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Wikipedia
The Free Encyclopedia
The Avengers
The Avengers were an American-Russian-Norwegian rock supergroup formed in New York City by vocalists Tony Stark and Steve Rogers, guitarists Thor Odinson and Clint Barton, bassist Natasha Romanoff, and drummer Bruce Banner. The band members, all of whom had successful solo careers prior to joining the Avengers, were initially brought together in 2012 by industry executive Nick Fury, and their eponymous debut album is among the best-selling records of all time, spawning hit singles such as “Galaga,” “Puny God,” and “Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist.” Keyboardist Wanda Maximoff joined the Avengers ahead of the band’s 2015 release Age of Ultron, which saw the band adopting a more synth-driven sound and scoring another global hit with “Language!”. The Avengers were set to release a third album the following year; however, tensions began to boil between Stark and Rogers over the band’s relationship with its new record label and Rogers’ relationship with his former bandmate James “Bucky” Barnes. As a result, the Avengers split up in 2016, and due to ongoing legal issues, there are currently two incarnations of the band – Steve Rogers’ Avengers and Tony Stark’s Avengers, colloquially known as Team Cap and Team Iron Man.
Despite having only released two albums, The Avengers are well-known for their technical achievements, colorful costumes, skilled songwriting, and unique blend of influences, from Rogers’ rockabilly-tinged alternative rock to Odinson’s metal-influenced guitar performances to Stark’s slick, pop-oriented production style. The Avengers have sold over 200 million records worldwide, making them one of the best-selling music artists of all time, and in 2017, they were named by Rolling Stone as one of the greatest bands of the twenty-first century.
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State of the Scene
Thor Odinson vs. Loki Laufeyson: Inside Rock’s Pettiest Sibling Rivalry
“Thor? I haven’t seen him in years,” said singer/bassist Loki Laufeyson in a 2017 interview with State of the Scene. “But I’d rather eat my own helmet than play in a band with him again.”
Just last year, Thor and Loki’s ongoing feud was just as much a part of the Avengers’ public persona as Bruce Banner’s rage-filled drumming or Tony Stark’s sarcastic quips. A reconciliation between the adoptive siblings seemed unlikely, if not unthinkable.
And yet, the unthinkable has happened. Tomorrow, Thor Odinson and Loki Laufeyson will co-headline a benefit concert at the Statesman Theatre in Oslo, with all proceeds going to a project to rebuild the brothers’ hometown of Asgard, Norway. The concert will also feature Thor’s former Avengers bandmate Bruce Banner, who also collaborated with Odinson on his recent solo album.
Let’s take a look back at Loki and Thor’s conflicted history, from Thor’s feud with the Frost Giants to Loki’s infamous attempt to sabotage the Avengers’ debut album…
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“This is all your fault, Thor.”
Backstage at the Statesman Theatre, Thor and Loki were sitting in the catering room, the self-proclaimed God of Thunder indulging in a box of Pop Tarts as he tuned his precious guitar, Mjolnir. In just a few minutes, the two of them would walk onstage, and in Thor’s imagination, it would be like stepping back in time. His brother was a conniving, craven, pathetic worm, but they’d had some good times together back in the day, when they were just two kids from Asgard, playing Guns ‘n Roses covers in whatever venue would have them.
And Thor could use a dose of nostalgia. He’d lost a lot lately, gotten a little too familiar with that aching feeling in his chest. His parents were both dead. Jane had broken up with him. He’d lost his right eye in a brawl. And now, his hometown was gone forever. They could rebuild it, but no amount of grand re-openings would ever bring back the Asgard of his youth.
“My fault?” Thor finally said to his brother, still tuning his guitar. “How is it my fault?”
“We wouldn’t have to do this stupid benefit concert if you and Bruce hadn’t gone on some drunken road trip around Scandinavia and destroyed half of Asgard in the process,” Loki said as he propped his feet up on the table. “I still haven’t figured out how you did it. Trashing a hotel room is one thing, but an entire city?”
“For the last time, I did not destroy Asgard!” Thor shouted, although even he wasn’t entirely sure that was true. He’d gone home to record his third solo album, but the rest of it was a blur. He remembered a creature made from stone, a gladiator fight, Jeff Goldblum, someone named Valkyrie, a woman who looked a bit like Loki...
