Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Catra is breathing softly and steadily, pretending she is still asleep. She opens one eye and smiles. In the gloom of the early morning, Adora is getting dressed beside the bunk. Catra can see her back muscles as she bends to pull up her leggings. She turns and Catra quickly closes her eyes again.

Adora tiptoes away. Catra looks at the clock. It's 5.30am. God, their training doesn't even start until 9am. She must be heading to the gym early. Catra waits until her footsteps have faded away, then swings herself down from the bunk and follows her.

This is the best time in the Horde. There's barely any noise except for the faint mechanical clanking and hissing of the pipes. Nearly everyone is still sleeping. It's just her and Adora, alone, with space to breathe.

She creeps behind Adora as quietly as she can, pausing to let Adora stay ahead of her, watching as she slips into gym 4 - not the biggest or nearest gym but the smallest, cosiest, most private one. Catra grins.

She waits until Adora's back is turned, working at one of the weight machines, then silently pulls the door open and sneaks inside.

"Hey lover," says Adora immediately.

Catra splutters, "how did you know?"

Adora laughs loudly.

Catra tuts. "Maybe I'll leave you alone then," she says haughtily. "If you're going to laugh."

"No, Catra! Please stay," Adora begs. "I didn't get up at 5.30am just for weightlifting!"

Catra smiles, checks the corridor one last time, then locks the door behind her.

"You didn't? What were you hoping to find in here?" Catra asks.

"I was hoping to work up a sweat," says Adora casually. She smiles at Catra over her shoulder, then turns back to work the machine.

Catra, looks at her feet briefly, feeling the blush rise in her face. How does Adora do this? She feels hot all over. She steadies her breath and looks up, letting her eyes linger over Adora's body as she stalks around in front of her. She pauses just out of reach, then slowly stretches, closing her eyes and yawning. "It's early," she groans.

She opens her one eye and sees Adora is staring at her, her mouth open just a little. Catra stretches again, then leans forward. Adora lets go of the machine, she reaches for her and Catra jumps back, smirking, just beyond Adora's fingertips. "You haven't finished your weights yet," she teases. "You're barely sweating."

Adora scowls and puts her hands back on the machine. She pulls the weights down once, twice... and then Catra slides forward and sits on her lap. Adora gasps, a quiet, little shuddering gasp and releases the weights.

"Keep going," says Catra.

"Catra," Adora murmurs.

"Don't let me distract you," Catra scolds, leaning forward and kissing Adora's neck. Adora shivers. She pulls the weights slowly and carefully as Catra rocks gently against her, licking and kissing Adora's neck. She plays her tongue all the way up to Adora's ear and then bites it softly.

Adora squirms beneath her.

"Catra," she says again.

"You're blushing, cadet," Catra laughs at her.

"Don't stop, please." Adora's eyes are wide. She nuzzles her face into Catra's shoulder and kisses her. The weights clang softly, up and down, up and down.

Catra runs her hands around Adora, up her back, she runs her fingers along Adora's muscles. She gently pulls out her ponytail so her hair falls down, then runs her hand through it, caressing her. She kisses her deeply, letting her tongue slip into her mouth. Adora kisses back hard, biting her lip a little.

Suddenly Adora drops the weights and stands up, grabbing Catra and pulling her tight against her.

Catra squeals as Adora carries her across the gym. She gasps as she is pressed down onto a mat on the floor.

"Is this OK?" asks Adora.

Catra stares at her and blinks slowly. Adora grins, then desperately pulls at Catra's top, so hard Catra is afraid she might rip it.

"Hey," says Catra, jumping back.

Adora looks up at her, adorably sheepish.

"Lie down," Catra instructs.

Adora complies. Then, slowly, Catra stands up and stretches again. She reaches to her top and begins to slowly pull it over her head.

"Close your eyes," she says to Adora.

"And miss this?" Adora scoffs. "I don't think so."

Catra smirks and pulls her top all the way off. She runs her hand down her own chest, gently circles a nipple with her finger and then grabs her own breast.

Adora moans and shuffles forwards on her knees. "Let me help you!"

"No touching," Catra swats her hand away.

"Catra, please - "

"Lie down, Adora,"

Adora does but then immediately sits back up, "please, Catra -"

"So impatient," Catra tuts, pushing her back down with her foot. "I'm not done yet." She massages her own chest, watching out of the side of her eye as Adora wriggles and slides her hands inside her leggings.

"Here, let me help you," Catra smirks. She pulls Adora's leggings off and sits on her thighs. She pulls Adora's top off. She kisses Adora's neck again, she is wrapped around her, their skin feels so good together. She pushes her leg between Adora's and slowly grinds. They are tangled together, Adora's thigh beneath her, Catra is pushing, rubbing, she presses her chest against Adora's. But they haven't even finished undressing. She pulls away and steps out of her leggings with ease.

Adora is undoing her bra. Catra is about to pounce on her when she pauses and laughs. Adora is still struggling with the bra. She has managed to get herself caught in it somehow. Catra giggles.

"Don't laugh," says Adora. "I'm stuck."

Catra laughs harder. "You're such an idiot," she breathes.

"Ow. Ow. Ow." Adora twists but she can't get her head out.

Catra watches her fondly as Adora is caught between struggling and laughing at her own stupidity.

"Help," begs Adora, between giggles. "Please, help me Catra!"

"You are my favourite," says Catra, gently untangling her. "My absolute favourite dumbass."

"I'm everybody's favourite," smirks Adora.

Catra gives her a shove. "Alright, cocky."

"You love me,'' teases Adora.

"I do not."

Adora stretches out luxuriously on the mat, sweaty and beautiful, her hair already tangled. "I love you,'' she says seriously. "I love you so much, Catra." She sits up. "Thank you for rescuing me."

"From your bra?" Catra snorts, pushing her back down onto the mat.

"From everything," Adora says. "Everything is just so much better with you."

"Shut up, idiot," says Catra gently, kissing her on the forehead. "Where were we?"

She slowly lies down on top of Adora. She twines her fingers around Adora's with one hand and with the other, she holds Adora's face very gently. She kisses Adora on the lips, slowly at first but then hungrily, as though she has never kissed her before, as though this is their very first time.

…

Some time later, there is loud banging at the door.

"Oh shit!" Adora sits up, startled back out of her nap, pulling away from Catra. "What time is it? Did we miss training?"

"Relax, idiot," yawns Catra. "It's still only 7.30am."

Adora is flustered, she grabs for her leggings. "I need to shower," she murmurs. "We should get to breakfast."

The knocking at the door continues. Someone really wants to get in. It's aggressively loud. Catra rolls her eyes and struggles back into her clothes.

Knock! Knock! Knock knock knock knock!

"Alright, alright," yells Catra. "Give us a minute. God, can't you use one of the other gyms?"

"They're full, let us in!" Shouts someone on the other side.

"Can I let them in?" Adora is agitated, hopping from foot to foot.

"Give me a second," Catra scowls, tying her top up. "There, you're good, now you can open it."

The door swings open. Lonnie is there, waiting.

"Oh," she says with a laugh. "You two. I should have known. Hogging the gym for hours."

Catra smirks. "Enjoy your solo session,'' she says, stalking past.

"Oh, it's not solo," Lonnie grins. She nods her head down the corridor. Rogelio is there. Kyle gives a little, awkward wave.

"Oh, hi guys!" Adora says brightly, with a forced cheeriness. "Everyone's training extra today, huh? Enjoy the weights. See you later!" She flounces away.

Lonnie and Catra share an amused glance. God, Adora is oblivious sometimes.

"See you later," Catra smirks and follows her.

"I hope you at least wiped down whichever bench you used! Disgusting!" Lonnie calls after her.

"Oh we used… everything." Catra turns back and winks. Lonnie puts her finger up at her.

Adora is practically running down the corridor.

"Slow down, doofus," Catra calls.

Adora pauses. "Do you think they knew?" She asks anxiously.

"Yes," Catra laughs. "They knew. Who cares?"

Adora is biting her nail, pulling at some loose skin there. Catra gently pulls her hand down and holds it. Her hand is so soft. It's trembling.

"Look at me," Catra insists. "Who cares? Nobody gives a shit, Adora, don't worry. No-one except Shadow Weaver and she is just creepily possessive of you. It's OK, honestly. No-one cares."

"Are you sure?" says Adora. "What if they tell -"

Catra scoffs. "They're not going to tell anyone. Lonnie was about to do the same thing in there."

"Huh?" says Adora. "With whom?"

Catra laughs. "Honestly? You're such an idiot."

"Yeah," says Adora uncertainly. "Yeah. You ready for breakfast? We should eat, then shower, then get to training early. It's the final one, the whispering woods setup, it's supposed to be extra difficult…"

"Yeah, yeah," Catra yawns. "I'll be there. I'm going to have a nap."

"Catra, I'm not sure you have time, this is important!"

"It's OK, chill out," says Catra. "I'll be there." She kisses Adora's hand.

Adora gasps and looks around nervously.

Catra stands on tiptoe. "I love you, Adora," she whispers in her ear. "I'll see you later."

Adora smiles finally. "I love you too," she whispers. "Enjoy your nap."

Chapter Text

"Adora! Adora!"

What happened? How the fuck did she fall out? She's such an idiot, Catra panics, jerking the skiff around.

Shit! Shit! Shit! Where is she?

She lands the skiff clumsily, crushing several small trees. She hops out and doesn't know which way to go, she's shaky, she'll have to go back, but what if Adora's hurt? What if she's dead?

Catra moves quickly, she runs... Was it this way? What if she gets lost and Adora is bleeding out somewhere?

Catra forces herself to slow down. Breathe. Focus. Problem solve. This is going to be OK. She'll find her. She can't be far. It's going to be OK.

They were heading west, then she turned the skiff around so she must have fallen out this way... Catra struggles through the bushes, pushing away the branches that scratch at her. This horrible forest, this is dangerous, she wasn't thinking, they never should have -

She gasps as she spots her.

"Hey Adora! Adora!" Catra grabs her hands.

"Huh? What happened?" Adora looks even more confused than usual.

"You fell out of the skiff after you drove it into a tree," Catra explains.

"No, you drove it!" Adora shoves her.

"Up for debate," says Catra. "Come on, let's go!"

"Wait!" says Adora. She's babbling, something about a sword. Shit.

"Are you brain damaged?" asks Catra. "Please don't be brain damaged. Shadow Weaver's going to kill me."

"No! I'm not! It was here."

"Well, it's not here now," says Catra moodily. This was just supposed to be fun, why did she have to drive so fast? How could she have let Adora fall? She looks at Adora carefully. She's jumpy, jittery, still straining as though trying to spot something through the trees.

"Maybe, we should just take a minute, OK?" Catra says. "Then we'll head back. The skiff's not far."

Adora nods and then groans and lies back down. Catra sits next to her.

The forest branches twinkle over their heads. The grass is soft beneath them. Softer than Catra realised tiny ground plants would be.

"This place is weird," says Catra. "Eerie."

"Hmm," says Adora thoughtfully. "I kind of like it. It's so quiet. There's nobody but us. Not even the machines humming."

"Hmm," echoes Catra. "That's true. That's nice." Her heart is finally slowing down. She lies down next to Adora and puts her hand out. Adora squeezes it.

The breeze is gently ruffling the leaves and branches. There's very little other noise.

"Do you think the forest is enchanted and we're going to end up asleep for a hundred years?" asks Adora.

"I wouldn't mind," says Catra. "Not if I'm sleeping with you."

"Oh yeah?" Adora waggles her eyebrows. "You want to do that with me for a hundred years?"

Catra laughs. "That's not what I meant. But yeah," she waggles back. "I wouldn't mind."

Before she has time to react, Adora has gotten up and sat on top of her, pinning her.

Catra stares up at her and feels herself purring as Adora gently rocks forwards and back. She is relaxing, she feels good but -

"Wait!" she says and Adora stops. "This isn't smart, it's dangerous here. Shouldn't we be getting back?"

Adora smiles gently. "If you want. But I like it here. Just the two of us. I think it's just... lovely. I think I'll remember this for a long time."

Catra melts. Adora just looks so peaceful, for a change.

"Nevermind," she purrs. "Stay. I like it too."

Adora leans down and kisses her very softly, very tenderly. Very differently to this morning. Catra feels herself relaxing under her. She arches her back slightly so more of them is connected.

Adora is stroking her hair. She adjusts so that she is holding her head up a little off the ground.

"Comfy?" Adora asks.

"Very," says Catra.

Adora keeps stroking, softly gently, all the way up and down her stomach. She sits back and starts to take off her jacket and her boots.

"Adora!" says Catra. "What's gotten into you?" She looks around. Nervously.

"Nothing," Adora smirks, pulling off her top.

"Couldn't get enough this morning?" Catra asks.

"I'll never have enough. This is my favourite thing in the whole world."

Catra smiles. This is... unexpected. She is used to soothing a nervous Adora, not the other way round. She likes it. She rolls down her leggings.

Adora gently turns her over so she's lying stomach down on the grass.

"Relax," says Adora. "Close your eyes."

And she does. Adora is good with her hands. She massages Catra's back with skill, firmly enough to tease out the tension. They've been muscle release partners during training for a long time. But this feels... very different.

Catra is lost in the sensation, lost in her purring. Adora's soft, cool hands are everything. She is sitting on Catra's legs and rocking gently as she works her hands up and down. She sometimes squeezes with her thighs a little harder as she reaches all the way up to Catra's shoulders.

Adora kisses Catra's neck and then slowly works kiss by kiss back down her spine. Catra is feeling the good kind of warm and hot and ready all over, her skin is practically tingling.

Adora slowly turns her over and kisses her on the lips gently, then the neck and then the chest. Catra gasps as she feels Adora's mouth, the warmness, the wetness, over one of her nipples, her tongue playing so lightly just where she is sensitive. She is so full of longing... she wants Adora inside her, she needs her, now...

"Adora," she groans, "Adora..."

Adora bites her nipple very gently. Catra can't take much more of this teasing. And then, Adora is moving down. She is kissing her stomach, nibbling her thigh, licking between her legs.

Catra groans and arches her back. She grabs the ground beneath her and is momentarily surprised when she pulls up a handful of grass.

Adora pauses and smiles at her. "How are you doing?" she asks.

"Don't stop," says Catra. "This is amazing. Don't stop."

Adora grins and then slowly - too slowly - licks her lips.

"Adora," Catra moans urgently.

Adora chuckles.

"Adora, please..."

Adora is licking her fingers. Catra arches under her, wrapping her legs around her.

"Adora!" she begs.

And then... Finally... Catra sighs as she feels Adora's tongue inside her... Catra is so wet and Adora is so, so good at this... and then, Adora's finger too...

Catra feels almost dizzy, her whole body is rocking, everything feels soft and good and she lets the sensations pull through her, she's literally quivering.

"Adora," she gasps, "Adora, don't stop."

And Adora doesn't stop, Adora pushes her right to the edge until she's gasping, moaning... almost whimpering. Catra finally grabs Adora's hair and pulls gently to stop her and Adora grins at her while she catches her breath.

Catra curls up, pulling Adora up to cuddle her, holds her tightly.
"That was good," Catra whispers. "That was so good. Thank you."

"Any time," Adora grins, kissing her on the forehead. "I love you."

Catra giggles. She could fall asleep in Adora's arms right now.

"We should be getting back," Adora sighs.

"But I didn't do anything for you?" says Catra sleepily.

Adora smiles. "I had a great time. Don't worry. We've got all the time in the world, now I'm Force Captain. We should come back here."

Catra smiles hazily. "I'd like that. I'd like that a lot."

Chapter Text

Adora feels sick. Dizzyingly nauseous. She's alone. She's never slept alone before. All she can hear is her breathing and the horrible waterfall which makes her want to pee every 5 minutes.

She feels so unsteady on her mountain of cushions. Why does Bright Moon have so much extra fabric to waste on this? Shouldn't this be used for uniforms or something? She can't get comfy. Every time she moves the whole thing wobbles beneath her.

What has she done? This was a terrible mistake. "Catra," she whispers to the darkness. "I'm sorry."

She can't cry, she's not a baby. She can fix this. If the cushions would just lie flat. She lashes out at one, punching it down. It springs back. They're all made of weird material, all overwhelmingly different, some smooth, some a little... She doesn't have the words to describe it... Roughly smooth? It changes depending on which way she strokes it, but either way... it's horrible. She shivers. It's all so soft.

She misses her firm, regular, normal pillow and her scratchy blanket. Her small, enclosed, private little bunk. Here, she's in the middle of a vast hall, practically on show... This is too much. How can she sleep here? Nothing is right. She doesn't belong here. She'll never relax. She'll never sleep.

She punches the pillows - lie flat! Lie flat! She throws one across the floor and it makes a sad little pouff sound as it slides into the wall.

The waterfall is still running, trickling, splashing. Is there a way to turn it off? She puts her hands over her ears, stuffing her fingers in hard to block out the relentless noise. She'll have to ask Glimmer tomorrow.

Why haven't they put her in anyone else's room? They must not trust her enough yet. For all they know she'll murder someone in their sleep. She's crying again.

No matter how quietly she tried to cry in the Horde, Catra always heard. She always clambered down silently and slipped in beside her, holding her until she was done. Sometimes she stroked her hair gently or... more recently, kissed her very softly on the neck.

No one's listening here. Adora cries a little louder and then stuffs her hand in her mouth, willing herself to shut up. What if they're monitoring her first night? She shouldn't show such weakness, just in case. She can't go back to the Horde now. If they throw her out here... She's got nowhere to go.

Think of Catra, she thinks to herself. She lets her hands slide over her body. Think of Catra. It's OK. It's OK.

But she can't, she can't calm herself down. She can't think of Catra like that now, she doesn't have the right. And anyway, all she sees is Catra's face through the smoke, her disgust, her shock at Adora's irrevocable betrayal.

She can't go back. She's never going back. She's ruined everything and for what? This cold, empty palace? She doesn't want this. What a terrible, stupid mistake.

Lie flat, goddamn it! Adora swears and punches the pillows until they burst.

...

And now she's made a fool of herself in front of the Queen. Could this night get any worse?

Adora hops from foot to foot. She doesn't want to go back to her room. She's been locked in solitary before and she's always survived, even when it was days and days alone, nothing but her and the shadows... But it's not fair, she didn't even do anything wrong this time. Did she? Did she mess something up without realising? They could have at least told her, she thinks angrily.

She makes a decision and rebelliously slips into Glimmer's room. They'll let her off this once, right?

To Adora's surprise, Glimmer is also sleeping alone. She did not expect that. Is she being punished too? For finding Adora and not telling the Queen straight away, maybe?

Glimmer is snoring so loudly. She sounds like Rogelio. Adora smiles. She feels a little better as she tiptoes up the stairs and curls herself into a corner at the edge of Glimmer's bed.

....

They've been invited to stay a few more days in Plumeria, after the victory against the Horde and the renewal of the Heart Blossom.

Queen Angella has signed off their leave as a reward for a successful first mission. When she announces this to them on the tech pad, Bow and Glimmer cheer. They seem giddy with pride.

Adora is satisfied with their success, although a little confused. Isn't the Horde advancing elsewhere? Do they have time for r & r right now? She supposes the Queen is just being cautious, leaving them here to make absolutely sure the Horde isn't going to double down again and immediately take back the tree... but four whole days here is surely overkill.

But, as the hours slip by, Glimmer and Bow are obviously enjoying themselves and Adora supposes a little time can't hurt to brush up on her training exercises. She has all the Horde routines memorised, obviously, but it does make a nice change to do them in the open air, surrounded by wildflowers.

She is still struggling at mealtimes - why is it different every single time? Couldn't they have just picked one meal and stuck to that? What is wrong with the nutritional density of a convenient rations bar? If she had known she was never going back she would have taken a few boxes with her. The grey kind, obviously. She misses the grey kind.

And bedtimes are still hard. It's a little better camping out with Bow and Glimmer under the stars. But they go to bed so early. They're getting like 8 hours of sleep every single night! She has to lie there with her thoughts long after the others are snoring.

But, on the bright side, the people of Plumeria have been very kind to her. At first they kept asking her all sorts of weird questions that she had no idea how to answer like "how is your day going?" and "what would you like to do next?" But they've generally let her be when she tells them that she's going to stick to her training routines, even though she's far from home.

They've at least stopped treating her as a mythical hero. She's had some good talks with Perfuma discussing Horde strategies and tactics and how she might best continue to defend her land.

But she's itching to move on. She's restless. Bored. She needs a distraction. Most of all, if she's honest with herself, she's just sad. She knows the Horde is evil, now. So why does she miss it so much? The hiss of the pipes. Her favourite gym. Kyle being a dumbass. The climb up to the water tower. The security she felt having her life mapped out in front of her. Lonnie being snarky with Catra.

Catra. She can't think about Catra. Every time she does, she feels heavy. Everything is ten times harder, whether that's just getting up to refill her water bottle or putting her boots on or following Bow and Glimmer's chatter. If she thinks of Catra, she puts her sword down absentmindedly and it becomes just a little harder to pick it back up.

By the third day, she is feeling so low, it's becoming hard to hide it from the others. She is zoning out during conversations. She lies on her camp bed, just remembering, long enough to miss breakfast.

She wants to go home. To tell Catra she's sorry. To tell her she made a mistake, or she was just joking, she's coming back, obviously. But of course, she doesn't. She pushes through the Horde exercises. Over and over again until they hurt.

That evening, she toys with her food but can't manage to actually eat any of it. She pushes the hot yellow and red sticky blobs round and round her plate and wonders what Catra would have made of it. She can picture her so vividly raising an eyebrow and then pushing it away in disgust. Or maybe she would have scoffed it down hungrily, eyes wide with surprised delight. She'll never know.

And all of a sudden, Adora realises she's crying - there are literally tears running down her face. What the fuck has gotten into her? She wipes her eyes hastily and thankfully, no-one seems to have noticed. Bow is telling some funny story about getting lost one time and everyone is enraptured, laughing.

She excuses herself, claims to want to do one last boundary check and leaves the table. She does a brief jog around the perimeter, mainly for show, then goes to bed. She can still hear the laughter and music coming from the dining tent. She misses the mess hall.

"Adora?" someone calls her. And she sits straight back up.

"Hi! How are you? Who is it?" she garbles, groaning inwardly at the disturbance. Can't they leave her alone? She's off duty.

Soft footsteps approach along the path and then Perfuma appears, holding a lantern, her face glowing out of the gloom. Little bugs are flying around the light.

"I wondered if you wanted to have a cup of tea with me?"

Adora hesitates. Is this obligatory? Perfuma is the leader of this Kingdom and surely it would be a diplomatic incident to refuse. Can she claim a headache? Or would that make Bright Moon seem weak to an important ally?

"You absolutely don't have to," Perfuma adds. "I just have some recently harvested rose tea I've been dying to try and it would be nice to chat a little more."

Although every inch of Adora is screaming no, no, she just wants to lie down and do nothing, do nothing ever again, she finds herself saying "that would be lovely, thanks Perfuma!" and following her back down the soft wood chipped path.

Why am I like this, she wonders. Why can't she say no to anyone? Except Catra, apparently. She scuffs her boots, kicking up the wood chips a little.

