Chapter Text
“Do you think we’ll ever meet again?” He fidgets his index fingers, and by the tone in his voice he was clearly aware something will come to an end. But why now? It’s too early, isn’t it?
“What do you mean? Don’t say things like that..!” Another voice interrupted his thoughts, the smooth, soft and gentle voice he got used to after all these months.
“I’ll miss you. I’m really sorry,” He hugs the other boy, so tightly he never wants to let go. The confusion of the other never left him, but he chose to wrap arms around the sobbing boy’s torso.
He doesn’t want to say it, and he thinks his throat also agrees with him. It hurts to say it. But when he managed to calm down, only a bit, he starts to progress.
“G—good..
bye..”
Although for him, there was never a good in bye’s.
“—Then we’ll watch the stars, oh and the special stars! What was that called again? Onii-chan? Heeeyyy?”
A waving hand close to Tsukasa’s face cleared his sight that was blurry before the voice spoke up. He snapped out of his ..‘likely-to-be-insane’ thoughts and saw two familiar figures, his little brother and sister; Touya and Saki. He grinned sheepishly and simply replied, “Sorry, come again?”
Tsukasa saw his sister pouting and crossing her arms, just like what she does at times, which he found amusing. “Since I am a nice sister, I’ll repeat it for the bestest big brother in the whole universe!”
He softly smiled at the title. He repeated it in his mind, ‘bestest big brother in the whole universe!’ It meant a lot to him.
“Ahem! as I said, ‘what was those special stars in the sky again’?”
Oh, those. Believe it or not, he used to make wishes whenever he gets the chance to see the ‘special stars’ his sister mentioned thinking it would grant whatever he said. Just as expected, nothing happens. And now, he finds it useless to make stupid wishes to a star you used to believe in.
“It’s called ‘shooting stars’.” He wants to say it’s not worth it, he wants to say ‘just ignore it.’ However, Tsukasa doesn’t intend to ruin his sibling’s imagination. He frowns after seeing them look happy talking to eachother, full of hope. While him, empty inside.
Still, whatever makes them happy, he’ll be happy too. It’s silly to admit, but he will let everyone know he cares a lot for them. No matter what, he’ll be there for his family, to support his family.
He promises this, that he’ll always look out for them.
All the joyful, happy moments turned upside down because of the assasination of his beloved parents.
Tsukasa observed the mournings of a lot of people standing beside the grave of his parents. It was a sad, rainy day. It’s like the clouds above was also crying for the their parents, too.
However, he felt nothing. He felt empty. Tsukasa feels that he’s different from the others, and that he’s the only one who felt like this. The tear drops of the rain disguises his face like he’s crying while it’s actually covering his actual emotion.
Everything is too blurry, he looks down but he can’t even read his parent’s name anymore. It’s blurred, And he stares blankly.
One by one, people were starting to leave the siblings on their own. Saki was kneeling down, you can hear her sobs even from far away. She didn’t care that the rain was wetting her beautiful dress at all. The unusual, hurting feeling absorbs her whole.
On the other hand, Touya was rubbing circles onto his sister’s back, he was crying, too. How could one never cry at a family’s death?
Kanade? She was hugging Tsukasa tightly. How emotionless she was when she was with other people, at times, she was smiling too. Kanade can be intimidating, but she wasn’t careless.
She sniffed and sniffed, trying to hold her voice back from letting out a sob, but then again, failed. Kanade let out small sobs as she buried her face on brother’s chest in order to muffle it. Tsukasa hugged the other back, opening his mouth to let words of comfort to speak up.
All of this, and Tsukasa still doesn’t understand, he had hope for the stars that time. What did he expect, honestly?
Nothing. No faith, no hope, no happiness.
July 4, 2015. He tried, but he was too weak.
“Saki.. please answer the door.”
No response. Although that didn’t stop him from hearing those pained sobs he could hear from the other side of the door. Will I ever find a way to put these broken pieces get together again?
“Onii-chan, leave me alone please..”
Finally, a response. It was a disappointing one, though. He frowns at the unusual-kind of his sister, Saki, although he doesn’t want to sadden his sister further more, he says his last sentences before he leaves.
“Love you, goodnight. Sleep well, Saki.”
Not waiting for another response with the tone that makes Tsukasa cry inside, he walks to his exaggerated room, he doesn’t bother to change. He turns off the light, leaving the blue-like light to shine over the window of his room that was attacked by non-stop rain drops. Tsukasa jumps on the bouncy bed, and lets out a loud sigh.