“It was our sister Hela,” Thor said. “She was the one who wrecked Asgard.”
“But we don’t have a sister,” Loki said, confused. “Unless you’re counting yours truly, the genderfluid God of Mischief, but I am feeling a little more like a brother than a sister at the moment…”
“I wasn’t the one who wrecked Asgard,” Thor said. “Bruce can back me up on this. Right, Bruce?”
“Don’t ask me,” Bruce said from the dressing room. “I don’t even remember recording Ragnarok.”
Thor adjusted his eyepatch and then turned to Loki. “You’re just jealous because I got big in America and you didn’t.”
“Hey, at least I never sold out and wrote a pop album with Tony Stark.”
“At least I never faked my own death for tax purposes. Twice!”
“Could you two stop fighting?” said Heimdall, Thor’s best friend and longtime manager. “We’re doing this for Asgard.”
“Right,” Thor said. “For Asgard!”
Before Loki could respond, there was a knock at the door, and Thor turned around to see two men he didn’t recognize – one with purple hair and one that bore a strange resemblance to Squidward. Both of the brothers did a double take, and Thor leaned over and whispered to Loki, “Who are those guys?”
“Uh, long story,” Loki said. “But do you remember that time I tried to break up the Avengers? That guy paid me to do it.”
“Hear me, and rejoice!” said Squidward. “You have the privilege of meeting the Great Titan, the Prophet of Punk, the Most Powerful Man In The Music Industry, the Almighty Perpendicular Grape. Smile...for even in death, you will become Children of Thanos.”
“Forgive my assistant,” Thanos said as he ran a hand through his ridiculous purple hair. “Ebony has a bit of a...flair for the dramatic.”
“What do you want?” Thor said.
“I thought you might be interested in…” Thanos dug through his pockets and then pulled out a crumpled piece of paper and showed it to the brothers. “This.”
“I’m still working on the design,” Thanos admitted.
“Impossible,” Thor scoffed. “The Avengers broke up two years ago, you can’t fit all of those bands into one day, and you couldn’t possibly have all of this organized by tomorrow.”
“Oh, but I can,” Thanos said. “And I’ll charge the people a hundred thousand dollars to see it! Luxury accommodations! All-inclusive pricing! A once-in-a-lifetime reunion show from Earth’s Mightiest Rock Band!”
“The Avengers aren’t playing your festival, Thanos,” Thor said. “End of story.”
Thanos shrugged, but just as it looked like he was about to leave, he pulled out a bright purple microphone, which almost seemed to be glittering under the lights.
Loki stared at the mic, fascinated. “Is that…?”
“The Mic of Power,” Thanos said. “One of the six instruments in the Infinity Collection. This microphone is prophesied to save rock and roll...and to destroy it. Now, if only I had the rest of the collection...”
While Loki marveled at Thanos’ microphone, the music festival organizer smirked, certain that he had the black-haired bassist in the palm of his hand. “The Tesseract, or your brother signs on to play at the Infinity War Fest,” he suddenly said to Loki. “I assume you have a preference.”
“Oh, I do,” Loki said. “Sign away!”
“Wonderful,” Thanos said. “So Thor, I have this great marketing strategy for the festival. We’ll have Instagram influencers, themed credit cards, Kidz Bop collaborations, exclusive, branded, promotional NFTs...do you know what those are? Two million dollar drawings, slowly killing the planet. Most of them aren’t even good. And they’ll all have your face on it…”
Thor screamed in agony at the mere mention of NFTs, yelling and howling and wailing until Loki simply couldn’t take it anymore. “ALRIGHT, STOP!” the bassist shouted.
Thanos stopped talking for once, and Thor turned to him and said, “We don’t have the Tesseract. It was destroyed in Asgard.”
Of course, that was exactly when Loki pulled out his bright blue bass – affectionately nicknamed the Tesseract – and casually strummed a few notes. As soon as he saw what Loki was doing, Thor let out an exaggerated sigh and said, “You really are the worst, brother.”
“I assure you, Thor,” Loki said, stepping closer to Thanos, bass in hand. “We’ll get our bass back. We’ll rebuild Asgard. We’ll play the Statesman and every other venue in Europe. The sun will shine on us once again.”