They've reached a tent, one Adora hasn't seen before. It's set a way away from all the other structures. Perfuma slips out of her sandals and Adora copies her, wobbling a little as she pulls off her boots.

Perfuma ducks into the tent opening and as Adora follows, all of the chirping, buzzing night noises are muffled out. They're in a large, round room full of hanging ivy and woven tapestries depicting various trees.

The lights are dim and flickering. There is a faint scent of... something.

"It smells nice in here," says Adora.

Perfuma beams. "That's jasmine," she says, and leads Adora to a gap in the tent fabric, a window of sorts. She points and Adora leans out to see a tangle of bushes covered in little white flowers shaped like stars.

"I like it," says Adora.

Perfuma smiles at her. "Take a seat, Adora."

Adora nods and turns but she can't see any chairs. She freezes. Oh god, it's another pile of fucking cushions. She can't be rude.

"Can I help with the tea?" she asks.

"No, no, you're good, thank you," Perfuma mutters, fiddling with a little stove.

Adora sits down warily and waits patiently as Perfuma brews the tea.

She's so tired. The sun has barely set but it could be hours past midnight. She is aching all over. They've got one more day to get through and then the trek back to Bright Moon.

"How are you doing, Adora?" Perfuma asks.

"Oh, I'm fine, thank you. How are you?"

"I'm good, good." Perfuma is placing mugs and spoons on a tray. "I'm relieved that we found the way to repel the invaders,” she continues thoughtfully. “I'm thankful for the land we're protecting and this tea I'm brewing. I'm sad that it took this long for me to realise that I had the power to help all along and I talked myself out of using it. That makes me feel a little embarrassed and ashamed. But overall I'm very happy. I'm so pleased you're here."

Adora stares at her. That's a lot of information. Is she expecting an answer?

Perfuma walks over with the tray. The mugs are deep blue with little white stars, just like the jasmine. Adora stares at them. They're so beautiful... Perfuma uses these just for tea? She watches as Perfuma carefully pours from her little kettle.

"Honey?" asks Perfuma.

"Huh?" says Adora.

"Would you like honey?" Perfuma clarifies.

"I don't know what that is," confesses Adora.

Perfuma looks shocked for just a second and then laughs, "how exciting... to discover honey! Here -" she hands Adora a tiny silver spoon with a bee shape on the end. The spoon is covered in something sticky.

"We use honey to sweeten things," Perfuma explains. "Some people like their tea very sweet, like a dessert. I prefer a little bitter if I need to think. Sweet if I need a hit of energy."

Adora is still holding the spoon at arm's length.

Perfuma scoops some more honey from the little pot with another spoon then puts it straight into her mouth. Adora pauses, then copies her.

It's... a strong flavour. She recognises it! “I've had this at Thaymor!” she says. “There were little cakes covered in it!”

Perfuma laughs. “That sounds delicious.”

“It was really good,” Adora agrees.

“Shall I put some in your tea?”

“Sure,” Adora shrugs.

Perfuma stirs a little honey into each mug slowly clinking the spoon around and around. It's very quiet here otherwise. Adora can hear the branches outside rustling. Some kind of animal is hooting faintly in the distance.

“You must be missing home,” says Perfuma.

Adora tenses. Does she think she's going to betray the rebellion?

“It's fine,” she says. “I made my choice.”

Perfuma hands her a mug. “Careful,” she says. “It's hot.”

There's another little silence. The tea is steaming. And then Perfuma says, "I think it was a good choice. But that doesn't mean that it won't hurt. You've made a huge change. Even good changes like that can leave you disorientated. Depressed even."

“I'm not depressed,” says Adora, instinctively.

Perfuma brings her mug to her face and breathes it in. Adora copies her. It smells very sweet and somehow a little earthy. The mug is very warm on her fingers. It's a little too hot to hold. She puts it back down.

“How are you feeling?” Perfuma asks.

"I'm just... I don't know,” Adora shrugs. “Tired. Really tired. Everything's just..." She shrugs again. Oh god she thinks, I hope I don't cry. She smiles widely. "This tea smells delicious," she declares.

Perfuma smiles. "It's one of my favourites."

Adora needs something to do. She takes a sip and lets it scald her tongue a little. The flavour is fainter than the smell, she is surprised to find. But it's sweet and - hard to describe.

"Are you feeling lonely, Adora? You seem sad."

The mug is burning Adora's hands. She puts it down and stares at it on the table. She doesn't remember ever being asked that before. It hurts. It hurts more than she ever realised a simple question could hurt, as though Perfuma has stabbed right into her.

"Bow and Glimmer have been very kind to me," she says. "Everyone has."

"That's good," says Perfuma. "But even so, it's OK to be sad, to miss your old friends."

Adora can't bring herself to meet her eyes. The tea is swirling in the mug.

"I... Yes. I do. I miss them."

I miss her. So much.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

Adora laughs. "No, no." Her voice wobbles a little, embarrassingly. She struggles to control it.

"Would you like a hug?" asks Perfuma.

Adora freezes and then... why not? She nods.

Perfuma moves around the table and hugs her tight. Her dress is made of some light, crinkly material. She smells like the honey. Adora accepts the hug stiffly but Perfuma isn't letting go.

"I think you've been very brave," she says. "But you don't have to be brave on your own. You don’t have to carry it all alone."

There, that's done it, thinks Adora as she feels the waterworks restarting. Now she's basically weeping. She lays her head on Perfuma's shoulder and cries her heart out, her tears dripping down her nose.

"I'm sorry," she says. "I don't mean to get upset. I'm getting tears on your dress."

"That's OK," says Perfuma. "It's good to let it all out."

They hug for a mortifyingly long time. Just when she thinks she's done, Adora thinks of Catra and wonders if she feels anything like this. Then she remembers that Catra has no-one, no-one who would let her cry like this on their shoulder. And there it is - she's bawling all over again.

"This is so silly," she sobs.

"Not at all," says Perfuma. "Not at all."

But Adora knows she sounds ridiculous. She's practically whimpering.

"You cry very quietly," says Perfuma sadly. "Like you've learned that no one is going to come and comfort you. But when you feel sad like this, there are so many people who would want to know, who would want to help you feel better or just be sad with you, so you're not alone. Do you know that, Adora? That you're not alone?"

Adora shrugs. She's never felt more alone in her life. She pulls away from Perfuma and finishes her tea. "Thanks," she mumbles.

"You're welcome," says Perfuma. "Can I ask another question?"

Adora nods.

"What did you do to relax in the Horde? What did you do to cheer yourself up when you felt sad?"

Catra, Adora thinks to herself. I did Catra. Oh god, how she misses teasing her.

"I don't know," she says. "We didn't have much free time. Sometimes I went to the gym."

She thinks of Catra stretching, her beautiful body, the mischievous looks she would throw at her. She thinks of Catra surprising her with a kiss, Catra's arms around her. She thinks of grabbing Catra and pulling her close, without a thought. Of standing next to her in line. Of smelling her newly washed hair, the plain, clean smell of the soap. She feels Catra's tail flicking at her wrist, a gentle, insistent reminder of her presence.

She thinks of them lying side by side in the whispering woods. Of them tangled up together in her bunk. She can hear Catra laughing at her. Hey Adora, how's it hanging? She can taste the way she tasted that night beneath the trees, that warmth, that softness under her tongue. Catra moaning, grabbing that handful of grass, the way her eyes were shining...

She gasps a little and she's back at the table, the tea swirling. The scent of jasmine. "I'm sorry," she apologises, though she's not sure why. She picks up the tea again. She drinks it, although it's still a little too hot and scalds the soft roof of her mouth.

"It's OK," says Perfuma. "You seemed very far away just now." Adora shrugs.

"Well, I'm here any time if you want to talk about your old home. Your old friends. It's OK to feel sad about missing them, Adora, it really is."

Adora nods. "Thanks for the tea, Perfuma," she says. She has finished it already. It feels very hot in her stomach. Her throat feels tender, the roof of her mouth blistering. "And everything. Thanks for everything."

"Anytime," Perfuma smiles.

Adora trudges back to her sleeping bag. She is exhausted. She kicks off her boots and crawls under the cover without bothering to undress or even do her teeth. She's just so tired. So, so tired.

She lets herself imagine Catra, curled around her. Her weight, her warmth, her soft breathing.

And for once she falls asleep even before Bow and Glimmer make it back.

Chapter Text

They're staying the night in a small Seaworthy inn before setting sail with Sea Hawk first thing in the morning. Bow and Glimmer hug Adora goodnight and head to their respective rooms.

Adora can't take it. It's only 9.30pm. Sure, like Glimmer said, it's a big day tomorrow but if Adora doesn't get out of here, she doesn't know what she'll do. She has to stop thinking about Catra, but she has no idea how to shut it off. She paces across her stuffy, little box of a room, the wooden floorboards creaking.

Catra doesn't want her. She chose to return to the Horde. Adora sees her face through the smoke as she turns away. She feels Catra dropping her hand over and over.

If Adora doesn't find a distraction then she is going to hike all the way back to the Fright Zone and declare her undying love for Catra. Then, either she will be shot as a traiter, or worse, Catra will look at her with that look again. That anger, that hatred, that scorn. She will laugh at Adora and Adora will keel over and die on the spot.

Catra... She can't have cared for Adora. Not like Adora cared for her. Maybe, Catra was just more ambitious than Adora realised. Maybe she was only sleeping with her to get closer to Shadow Weaver. So she too would get the extra help, the Force Captain's badge.

That doesn't make any sense, Adora tells herself for the hundredth time. Catra hates Shadow Weaver. Stop thinking these stupid thoughts. Catra just wasn't interested in the end. You went your separate ways, it happens. She chose the Horde.

She has to get out of here. She pauses in front of her mirror. She wants to be different. Anyone else... just for one night. She takes off her jacket and throws it aside. She pauses and then removes her shirt. She is wearing her usual crop top underneath. It actually doesn't look too bad. It's a hot summer's night... why not go out in this?

She has so many scars, though. She hates having them on show. Every morning, she pulls down her sleeves as fast as she can. Each one is an ugly reminder of her failures, a story of a time when she was too vulnerable or hadn't trained enough to protect herself adequately. The longest one stretches all the way down from her shoulder to her hip. But the white lines and scratches and bumps are everywhere.

But here... no-one knows those stories. She could be anyone in Seaworthy. Maybe she got them in battle... valiantly fighting ten against one. Or her family was attacked by something monstrous but she protected them with her body and they all escaped.

She grins and shakes her hair down. She looks different. Older. She barely recognises herself these days. She's gotten a little fatter in some places and elsewhere her muscles are looking great. She likes it. She considers ripping her leggings. She imagines Catra snorting. Forget the leggings. She looks good. She pockets her wallet and key, then slips out.

She's not going to the same bar as earlier: she does not want to run into Sea Hawk. Seaworthy isn't huge but there are plenty of drinking spots. The streets are cute, all pebbled roads and sea views. The night air is breezy, which makes it a little colder than she thought it would be, but it feels good to be outside. It smells different from anywhere she has ever been before.

She hears music and follows the sound until she reaches a building with warm orange brickwork and a number of outdoor benches. It is packed with customers, drinking and chatting. There are little lanterns hanging along the walls. It's gorgeous.

The swinging sign says The Siren's Song and on the door is a scrawled piece of paper that says “Open Mic Night.” Adora rolls her eyes and laughs to herself. She likes it. Someone is singing a shanty. She peeps around the corner to make sure it isn't Sea Hawk but he's nowhere in sight. She heads to the bar and jumps up onto one of the empty stools.

She’s next in the queue; the server nods at her. Fuck knows what she wants to drink. She points to a tap at random and pays for a golden liquid in a tall glass. It's refreshing. The taste is... kind of bitter? It's a bit like the stuff they were given to drink on victory nights. She probably shouldn't think this now, but she loved those nights. She remembers fondly how they were encouraged to march, then dance, to drink freely and compete in games, to pledge their undying allegiance to the Horde. But it was all part of the manipulation, she thinks sadly.

She's feeling low again. She stares at the stage. The woman who is performing now is letting her anger out in some kind of noisy number that involves a lot of scratchy guitar and nonstop drumming. Adora stares. She's very pretty and she's killing the song.

Adora sips her drink and wonders what she's doing. She should head back already. She swirls her drink. It isn’t as cool or refreshing as it was before. Let it go. Go home. She stares at the stage. Maybe a few more songs.

She's nearly at the bottom of her glass when she feels a tap at her elbow. She looks up, a little startled and sees the singer from earlier.

“Is this seat taken?” she drawls, nodding at the stool next to Adora.

“No,” says Adora. “Go ahead.” As the woman hops up, she leans a little closer past Adora. She’s wearing some sort of perfume… it’s wonderful. Adora pauses, then says in a rush - “Can I buy you a drink? I loved your song.”

The woman looks her up and down slowly, with a smile. “Ok,” she says. She orders something Adora doesn't catch and Adora says she'll have the same.

She's gorgeous. Her eyes are dark and the makeup around them glitters.

“You have a beautiful voice,'' says Adora. “You sang so well.”

She laughs. “Oh man, I just had to get it out.”

“Rough day?”

“Rough week. Rough year. I don't know,” says the stranger.

“Do you sing here often?”

“Yeah... No. Not really. I'm from Salineas. I just come here to escape sometimes. Eurgh. God,” She shakes her head as though flicking away whatever she has left behind. Her hair is twinkling; there are little pieces of gold plaited in it. The light bounces and dances off her as she moves.

“Is Salineas nice?” asks Adora. “I'm headed there tomorrow.”

“Oh, really? It's beautiful. What's taking you there?”

“Just work,” sighs Adora. “I don't want to think about it.”

“Yeah, no,'' says her companion. “I like, totally, get that.”

Adora laughs. Their drinks arrive and Adora pays. It's something dark and smooth. Adora takes a sip.

“Oh my god,” she says. “Oh my god. What is this?”

“You've never had it before? Do you like it?”

“It's... ahh... it's... oh my god.”

The stranger laughs. “Oh, you really like it.”

“It tastes like ice-cream... but there’s something else… it’s even better than ice cream! It's so good. Oh my god, if I knew this existed earlier I would have...”

“What?” laughs the woman.

“I don't know. Changed my whole life sooner?” Adora giggles.

Her companion giggles too. “You are very sweet. I am so happy to share this with you.” Adora can feel her watching as she drinks it all. She smells like something Adora can’t place. Something nice, something Adora wants to linger over. She breathes in very slowly.

“Hey,” says the stranger, slowly. Adora looks at her. Her lips are such a nice colour. Adora hasn’t heard a word she said.

“Sorry,” says Adora. “what did you say?”

“I said, ‘hey, you've still got some on your lip.’ ”

“Oh,” Adora laughs and rubs her mouth with her hand.

“You have a very nice mouth,” says the stranger. Her eyes are glittering. Her eyelashes are so long. “May I?” she says.

“What?” whispers Adora. She's very close. Adora feels a little hot. She shifts in her seat.

“May I kiss you?”

Adora tries not to wriggle or fidget, although her heart is pounding, it’s like the bar is falling away from her and there’s no one else in the world but this beautiful, beautiful person with her long hair and low voice and dry laughter. Adora smiles. “After that song and that drink, you can do anything you like with me,” she blushes.

And then she's closing her eyes and she's being kissed. Catra, she thinks, but she pushes that away. Focus on the moment. The kiss - her lips. This is a rougher, firmer kiss than Catra would usually do. It's different, nice in a way. If Catra-

Stop thinking about Catra! Adora pulls away.

The stranger smiles at her. Adora smiles back. Then she looks down at her lap, feeling the heat rise in her face.

“Was that OK?” Her companion gently takes her hand.

“That was wonderful,” says Adora truthfully. “Really. I'm sorry, I just... I very recently broke up with someone.”

“And it's hard to get them out of your head.”

Adora wriggles, blushing further. “Yes. Yes, that's exactly it.”

“I know that feeling,” the woman rolls her eyes. “My last ex liked to burn-”

“Bridges?”

“Burn everything, really.”

Adora smiles sadly. “Mine too, in a way.”

“Listen,” says her companion. “This might sound forward so please, don't worry, I won't be offended if you are like - not interested - or whatever. I am not looking for a relationship. But I'm looking for one night... to feel good. If you like, I can make you feel really good. Like really, really good.”

Adora bites her lip. Should she? Oh god, she so, so needs this.

“I would love that,'' she says shyly.

“There's a little beach near here,” her companion lowers her voice. “I promise I am not going to murder you. It's not far from the main road - we could literally shout and someone would come running. But whatever. There's a little corner where we'd be hidden from sight... It would just be us and the sea.”

“That sounds great,” says Adora. “Kiss me again and I'll come.”

Her companion groans. “Oh god, you are so corny.”

She kisses Adora again. Even slower than before. Adora slides her hand onto her waist, feeling the softness of her shirt, feeling the kiss all the way down through her whole body.

This feels magic. This feels good. Adora is so, so ready for this.

They head to the beach hand in hand, coming together to kiss and falling apart to laugh and gaze away at the sky, at the horizon, at the distant lights of the ships anchored on the water. Adora presses herself forward, as her lips part gently in another kiss, her whole body leans into this beautiful stranger who is so soft, who has such a different shape, who is so much taller -

Stop thinking about Catra, Adora reminds herself, coming up for breath.

The beach is just as her companion described. The waves are softly lapping as Adora takes off her boots and socks. The sand is soft and cool beneath her feet.

“Won't the sand get everywhere?” Adora raises an eyebrow.

“Oh yes, it will,” laughs her friend. “But whatever, we can take a dip after, if you like. There's no current here.”

Adora lets herself be led between the rocks to a little, private patch of soft sand. Before she sits down she looks back at the water. “I saw the sea for the first time today,” she says vaguely. “It has been such a good day.”

The woman stares at her. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah,” laughs Adora. “I've never been to the coast before. I just never knew how beautiful the ocean would be. It stretches so far, I can’t even see the end of it!”

The stranger holds her hand and they stare out together for a little while. The water is dark but glints and glitters with the light of the moon. The waves crest and fall.

They undress each other, slowly, tenderly and pull close together.

....

Shadow Weaver is seething. Catra stares at her as she is practically hissing at her basin. What the fuck?

“Come see, Catra,” she laughs. “Adora is in Seaworthy.”

Catra is pulled towards the basin. She stares into the water. She watches. Adora looks different. She looks good... confident. She leans in for a kiss with a glamorous stranger in blue. She is led to the beach. She is... they are... Catra gasps, instinctively pushing it away. The basin falls and the water spills over the floor. The image of Adora and the stranger moving gently, naked next to the ocean, drains away.

Shadow Weaver laughs. “It looks like she's having a good time. I would have thought it would take her a little longer to forget you.”

Catra is trembling. She knows Shadow Weaver is baiting her but still... was it real?

She thought... she thought she was the only one Adora felt safe with, could trust enough to share her scars. What the hell? Not that Adora shouldn't feel confident... that's good but... Catra feels pricks of tears in her eyes and desperately fights them. How could she? She has been away for what… 2 weeks and 3 days and 11 hours?

Catra hasn't had a chance to regroup, to explain... to say... what exactly? Sorry? Adora isn’t getting a sorry. Catra's fists are clenched. She releases them. She doesn't care. She won't.

“Why would I care what Adora is doing in Seaworthy?” she says.

Shadow Weaver laughs. “Because you are the one who is going to bring her back.”

Chapter Text

Adora still feels dreamy the next day. She unfurled the jib, corrected a few dodgy knots she noticed and that’s it, she’s done. She is lying flat out on her back on the top deck, feeling it dip and roll beneath her as the sun kisses her face and the breeze tugs at her hair.

Sea Hawk and Bow are singing again. She can hear Glimmer disappearing and reappearing, on the lookout. For the first time in a long time, she doesn't feel like she has to do anything. What could she do? She's out in the middle of nowhere, on a ship! She might as well savour it.

She licks her lips and they are a little cracked but there's still the faintest taste of salt lingering. Her hair is a terrible, clumpy mess: she didn't have time to wash it after her swim last night. But it doesn't matter. She feels good. So good.

Even the air here smells incredible. What is that? Is it seaweed? The wind is strong but she's cosily wrapped back up in her jacket, which she hugs to herself. The sky stretches out as far as she can see, the boldest blue with just a few little wisps of white clouds. It's all so bright; she has to shield her eyes with one hand. The other is pressed to her chest. She smiles to herself.

A shadow falls over her. "Hey, smiler," laughs Bow. "You're happy today."

"I actually am," sighs Adora softly. She puts both hands behind her head and closes her eyes. "Who couldn't be happy here? Look at the sky. Look at the water."

Bow laughs again and Adora hears him stumbling and wobbling as the ship tilts upwards to avoid a large wave, cresting up and then lurching down.

"Maybe you should run away to sea," says Bow.

"Mmmm, good idea. I could be a pirate!" Adora murmurs.

"Aye, aye!" declares Bow. "We’ll sail the seas, ravage the lands, steal all the treasure we can carry in our hook hands…"

Glimmer’s footsteps are approaching. “What are you talking about? Is this a Horde thing?" she asks.

Adora bursts out laughing. "No, no, we're going to be pirates."

"Ooh, can I join?"

"You can be first mate," says Adora dreamily, closing her eyes again.

"Not Captain?"

"We'll all be Captain," sighs Adora.

There's a little pause and then Glimmer and Bow are laughing, laughing harder than Adora has ever heard them.

"What?" she says. "What is it?"

Bow and Glimmer are near hysterical and Adora can't help but laugh too although she doesn't even know why.

"What?" she pleads again. "Tell me!"

"It's you," says Bow. "I've never seen you like this."

"You're like the cat who got the cream," Glimmer rubs tears from her eyes. "Who are you and what have you done with Adora?"

"Nothing," Adora smiles. "It's just peaceful here. I never knew there was anywhere like here."

"Like here... where? The ocean?" Glimmer is shaking her head, amused.

"Yeah... the ocean," beams Adora. “Just look at it.”

"I'm glad you like it," says Bow, grinning at Glimmer.

....

Catra is not OK. She clings to the edge of her ship as her stomach heaves. She didn't realise there was anywhere like this. Endless, rocking water, tipping her down and up, down and up. She's going to be sick. She can't be sick. This is her mission. Her and Scorpia's, anyway.

Scorpia is not helping. Scorpia does not seem to understand the concept of personal space.

And now there's a gate they have to get through? She groans. She's never felt so nauseous or unsteady on her feet. Why does something terrible happen every time she leaves home?

....

Adora's happy bubble feeling lasts all the way until they are shown into Princess Mermista's court. They are brought before the throne. Adora looks up and chokes.

"You!" says the Princess. The Princess whose underwear Adora removed last night with her teeth. Whose skin she licked and kissed and squeezed. The Princess who did many nice things to her, several times over and who is part of the reason she has been feeling so deliciously dreamy all day.

Adora splutters and then coughs hard. She tries to apologise but there's still a tickle in her throat; she swallows it and ends up choking louder.

"What are you doing?" hisses Glimmer. "Be cool."

"You!" repeats the Princess again, dramatically. "Are! Welcome!"

