Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The overwhelmingly warm air of Los Angeles sunk into you, almost immediately causing sweat to form on your brow. Despite the sudden heat, you pulled the hood of your purple sweatshirt down, focusing on following your assistant, Reed, to a sleek black SUV. All you wanted was to sleep.

“Y/n L/n!”

“Over here, Y/n!”

“Y/n! Why were you in South Korea?”

“Are you dating anyone, Y/n?”

The crowd of people around you were screaming, cameras flashing as a combination of airport security and bodyguards provided by the production company you were working with held them back.

You were nearly to the open door framed by two more guards when you went tumbling to the floor. One of the fans had managed to push past one of the security guards and had rammed into you. The backpack you had slung over one shoulder cushioned your fall slightly, but you landed flat on your ass. The guards standing at the car rushed forward. One hauled the screaming fan off of you while the other, one you were familiar with, helped you to your feet. Luca, the one who got you up, took the backpack from you and placed a hand on your lower back. He quickly pushed you into the car next to Reed, who looked super concerned.

You winced as you took a seat next to him. Luca gave you a worried look and placed your backpack on your lap. The door slammed and you let out a breath, slumping back in the seat as Reed fretted over you, buckling your seatbelt before taking the backpack from your lap and putting in securely between the two of you on the middle seat. The driver's side door opened followed by the passenger door. The guard who got the fan off you got behind the wheel while Luca clambered into the passenger seat in front of you. The car started and immediately took off for what you knew was going to be a long ride home.

“Y/n I’m so sorry, I should have stopped her. I’m so, so sorry. Please don’t fire me,” Reed looked like he was going to cry. He was always a nervous wreck in stressful situations.

“I’m not going to fire you, Reed,” you closed your eyes, digging into your jeans pocket, searching for the little treasure you knew was there.

“You should,” he was sniffling now.

“Reed, it’s the securities’ fault not yours,” Luca’s voice caused your eyes to open as you caught him staring at you, his brows pinched together. He’d been assigned to you every time you worked with this studio. He was handsome, tall and well muscled with blonde hair and blue eyes and sharp features. You’d shared a couple late nights during the filming of your very first movie with the studio that employed him, but those days were definitely behind you now. You have a boyfriend now. A secret one half way across the world, but a boyfriend still.

“He’s right, Reed. Don’t worry. Your job is safe and so am I,” you reached for Reed’s hand with one of yours while the other pulled your vape from your pocket. You squeezed his hand and took a long drag, tilting your head away from the other passengers to release the smoke. The high that hit you left you floaty and relaxed.

“I thought you quit?” Luca had one eyebrow raised as he was still turned in his seat to face you.

You shrugged. “Lots of stress lately.”

“Didn’t you just come from a 6 month vacation?”

Again you merely shrugged. Reed knew you were dating someone, but he didn’t know who and he was sworn to secrecy. Literally. Your manager had made him sign an NDA when he was hired, although, now that you knew Reed, you were certain he would be too scared of legal repercussions and losing you as a friend to reveal anything he shouldn’t.

Luca took that as his cue to drop the conversation. He turned to face the front, reaching for the radio. The volume wasn’t very high, but you immediately recognized the sound of Yunho’s voice crooning about loving someone, even though it was bad for him. Before his verse ended and the next member took over, you were sitting straighter in your seat.

“Change it,” you commanded, causing both Luca and the driver to look at you quickly. “Please,” Luca nodded once and switched to a different station. It was another song and artist you were familiar with, but this one didn’t cause your heart to hurt.

It was the voice of your roommate, Joanne. You’d pulled some strings and called in some favors to get her a single since she’d been a phenomenal singer since you were young. The distributing company had wanted to sign her, but she decided against leaving her teaching position at a nearby high school due to her love of her students and the books she forced them to read. She was a comforting thought, distracting you from thoughts of Yunho, what he was doing, what he was wearing, how he looked performing their complex, entrancing choreography…

Deciding that it was best you didn’t think of him for now, you opted for putting headphones in as soon as Joanne’s song was finished. Scrolling through your music, you opted for a calming, slightly melancholic playlist, taking one last hit of your vape before putting it away. Your eyes quickly closed as you relaxed into the leather seats, the swaying of the car putting you at ease.

Before long Reed was gently shaking you awake. You hadn’t even realized you had fallen asleep but the car was still, your door was open, and Luca waited outside with your luggage.

You stared up at the large, white two story that was your real home. Inside was your loving, best friend from high school, but the place didn’t feel nearly as inviting as the apartment you owned in Seoul. It didn’t have the same memories of you and Yunho.

Forcing yourself to think of the positive things, memories of you and Joanne drinking wine and cooking fry bread in the kitchen while dancing to your old hype playlist, summer days lounging beside the pool, and other things that brought you comfort.

It was with those thoughts that you forced yourself out of the SUV, snagging your backpack and slinging it over both shoulders before walking towards Luca.

“I can handle these on my own,” you took the handle of one suitcase from him before reaching for the other.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m positive,” he released his hold on the second large suitcase, giving you a once over as if he believed you were too frail to handle it. You had lost weight from the combined stress of being parted from Yunho for a long time once again, returning to acting after taking 6 months off, and the general anxiety of no longer being anonymous in a massive city like LA. Add that to the rigorous workout routine for the upcoming action movie you were set to start shooting in two weeks and your anxiety disorder that had set in not long after you made your acting debut at 16 and carried on strong for nearly 7 years, and you’ve got a wonderful recipe for poor health, physical and mental.

Reed followed you out of the car. “Do you need anything? Is there anything I can get you? Do you want me to call your parents? Joanne? Or even the studio. I’m sure they have whatever you ne-”

“Reed,” you stopped him with one raised hand and a kind, but exhausted smile. “Shut up. I can call my own parents. And Joanne is home,” you pointed to her car in the driveway. “I’m ok, really. I don’t need anything from you. I’ll see you in two weeks on set, Ok? And I’ll call you if I need you.”

He nodded and hugged you before climbing into the backseat of the car. When the door shut behind him, Luca’s focus returned to you.

“You can also call me if you need anything. You know I’m always happy to help and I haven’t seen you in so long,” his hand came up to cup your face and you moved back almost immediately.

“Sure, sure. See you later,” you quickly took your bags and made your way up the walkway to the dark wood door of your home, it had a pane of frosted glass cutting vertically down the middle. It was stylish, modern like the rest of the house. As soon as you had purchased it, your mom had insisted on remodeling the whole place. She had done a fantastic job, but sometimes it seemed too perfect. You were only 19 when you bought the place and it was incredibly lonely. The only thing that had made it feel like home was your childhood cat who had roamed the much too large house up until last year, when she passed from old age. It was around then that Joanne had moved in. She was a year older and had finished her English degree and gotten her teaching credentials at a university nearby. You had immediately insisted she moved in. You were usually gone for months on end for filming and she always house sat when you were away. It was perfect. You were lonely and she needed a place to stay as couldn’t remain in student housing any longer. It worked out perfectly. You had company and she had a rent free home a high school teacher could only dream of. The two of you had argued about the rent situation for a while but you had too much money to care about her paying you anyways. She did insist on buying groceries, though.

Speaking of Joanne, she threw the front door open before you could reach for the handle, instantly enveloping you in a bone crushing hug you wouldn’t expect for someone of her size, which you instantly returned. She was 5’2, sweet and charming with shoulder length black hair and large black glasses. Her laugh was contagious and so was her energy.

“I can’t believe you’re back!” She squeezed you tighter, burying her face into your chest, right between your boobs, which was a common hazard for someone her size.

Barking drowned out what you were going to respond with as your great dane, Ivan bounded out of the door. He whined and barked at your side until you pulled away from Joanne and knelt to pet the big, black monster of a dog.

“Hi baby,” you cooed, sinking to your knees and scratching behind his floppy ears while he tried to lick your face. You were mostly successful at avoiding his lolling tongue. “I missed you, handsome.”

