Archive of Our Own ^beta

Oh, fucking hell.

Keith should have known from the start that any gift exchange that included Lance would go off the rails.

‘Oh, c’mon, Keith, let’s be festive! Where’s your holiday spirit?’ That’s what everyone said when he balked at the idea of a white elephant. He knew there would be some sort of … dumbassness. There always is.

But he wanted to contribute something nice. Granted, he doesn’t always have the same idea of ‘nice’ as everyone else. Guess that comes with being half-alien.

So Keith had done a little rockhounding in the desert outside the Garrison and found a large handful of quartz, geodes, agate, and jasper. He’d wiped the sand and dust off until they shone and piled them into a soft cloth tied with a ribbon. He’d then second-guessed himself and taped a gift card to a local diner to the bottom. It wasn’t much, but it was genuinely Keith.

Somehow, Shiro had ended up with Keith’s gift. He looked down at the gems and minerals in his lap and smiled. Keith tried not to die from the adorable. Shiro’s smile is something extraordinary, not the one for generals or talking heads or diplomats, the genuine little one that few beings on any planet get to see.

Anyway. Keith digresses.

And now that they were doing their “white elephant” exchange, there was a rabid fight for the tin package that was filled to bursting with Hunk’s baking. Keith had stolen it from Matt, but then Pidge had stolen it from Keith. And now Keith had to pick another present. Everyone had avoided the present wrapped shoddily in paper emblazoned with the words “Jingle Balls” and hairy, Santa hat-wearing ballsacks.

Keith sighed and took the lone present from the table with the tentative movements of someone handling high explosives.

Allura pressed her lips together serenely, the only one even trying to hold it together as Keith ripped the bawdy wrapping paper off the box.

The box was nondescript – it could have been anything. Keith sighs through his nose and uses his Galra knife to lift the flap. Matt, Lance, and Pidge are already crying with laughter, clearly in on the joke.

Keith immediately feels his skin flush from his neck clear to the tips of his ears. The plain box contains a smaller box, though ‘smaller’ is a figurative term.

The box screams “ASSMASTER 5000” and claims its contents destroy asses. Its contents are a fucking enormous dildo, which bears no slight resemblance to Shiro’s prosthetic arm. It’s black and silvery and has ball bearings beneath its metallic silicone layer. With morbid curiosity, Keith presses a button with a “TRY ME!” sign next to it.

The dildo, apparently also a vibrator, lights up blue and rattles the box with a vibration like a spoon in a garbage disposal.

Keith mashes the button to shut it off but fumbles it, accidentally dropping the box.

Lance is literally howling with laughter. Shiro, bless him, looks concerned.

Despite his apparent blush, Keith retrieves the box and turns off the monster. He aims a wink at Shiro and then affects an expression of horror.

“Did you put this in your butt?!”

Lance chokes on his laughter.

“Excuse me?! You think I would give you - I mean, anyone – a used ass dildo?!” Lance looks pretty affronted for someone who brought a sex toy to a white elephant.

Pidge and Matt are clutching each other, falling to the floor with raucous howls and snorts.

Keith nearly loses it. His lips twitch before he can control himself, and he glances at Shiro, looking near laughter himself.

But Keith is a mother fucking Blade of Marmora. He will not break. He will, instead, do his best to break Lance’s pea-sized brain.

“Oh, ok,” he concedes. “Well, if it’s in new condition, thank you. I’m just going to call it a night, then.”

Lance looks horrified.

“Keith, no!” he chokes out. “That thing will kill you!”

Keith flips open the flap to examine it again with a critical eye.

“Nah, I can take it.”

Shiro spits his egg nog across the coffee table. Hunk has joined the Holts on the floor. Allura is surreptitiously wiping tears of repressed laughter, and Lance is almost broken. Keith can taste it.

“Dude, I did not need to know how much your ass can take,” Lance splutters.

“Then maybe you shouldn’t have brought a marital aid to the holiday party, you quiznak,” Keith replied, aiming a smug grin at Lance.

“I just thought you’d like it, seeing as how it kind of looks like –”

“EGGNOG!” Allura blurts. “Lance, could you please get me another glass of egg nog?”

“On it!” Lance replies, already halfway out the door. Say what you will about Lance, and there’s plenty to say, but he seems to realize that he’s somehow landed someone rather out of his league, and he treats her accordingly.

Keith shoves the closed box under his arm and sidles toward the door, himself, not wanting Shiro to get clued into the joke that will reveal his apparently poorly hidden crush on his mentor and sword brother.

“Anyway, this has been fun, but I do need to get home, where I will not be doing anything with this monstrosity, so don’t even think it!” he warns, halfheartedly waving his sheathed knife at his friends, who are mostly calmed from their giggle fest.

“Oh, oh my god, ok, wait, Keith!” Hunk pants. He jogs over to his satchel and takes out another tin of what Keith hopes are his cookies. “I actually have one of these for everybody.”

