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Chapter Text

I locked my gaze on the dull grey wall of the med bay to distract myself from the pain. My crushed hand sat limp at my side as the medic prepared the syringe. She eyed me suspiciously when I told her that I had gotten my hand caught somewhere in an engine I was working on. Of course, today would be the fifth time that I supposedly made that mistake. Five times I had been caught stealing by a damned stormtrooper, and each time they saw fit to punish me by crippling my hand. I couldn’t even be sure how many times I’d avoided being caught.

As the medicine took effect, my pain subsided into a dull ache. I tentatively wriggled each of my fingers. Just like new.

“Thank you so much, I owe you big time.”

“Don’t worry, you can expect to hear from me next time one of our medic transports is down.”

“Of course.” I gave her a smile as I left the med bay, heading down the hall towards an exit. Outside the day was bright, and I relished the last few moments of cool air before I stepped into the heat of Pasaana.

In the distance I saw a crowd gathering at the center of the village, and as I started making my way closer, I made out the red and black of the First Order banners. Great, another parade. It had to be the second one in the month, the Resistance must have had their roots planted here if the First Order still thought the parades were necessary.

As I reached the edge of the crowd, I began scoping out targets. Some of the more well-off merchants were among the crowd, and just one piece of jewelry from them could feed me for a week. I pulled my hood up to cover my face as I weaved in and out of the crowd searching for anything shiny I could easily make away with. I found my prize on the wrist of an older man with his hands gently clasped at the back of his waist. He was completely fixated on the display of power happening in front of him, so much so that he didn’t notice a thing when my hand dipped down and undid the clasp of the timepiece. I bent down to catch it before it fell to the ground and then continued on my way, wanting to put as much distance between me and the man before he realized something of his was missing. Just as I slipped it into a concealed pocket on my robes, a stormtrooper called after me.

“Hey, you!”

I immediately quickened my pace, but I had to resist the urge to outright bolt from the crowd. To run would have only drawn attention to myself. Instead, I fell in with the crowd, following the direction of those who were beginning to head home. A quick glance behind revealed that the stormtrooper was still on my tail, and his baton was at the ready.

I knew the town like the back of my hand. Years of sneaking around to steal and then sell my stolen wares had given me knowledge of every back street and alleyway imaginable. One of them was coming up to my left. I very slowly made the turn, baiting the stormtrooper to follow. Once I cleared the corner, I burst into a sprint and quickly made a right turn onto the next street. By the time the stormtrooper made it to the alleyway he had no way to know which way I ran, and his confusion bought me a few much-needed extra seconds.

Another alleyway neared on my right. As I made the turn, I glanced behind myself to find that I had lost the stormtrooper, and I immediately ran into something. No. Someone.

The impact knocked me right on my ass, and I looked up to find Kylo Ren standing before me, completely unfazed. From the ground he looked like a giant, with broad shoulders rising and falling as he breathed. His arms were crossed over his chest and his gaze was locked above me. At least I think it was. That helmet of his made it so difficult to tell where he was really looking.

I brought myself to my feet and dusted myself off as best as I could, hoping that if I made one hell of an apology for running into him, he wouldn’t end my life right then and there in that alleyway. I glanced down just to check if his famed lightsaber was there, and it was.

Footsteps grew louder behind me, and then the stormtrooper appeared, panting from the chase.

“Oh,” he exclaimed in between gasps of air, “you caught her.”

Kylo Ren said nothing as he lifted his gloved hand. As his hand lifted, so did the stormtrooper. His feet thrashed for a few moments before going limp, and then with a wave of Kylo Ren’s hand the stormtrooper was tossed aside. Then his attention shifted to me.

Without intending to I began to inch back, away from the monster that was before me. He must have sensed my unease, because he very slowly and deliberately removed his helmet as if any sudden movements might’ve spooked me.

I paused and looked up at Kylo Ren. He was a man, not some sort of grotesque monster like rumors claimed. He easily stood over me, and his dark eyes looked me up and down. His face was stagnant, like a statue carved from stone. No matter how long I stared I couldn’t find a hint of emotion. If it weren’t for the rage he just took out on that storm trooper I would have thought that Kylo Ren didn’t have emotions at all. He had at least one that I knew of.

He placed the helmet back on his head before reaching toward me, and although I instinctively jumped back a step, he still caught one of my wrists in his hand. His grip was firm, but nowhere near firm enough to have been painful.

“You’re coming with me.” He ordered as he led me by the wrist through alleyways I usually took when I needed to move about unseen. Eventually we reached the opposite edge of town, and there in the desert was his shuttle. Stormtroopers flanked the entrance ramp, and as Kylo Ren took me aboard they fell in step behind us. If the stormtroopers were at all curious about why their commander had decided to take me back as a souvenir of his trip to Pasaana, they said nothing of it.

Chapter Text

Kylo Ren said nothing as he pushed me into the seat next to his inside the command shuttle. I watched in awe as he swiftly flipped switches and pressed buttons, preparing for takeoff.

I glanced from his seat to mine, and in a split second realized that would make mine a copilot seat. Not very fitting for a prisoner, if that’s what I was. I didn’t even have anything binding my hands together, and if I wanted to, I could just reach forward and take over the controls, not that I even knew how to fly something this complex.

“You wouldn’t dare do that.” Kylo Ren said without turning his attention away from the shuttle controls.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t have to. Don’t touch any of these controls. Ever.” With that, I felt slight pressure clamp down over my wrists, as if they had been fixed to the arm rests of my seat. I looked down to find nothing there, but any efforts to move my arms were futile. Of course, he was using the Force to restrain me.

As the shuttle lifted off the ground, I took one last look out the window at my home planet. I knew I would never return, even if I escaped. There were no friends and no family to return to on Pasaana, and should I escape, it would be the first place Kylo Ren searched.

The view of my home planet was replaced with the endless expanse of space, and with the flick of another switch the shuttle shifted into overdrive. The speed pressed me further back into my seat than I thought possible, and just as it started to become too uncomfortable to bear it was over.

We approached an icy planet. From a distance it appeared to be encircled by a stripe, but as the shuttle traveled closer, I saw that it was a massive weapon that was built into the planet.

“Command shuttle approaching Starkiller base, requesting dockage in hanger 217.” Kylo Ren spoke into a comms device, and a voice replied with “Yes, Commander.”

Kylo Ren docked the shuttle in the hangar, and as soon as he opened the exit hatch the stormtroopers marched out, leaving me and Kylo Ren alone. I attempted to get up from my seat, but he was still using the Force to hold me in place.

“Not yet.” He closed the hatch before removing his helmet. “I will allow you to get up from this seat. When I do, you will do exactly as I say y/n.” His voice sounded much different when he spoke without the helmet. I nodded in affirmation, and he released the invisible grip he had on my wrists.

He remained in his seat, and those dark eyes looked me up and down. His lips pressed into a thin line when he got to my clothes. They were always somewhat dusty, just one of the many pleasures of living in the desert, but today they had accumulated more dirt and grime than usual thanks to my chase through town.

“Those won’t do.”

“Well, you didn’t exactly give me time to pack a spare set of clothes before you kidnapped me.” I instantly regretted my words when I remembered the extremely deadly weapon he had on his belt.

“I’m not going to use my saber on someone as pathetic as you, so quit worrying about that and start worrying about how disgusting you look.” He spat out.

When he stood up from his seat, he towered over me. Had he continued to stand there I would have been tempted to shrink back into my seat, but he crossed to the other side of the shuttle and started rooting through storage built into the walls, muttering something that sounded like “it should be here.”

Eventually he found what he was looking for, a lump of black fabric. He strode back over to me and shoved the fabric into my arms. As I unfolded the cloth it became apparent that these were his robes. Not completely identical to the all-black ensemble he was wearing, but another monochrome iteration of it.

“These won’t fit me.” I stated, holding the robes out at arm’s length to return to him.

“I don’t care, put them on.” He crossed his arms and remained in place, obviously unwilling to make any compromise regarding my wardrobe. I had no choice.

