Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

[New Squidbeak Splatoon Server] (11:30 a.m.)

> RollingInkGirl has joined the game.

RollingInkGirl: Hey guys! Is anyone on here?

MCPrincess: Yo Callie

DJHyperfresh: Hey Callie! Pearl and I are at base rn

MCPrincess: Not doing much tbh, just adding a new room to our house

RollingInkGirl: Cool! I'm teleporting over to you now because I've got big news to tell!

MCPrincess: Can't you just tell us in the chat/

MCPrincess: *?

RollingInkGirl: I know but I just wanna see you guys avatar to avatar

DJHyperfresh: Fair enough I suppose 😕

RollingInkGirl: Hey girls! 😁

MCPrincess: S'up! ✌

DJHyperfresh: Hey Cal! 👋🏼 So what is it that you wanted to tell us?

RollingInkGirl: Oh yeah!

RollingInkGirl: So u guys know how me, Marie, and Captain 3 went to the Splatlands and discovered Alterna a while ago?

MCPrincess: Yep. And its still crazy to think there was a whole city there thDFRGFRYTK$WQSFHJJ

> MCPrincess was blown up by Creeper.

RollingInkGirl: Woah! tf did that creeper come??

MCPrincess: CALLIE MARINA PLS TELL ME YOU HAVE MY STUFF

DJHyperfresh: Don't worry Pearlie! I got them!

DJHyperfresh: Anyways, yeah. We knew about the Alterna thing since the Captain texted Eight about it literally a few days after you guys set up camp there.

MCPrincess: And how you guys met the new idol group Deep Cut and saved the world with them

MCPrincess: Which I might add is UNFAIR because I wanna save the world from a corrupt capitalist bear too! Its actually something that was on my bucket list!

RollingInkGirl: Don't worry I'm sure you two will be around to help stop the next world-ending villain!

DJHyperfresh: Uhm... I honestly hope there won't be a 'next world-ending villain'

DJHyperfresh: We already had to deal with the phone a few years ago and now we were recently under threat from a bear.

MCPrincess: True

RollingInkGirl: Agreed! Anyways the Captain Marie and I decided to invite Deep Cut and the New Agent 3 onto the server!

RollingInkGirl: We already asked if they played Minecraft and they said they did!

DJHyperfresh: Yay! New friends and building partners!

MCPrincess: And new people to prank!

DJHyperfresh: Pearl...

MCPrincess: C'mon Marina! I promise I'll go easy on them.

RollingInkGirl: Anyways, Captain wanted me to log on and put together a welcoming gift for the three of them.

DJHyperfresh: That sounds like a great idea! What are you guys gonna get them?

RollingInkGirl: Uhhh hold on, I remember I had a list somewhere

RollingInkGirl: Ah here it is! Captain told me to get them a standard starting kit for when they join the server.

RollingInkGirl: So we need 5 apples, 10 steaks, 1 wooden version of each tool and weapon, 1 iron version of each armor piece, and some flowers

MCPrincess: Why the flowers?

RollingInkGirl: So that they can have some nice decor for their first houses 😊

DJHyperfresh: Awww that sounds rly sweet. Is there anything we can do to help?

DJHyperfresh: We finished the renovations to our house before you got here so we have some free time before we need to leave for band practice.

RollingInkGirl: Oh sure! I could use the help

RollingInkGirl: Marina can you go get the apples and pick out the flowers? I know that you and Eight have a secret garden of them somewhere on the server

DJHyperfresh: Sure I can do that!

RollingInkGirl: And Pearl? Can you go get the steaks for the gift? I'll handle the tools and armor

MCPrincess: Sure thing! Nothing like some princess BBQ for a nice welcoming gift! Brb with the steak soon!

(11:45 a.m.)

> MCPrincess was slain by Spider.

DJHyperfresh: PEARL?!

MCPrincess: I'm fine! Just came across a cave and thought maybe some diamonds might make the gift more welcoming.

MCPrincess: I just didn't expect to get gang rushed by a bunch of skeletons and spiders!!!

RollingInkGirl: Oof

RollingInkGirl: Did you find any diamonds though?

MCPrincess: No but I did manage to find a lot of redstones

MCPrincess: Pretty sure I had like a stack of 30 of them before I died

MCPrincess: Imma go back and get them and my other stuff

DJHyperfresh: Alright but be careful and don't fight anything!

DJHyperfresh: Btw Callie I got the apples and flowers

DJHyperfresh: I didn't know what their favorite colors are so I just went with blue for Shiver, yellow for Frye, and red for Big Man.

RollingInkGirl: I'm sure they're gonna love them!

RollingInkGirl: Also I'm finished with one set of tools and armor.

RollingInkGirl: Why did I choose the hard task?? 😭

MCPrincess: F

DJHyperfresh: F

DJHyperfresh: Hang in there Callie, you're doing great. 👍🏼

(11:55 a.m.)

MCPrincess: IM BACK AND I GOTS THE REDSTONE

DJHyperfresh: Welcome back! I hope it wasn't too difficult getting back here...

MCPrincess: Wtf is up with those mobs?! I literally only have 2 and a half hearts left!

RollingInkGirl: Oof

RollingInkGirl: At least you made it! Also I'm finishing up the last set rn

MCPrincess: Nice 👍

MCPrincess: Also I put the steaks and redstones in your chest Callie, u r welcome

RollingInkGirl: Awesome! Deep Cut are gonna love this welcoming gift!!

MCPrincess: They better like it because I almost died twice to get those for them. Gonna go grab some food so I can heal up.

> SquidbeakCaptain has joined the game.

Squidbeak Captain: Hey girls. Just wanted to log on to see if y'all are doing o–

> MCPrincess was blown up by SquidbeakCaptain.

DJHyperfresh: Wth was that?! 😨

RollingInkGirl: Oh

RollingInkGirl: I think Three might've found a leftover prank from Pearl and Four's prank war from a month ago 😅

SquidbeakCaptain: Oh...

SquidbeakCaptain: Oops

MCPrincess: MY ROOM!!! THREE YOU AND FOUR R GONNA PAY FOR THIS!!!

DJHyperfresh: I thought Eight and Marie did a clean sweep of the server after their prank war?

RollingInkGirl: Idk I guess they missed a few 🤷♀️

MCPrincess: THREE WHERE R U?!

> SquidbeakCaptain has left the game.

MCPrincess: YOU COWARD!!!

RollingInkGirl: I have some spare blocks you can use to rebuild the room if you want.

DJHyperfresh: That would be appreciated, thank u Callie.

Chapter Text

[New Squidbeak Splatoon Server] (9:50 a.m.)

> MCPrincess has joined the game.

> DJHyperfresh has joined the game.

DJHyperfresh: Hey guys! Srry we're late!

MCPrincess: Had a long practice session with Damp Socks yesterday.

MCPrincess: Forgot to set an alarm.

RollingInkGirl: It's okay girls! We weren't really doing much just decorating the base for when Deep Cut get here.

DJHyperfresh: Oh wow! The place looks amazing!

AgentEight: Thanks Marina, Callie and I put in a lot of work into decorating.

420 Splat It: Quick question, when are Deep Cut getting here?

AgentEight: Around 10:30 a.m.

AgentEight: Captain said that they need to do their morning Anarchy Splatcast before they can have any free time.

420 Splat It: UUUUGH srsly?? We have to wait another half hour? 😩

MCPrincess: Yeah I agree with Four 👆

MCPrincess: I don't wanna wait another half hour for them to show up!

LowTideSnipe: You don't have to stay. You can just log off and do something else until it's time for them to get here.

RollingInkGirl: 👆

DJHyperfresh: 👆🏽

AgentEight: 👆

MCPrincess: Ugh fine!

MCPrincess: I'm gonna go play some Legend of Zelda until they get here.

MCPrincess: You better not forget to remind me Marina!

DJHyperfresh: Don't worry, I'll make sure to remind you Pearlie 👍🏽

420 Splat It: In that case, I'm gonna head to the Square and play a few rounds of Turf War.

420 Splat It: Later Eight 💛 Don't forget to remind me either!

AgentEight: ❤ Don't worry. Even if I forgot, Three will probably remind you himself

AgentEight: Uh the Captain Three

AgentEight: Not the new one 😅

420 Splat It: Lol okay. We'll see y'all later then!

> 420 Splat It has left the game.

> MCPrincess has left the game.

RollingInkGirl: Bye guys! See ya in a bit! 👋

CraigCuttlefish: Squids and octos these days, I tell ya what.

LowTideSnipe: Chill gramps. Not all of us have the same level of patience as you old folks.

CraigCuttlefish: I TAKE OFFENSE TO THAT

LowTideSnipe: Gramps, caps lock...

CraigCuttlefish: *I take offense to that

OctobotKing2.0: Hate to butt in, but wtf am I back on here?

OctobotKing2.0: Pretty sure I was blacklisted after the whole 'brainwashing Callie' thing.

RollingInkGirl: You were.

RollingInkGirl: BUT since you helped us defeat Mr. Grizz, we came together to discuss and decided to whitelist you again.

RollingInkGirl: BUT only this once! 😠

LowTideSnipe: Try anything else, the blacklisting is permanent this time.

AgentEight: If it makes you feel any better, we didn't touch your house or resources in any way while you were blacklisted.

OctobotKing2.0: ...It does make me feel better.

OctobotKing2.0: But I'm going to go make sure you're telling the truth!

OctobotKing2.0: After that I'm going fishing. I need some fish for this build I'm working on.

CraigCuttlefish: Can I come with? I need more fish because my food supply is running a little short.

OctobotKing2.0: ...Fine. Just don't get in my way and we're good!

LowTideSnipe: ...Still can't believe our gramps and Octavio are exes.

RollingInkGirl: Ugh! Don't remind me Marie! 🤢

DJHyperfresh: I was pretty surprised when I found out they were together.

DJHyperfresh: The history books and Octavio's autobiography didn't include their relationship anywhere.

LowTideSnipe: Would you want that kind of information about yourself documented and shown to the public? Your ex lover being part of the enemy faction that beat you?

AgentEight: That's... actually a fair point.

RollingInkGirl: Let's change the topic pls

RollingInkGirl: Marie, we had a mining trip planned today, remember?

LowTideSnipe: That's right. Let's go see if we can find anything good before the Captain and Deep Cut get here.

DJHyperfresh: Oh yeah! Eight we also have to go and check if the carrots in our secret garden have finished growing yet.

AgentEight: Y'know at this point our garden isn't even a secret anymore.

AgentEight: Everyone knows about it. They just can't find the location.

DJHyperfresh: Are you coming to check with me or not? 😒

AgentEight: Of course I'm coming along.

(10:15 a.m.)

RollingInkGirl: Ugh! We couldn't find anything at all!

LowTideSnipe: Technically we found a lot of iron and some redstones

LowTideSnipe: But I understand what you mean tho.

LowTideSnipe: Not a single diamond, gold, or anything in sight.

RollingInkGirl: At least we have more building material... I was really hoping for a diamond or two for this build I was planning though!

CraigCuttlefish: Ah you girls are back?

RollingInkGirl: Hey gramps... 🙁

LowTideSnipe: Yeah we didn't have any luck with mining today.

RollingInkGirl: How's the fishing?

CraigCuttlefish: Well...

OctobotKing2.0: OH COD FUCKING DAMNIT GIVE ME SOME FISH ALREADY!!! 🤬 🤬 🤬

CraigCuttlefish: Octavio hasn't been getting much luck. Mostly reeled in junk like lily pads and rotten flesh.

RollingInkGirl: Oh

CraigCuttlefish: My luck is only slightly better. Occasionally I'll fish up a cod or salmon, but it's mostly been bowls so far.

CraigCuttlefish: Seriously I have a 50 stack rn

LowTideSnipe: Holy shit gramps.

OctobotKing2.0: FUCKING HELL I BROKE ANOTHER FISHING ROD!!! FUCK THIS COD FUCKING GAME!!!

CraigCuttlefish: Didn't you have a fishing rod with Unbreaking and/or Mending tho?

OctobotKing2.0: I did but then I let Three borrow it for a while and HE WENT AND GOT HIMSELF KILLED SWIMMING IN LAVA AND LOST THE FISHING ROD!!!

RollingInkGirl: Oh yeah I remember now. That was before you got blacklisted.

AgentEight: Hey guys 👋 We're back from our 'not-really-a-secret' garden.

DJHyperfresh: And we brough plenty of fruits and veggies with us to share!

RollingInkGirl: Thanks you guys! 🥰

LowTideSnipe: Nice to know at least one group had some good luck...

DJHyperfresh: I'm guessing the mining and fishing didn't go as planned?

OctobotKing2.0: NEVER mention fishing in my presence ever again...

OctobotKing2.0: At least until I've crafted a new fishing rod and enchanted it...

AgentEight: Lol okay

AgentEight: Would a potato make you feel better?

OctobotKing2.0: ...Yes pls

> 420 Splat It has joined the game.

420 Splat It: Three messaged me in discord. Said he and Deep Cut will be joining soon.

DJHyperfresh: Oh! Thanks for telling us! I'm gonna text Pearl about it right now!

RollingInkGirl: We'd better go get the welcoming gifts then. C'mon Marie!

LowTideSnipe: Can't you just carry all the gifts yourself and hand it to them?

RollingInkGirl: Nope! We need to give them a proper welcome to our server!

RollingInkGirl: Now help me with the gifts!

LowTideSnipe: Fiiiiine... 😒

CraigCuttlefish: And what are we supposed to do?

RollingInkGirl: Oh! Uhm... you guys can just... keep doing whatever you're doing atm.

RollingInkGirl: We planned on doing a quick tour of the base after the welcoming party so maybe you guys can give a tour of your houses later?

CraigCuttlefish: Sure I don't mind.

OctobotKing2.0: Alright... just give me a few minutes to disable the security system I placed in my house.

AgentEight: You built a security system? 😐

OctobotKing2.0: Considering what happened to the fishing rod Three borrowed and how you all LOVE to take my stuff without asking sometimes, I took drastic measures.

420 Splat It: I remember that! Man, Pearl died so many times to the lasers you set up! 🤣

> MCPrincess has joined the game.

MCPrincess: Says the guy who kept falling for the dropping anvil trap!

420 Splat It: HEY! Didn't have to expose meclike that!

OctobotKing2.0: Glad to hear my traps actually worked.

RollingInkGirl: We're back~! Quick Marie, put the gifts inside!

LowTideSnipe: Gotcha 👌

MCPrincess: Wait...

MCPrincess: You're giving the gifts to them in SHULKER BOXES?!

RollingInkGirl: Uh yeah?

RollingInkGirl: The Captain actually had a few spare Shulker Boxes lying around in one of his storage chests and figured we'd give them to the newbies since he wasn't using them.

MCPrincess: ...

> MCPrincess was slain by RollingInkGirl.

OctobotKing2.0: HA!

420 Splat It: HOLY SHIT THAT WAS FUNNY! 🤣

RollingInkGirl: WHY DID YOU HIT ME?!

MCPrincess: HOW DID U SURVIVE EVEN THO I HIT YOU WAY MORE TIMES?!

LowTideSnipe: Well 1) she was wearing armor and you weren't.

DJHyperfresh: And 2) her weapon was stronger AND had some pretty powerful enchantments.

RollingInkGirl: BACK TO MY EARLIER QUESTION: WHY DID YOU HIT ME?!

MCPrincess: Bc Three had shulker boxes he wasn't using and he didn't think to, oh I don't know, GIVE THEM TO ANY OF US?!

RollingInkGirl: You never asked!

DJHyperfresh: Pearlie, calm down pls. We can always go to The End and search for some shulker boxes.

AgentEight: We had that resource-gathering session planned. Remember?

MCPrincess: ...Fine. I still can't believe Three had some lying around and didn't think to ask us if we wanted them...

MCPrincess: Giving them to the newbies instead...

RollingInkGirl: Just got a message from the Captain! They'll be joining us... now!

> SquidbeakCaptain has joined the game.

> TheEelDeal has joined the game.

> SharkBandit has joined the game.

> Big Man Time! has joined the game.

> The Fresher 3 has joined the game.

SquidbeakCaptain: I never agreed on that username for you, Neo Three.

The Fresher 3: Whatever, old man! My username, my choice!

420 Splat It: Haha, Three, you're an old man now 😝

SquidbeakCaptain: Says the guy who's willingly dating an old man.

420 Splat It: Hey!

AgentEight: Does that apply to me as well? 🥺

SquidbeakCaptain: No Eight you're good 💙

AgentEight: ❤

SharkBandit: Literally just logged on and already being smothered with PDA.

RollingInkGirl: OMIGOSH HEY DEEP CUT!!

Big Man Time!: Boss! Assistant Lady!

TheEelDeal: HOLY SHIT HEY CALLIE! ALSO ARE THOSE OFF THE HOOK I SEE?!

DJHyperfresh: Hey there! It's very nice to meet you all!

MCPrincess: S'up! I have a feeling we'll get along very nicely given the chaotic vibes y'all got going on!

SharkBandit: Considering how Deep Cut was on Team Chaos during the 'Chaos vs Order' Splatfest, obviously our vibes would be chaotic.

MCPrincess: Sweet! Always good to meet fellow lovers of chaos!

LowTideSnipe: Anyways, we got gifts for the four of you. Frye, Shiver, and Big Man, your gifts are these shulker boxes and the items inside them.

LowTideSnipe: Welcome to the server. 👍

TheEelDeal: YOOO SHULKER BOXES ON OUR FIRST DAY?! LETS GOOO!!!

SharkBandit: Very nice. I'll treasure this shulker box forever.

The Fresher 3: What do I get?

SquidbeakCaptain: Not to worry about that Neo 3. Four, Eight, and I actually banded together and made you a house as your welcoming gift.

SquidbeakCaptain: We'll show you to it during the tour of the base.

The Fresher 3: I get a house?! Sweet! 🤟

420 Splat It: Now that introductions are out of the way, can we show them around the place already?

420 Splat It: I have to grind up on the latest event of Pokémon Unite in like half an hour!

Big Man Time!: You play that game too, Four? What a surprise!

The Fresher 3: Sweet! Another pal for me to splat the competition with!

420 Splat It: Send me your friend codes later after this.

DJHyperfresh: Four has a point tho.

RollingInkGirl: In that case, follow me and Marie! We'll give you the run-down of the server's main base and hub area!

MCPrincess: This oughta be interesting...

(10:48 a.m.)

RollingInkGirl: And that's pretty much it!

RollingInkGirl: Was there anything that caught your attention in particular?

TheEelDeal: I can't decide! All the stuff you showed us was pretty cool!

TheEelDeal: BUT if I had to choose, I'd say the beach house was pretty awesome! It was like I was near an actual tropical beach!

AgentEight: Considering you guys live in a desert, I'm not surprised.

SharkBandit: I personally enjoyed the warehouse. I was impressed by how organized the interior was!

Big Man Time!: So many chests too!

SquidbeakCaptain: Each member of the server has a small section of chests that are exclusively for their items.

RollingInkGirl: We'll work on including your sections in a future renovation 😉

SharkBandit: That wiuld be greatly appreciated, thank u

TheEelDeal: You guys are the coolest!

Big Man Time!: What they both said! 👆

The Fresher 3: My favorite part was the TOTALLY AWESOME HOUSE YOU GUYS BUILT ME!!!

The Fresher 3: Captain, I take back my old comment, you are the coolest!

SquidbeakCaptain: Thanks I know 😌

420 Splat It: As if his ego couldn't get any bigger... 🙄

AgentEight: Lol

SharkBandit: Speaking of the houses, there is quite a huge number of them. More than enough considering how many people are here.

RollingInkGirl: Oh those houses? Those are for the secondary members.

The Fresher 3: Secondary members?

LowTideSnipe: You see, the Squidbeak Splatoon has many allies and friends, both in and outside of the organization.

LowTideSnipe: For example, Crusty Sean is an old friend of mine and Callie.

DJHyperfresh: Judd and Li'l Judd are members of the server too!

MCPrincess: Basically those extra houses are for members of the server who only come occasionally due to person life and work.

McPrincess: Who knows? Maybe luck will be on your side and you'll run into some of the other members when they're not currently busy!

Big Man Time!: I hope so! I love to make even more new friends! 😊

TheEelDeal: Same!

SquidbeakCaptain: Once again, I would like to welcome the three of you to the server and I hope you all will enjoy it here!

SharkBandit: Thank you Captain. I have a feeling that we will enjoy it here very much!

> MCPrincess was blown up by Big Man Time!.

> 420 Splat It was blown up by Big Man Time!.

MCPrincess: WHAT THE-?!

LowTideSnipe: Oh.

AgentEight: I guess we missed another leftover prank... 😅

OctobotKing2.0: HAHAHAHAHA GET REKT'D!!!

DJHyperfresh: Press F to pay respects.

SquidbeakCaptain: F

RollingInkGirl: F

LowTideSnipe: F

CraigCuttlefish: F

TheEelDeal: F

SharkBandit: F

Big Man Time!: F

AgentEight: F

The Fresher 3: F

The Fresher 3: Also Big Man run. I can see Pearl and Four running up to us with swords behind you.

Big Man Time!: Huh?! EEK!!! PEARL FOUR IM SRRY I DIDN'T MEAN TO EXPLODE U GUYS!!!

TheEelDeal: Should we help him?

SharkBandit: I'm sure he can handle himself.

> MCPrincess was slain by Big Man Time!.

SharkBandit: See?

MCPrincess: OH COME ON

Chapter Text

[New Squidbeak Splatoon Server] (8:30 a.m.)

> SquidbeakCaptain has joined the game.

> AgentEight has joined the game.

> RollingInkGirl has joined the game.

> LowTideSnipe has joined the game.

RollingInkGirl: Uuuugh I'm so tireeeed... 😪

AgentEight: My eyelids feel like they're made of lead... 😩

SquidbeakCaptain: We tried to warn you guys.

LowTideSnipe: But you still went ahead and drank over 20 shots of vodka 😒

SharkBandit: Woah what happened to you guys?

RollingInkGirl: Oh hey Shiver! 👋 Where r u right now?

SharkBandit: In a cave with Frye and Big Man.

SharkBandit: Big Man needed some gold blocks for a build he's working on.

SharkBandit: But srsly what happened?

SquidbeakCaptain: Damp Sock featuring Off the Hook had a Halloween concert held in Inkopolis Square and we got invited to the private after-party with some other friends.

SquidbeakCaptain: It was pretty fun until Four and Pearl got into an argument and started a drinking contest.

AgentEight: I technically didn't want to join in... 👉👈

SquidbeakCaptain: I know hun, you were peer-pressured into it.

SquidbeakCaptain: Remind me to kill Moe and Spyke next time we see either of them.

AgentEight: 👍

SharkBandit: A little off-topic but who won?

LowTideSnipe: Surprisingly it was Marina. I did not know that girl was a heavy weight...

RollingInkGirl: I won't lose next time tho

RollingInkGirl: That's a promise!

LowTideSnipe: Focus on sobering up first, cuz 🙄

TheEelDeal: Taking a break from mining rn

TheEelDeal: What is this I'm hearing about a party and why weren't we invited?

SquidbeakCaptain: We did invite you. Pearl even sent you each a text a week in advance.

TheEelDeal: OH SO THAT'S WHAT THAT WAS!!! 🤦

TheEelDeal: None of us had Pearl's number at the time so we all assumed it was a scam or wrong number.

TheEelDeal: I can't believe we missed out on a party!

Big Man Time!: True but we did have lots of fun trick-or-treating around Inkopolis!

Big Man Time!: Also hello everyone 😊

RollingInkGirl: Hey Big Man! 👋

RollingInkGirl: Sorry again for you guys not being there. We should've had the Captain or Four text you guys instead.

SharkBandit: It's fine. Like Big Man said, we had plenty of fun going trick-or-treating.

TheEelDeal: That's only because you got to tp and egg people's houses when they wouldn't give us candy 😐

TheEelDeal: Big Man and I were the only ones actually excited about the candy.

LowTideSnipe: Lmao nice.

LowTideSnipe: Four would've loved to join in on that.

Big Man Time!: Where is Four anyways?

AgentEight: Drinking contest. He's currently in his room trying to sleep off the drunkness.

SquidbeakCaptain: And shame. He only had one shot and he was out immediately.

LowTideSnipe: At least he lasted longer than Callie and Pearl. They lost after just one sip.

RollingInkGirl: Don't go telling people I'm a lightweight! 😫

SharkBandit: Lol

SharkBandit: I'm guessing Pearl and Marina won't be on the server today for the same reason?

AgentEight: Yep. Marina texted me and said that they're doing okay.

AgentEight: Btw what are you making Big Man?

Big Man Time!: Oh! I was planning to build a sort of treature vault under our house because Pearl kept stealing stuff from our chests

TheEelDeal: And leaving signs with 'I O U' in their place 😑

AgentEight: That does sound like Pearl...

TheEelDeal: Not to mention that our sections in that warehouse place haven't been built yet so the vault is kind of a backup plan.

RollingInkGirl: Can I help? My schedule for today is free until around the evening.

RollingInkGirl: I pinky promise I won't tell Pearl!

AgentEight: I would like to help as well if possible.

Big Man Time!: Of course! The more the merrier! 😁

SharkBandit: As long as Pearl does not learn of the vault's existence.

SharkBandit: Captain, Boss, what about you two?

SquidbeakCaptain: I'm gonna go check on the panda sanctuary.

TheEelDeal: WE HAVE A PANDA SANCTUARY?! 😳

AgentEight: We do.

AgentEight: If you pull up your map and see that small 8 shaped island off the coast of the beach, that's where it's located.

SharkBandit: Why is it located so far from the hub area?

SquidbeakCaptain: Because people like Flow and Murch kept changing their names without permission 😠

SquidbeakCaptain: When we found the pandas we had a server vote on what to name them!

SquidbeakCaptain: YET THEY KEEP CHANGING THE NAMES THAT WE VOTED TO GIVE TO THEM!!!

AgentEight: Hun...

SquidbeakCaptain: ...Srry

TheEelDeal: Its fine cap! What about you boss?

LowTideSnipe: I'm going with Captain so I could collect some bamboo for this build I'm making.

TheEelDeal: Oh cool!

LowTideSnipe: We'll see you guys later then. Good luck with your treasure vault project 👋

SharkBandit: Good luck with your project as well 👋

(8:50 a.m.)

> The Fresher 3 has joined the game.

The Fresher 3: ...

The Fresher 3: Okay so first off, hey guys.

The Fresher 3: And second, WHERE TF AM I?!!?!??!?

AgentEight: ?

The Fresher 3: I MEAN I'M DIDN'T LOG IN AT THE HUB!!!

The Fresher 3: THE ONLY THING I SEE IS SAND N CACTUSUSIS FOR MILES

SquidbeakCaptain: Wut

SquidbeakCaptain: Hold on, let me go check something...

LowTideSnipe: Did you say you're in a place with lots of sand and cacti?

The Fresher 3: Yes!

RollingInkGirl: Oof. Then that means you're in the Mollusk Desert area of the server.

RollingInkGirl: Which is on the literal opposite end of the hub area.

TheEelDeal: oop

Big Man Time!: Oh my... 😧

SharkBandit: How did that even happen?

The Fresher 3: That's what I want to know!

SquidbeakCaptain: Okay so back now

RollingInkGirl: Welcome back, Cap!

The Fresher 3: Did you find out why I spawned in the middle of a fucking desert?

SquidbeakCaptain: Yeeah... Pearl did it.

SquidbeakCaptain: Remember that time you pushed her into lava and stole her netherite and diamond sword?

The Fresher 3: ...I am going to kill that gremlin next time I see her.

AgentEight: To be fair you did kill her and take her stuff.

RollingInkGirl: 👆

LowTideSnipe: 👆

TheEelDeal: 👆🏽

SharkBandit: 👆

Big Man Time!: 👆

The Fresher 3: ...Okay I get it.

The Fresher 3: Still gonna get her back tho. Cap are you gonna help me out or not?

SquidbeakCaptain: Weell after some debating, I decided to get your tools and bring them to you but I won't teleport you back to the hub.

The Fresher 3: HUH?! 😠

SquidbeakCaptain: My reasoning is that you might run into some cool stuff in the desert.

SquidbeakCaptain: While we gave that area a name, none of us have actually explored the Mollusk Desert yet.

SquidbeakCaptain: This could be your chance to get some rare stuff before the rest of us!

The Fresher 3: ...Fine but if I go an hour in and don't find anything, you are teleporting me back to the hub immediately.

SquidbeakCaptain: Deal.

LowTideSnipe: This ought to be good.

RollingInkGirl: 100 bucks says Neo 3 will die in the first 10 minutes.

TheEelDeal: Challenge accepted! You got this Neo 3! 👍

(9:10 a.m.)

AgentEight: Hey Neo 3? You doing good?

The Fresher 3: Yeah why do you ask?

SquidbeakCaptain: It's been a while and you haven't said anything in the chat so he got worried.

The Fresher 3: Awww thanks Eight! 😁

The Fresher 3: I'm actually doing more than good!

The Fresher 3: Wanna know why?

RollingInkGirl: ?

The Fresher 3: Because I found... CAMELS!!!

SharkBandit: Wait what.

TheEelDeal: CAMELS?! 🤯

The Fresher 3: Yes camels!

The Fresher 3: After Captain dropped off my stuff, I wandered around the desert for a bit before stumbling upon a village that had some camels!

The Fresher 3: There was, like, 5 of them!

LowTideSnipe: Damn, that's lucky.

RollingInkGirl: PLS TELL ME U HAVE LEASHES TO MAKE THEM FOLLOW YOU!!! WE NEED THOSE CAMELS AT HUB!!!

The Fresher 3: I have leashes but they're at my house at the hub!

Big Man Time!: Don't worry! When I heard you found camels, I rushed over immediately and got them for you!

Big Man Time!: Captain?

SquidbeakCaptain: Don't worry I'm sending you over to them rn.

The Fresher 3: Big Man, Cap, I love you both you guys are the best. 🥰

Big Man Time!: Will you guys be alright without me?

SharkBandit: No worries, we have plenty of people and lots of material for the vault. Go help Neo 3.

TheEelDeal: Good luck you two! Bring back as many camels as you can!

The Fresher 3: We'll try! See y'all in a bit! 👋

(9:41 a.m.)

TheEelDeal: Aaaaand... done!

RollingInkGirl: Finally! The vault looks awesome btw!

RollingInkGirl: Is it okay if I store some stuff in here?

SharkBandit: As thanks for your help, you can have that chest in the corner for your stuff.

RollingInkGirl: Meh better than nothing. Thanks Shiver! Thanks Frye!

AgentEight: Do I get a space too?

SharkBandit: Of course, Eight! You can have that long chest near the entrance.

AgentEight: Thanks you guys!

RollingInkGirl: 🤨

SharkBandit: 😌

LowTideSnipe: Sounds like you guys had fun.

LowTideSnipe: Anyways Captain and I are done so we're heading back now.

SquidbeakCaptain: I have so many slime balls, it's not even funny.

AgentEight: I have some string at my house! We can make more leashes for when Big Man and Neo 3 get back with the camels!

SquidbeakCaptain: Eight you are brilliant and I love you so fucking much

RollingInkGirl: Btw I noticed that your beds are pressed together when I got lost in your house earlier.

RollingInkGirl: By Minecraft logic, that means you too are together, right? 🤔

TheEelDeal: Uh... yeah? I thought that was obvious?

RollingInkGirl: Oh it was obvious! I just wanted to make sure! 😁

TheEelDeal: Oh ok then

AgentEight: Aww I wish our beds were pressed together.

AgentEight: But then I remember that you, me, and Four all have separate houses ☹

SquidbeakCaptain: If you want, the three of us can have some private sessions later on to build a new house just for us three~ 😉

AgentEight: I would like that very much 🙂

SharkBandit: Ew PDA...

SharkBandit: Ha just kidding tho

SharkBandit: Btw has Big Man or Neo 3 said anything yet? They've gone quiet for a while.

The Fresher 3: We're here!

The Fresher 3: Sorry it took a while!

Big Man Time!: We were just counting the loot we got!

LowTideSnipe: Loot?

