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Chapter Text

The walk to her house was always so peaceful. The streets quieter than the unending bustling of downtown Seoul.

It was part of the reason he liked walking her home. The quiet, calmness seemed to settle her. She rarely needed her headphones when they walked together.

When she was calm, when she was focused on him, their conversation or activity, she was able to expand their topics on her own. Everyday she seemed to blossom in front of his eyes.

Proud seemed like to small a word for how he felt.

He stopped a shop away, needing to gather his nerve. He smoothed his shirt. Ran a hand through his hair. Blew out a few hard breaths in a futile attempt to settle his nerves.

This wasn’t the first time he’d met the parent or parents of the woman he was dating. None of this was new.

Yet he was so nervous, he worried he might vomit.

It wasn’t everyday you met the father of the woman you intended to marry.

Easy. Easy. There would be time for that later.

He shook his head and looked down at his watch. He was going to be late if he didn’t summon his courage in the next few minutes.

Then he would be the man who kissed his daughter and the man who was late, all in the same breath.

Woo Young Woo Gimbap

He could see the sign from where he stood, he just had to will his legs to move.

Why they thought this was a good idea, he couldn’t remember. But here he was, about to go and meet her father. Alone. At her father’s request.

Su Yeon had taken the opportunity to whisk Youngwoo shopping. It was their once a month outing and something Youngwoo would lament loudly but secretly looked forward too.

She would be occupied for a few hours and he would have ample time to convince her father that he would love Youngwoo for the rest of their lives.

It was the right approach, and would allow the two of then time to talk, alone. There were things that needed to be said and addressed that she was better off not hearing.

With one final deep breath, he crossed the distance between the two shops and stopped in front of the door.

Her father was waiting inside, sitting at a table trimming Spinach. He motioned him in before there was time to knock.

Hi! Nice to meet you. I love your daughter.

His thoughts raced and he scrambled to pull himself together before he spoke.

“Lee Jun ho.”

It was part question, part accusation.

“The young man who finds it acceptable to kiss my daughter without being in a relationship.”

Seemed they were going to skip the formalities.

“I…” Jun ho started but the words didn’t come. “That was…a…a misunderstanding.” He sighed and shook his head. “I’m still learning that you have to very direct and exact with Youngwoo.”

“Twenty seven years later and I still don’t always get it right.” He motioned to the seat across from him.

Jun ho nodded and slid the chair out. He was handed a knife as soon as he sat. Her father trimmed the end off a stock of Spinach, eyes cast down.

“Who are you, Lee Jun ho?” Gwang-ho asked of him. “How did you end up here? Dating my Youngwoo?”

The man who is going to marry your little girl?

Did he want a family history? Education history? Dating history?

“No one has ever shown a romantic interest in Youngwoo and now you’re here to ask my blessing. Why Youngwoo? A handsome young man like you, with a good job…you could have your choice of women. And yet you’ve chosen Youngwoo.”

Jun ho gulped in a hard breath and forced his eyes down to the knife in his hand and the Spinach he was pretending to know how to trim. “Why not Youngwoo?”

Why wouldn’t someone want to date her? Why wouldn’t someone love her? The answer was always because she was Autistic, but he didn’t understand why that made her unlovable.

“She’s beautiful. She’s smart and sweet. She makes me laugh. And really I just want to be with her.”

Gwang-ho nodded and finally turned his gaze on Junho. “Loving her isn’t just Whales and Dolphins. It’s also anxiety. Sensory overloads and meltdowns.”

Jun ho nodded. “She seems to respond well to pressure, a tight hug, when she’s experiencing a sensory overload. I’ve also been doing some research on breathing techniques that may help her in the event that I’m not around.”

“You’ve researched how to calm her?”

Who was this young man sat before him? This young man with kind eyes, who spoke of his daughter with a rush of love.

“We try to make sure her headphones are always with her but sometimes they aren’t enough. I won’t always be with her, so it will be beneficial if she has some extra coping strategies.”

This young man, Lee Jun ho, loved his Youngwoo. There was no question. But loving her was hard. Often times lonely. And probably not something that could be sustained.

“What happens in six months or a year, when you’re tired of hearing about Whales? When you can’t cope with her anxiety and are tired of taking care of her?”

“I won’t ever stop wanting to hear about Whales. I will hug her through every sensory overload for the rest of her life, if she’ll let me. And I enjoy taking care of her. Aside from twist off tops, there isn’t anything she can’t do. I just help her be more comfortable. Make the world a little easier for her. She deserves nothing less.”

Gwang-ho nodded, blinking back tears. He was telling the truth. He saw his future with Youngwoo. “You were kissing her, so I assume that you also feel physical love for her?” He had to be sure. Had to be convinced that this wasn’t just some misguided attempt at sympathy disguised as love.

“She is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met and I’ve wanted to kiss her since the first time I saw her.”

It all sounded so wonderful. It was all he ever dreamed for Youngwoo. All the things he had given up as being possible. “Do you really see her as your wife? As the mother of your children? Do you believe she can be these things?”

“I…” Jun ho started softly, the words racing through his brain. Of course he did. He’d seen her as his wife, seen their beautiful children, in his dreams for awhile now. “I don’t see why she couldn’t be.”

“Children are everything that causes her anxiety. They’re loud. Messy. Unpredictable. I stopped believing I would have grandchildren years ago.”

It was honest. It was ugly. And it was a truth that needed to be acknowledged.

Jun ho was quiet. He flicked nervously at a stalk of Spanish with his knife. There was a truth in her fathers words that he couldn’t deny.

“I taught her how to go through the revolving doors at work. We are working on twist off tops. We’ve worked on making small talk that isnt work or Whales. She’s got a photographic memory that she uses for schedules and routines that she remembers down to the smallest detail. I’ve seen her do things she was told she couldn’t. She can do anything and if she wants to be a mother, I don’t see why she wouldn’t be amazing at it. And if she doesn’t, that’s okay too.”

Gwang-ho’s eyes closed and he squeezed them tightly, willing his tears not to fall. His girl had everything he’d ever hoped for her, and while he wasn’t naïve enough to believe that love was enough, he would give them his blessing.

And hope to walk her down the aisle sooner rather than later.
He held out his hand to Jun ho. “She’s waited a long time for you.”

Junho smiled, wide, happy, relieved and shook his future father-in-laws hand.

There was comfortable silence that followed as they sat and trimmed Spinach together. Both content in their knowledge that they would love, care for and protect her, for the rest of their lives.

Chapter Text

Hanbada was proving to be quite the rumor mill.

And they were the subject of the latest gossip.

They had been summoned to CEO Han’s office two days before, after having been caught kissing just outside the revolving door.

A kiss neither could help, to lost in the euphoria of her being able to navigate the revolving door on her own to stop themselves.

The few hours before the meeting were tense and he worried they wouldn’t be allowed to work together.

Youngwoo had brought the Hanbada bylaws with her, and in her succinct Youngwoo way, ended the meeting before it began.

There was nothing in them that said coworkers couldn’t date. And as she has so innocently added, nothing that forbad public displays of affection. Therefore the meeting was pointless and they had done nothing wrong.

That meant the elevator fantasy he was having was still on the table, or rather the wall.

They had been dismissed not long after. What else was left to say, other than half hearted congratulations and token wishes of happiness.

While it was never said, the implication was to maintain as much professionalism as they could, and if the relationship proved to be a distraction, their working together would need to be reevaluated.

News of their relationship spread like wildfire. Everywhere they went they inside Hanbada were met with stares, whispers. Some were even bold enough to ask if it was true.

“Jun hossi, is it true?” “I heard you’re dating Youngwoo, why?” “Do you feel sorry for her?” “How can he date someone like her?” “Does she even understand they’re dating?”

Why was this anyone’s concern?

Was this really how people thought? That someone with a disability wasn’t worthy of love, happiness, that they dared to question relationships.

He didn’t understand any of it. None of them even knew her. No one outside of himself and her team took the time to get to know her. All she was to them was Autistic Attorney Woo. It was impossible for many to see her as a person, as a woman, worthy and capable of being loved.

“Youngwooya, are you alright?”

Lunch was almost over and she hadn’t mentioned Whales once.

"Everyone is staring and whispering.” Her fingers twitched against the chopsticks she held. “They are confused why you are dating me.”

She was still confused sometimes too. He was a handsome man. He was kind and caring. He would make any woman at Hanbada happy.

“I think they’re just a little surprised. I’ve never dated anyone from work before.”

“No,” She countered quickly. “They don’t understand why you would choose me. You’re handsome. Kind. Warm hearted. And I’m Autistic. Why would you want Autistic Youngwoo when you could have anyone else?”

He watched her put down her chopsticks and rest her hands near her chest. Her body shifted and her eyes seemed somehow wider.

“I don’t want anyone else. I want you. I’ve wanted you since that very first day we met. Just because other people don’t understand, it doesn’t change how I feel. How you feel.”

I’m going to marry you!

A small smile tilted her lips. “There are no Whales or Dolphins who mate for life. They look for new partners every mating season.”

His laughter was full and he nodded. “Let’s not do that.”

“Let’s not do that,” She repeated picking up her chopsticks. She liked the idea of him being her only mate. “But we can have a mating season?”

Jun ho sputtered and coughed, trying to prevent himself from choking on the Pickled Radish he’d just put into his mouth.

Have a mating season? Was she trying to kill him?

“I think…” His mind was blank and the words were lost. “I think…well I mean…do you want a to have a mating season?”

“I think I should be your only mate. Yes.” Her eyes met his, wide and sparkling like they did after he greatest thoughts. “Don’t you?” She knew exactly what she was implying and she almost seemed proud of herself.

Didn’t he? More than anything.

“More than anything. But I think maybe this is a conversation we shouldn’t have at work. We can talk about this more when I walk you home tonight.”

“When you walk me home tonight.” Her smile was bright, knowing. Geurami had told her to be brave, like Junho had been, not to squander her second chance. Move forward and enjoy all the things men and women enjoyed.

Including mating season.

Chapter Text

Jjajangmyeon was their once a month Friday night meal. A tradition they had started when they first became flatmates, and one they tried their best to continue despite their busy lives and girlfriends.

“Meeting your parents is a big step. Is she ready?” Min-woo wondered as he went about sorting their food around the table.

The last time Jun ho thought it was a good idea to introduce her to his family, they’d broken up and he’d spent eight days trying to keep the poor guy from completely giving up.

“I’m kicking you out if she breaks up with you again. I can’t live like that.”

“I’m never letting her go again.”

“Mmm,” Min-woo nodded attention still focused on their dinner. “You’re bringing Gimbap with you this time?”

It was so simple. Just buy her Gimbap before they go and she wouldn’t have to struggle through a meal she didn’t enjoy. If only he had enough sense to do that when they met his sister.

“My Mom is making some for her.”

His parents were trying to be supportive. They asked questions, and inquired if there were any books or articles they could read about Autism, to try and make dinner more comfortable.

“Already off to a better start. Did you tell them about all of her…quirks? Kayak, Deed, Radar, Noon? That thing she does before she walks through a door? About the Whales and Dolphins?”

Jun ho nodded. Their visit to his sister had been hastily planned and not well thought out. This time both were much more aware of what was needed for a successful outing and were working on their communication to ensure dates outside of their proverbial bubble went well.

“I’ve explained everything. My parents and my brother seem willing to give her a chance.”

“Sounds promising.”

Jun ho was quiet, eyes focused on his bowl of Jjajangmyeon.

“You’re so nervous you aren’t even eating.”

“My sister is worried that I will spend more time taking care of her than loving her. Some friends of mine said the same. Even her father worries that she won’t be capable of being a wife and mother.”

“You don’t believe that,” Min-woo reminded him. “Youngwoo is a lot of things but helpless isn’t one of those things. She might need you a bit more than the average woman does, but she’s not some helpless wallflower. She might take the scenic route and a few detours on her way, but she always gets there in the end. You wouldn’t have a conventional life together, but I don’t see why she couldn’t do marriage and motherhood in her own way, just like she does everything else.”

“I wish it wasn’t so hard to convince people of that. She’s the most amazing woman and person I’ve ever known. That first day, when I saw her at the revolving door and I didn’t know then that she was Autistic…I just thought she was different and amazing. She wasn’t like anyone I’d ever met. I needed to know her.”

“You really are going to marry her.” His words were grabbled and hard to make out through a mouthful of food and shock.

Yes, he was going to marry her.

Jun ho understood the mumbled words and finally met Min-woo’ surprised glance.

“With or without my families blessing.”

Min-woo was quiet for a few seconds, the heavy implication of Jun ho’s words settling over him.

“Paiting!” He finally offered with a smile as he held up his glass.
______________________________________________________________

"You asked him if you can have a mating season?” Geurami snorted with laughter. “I didn’t know you had it in you. My Youngwoo is all grown up.”

