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Chapter Text

Downton Abbey,
October 1920

“Thomas!” Tom shouted “Could you come and hold Sybbie for a moment? I must fetch my coat”

Tom peeked out from upstairs and over the railing; “What did you say, Tom?”

“Can you hold —” Tom stomped over to the staircase with his daughter in his arms. “ — Sybbie?”

Thomas adjusted his shirt and walked down the steps to take the child in his arms; the girl slapped her tiny hand against Tom’s cheek and let out a squeal before trying to reach for his hair.

“Oh no, Miss Sybbie, oh no you don’t” Thom said and pulled his head away from her reach “ — I remember when you were tinier and did not wish to grab everything in sight.”

“I think she is simply implying it is time for a haircut, Thomas.” Tom said as he grabbed his coat and hat before pulling out the stroller. 

Then the cottage door burst open and the harsh wind came gushing through it. The rain was falling hard and inside stepped Matthew Crawley; soaking wet and huddling his own coat close to his body. 

“Crikey, it’s truly a rough autumn this year.” He said and removed his hat that was so wet it dripped onto the floor. 

“And you decided to bring the weather in with you?” Thomas asked with raised eyebrows.

“Oh!” Matthew spun around and forced the cottage door shut and then looked at the sight of Thomas holding Sybbie. He couldn’t help but melt slightly at the sight; not that he would admit that to Thomas since it would never be possible for them to have a child of their own; but the sight was no less sweet to his eyes.

“Right, I shall head up to Downton Abbey now, let the nanny take Sybbie for the day.” Tom said as Thomas handed his daughter back to him and was placed in the stroller. “And you tw, I beg you — “ He glared at his two friends. 

Matthew shrugged with a fake bewilderment and Thomas looked up at the ceiling. 

“ — will you behave, for once?”

“We always behave, Tom, what an unjust accusation of you.” Matthew shook his head disapprovingly. 

“Ten times —” Tom held up ten of his fingers “ — in two months that I have walked in on the two of you.” 

“Perhaps a knock would help? Or walk in with your eyes closed?” Thomas said with a smirk and raised an eyebrow at Tom.

Tom just shook his head but Matthew swore he could see the corners of his mouth twitching with a suppressed smile. 

“Knock…in my own cottage?” Tom muttered as he made sure to cover the stroller properly, to shield Sybbie from the weather, and then he left Matthew and Thomas alone in his cottage.

Matthew turned to Thomas with a smile and then the two embraced and sighed heavily into it. When they pulled away a kiss was shared and Thomas squeezed Matthew’s arms. 

“I did not think I’d see you today.” Thomas spoke quietly and pressed his forehead to Matthew’s. 

“You say that every day, but everyday I show up” Matthew laughed and pressed a quick kiss to Thomas’ lips.

Then there was a moment of silence between the two until Thomas broke their contact and walked into the small kitchen where he began to prepare two cups of tea. Matthew joined him shortly and sat down on one of the chairs by the kitchen table. 

“Robert sent a telegram — ” Matthew said and ran a hand through his wet hair. “ —  they decided to stay another month in India.” 

Thomas shrugged his shoulders and moved the kettle around on the stove a little. 

“But Mrs Hughes and I are diligent with keeping an eye on O’Brien; but we still don’t know how she executed it all so flawlessly.” Matthew continued and he watched Thomas’ shoulders tense. So the heir rose from where he sat and walked over to his sweetheart and wrapped his arms around him from behind.

“I will fix this, Thomas, whatever it takes —” 

Thomas shook his head but leaned into Matthew’s arms. “Matthew, I already told you no — you cannot do that.” Thomas pinched the bridge of his nose and spun around to face Matthew “You did not see their faces, Matthew — all of the servants — when I left Mr Carson.” Thomas gazed sorrowfully into Matthew’s eyes “ — it was stares of disgust, it was as if everyone still believed me guilty and I couldn’t take that, I can’t take them glaring at me in such a way.”

“And here I thought my unkind valet did not care.” Matthew kissed the side of Thomas’ neck and then took the screaming kettle off the stove to place it upon the table while Thomas brought their mugs over.

“It’s different this time, Matthew, because this time I am actually innocent —” Thomas’ shrugged “ — and you have put down your money, your time and energy to make something out of this —” Thomas said and Matthew was about to interrupt him but he quickly continued “ — and I know you’re about to say that ‘I am worth it all’ but we need to be smart about this.” Thomas poured tea into their cups and threw Matthew a glare.

Matthew cocked his eyebrow “And not too long ago you wished for us to run away to France”

“And you told me ‘there are many duties I’ve given up for you, but I cannot give up on the estate’ ” Thomas stared intently at Matthew whose gaze fell onto the cup o’tea next to him. “Besides, I might have a different solution.”

“A solution to what?” Matthew asked.

“To get to O’Brien” Thomas answered and took a sip from his tea.

“That is what we are already trying to do” Matthew stated.

“Well — I’ve given this a lot of thought and I think that the way to her is through Alfred.” Thomas pointed out “ — and since you’re in need of a new valet.” 

Matthew let out a deep groan and let his forehead hit hard against the table. “You’re not suggesting I’m to be dressed by the man who got you sent to jail, who got you fired?” 

“Do you have a better solution to find out how O’Brien did what she did?” 

“Yes, I will write a rude telegram to Robert and tell him I’m hiring you again.” Matthew lifted his head and looked at Thomas with saddened eyes.

Thomas reached out and cupped Matthew’s cheek. “I miss you too, my darling.”

“However, I will be having words with Robert when he returns, but at this point I feel like he is staying in India for the sole reason to avoid me; as if he knows he made a mistake.” 

“What is the saying?” Thomas said and took a sip from his tea “you cannot teach an old dog new tricks?” Then he shook his head “Just don’t tear down all of Downton Estate simply for me.”

“Thomas Barrow, I’d climb through heaven and hell for you.” Matthew said and leaned forwards; his hand upon the back of Thomas’ neck  “but you’re a stubborn man, my darling, and if you don’t wish to return until your name has been cleared I won’t force it upon you.”

“A man has his pride, does he not?” Thomas chuckled and ran his finger over the rim of his mug. “At least if my innocence is proven I will be able to hold my head up high and walk without shame.”

“They simply don’t know my Thomas ” Matthew said and then let his thumb caress the nape of Thomas’ neck “How are you, truly, my darling?”

Thomas looked at Matthew through his eyelashes and then he turned his head to look out at the rain that hit the window in the kitchen hard. “ — I am not okay, I have days when I feel completely beaten. I am not okay with that, once again, I’m parted from you, that I’ve lost my job — and O’Brien walks around like she has won, but at least I am here, at the estate, and Tom is kind enough to have me here.” 

“Poor Tom, perhaps we should be a bit more careful in our heated moments of passion.” Matthew chuckled.

“Oh Darling, I don’t think that will be possible.” Thomas said with a glimmer of mischievousness in his eyes. “Not when your smile is enough to drive me wild at any given moment.”

Matthew leaned in and their lips met in a slow kiss. Their tongues escaped their mouths and grazed together while the two inhaled sharply through their noses. Matthew’s heart skipped a beat, Thomas’ pounded out of his chest — that butterfly feeling in his stomach was still alive for Matthew.

“I know you’re not okay — ” Matthew then said, in regards to Thomas’ confession earlier. “And it’s not fair to you that everyone can’t see how wonderful you are.”

“I brought that on myself, Matthew, didn’t I?” Thomas said with a little laugh followed by  a sigh “It’s one thing that they think I’m unkind, evil and sly — but that I would do that to someone I knew only saw me as a friend, it’s different. I don’t care if they see me as evil but as someone who — who would — ” Thomas shook his head and fell silent 

“Mrs Hughes is on a warpath, O’Brien better watch out.”

Thomas then let out a hearty laugh. “Well, if Mrs Hughes is hellbent on finding out the truth, then I don’t think O’Brien stands a chance.”

“Mrs Hughes can be rather persuasive when she wants to.” Matthew stated; thinking back on the time she had given him a good tongue-lashing. 

“Brought you to your senses, she did.” Thomas said and put his cup down before wrapping both arms around Matthew’s neck. “I do hope you find evidence before January and the servants’ ball.” 

Matthew grinned and brought his hands to rest on Thomas' hips and pulled him into his lap. “And why is that, my darling?”

“So I can dance with Old Lady Grantham again, she is quite fetching, especially on the dancefloor.”

Matthew let out a laugh and gave Thomas’ hips a tight squeeze. “You’re absolutely terrible.”

“And you love me regardless.”

“Oh, my unkind former footman, with my whole heart I do.” Matthew crashed their lips together. He was going to rejoice in the fact that Thomas was having a good day today. That he was joking and smiling for a man who had gone through so much in such a short amount of time. Their mugs of tea were left forgotten and cold as the kiss kept going. They stood up together; not breaking the dance their lips were entwined in, and slowly made it towards the staircase. On the way there Thomas pushed Matthew’s coat off his shoulders and Matthew shrugged it off the rest of the way. It hit the floor hard, as it was still wet from the rain, and then Thomas’ hand gripped Matthew’s tie. He loosened it but used it to tug Matthew along with him as they slowly began climbing the stairs.

Matthew stumbled slightly as he tried to climb the steps and unbutton Thomas’ shirt at the same time. They both shared a laugh and their teeth clashed together and that’s when their long kiss finally broke. Thomas took Matthew’s hips in his hands and pinned him against the wall. His eyes had turned from sorrow, to happiness, to pure hunger. His features darkened and a smirk crept up on his lips. 

“I told you that your smile drives me wild, my darling.” Thomas panted out and his teeth nibbled on Matthew’s lower lip. 

Matthew let out a loan and banged the back of his head against the wall; his body arched with need towards his lover. Chills went down his spine and every hair on his body rose from the goosebumps. Matthew’s lips parted in a soft noise as he felt Thomas’ hand roughly stroke him through his trousers and Matthew’s hips involuntary bucked towards the touch. Even with his eyes closed he could feel Thomas’ eyes piercing him; watching, enjoying the show of Matthew crumbling before him. 

Thomas licked his lips before forcing his hand past the waistband of Matthew’s trousers and into his underpants. There he felt the cock throbbing for him and for him alone. He let out a moan, as well as Matthew, as he wrapped his fingers around it and felt it hard and heavy in his grip. He saw Matthew’s knees tremble and then Thomas watched as his eyes fluttered open the instant Thomas’ thumb rubbed over the weeping head. He wiped the seed from it, pulled his hand back out, and then brought his thumb to his lips.

Matthew was at loss for words as he watched Thomas lick his seed from his finger. It caused more to leak; it caused his cock to cry for more and his whole body as well. It made him so incredibly weak and overwhelmed with lust to see Thomas in such control; with his eyes staring him down through strands of dark hair that hung over his face. 

Luckily Thomas could not contain his need further either. He gripped Matthew by the neck and crashed their lips together and walked backwards; Thomas kicked the door to his room open and then closed when they were inside. He had Matthew pinned against it and he wasted no time to drop to his knees and frantically get Matthew’s bottom half naked. He released the aching erection and licked his lips as he edged closer to it with his mouth; his eyes fixated upon Matthew and Matthew’s head was tilted forwards to meet that gaze. 

Thomas’ breath was hot; it fell heavy over Matthew’s thigh and he felt teeth sink into his skin. God, he found it hard to keep himself standing. He slumped against the door and breathlessly moaned “You wicked man.” while Thomas kept teasing him, putting his lips everywhere but Matthew’s erection.

Thomas sucked on Matthew’s sensitive skin below his navel; his hands ran up the inside of his thighs and forced his legs to part wider; his fingers grazed over Matthew’s bollocks and up around his shaft. Thomas let out a breathy groan and buried his face into Matthew’s pubic hair and then took a firm grip upon his hips. He pinned them to the door, his fingertips leaving white circles upon Matthew’s skin and then he finally took the man into his mouth.

Matthew was thankful Thomas had such a sturdy grip upon him because he was certain he would collapse otherwise. That tongue was so skillfully caressing the back of his shaft while Thomas’ lips surrounded him; moved up and down his erection. Matthew’s head became blank from all other thoughts than what Thomas was currently doing to him. What was Downton Abbey? Matthew didn’t know anymore, and he didn’t care. Instead he called out Thomas’ name in a throaty groan and buried his fingers into his dark hair. Matthew tried to keep his eyes open to watch his lover; and his lover was watching him. 

There was a hint of a smile upon Thomas’ reddened lips as he devoured Matthew and let his cock hit the back of his throat. He absolutely loved the crazed expression upon Matthew’s face as he was given pleasure, as he was stunned by Thomas’ mouth working him into a state of unfathomable desire. He felt Matthew beginning to tremble and he saw his eyes close; Thomas knew his release would soon follow. Right as Matthew began to furiously tug at his hair, Thomas’ pulled his mouth away with a pop and gave the swollen head a gentle kiss.

“W-What…” Matthew’s eyelids opened wide and he stared down at Thomas “D-Darling..I was…”

“I know..” Thomas murmured and stood up; he pressed soft kisses to Matthew’s neck and his hands were still firm upon his hips “...you did not think I was going to let you release so easily, did you?” He chuckled and began backing up towards the bed. Thomas sat down on the edge and, with a devilish expression, he began to undo his own trousers.  

Matthew shook his head, he stepped out of his trousers, kicked his shoes off and walked over to Thomas just as he fully exposed himself. “You’re terrible, darling.” Matthew said and cupped his cheeks; “Absolutely terrible…” He whispered before bringing their lips together. He straddled Thomas and felt those arms of safety wrap around his body while Matthew’s own hands roamed underneath the unbutton shirt that still hung from Thomas’ body. He tasted the skin with his fingertips and the kiss turned ferocious with lust. Matthew brought his hips down and let Thomas’ erection slide between his cheeks and he drank every moan he drew from his darling. 

Thomas clung to the shirt Matthew still wore with one hand; the other was searching for their vaseline. “Bloody hell — “ He muttered between kisses “bloody — “ Thomas leaned to his side, while still onto Matthew, so he could finally reach what he was desperate to find. But as he was about to coat himself up; Matthew took a hold of the tub and scooped a generous amount out.  

“And I’m the wicked one?” Thomas gasped out as he leaned back on his hands while Matthew took a steady grip with his slick hand and began working the vaseline over Thomas’ erection that ached to be inside of Matthew. 

Matthew did not prepare himself, he did not even bother, instead he lined Thomas up and sunk down on the head; letting it stretch his rim and he let out a loud grunt of both relief and pain. “Y-Yes..y-you are…” He said through gritted teeth.

Thomas sat up fully again; his hands roamed over Matthew’s clothed back and his lips pressed gentle kisses to his neck. “What am I, darling?” He gasped out.

“Y-You’re bloody wicked…” Matthew tilted his head backwards and licked his lips; lowering himself a little bit further onto Thomas’ cock.

“Y-You’re t-terrible.”

Matthew lowered himself another centimeter.

“Y-You’re bad…”

Another centimeter.

“Y-You’re corruption — “

Matthew let out a loud moan as he now fully sat down on Thomas’ and his nails raked over his lover’s chest. He felt Thomas’ hips slowly circle and it was instant that the pain subdued when he grazed that spot of heaven inside of Matthew.

“You’re a-amazing…”

Thomas slammed his hips up and straight into Matthew.

“Y-You’re my everything…”

Thomas smirked against Matthew’s skin and bit down on it as he began a steady pace that forced him deep within his lower.

“I love you — I—I love you.” Matthew cried out and rolled his hips down to meet Thomas’ movements. 

“Tell me again” Thomas panted out and ran his hands into Matthew’s hair, giving it a hard tug.

“I -I love…I love…you” Matthew whimpered and opened his eyes to meet Thomas’; watching him make love to him; watching as he brought him immense euphoria with every gluttonous thrust and roll of his hips. 

Thomas let out a loud groan and then slammed their lips together in a primitive kiss. Their lips were sloppily moving; their tongues were untamed. Neither would last long; and neither did. 