“What a tiring day..” Tsukasa groans, burying his face on a pillow. He rolls over to face the ceiling, seeing nothing but pitch black with a blue light that was shaped like his window. It had the shadow of the water drops from outside.
He closes his eyes, awaiting for a ‘fresh’ start tomorrow.
There he thought it would be a good start of the day.
Tsukasa’s head was throbbing so bad, It hurts like hell. He rubbed his temples, pressing them so hard. And when he walked over to the mirror, Tsukasa nearly screamed when he saw his self infront of it.
He observed every worst things on his face.
Dark eyebags, his blonde with faded strawberry pink coloured, messy, tangled, shoulder-length hair, drool on the side of his mouth, down to his chin. This is one of the worst physical, and mental state Tsukasa has ever been in.
‘Did I really lose track of the time yesterday?!’
He hears a light chuckle on the side of his open? door, since when was it open? Tsukasa doesn’t remember hearing the click of the doorknob and the creaking of his door.
“You look really stupid, go take a shower.” Kanade says with her hoarse voice. She was crying, Tsukasa frowns. He tries to say something, but his throat doesn’t force him to speak up. So instead he just nods. Kanade raises a brow, but chooses to ignore, and that’s where she finally left the room.
Tsukasa sighs in relief, though he keeps his promises, so he grabs his flower-scented white coloured towel and opens the door to the bathroom.
He closes, and it took quite some time to undress himself for his outfit was too-extra. It’s the life of a royal, and their outfits has so many layers your forehead would be full of sweat.
As the water mixed of cold and hot temparature (making it just the right temperature) hit his hair, then his face, then now his body. He sighs at the calming sensation.
...
What’s the purpose of life?
Tsukasa’s head was filled with incomprehensible thoughts, and it might take him an hour or so to finish washing if he keeps spacing out with the useless questions in his mind.
It doesn’t feel the same, it doesn’t feel right anymore. He can see the visible dark circles underneath his siblings’ eyes. Saki’s head was ducked under her crossed arms, not bothering to eat the delicious food infront of her. Touya had already finished his meal, and now he was staring at whatever he could see and space out on it. Kanade was eating slowly, but surely, she also was staring blankly while chewing her food.
Tsukasa? he was the one observing all of this. He didn’t even eat a half of his food yet, it felt so wrong, they were just happy and calm the other day. And right now, it felt lonely without the voice of their parents and the joyful laughters while they all ate together.
The table was pretty big and wide, yet it was only the four of them who was there. The maids were doing works for the palace as that’s what their duties are, the knights were outside, of course they were guarding the gate to the castle. More people were working and working continously and since their home was that large, It wasn’t easy to do as what they asked to do. It was a quiet, busy day for the Tenmas.
He eats the rest of his meal, it tasted not quite right as the same as before but he ignored the feeling.
He decides to go to the garden, to get fresh air and calm his self down. He lets himself fall onto the grass, laying down while looking up to the sky. He sighs, I wish I could go back to where everything was still okay.
He feels the air blow his hair, making the long blonde locks fly to the direction of the wind. He smiles, not that wide, but just in the right position. Tsukasa feels someone sitting beside his head, and when he opens his eyes he sees Kanade.
“It is such a quiet day today, isn’t it?” Kanade declares. Tsukasa looks at his sister, then squinted at the bright sun. Although she’s right, It’s too quiet today. He can only hear the birds chirping outside, the wind blowing, he doesn’t quite remember all of it but he’s sure he can hear everything.
Tsukasa sighs, it’s because of our parents’ death, there’s no other reason than that.
“Say, do you wanna explore for a bit? like.. go outside, maybe. I mean like that kind of outside, you know?” Kanade looks at Tsukasa, seeing her brother sit up like he’s thinking of an idea. She tilted her head, looking at the direction Tsukasa was looking at too.
“Hey, see that forest? You said to explore for a bit. Wanna go there?”
Kanade thought about it for a moment, aren’t forests dangerous like what they said? But then again, it’s Tsukasa. He likes taking risks, that’s what she knows the most about her brother.
“Fine, but you have to promise we won’t.. get injured or encounter an enemy, or something else more risky! I know you that well!” She stood up, then next, she pulled Tsukasa to stand up too. Kanade wasn’t really that sure if she wants to go or not, but.. she wants to try.
“Now, don’t get sulky. You got the idea!” Tsukasa laughed and starts to run, not waiting for another amusing response from his sister. Getting closer to the place that he believed there were magical creatures, nice views, and the beautiful gardens, too! He may think all of that, but Kanade is supposedly.. the opposite.
“Woah..!”
