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Chapter Text

Part I: Vivamus, Moriendum Est

James Charlus Potter was quite truthfully, your average teenaged pureblood boy. He was tall and rather muscled (from years of playing quidditch no doubt), he had bright hazel eyes, and black hair that always seemed to stick out at one odd angle or another. On most, his hair would be rather awkward-looking, but he found a way to make its appearance quite charming. He had a handsome face with neither a mustache nor a beard to be found, and upon his nose rested what seemed to be his only flaw, an almost wire thin pair of glasses, for despite the beauty of his hazel eyes, they were nearly blind.

However, he was still the epitome of pureblood handsomeness. And he had a fair sense of dress as well, undoubtedly drilled into him by his mother, the Lady Dorea Potter, and perhaps even his father, the Lord Charlus Fleamont Potter. James quite clearly achieved his good looks from his parents.

Charlus Potter was a man of average height and stocky build. He had thick arms, a square jaw, and a devilish smirk that was ever present on his face (which James most definitely inherited). His hair was the same black as his sons, but much shorter, and very muggle soldier like, his square jaw (which drew many women to him in his teenaged years) became hidden by a great big, bushy, black, beard, which over time, had begun to grey. His eyes were a dark blue color, and his face was rather pale, quite offsetting to his dark hair.

Dorea Potter was where James got his height; she stood no more than 8 centimeters shorter than her husband, but was on the rather petite side; she had long dark hair, and the same hazel eyes as her son. Her face was pretty, and had aged very well, with hardly a wrinkle in sight. Her skin was the same pale color of her husband and son. She had always enjoyed being naturally beautiful, and avoided makeup as such. Her heritage as a daughter of the Black family was clear to see.

James, as mentioned above, was a longtime quidditch player. His skill as a chaser earned him a starting position in his second year, and the honor of being Gryffindor’s team captain in his fourth year. He helped Gryffindor win the Quidditch and House cup for six straight years. And he even performed well in school, despite never trying. James consistently earned EEs in all his classes, and rarely didn’t get Os in Transfiguration; school seemingly came natural to him, despite his rather blase attitude about it.
The thing James excelled in the most however, was girls. They flocked to him, he got good grades, he was rich, he was handsome, what wasn't there to like? Of course, despite the constant attention from numerous girls spanning all years of Hogwarts, there was only one who ever truly drew his eye.

Lily Evans was a rather petite girl, with very little height, and a lot of temper. She had bright red hair, emerald green eyes, and pale skin. She was intelligent, she was funny, and she hated James Potter with a passion.

Her reasons were many: one, he constantly bullied her friend Severus; two, he was cocky and a womanizer; three, he constantly chased after her, always asking her out, trying to keep her away from Severus, and just annoying her in general; and fourth, worst of all, his grades. They were far too good for someone who spent all his time flirting and playing quidditch. He never studied, and yet he achieved consistent EEs and Os, whereas Lily had to constantly study and review to achieve her own EEs and Os. It was infuriating; he was infuriating.

For five and a half years, she dealt with his constant persuals. Until one day during their sixth year.

--BREAK--

The potions hall was a rather dark and depressing room in the dungeons of Hogwarts, not far from where Lily knew the Slytherin common room was, and where she knew Severus would be right now. She missed him, at least a little bit, but she knew that ending her friendship with him was for the best, his obsession with the dark arts, and his now known following of the blood supremacists was far too much for her. She supposed that his calling her a mudblood wasn’t entirely his fault, as he had just been humiliated by Potter, Black, Remus and Peter again, but still, it hurt, and he had yet to offer an apology several months later.

And there they were, the “Marauders”: James Potter; Sirius Black; Remus Lupin; and Peter Pettigrew. Lily never understood how Remus had come to be friends with the other three—he was completely different from Potter and Black. He was a hard worker, he enjoyed quieter things, and he had always been the kindest to Severus (although, he still followed Potter and Black’s lead when they bullied him). Peter she could understand, he had serious confidence issues, and to be looked at kindly by two of the most popular and wealthy students in Hogwarts, well, he’d do anything they asked.