Nice cover, Adora thinks, almost whimpering as she tries to restrain a giggle. Glimmer tuts at her. She risks a glance up at Mermista and sees she is grinning, one eyebrow raised. She quickly stares back down at her boots. She is shaking but she can’t laugh. She can’t. Oh god, Glimmer is going to think she is so rude, or totally deranged. Adora pulls her jacket down, straightening it. She tries to remain composed. Focus on the mission.

Oh god, has she screwed things up for the alliance? She's sure Mermista had a good time last night, she said as much but... She bites her lip. This was not exactly the diplomacy Glimmer had in mind.

It's not her fault. If Princesses want to sneak around in bars without giving their names, bestowing incredible mind-blowing saltwater sex on innocent travelers, that's their prerogative. Adora can be discreet.

She bites her lip, swallows her quivering laughter and focuses on keeping her face neutral and polite.

....

They’ve reached the gate; Catra spots her immediately. Finally. It’s the first time since... everything. But there, right beside her - the stranger from last night. Catra feels naked. She is in such a weak position here, worn out by this awful journey. She came all this way through this vast, rolling, miserable emptiness they keep calling the ocean, just for this?

She bares her claws without even thinking. She’s angry. So incredibly furious. She’s here for Adora. She is only on this sickening little mission, dying of dehydration and seasickness and sunstroke, because Adora never bothered to come back.

She's so on edge, her muscles are taut: her calf is cramping, her lower back is stiff. She twists it all out, warming up, rolling her shoulders, hearing them click and crunch.

Cover for me, Catra! Fucking hell. She was used and tossed aside. And she deserves better than that. Despite the seasickness, despite the betrayal and misery of the last couple of weeks, Catra knows she looks hot. She knows she'll get Adora's attention. She can play Adora. She'll tempt her home. She has to.

She had imagined them being alone, for some reason, the first time they could talk it out. But no, of course, Adora is surrounded by fawning little brats, playing at warfare. Was she always this superficial? So attracted to their weak flattery, the promises of luxury and an easy life in Bright Moon Princess Castle. She had thought Adora was better than that, even when she was cocky, even when she let Shadow Weaver spoil her. But no, it turns out that Adora is a Princess through and through. All hypocrisy, glitter and lazy incompetence. She hasn’t even seen them yet.

Catra sighs. It's a long way up. But no problem. She leaves Scorpia in charge of the ship and begins her climb.

....

She-Ra’s golden hair is waving softly in the breeze, she stands tall, a Princess of power, her strong arms lifting high the sword of protection, not as a weapon, but as a tool of healing… she will fix the breach and defend Salineas! She had particularly enjoyed Mermista's face when she transformed. Two can play at the secret identity game. She saw her blushing.

She's riding such a high that for a second she can't make sense of what she's seeing. And then - behind the gate - enemies approaching! It's the Horde. She has been distracted all day, but she has to wake up. This is dangerous. She has to take her responsibilities seriously.

....

Adora is not taking her responsibilities seriously at all! How can she let herself be dressed up like that? Isn't she embarrassed? She’s literally glowing, magic is like dripping out of her or whatever. So can’t she magic herself a better outfit?

For a moment the image of Adora in the bar last night, her crop top bra - the kissing - flashes across Catra’s mind.

No. Adora does not get to have this effect on her. Adora is pathetic. She’s losing her touch. She hasn’t even noticed Catra climbing up. She’s right there in front of her! Is she blind? Catra jumps to balance lightly on the stupid sword and laughs in her stupid girlfriend’s stupid face.

….

She came out of nowhere. Catra was there, right in front of her. Close enough to touch. Adora keeps her hands on the cold, hard sword, trying to focus. She never realised a sudden shock could be so physical, a plunging sensation all the way through her. She’s numb, she’s unsteady, she's going to pass out…

But she has to fix the gate. She can barely concentrate on what Catra is saying, the sword is draining all her energy but how - how is Catra here? Has Catra come for her? She has rehearsed this moment so many times, she has been speaking to Catra in her head for days - weeks - but now this moment is here and it’s slipping away from her.

….

She’s not coming back. She’s really not coming back. She wants Adora to feel - she will make her feel - just a tiny fraction of what she has been feeling every - single - day.

….

It’s hurting, it’s hurting her so much. She wants to scream, scream harder than she has ever screamed. Her skin is burning. The sword is scraping the magic out of her into the gate. Catra’s claws, they’ve hurt her before, but never like this, never so deeply, so casually, with such bitter, bitter hatred.

Adora can’t look back but she feels it as Catra is torn away from her by Mermista. Then, for a split second she feels relieved and that hurts all the more. How can she feel relieved as the one person she loves, has always loved, is pulled away from her all over again? She was too slow - she didn’t explain properly - Catra doesn’t understand… She’s such an idiot.

….

Catra can’t move. She bobs in the water and watches Adora smiling above her. She’s not even looking. Scorpia drags her away, pulls her from the cold, cold sea into the lifeboat, wraps her in a towel, holds her close and tells her it will be ok. They will be picked up by another Horde vessel. How embarrassing.

Scorpia dismisses their team and the two of them retreat to the Force Captain bunks. The ship is swaying, the metal screeches and groans each time it turns. Catra lies down, her seasickness finally cutting through the numbness. After a while, she realises Scorpia is still there, lying on one of the other bunks.

“Scorpia,” she says finally, barely managing a hoarse whisper.

“I’m here, wildcat.”

“We failed.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t the top, most optimal outcome,” agrees Scorpia. “That is true. But there were some positives. We were a united team, we meshed very well as a group, I thought, and… and… overall we should be very proud of what we achieved today.”

“What did we achieve?”

“We manned a Horde Cruiser! We carried out reconnaissance on the gate. And, we gathered vital intelligence about the rebels! We confirmed that the Princess She-Ra is colluding with the Salineas Princess known as Mermista - did anyone see that coming?”

“No,” Catra sighs. She is still shaking.

“You led the team, Catra! You led so well, I saw it all. We did not know that the Princess She-Ra’s sword would bolster the gate… but now we do. That’s a pretty interesting new piece of information right there.”

“Is it?”

“Sure!”

Scorpia is trying so hard to cheer her up. Catra doesn’t want to think about anything any more. She is cold and wet and nauseous. This has been another unbearable day.

“Not even the commanding officers have managed to defeat She-Ra, yet,” Scorpia continues. “You’re too hard on yourself, wildcat. We’ll regroup and come right back at her. Next time, we’ll be ready.”

Catra stares at the bunk above her head. She sits up.

“You know what, Scorpia?” she says. “You're right. We have survived worse. We will come back at her. We will not let her stomp all over us.”

“Ooh yes, there it is, there’s the fighting talk.”

“She-Ra is nothing. Nothing but tricks and lies and pathetic little excuses.”

“That’s so right. Could not have put it better myself.”

Catra grins to herself and starts to strip away her sodden clothing. She’s feeling better already. She peeks at Scorpia, who is staring at her.

“You are… has anyone ever told you just how beautiful you are?” Scorpia murmurs.

And Catra… just for a moment, feels alive. “I could hear it again,” she says. She stalks towards Scorpia, who smiles hopefully at her.

….

Adora is curled up in foetal position on the deck, the ship creaking beneath her. Bow and Sea Hawk are snoring. Glimmer is on lookout. Adora just lies there, aching. She can't sleep. Everything is painful, as though the magic was sucked roughly out of her, taking pieces of her with it. Her muscles are cramping in odd places. Her head hurts.

She is sailing away from Salineas, away from the beautiful day she had yesterday, which now feels like someone else's dream. The vacation is over.

And she blew it. She was so close to Catra and she blew it. She was so distracted. Why wasn't she even looking at Catra? She could have laid the sword down and talked, really talked to her, held her hand, looked at everything she had been missing, soaked her all in.

There was too much happening at once. She was under fire, the gate was shocking her every time it got hit, she was clinging onto that goddamn, stupid sword, giving everything she had. But these are pathetic excuses. She owed Catra at least some of her time. More than a brief look, after all they have been through together.

It wouldn't have mattered if the gate had fallen, if she could have convinced Catra to stay. She could have fixed it later. There was just one Horde Cruiser. They could have dealt with that. Catra was so close. Why didn't she drop the sword, sweep her up in her arms and kiss her tenderly, kiss her deeply?

She was sucked into the joy of war, the excitement of righteous defense, the job which she alone could complete. She was giddy with pride and, let's be honest, showing off in front of Mermista. None of that should have mattered. Catra was right there.

The deck is cold and hard beneath her cheek. It's relentlessly smooth, not a splinter out of place. She curls herself tighter into a ball, and lets the ship lurch her back to the shore.

….

"Yes, Scorpia… yes," Catra is gasping. "That's good, that's so good. Don't stop. Don't stop. Harder."

She is rising, climaxing… she feels good. So good.

Catra hopes someone at Bright Moon has a magic basin. She hopes Adora's face is held to the surface, then pushed under. She hopes she drowns there in that cold, shallow water. Yes.

Chapter Text

Adora doesn't think she'll ever get used to Dryl Castle. They're staying a couple of days to help Entrapta clear the chaos left in the wake of her robot uprising and in return the Princess is upgrading Bow's arrows and helping him with a couple of new designs. There's not actually much to help with, clearing up wise. Now the robots are no longer trying to kill them all, they are being very helpful and efficient.

Adora doesn't have much patience for watching Bow mess around with circuit boards all day though Glimmer is happy enough to sit chatting with him. So instead she has offered to shift some of the larger boxes of more delicate equipment Entrapta hastily tried to hide when the robots started crushing.

Adora still feels a little weirded out by her experience with the infected disk and it definitely helps to keep moving. She’s taken a few blows this week, but it’s ok, as long as she keeps her mind off things, keeps working, she’ll get through. No need to think about Salineas or Catra or the disk or the way she kept smashing at that robot over and over and over as the virus rage snapped something inside her… just keep moving the boxes. It's easy enough, warms her up and cute, little butler robots keep bringing her trays of tiny cupcakes!

Entrapta is torn between hovering, saying "careful, careful..." as Adora shifts things or plying her with questions about her sword, which is disconcerting because Adora knows next to nothing about how it works.

"Sometimes I stick it in things and they get fixed!" is all she can say, shrugging. "Plus, it's like… really sharp."

Entrapta is in agony. "But it's First One's tech!" she keeps pleading. "You should at least let me run some tests! There's so much to learn!"

A couple of days ago Adora would probably have agreed, but being turned into a murderous zombie, even just for a minute, has made her somewhat more cautious than usual. She didn’t know she could get sick like that and the sword…

She’s never really owned anything herself before, except for her clothes, so the sword felt super precious to her. She had even been considering calling it Swordy. But now she's a little uneasy as she holds it, remembering just how quickly it betrayed her to the virus. It's supposed to be the Sword of Protection… but now it kind of feels like a weak link in her armour. She's getting jumpy and irritable. She doesn't really like Dryl at all. There's something about the dark corridors and whirring machinery that reminds her all too much of the Fright Zone.

She has just grabbed another enormous box and lifted it high, when the bottom of it falls right out. She swears as complex looking gadgets tumble to the ground, clattering and clinking and thudding heavily. Entrapta looks up from the piece of circuitry she was inspecting.

“Sorry! Sorry!” says Adora. “Is anything broken? Can I fix it for you?” She winces at her own empty offer; there is very little chance she knows how to fix anything here.

Entrapta laughs, “Hahahaha! I remember this box! I haven't looked in here for a while. Not since the particularly stimulating night of experiment 218,” she adds with a chuckle.

“Er…” says Adora.

“Oh! Don't worry,” Entrapta waves her hand breezily. “That stuff is pretty robust, it has taken a few beatings over the years. I’m sure it’s all fine. Throw it back in.”

Adora picks up something that fits very nicely in her hand. It's large and pink and - well - pretty intensely phallic.

“What is this, Entrapta?” she asks.

“Oh! That's one of my sex toys,” she says.

“A - what now?” says Adora. “A toy? Like for children?”

Bow explained to her the concept of toys a while ago when she had noticed kids in the villages carrying around little miniature people or vehicles.

“No…” says Entrapta. “No, it's not for children. Not a toy in that sense. Just something that's fun to stimulate yourself with intimately. On your own or with partners or whatever. A sex toy.”

“Hmm,” says Adora. “Interesting.” Should she drop it immediately? It looks clean.

“Do you want me to show you?” Entrapta asks.

Adora looks up and smiles. “You mean... er... you mean... you and I, with the... er... with the sex?”

Smooth.

Entrapta shrugs. “If you like! But I actually just meant I was going to turn it on for you.”

She reaches forwards and presses a button. Suddenly the whole thing is vibrating hard in Adora's hand.

“Woah!” she giggles. “This is really going!” She watches it jiggle, wide-eyed.

“You can change the settings if you like!” Entrapta yells over the buzzing. “Just keep pressing the button.”

Huh. Each time she presses, there's another rhythm. It's not long before her hands are really tingling. This thing has a life of its own.

“Yeah, it can feel really nice if you stick it inside you!” Entrapta shouts.

“Oh!” says Adora, a little stunned. “Oh, ho ho... really? All the way in?”

Entrapta pauses. “I don't think your question is particularly well formulated,” she says. “You could stick it all the way in... but that depends where exactly you are sticking it. Just pressing it against yourself can also be very nice.”

Adora goggles at it.

“You haven't used one before?” Entrapta asks. “They’re very useful for relaxing.”

“No,” Adora chuckles. She presses it again.

“Would you like to borrow it? It’s always cleaned very thoroughly after anybody uses it.”

“Thank you, I - I don't know what to say,” says Adora. She presses it once more. “You just stick it in?”

Entrapta laughs. “You can do whatever you like with it! Oooh! This could really be an opportunity for you to learn what you like! You could treat it like an experiment!”

Adora raises an eyebrow. Well. Now she has effectively ostracised herself from the love of her life, perhaps she should branch out a little.

“I've never done an experiment,'' she murmurs. “Would you help me?”

Entrapta considers. “Help you experiment with the sex toy? Sure! Right now?”

“Er... yeah... I guess. Maybe we can go somewhere a little more private?”

“Excellent idea. People get very upset sometimes if they walk in. I'll order the sex platter to one of the bedrooms!”

Adora giggles. “The - what?”

“If it's an experiment, we should do this properly! I’ll get all the tools. Do you like whipped cream? Strawberries? Tiny pastries?”

“Food?” asks Adora. “For sex?”

“I love food and sex!” says Entrapta. “But if you're not keen, of course we don't have to.”

“No, no... I like the idea,” says Adora. “I just never thought of it before.” She has a sudden mental image of Catra rubbing her down in her bunk with a ration bar and feels a little faint.

She lets Entrapta lead her into a large room with purple walls. There’s a four poster bed surrounded by all sorts of contraptions.

“Is this all for sex?” Adora asks.

“Oh no, no… that one is for breakfast.”

“Oh.”

The bed has a plain purple covering. Entrapta moves back the curtains and sits on the edge. “Is there anything you don't like?” she asks. “Sex wise, I mean.”

Adora sits next to her. The mattress is firm, the covering soft. “Er... I'm not sure,” she shrugs. “I'll let you know, I suppose?”

“Yes, OK, that works. Safe word?”

“Red,” says Adora.

“Log! Day 105… Red is Adora’s safe word,” notes Entrapta into her recorder. “My friend Adora has suggested a sexual encounter and has asked for an initiation on sex toys.”

Sex toys? Adora wonders. More than one? What is she getting into?

“We will begin immediately!” Entrapta says gleefully putting on her goggles. “Oh wait!” She lifts them again. “This is just sex, right? You're not looking for a relationship?”

“Oh no, you’re very sweet, but just the sex, please,” says Adora.

“Excellent!” Entrapta cackles.

....

“They've been up there a long time,” says Bow thoughtfully. “Do you think they're coming down for lunch?”

“No,” says Glimmer, yawning. “I saw one of the robots taking a huge tray up earlier. They must have gotten stuck into something.”

Bow nods and goes back to his fletching.

....

Adora is breathing very heavily. She's having a lot of fun. Entrapta is thoughtful and gentle and creative and the sex toys are amazing.

Entrapta has an excellent sense of humour and hasn't even minded Adora laughing at all the various outrageous shapes and sizes, the one that was glowing (glowing!) and the one with that ridiculous smiley face on the side. Even better, Entrapta is very good at keeping track of Adora's favourites, such as the blue and gold one, which makes her feel like jelly.

“Log!” Entrapta cries gleefully into the recorder. “Day 105, Sexperiment 1, toy 14. The Massage-ulator 4.0 is a clear winner. Subject is quivering and incoherent.” She grins. “Want to go again, Adora?”

Adora nods. Entrapta holds her tenderly in her lap as she slips it deep inside, right into the wetness between her legs. The vibrations wave and wave through her until… she is coming… again.

“Let’s keep this one in,” Entrapta murmurs. “Lie back.”

Adora does as she is told. She’s safe in Entrapta’s hands, even if she sometimes seems to have many more hands than Adora can keep track of. The bedsheets have gotten very sweaty, but Adora is feeling wonderful. She lays her head back on the pillow and watches in astonishment as Entrapta begins to decorate her breasts, stomach and hips with berries, red, blue and black, and little hills of whipped cream. It all feels very cool against her skin.

“Log!” cries Entrapta. “Day 105, Sexperiment 1, stage 2. I have decorated Adora with fruit and now will proceed to the next stage. Ready, Adora?”

Adora wriggles a little and the cream wobbles. “I’m ready.”

Entrapta cackles. Then she begins to lick. She nibbles, she bites, so softly. Her extra hands are gently massaging Adora’s breasts, her feet, her head… Adora is so aroused that she is nearly beside herself, but even after all the cream is licked away, Entrapta continues to tease her, feeding her chocolates and tiny sponge cakes with bright icing that melt on Adora's tongue, leaving a sticky sweetness.

Entrapta’s hands play so lightly on Adora's skin, exploring her, reading her and Adora finds that with her eyes closed, it's like every other sense is heightened. Entrapta is a fast learner; she quickly discovers how Adora melts with a kiss on the neck or shoulder and shivers with desire whenever her hair is gently pulled.

Adora is gasping, she can’t think, she is all sensations. She tries to remember how to use her words but it’s very difficult. “Entrapta,” she finally manages. “Let me… let me do something for you!”

“Ok!” says Entrapta happily.

Adora manoeuvres so that Entrapta is lying on her front. She pushes her down on the bed and sits at the top of her thighs. She starts to rub her back but she’s feeling a little out of her depth. How can she compete with a woman who has so many hands? And toys? Entrapta has presumably spent years systematically studying techniques to get to this level. She is a sexpert and Adora is - she never realised - such a novice.

“You’ll help me?” she whispers. “Help me learn what you like?”

“Of course!” says Entrapta. “Log! Day 105, Sexperiment 1, Stage 2 continued. Adora is incredibly hot and doing exquisite things with her hands.”

Adora blushes. Catra always liked her massages too. Maybe she’s not a total novice. She runs her fingers along Entrapta’s curves. Her skin is so pale, almost white, a little transparent even. Gorgeous blue veins branch out along the back of her legs, like wiring.

Her hair is rippling softly, occasionally brushing past Adora or pulling her a little closer. Adora turns her over. There are more blue veins fanning out above her chest towards her collarbones. She kisses gently along these lines, then lets her tongue run down to the curve of her breast. She sucks her nipples softly and feels them stiffening.

“Log…” Entrapa whispers somewhere. “Day… Day 105. 104? 105. It’s very good… very, very good.”

Adora sits back up and smiles at her. She lets her eyes run over Entrapta’s beautiful body. Her hair is splayed out in rich purple swirls around her sweet face. She is biting her lip, her breasts are wobbling gently, her cock rises. Adora is momentarily distracted, watching as it swells. She wonders whether it feels the same as when she is wet and swelling down there when she is ready. She has never had sex with someone who has a dick before and she hesitates before taking it in her hand, a little nervous that she won't know how.

But she needn't have worried. Entrapta is a gentle teacher. She has fetched a little bottle of sweet smelling oil from somewhere and two of her hands rub it into Adora's hands, while another massages it over her cock.

She then lies back again, letting Adora put her hands on her. Then Entrapta puts her own hand over Adora's, steadying her until she is moving with the rhythm and pressure she likes best. She is quick to giggle with Adora as Adora slips and slides up and down, but then also moans softly when Adora gets it right.

Adora rubs herself on Entrapta's thigh. She strokes Entrapta a little faster, in time with the motion of her hips and Entrapta gives a soft little gasp. Her hands are grasping the bedsheet, the headboard… one is playing with Adora’s hair.

Then Adora reaches for the pot of cream. “Can I?”

Entrapta nods, still panting, and then giggles as Adora has fun slathering it over her cock. Adora adds a squeeze of honey for good measure. Then she moves her face slowly… teasingly… back down towards her dick. She pauses, letting her tongue stick out just a little too far away… Entrapta gives her a pleading look. “Adora…”

She licks off the cream and honey, lick by lick by lick. She begins to suck.

“Is this OK?” she asks after a while, through a mouthful of cream.

“Oh yes, absolutely,” says Entrapta faintly. “Don’t stop. That's very good. That's beautiful!”

Adora grins.

“Log -” says Entrapta. “Log… er… Log -” But she can’t get any further. She moans harder. “Adora!” She’s arching her back, she groans. “Adora, please, can you… can I… I’d like to be inside you."

Adora shivers happily and sucks deeply for good measure, though all the cream is long gone. She removes the toy from herself, rubs a little more oil into Entrapta, then sits back on top. She rubs Entrapta’s dick with her crotch, sliding over her, and again… Entrapta is groaning, arching her back right up… and Adora slides her inside. They cling together for a moment and then Adora starts to move, they move together, tilting into each other, pushing forwards, again and again.

Entrapta's eyes are wide and she whispers... “Keep going, keep going…”

She is inside her, melting into her. Adora groans, then moves faster and faster, she’s steadily pushing Entrapta again and again until she is gasping, her cock is so deep, deeper inside than Adora had realised it could go. It feels different, it feels good. She’s so happy to be here with someone as kind and smart and funny as Entrapta.

“Adora -” Entrapta says, “Adora-”

“Yes?”

“I'm so close, just a little longer.”

Adora twists slightly to get a better grip on her before swaying her hips forward again, letting Entrapta's dick thrust in, in a way that feels so, so good.

Entrapta gasps and then keeps gasping, she is shuddering, she clutches Adora, and then she laughs softly and rests her head on Adora’s chest. Adora holds her and kisses her gently.

For a little while there is a happy silence as they both catch their breath.

“From my perspective, this has been a very successful experiment,” Entrapta says. “What do you think?”

Adora is still panting slightly. “It was amazing,” she sighs. “Thank you!”

“No, thank you! Would you like to keep the toy? The blue and gold one?

“Yes!” Adora squirms. “Thank you!”

Now she owns two things! A sword and a sex toy! Better not mix them up, she laughs to herself.

Entrapta kisses her gently on the cheek. “Thank you, Adora,” she says again. “I really enjoyed that.”

“Me too.”

“Log!” Entrapta cries and Adora jumps, startled. “Day 105. Sexperiment complete. Very successful. Will make more detailed notes later. Ecstatic experience, would do again.”

Adora smiles.