The two siblings wandered their eyes around, just as Tsukasa imagined in his head, it was such a gorgeous sight that he can’t help but continue to gaze. Kanade, on the other hand, felt a foreign feeling that made her stunned to look at the place where she and her brother is at right now. Where they were standing on.
“Kanade, look— look at this!— OW!”
Kanade was snapped out of her mind when she saw someone, specifically her brother, accidentally stumble his head onto a goddamn tree . She gasped unintentionally, eyes widening.
“TSUKASA!”
“Wi.... be okay?.... I.... worried...”
Tsukasa hears muffled voices, one that sounded familiar, and two which were.. not quite unrecognizable to him. Oh no, were those two voices strangers?! He attempts to get up, but then he suddenly feels his head throbbing, immediately letting out a loud groan that was obviously heard by the so-called ‘strangers’ now.
Tsukasa blinks numerous times, opening his eyes once again just to be met with three foggy figures, someone pink, someone purple, someone grayish-blue. He tries to rub his eyes really hard, and finally clearing the sight that was blurry before.
“Wh...what the..”
“Tsukasa! Finally, you’re awake! You were asleep for who knows how many hours!!” Kanade hugs her brother so tight he almost choked, he squirms under the touch, trying to escape from the suffocating-hug his sister gave. I CAN’T BREATHE—
“O—okay let gooo!!! I—I know now!!!” and with that, Kanade finally lets go. Tsukasa coughs, two times, then three times, before finally coming into peace. That was an intense session of hugging what the h—
“HIHIHIHI!!! I AM OOTORI EMU! EMU IS MEANING SMILE! I CAN TURN INTO A CAT IF YOU’D LIKE!” The pink girl shifts into a cat, wh—?! “A DOG!” then to a dog, “OR A TIGER!!” then to a big tiger that almost taked all the space they had. “How about you?! What’s your name? What’s your name?!”
“I—! What?!—” Tsukasa gets cut off again.
“Emu, calm down, he just woke up. Let’s not pressure him, yes?” A smooth, soft voice uttered. Tsukasa sees ‘Emu’ frown at the purple—haired boy’s words. Who are these people?—
“Oh, I don’t think I have introduced myself yet,” the purple boy stated, “I’m Kamishiro Rui, nice to meet you.” Rui grinned and held out a hand to hold Tsukasa’s. Huh.. Rui..
“Oh.. nice to meet you too,” He grabbed the other’s hands and shaked them.
Suddenly, he got déjà vu of the touch.
What the?! Tsukasa pulls his hand back in a panic, Although he didn’t intend to, it wasn’t him, he assumes it’s just a stupid body reaction. “Tsukasa?! Are you okay?” He hears his sister talk again.
“Uhm, yes, thanks.” Tsukasa flushed in embarrassment, muttering a ‘sorry’ for the sudden movement. Rui and Emu glanced at eachother before the other boy says ‘it’s okay’, And he thinks he might need a lot more rest.
What was that?
Notes:
yees that’s all.. rushed ending, i unfortunately ran out of ideas.
I LITERALLY DON’T KNOW HOW TO WRITE SLOW BURN I’M SORRY, but for the sake of this fic i’ll do it for slowburn fans...🙏
i’m not notifying ash i already posted the first chapter
OKAY THATS ALL THANKS
Chapter 2: IF
Notes:
boku no jinsei no mae ni aru if to lie
doko ni itatte mo tarareba o touwwelcome to chapter 2?? i wrote this Bcs ASH Is taking too long im sorry ash i have to i cant ler anyone wait
sorry for my cringy writing i had to search google for fancy words befause yes
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“I’ve never seen anyone come in this forest before!! You guys are a special one!” Emu exclaimed, she swinged her arms from left to right like an excited kid.
Rui had suggested to explore deeper into the forest to clear their minds, although it took a while to convince Kanade considering she was told that ‘forests are too dangerous to be explored’. As for Tsukasa, he never believed in those kind of rumors. In his imagination, he think it’s a magical place where anyone would be mesmerized by it. Tsukasa thinks people gets frightened or disgusted because of the sight of the forest’s darkness. They just haven’t entered it and explore it! People these days, so quick to assume.
“Lucky for us, we’re glad we have people to guide us here. If you two didn’t hear my shout, I think Tsukasa would be dead by now.” Kanade says with no emotion nor facial expressions at all while picking a leaf from a tree. Tsukasa was quick to react and glared at her, and Rui finds the scene amusing.