“Your optimism is misplaced, Asgardian,” Thanos said, eyeing the bright blue bass.
Loki suddenly stopped in his tracks. “Well, for one thing, I’m technically not Asgardian. And for another…” He paused for dramatic effect, milking the silence for all it was worth, and then said, “We have a Hulk.”
That was when Bruce burst out of the dressing room and immediately sprinted onstage, screaming “HULK SMASH!” as he pummeled the kit, his sticks violently striking the snares as he took out every bit of anger, every last shred of rage on the drum set.
“SHOWTIME!” Thor shouted, chasing after his animal of a drummer. “LET’S GO!”
“But what are you guys even playing?” Heimdall asked. “You never decided on a setlist.”
“Love’s A Dagger, obviously,” Loki said, still holding onto the Tesseract.
“Do we have to play one of your songs, brother?”
“Do you have any better ideas?”
Thor and Loki burst onto the stage, and as the fans chanted their names, Thor knew what he had to do. He grabbed onto Mjolnir, and he unleashed a fiery guitar solo, going right into “Love Is A Dagger,” one of Loki’s latest releases. The God of Thunder shredded his way through the song, and as his fingers flew across the fretboard, the crowd went wild, screaming every single lyric at the top of their lungs.
And then there was the drum solo. In all the years Thor had known him, Bruce had always been an energetic drummer, but he was on fire tonight. As the guitars roared, he smashed the bass drum to the beat, pounding out note after note, slamming on the drums like a hurricane, like an unstoppable force of nature...
“You won’t get away from me that easily.”
That was when Thanos stepped onstage, pushed Bruce away from the drum set, and began to play. As Thanos kept time, Thor looked back at his new drummer, wondering what on earth was going on. However, when Thor and Loki both stopped playing out of sheer confusion, Thanos banged out the drum solo from “Love Is A Dagger.” As he played, he sped up the tempo, the beat going faster and faster until his sticks were nothing more than a blur, his arms were moving at a breakneck pace, and the music was so speedy, so technical, so impossibly fast that Thanos’ performance was nothing short of magic.
While Thor looked back at Thanos, baffled, the audience burst into thunderous applause. “THANOS! THANOS! THANOS!” they chanted, and the God of Thunder looked toward his bandmates, wondering how they’d all let some purple-haired con man steal the show, not to mention how he’d somehow managed to outplay the Hulk.
“Thank you!” Thanos shouted to the crowd. “If you want to hear more, come to my luxury, all-inclusive music festival – featuring the Avengers! Tickets are going fast, so make sure to buy them today!”
“This is a disaster,” Heimdall muttered to the band from backstage. “Let’s cut our losses and get tickets on the next flight to New York. We can figure out what to do about Thanos and the Infinity War Fest from there.”
“Uh, I actually can’t leave Scandinavia,” Loki said. “Forgot to renew my passport.”
“Me too,” Thor said.
“I’ll book a flight for Bruce then,” Heimdall said, pulling out his phone while Bruce silently exited the stage and Thanos worked the crowd from behind the drum set.
“We can turn this around, right?” Thor said, looking back at his manager. “Just had a bit of a rough start.”
“Says the guy who recorded The Dark World,” Thanos said to Thor. “Maybe if you’d had better management…”
“NO! Thor shouted back, a little too eager to defend his childhood friend. “YOU’RE GOING TO DIE FOR THAT!”
“Shut up, Thor,” Thanos said. “You could do better than the so-called Gatekeeper of Asgard.”
Thor glanced toward Loki – even with all of the insults that had been unfairly thrown in Heimdall’s direction, the show had to go on. They had to keep playing, even if everything was going wrong, even if Thanos had taken over the concert, even if Bruce was already packing up to go to New York, even if the fans were booking tickets to the Infinity War Fest at that very moment...
And that was when Ebony Maw burst onstage, stole Loki’s bass, and handed it to Thanos.
“Hey!” Loki shouted. “What was that for?”
“My humble personage bows before your grandeur,” Ebony said as he presented the Tesseract to Thanos. “No other being has ever had the might, nay, the nobility to wield not one, but two instruments of the Infinity Collection.”
