Archive of Our Own ^beta

Sam,

I had a dream last night as I was waiting to put my plan into action. It was a dream about something very special to me.

I dreamt about you.

You came to me, Sam, and begged and pleaded for Anna's life. She deserved to live, you said, and you offered yourself in her place.

Well, Sam, what could I say to that? What could I do but accept? So I let poor Anna out the back and took you into my sanctum.

First I got you out of those nondescript clothes. The sweatshirt first, and your undershirt, so that I could see your shivering chest bare in the lamplight. Then the jeans, shoes, and socks. And finally...

...but you stopped me. You wanted to do it yourself, you said.

And I let you. You wouldn't look at me, but you slipped out of that last layer and stood before me, perfect and beautiful, like one of my masterpieces come to life.

I came to you then and held you for a while. You tried to turn away from me, so I lifted my mask and kissed your neck instead, up the pale length of it until I reached your jaw. You shuddered as I brushed my lips over your skin and melted into my arms.

I'm sure you're doubtful, Sam. Why would you give yourself over to me? But you would be surprised. I can be very... persuasive.

Do you remember my piece in the clock tower? He underestimated me as well. Not as lovely as you, but livelier. He gave himself to me, too, in the end.

In my dream you were heavy in my arms. I curled my arm around your head and kissed you, deeply and fully, and after a moment you kissed me back. You kissed beautifully. Just like Anna said you did.

Ah, I see that you've found the padded room. Wait a bit. There's something else I want you to hear.

I dreamed that we were in the room just ahead of you. So near, Sam, and yet so far! I laid you down on the sofa and you lay beneath me, still shivering. I ran my tongue down your chest, and you tasted divine, an ambrosia the gods themselves had never sampled.

Then, Sam, I pressed my knee between your thighs, moved it higher, higher, and you gasped as the wool of my trousers brushed your sensitive flesh. "Lay still," I told you, and you did, a breath trapped in your chest. "Raise your hands above your head." And you did. "Now, tell me why you really offered your life for Anna's."

You told me the truth: that you'd had your doubts for some time, that you found your old life dull and meaningless, and that Anna was nothing more to you than, perhaps, a sister. You said that you'd come to realize that you needed me.

Oh, how I thrilled to hear that. You lay beneath me, hands restrained, legs opened for me, and you wanted me. Me, Sam! Do you know what it is like to be wanted?

You wanted me, so I released myself and entered you. Your body arched up against me, but you held the position I had demanded of you. That was how I knew that you were mine, body and soul, for the rest of your life. We met again and again, and when you cried out for me--Oscar, Oscar--I gave you the gift of release.

One thing more, Sam. Do you hear that hiss?

Embalming fluids are not my only tools in trade. There are chemicals that, when vaporized, depress the respiration of anyone breathing them. That is what you are smelling, Sam. But don't fight it! You will not escape the room before you lose consciousness. Yes. Just relax. That's it. Kneel down--you won't have so far to fall, and we don't want you to damage that beautiful face. In a few minutes I'll be down to gather you up. I imagine you'll be heavy, Sam, just as I dreamt. But worth it. So, so worth it.

Good night, Sam. I'll see you soon.