Archive of Our Own ^beta

The Queen of Hearts had been overthrown, and the people were celebrating. But all Alice could think of were the cuts and bruises staining Hatter’s face and body.

He caught her gaze as she tried to assess the damage from a distance and raised his eyebrows in question. Rather than look away as she might have done just a few days before, Alice tilted her head so he would follow her away from the crowds.

He came without question, and the two of them slowly made their way to a collection of buildings that must have once served the casino. They seemed to have largely escaped the damage of the collapsing structure, and Alice had high hopes that they might find some medical supplies there.

“Where are we going?” he asked.

“You’ll find out,” she replied playfully. He smiled a little, and her heart danced in her chest at the warmth in his gaze.

They fell into silence. Alice had no idea what was on his mind, but a subtle tension ebbed and flowed between them. Perhaps he was thinking about her as much as she was aware of him.

Eventually they came to a building that might have been employee quarters. It was the first place they came to that wasn’t obviously something else - like a shop or a laundromat. Why Alice was surprised to see something as ordinary as a laundromat in Wonderland, she wasn’t sure, but it still shocked her. Though it made sense - the casino had plenty of staff that were not under the influence of whatever emotion of the day, and all those uniforms and bed linens needed washing and changing.

She and Hatter gingerly opened the exterior doors. The place was silent and echoing, almost eerie. Alice had encountered enough strange creatures here in Wonderland that she didn’t feel entirely safe. The Red Queen might have been defeated, but she wasn’t the only danger in this place.

They turned a corner, side-by-side.

“I’ll go first,” Hatter said, trying to push in front.

“No, you won’t. You don’t even know what we’re looking for. And you’re injured.”

“That doesn’t mean-”

She held up a hand to cut off a potential argument and his words tripped to a halt. If neither she nor Hatter was willing to let the other take the lead, they’d just have to go together. They went through the double doors at the same time, shoulders brushing and causing a frisson of awareness down Alice’s spine.

It seemed they were right about it being a place of accommodation. Doors lined a long hallway that was so long it looked like an optical illusion. Many of them stood open to reveal carbon copy rooms that barely looked lived in.

She had a strange thought that the rooms looked more like a prison than a home and shivered. But as she looked closer, she realized that each room had its own individual touches put to it.

They wordlessly chose a clean-looking room and Alice pulled Hatter inside. The room had a single bed with a well-worn blanket, a dresser, a pitcher, a lamp, and not much else. The floor had a thin carpet put over it, nothing like the plush and luxurious casino, but better than nothing.

There were no photographs or artworks on the wall, only a little figurine of a knight on the dresser that might have been homemade.

Alice stopped surveying the room and turned to Hatter. “This’ll do.” She placed her hands on his shoulders and eased him down until he sat on the narrow bed.

“Not that I’m complaining, but isn’t this moving a little fast?”

Alice rolled her eyes. “Seriously? That’s where your mind went?”

His expression flickered past too quickly for her to catch it, but it looked suspiciously like hurt. He shrugged, then stopped halfway through the movement with a wince.

“That’s why we’re here. To tend to your wounds.”

A slow trickle of blood was making its way down the side of his face. Alice’s gut clenched at the thought of what he must have endured. Had he done it for her, or for the resistance? If he’d done it for her, what did that mean?

“I’m alright,” he said, brushing her seeking hand aside.

Alice frowned at him, using the same expression that had cowed many judo students in the dojo. “No, you’re not. Let me help.”

He tried to protest again, but she ignored him. Instead, she stood and headed to the dresser. She hoped to find some old clothes she could use as a potentially ridiculous bandage for his wounds. But when she opened the drawer, she saw not just the clothes, but whiskey and tape. The pitcher on the dresser had water in it, which she confirmed with first smell, then taste.

She ignored Hatter’s admonishment about drinking strange liquids. It hadn’t killed her yet.

And, anyway, even if she did take some risks, her first priority would always be keeping Hatter healthy and whole. She wasn’t sure exactly when her feelings for him had developed, but she couldn’t deny them now. Not when her heart ached at the thought of him being hurt.