When she’d told her to be brave, move the relationship forward, she hadn’t meant going straight to sex, but it was fun turn of events.

“What did Jun ho say?” She pressed. “When do you plan to have your mating season?”

Youngwoo nodded but kept her eyes on her Gimbap. “Jun ho says that there is no rush and that I don’t have to push myself to do things I’m not ready for for.”

Min-shik nodded. “This is the advice you should be listening to, not hers.”

“It’s good to talk about these things. And you like plans and goals. Gives you something to work toward.”

“Oh make it a plan with reachable goals and milestones. I hadn’t thought of that. I will mention it to Jun ho after we have dinner at his parents.”

The beer Geurami had just sipped shot from her mouth in surprise. “You’re doing what?"

Min-shik shook his head and reached for a towel. “You’re cleaning that up!”

“Later later…you’re meeting his parents?”

“Also his brother and his girlfriend.”

The thought of meeting four new people at the same time had already sparked her anxiety. Neurotypical girlfriends would smile and bow, maybe hug their hosts. Neurotypical girlfriends would engage in almost instant small talk.

She was likely to spend half the meal nervously reciting the palindromes of her name. Fingers trembling at her sides or clutched at her chest. Any small talk she tried to make was sure to deviate to whales or Dolphins, no matter how hard she tried.

Jun ho had promised his family understood, that they would welcome her in whatever way she needed, even if that meant skipping formalities.

All she had to was be herself, he said.

Just be herself.

“Forget that terrible, outdated TV nonsense this one told you last time,” Min-shik’s voice brought her out of her thoughts and she looked up at him, eyes wide with anxiety. “You just be yourself.”

“Autistic Woo Young Woo is the weakest link. No parents want their son to bring me home. His sister said their parents would faint if he brought me home.”

Geurami winced. Who did this woman think she was?

“Youngwoo listen to me, if someone doesn’t like you or want to know you because of your Austim, that’s their issue, not yours. You are great just the way you are. And most importantly, Jun ho loves you and what his family thinks isn’t going to change that. You go there and you be you. Adorable. Genius. Sweet. Wonderfully weird, Woo Young Woo.”

“Be myself,” She repeated. “Adorable. Genius. Sweet. Wonderfully weird, Woo Young Woo.”

“They’re going to love you,” Min-shik assured.

Hopefully. Maybe. Eventually.

Chapter Text

He had the taxi drop them half a block from his parents home to allow them time to talk, prepare and for him to convince her that no matter what happened, he wanted to be with her.

“You don’t have to say, do or try anything that you don’t want to,” Jun ho reminded her as the walked toward his parents home. “If you feel anxious tell me and we’ll get your headphones or I can hold you until you feel better.”

She nodded but didn’t look at him. She already felt as though she needed her headphones. Her stomach felt sick and she could barely control the nervous ticking of her fingers. It had been alright when it was just his parents and his brother, but his sister deciding to come last minute had set her on edge.

“Youngwooya,” He stopped walking and moved so he could face her. She was the bravest woman he had ever met. “My parents are looking forward to meeting you. I think my Dad even looked up some Whale facts to try and impress you.”

She smiled a little at that, though she hasn’t turned to face him yet. “I don’t believe he could tell me anything I don’t already know, but I look forward to him trying.”

Jun ho laughed hard, full, and nodded.

Was now the appropriate time to tell her he loved her? That her smile was all he needed?

“My Mom promised that she made the Gimbap exactly how you like it. And my brother and his girlfriend told me they came up with a few extra palindromes you might like to add to your introduction.”

“Oh. Really?” She asked excited as she finally turned so she could look at him. “Which ones?” She mentally thumbed through her known list of words trying to sort through what they may have selected.

“Smile just like that when you meet everyone.”

“Even your sister?”

He watched her smile fade and his heart sank. He didn’t understand why his sister was doing this, but he wouldn’t let her ruin their relationship again.

“She said your parents will faint if you bring me home.”

“You aren’t going to marry her so don’t worry our parents”

“She was wrong to say that and about how my parents would react. She has been wrong about all of it.”

“All of it?”

“That I wasn’t going to bring you home. That I wasn’t going to marry you…” He saw the surprise in her eyes, the fear. He hadn’t even told her he loved her and he was talking about marrying her. “I mean…one day, if we think it’s a good idea…I well, I love you and…”

“You would need my father’s blessing and we should probably wait until we’ve had sex to be sure all aspects of the relationship are satisfactory.”

Jun ho wheezed and sputtered through a shaky breath. She loved him too. She wanted to marry him.

And she wanted to have sex.

How had he gotten so lucky?

“Geurami suggested that we make a goal and set tasks and milestones as we move toward reaching it. Things like kissing and touching…”

He nodded and stepped toward her, his hands slowly moving to her waist. Her eyes moved between his eyes and his lips. “We are already pretty good at kissing.”

They were very good at kissing and had become even better since they decided not to break up.

He kissed her then, in the middle of the pathway, five houses away from his parents home. Under the late afternoon sun. Anyone could see them.

He hoped they did.

Nervous fingers slipped between their bodies, gripping at the front of his shirt. Her head tipped back, a tip from Geurami, and her lips parted.

He would have to tear himself away soon, so they wouldn’t be late. Not that it mattered. It was all merely a formality. No matter what his sister, his brother, or his parents thought or said, he was going to spend the rest of his life with her.

Chapter Text

They had opted for a semi-formal introduction, one that allowed Youngwoo to only introduce herself one time after the others had finished.

She was nervous and her fingers flicked at her side. “Woo Young Woo,” She forced out through a nervous breath, concluding with a stiff bow. She wouldn’t do it. Not this time. She winced and squeezed her eyes shut tightly.

Not this time.

“Your name is interesting,” Byung-ho started, “It’s the same backwards as it is forwards.” His eyes went between Youngwoo who looked incredibly uncomfortable and slightly pained, Jun ho who’s attention was focused only on Youngwoo.

Why couldn’t do her usual introduction? Why pain herself trying to keep it in?

They’d all been told it was verbal stimulation or stimming, and was used to help her cope in stressful situations.

He didn’t see why she couldn’t stim if it made her feel more at ease.

His smile was encouraging and his eyes filled with kindness as he nodded for her to continue.

The resemblance to Jun ho was unmistakable and she would have known they were brothers, Jun ho older by two years, without introduction.

“Jun ho told us that you have a list of palindromes that usually follow Woo Young Woo. We thought of a couple you might not have already.”

Binna was a gorgeous young woman who had a bright smile and soft demeanor. She was Byung ho’s girlfriend of three years, and Jun ho said she was incredibly kind and would treat Youngwoo was respect.

“Woo Young Woo. Whether it's read straight or flipped. Kayak, deed, rotator, Noon, racecar. Yeoksam station.” The words came fast. Flying from her throat with little control.

The breath of relief that followed almost knocked her off her feet.

“Radar would work well between Kayak and deed.” Byung-ho mused.

Binna nodded. “Motor could go before rotator.”

Youngwoo regarded them curiously. No one had ever reacted this way. No one, except Jun ho, had ever seemed interested in her stimming. She looked up at Jun ho, who nodded through a bright smile.

When he had explained this to them, her stimming, he had only wanted understanding.

He hadn’t expected acceptance.

“Kayak, Radar, deed, motor, rotator, Noon, racecar.” She tested the new order. It wasn’t bad, though it didn’t seem to provide the same feeling of relief as the original version.

“Sounds good. I like it.” Binna and Byung-ho nodded.

Seung-hui had stood a distance back, just off to the side of their parents, observing. Why he was doing this, why he was putting them all through this, she would never understand.

How was this dinner supposed to change her feelings, when everything about custom and formality went out the window. How could someone bring their own food or expect a special dish to be made for them and not expect to be judged for it?

“We should help Mom get dinner on the table.”

Binna nodded and moved toward Youngwoo, motioning for her to follow.

They had agreed to disregard any formalities that may upset Youngwoo, but this one felt important to uphold. And she would watch over Youngwoo to ensure she wasn’t pushed to far.

Jun ho was ready to interrupt when Byung-ho clapped a hand on his back. “Breathe, Binna will watch over her.”

Jun ho nodded but his eyes never left the kitchen where Binna and Youngwoo had ducked out of sight. “I thought we agreed to skip the formalities.”

“She’s fine. You know Binna has done some volunteer work similar to what you did at Nanuri, you can trust her with Youngwoo. And Mom will be kind to her.”

“It’s not Binna or Mom I’m worried about.”

“You know Seung-hui. She’s always been like this. Don’t let her get to you.”

It wasn’t himself he was worried about. Seung-hui words had already caused Youngwoo immense pain and had caused their breakup. She couldn’t be trusted to be alone or really within earshot of Youngwoo.

“She won’t behave like that tonight.”

He didn’t know if he was trying to convince himself or Jun ho. They both knew their sister and once she made her feelings known, it was very hard to change them.

All they could hope was that she wanted to speak her mind, this time she would ensure Youngwoo wasn’t nearby.

Chapter Text

Jun ho was quiet, watching and listening intently as Youngwoo carried out several, short and non-whale related conversations with his family.

She’d thanked his mother for the Gimbap, a variation that was almost as good as the one her father prepared for her. His Mother offered to teach her the recipe, they could make it together.

His father asked about the Raon case. Her eyes danced as she spoke, nothing that would break Attorney client privilege, but enough details that she was able to show them what a brilliant mind she had, and what a fabulous Attorney she was.

Binna and Byung-ho sat nearby and were careful to keep an eye on her. They had promised Jun ho that they would do everything they could to make her feel at ease. They would wait for a lull in the conversation and work in Whales if they could.

Seung-hui had been quiet through the entire meal. This was a farce of a meal and she wanted to say it, but had promised her parents she wouldn’t. It was a joke that they were expected to break formalities, structure conversations and topics. She understood most of this was out if Youngwoo’s control and that her Autism made everyday tasks and conversing a struggle, it just seemed almost cruel, that their family had to change because of it.

“Is it textures or tastes that make you unable to eat what the rest of us are eating?”

Youngwoo was finishing her last piece of Gimbap and looked across the table anxiously.

“Seung-hui…” Jun ho warned quickly.

Youngwoo offered him a soft smile and nodded her appreciation, but he didn’t have to. If there was anything other than law and Whales that she understood, it was her Autism.

“Autism means I experience the world differently than someone who doesn’t have it. Things are brighter. Louder. Textures are more exaggerated and tastes stronger. It’s hard for me to eat new things as I don’t know how strong my reaction to them will be. It’s better if I can see all the ingredients before I eat, but new textures and flavors are still a struggle.”

She was incredible. Amazing. Extraordinary. And she was going to be his wife.<

“You don’t have to explain anything.” Jun ho reminded her, though he was content to let her continue.

There was never anything wrong with helping people understand her Autism.

“Why not try anything here? Most of the food isn’t mixed. You can’t expect someone to cook you a separate dish or buy your own Gimbap every time you go out.”

“Geumanhaseyo!” Their father demanded.

The table was quiet and eyes darted between one another. The silence was tense and Youngwoo fidgeted in her chair.

Jun ho shook his head and leaned over to check on Youngwoo.

If he was honest, he was surprised they had made it as far into the night as they had.

Nothing good was ever going to come from his sisters presence and unwillingness to try with Youngwoo.

And they still had to get through dessert.

Chapter Text

Dessert was a quiet affair. A few words of small talk passing between them, but the air around was thick with tension and no one dared break it.

Seung-hui and Binna had taken Youngwoo with them to prepare the tea, much to Jun ho’s disapproval.

His father had assured that there was nothing further to be said or worried about, a warning to Seung-hui.

Jun ho sat nervously at the table with his parents and Byung-ho across from him. He knew where the conversation was going to go. His stomach was in knots and his feet tapped anxiously.

Their blessing or disapproval made little difference, he was still going to love her. Still going to marry her.

“I like her.” Byung-ho broke the silence. “She’s a little quirky but she’s really cool. And so smart. Might have do things little unconventionally, but who doesn’t have to adapt to make a relationship work? I’m happy for you.”

Ju ho bowed his head slightly and nodded. There were tears welling in his eyes. A smile tilted his lips.

Byung-ho had always been kind, honest and open to most things in life, so while his blessing wasn’t a surprise, it was much needed and welcome support.

“Appa? Eomma?” His voice cracked and he swallowed hard. His stomach turned and he wondered if this was what Youngwoo felt everyday.

If this was anything like her daily life, it was an incredible feat that she kept going. He could easily curl up in a ball and give up on life.

She was the most amazing person he had ever known.

“She’s different,” His Mother voice cut through the silence, “but we like her. She’s smart and sweet. She makes you happy. We can see it all over your face. We’re happy for you and if she is the person you want to marry, you have our blessing.”

The air left his lungs and the tears pooled in his eyes fell quickly. They liked her. They had given their blessing.

