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Chapter Text

"Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show."

- Charles Dickens

Hogwarts had been her home for the longest time.

Her first home in a magical world that took her far too long to understand. The first place she had made friends and seen what real danger could look like. It was also the place where she had begun to feel trapped, eager to go out into the world and do something about the maniac out there killing people for fun. Still, she had always imagined coming back to Hogwarts, doing one last year before becoming an adult.

Now, it stood like a ruin. The smell of smoke and burning bodies seeming to cling to the air even a year after the war – rubble all around the ground and the towers standing at an angle, held up by magic in an attempt to save them. Her home was destroyed beyond repair.

A sigh escaped her as she stood before the destroyed Gargoyle statue, her legs aching from the climbing the broken staircases, and her hand reaching out to touch the stone only to watch it crumble in her hands. She couldn’t stay here all day; they would be back. They always came back to search for her.

It didn’t take long to make her way into his office, just as destroyed as the rest of the castle, his many ornaments and books ripped and broken on the floor, nothing like it had been when she last came up here.

Yet his portrait remained, leaning to one side as though someone had tried their hardest to pull it from the wall only to find it couldn’t be removed that simply.

His eyes twinkled brightly at her, seeing her much the same way he had when she was younger, and his beard seemed even whiter than she remembered. There was so much she wanted to ask him, the questions on the tip of her tongue as she moved forward but they couldn’t quite form in the way she wanted – strangled by her own throat.

"Hello Miss Granger."

“Sir.” Her voice was clipped and he looked as though he understood, if the sadness settling on his face was anything to go by, eyes drifting to the letter he had written three years ago, clutched tightly in her hand. "Do you really think this will work?"

Her voice held hope for the first time in a year, twisting its way around her veins and settling in her heart until it was all she could feel, though it was tainted by anger. Anger that he could have told her this years ago, saved them all the stress and starvation. Could have saved three teenagers from running around the woods and the whole Wizarding world if he had just let them know.

“I sincerely hope it does my dear, you after all are our last hope." Her teeth set on edge as she shook her head and refused to look at him, to be his pawn once again.

How many times had he done this? How many contingency plans did he have in place even after he had died? How many people could have been saved if he had done this first, sent someone back with a clue? It wasn’t fair that he had kept this to himself and waited until the last possible second, that he had to ask her once again to sacrifice everything she knew.

Wasn’t it enough that her family was gone? That Harry, Ron and everyone else she loved were gone too? “Why me?” She asked after a second, finally looking into the eyes of a man she had once trusted to do the right thing, who was tainted in a dark grey.

"Miss Granger, you are the only one capable of making such a journey." The truth rang out around them, for who else could they ask when everyone was either dead, hiding, or in St. Mungo’s? She was the only one who understood everything they had done, who knew where everything was, but she couldn’t stop the panic and anger rushing through her. "I am sorry to be asking such a thing of you once again."

He wasn’t, she could see that much. Even dead and as a portrait he still could tug on her heart and make her want to do what she could to impress him. She wanted to fight again, to live in a world where her friends wouldn’t have to suffer anymore but she just didn’t want to be the one to do this.

Her hand clenched around the purple beaded bag, reaching inside to pull out the box that had been delivered to her not a day ago, the gleaming bronze time turner shining at her when she opened the lid. She could hear Dumbledore mumbling to himself, could hear the echoing sound of feet upon stone.

They were here.

"I'll do it." Her voice was harsher than she intended but they didn’t have much time to discuss anything else, five more minutes and they would be upon them and this whole thing would be for nothing but she couldn’t leave, not without asking one more thing. "What year will I land and when will I see you again, Sir?”

The metal felt cool against her neck as she rested her fingers on the small dial, his crooked smile and twinkling eyes seeming to hide yet another thing. “Turn it five times - we shall meet again very soon, and when we do we shall have a long discussion." Her teeth gritted as he didn’t answer but the footsteps were closer, and her fingers were already turning the dial.

The world around her began to twist, voices and screams around her as she drifted through the past, but this was different than third year. It seemed to last forever, her body twisting and convulsing as it did so, Dumbledore’s office gone from her sight and instead there was nothing, but trees and the starry night followed by blackness and a mind-numbing sleep.

Chapter Text

We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are - Bill Watterson

December 196 6

On the outskirts of Godric’s Hollow, nestled in the surrounding mountains, stood a manor overlooking the town, its back garden bordered by a forest and within walking distance of a lake. Most people walked by it every day on their way to the village, though none dared to look towards the house for fear of what they might see

Although the owners were nice enough, and their family claimed to have lived there for centuries, they had the strangest aura and the strangest names.

Fleamont Potter was often seen leaving his home early, dressed in deep purple robes, with a smile on his ageing face. His eyes, a strange blue-green colour, contrasted starkly with his pinkish skin and jet-black hair, seeming to look right through people. Despite his unusual appearance and middle-aged looks, he still had the ladies swooning at his feet.

Yet his eyes remained fixed on his beautiful and equally strange wife, Euphemia. She was often found in the garden or walking to the market with their son. Her skin was darker than Fleamont’s, more tawny. Her hazel eyes shone as brightly as her smile when she spoke. Her hair, tinged caramel from her work in the sun, was lighter than her husband's.

Their son, James, resembled his father in many ways, except for his eyes and skin, which he inherited from his mother. He was cheeky and seemed obsessed with a sport his parents believed he had made up—yet at seven, it seemed too detailed to be a mere invention of his own.

He had promised to show the local kids one day, but no one had ever set foot inside the Potter house or garden. No one had seen the strange creatures or plants that lived inside – or the wrinkly little creatures that wore clothes far too big for themselves and spent their days cleaning and cooking.

