Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Freshly cut grass and Cedar trees, a hint of artificially enhanced Jasmine (probably someone's perfume), a mild whiff of cotton candy from a nearby booth, a touch of gasoline, and the undeniably potent smell of wet dog fur.

Cas was resting on his back, eyes closed, hands at his sides, attention centered on identifying and cataloguing the different aromas and odors swirling in the gentle breeze all around him. It was an exercise in Mindfulness, a form of meditation, and Cas's way of pacifying his sometimes overly active nerves system.

Cas did his best pushing the noises of people chatting, children screaming and playing and cars honking, to the back of his mind. The park was amongst the loveliest and quietest ones around his neighborhood, but it was also quite busy during the late afternoon hours.

Usually, he'd bring his noise blocking earphones to make sure he was completely tuned out but today he needed a sense of connection to the outside world, because he wasn’t entirely on his own.

Cas took a moment to shift his awareness back, keeping his eyelids firmly shut, when suddenly something slimy was moving on his face. He opened his eyes to find a pink, wriggly tongue smearing his cheeks and nose with smelly, gooey, saliva.

"Toad!" he yelled, sitting up and chuckling, "Eww, you stink!"
The Pitbull plopped down next to him like a child whose been scolded, tongue hanging and drooling all over the little checkered blanket Cas had spread underneath them. The dog was wagging its tail joyfully and his huge mouth curled up at the sides, like he was smiling.

"Come here, you big softy" Cas said affectionately, unable to stay mad at the mutt. He tapped his knee and a moment later, an excited, heavy body was on him, paws digging into his thigh, and that cheeky tongue licked him again, nose playfully nudging him.

Cas cuddled back, wrapping his arms around the pooch's massive shoulders. He pulled a medium sized yellow ball out of his canvas bag, and after carefully checking to see no one was standing in the way, threw the ball as far as he could. Toad was on it a second later, sprinting across the grassy terrain.

"Crazy mother-fudger" Cas muttered under his breath, speaking to the other dog that was snoozing at his bare feet. It was a small male Pinscher named Anubis, who looked incredibly uninterested in what Cas had to say. The dog perked his tiny head up, giving Cas a condescending glare, then turned its back to settle in a tiny ball of oblivion.

Cas huffed out a laugh, not expecting anything else from the 8-year-old menace that was Anubis. It was surprising to see that the dog even bothered looking at him in the first place. Anubis had disliked most people and straight up hated others. The ones he tolerated were scarce and should consider themselves lucky to be allowed around his royal presence.

Toad and Anubis were Cas's foster dogs. He had volunteered at the animal shelter for many years but had only recently gathered the courage to try fostering long term. He had a lot of experience tending to dogs, walking them, communicating with them (which he found easier than talking to people), but had never "owned" a dog up until now. He thought of this experience as a test run for adopting one for good someday.

Cas was what you might call a "Basket case". Shy, introverted, socially awkward and prone to having anxiety attacks. He found it incredibly draining to be around other people, not to mention trying to decipher nonverbal communications and social cues. He was diagnosed with ASD only five years prior and was still trying to make sense of the term that was now supposed to be a major part of his identity. It mattered nothing to him what was written on his diagnosis, what was really important for him is to try and live a fulfilling, meaningful life, and be happy despite his struggles.

Cas, or Castiel as his birth certificate claimed (I mean, come on, wasn’t he weird enough?) was terribly unskilled when it came to forming and maintaining friendships. Only a handful of people endured his blunt way of expression or his direct demeanor. People often mistook his candidness as offensive, even when he was basically calling things for what they were.

Cas couldn’t for the life of him stand hypocrisy, he never engaged in flattery and had a problem accepting praise from others. All he wanted was for people to tell him how they actually felt and express what was on their minds, not some lessened version of the truth.

Was such honesty too much to ask? Apparently, it was, and Cas often found himself rejected and misunderstood. Frankly, he had sort of stopped trying.

Unlike humans, understanding dogs was easy for Cas. They were open, communicative, and wore their hearts on their sleeves, or rather, their tails. He could immediately tell when a dog was happy, afraid, sad or excited, and felt like they could understand him too, without him having to make excruciating efforts of explaining his intentions.

Toad, a cheerful 4-year-old Pitbull who was abandoned on the streets in the middle of a blizzard two winters ago, and Anubis, the prince of posh canines, were now under his responsibility and living with him in his compact apartment. Anubis and Toad were "roommates" at the shelter, and got along surprisingly well, given the fact that they were the complete opposites of one another.

It's been over two months since Cas took them home. He knew he was in love with Toad from the moment he laid eyes on the jumpy, friendly pup, and, after he was given a promise Toad's snarling neighbor was going to behave once he was comfortable, Cas took Anubis in as well, and had grown to care for him deeply.

Despite the Pinscher being the dictionary definition of "Aloof", he eventually ended up cuddling every night next to Cas on the couch, and on rare occasions he'd even lick Cas's hand when he was in the mood for receiving affection, but usually Anubis just liked to be left alone and snooze, like this world wasn’t interesting enough for him to bother.

They fit rather well into Cas's little life. He usually worked from home as a freelance graphic designer, which meant that he was free to take them outside at least three times a day. The trips to the park became his favorite part of the day, and there was the added benefit of soaking in some sunlight, to help contrast Cas's usually pale appearance.

When Cas was working or painting in his office/ studio room, the dogs waited patiently outside the door. Toad had a fluffy bed which he loved napping in, and Anubis usually slept where Cas slept, soaking up warmth. He made sure their water bowl was always full and twice a day, on the exact same hour, he fed them. He even took the time to brush Toad's thick fur (Anubis would have killed him for even trying).

As a man of habits, Cas noticed that dogs also liked routines and would show signs of stress when said routine was broken. Cas himself struggled coping around big changes, and his daily schedule was usually strict and well-choreographed. It helped him feel safe, grounded in a world that too often twisted and turned out of his control.

On the other hand, having a living creature by his side, with its own thoughts, feelings and reactions, helped Cas develop some needed flexibility. Dogs constantly responded to their surroundings and learned something new from every interaction, and Cas figured there was a lesson here for him to learn as well.

It took a while for Toad to return with the ball and Cas scanned his surroundings looking for the trademark deep brown fur with hints of white patches. He finally spotted the dog about fifty feet away from where Cas was sitting. There was a family of five- two females and one tall male holding a toddler, sitting in the grass. Another broad-shouldered, sandy haired person was standing next to them with his back to Cas, looking down at Toad while a second dog, a Golden Retriever, was jumping around them enthusiastically.

Concerned for Toad's wellbeing, since he posed no threat whatsoever to anyone, being a big cuddly lump, Cas rose to his feet and started walking towards them. Anubis stayed put, lazily and unknowingly guarding their spot.

Cas stopped about five feet away from the small gathering and called Toad back, but the canine was busy playing with the Retriever and chasing the ball, and simply ignored him. The broad-shouldered man turned when he heard the call, and Cas was now faced with one of the handsomest men he'd ever seen.

Forest-green eyes, arched pouty lips, a strong jaw with a bit of scruff on and blondish brown, casually tousled hair, was all he could focus on. A second look revealed that the man with enticingly bowed legs, clad in blue jeans and a printed grey tee, had model like figure, with muscles bursting out of sleeves and stretching his shirt in ways that made Cas's mouth run dry. He was openly ogling, wasn’t he?

Did he mention that in addition to being on the spectrum he was also gay? Yep, Cas was never into being average, unique existence was written in the stars for him.

The man looked Cas over like he was assessing a threat, but then smiled and motioned at Toad, who was jumping up and down, ball in mouth.

"This your dog?" he said in a low, southern accented voice.

"Yes. Toad, we're leaving, come here" Cas repeated sternly, and the dog dropped the ball and obediently rushed to sit next to Cas's heel.

"His name's Toad?" one of the women, silver haired and fair, asked. She was dangling a soft looking toy in front of the toddler while he tried to grab it with his petite hands.

"Yes"

The sandy-haired, too handsome to be legal, man was still observing Cas, eyes squinted in what looked like either deep interest or aversion. "That's an awesome name" he said then, sounding pleased.

"Why Toad?" Asked the other tall male, who had bright inquisitive eyes, shoulder height brown hair and heavy build.

"He likes jumping. Jumping into muddy puddles particularly" Cas simply replied like it was the most logical conclusion.

The four people burst out laughing. Crazily handsome threw his head back and was laughing the hardest, exposing his neck and Adam's apple. Cas couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like to lick a stripe down that delicious looking throat. He continued to stand while they giggled, sensing the conversation wasn’t over yet. His therapist had told him to pay attention to the flow of conversations, since he sometimes would just leave the minute the other person finished talking.

"Well, Stevie seems to like him, AND you" the green-eyed man said, pointing at the cheerful looking Retriever, and Cas suddenly noticed that the other dog was sitting patiently next to his other heel. He bent down and patted her neck, whispering something incoherent in her ear while using his most soothing voice. The Golden wagged her tail and licked his nose, and Cas smiled at her, forgetting for a moment that he was supposed to respond to what the other man said.

Raising to his feet and facing the man, who was once again staring curiously at him, Cas replied: "I like her as well, and so does Toad". Then he turned and walked away, summoning the Pitbull to follow him.

Chapter Text

As they were getting ready to head home, Dean's mind kept wandering back to the blue-eyed man with the funny dog named Toad and the strange behavior.

He was surprised by the way his body reacted when he first saw the guy's gorgeous face, taking in the mess of unruly dark strands on his head, the rosy cheeks and plush lips, the chiseled scruffy jaw, and those cerulean circles that one could just get lost in.
It made Dean feel warm all over, and a wave of nervous excitement washed over him.

The guy's body wasn’t too bad either. He was tall, but not as tall as Dean, lean and toned. He was wearing a pair of bright blue washed jeans and a beige t-shirt that hung loosely on his well-defined collar bone. He wasn’t wearing any shoes and had a hint of a hippie vibe, but Dean couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was that made him seem other worldly. Anyway, the blond man found himself fascinated.

Dean had tried flirting with him a little, giving him one of his most seductive glares, since he was a flirt by nature, but the guy seemed immune to his charms. Dean even gave him an obvious once over from head to exposed toe, zeroing on the groin area just to see how the guy reacted, but nothing changed in his stoic appearance. The only time the guy had a facial expression that resembled a smile was when he bent down and interacted with Stevie.

Dean was shocked to see how quickly the dog seemed to bond with the guy, sitting politely at his feet, licking his nose lovingly. She never did that with Dean. The guy must have a gift for communicating with members of the canine species. Sam had given his older brother a meaningful look when he saw Dean's reaction, but Dean chose to ignore it.

His amazement went even further when the hunk simply walked away, Pitbull in toe, without acknowledging or greeting Dean and his family goodbye. It was as if he couldn’t care less, but it didn’t seem to be rooted in rudeness. The whole thing was baffling, yet here was Dean, wondering what it would feel like touching the piece of tanned skin that peeked out of the guy's shirt, or pressing his lips to those pink pillows. He couldn’t help from wanting to know more, the man was like a secret waiting to be unveiled, and Dean wanted a part of the adventure.

Chapter Text

Cedar trees, gasoline, frangipani blossom, smoked ham?
Cas opened his eyes and grabbed the ball Toad was trying to shove into his hand, throwing it carefully as hard as he could. The dog ran after it.

Cas took out a bottle of water from his bag and drank, then opened a foldable rubber bowl and poured some water inside. He placed the bowl next to the napping Anubis and watched him give a complimentary lick.

