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Chapter Text

Bruce did not usually answer his front door, but Alfred was already in five places at once planning an upcoming gala to welcome Jason back to life, and he figured it was just more florists. He was caught a little off guard when instead it was Clark and a beautiful woman. He thought it was Donna at first, he recognized the coat as hers, but though the woman's coloring was similar the coat was obviously too large on this woman's frame.

He was trying to figure out what Clark could possibly be up to when he was supposed to be in space watching after his son. He was about to speak, but the young woman beat him to it.

"Hiya B," she said, and then gave a dazzling grin.

Bruce's brain froze because that was Dick's I-have-done-something-reckless-please-dont-kill-me smile. Bruce narrowed his eyes and turned to glare at Clark. "I distinctly remember saying you could only take my son into space if you made sure nothing happened."

Dick's smile dropped, and he turned to glare at Clark, his actions unconsciously mirroring Bruce's. "You know I'm an adult now, right? Why are you getting parental permission to assign me to missions."

"Trust me it's better this way for everyone," Clark told him wearily, before looking back at Bruce. "And Dick is fine. Not a scratch on him," he promised, taking Dick by the shoulders to push him forward. Bruce wasn't fooled. He could tell the coward was trying to hide behind his son.

"And yet not as I last saw him," Bruce snapped.

"I am right here," Dick said.

"Would you prefer I interrogate you? Fine," Bruce said, reaching out to pull Dick inside. For the first time he noticed he was shorter, too. Dick was never as tall as him or Jason, but now he wondered if he was even taller than Tim.

Bruce kicked the door closer behind him, but years of long suffering friendship had Clark just opening it again with a sigh to follow them in.

"Let's start with the most important part, how do we get you back to normal?" Bruce asked.

"Oh, that's easy! Just have to take this necklace off," Dick assured him, and then unbuttoned the top buttons of the white dress shirt he was wearing. Bruce noticed those were likely Dick's own clothes hidden by Donna's coat, and it was making him seem even smaller.

The necklace looked more like a collar--it was some kind of silver metal, but there was no break in it all the way around. A blue jewel sat right at his throat.

"Clark?" Bruce demanded. If it could just be taken off, they would have done it already.

"We tried cutting it off, I even tried my heat vision--" he paused and Bruce stiffened, "-very carefully. Nothing was working. We managed to get some small shavings, but that was it. Barry is analyzing it now."

Bruce would be having them brought here at the soonest opportunity. He looked back at Dick, trying not to let his appearance throw him too much, but he seemed small and delicate swathed in his clothes and the large peacoat. "Are you in danger?" he demanded.

"No-"

"Yes-"

Bruce ignored Dick's protest. "Clark?"

"Dick was planning to head back to Bludhaven, so I officially took him into protective custody. Thought you would prefer I turn him into you."

Dick planning to pretend this hasn't happened and not inform him was, sadly, unsurprising. But Clark's account was conspicuously missing any actual information. "What. Happened," he growled.

"The Emperor of planet Marnix may or may not be planning to go to war with Earth over me," Dick finally said into the awkward silence. "I think I could have talked him down but the team got a bit overprotective. You know how Clark is."

"About 25% percent as protective as me," Bruce snapped, "or you never would have been there in the first place."

"This was no one's fault!" Dick assured him. "The Emperor said it was a gift! How was I supposed to know I was accepting a marriage proposal?"

Bruce reached up to pinch his nose. "Start at the beginning," he demanded.

Donna and Dick were sat in between Diana and Clark on the opposite side of the table from the Marnix Emperor and his delegation. The Emperor had, at first, taken them as a family, which Dick might have found amusing if Clark and Diana weren't being so overprotective that it really seemed almost true.

"Such beautiful children!" he had cried, his eyes lingering on Dick in a way that had the other three immediately stiffening.

The Wonder Twins had been included on the mission as the Emperor, Arat Halxas, had wanted to speak to a human, and Donna hadn't planned to let him go without her. Dick had told his family he would be out of touch undercover rather than off world, just to avoid any concerns, or concern masquerading as anger, but being with Clark was almost as bad as if Bruce had joined them after all.

They were not allowed to wander the city alone, they weren't allowed to speak to anyone alone. They were just there to listen and learn.

Sometimes he wondered if Clark and Diana even realized they were both now closer to thirty than they were to eighteen. He supposed that was still a baby for Donna, but he was an adult. He was.

"I am," he whined to Donna.

"I know," she said, patting his hand.

It wasn't long into the dinner before the Emperor's attention returned to Dick. "Nightwing," the emperor said imperiously, "I would speak with you after our meal. I am fascinated by your planet."

"We'd love to discuss it further with you," Clark broke in before Dick could.

"Ah," the emperor said, "I meant alone. It is traditional, after all, to discuss such matters of importance one to one in my culture."

The Emperor smiled over at Dick, and Dick automatically flashed his camera ready smile back. It dropped a second later when Donna elbowed him.

"Stop that," she hissed.

"Stop what?" he whispered back. "I'm not doing anything!"

"I'm sure you understand, Nightwing is not an official Justice League member. He does not have authority to negotiate on our behalf. While we'd be happy to hold discussions, Wonder Woman or myself should be present."

"That's not how we do things here," Arat said. "I'm sure you wouldn't want to offend us by implying that any of you would be unsafe. There is no crime on Marnix."

"It's fine," Dick assured a reluctant Clark before turning back to the Emperor. "I'd be happy to meet with you."

Dick wasn't as oblivious as Donna thought, so he did know how Arat was looking at him. He was prepared to gracefully fend off any unwanted advances--as Richie Wayne, he had plenty of experience--but he wasn't concerned. Marnix was a paradise, after all. They didn't even have a concept of weapons.

He felt he was proven right when an hour in, all the emperor had done was ask polite questions and listen attentively, but eventually the other shoe did drop. Arat reached out and clasped both of Dick's hands, watching him intently.

"I feel an alliance between our worlds would be most advantageous, would you agree?" he asked.

"Absolutely," Dick agreed. "That would be wonderful."

Arat smiled brightly. "Wonderful!" he agreed, letting him go. He stood and grabbed a gold box from his desk, and then held it out to him. "A gift, to make it official."

Dick opened the box carefully, alarms beginning to sound in the back of his mind, but it was only a necklace. It was a bit gaudy, certainly not his style, but looked harmless. "Thank you," he said, hoping his smile did not look as fake as it felt. "It is beautiful."

"Put it on, put it on!" Arat encouraged happily, "the alliance will not be final until you wear the gem of Alstaf."

"Right," Dick said carefully, glancing at the doors. He didn't really see a polite way out of this. The JL needed a crystal that Marnix had in abundance for a shield technology being developed, and the Marnixians were known to be fickle and quick to drop allegiances when it came to outsiders.

"Let me help you," Arat said, lifting the necklace out and moving behind him.

Dick barely heard the clasp snick and then he was screaming.

He came back to awareness laid out on the floor, to see Superman holding the emperor up against the wall. He blinked blearily at them and felt something was wrong. He felt weak and off balance, and he tried to speak but his voice came out all wrong.

"It is not supposed to hurt, it must be the difference in biology," Arat was insisting nervously, "but it is fine now, see? See she is fine!"

She? Donna? Dick tried to push up to his knees but Donna and Diana were standing in the doorway and looked fine. But then that is what he said.

Donna rushed forward and dropped down next to him, eyeing him with concern. "Boy Wonder?" she whispered.

He tried to ask 'what was that?' but it sounded more like 'wasit.'