“Any chance you could, uh,” I motioned with one finger for him to turn around. I could have sworn I saw a flash of pink creep into his cheeks as he realized why I needed privacy, but he turned around so quickly afterwards that it was hard to tell.

I let my own clothes fall into a pile on the floor and began dressing myself in Kylo Ren’s clothes. I didn’t even bother with the trousers; they would only fall back down to my ankles as soon as I put them on, and his tunic reached all the way down to my knees anyways. The cape was far too wide for my frame, so instead I tied it tightly around my waist, letting the length of the fabric fall behind me and around my legs. When I looked at my faint reflection in the window of the shuttle, I could see that the cape did well to hide the fact that his tunic was many sizes too big for me.

“Done.” I announced. Kylo Ren turned to face me again, and I could tell from the quizzical look that overtook him that he did not expect me to wear his clothes as incorrectly as I did. Nonetheless, his response was “Good.”

He waved a hand in front of my face, then proceeded with “You will walk by my side out of this ship and then continue to walk by my side until we reach my quarters. While by my side you will stare straight ahead regardless of what other people say or do.”

Overtaken by a strange urge to do exactly as he said, I nodded in agreement and entered a nearly trance-like state. When my feet moved, it was as if they were being moved by someone else and I was no more than a puppet held up by strings. I fell into place at Kylo Ren’s side, and though I couldn’t turn my head to look at him there was an audible click as he placed his helmet back on his head.

The exit hatch opened once again, and we strode out together. In my peripheral vision I saw stormtroopers staring, but I paid them no mind even though I desperately wanted to stare back. As we walked further and further into Starkiller base we encountered people less and less. Eventually the corridors were empty save for us, and when I saw the large pair of metal sliding doors at the end of a corridor, I knew we were almost there. He took us through those doors, and I felt a rush of relief as I regained control of my own movements.

“I didn’t know the First Order has a habit of keeping prisoners in the commander’s private quarters?” I stared at him, wishing I could see through that helmet to have an idea of what he could possibly be thinking. Once again, it was like he could hear my thoughts because he removed his helmet to stare right back at me.

“Who ever said you’re a prisoner?” He gave me a smirk.

“Hm, well I don’t know. Maybe it’s the fact that I committed a crime, got chased, and then taken here against my will? Sounds very prisoner-y to me.” I threw my hands in the air in frustration.

“If anything, I’d say you are a guest of honor, y/n. I am going to make myself emperor, and any good emperor needs an empress. That is where you come in.”

“What?” I gasped.

“You heard what I said. When the time comes you will be my bride, whether you like it or not.”

“Why me?”

“I have my reasons. Among them, you have nobody on Pasaana who could possibly notice your disappearance. It’s, “ he struggled to find the right word for a moment, “convenient.”

“And if I refuse?” I already knew that he would carry out this plan with or without my permission, but I had to know what was at stake here. “As you mentioned it’s not like I have any family or friends for you to torture and kill.”

“Oh, you won’t refuse.” He stared at me intently, and the moment in which he hypnotized me in the shuttle replayed in my mind, but this time I was viewing it from his point of view and I saw my own eyes glaze over in submission to his commands. “See?”

“Get out of my head!” I shook my head from side to side, as if that could shake out his presence.

“Do as I say and I won’t have to, how’s that sound for a deal?”

“Well now that we’ve established that I have no say in this, can you take me to my room?”

“What?” He chuckled.

“My room. Where is it?” I demanded.

“You’re in it. This is our room for the time being.”

Chapter Text

Our room. That’s what he said. One room for the both of us. A peek behind his broad frame revealed there to be just one very large bed in the center of the room. Shit.

“I’m not sleeping with you.”

“I wasn’t asking you to. The bed is all yours.”

I raised my eyebrows at him. “I can’t imagine that commander and apparently-soon-to-be-emperor Kylo Ren is going to willingly sleep on the floor.”

“You’re right, I’m not.” He gestured towards a smaller door on the opposite side of the room. “I had a cot put in there for myself. I’ll be in there if you need me, get some rest.” Kylo Ren disappeared into the other room, leaving me alone.

I untied the impromptu cape skirt and left it on the floor, opting to sleep in the tunic just in case Kylo Ren decides to wake me up.

By the time morning came, I had barely slept. I spent most of the night sitting upright in the bed, watching the door that he was behind just in case it opened.

Eventually it did, and Kylo Ren appeared in the doorway looking well-rested. His robes were replaced by a simple set of long black pants and a black shirt with long sleeves. His dark hair was sticking up in odd spots, and a yawn escaped his mouth as he stretched his long arms above his head.

“Good morning, y/n.”

I made no response.

“Not such a good morning then.”

Kylo ren disappeared into another door, which I realized was a bathroom once I heard running water. Kylo Ren’s shower was quick, barely a few minutes had passed before he emerged from the bathroom with his hair plastered to his head and a black towel was tied around his waist. Of course, he had black towels too.

I couldn’t help but stare at his torso, the lines of his muscles moving slightly as he reached into a closet. No doubt he was looking for yet another one of his monochrome getups. My eyes tracked down to his abdomen, where the towel hung low on his waist was leaving very little to the imagination. I turned away, suddenly finding the blank walls of Kylo Ren’s bedroom much more interesting.

“Too scared to imagine me naked, y/n?” He mused.

“Fuck you.”

“Oh, I’m sure you want to.”

“I will never want you.” I spat.

“If you say so.” When he walked towards the bed he was fully dressed. “Someone will be coming by shortly to fit you for some clothes. Wait here.” He gave no further explanation or instruction before turning and walking out of his room into the corridor. The doors shut behind him, and I was alone.

I placed one foot then another on the floor, unnecessarily cautious to not make a sound as I tiptoed over to the door leading to the corridor. There was no handle or keypad of any sort for me to even try letting myself out. Even if there was, Kylo Ren surely locked the door behind him to prevent any escape attempts. I was trapped.

With nowhere to go and nothing to do, I decided to explore Kylo Ren’s quarters. The door to the bathroom was unlocked, and inside there was a large shower and tub. The door to the bathroom had a lock on the inside, so I clicked it shut and turned on the water in the shower. I waited until the water was scalding hot before I undressed and stepped in.

The warmth was beyond amazing. I took my time scrubbing the dirt from myself, allowing myself to forget where I was and why. Once I was spotless, I allowed myself to sit down under the running water, enjoying the feeling of the water beating against my skin. I was unsure just how much time had passed when the water eventually began to run cold, and I had no choice but to get out or freeze to death.

I wrapped myself in one of the black towels that was folded neatly on a shelf, and was surprised by just how soft and fluffy it was considering who it belonged to. I unlocked the door and stepped back into the bedroom and was immediately taken aback by the stranger perched on the end of the bed.

She wore a black military uniform, but I was unsure what any of the insignia meant. When she saw me, she immediately shot up to a standing position, appearing afraid to have been caught sitting down.

“Commander Ren sent me to take your measurements ma’am.” She reached into a pocket on her pants and presented a measuring tape.

I wanted nothing more than to send her away. To allow myself to be dressed by him and his people would only be acceptance of my fate, but my only other option was to continue wearing his ill-fitting clothes.

“Oh, of course. Should I-“ I trailed off, unsure if I was supposed to be dressed or if she would be measuring against my bare skin.

“I will need you to remove the towel, yes.” She offered an apologetic smile, surely sensing my unease. “Don’t worry I work quickly; this will only take a moment.”

I unwrapped the towel from myself and set it on the bed, and the cold air bit my skin. I flushed with embarrassment at how exposed I was in front of this stranger as she wrapped the tape measure around me here and there. She was careful to make the least amount of contact with my skin that she possibly could, especially when measuring my chest and hips.

“Almost done, just turn and face the other way for me while I grab the last few measurements.”

I did as she said and turned around so that I was now facing the entrance to Kylo Ren’s quarters. Just as she held the tape measure up against the inner length of my leg, the doors opened. Kylo Ren was there in the open doorway, holding a plate of food with both hands. His eyes met mine, and I watched the plate fall and shatter on the floor in front of him as his stony face turned beet red. The door shut instantly, and the sound of him stomping away echoed as it grew more distant.

