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Chapter Text

Childe’s days went by, and soon enough the memories of piercing gold eyes and dark hair were gone. They were no longer sweet memories he hoped to take back with him to Snezhnaya, and instead they were bittersweet, leaving an empty feeling behind. 

Zhongli had walked into his dull existence with a simple handshake and a friendly smile, “Welcome to Liyue. It's a pleasure to finally meet you, my name is Zhongli and I'm the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor Consultant. And, it appears that I will be your personal guide from here on out.” 

As he gazed into his eyes, those warm molten eyes he knew that he didn’t stand a chance. 

He tried to contain the occasional flutter of his heart; like a sick staccato meant to mock him. He tried to ignore the warmth he felt when Zhongli would gaze at him with that fond expression that strangely always seemed to placate his mood. 

He tried to ignore the subtle but lingering touches, that ranged from a soft comforting pat on the hand, to a hand that lay far too low on his back. Such touches, would always cause his brain to turn to mush. 

He tried to ignore the way he desired to monopolize Zhongli’s attention to himself. He tried to ignore the way he wanted the man, so desperately, even if he knew he could never. 

They were only supposed to be business partners and nothing else. 

But, even so, Childe allowed the foolish part of his brain to trick him into letting his guard down. It was even encouraging him to feel such emotions. Somehow, he felt as if he could trust this encyclopedia of a man, a man who spoke in nothing but flowery language and flattery. 

Tartaglia obviously opposed this, being conditioned to fight and guard his inner most sensitive parts. He was born to fight. Trained to withstand anything...But he was never trained to be resistant to these overbearing feelings he struggled to contain. 

"Don’t do it, you’ll only get yourself hurt," the rational part of his brain screamed at him. Warning him of the impending doom he would inevitably face. 

But, even so, Childe chose to ignore, preferring to loose himself in the warmth of Zhongli’s eyes. 

He knew it should’ve been a trap; something too good to be the true. And yet, he walked right into it, like a foolish sailor following the siren's sweet melody.  

He had seen the Traveler running into the Golden House, and so, with his own curiosity piqued, he followed her. 

___________________________

It was a mistake.

One that he wished he could take back. 

One that he wanted so badly to take back. 

When he went inside the Golden Palace, he had decided to hide behind the entrance of it, and decided to eavesdrop instead, eager to hear why it was that Lumine had walked in. After all, she did seem to be in a hurry, Paimon flying behind her in a hurried flutter. 

After spending so much time as the Tsaritsa's lapdog, eavesdropping was a skill that was almost second nature to him. Besides, it was also in his nature to snoop in others businesses. Over the years, this skill had proven to be fruitful. 

He concentrated on the muffled voices, and scowled when he heard who it was. 

Signora. 

The name alone felt like thick cement in his mouth. 

If anyone could be the human embodiment of a peacock, it would be her. She flashed her colors whenever she went, goading anyone to challenge her. But, to top it all off, she was a real bootlicker. Anytime they were on a mission, she would make Childe do the dirty work and then take credit when it would go right, or she would use him as a scapegoat when it ended up blowing up in her face. 

Besides that, she had never respected Childe. He was always too immature, too impulsive, too reckless. She always made him seem like a fucking mangy dog in front of their Tsaritsa, fluttering her lashes and puffing out her chest like a ridiculous bird. 

But, what pissed him off more was when he realized exactly who she was talking to. 

"Your performance was truly striking, Morax. You truly outdid yourself," she purred, stroking his ego no doubt.

Morax? 

The Archon, Morax? That Morax? 

Childe huffed. So, while he was left doing all the busy work, she gets to stride in wearing her ridiculous outfit and talk to a fucking god. And not just any god, but the god of war himself. Besides, who ever told Signora that she was even worthy enough to talk with the Archon of the region? 

It was bullshit. 

But, his frustration fizzled out when he heard the voice respond to her. 

"On the contrary. If it had not been for your help, I would not have been able to finish what I started. I am forever in Snezhnaya's debt." 

That voice. 

Baritone and deep, warm and smooth. 

But, it couldn't right? He...

He rushed in, and his stomach dropped. 

Zho-No-Morax was handing his Gnosis over to Signora, his expression neutral, as his eyes glowed, “A contract to end all contracts.”

Signora's lips pursed into arrogant smile, and when she turned her gaze to follow Childe's explosive entry, her grin only grew. 

She knew. 

His face was one of bitter betrayal. 

He couldn’t believe what was happening. His body was frozen, as he turned to look at Zhongli. A part of him pleading for Zhongli to look up at him and reassure him that it had been a dream. That he hadn't just handed the Gnosis over to Signora, that he hadn't used him all this time for his masterplan.

His eyes were soft, “Zhongli?? What's the meaning of this? What the fuck is going on?” 

Zhongli's gaze remained steadfast on the floor, refusing to look up. An admission of guilt. 

Guilt so clear, it paled in comparison to ice. 

It stung. 

"Well, well. It seems our dear Tartaglia seems quite confused, wouldn’t you say......Morax?”  

Laughing, she gestured towards Morax who remained still, neutral. His eyes betraying no emotion, contrary to his body language that conveyed everything Childe needed to know. 

"Quit your fucking games, Signora. What the hell is going on here!” 

Signora never gave him a moment of respite. She never did take pity on him. Even when he was just a little kid in comparison to the gaggle of Harbingers.

Her eyes were cold, “It is exactly what it seems.....While you were caught up in your arrogance and while you were having fun playing around, you were too ignorant to see what was under your nose the whole time. You were never supposed to retrieve the Gnosis. Our Tsaritsa sent you, as a distractio…I mean come on, Tartaglia…it was to be expected. After all, I was always the one to get things done, that’s why the Tsaritsa personally requested me to babysit you.” 

Tartaglia shook with rage, barely holding back the angry tears that threatened to spill down his face, “..Signora!” 

He threw himself at her. Without thinking, the irrational part of his brain took control of him. However, even he knew that he was no match for Signora, not right now at least. He had just fought the Traveler with the Foul Legacy. He was outmatched, and it showed when she easily sidestepped his punch, laughing all the while. 

Laughing at him. 

“Now, now, Tartaglia, you aren’t being fair. I’m not the one you should be mad at, after all, the man who actually betrayed you is standing right in front of you.....It’s not like I was the one who forced him to lie to you and give up his gnosis, he willingly agreed to it.” 

Childe stilled, and finally turned to hold Zhongli’s guilt ridden expression, he could tell she was telling the truth and his heart shattered.

He had suffered great humiliation and shame all for the sake of a man…who wasn’t even a mortal. 

He was a god who had lied to him all to achieve his master plan. 

He had been manipulated. 

Another pawn. 

It was stupid, he was stupid. 

Why couldn’t he have seen what was clearly in front of his eyes the whole entire time? Zhongli knew too much about Liyue’s history to simply be a mortal man. Now that he thought of it, he could have also sworn his hair glowed in the dark (but Childe only chalked it up to be the trick of his eyes or the light). And there had been other times where he had seen the man's teeth grow far too sharp to be human teeth, when he was eating particularly chewy meat. 

So, in reality, he had seen everything for himself. 

He had seen through the mortal disguise that Morax had made, but his growing affection for the man had overshadowed the truth that was standing there before him. 

He had played Childe perfectly like a guzheng; he was only another pawn for the God's own benefit. 

An interchangeable object, an insignificant placeholder. 

Childe allowed himself to be strung along with the soft smiles and long nightly conversations under the starry sky. He allowed himself to be fooled by such a beautiful person. He had willingly been seduced by a siren; knowing he was going to be eaten in the end. 

He had played an unpredictable game, and he had lost. 

He hurried out of there, only Lumine and Paimon’s worried voices called out to him.

La Signora could tell the flash of misery in Morax’s gaze but didn’t comment on it, taking the Gnosis and leaving on her own accord. The aftermath of such an event was not her problem. She had already lived past her age of getting mixed up in lover's quarrels. 

The Traveler and Paimon looked wide-eyed and almost pitiful as they stared the direction from where Childe had run out of. 

Signora almost felt bad for him…...almost. 

_______________________

After the humiliation that was the whole Gnosis situation, Childe decided to spend the rest of his time in Liyue stuck in his apartment and occasionally taking out his frustrations on nearby Hilichurl camps…sometimes even Ruin Guards…

To be honest, he took out his anger and feelings onto anything that crossed his path.

To the point whereexhaustion overtook him and he would pass out in the middle of the forest, only to then wake up, floating in water. 

His heart had not expected Zhongli to walk into his life. 

He had not been prepared to deal with such a man.  

Up until that point, his life had the same routine: Wake up, go on a mission, receive orders from the Tsaritsa, kill, rinse, repeat.

He was the Tsaritsa’s Vanguard after all. 

The mangy dog that followed its master's orders. 

That was almost something he was especially ordered to do, on a regular basis. He had no time to consider his own feelings, or take others into consideration. That wasn’t something he had time for, in his line of work. Even spending time with his family had become a mission in itself. He had to charm people with his boyish charm, and then kill them afterwards. It was the same for every mission. 

The stupid idea of love and the idea of settling down, had never been a priority to him. 

It never has been and it will never be. 

However, ever since he stared back into those cor lapis eyes, they seemed to drag him in.

So, like a bug caught in a cobweb, he was trapped before he knew it. 

Zhongli had single-handedly managed to rip him out of the mediocrity that was his life and had shown him what it felt like to be cared for and loved.

Every single gaze, every light touch, every story, every smile......made him feel something. 

For the first time, ever since he had fallen into the Abyss, he felt like perhaps he was worthy enough to have a close relationship with someone. The void in his heart was finally going to get filled up with something as simple as human connection, and he craved it. 

And occasionally he would day-dream about sharing the rest of his life with Zhongli. He had come to see the man as a life-long partner, the only person he wanted to marry and grow old with. 

And in these day-dreams, he dreamt of memories that never came true. 

Would Zhongli hold him through his nightmares? Would he whisper sweet nothings into his ear, as he calmed him down? Would he manage to understand him, love him for everything that he is? Would he kiss him gently through his tears? Would he let Ajax know his most intimate and private feelings? Would he let Ajax accept everything that he was, and love him nonetheless? Would he propose to him during a day spent on the beach, and would Ajax cry as he eagerly accepted his proposal? Or would his proposal come after a quiet night spent in bed? Or would Ajax propose to Zhongli first? Would their marriage ceremony be as beautiful as he thought it would be? Would he trace over his scars lightly with his fingertips? Would he get to see Zhongli's ugly sides, and get to love them nevertheless? Would he ever get to spend mornings spent in bed, as he brought breakfast to Zhongli in bed? Would he love him even after they were old? Would he treasure every last memory after he died? 

All of these childish thoughts were thrown out, as soon as the truth was out. 

The truth was: Zhongli never considered him a friend nor could he ever love him, or did he ever love him. The only reason he had gotten closer to Childe was because he saw him as a pawn in his twisted game of chess. He never saw him as anything more than a pawn. 

He was only a pawn, not a friend, not a lover, not an enemy. 

He was a pawn. 

Somehow, that information only managed to make his chest hurt even more, was he ever considered worthy enough to be Zhongli’s…...anything? 

He no longer felt the seething anger thrumming in his veins. After all, his anger was a cover up for the embarrassment he felt, which only served as a deeper cover up the hurt he truly felt. 

However, even Childe knew he could not dwell on such stupid fleeting emotions; it was bound to happen.

Tartaglia had warned him, but he turned a blind eye to it all. 

He was the one who was wrong. 

_________________________

A month had passed, and Ajax was only counting the days after his departure from Liyue. He wanted to leave the burning humiliation and his feelings behind in Liyue.

And hopefully never return to the dreaded city ever again. 

He watched the people outside of his apartment window pass and envied how joyful they looked. A particular couple, made his heart clench in jealousy.

They were a young couple, it seemed.

Barely in their teens, it seemed. 

They were holding hands, smiling at each other.

Tartaglia tore his eyes away from window. 

They looked happy; in love. 

A sharp contrast to how miserable Ajax felt. He was almost jealous of how free they looked.

Freedom, huh. 

He sighed, and looked down to the unfinished letter perched on his desk, awaiting him. It was his latest letter to Tonia and Teucer. He had forgotten to write them a letter in a few days, and had caught wind through his underlings that they were getting increasingly worried about their big brother. Which, was honestly justified because he felt like shit. He had lost motivation to do anything, and according to Ekaterina, ‘went into a depression,’ whatever that meant. 

Normally, he pushed through whatever feelings he felt to write a letter back, but this time...the pen weighed heavily in his hand. He didn’t know what false stories to make up, and if he was honest, he didn't have it in him to lie to them this time. He could not force the fantastical white-lies he usually made up as a ‘Toy Salesman’ in Liyue.

Dear Tonia & Teucer…

He scribbled the rest of whatever he was beginning to write out; it was hopeless. 

He was hopeless, and he wanted to leave. 

However, he didn’t have time to hold onto self-pity before a knock rang out, startling him enough from his self-deprecating thoughts. He caught a glimpse of someone at his door. He ran towards the door, and opened it, in hopes to see a man dressed in black attire with golden accents, with those same molten eyes, and comforting baritone voice….only to meet a pair of concerned amber eyes….

Lumine? 

__________________________

Ajax slapped on Childe and smirked down at Lumine, "Oh, hey! Fancy seeing you here, are you finally ready for that rematch?”

Lumine stared up at Childe, her expression tired. Normally, when Lumine looked at him, she looked exasperated if not fond. But this time, she looked alarmed. And, next to her was Paimon, who was a wreck. 

What was going on? 

Lumine looked hesitant and parted her lips several times to speak, she looked terrified. A scared mouse cornered by cats. 

Childe quirked his eyebrow, wondering what had caused Lumine to look like someone had died, "...What’s wrong? Did someone die or something?”

Paimon’s eyes began to flood with tears and soon enough they started to fall freely from her face. But, she didn’t say anything and instead chose to sob into Lumine’s shoulder. Lumine still looked hesitant and similarly had tears clinging to her eyelashes, “Childe.....do you not know?”

Now, he was really confused? What didn’t he know? What the hell had happened ever since he was gone to elicit such a strong reaction from Lumine? Of all people he had met, Lumine had never been one to be particularly expressive. From what he had heard from other people, it was her brother who was the more emotionally expressive of the two...So, what gives? 

Childe released a soft laugh, mostly out of nerves, “Know about what?” 

Lumine looked even more choked up, her eyes widening almost comically, “You really don’t know…Childe…Zhongli…Zhongli is in grave danger.” 

Now, it was Childe’s turn to be surprised. What the hell did she mean by grave danger? 

The last time he had seen the ex-archon, he seemed to be perfectly fine. In fact, he had seen him only 5 days ago, walking down the street smiling and laughing happily with Lumine and Xiangling?

What the hell changed? 

Was this some sort of sick joke? 

No, Lumine’s reaction seemed too real for that to be true. 

He felt his chest start to clench, and his own eyes start to burn; his nerves fully taking him over, voice croaky and faint, “What do you mean?”

Lumine wiped at her damp eyes with her sleeve, before straightening herself out, “He collapsed 3 days ago, and he’s..." Lumine drew a large breath, "He's dying, Childe..” 

The full severity of the situation came crashing down onto Childe. The irony of the situation was too much to handle; of course the bastard had to start dying just when Childe was about to leave. Of course, just when he was starting to get over him. Childe remained silent for a minute, blinking back the rushing myriad of conflicting emotions that danced around freely in his head. It was too much to handle. But as always, he felt himself growing hot from rage. 

He was mad at himself, mad at Morax, mad at the world. 

Mad at everything. 

The cruel irony was too much; he wanted to scream. To grab Lumine by the shoulders and squeeze her throat with his hands until he felt her struggle and claw at his hands to stop. Until she no longer struggled and turned into silent putty under his hands. She was a fucking liar, she had to be. And Paimon was just staring at him with those same two clueless eyes that made him want to rip her apart. 

He drew in a breath this time. But, Lumine only continued, caught up in her own grief to even notice the danger next to her, “He’s inviting all of the people he cares for. Friends, acquaintances, and family to talk with him one more time. And…he umm…well, he asked for...you…” 

Childe soaked in the new information, feeling his ire cool down to negative degrees. Zhongli had asked for him, personally. 

But, why? 

Lumine sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, awkwardly spitting out her words like a garbled mess that didn't suit her, “Listen. He’s…bedridden…right now…and uhh..I-I..hope...you can.....come-Look, I know things didn’t end on the best note, and I know this is out of nowhere. I know how you feel and everything about him right now, given how things ended. But, he’s asked for you…and I promised that I would bring you with me. So, could you please come with us?”

Lumine stared up at him, desperation clear in her gaze, "Just this once, Childe. Then you can forget about it and deal with this on your own. But, I'm asking you as a friend," Lumine blushed when she said the last part, looking embarrassed to admit that she considered him a friend, despite everything. 

He pushed aside his feelings earning a soft watery smile from Lumine. 

___________________________

He looked worse than Childe had expected. 

Sure, he had seen many fatui soldiers seriously injured in his lifetime; and had even been the one with the extreme injuries…but, this was a sight he wasn’t sure he could handle. 

Zhongli's usual golden eyes were shut, his complexion was eerily pale. Like a corpse, like porcelain plates. He looked weak to the touch, so much so, that Childe almost couldn’t bring himself to touch him. 

This was the last place he would have thought he would meet up with Zhongli again. 

He never expected to see someone so radiant, on their deathbed. Someone who was supposed to be immortal and all-knowing, just what had happened. And, why was the terrible voice in the back of his head urging him to wrap his fingers around Zhongli's neck, and press into it, until he felt the sharp snap of his neck breaking under his fingers. With the state he was in, he would probably only have to use one. 

Lumine had led him inside of Zhongli’s house, leading him towards his room, a sight for sore eyes. Cluttered, filled with fancy trinkets and colorful embroidered blankets and silks. A room fit for a king, and furnished with the finest chiseled wooden furniture. But, now, the once nostalgic room looked suffocating. Like the walls were falling apart with their creator, caving in on his dying body.  

In the center, lied Zhongli. 

Zhongli looked a mess, his hair tangled, his eye bags heavy like had hadn't had sleep in years. Too pale for the man he knew. He analyzed his face for a while, staring at the man who he had felt so strongly for. 

He looked like a regular dying man, his godly status ripped apart and faced with his own newfound mortality. 

Ajax's eyes landed on particular strand of hair was laying on the side of his cheek, unkempt and unruly. He felt his hand reaching unconsciously towards it. A habit that he had long since become accustomed to. 

He felt a slap to his hand. 

He looked up and was met with similar molten eyes, but these looked like they could pierce through your very soul; it was Lumine’s friend…that green adeptus..

He eyed Childe up, his eyes narrowed and piercing like a cat's. He rotated the spear in his hand, ready to pin Childe to the wall. If the situation was different, then perhaps, Childe would’ve challenged him to a spar, but for some strange reason, he didn’t. 

Xiao clenched his fist tight, shoving Childe to the wall, pining him with his spear, “Why the fuck are you here! Abyssal creature!”

Lumine rushed to the adeptus’ side, shoving him, “Xiao...not now." 

Xiao snarled, gritting his teeth, “I don’t know why you brought him here, he nearly drowned all of Liyue Harbor! He’s the reason…”  He paused and looked towards Zhongli, his cat-eyes softening, “He’s the reason my Lord managed to obtain that absurd disease!” 

Disease? What disease? What was he talking about? 

Lumine sighed, arms wrapped around her own torso, “Xiao…please…Zhongli himself insisted on bringing him here. You can't do this here. You'll be disrespecting his wishes...They could be his last...” 

Xiao deflated, closing his eyes and fighting against himself. He squared his shoulders, huffed, before he pointed his spear towards Childe, eyes narrowed, “Try anything and I'll kill you myself. My Lord's wishes be damned,” before he vanished into a puff of anemo. 

_____________________

After Xiao left, more of Zhongli’s adepti friends (family) came, all bringing gifts with them. 

The first one that came was Ganyu, she had brought a bracelet made from Qingce flowers. She got the delicate bracelet and wrapped it gingerly around his fragile wrist. Tying it like it was the most special thing in the world. She had spared a single glance towards Childe, but somehow it did not seem to hold any contempt like Xiao’s.

Instead, it seemed to hold a look Childe could not place his finger on; that same look she had gave him the first time they had met.

She knelt by the side of his bed, and regularly felt his pulse-almost nervously, before another adeptus by the name of Madam Ping showed up. Ajax felt like the air in the room was suffocating him, and yet, he couldn’t leave yet. He had to wait until Zhongli woke up to tell him whatever he was supposed to. 

He felt like leaving, and he probably would have already done so, if not for Lumine being in the room. 

Madam Ping showed up soon enough, as well as 2 crane-like adeptus and a deer-like adeptus. 

Madam Ping looked at Childe with great sympathy in her gentle eyes, and the familiar gaze that Ganyu sent his way, “You must be Childe, I suppose.” 

Childe nodded, and instantly felt the stares of many adepti at once, which all looked at him with a different combination of stares. 

The tall blue-crane looked at him up and down and exclaimed, “So, this is the human our lord has chosen. Tch. Out of everyone, that may have caught his attention. He chose the foreign traitor who nearly caused Liyue harbor to sink and its people to be killed by that wretch? Hmph, it seems like our Lord's strange tastes still remain true." She garbled something about "red hair", scowled and looked back towards Madam Ping, who kept a placid smile on her face. 

Soon enough they started to eye him with the same contempt Xiao had, realizing he was the scoundrel that had destroyed the place they had protected for millennia. Another adeptus screeched out, “Our Lord must be crazy, going for this one of all mortals!” 

Three of the adepti nodded, agreeing, “Yes what in the Abyss was our Lord thinking! Even going as far as to contract this absurd disease, all because of this puny human.” 

“Yes, this one can’t believe how blasphemous this whole situation has turned out to be,” the blue crane grumbled. 

Madam Ping sighed, “We must respect our lord’s decision, we can’t argue like this. Especially when his body is under a lot of stress,” she wiped the sweat forming on Zhongli's face with practiced ease. 

They quieted down, but they peered into Childe with a burning hatred. Madam Ping looked around and sighed, putting the handkerchief on the nightstand,“Ganyu, how are his meridians?” 

Ganyu looked up, “They're still intact but.." she fiddled with her lip, "They are gradually losing energy..” 

Madam Ping made her way toward Zhongli before leaning down and taking his hand as well. She pressed her fingers against his wrist, and nodded, “Yes, that seems to be the case," she sighed, "The situation does not seem good.” 

“If I may ask.....what is wrong with him exactly?” 

He felt his voice come out before he even made the conscious decision to speak. 

But, he regretted doing so. The entire room erupted into judgement filled gazes, as they gossiped amongst themselves. Drawing an invisible line between them. 

Us Vs. Him. 

Madam Ping took a long breath before answering, her age noticeable on the wrinkles in her forehead, “Rex Lapis or Zhongli as you know him, is suffering from a disease that debilitates the body and only affects archons.."

She stood up and grabbed his hand, in a gesture so familiar to Childe, her warmth radiating onto his cold hand. A gesture that was synonymous with the warmth of the babushka's back home, "It does not have a name, but it is something we have been noting within the first couple of archon’s whose gnoses have been ripped away from them. Now, normally, archon’s do not need their gnoses to survive. However, when faced with extreme stress and long periods of exposure to miasma or abyssal energy, they are corrupted."

She sighed, patting his hand, "Without their gnoses they are rendered weak to the exposure long-term and will eventually perish if they do not regain their gnoses. As they act as a purifier for this kind of energy, and so without them, as you can imagine, the damage is far too much....We have done our best to stabilize his condition, but no amount of purification can save his life. Even if you were to remove the entirety of the energy attached to him, he would still succumb to its withering effects....We wrote a letter to your Tsaritsa and have requested to give his gnosis back temporarily while this problem resolves itself..."

Childe looked around the room, everyone's gazes were downcast, "...Where is the gnosis then?.." 

Madam Ping closed her eyes, before she cupped his face, "Dear boy....the gnosis has vanished.” 

Childe was stunned.

Morax's gnosis vanished?

How?

He swallowed, “How...how was he exposed? What happened to him?” 

“It’s all my fault."

He turned to look at a downcast Lumine. Her voice small and shaky,“....We were out completing the Adventurer’s Guild missions in Qingce Village, when....he suddenly got attacked by a horde of rift wolves. I tried to fend them off as best as I could but they kept coming out. I warned Zhongli against fighting them alone, but he told me to evacuate the rest of the villagers. I agreed and…”

Lumine looked down in shame, hands quivering. 

Madam Ping gave a small smile before she went over and rubbed Lumine's shoulder, causing the tears to spill, “....Calm down, child. It was not your fault. Our Lord knew the risk he was putting himself into when he fought them. Do not blame yourself.” 

“It wasn’t your fault. It was his!” Xiao pointed his spear, singling Childe out, accusatory. His fangs barred and his expression enraged, "If he hadn’t left my Lord in shambles, then perhaps my Lord wouldn’t have been so reckless.” 

Madam Ping turned towards him, her expression stern, “Xiao, it is not his fault, please, quell your anger.....How many times do I have to remind you? All of you. We promised our Lord we would take care of him in his absence. It’s our duty as adepti to follow our Lord’s orders in his absence, we must respect his wishes and protect this mortal with our lives. After all, that is our duty. Our divine doctrine..” 

All of the adepti nodded, as if they had been reprimanded like children.

However, Xiao was still an unruly child and still refused, “...Madam Ping, you did not see my lord after this abyssal scum left him! He was reckless and did things he had never done before, just like all those years ago....I tried to reason with him, but he was too far gone. And then, he did that stupid move and put himself in harms way. How can you stand there and tell me I can’t blame him!” 

The room fell silent, but it was all interrupted by a soft cough. 

Zhongli had awoken. 

________________________________

Zhongli stood up, before Ganyu rushed forward and gently pushed him back, "My Lord, do not exert yourself too much." 

He chuckled, “Cloud Retainer, Mountain Shaper, Moon Carver, Adeptus Xiao, Madam Ping, Ms. Lumine, I’m glad to see you all here.” 

Cloud Retainer pecked at Zhongli’s head, careful to not hurt him, “This one is very cross with you! You fought those beasts by yourself without calling for us," she huffed, "My Lord, were you underestimating us? This one may be old, but one still has retained one's abilities in combat.” 

Zhongli grinned and shook his head, “I do not doubt your abilities, Cloud Retainer…Frankly, I was not thinking. And I hope you all can forgive me for my reckless actions.” 

Cloud Retainer sighed heavily, “One guesses she can forgive you.” 

Ganyu cleared her throat, “What she means is that she has been worried sick about you, my Lord. She couldn't sleep and was researching frantically about your ailment. The bags under her eyes were as big as the Yellow River!” 

Cloud Retainer gasps, “Insolent child, don’t you dare speak against your elders!” She pecked at Ganyu's head, while the girl laughed and ran around the room, covering her head with her hands. 

Cloud Retainer eventually stopped chasing Ganyu around and placed a small incense burner in the shape of Rex Lapis on his nightstand. It produced a pleasant smell, like sandalwood and silk flowers. Zhongli's preferred perfume, a smell he would always catch a whiff of on nearby perfume stalls and shops.

"This one brought some incense to help lessen the aroma of the dead in here." 

Zhongli chuckled heartily, his eyes turning into crescent moons (although the other Adepti seemed scandalized by her bold statement). His eyes displayed a certain warmness that Ajax selfishly hoped he would be the subject of once more, "Thank you, Cloud Retainer. You have been a great friend and have served Liyue and it's people well." 

She huffed and stepped aside, murmuring something ineligible, allowing for the other adepti to give out their gifts. Moon Carver and Mountain Shaper then stepped up and set down a pot of what appeared to be Bamboo Shoot Soup.

Zhongli’s favorite. 

Moon Carver spoke up first, “My Lord, we hope you will like what we have brought you. We will promise to protect him, with all of our might......Even if he is quite unsavory...A rascal is quite not the words we would use to describe him...” 

Zhongli let out a small chuckle, “Thank you Moon Carver, Mountain Shaper. I really appreciate it, with all of my heart.” 

The duo bowed, before they turned away from him and let Xiao pass to the front. His hand gripped tightly onto a small vial of pain medicine. Childe recognized the bottle immediately, Zhongli had once explained to him that the medicine is only meant to be used by Adepti due to its potency, much to his dismay.  

“My Lord, I have brought some medicine for you," he stood rigidly, "I hope it will bring my Lord some relief from the pain he must feel.”

Zhongli nodded and patted Xiao’s hand with the only mobility he had left in his hands, “Thank you, my Vigilant Yaksha, you have served me well.” Xiao nodded in response, though he looked slightly sheepish at such a compliment. 

Zhongli turned towards Lumine, who anxiously paced through the room, “And, Ms. Lumine, I appreciate all you have done for me. Thank you. You inadvertently helped me with my plan. You've fulfilled a long-term personal wish of mine. My people are able to sustain themselves without my divine intervention. This small act will push forward a new era for Liyue and its citizens, and for all those I hold dear. And, for that, I can never truly repay you.” 

“No, I haven’t done anything to deserve any praise. There is really no need to repay me. In fact, I owe you my own personal thanks. Even if you have not provided much information on the whereabouts of my brother, you've been a great friend. But, I really don't like to feel indebted to anyone. So, I brought what I promised you.” 

Zhongli’s eyes widen and he stands up in his bed way too fast, clenching his teeth in pain. Xiao immediately comes to his side, already pulling the cap off of the medicine and pouring it onto a spoon, “My Lord, please, have some of this.” 

Zhongli complies and takes the medicine before he glances over to where Childe is standing awkwardly, his eyes sparkling, “Ajax…you have come..” 

All of a sudden, he is the center of attention once more and he can feel the stares of the other adepti boring into him, “...Yeah..” 

He tensely walks towards Zhongli, and begrudgingly the other adepti allow him to go by Zhongli’s side.

Zhongli’s lets out a long breathe, his eyes water, “My dearest Ajax, I have hurt you, deeply. When I made that contract with La Signora, I did not know that I would grow to cherish, love and look forward to our time together. I never thought I would grow as close to you as I did. My lifetime has been long and arduous, and I found myself living with no sense of purpose. Despite being a god with all of the time in the universe, my affections are kept close to my heart. What you have reignited in me, can not be described," He sighed, "But even so, I never meant to hurt you, but I had to make a choice. It was either my own heart, or Liyue’s citizens. It was the hardest choice I have ever made in my entire lifetime, but I had to choose my people. I am.....truly sorry, I should have never lied about my true identity, but with the contract already in motion......I could not turn back what was already sealed in stone.........I hope you will be able to forgive me,” he looked at Ajax with soft glowing tears leaving his downtrodden eyes. 

Childe let out a shaky breath, “This is really unfair Zhongli," he drew in a breath, "You know, normally, I would have challenged you to a duel. It's a tradition I do, to settle any bad blood between us. But, with you being in the state you are in, I can’t. I-I still haven’t forgiven you. You lied to me and used me as a pawn Zhongli, do you have any idea how hurt I felt after everything. To find out that you've been masquerading as my guide and playing me for a fool. I gave you my heart, Zhongli. It's not easy for me to do that. I've never given anyone else my heart, I've never let anyone in. And you betrayed my trust. I loved you. How can I even know that you didn't lie about loving me? How can I know that our time together was more than just another act for you?"

"...I do love you.." 

Ajax turned to look at Zhongli in the eyes, forcing himself to stare in the eyes of his lover. 

They were on fire, Ajax shivered, but continued, "I don't want you to die....I don’t want you to fucking die!! Zhongli. Why couldn’t you have at least waited until I got over my anger?!.....It’s…really unfair Xiansheng. How am I supposed to feel when you say that...” 

Ajax felt his face burn, blinking rapidly leaving behind small round imprints on the covers below him. 

Zhongli brought his hand to Ajax’s cheek, brushing away the tears, “I know it is not fair to you my dearest treasure. I wished that I could have given you more time to fully process the weight of my identity and continued on our path, together.......However, I-I can't do anything to stop what is happening with my body.....I am dying, Ajax.....Though, I wish I could have been better towards you my dearest, I am truly sorry...” 

He lets go. 

His tears fall freely now, like a cruel but sweet cascade. 

___________________________

Ajax doesn’t know when he left.

After Zhongli had stroked his cheeks a couple of more times, something in him seemed to snap, and he suddenly yanked away Zhongli’s gentle calloused hands. And the bitter taste in his tongue only seemed to amplify when he saw the look on Zhongli's face, "...I'm sorry, Ajax....this is not fair to you......But, I meant every word I said to you....You are the love of my life......And I love yo-" 

Zhongli's eyes widened. In a hurry, he hunched over and began to cough. A sound knocking at the death's door. He pressed his hands to his mouth, blood dripped down his hands and onto the white covers. 

Blood. 

Ajax's eyes went wide, as he rushed towards Zhongli, his hands on his back, as he tried to reassure the God, but it was too much. 

Zhongli was dying. Zhongli loved him. 

Ajax felt his heart break, as he felt his resolve and courage shatter. So instead, he ran, and ran, and ran, until he was far away from Zhongli's apartment.

It no longer mattered. 

Just before Childe could forgive the man, just when he was starting to heal and move on from him. Suddenly, Zhongli was going to die? 

He looked down. His hands were covered with red. The warm smell of death, he was covered in it. 

Whose blood, he didn’t know, nor did he care. His ears were ringing and his mind was floating; it no longer seemed to matter. He wanted to curse the world. He wanted to scream at himself, when the person he loved the most was in danger, he was too busy moping around feeling sorry for himself. 

It was unfair. 

All he could hear now was the crushing of bones and warmth that splashed his face. He sat down the nearest tree he could find, away from the trail of blood he had left behind. He rested his tired body against it. 

His emotions were a jumble. He slumped forward, and like he did at 14 years old when he first fell down The Abyss, he broke down. He wasn't a warrior anymore, he was stripped down to his barest state; raw and naked. He was still the same scared child who had wailed and called out for his mother, only to be met with silence. 

Deafening silence. 

No one would hear him here. He was alone, the tears were no more relief. He leaned back and stared at the sky. 

Clear blue. A mockery of perfect day. He had yearned for days like this back home. But now, it all seemed empty. There was no reason for any of this anymore. How could he face reality when he woke up? 

How could he face Zhongli's corpse when he wakes up? His cold and limp body, dressed in his best clothes. His death would be meaningless like everyone else. His followers had already grieved him. His family would grieve, but they would move on. They looked calmer than he was. 

They had been through many deaths, another one would be nothing to them. 

But he would stay stagnant. 

He would be frozen in time, watching. 

His eyes grew heavy and he felt his consciousness wane....

_____________________________

“....Ajax...can you hear me?" 

Ajax blinked his eyes open. A woman's voice? 

Standing above him, was a young woman in her mid twenties. Her hair was brown and flowing past her waist, adorned in elegant hairpins and braids. Her face delicate, small arched eyebrows, monolid eyes that conveyed warmth, and a big grin on her face. 

He took in her full appearance. She was dressed in an elegant white qixiong ruqun with golden embroidery. 

Was there a festival? 

She smiled, "I heard you while I was on a walk...Are you alright?" 

Her fingers brushed a strand from his face. 

Ajax twitched, "...Ah...yeah, sorry..." He tried to stand up but, he felt his muscles scream at him. He had overdone himself. Not the first time, but it still hurt. He couldn't even lift a finger, "...Just fought some beasts.." 

The lady nodded, "I see...." she blinked and turned towards him, her eyes boring into him, "Actually, I was actually here to visit my dear old friend. I've heard he's ill..." 

Ajax made a garbled sound, a half-hearted attempt at a chuckle, "Then we are in the same boat." 

The lady's eyes widened, "Oh, really? What a coincidence...Then, could you give me some directions to his address....I am rather lost. It's been....a while since I've been here," her gaze trailed off, but she snapped back towards him. 

"...I know some of the people here, but...It would be best for you to go without me. I've done some stuff..." He winces. The encounter with the strange lady before him was a much needed distraction for how shitty he felt. Maybe he would make a new friend? Probably not. 

The lady seemed surprise, but immediately straightened up, "Well, my friend's name is Zhongli and I have been meaning to visit him. I've delayed it due to...circumstances, but I rushed as soon as I heard that he was ill. I am not sure if you would know him, but he is the Funeral Consultant at Wansheng Funeral Parlor...I've heard his condition is not the best.."  

He felt his eyes widen. 

She knew Zhongli? 

He sighed, blinking rapidly, "Yeah...." 

The woman smiled, before she turned to look at the surrounding space, "...Do you know that this place belongs to the grave of a god fallen during the Archon War?" 

"A god?" 

The woman nodded, "...She was a minor god, but she did what she could...." she walked towards an unmarked gravestone that seemed to be taken care of, "She was laid to rest here. Of course, now it's abandoned, but, someone comes here to clean it up. Brings glaze lilies sometimes too...Those are good days.." Her eyes softened as she traces the name engraved on the stone. 

Ajax felt his head pounding with a headache, and her words swirled in an out of his ears. 

"Unfortunately, I lied to you..." the woman pauses, "...I can not leave even if you give me directions...I am limited..." 

She holds her hand out to the sunspots coming from the trees. The sunlight shines through her arm, golden dust trailing behind her. 

"....Zhongli is dear to me...." 

His headache is still pounding, his heartbeat is in his ears. 

"But I can not save him, but you can..." 

He feels his vision blur, the exhaustion warping his reality. 

She floats over to him, her fingers reaching towards him, "..Save him, for me.” 

Her fingers touched his forehead lightly. A bright golden light surrounded him, blinding his vision. He couldn't see anything else. No matter where he looked, there was nothing but that light. 

When he came to, the light was gone, and in its place was a place he did not recognize; as well as a set of familiar golden molten eyes staring curiously at him. 

Where was he?  

Chapter Text

“Who are you? And why are you in my abode?” a booming voice called out, alongside a pair of eyes that almost seemed to pierce through the darkness around them. 

The voice sounded familiar, but Ajax was too groggy from sleep and the strange onslaught of tiredness that overcame him, to properly answer the voice or even discern who it belonged to. He grunted in reply, causing the person to continue to stare at him. 

Their eyes were cold and distant, a sharp contrast to the usual warmth he saw in eyes like those.

Eyes like Zhongli. 

"Mortal, do you hear me?" 

Baritone voice. 

Zhongli? 

His vision started to fade out as the darkness around him closed in, and once more, he could no longer see the pair of eyes staring back at him. 

_________________________________

When he woke up again, he was being carried on the back of a man in what appeared to be a dachang (?). 

Was this person one of the older folk who liked to still dress up as if it was the olden times? Or was he stuck in the middle of a festival, and managed to find someone who had still not changed? 

And more importantly, where was he? And why was this strange man carrying him? 

Was that really Zhongli? 

‘Zhongli’ must have heard him calling, “My name is not Zhongli.....I am Morax.” 

Morax? Where had he heard that name before? 

He thought about it for a while, before it finally clicked.

Morax was the name Zhongli was granted by Celestia, back when he was born into the world as a newly formed god, it was his prior name. His previous name before he knew Childe, the name that evoked fear and authority. The name that caused mountains to shake and oceans to hang their heads in utter submission before their god. But regardless of the strange name, Childe was still not certain as to why Zhongli was dressed up in a dachang….what exactly had happened? Was he dreaming? Or was he just hallucinating? 

Did the strange woman place a weird curse on him? Who was she anyways?? 

Maybe he had just taken one too many shots of firewater, and maybe had gotten himself drunk silly? His blackouts were infamous after all...

But.....he didn't remember drinking.....hm.

Morax shook him lightly and asked in a rough voice, “I said....Who are you, and why were you in my house? And, who is this Zhongli?” 

Childe paused, before he finally decided on a vague answer, “I got…lost. And...you just reminded me of him.." 

Morax huffed, likely not pleased by that answer and muttered something about, ‘promising to be gentle with mortals,’ before he continued to walk up a set of stone stairs? 

Where were they going? 

Childe cleared his throat lightly, the realization that he was being carried by Morax fulling dawning on him, embarrassment hit him in waves, “Umm…If I may ask, where are we going?” 

Morax glanced to look at him, and undoubtedly…it was the face of Zhongli. Although this ‘Zhongli’ had no fondness or warmth in his eyes, instead, in its place was a strange out-of-place cold and serious look on his face. He also looked younger, no blemishes and smile lines yet to have marked up his perfect face. And, if that wasn't enough to convince him, this 'Zhongli' also had a curious pair of horns made of what appeared to be cor lapis…..was that how Zhongli used to look like during that era?

Was that his true form? And if so, why did he hide his appearance? 

Morax’s hair was also let down, a very rare sight to see on Zhongli back in the present. The consultant wore his hair in a neat ponytail and never let it down, unless he had too. Always prim and proper to events, a hair strand never out of place in his perfect ponytail....But, this version of him had his hair down in a carefree manner-as if he didn't care what happened to his hair or not. As if making a good impression on others did not bother him in the slightest. 

Morax as a wilder, raw, more honest version of Zhongli....at least that's what he could tell. And while Zhongli was always honest....something about him still seemed as if he was hiding behind a thin veil; careful not to ruin or damage something precious. 

“You-” Morax stopped mid-sentence, and before Ajax could ask why, he was met with the sight of a worried looking woman. 

She looked vaguely familiar to the mysterious woman back then, however when she looked at him, there was no clear recognition in her eyes.

She did not know who he was. 

The strange woman's eyes were as beautiful as a starry sky, so much that they seemed like they held galaxies within the dark colors within her brown eyes. Her hair was long and brown and was held up in a fancy assortment of hairpins and ornaments. She held a small fond smile and looked skeptically at them, vague exasperation on her face, “Morax, what did I tell you about carrying injured mortals in such a way?”

“‘It is not the best method and can cause further harm.’ But, he is no mere mortal,” Morax replied, earning a curious look from the lady. 

She looked back at Ajax and stared for a few moments before her eyes widened ever so softly, “What good news! I'll inform the others!” She walked away hurriedly towards what he presumed to be where the ‘others’ were. 

Now, Ajax was really confused.

What was going on, and what was good news? 

__________________________

Not even a few seconds later, he had been carried to the nearest chair by Morax.....Who did his best to place him down gently but, if Ajax was a normal human without the resistance to pain, he would have most likely suffered from a broken bone or a sprain from the amount of force Morax exerted on him when placing him down. Ok, perhaps he was exaggerated a little bit; but it still hurt.

Soon enough, familiar faces started to stroll in one after another: the 2 bird adepti, a deer-like one, and a young woman with turquoise hair.

Some whom he had briefly met, and someone whom he he did not know nor recognize. 

They all surrounded Ajax at once, and looked at him up and down.

After an awkward while, he finally heard the blue adeptus yell out, “This is clearly a human pretending to be an adeptus!” 

The brown haired lady shook her head, “But Shigu, he clearly has a set of horns and his meridians are overflowing with adeptal energy! Besides, he was found where the rest of us were, down by the mountain!” 

Cloud Retainer huffed and pressed her wings to his head (?), before she carefully inspected him, coming close to check his eyes and horns before turning back to face Guizhong, “Tch...This one supposes you are correct..” 

What does she mean horns? 

What the hell happened to him? 

He felt the urge to touch his head to find out if there really had been horns there, but stopped when the woman smiled, “What’s your name child?” 

Well shit, he can’t say his name is Childe, or else that would be too weird. And using Tartaglia would be too lengthy and strange since he had grown to associate such a name with the Fatui, and it would probably be too difficult for them to say....Celestia knows how much Zhongli and Xiangling struggled to say that name since they heard it....and how much so many others in Liyue struggled with it as well. 

So, he decided to use his birth name instead-and as uncomfortable as that was-it was his only choice, “My name is Ajax.” 

The lady sounded out his name with her lips before she smiled, “Ajax, what a strong name! I suppose you are a foreigner, correct?” He nodded, her eyes widened exponentially and she looked amazed, “That’s so interesting, a foreign adeptus who was once a human! I have never seen such a strange occurrence in all of my life!" 

She reached out to touch one of his hair strands, “Your hair is as red as magma, and the texture is quite unique! And what are those brown speckles on your face? They are so....cute!”

Her hands retreated from his head, and he touched his hair self consciously before he decided to change the subject, “Ah. May I ask what your name is, Miss?” 

“Oh! I have almost forgotten! Mind my manners, my name is Guizhong, but you can call me shijie! ” 

Guizhong like...the god that died during the Archon War? 

If he wasn't dreaming, or hallucinating, then he really could be back in time...But how the heck is that even possible?? 

He gestures towards the other adepti, “Nice to meet you, but uhhh.....what are their names?” The bird huffs and eyes Ajax in a way he could only presume to be irritated, “How insolent! You should respect your elders....Hmph....One's name is Cloud Retainer….But, you may call this one Shigu.” 

The other bird looks at him and snappily replies, “Mountain Shaper.” 

Was that where Xiao had gotten his attitude from? 

Where was that bastard anyway?

The other deer-like adeptus isn’t any nicer and rolls his eyes at Ajax before saying, “Moon Carver.” 

The last turquoise haired lady is much nicer than the rest and smiles kindly towards him, “Nice to meet you Ajax, you may call me Madam Ping.” 

Wait! That was Madam Ping when she was younger! 

He did not have enough time to swallow this fact before he got interrupted once more, this time by Guizhong, “Ah, little one, how come you are bleeding so much? Do you have any injuries? Was Morax perhaps too hard on you?” She turned and glared at Morax. 

What injuries? 

He looked down at himself and nearly wanted to smack himself when he realized that he was covered in blood. The blood from the monsters and slimes he had wiped through during his rampage. 

He scratched his cheek, “Oh…um…the blood isn’t mine..” 

A long pause ringed out throughout the outdoor pavilion, and he could swear he heard the occasional flutter of hair clashing against clothes. He almost thought he said something bad before he heard a soft laugh coming from Guizhong who slapped the back of Morax in a manner too light to be threatening, “Shizun, it seems like we have one more trouble maker in the mix. From now on, you won’t be the only one anymore.” 

Morax huffed and pried her hand away from his back, “Don’t say such useless things.” 

Guizhong did not seem offended in the slightest and just continued to laugh, “Ah, shixiong I’m sure you’ll get along fine with your shidi!” 

“I’m your Shizun and you’re my disciple, it would be impossible for me to be your shixiong,” he said, his tone being too serious to not make fun of. 

Guizhong laughed and patted Morax's head, careful to avoid his horns, “Only teasing Shizun!” 

He huffed and swatted her hands away gently, looking strangely pleased? 

It was quite a sight to see, and yet it caused a strange feeling to arize in the pit of his stomach, fleeting jealousy.

Jealousy? 

He knew he shouldn’t feel such a way, but the way she was so carefree with Zhongli and even though he looked annoyed there was clear fondness in his eyes. They glittered whenever he looked in her direction......has he ever looked at Ajax that way before? He looked at Guizhong as if she had laid the world to his feet.....And even when he was starting to grow closer to Zhongli, he had never gotten as close as those two, which oddly made him feel out of place. Almost as if he was watching something that was not supposed to be seen. 

Something private and intimate. 

Guizhong finally stopped her antics and turned her attention back to Ajax, “So! Now that you are an adeptus, there are basic ground rules we should discuss.” 

Ajax nodded and waited for whatever rules were about to go on. He was not sure if his dream or whatever this was would ever end but he hoped it would, or at least he hoped to find out what he had to do. 

She cleared her throat before continuing, but was interrupted by Cloud Retainer, “Rule 1: You must never under any circumstances take our Lord’s Gnosis. If you do attempt to do such a foolish thing you will be executed immediately.” 

Ajax paused and almost wanted to laugh at the irony of the whole situation. What he could gather from his short time in the new world (ancient world?) was that he absolutely without a doubt needed to take away Rex Lapis’ gnosis. But, with such a rule being implemented, he was not sure how he would retrieve it from him. However, he was not sure how to take away from someone so powerful even without that rule being stated, so he guessed it did not matter.

Cloud Retainer eyed him suspiciously before she continued on, “Rule 2: You cannot injure or kill mortals....no matter what,” Cloud Retainer sounded disgusted when she said ‘mortals’ but Ajax guessed he would as well, if mortals had done such disgraces to his entire kind and the world he was in charge of taking care of. 

“Rule 3: You may not form a romantic connection with any of the other adepti or any mortals. You are here to complete your duty, and the responsibilities that come with it. You are not here to fool around.” 

Ajax almost cringed when he heard that sentence.

Was that why so many adepti were so solitary and did not have descendants? 

Then, did Zhongli go against the rule he formed himself in order to be able to love him…that was new information he did not know. Or perhaps they had ended those ridiculous rules ages ago? 

But if he had those rules, then why did he still kiss him? 

He closed his eyes, and remembered the fleeting warm feeling across his lips, the gentle touch of a lover. The smell of sand and ocean water filled his lungs, as he melted into the sweet memory. 

________________________________

Zhongli had brought him to the beach to collect starconches!  

According to Zhongli, he has 'never heard the sounds of waves crashing when you placed a starconch to your ear', and it was simply outrageous! After all, the man had lived near the ocean for all of his life (according to him at least), but he never had the curiosity to press a starconch against his ear?!

It was ridiculous! 

So, in order to remedy that, Ajax insisted on bringing him to hear them. Zhongli had at first politely declined (if not a little urgently) but Ajax kept asking and asking....and soon enough he begrudgingly agreed to it. 

Ajax immediately swooned when he saw the bright, blue-colored waves and the gorgeous, clear white sand-not to mention the almost painting-esque sunset.

It was a gorgeous sight, so gorgeous that he ran immediately into the inviting water below. 

Ever since he was small, he had loved oceans, lakes, and small creeks. Back in his small town of Morepesok, all he had to entertain himself with as a kid was either to go into the woods or to have fun fishing or swimming by the lake. Every summer, when the ice and snow was not nearly as cold......(which really meant that you could swim in the lake without catching hypothermia or frostbite almost immediately. Actually, he had learned not to swim in the fall or winter, when he had almost died of hypothermia. 

And so, every summer, he took the golden opportunity to swim in the clear waters, every chance he got. Every time after school, every time before dinner, before bed, before breakfast, any spare time he got, he spent in the lake. 

In hindsight, a hydro vision is the most suitable element he could have gotten. He loved the water, and that feeling only got enhanced when he got the vision. It was almost as if he became one with the element, so much so that he felt like he could fly through the water’s waves. 

It was a pleasant feeling. 

And so, he immediately tore off his shirt and dived into the water below. He swam through the water for a few minutes before he came up to the surface, only to see a very fond-looking Zhongli staring down at him, “Care to join me Xiansheng?” 

Zhongli looked slightly alarmed, but quickly calmed down and replied, “I am fine, thank you Ajax.” 

Ajax laughed and splashed around the water, making small ripples in the clear waves with his motions, “Aww, c'mon Xiansheng! The water's just fine, it's really not too cold, I promise!” 

Zhongli shook his head, and took a seat on a rock far away from the water's edge, “I think I will pass on this one, Ajax.” 

He laughed and finally decided to spare Zhongli from his apparent fear of water (or was it the ocean that scared him?) and got out of the water. 

And he will admit; although he loves the water, he hates the way his entire body and clothes feel 10x heavier when he gets out. So, he slightly stumbled back a bit before he was finally out of the water-not missing the way Zhongli’s eyes raked up and down his torso. 

One of the other things he had trained in the fatui as a harbinger was noticing the signs of attraction and repulsion. Most of the time he had to utilize his charms and use his beauty to get what he was after. Which often than not meant having to make out or even get into bed with other people in order to complete the missions (although the latter missions were rare, he had only done 1 so far).

