Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Cars are a universal thing, used by the rich and poor and with so many to choose from, they quickly become an accessory for the rich and famous.

From this, a particular type of car quickly gets paired off to whom would best suit. For instance, when one thought of Bruce Wayne, they thought Audi and sleekness, top of the range everything and leather interior. Sometimes even a Lamborghini with perfect enough curves to be deemed worthy enough to be Mr. Wayne's date for the night.

And through Gotham City and even the whole of America, when one thought of the Batman, there was only one car.

Nay, only one beast deemed worthy enough for the dark knight.

With armour thicker then Superman's biceps and wheels with a better grip than Wonder Woman in an arm wrestle, glass stronger than Green Lantern's will power and with more power underneath the hood then Lex Luthur could ever dream of, she truly was a beast worthy for the Batman to sit astride upon.

The Dark Knight’s own dark steed.

With the arrival of the Batmobile, the villains of Gotham City also quickly got paired off with their own theme of car.

The Joker got known for having his bright pink Lamborghini, the penguin with his Bentley and the Riddler his bright green and question mark covered Lotus. While the villainous men stuck to one particular type of vehicle, the woman where known for changing, always keeping with one thing in similar though. The Gotham Sirens where notorious for this.

Poison Ivy always stuck to anything that was the environmentally safe, while Harley Quinn liked anything fast and sleek (she absolutely adored Mr. J's Lamborghini, perhaps loved it even more then Joker did) But Catwoman would always, without a doubt, take anything convertible.

If it had no roof, Selina Kyle had probably owned, stolen or driven it. So when she was welcomed into the Bat family, she was not impressed with the Batmobile. Yes it was fast and strong, but without the wind in her hair and sounds of the city, Selina simply didn't like it.

The first time Selina had confronted Bruce about it he had said that the wind would disrupt his cape and prove to be more annoying than anything. "Attackers would have a perfect opportunity to shoot at us" Batman growled at her when she asked a second time while they were driving. "They could jump straight inside" he had said.

The third time Bruce only said no and the forth he leveled a look at her that perfectly growled 'no' while they were having lunch out.

"What would the point of bullet proof armour and glass be if a sniper could sit on a roof and wait for me to pass?" Bruce reasoned with a tired voice one night while in bed, and Selina put her chin on his chest and gave him her kitten eyes, but they held no effect this time

"There's no point to having the Batmobile be a convertible"

"No point!" Cried Selina, eyes wide and mouth slightly open in surprised "How is having the wind in your face and the city all around you in full noise not a good enough reason! When the rain starts slowly and it's spitting on your skin, and the music from passing shops and clubs mixing with the talking of the crowd, it's the most amazing thing! It's the whole purpose of driving in the city!" But Bruce just shook his head with a yawn.

"The cons out way the pros, kitten" he said sleepily and ran a hand through her hair and down her back.

Of course, Selina could get her own car, but she'd rather ride in the batmobile with Batman. Besides, it'd be too hard to stay with him if she was in a different car, losing him in darkness with complicated maneuvers and quick getaway plans her driving skills wouldn't be able to follow the Batmobile through.

It was easier, safer and smarter to ride in the Batmobile.

A week came where Batman disappeared to fight with the Justice League, leaving Catwoman to watch over the Babybats and Richard to temporarily take over as Batman.

When Bruce returned, all was in order and to Selina's delight he came back mostly unharmed. And later that night when the two went out on patrol, the Batmobile was taken with them.

Selina was surprised to see it was slightly changed from the last she had been in it, Batman obviously making minute changes to it when he had taken it with him on his week trip. The first thing she noticed was a switch on the door, just below the handle.

"What...?" Selina whispered, looking at Batman from the corner of her eye. When it seemed as if he hadn't noticed her, eyes still firmly planted on the road ahead, Selina inspected the switch a little further.

It was simple, a little black switch situated to take up half of a carved out semicircle. If she wasn't mistaken, Catwoman would have guessed that it was a window switch.

But the Batmobile's windows did not go down, much to Selina's annoyance.

It wouldn't hurt just to push it, right?

With another peek at Batman, Selina quickly stabbed the switch with one finger.

Two things happened, almost at the same time.

The first, Selina was extremely happy about. The window slightly pulled down, sucking in Gotham's air with a whistle.

The second, Selina was in hysterics about.