While you were focused on the dog you hadn’t seen in far too long, Joanne brought your suitcases inside the foyer before leaning against the door frame, staring fondly at you and Ivan.

“He really missed you,” her voice drew your attention to her. “So did I.”

She was dressed in a fluffy blue sweater and denim shorts, wearing an eclectic assortment of rings and bracelets that didn’t match at all.

“I miss you so much,” you stood, dusting off your pants as you walked inside, Ivan following as you waited until he was inside to shut the heavy front door behind you. After slipping your shoes off, you looked around. The white walls of the house, combined with the wooden floors, house plants, paintings, and decorative items that made the house look like it came out of a magazine gave it that foreign, cold feeling you had expected, but it was greatly dulled by the wiggling mass of black fur at your side and your best friend of so many years. They made it feel like home again, although you did still long for the high rise apartment you owned in Seoul.

Your comment brought a wider smile to Joanne’s face. Her hands clapped together and her face grew mischievous.

“I want to hear all about your vacation and that yummy boyfriend of yours,” her hand grabbed yours and yanked you through the doorway to the left of the foyer, into the kitchen. She dropped your hand in favor of retrieving two wine glasses from the black cupboards and your favorite bottle of cheap white wine from the small built in wine fridge beneath the granite counters.

“Joanne it’s noon on a Tuesday,” you gave her a scathing look as Ivan barked.

She waved you off. “It’s 5 o'clock somewhere!”

You snorted. “What are you, 40?”

She ignored you in favor of pouring two large glasses. Despite your protests, you took the glass she handed you and clinked your glasses together. The wine was good and before long you two found yourselves curled up on the gray sectional in the living room that faced the pool and large backyard with Ivan pressed against your side. The window panels had been slid back, leaving the room open to the outside, warm air pouring in.

You had removed your sweatshirt, leaving you in an oversized shirt that most certainly belonged to Yunho. Your phones were placed on the coffee table along with the half full bottle of wine. Your vape was placed next to the bottle. Joanne had given you a disapproving look when you first took it out, but thankfully didn’t comment.

She listened attentively as you recounted your adventure. You had flown to Seoul to seek refuge after you nearly had a breakdown 6 months before. The pressure was getting to you and you couldn’t handle it. You had finished 3 intense projects back to back which left your pockets full and your fame skyrocketing. You, however, had fallen. Hard. What pushed you over the edge, needing a break, was news story after news story calling you a bad role model and party girl after a photo of you smoking a cigarette had been taken when you thought you were alone with a costar. You weren’t necessarily ashamed of smoking, for fucks sake you’d been doing it long before it was legal for you to do so, but you had quit about a year previously. A moment of weakness and pressure had caused you to pick it up again and seeing the photos everywhere, the comments everyone seemed to have, and the texts from your parents made it much worse. It shouldn’t have been made into the spectacle that it had been so you’d made your escape.

You had owned the apartment for about two years now. You bought it after your one year anniversary with Yunho. You’d met him by chance at a coffee shop in Seoul while you were there doing press for a movie. You were only 20 and had shyly approached him to tell him you were a fan. He had immediately recognized you and declared himself a fan of yours and you exchanged numbers. The press tour you had been on was finished after the stop in Seoul and you stayed a while, having brought Joanne with you since she was on a break from school and you wanted company. The two of you exchanged numbers and texting quickly turned to calling and calling turned into dates and before you knew it, you had spent a month in South Korea. Joanne had had to return home for school but you had decided to stay and you and Yunho had kept seeing each other. Things went well and you made it official about a week after Joanne left. Time flew and you spent your entire 4 month break with him. You eventually did have to return home, though. Another movie was waiting for you and a tour was on the horizon for him. You had considered calling it off, but after a long conversation and the first of many ‘I love you’s, you decided to continue. It would only be long distance for two months before you could see him again on his tour. You had attended every concert you could, staying in his hotel with him when you could and trying to pretend your relationship was normal for a night or two.

Halfway through his tour, you filmed yet another movie and by the time you finished he was home. You had immediately hopped on a plane to Seoul when you finished. It had always been easier for you to come visit him. You had a lot more freedom of movement than he did under his company and your schedule had longer breaks in between busy blocks of filming and promotions. Adding to that, South Korea offered its celebrities more privacy than the states did. That was why he’d never been to your home here in Los Angeles.

You’d purchased the apartment as a safe place for you two to get privacy since he lived in the dorms still. It was more than just a private place, though. It had become your escape, even when he wasn’t in the country you found yourself going for a week, decompressing and relaxing. You liked Seoul. You liked the people, the food, the scenery. It had even allowed you to work on your Korean. You had started to learn some when you first got into K-pop, but a short stint in an apartment in LA’s Ktown had encouraged you to practice even more and the older women at the grocery around the corner were happy to help you practice. By the time you had met Yunho, you could easily hold a conversation and now you were damn near fluent. You had even undertaken the momentous task of teaching him English. He was still learning and he struggled sometimes, but he was getting very good.

Joanne had watched your eyes glaze over and a smile grace your face as you were lost in memory and she smiled herself, grateful to have her friend back in their home.

She let you day dream, correctly presuming it was about Yunho. It wasn't long, though, before her curiosity got the best of her and she gently prodded your thigh to rouse you.

“Tell me! I want to hear all about your… adventures with that sexy boyfriend of yours,” her eyebrows wiggled and a salacious smile took over from her fond one.

You felt yourself flush at her words. “Well… it had been a bit since we’d seen each other so we… caught up.”

“Was it as good as it always is?”

“Joanne!”

“We’re best friends, you have to tell me,” you and Joanne had always had few boundaries and talking about your sex lives were never off the table. Her words caused you to sigh and you reached for the bottle on the table to refill your nearly empty wine glass.

Taking a long drink you turned back to her. “It’s always good but sometimes it's amazing.” The memories flooding into your mind left you flushing and longing. Not necessarily for the sex, but for him in general. “He-he has a thing for hickies but a few weeks ago… god I should have sent you a picture it was bad. Actually wait a second.”

You placed your glass on the table, swiping your phone from the glass surface. You dug through your photos searching for the right one. You swiped past photos of you and Yunho and it hurt a bit, but you focused on the mission at hand. Finding your prize, you handed the phone to Joanne.

It was from the day after he caught you smoking. There were black and blue and purple marks down both sides of your neck with some even taking up residence on the front of your throat. You were wearing just underwear and a sports bra in the photo to also show off the marks on your body. You had sent it to him after he had left to attend to his schedule that day. It featured the hickies that also littered your chest, including the deep one over your heart. Another focal point were the bruises on your left hip in the shape of his fingers.

“Y/N,” Joanne shrieked, wide eyes never leaving the photo. “Oh my god. I don’t know whether to yell at him or you. This is… this is intense holy shit.”

You blushed even harder, turning your attention to Ivan sleeping beside you. It was easier to scratch his ears than face your friend. He grumbled, satisfied with the attention he was getting.

“God. If I didn’t know how well he treated you, I would be concerned,” Joanne finally handed you your phone back, shaking her head and eyeing your neck. None of the marks from that night remained and you knew that the marks from your last goodbye had faded completely also.

You cleared away your tabs and shut your phone off. Before you could deposit it on the table, it lit up. It was picture of you and Yunho with masks on, pressing your foreheads together at Namsun Tower, overlooking Seoul. Mingi had taken it while the three of you had been out on a walk one evening several months ago. ‘You Know Who’ followed by several heart emojis was calling.

You instantly stood, disrupting Ivan who sleepily stared up at you. “I’ve gotta take this.”

Joanne nodded and you headed through the open space to a far corner of the deck outside. You made yourself comfortable on one of the many teal lounging chairs as you hit accept. Bringing the phone to your ear you nearly sighed in relief at hearing his voice.