Being the Tsaritsa’s Vanguard meant that, although he had to appear threatening, he also had to appear completely irresistible. If he wanted the plan to succeed after all, nobody expected a pretty man to be the culprit behind such evil actions. And most of the time, he escaped, scot-free. 

So, he could tell what that look in Zhongli’s eyes meant-he wanted Ajax. 

Normally, he would have ripped out the organs of those who had looked at him in such a way (unless it was necessary for a mission). 

But, since this was not a mission he decided to allow Zhongli to feast on his beauty. And besides, it was not like he wasn’t attracted to Zhongli either.

The man was eye-candy, after all. 

And, well, it was no secret that the both of them knew of each other's attraction for the other. If the many nights spent together in bed, days spent down by the beach, them sharing a meal at Wanmin Restaurant, the loving touches that were given by the other, or the many sweet words exchanged weren't enough of a sign to indicate the obvious attraction.  

He walked up to Zhongli, trying to subtly lower the hem of his pants to accentuate his v-line, it seemed to work since Zhongli’s eyes immediately averted their gaze and his cheeks flushed a delicious shade of cherry pink.

Ajax parted his lips and said in the most flirtatious voice he could muster up, “Xiansheng, what’s wrong? Are you sick?” 

Zhongli’s cheeks paled and he looked almost ashamed, “Ah…no.....it is nothing. I am quite alright, don’t worry.” 

Ajax smiled and tried to not laugh at the flustered man before him. He sat down next to the stone before facing towards Zhongli once more, “Xiansheng, here I collected some starconches, would you like to hear one?”

He took out a small starconch from his pocket and pressed it against Zhongli’s ear. Zhongli’s eyes fluttered shut and Ajax could see the way he seemed to noticeably relax when he listened to the sound of crashing waves inside the shells. 

Ajax's heart beat in his chest as he looked at the soft slope of Zhongli’s nose, his plump lips that noticeably had a small scar towards the end, the way his red eyeliner was slightly smudged, his strong broad shoulders, his nice high-cheekbones, the mole on his cheek, the way his bangs seemed to perfectly frame his face…he was.......so fucking handsome.

Zhongli’s eyes opened and they widened subtly when he noticed Ajax staring at him, “Ajax...” 

Ajax did not notice how close he was to him until he felt his breathing on his lips. Zhongli’s eyes fluttered closed, and he started to lean in closer towards Ajax, his hand coming to rest on his jaw, absentmindedly stroking it. Ajax leaned into the pleasant warmth, causing Zhongli to lean in closer. 

They were centimeters apart, and then….he felt a pair of lips against his own.

It was soft and warm, perfect. 

The kiss was chaste but it was all Ajax needed for his heart to soar. It felt like forever, but after a few more subtle kisses, and a pair of warm hands beginning to draw small circles on his back, they finally separated. 

It was the best kiss Ajax had ever received. 

It was so delicate, loving, and tender all the same. 

It was perfect, and he wished he could kiss Zhongli forever.....

Little did he know......that it was the last one they would share. 

It was the day before the Golden House disaster, but being a fool, Ajax felt his heart jump through the clouds when Zhongli smiled as warm as a summer’s sun, “Ajax…I am in love you.” 

It was the first day he had heard Zhongli say those words out loud, after spending many a nights together. But little did he know now that he would come to yearn for the warmth of Zhongli’s hands and his comforting words, even now. 

“I am as well.”

__________________________

He figured that those rules did not apply to archons and shrugged off his stupid memories, ‘Focus, Ajax.’

Ajax waved his hand dismissively, “Alright, got it. So, what do I have to do in order to seal this oath?”

Cloud Retainer looked irritated, not so subtly tapping her legs in irritation, “This one is not the one you should be asking.”

“Aiyoh, Cloud Retainer, stop eyeing Ajax like an enemy! We are all adepti here, no need to fight amongst us,” Guizhong had clung onto Cloud Retainer's arm, and she definitely looked angry now, pecking at Guizhong’s arm. However, despite her irritation she did not say anything and just huffed and looked away. 

Guizhong laughed before she turned to look at Ajax, “You seal an oath by making a contract with our dearest Yanwang Dijun.” 

So, he had to make a contract with Rex Lapis….was she crazy?

That was one of the things he knew he should stay away from. From all accounts in prior historic texts, sealing a contract with Rex Lapis meant that you had to abide by the restrictions if you did not want to ‘suffer the wrath of the rock,’ or so the text had said. And, even if Ajax looked to fight, he still did not want to find out how Morax would react to his break in his contract. 

He shook his conflicting thoughts to the side (he would deal with them later), for now, he would have to accept, otherwise he would look suspicious. 

“...How do I do that exactly?” 

Guizhong smiles and drags Morax by the hand (who was currently in the middle of falling asleep on a nearby log). He snaps up into alert but once his eyes land on Guizhong he visibly relaxes and allows himself to be pulled along, “You just have to shake his hand!” 

She pulls Morax’s hand and Morax sleepily looks at Ajax. He comes to and quickly straightens out and stares deeply with glowing eyes as if he was looking right at his soul, “Do you accept the contract’s terms?” 

Ajax nods and stretches out his hand, “I accept your terms..” 

Morax’s eyes stopped glowing and he nodded, “Then, it is set in stone.” 

He envelopes the surprisingly cold hand and shakes it lightly, feeling a warm stream of energy flowing through his veins (was that a part of the contract?).....It continues for a few seconds before he looks down to notice a geo sigil engraved on his skin. It was only there for a moment before it faded in a wisp of golden light, not able to be seen again with eyes, but felt nevertheless. Morax eyes him and his eyes begin to glow once more; however, this time he even bared his teeth, showing off his sharp fangs, “Let our contract be honored, Ajax. If you go back on your word, you shall suffer the wrath of the rock.”

Ajax nodded, feeling the mood turn too sour and serious. Apparently, he wasn't the only one that felt that way because shortly afterwards, Guizhong had come over to Morax and thrown her hand around his shoulder, “Celestia above Morax, don’t scare the poor man! You’ll scare him to death if you do that!” she looked towards Ajax and winked, “Don’t worry Ajax, you’ll be fine!” 

Morax shook his head and brought a hand to rub at his temples, “Guizhong. Do not cause trouble.” 

She laughs and unhooks her hand from his shoulder, before she raised them defensively, “I won’t, I swear Shizun!"

Morax sighed before going back towards that log he had previously been resting on (or attempting to at least). Which only earned another laugh from Guizhong, exasperated sighs from all of the other adepti except for Madam Ping who looked slightly amused by the entire display. 

____________________________

“Alright shidi, your shijie will show you to your living quarters!” 

Ajax nodded and Guizhong gestured to follow her. They didn’t have to walk for long as they reached a small abode near Mount Hulao. It was nothing fancy, just a small house made of wood, but it looked durable enough to last a couple of years, and it had a charming look to it. Surrounding the small cottage were sand-bearer trees and glaze lilies, “Your shijie personally went out of her way to decorate your house! I hope you’ll like it!” 

Ajax nodded, “Yes, I do....thank you…Shijie.” 

Guizhong brightened up immediately, “Aww di-di! You finally called me your shijie!" 

Ajax flushed and looked away. Something about Guizhong that he noticed, was that she was the most incredibly aware-unaware person he had ever met. She did not seem to realize the embarrassment he felt, judging from the weird proud look on her face. 

Her facial expression almost reminded Ajax of the look his father used to give him whenever they would ever go out ice-fishing and he would catch a big fish all on his own. His father would pat him on the back and praise him for his achievements.

And, the twinkle in his eyes, it was proud. 

He looked so proud of Ajax. 

A face he has not seen on his father, not since he was 14 years old. 

Whenever his father would look at him now, it would no longer be a look of a proud father with his son, but more of bone-chilling fear.

He missed that look dearly. 

He missed the way things were, the way things used to be; back when he did not have to worry about miniscule things like love, and could just enjoy his life as a carefree child. That was the irony of his name; Childe. He was nothing like a child, he was a monster in disguise of a charming young man. 

He was not a child by any measures; a child does not slit the throats of other people without batting an eye.

He was a monster.

An abyssal beast. 

“What’s wrong shidi, you look pale? Are you sick?” she pressed a warm hand on his forehead, attempting to detect any excessive warmth. 

He turned to look at Guizhong; she looked worried, the gentle curve of her lips curved down in a slight frown, her eyebrows were furrowed, and her eyes were full with endless sympathy. Ajax felt his chest twinge, he had felt resentful of her existence earlier.....but in reality, she didn't deserve his anger. 

She wasn't at fault, she was so kind and empathetic.

He was even sure that she was the type of person forgive those who had wronged her easily. And most likely even comfort them through it; that was the kind of god she was. A gentle and understanding god, with never-ending faith in her followers, non-followers, fellow adepti, and in even the dust that seemed to follow her: shining brightly like pure gold.

However, she was not only a kind god; amongst her list of abilities, she was also incredibly intelligent according to the Liyuen history books Ajax had read before coming to Liyue.

Guizhong had built many inventions, that were technologically advanced at the time with the help of humans and had even constructed the Guizhong Ballista, a machine that fired autonomously; a great feat for the time.

Her advances in technology even rivaled Khaenri'ah and modern-day Sumeru. 

In fact, it was spectated that if she had been given more time, and had lived to see the world grow, she would have been able to come up with 'advancements in technology that would be unparalleled to the meek prototypes in Teyvat' as told by countless gawking historians, as they wrote about her intelligence. 

All in all, she was a truly impressive genius of their time, and of the modern times. 

Ajax was starting to understand why her memory was adored throughout Liyue.

The Goddess of Dust, Guizhong was someone who was frequently mentioned alongside the other adepti, throughout the early history of Liyue. 

According to the many historical texts he had seen lying around libraries in Liyue, books worn and covered in a heavy layer of dust.

It read: 

'Guizhong had sacrificed her life for her people, and in her sacrifice, we stand. In the last cries of the early morning of the seventh month, Osial had succumbed to the poison that spread throughout Teyvat. He had gone mad, loosing any semblance of his sanity. And, although the adepti worked tirelessly to bind him, and seal him beneath the seas, they were unsuccessful.

And with Osial sweeping through the villages, taking down and drowning entire villages, Guizhong had made up her mind. 

In the midst of a battle, she had stepped out of the protective barrier that Rex Lapis had set up, and with one last act of kind will towards her beloved people, she fearlessly walked towards Osial. With fire in her eyes, and determination in each step she took, although gravely injured, she strode towards Osial, who loomed over her small frame. 

There, it was that she placed a hand to the air, and began to loom together, with fine strands of golden thread, a contract. 

She spoke with a mighty voice, all who were present heard her voice, and resonated with each thrum of her will, 'Let my people go! If lives are what you are after, then take mine!" Her eyes glowed sharply, as she looked onto the impending doom before her, tears caught on her eyes like water on flower petals, "Let my people go, and in exchange, you shall have me." 

Osial stirred, before a violent roar ripped out of his mouth, and with a single foul step, he swept Guizhong and carried her to the depths of the ocean. And there it was that Guizhong, the Goddess of Dust, laid to rest. 

It was on this day that the Geo Archon, Rex Lapis, shook Teyvat with his grief. 

He had lost, far more than he could bear.' 

Ajax felt his heart ache when he read this passage. She had traded her life for the safety of mortals, and had left Teyvat for good. All because she loved humanity, so much. 

Without her sacrifice, humanity would have not continued to exist. 

Osial would have brought destruction, not only to Liyue but to all of Teyvat, it would have been catastrophic. 

However, some say her sacrifice was in vain because all humanity, ever accomplish as only furtherer destruction. Humanity hated one another, and did unspeakable crimes in the name of what they perceived to be good, so was it all pointless? 

Did she really make the right choice? 

This was the sentiment that was uttered with many philosophers and skeptics alike. Many saw Guizhong’s sacrifice to be foolish.

Why couldn’t she just allow humanity to burn? It would have benefited her to do so.

Endless suffering was caused by greedy and selfish human beings, so wouldn't it have been better to wipe them all out? 

But, she did not, she still had hope for humanity. 

She saw the light and love in their eyes, and chose to believe that the goodness in their hearts would prevail regardless of the darkness that laid beneath it. 

But, there was a god that disagreed: Rex Lapis. 

She had tried to coerce her to let humanity collapse in itself, to stop devoting herself to mortals, if all they were going to do is kill and commit atrocities towards one another.

But, she simply laughed and waved him off as if he was telling a humorous joke, “You still haven’t understood humanity, dear Morax. While that is true, you must see see beyond, and search for the beauty within….After all, there is beauty in all of us, all you need to do is look close enough. If you do that, you'll see it. ” This was her reply to Morax, who stood perplexed, deeply wondering what her words meant as he gazed into his cup of still tea. 

Ajax wondered if Zhongli had finally understood what she had meant. Was that why he allowed Ajax to hurt him so, because he saw the beauty within him? Did he allow his people to nearly rip at each other's throats because he saw the beauty within it? Did he allow himself to grow as close as he did to Ajax because he understood the beauty within pain itself? 

He shook off his thoughts and reassessed his current situation. He was stuck in the past, and he had apparently turned into an adepti. And besides that, he had also been tasked to retrieve Rex Lapis’ gnosis from past Guizhong herself. But, on top of that he had to stay within the contract if he did not want to end up dead for committing treason. 

Her voice, startled him out of his thoughts, "Are you sure you are alright?" 

“Ah, I’m fine. I’m just tired is all.....But, if you don’t mind me asking, where is the…um…bathing room?” 

Guizhong took her hand off of his forehead and smiled, “Oh, yeah that is right! I almost forgot you were covered in blood...Well, the bathing area is near the side of your house. Although, I should mention that it is public.” 

….public…

He had to bathe in public…naked…with other strangers around him…and possibly Morax.

He nearly started to burst into tears when he learned that new information.

While it wasn’t at all uncommon for Fatui soldiers to bathe in public (often then not they had to be on missions that were time essential, so in order to not waste water, they had to bathe publicly). So, Childe had grown used to seeing others naked and had no problem showering in front of others. However, it had been a while since he had been in the Fatui army, and…he had not conquered the embarrassment that followed with bathing with others, yet.

When he was still a young teenager, he didn’t have time for embarrassment and mostly just focused on climbing the ranks and becoming a harbinger by the time he was 19.

So now, at 24 years old, he was now used to a certain level of luxury that came with being a harbinger. Now, he had underlings who could acquire him time alone to bathe, and would everything for him, at his beck-and-call. And ever since he had gotten comfortable with such a simple lifestyle; his tolerance for embarrassment had.....dwindled down. An unfortunate side-effect he had not foreseen. 

So, with that being said, he was a little more than hesitant to bathe around others. However, he swallowed his pride, and tried not to inwardly cringe at the information, “Thank you, shijie. I appreciate your help.” 

Guizhong nodded, “You're welcome, shidi! I hope you’ll find your stay here comfortable! And although I do have questions for you, I’ll refrain from doing so until dinner. I'll see you then!” 

He smiled and waved her off as he walked back up the mountain staircase with an elegance he was certain he would never be able to achieve in his lifetime. He sighed and hurried over towards the large steaming pool out in the open. He had heard of things like this before, they were called hot springs.

He hesitantly took off his clothes before he went into the water; it was sublime. 

The temperature of the water was a comforting warmth, and it relaxed Ajax to its fullest potential. It was just what he needed, a simple relaxing time for himself. He needed a breather after all of that information was shoved down his throat; not leaving any room for him to get a word in. He sighed and relaxed his body into the clear warm water below…before he felt something against his leg. 

He was not initially alarmed, chalking it up to be an underwater plant of some kind, or even moss…however, those thoughts were immediately thrown out of a window when he saw a tail rising up from the waters…The scales were brown with golden accents, Ajax immediately jumped and was ready to jump out of the waters and retrieve his vision…when he noticed a head pop out from the waters. 

It was Morax; his dark hair was soaked and he was looking at Ajax curiously…?

He did not know what to say. After all, he had to grow close enough for Morax to trust him enough to hand over his gnosis willingly, that, or he needed to grow stronger in order to win in a duel with the Geo Archon himself. 

But, since it was highly unlikely he would be able to beat a God in a duel.....he decided for the latter. 

But now that he thought about it, the whole situation was even stranger because even though Morax resembled Zhongli, he was nothing like him...Despite the similarities, he was an entirely different person. So, despite the emotions he felt towards Zhongli, it didn't seem to translate over to Morax. He had taken the paper he was handed by Guizhong, and had ran with it. 

It's what he was best known for. But, despite that, he felt unsure as to how to react to all of this. Part of his mind was coping by playing along with this and pretending as if it wasn't real. But somehow, he knew it was real. It felt too real, and the water was too warm beneath him. 

He had to shove his feelings down and focus. 

When he got the gnosis, he would go back to his time, give Zhongli the gnosis...and then, he would figure out what to do next. For now, he had to shove whatever mixed feelings he had for Zhongli down the drain. 

This was Morax. 

He was practically a different being altogether. 

So, he would treat him like a different person. 

He awkwardly scratched his neck, before he choked out, "It's umm....nice weather, isn’t it?” 

He wanted to slap himself as soon as he said it. Out of all of the things he could have mustered up, he decided to comment on the weather?  

Morax blinked once, twice before nodding and fully pulling his head out of the water (Ajax tried not to stare at the gorgeous outline of his clavicle), “Yes, it does seem to be quite pleasant today.” 

Ok, that was a start, he could work with that! 

“Yeah…” Ajax did not know how to continue the conversation and continued to bathe in the waters. He tried his best to avoid Morax’s presence and scrubbed at his blood-stained cheeks and hair (careful to avoid his newly-formed horns). When he had killed all of those monsters, he had managed to get blood soaked into his hair, which was only a further inconvenience to him. 

He roughly pulled at his hair; using the soap he had received from Guizhong moments before. But, apparently, he had been too rough, because then, a hand reached out and stopped him. 

Ajax paused and looked up to see Morax staring deeply into his eyes, “You are hurting yourself.” 

Ajax was about to shake his head in denial and yank Morax’s grip from his hands, when he felt a slight sting on his scalp. He touched it and brought it up in front of his eyes; along with the glaze lily soap there was blood. He had scratched his scalp too harshly and had ripped the skin on his scalp to rip open, "..Shit.." 

He almost sighed, but Morax then reached out and touched his hair, causing the sigh to become logged in his throat, “....Is that why your hair is red?” 

Ajax raised an eyebrow, “What do you mean?” 

Morax paused and seemed to be deciding his next words. When he finally came to a resolution he continued on, “Did you rub your head so harshly when bathing, that overtime, your hair has permenantly stained red?” 

Ah, so that was what he meant.

Ajax almost wanted to laugh at his adorable naïveté. For a god he was still so terribly new to the world around him. He guessed that this is the case, Morax at this point had only lived a few hundred years, so he was still relatively new to the world. He had only recently found what gentleness had been just a few years before Ajax had come. So, it was only logical that he wouldn't know about these things. 

From what he had gathered, it was a few hundred years before the Archon War, so in other terms, he had a long, long, long time in order to gain Morax’s trust and find out what his weaknesses are, as well as gain more battle experience. 

So, he had to utilize his time wisely.

“Ah, no, I was born with my hair like this. It’s way more common back in my country, than here I presume?”

Morax nodded and touched a strand of Ajax’s hair carelessly, staring at it fascinatingly, “Yes, you presume correctly. Such an interesting vibrant hair color is not at all common for humans. Do the rest of your family unit have this hair color as well?” 

“No, only my younger brother, my father, and I have red hair. It's a recessive gene..The rest of my family has brown or blonde hair.” 

Morax nodded and pointed at the freckles that covered his shoulders, “Then, what are those spots? Are they some sort of disease, or scar?” 

‘He certainly is full of questions,’ Ajax thought. 

“Those are called freckles and they are not a disease, nor a scar.....Think of them sort of like moles. Beauty marks.” 

Morax nodded and stepped back from Ajax, “I see. Well then, I....will....allow you to continue your bath.....Please excuse my interruption.” 

He walked away to the other side of the hot spring and continued his own bathing, calmly washing his own hair out and scrubbing at his body with a small cloth. Ajax looked away sheepishly and continued his own bath, trying to erase the memory of Morax being as close as he was to him, while they were both entirely naked. 

____________________________

Thankfully, Morax had spared Ajax and exited the bath shortly afterwards. He tried to push out the way his muscles contracted and the way his hair seemed to pass all of the way towards his lower back and how beautiful he looked. 

Ajax got out shortly afterwards, getting into a bathrobe (one that Guizhong had handed him earlier) before making his way towards his house. 

When he got it he noticed it was bigger on the inside than it looked on the outside. It was intricately furnished with several elegant decorations. The walls were wood, and were polished to the point where he could swear he could see his own reflection in them. The furniture was perfectly placed and polished, which gave off the vibe that it was had not been lived in for a long time, but was still gingerly cared for. Everything was too clean, too preserved, that he almost thought someone lived in the spacious home when he first arrived. 

However, upon closer inspection, amongst the tidiness and cleanliness of the house; it had absolutely no personal items. And, it was almost eerie in that way. It was entirely desolate and far too quiet for his own liking. 

Every step he took on the wooden floors resonated within the very walls of the house.....it was too lonely. 

He almost hated it in a way.

Now, he was not in constant company back in his apartment in Liyue harbor, however he could still make out the hustle and bustle coming from the streets of Liyue. And since the city was always teeming with riveting conversation and lively debate, the noise still managed to make its way into his closed apartment. However, he had somewhat come to enjoy the muted murmurs and laughter coming from his locked door, it was almost slightly comforting in a way. 

Back home, in Snezhnaya everyone was too quiet. To the point where people’s every breath could be heard from nearly 6 rooms down back in the Zapolyarny palace. Even in his small town of Morepesok, everything was always so quiet; part of the reason he did not want to stick in the small town, any longer than he needed to. Everyone in the town was highly judgmental and did not shy away from telling you what they really thought about you. It was a brutal environment, and the fact that the corrupt officials and higher ups did nothing to stop the endless violence and brutality, only made it worse. 

In fact, Childe clearly remembers that a Fatui soldier once got paid off and turned a blind eye to a child getting half way beaten to death on the cold streets by a classmate of his. If it wasn’t for his recent experience in the Abyss, he would have never been able to ward off the attacker on the innocent kid. However, even the kid who was getting attacked just shoved Childe off for helping him or in his words, ‘making him seem like a pathetic weakling.’

So much for thanks, he guessed. 

That was just the kind of environment he was subjected to both in Snezhnaya and in the Abyss.

Environments that were cruel, horrific, and unforgiving; one wrong move and you’ll wind up as another missing poster on your town’s noticeboard.

It was nothing new in fact, Ajax’s parents had already moved on when they saw their son missing for 3 weeks. They had just presumed he had been eaten by wolves, and held a small funeral outside of their house. It was normal to do so, in fact, he remembers his aunt had lost one of her daughters and she didn’t think twice before already starting to build her coffin, in grim anticipation of when her corpse would eventually float down the river, decomposing and partially eaten by the various insects and animals. 

So, they were nothing short but flabbergasted when their ‘dead’ son showed up with blood covered all over him, with a dazed look on his face. Of course they were relieved, what parent wouldn’t be? However, their relief was quickly dried up when they realized what he had become.

Soon enough their perception of him shattered completely, and in their eyes, he was no longer human, and instead a sadistic....creature. 

__________________________

It was about 2 days since he had come back, and he had grown significantly and even had more muscles than his 2 older brothers.

It was quite the shocking development.

And even if it was all strange, nobody seemed to believe him when he said it had been 3 months for him. Despite all the evidence, that pointed out that he had been training his body for far longer than 2 days. He was no longer the carefree and slightly gullible, ambitious son they had; one that made his mother exasperated and his father proud. 

He was a shell of his former self, he no longer cared about anything else; he mercilessly killed whatever he could lay his hands on. 

It was about the time when his family hurriedly searched for him in the forest. They found him covered in blood, glinting blade in hand. His parents had freaked out, and checked him all over for injuries. However, their concern had come to a complete halt once they realized the bloody display in front of their eyes; a little ways into the forest, there lay the bodies of about 20 wolves or so, all dismembered and horrifyingly discarded about the forest.

His mother gasped and nearly vomited, while his father’s eyes widened with horror and he paled significantly. 

They slowly turned towards Tartaglia, who had a nonchalant expression, “They were bothering me...It's no big deal..” 

His father raged, fear that desperately turned into anger, “What the fuck do you mean that it’s no a big deal!"

Tartaglia almost wanted to laugh when he heard his father whisper that name.

No, he was no longer Ajax. 

Ajax had long since been killed in the abyss, by those monsters. 

He was no longer alive. 

Ajax was now just a name, his birth name.

But, it wasn’t who he was anymore. 

He had vanished. 

However, he didn’t say anything and instead replied with the same nonchalance as before, “I said, it's no big deal Fa-” 

His father had effectively shut his mouth by slapping him across the face, and the force of it did not even push him back all that much, much to the horror of his father. He touched his stinging cheek, and for a moment everything seemed to click. He wanted a challenge, he wanted to have the same adrenaline rush, he felt when in battle. The same he got when he had to fight the monsters of the abyss. 

He put his best mask up and lowered his face, “I am....sorry father, I won’t do it again.” 

His father did not seem to buy his act whatsoever, since he only continued to glare at Tartaglia. However, even his own father wanted to desperately cling onto the false hope that Ajax was still the same. That he hadn’t been permanently scarred and changed due to the abyss. 

And it was his false hope that nearly landed several people onto their deathbeds. 

_________________________

In the pursuit of a new challenge, he provoked many fights in his school. At first, it was kids the same age as him, who got insulted at the slightest word about their appearance. Of course, with all of his battle experience he easily won. The next one, it was with an older kid, nearly an adult. He also easily won that fight as well. Even though he didn’t have height, he had speed and agility which he used to effortlessly win. 

And so, it carried on for a while. He looked for a tougher and better opponent until their small town could not take it anymore and his father had come to a decision. He pulled Ajax aside one day and asked a simple question, his eyes boring holes into him, in desperate search for his precious son, “Ajax! Either you pick up your act or you will join the Fatui! Which will it be, Ajax?” 

“The Fatui,” he replied, almost immediately causing the hope to burn out within his father’s tired eyes, like water to fire. 

The fatui wasn’t all that bad, in fact he sort of enjoyed the challenge to climb the ranks and go from soldier to harbinger in less than a few years. It gave him the challenge he craved and he got to soothe his insatiable bloodlust even if just for a while. It was a good change for him, and in all honesty, it was the only thing that prevented him from becoming a complete and utter abyssal monster. 

It kept him humane and under Pulcinella, it helped him stay sane.  

And, after a few years, he could finally keep a lid on the other side of himself; the bloodlusting and monstrous side of himself.

And over time, his family had started to tolerate him back into their group slowly. Deceiving themselves further by saying that everything that he had done was just a ‘silly stage’ in his boyhood, and not something else, something deeper that gnawed at him at every turn. He could finally return back to his role as that ‘ambitious and carefree’ child and occasionally, he would lose himself too much in the part. So much, that he had had even started to believe it…...if only a little bit. 

He would only let go completely on missions or spars. He could indulge the part of his mind that he desperately wanted to erase, and let go. 

__________________________

He settled down pretty easily into the house and had even gotten the much needed rest he desired. He hadn’t bothered to change out of the bathrobe yet, and instead just fell asleep that way. So, when he woke up, he had to face yet another challenge. 

He had to figure out how to wear the blue shuhe on his nightstand. It was most likely a gift from Guizhong, judging from the nice note attached to it which read: “For my dearest shidi. ” 

Guizhong had surprisingly easily accepted him into their society, which gave him whiplash.

Everyone else seemed wildly skeptical and even aggravated that a stranger was joining, and seemed to give off a very unwelcoming attitude towards him. However, she was eager and enthusiastic to include him in their society, and had even vouched for him when they were discussing what to do with him (he had overheard them earlier). So with that note, he was starting to further realize why she was so beloved by all living creatures. 

She just loved, no matter what. 

And although that was a very admirable trait, it was also a very foolish one to have. 

He grabbed the several layers of the shuhe in his hands and attempted to piece together how it went. He had not worn shuhe or other types of ancient traditional Liyuen hanfu personally during his stay in Liyue, but he had seen how other people had worn it before during Lantern Rite. 

The innermost layer was usually a simple white undershirt with subtle designs; that was easy to put on. However, the problem was figuring out which outer layer to put on first, and which one to put on second and in what direction. Although he had seen people wear them before, he had never stopped to consider how they put them on in the first place. 

So, with the undergarments on, he was stuck on how to put the rest of the outfit on. And so, he did what any other person would have done in his position; he threw them on randomly and hoped it would be the right way to wear them. 

______________________________

He made his way up the various gray stone stairs and made his way towards the presumed location.

In the middle of Hulao mountain there was a small stone table, which he had laid his eyes upon on his way down the mountain with Guizhong moments prior. 

And surely enough, on the table was the rest of the adepti, looking terribly impatient.

He shuffled towards them as silently as possible but they all turned to look at him. Cloud Retainer looked as irritated as usual if not more, looking as if she wanted to poke his eyes out with her beak. Madam Ping just looked slightly amused and waved enthusiastically at Ajax. Moon Carver and Mountain Shaper preferred to pay him no mind. Guizhong’s smile grew bigger as she spotted Ajax and she even shook Morax up, who was busy sleeping on the table. He opened his eyes and yawned; Ajax won’t admit this but it was one of the cutest things he had ever seen.

But amidst them, there sat another adeptus he had never seen before; he was a blue adeptus and he had gold horns. He looked at Ajax with gentler curiosity, as opposed to his other colleagues, who, frankly, looked annoyed at his presence. 

He made his way towards the table, and Guizhong gently opened up a chair for him, “Shidi! You’re finally here! I was starting to get worried about you!” 

Cloud Retainer huffed and crossed her arms? (wings?), “All of us have been waiting for you, insolent child! You are far too late, all of the food has surely gone cold by now.” 

“You can not blame him, Shigu, he must have been tired. After all, we all remember when we became adepti ourselves. It was quite an exhausting and lengthy process, was it not?” Guizhong asked. 

Cloud Retainer huffed again, but begrudgingly nodded, “This one…guesses that you are correct…again.” 

Guizhong laughed and patted at the empty chair beside her, “Well then, hurry up shidi!...What Shigu said was true, your food is getting colder by the second!” 

He nodded and sat down besides her. He attempted to pick up the chopsticks, before he shakily brought a piece of steamed vegetables to his lips. But before he could eat it, he was bombarded with a load of questions asked by Guizhong herself, “So then, shidi! Where are you from? Shizun has told me that your hair color is a common sight in your village, and how those brown speckles on your face are called freckles. Are they also a common thing in your village? How did you manage to become an adepti? How come you speak our tongue so well? How-”

Madame Ping intercepted and brought a hand to Guizhong’s mouth, "Shijie, please give him some room to breathe. Like you’ve said before, he must be tired and hungry. So please, allow him some time to eat before you ask all of your questions, dearest.” 

Guizhong nodded and gently lowered Madame Ping’s hand from her mouth, “I’m terribly sorry di-di, it seems like my curiosity and excitement for your arrival has far exceeded my restraint. I’ll give you some time to rest now.” 

Ajax shook his head, attempting once more to pick up some steamed vegetables with his chopsticks (and somewhat failing), “It’s alright, shijie. I understand that you must be excited to see a new adeptus, especially since you know little about me. However, to answer your questions, I do come from somewhere far. And yes, freckles are a pretty common thing in my village. I don’t remember when I became an adepti exactly, I just woke up and I was in the mountains. Also, I can speak it well because there are a lot of people from here in my homeland.."

She nodded and greedily soaked up the information before, “That’s very interesting, thank you di-di,” before she turned around towards the rest of the adepti, “Sky Bracer, this is Ajax! He’s a new adeptus!” 

Sky Bracer laughed before nodding; he seemed very fond of Guizhong (but, then again, it seemed like everyone was), “Yes, I’ve heard. Nice to meet you, Ajax. I’m Sky Bracer.” 

Ajax nodded, “Nice to meet you too, Sky Bracer.” 

Sky Bracer nodded, but Ajax suddenly got yanked away by his clothes. He turned alarmed and was ready to slap the hands away, but then he saw warm eyes, and all of a sudden his hands lowered. No matter what form Zhongli was in, he would always warm up to the man no matter what.

He was like butter in his warm hands; he melted.

He was easily swayed by the man’s soft words and even softer eyes; and although these eyes of his didn’t exactly portray warmth, they were still so captivating. Perhaps his eyes were a big part of the reason why he always seemed to agree to whatever he wished (was that something all archons had?). 

Morax’s hands started to take off his shuhe, and tugged at the belt, causing the shirt to slip off. 

This, caused Ajax to snap back into reality and swat at Morax’s hands, embarrassed, “W-hat are you doing?!” 

The god blinked before he looked calmly at Ajax, “You are not wearing it right.” 

Wearing wha-oh. 

He looked down at his extremely messy and disorganized shuhe and flushed, “Oh…”

Morax nodded and continued to redo Ajax's messy work, “This goes on this way,” he added one of the outermost layers and placed it over the layer he had on top. He tied the belt once more and organized the pendant so that it was precisely on the left side, making sure the jade pendant faced the correct way. He also organized the sleeves and made them much neater then Ajax could ever hope of doing himself. 

This continued on for a few more awkward seconds, but he’d be lying if he said that he did not enjoy the attention.

Yeah, his feelings for the archon in front of him were complicated at best, however, he couldn’t deny that he could not appreciate the eyes and hands that seemed to gaze up and down his form; diligently organizing the messy shuhe. Every once in a while, he would look up to meet the curious gazes from the rest of the adepti. They seemed to have a variety of expressions ranging from mortified to shocked and to amused. Everyone’s reaction was completely different from the next, Guizhong was a little taken aback herself but other than that she seemed amused. 

Amused by his suffering; maybe she wasn’t a god of kindness and mercy after all…

Finally, after a few minutes, he was finally done. Morax took off his hands, checked the shuhe once more before he nodded approvingly, “Good.” 

Ajax was still in the middle of processing what had just happened, so he let out a small, “Thanks,” before he turned the brightest shade of red Guizhong had ever seen, “Woah! Di-di, you’re glowing red like jueyun chilis!” 

Ajax wanted to crawl into a ball of self-pity again, for the third time in his life. 

______________________________________

Dinner went by in a flash, and all Ajax remembers from it (besides the absolutely mouth-watering dishes) was the utter embarrassment he felt throughout the entire exchange. The other adepti did not bring it up (thank Celestia), but the awkward encounter did seem to linger throughout their minds as their eyes darted from Morax to Ajax respectively. 

Just what was on their minds? 

He decided to ignore them, and kept eating (as well as he could anyways) with his chopsticks. However, he mostly stuck to using the spoon to scoop things up, which thankfully did not cause any further stares. 

After dinner, Ajax was escorted to his room by none other than Cloud Retainer and Guizhong. A rather odd duo. Guizhong had wanted to escort Ajax back with Morax (muttering something about ‘making her lousy Shizun more sociable’), but Morax had managed to slip by her. And besides that, since Cloud Retainer was still highly distrusting of him, she offered to lead him down the mountain. The only reason she hadn’t done so the first time, was because she was busy with other duties and because Ajax seemed too tired to hurt even a fly. So, he went down the mountain with the two adepti. 

Guizhong was as chatty as ever, talking to Ajax about her new ideas for new projects involving new secret technology she was developing; only to be hushed by Cloud Retainer who told her, ‘It can not be a secret if you are blurting it out so much, noisy girl.’ 

Guizhong huffed and decided to talk about other topics, such as new villages in the middle of construction, new flowers she had encountered, and stories about Morax and the other adepti. But amidst all of the topics, one specifically stuck out to Ajax. 

“-Shizun never has let me into his domain ever since. Besides that di-di, there has been a rise of rift wolf sightings since the week before.” 

“Rift wolves?” 

Guizhong was taken aback, but was delighted all the same that he had said anything at all, “Yes, we have seen them a while ago. Have you ever seen rift wolves before di-di? ” 

He had more than just seen rift wolves before. Back when he was in the abyss, he had to fight off those annoying things at every turn. They smelled abyssal energy from a mile away and had been known to come directly to places where it was in excess. The bad thing about that, was that ever since he had adapted to the energy down in the abyss, every time he killed any monster he had to swallow all of their energy in order to not catch the attention of a rift wolf.

However, even though he had adapted to the abyssal energy, it did not mean that it still did not affect him in any way. When he swallowed too much at one go, his bloodlust and the need to eat up more energy poked at his very soul.

It was almost like an addiction, a high; however the more he ate more of the energy, the more he himself exuded that energy and the harder it was to keep a lid on it. 

Skirk had warned him from consuming too much at a time; she herself had told Ajax about the horrors she had seen of those who have had too much. They mostly ended up going through a slow metamorphosis, where they would be gradually transformed into the very monsters they once killed and detested. It was a painful process and it was not preventable once it happened. And since, it was not something he himself wanted to go through, he tried to limit the amount he ingested. 

“Yes, I have,” he said, rather simply. 

Guizhong nodded and looked solemnly downwards, “....I feel quite sorry for the creatures.” 

Sorry? 

Why would she feel sorry? 

“Don’t be. They are worthless and helpless creatures, no need to waste time on them,” Cloud Retainer replied, looking irritated at her words. 

Guizhong sighed and gave a small smile, “That’s precisely why I feel sorry for them. They do not have any meaningful existence and are just going through the motions or their circumstances. They are quite......pitiful.” 

They didn’t say anything else for the rest of the walk, and bid Ajax farewell before going towards the direction of their own living spaces. 

______________________________

Ajax drifted off to sleep and dreamed about his past memories: times spent with Zhongli by the harbor, his mom’s warm pirozhki's and the comforting smell of silk flowers. 

However, his sweet space was quickly disrupted when he was awoken by the shaking of his shoulders. He swatted them off and buried his face deeper into his pillows, but the person kept shaking his shoulders, this time saying his name, “Ajax....wake up.” 

He opened his eyes begrudgingly and saw who it was….Morax?!

What was he doing in his house?!

Chapter Text

Morax was staring down at Ajax, alarm evident in his voice, “Ajax....wake up. We must go, now.” 

Ajax sleepily got up and stared at Morax, “Go…where?” 

Morax’s alarm did not leave his eyes and he looked towards the direction of the front door, “Mt. Hulao is under attack, I have come here to evacuate you.” 

Mt. Hulao under attack? By what? By who? 

Now, he was fully awake, “By who?” 

Morax pulled him along, and they made their way towards the back of the house, “They have not caught up to us yet. That is good.” 

“Who? Who hasn’t caught up to us?” Ajax asked, nearly falling over from the force Morax was using to pull him along. 

This time gold eyes met dark blue, Morax finally turned to look at him; his gaze was scalding and filled with a panic that he had not seen from Rex Lapis in any of his forms. His face was filled with panic and pure unadulterated dread.  

An expression he had never seen from the always seemingly calm expression always on the Wangsheng Funeral Director. Even in the most tense of situations, he always seemed to keep his cool and go about situations in a calm-headed manner. So, in other words, this was a brand new look on the archon. If he was the archon in his time, he would have not wasted the opportunity to laugh at Zhongli’s expression and poke fun at him about it later. However, with the urgency in his face; he wanted to take back the possibility of even doing such a thing. 

Morax parted his lips and the next words he uttered quickly caused shivers down Ajax’s spine. 

“Rift wolves.” 

___________________________________

His face scrunched up, as he remembered the unpleasant memories at the mention of their invasion on the mountain. However, along with the unpleasant memories that resurfaced there was another feeling that overtook Tartaglia: hunger.  

He stood still for a moment, and yes, it really was rifthounds. Their strong abyssal energy was tainting the air, he could smell it. The abyssal beast in him cried in pleasure, he would finally get the rush of adrenaline and the feeling of warm blood on his palms; and he would do it all with old friends. It almost caused a momentary need for celebration. After having fought puny hilichurls, he was rather excited at the prospect of fighting real opponents.

And aside from the challenge that they posed, he would also get to have a taste of that delectable energy. It had been a long while since his mouth had savored that tart and burning feeling that entered his insides and corroded him from the inside-out. Sweet pain. He tried to rush towards his vision and his bow, but was still being restrained by Morax. 

He frantically pulled at his arm like a wild animal. He needed to fight them, he needed to, he wanted to, he ached to do it. Every fiber in his whole being was screaming at him, screaming to run towards the face of danger. 

Morax refused to let go, and looked visibly confused at his sudden frantic display, “Where are you going? We have to leave, right this instant. You can not stay here.” 

Leave? Tartaglia wanted more than to run right into the horde of rift wolves and devour them. He didn’t want to run away from them, it would be very dissatisfying to not see and hear how their bones would crack under his hands and the way they would attempt to run away. Leaving was not what he wanted. 

However, instead of admitting this to him, he calmed himself down enough to say, “I…I have to get my bow, in case I have to ermm....defend myself.” 

Morax looked reluctant to let him go, however, he loosened his grip enough for Tartaglia to rush towards his nightstand and grab his bow and vision. He tied his vision to his clothes and hurried over to the front door. 

He would fight them head on; no matter what tried to stop him. He yanked the door handle over and ran as fast as he could, towards that tantalizing smell. He ran through the terrain, almost as if he was stuck in a trance. 

He couldn’t hear Morax chasing after him, as he ran through the rest of the adepti, that were doing their best to hold the rifthounds off. They yelled after him, after they spotted a flash of auburn hair run past them, looking as enthusiastic as a kid getting handed the candy they wanted. 

________________________________

Cloud Retainer squawked when she saw the kid rushing through the frontlines and throwing devastating blows, after blows, to the rifthounds. The brand new adeptus threw the rift wolves as if they were simply toys for him to play around with. 

The kid even laughed in sick pleasure, when he cut open one of the wolf’s head clean off with his hydro spear. And he continued to laugh, as he cut, and cut through the hordes of rift wolves heading straight towards him. However, he did not only go straight for the kill, he let them bite onto his body and let them claw at him, as a way to cruelly taunt them before he brutally cut open their heads

Blood and entrails flew all over the battleground, to the point where it no longer looked like a battle, but a brutal massacre. 

In fact, he was so good at killing the damn things, that the rest of them did not need to do anything. He just sprinted towards them at light speed, slit their throats, and gutted them, one after another. Not stopping to even catch his breath. They stood mesmerized as the auburn-haired adeptus ripped through the rift wolves and giggled in delight amidst all of the massacre. 

It was a sadistic sight. 

Madam Ping stopped slicing her spear through the rift wolf as she witnessed Ajax slicing through them with practiced ease. Cloud Retainer herself lowered her spear in her human form, looking absolutely scandalized. Moon Carver looked mildly impressed as he took a mere second to glance at Ajax, before going back to driving his sword back through the rift wolf that was approaching him. Mountain Shaper just glanced at him momentarily, before he continued with his own fighting. However, Sky Bracer looked at Ajax with proud and astonished eyes. 

Without knowing it, Ajax had drawn the attention of all of the adepti. However, he did not pay any attention to them, and merely continued to slice the heads off the rift wolves, and felt the delicious abyssal energy start to release. 

However, before he could swallow the addicting substance, he was met with his own mesmerizing sight. 

While he got momentarily distracted by the potential meal, he had missed the rift wolf that had managed to sneak up on him and was aiming straight for his neck. But instead of the rift wolf piercing through his vital arteries; the wolf itself was pierced through the chest, and brought down by none other than Morax himself.

The God of War himself was in battle; he was captivating. 

Ajax stood still as he saw Morax crushing his opponents as if they were simply leaves under his shoe. He tore at limbs and spilled blood on the floor, with brutal force. Force that would annihilate anyone unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end of his spear and hands. 

It was quite the contrast from Zhongli. 

Zhongli was elegant and strategic when it came to defeating his opponents, and more often than not he would only incapacitate those who dared oppose him. He would be merciful against them, and would only really strike them, if they truly caused a threat against those he loved. Morax was the opposite of that; he was neither elegant nor strategic, he was brutal and unforgiving in his blows. 

It was utterly captivating to see how Zhongli used to fight....he wanted to fight him more than ever. 

However, he couldn’t do that now. And, once the smell of iron entered his nostrils, he was reminded of where he really was. And so, he grabbed at his own dual blades and continued to slice through the hordes of abyssal beasts that strolled in. 

_________________________________

After a few hours, they were finally cleared out.

Ajax took a step back and gazed at the abyssal taint that permeated the once clean air. He greedily swallowed it and relished the tart and slight burn he would feel after he consumed it (as well as the slight rush of newfound strength and energy he felt after he ate it). However, he knew what his limit was, so he didn’t swallow too much of it, not if he wanted to end up as a madman.

His master, Skirk had warned him about it, and he wasn’t going to be too greedy and test out what his master had profusely told him about. 

After he was done, he messily wiped his filthy cheeks on his shirt and breathed a sigh of satisfaction (it had been a while since had gotten full with abyssal energy). Thankfully, he had changed the very elegant hanfu that Guizhong had handed him into a more lightweight hanfu, that had allowed more mobility. And he silently thanked his past self for sleeping with the lightweight clothes on instead of sleeping in his underwear; like he usually did. 

He turned around and was about to march over to his house or maybe fight a few more monsters before going back to bed….and was met with mixed expressions. 

He hadn't noticed when, but the Adepti were all gathered around him. 

Guizhong was the first one who spoke up, she looked equally concerned and….impressed (?), “Shidi! You didn’t tell me you were that good at fighting!!” 

He was taken aback…what? 

“What? ” 

Guizhong laughed at her junior’s perplexed face, “You didn’t tell me you were that good at fighting before! It was super awesome!” Her expression darkened, she frowned, “….Don’t ever do that again! You scared me half to death! I was about to yell at Shizun if something happened! I asked him to escort you out of the danger zone, but when you weren’t escorted back to the cave with me, I got worried and thought that something must have happened to you!” 

….What?....

In all of his life, he had never had someone who worried about him as much. Sure, his mom would worry about him, constantly checking him for injuries after he got back from his trips with his father. However, that sort of concern for him faded out shortly after what he did at 14. His mother no longer looked at him with worry and instead it was overtaken by fear. She, as well as his dad, were afraid of their own son. 

And after he climbed the ranks of the Fatui and became a Harbinger, no one ever looked at him with such clear concern.

Sure, Ekaterina would look at him that way every once in a while (usually when he wasn’t getting enough sleep or when he would go missing for days at a time), but it wasn’t because she was worried that something would happen to him. She was mostly just concerned about what would happen if she put her boss’ life in jeopardy and the repercussions she would face as a result. But, it wasn’t because she was particularly fond enough of Childe to the point where she would be worried for him. 

Most of the time, people’s eyes were filled with nothing but either contempt, cold admiration, or blood-curdling fear.

He was the Tsaritsa’s Vanguard after all, which meant that he had to mindlessly kill off whatever opponent stood in the way of her divine plan; without so much as batting an eye. 

So, he was a little more than taken aback when Guizhong’s eyes were filled with nothing but worry and concern, the genuine and earnest kind.

The rare kind, he had never seen in anyone else's eyes but his mothers and......Zhongli....

He laughed and scratched at his cheek, “Shijie, it’s alright.....I just went over because I wanted to assist you all in battle.” Well, it wasn’t a lie, he really did want to assist them in battle (but it was mostly out of his strong desire for battle, that outweighed the need to defend the mountain, but he was never going to tell anyone that ). 

Guizhong laughed and reached her hand out to pat his head, before she was stopped.....by Cloud Retainer.

She was still in her mortal form and she had reached her hand out to pull it away from Ajax.

They both turned to look at her, there was a hint of disgust in her eyes, “Guizhong, do not touch him! That man is an abyssal monster!"

Guizhong’s smile fell down and she turned to look at Cloud Retainer, with a seriousness he had not seen before in Guizhong’s gaze, “Cloud Retainer, he’s my shidi. Whether he might’ve been in the Abyss before does not matter to me, he’s an adeptus first and foremost. Isn’t that right, Shizun? ”

She turned to face Morax, who only nodded.

Guizhong brightened up and her smile widened all the more, “He’s an adeptus who is bound to serve our Lord. And besides, he has not attacked us so far, and has even helped us wipe out the rift wolves. Someone who is allied with the Abyss would not just wipe out his own kind. And, I don’t think he would willingly cause me any harm if I touch him, he seemed to be very highly aware of how to control his abyssal energy. I believe we are being too presumptuous.” 

The other adepti still did not seem to agree with her, and all voiced their concerns. 

Moon Carver spoke up first and snarked, “Lady Guizhong, while it is still possible that he might not be allied with the abyss, that does not mean that he has our best interests at heart. We can’t possibly accept an abyssal beast amongst us, and risk possible betrayal; adeptus or not.” 

Mountain Shaper nodded, adding his own remarks, “That is right. Lady Guizhong, we cannot just accept an abyssal beast into our group without delving deep into his affiliations to the abyss. He was showing many of the signs of someone corrupted by the Abyss. And, he has even swallowed the harmful abyssal energy that our divine bodies cannot handle, an investigation on this matter must be conducted.” 

“While I do agree with both of your concerns. You must at least try and see it from Lady Guizhong’s perspective. While it is right that we are distrusting of Ajax due to his apparent affiliation with the Abyss, it is still important to consider the fact, that while he has been involved with the Abyss prior, he might not be on their side,” Sky Bracer added in.

Madam Ping nodded, “Yes, whilst we should be speculative over Ajax. It is not right to assume he is on the same side as the Abyss, from mere observation on a singular event.” 

Cloud Retainer huffed, but did not say anything else. 

_________________________________

In order to come to an agreement, he was put on probation of sorts. If they noticed him doing any strange and fishy behavior, they would immediately throw him out and would not allow him back in no matter what. Guizhong was one of the few that was opposed to this idea, but considering that the first idea of many of the adepti was to kill him at the first sight of him doing anything strange; it was way better. 

Morax was the only one who did not put any input and instead just opted to look at Ajax, with a strange....vaguely intrigued stare; like the one a treasure hoarder did after their eyes had landed on potential treasure. His gaze was a sharp contrast to the hostile, neutral, and concerned looks that were being thrown his way by all of the adepti. 

It was very strange, and Ajax did not know how to react to it.

So, he didn’t and decided to go to his house to take the much needed rest his tired body needed. The battle-enthusiast side of himself wanted to keep on fighting and spill blood, but his body seemed to refuse. It was aching all over from the hours, on hours spent fighting hordes, after hordes of rift wolves. 

_________________________________

The next couple of days were nothing out of the ordinary, he woke up, did some training, fought, bathed, ate, and slept.

Well, maybe not so ordinary after all.

Because, the only thing that similarly stuck out like his red hair seemed to amongst the crowd of Liyuen people was….well….the fact that Morax seemed to follow him...everywhere. 

And well, at first, he thought it might have been his imagination.

After all, why would an eventual archon like Morax be interested in Ajax’s mundane routine? 

But, his paranoia, seemed to come true, since he would begin to see Morax in the corner of his eyes, whenever he would be training. The man would often take a shower with him as well, so he wasn't crazy after all. 

But even so, he still didn't understand why Morax would do such a thing? 

At first, he came to the conclusion that perhaps he was there to observe him; to make sure he did not get up to trouble, but that theory was quickly died out when he talked to Guizhong about it.

She had invited him over to tea (with Cloud Retainer there, to make sure he didn’t try and harm her, spear at the ready). She eagerly talked to him about the new and interesting things she had taught her new-found following of devoted worshipers; her beloved people (as she would call them). 

She was just finished talking about how she had helped her people build a highly efficient irrigation system (that was better than any they had seen before), and how she had had personally gone down to help them with it.

And, after she trailed off, Ajax took it as the perfect opportunity to ask her about it, “Um…Shijie…may I please ask you something?” 