Alice snatched up the makeshift first aid kit without thinking too deeply about her heart. There would be time for deeper considerations later, after she’d patched Hatter up. As she turned back to face him, she saw that he’d slumped further, barely keeping himself upright, with one hand gripping his ribs. Clearly, it wasn’t just his face that needed tending.

He made an effort to straighten when she approached, but if she hadn’t already known he was suffering, the wince on his face gave it away. He was so brave for what he’d endured - she wished he could see that there was no shame in needing help.

“Don’t argue,” she told him, as he opened his mouth to do exactly that.

His jaw snapped shut.

She set the items on the bed and then shuffled as close to him as she could before taking off his hat. He eyed her a little nervously and swallowed. Alice wasn’t sure whether she could actually see the pulse in his throat speed up or if she just inferred it was there, but it still made her smile a little.

“What, you like seeing me hurt?” Hatter asked. His delivery was more pained than playful, but she appreciated the effort.

She doused an old shirt in whiskey and began dabbing at one of his cuts. “I’m a judo instructor. I’ve seen worse injuries.”

Only once, and it didn’t bear repeating. But he didn’t need to know that.

“What’s judo? Is that what you’re doing when you throw people about in a fight?”

“Yes, though I usually don’t use it to actually hurt people.” She dabbed at another cut and tried not to wince in sympathy when he flinched. She kept talking to distract him. “There’s not a lot of fighting in my world. At least, not of the hand-to-hand combat variety.”

“Most of the time there isn’t a lot of that kind of fighting here, either. You wouldn’t last long if you tried it.”

“Is that why you do things your way? Just trying to stay alive?”

“Something like that.”

Their eyes met and both of them froze. At least, externally. Inside, her heart was beating like crazy and her mouth went dry in anticipation. Would he kiss her?

She licked her lips involuntarily and his eyes darted down to follow the movement. His breath caught. For a long moment his gaze seemed fixated on her lips, and Alice found herself drifting infinitesimally closer.

Then, he caught himself and cleared his throat, tearing his gaze from her and staring deliberately at the wall. Alice made a face he couldn’t see and then went back to tending him.

“What did they do to you in there?” she asked softly.

“You don’t need to know.” His voice was raw with a dark pain, and Alice met his eyes to see that same emotion reflected in his expression.

“Maybe I want to know.”

“No.” He was firm. “Maybe one day. But not…not now.”

He didn’t want to relive whatever had happened in the casino, and she could understand that. But did the fact that he was talking about the future mean that they’d see each other again when all this was over? Was that even possible?

More than anything, she wanted there to be a future for her and Hatter. But she had to go home, and from everything he’d told her, he planned to stay in Wonderland.

She’d dabbed at all the cuts she could see and wished fervently she had a proper first aid kit to patch him up with. Or, better yet, a proper hospital to take him to. Maybe she should suggest it, as an excuse to take him into her world with her. She was sure that if he saw it, he’d like it and want to stay.

But should she really manipulate him like that? Probably not.

She’d just have to do the best she could for him here in Wonderland.

“Take off your shirt.”

Hatter coughed, then winced. “What did you just say?”

“From the way you’re holding your side, you probably have a cracked rib or two. Let me see.”

Hatter looked steadily at her for a long moment, searching her face for something she couldn’t name. She tried to set her expression into something steady and businesslike. She really did just want to help him. Perhaps she’d started having thoughts about seeing him naked recently, but these were not the circumstances she’d imagined and hoped for that. He was in far too much pain for her to make any kind of move, if she thought he’d even be into that.

Whatever he’d seen on her face must have disappointed him, though, because he sighed heavily and looked up at the ceiling. Or, he tried to. But the sighed transformed into a pained exhale through a clenched jaw.

“Fine,” he said, and Alice told herself that the annoyance and frustration she heard in his voice was probably just pain.

She helped him carefully peel off the layers of his clothing until he was bare-chested and pale with exhaustion. She pushed him back until he was prone on the bed and surveyed the damage.