Matthew released first, with Thomas leaning back; glancing down between them and watching as his lover reached his climax first — watching as the seed spilled over their shirts and stuck to their sweaty skin. Then Thomas let out an animalistic noise and fell backwards on the bed; he pressed his palms to his eyes and his hips jerked ruthlessly as he spilled himself inside of Matthew; his whole body tensed and arched as the peak of his orgasm came and the last drop was given to Matthew. 

They were breathing heavily; regaining strength and senses. Thomas laid on his back with Matthew still seated upon his lap; he was blinking the black spots away and they were both completely spent. 

Matthew was the first to move, he left Thomas’ lap and laid down next to him; pressing lazy kisses to the exposed chest and he was gifted with Thomas’ arms pulling him close in an embrace. 

This would be the time they fell asleep in the night; secure and happy — entangled in each other and the duvet. But that was not the case anymore; not with Thomas here and not in Downton Abbey and Matthew’s room where he belonged. No, Matthew now would have to leave and work, he would then fall asleep alone in his bed that felt far too grand and empty without Thomas near. 

“If you think we can get to O’Brien through Alfred then I’ll appoint him my valet.” Matthew finally agreed “I will not stop until everyone knows you’re innocent and you feel comfortable returning again.”

Thomas tightened his arms around Matthew. “Thank you, my love.” He whispered.

Chapter Text

Downton Abbey,
October 1920.

“Being stubborn, is he, Mr Crawley?” Mrs Hughes asked as Matthew stepped inside of her sitting room in the late evening. 

“As a mule, Mrs Hughes.” Matthew sighed and sat down in an armchair. He rubbed his forehead with his index and middle finger. “I was hoping I could convince him to let me force both Mr Carson and Robert’s hands but he won’t — thank you — “ Matthew said and accepted the cup of tea offered to him “ — but I don’t want to force something upon him either, not when he feels wounded.”

“Well, you are both incredibly stubborn at times, Mr Crawley.” She said with a twinkle in her eyes and a wide smile that then quickly faded “but I suppose I understand him, it was rather nasty — the way everyone looked at him and — “ She shook her head “ — James’ words, I think that hurt him the most, he truly thought of the footman as a friend.” 

Matthew nodded “I have been trying to keep my anger and frustration at bay — “

“ — yes, I can see that.” Mrs Hughes chuckled.

“ — and I shall have to do so further, because Thomas brought — “ Matthew continued and ignored Mrs Hughes' remark but he gave her a bemused look “ — forth a plan that, though I might not like it, will perhaps work.”

The door suddenly opened  and they both turned their heads in horror struck expressions that quickly faded to relief.

“I apologise.” Tom expressed as he closed the door behind him. “Sybbie was being fussy.”

“No need, Tom, your first priority is her.” Matthew said with a soft smile “You’re just in time to hear the plan Thomas came up with.”

“Oh?” Tom said and sat in the chair next to Mrs Hughes, thanked her for his cup of tea, and watched Matthew intently.

“We have yet to be able to catch O’Brien slip up, speak out of turn, but Thomas figured if anyone knows anything it will be Alfred.” Matthew took a sip of the tea and frowned. 

Mrs Hughes understood immediately “He shall be your new valet, then?” 

Tom let out a scoff “Mr Molesley will surely be pleased about that.” 

“I would agree, but this is more important than that; I know the poor man has gotten the short-end of the stick for quite some time.” Matthew spoke softly “ — and I surely hope that when this whole mess is sorted we can find a way to repay him, but it is what it is.”

Tom nodded, “I suppose so, we need to prove our friend’s innocence.”

“And so you can have your dear cottage to yourself.” Matthew added “I’ve never been more grateful, for you letting Thomas stay there and putting up with everything.” 

“I cannot lie, I knock on every door before I enter and Mary has been more persistent with convincing me and Sybbie to simply come and live in the house — “ Tom said but then smiled “ — but I am happy to help you and Thomas, and Sybbie is quite taken with him, I must admit.” 

“Have you given it thought, to move into the house once this is all taken care of?” Mrs Hughes asked Tom.

“I have, but I have some reservations about it — “ Tom then waved his hand in the air “ — but that is a discussion for another time, for now we need to figure out how to get Alfred talking and stir some commotion downstairs.”

“I think that will do the trick.” Mrs Hughes said “There has been a lot of talk of who will take Thomas place — not that anyone could — “ She added quickly as Matthew’s face turned slightly red “ — but if Alfred is your valet, Mrs Hughes will think she has another win and feel more secure.”

“I agree.” Matthew said “The more I thought about it during the day, the more I think it’s the best course to take.”

“We know James, Alfred and Molesley all wish to be your new valet, it surely will make tongues wagging.” Mrs Hughes said “but how do you plan on making Alfred talk?” 

“Well—” Matthew coughed “ — I am going to have to play the part of grateful heir, don’t I? Act like Alfred did me a favour exposing Thomas.” 

Tom raised his eyebrow “And will you be able to do that?”

“For Thomas, I am able to do anything.” Matthew said and his face spoke of nothing but determination “for love, for his pride — for him.” 

Mrs Hughes patted Matthew’s arm and gave him a reassuring smile “I know you can, Mr Crawley.” 

“He took two bullets for me once, he bled for me; to play pretend is the least I can do for him.” Matthew took another sip from his tea and there was a moment of silence.

“Daisy is still my eyes and ears” Mrs Hughes then said “since most don’t notice the lass, we didn’t all last year, me and Thomas.”

“And I will make sure to keep an extra eye on the estate, while your mind is focused on this, Matthew — so there is one last thing to worry about.”

Matthew’s heart swelled with gratitude towards Mrs Hughes and Tom, how deeply they cared about this and Thomas. 

“Never, when Thomas and I began our relationship, did I think that we would find such support.” Matthew’s voice cracked as he spoke “I knew it would not be easy, though we often wished that the worst was over, and I know it still won’t be but — “ He looked at Mrs Hughes and Tom “ — from the bottom of my heart, I thank you both, without the two of you I do not know what we would do.” =

Matthew then cleared his throat and continued “I think we truly need to keep our ears open tomorrow, as I will announce to Mr Carson I will take Alfred as valet.”

“And the weeks to come, especially if you manage to get him to talk about what he saw, he believes happened that night.” Mrs Hughes agreed. 

“My concern is — “ Tom spoke up “ — what if O’Brien suspects what this is all about? We also, sadly, cannot be everywhere at all times.”

Matthew’s lips curled into a smile that turned into a smirk. “I have some reinforcement I can call in for that.” He did not elaborate on that and they all sat in a comfortable silence until Tom broke it.

“The hour has turned late.” Tom said and looked at the clock “I think I need to return to the cottage, in case Thomas is struggling with a weeping Sybbie again.” 

Matthew’s heart melted. “I wish I could go with you.” He said sadly. “However, would you mind if I came by tomorrow?”

“Of course not, Matthew, of course not.” 

They all rose to their feet, Mrs Hughes gave Matthew’s hand a squeeze and said “It will be alright, Mr Crawley.”

“I hope so, Mrs Hughes, because if not I will take Thomas with me far from Downton Abbey and misery.”

Downton Abbey,
October 1920
Downstairs.

Everyone rose as Mr Carson entered the servants’ hall but with the motion of his hand they all sat back down. 

“Alfred.” Mr Carson said and placed the napkin in his hand. “Starting today you will answer to Mr Crawley’s bell.”

Alfred dropped his spoon and stared at the butler. “I am to do what?” 

“Have you gone deaf boy?” The butler barked “You are to be his new valet, by his request.”

There was a silence that stretched across the room and every eye turned to the newest footman. Jimmy looked absolutely furious as he gripped his teacup tightly in his hand. Mrs Hughes took a deep breath, reminding herself not to let her emotions show, and O’Brien stared at her nephew with absolute pride.

“But — what about Mr Barrow?” Daisy asked.

“Mr Barrow is no longer employed here, and I am glad Mr Crawley has come to his senses and appointed someone new.” Mr Carson said. 

“I don’t understand, why Alfred? I was his butler and valet for years in the Crawley house.” Mr Molesley said, sounding wounded.

“It’s not my job to question what they decide upstairs, just to relay the information.” Mr Carson pointed out.

“Of course he’d want someone younger, Alfred is the perfect man for the job.” O’Brien snapped at Mr Molesley “and Mr Crawley owes him a lot.”

A few people furrowed their eyebrows at O’Brien’s comment but a lot of servants knew what she meant; keeping a secret in Downton Abbey was not easy, and most knew by now that Alfred had been the one to turn Thomas in — which also meant they knew the reason why and what had allegedly happened with Jimmy. 

It was hard for Mrs Hughes not to defend Thomas at that point; to shut O’Brien up — but she also needed to play a part, and they needed O’Brien talking. The hopes that hubris would overtake O’Brien were things would spill. If there was something Mrs Hughes knew it was that Mr Carson didn’t hold O’Brien in high regards and if it was word against word, he would surely believe her over the lady’s maid. 

“ Now, Alfred, being a valet is an honour — and I hope you will not disappoint.” Mr Carson said “You have been given an opportunity early on to be the valet for the heir of this estate, a very important job indeed.” 

“Of course Alfred knows that.” O’Brien said. “Mr Carson, you have nothing to fear.”

“I think Alfred can speak for himself, can he not, Miss O’Brien?” The butler silenced the lady’s maid.

“Of course Mr Carson, I will do my best.” Alfred nodded.

“Hmpfh…” Mr Carson gave him a questioning look “ Your best …” he muttered but the conversation around the breakfast table ended by the sound of all the bells ringing.

Everyone rose from their seats, some congratulated Alfred on his way out, and some simply shook their heads in disbelief. Once the new valet was out of earshot James walked into the kitchen and stood by Ivy who was preparing breakfast for upstairs.

“Can you believe it Ivy? That oaf making valet before me!” He sulked.

“Well, Jimmy, you're the first footman, aren’t you?” She said cheerfully “that’s something, isn’t it — and I suppose Mr Crawley felt like he owed it to Alfred.”

“So he completely overlooked Mr Molesley as well?” Jimmy asked and poked one of the trays that held fresh toast that Mrs Patmore had just placed down.

“It’s not to you nor any of us what the upstairs lot are doing.” Mrs Patmore told Jimmy “and mind you, Mr Crawley seems pretty sentimental, he kept Mr Barrow as his valet for a long time due to them serving in the war, did he not?”

“I wonder what they talked about, him and Mr Barrow; do you think Mr Crawley knew Mr Barrow was bent that way?” Ivy asked.

“Clearly everyone knew, but didn’t tell me — did they?” Jimmy snarled and looked at Mrs Patmore.

Mrs Patmore said nothing more and continued preparing the breakfast while Ivy looked at Jimmy and Daisy glared at both of them.

“What is this gathering about?” Mr Carson walked into the kitchen “James, go upstairs and help Molesley set the table upstairs, go!”

Jimmy hurried out with a surly face and Mr Carson gave Mrs Patmore a stare. “I thought you better than that, Mr Patmore, than to engage in gossip.”

“My kitchen, my rules, Mr Carson.” Mrs Patmore tossed the kitchen towel over her shoulder “Besides, can you blame the lad for feeling upset? Mind you, I don’t know if Mr Barrow had something like that in him, was it really right to fire him?”

“To lose one valet or two footmen, it was a choice I had to make.” Mr Carson said.

“I suppose, but without evidence, without anything?” Mrs Patmore shook her head “You cannot deny that Mr Barrow came back slightly different from the war.”

“Not different enough.” Mr Carson said and turned his heel to leave the kitchen and retreat to watch over the footmen upstairs.

Once the butler was out of sight, Daisy turned to Mrs Patmore. “You really think so, Mrs Patmore?”

“Daisy, I don’t know what to think — nor should you be thinking about it either — but it is my kitchen, now take care of those eggs before you burn them, silly girl!” Mrs Patmore urged Daisy with a wave of her hand. 

Downton Abbey,
October 1920
Upstairs

“Remember to keep yourself under control, Matthew.” Tom reminded his friend as they walked towards breakfast. He saw the agitated look upon his friend's face after being dressed by someone other than Thomas. 

“Whatever do you mean, Tom? I always keep my emotions at bay like a proper gentleman.” Matthew answered and adjusted his tie but then caught the look Tom was giving him and he couldn’t help but crack a smile. “ — perhaps there’s been once or twice — “

“ — or maybe three, four…five, shall I remind you?” Tom teased.

“How awful you are, my friend.” Matthew chuckled and sighed heavily “No, I will remain civil because I know Mary will have an opinion or two.”

“Go easy on her, Matthew.” Tom urged him.

“Easy for you to say, she has not been trying to figure out your secrets for the past year.” 

“Well, she doesn’t have to do so anymore, does she? You told her about what Thomas did for you.” Tom reminded him.

“Let us hope that’s the end of it.” Matthew said and walked through the doors and sat down by the breakfast table. Mary was already seated and Edith was joining them for once, and not spending all of her time in London —  Matthew guessed it was not only due to writing for that magazine. 

“Good morning cousin Matthew.” Edith said in a cheery tone. “Morning Tom.”

They bid her, and Mary, a good morning as well. 

“There have been words…” Mary said without looking up from the piece of paper that she was reading “ … from ma and papa.”

Matthew raised his eyebrow “Oh? They have finally replied?”

“Yes” Mary said in a monotone voice “they say all is well, and that they will begin the voyage back with the hopes to return home for Christmas.”

“Excellent news.” Tom said and began eating his breakfast. 

“Yes, quite” Matthew agreed “But we shall see if we need to arrange Christmas ourselves this year, the trip from India is not a short one, at least 3 to 4 months.”

“Goodness.” Edith expressed “A Christmas without ma and papa?” 

“Cousin Matthew is the future lordship, I am certain this will be good practice for him.” Mary said and put the telegram down “Speaking of good news, I heard Alfred is your new valet.”

And there it was, Matthew had prepared for this. He did not know why Mary enjoyed torturing him so frightfully, was her heart still so resentful from being rejected? But the heir put on a brave face and nodded. “I thought it was about time, it does not look good if the future lordship walks around without a valet, now does it?”

“Quite right” Mary agreed “What about Mr Barrow? Heard anything from him?”

Matthew pursed his lips together and just shook his head. He could not stomach replying in words, not when all he could think about was to enter the cottage and embrace Thomas once more.

Tom knew there was a desperate need to change the topic; and so he did. “So, hunting season has begun.”

“Ah, thank you for bringing this up Tom.” Matthew said “I have two friends coming from Manchester to partake in hunting.” 

“Might these be the two handsome men that were here in the spring?” Edith asked with a smile.

“Ah yes, John and Harvey, that is correct.”

“The cousin of the Duke of Manchester and the Churchill?” Mary frowned

Matthew nodded “They will arrive here next week.” 

“How jolly! Perhaps we can invite a few others to come around as well, and have a fabulous dinner party.” Edith suggested.

“Without informing papa? He is the Lord of the estate.” Mary pointed out.

“With pa gone, isn’t Matthew in charge like you said, Mary?” Edith asked and the two sisters looked at Matthew.

“I think a dinner party sounds marvellous, Edith” Matthew didn’t know if it was out of spite towards Robert and Mary that he agreed to it, but he did. It was incredibly childish of him but he couldn’t help it. After everything, it would feel good to do something merry for once — but that thought made his face fall. He remembers a time when, in the face of troubles, he and Thomas shared merriment in the trenches. 

“What are your plans for the day?” Mary asked Matthew and Tom.

“I will be visiting the Drewe farm, I heard Mr Drewe is not doing too well, health wise — it is making it rather difficult to shift the farm into pig farming.” Matthew said. It was not a complete lie, he did have plans to do so — but first there was someone more important that needed his attention.

“I shall take to the papers, there is a lot to go through, and years of neglect” Tom said “You’re more than welcome to join me Mary.” 

“I suppose I need to know more about the paperwork as well.” Mary sighed “Though it sounds awfully dull.” She gave Tom a smile.

“Oh, frightfully so, Mary.” Tom laughed. 

“What about you Edith, what does the day hold for you?” Matthew asked the younger Crawley sister.

“I have a piece to write, then I shall take lunch with grandma, she invited you as well Mary.” 

Mary nodded “Come find me before you are to leave for the village.” 