But there was something else. Something he saw in his father’s eyes. Something he didn’t think he was going to like.

“We are happy to learn more about Autism and support her in anyway we can when we are with her.” His father was calm, steady, sure of what he was saying and what he was going to say next. “We want you to he very sure about this, adeul. We are concerned loving her won’t be enough.”

Jun ho held in a breath. He knew there was a catch. There always was. Loving her was a concern. Always questionable.

“We know you want a family, children. We aren’t concerned with her ability to have them, just whether or not she wants them. She said that the world is more alive to her, louder, brighter, I can’t imagine children are a comfortable experience for her. Does she want them? If she doesn’t, are you alright with that?”

His father’s words echoed her father’s. And it was a truth he was trying not to deny but couldn’t bring himself to face.

“If she wants them are there tools available to help her with motherhood?” His mother wondered, soft eyes fixed on him.

They weren’t doing this to hurt him or discourage the relationship, they were doing it to prepare him. To keep his eyes open. Remind him that love was a lot, but not necessarily enough.

He didn’t know the answer and if he was honest with himself he hadn’t even thought of the matter.

“We don’t want you two to end up in over your heads. We also want you to think about one other thing.”

“Seung-hui reaction has been over the top, as usual. But it’s probably the correct reaction you will receive when people find out about the relationship. You will spend a lot of time defending and justifying your relationship. A lot of time dealing with ignorant or hostile people who don’t understand. It’s a lot to take in and our concern is that over time, you’ll grow to resent the relationship.”

“I know you love her. That your plan is to marry her. You are the happiest I’ve ever seen you. We just want you to understand how hard this will be.”

Her tone was soft, pleading. He was happy. And she wanted him to be. But loving Youngwoo was going to be a struggle that was likely to be more than he could bare.

Jun ho felt lightheaded. Sick. Dizzy from the thoughts and words barreling through his mind. He understood the truth in their words.

Loving her was already hard. Already a little lonely and isolating. Loving her was also the happiest he’d ever been. The happiest he would ever be.

She was all he wanted and was all he’d ever want. But there were aspects of their future that needed to be addressed, things that couldn’t be avoided.

None of it would change his feelings. None of it would change his need to be with her forever.

Would it? Could it? Was loving her truly enough?

It had to be.

Chapter Text

“You don’t have to do this. Jun ho is bringing your Gimbap.” Su Yeon reminded her. “Double dates night we order in anyway.”

Double Date nights were a fornightly tradition, started when Su-Yeon and Min-woo had officially started seeing each other a couple months earlier.

They were taking the relationship slow and found a night in, with Jun ho and Youngwoo, to be exactly what they needed. The unconventional date nights with their friends offered a lot of fun, laughs and not a lot of pressure.

“Part of being independent and a real adult is being able to prepare your own meals. I can’t expect a host to make me Gimbap and it’s not fiscally wise to always buy my own.”

Min-woo shook his head. “Seung-hui was wrong to say that. You shouldn’t push yourself to do or eat anything you don’t want. Jun ho is happy to make sure you always have Gimbap.”

She was adamant that this needed to happen. It was something that she should have started sooner. She was no longer a child. And she no longer spent all her time at home or Hairy’s Pub, where someone could easily make Gimbap for her.

Seung-hui had been rude, but untimely she was correct.

“I need to learn to be more independent and try to take myself out of my comfort zone.”

Her father had tried years ago to expand her palette. To take her out and try to help her be more social. He was ill equipped for the task and she wasn’t willing to try, so there had been no success.

Even through University and Law school she hadn’t attempted to grow or develop herself. There had been no reason to, everyone gave in.

Gave her want she wanted.

If she wanted to build her own life, gain her independence and a future with Jun ho, she would have to continue to try new things, challenge herself.

Within reason.

She was a full time attorney, with a boyfriend and a social life. She had conquered the revolving door and she could almost twist off the tops of her water bottles.

Surely she could manage to make noodles for herself?

“Do you even want to eat Ramyeon?” Su-Yeon wondered.

Youngwoo was quiet as she considered her answer. Did she want to eat Ramyeon? No. She wanted Gimbap. Was she going to make and try to eat Ramyeon? Yes.

“Whales mostly prefer to eat Krill. But they will eat a school of fish if the opportunity or need presents itself.”

“So Ramyeon is your school of fish?” Su-Yeon mused and nodded her understanding. “Lets eat a school of fish then.” She motioned to the stove and the Ramyeon waiting for them.

Jun ho arrived home not long after, eyes wide as he took in the sight before him.

Min-woo was setting out the plates and side dishes while Su-Yeon stood next to Youngwoo at the stove.

“What’s going on?”

“We are eating a school of fish,” Su-Yeon said and Min-woo snickered from the table.

Who would have ever thought Youngwoo and her strange and random Whale facts would become such a big part of his life. And that he would begin to enjoy it.

“Whales mostly prefer to eat Krill, but they will eat a passing school of fish given the opportunity or need,” Youngwoo advised, eyes never leaving her pot of Ramyeon. “I prefer to eat Gimbap, but am taking the opportunity to prepare Ramyeon.”

Jun ho was confused. In all the time he’d known her, she had never chosen to eat anything other than Gimbap.

And now she was cooking?

“Adults know how to cook their own meals, and I would like to be more independent. Always stopping to buy Gimbap is not cost effective. And it’s not right to expect a host to make me some.”

Jun ho regarded her with wide eyes and a proud smile.

She’d figured out the revolving door. She was so close to being able to open her own water bottles and now she was cooking and wanting to try to eat something other Gimbap.

Do you really believe that she is capable of being a wife and mother?

Her fathers words pounded in his ears and his parents worries ate at his heart. But he said nothing. How could he sit her down and speak of marriage of children, when he hadn’t even properly told her he loved her?

This was progress. This was growth.

Everyday she proved just how extraordinary she was. Everyday she proved the world wrong, proved herself wrong.

She was already becoming someone no one had believed she would be.

Maybe all those things her father worried about, his parents worried about, weren’t the insurmountable issues they believed them to be.

Maybe.

Chapter Text

Walking her home was his favorite part of the day. It was probably his favorite time with her.

Just the two of them. Away from work. Away from judging eyes and whispers. They talk would about Whales if she wanted, though she was getting better and better at small talk.

And it was getting harder and harder to say goodbye at the end of the night.

She no longer checked to see if her father was in view before they kissed goodnight. She was almost 28 years old and if she chose to kiss her boyfriend on her front stoop, she could.

Her father wouldn’t approve of this kiss, she thought fleetingly as Jun ho’s tongue slipped between her lips.

Guerami advice to tilt her head back, had opened a wave of passion either she nor Jun ho had been expecting.

Their kiss grew frantic. Hands gripped at her waist, body pressed hard against his.

“Do you want…” She breathed against his lips, or at least she tried, her thoughts turning blank as his hands slid along her ribs. “come inside?”

Do you want to come inside and do some of the things on my list?

He steadied himself with a hard breath into her open mouth and moved to slowly peel away from her.

He didn’t even need to go inside.

The wall behind them would work just fine.

“I think your Appa would probably punch me if we did any of the things on your list in his house.” He voice was rough and strangled and his breathing still labored.

The wall was so tempting.

“Ah right.” If only she lived by herself, they could choose from the list right now.

“We don’t have to rush anything,” Jun ho reminded her. He would remind her every time the subject came up, that she never had to do anything she didn’t want to do or feel comfortable doing.

He was content just kissing her if that’s as far as they ever got.

Her list was amazing, though and there were things on it he hadn’t even dreamed about, yet.

Guerami and Su-Yeon had helped her with it. He would have to thank them later.

“I want to do….things.” She wasn’t sure which things yet. She wouldn’t know what she was comfortable with until they tried, but she was ready to try.

“Min-woo will be out on Saturday night. We can look through your list then.”

Wide eyes stared up at him. How was this real? How was he real?

“Ladies choice.” He dropped a kiss on her lips and pulled away. “We better say goodnight.”

If he didn’t walk away now, he wasn’t going to be able to.

He loved her. He wanted her. And despite all the questions, worries and concerns about their future, he still wanted her for the rest of his life.

Chapter Text

The list was typed. It was organized with sections and bullet points.

It was part Su-Yeon. Part Guerami. And part research Youngwoo had complied.

And it made even his cheeks pink.

“Su-Yeon and Guerami really went into detail. And your research is…comprehensive.”

They were sitting on the couch in his apartment, having finished dinner. They were midway through the newest Whale documentary, when she suggested they get her list.

“I knew the basic biological process of sex but I had no idea what kinds of things were involved in foreplay. There is a lot to try.”

Four pages. There was four pages, one sided, of things they could try before actually having sex.

“None of this has to be rushed. We can take our time.”

Nothing had to happen now. Nothing ever had to happen. He understood before they had even begun dating that intimacy and physical acts of love might be out of the question.

He loved her regardless and anything extra that came along would only make him love her more.

“We can take our time,” She repeated but her eyes never left her list. “I don’t want to take time. I’d like to try something from this list tonight.”

He watched with wide eyes as she flipped through a few pages before deciding she wanted to stop.

“This sounds interesting.”

Interesting? Shit. He was going to die before they even got to actually trying something.

He swallowed hard and blinked at the words she was pointing to. “That’s…I think…maybe we need to ease into that one. We should probably start at the beginning. Make sure you're comfortable.”

“Start at the beginning,” She repeated hands busy as she flipped back to the first pages. “Touching. We will start with touching. Geurami explained that we can touch dressed or undressed.”

“Touching is hard for you,” He reminded her. She had to be sure.

“It’s not so bad when you touch me.” She looked up at him then, eyes wide and telling.

I like when you touch me.

Jun ho gulped in a shaky breath and nodded. “Okay. We can start with touching. You take the lead okay? Tell me what you want. What you like and don’t like.”

“I don’t know what I will and won’t like. We can figure it out together.”

She was amazing. She was incredible. And she was irresistible.

“Should we go to my room? It’ll probably be more comfortable.” The words shook as he said them and his breath caught high in his throat.

“We should. I don’t think it would be appropriate if Min-woo came in and saw my bra. I don’t think he’d enjoy seeing you shirtless either.”

Her bra. She was going to take off her shirt? He was going to take off his shirt? What exactly did she have planned for their touching?

She was trying to kill him. He was sure of it. But he would go the happiest he had ever been.

“Jun hossi…”

She was standing in front of him, looking down at him with wide eyes and a nervous smile.

For a woman who didn’t like to be touched and had never been touched before, she seemed to know exactly what she was doing.

What she was doing to him.

“It’s your lead jagiya. You tell me exactly what you want and don’t want. If you want to stop, all you have to do is tell me.”

He was standing next to her, eyes blazing down into hers. She was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. And she was his. He was going to have the honor of being the first, and only, man to ever touch her.

See her bra.

How had he gotten so lucky?

The walk to his room was only a few seconds but he wanted to lead her there, hand in hand.

Whatever happened, he didn’t care. Every second with her was a blessing and he was going to make the most of it.

Chapter Text

“Are you okay?” Jun ho struggled to get the words out, to focus on anything other than the fact that she was in his bed, half naked -bra still on from the waist up.

The list didn’t have them shirtless for this first exploration and instead seemed to be her own addition.

Guerami had told her to rip the bandage off. Go big or go home. Why bother touching and exploring each other’s bodies if you did it clothed?

It made sense and she desperately wanted to see Jun ho’s body. If his arms were indication, she had a lot to look forward too.

She was on her back and he was laying next to her on his side, her body pushed in tight against his.

It was no surprise she was a natural and had little fear when it came to the technicalities of what need to be done.

She had removed his shirt with surprisingly nimble fingers.

He had the privilege of removing her shirt and he was the nervous one. Fingers trembling over each button. You would have thought he was the virgin.

Her bra was lavender and clasped in the front.

Su-Yeon had convinced her to buy it, a matching set.

Hopefully one day he would be lucky enough see the other half.

The bed seemed the most comfortable place to be, though hindsight probably would have shown them both, that while it was the most comfortable, it also added unnecessary anxiety.

“I’m fine.” She assured him, despite the fact that her arms were folded over her chest.

“Do Whales engage in foreplay?”

To anyone else it would be the end of the night. A mood killer to kill all moods. But she wasn’t anyone else and this was the best way he could think to begin to reduce her nervousness.

“Oh no, not all,” She looked up at him and her eyes were wide, and filled with gratitude. He was distracting her. Focusing her mind on anything else. “They don’t care about foreplay and what happens before. They only care about having sex.”

He nodded and slowly moved his hand, letting his open palm come to rest just above her belly button. “That’s unfortunate. They miss out on the best part.”

Her skin burned and sparked under his touch. This wasn’t like when someone hugged her or when tried to shake her hand.

Her eyes fluttered and her back lifted slightly, leaning into his hand. “Whale sex only lasts a minute or so.”

