Archive of Our Own ^beta

Summary: Things begin to make sense for Jeannie.

Note: Look, I hate that Jeannie calls Rodney Meredith, it feels like Deadnaming to me and I absolutely hate that she didn't respect Rodney enough to call him Rodney, however it's part of her character which is why Rodney is refered to as Meredith throughout this story since it's from her point of view.

I thought I would explain since I figured that would throw people off.

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There's a lot that Jeannie doesn't remember about her childhood, a lot about her parents she doesn't know, they were never around when she was small and she didn't think it was odd at all.

One of the earliest memories she has of her childhood is of Meredith, her brother. He's telling her stories about the stars as he gets her ready for the day, braiding her curls and tying her shoes before helping her button her jacket.

Meredith was always talking about stars or equations, he'd spend the time she played at the park reading books but he hadn't gone to school, not a public one at least, he'd never left her alone at home with their mother and he had never let her see their father.

She hadn't thought anything of it then, that her father was just a muffled voice through a door.

She hadn't thought anything of it when she dropped out of school to marry her boyfriend when she got pregnant either, didn't understand why Meredith's disappointment and disapproval hurt so much and made her so angry.

They'd stopped talking after that but it hadn't been so bad, he'd stopped being so involved in her life when their parents had died and their grandparents took them in.

In fact Meredith had been gone before the year was out, gone to college, leaving her behind but for sparadic phone calls that came less and less frequently.

Jeannie hadn't cared, she'd been six years old and starting real school where she had made friends quickly and had less and less time to answer Meredith's calls anyway.

She'd stopped taking his calls at all for a few months, angry and hating that he'd kept her from school and making friends and going on playdates and sleepovers.

By the time they had reconnected Jeannie had stopped resenting the Meredith of her childhood not understanding the looks her husband would give her when she spoke about her childhood and her brother but rarely her mother and never her father.

She doesn't understand until John tells her about Meredith's plan to sacrifice himself to the Wraith so it could save her.

It's horrible to think, but she wouldn't give up her life to save Meredith, oh, she'd work hard to make a plan that might save his life, she'd do almost anything in her power, but she wouldn't trade her life for his.

But she'd trade her life for Madison's in a heartbeat, she wouldn't even have to think about it, she wouldn't hesitate. Her life for Madison's would be worth it, no question, no hestation.

Jeannie laid awake in her hospital bed in the SGC infirmary.

It's late and only the night nurses are around, John having convinced Meredith, Kaleb and Madison to sleep in some guest quarters and she was alone.

Alone with her thoughts and memories that were shifting and rearranging themselves.

She'd never asked for their parents after they died, only Meredith and it had been Meredith that soothed her nightmares about being in a new place before her grandmother took over.

She remembered that before he'd stopped Meredith had had a screaming match with their grandparents. Jeannie couldn't remember what they'd said but Meredith had been gone two months later and he'd stopped coming when she'd had nightmares before then.

"Hey, you should be sleeping." Meredith said softly as from the door.

Jeannie looked up.

"I could say the same about you."

"Meredith shrugged, "I wanted to check on you."

"I'm fine, they said I could go home in a few days." Jeannie smiled as Meredith sat next to her bed.

They sat in awkward silence for a moment and Jeannie watched Meredith wring his hands nervously.

"I don't remember much about mom or dad." Jeannie said softly, "But I know that neither of them would trade their life for mine."

Meredith looked at her, looked like he wanted to say something but Jeannie continued.

"The thing is, I wouldn't trade my life for yours either, that's not something siblings do."

Meredith blinked and opened his mouth, to protest maybe, Jeannie didn't know but she cut him off again.

"I'd do it for Maddie in a heartbeat, I wouldn't even take the time to think about it, but I wouldn't do it for you. Maybe that makes me a bad sister but it's true." Jeannie said as she looked at Meredith, "But you never saw me as a sister, did you?"

Meredith stared at her, maybe in another life she would have been pleased to have stunned him silent but not right now.

"When exactly did you become responsible for me?" Jeannie asked.

"When mom came home from the hospital, she was diagnosed with post-partum and the crying made dad mad, when I found him shaking you to make you quiet I knew I had to keep you safe, our mother wasn't going to do it." Meredith said quietly.

Jeannie closed her eyes against the tears that filled her eyes.

"You became my parent that day." Jeannie said softly, "Stopped seeing me as a sister."

"I guess." Meredith shrugged, "When our grandparents took us in they made it clear they didn't want my help and I couldn't stand it so I emancipated myself and left." Meredith explained, "I was lucky they let you take my calls, I lost the battle for custody before I had a chance to start one, when the CIA came to me. It would have been dangerous. But I set up a college fund for you. And for Madison once she was born."

"That explains why you were so disappointed about me quiting school."

"I wanted you to have options, I didn't want you to depend on someone the way our mother did." Meredith looked away, "The way I did."

Jeannie looked at him and Meredith looked at her.

"I know it doesn't seem like it but I would do anything for you." Meredith said, "Even stay far away from you to keep you safe."

"Meredith." Jeannie said and the tears in her eyes fell.

Meredith hesitated for half a moment before climbing in bed beside her and tucking her in close, petting her hair gently.

They sat like that until Jeannie was falling asleep.

"You know, one of my earliest memories is of you holding me like this and telling me about the stars." Jeannie whispered with her eyes closed.

Meredith hummed and adjusted them to settle more comfortably on the bed.

For a moment Jeannie thought that that would be it and then Meredith began to talk softly, fingers threading through her curls as he told her about the universe.

Jeannie fell asleep feeling safe and loved, the same way she had so long ago, when she was very small and so new to the world, knowing that Meredith would never let anything bad happen to her.

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A/n: the SGC camera footage of this interaction mysteriously vanished and Sam Carter also never teased Rodney about Jeannie calling him Meredith again, nor did she call him that either.