Matthew looked at his wristwatch, the one gifted to him from John and Harvey “Right, I think it is time for me to leave.” He rose from his chair and bid them all a good day before his steps took him to his room to fetch his coat and hat; then they quickened as he left Downton Abbey and made his way towards his yearning heart. 

Downton Estate,
October 1920
Tom’s cottage. 

Sybbie was sleeping like an angel in her cot and Thomas was sitting beside it by the window and staring out at the grey sky. His eyes were reddened from his silent weeping and his hand he held a photograph of happier times; of him and Matthew in Manchester by the river. Thomas loathed his crying, he loathed feeling so vulnerable; he felt pathetic — but what was left in his life without work and Matthew near? 

He missed the days of summer fields with the gentle breeze catching Matthew’s blonde hair as they sat beneath their tree. Oh, how Thomas longed for a dance in Manchester again, a kiss amongst equals — a touch in the dark without fear. How truly beaten he now was, yet he knew it could be worse; he could be in jail and further gone from the man he loved, from the few he counted as friends. 

Thomas looked over at Sybbie asleep and he wished that her mother was still alive and well; he missed her comfort and counsel. He would make sure this little girl knew her mother, who she truly was — not just Lady Sybil, but Sybil the nurse, Sybil the sweet — Sybil the wise. 

Another tear fell from Thomas’ cheek as he thought of Sybil and how she had been taken far too young, far too soon. Life was far from fair sometimes. 

Footsteps from below brought Thomas back and he furiously wiped his eyes but there was no hiding their redness; and as soon as Matthew entered the room he rushed over to his lover’s side.

“My darling.” He whispered and sat down next to Thomas and his arms wrapped around him in comfort and protection. There were no more words shared; just their embrace. Matthew caressed Thomas’ soft hair that had not been held down by gel for two months now. He kissed his temple, his cheek; the corner of his mouth. Matthew felt Thomas’ quiver in his arms and he pulled him closer, letting him hide his face into his neck; Matthew felt the wetness from fresh tears falling from Thomas’ eyes land upon his skin. 

It’s not fair, it’s not bloody fair, Matthew thought. In that very moment he hated everyone who had wounded Thomas so; who had caused this whole mess. It was all lies, it was all slander, and he wanted to shout it out loud; Thomas is his and he is Thomas’. But he could not, he would not, he would have to take the long way around without shortcuts. Matthew had to be sly and smart, he had to be everything Thomas’ normally was but with a gentlemanly flair to it. 

Sybbie made a noise and stirred as she slept and the two men turned their gaze to ensure that she was still asleep and well; but a cry erupted from her and Thomas rose to pick the child up in his arms. He rocked her tenderly, he tried to hush her — he knew she was not hungry yet, as she had been fed just moments ago.

Matthew had thought it impossible to fall more in love with Thomas than he already was; but to see this side of him simply caused his whole soul to explode with love — was there something beyond love? Was there an emotion stronger than ‘ being in love’ because if there was, that was what Matthew was experiencing at this very moment. 

Thomas sat down next to Matthew again “I think she is bored.” He said with a small smile before raising Sybbie into the air and wiggling her around; causing the baby to laugh and then he brought her down to kiss her forehead and then he blew a raspberry to her cheek which seemed to satisfy Sybbie enough to stop crying. 

“Thomas Barrow, you never cease to amaze me.” Matthew said and caressed Sybbie’s head.

Thomas let out a small chuckle and looked at his lover. “You know what I have always said, I would absolutely hate it if I ever became predictable.” 

Matthew leaned forwards and placed a tender kiss to Thomas’ lips and let out a sigh. “How awfully, embarrassingly and madly in love with you I am.” 

Thomas smiled into the kiss and then brushed their noses together. “How I hope you’ll never lose that feeling for me, Matthew Crawley.”

“Never shall it be lost, nothing in this world could cause me to lose what I cherish the most.” 

Downton Abbey,
October 1920

“When you told me this was going to be incredibly dull, Tom, I did not believe it would be to this extent.” Mary said as she read over a paper containing the yearly production of the farmlands in the past 5 years. “Though it is quite insightful and I must admit, Matthew’s plan truly seems like the only way out of the predicament.”

“Hopefully your father will think so as well once he returns from India” Tom pointed out “or maybe if you, Mary, will relay your thoughts to him he will soften to it more and more.”

“You wish to use me to manipulate my own father?” Mary said, acting shocked.

Tom let out a chuckle “You can be very persuasive.” 

“I can, but not always to dear papa — he refused to tell me about the true reason why Matthew kept Mr Barrow around.” Mary pointed out and looked at Matthew over the piece of paper. “Why on earth did Matthew keep it a secret?”

Tom shrugged “Perhaps it was upon Mr Barrow’s request, maybe he did not want everyone to think he only made valet because he saved Matthew’s life.”

“But isn’t that the reason why he made valet? ” Mary questioned with her eyebrows furrowed “Why hide a noble act, when you haven’t acted noble many times in your life?” 

Tom pursed his lips together and rubbed his temple with his index finger. “I suppose some are used to the way people see them, and don’t want to be seen any other way.”

“I suppose if you’re different, like Mr Barrow, you want to keep everyone at arm's length.” Mary put down the paper she had been reading. 

“Much like other’s I know.” Tom said and gazed at Mary. 

“Are you suggesting I keep everyone at arm’s length?” She shook her head “I would say that is not completely accurate, perhaps I just haven’t met many I wish to invite further in.” 

Tom just shook his head.

“Did you know about their secret?” Mary prodded him further. 

Tom nodded “I did, Mary.” He didn’t want to say too much, nor too little; but he was uncomfortable with the way Mary was trying to find out more about Matthew and Thomas — as if she hadn’t truly let it go yet.

“And Sybil?”


Tom nodded.

“Do you think Mrs Crawley knew?” She asked; thinking about the conversation she had with Isobel earlier in the year.

Tom nodded again. “Of course she did, and Doctor Clarkson, probably a handful of soldiers that were on the battlefield, what is your point Mary?”

“So there were many that knew that Mr Barrow was a hero? And yet they kept it a secret?” 

“Mary, please, we have to work — I wish I knew the logic behind it but that is something I suppose only Mr Barrow could answer and the least Matthew could have done was to honour his wish to keep it a secret, he did save his life after all.”

Mary looked at her brother-in-law and how red in the face he had become. She got an uneasy feeling that there was more to this story but without Thomas around it would be seemingly impossible to figure out what. Perhaps she had to learn how to live without knowing the full truth and whatever she had suspected before didn’t matter now, did it? Thomas had been fired and he was long gone.

Chapter Text

Downton Abbey
October 1920

“It’s absolutely outrageous! What is Mr Crawley thinking?” Mr Carson was red in the face and staring at Alfred. 

“That’s what he told me, Mr Carson, for invitations to be sent out for a day of hunting and a dinner party to the names on this list.” Alfred said with a trembling voice. 

“I thought you said it wasn’t your job to question what they do upstairs, Mr Carson.” Mrs Hughes said with a chuckle and patted the butler's arm gently. 

“But without his lordship's knowledge? To host a party at his house?” Mr Carson shook his head. 

“He is in charge while Lord Grantham is gone, is he not?” Mrs Hughes reminded Mr Carson “ — are you afraid it will be a party with jazz music and swing dancing?” She gave the distraught butler a smile.

Mr Carson muttered and took the list from Alfred and stomped away to his office.

“So, how are you fairing with Mr Crawley, Al—Mr Nugent?” Mrs Hughes asked.

“I think it’s going well so far, Mrs Hughes, he’s nice enough; asking how my family is and this and that.” Alfred nodded “It’s a bit strange though, I surely thought he’d hate me — but he seems grateful.”

Mrs Hughes nodded “Well, I have to see to the bedrooms for Mr Crawley’s guests.” She bid Alfred goodbye and walked towards the servants staircase but when O’Brien passed her in it, she stopped in her tracks and listened closely at O’Brien’s words to Alfred.

“What did Mrs Hughes ask you about, Alfred?” She heard O’Brien ask her nephew.

“Just how I’m doing with Mr Crawley.” Alfred replied.

“Be mindful what you tell her, boy, I doubt she is happy with seeing Thomas being fired; she might be looking for something since she always had a soft spot for him.” O'Brien scoffed.

“What do you mean auntie?” Alfred asked in confusion.

“Ah, Mrs Hu—” a voice said and Mrs Hughes spun around to see Tom standing behind her. She pressed a finger to her lips to hush him.

“She was always too fond of Thomas she was, but never you mind — .” Mrs Hughes and Tom both heard O’Brien say hastily. “ — just make sure you’re on Mr Crawley’s good side, alright lad?”

Alfred nodded and with that the conversation between O’Brien and Alfred ceased and Mrs Hughes motioned Tom to follow her up the stairs where they could not be overheard.

“What was that about?” Tom asked and turned to Mrs Hughes. 

“O’Brien seems awfully nervous about my intentions — and she should be.” Mrs Hughes said in a matter-of-fact tone. “While Mr Crawley is trying to find out more from Alfred I have decided that it will be a good plan to try and speak to James.”

“Mrs Hughes, I’m quite surprised.” Tom said with a smile.

“There is still some bite in these old bones, Mr Branson, and even if we find out that O’Brien did it; we need to know how.” 

“Thomas is quite lucky to have you, Mrs Hughes.” Tom said with a smile.

“I’ve grown quite fond of the two lovesick lads” She said with a heavy sigh and love in her eyes.

“I hope I’m not overstepping, Mrs Hughes, but you truly care for Thomas, don’t you?” He asked, “Like a mother for a son.”

“That’s quite the overstep, Mr Branson.” Mrs Hughes said but she gave him a wide smile before she parted ways with him to return to her duties.

Tom let out a chuckle, completely forgetting the reason he had come searching for Mrs Hughes in the first place, and he was certainly going to relay this to Thomas; hoping it would cheer him up to know that no one had given up yet. That, and the arrival of John and Harvey, surely would bring a smile on the man’s face, would it not?

Downton Estate,
October 1920

Matthew had returned from collecting paperwork in York and he was now sitting on a blanket on the grass behind Tom’s cottage, shielded by a section of large bushes, with Thomas Barrow. The weather was rather ghastly but at least there was no pouring rain or whipping wind. It was quite daring to be sitting outside of the cottage together like this, with Thomas’ head leaning on Matthew’s shoulder and Matthew leaning his cheek to Thomas’ head, but Matthew did not wish for his darling to go completely insane inside of Tom’s cottage. 

“Has there been any development?” Thomas asked with a soft sigh and he closed his eyes. 

Matthew shook his head at first and then he said “Actually, darling, it’s not much but Mrs Hughes did overhear O’Brien warning Alfred to speak to Mrs Hughes.” 

“What do you mean?”

“She said that O’Brien told Alfred to be mindful of Mrs Hughes because she had always had a soft spot for you..” Matthew informed Thomas and tilted his head slightly to see his reaction.


Thomas smiled a little and gave out a quiet chuckle “Mrs Hughes is quite fantastic, is she not?”

“Absolutely, my darling.” Matthew said with a great relief in his heart; Thomas was smiling more and more. 

“I would never admit to anyone, though I have a frightful feeling most suspect this already; Mrs Hughes often feels like the mother I wish I had had.” Thomas looked up at Matthew; and now it was Matthew’s turn to smile.

“Darling, I have a suspicion she might feel quite the same.” Matthew wrapped his arms around Thomas’ shoulder and pulled him closer in the embrace.

“I knew the moment I fell for you, Mr Crawley, that my heart was going to grow soft.” Thomas peered up at his partner. “It is completely and utterly your fault.” Thomas said and reached up to trail kisses alongside his jawline.

“I will take full blame for turning an unkind footman kind.” Matthew said with a shudder and snapped his head to the side; capturing Thomas’ lips with his and kissing him daringly; passionately. 

“ Darling.” Matthew hissed when Thomas’ teeth caught his lower lip in a bite as they were about to depart from the kiss.

Thomas said nothing yet his smirk said it all. He pushed Matthew onto his back and then kissed him again; beautifully blending their lips and tongues together with desperation while his hand forcefully pushed past the waist of Matthew’s trousers — not even bothering unbuttoning them. Thomas swallowed his lover’s groan as he gripped the rising cock and gave it a few gentle strokes until it laid hard and throbbing in his hand. 

Thomas felt Matthew tremble where he laid, his lips quivering and it caused Thomas to smirk as he let his fist move slowly up and down the shaft; his thumb stroking over the tip that was already wet from pearls of semen. He dragged the wetness from head to base, he gave Matthew a tight squeeze and drank his noises; letting every groan, every curse — every whimper of his name that from Matthew’s tongue to be captured by Thomas’ own tongue.

Matthew’s hips rose, his head dipped backwards and his hand came to grip onto the blanket below them. His breathing was harsh and his throat completely dry. He had not expected to be pleasured on a blanket on the Downton Estate. It was unexpected and fully welcomed. Matthew’s eyes opened slowly and they were met with Thomas’. God, there is nothing more beautiful upon earth, Matthew thought to himself, nothing more arousing, nothing more lush. 

Matthew moaned as he felt his lover give his balls a tight squeeze which caused his hips to thrust forwards and quiver; his eyes went wide and stared at the smirk upon Thomas’ face. 

What followed was a jumble of words; incoherent in between a bunch of moaning yeses and God’s name in vain. It wasn’t long until Thomas’ felt Matthew’s cock throbbing and saw his body being engulfed in the orgasm. He could not tear his eyes away as Matthew came undone; it was still the single most sensual thing in the world and it had been since the first time Matthew trembled in his arms in France, so many years ago.

“You are a wicked man, Thomas Barrow.” Matthew said as he tried to catch his breath with his eyes firmly shut and his hand resting against his forehead. “ Wicked.”

“I can be worse still..” Thomas whispered and removed his hand from Matthew’s trousers and licked his thumb clear of Matthew’s semen that had stained it.

Matthew’s eyes snapped open and he inhaled sharply as he watched Thomas taste him. “ Oh god.” 

Thomas smirked and then ran his index finger over Matthew’s lips, letting the salty liquid spread across his lips and then Thomas’ attacked him with a newfound hunger; tasing Matthew in more ways than one and letting his lover taste himself as well. 

“Thomas… Thomas…” Matthew begged into the kiss. “ Please.”

Thomas let out a chuckle and pulled away; looking down at the dishevelled man below him with his blonde hair sticking out; his lips swollen and wet and his eyes half-closed. “You just reached your climax, and you wish for more, my darling?”

Matthew gripped the back of Thomas’ neck “I don’t care, I need you” He said through gritted teeth. “Thomas I need you to — to —” Matthew swallowed thickly but he didn’t get to finish the sentence before Thomas’ lips were all over his again and the removal of their trousers began

“Oh, how I love you, my completely corrupt heir.” Thomas mumbled into the kiss with a wide and, these days, rare smile.

Happiness was and always would be Matthew Crawley in Thomas Barrow’s eyes. Nothing else mattered, nothing but this man and Thomas would walk across the world to simply see him smile.

Downton Abbey,
October 1920

Matthew would have liked to say his steps had been brisk and light for the rest of the day after his encounter with Thomas earlier; but that was a lie. In his head they might have been but he was walking slightly rigid since neither of them had brought any form of lubrication spit had been used in its place. It had been quite new to Matthew and, even though Thomas had been so gentle and careful until Matthew had almost shouted at him to go harder, he could feel the aftermath stronger than he had before. Not that he completely minded, especially being spread out on a blanket in the chilly weather with Thomas’ heat warming him from the inside out. 

But the bliss from the afternoon was overshadowed by purpose. Matthew had a mission; he needed to expose O’Brien’s lie and bring Thomas Barrow back to Downton Abbey. That was the focus, that was all that mattered. Matthew straightened his back and began walking, rigid but with determination, towards his room and he called for Alfred. Matthew had already heard the outrageous story Alfred had told him; but Matthew needed him to speak more, let his guard down — and then he would ask the temporary valet again, about the night; what he saw and also what had taken place at the fair. Matthew had the words formed in his head, like a speech he had recited again and again, all he needed was the right opportunity. 