"I insist you let me go at once to tend to my bride!" Arat yelled at he squirmed in Clark's grip.

"I didn't know you were married," Dick said, and he managed to form words this time, but they still didn't sound right. He glanced at Donna and lowered his voice. "Probably shouldn't have been hitting on me so much then, huh."

"He's talking about you," Donna said gently.

At first he didn't understand, but then he glanced down and saw a pair of breasts he definitely didn't remember having. "Oh fuc--"

"Language, Master Dick," Alfred said calmly, as he entered the foyer, looking entirely unperturbed by his transformation.

He wondered if Alfred really did just know everything, or if Bruce had simply texted him an update while Dick had been retelling what happened.

"So let me see if I understand this...an alien prince wanted you to marry him and be his princess?" Bruce demanded.

"I mean, Empress, technically," Dick corrected, and then shrunk back at Bruce's glare.

"What I want to know is why you put that necklace on in the first place," Bruce snapped. "This is why--"

"Okay, I know you're paranoid, but it was a necklace, Bruce!" Dick cried. "This was not on my list of possible outcomes!"

"We didn't learn the Marxians could change sex at will until...after," Clark explained. "Apparently, it's normal for them."

"Then why didn't he just change Dick back?" Bruce snapped. Dick winced, and looked away, which was a bad sign. "Dick."

"He did this to me because he wants heirs," Dick said. "Apparently he tested me when we first arrived and our species are compatible."

Bruce pressed his lips into a grim line. "You are never leaving this planet again."

Dick heaved a sigh. "Aw, come on, B. What are the chances this would happen twice?"

"That's what you said when you were kidnapped to Tamaran," he said tightly.

"I wasn't kidnapped," Dick said, with the long-suffering of someone having an argument they'd had many times before. "I went voluntarily."

"You were seventeen, and she not only took you over state lines, she left the planet with you," Bruce said. "Nearly being married off to alien royalty once is an aberration. Twice is a pattern."

"It was reconnaissance, we weren't eloping," he cried.

"You're probably going to need to stay Earthside for the foreseeable future anyway," Clark reminded him diplomatically. "Marnix has spies across many planets."

"Clark, not you too? I'm good at this!" Dick insisted.

"That's the problem. You're too good at it. They keep wanting to keep you," Clark told him.

"This can be discussed later," Alfred said firmly, intervening. "Master Dick, come with me, you must be famished. It just so happens I have a fresh batch of cookies just ready to come out of the oven."

"Cookies?" DIck asked, eyes lighting up as he trailed after Alfred without even a glance back. It reminded Bruce of when he'd first come to the manor, and made his heart catch when he realized how close he'd come to possibly not getting his son back at all.

"I got him out, I got him home safely," Clark assured him, catching his look.

"And now we have someone threatening to go to war with Earth?" he snapped.

"They don't have any weapons of concern, so..." Clark started, and then sighed. "Bruce, he fixated on Dick the moment we got there. It wasn't anything any of us did."

"It's something you didn't do," he snapped. "You should have sent him home."

"That's not how it works and you know it."

Bruce glared at him, but didn't have anything to say to that. "I want Barry to bring the samples here."

"I knew you would, he'll be over after he finishes the initial tests," Clark said. "I'm heading back with Diana to try and negotiate with the Marnix Emperor. We'll figure this out."

"I'm going with you," Bruce decided.

"Bruce, Dick needs you here. Jason needs you here," he added, nodding towards all the preparations for the party. "Just keep Dick safe, we'll handle the rest."

"Unhand me, you harlot!" a shrill yell echoed down to them, unmistakably Bruce's youngest son.

"Where were you hiding a sword?!" a familiar but too feminine voice yelled back.

"Easier said than done," Bruce grumbled, ignoring Clark's laughter as he went to find his kids.

Chapter Text

After pulling Damian off of Dick--which was a strange change of pace from pulling Damian off Tim--he ushered them into the sitting room while yelling for Jason and Tim. He didn't want to have to go through this multiple times if he could help it.

"I found this vixen invading the manor, Father!" Damian said, flustered, and angry that Bruce had taken his sword. Bruce set it on the mantle, wondering himself why Damian was just carrying that around the manor.

Dick had shrugged out of his coat, and looked torn between being amused and hurt. Bruce knew there was no reason for him to worry, Damian would be apologetic the moment he realized just who the vixen was.

He was about to scream for Jason and Tim again when it became very clear that the white dress shirt Dick was wearing was very thin, and he was clearly not wearing a bra. Bruce's dad instincts were going haywire.

He twitched forward to cover him up almost on auto-pilot. It was not entirely a foreign feeling. He never had this problem with Cass, but he had been horrified at Dick's first iteration design of the Nightwing suit.

And of the scaly panties, now that he thinks of it.

"Put your coat back on," he said finally, unable to stop himself, picking up the peacoat and wrapping it back around him.

Jason was just entering, and watched the interaction with narrowed eyes. "Oh, tell me you didn't," he snapped. "You could have at least waited until after my return was officially announced before you adopted another one!"

"What?" Damian shouted, glancing at his father. "I thought the vixen was an intruder seeking your favor--"

Bruce and Dick both looked vaguely ill at the thought, and Dick opened his mouth to clear things up but Tim arrived before he could. He shuffled in, staring into his coffee, and plopped down into the armchair.

"Hey, Dick," he said.

Dick smiled gratefully. "Hey, Timmy."

"Wha--" Damian started, eyes going wide and horrified.

Jason fell to sit on the couch, looking at him with disbelief. "Oh my god."

"I guess we didn't handle that very well," Dick said, shrugging. "Accidentally transformed into a girl isn't even in Bruce's contingencies."

"Well, it is now," Bruce muttered.

"How did you even recognize him?" Damian snapped at Tim, embarrassed and hurt that he could have seen what he hadn't.

Tim looked up blearily and blearily blinked over at Dick. It became obvious that Tim had likely not slept any time in the last twenty-four hours. "Oh. I didn't notice," he said. He frowned. "Why are you a girl?"

"Useless," Damian sneered, before turning to Dick. He lifted his chin, bracing himself. "Grayson, I apologize for my behavior. I thought you were some harlot trying to seduce Father."

"Yeah, how about let's just not mention you thought that ever again and all's forgiven," Dick said, before grabbing Damian and giving him a hug. He ruffled his hair, which Damian tolerated for about twenty seconds, before he squirmed away.

"Either of you planning to tell us what actually happened?" Jason demanded. "What the hell did you do, Dick, piss off Zatanna?"

"Dick accepted a marriage proposal from an alien emperor, who is now threatening war if we don't send him back," Bruce said simply.

"You make it sound so bad," Dick said, trying to look reassuring at his brothers. "It's not that bad. War is very unlikely."

"That it is a possibility at all is a bit concerning, big bird," Jason said incredulously. "What the fuck? Why would you agree to marriage? It's not Kori, is it?"

"Of course not!" Dick said. "Completely different planet. Look, it's not a big deal." He touched the necklace around his throat. "Soon as we get this off, it'll be fine!"

"Cancel the party," Jason said flatly, looking at Bruce. "I need to go get my hands on a space ship."

Dick rolled his eyes. "Don't be ridiculous," he said. "And we can't cancel your Coming Alive party! I'm not missing it, either. I can still go. I could be your plus one, Little Wing!"

"No," he said instantly. "Nope. Too weird."

"Absolutely not," Damian sneered in agreement. "You are far too good for the likes of him."

"Aw, Dami," Dick smiled. "Do you want me to be your plus one instead?"

"That is acceptable," he said. "I will bring my katana--"

"No katanas at the gala," Bruce said wearily.