The Fresher 3: After Big Man teleported to me with the leashes, we did some more exploring and we stumbled upon so much stuff!

The Fresher 3: In the time that we went silent, we found things like pillager outposts, an oasis, and I faintly remembered finding a pyramid or two by accident.

TheEelDeal: Fucking lucky!!!

LowTideSnipe: Were you able to carry all of it?

Big Man Time!: Yep! I also brought along my shulker box when I got teleported.

RollingInkGirl: Nice!

SquidbeakCaptain: In that case, I'd say this minecraft session was a success

SquidbeakCaptain: The pandas are doing alright and I got slime balls

LowTideSnipe: And I have the bamboo I need for my build.

RollingInkGirl: Though I think Deep Cut and Neo 3 are the ones were the luckiest in this session. Great job you four!

SharkBandit: I must admit that this was quite a productive session.

TheEelDeal: And a really fun one too! 😄

TheEelDeal: I mean, we have our own provate server but it does get boring with just the 3 of us playing on there sometimes.

Big Man Time!: On here, we get to play with so many new and interesting friends! Thank you for inviting us!

RollingInkGirl: Thank you for accepting the invite! You're all pretty cool and fun to hang with too! 😁

> MCPrincess has joined the game.

MCPrincess: Hey guys feeling a more sober now so I thought I'd log on for a bit.

> MCPrincess died.

LowTideSnipe: Wtf was that?

The Fresher 3: HA THAT WHAT YOU GET YOU FOREHEAD GREMLIN!!!

SquidbeakCaptain: That um would be my doing.

SquidbeakCaptain: I felt bad for Neo 3 so I used commands and made it that the next person to log on after Neo 3 would get killed.

SquidbeakCaptain: Tbh it was mostly luck whether or not Pearl would be the next one to log on.

> DJHyperfresh has joined the game.

DJHyperfresh: Cap, mind explaining why Pearl is screaming bloody murder in the next room?

MCPrincess: YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS CAP!!!

Chapter Text

[New Squidbeak Splatoon Server] (2:05 p.m.)

> TheEelDeal has joined the game.

TheEelDeal: 3RD SPLATFEST LEGGOOO!!! 🎉🎉🎉

> SharkBandit has joined the game.

> Big Man Time! has joined the game.

SharkBandit: Frye! Not yet!

SharkBandit: I'm excited as you are but we still have a while before the Splatfest!

TheEelDeal: I know! Ugh!

RollingInkGirl: Hey guys! We saw the announcement!

DJHyperfresh: Congratulations on your third Splatfests! 😁

MCPrincess: AND it's a collab with pokémon at that!

Big Man Time!: Thanks for the kind words, all of you! Hope Team Water will ride the waves to victory this time! 🌊

TheEelDeal: Nuh-uh! Team Fire is gonna scorch all of you and leave y'all in the dust! 🔥

SharkBandit: Getting all worked up isn't gonna help you guys.

SharkBandit: A relaxed and confident mindset is needed which is why Team Grass is going to be the victors. 🍀

SharkBandit: For the third time in a row~ 😉

TheEelDeal: OH IT IS SO FCKING ON, HUN!!! 🤬

420 Splat It: Nice to see y'all are feeling motivated.

AgentEight: To be fair, this is pokémon we're talking about.

DJHyperfresh: I remember the previous pokémon themed Splatfests. They were so much fun!

RollingInkGirl: I know! Except this time instead of which game version, it's which starter!

RollingInkGirl: Quick! Everyone say which team you're going on!

MCPrincess: FIRE!!! 🔥🔥🔥

DJHyperfresh: I'm gonna go with Water! Like Big Man said, Water has the least weaknesses out of the 3 choices.

Big Man Time!: 😊

420 Splat It: Fire types all the way! Burn baby burn!

RollingInkGirl: I'm going Fire too! I love their aesthetic and they match my upbeat and energetic vibes!

TheEelDeal: Ha! Looks like I have the popularity votes!

Big Man Time!: Aw...

SquidbeakCaptain: I'm gonna go Grass. 1) because green is my favorite color. And 2) while they have the most weaknesses, they arguably have the most versatile move pool out of the three.

LowTideSnipe: I'm Team Grass for the same reasons as Cap 3. Plus the Grass starters are the ones that usually start with secondary typings.

LowTideSnipe: Example: Bulbasaur and Rowlet.

SharkBandit: Thank you, Cap and Boss. May we get a third win in a row with this latest Splatfest!

TheEelDeal: Hey! We don't know for sure yet! There's still time!

AgentEight: Sorry Shiver and Frye, but I'm going Water.

AgentEight: After I moved to Inkopolis, Pearl and Marina got me a copy of Platinum and my first starter was Piplup.

AgentEight: This one's for you, Sir Pips!

DJHyperfresh: To victory!

Big Man Time!: Yeah!

MCPrincess: Sorry but Sir Pips is gonna be disappointed as heck because Team Fire is winning!

RollingInkGirl: Hey Gramps, Octavio, what about you guys?

OctobotKing2.0: Fire. Not explaining why.

RollingInkGirl: Ah... fair enough.

CraigCuttlefish: I'm going with Team Grass.

SquidbeakCaptain: Because you main the Bamboozler?

CraigCuttlefish: Well... yes. But also because I've been getting into some gardening lately.

CraigCuttlefish: Both in minecraft and real life.

SquidbeakCaptain: Okay then... so for Grass: Shiver, Me, Marie, Craig...

SquidbeakCaptain: On Fire: Frye, Pearl, Four, Callie, Octavio...

SquidbeakCaptain: And finally Water: Big Man, Eight, Marina...

LowTideSnipe: Huh. Guess Fire does have the popularity vote. 😐

Big Man Time!: Popularity alone won't win the Splatfest!

Big Man Time!: Plus Neo 3 hasn't told us their choice yet!

TheEelDeal: Where are they anyways? I can see that they're on.

420 Splat It: They went back to Mollusk Desert to get more loot and camels for the hub.

> The Fresher 3 was pricked to death.

SharkBandit: Oop

OctobotKing2.0: Lol skill issues.

SharkBandit: Neo, what happened?

The Fresher 3: I was fighting a bunch of iron golems and they kept hitting me into a small patch of cactusisis!

The Fresher 3: They were relentless!

MCPrincess: That's what you get for last time!

The Fresher 3: Cap was the one who typed the command to kill you!

MCPrincess: Which he did for you, therefore making you partially to blame!

MCPrincess: Anyways which team are you on? Grass, Fire, or Water?

AgentEight: You're the only one who currently hasn't picked one yet.

The Fresher 3: Oh! Hold on, I need to pick up the loot I dropped when I died... fucking glad I set a spawn before exploring the place.

TheEelDeal: Didn't the Cap give you a recovery compass?

The Fresher 3: Yeah but I didn't have the 'keep inventory' command on so I dropped it when I died.

MCPrincess: Pfft! Skill issues.

SharkBandit: MOVING ON, Neo which team will you be on?

The Fresher 3: Oh right!

The Fresher 3: If I had to pick, I'd say Fire.

The Fresher 3: Because let's be honest, Fire fits me well to a distrubing level.

LowTideSnipe: ...They're not wrong though. 😐

ThEelDeal: Which means Fire has the popularity votes! Suck it, Shiver!

Big Man Time!: Aww... ☹

SharkBandit: Yes, yes, congratulations. We still have the Turf War portion of the Splatfest to go over though.

MCPrincess: We'll destroy you guys in Turf Wars too!

420 Splat It: ...Hopefully. Tri-Color Turf Wars are a bitch.

SquidbeakCaptain: That mode is so fucking unbalanced, it's not even funny.

Big Man Time!: We tried to discuss it with our bosses but the new jellyfish in charge wouldn't listen!

RollingInkGirl: Kind of makes me glad that Marie and I decided to be our own managers/bosses.

LowTideSnipe: Amen.

CraigCuttlefish: So Cap, any plans on decorating?

SquidbeakCaptain: You know it's tradition for the Splatfests.

TheEelDeal: Decorating? 🤨

SquidbeakCaptain: Whenever a Splatfest happens, it's tradition for members of the server to remodel their houses to match the color and team they chose for said Splatfest.

420 Splat It: You should've seen the server when the Chaos vs Order fest was going on!

420 Splat It: It was wicked! 🤟

AgentEight: It definitely captured the whole dystopian feel of the Splatfest.

SharkBandit: But what happens if you happen to be sharing a house and are on different teams?

SquidbeakCaptain: Simple. Just claim a portion of your shared house as your territory for the duration of the Splatfest.

SquidbeakCaptain: Usually I'd say you just redecorate your rooms, but Shiver and Frye share a room so...

SharkBandit: Sounds simple enough.

TheEelDeal: Hold on, why aren't Pearl and Marina sharing a room in their house?

TheEelDeal: Aren't they married or something irl?

DJHyperfresh: We created our minecraft house based on one of Pearl's summer homes, which is why we have separate rooms.

DJHyperfresh: We made sure to have two beds per bedroom though 😊

RollingInkGirl: Awww~! 🥰

SharkBandit: In any cases, thank you for the explanation. We'd better hurry and start renovating.

Big Man Time!: Ay sir!

> 420 Splat It was blown up by The Fresher 3.

LowTideSnipe: Oop

420 Splat It: WTF was that?!

The Fresher 3: Oh yeah! Octavio helped me boobytrap my chests.

The Fresher 3: Might have to rebuild later but it was worth it. 😌

OctobotKing2.0: HAH SUCK IT FOUR!!!

CraigCuttlefish: Octavio!

OctobotKing2.0: He deserved it.

The Fresher 3: He tried to take my stuff!

420 Splat It: Babe! Hun!

AgentEight: To be fair, you deserved it. 😅

SquidbeakCaptain: Sorry babe but I agree with Eight.

420 Splat It: FCKING TRAITORS!! 🤬😡🤬😡😠😠😡😡😡😡😠😠😡😠🤬🤬

MCPrincess: I fucking love this server. 😁

Chapter Text

[New Squidbeak Splatoon Server] (10:20 a.m.)

> MCPrincess has joined the game.

> DJHyperfresh has joined the game.

MCPrincess: THIS IS BULLSHIT!!!

MCPrincess: How dod we lose?!

DJHyperfresh: Three cheers for Team Water! Woohoo! 🎉🎉🎉

AgentEight: We flooded the competition! 🎉🎉🎉

LowTideSnipe: To show good sportsmanship, well done you guys.

LowTideSnipe: I was very surprised when I saw that you guys won by a total sweep.

RollingInkGirl: I know! I thought Team Fire would've gotten the popularity vote at least... ☹

420 Splat It: I really thought we would've gotten the popularity vote for sure!

OctobotKing2.0: Ugh! If anyone needs me, I'll be working on my not-really-a-secret underwater base.

OctobotKing2.0: Need to do something distracting and productive to clean the taste of defeat from my mouth.

AgentEight: Someone's being bitter 🤨

OctobotKing2.0: AM NOT!!!

CraigCuttlefish: Sorry! I was farming for carrots and potatoes so I didn't see the chat.

CraigCuttlefish: So I would to formally congratulate Team Water on winning.

SquidbeakCaptain: What he said.

DJHyperfresh: Awww thanks Craig, thanks Cap!

The Fresher 3: I'm a little disappointed but I mostly go to Splatfests to have a fun time, not a long one.

OctobotKing2.0: What

RollingInkGirl: Neo! Where are you right now?

The Fresher 3: In the volcano. I'm trying to get obsidian.

The Fresher 3: Why do you ask?

OctobotKing2.0: Nuh-uh! Neo 3 wtf do you mean by that last message? 😠

RollingInkGirl: I noticed a lack of Deep Cut on the server ever since the Grass/Fire/Water Splatfest results.

RollingInkGirl: You know where they are?

MCPrincess: Now that you mention it, I haven't seen them anywhere on this server.

The Fresher 3: Oh! Well after the results, they decided to have a Deep Cut-only party to celebrate.

The Fresher 3: Big Man was so happy that he won, Shiver is in disbelief that they lost but is managing, and Frye... she's just drowning herself in food to forget about losing again.

420 Splat It: Damn.

MCPrincess: I don't blame her. I drowned my misery in food too.

DJHyperfresh: You spent over $1,000,000 on cake, mayo, and other food items after the results came in.

The Fresher 3: So yeah. They won't be on for a while.

RollingInkGirl: Man, all this pokémon talk makes me wanna boot up my old copy of HeartGold just for the sake of nostalgia!

LowTideSnipe: True that. I think I may have been neglecting my SoulSilver team for far too long.

SquidbeakCaptain: In that case, why not have a pokémon marathon later this week?

SquidbeakCaptain: Four recently got into streaming so a little celebrity presence might boost views and subscribers.

DJHyperfresh: That sounds fun! Damp socks featuring off the hook doesn't have any concerts scheduled so we can join in for sure! 👍🏼

MCPrincess: So what are we supposed to do exactly? Just sit back, watch, and comment as Four plays pokémon?

AgentEight: The recent Scarlet and Violet games came out and features a multiplayer mode.

AgentEight: We can all takes turns joining his stream and playing with him.

RollingInkGirl: Not to mention the older games have online stuff like trading, wi-fi battles, etc.

420 Splat It: Just make sure you have plenty of snacks because I usually do extremely long streams.

MCPrincess: Bet

The Fresher 3: I'll go ask Deep Cut if they want a part of the action.

The Fresher 3: Splatsville has surprisingly good internet and wi-fi connections despite being in the desert.

RollingInkGirl: Woo! I can't wait to play pokémon again and get punched in the face with nostalgia! 😁

AgentEight: Since I've only played Platinum, Sword, and now Scarlet, I'd love to see what the older games were like.

420 Splat It: Trust me babe, it'll be worth the wait.

SquidbeakCaptain: 👆

The Fresher 3: Ew PDA

> The Fresher 3 tried to swim in lava.

RollingInkGirl: Oop

420 Splat It: HA SUCK IT!!!

The Fresher 3: ARE U KIDDING ME I SLIPPED?!!?! HOW TF DOES THAT HAPPEN?!??!

DJHyperfresh: I think you may have pressed the wrong direction by accident.

DJHyperfresh: It happens sometimes.

Chapter Text

[New Squidbeak Splatoon Server] (10:05 a.m.)

> MCPrincess has joined the game.

> DJHyperfresh has joined the game.

AgentEight: Hey girls! How are you two doing?

DJHyperfresh: Pretty good actually!

DJHyperfresh: Our last concert was a success and we don't have anything scheduled for the next month.

AgentEight: So that means you'll have lots of free time to play with us?

DJHyperfresh: Yep!

> MCPrincess was stung to death.

MCPrincess: Fuck!!!

AgentEight: Pearl, are you okay?!

MCPrincess: I'm fine... fucking bees... 💢

AgentEight: Erm... okay... Marina?

DJHyperfresh: She's still bitter about what happened on the stream with Four a few days ago.

DJHyperfresh: And I don't blame her because that stream was just a downward spiral of bad luck for her.

MCPrincess: FUCKING ARVEN'S GREEDENT HAD PSYCHIC FANGS!!! 🤬 🤬 🤬

MCPrincess: Took down my Annihilape and got a lucky crit on my Pawmot and Toxicroak!!!

DJHyperfresh: She was trying to do a fightning-type only run.

DJHyperfresh: Suffered a lot of misclicks and enemy crits...

AgentEight: Ah... I see.

AgentEight: I actually left the stream an hour in because I was tired and had a shift at Ammo Knights the next day.

AgentEight: So I missed a lot.

DJHyperfresh: No one blames you for choosing sleep and work.

MCPrincess: But it is surprising that Four hasn't complained about it on any of his social media accounts.

AgentEight: He did complain about it. He just did it in our DMs instead of in public.

AgentEight: He's still a rookie streamer/content creator after all, can't risk rumors or scandals.

MCPrincess: Oh yeah. That's fair I guess.

DJHyperfresh: Four might be chaotic and short-tempered, but is an overall a great guy.

DJHyperfresh: He doesn't deserve to get hated on and slandered by strangers.

AgentEight: Same

> Annie&Moe has joined the game.

> CrustySean has joined the game.

Annie&Moe: Erm... hello.

CrustySean: S'up! 👋

DJHyperfresh: Omigosh hi you guys!

AgentEight: Hello! 👋

MCPrincess: Yo ✌ It's been a while.

Annie&Moe: Yeeaah... srry about that btw

Annie&Moe: The SplatNet was surprisingly busier than expected recently.

AgentEight: It's alright Annie! I use the SplatNet weekly and I've seen how busy it was.

AgentEight: So it ain't your fault.

DJHyperfresh: 👆🏼

Annie&Moe: T-Thanks guys...

MCPrincess: Yo Sean, what about you?

CrustySean: Well I've been having a lot of fun on the road and exploring and experiencing new stuff.

CrustySean: So most of the time I've been having so much fun that I forget to log on occasionally.

CrustySean: And other times I'm usually too tired or unmotivated to bother 😅

AgentEight: Ah.

DJHyperfresh: That's fair. I have the most fun composing new music and performing than gaming.

DJHyperfresh: No offense to anyone who likes video games.

MCPrincess: None taken babe.

Annie&Moe: W-We all have our preferences s-so it's all good.

AgentEight: What they said.

AgentEight: Also here are some potatoes to celebrate you two joining the server again for so long!

CrustySean: Much obliged Eight! 😁

Annie&Moe: O-Oh! T-Thank you very mu-uch!

AgentEight: No prob! Since you're here, let's do something productive together!

AgentEight: Your houses and stuff are safe so let's go material gathering!

Annie&Moe: O-Oh thank goodness... I really don't feel like gathering replacement material...

CrustySean: I'm a little surprised given how the likes of Four, Pearl, Flow, Spyke, and Murch are on this server.

MCPrincess: Hey! 😠

DJHyperfresh: That's because Flow, Spyke, and Murch have all been busy lately with their jobs and we had Octavio set up some traps to make sure the remaining two don't break in 😉

MCPrincess: MARINA!!

AgentEight: I helped Octavio set up the traps so I can help you guys get pass them.

CrustySean: Thanks Eight!

Annie&Moe: Th-that would be much-h appreciated...

CrustySean: After we get our stuff, let's go fishing first!

CrustySean: It's been a while since I've gone fishing, both here and irl so it would be quite a treat!

DJHyperfresh: Sure! I'm down for some fishing! 👍🏼

AgentEight: Just finished farming for veggies so I have time.

Annie&Moe: It wo-would certainly b-be relaxi-ing...

DJHyperfresh: Pearl?

MCPrincess: Can't join you, srry

MCPrincess: Need to go mine stuff for this enchantment that I want on my bow.

MCPrincess: See you all in a bit.

AgentEight: Alright good luck! 👋

(11:20 a.m.)

> SharkBandit has joined the game.

> TheEelDeal has joined the game.

> Big Man Time! has joined the game.

TheEelDeal: Hey guys! What's up?

> MCPrincess was shot by Skeleton.

TheEelDeal: Oop

Big Man Time!: Pearl?! 😨

SharkBandit: Death

SharkBandit: Apparently death is what's up.

DJHyperfresh: You okay hun?

MCPrincess: Stupid skeleton got a lucky shot in while I was fighting some spiders 😠

CrustySean: Damn...

CrustySean: Skill issues.

Annie&Moe: Lol

AgentEight: Pfft...

MCPrincess: Assholes 😑

SharkBandit: As funny as it is to laugh at Pearl's suffering, I noticed 2 name tags that I'm not familiar with.

SharkBandit: Mind introducing us?

DJHyperfresh: Ah right! How rude of me.

DJHyperfresh: Deep Cut, meet Annie and Crusty Sean. They're two of the semi-inactive members we mentioned a few sessions ago.

DJHyperfresh: Annie and Crusty Sean, meet Deep Cut. There's one more new member but it seems like they're busy atm

TheEelDeal: Hello! 👋

Big Man Time!: Hello new friends! 😊

SharkBandit: Greetings. It is very nice to meet you both.

CrustySean: Same here! It's always great to meet new people!

Annie&Moe: E-Erm... same here...

MCPrincess: Don't mind Annie. She's socially awkward.

TheEelDeal: Hold on.

TheEelDeal: Do you mean the Annie who runs the SplatNet and used to be the shop owner of that hat shop from the Inkopolis Plaza?

Annie&Moe: U-Uhm yes... tha-at would be m-me...

TheEelDeal: AND Crusty Sean as in that shoe shop owner and the chef from the Square Crust Bucket?

CrustySean: Yep! Man, those were some fond memories. So nostalgic...

CrustySean: How do you know about us anyways?

TheEelDeal: A few years ago, I would sometimes head out from Splatsville and hang out at the Plaza and Square.

TheEelDeal: So I sometimes browse around their shops and then later the Crust Bucket.

SharkBandit: So that's where you've been going once every month...

Big Man Time!: Why didn't you invite us? ☹

TheEelDeal: Sorry!

TheEelDeal: I wanted to invite you guys but back then, you guys had way more family obligations compared to me and I didn't want to get you both in trouble!

SharkBandit: That's... fair. But you should've told us at least.

TheEelDeal: If I told you about my little adventures, you would've tried to sneak out with me.

Big Man Time!: That's... also fair.

CrustySean: Sorry to interrupt but Marina mentioned you guys are Deep Cut, right? The Deep Cut from Splatsville and the Anarchy Splatcast, right?

TheEelDeal: Yep! That's us alright!

Annie&Moe: PFFT WOW! GET A LOAD OF THESE WANNABES TRYING TO GET ON SS AND OTH'S LEVEL! YOUR LITTLE SPLATCAST IS TRASH!

TheEelDeal: HEY!!! 😡

Big Man Time!: We're not wannabes... 😢

SharkBandit: I know that Pearl said you were socially awkward, but that was just plain rudeness!

AgentEight: Yeah...

CrustySean: That wasn't Annie. 😒

DJHyperfresh: Give it a moment.

Annie&Moe: Erm s-sorry about that! Moe w-woke up...

TheEelDeal: Moe?

Annie&Moe: M-My clownfish partner... h-he tends to spe-eak his mind and h-has a foul m-mouth.

Annie&Moe: If you see-e a message from me-e that's in a-all caps, that's Moe.

Annie&Moe: A-Again, sorry...

SharkBandit: All is forgiven, Annie. And thank you for explaining before the situation spiraled in a negative direction.

TheEelDeal: We'll be on the lookout for all caps messages 👍🏼

TheEelDeal: Wanna go to Mollusk Desert with us? We finally have camels thanks to our friend Neo 3.

CrustySean: We have camels?! Why didn't you guys mention this?

DJHyperfresh: Sorry! We were really excited to see you guys on the server again after so long so we sorta forgot...

AgentEight: Same.

Annie&Moe: S-Sure! I don't m-mind a little road t-trip to t-the desert.

CrustySean: I guess I could stock up on some more materials. Especially if it's from the desert!

CrustySean: On an unrelated note, are you guys gonna do a Frosty Fest since Christmas is in a few weeks from now?

SharkBandit: It mostly depends on what our manager says.

SharkBandit: Personally I would love to host a Frosty Fest.

TheEelDeal: Same!

Big Man Time!: Ay!

Big Man Time!: Anyways you guys ready to raid the desert?

Annie&Moe: I-I am! And wow t-these camels are so-o cute!

DJHyperfresh: I guess I can take a break from my garden project to explore the desert.

DJHyperfresh: Pearl? Eight?

MCPrincess: Sure I'm game. 👍

AgentEight: Actually...

AgentEight: I-I don't feel too good... I might have to finish up for today.

TheEelDeal: That's alright, Eight! Go rest up!

AgentEight: Thanks... good luck with the desert raid btw 👋

> AgentEight has left the game.

DJHyperfresh: I hope he'll be alright... he mentioned feeling unwell a while ago and I hope it isn't something serious...

MCPrincess: I'm positive he'll survive! No one knows how resilient he is better than the two of us!

DJHyperfresh: True...

Annie&Moe: M-Maybe we can bring ba-ack some desert s-stuff as a "g-get well-l soon" gift?

Big Man Time!: Great idea Annie! I'll go prepare a chest for all the things we'll give to Eight!

> TheEelDeal blew up.

DJHyperfresh: Oop

CrustySean: Shoot Frye are you ok?!

TheEelDeal: I'm fine...

TheEelDeal: Pearl, just curious but did you and Four have another prank war?

MCPrincess: Uh... yeah, why?

> MCPrincess was slain by TheEelDeal using [Moray Destroyer].

SharkBandit: Pfft...! 🤭

Annie&Moe: O-Oh dear...

TheEelDeal: That was for not cleaning up your shit properly.

MCPrincess: Fuck you, Frye.

Chapter Text

[New Squidbeak Splatoon Server] (4:08 p.m.)

MCPrincess: Alright

MCPrincess: Since no one's gonna say it, I will.

MCPrincess: Wtf is going on with Eight?

DJHyperfresh: Glad to know I wasn't the only one who is worried.

RollingInkGirl: To be fair, you guys essentially appointed yourselves as Eight's older sisters.

RollingInkGirl: Like with Marie and Four, and Neo 3 with Deep Cut.

LowTideSnipe: But yeah, the rest of us have noticed something's up.

Big Man Time!: Does anyone have any ideas what is going on by chance? I'm really worried for Eight... 😟

TheEelDeal: And where are Captain and Four?

CraigCuttlefish: Captain and Four both share an apartment with Eight, so I reckon they're busy tending to the poor fella.

OctobotKing2.0: They better be doing a good job at it too...

RollingInkGirl: What was that, Octavio? 🤨

OctobotKing2.0: NOTHING!!!

> The Fresher 3 has joined the game.

The Fresher 3: Just got on. What's happening?

SharkBandit: Read up.

The Fresher 3: Hold on...

The Fresher 3: Oh u guys are talking about that.

MCPrincess: MOVING ON, anybody have any ideas what's up?

MCPrincess: Like, any symptoms that might tell us what's wrong with Eight?

The Fresher 3: Well... this one time when I was hanging out with Cap, Four, and Eight, the poor guy kept getting up to use the bathroom.

The Fresher 3: He also mentioned that he's been feeling more exhausted and sleepy lately.

TheEelDeal: Oh!

TheEelDeal: It was the same with Big Man and I too!

Big Man Time!: We were working on an animal zoo project for the base. Y'know, to house all of the animals we currently own.

TheEelDeal: But we took longer than usual because Eight kept leaving his PC to go to the bathroom or take a 5 minute nap every once in a while.

TheEelDeal: We were more worried than mad at him. We didn't even complain when he mentioned that he had a headache and left early.

DJHyperfresh: Alright so... symptoms so far include exhaustion, headaches, and constant bathroom trips...

CraigCuttlefish: If this might help in anyway, I dropped by earlier this week to deliver my usual crab cakes to Eight and he turned them down!

RollingInkGirl: What?! 😱 😱 😱

LowInkSnipe: This is a serious situation then. Eight loves crab cakes, especially when gramps is the one who made them!

OctobotKing2.0: This is usually where I make a passive-aggressive comment but I've tried his crab cakes before so I agree. This is a serious situation.

The Fresher 3: Bet he tried Craig's other cakes too 😏 🤭

SharkBandit: NEO!

RollingInkGirl: EEEWWW!!! 🤢🤮

CraigCuttlefish: Oh he has!

RollingInkGirl: GRAMPS!!!

OctobotKing2.0: CRAIG!!! 😡 😡 😡

DJHyperfresh: Just gonna add "change in appetite" to the symptoms list before we all forget about it...

CraigCuttlefish: What? I'm just saying he's had a taste of my other cakes before! Octavio, you personally asked me to bake you a cake for one of those diplomatic parties you use to throw before the war!

OctobotKing2.0: Oh... Oh that's you meant.

The Fresher 3: Lmao

RollingInkGirl: I think Marie's passed out from shock and disgust.

TheEelDeal: F

SharkBandit: F

Big Man Time!: F

OctobotKing2.0: I hate u all

MCPrincess: Moving on from that topic, Marina did you figure out what's wrong with Eight yet?

DJHyperfresh: Currently looking it up on some sites based on the symptoms we've gotten so far.

DJHyperfresh: Might take a few minutes srry.

MCPrincess: In that case, why not chat a little until she finds something?

MCPrincess: How have y'all been?

RollingInkGirl: Aside from that bit with gramps and Octavio earlier, my week has been pretty good.

TheEelDeal: Same. Deep Cut went treasure-hunting a few days ago irl.

SharkBandit: Didn't find anything that could net in big profit but we enjoyed ourselves nonetheless.

Big Man Time!: Ay!

CraigCuttlefish: Pretty good for me too! My garden irl has been growing strong and healthy!

RollingInkGirl: Lucky! Pretty flowers and fresh veggies and fruits whenever you like...

LowTideSnipe: Srry I'm back.

TheEelDeal: Finally conscious again?

LowTideSnipe: Shut up.

LowTideSnipe: Anyways I heard about the latest Splatfest you guys are gonna host.

TheEelDeal: That's right! Hopefully I can finally get a win this time!

SharkBandit: Frye, I love you and sincerely want you to get at least one win, but I am also competitive so Team Spicy is gonna burn you guys out!

Big Man Time!: Nuh-uh! Team Sour is gonna make you all cry in defeat!

RollingInkGirl: I think Team Water's win might've gotten him win-hungry... 😬

LowTideSnipe: Yep...

MCPrincess: Yeah...

TheEelDeal: Fat chance you guys! I'm representing Team Sweet and we all know how obsessed people are with sweets!

TheEelDeal: My turn to sweep a win!

RollingInkGirl: Sweeeets!!! 🍫 🍬 🍭

MCPrincess: TEAM SWEETS!!!

LowTideSnipe: Correction, it will be Team Spicy getting a win.

CraigCuttlefish: My exact thoughts, Marie.

SharkBandit: I wasn't aware you were both Spicy fans.

LowTideSnipe: I enjoy the sting my mouth gets from spicy food every once in a while.

CraigCuttlefish: And I like my crab cakes spicy!

DJHyperfresh: Okay so I'm back with some results! What r u guys doing?

RollingInkGirl: Discussing the upcoming Spicy vs Sweet vs Sour Splatfest.

DJHyperfresh: Oh. In that case, I'm with Team Sour.

OctobotKing2.0: Same.

MCPrincess: What?! Ew why?!

DJHyperfresh: Pearl. We're Octolings and also part of the Octarian Army... well, Octavio is anyways.

DJHyperfresh: A nice sour zing keeps us awake and alert. Shiver seems to be one of the few exceptions.

SharkBandit: I actually like sour food. I just love spicy food even more.

LowTideSnipe: So what are those results?

DJHyperfresh: Oh right!

DJHyperfresh: Well, first off I searched based on the symptoms we went over and the list was rather long.

DJHyperfresh: So I decided to go over it from most likely to least likely.

DJHyperfresh: And... well...

MCPrincess: What's wrong, hun?

DJHyperfresh: Well... I think Eight might be–

> SquidbeakCaptain has joined the game.

SquidbeakCaptain: Hey.

MCPrincess: Yo Cap!

Big Man Time!: Hello!

TheEelDeal: Is Eight alright?

SquidbeakCaptain: He's doing fine. It seems like his headaches are gone but he still gets sleepy and needs to go to the bathroom a lot.

The Fresher 3: Darn. Poor guy...

SquidbeakCaptain: Four is with him right now. We have a doctor's appointment tomorrow so hopefully we might get some answers.

RollingInkGirl: Hopefully...

SquidbeakCaptain: Anyways that's all I came on to say to you guys. I gotta get started on dinner after all.

SquidbeakCaptain: Later. ✌

The Fresher 3: Later Cap! 👋

OctobotKing2.0: You better take good care of Eight!

> SquidbeakCaptain has left the game.

MCPrincess: So Marina, what were you gonna say?

DJHyperfresh: Erm...

DJHyperfresh: I... think we should wait until after the boys have their appointment first...

DJHyperfresh: Just to be safe...

Chapter Text

[New Squidbeak Splatoon Server] (3:20 p.m.)

> TheEelDeal has joined the game.

> SharkBandit has joined the game.

> Big Man Time! has joined the game.