Alfred was rolling the lint from Matthew’s dinner jacket in front of the mirror and the heir took a deep breath.  This would be painful and Matthew apologised to Thomas in his mind for the words he was about to speak.

“Mr Nugent” He said “I realised I never thanked you.” 

“Whatever would you thank me for, Mr Crawley?” Alfred asked.

“For — “ Matthew took a deep breath and looked himself in the mirror; you can do this, Matthew, it’s a lie, nothing more. “ — for exposing T—Mr Barrow.” His stomach turned at these words and Matthew felt violently ill. 

“I — “ Alfred said and then nodded. “ — I’m glad you don’t resent me, Mr Crawley, I know he was your friend.”

Matthew turned around and forced a smile upon his lips. “You’re a good lad, Mr Nugent, you did me a favour.” He patted the temporary valet on the shoulder. “You should be proud of yourself.”

“Thank you, Mr Crawley.” Alfred said with a smile.

“And how is O’Brien fairing? I know she was a bit upset when she wasn’t asked to accompany Lady Grantham to India.” Matthew asked with a casual tone, to simply bring O’Brien into a conversation. 

“Oh she was a bit upset, Mr Crawley, but I think me being valet has cheered her right up” Alfred answered. “Mr Bates wasn’t asked to join either, was he Mr Crawley?”

Matthew shook his head. “I think they wanted a bit of an escape from everything — and who can blame them?” He said and straightened his bowtie “ — barely out or mourning, and it’s a long journey; much longer than to America, I understand why they didn’t take a valet and lady’s maid with them.”

Alfred nodded “Right you are Mr Crawley, I agree — anything else you need me to do?”

“That will be all, thank you.” Matthew said, still wearing that painfully forced smile upon his lips until Alfred had closed the door behind him. 

Matthew let out an exhale and turned to look at himself in the mirror again. He adjusted everything Alfred had done wrong; no one could dress him right other than Thomas. Matthew stared at himself with a fury. It still felt like a betrayal, to thank another valet. He was not thankful, he was not pleased and Alfred should not be proud of himself for his lies. 

“Hold it together, chap” Matthew told himself. “Hold it together.” He sighed and he could not wait for the week to come to an end and for John and Harvey to arrive.

Chapter Text

Downton,
October 1920

“Harvey, will you mind where you are going?” John called out as Harvey walked straight into him from behind. “Normally I don’t mind you ramming into me, but please, we are in public.”

Harvey gave John a slap on the shoulder and shook his head. There was not a single person in sight so he was not fearful that someone would hear them; but it was a rainy and gloomy day and he had already had tea spilled all over his lap from an unexpected bump on the train.

“Cheer up Harvey-boy, there’s no time to cry over spilled tea, we are here for hunting of a very special kind.” John laughed and patted Harvey’s shoulder and gave him a devilishly charming grin.

“You charming oaf.” Harvey said and couldn’t help but be dazzled by his partner. “Yes, I suppose it is hunting season after all, but quite a different one of us.”

“Well, if it can help dear Matthew and Thomas out I don’t mind if most of the hunting stays within Downton, it might be a grand ol’ time — like a murder mystery.” 

“John, you need to stop reading those novels, they will only put ideas in your head.” Harvey said just as two cars pulled up next to them; one honking excitedly.

John and Harvey furrowed their eyebrows in confusion. “Matthew?” They asked as their friend stepped out of one of them “We did not pack nearly enough for the need of two cars.”

Matthew laughed and greeted his friends with firm handshakes “No, one is to send your luggage to Downton and for me to transport you.” 

John and Harvey shared looks and then nodded; they understood that they were going straight to Tom’s cottage to be briefed on what had been going on in greater detail than what letters had told. The chauffeur took their bags and loaded them into the second car while John and Harvey climbed into Matthew’s and they began the drive to Downton Estate. 

“You look worse for wear, dear friend.” John noted “Not that I blame you for that, it must have been a rough few months.”

Matthew gripped the steering wheel tighter and nodded. “It has, and I just wish for this nightmare to be over; as I thought it would be when Thomas was released.” 

“No fear, dear chap, we are here to help — we can be quite discreet.” Harvey said. 

“Aye, that we can be — not even our families have suspected that Harvey and I are two buggers and it’s been a frightfully long time.” John chuckled. 

“Speaking of — “ Matthew suddenly said; realising something “ — I don’t believe Tom or Mrs Hughes know that you two are bent like Thomas and I, I don’t think either of us ever — because it’s not for us to tell.” 

“How absolutely touching — ” John chuckled “ — but don’t you think they might have figured it out with all the help we have offered?”

Matthew shrugged “despite being very accepting, most don’t expect there to be many of us buggers out there, I believe they think you’re nothing but two dear, accepting, friends” Matthew sucked on his lip and then nodded to himself “ — though, if anyone would have a suspicion it would be Mrs Hughes.”

“I think I speak for both of us — “ Harvey said “ — when I say that we are frightfully excited to meet this brilliant Mrs Hughes.” 

Eventually they reached Tom’s cottage and the three men walked inside of it. There sat Thomas with Tom, who had Sybbie in his lap, and Mrs Hughes was pouring tea into cups. |


Thomas looked down the hallway to the entryway from the kitchen and his face lit up. Any hints of misery vanished as he stared straight at Matthew and he let out a great sigh of relief. Then his eyes fell upon Harvey and John which filled his heart with an overwhelming amount of gratitude towards the gathering of people that was there for the sole purpose of aiding Thomas in proving his innocence. 

“My darling” Matthew said as he entered the kitchen and Thomas stood up to greet him. Matthew gave Thomas a kiss to his cheek and a squeeze of his hand. “Reinforcement has arrived on the battlefield.” He said quietly with a warm smile upon his lips.

The smile infected Thomas and he smiled broadly as he hugged John and Harvey. “I’m grateful that you have arrived, my friends.” 

“Of course, dear chap, it was obvious that help was needed — ” John patted Thomas back “ —   and from the two smartest, and handsomest, partners Manchester has ever seen.”

Tom and Mrs Hughes gave each other a look; realisation dawned upon Tom and Mrs Hughes simply nodded as it was finally confirmed to her. 

“Ah.” Harvey looked over Thomas’ shoulder “ — how rude of us — “ He said and walked over to Tom and Mrs Hughes “ — I am Harvey Bennett and this is John Churchill, and you must be the famous Mrs Hughes and Tom Branson.” He bowed his head and greeted Mrs Hughes with a kiss to her hand. “Charmed to meet you, we have heard a lot about you.” 

Mrs Hughes smiled “I have heard a lot about you as well, and now I’ve heard what I have suspected for a while — “ She said and looked over at Thomas and Matthew.

“Just like Matthew and Thomas, we are doomed to be known as bachelors for the rest of our lives.” John grinned and winked at Harvey.

“Tactfully put, for once, darling.” Harvey rolled his eyes “But enough about that — Tom” Harvey shook Tom’s hand “ — delighted to see you again, I hope this revelation does not make you too uncomfortable.”

“Surprised if anything, but I suppose you can never tell — can you?” Tom shook Harvey’s hand in return and then John’s. 

“There’s little tells that you can spot with enough experience, that is how we had our suspicions about these two — “ John motioned with his hand to Thomas and Matthew “ — the first time we saw them together.” 

“But that is a story for another time.” Harvey said as he sat down and gave Sybbie a wave. “ — for now, tell us everything that you could not relay to us over the phone and letters.” 

Mrs Hughes poured three more cups of tea and they all sat down around the table. It was a gathering of a small army; four former soldiers leading them into battle to fight for truth and justice.

Thomas kept his emotions at bay but underneath the table he held onto Matthew’s hand tightly as his insides were overcome with immense affection towards how they had all rallied to aid him. Some hope returned to Thomas, as he tried to be brave, and a shimmer for light entered his mind along with thoughts of how, perhaps, all was not lost yet. Maybe there was a chance to clear his name and restore his position by Matthew’s side after all.

Matthew noticed the change upon Thomas’ face and he saw a small fraction of the man Thomas had been before his arrest. He saw a hopeful Thomas again, and some sorrows being washed away from the face of the man who would always have his heart. It was absolutely beautiful and Matthew vowed that Thomas would soon be back in his arms at night in Downton Abbey. 

“So, you are all certain it is this O’Brien then?” John asked.

“Yes” Thomas spoke up for the first time. “I know her and I know her well — “ Thomas made a face “ — she would go to great lengths to ensure my humiliation and removal.” 

“All because you refused to help her nephew?” Harvey shook his head.

“Well, I am not famous for my kindness — “ Thomas said and looked around the table. Mrs Hughes nodded in agreement, Tom rolled his eyes and Matthew grinned widely behind his teacup and mumbled ‘that’s an understatement’. 

Thomas gave his lover a playful shove of the shoulder and continued “I suppose she did not appreciate my dismissal towards her schemes and plots during the wartime either, I believed there were more important matters than Mr Bates and such things.”

“She sounds like quite the delightful person.” Harvey said and took a sip from his tea. 

“My plan — “ Matthew said “ — is to try and get information out of Alfred about his aunt, since he knows her and he was the one who saw Thomas bringing Jimmy to his room — “

“ — this is the price I pay for kindness.” Thomas chimed in with a sour tone of voice. 

Matthew didn’t acknowledge Thomas' words out loud but he squeezed his partner’s hand slightly tighter “ — and I’m hoping — “ He continued “ — to learn more than what he originally told me, it might give me more insight or something to frighten O’Brien with.”

“And I — “ Mrs Hughes spoke up “ — shall speak to James himself. It’s no secret I still believe Mr Barr — Thomas — to be innocent so I have no fear openly sharing it.” She said with a warm smile in Thomas’ direction.

“While I will keep the state running and with you, Harvey and John, be extra eyes and ears as Alfred will surely speak about Matthew asking further questions about Thomas and see what O’Brien will do with that information.” Tom said.

“Ah” John said and gave Harvey a mischievous smile as they were also brewing something up “So we shall hide behind corners and listen in for anything? Marvellous, I haven’t played hide and seek since childhood.” 

Harvey nodded. “Spying, excellent, we surely can handle that.” He gave John a wink “Though we might need to be pointed in the direction of this O’Brien and other important parties as I’m afraid we didn’t memorise faces during our last visit, abrupt as it was.” 

“Alfred and Jimmy you know — “ Thomas said “ — they served you during dinner last time, one is an oaf with ginger hair, the other is blonde and quite the favourite amongst the ladies.” 

“I think I recall them, the blonde one is rather dashing, is he not?” John asked and gazed around the table. 

“I suppose…” Matthew muttered begrudgingly. “Compared to Alfred at least.” 

“And O’Brien?” John asked with an amused look at Matthew, who seemed to hold some jealousy towards this footman Jimmy. 

“Once you see her face you will never forget it.” Tom said with a shudder “She is quite — she is —” 

“The ugliness from her insides shines straight through to the outside.” Thomas said without reservation. “And she constantly looks like she is disgusted by everything and everyone.” 

Matthew raised his eyebrows and looked at Thomas “Darling, you constantly look like you’re disgusted by everything and everyone.” 

“At least I have charm.” Thomas said and grinned at his lover who absolutely melted at seeing Thomas this way; confident. 

Mrs Hughes coughed “What matters is that they will all talk; servants do — despite Mr Carson’s objections.” She informed them.

They all finished their teas. John and Harvey gave each other a nod; speaking without uttering a word. They had thought about it on the trip here; now they had decided to form a small plan of their own which made more sense now that they have heard who else had been somewhat involved; from the maid Anna and her husband John Bates to the main three; Alfred, O’Brien and Jimmy. 

“Before we all go — “ Matthew said as they all stood to clear their tea cups “ — would you mind terribly if I spoke to Thomas in private?” 

No one objected and Matthew and Thomas rose to walk into the sitting room next to the kitchen. Matthew closed the door behind them and as he did their lips came to meet. Perhaps it wasn’t words they shared; but everything was said within that kiss. It was as long and as  desperate as their need for each other. It left them both trembling in each other’s embrace once they broke apart and Matthew whispered; “I will bring you back to my arms.” 

Thomas said nothing but he tightened his hold upon Matthew. He wanted to hold onto the glimmer of hope that had found him and he was afraid that if he spoke it would leave through his mouth. Thomas wanted to believe that his friends could do this.

Eventually they pulled away from each other and Matthew ran his thumb over Thomas’ cheek with parting words “Goodnight, my yearning heart.” 

Thomas turned his head and kissed Matthew’s thumb and looked at him with a longing gaze and simply nodded with a gentle smile. 

With that, Thomas was alone again. He watched from the window as Matthew drove John and Harvey to Downton Abbey while Tom accompanied Mrs Hughes, with Sybbie in her stroller, back to the house. Thomas ran a hand through his hair and wondered, as Matthew vanished from his sight, if his pride was worth the pain of being apart from the love of his life. Maybe, perhaps, if their strategy didn’t work he would let Matthew use his leverage of Lord Grantham — maybe. 

Thomas shook his head and sat down on the sofa of the sitting room. Why couldn’t the world simply understand that love between two men was not a danger? Not a sin? Why couldn’t they see that, no matter what, he and Matthew were meant to be? Why couldn’t they see the pure and faithful love of Harvey and John?

“You’ll do your head in, Thomas Barrow, by asking those questions.” He said to himself.

Chapter Text

Downton Abbey,
October 1920

John and Harvey followed Mr Carson to their designated rooms for the week. They had both thought, on the trip to Downton, that it couldn’t hurt to request valets for the week; and who would be better than this Jimmy — or James as he was also known — to do the job? The second valet they would request would boldly be Mr Bates; he was, after all, Lord Grantham’s valet and supposedly didn’t hold any warm feelings towards Thomas; so surely he would have an opinion or two about everything that transpired. 

“Say, Mr Carson.” Harvey said “We did not bring our valets with us — we thought they could use a week off — “ 

Mr Carson tried to hide his disapproval of such a thing as ‘a week off’ and the audacity to expect Downton to provide valets instead, but instead he just said “I suppose we can spare Molesley, or James — perhaps even Mr Bates if he would accept such a thing as valet for someone who isn’t his Lordship.” 

“Splendid! I reckon Mr Bates will do for me and James for John, don’t you say?” Harvey asked and looked at John who nodded in agreement. 

Mr Carson nodded “Of course, Lord Bennett — ” he said and opened one door. “Your room, Mr Churchill” and then he took a few steps down the hall and guided Harvey to his room. “And yours, Lord B—”

“Just Mr Bennett will do, my cousin holds the fancy titles” Harvey said “ — I’m just living in his shadows.” 

Mr Carson bowed his head. “As you say, Mr Bennett — supper is served at 7 and I’ll have Mr Bates sent to your room beforehand, if he agrees, and James to Mr Churchill.” 

“Excellent, Mr Carson, I greatly appreciate it.” Harvey said.

Mr Carson gave another bow before turning on his heel and walking out of the room. He shook his head disapprovingly. For Mr Carson Lord Grantham’s return could not come fast enough and put some order back within the house. 

“Handsome one, isn’t he? That cousin to the Duke of Manchester.” Maud said from her seat at the table. She had just returned from collecting laundry and her eyes had befallen upon the two guests. 

“He isn’t that much to look at.” Alfred muttered and glanced at Maud “Besides, you’d be better off with a future head valet, don’t you — “ 

Ivy cut Alfred off “Oh, I think Mr Churchill is much easier on the eye.” 

“Ain’t like either of you will get a man like either of them anyway.” Jimmy said “ — so either of you should just go out with me instead.” He said with a cheeky wink at the maid and kitchen maid and they started giggling.

“Why a first footman when you can have valet, ain’t that right?” Alfred spoke up louder.

Maud completely ignored him and batted her eyelashes at Jimmy instead. Sure, Alfred did hold a great position within the house, a position that Mr Barrow had once had — but she was finding it harder to stand being around him. He was not as charming as Jimmy, nor as clever. Then again, perhaps a fool would be better. Maud let out a sigh. “Well, a girl can dream can’t she, Jimmy?”

“That’s quite enough of such talk! ” Mr Carson bellowed as he entered the room and everyone stood up with haste.

“Sorry Mr Carson.”

“I apologise”

“It won’t happen again — but we meant it innocently.”  Ivy said and dropped her gaze to her feet.