Toad returned, ball in mouth, and tried to push it into Cas's hand again but the man took the ball and put it aside, then pointed at the water bowl, "Time to drink".
Toad dipped his head in and gulped down noisily, water sloshing everywhere. When he was done, he started shaking his head from side to side, spraying Cas with drops of liquid. Cas grimaced and hid his face in his palms, trying to avoid being covered in spit.

Someone was snickering near by, and Cas looked up to see the green-eyed man from a week ago and his dog, standing next to them. Toad ran towards the Retriever and started sniffing its butt, wagging his tail excitedly.
"Hey there, nice to see you again" the blond man said, flashing a perfectly dazzling smile.

"Nice to see you too, but I'm not going to sniff your butt" Cas deadpanned, not sure if he was stating a fact or trying for a joke.

The guy looked at him, stunned, but then his laughter roared from deep within his chest. He tilted his head back, exposing that seductive throat. This time, Cas's mouth salivated, perhaps inspired by Toad.
"I believe a simple how do you do? Is a better option" the guy said.

"I don’t know you, so I don't have a frame of reference for your answer, but I'll play along. How do you do?"

"I'm great, thank you very much", the guy replied, amused, "How are you, dog person?"

"The name's Cas"

"Dean" was the reply, and then the guy sat down in a vacant corner on Cas's blanket, not bothering to ask for Cas's permission, but the dark haired man was somehow fine with him doing that. The man seemed nice, attractive, and was for some reason initiating an interaction with him.

Toad and the dog he now knew as Stevie were running and playing together, rolling in the grass. "Who's this lovely lady?" Dean asked, pointing at Anubis, who was eyeing him quietly from his spot near Cas's bare feet.

"It's a HE, and his name is Anubis"

"Seriously? Where do you come up with the names? I thought naming my dog Stevie was unique, but damn"

"The names were assigned to them before I was, so I can't take any credit, but they seem to fit well into the expectations that comes along with said names"

"I didn’t understand a word you just said, but I think naming this harmless, tiny fur ball Anubis is hilariously ironic" Dean said, hand trying to reach Anubis and pat him on the head.

"I wouldn’t do that if I were you" Cas warned, and a second later came a distinctive growl from the Pinscher's direction. Dean pulled his hand away quickly. "Oh…now I get it, he's a feisty son of a bitch"

"That's an accurate description of the creature that gave birth to him" Cas responded.

Dean was laughing again. "Cas, you're a really funny dude" he said fondly, green eyes glimmering while he stared at Cas's face like he was looking for some kind of acknowledgment. "So…" Dean continued, his hand lifting to rub the back of his neck, "Do you come here often?"

"Once a week, at least, depending on the workload, the weather and general mood" Cas answered, and Dean was staring again, like he couldn’t believe Cas was real.

"I meant…you know what, never mind" Dean stuck his hand inside his jean's pocket, like he had changed his mind about something.

"Why did you name your dog Stevie?"

"Stevie Nicks? The singer from Fleetwood Mac?"

"I don’t know who they are. Is he a good singer?"

"She. And yes, I love her voice, she's blond and beautiful, much like my Stevie"

"You're blond and beautiful" Cas said before he could even think about it.

Dean's face turned red and he chuckled, looking almost embarrassed? Was Cas not supposed to say that? "I'm sorry if I've offended you" he quickly added.

"Offended me? No! Not at all, I'm just not very good with compliments"

"I can relate to that" Cas said gently.

"Really? A good-looking guy such as yourself? I bet you get hit on all the time"

"No. I'm awkward and my people skills are "rusty", he said, gesturing with air quotes.

"I'm not gonna lie, you ARE awkward, but in a sweet kind of way, you know?"

"I do not know"

Dean beamed at him. "See what I mean?"

"I do not "see" meanings, Dean" Cas uttered, somewhat annoyed. He couldn’t grasp Dean's intentions by complimenting his looks and calling his social impairments "sweet". Suddenly he was afraid that perhaps Dean was making fun of him. A sense of unease spread through his veins and he took a deep breath, trying to compose himself.

Toad and Stevie were still jumping about like they were the best of friends. The sun was beginning to set, and Cas figured it was time to head home.

"We'll be going now" he said, standing up and grabbing Anubis, tucking him under his arm pit. "You need to evacuate my blanket" he said to Dean, sounding a tad more bitter than intended.

"I will EVACUATE immediately" Dean announced playfully and jumped to his feet.

Cas finished gathering his things, which basically meant shoving the water bowl, the blanket, and the ball into his bag. He put his shoes on, fastened Toad's harness and leash, and only then turned to face Dean again.

"Thank you for your company" he said, looking at Stevie. "It was interesting talking to you, Dean" he continued, and the green-eyed man suddenly took a step forward, closing the distance between them.

"Can I see you again, Cas?" he asked, a cautious frown spreading across his face.

"We'll probably be here next Thursday"

"Ok, so I'll try to catch up with you, I'm sure Toad would love some quality time with Stevie, and Anubis can do… well, whatever the fuck it is he does, probably planning to take over the world"

It was funny. Dean had implied that Anubis was being unfriendly because he was secretly conspiring to subjugate the human race. Before he knew it, Cas let out a series of tiny giggles and his lips curled upwards in a gummy smile.

Dean looked like he'd seen a ghost. Eyes wide and mouth open. "Wow" he mumbled.

"What?"

"You have an amazing smile" Dean said, blushing again and rubbing his neck in what seemed to be an anxiety induced habit.

"I'm going home now" Cas replied, and then turned and walked away with Toad leading the way, tail wagging.

Chapter Text

"What are you smiling about?" Sam asked, picking Jack up from crawling under the kitchen table. The 2-year-old was inquisitive and bold and liked getting into places he shouldn’t get into. He reminded Dean of himself when he was a snotty-nosed naughty child.

"I've met someone, and I think I really like him" Dean admitted. Slightly blushing, he lifted his coffee cup and drank from it slowly, savoring the rich taste.

"It's that dog guy, right?" Sam raised an eyebrow at his older brother's surprised look. "What? I know you, Dean, you've always had a thing for the quiet and quirky"

"I guess I do have a "thing", Sammy" Dean said, chuckling softly and thinking about the gentle way Cas had interacted with his dog. It was endearing and Dean was somewhat charmed by the guy's unapologetic way of expression.

"He seems like a cool dude, albeit a little odd" Sam said while trying to prevent Jack from sticking an applesauce covered finger up his nose. The toddler squirmed in his father's arms, and ended up smearing goo on Sam's white polo shirt.

"Yeah, but for some reason, it's only makes me want to get him to open up more. Is that weird?"

"Not at all. Dean, you're used to people falling at your feet, openly flirting with you, chasing after you, and here comes someone who's not fooled by your looks and probably cares more about character, so it seems only logical to me that you'll want to explore this new way of meeting someone. You're used to relationships being easy, Dean, when in fact, real connections are nothing but"

"Dammit, Sammy, I always knew you're the smart one, and you're probably right. With Lisa it was so easy for me to let go, I mean, one minute she was there and then she wasn’t, and I was like "that's fine", and I remember how surprised I was that I didn’t really miss her all that much, even though we were together for three years…"

"But were you really TOGETHER? I mean, did you feel like she was a part of your very core, and when she was away, did your body crave her touch? That's how I feel every time Jess goes to work or when I don’t get to talk to her for a long period of time. I feel her not only when she's there, but also, and especially, when she isn’t"

"That's the sappiest thing I've ever heard in my life, Sammy, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but I totally get it" Dean placed his mug in the sink and approached Sam who was standing by the window. He reached for Jack and the toddler practically jumped into his uncle's arms, babbling excitedly. Dean lifted the baby and stuck his nose into Jack's belly, blowing raspberries. Jack laughed and shrieked with delight, causing Dean and Sam to laugh as well.

"I want THAT" Dean said as he lowered the baby and settled him in his lap, swaying from side to side. "I want what you and Jess have, and I want a kid that's funny and wayward much like Jack-Jack here". He smooched Jack loudly on the cheek.

Dean was thirty five, had a steady job and a supportive family, had several short term relationships and one long term with Lisa, who failed miserably at being what he thought commitment would look like. He was ready to settle down with a significant other, and was no longer afraid of his bisexuality, the shame ship has sailed long ago.

Despite people usually referring to him as a "catch", Dean still hadn’t found that special someone who made his heart expand, who felt real enough for Dean to let down his guard. He was riddled with insecurities, worried that people only wanted him for his looks and that they weren’t really interested to get to know him as a person.

Perhaps Cas was different. He didn’t try to impress Dean, didn’t even flirt back (expect for calling him blond and beautiful), and he was polite and funny. His attitude towards dogs was something Dean admired. Cas was observant, sensitive, and honest, and those were all qualities Dean had hoped to find in a partner. Fine, the guy was also drop dead gorgeous beyond his wildest dreams, with his slender muscularity and those blue eyes, damn…

"You deserve that, Dean. You're a good man and an awesome brother, and if you'll allow yourself to be a little less stupid, and a little more honest and open emotionally, I'm sure it will happen sooner than you think"

"Thanks, Sammy. Now, why don’t we go out for a little walk with Jack and Stevie and try to score some hot chicks along the way". Dean winked as his brother scoffed and shook his head in dismay.

Chapter Text

Cedar trees, freshly cut grass, somebody definitely smoking marijuana, cotton candy, gasoline, pines? There are no pines nearby. The fragrance felt somewhat familiar, and Cas opened his eyes to a pair of forest greens staring down at him. Dean.

"Hey, Cas, what're you doing?"

Cas set up, his moment of concentration over. "Hello Dean, hello Stevie" he said to the Retriever as she approached him, asking for attention. He scratched her head and whispered something meaningless into her ear, using his calm tone. The dog licked his cheek in return and rubbed her nose on his chest.

"How do you do that? It's like you speak their language" Dean said, sounding astounded.

"I DO speak their language, just not in so many words"

"You'll have to teach me sometime" Dean pleaded as he sat down next to Cas on the blanket, this time completely disregarding Anubis. It was mutual.

"I listen to them, and tell them how I feel towards them, nothing more" Cas tried to explain. Stevie was currently lying next to him, belly in the air, as he scratched her vigorously. Toad was playing with his ball on the far end of the park, but when he saw his new friends, he ran straight to Dean and licked his face.

"Eww, you're a good, smelly dog, Toad", Dean chuckled. "What were you doing earlier, before we came over?"

"I was making a list of all the smells I can detect. It's an exercise at being mindful"

"Listing smells? You mean other than Toad's nasty breath?"

"It's usually on the list as well, but today I also noticed pines, and it was when you and Stevie approached us"

"Maybe it's my cologne?" Dean suggested. He was now laying on his back, hands under his head, while Cas was sitting in a lotus position next to him. To Cas's amazement, it didn’t feel weird or uncomfortable like it usually was when other people had invaded his personal space.

"I'll have to check" Cas replied, and the next minute he was leaning over Dean until his nose was inches away from the man's neck. Dean tensed up, frozen in place while Cas sniffed the air once, twice, three times, then moved away.

When he looked back at Dean, the man's pupils were dilated and his mouth slightly open. He gaped at Cas, then swallowed loudly and lifted up to a sitting position, rubbing the back of his neck, "Fuck…" he mumbled, sounding out of breath.