The past several weeks had been weird. Potter had stopped flirting with her, in fact, he had stopped almost all interaction with her, besides the occasional “Good morning” or “Afternoon, Evans”. It was strange, she still caught him staring at her in class or the common room occasionally, but he rarely spoke to her. And this day was no different. When she passed by his and Black’s table upon arriving to class, he politely said hello, and returned to his conversation with Black. It was strange and she had no idea what brought on the sudden change. But no matter, she had work to do; she turned to her potions partner, Alice Smith, and they begun to work.

It wasn’t until class was about halfway through, when a younger looking student entered the room, and handed a note to Professor Slughorn, before leaving. Slughorn looked at the note, and expressed nothing. He looked at the class, and by now everyone was looking at him.

“Mr. Pot…” He stopped there and righted himself, “James M’boy, if you would follow me please.”

Potter looked confused, but stood and followed Slughorn into his office, telling Black that the potion just needed to simmer for half an hour, and it would be ready to be bottled.

No one looked back at their potion. They looked through the small glass window on Slughorn’s office door, through which they could see Potter’s back, as he sat in the chair before the great big desk that filled half the room. For about a minute, they heard nothing but muffled speaking, before a voice that very clearly belonged to Potter shouted:

“NO! YOU’RE LYING!”

At this point, Potter stood, ripped open the door, and ran out the still open Potions room entrance. Slughorn sighed loudly, before standing, walking back to his desk in the classroom itself, and saying to the furiously whispering students, “Alright! Alright! That’s enough of that! I’ll have no rumour mongering in my classroom; everybody get back to your potions. Mr. Lupin, please assist Mr. Black if he needs any help.”

The rest of potions passed uneventfully.

--BREAK--

By dinner time, still no one had seen Potter, not even Black, Remus, or Peter. Sitting next to Alice, she waited for the nightly mail to arrive. And as it did, the Great Hall filled with silence. For on the Daily Prophet, was something Lily had not expected.

LORD CHARLUS POTTER AND LADY DOREA POTTER née BLACK FOUND DEAD

By: Rita Skeeter

It is with a heavy heart that I must inform you dear readers, that early this morning, the Lord Charlus Potter and Lady Dorea Potter, of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Potter, were found dead in a heavily damaged Mt. Plastes, the ancestral castle of the Potter Family. Flying above the castle was a dark mark, confirming that the Potter’s were murdered by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named or his Death Eaters.

The Potter’s leave behind one son, James Charlus Potter, now the Lord of House Potter.

Lily was horrified, as much as she disliked Pot— James, she would never wish something like this on him. No matter how much he bullied Severus, no matter how cocky and arrogant he was, he didn’t deserve to have his parents killed. She heard a sob and watched as Remus and Peter helped a sobbing Sirius Black walk out of the Great Hall. Oh, that’s right, he had lived with the Potters for years (Dorea being his great aunt). She had forgotten about that. She stood and walked out of the Great Hall shortly behind them, as Dumbledore stood to address the students.

She had to think, where would she go if she were James Potter, after learning his parents were dead. Of course! The one place he loved the most! The Quidditch Pitch!

She walked quickly to the Quidditch Pitch and discovered she was right. Sitting at the top of one of the towers, looking towards the Black Lake, was James Potter himself. As he was more than 100 feet in the air and she was to his right, he had not seen her. Within minutes, she had climbed the many flights of stairs needed to reach the top platform, and sat herself down next to him. He either didn’t see her, or was just ignoring her presence. She waited ten minutes before she spoke.

“It was in the Daily Prophet. I’m so sorry.”

He didn’t look at her when he responded.
“It was going to happen eventually. They refused to join him; they knew the risks.”
Lily was shocked by the sheer lack of emotion in his voice, but she knew well the stages of grief, and it seemed he jumped straight from 1 to 4.

“Still, you’re allowed to be sad, James. It’s normal to be sad when something like this happens.”

She saw him smile slightly, but it was gone almost immediately.

“That’s the first time you’ve ever called me James. It’s only ever been Potter, since the beginning of first year.”
“It’s hard to comfort someone when calling them by their last name.”