“That might be so, but we have more dignity down here than idle gossip and dreams!” Mr Carson sat down, red in the face, and Mrs Patmore served him some tea.

Both Anna and Mrs Hughes shared a glance. They all knew that Mr Carson partook in gossip, perhaps not openly like the rest, but he most certainly did. They shared a smile and Mrs Hughes patted Mr Carson on the arm.

“There there, Mr Carson — no need to raise your blood pressure so.” She said and it seemed to calm Mr Carson down slightly.

“Well, yes, but Mr Nugent, a valet should know better.” He muttered and drank from his tea cup.

“Apologies again, Mr Carson.” Alfred said.

“Hmpfh…” Mr Carson nodded “ — well, I do have a request for you, Mr Bates, and you James.” 

The two in question lifted their heads and looked at the butler.

“Mr Bates, I know it might be an offence to ask the head valet this — but would you mind being the valet for Mr Bennett during his stay?” Mr Carson asked.

“Not at all, Mr Carson, it will be good practice, don’t want to get rusty while his Lordship is away.” Mr Bates said with a smile and then looked at his wife who smiled back and squeezed his arm. 

“And you — “ Mr Carson turned his attention to James now. “ — James, I suppose you won’t object — but will you valet for Mr Churchill?”

“Not at all, Mr Carson.” James answered instantly and threw Alfred a smug grin.

“What about me?” Molesley said, sounding and looking absolutely gutted. “Do they know I took care of Mr Crawley before the war?”

“I suggested the three of you, and they chose Mr Bates and James, I’m sorry Molesley” Mr Carson said.

“Two gentlemen and they didn’t bring valets of their own?” Mrs Patmore said from the archway to the kitchen. “Strange bunch, these big city folks.” She shook her head.

Mr Carson pursed his lips together and muttered “They thought their valets could use a week of holiday.” 

Jimmy looked even more smug. He leaned in closer to Alfred and whispered “A week of holiday? Well, I plan on doing a good job — imagine being offered a position for Mr Churchill and having that privilege?” 

“Don’t let it get to your head, he has a valet already apparently — so you will just be a footman regardless.” Alfred said back “besides, what would someone do with all that time off anyways?”

Jimmy rolled his eyes. “You’re such a bore Alfred, no wonder Maud went off you.” He said harshly “why don’t you live a little? Before someone else might find her interesting."

“Yeah?” Alfred said and went red in the face “like you?”

“Maybe.” Was all Jimmy said with a smirk on his lips.

“At least I have more to offer, I am a valet for the future Lordship and don’t forget they all know what Mr Barrow did to you.” Alfred spat back under his breath.

Now it was Jimmy’s turn to go red in the face. He slammed his teacup back on its saucer. His whole body turned to Alfred and he said, loudly, “Why you — “ but Mrs Hughes' voice spoke louder over his, to interrupt whatever insult Jimmy was planning on throwing Alfred’s way.

“When is the dinner party taking place?” She asked Mr Carson with her eyes glancing cautiously over at James and Alfred who looked like they were about to murder each other.

“This Saturday.” Mr Carson answered. “I have been informed that we will need to prepare a few more rooms for Friday when most of the guests are arriving.” 

“Goodness me — “ Mrs Hughes said “ — well, I have an errand or two to run in the village in the afternoon, I can bring Mrs Patmore’s order to the grocer.” 

“Another visit to the village?” Mr Carson questioned.

“Watch it there, Mrs Hughes, or rumours might start about you having a fancy man you’re visiting.” Mrs Patmore warned the head housekeeper while topping up everyone’s teacups. 

Mr Carson sat up straighter and cleared his throat, looking nervously at Mrs Hughes.

“Oh, Mrs Patmore, watch it yourself so you don’t start the rumour.” Mrs Hughes retaliated.

“I might accompany you, if that’s alright Mrs Hughes.” The butler said suddenly and everyone glanced over at the two heads of staff. 

Mrs Hughes showed no signs of objection to Mr Carson’s proposal, she simply said. “I suppose that’s quite alright, but what errands do you have in the village yourself, Mr Carson?”

“I need to send a telegram…” Was all the butler said before finishing his second cup of tea and retiring to his office until it was time to prepare the dinner and attend to the upstairs as they had drinks beforehand. 

Mrs Hughes chuckled to herself behind her teacup and she could feel her face heating up.

Downton Abbey,
October 1920
Upstairs

“So, you two crafted a plan of your own?” Matthew said in a hushed voice as he, Harvey and John sat in the parlour; waiting for everyone else to join them as well.

“Can’t hurt to know the chap, right?” John said “Also, once Mrs Hughes has spoken to him he might not be able to hide his emotions; might make him careless with his words.” He smirked and took a sip from his drink.

“Absolutely, especially if there is a trustworthy gentleman there to lend his ear.” Harvey said with a chuckle. “I know he’s not to blame, not truly — but we shall get to the bottom of what he truly thinks, perhaps he can be swayed to not feel uncomfortable around Thomas and just that might be enough to reinstate him.”

“I don’t think I can express my gratitude towards the two of you.” Matthew said with a smile. 

Harvey waved his hand in the air. “We have to get it all sorted before our trip to France, don’t we?”

John nodded. “Exactly, we cannot let you two miss out on that come November.” 

“Only trouble with that is — “ Matthew said “ — I am supposed to be taking care of the house while Robert is gone, how can I leave as well? That would look reckless since they are not returning for another four months?”

“Another four months?” Harvey frowned “ — I thought you said on the ride to Tom’s cottage that they had already departed from India.”

“Yes, but it is an awfully long trip.” Matthew said.

“Not that awfully long anymore, not going through the Mediterranean sea — it’s two months tops nowadays I believe.” Harvey informed him with a puzzled expression on his face.

Matthew raised his eyebrow “Two months?” He leaned back in his chair and looked over his shoulder; Mr Carson had excused himself a while ago to oversee that dinner was going accordingly and had yet returned. “Well, that’s good news I suppose — but that doesn’t change — “

“Oh pish posh, Matthew; use your privilege to do something good, especially if Thomas gets reinstated in time, you two truly need time away together; to simply be before the sneaking around starts again.” John said seriously.

Matthew nodded. “Here’s to hoping.” He raised his glass and his two friends did the same.

“Will your mother and the Dowager Countess join us for dinner?” John then asked.

Matthew nodded “Yes, and my mother is absolutely thrilled to see you two again and, well, to quote Cousin Mary — “ ‘Grandmother seemed less than excited but accepted because she could use a decent supper from a decent cook for once’ “ Matthew let out a snort. He knew Cousin Violet well enough to know that she wished to snoop around and hear news from the house and Manchester as well, he knew she was more thrilled than she would ever let on.

“Excellent, then I suspect this dinner will be anything but dull.” Harvey said with a grin.

“My dear friend, when is there ever a dull moment in Downton Abbey?” Matthew laughed. “But, may I ask, before our topic of conversation changes completely — why Mr Bates over Mr Molesley? I’d say Mr Molesley would be easier to get talking…”

“How could I pass up the opportunity to be dressed by the head valet of the house?” Harvey said and raised his eyebrows “I know you are most likely correct, but perhaps there is a way to get Mr Bates to relay his feelings towards Thomas, since they are not warm — so why did he agree to aid with the camera? Was it simply because of Mrs Bates?”

“I take it you have yet to hear any gossip while they dressed you thi—” Matthew was about to ask but his sentence was cut short as the doors to the parlour opened and Mr Carson showed Tom, Mrs Crawley and the Dowager Countess inside.

“And here I thought I would be fashionably late.” Violet said and everyone greeted her respectfully “ — but I guess my granddaughters have perfected the art.” she continued as she took her seat upon the sofa.

“I’m glad you could join us, Cousin Violet.” Matthew said. 

“I do not wish to be rude and pass up an invitation, especially when Mrs Patmore’s food is offered.” Violet replied and accepted her drink from Mr Carson “and I’m frightfully interested in hearing any news from Manchester from our two guests for the evening.”

Matthew let out a small chuckle; he had not been wrong about the Dowager after all.

“ — but — “ Violet continued “ — it is rather stranger without my son and daughter in law hosting the dinner.” 

“I think it’s absolutely lovely.” Mrs Crawley said and patted her son on the shoulder.

“You and I have a different definition of the word ‘lovely’ then, Cousin Isobel.” Violet said with a small scoff. 

Isobel rolled her eyes and then turned her attention to Harvey and John. “It’s lovely —” She threw Violet a glare “ — to see you two again.”

“Pleasure is all ours, Mrs Crawley, to be invited to Downton Abbey instead of barging in unannounced during dinner.”

“That is usually the proper way to go about it.” Violet said but she had a small twinkle in her eye; as if she had found the whole ordeal quite amusing. 

Tom cleared his throat and spoke up “Matthew, may I have a word?” He asked and then motioned for Matthew to join him in the far corner of the parlour.

“Something the matter, Tom?” Matthew asked quietly but with a tone of anxiousness.

“No, I would not say something is wrong.” Tom replied in a calm voice. “ — but I wanted to let you know that I brought Sybbie with me and, well, I know it’ll be a long week and you haven’t spent a night — “ Tom inhaled deeply “ — what I wished to say is that I intend to spend the night in Downton Abbey and my key is underneath a stone by the cottage.” He gave Matthew a small smile “I thought it would be nice if you could surprise — “ Tom looked around nervously, he purposely didn’t say Thomas name, nor ‘ him’. Tom didn’t think anyone was listening but he’d rather be safe than sorry on a matter like this. 

Matthew’s face lit up brighter than the fireplace and he suddenly looked 10 years younger; his smile was so broad that Tom feared Matthew’s face would split in two.

“How could I ever repay you?” Matthew asked and gripped Tom’s arm tightly in gratitude. “Not only for this, but for everything, my friend.”

“There is nothing to repay — you always supported Sybil and I.” Tom said with a smile before they returned to the rest to await the Crawley sisters.

Matthew sat down next to his mother, who turned her head and asked her son “Is everything alright?”

Matthew nodded and sighed dreamily. “Everything is simply splendid this evening.”

Isobel gave her son a pat on the arm and she couldn’t help but wonder if the smile on his face was due to this servant girl, Matthew’s sweetheart, that roamed within Downton Abbey somewhere. She had not pried further into it since Matthew’s confession last year on Christmas Eve. Was she curious? Of course — she did, after all, have quite the reputation of being nosy. Could Isobel say she hasn’t given the maids second glances to see who could be her son’s type? No, she couldn’t — she had absolutely done that. She truly hoped that one day Matthew would feel safe enough to tell her who it was that held his love.

Soon after, Mary and Edith entered the room, and they could finally take their seats by the dinner table. While everyone was chatting away, Matthew was frightfully distracted thanks to Tom’s kindness and he could not stop thinking about how he would finally spend a night with Thomas again. He knew they could’ve tried sneaking to the shed at night, like so many times before. Though it felt more risky now, what if someone saw Thomas walking across the fields alone? Still on the Downton Estate? What new troubles would that bring? No, they had never dared going further than the backyard of Tom’s cottage, as it was hidden by the bushes. He knew Thomas would dare to risk it, but Matthew didn’t — not to mention if someone saw him leave Tom’s cottage. Therefore, a night together had been simply impossible since Thomas’ release. That was their last night together, a mere mockery — nothing but a tease before Thomas had been ripped away from his side again. So there had been no shed for them, not peaceful nights.

Also, Matthew did not know if the shed was still standing. He had not been to see it since they spent the night of the fair inside of it. Had it finally crumpled? Was it nothing but boards covered in mildew upon the autumn ground?  Somehow that felt like a bad omen and made Matthew completely uneasy. A chill went down his spine and his blissful face turned dark for a moment until all of his thoughts were interrupted by Edith addressing him.

“ — Isn’t that right, Cousin Matthew?” She asked.

Matthew shook his head slightly and his eyes went from staring at absolutely nothing to look at Edith. “Pardon?” He asked “I apologise, I think my mind went wandering for a moment.”

“You said travels from India would take a few months?” 

“Ah yes — “ Matthew cleared his throat “ — I did say 3 to 4 months but apparently I was wrong, it seems as if two months is more likely; or even less.” 

“Two months?” Mary asked in confusion “When did you learn this?”

“That would be from me, Lady Mary.” Harvey informed the oldest Crawley sister “We spoke of it in the parlour before you arrived, with the Mediterranean route it has lessened the time of travelling to India significantly, didn’t you find it odd that they arrived to India so fast?”

“I must admit — “ Matthew said “ — it was not something that crossed my mind.” He gave his friends a small smile; and he knew they understood that he had other things on his mind than when Lord and Lady Grantham arrived and how fast it had been. 

“They must have splendid conditions then, did they not arrive there mid-September and now it’s already late October?” Mrs Crawley asked.

“Seems so, boats truly have developed quite drastically haven’t they?” Edith said. “So, a Christmas with mama and papa might come true then, how splendid!”

“I certainly hope so.” Violet agreed and then looked over at John, who was seated next to her. “How is the Churchill family fairing? I remember young Winston served in the Boer wars with Robert.”

“They are faring well, as far as I know, Lady Grantham.” John replied.

“Is he still a member of the Liberal party?” She then asked with a disapproving tone. 

“Yes he is, though last time I saw him in London — in September — he seemed to sway more conservative as most Churchill’s do.” John let out a chuckle.

“Most, but not all?” Isobel chimed in. “How about you, John? You never seemed conservative to me.”

“Cousin Isobel, I don’t believe it polite to ask someone about their politics at dinner.” Mary said sternly. 

Isobel scoffed. “At this table? We have quite the medley already with a working lady — “ She looked at Edith with approval “ — an Irish revolutionary marrying above his status — “ Tom earned another approving glance from Isobel “ — an heir from an upper-middle class upbringing, a cousin of a Duke and cousin Violet of course — “

“ — and let’s not forget you, Cousin Isobel — the ever liberal” Violet pointed out.

“It’s absolutely no worries, Lady Mary, I’m very much a liberal” John admitted “ — soon probably the last in the family, and some gentlemen must differ from the norms.” 

“Here here” Isobel exclaimed in agreement.

“Churchill family gatherings must be quite the spectacle.” The Dowager Countess commented but she wore a smile behind the wine glass she had brought up to drink from.

“So, Mr Churchill and — “ 

“ — Please, Lady Edith, call us John and Harvey.”

“John, Harvey, we didn’t get a chance to know much about you last time you visited — tell us — “ Edith said with a smile “ — are you two bachelors like dear cousin Matthew?”

Matthew gave Edith a glance. Of course they would ask, much like people asked Matthew the same at any given opportunity. Though both John and Harvey seemed unbothered by the question and Matthew figured they must have been asked it a million times before. It did, however, occur to Matthew that he had never asked his friends how they fought, and most likely still fight, off proposals of marriage. Perhaps they could lend advice to Matthew as he knew that Lord and Lady Grantham would never stop introducing suitable ladies for him. 

“I am afraid so, Lady Edith.” Harvey answered her. 

“How come?” Mary asked in her straightforward ways that often came by as rude.

“Dreadfully boring reasons; for me — “ Harvey said “ — I differ from my family in believing that marriage should only happen out of love.” 

“How modern of you.” Isobel said with a nod of agreement.

“Marry for love? How strange.” Violet said with a chuckle. “A proper match is not made out of love.”

“Yet it is what makes a marriage successful.” Isobel defended Harvey’s views.

“Clearly not, otherwise Mr Bennett here would be married, would he not?” Violet argued.

Harvey just laughed “You are right on the nose, Lady Grantham, how can one be in a successful marriage without being married?” Harvey threw John a glance that was so quick that not even Matthew caught it “ — but I’m afraid I cannot stray from my morals.”

“And good morals at that.” Isobel said with a smile.

“Perhaps you will be lucky and love will strike at the dinner party.” Edith encouraged Harvey. “There will be plenty of lovely ladies attending.”

“Perhaps we will.” John grinned and gave Edith a wink.

A wink from a handsome gentleman was something that would normally send the under-appreciated Crawley sister blushing, but Matthew took note that she did nothing but smile back politely. It made him wonder if her visits to London were not all due to work. Matthew hoped, as well as her being safe and smart about it, that she did fancy someone in the capital. If anyone deserved it, it was poor Edith.