"Dean, was that not ok? I'm sorry, we were talking about aromas, and I wanted to check if you smelled like pines, since there are no pines in this park, and I only smelled it when you came near. You do smell like pines so it must be your cologne by the way" Cas said, a little worried that he had done something that made his new acquaintance feel uncomfortable.
"Cas, it's fine, I just… wasn’t expecting you to get this close and intimate"

"Intimate? I assure you that was not my intention" Cas's level of anxiety was rising by the minute. He was starting to fidget with his hands, and Dean must have noticed, because his expression shifted into something softer.

"Hey, I promise, it's all right, don’t worry about it"

"I worry because people always assume the worst about me. I told you my people skills were out of tune"

"Well, I like you if that helps, and I think you're a very caring person"

"Thank you, Dean. I think someday I'll like you too, I just don’t know you yet"

Dean snickered. "Are you always this brutally honest?"

"Yes. Now you see my problem?"

"I find it refreshing. I find YOU refreshing" Dean said, looking at Cas intently, and Cas felt warm blush creeping up his cheeks. Dean kept observing him, and a pink tongue flicked from between his lips and moved across the bottom one, making it glossy. Cas absentmindedly mimicked the gesture, warmth spreading through his body from face to groin.

Cas wondered for a second if Dean was attracted to him the same way he was to Dean, but there was nothing conclusive about his words. It was possible and likely that he liked Cas as a friend and nothing more. There were times when Cas had made the assumption that someone fancied him, only for it to end in a heart break. He needed to be cautious, and he needed to protect himself.

Dean was beautiful, manly, and full of confidence, there was no way he was interested in someone as reserved and eccentric as Cas. Besides, even Cas could tell a guy like that had "Ladies man" written all over his perfect body, so the chances of him being gay were zero to none. Might as well keep his expectations low.

Cas lay back down on the blanket and noticed Dean doing the same. It was still too early to go home and cook dinner, and Toad and Stevie were keeping each other busy, chasing one another across the lawn.

"Would you like to join me on my smelling exercise?" Cas offered.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but sure, why the hell not?"

"Ok, Dean" Cas said, using his soft tone and speaking slowly, "follow my lead and focus on my voice. Close your eyes and relax your body, make sure your limbs are comfortable. You can shift your position if necessary. Tilt your chin slightly upwards to open up the airways, now take three deep breaths"

Cas finished instructing and took three deep breaths as well, he could hear the sound of Dean inhaling and exhaling next to him. They were lying side by side on the not so big blanket, shoulders almost touching.

"Now, I need you to take another deep breath and hold it in your lungs for two seconds, then, describe to me the first smell you noticed"

It took a moment but then Dean replied. "Grass, freshly cut grass"

"Good. Now do that again and see if you can pick up on anything else" Cas took a sneak peek at the blond man, and saw him inhaling and holding, eyes closed, eyebrows frowned in an effort to concentrate.

"Um…I smell something like a tree or a different plant, and also gasoline, from a car, and something else…honey or caramel, it feels almost sweet"

"Very good. It's really not bad for a first timer. Usually, people are so overwhelmed when they try and focus on smelling something. It's because we take smells for granted, we do it so instinctively that we never bother to give it a second thought"

Cas opened his eyes, sitting up to find Dean sitting and stretching as well, then turning to face him, a tender smile on his face.

"I guess I've never thought about it…" Dean said in a pondering manner. "How often do you practice your, um…smelling?"

"About once or twice a week, it helps me make sense of all the clatter in my head"

"I'm surprised at how peaceful I feel right now. Worked like magic. I seldom find myself being able to relax without the assistance of booze or other… recreational activities"

"I'm glad to hear that, Dean. Glad I could help"

"You really mean that, don’t you?"

"I always mean what I say, why bother wasting words that aren’t the truth?"

Dean glared at him intensely, like Cas had said something preposterous, but then he said "That is possibly the smartest thing I've heard, you're a real Zen master, Cas"

"I've never practiced Zen in my life, I just find it difficult to understand indirect communication, so I try to be as sincere as possible"

"Can I be honest with you?" Dean asked, and there was the neck rubbing gesture, implying that Dean was a little uneased. Perhaps Cas was a tiny bit able at deciphering nonverbal communication after all? He wondered.

"Always"

"You intrigue me. I think you're brilliant, and incredibly attractive, dare I say sexy, and you're different, but in a good way. I think what I'm trying to say is that I'd like to take you out on a date, just us, no canines included, but I will let you sniff me if you ask nicely" he added with a wink, "So, what do you say?"

Cas stared at Dean's handsome, smiling face. He was somewhat dumbfounded to hear that Dean was interested in him in a romantic way. Obviously, given the opportunity, he'd jump the man's bones in a heartbeat. Cas was a bundle of nerves and quirks on his good days, but he was no virgin, and had his share of sexual experiences. Some were traumatic enough to keep him awake at night, but some were tender and enjoyable, and he cherished those memories.

It took Cas another minute to realize that he was staring at Dean without saying anything back. He looked around, waiting for Toad or Stevie to come over and demand attention, but alas, they were still busy being dogs.

"Dean, are you sure you want to date me? I mean, I do have some self-esteem and I know I'm smart and caring and according to a surprising number of former lovers, am quite the "stud" (of course he used air quotes) in bed, but I am also incredibly bad at identifying social signals and maintaining friendships, and I like certain things to be done a certain way, and I tend to be anxious at times, and…"

"Cas…shut up already" Came Dean's determined voice, and he looked like he was about to burst into laughter. Cas obeyed.

"Listen, I'm not offering you to marry me, although that "stud" remark definitely caught my attention, I'm just saying that I like you and I'd like to get to know you, whatever you feel comfortable sharing. We can start with one date, and if all goes well, perhaps you'll even consider another date. It's up to you, and I'll try to be honest and direct because I agree with you that playing games should be kept to the playroom and the bedroom" he winked again, and this time Cas knew exactly what he meant and smiled back.

"Ok, Dean. I accept. Let's go out on a date"

"Awesome, do you like pie?"

"I do like pie"

"Great. I'd like to take you to a small, not overly crowded bakery that I know, and we'll have some pie. Are you free Sunday afternoon?"

"I am free"

"Can I give you my phone number?"

"Yes" Cas handed over his phone and Dean entered his number and sent himself a text.

"I really must go now; I'm invited for dinner at my brother's. He's the tall, lanky dude that was here with the child by the way. The young women is his wife Jessica and the older lady is my adoptive mother, Ellen", Dean explained, standing up and whistling for Stevie to return. When the dog approached, he connected the leash to her red collar.

"Ok, Dean, have fun today. I will see you Sunday"

Dean flashed him an enormous grin, then took a small bow that made Cas chuckle at how formal it made the handsome man look.

"See you soon, Cas, I can't wait"

"You will have to wait, it's only Thursday" Cas replied, and Dean started walking away, his laughter rolling across the lawn like Toad and Stevie were only moments before.

Chapter Text

Dean entered Jo's bakery ten minutes before the time he and Cas were supposed to meet, to find a familiar mop of disorderly hair already seated next to one of the small tables. Cas had his nose stuck in a book, and a cup of tea rested on the table. Dean approached slowly and gently touched the guy's shoulder, trying not to startle him.

Cas looked up and the most remarkable smile spread on his face, making him seem so beautiful that Dean felt his breath hitch and his cock chubbed up a bit. "Hello, Dean" he said.

Dean set down across from him, smiling back and trying to regain his composure. "Hey, Cas. I hope you didn’t have wait too long"

"I always try and get to places ahead of time to take some of the pressure off. It helps me feel more relaxed so that I could focus on the task at hand, for example, my attempt to get to know you better, Dean"

"That sounds incredibly sensible. I hope you feel relaxed enough now"

"I do, and I have tea as proof"

Dean chuckled. He took a moment to appreciate Cas's navy-blue button down, which complemented his eyes. Dean was wearing his usual dating attire – a simple black tee, a pair of his best fitting blue jeans and a faux leather jacket (a gift from Sammy of course). "This place is owned to my cousin, Joana, Ellen's daughter. She's a very talented baker, and they serve the best pies in the world, we should try some"

"You should order for us, Dean, I trust your expertise" Cas commented.

"You shouldn’t have said that Cas, I'm a pie monster and will stop at nothing till I've had my fill" Dean said and waved at a young blond women wearing an apron, who waived back and approached their table.

"Dean, who's your FRIEND?" she asked.

"Jo, this is Cas, my DATE" Dean corrected, specifically putting emphasis on the word.

A twitch flicked across the girl's face only for a second, and she raised her eyebrows at Dean, who raised his back at her. After that, she seemed to collect herself and proceeded taking their order of three slices of pie and one black coffee for Dean. Cas appeared to not pay attention to the exchange.

"So, Cas, how did you get to foster Toad and the other nuisance?" Dean thought talking about a shared interest would get the guy to open up more, and he was right. Cas's face lit up and he started describing how he ended up volunteering at the dog shelter after finding an abandoned dog, how he begin helping out with daily walks and feeding and had decided to take a test run to see if he could manage taking care of another being besides himself.

"I can understand wanting to care for Toad, but why did you pick Anubis? I've never met a dog as elitist as he" Dean said, half-jokingly.

Cas giggled and it was the cutest thing ever. "Anubis and Toad were sharing a cell at the dog shelter, and got along really well. Anubis may be a snob, but we manage just fine, he even lets me scratch his belly on rare occasions. I didn’t want to break them apart, the same way they did me and my siblings, so I figured why not give it a try, and so far, I've enjoy having them around"

Dean knew there was a lot more to Cas's story, but he didn’t wish to pry, and in any case, a plate with the most amazing smell was placed on the table, as Jo brought them their order.

Cas looked at the three delicious looking pieces of pie like a kid in a candy store, and it made Dean very pleased.

"You're going to have to explain to me what am I looking at" Cas asked.

"Ok" Dean began, cracking his knuckles, "let's take a trip down pie road. Behold the lovely scenery, our first stop is the all-time classic – apple and cinnamon" he took a small fork and cut a bite sized piece, then moved the fork to the front of Cas's mouth, waiting for him to take the bite.

Cas looked a little hesitant at first, but then those soft looking lips opened up and allowed the fork in. Cas chewed, moaning his appreciation while Dean straggled to keep his boner in check. Dean took a bite as well. It was scrumptious and rich like always.

Dean proceeded to feed Cas to some more bites of pecan and maple, and lemon vanilla pie, then, succumbing to his own gluttony, he served himself while Cas watched, smiling delightfully.

They talked about their jobs. Dean walking Cas through a typical day on his car renovation workshop, and Cas describing his daily routine as an independent graphic designer. Cas also told Dean about his studio, where he was drawing, and even confessed his peculiar interest in B movies. Cas explained that he loves those types of movies because they don’t follow standard narratives and usually portray nonconformist characters and fringe culture, with which he identified himself.

Dean found it fascinating, and in return told Cas a little bit about his childhood in Kansas, how when his mother died and his father ran away, Ellen and Bobby Singer took him and Sam in and cared for them. He even mentioned being a bit of a wild teenager, acting out and causing havoc. He had no idea how to face his issues back then and was soon dropping out of school and doing drugs, until Bobby set him to work in his garage and helped him clean up his act.

Not only was Cas not appalled by Dean's story, he actually sounded sympathetic and understanding, saying that those kinds of life changing events push people to their limits, particularly at a young age. He mentioned living with a foster family, which was one of the reasons he decided to try fostering dogs, but left it at that, probably not wanting to trigger himself with unpleasant memories.