“I suppose so. If you wouldn’t mind, I would enjoy it if you didn’t return to using my last name.”

Lily looked at him. He still hadn’t stopped staring at the Black Lake, where the Giant Squid could be seen playing. The sun was slowly setting over the Scottish Highlands. The sky was a brilliant mix of orange, blue, purple, and black.

“It’s a beautiful night.” And it truly was.

“It is. I wish my parents could see it.”

Lily was surprised; he had gone back to stage 3.

“It won’t be the same for me and Sirius anymore. It never will be.”

Lily looked at him again, and saw a single tear run down his aristocratic face. She had never realised how handsome he truly was. But now was not the time for that. She gently reached her arm over his shoulders, and pulled him against her side. The fact that he was 30 centimeters taller than her, and twice her weight, made it slightly awkward, but she ignored it, and since he didn’t move away, she assumed he was doing the same thing.

Lily realised that it would never be the same for James and her either. Not after tonight. It wouldn’t be until nearly one o’clock the next morning before they left that tower. And they would be far closer than they had been just 13 hours ago.

Chapter Text

Part II: Grief, and All His Friends

The shocking loss of his parents had revealed a startling maturity to the black haired teen Potter. Suddenly becoming an orphan, and the Lord of a very wealthy and politically powerful Noble House had prevented the young man from acting in his former childish nature. The new James Potter was just as charming and charismatic as the old, but he lacked the exuberant warmth and curiosity he used to. Being a Noble Lord at sixteen was a lofty task, especially when you had to deal with a sudden lack of parental figures.

James had, for the most part, taken it in stride. He still played pranks with his friends, he still went to Hogsmeade with his friends every weekend, and he was still the Gryffindor Quidditch Teams star chaser and Captain. Yet there was an almost sinister chill to him at times.

The Gryffindor team became much more vicious in their pursuit of the cup. James became more content in sitting at the Three Broomsticks sipping Ale. And most notably, the pranks the Marauders played occasionally took on a ruthless edge.

While before, pranks were fairly random (excluding the targeting of Severus Snape), and fairly innocent and harmless (again, excluding Snape), those who were known to bully others, and Slytherins in particular, found themselves the victims of savage and humiliating pranks.

The best example being that of Lucius Malfoy. While the Malfoy heir had never spoken out of his support for He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, it was well known that he did, and widely rumored (within Hogwarts, at least) that he had taken the Dark Mark. No more than a month before school ended, and a month after the rumors began, and a particularly cruel bunch of names fell from the seventh-years mouth (directed at a few muggleborn first-years), the long-haired blonde was found wandering an abandoned sixth-floor corridor.

Barely coherent, covered in sweat, and pale as a ghost (almost literally), the boy was rambling and raving about a large shadow with a belt in one hand and a wand in the other. It was believed that someone had planted a suggestion potion in his supper, causing him to visit an unused sixth-floor classroom, known to be the haunt of a boggart.

When it was announced that aurors would be arriving at the castle to investigate, Lily had immediately looked at the sixth-year Gryffindor boys. She was passed over Frank Longbottom immediately, the Longbottom heir (who looked slightly concerned at the nature of the “prank”) had never been much of a jokester, nor particularly cruel. It was the looks on the so called “Marauders” faces that caused her to determine they were the culprits.

Peter was looking nervously at the other three and fidgeting his hands. Remus appeared disturbed, and had his hand on Peter’s shoulder as he glared slightly at the so far unnamed third and fourth Marauders. Sirius Black merely seemed to be bored. He held his head up by his chin, and didn’t truly seem to be listening to the Headmaster speak, nor did he seem aware of the glares or nervous glances being sent his way by his friends.

James Potter was completely different. He sat erect, his mouth set in a thin line, displaying no emotion. His eyes proved his guilt, they were cold, and casually dismissive at the horrors Lucius Malfoy must have experienced, being unable to react to a boggart.

She had followed him from the Great Hall that evening, hell-bent on questioning her recently made friend.

--BREAK--

She followed James Potter up three flights of stairs before pushing him into the first unused classroom she saw on the fourth floor. The pureblooded boy, despite being caught somewhat off guard about the timing, did not draw his wand, apparently aware about who had been following him.
“What the hell did you do!” Lily burst out, after sending locking and silencing charms at the classrooms door.