Thanos scraped a bit of paint off of the instrument, only to reveal a Stone Musical Instruments logo. “The Bass of Space,” he said. “Just as I suspected.” Thanos marveled at the bass for a moment and then said, “There are two more of these in America. Find them, my children, and bring them to me on Titan.”
“We will not fail you,” Ebony said.
“If I might interject,” Loki interrupted. “If you’re going to America, you might need a guide. I do have a bit of experience in that arena.”
“I thought you said your passport expired?” Thor said.
“Be quiet, brother,” Loki whispered before turning back to Thanos. “I did a US tour back in 2012. Went from coast to coast, won over a lot of fans. I can show you all the best venues, studios, pizza restaurants, whatever you need. Did you know I’m the best-selling Norwegian doom metal bass guitarist in America? All because of one show opening for the Avengers at Madison Square Garden.”
“I sent you on that tour to break up the Avengers, and you failed.”
“Still counts,” Loki insisted. He took a deep breath and then said, “I, Loki, prince of Asgard...Odinson...the rightful king of the Jotunheim death metal scene...God of Mischief...do hereby pledge to you my undying fidelity.”
“Undying?” Thanos said as Loki slipped his fingers around the neck of his bass.
Loki nodded, his grip around the instrument tightening, but Thanos suddenly glanced toward the Tesseract. “You’re trying to steal your bass back,” he said.
“Yes, obviously,” Loki replied.
Thanos then looked toward Loki’s other hand, and his eyes instantly widened. “And you were going to stab me.”
“Only as a warning,” the bassist said as he put away his dagger.
“For the love of God, Loki,” Heimdall said from backstage. “Are you really going to make me call the legal team again? Nelson and Murdock have enough to deal with right now.”
“You should choose your words more carefully,” Thanos said to Loki before taking the Tesseract from him, lifting it high in the air, and then swinging it at the black-haired bass player. Loki jumped out of the way, but it was no use. The instrument whacked him in the arm, and the bassist yelped as his wrist cracked into an unnatural position, blood and pieces of bone splattering across the stage.
“LOKI!” Thor cried out. “Are you okay?”
Loki groaned, desperately clutching his broken wrist. “It...OW! It really hurts...” he finally said, tears brimming in his blue eyes. “And I...I’m never going to be able to play again.”
“You don’t know that, brother,” Thor said.
“It’s the end of my career,” Loki said. “I’m never going to recover from this.” Loki then looked toward Thanos, who was already running offstage. “You,” he said, with venom in his eyes. “You...will never be...a rock star.”
“I’m calling an ambulance,” Thor said.
“No, I’ll do it,” Thor’s manager said to him. “The show must go on.”
Heimdall was right. As always.
Thor gave his brother a quick hug, his vision becoming blurred with tears, but as Heimdall finally dragged Loki offstage, Thor picked up Mjolnir, knowing what he had to do. Bruce was already on his way home. Thanos and Ebony were off to kill another rock star’s career. Loki and Heimdall were on their way to the hospital.
Thor was the last one standing.
He had to keep the show going.
“Well, I guess you’re getting a Thor Odinson solo show tonight,” he said to the crowd, blinking back tears. “But this one goes out to my brother Loki. It’s, uh, one of his songs.” Thor strummed the first few notes on his guitar, tapping his boot to keep time.
“It’s called Glorious Purpose.”
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avengers schmavengers (TEAM IRON MAN FOREVER)
platypus: tony did you change everyone’s nicknames again
genius billionaire playboy philanthropist: my group chat, my rules
double agent: ugh not this again
enormous green rage monster: hey can someone in nyc pls pick me up from the airport. flying into laguardia at 5 am tomorrow.
enormous green rage monster: @Stephen Strange
bleecker street magician: yeah sure whatever
double agent: @Bruce Banner aren’t you supposed to be in norway with thor?
enormous green rage monster: long story i’ll explain later
double agent: and why did you tag doctor strange? he’s not even in the band.
enormous green rage monster: because i need a fucking drink
not beyonce: free drinks at the sanctum sanctorum for our favorite customers!!
bleecker street magician: you’ll have to pay if you want something a little stronger though ;)
enormous green rage monster: thanos is coming
enormous green rage monster: thanos is coming
enormous green rage monster: he’s coming he’s coming he’s coming
bleecker street magician: who???