They talked and nibbled, and soon the plate was empty. A very sated Dean leaned back in his seat and sighed contently. "I could live exclusively on pie, especially that lemon vanilla one, man…"

"I couldn’t agree more" Cas echoed, "They were extremely tasty and if I wasn’t somewhat worried about maintaining my figure, I'd have ordered three more"

"Nothing wrong with your figure from where I'm standing" Dean mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

Cas raised his eyebrows. "Are you complimenting me on my body?"

"I am. You have a nice body, Cas, though I've only seen it with your clothes on" Dean said, taking a sip of his lukewarm coffee.

"Would you like to see it with my clothes off?" Cas replied, and Dean nearly chocked on his coffee. He looked back at Cas to find him smiling wickedly. It was a good look on him, and Dean once again realized that there's maybe more to this guy than meets the eye.

"I would like to see it, yes, preferably now" Dean dared, and they shared a long stare.

"Where do you want us to go?" Cas asked, surprising Dean with his sudden practicality.

"I live about two blocks away, so, my place?"

"Ok, let's go" Cas pulled out his wallet and started counting dollar bills, but Dean lifted his hand up.

"Cas, I invited you so if it's ok with you, I'd like to pay. Besides I get a family discount"

"I agree, but only if I'm allowed to see your body with the clothes off as well" Cas said, standing up, and his eyes sparkled mischievously.

"That was always my intention, and…wait, are you making a joke?"

"I am making a joke, Dean"

"It's a funny joke, Cas"

"Funny enough for you to get up already?"

Dean burst out laughing. He bowed his head at Jo, who nodded back, and stood up. "All taken care off, come on". He took Cas's hand in his and waited a moment to see if the guy was ok with holding hands. Cas squeezed his fingers in a silent approval.

They left the bakery and Dean led them through the streets. It took about ten minutes to get to Dean's apartment, and they climbed the stairs to the second floor quietly. Dean felt waves of excitement washing over his body. This was happening, he was going to touch this magnificent man he already knew swept him off his feet.

They've reached the door and Dean unlocked it and turned on the lights. The space consisted of a dining area and a lounge with a big mustard colored sofa and a small coffee table that was basically a carved log. There was a well-equipped kitchen and a hallway that led to the main bedroom and bathroom. It wasn’t huge or fancy, but Dean spent a lot of time and material turning it into a home.

Dean explained that Stevie was at Sam's, then closed the door and was about to offer Cas something to drink when suddenly the man was on him, pushing him against the apartment door, chest pressed up against Dean's. He looked at Dean for consent, and he nodded, feeling speechless. A moment later Cas's soft lips were on him, and he was responding, kissing back while gently pushing his tongue into Cas's lemon-vanilla flavored opening.

Cas was a very meticulous kisser, taking his time nipping and licking into Dean's mouth, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. Dean put his hands on Cas's lower back and pulled him closer, feeling a hardness forming against his thigh. He reached down and squeezed Cas's firm ass and Cas moaned, hands lifting to rest on Dean's biceps, grabbing at them.
Suddenly Cas moved away. He looked at Dean with lust blown eyes and swollen lips.

"Dean, are you ok with me sucking your cock?" He asked hoarsely.

"Fuck, yes" Dean replied, totally turned on by Cas's husky voice.

Cas took his hand and led him to the sofa, chucking off his shoes in the process. They kissed again, this time fast and dirty, as Dean kicked his own shoes and started unbuttoning the other man's shirt. "You said I'd get to see you with your clothes off, Cas" he said, smiling viciously.

Cas let him finish opening all the buttons and tossed the shirt on the floor, revealing a toned chest. Dean moved his hands up and down Cas's trim torso, marveling at the smooth texture. He leaned down and licked a dusky nipple, and earned back a shiver.

Dean moved to the other nipple and nibbled on it, causing the other man to shudder even more. Still shifting from one hardening bud to the other, Dean slid his hands to Cas's groin and cupped his burgeoning erection. Cas sighed and bucked up into his palm.

Dean decided to speed things along and pulled the zipper on Cas's jeans, pushing down pants and underwear and freeing the man's sizeable cock, all swollen and purple at the tip. It looked good, and Dean gave it a gentle stroke, watching Cas's tremors with growing enjoyment. The guy was so responsive, and Dean couldn’t wait to find out what made him scream.

"I believe I was promised a "clothes off" experience, Dean" Cas murmured.

In return, Dean stripped off his jacket and shirt, tossing them aside and proceeded to remove his jeans and boxers. He was rather proud of his dick, knowing it was bigger than average and thick enough to be the source of pleasure for many of his former partners.

Cas was watching him undress, face intense. His inquisitive eyes skimmed over Dean's body like he was planning what to do with it, then a tiny smirk appeared on the edge of his mouth as he pointed at the sofa behind them. "Sit" he said in a commanding tone.

"Wait, I just wanted to say that I'm clean. Just got tested"

"I also got tested three months ago and I haven’t had sex with anyone since" Cas replied.

Nodding and remembering Cas's command, Dean sat down without arguing, completely aroused by this new domineering side Cas had unveiled. Cas, naked and gorgeous, knelt on the floor between Dean's legs, his spectacular blue eyes looking up at him as he bent forward and licked a stripe up Dean's shaft. Dean shuddered and let out a surprised little groan.

Cas licked him again, moving his tongue slowly up and down, then swirling it around the crown. He opened his lips and let the tip slip between them while still working his tongue around it. Dean whimpered and his head hit the back of the sofa.

"Fuuuuck… Cas, that's good"

Cas licked Dean's cock again thoroughly, coating it with spit before taking it deep into his mouth and sucking gently. He bobbed his head up and down, drawing harder and harder and his tongue hasn’t stopped moving for a second. Dean was a mess, groaning and writhing at the sensations, fingers carding through Cas's soft hair and tugging lightly.

Cas moved his head again, slacking his jaw and taking Dean even deeper into his throat. The muscles at the back convulsed and pressed around the tip and Dean cried out.
The dark haired man continued his ministrations relentlessly, licking and lapping and every now and then deep throating. Dean wasn’t sure what day it was anymore, what season or what country. There was only Cas's lips and tongue and throat.

"Oh, shit, Cas…oh, fuck that's so good…"

Dean felt his dick growing stiffer and a familiar tension started building in his pelvis.

"Shit, I'm…so close…you need to… oh! Slow down…fuck!" he groaned aloud as Cas sucked on the already sensitive head, driving Dean closer and closer to madness.

Suddenly Cas stopped, and before Dean knew what was happening, he moved up, straddling Dean's lap. He took hold at the base of Dean's cock and in one swift motion, sank down on it, guiding it into his tight hole.

"Oh, oh shit!" Dean cried out, utterly overwhelmed by the sudden heat and the feeling of Cas's insides hugging his throbbing dick.

Cas stilled, supporting himself with his palms on Dean's firm pecs. He leaned forward and kissed him softly, looking into the blond man's lust blown eyes.
"Does this feel good, Dean?" he asked so innocently that Dean struggled not to shoot his load right there and then.

"Fuck, Cas…I…of course it feels good, it feels amazing" Dean's hands came to rest on Cas's strong lower back, preventing him from moving. "Is this good for you?"

"Yes, you felt nice in my mouth, and you feel nice in my ass as well. I'd like to ride you now if that's ok"

"Jesus Christ…you're gonna make me come if you keep saying those things" Dean panted, doing his best to prevent himself from exploding. Bobby in a swimsuit. Sammy wearing a unicorn outfit. Jack's diaper. The last one thankfully helped.

Cas bent his head again like he had all the time in the world and pressed Dean's lips to his own, gently biting the lower one. Dean moaned and deepened the kiss, letting his tongue roam the insides of Cas's mouth. "You're so fucking sexy, Cas, god…so hot"

It was then that Cas started moving, slow at first, lifting up and falling back down on Dean's shaft, but gradually he peeked up the pace and was soon bouncing on Dean's cock, fast and furious.

"Oh God! Oh shit! Cas…" Dean screamed. His entire body was fire and Cas was fuel. The man rode him so hard Dean knew his muscles were going to pay for this later, but he couldn’t care less. He grabbed Cas's hips and fucked up into him, matching their movements.

In between grunts of pure pleasure, Dean managed to steal a glimpse of Cas's face. The man had his eyes closed and his mouth open, cheeks rosy red. His dick was bobbing up and down to the rhythm of his bounces, pearls of pre-cum dripping down its length. He looked so stunning, Dean almost forgot about the urgent situation in his groin, but then Cas sped up again and Dean found himself lost in bliss.

"Oh fuck! I'm gonna come…fuck…fuck… I'm gonna come so bad" Dean moaned, feeling his balls draw up and his muscles lock.

Cas never stopped moving. Instead, he took hold of his own dick and stroked it. He was silent except for a couple of groans and tiny whimpers he let out. He opened his eyes and looked deep into Dean's eyes. There was desire there and excitement, but also something deeper, a link between one soul to another, sharing a moment of ecstasy.

They kissed again, then Cas was moaning into his mouth while Dean felt hot release hitting his stomach. The man's inner muscles contracted around Dean's cock and he was gone, pumping cum deep inside Cas and crying out as an intense orgasm hit him like a ton of bricks.

Chapter Text

"Dean? Dean? Dean!"

Dean finally snapped back to hear Sam's voice calling out to him, and remembered he was at Jo's bakery. Sam was seated to his left and Jo and Ellen occupied the double seat adjacent.

"What?!?"

"Jesus, Dean, where were you? I've been calling your name for the past two minutes"

"Got lost in thought I guess" Dean mumbled, distractedly digging his spoon into the chocolate pudding in front of him.

"Anything or ANYONE in particular?" Sam questioned.

"Maybe he was thinking about that blue eyed guy he was with on Sunday?" Jo suggested, bitterness tarnishing her words despite her best efforts. Jo had a crush on Dean ever since they were children and had always wished the man would stop thinking of her as a sister and start regarding her as a potential mate. Dean had no such intentions, much to the girl's disappointment.

Dean looked up at her, face unreadable, "Jo, leave it. Leave ME alone" he rose from the table and excused himself to the bathroom.

Sam and the two women exchanged meaningful glances. "He barely even touched his pudding" Ellen commented, like that was plenty a sign something was wrong.

"It's Thursday, and he met with Cas on Sunday. My guess is that they haven’t spoken since, and my brother is worried that he fucked up somehow. I know how his mind works; he's rethinking every minute detail trying to guess what he did wrong"

"Can we do anything to help?" Ellen asked, "I hate to see him so troubled. He must really like this guy"

"They seemed to get along pretty well. Dean was feeding him pie and making puppy eyes nonstop" Jo barked, unable to hide her disapproval.

"There's something about this guy. He gets Dean out of his elements, and I'm not sure that's a bad thing" Sam said, "I just hope it all works out for them"

"Your brother is kind-hearted, affectionate and smart, and if this guy is good enough for him, he will see all those things, and if not, I guess it will be best for Dean to move on" Ellen said just as Dean returned to the table. He did not sit back down, instead, he kissed Ellen on the cheek and ruffled Sam's hair.

"I'm going to take Stevie out for a walk, see you guys later" he said, then put on his jacket and was out the door. He walked the short distance to his apartment, eyeing the Impala, his precious vintage black car that was parked in front of his building, and climbed up the stairs to get his dog.

Memories of his night with Cas flooded his brain as he marched towards his apartment. He was in awe by how well they fit together, how amazing and passionate Cas was, and so goddam sexy when he was riding Dean's dick, making him come so hard his vision blurred.

After they calmed down from their high, Cas lay in his arms, nose tucked in the crook of Dean's neck, and they just enjoyed each other's warmth. The blue-eyed man wasn’t much of a talker, but when he did speak his mind, it was always to a point.