James spun around, and met her glare with emotionless eyes. Despite normally being a bright, almost amber hazel color, they were now dark, appearing more brown than hazel.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about Lily.”

“Don’t bullshit me Potter, I kn-”

James cut her off with a slight smirk, “Back to using my last name, are we Evans,” He made sure to annunciate her last name.
Lily dialed her glare up to a ten, and gripped her wand tightly, before beginning her tirade.

“Do not, interrupt me, James.” Lily ground her teeth at his smirk, “I know you and the other three did that to Malfoy. Over the past months your pranks have gone from harmless and (relatively) amusing to humiliating, and almost exclusively targeted at the older Slytherins. And now this?”

James stopped her again, his smirk still infuriatingly calm.

“Do you have proof, Lily?”

“No… But I know it was you, I just don’t know why.”

“Don’t bullshit me Evans,” He nearly yelled her own words back to her, “You damn well know why! Our world is at war! It has been for nearly a decade! A decade! Lucius Malfoy is exactly the kind of scum that represents all that’s wrong with the Wizarding World!”

His outburst shocked her into silence. He ran a hand through his hair, and took a long sigh. His breathing was hard, and Lily could almost hear his heart beating in the barely lit and quiet room.

He looked her in the eye, and surged forward, pulling her into a kiss. Her shock was renewed, but the kiss didn’t last long. Just as she began to respond to him, he pulled away, and rested his forehead against hers.

He spoke quietly, as they both took in deep breaths.

“I love you, Lily. I have since we were eleven years old, and we saw each other on the train for the first time. I don’t care if you don’t return my feelings, but they exist. So you know why. I will not sit idly by, as Lucius Fucking Malfoy all but parades his Dark Mark around the school halls. Shouting ‘mudblood this!’ and ‘mudblood that!’. The aurors aren’t doing shit to his followers, so if we don’t, no one will.”

She pulled her face away from his slightly, and stuttered the first word of her response.

“I-, I love you too, James. But whether or not that’s true, this is neither the time, nor the place to fight his followers. And not when those followers are our own classmates.”

He looked into her eyes, and sighed deeply, for the second time in as many minutes.

“They’re animals, Lily. Every single damned one of them. They hate anyone who isn’t pureblood, muggleborns especially. I won’t let them take you away, not now that I finally have you.”

His eyes were pleading, begging her to understand him, and her heart softened somewhat. She knew the loss of his parents still pained him, but that didn’t excuse him potentially permanently scarring one of their classmates.

“You won’t lose me James. I know you care about me, and I know you miss your parents. But you could’ve killed Malfoy! Sicking a boggart on him when he cant defend himself, you know how dangerous they are!”

James looked down, staring at the small space between their toes, and sighed, again.
“I know Lily. I know.”

She pressed her lips to his lightly, before pulling them away. Leaning her head against his chest, hearing his still pounding heart, she spoke.

“I know you know, James.”

--BREAK--

It was a cold and windy day in the Scottish Highlands as the students of Hogwarts sat in the great hall and began their lunch. November was in full swing, and despite being the wintery months, snow had yet to fall on the ancient castle. For the two and a half months since the school year had began, the young witches and wizards of Britain, and their teachers, had so far felt only wind, cold, and rain.

Lily Evans, however, felt rather warm. James Potter’s sudden maturity midway through the previous year had been strange, as had their blossoming friendship, and their passionate “I love you” declarations in the middle of a heated argument about Lucius Malfoy.

For the entirety of summer, she had sent him letters daily, and he back to her. Alice had all but squealed in excitement when she told the girl about her newest pen pal. James too, seemed overtly excited. He ran into her on the muggle side of Platform 9 and 3/4s as her parents dropped her off for her last year of school. When he spotted her, his face broke out in a grin, and he grabbed her up off her feet, and spun her in a circle, pressing a light kiss against her cheek.

She had been mortified, as he had done so within full view of her parents. Her father had a slightly amused smirk adorning his face, as her mother had slightly sadistic, but motherly joy on her own face.

