Archive of Our Own ^beta

Kaeya loves books ever since he can remember. He loves how the main character changes and goes through ups and downs, but in the end he always gets what he wants with the help of the people around him. When he was a child he liked to relate the characters of the stories he read to people he knew, making himself the protagonist. He always had a lot of imagination and, even though his biological father always told him to wake up and look at the real life, he couldn't help getting lost in his imaginary world.

Nowadays, Kaeya still idealizes his world that only exists in his head. Of course, he would never admit that. He is a Cavalry Captain, he can't let anyone see his childish habit. He often locks himself up in his office, day dreaming while doing paperwork. He also let his imagination spill when he played with Klee, which resulted in him often being the hero who saved Klee from the dangers of the forest (it usually ended with him trying to save the poor fishes that Klee decided to bomb out of boredom).

This time, Kaeya is sitting by the Statue of the Seven near Springvale, watching Dawn Winery from the distance. The sight of the mansion used to fill him with regret after his fight with his estranged brother, but now it only brings good memories and many what-if's. What if he goes there and visits the staff? What if he meets Diluc on the way and they reconcile? What if he gets attacked and his big brother saves him like he used to in the past? Those thoughts are written on his small notebook, used only for this specific times when he lets himself zone out. He wrote so many ideas and ideal scenaries that sometimes he had a hard time differentiating fiction from reality. That's why he decided to note everything down, to check if that "memory" was part of his imagination or if it was really true. And, as every time he checks, it's always a false memory. He is never going to receive a look of warmth or worry from his brother again. He is not going to get that surname he grew to love back. He is never going to be the hero that saves Mondstadt, for it is his mission to be villain in the story of this nation.

But, while his father is away, he lets himself love the people of the city of Freedom, their culture, their gastronomy, their landscapes that were exactly like he imagined when he read fairy tales back in Khaenri'ah. It's cruel that he has to betray them some day, but he also loved his own nation. Even though there was no sky there, the city alone managed to be breathtaking. Their technology was the envy of Teyvat. They didn't need to travel or use teleport points to see someone, they could just see each other through holograms. Carriages? Ha! No one used that there, it was too old. Instead, they used a new invention that they called "car". Sure, they had many things to fix, like creating some security system for the passengers and increase the space of the seats, but hey, they no longer had to depend on animals. So when Kaeya first arrived at Dawn Winery, he felt as if he had time traveled in the past. He took some time to get used to their lifestyle but he never complained, he also liked that.

To avoid people from reading his little scenaries, he writes in Khaenria'hn and if someone asks him, he can just say he is practicing the language along with Lisa, who it seems knows the basics. Now, with a new idea in his head, he starts writing right away not to forget anything.

αѕ ι кησ¢к ση тнє ∂σσя σƒ тнє мαηѕιση, α∂єℓιη∂є σρєηѕ ωιтн ∂ιℓυ¢ ρєєкιηg вєнιη∂ нєя. ι яє¢ιєνє α ωαям ℓσσк ƒяσм вσтн σƒ тнєм αη∂ тнєу ιηνιтє мє тσ єηтєя. ∂ιℓυ¢ ѕαуѕ нє нαѕ му σℓ∂ яσσм ρяєραяє∂ ιη ¢αѕє ι ωαηт тσ ѕтαу тнє ηιgнт. ωє нανє α ηι¢є ¢σηνєяѕαтιση αη∂ нє тєℓℓѕ мє нє мιѕѕєѕ мє. ι ѕтαу тнє ηιgнт αη∂ ωє gσ тняσυgн συя ρнσтσѕ тнαт αяє ѕανє∂ ιη αη αℓвυм συя ƒαтнєя gανє мє ƒσя му вιятн∂αу.

He sighs. It is truly a shame that alchemy can only make drawings real and not words. He would give anything to be the Kaeya in his notebook. The Kaeya that receives love from eveyone, that doesn't have to choose between nations, that is able to make Khaenri'ahns turn back to normal and live in peace in Teyvat. Oh, how he wishes for all of that to be true. But the sun is going down and it's time to go back to the city, so Kaeya gets up and starts making his way back.

His notebook is supposed to be a secret from everyone, but not all secrets last forever. His notebook fell when he arrived the city and the Darknight Hero noticed that from the rooftops. The vigilante was going to give it back until he saw the content.