When Cas finally turned to look at Dean, it was to tell him that he enjoyed their time together, but that he needed to go and give Anubis and Toad their dinner. He got up, went to the bathroom and cleaned himself, bringing back a washcloth for Dean as well, which Dean thought was a considerate thing to do.

Cas got dressed quickly and then simply wished the blond man who was still sprawled on the sofa (body tired from all the wild sex they had) good night. Then he was gone, closing the door shut behind him gently.

Dean haven’t heard from his since. He was waiting for Cas to make the first move, because he didn’t want to make him feel obligated to respond, but there was nothing. Not even a text, and Dean was letting his insecurities get to him. Maybe Cas wasn’t interested in Dean after all and didn’t know how to tell him that.

Maybe Dean wasn’t a good enough lover, given the way Cas had dominated what they did. Dean was completely fine with the other man taking control in bed, he found it extremely sexy how confident and powerful the guy allowed himself to be. It was a lot different from his usually timid and collected demeanor.

Dean and Stevie crossed the street and headed for the park. It was late afternoon, and he knew there was a slight chance that Cas was going to be there. It made him nervous and excited at the same time, and his stomach was flipping.

Crossing the huge lawn and the patch of cedar trees, Dean scanned the area, looking for that recognizable mop of dark hair he now knew was soft and smelled like almonds and honey. He walked to where the guy usually had his checkered blanket spread, in a somewhat secluded area, but no one was there. Stevie sniffed frantically and ran in a small circle, like she was looking for something. She looked at him with eyes full of anticipation, and he bent down and stroked her golden fur.

"You miss them, don’t you, girl? Me too" he sighed.

Dean strolled back and forth for another twenty minutes, eyes kept glancing over to Cas's spot, but it remained empty. Disappointed and even a little heart broken, Stevie and he made their way back home.

Chapter Text

Cas was sad. He recognized the feeling right away. It was so familiar, waking up to that cold aching spot inside his chest and that itch in his nose. He crawled out from underneath the duvet, dragging himself to the tiny bathroom that was connected to his bedroom. He relived himself and sprayed water on his face, looking at his reflection in the mirror, eyes puffy and red, hair in a state of perpetual chaos. Sad.

He clambered down the wooden staircase to his kitchen. Toad looked up from his fluffy bed next to the couch and yawned. Much like Cas, Toad wasn’t a morning person.

He brewed some coffee and despite choosing to use his favorite mug, a white ceramic one that read "I don’t adult until I coffee", he was still sad.

He made a sad omelet and smeared some butter on a sad toast. He chewed sadly and barely swallowed it down. Being oversensitive meant that sometimes when Cas was feeling something, especially what was considered "negative" emotions, he was really FEELING it. It would become all he could think about, and he would often become consumed by the magnitude of that sentiment. It was like putting on a pair of grey filtered glasses and not being able to take them off. It was usually an overpowering experience, and an exhausting one as well.

There were some good implications to being hyper-responsive, for example, when Cas was happy, he felt like he was flying, and when he was really enjoying himself, like having really great sex with someone, he was immersed in all the sensations and the pleasure he felt was all consuming.

When he and Dean were together intimately, he couldn’t believe how wonderful everything felt. When he saw Dean's perfect body it made his insides flip with anticipation. The blond man's strong hands as they roamed Cas's body, felt like they were made out of molten lava, their touch electric. His lips were soft and the kisses were downright addictive, Cas just wanted to attach itself to Dean's mouth and never break free. Then there was Dean's glorious cock that felt like it belonged inside Cas, pounding and rubbing all the right spots, creating wave after wave of pure joy.

Dean. The name echoed in his mind and he was sad. Dean and his lovely dog. Dean and the way he made Cas feel accepted, seen, cherished. Dean when he moaned Cas's name, when he let his desire be known and gave Cas permission to ravage him. Will Cas ever be able to touch that body again? Why hasn’t Dean called?

Cas had left Dean's apartment on Sunday evening and assumed Dean would call or text him if he wanted to meet again. Cas wasn’t good at this whole dating thing. He didn’t know what was expected of him to say or do, but he figured Dean DID. He looked like someone who had it all figured out, who had women, and man, constantly falling at his feet. Who was versed in what to do next once you've shared an intimate moment with a partner and wanted more.

But why would Dean even want anything more than a quick roll in the hay? Cas wasn’t relationship material. He struggled even with building a healthy relationship with himself, pushing back years of self-loathing and repressed anger.

He was in a good place at last, being diagnosed, managing on his own financially and allowing people like his therapist to help with building his self-esteem back. He even invested time and efforts volunteering at the dog shelter and had Toad and Anubis to keep him company.

Cas was doing great, right? So he should just appreciate the experience Dean had given him and move on with his life.

Then why was he sad?

Maybe it was because Anubis was gone. He had finally found a home fit for the king he was. His new owner, a rich Scottish women named Rowena, picked him up in her limousine only two nights ago. The minute she stepped foot in Cas's place, matching red hair, red dress, red purse and red shoes, she took one look at the Pinscher and her face lit up.

It was love at first bite, like Cas jokingly liked to call it. Anubis, who was laying lazily on the couch, looked up and gazed at her and his small tail started flapping rapidly. Rowena approached the pooch and spent the next ten minutes snuggled up with him, scratching his belly. When Toad attempted to get some attention out of the elegant redhead, she wrinkled her nose and made an appalled sound that had Toad crawling back to Cas in seconds.

Cas was amazed at how calm and receptive Anubis was, and it was a sign that this was the best outcome for securing the snooty dog's future. He was happy to witness a happy ending since it wasn’t common for dogs as old and surly as Anubis to find a permanent home.

Toad appeared to be suffering from his sudden loneliness as well. The pooch searched for his friend and whined when Cas told him gently that Anubis wasn’t going to come back and Dean was gone, too, so it was just the two of them now. Toad placed his massive head on Cas's knee, looking for consolation, and Cas placed a kiss on each ear, whispering to him that he was good and worthy, perhaps trying to reassure himself in the process.

The next day, Cas returned to the park and did his sniffing routine. He had trouble focusing, as he continuously kept sending glimpses around the area, trying to spot Dean or his blond dog. Eventually, sad and defeated, he waited for Toad to retrieve his ball, folded his blanket, and headed home.

Chapter Text

Dean was out of the apartment and about to go babysit Jack so that Sam and Jess could have a couple's night out. Stevie was hopping at his side, happy to be out and about. The weather was a little chilly when he approached the Impala and tossed his duffle bag into the backseat then let Stevie climb in.

He was about to enter the car into drive when Stevie started whining, tapping her nose on the window, trying to sniff something. Dean looked out, puzzled by the dog's behavior, when he noticed a black lump in front of a nearby dumpster. The lump appeared to be bunched up into a ball, but then Dean spotted movement.

"Wait here" he told the agitated Stevie and stepped out of the car. It became clear as he approached the dumpster that what he recognized initially as a black blur, was in fact a tiny puppy. Dean knelt next to it. The pup was small, fur sticking up every which way, and damp, like someone dropped a bucket of water on him, and he was shaking.

Dean picked him up and a pair of brown fearful eyes stared back at him. The pup was no older than two months, and scared. Dean's heart melted. He took off his jacket and wrapped the pup with it, rubbing gently to help him get warm. He looked around the dumpster but spotted no more pups. He returned to his car and allowed Stevie to sniff the tiny bundle in his arms. She immediately started wagging her tail excitedly and Dean rewarded her with a treat from his pocket.

He texted Sam saying he was going to have to cancel, attaching a selfie of the pup cuddled up against his chest. Sam instantly replied that he would ask Ellen to come over, and to let him know how the pup is doing.

Dean returned to his apartment and left Stevie with a toy full of snacks to keep her busy. He offered the puppy some water and the dog lapped some up before falling asleep. Dean searched for the nearest dog shelter that also had an open veterinary clinic, then mounted the Impala again, setting the sleepy pup on the passenger seat. Within twenty minutes he reached a place not far from the city center called "Doggy Smile" (a name Dean found to be hilarious).

The receptionist, a red headed cheerful girl named Charlie, listened to his story, raised a brow when he told her his name and address, and gave the pup a quick once over. There were no visible wounds or afflictions, but she did mention the dog looked a little dull, and probably had a fever. She scanned him for a chip but found none, then she asked Dean to wait in the waiting room while the vet took a better look.

Dean was restless, and after ten minutes of sitting and scrolling through his phone, he was looking for a way out. Charlie appeared sympathetic, explaining that she also suffered from "Thornes up my butt", and offered him to take a look at the shelter part, where they kept the dogs who were waiting for adoption.

Walking through the back door and into the courtyard was like stepping into a canine universe. Strong odors and sounds of barking attacked his senses from all around, reminding him of Cas's sniffing exercise.

There was an office to his right and in front of him, a big arena with different facilities. All around it, were rooms full of dogs in all shapes and sizes. From what Dean could tell, there were approximately two dogs on each room, and each had a bed and a big water bowl. He walked around, feeling his eyes filling up with tears and his heart overflowing.

Not knowing who was ok to pat and who wasn’t, Dean avoided touching any of the dogs, which proved to be a difficult task. They seemed so eager to please, some were running towards him, barking happily and wagging their tails. The dogs seemed in good health and well fed but living in a tiny cubical and accepting random acts of affection wasn’t Dean's idea of a well lived life. In fact, he adopted Stevie when she was only one year old from a similar place.

Feeling like he was about to either burst into tears or adopt each and every dog in the facility, Dean backed up into the arena and set down on a bench next to the door to the office. He was just wondering how many dogs could fit inside the Impala and into his apartment, when a familiar husky voice said: "Dean?"

Chapter Text

Cas needed a distraction. He'd been sitting at home moping for too long. He allowed himself time to mourn what could have been an incredible connection with Dean, but knowing how caught up he can get in his own head, Cas chose a change of scenery instead.

He took Toad to the park and they ran to let out some steam, then he went grocery shopping since there was nothing left to eat at his place. He had spent the entire week nibbling on canned beans on toast, and his body was telling him to get some vegetables in. He ended up buying some frozen vanilla lemon pie and some ice-cream, a little out of spite.

Cas marched over to the dog shelter with a mission in mind. He was going to get over Dean and keep himself busy. He will clog the black hole in the middle of his chest with some flappy ears and tails. He will not allow sadness to ruin what mental and emotional stability he had accomplished. Good for you, Cas, he mentally tooted his own horn. Fake it till you make it, his therapist once told him, so Cas was going to fake it all right.

He stepped into the reception room and was welcomed by Charlie's wide grin. The girl had been his friend for many years, and was one of the only people he got along with, who didn’t find his awkwardness unappealing. In fact, she constantly mentioned how much she loved and related to all his little quirks.

"Sweetie pie!" she called out, stepping from behind the counter, "It's been a while". She opened her arms widely but stood in place, considerately waiting for Cas's approval, to which he was always grateful, "Can I?"

"Yes Charlie, I'm delighted to see you" Cas replied, accepting a warm, short, hug.

Charlie observed him for a moment then made a displeased face. "Cas, what's wrong? You know I can always tell when you're being sulky"

Cas took a deep breath. He had wondered if Charlie might notice he was a little off, and was actually hopping to get her advice on what he was feeling.

"I will try and make this short, but you know I'm not good with editing" Cas began, and Charlie nodded, remembering that one time she asked him about his trip to Niagara Falls and received an overly detailed reenactment of his entire trip from the moment he woke up in the morning to the time he went back to bed, bathroom breaks included.