“I'm going to have a shower upstairs.” Entrapta adds. “You can shower here, there’s an ensuite.”

Adora nods.

“Oh and - is this a secret?” Entrapta asks.

Adora considers. “I don't mind Bow or Glimmer or anyone else knowing,” Adora says. “But I probably won't tell them myself. I haven't really talked about sex with them before.”

“Noted,” says Entrapta. “Then I will not tell them either, unless they ask directly in which case, I won't lie.”

“Sounds good,” smiles Adora.

After Entrapta is gone, she wriggles happily. For a while, she could forget all her sadness, her raging anxieties. She laughs and hugs herself. She's a little surprised by the morning’s unexpected turn, to say the least, but that was a whole lot more fun than moving boxes.

Chapter Text

Glimmer bites her lip. She's wearing something a little sexier than usual. A long dress that hugs her, in a deep, shimmering purple, with a slit all the way up one side. It is low at the back to show off her wings.

She pauses at the top of the stairs, looking down over an ice white palace hall. The lights twinkle softly around her. As she makes her entrance, the music plays gently… something slow and rich, maybe a cello. The strings are definitely classy.

As she descends an elegant, curving staircase, step by step, she scans the crowd. People are watching her, frowning. They're all jealous, she thinks smugly... and a little disbelievingly, of course, she's still humble. But still, they're ALL jealous, all of them, all except... the one face she has been searching for. The one face that always breaks into a smile when he sees her. And yet, this time is different. This time he's seeing her anew. He is staring and she is blushing.

She reaches him; they bow to one another. She steps forward and takes him in her arms, holding him close, so close she can smell him, smell the cologne she bought him last year for his birthday. They lean into each other and start dancing slowly, hip to hip.

"Oh Glimmer," Bow says as they twirl. "This is just the beg-

Adora keeps clicking her tongue against her teeth! The ground is quite hard to lie on here, even with the blanket. And she's humming! And smacking her lips together in a weird, popping noise! Just ignore it. It's fine. The waves rustle against the shore. Bow is snoring gently.

Mystacor Beach. Glimmer has so been looking forward to this moment. The clouds lapping against the sand. The warmth in the air. Her best friends on either side. A little quiet. Time to indulge in her favourite reveries, let her breathing slow and her muscles relax. Nothing to do but dream. She closes her eyes again.

The ballroom flickers with dancing lights. The music strums. The air is icy cold. They huddle closer together on the dancefloor. "Oh Glimmer, " says Bow, leaning in. "I never..."

"Pop. Clickclick. Brrrrrr."

Glimmer tuts and rolls over. She shuffles around a bit, hoping Adora will realise she's being noisy and stop.

"Pop. Pop… Pop… CACAW!"

What the fuck is she doing? Just ignore it. Ignore it. The ballroom is sparkling, she's in her long, silky dress. Bow hands her a drink, which is bubbling. It smells faintly of lavender. "Oh Glimmer," he says -

"Neeeooooooooooooh… Pop."

WHY IS SHE MAKING THAT NOISE?

Glimmer sighs. "This isn't working for you, is it?"

"No," confesses Adora. "Can I sit up now?"

"Yes."

Adora sits up breathlessly as though they have been holding her down. Her face is stretched in an odd, sorry smile.

Glimmer frowns at her. "We're going to have to take relaxation to the next level," she declares. "Wake up, Bow!"

She'll save her daydreams for later.

….

She adores the steam grotto. This is her happy place. The rough rock ceiling, the way their voices echo, the deep blue water… she loves it all. The last time she was here, she was alone with Bow. They had sat very close together. The closest they had ever been, in fact. They were basically cuddling. They had fallen asleep in each other's arms... She has relived that moment in quite a few daydreams too.

Concentrate. She tells herself. Adora needs you. Be a good friend. Be like Bow, your inspiration and your secret love who one day will... Glimmer! Concentrate!

She takes Adora's hands and leads her into the water. Poor Adora, she's clammy and trembling. She has been so anxious, they're both super worried about her. Glimmer takes her time to explain the pool and then… all is slowly fading into quiet. Trickling water. Gentle splashes. Faint echoes. The water around her has a gorgeous, silky texture and is hot enough to be very soothing. It smells so good, a little like the sea. Oh my goodness! It actually worked! Adora is snoring softly!

She catches Bow's eye and they grin at each other. He has such beautiful eyes. How did it take her so long to notice that? After a while, Glimmer realises that she is staring at his biceps and her stomach does a little flip. Is she blushing? It's probably just the heat of all the steam. Adora is clinging to her but she doesn't mind. It is so peaceful here. She leans back against her and lets her mind wander.

She hasn't wanted to rush things with Bow. He has been her best friend for a long time and he is one of the greatest things in her whole life. He makes her laugh, he's not afraid of contradicting her, he's so sweet and smart and just brilliant at reading and understanding people. She has to talk to him.

She steals another glance and sees that he's awake but looking dreamily into the distance, his hands behind his head. What is he seeing right now? He shifts suddenly, seems to notice her watching and shoots her the sweetest smile, before closing his eyes.

Princess Prom is coming up. It's going to be so romantic. What will they wear? She should try and think up some inside jokes in advance. They will be getting ready together, she'll pin a flower to his lapel. She can see the two of them hugging together in a full length mirror, admiring how well they match. There will be dancing, late night snacks...

Maybe, at some point, she'll lead him away from the crowd and the noisy dance floor. Adora will probably be super distracted by the buffet table. She'll find a quiet spot, where the lights are low. She'll take his hand, hold it between hers and ask -

AAAAAAAAARGHHHH!

What the fuck? Adora is screaming.

Princess Prom vanishes as Adora backs away, slashing her sword against invisible enemies.

Why would she bring her sword in here? What the actual fuck is going on with her right now?

All thoughts of dancing and hand-holding dissipate as she sees the terror and confusion on Adora's face. This is almost worse than Dryll. Who the hell is she fighting?

....

She can't believe Adora smashed all those sacred writings. She is never going to hear the end of it from Castaspella. But it's fine, it's all fine now. Adora has gone for a nap and Glimmer can feel her own heart rate returning to something like normal. Adora will feel better after some sleep. She is really having a day of it.

If Glimmer wasn't so worried about her, she'd be pissed. Somehow Adora has even managed to escape having to watch the lunar ritual, despite dropping her and Bow in it. Eurgh… why? It's going to be so dull. When will it be Princess Prom?

There's still a couple of hours until Castaspella's ceremony. It has been a while since she and Bow were actually alone. She feels oddly shy as they wander back down towards the beach to watch the twilight and the clouds.

"Would you like a massage?" She asks suddenly.

Bow's eyes light up. "Great idea, Glimmer!" he says. "Today has been surprisingly stressful, considering we're in Mystacor. I mean… poor Adora. But yeah, I'm up for a massage. Who do you want to go to? That lady with the purple hair did an amazing job last time - "

"Er..." Glimmer is blushing... Is she going to say it? Can she?

"No," she starts slowly. "I meant... I could... if you like... give you a massage."

Bow pauses, his mouth open in surprise.

"Never mind, I was kidding, I'm kidding!" Glimmer backtracks as fast as she can. Bow still hasn't said anything; he is just smiling at her. What does that mean? She looks away and stares at the patchy grass along the beach path, her face warm.

"You would give me a massage?" he repeats.

"I'm sorry," Glimmer says hastily. "Forget I said anything Bow, please!"

"I didn't know you knew how to do massages."

She's looking anywhere but him, but she can hear the grin in his voice. Is he laughing at her?

"I don't!" Glimmer confesses. "It's a stupid idea, forget it."

"It sounds lovely," says Bow. "If you're still offering."

Glimmer stares back at the grass. There's a few little daisies poking through.

"Maybe," she mumbles. "Yes. Just don't laugh at me, OK? " she says. "It might not be a good massage."

"Hey," Bow gently lifts her chin to look her in the eyes. "I trust you."

Glimmer smiles.

"Glimmer! Glimmer!" There's a faint yelling. Oh shit, it's Aunt Casta.

"Ignore her! Pretend we haven't heard! Let's run, Bow!" Glimmer hisses.

Bow laughs, but it's too late, Castaspella has already spotted them. She hurries over and folds her arms. "If you two aren't doing anything, then I could really use your help setting up tonight. Especially since your extraordinarily clumsy friend has created such a mess and then disappeared."

"Sorry, we sent her for a nap," sighs Glimmer. "She's exhausted."

"She's exhausted? I'm exhausted. We're all exhausted. And the ceremony just won't be the same-"

"I know, I know. I'm really sorry, Aunt Casta. We'll help clear up."

Glimmer shoots Bow her best "sorry!" face. She had really thought Aunt Casta would have just cleared up with a wave of magic, but apparently not. She probably wants them to feel the consequences of their actions. Well, Adora's actions. But whatever. She'll make it up to Bow. Soon. She just can't wait for Princess Prom.

….

What a day, thinks Bow, as he shuts the door to his bedroom. Shadow Weaver is fucking terrifying. No wonder Adora was losing her shit.

He brushes his teeth and slips into his pyjamas. He is cozy under the covers but still, a little shiver runs through him. He really screwed up today… imagine spending the whole day telling Adora to nap, instead of actually listening to her, he cringes.

But it was nice in the end, once Adora had saved their butts. They spent the rest of the night at the beach, had a huge celebratory dinner and finally went to bed. Adora seemed much more peaceful once Shadow Weaver had been expelled and the protection spell renewed.

It was not the day he had been expecting. He had really been looking forward to some gentle timeout. But never mind. There was still so much to look forward to. Princess Prom, for example! He wriggles with excitement. Tucked up in bed, he can let his mind wander. What will they get up to? Bow slides his hand into his underpants and softly begins to touch. He reaches for the special personal arrow Entrapta made him. It's going to be beautiful. He's never been to the Kingdom of Snows before. He'll wear his new suit, tailored to perfection and that cologne he got for his birthday. Maybe she'll pin a flower to his lapel. Fuck, he thinks dreamily, rubbing harder. Perfuma is hot.

Chapter Text

This is it. This is gold. An invitation to a gathering of the Princesses?

"How did you get your claws on this?" Catra is bewildered.

"They sent it. I'm a Princess," Scorpia says cheerily.

Catra stops. What? Scorpia is a Princess? A Horde Princess? That doesn't make any sense. So wait... you can be in the Horde AND a Princess? Does Adora know this? Oh, ho, ho... Just imagine… Force Captain She-Ra…

....

Adora is pacing through her bedroom. The crystals are twinkling, throwing soft, rainbow lights on the walls. Why can't they just do some training? She hasn't trained properly in weeks. So many things at Bright Moon don't make any sense. And now there's a big Princess party? But why? Why now?

It'll be fun, Glimmer insists.

But what does that even mean? What's the point? It sounds like a ton of hard work and useless new information to learn. It's… frankly overwhelming. Why can't things just be simple the way they used to be? She's here to help the rebellion, to save Etheria. She didn't leave the Horde for dress up games and a light show. She didn't.

....

Catra smiles. The Kingdom of Snows is pretty cool. She has been waiting for this all week. She never thought she would be psyched to attend a Princess ball, of all things. And yet, despite everything, the loud music, the weird scents… it's all worth it for this one moment to see Adora losing it and yelling at a child.

"But your majesty, they're from the Horde!" Adora just can't stop herself. She's such an idiot. She loves to be seen on the side of the good guys. She can't read a room to save her life.

"Scorpia is a Princess, Princesses get plus ones, they stay," Frosta says firmly.

Perfect. Did she hear? Did she get it? Scorpia is a Princess. Adora wouldn't even have to give up her kink. She could come back, just as she is.

But Catra won't push it, not yet. Adora is not good at processing new information. She panics and lashes out at the slightest attack on her worldview. But there's no hurry... They've got the whole night ahead of them.

And yeah, right now Adora's in full righteous hero mode, screaming about following them all night. Fine by her. She will take Adora down slowly. Remind her of what Catra knows she wants. This is going to be fun.

The music plays; the night begins.

....

Catra is infuriating. What is she up to? Catra isn't here for the food and the fun. Adora knows Catra. She's single-minded, ambitious. She might come across as lazy or sloppy, but that's only to people who don't really know her. Catra is focused. Catra works hard. She might not admit it but Catra loves the rules and the order as much as she does. She's not here to play. Adora has to keep her eye on her at all costs.

But fucking hell. Where did she get that suit?

It fits her perfectly, hanging just a little loosely. It looks great, but isn't she going to get cold without shoes? On the other hand, she's always burning hot, the ice will probably melt around her. Adora looks away as Catra smirks at her, then immediately looks back as soon as Catra's back is turned.

And then suddenly, Adora sighs. It's such a shame. If only Catra could just enjoy herself for once. Maybe if she just tried the food… she'd love it. No-one can be set on evil plans after a buffet. Who would want to return to the Horde after they've tried chocolate or chips or cheesy rolls or pie? This could be Catra's first party… her Thaymor. Will there be a piñata? Adora hopes so. Catra would probably get it open in one kick.

....

Catra stalks around the floor. All she has to do is keep her eyes on Adora. Scorpia is taking care of the rest.

No problem, whatsoever. Adora is looking great, nice choice of dress. Horde colours, of course. Adora has never been able to let go... Catra has seen her still wearing her Horde uniform. She knows where her heart really lies.

If Adora just understands that the Horde will accept her, tiara and all, she'll realise she's been wasting her time here on superficial losers who think about nothing except stuffing themselves with fancy food, trying to look pretty and losing their minds over ancient etiquette.

Catra will tear this party apart. Adora will finally see she made a mistake, that she chose the weaker side after all. Adora loves a good strategic take down. And Catra has written her a beautiful one.

Catra laughs as she watches Adora scrabbling through the bin. There's all to play for.

....

She has to get it together. Just keep watching Catra. Glimmer is following Scorpia. At least, Adora hopes she is. She was having some kind of meltdown over Bow earlier... but Glimmer can handle it, she's a pro. This is serious.

For a moment she watches Scorpia massacring the hors d'œuvres and wonders if Glimmer should try to recruit her into the alliance... She's a Princess, isn't she? But that doesn't make any sense! How can she be a Princess and be in the Horde? She'd love to ask her about that, actually. Did Scorpia just wake up one day and decide not to choose, that she was going to have it all? Does she not care about her duty to Etheria? She never thought Catra would be seen dead with a Princess. When they came in they were arm in arm. Are they... Have they...? Focus, Adora. Now is not the time for letting your mind wander.

Where is Catra? Adora spins around wildly before spotting her stalking Entrapta, who is leaning dangerously far over the edge, completely oblivious.

No. Adora runs. She's got to get Catra away from here. She's a danger to everyone… there's too many targets, too many civilians. Can she... could she lead her away? Surely she'd see through that?

Adora sighs and pauses. Catra is smirking at her from across the hall. But instead of following her, Adora remains motionless. Then suddenly she darts away from her, out of the main hall and into the surrounding ice chambers. She's trembling a little. But it works... Catra is grinning and following her. Adora keeps walking past ice pillar after ice pillar into the white.

Finally, it's quiet. Just their footsteps echoing and the faint music and chatter from the main hall.

"Catra," Adora finally turns to look at her. "What are we doing?"

Catra pauses. Then one eyebrow rises. "I don't know, Princess. What are we doing?"

"I've missed you. I don't want to fight you. Can't we just…"

She trails off. Catra is smiling at her.

"Can't you just tell me what you are planning?” Adora insists. “We don't need to fight. We could..."

"We could... what?" Catra is looking at her with that look.

Adora has to keep her here. It's her duty. She must be up to something. It's not like Adora minds seeing her again exactly. But she should watch her. Just in case.

They are somehow standing very close together. In the distance a new song is starting up. Adora offers her hand and Catra takes it. They circle one another. Bow and Glimmer taught Adora the steps. She wonders who taught Catra. Dance lessons weren't exactly a high priority in the Horde when she was there.

"Did you hear? Scopia's a Princess," says Catra, as if trying to make small talk.

"I thought you hated Princesses." Adora replies coldly.

"Not all Princesses, obviously," Catra rolls her eyes.

"So, why her? You don't have to date her to date a Princess."

Catra laughs. "Don't I? Good to know. Are you..." she grins lazily. "Jealous?"

Adora feels herself blush and says quickly. "No. I made my choice."

Catra's smile flickers. She turns away.

"Wait!" Adora grabs her arm, kicking herself. "I'm sorry - I…"

Catra is looking at her. She looks defiant, but Adora saw the scrunch of her mouth.

Adora takes a breath. "I - I want…"

"Yes?" Catra's ears twitch. She's leaning towards her.

Adora feels dizzy. She missed this. She needs Catra. Catra doesn't hate Princesses! Maybe they could both leave. Scorpia AND Catra could join the alliance. Why else would they come to Princess Prom? There's no weapons allowed in here. Maybe they're not here to attack after all. That's it! Are they looking for an opportunity to defect?

"Are you…" she can't bear to ask.

"Shhh," says Catra. "Let's talk later." And then she kisses her. The ice palace melts away. Catra's lips on hers. Catra leaning against her. Adora moans a little and then gasps and pulls away, frightened.

"We can't, not here," she says. She can still hear the crowd in the main hall. There are strangers milling nearby. Anyone could walk by and see them.

Catra doesn't look the slightest bit ruffled. She's grinning. She puts her hands in her pockets and wanders further away from the music. Adora follows.

Is this a trap? Adora really should care more about whether it's a trap. There's fewer and fewer people. The ice echoes. Her breath is starting to frost in front of her. She told Glimmer she'd watch Catra's every move. She's watching alright. Every scuff of her feet, every swing of her hips.

"Catra," she calls. "We shouldn't be here."

"No," agrees Catra. "We shouldn't." She nods - there's a bathroom door ahead. She goes in.

Adora stares. Then follows. She locks the door behind her.

Catra has her back to her, fixing her hair in the mirror. Her hair doesn't need fixing.

Adora hesitates for one more moment and then slides her hands around her and kisses her neck. Catra is trembling. She moans.

Adora turns her around and kisses her and it's like the past few months never happened. They are kissing hard, Adora has one hand in her hair, the other pushing her back against the sink. Catra is letting her.

"Is this OK?" Adora whispers.

"Adora," Catra murmurs. "I want you."

"I want you too."

She doesn't know where to start. She wants to kiss every little bit of Catra. She wants to tell her all the things she should have said before, to tell her with her whole body, make her feel it all over. She is trying to put everything into her kiss.

And Catra is kissing back just as hard. Adora feels giddy. Is this happening? This kiss is different. It's desperate. It's so, so hungry. It's rough. She can feel Catra's claws so lightly, carefully pressing into her back. And Adora kind of wants her to scratch. She wants to feel it. She wants to lose herself in this.

Her hand is sliding up Catra's shirt. She can feel Catra trembling, the warmth coming from her. She presses against her and Catra gasps. Adora smiles at her, kisses her collarbone then pushes her thigh right between Catra's legs. They are moving together, still kissing, still holding, Catra's hands are under her skirt, grabbing her butt, pulling her close.

"Catra," she moans. "Catra."

"I know, I've got you," Catra whispers. "I've got you."

Adora reaches down and undoes the button of Catra's trousers, slides her hand in. She's very wet. But then Catra pushes Adora back.

And Adora stops. "Sorry," she apologises. "I won't, if you don't want… sorry, I -"

"Adora," Catra smiles. "Sit." She pushes her into one of the stalls and then down onto a toilet lid. The door swings shut. It's like their little bunk again, a safe space, just the two of them, forget the rest of the world.

Catra is sitting on her, kissing her, biting her lip, running her hands up Adora's thighs, pulling her skirt up. Nice, she smiles at Adora's red knickers. "You always look so hot in red." Adora feels herself blushing to match. Catra cuts slowly right through the silk with one claw and pockets the broken underwear.

"Catra!" Adora half laughs, half gasps. But then Catra is moving, she's moving down, she's licking... oh my god, she's licking, she's licking!

"Fuck," Adora whispers. "Fuck."

"Oh, I intend to," Catra smirks.

Adora laughs and realises she's nearly crying. She has missed Catra so much. And it's all going to be OK. It's all over and it's going to be OK.

She is moaning, she is arching her back. She pushes the walls of the stall away from her.

And then suddenly she hears Glimmer materialising.

No! Adora freezes, then quickly leans forward and slides the lock on the stall door. Catra looks a little shocked but then immediately grins, the face of mischief.

Adora can't move. They locked the door! How did - she forgot about Glimmer! Why is she in here? Why this bathroom? Why?

Glimmer is crying. Adora can hear the tap running.

"Fuck," thinks Adora. She can't move. Glimmer must have found the locked bathroom door and come in for some privacy, thinking she'd be alone. Goddamn it Glimmer!

Adora's leg is shaking, she's trying so hard to be quiet. Catra is licking her face. Her tail is curled around her leg under her skirt. Catra bites her lip and then gently pulls her hair.

And Adora gasps. She immediately puts her hand over her mouth and gives Catra her angriest stare. Catra nuzzles against her.

"Hello?" asks Glimmer shakily. "Is someone there?"

Adora pulls Catra up so her feet won't be visible under the door and tries to step up herself.

"Adora?" asks Glimmer.

Fuck. She was too slow. She can feel Catra shaking with laughter.

"Er... Yeah... Hi Glimmer," Adora clears her throat. "Are you OK? Are you still tailing Scorpia?"

"Yeah, I am, I am, I was just taking a minute."

"Wow... so incompetent," Catra whispers in Adora's ear.

Adora coughs loudly to cover it. Catra's fingers are reaching under her skirt. She grabs them and holds them still.

"Ah… Glimmer. I'm not sure you should leave her, er.. too long?" Adora says, trying not to let her exasperation give her voice an edge.

"What about you? Shouldn't you be tailing Catra?"

Adora bites her lip and closes her eyes. Catra is giggling silently into her shoulder.

"You've been in here a long time," Glimmer adds.

"Yes," Adora sighs. "Yes, you're so right."

"Are you coming out?"

Catra is smiling at her. Adora glares back.

"I just... I've, er... got a poorly stomach."

Catra looks at her.

"Oh no," cries Glimmer, "are you OK? Did you eat too much at the buffet? Have you been sick? Do you want me to wait or come in?"

"No! No! Thanks Glimmer, that's very kind of you but, er…"

Catra blows an enormous raspberry.

Adora cringes. She's going to die, right here, right now.

"Oh OK," says Glimmer, "er... "

Catra makes another long fart noise. Adora leans her head against the wall in despair.

There's a little silence then Glimmer says, "I'll just - I'll just leave you to it. I'll go find Bow and ask him to tail Catra while you are... er... busy."

"Thanks Glimmer, that's a good idea," Adora babbles. "See you in a bit, OK?"

She hears Glimmer's disappearing twinkles.

And Catra is laughing so, so hard. So hard, she's almost wheezing. Adora hasn't heard this laughter in a long time. She groans for a long time, her face in her hands. "Oh my god, Catra... did you have to make those noises?"

Catra is laughing so hard, Adora is starting to worry she might choke. "What? You needed a good cover," she murmurs. It sounds like she's wiping her eyes.

Adora swears and shakes her head, face still hidden in her hands.

"Don't cry, Princess," says Catra teasingly, tail flicking at her. "Let me kiss it all better."