She was in the middle of bringing a very delicate porcelain cup to her lips, before she gently brought the cup down and asked, “Sure, shidi, what is it?” 

Guizhong looked mildly intrigued and waited in anticipation to see what he would say. He cleared his throat and looked away from her piercing gaze, “Um…Shizun..…has been....um….following…me?...Do you perhaps…know why? ” 

Guizhong looked bewildered, her eyes nearly popping out of her eye sockets, her mouth agape.....and was that…blush?

Even Cloud Retainer looked like she had just undergone the 7 stages of grief; her usually irritated expression formed an amalgamation of emotions. A strange sight to see on her. 

Guizhong stared at Ajax for a bit, before she coughed lightly into her hands and said, “Oh!...Shizun has been....following you? Yes, that is.....quite strange, he did not mention anything about that to me…...Cloud Retainer would you know anything about this?” 

Cloud Retainer visibly stiffened in her own chair and choked on her tea, “...This one does not know why either.” 

Then why? 

Guizhong did not say anything else for the rest of their evening together, and Ajax was too embarrassed to bring it up again. However, she especially looked jittery and mildly flustered the rest of their evening and she stumbled through her movements. Cloud Retainer was no different. 

So, with that possibility taken out of the equation. He still did not know why Morax insisted on following him around everywhere. 

It was almost ironic. 

Back in his time period, he was usually the one who actively pursued Zhongli and desperately tried to extend their time together. He recalls how he would practically beg Zhongli to spend more time with him, pouting at him, and trying to use his face to get what he wanted. And well.....Zhongli always fell into his trap, always agreeing to him, weak to his puppy-eyes. 

But now, it was Morax who was following everywhere, sort of like a lost duckling. It was almost sort of cute. If you define ‘cute’ as a potentially deadly god of war, following you around and observing you like a bashful lovesick fool does to their crush…

It was something weird, and unexpected for a man that was once so graceful and knowledgeable, to be acting in such a way. 

It was weird, but slightly endearing. 

So, he decided to gather the courage and ask around some more, about the matter. 

Madam Ping’s smile sort of faltered when he told her about it and she visibly flushed, “Oh…I’m afraid I do not know. It seems like that's something you should ask him, yourself.” 

Like he would ever ask Morax himself about why he was following Ajax around! Ajax nearly shuddered to think how that awkward conversation would go. Besides, how would he even bring that up? He shrugged off her advice, and decided to ask around, hoping for more clearer answers. 

Next, he decided to ask Mountain Shaper and Moon Carver (adepti whom Xiao had most likely gotten his attitude from…). However, their snarky and bad attitudes got disrupted when he told them the news. Simultaneously, seemed to grow exasperated if not a bit embarrassed. And, it was Moon Carver who spoke up, with a mortified expression on his face, “I do not know.” 

Mountain Shaper looked decidedly more flustered, and only mustered up enough courage to shake his head. 

Sky Bracer was the only one who seemed to remain calm out of all of them, if not a little embarrassed, “I don’t know, but I would go with shimei's advice and ask him yourself.” 

Ajax sighed, and accepted his fate.

He guessed he would have to ask him, himself. 

__________________________________

That night, he decided he was going to ask Morax.

And so, he hit up the usual training grounds (knowing for a fact, that the God would most likely be there).

And, indeed, there he was.

Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Morax; lying lazily on a wide tree branch, looking content, and focused on Ajax’s every movement. 

His eyes bore into Ajax, and he felt his neck grow flushed with heat.

He tried to ignore the eyes that bore into his skin, but it was hard to ignore, especially when he felt them follow his every move, no matter how small. 

The embarrassment grew, and he felt himself grow nervous, but those eyes still remained locked on him. 

Damn it! 

He couldn’t take it anymore!

Jaw clenched, he blurted out, “Umm…Shizun….would you like to train with me?” 

The god was clearly not expecting someone to spot him, and hastily got down from the tree in one smooth motion, before he approached Ajax with a certain hesitance in his expression, "I do not wish to train at this moment.....I was merely observing your training.” 

Oh, he was not expecting him to be so direct about it. But, he decided to go along anyway, “And why is that?” 

Morax stilled a little bit, but still replied, “I am intrigued. Your fighting style is not like any I have ever seen before, and I would simply like to study it......I apologize if I have made you uncomfortable.” 

Ajax was already uncomfortable when he took several bathes together along with the other adepti and Morax. But, he was already past that feeling altogether. What overtook him now, more so,   confusion. 

Just why Morax insisted on following him everywhere? 

Did he perhaps not trust Ajax, and simply wanted to personally make sure he wasn’t causing any trouble? 

He shook his head, “No, it's fine.” 

There was an awkward pause and Morax nodded. However, there were those eyes again; they seemed to fluctuate between a distant warmth and not-so subtle fascination. They seemed to almost glow amidst the darkness, just like how they looked back when they had first met. And, if he looked closer he could almost detect a small pattern inside of his eyes, that seemed glow brighter than the rest of his eye. 

They seemed to pull him in, and he couldn’t deal with those eyes of his, so he looked away, “…I’m sorry if this is too insolent of me, but…I would like to ask. Why do you…um....follow me everywhere?” 

His voice came out as a nervous, high-pitched squeak, and a part of him winced at how his voice had sounded. 

He had meant to ask the question with more nonchalance.....but it seemed that nonchalance was not suited for him-at least not around Morax. 

Morax paused once more, almost as if was yet again not expecting Ajax to say that. However, instead of getting mad or denying it he simply said, “You.....intrigue me. I want to find out more about you. However, I once again apologize if I have made you uncomfortable. Guizhong has commented that you seemed uneasy, and has strictly stated that I have to communicate more about my intentions......I was planning on telling you tonight, but your fighting style has…distracted my thoughts,” Morax looked away sheepishly at that last sentence.

This caused Ajax to pause. 

So, he was interested in him? 

A God of War was interested in his fighting style? 

What? 

Ajax paused and almost burst out laughing from the absurdity of it all. Here he was, stressing over something that wasn’t what he thought it was. It was a huge relief, he almost thought he would have to fight against the god early on! 

What a relief! 

So, the young archon just wanted to learn more about Ajax, but didn’t know the right way to do it. How could he have forgotten that, this was just the way Zhongli was, during the times before and after the Archon War.

While, he was powerful god, and the creator of mora itself. In all accounts of Morax, in Liyue’s history.....he was rather socially incompetent. 

Thanks to the multitude of conversations with Zhongli about....essentially himself, he had realized that although Morax was the one who founded Liyue and had created mora, he was rather terrible at communicating with his own people. 

There were several mishaps throughout the history of Liyue, that were simply caused by his inability to properly communicate what he wanted to say to his people with his vague messages. Which was also part of the reason why Guizhong was such a good influence on him. She had helped him communicate and empathize with his people more, and had helped him build connections with other adepti better.

So in a way, they almost equally balanced each other out. 

And while it’s not widely accepted as fact in Liyuen history books, Ajax likes to believe that Guizhong was sort of a co-ruler to Liyue, even if she wasn’t officially a co-ruler. She basically took on that role, and helped Rex Lapis out whenever he was unsure of what to do. One of the other note worthy things she had accomplished, was constructing the blueprints of Liyue Harbor; she is even deemed to be one of the most influential architects in the modern times!

And, if that wasn't impressive enough.

She had even laid out her 4 commandments: “Teach with wisdom, be bound by virtue, fortify the bones, unite in ambition.” 

Commandments, which helped settle the disorder in Liyue at the time, and laid the foundations for the laws that would eventually be set in stone. 

She was the one who did most of the strategizing during the Archon War and she built most of the weapons they used; while he was the brute force who helped defeat opponent after opponent. 

And yet, Ajax couldn’t help but not recognize this version of Zhongli. 

Zhongli was an empathetic, kind, patient, and forgiving, and by all accounts, someone that all of his adepti and people seemed to hold in high regard. And yet, Morax did not know how to empathize yet, was rather impatient, brutal, and someone whom his adepti respected, but were not particularly fond of, yet. 

In fact, Ajax picked up on their lack of closeness when he was transported by that goddess. While it was true that the adepti seemed to be loyal to Morax and obeyed his orders, they were not all that fond of him, and mostly carried out their orders because they had too. Even at the dinners they shared together, it was all pretty divided. 

Mountain Shaper and Cloud Retainer only really talked to each other, unless they were talked too, or unless some sort of trouble arised. Moon Carver and Sky Bracer mostly talked with each other (and on many occasions Mountain Shaper would join them), however, Sky Bracer was more open to talk with the rest of the group than Moon Carver was. Madam Ping, Morax, and Guizhong also stuck as a group of some sort, and were more willing to bring Ajax into the conversation and fill him in on what he had missed. 

The only adepti out of all of them who really talked with all of them, was Guizhong. But, given her good reputation, as well as her extroverted and kind nature, it was easy to see why everyone enjoyed her company. Even the occasional fleeting jealous feeling in the pit of Ajax’s stomach whenever he saw Guizhong especially close to Morax, was drowned out by the strong feeling of fondness he had for her.

It was rather crazy how fond he had grown of Guizhong over the past weeks. 

She was just the type of person that everyone liked, no matter what.

Ajax shoved his racing thoughts and just shook his head, “Ah, no. It’s quite alright Shizun. If you wanted.....I could....perhaps....teach you my fighting style.” 

He nearly wanted to smack himself clean across his face, he was going to teach the God of War, how to fight? 

It was very absurd, and he was about to take it back when Morax’s expression seemed to gleam with sudden interest, “If it is not any problem, then I would like to."  

____________________________________

And so, here he was. 

Ex-lover of the ex-archon of Liyue, teaching the past self of his ex-lover his fighting style and technique, step by step, like he usually did to the trainee’s back at the Fatui army. 

He summoned a polearm with his hydro vision and showed a couple of blocks and fast attacks to Morax, who simply just watched him with keen interest. Morax himself had his own polearm out and occasionally mimicked Ajax’s movements with perfect precision (as expected of someone with that much battle experience and a literal god of war). It was one of the most absurd situations he had ever gotten himself into.The only thing to get out of such a situation was that he was gradually getting more comfortable talking with Morax. 

He did another slash at the training target and was interrupted by a slow, baritone voice, “Do....you know how to use all weapons?” 

Ajax wiped his sweat off with the end of his sleeve, “Yes, I’ve mastered most of them. But......I’m the worst with my bow.” 

Morax nodded, “Mn......Why is that?”

Ajax let out a small self deprecating sigh, “Oh, well, I’m the worst at it because I’m not used to far-ranged combat and because I’m too impatient to master it.” It was true, he could not handle how slow it was to draw each individual arrow and shoot it, he preferred to be right in the middle of battle and face the enemy head on rather than draw each arrow and fire from afar. 

Morax seemed to take in his words and nodded, “Yes, I see what you mean. I myself can not understand why someone would want to use a bow, instead of a weapon that is fast to equip and use.” 

Finally! There was someone who got him! He did not know why anyone preferred bows to swords, but then again, the people who used bows were probably not good at close-ranged combat. However, he still wanted to master the bow in order to be able to use it efficiently, in case he ever got into a position where he did not have his vision or another weapon laying around. 

There was another long pause before Morax spoke up again, “I have also....noticed that you can create weapons using your elemental powers, which you retrieve from that strange looking object. How have you achieved such a feat and how have you managed to obtain your elemental powers?” 

“I’m not sure how I obtained them....I just did....And...I got bored one day and decided to try to see if I could make weapons out of it, and now I use them often.”

He was lying, he knew why.

He was stuck in the abyss for 3 months and was miraculously blessed with a vision (Celestia sure has a sick sense of humor). He instantly found out he could mold whatever he wanted out of water and quickly mastered how to create weapons out of them.

In the abyss, he could not stop to think about anything, he was constantly on the move with his master, Skirk. They could not stay in one place for long and had to learn how to quickly adapt to the situation they were in. And since water is adaptable, he guessed it was the perfect fit for his situation. And so, he had shaped it into any weapon he needed at that moment, and soon enough he could change it on the go. 

Morax’s eyes bored into him, “Hm....You seem to be lying to me.”

Ajax nearly jerked back when Morax had said that. He was not expecting Morax to call him out so directly on his bluff, but he decided to not let it be known on his face and instead just shrugged. 

Morax’s eyes were once more lit with interest and mirth, “It is alright. I will not pry. Guizhong has told me that it is quite insensitive. However, it is interesting how you have managed to mold it so easily, most adepti take up about hundreds of years to be able to control their respective elements....It is quite the impressive feat...” 

Ajax did not expect a compliment of all things and got immediately flustered. Zhongli had never strayed away from giving him endless sweet compliments. However, it felt much different when Morax said them, but he guessed that it might have had something to do with his naturally apathetic if not disinterest in everything around him. 

Even when he was in combat, he did not seem the slightest bit interested in those he was fighting. He just seemed concentrated and slightly irritated. Even when he looked at those around him, he seemed to be rather disinterested the more Ajax thought about it. 

But with that fact in place, it just added onto Ajax’s unanswered questions. 

________________________________

After a few more hours of teaching-thankfully-Morax had not asked any further questions. And had dutifully noted and followed Ajax’s directions well.

And....from an outsider’s perspective it might have looked like it was Ajax who was the real Shizun instead of Morax. 

Which created a strange mental image.....

But (thankfully), it was all over, and Ajax went over to his room. He did not choose to take a shower that day, partially because he was 90% sure he would fall asleep in the water if he did, and because he did not want to run into Morax and risk another awkward situation. 

Ajax sighed and drifted off to sleep. 

Not noticing the god watching over him in his sleep; intrigued by such a bright and brutal man. 

_______________________________

Morax has never considered himself to be someone that was particularly intrigued by almost anyone. Even in times where very beautiful men and women tried their best to seduce and captivate him; he did not bat an eye towards them.

Because in his eyes, beings such as those, were not worth his time. They were merely people who wanted to waste their time on principles that were based solely on worldly pleasures, and he simply did not have the patience to waste his time on such trivial things. Even if he was curious from time-to-time, to see how such things would feel. 

But even so, his blasé attitude to such things prevented him from having sex. 

In fact, he believed that he was merely sexually impotent, since he did not react when other beauties undressed themselves in front of him. Instead, what he felt was mild annoyance, and he ignored them in favor of the shiny jewelry they usually wore. 

He simply did not feel lust, or the strong desire to partake in sex. 

Morax remembers the amount of Gods that had offered themselves up as concubines or even lovers. Many were considered beauties-individuals that were highly desired and coveted by others-Morax simply could not find it in himself to feel any sort of attraction to them. 

Such as Osial, who had attempted to ensnare Morax up in his beauty, with a charming smile, a lovely wooden-framed fan, and a cup of rice wine. He had worn expensive clothes, which he had tailored specifically for nights like these, with his long, smooth, dark blue hair flowing to his sides like waves, reflecting the moonlight. He was known to be promiscuous, so it was not uncommon for him to proposition gods or humans for these things. 

And while, Morax knew others considered him a timeless beauty-someone who would always be considered beautiful even throughout the centuries-he had not found himself attracted to him, even when the god shamelessly attempted to seduce him. 

But, Morax had not bat an eye, and had simply offered Osial a contract, in order to keep friendly relations between their growing nations and territories. Osial had simply blinked at him before the mole below his eye seemingly faded and bent, as his face contorted in amusement. He laughed, but agreed to Morax's contract, and had praised Morax for being a 'man of steel, unperturbed in the face of a devilish-temptation'....Morax was still not sure what he meant. 

And so, Morax had merely sent him his regards (upon Guizhong's insistence) when he had gotten married to Beisht. 

And besides the many Gods who had attempted to become betrothed to him (whether that be a mere political marriage or something more intimate), there had also been many mortals and faithful followers who had attempted to offer themselves up as an....offering of sorts. 

Those were the times were Morax simply huffed and ignored them, being outwardly confused as to why they would want to do such a thing with their own God.

Why would they dare to test his patience with such a foolish action? 

Did they truly believe that he was as benevolent and merciful as they thought he was? 

Did they not think that he could easily end their lives for their impudence? 

He remembers having to speak with Guizhong about it, where she nearly choked with laughter....something that he didn't understand. Just what about such a preposterous thing was humors?

But, she had agreed to help, and had put out a message announcing that Morax would not tolerate mortals being offered up and merely wanted treasures, of any kind as long as they were objects. 

And besides, he had dedicated his own existence to other ideals, so he ignored such things as they presented themselves in front of him. 

So far in his life as a newly formed god, only 2 things had ever piqued his interest: Osmanthus Wine and Guizhong, The Goddess of Dust. 

Osmanthus Wine for its delectable flavor and Guizhong for her gentle and compassionate nature (something that Morax simply did not naturally have). 

So, when a certain new adeptus had strolled into his life; he did not bat an eye at the endeavor. 

New adepti formed every once and a while, but they were not exactly rare.

And besides that, it was not as if they would ever come to care about him, as he did them. 

It was a merely transactional relationship, it wasn’t true friendship nor camaraderie. 

It was contract that each party needed to fulfill; Morax would keep Liyue safe and in exchange, they would fight in his honor. 

And while he was slightly curious about the new mortal’s strange appearance and personality, he was not exactly all that interested just yet.

And so, he was thrown for a loop when he witnessed Ajax’s pure ferocity and bloodlust, when he ripped open the necks off of rift wolves with ease, as if they were nothing but a cap to pop open on an expensive wine bottle.

Besides that, however, he was equally perplexed when he saw the way Ajax would laugh in pure delight, as the blood splattered all over his cheeks, sporting an almost callous grin while doing so. 

It was an equally mesmerizing and vicious sight. 

For the first time in over a hundred years, Morax had one more thing to add to his list: Osmanthus wine, Guizhong, The Goddess of Dust, and Ajax, an intriguing anomaly. 

And, the sight after the blood shed, did not disappoint either; only further intriguing Morax. 

Ajax greedily swallowed the dark, violet infectious abyssal energy with such vigor, that Morax nearly wanted to swallow some for himself, to see if he would make the same look of bliss on his face. 

And, besides the potential danger of Ajax’s affiliation with the Abyss, he wanted to know how a newly-formed adeptus could swallow abyssal energy like it was water, without any side-effects afterwards. 

At first, it was mostly out of slight interest and concern for one of his adepti’s well beings, as he had begun to observe Ajax for any potential bad side effects. 

But alas, there was none. 

He looked fine, if not filled with even more vitality than usual. 

In fact, know that he thought about it, the man trained more than he rested.

And he seemed almost....eager to fight the monsters around his house. A complete opposite reaction he thought mortals would have around such danger. 

But what intrigued Morax, The God of War about the man, was even though he knew Ajax to be quite the formidable fighter. And had seen how efficient he was at killing his enemies with a single strategic cut through a vital organ, Ajax still preferred to toy around with his opponents before he landed the final devastating blow that would end their lives.

Almost as if he enjoyed the rush of the battle itself, and merely wanted to play around with his opponents-who foolishly believed that they had a chance in the first place. 

And while his battles with those who he considered be weaker them him. Morax found himself particularly interested when the man fought against fierce opponents. That was because Ajax did not play around, and even appeared to take the fight a lot more more serious as he effortlessly landed a variety of blows, using different weaponry all the while. 

In fact, that was part of the reason for his intrigue. 

He was well adept with any weapon, and he could easily switch from any weapon using his hydro element to mold it to his will. He had seen Ajax’s hydro elemental powers come from that strange decoration of sorts on his unusually tight outfit. And had even spotted it when he first showed up in his cave. 

But he could have never guessed that it would be even related to the hydro element, since he had not seen a human be able to withhold such a power, especially not from such a foreign object that seemed to hold the power they wielded. Morax had foolishly believed that Adepti, Demons, and Gods were the only ones who were able to hold such a power, but he had been deemed corrected. 

And what was most surprising about that, was how well the man was at using his elemental powers, especially since he was a human. Many adepti took hundreds of years before they were able to control their own elements to the fullest extent, especially since he could mold it at will into whatever he wished. 

Which only added to the intrigue he felt for this strange man. 

However, he had expected Ajax to spot him, nevertheless talk to him with Guizhong. He had sat down with Guizhong to talk to her about a few plans to build a city near the harbor. She had given him her insight on her knowledge on engineering and had agreed that their small village had to expand to something bigger. 

They were in the middle of talking about how they would design it, when Guizhong said, “Oh…..and before I forget, Shizun....” Guizhong looked at him rather sheepishly, a look he had not seen her wear before, “My shidi has mentioned that you have been observing him and he looked rather….uneasy.” 

Morax’s eyes widened slightly.

Had he been that obvious? 

“Yes, I have.” 

Guizhong sighed slightly before she took another sip of her tea, “Morax, if there’s something you have to say to my shidi, please say it outright. He has been asking the other adepti about it and I’m worried that the stress might not be good for his health.” 

Morax nodded and Guizhong smiled before she placed her cup down, and went back to discussing the design of the harbor and its buildings. 

So, he had initially gone up into a tree in order to see when Ajax would come, and then he would go and make things right with him. However, he got side-tracked…

Ajax was training once more, he was wearing a short sleeve shirt that fit almost too tightly on his form. It was white and he could only presume that it was the undershirt to the clothes he had on when he showed up in Morax’s home. 

He was sweating and the white shirt was sticking onto his skin, which only seemed to accentuate his lean form of pure muscle. At first, Morax had assumed that he was nothing but skin and bones, however, upon closer inspection he was nothing but lean muscle. And well, his abdomen was on display as well as his….pectoral muscles.......

Morax had always been one to appreciate beauty of all forms, from the most complex of things such as those intricate puzzles and mechanisms Guizhong would invent to the most simplest of things such as the color of many of the things that surrounded him. But, he had never found himself quite endeared to a mortal of any kind, if his past of ignoring such people when they presented themselves off to him was any indicator of the sort. 

So, he was taken aback by himself when he felt strangely attracted to the man before him. 

His gaze lingered longer than he had anticipated, so he was startled when he heard Ajax speak to him. 

The intriguing adeptus had asked him if he wanted to train with him? 

He shook his head and after Ajax confronted him about his behavior in a straightforward manner he was certainly not expecting. 

So, in turn, he answered him honestly. He was interested in Ajax, in how he fought, his background, his story, his weirdly colored hair, those dots on his cheek and shoulders he called ‘freckles’. The way his smile would flash vibrantly whenever he got the opportunity to fight, or the way he seemed to relax and let himself go when he entered the hot springs next to his house. 

He was interested to find what made him tick. 

And after a while, Ajax offered to show him how he fought.

If the situation was different however, he might have snorted in amusement. After all, someone with nearly not as much battle experience as himself was offering Morax, The God of War, The Prime Adeptus, how to fight? It sounded arrogant and utterly preposterous, but the way Ajax worded it was earnest. He was actually willing to teach Morax how he fought, but not because he thought his style to be better, but because he saw how interested Morax was in his technique. 

So, he accepted. 

And, after a while of back and forth and Ajax teaching him every step to his technique, he decided to question him on his ability to mold hydro to his will. And for the first time in their conversation, Ajax had lied. 

Before he could stop himself, he had brazenly said, “Hm....You seem to be lying to me.” 

He could see the way his words affected Ajax. The way he stilled his movements, the way his smile faltered, the way he tried to contain himself. However, instead of lashing out or doing anything for that matter, he shrugged. Like, he couldn’t bother to say that he didn’t, because he knew he was being pointed out for his lie. 

However, Guizhong had taught him that not everyone appreciates too much brutal honesty, so he retracted his words, “It is alright. I will not pry. Guizhong has told me that it is quite insensitive. However, it is interesting how you have managed to mold it so easily, most adepti take up about hundreds of years to be able to control their respective elements....And so, it is quite the impressive feat..." 

This seemed to settle the tense air that once tinted the air, and Ajax visibly turned red. His cheeks turned into a gorgeous shade of cherry red, and Morax was once more captivated by the riveting man. However, he did not voice out his thoughts, and instead settled on obediently following Ajax’s steps. 

And, after a while, they departed.

He had seen how worn out Ajax had been, and while adepti did not need require as much sleep as mortals to be able to function, that did not mean Ajax did not. 

He had yet to see how Ajax’s form worked just yet, and since he was a brand new adeptus, he had to get used to his form before he had fully adapted to the new form. But from all accounts, Ajax had been adapting rather quickly to his new status as an adeptus. And while the others were more hesitant to fully accept him, he had not complained and just rolled with whatever he was given; which was rather admirable. 

His horns had not fully developed yet, and were still a pretty translucent opalesque color, shining delicately with the colors of the rainbow everytime light hit them.

His eyes were also as enthralling as his battle prowess, one of them was a gorgeous dark ocean blue color that seemed to suck in anyone who looked at it for too long, and the other was nearly identical to Morax’s, however it was slightly darker than him, and did not glow like his did. His teeth had yet not fully become fully fledged out fangs yet, and were barely starting to sprout, which resulted in them being very short but very precious nevertheless. His hair was also so incredibly charming, and like his horns, they would glow when the light touched them, as if his entire hair was made out of embers. Not to mention his very handsome features, his incredibly fit form, the scar over his right eyebrow, the many scars on his body (he had spotted them when they had taken a shower together). 

Everything about Ajax, drew Morax in; like a foolish moth to an entrancing flickering flame. 

It was bound to go up in flames. 

However, as he gazed at the charming man and the way he looked at his most relaxed form when he slept, he realized that there was no turning back. 

Chapter Text

When Ajax woke up, he lazily stretched his muscles and yawned slightly before he looked out of his window; the birds were chirping, the leaves were starting to turn into different colors, the wind was blowing small piles of leaves, the sun was coming through the window warming Ajax up. He almost didn’t want to get up, however, the weight of his responsibilities came crashing down onto him. So, he said goodbye to his comfortable bed sheets and mattress before he got up. 

He walked towards his wardrobe where he retrieved the new shuhe Guizhong had gifted him a few days prior.

It was dark blue and had small silver embroidered butterflies as well as wisps of water flowing on the chest area and on the edges of his sleeves. The fabric was pure silk made from silk flowers and it felt amazing on his fingertips. And the inside was aligned with wool, so the cold wouldn't seep through. Guizhong had also gotten him a pair of wrist cuffs, that he slipped on. It was very beautiful and well made, and he took time to admire the careful craftsmanship before he slipped it on. 

He put the undergarments on before he slipped on the several layers of his top robes. He even recalled Guizhong getting his measurements before she had given him another shuhe.  

While the first one was a pretty good fit, according to her, ‘It was still too loose’ on some parts. So, she had dragged Ajax and measured him from head to toe using a small measuring tape, and writing the measurements down on a small piece of paper. 

She then sent the measurements down to a master seamstress who nodded and diligently made the clothes in no time, only using the finest materials and dyes at Guizhong’s insistence. Ajax had been fine with whatever clothes, as long as it could cover him and was light-weight, he would be fine. But Guizhong begged to differ and insisted on the greatest materials for her di-di. 

He walked towards the front door, put on his shoes (after being yelled at by Guizhong to not wear his dirty outside shoes inside and promptly had a pair of slippers made). 

He slipped them on before going outside, and sighed contently when he felt the cool air pass by him. It was refreshing and he breathed in the fresh air greedily and walked towards the stairs up Mt. Hulao, his stomach growling in anticipation for some delicious food. 

He had recently found out but the person who had been in charge of making meals was none other than Madam Ping herself. Which was quite a surprise, after all he had never expected her of all people to make the meals. But, it was a pleasant surprise nonetheless. 

He climbed up the stairs and walked into a heated conversation going on between Guizhong and the rest of the adepti. 

“Lady Guizhong, those are the rules. We can not allow it to slip by us......even if there’s a child involved,” said Cloud Retainer, who sounded the lightest bit sorrowful. 

Guizhong shook her head, determination sprawled across her face, “Cloud Retainer, I understand that we must not let something like this slip by. However, we can’t just allow the child to die, it would go against all of our people’s moral codes and…I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t do anything!” 

Cloud Retainer sighed and turned around. She was in her human form again; her hair was a nice pale blue tied up in a firm high bun, she was quite tall and her aoqun was filled with colors ranging from blue, turquoise, red, black, with gold trim around her collar and the ends of her sleeves. And over that she had a bijia that was similarly aligned with soft wool. But even in human form, her eyes remained the same, they were blue, they pierced the soul, and were not the slightest human. 

However, her eyes looked the slightest bit human, and they sparkled with unshed tears, but she blinked them back rapidly and put on a serious face, “This one knows, Guizhong....This one knows, but those are the rules, are they not?” 

Ajax looked around and all of the adepti had solemn expressions on their faces, until Madam Ping spoke up, “Shigu, Shijie, I understand the circumstances of this situation. But, I have to agree with shijie on this matter. We cannot allow an innocent child to die as a result of the rules that he broke. It is our duty as adepti to protect mortals and other adepti alike, is it not?” 

The adepti hesitantly nodded and Cloud Retainer did not utter another word. Nobody seemed to notice as Ajax subtly slipped past and took a seat, trying his best to not catch their attention. Whatever they were talking about did not concern him, and he did not need to get himself involved in any way. 

However, just as he thought that…Morax(?) greeted him warmly. 

Morax sat up in his seat when he noticed Ajax walk into the room, and had brightened up significantly, “Ajax, you have finally come and joined us for breakfast.” 

All eyes turned to his seat, and Guizhong tried her best to conceal the tears clinging onto her lashes and put on a bright smile, “Di-di! You have come, how are you today? And I see you are wearing the shuhe I gave you, is it comfortable?” 

He nodded, and coughed slightly into his hand and gave a slight bow, “Yeah, it is great, thank you shijie. And good morning to all of you.” 

The adepti just nodded in acknowledgement before they continued talking amongst themselves; they had broken up into their usual groups. 

He turned towards Guizhong, and in her eyes there was a somber expression, but she still smiled regardless. Ajax desperately wanted what was upsetting her this much, but did not say anything in fear of upsetting her. Even if he got jealous over her and Morax’s relationship, he did not want to see such a sweet being cry. 

So, held back the plethora of questions consuming his thoughts and hesitantly picked up the chopsticks and struggled to pick up baozi. He gathered some baozi onto his plate as well as some steamed vegetables and was about to dig in, when he noticed someone new near the table. In fact they were nearly hovering over the entire table with their humongous size. 

It was a large yellowish bear? 

It seemed to notice Ajax’s stares and stared back with the same curiosity. Ajax blinked, once, twice, before he was going to ask who it was. 

But, Madam Ping beat him to it and said, “Oh, I seem to have forgotten to mention, but this is Marchosius. God of the Stove and Patron of soil. He will be joining us for the meal today. In fact, he has helped us with today’s meal. He is on a short visit over here, and will be going back to his own abode in a matters of weeks.” 

Ajax nodded, “I see, thank you shimei…Nice to meet you, Marchosius. My name is Ajax, thank you for the meal.” 

The giant bear nodded and nearly shook the ground with his nod, but nobody seemed to blink an eye. Ajax guessed this was a normal occurrence and just took it as a sign that the bear seemed to greet him as well. 

Ajax nodded back and continued to eat his meal (still struggling with the chopsticks). However, after a while of struggling, Guizhong passed him a spoon. She had most likely seen his struggle with chopsticks and had been graceful enough to hand in a spoon in order to help him with his meal. She had done this other times as well, but this time he was especially thankful. 

He took the spoon and had a much easier time enjoying the meal. 

Although, he still noticed 2 sets of eyes on him, Marchosius’ and Morax’s. 

He could understand why Marchosius was interested in him; since they had never met before and because of how Ajax looked. However, he was not quite sure as to why Morax was staring at him with such intrigue. He had interacted with Morax a lot and they had spent nearly 2 weeks together, so he was sure the shock of his appearance and many other things had worn off already. So, he was quite taken aback, but did not stare back and instead just kept on stuffing his mouth full of mouthwatering food. 

____________________________

Breakfast passed pretty quickly and Ajax got to learn 2 different things (one from talking with someone and the other from eavesdropping). 

The first was that there was a new adepti that was born.

He learned this from talking with Madam Ping.

He had inquired about what they were previously talking about, and before he could take back what he said, Madam Ping had begun to talk, “There is a new adeptus child born yesterday, but she did not come from the mountain, like the rest of us. We were simply discussing what we should do, nothing else.” 

Ajax could estimate that ‘nothing else’ meant that they were debating about what to do about the child. But had not yet come to a conclusion whatsoever. 

The second was that said child was conceived by a human and an adeptus (that was previously thought dead).

He had overheard Mountain Shaper and Cloud Retainer talking about the event. Mountain Shaper was also late to breakfast like Ajax was, and had come shortly after Ajax had arrived. So, he had missed out on the argument previously. Cloud Retainer had switched over to her bird form (was that even the proper name?), and was discussing the manner, like those gossipy aunts at those family gatherings that Ajax had hated going to as a child, “One gathers that you all have come with a conclusion, have you not?” Mountain Shaper said. 

Cloud Retainer shook her head, and almost let out a sigh, “No, one has not. They do not know what to do with the child, and neither does one know either.” 

Mountain Shaper nodded and then said, “Then, does one know where such a child came to be?” 

Cloud Retainer seemed to hesitate before she finally said, “It was he.....He had a child with a human, and…perished shortly after he left the child in the cave of our Lord.” 

Mountain Shaper visibly stiffened before he nodded and looked down. 

Ajax tuned the rest of their conversation out with the realization of the current situation.

Does having a child with a human kill you, if you are an adeptus? Is that part of the reason why those relationships are banned? Is that why Zhongli didn’t die when…Ahem..

He pushed off his memories, and tried to fan away his flushed cheeks. 

The more important thing was that there was a child and it was being kept unsupervised in Morax’s house….he nearly got a heart-attack. 

He turned in a panic towards Madam Ping and asked, “Umm…shimei? Who’s watching over the child?” 

Madam Ping smiled gently at him before she patted his shoulder in a comforting way, “Don’t fret, shidi, Sky Bracer is watching over the child.” 

Ajax let out a sigh of relief and settled back into his seat, the sudden urgency to run down the steps and go into Morax’s house was no longer present. Sky Bracer seemed like he understood humans and adepti pretty well, so, Ajax had faith that he could watch over a child perfectly fine. 

____________________________

Ajax went down the steps, accompanying Guizhong, with Morax along them as well. They went down the steps before Ajax got the courage to ask, “Umm…shijie....may I ask you something?” 

Guizhong turned towards him and smiled genuinely this time, “Shidi, you don’t have to ask me that before you ask me a question. It is fine, just ask whatever you want. I’m all ears.” 

Ajax nodded and quietly said, “Umm…what are you guys planning to do with the child?” 

Guizhong’s expression became distantly somber and her smile fell down. Her eyes glittered with tears once more and she seemed to barely keep it together when gave a wobbly smile, “So, you have heard…...We…are not sure what we should do with her…” 

Morax seemed to notice the melancholy in her voice and continued for her, “It is tradition that all adepti must follow the rules. Those who do not follow the rules and conceive a child will…be executed…alongside their offspring.” 

Ajax felt his stomach turn and twist, “Oh…” 

Guizhong looked at him with tears stuck in her eyelashes; they almost looked like drops of water stuck on a spider’s cobweb after rain, “Yeah…we were discussing what should happen. But, I really don’t want to kill an innocent child who had nothing to do with anything. She doesn’t…she doesn’t deserve death.” 

Ajax felt his crestfallen mood turn into that of stern resolve, “Then don’t. If you do not want to kill her, then you do not have to....You can raise her as one of your own.” 

There was a long pause, and silence seemed to pass over the 3 of them.

The autumn wind blowed, it blew fiercely past Ajax’s hair, covering his eyes. He did not see the look of awe that was on Morax’s and Guizhong’s eyes. They had not thought of that as an outcome and were taken aback by such a simple suggestion. 

They walked on for a few more minutes, and what Ajax said never left them all the while. Guizhong had not come up with such an idea since she was feeling too terrible about the possibility of an innocent kid being killed, for someone else's mistakes that she had never considered the idea that they could do something like that. Morax had been caught up in trying to figure out what to do with the kid and had also not considered that as a solution to the problem. Yet, the solution stared them right in the face. 

_________________________________

During dinner, Morax informed them all of his solution: Raise the child as one of their own. 

And, was met with startled expressions in most of the adepti’s faces. Cloud Retainer looked relieved but mostly shock overtook her face. Mountain Shaper looked largely taken aback but did not really allow it to show on his face and had just nodded. Madam Ping looked happy and a calm relief overtook her face. But Guizhong was the one who looked the most happy out of the rest of them and had burst into tears when Morax informed them of this. 

She was so over-the-moon in fact, that she ran up to Morax and gave him a bone-crushing hug, crying into his shoulder, “Thank you.”  

Morax seemed slightly shaken up by the sudden display of affection and awkwardly patted the back of a shaking Guizhong. He opened his mouth and then shut it, as if he was not sure what he should say in a situation like that. Ajax almost wanted to laugh at the panicked look on Morax’s face, it was very endearing. 

It almost reminded him of the few and far in between times where Zhongli struggled to do anything when people burst into tears in front of him or whenever a fight happened. For some reason that reaction never changed, maybe that’s why he did not know what to do when he saw Childe running out the Golden House. 

He chuckled at the now distant memory and watched as Morax tried to back away from Guizhong’s deathly grasp on his form.

This Rex Lapis was apparently also very weird when it came to displays of affection and seemed almost petrified when it was directed towards him. 

This went on for a painful few more seconds before Guizhong finally let go and wiped at her damp eyes with the ends of her sleeves. She was wearing an aoqun, with gentle blues and light pinks, wearing a bijia over it as well. She looked as stunning as ever, but somehow the image of her crying made her feel almost human and not as elegant and otherworldly as she had first appeared. It made Ajax all the more aware that even if the adepti and gods were very powerful, it didn’t mean that they did not feel emotions. 

She gathered herself up and smiled gently at the rest of the adepti, “Alright then, shall we go and inform Sky Bracer of the good news?” 

Everyone nodded hesitantly and followed an excited Guizhong who nearly dragged Ajax out of his seat to walk hastily down the steps all the way to Morax’s house, “Let’s go di-di!” 

__________________________

They made it to Morax’s house and Sky Bracer immediately shot up from his seat, only relaxing when he saw the adepti. He looked tense as they all had been before, and his eyes carried a certain dread of anticipation in them. However, he simply turned around and went off to the side. 

He was likely thinking the worst but before Ajax could inform him of the excellent news, Guizhong beat him to it, “Sky Bracer! The little one’s going to stay with us!” 

Sky Bracer whipped around and his face became all the more relaxed and he even cracked a small smile, “I see....That is certainly good news, Lady Guizhong.” 

Guizhong nodded eagerly, “Yes! My shidi suggested the idea! Isn’t he such a precious jewel!” 

Ajax felt his cheeks flare up at the unnecessary compliment thrown his way and shook his head, “I simply suggested something, it was nothing extraordinary, shijie.” 

Guizhong laughed and ruffled Ajax's hair (careful to avoid his horns), and shook her head, “It is something extraordinary di-di! You did well!” 

Ajax felt his face warm up once more but could not bring himself to tear off her hands; they were too warm and comforting. 

“Mn....he certainly did well. If he had not suggested it, I would have not been able to decide myself...,” Morax(?) chidded in, a ghost of a smile present on his lips. 

Now Ajax could not hide his embarrassment at the compliments and knew that his cheeks had to be as red as a jueyun chili.

And judging from the way the adepti stared at him, he figured that he did. 

Sky Bracer chuckled, “I see. So then, it was Ajax’s idea?” 

Guizhong and Morax nodded simultaneously; Ajax wanted to dig a hole and bury himself alive once more. 

However, they finally quit teasing Ajax, when they saw Cloud Retainer bring out a small baby wrapped around a small blanket with her beak…and the child was close to falling. 

Guizhong swooped in immediately and carefully caught the small child and carefully wrapped the blanket around her once more, “Shigu, please be more careful. Humans are quite fragile, especially at this age.” 

Cloud Retainer scoffed and turned back into her human form, “This one will keep that in mind. However, that one is not a normal human child.” 

Guizhong shook her head slightly before she chuckled fondly, “That may be so, however, we do not know how fragile a half human child is, so we must treat her carefully.”

Cloud Retainer hesitantly nodded and gently grabbed her from Guizhong’s arms and attempted to imitate the way Guizhong had cradled her. She inspected the child for a bit, and a bittersweet look took over her face, “She has his horns and hair color…hmm…”

Guizhong’s smile faltered once more and it was taken over by a bittersweet one as well, “Yes…she does.” 

Ajax knew better than to question who they were talking about. But, he knew better than to pry at those who were processing grief (if he himself was asked about him in the middle of all of this, he would not know what to say and would be just as down as them) so he stayed quiet and decided to ask at a later time. 

________________________________

Not even a few weeks later, he was seen as the official caretaker of the baby (who still lacked a proper name). It was growing close to winter, and the weather was getting progressively colder and rain was all the more prevalent. 

Many of the adepti had gone out to take care of their people and guide them on what to do during such harsh conditions. So, he was seen as the de facto babysitter of the kid (which served as a distraction to the many thoughts and ideas racing through his head). 

He had no time to think about him and the ugly feelings that surrounded Ajax with a wild child running amuck. 

Surprisingly she had grown pretty quickly and was already a toddler not even a week later. She was already crawling on all fours, and was quite the handful. However, he was at least glad he did not have to deal with her cries 24/7 whenever she was hungry. Instead, she would just tug at his leg, until he got the message. 

He had already grown accustomed to warm up some milk for her and put it in a small baby bottle (Guizhong had gotten them from her people). They had not decided on a name for her yet, and were still figuring it out, so they just called her 'the kid' or 'the child'. 

Today, Ajax had trained for a bit before Cloud Retainer dropped the kid off at his place, muttering about how she had important matters to attend to, so she would leave the child in his capable hands. Ajax sighed and took the child into his house, and had noticed the gray clouds that were accumulating around the skies; a clear indicator that it was going to rain. 

The child settled down pretty quickly once Ajax handed her the baby bottle filled with warm milk and just fell asleep on the Ajax’s dried laundry (which he had wasted many hours scrubbing clean with that washing rack he had gotten from Guizhong, after rubbing his hands raw with that thing and promptly wringing the clothes dry before putting them on the laundry line he had set up outside)…...But even so, he couldn’t be bothered to take her off. 

He sighed and continued to set out a pot of milk for her, in case she woke up hungry. He then started to go and take off his other dry clothes from his washing line, the rain was about to fall and he did not want to wash them again. However, as he was taking the clothes from the line, he was interrupted by a looming figure. 

He looked startled at the figure, and relaxed when he noticed it was Guizhong, who gave him a small wave, “Good evening, di-di!” 

He gave her a wave back and continued to lazily unpin and fold his clothes carefully into a small woven basket, “Good evening, shijie…..What are you doing here?” 

Guizhong smiled and just chuckled, “Ah…my duties are done, so I just wanted to pay you a small visit….Do you need help?” She gestured vaguely to his clothes. 

Ajax chuckled and nodded hesitantly, “If shijie doesn’t mind, it would be greatly appreciated.” 

Guizhong laughed and started to help Ajax unpin the rest of his clothes from the line, “Not at all, di-di!” 

They were in the middle of folding some clothes, when Ajax asked, “So, shijie, how did the meeting with your people go?”

Guizhong kept folding the clothes, but her gaze became soft and incredibly fond, “It went great! They have figured out how to keep warmth inside of the house, and had found out how to preserve food, I didn’t even need to guide them! They did that all on their own!” 

Ajax laughed and nodded, “That’s awesome! Then how were the rest doing with their people?” 

Guizhong’s gaze softened even more and she let out a chuckle, “Well, Shizun was a mess, and I’m pretty sure he created more chaos amongst his people with his vague predictions. If I hadn’t come in between them and properly expressed what he wanted to say, I’m not sure they would have found out what he really meant. Cloud Retainer was better, but her people were too terrified to accept her help when she offered it. Mountain Shaper was no better either, and had terrified his people as well, and some of them even…ran away. Sky Bracer and my shimei were considerably better at communicating with their people, but still managed to scare them a bit. I only came here after everything was resolved, but I think that I’ll have to go over there in a while,” Guizhong looked noticeably tired all of a sudden, but that fond expression never left. 

Ajax felt bad for her, she must have been all over the place, attempting to build better communication with the adepti and their followers. 

He nodded and gently patted her shoulder, “If jie-jie wants, I could go and help you with the communicating aspect.” 

Guizhong brightened up and nodded, “Yes, that would be great! Thank you.” 

Ajax shook his head and continued to fold his clothes, “It’s no problem, shijie.” 

After a few minutes, they were finally over. 

Ajax sighed as he looked at the neatly folded clothes in the basket, that would have not been possible if it weren’t for Guizhong. So, he couldn’t just give her a simple verbal thanks, and decided to invite her over for tea, “ Shijie, would you like to come over for tea? At least before we are dragged away.” 

Guizhong’s smile brightened all the more and she nodded enthusiastically, “Of course, di-di!” 

______________________________

Ajax welcomed Guizhong inside, and she made her way towards the table. She sat down, while Ajax went into the kitchen, used a match to light the wood on fire, and began boiling some water in a small kettle, which he had found about the kitchen, most likely bought from the market downtown.  

And he made his way towards Guizhong, who was no longer sitting on a chair but was crouched down and looking starry-eyed at the kid, who was still asleep amongst the clothes and in the other woven basket. Ajax almost laughed at the bewildered expression on her face, as if she had never looked at a creature that small before. 

He went over and crouched down along with Guizhong, “Yeah…she just fell asleep here.” 

Guizhong nodded and nearly teared up when the kid started snoring, "Awwww, she’s so adorable!” 

Ajax laughed and got up once more, going to check to see what snacks he could make for Guizhong. After looking through his cabinets, he found the perfect thing! 

Just a couple days prior, he went down the market, and had bought a couple of candies from one of the sellers (although, they were rather frightened of him, when he had bought them; and they even insisted on it being completely free). They were made of condensed milk and just seemed to melt right in your mouth when you ate one. Ajax had not tried such candies before, so he had bought 2 bags of them, and had stored them in one of his cabinets. 

So, he took the small bags out and placed them on the counter. And just as he was about to check on the tea, it started to let out a whistle, so he went and added some sugar extracted from Sweet Flowers and a couple of tea leaves into the water. The hot water quickly took in the tea leaves and sugar, and the end result was a nice light green color. 

He set out 2 small cups and carried the kettle with him. He then placed the kettle down on the table as well as the candies and called out, “Shijie, the tea is done!” 

Guizhong got up gently from the ground and walked over towards the table before sitting down. Ajax poured her a cup of tea, and watched as her face lit up when she noticed the small bag of candies, “Oh! Ajax! These are my favorites!” 

Ajax laughed and poured himself his own cup, before sitting down completely, “Really? I didn’t know, I just bought them because they tasted good.”

Guizhong laughed before going to grab a candy. She unwrapped it and popped it into her mouth. Her expression then fell into that of bliss and her eyes closed. She seemed to be relishing the flavor carefully, as if she wanted to commit it to memory. 

She then grabbed her cup and sipped it carefully, “Mmm, you have really improved, shidi! It tastes wonderful!” 

“I’m glad. I’ve been practicing to make it as good as your skills.” 

Guizhong smiled, “With enough practice, you can!” 

Ajax laughed and then they were shaken up by the sound of rain falling rhythmically on the ceiling of Ajax’s house.

Just like Ajax had expected, it was raining! 

And he momentary let out a small sigh of relief he had retrieved all of his clothes before it had begun to rain again. He did not want to wash them again when the storm finally receded, as it was a pain to do so in the first place. 

Guizhong turned around to gaze out of the window and then so did Ajax. 

Outside was a scene straight out of a painting; the few leaves on the trees caught soft droplets of water that would surely turn to dew in the morning, the sky was a lovely gray color, and the sound of the water hitting everything in its path made for a nice gentle lullaby. 

However, none of them noticed the kid crawl out and walk out of the front door, that was slightly left ajar during the promise of tea and treats. 

______________________________

However, Guizhong realized pretty quickly of the girl’s missing status on the laundry basket, and quickly informed Ajax of this, “She’s gone!” 

Ajax didn’t need to ask who was gone, as he had turned around and seen her missing as well. And then he turned around and noticed his front door cracked slightly open, as well as slight footprints leading out, and wanted to slap himself for his irresponsibility.

They quickly ran out of the house, and followed the trail of footprints, and let out a sigh of relief when they noticed the girl looking dazedly at the sky, catching small droplets of water on her small hands. She had begun to walk! 

Guizhong rushed to the girl's side and smiled, and even though the rain blurred his vision, he swore he could see a light bulb going off in her head, “I got it!!....Ganyu! Your name is Ganyu! Okay, little one!” 

Ganyu just looked up at Guizhong before nodding and returning to catch the cold water in her hands and seeing how it ran down her palms. 

Ajax blinked, before he smiled. So, this is why her name is like that; Sweet Rain, Ganyu. 

Ajax had met Ganyu during contract discussions, during his interrogation about the Osial incident and in Zhongli’s apartment. However, he had never bothered to get to know her, after all, they were merely acquaintances and were just conducting business. However, he did notice the strange gaze she threw at him the first time they had met. 

________________________________

He walked into the Jade Chamber, ready to explain to the Qixing that he was not doing anything nefarious, like they had thought. He totally was, but he had to stay adamant that he wasn’t, in order to throw them off of his scent. Celestia knows how annoying it would be to have Scaramouche or any of even Signora have to bail him out of prison and laugh in his face for his failure. 

And so, he got escorted by Baiwen, Lady Ningguang’s secretary (infamous Ningguang fan club president.....and creep), and got seated in a chair.

But unfortunately for Ajax, Lady Ningguang was running late, so in the meantime he had to wait by himself.  

However, he was not by himself as a blue-haired girl came running in, looking mighty stressed. She settled down and placed the heavy stack of paperwork in her hands onto the desk, and sat herself down at a nearby desk, separate from Ningguang's and not nearly as ostentatiously decorated or furnished. But he bet it was entirely the blue-haired girl's choice to do so, as she did not seem like one to care about such things and merely wanted to get her job over with. 

He vaguely reminded him of Katya in a way, and he winced and reminded himself to send her a gift-basket in order to thank her for her hard work and service. Only his dear Tsaritsa knows how hard she has worked to get him out of trouble and lend him the money necessary to provide enough funds to support Zhongli's habit of buying the most expensive items known to mankind. 

She had subtle eye bags under her eyes and looked pale, a sight he had begun to see with the people of Liyue after Rex Lapis' death.

But he guessed it was obvious. 

If the Tsaritsa would suddenly die, he too would feel sort of down, mostly because he would no longer have someone to support his insane blood lust and because he actually agreed fully with her plan's to bring Celestia down on its knees. And he guessed that the rest of Snezhnaya would also feel down, as they would have nothing else protecting them.

And with the pair of red horns atop of her head, he guessed it was not like any other ordinary Liyuen citizen. She was most likely an adeptus, and was most likely someone very close to Rex Lapis, so he guessed his passing must have affected her more. 

And Childe could not stop the subtle pity that rose in his chest for the woman. 

She turned to look at him, and once her gaze fully situated itself onto Childe, her stressed out expression looked almost stunned, as if she had seen a ghost. 

But, she did not have time to say anything as Lady Ningguang came shortly afterwards, taking her seat on her chair, “Lord Tartaglia, you have made it. I am very sorry for the inconvenience, but was running a bit late. I had some other business to take care of with a certain Captain, I hope you do not mind.” 

Childe smiled, “Not at all, Lady Ningguang. It was not a problem whatsoever.” 

Ningguang cracked a practiced tight-lipped smile and wasted no time before questioning him, “I am sure you do not want your time wasted, and neither do I. So, I will be frank. What were your Fatui soldiers doing near Jueyun Karst?” 