"I'm all ears"

"I met this very handsome guy and his Golden Retriever while I was with Toad and Anubis at the park. We had three fairly pleasant encounters and the dogs got along really well. On the last encounter he asked me out on a date. We had pie and after that we had sex. The sex was amazing, the best I've ever had and he seemed very interested in me, but he never called or texted me after. I feel sad and I don’t understand what I did wrong."

Cas finished talking and set down in one of the plastic chairs, feeling the familiar tinge of melancholy creeping in again.

Charlie looked at him sympathetically. "Cas, I'm sure you did nothing wrong, there's not a single evil intention in that sensual body of yours. Maybe he was just looking for something casual, or maybe he panicked. Have you tried reaching out to him?"

"I haven’t. He looked well versed in the whole dating world, so I figured he would simply call me if he was interested in us meeting again, but he never did"

"Have you considered the fact that maybe he was waiting for YOU to contact HIM? Did you explain to him to that you sometimes find it difficult understanding people's intentions?"

"I did. I also told him that he shouldn’t date me and that I was socially impaired, but he said it was refreshing and that it didn’t matter"

Charlie made that displeased face again. "Cas, you can't tell people how and what to think of you. You've got to let them make up their own minds. Maybe this guy…"

"Dean"

"… maybe Dean was interested in you but didn’t know if you fancied him back. Maybe he's just as insecure about himself as you are"

"But he's gorgeous, and full of confidence, and he has a nice family…"

"So? I'm gorgeous, AND full of confidence, AND I have a nice family, but I'm still second guessing myself every time I shop for clothes or see a pretty girl I like or talk to my mother on the phone… looks has nothing to do with how people feel on the inside. You can have big dick energy in public and cry yourself to sleep every night. I expected YOU of all people to know that often times what's visible on the outside does not match what's on the inside"

"Ha…" Cas said. Realizing that he may have misread the entire situation.

"But how can one tell, when people aren’t being honest with one another? Am I supposed to always guess what others are thinking? It's disturbing, Charlie"

"Yes! It is! But that's what communicating means, Cas, a constant, terrifying attempt to reach out to one another, in hopes that they feel the same and understand things the same way as you. If you are not certain, you must ask, Cas. You can't let a good thing go to waste because you just ASSUME you're being rejected. You must allow yourself to be vulnerable if you ever hope to achieve meaningful connections. Damn I should give a TED talk" Charlie declared.

Cas looked and felt very much ashamed of himself. He had fallen victim to the same thing he hated being done to him, making assumptions without checking the facts. He needed to talk to Dean and apologize and maybe he would be forgiven and they could start over again.

"Thank you, Charlie, for your friendship and your wisdom"

"Don’t mention it, sweetie pie. You know I love you like the brother I never had. Now if you don’t mind, we've got stuff to do. Azazel and Alistair need their stall cleaned and there's a surgery scheduled for 3 pm, aaaand we need to order some gluten free dog food for Ruby, she's been having digestive issues… let's go, lover boy" she said, pushing him gently through the doors connecting the clinic area with the shelter.

Cas followed her, feeling anxious yet somehow a little hopeful for things to work out in the end. He just needed to remember to never take things for granted. To always ask before assuming something was the truth. To remember that people are different from what they make themselves seem to be. He took mental notes of all that for future reference.

He quickly put on his work attire, worked for two hours, and ended up taking care of a sweet white dog named Mick that needed a bandage change after going through surgery. He walked the dog into the office to add details on his medical chart, but when he exited into the arena, he saw someone sitting on the bench near the entrance, and was suddenly faced with a familiar head full of sandy-blond hair, and the gentle scent of pines.

Chapter Text

Dean turned his head to find Cas standing near the entrance to the office, wearing a smudgy yellow work jumpsuit that did wonders to his physic. In his hand, he held a leash that was attached to a skinny looking white dog with a huge bandage around its belly.

Dean rose to his fit and stepped forward, feeling his body being pulled towards the man. "Hey, Cas"

"Hello, Dean, are you here to see me?"

"Well, no, but…"

"Oh…" Cas said in what sounded almost...disappointed?

Dean took another step forwards, just when Charlie came in from the reception. Cas handed her the leash and she escorted the poor looking pooch back into the clinic. "I'll be there in a minute" Cas told her and she nodded, adding "Take your time, sweetie pie"

Dean shifted his weight from one foot to the other while Cas stood there observing him, patient as ever. Dean took a deep breath to calm himself down, and could detect the delicate scent of almonds and honey emanating from the man, on top of wet dog fur and something clinical smelling, like iodine.

"Are you scenting me?" Cas asked, raising his eyebrow.

Dean rubbed the back of his neck "Yeah, kind of…I was doing that thing you taught me to help relax"

"Am I making you nervous, Dean?"

Dean gazed into those bluest of blue eyes, feeling his body flush. "Yes, Cas, can't you tell?"

"Is this why you never contacted me after we went on a date and had sex?" Cas questioned, as blunt as ever.

Dean scoffed, "I never contacted YOU? You never contacted ME, Cas"

Cas opened him mouth to say something, but then stopped. He opened his mouth once more and stopped again, frowning.

"Dean, were you satisfied with the time we'd spent together? I'm referring to our time at the bakery AND our time in your apartment"

"Yes, Cas" Dean said, chuckling at how adorably meticulous the guy was, "Yes to both"

"I did, too, and I didn’t understand why you haven’t called or texted me. I would gladly eat pie and have intercourse with you again"

Dean wanted to hug him. Instead, he came closer and placed a hand on Cas's shoulder. "I wasn’t sure you felt the same way, Cas, I mean you left in a hurry right after we were… ahm…done"

"I needed to feed Toad and Anubis. They always eat at 8 pm"

"I see…so that had nothing to do with you not wanting to stay with me?"

"No. I would have loved to stay with you, but like I said, it was getting late and I needed to get home in time to feed the dogs"

"I think this is all a huge misunderstanding, Cas. I had a great time with you, in fact, it was more than great… it was fucking awesome. I didn’t call you because I thought it wasn’t as good for you as it was for me"

"But you asked me, Dean, and I said it was, I always say what I mean"

"Cas, you have to understand that people aren’t usually this open and honest. I'm not really used to that"

"CAN you get used to that? Because I don’t think I'll be able to change"

Dean laughed out loud. He had never had a conversation about…well, the act of conversing. Talking to Cas was nothing like he was used to, but it wasn’t bad, just different, challenging. Cas made him think about things he used to take for granted and it was making Dean curious what more he could learn about Cas, and about himself in the process.

"Cas…" he said, placing a hand on the guy's shoulder and squeezing lightly, "don’t ever change"

Cas smiled, and it was as dazzling and enchanting as Dean remembered. It was like the sun was shining directly through his eyes and Dean's heart was racing. He wanted to bath in Cas's light and let it creep through the darkest corners of his soul to make them warm again.

"Can I kiss you now, Dean? I've been wanting to kiss you ever since we said goodbye on Sunday"

"Please…" Dean said, closing the distance between them and wrapping his arms around Cas's waist. The guy's piercing eyes were full of emotion when he bent forward and pressed his lips against Dean's.

They stood there in the middle of the arena, lips reconnecting again and again, tongues exploring, fingers entwined together. All around them the echoes of dogs howling and barking made for a strangely suitable soundtrack.

When they finally broke apart, Cas remained tight against Dean's chest, and Dean wrapped an arm around his neck, wanting to keep him close. They stared into each other's eyes.

"There's blood on my shoe" Cas said and Dean chuckled. He could get used to never being bored and constantly expecting the unexpected with Cas.

Then he added, "Wait a minute. You said you didn’t come here to see me, so why are you here, Dean?"

"I found a puppy behind the dumpster, brought him here since I didn’t really know what to do with it. He's with the vet, getting a checkup"

"Oh, that's wonderful. He was lucky you were the one who found him"

"I sure hope so" Dean said, leading them to sit on the bench, hands still clutched together. "How are Toad and Anubis, god of snobs?"

"Anubis has found a new home and is currently living like the prince he is, from what I've heard from his new owner. Toad is the same ball of excitement he always was. What about Stevie?"

"She missed him, like I missed you. We went to the park looking for you"

"You did? That was a stupid thing to do, Dean, you should have just called" Cas blurted, sounding slightly annoyed still.

"Cas! We agreed this was all a misunderstanding and that we were both a couple of idiots"

"I don’t recall us agreeing on that" Cas wrinkled his nose, looking cute, and Dean simply kissed him silent.

"You can't just kiss all our disagreements away Dean, that's highly inefficient"

"Looks pretty damn efficient to me" Dean said, nibbling on Cas's ear and eliciting a tender moan. Dean continued kissing and nipping along Cas's jaw and neckline, getting hungrier for the man's touch by the minute. It was too damn long since they were naked together.

Cas muttered something under his breath but his hands moved under Dean's shirt, rubbing gently at his sides. Dean reached his hand down, cupping the undeniable bulge inside Cas's pants. He shivered with the memory of the man riding him, all sweaty and beautiful. Cas moaned louder and bucked gently into Dean's palm, but then stopped and pulled away.

"My… manly parts are getting aroused and I don’t think this is the time or place, so how about you stop teasing me, and I'll introduce you to some of the other dogs?"

"It's probably a good idea, Cas, because I think if we continue doing this I'm going to fuck you right here in the middle of the arena"

Cas smiled. "Ok. Follow me, I want you to meet Crowley, he's the French bulldog I was telling you about, the one who bit me when I tried feeding him, and there's also Balthazar, the Norwich terrier that belonged to the old lady who died and left all her money in his name…"

Cas walked Dean through the stalls, introducing him to each and every one of the dogs, like they were getting ready for a business meeting. He had something to say about every dog's character, favorite food, preferred places for scratching, it was endearing and Dean found himself making puppy eyes at the guy, wishing for the tour to end so that he could take Cas home and kiss him stupid.

Once they were done and Dean's brain was full of pooch related knowledge, Cas took him back inside the clinic to check on his tiny rescue. Turns out the pup was healthy and only suffered from a mild cold. Charlie promised to take good care of him and let Dean know if and when he gets adopted.

She explained how adoptions were taking place and how important it was to make sure that the people adopting were stable and thoughtful with their intentions. There were too many instances when dogs were being brought back by folks adopting on a whim, and not thinking through what it meant to have a living creature under you care.

"I wish everyone was as considerate and sensitive like my sweetie pie here is" she sighed, looking at Cas, who blushed profusely at the praise.

"He is indeed special" Dean agreed, delighted to see Cas's face turn even redder.

"Toad is one lucky son of a dog" Charlie added.

Dean looked over at Cas with a smile. "So, its official? Toad is yours?"

"Yes. I think it was love at first sight for us" Cas said, beaming back. "I can't seem to imagine my life without him"

"I can relate to that. Before Stevie, I felt like something was missing in my life, like it lacked a crucial component, and now I know what it was" he turned to face Cas, and added quietly "I kind of feel the same way about you, Cas"

Charlie made a sound that could probably only be heard by the dogs right outside. "Oh my god, that is the sweetest thing I've ever heard"

Cas looked flustered but his hand crept up and grabbed Dean's, squeezing it tenderly. "We should go and have sex now, Dean" Cas said, causing Dean to choke a little.

"Oh my god, that is the grossest thing I've ever heard" Charlie shrieked again, "Get the hell out of here before I bring out the hose"

Cas laughed and pulled Dean out of the clinic. They leaned against Dean's car, which Cas commented "looks cool despite being old".

