Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

 The room is quiet in the dead of night as Ashton sits facing the old pictures he managed to convince the heroes to let him keep. Blurs of pink and blue and many other colors are together in the photographs. The memories he once had with his family were now reduced to fragile pieces of papery plastic. But, they’re painfully clear to him as he lays back and clutches the photos close as tears spill down his cheeks. He was the only living survivor that wasn't in jail after the league of villains had been killed.

Sure the war outside was over, and Japan was healing and coping with the damage and loss of its dear and near citizens, but the war was far from over for him. The months leading up to the disassembling and killing of the League of Villians were flooding his mind. The fights between the two brothers about right and wrong, the tears shed for the times he was terrified of losing his brother. The night before the final battle. The screaming, the hurtful things the brothers shouted at each other... and the “I hate you” that spilled from Ashton's lips as Tomura slammed the door. the morning before Tomura and the rest of Ashton's family left to fight for the last time there was a somber silence between the brothers. There was barely anything said, a small "Goodbye" but no "Be safe” and not a damn "I'm sorry" the only words spoken between them were half-assed “goodbye…love you…See you later” that came almost silently from the mouth of the once blue-haired boy.

Ashton chokes back a sob as he thinks back on the last conversations he ever had with his big brother, his brain full of the reasons as to why this was all his fault. He hugs the photo “I’m sorry bubby” he whispers to the frame “I shouldn’t have yelled… I’ll say sorry… please come back…” he cries gulping back sobs and wails.

Everything was his fault. He watched his brother die and was dragged to this strange place with people who loathed the very thought of him Tears soak his cheeks turning them red and puffy, the lack of hydration making him dizzy eventually leading to him passing out from exhaustion.

He was forced to be at UA, as some type of “punishment” for him. It felt like punishment for the others in the dorm as well. To them, he was a monster. He carried the same last name as the Bastard who tried to tear Japan to his feet.

Shigaraki the heavy last name that nearly broke the back of the frail and fragile-looking boy.  He has a skinny porcelain body speckled in cinnamony freckles, long slender hands which were barely a threat to the heroes in training. He was nothing more than a 15-year-old boy, who'd been caught up in his brother's antics. His eyes are rounder and pupils wider than his brothers. And in contrast to Tomura's ratty long, white, wavy hair Ashton had soft, short, curlier baby pink hair. Him and his brother were complete opposites, yet his dorm mates carried the same amount of fear-riddled hate.

This led to Ashton rarely leaving his room, he did online schooling anyway, and his dorm had been modified with a bathroom so he only really needed to leave when he needed to eat, and even then that was a rare occasion. Sneaking out became a habit, avoid the cruel, watchful gazes of the trainees, get a snack, and get back to bed. Sometimes he'd stand just at the top of the railing and listen to the chatter. They were fascinating, but if he got caught, it'd grow deathly silent.

Even in avoiding them he'd been forced to face them at times, feeling the buzz of fear in their eyes burning though his skin and melting the bone as he quickly walked from the stairs to the kitchen, wishing he could just teleport instead. Like he could back home...

Yet, this wasn't home to him, and instead of the warm laughter and talking of the league he walked into a cold, empty dorm.

Chapter Text

“Ashton. Up. We have places to be” a voice calls from outside his room. Ashton sits up and rubs his sore eyes then looks around for the voice, “Make sure you shower, and brush your teeth” his eyes lay on the door and he glances at the shadow under it. Its Pro-hero Eraserhead, probably, no one else wore those short tread boots and stood that close to the door. Most people keep back from the door as if it were a hungry lion's cage.

Ashton sits quietly not sure if he should answer, his throat hurts from choking back sobs and he already felt as though he was on the verge of another wave of tears. Maybe staying in bed today would be better than facing anyone in the dorm or any heroes. He stares at his dorm's door, hoping either the hero would drop it and reschedule whatever Ashton was needed for or get frustrated and leave. "Ashton. I'm coming in." the tired-sounding hero called, and the door knob started to turn.