Tartaglia remained stoic as he said, “We were simply going to collect debt from many of the treasure hoarders there. As you know, many of our customers are treasure hoarders, and many of them are stationed in Jueyun Karst, are they not?” 

Ningguang couldn’t deny that, and nodded, “Yes, but it does not explain why you were close to the domains, what could you possibly want near the adepti’s domains?”

Now, he was beginning to slightly freak out. 

He had known Lady Ningguang was notorious for being very clever, witty, informed and intimidating, but he had not anticipated her to be more so than her rumors. 

How could he possibly explain something like that?

And besides he didn’t know how long he could stand the boring eyes of Ganyu as she looked at him, almost as if she was expecting something of him. 

He quieted his momentary panicked thoughts and gave a coy smile, “We were simply paying a honorable visit to their domains, can we not do that?....In Snezhnaya we have heard of their many tales, their strengths and incredible prowess. And so, my soldier's and I decided to give our own offerings before we went and collected the debts. It was nothing else, I can assure you Lady Ningguang.” 

It was all a pile of bullshit, but thankfully Childe had left some offerings with Zhongli a while before, so it couldn’t be ridden off as a lie.

And besides from the way Ganyu walked over and whispered to Lady Ningguang, and the way Ningguang’s face settled down into a small frown. He had been partly successful in his lie.

Ningguang sighed, “Alright then. I believe you, but, if I see your Fatui soldiers around the domains again, I will personally order an investigation on this matter. Is that clear?”

Childe nodded, “Clear as water can be, Lady Ningguang....Now, if you’ll allow me, I will excuse myself.” 

Ningguang nodded and Ganyu’s eyes still bore into him, searching and unclear, “Fine, you are excused.” 

He nodded, got up, and nearly ran out of the doors, and down the Jade Chamber. Missing the way Ganyu's eyes chased after him desperately, as if she wanted him to say something in particular or verify something that was gnawing at her very soul. 

____________________________

When the rain stopped, and dinner strolled by. Guizhong and Ajax went to tell everybody the good news, the girl finally had a name! 

However, since everything was still a bit wet, they decided to have dinner by Morax’s place. So, they went inside of his house and waited patiently for the others. Guizhong had sent them a message through her glaze lilies, and waited to see when it would reach them. 

Since her glaze lilies were prevalent in all of the land, it would only be a matter of seconds before they would get the news. And, it was, since all of the adepti came strolling in one after another. 

Ajax had prepared a meal for all of the adepti, with the help of Guizhong and Madam Ping (who was the first to arrive). Madam Ping was very adept at cooking, and Ajax figured that was partly where Xiangling had learned her skills from, aside from her father. 

She joyfully made the meal, and expertly chopped the many vegetables and meat with impressive ease. It was almost as if Madam Ping was a professional chef from the way she cooked and seasoned the food. If she wasn’t a talented polearm fighter or an adepti, Ajax would have guessed that she was a master chef. And Marchosius even helped, he had condensed his form into a small yellow bear and had lit the fire and helped maintain the right temperature for the meal. 

Cloud Retainer arrived later, in her human form and looked very impatient, however, she still helped chop the vegetables alongside Madam Ping. Mountain Shaper also arrived and was put in charge of warming up the milk for Ganyu. He was also in his human form, and had his dark hair put in a high ponytail, his clothes were fiery-orange and dark brown and he was pretty much the same height as Cloud Retainer.

And after they had all finished the meal, which was composed of a dish their people liked to call: Adeptus’ Temptation, Bamboo Shoot Soup, Almond Tofu, Tianshu Meat, and Lotus Flower Crisps. 

After a few minutes, they had successfully finished all of the dishes, so they plated them and brought out everyone’s individual tableware. They set it out on the large table, and waited for the remainder of the adepti to come. 

Sky Bracer, Moon Carver, and Morax arrived a minute later and joined the others on the table. Then, after eating some delicious food, and giving some almond tofu to Ganyu (who could not eat foods with tough textures yet). Guizhong finally spoke up and announced the child’s name, “I have decided that her name shall be Ganyu!” 

The adepti nodded in approval, it was a fine name. It was a sweet name but it still held a certain power behind it. It was perfect. 

“Ganyu…this one considers it to be a fine name for the little one,” Cloud Retainer said. 

“Yes, I named her after the rascal sneaked out and caught droplets of water in her palms. Isn't it quite a poetic choice?”

Madam Ping chuckled and nodded, “It sure is shimei.” 

Guizhong nodded proudly and settled once more into her seat, before taking a bite out of her own Almond Tofu. And Ajax noticed that she would not really feed herself, but would instead happily feed Ganyu more than anything. He also noticed Morax staring at the both of them fondly and a certain gentle look in his eyes. It was quite the endearing sight, and it made his already blossoming affection for the goddess grow exponentially. 

He couldn’t dislike her no matter what happened. 

He wouldn’t even get offended if she really was romantically involved with Morax. Yes, admittedly it would hurt, and he would cry. However, she was such a sweet individual, that Ajax saw her as the perfect partner for someone like Morax.

She was gentle, spontaneous, creative, smart, witty, kind, and so much more. She was almost the opposite of Morax in every sense of the word. However, they seemed to compliment each other in a way, and brought out the best in each other. Ajax could never compare to someone like that, no matter how hard he tried. But for some reason, even if it stung, and even if he felt his chest tighten and his waters tear up; he knew he could never compare to someone as good as Guizhong. 

He was someone that had been thrown away for most of his life. He had been thrown away from his parents, his master Skirk, the Tsaritsa, and Zhongli. He never even knew if he was ever wanted in this world, was he? 

He didn’t know. And even if he tried his best to forgive Zhongli and open his heart up to the possibility that he might have loved him and still does. It was just not the same. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted anything with Zhongli after doing this for him. He loved the man, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to get together. If he was who he was before the Golden House incident, he would have been overjoyed if Zhongli even looked his way. He would have been blown away if he accepted him into his heart; he would have even pinched himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. But for some reason, he wasn’t sure anymore. 

He didn’t want his heart shattered anymore, he didn’t want to pick up the pieces just for it to be thrown on the floor and stomped on. 

Besides, he didn’t know if he deserved to be with someone as great as Zhongli either. He was an ancient god, an archon even; he had most likely had previous lovers and he was certain he had friends, so why would he bother with someone as insignificant as Ajax? Guizhong was a much better person than Ajax, so why would he steep so low and love someone like him? 

He didn’t know. 

He was snapped out of his thoughts when a hand touched his shoulder, jolting him awake; it was Morax. 

He looked at Ajax, and his honey voice spoke, “Ajax, are you alright? You were caught in a daze for a while.....Guizhong was starting to get concerned.” 

Guizhong sighed, “What he meant is that we were starting to get concerned…Di-di, do you feel alright?” 

Ajax broke into a forced smile before he slapped on Childe, “Of course, I do! It’s a joyous occasion after all, I was just thinking about some other things. Nothing major, don’t worry about me.” 

Morax seemed to be convinced and turned his attention back to his Bamboo Shoot Soup, but Guizhong’s eyes bore into Ajax, as if they were trying to fish out the real reason. Ajax paid her no mind and started to dig into his own food, in an attempt to look unperturbed. 

_________________________

His act must have not been good because Guizhong pulled him aside after dinner, worry evident in her eyes, “Shidi, are you sure you’re alright. You’re looking awfully pale and panicked.” 

Ajax wanted to hide himself once more. Had his acting gotten that bad ever since he had been sent back in time? However, he didn’t give up and continued his act, “I’m okay, jie-jie, I swear! I’m just a little bit tired, that’s all. Don’t worry about me.” 

Guizhong still didn't look convinced but relented and nodded, “If you say so. Just remember that I’m always here if you need to talk, di-di. Alright?” 

Ajax nodded and nearly let out a sigh when she was gone. 

She certainly did not deserve to hear his burning envy of her and Morax’s relationship. Or the fact that he was from the future and was trying his hardest to save his ex-partner’s life, and was getting jealous of Guizhong his dearest friend for being close with him. 

He felt the shame creep up and he sighed once more and opened the door to his house. He went and retrieved his bathrobe, soap, and a towel before he made his way towards the hot springs. 

Ever since winter had come, he didn’t have much time to enjoy a bath in the hot springs (most times he had to resort to bathing himself in the cold rain). And so, he made his showers quick and didn’t have time to savor the way the warm springs relaxed his body. So, now with the rain temporarily gone, he seized the opportunity and made his way to the hot springs outside of his house. 

Since he had moved into his house, he had practically memorized everyone’s bathing schedules (in order to not run into them). Cloud Retainer preferred to bathe in the very early morning as did Madam Ping. Sky Bracer and Moon Carver bathed in the late morning. Mountain Shaper bathed in the early evening. Guizhong bathed in the late evening. Leaving Morax and him to bathe in the night. 

Usually, he would make sure to shower quickly in order to not run into him, but sometimes it was inevitable. This was one of those times; he settled himself in the warm springs and…saw Morax pop out from under the water. 

However, this time instead of just staring at Ajax before continuing onto his own bath, he started to walk over to Ajax. 

He didn’t have any time to back away before his face was in Morax’s warm palms, “You do look paler than usual,” Morax said as he closely inspected Ajax’s face, his own face being mere inches away from Ajax’s. 

Ajax’s face burst into bright red flames, as he realized how close Morax’s face was from his, and he quickly yanked his face away from Morax’s hands, “Ah….It's probably the lack of sun, it is getting colder these past few months after all. The sun seems to not come out as much. Ha…ha..” 

Morax stood still and blinked before he brought his hands down, “Is the lack of sun also adding to your red cheeks?” 

Ajax almost would have believed that Morax was flirting with him, if he wasn’t the perfect picture of innocence and naivety. He probably was just making a hypothesis of why Ajax’s cheeks were red, and it did not have any further meaning. It didn’t mean anything. 

Ajax groaned internally and cursed at Celestia. She had sent him back in time and the same man was torturing him! 

“Probably…I mean, yeah! Yeah, that’s why. I’m probably just cold, is all.” 

Morax blinked again and nodded, his eyes boring into Ajax, “I see, then you should go under the warm water then.” 

Yep! He was probably just unaware, and not smooth. 

Ajax nodded and quickly splashed a bit of water on his cheeks, and now that he actually felt them, he figured that they really were a cold. So, he did this and even put his entire head underwater before he sheepishly looked up to see….Morax still staring at him. He was going to bore holes in Ajax’s skulls if he kept up his intense staring. He was staring at Ajax as if he was the most interesting thing in the room as if he was staring at a beautiful and hypnotic painting; trying his best to figure out the meaning. 

____________________________

Ever since Ajax had piqued his interest, he has not disappointed. 

The red haired anomaly has time and time again proved that his fascinating existence is worth the merit. 

His very existence in this world is precious, if not a treasure. Every single action of his, has left Morax baffled and all the more intrigued. With his shy demeanor, that is surely hiding something more vibrant underneath, like coal before being turned into diamonds. 

If Morax pressed hard enough, would Ajax turn into a dazzling diamond? 

If he shined him enough times, would he? 

He fought with such enthusiasm and vigor that Morax was sure he had found a precious jewel. One more to add to his magnificent collection, if he was greedy enough. Which he was, but the more he spent time watching Ajax, the more he found out that perhaps he couldn’t contain someone so spontaneous. 

He was just like fire, unpredictable, bright, destructive, and bewitching. Morax has never met someone like that before in his lifetime; so he was new. 

And, what surprised him more was the way that although he was still relatively timid, on topics that he felt a clear passion for, he was especially outgoing and loud. He noticeably struggled to use chopsticks, and Guizhong would subtly hand him a spoon for him to use; it would earn a sheepish smile from him. He would bite his lip when he was concentrating on something, the way he would pay close attention to when one of the other adepti were telling their stories, the way his laugh lit up the entire room like sunlight, the way he seemed to lose himself in the wake of battle, the way he would on occasion stare fondly at Morax(when he thought he was not looking), the way he was gentle with the plant-life and mortals, the way he was straightforward and honest: Everything. 

Everything about him down to the tips of his hairs, were something to be fascinated by. Morax was completely and utterly enraptured by the man. 

This only enhanced when he saw the way he gave a short and simple answer to their dilemma, as if it were nothing, “Then don’t. If you do not want to kill her, then you do not have to....You can raise her as one of your own.” 

The way he looked was the face of resolve and determination. He didn’t look like the reserved man he did when he talked in front of the other adepti, he looked certain that his suggestion would be the best. And for the first time in a long time, Morax no longer felt omniscient, he felt inferior to someone so splendid. However, he did not feel bothered by it, and instead felt his own conflicting thoughts come to a halt. 

He had made those rules back when he was an unruly and cruel god, before he met Guizhong. And he had long since mellowed since that time, so his confidence in his rules was slowly dwindling down. 

So, after spending time thinking in his house, he came to a solution; he would do just that. 

After he delivered his decision, everyone seemed to let out a sigh of relief. Many of the adepti didn’t want to admit it but they felt emotions just like everyone else. But, for many of them, their duty was a bigger responsibility than any of their personal feelings. 

The Qilin adeptus they had once considered a close friend had been thought dead, so it was Morax’s surprise when he saw his old friend come to his door, on his last breath, handing him a small child in a small blanket. 

His partner had been killed after she had given birth, and he was dying, so he used his last breath to hand over his child to Morax. It was a strain on Morax’s heart when he saw his friend turn into dust in his palms. But, for some reason he could not cry, or even feel anything but an empty feeling in his hollow chest where a heart should be. 

He took the child in and informed the others. 

They all reacted accordingly and he had placed the child in Sky Bracer’s care while the others delivered about what they should do. 

_______________________________

After they had come up with a solution to the matter, Ajax had become the babysitter to the unnamed child. Since it was already winter, all of the adepti had gone to talk with their followers about how they would get through the harsh conditions. So, none of them had time to take care of the child, except for Ajax. 

Who gladly accepted his task with grace and poise. He just smiled when Guizhong asked him, “Of course, jie-jie! I’m used to taking care of kids, after all back home I have quite the big family. And since I am older, I am always taking care of my younger siblings!” 

Morax had not been made aware of this and wanted to ask him more questions on his mysterious home life, but refrained when he saw the subtle glassy eyes at the mention of his siblings. Being away from home must hurt him, so he backed off. He might be very unaware of other’s feelings but even he could catch on to something like that, Guizhong had taught him that after all. 

And so, whenever Morax would pass by his house, he would see through the windows a very busy Ajax trying his best to balance out his own needs with the childs. He looked like he could use some help, but since the rest of the adepti were busy, they could sadly not help. And it wasn’t like they were very knowledgeable about humans either. Although the child was half Qilin, they were still not sure how to raise a child nevertheless. 

____________________________

Guizhong had named the child after going to visit Ajax. And had joyously invited the rest of the adepti through her lovely glaze lilies. 

He had been present when she had first made them. She wanted a way to be able to communicate with others, and even developed a way to record songs and short messages through the flowers. He had been equally mesmerized when he saw the gorgeous blue and white flowers with a yellow center. She had made a small flower crown of them and had laid it on Morax’s head, laughing slightly when she noticed his attempts to yank it off, “Morax! It’s not supposed to be taken off! Keep it on, c'mon’ it looks pretty!~” 

Morax huffed and stopped his attempts to take off the nuisance from his head, and kept it on, “...Fine.” 

Guizhong laughed happily and laid down on the clear meadow, her flowers surrounding her, creating a gorgeous picture-like scene; she was dressed in blue and white, with small silver detailing on her chest area, depticing a large crane and a lake. 

She closed her eyes and breathed in, “Isn’t it great, Morax! We finally have our beloved people coming up with brilliant ideas! Isn’t mankind the greatest!” 

Morax just nodded, “Mn.” 

Guizhong let out a small laugh before sitting up and picking some flowers and making more flower crowns, with gentle ease. Morax felt a warm feeling come over him; was this what family felt like? 

_____________________________

Now, Guizhong nearly came apart with excitement as she told everyone what the child’s name was, “I have decided that her name shall be Ganyu!” 

It was a fine name, and undoubtedly fitting for the half-human, half-Qilin girl with pale-blue hair. 

The other adepti seemed to agree as they all nodded and let out their own individual comments on the name.

Morax felt the same warm feeling as before and clenched his chest; he guessed it really was how home felt like. He looked fondly as Guizhong fed Ganyu, how Ajax struggled with his chopsticks, how Cloud Retainer and Mountain Shaper talked and laughed, how Sky Bracer allowed Ganyu to grab at his horns, how Marchosius and Madam Ping bonded over food, how Moon Carver helped himself to the meal until his bowl became a mountain of food, and how warm the atmosphere was. It was just like how many of the books from mortals that he had read, they all depicted a warm feeling when being surrounded by loved ones, he guessed that this was that. 

However once he looked back at the most dazzling jewel of them all; he looked quite off. His demeanor was always quite quiet, unless he was talking with someone. He was staring off into oblivion, and he looked somber, as if he was recalling a bitter memory.

He continued to look like that, as everyone around him cheered and celebrated. It was off and he wanted to know why he was like that. Why did he have such a sad expression on his face, if it was a celebration? 

Guizhong also noticed this and gestured towards Ajax to Morax, before coming close and whispering, “Shizun…does Ajax look a little off to you too? What if it was my fault!...Is he sick? I knew I should have prevented him from staying outside in the rain for too long!” 

Guizhong looked panicked, and had a large frown on her face. She was worried about Ajax, but was a bit hesitant to ask why. Perhaps out of fear that she had upset him or had been the cause of his upset mood. 

He sighed and decided to ask for her. So he turned towards Ajax and tapped him on the shoulder, “Ajax, are you alright? You were caught in a daze for a while, Guizhong was starting to get concerned.” 

Ajax seemed to snap back into reality and his eyes seemed to widen; like a wild animal. He had not noticed himself that he was spacing off. But he didn’t have time to say anything before Guizhong cut in and said, “What he meant is that we were starting to get concerned…Di-di, do you feel alright?” 

Ajax forced a wide smile on his face, and it hurt to look at before he said, “Of course, I do! It’s a joyous occasion after all, I was just thinking about some other things. Nothing major, don’t worry about me.” 

Morax felt the urge to figure out what was wrong surge into him like a powerful wave. Someone he had considered to be a treasure was hurting and attempting to foolishly hide it. He wanted to pry him open and shake him until he said what was wrong. But, he restrained himself, he couldn’t allow his instincts to take over him. Even if they screamed loudly in his ears, like a powerful spell, he couldn’t let go of the little humanity he desperately clung on to. So, he dug his sharp nails into his palms, and felt the slight sting of warm blood dripping down his hands. And continued to eat his soup, and tried his best to look calm. 

Guizhong noticed this and calmly put her palm on his clenched fist, in a short prayer to ‘calm down’. 

He did and continued to eat his soup; looking over at the forced smile that overcame Ajax’s face for the remainder of the evening. 

_________________________

He met Ajax again, when he encountered him in the hot springs. 

He was enjoying his daily soak in the hot springs, when he felt a slight disturbance in the waters. So, he looked up and was delighted to see Ajax staring back at him. 

However, he still had that bitter expression on his face, and he was strangely pale. Now, it wasn’t like Ajax was not naturally pale, in fact he was paler than everybody else. But for some reason, that he was just realizing now, he was paler than usual. 

Was he really sick as Guizhong had predicted, or was it really something else?  

He could not stop himself as he cupped Ajax’s face and inspected him, “You do look paler than usual.” 

Ajax went still, before his cheeks burst into bright red flames. He grabbed Morax’s hands and yanked them away, “Ah….It's probably the lack of sun, it is getting colder these past few months after all. The sun seems to not come out as much. Ha…ha..” 

Morax was taken aback by this, before he said, “Is the lack of sun also adding to your red cheeks?” 

He saw Ajax grow even more flustered, and he could have sworn that even his shoulders seemed to turn bright red (but perhaps that was merely the hot water?), “Probably…I mean, yeah! Yeah, that’s why. I’m probably just cold, is all.”

Morax could see how panicked he was and decided for a more clear answer, “I see, then you should go under the warm water then.” 

Ajax nodded and splashed water on his cheeks. Before he fully went underwater, only the tops of his horns visible through the clear blue waters. Over the past few weeks, his horns had grown longer but their color never seemed to fade out (like they usually did). Instead, they only became all the more radiant and opalescent. They were gorgeous, and only seemed to create a stunning effect on the waters, as they created small waves of colors on the waters beneath. 

And when he came up from the water, his hair framed his face all the while, and instead of flaming embers it seemed like a darker red, almost like the same shade of red eyeliner he put on each morning. It made something inside of him stir, and he could not tear his eyes off of him. 

And for the first time in his life, he felt the hollow space in his chest thump. 

Chapter Text

Ajax watched as Morax continued to stare at him with a new intensity he had not noticed before. However, before he could blink, Morax had gone underwater and had immediately rushed out of the water….? 

Ajax stood still in the water, wondering what the hell happened? 

Morax almost looked the slightest bit bashful, his eyes were wide, and he put a hand over his heart.

What happened? 

Ajax was confused at what had transpired and wanted to find out what had occurred; however, his curiosity was outweighed by his tired body and his embarrassment. 

So, he shook off the strange encounter and decided to enjoy the rest of the shower as best as he could. 

___________________________________

That was until it started to pour down, as if the sky itself was crying tears. It was such a heavy downpour that Ajax had to abandon his comfortable spot in the warm water and rush into his house. 

He quickly moved to strip off his robe…..that was until he stopped when he noticed a certain god staring at him…..Morax? 

What the heck was he doing in his house? 

Ajax hastily put on the robe, although since it had rained, it didn’t give him much privacy. It was a white robe, and it stuck onto his pale skin like glue to paper. The skin-tight robe did not leave anything short of the imagination, however with a similarly soaked god…it pushed that concern out of his mind, and replaced it with the same question. 

“What....are you doing in my house?” Ajax asked, his cheeks flaring up. 

Morax blinked slowly before he said, “I do not like the rain, so I came here for shelter.....I did not mean to intrude so abruptly.....If it makes you uncomfortable, I can leave.” 

The god looked hesitant, a new look on him that Ajax had previously not seen. During all of his interactions with the god, he had never seen him look hesitant before. It was certainly something. 

Ajax tried to brush off the quickening of his heartbeat as he moved towards his own room; trying his best to sound and look nonchalant, “It’s…fine. I don’t mind.” 

“Thank you, Ajax. I will make sure not to intrude,” his honey voice dripped with pure sincerity and it almost made Ajax weak to his knees. 

That was another one of his weaknesses with Zhongli, the fact that his voice sounded so good to the ears. It sounded as if he was uttering sweet nothings in that honey baritone voice of his whenever he would open his mouth. It was nearly enough to bring Ajax to his knees (it was actually one of the reasons he could not say ‘no’ to the man, whenever he found another interesting artifact and bought it). The way he pronounced each syllable sounded so irresistible and too alluring; like a siren’s call. It drew Ajax in and made him forget what his name was on many occasions. 

So, he tried his best to keep on walking towards his room, without looking as if he was about to fall down. He waved a nonchalant hand, “You’re welcome, Shizun. ” 

Morax didn’t say anything and Ajax only heard a small thump of the god presumably settling himself nicely on the sofa. Thankfully, Ajax had put on a few covers over the sofas, so they would not soak wet when Ganyu came from playing outside in the rain. 

He locked the door to his room, and pulled out a few comfortable night clothes from his drawer and slipped them on. He grabbed another towel, dried his hair with it before he wrapped it around his neck. He unlocked the door, put on his slippers and headed to the living room. 

However, he paused his steps. 

He had to do something about Morax first, if he did not want to clean his floors later. So, he grabbed another towel, extra clothes, and walked into the living room. 

Morax was sitting obediently on the sofa and was currently just looking aimlessly out of a window. His long dark hair that glowed at the tips, was soaking wet and…that’s when he realized something else…..he was not wearing any clothes! 

Ajax had not noticed this, and had somehow neglected to see the lack of clothes on the archon. He had gotten the extra pair of clothes to get Morax to change out of his wet ones….but now it seems that wasn’t the case at all. 

He sighed in mortification before he covered his eyes and stretched out his hand with the items, “Take. Them.” 

Morax turned to look at him, and grabbed the items from his hand, and Ajax tried to ignore the way his hand brushed against his own. 

However, just as he thought it was over, Morax grabbed at him once more and yanked the hand that was covering his face. 

He grabbed at Ajax’s face once more and stared intensely into his eyes, “You seem to be red again, is that normal?” 

Ajax wanted to scream and he felt his already blushing face heat up even more, “Um….ye-yeah…it is.” 

Morax hummed and continued to inspect his face with his hands, “I see…how fascinating. Guizhong has mentioned to me that humans do this when feeling great embarrassment. Is that true?” 

Ajax felt his mortification and shame creep slowly up his spine, “Ye..ah..” 

Morax nodded and finally let go of his face, “How interesting.” 

Ajax quickly scrambled towards the kitchen, “Yeah…just…go change…And I’ll…make some tea.”

“Mn.” 

_______________________________________

After getting over his embarrassment, Ajax quickly went to do as he had promised. He had said that to get out of that situation, however, now the prospect of tea was sounding quite good. So, he grabbed the tea leaves, grabbed some water (he had retrieved some from the well earlier), grabbed the kettle, and quickly lit the fire. He poured the water and placed it on the stove, as well as the tea leaves. 

After that, he grabbed a bit of sugar extracted from Sweet Flowers and threw it into the kettle. 

He sighed and grabbed at his face; this was just his luck! 

He was stuck with Morax (of all adepti) until the rain stopped….which looked like it would never. He glanced at his window and felt his frown grow twice its size as he saw the dark gray sky darken and the rain pour down. It looked like it would never stop. And said adepti was his lover in a different time period, who had lied to him and was currently on his deathbed. And to make the situation way worse, his lover in this time period was not only a block-head but was also extremely unaware of proper decency and very socially unaware. 

The damn man thought it was ok to prance around in his human form in Ajax’s house while being starch naked…what the hell! 

Ajax had seen everything ; the sharp curve of his collarbones, his perfectly structured abdomen, the sharp v-line of his hips, the way his hair fell down messily over it all, the way his arms looked as if they were able to crush the very stone he made, his…

He calmed down his racing thoughts and yanked the two cups he had already set out and poured the tea into them, making sure to add a generous amount. He was going to wait until the kettle whined, however, knowing Morax and his cat tongue; it was probably best to serve it warm. So, he set the pot down, grabbed the cups and prayed that the adepti had already changed his clothes. 

He went towards the living room, and sighed in relief when he noticed that the god had indeed kept his word and changed. 

Morax lifted his gaze from the ground and looked up towards Ajax, “Ajax, you have come.” 

Ajax blinked, “Yeah…uhh, here’s your tea. I hope Shizun likes it.” 

He placed it down onto the coffee table and watched as Morax nodded and grabbed the small tea cup and placed it on his chapped lips before he took a small sip. After he took the sip, he visibly relaxed and comfortably relaxed into his chair. 

Ajax chuckled lightly. Even if this was Zhongli from years ago, he was still the same in his mannerisms. Whenever Zhongli liked something, he would instantly relax and let his body go slack into the chair or couch. He did this with food often, however he did it with other things as well. Such as, when someone gave him a gift he liked, or when someone combed his hair……

He gazed down at Morax as he took sip after sip of the tea, his hair still spilling messily down his shoulders and back.His eyeliner was messed up from the rain, but it only added to his allure, as well as the gentle curve of his nose, his prominent cheekbones, his golden cor lapis horns that adorned his head…A deep affection sprung up to the fore-front and Ajax felt it bubble up to the top. It was a dizzying feeling and Ajax felt too enraptured in the man, he felt too much for him. It was as if he was breathing in water; suffocating. 

Ajax did not know when, but somehow his hand had unconsciously reached over to Morax. His hand dipped towards his head and gently laid it down between his horns. Morax instinctively stiffened before he yanked his hand from his head, which caused Ajax to yelp from surprise. Morax lifted his head and his eyes were something he had never seen before; feral. They looked predatory and something deep in Ajax’s gut was screaming at him to get away.

He attempted to yank his hand away from Morax, to no avail. Morax’s gaze was still sharp and his pupils were still slits, so he decided to try something else, “....Um…I' sorry…I shouldn’t have done that..” 

Morax’s gaze focused again, and he immediately let go of Ajax’s hand as if he was burned, “It is…fine.” 

Ajax gulped and saw as Morax’s gaze burned deeper into him, “I’m gonna go ummm get some sleep now..” 

Morax nodded and his gaze still burned deeply into Ajax, his skin felt hot. Morax’s gaze raked him up and down, the same predatory gaze was still there; it was like he was assessing potential prey. He looked hungrier than any person Ajax had ever seen before in his life, his eyes were turning into slits again, and something in them screamed danger. 

Ajax felt his spine tingle and his legs wobble slightly as an inexplicable heat washed over him…this was definitely not good. Before anything else could happen, Ajax quickly turned around and walked over to his room, shutting it tight behind him. 

What the fuck was that?!

_______________________________

Thankfully, when Ajax woke up and walked towards the kitchen; the man was nowhere to be found. 

Ajax sighed once more and picked up the small tea cup placed on the coffee table, as well as the clothes that Morax had borrowed; which were sprawled all over the couch carelessly. 

He guessed some things about Zhongli really were different. He would never leave Ajax’s house without putting everything away neatly, especially borrowed clothes. Zhongli would always organize everything and would make sure to make it look exactly as it did before. He even carried that same need for neatness towards the way he dressed himself (which he guessed was a thing even before he became known as Zhongli. Judging from the way he had organized Ajax’s clothes). His clothes had not a single wrinkle, not a single smudge, stain or anything out of place. 

So, he picked up the clothes and began to fold them. However, he stopped midway when he noticed the very familiar smell of silk flowers and sandalwood permeating them. 

It was the very same smell that current Zhongli always wore. It was his signature smell, ah, did he naturally give off that smell? 

Ajax cracked a small smile at that fact and gently brought the fabric to his nose, and let the calming smell cool off his nerves. Zhongli always smelled like home, like warm mornings in soft blankets, laughter, and nostalgia. On days when Ajax was particularly stressed out, he would inhale Zhongli’s smell like a dying man as soon as he came close to the man on particularly stressed days whenever they would embrace. 

Oh, and his embraces were everything Ajax had ever wished for. They were soft and warm, gentle yet heavy on his chest; he got to feel the nice feeling of someone against him. It was a nice feeling, one that Ajax did not get much as his loyal servitude to the Tsaritsa prevented him from getting any sort of physical affection that was deemed intimate in his line of work. 

In fact, the closest he got to anything like that was a quick fuck in a back alley or a nice hotel room with a random stranger or those few in between hugs with his comrades. He never got anything remotely intimate and domestic with anyone; until Zhongli came around. 

He was almost too easy to wrap his arms around, too easy to share meaningful stares and subtle touches.

It felt as easy as fighting; it came natural to the both of them. 

It was almost too much when he was yanked away from the constant touches, especially when he was met with Morax. He was Zhongli, but he did not look at Ajax with the same reverence as Zhongli did. 

And not to say that he didn’t, but it was mostly out of curiosity; he could tell by his gaze. 

It wasn’t the same, it would not be the same. 

He had to get back to his time as soon as possible. 

__________________________________

He was called for dinner a while later, and it was at Cloud Retainer’s house; which was not a surprise. 

They had all agreed to meet in Cloud Retainer’s house that day so, Ajax dressed up yet another garment from Guizhong with a nice top coat on. 

This time, Guizhong had given him a yichang with red and black with small golden embroidered silk flowers on the sleeves; which was styled a bit different from his other clothing. Instead of being cut short in the front, the fabric cascaded downwards and formed a nice skirt. And instead of the sleeves being tight on his arms they were instead billowing and loose. 

He put on the undergarments before he put on each piece of clothing on top, starting with the top and then moving onto the skirt which he wrapped around his waist before he sealed it with a nice belt. And finally to top it all off, he put on his top coat, which was very cozy and the fabric felt pleasant to the touch. 

Guizhong really was a saint! 

Ajax had seen her working the poor seamstresses out with idea after idea for her beloved shidi. He snorted out a laugh when he imagined an over-eager Guizhong saying idea after idea to her seamstresses who just-as-eagerly wrote everything she was saying and started on outfit after outfit. 

She really was going to work those poor people to the bone with her million ideas for new outfits for him. 

He really was fond of her. 

Which almost hurt to think about when he saw how much she was starting to mean to him. He had started to see her as a friend, someone that he could say anything to, a mentor. So, the idea that she was going to eventually die….was something he didn’t want to think about. 

She was just starting to mean something else to him, rather than just a distant god from centuries ago. 

In fact, just remembering the fact that he had mindlessly with half-interest skimmed through her death without so much as a second glance. The fact that he did not care about how her death affected everything and everyone around her, scared him now. 

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair; a thing he had done as a kid in order to calm his nerves down, which was one of the only things he had retained after he had gone in the Abyss. 

There was no use thinking about that now, he still had time. 

Too much time. 

He could still fix things, he could make everything right. For now, everything was fine and he had dinner to attend too. 

He had only been in Cloud Retainer’s domain 2 times (this time being his 2nd). And, it was a pain in the ass to get to. 

The many steps he had to walk up to were painful on his poor, poor legs. 

He almost wanted to kiss the person who had made the elevator in his era, because those things came in handy so much! 

He groaned but continued his way up the staircase and continued his way up Mt. Aozang on those glowy rock things. Even if they floated up to the mountain, you still had to manually climb them. 

_________________________

After a while of scaling the steps, he had finally made it to the Cloud Retainer’s domain. 

The sun was already out, but the moonlight reflected onto the waters below created a nice dance of light on the water ripples of the lake. However, even if it was dark out, small lanterns were lit around them creating nice orange and yellow beads of light. And without so much as a surprise, they were all gathered around the table, which only added to the nice warm atmosphere. 

He barely walked a few steps before they all turned around to face him; however, instead of the usual mixed expressions, they all seemed to have a very similar expression on their faces. 

If Ajax wasn’t wrong….was that concern? 

What the hell had happened? What was wrong? 

He continued his steps towards the table and paused at the table before he yanked his chair and took a seat. 

Guizhong looked at him with a worried expression and it mirrored the one she had worn last time, “Ah, shidi. You’re finally here. Um…” 

She looked around the table and simultaneously everyone looked towards the floor as her gaze passed by them, almost as if they desperately did not want to talk. 

Her gaze finally landed on Morax and he too looked like he didn’t want to talk, however he relented as her gaze was quite sharp, “Ajax, how are you feeling?” 

How was he feeling? 

Ok, that was weird. What the hell did they mean? 

Ajax chuckled lightly, before he looked incredulously at them, “I feel fine. Why do you ask, Shizun?” 

Morax’s eyes finally made eye contact with Ajax, and archon’s above his gaze was intense. It was as if he was waging a war inside of his gaze; it made Ajax’s spine shiver. 

After a few seconds, he broke it off and gestured towards Guizhong who cleared out her throat, “Ah, well, A-Yu has contracted some sort of disease and we do not know if it's contagious or not.” 

Morax nodded and continued on, “Ajax, while you are a newly formed adeptus, that does not mean that you have the same immunity to human diseases as we do. You were once a human, and partially are so, we all are wondering if you have been feeling well these past couple of days.”  

Ajax shook his head; his own concern spiked up, “No, I feel fine….What happened to her? What are her symptoms?” 

This time it was Cloud Retainer who barged in, “The little one has been coughing non stop. Her forehead is burning up and she also has been producing a lot of snot…As a result, one's carpets are ruined as well as one's blankets.” Cloud Retainer winced as she seemed to recall her ruined sheets, before she continued on, “For now, we have called a human doctor to help out, however, he seems to be an utterly useless mortal. No matter what medicine the mortal gave her, her condition stays the same.” 

Ajax nodded and started to think about possible illnesses……..AH!

Right! He had almost forgotten! 

It was the time of year where people usually contracted common colds; the weather just made people that way! 

And the realization that all of the adepti were so panicked about what to do about a common cold, somehow made Ajax want to burst out into laughter. What a ridiculous story! 

A bunch of adepti that have lived hundreds of years were panicking because a half human child was sneezing and coughing her poor lungs out. All the poor child needed was some cold pads to her forehead and some chicken soup! 

Ajax finally could not prevent his laughter from escaping his lips and he leaned in his chair; it was probably the most absurd thing he had ever heard of! 

The other adepti freezed in their seats and seemed to have conflicting expressions on their faces. 

Mountain Shaper surprisingly spoke up, “What are you laughing at?” 

Ajax giggled and wiped the tears of joy that left his eyes and he sighed before he said, “Ah…..well it seems like there’s umm…nothing to worry about…. pfft-” 

He burst into laughter as he saw the confused face of Morax; his eyes were slightly widened as were his lips and his eyebrows were raised up. He looked too cute to handle, but somehow that made the situation funnier. 

He finally stopped after a while and started up again, “It's fine. It really is, I know how to fix it, don’t worry.” 

That seemed to calm the adepti enough for them to settle down more comfortably in their seats. It even caused Guizhong to turn towards Ajax; her energies revitalized, “What is it shidi? Is this some sort of weird disease only in your home-country?” 

Ah, so he guessed that a common cold perhaps wasn’t so common in Liyue; which surprised him. But perhaps that had to do with the warm weather and the short winters, that or their doctor did not know anything about human biology. 

Snezhnaya was always cold, even in summer. So, a common cold was not a foreign sight, in fact it was the most welcomed illness. Compared to frostbite or hypothermia, a common cold was a relief; Childe knew how relieved he was whenever he would get those instead of something serious. 

However, his people had already adapted to the cold and thus had figured out things that helped efficiently combat it; rest, soup, a cold cloth to the forehead, and cough medicine, if needed. 

He turned towards Guizhong and smiled warmly to her, “It is called a ‘common cold’ back in my homeland. And you are correct, these are really common back there.” 

Guizhong’s eyes lit up at the new piece of information, likely storing it in one of the many files she kept back in her house about the human world. Sometimes, Ajax swore she was more of an over-enthusiastic scholar than a goddess..

“I see! So then, how do we help A-Yu with her common cold?”

“Leave that up to me shijie….Now, where is she?” 

“She’s currently in Sky Bracer’s care.” 

_____________________________

And that was where he found himself, alongside Morax and Guizhong…

After dinner; which consisted of delicious Bamboo Shoot Soup and some other tasty delicacies, Ajax bid everyone goodnight and went towards the direction of Sky Bracer’s domain. 

While his domain was not far off, it was still quite the hassle to get to. So, he stretched his legs out before he went down the long stairs of Mt. Aozang. 

After a few steps down, he was stopped by the sound of Guizhong calling out to him, “Shidi! Wait for me!” 

He turned around to find Guizhong with Morax at her side (which inexplicably caused something inside of Ajax to twinge with discomfort). 

However, he pushed that unpleasant feeling away and nodded. 

He stood still on the step as he watched Guizhong make her way towards him. Once they were close enough he asked, “Is there something you wanted to discuss with me?” 

Guizhong shook her head, “No, we just came to help you! Right, Shizun? ” 

Morax had his poker face on like ever, but nodded, “Mn.” 

Ah, he couldn’t say no to these two. Ajax chuckled softly before he nodded, “Alright then, Let’s go.” 

And here he was, caught taking care of a half-human half-Qilin child alongside 2 divine beings. 

Chapter Text

Luckily for him, A-Yu was already asleep by the time they arrived at Sky Bracer’s residence. 

Ajax awkwardly knocked on the entrance guarded by Adeptal magic, earning a curious look from Guizhong and Morax. 

He paused and waited for an answer, but when it didn’t come, he reached up to knock once more. However, just as he reached up, a voice sounded out, “What is your reason for arrival?”

Ajax paused before he awkwardly said, “Umm…we-I’m here to help A-Yu…it’s umm Ajax.” 

The barrier quickly came undone, leaving only small golden particles floating away; That was the cool part about Adeptal magic, it looked absolutely other-worldly. It was quite the contrast from the usual dark purple abyssal taint he was used to seeing from the Rifthounds or even himself. It was oddly comforting as it was mesmerizing. 

They walked in and were met with the sight of Sky Bracer in his mortal form. Ajax had never seen him before in his mortal form, but he was quite the spectacle….

His hair was a strange blue color that moved as he walked like water ripples (it was let down and it settled past his shoulders). His horns were still present on his hair and were a soft yellow color. His expression was nice and friendly; his lips were curled into a small smile, only adding to how incredibly gentle he already looked. His eyes were also a nice yellow color, but instead of looking as piercing as Xiao’s or as molten like Morax’s, they looked like a warm sunset. And around them, was a golden shade of yellow eyeliner around them. His features were nice and sharp, and yet he did not look at all intimidating; a contrast to how Morax looked.

Morax always looked intimidating even if he was smiling. 

His outfit was a gorgeous dark blue yichang, with a white long fur coat on top. On the chest and near the hip there was a pattern of clouds and several geometric shapes embroidered on it with yellow string. 

He looked ethereal, but Ajax guessed that’s how every Adepti looked out in their mortal form (judging from how Morax, Guizhong, and Cloud Retainer looked). 

Sky Bracer's gaze landed his guests and immediately greeted them with a bow, “Ah, Shizun, Shijie, I didn’t know you were there as well. Good evening.” 

Guizhong chuckled before she dismissed him with a wave of her hand, “No need Sky Bracer, it’s quite alright. We were just here to check on the little one, no need for formalities. But, good evening to you too.” 

Sky Bracer’s handsome features cracked a smile and Ajax felt his heartbeat quicken (he always did have a weak spot for pretty faces), “I see, but even so, please allow me to serve you all tea.” 

Guizhong sighed, “Didn’t I tell you to drop the formalities! Celestia above!” 

Sky Bracer chuckled, the deep sound causing Ajax to shiver, “My apologies, I believe it is a force of habit. So, on another topic then, do you know what has been tormenting the little one? Shidi had mentioned that he was here to help.” 

Ajax felt the blush creep up his cheeks, as warmth crept over him. Sky Bracer looked gorgeous as a grin took over his handsome features, showing his top teeth and pair of sharp teeth, he looked utterly irresistible; Ajax felt flustered. 

Sky Bracer had reminded him of Zhongli….and well….he couldn’t help but be charmed at his gentle manner. Especially his laugh, it was a very warm thing, kind of how Zhongli’s was. It was warm and deep and it made Ajax’s heart flutter in his chest. 

Sky Bracer’s voice also had the same timbre and depth that Zhongli's voice had. And a part of Ajax wondered if Zhongli had been the one to take after Sky Bracer or if it had been the other way around. 

Guizhong brightened at that, and she hurriedly wrapped an arm around Ajax, “Yes! Our precious shidi has found what ails our poor A-Yu! Isn’t he the most precious thing ever!” Guizhong said while squishing Ajax’s cheeks in the very same manner his Mama used when he was a young child. 

Sky Bracer chuckled and Ajax flushed in embarrassment this time, “Yes, he certainly is something special,” he reached out and ruffled Ajax’s hair, slightly playing along with his curls.  

Ajax’s blush grew, and so did his embarrassment. It was like when he made a fool out of himself around Zhongli (when he didn't know how to use chopsticks) and ended up flicking a dumpling right at Zhongli’s face all over again. 

He groaned and hid his face in the palms of his hands, “I…really.....didn’t…do…much..” 

Guizhong laughed and started to ruffle his head as well, “Sure you did! You help us out a lot! If you weren’t around, we would never be able to find out what was wrong with A-Yu!” 

She laughed, before she unwrapped her arm around him and started to play with his hair even more. Sky Bracer was amused by the sight and was tempted to feel the soft curls in his own hands, but when he reached up to tussle his hair again, he was stopped. 

By Morax, who stared daggers at Sky Bracer, “Stop touching him, he is embarrassed,” and he quickly turned towards Guizhong, “You as well.” 

Sky Bracer retreated his hand, “Ah, I apologize, I seem to have gone too far. I didn’t mean for him to feel embarrassed.” 

Guizhong’s smile faltered and she laughed lightly (something done out of awkwardness then amusement), “Ah! My apologies shidi, I didn’t mean to embarrass you or cause you any discomfort.” 

Ajax stopped covering his face, and looked up, startled by the sudden change in atmosphere. Instead of the light-hearted mood it had been before, it was awkward and tense so much that Ajax wanted to leave. Instead, he just chuckled and waved his hand dismissively, “It’s fine, I was just a bit overwhelmed…” 

Ajax was thankful to get the overbearing attention off of him, however he was surprised that Morax had been the one to stop it all. He didn’t expect someone so unaware to actually be conscious of Ajax’s discomfort. But even so, he wanted to make the tense air Morax had created go away. 

An awkward minute passed before Sky Bracer coughed and said, “So, what has been ailing A-Yu.”  

Ajax nearly sighed in relief when Sky Bracer finally spoke up, “She has what is called a ‘common cold’ back in my home land. It's something that can be treated pretty easily and based on the symptoms she has presented it seems to most likely be a common cold." 

Sky Bracer nodded and smiled but it looked rather nervous, “I see. So, what do we do to help her with her ‘common cold’?” 

“I’ll have a look at her first and then I’ll decide what is best,” Ajax replied. 

Depending on how far along her fever was, he could use several methods to lower her fever down. If it was too severe he was going to have to make her some medicine from the medicinal herbs he knew worked with colds, or if it was not as bad he could just put some cold wet towels on her forehead and have her eat some of his famous vegetable soup! 

Normally, he made chicken and vegetable soup.

However, he knew that Ganyu was not particularly fond of meat, so he altered his recipe, knowing it was going to taste just as good regardless. 

He stood still for a while before he nearly slapped himself; he had not asked where she was. 

“Ah, Da-ge…where is she?” 

Sky Bracer seemed to come to the realization that he hadn’t told him where she was and chuckled a bit, “Oh, she’s on the towels over there,” he pointed towards a corner.

Ajax followed the direction of his finger and saw a small bundle on the towels. 

He moved closer towards the towels and saw A-Yu asleep on the pile of towels, her breathing was shallow. Ajax immediately rushed to her side and touched her forehead with the back of his palm; she was burning up as expected. 

He sighed, turning over to Sky Bracer, “Ah, Da-ge, would you please go and fetch me some water from the well.” 

He nodded, cracking a genuine smile this time (causing Ajax's heart to hammer in his chest), “Alright,” and exited his domain. 

Sky Bracer’s domain was a bit more normal than some of the other adepti. His domain resembled a normal human home, with books aligning the walls, furniture, a carpet, and many of the other amenities that people usually had in their houses. He was one of the only adepti (apart from Guizhong herself), who were fascinated enough by mortals to model their own domains after their inventions. And besides that, he was also gentler than most adepti, and seemed to genuinely enjoy being in the presence of mortals. 

The rest of the adepti looked forced to mingle with them, and Ajax could tell from the look on their faces that they hated talking with them for too long. Celestia knows that Cloud Retainer and Mountain Shaper looked like they wanted to pluck their people’s eyes out with their beaks anytime they talked with them. 

Guizhong had been talking with them about attempting to smile in order to not make the mortals run away whenever they saw the huge scowl on all of their faces. Ajax chuckled at the memory of Guizhong reprimanding the group of adepti after they had been particularly standoffish with the mortals. 

He carefully picked A-Yu up in his arms before he tucked her into the blanket on the couch, making sure to not wake her up. He turned towards Guizhong before, “Shijie, can you please go and start washing some cabbage, carrots, squash, and some rice?” 

Guizhong nodded and dragged Morax along with her, “Alright, we’ll get on that shidi!” 

Ajax chuckled at the bewildered face on Morax as he was dragged away by Guizhong. Even if they had spent years together, Morax still seemed to be taken aback by her antics.

It was an amusing prospect. 

Ajax chuckled and went towards what he hoped was the kitchen. He opened the door, and was met with a very extravagant looking kitchen. It had a large pot off to the side; the kind where you had to add wood and lit it on fire on the bottom in order to cook anything. Next to it were several shelves filled with several ingredients and what appeared to be spices. Ajax was surprised to see that Sky Bracer had a large variety of species and ingredients in his kitchen. Ajax had expected there to be only salt and a couple of other ingredients, but he was pleasantly surprised nonetheless. It appeared that Sky Bracer liked cooking enough for him to have that huge variety at his disposal. 

He went and retrieved the matches that were on one of the kitchen’s counters and got to lighting the fire on the wood that was already slipped inside below the pot.

He didn’t need to wait a moment longer when Sky Bracer opened the door; he had a bucket of water in his other hand. His sleeves were rolled up and slightly dirty, he was slightly sweating, his long blue hair was tied up in a firm high bun, slight messy bangs carefully adorned the side's of his face, yellow eyeliner was dripping slightly from its place on his eyes, his lips were a bright cherry red color, and were slightly parted as he caught his breath….Ajax nearly fainted. 

Why did Celestia create such attractive beings!?

Ajax swore he was going to go up there one day and demand to know why she had made them all extremely attractive (even though he knew they made their own forms but still). 

However, for now, there was no use contemplating the adepti’s beauty. So, instead he helped Sky Bracer place the bucket on the counter and with his help they poured two different portions. One was going to be for A-Yu’s forehead and the other was going to be for her soup. 

Sky Bracer’s gaze never left him, even as they were pouring the water; Ajax started to feel as if he had something on his face. Perhaps a speck of dirt had stained his cheek or something. So, he rubbed at his cheeks with his sleeves, but Sky Bracer’s gaze never left him. 

After they were done, Sky Bracer’s gaze was still burning into him, so he finally blurted out, “.....Do I have something on my face?” 

Sky Bracer’s eyes slightly widened, as if he was not expecting Ajax to say anything before he cracked a smile, “No, I’m just intrigued by your looks. Even if we have spent quite a few days together, I still find myself quite fascinated, all over again.” 

Ajax nodded, his cheeks flaring up again from the embarrassment he felt, “Oh….” 

That was one of the things he had to give to the adepti, they were honest to a fault. To the point where Ajax felt flustered whenever they mentioned how interesting his looks were. Although, they were quite the weird bunch since they themselves had abnormal hair colors and were literal adepti, but they still managed to make Ajax feel like he was the strange one. 

Sky Bracer laughed a bit, that same grin back on his lips, “Ah…my apologies, I seem to have embarrassed you again. I didn't mean to sound strange, I’m just intrigued. And I didn’t mean to stare for too long either, my apologies again," even if he said he was sorry, there was still that grin on his lips.

Ajax felt his cheeks heat up even more, his embarrassment grew. 

Seriously, he really sounded like Zhongli. He sounded exactly the same, from the way he sounded out the vowels and consonants, to the way he worded things. It reminded him of the way Zhongli would tease him on occasion and the grin he had on his lips as he did so........Ajax felt his quickening heart begin to slow down. 

Right, Zhongli. 

He still had to save him, and here he was dallying about with the adepti. Completely forgetting what he came here to do; he was enjoying it too much. 

He was enjoying the simple life he had never known he wanted. 

Gods, Ajax was going to miss them when he returned to his own time. He didn't know what he would do with himself when they were all gone.

Guizhong.

Sky Bracer.

And many other gods and adepti that he would get to know would all die as a result from the war. 

He felt his good mood turn sour as he recounted their deaths, their sacrifice; he wanted to be selfish and stop it all from happening. He couldn’t have them all perish before his eyes, he didn’t want to have all the people he had grown fond of to die in front of him. 

No. 

He wanted to stop it all, and he would. 

His determination swelled up; he was going to save them all no matter what. 

____________________________

His stare was intense. 

She had never seen Morax like that ever since they had become friends; it almost reminded her of the earlier form of Morax she had encountered the first time they met. 

The version of him she had met inside of a cave, the same version of him that tried to kill her upon meeting her. 