“Well, looks like someone saw more than he was ready to see.” The woman chuckled to herself as she scribbled down all the measurements on a notepad before tucking it away in a pocket. “That’s all, you can cover yourself back up now and I’ll have some things that fit you dropped off soon.”

I wrapped the towel around myself again as tightly as I could before watching her leave. I almost let out a small laugh as she had to take a big step over the mess of food and plate shards that Kylo Ren made. What a child, I thought to myself. A familiar voice responded from within my own head, “Make sure you are decent when I return in five minutes.”

Chapter Text

“Decent?” I muttered to myself. “Oh I’ll show him decent.” I walked over to the doorway and picked of a sizeable piece of broken plate, turning it over in my hand. The edge was razor sharp. Perfect. I took a seat at the foot of the bed, carefully placing the plate shard behind myself within reach. My hair was still damp from my shower, so I decided to spend the next five minutes combing through it with my fingers and securing it in a braid down the back of my head.

Kylo Ren was nothing if not punctual, because he returned just as it seemed that five minutes had passed. As he entered the room, he was careful to look at anything but me, choosing to stare at the walls when he spoke.

“Were your measurements taken?”

“No, I just decided to let a stranger hold a tape measure against my naked body for fun.” I said dryly.

“Very funny. I thought I told you to be decent when I returned, but you’re still not dressed.” He vaguely gestured towards my towel, still not willing to look directly at me.

“I still don’t have clothes.”

“You could have borrowed some of mine.” He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose before walking over to the closet.

I got up from the bed and followed him, clutching the plate shard behind my back. His back was turned to me as he searched the closet, and I took the opportunity to raise the plate shard over my head and sink it into his back with all my might. Just as the tip of the broken edge touched him, my arm froze in place along with the rest of my body. Kylo Ren turned around and gently plucked the piece of plate from my immobile hand, looking it over.

“Impressive.” he said quietly, as if to himself. “Nobody has ever attacked me with a plate before. Very creative of you.” He threw the shard against the wall, and it shattered into a million smaller pieces, littering the floor. He glared at me then and said, “Don’t you fucking dare to do that ever again.”

Control returned to my body. I staggered back a few steps and was met with pricks of pain at the soles of my feet, plate shards making their home in my flesh. Fuck. Kylo Ren’s formidable glare disappeared, and his brows pushed together in worry. He glanced back and forth between the pile of broken glass that I stood on and his own hands.

“Y/n I-“ he started. “Just, don’t move.”

“I wasn’t planning on it.” I gritted out. The shards crunched into dust under his heavy boots as he approached me. With one swift move he scooped me up, and suddenly my face was mere inches away from his as he carried me to the bed. His eyes met mine, and in that moment, they almost seemed more hazel than black. Maybe they had been that color the whole time, I wasn’t sure. He set me down gently, and then kneeled in front of me to look at my bloodied feet. I tried to pull my feet away from him, but he put a hand around each ankle to stop me.

“We both know I can make you sit still, but don’t make me do this the hard way. Please.”

“Fine.” I relaxed my legs and allowed him to continue.

“Good girl.” He said as he began pulling the small shards from my feet. I winced in pain, and he paused. “Do you want me to stop?”

“No, get the rest out.” I managed.

“You don’t have to pretend to be strong for me, you know.”

“I’m not.”

“If you insist.” He continued to remove the shards from my feet, occasionally glancing up at me with a worried look.

When he was done there was a small pile of blood-covered shards on the floor and his hands were covered in my blood. I tried to stand up so I could walk to the bathroom and wash the blood off myself, but he stopped me.

“You can’t walk on those y/n.”

“I need to wash the blood off.” I explained.

Without another word he scooped me up in his arms again, taking me to the bathroom. He sat me down on the edge of the tub, then started running the faucet. He rinsed the blood from his hands under the tap, letting it flow down the drain. When the water ran clear again, he grabbed one of my feet and extended it towards the tap. The cool water stung at first but quickly became soothing.          

He was still holding onto my foot when I extended the other one towards the water, hoping to ease the rest of my pain. I lost my balance and started teetering backwards off the edge of the tub, so I grabbed the closest thing I could which just so happened to be the front of Kylo Ren’s tunic. My last-ditch effort to not fall was useless, and I only ended up taking him down with me.

I braced myself, but the impact of tile against the back of my head never came. I opened my eyes to find Kylo Ren crouched over me, my grip still tight on his tunic. One of his arms was wrapped around me, cradling my head and neck. His other arm was planted on the ground next to me, holding both of us up.

Cold air passed over my breasts, and I looked down to find that during the fall my towel had come undone, leaving me completely exposed. Kylo Ren noticed my nakedness just as I did, and it was enough for him to immediately retract his arm and let my head drop a few inches to the floor.

“Ow.” I winced and reached up to rub my head.

Kylo Ren left the bathroom, leaving the door open behind him. I sat up on the floor and did my best to cover up with my towel. Kylo Ren didn’t return to the bathroom; instead choosing to blindly reach an arm through the doorway to toss a shirt at me.

“Put this on.” He said from the bedroom before shutting the door to the bathroom.

The shirt he gave me looked like the one he was wearing this morning when he woke up, plain black with long sleeves. I slipped it on over my head, and I had to roll the sleeves up multiple times in order to see my hands. When I stood up, the hem of the shirt fell about halfway between my ass and my knees.

Despite the pain in my feet, I hobbled out to the bedroom and made my way straight to the bed to take a seat. I looked around for Kylo Ren, and found him at the entrance, speaking to the woman who took my measurements earlier.

“The special items won’t be ready today, but here’s what I have in her size for now.” She said as she handed him a stack of neatly folded clothes with a pair of boots.

“Bring the rest to me as soon as it is complete.”

“Yes sir.” The door shut on her, and Kylo Ren turned around to find me on the bed.

“How did you-“ He looked from the bathroom door to the bed.

“I walked.”

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

“I’m capable of walking.” I crossed my arms.

“I can’t believe I chose the stubbornest girl in the galaxy to be my bride.” He mumbled.

“Serves you right for kidnapping people.”

“Oh great, now I’m being lectured on morals by a thief. Remind me again why you were running when I found you?”

“How about you remind me again why your first instinct on seeing a thief evading capture was to take her as a bride.” I raised an eyebrow.

“You don’t need to know my reasons. Now get dressed.” He set the pile down on the bed next to me, and then retreated into the room where he sleeps. From behind the closed door he shouted, “Tell me when you are dressed, I’m taking you to a medic.”

I sorted through the pile of clothes and decided on a pair of black slacks with a matching jacket. It looked similar to the uniform the woman was wearing, but slightly less militaristic. I skipped on the boots, instead choosing to remain barefoot. Even if I managed to get them on there was no way he would allow me to walk after throwing a fit over me taking a few steps.

“I’m dressed.” I called out.

He looked me over when he came out and gave a nod of approval, clearly satisfied with what the woman had picked out for me.

“Hold onto the boots, you might be able to put them on after the medic sees you.” I did as he said, and then once again I was in Kylo Ren’s arms.

Chapter Text

Kylo Ren carried me all the way to the medical clinic on Starkiller base. I craned my neck at first, attempting to see what hallways lead where, but it was pointless. Every hallway appeared the same. Starkiller base might as well have been a labyrinth; I would get nowhere without someone to lead the way.

Once I gave up on my attempt to map out Starkiller base in my mind, I found myself staring up at Kylo Ren. From below I could see his nostrils flare slightly as he inhaled and exhaled, but otherwise his face was completely immobile. The hard-set line of his jaw only added to his statuesque demeanor.  His eyes were locked forward as he walked, the steady rhythm of his feet gently rocking me up and down in his arms. My sleepless night caught up to me, and I allowed myself to doze off in Kylo Ren’s arms.

