Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

James entered the Gryffindor boys’ dormitory on September 3, 1977, and immediately joined Sirius, Remus, and Peter on Remus’ bed. “Lads, I’ve got a bit of a problem,” he announced.

Remus snorted and curled his legs to one side to make room for his friend. “And you’ve only just figured that out, eh?”

“Shove it, Remus,” James said, without heat. He buried a hand in his hair. “It’s about Lily.”

This time it was Sirius who snorted. “And you’ve only just figured that out?”

“Hey! This is a new problem!”

“Oh?” Sirius raised an eyebrow. It looked sort of comical, given that Sirius’ face was nearly upside-down to James, with his head in Remus’ lap. “Do tell.”

James scowled down at him. Now that it was time to explain himself, he realized his audience was not likely to appreciate the nuances of his dilemma. “Well,” he began, “I’d like to ask her out.”

Pete looked up from the magazine he’d been silently perusing and blinked. “Already? It’s only been two days.”

“This is definitely not a new problem, Prongs,” Remus added, smirking.

“It is . Things are different now.” At his friends’ dubious looks James clarified, “Between Lily and I.”

“Yes. You’re co-Heads now. And friends,” Remus agreed. He ran his fingers through Sirius’ hair, and Sirius closed his eyes and sighed contentedly. Remus smiled.

James scowled some more. The nerve of these tossers, sitting there all smug and happy with their advice as if James hadn’t talked each of them through many a similar crisis before they’d admitted how much they liked each other. Hmph . He took a deep breath. “Right.” He was proud of how calm his voice sounded. “And I want her to know I’m taking my responsibilities seriously.”

“Yes,” Remus repeated. “Which is why, when we had this conversation two days ago , you decided you were not going to ask her out this term.”

“I know!” James’ hand flew to his hair again, any semblance of calm tossed aside. “But that was before I saw her! Talked to her! Now that I have, I’m wondering, what if she wants me to ask her out? I swear she was flirting with me a bit at dinner. And we exchanged tons of letters this summer, you know.”

“Hmm,” Peter said, frowning thoughtfully. “Did she say she wants you to ask her out?”

“Well, no, of course not, Pete, girls don’t say things like that. But–”

Sirius cracked an eye open and looked at him shrewdly. “And if she says no, will you be able to work next to her as Head Boy all year and still be her friend? Without sulking?”

James huffed. “I wouldn’t sulk , I’d just–”

“Just leave it, Prongs,” Remus interrupted, shaking his head. He smoothed a hand over Sirius’ hair, and Sirius burrowed into his touch like a happy puppy. “Stick to the plan. Show her that you can work side-by-side with her without trying to get in her pants.”

“Fine. I won’t ask her out.” James jumped to his feet and pointed an accusatory finger at Remus. “But you know it’s never been about just getting into her pants.” He turned away from his friends and flopped down face-first on his own bed. His voice was muffled when he added, “It would be a lot easier if it were.”

Chapter Text

James entered the empty Charms classroom cautiously, unsure how his presence would be received. Unconsciously, he reached up to muss his hair before he cleared his throat and asked, "Alright, Evans?"

He could see Lily's shoulders heave with a sigh, which wasn’t the reaction he'd been hoping for, but at least she turned around to look at him. "I'm fine, Potter. You didn't have to come find me."

"Of course I did." He took two steps towards her but stopped before she was within arm's reach, his fingers twitching at his side. After that lukewarm greeting, he certainly wasn't going to touch her unless she gave him a clear sign that she wanted him to. "We're partners."

Lily's lips quirked in a self-deprecating smile. "That's part of why I'm so angry." Ouch, James thought, but then she clarified, "With myself, I mean. In my position, I can't afford to sink to their level."

James actually rocked back on his heels. "What? You did nothing wrong!"

Something like a chuckle slipped out of Lily's mouth. "I'm not sure Dumbledore agrees. Less than a week into term and the Head Girl gets into a food fight."

"He understands the circumstances, though," James argued. "You were only defending yourself."

"Yes, but Mulciber's weapons were just words. I'm the one who made it physical."

"You threw a pie, not a dagger or even a jinx. And the words he used–they're more than 'just words,' Evans, coming from him. He's furious that you've been made Head Girl. He thinks you don't belong at Hogwarts at all! They're not just harmless words." 

Lily's tone went flat in a way James didn’t care for at all. "Trust me, I know." She sighed and chewed her lower lip. "Still, I should've docked points from Slytherin, or given him detention with McGonagall. Anything but tossing a pumpkin pasty at his face. That was stupid."

"He deserved that and more."

"Maybe." She gave a small shrug and another big sigh. "The first few times people called me Mudblood" – James cringed at the word, but Lily kept talking – "after I knew what it meant, I mean, I was more shocked than anything. Shocked that people were so openly prejudiced and that they felt comfortable using this slur so casually. I didn't expect that when I first got here. But I'm not shocked anymore. Now, it just makes me angry ."

"Makes me angry, too. It's so wrong-headed and dangerous to all wizards, really." James took another step towards her, then paused and shook his head. She didn't need to hear from him how wrong Mulciber's views were – if anything, she knew it better than he did. He switched tacks, hoping to lighten the mood. "Well, I don't know if my word means much here, since I've never worried much about setting a good example, but I think you were brilliant down there. When he said–well, what he said, and you were all, 'At least I don't look like a giant prick with pumpkin all over my face.'" He mimicked her voice to make her smile, and it worked. "And then he said, 'I haven't got pumpkin on my face,' and then–"

"James, I was there," Lily interrupted, but she was still smiling. "But thank you. Your word means a lot, actually."

He did it, then, reached out and put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a side hug. She tilted her head back to look up at him, and her grin widened, and James thought, Next time I have to cast a Patronus, I'm going to think of that smile .

"I have to admit, flinging that pasty at him felt good," she said, bringing James back to the moment. "And I did enjoy that he didn't dispute that he is, in fact, a giant prick."

James burst into laughter. "How could he, honestly?"

Lily started laughing, too, and James soaked up the sound like a biscuit in a hot cup of tea. Truly, it was a wonder he didn't entirely dissolve into nothingness every time he was in Lily's presence.

"So, you're really alright, then?" he finally asked, after feasting on her enjoyment a minute longer. He gave her shoulders a little squeeze, and she leaned into his touch. He grinned. "More worried that your behavior was unbecoming of a Head Girl than about anything that oozing arse boil said?"

That earned him another laugh. "Yes. I'm fine, really."

"Well, good." He looked down at her and tried to look serious. "Then the only problem I see is that you wasted a good dessert."

Lily glanced at him out of the corners of her eyes, seemingly suppressing a smile of her own. "It's alright. I've never really been a fan of pumpkin, anyway."

"I know." James reached into the pocket of his robes and pulled out a small parcel wrapped in a napkin. "Here," he said, handing it to Lily.

She took it, her expression shifting from quizzical to delighted as she unwrapped the napkin and saw the pastries inside. "Are those–"

"Rhubarb turnovers, yeah. You like them, right?"

(They were her favorite, and he knew it.)

"I love them," she corrected. "Thank you.” Her expression softened. “And thanks for coming to find me. I’m glad I could talk about this with you.”

“Of course, Evans." James managed to keep his tone even, as if his heart hadn't just burst into song. "Like I said, we’re partners now.”

“Yeah.” There was a hint of wonder in Lily’s tone, but her smile was genuine. “We are.”