“Hey?! I just didn’t see the tree infront of me!” Tsukasa stopped walking and argued, taking 100% offense from his own sister. “That’s when you know you aren’t paying attention to your surroundings, it was literally right infront of you!” Kanade argued back, and she has a point.
“Well, I!— um..” Tsukasa didn’t know what to say, am I seriously letting myself lose again? He slowly lowers his head down and sighs, with the action Kanade looked smug and let out a ‘hmm?’. “Fine! You win! But next time, I will have victory!” He ran off with a pout on his face.
Kanade sighs and looked down, continuing to walk. “It was never even a competition to begin with. He really needs to be careful. He always worries me and our siblings.” She told Emu and Rui with a frown. The said duo looked at eachother before giving Kanade a sad look.
“Is that so? Well, I should catch him before he gets an injury again.” Rui plastered a smile on his face. “Please do, thank you.” Kanade nodded at Rui and smiles slightly, As a response the purple-haired boy gave a bow and left walking faster than them.
Kanade slightly widens her eyes at his movement a second ago and left her face confounded. “U—uh.. Keep safe!” She shouted, voice echoing a bit. Kanade scratched her long hair and finally moved her legs to walk again.
“Are you a princess? Maybe that’s why Rui-kun gave a bow!! He may have sensed you are a royal because of the dress you’re wearing!” Emu gave a giggle, her eyes were full of sparkles. I almost forgot she was here, what a bad person I am. Kanade gave her a nervous smile before saying a response.
“I mean.. some people dress like this too.. and it’s normal to give a bow to a person as a show of respect, right? but It’s not like I wasn’t comfortable with it! I was just caught off guard, if you understand what I’m saying.” They both continued walking — Kanade tried not to maintain an eye contact to not make things awkward for the both of them.
“Can I ask you more questions?!”
“...Yes, sure..”
Their journey continues a long way ahead.
“H.. How many hours has it been?!” Tsukasa complained, letting his body drop to the ground and kept panting. While the other Tenma, Kanade, who was lost in thought, eyebrows furrowing. She felt like something’s missing, but she can’t think of anything. Her mind was going crazy, but not that crazy. She wants the feeling to go away. She felt all calm and nice a few moments ago, what happened now?
“Hmm, we still have a long way to go, but we can rest if you want to!” Rui stops on his tracks and instead walked over to the three who’s already tired-looking. He sits besides Tsukasa’s drained-out body and he quickly sees Kanade staring at nothing; or spacing out. Rui squints his eye at her and furrows his brows.
“Are you alright?” He eyed the tenma-sister to not confuse anybody. He notices Kanade little bit flinch when his soothing voice snapped her out of her thoughts, and that made Rui get suspicious of her even more. “I’m fine. Just a little problem, lots of things going inside my head though. I feel like something’s missing.” he sees Kanade giving a sheepish smile, like trying to shake it off and forget about it. It doesn’t convince Rui but he slowly nodded.
..and then silence occurs.
Before Tsukasa opens his eyes widely at the moment realization hits him.
“SAKI AND TOUYA! Oh no! Kanade, what are we going to do?! We can’t just leave them inside the palace! They’re literally younger than us!! What if they don’t know what to do, or someone did something bad to them?! I’m a bad brother!” Tsukasa said in a panic with his voice faltering. Kanade raised her brows and turned her head to look at her brother, in a quick moment she stood up furiously, lips quivering.
She sighs and tries to calm herself down, putting a hand to her chest. “Do any of you two have a way to bring us back? We’d really like to spend more time with you guys but I’m afraid we have to go home. We must have worried them even more.”
Tsukasa saw Rui grin at that. “Fufu. With just a snap of my fingers, you will be returned to your home.” The blonde felt relieved, but at the same time he can tell he would feel and be lonely again after leaving Rui and Emu. Kanade nodded, taking and holding Tsukasa’s arm just to make sure he will be beside her after Rui does his.. what do you call this again? teleporting skill??
Emu pouted, “...awww.. Rui and I will miss you guys! Come back again next time!” She hugged the two, seeing them nod at her, Emu stepped back and that’s when the wizard, Rui made a noise out of his fingers. With a blink of an eye, the royals were out of their sight.
Notes:
GOOD LORD GUESS WHEN I STARTED WRITING CHAPTER 2?? SEPTEMBER 6 SOMEWHERE 😀😀😀 AND WRITER’S BLOCK HAPPENED.
sorry fir mistakes i rushed this today and MY HEAD HURTS
Anonymous Creator on Chapter 1 Tue 06 Sep 2022 10:22AM UTC
Last Edited Tue 06 Sep 2022 10:22AM UTC
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