“No foreplay and things are over so quickly,” He was sliding his hand along her stomach, fingers gliding barely there over her ribs and up near the underside of her bra. “I’m glad we’re not Whales.”

Her eyes closed now and her chest heaved toward his hand. Touch had always been something she hated. Something that made her so uncomfortable, she did her best to avoid it at all costs.

She couldn’t explain this. How his touch was the exact opposite. How it felt like her body was more alive than it had ever been. How was it that she wanted his hands, his fingers to keep touching her?

He paused his palm just over the curve of her breast. “Jagiya?”

“Keep doing that and can you kiss me?”

For the rest their lives!

He moved his hand and leaned in to kiss her.

How was she his? How was he so lucky?

Kissing she enjoyed. Touching she liked. What else would she like? Her mind went blank when his tongue parted her lips.

He was just about to shift his weight on top of her, when they heard Min-woo looking for them from the living room.

Why was he home so early?

“It’s lucky we are in here. He would have seen my bra after all.”

Jun ho laughed into her mouth, and reluctantly broke their kiss.

It was probably for the best. Things were likely to have moved faster than either of them were prepared for.

“We still have time to finish the documentary, if you’d like.”

She’d like to stay and keep kissing and touching.

It was probably for the best that they stopped. If she pushed herself to far and triggered an sensory overload, it may take days or weeks before she could feel comfortable again.

“I want to see the end,” She nodded. "But I really like touching too. Maybe we could do it again soon?”

Would tomorrow be to soon?

They should probably move, sit up, definitely get dressed. But they seemed quite content where they were.

“It’s Sunday tomorrow. Still the weekend. I could come over.”

Or just not go home?

At this rate they would go through her list by the end of the week.

Chapter Text

"If you had to choose, which one would you choose?”

“Choose between Sampal, Chunsam and Boksun? I could never.”

Su-Yeon had once asked if he was going to listen to Youngwoo talk about Whales and Dolphins forever? Like it was some sort of punishment.

Did they not see her smile? See the joy in her eyes? He would happily listen forever.

There hadn’t been much Whale or Dolphin talk in the last few weeks and he was incredibly grateful normal was returning.

The news of Tae Su Mi being her birth mother broke on a Tuesday morning. The press was camped outside Hanbada in a matter of minutes.

CEO Han and Attorney Jung advised of extra cars kept in the car park at the south end of the building. They could take her down the back way and use an extra car to escape.

The days that followed were a circus of reporters, questions from the Hanbada Board, and even accusations from their colleagues.

By Friday the entire thing had died down to a whisper. It wasn’t a story that could stay front page fodder without Attorney Tae running for minister.

Things were relatively calm the following Monday. And life was returning to normal by the Tuesday.

Youngwoo had confessed all to him in the car on their way back from the National Assembly.

She looked like her, Tae Su-Mi. And she was a brilliant lawyer like her, but that was where the similarities stopped.

Tae Su-Mi had made no attempt to reach out to Youngwoo and Youngwoo had done the same.

“I think Sampal.”

“Why Sampal?” She wondered. She was holding his hand as they walked, they were exactly fifty seven seconds from her house.

Holding his had gotten much easier the further they got into her list.

Page three was proving to be the most fun yet! And while she still struggled with nerves before they tried something new, touching, kissing and exploring each other was so enjoyable she struggled to go slow.

Jun ho’s answer was on the tip of his tongue when they noticed her Appa waiting outside for them.

He had figured out what they were up to when they went to his place? He was going to yell? Maybe hit him?

“Appa?” Youngwoo questioned as they approached.

Gwang-ho’s eyes met Jun ho's, despite his words being directed at Youngwoo. “Would you go inside and make us some tea?”

“Go inside and make tea,” She repeated nervously, fingers ticking at her side.

Something was wrong. Appa never waited for them. Appa never invited Jun ho inside.

“It’s alright,” Gwang-ho tried to soothe, “I just need to have a talk with Jun ho and then we will join you.”

Jun ho flashed her a soft smile and nodded. It was alright. Listen to her Appa.

“Go inside and make tea.”

They heard her repeating as she made her way inside. It was wrong to worry her, spark her anxiety but he had no choice.

“What’s happened?” Jun ho asked when they were sure she’d gone inside.

Gwang-ho removed a DVD from his pocket. “This came from Tae Su-mi a few hours ago.”

“She doesn’t want to work at Taesan. Why keep this up?”

“This isn’t from Taesan. This is from Su-mi. One of her personal staff dropped it off.”

“Have you watched it?”

“It’s for Youngwoo. But I don’t want her to see it alone. I think we should be with her.”

We. The two men who loved her most in the world.

“I’d do anything for her.”

And he would.

Anything.

Chapter Text

“We don’t have to watch,” Jun ho reminded her as Gwang-ho nervously fidgeted with the remote.

She owed Tae Su-mi nothing. Even watching whatever it was they were about to watch was for more than she would ever deserve.

“If she took the time to bring this to me, I should see what’s on it.”

“We don’t know what this is. She’s hurt you enough.” Gwang-ho shook his head and flicked his eyes to the TV. He should have thrown the damn thing in the garbage and never told her it existed.

Youngwoo considered this. They didn’t know what was on the DVD, nor why she’d brought it.

Tae Su-mi had never been unkind to her nor had she intentionally tried to hurt her.

“I would like to see what this and why she’s given it to me.”

Gwang-ho sighed and Jun ho focused on Youngwoo. “Your headphones are right here if you need,” He motioned to her left, “I’m going to stay right here and if you start to feel overwhelmed just take my hand and I’ll help you through it.”

The TV flicked on a few seconds later. Nothing came into focus at first, the static of what could only be from an old video camera.

Finally the screen came into focus.

The date was in the left hand corner, grainy but readable.

It was two days after her birth and it was very clear who was in the video and what was about to happen.

“Your father will back in just a few minutes, you need to say your goodbyes.” The words were hard to make out through the woman’s tears and the camera shook in her hands.

The camera panned down shakily, to the gorgeous baby laying peacefully in her mother’s arms.

“Eomeoni, please…” Su-mi cried, her words desperate and panicked. “I want to keep her.”

Her mother sobbed, and her body shook as she tried to focus the camera on Youngwoo. “You know the arrangement, we agreed.”

“She’s my daughter. Please.”

Tae Su-mi was on the screen before them, in emotional agony.

She had changed her mind. She had wanted to keep Youngwoo.

Jun ho’s eyes drifted between Youngwoo and Gwang-ho, both of whom were captivated by the images on the screen.

He was careful to study her reaction, watch for any sign she needed headphones or for the video to be stopped. He did notice some signs of her being anxious, hands at her chest, fingers ticking, eyes wide, body swaying slightly. He resisted saying anything or reaching for her headphones.

They had agreed she needed to learn to navigate moments like these herself, and that he would ne there to help if and when she needed him.

“She needs me.” Su-mi sobbed, eyes leaving the baby only long enough to notice her father at the door. “I’ll go with her. Let me go to Gwang-ho. We will leave Seoul. We will go overseas.”

Gwang-ho let out a gasp, and bit back tears he’d been holding in since the video began. She wanted them. She wanted a family.

“Abeoji….please…” She held Youngwoo to her chest, hoping her arms were strong enough to withstand. “Please,” She begged, keeping Youngwoo against her chest even as her father attempted to take her.

Her mother flanked the bed next to her, camera still in her hands. “It’s for the best. For everyone. Let her go.”

Youngwoo slipped from her arms. “Nooo. She’s my child.”

Her father moved away quickly, handing the baby off to a member of their staff.

Su-mi’s doctor made his way through the open door. “Calm down Su-mi. Calm down.”

Her mother held her as the doctor removed a syringe from his bag. “This sedative will help you rest.”

Gwang-ho shut off the video and stood up. He ran for the kitchen, gagging and wrenching over the sink.

Youngwoo starred at the blank screen, head tilted slightly as she struggled to process what she’d seen.

Jun ho watched her carefully, still seated next to her. Her breathing was speeding up and her fingers ticked rapidly. She was making a sound he recognized now, a soft hum, a prelude to an overloaded.

“Breathe jagiya,” He coaxed softly, “It’s okay. It’s okay.”

She was the strongest and bravest person he had ever known and he hated that she had to go through this.

But he would be her hug chair, hold her hand, breathe with her, for the rest of their lives.

It would be okay.

Chapter Text

Gwang-ho sat on the couch, eyes fixed on the blank TV screen.

They had done their best to calm Youngwoo, though he would be the first to admit Jun ho had been the one to take the lead.

This young man didn’t flinch at her ticks, her anxiety or her sensory overloads. He took control and soothed her with words, breathing exercises and one of the tightest embraces he’d ever seen.

He’d raised her for almost twenty eight years and had never been able to properly hug her.

Jun ho cleared his throat from behind the couch. “She’s sleeping.”

Gwang-ho had allowed him to take her to her room, door kept ajar, of course. He’d helped her into her pajamas, and pulled back the blankets on her bed but she was still far to anxious to sleep.

Having never been in her room before, he used the opportunity to ask about the Whale decorations she had. The absolute best way to calm her would always be Whales or Dolphins.

When she was calmed enough to rest, he’d tucked her in, promising that she would be okay. That they would find a way through this.

Tomorrow on their walk to work they would talk about the contents of the video, and how she felt about Tae Su-mi.

Tonight though, he would let her rest.

And if her father approved, he would sleep on the couch to ensure he was there if she needed him.

He had already text Min-woo to bring him some clothes.

“Thank you,” Gwang-ho’s voice sounded small, far away. “In the nearly twenty eight years she’s been alive, I have never once been able to comfort her like you can.”

Jun ho was quiet as he took a seat opposite Gwang-ho. “I enjoy taking care of her. If there is something I can do to make the world a little easier for her, I’m happy to do it. Something like we saw tonight is hard for anyone to process, and I know that means she will need us even more.”

“You seem to relate to her on a level I never could. She told me you taught her how to go through the revolving doors. And that she’s close to being able open her own water bottles, thanks to you. Do you really believe this is something you can sustain for the rest of your life? Do you want too?”

He could. He would. He wanted too.

"Being with her is the happiest I’ve ever been.”

Gwang-ho was quiet as he studied Jun ho. “You love her and your being here through all of this, shows you want to marry her. I admire your determination and feelings for her. But love and happiness aren’t always enough. If they were, Su-mi would have spent the last twenty eight years here with me, with Youngwoo. Love and relationships are hard work and if you don’t lay the right foundation from the beginning, no matter how hard you love or how happy you are, it can still fail to be enough. Make sure your eyes are open and that you know exactly what you two want from the future.”

There it was again. The elephant in the room. The truth he’d been running from.

"Don’t look so worried,” Gwang-ho advised after a few moments of tense silence. “Youngwoo has never done anything by the book and just about everything she’s ever done, I was told she would never do. If you believe she can be a wife and mother and she believes she can, then I look forward to grandchildren. Just don’t push the relationship to far forward without knowing what you both want. Don’t let fear rob you of the rest of your life.”

Jun ho nodded as Gwang-ho got up and started past him. “I think it would be a good idea if you stayed on the couch tonight. You are her hug chair after all.”

Jun ho winced through an embarrassed smile. “She told you that?”

“Doesn’t tell me much, but that had her smiling for days, so I finally pried it out of her. I’ll get you some blankets."

Jun ho sat still and quiet when Gwang-ho left the room

Don’t let fear rob you of the rest of your life.

When things settled, when she has processed her feelings and future wants from Tae Su-mi, they would sit and talk.

When things settled.

Chapter Text

Don’t let fear rob you of the rest of your life.

Does she want kids? Are there tools to help her if she does?

Do you think this can be sustained for the rest of your life?

He turned on the couch yet again. It was just after 2am and he hadn’t slept yet.

His mind was spinning. Her fathers words, his parents words, his own fears rolling through his mind.

Even Tae Su-mi and the life alerting contents of the video were haunting him.

It was easy when they believed she’d abandoned Youngwoo, walked away without caring. But this? This changed everything. Her child had been ripped from her arms.

He let out a sigh and finally got up, his need to be near her to much to bare.

Big, complex emotions were still so hard for her to process. Anything above cat analogies and slow, thorough explanations, saw her run. Mentally or physically. And this would be no different.

They would need to tread lightly.

Slowly.

Her door was still ajar when he got to it, and a small patch of light drifted out.

She was awake?

He opened the door slowly, stopping just inside.

She was sat on her bed, profile facing him. The rise and fall of her chest a clear indication she was crying.

Hard and fast. Her hands were clasped at her chest and her fingers ticked rapidly.

“Jagiya…” His voice was soft, slow as not to startle her. He crossed the distance to her cautiously but purposely.

“Hey. Hey. It’s okay.” He sat next to but opposite her, so he could look into her eyes. “Don't cry.”

He brushed away her tears and slid in closer to her. He’d never seen her cry actual tears.