“Maybe we will find Mary a suitor as well.” Violet whispered to Isobel “As I have gathered your son is not quite taken with her anymore.”

“You are most certainly correct about that.” Isobel whispered back and smiled at her son who was now engaged in conversation with Edith about her latest published piece. 

Dinner went on and after pudding they all enjoyed an after drink in the parlour before the Dowager Countess and Mrs Crawley both announced that it was time for them to retire for the evening. The rest lingered only for an hour longer until Tom decided to see to Sybbie and everyone else decided to take to bed as well. 

Matthew was full of anticipation and anxiousness; so much so that he tried to hurry Alfred along and might have come across as quite rude to the boy. Eventually Alfred left and Downton Abbey grew quiet. There were no sounds but the wind outside and the embers burning out in the fireplaces around the grand house.

That was when Matthew stopped staring at the darkness outside his window and dressed himself with haste. He was careful not to make a sound as he walked downstairs. It was a challenge, but it was a challenge he had faced many times before. Soon the chilly autumn breeze hit his cheeks and Matthew smiled to himself — was on his way to warmth and joy. His yearning heart screamed within him for his one and only; for Thomas Barrow. 

He had taken the path to Tom’s cottage so many times that he knew all the shortcuts that would see him to Thomas faster. Down the road, a quick walk across the field, and there it was; his destination. It laid in darkness except for one light shining and Matthew knew it was from Thomas’ room. He knew his darling well, and he knew his was sitting awake; wishing he could have been at Downton to hear everything that happened during the dinner. Just like the had before, just like how it should be.

Matthew wasted no more time and he stepped over stones surrounded by grass, he walked the last part of the path and found the key right where Tom had said it would be. He slid it into the lock and turned it; entering into the warmth.

It only took a minute for footsteps to be heard from upstairs, making their way to the staircase.

Chapter Text

Downton Abbey,
October 1920s
Tom’s Cottage

There Thomas stood, by the staircase, with a candle in his hand and Matthew saw the surprise upon his being illuminated by the small flame. He smiled and let out a content sigh straight from the heart. Matthew’s own steps took towards his yearning heart. 

One step closer.

“You’re here…” Thomas whispered in disbelief.

One step closer.

“I’m here…” Matthew replied in a whisper of his own.

They came face to face and stood close enough for their breaths to be felt upon their slightly parted lips. With one harsh puff of air, Matthew extinguished the candle. In darkness they stood and they hesitated no longer; Thomas threw his arms around Matthew’s neck, the candle went tumbling down the stairs, and Matthew gripped Thomas’ hips. Their lips met in a violent kiss, their teeth clashed and Matthew groaned as Thomas bit his lower lip and tugged at his hair.

There was no distance between them any longer. Matthew’s coat was already halfway off his shoulders and his hands were pushed underneath Thomas’ sleeping shirt. They kissed and clawed at each other as if years had passed by; as if Matthew had just returned from the war again.

Their devouring love was expressed in every needy whine; in every thrust of their hips and Thomas’ pressing Matthew up against the wall in the staircase. His hands left Matthew’s blonde locks of hair and found their way to his thighs. Then, much like their nights in the trenches, he lifted his lover up and pinned him up to the wall with his hips. 

Now it was Matthew’s turn to grip Thomas’ hair and pull at it while Thomas rolled his groin forwards to let their erected members create friction through their trousers. With it, Matthew broke the kiss and cried out for his lover. He begged him not to stop; he urged him to continue with all his might.

Thomas had no plans of stopping, he kept going until Matthew trembled against him, until he was quivering himself. He did not stop until they were both taken over by the orgasmic force rushing through their veins and they both released within their underpants. Not until then did Thomas' movements stop but he did not let Matthew, or himself, catch a single breath.  

Instead he kissed Matthew again and, with their tongues tangled together, he slowly walked up the stairs and carried Matthew into his room. 

They fell together upon Thomas’ bed, that made a cracking sound below, and there Thomas was swift to remove Matthew’s clothes until his beloved laid naked before him. He had to pause for a moment, as he always would be in disbelief that this stunning perfection of an heir was his. It would always seem surreal— would Thomas one day awake in the middle of the war and this had all been nothing but a dream?

Matthew opened his eyes as he felt the lack of Thomas’ touches and saw his lover gaze down at him with watery eyes of absolute love. His heart skipped a beat and he smiled as he reached out and cupped Thomas’ cheek.

“Thomas…” He spoke softly.

“Matthew…” Thomas replied equally quiet and turned his head to place tender kisses down Matthew’s palm and wrist. He inhaled deeply and now Matthew inhabited his final sense with his scent. Thomas was forever enthralled. 

Matthew pushed himself up from the bed slightly and, with his free hand, he began to unbutton and remove Thomas’ sleeping attire. Matthew’s gentle fingers undressing him caused Thomas to let out a sigh. It was fingers that had become more callous, the skin slightly harder and rougher, throughout the war but they still felt so soft to Thomas. They were the only hands that would touch him for an eternity, the hands belonging to the only man he would ever want or need — the hands of Matthew Crawley. 

Once Thomas' bare body was exposed they took a moment to simply gaze at each other and Thomas asked; “Will you stay until dawn breaks?”

“I will stay until the sun kisses the same skin my lips have tasted” Matthew replied.

Their urgency had been taken care of on the staircase and now they could cherish this rare moment of being all alone. No one would walk in and disturb them. 

Thomas sat up and crossed his legs, Matthew sat in front of in the same position, and their foreheads came to rest together but their eyes were open so they could look at each other with admiration while their hands roamed freely over their naked bodies.

Matthew’s fingertips traced Thomas’ defined jawline, down his throat and down his sculpted chest. He shuddered from feeling Thomas’ skin tingle against his touch. 

Thomas palms stroked up Matthew’s thighs and across his stomach; gasping from the sensation of caressing Matthew in the moonlight that shone through the window. 

Both their hands eventually came to rest over each other’s hearts.

“No matter what, Thomas Barrow, my heart beats for no other person upon this earth.”

“No matter what, Matthew Crawley, I belong to you — in love and death.”

With these words their lips met slowly and Thomas moved Matthew to straddle his lap. Thomas smiled up at his lover, who also smiled down at him, and reached over to grab the vaseline from the nightstand. 

Even preparing Matthew was almost as beautiful as the act of sex itself. To watch how his face went from slight discomfort to sheer pleasure; it was mesmerising in Thomas’ eyes. The way Matthew held onto Thomas’ face as he sank onto his fingers and let them stretch him; it was breathtaking. Thomas saw the pleasure crash through Matthew; and Thomas was normally let him beg — but not tonight. Thomas lined his lubricated and ready cock up; sinking slowly into Matthew with a moan of sincerest pleasure leaving his lips.

Matthew’s entire back arched, his chest rose, and his head dipped backwards as he felt complete. He didn’t need to breathe, he didn’t need to eat; he needed no running waters or falling stars — Thomas Barrow satisfied even the deepest hunger; this was all Matthew needed in life. He’d rather starve than being without Thomas, he’d rather be parched than be without his yearning heart. He’d go to hell a thousand times if it meant he could always have this love. 

Thomas leaned forwards and tasted the sweat-glistening skin upon Matthew’s throat. With a steady hand on Matthew’s lower back, and the other on his hip, Thomas drove his cock further inside of his lover; drawing out groan after groan from Matthew’s lips and then a loud cry as Thomas’ buried himself to the hilt. His tongue dragged over every inch of Matthew it could reach and his thrusts rose Matthew’s body to ceiling before it came crashing back down onto Thomas’ cock. 

Each time Matthew’s body fell back down it buried Thomas’ cock deeper and deeper inside of him; so deep that inevitably it finally got buried straight against that spot within; the spot that made Matthew tremble and cry in pleasure. Matthew swore the whole house shook around him as he was driven to the point of insanity from pleasure. 

Thomas fell onto his back and watched as Matthew completely lost himself; bouncing up and down on his erection. Thomas’ nails dug into Matthew’s skin and his throat was so dry that his own cries came out in nothing more than horse whines of need. Matthew looked godlike in the pale moonlight with sweat rolling down his body as he rode Thomas’ with his eyes shut and his hands clenched upon Thomas’ chest. The world was Matthew, the world was his love for Matthew; it was how it would always be. His heart pounded to the sound of Matthew’s voice, his breath was breathing to the pace of Matthew’s existence. They were one; it was them. Curse all that said they were wrong, because their love would never be. 

Matthew’s eyes opened slightly and he looked down, through his eyelashes, at Thomas watching him. It was blinding; the way Thomas’ felt inside of him and the way Thomas’ looked laying below him — completely engulfed in the way Matthew was moving. He could spend forever here; letting Thomas’ erection thrust inside of him, with Matthew rolling his hips and panting. 

Always.

Always and a day.

This lifetime, the next.

Matthew bit down hard on his lower lip and tossed his head backwards. How could he scream louder? How could he express the amount of pleasure Thomas and his cock was giving him? It was consuming him; it was everything. Matthew’s body felt nothing but it, it felt nothing but Thomas and everything his lover was giving him. There would be deep marks on him from how deep Thomas’ nails were cutting his skin; and he was glad for it. He would feel Thomas for days to come. 

Euphoria was about to erupt and with a gasp and a scream of his lover’s name, Matthew fell forwards as he came untouched over Thomas’ stomach. He moaned and gasped against Thomas’ chest while his hands were tugging and pulling at the sheets below them. 

Thomas’ arms warped around Matthew and his own orgasm fell upon him as he felt Matthew’s hot spurts upon his skin. He held his lover so close, he held him tight, as he could not stop his body from shaking.

Both laid tangled up without saying a word. They simply existed in each other’s embrace until Matthew kissed Thomas nose and then lips, before reaching his hand to brush away hairs from Thomas’ forehead. His smile was tired but so warm as he whispered. 

“When we first met, I never would have guessed I’d end up in your arms.”

“And now my arms will always be here, to hold you until I fade from this earth.” Thomas whispered back. 

The kiss they then shared was so gentle and tender; sweeter than candy, and they both closed their eyes as slow tears rolled down their cheeks. 

“In this life”

“In the next.”

“In all the lives to come.”

Matthew buried his face into Thomas’ neck and Thomas’ buried his face into Matthew’s hair. That was how they fell into a slumber together for the first time since the warm days of August.

Now the season had changed, and so had everything else. Summer days had been replaced by chilled autumn and grey skies had taken over the summer sky. The valet was no longer a valet, and the heir’s bed at Downton Abbey was uncomfortably empty; but what was never changing was the forbidden love between two men from Manchester, united from war and love. 

Even as the night faded too fast, and their sleep ended, their love would stay the same. 

“We survived war, time apart, foolish ways, grief and arrest, my darling — it will survive this as well.” Matthew said as they parted in the dawn’s early light with a lingering kiss.

Now was the time to set things in motion, to make tongues wagging and make a lady’s maid’s sense of security crumble before her feet in order to bring Thomas Barrow back to where he belonged — in Downton Abbey with the future Earl Of Grantham. 

Chapter Text

Downton Abbey,
October, 1920

Matthew had barely returned at an appropriate time. His mind had been far too lost in thought and not realised how slow it had made his steps back to Downton Abbey. He knew he had acted slightly impatiently towards Alfred yesterday and he hoped he hadn’t messed up too badly and offended the temporary valet. Regardless, it was time — no more dillydallying; he needed to get Alfred talking. Matthew had quite the plan of his own; starting with a heartfelt apology. 

So, as Matthew stood in his room being dressed for a day of hunting, he tried to distance his emotions the best he could and with a straight face he looked at his reflection through the mirror — telling himself that he could do this, he could pretend for Thomas Barrow. Matthew drew a heavy breath and exhaled slowly through his nostrils before speaking;

“I must apologise if I acted rudely yesterday evening, Mr Nugent”

“Not at all, Mr Crawley.” Alfred said and moved a box aside in the closet to reach for Matthew’s hunting boots. 

“I feel as if I did, but may I confide in you about the reason why, Mr Nugent?” Matthew adjusted his wool jacket and stepped into his boots before letting his eyes fall upon the valet. 

“Of course, Mr Crawley.” Alfred replied with a nod and began removing hairs and dust from Matthew’s jacket. 

“Ever since what happened with T—Mr Barrow, I’ve been puzzled and often it consumes my mind; how could I not have known?” Matthew bit the inside of his cheek and he told himself, once again, you can do this. “Of course we all suspected but I feel embarrassed to have shown my support the way I did.” He felt nauseous, it all felt like a betrayal to his heart; but he could do this. 

“Don’t be embarrassed, Mr Crawley, he fooled James the most with his ‘friendship’ ” Alfred said. 

Matthew had to swallow his anger; he had to think of the bigger picture, but still his instincts told him to defend the man he loved. Instead he coughed and nodded “Right you are, but I considered Mr Barrow a friend for many years — well, you know the story by now.” He cleared his throat once more before continuing “And you have already told me what you saw that night but I think if I know everything that transpired that day, after the tug-o-war, up to when you saw Mr Barrow enter downstairs with James I could finally, fully, come to terms with it.” Matthew motioned with his hand to the chairs by the window; offering Alfred a seat. “If you don’t mind, that is, Mr Nugent.”

“Of course not, Mr Crawley.” Alfred said with a naive eagerness to earn Mr Crawley’s full trust. He took the seat offered to him and began telling the story of the day at the fair.

“So after we won tug-o-war. Miss O’Brien suggested we all have a celebratory drink together —” Alfred said, and Matthew already knew this part — but the rest he had not heard of, it seems as if Thomas had let a lot of details slip his mind. Alfred told him how they had two pints each at the fair before they separated to enjoy the day until it was time to walk to the pub. This is when things got interesting to Matthew. 

“ — we were all concerned about James when he didn’t show, Ivy first asked about him and then O’Brien since neither was with us.” Alfred recalled “But Thomas said he was probably fine and wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to drink your money away, Mr Crawley.” Alfred mumbled “Which now seems odd now, since he claimed to be James' friend, wouldn’t he be concerned?” 

Matthew could only manage a stiff nod “Since James didn’t show, I take it you didn’t drink up my money?” 

“Oh — “ Alfred gave Matthew a slight smile “ — no we did, but Mr Bates had the money instead.” 

“Mr Bates?” Matthew cocked his eyebrow. 

Alfred nodded “He had convinced James to give it to him instead when he saw him with a third pint, apparently.”  

“Ah, how wise of Mr Bates.” Matthew said but his head was spinning with thoughts. So it seemed like a conversation with Mr Bates was in order as well, as it seemed he was the last one to see James before they all departed for the pub; had he been concerned? Had James acted strangely? What had Mr Bates seen? How he wished he had asked Thomas further questions, or asked Alfred about this earlier; and not simply what he had seen at night. How foolish Matthew had been.

“ —I’d say so, Mr Crawley — “ Alfred said and looked at Matthew with uncertainty “ — do you wish me to — ?”

“Continue? Yes, go on, Mr Nugent.” Matthew urged him on.

Alfred nodded and obeyed. “Then, at the pub, we drank and talked for awhile but me and Maud left right after Daisy and Ivy, before Thomas and Mr and Mrs Bates.”

“You and Maud?”

“Yes, Mr Crawley, we walked spent quite some time together in the servants hall — “ Alfred smiled like a smitten fool “ — she asked me to sit next to her and we talked for a long time until I saw it all happen — “ 

Matthew’s lips pursed together and his whole body stiffened up. Until you saw a lie Matthew said to himself. This part he had heard; how Alfred saw Thomas enter with James; how Alfred had followed them upstairs, how he had mistook a friendly act for something so sinister and wrong. 

“Thank you, Mr Nugent, you have helped more than you think.” Matthew said with a nod and forced smile. Though it was no lie; he now had a lead, a trail to follow. 

Alfred was absolutely beaming “I’m glad to hear so, Mr Crawley. I know Mr Barrow was your friend and I’m glad to help you get closure about him.”

“You absolutely have.” Matthew gave a nod.