"No!" Ashton rasps choking on spit, "I... I'll get up just give me a minute" he coughs as he slowly  crawls to the end of his bed "Where am I going?" he shouts wrapping his blanket around his shoulder

"I need to come in to tell you, or you come out here. Take a shower then we'll talk." Aizawa huffs as he treads back down the hallway.

Ashton reluctantly gets out of bed and walks to his dresser, grabbing his clothes- his brother's old jacket, his binder, a shirt, and dark gray sweatpants- then walked into his cramped bathroom.
He peels off his clothes after his water is hot, not taking any time to look at his scar-riddled and freckle-covered body.

He gets clean, gets dressed then carefully opens his door. ‘No one’s in the hall… good’ he mumbles as walks down the hallway. It was 9 am on a Saturday. Most of the time everyone was either hanging out together in the commons, already out and about, or still asleep. There was a 33% chance that anyone would be in the commons, and most of the time it was The yellow-haired kid, sometimes the really short one, or the hot-headed kid Tomura kidnapped. He quietly peaks around the corner and Aizawa was standing there.

”Hm didn’t sleep much last night did you?” He says as he looks at Ashton’s face, “Do you want to know where we’re going?”

”yea… where are we going?” He asks softly as he shuffled forward.

“A few places, you have an appointment with a psychiatrist, then therapy, then a routine check-up.” He then adds “All in one place. And it’s not one of the hospitals that Dr. Garaki was associated with.”

Ashton nods, deep down he was thankful that The Commission made sure not to step on those toes, as much as he hated to admit it. “do I need to eat first?” he asks shifting his weight.

”Yes, be quick though, we have 30 minutes before we leave.” he says and nods towards the kitchen “If you need anything cut up call me.”

Ashton hums and then walks down the steps. He felt more at ease hearing Eraserheads boots behind him. The presence of the much taller man felt comforting, much like Kurogiri’s.
That feeling changed when they hit the bottom of the stairs. Everyone, and I mean all 20 students, were hanging out in the commons they turned and forty eyes laid themselves on Ashton.
He felt all forty eyes anxiously watching him as he quickly walked to the kitchen. Every hair on his neck stood as he slinked into the small space, still visible to all.

”Is there a problem?” Aizawa asks the class and the eyeballs leave Ashton’s back and the chatting resumes, just in the form of nervous whispers.

’just a bowl of cereal.. just a bowl of cereal’ he mentally chants as he shakily looks for the cereal.

”Ashton?” Aizawa coughs from behind him “Do you need help?”

” uh yea if you could… help me find the cereal…” he says and looks back at him. Aizawa nods and walks over to a pantry and grabs two boxes “Do you like either of these?”

Ashton nods “Yea I like Honey Nuts,” he says and reaches for it.

“There’s soy or almond milk in the fridge,” he says and absently points to the fridge.

Ashton nods and walks over to the counter to finish his cereal. He anxiously pours his cereal feeling a few more eyes raking over him. He quickly puts away the cereal and Almond milk then looks to Aizawa “Can we go?

“You’re eating in the car?” He asks raising an eyebrow. Ashton nods and shifts on his feet hoping Aizawa will get the gist “Why?”

”uh I just don’t wanna eat in here and uh…” he glances over to the commons. Three pairs of eyes uncomfortably meet his.

”Hm. Fine,” he says then turns to walk to the door “Don’t spill anything.”

Ashton carefully follows him but feels those eyes continue to watch him, observing him in ways that made him want to run and hide.

He and the much taller teacher walk to the school, then inside lead him to the teacher's lounge “Sit here,” he says then points to a red wheelie chair towards the corner of the table “We have to wait for Hazashi then we can leave. In the meantime, you eat your breakfast.”

”I thought I-“

”Talk less, eat more.” He grumbles and waves him off.

Ashton cautiously goes over and sits. Looking around as he does. His senses were on high alert, he could hear every person in the next three rooms. 6 pro heroes, 3 students, 2 retirees, 1 child; he could hear the difference in heartbeat and walking pattern. The pro hero’s hearts sounded healthy, both retirees had more tired-sounding heart beats and the four younger people’s hearts were strong.