And she kisses Adora softly. Adora sighs and holds her tightly.

"I'm here for you," Catra murmurs.

"You are?" asks Adora shakily.

"Of course I am. You're such an idiot."

Adora is actually crying now.

"I've missed you so much," She says. "So, so much."

Catra is squeezing her tight and she clings back to her, sobbing.

"Hey," Catra soothes. "It's OK. It's all OK. I'm going to rescue you. I'm going to take you home."

Adora pauses. "You mean you're really coming with me? You're really defecting?"

Catra freezes.

"No. Dummy. We're going home. Home, home. To our home. Our bunk."

Adora doesn't move. She can't move. Please, no, she pleads silently.

Outloud she hears herself say, "but I thought… I thought you came to defect? Why else would you be here? You don't even have a weapon, you can't even attack."

"Why would you think that?" says Catra blankly. "So… you still want to stay? After all this, you still want to go back to Bright Moon?"

"Yes," says Adora, shuffling back a little. She risks a glance at Catra but she's staring resolutely at the tiled floor. "But you could join the alliance!" She says hopefully. "Scorpia could join too, we could get everyone out of there, the old team all together again. Please, Catra- "

Catra laughs but it's no longer a joyful sound. "I am not a quitter," she spits. "I am not a traitor."

"I know that, Catra! But it's better at Bright Moon. There's no Hordak, no Shadow Weaver…"

"I'm not scared of them. When did you get so cowardly? When did you start to choose cakes and sparkles over being your best self?"

"I didn't, I'm not-"

"You're pathetic," Catra whispers. And then she's wrenching open the stall door, she's running.

"Wait!" Adora yells. She's trying to reach her but Catra was always so fast. She follows her all the way back to the main hall but she's lost her - she scans the crowd desperately as she descends the stairs.

Princess Frosta is announcing something about a dance and suddenly there is a stampede. Adora finds herself pulled along onto the dance floor. The spotlights switch, the music is starting and suddenly Catra is there again holding out her hand, a smirk back on her face.

Adora catches her breath and tries to think what she could possibly say to convince her to stay.

"I don't know about you, but I am having a blast," says Catra.

Is she being sarcastic? Adora is too angry to speak. If she doesn't want to defect, why does she look so smug and happy? She must be up to something.

"Whatever your plan is, it won't work."

"Are you sure?" Catra just grins.

The dance shifts. They're turning.
She's dancing with Glimmer, she's dancing with Perfuma. What is happening, where is Scorpia? Where is Bow?

"Did you wash your hands?" Glimmer hisses at her.

And then Catra is in her arms again.

"Maybe my plan won't work," she says coolly. She swings Adora into a dip. The music blares. She's holding her so tight but the whole world has spun upside down, once again. "But then again, maybe it already has."

Adora is shaking.

"It was fun distracting you though," smirks Catra.

And, if Adora didn't know better, she could have sworn there were tears in her eyes.

Chapter Text

Catra is so hyped after everything that happened tonight; the air has an extra taste of electricity, like her fur is standing on end. She shakes her hair back, she's restless, panting a little as though she has been running. It's now the very early hours of the morning, but she feels like she could sprint a long, long way. She closes her eyes and savours the feeling.

But she's not alone. Adora is standing very close. Too close. Catra can almost smell her old, plain, soapy scent mixed with just a little fresh sweat. Hear the swish of her skirt. She is taller than Catra, she practically towers over her. But Catra can handle it. Catra is faster, she could easily outrun her if she needed to. She doesn't need to. Adora's not exactly a threat. Catra can have this. She deserves this. Adora just wants to make her feel good. And Catra is going to let her. She feels a shiver of guilt. She shouldn't, not like this. But...

“Hasn’t this just been the best evening?" enthuses Adora. “You looked incredible. The way you were teasing all night. That suit... Catra, everyone in that palace was staring at you.”

“At us,” Catra corrects. “You looked hot. You can't deny it. Certain people were intensely, intensely jealous,” she snickers.

Adora seems to be considering this. For some reason it seems to make her a little sad.

“Forget about it,” Catra brushes the thought away. “My point is... You were the hottest person in that room.”

“Oh Catra, gosh, really? I can't believe that.”

“You should. Own it. You showed them.”

Adora giggles. “We did, huh. We really did. We showed them. What a night. What a team.” She is starting to lean in. Catra looks at her. Adora keeps moving, so, so slowly towards her. They’re nose to nose, Catra can feel her hot breath, but then… Adora hesitates. Catra closes the gap for her. She's kissing her. Adora gasps a little as their lips touch and then she pulls away. “Catra? Are you sure? Is this what you want?”

“Of course, I'm sure,” Catra says, kissing her harder.

Adora kisses her back. She's very hesitant, gentle. “I'm here for you, Catra,” she says between kisses. “You're so beautiful. - I had a wonderful night. - Maybe the best night of my life. - Did you try any of the food? - The food was incredible!”

Finally, Catra sticks her tongue in her mouth. Her hands are at her waist. Her mouth is so soft… so wet. This is a long kiss. A perfect end to the night. Everything is perfect.

“Is this OK?” Catra remembers to ask her.

“Yes,” says Adora. “This is... everything, Catra. You're my best friend, you know that. You mean everything to me.”

They are both kissing harder now. Then Catra pushes gently and despite her being so much taller, Adora immediately backs up. Catra keeps pushing, until she is backed against the wall.

Adora is trembling. “Catra. You, beautiful… oh my-”

“Is this good for you?”

“It's so good - I - don't stop!” For once she seems to be almost speechless.

It’s ok. She’s into it. Catra presses against her crotch. She rolls Adora's skirt up just a little. Then suddenly she chuckles, a naughty thought flitting across her mind. “We have the sword,” she murmurs.

Adora's eyes go very wide. “We do! We do have the sword. It's right here. You... er... you want to play with the sword, Catra?”

Catra is laughing. “The blunt end might feel pretty good.”

Adora laughs but she looks a little horrified.

“Forget it,” Catra smiles. “Just an idea.”

Adora nods. “Yeah, no, I've never really been one for weapons in the bedroom. Sorry.”

“That's OK,'' says Catra. “Where were we?”

“You… er… I’m pretty sure you were kissing me. Yes.”

Catra purrs. “I was kissing you, huh?”

“Yes, definitely there was quite a lot of kissing happening just then. And I was kissing you too, yeah, definitely kissing both ways, I did not miss that. Was it ok for you?”

Catra laughs. “It was great.” She leans forward, pinning Adora against the wall once more. She closes her eyes.

Adora leans down into her kisses, completely envelopes her in a hug. She is surprisingly tender for a woman of her height and strength and muscle. Catra is all wrapped up. Even with her eyes closed, Catra can see her smug, cocky smile. Her lean muscles. Her golden hair. Her red lips.

“Yes, that's good, Adora…" Catra murmurs. "Yes... Don't stop- ”

Adora freezes.

Shit. Catra immediately realises her mistake and can't move - the guilt rushes through her like a sudden cramp. She forces herself to raise her eyes to Scorpia, who is staring back at her. Not even Scorpia could overlook that. The hurt is so plain all across her face. No way she didn't hear.

“It's me,” Scorpia says. “It's me, I'm here. She left you.”

“I know, Scorpia, I know,” Catra says, quickly. “I'm sorry, that was unforgivable. Scorpia...”

But even Scorpia has her limits. She pushes Catra away gently and leaves. The ship door hisses softly shut.

Catra sighs heavily. Time to deliver the sword up to Shadow Weaver anyway. Lonnie already took the captives up there. Catra picks it off the chair where she dumped it earlier. She feels the cold, hard, heaviness of the metal. She swings it through the air, once, twice; she considers throwing it as hard as she can into the wall of Scorpia’s ship… but she doesn’t. She releases a long, long sigh and then also leaves.

Chapter Text

Adora is clinging onto the gold hair pin, which is still stuck deep in the rock. It seems stable for now. Her hand is very sweaty but it's so cold, it feels like it’s freezing. Her skin is actually sticking to the pin in places. Shit. She pulls her fingers away one by one. Ignore the pain, no worse than pulling skin away from a blister. She swaps hands as smoothly as she can, feeling sick as she sways and lurches.

Her breath is frosty. Her fingers are aching. She tries to keep the blood flowing, making a fist again and again with her free hand. She can't let go… she can’t even see the bottom of the cliff. There’s nothing to grip onto, no way to climb back up. Catra left her hanging here to die.

Catra trusts you can get yourself out of this, she thinks. But Catra might have misjudged this one.

Did Catra forget that she's not a Princess without the sword? This seems like a cruel, drawn out death, even from her. Once she's exhausted, there will be nothing she can do... She'll just fall. A pretty sad, lonely death for the one who was supposed to save Etheria. So much for destiny.

Catra does forget sometimes that climbing isn't so easy for her. Adora took a lot of falls as a kid following Catra too high into the rafters or right up onto towers where the railings were rusty from disuse. Quite a few of her nastiest scars were from those falls.

But Catra would soon forget. “It's so easy,” she'd say in disbelief, swinging from some precarious beam. “No way you can't do it, Adora. Look, even I did it.” And like an idiot she'd follow her, over and over again, cutting herself to ribbons in Catra's wake.

Or perhaps Adora has got it totally wrong. Maybe Catra knew exactly what she was doing. Look at the evidence: Catra couldn’t care less if she falls to her death. She has Glimmer hostage, which means she has Queen Angella in her hand. She probably just took the sword to add insult to injury. She won’t give her that satisfaction. Come on Adora, you can figure this out.

Breathe. Problem solve. What are her options? Either she manages to pull the pin out and lets herself fall, stabbing it back down again as soon as she can. Hopefully, she only drops a little way at a time until she reaches the bottom. Or, she just hangs here until someone comes to rescue her. Thank god she's wearing red, there's at least a chance she'll be spotted.

She's starting to shiver violently. The adrenaline that gave her a boost all the time she was fighting must have worn off. Now she is just cold, tired and in pain. She knows from Horde training that this is actually the most dangerous time - not the heat of battle, although of course, that's not exactly safe. But the greatest danger is when you're alone or tired, highly likely to make a stupid, easy, fatal mistake.

And she's worn out. That's an understatement. Emotionally. Physically. She's completely drained. She did all that research and still, she wasn't the slightest bit prepared for Princess Prom. Maybe, she should just let go. It would be quick.

Fuck, she swears. She has to get angry. Anger is energising. And she's not going to fucking give up and fucking die alone on this fucking ice cliff just because Catra decided to be a little bitch and forget that Adora, unlike some people, cannot land on their feet from hundreds of metres in the air.

She groans out loud. Goddamn it, Catra! Goddamn it, Glimmer and goddamn it, fucking Bow! You wanted this fucking night out! Not me! It'll be fun. Fucking hell. Hope the appetisers were worth it. She never even got to the main buffet, she was so distracted by Catra. Her last meal was... what? Lunch? Lunch was fucking beans! She can't die and the last fucking thing she ate was beans. Her life really has been sad. Maybe it was good she was dragged to a party even if it ended like this.

Her hand is going numb again. She switches laboriously to the other. It feels like her arms are being dragged out of their sockets, centimetre by centimetre.

Should she shout? But she's so high up, who would hear her? No-one will be looking for her. They'll assume she's with Bow and Glimmer, the two fucking incompetent assholes who let themselves be captured because they wanted to go to a fucking dance!

Oh, who is she kidding? She knew better, even if they didn't. And it was her job to protect them. Once again, she has fucked everything up. They made her wear a dress! And took away her sword! And she let them! She let herself be completely distracted. By that fucking beautiful suit. God, is she never going to learn? Never again.

This whole evening has been miscalculation after miscalculation. If she had known she was going to end up hanging for her life from a goddamn ice mountain, literally freezing her butt off, she wouldn't have let fucking Catra steal her fucking underwear! She would have bundled up in a big fluffy coat like Princess Frosta’s. With heat pads sewn into the lining. Socks. Gloves. Preferably made from the fur of one goddamn manipulative magicat.

She's trying to make herself smile but it's not working. This was brutal, even from the Horde. Did no-one, not Lonnie, not Rogelio, not even Kyle, whom she saved like a million times in training, think, hmmmm, maybe leaving Adora alone to die on this ice cliff is just a little too far...? She used to be their friend. Well, this is war, she reminds herself. She hopes they hear about her death and fucking weep. God, she hopes Shadow Weaver fucking kills them, then everyone in the Horde, then herself.

Ok, that was not a very nice or very Bright Moon thing to think. But god, she’s just so tired. Why can't anything go her way, for just once? She really thought, for a few happy minutes, that everything was going to be okay.

But even if she gets off this cliff, what's the point? Bow and Glimmer are gone, the sword's gone, she is completely useless. Catra... She can't even think about Catra. Catra has made her choices. Catra doesn't get to raise her hopes, only to immediately blow them all up again. Except she does. She did.

So Adora's life has been short and painful, what was she expecting? That she was special? That she was one of the few who would survive more than a couple of months on the front line, from sheer luck? She knew this was coming. One way or another. It was easy to forget; she was so distracted by all the sweet luxuries of life at Bright Moon. She was getting so used to it… it didn’t take long. She got complacent. And complacency is always, always fatal.

What will be said of her when she’s gone? She got some good times on the cadet training course? She was a stellar Force Captain for about two minutes? She-Ra. She was Etheria’s last hope and she didn’t take it seriously enough. She practically threw her life away running after Catra, as always. Letting herself be coddled at Bright Moon, death by pillows and ice cream and parties.

She sighs and leans her forehead against the cold, hard rock. Well, at least she’s nearly done. She can rest. Dying was never going to be the worst thing. She won’t feel like such a failure when she’s dead.

Wow, morbid much, Adora? She thought she was more mentally resilient than this. And it wasn't all bad. She’s just exaggerating because she’s in pain and that always makes her extra grumpy. There have been good moments too. Think of the good moments.

It was nice to see outside the Fright Zone, at least. She can remember when she thought everywhere would be exactly the same, just with the Princesses in charge. She's glad to know that it is actually so different. There are pockets where peace exists, where people can feel safe enough to go dancing and forget war. It will continue without her. There's more than death and the Fright Zone. Even if not for her.

She wishes she could have seen more of it. Gone back to The Siren's Song and had that drink. She can't even remember what it's called... she should have asked Mermista. She should have had honey cakes and more rose tea with Perfuma, maybe every week. She should have yelled, “I fucking told you so!” in Frosta's face as soon as the bombs went off. She should have asked Bow to teach her archery. Or gone sailing again with Sea Hawk. Revisited the Steam Grotto with Glimmer. Back to the Whispering Woods with Catra.

It wasn't all bad. She's had some very good memories, even if now they hurt to remember. She'll hold onto the good ones as she falls. It won't be long. She has lost the feeling in one hand and the other won't be far behind. She tries to scrunch her fingers but they're too stiff, some kind of swollen mix of burning pain and frozen, wet numbness.

It's probably her last chance to try the desperate ploy of semi-controlled falling. She has waited as long as she could. No-one is coming for her. She yanks at the pin and her whole body swings and wobbles violently as it loosens a little. It was really driven in, she's not even sure she can get it all the way out.

But she's going to try. Better to die trying than just drop. She works at it through the pain in her fingers. The temptation to just stop and let go is strong but she knows how to ignore it. Maybe Cadet pain training was useful after all. Concentrate. She has to do it. Be brave. If she lets go, there's every chance it'll be the end. Nevermind. Die trying, at least.

It's loose. She goes over the plan. Pull the pin out, sudden drop, don't lose your head, stab in again. Don't fall away too far from the cliff, don't drop the pin. She can't control her shivering but hopefully it won't affect her grip.

I'm such an idiot, she whispers to the cliff. But I love you. It has always been you. And I want to think that you'll learn from this and get over this. I hope it doesn't turn you more bitterly against Bright Moon. I hope you speak to Bow and Glimmer while you have them captured. See some of the light and kindness in them that I saw, that I was drawn to. I hope you get them out. I hope you all get out. I love you all and I'm glad that I knew you. Even if you did fucking leave me hanging.

She yanks the pin away before she can get too scared and she drops. It is so fast it takes her breath away. The wall is flying past her in a blur. She is supposed to hit the pin again - she forces her arm into the wall. But either her numb hand is too clumsy or maybe the pin was too blunted. Either way, she's still falling fast, nothing is stopping her. She has been falling too long. Will Glimmer suddenly appear and teleport her away? Will Bow cast a net? She wishes.

Someone is screaming and she wonders if it's herself. The pin is hot and sparking in her hand as it scratches all the way down, in and out of the ice and rock, her arm juddering violently. She has been falling too long. Next stop, nowhere.

The screaming is getting louder and suddenly they're there - Perfuma and Mermista - there's vines and flowers, she's plunging into water - she's slowing - something hits her hard - they've got her. There's many hands holding her. She crashes into the ground but it's not too bad, they slowed her down somehow.

She lies there, feeling the ground hard and lumpy beneath her. She stares up at the white cliff stretching so far above towards an even paler sky. Fucking Winter Wonderland. Is it starting to snow? There's little flakes of cold falling into her face. Maybe she fell just in time.

Perfuma and Mermista are leaning over her. They're saying something. Her ears are ringing, she must have hit her head. She never remembers what concussion feels like. Is this it? Her lips feel almost frozen shut but somehow she yanks them open.

"How - how did you find me?" She stutters. It comes out as a broken whisper.

"Adora!" Perfuma breathes, looking stern. "Don't move OK, I'm glad we got you."

"How?" she asks again.

"Entrapta said you were unaccounted for… " Perfuma is looking around, waving people over. "She didn't see you and Catra return after you ran off together. It took us a while to figure out where you were and then, just after we spotted you, you started falling."

Entrapta... She forgot about Entrapta. She was observing the social experiment. What on earth will she write in her notes?

"It was… fucking terrifying," says Mermista.

"I'm sorry" Adora says, her voice catching roughly - maybe she was screaming: her throat is raw. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"Don't apologise," Mermista snorts. "It was pretty exhilarating, actually. But I'm glad we got you in time. I was like 99% sure you were a goner."

They are wrapping her in blankets. They are trying to give her a hot drink but she can't get her hands to work. Perfuma is holding her up and trying to make her sip. It's all just a bit harder than usual.

"Log!" Entrapta is yelling. "Against all odds Adora survived what appears to be an approximately 175m drop. We'll have to see if she is fatally injured, there’s still some danger of frostbite-"

Mermista is steering her away.

"Thanks, Entrapta" Adora tries to call after her. Entrapta raises a hand in acknowledgement.

"We saw Scorpia's ship leave with Bow and Glimmer…" Perfuma says softly. "Was Catra with you?"

"We - yes, we fought." Adora is slurring her words a little. She is trying to speak normally but maybe she's just too cold. "but she - she left me, she - she left me."

"Hey, hey it's OK. Let's get you warmed up, hey?"

Adora is struggling to concentrate. What was she supposed to be doing? The others are talking over her.

"Mermista, can you carry her to the emergency medic zone? She's dangerously cold, probably in shock, her hands are shredded-"

"Thank you," Adora stutters. "I had to let go, I didn't think anyone was coming, I was trying to hold on for longer but-"

"Shhh,'' says Perfuma. "We'll talk later. We'll have some tea and get you warmed up first."

"We have to get to the Fright Zone. Bow… and Glimmer… "

"We'll figure it out, don't worry, you'll be feeling better tomorrow. Time for sleep and recovery, OK?"

"You’ll tell them I love them? And Catra? If I die? Tell them I love them?"

"No one’s dying," says Perfuma. "Not today."

Adora nods and lets herself be carried inside. Her head lolls. She’s out.

"Catra?" Perfuma mouths at Mermista, who shrugs.

"Must be delirious. She didn’t finish. Maybe she wanted to tell Bow and Glimmer she loved them and tell Catra to stop being a crappy little kidnapping, cliff-throwing piece of shit terrorist."

"Yes… maybe," says Perfuma doubtfully.

"If Adora dies, that’s 100% what I’ll tell her she said anyway," Mermista snorts.

Chapter Text

The sirens are still blaring, the lights are flashing, it’s giving Catra a full on headache. She stalks through the corridors; she’s in no hurry. She highly doubts Adora and her ragtag team of pampered royals can fight their way all the way to the Black Garnet. She turns a corner and yes - as predicted - Adora has surrendered. Catra can see she's cornered from here. What an idiot. She has even managed to lose the rest of her team.

But perhaps she would like an escort to Shadow Weaver. Catra bounds over to her. Adora doesn't look up. No acknowledgement at all, she is just watching her boots, letting two cadets push her forward. Catra hisses at them and one squeaks “Sorry, Force Captain!” They back off.

Adora doesn't react. Seriously? Catra growls a little. Can she not see her? She must have heard her, right? But Adora is still walking, no change in pace, eyes on the ground.

Catra darts right in front of her and stops. Adora comes to a standstill. Catra waits, hands on her hips, blocking the way. But Adora just keeps staring at the floor.

"Hey Adora," says Catra, slowly.

Nothing.

"What's up with you?" Catra asks. “You’ve surrendered already? You barely made it through half the Fright Zone.”

No reaction whatsoever. It's unnerving not being able to see her face, only her miserable, little hair puff.

"Oh, you think you can get me back with the silent treatment?" Catra laughs. "You know me better than that."

But it's actually starting to get a little worrying. Adora hasn't moved at all. Usually she would be yelling something righteous and melodramatic by now. Showing off. Being all loud and Adora-y.

"Hey," Catra grabs her jacket and Adora flinches away. Catra lets go. Adora moves back to her previous position so slowly it's like she's moving through water. Her eyes are still on the floor. Is she injured or something?

“Adora!” Catra yells. Nothing.

Catra carefully looks around and then takes a step forward. “Adora?” she pleads. She lowers her voice further and whispers, “Are you ok?”

Finally, Adora looks up. Catra pauses. One side of Adora's face is badly bruised and scratched; there's a swollen, blood-speckled, red and yellow lump around her eye and deep grazes all the way down to her chin. Her jacket is only on properly on one side. It is draped over the other, partially hiding some kind of sling. The cadets had been holding her free arm behind her back. Now Adora moves it forward, Catra can see it's also heavily bandaged.

Fuck. No wonder she surrendered. What is she doing here looking like this? Is she concussed? And still trying to rescue her people? Why would the Princesses let her take this mission? God, they must be desperate. Or just a whole lot more ruthless than Catra realised.

"What the fuck are you doing?" she says out loud. "What happened to you?"

Finally, Adora laughs. It is a low, angry laugh, not one she has ever heard from Adora before. It's somehow chilling.

"What happened to me? Are you serious, Catra?"

Catra breathes a sigh of relief. "Yeah, dummy. Last time I saw you, you looked a lot better than you do now."

Adora closes her eyes. Is she really in this much pain? Her teeth are grinding together; she doesn’t look 100% steady on her feet. Weird that she’d be happy to flounce around the Fright Zone looking like she's one good punch away from bio waste. Why is she here? Surely, Sparkles is not worth all this.

“Did you pick a fight with someone on your way home?” Catra snorts. “Couldn’t get enough at the dance?”