I awoke to a bright light shining overhead, and I lifted my head to find myself in a cot. Everything in the room was a sterile shade of white, making Kylo Ren appear out of place when I noticed him sitting in a chair next to me. Other cots lined the walls, but we were alone.

“Finally, you’re awake.”

“How long did I sleep?”

“Not long,” he reassured me, “but you slept so deeply that you didn’t even wake up during any of the treatments.” I pulled back the thin blanket that was covering myself to look at my feet. They were bound tightly with bandages, but all the pain was gone. Kylo Ren gestured towards the bandages, “Those need to stay on for another day but you can walk now, if you want.”

“The last thing I want is you carrying me around like some child.”

“On second thought, that was the calmest you’ve been so far. Maybe I should carry you around everywhere.” A smirk played on his lips, but it was soon replaced with feigned offense when I flipped him off. “Wow,” he took on a sardonic tone,” my own wife hates me.”

“Fiancé.” I retorted.

“Oh, of course.” He rolled his eyes and stood up. “In any case, we should get going.”

I found my boots on the floor next to the bed and started unlacing them, struggling to do so because the new laces and leather were so stiff. Kylo Ren knelt in front of me, taking the boots from my hands. His hands were large, but somehow his fingers were nimble and swift in undoing the lacing.

“I’ll do the rest.” I tried to take the boots back from him, but he wouldn’t release them.

“Just let me.” He placed a boot on one foot then the other, then began tightening the laces. He didn’t tighten them all the way. The boots fit snugly, but if I had put them on myself, I would have tightened the laces much more. He must have been worried that pulling the laces any tighter would elicit pain even though my pain was completely resolved.

I stood up and shifted my weight from one foot to the other to get a feel for the new boots. I was surprised by how comfortable they were, especially for new boots that hadn’t been broken in yet.

“Are you ready?” He asked.

“Yeah, just hypnotize me already so we can go back.”

“I’m not doing that?”

“What?”

“Can you not handle walking next to me without being forced to do so?”
“I-“ I wasn’t sure how to answer.

“Just take my arm.” He held a bent arm towards me, and I reluctantly hooked my arm around his. “Good, now just keep that up while we walk and follow my lead.”

I did as he said, but this time of my own volition, as he led me out of the clinic. I expected that I’d need to walk briskly to keep up with him, but he shortened his strides to match my pace. Stormtroopers and people in First Order uniforms walking in the halls parted to avoid us, and I could have sworn a few of them turned to walk back the way they came rather than walk near us.

One person, however, seemed completely unfazed by Kylo Ren’s presence. Rather than turning the other way or pretending to be busy he marched right up to Kylo Ren. He opened his mouth to speak, but Kylo Ren spoke first.

“What do you want general Hux?”

“Supreme leader Snoke wanted to see both of us, but only I showed up.” He spoke calmly, but the smoldering look in his icy blue eyes looked anything but calm. He was livid.

“I had more pressing matters to attend to.” Kylo Ren shifted his arm, pulling me closer towards him.

It was as if the general hadn’t noticed me standing right in front of him until that moment. His stare broke away from Kylo Ren, and as he looked me up and down a sneer formed on his thin lips. His mouth opened, and I thought he was going to say something, but he began gasping for air. His hands reached up to clutch at his neck, trying to pry off the invisible hand that was cutting off his air supply. Though his skin was alabaster to begin with, it somehow turned paler, and his blue eyes slowly rolled back in his head.

I turned my head to the side where Kylo Ren stood. His arm was reaching out towards the general and his hand in a choking position. I gently squeezed the arm I was holding onto, and he released the grip on general Hux’s windpipe. General Hux fell to the floor in front of us, his chest heaving as he took ragged breaths.

Hux looked up at both of us with disdain, and in that moment Kylo Ren grabbed me by the shoulders and crushed his lips against mine. I felt his anger manifesting in the kiss, and my wide eyes met his before he pulled away. He took my arm again, leading me away from the general still gasping on the floor. Kylo Ren said nothing until we were alone in his quarters.

“He deserved that, by the way.” He must have seen the concern painted on my face.

“He didn’t even say anything. Your attitude is far worse, but nobody does anything about that.”

“He didn’t have to say anything! I saw the way he was looking at you, and I could feel the word ‘whore’ forming in his mind.”

“I don’t need you protecting my dignity!” I yelled back at him.

“Yes you do.” He growled. “You need me more than you think. I am the only one who can protect you.” He turned and stormed off into the room with his cot. There was a beat of silence followed by loud banging and the screeching of metal.

“What the fuck are you doing in there?” I called as I pounded my fist on the door. It slid open after a few seconds, and Kylo Ren was standing in the center of the wreckage of his room. The walls were slashed and scorched, no doubt the work of the light saber he was still clutching in one hand. The blade bathed the room in red light, and it crackled faintly. He looked like a cornered beast.

“Leave.” He spat out.

“No.” To my surprise, my voice didn’t waver even though I was scared beyond belief. I had to tame the beast before he turned on me.

“Please.” When his brown eyes met mine, they were filled with pain and sorrow. I put one foot forward, then another. He inched away at my approach. “Don’t come any closer y/n.” His voice was trembling.

“You’re not going to hurt me, but it might help if you put the blade away.” With a click the crimson blade retracted, leaving us in darkness.

“I’m scared.” He breathed out.

“I can’t hurt you even if I wanted to. I already tried, remember?” I offered a smile, even though he probably couldn’t see it.

“I’m scared of myself.” He dropped to his knees and buried his head in his hands, muffled sobs escaping him. “All I do is hurt and kill, that’s all I know.”

I crouched down next to him and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. He shuddered at the touch at first, but quickly leaned into an embrace. Hot tears fell onto my neck where he buried his face, but eventually they stopped pouring. I pulled back to ask him if he was okay, but he was asleep.

His cot in the corner was slashed in two, and there was too much debris scattering the room for him to sleep on the floor. The only bed left was mine, which was technically his to begin with.

He was too large for me to lift, so I instead decided to drag him towards the bed. Miraculously he didn’t wake up. He must have really tired himself out while he was destroying the other room. I dragged him right up to the edge of the bed, and then used up the rest of my strength pulling him into it. When I collapsed from exhaustion, I momentarily forgot just who I had dragged into the bed, and I allowed myself to pass out next to him.

Chapter Text

When I woke there was hot breath against the back of my neck and two strong arms wrapped around me, holding me tightly against a firm chest. Kylo Ren and I were both in his bed lying on top of the covers and by the sound of it he was still asleep. I looked over my shoulder to see that his face was behind mine.

His face was a picture of serenity. With his eyes closed I could see just how full and long his lashes were, and the dampness of his lashes was the only evidence of the anguish he had shown me. Even though his brows were not furrowed in sleep I could see the lines on his skin that bore evidence of just how often he must have done so over the years. His full lips were parted ever so slightly, and I was almost tempted to meet mine to his. That temptation was gone when his eyelids flew open.

His eyes met mine, then gazed down to where our bodies were held together. The grip on my torso loosened, and he sat up in the bed, moving himself further away from me.

“Why am I here?” He asked.

“This is your room. You’re in your bed.”

“I mean, why are we in my bed together?”

“About that,” I tried to think of some way to explain what happened last night, but I was at a loss for words. “I’m not entirely sure.” I shrugged.

“Surely you know something.”

“Well, I know that you lost it and destroyed the room you were sleeping in.” He slowly turned towards the doorway, which was still open, and his face dropped when he saw the damage. “And then you were unconscious, so I dragged you here. I must have been so tired that I accidentally fell asleep next to you.”

“So, nothing happened?”

“What do you mean?” I wasn’t exactly sure that his episode last night fell into the category of nothing.

“We didn’t” he vaguely gestured between the two of us, “you know- “he trailed off. At first my mind couldn’t register what he meant, but then it clicked.

“No, we did not have sex.” I clarified.

“Good.” He let out a sigh of relief.

“Not sure if I should be offended by that or not.” I said pointedly.

“Why would that be- “realization shone in his eyes. “Oh.” He paused. “No, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m not glad that we didn’t, I’m just glad that I wasn’t unfortunate enough to have no recollection of it if that did happen.”