One retiree, the child, and one pro hero were currently walking towards the door closest to Aizawa. Their conversation became audiable as they grew closer and Ashton ate his cereal.

His heart picked up as soon as he heard a rather upsettingly familiar voice. All Might’s, a voice that resonated despite his weakened form. A voice Ashton grew to hate and to fear. That voice is what made Sensei violent, that voice is what drove Tomura insane, and that voice is what got Ashton where he is now. That voice could shape Ashton’s future in every way. ”I think he has the potential to be a good kid. He doesn’t seem to be Like Shigaraki.” All might replied to an invisible question.

”Yea, but the kid doesn’t talk to anyone,” Present Mic, most likely, it’s the bouncy voice and heartbeat that follows the tall man, so it can’t really be anyone else. “Hell, I don’t know what the kid even looks like! How do we know he’s not a copy ‘n paste of his older brother.”

”I fink he’s nice.” The child piped in, “He was there when Deku and Lemelion helped me… he told me he’d be back for me” She said and her little heart sped up.

“Okay, okay. Go with Yagi, I have to accompany Shouta” he says then the child and All might go in the opposite direction.

The door swings open “Heyyyyyy” Mic yells and finger guns at Shouta then quickly glanced at Ashton “Is ‘e ready to get this show on the road.”

”I dunno ask him.” Shouta groans and waves towards Ashton, who had looked back to his cereal.

”hey little dude you ready to go?” Mic enthusiastically asks as he leans forward toward Ashton.

Ashton quickly glances at Aizawa and then his cereal  ‘Please just answer for me’ he mentally yells at the tired man.

“Are you going to answer?” Aizawa asks, obviously not being able to read Ashton's mind

”uh…” he glances down at his mostly empty bowl “Yea… we can go” he answers rather timidly. As he glances between the two adults.

”then let’s go!” The electric blonde replies already stepping out of the door

Chapter Text

The ride to the hospital was long. It was hard to find a hospital that had been unknowingly involved with the League and Dr.Ujiko, Seeing as it was deemed unsafe for Ashton to be anywhere near those hospitals. Reasons were kept to themselves but most people were worried about two things; could he turn into a Nomu? Was he dangerous like his brother?

The answer was no, realistically to both. Unless he was returned to the chemical vats and pumped full of more quirks, animal DNA, and the chemicals that make Nomus, he could turn fully into one. But that didn’t stop people from being cautious and scared. Even medical professionals were scared of him. Ashton was placed in a larger room for his appointments. The doctors came in with a pro hero, outside, guarding the door; even though Aizawa was in the room through the whole thing. As if Ashton could do any harm.

The psychiatrist, Dr. Runika sat as far away from him as possible, visibly anxious to be around the frail boy. Her voice stayed strong but her eyes flickered between her watch and door, praying for her time around the ‘villain’ to be over as soon as possible. While Ashton cautiously talked to her about the more mental side of things, he watched her behavior enterally feeling guilty for talking to her about his life.

Dr. Runika pulled Aizawa outside and talked to him then poked her head in and said “Remmy will be in soon.” Then dismissed herself as quickly as possible.

Aizawa saunters in and takes his place  next to Ashton, “You’ll be starting on meds and puberty blockers in the morning.” He informs him quietly looking at him, “How are you feeling so far?”

Ashton silently looks up, studying Aizawa's face. His question was genuine, and his tired face showed it. His dark worried eyes raked over Ashton’s small face for any answers, his usual scowl was softer, and his hair politely framed his face, as if it was also waiting for Ashton to answer.  “Uhm…” Ashton’s brow furrows a little deciding on rather or not to trust the adult “I feel kinda guilty” he whispers, hoping Eraserhead didn't hear him.

”Why?” Aizawa asks shifting his weight so he’s facing Ashton “You have nothing to feel guilty about.”