"You left me," says Adora calmly. "You left me hanging off a cliff in the freezing cold, where I hung for over an hour until I finally fell nearly two hundred metres. I dislocated one shoulder just hanging there and then I broke a few more things on the way down. My hands… never mind. It was a close call, Catra. Well done. Would that have been your first actual murder, or…?"

"What?” smirks Catra. “Please. This isn't on me. Why didn't you just climb up?"

Adora laughs again, that creepy, bitter laugh.

"I'm serious," Catra insists. "Are you stupid? It would have taken a couple of swings for that big, glowy oaf."

Adora doesn't answer.

"Doesn't She-Ra have healing magic?" Catra continues. "Or did you think by parading around here like this you'd win our pity, steal a few more recruits, have everyone dying to defect to the losing side." She laughs. Pathetic.

But Adora just looks at her, as though she's the one who is stupid. They stare at each other. Her eyes are so blue. Usually Catra can see exactly what she’s thinking, Adora is terrible at hiding things. But today she’s utterly unreadable.

"Just take me to Shadow Weaver," Adora sighs, looking away.

"You think you can take on Shadow Weaver and rescue Sparkles looking like this?"

"What do you care?"

Catra stares at her. Why is she this hurt? Why is she so angry? She's a Princess, isn’t she? She really does have healing magic… right? Is it a trick? Some kind of decoy?

She bumps gently towards Adora's side and Adora flinches, hissing her breath a little. No, Adora was never a good actress. Besides, she smells ill, like a fever. Why wouldn't she have transformed?

Suddenly it clicks.

"You can't transform? You actually need the sword to be She-Ra?" She pauses and then laughs. "They didn’t really make you a princess at all! Hah! It's all just the sword?"

She thinks quickly… She-Ra always had the sword, but she didn't realise she relied on it. Do all the Princesses need a weapon to transform? She's never seen Sparkles carry anything. Shadow Weaver probably knows, but she is incredibly stingy with information. Even vital information like this, which could have saved her a ton of time.

Catra groans in frustration. "That's why you didn't transform when we were fighting at the ball! I thought you were just going easy on me."

"Catra." Adora sounds kind of woozy. "If you don't take me to Shadow Weaver then I am going to pass out and then you'll have to have someone drag me. And then you won't get to watch me, in all likelihood, fail spectacularly to rescue Glimmer and get myself tortured and killed, which I know would really, really make your day, so please, can you just move out of the way?"

Catra moves.

Adora strides forward. She can't even hide that she's limping a little. God.

Catra walks alongside her. "I didn't realise," says Catra quietly. "I thought you'd just climb up and heal or whatever."

Adora laughs bitterly. "Well, now you know."

"What do you want? An apology? You're not getting one."

"I don't want anything from you, Catra. Not any more. You've made it very, very clear that we're done. You left me to die so yeah, congratulations, the Adora that loved you is dead and gone. I'm just the Adora left in her place who doesn't care any more. It might be the last thing on my to-do list, but I'm going to rescue Glimmer so she can take down the Horde like you deserve and then you won't be able to hurt anyone else ever again."

"Wow, overdramatic much?"

Adora doesn't reply.

"I thought you were supposed to be a soldier?” says Catra. “Suck it up. Don't come whining to me. They really have softened you up. You're not even ashamed to flaunt how low you've fallen."

She pauses for a comeback that doesn't come. Their footsteps echo together along the corridor. Almost like old times.

"So anyone could use the sword then, huh?" she asks.

"You want to be a Princess now?" Adora smiles grimly. "Got a taste at Princess Prom for how your life could be if you weren't so stubborn? Or do you just want more power to terrorise innocent civilians?"

"You always have to play the martyr, don’t you, Adora? It's getting dull. We're at war, what do you expect? You want me to go easy on you?"

"Wow, you really sound like her sometimes."

"Like who?"

"Shadow Weaver."

"I do not!"

Adora sighs. "It would be funny if it wasn't so goddamn tragic."

"I am nothing like her," Catra spits. "Nothing. I don't prey on those weaker than me. If you got hurt through your own incompetence that's your problem."

Adora just looks at her.

"Shut up," says Catra. Even she heard it, that time. But Adora is just pressing her buttons.

And Adora is not Catra's problem any more. Catra has proven her capability as Force Captain. She lured her back, just like she said she would.

They've reached the Black Garnet Chamber. Catra opens the door and lets the two cadets walk Adora inside.

Chapter Text

Bow is watching Glimmer recharge beneath the moonstone, biting his fingernails. The air is shimmering around her. It’s so quiet up here. He has been waiting a while… why isn’t it done yet? He missed her so much. When he was in that cell and knew she was captured, possibly getting tortured... he couldn't stand it.

Sure, she gets on his nerves sometimes, she was being completely unreasonable at the ball... But still, she's Glimmer. His best friend. If anything happened to her... if she can't heal… he doesn't know what he'll do.

But then she is stretching - all better? She plays with her sparkles, dancing the lights between her hands. She grins. His relief is palpable, it feels like he can finally breathe again... and then she glitches, writhing in that vicious red, cursed magic. It's worse if anything! Damn it.

There's movement below. Queen Angella is floating up, majestic and terrifying as usual.

"Shit, Glimmer,” he says. “Your mom is coming... Maybe you should just tell her?"

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," says Glimmer, "No, Bow, let's just go, quick!"

"There you are, Glimmer," Angella says, soaring into view.

"Whoa, Mom, can’t a girl recharge in private?” Glimmer laughs loudly and awkwardly. “Anyway, we were just leaving. Bye!" She grabs Bow's hand and he tenses, ready to disappear.

"Is Adora all right?" asks Angella.

They pause. Glimmer looks up at him in confusion, torn between her desire to escape and surprise at the question. "Er…"

Bow looks around. "Where is Adora?" he asks.

He had been so focused on Glimmer... Glimmer looks equally baffled. "Um…"

"She’s here," says Angella pointing.

Bow and Glimmer both look. Adora is curled up and snoring gently, tucked under the table where Glimmer was recharging.

"Well, that's new," Bow chuckles. "She's actually asleep! She never sleeps."

"She must be exhausted," murmurs Angella. "Did she say how long She-ra would take to heal all her injuries?"

"Er…" Bow looks at Glimmer, but it looks like she doesn't know what Angela's talking about either.

Angella tuts. "I only let her on that mission because she said that she'd heal up as soon as she got the sword… but I suppose it's not instantaneous, is it?"

"Um…"

"Glimmer?" Angella looks shocked. "You didn't even ask, did you? I know she's your protector but you need to look after her too. I shouldn't have let her go. She was so hurt... But I don't know what I would have done if I had lost you."

Glimmer and Bow look at each other. Bow feels as though he has taken a punch to the stomach. He's going to cry. They have been bad friends, again. He was so caught up in the escape and then Entrapta and then Glimmer... he didn't even notice Adora was hurt.

"She seemed fine, after she transformed," Glimmer says. "But I guess it still takes a while... And Shadow Weaver was trying to wipe her memory…"

Angella gasps.

"It's OK,” Glimmer says quickly. “I don't think she succeeded! At least, she still remembered me afterwards."

Angella swears and Glimmer looks up in surprise.

"Sorry, darling,” Angella coughs. “I just really hate that woman."

Glimmer shoots Bow a look. Bow shrugs. He has literally never heard Angella swear and by the looks of it, neither has Glimmer.

"Poor girl," Angella sighs. "She does look a lot better but we'll have to run some checks, especially if Shadow Weaver was messing around with her brain. What is wrong with that woman? Adora has enough on her plate… we very nearly lost her after the prom, she must rest. She didn't tell you?"

They shake their heads.

"Not yet," says Glimmer sheepishly. She looks as guilty as Bow feels. They were both concentrating on Glimmer's glitching… Adora never said anything… she looks very small, tucked up under the bench.

Angella sighs, "Well, I'll let her tell the story when she's ready. But she really should be resting while she can. Over the next few days, we've got a lot to do... There'll be an inquiry about Entrapta of course. And -"

She is interrupted as Glimmer glitches, her face contorted into pain, red magic sparking through her, she yells, twisting -

"Stop!" Angella cries out. "Make it stop! Glimmer, what’s happening to you?"

Glimmer blushes. "Any chance you didn't notice that?" she cringes.

"Glimmer!"

"Shadow Weaver did something to my powers," she says in a small voice.

Angella stares at her for a long time. Then she says, "Bow - you take Adora back to her room. Both of you need rest. I'll have food sent up."

"Glimmer. Let's get some dinner. We need to talk about everything. We'll figure this out."

Glimmer pulls a "help me!" face at Bow but he shrugs.

"That's an order, Glimmer," says the Queen.

Glimmer scowls but they disappear together. Bow sighs and looks back at Adora. She's curled up around her sword, clutching it like it's a soft toy. He pulls her out from under the table gently. If he wakes her up straight away, he just knows she'll sit up immediately and bang her head. When he shakes her arm and calls "Adora!" softly, that's exactly what she does: sits bolt upright, yells and grabs the sword, ready to attack.

"Hey, hey, it's just me," says Bow. "You fell asleep."

"I fell asleep?" says Adora incredulously. "Here?"

"Yeah," laughs Bow, "I didn't believe it either. You must be exhausted."

"Yeah, must be," says Adora, looking bemused. “Where’s Glimmer?”

"Angella caught her glitching and they've gone to chat privately," Bow explains.

"Yikes," Adora pulls a face. "Does she need a debrief about Entrapta?"

"Yes, at some point," Bow replies. "But in the meantime she seemed more concerned about you? Maybe don't lie down here. I'll help you to your room."

Adora is yawning. She had started to lie down again, but at his words she pauses and sits up straight back up. "Me?” she says. “I'm fine."

Bow looks at her. She looks groggy, like she’s still more than half asleep.

"Angella said you were badly hurt after princess prom."

"Yeah, well, you know," says Adora vaguely.

"Maybe you should sleep. I can walk you back to your room?"

"Sure," says Adora. But she sighs deeply and doesn't look ready to move at all.

"Can I ask what happened?" Bow presses gently.

Adora stares a little while into nowhere. "Yeah... I guess. I just screwed everything up. I was such an idiot… it doesn't matter."

"But you got hurt?" he asks. Now that he is really looking, the signs are obvious. Her face is sporting a faint yellow bruise down one side. The skin on her hands is patchy, mottled with lumpy oranges and reds - it looks like the scabs from some serious cuts - with some newer more pale purple skin coming through underneath. Her eyes are puffy and tired. There is what looks like a discarded roll of bandages sticking out of her jacket pocket.

"It’s ok,” says Adora. “She-Ra speeds up the healing somehow.”

"But you're not immediately healed? Your hands still look pretty painful."

She shrugs. "I guess I’m still working on a few things? It's fine, much better than before."

"What happened?"

Adora looks like she’s going to lie down again, but remembers halfway through and sits back up. Bow shuffles a bit so he’s propped up by the table and Adora copies him. She sighs as she leans back against it and closes her eyes.

"I ran after Catra," she says. "And then we fell off the mountain ice palace thing."

"You - what? How high was it?"

"About 175m," she says. "According to Entrapta, anyway," she adds sadly.

"How are you still alive?"

Adora laughs. "Well, I didn’t fall far at first - remember the hairpin I was wearing? I used that to stop - I dug it into the rock. I was holding onto Catra but then she let go and was taken by her ship - the same one you and Glimmer were on. Then I just hung there for a while until one of my shoulders dislocated and then I fell properly but I couldn't get the pin back in. But it was fine. Perfuma and Mermista saw me - and slowed me down. It was fine. I'm fine."

Bow looks horrified. "But how did you survive?" he asks again.

Adora shrugs. "Well, I scratched up my face. And my hands. And broke my wrist."

Bow looks at her, shocked.

"And some ribs… " she trails off.

"You came to rescue us with broken ribs? What was Angella thinking?"

Adora laughs, "Yeah, no, she was not keen on the idea. But then the other princesses turned up and I was the only one who knew my way around the Fright Zone. I think if it hadn't been you and Glimmer... but we had to - the Queen was ready to give herself up and what good would that have been?"

Bow doesn't know what to say.

"It was fine, Bow, honestly. It just had to be done. And Catra gave me the sword back, so it’s all good. Hey, do you think maybe I could heal Glimmer too? I've never tried its healing powers on anyone else before."

"Er... maybe focus on yourself for now?"

"I'm fine," says Adora. "But that glitching is serious… we have to find out what it is… maybe I can fix it - " She makes a move to stand up, looking as though she’s about to run off.

"Glimmer said you had a poorly tummy at the prom too," Bow teases, mainly to distract her.

Adora groans and sits back down, her face in her hands. "Oh my god, no! When did she even tell you that?"

"Like straight away, she was so worried. Just before I got kidnapped," Bow giggles. "Were you lying to her?"

Adora finally smiles a little. "Did she suspect?"

"No, she didn't, she was really, really concerned for your stomach. But she said she'd found you in a locked bathroom and you were acting weird and refusing to come out of the stall... And I just wondered... were you in there with someone?"

He grins at her. But Adora doesn't answer. For some reason she looks really, really sad.

"I won't tell anyone," laughs Bow. "I know Glimmer's only a couple of years younger but sometimes it feels a lot more than that. She's so ahead in so many ways but in others... I don't know. She's still a little immature? She has always been so sheltered. She was acting so crazy at the ball... I had no idea she just assumed we were going together... she never said anything about it."

"Did you have a good time with Perfuma?"

"We had an amazing time," Bow sighs. The table is digging into his back. He lies back down on the ground and again, Adora follows him. They lie side by side, staring at the sky. "Perfuma's so great," Bow smiles.

"Did you... you know?" Adora asks. He can hear the smile in her voice. He can’t see her face from here, but he would bet anything she is waggling her eyebrows.

"Once getting ready and once in her wagon," he smirks.

"In her wagon?" Adora laughs. "I'm glad somebody was having a good time."

"Yeah," Bow sighs. It's so comfy lying back here with his head on his hands, watching the clouds. He hasn't properly relaxed since before the ball. "Yeah, but you know, when I woke up in the Fright Zone, I was so scared for Glimmer, I couldn't even think about anything else. I really like Perfuma, I can imagine dating her for sure, but... I don't know... "

"Glimmer adores you," says Adora simply. "And when you have that... it doesn't always last forever. So... just don't take it for granted."

Bow sighs. "I know. I know. I should have taken her to the ball. I just didn't think she was ready to see me like that. I really thought we'd all go as a big group and it would be fine."

"Plus Perfuma is hot."

"Shut up!" Bow giggles. "But yes, she is. So, so hot. Oh god. I'm going to have to break up with her and we haven't even started going out."

"Why? Did she think you wanted a relationship?"

"No, no, we discussed it before sleeping together obviously and we both said it was just a one night thing… but there was definitely potential for more. Damn."

Adora laughs. "It's fine, don't worry. Perfuma is lovely, she'll get it." She pauses. “Awww, you and Glimmer? That’s so exciting!”

"Yeah. Yeah, I hope so,” Bow sighs. “If she’ll have my stupid ass. I guess we’ll see.”

There’s a little silence. The clouds float by.

“So anyway, what happened with you and the mystery stranger in the bathroom then?" he pokes her.

But Adora doesn't answer.

"Keeping secrets are we?" he laughs. "Adora, you can tell me!"

But when there's still no reply, he sits back up to look at her. And as soon as he sees her, he realises she is crying. There are literally tears rolling down her face. Not just one or two, but tears absolutely streaming down.

"Fuck, you cry quietly," he gasps. "Are you in pain or something? Sorry, I should have got you some meds -"

"No, no, I'm healing, She-Ra is healing it. It's fine. I'm fine," says Adora, wiping her eyes with her jacket sleeve.

"Adora, you're not fine, you're crying your eyes out!"

She just shrugs. "I messed up, Bow," she says shakily. "You're going to think I'm the worst. I am the worst."

"I know you," Bow soothes. "You're the bravest person I know. You're the best of us, honestly. How did you mess up?"

"I'm so stupid. I really thought… I just wanted to think…" she groans. Then suddenly she's sobbing so hard.

"Adora," Bow says, pulling her into his arms. "Hey, what's up? Been a rough few days, huh?"

Adora just howls. Bow has never seen her like this. He's a little floored, to be honest. But god... she did just fall off a whole cliff, it makes sense if she needs to cry it out. He holds her and rocks her forward and back like his dads used to do. "Hey now, let it all out," he says. "It's OK to be sad. You're safe. I've got you."

And eventually she quietens.

"I'm sorry you've had such a rough time," Bow says.

"I just screw everything up," Adora says quietly. "Entrapta was the one who knew I was missing. She told Perfuma and Mermista so they could catch me. She saved me. And then I immediately got her killed with my stupid plan."

"That was not your fault," Bow insists. "You rescued us, which was a brave and kind thing to do. Entrapta knew the risks and she wanted to help. She saved us. We won't forget, we'll do everything we can to honour her legacy. It's not your fault."

"It is my fault. And I can't bear it. She was so smart and so kind. She didn't deserve it."

"No, she didn't," Bow agrees.

"What will Angella do?"

"What do you mean?"

"When I debrief… what is the punishment here? Like how long? Or do I just get kicked out of Bright Moon? I don't have anywhere else to go."

"Adora," Bow laughs. "That's ridiculous. There will be an inquiry to find out what happened but even if you made a tactical error... kicking you out of Bright Moon wouldn't help you do better next time. That's not how we do things here. Usually if you lead a mission and someone dies you would talk to their family. I guess we'll try and contact Entrapta's people, if she had any."

"She was so smart and I'm just a fucking idiot," Adora says sadly. "I should have died, not her. If she had just let me fall, she might still be alive. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be anywhere. I don't want to do it any more, Bow, please," she sobs. "Everyone just gets hurt all the time and I can't protect them. I never protected them."

Bow rocks her again. "What are you talking about? You've protected us so many times," he whispers. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry you're hurting. Let's get you to sleep. Huh? It'll feel better after sleep, honestly. You've been through too much, too much for anyone. You work so hard to protect us all and you do a great job."

But Adora shakes her head.

"You're going to stay out here?" Bow asks.

Adora doesn't move. "I don't know," she whispers finally. "I don't know what to do. I don't know how to do anything."

"You're exhausted," Bow says sadly. "Sleep will help, I promise. Could you transform again? Will that help the healing along?"

Adora shrugs. He just keeps rocking her.

"I'm sorry, Bow," she says eventually, pulling away. "I'm fine, really. I guess I'm just tired. Why am I so tired?"

"Hmmm, I have no idea why you would be tired," says Bow sarcastically. "You only stayed out all night dancing and then fell off a cliff and then broke all your bones and then immediately led a military operation in which you got captured and tortured..."

"I didn't break all my bones," corrects Adora. "Just a few."

Bow tuts and raises his eyebrows at her.

"But yeah, I guess it has been a lot," Adora laughs a little shakily. "I'm sorry for crying on you."

"Hey, I'm your friend, that's what I'm here for," he says. "Any time you want to talk. And if you are still feeling low in the morning, we can take it easy. Maybe have some extra nice breakfast, maybe a lie in. You could talk to Perfuma or Spinnerella, maybe. They've helped me before when I've been low."

"I think I should go find the place Madame Razz showed me," Adora muses, cutting across him. "It looked like some kind of beacon. Maybe there I'll find some answers. Learn how to heal Glimmer."

"That's a great idea," says Bow. "But first, you need to sleep," he tries to sound stern.

"No, I should train," she says. "I've been so distracted. None of this would have happened if I hadn't been so distracted. I haven't been training properly. Will you tell Glimmer where I am?"

"You're going now? Right now?" Bow can't believe it.

"Glimmer's still hurt, right?"

"Yes, but so are you."

"I'm fine, I've had worse."

"You've had worse than falling off a cliff, being tortured and then losing a friend?"

But Adora seems lost in thought. "What's a lie in?" she asks.

"I will tell you tomorrow," says Bow. "If you promise to sleep."

"I don't need sleep, I can just transform. I don't even know where this beacon is, so I should go now, it might be a long trek."

"Adora - no!" Bow pleads.

"You'll tell Glimmer where I've gone? Don't worry Bow, I've slept all morning."

"You must have slept for 20 minutes at most!" Bow groans.

"That's plenty," says Adora. "It's fine, I'm She-Ra! Tell Glimmer I'll come back as soon as I've learned how to magically heal people," she promises. "I'll fix this."

She struggles to her feet, as though everything is hurting, as though she has aged about 60 years in one go. Then she raises the sword using both hands, like it's heavier than usual.

"For the honour of Greyskull!" she cries. And her tired, tear-stained face is gone. She's aglow, golden, grinning widely.

"See? All fine. I'll catch you later, Bow!"

And she jogs away faster than Bow can follow. Bow lays back and groans deeply.

"At least have some food!" he yells after her. She waves in acknowledgement before leaping down the stairs several at a time.

"Fuck," says Bow, his face in his hands. "Why is she like this?" He sighs. Better go tell Glimmer. Angella is going to kill him.

Chapter Text

Adora is hanging from a rusty beam, face sweating, eyebrows knitted in concentration. She just has to swing herself over the drop - it's quite a jump, but she should be able to get it. Come on, come on, Catra wills her to make it.

"Just swing up," she calls.

"I know, I know! I've got it!" Adora swings herself forwards and back to gain some momentum and the whole bar screeches like it's going to snap.

Catra swears. "Not so heavily, Adora!" she yells. She watches as Adora throws herself forward - shit, how is she so uncoordinated? She hits the ledge - she's slipping, she's going to fall all the way down, probably to her death -

Catra grabs her. She pulls her up; Adora scrambles back over. She rolls away from the edge and then collapses laughing.

"I thought that was the end," she pants.

"Idiot," says Catra. "I said to go lightly."

"Whatever. I made it."

Catra snorts. "Not without help."

Adora grins. "What do you want, a thank-you? After you've dragged me up all this way? You're not getting one."

"Spoilt brat."

"Little shit."

"People pleaser."

"Shut up," Adora jumps to her feet and shoves Catra playfully. "What did you want to show me up here, anyway?" She wobbles a little as the corrugated iron bends beneath her. "Assuming you're not trying to kill me."

Catra laughs. "If I wanted to kill you, I would have done it on the ground."

"You wish!" Adora snorts.

Catra takes her hand. "Come on, doofus," she says. "This way. Carefully! I don't want to have to clean up your splattered body. It's not much further, just along here."

There's a sloping bit of a roof and then more flat metal sheets roughly lashed together with some steel beams. They take their time, arms out, balancing along the sturdiest route, which Catra scouted out earlier. Finally, they reach what they came for. It's a steady, flat kind of ledge, which is pretty secure, even if it occasionally sways in the wind.

"Here," says Catra, gesturing. This bit of old roof is the highest vantage point Catra has ever reached. She was quite doubtful Adora would make it up, but she had to try.

"Look," Catra says, purring softly. Adora stops and just stares. The sun is starting to set so it looks like the whole sky is on fire. It's barely even smoggy up here.

"Is that…" Adora gasps. "Is that beyond the Fright Zone?"

The horizon is a dark, blurry smudge, but it really does look like there are some distant hills or mountains.

"What do you think is out there?" Catra breathes.

"Who cares," scoffs Adora. "I've got all I need right here."