“Says the man who ran at the sight of me naked.” I rolled my eyes at him.

“That’s not why I left.”

“Then why?”

“No reason.” He muttered.

“No reason?” I raised my eyebrows. “So, you mean to tell me that me being naked had nothing to do with it?”

“Correct.”

“In that case,” I slowly began to unbutton my jacket, starting with the high collar. “This shouldn’t bother you.”

“What are you doing?” He asked once I had unbuttoned down to my collarbone.

“Nothing that should concern you.” I said nonchalantly as I continued undressing myself.

“I’d argue that you exposing your cleavage to me does concern me.” He said through clenched teeth.

He was trying hard to avoid looking at my exposed skin by maintaining intense eye contact, but it wasn’t working very well. Every few seconds his eyes would flick down then back up, and each time he did his cheeks became more flushed. When I finished undoing all the buttons on my jacket, I removed it and tossed it aside before standing up. His eyes tracked my every movement as I undid the belt holding my pants up and pulled them down towards my ankles. The pant legs were wide enough that I could easily pull my booted feet out.

There I was, standing in front of Kylo Ren wearing nothing but my undergarments and my boots. I could tell by the hard line of his jaw that he was still clenching his teeth, but his eyes roamed freely now, drinking in the sight of my body rather than turning away. His gloved hands were both placed on the bed, but they were each gripping a fistful of the bedding tightly. A quick glance at the bulge forming in his pants confirmed my suspicion. Kylo Ren wanted me, but he was restraining himself.

“Are you going to run away now?”

“Quite the opposite y/n.” He stood up and approached me, taking shaky breaths as he did. I shuddered at the feeling of cold leather when he grabbed me by the hips, guiding me back towards the bed. He sat me down on the edge before kneeling in front of me and unlacing my boots. He tossed them both aside, then gently placed his lips on the inside of my ankle. His mouth traveled up my leg, leaving a trail of kisses in its wake. I was trembling by the time his lips were placing a kiss at my inner thigh. His eyes met mine and didn’t break contact as he kissed me right on the clit through my panties.

“Please.” I breathed.

“Please what?” he teased.

“Touch me. Fuck me. All of it.” I begged him.

Kylo Ren was quick to oblige, and he stared me down as he removed his leather gloves with his teeth. With one hand he ripped my panties off me, and the other hand was inside me shortly after. As his thick fingers pumped in and out of me, he began fervently circling my clit with his tongue. Faint moans escaped my mouth, and I did nothing to stop them.

As if by instinct I tried to squeeze my thighs shut, trapping him there against me, but he stopped me. I ached for the fullness of his fingers inside me as he took them away to hold my legs open with both hands. His mouth never left me though, and his tongue began to lap at my pussy with quick strokes. I moaned louder then. Not having learnt my lesson, I reached down to tangle my hands in his hair. Without breaking concentration, he used the Force to pin both my hands above my head. I was at his will.

When he pulled away and stood up, I was left completely immobile. He held my body down with the Force as he undressed in front of me. His chest I had seen before, but I gulped when he removed his pants and underwear to reveal his erect cock.

“Do you want this?” he asked as he idly stroked himself.

“Yes.” I wanted to reach out towards him, but I was still being held down.

“I’m going to need to hear more than that.”

“Please fuck me!” I cried out.  

“Better. Now turn over.” He released his Force grip on me and I did as he said, rolling onto my stomach. “On your hands and knees.” He commanded, and I obeyed.

He used one of his knees to push both of my legs further apart before lining himself up at my entrance. His hands grabbed me by the waist, and with one swift stroke he buried himself deep inside me. Kylo Ren wasted no time waiting for me to adjust to his massive size before beginning to thrust in and out of me. As the pleasure and pain took over my body, I could no longer hold myself up on my arms and I fell onto my forearms.

“Fuck. Harder. Please.” I panted between moans.

“I want to year you scream my name y/n.” He grunted.

“Make me then.” I managed to say, and he took the bait. One of the hands he was gripping my hips with wrapped around me towards my clit. He kept up the pace of his thrusts as he began to rub my clit with his fingers. I gasped at the overflow of sensation and fisted a handful of sheets in each of my hands. My grip only tightened as his fingers began to move faster, and I could feel the pressure building.

“Kylo please,” I moaned, “I’m about to come.”

“Good.” He kept going, fucking me from behind and rubbing my clit until waves of pleasure went through me. I was still trembling when he pulled out. “Kneel for me, y/n.”

My legs swayed under me as I got out of the bed, but he helped me down to my knees. His cock glistened, and I tasted myself as I took him into my mouth. The tip reached the back of my throat before I could take all of him in, so I wrapped both of my hands around the base of the shaft as I began to bob my head up and down. Every few strokes I would swirl my tongue around the tip before taking him back in.

“Atta girl.” He moaned as he tangled one hand in my hair. Slowly, he began to thrust, going slightly deeper each time. His breathing became shallow, and his cock was twitching in my mouth. “Are you ready?” he asked, and I hummed in affirmation. He thrust again, but this time kept his cock there in the back of my throat as he released his seed. I looked up at him as I swallowed it all.

He slowly removed himself from my mouth, then without a word he disappeared into the bathroom. He didn’t close the door behind himself and steam from the shower poured out of the open doorway. I remained kneeling on the floor, only just beginning to process the fact that I had been fucked by Kylo Ren, when his head poked out from the steam.

“Aren’t you going to take a shower?”

“Whenever you’re done.” I mumbled.

“Just take one now.” He beckoned with one hand for me to come to the bathroom, and so I joined him in the cloud of steam.

Chapter Text

Steam clouded my vision, and I could just barely make out Kylo Ren’s silhouette in the shower. His muscles rolled underneath his skin as he lathered soap on himself, not caring that he had an audience.

“Come in.” he said, holding the shower door ajar for me. I considered joining him, but he was so large that the two of us would be pressed too closely together inside the shower.

“I think I’ll have a bath instead.” I averted my gaze from his naked body and began running a hot bath. When the tub was full enough, I turned off the water and stepped in. It was scalding hot, but enjoyable after the initial shock. My muscles unwound as I draped my arms along the edge of the tub, sinking into the relaxing water until nothing but my head and neck was above the surface.

I looked up, and through the steamed glass of the shower I noticed Kylo Ren was looking in my direction. He was no longer washing himself, and by the look of the movement of his hand he seemed to be pleasuring himself. His slow, heavy breaths combined with the sounds of water splashing against glass and tile.

I became flushed, and not just from the hot bath. Heat pooled between my legs, and without meaning to one of my hands reached down to trace slow circles around my clit. I was sensitive to even the lightest touch after being fucked, but I didn’t care. I welcomed the ache alongside the pleasure as I went harder and faster. As my breathing picked up the water in the tub undulated with each inhale and exhale.

In the shower Kylo’s movements became more fervent before stopping suddenly. The shower was turned off and he stepped out, still erect. The sight distracted me from what I had been doing, and slowly my hand retreated.

“No, don’t stop.” he said as he stepped around the tub, placing himself directly behind me. I did as he said, quickly resuming my pace. Behind myself I heard the slick sound of his hand moving against his cock. I tilted my head back to look at him, and his eyes locked onto mine. His lips parted slightly as he panted, and occasionally a low groan came from deep in his throat. The muscles of his abdomen rippled with tension, and as the movement of his hand up and down his cock became erratic it became clear that he was nearing climax. I tilted my head back further, letting the edge of the tub support my neck, and I opened my mouth wide for him. He understood what I wanted, and gave it to me; replacing his hand with my mouth and thrusting deep into my throat. I moaned around the fullness of him in my mouth as he continued to thrust in and out, the tip of him striking the back of my throat. Warmth rushed into my mouth as he came, and I swallowed.

He took a step back, sliding his cock out of my mouth. I watched from the bath as he carefully dried himself off with a towel. Though modesty was not necessary, he wrapped the towel around his waist before stepping out of the bathroom.