”The doctor lady seemed scared, they have to guard the door, you have to be here? I have a lot to feel guilty about. You had to drive super far so I’d be able to even have an appointment.” He replies, fidgeting with the bottom of his shirt. 'I caused most of this mess, I'm the reason Japan was at war, I'm the reason Dr. Whats-his-nuts kept experimenting with missing people and children.'

”None of that’s  your fault, Ashton.” Aizawa states rather sternly. “You’re a child. Nothing your brother, all for one, or anyone else in the league did is your fault. You have nothing to feel guilty about,” He says and settles a hand on Ashton’s shoulder “Those adults shouldn't be afraid of you.” The word adult carried a heavy venom, strong enough to kill an elephant.

Yet it was comforting to hear. ’You’re a child… nothing… is your fault’ The words carry through Ashton’s body and settle in his bones, yet despite the warm feeling the chill of guilt still stays. He looks up to Aizawa who ruffles his hair gently “Just breathe, you’re doing great.” He mutters softly

A gentle rapping comes from the door followed by a soft click and the quiet squeaking of the door opening.

a bearded face peeks in “Hello.” His warm voice calls opening the door and walking in. The guy stood over Aizawa by nearly 30 centimeters, he was beefy and had darker-toned skin and Whispy black hair that was slicked back. He wore a white button-up with a neon swirl tie, he had some tan khaki pants, and a pair of socks with donuts that poked out the bottom of his pants. He Smiles softly at Ashton "Hello Young man" He says politely and steps in "I'm Remmy" He greeted "Would you like to come down to my office?"

Ashton looks up at Aizawa, who gives Remmy an off look "Why does he need to move there?" he questions.

"Ah, It's just more comfortable there, rather than a big empty white room. And less bright" he says softly with a smile "Would you like to?

Aizawa looks back at Ashton and Ashton meets his gaze with a small nod. "yea... I could use a stretch anyway..." He stands avoiding Remmy's eyes

"right this way!" he says and opens the door. "Down the hall to the elevator."

Ashton nods again stepping out into the lobby-like area that they were in. The walls were a blue-washed white, they practically glowed in the overhead lights. He walks down to the elevator, Aizawa close behind him "Ashton. If you feel threatened at all you just call for me okay?" he says peering back at Remmy, who was chatting with one of the heroes "I didn't know we'd be moving," he adds looking back to Ashton, studying his face for something.

Ashton glances over to Remmy who was jogging to catch up “Alrighty, I got the okay to move to my office.” He says and pushes the button for the elevator he looks down at Ashton “I have just some fairy lights on, is that alright?” He asks and gently smiles, patiently waiting for an answer.

‘Why would my opinion even matter?’ He shrugs and looks down ‘There’s no way this guy actually gives a shit…’

Remmy Clears his throat as steps into the elevator “I'll keep them on but let me know if you want to change it.” He says and waves them in. “I set up my office, I’ve got a soft rug, a nice couch, fidgets,” he enthusiastically informs Ashton “I think you’ll like it,” he says and pats his back gently.

Ashton winces at the sudden contact and moves a little further away from the tall man "Please don't" he mumbles barely audible.

The ride to the floor below was short but awkward, Ashton could feel both adults' eyes on him, crawling like beetles over his skin and burning his flesh with every step. He wanted the ride to be over. He can't stand people staring at him, or even looking in his direction. It feels like they can see every ridge and scar, every memory and nightmare. As if they can see into his mind.

As soon as the elevator door opened Ashton stepped out and to the side, waiting for the other two to step out, feeling Remmy's laser focus on the scar on Ashton's right cheek.

"This way," Remmy calls and leads the duo down a hall to a sliding door. He opens it up to reveal a dimly lit room. Lit by yellowish fairy lights and a standing lamp in the corner, Remmy's office was comfortable looking. It had wooden floors that were mostly covered by a plush white carpet, his desk was turned sideways and he sat on a comfortable-looking white chair. Across from the desk was a couch, sort of blue in color with puffy cushions. The couch matched the wall behind it, it was the same blue color. Beside the couch sat a shelf filled with drawers most likely full of patient files and the earlier mentioned fidget toys, "Welcome, come on in"