"I'm with the kid on this one, we already needed a rotation to fend off Dickhead's suitors before he looked like this," Jason said, motioning towards him.

"What?" Dick asked, glancing up in surprise.

"Don't worry about it," Jason told him, before looking back at Bruce. "Cancel the party."

"We aren't cancelling the party, you're not getting out of this," Bruce told him. "But one of you will be with Dick at all times."

"Don't be sexist," Dick said imperiously, throwing back his hair in a way that looked straight out of a shampoo commercial. "I can take care of myself."

"Okay, you are way too good at being a girl," Jason said incredulously.

"It has nothing to do with...your temporary situation," Bruce told him firmly. "And everything to do with the fact that an alien emperor with unknown resources may be out to kidnap you."

"Well, fine, when you say it like that," Dick sighed.

There was a slam as the front door to the manor crashed open, and everyone tensed, before relaxing when they heard sneakers slipping along the tiles in a familiar pattern. Stephanie came skidding into the room, panting from exertion and holding a duffle bag. She looked at Dick with wide eyes, before collapsing on the couch beside him.

"Oh my god, it's true. I thought Tim was pranking me! And wow, of course you make a prettier girl than me. God, those eyelashes! You're not even wearing make up."

"Hi, Steph," Dick said wryly.

"Oh, hi," Stephanie said, grinning. "I brought bras! I was told they were desperately needed. Also, I brought clothes! You're a bit shorter than me, but they should fit."

Dick narrowed his eyes at Tim. Tim pointedly kept his eyes on his phone and did not make eye contact.

"Then, we go shopping!" Stephanie said gleefully. "Oh, I've always wanted more girls in the group! With Cass in Hong Kong there's been far too much testosterone around here. Tim will only let me paint his nails so many times."

"Still a guy," Dick said, as they all ignored Tim's outraged squawk. He looked through the duffle bag with wide eyes, pulling out a small pink sun dress. "But maybe shopping isn't a bad idea."

"I don't want you leaving the manor," Bruce said. "Stephanie, you can pick up the clothes for him. I'll give you my card."

"I am not letting Stephanie pick out my clothes," Dick said firmly, as he pulled out a purple lacy teddy he would have preferred never to know she owned.

Stephanie grabbed it from him, and stuffed it in her purse with a blush. "I was in a hurry! There's some t-shirts in there. I'm pretty sure. And shorts!"

Dick looked up at Bruce. "I'm going."

"You're not," Bruce said.

Dick got to his feet, grabbing the duffle bag, and started out of the room. "Yes I am!" he called back. Bruce let him go because he was headed up the stairs rather than the door, but the others could tell they were about to have another epic clash.

Bruce and Dick were a classic example of an immovable object and an irresistible force. It had caused more than a few major blow ups, and Jason had seen more of them than the rest. He wasn't in the mood for another one.

"I'll go with them," Jason said, glancing over at him. "You're not gonna stop him. But I'll keep an eye out."

"We don't know what we're dealing with yet," Bruce snapped. "He shouldn't be going anywhere."

"He'll be with me and Steph, he'll be fine," Jason said.

"I'll go as well," Damian said. "I'll protect Richard, Father."

"No way, demon," Jason snapped. "You head out, we'll get mobbed by the paparazzi. Dick's incognito at the moment, and that's how it needs to stay."

"Jason's right," Bruce said, running his hands down his face. Compromise, he had to compromise. "He doesn't leave your sight, Jason. Comm me the minute anything goes wrong."

"Sure," Jason said, in a manner that did not inspire confidence. Bruce wondered if he had time to plant trackers on them.

Dick came strolling back in, and everyone went silent. He was wearing a worn out Black Canary tour shirt and very short ripped jean shorts, along with combat boots. His hair went just past his shoulders now, and had a slight curl at the ends that no one had noticed when it had been caught up in his coat.

"Okay, why is it you're wearing my lazy Sunday clothes and you look like you should be on a Calvin Klein runway?" Stephanie finally said incredulously. "I look like a slob when I wear that!"

"Richard, go change at once!" Damian sputtered. "That isn't...you can't..."

"Trust me, this was the best option available," Dick laughed. "No offense, Steph, but it looked like you'd just dumped your laundry bin into that bag."

"I sort of did," she said with an apologetic wince, "but at least it was the clean bin!"

Dick leaned against the entryway, eyeing Bruce warily. "We good?"

"You stay with Jason and Stephanie," Bruce said tightly. "Check ins every half hour, and you're back within two."

"Deal," Dick said, grinning widely.

Stephanie was having the time of her life, Jason not so much. This was the third store, and he was ready to shoot someone. Jason hadn't actually been out in public with Dick much since he came back, they couldn't risk being seen together, so he'd forgotten what it was like. He wasn't sure if this was better or worse. There were less creeps that knew he was Dick Grayson, billionaire ward, but there seemed to be exponentially more creeps that wanted in this version of his pants.

"Move along," Jason said gruffly to a group of teen boys that had been gaping over at Dick and Steph. They took one look at him and ran off, and Jason tipped back on his heels, satisfied. He'd been relegated to bag holder, and he felt like three bags were enough, how long did he think he'd be a girl, but Dick insisted he'd have to wear a nice dress to the gala or he'd stand out.

Neither Jason or Steph had the heart to tell him he'd be standing out no matter what. Dick still seemed to be under the impression his anonymity as a Wayne was making him invisible.

But fine, whatever, he got the point of playing a role and needing the proper attire. What he didn't get is why he'd had to try on three dresses already, and still hadn't picked one out. Even Stephanie was starting to look a bit bored, and had moved to the back of the shop with him, leaning against his side like he was a rest stop.

Then Dick came out in the fourth dress.

Stephanie stiffened beside him, and then squealed excitedly. "Oh my god, he looks like a freaking Disney princess!" she cried. "I mean I guess I knew Dick was hot, but ew. That's Dick. But oh my god."

Dick laughed, obviously able to hear her. "Think it'll do then?" he asked.

It was blue, because of course it was, with a sheer shimmery ball gown, and thick pleated straps that fell off the shoulders. Jason was torn between being happy the shopping trip was over, and worried about how he and his siblings were going to fend people off his brother while he was looking like this.

"Alright, alright!" Dick sighed, "We can go! Just let me chan--"

Dick paused, looking out the window in concern, and Jason spun to see what had caught his attention. A man was standing across the street in a dark blue suit, staring in directly at his brother. "Stay here," Jason snarled, heading for the door.

The man outside started running immediately.

"Steph, pay for the dress!" Dick yelled, and then took off after him, still wearing it.

Dick had to pick up the skirt as he ran, and tried to ignore the looks as he followed in the path Red Hood was leaving in his wake. His brother slid over a parked car and then right across the street into an alley. Dick just hopped up on it, glad he was still wearing his combat boots, and raced across the street to follow him.

He skid to a stop beside Jason just in time to see the cornered man disappear into thin air.

Dick started forward, but Jason pushed him back and took out his gun, heading to the other end of the alley. It was empty. He looked back at Dick. "Was that your Emperor?" he demanded.

"No," Dick said, sucking in a breath. "It was the head of his guard."

Chapter Text

"I'm not staying in the cave," Dick said, crossing his arms. He was still in the dress, because Bruce had called them back immediately, and then ushered them all in the cave without giving them a chance to change or explain anything. Stephanie, thankfully, had managed to save the bags that Jason had dropped so they wouldn't have to go shopping again, because he didn't think anyone was going to let him back into the city. "And the party's tomorrow night. I'm not missing it."