His torso was riddled with bruises and small cuts. One rather spectacular bruise was blooming on his right ribcage, and Alice was more certain than ever that at least one rib was broken.

Tears sprang to her eyes and she blinked rapidly to get rid of them. “Hatter, I’m so sorry.” Her gut was a twisted, anxious mess. He’d endured so much. Not just in the last few days, but in all the years that had led to this moment. But he’d survived, anyway he could.

“For what?” he asked, bewildered.

“It’s my fault that you went through this.” Her voice was raw and choked.

“No,” he said fiercely. “I made my own choices.”

“Do you regret them?” Her fingers brushed over his wounds, lighter than a feather, and more tender than she’d known she was capable of.

He paused for a long moment, until she looked into his eyes. “No,” he said softly, affection shining through his pain. “Not for a moment.”

Her heart tumbled at that. If she hadn’t already known she was falling for Hatter, there would be no denying it now. That fact that he was willing to sacrifice himself for her made her heart soar, even as it ached with sympathy and regret.

No one other than her mother had ever made sacrifices for her. She’d always had to be the strong one. It had served her well for most of her life, but it had also been lonely. And here Hatter had taken on this role of her protector without her asking, or even knowing it was what she wanted.

How could she not fall in love with him?

She took a deep breath and pushed that revelation aside to deal with later. She had to focus on patching Hatter up before she could even think about her feelings and their future.

Alice dipped the edge of the shirt in water and ever so carefully began dabbing at his wounds to clean them. Hatter’s hand came up and gripped hers. At first, she thought he was pushing her away because she was causing him too much pain. But then she realized it was a gesture of thanks, as he rubbed his thumb over her knuckles.

“Thank you for doing this,” he murmured.

Her heart tumbled again. “Of course.” She dabbed at another cut. He still hadn’t let go of her hand.

“With everything that was happening, all the celebrations, your father…” he paused. “You thought of me.”

“Yes,” she whispered, her voice hoarse. Did he know how much she cared about him?

“No one has ever put me first like that. So thank you.”

She nodded, unable to manage any words. Her heart ached all over again at the sincerity in his voice. She hadn’t seen him sincere much in the short time they’d known each other, and so it meant all the more to her.

Alice finished cleaning his wounds and bandaged him up as best she could with the clothes and tape she’d found. She’d have to find a way to repay whoever it was who had inadvertently sacrificed their wardrobe for Hatter’s recovery.

Neither of them moved when she’d finished. Hatter, breathing heavily as if he’d just run a marathon. Alice, unwilling to let him leave the safety of that room, but equally unwilling to leave him.

She was perched on the bed beside him. He lay back against the cushions, one forearm over his eyes, and the other in her lap. Alice reached forward and ran her fingers through his hair. It was a gesture of comfort, of soothing, but she felt Hatter’s fist clench in her lap.

“Sorry,” she murmured, easing her hand away.

“Don’t stop,” he said, voice almost pleading.

Alice cleared her throat and complied, gently running her fingers through his hair. The hand that had been covering his eyes dropped down, giving her better access, and slowly he began to relax. His breathing grew deeper, the tension in his muscles loosened. And finally, he slept.

Alice waited for what might have been hours, just watching him sleep. She hadn’t realized at the time how close she’d come to losing him. But he’d made it through, made it back to her.

And she had to leave him.

She had to go home, and from everything he’d said, he was planning on staying in Wonderland. And they’d lose each other all over again.

But maybe that’s what he wanted. She’d caused him nothing but trouble since the moment she’d arrived. He probably thought she wasn’t worth all the suffering she’d put him through, he’d certainly never said anything that had made her think otherwise.

Now that they had the ring, the way home was surely up and running. She needed to go back as soon as possible. There was no way she could leave her Mom waiting a second longer worrying about her. It had already been far too many days that she’d been gone.

Alice eased into a standing position, careful not to wake Hatter. Before she left, she couldn’t resist placing a gentle kiss to his forehead, lingering for a long moment and just breathing him in.

Then, she turned and slipped out of the room, wondering if she’d ever see him again.