“If that’s all, Mr Crawley.” Alfred stood up and bowed his head.

“Ah, yes, Mr Nugent — I owe you for this, thank you.” Matthew said and the temporary valet left the heir alone in his room. 

Matthew sat in his chair, stewing in his thoughts. His fingers were gently rubbing over his chin while he tried to decide the best course of action. Matthew needed to speak to Mr Bates, that was certain — but he had not expected to hear that Maud was there. He knew she had once been soft on Thomas, and annoyingly so, but could she be involved or was her presence a mere accident? If it was the latter, why had she not spoken of what she had seen, since she had been right there with Alfred? She was the tricky part, how would Matthew ask her? He hadn’t spoken more than a few words to the girl. Perhaps that was a task for Mrs Hughes, as her superior, despite them not being on great terms. But how would Mrs Hughes know? 

Then again, doesn’t everyone know everything downstairs? He knew gossiping was a past-time activity for them; and for once he was glad for it, since he counted on it this time. Matthew needed Alfred to speak about what they had spoken of; to brag how the heir trusted him so greatly and was finally at peace with what had happened. Matthew had thrown the stone towards the water and hoped for it to land and ripple across the surface. 

A smile crept across Matthew’s face; this had never been him, schemes and plots — but after so many years with Thomas, the man had truly rubbed off on him. All is fair in love and war, and this was a war for love; for the justice of Thomas Barrow. 

All that remained was for their hunting party and then a meeting in the cottage. 

*

How long have you been working here for, Mr Kent?” John asked his valet for the week. 

“Since January, Mr Churchill.” James replied.

“You and Mr Nugent started together?” John prodded. He noticed how James' face tensed and his fist clenched tighter around the lint brush at the mention of Alfred. “Not a fan of Mr Crawley’s new valet?” He asked with a slight chuckle; he wanted the question to sound more humorous and conceal the fact that he knew the truth. 

But, to John’s delight, James answered quite seriously “I don’t think it’s wise to speak ill of Mr Crawley’s valet, sir” 

John cocked his eyebrow. “Ah, so you do not like him then?” 

James did not reply, he simply looked away.

“Preferred Mr Barrow, did you?” John fixed his tie and looked himself in the mirror “I must admit that I did as well.”

James tensed further but still he didn’t answer the questions.

John spun around and looked at James “Then let me guess, you had hoped to be the new valet? Being first footman isn’t that bad, is it?” John said with a smile but he could’ve sworn he heard James mutter ‘like you would know’ under this breath; and John thought James was quite correct in that statement but he chose not to acknowledge it. 

Instead James drew a heavy breath and sad “ I’spouse I did, sir, after everything that happened I thought I —” James cut himself off and shook his head “ — I apologise, Mr Churchill, I don’t wish to complain.”

“No need to apologise, I did ask after all.” John said with a smile and grabbed his hat “ — I have a stain on my dinner shirt, I left it hanging in the wardrobe, could you be so kind and get it cleaned before this evening?” 

“Certainly, Mr Churchill.” James said and opened the closet door to fetch the shirt in question before heading towards the door.

“Oh, Mr Kent— one more thing.” John said before James left the room. “ — don’t worry so much, you’re a mighty fine valet.” 

James thanked him and left the room. He found himself rather agitated from the encounter, not so much at Mr Churchill but at the questions; especially about Thomas. Why had he asked Jimmy such a question? If he had preferred Mr Barrow over Alfred? Truthfully, he did — or he had — before everything had happened. Because something happened, it must have, right? A man bent like Barrow would be twisted enough to take advantage, correct? 

But there was a little nagging voice within Jimmy that wondered why Barrow hadn’t tried anything earlier; they had spent quite a lot of time together after all. ‘Opportunity, Jimmy’ He told himself ‘You were drunk’. But why had he never created an opportunity before? Barrow could have taken him to the pub many times and tried something and then taken him away from prying eyes, away from Downton — Jimmy shuddered. He didn’t wish to think about this, he wanted nothing but to forget it — but how could you forget what you don’t remember? 

No — Barrow was a nancy boy, the opportunity presented itself and he took it when it presented itself. That was it, that’s how it had to be. Alfred even saw it! If only he could remember — if only he could recall what had happened after that pint O’Brien had given to him.

Suddenly he found himself in the servants hall, he stared down at the shirt he had completely forgotten about. He frowned; why was he holding a dinner shirt? Oh, that’s right, Mr Churchill needed it cleaned. With a heavy sigh he spun around to make his way to the laundry room when the figure of Mrs Hughes stood before him, wearing a kind smile upon her face. 

“James, are you alright lad?” She asked.

Jimmy opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again — then closed it once more. 

“Why do you have a dress shirt in the servants hall?” Mrs Hughes asked and looked down at the white clothing item in the temporary valet’s hand.

“M’sorry Mrs Hughes, I got lost in thought —” Jimmy said and clenched it tighter in his fist “ — I’m taking it to the laundry right now, it’s for Mr Churchill.” 

“Well then, you better get on with it then.” Mrs Hughes said and looked him up and down “Unless there was something on your mind?” 

Jimmy shook his head even though he had plenty of things on his mind. There was also a plethora of questions he had for Mrs Hughes about Barrow, since she insisted he was innocent in this whole ordeal. But if he showed even a little bit of doubt, if he let it show that he was not as certain as he let on, rumours would start — rumours would spread. Folks would start talking and speculate that he, Jimmy, was also bent like Thomas. It would mean to openly admit that Alfred had been able to influence his mind.

Barrow was gone, so why did it even matter what he said and did? He was probably away somewhere, working as a valet — maybe even a butler — for another fancy family. So why did everyone waste their time talking about it? Why did Jimmy waste his time thinking about it? All that he needed to focus on was his work, especially for Mr Churchill; perhaps a position in a big fancy city would present itself for Jimmy if he did a good job.

So he bowed his head at Mrs Hughes and walked past her to clean the shirt that he still held in his fist that was, still, clenched too tightly for someone with a clear mind.

Mrs Hughes had sensed that it had not been quite the right time to speak to James; she wondered what had taken place in Mr Churchill’s room for the lad to look like that; completely lost. Perhaps he had managed to stir some thoughts around in James’ head, maybe doubts were beginning to fester. She surely hoped so; though she didn’t wish for James to suffer either. Poor lad was nothing but a victim in O’Brien’s vile plan, and now he was being used in a plan of their own. Though when the truth was revealed she knew James would feel relieved to know that nothing happened. 

But in regards to what had been said between James and Mr Churchill, she would know more in their meeting later in Tom’s cottage. Which reminded her that she needed to get ready to go to the village with Mr Carson after lunch had taken place. She still needed an excuse to part ways with him before they returned to Downton Abbey. 

Not that she minded the company of the butler, quite the contrary, but not today of all days. It would be far too strange for her to return all the way back to Downton Abbey only to vanish instantly. Luckily she didn’t have to lie about running errands in the village, that part was very true, and there was no shame in enjoying the company of Mr Carson meanwhile, despite them constantly butting heads about Barrow. Mr Carson was quite a stubborn man, a quality that was infuriating and rather charming at times — when it was not about Thomas.

Mrs Hughes touched her hand to her cheek and felt it rather warm. She patted both her cheeks with her palms and straightened up; she looked around as if someone would catch her blushing — something she certainly never would do. How absolutely silly. No, it was not a blush. She simply felt embarrassed because she was deceiving people — something Mrs Hughes did not like to do. But it was for a good cause, it was to bring justice to someone who had been wronged. It was for Thomas Barrow, the lad she loved like a son and her motherly love needed to protect him at any cost, like Thomas' own mother never had done. 

Downton Estate,
October, 1920

“I cannot believe you, John — “ Matthew said with flabbergast as Harvey was lining up a shot “ — you asked James if he preferred Thomas over Alfred?”

“Ah, yes, I suppose it felt like a good opportunity in the conversation to poke at it slightly.” John defended himself and shrugged his shoulders. “Perhaps it will make him mull over the facts of the night and his own assumptions, especially since the two were friends at one point.”

“Yes, but — “ 

“Oh, will the two of you be quiet for a moment?” Harvey muttered in annoyance.

Tom held back laughter behind the three friends. He was perhaps not the best, nor the most enthusiastic, but he did enjoy the banter between the men — and it was a nice break from all the paperwork and Mary’s constant questions about when he was going to move into the house with Sybbie. “You upper-class lads aren’t too different from the rest, are you?” He pointed out with a smile “ — reminds me of me and me friends in Ireland.” 

Harvey fired then sighed heavily as he missed and saw the pheasant flying away. He stood back up and looked over at Tom. “I know, chap, that you cannot return to Ireland, but have you considered bringing your friends out here for a visit?” 

“I fear if I did that I would make Matthew Lord Grantham a few years too early.” Tom shook his head.

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic.” Harvey laughed, “I’m sure they are lovely people.”

“I’m afraid I’m not — Lord Grantham barely survived my brother visiting and my friends are him but four times over.” Tom let out a saddened sigh.

“I’m sorry to have brought it up, Tom, you must miss them and  your homeland.” Harvey apologised and patted Tom’s shoulder.

“There’s a lot I miss, I lost a lot and a lot earlier than I thought.” Tom said and Matthew knew he was thinking of Sybil. “ — and I made a lot of mistakes, but my dreams have not changed and one of those is that Ireland shall be free.”

“Perhaps, when that day comes, you can return and Sybbie can finally see the country you and Sybil wanted to raise her in.” Matthew said and offered Tom a supportive smile.

“Here here — “ John exclaimed “ — let’s all hope for that!” 

“We truly are terrible at hunting; speaking so loudly that we are scaring everything away.” Harvey chuckled.

“It is a good thing we have a whole week to bring some game back.” Tom said. 

They all nodded in agreement and Matthew said. “Even if it is nothing but an excuse, it would be quite good to bring something back to be cooked for the dinner party.” 

“Then perhaps let us speak more back at your cottage, Tom, so we do not have to repeat ourselves far too much.” Harvey pointed out.

“That sounds like a good idea, I have gathered quite a lot of information.” Matthew said.

“Ah — and now we shall be curious until this afternoon.” John said with a pout but had a twinkle in his eyes. 

Matthew felt nothing less than blessed; being surrounded by these wonderful friends. His hopes were high, perhaps far too high, but he couldn’t help but feel like within this week Thomas would be back as his valet and everything would be restored to normal. It swelled inside of him, this brightness, and the first thing he would do was to spend an entire night with Thomas in their bed in his room. He would gaze, feel, hold and kiss the wonderfully kindly unkind man his whole heart pounded and screamed for. 

Downton Village,
October 1920

Mr Carson stood outside of the bakery, awaiting Mrs Hughes, after he had sent off a telegram to Lord Grantham to keep him updated on the situation at Downton Abbey. He didn’t enjoy bothering his Lordship, not when he knew he and Lady Grantham deserved a holiday after the year they had been through. However, Mr Carson felt it was his duty to let his Lordship know about Mr Crawley’s Manchester friends appearing, the dinner party — the fact he suspected that Mr Crawley truly was not over Mr Barrow’s dismissal and prepare Lord Grantham for it when he returned. 

“So, Mrs Hughes — “ The Butler spoke as she exited the bakery “ — have you gathered everything you needed?” 

Mrs Hughes nodded. “I believe so, Mr Carson — the list of what Ms Patmore needs has been delivered and the ingredients will arrive on Thursday for us.”  She readjusted the box in her hand.

“And you have gotten yourself some treats?” Mr Carson asked as the two began walking back to Downton Abbey.

“I did, Mr Carson.” Mrs Hughes replied. She didn’t elaborate but the box did contain some freshly baked buns; six of them to be precise. It was, of course, for the meeting in Tom’s cottage and she thought it would bring some cheer to Thomas to have some with his tea since the poor lad could not leave the cottage. She truly could not imagine what it felt like to be shut away like that; unable to move freely from the fear of being seen. It had been far too long and she applauded Thomas’ strength to be able to do such a thing.

“And you sent your telegram to Lord Grantham, I presume?” Mrs Hughes then asked Mr Carson.

“I did, it’s my duty to keep his Lordship informed about Downton Abbey.” Mr Carson stated with a stern face. 

“Oh, Mr Carson — let the young be young.” Mrs Hughes said “ — let them have their fun and dinner parties, it is not like the work is suffering from it with Mr Crawley in charge and Mr Branson aiding him; and now Lady Mary’s interest is growing for it as well.” 

“It’s simply not how it’s run, the household, the estate.” Mr Carson scoffed “ — back in the days.”

“Back in the days is back then, Mr Carson. The world is constantly changing.” 

“Far too fast for my liking.” 

Mrs Hughes shook her head. “If the world didn’t change then we would be still running around naked and living in caves.”

“Mrs Hughes!” Mr Carson exclaimed in shock.

Mrs Hughes pursed her lips together “All I am saying is that nothing stays the same and is it not better that Downton is still within the family and starting to thrive again —” She looked up at the butler “ — we should be grateful towards Mr Crawley for his passion towards the estate.”

“I suppose you’re somewhat right.” Mr Carson muttered.

“You just wait and see, Mr Carson, one day the world will be so different that women can inherit, all women can vote and men like Mr Barrow will be free to be who they are.” 

Mr Carson stiffened up and he inhaled sharply through his nose. There Mrs Hughes went again, bringing up Barrow; Her loyalty was admirable, amongst other things, but he simply didn’t understand how she could be so loyal to Barrow of all people; how they had managed to grow so close. 

“You have not accepted his dismissal yet, Mrs Hughes?” 

“No — nor will I.” Mrs Hughes admitted “ — not when an innocent man is punished simply because of who he is; I know he’s never been the kindest, I know his ways are not accepted, but it’s simply not right.”

“Well — Mrs Hughes — my hands were tied.” 

“Would they have been for anyone else, Mr Carson?” Mrs Hughes asked and then sighed. “I know you did what you thought was best, but I’m just not sure it was for the best.” She said and patted Mr Carson’s arm.

“What do you mean, Mrs Hughes, what would have been for the best?” Mr Carson asked and glanced at her hand patting him while trying to stay composed at the light touch.

Mrs Hughes said nothing more on the matter. She hadn’t meant to sound so harsh to the butler, she didn’t mean to be harsh on anyone unless warranted; and Mr Carson didn’t know it was warranted — but he would soon and then there would be a justified dismissal of O’Brien finally. 

“Oh my!” She suddenly exclaimed; trying to sound as surprised as she possibly could. “ — I believe I left my gloves at the bakery; no wonder I felt a chill.” Mrs Hughes stopped in her steps.

“Do you need me to fetch them for you, Mrs Hughes?” Mr Carson asked.

She was quite touched by his offer but she, sadly, could not accept it. “No no, I shall be alright — there is plenty more daylight after all and there’s no use for both of us to be gone longer than needed.” 

Mr Carson opened his mouth to protest.

“ — and you have supper to prepare, I will be alright, Mr Carson.” She assured the butler and before he could try and object again she turned around and began walking back to the village. 

Mrs Hughes steps slowed down when she was far away enough and she looked over her shoulder here and there; she kept walking straight ahead until she could not see Mr Carson anymore and that’s when she turned her heel and walked across the field and towards Tom’s cottage instead. 

Tom’s Cottage,
October 1920

“So, it has been quite a productive day.” Matthew said as he took his coat off inside of Tom’s cottage and looked at Thomas, who stood by the staircase with Sybbie in his arms.

“I can see that — ” Thomas said with a smirk as he handed Sybbie over to Tom and looked down at Matthew's empty hand. “I am glad supper at Downton doesn’t depend on your impeccable hunting skills.”

Matthew snorted and leaned forward to kiss Thomas’ on the cheek. “And what has your day consisted of?”

“Oh, it was quite productive over here.” Thomas’ grinned “Sybbie just recited the entire Odyssey for me.” He said with a roll of his eyes.

“Did she really?” Tom asked excitedly and looked at Thomas’ with wide eyes.

“Tom…” Thomas said with a frown “ — that was the language of sarcasm, I shall ensure you’re fluent in it sooner rather than later.”

“Oh — “ Tom blushed “ — of course, I knew that.” He coughed and bounced Sybbie in his arms. 