"I really need to get this jumper off, it's dirty and I stink"

"Was hoping to be able to undress you myself, Cas"

"I'll go return my jumpsuit and be with you in a minute" Cas insisted, always a sucker for the rules.

"I'll be waiting… sweetie pie" Dean said playfully, eyeing Cas's perky butt as he sundered back into the building only to emerge wearing a pair of sweatpants and a black t-shirt with the shelter's logo printed on it.

They entered Dean's car and ended up smooching again, with Cas sprawled on Dean's lap like a cat. "I can't seem to get enough of you" Dean breathed in between heated kisses.

"We should get to someplace more comfortable, I've got a gear stick poking at my hip"

"It could be that I'm simply happy to see you" Dean joked, but Cas's puzzled expression made it clear that he didn’t get the jest.

"I'm happy to see you too, Dean, and I hope to continue seeing you fairly regularly in the near future, with, or preferably without, clothes"

"Are you asking me to be your naked boyfriend, Cas?"

"I suppose so, but as always it takes me way too many words to say it"

"I'd love to see you, and kiss you, and make love to you, and listen to you say way too many words on a regular basis, Cas, so yes, let's be boyfriends" Dean said, pulling the blue eyed man flush against his chest and kissing his forehead.

"But I'm still not going to sniff your butt" Cas added, smiling happily at his own joke and making a nest for himself inside Dean's strong arms.

Chapter Text

Toad and Stevie were asleep, cuddled together in a ball of fur on Toad's fluffy bed.

Dean and Cas were asleep, cuddled together in a twister of limbs on Cas's futon. Dean woke up suddenly, slowly making sense of the world around him. He was resting with his head on Cas's chest, hand wrapped tightly around his boyfriend's waist, legs tangled together like they were holding on to dear life, which wasn’t so far from the truth.

Being with Cas has made Dean's life meaningful. Cas was passionate and hilarious, weird and intelligent, and Dean was head over heels in love with him within a short period of time. Cas made him think about things before saying them, made him focus on what his true intentions were, taught him to wait before speaking in order to express feelings more accurately. It has made Dean more in tuned with himself, more grounded and connected with his inner truth.

Cas's first official meeting with Sam and Jess was ultimately a success. At first, Cas was reserved and shy, avoiding speaking to them or making eye contact. Dean knew he was extremely nervous because Cas had told him, and Dean promised not to pressure him and to allow time for him to adjust to the new environment.

He told Sam and Jess in advance to let Cas do his thing and wait until he's comfortable enough to answer questions. His brother and sister-in-law were the epiphany of patience, chatting mostly to Dean except for the necessary pleasantries, while Cas set down on the sofa and scanned his surroundings quietly like a scared mouse.

To everyone's amazement, little Jack wobbled directly into Cas's arms and the guy picked him up and started making soft noises at him. A minute later they were both playing on the living room carpet, with Cas making funny animal sounds and Jack laughing and shrieking his delight. Jess looked over at Dean and smiled so widely that Dean didn’t even need to ask, he knew Cas was officially "Kid tested, mother approved".

The rest of their visit was a lot more relaxed. Cas had opened up with the help of Jack functioning as a sort of "sidekick". Dean was not surprised to learn that Cas was a natural around children. He had told Dean that he basically raised three of his younger siblings until social services broke them apart. It was something Cas didn’t speak about often and Dean could tell there was a lot of pain and sorrow involved in bringing up those topics. He didn’t push Cas to specify what happened, knowing that when the man was ready, he would share.

Sam and Cas bonded straight away when the subject of global warming was discussed. With Cas being a former activist for the preservation of bees and Sam working as a legal consultant for Greenpeace, they talked for almost an hour, waving their hands and getting excited about their shared cause, forgetting everyone around them even existed.

Jess glanced over at Dean, who was sitting next to her, and shrugged. "At least now it's not only me listening to him yap about those things, he's finally found his match"

"I should have guessed those two nerds would hit it off" Dean replied quietly, smirking.

"You seem happy, Dean. It's a good look on you"

"Thank you, Jess, it all feels surreal, you know? I never thought I'd find something…someone so… real yet so remarkable. Cas is like no one else I've ever been with"

"Isn't that a good thing? Aren’t you tired of having more of the same?"

"It is, and I am. I feel ready for the real deal, Jess, no matter how challenging it's going to be"

He finished talking and looked across the table to where Sam was walking Cas through Greenpeace' new campaign. A pair of blue wonders stared back at him and Cas smiled, face full of affection. Dean wanted to jump on the man, pick him up, take him home and make love to him. He tried to convey all that with a wink and a smile, but ended up looking like he was having a minor stroke. Cas squinted his eyes at him and laughed inaudibly at his boyfriend's strangeness.

Dean stuck his tongue out and his foot nudged Cas's underneath the table, giving it a gentle kick.

"Ow!" Sam cried out and glared at his brother, "What was that for?"

"Stop hogging my boyfriend" Dean quickly adjusted.

"Jealous much?" Sam teased.

"I don’t need to be jealous since I'm the one taking his fine ass home later for a nice spanking"

Sam made a horrified face, while Cas lifted his eyebrows and looked somewhat… intrigued? Jess snickered and punched Dean in the shoulder.

They finished eating and moved to the living room, with Jack insisting on siting in Cas's lap. They drank coffee and had some of Jess's famous maple carrot cake. Cas enjoyed the cake so much, he asked for a second and then a third slice, and Dean was glad to see he was no longer the only family member that had a sweet tooth.

Throughout the evening, Dean drank a few beers, and was feeling elevated and a little tipsy by the time they said their goodbyes and sauntered out into the cool night air. Dean was leaning against Cas, his arm supported on his boyfriend's shoulder, and the minute Sam closed the door behind them, he pushed him against the Impala and planted their lips together. Cas didn’t resist, but when Dean started thrusting his hips and rutting their groins together, he pulled away, panting.

"Dean, we shouldn’t be dry humping in front of your brother's house. Let's go home"

"But I want you so bad, Cas… you're soooo sexy…" Dean whined, nuzzling Cas under his ear and snaking a hand under Cas's shirt to caress his chest and belly.

"I want you, too, Dean, but I'd rather take you to bed and undress you properly before we cause a situation" Cas breathed, trying to keep his mind clear while Dean sucked a bruise at the side of his neck.

Dean pulled back reluctantly, allowing Cas to open the car door for him to enter. He was surprised that Dean let him drive his car without hesitation, but his boyfriend said he trusted him. He started the engine and drove the short distance to his apartment, where Toad and Stevie waited impatiently for their return.

After hugging and petting the overly excited dogs and feeding them, Cas and Dean stumbled to the bedroom and started stripping. Cas pulled his pants down, placing them on the night stand, and turned around to find Dean sprawled on the bed naked, legs spread apart while his erect cock stood at attention between them. He looked stunning, alluring, and Cas couldn’t believe his good fortune.

"Come here sweetie pie, I've got a present for you" Dean murmured, beckoning Cas to come closer. Cas laughed and removed his underwear, then knelt between Dean's thighs. Dean reached over and pulled him down, causing Cas to land in his lap with an "Oofff" sound.

Dean flipped them so that he was now straddling Cas, and leaned over, crashing their lips together, pecking and biting greedily at the soft pink flesh. He was already hard as a rock and hungry for his beautiful boyfriend's touch. This time, he was going to make Cas scream.

Cas sighed as Dean aligned their cocks together and took them in his palm. His other hand reached for the shelf above Cas's futon and grabbed the lube, squeezing a healthy dose on both of them. He started jerking them hard and fast, watching Cas's face and neck turning red with arousal.

"That's it, show me how much you love this, Cas…" Dean whispered into the man's ear as he writhed underneath him. "Fuck… you feel so good, your hard cock rubbing against mine… feels like heaven" Dean murmured, trying to get a reaction out of his usually reserved lover.

"Ahh… Dean… Dean" Cas finally let out, and Dean smiled, feeling triumphant. He rubbed their slippery members a little quicker, smooth skin deliciously sliding against smooth skin, but soon had to stop. He was getting too close.

Cas leaned down and kissed Dean's collar bone, sucking gently and licking a stripe all the way up his stubble jaw. He placed a kiss on his chin, cheek, forehead, and his eyes caught Dean's. They were lust blown, the blue color barely visible.

"Dean… I care about you so much" Cas whispered. It wasn’t the sexiest thing to say, but he knew Cas meant every word and it filled his heart with joy.

Dean pressed their lips together again, acknowledging the words, and pushed Cas to lean back against the pillows. He coated his fingers with lube and started gradually opening and stretching Cas's rim, making sure to press kisses and gentle licks to the man's mouth as he worked.

"I'm gonna make you feel good, sweetheart, want to hear you scream my name" Dean grumbled, pushing a third finger inside Cas's heat and watching the man arch his back and sigh in pleasure. Dean continued to fuck his fingers in and out while Cas wriggled and groaned softly. This was not exactly what Dean wanted, so he removed his fingers and positioned his dick at the opening of Cas's hole. With one firm movement he buried himself to the hilt and both of them moaned.

"Fuck, Cas, you feel so perfect… it's like you were made for me, sweetheart" Dean started moving, slowly pulling out, rubbing against Cas's inner walls, then pushing back with force. He repeated this a couple of times until finally Cas cried out and drops of pre-cum oozed out of his red, swollen, shaft.

"Ahh! Dean! Dean! Oh, yes" Cas called, eyes closed, head thrown back against the pillows.

Encouraged by his mate's vocal reaction, Dean started moving faster, thrusting harder and changing the angle of penetration to hit Cas's prostate. The feeling of Cas tight around him as he was sliding in and out was intoxicating.

"Ahh! Ahh! Dean!" Cas yelled, voice hoarse and dripping with lust, and Dean tried his best not to shoot his load. This was what he wanted, to make Cas lose his composure. He set a brutal pace, fucking Cas hard and without pause. Cas's dick rubbed against his belly as they moved, and soon the blue eyed man was a mess, moaning and whining, bucking his hips up to meet Dean's efforts.

"Dean… I'm close, I'm… oh, that's good, Dean" Cas cried out, and Dean couldn’t help but groan back in response. Hearing and seeing Cas in the throes of passion was the hottest thing he'd ever witnessed.

Suddenly Cas arched his back, let out a long whimper, and was coming all over Dean's chest and abdomen, spilling rope after rope of cum. The muscles around Dean's throbbing dick compressed and twitched, causing the blond man to still his movement.

Dean felt his climax crashing down on him like a tsunami. He moaned Cas's name loudly as his cock pulsed again and again inside Cas's warmth.

"Cas… fuck…" He called out, thrusting a couple more time before he was completely spent. He collapsed on Cas's sweaty body, blissed out.

Chapter Text

Things with Dean were good. Even more than good. It was wonderful.
Cas was falling in love, he could tell by the pitter patter of his heart racing whenever Dean was around. He could tell by the silly smile that was glued to his face whenever he woke up to find the blond man gently snoring in his bed. He could tell by the tears of joy that were flooding his eyes whenever he watched Dean play with Toad and Stevie in the park, throwing two balls (to prevent fights) and running after them laughing and smiling.

Dean had learned to recognize Cas's pressure points, for example, not to disturb his sacred morning routine before he had his coffee, not to tickle him because it caused him literal pain, not to ask about his family without Cas volunteering information, and not to push him into going places when he was in one of his moods.