“Hey baby,” he sounded raspy and still half asleep. You quickly checked your watch, which displayed both your time zone and his, side by side. It was almost 6 am there.

“Hey Yunho. It's early.”

“Mmm,” he hummed and god did he sound amazing. You could picture him in your mind. Shirtless, with messy hair standing up at odd angles while he blinked sleep out of his eyes. He liked to sleep on his stomach, clutching a pillow to his chest. It always gave you such a good view of the redwood tree tattooed on his spine. He’d gotten it to match yours on your third anniversary. It was his very first and he had also declared it his last, claiming it hurt too much and that nothing else meant enough to him to get it tattooed.

“I wanted to talk to you, so I got up early,” his words were slightly slurred, like he had woken up seconds before calling you. “I just needed to know you got home safe.”

Everything about him gave you butterflies in your stomach, even after so long. “I did, love. Joanne and Ivan were very happy to see me.”

“Not as happy as I’m going to be in two months.”

In two months Ateez was holding their final farewell concert in Seoul after promotions for their final album finished. It had managed to line up perfectly with when the movie you were filming finished. You couldn’t wait. You loved watching him onstage. His energy was unmatchable and his voice was so sweet, but once he stepped off that stage in two months, you could just be Yunho and Y/n. Not a Kpop idol and an American actress. For a little while. The two of you planned on going public after his contract with KQ officially ended, but you were pushing that off as long as possible, wanting to enjoy the anonymity your relationship still had. Granted, you’d be able to go places together in public once it was announced, but that would bring unwanted attention that you were not looking forward to.

“I can’t wait to see you again.”

There was a lull in conversation before he spoke again.

“I want to come to your house,” this gave you pause. As much as you had talked about being together and your future, you two had never really talked about him coming to you. He was born and raised in South Korea and you had grown to love the place. You had always assumed the two of you would settle down there, in the apartment you loved so much before maybe moving to a house just outside Seoul with you traveling for work when necessary. “Baby?”

“I want you here,” your voice was quiet, but you knew from the sounds of shuffling on his end that he heard you. You imagined him finally sitting up in bed, leaning against the wall, sheets messed up as his long legs stretched out. You knew his roommate, San, was probably still asleep in the bed across from him.

“I wish I could be there. I want to meet Ivan and see Joanne and take road trips all over the country. I want you, next to me always. After we disband, I’m not letting you go anywhere alone, ever,” his words nearly brought tears to your eyes.

“I hope that doesn’t apply to when I have to go to the bathroom.”

The smile in his voice was so apparent as he spoke. “Nope I’m following you everywhere. I’ll be like the puppy dog my fans think I am. You’re never getting away from me. I’ll make sure you’re sick of me, Y/n.” You’d certainly like to see him try.

“I don’t think I could ever be sick of you.”

“SHUT UP!” There was suddenly shouting on his end and the sound of loud thuds as San presumably threw something at him. More shouting and rustling came through, almost incoherent but it sounded like him and San were wrestling.

San must have been victorious because all of a sudden there was panting and running footsteps while Yunho’s yelling got quieter in the background.

“Y/N!” You yanked the phone away from your ear, wincing at the shouting. “Y/n he won’t shut up about you, dear god please take him away from us.”

A laugh bubbled out of your throat. “I will, I will. Don’t worry, San.”

“Good. When are you coming back? We miss you,” a faint voice in the background asked if he was talking to you. San responded in the affirmative.

“I won’t be back until your concert. But I’ll be there, cheering for all of you.”

“You should call me more,” you guessed correctly that San had put you on speaker as Mingi’s pouting voice was the next one you heard.

“Yeah you don’t call me either,” San joined in.

“I promise to call you both if you give Yunho his phone back,” bargaining was the best way to get them to listen to you as you had learned. Asking nicely only worked on Yunho and commanding them only caused them to resist more.

“Okay okay fine. But you better call at least once a week,” you heard more shuffling, doors opening and closing and finally running water. “Ah, he’s in the shower. Want me to facetime you?” San’s mischievous voice was teasing and he didn’t even give you time to answer before your phone was jingling again.

With a sigh you pulled the phone from your ear to hold it out in front of you and answered. San’s bare face, blonde hair, and evil smirk greeted you.

“Don’t be mean,” you chastized.

“Me? Mean? Never,” before you could protest further, he switched the camera around and opened the bathroom door. Yunho called out in confusion from the shower before San yanked back the curtain giving you the wonderful sight of Yunho’s bare body. His back was to you, giving you a great view of his ass along with his toned back and the wonderful tattooed tribute to you.

“SAN!” Yunho whipped around, eyes wide and hands covering his dick. “What the fuck!?”

“Your girl wanted me to give the phone back to you so I figured I’d give her a show,” he was giggling but was quickly shut up when Yunho grabbed the detachable shower head to spray him. He screamed as Yunho snatched the phone out of his hand before he went running.

Yunho shut off the water. From this new angle, all you could see was his handsome face and the top of his muscular shoulders. His hair was dripping over his face and he looked apologetic. “I’m sorry, baby.”

“Don’t be, you know I always love looking at you,” despite your confident, flirty answer your cheeks were red. Your mind started to wander somewhere it definitely shouldn’t while you were in your backyard, staring at the mountains beyond your neighborhood.

“Mmm trust me I know,” his bottom lip was caught between his teeth, his eyes darkening suddenly, causing you to squirm a bit in your seat. His mouth opened to say something but he was interrupted by a banging on the door.

“Yunho hurry up! We’ve gotta go in 20 minutes and the rest of us have to shower!” It was Hongjoong yelling at him.

“Use the other bathroom!” was his response.

“We can’t. Seonghwa’s in there. You know he takes forever.”

“Fuck,” Yunho muttered.

“Just call me when you’re done with your schedule for today, love,” you knew it’d be super late but you could sacrifice an hour or so of your sleep to talk to him.

He sighed. “Ok I’ll call you tonight.”

“I love you.”

“I love you more, baby.”

And with a beep his face disappeared and you were left staring at your home screen, a picture of the two of you asleep on the couch in his dorm.

Chapter Text

It was nearly 1 am when your phone rang. You had just climbed into bed after a long day of shooting, feeling sick to your stomach, and dodging Luca. He seemingly hadn’t gotten the hint when you shrugged him off after him and the other guard picked you up from the airport. He continuously followed you around, unnecessarily trying to help with anything he could and giving you lingering looks when he thought you couldn’t see. It was driving you crazy. Today you had asked to have a new guard assigned by the studio, telling them the two of you didn’t get along.

His caller ID was lighting up your phone on the wooden night stand next to your large bed. You were tempted not to answer, but knew he’d confront you about it tomorrow on set. Sighing, you sat up against the headboard and readied yourself for the conversation you knew was going to be taxing.

You turned on your lamp before unplugging your vibrating phone from the charger. With one more steadying breath, you answered.

“Y/n,” he sounded irritated and a little drunk. “You had me removed. Why?”

“Luca…”

“Why?”

“Look it just wasn’t working-”

“That’s bullshit. We work great together,” you didn’t like where this was going. “We always have, so why are you bitching now?”

“Luca-” you began, but once again, didn’t get a chance to finish.

“Is this because of the sex? We worked great when we were having sex and now everytime I try to invite you over you refuse. So what's changed, huh? You don’t like putting-”

“Luca! Shut the hell up,” you were pissed now. “I had you removed because you’ve been overbearing and trying to act like my boyfriend or something. We’re not together and we never have been. The sex was fine but it’s been years. I haven’t seen you in years and you expect me to jump back into bed with you?”