“She wanted to keep me,” Her voice was raw and soaked in pain. “They pried me from her arms.”

“I know. She loved you. What they did to her was terrible.”

“She didn’t come after me.”

The truth was hard to face, but she was right. Su-mi hadn’t come for her.

Twenty seven years she had stayed away.

Was she to frightened to return? To ashamed? Did she like her life to much? Had she decided it was all worth it after all?

Jun ho regarded her quietly. He sat close, but didn’t touch or attempt any physical comfort. He couldn’t risk her running from this, not when she was this far open to such intense feelings.

“She had to give you up to get the life her parents set our for her. If she came back for you, it would have meant she lost everything. That she lost you and got nothing in return.”

“Mother Whales fight to the death to protect their calves. They would rather die before leaving their baby behind. If I were a Whale I would have a mother.”

She was gasping through tears, her breathing fast and strangled.

Had she ever cried before? Real tears? Had she ever felt this type of pain?

Neither of them were sure.

“If she was a Whale and she had died protecting you, the end result would have been exactly the same. Both of you would have been without each other. She was young and scared. She did the best she could.”

“If I could have children, I would be a mother Whale. I would never let anyone take my child. And if they did, I would go back and get them.”

If she could have children?

“You can have children, jagiya. You would be an amazing mother. You are already thinking like one.”

She sounded like a mother. Like a woman who would love her children with all she had.

“Autism doesn’t favor having children and parenthood. Children often facilitate overloads and meltdowns, they are messy, loud and unpredictable. A mother must be able put her child and the needs of that child ahead of herself, Autistic woman are not likely to be able to do so.”

Once... she researched it once.

After their first kiss.

“Can Autistic women have children?”

Could they bare children? Yes.

Should they? Her research said no.

“I can’t have them and Su-mi could but let me go.”

She was crying again. Tears falling unabashed and uncontrolled.

Words escaped Jun ho momentarily, as he worked to process the entirety of their conversation.

They would need to continue this conversation, even if he didn’t like what the outcome would be.

For now, he would focus on her. On the distress she was in and how he could help calm her.

“You don’t have to do this now, you don’t have to work through all of this at two in the morning. Su-mi isn’t worth losing sleep over.”

Was this an appropriate time to tell her that he loved her? That he always would?

“Why don’t you tell me more about Mother Whales. About the babies. Their births.”

His hands clasped hers tightly and he coached as she talked. One slow breath in, one slow breath out.

She told him about Mother Whales and their calves and he coached her breathing. And slowly, he felt her finger ticking slow. Her voice became clearer and her breathing began to level.

“Go back to sleep,” He soothed after a few minutes had passed and she’d eased into a comfortable breathing pattern. “Rest jagiya. We can talk about all of this tomorrow.”

He smoothed her pillows and covered her with her blankets. Reached for her eye mask and asked where her headphones were, when she stopped him.

Her hand in his.

“Will you…can you…stay here?”

In bed. Here. With me. Sleep next to me.

He climbed in next to her.

The bed was to small for both of them and probably wouldn’t be very comfortable. But he would stay with her.

Forever if that’s what she wanted.
--------------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gwang-ho could see the sun rising through his bedroom window.

It was already sunrise? When had he woken?

Had he even slept?

Had Youngwoo? He should check on her.

This was unlikely anything she’d ever been through and he worried how she would handle it.

Her room wasn’t far away, but took him through the living area, where one Lee Jun ho was to be sleeping on his couch.

One Lee Jun ho was not on his couch.

It didn’t take him long to figure out where their house guest had gone.

His intention was to bang on the door interrupt them before barging in.

The door was ajar when he got there and all he had to do was nudge it a little further to see them.

Asleep in her bed. Both fully clothed.

Jun ho’s leg hung off the side, the single bed clearly to small for two of them.

Youngwoo was beside him on her side, head curled in just slightly so it rested near Jun ho’s shoulder.

Never in her entire life had Youngwoo ever slept on her side. Never. She slept on her back. From the day she was dropped off until a few mornings ago when her alarm didn’t go off and he had to wake her.

Yet here she was, curled up next to this young man, who loved her so much he was willingly to give up his future family for her.

He slowly closed the door, forehead resting against it.

Maybe they would make it? Maybe they could find away to make love be enough. Maybe loving her wouldn’t be to hard or lonely for Lee Jun ho.

Maybe.

Chapter Text

“Are you nervous?” Su-Yeon wondered.

Their once a month shopping trip had taken on a new importance this month, finding the perfect lingerie for Youngwoo to wear when she and Ju ho finally finished the list.

“Nervous? Should I be nervous?”

Should she be nervous? They were already very familiar with each other’s bodies. And they had done and tried so many things, that actually having sex seemed like a formality.

“Your first time can be a little scary. I was nervous.”

“My list was very thorough. I made sure that anything that might make me anxious has already been done. I feel relaxed.”

Su-Yeon nodded laughing at the entire conversation. If someone in law school had told her, she and Youngwoo would be friends, on monthly shopping dates, and helping each other choose underwear to seduce their boyfriends in, she would have told them where they could shove it.

Now though, it felt right and if she was honest, she enjoyed Youngwoo’s company

“Do I need to buy new underwear every time we have sex? I imagine that would get quite expensive.”

She didn’t want anymore underwear. The last set Su-Yeon had chosen felt like it was all labels and it took everything she had to keep it on.

“Only on special occasions,” Su-Yeon laughed. “I’m glad you and Jun ho worked things out. You’re good together.”

“We’re good together,” She repeated.

Appa said the same thing, and even though Jun ho hadn’t asked, yet, he had already given her his blessing.

Her phone rang before she could reply. She saw the name and swiped quickly to reject.

“Are you just never going to talk to her?”

“My father and Jun ho say I owe her nothing. She’s never done anything for me and I shouldn’t let her try to manipulate my emotions.”

“They aren’t wrong. But you said you have questions about why she didn’t come back for you, why she stayed away. The only one who can answer those questions, who can bring you any peace is Attorney Tae.”

Guerami had told her something similar. And rationally she knew that she would never truly find peace until she had some answers.

“I don’t want to talk about her anymore.”

“Alright well at least think about it. Come on, this shop will have exactly what you want.”

“I can feel the labels just looking at everything…” She shivered at the thought and stopped at the entrance.

Why did it matter what was under her clothes anyway?

Jun ho was just going to remove them.

Su-Yeon tugged her through the entrance rambling about colors and fabrics. Holding up barely there pieces of fabrics that made her itch just looking at.

She would complain all night to Su-Yeon and rant about being forced to continue mindlessly shopping, but she didn’t actually mind.

Before she met Guerami she had never had any friends.

Now she had two friends.

And a boyfriend.

And…

“Blue you look great in blue…try this one on. Come on!”

Fulfillment didn’t seem a strong enough word any longer.

Chapter Text

“The way your fliting around here, you’d think you’re the virgin,” Min-woo teased, tossing his bag on the table.

“She is,” Jun ho reminded him. “I want everything to be perfect.”

“Su-Yeon told me what’s on that list, sex is just a technicality at this point.”

He wasn’t wrong. Her list was very thorough and the only thing left for them to do was actually have sex.

“I still want it to be prefect. She deserves it.”

“You act like you’ve never been in love before.”

He hadn’t ever been in love before her. He could say that without a doubt now. He thought he had been in love before, thought once he might want to marry her, but in the end it was only admiration and fear of being alone.

He had never felt, this, before and he never would feel if again.

“No I haven’t."

Min-woo raised a curious eyebrow at him and nodded. “Oh well, no pressure then."

Jun ho knew he was joking, but he didn’t laugh or smile. He had no idea how much pressure he was putting on himself.

She deserved more than even he could ever give her.

“You’re still worrying about what her Abeoji said, what your parents said and Youngwoo saying she can’t have kids. Why haven’t you just talked to her about all of this?”

“After the month she’s had? I can’t do that to her.”

Min-woo shook his head. What was he actually worried about? “What’s actually bothering you? If she doesn’t want kids, is that the deal breaker?”

Jun ho blinked and swallowed back a hard breath. Was it a deal breaker?

“The way you tell it, you fell for her that very first day at the revolving door. We both know what you were like without her when she broke up with you. If she told you tomorrow that she doesn’t want kids, would you stop loving her? Could you be with someone else just because you want kids?”

“I don’t…I hadn’t…” He hadn’t thought of any of this. He had been so lost in worry about what her answer might be, that he didn’t even know his own.

“You should probably think about it all before you bring it to her.”

“I love her. I want to be with her. I keep trying to see my life without her. And I can’t. But I want a family. I always have.”

The truth almost burned as it finally crossed his lips, but the relief in his hard was worth the pain.

Min-woo offered him a comforting pat on the back. “Look, just…turn your brain off tonight. Be with her. Love her. You both have been through so much. Just live in the moment and deal with everything tomorrow.”

Jun ho exhaled a hard breath before offering Min-woo a grateful smile. “Thank you. And please don’t come home tonight.”

“Place is all yours,” Min-woo laughed and grabbed his bag. “Don’t think. Just be with her.”

He was out the door a few seconds later, and Jun ho was left with only his thoughts.

He loved her. He always would. He always had.

They had come so far since that first date.

They deserved this.

He steadied himself with a few deep breaths.

Tonight they would live in the moment.

Tomorrow they would deal with the rest of their lives.

Chapter Text

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?”

Friday’s after work he usually walked her to Hairy’s Pub so she could spend time with Guerami.

This Friday he was walking her two extra blocks to her favorite Gimbap restaurant.

Meeting Tae Su-mi was something both he and her father had tried to talk her out of. Something they both felt could only make her heartache even greater.

“I need to know. I have a lot of questions that only she can answer. I want to move on, move forward. This is something I need to do alone.”

No one could do this with her or for her. This was her truth to know and her questions to have answers.

Tae Su-mi had sent her the video for a purpose, for the truth to be revealed, but there was no manual for what happened after.

Were things meant to stay the same?

Was she meant to suddenly forget the anger, pain and resisentment and form a relationship?

Was she meant to finally have a mother?

Su-mi may have changed her mind, but she didn’t come for her. She didn’t seek her out.

“I’m sorry that you have to go through this. But please remember that you don’t have to do anything other than listen to her.”

“I wanted my Mother my whole life, and after my halmeoni told me she was actually alive, I thought surely she would come for me. How could she not?”

Her hand squeezed his tightly, her head bowed slightly and she squeezed back her tears.

Su-mi didn’t deserve her tears.

Jun ho stopped them, there in the middle of the pavement a few meters from the restaurant. “Jagiya…”

She looked up at them then, a slight smile tilting her lips. “Ninety one seconds.” She motioned to their still joined hands, determined to change the subject.

This was a new record.

Though she expected they would break it soon. Holding his hand was getting easier and easier since they had completed, and continued to complete the list.

“We have come along away from twenty seven seconds.” He used his other hand to brush away an errant tear. “Whatever you want or don’t want to happen with Tae Su-mi, it’s your choice.”

“I’m not familiar with this social convention. Is Whale talk appropriate when speaking to the woman who gave birth to you?”

She’d given the Narwhal analogy as a quick and easy way to summarize her life. She hadn’t planned to talk about Whales. But the analogy seemed to fit and succinctly made her point.

Jun ho laughed adoringly. She was incredible. “If you want to talk about Whales, talk about Whales. It’ll help you stay calm and ease your anxiety.”

She nodded, still unsure. “This entire thing makes me anxious.”

“I can still stay with you or come walk you home afterwards.”

“No. No. I need to do this myself and afterwards, I’d like some time to process my feelings. It’s much better for my anxiety if I don’t let things sit.”

“Probably better if I keep my distance from your Appa for a little longer anyway.”

He’d found out, how they weren’t sure, perhaps just parents intuition…or the smile Su-Yeon said Youngwoo walked around with for days…that they had sex.

They had spent the longest ten minutes of their lives listening to her Appa talk about safe sex and birth control.

Youngwoo pointing out early on that if her father had followed his own advice, she wouldn’t exist, had naturally made an already awkward conversation that much harder to bare.

If that were possible.

The result had been a stern warning to Jun ho that if she got pregnant before they were married, he would make his life a fate worse than death.

She laughed and her cheeks pinked, eyes falling away from his face. “He had no right to lecture us when he didn’t use protection and we are consenting adults.”

“He’s just a normal Dad worrying about his daughter. Still glad I don’t have to see him for a few more days.”

“I am very happy I will miss dinner with your sister.”

He was grateful as well.

She had accompanied Jung-nam to Seoul while he was on business and had requested Jun ho meet her for dinner.

“She’ll come around.”

Maybe someday? Once they were married?

“Even Tae Su-mi scares me less.”

They both laughed and she leaned in to him. It was a quick but tight embrace.

To outsiders it would appear awkward and first date like. The significance of her seeking a hug, no matter how quick, lost to all but them.