TheEelDeal: TEAM SWEETS BABY!!! 🥳 🥳 🥳

SharkBandit: Hmph... I'll concede that you and your team performed admirably. 👏

Big Man Time!: Agreed! You earned that win, Frye! 😁

TheEelDeal: Hell yeah I did!

RollingInkGirl: We saw the results. Congrats on the win, Frye!

MCPrincess: Told ya Team Sweets would come out the victors! 🤟

DJHyperfresh: The results were kinda predictable tbh.

DJHyperfresh: But I still went with Sour because the Splatfest is about supporting your preference.

OctobotKing2.0: ANOTHER LOSE?!! C'MON!!! 😡 😡 😡

CraigCuttlefish: Take a chill pill, Octavio. You'll choose the winning choice eventually.

CraigCuttlefish: Oh and congrats on your first win, Frye.

TheEelDeal: Thanks Craig! Man it feels good to finally have a win!

MCPrincess: Agreed! The first win is always the most satisfying!

LowTideSnipe: What she said. 👆

RollingInkGirl: Mm-hm! 👆

DJHyperfresh: Totally! 👆🏽

SharkBandit: Don't forget that I am still in the lead with the most wins.

TheEelDeal: Don't worry, Shiver. Big Man and I are gonna catch up with you soon enough!

Big Man Time!: Ay!

CraigCuttlefish: Ah it's nice to see some friendly competitiveness in the young folks.

OctobotKing2.0: ...yeah...

DJHyperfresh: Did you say something, Octavio?

OctobotKing2.0: I SAID I'M GONNA GO CLEAN UP MY HOUSE NOW!!!

LowTideSnipe: Honestly same. Gonna go collect up all the red wool I used for my house.

LowTideSnipe: Do you need any help with your house, gramps?

CraigCuttlefish: No need. I can handle it!

> The Fresher 3 has joined the game.

The Fresher 3: Hey guys!

RollingInkGirl: Hey Neo 3! You've been gone for a while.

TheEelDeal: Yeah! I barely saw you around Splatsville lately!

The Fresher 3: Sorry! I was busy with Salmon Run and hanging out with a few friends I've made around the Square and Plaza.

SharkBandit: While I am glad that you have friends outside of the server, please inform us next time if you're gone for a long period of time.

DJHyperfresh: Eight even texted me that he was worried when you didn't answer his calls or texts.

The Fresher 3: Oh

The Fresher 3: Tell Eight that I'm sorry for worrying him.

LowTideSnipe: Speaking of, how is Eight?

Big Man Time!: I know it's only been a while since the last update but I'm still worried...

DJHyperfresh: Oh! Well Eight's-

> SquidbeakCaptain has joined the game.

SquidbeakCaptain: Hey guys.

RollingInkGirl: Cap! Hey!

LowTideSnipe: How did the appointment with the doctor go?

SquidbeakCaptain: Unfortunately we couldn't go.

The Fresher 3: What? Why?!

SquidbeakCaptain: It was just a bad luck day for us. It happens sometimes.

SquidbeakCaptain: First, we woke up late. Then, Four's GPS got all fucked up and we ended up lost for half hour.

TheEelDeal: Oof

Big Man Time!: Oh my...

CraigCuttlefish: Why do I get the feeling that's not even the worst part? 🤔

RollingInkGirl: Gramps-

SquidbeakCaptain: AND THEN!!! THE FCKING BASTARD DOCTOR CANCELLED ON US BC WE WERE LATE FOR OUR APPOINTMENT N HE HAD OTHER PATIENTS TO ATTEND TO!!! 🤬 🤬 🤬

DJHyperfresh: I mean, you were half an hour late.

SharkBandit: Plus he had other patients. He wasn't gonna wait for you guys before tending to them.

SquidbeakCaptain: I know... that outburst was mostly out of stress and frustration.

SquidbeakCaptain: And I had plenty to get frustrated about that day...

The Fresher 3: Mm-hm.

TheEelDeal: No arguments there.

SquidbeakCaptain: Moving on, he agreed to schedule another appointment for the end of the week, so we're currently preparing ourselves to make sure something like today doesn't happen again.

SquidbeakCaptain: Just came on to see what you guys are doing and to give you an update on the situation.

LowTideSnipe: Glad to hear you guys are okay.

MCPrincess: Before you go!

MCPrincess: What team did you choose for the Spicy/Sweet/Sour Splatfest???

SquidbeakCaptain: Oh right! We weren't here when you guys were discussing it...

SquidbeakCaptain: Well... I chose Team Spicy, Four chose Team Sweet, and Eight chose Team Sour.

TheEelDeal: Huh... I guess Marina wasn't lying about Octolings liking sour food.

MCPrincess: Did Four gloat about it?

SquidbeakCaptain: Not that much. We didn't want to stress out Eight with his celebrating.

TheEelDeal: Oh yeah! Almost forgot...

TheEelDeal: Neo, which team did you choose?

The Fresher 3: It was a tough choice between Team Spicy or Team Sweet, but I chose Team Spicy in the end. I just love the feeling of my tongue on fire. 🔥

SharkBandit: Same.

LowTideSnipe: It's certainly enjoyable.

CraigCuttlefish: Agreed!

The Fresher 3: Before I forget...

The Fresher 3: Cap, once Eight has gotten better, don't forget about that special project that the three of us and Four were working on.

SquidbeakCaptain: Don't worry. We won't forget. 👍

> SquidbeakCaptain has left the game.

MCPrincess: Babe, are you gonna tell us what is wrong with Eight now?

DJHyperfresh: Well... alright...

DJHyperfresh: Before I say anything else, Eight isn't in any serious danger.

OctobotKing2.0: Thank cod...

Big Man Time!: Then what's wrong with him?

DJHyperfresh: Well... Eight is...

Chapter Text

Three could not stop the sigh of frustration coming from his mouth as he leaned back against his seat. After rescheduling Eight's doctor appointment, him and Four did their absolute best to ensure they don't end up late again. But even with careful planning, incidents are unavoidable as they were currently stuck in traffic. Apparently some idiot wasn't paying attention and crashed his car at the intersection, so now the authorities (and a tow truck) had to get called in to handle the situation.

Even though the car belonged to Three, Four was the driver since the captain didn't trust his lover with the directions after what happened last time. The poor Inkling was currently banging his head against the steering wheel because now they were at risk of being late again. Three was currently in the back to keep Eight company and could only look at Four with pity.

"Can you believe this, babe?!" Four growled as he glared ahead.

"I know. We even left two hours early to make sure we would get there in time too." Three responded with another sigh, glancing to the side to make sure Eight was still asleep. "But we can't do much but hope the authorities clear this up quickly."

Four scowled before taking a few deep breaths. They still had time... they can wait it out a little longer. While Four focused on the road ahead, Three was currently going through the New Squidbeak Splatoon's discord server. It was mostly used for Four's streams but there were a few private channels reserved for members of the Splatoon and allies/friends. For the most part, everyone was pretty chill with the occasion good luck to them regarding the appointment.

Then Pearl brought up the latest Splatfest, causing a huge argument on which chocolate is superior. Three personally likes all of them but had a special fondness of milk chocolate. The captain chuckled to himself, knowing that Four is gonna choose white chocolate while Eight is gonna go dark chocolate. Octolings seem to gravitate towards the more... tart flavors on the spectrum. He knows for a fact that after the appointment that his two boyfriends are gonna have a whole dispute about chocolate.

A few minutes later, the situation finally cleared up and traffic was slowly moving again. Three looked up the directions and gave Four instructions on which direction to take. Once they entered the highway, Four stepped on the gas a little harder which caused the car to go faster and also wake Eight up. Three gently pat Eight on the back while Four apologized and focused on the road again.

"Did you sleep well?" Three asked in a quiet voice, careful not to give his lover a headache when he just woke up.

"I slept good. Though you could've woken me up less abruptly..." Eight said, glancing at Four in the front view mirror.

Four flinched and murmured another apology. He tried to reassure the Octoling that they'll be there soon but Three stopped him, his reasoning being that he didn't want to jinx it when they were so close to the hospital. With that explanation, the rest of the ride was fairly quiet with the occasional sound of Three texting on his phone.

"Who are you texting, Three?" Eight asked.

"Pearl and Marina," Three replied, "And also Neo Three. They wanted me to give them updates on the situation. I was just telling them that we're still on the road at the moment."

"Well that's sweet of them to ask about my well-being."

"Guys! We're finally here!" Four said excitedly.

Three and Eight looked out the window and saw the hospital. Finally things were starting to go their way! Four pulled into the parking lot and quickly but carefully parked the car into an open space close to the entrance. The yellow Inkling got out and headed inside first to ask for directions while Three rushed to the other side to help Eight out of the car. The Octoling let out a frustrated sigh since he didn't like being treated like he was fragile but didn't argue and fight against the help.

"Hey guys. I asked where to find Dr. Lamb Prey and the guy at the front counter said to check the second floor, room two-two-three." Four said as he saw his boyfriends come inside.

"Let's take the elevator." Three said while carefully holding Eight's right hand. Four rushed over and held Eight's left hand as the three of them made their way to an elevator.

"You guys don't have to keep treating me like a doll, you know," Eight said as they entered the elevator.

"I know you don't like it, but we still don't know what's wrong with you yet," Three said in a soothing tone, "we are just being careful."

Eight sighed and nodded in understanding. Let's just hope the doctor knows what's going on... he really doesn't like being handled like he's helpless. Eight has his pride as an Octoling and former soldier of the Octarian Army after all. The elevator doors open and the throuple quickly rushed out to find room 223. After finding the right room, Four immediately went to the lady at the window to check in while Three and Eight went to find a seat in the waiting room.

"How are the others doing right now?" Eight asked his boyfriend.

"Pretty good," Three answered, taking out his phone again, "Although they are having a heated discussion about the recently announced Splatfest though."

"As expected. What was the theme again?"

"Which chocolate do you prefer? The options are Milk vs. Dark vs. White."

"Pfft! As if there's any contest." Four said as he joined his lovers. "White chocolate for the win, baby!"

"I don't know, I'm quite fond of dark chocolate.'

Three sighed as Four and Eight got into a heated but quiet argument about why their chocolate is better. He tuned them out and instead focused on the things going on in their discord server while also keeping an ear for when it's time for their appointment. The captain let out a sigh as he saw that it was the same on discord, with the members all arguing about the Splatfest.

"I have an... Eight? Can Mister Eight come in?" The window lady said. "Dr. Lamb Prey is ready to see you now."

The two Inklings and one Octoling got up and immediately went pass the door leading to the checkup rooms. One of the nurses guided them to the right room before leaving. Once the nurse was gone, Eight and Four stared as each other as if to continue their discussion on chocolate. To Three's relief, Dr. Lamb Prey came into the room before either of them could say anything.

"Sorry if I kept you gentlemen waiting," Dr. Lamb Prey apologized, "Now tell me, which of you is... Mr. Eight? Is that correct?"

"I'm Eight." The only Octoling responded.

"Very well then," Lamb Prey said, putting on gloves and adjusting his face mask, "This is usually the part where I make small-talk with you, but I assume you want to get this appointment over with?"

The guy wasn't exactly wrong. The three of them just want some answers to what was wrong with Eight. Dr. Lamb Prey began asking Eight questions such as when the symptoms started, how severe they were and so on. Eight answered all of the doctor's questions with honesty. After that, Lamb Prey started doing a few tests like checking Eight's ears and checking his blood pressure.

To the other occupant's confusion, the doctor's expression turned surprised when he checked Eight's heartbeat.

"I believe I have an idea what is wrong with Mr. Eight," The doctor said as he put away his equipment, "However, I need to borrow him for a bit to run a few more tests to be sure. Mr. Eight, could you kindly follow me?"

Despite the Octoling's confusion, he complied and followed the doctor out of the room. He gave his lovers a reassuring smile before closing the door behind him. The two Inklings couldn't do much except wait and hope for the best. The two of them decided to watch some SplaTube videos to pass time but they found themselves worried when almost half an hour passed. What was taking them so long?

"They're, uh... sure taking their time," Four commented, "You think... maybe?"

"Eight is fine," Three said firmly, "If it's a sickness, then we'll just ask them for instructions on what to do."

"I guess... you have a point. I'm just worried."

"Me too, Four..."

A few more minutes have passed before Dr. Lamb Prey and Eight reentered the room. Lamb Prey had a look of slight surprise but otherwise maintained professionalism. Eight, on the other hand, was a blushing mess with his face red like a tomato as he bit his lower lip and tugged the hem of his shirt. The two Inklings shared a look as Eight took a seat between them. What happened while they were outside of the room?

"Sorry for the wait, lads. Though I now have confirmation of what is wrong with Eight now." Lamb Prey explained.

"What's wrong?" Four demanded, gently placing a hand on Eight's shoulder. "Is he sick?"

"He is not sick, you two," Lamb Prey reassured, "In fact, I have nothing but wonderful news... well, depending on your definition of wonderful."

Three and Four shared a glance, suspicion and concern clear in their eyes. The doctor... has wonderful news? What kind of wonderful news could it be that Eight was a glowing tomato?

"Just be straightforward with us already!"

"Eight is pregnant." Lamb Prey said simply.

The room went so quiet that a pin drop could be heard.

"...I'm sorry, but what did you say?"

"Eight is pregnant," Lamb Prey repeated slowly, "I'm assuming one or both of you are the other parents of the child or children, so I would like to say congratulations."

The two Inklings didn't respond as they slowly turned their heads to look at Eight, who was burying his blushing face into Four's shoulder. Soon enough, Three and Four's faces slowly began to turn red as well. Seeing the situation, Dr. Lamb Prey chuckled before excusing himself from the room to give them more time to comprehend the information they were just given.

"Eight..." Three said after a long period of silence, "You're... pregnant?"

Eight bit his lips before quickly nodding. The Octoling didn't remember all of the details, but he knew for a fact that the symptoms started to appear a few days after that Halloween party a few months ago. The same party where he was forced to participate in a drinking contest that gave him a severe hangover.

That was all the confirmation Three needed before passing out on the floor. The Inkling's lovers anticipated this and were able to catch him and gently laid him down. Four was feeling a little overwhelmed as well but he was still conscious due to sheer willpower.

"Are you... upset?" Eight asked quietly which snapped Four out of his daze.

"No! No, of course not!" Four said, rubbing the Octoling's back gently. "Surprised? Absolutely. Upset? Not a chance! If Three was still awake, he would be agreeing with me! We just... need some time to come to terms with this."

Eight gave a weak smile as he nuzzled into Four's side. He was glad his boyfriends weren't upset with him but now they had another problem to think about. Whether or not they should keep the baby.

Chapter Text

[New Squidbeak Splatoon Server] (10:05 a.m.)

> SquidbeakCaptain has joined the game.

TheEelDeal: What the actual fuck?!

OctobotKing2.0: Grrr... can't believe my team lost to fake chocolate. 😠

Big Man Time!: That's what you get for underestimating us!

SquidbeakCaptain: Hey guys 👋

SquidbeakCaptain: What did I miss? Aside from White Chocolate winning?

TheEelDeal: They only won because of their team color!

MCPrincess: Not true!

SharkBandit: Nothing much, Cap. Just Frye and Octavio complaining about losing.

SquidbeakCaptain: Oh. Who's on which team again? 🤔

LowTideSnipe: Oh right. You weren't here when we were discussing the teams.

RollingInkGirl: Weeeell, for Dark Chocolate, it was Shiver, Marie, Marina, and Octavio.

RollingInkGirl: Then for Milk Chocolate, it was Frye, Gramps, and Neo 3.

DJHyperfresh: And finally on the winning team of White Chocolate, it was Big Man, Pearl, and Callie.

MCPrincess: White Choco for the win, baby! 😎

RollingInkGirl: Now time to pay up~!

SquidbeakCaptain: Uh... pay?

SharkBandit: Yeah we, uh, did something a little different for this Splatfest.

TheEelDeal: In addition to buying the winners chocolate irl, we also have give up or go gather any material of the winners' choosing.

OctobotKing2.0: Fine! What do you all want?

Big Man Time!: Some netherite would be nice 😊 I need them for a new sword.

MCPrincess: 64 lily pads. Need them for a build idea.

RollingInkGirl: Elytra with mending.

LowTideSnipe: Alright... I'm making a list.

SquidbeakCaptain: I'll go ask what Four wants later since he was also on Team White Chocolate.

DJHyperfresh: Aight.

The Fresher 3: Moving on from the Splatfest results, how's Eight?

TheEelDeal: Oh yeah that's right! How is Eight? 😟

SquidbeakCaptain: Well the good news is he's not dying.

OctobotKing2.0: Thank god for that...

CraigCuttlefish: What?

OctobotKing2.0: What?

RollingInkGirl: What else?

SquidbeakCaptain: Well... it's not bad news, but it's still surprising.

SquidbeakCaptain: Eight is... pregnant...

SharkBandit: *le gasp*

Big Man Time!: No way! 🤯

The Fresher 3: Can I be the godparent?

OctobotKing2.0: ...Craig, where's my diamond shovel?

CraigCuttlefish: You can have the shovel talk later!

CraigCuttlefish: Back on topic, congrats Three!

LowTideSnipe: Are you guys gonna keep the baby tho?

> MCPrincess fell from a high place.

MCPrincess: Fuck sorry about that!

MCPrincess: Bumped into my keyboard and moved on accident.

SharkBandit: Lol skill issues.

DJHyperfresh: Back on topic, I agree with Marie's question.

DJHyperfresh: Are you gonna keep the baby?

SquidbeakCaptain: Well... after much consideration, lots of yelling and tears, and then hugging it out...

TheEelDeal: Dear lord... 😳

OctobotKing2.0: Yeesh... 😬

SquidbeakCaptain: We have decided to keep the baby.

DJHyperfresh: Yes!

DJHyperfresh: I mean, awesome! Need any help with anything?

SquidbeakCaptain: Well... considering we didn't expected this, I'd say we have a lot of stuff we need to get prepared.

LowTideSnipe: He has a point. 👆

LowTideSnipe: He's gonna need a baby room, clothes, baby food, toys, and so much more.

SquidbeakCaptain: Yeah... 😓

MCPrincess: Not to worry! I have the crib and toys prepared for you and Marina has some baby manuals.

DJHyperfresh: Fair warning, you should only read them for advice and not for actual parenting.

LowTideSnipe: Come to think of it, don't we have that one vacation home closer to the coasts?

RollingInkGirl: Oh yeah! If you guys want, you can have that place to raise the kid if the apartment is too small!

SquidbeakCaptain: Uh...

The Fresher 3: Btw I sent something to you in our discord DM. It's a babysitting schedule that shows you who's available on which days.

SharkBandit: You have our numbers so we'll call or text you ahead of time if something comes up.

SquidbeakCaptain: That's cool but–

TheEelDeal: Also I have some old toys in my attic!

TheEelDeal: They should still be in good condition, I think!

SquidbeakCaptain: Guys–

CraigCuttlefish: Is Eight alright? Does he need anything?

OctobotKing2.0: Looser clothing? Weird cravings? Maybe an extra pillow? Or maybe–

SquidbeakCaptain: GUYS!!! 🤬 🤬 🤬

The Fresher 3: 😬

TheEelDeal: 😨

SharkBandit: 😐

Big Man Time!: 😶

RollingInkGirl: 😨

LowTideSnipe: 😐

CraigCuttlefish: 😐

OctobotKing2.0: 😒

DJHyperfresh: 😬

> MCPrincess fell from a high place.

The Fresher 3: oop

DJHyperfresh: Pearlie what happened?

MCPrincess: I got startled and accidentally moved off the side of a cliff.

SquidbeakCaptain: Back on topic now, please. 😠

MCPrincess: 😐

SquidbeakCaptain: Anyways, I appreciate that you guys are willing to help, but how TF DO YOU GUYS ALREADY HAVE EVERYTHING PLANNED OUT?!!?!

SquidbeakCaptain: Did you guys already know about the baby? If so, then how?

RollingInkGirl: Well... er...

LowTideSnipe: We were worried about Eight so we decided to try and figure out what's wrong going off his symptoms.

TheEelDeal: Marina knew first since she was the one that searched it up.

DJHyperfresh: I wanted to wait until you, Eight, and Four knew first before telling the other...

DJHyperfresh: But they were getting impatient so I broke and told them 😅 Sorry...

OctobotKing2.0: To be fair, you all weren't exactly being subtle about it...

CraigCuttlefish: Octavio...

DJHyperfresh: I really did mean to wait until you guys found out and told us, but you know how impatient everyone here is.

SquidbeakCaptain: Ugh... it's fine, Marina.

SquidbeakCaptain: I am grateful for the help btw. Let's discuss this more later though.

SquidbeakCaptain: I don't wanna talk about baby preparations in minecraft.

SharkBandit: That's understandable.

SquidbeakCaptain: Btw can any of you guys send over some chocolates? Eight is having a heck of a craving for them.

TheEelDeal: No problemo, Cap!

MCPrincess: I'll see what I can do and buy Eight the most expensive and refined chocolate in existence! 👍

DJHyperfresh: These are pregnancy cravings, babe. Be sure to throw in some weird food choices in there too.

LowTideSnipe: Do you guys plan on getting married or elope? I doubt you three want the baby to be raised by unmarried parents, even if I personally don't think it's that serious of a problem.

SquidbeakCaptain: We're still deciding. Four wants to elope to save money and to avoid stressing Eight out, but Eight wants to have a proper wedding.

SquidbeakCaptain: I blame those magazines you two gave him...

DJHyperfresh: Sorry!

MCPrincess: Thought it was a good way to help him adjust to Inkopolis life quicker...

RollingInkGirl: In any cases, that means we need to plan a bachelor party AND baby shower at the same time!

RollingInkGirl: Marie!

LowTideSnipe: Way ahead of you.

LowTideSnipe: See you guys in a bit. 👋

> LowTideSnipe has left the game.

> RollingInkGirl has left the game.

SquidbeakCaptain: Craig? You mind coming by later? You probably had experience raising Callie and Marie's parents. We could use some personal insight.

CraigCuttlefish: Why sure! My memories are a little rusty but I'll see what I can do to help!

DJHyperfresh: We'll handle the wedding preparations for you. Eight is like a little brother to us after all!

MCPrincess: It's gonna be the greatest wedding in all of history!

SquidbeakCaptain: Just make sure it's not too extravagant or expensive though.

SquidbeakCaptain: Eight would never forgive himself, even if you guys have plenty of money to spare.

MCPrincess: Ugh you're no fun...

DJHyperfresh: Pearl...

MCPrincess: Fine! We won't do anything too crazy! 😒

The Fresher 3: Ooo I'm so excited! I can't wait to meet the baby!

OctobotKing2.0: You better let me DJ for the event.

SquidbeakCaptain: Hmmm 😠

OctobotKing2.0: It's gonna be regular music, I swear! Jeez!

SquidbeakCaptain: ...Fine.

TheEelDeal: This is gonna so epic! Can't wait to see the baby!

Big Man Time!: We'd better go figure what to get for the baby shower and fast!

The Fresher 3: Tell Eight and Four I said hi, Cap!

SquidbeakCaptain: Don't worry, I will 👍

DJHyperfresh: We have a lot of work ahead of us, people.

DJHyperfresh: Let's do this! ✊🏽

Chapter Text

[New Squidbeak Splatoon Server] (8:54 a.m.)

SquidbeakCaptain: So just to make sure, you managed to find a good catering company for the event?

DJHyperfresh: Yep! Also Octavio and I have the playlist and music equipment ready to get set up.

RollingInkGirl: And Marie and I managed to find a good venue that was on a discount!

MCPrincess: I could've helped out, y'know...

420 Splat It: We agreed that we weren't going to overspend.

420 Splat It: And there is no way you would've held back because spending money is your love language.

The Fresher 3: What he said 👆

MCPrincess: Ugh fine, I get it!

MCPrincess: Just get the gifts for the baby shower and perform at the wedding. No spending on preparations.

SquidbeakCaptain: Thank you

SharkBandit: Btw didn't you say you didn't want to discuss the preparations over Minecraft?

SharkBandit: What made you change your mind? 🤨

SquidbeakCaptain: That was before I realized that our Minecraft server was WAY more secure and private than discord or in-person.

LowTideSnipe: Ah...

SquidbeakCaptain: Moving on, one last check on the preparations.

420 Splat It: Venue?

LowTideSnipe: Check.

420 Splat It: Catering?

TheEelDeal: Check!

Big Man Time!: Are we allowed to bring some homemade food? 🥺

SquidbeakCaptain: As long as it's non-alcoholic. We don't want Eight or the baby having any complications.

Big Man Time!: Ay sir! 😊

420 Splat It: Moving on... marriage official?

OctobotKing2.0: I have a legal permit to officiate weddings so we're good.

RollingInkGirl: 😐

The Fresher 3: Erm... 😦

SquidbeakCaptain: Uh... actually...

CraigCuttlefish: Just let him do it. He's not gonna take no for an answer. 😒

OctobotKing2.0: 👆

SquidbeakCaptain: Ugh fine!

420 Splat It: I'm pretty sure we're good on the music and entertainment so we can just skip that.

SharkBandit: And we're all good on suits and dresses for the event, right?

TheEelDeal: Well... aside from those of us from Splatsville.

LowTideSnipe: We have some spare dresses and suits that you can borrow.

SharkBandit: Really? Thank you, boss!

The Fresher 3: A little off-topic but real quick, what is everyone doing atm?

SquidbeakCaptain: You mean in the game?

SquidbeakCaptain: Well, Four and I just started on that new house for us and Eight to share.

420 Splat It: We finished up the first floor a few days ago. We're gonna start on the second floor after the wedding and once the baby is born.

LowTideSnipe: Nothing much, just mining for more material.

RollingInkGirl: Same 👆

MCPrincess: Ditto 👆

CraigCuttlefish: Octavio and I are gonna go on a deepsea treasure hunt later today.

OctobotKing2.0: Did you make sure to bring a door for the air bubble?

CraigCuttlefish: Yes I did 👍

TheEelDeal: We're working on adding som decorations to the base.

SquidbeakCaptain: What kind of decorations exactly?

Big Man Time!: A cafe, maybe some flowers beds for the fountain area, stuff like that!

TheEelDeal: Just to give the server a more modern feel to it~

RollingInkGirl: Ooo that sounds great~! Can I help out too?

SharkBandit: Of course! The more help we get, the sooner we'll be able to finish the cafe.

SharkBandit: We're still low on building materials btw.

LowTideSnipe: I think I still have some spare blocks in one of my chests.

420 Splat It: Ok then! I'm back! Just had to use the bathroom, check on Eight, and then go over the list again.

The Fresher 3: I barely even noticed you left 😐

420 Splat It: All that's left is the guest list.

SquidbeakCaptain: Well obviously everyone here is invited.

OctobotKing2.0: Obviously 🙄

420 Splat It: Anyone else we should invite?

RollingInkGirl: Well we have the shop owners, the two Judds, Spyke and Murch.

TheEelDeal: But some of them might be busy on the day of the wedding.

MCPrincess: True 👆

RollingInkGirl: I know! I'm saying that they are members of this server and so they deserve to get an invite.

RollingInkGirl: We can just add that, if they're too busy to attend, they don't have to.

DJHyperfresh: I don't think any of us have even mentioned the pregnancy to any of them.

DJHyperfresh: Annie, Moe and Crusty Sean know something's up with Eight, but not what it is.

420 Splat It: Don't worry. Three and Neo Three are gonna DM them about it later today or early next morning.

SharkBandit: If that's the case, why not a session of Minecraft?

CraigCuttlefish: Yeah! You lot deserve a break from all the hard work you put into the wedding!

SquidbeakCaptain: Well... alright. Eight should be sleeping right now so maybe an hour will be alright.

The Fresher 3: Yay! C'mon let's go to the Mollusk Desert!

(10:25 a.m.)

MCPrincess: FUCK!!! Marina help me, these zombies are being a pain in the ass!

DJHyperfresh: What happened?! Why are they trying to kill you??

MCPrincess: I'm in the mines! I split off from Callie and Marie to see if I could find anything on my own.

MCPrincess: Instead I ran into a bunch of zombies!!!

LowTideSnipe: So that's where you went...

RollingInkGirl: I was wondering where you were for a while 🤔

The Fresher 3: Lol skill issues.

CraigCuttlefish: OCTAVIO HELP THIS SHARK WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE

OctobotKing2.0: Caps lock, Craig 😒

OctobotKing2.0: Don't worry, I'll be there soon. Just gotta loot this treasure box first.

420 Splat It: Damn. First session in a long while and it's already gotten chaotic.

SquidbeakCaptain: I love it. Can't wait for Eight to join us in this chaos again.

> Murch has joined the game.

> Spyke has joined the game.

> Annie&Moe has joined the game.

> MCPrincess hit the ground too hard whilst trying to escape Zombie.

Murch: Damn. We just got on and the deaths are already happening.

Spyke: Least this time it wasn't one of us lmao.

MCPrincess: Freaking zombies! 😡

MCPrincess: Also hey guys! It's been a while! 👋

RollingInkGirl: Hi~! 👋

Annie&Moe: H-Hello everyone. I was a-able to fi-ind time to log on toda-ay.

Annie&Moe: So w-what's up?

LowTideSnipe: Nothing much really. Just the usual.

MCPrincess: SHIVER LOOK OUT!!! CREEPER!!!

SharkBandit: Oh fuck! I did not see that thing!

LowTideSnipe: As you noticed, we also have some new server members since the last time you guys were on.

Murch: Yo new guys.

TheEelDeal: Oh hey! You're that guy who sits around the Splatsville Square area.

SharkBandit: I also know that you seem to be surrounded by Inklings and Octolings after every Splatfests. 🤔

Murch: That's because my job is to help them with their ability slots in exchange for Snails.

TheEelDeal: Snails? Do you mean... one of the rewards given from the Splatfest?

Murch: Precisely! 👍

Big Man Time!: Btw Annie, how have you been?

Annie&Moe: O-Oh I'm good! I recently reopened-d my shop b-back at the Plaza...

LowTideSnipe: Wait really?

LowTideSnipe: I mean, I'm happy for you but...

RollingInkGirl: You don't like to be around people.

SquidbeakCaptain: What she said 👆

Annie&Moe: T-That's true... but I-I don't completely hate social i-interactions.

Annie&Moe: I-I guess I just miss the s-sound of customers wa-alking around the shop and c-chatting excitedly about hats...

SquidbeakCaptain: I'll gladly drop by and buy a hat from you.

RollingInkGirl: Same!

TheEelDeal: Me too!

Annie&Moe: 😊

420 Splat It: What about you Spyke?

Spyke: I've been good but shut up for a moment.

Spyke: I just finished reading up.

TheEelDeal: Oh

MCPrincess: Shit...

Spyke: What's this I hear about a baby and... a wedding?

Annie&Moe: W-Wha...? 😧

Murch: Baby?! WEDDING?!??

SquidbeakCaptain: Remember that Halloween party where we had that drinking contest?

SquidbeakCaptain: We accidentally knocked up Eight.

Annie&Moe: Oh...

420 Splat It: We planned on having kids later in life but that doesn't mean we're getting rid of this baby.

OctobotKing2.0: The smart and safe choice.

DJHyperfresh: We're planning a wedding so that the baby won't grow up with unmarried parents.

LowTideSnipe: Which again isn't a bad thing but people would think otherwise.

Murch: And you guys didn't think to tell the rest of us??

Murch: Here I thought we had something special... ☹

SquidbeakCaptain: We were planning on telling you guys later.

Big Man Time!: We're just taking a small break from planning before going over the guest list.

Annie&Moe: S-So that's what's up w-with Eight...

Annie&Moe: I'm g-glad to hear it-t wasn't anything serious i-in a bad wa-ay.

Spyke: Any ideas for names?

420 Splat It: We already have the list ready and no we won't accept any suggestions.

420 Splat It: Also we don't know the gender yet. We're planning to find out with one of those gender-reveal cake thingies.

SquidbeakCaptain: 👆 It'll be at the baby shower.

MCPrincess: Which is pretty stressful because that makes finding a gender appropriate gift harder to do 😒

SharkBandit: I doubt that'll be a problem considering how LGBTQ friendly our group is.