“Yeah I do. You’re not dating anyone,” you stayed silent. “Oh? Are you? Who is it, huh? That bitch you live with? Is it that fa-”

You hung up and blocked him, phone tossed feet away from you before he could insult you or your housemate anymore. Joanne had thought Luca hot, but upon meeting him she had declared the man a foul dickhead who deserved to be castrated. She wasn’t wrong. He had always been more than a little annoying and rough around the edges. Sex with him had been rough, harsh, mean. It was so different to the rough sex you had with Yunho. No matter how mean Yunho got with you, there was always love and care behind every single one of his actions. Luca had none of that. He was cruel and punishing but you had welcomed that, needing a distraction from life. He was good, but not as good as Yunho, who knew you and your body better than anyone had ever.

With your knees pulled up to your chest, you reached for your phone again.

Yunho answered in an instant. “Hey, baby!” There was the sound of a door closing and you assumed he’d gone somewhere private.

Everything about the man was comforting, even his voice when he was thousands of miles away. “Hey Yun. Are you busy?”

“I’m never busy when you call,” that was a lie. His schedule was packed tight and you both knew it. Yunho often made small, white lies like this. Mostly to appease you, even though 9 times out of 10 you knew he wasn’t telling the truth. “What’s up?”

You should tell him. You really should. “Nothing, I just really missed you, baby.”

“Mmm thinking about me at,” there was a pause and you correctly guessed he was checking his watch. “1:07 am? I would love to hear those thoughts.”

“Are you alone?” you suddenly felt nervous but the best way to get your mind off of the shitshow that was Luca was to literally get off. Preferably to your boyfriend's low voice in your ear.

“I’m very alone, baby girl. Everyone but Mingi and I are out.”

Memories of him and Mingi came flooding into your head. That one drunken night a few months with both of them surrounding you, blocking out everything that wasn’t the two big men ruining you over and over. Without even thinking, your free hand slid to your stomach, toying with the band of your sleep shorts.

“Baby,” Yunho was damn near purring. “What are you thinking about?”

Your breath hitched and you swallowed before replying. “You. And- and Mingi. When we… when you guys…”

You couldn’t bring yourself to finish, flushing bright red. You gnawed on your lip, suddenly anxious over his reply.

“Mmm I remember that. We should do that again, yeah? Mingi didn’t stop talking about you for weeks, baby. He kept dreaming about you and your magic mouth,” his words were going straight to your core. You could feel how wet you were just from your thoughts and his words. “Actually, his birthday is a few days after our concert…”

You knew exactly where this was going and it forced a broken whine from your throat before you could stop it. Yunho’s deep, dark chuckle echoed around your brain.

“I think you might be the best present he’d ever get in his life.”

Your brain finally started to work. Somewhat. “We would be the best present. I saw how you looked at each other and how you kissed.”

He laughed again. “And I saw how you looked at us kissing, don't play coy little girl.”

That did it. Your hand slipped beneath the elastic at the top of your shorts, immediately ghosting your fingertips over your lower lips, feeling the wetness that leaked from you. Yunho’s voice never failed to get you like this.

Shuffling on the other end of the line let you imagine him, stripping and grabbing ahold of himself. His hands and arms especially, veins flexing and long fingers tightening. God you wanted his hand around your throat.

“Touching yourself yet, baby?” You dropped your phone on your bed, rushing to put it on speaker so you didn’t miss a single comment of his.

“Yes,” your reply was breathy and you finally allowed your fingers to come in contact with your clit. You immediately started slow circles with two fingers, clenching around nothing as you imagined him inside you.

There was a faint noise from him then slow, slick movements as he started to touch himself. He let out a low groan. “God, baby the things I would do to you if you were here.”

“Maybe I’d give Mingi a call. Let him watch the things I do to you. Let him have you when I’m done,” his pace increased and you followed, feeling the familiar feeling of an orgasm rising slowly. You made sure to keep the noises you released quiet. Joanne’s room was directly below yours and while the walls were thick, you couldn’t help but be paranoid. As much as you loved her, this moment was for no one but you and Yunho.

“Please…” you trailed off into a whine as your fingers gradually increased their tight circles and you kept clenching.

“Please? Please what baby? You want to come?” Yunho’s voice was deep and deadly, small noises of pleasure leaking out between his words.

“God yes, Yunho… I want you so bad,” you were so close, standing right on the edge, eyes closed, as images of him flashed across your eyelids. The way he looked at you the last time you had fucked, how he held your hands above your head that one night you had in New York, the way his eyes darkened when he came home to you in nothing but his tour shirt. Your free hand reached up to squeeze one of your breasts through your shirt.

“Fuck Y/n I need you to come for me. Do it baby, be a good girl.”

Your fingers worked furiously, your lips leaking noises freely. A combination of his words and the final image that flashed through your mind did you in. It was him, prowling towards you the first time you had experimented with handcuffs before diving in between your legs and not stopping until you cried and begged.

Your body locked up for a second, before your legs shook and more noises spilled from you, freely and loudly. You heard his groans increase in volume and frequency before he gave one last, low noise.

There was silence aside from your shared panting for several moments before he groaned and you heard loud shuffling noises as he presumably rose to clean himself up. You followed his lead, stripping off your shorts to toss them in your laundry basket before tugging a nearly identical pair out of your dresser and up your legs. Scratching and whining at your door drew your attention.

Ivan waited on the other side of it, his head tilted and you called him in. He immediately took up a position on the side of the bed you never slept on. The big dog curled up as small as he could and gave you pouty eyes before his attention was drawn to your phone.

“Y/n? You still there?”

“Yeah I am,” you shut the door and returned to your bed, scooping up your phone and getting comfortable again. “Ivan wanted in.”

“Ah. Send me a picture?” Yunho’s voice was back to its usual, sweet tone. His duality, on and off stage and in and out of the moment had been extremely jarring at first, but now it was comforting.

“Of course,” you navigated to your camera app. Once you succeeded, you leaned towards Ivan who instantly tried to lick you. You grabbed his head and tried to make him pose for the photo as best you could. You couldn’t see him, but Yunho had a hopelessly soft smile on his face as he heard you arguing with the dog, who answered each of your complaints and directions with a quiet ‘woof’.

When you had finally gotten a picture, you sent it off to him. Returning to your side of the bed, you turned on your side. You keep Yunho on speaker, curling up around the phone as if it was really him.

“I love it. That’s my new lock screen.”

“I’ll send a better one tomorrow when I’ve got makeup on,” you looked exhausted in the photo but the makeup artists on set could always make you look like you’d gotten a full night's sleep.

“I’m not opposed to that, but I love this picture. It’s what I imagine going to bed with you after we’re free looks like. You and me and Ivan and,” he paused as your breath hitched. You didn’t know exactly what he was going to say but you had an idea. “And- and maybe a… a kid or two.”

The end of his sentence was quiet. You had hit it right on the head. Despite you and Yunho’s shared breeding kink, you really hadn’t talked much about kids. You had barely talked about marriage as it wasn’t exactly an option while he was still an idol.

“Do you…do you want kids with me?” You felt really small all of a sudden, feeling the need to reach around you to grab your body pillow.

“I do. I want to spend forever with you,” the first tears caught you off guard.

“I want that too, so badly.”

“We’re so young but I can’t imagine any way to spend the rest of my life than with you. And we’re so close to getting that. Just two weeks.”

Your heart felt so full and so empty all at once. The days seemed to drag on despite how close you were to getting everything you wanted. Ok well, you did kind of want an Oscar, but that was nothing compared to how much you wanted to be with him, free of the sneaking around his management and the press that you had to do.

“Two weeks,” you echoed.

“Two weeks until I’m holding onto you forever,” his smile was audible.

“I love you so much.”

“I love you more baby. Two weeks.”

This time, it was your smile that was easily heard. “Two weeks.”

Chapter Text

From the wrap party you had gone straight to the airport. The hours between check in and boarding inched by so slowly you felt like you were losing your mind. It didn’t help that you’d had to take a trip to the bathroom due to nausea. The stress of the long flight you were about to take, the general worrying you always did when Yunho was about to go on stage, plus your anxiety all surrounding the small present you had brought for him was eating you up inside.