Keith grins at Hunk.

“You are a god among men,” he replies, giving Hunk a back-slapping bro hug before taking the box of baked goods. “Happy holidays, everybody!”

He ducks out the door, his ears still burning a bit.

He can appreciate the prank, but he doesn’t need Shiro to get wind of it and feel compelled to let him down easily or whatever. He knows Shiro doesn’t feel that way about him and is content with what they have.

+++
Shiro balks outside of Keith’s apartment. He came to give him the present he’d gotten for him, a book which now seems like a terrible present compared to the lovingly polished gems and minerals from the desert that reminds Shiro of Keith so much. While dallying, he hears something that makes his heart take off like a racehorse.

It sounds like Keith is enjoying something... A lot. Maybe he did decide to use the thing he got at the White Elephant exchange. Shiro stops that train of thought before it can go any further.
Enthusiastic, rhythmic moans reach Shiro, and he stumbles, dropping the book. The moans stop abruptly, and Shiro thinks about grabbing the present and running, but it’s too late. Keith’s footsteps cross to the door, and he jerks it open, looking perturbed, his free hand clutching what Shiro recognizes as one of Hunk’s Christmas cookies.

“Oh, Shro! Hey, come in. Why didntya knock?” he mumbles, covering his mouth as he finishes chewing.

“Um! I - you sounded busy?” Shiro stumbles over his words, his cheeks burning with what he knows must be a blazing red.

“I – busy? What? OH.” Keith stumbles over his words as Shiro enters his apartment. Keith starts to laugh uncomfortably. “That’s awkward. No, I was just eating Hunk’s cookies. D’you want one?”

“Sure, thank you,” Shiro accepts to have something to do with his hands besides clutching his gift for Keith.

Shiro eats his cookie without moaning, though he can see why Keith was – it’s fucking delicious. Hunk has outdone himself this year. Honestly, it won’t be long before he has some sort of interstellar cooking show.

“Wow,” Shiro says upon finishing the cookie. “I get it.”

“Right?” Keith laughs again. “So, what’s up?”

“You left in a hurry, and I wanted to thank you for the gift and give you one myself,” Shiro explains.

Keith looks at the gift, something complicated flitting over his expressive face.

“Thanks, Shiro,” he says quietly. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I know, but I wanted to,” he grins back. “Here, open it.”

Keith takes the parcel from him and sits down on the loveseat. “Sit down, stay a while,” he smiles. Shiro sits next to him, and Keith immediately feels warmer from his presence.

He opens one end of the gift wrap and carefully slides the book out of the paper. His hand flies up to cover his mouth when he sees the cover. His nose and eyes burn, and he tries to keep it together. He swallows tightly against the emotions threatening to flood over.

It’s a young adult book about an alien trying to fit in with humans, a book he loved and identified strongly with before he even knew the truth about his mom. He and his dad read it together often before his dad died.

He told Shiro about how much the book meant to him, but he never imagined seeing it again. It was hard enough to find paper books before the War, and now it’s nearly impossible.

“Shiro,” he whispers. “How did you find this?”

Shiro shrugs, looking a little concerned.

“I was looking for it for a while, and it kind of fell into my hands in the marketplace,” he says. “One of the vendors knew I was looking for it, and xe found it for me.”

Keith sniffs loudly. “Thank you,” he warbles, embarrassed at his feelings leaking but needing to show his gratitude anyway. “It means … so much to me.”

Shiro moves toward him, and Keith clutches him in a tight hug. If a few tears end up on Shiro’s shirt, hopefully, Shiro won’t mind.

“Happy holidays, Keith,” Shiro murmurs, squeezing him tighter before moving back.

Keith finds himself wondering if Shiro returns his feelings. He is incredibly thoughtful by nature, but that gift is so incredibly personal and precious. It seems like a statement of sorts. Keith decides to play it by ear.

They end up hanging out for hours, eating leftovers and several more of Hunk’s cookies while watching old movies together. Long after the weak winter sun has set, Keith is yawning into his sleeve and Shiro feels like he ought to leave before he overstays his welcome.

“You seem like you’re ready for bed,” Shiro says in a half-whisper toward Keith’s head, which has fallen toward his shoulder for the umpteenth time.

“Yeah,” Keith mumbles sleepily. “‘m tired.”

“I should probably head out –” Shiro starts to say. Keith puts his hand over Shiro’s hand where it sits on his leg.

“Stay,” Keith says. Shiro looks down into his eyes, and he’s suddenly wide awake.

“Ok,” he replies unsurely. “I can – sleep on the couch, or –”

“No, don’t do that,” Keith says. “Stay. With me.”

Shiro swallows. It wouldn’t be the first time they’ve shared a bed, but something in the air makes him feel like this has more significance than those other nights.

“All right, Keith,” he says. He takes a breath and stands up, grabbing the remote to turn off the tv. Kosmo is with Krolia off-planet, so they don’t need to worry about his nighttime routine at the moment.