Bruce must have seen her dash for the switch from the corner of his eye, making him flinch and jerk the wheel. With another jerk he righted the Batmobile, looking at Catwoman with wide eyes behind his cowl, unseen except for those who knew what to look for. And it that exact moment, an idiot in a van appeared out of nowhere, breaking with alarming speed. Selina shrieked, through her laughter, pointing ahead of them. Batman jerked the wheel again, slamming his breaks and pulling the hand break, sliding in a perfect drift around the stopped van.

Selina, happier than ever, leaned out of her window and yelled at the driver of the van, waving a fist comically in the air. When she felt Bruce tug on her belt, she slid her body back in the Batmobile, unfolding her legs from under her and putting her feet back on the floor.

She grinned at Batman, who continued to frown ahead. Without looking away, he moved one hand off the wheel and flicked one of the switches on his side, and Selina's window pulled up soundlessly. Unperturbed by the frown, Selina continued to grin.

Maybe it was worth it, he thought just to see that grin.

Chapter Text

It was weeks later, and Selina's excitement for the new window's had yet to fade. She had gushed to Dick on their return, and the other baby bats had appeared from nowhere, all rushing to the Batmobile to see the new, moveable windows for themselves. It was while on a mission, with all the bats, that the worst happened.

And all because of those blasted windows.

Dick had been first to the Batmobile, but with Tim and Damian close behind. Dick proclaimed that he would sit in the front. Damian quickly denied and said he would be in the front. Tim laughed, pointing to himself, saying he would be in the front.

Batman, who was crouching before a group of tied up clowns and finishing up his knots, sighed as the argument began. The closest two jumped, looking at him with wide eyes. The Joker looked on the customary grin. It was almost like Batman could sense the Joker was about to speak, because in the same movement as standing up, he turned and pointed a finger at the Joker.

"Don't" he growled, but as always, the insane criminal chose not to listen.

"Are you having a daddy moment, Bats?" He crowed, laughing loudly.

"No" Batman shot back. But Batman couldn't deny it, he was indeed about to walk into a family moment. He couldn't believe this. They were having the most family moment they had ever had, and while in costume! He grumbled as he moved towards the Batmobile, going to the driver side as Jason joined in on the argument.

"Batman!" Tim yelled, pointing at Damian "tell Robin he's not being in the front!"

"No, Father, tell this idiot he's not taking the front seat" Damien replied

"I'm riding shot gun and that's final" growled Jason.

Somewhere, the Joker laughed and the Batman twitched in irritation.

"But Batman, I was here first!" Dick said, giving Bruce puppy eyes behind his mask. The Joker laughed when harder, on the verge of suffocation. Batman growled as the argument started again, and he slammed his hand down on the roof of the Batmobile.

"Nightwing is in the front" he growled. The other three began to protest, but Batman cut them off. "Or you can all walk home" he threatened.

The Joker choked while laughing, and if Bruce was not currently Batman, he may have slowly looked to the heavens, beseeching the god that gave him this life. Did he actually just threaten that? Bruce didn’t think he had ever said anything along the lines of that in his life.

It was, without a doubt, the most fatherly thing he had ever said. They all quickly piled in, and Batman wondered why the actual hell he installed electric windows as Richard put his down, but remembering Selina's laugh as she leaned out of the window to yell at the owner of a van owner, he remembered.