By the time you boarded the plane and settled into your little first class cubicle, you had worn yourself out. As soon as you were in the air, you reclined your seat and passed out.

When you finally woke, about half of the nearly 14 hour flight had passed. You found you were starving. Reaching for the small menu, you pondered the choices, opting for a fruit plate and some orange juice. Anything heavier would simply make you nauseous again.

Once the flight attendant had delivered your meager breakfast, you tucked in, enjoying the fruit while you scrolled through the movie options on the TV in front of you.

Korean Air had a large selection of American and Korean movies with a moderate selection of other foreign films. You found yourself wincing and quickly moving past every one of your films until ‘Spiderwoman’ appeared on screen. You were only 19 when you had filmed it, 20 when it released, and it was the only one of your movies you could actually stand watching. You had been so incredibly proud of your work that you had gotten a spiderweb tattooed on your shoulder after filming ended. It had earned you the title of ‘Academy Award Nominated actress, Y/n L/n’. You hadn’t won, losing to a much older and experienced actress, but it had put you on the map.

It was also the film you had been in Seoul promoting when you had met Yunho.

You shook yourself and moved past it. You continued scrolling until you stumbled upon Yunho’s first film. ‘In the Worst Way’, it was called. It was an action thriller that had done wonders for his reputation as an actor. It had even gotten him a Daesang. As much as you loved the film, you knew it would make you miss him so you carried on with your search. When nothing piqued your interest, you resigned yourself to watching ‘Spiderwoman’ while you ate your fruit.

It had been nearly a year and a half since you had watched it. The last time being when Yunho’s members had forced you to during a movie night you had been present for. You could have said no, but their pleading eyes and your pride for this one project had caused you to give in easily.

You weren’t necessarily ashamed of your other movies. Well, aside from the reboot of the Alicia Silverstone movie, ‘The Crush’. Your version was an 18 year old college student falling in love with a much older professor and going crazy, instead of a 14 year like in her version, but it was still insanely fucked up and had been your third movie overall and your very first as an adult. It still made you cringe. It was a wonder Marvel had cast you in ‘Spiderwoman’ after that fiasco.

Trying to forget about your past bad career decisions, you focused on the movie. You had always been overly critical of yourself, but even you had to admit you did a damn good job on this film. Hopefully, the sequel you had just filmed was just as good. You had tried your best to fully immerse yourself as best you could, but most people could tell you didn’t have the same energy as you did 4 years ago.

The movie eventually ended and the stewardess came by to take your empty glass and plate before returning with the green tea you had requested. Resigning yourself to listening to the music blasting through your headphones and staring out the window, looking at passing clouds, you sipped on the hot tea.

A little over a month ago, you had finally quit smoking. It had been hard but you’d persevered, knowing it was best for you and those around you. You had replaced that habit with lots and lots of tea. And a few nicotine patches for the first two weeks before you’d stopped using them. Yunho had been so incredibly proud when you told him and Joanne had brought home a cake on the one month anniversary of you throwing your vape and back up pack of cigarettes away.

As you finished your tea, you finally checked your phone. It was on airplane mode and you hadn’t bothered to pay for wifi, preferring to disconnect for a while. Between your movie and cloud watching, you’d managed to eat up 4 more hours of the flight. In just under 3 hours, you’d be landing in Incheon at noon. An hour after that you’d likely be through border security and an hour after that you’d be in your apartment.

Ateez’s concert started at 6 pm and would probably go until around 10. Excitement was already buzzing under your skin, along with nerves. You needed to calm down, it was still hours until you could see Yunho again.

Deciding to distract yourself, you asked for another cup of tea and flipped through the games on your phone.

You had been wrong. It took nearly 2 hours for the car service to get you to your apartment due to traffic. By the time you were dragging your suitcases through the door, it was almost 3. You had to arrive at Olympic Stadium at 5 to be escorted to the VIP box the boys had reserved for you and a few of their partners.

You had met them a few times before but the only one you really knew well was Yoon Miyeon, Hongjoong’s fiance. They had been together before Yunho and you were and had gotten engaged a month ago. Their wedding was in six months and you couldn’t have been more excited for her. You were going to be one of her bridesmaids. She was formerly a stylist for Ateez but had transferred to a different company after she started dating Hongjoong to avoid any trouble with KQ.

Yeosang’s girlfriend, Kim Doyeon, another idol, and San’s boyfriend (who you secretly suspected might be Wooyoungs too, based on how they acted), Lee Hosung, a non celebrity, were also going to be there. Jongho had been dating a Japanese idol he refused to tell the name of, but she was overseas promoting and couldn’t attend. That had given you all clues, but still, no one had been able to figure it out. Seonghwa had been flirting off and on with Yeri of Red Velvet for months, but they had never made anything official and you didn’t know if she was going to be there.

Pushing your thoughts aside, you focused on picking an outfit from what you had brought in your suitcases and what was still in the closet of your apartment. You wanted to look cute, but you definitely did not want to stand out.

Sorting out what to wear proved to be very difficult, but by 4, you had settled on loose fitting jeans and an old Ateez shirt you had stolen from Yunho a while ago. You had just enough time to throw on some makeup, fix your hair, and gather up all the essentials to go in your purse. You were nearly out the door when you remembered to grab the newest version of their lightstick that the boys had gifted you when it was released. You even had some spare batteries hidden in a drawer.

Quickly, you grabbed a flannel jacket and a black face mask before heading down the fancy hallway of the complex and into its equally nice elevator. Upon stepping out of the elevator, a man in a black suit you recognized as one of Ateez’s staff members waited for you in the lobby. Your steps rang out loudly as you hurried to follow him into the SUV that was waiting for you.

When he opened the door, you were happy to see Miyeon waiting for you. She had always looked good, but with her new blond hair, knee high socks, purple dress, and denim jacket she looked amazing. Even her oversized purse was a complimentary shade of maroon.

As soon as you had settled into the car, she pulled you into a hug.

“Y/n! I missed you so much!”

“I missed you too, Miyeon. It’s been too long,” she pulled away from you as the car started to pull away from your building. As her hands settled in her lap, you couldn’t help but notice the ring on her left hand. “Oh my god, it’s gorgeous!”

She slyly held her hand up so you could gawk at the ring you had yet to see in person. It was small and gold, but had a diamond in the center with a topaz and an emerald on opposite sides to represent their birth months. “I know right! It’s everything I wanted!”

The rest of the ride passed quickly as the two of you gushed about her upcoming wedding. It was only when the driver approached the stadium and was granted entry by the security guard at the back entrance that she asked about you and Yunho.

“So, when are you getting your very own ring?” She wiggled her fingers at you.

“Hopefully soon,” you were blushing slightly.

“Oh? So you’ve talked about it?” You had. Not too much more beyond that night when he had confessed to wanting children with you, as both of you had decided that was a conversation best had in person.

“We have a bit. And I hope we get married soon,” You bit your lip as the car rolled to a stop. “I’m-”

Before you could finish, your door was opened by another staff member. Miyeon gave you a look that said ‘later’ and you nodded before exiting.

The stadium was huge from the outside and you couldn’t believe Ateez had managed to sell out almost every seat in the venue. Olympic Stadium was massive from the outside, but the view quickly vanished as you and Miyeon were ushered inside to avoid any pictures being taken. The staff led you through a maze of hallways before opening the side door that led to the hallway containing doors to the VIP boxes. The two of you were led to one labeled ‘8’ and told that another staff member would come collect you before the last song so you could all meet the members backstage once the concert ended.

You thanked them before they were off, back down the hallway. Miyeon opened the door and you followed her through. There was one staff member wearing all black behind the bar on the right side of the room. On the left was a table full of appetizers. In front of you was a balcony that showed your box was directly facing center stage. There were dividers on the sides to block the neighboring boxes from looking in and several plush looking chairs and benches placed on the balcony. Inside, there were two tall cocktail tables with no stools.