That version of Morax was aggressive and feral; that version of Morax would never hesitate to harm or kill others. She had thought that he would never be like that again, but a part of that instinct was still inside him, he was a god of war after all. She had noticed how Morax’s eyes would become slits whenever he would gaze at Ajax, but a part of her just thought that perhaps he was just intrigued by Ajax (since he was new to them). However, as the weeks went by, that look never went away. 

Something was definitely going on with Morax and she wanted to know why. 

So, she had dragged him outside as soon as Ajax asked them for a favor. She needed to know why the old dragon had acted out in such a way. 

While Guizhong herself was not all that well with feelings herself, having barely understood through her people’s teachings, she was aware there was something more. 

She led Morax outside of Sky Bracer’s domain and sat him down on the nearest patch of grass, “Morax, something has been going on with you. What is the matter?” 

Morax just looked at her with confusion growing in his expression, he blinked, “Nothing.” 

Guizhong shook her head, “No, something has been going on. You have been acting more aggressively towards the other adepti,” she didn’t add (whenever they touched Ajax). 

It was true, if she really thought about it. The few times other adepti had touched Ajax; whether it was a hug or a peck to the head. She could sense how tense and rigid Morax became. When A-Ping had embraced Ajax, Morax had called her out to train. And the other time where Cloud Retainer had pecked Ajax’s head when he had irritated her and Morax had promptly told her that Mountain Shaper was looking for her. And the other time when Guizhong herself had hugged Ajax tightly after he returned from fighting Rifthounds and he huffed with irritation.

Wait, the more she thought about it, the more obvious the answer became. 

Morax always had this fond expression in his eyes whenever Ajax arrived; like he was a priceless treasure, the only one in the world. He would always make sure to feed Ajax properly and would even unconsciously add more meat and vegetables onto Ajax’s plate when he wasn’t looking. And he would also smile more around Ajax, and would snort whenever he would tell a funny story or joke. 

Wait. 

Could it be…

He only blinked at her before he bowed his head down in shame, “Ah…I apologize. I did not mean to.” 

Guizhong laughed before she ruffled his hair, a knowing smile on her face, “It’s alright, it just seems you are a bit unaware of your own feelings at the moment, Morax. You still have a lot to learn after all. However, please do not act aggressively towards us adepti, are we all on the same side. Are we not?” 

His expression still remained confused, as if her words were a difficult puzzle to decipher, but he nodded nevertheless. 

Guizhong chuckled before she pulled him up once more, “Alright, let’s go and get those ingredients from the market!” 

“Mn.” 

It seemed as if Zhongli still had a lot to learn, hopefully Ajax would be able to teach the poor god before he left. 

Hopefully Ajax would be able to help her friend, after she was gone. 

She hoped it would be so. 

Guizhong closed her eyes and breathed in the fresh air around them. 

It was a nice day out. 

________________________

Ajax didn’t need to wait long in awkward silence as Guizhong came bursting through the door, smiling wide, “We’ve arrived! I hope we didn’t make you wait for too long!” 

Morax looked disgruntled behind her, as he was forced to carry all of the groceries in his spare hand, as Guizhong only held a small bundle of flowers in her other hand; they were glaze lilies. 

Ajax’s gaze trailed down to see what was occupying her other hand; Morax’s hand was intertwined with hers. 

Something in Ajax spiked when he saw it: Jealousy. 

There was no reason to feel like that, they were just close friends, nothing else. And besides, Morax wasn’t in any relationship with him in this era, there was no reason to feel that way, Ajax reminded himself. They didn’t mean anything to each other, other than co-workers or even friends…they weren’t anything else. And besides, he was being hypocritical, he was the one who broke things off when he found out the truth from Zhongli. 

And so, even in his own era, they weren’t anything else. 

His heart sank as that heavy truth set in. 

He was sure that Zhongli didn’t want anything to do with him, after abandoning him and not even attempting to understand his side. He didn’t deserve someone like Zhongli, or even Morax. 

He sighed and attempted to crack a smile, “It’s alright, you didn’t make us wait too long. It was only about 2 minutes, no need to worry.” 

Guizhong grinned and placed the flowers on the counter, while Morax placed the groceries in a small bag on the counter as well. 

She placed the flowers into a nice decorative vase before she poured some of the water into it, placing the gorgeous flowers into them; muttering soft praise to them. It was an endearing sight. 

Ajax went towards the bag and started to unpack the vegetables and the large sack of rice. Then after, he got to washing the vegetables with the help of Guizhong and Sky Bracer; while Morax washed the rice. 

After they were done, Ajax asked, “Da-ge, where do you put the knives?” 

Sky Bracer chuckled and turned over to Ajax, “Ah, I seem to have forgotten to retrieve them. They are in the drawer above you.” 

Ajax nodded and hurriedly opened the top drawer, before he started to reach up. However, it seemed as if the drawer was not up to Ajax’s height. And it wasn’t as if Ajax was particularly small either, he was 6’2 after all. Considered tall, however it seemed as if the drawer was too tall for him. 

He attempted to reach up and even stood on his toes, before he finally reached the drawer, and started to feel around for a knife. He didn’t have to wait for long before he finally felt a knife’s handle on his hand. He grabbed it and was bringing it down, but as he did, he slipped on something. 

Ajax panicked as a sharp knife was wrapped around his hand, but before he could fully slip and injure himself. He was caught by someone. 

He opened his eyes to see that Morax had been the one that caught him. Ajax sheepishly gazed up at him, “....Ah….”

Morax’s eyes were blown wide and he looked equally panicked, “..Are you alright?” 

Ajax nodded and stood up on his own again, looking towards where the knife was. And he sighed in relief when he noticed that it was still wrapped around his own hand, but he began to panic as he noticed red drip down his hand…….he had cut his hand open… 

He placed the blade down on the counter and looked at his own hand. The wound was not too deep, but it was deep enough that it caused Ajax’s hand to bleed, meaning that it had punctured his skin. 

“Ajax, you are bleeding…” Morax said, his eyes tense and piercing. He looked as if he wanted to crush the knife that he had been holding with his hand. 

Guizhong immediately looked up and her eyes became wide as saucers as she looked at the blood dripping from Ajax’s hands. 

She immediately rushed towards him, nearly knocking Morax over, “Shidi! Are you alright?” 

Guizhong rushed to wrap a small cloth on his hand, “Here, keep pressure on it. Do you need painkillers, I have some in my pocket,”she reached into her sleeves.  

Ajax chuckled and shook his head, “It's alright, shijie, I’m used to dealing with injuries. Besides, it's not a big deal.” 

Guizhong frowned, “What do you mean it's not a big deal! My precious shidi got injured! Of course it's a big deal,” she continued to put pressure on Ajax’s wound. Her eyes wide with concern and her usual smile turned into a large frown. 

____________________________

Afterwards, Ajax was made to rest on the dinner table. Guizhong had insisted on not stressing his wound out by using it too much, so she had led him out and forced him to sit down on the dinner table until they had cut up all of the ingredients and cooked the rice. 

So during that time, Ajax had carried the bucket of cold water and dipped a small towel with his good hand before squeezing most of the water out and placing it on A-Yu’s forehead. He changed it every once in a while, when it had turned warm. 

After that, he snuck back into the kitchen and began to pour the water into the large pot before he put minced garlic and salt into the pot. Then, he added the carrots, cabbage, and squash into the pot, and covered it with a lid. 

He checked on the soup periodically, making sure that the vegetables weren't overcooked. And after a long hour, he checked it and the delicious smell rose to the top making Ajax’s own mouth salivate. 

He grabbed a large spoon and began to pour some soup into a small bowl for A-Yu, before he put a generous amount of rice in it. He looked at the bowl of soup, and almost wished he was sick so he could enjoy it as well. But he reminded himself that it was for A-Yu only. 

He couldn’t eat any, as much as he wanted too. 

Ajax walked into the living room, to see them all sat around the living room, talking about something Ajax was too lazy to make out. He walked over to A-Yu and shook her slightly. She blinked her eyes open, she looked startled. She didn’t say anything and just sat up slightly, causing Ajax to pull a pillow under her in order to keep her steady. 

He placed the bowl in front of her, “It’s yummy soup, just for you, A-Yu.” 

Ganyu nodded and reached down to grab the bowl and held on to the spoon. She attempted to take some soup into her spoon, however every time it slipped out. 

Right, he had forgotten that sick people are usually very weak. 

He grabbed the spoon, took some soup into it, blew on it before he brought it to her mouth, “Say ahh.” 

Ganyu nodded and mimicked Ajax. He brought the spoon to her and she carefully grabbed it before she swallowed the soup. Her eyes immediately brightened up as the flavor finally hit her. Needless to say, she finished the entire bowl in 2 minutes, falling asleep soon afterwards. 

Ajax laughed lightly before he stood up and went towards the kitchen. He turned around, and noticed eyes on him. 

He paused slightly, and raised an eyebrow at the bunch. A moment passed before Guizhong spoke up, her eyes practically glowing, “Awww, shidi!! That was so cute!”

Ajax’s cheeks began to heat up from the sudden compliment thrown at him. He didn’t even know what to say to that, so instead he just sped towards the kitchen, causing Guizhong to chuckle. 

________________________

Soon after, they all sat around the table and enjoyed a nice cup of tea, brewed by Guizhong herself. 

It was herbal tea, with a hint of mint. 

It was a nice combination and it caused Ajax to calm down. 

He had been periodically checking up on A-Yu, who was still asleep, changing the towel on her head as well.And at one point, he taught an eager Guizhong how to do it, after she had insisted on helping him since he had an injured hand. He still didn’t know what the big deal was, but he still allowed her to help him. 

 So, it was a relief when he could relax a little bit. 

Soon enough, the chattering around him warped around him and his eyes began to close. Perhaps, it had relaxed him too much. 

And soon enough, he couldn’t keep his eyes open; constantly jolting awake as soon as his head began to fall down. 

It reminded him of that afternoon with Zhongli. 

_______________________

Childe had been traveling all over Liyue, attempting to find out how to make more Sigils of Permission. He had dug up more information on them, and they had even made their first successful copy.

However, it had drained all the energy he had. 

Causing him to look like a walking corpse when out for dinner with Zhongli. 

He could barely keep his eyes open and had been periodically missing out on Zhongli's lesson on the intricacies of tea in that rich baritone voice of his, “Tea is a staple in many cultures across Teyvat. However, the way people like their tea varies from culture to culture and person to person. And tea can even have special meanings or ceremonies attributed to each distinct flavor, and can even depend on the status of oneself. In Inazuma, green tea or matcha is used for tea ceremonies where it’s crushed into a fine powder. Then after, it is subsiquentially poured over with hot water where it is whisked and whisked using a special tool. Then-” Zhongli paused, “Childe, are you alright? You seem to be spacing out a lot…am I perhaps boring you?” 

Childe instantly perked up and shook his head, “Ah, my apologies Xiansheng. I had a stressful day today, and I’m finding it quite hard to keep my eyes open at the moment.” 

Zhongli nodded, “I see. Would you like to head home then?” 

Childe wanted to spend more time with Zhongli; he didn’t want to go to his house yet. 

He shook his head, “No, not yet. I…still…want to spend more time with you." 

Zhongli’s eyes widened slightly, and Childe could swear that his cheeks were turning a light pink color. Although, perhaps that was just his sleepy imagination. Zhongli swallowed, and Ajax’s gaze fixed on the way his Adam's apple bobbed up and down, “...Alright, I understand….Then, would you like to come over for a cup of tea?” 

Tea? 

Ajax found it quite odd, but considering his rambling on the intricate of it, and how often he ordered it when they were out eating, he guessed the man must have been quite fond of the drink. And besides, it was not as if Ajax himself did not enjoy it either, and if it meant that he got to spend more time with Mr. Zhongli, then he would gladly drink any flavor of tea known to man in an instant. 

Ajax smiled, “If that isn’t too much trouble..” 

Zhongli shook his head, “No, it’s quite alright, tea is very beneficial for lowering stress levels....And besides, I throughly enjoy your company as well, it would not cause me trouble at all.” 

Ajax flushed. 

And with that, they left Wanmin towards Zhongli’s house. 

When they arrived, Zhongli had sat Ajax down on his comfortable couch before he hurried to make some tea. Ajax was equally ecstatic as he was nervous. This wasn't his first time being in Zhongli’s house, but even so, he couldn’t fight the blush that crept up on his cheeks as he noticed that familiar smell; sandalwood and silk flowers. 

He nervously twiddled with his thumbs and waited for Zhongli’s arrival; the sleepiness that he felt was gone and replaced with nervousness. 

He wasn’t sure how to react, it wasn't the first time he'd been in Zhongli's house, but even so, he felt as if his heart was in his throat. 

He knew it didn’t mean anything, he couldn’t stop himself from feeling nervous and….over the moon. 

He had been aware of his growing feelings for the man, and had been attempting to see if perhaps he felt the same way. He had tested Zhongli with lingering touches and flirty comments. And a part of Ajax had come to the conclusion that the other man felt the same way; if the blush on his cheeks from Ajax’s touch and flirtations weren’t signs enough. 

However, neither Zhongli nor him had said anything regarding the nature of their relationship. Nor had Zhongli asked him out. And he hadn’t either. 

After a few minutes, Zhongli came out of the kitchen, holding two cups, “Childe, I finished the tea.” 

Childe grinned, “Awesome.” 

Zhongli’s smile grew and he carefully handed a cup towards Childe, “Here you are, please tell me how it tastes.” 

Childe nodded and eagerly grabbed the cup. He brought the cup to his lips and gently took a small sip. The flavor was delicate, fragrant, with hints of just enough sweetness.

It was just as good as he had remembered. 

Childe sighed in relief and continued to sip his cup, earning a chuckle from Zhongli, “Is it good?” 

He nodded, “Yeah…it is....” 

It always is. 

Zhongli sat down next to Childe and began to sip his own tea. They sat like that for a few minutes, as Zhongli began to read a book. And soon enough, Childe felt his eyes drooping down and his limbs give out. He placed the empty cup of tea down and attempted to curve his sleepiness. 

However, with Zhongli’s gentle voice murmuring the story, he closed his eyes. 

He woke up to his head in Zhongli’s lap; Zhongli’s own hand playing and pulling gently through his hair, his other hand was holding the book. Ajax felt embarrassment, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop Zhongli’s hand or stand up. His warm hand was just so comfortable and soothing on his head, it made Ajax’s heart swell up with fondness. Ajax felt warm all over and closed his eyes to enjoy the momentary moment of intimacy. 

He felt relaxed, just like he did right now.  

Although, he didn’t have a warm hand trailing through his head, just cold air. 

Chapter Text

After that whole debacle, it was decided that each of them would take turns taking care of A-Yu….which really meant that Ajax and poor Sky Bracer. Who seemed genuinely eager to help Ajax out; following instructions to perfection. And damn if he did all of those tasks with the grace of a prince, even with drool all over him from A-Yu falling asleep in his arms. 

Ajax had teased him for that, earning him a flushed Sky Bracer; a nice blush spread over his face, making him look twice as handsome. Causing Ajax’s heart to beat rapidly in his chest, he looked gorgeous. His hair loose to his shoulders, a shy smile spread over his face, his yellow eyeliner framing his bashful eyes, the warmness of his eyes, the way he sighed slightly in his hand as the teasing continued on.

He was the only adepti that even attempted to help and understand, the others quickly gave up proclaiming it to be, “Pointless and counterproductive.” 

However, they did not call it ‘pointless and counterproductive’ as they watched Ajax take care of A-Yu as if they were entranced by the spectacle in front of them, sat around the table. Their eyes all on Ajax and Sky Bracer as they were some sort of entertainment for them. 

Ajax still did not understand why they watched him taking care of A-Yu as something so whimsical; he was starting to feel as if he was accomplishing a great feat, it was terrible for his ego. 

He had never been one to admit it but he loved attention. 

Craved it even. 

Being raised in a house with 3 older siblings and 3 younger siblings meant that he did not get proper attention growing up. He was always seen as the last priority in their family, all of his other siblings got more attention and praise from his parents. He was set on the back burner since he was born. As a kid, he never got any attention from his parents even if he tried to. They would always either ignore him or send one of his older siblings to deal with him. 

He never truly got the attention and love he wanted. 

And so, when he was suddenly praised, admired, and feared; he loved it. 

He swam in the plethora of eyes on him, as if drinking in a good wine on a cool summer evening. The eyes on him felt flattering and fulfilled a sort of need, he did not know he even had; the need to be paid attention too. 

As a newly proclaimed Harbinger, he was overjoyed with the amount of eyes on him. He drank it in and swam in the crowds of eyes. 

Sometimes he wondered if it was because of his time in the Abyss that made him that eager for attention. After all, a part of himself was thrilled to be feared by someone. 

The Abyss did that to people. Drove them mad, made them monsters, made them sub-human, inhuman, beasts, you name it. 

It was an ugly pungent thing that never went away no matter how many baths you possibly had. It was an infection that never truly went away no matter how much medicine you took. He could not wash it away, and it constantly whispered things in his ear at every turn he got. Sometimes he wondered if it was a part of him or if it was a different entity altogether. 

But either way, he was satisfied with the amount of eyes on him. 

The only thing that changed his desire to watch the dreadful fear on peoples faces was Zhongli. 

He walked into Ajax’s life with so much grace and elegance, so much composure, so self-assured and serene. Like he had all the time in the world, like he had seen it all, as if he had made peace with the world itself. 

However, the only thing he wanted now more than ever was Zhongli’s eyes on him and him only. 

A sick part of himself wanted Zhongli’s eyes on him and him alone. He wanted to morph into Zhongli and be one with him, wrap himself around his entire being like a snake and be with him at all costs. 

It was a twisted corrupt feeling he felt during those tense moments with Zhongli. When he was attempting to provoke the man on their first couple of outings, when he was trying to get a reaction out of Zhongli. He wanted to see what the man would do, but, each and every time. Zhongli would just stay still and not react to anything. 

Tartaglia could have brought a knife up to his throat and he would simply look into his eyes and blink with nonchalance. It made him shiver to think about those molten eyes staring deeply into his own, a fierce flame burning behind them. 

But, he also missed the warmth of his eyes. The fondness that would permeate them whenever Ajax was around him, the way he would look at Ajax as if he meant the world to him, as if he was the only thing that mattered. As if he was the light of his life. 

It was thrilling, but nerve wracking to Ajax back then, on those tender moments shared with Zhongli on warm afternoons in Liyue spent at Wamnin. 

He shrugged those thoughts off, they would only serve to bring down his already lowered mood even more.

He hadn’t felt that egotistical since he crushed all of Pulcinella’s soldiers when he was 14, earning him a chuckle and a pat on the back from Pulcinella. That incident was what sent him all the way to the bottom of the ranks as a mere soldier, to which he quickly surpassed. And so on and so forth. 

Part of him never understood why Pulcinella sent him all the way to the bottom, since he was so obviously above their level, as narcissistic as that may sound. Whenever he was sent on missions and expeditions with his fellow soldiers, he was always the one who would immediately wipe out the enemy as if they were bugs under his shoes. Which earned him both immense respect and immense fear. 

However, another part of him understood why Pulcinella sent him down to the bottom, it was a punishment for practically killing his soldiers. He wanted to see if Childe had what it took to be a harbinger, he wanted to see if Childe had the strong passion behind his words. 

But, being 14 at the time, he thought it was unfair of him to do so, since to his defense they did say to ‘show them what he’s got’, and he did just that.

But now being in his 20’s, he understands why Pulcinella did such a thing. He could not imagine such a young kid coming at them, demanding to sign up for the Fatui, and then completely desecrating his entire army in a matter of minutes. He would feel the need to show such a prideful kid a lesson in patience and hard-work. 

He chuckled at his past memories, and focused his attention on the several adepti huddling around Sky Bracer teasing him relentlessly, laughing and having a good time drinking some more tea. Guizhong had brought a couple more teas since he had remained in Sky Bracer’s abode, since they couldn’t have A-Yu getting sicker out in the cold rain when they moved her into Ajax’s house. And besides, Ajax’s house wasn’t even properly conditioned to take care of a sick person, he didn’t have proper heaters or anything to keep in the heat in his house. 

Sky Bracer’s abode had not only a warm fireplace but a heating system Guizhong had come up with and was in the middle of testing out before she released it to her precious people. Ajax was more and more fascinated by Guizhong’s ingenuity as time passed, she was a genius of her time. Her ideas were ahead of the era they were living in, and they could have been completed if she had the right equipment and insight on how many of the machines in the future worked. 

Ajax provided the knowledge he had from the future in order to assist her, earning him a soft pat on the head and a laugh, “Am I wrong to assume that perhaps you are the real genius shidi?” 

Ajax only shook his head and smiled, “No, I am not. I am but a humble servant in your excellency's presence.” 

Guizhong laughed and smacked him lightly on the arm, “You’re just as bad as Sky Bracer with all of the formalities shidi!” 

They both laughed until Ajax’s lungs felt like they were on fire and he felt as if he was suffocating, but it felt freeing in a way, with the huge grin plastered on Guizhong’s face as well as she threw her head back in laughter. 

Ajax has never met someone so joyous and carefree in his life, he felt his heart clench with helplessness. 

Would this smile cease to exist one day?  

__________________________

Although the adepti were known for millennia as fierce warriors and protectors; those who guarded the lands of Liyue, a tale as old as time. Although they were wise, knowledgeable, otherworldly…..they were surprisingly lazy.

A notion which Ajax found to be both incredibly amusing and hopeless. Even if they swore with their whole existence that they were different from humans.

They are wrong. 

In fact, Ajax thinks they might be more human than him.

With the amount of variety of emotions and human behaviors that they do. They sure qualify as faux humans at least. But, perhaps that has something to do with how much time they were spending around mortals (begrudgingly so), and Guizhong’s insistence of understanding them and empathizing with them. 

And they had somewhat managed that; in their own unique way. 

Even if they had a large variety of emotions, they still did not know how to read the moods of others. They didn’t even know how to distinguish what they felt, when they felt it. And instead preferred to ignore it or stay in their domains until the feeling left. 

They were much more emotionally constipated than Ajax expected. 

He knew the adepti were originally born in order to serve a greater good, to be there when Celestia could not; however, they had their own feelings. Ajax was sure of that, he had seen how worried they were over A-Yu and how panicked they were to find her a cure. 

Even if they were adeptal beasts, mythical beings sent down in order to serve their people, they seemed much more human than those they were serving. 

The irony was just so hilarious for Ajax to even fathom. 

_________________________

Morax had not showed up around Ajax since the last time they had last had tea with the other adepti, when Ajax had made A-Yu vegetable soup. He had not shown up, which was confusing since he was always practically glued onto Guizhong’s side, or always around her in some way. He hadn’t shown up around dinner time. 

He had asked Guizhong about it and she only sighed and chuckled slightly, “Ah, he’s currently contemplating my words. Don’t worry about it, shidi. He’ll come around, eventually,” she winked and then she was off to talk with an annoyed Cloud Retainer who was currently attempting to open up some walnuts with her beak….and failing miserably. 

He couldn’t decipher her words either, always so cryptic when it mattered. That was just who Guizhong was, always so philosophical and cryptic whenever you would mention anything serious, hiding it behind a laugh or mysterious smile that Ajax could not place for the love of him. 

Ajax would be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t worried. 

However, even if he could admit it to himself. 

His pride got in the way and prevented him from going over to Morax’s domain and demanding to know what was wrong. He couldn’t face Morax himself, without his heart getting confused and starting to beat rapidly in his chest when he saw the man he loves. But, it wasn’t the man he loved, the man he loved was eras after this one, he was in the future but still present in the now. 

It was another confusing part, besides his jumbled emotions. 

Being apart from Morax was starting to make him feel strange, it was as if someone ripped something from himself. It felt strange, since he wasn’t particularly close to Morax, in the slightest. But, for some reason he couldn’t wrap his head around it, his heart somehow confused him with Zhongli and….it couldn’t stop feeling as if a piece of himself was torn.

It was weird, since he usually didn’t even talk with Morax all that much. He was much closer with Guizhong, Sky Bracer, and even Madam Ping (who was too busy practicing her guzheng to join them during dinner and during their gathering in Sky Bracer’s domain). 

Just why was he feeling that way about Morax? 

He looked like Zhongli and on occasion acted like him, but he isn’t the man he loves. He’s a different part of the man he loves, a past self. Another separate part of himself he did not share with Ajax during their short interactions together in Liyue. Perhaps he would have revealed that part of himself after revealing the truth to him. 

Maybe if Ajax had waited for him and not freaked out firsthand, he would have gotten on that date Zhongli promised him. 

But maybe that was just wishful thinking. 

__________________________

Something Ajax did not expect from Madam Ping was how even though she was a fierce warrior, whenever she played music, it seemed soft and delicate as if she was playing the rivers, and mountains themselves with the tips of her fingers. 

Out of the rest of the adepti, she was the one who was the most interested in music and making it herself. Guizhong enjoyed music and sang songs as well, however, she did not play any instruments and nor did she really dedicate much time to singing. The only times she did sing was when she was bored or when she sang to her glaze lilies. Her voice was melodic and soft, something like a haunting memory that Ajax couldn’t bring himself to remember no matter what he tried. 

He swore he had heard her voice before, but he couldn’t remember where it was that he heard her voice. 

Another thing to be added onto the pile of mysteries that surrounded his ties with the adepti. 

He had encountered Madam Ping playing a gentle tune near a river, her eyes were closed and she looked concentrated on her music. The sleeves of her elegant blue and white aoqun with small swirls of water and flowers embroidered with a clever shade of luminous white adorned the chest of her aoqun. Her head was tied into a bun with 2 small braids tied back as well with a wooden hair stick with a small green gemstone embedded on it. 

She plucked at the strings and conceived an elegant and peaceful sound out of the instrument below her hands. She only opened her eyes and stopped her playing once she heard Ajax approaching. She immediately withdrew her spear and held it in a defensive pose, but once she saw it was Ajax, she drew it back and smiled mellowly at him, “Ah, shidi, it’s only you.” 

Ajax nervously laughed and scratched his cheek, “Yeah …is it a bad time..” 

Madam Ping chuckled and shook her head, “No, not at all. What is it you need from me?” 

He sighed and sat down next to her, holding his knees close to his chest, “My…friend has to do something but he doesn’t know how to do it. He feels trapped by it and is not sure what the right thing to do is, and is pretty lost…ha..” 

Madam Ping hummed, a silent gesture for him to continue. 

“So, he doesn’t know what to do. He’s trapped in a situation where both outcomes have the possibility of ending terribly…” 

She nodded and looked towards the river once again, before conjuring up a small bit of water in her fingertips, molding it into random shapes, her eyes closed once more, “When people think about the future, they often forget about the now. We are often too caught up in knowing what the future has in store for us, but we neglect to see the present we are living today. You can’t change fate, but you can change your actions, remember that shidi.” 

Ajax nodded and felt the cool air sweep up and wash over him, filling his lungs and making his worries wash away. He had been penting up his indescribable hopelessness of the situation he had landed himself in. 

He had to steal Morax’s gnosis, save his friends, save Zhongli, and do his best to not get killed. 

It was a lot to take in, and sometimes, he felt helpless to change anything. 

How were they all going to die, and would be able to stop it all? 

Would he be enough to save all of them, would he be able to do it? 

He didn’t know, and that very same thing drove him mad. 

This was 2 days after he had first made vegetable soup for A-Yu, and well, he was feeling down. He was feeling like shit, like utter fucking shit. He didn’t know what to do, and he wasn’t sure if his efforts would even pay off in the end.

And on some nights, he desperately wished to go back to his time, in order to feel the warmth of Zhongli’s palms, their shared laughter, the scolding he would get from Ekaterina, the disapproving gaze he would get from Lumine and Paimon, the new delicious food Xiangling had conjure up, the outstanding performances of Yun Jin and Xinyan, the letters from his siblings, and his Tsaritsa’s icy voice stating his next order. 

He selfishly wanted to run away from it all. 

But he couldn’t. 

That was the problem. 

He was too afraid of what the future would hold, he was terrified even, he didn’t want it to ever come. He wanted to continuously live in the past, for eternity. 

Perhaps he understood the Electro Archon better than he had previously thought. When he had heard what ridiculous doctrine she had set up, the vision hunt decree. He thought it to be stupid and pointless; why would any Archon want their people to suffer so much and live in eternity for the rest of their lives. 

To live forever on pause for the rest of their lives. 

He brushed it off and chuckled heartily, “Why would anyone do that?” He proclaimed to his soldiers who earnestly agreed, calling the Electro Archon ridiculous and idiotic. 

A young god being foolish in her attempt to reach her own selfish immortality, to guarantee her own eternity. 

Nothing else, nothing more. 

Little did Ajax know that he would come to feel the exact same thing as her eventually. He wanted to stop time and forever live with the adepti, he wanted to forever relive the same warmth as before. He wanted to ingrain it forever in his head, he wanted to stop time and save the memory of him and Zhongli together laughing at the dinner table, sharing stories of their interests, their battles, their most treasured memories. He wanted to forever do that, he selfishly wanted to prevent anything from happening. 

The Electro Archon suffered many losses during her time in the Archon War, she lost her twin sister and her beloved friends, it was no wonder she wanted eternity. 

The Electro Archon Baal is both a childish and terribly tragic person. 

Just like him. 

______________________________

Living with Sky Bracer was certainly something else…

While Sky Bracer had many human furniture in his domain, with a variety of different styles and intricate decor. He also only had a few things meant only for one person. 

Which meant that they had to share many things, from the couch, to the bathroom, to the same bed. 

It was something. 

Sky Bracer would be in his mortal form around Ajax for his comfort. After all, waking up to an adeptal beast next to you in bed would be very surprising to say the least. But even so, waking up right next to an extremely attractive guy, did not help either. 

Sky Bracer looked absolutely flawless when he woke up, not a hair in disarray, no drool, he didn’t even snore in his sleep. He woke up looking like a prince, and when he spoke, his already deep voice became impossibly deeper, making Ajax’s heart quiver. He would usually wake up before Ajax and would sit beside him in bed where he would usually scan through a book or two, not wanting to wake Ajax up.

He would then occasionally play with Ajax’s hair when he was especially engrossed in a book, tugging at a strand of his hair or even curling it around his finger. And on some rare occasions he would scratch lightly at his scalp, causing him to shiver. 

Ajax would subconsciously in a half-sleep daze would lean into his touch in an attempt to get him to continue. Sky Bracer would chuckle and continue to play with his hair. 

Ajax would be a liar if he said he didn’t like the affection from Sky Bracer. His palms were warm and would sweep through his hair with utmost care and just enough strength; it was nice. 

It reminded him of the few and far between moments of subtle intimacy from Zhongli. The slight touches and glances, it made his heart ache in desperation. He didn’t want Sky Bracer, even if he was everything Zhongli was. 

He was just a replacement in his heart for Zhongli, as firewater was after the Golden House incident. 

His heart clenched and his stomach dropped, a bitter taste filled his mouth. He really wanted to see Zhongli again, but he couldn't. 

Not until he figured all of this mess out, not until a long while. And that was driving him crazy.

After getting up from bed, Sky Bracer would then excuse himself outside of the bedroom in order to give Ajax room to change, which he appreciated. 

He did not want to catch a glimpse of Sky Bracer’s naked back and think about it for the next three weeks, he would rather not do that. 

Then, he would exit the room and start cooking up breakfast and check if A-Yu was alright. They usually switched turns on who would watch A-Yu throughout the night and would allow the other to sleep in. But, that particular day the both of them had watched her, so they had allowed themselves to sleep in. 

Sky Bracer insisted on being the one to watch A-Yu since he was an adeptus and they did not need sleep. They would actually stay awake for days on end, a trait they had developed as a survival strategy. 

He had heard of the stories where they had to practically fight for their lives, with no sleep. It reminded him of his time in The Abyss. Although he had his master with him, he was on his own for most of his time there. 

They had to constantly keep moving, if they wanted to live. Which meant they did not get much sleep, if any sleep at all. However, they rarely got fatigued; a thing he guessed had to be a result from the constant adrenaline and the miasma. 

That was one of the first lessons he had learned when down in The Abyss. 

A harsh lesson that nearly got him killed on his first day down there. 

He had just fallen down, and fate had the worst possible luck for him, since he was knocked out. He then woke up to a Rift wolf who nearly ripped to shreds. If it wasn’t for his master Skirk who was passing by and took pity on him, he would have been dead. 

It was then that she sternly lectured him on the basics of survival down in the furthest place from light: 

1. Never fall asleep, keep moving. 
2. Stay alert. 
3. Fight to kill. 

Those were the rules that she constantly implemented in his head. He dazedly remembers being terribly sick from the thick miasma that covered the Abyss, and how Skirk took enough pity on him to keep him safe and alive until he got better. 

He still isn't sure why she brought him along with her. 

Perhaps she was lonely and wanted some company for a change. Or perhaps she wanted someone else to take on the monsters when she could not. 

Either way, he didn’t know how to feel about it. 

He was alive, that much was true. But, ever since the Abyss, he felt like something else was inside of him, a separate voice inside of his head, a separate entity apart from himself. 

He was not the boy he used to be, he was a replacement for him; a monster who took him over and completely suffocated him until it became Ajax. 

____________________________

Guizhong had advised him to think his actions over and ‘deeply reflect’ why he reacted in that way. To which he nodded before he slinked away to his domain. 

He wasn’t sure what she meant, nor was he sure he would ever know. 

Both he and Guizhong knew of his past, his past as a feral dragon. 

Before he had mellowed down, he was a cruel and heartless beast. With no empathy or sympathy for anything at all. If Guizhong had not made her way into his life, he would have never learned what it was like to care for someone else. He would have never been taught manners nor the joys of reading literature from the mortals. 

He would have not even desired to be a just and benevolent god. 

If he was his past self, his crueler self, he would have not thought twice before he would have snapped Sky Bracer’s throat with his teeth. Morax would have not thought to use his words to communicate what was the matter, he would have simply initiated a fight between him and Sky Bracer. 

However, he did not fully understand why he had reacted in that aggressive manner with his disciple. He had trained Sky Bracer since he was a newly born adeptus, when he did not know much about the world. He had seen him adapt and master his hold of the sword. He had seen him master his element, he had taught him how to use basic weaponry. 

He did not understand why his instincts rose up; the same fiery feeling filling his lungs up when he had witnessed Sky Bracer’s hand on Ajax’s head. 

Why did he feel that way? 

He had placed Ajax in a special box, and had begun to consider him special, dear to him. But, he had not anticipated to react in a viscous way when he saw his comrade’s hand on his treasure, his precious person. 

He did not understand. 

He had thought his draconic instincts were long buried by now, but for some reason Ajax managed to bring them back up. 

When he saw Sky Bracer’s hand on Ajax, he wanted to rip his arm off, he wanted to rip him to shreds until he was nothing more than a pile of flesh and blood. 

Why? 

Why did he do that? 

Why did he feel that way about Ajax? 

Just who was he to him? 

What was that warm feeling he felt whenever he was around? 

______________________________

Weakness took over Ajax at midnight. 

He was barraged with memory after memory of Zhongli. 

His eyes, his laugh, every curve of his face, his long hair and how silky it felt, his smell, his baritone voice, his gentle touch, his molten eyes, his smile. 

He missed him. 

But, he could not explain why he had dragged himself out of the bed and hastily went down the mountain. 

Before he knew it, he was standing right outside of Morax’s domain’s door. 

He let out a shaky breath, but before his conscience could fully scream at him the severity of his actions. The impulsivity and stupidity of it all, lifted his fist towards the translucent golden door. 

He brought his fist down, but before he could make contact with the golden door before him. 

He was dragged into the domain.

Chapter Text

He was confronted with the same set of eyes he had long since ingrained in head; they were molten lava and they made his spine shiver with anticipation. 

It was dark inside of the domain, the only thing visible was a pair of golden eyes, like burning glass. Before Ajax could explain himself or even let out a breath, a large hand came around his neck. A pair of sharp nails slightly taunted his sensitive neck, a pair of glowing eyes raked up and down his figure, a firm inhale was heard. 

A long shaky breath was let out by the figure towering above him, “Ajax…Why have you come here?” 

Ajax felt the hand leave his throat, and he felt like he could breathe again, “Um, I….have come here to umm…” 

What did he have to say? 

He had come to Morax for comfort, because he was Zhongli; the man he loved, the man he had always held up in high esteems, the man he had respected, the man he admired, the man he ogled at, the man he cared for, the man he hated. 

He had a weak moment. 

That much was evident. 

He wanted to see Zhongli’s face again, even if it felt it would not feel the same. He wanted to see the person he loved so badly. 

He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, “I was…worried about you.” 

It technically wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the entire truth either. He was worried about Morax, but he wanted to see him again. Because he looked too much like Zhongli, it was physically painful for Ajax to handle. However, it felt like a rush of euphoria when he laid his eyes upon the love of his life again. 

He felt like falling in love all over again. 

Morax paused and his eyes became slits again, before he said, “I…see.. ” 

Ajax nodded, hoping that Morax could see him in the darkness. He had never fully gotten to ask Zhongli, nor had he looked into it too much. So, he did not know whether gods or dragons had the ability to look in the dark. It was never a topic that piqued his interest, he never got curious enough to know the ins and outs of the physiology of archons or dragons. 

“I…am sorry….I have been told by Guizhong that this is how mortals apologize to each other. I am truly sorry for making you worry about me. I didn't mean to make you worried, I just needed to reflect on my actions…” 

Reflect on what actions? 

What happened? 

Ajax was about to inquire, when suddenly, a shower of golden light illuminated the entire room. The once dark room was washed in a golden light, small particles of golden light were thrown all over the room. 

“I have also been informed that mortals do not see in the dark…is this true?” He was towering over him….shirtless….with low rising loose cotton pants….

Every single inch of his body was on full display, the curve of his collarbones, the curve of pectorals, the curve of his abdomen, every single dip and muscle were contracting as he was breathing.He smelled distinctly of silk flowers with subtle hints of sandalwood, a warm and cozy smell; his signature scent. 

His hair was let down, and the tips were glowing a soft golden light from them. Childe had always wondered why Zhongli had the tips of his hair lighter than the rest of his hair. However, with the amount of strange hair colors he had seen in Liyue and Snezhnaya, he somehow did not blink an eye when he swore he could see Zhongli’s hair glowing like lanterns in the middle of night. 

___________________________

It was Lantern Rite, and Zhongli had begun to show him around Liyue’s various games and food set up specifically for the festival. He expertly explained with gentle care the intricacies of every single ingredient used in Come and Get It.

“So, why do the people of Liyue celebrate Lantern Rite every year? Is there a special meaning behind it, or?” Ajax asked in blissful ignorance of the significance of the event. 

He saw Zhongli’s smile falter slightly, but he quickly held himself together and looked towards the lantern filled sky, with glazed eyes. He blinked the subtle tears, but Ajax could see the water left behind on his lashes, “Ah…well…Traditionally Lantern Rite is celebrated on the first full moon of the year which lasts for five days. It is a festival that was made to honor the death of an adeptus by the name of Sky Bracer during the Archon War. It is said that he lost his life defending the people of Liyue and his fellow adepti, and so, for that, they have vowed to honor his sacrifice and everlasting legacy for eternal peace.” 

Ajax nodded and looked back to see the gorgeous evening sky covered with glowing paper lanterns. It was a beautiful sight, but Ajax could not help but feel a subtle sadness wash over him in gentle waves. 

Sky Bracer, huh? 

He had never heard that name before, but for some reason, he couldn’t shake the heavy somber feeling from rising up in his chest. He let out a long sigh and shook his head, the story must have been affecting him. He could not imagine the pain they must have gone through losing a friend, a comrade for the greater good. He could not fathom it, he could not imagine losing Ekaterina. He would be devastated, and she wasn’t even all that close to him. 

He could not imagine how that must have felt for them. 

He turned over to Zhongli who was looking at the lanterns as well, they were nicely reflected in his eyes. He was transfixed on them, as he took a small sip of his precious Osmanthus Wine, the plethora of lights reflected in his irises. He looked deep in thought, and Childe could have swore he saw the tips of his hair glowing like fiery embers. 

But, he shook it off as the trick of the light from the lanterns. 

He looked back at the sky and watched the almost yellowish round moon, before he whispered to Zhongli, “The moon is beautiful, isn’t it Xiansheng?” 

Zhongli chuckled and Ajax’s stomach fluttered with the comfortable weight of it; like a warm blanket on a cold night. He turned towards Ajax and smiled widely, joy sprawled all over his face, “Yes, it sure is.”

He said something else but Childe could not catch it over the cheerful noise of the people next table to theirs, “Gānbēi!!”  

“Ah, what did you say Xiansheng? I couldn't hear you, sorry,” Childe replied as he leaned in closer to hear Zhongli better. 

Zhongli chuckled and shook his head lightly, “It is nothing important, Childe. I was merely stating how beautiful the decoration is, they certainly outdid themselves this year.” 

Childe nodded and got back to watching the group of cheerful people and the sea of lanterns that covered the sky, missing the soft look sent his way. 

For now, he could let it be that way. 

For now, it was nothing important. 

But, one day it would be important and precious, again. 

‘Not as beautiful as you, my dearest Ajax.’

_________________________

“Ajax, are you alright?” 

Morax stared at him, his eyes wide and expression serious. 

Oh, he didn’t realize he had zoned out for that long. He looked around his surroundings and spotted nothing but a few appliances all over the domain’s floor, there was a straw mat with a couple of blankets on top, and a bookshelf with a few tattered books. 

“Oh, I’m fine. I was just thinking about something s’all.” 

Morax nodded, “Does that happen often?” 

“No, but it’s been happening too much as of late,” Ajax chuckled, feeling the awkwardness of the room overcome him. 

It was the middle of the night, Morax was shirtless, Ajax was lonely and was currently inside of his domain, and he was standing face to face with the man he loved the most who did not even know who he was. 

He loved him, and yet, he did not know the full extent of their actual relationship. 

He did not know of their love and respect for each other, their fight at the Golden House, their falling out, his subsequent disease, Ajax being sent back in time. 

He didn’t know because Ajax was too much of a coward to actually admit how he had been sent there. He was too much of a coward to say that he was not from their time, not from their era. He was too much of a coward to try and make the love of his life understand just how much he loved him. How much he wanted him, how much he cared about him, how much he respected him. 

He was too scared. 

What would the adepti say? What would they do? How would they all react, if he was to grab Morax’s gnosis and make a run for it? How does he get back to his era? 

For now, he was just a strange anomaly with ties to the abyss and Morax’s disciple. 

He was nothing more, nothing else. 

He wasn’t special to Morax, and he wasn’t ever going to be. Not to this Morax in this era or Zhongli in his era. 

And yet, here he was. 

Attempting to get Morax to hold him, in whichever way he could. Attempting to get a glimpse of the same intimacy he had from Zhongli’s touch, from his gentle smile, his gentle laugh. Attempting to gain love from a man who barely even understood the basic principle of love. A man who was not even himself yet, a man who didn’t yet understand mortals in their curious ways. 

All in order to subdue the pain he felt whenever he looked at the face of the man he adored so much. 

Ajax felt pathetic. 

He felt the shame creep up his spine and felt himself wince. His heart was thrumming in his chest, he had to get away, he had to go away, he wasn’t fit for all of this. He wasn’t fit for any of it, he had to leave. He had to escape, he couldn’t do it. He wasn’t strong enough, he never was-

“Would you like a....cup of tea?” 

Morax’s voice broke through the fog of his mind, the familiar timbre of his voice rumbled through his entire body. It anchored him back down, even if it didn’t mean too. It always did. 

Morax stepped closer to Ajax and slowly lifted his chin up, closely inspecting his face, “I…can’t help but notice how strange you are acting. As if you are a desperate animal trying to get away from a threat. I don’t know how to properly…. comfort as Guizhong put it, but I have seen a good cup of tea can calm the nerves down. I may not be a master at tea brewing, but I can make a decent cup.” 

Morax stared into Ajax’s eyes and it felt as if nothing else mattered anymore. His eyes swallowed Ajax’s every emotion, every single fleeting thought he had was overthrown by the depth of his eyes. They were melting every single thing about Ajax, his mind was numb. 

He mindlessly nodded and attempted to make the pathetic way he leaned into Morax’s hand the least obvious as it was. 

Perhaps if he closed his eyes, he would be able to imagine Zhongli in front of him. 

Freshly out of the shower as Morax appeared, hair slightly damp, night clothes on, peppering Ajax’s cheek and head with gentle kisses and touches, ‘Good night, Ajax.’

He let out a shaky breath and pressed his hand to the back of Morax’s hand, savoring in the warmth radiating from Morax’s body and nodded. 

He kept his eyes closed and felt as Morax’s hand left his cheek and gave his head a slight pat, “...Alright..” 

That was the last thing he heard before audible footsteps were heard walking away from Ajax. 

He opened his eyes and neither Morax or Zhongli were in front of him. Only a lone bed, a bookshelf, and a variety of treasures stacked upon shelves were the only items in the large room. 

____________________________

He sat down on the mat, since the hard rocky floor felt terrible on his legs. 

How could Morax sleep like that? 

He felt the minutes passing by as he idly waited for Morax to come back like a dog waits for their owner. The shame he felt was now starting to fully encompass his entire being. 

He was out here, attempting to find comfort in a god who did not understand human emotions. 

Morax was barely taking his baby-steps in attempting to figure out the complexities of human emotion. He was barely starting to give a name to what he felt, how could Ajax expect him to understand the depth of his bitter loneliness. 

No doubt Morax had felt lonely before, but he most likely did not know it was loneliness. 

How could he ever comfort a man, if he did not know how to comfort himself? 

It was stupidly hilarious to think about and Ajax desperately wanted to slam his head onto the rocky floor beneath him. 

But, he couldn’t as he heard a voice come from above him, “Ajax, I have brought the tea.” 

Ajax lifted his head up to see Morax above him, holding out the tea, he looked vaguely concerned. 

His mouth was curled into a slight frown, and his eyebrows were pinched together slightly, his eyes were filled with endless compassion, a distant fondness....

Ajax couldn’t stop his mouth,

“..Zhongli..” 

The reaction was instantaneous, Morax jerked back slightly before his eyes became slits again, an inhumane noise erupted from his throat.

Before he could react, he leaned down and grabbed Ajax by the collar of his shirt until he was standing upright, his eyes were full with burning rage and something else, his expression inhumane. He grabbed at Ajax’s throat and shoved him back against a wall, his sharp teeth on full display, he was not adding force to his throat but Ajax could feel the threat behind his hand. He leaned near Ajax's ear, before he inhaled deeply making Ajax's spine shiver, his breath ticked his neck as he spoke harshly,“I am not this Zhongli you speak of. My name is Morax. ” 

Everything in Ajax screamed, something shattered deep within him. 

He was Zhongli, he was. 

He knew it. 

He knew he was Zhongli, but it was okay if he didn’t. 

He didn’t know any better, he was a brand new god…

It was fine. 

He was fine. 

The expression on Morax’s changed, the pupils of his dilated and his frown became bigger. Ajax felt the drops of wet salty water hit the hem of his shirt, and the warmth of them sliding down his face in waterfalls. 

Morax let go of Ajax as if he was burned and grabbed his face before he began to wipe at his face, frantically, “Why are you…leaking water from your eyes?... I didn’t mean to make you upset.....I am sorry....” 

Of course he didn’t mean to, he wasn’t aware. 

But perhaps that's what made it hurt worse. 

It did because Ajax started to sob, fully letting go of what had been accumulating for weeks.

He cried harder and heard himself give out sob after sob, he felt terrible. 

He felt Morax’s hands frantically wipe away the tears from his face as they kept raining down on his face. Morax’s frown grew as he saw his eyes fill up with concern; he almost looked human, “Please, do not cry.. ” 

Ajax could no longer support himself and fell to the ground again, taking Morax down with him. Morax stopped cradling his face and stiffened even more as Ajax wrapped his arms around him as if he was a snake. He wailed into Morax’s shoulder, feeling the awkward unsure pats of his hair from a confused Morax. 

He felt the warmth of Morax’s body against him and the way it curved against him, like a puzzle piece. It was so distinctly Zhongli, it tightened a knot around his throat and made him lose oxygen. 

He felt suffocated being around Zhongli’s face, his voice, his touch, his body. 

But, it was never Zhongli himself. 

It was a ghost, a mirage against his fingertips. 

__________________________

When Ajax came too, he was inside of his own bed. 

He felt his heat sting with the morning afterglow of his breakdown. He had been through too much stress and it had finally caught up with his body. And had caused him to collapse with exhaustion after crying his lungs out. 

He carefully lifted himself from the bed, when he noticed another weight on his bed. 

Next to him, was Guizhong who was looking up at him with a concerned expression. 

She gave a slight smile when he woke up and ruffled his hair, “Shidi, you’re finally up. I’m glad you’re okay.” Her voice had none of her prior enthusiasm, but was still joyous nevertheless. 

She gave him a quick hug, “Please don’t do that again. You had us all worried sick, shidi, ” she whispered in his ear. 

Ajax nodded, and felt the sting of other’s eyes on him. He looked over from Guizhong and noticed Cloud Retainer, Madam Ping, Moon Carver, Marchosius, A-Yu sleeping on Sky Bracer’s shoulder, Mountain Shaper and slinked in the corner of the room was Morax.

Cloud Retainer marched up to him, in her usual form, before she pecked at his head in a soft manner, “Foolish boy! Everyone was terribly worried about you! Guizhong nearly collapsed when Shizun told her about your condition! This one was interrupted in the middle of one's calligraphy! And ruined it from hearing about what terrible condition you had found found yourself in!! You will have to do something to make it up to oneself for worrying oneself so terribly!!” 

Ajax found it in himself to laugh as he shook her off, “Alright, I promise…” 

She pecked him once more before she shuffled away, looking positively outraged. Madam Ping came up to him next time and gently patted his hand before she pressed two fingers on his inner wrist, “You are over exerting your meridians with all of the stress you are making your body go through. Please try and take it easy, shidi. ”

He nodded and she slipped away. Marchosius came marching up next looking terribly concerned even in the small form he found himself to be in. He didn’t say anything and just pressed a small crown of intricately beaded flowers into Ajax’s hand, they were a bracelet of some sort, “Thank you, Marchosius.” 

He nodded and waddled back to his place next to Madam Ping who was chatting away with Cloud Retainer on which was better, the guzheng or the guqin. Madam Ping was bringing up good points on both of their qualities. But, Cloud Retainer earnestly declared that the guqin was better because it sounded better. 

“They are much more melodic than the guzheng and not as harsh to one's ears,” Cloud Retainer said, in her own stubborn effort to be correct. 

Madam Ping only laughed and smiled at her stubborn senior, “If Shigu says it to be true, then I guess it must be.” 

Cloud Retainer huffed before she turned over to Guizhong who was making small figures out of the golden dust she had conjured up in her hands. 

Sky Bracer came up next to him, with A-Yu at his side, sleeping on his shoulder, “Shidi, are you feeling alright?” 

His honey-like voice was always a pleasure to Ajax’s ears, he felt himself flush, “Ahh…yes, I am. Thank you…for your concern, Da-ge.” 

He laughed before he patted Ajax’s head affectionately, “It’s alright, shidi. I’m just glad you are feeling better.”

Ajax nodded, “Yeah…” 

Moon Carver and Mountain Shaper came up next. They looked as if they were forced to come along and looked as if they wanted to desperately escape the circumstances of their situation. 

Moon Carver began to speak, “I hope you get better, and that your recovery is quick and effective.” 

That was the best response he was ever going to get out of Moon Carver. It was the closest he was going to get real full blown concern from Moon Carver. So, he took it. 

He nodded, “Thank you.”