They walked up and introduced themselves to the lightly blushing Potter, as Lily responded for him, exasperated with his childishness (even if she found it adorable).

Introductions aside, she hugged her parents tightly, and pulled James through the portal, luggage in tow.

Just the memory of James meeting her parents brought a smile to the teenaged Gryffindor’s face. He had been nothing like the Pureblood Lord he was, and everything like the infatuated young man he also happened to be. It was adorable, just like him.

She smiled fondly as she reached up at the letter floating down towards her. The elegant script on the front shocked her, it was from Petunia. In the over six year Lily had been at Hogwarts, Petunia had never once written her.

The smile slipped from her face, whatever it was, it couldn’t be good. Petunia would never write her unless something terrible had happened. And indeed, she was right.

Lily didn’t notice James as she sprint out the Great Hall doors, nor did she notice him picking up Petunia’s letter as she dropped it on her way out. Her vision was blurring already, and all she wanted was to be alone before the sobs started.

James looked at her as she flew by, and he looked down at the letter as his eyebrows steadily rose farther up his head. Reaching the bottom of the page, he stuffed it in his pocket, and ran after her, positive as to where she would go.

--BREAK--

Lily didn’t react as he sat down next to her. She still didn’t react as he pulled her against his side. She didn’t question how he found her, she already knew. She didn’t say anything as he gently rubbed a cloth against her cheeks, dampened from her crying. All she did was hold onto him, gripping him so tight, one would think she was drowning, and he was her only chance at staying a float. From a certain point of view, she supposed that was accurate. She waited for him to speak first.

“It’s weird, isn’t it? Knowing you’ll never be able to speak to them again. Knowing there won’t be anymore weekly letters, or monthly, fresh made care packages.”

He trailed off slightly, before finishing his statement, “Knowing that the words you said to them on the platform, were the last they ever heard from you in person.”

More tears leaked from her eyes. She spoke quietly, her voice raw.

“They been gone for three days, and ‘Tunia only sent me the letter today. I’ve only known for twenty minutes. And I already miss them more than anything.”

“I know Lily,” He sighed deeply, “Believe me, I know.”

She pushed herself into his embrace, her left ear tight to his chest.

He did know. It hadn’t even been a year since they sat in a very similar position, though the roles had been reversed, with her comforting him that evening so long ago.

She shivered slightly, the wind had stopped, but it was still November in Northern Scotland, it was cold and dark, despite being two in the afternoon.

“Does it ever go away?” She raised her head to look him in the eyes. His were warm, and loving, but they had a clear sadness about them.

“No,” He replied softly, “But it does get easier, over time. The hurt fades, and you remember all the good times you had. You remember the birthdays, and the trips to the zoo, and you remember every time you made them smile.”

Lily took a deep breath, and latched onto his words. They made her feel better. Well, as much as words could, in a situation like this.
“How did you deal with it? The pain, the anger, the grief.”

“I didn't need to. I had you. If you hadn’t been with me that night, and all the nights after, there’s a good chance I would have succumbed to grief and all his friends. I nearly threw myself from this very tower.”

She looked at him, abject horror in her eyes, but the horror faded quickly, and understanding set in. She understood it, clearly she did. Not half an hour ago she read that her parents were dead, and when she saw those words, she had all but wished for a killing curse to rip her pain from her.

“But I didn’t, cause you were there for me. Cause Sirius was there for me to grieve with. Even on the darkest nights, when you miss them the most, someone will be there. A hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on, an ear to share a year’s old story with. I’ll be here for you.”

He kissed her temple lightly, and pulled her back into his embrace.

“I’ll be here from this day till my last, because I know you’re pain. You were there for me when I felt it. And I’ll be here for you however long you feel it.”

More tears leaked from her eyes, staining his shirt.

“I love you, James.”

“I love you too, Lily.”

As they sat their, hugging each other tightly, the clouds drifted away slightly over the hours, and by the time they climbed down from the Gryffindor stands at nearly seven that night, a slight bit of sun shone through the clouds. Casting the two orphaned teens in its warm glow.