Doyeon, Hosung, and, surprisingly, Yeri, were all crowded around one. Each of them had a beer in front of them and they were laughing.

Hosung’s eyes lit up when he saw you and Miyeon. His hair was silver and it matched the multitude of rings and necklaces he wore. He looked like he had stolen clothing items out of San’s closet, which was very likely. His black button down was half done up and tucked into black jeans. He had a dark purple velvet jacket thrown over the top. He was a year older than you and the two of you had become fast friends when San introduced him to everyone 6 months ago.

“Y/n!” You let him pull you into a hug as he immediately started chatting about how much he missed you and much he has to tell you.

Doyeon was dressed in a flowy blouse with black jeans and she simply gave you a nod and a smile. She had been friendly since she and Yeosang started dating a year and a few months ago, but she was relatively reserved and usually pretty quiet.

Yeri was greeting Miyeon, as they had worked together in the past. She had on an Ateez shirt not unlike your own, but hers was tucked into a flowy white skirt.

“Hello,” she bowed slightly to you when she and Miyeon had caught up a bit.

“It’s nice to meet you, I’m Yunho’s girlfriend, Y/n,” you returned the bow and she smiled brightly.

“Very nice to meet you. I’m Seonghwa’s something,” she waved her hand dismissively and everyone laughed.

“Y/n! Have a beer,” Hosung dragged you to the bar.

“Oh no I shouldn’t,” you thought quickly. “I just got off a plane, if I have a drink I’ll fall asleep.”

Hosung whined for a minute before he gave in and you asked the bartender for ginger ale.

With your drink in hand, you made your way back to the table as the conversation quickly turned to careers. You were peppered with questions about your movies, but each and every time you succeeded in redirecting the conversation back to one of the other four.

Before you knew it, the arena started to fill up as fans filed in 45 minutes before the show started. The five of you disregarded the filling arena and continued to snack and chat until the lights started to dim. It was then that you took your seats, being settled between Hosung and Miyeon, preparing for the show to start.

It was about halfway through the concert when a fan seated below your box turned to scan the arena. It was during a moment when the venue was lit up as the boys performed ‘Aurora’ and you knew from the look on the girl's face as you made eye contact that she recognized you. Before she could raise her phone to take a picture, you turned your head and left your seat to go pace safely under the overhang where you weren’t visible.

Doyeon and Yeri had kept their masks on, but you had removed yours to laugh and sing with Miyeon and Hosung. It was stupid, but you had enjoyed the normalcy of it all until it bit you in the ass.

Miyeon had followed you when you got up and you knew everyone’s eyes were on you, but you couldn’t stop your hands from shaking as you walked back and forth. You didn’t really know why you were panicking so much. Yes the girl had seen you, but you had mentioned in interviews before that you were a fan of Ateez. It wasn’t that odd that you would be at their final concert. Your reasoning couldn’t stop your panic from building, though.

Miyeon grabbed your hands, steadying them. You saw Yeri and Doyeon give you understanding but sympathetic looks as they stopped Hosung from approaching you after Miyeon, pulling him to sit between them and encouraging him to focus on the show.

“Y/n. What happened?” Miyeon pulled you farther from the balcony. She had seen you panic before. She was 7 years older than you and could easily calm you down quickly.

“I- a- a fan saw me,” you forced out even though your throat felt like it was closing up. “She recognized me.”

“Deep breaths,” one of her hands left yours to settle on her chest and demonstrate breathing for you to follow. It was hard with the loud music mimicking the pounding of your heart.

“Air,” you croaked out.

She nodded, keeping a tight hand as she pulled you through the door into the hallway. There were two bodyguards outside the door.

“Minyoung, we need to go outside,” the bodyguard on the left nodded and gestured for you to follow him. He led you quietly through the hallway in the opposite direction you had entered from before leading you out onto a secluded terrace. It was a bit chilly outside as the sun had gone down about an hour ago but it felt good. Minyoung stayed by the door, looking away from you respectfully, as Miyeon led you farther away from him to lean you against a wall.

You slid down to take a seat while Miyeon crouched next to you.

“Y/n,” her voice was gentle. “You’re safe. There’s no way that one girl saw you and figured out your whole life story from one second of eye contact.”

You knew that. You really did, but your heart wouldn't stop racing. You took deep breaths of the cool air and willed yourself to calm down, it was working, but your panic was leaving a pounding headache behind.

“Here,” Miyeon was holding out two small pills to you. Your confusion must have been written all over your face because she shook a small bottle of Tylenol at you. “I used to get panic attacks when I was your age. I always had headaches afterwards.”

You gratefully accepted the pills and the water bottle she produced from her bag. After swallowing them, you closed your eyes, leaning back against the cement walls of the stadium.

“I’m a terrible girlfriend,” you said after a long moment of silence. “I can’t go anywhere without freaking out and being paranoid. I can’t even watch him perform.”

“That’s not true. You and I have gone out in public plenty of times and you’ve been perfectly fine. I’ve seen you relaxed and happy at his shows before, too,” she sat on the ground next to you, taking your hand once again. “You’ve just got your issues. We all have them and we all overcome them in one way or another.”

“Becoming famous as a teenager fucked me up,” your eyes opened and you looked at the smaller woman beside you.

“Yeah,” she admitted. “It probably did. But you’re getting better. Eight months ago, when you came back to Seoul, you couldn’t even walk outside but you overcame that. Remember? Within a month you were going to coffee shops and parks and taking walks with me.”

She gave your hand a reassuring squeeze and the memories brought a smile to your face.

“You’re probably never going to fully get rid of the anxiety, but you’re doing great, you really are. And you have all of us and your friends in the states. We all want you to be happy,” Miyeon leaned her head on your shoulder and you laid yours on hers. “Yunho wants you to be happy. And… Can I be honest?”

“Of course,” her question made you nervous.

“I think you should stop acting. At least for a few years. And I think Yunho agrees with me, too,” she lifted her head to look you in the eyes. “You do so well when you stop and come here to spend time with us, but as soon as you go back to working, you just reset. Its heartbreaking. I know I’m not that old, but you feel like my daughter and it hurts me to see you struggling.”

You nodded, fighting off tears. “You’re right. I- before I came back I told my agent I didn’t want to hear anything about another project for at least a year.”

She was nodding vigorously. “Good. Good.”

With that, you fell into silence, staring across the balcony at the faint lights of the city beyond the massive complex of the venue. You two sat like that before you nodded, mostly to yourself. “I’m ready. Let’s go back and watch our men one last time.”

When you got back, the song had changed to one of their new b-sides. Hosung gave you a worried look but you gave him a smile, sitting next to Yeri after replacing your mask. The five of you finished the show, cheering and screaming and singing along.

For their last costume change, they were decked out in black suits with orange accents that were personalized to each member. You felt your heart stop as Yunho’s top was revealed to be backless during the choreography, showing off your matching tattoo. Screams and cheers echoed from the fans as Yunho gave a satisfied smirk to the crowd.

It was nearly 10 pm when the door opened and a staff member announced it was time to go. All of you quickly gathered your things.

Anticipation was gathering under your skin, knowing you were minutes away from seeing Yunho again. Miyeon’s hand in yours was the only thing keeping you from running ahead of the staff member guiding you to the green room.

Once you had arrived, you refused to sit, instead choosing to pace and keep your gaze locked on the monitors that had a live feed of the performance after you discarded your flannel and purse beside Miyeon on the couch. Doyeon and Yeri were entertaining Hosung, who was almost as excited as you were, despite the fact that he and San (and Wooyoung) had moved into a new apartment a week ago and they saw each other everyday.

When the members froze in their final ending positions and the platform they were on began to descend, you shifted your focus to the door. You waited with bated breath for what felt like ages.