Moon Carver gestured at Mountain Shaper who reluctantly came up and handed Ajax a container, before placing it on the nightstand next to Ajax, “I hope you will recover as well.” 

That was also the closest he was ever going to get Mountain Shaper to admit that he cared about his well-being. Usually, he was at Ajax’s throat with taunts and ridicule, so this was a nice change of pace. Not that Ajax did not enjoy taunting his senior back and sparring with him at every turn he got. Mountain Shaper did have a bite to his bark and was actually pretty tough when it came to sparring. 

He used a spear in combat and was just as fast and effective as a certain yaksha who wanted him dead in his own era. 

It was almost as if Xiao was the direct son of Mountain Shaper with the amount of similar expressions and snarkiness they emitted; they also looked scarily similar. It was as if someone had aged up Xiao, made him taller, and made him have different colored hair and clothes. 

They had started off on the wrong foot, but they had grown closer as of late. 

He nodded and swore he could smell the subtle smell of Calla Lily soup from the container Mountain Shaper had laid down on his nightstand. 

Even though he was so moody towards Ajax and so mean towards him. Ajax had a strong inkling Mountain Shaper had grown to be fairly fond of him, if the fact that he paid attention to Ajax’s favorite food and had brought it to him said anything. 

After they were gone, Guizhong appeared again with a remorseful looking Morax in arm. He did not make eye-contact with Ajax and looked terribly sad. He looked as if someone had picked on him. 

Guizhong looked up at Ajax and let out a long exhale, “Shidi, Morax has something to say, right?” 

Morax looked up at Ajax, slow and tentative. As if he was testing out the waters for himself, “I apologize, Ajax. I acted rather terribly towards you, and made your body go through unnecessary stress.” 

Ajax was 80% sure Guizhong had picked out the words for him to say for his apology, but Ajax could never say no to him.

In the present or back then, he could never say no. 

And it was then, he felt his face go warm and his heart clench and unclench with equal parts embarrassment at what had transpired. He had collapsed on Morax, and had fainted because of the stress his mind was going through because of everything that was going on as of late. 

He chuckled and waved him off dismissively with his hand, “....It's fine, I’m just a bit worn out s’all. And besides, you did not do anything, Shizun. I was just reminded of someone I....care for....deeply. I’m sorry.” 

Morax nodded, "It is alright."

After a few seconds Guizhong grinned mischievously, “Well! Now that it's all settled! I have something to show you shidi! But, we’ll save that for later. For now, we’ll talk about the blueprints I have been developing as of late! They are so awesome!” 

Guizhong enthusiastically dragged a small parchment paper and began to showcase every single part of the new machine she was going to build. With an oblivious Morax next to her, attempting (but failing), to follow along with her explanation.

_________________________

He was not expecting Guizhong to drag him out during the afternoon out into the townsquare. She pulled him along before she spotted a crowd of people and immediately dragged her and Ajax towards the crowd. 

The crowd was loud and they were all gathered together, mumbling amongst themselves, “Rex Lapis is showing up today to give out his predictions!” 

“Yes, I’ve heard! But what do you think he’ll look like this time?” 

“I don’t know, but I’ve heard from a little birdie he’s going to be in his human form this time!” 

“Really? I can’t wait!” 

Now, Ajax was really confused. 

What was going on? And why had Guizhong taken him along? 

There was a loud rumble heard from the sky as it thundered and started to turn a strange color. It swirled for a bit as a tall figure came down, it was a large brown dragon with golden scales, that glowed a golden light.

Then, the large dragon swept through the crowd as it landed in the center of the plaza and then a puff of smoke engulfed the dragon. Then in a flash, Morax was dressed in a black zhiju that trailed behind him with every step he took, dragons and flowers littered all over his entire outfit in golden tweed. He had a long black coat made from the finest wool, with similar designs adorning it with the same golden tinsel. He had his hair up in a firm bun with a firm ornamental hat with long golden tassels dangling from the front and back, he came down and stepped on the platform set out for him. He was in full human form as neither his long nail nor horns were present. 

And in this form, he did not look like the unruly Morax, The God of War, but an Emperor.

A dignified and refined emperor with power at his fingertips, cold-hearted and commanding as he spoke. 

He sat down in a chair they had placed in front of him and took out a scroll, and began to read. 

Ajax felt his entire face flush red, he looked so handsome. 

On several parts of his predictions for the future, he made direct eye-contact with Ajax and it made his legs go wobbly like Almond Tofu. 

Chapter Text

Morax came up to them, still dressed in his formal attire looking twice as handsome as he did from far away. He had spotted them a while ago and Ajax could almost see the hint of subtle embarrassment from seeing Guizhong shamelessly cheering for him along with the crowd. 

The crowd of people had not seen Ajax nor Guizhong approaching; too immersed in the sight of their God descending from the heavens. 

However, once the excitement had died down and they started to really pay attention to their surroundings. Once they spotted them together they all instantly bowed down, “Your excellencies! These humble servants apologize that we did not greet you with the respect you deserve!” 

Guizhong nearly brushed them off with a wave of her hand, even going as far as to pick them all up on their feet, “It's alright! There is no need for formalities. We are merely equals here to enjoy the festival just like everyone else, no need for such extravagance.” 

They still hesitated to stand up, causing Guizhong to sigh deeply. Even if she was closer to the mortals than her peers, she still had certain authority over them. She still conveyed power as gentle of a god as she was. She was talked about in kid’s folktales about her befriending every creature and every being that ever existed; however, people were still intimidated by her. 

It always caused Ajax to feel sorry for Guizhong. She desperately attempted to make everyone speak to her without using formalities, to try to get closer to her people. But, they were too scared to say the wrong thing so, they ostracized her from their day-to-day conversation. Ajax witnessed them chatting away about the new blueprints that their beloved god had made, but as soon as the god in question came around they immediately bowed their heads and visibly stiffened. 

But, he guessed that was just the way it was. 

Even if Guizhong attempted to lessen the gap between her and the gods, they would always see her as a celestial being, a divine being, inhuman. They would never see her on the same playing field no matter how gentle or good she was. 

When Ajax had first arrived, they had immediately acted extremely cordial and respectful to him as well. He was brand new and Liyue’s people had already begun to act the same way as they always did around the rest of the adepti, fearful and respectful. 

And, they only became all the more frightened when they heard of Ajax’s love for fighting…

Morax reached them, walking with unnatural poise that was normally not around. He usually walked extremely roughly on the ground beneath him, leaving large imprints on it. However, given the situation, it made sense why he would act with extreme grace and elegance. He was practically walking on air with each step he took, the tassels on his hat moving alongside him. 

He came up to them before he gave them a short bow, “Guizhong, Ajax, you have come.” 

Fuck. 

If it wasn’t already evident from the way he looked from afar. 

He was so handsome. 

His features were perfectly accentuated more with the hair out of his face, the sharpness of his high cheekbones, his jawline, his piercing stare, the beauty of his plump lips, the nice red liner done expertly on his eyes. 

Ajax now realizes that this must have been an attempt from Guizhong to cheer him up; and he would be a liar if he said it wasn’t working. After all, that’s precisely what Madam Ping had said, ‘take it easy’ and he was…in a way. 

The entire exchange with Morax was a bit awkward, if not painfully embarrassing. However, seeing him dressed up like that, it made those feelings disperse as quickly as they resurfaced. 

Guizhong hit him playfully on the soldier, whistling before she laughed, “Shizun!! Dressed like that you are bound to attract worthy suitors!!”

Morax just blinked at her, before he titled his head to the side in confusion, “Suitors? Why would they be attracted to me? I’m their God, they should not think of me in such a way.” 

Guizhong sighed deeply before bowing her head down as a sign of defeat, before she grinned and patted his head (which she had to do on the tips of her toes), “I'm only teasing! Now, come on! Let’s go see the festival's attractions!” 

She grabbed his hand before she turned over to Ajax and grabbed his as well, “You too! Let’s all see what this festival has to offer!” 

Guizhong dragged the both of them to each and every stall of the small village, earning curious looks from the street vendors and the line of customers as well. At first, they had all insisted on moving away, but after Guizhong pleaded for them to treat them normally, they begrudgingly allowed them to wait their turn. 

So, there they were, 3 adepti, 2 of them being gods waiting for some tangren….

Ajax was not an expert on Liyue’s culture or food, but from what he had read and learned from Zhongli. 

Tangren was typically bought for kids…

They were made out of melted sugar and molded into different shapes and figures. So, thus, small children were typically drawn to them after seeing their favorite animal on display. But, that didn’t explain why Guizhong had brought them there specifically. 

He had already had tangren when visiting the market, Guizhong had even gone with him and bought him some tangren, after she saw him staring at the detailed figures of faux fish and other sea creatures. She had bought it for him and handed it to him, to which he accepted graciously through his blatant embarrassment. 

He must have looked ridiculous!

He was a grown man, a newly formed adepti, a warrior eating a candy made for children….

He must have made a face because Guizhong giggled before she leaned closer and whispered in his ear, “It’s Shizun’s favorite.” 

His favorite? 

What? 

Zhongli had never mentioned anything about that? Sure, he had mentioned before to Ajax how he used to enjoy sweets in his younger years but, he had never mentioned anything about specifically liking tangren of all things. Perhaps he was embarrassed by liking a treat typically liked by small kids, being the old god he was. 

He curiously watched as Morax clumsily ordered a tangren in the form of a small octopus. The candy-maker was slightly taken aback but complied, accepting the money before she handed him the small octopus-shaped tangren. 

It was very small, but very well-detailed. Every single tentacle was shaped out as well as the individual sucker on each of them, as well as the bulbous head of the octopus and its beady eyes. 

Each eye was topped off by a little bit of soy sauce, adding a certain charm to the candy. 

Morax admired the tangren, flipping it and closely inspecting it with his eyes, before he chomped down on it before Ajax could even blink. 

It must have surprised the vendor because she stood petrified at what had just occurred. Her hard work, expertly crafting the small octopus out of sugar was gone in an instant by a careless Archon. Ajax could even see something die in her eyes when she saw the end product of her hard labor be swallowed by her own god. 

Morax did not notice, looking confused as to why everyone’s eyes were suddenly raised on him.

He had not done anything particularly interesting, so why was everyone staring holes into him? 

Guizhong burst into laughter as she noticed Morax looking around in a frenzy. Ajax cracked a smile at the display and was once again pulled away by Guizhong before he could fully react. 

 _______________________

They went to a firework stand next up adorned with a variety of fireworks set up on display. The cart itself was adorned with bright red ribbons, and even had a little red mantel with golden accents set up on the simple wooden stand. It looked as if careful thought was put into the design of it, it was beautiful. 

The person selling them had a huge grin on his face and it only widened as they went up to him, “Ah, Lady Guizhong, who do I owe the pleasure?” 

She smiled and bumped Ajax to the front, “My new shidi, Ajax! Isn’t he the most precious thing you’ve ever seen!” 

His grin widened and he laughed heartily, “Yes, he sure is. I do congratulate you all for welcoming a new disciple.” 

She nodded, “Thank you! A-Qiu!” 

The old man laughed with his whole chest before he shook his head, “No need, Lady Guizhong....Anyways, what can I get for you all?” 

Guizhong grinned and inspected the array of fireworks set up on display, “Hmm,” she inspected them for a moment longer before she looked up; stars in her eyes, “Which one is the brightest?” 

He chuckled, “Always too eager for your own good, aren’t you Lady Guizhong?” 

She laughed but nodded with the same enthusiasm as before, “You know me old friend, always over-eager!” 

He chuckled and his eyes seemed to space out a bit, as if he was recalling a fond memory in the back of his mind, “Yes, I suppose that much is true….” he smiled with his eyes before he continued on, “The ones in the red packaging are the brightest.” 

“Then, I guess we’ll take those then!” 

The old man laughed but complied as he leaned back and reached his hand under the small cart. He felt around the cart before, with shaky hands, handed Guizhong a bundle of small fireworks. 

She graciously took it from his hands and was about to reach into her sleeves for her small pouch of money when she was stopped. 

The old man’s hand was on her, and surprisingly tight around her wrist, “No need...Consider it a parting gift.” 

She stared up at him with a conflicted expression, her eyes narrowing and her eyebrows furrowing (like she usually did when attempting to figure out a complex math equation in her several inventions). Ajax saw as her whole body became stiff as those boards Morax set during training; petrified as she watched him with a confused expression.

He only smiled at her before he closed the fireworks in her hands tightly, before he looked into her eyes, “It’s about my time to go, dear friend.” 

Guizhong’s smile faltered and completely shattered as her eyes filled up with unshed tears; threatening to spill out. She attempted to blink them away but, as soon as she did, they would keep flooding her eyes again. After a short minute of attempting to compose herself, with a thick voice she said, “I…do not…understand..” 

His eyes became full with nothing with pure adoration and compassion as he patted her back gently with his free hand, “Oh, c’mon! You promised you wouldn’t cry if I were to tell you about this! Are you going back on your word now, Lady Guizhong?” 

She chuckled through her tears and began to wipe at her eyes with her other hand, “Yeah, I know. But, it's just-I..” Her voice trailed off as her expression scrunched up, and before he knew it; soft glistening tears were falling down her face in waves. 

The old man let out a light laugh before he lifted his hand up and gently brushed her cheek, “Please do not cry for me, I will be just fine. After all, we both know there is more to life than death, don’t we jie-jie? ” 

She sobbed harder at the nickname and started to cry louder.

She did not reply to the old man, but eventually she hesitantly nodded. 

He cracked a grin, “See! So, please do not cry for my sake. Waste your tears on something that matters!” 

Morax and Ajax were looking at the exchange, unsure as to what to do. Ajax was not particularly good at comforting people either, especially people who were devastated at unfortunate news. 

Down in the abyss, he got taught from an early age that he should always push his emotions on the backburner, until he got proper time to let it all out, “The wraith butterflies will be attracted by the salt in your tears, do not cry boy, do you understand? 

Ajax nodded as he closed his eyes until the sadness dissipated away into nothing more than an empty feeling.  

He was taught to hold in every single emotion that hindered your survival with all of your strength, even if that meant releasing it in other ways. 

He did not know how to comfort Guizhong of all people. Even if she was so open; she was a closed book, with too many secrets to count. 

_________________________

He had talked to Cloud Retainer about it, after she helped Ajax patch up his wounds from battle (although begrudgingly). She was just about done wrapping the bandages around his torso, after having just applied a medicinal ointment to his back. He had gotten a mean scratch from a rift hound, after it had caught him unguarded. 

He was far too preoccupied with the rush of adrenaline and rush of euphoria to properly acknowledge the rift wolf behind him. One thing led to another and he had nearly gotten his back sliced open by the rift wolf’s sharp claws. 

And so, he was promptly escorted by a worried Guizhong to Cloud Retainer’s domain. She had urgently called out to Cloud Retainer, annoying her enough to come outside to see what the matter was. 

Once she came outside, to see what Guizhong was yelling about; she nearly passed out of fright. Ajax was practically drenched in blood and sweat, and the large gash in his back oozing out blood was not helping his case either. 

He looked terrible; worse off than Morax who only had a slight cut on his forearm and had managed to stay relatively clean (After Guizhong berated him for getting her last aoqun dirty with his blood… or someone else's blood? She wasn’t sure but she didn’t want him to do it). 

Cloud Retainer looked utterly perturbed if not mortified, “Go inside, right now!” 

And there he was, with Cloud Retainer tending to his wounds, or more-so, finishing tending with his wounds. 

He had recently begun to notice how distant Guizhong was, as close as he was to him. It was as if she was far off, even though she was right there besides him. She would always switch the topic when it came to discussing her own past and would divert the attention back to Morax’s past. Always talking fondly about her days attempting to befriend Morax in his early days, or the way she had been inspired by his meteor shower to create her Guizhong Ballista. 

However, even if she was friendly with everyone she met; she was closed off in a way. She wore her heart on her sleeve, but once you closely inspected it; it had locks and chains attached to it, with no key in sight. 

It had been on his mind for a while, and he had to do something to sate his curiosity, “Cloud Retainer, may I ask you something?” 

She was currently organizing her different ointment bottles and sorting them out in whatever sequence she had made up. She paused slightly before she turned around to give him a look, pushing up her glasses in the process (The newest creation from Guizhong, after she had overheard Cloud Retainer complain about her eye-sight. One thing led to another and she was currently testing out the prototypes, they were a simple red color, styled to her face perfectly), “No, you may not.” 

She turned around as fast as Ajax could blink and continued her organization. 

He asked anyway, “Why do you think Guizhong is so closed off from us?” 

She paused her religious organization, causing him to continue, “I mean, why do you think she always refuses to talk about her past with everyone. Or what her concerns are? She’s always putting everyone else before her.....Why? ” 

She let out an uncharacteristic long sigh before she turned around with a tired expression, “Guizhong is someone with a long history. She has met countless people in her lifetime, lived through wars, deaths, massacres. She has lived hundreds of lifetimes longer than yours….The reason she prioritizes everyone else is because she has seen countless people fly by her as she continues to stay still in her own time. While one is not going to say anything about it or say what is the definitive answer to such a question. One will say that she has her reasons. If you really want to find out, ask her."

Cloud Retainer gave him a last glance, filled with something he could not decipher before she continued on, "All right, so, now that this talk is done, one is going to keep organizing one's ointments.” 

Ajax was stunned. 

He had never thought about it like that. While he had anticipated that Guizhong had been through a lot, considering she was an immortal god. He had never stopped to fully realize what that could mean. 

She had seen with her own two eyes the people she loved, she cared about, she held near fade away; just like the dust she governed. 

Cruel irony once again. 

Celestia sure had a sick sense of humor. 

Guizhong had been given the gift of immortality, but at what cost. She had to witness the people she loved the most die in front of her, with nothing to stop it. She was a god, but she didn’t even know the secrets of her own immortality. 

___________________________

They walked in silence after that, not knowing what to feel. 

Guizhong was no longer as cheery as she was, she was dead silent. Her face was unexpressive, her eyes were distant and red-rimmed from crying. After what had happened, they bid the old man goodbye and dragged Guizhong away; her hand was tightly clasping the bundle of fireworks he had gifted her. 

Morax’s eyebrows here drawn in, eyes blazing with heavy concern. Ajax was sure he looked the same, he was overflowing with the feeling. 

They had settled silently on a small clearing outside the village before they sat on a large rock, covered with slight moss. Guizhong slumped down on the rock, still staring into the bundle of fireworks she had, before she began talking. 

At first it was not decipherable, just a jumble of incoherent sounds and vowels stretched together into one. But, after she began to talk louder, it was evident what she was saying, “Why? ”

Morax and Ajax exchanged a confused look, as she started to become louder, “Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, WHY!” 

Her sudden scream had every single hair on Ajax’s arm stand up, every single nerve inside of Ajax was lit ablaze. Guizhong was naturally a loud person, always bright, always shining brighter than any star he had ever seen. But, she never screamed. 

Not like this. 

Never like this. 

She finally let go of the fireworks, and they went tumbling onto the grass below the boulder. She curled into herself and started to pull violently at the locks of her hair, “WHY! WHY CAN’T I DO ANYTHING RIGHT! WHY CAN'T I-” She quieted down before audible sobs were heard. 

Ajax felt helpless as his Shijie continued to scream her lungs out. 

He felt himself being pulled in her direction by an invisible force, and he wrapped his arms around her weak form. He didn’t know what to say but he gently patted her back as her sobs became heavier and her voice was coming out in between gasps, “I can’t…I can’t..s-save..t-them shidi…please.. ” 

He nodded and continued to pat her back and rub invisible shapes into it; just like his mother used to do to him. 

A distant memory from a sweeter short-lived time. 

___________________________

Morax stared at the two, looking offly tense as he continued to see Guizhong wrap her arms around Ajax as if he was about to be blown away by the wind itself. As if he was about to disappear from her arms, if she let go even a little bit. 

Morax felt his heart clench, he didn’t know what to do. 

He was always strange when it came to ‘emotions’. 

He never quite understood them, nor why anyone went through the hassle of feeling them. They got in the way of his own survival and were something that were too much to deal with. They were something he did not understand, no matter how many times Guizhong attempted to describe them.

But even so, he suddenly got the urge to ‘cry’ as well. 

He tore his sight from the duo and switched it to see the darkening sky instead, it had been a while since he had gone outside.

 It was nice, if not a bit gloomy. 

____________________________

Guizhong had stopped crying after a few more minutes, but was in the same state as she was before. 

She was terribly still, her expression far away once more. 

It made Ajax’s stomach uneasy. 

He had not fully comprehended the extent of her and that man’s relationship. He did not know their history nor did he know what he meant to her or what she meant to him. Nor could he possibly fathom the feeling she was overcome with. 

But, it still made him feel equally as terrible about it. 

Morax and him had escorted Guizhong to her domain before they bid her farewell, both awkward in their departure. 

Now, it was just them. 

Walking in the middle of the night, feeling strangely hollow. Morax walked besides Ajax with heavy strides, nearly melodic in their sound as they hit the ground below. His eyes were just as spaced out as Ajax’s must have been. 

Ajax let out a heavy sigh, letting the air he had been holding in come out, relief replacing it instead. Then, after walking a few more steps, he realized that Morax had come to a stop. 

He stopped as well before he turned around, Morax’s gaze was for the first time after, solely fixated on Ajax, only. 

However, there was only a strange sadness in his gaze this time. 

He parted his lips lightly before he closed them again, before he said, “Ajax….how do you cry?” 

How does he cry? 

Ajax was taken aback by the sudden question. He was not expecting Morax to ask him anything, especially not about something like that. 

He blinked before he gave an honest answer, “I….I’m not really sure actually…I think it’s just a thing that naturally occurs, for me at least.” 

Morax seemed to process that before he nodded; slight disappointment filling his eyes, “Oh, then, I guess it cannot be taught..” 

Ajax’s heart clenched, and before he could stop his mouth he said, “I can! I mean, I can’t teach you. But, I have an idea.” 

Morax paused before a soft smile overcame his face, “Thank you, Ajax. ” 

Fuck, he could never say no to him. 

________________________

He didn’t have a damn clue. 

How could he make anyone cry? 

How could he make a god cry? An archon? 

How could he even do it? 

He didn’t have enough time to think when they had already arrived at Ajax’s place. He opened the door, and stepped inside, before he invited Morax inside. 

He silently stepped inside, closing the door behind him. 

Ajax’s thoughts raced through his head, and he started to look for ways to get him to cry. He looked all over his living room, in a frantic haze. While Morax stood still, waiting for something to happen. 

Fuck. 

He couldn’t let him down. 

He didn’t have the heart to let Morax down, he couldn’t bear to see Morax’s disappointment. 

He had to do it. 

He closed his eyes and attempted to look for a solution. 

His bow? 

No, that was too violent and it was best to not challenge the God of War. 

What if he pinched him? 

No, bad idea. 

What if he had a staring contest? 

No, that was childish. 

…Wait…

He rushed to his room and lifted his pillow; his radiant vision was glowing at his proximity. Ajax quickly clipped on his vision before he rushed towards Morax’s side. 

How could he do this? 

He awkwardly lifted his hands up before he paused, “Um…could you please sit down..” 

It would be much easier to reach Morax’s face, without having to reach up. He was unsure if it would work, but he was eager to test it out. He was quite versatile with his vision and had quickly mastered how to work with the hydro he was gifted by the Hydro Archon. 

He had molded it into playful displays of dancing fish and squid for his siblings and could even shape it as weapons for his use. So, there was practically nothing stopping him from attempting to make him cry. 

He carefully placed his hands tentatively at Morax’s cheeks, feeling as he tensed at his touch. He then conjured up a small bit of water and placed it inside of his eyes, and kept doing it until it started to fall down his face. 

The water trickled down his eyes, and it might have irritated his eyes enough because Morax blinked and some more water trickled down his face. 

He continued to pour the water inside of his eyes until Morax gently placed his hands on his own. It was a silent sign to stop, so Ajax did. 

He pulled his hands away and watched as Morax began to cry by himself.

Fresh water turned into salty water, as it trickled down his face. His soft cries began to turn into sobs as he started to cry even more. 

Ajax sighed slightly before he pulled the man in a tight embrace, earning a relieved sigh from the man. He held him in his arms and gently patted at his head and traced similar shapes into his back, whispering sweet nothings in his ear as Morax continued to cry. 

“...Thank…you..”

Ajax didn’t reply and only nodded, feeling his shoulder wet with warm tears. And he vaguely wondered if this was what Morax felt when he was crying into his shoulder, the weird uncomfortable feeling of it. And the sweet euphoria of getting the ability to help someone, even if just a little bit. 

If only Morax knew that he would hand him the moon if he so desired it. He would do anything for him, in this era and in his. 

He could never say no to him, no matter what. 

Chapter Text

‘The old man known to all as A-Qiu was pronounced dead this morning. He was found dead inside of his house, holding a small letter in his right hand, slightly wrinkled with age and somewhat tattered. The edges of the letter were slightly frayed and dirty.

To all that encountered the sight, the letter seemed to have been well loved. 

The contents of the letter were nothing but a small note written to the man from someone known simply as jie-jie. It was a simple thank you letter written by an illusive woman, and it depicted a tender friendship between two adventurous spirits, attempting to find more about the world. 

A lot was not known about the man known as A-Qiu in the village. No information is known of his origin, his full name, and no family came to claim his body. He was simply known as A-Qiu to the villagers of Qingce Village. 

If you have more information about this man, please contact the village chief.’ 

______________________

That was what Ajax read a week later on the town's noticeboard(him and Guizhong had set up the board after he had suggested it, mostly because he had seen similar one's in Liyue before, and because of the lack of technology, he gathered it would be a great way to get news and other such information spread around fast enough). 

His eyes skimmed through the contents of the message, feeling his stomach drop and drop, until it couldn’t no more.

He felt awful, and he didn’t even know what to do about it? 

How would he tell Guizhong? Morax? 

The both of them had locked themselves up again in their own respective domains, refusing to come outside, no matter what or who came to call them out.

Guizhong would only come out when it was time to eat, but other than that she would remain indoors. 

She would not smile anymore, and seemed like a lingering ghost, quiet and desolate, a sharp comparison to the chatter of the rest of the adepti. 

None of them even seemed to know about what had happened, and it was very unlikely that Morax or Guizhong told them about their friend’s upcoming cruel fate.

However, even if they did, none of the adepti would know how to respond to something like that. 

While they had all gone through tragedies in their long life-times, they likely had to ignore the overwhelming sadness they felt in order to survive. 

However, the both of them did not yet know A-Qiu was dead. 

It was very unlikely someone had already told them; all of the adepti were known to particularly despise strolling through town. So, none of them would have even had a chance to read the sign, before hurriedly leaving. 

The both of them seemed very fond of the man, and held him close to both of their hearts. 

So, what the fuck could he do? 

He couldn’t properly comfort them, since he had never lost anyone in his life….for sure at least.. 

And so, he did not know how to. 

But what was killing him on top of it all, was the blazing curiosity that was quickly enveloping him in flames. 

Just who was this man? And how was he connected to Guizhong and Morax? Did the both of them know more people that Ajax nor the rest of Liyue were unaware of? 

Ajax attempted to satiate his burning curiosity, but every single time, it only served to produce more and more questions. Making his curiosity burn brighter and his guilt burn holes into the pit of his stomach. 

___________________________

Ajax attempted to question the townspeople about the origins of the man nicknamed A-Qiu. But they would either cower in fear and run away, or reply, “I’m sorry my lord, but I'm afraid this humble servant does not know.” 

And so, after an uneventful day of attempting to search for answers, Ajax decided to clear his head for a while. He walked around the town for a little bit; however, because of how loud the crowds of people were, he decided to take a stroll down the small trail path that connected the village to the outside world. 

He was in the middle of walking when he heard a beautiful sound coming from the within the forest, that surrounded the outskirts of such a path.

He turned the corner and noticed a green-haired woman playing a lovely instrument, strumming and carefully playing such a calming song that was unknown to Ajax's ears. 

He stepped a bit closer to the woman, when he noticed who it was. 

It was Madam Ping, who was in the middle of playing her pipa.

She was propped up on a moss-covered rock, staring fondly at the water and observing how it flowed; imitating the very same flow with her hands as she played the pipa. 

She abruptly stopped playing, and this time turned around calmly. She gazed over at Ajax and sat up, “Shidi? What is the matter?” 

Huh? 

He had not even said anything yet, and she had already guessed it right. 

Since he was not expecting that, he paused slightly before he bowed his face in shame, “Was…it that obvious..?” 

She chuckled slightly before she nodded, “Yes, it was. Your face is in a frown, and your eyebrows are slightly pinched together, besides, you appear very…dejected..” She paused a bit before she gestured towards the rock beside her. 

He awkwardly walked over and sat beside her with a slight thump. She sat down next to him and set her large pipa on the ground, resting against the rock, “So, what is causing you distress, shidi?” 

Her gaze was piercing as he looked into Ajax’s eyes, “I….Have you heard of a man named A-Qiu?” 

Madam Ping’s eyes slightly glazed over as his name was spoken into existence, her eyebrows furrowed a bit before she clenched her eyes shut and calmed her expression down. After a while, she finally looked up to Ajax, something in her eyes was somber, “Yes, he was…a dear friend…Why do you ask, shidi?” 

Ah…

She already knew…

Ajax felt himself swallow as he thought over his next choice of words, “Well.....I don’t mean to be rude, but, um…” 

He didn’t know what to say, as Madam Ping’s eyes pierced into him. Her eyes were warm and too understanding, too soft, too melancholic, “You….want to know of his link with us, yes?” 

He swallowed once again before he gave a slight nod, causing Madam Ping to nod and close her eyes once more, “A-Qiu was brought up with humans, but was orphaned at a young age. His parents died during a war between our small village with another at the beginning of Qingce Village’s formation....Initially, many of us were strongly against bringing him with us, because it would have been better to leave him with the mortals. However, shijie strongly opposed the idea, yelling that it would not be right for us to call ourselves protectors if we did not protect and take responsibility for our mistakes....His parent’s death was because of our inadequacies and our shortcoming's as adepti, since none of us rushed in to help our people, because we were all caught up in winning over the opposing side.” 

She paused a little bit, a small tear rolling down her cheek, “But, even so, the rest of them denied it. They refused to take him in as our own. We had our rules, we had our principles, and we were stubborn. And when she attempted to talk with our Lord, he merely scoffed at the idea. And, knowing that she was not going to accept that, he put in a new rule to limit the contact with adepti and mortals. With tears in her eyes, shijie accepted the conditions. But, we all knew she really did not....Even our lord knew, at one point.” 

She wiped her cheek, with her long billowing sleeves, “No matter what, she would continue to visit the boy in secret, with every chance she got. And eventually, even our Lord himself, started to warm up to the boy. And before we all knew it, the both of them were visiting the boy in secret, bringing him gifts, clothes, and candy. I knew they were doing it, and I too warmed up to A-Qiu..”

Tears were glistening down her cheeks, creating a picture Ajax never thought he would ever see in his life, “As the years passed, we saw A-Qiu grow into a man, we saw him struggle, we saw his love, we saw his grief. We saw everything about him, and grew to care for him…” 

Madam Ping stopped, tears slid down her face in waves, falling down with a certain smoothness Ajax had never seen, and creating strange pearls as they gathered gently into the water, going down the small creek. 

They were of many different sizes and were iridescent in the moonlight as they hit them. 

Ajax had never seen someone cry pearls in his life, but then again, he guessed the adepti were a strange kind. And so, he had stopped attempting to make sense of any of the strange comings that were ongoing all around him. 

She looked ethereal, but looked strangely at peace with the world, “However, I do not think we expected for life to take him away. I think we all convinced ourselves he was going to live as long as we would, but we were mistaken…It takes a lot to be an adeptus, you stay young while the ones you care for fade into nothing but dust and bones over time. That’s why a lot of us stay away from mortals, we are….afraid....” 

____________________________

What Madam Ping told him seemed to burn into his memory, “we are…afraid....” 

Afraid? 

Ajax had never thought that warriors as strong and diligent as the adepti would ever be afraid of anything. The adepti had always seemed to convey a certain power behind their name, a hidden force behind their every step. Even their voices commanded nothing but pure power and strength. They made mountains out of nothing, crushed boulders with their hands, sculpted out vast rivers and oceans with their bare hands, flew through clouds and valleys. 

How could someone so strong be so afraid. 

Perhaps, that’s exactly what made them as strong as they are; overwhelming fear. 

Ajax knew they felt emotions, it was clear in the way they acted. But, never had it crossed his mind that they could feel fear. 

Was Zhongli afraid Ajax would one day fade into nothing but dust and passing memories? Was he afraid that the name “Ajax” would be just another story in his multitude of folk-tales? Was he ever afraid of losing Ajax? Did he ever think about it whenever they went out for lunch? 

When did he even start loving him? And did that thought alone, hurt? 

Ajax did not know, but he felt his stomach stir with disgust as he thought about it. Was that why he did not chase after him after the Golden House incident, because he was afraid? Afraid of what Ajax would say, afraid of losing him if he did return his feelings, afraid of losing him either way, if he didn’t feel the same? 

______________________________

After much thought, Ajax decided to bring them along the next day to the noticeboard. He wasn’t the best with words, at least not words spoken out loud. So, he decided that it would be best to show them. 

And so, he approached the both of them after lunch, cornering them because of a mention of a new dish he had personally made. Both of them shrugged him off initially, Morax huffing a quick, “I’ll try it later.” and Guizhong politely declined, “I’m quite full already, I’m sorry shidi.” 

He quickly changed his tune, and prompted him to come sort of clean, “Ok, I lied.....I haven’t made a new dish…It’s an emergency...” 

Their expressions became furrowed, “Lead the way.” 

_________________________

He led both of them towards the village, which earned a worried look exchanged between the both of them. They must have been fearing the worst, because their faces became tense and taut like a bow string, when he led them towards it like a starving man. 

However, their faces quickly became confused as they gazed upon the notice board.. 

Morax’s eyebrow raised, as he stared at the notice board as if it was something strange and foreign to him, slightly angry, “What is the meaning of this?” 

Guizhong herself had a puzzled expression as she alternated between staring at the Ajax and Morax, “Why have you led us here, shidi?” 

Ajax felt a lump grow in his throat, as he shakily brought his hand towards the top of the notice board, “I-um…I don’t know how to say this….so please…just-read..” 

Both of the gods stared at Ajax as if he was a crazy man, but compiled and began to read the letter at the top of the notice board. Their eyes widened as big as saucers as their gaze hung upon every single word written. 

Guizhong’s eyes started to fill up with tears as she continued to stare at the paper, devoid of any sort of emotion. Morax just stared up at the paper, with a furrowed brow, his eyes conveying more emotion than he had ever seen, though no tears were shed. 

They went silent for a while, and Ajax felt every single hair on his body stand up, as their gaze landed on him. Their faces were filled with too much emotion, so much so that it hurt to see.

Guizhong was the first to speak, “ …thank you..” her voice was as soft as the cool breeze. She slowly went up towards Ajax and embraced him in a tight hug, throwing Ajax for a loop. Ajax hesitantly hugged her back, feeling as she shook, and how warm tears fell on his shoulder. 

Morax himself just stared at Ajax, with glistening tears starting to flow down his face, almost golden in their luminescence. He did not say anything and only let himself be pulled into the hug by a crying Guizhong. 

Morax was warm and cozy, like home; a selfish part of Ajax wished he was the only one embracing him. But, he desperately pushed down his beating heart, for it did not matter at the moment.

It was about them not him. 

That’s what he had to keep telling himself, lest he be led astray by his pointless feelings for Morax. 

In this era, they were nothing to each other. And yet, Ajax’s stupid feelings kept resurfacing whenever he was around him, no matter the circumstances. And that thought, made his guilt double in size. He knew he shouldn’t be feeling this way, especially for someone who is not aware of the full extent of their relationship. And yet, he couldn’t help but be led astray by the god in front of him. 

He closed his eyes, childishly hoping for it all to be a bad dream. 

_______________________

They all returned at the crack of dawn, tired from the journey back and the emotional exhaustion that came with a situation like that. Guizhong let out a long sigh, stretching out her arms as she gazed up at the sky, “The skies are clearing up again, ha..” 

Ajax looked up alongside her, and she was right. 

The foggy sky now looked clear as the rare crystals Morax swore he did not horde.

_______________________

The very same crystals Ajax had seen being turned into different adornments that covered Zhongli’s apartment like fine china plates.

Inside of said small apartment, on every shelf there was something antique on them, whether it an old book that told many ancient scripts and poems, an antique music box made out of pure crystals and fine wood, or a simple incense burner made out of pure gold and carved expertly. 

The antiques were always a sight to behold whenever Ajax would visit.

And when he started to go out with Zhongli and buy the man many gifts and such antiques that painfully drained his bank account there were even more antiques covering the once nearly empty shelves to the point where they were nearly squishing against each other in an attempt to fit on the poor shelves. 

But, even as the many such antiques that were often coveted amongst the many scholars whom often were jealous of Mr. Zhongli's keen collection and fine eye for antiques down at the shops. 

There was one that always stuck out to him the most. 

There was always something special about the small white jade box with several engravings on it, which depicted raging dragons, dazzling phoenixes, and gentle flowers; flowers which he later identified as none other than Glaze Lilies. The engravings on the box were extremely well done, being done by a master artisan, no doubt (if Zhongli’s fine tastes did not already give it away). However, what was strange about it, was that the box was always tight shut, but seemed to be regularly cleaned if the spotless surface was not an obvious indicator of its care. 

He had inquired about the boxes' continents, which earned a pained expression, “Ah, this is…a gift, from....a....dear friend.....It houses something....special.” 

That was all he replied, which took a clueless Ajax, aback. Usually, whenever he would inquire about a specific thing inside of Zhongli’s apartment, he would go on long rants about the cultural significance, the meaning behind each one, and the history about that specific piece of his collection. But, when it came to that jade box and the continents inside, he was hesitant to explain. 

However, given the tortured expression on Zhongli's face, Ajax did not have it in himself to even attempt to pry at the subject any longer. And instead took his reply into consideration and decided to ask at a much later time, at least when their relationship was a lot more developed. 

He simply hummed, before he moved onto another piece of his collection, “...What about the incense burner?” 

Zhongli’s eyes twinkled and his gaze swept over Ajax for a brief moment before he went over and admired the incense box with fondness, “This incense burner was gifted to me by that very same dear friend. They gifted me this incense burner on a special occasion, but…unfortunately that special occasion never truly came to fruition. It was forged out of pure gold, and its engravings were made by an artisan that specialized in incense burners. Typically, incense burners are gifted on celebrations like birthdays, and the new year. But, it was not the case for me...” 

He did not elaborate on what he meant, but Ajax could not bring himself to ask either. He simply nodded and suppressed the burning jealousy at the mention of someone dear to Zhongli,“Interesting…So, it’s very special to you, then?” 

Zhongli looked back at him, with a certain intensity in his eyes, “Yes. It certainly is.” 

Childe swallowed and moved onto a small hairpin laid next to the incense burner, “What about the hairpin?” 

Something in Zhongli’s eyes appeared distant as he looked at the hairpin made out of a foreign material that shined as bright as a thousand diamonds, shaped into a strange geometric shape, “That is a remnant of someone whom I cared for deeply once, the very same whom handed me all of the other items you have listed off....She handed me this hairpin as a gift before her departure, it is one of the things that remain of her memory.” 

Ajax's eyes stared into Zhongli as he finished, feeling a pang of jealousy wash over him in waves, but, once he gazed into Zhongli’s saddened eyes, he felt those ugly feelings turn into bitter guilt. Zhongli had presumably lost someone dear to him, and here he was, being jealous of someone dead. Someone whom Zhongli cared for and possibly loved dearly. 

Whether that be platonic or not, was none of his business. 

And they were merely acquaintances, if not distant friends at this point. He had not right to feel this way, especially not when it was obvious that Zhongli seemed to grieve very deeply over the person he once treasured. 

Was he that pathetic? 

His hands itched in a desperation to envelope Zhongli in his arms, to hold him close, to comfort him. But, he didn’t and just nodded before he changed the topic, “...I see….So then....shall we head to dinner then. Thank you again, for letting me drop by Xiangsheng .” 

Zhongli chuckled, hiding his smile behind his gloved hand, “Alright, that would be great, Childe.” 

____________________________

The sky was covered with vibrant stars.

Stars that Ajax did not get to see usually, with how busy his life as a harbinger was. He rarely got time to breathe, let alone watch the stars. But, this was a nice change of pace. 

He gazed at the sky, and felt a rush of wind coming forth, causing him to shiver. A clear indicator that summer was near, with its hot days and cold nights. 

Ajax could not wait for the rushing winds that came along with summer, and the cool nights out on the porch listening to the cicadas, the plethora of delicious food he would get to eat, and most importantly the alcohol! 

“Yeah, it is quite clear out,” he said, as another rush of wind came surging forward, causing him to shiver even more. 

However, instead of suffering the cold much longer, he felt something warm envelop his back. He turned around, and realized that he was wearing a golden and brown coat. 

It was Morax’s. 

“Wear a coat next time, it's cold,” Morax replied, as he walked in front of Guizhong and Ajax. 

Ajax felt his cheeks flush and his heart stutter in his chest, he squeaked out a quick, “Ah....thank you..” 

Morax did not say anything but merely nodded as he continued in front of them, spear in hand. 

Guizhong let out a light chuckle, before she lightly ruffled Ajax’s hair. Ajax turned to look at her, and she leaned in close, before she whispered, “...I promise he’ll come around one day…Just be patient, shidi.” 

Ajax gaped at her, and didn’t get to say anything before she turned around and began to hum a tune. 

________________________

Now, Ajax had considered himself to have pretty much stamina. 

He had not become a Fatui Harbinger because of good luck, good looks, or by fate. He had gotten himself placed there by pure will and strength. 

During his early Fatui soldier days, he would have to train for hours on end, with his fellow soldiers. And would sometimes be deprived of food and water for days on end, which meant that he would have to hunt food and find fresh water for himself. His energy would be drained for days on end, because of the hordes of monsters and enemies of the Tsaritsa that swarmed in almost daily. And besides that, when he was in the Abyss, his master Skirk trained him to fight until he could not stand up again. Until, his feet and hands felt as if they had to fall off. 

Down in the Abyss he and his master Skirk had to always be on the move, be on alert, fight for their survival no matter what. 

He still remembers the first fight between him and his master Skirk. 

She threw him down, punched him, kicked him to the point where Ajax was coughing up blood, with a certain aggression that he had never seen before. She was utterly merciless, and did not allow him to tap out, did not allow him to surrender. She just kept kicking at him, slicing him with her swords, breaking and remodeling every single bone and tendon in his weak body. 

Skirk was a ruthless master, stone-cold, and far....too kind. 

She hoisted Ajax by the hem of his shirt, who was on the brink of death. She brought him up to meet her icy gaze before she spat out, “If you want to live down in the place where the light does not touch, you must grow to be strong, boy. Do you hear me?” 

He could not bring himself to nod, but merely blinked in response. She scoffed and threw him down, “Down here, there is no mercy for any creature, living or not. Not even from me…If you want to come along with me, lift yourself up and follow me, boy.” 

He could not gamble on his survival with the creatures who were more cruel than Skirk. He had to stick with someone strong, if he wanted to live. 

Ajax scrambled to his feet and limped towards Skirk, earning a wicked grin from her, “Good, boy.” 

That day, was when she had begun to teach him the Foul Legacy, the first steps into something that would come to better his battle prowess in the future, “This form is one that is equipped by the monsters of this realm....If you want to be strong, you must master it, Childe. Master it, but do not lose sight of yourself in the process, otherwise I can’t guarantee that I will not kill you myself.” 

Ajax didn’t, but that day he was sure a part of him died.

His innocence was lost to the land of darkness that day. 

__________________________

And so, Ajax did not understand.

Just how in the Abyss he could not keep up with the rest of his fellow disciples!!

Ever since he became an adepti, and subsequently became a disciple of Yanwang Dijun, he did not train or do anything of the sort. Partly because they were constantly on alert, because the rift wolf attacks were rampant. And because of the constant dealings they had to do with mortals. 

They barely had any time to train properly. 

However, after the bittersweet funeral service of A-Qiu, and a few days after that, Morax had officially announced training to start again. 

This equally excited Ajax and made him nervous. 

On one hand, he would get to train and spar with the adepti themselves, powerful and strong with their attacks and unyielding with their defensive. It would be a wonderful experience, one that he regretted not doing with any of the adepti prior to his travel back in time. 

He would have loved to spar with Xiao, or even....Zhongli himself. 

But, on the other hand, he was quite nervous about it.

Would his skills as a warrior be up to par with the rest of the adepti?

He knew he was a good fighter, and he was passionate about it. However, he had never stopped to consider if he truly was a good fighter or not. He had never stopped to see if his own skills were up to par, or even good enough. 

Prior to all of this, he was never self-conscious about his skills in battle, but, in the presence of the adepti where they were all training one on one and where they got to see all of each other’s imperfections in battle….it was quite nerve-wracking. 

He dressed up in a tight fitting simple white shuhe with red accents on the collar, put on white cuffs before he strapped them on firmly with red string, put on red pants, before he tied a matching red belt around his waist.

He went down to Huaguang Stone Forest and met up with the rest of the adepti. They were all gathered around Cloud Retainer, all in sync as they started to move in a way Ajax had never seen before. 

They were moving with a certain smoothness that Ajax could not place, with refined elegance, as if they were embodying the flow of water itself.

He recognized it as Tai-Chi, a form of martial arts which mostly just centered on bettering one's own overall health and balance. 

Ajax joined in and attempted to imitate their moves, but his imitation was rough and far too stiff. 

Cloud Retainer stopped, while the rest of the adepti kept repeating the movements.

Ajax swallowed as he saw Cloud Retainer start to come around and inspect them. 

She lightly tapped at Guizhong’s leg and shook her head, “Straighter. Your leg is going to the side, you will lose balance that way and fall.” 

She nodded and made her leg straighter as she continued, earning an approving nod from Cloud Retainer. Then, she came around and gave a slight sigh as she tapped at Ajax’s leg with the back of her sword, “Too, stiff. Let loose of your muscles, you are tightening them too much….Widen your stance, it's too closed, and straighten your legs, or you will fall.” 

Ajax attempted to follow her commands, but ultimately it earned another sigh as she pushed her glasses back up, “Nevermind, this one will show you.” 

She pulled him by the arm and led him away from the rest of the group.

It seemed as if, even though he had been training all his life in combat and has been fighting ever since he was 14, the formation all of his skills were built upon, was one that was very unstable. He knew it would all come down if he did not train it properly, so he followed, as she led him away harshly. 

She sighed, “It seems, one’s work is really cut out for oneself….One will start off with a basic stance, follow along to the best of your capabilities, young one.” 

She squatted down, and spread her legs open, her feet facing forward and to the side a little. Then, she placed her hands into tight fists and put them at the front of her, “This is called a Flat Horse Stance. Now, try and copy it.” 

She sat up straight once again, and stared daggers at Ajax, with a hidden mirth underneath her stare. He squatted down, and made sure to widen his stance as he placed his hands straight out in front of him. 

He looked back up after he did so, earning a light hum from Cloud Retainer, “Alright, now, hold that until one tells you to stop.” 

Ajax nodded. 

After a few minutes, he felt as if his legs and arms were on fire, they were starting to shake a little bit from how difficult it was to keep his body that way. 

He should have not agreed to it. 

Ajax was not sure how many minutes passed, or it had already been an hour, but he remained in that position. Cloud Retainer watched him carefully and would correct his stance whenever his legs would start to cave in. 

“Stop.” 

He stood up and immediately felt like his legs and arms were on fire (so much so, that he was grateful he had stretched prior to this...because if he hadn’t, he would likely be feeling it even more than he already was). 

Cloud Retainer nodded, “Good. Now do this.” 

She turned to the side, before she leaned down, with one of her knees bent and the other pin straight, with her fists to her side. 

Ajax followed her, and did his best to imitate her stance, earning a shake of her head. She kicked his leg slightly, “Straighter. You are bending your leg too much.” 

He did his best to straighten it, until Cloud Retainer hummed, “This is a bow stance. Now, punch with your fist, and alternate between your hands.” 

Ajax nodded and punched with his hands, alternating between his different hands, sweat dripping down his neck, hair starting to stick to his forehead, skin flushed red. 

_______________________

After he was done, he felt as if every muscle in his body was aching. Cloud Retainer had been through the other different stances with him, and corrected his posture. Ajax had never felt that sore in his life, and that's saying something. Usually, he would brush any pain he felt off, comparing it to the absolute hell that was the after-effects of his Foul Legacy. 

However, now his Foul Legacy could not even compare to the pain he felt when he was done. 

He never knew how much martial arts could hurt…

He joined the rest of the group, and this time had an easier time following along. He went next to Guizhong, and made eye contact with her. 

He must have looked awful, because after Guizhong spotted him, she let out a light laugh (earning a good scolding from Cloud Retainer, who yelled at her to straighten her posture more and pay attention). 

But, the worst part of it all was that they were not done. 

Not, in the slightest. 

After this, they went on a run up a mountain carrying a heavy log of wood strapped to their backs, alongside Sky Bracer, who led the group. 

He was soft-spoken but equally strict just like Cloud Retainer. And Ajax was finding it hard to hate his pretty face when he told them to run up and down the mountain a 4rth time.

And besides that the good thing about Sky Bracer was that he would do it with them, with 2x the amount of wooden logs on his shoulders…..and a part of Ajax wondered if he could do that with living beings….not that he would want to know….ahem…

Sky Bracer wiped the sweat off of his brow and hurried up the mountain alongside everyone else, looking just as ethereal as he did. 

That was another thing he did not understand about adepti. 

Just how the heck could they always look so regal even while sweating or even if they fell down. Sky Bracer’s hair flowed like a river as he ran, it looked like wispy waves of translucent water, his eyeliner dripped down slightly, his shirt was slightly unbuttoned revealing a perfectly sculpted out collarbone…..and Ajax tripped when he heard Sky Bracer pant.....as it sounded far too inappropriate to Ajax's ears. 

They ran up and down the mountain 2 more times after that, and took a short break inside of a small creek. Ajax ran into it and sighed when he felt the cool water touch his warm face; shivering slightly as he felt it refresh him. After taking the log off of his shoulders, he felt 10x lighter and as if he could run faster than before, but it quickly wore off and he felt the strain in his muscles afterwards. 

After the short break, they went over to Mountain Shaper alongside Moon Carver who taught different fighting techniques and tips. A few minutes into the lesson, they were thrown into a spar with one another. 

Ajax was sparring with Madam Ping. 

While, Guizhong was sparring with Cloud Retainer. 

Guizhong and Cloud Retainer were first, and immediately Guizhong rushed in with her practice sword and started to strike and slash at Cloud Retainer. While, she immediately parried Guizhong’s attacks with her own sword. 

Guizhong was much sloppier with her swordsmanship, but she was very explosive with her strikes. While Cloud Retainer was more coordinated with her attacks and was more elegant with her strikes. 

The spar lasted a while, but the winner was obvious: Cloud Retainer. 

While Guizhong was a much better warrior than Ajax expected (since he had never seen Guizhong fully in battle, and because she preferred to strike with her inventions). But, she was still lacking in many ways as opposed to Cloud Retainer’s purposeful strikes. However, Guizhong had the potential to be a great warrior, if she practiced some more. 

Cloud Retainer scoffed and withdrew her wooden sword from Guizhong’s neck, “You still have much to learn, young one.” 

Guizhong laughed before she was helped up by Cloud Retainer, “Thank you for teaching me!” 