TheEelDeal: Exactly.

Murch: Oh nice. Were you guys planning to announce the pregnancy, wedding, and baby shower at the same time?

DJHyperfresh: Pregnancy and baby shower first. We were gonna announce the wedding a week afterwards.

DJHyperfresh: Mostly to make sure everything was going according to plan.

SquidbeakCaptain: If things go right for us, the wedding will be held in two months from now.

420 Splat It: We're just working on the guest list rn.

Spyke: Sweet 👍

SquidbeakCaptain: Do NOT tell anyone about this before we do.

SquidbeakCaptain: And don't go posting on social media about it either.

Murch: Why not?

TheEelDeal: ...Is he serious?

LowTideSnipe: The reason why is because 3 different idol groups are attending as guests AND entertainment for the wedding.

RollingInkGirl: Not to mention that the ruling monarch of the Octarians and one of the generals from the Great Turf War too.

DJHyperfresh: If this gets out, there comes the risk of people harassing the friends in our group and maybe try and make a scandal out of this.

SquidbeakCaptain: Exactly so PLEASE keep this to yourselves.

Spyke: Alright, fine I'll shut up about this.

Murch: Secrets safe with me!

Annie&Moe: My l-lips are sealed... and I-I'll make sure-e Moe keeps qu-quiet too.

Spyke: For someone who's so shy, you're surprisingly assertive and scary when it comes to Moe.

Annie&Moe: T-That's because Moe has been a n-negative impact to m-my business lately.

Annie&Moe: Customers w-were complaining ab-bout terrible service. I had t-to put my foot down-n.

RollingInkGirl: Respect 👍

LowTideSnipe: Mad respect 👍

SquidbeakCaptain: Sorry to cut this short but I think Eight is waking up. Gtg now 👋

420 Splat It: Same with me. Bye guys 👋

> SquidbeakCaptain has left the game.

> 420 Splat It has left the game.

Spyke: Are we allowed to bring our own guests?

DJHyperfresh: I think so, yeah.

MCPrincess: How many are you bringing?

Spyke: A few.

MCPrincess: Define a few...

Spyke: Some?

LowTideSnipe: Define some. 😠

Spyke: Several?

OctobotKing2.0: Define several... 🗡

Spyke: ...A few.

> Spyke has left the game.

TheEelDeal: oop.

The Fresher 3: I have a feeling this is not gonna end well...

Big Man Time!: Well... we can deal with it when we get there...

Murch: We're doomed. 🤦♂️

Chapter Text

"Hey guys! Thanks for coming!"

Callie's cheerful greeting made Three sigh a little. She has been like this since this morning because it was time for the baby shower. The preparations for the shower was relatively easy and quick, so it was a matter of whether the guests would show up or not. So far the Squid Sisters, Cuttlefish, Octavio, Annie and Moe, Murch, and Spyke were here, with Crusty Sean and Bisk having just arrived. The shower was being held at one of Pearl's vacation homes since the agents' apartment was too small for everyone to fit.

"Glad I could make it!" Crusty Sean greeted back. "Where do we put our gifts?"

"Look for a table with a purple and pink striped cover," Callie explained as she let the prawn inside, "It should be next to the snack table."

"Thanks. And hey Three! Congrats on the baby!"

Three just gave a half-smile as Sean walked by. The Inkling wasn't bored or annoyed, he just had a restless night and wasn't very expressive due to exhaustion. He and the Squid Sisters had went over the wedding preparations last night, mostly the cost of everything, and he stayed up later than intended.

"You still tired?" Marie asked, holding out a tray of snacks. "I told you not to stay up so late."

Three rolled his eyes and took some of the food from the tray. He wasn't in the mood to argue, especially since the idol was right. The doorbell rang again, prompting Callie to pause her conversation with Spyke and Murch and rush over to open it.

"Oh hey Neo! Glad you could make it!" Callie greeted before letting the latest agent inside. "Where are Shiver, Frye, and Big Man?"

"Unfortunately they had a Splatfest to prepare for, but they made sure I brought their gifts for them," Neo explained, gesturing to the big bag that was slung over their shoulder.

"Oh yeah. Well it's nice of them to send their regards!"

Three turned to Marie with a questioning look. Come to think of it, didn't the Squid Sisters also have a performance scheduled for the Splatfest too? While he was touched that they were here, why were they wasting time at the baby shower when they had Splatfest preparations to take care of?

"We have our agents handling it," Marie explained, knowing what Three was wondering the moment he looked at her.

Three nodded at her answer before getting up and heading upstairs. He wanted to check up on Eight before the gift unwrapping and big reveal of the baby's gender. The moment they arrived, the Octoling immediately went upstairs and collapsed on one of guest beds but he should be awake now.

"Are you guys sure this looks good?" Three heard Eight asked from inside the bedroom.

"O-Of course! You l-look great!" Annie's voice replied.

Three opened the door and was met with a surprising sight. Eight was standing in front of a mirror and was currently wearing one of those maternity shirts that was loose-fitting, his stomach big and round from his pregnancy. Annie was currently sitting on the bed with a pile of folded shirts, no doubt more loose-fitting clothes meant for Eight.

The actual surprising part was the appearance of Jelonzo and Jelfonzo in the room with them. How did the two jellyfishes get inside the house without him or Callie noticing? Did they take the wrong door and Annie let them in without telling the rest of them?

"Try t-this one next! I-It has a cute pink-k kitty on it!" Annie said excitedly while holding up the shirt.

"Why are we doing this again?" Eight asked, not liking how he was basically being treated as a dress-up mannequin.

"That's what I like to know." Three commented, startling the four other occupants of the room.

All eyes turned to the Inkling who was casually leaning against the doorframe. Eight actually looked relieved at the interruption and went over to his boyfriend. Three smiled as the Octoling gave him a peck on the cheek before turning to Annie and the two jellyfishes.

"Annie, how did they get in without us knowing?"

The anemone stuttered and twiddled her fingers nervously as she tried to explain. Jelonzo and Jelfonzo weren't faring much better as they simply looked away, faces slightly purple from blushing. Fortunately Eight was able to explain the situation on their behalf.

"Don't get mad at them, hun. Jelonzo and Jelfonzo have a huge shipment order later today and couldn't stay for the whole baby shower," the Octoling explained to his boyfriend, "So they didn't want to cause a fuss and came through the backdoor to drop off their gifts."

"U-Unfortunately, they g-got carried away and had-d Eight model the clothes f-for refitting and adjustments-s." Annie added. The two jellyfishes nodded and bowed their heads in apology.

"Well... I guess it's alright since it wasn't anything serious. Just call us next time instead of sneaking in behind our backs," Three told the jellyfishes who saluted in response, "With that out of the way, Eight mind trying this one on next?"

Eight gave the Inkling a deadpan stare as he held up one of the shirts with a not-so-innocent smile.

"No, we are playing my song next!" Four growled as he shoved Octavio away from the computer. Marie sighed as she watched the two fight over the music list and gave Spyke and Bisk a side-glare when she heard them make a bet. She really wished that gramps was here but he was currently out buying a gift so there wasn't anyone to calm Octavio down.

"Hell no, that song is way too bright and cheery," Octavio argued, "At least my song is catchy."

"It's dubstep! It's catchy in a repetitive way which gets old pretty fast!"

"You greasy little poser!"

Ignoring the computer now, Four and Octavio began rolling around on the floor while screaming and pulling at each other. Seeing that they were gonna be at it for a while, Callie took the opportunity to change the music. Everyone else present in the living room were going about their business while occasionally glancing at Four and Octavio.

"By the way, I forgot to mention it earlier but nice facial hair," Marie said to Spyke, "Definitely suits you."

"Thanks, though it kinda just grew out without me noticing," Spyke admitted with a toothy grin, slightly embarrassed.

"To be fair, your business has been rather time-consuming lately," Murch remarked.

"True. Fortunately I'll be on vacation for a while in a few weeks."

"Vacation?" Marie asked.

"I heard that the Plaza has been gaining some popularity again," The urchin explained, "Guess I got a huge dose of nostalgia since that was where my business started. The old shack I lived in should still be there too."

"Is it even sanitary for you to use?" Marie asked, her tone slightly concerned.

"Meh. A little cleaning doesn't scare me."

"I'd come and help you settle in, but my business in Splatsville is gonna be busy after this next Splatfest," Murch said with a sigh.

"Damn. Sucks to be you."

The younger urchin pouted as Spyke and Marie chuckled a little. After calming down, they began talking about other stuff like recent interactions with relatives and friends while blissfully ignoring Four and Octavio's struggle that was still happening. It was honestly a surprise that nothing got broken during their fight...

"How did you take the news of the pregnancy?" Spyke asked Marie. "I know how much you consider Four as a little brother so I want to hear your thoughts."

"I... was surprised... and in denial," Marie confessed, "I love Four like a little bro, and I'm happy for his relationship, but... I was worried a baby might be too much for him, Three, and Eight to handle."

Spyke nodded in understanding. It makes sense for Marie to think that way since a baby is a lot of responsibility, even with three parents and a large group of friends and family helping out. It takes a lot of planning, such as finances and time management.

"You care a lot about the kid," The urchin commented, Murch nodding in agreement.

'That would be an understatement,' Marie thought sarcastically to herself.

Several years ago, Four helped her save her cousin Callie from Octavio's revenge despite not knowing her or the Squid Sisters. Ever since, the male Inkling has been a constant in their lives. Marie won't lie and say that there was a period of time where she thought she had a crush on Four but quickly realized very early that it was more of a familial love.

"Four is a capable guy, despite his tendency for chaos," Marie said, getting a snort from Murch, "But with everything going on in his life lately, I'm not sure if he'll be able to handle it by himself."

"I personally don't think we have much to worry about," Murch remarked, "Like you said, Four is a capable guy. So I have no doubts that he can figure something out, especially with Three and Eight with him."

The younger urchin was gonna say something else before Four and Octavio rolled past them, still arguing about the music list. It seems they didn't notice or didn't care about Callie changing the music earlier. The trio watched and waited for them roll away out of earshot before Murch spoke up again.

"And even if he can't figure something out, he has us to watch his back," Murch finished, "So you're justified to be worried for him. Just... have more faith in him and us, alright?"

With that said, Murch excused himself to the snack table with Spyke following soon after. The green Inkling was left pondering in silence before realizing the urchin had a point. Marie cared deeply for her family and friends, but because she was so used to being the mature "mom friend" of the group, she tends to have little to no faith in her family and friend's ability to make independent decisions.

They were right about Four being a capable adult and she was going to try to have more faith in his decision-making. If he messes up, the Inkling had Marie and everyone else to look out for him. With her mind made up, Marie got up and joined the two urchins at the snack table while blissfully ignoring the loud yelling in the background.

"Still can't believe they're still arguing," Callie remarked, "You'd think they'd at least take a break at least."

"To be honest, I think Four's nervous about the gender reveal," Bisk reasoned with the pink Inkling, "So he's just using the fight as an excuse to distract himself until then. And Octavio caught on and decided to play along."

"True... Four is defensive about the things he like, but not to the point that a fight would last this long." Callie agreed.

More people were now arriving to the shower now and Bisk decided to keep Callie company while Sean and Neo Three went to the backyard to play basketball. Sheldon arrived a few minutes ago with his two new assistants, Shelly and Donny, and now they were playing with Sean and Neo Three. The next to arrive was a fellow named Iso Padre, an old friend of Eight from the Deepsea Metro.

"When is the baby's gender gonna be revealed?" Bisk asked, mostly to double-check.

"Hmmm..." Callie looked at the clock before answering, "Exactly an hour from now. We're waiting until then so that everyone attending can catch up with each other and stuff."

Bisk nodded before staring off into space, lost in thoughts. Callie heard the doorbell and went to open it, revealing Judd and Lil' Judd, which caused the pink Inkling to squeal before picking them both up and carrying them inside. Seeing the furry creatures, Iso Padre became interested and came over.

"And who are these, exactly?" He asked Callie.

"Oh right! Eight said you only recently left the Deepsea Metro," Callie remembered, "This is Judd and Lil' Judd! They're both part of a species called a cat."

"Very soft looking... may I?"

"Of course! They both love attention as long as you're gentle!"

With Callie's approval, Iso Padre cautiously reaches out to the two cats who in turn leaned into his touch. Seeing that the three of them are getting along, Callie decided to give them space to get to know each other. She noticed Bisk was spacing out and got curious about what he might be thinking about.

"Hey Bisk?" Callie said as she walked over to the spider crab. "You wanna get in on the action with the Judds?"

Bisk turned to see Callie gesturing to Iso Padre interacting with the two Judds. The spider crab seemed to consider the offer before shaking his head and going back to spacing out. While Callie wasn't as close to Bisk like Sean or Pearl and Marina, she knew that he has a soft spot for cuddly things so him turning down a couple of cuddly cats made her concerned.

"Something up, big guy?"

"I think I'm in love with Sean."

Well... that wasn't what Callie was expecting. The blunt, deadpan confession caught her off-guard and she did a double-take. Even Iso Padre turned to look at the spider crab before going back to playing with the Judds.

"Oh! When did you realize this?"

"Remember when he started his Wandercrust travels?" Bisk asked, not giving Callie time to respond before talking again. "We've been keeping in touch during a majority of his travels... and I guess it just... happened?"

"Oh wow! So are you considering confessing or...?"

"Are you kidding? There's no way Sean likes me that way!"

"And how do you know that for sure?" Iso Padre questioned, taking a seat near Bisk and Callie. The two Judds were sleeping on his shoulders.

"For one, Sean is straight," Bisk said matter-of-factly, "I've never seen him show any interests in guys. At least whenever we hang out or talk over video or text."

Callie wanted to say something but held her tongue. Sean actually found out he was bisexual several months ago, but she wasn't going to reveal that to Bisk. Sean's sexuality was his own business so the prawn had to be the one to explain it.

"And even if there was a slim chance he liked dudes, he might not like me back," Bisk continued, "What if our relationship gets so awkward that he doesn't want to be friends anymore? What he feels disgusted by me?"

The spider crab started rambling about the different reasons why he shouldn't confess, his mouth foaming which caused his words to sound more muffled. Iso Padre got tired of his rambling and smacked Bisk over the head, waking up the Judds as a result. At least the smack did its job and got Bisk to stop rambling.

"Better now?"

"A little bit, yeah..."

"Good. Now I may not know you or this Sean guy very well, but I say you are being ridiculous over this," Iso Padre said bluntly, "If you two are really friends, then Sean wouldn't leave over something like this."

Bisk tried to say something, but Callie cut him off.

"Padre's right! You and Sean might be close, but I've known him longer," The Inkling reminded, "And I know him well enough to say that he isn't gonna leave you for not reciprocating your feelings."

She then placed a hand on Bisk's shoulder, her tone becoming softer, "If you want proof, then tell him how you feel. Sure it might awkward for a while like you said, but it's better to confess than to bottle it up and be haunted by the constant 'what if' for the rest of your life."

The spider crab stared at Callie for several minutes before letting out a defeated sigh. They... had a point about this whole situation. Bisk was being irrational and looking for an excuse to avoid confronting the object of his affection. Sean was... he was an amazing guy... what the hell was wrong with Bisk? Thinking lowly of the tiger prawn and assuming the worst?

"Tonight," Bisk said with conviction, "I'll tell Sean tonight after Three, Four, and Eight reveal the baby's gender. I'll pull him aside and tell him then and there."

"That's the spirit!" Callie said cheerfully.

"A courageous choice, my young fellow," Iso Padre nodded in approval while reaching up to scratch Judd and Lil' Judd on the head.

After that, Callie left to go check if anyone else showed up at the door while Bisk and Iso Padre discussed things with each other. When she looked at the clock, she was surprised by how close it was getting to the gift wrapping and gender reveal. Guess she was having a lot of fun and got distracted!

There were still a few guests that she was hoping would make it to the shower, but if they were too preoccupied with other stuff, then it's no hard feelings.

Time has passed and it was finally time for the gift unwrapping and gender reveal.

Jelonzo and Jelfonzo have finished getting Eight's measurements and have left to get their gifts readjusted. The two jellyfishes actually considered using the balcony to get out but Three was having none of that and forced them to use the front door. To say that the other shower attendees were surprised by their appearance was an understatement.

During that time, Pearl and Marina and Damp Socks were able to make it to the shower. They intended to arrive sooner but they were finishing up a concert in a different city and then got stuck in some traffic. On the bright side, they had time to come up with a ton of new songs while in traffic. Needless to say, the members were getting along pretty well with everyone present. They especially got along with Craig because of his crab cakes.

"Alright everyone! Gather around while the threesome opens their gifts!" Callie told everyone, before getting bonked on the head.

"I told you not to refer to them as that!" Marie scolded. "It could give people the wrong idea."

"Sorry..."

"Marie..."

"I know, Gramps... I don't need to hit to get my point across."

With that little interaction out of the way, the throuple began opening the gifts. The contents were actually rather predictable, as they were meant to make parenthood and raising the baby easier. Pacifiers, teething rings, baby bottles, little onesies (those were Three's favorite gifts), a stroller, a few toys, and so on. There were a few gifts that were for the parents rather than the baby, such as a new microwave and some blank canvases and a painting kit. The throuple were very grateful to their friends for these.

"Before we move on to the main event, I would first like to thank everyone for coming and showing their support," Three said, prompting some cheers and applause, "We weren't expecting to have a kid so soon, and we were clearly unprepared. But you guys have supported us through this when you didn't have to, especially since some of you only found out recently."

"And with that said, time for the gender reveal!" Three declared, causing more cheers and applause. The Inkling turned to face the Squid Sisters and nodded his head towards the kitchen. Understanding what he meant, the two cousins rushed into kitchen and returned seconds later pushing a server cart with a large three-layer cake covered in gray fondant and frosting.

"We didn't know how many people would be attending so we went with a big cake," Four explained to everyone, though some of them weren't listening as they eyed the cake with drool coming from the corner of their mouths.

"Quick question, what flavor is the cake?" Murch asked. "Because I'm allergic to blueberry."

"It's vanilla-chocolate swirl," Marie told the urchin, "It's just gonna be dyed blue or pink to tell us the baby's gender."

During all of this, Callie would occasionally glance at Bisk and would sometimes see Iso Padre do the same. Guess the two of them managed to hit it off pretty well. Back to Bisk, he seemed pretty nervous given the subtle shake of his body though no one else noticed since his facial expression hasn't changed. Callie didn't blame thr spider crab since it was almost time for him to confess his feelings to a certain prawn. All the pink Inkling can do was pray and hope for the best.

Back to the throuple, Eight picked up the cake cutter and slowly cut into the cake. Mainly to make things more dramatic and suspenseful, but also because the Octoling was as anxious as everyone else. A few people even felt a rising urge to yell at Eight to hurry up, but refrained to avoid stressing him out even more.

"And the baby's gender is...," Four declared as Eight carefully pulled out a piece of the cake to reveal... a blue cake, "A BOY!!!"

At his shout, confetti cannons went off as the room filled with loud cheers and applause. Everyone went up one at a time to congratulate the three agents on their baby boy. Neo Three and Octavio being the most enthusiastic out of them all. After that the Squid Sisters and Craig worked together in cutting the cake and handing the pieces out to the other attendees. Because they were the parents, Three, Four, and Eight get to have as many as they want while everyone else only gets two each.

The next few hours were spent either talking amongst each other or dancing to the music. Marie was talking with Marina and the members of Damp Socks, Annie was with Iso Padre and the two Judds, Sheldon and his assistants were discussing weapons and weapon facts with Eight, and everyone else was just relaxing or having a rap battle. Asode from the occasional screaming from Pearl or Octavio, the room had a pleasant and welcoming atmosphere to it.

Through all of this, Callie suddenly remembered about the whole Bisk and Sean situation and started glancing around the room for either of them. She immediately noticed the spider crab approaching his crush and the two of them exchanged a few words before Bisk motioned for Sean to follow him somewhere. The tiger prawn seemed confused, and a little concerned, but nodded and followed his best friend to the backyard.

'Oh jeez...,' Callie thought before taking a bite of her cake, 'Here goes nothing, I guess. Also damn, I didn't expect the cake to be this good.'

Minutes later, Bisk and Sean came back inside and the pink Inkling let out a sigh of relief and joy. Bisk had a notable bounce in his steps and Sean's face seemed more red than usual. Guess things went well for the two of them! A new couple was formed, the event went well without any complications (minus Four and Octavio's arguing), and everyone is enjoying themselves.

Callie could safely say that this baby shower was a great success!

Chapter Text

[New Squidbeak Splatoon Server] (6:30 a.m.)

> RollingInkGirl has joined the game.

RollingInkGirl: It's almost time for the wedding!!! WHO'S EXCITED?! 🥳 🥳 🥳

LowTideSnipe: I'm excited too but we still got a few weeks before the event so chill.

Bisk: I agree with Marie. I'm quite looking forward to the wedding, but we should all be calm about this.

> Spyke tried to swim in lava.

> Murch hit the ground too hard.

SharkBandit: Oop–

Murch: We were getting wood when Spyke saw a Creeper. We were trying to get away from it and fell into a ravine.

MCPrincess: Judging by how Spyke died, I'm guessing there was lava near the bottom.

Murch: Pretty much. 😅

Spyke: Fucking creeper wanker... 😑

Spyke: I set a spawn near the trees we were cutting for wood. I need to go back for the stuff I dropped.

Murch: Same... wait for me!

OctobotKing2.0: Pfft skill issues.

> Flow has joined the game.

> Iso Padre has joined the game.

DJHyperfresh: Flow! Padre! Glad you two could make it!

Flow: Glad to be here guys. It's been a while! 😊

Iso Padre: I am still new to all of this surface technology, but I would say I am doing well.

RollingInkGirl: Oh shoot, I keep forgetting that you're still new to all of this.

Iso Padre: It's all good, Callie. At least Eight and Marina have been teaching me since I came up from the Metro.

Iso Padre: Pearl tried to help, but... I think it is better we don't discuss it.

DJHyperfresh: Agreed. 👆🏽

MCPrincess: Normally I would be offended, but you guys are right. It's better to leave it alone.

> Spyke was blown up by Creeper.

> Murch was blown up by Creeper.

TheEelDeal: Damn! 😦

Iso Padre: Oh dear...

The Fresher 3: It seems like Spyke and Murch are the pain magnets for this session...

MCPrincess: I am quite happy about that. Usually it's either me or Four who are the pain magnet.

DJHyperfresh: I won't lie and say it's nice to have the chat not get clogged with death messages about you for once.

RollingInkGirl: Same!

SharkBandit: A little off-topic, but who is this Flow? I do not recognize her. 🤔

The Fresher 3: Shiver has a point. I also never saw her at the baby shower.

Flow: I actually intended to show up to the shower but then a family emergency came up.

Flow: I was gonna text Three about it, but then I forgot...

TheEelDeal: Mood.

Murch: Mood.

RollingInkGirl: Mood.

SharkBandit: Mood.

Big Man Time!: In any cases, it is nice to officially meet you, Miss Flow! 😁

Flow: Thanks! It's very nice to meet you all as well!

> Murch tried to swim in lava.

The Fresher 3: Murch, what happened? Why did you die?

Murch: I remembered seeing some diamonds and gold down in the ravine.

Murch: Forgot to bring a bucket of water...

OctobotKing2.0: Again, skill issues.

CraigCuttlefish: Octavio, be nice! 😠

OctobotKing2.0: Pfft, why should I? What are you gonna do?

CraigCuttlefish: ...

> OctobotKing2.0 was shot by CraigCuttlefish using Bamboozle.

LowTideSnipe: Damn, Gramps! 😧

RollingInkGirl: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! 🤣 🤣 🤣

OctobotKing2.0: YOU FUCKING SHOT ME?! 🤬

Iso Padre: Quite amusing.

Iso Padre: Quick question, but who else is here at the moment?

RollingInkGirl: Oh! Well, aside from the ones that are currently using the chat, Bisk and Sean are currently having a boat date at the panda sanctuary.

TheEelDeal: Which is really cute as heck. 🤭

RollingInkGirl: The Judds are currently farming slime balls. So they're currently in the monster pit slaughtering a bunch of slime cubes.

The Fresher 3: I swear those two are a bit too into it...

RollingInkGirl: Annie and Sheldon are showing Shelly and Donny around the server and helping them build their own house.

RollingInkGirl: And I think that's about it.

Flow: Where is the throuple at?

LowTideSnipe: At home at the moment. They're just spending time and enjoying each other's company and plan to shop for some rental wedding suits tomorrow.

DJHyperfresh: Again, cute as heck.

Big Man Time!: Ay!

Flow: And the jellyfishes?

DJHyperfresh: I think it's their day off work today(?)

DJHyperfresh: So I think they just decided to not come on and just relax.

MCPrincess: Wish they could've at least logged on to help me finish that project we were working on... 😒

LowTideSnipe: What are you guys planning anyways?

MCPrincess: It's a secret project! We'll tell you guys when it's ready!

Flow: Btw what was this about a wedding Callie mentioned earlier?

LowTideSnipe: Oh yeah. She wasn't there for the announcement at the shower.

The Fresher 3: How did you guys forget that small detail??

LowTideSnipe: It was a small detail! We were more focused on the baby shower and gender reveal over everything else!

LowTideSnipe: Btw Flow, the baby is a boy.

Flow: Awww cute! 😊

Bisk: HOLY MOTHER O SHIT–

CrustySean: Never... EVER... convince me to go back there again...! 😰

The Fresher 3: Damn, where's the fire?

Big Man Time!: Is everything alright?

CrustySean: Hold on... need to stop... my heart... from beating so fast... phew!

CrustySean: That is the last time I let you drag us to the Nether!

Bisk: Sorry! I didn't know we'd get surround by that many piglins! The fort look pretty empty when we came across it!

RollingInkGirl: What.

LowTideSnipe: Why were you guys in the Nether?

CrustySean: We were actually planning to go hang out at the Trilobite Treetops after our panda sanctuary date.

CrustySean: But then we noticed Iso Padre logged on so Bisk came up with the brilliant idea–

Bisk: I said sorry!

CrustySean: –Of getting some Nether loot as a welcoming gift and as thanks for helping us get together.

DJHyperfresh: That's so sweet of you guys! ❤

TheEelDeal: Totally! ❤

Iso Padre: All I did was give some words of encouragement. But I appreciate the gesture regardless.

The Fresher 3: That actually reminds me that I need to get something for Smallfry for when he gets whitelisted.

SharkBandit: Wait. He's still not a member yet? 🤨

MCPrincess: Neo Three said that they don't a spare computer for Smallfry. In other words, the two of them have to share a laptop.

SharkBandit: Ah okay. I get it now.

Annie&Moe: Hey guys.

RollingInkGirl: Oh hey Annie!

CraigCuttlefish: I'm guessing you and Sheldon are done with your little tour for those two youngsters, right?

Sheldon: Indeed we are. Their house is still under construction, which we plan on completing during our session.

Sheldon: But for now, work calls so this is our farewell for now.

Shelly: It was really fun! I hope we can have lots more fun in the future!

Donny: ...In the future!

CraigCuttlefish: Alright then, take care you lot. Stay safe!

Annie&Moe: We will. S-See you guys at t-the wedding!

> Sheldon has left the game.

> Shelly has left the game.

> Donny has left the game.

> Annie&Moe has left the game.

CrustySean: Oh yeah! What Annie said actually reminded me of something.

CrustySean: Do you guys have the catering planned already?

Big Man Time!: I can answer that! They already do but said we can bring some extra food.

DJHyperfresh: We're trying to avoid greasy food though for the baby.

CrustySean: In that case, I'll bring my blender and make juice and smoothies.

OctobotKing2.0: You got any Mark-Shaker Cocoa?

CraigCuttlefish: I'd like Quick-Jump Orange please.

CrustySean: Guys take it easy. It's been a while since I've made any drinks so I might be sloppy.

CrustySean: Wait until the wedding.

RollingInkGirl: He has a point 👆

RollingInkGirl: And OMIGOSH I wish the wedding day would come already!

MCPrincess: I know! I want my little adopted sibby to get hitched already!

DJHyperfresh: Patience you guys. They'll get hitched soon enough in a few weeks.

OctobotKing2.0: I'm more worried about having any party crashers or no-shows.

DJHyperfresh: Which is understandable I suppose...

SharkBandit: While many of us are able to make time to show for the event, others may not receive the same luxury.

Bisk: I can guarantee that I am certainly gonna make time for the event.

Flow: Same!

LowTideSnipe: Regarding party crashers, we have some of our agents and a few members of the Octarian Army for security, remember?

LowTideSnipe: Octavio, you were even the one who recommended those Octolings in the first place, even setting up an interview for us to get to know them.

OctobotKing2.0: Oh yeah... It was a while back so I must've forgotten.

CraigCuttlefish: If I recall correctly, the invites said that we can each bring a plus one to the wedding. What if a "plus one" was... problematic?

RollingInkGirl: Then the security people will deal with it. But that shouldn't be a problem, right guys?

Spyke: ...

LowTideSnipe: ...Is there something you wanna tell us, Spyke?

Spyke: ...

MCPrincess: Spyke... what did you do?

> Spyke has left the game.

MCPrincess: SPYKE U BITCH-

DJHyperfresh: Murch, do you know what's up with him?

OctobotKing2.0: If he does something to ruin Eight's big day...

Murch: Nope, sorry. He wouldn't tell me anything.

Murch: If I go radio silent for a while, it's because I'm currently running away from the Warden.

TheEelDeal: You're WHAT— 😳

Big Man Time!: Oh my! Are you okay?! 😨

Murch: We found one of those temple thingies and he just kinda... left so now I'm dealing with it alone.

SharkBandit: Hang in there, Murch. The cavalry is on the way!

SharkBandit: Neo, Frye, Big Man!

The Fresher 3: Already got some diamond swords ready.

TheEelDeal: Anybody need some potions? Cause I got plenty of them!

Big Man Time!: I got some horses and camels for mounted combat!

Murch: I fucking love you bastards... 🙏

Flow: Good luck, Neo Three and Deep Cut! 👋

DJHyperfresh: Back to Spyke and his mystery plus one, we can handle him.

MCPrincess: We have top-notch bodyguards and soldiers as the security squad.

OctobotKing2.0: We'll roast them posers 🔥 🔥 🔥

CraigCuttlefish: Octavio...

Iso Padre: ...

RollingInkGirl: Padre? Why the quiet?

Iso Padre: Oh sorry! I was lost in thoughts.

Iso Padre: I just... can't seem to shake this foreboding thought in the back of my mind...

Chapter Text

It was a bright and early morning in Inkopolis, signaling what could hopefully be the perfect day for a wedding. Everything was going well with the preparations, the guests were all dressed and ready for the event, and the security assigned for the event were all vigilant and alert for any trouble, so it really makes you wonder if anything could go wrong. Well... considering the group of individuals you're talking to...

"What the fuck are these streamers doing here?!" Callie roared at some of the staff working for the ceremony, "We said to use yellow, orange, and pink streamers! These are purple!"

"Callie, calm down," Marie said before a hand on her cousin's shoulder, "Maybe there was a mix-up, or they couldn't find and afford the streamers in the colors we told them to use."

"Marie. We gave them specific instructions that we took the time to carefully explain, and they still managed to screw it up!" Callie threw her hands up in frustration, "This is Three, Four, and Eight's wedding and it has to be perfect!!!"

Seeing that she wasn't gonna convince her cousin otherwise, Marie gave up and joined Deep Cut who were currently seated near the buffet table. Noticing their boss' tired expression, the idol group handed her a plate filled with a bunch of different foods. Sending them a grateful nod, Marie sat down and starting digging in to the food.

"Yikes! You must be really tired if you're eating that much," Shiver remarked, wincing the lack of manners from Marie.

"Yeah... Callie's just really anxious about making the wedding perfect and is pissed that the staff we hired for the wedding was getting even the simplest details wrong." Marie said with a shrug.

"I personally think the wedding is going pretty well, despite the minor detail inaccuracies," Frye said cheerfully, "It shouldn't matter as long as everyone is enjoying themselves, right?"

"You do have a point there," Marie conceded.