"You've drawn too much attention already," Bruce snapped, and hit a key on the Batcomputer. A TikTok video appeared on the screen. Dick was so taken aback by the incongruity of it that it took him a moment to realize what it was.

The TikTok computer generated voice broke through the silence, "Someone find this girl so I can marry her," as a video of Dick, ball gown and combat boots and all, jumped easily up into the roof of a car in a running leap and then disappeared off screen into the busy street.

"It's already past five million views," Bruce said. "You were only gone two hours."

Dick managed not to wince, having had years of experience facing Bruce's moods. "I really don't think the Gotham elite are spending much time on TikTok," he said. "No one will recognize me."

"That's not the point, and you know it!" Bruce snapped. "The Marnixians are able to track the necklace."

"Yes, obviously," Dick agreed. "But that means they already know I'm here, anyway. Hiding down here won't make a difference."

"The cave is shielded," he argued, and everyone could tell he was making an effort not to yell. "You'll be safer down here."

"I'll be safer when we figure out how they're tracking it and block it. I'm not going to hide here," Dick snapped. "It could be weeks until Clark is able to negotiate with the Emperor. Hopefully, we'll manage to get this necklace off sooner, but either way, I've already left Bludhaven unguarded for too long."

Jason let out an irritated sigh. "I can't believe I'm siding with Bruce on this, but you're definitely not going to Bludhaven looking like that," he said. "I don't even like you in Bludhaven the way you usually look."
.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Dick demanded

"It means the way people look at you makes me want to shoot them," Jason said. "And maybe that would be a normal brother thing for someone else but I have lots of guns and an impulse control problem."

"Well, it's not actually anyone's decision but mine," Dick said.

"No, it's mine," Bruce growled. "You aren't patrolling like this. That's final. Consider yourself grounded until this is fixed."

"You can't ground me anymore," Dick said incredulously.

"Do you really want to test that theory?" Bruce asked.

"This is all irrelevant in any case, Richard," Damian said, glancing over at him. "You know you can't patrol alone while they can track you. I can patrol Bludhaven in your stead."

"You are not patrolling alone," Dick and Bruce said at the exact same time, and then turned to glare at each other.

"I will!" Stephanie offered, smiling weakly as she tried to break the tension. "I've done it when you were on long missions before, Dick. It's no trouble."

Dick looked stubborn, but heaved an irritated sigh. "Fine, let's just compromise again!" he said. "I won't patrol as long as they can track me. I'm not reckless--" he ignored the snorts of disbeilef, and continued on, "--but as soon as we figure that out, I'm not going to just sit around waiting. And I'm going to that party if I have to dig myself up into the ballroom."

"Fine," Bruce snapped, obviously not pleased, but at least this bought them some time.

Tim wandered over, oblivious to the tension, and placed a small clear transmitter on the band of the necklace. "It isn't bugged," he said, "the JL would have checked for that so I figured the stone must be giving off some kind of natural signature. It does, similar to Kryptonite. We already developed a transmitter that can obscure and hide Kryptonite from detection, and this should do the same here and make it entirely undetectable."

Dick broke out into a huge grin. "Timmy, you are my favorite! See? Problem solved."

"Grayson!" Damian cried in outrage.

"Don't worry, Dami, you're also my favorite," Dick promised.

Jason, who was absolutely not irritated at not also being declared a favorite, glared over at Tim. "How did you even figure that out? You're barely even conscious!"

"You guys have been arguing for awhile," Tim explained. "I had more coffee." He finally glanced up, and noticed everyone but Dick was glaring at him. "What? What did I do?"

"Nothing, you're the best!" Dick insisted. "Steph! Can I borrow one of your spare suits?"

"That won't be necessary, Master Dick," Alfred said. "I spent the afternoon preparing a suit for you. It was originally intended for Miss Stephanie, but I didn't think she would mind. I can make her another one."

Alfred passed the suit over and Dick lit up. It was obviously the same as Stephanie's Batgirl suit, but the bat across the chest was blue instead of purple. "It's perfect! Alfred, you're the best."

"Not everyone can be the best, Grayson!" Damian said sullenly. "Or your favorite!"

"Alfred," Bruce growled.

Alfred was unfazed. "I learned many years ago I can't stop any of you from going out, but I will see that you're all attired appropriately," he said calmly.

"There! It's settled," Dick said, tossing them a satisfied grin.

It was not settled. They argued another half hour before finally deciding Steph would patrol Bludhaven, while Jason, Damian and Dick would patrol Gotham. Bruce and Tim would stay at the cave to analyze the readings on the necklace Barry had provided, and see if they could make any further progress.

The only ones happy with this arrangement were Dick and Stephanie.

"Bye, losers!" Stephanie shouted as she sped off on her motorcycle.

The others were taking the Batmobile, much to Jason's surprise. Bruce did not usually let them use it, though he knew Dick had been known to 'borrow' it when Bruce wasn't needing it--he remembered being brought along for the ride once, too. Alfred usually helped him do it.

Alfred insisted he didn't play favorites, but as eldest Dick was able to get away with a lot.

Jason made himself feel better about it by laughing at how far Dick had to adjust the seat in order to reach the pedals.

His amusement didn't last long, and he shared a glance with Damian--another unlikely alliance. They were both hoping for once for an easy night. Dick had barely done any training with this body, other than a few showy flips on the cave trapeze set up in order to prove that he was fine, and absolutely able to patrol.

Stephanie, the troll that she was, kept asking what exactly was he trying to say about women crimefighters? And eventually ended the argument by threatening to call Cass on them.

Jason thought Cass would actually be with them on this and wanting to keep Dick under constant watch, but best not to risk it. "So what do we call you?" Jason asked, once they had hit the streets. "Bluebird?"

"Ridiculous," Damian scoffed. "There is a bat on the chest! Not a bird, Hood!"

"True," Dick agreed easily. "Blue-bat?"

"Acceptable," Damian allowed.

Jason wondered briefly how he had ended up back with this family.

"Cut the chatter," Bruce growled over the comm. Jason and Damian both stiffened, built-in conditioning to that voice, but Dick had always seemed immune and just laughed.

"You don't like Blue-bat, B?" Dick asked.

There was an awkward pause. "It's fine," he said.

Dick grinned over at them. "That means he likes it."

Any hope of an uneventful night was shattered with a man's scream. Dick was flying past them before they could stop, and Jason and Damian both jumped after him. Dick dropped down into the alley first, expertly spinning one escrima stick in his hand.

There was a man in a suit with a briefcase being held against the wall by a young man with a gun. "I'm gonna need you to step back and drop that gun," Dick told him.

The mugger did a double take, and then stepped back and obediently dropped his gun, staring at Dick with his mouth dropped open. "Okay," he said.

The victim scrambled away and rushed out the alley, and the mugger held out his hands. "You gonna handcuff me, gorgeous?"

Dick slid the escrima back in its holster and pulled out a zip tie, locking the guy's wrists together before he knew what had happened.

Dick grinned over at his horrified family, as they dropped down to join them. "And you were worried I'd be off my game!"

"Holy shit," the guy said, mesmerized by Dick's smile.

Jason swiftly pulled out his gun and aimed it at him. "I will shoot you."

"Calm down, he surrendered!" Dick insisted.

"I do," the guy said, eyes scanning over Dick's skin tight uniform, "I absolutely do surrender. Can I have your number? I'd love you to be my one phone call."

"You should probably call a lawyer," Dick told him, oblivious, "I can recommend a few honest ones."