Cloud Retainer humphed before she turned around, earning a chuckle from Guizhong. She then went up to Ajax and wrapped a shoulder around him, “Wasn’t I awesome shidi!” 

Ajax laughed and nodded, “Yes, you were the best, shijie! ” 

Guizhong stuck her tongue out, sensing the teasing lilt in Ajax’s voice; earning a chuckle from him. 

He was up next, all of the exhaustion in his muscles faded away; when the proposition of a battle was upon him. He stood equipped with a wooden spear, facing Madam Ping. He waited to see if she would rush in, but when she didn’t, he did instead. He planned out fast strikes towards her, and parried her own fast attacks with ease. 

Madam Ping was a formidable opponent, her attacks were strong and fast. If Ajax wasn’t a battle enthusiast, then he would be afraid of getting destroyed by her steady attacks. She was just as fast as Ajax was in battle, and quickly gained the upper hand, as the exhaustion he was fighting down waned down on him. 

She held him pinned down, with her wooden spear against his throat. He laughed out and held his hands out in surrender, “I lost..” 

Madam Ping smiled before she grabbed his hand and hoisted him up, “You were a good opponent shidi. You’re just a tad bit reckless with your attacks but, you’re very quick on your feet. I almost couldn’t block your attacks in time.” 

“I could say the same about you! You were awesome!” 

Madam Ping laughed unabashedly, her eyes glistening with joy, as her teeth flashed through her usual tight-lipped smile. He had never seen her so happy before, but it was something beautiful. 

Ajax felt his heart flutter with joy. 

_________________________

After that, they sparred a few more times: Ajax won against Guizhong, while Cloud Retainer won over Madam Ping. 

Then, they were finally training with Morax himself. 

They were learning how to properly wield each of their individual weapons. Since Morax was the God of War, he knew of the many different ways of how to properly use weapons and minimize injuries while equipping different weapons. 

Ajax was aware that the God of War was very adept at using all of the weapons, but preferred to use a spear as opposed to any other weapon. But, Ajax never knew he would actually see him using every single weapon in person. 

It was another experience to read about it and to see it personally. 

Morax expertly used a spear to destroy the targets he had set up, and destroy countless of poor trees with the swipe of a broadsword, or even cut straight through trees with a sword, or even shoot every target with ease with his bow, and use a catalyst to create countless of different targets using pure geo energy. 

Ajax felt even more inclined to fight him one on one. 

He knew Morax was this all-powerful being, he had heard the tales, he had heard it all. But, he couldn’t have expected the sheer amount of power he really had in his fingertips. 

If he wanted too, he could easily kill anything he touched. 

That level of power made Ajax shiver with delight and he grew jealous of those who got to see Morax towering over them and commanding them to surrender. 

Ajax used every single weapon with ease, earning a proud look from Guizhong as he perfectly wiped through the targets they had set out for him. While the others attempted to keep up with him. 

And he would be lying if he said that he did not like the fond look Morax unconsciously threw his way, making him feel spoiled rotten. 

But, when it came to using the bow…

Ajax attempted to make a perfect shot….it ended up landing in the next tree nearby. 

It took everyone aback, as he punched an arrow and managed to get it straight through the middle….eh…he would take that as a win. 

It hurt his hand, but any win was his for the taking. 

He carefully brought the bow down alongside the bag of arrows and didn’t even get to breathe., when he felt someone yank his hand. He yelped and stumbled until he felt something hard against his face. 

He carefully looked up to see Morax staring at him, with wide-eyed concern painting his features delicately. He didn’t get to say anything as Morax grabbed at his hand and carefully inspected it, “You are injured…”

Ajax felt his face flush at the proximity, but chuckled, “Yeah…I guess I might have overdone it..” 

Morax gazed at him, his slitted pupils raking up and down his body. He nodded his head solemnly, “Yes, you did. That is not the proper way to shoot an arrow.” 

Ajax smiled and slightly trembled when felt the slight energy that poured into his body, and before he knew it, the small cut on his hand was closed up in an instant. He paused for a second before he smiled towards Morax, “..Thank you.” 

Morax shook his head and in his baritone voice he said, “No need”, the tone of his voice made Ajax shiver as he saw Morax’s gaze drop down towards Ajax’s…lips? 

Or was that merely his imagination…perhaps he was staring at his chin? 

Ajax shook down his wandering thoughts and pushed down his hammering heart. 

Now wasn’t the time to be thinking about such ludicrous and salacious thoughts, he was training for Celestia’s sake!! 

Morax’s eyes peered into his own and a certain gentleness was emitted in the way he looked at Ajax, “..I will show you the proper way…” 

“Thank you…I would appreciate that..” 

Morax nodded and grabbed Ajax by the hand. He led Ajax towards a separate training area, while Ajax cherished the warmth that radiated out of the palm of Morax’s hand. 

It was like the warm sun after a nice dip in a river, like a warm blanket, like everything Ajax ever dreamed about. He felt his heartbeat quicken as he attempted to wash down the lonely feeling in his chest with the warmth of Morax’s hand. 

Because after all, no amount of warmth could ever compare to the gaping loneliness Ajax felt. He blinked back the water that rushed to his eyes, as he felt the tenderness overstimulate all of his prior feelings. It was just like that night in Morax’s domain, all over again. 

But, he couldn’t help it. 

The sorrow that he thought he had long since locked behind iron bars came seeping in when he least expected it, and Ajax felt something warm rush down his trembling lip, as he bit back the sobs that were threatening from escaping his lips. He blinked back the tears, and watched as the colorful sky and the beautiful trees warped into a messy painting. 

Gods, he was hopeless...

Chapter Text

Ajax looked everywhere for something to focus his attention on. 

Anything at all; anything to distract himself from the swirling memories in his head. 

But the colorful trees that covered the landscape in its mellow shades of ochre to emerald green, the tall yellow grass waving as the wind swept by it, and the fresh air that washed past him, made the heavy feeling hidden deep inside of chest bubble up like boiling water. With his free hand, Ajax wiped at the tears attempting to fall out of his eyes, with the ends of his billowing sleeves. 

Everything melded together, creating a sick painting right in front of his eyes; like those bizarre paintings Ajax had seen on his voyage in Fontaine. They were mere splatters of pigment on a canvas, but had clear intent to show a landscape in whatever abstract form they referred to it as. Just like those paintings, the colorful world in front of him was melding together, creating the illusion of something that was.

He was growing delirious by the second, barely registering the baritone voice of his beloved god begin, “We are almost there, do not fret.” 

Ajax looked up with his tear-filled vision to see his beloved god’s back, strong and firm; like the very same stone he created with his bare hands. His god's back was covered by a more form-fitting brown shuhe with golden and white designs embroidered elegantly on the ends of his sleeves, and his back. Designs that depicted elegant dragons with powerful long sharp claws and of dainty water lilies covered his ensemble. 

Even without his usual formal wear and even with the slight dirt that covered both his pants and boots, he managed to look regal. And that fact alone made something in him shake with a certain intensity he could not place. He would always look gorgeous no matter what, he would always exude power and elegance no matter what he wore.

He was sure of it. 

The god pulled him a little rougher than expected and he stumbled forward, a soft yelp escaping past his lips, tearing himself from his thoughts. The reason for this was simple, they were crossing a small creek, covered with wild flowers of a multitude of colors and green shrubbery that covered the small creek. His god did not say a thing, merely holding his wrist tighter with his hands, careful not to put too much pressure. If he would, there was no guarantee that his wrist bone would not snap under his strength, that made a shiver pass through Ajax's whole body. 

A few seconds later, Morax came to a stop. His grip on his wrist did not loosen, but merely tightened even more.

Ajax looked up at the god, hoping to see what was the matter, he gasped. Before them was something he had never seen ever in his life; a soft sun warmly blanketed the scenery before them in a golden light, there was a tall tree covered with a strange blue color to it glowing ever so daintily, the rush of a waterfall was heard, and just a little ways ahead Ajax saw a lake, its color a vibrant cobalt blue. 

The god loosened his grip before he turned to face him. 

His long messy hair was tied into a tight ponytail, held together by a small wooden hairpin with flowers engraved onto the wood, his eyeliner was slightly smudged from the vigorous exercise he was probably subjected to, his eyebrows were slightly furrowed and his molten eyes oozed a certain softness. 

Even now, his god was just as beautiful as before; a beauty in his own right, a stunning flower. The feeling in Ajax's became harder to hold back, how desperately he desired to pull in the god and embrace him, never letting go as he breathed him in. How desperately did he wish to kiss the god, until his own mouth became numb, and red. How desperately he wished to wrap himself around the god and bite down gently on his collarbones, hearing as his god cried out in pleasure. 

'I love you.' 

The words he so desperately wanted to whisper into his god's ears, threatened to spill past his lips. The thought he had pushed back into the recesses of his mind, came forth once again, desperately attempting to escape his mouth.

But, he couldn't, not now. 

He pulled his sight away from the god, deciding to focus on the pain in all of his limbs instead, and the soreness that would most likely follow him the next day. He felt the rush of tears sting at his eyes, before any tears could escape, he rushed to close them. Stubbornly refusing for the tears to slide down his cheeks, letting the pain in his muscles overtake his sensations, that way, he would not feel anything else but that. 

A few seconds seemed like eternity, Morax finally let go of his hand, and presumably leaned down, as he could feel the warmth of his breathe on his lips, “Ajax, we are here….are you alright?” his breathe smelled of sweet chamomile tea; it reminded Ajax of warmer days. 

But the gods question remained unanswered, as Ajax's thoughts slipped right out of his grasp once more. The god stilled a bit, before asking once more, his voice soft and gentle, "Are you alright?"

Of course he was okay.

Why wouldn’t he be? 

Morax and Guizhong had lost a dear friend of theirs, and had both seen the horrors humanity had to offer the world, they had both seen their companions get massacred before their eyes, they had to endure so much. Everyone had to endure so much, go through so much, see too much. 

So, why was he pitying himself?

Just because he was homesick and missed a man he himself chose to leave behind and walk away from? 

He was being an idiot, a giant one. 

Everyone around him were going through and had been through travesty after travesty, and yet despite all of their tragedies, they were not wobbling in their own self-pity. They were not breaking down crying just at the slightest provocation, so why the hell was he? 

And yet.

He could not stop the tears from sliding down his cheeks, as the feeling of bitter loneliness filled his system, like a giant ocean tide. 

He was pathetic. 

He froze into his spot and stood still; too stubborn to say that he was and too miserable to say he wasn’t. 

He let the tears slide onto his lips, tasting the mild saltiness of it, eyes still tightly shut, refusing to budge no matter what.

He did not want to go through this anymore. He didn’t want to be so damn depressed over nothing, Zhongli was still not dead yet, he could still save him.  

And besides, he had everyone here to support him and stick by him. So, why was there still this heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach, eating away at him, until the pain became unbearable? 

“Ajax, are sure you're alright?” Morax’s voice rang in, pulling him back, the way it always did. 

His voice was soft like a whisper, nothing like the stern and loud voice he projected during meetings and during predictions. No, something about this voice sounded softer and ever so worried.  

Just like-

Ajax would not contain the evident sob that escaped his lips, he curled into himself, placing his face into the palms of his sounds, desperately attempting to shove back the sobs that were threatening to escape his throat. 

He collapsed on the floor, curling into himself further as he brought all of his legs to his chest, burying his face into his knees. 

Thoughts swirled around his head, memories he so desperately attempted to cling onto, no matter how much time passed. Memories of him and Zhongli down by the harbor chatting away about everything and nothing at all, by the many beaches of Liyue collecting starconches, having dinner at the Wanmin Restaurant ordering nearly everything on the menu, going to each other’s apartment and sharing a warm cup of tea. The lingering stares between the two of them, the butterflies in his stomach whenever Zhongli would slightly brush up against him, the excited feeling he would get whenever Zhongli would ask to go out to dinner with him, the kiss shared between the two of them. And the night spent afterwards, where Ajax felt nothing but the searing pleasure and the feeling of Zhongli against him, their hands entwined together, the day after and the brush of a warm hand brushing through his scalp, and the promise to be.

He remembered it all.  

________________________________

“Say, Zhongli….this might be a bit imprudent of me but, what exactly are we? I don’t want to misconstrue anything, so….” Ajax had said, lying in Zhongli’s bed, the silken sheets pulled over his lower torso. 

Zhongli’s eyes flitted down towards Ajax, as his eyes tore themselves from the pages of his book. He looked at Ajax, and sighed, pulling his glasses down his face and placing them onto the nightstand beside him, “Well, we are what most people would label ‘lovers’, no?” 

Ajax felt his face heat up as his eyes avoided Zhongli’s intense stare, “Well, yeah….I just-wanted to make sure…”

Immediately, he could feel the intensity of Zhongli’s stare burn a hole through his skull, followed by a warm hand on his head, playing with the hairs tenderly, “Ajax. I love you so much my soul cannot bear to be apart from you,” his hands strayed south and started to stroke his cheek, “I adore absolutely everything about you, from your smile, to the way you talk about your family so fondly, to the kindness you so desperately try to hide away, to the way you talk about your passions so reverently to me, to your thirst for power and battle, and even the way you scream out my name so reverently from your lips,” he traced his lips with his thumb, gaze fond and loving, “Do you believe me, now?”   

Ajax felt himself choke, he had never imagined Zhongli in a million life-times say anything so scandalous! He sputtered for a moment, the butterflies in his stomach fluttered more than he had imagined they would, he swatted Zhongli’s hand away, blushing furiously. Sputtering pathetically at the man before him, “O-kay…..I believe you, shut up please...” 

Zhongli chuckled, the sound warm and fond, “I was just making sure, dearest treasure.”  

Ah..

Ajax’s heart soared when he heard the term of endearment, and the giddy feeling he had been repressing finally started to rise up into his stomach. Ajax buried his face into the pillow, and groaned, earning another chuckle from Zhongli (smug bastard). 

Then, he felt a warm hand pass through his hair, and slightly pull at his hairs earning a deep shiver to pass through his entire body. Zhongli chuckled once again, but continued his ministrations and scratched his scalp slightly with the ends of his nails, causing another shiver to pass through his spine. 

Zhongli continued on, before he moved near Ajax and wrapped his hand tightly around his waist, burying his face into Ajax’s chest. Zhongli breathed into his clothes, as if he was attempting to commit the smell to memory and let out a small sigh of relief, causing him to bury his face deeper into Ajax’s chest. 

Ajax eventually wrapped his own hands around the man’s head, feeling slightly embarrassed at the predicament, “Zhongli? Zhongli? We have work in an hour, we can't slack off… ” 

Zhongli did not say anything and merely dug himself deeper into his chest. 

Ajax paused slightly, before letting out a small huff, “Fine. only for a few more minutes, then we have to go to work.” 

Zhongli did not say anything once again, dead asleep it seemed. Ajax to let out a small sigh and place his head on top of Zhongli’s, dozing off into his own slumber. 

After a few more minutes, Zhongli opened his eyes and gazed up at Ajax’s face, the face of his beloved, his soulmate. 

He looked the same as he did all of those centuries before, the only difference was that this Ajax was not an adeptus. 

He did not remember Guizhong, merely regarding her as a Goddess of Dust he read in a history book once. He did not remember Xiao, merely raising an eyebrow at the name once Lumine had brought him up. He did not remember Cloud Retainer, citing her as an adepti he had seen a figurine of down in the market. He did not remember Sky Bracer, the name bringing a confused expression, wondering if Sky Bracer was the name of a dish. He did not remember Mountain Shaper nor Moon Carver, only recalling that he had heard a play about them. This Ajax did not remember their history, did not remember what he so reverently called his family, the adepti.

This Ajax did not remember Zhongli. 

_______________________

Zhongli was not sure what to expect after so long. 

Living century after century was getting tiring, he was getting worn out. All of those beloved to him had long since perished before his eyes, those left had isolated themselves in the mountains. 

Zhongli did not remember the last time he had seen them in person, only appearing to them through his dreamscape. 

It had been ages since they all got together and talked about what business or the trouble they had found themselves in. It had been ages since Zhongli got to enjoy the sweet feeling of sitting at a table where warmth was so easily spread; where he felt welcomed and at home. 

But, Zhongli could not blame them. 

After The Archon War, and then, after The Cataclysm ravaged their land. After suffering loss after loss, death after death, misfortune after misfortune; it hurt too much to be with everyone all over again.

Celestia knows how much it pained him.

And after it, there was a period of time after the many wars where he himself committed himself to total isolation, ignoring those around him, wallowing in nothing but bittersweet memories. 

Being around everyone again, reminded Zhongli of the better times, where everyone was alive. A time where Guizhong would laugh care-freely and attempt to lighten up the mood with her antics, where Cloud Retainer would let loose for once and go along with Guizhong, where Madam Ping would play her zither and gaze fondly at Guizhong, where Sky Bracer, Mountain Shaper, and Moon Carver would share more about what interesting things they had seen. 

A time where his beloved would laugh freely, a wide toothy-smile sprawled on his face, sat next to Morax who felt enamored with the wild spirit next to him, unsure of the extent of his feelings for the man. 

A feeling he soon came to understand as the time passed, and the wounds healed. 

But, Ajax. 

Ah, Ajax. 

He missed him, dearly. 

His beloved, his soulmate, his other-half.  

Morax had spent ages attempting to find something to fill the void he felt ever since he was brought into Teyvat. A huge gaping void filled with endless nothingness, with a feeling he would later recognize as loneliness. 

He was overwhelmed when Ajax came into his world; a splash of color into his mostly gray world. Morax thought he would only ever adore Guizhong; she was the first to come into his life and pull him out of the bitterness that was his hatred for the world. But, when Ajax had burst into his life, everything he had thought he knew was proven false. 

Ajax was a raging flame, eternally blazing with the light of a thousand phoenixes.

He was reckless, impulsive, caring, gentle, loving, emotional, determined, hard-headed, loyal, stubborn, bloodthirsty, and his sense of justice was unlike anything Moraax had ever seen. His hair was bizarrely red, turned into burning embers once in contact with sunlight. His face was distinctly handsome, if not a bit boyish, his jaw shape was sharp, his eyebrows equally as sharp, eyes doe-like, lips plump and slightly chapped, smile too wide, freckles peppering his face, body well-built and scarred over with countless wounds. His voice was light and teasing as he talked carefreely to Guizhong and Morax, excited and eager to inform them of his new discovery. 

Zhongli loved him so much. 

He was everything to him, his hope and the brightest star to him; shining eternally as he saw him from within dark corners. He grabbed at his star and held him close inside of his arms, feeling the warmth and brilliance emitting from him. 

He clung on, no matter what. 

But as time began to pass, the light from his dearest was starting to wane, starting to fade out. He attempted to grab at his dying star, reaching out to claw him back to him, reaching out to keep him forever by his side. 

But, no matter what, his beloved star slipped past his fingers, his bright light fading away until there was nothing left of him; mere memories of his brilliance remained. 

Zhongli was not sure what to do afterwards, caught in a standstill. Wishing to go back in time, to see his beloved star once more. Wishing he had clung onto his beloved a bit longer, wishing he had held him closer than he had, wishing for more time.

The centuries passed, Ajax was merely a name in everyone else’s mouth, a fleeting memory just like the others. The adepti would rarely talk about Ajax ever since, feigning to remember who he was. Some even scoffed at his name spitting at his memory, wanting to forget about the reckless man they once knew. While others blinked back tears at the mere mention of his name, wishing to forget in order to get the pain they felt in their chest to stop. 

Zhongli felt as if his heart was ripped out all over again, everytime his name was brought up during meetings in his own dreamscape, which nearly made the dream collapse and the ground underneath them to shake, earning exchanged glances between the adepti.

Zhongli was sure that after that slip up, they made a pact to never mention his name because they never did. 

At least, not in front of Zhongli. 

Many more years passed, he lost all hope to ever feel that way again, sure he would never feel like that for another ever again. Many suitors propositioned him to a night in bed, where they would feel nothing but the pleasure and the warmth of another, but he refused. 

Ajax was his only.

Ajax would be the only one he would ever love, the only he would ever desire. 

The years passed and Zhongli settled into the monotonous way of his own life. He had made a deal with the Goddess of Love, the Tsaritsa herself, in order to give up his rule over Liyue; the city Ajax dreamed would come into fruition. 

He hoped to live a mortal life, to give up his godhood. There was no war to be won, no threat to his people, and no meaning to his existence anyways. He was going to live a mortal life, and be a nobody, just like he always wanted. He was going to fade into the shadows, and life with the common folk. 

He had even gone as far as to get a job as a Funeral Consultant, which he felt was fitting. He had long since been surrounded by death, and as a twisted turn of fate, had come to know many things about the customs and traditions of a burial. He had gone up to his boss, had talked about what he knew and got the job in no time. 

She was a peculiar girl, too comfortable with death, walking the thin line between death and the mortal realm. However, she provided enough entertainment to distract Zhongli from his own mind and he was reminded of an old friend in her. They were both equally as enthusiastic and cheerful, but in completely different ways. 

He thought he was going to continue his routine forever. 

Until he got a letter from the Tsaritsa: 

Dear Zhongli, 

I hope you have been doing well in these past few years.

From what I’ve heard you have settled into the humans quite nicely, even going as far as getting a job as a Funeral Consultant, how interesting. I am doing great as always, but I willstop with the small talk now and get to business. I have an addition to the contract we have formed, if it would not be too much of an annoyance. I formally inquire, would you be willing to be a guide to my dearest 11th?

You see,  he is quite the personality and always causes a ruckus wherever he goes, quite the bloodthirsty thing in fact. 

And while, I understand your plan from what he had formally agreed prior, I cannot have him causing such unnecessary ruckus that would draw too much attention to our plan so early on. My dear nation, Sne zhnaya is already in quite hot-water with my dearest 8th’s encounter with the Anemo Archon, Barbatos.

However, since you do require there to be a distraction from your plan to retire from your position as the Archon of Liyue, my dearest 11th is and will be perfect for the plan. I just simply do not wish for him to tarnish Snezhnaya's sacred name nor earn himself a bounty directed straight at his head.

He is precious to me as are my other Harbingers. 

And so, would you be willing to guide him around before the time is right? 

Best regards,

Tsaritsa 

Zhongli was not sure how to react to the letter before him, on one hand, he did not want someone like her 11th to be too obvious. If he was as bloodthirsty and problem causing Zhongli did not want him causing a ruckus before the main event had even started. However, on the other hand, if it meant that he would be able to free himself from his age-old shackles and life freely as a mortal, then he would take it. 

He pondered it for a while, before finally coming to a decision. 

A few weeks later, he stood still on the docks of Liyue harbor, watching as a distinctly Snezhnayan-styled boat strolled onto Liyue’s shores. It was quite the large vessel, nearly as tall as Captain Beidou’s own boat, The Crux. 

The boat finally anchored down, and the doors of the boat burst open, revealing several masked Fatui staring at Zhongli head on, “Who are you?” 

The person who said it was a woman, a long reddish brown braid draped over one of her shoulders, dressed in violet and black clothing. Zhongli merely cleared his throat and extended his hand, a professional smile taking over his face, “Hello, my name is Zhongli. I was assigned to be the 11th’s guide, pleasure to meet you.” 

The lady did not take his hand and merely nodded, ignoring Zhongli and marching up to sit onto the harbor ground. Zhongli blinked before he paused, following the lady with his eyes. He had expected that cold of a welcome, and vaguely pondered if it was the right boat he was supposed to be looking for-

Before he could think anything else, a soft chuckle was heard; the voice was light and airy, like spring, teasing and light-hearted and painfully familiar like an old memory, “Now, now, Katya, that is no way to treat our most trusted guide, is it?” 

Zhongli whipped his head around faster than he had ever. 

His eyes widened as he recognized the man in front of him, bright red curly locks that burned like embers, with a small mask tied to his head, wide toothy smile, light freckles peppered all over his cheeks, dressed in mostly light gray and white except for the red scarf around his neck, his eyes that familiar shade of dull blue. 

Ajax.

It was Ajax. 

It was his Ajax. 

It was his beloved. 

Zhongli’s heart was hammered in his chest, his throat was dry, his palms were sweaty and his eyes watered with unshed tears. 

The man stepped forward, and eagerly grabbed Zhongli's hand. His palm was cold, his fingers were thin, long and calloused, and his fingernails were neatly trimmed. 

Zhongli felt as if he had been thrown into a loop; for the first time in centuries, he felt as if the words were trapped inside of his throat, unable to escape their prison. He was transfixed onto the man in front of him, and he barely managed to keep up with the firm handshake he gave him, “Nice to meet you, Mr. Zhongli. Call me Childe, the 11th of the 11th Fatui Harbingers, at your service.” 

The feeling in his stomach deflated as his heart began to sink, “Childe?” 

The man stopped in his steps, his smile slightly slipping off, “Yes, that is my nickname, doesn’t it fit me quite well? While Tartaglia is my official title, I prefer to be called Childe. Because in my opinion Tartaglia sounds too formal, isn't that right Mr. Zhongli?” 

His heart reached rock-bottom, the tears dissipated, he felt twice as miserable as he initially had felt. He had accidentally mistaken another man for his beloved, of course this man was not his beloved. It couldn’t be, his beloved had long since ceased to exist a long time ago. It would not make sense of him to be alive once again.  

His eyes were the same color, a deep and empty ocean color and the distinct long opalescent horns that shined like rainbows were gone. 

He was not Ajax.

He was not his Ajax. 

Zhongli regained his composure and slapped on his professional smile once more, “Yes, it is quite the fitting nickname Mr. Childe…Now, shall we go?” 

Childe grinned, “Lead the way, Mr. Zhongli.” 

The days progressed, the more of he saw of his beloved Ajax inside of Childe. He saw it in the way he fought, in the way he listened attentively to Zhongli’s ramblings, the way he treated others, the way he gazed at Zhongli, the way he held his chopsticks, to his lust for power and battle.

It was driving him crazy.

Morax was slipping past tightly secured chains. 

His obsession and possessiveness over the man for the last hundreds of centuries had finally come back full circle, unable to be contained behind a placid smile. The aching desperation to hold the man he loved so dearly until he could not take it anymore was starting to leak into the way he purposefully lingered his touches with Childe. The clawing madness that was love for him, started to fizzle out and pour onto the way he ate the man up with his bare eyes.

It becoming harder to restrain himself from the delicious meal in front of him. Especially when the man in front of him would lick at his lips so seductively, and would remain eye contact as he would lean down to pick up an item he accidentally dropped onto the floor, and the way he would slide back up so slowly and teasingly. And the way he would unconsciously lean back his head when he laughed, revealing an unblemished neck, and how desperately he wished to bite into it. He could almost feel his teeth burn whenever he saw it. 

But, it was not his beloved. 

Zhongli knew he should not feel that way for the man, he was merely supposed to be a piece in his elaborate chess game, a small piece of his much larger plan. But then again, the man who was going to be coming to Liyue and indirectly helping him in his master plan was not supposed to look exactly like his beloved. 

It was becoming harder and harder to hold his instincts behind tight bars. 

And sometimes, on calm days, Zhongli could feel the guilt he had been pushing down, come up once again. He knew he was betraying the man that was starting to consider him a friend, no longer business partners after spending so many afternoons together. Zhongli might be somewhat ignorant to the feelings of mortals, still largely unaware of how to act in certain situations, he was aware that revealing the extent of his plan could potentially hurt Childe. 

It would ruin his friendship with Childe, it would push him away; and with him those feelings of Zhongli as well. It would be beneficial for Zhongli to distance himself from Childe; after all, it was blurring his vision of the future, it was blurring his goal. It was hindering his progress to finally fully surrender himself to the mortal world. 

But, Zhongli wanted to keep deluding himself and wanted to keep the only light in his dark room close to him forever. He wanted to bask in the sweetness of having company again, he wanted to pretend he was with his beloved once more, he wanted to pretend everything was fine when it was not. 

However, as all things do. 

They come to an end, and change with time. 

After a rough afternoon, spending time with Childe collecting starconches, and hearing himself ramble on about the many history facts relating to the starconches themselves. 

Childe turned to him and shoved a huge starconch in his face. Zhongli was startled at first, stepping back slightly, blinking at the strange thing in front of him. He slightly adjusted his vision and carefully retreated it from Childe’s hands, the star on the shell was bright and strangely opalescent, glittering rainbows when the light hit it, and the color surrounding the rest of the shell was ocean blue. 

Childe looked up at him and grinned, “Isn’t it gorgeous! I found it buried in the sand near the tide, isn’t it beautiful Xiansheng?”

Zhongli nodded, making sure to pretend to not feel the way his chest hammered in his chest from the sight of Childe’s smile alone, “Yes, it is quite the beauty. I can’t say I have found a starconch this vibrant in all of my life.” 

Childe nodded, and snatched it back from Zhongli’s hands. He held it in his hand for a while before long tendril-like hands materialized in Childe’s own hands. They looked strange and were entirely made out of water. They danced around a few times before they took the form of hands and grabbed the shell, holding it up to Childe’s eyes, “Yeah…You know, in a way, it almost reminds me of Morespesok. Back there, there are quite a lot of these littered near the coasts. It's the only thing familiar about Liyue, if I'm honest.” 

Zhongli nodded, eyes fixated on the water before Childe, “Yes, I have heard the tide carries many of these shells to Snezhnayan and Inazuman shores.” 

Childe nodded, “Yeah, maybe that’s why,” holding the shell in his own hands now, the water-made hands seemingly disappeared into thin air. 

Zhongli blinked before he tentatively asked, “Childe…may I please ask you something?” 

Childe tore his gaze from the shell, eyes on Zhongli, his head tilted cutely to the side and he nodded, “Yeah, sure. Ask whatever question you’d like Xiansheng, I don’t mind.” 

Zhongli paused for a minute, making sure to choose his next words carefully, “Are you able to mold whatever you’d like with your hydro vision?” 

Childe stared at Zhongli, his eyes piercing and hesitant, “...Why do you ask?” 

Zhongli cleared his throat out, “I....had someone dear to me who was similarly able to mold anything out of it, he was quite adept at controlling his element, you see. And so, I was merely wondering if you were able to do the same.” 

Childe seemed to pause himself before inside of his palm there was a small whopper flower made out of nothing but water, “Yeah, what a strange coincidence!” 

Zhongli nodded, staring at the hydro whooper flower inside of Childe’s palm, beginning a strange waltz, “Yes, it is quite interesting……Then, are you perhaps able to mold it into any sort of weaponry.....or can you not?” 

Childe seemed to sprout into life as he immediately materialized a pair of twin blades and held them out in the palms of his hands, “Yeah....Although I usually only resort to using them when I get too frustrated with my bow.” 

Zhongli carefully drew his hands near and touched the blades, they were sharp enough to make him bleed if he pressed slightly harder into the blade. They felt as cool as iron usually felt when wielded, and were surprisingly light in his hands, “Hm...They are surprisingly light.” 

Childe let out a chuckle before he grabbed the blade from Zhongli’s hands and hastily put them away, “Yeah, they are made out of water, after all.” 

Zhongli paid no mind to the slight jab and kept going, “Can you make other weaponry as well, or only twin blades?” 

Childe shook his head, “No, I can. During my Fatui army years, they had all of us fight with different weapons, bows, scimitars, claymores, swords, polearms, and they even had us train with a catalyst. So, I can properly wield most of those weapons.....Right now, I’m wielding my bow, since it is my weakest weapon, which is why it is my primary weapon.” 

Zhongli felt his heart sink in his chest, it wasn’t making any sense. 

Ajax was able to wield all of those weapons, he had seen him in battle personally. Ajax was similarly able to wield his hydro element into whatever he wished; he had seen him tell stories and illustrate them through his vision with the children in Liyue. Ajax looked like Childe, and even acted like him. His dazzling stone was before him once more, his precious treasure. 

But he wasn't. 

And the desperation ate at his chest.

The tight knot he had been attempting to keep tied inside of his chest come undone.

Morax was set free once more. 

He could not take it anymore. 

After they parted ways, Zhongli made his way up a mountain; determined to gain answers for the plethora of strange coincidences. He marched up a mountain, went to the nearest glaze lily he could find, and began to talk to it. 

Even if Guizhong was gone, some of her soul remained in every single Glaze Lily she had ever made, “Guizhong, I am unsure. He reminds me ever so much of our dear Ajax, and yet, he does not remember you nor the rest of the adepti. He is not even an adeptus, he’s a mortal. I….I’m lost, and require your assistance, dear friend.” 

The minutes passed and the Glaze Lily remained still, and Zhongli felt the small smidge of hope start to dissipate away. 

Right, even if a bit of Guizhong lived inside each and every Glaze Lily, that did not mean that she was still living. She had long since turned into the very dust she had governed, she was gone. 

He felt pathetic and felt his patience start to dissipate as well, desperation taking shape as anger, “Answer me!” 

The lily did not respond back, causing Zhongli’s anger to swell up, “Why did you leave me behind! I can’t do it alone! I can’t do this alone! I don’t know how to solve my own problems without your advice!! Why must I be so pathetic.... ”

The flower remained still, he couldn’t take it anymore, he tore at the flower uprooting it, throwing it onto the ground, “ANSWER ME!” 

The flower remained still, and the boiling anger turned into bitter sorrow. He carefully picked up the flower and replanted it, feeling as tears started to form in his eyes, falling down onto the ground below. 

“I….can’t do this alone…please” 

Zhongli sat there, holding his face in his hands, feeling the weight of this pathetic behavior set in. He let out a silent sob as he cried into the palms of his hands, feeling as pathetic as he had always felt. 

When suddenly, a bright light disrupted Zhongli from his pathetic sobs. He looked up, to see a translucent golden light lean over to him before laughing lightly. He blinked once and then twice to see the golden light take the form of his dearest friend, Guizhong. 

Dressed in her favorite blue and while qixiong ruqun, along with her favorite hair stick holding her hair up into a half-up half-down style, a small smile on her face, “Silly Morax…I never left.” 

Zhongli could not believe it, and blinked his eyes once more, but the figure would not vanish. Guizhong let out a small chuckle before placing a small warm hand onto Morax’s cheek and pinched at his cheek in the same teasing manner she used too, “Of course I’m actually here. Where else do you think I would be?” 

Zhongli felt more and more tears fall down his face as he basically threw himself at her figure, embracing her tightly, “Guizhong …” 

Guizhong's laugh was watery as she wrapped her arms around Zhongli as well, “I’ve missed you too, old friend.” 

Zhongli let out a broken sob into her shoulder, feeling as she patted his back softly, “There, there, you silly old dragon.” 

Zhongli chuckled and dug his face deeper into her shoulder, slightly smelling the familiar scent of glaze lilies and fresh herbs on her clothes. 

They held each other for a bit longer, before Zhongli pulled away, and wiped at his tear-streaked face with his long sleeves, “...thank you..”

Guizhong chuckled and waved her hand dismissively at him, “Nothing to thank Morax….Now, go say hi to Ajax for me, won’t you?” 

Morax paused, eyes widening as he gazed at Guizhong, "What…do you- ” 

Guizhong grinned before she patted his head, reaching up with the tips of her toes to do so, “When the time comes, say hi to him for me again, okay?”

Morax froze but nodded as she pressed a hand against his forehead, “So long, old friend.” 

Zhongli woke up in a flash, sweat beading at his forehead, the faint smell of glaze lilies and fresh herbs surrounding his senses. He looked around to see his room, he was lying in his bed. 

When did he get there? 

He did not remember crawling to his house, nor does he remember falling asleep onto the bed. He was certain he had hiked up the mountain and talked to one of the glaze lilies. Did he dream of that encounter with Guizhong? Or was it all real?

Yes, it couldn’t have been merely a dream, if the smell of glaze lilies and herbs was not a clear indicator after all, lying on his nightstand there was a glowing glaze lily humming a faint song. 

Zhongli felt the relief wash over him, and the exhaustion following it soon after. His beloved was still on this earth, he had somehow come back to him, he had been confirmed of his identity, and yet, Ajax did not remember. 

He stared at the glowing glaze lily, watching as the faint golden light oozed out of it everytime it hummed, he felt his determination growing. 

Even if it would take him another century, he would make sure Ajax remembered him. He would make sure Ajax would come back to him, no matter what. 

___________________________

Ajax stood still on the floor, sobbing into himself. 

He missed his own era, he missed Zhongli, and he missed his family. He was homesick and he wanted to leave, he needed to leave. 

He knew it was selfish to think that way, to think about only himself, but he couldn’t help it; at least, not when Morax’s touch was as warm as it was.

Not when Morax’s gaze is as fond as it was. Not when Morax’s voice was as gentle as it was. Not when Ajax was so miserably in love with the man. 

He knew it was pathetic, he felt pathetic, he felt small. 

He felt useless. 

Here he was, sobbing once more at Morax’s feet feeling like he was about to fall apart once again. He was being selfish, Morax and Guizhong had lost a loved one, and yet they were still persevering through their own lives. They were still pulling through, and running the race no matter how tired and worn out they got. So, why was Ajax stopping at the first sign of distress, why was he quitting a race he had not even started yet? 

He had made a promise to himself that he was going to find a way to save them all, that he was going to find a way to get through it all and get to see Zhongli again. He made a promise to himself, and yet here he was wanting nothing else but to break it. 

He was selfish, he was putting others lives in danger just because of his selfishness, he wanted to put their lives in jeopardy just because he was feeling homesick.

What kind of sick monste-

“Ajax, are you alright?” his eyes met Morax’s molten gaze, a shiver ran down his spine. 

Something in Morax's gaze shifted as his eyes carefully inspected Ajax's face. In a flash, Morax grabbed his chin and lifted it up, his face mere inches from his. He stared into Ajax’s eyes, gently wiping the tears from his face, “What is the matter? Why are you crying?” 

He was sitting in front of Ajax, watching him carefully, a dull worry tainting his gaze. 

Ajax felt his self-restraint shatter.  

He pushed Morax’s gentle hand away and slumped forward onto Morax, burying his face into the cloth of his shuhe, choking back sobs. He heard a slight groan as he bumped into Morax but other than that he felt him stiffen underneath the curve of his body. 

Ajax kept his head buried inside Morax’s chest, hands curling around Morax’s waist in a vise grip. Morax did not move, and let him do so, preferring to place a warm hand on Ajax’s hair. 

Morax slowly moved a hand through Ajax’s hair, feeling the soft curls in the palms of his hands. 

He did not say anything, letting Ajax cry to his heart's content inside the safety of his warm arms; only on occasion would he move his hand downwards and trace small words on his back, feeling satisfied whenever he felt Ajax shiver. 

Ajax remained still, harsh breathing eventually calming down and turning soft. His tight grip had settled down after a while, loosening up and falling down onto the grass below. And after some time, he let the entire weight of his body settle cozily onto Morax. 

Morax stood still for a while, before starting to stir from his position on the ground. After being in that particular position, his mortal form’s legs were starting to fall asleep and he felt the familiar ants crawling up his leg. 

He carefully picked Ajax up, realizing he had fallen asleep.

His precious treasure.  

His eyes were shut revealing the sheer length of his long wispy eyelashes, his eyebrows were much more gentle when he was asleep, settling down on his face more loosely than usual. His lips were slightly parted, and bleeding. His eyes were puffy and his nose was red, a clear signifier that he had cried.

The treasure in his arms looked at peace, Morax felt something inside where his gnosis was, stir once more. 

He carefully brought the man up in his arms and began to walk towards his own house. Taking the man to his own house would be ideal, but it would most likely be completely dark out by the time they got to his house, a sign of the setting sun. 

Morax held the precious man in his arms, and felt a swell of indescribable feelings bubble over. 

He stared at his face, and the place where his gnosis was began to hammer away, swelling up and spilling all over. He brushed a slight stray hair behind his ear, and saw how Ajax stirred and slightly batted his hand away…..he felt his chest begin to swell up once again, with that feeling again. 

But just what was it? 

Chapter Text

Ajax woke up to a glare of sun, shining down on his face. 

His head was pounding, hurting from the afterglow of his prior shenanigans the day before no doubt. It felt as if a thousand needles had entered themselves into his head at the very same time, stinging the same spot, until he grew nauseous. 

He blinked his tired eyes open and attempted to stand up, only for every muscle in his body to ache and protest against the single movement. He groaned and leaned back down, cursing his life choices. 

Great. 

He had made an utter fool of himself, yet again in front of his Shizun, Morax. And to top that off, he had managed to overexert himself to the point where he could not even get out of bed. 

Now, while Ajax had been under Fatui military training where he was taught self-defense, and how to fight with a weapon. However, during his time in the military, unfortunately for many of the people who had joined it, in dull hopes of bringing enough income to their families or because they wanted the glory and prestige that came along with it. Their higher ranked soldiers that were in charge of teaching the new trainees, were not the exactly the…best…at teaching their classes, and mostly just threw the new soldiers into a fighting pit, telling them that they would hone their fighting abilities that way. 

Of course, even at just 14 years old, Ajax knew for a fact, that it was not a good tactic, especially since their was so many trainees hoping to be as good as their fellow upperclassmen, especially not when their higher ranked soldiers were in fact trained personally (most of them at least), by a Fatui Harbinger. 

And, while he had been trained to fight that way by Skirk in the beginning. Even she grew to see how erroneous and beastly her ways had been, and quickly began to train with him hands-on. Which entitled many days and nights where she would simply insult him enough for him to get agitated enough that he would willingly attack her, during her bizarre training lessons. 

Childe had always thought that she might have felt guilty for having nearly killed him the first day they met; having rebuilt and fortified every bone in his body after breaking them time and time again, after having punctured every single organ in his body, after having spilled half of his blood, and having nearly ripped his stomach wide open with her blades. He thought that her sparring lessons might have been a way for her to repent for her cruel actions, in her own sick way. She wanted to be beaten half to death by Childe, in order to get even with him; though she never admitted to it. 

Skirk was a strange master, but, as strange as she was, she was also fair. If Ajax were to get cut by one of her blades, she would allow him to cut him in the very same place as well. And if his arm would get injured, and he would only be allowed to use one arm for the entire fight, she would as well. 

She was noble in that way, even as beastly and vile as she might have been. 

Unlike the higher ups in the military. Which were nothing but corrupt and vile in their own right. They only did whatever was in their best interest; whether that was worldly desires like sex, drugs, and alcohol, or earning money by trading those same worldly pleasures to some of the other higher ups. 

In fact, Tartaglia had seen first-hand just how many higher ups or Harbingers would pick up their favorites from the bunch, and carefully groom them to become weapons or personal servants of their choosing; promising riches, fame, and power....all of which were white lies.

And how the same higher ups that he was told were there to guide him would personally hand their juniors out like a prize to be won to the sick seniors. 

Of course, he tried to stop it as much as he could, and would even pay the officials out for the poor trainees, and would advise them to be more careful. Celestia knows just how many higher ups attempted to ‘buy’ him from Pulcinella for a night or two, or even to use him however they pleased, when he was just 16. 

It was shortly after Pulcinella took him under his wing directly after he had been promoted several ranks up in just 2 years. He was impressed and wanted to guide the boy in order for him to become a great warrior.

Luckily, Pulcinella was one of the decent Harbingers, with enough morals to not be bent by the sheer promise of money. He angrily refused and promptly had the same people, mysteriously disappeared. He was probably one of the few Harbingers Ajax trusted with his life. 

In fact, he was the only one. 

Pulcinella was always disgusted by the other higher ups' antics and refused to budge, he was one of the few people in Ajax’s life that have seen him as nothing but a son. He saw the boy’s potential and wanted to help him achieve success, with no other ulterior motives. He was a good person amidst all of the trash and garbage that hid themselves under pretense of being righteous and dignified, fighting solely for Her Majesty's best interests. 

It was all a pile of dog shit, and those very same people knew it, deep down. 

They were nothing but a bunch of sickos, with a desire to be in a position of power in order to be able to harm others in twisted and disgusting ways. Even years later, Tartaglia still had to face the perverse stares of those who saw him as something else but Her Majesty’s personal Vanguard. 

It was something else, something dark, something unwanted and something that made Ajax uncomfortable. He knew the stares of the lord’s and lady’s that would come and visit the palace, he knew what their lust-filled stare’s meant. 

He wasn’t naive, though he pretended to be. 

They wanted him in a way that he did not, he did not miss the familiar lingering touches they would leave on his waist whenever they would stand next to him, or the filthy stares they would give him. Tartaglia was not ignorant of what it meant, they wanted to wreck him, and merely saw him as another pretty face to add to their repertoire of many pretty faces that followed them. 

They did not like him for his skill battle, as much as they claimed it was for that reason. In fact, they had even offered The Tsaritsa herself a generous sum of mora, in the millions of thousands in exchange for her 11th. 

And well, as icy as Her Majesty might have grown to be, she was notorious for being rather possessive over her Harbinger’s and their individual safety; working as a sort of twisted mother-figure. 

She would promptly leave her throne, expression neutral, and carefully make her way down the steps of her throne in a dignified way, light and airy, her long gown trailing behind her like a waterfall. Then, she would reach out of the lord or lady and promptly freeze them to death with a grip of her icy hand, turning their very lips blue and throats bursting from the icy spikes that burst through them. 

It was a macabre scene, every single icy spike would burst through the poor fool’s throats like a sick needle weaving a dignified gown fit for a queen. He would watch as the blood would weep down their throat, gushing red and silken like honey, slowly and putrid. Then, she would let go of them, throwing them to the side as if they were mere dirty rags to her and wipe their blood on her gown. 

She would spare them but a single repulsed glance; would turn around once more, not caring for the outcry that would follow as the fool’s entourage would chastise her and cry out for the death of their lady or lord. And they two would meet their demise, only not by Her Majesty but by the guards who would drag them out and throw them into a cell. 

For a reason unknown to him, he was strangely favored by The Tsaritsa. 

One theory he had come up with, was that perhaps she reminded him of her late son, something that was an open secret to the inhabitants of the Zapolyarny Palace.

He had seen the portraits and countless paintings of a young boy with blond hair, his face scratched off. As well as the countless family portraits that were scratched out, the only one remaining was Her Majesty’s soft expression gazing at the painter in front of her. 

She looked happy in these portraits, unlike the permanent frown on her face whenever she would request an audience with him. It was an open secret that The Tsaritsa had a happy family, some time ago. But, during the Archon War, her husband and son had tragically died, details of their exact death have remained unknown for centuries. 

Her life was ripped away from her, before she could grasp at it. She was left alone, a God of Love with no one left to love. Her love was ripped away from her, she was devastated, and soon enough, her heart began to freeze over. She was no longer the gentle and benevolent god she used to be, but a cold and cruel one. She did not have any love left for her, so she left none for her people. 

But as much as her people say that she’s unfeeling as she makes herself to be, they are wrong. Childe has seen her benevolence time and time again, her kindness shine through. He saw it in the way she would send physicians to her Harbingers quarters after they had been badly hurt, and insisted on them taking a break after battle. He saw it in the way she would refuse other rich lord’s and lady’s money whenever they would offer to bed any of her Harbinger’s for intel on any of her enemies or financial support. 

And although Ajax had been in 

She was still the archon she used to be, although deeply wounded. 

A part of Childe wondered if she specifically chose her Harbingers. It had to be for a reason, he always thought to himself. But, what? 

He now knew. 

Her Majesty, The Tsaritsa has always been an Archon of Love, even afterwards. She would always love her people, that was just who she was to her core. As much as she tried to cover up her love, it would always seep out through the cracks in her tightly fabricated mask. 

Perhaps that’s why she chose the loneliest people as her loyal Harbingers, people that were abandoned by Celestia, just like her. Perhaps she found solace in them, knowing that she too was just like them. 

Every single Harbinger was abandoned by Celestia, they were left to rot in the dark crevices of Teyvat, with no one left to turn too. 

Ajax was sure as hell that The Tsaritsa knew of his past, knew of every single misdeed he had done, every single lie he had told, his sin. He was sure he did. How could she not? 

It was evident to every Celestial being that Ajax was nothing short of a monster. An Abyssal beast, no longer human, no longer humane, with bloody impulses. Was that why she allowed him to enter the Palace? 

Was that why she welcomed him, and personally buttoned that insignia on his jacket and re-birthed him through a new name, “Tartaglia. You shall no longer be known as anything else my dear Vanguard. You are Tartaglia now.” 

Tartaglia smiled and bowed down before His Majesty, watching as she hummed and passed an ice cold hand through his hair, “Yes, Your Majesty.” 

Did all Archons know of his corruption? Could all beings made from pure elemental energy sense the overwhelming stench erupting from his very pores? 

Did he know he was tainted by The Abyss? 

Was it evident the second they met, was it something he brushed to the side for the sake of cordiality? Was it something he brushed off for the sake of camaraderie? 

If so, then why was he still so gentle towards something that had destroyed his land centuries ago, something that had killed the very beings he loved so dearly. Why didn’t he express his resentment? Or any type of prejudice against him? Why-

“You shouldn’t put much strain on your body. From what I’ve heard from Cloud Retainer, not everyone is used to our strenuous regimen of exercise. Your muscles are probably sore from the rigorous training you’ve subjected your body to, it's best not to stand up for now.” 

He looked up, snatched out of his trance after so long. Morax stood in front of him, tall and domineering in his stance, eyes intense and frown evident. He was dressed in new clothes it seemed, a loose white dachang with white accents on the sleeves. Embroidered on them were small dainty flowers, they seemed to be pink camellias. He was carrying a small tray, with what appeared to be a bowl of something. 

He instinctively sat up once he saw Morax leaning down, but winced when he felt his muscles protesting against the excessive movement, letting out a small groan. He was too sore to even function and the fact that he had slept on a straw mat, with nothing but a small blanket on top, certainly did not help his aching muscles. 

Morax frowned, placed the bowl down, before helping Ajax sit up, “Don’t move too much. You’ll hurt yourself.” 

Ajax didn’t say anything, and just obeyed, sitting up pathetically with the help of Morax. Then, he felt Morax place something onto his back, it was a small pillow(?). It was in an odd shape, a cylinder, but it was soft nevertheless and helped support his aching back.

Morax seemed to pause momentarily before he spoke up, “I brought you something to eat,” he slid the plate towards Ajax. 

It was an odd gesture, but familiar nonetheless. 

He nodded, uttering a quick, “..thanks...”, before he picked up the bowl and inspected it. It was a small bowl of what appeared to be rice porridge, it was a common dish used for treating ailments if his memory proved him correct. It had bits of chopped green onions in it, as well as small bits of ginger, with small bits of chicken as well. As soon as Ajax took a bite, the flavor exploded into his mouth although very delicately. 

Judging from the flavor, it was most likely made by Madame Ping and Guizhong. Although Guizhong was not exactly an accomplished cook; that much was evident when she stayed over at Ajax’s once more to watch over Ganyu once again, and well….nearly set the kitchen on fire. 

However, since then, she has really improved. She could now cook simple dishes, and they were actually pretty good. And well, Madame Ping was always there by her side to make sure she wouldn’t light the kitchen ablaze, so that definitely improved her cooking skills. 

Although, Ajax had a large suspicion that her ‘sworn sister’ was really just there, to hopelessly pine over her shijie. 

Like cmon’!   

It wasn’t as if Ajax was oblivious to the way his dajie would look so reverently at his shijie. Of course, poor Madame Ping had to face the fact that her shijie was oblivious to her feelings. Whenever she would do anything even remotely romantically charged, Guizhong would laugh it off, and pat her on the back regarding her as her sworn sister with pride. His idiotic shijie missed the way Ping stared at her as if she was the center of her entire universe, and the way she would merely sigh at her rejection and carry on playing her zither. 

It hurt to watch. 

He had suspected it for a while; the secret glances his friend had swiped at Guizhong, and the fond expression she only reserved for Guizhong.The way she would go along with Guizhong with whatever she would do. The way she would write countless songs dedicated to Guizhong, though she disguised them as being solely for her training. The way she would earnestly help her on her inventions and give her input as well, and even carry some of the heavy work by herself. 