Well...maybe it was worth it

Chapter Text

CHAPTER THREE

It's only days later with batman and his baby bats that they have a run in with cat woman.
Not a bad one, per say
Just a ...badly timed one.
Bruce knows that's what Selina would tell him everytime he caught her stealing something, but this run in doesn't involve stealing.
Well, Batman thought, depends on the type of stealing you're talking about.
Dick is in the front -again- while the others have crammed into the back, weapons, tight clothing and bitchfaces all round.
It makes for an amusing sight.
Batman almost wishes he could snap a picture, and thinks the only thing that could make it funnier was if Richard was crushed in there as well.
The boys, for once, are keeping quiet much to Bruces amazment, there arguments filled with muttered curses and under-the-breath insults.
Once again, very amusing.
Jason in on the right, Damian on the left leaving an uncomfortable Tim squeezed between them.
Tim's staff is compacted, but still seems to /accidently/ smack Jason in the face with every turn Bruce makes.
Which is alot.
The claws on Damien's forearms are millimeters from Tim's painstakingly created cape, who hasn't noticed yet because Jason's many /many/ weapons on his belt and body are all at weird angles from sitting down, most pointing harmlessly away from bodies -but, Tim thinks, the ricochets on the other hand-
Then there's the few that... Aren't pointing harmlessly away.
"I swear to god, Bean-pole" Jason growls underneath his breath "you hit me /one more time/ I'll 'accidently' shoot you"
"it's not my fault" Tim grouches back, but shifts to his staff is somewhat further away.
And straight into the clutches of Damien's claws.
There's an elongated ripping noise, and Damian looks down in disinterested curiosity, while Tim goes rigid then whips around to him, leaving Jason to quickly duck out of the way of his staff with a very bad curse word
"Damian!" Tim cries in hysteria, voice sounding several octaves higher then a boy of his age. "my cape!"
Damian shrugged and removes his claws from the cape by crossing his arms, dragging them through it and ripping the material even more.
It was a complete accident, of course.
And no, Tim most definitely didn't squeek.
"it can be repaired" Damian replies in his demon monotone
"you little demon! It took ages for Alfred to make this!"
Jason ducks again when Tim swings his arms about, narrowly copping him in the face with his heavy-duty gloves.
Jason growls and swears to himself he can manage one bloody car ride without punching the idiot.
With Dick sitting rather contently in the front, Bruce clutching the wheel with his normal glare firmly in place, Jason struggling to rein in his violent urges, Tim still yelling about his cape as he holds it up, nearly wailing when he sees Damian has cut off one of the wings off, and Damian, secretly pleased with his doings -or not so secretly, seeing as how his face is twisted into a smirk- is when the situation truly reaches a crescendo.
The run in with cat woman.
There's a shadow, and for a moment their seems to be complete silence, before two heeled boots and a clawed hand latches on to the ridges in the bonnet of the Batmobile, tight black leather and so much cleavage suddenly /there/ that Bruce wants to cover the boy's eyes.
With the windscreen currently unavailable for use, batman needs to stop before he hits anything, and he needs to do it fast, without hurting Selina.
He slams the breaks, turning into a drift and knows cat woman will be able to hold on with the gloves Bruce may or may not have had made for her to hold onto any surface.
Meanwhile, the back seat is in disaster.
With the surprise, Jason forgets to duck when Tim moves to clutch the front seat's headrests', and gets the staff right in his face.
Very fast and very painfully.
While clutching his /really fucking sore/ nose, he elbows Tim in the face, who then flails and only succeeds in getting his cape caught in Damien's claws again.
Damian only glares while he holds onto the handle with an iron grip.
Then the batmobile comes to a stop, catwoman still perched on the hood and suddenly all that exists is silence.
In fact, it is so silent in the Batmobile that when batman moves to get out, the squeak of leather and armour is almost deafening.
For a moment, no one spoke while cat woman and all her glory went with her, batman standing outside with his arms crossed as they talked.
"I hit my elbow on the window" dick wined, rubbing the offending limb
"you hit your elbow on the window!?" Roared Jason around the hand pressed to his nose "well poor fucking you, asswipe!"
It's then that Batman opens his door and leans in, looking at each of them in turn.
Selina's -literal- Cheshire grin over his shoulder.
"Nightwing," he growled "in the back"
"what?" Dick said into the silence that met his demand
"Cat woman needs a lift, you can sit in the back or you can all walk home"
Dick half-glares and half-winces, before he scrambles into the back, squishing himself between Tim and Damien.
Meanwhile, Catwoman pulls her grey back pack off her shoulders, and before Batman can turn around, she shaunters to the back of the batmobile to push a button.
The boot lifts up, but instead of finding am empty storage space, she well... Finds a full one.
Bad timing indeed.
For there is Penguin, in all his short and stumpy glory, nose out of place by both injury and anger.
He narrows his eyes at the cat but doesn't speak.
The gag might have something to do with that.
Catwoman clicks the boot closed again with barely a blink of surprise and opts to slide into the front passenger seat instead if perusing exactly why Cobblepot is tied up in the back of the batmobile.
As it turns out she didn't need to ask, because as batman got back into his seat and started to drive away, he answered her unasked question and only left more questions.
"ubduction" he growled
Selina looked into the mirror to see Dick and Tim nodding along.
Damian only glares
Jason remained clutching his nose
"I swear Beanpole," He growled "if you've broken my nose, not even your super boyfriend will be able to save you"
Tim choked on air, stuttering to find an argument. He ended up crying a very unbelievable 'He's not my boyfriend!'
Damian raised an eyebrow
"of course he's not" he said, in a voice that portrayed the exact opposite
he four boys argued in the background but one of Selina's claws clicking against the window switch to pull it down, that same deliriously happy smile on her face and her pulling down her hood for the wind to streak through her hair, Batman thought that it was worth it
/definitely/