"We should have put him in a spare Black Bat suit," Damian said grimly. Jason nodded absently in agreement.

Chapter Text

Dick woke up with the sixth sense Bruce had ingrained in all of them, and slid back into a protective crouch against the headboard as he blinked at the small shadowed figure standing above him.

"You will not leave the manor until this is handled."

Dick blinked, relaxing against the headboard with a sigh. "Hello, Cass," he said. "Thanks for coming. Nice to see you."

"I will patrol Bludhaven," she continued. "You will not."

"Cass--" he started.

"You will not," she said again.

Cass was precious, and he adored her, but she also terrified him. "I--okay, fine," he said.

She nodded, satisfied, and then leaned forward to give him a quick hug. "Glad you are okay," she said. "Missed you."

"Missed you too," he said. "But I thought you'd be on my side."

"Always," she said, giving him a quick wink before disappearing.

Dick groaned and glanced at the clock. It was six-thirty, which was basically the middle of the night as far as he was concerned, but he suspected he wouldn't be getting back to sleep any time soon.

Alfred generally liked them to be well-dressed for meals, but considering Dick was basically under house arrest he wasn't going to bother with any of his new clothes. It wasn't like he could go anywhere.

So he just put his hair in a messy bun and kept on his favorite worn out Superman shirt, which now came to his thighs. He'd had to roll up the waist of his Flash boxers, but he hoped Bruce could still the lightning bolts. It was petty, but that vein in Bruce's forehead always started throbbing whenever his kids wore league merch that wasn't his--and Dick was feeling petty.

By the time he had slunk down the stairs and made it to the dining room, everyone else was already there. They all froze to look at him strangely as he collapsed into his seat. He blinked at them. "What?"

"We're just not used to...ah...all of that...yet," Tim said haltingly, waving his hand vaguely at Dick's everything. "And you're not usually up this early."

"Cass woke me up," he said, reaching for a biscuit before picking at it.

"Just wanted to check on you," Cass said with an apologetic wince, as she took a bite of oatmeal. "Don't like the idea of a party here tonight."

"See?" Jason asked, turning to glare at Bruce. "Because we should cancel!"

"It's not like I'm going anywhere," Dick pouted. "I should at least get to go to your party. If you had it somewhere else, I'd be alone."

"Does that mean you're going to be more reasonable?" Bruce asked, looking very much like an extra from Mad Men as he sat there reading an honest to god newspaper.

"It means Cass won't let me leave," Dick shrugged.

The paper crinkled as Bruce's grip tightened, and he lowered it to narrow his eyes at him. "You let her ground you?"

"She's scarier than you," Dick said, flashing an angelic smile before ripping off another small piece of biscuit.

"Are you going to eat an appropriate breakfast?" Bruce asked in exasperation. "Or should I have Cass ask you?"

"That's not in the sibling code," Dick said, and Cass nodded seriously. He grinned at her.

Bruce looked like he wanted to order him to eat the way he would when Dick had been a child, and too picky by half. Dick just ignored him, because Dick was an adult now and he could eat whatever he wanted.

"Alfred uses protein powder in the biscuits anyway," Tim said. "He knows how much Dick likes them."

"Hmm," Dick said, reaching for another one. "I wondered why he kept letting me get away with just eating these."

Bruce just rolled his eyes, and then went back to his newspaper.

Dick didn't really know what to do with himself once everyone took off after breakfast. Everyone was doing last minute preparations for the party, or working on a case in the cave, and he wasn't really allowed to do much of either unless he was accompanied. Considering that the Marnix could either teleport or turn invisible, his family was a little concerned about leaving him alone.

It was Jason's turn to keep an eye on him at the moment, and Dick fell against him as he was trying to read a book in the sitting room. "Come on!" Dick pleaded. "You could offer to come with me! I'm gonna need a new dress."

"You said Donna's gonna bring you a dress," Jason reminded him.

"But you realize this is a once in a life time opportunity for me to see how the other side lives?" he asked. "I can't do that here! We're all weirdos already."

Jason's lips twitched, but he valiantly tried not to humor him. "We saw that yesterday," he said, flipping the page, "men are pigs."

"Ugh," Dick complained, but settled more against Jason, using him like a hard, lumpy muscle bound pillow. He wasn't used to being up this early, and he was exhausted, so he soon felt himself drift off.

Roy had wanted to come early to check on Jason. He knew that this was a big deal as much as Jason tried to shrug it off, and the official announcement had gone out this morning. He'd had to make his way through a mass of paparazzi just to get through the gate.

Alfred had greeted him kindly but obviously distracted, and pointed him towards the closest sitting room. Roy had expected to find him pacing, but he hadn't expected to find him sitting on the couch with a half-dressed knockout asleep against him.

"Wanted to come early to check on you," Roy said, giving a slow grin. "Looks like you're doing pretty well. I didn't even know you were seeing someone--I'm surprised Bruce let you have a sleepover."

Jason's expression had shifted to growing horror, and Roy frowned at the reaction. Jason shook his head. "Really?" he said. "This dickface? Not even if you paid me."

Then he pushed the petite woman right off the couch. Roy couldn't believe his eyes, but before he could even get angry on her behalf she had caught herself and come up in a roll.

She narrowed her eyes, raising into a crouch. "You will pay," she said, before launching herself at him with enough force they knocked the whole couch over. Jason wasted no time, flipping the woman off him so she landed hard on her back.

"Jason!" Roy cried, horrified. "What the hell?"

He grabbed Jason and pulled him back before he could go after her again, completely horrified. "Have you been exposed to something?" he demanded.

"He's just like that," the woman said, rolling over and then gracefully rising to her feet. Roy watched her with wide eyes. He'd known she was beautiful, but he hadn't really quite realized how beautiful. Even in the worn clothing and with her hair a mess, she looked like she belonged on the cover of a magazine.

Maybe she was some kind of siren, and he should let Jason go?

She stepped closer and he tensed, but she just leaned past the irritated Jason and kissed Roy on the cheek. "Thanks, Roy," she said, "you're my knight in shining armor."

Then she sauntered off and disappeared up the stairs. Jason elbowed him, and Roy let him go still staring after the mystery girl. "Jesus," he said, leaning back to keep her in sight. "what the hell, Jason, is that Donna's long lost sister or something?"

"Well you do call them the Wonder Twins," Jason said sullenly, as he leaned down to right the couch.

Roy froze, his brain stuttering to an abrupt stop. "What? No. No. What--"

Jason smiled blandly. "Tonight Dick Grayson will be playing the part of that spoiled Disney princess."

Roy's look of horror turned to concern the longer he had to process that. "You're not letting him go out looking like that, are you?"

"Not anymore," Jason said fervently.

Chapter Text

Bruce had cornered Dick the moment he'd slipped away from Jason, and now he was sitting on the edge of the dining table pretending to listen as he was lectured. It was just like old times, really.

"He threw me off the couch!" Dick finally protested. "I wasn't going to stay there, I'm still in the house, I can be alone for a minute."

"We still have no idea what we're dealing with," Bruce said tightly. "I haven't even had an update from Clark. We can't risk you being unsupervised--"

"I managed the whole night by myself," Dick reminded him, then went still when he saw a guilty flash in Bruce's eyes. "Bruce?" Dick said dangerously. "Tell me you don't have cameras in my room."

"They're monitored by AI, just for any distress or unknown intruders, no one is viewing--" Bruce started to explain.

Dick didn't want to hear it. "You are unbelievable!" he cried, hopping to his feet. "I'm done. Okay, enough is enough. I'll stay with Donna until this over--"

"You're not leaving this house," Bruce snapped. "You promised Cass."