“You’re too cruel, my darling, don’t toy with a father like that.” Matthew said but he smiled softly as they all walked to the kitchen to brew tea and take their seats.

“I am sorry, my sweetheart — I apologise Tom —” Thomas said but his face had lit up as soon as the men had entered the cottage. It got quite lonely and dull during the days, despite how much he adored Sybbie, so company was a welcomed change. He looked at them all; Sybbie sitting in Tom’s lap; Matthew in his chair; Harvey and John waving at the little girl and he wished that every single day could be this way. Thomas slid his hand into his pocket and pulled out his camera. With a click he took a photograph of this memory; a memory to keep if things turned sour. A happy moment to always remember. 

“Hey, we were not prepared!” John said in a tone of false offence while flatting his hair down. “Did you at least get my good side?”

Thomas chuckled and sat down next to Matthew “The film is almost empty.” He sighed and pocketed the camera again “now I simply need a way to develop the photographs.”

“If you wish, Thomas — “ John then said in a more sincere tone “ — I can take the camera and develop them in Manchester.”

“You could?”

“Of course, and when you visit next I’ll teach you how to do it.” John said with a smile.

Thomas was about to accept the offer when he saw the wide eyes of Matthew staring at him and then he suddenly remembered what kind of photographs he had taken back in August. “I — I don’t wish to be a bother.” He said as an excuse.

“Oh nonsense, it’s no bother at all!” John insisted. 

“I’m not certain — “

“It’s quite alright, Thomas, it would be my pleasure; unless there are some photographs you don’t wish — “ He had meant for it to be a joke but then trailed off as he saw the stern faces of Matthew and Thomas glaring at him. 

“Oh you sly perv—” John began saying with a smirk.

“John, please!” Tom gasped and covered Sybbie’s ears “Watch your language!”

John burst out laughing and looked at the oblivious girl resting against her father’s shoulder. “I apologise Tom, I apologise.” He gave Thomas a wink “Then how about I simply teach you next time you’re in Manchester?”  John shook his head with a smirk and looked at Matthew “Wouldn’t have minded though — OW!” He exclaimed, more in surprise than pain, and rubbed the back of his head. 

“Behave yourself!” Harvey muttered and rolled his eyes but there was a small smile upon his lips; as if he was thinking that he wouldn’t change this man he loved for anything in the world. 

Thomas let out a snort and then the door suddenly opened; Mrs Hughes entered the cottage and shuddered the harsh British autumn off. 

“I do love this country but the unpredictable weather is something I can do without!” She stated loudly and shut the door behind her “The rain came as I crossed the field.”

“Let me help you, Mrs Hughes.” Thomas rose to his feet and hastily hurried over to aid Mrs Hughes with her coat. That small act of courtesy rewarded him with a pat on the cheek and a warm smile from Mrs Hughes who mumbled ‘thank you dearie’ to Thomas. 

A blush spread across Thomas’ cheeks and it was so endearing that all of the love Matthew held for him crashed over him and caused his eyes to water slightly and his lips to form a grin. His hands trembled as he gazed at this unbelievably caring man. It was a tremendous feeling, it truly was, to know that Thomas was his — and only his. How lucky could a man be? Not more lucky than him, according to Matthew himself. 

Mrs Hughes sat down by the table and placed the box of baked goods upon it; Tom gave Sybbie to Thomas while he got up and brewed some tea for the gathering to keep the chill from their bones. 

“Have I missed anything?” Mrs Hughes asked and looked around the room.

Thomas shook his head, Matthew gave John a glare — as did Harvey while Tom just innocently looked out the window and whistled to himself.

Mrs Hughes raised her eyebrow “Perhaps it’s best if I don’t know what I’ve missed — “ She shook her head “ — young men, you better be behaving — “ She looked over at Matthew “ — you as well, Mr Crawley.” 

Thomas pursed his lips together to keep himself from laughing. The commanding voice of Mrs Hughes could even put an heir in his place; it had done so before. But perhaps it was more surprising how it affected John Churchill of all people. The man gave a nod and his expression turned slightly more serious. 

“So — “ Harvey said “ — soldiers — “ He looked around the table “ — what updates do you all have?”

“ — Well, I must say that James fellow is — thank you, Tom.” John took his cup of tea from the host “ — quite interesting, his face says more than his words.” He began to tell them word by word what transpired in his room before joining the small hunting party. 

Thomas was paying extra attention to his own cup of tea while John spoke of Jimmy. Some days it was easy to pretend none had transpired; that he simply lived in the cottage and his work was to take care of Sybbie while her father worked. But not today, not when the memories were brought back like bleeding wounds; as if it all happened yesterday. It hurt Thomas, especially the Jimmy part of it all. 

“Ah — “ Mrs Hughes said when John finished his report “ — that explains James' mannerism earlier today, I did have my suspicion that you were behind it, Mr Churchill.” and she began to explain how she had found him in the servants’ hall, what he had said; how absent-minded he had seemed. 

“I know we had not truly discussed speaking to James, or at least not me doing so — “ John explained “ — but it simply seems reasonable to make him think about the whole ordeal, since he has stated he does not remember what happened; to make him question why he would question Thomas’ honour.” He paused to sip from his tea and then smacked his lips “ — excellent brew, Tom — splendid — anyways —uncertainty is a powerful feeling, it was powerful enough for him to believe Mr Nugent, perhaps it will be powerful enough for him to rethink that.”

“Well, I must say you have made it easier for me to have an excuse to speak to James now, Mr Churchill” Mrs Hughes said with a smile and reached over to pat Thomas’ hand “ — and we shall put his mind right, poor lad — I do have a knack for listening to lost pups.” 

Thomas gave Mrs Hughes a small smile and then cleared his throat. “Even if his words were wounding, I feel for him” 

Matthew twitched in his seat. His feelings towards James had been quite contradicting from day to day since everything had happened. One moment he was incredibly angry, the next he pitied him; most had expressed that it was not James’ fault and of course, deep down Matthew knew so as well — but he was also incredibly protective of Thomas’ feelings. Especially when he had just shown kindness towards a friend, and the fact that his darling Thomas had made a friend only to lose him truly worried Matthew — would Thomas give up? Would he never try to make a friend within Downton Abbey again? 

“ — still, he accused you only because— “ Matthew spoke quietly.

“ — because I’m a bugger?” Thomas shook his head “ — He’s scared to be accused of being one too and with all the thoughts O’Brien put in his head.” He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “At least he was not the one who turned me in, that was all Alfred’s doing.”

“Speaking of Alfred — “ Tom said and looked at Matthew; and everyone’s eyes fell upon the heir as well.

“I don’t know if he was a part of it, or simply used by O’Brien as well; if he was involved in depth he is quite good at hiding it.” Matthew said.

“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” Thomas muttered with disgust.

“He is not as clever as his aunt — “ Matthew said and Thomas’ face lit up at those words. “ — nor do I think he could lie; in his eyes this is what he believed happened so to him it’s the truth.” 

“That’s true, he is quite an oaf.” Thomas commented.

“ —but — “ Matthew said firmly and glanced at Thomas “ — I managed to learn some information that someone neglected to relay.”

Thomas raised his eyebrow “Me? What did I neglect to tell you?”

Matthew nodded. “Yes, you, my darling.” His tone was quite serious but his gaze remained soft as he glanced upon his lover. “I never knew that Mr Bates got the money from Jimmy, meaning that he must have been one of the last ones to see Jimmy before he vanished.” 

Thomas opened his mouth but Matthew didn’t let him speak.

“NOR — “ He continued with a slight smirk “ — did you tell me that O’Brien never showed up to the pub at all.” 

Thomas, once again, opened his mouth but Matthew, once again, cut him off.

“Furthermore, I was not informed that Maud was with Alfred when he saw you aid Jimmy.”

“What?” Thomas’ eyebrows raised in surprise. “Maud was there?”

Matthew frowned and nodded “Though, that last piece of information I can understand why you didn’t tell me, since you did not know that Alfred was there as well.”

“I will take full responsibility for the first two, I suppose with everything I simply forgot — and the fact that I know O’Brien did this, I didn’t need proof myself.” Thomas sighed heavily and pressed the pads of his palm to his eyes. “ — It slipped my mind that such information is needed to prove my innocence.” He rubbed his eyes and inhaled deeply; letting the breath sit in his lungs for a moment before exhaling slowly. “So Maud saw everything as well?”

“Maud?” John asked “Who is this Maud?”

“We never told you about her?” Thomas removed his hands from his eyes and blinked up at John.

“If you have, dear chap, we have forgotten.” 

“Maud, during my and Matthew’s time apart, tried to get me sweet on her.” Thomas rolled his eyes. “She eventually stopped — it was quite mithering.” 

Matthew blinked rapidly and leaned back in his chair with his hand over his mouth. “Darling, do you remember?”

Thomas turned his head and looked at his lover “I remember quite a few things; care to be more specific?”

Matthew turned his head and he looked completely stunned. “Do you remember when you brought your letters to me? When you were convinced that O’Brien had been snooping around?”

“No, O’Brien didn’t — it must have been Alfred; I told you O’Brien kept me busy, speaking loudly.” 

Matthew waved his hand in the air “Details, details — but do you remember when that was?”

“Yes, darling — I quite do.”

“And when did Maud stop trying to get you sweet on her?” Matthew pointed out.

“Do you think it was Maud snooping around?” Thomas frowned. “No one actually read the letters —”

“ — yes, but what if O’Brien put her up to it?” Matthew said, frustrated that Thomas didn’t see the connection the way he did.

“Perhaps, but that does not change much; what would she have to do with anything? The main thing is O’Brien.” Thomas pointed out.

Mrs Hughes tapped her fingers against the table. “I do not know, Thomas — but that girl has been trouble since day one, I said it then and I say it again.”

Thomas regarded the thought for two ticks but then shook his head. “Even if she was involved, she is no threat on her own; the problem starts and ends with O’Brien — if she is gone, so is this unrest.” 

Matthew threw a glance over at Mrs Hughes, and she met his eyes as well. Neither of them thought Thomas took the Maud problem seriously enough. Maybe the thought of two people working against him was too much to bear; maybe he underestimated her — or perhaps he thought it mere coincidence that she went off him at the same time as someone searched his room. 

“Regardless — “ John broke the tense silence “ — it couldn’t hurt trying to find out if she was involved or not? If she was, she might want to save her neck before O’Brien’s.” 

Thomas was about to protest but instead he simply shrugged “And what is your plan for that?”

John simply smirked and nudged Harvey with his shoulder “Not to toot my own horn —”

Harvey coughed and Thomas could’ve sworn he said ‘ you do that a lot’ underneath it. 

“ — but I’d say I’m rather strapping; and to toot my partner’s horn, he is as well — “ John wiggled his eyebrows and smirked “ — between the two of us, I’m certain we can charm something out of her.”

Mrs Hughes eyes went wide “I don’t think —”

“ Mrs Hughes” John said, acting scandalous “ — we are still gentlemen, we would never; I simply meant speaking to her, perhaps offering her company as she walks up the village; tell her stories of the grand city of Manchester.”

Harvey nodded in agreement “It might be worth a shot; especially when word spread that Matthew has been inquiring about Thomas and that night.”

“That’s my hope; rattle things around.” 

“Be my guest — she is incredibly annoying; but I suppose if she was there with Alfred, she must have seen something.” Thomas agreed.

“Strange she hasn’t said something if that was the case.” Harvey pointed out. “Wouldn’t she wish to back up Alfred’s words, if they are now sweethearts?”

Mrs Hughes scoffed. “Sweethearts? She has shown very little interest in that lad, I’ll tell you that much, though Alfred seems smitten with her.” 

Matthew cocked his eyebrow again — yet another thing that seemed strange. She was there at night with Alfred? Went to the fairgrounds with him, but now shows no interest? He didn’t express these thoughts because it truly seemed as if Thomas’ was quite overwhelmed — and rightfully so. Anyone would be in a stressful situation like this, but that’s why they were all here. They were all there for him.   

“A lot has been set in motion now.” Matthew said with a nod; trying to conclude the talks of the ‘ Proving Thomas innocent’ subject. 

“And more to come; I shall see to speak with James soon; especially before O’Brien can.” Mrs Hughes said with a nod.

“I shall call for Mr Bates’ myself.” Matthew voiced. “To see if he can give me more intel of Jimmy’s mannerism when he collected the money.” His head turned to Harvey. “And after I do, perhaps the conversation will steer towards the subject naturally when he’s dressing you.”

“Copy that, Captain Crawley.” Harvey said with a salute and smile. 

“Tom — keep Mary at bay; we know she gets caught up in her thoughts and conspiracies.” Matthew addressed his friend.

“I mean, her suspicions aren’t conspiracies since they are true — “ Tom pointed out “ — but I will steer her clear of any questions about you and Thomas that might resurface once words spread that you remain loyal to him.”

“I suspect they will.” Matthew sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose “There might be more suspicions; but I will firmly stick with the fact that Thomas’ saved my life, that I owe him — for the rest of my life.”

From the corner of his eye, Matthew saw Thomas’ looking at his hands and rubbing his thumbs together. So he reached out and took Thomas’ hand in his own. “Though the truth is, regardless of him saving my life or not; my whole life and heart is his.” 

Thomas blushed at these words and glared at Matthew while Matthew simply laughed and kissed his darling on the cheek. 

“Matthew” Thomas hissed under his breath but the corner of his mouth twitched as he tried to deny himself a smile. His mood improved slightly and he reached out to pick up one of the baked goods from the box Mrs Hughes had brought. 

His eyes squinted; then they went wide and he slapped his hand over his mouth. “Darling — “ He addressed Matthew and presented the sweet treat to him “ — do you remember?” 

“Oh my goodness.” Matthew laughed and his whole face turned red as he hid it in his hands. “I had suppressed that memory completely!” 

“What memory?” John asked in confusion. 

Thomas and Matthew shared a glance before they burst out in roars of laughter; making the rest even more puzzled. 

“What?” Tom demanded.

Both Matthew and Thomas’ shook their heads while tears rolled down their cheeks as they tried to stifle their snickering. 

“What story could there possibly be about you two and a pastry?” Harvey asked.

That sent the two lover’s back into a fit of laughter. They laughed so hard as they recalled a memory from years ago that more tears began rolling down their cheeks and they were holding their stomachs, finding it rather difficult to breathe. Neither of them could stop for several minutes while the other’s simply looked at each other with concern. 

John slowly shook his head at the scene “I’m afraid they have gone completely bonkers.” 

“Do you think we have to call Doctor Clarkson?” Tom whispered with a slight furrow. 

But regardless of the confusion and the fact that neither Thomas or Matthew told the story of the sweet bun; no one could deny how freeing it seemed to be for the two forbidden lovers to be unhinged. In that moment they radiated nothing but joy as they were lost in a memory only they knew.

Chapter Text

I have been meaning to post this update for a very long time because I do feel like I owe everyone an explanation.

Did I lose interest in the story?

No, absolutely not. There are chapters written i have not finished editing yet, I did not lose interest.

Then why have I not updated?

at first it was honestly my mental health that took a big toll, then a lot of adhd struggles. I had to get some help before it got too bad and I had to put everything on pause.

But then something else kept me from continuing and that was the urge to write (ironic) but this idea had begun building in my head so guess what? I have started writing a book series and it’s very much inspired by this fanfiction i begun and love!

 What is it about?

i dont want to say too much but yes, it has pulled a lot of inspiration of Thomas and Matthew and how I have written their story here except it is a historical fiction fantasy novel. Nobility of UK? They are warlock hunters dating back to Edward the Martyr, and even if everyone thinks warlocks are nothing but fairytales these days, the martyrs know they are still out there - but they do not know a warlock comes in the disguise of a footman.

there is a lot more too it, and I have written two of the books already (started the first edit of them) and I am currently writing on the third as well.

i am very sorry this story so many of you have followed needed to take a step back, but I hope you all understand and I am very happy finding what I really want to do and excited about doing.

Will this fanfic ever be finished?

I do hope that one day their story will be completed, if not it will be completed in the story that these two characters inspired me to write!

thank you all for all of your support, kind words and engagement in my writings.

- RL