Keith grabs him by his prosthetic wrist, gently pulling him towards his room. Shiro feels like it’s a surreal moment. He feels both incredibly present and like he’s watching it happen like a movie.

“I have some clothes you can wear, if you want,” Keith says, looking back at Shiro, his bangs obscuring part of his face. Shiro reaches forward and brushes the hair to the side so he can see Keith’s face. It seems important, right now, to understand where Keith’s head is at.

“That’s fine, or I can just sleep in my boxers,” Shiro replies. “That’s what I usually do, at – uh, in my own bed.”

“Oh, ok,” Keith says, cheeks pinking a little. “Whatever works for you. I’m just gonna get changed and brush my teeth. I think I have an extra toothbrush, too. I’ll go look.” He grabs some clothes from a somewhat neat pile and heads to his bathroom.

Shiro sits on the bed and thinks way too hard. Should he get undressed now? He’s in a henley, jeans and his socks. He definitely won’t be able to sleep in those, but he also kind of doubts that Keith really has clothes that will fit him. While Keith has grown a lot in the last couple years, including the time he spent on the space whale with his mom, he’s still shorter and less bulky than Shiro.

He shakes his head at himself and shucks off his jeans, folding them and putting them on the floor near the end of the bed. He hesitates a bit longer and finally decides to pull his shirt off when he hears Keith coming back from the bathroom. He’s still clutching the shirt when Keith returns, wearing an oversized shirt – huh, maybe he does have some things that would fit Shiro – and some shorts that almost don’t peek out from under the shirt. Shit, Keith’s legs are long. And pretty.

Shiro looks back up at Keith’s face, feeling incredibly awkward.

“Um. What side of the bed do you want?”

Keith’s eyes snap up from somewhere around Shiro’s chest and he looks as awkward as Shiro feels.

“Whichever,” he replies. “Oh, I found an extra toothbrush for you. It’s on the bathroom counter.”

“Oh, thank you, Keith,” Shiro smiles at his thoughtfulness. “I’ll just go do that. I mean I’ll just go brush my teeth. Yeah.”

Shiro wants to smack himself in the head but refrains in case it would be the killing blow for his last brain cell. He thinks he hears Keith giggle as he walks away. It’s the cutest thing he’s ever heard.

He maybe spends a bit too much time brushing his teeth thoroughly and making sure he doesn’t have anything weird like boogers or an unknown zit on his face before heading back to Keith’s room. He doesn’t know what’s about to happen, if anything, but he doesn’t want to look like a cretin. Not when he now knows how soft and tempting Keith looks in a too-big tee falling off his shoulders and tiny shorts.

When he comes back into the room, the lights are off except for the small lamp next to the bed, and Keith is under the blankets already. He’s folded the sheet and blanket down invitingly on the other side of the bed.

Shiro pauses for a moment in awe of just how beautiful Keith is and how much he wants this view every night, whether it’s here or a cramped bunk in a spaceship.

“Hey,” he says, feeling lame.

“Hi,” Keith replies. “Ready for bed?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Shiro replies in a silly tone, and then cringes at his own dumb joke. He carefully slides into the bed, the blankets already made more welcoming by Keith’s body heat. He lies down facing Keith, who snuggles in, facing him.

“This is nice,” Shiro says, his voice shaking a bit, which is embarrassing. He’s faced much scarier things than this without his voice cracking.

“Mmhmm,” Keith replies, smiling gently. “You’re warm. You always are.”

Shiro just smiles, looking at Keith’s face in the soft light of the lamp.

“I had fun today,” Shiro replies belatedly.

“The party was nice,” Keith agrees.

“Oh, yeah, the party was great, but I mostly meant with you, here,” Shiro explains.

A cute blush dusts Keith’s cheeks and nose.

“Oh,” he breathes. “Yeah, me too. I mean. I liked spending time with just you, too.” He smiles softly at Shiro before he breaks into a yawn, covering his mouth with a hand that sneaks out from under the blankets. It’s unfairly cute, and Shiro laughs at him quietly.

“Shut up,” Keith smiles back.

“I’m not making fun of you,” Shiro insists. “That was just cute, ok?”

“Oh, ok, I guess it’s all right then,” Keith says lightly.

Shiro makes a happy little humming sound.

“Good night, Keith.”

Keith blinks at him, like a cat. Then he leans forward, almost languidly, as time stops around them, and kisses Shiro softly on the mouth.

“Good night, Shiro,” he whispers, his breath tickling Shiro’s face.

Shiro reaches out with the hand that’s not trapped beneath himself, stopping Keith from moving away. He kisses him again, lingering longer, memorizing the feeling of Keith’s lips against his. It’s better than he could have imagined.

“Good night, Keith,” he whispers, a smile in his voice. Keith reaches over and turns off the light, and they trade kisses more than a few more times before they finally fall asleep.