In reality it was only a minute before the door flew open. Yunho barrelled through, yanking his mic off and throwing it at the frantic manager who followed him. You ran at him, jumping into his arms as he placed one hand on your waist, the other on your thigh. With your legs wrapped around his waist, arms around his neck, you kissed him like it was your last chance. It was probably way too intimate for the setting you were in, but neither of you couldn’t help yourselves.

Eventually you had to come up for air and you rested your forehead against his. “I missed you so much, love.”

“I missed you more, baby,” throats cleared behind you and Yunho sighed before he let you down after one more kiss that was a lot more appropriate for a semi-public setting. San and Wooyoung were waiting behind you. Hosung was between them, clinging to San.

“Hug. Now,” he said and you eagerly moved forward to let all three envelop you. As soon as they had, though, you regretted it.

“Ew sweaty!” Struggling against them was futile as San and Wooyoung were both stronger than you and Hosung was just giggling at your struggle. Yunho came to your rescue, pulling you from the group hug to tug you back against him. One of his arms stayed around your waist as you rested against his chest. His free hand took the water bottle that was offered to him.

“Oh so it’s not disgusting when it's him?” San gave you a mockingly offended look and Wooyoung slapped his arm.

“Of course not! She’s probably seen him much sweatier. You should know, you were his roommate!”

You buried your red face in your hands as Yunho chuckled behind you. When he finished drinking, he had slouched over to rest his head on your shoulder, still breathing heavily.

You twisted in his arms to look at him, a hand coming up to cup his face. “You ok, Yun?”

He merely nodded and leaned into your touch, letting his eyes fall closed. You turned back to face the rest of the room, resting your head against his. Hongjoong was smiling like a lovestruck fool as he sat on the couch, letting Miyeon dab his sweat and flutter around him. San and Wooyoung seemed to have lost interest in you and Yunho, instead focusing on eying both each other and Hosung up and down as they all flirted. Doyeon and Yeosang were farther into the room, hiding from the mess of people as they conversed quietly and shared loving looks despite not physically touching each other.

Movement caught your eye as Jongho and Mingi frantically searched for their phones in order to snap a photo of Yeri sitting sideways on Seonghwa’s lap as they made out. Your eyes went wide and you copied Jongho and Mingi, grabbing your own phone to take pictures of the pair. This would make great blackmail later on.

Yunho was stolen from you as one of the stylists insisted the boys change out of their costumes and get their makeup removed so they could go home sooner. He pressed a kiss to your cheek and allowed her to drag him towards one of the changing rooms in the back of the green room. She shoved him inside before continuing the task of collecting the rest of the men.

Yunho emerged with joggers and a sweatshirt on, dodging the makeup artist who had a wipe in his hand. “I can take my own makeup off, don’t worry. Gotta go.”

Before you could even say goodbye to the rest of the members and their partners, he was scooping your things off the couch and dragging you by the wrist into the hallway towards the exit.

“What about-”

“I promise you will see everyone very soon, baby. Let’s go home.”

Without further complaint, you shifted so your hand was in his as the pair of you hurried down the nearly empty hallway.

To your surprise, there wasn't a driver waiting for you. Instead, you were greeted with the sight of Yunho’s sleek black sedan. He led you over the passenger side and just when you thought he was going to open the door for you, he pressed your back into the cold glass. His lips were on yours, your hands knotted in his hoodie and his hands keeping your hips pressed tight to his.

“Yunho,” you broke away gasping for breath. “We’re in public.”

“Fuck,” he growled before kissing you again. This time, when he pulled away he did actually open the door for you. You got in quickly. He made his way around to the driver's side.

Once he was in and the doors were shut, he placed your bag and jacket at your feet before pulling you into a bruising kiss.

He pulled away and without another word, started the car and immediately set off towards your apartment. His large right hand never left your thigh as he drove and at every red light he would kiss you senseless.

Your front door opened as the two of you stumbled inside, still locked together like you had been since the elevator had arrived at your floor. Kicking your shoes off proved to be difficult when your lips were stuck together, but you managed. When you broke for air, his lips went to your neck, sucking love bites underneath your jaw. As much as you loved the sensation, you had too much racing through your mind.

“Wait, Yunho,” he quickly pulled away from you, his hands still on your hips.

“What's wrong baby?”

You felt like you were on fire. Between your nerves about the present you had to give him and the heat pooling between your legs you could hardly think straight. “I-I have something for you.”

You took his hand and led him to your room. He let out a chuckle at the sight of your exploded suitcases from earlier but allowed himself to be sat on the edge of the bed.

You left him there to dig through the smaller of the two suitcases, producing the rectangular white box wrapped with a mint green ribbon. Clutching your prize, you made your way back to him. You stood in front of him, fidgeting with the box for a moment.

“Y/n, what's this?” His hand reached up and you relinquished the box into his hand.

“A… a gift. One I’m really hoping you love,” you knew your nerves were showing on your face as you bit the inside of your cheek.

“I’ll love anything you give me,” he gave you one last smile before turning his attention to the shape in his hands. It looked so much smaller between his fingers than it had in yours.

You held your breath as he untied the ribbon, gently placing it beside him on the bed. Slowly and carefully, he lifted the lid. A million different emotions flashed across his face as he saw the contents. Confusion, shock, disbelief, hesitation, and finally, to your relief, happiness.

“Is this- are you,” he swallowed hard before starting again. “Is this real?

You nodded mutely. A moment passed before his hands were yanking you forward by the back of your thighs, his forehead resting against your sternum and his hand free hand migrating up to rest on your stomach.

“Oh my god,” his voice was quiet but it seemed to wake you from your daze. Carefully one of your hands caressed his head. After resting there for a moment he stood, holding you against him with the pressure of the arm still holding the box. His lips met yours, this time in a slow and loving dance.

“I’m pregnant,” you whispered into his mouth. He held you tighter at that comment. After kissing you for a while, he parted from you, setting the box holding the positive pregnancy test and the ultrasound of the small shape growing inside you beside the ribbon.

“I guess there's no better time to do this than now,” Yunho took a step back, digging in the pocket of his joggers. He produced a small, velvet pouch that he opened as he knelt on one knee.

You couldn’t help the gasp and single tear that escaped you. With his eyes on yours, he pulled a silver band out of the pouch. It was thin and almost fragile looking. Two strands of silver branches cradled two small diamonds that were nested against each other. It was everything you could have hoped for.

“I was planning on stealing your parent’s numbers from your phone tonight to ask them for permission,” his eyes were watery as they looked up at you as if you were his whole world. “And then I wanted to take you somewhere, somewhere we could walk on the beach and be totally alone.”

“It’s not the Victorian era, baby,” his words brought more tears to your eyes. “You don’t need my parents' permission.”

“I know, but I wanted my proposal to be as normal as possible,” he cringed slightly. “I also haven’t met them.”

That hadn’t even crossed your mind lately. Your parents knew you had a boyfriend, but that was about it. You had told them he was famous also and treated you well, but that you couldn’t tell them who he was for the safety and privacy of everyone involved. After a while, they had given up asking, but you knew they were curious.

Oh god. His parents. You hadn’t met them either. The mere thought made you anxious. He had always been hesitant to bring them up around you. You’d heard the rumor that Korean parents didn’t allow their first born sons to marry foreigners plenty of times, but had never allowed yourself to think of it. You had figured that was a bridge you’d cross if the time came but here you were now, staring at that terrifying bridge.

As if he could sense your rising fear, he drew you back into the present with a gentle touch to your hand. The low light of your room illuminated half of his features, giving him both the look of the soft man you loved and the dark, passionate lover who stole your heart.

“We’ll deal with them later. The only people who matter now are you, me, and the little one who’s right here,” his hand not holding the ring traveled to rest over your stomach. “I didn’t have the time to rehearse my speech about how much I love you, but if I promise to perfect it and deliver it later, will you marry me, Y/n L/n?”

Before you even noticed you were moving, you fell to your knees and nodded. “Yes yes yes I will.”