I quickly finished washing myself in the bath, and I let the water drain as I toweled myself dry. I combed my hair and let the damp strands fall loose. Following his lead, I also covered myself with a towel before joining him in the bedchamber, where he was already dressing himself.

“Get dressed.” he said, tossing a set of my clothes towards me. It was a black tunic similar in design to his, but the fabric seemed to flow more freely. With it was a pair of black leggings. I dressed myself in the clothes and began putting on my boots. Kylo was already dressed and had his light saber on his belt, but he was still grabbing clothes from the closet and piling them on the bed.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“We’re getting on a star destroyer.”

“Why?”

“You don’t need to know why.” He said gruffly.

“Aren’t I going to be your empress? Shouldn’t an empress know why she’s on a star destroyer?”

“Well, it’s a good thing that you’re not an empress. Not yet.” He had found a duffel bag and was packing clothes into it. I wasn’t even sure which clothes were his or mine, they all melded together into an unidentifiable black mass. “Just follow my lead, and I’ll tell you what you need to know when you need to know it.”

“Jerk.” I muttered under my breath.

“I wasn’t such a jerk when your lips were wrapped around my cock.” He smirked then, and I gave him a rude gesture in return. Once all the clothes were in the bag he added in his helmet before closing the bag and slinging it over his shoulder. “Are you ready?”

“Just about as ready as someone could be when they don’t know why they’re going somewhere.” I said flatly as I stood up from the bed. The fabric of my tunic fell gracefully around my legs, swaying gently with each step.

Kylo Ren opened the door, and outside his room stood General Hux.

“Took you long enough.” He said, his blue eyes flaring with disdain as he looked at Kylo and then at me. I wasn’t sure who he disliked more.

“We were just getting on our way. Here,” he took the bag off his shoulder and shoved it towards Hux’s chest, “carry this to the shuttle and I will meet you there.”
General Hux’s face twisted with shock and disbelief at the request, but he still did as he was told. His footsteps echoed through the empty corridor as he stomped away. Kylo waited for him to disappear around a corner completely before beginning to follow him. Without waiting for him to hold out his arm for me I took it, and we walked side-by-side all the way to the Command Shuttle.

General Hux was already inside the shuttle when Kylo and I arrived. The bag Kylo had given him was neatly placed in one of the spare seats, and Hux sat in the seat next to the pilot’s seat. I began walking towards an empty seat next to the bag, but a hand on my arm stopped me. I allowed Kylo to guide me towards the front of the ship where the pilot’s seat was. He sat down, and then motioned for me to sit down as well.

“There are no seats.” I said, glancing between Kylo Ren and General Hux. He patted his lap with one hand, then snaked the other around my waist to pull me down towards him.

I perched myself on his thigh, doing my best to hold my torso up straight so that our bodies were not joined completely. If I sat any more comfortably in Kylo Ren’s lap, I would be sure to earn more than the sneer I was already getting from General Hux then.

Kylo Ren moved quickly as he flipped all the necessary switches for takeoff, even though he had to reach around me to do everything.

“Command shuttle, requesting takeoff from hangar 217.” He said into the comms device. As the hangar doors opened, the shuttle began to lift off. I was trapped between Kylo Ren’s arms when he reached around either side of me to grasp the controls. Once outside of the hangar, Kylo shifted into hyperdrive. Despite my best efforts, my back pushed against his chest. Within seconds the endless expanse of space reappeared in the window, and the only thing in sight was a massive ship. I attempted to sit up straight again, but Kylo took one hand away from the controls and wrapped it around my waist, holding me close to him.

“Command shuttle approaching Finalizer, requesting dockage in hangar 822.” General Hux signaled our approach using the comms device, and someone from the Finalizer replied with “Yes, General.”

Kylo Ren docked the shuttle, and as it powered down, he leaned in close to the cup of my ear to whisper “Don’t forget, I am the only one you can trust here.”

Chapter Text

After his whispered warning, Kylo Ren gently lifted me off his lap so that he could stand. He retrieved his helmet from the bag and donned it before handing the bag back over to the general, who must have been beyond thrilled to be carrying Kylo Ren’s bag onto the Finalizer.

It was so strange seeing Kylo Ren in the helmet again. He hadn’t worn it around me since the day that he took me. How many people have seen his face other than me? To my knowledge only General Hux, myself, and a small number of crew aboard Starkiller base had seen him without the helmet. Kylo Ren held his arm out for me to take, so I swallowed my fear and stepped out of the shuttle at his side. I hadn’t trusted anyone until then, and I had no plans of placing my trust with anyone. Not even him.

General Hux followed closely behind us as we strode through the black corridors of the Finalizer. People idling in the halls suddenly found much more important things to do or places to be as they noticed our approach. Surely anyone who might want to ogle at the strange girl on Kylo Ren’s arm or the disgruntled General on bag-carrying duty was discouraged by the intimidating aura that emanated from the man I walked next to.

We reached a set of doors and walked through them to find ourselves on the bridge of the Finalizer. An older man in a First Order Uniform stood at the center of the bridge, and he turned to face us.

“Commander. General.” He gave Kylo and Hux each a curt nod before turning to me, at a loss for a greeting. “And who might this be?”

“Y/n is my fiancé.” Kylo Ren introduced me. The man looked between me and Kylo and shock swept over his face briefly before he pulled his features back into a neutral expression.

“Congratulations commander.” Was all that he said in response, his flat tone masking whatever his true thoughts on the engagement might be.

“Don’t congratulate me yet, Captain Peavey. I have much to do, starting with relieving you of your command. You are dismissed.”

Somehow Captain Peavey’s reaction was limited to a slight raise of his eyebrows as he deigned out a “Yes, commander.” I could have sworn that I heard a snicker come from Hux behind me as Peavey walked away.

Kylo Ren turned around to face Hux, and I turned with him.

“General, you have command of the Finalizer.” It was almost as if Hux’s blue eyes began to shine brighter as Kylo Ren said those words to him, and his thin lips appeared to be fighting off a smirk.

General Hux immediately made use of his position by flagging someone down and handing off Kylo Ren’s bag, ordering “Bring this to Commander Ren’s quarters immediately.” They scurried away immediately, bag in hand.

“Come.” Was all that Kylo Ren said as he took me by the arm again and began walking. His strides were much longer than mine, and I struggled to match his pace as he took me through corridor after corridor of the Finalizer. Every time I was sure that there couldn’t possibly be another corridor on the ship, Kylo made another turn. Eventually we reached a pair of doors, and behind it seemed to by his quarters, or rather our quarters.

It wasn’t much different from his quarters on Starkiller base. A bed made up with black bedding took the center of the room, flanked by two small bedside tables. The bag that Hux had handed off was already there, neatly placed on the end of the bed. A small wardrobe was built into the wall near the bed, and Kylo wasted no time emptying the bag and neatly placing each item in the wardrobe. After everything from the bag had been put away, he took off his helmet, setting it down on one of the bedside tables.

Kylo Ren ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it back and away from his forehead. My mind wandered, thinking of how much I wanted to run my own fingers through his hair while he goes down on me. I realized that my mind was headed towards the gutter, so I shook my head back and forth to shake away the impure thoughts before Kylo could notice them. He seemed to be too lost in his own thoughts to pick up on mine, though.

“Kylo?”

“What is it, y/n?” his words were sharp. He clearly did not want to be interrupted in his thoughts, whatever they were.

“Why are we here?” I asked. He had already refused to answer this question before, but I figured there was no harm in asking again.

“That’s not something you need to know right now.”

“Fine.” I huffed. “How about you answer this then. Why did you put Hux in charge of this ship when just yesterday you were choking him out?”

“Not this again.” He pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. “If anyone dares to breathe in your direction the wrong way, that is what they get. If they touch you, they will get worse. Hux knows not to cross that line now, and he is the only one I can entrust my plans to.

“What happened to trusting no one but you?” I threw his own words back at him.

“For you, yes I am the only one to be trusted.”

“But you won’t even trust me enough to tell me what is going on.” I retorted. How could he expect me to place all of my trust in him if I was to be kept in the dark.