“Call me when you’re ready. And if you do feel like you need me, I’m only a few blocks away.”

He kissed her slowly, softly. His hands at her back as he pressed her close.

Sometimes she still couldn’t believe that this was her life.

That a Beluga loved a Narwhal and she was that Narwhal.

“I better go...”She finally managed to tear herself from his arms.

She left quickly, tossing him a nervous glance over her shoulder.

Tae Su-Mi didn’t deserve her or even the time of day, yet, Youngwoo was willing to give it her.

For both of their sakes.

He hoped one day everyone who met her would understand just how extraordinary she was.

Chapter Text

Her pause in the doorway was longer this time.

Her Appa and Jun ho were correct, she didn’t have to do this.

But she wanted too. Needed too.

With a deep breath and a final three count, she crossed into the restaurant.

Tae Su-mi sat not far from the door, and saw her instantly.

Her smile was soft, inviting and so strikingly like her own that it made it breath catch.

Sang-hyeon had told her once how much of their mother he saw in her. And that he wondered how more people didn’t see it.

She bowed the second she arrived at the table, and then slid into her chair without saying a word.

What did she start with? How did she even broach this subject?

Why did you abandon me even though you wanted to keep me?

There was already tea and food on the table.

Gimbap?

Her favorite Gimbap. She looked across the table, confused.

“Educated guess,” Su-mi offered. “It’s your brothers favorite as well. I lived off of it while I was pregnant with you. When Sang-hyeon said Gimbap was your favorite, it wasn’t hard to guess what you liked in it.” She kept her voice level, tone steady. Though her eyes betrayed her, revealing the conflict in her heart.

Youngwoo regarded the revaluation quietly. The assumption had always been that it was simply her Autism that fuelled her love of Gimbap, and now it seemed that was only part of it. “Eating Gimbap prepared this way would have offered very good nutritional value for a developing fetus.”

The young woman sat before her hadn’t spoken until she was five, and now she was an extraordinary mind, who was doing everything she was told she never would.

Su-mi nodded. How had she failed to recognize Youngwoo as her daughter? The resemblance was glaring. “Thank you for agreeing to meet me. I know you must have a lot of questions.”

Her fingers ticked at her side and she tried desperately to remember the breathing exercises she and Jun ho were working on. She hadn’t even been sat for five minute and she wondered if this was to much to bare.

“I’m happy to answer anything and all of them.”

“Why did you send me the video?”

Su-mi blew out a hard breath and eyed her daughter. She admired Youngwoo’s bluntness in the courtroom, but outside it was quite intimidating. “The press...they were publishing those articles about how I didn’t want you. How I was to selfish and career driven to be a mother. I figure your father told you something similar. I just wanted you to know that wasn’t the whole truth. I wanted you. I loved you.”

If I had been stronger, I would have never let you go.

Youngwoo blinked back stubborn tears and nodded. “You didn’t come after me, when I was a baby or ever.”

She hadn’t been expecting the truth to be laid bare quite so quickly. Quite so succinctly. Youngwoo certainly didn’t mince her words.

“I did,” Su-mi finally said, words shaking as they tripped up her throat. She was blinking back tears now, her own hands trembling against the tea glass she held. “Those first two weeks after you were born, I would sneak out after everyone was asleep. I’d walk to your father’s apartment and I’d look at the window, hoping I might catch a glimpse of you. Some nights I thought about knocking. One night I did. But I ran before your father could get to the door.”

Their were tears on her cheeks and her words were choked. She’d never spoken of these moments.

Of the desperation and regret she’d felt.

“One night when I arrived I realized that you and your father had moved. I sat on the curb for hours, crying, and being angry. He’d promised to disappear with you and he had.”

They had moved to the apartment owned my Ms. Choi and Mr. Park. It was closer to her jobumonim, and Ms. Choi was also there to help.

Youngwoo struggled keep her tears at bay. Struggled to keep her fingers from ticking uncontrollably. She tried to hear Jun ho’s voice in her head, counting through deep breaths while she fought to slow the rise and fall of her chest. Why had she thought this was a good idea? That she could bare it?

“That was twenty seven years ago.”

Her daughter certainly had a way with words. “By the time I got a lead on where you might be...” She paused and took a deep breath.

This was the part of her truth she was dreading most. How could she make Youngwoo understand that the choices she made had nothing to do with her?

“Seven years passed. My career was just starting to take off. I was engaged and planning a wedding. My father was teaching me everything he knew in preparation for my taking over...I didn’t have space in my life for a child.”

Youngwoo swallowed a shaky breath, swiped at a few errant tears and motioned for Su-mi to continue. She’d asked for the truth and she wanted to hear it. All of it.

“I liked my life. I liked my career. I initially wanted to forget it all and be your Mother. Once I had everything I was meant to have when I gave you up, I wanted to keep it. I’m sorry I know how this must sound...”

“It sounds honest. You gave me up so you could reach your full potential, and that’s what you’ve done. When you walked into the courtroom that first time, they called you “King”. And listening to you make your argument...I understood why they called you that. I went home and researched you. I wanted to be just like you...”

Youngwoo paused to look at her Mother, really see her. See the emotions in her eyes. This wasn’t the first time she’d seen regret and heartache, but it was the first time she’d seen love.

“You couldn’t have accomplished what you have if you would have had to raise me.”

Su-mi gasped out a cry, tears spilling. This extraordinary young woman was her daughter. “Your brother was raised mostly by nanny’s and the house help. It’s another regret of my life. Your father did an incredible job with you.”

“Loving me is hard and I didn’t do anything to help make things easier for Appa, but he never gave up on me.”

She owed her father so much. So much more than she had ever realized.

“I’m sure you won’t make the same mistakes when you become a mother.”

Chapter Text

“I can’t have children. But if I could I would be like a mother Whale and never let anyone take my child.”

No one and nothing would make her give up her child. No law firm was worth a child growing up without a mother.

Su-mi steadied herself and brushed away a few tears, eyes set on Youngwoo.

Was there something that made Autistic women unable to bare children? “You can’t bare children? I wasn’t aware that was something connected to Autism?”

“Well I suppose there is no reason to believe I can’t bare them. I’ve researched the answer to this question and the expert opinions say that I shouldn’t have them.”

“The experts have said you shouldn’t and wouldn’t do a lot of things that you have gone on to do. If you want to have children, why wouldn’t you be able to?”

Want children?

All she had ever wanted growing up was her mother. Only her wildest dreams and sometimes in excited teenage chatter with Guerami, she hoped maybe someone, someday might like her.

Rationally she assumed she would die alone.

A boyfriend. A husband. Children. Those were things her Autism had convinced her she would never have.

Jun ho had mentioned the future. He planned to marry her. He believed she could be a wife.

But did he believe she could be a mother?

Did he want children?

Did she?

“When you have Autism you don’t dream about the same things as other women do. You don’t dream of boyfriends, husband, weddings. You just assume that you will be alone. That no one will ever want you, let alone love you.”

Su-mi’s head tilted slightly and she leaned toward Youngwoo. “You can and should be loved. You are incredible, Youngwoo and you deserve to be happy. If you want to be married, have children....you deserve that too.”

She paused and took a steadying breath, the implications of the conversation flooding through her.

These talks. These moments. They were meant to come from a girl’s mother. A mother who was meant to teach her how to love, be loved.

These were meant to be late night chats, shopping day lessons and gossips.

These were things that a father, no matter how hard he tried, couldn’t adequately teach his daughter.

And she had walked away. Chosen her career over the incredible young woman who sat before her.

Youngwoo’s fingers ticked nervously, her breathing starting to speed up.

How could she know if she wanted to be a mother when she didn’t even know what that one looked like?

“Children are loud, messy and unpredictable. These are all things that trigger my anxiety. Autism also means that I tend to live in a world that consists of only myself, a child needs a mother who is capable of putting them first. I don’t know that I am capable of that.”

She already sounded like a mother. “You fear you would put yourself ahead of a child, yet here you are, already worrying about those things. Most women without Autism don’t consider these things before having children.”

“I don’t know what it’s like have a mother. How can I know if I want to be one?”

The words fell out hard, fast, in a rush of air that seemed to come from the depth of her lungs.

It was a truth she hadn’t wanted to acknowledge out loud, a truth she hadn’t wanted to drag into the light.

Su-mi closed her eyes, squeezing back a sudden wave of tears. She had expected a lot of questions, expected to atone for a lot of realities, but this one hit harder than the others.

“I didn’t want to be a mother. Children were never something I saw as part of my life. They would only hinder my pursuits at a highly successful law career. I still felt that way when I found out I was pregnant with you.”

She focused on Youngwoo, on her beautiful face. On her wide eyes. On all things that has stolen her heart the moment she first looked into them.

These things were always known to her heart. Always had been a part of her. How would she look herself in the mirror once she said them out loud?

A deep, slow breath and she felt ready. “That didn’t change my entire pregnancy. I was doing it because I loved your father, because I didn’t really want to terminate. I just told myself it would be over in nine months and I could move on. Even during my labor, I expected to hold you, say goodbye and hand you off to go to your father, without a second thought.”

Youngwoo fidgeted in her chair, fingers ticking rapidly as she tried to thumb away errant tears.

“And then they put you in my arms, I looked down into your little face, and your big beautiful eyes and I was lost. You were mine. I didn’t want to be a mother, I wanted to be your Mother. And I spent the next two days trying to convince my parents that I could be your Mother and a great Attorney and CEO.”

They were both crying now, tears hard and unabashed.

What the tables around them must think.

“Looking back, if I had truly believed that I could do both, I would have. I would have been a Mother Whale. But somewhere in my heart, I think I knew. For us both to be fulfilled, we needed to be apart. I wouldn’t have been a good mother to you. I would have wondered about my career, who I would have been. I probably would have resented you.”

How was Youngwoo baring this? How was she still sitting and listening?

Youngwoo wondered if this was how people felt when she was to honest, to blunt.

“You are very much like me. In the way you look. In your brilliant mind. In the courtroom. But I can already tell that you are nothing like me when it comes to children. You are already a Mother Whale. I hope that you dont choose not to have them simply because society tells you that you shouldn’t. You might not be a typical mother, but you would a great one. Don’t rule anything out just because you don’t fit the mold.”

Youngwoo bowed her head, letting her tears flow hard and uncontrolled.

She could be a Mother Whale if she wanted.

What if she wanted her Mother Whale?

What if it was to late? What if her Autism was to much?

Su-mi cleared her throat. “Why don’t we eat? I’ll order us some hot tea. If you have any further questions I’m happy to answer. Otherwise we can talk about something else. Maybe that handsome boyfriend of yours? Lee Jun ho isn’t it?”

Youngwoo looked up slowly, head tilted in confusion and blinking through tears.

Su-mi offered her a hesitant smile. “Your brothers...skills...can be used for a variety of things. Including a little reconosiense on the young man who loves your daughter."

A small smile tilted the edges of her lips. It was a wonderful idea and one she would have thought of.

They were so much alike.

“Perhaps you could bring him next time?” Su-mi sounded hesitant, but hopefully.

If there was a next time.

“Next time,” Youngwoo repeated, with a small smile.

She hoped there was a next time.

Chapter Text

He used to enjoy his time with Seung-hui.

As children they hadn’t been extremely close, but had found enjoyment in each other’s company as they entered adulthood.

Her opinion and advice had been important and valuable, more so than even what he got from Byung-ho.

Now though, he was dreading entering the restaurant.

Seung-hui had always been strong willed and opinionated. She had no problem voicing her thoughts and she very rarely changed her mind.

It was something he had admired about her.

Before. Before Youngwoo. Before her refusal to even try.

He sighed and shook his head before heading into the restaurant.

At least Youngwoo didn’t have to endure more of Seung-hui’s comments.

“Jun ho,” Seung-hui offered him a smile, and motioned for him to sit. “It’s good to see you. I’m glad you could join me.”

Jun ho nodded. His eyes darted around the table.

There was a third setting.

“Is Jung-nam joining us after all?”

He liked his brother-in-law and would welcome Seung-hui having a distraction from focusing their conversation on Youngwoo.

“Jung-nam is at a business dinner. I’ve asked Hayoon to join us. She is the younger sister of a good friend of mine.”

Jun ho eyes were wide, face twisted in realization. “Seung-hui...”

“She comes from a great family. Works a corporate job. She’s done dating and is ready to find a relationship that ends in marriage. She wants children.”

“I have a girlfriend.”

Who did she think she was?

Seung-hui sighed and shook her head at him. “Why are you doing this? Why do you insist on dragging this out?”

“I love her.”

He would shout it from the streets. From to rooftops. He would tell people they passed on the street.

“Jun ho, you have always been nice. You have always been kind and thoughtful of others. But this, you don’t shouldn’t be with her because you feel sorry for her.”