In return, Cas has learned that nothing can come between Dean and his family. Sam, Jess and Jack were important and they met with them at least once or twice a week, and Cas actually enjoyed spending time with them. His bond with Jack always amazed everyone around them, and he could tell that Jack was smart and intuitive. Cas was the one to teach Jack how to imitate animal sounds and attach the sound to the plastic animal in his hand.

He also learned that despite his boyfriend being one of the hottest people to probably ever walk the face of the earth, he was very insecure about his appearance and his behavior, so Cas tried complimenting him as much as possible, even though it was something that felt strange for him to do.

His attempts at flattery ended up being somewhat of an inside joke, with Cas improperly complimenting Dean on the way he tied his shoes, on his burps being impressively loud, on the way he soaped his body in the correct order from head to toe, and so on. Dean was very fond of Cas's funny salutations and would frequently tell Sam the latest amusements that came out of his lover's mouth. He later learned that Dean used to write them down on his notes app so that he could read them again and laugh his ass off.

Dean wasn’t a man of many words, and Cas frequently struggled with expressing his feelings, but they were both making an effort to show the other that they cared, and talk when they felt like something was bothering them. It was a lesson in articulating their needs and wants, and they both agreed to try and be open and not judgmental towards one another. Cas could tell that Dean, who was usually hot headed, was trying to listen first instead of assuming and exploding when something didn’t sit right by him.

Cas's therapist was delighted to learn about their progress, and had helped Cas with regulating his emotions and reactions. They had practiced different scenarios that were plausible to take place in a relationship, and this allowed Cas to think about solutions and address some issues even before they happened, which proved quite helpful.

The only big fight they had was after Cas had received a phone call from his brother Luke. Luke was having financial problems. Cas's brother was always opportunistically reckless, investing in one pyramid scheme after the other despite Cas's warnings. He had two kids from two ex-wives, and despite being a loving person, he wasn’t behaving responsibly, which resulted in him being bankrupt and getting involved with the wrong crowd.

Cas was used to Luke disappearing for long periods of time and then popping up asking for money. Sometimes Cas would say no, depending on his own monetary situation, and other times he would help as much as possible while trying to talk his brother into changing his ways, so far to no avail.

When Cas told Dean that he had sent a substantial sum to save Luke from losing his apartment, Dean got all protective and annoyed, telling Cas that his brother was taking advantage of him and that he shouldn’t encourage such behavior. He walked around the apartment angrily while Cas set bundled up on the couch, face all scrunched up in like a scolded child.

Cas tried to explain that Luke was only a baby when they were taken from their dysfunctional parents and placed into foster homes. He tried to explain that he had tried getting custody over his little brother but had no means back then to make that happen. He tried to explain that Luke was fragile and had sever trust issues that made him run away from his problems. He tried to explain that he always felt a little guilty for not being able to create a different reality for him and his siblings, but all he managed do was sob in angst and curl into a compacted human ball, too overwhelmed by his emotions.

The minute Dean realized he was crying, he got down on his knees in front of Cas and apologized repeatedly, voice turning soft and worried instead of furious. He leaned his forehead on Cas's thigh and asked for his forgiveness, explaining that he was simply trying to protect him, that he was concerned about his boyfriend's well-being, that he didn’t mean to upset him and "please… please Cas, look at me".

When Cas calmed down he lifted his head up, revealing a pair of glistening blue eyes. Then, finally, he told Dean about his childhood and how he and his brothers struggled to stay together when everyone around them was tearing them apart. Their parents weren’t really present and neglected their children, they were poor and uneducated at first, and then social services got involved. Kelly, the social worker that was assigned to them, which Cas called "his savior", helped them stay in touch and made sure they were being taken care of when no one else bothered. She was the only reason Cas managed to get a scholarship and a degree in art. She was the one to encourage him to get diagnosed, and they were still in touch. Kelly was like the mother he never had, and he was forever grateful to her.

It was the first time Cas shared his story with Dean, and it helped his lover understand his motivations and perspectives better. Dean had known his fair share of familial struggles. It was an experience Cas and he shared, that made them cherish the special bond they were creating together even more.

After their conversation, Cas took Dean inside his studio for the first time, and showed him portraits that he did, featuring his two brothers, Luke and Gabe, and his sister, Anna. They were made using colored pencils, and were extremely detailed to the point of having every tiny hair strand or freckle show once one looked close enough. The portraits were colorful, with bright yellows and pinks, creating an innocent atmosphere, but the faces in the paintings were sad, troubled, which contrasted the naive impression. It was eerily haunting, beautiful and full of sentiment.

Dean was in awe, staring at his talented boyfriend's sketches without being able to speak. Then he swooped Cas in his arms and kissed his long and hard until his lips were red and swollen and his head was spinning.

"These are remarkable, I can't believe how gifted you are"

Cas blushed and showed him another, smaller caricature of Anubis. He was painted sitting on a throne, wearing a crown and a velvet purple cape, his face slightly tilted upwards in a condescending fashion. It was a manifestation of the dog's personality, that was so accurate it made Dean laugh so hard he snorted, causing Cas to laugh out loud as well.

Cas continued to show him a couple more pieces, such as another caricature of Toad sitting in a puddle of murky mud, painted green and looking Toady as hell, and a few more dogs from the shelter that inspired Cas's imagination. There was also a portrait of Charlie, dressed like a warrior amazon, body engulfed in golden flames that suited her fiery character.

The last drawing Cas pulled out was a small sketch featuring Dean, lying on his back, asleep and bare chested, with his hands folded under his head. He looked tranquil and satiated, and Dean wandered if Cas drew it after one of their amazing love makings. The background around pencil Dean was all pink, purple, blue and green hues, entwined together like in sunset. It radiated passion, tenderness and serenity. Dean was so touched he almost wept, but instead he gathered Cas in his arms again and buried his nose in the almond scented heap of dark hair, murmuring his appreciation and affection.

Chapter Text

"Cas?"

"Hmm?" came the sleepy reply, and the dark haired lump that was resting on Dean's chest moved to reveal two charmingly blue orbs that stared hazily at him.

"You know I care about you, right?"

"Yes, Dean. I can feel it in your words and see it in your actions"

Dean smiled, letting his finger trace a line along Cas's soft cheek. "You know I love having you in my arms, and under me, and above me, and I think you're the sweetest, most adorable creature I've ever met?"

"Where are you going with this, Dean?" Cas's expression turned suspicious.

"Just… hear me out, sweetie pie" Dean said, trying to keep his voice from trembling. He was going to make a big move, suggest something that scared him to his core, something he'd never thought possible until he met Cas, until he was certain that he was in fact, head over heels in love.

Cas lifted up from his cuddling spot on Dean's chest, and settled like a child, elbows on knees and chin resting in his palm, with his legs crossed. Dean lifted himself to lean against the bed frame, looking intently at his lover.

"Cas, I know this is a big step and I know you might not feel ready the same way I do, and its completely fine by me that we take things slow, but I just want to let my intentions be known. I want us to live together. I want to see you every morning when I wake up, and I want to fall asleep next to your perfect, snoring little butt every night. Being with you for the past couple of months has been the smartest decision of my life, and I am happy. I am happy and it's because of US, Cas"

Cas's face lit up with the most delightful smile. "I feel the same, Dean. You make me feel safe. I love your laughter and your sense of humor, and the way you take care of your family (and your car of course). You accept me for who I am and you never once tried to change me. I appreciate our talks, our time together, and our amazing sex. This IS a big step, but if we take it together I'm sure we're going to be just fine"

"So, is that a yes? Will you move in with me and Stevie?"

"I think Toad and Stevie will be more than happy to be able to play together on a daily basis" Cas said, eyeing the two mutts that were resting side by side on the bedroom floor.

"I'd be more than happy if we played together on a daily basis, Cas, and by playing I mean kissing and fucking till we're too tired to move" Dean wiggled his eyebrows at him and watched Cas burst out laughing.

"I get the message, Dean, I may have ASD but even I can detect a sexual innuendo when I see one"

"If by ASD you mean "Ass that's Seducing Dean" than you definitely have that" Dean said, puling Cas into his arms and swatting his behind playfully. Cas yelped in a very uncharacteristic manner, to Dean's immense amusement. Dean circled him with his arms, embracing tightly with Cas's back pressed up to his chest. He started thrusting his hips up, rubbing his clothed erection between Cas's boxer clad ass cheeks.

"Dean…" Cas complained, but it sounded incredibly false.

"Yeah?" Came a panted reply as Dean felt his cock getting harder by the second.

"We were discussing us moving in together" Cas said, but made no attempt to pull away.

Dean continued his ministrations, bucking his groin up while puling Cas's hips down to rub harder on his cock, and nibbled on his ear. "I… if I understand correctly, you said yes, and then…oh, fuck… then we were talking about your gorgeous ass… fuck, yeah… and… oh, fuck… I need to…"

Dean flipped them over, overcome by an incredible urge to be inside Cas right fucking now. He managed to pull Cas's boxers down and free his own dick out of his underwear. He pushed against Cas, who was still open and slightly wet from their previous encounter, and slid his cock into the welcoming warmth. Cas panted under him, pushing his hips to meet Dean's impatient thrusts.

Dean propelled into him fast and rough, a little surprised by the overwhelming need to claim Cas as his. His lover was whimpering in pleasure and gripping the sheets under them. Sweat glistened on his exposed back and Dean leaned over to suck a purple bruise on Cas's neck, practically marking him.

"Dean…ahh…" Cas moaned, "What's gotten into you?" he mumbled as his dick was rubbing against the sheets.

"Need you… fuck, need you so bad…oh… I'm gonna…" Dean thrusted hard a couple more times, nailing Cas's prostate and making the man underneath him cry out and spill his load. Dean sped up his pace, pounding with urgency like a man on a mission. Suddenly, he let out a hoarse scream and his cock erupted deep inside his lover's body. Waves of pleasure washed over him and Dean whimpered while his body slowly quivered with the aftershocks.

They lay there, breathing hard, trying to regain a sense of humanity. Dean rolled over on his back and tried to catch his breath. He heard Cas chuckle and looked over to find him staring at him, face all sweaty and smiling, hair sticking all over the place, neck adorned with bruises.

"Dammit, Dean" Cas mumbled, and the blond man was surprised to hear him swear for the first time ever.

Dean ended up chuckling too, a little shocked by his own actions. Never in his life had he felt such longing for another human being. Cas was like a drug and Dean was officially hooked.

"I… I need you, Cas. Need every inch of you" he mumbled, body flooded with endorphins.

"I'm yours, need you too. But maybe next time give me a heads up before you sex me to death?"

"Sure thing, sweetie pie" Dean said, sated and smiling like an idiot. He wiggled his body towards Cas and started nuzzling at his neck, cheeks, ear, licking and nipping gently.

"Are you copying Toad's idea of affection, Dean? I knew I shouldn’t have let you two spend this much time together"

"Hey! It's not like I'm humping your leg, although…"

"No, Bad boyfriend!" Cas giggled, swatting him on the thigh.

"Not even if I give you my best doggie smile?" Dean suggested, hand sneaking up Cas's hip to grasp at his ass. He let out a bark, baring his teeth playfully.

"Dean, stop it, you're not a talking dog" Cas exclaimed, still giggling.

"I'll be whatever you want, sweetie pie, as long as you promise to adopt me for life" Dean murmured contently and snuggled tighter in Cas's embrace. "I can get used to this, you training me to be the perfect boyfriend"

"You're already perfect, Dean… perfect for me" Cas said, placing a gentle kiss on top of his lover's head.