"Ay ay ay, (I didn't expect Miss Callie to be such a bridezilla,)" Big Man commented, "Ay ay... (Especially when it's not even her wedding...)"

Big Man's bandmates simply nodded in agreement while Marie shrugged. Callie was always someone who went the extra mile to make the people she cares about happy. Unfortunately that also means she tends to be an extreme perfectionist and a little short-tempered as a result. She's gotten better over the years, but there were still moments where she flips out if things don't go as expected, like Marie's 16th birthday or the recent anniversary celebrating the forming of the New Squidbeak Splatoon a few months ago.

"Just let her get it out of her system," Marie suggested before getting up from table, "She'll be better by the time of the ceremony. In any cases, I need to go check on the security crew and maybe even patrol the premises myself."

"Are they still going at it?" Sean asked as he handed his boyfriend a smoothie. Upon arriving to the venue, he noticed a small bar section in the corner of the place and decided to take it over for the duration of the wedding. Not to mention he kind of missed the feeling of making food and drinks for others, though in this case he's only allowed to make drinks because of Eight's pregnancy.

Bisk said nothing as he nodded before downing the smoothie handed to him. At a nearby table was Annie, Flow, and Harmony, all dressed up in nice dresses and currently having what appears to be a brawl to the death. Things between them had been pretty calm and friendly earlier, but then Harmony made a comment about wanting the bouquet and now the atmosphere around those three was tense as hell. The final straw was when Flow accidentally spilled some juice on Harmony's dress and the girl accused Flow of doing it on purpose. They got into a brief argument which turned into a three-way fist fight when Harmony shoved Flow, causing the sea slug to bump into Annie and splashing the anemone's drink all over her face.

"Yeesh, I just hope they can get their act together before the ceremony," Sean remarked, "Callie is not gonna be very pleased."

"It's a good thing we have the jellyfishes on wardrobe patrol then," Bisk remarked, gesturing to Jelfonzo who was standing near the girls with a disapproving expression in his eyes, "Even if their hair are beyond help, at least their dresses will be salvageable."

Sean let out a small chuckle before clinking his cup of tea against Bisk's smoothie. After the two of them got together at the baby shower, they've been having a pretty good and steady relationship. The tiger prawn has been making more frequent breaks and visits from his Wandercrust adventures and actually found himself missing the more slow-paced style of living. During their last date, Sean even told Bisk that he planned on completing his Wandercrust travels and return to Inkopolis, even re-opening the Crust Bucket. The spider crab had been pleasantly surprised by his boyfriend's decision but was also concerned about whether this is what he really wanted, to which Sean reassured him that it is.

"So have you decided when you plan on finishing up your travels?" Bisk asked as Sean prepared him another smoothie, "I know you're planning one final trip, but you didn't really specify where it will be and when you'll come back."

"I'm still deciding on where to go," Sean admitted, "But I plan on coming back and staying in Inkopolis around next year at the start of summer."

"In that case, I'll be sure to help you pack. I'll even prepare my finest traveling shoes for you at a discount price!"

"Ha! Thanks, babe! I'll be sure to think of you every time I decide on what shoes to wear every morning!"

The two boyfriends shared a laugh before clinking their drinks again. As they savored their drinks, a loud primal cry was heard which startled them, with Sean in particular almost choking. Turning to see what was happening, they saw that Flow was currently pinning Harmony to the ground, hands tightly gripping the pink anemone girl's hair as the sea slug ruthlessly slammed her head into the floor. A few members of the security team were currently trying to separate the two while a few others were tending to Annie, who was currently unconscious with a huge concussion on her forehead.

Yikes... looks like the jellyfishes are gonna have a long and busy day ahead of them...

"Holy carp, I am an idiot," Eight spat at his reflection in the mirror before covering his face with his hands, "Why the fuck did I think I could do this?"

The Octoling was currently in a dressing room which was graciously provided by the venue. The throuple decided to do that thing where the groom and bride are not allowed to see each other until the altar, so Three and Four were also provided their own separate rooms. In truth, everyone was slightly worried when Eight suggested this idea during the planning stage, but the Octoling eventually managed to convince them that he'll be fine on his own.

Now that they were actually separated, however...

"Why the hell did I think this was a good idea?!" Eight groaned, slapping the side of his head repeatedly, "I'm pregnant! I need supervision and support! Why did I even suggest that dumb old tradition?!"

He misses his boyfriends and wants them by his side so much. Even if it's just for a few hours until the ceremony, he was feeling so restless without anything to do aside from fixing his makeup at the mirror or taking naps every once in a while. Not to mention that he was so hungry and craving something fierce thanks to the precious little brat developing in his stomach. He was so busy feeling miserable that he didn't hear the door opening and someone coming in until he felt that someone's hand on his shoulder. Eight shrieked at the contact and jumped up in surprise, turning around with his fists ready to fight the mysterious person.

"Whoa there, my friend! It is just me!" Iso Padre said with his hands raised in front of him. Seeing that it wasn't a threat, Eight calmed down and let out a sigh of relief. Giving him a small apology, the Octoling then collapsed back on to the dressing room couch.

"What are you doing here, Padre?" Eight asked before adding, "Not that I don't mind your company. I just thought you'd be with everyone else at the venue, especially the Judds."

"Actually both the Judds are here with me now," Iso Padre said, prompting Judd and Li'l Judd to pop out from behind his shoulders, "And I came here because I thought you might be hungry. I even asked Sean to make you a smoothie."

Seeing the tray of food that Iso Padre set down on the table, the Octoling immediately lunged forward and started stuffing his face while still being careful not to spill anything on his suit. Iso Padre settled down on the couch next to Eight while the Judds got off his shoulders and started exploring the room. After finishing off the food, Eight fell back into the couch with a sigh of content while Iso Padre looked at the spotless tray in disbelief.

"Thanks, Iso Padre. I really needed that..." Eight smiled.

"It is no problem, my friend. Care to explain what's got you so stressed to the point of hunger?"

Eight seemed reluctant at first but after receiving an encouraging nod from Iso Padre, the Octoling immediately went into a long rant about what's getting him down. He told the former Deepsea Metro resident about how lonely he's been feeling without Three and Four, how he's regretting his choice about going traditional for the wedding, and is overall miserable because of the whole pregnancy thing. The isopod listened intently to what his little friend says and did his best to not miss a single detail. They were so focused on their conversation that they didn't notice the Judds approaching them with accessories. They didn't even react as the two Judds played dress-up using them as the models.

"What am I supposed to do until the wedding? I wanna head out and mingle, but there's also the risk I'll run into Three or Four," Eight sniffed before wiping his nose with the feather boa around his neck, "But I'm also bored as heck and lonely and don't want to be cooped up in here!"

"Quite the predicament indeed," Iso Padre mused, stroking the fake beard on his face courtesy of the Judds, "If you want, the Judds and I can stay here with you until the wedding. That way you won't be lonely until the ceremony."

"But then you'd miss out on spending time with the others. Not only that, what if you get hungry or... something?"

"Eight. I appreciate that you want me to be out there mingling with everyone else since this is my first in-person event with people," The isopod then placed a hand over Eight's, "But you are my best friend, thus my top priority. Not to mention it would wrong of me to let one of the grooms be miserable at their own wedding."

"I... t-thanks, Padre," Eight sniffed, "Sorry for being such a worrywart."

"It's no problem. And regarding your question earlier, if I'm hungry then I can just go grab something and then come back."

"True... and, sorry for making you go out after just bringing me some food, but can you go out there and get me some of Craig's crab cakes?" The Octoling asked timidly, "And maybe some cool ranch and mustard to go with it?"

"I'll even drop by Sean's bar for another smoothie," Iso Padre chuckled before getting up to head out for a food run.

Eight smiled and nodded as he made himself comfortable and waited for the isopod to come back with more food. Judd and Li'l Judd were both thoroughly tired from their makeup session earlier and curled up on Eight's lap to sleep. The Octoling cooed at their adorableness until a large feather fell over his face, finally alerting him to the dress-up session the cats have been giving him earlier during his talk with Iso Padre.

"What the heck were you two cuties up to...?" The only response were the Judds' purring as they nuzzled into him.

"Hey, Sean! What's happening right now?" Four greeted the prawn with a fist-bump before taking a seat at the bar.

"Not much is really happening, aside from Annie, Flow, and Harmony trying to kill each other earlier," Sean responded, passing the Inkling a smoothie, "They're currently being kept separated by the security team until the ceremony."

"Oh yikes... at least they aren't kicked from the wedding?" Four chuckled, trying to look on the bright side of things.

The tiger prawn let out a snort but didn't say anything as he polished some of the empty glasses. Four took a chug of his smoothie and looked around the wedding venue. Despite the small number of attendees due to it being exclusively friends and family (and plus one invites), it was a very lively affair given the colorful cast of characters present at the event. Just like Sean said, Annie, Flow, and Harmony were all placed far away from each other and were each accompanied by a security guard, though they still exchanged glares whenever they get a glance of the other females. Callie and Marie were making their rounds and inspecting everything, with the pink Inkling going off on the staff whenever she sees the slightest mistake and the green Inkling cutting in to calm her down. Pearl and Octavio were arguing over what music to play and everyone else was currently on the dance floor either dancing or just socializing.

"Hey, Sean? There are a few people missing from this venue," Four pointed out, "Mind telling me where they are?"

"Three and Craig are both by the entrance to greet the guests," Sean explained, "Three is probably helping out to have something to do until the ceremony. Iso Padre and the Judds are keeping Eight company, Sheldon and the twins will show up later after handling a weapon shipment for Ammo Knights, and Bisk left for the airport to pick up my plus one for the event."

"Your plus one? Who is that supposed to be?"

"My nephew Fred Crumbs," The tiger prawn answered, "He's actually planning to move to Inkopolis and take over selling shoes at the Plaza."

"You have a nephew?" Four asked in surprised, "Come to think of it, you have siblings?"

"Adopted sister," Sean clarified, "She was legally adopted into my family by my parents around five years ago. Fred was already a teen or young adult by then... it's complicated."

"Ah... I see..." Four nodded in understanding before noticing something else, "Wait a second, where's Spyke and Murch? I don't see them anywhere."

"Yeah... they aren't here yet... probably picking up Spyke's plus one... or ones, if the previous few sessions mean anything," Sean said, not liking or trusting Spyke's judgment much either, "That urchin better not do anything to ruin today..."

Four frowned and nodded in agreement; they put in a lot of planning and expenses into this wedding and Spyke better know that he's on thin ice for being so secretive about the guests he's bringing. With that though in mind, the Inkling decided to trust his darling Three and Craig with dealing with that mess when it happens. He also noticed that Neo Three was missing as well, but considering how no one else seemed worried, they were probably alright. That was when he remembered something Sean said about Eight earlier regarding Iso Padre and the Judds.

"What did you mean when you said Iso Padre and the Judds were keeping him company?"

"Eight's been feeling anxious and lonely in his dressing room so they decided to stay with him for moral and emotional support," Sean explained to the groom, "And also bring back some snacks and stuff for him. I think Iso Padre dropped by the bar to get Eight a smoothie, like, five times now."

Four hummed thoughtfully and nodded before frowning a little. He really wanted to be there for his boyfriend, but they were doing the whole thing where the people getting married can't see each other before the ceremony. So for now, he'll have to entrust Eight's well-being and mental stability to an isopod and two cats. It was a good thing that Three was with Craig at the front at the moment, because he would've gone "fuck it" and head immediately to Eight's dressing room. As Four took a sip from his cup, he started thinking about what kind of gifts he can get for Iso Padre and the Judds for their act of service at this event.

"Hello, Mr. Coco! Glad that you could make it!" Three greeted as the coconut crab entered the venue.

"Hehe, glad to be here!" He responded bashfully, "Truth be told, I wasn't expecting to be invited since I'm not all that close to anyone here aside from Neo Three and Jel La Fleur."

"Technically you were invited as a plus one," Craig clarified before quickly adding, "But we're glad you're here all the same. Plus it'll be your chance to make some new connections!"

Mr. Coco's eyes seemed to sparkle before they returned to normal. After the coconut crab went inside to join the rest of the wedding attendees, Three gave his former mentor a small glare. According to Neo Three, Mr. Coco was rather emotionally sensitive in spite of his intimidating appearance. Craig noticed the glare but chose to ignore it as he nervously whistled to himself, much to Three's disappointment. Seeing someone approach, the older Inkling took this as an opportunity to get away from his former student's criticizing gaze. He opened the door and was about to greet the next group of guests when he was suddenly knocked to the ground. Startled by this, Three immediately rushed over to help the older Inkling up before sending his most murderous glare towards the group.

The group in question consisted of four adult males, one jellyfish, two Inklings, and one Octoling. All of them were wearing very fancy clothes with expensive looking accessories. Not to mention the bored and uncaring expressions on their faces at the fact that they just nearly bulldozed over an old man who was also a war veteran. But before Three could say something harsh to them, he saw two familiar urchins enter the venue with looks of regret and shame and he immediately understood. Ah... these must've been the plus ones that Spyke was bringing to the wedding.

He made a mental note to deep-fry Spyke later for this.

While the staff came over to help with Spyke's plus ones for the wedding, Three tugged harshly on the sleeve of the sea urchin's suit. The urchin in question clearly knew better than to anger the Inkling further and stood in place while Murch went ahead. After making sure Craig was alright first, Three pulled Spyke behind the reception desk and glared at him, the sea urchin doing his best to not make direct eye contact with him.

"Spyke. Eyes on me when I'm talking to you," Three said through gritted teeth, "Who the fuck did you bring to my wedding with Four and Eight?"

"...My business partners," Spyke answered meekly, "They work for the CEO of a major company that wants to make a deal with my business. Maybe even an official partnership depending on how well it goes."

Any other time, Three would have been happy that his friend was given such an opportunity, but today was his wedding day and Spyke's business partners were already proving themselves to be huge bastards. He could already see the mayhem that this will cause: Marie holding back Callie as she tried to stab them with a fork; Four holding Eight as the Octoling cried his eyes out from insults aimed at him for his pregnancy; Octavio calling in his Octobot King mech out of nowhere to crush these business partners into a colorful, powdery paste. The amount of horrible things that could potentially happen only made Three even more anxious and close to his breaking point.

He probably would've gone over it if Spyke hadn't slapped him back to reality.

"Ow!" Three hissed as he rubbed his swollen cheek, "First off, thanks for that. Second off, slap me again and you will lose that hand."

"Noted," Spyke nodded, "Look, Three, I really am sorry about this. The times for my meeting with those wankers and the time for the wedding clashed with each other, so I thought I could kill two birds with one stone by inviting them here and discussing business after the ceremony. Now I'm starting to think this might be a bad idea..."

"Ugh... it's fine, Spyke," Three sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, "I'll have Craig go alert the security and staff about your business buddies. Better tell Callie and Marie too so that we can prepare the others."

"So you're not mad?"

"Oh no, I'm furious but there are more important matters right now to address. You owe me, Four, and Eight big time for this later."

"That's fair..."

"Anyways, let's get you inside the action..." Three said as the two of them got up from behind the reception desk to notice Murch coming through the entrance again. This time he was accompanied by what looked like a computer screen attached to a pole on seems to be a modified roomba. Off to the side, Three saw Craig chatting with Bisk and Fred Crumbs, Crusty Sean's adopted nephew who was moving to Inkopolis in a few weeks.

"What's that..." Three started before Spyke interrupted him.

"The CEO. They're extremely shy and don't like interacting with others face-to-face," The sea urchin explained, "So they sent... that thing... in their place. They're actually much nicer than those other guys you met earlier."

"...You definitely owe us big time for this."

"I know..."

It was half an hour later and some of Three's worst case scenarios came true; the business partners, aside from their CEO, were being complete assholes, though they weren't causing as big a scandal as Three thought they would. For most of the pre-wedding party, they were mostly walking around and criticizing everything and everyone they came across, occasionally flirting with a few of the other attendees in a creepy manner. They were being huge jackasses and making everyone else uncomfortable, but nothing too severe. Another fortunate thing that happened is that most of the attendees mostly ignored or actively avoided them to not cause drama, leaving it up to Spyke and Murch to handle them. But for some reason Three can't help but feel his spine shiver; as if something that involved huge drama was about to happen...

"I don't know how much longer I can tolerate these guys," Sean snarled as he aggressively wiped the glass he was holding, "If they come to me and order something weird, like that tomato and blueberry with ranch smoothie, I will go ballistic!"

"And here I thought Eight would've been the one at this event with the weird taste," Bisk whispered to Three and Sean, causing them to snort and chuckle. Four was currently at the front with Craig since Three was too paranoid about the business men to stay put. Not to mention Four got tired of them after ten minutes and wanted an excuse to get away from them.

"By the way, why are we having a party again?" Bisk asked Three with a curious look in his glasses-covered eyes, "Not that I don't enjoy a good party, but isn't it suppose to be an after-wedding thing?"

"We're having another party after the ceremony," Three replied, "This party is mostly for everyone to catch up with each other or get familiar with some new faces. And also for everyone to have something to do until everyone arrives and the ceremony begins."

"I see... by the way, how did you and Four manage to switch places? Aren't you doing that thing where the people getting married can't see each other before the ceremony?"

"Emphasis on 'see' each other, Bisk," Three said with a sly smile, "Four and I were staring at the ground the entire time we were talking to each other and we didn't look up until we were sure that we were in different rooms."

"Clever use of the loophole," Sean nodded in approval, "Want another spot of tea? The next batch should be finished in a few minutes."

"Later. One of them is causing trouble again," Three said through gritted teeth. One of the Inkling business men was talking with Flow and from the sea slug's expression, she was very uncomfortable and close to punching the man in the face. The security guard assigned to watch her was also looking at the business man with faint disdain. After taking a closer look, wasn't this the guy who was flirting with Annie and Callie earlier? Meh, it doesn't really matter that much, they both taught the jerk a lesson and now he was actively avoiding them.

"I'll start up a batch for you for later then," Sean mused out loud, "Good luck, Three."

"No need to tell me twice."

After Three left, Sean and Bisk exchanged some banter, mostly talking about Bisk's trip to the airport to pick up Fred Crumbs. It was a fairly short trip since the airport was pretty close to the venue. However, they went through a bit of traffic on the way back so they took a few detours, resulting them in getting back later than expected. Sean was just relieved that they made it back and were unharmed. The tiger prawn was also happy to hear that Bisk and Fred bonded a little on the car ride back.

"Psssst! Sean!" A voice whispered.

Sean looked over and saw Eight crouched behind a huge potted plant. Judd and Li'l Judd were both hanging off his shoulders, though that wasn't the detail that surprised him. Eight was wearing a white suit in contrast to Three and Four's black ones, but he was also wearing a large tiger stripe coat that reaches down to his ankles, along with some gold chain bracelets and a huge purple hat decorated with paper flowers and feathers.

"Eight? I thought you were gonna stay in your dressing room until the ceremony?"

"I got bored so I decided to go with Iso Padre this time," Eight explained, getting up from behind the plant, "Judd and Li'l Judd are helping me keep an eye out for Four and Eight so I can hide."

"And Iso Padre?" Bisk couldn't help but asked when Eight joined him at the bar.

"He should be talking with Off the Hook and Octavio at the moment. Two milks and a smoothie please."

"Coming right up," The tiger prawn gave a salute before turning around to prepare their order.

While waiting for their order, Eight swung his legs as he hummed to himself and looked around the room, making sure to avoid looking at Three. The atmosphere of the party was pretty casual with a hint of awkwardness, a consequence of the business men being all snobby and making the wrong comments. Spyke and Murch did their best to keep them in check alongside the security team but they still managed to make things tense and ruin the mood. At least the CEO was aware of their attitude and apologized on their behalf, even offering to repay or compensate for them. How can someone so shy and polite have such bastards to represent their company and business?

"Excuse me, but do you have a moment for a chat?"

Startled by the voice, Eight turned to see that it was the other Inkling business man and wondered where he came from. The Judds were sitting nearby, eyes narrowed in suspicion and disdain at the sudden appearance of a stranger. Not to mention they were hungry too so they were one misstep from going full-on feral.

"Erm, sure? What exactly did you want to talk about?" Eight said politely while keeping his distance.

"I simply wish to introduce myself to my fellow wedding attendees and I'm talking to you specifically since I haven't seen you around before," The Inkling explained, false innocence and sincerity in his expression.

"Okay then... I, er, actually need to leave soon but I suppose I have a few minutes to spare," In truth, Eight really wants to get out of here but still wanted to be nice since he was a guest for the event. Fortunately or unfortunately depending on how you look at it, the business man didn't seem to notice his discomfort and began asking Eight about various things about him, like hobbies and interests. The Octoling can only hope that Sean and Bisk can intervene for him since the two crustaceans were literally right next to them. And if they can't do anything, he can always let loose the Judds on this guy to make him leave him alone.

"Your attire is quite interesting," The Inkling hummed, looking Eight up and down, "Where did you get it?"

"O-Oh actually it was Judd and Li'l Judd who picked it out," Eight explained, scooting away slightly, "They looked so proud, I couldn't bring myself to take the extra things off."

"Rather considerate of you~"

The questions continued after that and Eight did his best to keep his answers short and to the point. Judd and Li'l Judd were now quietly hissing at the business man, whiskers twitching and fur standing on end. They were really not liking this guy, especially now that he was making one of their favorite people uncomfortable and anxious while he was carrying a kit. They were about to pounce when Sean placed two saucers of milk in front of them, with a look in his eyes promising to handle the bastard if he crosses the line. Deciding to trust the tiger prawn, the two Judds began drinking their milk while keeping a close eye on the conversation happening next to them.

"Erm, as nice as it was to chat with you, I'd best get going!" Eight got up from his seat and was about to leave and find Iso Padre when a hand grabbed his upper arm, making him flinch and stop in his tracks.

"Come on~! Just a little longer~?" The man pleaded, his tone indicating that he was whining a little.

"I-I... well..."

"Ah there you are, Eight!" Iso Padre exclaimed, coming over to the bar, "I was wondering where you were."

Eight has never felt so relieved in his life... with the exception of that one time Three saved him from getting blended. Seeing that the business man's attention was now on Iso Padre, the Octoling quickly but carefully took his arm back from the creepy Inkling. Which was a very good thing too since the Judds looked ready to make sashimi out of the guy and Sean and Bisk looked like they were gonna let them do that.

"And you are...?"

"Eight's uncle," The isopod answered, quickly adding, "Adopted uncle to be clear. Now c'mon, Eight, I need to introduce you to some people I've met."

Before the creep could say anything, Iso Padre quickly grabbed Eight and dragged him away from the inevitable ass-kicking that was about to ensue. Once they were out of sight, the business man felt a chill go down his spine as the Judds and crustacean boyfriends glared at him while his back was turned to them. The Judds got on all fours while hissing loudly, Sean snapped his pincers in anticipation, and Bisk cracked his knuckles with a gleeful glint in his eyes. Before the business man could react, the four of them pounced on him, inflicting unspeakable acts of violence on his person. While the beatdown was going on in the background, Eight couldn't help but lament the fact that he was pulled away before his drink order was ready.

Iso Padre and Eight both went over to where Off the Hook and DJ Octavio are. Pearl and Marina were currently in charge of the music while Octavio is taking a break, having a rap battle with Big Man. Shiver and Frye were sitting at a nearby table watching the battle while cheering on their bandmate. Nearby Neo Three was crawling along the floor and pulling up covers to look underneath tables, as if they were looking for something. Come to think of it... where the heck was Neo Three during the whole party? This was the first time that Eight has seen them at all, not to mention from what Iso Padre had told him, Deep Cut had arrived to the wedding without Neo with them.

"Hey Eight! I'm guessing you got bored sitting around?" Pearl asked when she noticed the Octoling and isopod come over.

"Yeah... I can only go so long without doing something productive," Eight chuckled slightly.

"...Was that creep bothering you by the way?" Marina asked, placing a hand on Eight's shoulder, "We saw how he was getting rather... close... to you."

"We also saw the Judds, Sean, and Bisk pummeling him into oblivion," Shiver added, causing Frye to snort and let out a small laugh. The tanned Inkling had recorded the whole thing, though the footage was a little blurry because of how far away they were. They were gonna share the video with the rest of the server on Three's discord after the wedding.

"Nah, I'm good. I just... think I need a little nap and then head back to my room. The ceremony should be starting soon..."

"What time was the ceremony again?" Iso Padre wondered out loud.

"It's supposed to be around noon," Shiver answered, nonchalantly pulling out a pocket watch, "It's currently 10:50. So we've got another hour and ten minutes to go."

"Nice getup by the way," Frye complimented, making Eight blush as he realized he hasn't taken off the extra accessories.

"I think I'm gonna head back and take a nap. This was way more excitement than I expected," The Octoling chuckled lightly, "For me and the baby."

"You sure? We were gonna go over the next Splatfest we're hosting in a few weeks," Frye pouted.

"After I take my nap. See you guys later."

With that, Eight waved farewell to Deep Cut and Off the Hook as Iso Padre escorted him back to his room. When they walked pass a table occupied by the jellyfish and Octoling businessmen, Eight heard something that made him stop in his tracks. Iso Padre noticed that he stopped walking and turned to check what was wrong. Eight was completely unresponsive as he listened in on their conversation, hoping that they weren't talking about what he thought they were talking about. When it turned out that his hearing was right, the Octoling slowly clenched his hands into fists and started trembling slightly.

Maybe because it was because of his pregnancy, the fact that he was currently exhausted mentally and physically, or even both, but Eight turned and marched towards the two businessmen with a look that promised violence.

"Holy shit this is so boring!" Four groaned as he leaned against the wall.

"If it's so boring, then why don't you go join the others inside?" Craig suggested, partially out of annoyance.

"Tradition? Not seeing the grooms before the ceremony?" The younger Inkling reminded, "I can't go back in there and just stare at the ground the whole time I talk with Three. I can't control myself for longer than a few minutes."

"My god, you three are borderline obsessed with each other."

"Dude. We are technically child soldiers and ignoring the fact that it has mostly been peace lately, we all have some trauma from our time fighting against Octarians and scientific horrors trying to erase all life," Four said, gazing deep into Craig's soul and making the older Inkling feel... so, so small and insignificant.

"Ah... right. Sorry for... you know," Craig looked away in shame, since he was the one who recruited Three and Eight.

"It's fine. We don't resent you guys for bringing us into the fight, nor do we have any regrets if it means saving people," The orange Inkling reassured, "Though I do wish you'd let Three have more days off to spend time with us..."

"He gets the weekends off already! Don't be greedy!" Craig scolded, to which Four responded by sticking out his tongue.

After that little discussion, the two of them went back to waiting for new guests to arrive, though both of them are pretty sure that everyone that got an invite is now here. Four was actually tempted to leave and grab an ice cream since he remembered seeing a parlor when he got to the venue earlier. But he quickly shoved that thought aside because that would mean getting everyone else ice cream too, not to mention a risk of getting his rental suit dirty. Fortunately, some excitement finally happened to help with the boring atmosphere as Callie rushed out of the room to where they were. Unfortunately, it seems to be the bad kind of excitement given the worried and panicked expression on the pink Inkling's face.

"Four, get your ass in there! It's Eight, he's pissed as all hell!" Callie said in between breaths.

The male Inkling didn't need to hear anything else after that and immediately rushed into the other room to see what is going on. What he was met with was a pissed off Eight holding a folding chair over his head while being held back by Iso Padre and Octavio. Across from them were the Octoling and jellyfish businessmen on the ground cowering in fear as two security guards stood in front of them, though even they were unnerved by the angry groom. Everyone else was watching the events unfolding from afar with varying reactions to what was going on, most were concerned and scared while others (namely the people that the businessmen pissed off) were hiding their amusement. Four noticed Three nearby and they locked eyes for a moment, before they rushed forward to Eight's side.

Screw the wedding traditions. Eight was upset and needed them right now.

"Eight, chill out!" Four said once the two of them were in front of the Octoling, "No need to get upset."

"But Four! These... these assholes, had the audacity to say such things in my presence!" Eight said, narrowed eyes focused on the two businessmen.

"If it was that bad, then we should let the CEO or the security team handle them!"

"But-!"

"Eight, please calm down," Three said calmly though still concerned, "If not for us, then for the baby. All this anger must not be good for you or him."

Almost immediately, the Octoling calmed down as if someone had pushed his off button. Seeing that he wasn't gonna be hurting anyone anymore, Iso Padre and Octavio carefully let go of Eight as he slowly sunk to the ground. He was so caught up in his anger that he forgot he was carrying a baby inside him. Tears started running down his face as he berated himself for causing a scene at his own wedding and for almost harming his baby. Seeing their fiancé so sad, the two Inklings quickly got down and held Eight and tried to reassure and comfort him.

While the fiancés were having their moment, almost everyone's attention immediately turned to the two businessmen who were without a doubt at fault for Eight's earlier anger. A majority of the attention was full of suspicion and disdain, but some like the CEO, were of disappointment and, in Spyke's case, shame since the sea urchin was the one who invited them. While Callie and Marie helped the three fiancés back to Eight's room, the other guests began surrounding the Octoling and jellyfish businessmen as the security guards coincidentally noticed something to the side and looked away just as the verbal beatdown began.

Once Eight was settled into the room provided to him, Four and Three immediately worked to help their fiancé calm down while the Squid Sisters went back out to grab a glass of water for Eight. By the time they came back with the water, the Octoling was a lot calmer now and gladly took the water from them. The other occupants of the room waited until Eight finished the whole glass before asking him about what happened earlier and why he went ballistic. He was still a little embarrassed and ashamed about his behavior, but knew that they'll find out sooner or later and he would prefer if they heard the story from him. Basically when he was walking back to his dressing room earlier, he heard a snippet of their conversation and it turns out that they were making offensive insults towards the other partygoers.

Normally this wouldn't have been so bad since they've been acting atrociously for a majority of the time they've been here. But these insults in particular also included some... very offensive slurs, and some sexist and racist remarks. Complaints about Sean and Bisk's obvious relationship, jabs at Shiver and Marie for wearing suits despite being girls, and so on. That was enough reason to get pissed off at those man-children, but the thing that really set off Eight was their comments about Four and Eight specifically.

"I'm really sorry for losing it, I really am," The Octoling said sincerely, "But I just... I couldn't just take the shit they were spouting and just move along."

Now that they knew why Eight lost his temper, they were more understandable and just as upset as he was. Especially Callie since she tried so hard to make this a happy and memorable day for her little brother figure and his significant others, and now Eight is all upset. And when Eight is upset, that means Four and Three are upset as well. The pink Inkling was tempted to head back out there and join the beatdown on those two bastards, but decided to stay for Eight. She walked over to Eight and placed a hand on his shoulder, gently patting him as reassurance.

"It's alright, Eight! Those guys were jerks so you were right to get upset!"

"Though he could've handled it a little less... violently," Marie pointed out.

"True, but I personally think those jerks need a lesson in humility," Three added, ignoring the pain from Four's punch to his shoulder, "They need to learn the harsh way, me thinks."

"I'm not denying it, but I'm not agreeing with you either, "Four glanced at his yellow boyfriend with narrowed eyes, "I'm more surprised that someone as nice as their CEO would hire people like them."

"Maybe it's because, crappy personality aside, they're actually competent at their jobs?"

"Probably the case... still can't believe those guys kept their jobs this long..."

The topic of the conversation was now changed from finding out why Eight got upset to bashing on the businessmen and their horrible attitudes. Though slightly taken aback by how quick the topic switched, Eight was happy about the change since it allowed him to think and talk about non-stressful things. It also helped that Callie had such a... colorful language, which made it even more amusing in a way.

Callie looked at the time on her phone and was surprised to see that it was now eleven, twenty-five. She excused herself as she and Marie left to see if the others were finished with chewing out the bastards and make sure everyone was prepared for the ceremony. With the two cousins gone, it was just the three fiancés left with each other. It wasn't a bad thing; they enjoy just being in each other's company and having these moments of comfortable silence. The moment was ruined by Neo Three opening the door and popping their head into the room.

"Erm, sorry for interrupting the moment," Neo chuckled nervously, "But have you guys seen Smallfry? I can't fin him anywhere..."