"I didn't promise," Dick hedged.

"Master Dick," Alfred said, as he stepped in, impeccable timing as always. A minute later, and Dick would have been storming towards the door. "Mr. Wallace West is here to see you."

"Walls!" Dick cried, turning to completely ignore Bruce as Wally entered holding a garment bag.

Wally froze, his eyes going wide. “Dick?” he asked. “I heard…but, uh, wow.” Wally caught sight of Bruce’s thunderous expression, and blinked before turning away, blushing. “Uh, I mean here—“ He held out the bag.

Dick took it, tossing it over the table. “Not that I’m not glad to see you, but what happened to Donna?”

"We got a mission, so she asked me to bring the dress since I'm fastest,” he said, his eyes flickering nervously towards Bruce every other moment. Wally had always been a little bit of terrified of Bruce Wayne, and his presence at the moment was leaning more batman than billionaire.

"Guess that means you can’t be my date for the party?” Dick sighed, skipping forward to stand next to him.

"None of you are allowed to date without giving me notice to do a background check,” Bruce said tightly.

“You’ve done a background check on Wally.” Dick said with a roll of his eyes, not even looking back at Bruce. Some of his hair had come loose from the bun in his hair, framing his face and making him look even more angelic. Wally glanced down and noticed he was wearing Flash boxers. He went bright red.

"He didn't pass,” Bruce deadpanned.

Dick did turn then, narrowing his eyes. “Could we have a little privacy?”

Bruce gave Wally one more warning glare, like he’d been training with Superman to learn heat vision, and then stomped out of the room.

"Things are a little tense,” Dick tried to explain away his behavior. “We don’t know exactly what we’re dealing with.”

Wally's awkwardness faded instantly, like it had never been there at all. “Are you in danger?” he asked. “The team can go without me, you know if you need me I can—“

“It's fine, I've got enough bodyguards,” Dick promised wryly.

“You sure? You don’t even want to call Kory?” he asked. "She said she’d go to war with them for you."

Dick sighed. "Kory and I are...weird, right now," he admitted. “Just how many other people has Roy told? I know it wasn’t Donna.”

"He told the entire group chat," Wally said.

"I didn't get any group chat,” Dick said suspiciously, and Wally went pale as he realized the secret he'd let slip.

“It's not like that!” he promised. “It’s just the chat where we talk about how we're worried about you."

"Hmm," Dick said, narrowing his eyes. With his more delicate features, the effect was more…adorable, than intimidating, and Wally bit back a grin.

"I really will stay, you know,” he offered. “It’s just a standard mission, they won’t miss me. And anyway, you know I’d drop everything for you.”

"I'd never ask you to,” Dick said, his grin coming back. “And there’s no need, honestly. Between Bruce and my siblings, I haven’t even been able to get a moment alone. Cass is watching us right now.”

Wally had to backtrack and replay that. “…what?”

Dick just pointed up, and Wally’s gaze followed it, to find Cass sitting up in the rafters, swinging one leg and sucking on a lollipop. He didn’t know why he still bothered to be surprised.

Wally waved at her with a sigh. “Hey, Cass.”

Cass just waved silently back.

Dick laughed at Wally’s resigned expression, and patted him on the cheek. “Go take care of our team, I’ll be fine,” he said. “And hopefully I’ll be back to normal next time you see me.”

God I hope so, Wally thought fervently. Because how was he supposed to just talk to Dick normally when he was looking like that?

He’d have to be sure to check in on Dick extra often until this was resolved.

Jason was starting to get nervous. He’d been dreading this party enough without the complication of his stupidly attractive older brother turning into his stupid attractive older sister. Even Damian was twitchy, his hands clenching and unclenching futilely ever since Bruce had caught him and pried his katana free.

Tim at least seemed mostly unbothered. He had squeezed himself between a bookshelf and the wall, typing on his phone with manic movements. Cass had said she would attend, but he probably wouldn’t see her. He’d understood, and wished he’d also be allowed to disappear instead of being the center of attention.

Then again, he thought, as Dick appeared at the top of the stairs, maybe he wouldn’t be. He might not even mind Dick stealing the spotlight from him this time. He really didn't want it.

It was gross because it was Dick, but he was obviously objectively gorgeous. The dress Donna had chosen was a white ballgown with gauzy sleeves and iridescent tulle around the skirt. It shimmered like it was covered in diamond dust.

Dick's hair had been braided into an up do by Stephanie, with baby’s breath flowers woven into the strands. Jason, if he was randomly turned into a girl, would have still worn a tux. Leave it to Dick to be to this dedicated to playing a role he’d been cast.

The spell was broken when Dick flashed them a wicked grin and hopped onto the bannister, gracefully sliding down instead of walking down the stairs like anyone sane.

“Master Dick!" Alfred scolded, his voice seeming to come out of the ether, and Jason just sighed and crossed his arms.

"You're late," he said. “People started arriving twenty minutes ago.”

“Looking this good takes time, Little Wing,” Dick said.

"Then I wish you'd taken a little less time,” Damian said sullenly.

"Where's Stephanie?” Jason asked.

“What? Am I invisible?” Stephanie asked, appearing beside him. “Jeez, Dick, that necklace would be amazing for undercover work. You could play the distraction.”

Jason went pale at the thought, but Bruce beat him to the punch. “Absolutely not,” he said as he joined them. He glanced at Stephanie. “And you look lovely, Stephanie.”

“Thanks, I stole Dick’s TikTok dress,” she said, spinning around. “I just trimmed it to get rid of the street gunk on the hem. It's good as new!"

"You should all go in first," Dick said, leaning forward a bit to try and catch a glimpse of the ballroom. "I'll sneak in after."

"No," Damian said, and held out his hand formally. “You’re my plus one.”

"We'll say you're a distant cousin,” Bruce offered. “Tim is working on the identity now.”

A tired voice drifted to them from a dark corner of the room. “Ethel Martine, age 26. French national studying comparative literature at Gotham University. You graduate next semester.”

“Ethel," Dick repeated, frowning.

"Dick, you go by Dick,” Jason said. “Anything would be a step up.”

“I like it," Stephanie decided. “It makes your persona even more charming. You’re like a starlet from the twenties.”

Tim looked up, frowning. “That is the opposite of what I was going for.”

Jason leaned down to grab Tim’s hand and pull him up. “You did what you could,” he said. “Look what we’re working with.”

"What are you talking about?” Dick asked suspiciously.

"Enough bickering,” Bruce said. “Jason, you’re missing your own party. Let’s go.”

The Waynes made a splash when they entered, the way they always did. Already Vicki Vale’s eyes were practically glowing as she surveyed Jason and then turned with laser focus onto Dick, trying to place him. Jason made a note to stay as far away from her as possible. Maybe he could find Cass and she could share her hiding place.

Damian was firmly gripping Dick’s hand, looking ready to defend him to the death as the gazes rolled over them. Jason didn’t want any bloodshed so he’d never tell him to his face, but it was sort of adorable. Based on Dick’s smile as he whispered something, and Damian’s answering scowl, Dick would tell him to his face.

"Dance with me, Dami,” Dick said, pulling him away.

Jason nodded at Tim, and he slipped towards the back. Tim had camera access set up on his phone and would be monitoring everything. Stephanie would be working the room, looking for anyone suspicious. Dami would be running interference for anyone that wanted to get closer than three feet to Dick.

That just left him, without anything to prevent everyone from asking how he came back from the dead. Wonderful.