“Feel sorry for her? Why would I feel sorry for her? She’s incredible. She’s smart. Sweet. Funny. Charming. There isn’t anything about her or her life that anyone should feel sorry for.”

Why did people pity her? Why didn’t they take the chance to get to know her? Understand all the facets of who she was.

She was Autistic, but that was only part of who she was.

“You can’t really believe that she’s wife material? Mother material? She can barely carry on a conversation. She eats one thing. How can she raise a child when she can’t even stop herself from repeating those ridiculous words after her name? What is a child going to think when she does that meeting their friends, teachers? Life is hard enough as it is.”

“They are palindromes. It’s a verbal stem. She uses it to self regulate when she’s nervous, anxious or in a stressful situations. It might be a little strange if you don’t know why she does it, but a simple explanation should suffice.”

“Do you honestly believe that will stop children on the playground from bullying your children? You aren’t thinking this through, Jun ho. You’re making life harder than it needs to be.”

His parents had been afraid of this. So had her father. Love was enough to make her a wife and a mother, but was it enough to raise children?

“She does things a little differently than others. And sometimes she takes the long road but she always gets there. She keeps life interesting. She makes me happy.”

Seung-hui leaned forward, eyes meeting his. He had to listen had to hear her. Had to take his head out of the clouds. There was no reason to keep a doomed relationship alive.

“You are any woman’s dream, Jun ho. Your kind. Warm hearted. You’re handsome and have a great job. You want to settle down, have a family. This could and should be so easy for you. Just open your eyes and stop pretending like your future is with her. With someone who can’t give you any of those things.”

Jun ho was quiet, mind racing. What could he say that made her understand? What could he say that made him understand? That took away all the worries and fears.

“Every version of my life that I can think of,” He paused to take a breath, calm his racing heart. “She’s with me. Every single one. Sometimes we have kids, sometimes we don’t. I've tried to picture a fate where there is someone else, but I can’t. I always end up with her."

He could never find a fate where she wasn't with him. Where he was happier with someone else.

The realization dawned in his eyes and his words shook despie his confidence. "It’s her. It’s always been her. It’s always going to be her.”

The words fell out quickly and firmly, the air draining from his lungs as he struggled to comprehend the weight of his words.

He’d felt these things for awhile and he’d been unable to see his future without her for even longer.

He just hadn’t understood how it all fit together.

Seung-hui was right. It might be easier to love another woman. It might make it easier to have a wife and a family.

But easier meant he was without her.

And without her, he couldn’t, he wouldn’t be happy.

Loving her was hard. But he was going to do it.

Forever.

Ten kids. Two kids. No kids.

She was the only family he needed.

“I think I fell in love with her that day first day I met her at the revolving door.”

He slid out of his chair and was on his feet before he could even realize what was happening.

“Jun ho, where are you going?” Seung-hui wondering following him to her feet.

“I have to speak to her father.”

Seung-hui watched him dash out the door. She closed her eyes and shook her head.

He was going for her father’s blessing.

Chapter Text

The bright lights and bustling sounds of Downtown Seoul were fading into the dimly light street lights and empty streets of the suburbs.

He was running quickly, with firm intentional strides.

The last he had run like this was the evening he’d made a mad dash to Hanbada to finally tell her he liked her.

There really wasn’t any need to run in this instance, he just wanted to ensure she was still at dinner with Su-mi.

He would say everything and more to her, as soon as it felt right. But first he needed her father’s blessing. His understanding. His faith and trust.

It was a heady to hand off your only, Autistic, daughter off to another man.

He could see Woo Young Woo Gimbap from his current position, lights still on.

Her father was likely still trimming Spinach before heading in for the night.

Maybe he should wait?

With how her father felt about him and the fact that he knew they were having sex, turning up when he had a knife in hand might not be the best idea.

He would risk it, he decided just out of sight of the restaurants window.

He saw her father as soon as he crossed into the windows view. Trimming Spinach. Knife in hand. Eyes blazing as he focused on him.

Jun ho stopped quickly, just long enough to catch a small breath. Enough so he could get the words out.

Gwang-ho eyed him suspiciously as Jun ho appeared in the doorway.

“I love your daughter,” He panted between ragged breaths. “I love her so much that I can’t picture my life without her. Whether we have ten kids, two kids, no kids. It doesn’t matter. There is no version of the rest of my life that I can envision where she isn’t with me.”

He was gasping for air, his lungs burning. He couldn’t tell anymore if it was from running all the way or from the force of the words as they flew out. “It’s her. It’s always been her. It will always be her.”

Gwang-ho regarded him silently, his face unreadable.

“You’re sure that love is enough? That if she decides that she doesn’t want children, that you can live with it? That you’ll be happy and won’t resent her? Because the worst thing you can do to a person is make them believe your love is unconditional when it’s not.”

Jun ho nodded, his eyes set on Gwang-ho.

He had never been so sure of anything in his life.

“Your fears were the same as my parents, as my sisters. As most people who know about us. They were and still are mine to some degree, but the idea of another woman...of marrying someone else just because it’s easier, that’s unfathomable.”

A barely there smile crept across Gwang-ho’s lips. “And when it’s been year, five, twenty five years and people are still questioning your relationship...you don’t believe you’ll grow resentful?”

“The only thing I would, did, resent was being without her.”

If the last few months had taught him anything, it was that life without her was unbearable and unimaginable.

“I want to ask her to marry me,” He finally said, his voice cracked with so many different emotions, it almost hurt to speak. “Not yet. I mean not tomorrow, but in the near future. I hope that we can have your blessing.”

Gwang-ho set his knife down and stood slowly. He crossed the few steps that separated himself from Jun ho.

There were tears welled in his eyes and his hand shook as he extended it. “She told me once that she wanted to walk herself down the aisle, and that I could have the bouquet...be the next one to get married. I told myself that if she ever did get married, I would be just be so happy and grateful that I would let her do it her way. I want to walk her down the aisle. I want to have a dance at your reception and I want to help you move your things into your place. If you love her as deeply as you say, and you are as committed I believe you are, I will be honored to call you my son-in-law.”

Jun ho was only momentarily caught off guard when Gwang-ho decided a handshake wasn’t sufficient and pulled him into an embrace.

If this were any other man and any other daughter a handshake would have sent the desired message.

This moment called for more from them. The two men who would love her for the rest of their lived joined together by their belief that this time, love would be enough.

Chapter Text

Sleep was eluding her, and had done so most of the night.

Su-mi’s words racing in her brain. There was so much to unpack. So much to process.

They had ended up having a lovely dinner.

Su-mi hoped they could do it again, Sang-hyeon could join them, Jun ho as well.

They would never be able to make up for lost time, but perhaps they could find a way to build a relationship now?

Appa was still awake when she had arrived home. Was she alright? What did Su-mi say? He was adamant that she didn’t have to ever speak to Su-mi again of that’s what she wanted.

She has thanked him for waiting up. She was alright, just tired. She wanted to keep what Su-mi said between the two of them, however she encouraged him to reach out to Su-mi.

The truth would set him free in more than a few ways and he could use the peace as much as she could.

Sleep wouldn’t come, no matter what she tried.

Was there to much pain to move past? To much angry to work through? Was there enough benefit to working through it all?

She would be the first to admit that there were still so many moments, even as an adult, that she wanted her Mother to be around for.

Her first day of law school. Graduation. Every rejection from some of the best firms in Korea. Her being hired at Hanbada.

Her first case and first win.

The day she realized she liked Jun ho. The day he said he liked her too.

Her advice about meeting Jun ho’s sister might have been better, the breakup avoided.

So much had been missed.

K

But there was still time to build some kind of relationship, if she wanted.

She had waited her whole life for the chance to know her Mother...to pass it up the opportunity would walking away from one of the few things she’d ever dreamed up.

Her phone was in her lap and her fingers ticked against it as contemplated whether a text a 3am was inappropriate.

She understood a phone call was, unless it was an emergency, and she would hate to wake Su-mi. But she feared she would get no rest until she said what was in her heart.

I don’t know if social convention allows for 3am text messages, and I apologize if this text wakes you.

I find myself unable to sleep. Perhaps this text will help to ease my heart and mind.

I enjoyed having dinner with you and wanted to thank you for your honesty. While I understand and ultimately respect your choice to stay out of my life, I still didn’t have a mother. I still have a great sense of pain and even some anger.

We cannot change the past. I think I might like to change the present, however.

I might like to build a relationship with you and explore some of the important moments still come with you.

If you would like to have dinner again, I would like to do so. Seeing as both Sang-hyeon and Jun ho both enjoy Gimbap as well, I would like them to join us.

Woo Young Woo

She flopped back against her pillows and let her phone lay face down on her chest.

Maybe she would have a Mother after all.

Chapter Text

Her phone clock said 3:35am and she was no closer to sleep than she had been thirty minutes before.

Su-mi wasn’t the only one on her mind.

Jun ho had talked of their future. He saw then getting married.

A future she still didn’t dream she was capable of having.

He had never mentioned a family. Though one could assume he wanted children based on his own upbringing and his personality.

He was kind, warm, gentle, patient and loved unconditionally. He already the correct attributes to be a father.

Until their first kiss the idea of baring and raising children had never crossed her mind.

Why would it? All the evidence, research and statistics said that she was likely to end up alone. The odds someone loving her, let alone wanting a family with her were almost negligible.

Statistically speaking, there should be no Lee Jun ho. Boyfriend. Lover. Man who wanted to marry her.

Children were an abstract concept she hadn’t ever thought of in any other way than a trigger for her anxiety.

Everything she read, studied, told her she shouldn’t. What kind of Mother would she make if she thought of herself first? If her thoughts always came back to herself?

She felt like a Mother Whale , though. Deep in her heart, she knew she could never be Su-mi. She could never walk away from a child bore from her body.

Su-mi believed she already thought like a Mother and Jun ho had said similar.

Was loving a child and trying her best, enough? She resented Su-mi for physically abandoning her, would her own children resent her for emotionally abandoning them?

And even if she wanted to have them? Could she?

Mess sparked her anxiety. Loud noises and sounds pushed her toward an overload. She liked routine and schedules and children often did unpredictable things.

All of these things were insurmountable, weren’t they?

“I hope that you don't choose not to have them simply because society tells you that you shouldn’t. You might not be a typical mother, but you would a great one. Don’t rule anything out just because you don’t fit the mould.”

Su-mi was correct.

The experts. The research. Society. They said she couldn’t be an Attorney. That she couldn’t be a girlfriend. That cooking her own food and being independent were things she might never achieve.

She had done all of those things and would continue to do things few thought she could.

Her phone shook in her hands and she took a few steadying breaths.

They had text late into the night one many occasions so this didn’t bare the social stigma of her text to Su-mi.

He would be sleeping and she could, hopefully, fall asleep, content that he would reply in the morning.

My dinner with Su-mi went well. She was very open and forthright with her answers.

I feel that I understand her and her reasons for staying away much better now.

I have agreed to have dinner with her again, and she would like you to come along. I would like you to come along.

I hope your dinner with your sister went well. Maybe one day she will like me.

Su-mi and I spoke of love and family, of Motherhood. She like you, assured that I would be a Mother Whale.

Strong. Devoted. Unwavering in my love for my offspring.

I don’t know that I completely believe this to be true. And before tonight I hadn’t given any thought to whether or not I wanted to raise children.

After doing much thinking about what I would like from the future, once we have been married for an adequate length of time, I would like to explore the possibility of us having children.

I think I would like to be a Mother Whale.

I hope that this is something you will want as well.

Woo Young Woo

She reached for her headphones, let her phone fall at her side, put her eye mask on and laid back against her pillows a second time.

This time she felt like she might finally sleep.

Her mind drifted and eyes fluttered under her mask.

She hoped he wanted children.

They would like have very handsome and intelligent offspring.

Chapter Text

“What do you think Attorney Jung wants to say to us that he can’t say at Hanbada?” Youngwoo wondered, as they neared Hairy’s Pub.

Hairy’s Pub was just off the main high street, and proved to be less than a ten minute walk from Hanbada.

In fact it was an eight minute and twenty six second walk.

Their case was finished and they’d won. Nothing she could think of warranted dinner at Hairy’s Pub.

He’d asked all of them, herself and Jun ho, Min-woo and Su-Yeon, and Guerami to meet him at Hairy’s for dinner after work.

Anything unplanned and out of routine sparked her anxiety.

Jun ho noticed her anxiety and gave her hand a quick squeeze. He wasn't concerned with what Attorney Jung wanted to say or why.

His thoughts were only on her and the events of the previous week’s events.

He had her fathers blessing.

They would have handsome and intelligent babies!

They had the rest of their lives at their fingertips.

The subject of her text had been broached the next day during their date protesting the arrival of a new Dolphin at the Aquarium.

They both wanted children but could live happily without them. There would be further discussion after they were married, but for now the topic would be sidelined and they would enjoy their present relationship.