"Smallfry is missing?" Three asked in shock.

"Yeah... when we arrived to the venue, we were together," The Splatsville resident sighed, "But after I went to get a drink from Sean, I lost him!"

"And it's really close to the ceremony too..." Eight murmured in worry.

"Well... I'm sure he'll show up eventually. He loves Neo too much to be separated from them for too long," Four reasoned, trying to stay positive.

"I guess you're right..." Neo murmured, still doubtful.

"He does have a habit of popping up in random places," Eight reminded, remembering his recent visit to Splatsville and getting spooked by the little Salmonid, "And he's always made his way back to you eventually."

With that point brought up, Neo Three conceded and decided that Smallfry will show up when he wants to show up. The four of them spent the next few minutes chatting and discussing things like the recent few Splatfests and other noteworthy events that occurred before the wedding. Three glanced at the clock and brought the others' attention to the time. It was eleven forty in the ante meridiem... twenty minutes before the ceremony and for them to get ready and fix up their makeup and suits. Neo Three wasted no time in grabbing both Four and Three and pulling them out of the room, ignoring the older agents' protests.

"You two need to fix up your appearance," Neo reminded the two of them, "Just because you're not doing that tradition shit anymore doesn't you guys have to walk down the aisle at the same time."

After the three of them left, Eight let out a small chuckle before turning his attention to the dressing mirror. During his confrontation with those two businessmen, his makeup got a little runny and his suit had gotten ruffled up due to being held back by Iso Padre and Octavio. While the guests likely won't care about how he looks, the least he could do was look presentable after acting so inappropriately in front of them.

At last, it was finally time for the ceremony after what felt like an eternity. Everyone was seated as they waited in anticipation for the three grooms to make their way to the podium, where Octavio stood as the officiant. After the problems they've caused, the businessmen were seated at the far back of the rows of chairs away from the others, with Spyke and Murch and the security team also in the back to make sure they behave themselves. In the middle section of the seats were all of the shop owners from all over Inkadia, with order being Plaza, Square, Splatsville in terms of closest to farthest from the podium. The ones seated at the very front were the Squid Sisters, Off the Hook, Deep Cut, and Neo Three, as they were the groomsman and bridesmaids... or in this case groomsmaids.

The doors to the room opened and everyone turned to see Three and Craig Cuttlefish entering. Out of the grooms, Three was the one who arguably needed the least time on getting ready and fixing up his appearance. He looked very calm and stoic as his former captain escorted him down the aisle, but on the inside, he was both panicking from fear and joy. Craig had to quietly tell Three to loosen his grip on the older Inkling's arm and take some breaths. Three did just that but he didn't feel any calmer at all.

"You've got this, Three!" Callie whispered encouraging as they passed her row and reached the podium.

Everyone turned back to the door to see who will be up next to walk the aisle. That someone turned out to be Four, who was being escorted by Bisk since the orange Inkling's family was unfortunately busy and couldn't make the event, though they did send their regards and support for their marriage. Four smiled and gave a wave to everyone as he walked by, which received a greeting and a few small applause in response. As he neared the podium, the orange Inkling noticed that Three was staring at him and wiggled his eyebrows with a smug smile. The yellow Inkling rolled his eyes but returned the smile as Four joined him at the podium, with Bisk quickly leaving to his seat.

With Four up front with Three, everyone turned back one final time to see the last groom make his way inside, bouquet in hand. Out of the three, the Octoling's appearance was the one that needed the most fixing considering his constant moving around along with his earlier freakout. Fortunately Iso Padre and Judds came in clutch and were able to make him presentable. Not only that, they also got the honor of walking Eight down the aisle as the Judds went in front and scattered flower petals while Iso Padre was the one who escorted the Octoling to the podium. Eight gave a small glare at the businessmen bastards (he was still a little peeved) before changing his face to a warm and friendly smile to everyone else. Neo Three had to resisted the urge to roll their eyes when they saw how enamored Three and Four looked as Eight joined them at the podium.

"Alright, alright, everyone kindly shut the fuck up so we can get this over with," Octavio said in a slightly annoyed tone. Once everyone went silent, the Octarian king continued, "I'm pretty sure everyone here is tired of this shit and want to skip right into the after party. We all already know how much these three idiots are disgustingly in love with each other, so fuck the vows and let's get right into the ring exchange and kissing. Raise your hand if you agree!"

Octavio raised his tentacle and slowly but surely, everyone else eventually raised their hands, claws, whatever else they have for limb. The pre-wedding party was pretty draining and most of the guests were beginning to feel exhausted. Even the grooms raised their hands because they just want to get married already... and it's also because they couldn't come up with any vows in time for the wedding since they've been focused on Eight and the baby.

"Good. Since we're all in agreement, Neo, get up here with the rings!"

"Okay, okay, calm your tits!" Neo Three grumbled as they stood up with a small tray that had three intricately designed rings. They walked forward and held up the tray to the throuple, each of them taking one ring each and turning to each other. Four slipped his ring on to Three's finger, Three gave his ring to Eight, and Eight had some trouble but managed to fit his ring on to Four's finger.

"I now pronounce you three, dumbasses in love. Now kiss so we can all take a nap before the after party!" Octavio declared in a commanding tone.

Eight didn't need to told twice as he quickly lunged forward and smacked his lips against Four's for a few seconds before doing the same with Three before the yellow Inkling could have the time to react. This immediately got a squeal out of a majority of the female guests, causing the rest of the attendees and staff to covered their ears to block out the high-pitch sound. Though slightly dazed from Eight's surprise attack, Four and Three still had enough control of their body to exchange a kiss between themselves that was less intense than their kiss with their Octoling fiancé-turned-husband but was every bit as affectionate. When the two of them parted, Eight immediately pulled them into a hug which Three and Four returned with matching chuckles. The throuple was so drunk on each other's attention and company that they completely blocked out everything else, such as the guests' applause and cries of joy for them.

Until a couple of screams broke the moment, making everyone turned to look at what was happening. The sight before them was rather amusing, causing several people to laugh out loud despite their surprise. Somehow the businessmen have gotten covered in what looked like an elastic goo, the substance sticking to their tentacles and suits. Before anyone could ask about the goo, a huge amount of glitter and feathers fell down on the four men, making the mess on their persons even worse.

"Wait a minute... is that Smallfry?!" Neo shouted, pointing up at the ceiling.

Everyone looked up and just like Neo said, the tiny Salmonid was hanging from the ceiling using one of the streamers as a rope. In one of his tiny fins was a huge plastic bucket, mostly likely the source of the things dropped on the businessmen. Seeing that his cover was blown, he waved at the guests and chirped happily, accidentally letting go of the bucket which fell on the jellyfish businessman's head. He shrieked as he tried to take the bucket off to no avail and started running around the room like a headless chicken before colliding with a wall and knocking himself out. Everyone else, including the other businessmen and the CEO, were all laughing as this was going on.

Off to the side, Callie looked on with a pleased expression. While it wasn't in the way she intended and had a few close call moments, the wedding ceremony went off without a hitch. Everyone was having a pretty fun time and most importantly, Three, Four, and Eight were finally, officially married! The only thing that would make this better was if she had a camera to capture all of the moments that happened today. Oh well, she can always use her phone's camera to take photos of the post-wedding party.

'Right after a quick nap,' Callie thought to herself as she let out a small yawn, 'I am so damn tired...'

Aren't we all, Callie?

Chapter Text

[New Squidbeak Splatoon Server] (8:45 a.m.)

> Spyke was shot by Flow using Flow Motion.

Spyke: WHAT THE FUCK?!

Spyke: What did I do to deserve that?!

Flow: You didn't do anything. I just felt like killing someone.

CrustySean: She seriously woke up and chose murder.

Murch: Lol

Bisk: That is funny as heck.

Spyke: Thanks a lot Flow! You killed me right next to a cliff AND with explosive arrows.

Spyke: Now I have to go down there to get my stuff back.

Flow: You're welcome.

Annie&Moe: Pretty sure t-that wasn't gratitude...

Sheldon: Annie? Mind accompanying me for a wood gathering trip with Shelly and Donny?

Sheldon: They refuse to pick up an axe unless you're there to supervise them.

Annie&Moe: O-Oh sure! I don't mind-d, I like hanging o-out with the t-twins.

CrustySean: ...You guys think the twins are playing match-maker?

Flow: Possibly.

Murch: Very likely.

Bisk: Most definitely.

> RollingInkGirl has joined the game.

RollingInkGirl: Hey guys! I finally managed to get a 30 minute break. What's happening?

CrustySean: Hey Callie! Nothing interesting is really happening.

CrustySean: We're just gathering resources at the moment. Bisk and I are fishing.

Flow: More like Sean is fishing and Bisk is making sand castles.

Bisk: Fishing is boring! Besides, I was getting nothing but bowls and other garbage!

Murch: Annie and Sheldon and the twins are getting some wood for this treehouse project they're working on.

CrustySean: It's looking more like a tree castle though... Like holy crud.

Spyke: I think I saw them working on a moat and draw bridge.

RollingInkGirl: Damn. I'll have to ask Marie later if we can do a treehouse too...

Murch: Let's throw a treehouse party if you guys actually do it.

Murch: Anyways, Spyke and I are trying to build a mining plant.

Spyke: We're currently gathering resources.

RollingInkGirl: Okay... why exactly?

Murch: To make it easier to smelt stuff. We got the idea from one of our favorite SplatTubers, BlueNerd.

CrustySean: I've seen his content and he is awesome.

Bisk: His videos actually helped me get through my first hardcore playthrough and now I follow his channel almost religiously.

RollingInkGirl: I've seen his videos too! I've tried building some of his stuff but I usually stop half-way because the build was either too hard or I lost interest.

RollingInkGirl: But yeah! A mining plant would definitely make things go a lot smoother!

Flow: I'm also fishing, but somewhere different from where Bisk and Sean are.

Flow: Also the Judds are currently hunting for wardens.

Murch: Yeesh... for a couple of cuddly puffballs, they can be surprisingly vicious.

CrustySean: I understand how you feel. I once saw them go against a Wither and they managed to tear it apart in under 2 minutes... I couldn't sleep for a week after witnessing that.

Spyke: Oof

RollingInkGirl: Poor guy...

RollingInkGirl: So anyone else here or is that all?

Spyke: Besides us, Pearl is probably off somewhere planning her next prank while Marina is tending to her not-so-secret garden.

Murch: Octavio is mining at the moment. I think he might be trying to make another secret base down there.

Flow: Isn't the mines off limits for base building?

Murch: From what I recall, yes. I think that's why Craig went along with him.

Murch: To gather some materials and keep an eye on the big guy.

Spyke: Other than that, everyone else is offline at the moment.

RollingInkGirl: Oh! That's because Deep Cut is currently on break to discuss the two most recent Splatfests. They've been focused on the wedding so much that they missed out on celebrating the winning teams.

Bisk: Ironically enough, both times were victories for Shiver.

RollingInkGirl: I know. Shiver is being twice as smug than usual since Frye and Big Man have to double treat her.

CrustySean: Speaking of the wedding, how is the lucky throuple doing?

RollingInkGirl: Aside from the occasional mood swings, they're doing pretty well! The pregnancy is coming along nicely, they're doing weekly checkups with the doctor, and I'm pretty sure the baby's room in their apartment is also coming along smoothly.

RollingInkGirl: They're still stuck on what color to use for the walls though...

Bisk: Yikes. Knowing those three, the walls will probably remain unchanged even after the baby is born.

CrustySean: Yep.

Murch: Mhm.

Spyke: Without a doubt.

Flow: Totally.

RollingInkGirl: Poor walls left forever bland...

Sheldon: Nothing wrong with bland sometimes. It would certainly be a refreshing break from the usual colors in our everyday lives.

RollingInkGirl: As much as I prefer lots of loud and vibrant colors, I won't deny that going plain is a nice change of place sometimes.

Annie&Moe: ...Y-You know, it's hard t-to believe that the wedding-g was only a f-few weeks ago.

Shelly: It was a really fun time!

Donny: ...Fun time!

CrustySean: Yeah! It felt like only yesterday that Eight almost pummeled two people with a folding chair.

CrustySean: Glad to hear that they're doing relatively well.

Flow: As violent and scary as that was, I won't deny it was a little funny.

Bisk: Haha! Same! Wish Eight actually did it.

RollingInkGirl: I'd rather not have my brother-in-law tossed in jail, thank you.

RollingInkGirl: Oh yeah! I almost forgot to mention!

> OctobotKing2.0 was blown up by Creeper.

> CraigCuttlefish was blown up by Creeper.

CrustySean: oop

OctobotKing2.0: I told you to be on lookout! Why didn't you warn me?!

CraigCuttlefish: It was dark! I didn't even hear it until it blew up!

OctobotKing2.0: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BRING THE TORCH!!! WHY DIDN'T U?!

CraigCuttlefish: LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

Sheldon: So Callie, what were you saying earlier? Something that you wanted to mention to us?

RollingInkGirl: What?

Shelly: That thing you were gonna tell us before the older geezers interrupted!

Donny: ...Geezers interrupted!

OctobotKing2.0: Oi!

CraigCuttlefish: Rude.

RollingInkGirl: Oh yeah! That thing?

RollingInkGirl: Just wanted to say that we're gonna have a bunch of new members to the server coming in tomorrow, courtesy of the Splatlands!

Sheldon: Oh nice. I was wondering when you guys were gonna invite them.

Bisk: You mean the Splatsville shop owners will be joining the server awesome!

RollingInkGirl: Fred Crumbs and Iso Padre will also be joining too! Neo Three is currently talking with the Splatsville shop owners at the moment.

RollingInkGirl: Deep Cut were suppose to brief them but... y'know...

CrustySean: I can't wait to see my nephew! We talked and get along well, but ever since he took over the shoe shop at the plaza, we haven't seen much of each other!

Flow: So that anemone girl is joining us soon. Great.

Annie&Moe: W-Who are you... oh... h-her.

Sheldon: You two better behave yourselves.

Bisk: You guys seem pretty tense about that Harmony girl.

Flow: She threw fruit punch on my fancy kimono!

Annie&Moe: S-She knocked me unconscious! It r-really hurt!

CrustySean: Which I understand. But she is going to be part of our group starting tomorrow, so at least try to get along.

CrustySean: Or at least be civilized with each other.

RollingInkGirl: What he said!

Flow: ...Fine. I'll try.

Annie&Moe: I'll try too b-but no promises-s...

RollingInkGirl: Thanks girls!

Sheldon: Quick question but will we need to prepare some welcoming gifts for the newcomers once they've arrived? I'm just asking since that has been a traditional for our group ever since Eight and Off the Hook were whitelisted.

RollingInkGirl: Marie has already gotten the gifts ready. They should be stored away in her house's basement at the moment.

RollingInkGirl: Also Spyke, Murch, and Flow, don't even think about sneaking in and stealing them.

RollingInkGirl: We had Octavio set up traps all over the basement so no one can take them while we're busy or offline.

Spyke: Well shit...

Flow: You're no fun, Callie...

Murch: Don't really care much since I'm busy mining for our mining plant.

Murch: Something that a certain SOMEONE should be helping me with until they suddenly decided to leave and go somewhere else on the server...

Spyke: Ah... w-well I wonder this someone is!

RollingInkGirl: Off-topic but thanks again for the traps, Octavio.

OctobotKing2.0: Meh. It was nothing. You and Marie owe me an Elytra with Mending btw.

RollingInkGirl: Ah. I was wondering why you agreed to do it...

Sheldon: Anything we need to do? Anything at all?

Shelly: Yeah! Anything at all?

Donny: ...At all?

RollingInkGirl: Hmmm... well, can you guys all make time to come in tomorrow to welcome the new members?

RollingInkGirl: It's gonna a long while until we get another chance to have everyone together at the same time.

Flow: I have tomorrow off of work, so sure.

Murch: The recent Splatfest was over for a while so no customers for a while.

Spyke: Same.

CrustySean: Bisk and I have a date tomorrow morning but we'll join in to welcome them later!

Bisk: If we don't get... distracted.

OctobotKing2.0: Gross.

CraigCuttlefish: Be nice.

Bisk: But yeah. We'll be there once we finish our date.

Sheldon: Business in the Ammo Knights shop in Splatsville has been slow lately. So sure, I'm available.

Shelly: Same here at the plaza!

Donny: ...The plaza!

RollingInkGirl: Wonderful! I can't wait for tomorrow! Marie already talked to the jellyfishes and they said they'll join in on the welcoming session later in the afternoon.

RollingInkGirl: This is gonna be so much fun!

> Sheldon was blown up by MCPrincess.

> Annie&Moe was blown up by MCPrincess.

> Shelly was blown up by MCPrincess.

> Donny was blown up by MCPrincess.

RollingInkGirl: Holy...!

Spyke: Oh baby, a quadruple!

Murch: Too bad it wasn't a quintuple kill.

CrustySean: Uh Pearl?

MCPrincess: SORRY! I was running away from some wild wolves.

MCPrincess: They wouldn't leave me alone so I set off some TNT to get rid of them.

MCPrincess: I didn't realize you guys were in the blast radius!

Sheldon: Fine... but you owe me a stack of 64 wood blocks and a new diamond axe.

Annie&Moe: Elytra please. I-I don't care if it has-s Mending or n-not.

Shelly: Shulker Box.

Donny: ...Shulker Box.

MCPrincess: Okay fine! I'm making a list...

> MCPrincess died because of Wolf.

Bisk: DAMN!!!

Sheldon: Deserved.

MCPrincess: Freaking wolves...

DJHyperfresh: I know Pearl just got killed and all, but can I ask everyone something?

Murch: What is it, Marina?

DJHyperfresh: Well I was tending to the crops I was growing in my secret garden. I went away for a moment to put away some of the crops I harvested, but when I got back, the crops I just planted were missing and I saw particles for a split second! Meaning someone stole them!

DJHyperfresh: So which of you took them? Is this some kind of prank?

MCPrincess: Babe, I swear that it wasn't me. Mostly because I don't know WHERE your secret garden even is.

RollingInkGirl: And everyone else was involved in our conversation during the theft... though not all of us are in the same place.

CrustySean: Could one of the others have logged on while we weren't paying attention???

MCPrincess: No... no one logged on at all in the last few minutes. Or the last hour.

Sheldon: Huh... did you see their skin?

DJHyperfresh: No... they were already out of my line of sight when I got back. I just got lucky to notice the running particles.

DJHyperfresh: Well actually... I did see that their legs were colored a darkish brown color though. Though it was really quick and far away so I probably saw wrong.

Annie&Moe: C-Could it have been a-a hacker?

RollingInkGirl: Impossible. Marie, Octavio, Marina and Eight all worked together to make sure that the server was hacker-proof.

RollingInkGirl: It can't be...

Spyke: Maybe... we should deal with that later? Anyways, I've got to go now. See you guys later.

OctobotKing2.0: I'll double-check the server's security tomorrow.

DJHyperfresh: Same here.

DJHyperfresh: I really hope it's not a hacker though...

CrustySean: Hopefully...

(11:40 p.m.)

[Censored]: You almost got caught.

[Redacted]: I am well aware of that. I will be more cautious in the near future.

[Censored]: Just be more careful, alright? I am aware that you wish to make amends, but this is not the most opportune moment to reveal yourself.

[Redacted]: I am aware of that. However, I cannot just sit still and wait until I reveal myself. I must build a home for myself on this server.

[Redacted]: I must go now. I must sleep.

[Censored]: Understood. I wish you the most pleasant of dreams.

[Redacted]: Thank you, and I hope that your progress on that one project succeeds.

[Redacted]: ...I miss you. So dearly.

[Censored]: ...The feeling is very much mutual, sir.

Chapter Text

[New Squidbeak Splatoon Server] (11:08 a.m.)

RollingInkGirl: Alright, is everything ready for the welcoming party?

LowTideSnipe: Yes they are, no need to go all Bridezilla on the preparations, Cal.

Spyke: I thought I said no streamers on my house...

Murch: Sorry, Callie's orders. ALL houses must be decorated for the party.

Sheldon: The presents are ready and in the chests as told.

Shelly: We even put names so they'd know which is which!

Donny: ...Is which!

RollingInkGirl: Excellent!

RollingInkGirl: And I know, Marie. But this is the first in a long time that we're ALL on at the same time!

MCPrincess: She has a point.

RollingInkGirl: It might be another while before we get a chance like this ever again!

Annie&Moe: Which is u-understandable, but w-why did you have t-to blow up our houses-s...?

Bisk: Yeah that was totally uncool and not called for, Cal!

AgentEight: Yeah... that was pretty uncalled for of you.

RollingInkGirl: Hehe... sorry! But with so many new people coming in, we had to make some space for new houses.

420 Splat It: She's not wrong... the main hub is running out of room so it's either make more space or build their houses outside of hub.

RollingInkGirl: Besides this means you get to move into Sean's house now! All the couples on the server typically live together!

Bisk: Octavio and Craig aren't living together.

Bisk: Same with Annie and Sheldon.

Annie&Moe: W-What?!

Sheldon: Well this is unexpected...

Shelly: Uncle Sheldon and Miss Annie are dating?!

Donny: ...Are dating?!

Flow: Cute.

Murch: Very cute!

DJHyperfresh: Just got back from mine and Eight's secret garden. What's cute?

Flow: Annie and Sheldon being a couple.

Annie&Moe: N-NO WE ARE NOT-T!!!

DJHyperfresh: Really?! Cute!

Sheldon: This is a misunderstanding...

RollingInkGirl: Okay guys? Please shut the FUCK up for a moment!

LowTideSnipe: Callie!

SquidbeakCaptain: Language!

RollingInkGirl: Sorry! That was the only thing I could think of to get their attention.

RollingInkGirl: And Bisk, first off, EW that's our grandpa you're talking about!

RollingInkGirl: And second, Octavio and Gramps prefer their privacy while Annie and Sheldon are still in denial.

Sheldon: NO WE ARE NOT!!!

Annie&Moe: We a-are not dating!

Spyke: Keep telling yourself that.

> OctobotKing2.0 was killed by [Intentional Game Design].

> OctobotKing2.0 was killed by [Intentional Game Design].

> OctobotKing2.0 was killed by [Intentional Game Design].

OctobotKing2.0: Cod damnit, why isn't this working?!

CrustySean: It'll work. You just need some patience.

OctobotKing2.0: I've been squatting on this bed for half an hour, AND I'M STILL NOT GETTING NOTHING!!!

CraigCuttlefish: It's a good thing Captain Three gave us that respawn anchor... this would've taken even longer without it.

420 Splat It: What the heck are you guys doing?

> OctobotKing2.0 was killed by [Intentional Game Design].

CrustySean: Farming for netherite. We're using that one bed farming trick.

SquidbeakCaptain: So that's what the respawn anchor was for...

MCPrincess: Do you guys mind taking a break? You're sort of clogging the in-game chat.

> OctobotKing2.0 was killed by [Intentional Game Design].

OctobotKing2.0: I AIN'T STOPPING UNTIL I GET MY FUCKING NETHERITE!!!

> OctobotKing2.0 was killed by [Intentional Game Design].

> OctobotKing2.0 was killed by [Intentional Game Design].

OctobotKing2.0: DAMNIT!!!

Murch: What does he even need them for?

CrustySean: He has this build idea and needed some netherite to complete it.

> OctobotKing2.0 was killed by [Intentional Game Design].

AgentEight: And why are you guys helping him?

CrustySean: I just need one more netherite for a helmet to complete my netherite armor set. Call it a mutually beneficial partnership.

CraigCuttlefish: I'm helping out because I got nothing better to do until those Splatlands youngsters get here.

> OctobotKing2.0 was killed by [Intentional Game Design].

OctobotKing2.0: Come on...!

CraigCuttlefish: Plus he's had a cruddy week so I wanted to do something nice for him.

DJHyperfresh: That's pretty sweet of you, Craig.

SquidbeakCaptain: What is up with this server's attention span though?

> OctobotKing2.0 was killed by [Intentional Game Design].

> OctobotKing2.0 was killed by [Intentional Game Design].

DJHyperfresh: What do you mean, Cap?

SquidbeakCaptain: I mean, the conversation started about the other Splatsville residents joining the server. Then it changed to space and housing around the main hub. And now it's about Octavio trying and failing to farm for netherite.

OctobotKing2.0: I ain't failing shit! The game just hates me today!

AgentEight: Now that you mentioned it...

AgentEight: Our attention spans is pretty out of wack.

RollingInkGirl: That's because there's so many different things happening at once!

Spyke: It's hard to stick to one topic and stay on it for longer than a few minutes.

Sheldon: Agreed.

Shelly: So many decisions for a conversation!

Donny: ...A conversation!

LowTideSnipe: And now we're going back to the whole spacing and housing problem we were talking about.

LowTideSnipe: Are we in agreement?

> OctobotKing2.0 was killed by [Intentional Game Design].

420 Splat It: Death aside, I agree with what Marie suggested.

DJHyperfresh: What if... we built an apartment complex? That would solve our problem of barely any space AND housing.

MCPrincess: I agree with you, babe, but not a lot of people will be happy about it.

DJHyperfresh: Why not?

LowTideSnipe: She has a point. An apartment complex would mean each apartment needs to be the same size to efficiently save space, which could limit personal customization.

AgentEight: The whole point of individual housing is that it allows us to be expressive with our houses, both outside and inside.

Flow: True...

RollingInkGirl: Well... we've had plans of setting up a second base in the Mollusk Desert. Maybe they can be the first residents of the second base!

> OctobotKing2.0 was killed by [Intentional Game Design].

> OctobotKing2.0 was killed by [Intentional Game Design].

OctobotKing2.0: Oh shit.

OctobotKing2.0: OH FUCK!!!

CraigCuttlefish: Hold on... is that?!

CrustySean: HOLY SHIT HE HIT NETHERITE!!!

Murch: Wait what.

Spyke: He actually did it?!

Flow: How come no achievement notification pop up?

420 Splat It: Because it only displays the first time you do something.

420 Splat It: So clearly this isn't the first time he's discovered ancient debris or mined netherite.

OctobotKing2.0: Hurry up and start mining! Hoo boy this is gonna be good~!

CraigCuttlefish: I don't really need any netherite at the moment, but thanks Tavi!

MCPrincess: Nice to see that SOME people are having some luck...

MCPrincess: Meanwhile we're here discussing about space and housing problems like it's a fucking economy class.

OctobotKing2.0: If you're so concerned about housing, why not go with the apartment idea?

AgentEight: We actually considered that but...

OctobotKing2.0: No, no, no, let me finish! What I'm trying to say is that we should go with the apartment idea, BUT we build the complex around the foot of the Mt. Kraken Breath.

Annie&Moe: M-Mount Kraken Breath?!

Shelly: What's Mt. Kraken Breath, Mr. Sheldon?

Donny: ...Mr. Sheldon?

Sheldon: You two are aware of the volcanoes on the main island of this server, correct? Mt. Kraken Breath is basically the largest out of all of them.

Bisk: And coincidentally... our base is built several kilometers away from the foot of it.

Flow: Isn't that a safety hazard?

SquidbeakCaptain: Nope. This in Minecraft, remember? No actual serious consequences unless you're playing survival/hardcore mode.

Bisk: Exactly.

Bisk: But why bring up Mt. Kraken Breath, Octavio?

OctobotKing2.0: That's what the netherite is for. I'm planning to expand the perimeter of home base, but I need something lava-proof if I'm going to expand around Mt. Kraken Breath.

OctobotKing2.0: Only the best material for renovations.

420 Splat It: That... could actually work.

420 Splat It: Not to mention Deep Cut will probably shrug it off saying that they're "used to hotter climates" and think living near a volcano is super badass.

Murch: That does sound like them...

Spyke: True that.

CrustySean: No arguments from me.

RollingInkGirl: Need any help, Octavio?

MCPrincess: You may be one of the best builders on the server but even you can't handle a project this size.

RollingInkGirl: He IS remodeling the side of a mountain to make way for space and housing.

OctobotKing2.0: I've already got that covered as well. The jellyfishes and two Judds volunteered to help me out.

OctobotKing2.0: Though I'm open for more help if anyone is offering.

Spyke: 5 diamonds and 3 netherites for my services. I need them to complete the remaining pieces of my diamond and netherite armor sets.

OctobotKing2.0: Deal.

Murch: I'll help out too. Mainly because I have nothing to do until the Splatsville folks get here.

CraigCuttlefish: Same here.

Annie&Moe: Speaking o-of, what's taking t-them so long?

Bisk: Yeah, they are taking a while to log on.

SquidbeakCaptain: Some of them don't have good internet or even a Minecraft account. Neo Three and Deep Cut are helping them out with that first.

SquidbeakCaptain: Anyways, I'll help out too.

Bisk: Sean I love you but I'm ready to move in with you and be Minecraft roommates yet.

CrustySean: It's fine. I don't feel like redecorating the house. I'll see if I can build a guest room just for you though!

Bisk: Thanks, shrimpy~! <3<3<3

RollingInkGirl: Seeing them together makes me feel so alone...

LowTideSnipe: Same...

AgentEight: Come to think of it, where are Jelonzo, Jelfonzo and the Judds at the moment?

DJHyperfresh: Yeah, it's been a while since we've gotten a message from any of them.

> Jelonzo hit the ground too hard whilst trying to escape Li'l Judd.

> Jelfonzo tried to swim in lave to escape Li'l Judd.

RollingInkGirl: Oop

DJHyperfresh: I guess we got our answer to that question...

DJHyperfresh: What happened?

Judd: Fighting Piglins. Accidentally hit Li'l Judd and knocked him off a cliff.

DJHyperfresh: Oooh....

AgentEight: Jellyfish slaughter aside, I'm gonna log off, have some lunch and then take a nap.

AgentEight: Just a little bit more until it's time...

420 Splat It: I know! I'm so scared and excited at the same time!

Flow: I saw the pictures. Eight, you are rocking those maternity shirts!

Annie&Moe: D-Did you get those hats I-I got f-for you?

AgentEight: I did and they look awesome. Thanks again, Annie.

RollingInkGirl: Go ahead and rest, Eight! Cap or Four will message you once it's time.

420 Splat It: If you need anything, I'm literally in the room across the hallway.

AgentEight: Thanks guys. Good luck with the changes you guys!

> AgentEight has left the game.

> Jelonzo was shot by Li'l Judd using Last One Standing.

LowTideSnipe: And immediately after Eight leaves, a death happens.

RollingInkGirl: Lmao!

SquidbeakCaptain: Now that Eight is gone, let's get started on those changes.

DJHyperfresh: I wonder how Deep Cut and Neo Three are doing... getting internet in the middle of a desert is definitely not a walk in the park.

MCPrincess: Tell me about it! When we came to visit Splatsville, our internet was always at one bar.

MCPrincess: ONE. FUCKING. BAR. The entire time we were there!

Sheldon: ...I'll go pray to the server shrine for good luck to them.

CraigCuttlefish: Count me in on that!

Annie&Moe: I'll j-join you guys t-too!

Shelly: Same here!

Donny: ...Same here!

(4:15 p.m.)

> AgentEight has joined the game.

AgentEight: I got Callie's message. Are they here yet?

Bisk: Not yet but on the bright side, we finished those expansions to the home base!

AgentEight: Oh cool! But why am I here if they're not on yet?

RollingInkGirl: Because I wanted you here for when they arrive!

DJHyperfresh: Frye sent us a text and said that they finally got a good connection for everyone!

Spyke: Everyone else is currently at the beach just hanging out until they arrive.

Iso Padre: Octavio, Three and Pearl are currently having a rap battle by the volleyball net.

Spyke: HOLY COD!!!

DJHyperfresh: Hey Padre!

AgentEight: Padre! Yay!

Iso Padre: Hello Eight. Glad to have you join us.

Iso Padre: Have you slept well? Eaten yet?

AgentEight: I'm fine! Four was a sweetheart with helping me and stuff.

420 Splat It: Glad to be of service, honey! <3

Spyke: Blegh. You guys are so sweet it's giving me cavities...

Spyke: And I mean it in a literal sense.