Bruce stepped beside him and put a hand on his shoulder. “Two hours,” he said quietly, “and if you can get Dick to leave with you, you have my permission to head out early.”

"That may be the nicest thing you’ve ever done for me,” Jason decided.

Bruce just let out a long-suffering sigh and headed further into the lion’s den. “Just get me, if you need me,” he told him.

"I'll die again first,” Jason muttered to himself, even as he felt himself warm a little at the offer. He knew how much those words actually meant, coming from Bruce. He’d learned from Dick how to translate him a bit better than he could before.

It just wasn't going to make the night any easier.

Dick had not been left alone for over an hour. Dami had been clutching his hand and glaring down anyone that wandered too close, so he’d only danced once. With Dami.

Dick understood, he did. But he didn’t get all dressed up not to dance! So when he was cornered by four different men the moment Dami finally had to run to the bathroom, he took up the first guy brave enough to offer a dance.

He didn’t recognize him, which was for the best, as he was less likely to ever see him again. He was also a wonderful dancer, so Dick almost didn’t notice at first, the way the man’s features seemed to flicker slightly before settling into something else.

He went stiff, but didn’t miss a step in the dance. “It’s Hilen, isn’t it?” he asked, his voice staying calm.

"I'm honored you've remembered my name," Hilen said.

"You had struck me as an honorable person, at the time,” Dick told him. "But I've been told I'm a questionable judge of character."

"It is my duty to return you to Marnix, Empress," he explained, not unkindly.

"This is a misunderstanding," Dick insisted. "I'm not your Empress. Why don't you take this necklace off and return it with my apologies instead?"

"There are not many that would turn down the opportunity to rule a world. It only makes me more certain of my emperor's choice of you," he said.

Dick caught Jason prowling through the ballroom out of the corner of his eye, and Damian scanning everyone nervously. Tim and Stephanie were, at first glance, only dancing, but on second glance, scoping out everyone else on the dance floor.

They were looking for something. They were looking for him, even though he was right in the center of the room.

"They can't see us," Hilen confirmed, just as Dick felt a sharp pain at his neck.

"Son of a bitch," Dick muttered, twisted out of Hilen's grip and then slamming a heeled shoe against the back of his knee, sending him crashing to the ground. He spun and reached out for Jason, but his hands went right through him. "Jason?" He turned again, looking for Bruce, and a couple waltzed right through him.

His breath caught, but he didn't feel anything. It was like he was a ghost.

"I am sorry about this," Hilen said, as he regained his footing. "But I have no illusions that I could win a fight with you, so I'm afraid I can't play fair."

Dick felt numbness start to spread through him, starting at his collarbone. The necklace seemed to warm against him. "What--wh--"

"Don't worry," Hilen said, as he caught him and gently lowered him down. The dancers continued moving to the music, oblivious, stepping right through them. "When you wake again, you will be safe at your new home."

Dick's vision was swirling, and the ballroom lights seemed three times their size. He saw Damian and reached out a hand, feeling relief for just a moment as Damian suddenly knelt beside him. But his brother didn't see him. Instead, he picked up one of Dick's clip on pearl earrings that had fallen to the floor.

"Dames--" he gasped, but even if he could reach him it would have done no good.

Damian tightened his fist around the earring, and stood, just as Dick lost his fight against unconsciousness.

Chapter Text

"He couldn't just disappear into thin air," Steph cried, for what Damian counted as the third useless time, "he was right there."

Damian didn't know why she bothered, his father was already bringing up the footage so they could see for themselves. Drake had slipped out the moment they realized Dick was gone, and come back as Red Robin to clear the ballroom due to a 'bomb threat.' This was fairly standard for Gotham, so no one had thought anything when leaving. But it meant they were already a half hour behind.

Cass had checked everyone that went out the door, and everyone was accounted for except one. And Richard.

"It was a guest of Donavan Hardley, he works in our law office," Bruce said grimly, but when they ran the images of him entering, his face was blurred, reflecting so much light the features could not be made out. "Tim questioned him, he said he was a new hire named Carter Smith. But Smith never left his apartment tonight."

"And that cheap suit is the same one that guy I chased down the street was wearing," Jason added. "But he didn't look anything like that Smith guy."

"Face changing technology then," Damian said grimly.

"Along with invisibility?" Stephanie asked in disbelief. "Because what the fuck?"

Damian turned his attention back to the screen just as his father was replaying it. Richard accepted a dance from the man without a face, and they both disappeared the second time he was twirled around in the dance. He tightened his grip on the only thing he could find left, the single pearl earring.

"He could have him anywhere by now," Jason said grimly.

"Then we will go anywhere," Damian said resolutely. "And we will get him back."

"Negotiations with Marnix are at a stand still," Bruce said tiredly. "If we make a move on them, they've threatened full out war. If they get him back to that planet--"

"Then we will go to war!" Damian shouted.

"Damian--" he started.

"No," Damian snarled. "We will not leave him to that...that pervert! I will go alone, if I must."

"You misunderstand," Bruce said. "I'm not suggesting we leave him there. Just that we need a plan. We should reach out to the league--"

"No," Tim said, the only one already in his suit, as he approached. "I've been keeping an eye on their comms, they obviously were not planning to give Dick up, but now that the Marnix have him they'll want to negotiate to get him back. They'll never agree with a faster action. And from what I've heard, the Emperor will never give him back willingly."

"You're thinking a stealth mission then," Bruce said thoughtfully.

"It might work if we're fast and catch them off guard. The Marnix rely too much on their technology," Tim agreed. "They don't have any kind of projectile or even close range weapons. That's how the team was able to get Dick back off the planet so easily after he was first transformed. Clark just grabbed him and they got back on their ship."

"It may not be easy this time," Bruce said.

"Then I will bring my katana," Damian said firmly.

"It took the team sixteen hours to reach the planet at our highest speed when they first went to Marnix, that could theoretically be cut down by half considering how advanced Marnix technology is," Tim continued.

"Which means we're already out of time," Jason said darkly, as he grabbed his phone and stepped away.

"We can borrow Diana's ship," Bruce decided. "Damian and Jason will come with me."

"If you hadn't noticed, I'm the only one of us that's done any research on Marnix," Tim snapped.

"I've done the research as well," Bruce said, glancing at him. "You think I'd leave the negotiations entirely to Clark?"

Tim clenched his jaw. "I'm going."

"Damian will kill us all if I try to leave without him," Bruce said, with Damian giving an agreeable little hum behind him. "Jason would find a way to get there on his own and just complicate matters. You, I need here."

Tim shook his head. "Unbelievable," he said. "You're leaving me behind because I'm the only one that knows how to behave?"

"I would never accuse you of being well behaved," Bruce promised. "But you are practical. We can't trace their technology. We can't even know for certain they've taken Dick off-planet. I need you here, trying to trace them, just in case. Someone has to hold down the fort. Someone has to be here, in case Dick got away from them. Cass and Steph will be staying too."

"Not happy about it," Cass said, glaring. "But yes. Makes sense."

"You would only slow us down anyway, Drake," Damian said smugly.

"Tim," Bruce said gruffly, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Please. I need you here. If this goes wrong, you're the one that's going to have to create a cover story to keep us out of a war."

"And here I thought you were sticking me with the easy job," Tim muttered. "Fine. Then you should go now. We can estimate Dick could be on that planet within the next eight hours, worst case scenario. You're going to be behind him, even in the best case. We don't know...we don't know what the Emperor will do, once he has him. We can't afford the lag."

"No, we can't," Bruce agreed, glancing up. "Where's Jason?"