“Y/n please. I will tell you what is happening soon, please just trust me.” He picked his helmet back up from the bedside table and tucked it under his arm. “There’s something I need to do first though, so wait here and I’ll be back tomorrow.” With that he was out the door.

I wasn’t sure how long I sat on the edge of the bed staring at the wall for. It could have been minutes, or maybe hours. It was hard to gauge the passage of time with nothing to do. I had already explored my room a few times over at that point. The attached bathroom was much smaller compared to the one on Starkiller base, with only a shower and a sink. No tub for me to relax in.

The more I stared at the wall the more I wished that Kylo was there so that he could fuck me against the wall, and I couldn’t shake the thoughts from my head. I hated it. I hated how much I wanted him. It had only been a few days since he took me from my home. It felt wrong to want him the way I wanted him. It felt even more wrong that I wished he had kissed me before leaving, as if a prisoner should want a goodbye kiss from their captor. Even if I held the title of fiancé or eventually empress, I was still a prisoner.

My home was Pasaana, even though I had no friends or family there. I missed the hot desert air and the feeling of sun on my skin. I missed the joy of working on an engine, knowing that with nothing but my hands and a few tools I could fix just about anything. I would never even have a chance to see the Festival of the Ancestors. Somehow even as someone who had nothing, Kylo Ren managed to take everything from me when he captured me, and I hated him for it. He could have stolen any woman in the galaxy, but of course it just had to be me.

I didn’t bother changing before I wrapped myself up in the blankets and curled into a ball. All of the emotions that I had been penning up for the past few days escaped, and I sobbed into the soft bedding until I fell asleep.

Chapter Text

I woke up with a rumbling stomach, unsure exactly how long I had slept. A glance at the clock on the wall revealed it to be early morning. I got up from bed, leaving the blankets in a heap. Making Kylo Ren’s bed was not one of my priorities.

I walked into the bathroom and looked at my face, grimacing at the obvious puffiness of my eyelids. If anyone saw me, they would know that I had been crying the night before. I remembered Kylo Ren’s advice then, not to trust anyone. Even if I didn’t intend to follow his advice, I couldn’t allow anyone else to know how vulnerable I was.

I turned the faucet on, checking the temperature of the water with my finger. Ice cold. Perfect. I leaned down and splashed my face with icy water a few times, hoping it would help. I stood up straight again and looked in the mirror; My eyes were still slightly puffy, but it wasn’t as glaringly obvious that I had been crying. It would have to be enough. I hastily fixed my hair and smoothed out the wrinkles on my clothes before deciding that I looked decent enough to venture outside of my room.

As I wandered the halls of the Finalizer I thought to myself that my first act as empress might be to put up a few maps and signs around the ship. That is, if Kylo Ren would allow it. Surely I would only be an empress in title, but without any actual power. Every corridor looked the same to me, and I had no way of knowing where I was headed. The First Order must eat too, so surely there was a mess hall tucked away somewhere on the ship.

I mostly walked in a straight line, peering down the corridors that split off from the one I was in as I went. I saw nothing but empty hall after empty hall, until a flash of red hair caught my eye. I changed course immediately and began following the sound of his footsteps as they echoed, picking up my pace to catch up to him. He must have heard my pursuit, because the sound of his footsteps grew faster and started to become more distant.

“Wait!” I called out, not wanting him to get away. As uncomfortable as I felt knowing I would need to ask for his help finding my way, I knew I would feel far more uncomfortable asking a random stormtrooper. His footsteps stopped suddenly at the sound of my voice, then started again. This time the sound of boots against tile grew louder and louder as he walked back towards me. He stopped about 5 paces away, seeming like he would rather die than come any closer to me.

“What are you doing out of your room?” He sneered.

“I’m looking for something to eat, but this ship is a maze.” I admitted, throwing my hands up in defeat. Until that point, I wasn’t explicitly aware that I wasn’t supposed to leave my room.

“That fucking idiot.” He muttered under his breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. He heaved a big sigh and shook his head before letting out an annoyed “Follow me.”

I followed a few paces behind him as he led me through the Finalizer. As we walked through the busier areas of the ship, it was strange to not have people become visibly fearful as I walked by. If anyone feared Hux they definitely made no show of it, although he didn’t seem very well liked either. Nobody greeted him, but a few snickers and jeers were heard as we passed by a group of TIE pilots.

“Guys look, General Fucks is back.” One of them said, elbowing another in the ribs.

The other pilot was trying to stifle their laughter, but their effort failed when another one from the group chimed in saying, “I wonder who is going to be visiting Hux’s quarters next.”

Hux stopped in his tracks and turned to face the pilots. His blue eyes iced over, becoming unforgivingly cold as he stared them down. His voice was eerily calm when he addressed them. “I would like to remind you all that I am commander of the Finalizer, and unless you would like to be moved to sanitation duty never to see the inside of a cockpit again I recommend that you all shut your mouths.” He didn’t wait for their response before walking away, acting completely unbothered by what had just happened.

“Uhm, General?” I called out to him, taking a few brisk steps to catch up to him. He didn’t stop for me to catch up.

“Let me guess, you want to know why I didn’t smite them on the spot because that’s what Kylo Ren would have done in that situation?”

“Well, yeah actually.”

He stopped then and faced me as he spoke. “Unlike him I don’t hide behind a mask. Everyone thinks he is something to be feared because of the helmet and the lightsaber but he is nothing more than a child. He throws tantrums when he doesn’t get his way, but guess what?” Hux chuckled to himself as he drew in closer, bringing his voice to a low whisper as he continued. “He can get away with it because Snoke just loves having Darth Vader’s little grandson as his pawn.”

A smirk formed on his lips as he watched me try to process it all. Darth Vader has been dead for years. One of his children is a Jedi and the other one is a Resistance General. How could either of them possibly be related to Kylo Ren? Hux was lying to me. There was no way any of it could be true.

“He told me not to trust anyone. Not even you.” I said, voice trembling.

“Oh, I’m sure he did. Just ask him who Ben Solo is the next time you see him, that’ll make things clear for you. Anyways,” he clasped his hands in front of him, “we were on our way somewhere, weren’t we?”

Hux began walking again, and I followed silently. Questions filled my head, but I didn’t ask them. Kylo did advise me not to trust anyone here, and even if I didn’t trust Kylo much it would still be prudent to be wary of Hux. He had to have some sort of ulterior motive to be telling me about Kylo Ren, regardless of whether or not there was any truth to his claims.

We rounded a corner and walked into the mess hall. People sat at tables in clusters, chatting as they ate. Along the walls were stations manned by droids who dished out meal portions onto the trays of anyone who approached them. I stared in awe, and my stomach gave an impatient grumble urging me to pick up a tray.

Hux was already walking away out of the mess hall when the sirens started blaring. Red lights along the wall began flashing in time with the sirens. People abandoned their food, running in every different direction. Hux’s eyes caught mine for a second, wide with shock. I meant to ask what was happening, but he ran off before the words could form on my lips. The metal tray I had in my hands fell to the floor, and the harsh clangs joined the cacophony of sirens as I ran after Hux.

My sight remained locked on the head of red hair as ran, dodging groups of people running in the opposite direction. I followed him through corridor after corridor until eventually he burst through a set of doors into a hangar. I hesitated at first, unsure if I wanted to make my presence known. It barely took a few seconds for the fear of being by myself in the corridor with no idea what was happening superseded my hesitation. As I walked into the doors Hux was walking towards me, and he wasn’t alone.

Two stormtroopers were carrying a stretcher as Hux walked alongside them at a hurried pace. “Take him to the med bay immediately.” He ordered. His attention was focused on whoever was on the stretcher, and he didn’t even pay any notice to my presence. As the stormtroopers drew closer I noticed that the person in the stretcher was covered with a black sheet, but there was a faint rising and falling of their chest which chased away my initial thought that they were a corpse. I looked behind them and noticed what ship they had come from, the command shuttle. My mind raced as I put the pieces together, realizing that Kylo Ren was the person under that sheet. Kylo Ren was the person who was injured. Kylo Ren was the person who almost looked like a corpse. I ran, suddenly needing to close the distance between me and him as quickly as possible.

