Archive of Our Own ^beta

Shouyou knew something was wrong. From the moment she stepped into his house and greeted his mom. From the moment she hugged Natsu and sang her old nursery rhymes. And from the moment she sat down at the dinner table, hands clenched in tight balls by her side as she maintained her same fake smile.

She was his childhood friend, they’d play games outside in the heat of the summer, and gossip about how annoying their younger siblings were with one another.

It must’ve been a shock when she asked for “Shiko” and instead of some girly feminine voice answering, his new masculine one did. And it had to have been a shock when he ran down the stairs and hugged her, with his breasts compacted in a tight binder. And god, of course, it had to have been a shock when he said he wasn’t just a tomboy like he thought he was when he was younger, but rather, an actual boy. But she made no signs of discomfort. No looks of confusion or disgust. She just smiled. And Shouyou figured that would be the end of it. It was just Shouyou, he was no longer “Shiko”.

But nothing lasts forever, and the signs just kept showing up. But she was his childhood friend. You trust those people with your life. He can’t just throw it away. So he ignores the stares from her when she thinks he isn’t looking. And he ignores how she slightly scoots away whenever he gets too close. And sure, he’ll ignore the chuckles from her when she’s texting on her phone and he asks “what are you talking about?” And she just looks him up and down, skeptically. And yeah, whatever, he’ll ignore the now blatant stares she gives him when they pass each other in the halls of the school. Because of course, who wouldn’t act that way when their childhood friend who was a girl is now a boy? And now that you’ve set up going to the same school as each other, meeting each other for dinner twice a week, and joining the volleyball club as a manager, why wouldn’t you feel a little uncomfortable?

But they’re childhood friends. And childhood friends stick together no matter what.

~

“Do you have a crush on anyone?”

“Hey, where’s this coming from?” Shouyou asks, flustered.

“C’mon, there’s gotta be someone.” She groans, laying backward on Shouyous bed and melting over the side.

“Well I mean, there’s this guy-“ He starts, but in the corner of his eye, he can see her face flinch, as if a fly has just landed on her nose. He ignores it. “I'm sure you know him, he’s actually on the volleyball team.” Shouyou twiddles his thumbs in his lap.

“He is? Well, now you gotta tell me.” She drags herself off the bed and crawls over to Shouyou, leaning her face in just inches away from Shouyou’s.

“Well uh," He stutters, "You know the guy that’s always kind of mean to me? The one with the black hair and bangs?” She almost lets out a chuckle at Shouyou’s description.

“Yeah~” she answers.

“I don’t know how it happened, one day I just sorta knew. And it was crazy because you never really expect that sort of thing to happen to you but then it does and like it drives you nuts and you don’t know what to do and- sorry I’m babbling”

“Well, it sounds like you got your work cut out for yourself.” She finally gets up to leave, flexing her now obvious fake smile.

But they’re childhood friends, he’s got nothing to worry about.

-

Shouyou had run late to morning practice. His alarm didn’t go off and now he was 20 minutes later than when he usually got to the gym. He biked like never before so he wouldn’t be any later than he already was, he quickly jumped off his bike and rushed to open the gym doors.

“-totally a weirdo.” Shouyou was out of breath but he could hear just the end of a conversation taking place. He’d run in on something. She was showing them all something on her phone.

Everyone turned and was now looking at him weirdly. They all looked.. confused? Scared? Disgusted? Mad? He couldn’t make it out.

He walked toward the middle of the room where everyone was surrounding her and her phone which obviously had something on it. He looked at the bright screen. It was a photo of the two of them in a sandbox when they were younger, clearly before he transitioned. His hair was in tight pigtails and he was wearing a long floral summer dress.

Shouyou stumbled away from where everyone was gathered. Thoughts rushed through his head. Why did she- Why would she- what made her even think to do this?

“Doesn’t she look just adorable?” She asked the group, looking over at someone in the middle. He followed her eyes and landed on Kageyama, confusion written all over his face.

No.

No please no.

He wasn’t supposed to know.

No one was.

This isn’t fair.

They’re childhood friends.

He ignored everything.

He made sure she was comfortable.

Was she really faking it the entire time?

Shouyou feels himself trembling and before he knows it,

he’s running.