And she turns away from the beautiful view that Catra found for her, that she worked so hard to reach and instead lunges forward and sweeps Catra up in her arms, swinging her around.

"Put me down!" Catra yells. "Not up here, you absolute idiot!"

Adora is laughing but gently puts her back down. "Scared you won't fall on your feet?"

"I'm scared you and your big clumsy boots won't look where you're going and swing us both off."

"Aww Catra, don't be frightened."

Catra growls and jumps back at Adora, hard enough to make her stumble. Not hard enough to push her anywhere near the edge. Adora dodges but Catra is too fast, she catches her on the second lunge.

"Why are you such an idiot?" Catra groans and then leans in for a kiss.

Adora giggles and then lets herself be kissed. Her lips are so soft. Their arms are around each other, pulling each other close, they're breathing together, wrapped in each other.

They're well practised at this, but Catra has never gotten bored of it. She wants Adora desperately every hour of the day, she isn't satisfied until some part of them is touching: her tail lightly brushing across Adora's arm in the morning. Her head on Adora's shoulder as she sits in her lap, while Adora reads through the latest training news and updates. Subtly leaning her chin into her back as she waits behind her in line.

But it's not enough. They've never gone further, they haven't known how or where to even find the privacy. But up here the air is clearer. They can barely make out anyone on the ground, they just look just like little pins. They're alone, really alone, for maybe the first time ever.

"Catra…" says Adora softly, pulling her close. "Thank you for the sunset. It really is beautiful."

"You're not even watching," Catra complains, as Adora gently sways her, one hand in hers, the other on her hip.

"Well, it's not as beautiful as you, '' says Adora smugly.

Catra laughs. "You idiot." But she lets herself be turned around and round in her arms. Dancing like some kind of princess. Thank god no one can see. The lights on the buildings below are flickering on, one by one, bathing the whole Fright Zone in soft, warm orange.

Catra doesn't know how to ask, so she just squeezes Adora's hand then pulls her face down again to hers. She licks Adora's lips very gently and then kisses. She's putting it all into her kiss. She's holding Adora so tight to her, like there is no space between them whatsoever.

"Would you like to...?" Adora breathes.

"Yes," she says immediately and Adora laughs.

"You don't even know what I was going to say!" Adora smirks, one eyebrow raised. "Maybe I was going to ask if you wanted to climb back down. Or go for a jog."

Catra is purring. "You weren't," she says confidently.

"No, I wasn't," says Adora. Suddenly she looks serious. She is pulling the band out of her hair and letting it fall around her shoulders. She is laying her jacket down on the ledge, where it's widest and sturdiest.

Catra is so afraid. What if... what if... Stop thinking, she tells herself. Do. Just tell her everything you want to tell her but this time use your body. Make her feel good. Nothing easier. You love her. She loves you. You can do this.

"You're trembling,'' says Adora in an awed voice. "Are you cold?"

"I'm not cold,'' she says, nipping Adora's cheek gently with her teeth. "But maybe we should cuddle closer, just in case."

Adora laughs her big, happy laugh. The happiest laugh in the Fright Zone. Catra doesn't know how she does it. How she keeps her joy and her relentless optimism through everything. They had a terrible day, the drills, Shadow Weaver -

"Sounds good to me," Adora whispers and Catra is back on the roof, she doesn't need to think about anything else: just Adora. Catra peels up Adora's shirt, pulls it right over her head and Adora shakes her head to let her golden hair tumble back down. She's wearing her crop top. Catra bends to kiss Adora's stomach and Adora moans a little.

"Catra!"

Catra keeps kissing. She holds Adora's waist steady with one hand and slowly starts to pull down her leggings with the other. Her legs are so beautiful. She wants to kiss everywhere. She kisses every inch.

But she forgot the boots. She backs off as Adora hops and wobbles, trying to pull them off. She gives an enormous yank, so hard she pulls herself off balance and falls backwards.

"Adora!" Catra actually screams, she sees Adora fall to her death, but then - it's OK, she just fell flat on her back, back onto the iron sheet. Adora is laughing hard, wheezing almost. The metal beneath her clatters.

"You stupid, fucking idiot!" Catra yells but Adora only laughs harder.

"Aww Catra, were you worried I would fall?"

"Can you blame me? Idiot." Her heart is racing about a million miles an hour. She should never have brought her here. How can she be so clumsy?

"Hey, hey, it's OK. I'm good." Adora jumps back up, pulls off the other boot and takes off her leggings, surprisingly smoothly. "Come here," she smiles.

Catra pulls off her own shirt and leggings and walks carefully to her. Adora takes Catra's hand and then kneels, gently pulling Catra with her onto the jacket. They shuffle closer until they're chest to chest. Catra can feel Adora's hands around her back holding her lightly, but she's kissing her hard. Catra kisses her harder, and they lay down together, stomach to stomach, thigh to thigh, arching together, skin to skin, nestling into each other. Catra is purring. It's so quiet here. Only very distant clanging noises and the whistle of the wind.

Then Adora rolls and gently moves on top of her, her thigh between Catra's legs. Adora is blushing; Catra loves the curve of her smile.

"Er, Catra…" Adora starts. "I've never done this before so... you just tell me if it's OK, right? Tell me if you want me to stop?"

"Of course, dummy. I'll just say red if I need you to stop."

"Bread?"

Catra stares at her in confusion. "Bread?"

"Bread to stop?"

"What? No! Have you been hearing bread all this time?" She laughs… she can't believe it. No way. "It's red to stop. Like in training. The colour red."

Adora thinks about it. "That makes way more sense," she says.

"Yeah, it does," Catra can't stop laughing. "Adora, how have you survived this long? Bread?"

Adora is grinning her sheepish, stupid grin. Catra can't believe everyone thinks Adora is so smart. Catra knows she is, Adora is incredibly smart even, she gets top marks in everything, always… but somehow she's also just such a dumbass.

"You're just too much, Adora," says Catra, nuzzling into her. "Too much. Bread. Honestly. Isn't that some kind of Princess food?"

Adora giggles. "Well, if you want to stop, you just say bread or red or whatever."

Catra closes her eyes. "I'll say red," she clarifies.

"OK, good plan." says Adora. "Ready?"

Catra isn't sure she's going to be able to stop giggling. Adora makes her laugh literally all the time. She should have known that even this would be hilarious.

But then Adora is kissing her again and all other thoughts fade out. She kisses slowly along the top of Catra's chest. She trails her hand so lightly over her stomach, then up again and under her bra.

Catra gasps a little at the cool touch, but Adora's fingers are very gentle, she cups her whole hand right around her boob, like she just fits. As she kisses, she is moving her hip against Catra, her leg is rubbing between Catra's, and Catra feels it, really feels it - she's melting. Their kiss deepens somehow.

The jacket beneath Catra is soft, it smells clean and fresh but there's also a faint trace of Adora's sweat and that stupid aftershave stuff Rogelio gave her. Catra is a little squashed but this… this is perfect. She is surrounded by Adora. She has never felt so comfortable or relaxed and something is new, something in her is longing… desperate. She wants every moment to last but she also wants more.

Adora's skin is so soft and cool against her, she's so close she can see all the goosebumps along her arms.

"You're cold?" Catra asks.

"It's freezing up here," laughs Adora. "But I'm fine. I've got you." And she cuddles back into her.

They kiss. It feels like there's no rush, for once. There's just them. Catra lets her fingers slide up and down Adora's back, massaging her, finding her muscles and the little gaps between her ribs. Adora gasps a little.

"Catra," she says again.

Then she's pulling gently at Catra's bra and Catra pulls it over her head. She helps Adora out of hers. Adora sighs. "You're so beautiful," she murmurs. "So, so beautiful."

And then she's kissing Catra's breast and Catra gasps, it's too much, she's too sensitive, but she licks at Adora's nipple instead, she sucks her hard and Adora is gently pushing against her, pushing her whole boob against her face.

"Oh my god," says Adora.

"Good?" asks Catra.

"So good," gasps Adora. "Oh my god."

Catra keeps sucking her nipple, holding Adora to her. And then Adora pulls back gently. She is decorating Catra with kisses along her chest, her stomach, down to her hips. She's tugging at Catra's pants and Catra laughs and wiggles her hips.

"Oh, that's what you're after is it?"

"Yes!"

"Adora! That's pretty forward of you."

Adora grins. Then she slides both her hands under Catra, right into her pants and holds her butt.

"Adora!" Catra laughs.

They look at each other for just a moment longer. Catra smiles and Adora is grinning right back at her. And then Adora is pulling her pants down, she is kissing her, sucking her, licking her, sticking her tongue all the way inside her and it's better than Catra ever imagined, so much better than alone with her finger, she's can't believe this is happening but it is and with Adora, the one she has been dreaming of for so long.

Catra closes her eyes, she's concentrating so hard on not baring her claws and tearing Adora's jacket to shreds beneath her. Adora is doing something else, she doesn't know what exactly she's doing but it feels amazing. She's rubbing her clit, her fingers are… somewhere.

"Adora," she whispers, "Adora."

"Yes?" Adora pauses.

"No... Adora... Don't stop, please - "

"Oh sorry! You want some more?"

"Yes?"

"Right now?"

"Adora! Stop teasing!" Catra opens one eye and scowls.

Adora giggles and then moves her head down and starts again. Softer at first but then steady… so steady… she’s using her tongue… her fingers… Catra sinks back.

The night sky is darkening. Catra gasps - she can’t - she feels a shiver all the way through. She wanted this so much and it’s everything - so different and yet - just what she wanted.

"Adora - fuck me. Fuck me, please." She doesn't even know what she's saying but this can't stop, it has to be this... "Adora, you're so hot... I… I love you... I love you so much."

It sounds like Adora tries to say "I love you too Catra," but of course, it's muffled - she's such an idiot - but she's moving faster, her fingers, her tongue... it's... it's... Catra moans, she is panting so hard... "Adora!" she gasps, "Adora!" And then she's shaking and twitching and something in her seems to give and she's fading... fading....

Part of her wants to curl up and sleep but the other half is completely energised. She has to do that, she has to make Adora feel that, she springs up and pushes Adora down so hard that her girlfriend has that beautifully stupid, confused look on her face. But not for long because Catra is kissing her harder than she has ever done before, she is squeezing her boob and leaning into her.

"Oh my god…" Adora murmurs, "Catra, oh my god -"

But Catra isn't done, she's rocking against her, she bites gently at Adora's neck, at her breast, her stomach, her thigh and Adora is quivering, she's so wet down there, Catra licks her slowly, so slowly, so slowly…

Adora is gasping, she is clutching her so hard -

"Catra," she begs, "Catra please… please!"

But Catra is hovering her tongue above her… licking so gently, barely touching..

"Catra!" Adora yells.

And she slides her tongue inside. Adora lies back with a little gasp and Catra pushes her tongue in and in and in, into the warm. One hand is on Adora's thigh, the other gently resting on her stomach, which is clenching. She tastes like nothing Catra has tasted before, but it's Adora, it's her and she just loves her so much.

She slides her fingers in and tries to get a rhythm, tries to build her up like Adora did to her, she hopes it feels half as good. Adora is moaning her name, it's so hot, Catra can't help but rub a little on Adora's leg. She's still so warm and wet down there and everything just feels a million times more somehow. She pushes into Adora slowly and hears Adora whimpering in a way she has never done before.

"Adora," she laughs and Adora is laughing too.

"I'm sorry," she says, "it's just so good... So, so good."

"Don't be sorry, idiot," Catra smirks. "You make whatever noises you like. It's hot."

Adora giggles, then gasps."Oh my god," she moans, louder than before, "how are you doing this, what are you doing, did it feel like this for you, this is so good -"

"Shut up, Adora," Catra smiles, then kisses her, pushing her fingers deeper into her, watching her beautiful blushing face, feeling as she clenches around her fingers.

They move together. They give each other as much as they can give. They keep going, until the sky is properly black, until they can look up into nothing, an infinite black space just for them. They can't stop, they let themselves have whatever this is, whatever is making them feel so, so good, whatever they can give each other.

And then finally, one last time, Adora is holding her and whispering, "stop, stop, I'm good." She's shivering, so Catra tries to keep as much of her hot skin against her - she should have brought a blanket - next time she'll bring a blanket.

The wind is whistling and the metal ledge is swaying a little beneath them.

"We should climb down,'' Catra says eventually.

"No…" says Adora, yawning. "No, best wait til the light. We can go in the morning."

Catra laughs. "You want to sleep up here? You'll freeze!"

"I don't mind," says Adora dozily. "I'm going to stay here forever."

"Forever?" asks Catra.

"Forever," agrees Adora.

But Catra pulls away. She's the one shaking now. The blackness isn't just in the sky, the infinite darkness is around them. The vision is glitching, fading…

"Fucking idiot. Did you just immediately forget or what?" she snarls.

"I had to leave the Horde," yells Adora. "I never wanted to leave you."

"You didn't have to, you chose to. Stop pretending like you were coerced. Stop pretending you're the victim here, poor me, poor little Princess, oh no, I just had to join them, oh no help me, not a tiara…"

Adora gapes at her.

"Just grow a backbone, Adora!" Catra groans. "At least admit you do what you want, to get what you want, and you don't care who you leave behind. You never cared who gets hurt, not really, not as long as someone is patting you on the head and telling you what a good little girl you are."

" I…" Adora fumbles. "I-"

She doesn't have a thing to say.

"Yeah, I thought so," says Catra. "Just didn't want to think about it, did you?" Is Adora crying? Pathetic. But her wide, baby eyes won't work on her anymore.

"I'm not - " Adora says. "I don't - I - Catra, please," she sobs.

"Let me out of here!"

"Catra - wait!"

But she's gone. Is she gone?

Adora stares into the silence. But there's no time, there's still the spiders… too many spiders. She has to help her, she has to-

"You have to let go," says Light Hope, mechanically, even as Adora gets back up to run after Catra. "Adora, you have to let go. "

Chapter Text

“Hey Adora,” Catra whispers, her voice scratchy and soft.

“Mmmm,” Adora moans sleepily. “What time is it?” Then suddenly she sits bolt upright, panicked. What time is it? Where is she? Where’s Catra? She’s not at the foot of her bed! Adora hears a giggle from beside her. Catra has her head on their pillow. She’s laughing at Adora. She looks very snug, all tucked up in the blanket.

Adora lies back down and pulls Catra close. She tucks Catra’s hair back under her mask, then kisses her gently on the nose.

“I forgot we get to sleep in on weekends now,” says Adora happily.

“Weekends in the Horde,” Catra laughs. “Only you would think of something crazy like that.”

Adora shrugs. “It was time for some changes around here.”

Catra grins. “I’d say so, Commander.”

Adora feels herself looking smug and she doesn’t even care. Catra’s head is on her shoulder. Adora slips her hand under Catra's pyjama top and runs her hand gently up and down her back until Catra is purring. Her fur is so soft. Adora breathes in her hair and it smells amazing. Something a little sweet, like that new vanilla shower cream Glimmer gave her.

“It’s 0800 hours,” yawns Catra, stretching.

“Oh, is it? And what’s on the schedule for today, Force Captain?” Adora smiles.

Catra bites her gently on the shoulder in response.

“Are you slacking there, Force Captain?” Adora scolds her. Catra bites harder. “Rack time needed ASAP,” Adora orders.

Catra bursts out laughing. “Idiot,” she says.

“Idiot?” says Adora, “would an idiot do THIS?” She rolls Catra in the blanket and tickles her. Catra squirms and wriggles as Adora rubs her belly and under her ribs where she is sensitive.

“Stop,” laughs Catra. “Stop. Red.”

Adora stops immediately.

Catra is shaking her head at her. “One day you are going to get so clawed and it won’t even be my fault. You can’t just try and tickle a cat. I’ve warned you.”

“Oh really?”

“Are you angling for some punishment?”

Adora grins. “Maybe.”

Catra bares her claws and then ever so lightly runs them down Adora’s back, the gentlest touch, lighter than a whisper. Then Catra leans forwards and kisses her. Adora kisses back. They’re together under their one, scratchy blanket, safe in their old bunk, which Adora had moved into her new room as soon as she became Commander.

They're kissing harder, Adora's hand is in her hair, they are skin to skin. Adora holds her so close and then they roll and Catra is on top, rubbing against her, pressing into her - they're still in their pyjamas but it won't be long…

There is a knock at the door. Catra squeaks and hides beneath the blanket. Adora laughs at her. “It’s ok Catra, no one cares any more. Can I let them in?”

Catra peeks out and nods.

“Come in!” yells Adora.

“Good morning, girls!” Shadow Weaver calls brightly. “I’ve brought you both some breakfast!” She is wheeling a trolley which is covered in a bright red and white checkered tablecloth. As well as two enormously full plates of food, there are two steaming coffee mugs and a little vase of daisies.

Adora hops out of bed. The concrete floor is cold so she slips her feet into some fluffy slippers. Not very Horde, but whatever, they're so soft. Maybe she should order more for the cadets. Sew the Horde insignia on them. Soldiers can have comfort too.

“Thanks, Shadow Weaver, this looks great!"

“Here Catra, this plate is for you," Shadow Weaver is saying. "Extra protein and not too much spice.”

“Aw, Shadow Weaver, you made smiley faces with the eggs and bacon!” Adora squeals, catching sight of the plates.

“Are… are you sure this is good?” says Catra uncertainly. “Isn’t this Princess food?”

“Yes, but this is really good, I promise,” says Adora. “This is bacon, which is good for stopping hunger and giving slow release energy, also muscle building. Then the waffles are more like fast burn energy, especially if you add the syrup which is intensely sweet. I love it. Peppers and tomatoes for vitamins and digestion… The eggs again for muscle building and low hunger- and coffee! Coffee is just… I don’t really know what it does… but it’s amazing.”

"You might like to try adding cream, Catra, I brought you a little jug," Shadow Weaver drawls. "You're welcome."

“Thanks, Shadow Weaver. I’ll try…” Catra sounds doubtful. She nibbles at a piece of bacon and her eyes light up.

“Ah you remembered, there's even a little side of ration bars for me!” Adora laughs. “Thanks Shadow Weaver! They are more nutritionally efficient after all.”

“You’re such a nerd,” snorts Catra.

“I’ll leave you two to it.” Shadow Weaver turns away. “Oh! I just remembered. Queen Angella and Princess Glimmer are coming at 4pm to see Princess Scorpia.”

“Of course, to help her connect to her runestone! Thanks for helping them with the Black Garnet, Shadow Weaver. It was good of you to give it up.”

“Of course,” says Shadow Weaver silkily. “It’s time for me to retire peacefully, now I know the Horde is in such good hands with you two.”

She leaves.

Catra stares after her. “Was she wearing a flowery apron?”

Adora laughs and nods.

“Wow,” says Catra. “She has been so different since you healed her with the sword.”

“Yeah, hasn’t she!” says Adora, hugging herself.

“And Hordak too. I heard he’s giving a tour of his sanctum experiments next week for any cadets interested in pursuing science.”

“Wow, that’s so great! Don’t let the food get cold though!”

Adora is ravenous, she is scoffing it all down. Catra picks and nibbles at her plate. She eats all her bacon first and Adora pretends she doesn’t see her eyeing hers. Catra leans away to examine her coffee and Adora piles three more rashers on her plate.

Catra smiles at her. A long, happy smile.

“Today is going to be a good day,” Adora announces.

Catra rolls her eyes. “Eurgh, did we have to make peace with the Princesses though? Glimmer is so annoying.”

“She is not.”

“At least Scorpia is happy now,” Catra purrs.

“You don’t think she’ll try and take over once she’s got her runestone powers?” Adora asks.

“Who Scorpia? I don’t think so. We could take her, easily. She’s just a big bug.”

“Yeah, she is.”

“Such a dumbface.”

“Yeah, such a dumbface!”

They laugh.

“It’s a beautiful dream, Adora,” Light Hope interrupts. “But you must let go.”

“No.”

“Your duty is to Etheria. You must balance the planet.”

“Why?”

“It is your destiny. This wish has no future.”

“I don’t care.”

“You must train. You must learn to balance the planet.”

“I don’t want to.”

“That is not relevant. The planet must be balanced. You must save Etheria.”

“Why?”

“It is your destiny. Your mission is to protect all of Etheria.”

“Well, that's not going to work,” Adora sighs. “I couldn't even protect Catra. I couldn’t protect Glimmer or Bow or Entrapta…”

“You must fix the planet.”

“Sure, why not,” says Adora. “Sounds fun.”

“Good,” says Light Hope. “This is good.”

But Adora lies there without moving. She feels heavy. She doesn’t want to get up. Not yet. Just five more minutes. Maybe she’ll just dream a little longer.

“Hey Adora,” Catra whispers. Her voice scratchy and soft.

“Adora, you are the first She-Ra in a thousand years,” barks Light Hope. “You must train.”

“What’s the point?” says Adora quietly.

“I do not understand. What is your query?”

“Why can’t I just heal my friends?”

“She-Ra will be able to heal many things.” says Light Hope evenly.

“Can you teach me to heal everyone?” Adora sits up.

“Yes.”

“Today?” Adora smiles.

“Training will take many years.”

Adora lies back down, her smile gone. She just wants to go home.

“Hey Adora,” Catra whispers. Her voice scratchy and soft.

“Mmmm,” Adora moans sleepily. “What time is it?”

“Adora!” says Light Hope. “You must stop this. You must train.”

Then suddenly Adora sits bolt upright, panicked. What time is it? Where is she? Where’s Catra? She’s not at the foot of her bed! Adora hears a giggle from beside her. Catra has her head on their pillow. She’s laughing at Adora. She looks very snug, all tucked up in the blanket.

“You must balance the planet,” Light Hope insists.

Adora lies back down and pulls Catra close. She tucks Catra’s hair back under her mask then kisses her gently on the nose.

She knows she's just dreaming but she feels so warm. There's a part of her that is guilty, anxious, jittery… but she doesn't want to listen to that part right now. She's done. She's tired. She can just lie here in the Crystal Castle and live this dream. Her imagination is stronger here, it's like everything she ever hoped for is being projected around her. She doesn't want to get up. Five more minutes.

“Hey Adora,” Catra whispers. Her voice scratchy and soft.

“Mmmm,” Adora moans sleepily.

Catra bares her claws and then ever so lightly runs them down Adora’s back, the gentlest touch, lighter than a whisper. Then Catra leans forwards and kisses her. Adora kisses back. They’re together under their one, scratchy blanket, safe in their old bunk, which Adora had moved into her new room as soon as she became Commander.

"You fixed everything," Catra whispers.

"I'm so sorry it took so long," Adora apologises. "I'm such an idiot,"

"Yeah, you really are," laughs Catra. "But I love you."

"I love you too. I did it all for you,"

"I know you did," Catra nuzzles into her.

Then, they're kissing harder, Adora's hand is in her hair, they are skin to skin, Adora holds her so close and then they roll and Catra is on top, rubbing against her, pressing into her - they're still in their pyjamas but it won't be long…

Adora shivers. Someone is calling her name.

"Adora! Adora!"

Is it Catra? It doesn't sound like Catra. Just ignore it.

“Hey Adora,” Catra whispers. Her voice scratchy and soft.