His smile was blinding as he took your left hand, sliding the ring onto your ring finger. When it was settled, he pulled you into him, pressing his lips oh so sweetly to yours.

It wasn’t long until those soft, exploring kisses turned more intense. His hands were clutching you tighter to him. You felt him everywhere, surrounding you and filling your senses with nothing but Jeong Yunho.

When you broke for some much needed air, Yunho’s lips met your neck, leaving sweet, tender kisses instead of the harsh and heated bites and sucks he usually subjected you to. Not that you ever seriously complained, you loved those just as much as he did, but something about his touch now was more intense. Love poured out of his every action and you suspected his gentle movements were due to both the tenderness of the moment and the growing bundle of cells inside you.

As you panted, Yunho worked his way all the way down to the collar of your shirt before coming back up to rest his forehead against yours. “I love you,” he breathed out, eyes closed, panting just as hard as you were.

“Show me,” your words were breathy and pleading. His eyes snapped open, their proximity almost preventing you from seeing the way they darkened slightly, still holding all the love and feelings of before, but now tinged with longing.

“Gladly, baby.”

He laid you back on the plush rug at the foot of your bed. When he eased over you, his mouth returned to yours and your legs wound around his hips. One of his hands laced with your left as the other pushed every so slightly under the hem of the shirt you wore. It didn’t move much farther than your waist but just that small movement seemed to throw gasoline on the fire that was burning in you.

You started whining into every slow and steady pass of his tongue over yours. Your back arched at a particularly aggressive probe of his tongue into your mouth. With your body pressed tighter to his, he broke the kiss with a groan. His head dropped down to rest where your neck met your shoulder.

“I’m trying to be gentle with you, baby. I have to now.”

That drew a little chuckle from you. “I’m not going to break just because I’m pregnant.”

Another groan fell from his lips and his hips jerked into yours. “Say it again.”

“I’m pregnant,” your voice was weaker with need now.

He sat up onto his knees, both hands gripping your hips as you laid before him. “Thought you were on birth control?”

“Seems like you’re unstoppable, Yunho,” you were grinning at him.

His own smile twisted into a smirk. “That I am.”

Soon enough, he had you stripped beneath him, back settled comfortably into the fluffy rug. He had removed his shirt when you whined about him being overdressed but had ignored your demands that he fucked you now. You were more than ready for him. The idea of the man in front of you, your boyfriend, no, fiance, fucking you so good he defeated your birth control was incredibly and twistedly hot.

With your mind lost in fantasy of the way he moved inside you, you missed him repositioning your legs as he laid between them. You only realized where he was when he pressed a kiss to your currently flat stomach. If you looked hard enough you could almost see the small bump. When you had looked up pictures of other people at your stage of pregnancy, most had noticeable bumps. Your doctor had quickly quelled your worries about not showing yet by telling you everyone experienced pregnancy differently and that you would start showing soon enough.

Yunho didn’t seem to mind you weren’t really showing yet as he continued to pepper kisses across your stomach. His lips felt like they were burning in the best way possible. The heat was flowing through you, heading straight to your core.

It was when those plush lips of his connected with your clit that you truly thought you were losing your mind. Thankfully, he had decided that he didn’t care about going slow anymore.

With his lips sucking and tongue giving you small licks, one of his long fingers inched its way into you. The only reason you weren’t thrashing was the broad hand that had settled on your stomach, applying just enough pressure to keep your lower half still. Through the haze that was invading your mind from the pleasure his mouth and fingers were bringing you, you reached one of your hands down to lace your fingers through his that were pressed against you.

He seemed to like this as the pace of both his lips, tongue, and finger sped up. The addition of a second finger into you had you whining. They were tilting up, hitting the perfect spot inside you while his tongue circled your clit.

You could feel yourself rising higher and higher as he continued his work.

It was a combination of his eyes meeting yours and the knowledge that this was the man you would spend the rest of your life with, the man who had knocked you up, the man who cared for you, who broke the rules for you, who always put your wellbeing above his, that broke you. With tears in your eyes and his name on your lips you fell apart, gripping his hand tightly and shaking as he didn’t slow his movements until you were struggling to get away from him.

When he finally stopped his ministrations, you collapsed down, feeling boneless and light. Your reprieve didn’t last long as he was quickling lifting your limp legs over his thighs. With one swift movement, he pushed himself deep inside you, hips against yours. You let out a cry. It felt like you were having another orgasm all over again as your previous one had ended only a moment before.

His body fell over yours. He quickly took ahold of both of your hands, laying them by your head as his fingers threaded through yours. Thankfully, Yunho gave you a few minutes to adjust to his length before moving. In those precious moments of closeness, he kissed you, murmuring about how much he loved you between the slow movements of his mouth against yours.

All it took was one nod from you after he gave a tentative thrust for Yunho to truly begin. This was nothing like your typical reunion sex. Usually it was hot and messy and rough as all the anticipation that had been building during your time apart was thrust to the surface. This sex was loving and soft.

Yunho kept his eyes on yours as every movement of his hips brought new sounds to your lips. Cries of his name were followed by ragged moans and high pitched whines that every slow, calculated, and deep thrust forced out of you.

At some point you had begun crying again from a combination of the heavenly pleasure he so easily brought you and the mounting emotions the evening had thrown at you.

Yunho’s thrusts were starting to lose their calculated movements, falling into a faster, more unstable rhythm. He was nearing his high, but so were you again. When he gave a particularly hard thrust and your walls tightened around him, one of his hands left yours to find your clit. Immediately, you placed your now free hand in his hair, dragging him back to kissing you.

With his lips against yours, his fingers rubbing circles against your most sensitive place, and his body crushing yours into the floor beneath you, you came. Hard. All the air in your lungs rushed out in one final moan. Your head dropped to the floor and your back arched. With your walls spasming around him and the sight of you, cumming beneath him, assaulting his senses, Yunho came with you.

His groans were loud as his body shook, from the orgasm he was racked by and the exhaustion of holding himself up after a four hour long concert. When he collapsed against you, he just barely managed to keep himself from fully crushing you.

The two of you stayed like that for a while, allowing your highs to fully disappear before either of you dared to move. Until he realized with a start, that he was laying on you. More specifically, on your stomach. His sudden panic propelled him off of you.

The suddenness of him pulling out of you, cock long since gone soft, drew shocked groans and gasps from the both of you and he landed on his ass between your still spread legs.

“Yunho? What are you doing?”

“I-I was laying on you, on our baby,” he recovered from his shock and moved himself closer to fret over you, hands meekly darting from one spot to another, all over your body.

You were quickly growing cold from his lack of warmth but the words ‘our baby’ caused your heart to flutter. “I’m ok. We’re ok, I promise.”

That softened him and he gathered you into his arms. With his worry gone, the two of you stayed curled around each other for a while longer, until you noticed his eyes drooping.

“Bed time,” you announced as you peeled yourself away from him. Tentatively, you stood, and when your legs were steady enough, you moved to the bathroom to clean the mess between your legs. After a few years of unprotected sex with Yunho that had started when you’d both gotten tested, shortly after your relationship started and you got on what you had thought was reliable form of birth control, you were able to clean yourself up quickly and efficiently.

You both still needed to shower, but upon your return to the bedroom, you gave up on that. Washing your sheets and taking a long bath tomorrow was favorable to dragging the giant that was dozing on the floor into the bathroom.

Prodding him with your foot quickly caused him to wake up. A smile took over the confusion on his face as you stood, naked over him.

“Come on love,” with a little more poking, you got him into bed. With care, you placed the box containing the ultrasound and positive pregnancy test on the dresser nearby before you crawled in bed and weaseled your way into his arms.

He fell asleep fast, leaving you curled into his chest. Your mind drifted as sleep slowly took over.

You dreamed of a house in the middle of an open field with Yunho chasing a little boy around the halls while you watched with the most content smile on your face that the world had ever seen.