In his head he was already picking out rings, thinking of locations and the perfect moment to ask her.

In reality he wasn’t sure he’d ever properly told her he loved her?

Had he?

“Jun hossi?” She asked softly from next to him. “Are you alright?”

“Mmm, I’m fine. I was just thinking of everything that’s happened in the last month and how far we’ve come.”

They had started having sex.

She was connecting with Su-mi.

They would get engaged. Married. Maybe have children.

She was living a life she didn’t even have in her wildest dreams.

“I love you, jagiya.” So much I can’t fathom my life without you in it.

She smiled up at him and stopped momentarily. “Of course you do. Why would you want to marry me if you didn’t?”

His laugh soft and filled with admiration. Sometimes her bluntness and honesty were to much, but in moments like this, it was perfect. “You’re incredible, and I can’t wait to spend my life with you.”

“As we love each other, the sex is adequate, and we are on the same page about children, we do have a solid foundation for the future.”

Jun ho stopped suddenly, and tipped his head down to look at her. “The sex is only adequate?”

She faced him now, eyes flicking up to meet his for a second.

His eyes were wide and filled with, something she still wasn’t sure of. Lust? Desire? Passion?

He stepped toward her slowly, eyes on her face. Her feet slid back slowly, eyes stealing glances at his face, his lips, his eyes.

There was a glass window from one of the closed shops just behind her, and that was his destination for them.

She only realized what was happening when she could no longer step backward and her back rested against the glass.

“That’s disappointing.” He closed the gap between them and pressed his body into hers.

Hands went to either side of her waist, palms pressed against the glass. He wanted to kiss her instantly but had promised himself that he would always pause, let her sort through what was coming and offer her consent or not.

He was going to kiss her. She’d learned what that look meant ages ago.

She’d learned she loved that look even before she understood its meaning.

“Looks like I’m going to have to try harder.”

Her eyes met his briefly and she leaned forward, pressing herself against his body.

Adequate was just a word she had come across when she Googled important parts of a relationship and marriage.

It was the furthest for what sex was really, her thoughts drifted Jun ho’s tongue proding her lips apart.

Her heart raced. She felt dizzy. Drunk, or at least what she thought it might feel like. Her body hummed and tingled with life.

What happened between them was toe curling.

Her lips parted. Head tipped back. Back arched.

“Oh would you two get a room,” Min-woo punctuated his mock disgust with an exaggerated gag.

They parted quickly, and their eyes met briefly.

They would get to a room, later.

“What do you think Attorney Jung wants with us after work hours?” Su-Yeon asked, slinging her arm around Youngwoo's shoulders.

Youngwoo fidgeted for a moment, but allowed her arm to stay.

Guerami often did the same and said it’s what good friends did.

She’d waited so long for good friends that she was willing to bare the touching.

“Did you talk her yet?” Min-woo asked Jun ho quietly.

They were a few steps behind and if they kept their voiced low, Su-Yeon and Youngwoo wouldn’t hear their topic of consideration.

“Not yet. Haven’t found the right moment.”

“You better hurry or someone else will come along and rent the apartment.”

“She has never lived with anyone other than her father, I don’t want to spring it on her out of nowhere.”

“She told you she wants to move out, be more independent. What better way than moving in with you?”

He was right. And he did want to live with her more than anything.

He would ask her soon and they would start the rest of their lives together.

Chapter Text

Dinner at Hairy’s Pub never disappointed.

The food was fabulous and so was the company.

Who would have thought the eight of them would find such enjoyment in each other’s company.

“Alright, so what’s the news? Why did you ask us here?” Guerami asked through a knowing smile.

Her eyes flicked toward Ji-soo and the very visible ring on her finger and she motioned up to their faces, and the smiles they wore.

“Wait....” Su-Yeon saw it immediately having followed Guerami’s eye line. “Oh how exciting.”

Min-shik, Jun ho and Min-woo looked between one another, unsure what they were missing.

“What’s exciting?” Youngwoo asked looking up from her Gimbap. “Is it the engagement ring that you’re just noticing?”

She’d seen it when they had arrived. It was a beautiful diamond and band and was clearly meant to signify their engagement.

Her Autism meant there was a lot of things she failed to notice. It also meant that she always had to be extra aware of what was happening around her, otherwise she stood little chance of properly gaging a situation.

Her father had spent years trying to teach her when to speak and when to keep her observations to herself and almost a year at Hanbada had helped her learn be better at reading the room.

A collective wave of surprise echoed around the table, smiles and congratulations flowing before Attorney Jung or Ji-soo could confirm Youngwoo’s observation.

“It’s true,” Attorney Jung started eyes on Ji-soo. “We are getting married, remarried...in Jeju in six months.”

“And we would love it if the six of you joined us,” Ji-soo added.

Jeju? She could go to Jeju again? She would have another opportunity to see Sampal, Chunsam and Boksun before the year was out.

Guerami was quick to capitalize on everyone else being caught up in congratulations and she leaned to her right, resting an elbow on Jun ho’s shoulder as she whispered. “That gives you six months to choose her ring. On the beach in Jeju. Ask her there.”

Jun ho raised a curious eyebrow and glanced quickly at Youngwoo. She was wide eyed and wearing a gorgeous smile.

Clearly lost to thoughts of Indo Pacific Bottle Nosed Dolphins.

“You can’t propose at someone else’s wedding.”

It was distasteful and if he was honest, he didn’t want to share the moment.

“You do it afterward. The next day or night. Right before we leave, anytime.” She winked and sat back in her chair. “To true love and reconnecting.” She held out her glass.

There glasses clincked and they happily toasted the couple.

Attorney Jung had told him that last day in Jeju, that if somehow you let go of the person you loved, you had to go back and hold on tighter.

He was right and they both seemed to have followed the advice and neither would let go again.

“If you’re worried about it,” Guerami whispered over his shoulder, as she crossed behind on her way to get more alcohol from the fridge, “Ask them if they would be okay with it.”

She hurried off, a knowing smile tilting her lips.

Her Youngwoo was going to be a wife.

She was incredible.

How far she’d come and how far she was going!

Chapter Text

Gwang-ho paced behind the couch.

Youngwoo and Jun ho sat before him, backs to him as he continued his pacing.

He’d seen this day coming for awhile. If he was honest with himself, he knew it would happen from the first time Lee Jun ho had arrived at his restaurant.

That didn’t mean he had to like it or be completely convinced it was a good idea.

“We are adults. We do not need your permission and have only asked as a formality.”

They were still going to move in together regardless of whether.or not they got his blessing.

Jun ho shook his head and his face twisted into a painful wince.

Most of the time he loved and admired her bluntness and honesty.

This however, was not one or those times.

Why poke the bear?

“You’re right, you don’t need my blessing or permission, and I won’t stop you. But I am your father and I have the right to ask questions to ensure that you will be properly cared for.”

He was at the side of the couch, Jun ho motioning for Youngwoo to slid over.

“You’re welcome to come see the apartment,” Jun ho offered, hoping to diffuse some of the tension. “It’s only a ten minute walk from here.”

“You struggle to adjust in new spaces. You don’t do well sleeping anywhere that isn’t your own. Have you thought about it and what are your plans to make the change go more smoothly?”

He knew they’d put thought into these things. He knew that between the two of them, they would have been able to foresee many issues and implement a plan to address them.

He just had to hear them say it, know that they had thought it through.

Jun ho looked over at Youngwoo with an encouraging smile. They had talked this through. Thought of every, well most things and they were confident they could handle it.

“It will only be somewhere new for a short time. I know what type of sheets I like. Pillow cases I need. We can recreate the current settings of my room to the best of our abilities. I will become comfortable overtime.”

They would buy a queen sized bed and cover it in her favorite sheets, comforter and pillow cases. It would be a bigger version of her bed.

With Jun ho in it.

“We’ll use our second room as an office and a sort of sensory room. All of her Whales can go inside. Everything that helps her calm down and easy anxiety. We will get dimming lights and will have a single bed, in case it all gets to be to much. I want to be sure she has a safe space.”

Who was Lee Jun ho and here had he come from? Had he been born specifically to love Youngwoo?

“Household chores, meals. You don’t have a lot of experience with those things.”

She had no experience. He had given up asking her to help and she had never offered.

“Geurami and Su-Yeon will come and help me make a list and schedule of everything that needs to be done.”

“I’ll help out with everything as well,” Jun ho added. He saw them as a team. And if there were areas she struggled in, he would be able to step in.

“I have learned to make jjajangmyeon. Mr Hairy has taught me to make rice and he’s goin to show me how to prepare meat. You could show me how to prepare Gimbap. It’s not a lot...”

Gwang-ho nodded and blinked back at her, sudden tears pooled in the corners of his eyes.

She was learning to cook? She wanted to cook? Who was this woman and what had she done with his daughter?

“Yes. I can teach you how to make Gimbap,” His voice cracked slightly and his eyes fixed on Jun ho. “I have trusted you to love and care for her thus far and you have not let me down. Don’t start now.”

He held out his hand to Jun ho.

The handshake was quick but firm and perfectly conveyed the words Gwang-ho wanted to get across.

He was trusting Jun ho with his only daughter. He was trusting him to love her. Care for her.

He had given up his career to give Youngwoo the best life he could.

And now it was Jun ho’s turn to give her the best life he could.

He would never truly know or understand how this young man came to be Youngwoo’s future husband but he would spend the rest of his life thanking whatever God’s existed that he had found his way to her.

Chapter Text

The silence was deafening. The air in the room seemed thick and he was finding it hard to breath.

Why didn’t they say something? Anything. Easy the tension coursing through him.

They weren’t going to change his mind. He had made that very clear. But that didn’t mean he didn’t want their blessing, their approval.

“You've consulted with her father about moving in together? And asked his blessing to marry here?” His fathers finally broke the silence, eyes fixed on Jun ho.

Jun ho swallowed a suddenly nervous breath and nodded. “He’s given his blessing to both. He has agreed to help us move and will give Youngwoo lessons in making Gimbap. He’s very supportive of us.”

His mother remained silent, eyes darting between her husband and her son.

Jun ho was confident. He was sure of himself and his future with Youngwoo. He believed in their happily ever after.

And she did to.

Or at least she was trying.

“And Youngwoo, she’s comfortable with so many changes? I imagine change is probably very hard for her. Have you planned any alternatives if she should struggle?”

His Mother had a way of bringing him out of the clouds, making him face reality. He was glad they asked these questions, grateful her father had.

It gave them the opportunity to think of things and situations they hadn’t already considered.

They would never be fully prepared, but they would go into their living together and eventually marriage with eyes open as wide as possible.

“She has a set list of things like bedding, lighting, soaps and those kind of things. We will buy them, do our best to recreate everything that makes her comfortable. Our extra room will be an office and sensory room. Somewhere she can go if she gets to overwhelmed. I know it won’t be perfect and we’ll probably struggle at first, but I know we can make it work.”

They would find a way to make it work, no matter what it took.

“Does she have much experience tending house?” His father wondered. The underlying question of could she, pulsing through his words.

“She doesn’t have a lot of experience, but we are working on that. She has a couple of friends working out a list and schedule for her. And her father is giving her more to do around the house before we move in.”

It was a lot. He understood their concerns. He understood her fathers concerns. He wasn’t naive, he understood that they would struggle in the beginning, but they would get through it.

He stopped and a hard breath escaped from his lungs. He wasn’t sure if it was relief or nerves, finally making their way out, but his heart and his head felt lighter.

His parents seemed...to approve, he thought so anyway. He couldn’t be sure until one of then spoke.

“Have you chosen a ring?” His mother wondered through a soft smile.

They still had their reservations about whether or not the relationship could withstand long term, but they loved their son and would stand by him and his choices.

Jun ho sighed. He had so many ideas. So many visions of the perfect ring racing through his mind.

He’d stopped once, only making it to the counter before leaving as quickly as he’d come.The weight of the moment to much to barem

“Not yet. I’m not sure what type of ring she’d like. Should I take her with me to choose? Should I surprise her with it? Does she even want a ring?”

She didn’t wear jewellery and when he’d asked Guerami if Youngwoo had any issue with wearing some, she hadn’t been able to help, unsure herself if Youngwoo had an aversion to it or just didn't wear it.

“Why don’t you bring her for dinner and we can do some reconosiense for you?”

A wide smile tilted his lips and he nodded, watching his parents talk amongst themselves about what they should ask.

He knew they still had reservations and they still weren’t completely convinced they would last, yet they still supported him. Stood by him.

“I’d love that. But let’s make sure Seung-hui doesn’t decide to drop by.”

While he valued Geurami and Su-Yeon’s input and knowledge of Youngwoo, sometimes people on the outside looking in could get a better read on a situation.

Now all he had to do was work up the courage to ask Attorney Jung and Ji-soo if he could propose after their wedding.