"Adora!" The voice is insistent. "You have to wake up!"

“Mmmm, five more minutes,” Adora moans sleepily.

"Adora, look at me. You've been here too long. You're getting lost here."

Adora peeks her eyes open. This dream is getting weird. There's some kind of rainbow horse trying to talk to her.

"I like it here," she says.

"I know," says the horse. "I know you do. It's a beautiful dream. You deserve everything as nice as you can imagine. But it's not real. You can't stay here forever. You have to make it real out there."

"I can't," Adora whispers. "I don't know how."

"Well then you have to figure it out or find a new dream."

"No," Adora sobs. " Please just let me stay. Light Hope will teach me how to make the sword fix everything. Just five more minutes."

"That's not how it works," says the horse softly. "You can't use the sword to fix people to be what you want them to be. If they don't want what you want, that's their choice and if you used the sword to change that… well, that's pretty awful, Adora."

Adora doesn't say anything. Then - "I hate this," she says. "I hate it. Everything is wrong, but I could make it better. I just want to help. I just need to fix Glimmer and then the Horde. I can fix it."

"I know you want to help," says the horse. "But you don't know everything. You can't control everything. If you take away their voice and only ever do what you think is best… you're destroying who they are."

"But people are getting hurt… I need to protect them."

"Are you really protecting them or just trying to justify yourself? Are you giving them the tools to protect themselves or just making them dependent on you? "

Adora cries. "I…I don't know, I just want everything to be good. I just want to help."

"Help or control?"

"Help."

"OK then. You can help the people who are actually asking you for help. Bow and Glimmer have been trying to wake you up for hours. They need you."

"They have?"

"Yes, I've only just figured out how to reach you. They're worried out of their minds."

"I've been unconscious all this time?"

"Adora, you've been missing for days."

"I have?" She blushes. "Oh god, that's so embarrassing."

"It's OK Adora, you needed time. You needed a break. You needed to process. But we're here to try and help you. This dream… it's not real."

"It feels real."

"I know."

Adora pauses. "Who are you?" she asks.

"Finally! My name is Swift Wind! Your loyal steed."

"Horsey?" Adora says uncertainly.

"I named myself Swift Wind, after the Swift Winds of revolution."

"Oh yeah… I forgot, sorry. Nice to meet you, Swift Wind. Are… do all horses talk?"

"Not yet! You transformed me with the sword, remember?"

"Sorry," says Adora cringing. "I didn't mean to, I should have asked… I didn't mean to frighten you. I never know what I'm doing. Sorry."

"It's OK Adora, I wouldn't go back for anything. And from what Bow and Glimmer tell me, you've done a huge amount of good already. You should be proud of yourself, Adora."

Adora shrugs. "Most of that was She-Ra. Or other people helping me."

"So?"

Adora shrugs.

"Adora, you gave me my voice. I will always be grateful for that. You walked away from the Horde. I know it's not easy but I'm here to help you figure it out, to help you keep going, to train and to become the best Adora and the best She-Ra you can be. Just like you can help me become the best Swift Wind I can be. If you want that. I can promise you it will be a lot more satisfying than being comfortable here daydreaming forever."

Adora sighs. "OK."

"OK?"

"Yeah. Sorry."

"Don't be sorry for taking time for yourself. That's always important. But just know that you're needed out there too. And not just as She-Ra. Bow and Glimmer miss their friend, they're worried about you."

"Light Hope told me to let go. She said I needed to forget everyone else and stay here and train. At the moment I just hurt people. I have to let go of them and learn to be better."

"Well, that's just stupid. You can't learn to be a better friend on your own. What good is all your power if you don't use it to help the people that you love?"

Adora considers.

"...I'm not Mara," she says finally. "I'm not the She-Ras of the past. I didn't do this to fulfill some destiny. I became She-Ra to help others. My attachments, my friends, are a part of who I am."

Swift wind looks at her. "So. Are you staying? Or going?"

"Let's go. Just one second. I'll… just say goodbye."

Swift Wind nods and disappears.

"I love you," Adora whispers to the void. "But I can't force you to love me. I can't change you even when you are being a stupid little shit -" she sighs. "Even when you choose the Horde over everything else you could have. I'm just an idiot who has to figure out what I want and what I'm doing. And you have to do that for yourself too. I loved you so much. But I will let you go."

She opens her eyes to Bow and Glimmer, crying and holding her.

"Adora, you're back!" yells Glimmer.

"Adora, spiders!" shouts Bow.

Spiders she can handle.

She lifts the sword. "For the honour of Greyskull," she shouts. Swift wind neighs alongside her. They've got this.

Chapter Text

Adora slips back into her bedroom and goes to stand by her waterfall. It's cool and quiet here, unlike the banquet hall. The Princesses have been celebrating for hours. They successfully defended Bright Moon and the battle is over. The Horde tanks and artillery retreated. The damage was substantial but will be easily repaired.

Adora sighs heavily. How many injuries? How many deaths? Brightmoon was protected by magic so their casualties are at a minimum. They didn't even have to call upon their infantry. But the other side? The Horde will never release information about losses so it's a little too easy to forget; it makes Adora feel uncomfortable to be celebrating so hard without even acknowledging this.

The Princesses are still dancing down there, still singing… there has been feasting and merriment all night. And it has been fun, it really has. Her relief was so strong, it was a little intoxicating: Bright Moon did not fall. They worked together and the magic between them all felt strong and good. She fulfilled her promise, her duty: she protected them.

So why does she still feel like a failure? She's claustrophobic somehow, even in all this space. She pulls off her jacket and tosses it on the bed. She stares at the red fabric. The one she can't bear to throw out, even though Glimmer keeps asking.

It wasn't very long ago that Adora woke up every morning and chose the Horde, lived for the glory and the fight. And then she was given the sword - her chance to escape. She didn't earn it, didn't deserve it, but she took it. She's no better than the soldiers she fought today. How many of them would have defected if they had had the chance? This victory is hollow. The Horde soldiers are still afraid of magic and Princesses. And rightly so.

They fight for what they know: their drills, their routines, their teammates... the ambitious efficiency of the Horde. These things are good. The beauty of the Fright Zone on a warm clear night. The companionship of the barracks. And Bright Moon does very little to reassure them that there is a better way of doing things. Should Adora be trying to bridge the gap? Talking to those she left behind? How can she do that when she still feels so much shame? She pulls her shirt off and dumps it on the floor.

She has become exactly what she was always taught was wrong… a lazy, soft, spoilt, traitorous princess, a violent magical being barely in control of her powers. She never thought she'd be on this side, that it could happen to her. She worked so hard and yet… here she is. She feels like she's splitting, as though she just skipped through time, woke up here straight from years ago and now her childhood self is reeling from the disparity.

They're all Etherians. They've started from the same place. So why fight? Who started it? Who is continuing it? Lord Hordak has a lot to answer for. How could they ever negotiate peace with him without compromising values like freedom, kindness, respect for each other? But are they already compromising all those things? Becoming exactly the enemy Lord Hordak says they are?

Why does she still call him that? Everyone else here just says Hordak. She can't undo the years of seeing things his way overnight. His desire for order, conformity, sacrifice. His desire for an empire that wipes out all choice, all difference.

But she can try. She has to learn to change, to find herself. Adora fiddles with the skin around her fingernails. It's OK, she's doing well so far. She has come a long way and of course it's going to be confusing. Lonely. It was tough today.

She sighs. Catra must have really risen through the ranks quickly. She was leading that battle, wasn't she? When did that happen? Where was Shadow Weaver? Has she been demoted... removed? Lord Hordak - just Hordak - does not tolerate failure. Every member of the Horde is disposable, in a way she now understands is not acceptable, even if they are sworn soldiers.

Is Catra being punished out there somewhere suffering in agony? Is she already dead, sent to Beast Island… an example of one too ambitious, who climbed too high and too quickly with no solid foundation... and nothing to break her fall…

Or is she celebrating too? Hordak will probably spin the battle of Bright Moon as a victory: the Horde's greatest incursion into Princess territory yet. Perhaps tonight they are all drinking and marching and saluting the martyrs. She can imagine Catra enjoying herself with Scorpia and Lonnie and Rogelio and Kyle… Adora hates not knowing! She kicks off her boots and peels off her leggings.

It's no good worrying. She's tired. She should rest. There's nothing more she can do tonight. They've maintained Brightmoon as a safe space. The problem of how to save those who are both aggressors and victims is for tomorrow. The system is wholly, deeply broken and can't be fixed in one night.

She should just go to bed. Adora sighs. What does she want? What does she need? Bow keeps telling her she's allowed to ask these questions. She can't spend every moment worrying. She's tired. Her muscles ache. She wants to relax. Sleep deeply. Wake refreshed with energy to keep going, keep figuring this all out.

She sits on the edge of her bed and starts to massage her feet. She's very stiff. It's strange, there's a sort of phantom pain from any hit she took as She-Ra. It's hard to know how to release and work out sore muscles when they're doubling over each other in ways that are hard to pinpoint.

She does her best, stretching everything out, pulling her toes, rotating her ankles, pinching and rolling out her calves, her thighs. She moves her hips, hearing them click, then stretches out her back and shoulders, pinches and massages her arms, rubs her neck and the tension in her jaw.

She stretches her whole body. One of them, anyway. She still feels hot and restless. She removes her underwear and lies down naked on the cool, stone floor. The waterfall is pouring down. No need to think, just listen to the water. Feel the soothing, solid ground beneath her. Smell that flowery Bright Moon scent that floats up from the gardens below.

But still it hasn't worked, she's still uncomfortable. She tries to relax, to breathe slowly, let the day go. Her neck is so stiff. There's a sharp pain in one of her shoulders and she tries to roll it out. She's still hurting, somewhere. She sits up and then looks towards the wall where she leant her sword earlier. She pauses, then stands and walks to it. She holds it, gently. There's no danger, no-one to rescue, no enemies to strike. Will it work?

"For the honour of Greyskull," she breathes and her body changes… grows. She can't resist a grin, she's smiling 100% genuinely for the first time all night. Naked She-Ra. She didn't know she could do this.

She still feels oddly doubled, like the muscles she just rubbed down as Adora are there somewhere, but She-Ra has her own aches. The sensation of burning healing is stronger in this form, the ghost of her injuries fading, her wounds knitting together.

Best start over. She rubs her feet, her calves, rolling out her tension deftly, her quads, her glutes… she bends and stretches out her legs, arms, shoulders, back... She moves slowly, carefully, exploring her range, her flexibility… She-Ra is strong and humming with magic but Adora is still there somehow too, her Horde training muscle memory still strong.

She steps through her sparring positions, her well worn cool down routine, then sinks to the floor. Her breathing is elevated, her cheeks red and hot against the cold stone. She lifts her hands and starts to massage her own head.

She has never been good at relaxing. But today… today they won. Today she protected Bright Moon, just as she promised. She wasn't alone, she didn't fail, she felt good and strong and part of a team of such beautiful, kind people who give her so much joy. People who see her.

She lets her hands wander over She-Ra's breasts, her stomach, her hips. She likes this form but it still feels somehow strange, more distant than her normal Adora body. She squeezes her breast and tries to savour the feeling… she's tingling with magic and she feels somehow more alive in a way that is difficult to describe. She feels sharper, like every colour is a little more saturated. She feels the slightest movement around her, the way the wind rushes through the window to lift her hair, the slow, subtle fading of the evening light, the rumble of the distant music and chatter from the grounds. Her lungs expand, she tastes the air with every breath.

She wants… she blushes… she knows what she wants. She wants that feeling. The kind Catra knew exactly how to give her. The dreamy nowhere. But she doesn't need to wait for someone else. She can give herself pleasure. She lets her hand wander down to She-Ra's cunt and feels that she is wet. Curiously she touches herself and then brings her fingers to her mouth, tasting, sucking... her fingers become wet, slippery… she lets them lower, she starts to touch, she rubs her clit slowly, rhymically, lovingly, urgently…

She feels herself blushing, she is hot all over, but she's OK, she's safe. She's alone, but she's no longer afraid of her huge, luxurious, soft bedroom. It's OK. She can take time for herself. She did good today and she deserves rest and pleasure, just like everyone else.

She works her fingers harder and feels herself clenching… why did she never do this before? She slips her fingers inside and pauses, marvelling at the sensation. Before, she always had to hide, sneak away to steal time away with Catra or Mermista or Entrapta, always as Adora, never as She-Ra.

She-Ra had felt like a calling, a profession, a tool… but she's more than that… more intimate, more everything. It's her. All her. A new part of her that she found somehow. Her skin, her body, her mind - she gasps as her fingers press further inside herself and she arches away from the cold floor, her skin so hot, she's panting, moaning...

She is She-Ra and Adora and she still has so much to learn about both these selves and what they can do, what they like, who they are. She closes her eyes and tries to feel only, to be at peace with this body, give this body something back for everything it does for her.

Fuck. She had no idea she could do this to herself. She's somewhere else entirely. And it feels so, so good. She rubs harder, moves her hips up into her fingers, the other hand moving across her breasts, stroking, squeezing, pressing herself down into the cold floor, her own hand running through her hair... She puts her own fingers in her mouth and bites hard…

The thought of Catra feels very close but is no longer an insistent presence. She can let it pass. She is here alone with herself, doing this for herself and no-one else. Fuck, she swears again, Fuck. She scratches her own nails down her torso, feels the way she is desperate for more, she's so wet, she rubs her clit, presses her fingers against herself, catches herself between her fingers, she's so close… so close and the pleasure is so intense, so everywhere…

She changes back to Adora and for once it's not the ghost of pain she carries but delicious echoes of rolling pleasure, so intense her toes are curling, she's gasping… she's breathing weirdly… she can't... She moans deeply.

She hugs herself close and feels the lumps of Adora's scars back on her skin but there's no shame, she just wants to make this body feel good too. She lets her hands explore all over again. This body is the same and yet different. Smaller, leaner but still toned, still curved in the same places. Her nipples are so sensitive. She jumps as she brushes her own hand past her stomach and down her thighs. She has so much to learn.

She hasn't touched the toy Entrapta gave her for a long time. She hasn't been able to think about it without a sharp, stabbing guilt and sadness but now… it feels OK. Entrapta gave it to her as a gift. She taught her how to use it, how to find the pleasure in it. The thought of Entrapta is still painful… but she can honour the good and the beauty in her memories. Entrapta delighted in this. This is good. Time is so short and there are so few good days, sometimes they're over before you know it.

Adora smiles to herself at the thought of whipped cream and wonders if she dares sneak down to the kitchens. Maybe not tonight but sometime… she giggles.

She's so sweaty, she slips a little as she pushes herself up from the smooth floor and tries to stand. She giggles as she finds her balance and for just a moment she wishes someone else were here to laugh with her. But it's OK, that will happen again if she wants it. And in the meantime, she is having an excellent night. Being alone isn't tragic or scary. She's just here with herself. Her horny, horny self, she thinks, chuckling quietly.

She fetches the toy and a little oil. She lies down on her bed and cuddles herself in her blanket. She lays the toy on her clit and presses it gently against herself. No need to rush. It feels so smooth in her hand. She presses again and again and again and then finally… she turns it on. It vibrates through her and she moans, pressing harder.

When she can't take any more she turns it off then puts it in her mouth getting it wet all over, then she thrusts it into her cunt, gasping a little and closing her eyes as it slides all the way inside. She thrusts it in and out, firmly pounding, pushing herself, pounding over and over, harder and deeper and then finally she turns it on again and has to grab the edge of the cot as the toy makes her twitch and groan and press her thighs together. She rubs it into herself, rocking her hips, clenching her cunt around it, pushing it further in, holding it deep until she is gasping, panting, moaning and the toy just keeps buzzing in exactly the right way.

She lets herself build, harder, she's pushing against the toy, holding it deep inside and then she leans across and lightly brushes her sword with one finger. "For the honour of greyskull," she whispers and She-Ra is back, the magic is back, she drops the sword and it clatters noisily on the floor as everything is heightened. She grabs the toy and turns it up to the maximum setting, she jams it back inside herself, and somehow everything feels deeper and thicker and just… more. She whimpers, she isn't sure she can take it... but oh god… it's so good. It's so fucking good.

Chapter Text

The forest is overrun with bots. She-Ra can hear them clanking, nearer and nearer. There must be multitudes of them: their legs slam into the ground so often there is a metallic rumble like distant thunder. The earth is juddering slightly beneath her. She-Ra breathes slowly, watching the next wave approach. She will stop them. She has to.

She leaps, she swings the sword, she stabs into metal casing after metal casing, each crushing impact rattling through her whole arm. She winces at the screech of torn metal. It's giving her a headache. The bots are falling beneath her blade, some jittering, some cycling their legs in the air like overturned beetles. She's hungry; she has been at this for hours. But they just keep coming.

Surely, there can't be many more? She is exhausted. Her sword has been misbehaving all day, which makes it so much harder. She has been trying to rotate through tools and weapons. She has done the whip, the javelin and next she really wanted to try a mace but it's just not responding. She shakes it in frustration, although that has literally never helped, and finds herself waving a spatula.

Adora swears. Why does it keep rotating through the contents of kitchen cupboards? She can take down a bot with an egg timer if she has to, but it's not easy.

A bot is upon her. She leans back then lances the spatula as hard as she can. It embeds in the bot's eye and the machine creaks, gurgles then wholly collapses.

Adora leans forward on her thighs, panting. The ground is swaying a little in front of her as her ears ring. The sweat is dripping into her eyes. She rubs them though it doesn't do much good, her hands are just as sweaty.

It takes a while to catch her breath. But there are more bots on the horizon. Adora groans and starts to try pulling the spatula back out of the last one.

"Hey, Adora."

Adora spins around. Catra is stood, not far away, on a little, rising knoll in the forest floor. She's smirking. Her hair is blowing slightly in the breeze. Her hand is on her hip. Adora wishes... Nevermind.

She scowls. "Hey, Catra," she says stiffly.

"Wow, so grumpy today," Catra laughs. She jumps down and then pauses. They look at one another, warily. Catra steps lightly to the side. Adora does the same, matching her pace. They circle one another.

"Sad because you're losing?" Catra says, almost sympathetically.

"I'm not losing," says Adora quickly.

"Oh that's right... You already lost everything. Your home, your friends, your career. Your... " She leaves the last word hanging but ever so slightly tilts her hip to the side as though posing herself.

Adora freezes but before she can react, Catra has jumped forward and leaned in.

"You sold out." Her breath tickles her ear. Adora swings around but Catra has already leapt back out of reach.

Adora needs to stay calm. She watches, waiting for the next attack. Catra sighs and stretches slowly. She is standing right in the streaming sun so she looks almost soft in the warm light. She smiles at Adora and bites her lip.

Adora stops. What the fuck is this? Just ignore her. She turns back to the bot and yanks hard, again and again, finally managing to wiggle the spatula free. She grins grimly and turns back to Catra.

"What happened to your sword?" Catra scoffs.

Adora doesn't answer. She is willing it to change... Think of the sword. Concentrate. Sword. It flickers. It stretches, becoming long and - Adora cringes. It's very phallic. It looks like one of Entrapta's toys. There's a very faint sword design on the side.

Adora swears as Catra doubles over with laughter. She's blushing hard. She shakes it vigorously but it only turns back into the spatula.

"Oh Adora," sighs Catra. She walks away.

Adora wields the spatula, slicing it through the air vigorously. Slash. Slash. Slash. Finally, finally, it turns back into the sword. But Catra is getting away. Adora runs after her, her hands sweaty on the hilt, her eyes roving, searching for any signs of danger or approaching bots. Her arms are aching. Catra is padding lightly away as though she hasn't a care in the world.

Some way ahead, Catra reaches a large oak tree and stops to rest her hand on the gnarled trunk. Then she turns back and stares at Adora, a gentle smile playing about her lips. What is she doing? Is she trying to confuse her? Trying to lure her into a trap? Adora waits, panting, each breath sounding strained as her lungs burn. The rumble of the bots seems very far away.

Catra hasn't dropped her gaze. Adora takes a step forward without thinking. Her eyes are so intense: Adora always forgets just how bright and deep they are. Blue and gold. Up close she can see every detail, how the gold iris looks molten, flecked with light. How the blue iris is a little darker on the outside, fading to a brilliant white around the pupil. It looks like some kind of precious gemstone.

Adora shakes herself. Focus. Don't get distracted.

But then Catra sighs and somehow manages to make it sound even more sensual than usual. She bites her lip a little. She rubs her face against her own arm, as though nuzzling, then closes her eyes. Adora can't breath.

Adora nearly puts her sword down before she remembers she is supposed to be defending the forest. Catra is a threat like any other, which needs to be disarmed. But Catra carries no weapon. Catra needs no weapon. Adora hesitates. Should she just run at her? Pin her down? Could she take her prisoner to Bright Moon?

"Adora," Catra moans. "What are you waiting for?"

She is now leaning back against the tree. Adora will not be manipulated like this. She jumps forwards, she towers over Catra, she raises the sword, she swings it down on her... but stops just before she makes contact.

Catra laughs. "I knew you couldn't do it." She tiptoes forward until her face is right beneath Adora's and then suddenly darts forwards and kisses her on the lips.

Adora drops the sword. She immediately reaches for Catra and pulls her close, holding her tightly around the waist. Catra is kissing roughly, Adora feels her tongue, she kisses back just as hard. And then Catra vanishes.

The forest fades.

"Fuck," Adora groans and falls to the floor. She's such an idiot. She can't do this.

Light Hope appears. "Adora -"

"I know! I know!" Adora has her face in her hands.

"Your performance has been steadily deteriorating all morning."

"Do you have to make her so..." Adora can't think of an appropriate word. She can think of a thousand words, but nothing that perfectly captures just what this Catra is doing to her.

"This programme is designed totally accuracy."

"I fucking wish," Adora mutters.

"You must try harder," says Light Hope.

And then immediately Catra reappears on top of Adora, pinning her.

"Light Hope," Adora groans. "What are you doing?"

"Who's Light Hope?" Catra scoffs.

They're so close, nose to nose. Catra even smells amazing. How is Light Hope doing this? Catra's hands are pressing hard into Adora's wrists, forcing them into the ground. She grins at Adora and Adora can't do anything. She just looks. She likes to look.

"You are distracted," Light Hope chides.

"Yeah..." says Adora dreamily. Then she coughs. "Yes, no - I mean... I'm working on it."

Catra is smirking at her, one eyebrow raised.

"Shut up!" says Adora.

"What? I didn't say anything," Catra runs her tongue over her teeth slowly. Adora follows the slightest movement, her mouth dry. Adora hasn't felt those lips in a long time. Catra liked it when she would bite her lower lip sometimes.

"Hey Adora," Catra chuckles.

"Catra," says Adora earnestly.

They lean further in, almost nose to nose. Adora licks her lips absentmindedly. Catra's lips are so close. They're so soft. Adora can feel her breath. They're breathing in sync. Catra opens her mouth just a little and Adora reaches forward -

"There has been a malfunction!" Light Hope declares. "You have done enough training for today. E-e-eexcellent work, Adora."

Catra is glitching on top of her. Adora watches her face flashing in and out of existence right in front of her. She leans back, her head heavy on the metal floor and sighs deeply.