Diluc also knows Khaenri'ahn, not fully but a little more than Lisa. He learnt the foreign language at the same time Kaeya learnt theirs. It made communiation easier when Kaeya couldn't remember a word. The red haired knows he shouldn't read it. It's Kaeya's diary after all, or at least that's what it looks like. After reading a few lines, he is sure it is certainly NOT a diary. In the notebook there are written weird scenaries, some more surreal than others. He notices he appears in most of the mini stories playing the role of the saviour or the big brother that takes care of his little brother. He's confused, why does Kaeya write all these things? He remembers how Kaeya loved to roleplay when they were little, but he thought that stopped when they were teens. Maybe he was embarassed when Diluc showed no interest in that anymore? 

Diluc decides not to question it and keep reading. He is curious about what goes on inside the younger's head.

αƒтєя нανιηg ѕαι∂ тнє тяυтн тσ му вяσтнєя, нє ιηмє∂ιαтєℓу ρυℓℓѕ мє ιηтσ α нυg, нιѕ ρуяσ νιѕιση ωαямιηg мє ƒяσм тнє ¢σℓ∂ яαιη. нє тєℓℓѕ мє єνєяутнιηg ιѕ αℓяιgнт αη∂ тнαт, ησ мαттєя ωнαт ι ¢нσσѕє, нє ωιℓℓ вє тнєяє ву му ѕι∂є. тσgєтнєя, ωє αяє αвℓє тσ ƒιη∂ α ¢υяє ƒσя тнє кнαєηяια'нηѕ' ¢υяѕє αη∂ му ρєσρℓє вє¢σмє нυмαη αgαιη. ησω тнαт ι нανє ƒяєє∂ му ρєσρℓє, му вισℓσgι¢αℓ ƒαтнєя αвѕєηтѕ мє ƒяσм му ∂υтιєѕ αѕ ρяιη¢є αη∂ ѕρу αη∂ ℓєтѕ мє ¢σηтιηυє му ℓιƒє ιη мση∂ѕтα∂т.

Is Kaeya writing how he would like things to go? Are these Kaeya's desires? How he wishes his life to be? If so, then Dliuc doesn't know how to feel. He shouldn't have reacted the way he did that night. He should have been the Diluc that is written in those pages. But reading this has also made him realize that Kaeya is on Mondstadt's and Khaenriah's side. He is scared he will fight on Khaenriah's side when the time comes, but at least now he knows Kaeya doesn't want Mondtadt to suffer. His thoughts are interrupted by the door that has been abruptly opened. There stands Kaeya wide eyed and panting as if he just ran all the way from the city to the Winery.

"Give it back!!" he screams while he throws himself on top of Diluc, trying to snatch his notebook. "You weren't supposed to read that!! No one, in fact!!"

"Hey, hey, hey! Before you get your notebook back and run away I think we need to talk" says the pyro user. "Now sit down unless you want me to burn it!"

Kaeya obeys inmediately, not getting his eyes out of his belonging.

"So, care to explain me what all these stories are?" asks Diluc calmly, showing the other he's not angry. He knows how anxious Kaeya gets in this type of situations.

"I, uh... They are like, uuuh, made up stories? Pleasegiveitbackiwanttogo."

"Calm down, Kaeya. You did nothing wrong. Do these stories have any kind of purpose?" he asks out of curiosity. Now that he has Kaeya here, he wants to solve all his questions.

"No, they're just ideal scenarios I make up in my head. This is really embarassing..." his gaze is focused on the floor, not wanting to look at the other in the eyes. His face was blushing madly. This is truly embarassing for him.

"I see. I think they are truly wholesome. At least, the few ones I read." that surprised Kaeya and their eyes fimally meet.

"Really? You're not angry that I want Khaenria'hns to be happy too? You know, since we are, well, sinners."

"Of course not. I think it's completely normal for someone to want their nation to be okay."

"And you're not mad that I write about you things that you wouldn't do?"

"Things that I wouldn't do? You mean things like this?" he hugs Kaeya and notices his body tense for a while, but it doesn't take him long to hug him back. He feels his right shoulder getting wet, sign that Kaeya is crying.

"I'm sorry for not having been by your side all these years, Kaeya. But I promise you I'll make everything right from now on. We'll make up for lost time. I know that it'll take us some time to be back to how we used to, but know I'm here for anything that you need... Kae." the nickname makes Kaeya break in sobs.

"This is too good to be true. Sometimes I don't know what's real and what's not, so if this is fake, please let me stay here a little longer."