Hux noticed me then, and an icy look washed over his face. He said no words as he grabbed me by the arm and pulled me out of the hangar back into the corridor. He didn’t follow the stormtroopers carrying Kylo Ren but instead took me in the opposite direction. I tried to yank my arm free, but his grip tightened.

“What are you doing?” I shrieked, pulling my arm away from him harder.

“Taking you back to your room.” He spat out, continuing to pull me along. I didn’t stop fighting, and by the time he had gotten me back to my room I was fatigued. When the door opened, he shoved me in, and I fell to the floor. I heard his footsteps echo as he ran off.

When I was sure that he was gone, I picked myself up from the floor and left my room again. The corridor was completely empty, and I kept wandering until I heard footsteps approaching. I sat down on the ground with my back against the wall and held one of my ankles, pulling my face into a grimace of pain. The footsteps belonged to a stormtrooper, and they rushed to my side after turning the corner to see me on the ground in apparent pain.

“Med bay. Please” I grunted through clenched teeth. The stormtrooper helped me to my feet and placed an arm under my shoulder on the side of my supposedly injured ankle, taking on some of my weight as I limped alongside them. I was guided all the way to the med bay by the stormtrooper, and I expressed my thanks after they helped me into an empty cot.

Once the stormtrooper left the med bay I stood up and began looking around. Many of the cots were occupied by injured stormtroopers groaning out in pain. Medical droids whirred around, caring for the injured, but the droids were outnumbered. It seemed like those whose injuries were more severe were getting attention first. A few of the cots had been covered with a black sheet, but their chests didn’t rise and fall. Whatever happened, there were casualties. I only hoped that Kylo Ren wasn’t among the dead.

A section of the med bay was separated by a black curtain, and a gut feeling told me that Kylo Ren was there. I strode over towards the curtain, and pulled it aside to find Kylo Ren. He was covered in ash and blood, but he was alive. Two droids were busy tending to his wounds. I choked back tears as I rushed to kneel at his side. His eyes cracked open and met mine, then he croaked out “Y/n, please stay.”

Chapter Text

I am so very sorry to anyone who has been waiting for more Catch and Release, but don't worry because there will be more coming soon. I'm currently finishing my degree so writing has been slow. I can at least promise you all that I will finish this fic before George R. R. Martin finishes Winds of Winter (if you understand that I am deeply sorry, I am an impatient reader and I have been waiting too). Also a quick thanks to those of you who have left kudos recently, because you gave me the motivation to actually work on getting a few chapters out.

Chapter Text

I reached toward him, gently stroking his face. I had difficulty remembering exactly why I hated him as I watched him fight back tears. His brown eyes had a warmth to them that reminded me of home; of the desert sands I used to hate but now miss so much. He winced suddenly as one of the droids pulled shrapnel from a wound, and a tear began to roll down his cheek. I wiped it away for him and placed a kiss in its place. I couldn’t care less if anyone saw. I was his fiancé after all and kissing away the pain surely fell within a fiancé’s duties.

The droids worked fast, but not fast enough. Against the wall I saw a supply cart with some wet cloths, so I stood up to grab a few. Kylo tried to hold me at his side, but he was too weak to even keep my hand in his.

“Don’t worry, I’m still here.” I murmured when I kneeled at his side again. He offered a weak smile in acknowledgement. The first cloth quickly became covered with bloody soot as I began to wipe away the remnants of battle. Aside from a few small scrapes his face was mostly untouched. So that mask isn’t just for looks after all. As I cleaned more of his skin I revealed more and more cuts, burns, and bruises. Despite my best efforts at being gentle, he would occasionally wince or groan as I passed the cloth over a hidden injury.

“Ahem.”

I looked behind me, and there stood one of the medical officers with a quizzical look on her face. I didn’t even notice her approach; I was so focused on tending to Kylo.

“I’m sorry I was just-“ I stammered.

“Don’t be sorry.” She cut me off. “I already have enough to do around here as it is, and you got most of the cleanup out of the way for me so I should really thank you.”

“Oh, you’re welcome then?”

“I can handle it from here, don’t worry.” She offered me a reassuring yet cold smile as she grabbed my arm to help me up from the ground. I was convinced she had wanted to shove me away but did not want to invoke Kylo Ren’s wrath. He was in no shape to hurt her as it was, but she clearly didn’t want to risk it.

“I’d like to stay.” I stood my ground and looked her in the eyes, trying my hand at being intimidating like Kylo Ren is. When I realized that I wasn’t as intimidating as I thought I could be, I added a “Please?” to win her over.

“Fine.” She sighed. “Just stay out of my way.” She gestured to the empty wall, and I complied by standing as close to it as possible. If I stood any closer, I might have fused with the wall.

She pushed her white sleeves up to her elbows before beginning to tend to Kylo’s wounds. Her uniform was a pristine white, despite all the dead and dying she had tended to. I was amazed by how clean her uniform was considering how much dirt and blood she had to be around, until I saw her putting on a robe over her uniform. No, not a robe; some sort of apron. It was a long black tunic that opened in the back, with ties to close it. She slipped it on and then walked over to me, turning her back.

“Be a dear and tie these for me.” I did as I was told and began to tie the sets of strings together. “Normally I do it myself, but I might as well make you useful.” She shrugged, and I almost lost my grip on the strings I was holding.

“All done.” I said, as I finished the final set of ties.

She finished off her getup with a pair of rubber gloves and got to work. The droids had just about finished cleaning his skin and removing bits of shrapnel. With just a thin piece of fabric draped over his waist, the full extent of his injuries was on display, and it was not great. His right forearm was burned, and the flesh was an angry shade of red with fluid-filled blisters over it. There was another burn slashed across his chest from his right shoulder to his left hip, which was much worse. His skin was nearly gone in that area and what little skin he had left was charred and black. I almost swore I could see white bone poking through some of the cooked flesh. In addition to his burns, cuts and scrapes were sprinkled over his skin. The worst was a deep gash on his right thigh which was wide open.

She began pouring liquid from a bottle over his wounds, and Kylo Ren roared out in pain. I took a step away from the wall towards him, hoping to hold his and and comfort him, but the medical officer stopped me.

“Don’t you dare get any closer! Do you want him to have a life-threatening infection to any of these wounds?” She shrieked.

“No.” I said sheepishly as I took my place against the wall again.

“Please stay over there then so you don’t contaminate the area then. And this,” She turned towards me and gently shook the bottle of liquid, “is just a disinfectant. I can’t treat his wounds until they are cleaned out.”

As much as I hated to see him in pain, I did as she said and stood by the wall while she cleaned his wounds. Once everything was clean to her liking, she wasted no time treating Kylo. I still had no idea what happened, but surely there were more injuries for her to tend to after she was done here. The burn on his arm was covered with a thick salve and some bandages, and the same salve was put on the minor cuts and scrapes. She closed his gaping thigh wound with a few sutures and covered it with some more of that salve before bandaging it up.

The worst was left for last. She pulled out a syringe from a locked drawer and began injecting it along the borders of his chest burn. I realized exactly what was in the syringe as I saw his flesh begin to repair itself before my very eyes. It was the same injections I had been given by my dear medic friend on Pasaana a lifetime ago. The injections didn’t heal his burn all the way. The skin and flesh had begun to regenerate, but it still looked bright red like his other burn. She topped it off with salve and wrapped bandages around the width of his chest before taking a step back to admire her own handiwork.

She took off the black tunic to reveal her pristine white uniform and threw the tunic and gloves into the trash.

“Don’t touch any of the bandages for 2 days, after that it’s safe to take them off.” She began walking out of the room, onto her next patient.

“What if it’s not healed by then?”

“Oh don’t worry, that salve contains the same medication that was in that syringe. He’ll be healed by then as long as he rests.” With that, she was gone and I turned around to find Kylo Ren already trying to get himself up off the cot.