Cass frowned and stepped away, picking a piece of paper up from the desk. She handed it to Bruce. It said: Got a plan. Meet you at the Watchtower.

"Irresponsible," Damian snapped. "We shouldn't wait for him, father."

It was not a good time for any of them to go rogue, but Bruce knew Jason wouldn't bother to answer if he tried to call him now. He crumpled the note, and tossed it back to the desk. "Let's go," he said.

Tim dropped down back in front of the computer, and slumped in the chair. Steph dropped down in the chair beside him, and rolled it over until it nudged him.

"Maybe you shoulda named him Helen, huh?" she asked, but Tim just glared at her, and she blew out a breath. "Tough room."

Dick woke up slowly, his mind muddled but not unpleasantly so. He'd woken up with enough concussions to know that this was something else, but his memory was hazy. It didn't feel like a typical kidnapping, at least. The surface beneath him was soft and comfortable, but there was something digging into his chest.

Oh, he remembered. It was that damn bra Stephanie had forced on him.

He pushed himself up carefully, blinking to take in his surroundings. He was on a bed that could rival a California King, lavender and white sheets piled atop of each other, with gauzy curtains hung all around him moving slightly with a breeze.

It was far too bright to be the manor, and with dread he glanced in the direction of the wind. The large room flowed out into a half circle balcony, glass paned doors opened wide to let in the air. The world outside it was pure white stretching to its horizon, covered in the fine grain sand that was unique to Marnix. The sky was tinged pink at the edge and bled to purple as it went further up--a large planet hung in the sky, looking larger and closer than the moon, with shimmering rings wrapped around it.

And if that wasn't enough of a tell, the large ten foot portrait of Arat Halxas on the wall across from him would have tipped him off.

"Fuck," Dick muttered. Such a beautiful planet, and the last place he wanted to be.

He was still wearing the ballgown, but his shoes were gone. He surveyed the room carefully, but he was alone. He would have suspected they didn't think he was a threat, but he had seen too much of their technology to think this room would be quite as easy to leave as it appeared. He still got up and checked the door -- which was predictably locked -- and then walked to the balcony anyway.

He raised a hand above the low railing, and a shimmering forcefield lit up across the space. Just because they didn't have any offensive weaponry didn't make them any less dangerous--which he'd learned during his ill-advised dance.

"Figures," he muttered, before pulling his hand back and waiting for the forcefield to disappear. Once gone, he carefully looked down. There was nothing but rocks and with high waves beating against them, at least two hundred feet down. Halxas' palace was ridiculously huge. He'd only been to the first floor on his last visit, but a quick look up confirmed he was now in its highest tower.

"You've got to be kidding me," he said. He'd been locked in a castle tower. His family would never let him live this down.

Assuming he got to see them again, that was.

First things first, he had to do something about the dress. It was fun to blend in for the party while it lasted, but it was hardly appropriate for an intergalactic escape. He used a sharp edge on the bedpost to rip the skirt, and pry off anything below his knees. By the end, he was surrounded by shredded taffeta and tulle like he was building a nest, but at least he could move without the heavy skirt dragging around him.

Now to do something about that door. He pulled out a hair pin, one that Cass had lent him and rather than a smooth edge the white butterfly head was attached to a lock pick. The door didn't have a lock, but there was a panel beside it that he was able to use the pick to wedge it loose. There were always certain universal commonalities even with alien technology, but when Dick removed the panel and saw a heavy lever it seemed too easy.

But the Marnix were not a warring people, and this obviously wasn't a normal prison. Maybe they really did just leave a manual door override, right there for him?

Well, it wasn't like he was gonna be able to resist pulling that lever one way or another. He pulled it, and the door hissed and then flew open. His victory lasted for about the three seconds it took for him to notice Hilen standing guard on the other side.

Hilen glanced down at his shredded skirt and raised an eyebrow. "Empress, you've ruined your dress."

Dick narrowed his eyes, and flipped the switch back, closing the door on him. He spun around and reached up to bite at a nail as he thought. There had to be a panel controlling the forcefield as well. Maybe it's true purpose was just keeping out bugs, and there was an off switch somewhere.

He had just stepped back towards the balcony when the door opened behind him. He turned, expecting to see Hilen, and saw Halxas instead. He was wearing a large grin, like they were friends being reunited, and had opened his arms as though he expected a hug. Dick stumbled back from him.

"My empress, you are finally safely returned," Halxas said, the door closing behind him. Dick wasn't exactly fond of Hilen, but being alone with Halxas seemed worse. "I've been terribly worried."

"I'm not your empress," Dick said firmly. "There's been a mistake."

"You agreed," Halxas said calmly. "You wear the gem of Alstaf. You are empress. But if you mean that we are not yet married, this is true, and will be rectified shortly."

"I wanted an alliance, you never mentioned marriage--" Dick started. "I can't...look, I have commitment issues. I'm sorry, it's not going to work out."

"There is no going back on your agreement, I'm afraid," Halxas said. "You have been mine since I put that necklace around your neck, and you will continue to be mine for all of time. The marriage is just a ceremony, but the bond has already been made."

"Why? Why would you want me to be--" Dick trailed off, unable to actually get out the words. It would have made far more sense for him to decide on Donna, though Dick would never have let him touch her.

"On Marnix we believe we can see those that are destined for us, and I knew the moment that I saw you, no other would ever do," Halxas stepped forward and Dick stepped back, hitting the stupid giant portrait that covered the entire wall. "You are safe here, I promise. I'll make you happy, I'll give you whatever you want."

"How about the next flight back to Earth," Dick said.

"Except for that, of course," Halxas said. "As my empress, you are not allowed to leave the palace without my permission and a sufficient guard. It is for your safety."

"So, what, you're just going to keep me prisoner?" Dick demanded. "Force me to stay here as a woman? Forever?"

"Oh, is that what has upset you?" Halxas asked. "If you don't want to continue to be a woman after you give me at least three heirs, you can certainly change back! I quite enjoy both of your forms, it is no concern to me which you would prefer."

"Three...three heirs," Dick echoed. He was suddenly finding it hard to breathe. "I won't let you touch me. I'll fight you. I'm more trouble than I'm worth. I'm sure there are plenty of--"

"I will not hurt you, be not concerned," Halxas said, frowning. "If you are not comfortable bearing children yet, we can wait as long as you'd like. You won't age, with that necklace on. We have plenty of time."

"Wait--what? What?" Dick cried, reaching up to wrap his fingers around the stone at his neck.

"We are a long-lived people," Halxas said. "Our technology can easily keep us young. It is something I would be happy to share with your world, if our union between worlds can be solidified. I am three hundred and twenty seven this year, did you not know?"

Dick absolutely did not know. The Marnix were generally isolationist and hard to create an alliance with. Apparently, because that required marriage, but that was besides the point. The point was, Dick was realizing they were far more advanced than any of them had realized. The 'no weapons' mantra was a smokescreen to hide all the things they were capable of. They didn't have weapons because they didn't need them.

"Don't you think you're too old for me?" Dick asked finally.

Halxas reached out and grabbed his chin, stilling his words and holding him firm. "I am willing to wait for you to get comfortable, I am willing to do that. I am not willing to give you up," he said, his voice going steely. "And we cannot wait on marriage. I need this to be set in stone before your Justice League arrives to resume negotiations in two days time."

"I'm not going to marry you," Dick promised.

"You will," he said. "And you will do it tomorrow. Because it is what is best for your people, and it is what is best for you."

Halxas let go of him, and spun back towards the door. "And do not worry," he called over his shoulder. "I will get you a new dress."