LowTideSnipe: I'll send you the card for my doctor. He's a pro at these types of things.

Spyke: Much appreciated.

> The Fresher 3 has joined the game.

> SmallFryHugeDreams has joined the game.

The Fresher 3: Hello losers! Miss me!?

420 Splat It: Excuse you?! You're an even bigger loser than I am!

420 Splat It: Have you seen this fresh cut I've got?!

RollingInkGirl: Glad to have you with us, Neo!

LowTideSnipe: And it looks like Smallfry is here too. Nice to have you here, little guy, welcome to-

LowTideSnipe: Uh... where is he going?

The Fresher 3: He's, uh... speed-running?

Spyke: Damn.

DJHyperfresh: No one tell Octavio or Pearl... they'll try to blacklist Smallfry!

LowTideSnipe: I still don't understand why they seem to hate speed-running and speed-runners so much.

AgentEight: Marina and I know... trust me, they have justified reasons to hate speed-running.

AgentEight: The two of us are a lot more indifferent compared to them.

Iso Padre: If I may interject, Neo can you tell us where Deep Cut and the other new members are?

Spyke: Fuck! I keep forgetting that you're there!

AgentEight: He's still new to Minecraft and even in real life prefers not to speak much.

LowTideSnipe: Which is totally fine! It's okay if you prefer keeping to yourself or not talk in social settings.

Iso Padre: Thank you, Marie. Much appreciate the reassurance.

The Fresher 3: Well to answer your question, they'll be coming in a 5-6 minutes from now. They're just doing a final, quick check on the connection strength.

420 Splat It: In that case, we'd better tell everyone and gather them around the fountain.

AgentEight: Let's go then, Four!

DJHyperfresh: We'd better get the gifts too. I'll help you with carrying them, Callie.

RollingInkGirl: Thanks! Let's hurry and get them!

> TheEelDeal has joined the game.

> SharkBandit has joined the game.

> Big Man Time! has joined the game.

TheEelDeal: Hey guys! Sorry it took a while!

SharkBandit: Technical difficulties. You guys know how it is.

Spyke: Too true.

Iso Padre: Glad that you all could join us.

LowTideSnipe: It's been a while. Happy to see you guys again after what felt like months.

Big Man Time!: Awww, thanks Marie! We're glad to be back too!

TheEelDeal: I bet it was pretty boring and lonely without us around, huh?

SharkBandit: We're one of the most chaotic and interesting group of people in existence. Of course it'd be boring without us!

Spyke: Yeah yeah, it's awesome to see you guys again. NOW WHERE ARE THOSE OTHER SPLATLANDERS AT?!

Spyke: we've been getting ready and waiting since this morning!

SharkBandit: Sheesh hold your seahorses.

Big Man Time!: They'll be here soon! No need to be impatient!

> Mr. Coco has joined the game.

> GnarlyEddy has joined the game.

> Jel La Fleur has joined the game.

> Harmony has joined the game.

Big Man Time!: See? Told ya!

Mr. Coco: Ah h-hello everyone! Sorry it took so long.

GnarlyEddy: S'up dudes. Glad to be here.

Harmony: Where is Jel La Fleur going...?

LowTideSnipe: Probably the beach. Everyone else is there at the moment.

LowTideSnipe: I think he might be looking for Jelfonzo and Jelonzo.

GnarlyEddy: Jellyfishes typically flock together. It's like a deeply ingrained instinct in their DNA or something.

SquidbeakCaptain: There they are! Sorry for the late welcoming party.

CraigCuttlefish: One thing lead another and now the beach is on fire.

MCPrincess: I said I was sorry! Plus we managed to put it out!

Mr. Coco: Oh my! What a large and colorful group!

Harmony: Hello~ It's nice to meet all of you~!

GnarlyEddy: Yo dudes, thanks for the invite.

420 Splat It: You're all very welcome.

420 Splat It: Any friend of Deep Cut is a friend of ours!

Harmony: Thanks guys~! I can tell that things are about to get a lot more interesting~

Murch: Got that right, sister.

RollingInkGirl: Crap are they already here?! Sorry for the late arrival!

DJHyperfresh: We were getting the welcoming gifts for you guys. Welcome to the server!

Mr. Coco: Oh my! T-Thank you so much! All of you!

GnarlyEddy: Yoooo Harmony, my gift got some apples in it!

Harmony: Cool~!

Mr. Coco: Truth be told, I was rather concerned when Frye asked me to join this Minecraft server.

Mr. Coco: Mainly because I rarely play the game and still don't understand certain mechanics, but also because I'm not very... socially competent so to speak.

MCPrincess: But now that you're here, you're starting to feel more confident about this whole thing?

AgentEight: And don't worry about not knowing much about the game! Gramps was the same way when we first started this server!

CraigCuttlefish: Rude...

Mr. Coco: Ah... well, t-thank you all for being so kind to us!

RollingInkGirl: No problem! Also- OH OH OH I just realize something!

OctobotKing2.0: What is it now, Callie?

RollingInkGirl: I think we should all properly introduce ourselves to the new members since we're all here for once! Sexuality, gender and pronouns, etc.!

GnarlyEddy: Excuse me? Why do we need to do all that??

SquidbeakCaptain: You see, this server is an LGBTQ+ friendly environment. We do these introductions to avoid things like using the wrong pronouns or making... inappropriate and offensive jokes.

LowTideSnipe: To make things less uncomfortable for everyone. This is a safe place, aside from the in-game deaths so it's okay to be honest.

LowTideSnipe: Nothing you say here is gonna leave here without your permission.

Mr. Coco: I suppose that's an... understandable reason. In that case, I'll go first!

Mr. Coco: My n-name is Mr. Coco... I'm a male, he/him pronouns, a-and my sexuality... is...

SharkBandit: It's okay, Coco. You can trust them!

The Fresher 3: Go for it, big guy!

Mr. Coco: O-Okay... my sexuality i-is bisexual with a male preference!

AgentEight: That was really brave of you. We'll be sure to keep that in mind for future interactions!

GnarlyEddy: Guess I'm next! Gnarly Eddy, also male, he/him and they/them pronouns please, and I'm a demi-ace!

GnarlyEddy: Harmony, you're up!

Harmony: Oh~ pretty flower~

GnarlyEddy: ... Psst! Harmony!

Harmony: Huh? Oh sorry~! The name's Harmony, female, she/her and I'm also demi-ace like Ed.

Flow: Yes~ more of us!

SharkBandit: We've been on longer, so everyone knows us by now, but it's still only fair since we're also Splatlanders.

SharkBandit: Shiver, technically female but I go by both she/her and they/them, and I am a pansexual.

TheEelDeal: Name's Frye and I'm female, she/her and I'm a proud lesbian!

Big Man Time!: Big Man in the house and I'm male but go by he/him and they/them, and I'm a demisexual!

The Fresher 3: Neo Three, female but I only answer to they/them, so DON'T you forget it!

The Fresher 3: Oh yeah, also I'm bisexual. Nearly forgot to mention that, hehe...

LowTideSnipe: Thank you for sharing that with us, you guys.

SquidbeakCaptain: Hehehe... the our army grows~

Flow: Soon we'll be unstoppable... bwahaha~

Bisk: ...The hell you guys on?

SquidbeakCaptain: Huh? Shit, were we plotting out loud?

Sheldon: Plotting... what exactly?

SquidbeakCaptain: Moving on! I'm guessing it's our turn now!

Sheldon: Oi, don't ignore me!

Shelly: Don't be mean to uncle Sheldon, you hear?!

Donny: ...You hear?!

RollingInkGirl: I'll go first! Callie of the Squid Sisters, female, she/her pronouns and I like who I like!

LowTideSnipe: In other words, pansexual.

LowTideSnipe: Marie, also of the Squid Sisters, female, she/her, and I'm bi-romantic asexual.

LowTideSnipe: Not to sound harsh or anything, but let's save the comments for AFTER everyone has introduced themselves. It feels like this is dragging on longer than necessary.

420 Splat It: I agree with Marie. Let's wrap up the introductions so we can get started on the server tour.

420 Splat It: Name's Four, male and he/him pronouns. Also I am bisexual polyamorous.

SquidbeakCaptain: Three and I'm a male who uses he/him and they/them pronouns. Demi-sexual polyamorous.

AgentEight: I'm Eight! Trans male, he/him, and I'm also demi-sexual polyamorous.

MCPrincess: Pearl from Off the Hook signing in! Female, she/her pronouns and a proud lesbian!

TheEelDeal: Ayyy~!

LowTideSnipe: What did I say about comments?

DJHyperfresh: It's fine, Marie, just calm down. Marina also from Off the Hook and I'm female, she/her and I'm bisexual.

Sheldon: Sheldon, weapon expert and Ammo Knights store owner. Male, he/him pronouns, and demi-sexual.

Annie&Moe: A-Annie here... Female, she/h-her, pan-romantic a-asexual.

CrustySean: Name's Crusty Sean and I'm a male who uses he/him pronouns and I'm bisexual!

Bisk: I'm Bisk, a shoe shop owner in Inkopolis Square. Male who uses he/him, and I thought I was straight until a few months ago that I realized I was actually bi.

Flow: Flow at your service~! Female, she/her and they/them pronouns, and I'm aroace.

Spyke: The name's Spyke and I'm a dude who uses he/him pronouns. Also I'm straight.

RollingInkGirl: The token straight friend in our group since Bisk found out he's actually bi, heehee~!

Murch: I can feel Marie's frustration through the screen right now... Anyways, I'm Murch, a male sea urchin who goes by he/him and they/them pronouns. Also I'm aroace too.

Iso Padre: The name's Iso Padre. Male, him/him pronouns, and I am demi-ace. Pleasure to meet you all.

OctobotKing2.0: Octavio, DJ, male, he/him pronouns. I'm a bisexual so if y'all have a problem with that...

CraigCuttlefish: Tavi, cool it! Guessing I'm the last one.

CraigCuttlefish: Craig Cuttlefish, grandfather of the Squid Sisters. I'm a male Inkling who uses he/him pronouns and I'm pansexual.

SquidbeakCaptain: And that's basically the whole server.

Harmony: Definitely a large and colorful group~!

GnarlyEddy: And so chaotic too!

GnarlyEddy: Hold on, "the whole server"?

SquidbeakCaptain: Shelly and Donny are too young to fully understand concepts like gender identity and sexual preferences, despite being mature and smart for their age.

SquidbeakCaptain: Same with Li'l Judd.

Shelly: Hey! We take offense to that!

Donny: ...To that!

SquidbeakCaptain: Judd NEVER uses the in-game chat and refuses to say anything.

MCPrincess: Only Eight and Marina know anything about his preferences and stuff.

SquidbeakCaptain: As for Jelonzo, Jelfonzo, and Jel La Fleur, they're all asexual.

SquidbeakCaptain: i'm not being speciesist just to clarify! I asked Jelfonzo about it once, he told me how all jellyfishes are asexual.

SquidbeakCaptain: Or at least, reproduce asexually. Dunno if it's the same with Jelonzo and Jel La Fleur though.

The Fresher 3: I think I remember asking Fleur in that past. Don't remember the answer though.

RollingInkGirl: In any cases, I'm glad we finally got the introductions out of the way.

Murch: We be speed-running friendships lmao.

MCPrincess: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! Never mention that god forsaken word in this server!

OctobotKing2.0: I swear to cod, I will build a cannon and destroy your house if you say that word again...

OctobotKing2.0: Let's just hurry up with the tour so I can show off the new additions to the base.

CraigCuttlefish: Need a pick-me-up after hearing *that* word?

OctobotKing2.0: Shut up...

RollingInkGirl: I actually agree with Octavio. I actually want to see the new additions too since I made myself stay away until the welcoming party and tour!

DJHyperfresh: Follow us you guys. First we're gonna show you around the base and your houses, then we'll head to the beach for the party.

GnarlyEddy: Free housing and a party? SIGN ME UP!!!

Harmony: I hope my new home looks good~!

Mr. Coco: T-This is so much...! Thank you all for your hospitality.

420 Splat It: Eight? Something up?

AgentEight: Huh?

Sheldon: You were spacing out there for a moment. The group already went ahead of us.

Sheldon: Are you feeling unwell?

SquidbeakCaptain: Do you want me or Four to come check on you?

AgentEight: No no I'm fine! It's just...

AgentEight: I thought I saw someone running away over there. I saw dust particles...

MCPrincess: You sure it wasn't just a random animal or something?

MCPrincess: Smallfry isn't here, so maybe that was him you saw running off doing... whatever he's doing.

AgentEight: Well... maybe...

Annie&Moe: L-Let's go join up with t-the others. Don't w-wanna get l-left behind...

SquidbeakCaptain: Good idea, Annie. Let's hurry and catch up with them.

AgentEight: Actually... I'm gonna go take a quick nap. It's nothing serious, I just think I might be a little drowsy is all.

AgentEight: I'll be back in time for the party.

420 Splat It: Already babe. Remember that Three and I are in the other rooms if you need us.

MCPrincess: Get some rest, kiddo.

AgentEight: I will. Thanks guys and see you in a bit.

> AgentEight has left the game.

Eight stared at his PC screen a little longer before moving over to his bed and lying on it. The Octoling gently rubbed his very big and round belly as he stared at the ceiling. He thought back to that strange person that was running away and despite what the others said, he couldn't help but think that it wasn't Smallfry's in-game avatar that was running around.

'On an unrelated note, I have to ask Neo later how Smallfry is able to play the game with those tiny fins of his,' Eight chuckled to himself before re-focusing.

Sheldon, Annie and a few other members have mentioned seeing something similar in their previous sessions. Though Eight could not fathom or accept the idea that it could be a hacker running around. Maybe it's because of his pride as an Octoling and former member of the Octarian Army, but his programming skills were peak and when combined with Marie, Marina and Octavio's technology skills, the server's fire wall was near impenetrable. Taking a few breaths, Eight calmed himself before his frustration could affect the baby. Deciding to worry about it later, the Octoling set an alarm on his phone and snuggled against his pillow to nap.

Chapter Text

[New Squidbeak Splatoon Server] (8:58 p.m.)

> MCPrincess has joined the game.

MCPrincess: Alright, everyone here?

Spyke: Yep.

Sheldon: I just tucked Shelly and Donny in for the night so I'm here too.

The Fresher 3: Remind me again, why are we doing this?

Murch: Yeah I just wanna sleep, damn it...

TheEelDeal: You sleep at 9?? That's whack.

SharkBandit: To be fair, he's not a performer or idol like us or Pearl.

SharkBandit: Which means his sleep schedule isn't fucked up like ours.

MCPrincess: I would like to be offended and argue but you're technically right.

MCPrincess: I usually go to sleep around midnight, but if I'm especially busy, I'd be lucky to drop unconscious by 1:30.

Spyke: Damn.

The Fresher 3: Can we get back on topic?

Sheldon: I agree with Neo 3.

MCPrincess: Oh shit, my bad. Basically the reason we are here is so that we can finally catch that mystery hacker!

MCPrincess: Don't pretend you don't know who I'm talking about.

Murch: You mean the bastard who stole all of my golden apples?

Murch: The golden apples I worked REALLY HARD and spent over HUNDREDS of gold to craft??

Spyke: I still can't believe you crafted them instead of betting your luck with dungeon crawling...

Sheldon: Then again, crafting golden apples would certainly be a lot less time consuming than looking for some in the wild.

MCPrincess: Yeah them. We're finally gonna catch the jerk and make them pay for their crimes on this server!

TheEelDeal: So that's why you sent us that text telling us to rest up before 9:00 p.m.

TheEelDeal: Good thing we currently have the day off today.

SharkBandit: Indeed. Especially since this will probably be an all-night affair.

MCPrincess: Oh yeah, that reminds me. Where's Big Man?

MCPrincess: I definitely remember sending a text for him.

The Fresher 3: Sleeping. He spent the entire day writing new songs and composing new tracks.

SharkBandit: Sorry Pearl, but Big Man isn't really a night owl. He works better during the day.

SharkBandit: Splatfests are the rare exception.

TheEelDeal: But he still gets pretty sleepy sometimes. Especially that part where he accidentally bumps into us.

Murch: That was because he was TIRED??

Sheldon: A majority of the fandom assumed that part was because he was improvising or because you both underestimated his size.

TheEelDeal: Nope! That part was because he was tired and tends to forget the choreography sometimes.

SharkBandit: If anything, we were the ones improvising.

TheEelDeal: Yep! But that moment was so iconic and memorable that our boss and manager decided to keep that part in.

Spyke: As nice as this chat is, let's get back on topic.

Spyke: So what's the plan, Pearl?

MCPrincess: Just go about your usual business.

MCPrincess: Building, material gathering, etc.

MCPrincess: I have several traps laid out all over the island so if you see the intruder, try luring or chasing them into one of those.

Murch: How is that gonna work?

MCPrincess: Heh heh heh~! I may or may not have had Marina make a mod for me~!

Spyke: Uh oh...

Sheldon: What's gonna happen?

MCPrincess: Basically while the mod is turned on, anyone who dies will have their account locked out of the server for the next 48 hours.

MCPrincess: The plan is to kill the hacker's avatar and lock them out of the server, blacklist them, and then have Marina do some coding and programming to improve the server's protection so they can't hack back in.

The Fresher 3: That's a pretty interesting plan that could work.

The Fresher 3: Except for the part where we get LOCKED OUT FOR 48 HOURS!!!

Sheldon: I concur with Neo's statement.

Murch: I was planning to build a pony farm over the next week!

Spyke: Not to mention I promised Eight that I'd mine some stuff for him since he's dealing with the pregnancy.

TheEelDeal: My underwater castle build!

MCPrincess: Guys relax! We'll get the hacker!

MCPrincess: Besides, it's only gonna be two days without Minecraft.

MCPrincess: Seriously, touch grass.

SharkBandit: I mean... she's not wrong...

SharkBandit: It'll only be two days.

TheEelDeal: But- what the- fine...!

MCPrincess: Don't worry guys. We'll catch them!

The Fresher 3: We'd better split up and get started on the plan then.

Sheldon: I wish everyone the best of luck.

Spyke: This ain't gonna end well...

(9:16 p.m.)

Spyke: GVGFYGHJHIYGILGBHJ-

The Fresher 3: Shit what happened?!

SharkBandit: Did he just slam on his keyboard or something??

Murch: No we ran into the intruder!!

MCPrincess: What?! What happened?!??

Spyke: Murch and I were just in the mines looking for emeralds for Eight when we noticed a player with an unfamiliar skin on the other side of this ravine.

Spyke: We were trying our best to pretend to not notice them.

Murch: Until they started shooting explosive arrows at us so we tried to retaliate.

TheEelDeal: Okay? That doesn't explain what happened with Spyke...

Murch: Oh that?

Murch: Yeah... he got knocked into a pool of lava by one of the exploding arrows and nearly burned to death.

TheEelDeal: Oh...

The Fresher 3: Yikes...

Murch: Fortunately I had a bucket of water and some steaks on me so he didn't burn to death.

MCPrincess: Off-topic but why did you have a bucket of water?

SharkBandit: Pearl!

Murch: I was planning to fish later for a new fish for my aquarium.

TheEelDeal: Ah okay. What happened after saving Spyke from burning to death?

Murch: We decided to go back to mining. The intruder got away but I think that was a lot safer for us.

Murch: If we run into them again, we'll try again.

Spyke: But right now, I ain't going anywhere near that bastard...

SharkBandit: Which is understandable.

Sheldon: You guys just focus on mining. We'll try and play our parts in this.

MCPrincess: Don't forget about the traps I made.

MCPrincess: Try chasing or luring them into those bad boys. Trust me, they'll regret hacking their way into this server.

SharkBandit: I am both concerned and intrigued to see what you had planned for this guy...

ThEelDeal: You're not the only one...

(9:33 p.m.)

The Fresher 3: FUCKING DAMN IT!!!

The Fresher 3: I was so close too!!!

Sheldon: I'm guessing you had a run-in with the intruder?

The Fresher 3: Yes!!! The bitch got away!!!

Spyke: Welcome to my world...

Spyke: Did they get you with a lava pool?

The Fresher 3: No, they didn't. Also, Spyke, you're the only one on this server to have lava as an archenemy.

Murch: True. You do die to lava a lot more often than the rest of us.

Murch: Even more times than Pearl.

MCPrincess: And that's saying something since I have the highest death count in the server atm...

Sheldon: Back on topic, what happened to you, Neo?

The Fresher 3: Weeell I was kind of breaking into Captain Three's secret gold stash when I saw them in a boat heading towards the Panda Sanctuary so I chased them.

The Fresher 3: We broke out into an arrow shooting fight and, of course, that bastard had an unfair advantage with the exploding arrows.

Spyke: They hurt like a bitch...

Murch: I almost died from fall damage from those arrows...

The Fresher 3: Tell me about it... anyways, I think they ran out of arrows because half-way through our fight, they put their bow away and starting running... er, rowing away from me.

SharkBandit: So they didn't try to hack in more arrows or anything?

The Fresher 3: Nope. They just turned and fled.

TheEelDeal: Maybe they did have more arrows but didn't wanna waste those on you?

MCPrincess: That wouldn't make sense since them being a hacker means they could just hack in more arrows.

The Fresher 3: Back on topic! Anyways, I chased them around the Sanctuary for a while before I remembered Pearl placed some traps around the place so I tried luring them into those.

The Fresher 3: BUT THEN, the bastard caught on to what I was trying to do and would move to the side at the last moment!

The Fresher 3: AND THEN I WOULD BE THE ONE IN THE TRAPS!!!

TheEelDeal: Big oof...

Murch: That's gotta hurt the ego...

The Fresher 3: I got launched 30 feet into the air by an explosion! It was a good thing that I landed in the water!

The Fresher 3: The explosion damaged me down to 2 and a half hearts, holy hell.

MCPrincess: Ehehehe... sorry about that...

The Fresher 3: It's cool. At least we know that the traps worked.

SharkBandit: I think it's time we have a battle plan.

SharkBandit: We can't just wander around aimlessly and hope for the best anymore.

TheEelDeal: What Shiver said! Not to mention luck seems to be against us tonight...

Sheldon: I agree.

MCPrincess: Yeah... I think it's time we actually have a plan.

Spyke: If it means we get rid of them faster and can go to bed, then hurry up and explain it to us.

Murch: No need to be impatient.

Murch: Though he does have a point.

The Fresher 3: It's only 9:33!!!

Spyke: But there's a chance we'll be stuck for a while.

Sheldon: Truth there...

TheEelDeal: They have a point, Neo.

SharkBandit: Are we done with the off-topic banter?

Spyke: For now, yeah.

SharkBandit: Alright then. Here's the plan...

(9:57 p.m.)

MCPrincess: There they are! GET THEM!!!

The Fresher 3: How are they running so fast?!

Sheldon: Probably some sort of speed potion...

Sheldon: Remember, we need to lure them to the designated location!

MCPrincess: I know, I know!

MCPrincess: Aha! We got them now!

TheEelDeal: There they are! Now, Murch!

Murch: Got it!

SharkBandit: What the-?!

The Fresher 3: OH SHIT SOMEONE SAVE ME GTFFSWESHHIUYHI!!!

MCPrincess: The bastard had an Eye of Ender?! The hell!!!

The Fresher 3: Guys?! Little help here?!?!!

TheEelDeal: Either this guy is a hardcore player or they only hack stuff in when they're in trouble.

Spyke: And also to troll us.

Spyke: Because there is no way they coincidentally had an Eye of Ender sitting around in their inventory.

TheEelDeal: That too.

The Fresher 3: Guys...? Please?!

MCPrincess: Can we try my plan next?

SharkBandit: Go for it.

Sheldon: While you guys get started on the next plan, I'll fish out Neo from this trap.

Sheldon: Otherwise they'll be spamming in the chat all night...

(10:41 p.m.)

MCPrincess: OKAY!!!

MCPrincess: It took most of my resources to make this trap, but it'll all be worth it in the end!

The Fresher 3: Holy crud this trap is complex.

Sheldon: And costly. I estimate that this was at least 2 months worth of building materials.

MCPrincess: No need to rub it in!

Murch: I'm more surprised we managed to complete this in only an hour.

TheEelDeal: Plot convenience.

Spyke: That makes sense.

SharkBandit: Everyone get in position!

The Fresher 3: You guys think it'll work?

MCPrincess: It has to... otherwise I'll scream and cry for my material stash...

SharkBandit: That would be your own fault for going this far.

MCPrincess: I know, shut up! Sheldon, put down the bait and hide.

Sheldon: I can already tell this is going to blow.

MCPrincess: Try to be more positive!

Sheldon: I am positive this is going to blow.

TheEelDeal: Lmao!!

(11:01 p.m.)

MCPrincess: There they are!

The Fresher 3: Finally! we've been hiding for so long, I actually had to get up and move around.

The Fresher 3: My legs fell asleep.

Murch: Ah. That makes sense, I was confused at first...

MCPrincess: Everyone quiet or they'll hear us!

Spyke: Says the one quietly screaming.

MCPrincess: Shut!

TheEelDeal: They're going for the bait...

The Fresher 3: They fell for it!

MCPrincess: Haha finally! Told you this trap would work!

MCPrincess: Now we just have to wait for the death message and then we can all call it a night.

Spyke: Finally... I really wanna sleep right now.

SharkBandit: I understand that feeling. I don't normally stay up this long unless it's a Splatfest.

TheEelDeal: I'm just glad we're finished now!

(11:33 p.m.)

Spyke: Why the fuck is it taking so long?!

TheEelDeal: My eyelids are feeling heavy...

Spyke: Pearl, what the fuck is going on?!

MCPrincess: I don't know! I don't know why the death message hasn't appeared yet!

SharkBandit: Is it suppose to take this long for them to get killed by the trap?

MCPrincess: No!

MCPrincess: I calculated everything! Even if the intruder had access to some healing items and was able to avoid some of the stuff down there, they'd still die in under 5 seconds!

Sheldon: I mean, we were in a bit of a rush so...

MCPrincess: Are you implying I was sloppy on some parts?

The Fresher 3: I mean... we were in a bit of a rush...

Murch: True that.

TheEelDeal: Uh... guys?

SharkBandit: Something up, Frye?

TheEelDeal: Well... isn't that the hacker over there? On that hill opposite from us?

TheEelDeal: Also... call me crazy, but I think I see someone standing next to them and it's not a skin that belongs to any of the other whitelisted members...

MCPrincess: ...

Spyke: ...

Murch: ...

The Fresher 3: ...

Sheldon: Well.

SharkBandit: This is unexpected...

MCPrincess: You know what? Fuck it.

MCPrincess: I'm just gonna chase them down and hit them til they drop dead.

Murch: Pardon??

MCPrincess: I just wasted a month's worth of resources for nothing. I am absolutely pissed now.

Spyke: I'm down for that. I don't care anymore, I just want to sleep~!

The Fresher 3: I mean... we're dealing with two intruders to the server now...

MCPrincess: Oh come on, we easily out-number them! We just need to hit them hard and hit them fast!

MCPrincess: They'll drop dead before we do!

Sheldon: We do have the number advantage...

Murch: But what if they cheat and hack something in to help them fight back?

SharkBandit: He has a point. I wanna go to sleep as much as the rest of you, but this seems a little-

Spyke: ANARCHY!!!

MCPrincess: DEATH TO THE INTRUDERS!!!

TheEelDeal: ...Aaand there they go...

Sheldon: Ugh... we'd best go lend a hand.

Sheldon: Otherwise they'll complain about us not helping them later if things go south...

The Fresher 3: True that...

TheEelDeal: This isn't gonna end well...

SharkBandit: Fight now, complain later, babe...

TheEelDeal: Okay...

(11:40 p.m.)

Spyke: How the fuck are these wankers not dying?!

The Fresher 3: I'm using my strongest sword against them! Yet I'm apparently only doing 1 heart worth of damage!

MCPrincess: Keep hitting them! We can do this!

SharkBandit: The one dressed like a bear is making a run for it!

SharkBandit: And- wait, what are they holding?!

Murch: Wait, hold on, please no-!!

> Murch was impaled by [Redacted] using RizzGrizz.

The Fresher 3: SHIT MURCH!!!

TheEelDeal: MAN DOWN!!!

Sheldon: And it seems they're just getting started...

The Fresher 3: W-What's that potion they're holding!

Spyke: WHAT THE- MY HEALTH!!!

Spyke: OH SHIT!!!

> Spyke was shot by [Censored] with A.I.M.Bot.

Sheldon: Huh. That must've been a potion of harming with instant damage 2.

SharkBandit: We're dropping like flies...

MCPrincess: Fucking... UGH!!!

The Fresher 3: Guys... I have an idea, but it's risky.

Sheldon: Neo?

The Fresher 3: If this plan fails and I die... just stop, got it?

The Fresher 3: Run away and heal up and then log out. Okay?

TheEelDeal: Neo what are you- NEO?!

The Fresher 3: SACRIFICE!!!

MCPrincess: NEO!!!

> The Fresher 3 was blown up by The Fresher 3.

MCPrincess: SHIT THAT DIDN'T WORK!!!\

Sheldon: I believe Neo told us to retreat and log off if their plan failed.

MCPrincess: But- they- fine!

MCPrincess: But only because we don't have any other plans at the moment!

TheEelDeal: In that case, everyone follow me! I just splashed myself and you guys with a potion of swiftness so we should be able to outrun them.

SharkBandit: Nice one, hun.

TheEelDeal: Thanks babe. Now let's scram!

MCPrincess: Ugh! I knew we should've invited Marina, Callie, and Marie along...!

SharkBandit: Marina I can understand, but why also Callie and Marie?

Sheldon: Despite Marie not being very... adept at design and building, she is a pretty good programmer.

Sheldon: Callie as well.

TheEelDeal: Oh yeah! You guys mentioned how Captain Three and Octavio were involved in some sort of "final boss" confrontation and Cal and Marie hacked the chonky man's beats.

TheEelDeal: With that said, why didn't you ask them?

MCPrincess: Because Marina has been working on Damp Socks ft. Off the Hook's next album and I didn't want to tire her out even more.

MCPrincess: She insisted that she should be in charge of the album and only accepted minimal help with certain parts in the instrumentals and the lyrics.

Sheldon: Understandable. Then what about Callie and Marie?

MCPrincess: I... forgot they had hacking experience and only remembered right after we logged on to hunt those intruders...

Sheldon: ...

SharkBandit: ...

TheEelDeal: ...

TheEelDeal: Bruh...

MCPrincess: I know, I know! It would've saved us some hassle if we had invited the Squid Sisters along.

MCPrincess: I acknowledge that it was on me for not considering and forgetting that.

SharkBandit: Let's just head back to base and heal up. Then log the hell out of here for tonight.

(12:08 a.m.)

Sheldon: Everyone all healed up?

MCPrincess: Yeah... only thing still injured is my pride.

Sheldon: You'll get over it soon enough.

SharkBandit: Well then, that was quite an eventful night.

SharkBandit: I think it's time we turn in, don't ya'll agree?

TheEelDeal: YAY!!! Sleep!

Sheldon: I am feeling rather drowsy.

MCPrincess: I need to go check on something for Marina real quick, but yeah, I'm turning in too.

TheEelDeal: In that case, night you guys!

SharkBandit: Let's hope our future attempts will be more fruitful.

> TheEelDeal has left the game.

> SharkBandit has left the game.

Sheldon: Good night, Pearl. We'll have to discuss our plan of action later on.

MCPrincess: Yeah, yeah, I know.

MCPrincess: Night, Sheldon.

> Sheldon has left the game.

MCPrincess: Alright, now it's time for me to...

[Redacted]: Hello.

MCPrincess: OH FUCK, THE HELL-?!

MCPrincess: Wait... IT'S YOU TWO!!!

[Censored]: Hello. Just wanted to say that your attempts today to get rid of us were... creative, even though they ultimately failed.

[Censored]: 7/10. We just simply had more advantages over you.

[Redacted]: 5/10 for me. That was a wasteful use of your resources. Utterly disgraceful.

MCPrincess: Rude! I was desperate! What are you guys here for anyways?

MCPrincess: To rub it in my face how badly we failed to get rid of you?