It was too much, way too much. 

________________________________

He had confronted Ping about it a while ago, the day after A-Qiu’s funeral service. He had seen the way she comforted Guizhong and had cleaned her tears delicately with the ends of her sleeves, her expression loving and bittersweet. The way she embraced Guizhong with all she had, as if she too was going to disappear. The way she had gently whispered sugar coated lies into her ear, a few ways away from the funeral site, and held her close, after she had left the funeral early and too hastily. 

He too had followed after his shijie, in order to make sure she was alright, but it seemed as if someone had caught up before him. He saw as she held her close, trapping her in the frame of her body, stroking small patterns into the back of her white robes. She was crying as well, but not nearly as harshly as Guizhong was. She was practically screaming out in pain, clinging onto her shimei’s clothes for dear life. 

The way she held her close, and the way she looked at her shijie, felt too personal. And all of a sudden, Ajax grew too aware that he was there. It felt as if he was disrupting a private moment, he wanted to leave immediately. He turned around, deciding to ask Ping what had transpired, later on. 

And he did. 

He caught up to Madame Ping, playing her zither in the very same spot he had found her the day prior. She was playing silently, the tone of her instrument melancholic and somber, but bittersweet all the same. 

She opened an eye, and gave a small smile, “Shidi. What are you doing here?” 

He smiled back and shrugged, “Thought you could use some company.” 

Her smile widened and she scooted over, to give him space on the same stone he found her sitting on, “I do.” 

He sat on the stone and hesitated for a minute, deciding how it would be best to say something like this. After all, Ajax had never been the best when it came to maintaining friendships, at least not close ones. All of the friendships he had were a result of something disastrous, and it felt as if he was walking on glass every time he talked to Lumine or even Katya. 

But, he decided to give it his best shot, “So what piece are you working on this time, dajie?” 

She paused a bit before she glanced towards the river beside them, “I’m not quite sure to be completely frank. I am stuck in a conundrum of sorts, one that I can’t seem to leave at the moment.” 

Ajax raised his eyebrow, “What is it about-the conundrum I mean. What is it about?”

She looked back at him, her eyes were hesitant, “Well…I have someone I cherish deeply, but I-I’m afraid their affections lie elsewhere…And, I’m not sure how to deal with this loss of mine, how do I?....Do you know how to?” 

Oh. 

Ajax had not expected that. Not at all. 

Her voice sounded painfully defeated and at a loss, as if she was going through a second death of someone she loved. Her eyes were distant and distinctly hurt, and she looked as if she wanted to cry but ultimately held it in. 

He looked at her and let out a large sigh, “To be honest, I don’t really know either, dajie. It’s actually pretty ironic that you are mentioning that, because I’m going through a very similar conundrum myself. One that I haven’t personally figured out myself. So, I don’t know, you just sort of learn to live with it and slowly that feeling starts to dwindle until it fades away completely.” 

She nodded, “I see…It’s just-I’ve never felt this way before. At least not to this extent for someone else in all of my years of life. I feel as if a piece of me has been ripped away when I think about them being with somebody other than I......I feel awful, so awful I can’t even concentrate on my meditation. This...feeling of mine has completely taken over my life, it's so overwhelming that I’m afraid it's going to ultimately swallow me completely. I….would like to get rid of it.” 

He nodded, feeling at a loss as well. He never expected his dajie to be going through something so painfully similar to what he was going through. He stared up at the starless sky, and closed his eyes before he started out slowly, “Well… just what is it that you like about this person?” 

She too looked up at the starless sky as well, closing her own eyes, “I…I’m not so sure I know. While I like their neverending kindness, I selfishly want it all for myself. I want to hold them as closely to me as possible, I want to hold all of their light to myself. I oftentimes find myself fascinated by their bright smile, their captivating beauty, the way they extend their light to everything that they touch. I like her mind, the way she could think about a new way to improve one of her older designs. The way she never stops pursuing knowledge, and the way she never gives up on what she has set her mind to, no matter the setbacks. The way she laughs, the way she cries, the way she talks.....I’m afraid I like it all..” 

She trailed off, unsure of what else to say. 

Ajax was startled by the bursting confession thrown before him, but welcomed it nevertheless. If at least he could not help himself and his own disastrous love-life then perhaps he could help someone else. 

Now, he was sure that she liked Guizhong. 

He opened his eyes and looked at Madame Ping, “I…Dajie…are you perhaps in love with shijie?” 

She opened her eyes abruptly, panic filling them, her cheeks turned slightly pink even under the yellow light emitting from the lamp posts around them, “I-”

Seeing as she looked like a frightened deer, he patted her shoulder reassuringly, “Hey, it’s fine if you do. I’m not here to judge or anything, trust me.” 

As if he would judge her for liking Guizhong, he was sure that if he was not completely head over heels in love with Zhongli, he would have a crush on her as well. That was perfectly valid, and besides he is 40% sure that Zhongli himself also had a crush on Guizhong himself as well. Having a crush on Guizhong is perfectly valid, he was sure most of her devoted followers had a crush on her as well. 

She didn’t reply at first, but eventually nodded, “Yes..”, she scratched the side of her cheek nervously, “ Is it obvious?” 

He nodded and suddenly felt like teasing the poor senior, “Yeah, too obvious. Really, you should hide your infatuation a little better when you’re comforting her, dajie.” 

Madam Ping’s face looked petrified as she stared blankly at Ajax, “You…saw that?” 

“Yep, clear as day, dajie. It was painfully obvious that you were crushing hard on her.” 

She winced at that, and nodded, short and curt, “I see…I just…” 

“Can’t help it....Yeah, I get that.” 

She nodded, absentmindedly playing with the ends of her billowing sleeves, “Yes. I…I don’t know when it all started. I keep trying to go back to the exact moment where I had begun to like her, but nothing comes to mind. It just…happened.” 

Celestia above, did that hit home for Ajax. 

He leaned back in his seat, laying down on the round rock, feeling how the rock made his spine curve in an uncomfortable way, “Yeah, I get that too. It was the same for you, you know. I didn’t know when I liked him, it just happened. Of course, I found him attractive when I first met him, but I didn’t think much of it. Until, that attraction started to expand towards every word that fell from his mouth to the way he walked.” 

She hummed, “...How long have you liked Shizun?”

That made him pause. 

WHAT? 

This time, it was him that jumped up from his seat, feeling as his face heated up and his heart beat went a mile a minute, “What? No! I don’t like him! Not at all! I…” 

He slowed down as soon as he saw the shit-eating grin on Ping’s face. He gave up denying it and felt his shoulders slump down and his hands come front to cup his face, “I…I’m not so sure either. I just started to feel some type of way,” he sighed, “But, I can’t. I know I can’t. It’s just….complicated.” 

She hummed once again, this time patting his head, “I understand…Love is a complicated thing, is it not?” 

“Yeah, I guess it is.”

She nodded, “If it were easy, we would not be stuck in this predicament.” 

She stopped her ministrations before she carefully plucked at her guzheng, conjuring a melody of notes; they were somber but all the same yearning for someone unattainable. 

They sat there in silence for the rest of the night, listening to the hum of cicadas, the plucking of strings and the melancholic melody that erupted from the guzheng. 

They would always pine for someone unattainable, no matter how much time passed, their love would remain and never fully fade away throughout the passage of time. 

___________________________

Morax never left his side, even after he painstakingly scooped up spoonful after spoonful of jook and gulped it down. He sat down next to him, and watched him as if he was witnessing the most interesting thing happen right before his eyes. 

It unnerved Ajax, just how Morax watched him.

It was a gaze filled with nothing but pure hunger. 

A hunger so vast and so unfulfilled inside of the man before him, a lust so drawn out for centuries waiting to escape. It got to a point where Ajax could swear he had seen the man staring at his lips, looking as if he wanted to rip them out of his face with his own teeth…very strange. 

As he shifted around, he would see the Archon following his every movement like a starving predator waiting for its prey. He tracked his every breath, his every movement with his eyes, that seemed as if they were nothing but slits. 

He could not take it anymore, and hurriedly ate the remaining soup, wiped his mouth and carefully pushed the bowl back to him, “I’m done..” 

The Archon nodded, before he inched closer towards Ajax. 

He came closer and closer, until he could feel his warm breath tickling his cheek. Everything in him seemed to shut down as he saw the Archon’s eyes drinking him in, as if he was a delicacy. He felt himself stiffen as the Archon grew near. 

Then, before he could react, he felt a soft touch on the corner of his lip. He glanced down to see a small grain of rice on the god’s finger, he glanced up to see the Archon lick it off his finger, “You....forgot a spot.” 

AHH-

The Archon nonchalantly retreated back before he picked up the bowl, carrying it off. Ajax watched frozen in place as he watched the god leave, turning the corner to what he presumed was a kitchen or something of the sort. 

Ajax felt as if he was going to die of utter embarrassment, he shriveled up with it in fact. He felt his heart beating out of his clothes, wanting nothing more than the ground to open up and swallow him whole. 

‘What the fuck was that?!’

____________________________________

His question was not answered for the remainder of the day, as the horde of adepti came to his Shizun’s domain, after having heard of Ajax’s condition. 

Unfortunately for him, his muscles were sore to the extent that, whenever he would try to stand up, his legs would wobble like a baby fawn’s. When he first tried to stand up, he toppled over, which was embarrassing. The second time he tried to stand up, he was caught by Morax, who frowned at him, “It’s worse than I had anticipated…You are falling over like a newborn adepti, that’s not good. I’ll go ask for Cloud Retainer. “ 

Ajax groaned in embarrassment, digging his face into the palms of his hands; both at the slight jab to his ego and the fact that Morax’s hand was nestled onto his waist. However, his groan only prompted Morax to worry further about him, carefully setting him down, and grabbing his face with his hands, “Are you alright?” 

Celestia above! He really needed to stop doing that!

He nodded, face ablaze, “Yeah…I’m fine…just a little sore is all, Shizun.” 

Morax’s eyebrows seemed to furrow, and he started to inspect Ajax’s face, turning it from side to side and leaning in closely. He leaned in closely, that his forehead touched Ajax’s. Morax paused for a moment before he shook his head, “It seems like you have a cold....you are burning up, and are bright red.” 

That was not why he was “burning up”, but he did not know how to tell the poor Archon, so he just shook his head slightly, “No, I’m fine. I’m just sore and tired, I need a quick nap and I’ll be fine.” 

Morax shook his head, gaze firm, “No, you are not. I will be back as soon as I can. Do not move.” 

What was he supposed to do? Disobey his orders? Psht, no. He was weak against this man, that had been an established thing. He gave a curt nod and watched as Morax left. 

A few minutes later he woke up to everyone staring holes into him.

He paused a bit, before he stood up; but, when he did, he felt every single bone in his body burn. It felt awful and he felt awful, it felt as if everything was on fire, he felt his bones itch. What the hell? 

He yelped out in pain and immediately recoiled back down. 

Guizhong rushed to his side, helping him lay back down, “Shidi! Are you okay?!” 

Her eyes were wide and filled with worry, she looked terribly worried. Incredibly worried so much that he felt guilty for feeling like shit, so he gave his best faux smile and nodded, “Yeah, of course shijie. Why wouldn’t I b-” 

He felt another sting to his muscles, and let out a groan, “Fuck.”  

Mountain Shaper was the one who was at his side now, he was in his human form. He placed his hand on his wrist. Then, after a while, let out a small sigh, “His meridians are expanding, his body is going through a lot of stress right now. The final transition from a human to an adeptus is currently expanding his meridians and filling them with spiritual energy, as well as redoing his very skeletal structure-"

Yeah, but wasn't he already an adeptus, he already had the fangs and the horns and the whole shebang and what not?

"But, aren't I already technically an adeptus already?" 

Mountain Shaper looked irritated at his interruption but continued nevertheless, "No, you have yet not. Although, you may have begun your transition from human to adeptus a long time ago, this is the final evolution of what was already started.….Have you noticed anything abnormal going on in your body? Increase in appetite, fatigue, drowsiness, increased stamina?” 

Well…he had noticed that he had required more food than normal. But that was a given, considering Cloud Retainer and Morax kept pouring more food onto his plate, even after he refused. But, he had also noticed that he had increased energy when he went out on his usual patrols with Cloud Retainer, even going as far as to instigate more fights with the rifthounds that were miles away from their small village. And now that he really thought about it, he did notice he was getting a lot more tired after those small bursts in energy. 

…….Well shit….now what? 

He nodded, and through gritted teeth he said, “Yeah-AH!!” 

He bit his hand in order to stop the scream from escaping his throat as his entire body felt like it was being engulfed in flames, and charred. The pain made him nearly lose consciousness, and he barely registered the concerned voices calling out to him. 

The next he noticed was Morax in front of him, molten eyes intense and pupils blown wide, “Stop! You are hurting yourself!” 

He blinked, drowsy. He looked down at his arm, his palm was bleeding, blood was dripping down his forearm. It was dark and viscous, it looked scarily red on his pale skin. He felt his mouth in pain, as dazedly brought his tongue over his teeth, yelping out in surprise as he felt a pair of sharp fangs protruding out. They were far sharper and longer than he had remembered to be. 

Guizhong carefully wrapped his wound up, with long bandages, her eyes wide and scared. 

The pain came in waves after that, some worse than others. Madam Ping had gone to her own domain and had brought strong pain medicine, used for adepti only. She had made it herself and had personally dried and ground up all of the herbs herself. 

The medicine was bitter, too bitter in its taste. But, it worked because afterwards he barely felt the pain. The waves of pain felt like a cotton ball was being dragged over his entire body. 

Ultimately, they had all decided to take turns watching Ajax’s condition. Some of them would go out to watch over the outer border to see if any incoming attacks were coming, while the rest stayed to watch over Ajax. 

Cloud Retainer and Moon Carver went to watch the outer border, while the rest stayed behind. Guizhong and Morax stayed by his side like rice candy stuck to your gums, constantly fretting over his condition. While Ping, Mountain Shaper, Sky Bracer would routinely watch over Ganyu and made sure to change his bandages and change his cold compress. 

Ajax felt lethargic, every single bone in his body seemed to ache, and even his mouth hurt. However, besides that, he felt strangely warm surrounded by adepti who cared about him very much, who cared about him so earnestly. 

He felt strangely at......

Home.

Chapter Text

“You are too skinny, shidi! Have some more porridge. Here!” Guizhong insisted, bringing a new spoonful of rice porridge, for the 7th time that day. 

Since he was out of commission, they were starting to dote on him, perhaps a bit, excessively. And well, he didn’t really deem it necessary, especially since he was a full grown adult with the necessary capabilities to take care of himself. However, they really didn’t seem to care whether he was a baby bird or a full grown adult; they still doted on him. 

After getting sick so rapidly, Ajax had come to notice just how insistent everyone was on taking care of him. Whether that be Cloud Retainer shoving a mouthful of pain killer down his throat (which left him coughing afterwards as she was too rough), or Marchosius bringing a single Glaze Lily and placing it gently at his side. Even Moon Carver, who was usually nonchalant about Ajax’s entire existence, sought out to bring fresh water to Ajax’s kitchen. 

Ajax was mostly bed-ridden, mostly out of the searing hot pain that coursed through his tendons and the large headache that came after ingesting so much of the pain medicine all at once. Even if he was becoming a full-fledged adepti, that did not mean he was still one. 

And well, too much medicine that was strictly used for adepti, being used on a human….was not too good. 

He had asked Cloud Retainer about the medicine, after noticing the god-awful headache that came afterwards, that nearly made him regret taking the medicine in the first place; it felt like a hangover for god’s sake! It nearly reminded him of the early days in the military, where he and his colleagues would regularly drink firewater until their liver refused to take anymore. And Celestia above, the hangover that would ensue, made Ajax swear to never drink again….that of course was a lie, since he still did it even afterwards. 

She was in the middle of folding his and Ganyu’s clothes (he had insisted on doing it himself, but, as soon as he stood up he collapsed to the floor; Cloud Retainer reprimanded him and took over completely). It was just him, Ganyu, and Cloud Retainer at home. 

That was because there had been a large outbreak of Rift Wolves on the southern border, which prompted all of the adepti to rush to defend them. Leaving only Cloud Retainer behind to watch over Ajax and Ganyu. 

Ganyu was still a mere toddler, but she had grown to the age where she could finally understand basic language. She had stuck around Ajax and Cloud Retainer in his room, but she had waddled off like a penguin after a sharp gaze from Cloud Retainer, after she had fallen asleep inside of the laundry basket once again. 

Since most of the adepti were staying at his house, they had set up a makeshift bed for Ganyu, which mostly consisted of a small mattress and a fluffy blanket made out of wool; which is where he had assumed she had wandered off too. And Ajax thanked the lord above that she was far too young to reach the door knobs still. 

Cloud Retainer turned her gaze towards Ajax, pushing her red glasses up slightly, as her gaze pierced him, “That particular medicine was not made for human anatomy. It was brewed specifically by one’s own hands, and one designed it to be as potent as possible during the early wars that broke out when one was barely a mere 30 years of age. During that time, we did not have time to whine about mere injuries, so one made it as a quick solution to the ache we all felt in our bodies; as it is instantaneous. And so, your puny human body is not constructed to take in the medicine as fast as our bodies absorb it, which is why you have that ‘headache’....Now, one will carry on with one’s ridiculous chores.” 

She ignored him once more, and focused her attention on folding a pair of shirts that Ajax had washed the day prior….after he had a moment alone. And well….that didn’t go as well as he had hoped. Guizhong had found him nearly collapsed onto the garden outside, shaking and barely holding back the screams inside his throat. 

And….just as quickly as his sparse freedom came, it was yanked out of his hands once more; he was officially banned from getting out of his bed, unless he needed to use the bathroom or shower. 

And even then, it was a bit awkward, as they insisted on being in the same bathroom as him, while he did his business…He had refused, yelping out in protest against the idea, earning a confused gaze from the adepti. As if they had not offered to stand around in the bathroom, and stare at him while he used the bathroom…

As if it were a normal idea….they settled to wait outside of the bathroom, until he was done. 

However, they still insisted on helping him shower, which he had initially refused. But after nearly drowning inside of the public sauna, they had to personally wash him up. 

And so, he had to suffer Sky Bracer’s worried expression as he gently wiped the sweat off his body with a small towel and a bucket filled with some water and soap….it wasn’t an unpleasant feeling and Sky Bracer was respectful towards Ajax, and looked away when necessary, not overstepping his boundaries. And did it as quickly as he could; which was greatly appreciated by Ajax, but god was it embarrassing. 

And it did not help that Ajax could see Sky Bracer’s handsome face up close to his own. It looked even more perfect up close, and dear god, was it not great for his damn heart. 

Sky Bracer had been the one to do it, after Ajax sent a look to Guizhong and Madam Ping after Morax offered to do it. The last thing Ajax wanted to happen, was to get an unexpected reaction, after seeing Morax up close and personal. 

Guizhong smiled a bit, before patting Morax on the shoulder, “Hmm, how about we go out hunting instead, Shizun! I’m sure shidi is feeling a bit hungry, and we haven’t had some fowl in a while…” 

Morax frowned, he stared back at a bright-red Ajax, and nodded, “Mn….Let’s go.” 

Guizhong sent a quick wink towards Ajax, before she dragged Morax out, along with Madam Ping trailing closely behind. 

After that, they had come back with a load of fowl for dinner, and Morax dripping in blood; much to the dismay of Cloud Retainer and Guizhong….they had just mopped the floors….

Yes, surprisingly the adepti were terribly keen on cleaning Ajax’s house top to bottom. And were weirdly good at house-work in their own right. Which, Ajax guessed, had to do with the fact they had been living for years at that point. 

Ajax thanked everyone earnestly for their efforts. However, he still largely refused to allow them to do everything around his house, and attempted to at least help around the house once he felt fine enough to walk around for a bit. 

Even though he was kept cooped up inside of his bed, he got up to stretch his legs once the pain killers set in, and walked around his house for a bit, picking up one of the random books that were lying around the house. 

Though he had never known who the house had belonged to, he had a strong guess it had to do with Ganyu’s father. They did not talk much about the Qilin adeptus, preferring to ignore any mention of him whenever the topic was brought up. 

However, even in their strong denial, Ajax had figured out the basics of who he was; or at least, had gotten a vague image in his head of how the adeptus could have possibly looked like. Apparently, he looked similar to Ganyu, he was gentle and mild-mannered, pretty reserved, a strong warrior, and an apparent book-worm. 

And, if he were honest, he would have loved to know the adeptus. Since apparently, he was gentle around humans and was the only other adeptus to fully understand them. His wisdom was written a lot in the tons of books that were scattered across the markets, and inside of the tales told by local villagers when asked about the blue-haired adeptus. 

The books that were littered around his house were filled to the brim with books, all of which ranged from fantasy to anecdotal writings of many of the fascinating things that were yet to be fully explored by humans. 

He had started exploring the many pages of one of the many novels he had picked up, the first page was written in a language he could not understand, it was an ancient Liyuen-script, developed even before the one he saw written in the markets. It was most likely written by someone decades older than Ajax himself, though it looked brand-new. 

The only reason he continued to read it was because on every page, there were illustrations of botanical life, ranging from dandelions to Sandbearer trees. The images were highly detailed, every last stroke of the plants were perfectly drawn up with black ink. And, after a few more swipes through the pages, Ajax had come to the realization that the book must have been illustrated by Ganyu’s father….since eventually, the writing and the illustrations stopped a few pages in. 

Ajax did not have the heart to ask what the pages said, placing the book down on his desk after the realization sank in. 

________________________

Guizhong held out the spoonful of warm porridge, slightly blowing on it in order not to burn Ajax, as Ajax felt his cheeks grow warmer by the second. While he had always known that Guizhong was caring as they come, he never truly realized just how caring she was. 

Ajax was a grown man, in his 20’s already, being spoon fed like a baby bird. 

He leaned forward and accepted the spoonful, as Guizhong tilted the spoon slightly to not spill it, and cleaned the excess rice that stuck to the sides of his mouth with the spoon itself. 

Guizhong did this a few more times, until she smiled; satisfied, “Good. Now, drink your hot tea, I brewed it just for you, it should soothe your nerves a bit.” 

He nodded, and compiled as she held up the cup of tea to his lips, and sipped slightly. After that, she placed the cup of tea down and sighed, “Ai-ya-yai~ I never expected my di-di to get so sick! My poor poor shidi!” 

She embraced him in a tight-hug, nearly cutting his breathing off by the tightness of it. 

Thankfully, Morax intervened, and pulled at her arm, “You are making him uncomfortable. Get off.” 

She relented and patted Ajax’s head, careful to avoid his growing horns. 

After being bed-ridden for nearly a month, that was something else he noticed. Ever since this weird transition from human to half-adeptus to full-adeptus. The small horns on his head had begun to sprung up even taller, growing in their size. But, strangely, not their color. 

They had remained to be a milky white transparent color that shimmered opalescent when the sun hit it. The other thing he had noticed was that his short teeth had grown to be even longer, and they hurt badly. His nails had also begun to grow even longer in their shape, that he had to be careful when moving around too much in his bed, unless he wanted to cut the sheets open (he had, which had him reprimanded by Cloud Retainer who pecked at his head lightly afterwards). 

And according to Cloud Retainer he would, “be able to transform fully after a few months”. Which made him equal parts curious and equal parts terrified. 

But, besides that strange revelation, he had also found himself being able to break things with his bare hands…which he also got yelled at by Cloud Retainer for. 

“Ah, no, it’s fine.” 

Morax stared at him for a while before relenting, letting Guizhong’s arm go, “....Do not be so rough with him...He is still in recovery.” 

Guizhong smiled at Morax before she patted his shoulder reassuringly, glancing back at Ajax, “Sorry shidi…I’m just…worried about you..” 

He shook it off, with a wave of his hand, attempting to brighten up the atmosphere, “It’s no big deal. Cmon’, I’ve dealt with worse injuries on my own. This is nothing compared to that…I’m not made out of porcelain.” 

That was true. 

While the pain he felt was unbearable, and was truly some of the worst pain he had felt. It did not compare to the absolute hell he had to bear during his time in the military. Besides from being preyed on by the lords and ladies that would pass by him, he was also injured severely multiple times throughout his short stint in the military. 

During those days, he was injured on a daily basis if he were to be completely honest. And, well, being in the military in the middle of a global war meant well….he did not get the best treatment whilst he was recovering. 

The doctors would send him off with a broken arm in the midst of battle, and would operate on those who had severely injured themselves without any anesthetic, and did not hand out pain killers afterwards. They were merely treated as animals to the slaughter, and were not given the proper treatment for many severe wounds. 

And, besides that Dotorre, was also quite a bastard himself. 

He would regularly send out notices to his superiors to “Get me some of your soldiers”, which he regularly used for his ‘research’. It was not research, they were plainly an experiment for him, a test to see how the human body would take before it broke in two. 

One of the experiments that the bastard conducted on Childe regarded his Foul Legacy. Childe had been stupid, stupid enough to use his Foul Legacy after being surrounded by a dozen Ruin Guards while out exploring the ruins nearby for some cheap thrill. And well, Dotorre had come to hear of it, and how he had defeated 12 Ruin Guards by himself. 

He had sent people to kidnap him in the middle of the night, and had subsequently dragged him towards his stupid lab. What happened afterwards was a set of trials, where he would send hordes of Ruin Guards, and hordes of Hilichurls to see how much Childe could take before he would break.  

What had prevented Ajax from killing the fucker, was plain and simple. 

If he acted out, it would get him kicked out from the military. And he would have to spend the rest of his days wandering out, killing whatever there was, with no way to support his younger siblings. Being in the Fatui granted Childe an escape, a way for him to let out his murderous urges without real consequence. And he wanted to become even stronger, he wanted to serve his Tsaritsa, he wanted to conquer the entire world. 

He wanted to see the world that had abandoned him kneel down before him. 

Needless to say, he was a naive kid. 

A fool that was too hurt to see that the world did not owe him shit. The world plainly picked out the strongest to survive, and if he wanted to live and prosper he had to be the strongest. 

However, he was desperate to cling onto the army, so he complied and went along with Dotorre’s little experiment. He lasted 4 days before he collapsed, with no food, no water, running on pure adrenaline and fight or flight. 

Afterwards, he was sent to the infirmary, where he found out he suffered burn wounds, a punctured liver, broken leg, sprained ankle, broken arm, cracked ribs, extremely dehydrated, and starving. He had no idea how he managed to survive all those days, or even how he managed to heal so quickly. But, he guessed it had to do with how abnormally quickly his Foul Legacy healed his own body. 

Morax’s stare pierced through him, it was almost deafening how piercing it was. It felt oppressive and tense, it made the hairs on his arm stand up. Under his gaze, there lay a simmering anger that was merely held back by a pretense to hold it together. 

Guizhong was staring at him as well, but her stare was far more worried than Morax’s, “Shidi?”

Fuck. 

He racked his brain with a good excuse, or anything to get him out of the uncomfortable situation…he breathed a sigh of relief when Cloud Retainer came marching in, arguing with what appeared to be Madam Ping (or perhaps she was just talking (?), he could never tell with her). 

“Insolent child! One is telling you, that’s not going to work! Why do you not have any trust towards your elder?!” 

Madam Ping breathed a sigh, and started off gently, “I do trust you, Shigu. But, I need you to trust me as well, it will work.” 

“Silly child, we have no idea how his body is going to react to this-” 

“React to what?” He couldn’t stop the question from escaping his mouth. 

Cloud Retainer and Madam Ping were in the room now, after having entered the house a few seconds ago. Madam Ping looked tired and exasperated, carrying what seemed to be a bundle of herbs on her back in a bag made out of bamboo wood. Cloud Retainer was in her human form, looking frustrated, her glasses placed neatly on top of her head, carrying a sack of similar looking herbs. 

They both placed the bags onto the nightstand next to Ajax and Cloud Retainer pressed her fingers to his wrist before she could answer his question, “...Much better than yesterday, his vitals are strong and his meridians have fully formed…Are you really sure that it will work A-Ping?”

Madam Ping nodded, “Yes, it will. Trust me.” 

Cloud Retainer shook her head, stubborn to give up, “One doubts it will work! His puny human body is too weak to handle such levels of energy….Why are you doubting one’s expertise? Have you forgotten one has lived longer than you?” 

Madam Ping relented and let go of Ajax’s wrist before nodding, “No, I have not forgotten. I…I’m sure it will work, Shigu.” 

Cloud Retainer let out an exasperated sigh, rubbing her temples, “Are you positive A-Ping? We have no idea of the after effects of this medicine, we can’t risk his health because of it..” 

Madam Ping let out a long sigh, striding close to Ajax, this time touching his wrist with her two fingers. She closed her eyes for a bit before she nodded, “It will work. His meridians are fully formed and filling with waves of adeptal energy, if we advance the process, he will recover in a short while.” 

Cloud Retainer closed her eyes, and breathed out a sigh, ”Fine, one gives you permission.” 

Ajax was at the center, confused as all the Abyss, as Guizhong and Morax’s stares pierced holes into him, and as Madam Ping and Cloud Retainer discussed something he was not aware of. 

Morax spoke up, “What exactly have you figured out, Madam Ping?” 

Madam Ping immediately gave a short bow to Morax before she said, “Well, I have been discussing with Shigu and Da-jie about another solution to his problem.” 

Morax seemed interested, and allowed her to continue. 

“His meridians are actively filled with more adeptal energy that is being created by his own body. However, it is taking way too long for his body to produce enough energy for his meridians to fill in time, which means that it might take him 2 years for them to fill up completely. Because of the Abyssal energy inside of him already, it is currently combating with the adeptal energy, thus, is preventing him from fully developing.” 

Morax nodded, his stare intense, “What do you suggest then?” 

“I been wondering if perhaps we can fill his meridians for him, artificially, with our own adeptal energy.” 

Morax contemplated it for a while before shaking his head, “No, his body is too weak for us to fill it with our energy. It will surely collapse and overwhelm him.” 

Madam Ping looked disappointed but nodded nevertheless, not saying anything as she bowed her head down. 

“Wait, I think that could work,” Guizhong uttered, drawing attention to herself in a quick flash. 

Morax raised an eyebrow, she continued, “Shimei is not wrong, it could potentially work to speed up the process a bit. Besides, shidi’s body composition is not weak, from what I have seen he heals and recovers pretty quickly, it could work.” 

Heck yah! If he went through this strange transformation thingy meant that he could go out and fight once again, then he would gladly take the risk! 

Morax hesitated a bit, Ajax chimed in, “We could try it out a bit…if it gets to be too much I promise I’ll tell all of you.” 

Morax closed his eyes a bit before nodding, “So be it.” 

____________________________

After the first round of energy transmission (?), although Ajax felt a little bit light-headed, he felt perfectly fine. Madam Ping had transmitted the energy via the palm of her hand on his. He felt a swirl of warmth from her hand trickle up his arm, filling him up. 

After a few minutes, Cloud Retainer stopped Madam Ping, before checking both of their wrists, “That is enough now!” 

Madam Ping opened her eyes, blinking once, twice before retracting her hand from his; the energy cut off. Ajax opened his own eyes, looking wearily around the room, feeling energetic for the first time in nearly a month. 

Morax, Guizhong and now even Sky Bracer (?) were sitting around him, staring intently at Ajax. 

He stared back at them, noticing that Sky Bracer had come back from watching the southern border. His eyes dripping full of pure worry, mouth turned into a permanent frown, staring straight through Ajax. 

He came up to Ajax, pressing the back of his hand to his cheeks, “..How are you feeling, shidi? ”

Ajax blinked up to see Sky Bracer, through his lashes, feeling his face warm up as his handsome face was mere centimeters from his own, “I’m…feeling fine, don’t worry, Da-ge.” 

Sky Bracer grinned as he cupped Ajax’s face and leaned forward, “Are you sure, you are frighteningly red? Are you positive you are alright?” 

Ajax felt his entire face heat up once again, as he felt Sky Bracer’s hand brush against his cheek. He smelled of mint and herbal tea, a soothing smell. His hair was tied up into a firm bun, in the back of his head, but a few strands fell forward framing the handsome cut of his jaw. His hair smelled good too, and looked freshly washed; he must have taken a shower before he came here. 

He was dressed in his night-wear, with a simple white cotton shuhe with small swirling patterns of clouds in blue string. He leaned down further, his eyes warm like honey, before he pressed his forehead to Ajax’s own, his deep voice rang out; making the warm feeling in Ajax’s stomach swirl up once more, “You are burning up, shidi.” 

Ajax felt any words instantly die inside of his throat, as he wanted nothing more but to crawl into himself to hide from the burning embarrassment. However, he did nothing and merely stared back into Sky Bracer’s eyes, as his own trailed down, down, down, until they landed on his lips. 

Fuck.

His heart was hammering in his chest, and he felt strangely drawn in by the man before him. The warmth he provided with his gentle gaze and his soft touch, made a part of Ajax spark up once more; like a lit firework ready to implode into vibrant colors. 

But he restrained himself; he couldn’t do it. 

He couldn’t do it, even if he really wanted to.

He couldn’t. He couldn’t because he knew what that would mean. He knew what that would signify for him and his own feelings. 

If he leaned in, he would never go back, he would have to confront his remaining underlying affections for the Archon, he would have to get over the man officially . It would be the signifier of the end; The end to their short, but ever so tender relationship.  

If he leaned in now, and kissed the beautiful man in front of him, it would signify the end of his endless pining, the end of his gut-wrenching affection for a man that simply did not exist. 

It would signify how he had finally given up on the man dying in his era. If he did it, he would lose himself before he could save the man that plagued his dreams and memories. 

So, he didn’t. 

And instead, simply leaned forward into the touch of the palm on his cheek, relishing the fleeting warmth….before he was pulled back instantaneously. 

He glanced up to see Morax staring at Sky Bracer, eyebrows drawn in, a deep frown sprawled his face; he was clearly infuriated, “Enough.” 

His tone was oppressive, commanding power in every word he spoke, just like he did when he was reprimanding Ganyu when she was misbehaving (which was only once, since she never did anything reckless around him afterwards; growing rigid and stiff like a board whenever he came into her line of vision). 

Sky Bracer nervously backed away, before glancing at Morax and bowing down, “…I’m sorry Shizun…I overstepped. ” 

The entire room seemed to freeze as Morax glared at Sky Bracer, clear intent to harm sprawled across his face. Guizhong placed an arm on Morax, causing him to huff and gently slap her hand away from his shoulder. Morax didn’t say anything else, as he let go of Ajax’s arm and exited the room. 

Once he left, the entire room was tense and painfully awkward to be in; Sky Bracer was sitting on the floor playing with what appeared to be puzzles with Ganyu (though his smile was a bit forced), Cloud Retainer was pacing around the room, looking tenser than normal, Madam Ping looked a bit startled and was attempting to make polite conversation with Guizhong and Ajax as she glanced from the door to Ajax. 

They all attempted to carry on, acting as if nothing was wrong whatsoever. But, well, Guizhong wasn’t good at hiding the nervousness in her gaze. 

She was actually the most obviously worried one out of all of them, her brown eyes big and painfully worried. She had actually been the first who had followed Morax, but had come back a few minutes later looking even more worried about his well-being. 

When Ajax had asked what was wrong, she was still like a fawn spotting a predator in the wild; and whispered a mild, “You….perhaps you should ask him yourself, shidi.” 

_____________________________

He didn’t want to. 

Mainly because he was afraid of the subtle implications of what that had meant.

He was far too tired from having spent the rest of the night racking his brain to figure out what that had meant. Why did he pull him away from Sky Bracer? Why did he walk off afterwards? Why was he so bothered by their proximity? 

The more he racked his brain for answers, the less answers there were. He didn’t understand just why he had been bothered by this. 

And well, this wasn’t the first time either, last time he had done the same thing after Sky Bracer had come close to him. 

Did he perhaps hate Sky Bracer? 

No, that couldn't be it. All other times, they were on good terms and regularly talked to each other. Unless all of those smiles were fake, Ajax did not think they were on bad terms. 

Wait.

Was he…..jealous? 

Chapter Text

Morax did not understand why there seemed to be a tight and bitter knot in his chest, alongside the bitter taste in his mouth. He did not understand the feeling in his chest, the tightness and discomfort that swelled up when he saw his precious treasure near his disciple. He still did not understand why he still felt this way. 

He had talked to Guizhong about it, but even after minding her words and attempting to figure out the meaning behind her subtle message, he could not figure it out. 

Ajax was just like any other disciple he had ever had, if not a little special. 

But, even if he paid no attention to his appearance, he was just like any other disciple he had ever had before. He was supposed to be his shidi and nothing else, nothing more. He was supposed to be his youngest disciple and nothing else. 

And yet, there was this ever-growing feeling sprouting inside of his chest like a sick thorny vine, it was slowly ripping his chest apart with doubt and longing. He had no name to the feeling he had felt ever since he laid his eyes on Ajax and slowly got to know him. 

He could admit that at first, he felt a lingering curiosity at what Ajax was; curious about his life, his origin, and what made him function. 

He was curious to see what made him tick, as the mortals once eloquently stated it. 

However, as he got to know the mortal, his curiosity sprouted into a need to hold him close and tightly to his chest. The lying urge to stake a claim on the mortal man, the need to cherish and devour his very attention and touch. The need to place the gorgeous being into his cavern of treasures, for him and him only, for him to admire and hold close. 

He tried to keep these garish desires; however, the longer Ajax stayed in the world he was not a part of, the urges tried their best to break out from the shackles Morax had placed on them. 

Ajax was his precious treasure, his beloved disciple, his strong and valiant warrior who fought for his name on a daily basis and did so with pride. 

But, he was not his. 

He did not belong to anyone, he only belonged to himself. So, then, why did he feel the need to take him as his own, to hide him away selfishly for no one but himself. 

And yet at the center of his core, was but a greedy and selfish dragon who tried to defy his small thread of humanity. Even if he tried his best to play the part of mortality, he could not go against his base instincts. 

So, when gazing upon his precious treasure, his darling mortal leaning into someone else’s touch so eagerly, he felt something scratch at his instincts. 

His mortal was newly recovering from his prior state, and was still burning up. And yet, he was still so eager for Sky Bracer’s touch. They had exchanged words, just like any other ones, ordinary words exchanged during polite conversation. 

And yet…

Morax was not as dense as everyone seemed to think, even if he still did not fully comprehend mortal feelings, and had trouble naming his own. He knew what the shy looks they had given each other meant, he knew what it had meant because he had seen it before. 

He had seen it in the way Cloud Retainer had gazed upon Mei Ying, a physician of 24 years who had climbed up the mountain before to collect herbs and ingredients for her teas, all of those years ago. 

__________________________

Cloud Retainer was patrolling the outer perimeter of her domain, as there was a recent outbreak of Rift-hounds near the outskirts. 

The day was going by slowly, and the hot summer sun beat down on Cloud Retainer. 

And although she was an adepti, even she could not bear the heat of the sun pouring onto her body, so with much reluctance to leave her place, she merely placed herself into the shade to alleviate the heat she was feeling.

Because of such an abrupt outbreak, their Lord had taken it upon himself to indite a new command that forced every single adeptus to always be on watch at any given moment. And so, because of that, Cloud Retainer had barely been given any time for herself (time which she spent attempting to study human behavior, medicine, and attempting to restrain Guizhong from pulling any more jokes on their poor tired Lord, but she digressed). She had been feeling worn out lately and was now slowly loosing her patience staring at the moving dark and vibrant green grass that covered the outside of her domain. 

A part of Cloud Retainer knew it was necessary for her to watch over her domain, lest she wanted to be wiped out clean by a horde of Rift-hounds before she could even pull out her spear. And yet, another part of her was growing extremely bored and annoyed by doing such a boring and mundane task, wishing to go back into the comfort of the clouds above (although, the shade was nice on her aching bones and tendons, it could not compare to the alleviating feeling of soaring through the air, feeling the wind wash over her face). 

The relief from the shade was instantaneous as she breathed a sigh of relief, her eyes dragged across the small field and clear pond….....until......she spotted something out of the corner of her eyes. 

It was a human; a woman from the looks of it. 

She was dressed in a simple dark green qiyao ruqun, with darker embroidered green and violet silk that made small flowers that were sloppily embroidered on (Purple Irises it seemed) on the hems. She had set out into the mountains with a simple conical hat on her head to protect her from the sun and a wood-woven basket strapped to her back to collect the herbs she needed. Her long dark hair was tied back into a tight bun, with a small wooden hair stick to hold it. And as her eyes wandered lower, she noticed the woman's hands and skirt were slightly dirty from the herbs she was pulling out of the dirt, as she was knelt down. 

Cloud Retainer’s irritation grew, as she saw the woman pull and pull at the weeds and flowers that adorned her domain, it was downright disrespectful!!

She stomped her way towards the woman, being careful to turn back into her mortal form, lest she wanted to scare the woman away from her before she could properly scold her. 

Before, when Cloud Retainer had attempted to scold the mortals before, she had been….too harsh on her approach…and had intimidated them beyond belief before they had run away and told the tale of a scary big bird who had attempted to 'kill' them…

Of course, if Cloud Retainer had a choice, she would.......however, she could not. It was against the rules to ever kill a mortal unless they had explicitly attempted to cause harm to you, and yet, even in that case you would have to restrain them before doing anything else. 

And so, Cloud Retainer merely sighed and carried on.

She made her way over to the woman who was recklessly ripping out the precious flowers and herbs on her domain. 

Those herbs were specifically planted and nurtured by Cloud Retainer’s own hands. They were crafted in order to heal different types of ailments; however, they were not constructed for humans in mind. They were made to be used and grown by adepti hands only, Celestia knows how a human would react if they would intake such a potent herb. 

In small amounts, hypothetically it could heal illness and diseases in humans; however, Cloud Retainer was not going to take that risk (not if she wanted to be on the receiving end of Guizhong's scorching fury). Cloud Retainer knew how selfish and greedy humans were, if they were to find out about such a potent herb, they would go at any lengths to retrieve such an herb, even if it meant waging wars against the innocent and killing their own blood and flesh by their own hands. 

She knew just how putrid humanity really was. 

Guizhong would never change her mind, as much as she desperately tried too.

She had personally seen the way humans treated each other and the nature around them; nature that was so willing to share a pice of itself with the humans, a piece they so carelessly threw and stomped on. She had seen the way they had so recklessly thrown one another out as long as it meant survival, she had seen the way they harmed each other for nothing but their own pleasure, she had seen the corruption in their own kind. She had seen just how pretentious and arrogant they had truly become, and the ugly and disgusting facades they showed each other. 

But even the 'good' humans, were nothing but waste and hypocrites. Willing to act kind and treat others with respect as long as they got the same in turn, and not solely out of the kindness of their own hearts. The good humans were the worst of them all, as they were liars who hid behind their own pretenses of benevolence and goodness, who she saw actively commit terrible things in her own name, for their own 'greater good' and their own selfish and foolish views on 'morality'. 

They were nothing but selfish parasites who drained the nature around them, until there would be no more. And yet, they were expected to protect such complex and foul beings with all of their might.....Celestia was truly a mystery...

Cloud Retainer did not understand just who neither Celestia nor Guizhong saw in them, and she feared, that she would never understand. 

She cleared out her throat, the smaller woman peaked her head up, and gazed up at Cloud Retainer. She looked tired, sweat dripped down her brow, her cheeks were slightly reddened by the hot sun, and her eyes attempted to make sense of the thing before her (which Cloud Retainer guessed must have been due to the blazing sun behind her). 

She gave her no time to react as she took out her spear before she pointed it towards the woman’s neck, “Insolent mortal, you are trespassing holy ground! Get out or face the dire consequences!” 

The woman blinked, once, twice, before she smiled gently, before she kowtowed on the ground, “Oh! Benevolent adeptus! Please accept this offering of mine!” 

She scoured around her sleeves before she pulled out a small glittering jade ring. She then held the ring up high towards Cloud Retainer, head still glued to the ground, “Please! Accept my offer! Please help my mother! I beg you!” 

Cloud Retainer blinked, surprised….before she scoffed, taking the small ring from her hands, gazing at it in her hand. It seemed to be made of real white jade, and had an assortment of engraved patterns no doubt made by a maste, but considering its size, it would be worth nothing. 

It was almost laughable how the woman thought it was worthwhile to an adeptus, “Foolish girl", she lifted the woman’s head with her foot, laughing at the mortals ignorance, “This ring is worthless, and yet you wish to offer it before one’s own eyes? And to tear out one’s own herbs before one’s domain! How foolish you are, indeed.” 

The woman blinked, before she bowed her head downwards, “This humble servant deeply apologizes, one was not aware that a gracious adepti planted the herbs! One was simply trying to get one's attention, but one had no idea that these herbs belonged to such a gracious adeptus!  And…one…knows it is not worth your time gracious adeptus. It is worthless as you said, and certainly not a grandiose offering worth such a prestigious adeptus! But, please, one begs of you! Please, if you will! Help my mother and one will pay you back with my life if one has too!! But please....I…. have nowhere else to go ..” 

Cloud Retainer paused, before she sighed. She has grown rather soft since her early days, and that had transferred over to the way she acted before mortals, ever since A-Qiu had stumbled into their lives. And although she despised humans, even she could not ignore how much she pitied their miserable existence of a mere 100 years or even fewer than that. If this woman were to ask her a mere hundred years ago, she would have disagreed, scoffing and chasing her out of her domain without so much as a blink of an eye. 

And besides, if she would turn the woman down, and leave her begging someone to help her dying mother, Guizhong would never forgive her for it. 

“....One accepts your offer.” 

The girl looked up, her smile bright and toothy, she bowed down once more, “Thank you! Thank you, gracious bodhisattva!! This humble servant swears on my own miserable life that one will spend the rest of it attempting to repay you, gracious and powerful adeptus!!” 

Cloud Retainer scoffed, “Come now, foolish girl. Quit bowing your head down, you’ll get dizzy….Lead one to your ailing mother.” 

The lady hurried up before she followed behind Cloud Retainer and led her down the mountain towards her small hut located near the forest. Inside, there was an older woman, covered in sweat and barely breathing. 

Cloud Retainer pressed her fingers against her wrist, feeling just how weak her meridians really were. Judging from how they were, the woman was most likely suffering from a lung problem of some sort, as her breathing was severely weak. And even if the condition itself was not lethal, because the woman was already very old, her immune system was already weak, leading the condition to worsen if not treated properly. 

Cloud Retainer pressed her finger to the woman’s temple, slowly using her elemental energy to attempt to clear out the woman’s lungs. As she did so, she ordered the woman to use the herbs she had collected to make a tea out of it, which would help her mother’s lungs clear out sooner. 

The woman cried in joy, and bowed down once more before Cloud Retainer.

________________________

Mei Ying was her name. 

Her most devoted physician, was standing before her, holding out a pile of rocks with the hem of her skirt. 

Her inky spill of hair spilled past her shoulders freely, not restrained any longer by the wooden hair stick that was once wrapped around it so tightly. She was inside of the chilly river water, collecting the interesting sediments and bizarre bugs, getting distracted from the main task, and shamelessly showing them with a large grin on her face to Cloud Retainer (who merely spared it a single glance before she scoffed and carried on with her ministrations). 

They were out collecting lotus roots from the river, after Cloud Retainer offered to make lotus root soup if Mei Ying brought her a proper offering. 

Cloud Retainer made this offer, knowing that the foolish girl could not attain such treasures that would make a proper offering for an adeptus. However, she was deemed wrong when the girl sprawled out a cloth over a table, lit up some incense, said a prayer, set down some food, and offered up some golden jewels. 

She did not know where the jewels had come from, but did not question it as she accepted her offering as long as A-Ying helped her collect the ingredients. She agreed, grin and basket in hand as she set down the mountain with Cloud Retainer towards the clear waters. 

They had been eventful, collecting and carefully ripping the root from the flower itself, inside the steep waters. Cloud Retainer hated water, and so, she hastily collected the roots with a slice of her spear and tossed them into her own bamboo woven bag. However, the same could not be said about A-Ying who was leisurely strolling through the rocky waters, cutting the roots with utmost care as she collected the many shiny rocks she spotted and tossed them alongside her basket. But, soon she had figured out that whenever she would place the rocks into her basket, because it was woven, there were gaps in the basket, which meant that the rocks would fall through the holes. 

It was a silly sight to see just how oblivious the foolish mortal was. It took her 30 minutes to even figure out that her precious rocks were falling back into the river….at which point she began to forget about collecting lotus roots and started to hoard the shiny stones she found and hold them by the hem of her skirt. 

It was quite the sight…..Cloud Retainer had never expected to see a human be drawn to shiny things as much as she had seen Morax do it (dragons were known to be hoarders of the fineries in life anyway). 

“Jie! Look! Look! This one is interesting I promise!!” 

Knowing that she could not deny Ying lest she wanted to be further annoyed by her whining. Cloud Retainer sighed before she halted her slicing to look back to see Mei holding out an luminous stone with two of her fingers, a stone that shined opalescent whenever the sunlight would hit it at certain angles. 

She grinned as she scooted closer to Cloud Retainer…

However, in her overeager and overzealous excitement, she did not foresee the giant rock inside of the clear waters in her way, resulting in her tripping over it and subsequently falling over. 

Unfortunately, Cloud Retainer had been too slow, when she had attempted to hold her still, and in her worry had lost her balance and fallen over as well…which was far more embarrassing considering the fact that she had to have excellent balance…she supposed that she had to practice more after…

Cloud Retainer sighed before she opened her eyes to see Ying leaning over her, wide-eyed and apologetic, “Ah! I’m so sorry, Jie! Are you okay?” 

Cloud Retainer scoffed before she lifted herself from the rocky ground beneath her and attempted not to wince as she felt her shoulder give in itself. During the fall, Cloud Retainer had fallen badly onto one of the jagged boulders and the added weight of Mei did not help the impact her body went through. 

She stood up, and started to gather the lotus roots back into the basket, as they had fallen when they had fallen. Ying began to follow in her stead, before she halted, and rushed to Cloud Retainer’s side, “Jie! You’re injured!” 

She clung to Cloud Retainer’s side, as she hurriedly stared at the blood seeping through the cloth, “You’re bleeding!” 

Cloud Retainer scoffed before she shrugged her off, “Foolish girl, a minor wound like this has no need for such a big reaction. One will attend to it once we set foot inside of one’s domain.” 

It was true. 

Being in constant danger, being in a never-ending war, where one’s own life is not guaranteed. Minor wounds such as teared tissue, or broken bones did not deserve such a huge reaction. As long as one was intact and alive, it did not matter if the rest of one’s own self was torn or tattered horribly. 

And besides that, it was not as if adepti were made to survive. Adepti were made by Celestia to serve the mortals and protect them. They were nothing but tools crafted by Celestia herself to help form the kingdoms she etched into her decree for the new world she created. 

They were meant to serve, kill, and die. 

That was the purpose for their entire existence, adepti had no other purpose other than that. Emotions, feelings, pain and pleasure were all things that were deemed useless and worthless for an adepti to even think about. They were all something that they were supposed to ignore. Those things only got in the way of Celestia’s great plan.

They were worthless to even bear to give a second glance too. 

Cloud Retainer had long accepted that she would never get to experience those things ever since she was sprouted into existence just like every other adeptus down by a mountain. They were created to serve and were all destined to die in battle, like all of those before them. 

And so, wounds and pain were all things that were rudimentary and worthless. Even more so when you were still alive and breathing. 

Mei Ying gave a long sigh, “...Okay, but at least give me the basket, I’ll carry it. It will hurt your shoulder even more if you choose to carry it.”