[Censored]: No. Well, more accurately that isn't the only reason we came here.

[Redacted]: We are here to inform you that our intrusion on this server will not be a problem in the near future.

MCPrincess: Wait, really?!

[Redacted]: Indeed.

[Redacted]: Some time in the future, we will be moving from intruders to official, whitelisted members of your little server and its... colorful community.

MCPrincess: Wait, what-!?

[Censored]: We look forward to further interactions with you in the future. Hopefully with far less hostility.

MCPrincess: What do you m-?!

[Redacted]: Ah yes, I almost forgot. Send Captain Three, Four, and Eight our regards and well-wishes for their marriage and child.

> MCPrincess was blown up by [Censored].

Pearl was left speechless.

The white and pink Inkling could only stare at her computer screen, mouth agape. Those... those bastards just blew her up... and right after that little fake-out with them saying that the server wouldn't have to deal with them as intruders in the near future! Pearl would scream at the top of her lungs right now but Marina was sleeping in the room next to her's and didn't want to wake her. So Pearl did the second best thing and fell face-first into her pillow and screamed into the soft cushion while flailing her arms and legs against her bed. Now feeling slightly better, Pearl mentally swore to herself that whoever those two hackers were, they were in for a world of severe hurt the next time they meet.

The rapper was momentarily brought out of her plans for revenge by the sound of her phone buzzing. She turned on her phone and saw that it was Spyke and Neo Three messaging her which caused her to wince slightly. Oh yeah... she almost forgot that they, along with Murch, were now locked out of their accounts for two days... and so was she...

"Better watch out," Pearl snarled as she turned off her phone, deciding to respond to the text in the morning, "Cause the next we meet, I ain't holding nothing back...!"

Chapter Text

Four couldn't help but flinch as he heard the pained screams of Eight. Right now, him and his two husbands were currently at the hospital because Eight's water broke earlier when they were putting the finishing touches on the baby's room. Fortunately there wasn't much traffic today and the GPS in their car was now fixed so they were able to get to the hospital without much delay.

"I really don't like hearing Eight in pain...," Four murmured, hands over his ears.

"Me neither, but remember when we tried to be in there to provide him emotional support?" Three reminded his second husband.

Earlier, the two of them were in the room with Eight while he was going through labor. Unfortunately the longer the labor went on, the more impatient and frustrated the Octoling got. It finally reached a boiling point where Eight snapped at Four, blaming him and Three for the pain he was suffering through right now. After that, they were escorted into the hallway and that's where they were seated for the next hour and a half. Most of it was Three trying to reassure Four that Eight wasn't really mad at him and that it was the labor talking.

"After this, we should probably invest in some birth control or something...," Four murmured, leaning into Three, "Cause these past few months have been the most eventful, tiring and scariest in my life."

Three said nothing but nodded along with what the green Inkling said. It was definitely the most tiring few months when things like cravings, mood swings and some renovating to their new home. But it was definitely gonna be all worth it once the baby finally arrives, so Three was gonna wear the scars he got on his arms from Eight's mood swings like badges. The two males cringed as their Octoling husband let out another scream of agony from the labor room.

"Yeesh, I didn't know Eight could scream that loud," Four remarked, "And I mean it in a serious way that doesn't imply anything."

"I am aware, Four," Three responded with a blank face.

"How much longer until the baby is here?"

"According to what the internet says, an average labor is usually around 12 hours to an entire day."

"The fuck?! How long has it been so far?" Four asked, completely gobsmacked.

"Well... Eight started labor around 8:15 and we arrived to the hospital around 8:30 this morning," Three hummed as he did the math, "Right now, it's 1:45 in the afternoon. So... about five hours have gone by so far."

Which meant another seven to nineteen hours of hearing Eight struggling and in pain depending on how things go. Four groaned as he sunk into his chair, dragging his hands down his face. Three gently pat Four on the shoulder and reassured that Eight will survive this ordeal. The green Inkling responded by saying that he has complete faith that the childbirth will go well and that he's upset because they didn't have any breakfast or lunch today because of their rush. As if to emphasize his point, Four's stomach started rumbling so loudly that some people walking passed them gave the two strange looks.

"...Now that you mention it, I am feeling rather famished myself," Three admitted, patting his stomach, "But I don't feel comfortable with leaving Eight alone while we go eat, even if he's surrounded by medical professionals."

"Then you'll be happy to know that we'll take over for you!" Callie's cheerful voice remarked as the pink and black Inkling sat down next to them alongside Marie.

"Hey boys," Marie greeted, "If you're feeling hungry then go ahead. We already ate today and our schedules are free until much later tonight. We'll stick around to keep an eye on Eight."

Though still reluctant, the two male Inklings agreed and got up from their seats and started out of the hospital. There was a nice restaurant near the hospital they were at so they wouldn't need to walk far. Just the thought of some tasty food got Four's stomach rumbling again, much to his embarrassment and Three's amusement. After a few minutes of walking, they arrived at the restaurant and immediately took a seat to wait for someone to take their orders. The place was pretty crowded, a testament of how popular the restaurant was, but fortunately they didn't have to wait long as a waiter showed up to their table.

"Hello, you two. Sorry if you were waiting long, today was a lot more filled than usual," The waiter apologized, "What can I get you both?"

"I'll just have a cheeseburger with a side of crinkle cut fries and a glass of orange soda," Three ordered.

"Same but with a side of garlic bread and lime soda," Four ordered.

The waiter nodded as he took their order and then left. The two Inklings spent the time waiting in silence since they didn't have much they wanted to talk about. And the things they did want to discuss were... not suited for a public place like this. Soon the waiter returned with their order along with what looks like two slices of chocolate cake. Confused, Three and Four looked at the waiter who gave an awkward smile as he gestured to two girls sitting a couple of tables down from where they were sitting. Putting two and two together, the husbands whispered an apology to the waiter who just shrugs and waves it off before returning to his job.

"I blame you for this by the way," Four murmured, "You and that damn scar looking sexy as heck..."

"Hey now, don't sell yourself short," Three told his husband while dipping a fry in some ketchup, "You're quite the looker yourself. Arguably the most athletic and well-built out of the three of us."

"Pretty sure that's Eight but considering his pregnancy, then yeah," Four hummed before biting into his cheeseburger.

They ate in silence for a little while and eventually finished up their food. Neither of them touched the cake slices as they planned on saving them for Eight later, because labor is exhausting and he might be hungry after the delivery. Speaking of Eight, there was... something that Four wanted to ask Three but he couldn't seem to find the right words to ask.

"Is something wrong, Four? You look constipated... was it the food?" Three asked in concern.

"Huh? Oh no, no, no, the food was alright! I was just... thinking," Four responded with a quiet voice, "Do you think we'll... be good parents to our son? I mean, we're still pretty young, only in our twenties, so we're pretty lacking when it comes to experience and..."

"Hey now, none of that," Three said softly as he placed a hand on one of Four's face cheeks, "We might not have experience, but we can learn. No one is perfect, and that goes for parenting too. We just have to do our best and if we're lacking in certain places, we have the most awesome friend group to support us."

Four let out a sigh, having already known how Three would respond but still felt reassured regardless. Four was always a confident and outgoing fellow, but when it comes to his husbands he seems to always clam up and doubt his choices and actions. In his defense, he was technically the last one to join the relationship as Three and Eight were already dating at the time. During that period of his life, Four was always paranoid and hard on himself for being in love with a couple who were happily in love with each other. Even after he confessed and Three and Eight reciprocated his feelings, the green Inkling always felt like he was intruding and forcing himself into an already perfect and happy relationship despite his husbands and friends telling him otherwise.

"Thanks, Three... I needed the reassurance," Four smiled as he placed his hand over Three's hand on his cheek before gaining a playful grin and placing a kiss on the hand.

"...! Tch... dork...," Three murmured though was blushing and smiling at the action.

"Eek! You guys are so stupidly cute!" Marina said softly as she and Pearl sat down at their table, "Hey guys, sorry for the intrusion but we saw you through the window and wanted to say hey!"

"S'up boys?" Pearl asked, though her attention was more on her phone at the moment.

Marina explained that Pearl was just feeling bitter because her plan to get rid of those hackers ended up failing. Pearl's mood soured even more at the reminder as she started typing on her phone more roughly. Trying to calm Pearl down, Four nervously asked what Pearl was typing and the short Inkling explained how she was coming up with a new song to vent her frustrations. She explained that she was currently doing the lyrics but was having trouble coming up with words that both rhyme and match the mood of the song. With that in mind, Four offered a few words that rhymed and Pearl actually considered them as she typed them down for later experimenting.

While they were busy with songwriting, Marina and Three were catching up on everything. Marina was talking about Damps Socks ft. Off the Hook's next tour and how excited she was about the travel but also expressed how sad she was because it meant leaving Inkopolis for a long while. Three reassured the Octoling that they can still talk to each other via Discord and their other social media accounts, so she should just focus on having fun and rocking the stage as always. This eased some of Marina's sorrow and she promised to bring back lots of souvenirs for the gang.

"In any cases, how's Eight right now? I got a text from Callie saying how he was going through labor right now," Marina asked, concerned for her little brother figure.

"About as well as labor can get. Eight's screaming bloody murder but is otherwise alive," Three replied calmly but his twitching eye shows he was anything but calm.

"Yikes. Well... if it's any comfort, Eight is a strong Octoling," Marina said, trying to look on the bright side, "Considering he's been in the Octarian Army before, his will and body should be strong enough to survive the childbirth."

That did little to comfort and reassure Three but he knew that Marina was trying so he forced a small smile. After exchanging some more news and a little gossip, Marina got a call from one of the members of Damp Socks which meant it was time to start packing for their tour which they'll go on at the end of the month. Pearl whined a little but followed after her girlfriend after some coercing, threatening Four to help her finish her song over text later.

"I hope their tour goes well," Four said after the two girls left.

"They're Off the Hook. I'm positive they'll be fine," Three said before checking the time, "We should probably head back now. Eight's likely still in labor and Callie and Marie are there with him, but I think we've spent enough time away from him."

"Agreed," Four nodded as they both got up from their seats, "Good thing Marina paid for the meal before she left. Don't forget the cakes, Eight might be feeling tired and hungry afterwards."

Back at the hospital, Callie was having difficulties keeping herself entertained. After Three and Four left, the Squid Sisters immediately got bored because there was nothing to do but sit and listen to Eight screaming. They should've thought this through better, like maybe bring along their Switches so that they could play some Pokemon or something. All they had were their phones and even then, they eventually got bored of playing apps and were now just sitting around again. On the bright side at least Three and Four are probably enjoying themselves, even it's just for a little while.

"Seriously, those two are so protective of Eight," Callie sighed, "Though I can understand why, even I haven't been in any relationships lately."

"You have always put work and family before love," Marie commented before turning back to her phone, "I'm currently working on my next single. Wanna read over the lyrics and give your thoughts on them?"

"Uh, yes!" Callie squealed as she eagerly took Marie's phone.

While her cousin was busy with the lyrics, Marie rummaged through her bag and pulled out a package of cookies to munch on. Several minutes later, Callie returned the phone and commented on how calm and relaxing it sounded. She then quickly added that it wasn't a bad thing and that it suited Marie's smiled. The green Inkling rolled her eyes while smiling and reassured her cousin that she didn't say anything offending to warrant the apology. The pink Inkling let out a nervous chuckle in response and nodded before mentioning how some of the lyrics were misspelled or didn't rhyme and offered some replacement words to her cousin.

"Uhm, excuse me," A shy voice asked, "Are... a-are you guys the Squid Sisters b-by chance?"

Both cousins turned and saw a little Inkling, probably around 10-11 years in age standing next to them. Behind them was an older Inkling around her 30-40s, mostly likely this child's parent or guardian. While the cousins were surprised that someone saw through their disguise (though they weren't really trying), they confirmed that they are indeed the Squid Sisters. The young Inkling then asked if they could get an autograph to which Callie and Marie happily agreed to. After they signed the Inkling's backpack, their parent/guardian decided to approach them and thanked the two for their time and attention while also expressing surprise that two popular idols/musicians were hanging out in a hospital.

"Oh! Well you see, a friend of ours is pregnant and is currently going through labor right now," Callie explained.

"Oh really? Poor woman must be going through a lot right now," The parent/guardian said with a nod, causing the cousins to tense and share a look.

"We can't just jump to conclusion," Marie whispered to her cousin, "There's a chance that they're just clueless. Not to mention how extremely rare that kind of pregnancy is..."

The parent/guardian then asked where the father of the child or children was, to which Callie explained that they are currently taking a breather since they have been cooped up in the hospital since they got here this morning. Marie added that they didn't want to leave their partner, despite the medical staff being here to help Eight through the pregnancy so they were here in their place until they get back. The Inkling child looked at them in awe and admiration and excitedly praised them for being such awesome friends. While the girls were happy with the child's praise, it didn't diminish their annoyance and disgust when the child's parent's face scrunched up slightly at the mention of there being several fathers. Oh joy... it was one of those people they were dealing with... still, they did their best to be civilized since the kid was an innocent in all of this.

"It was really fun talking with you guys! C'mon mama! I think it's almost time for my appointment now!" The child said as they tugged their parent down a hallway, "Bye Callie! Bye Marie!"

"Bye kid! Good luck with your appointment~!" Callie said cheerfully but once they were out of sight, she dropped the cheerfulness, "The kid was pretty nice. Too bad his mom is one of those people."

"Agreed," Marie nodded before looking towards the door leading to the labor room, "Still, it was a nice distraction from Eight's screaming and crying. Not to mention Three and Four are likely coming back right about now."

"Thank cod for that too. I love Eight, but his screaming is murder on my ears..."

Ten minutes later, Three and Four finally came back as Marie predicted. Callie immediately asked what they did during their break and Four took charge in the recounting of what happened. Marie noticed the cakes that both male Inklings were holding and Three explained the situation with the two girls at the restaurant and how they were for Eight after the delivery. Speaking of which, it was now 2:35 past noon which also meant another six to eighteen hours left until the labor is finally over. Not exactly good news but if they were lucky, the baby will be born around 8 p.m. later tonight and if he doesn't get born by then, Three and Four will suck it up and go home without Eight until the next morning.

"I don't hear Eight screaming anymore... maybe the worst part is over?" Four said weakly.

"Nope. I'm pretty sure he simply switched to silent screaming to avoid damaging his vocal cords," Marie denied with a deadpan expression.

"I am so glad I'll never experience pregnancy," Callie shivered, "I want kids in the future, but I don't want to endure the pain of making my own kid if it's this time-consuming and painful."

"Agreed," The green Inkling nodded at her cousin's words.

As more time passed by, Eight's labor seemed to be dragging on and hopes on an early birth was fading fast. It was now around 7:25 p.m. and still no signs of the labor ending soon. On the bright side, Eight was able to calm down a little which meant that Three and Four were able to come in and offer support without fear of getting yelled at. The labor coach that was present to help out was a serious miracle worker and both men were thankful for their help.

"Hey, Eight. How are you feeling?" Four asked softly while hiding behind Three.

"Aside from my insides feeling like they're getting microwaved and frozen at the same time, much better than I was a few hours ago," Eight responded, rolling his eyes at his husband's action, "And calm down. I won't yell at you again..."

"Did the doctors say when you'll finally have the baby?" Three couldn't help but ask, "I'm not trying to rush your labor but I really don't like hearing you in pain."

"Unfortunately, there's a chance this will be an overnight occurrence," The Octoling responded, to his husbands' disappointment, "Oh stop it. I'm not made of glass! I won't drop dead from the birth of our son!"

"I know but... we worry...," Both Inklings murmured softly.

Eight let out a exasperated sigh but didn't say anything. They were just concerned for him so he can't get upset about that. After some more talk, a doctor approached them and informed the two Inklings that visiting hours were up soon and that they will call them if anything comes up. Three and Four clearly don't want to go but eventually relented when Eight gave them 'The Stare.' After leaving the labor room, Callie and Marie were still seated outside and were conversing with some other people, probably visitors or patients.

The two males informed the cousins that visiting hours are almost over and that Eight was doing alright. Relieved, Callie and Marie introduced their new friends to the two male Inklings. They exchanged some pleasantries before Three and Four left for home, anxious the entire car ride because they were leaving behind Eight for the night. Three and Four went about their routines as usual and just hoped and prayed for the best regarding their relationship's third member.

"Hi there, is there anything I can help y-?" The reception lady's question was cut off by Four slamming his fist on the counter.

"Where is my husband and son being held?!" The green Inkling demanded, scaring the lady.

"Leave the women alone," Three scolded his husband, "I'm sorry for him. He's just been really anxious since our partner had to stay overnight."

The reception lady regained her composure and assured the two that it was fine and that she understands and relates to how Four is feeling, having gone through something similar with her sister-in-law a few months ago. She then asked for the name of the patient to which the two males immediately told her. After typing in something, the receptionist told them the floor and room number that Eight was currently at.

The two thanked her and immediately rushed to look for an elevator. After a few minutes of wandering around and asking for directions, they finally found the room that Eight was placed into. Stepping into the room, they saw Eight and a nurse talking with each other about something. The room was full of a sweet scent because of the flowers placed on a table next to Eight's bed. Four had to equip a face mask gear because the scent was getting unbearable and made the room smell like a cheap perfume shop.

"Oh! Three, Four, you made it!" Eight noticed his husbands and gave a smile.

"Eight! Where's our precious little angel?!" Four asked excitedly.

Rolling his eyes, the Octoling gestured towards the little table next to his bed. Swaddled in a blanket was a little cyan blob that was resting peacefully, eyes closed as its body slowly moved up and down with each breath. Because Inklings and Octolings are formless blobs at birth, it was hard to make out whether their son was a squid or octopus, though it didn't matter either way. They were just so freaking happy and relieved that their son was alright and made it through the pregnancy. Four wanted nothing more than to rush over and pick up his son, but refrained since there was a huge chance that it will just wake him up and make him cry.

The nurse explained that the baby was in good health and Eight was recovering from the labor smoothly, though they'll have to both stay at the hospital for a few more days before they are given the approval to check out. After some questions and answers, the nurse left to give the three partners privacy to talk. That was when Three showed Eight the chocolate cakes that they saved from yesterday, though the Octoling assured them that he was fine for now but told them to put the cakes next to the bed for him later.

"Have you decided on a name for our son yet? And is he an Inkling, Octoling or some kind of mix between the two?" Three inquired.

"No name yet, I wanted to wait for you guys before making a choice," Eight responded, "As for the second question, I'm still not sure. I think Octoling because the mask around his eyes is similar to mine, but there's a chance I could've gotten it wrong."

While Three and Eight started discussing something, Four was laser-focused on the cyan colored blob swaddled in a blanket in front of him. This was... this was their child... a living symbol of the love that he and two husbands shared. The three of them... they made this child together...! ...Well, two of them made the child since it was not possible for someone to have more than two biological parents (unless test tube shenanigans ensue) but still! Four felt tears well up in his eyes the longer he stared at the sleeping baby and solemnly swore to love and cherish their son forever. And... also protect him from the monsters and horrors of this world until his dying breath.

'Good thing I have most of our friends on speed dial,' Four thought as he chuckled darkly to himself, 'Those assholes will think twice about hurting my baby once they find out about the... connections we have... hehehehehe!'

"Gosh, his plotting is so loud I can hear it," Eight deadpanned, "Four, could you be a dear and stop your murder plans for a sec? We need your thoughts on something."

Though reluctant to leave his son's side, Four got up and went over to his husbands. Three explained how they were debating names for the baby and wanted to hear his thoughts and maybe share some name ideas of his own. The orange Inkling added how he and Eight were able to narrow down the list but were still unsure of which name to pick.

"Thoughts on names? Let's see...," Four placed a finger under his chin, "What have you gotten so far?"

"Well, most of the names left are pretty generic but otherwise fit for our son," Eight explained, "So far we've got: Bluford, Azul, Hyacinth, Jayvee-"

"Are all of the names gonna be associated with blue or cyan?" Four deadpanned as his lovers shared an awkward laugh with each other, "Figures... well, they all seem like good names but how about I give a name I've been considering?"

"Just one name?" Three couldn't help but question, "That's surprising. So what's the name?"

This was a topic that Four pondered over for a long while, ever since it was announced that Eight was having a baby. He spent a long time browsing the net to find a fitting name for their child and now was the time. If his husbands disagreed with the name, he'd lose a little respect for them but otherwise understand and still love them.

"The name I chose for our son...," Four smiled, "Asher. The name I chose is Asher."

Chapter Text

[New Squidbeak Splatoon] (2:25 p.m.)

> SquidbeakCaptain has joined the game.

SquidbeakCaptain: I am now a father...

MCPrincess: Oh boy, is he still going on about that??

DJHyperfresh: Lay off the captain. He's just overloaded with so many feelings right now.

DJHyperfresh: Also congrats on the baby, Cap!

SquidbeakCaptain: ...I have... a child...

> CraigCuttlefish has joined the game.

> LowTideSnipe had joined the game.

> RollingInkGirl has joined the game.

RollingInkGirl: Hey guys! What's-

RollingInkGirl: Oh.

Sheldon: Indeed. He's still out of it.

CraigCuttlefish: I can understand how he feels though.

CraigCuttlefish: I went through a similar phase when Callie and Marie's parents were born.

LowInkSnipe: Oh yeah. Mom and uncle always talked about it with us whenever we're at family gatherings.

RollingInkGirl: It's always their favorite material to use for teasing and blackmail.

CrustySean: Lol I always love hearing stories about your family.

CrustySean: Even the crazy bits.

CraigCuttlefish: My own children and grandchildren turning on me.

OctobotKing2.0: I wasn't aware you had a wife.

OctobotKing2.0: I mean, I knew you were with SOMEONE, otherwise those two wouldn't exist right now.

RollingInkGirl: Hi!

LowTideSnipe: What exactly are you implying with that comment?

OctobotKing2.0: I didn't mean anything negative with my comment! I'm just saying that Craig's not the type of guy to settle down.

OctobotKing2.0: He's always up an about, ready for the next adventure.

OctobotKing2.0: Don't even get me started on what happened recently. Remember that event?

LowTideSnipe: ...Well...

RollingInkGirl: He has a point. I don't think I remember a moment we've ever seen or met a grandma on my dad and your mom's side of the family.

TheEelDeal: You guys don't have a grandma?!

TheEelDeal: Were your parents test tube babies or something?? I don't get it!

DJHyperfresh: Nope. Technology wasn't advanced enough for Inklings and Octolings to have test tube deliveries be a thing when Cuttlefish and Octavio were around our age.

SharkBandit: And that's saying a lot coming from an Octoling considering how technologically innovative we are.

Big Man Time!: Is now really the time to be gloating?

CraigCuttlefish: To answer your question, I actually had my granddaughters' parents with an old friend of mine.

CraigCuttlefish: She didn't want any kids but she agreed to help me since I've always wanted to have a family myself.

CraigCuttlefish: After the kids were born, I was given full custody of them though she was allowed to stay around in their life as a caregiver and co-parent.

LowInkSnipe: Hold on.

LowInkSnipe: This woman wouldn't happen to be named Trina Gerfin, would she?

RollingInkGirl: As in the Aunt Trina that my dad and Marie's mom often talk and reminisce fondly of?

CraigCuttlefish: The same one.

TheEelDeal *le gasp* PLOT TWIST NOT EXPECTED!!!

Big Man Time!: Truth bombs have been dropped!

> MCPrincess was blown up by MCPrincess.

Sheldon: Goodness...

GnarlyEddy: Damn! The hell happened to you?

MCPrincess: I'm fine! I just accidentally placed a TNT block next to a fire.

SharkBandit: How do you "accidentally" do something like that??

MCPrincess: I was cooking!

LowTideSnipe: ...How?

Bisk: I wanna know how she did it too.

Shelly: Please tell us how you blew yourself up, Pearl!

Donny: ...Up, Pearl!

MCPrincess: Well if you guys shut up, I'll recount the events that took place!

MCPrincess: Also is the Captain alright? He's... oh shit.

DJHyperfresh: Cap-!

> SquidbeakCaptain fell from a high place.

> 420 Splat It has joined the game.

420 Splat It: I just logged on and the first thing I see is a message that said Three fell.

420 Splat It: What happened?

OctobotKing2.0: I think he was trying to pick some flowers from the cliff. There were a lot of flowers around where he dropped.

Annie&Moe: They were f-for Eight, right? T-That's really sweet of Cap!

CrustySean: The problem is that he is WAY too out of it.

420 Splat It: Still?

RollingInkGirl: It's not affecting his ability to care for the baby, is it?

420 Splat It: No. He does seem spaced out sometimes but otherwise is doing a good job at looking after Eight and Asher.

LowTideSnipe: To be fair, Cap has always been the socially awkward type. Even when we first met, he's always been more of the silent type and never showed much emotions.

Annie&Moe: Relatable.

Harmony: Agreed~

Big Man Time!: Ay!

Iso Padre: Indeed.

RollingInkGirl: He's gotten better at expressing himself, but still prefers to keep to himself.

RollingInkGirl: Only reason he's so expressive here on the server is because he's comfortable and familiar with most of us.

DJHyperfresh: And for the ones he's not familiar with, he tends to warm up to pretty fast.

MCPrincess: Not to sound like an attention hog, but CAN I PLS TELL MA STORY NOW??!!!?!

Bisk: Oh yeah.

TheEelDeal: Honestly forgot about that.

MCPrincess: Again. We change topics way too much.

MCPrincess: ANYWAYS, I was cooking in my furnace earlier and I noticed the fire was starting to get dimmer.

MCPrincess: I was feeling pretty sleepy because I spent another all-nighter working on some stories.

DJHyperfresh: Which I advised you against doing...

MCPrincess: I know! Anyways, I was feeling sleepy so I accidentally grabbed a flint and steel by accident instead of some wood.

CrustySean: I'm starting to see what happened now...

MCPrincess: Yep. In my sleepiness, I actually hit my TNT stash instead of the furnace.

Sheldon: You put your TNT stash next to your furnace??

SharkBandit: No wonder you blew yourself up.

MCPrincess: I was running low on chests so I put them there for the time being!

DJHyperfresh: But then you got distracted, right?

MCPrincess: ...Yes.

DJHyperfresh: Oh, Pearlie...

> AgentEight has joined the game.

AgentEight: Alright I managed to put Asher to sleep, so I have at least 30 minutes of energy left before I pass out too.

AgentEight: What did I miss?

RollingInkGirl: Nothing much really.

Bisk: Three's being an emotional wreck, Craig dropped some lore bombs regarding his family, and Pearl blew herself up while cooking food.

AgentEight: ...Wat?

CrustySean: Yeah that last part definitely sounds unbelievable.

MCPrincess: Get off my case! Go bother Craig and Octavio or something!

AgentEight: How?

MCPrincess: Scroll up. I ain't explaining shit again.

SquidbeakCaptain: Alright. I finally calmed down and just got back all of the stuff I dropped down that cliff.

SquidbeakCaptain: What did I miss while I was spacing out?

MCPrincess: Didn't you just see what I just typed?!

TheEelDeal: Pearl, chill...

SharkBandit: Yeah chill your big forehead.

GnarlyEddy: Pfft!

MCPrincess: SCROLL. UP.

MCPrincess: Also fuck u, Shiver.

> MCPrincess has left the game.

DJHyperfresh: Oh Pearl...

Big Man Time!: Maybe we went a little too fair.

CraigCuttlefish: Agreed. Pearl did mention she was feeling stressed working all night on some songs.

CraigCuttlefish: I feel bad for adding more to her frustration.

RollingInkGirl: Same.

TheEelDeal: Me too... ugh! Stupid emotions!

LowTideSnipe: We can apologize later. Maybe with some rare resource...

LowTideSnipe: Maybe even buy her something irl...

SquidbeakCaptain: But what can we buy her though??

420 Splat It: Yeah! She's freaking rich as all heck so anything we try to buy, she could probably buy but times 10!

RollingInkGirl: We're rich too!

420 Splat It: That's true but Pearl is rich on a MUCH higher level than you.

AgentEight: He has a point.

SquidbeakCaptain: I love you guys but they both have a point. Pearl is far more loaded than both of you combined.

LowTideSnipe: That's because we aren't a really rich family, despite Gramps being a war veteran.

LowTideSnipe: Plus the majority of our income is from our jobs as idols along with our side-projects.

RollingInkGirl: Like Marie's talk show podcast!

CraigCuttlefish: Too much money can corrupt. It's why I drilled modesty and morals into you both and also your parents.

LowTideSnipe: We know, Gramps, and we don't blame you.

LowTideSnipe: It's just frustrating sometimes since there are things that we want to buy sometimes but can't due to our instinctive need to save up.

SquidbeakCaptain: I can always buy something in your place if you'd like. I have the money and the lack of modesty to splurge it on a gift for Pearl.

RollingInkGirl: Only because you're offering!

RollingInkGirl: We'll message you once we figure out a gift.

Bisk: If you're buying something for Pearl, would you mind buying my gift for her too?

CrustySean: And mine?

Annie&Moe: I-I can just make something f-for her...

Sheldon: Perhaps the latest Dualies might curry some favor from her...

Shelly: That sounds like a good idea!

Donny: ...Good idea!

SquidbeakCaptain: Oh boy... If you have a suggestion for apology gifts, just send it to me through DMs.

GnarlyEddy: Thanks dude!

OctobotKing2.0: I do not envy your position in the slightest, lol.

CraigCuttlefish: Octavio, be nice...

OctobotKing2.0: Whatever...

OctobotKing2.0: Anyways, get over here. I need help with my pulsar cannon.

AgentEight: Your what now?

CraigCuttlefish: Sure! I'm surprised you're actually finishing it after so long.

AgentEight: Mr. Craig, wtf does Octavio mean by pulsar cannon?!

DJHyperfresh: Oh boy...

Bisk: Why do I have a feeling this won't end well?

CrustySean: Umm... Three?

SquidbeakCaptain: Sorry guys but Eight is starting to feel the fatigue. And so am I...

SquidbeakCaptain: Parenting is tiring...

420 Splat It: I feel fine. Yawning once in a while but still awake.

AgentEight: That's because you exercise more often compared to us. Stupid pregnancy kept me from keeping up with my training regime...

AgentEight: I used to be the most physically fit and strong of the three of us!

GnarlyEddy: F

Annie&Moe: F

Sheldon: F

Shelly: F

Donny: ...F

SquidbeakCaptain: I think Eight gets it, so you guys can stop now.

RollingInkGirl: Aww but I was gonna join in too!

SquidbeakCaptain: ANYWAYS, Eight and I are gonna go now. Need our sleep and all.

AgentEight: About time!

SquidbeakCaptain: Again, if you guys have any suggestions for an apology gift for Pearl, DM me.

SquidbeakCaptain: Later guys.

420 Splat It: See ya!

AgentEight: Sweet dreams everyone.

RollingInkGirl: Have a good rest you guys!

DJHyperfresh: You clearly deserve it after a hard day's work looking after Asher.

GnarlyEddy: Wait, why is Four leaving?

420 Splat It: Because I want an excuse for cuddles~

Bisk: Gross.

420 Splat It: Screw off, Bisk. Go make out with Sean or something.

CrustySean: W-What...?!

Bisk: Screw you Four...

Annie&Moe: H-Have a good nap y-you guys!

Shelly: What Ms. Annie said!

Donny: ...Annie said!

AgentEight: Thanks guys... well, later!

> AgentEight has left the game.

> 420 Splat It has left the game.

> SquidbeakCaptain has left the game.

> OctobotKing2.0 has experienced kinetic energy.

OctobotKing2.0: God damn it!

DJHyperfresh: What happened?

CraigCuttlefish: We were working on Octavio's pulsar cannon when he noticed one side was a little... off.

OctobotKing2.0: You know how OCD I can be sometimes! Symmetry is a must!

CraigCuttlefish: Anyways, he flew down on his elytra to go fix the problem and I guess he hit the wall a little too hard.

TheEelDeal: Damn, skill issues.

SharkBandit: Pfft!

Big Man Time!: Just because it's funny doesn't mean you should make fun of him for something he couldn't control!

OctobotKing2.0: I hate all of you.