And no one saw the girl that landed by the trees with a loud thump and a thousand stories.

James

That stupid cat was going to end up being the death of him, almost seven years old and already on his way to a grave because he had decided that Crookshanks being outside in the snow was perfectly fine and didn’t at all go against the rules that his mother had given him.

A groan left his mouth as he thought about how he could be back inside eating biscuits and drinking Poppy’s beautiful hot chocolate, instead he was searching for a five month old cat who was grumpier than his dad without coffee. Really it was the cat’s fault, it hadn’t stopped crying and hitting the door, so who was he to stop it from getting what it clearly wanted.

His feet stomped in the snow and his bottom lip stuck out as he walked around his mothers many plants and towards the trees that led to the lake, he could only go so far unless he wanted to be sliding down the cliff edge which wasn’t so fun if you didn’t have a broom with you.

“Crookshanks!” He shouted into nothing, grumbling under his breath when he heard nothing. "Come on you stupid cat!" He added as he took a few more steps towards the trees, pausing when he heard the familiar purring and small cry of his cat. “You know I can’t - “

James stopped as his eyes locked onto the big ugly yellow ones of the animal, his breath stripped away from his as he looked down to the small girl Crookshanks was sat upon in the middle of the trees.

Everything about her seemed vaguely familiar, like they had met once before or that she looked like someone he knew. Except the kids he knew didn’t wear long dresses that covered them from neck to feet, nor was their hair a mess of black curls and their skin the colour of the snow they lay upon.

He cringed as he noticed the wet that seemed to be clinging to her, kneeling down beside her and pressing two fingers to her ice cold neck and sighing when he felt the steady beat of her heart below before a frown made it’s way to his face and his hands itched towards the crest on the necklace she wore, something so familiar about it…

“James Potter, are you out here?”

“Yes, Ma – come here quick.” He didn’t move away, didn’t even look as he heard the soft sounds of his mother running over to him, her wand in her hand and her wide eyes going even wider as she took in the girl before him. “I just found her here.” He explained quickly, watching as his mother knelt on the other side, passing Crookshanks into his arms.

Her wand waved and the girl breathed in a deep breath, eyes snapping open and sitting up with her hand to her chest as though waking up from a bad dream. It took her a few seconds and then she was scrambling away, her chocolate brown eyes more focused on him than the elder woman with the wand, something registering that he couldn’t even begin to understand.

“What...where…” Her eyes finally drifted to his mother and they widened in recognition, though she seemed just as confused as he was when the words left her mouth. "Aunt Euphemia?"

“Hermione, I’m guessing.” His mother asked softer than she had ever spoke to him before, moving forward and clutching Hermione’s hand in her own, her other hand coming to rest against the girls forehead. “Are you hurt, dear?”

"I don't think so." She answered slowly, taking her hands slowly from his mothers to place on the floor and flinching when they touched the snow. He couldn’t help the snort that left his mouth when her eyes widened almost comically before they turned to glare at him, only to be subdued by the shiver that ran through her body.

“Let's get you inside and warmed up, I'm sure Jamie has some clothes that you can borrow for this evening." Euphemia spoke without question, sending a look to her son who nodded his head in agreement, turning to look at the girl as his mother helped her from the floor.

He couldn’t help but wonder who she was. His mother had been an only child and his father rarely spoke to his brother and never his nephew. It didn’t make sense why she would be calling his mother auntie unless she had some relation, perhaps it was distant.

“Who are you?” James asked suddenly as his mother moved to open the back door, hazel eyes narrowing at his rude tone but Hermione just frowned, tongue turning over in her mouth as though she had to think about the answer.

"I'm Hermione Gr...Potter." He couldn’t help but frown at her stumble, though he pushed it to the back of his mind for now and stepped into the house, all but throwing the annoying cat onto the ground and watching as his mother began to bustle around.

"I figured as much."

"I'm Hermione Potter, daughter of Octans Potter and Marie Felipe, granddaughter of Charlus Potter and Dorea Black, I..." It was a practised speech, one most Purebloods had for when they met people of the same class and honestly it was boring, he could figure out the rest for himself.

"Merlin, I didn't need a whole family tree."

"James." His mother hissed, shutting the door they had left open behind them and glaring at her son as though he had something out of the ordinary but Hermione seemed amused, her lips curling up at the corners as though she too wanted to say something but wasn’t quite sure on what she could.

Neither of them spoke as they followed the woman to the entrance hall, Hermione’s eyes flicking to look at the frozen family portraits, making James wonder if she even knew who these people were or if she had just been surrounded by her Grandmothers family. Judging by her attire she was all too familiar with the Black customs.

"Euphemia, have you seen James...Oh hello." Fleamont spoke as he rounded the corner, purple robes undone and prepared to take off for the day, but his eyes focused on Hermione, stern and unsure about the small girl in their house.

"Yes father?" Grinning when his fathers eyes turned onto him and Hermione’s shoulders relaxed slightly. He couldn’t say why but he knew the girl felt uncomfortable, seemed to have too much happening in her head than she understood. "How may I help you?"

"I want the cloak back." His father spoke, his tone tight as his eyes flickered to Hermione again. James couldn’t help but stand his ground, giving his father a grin and sighing when the man tensed up more. “I won't ask again, James." He sighed under his breath before turning and heading towards the stairs, taking them two at a time.

“Oh James, dear, grab some clothes for Hermione please...Flea, this is -“ James stopped at the top of the stairs, peeking his face through the gaps and watching as his mother places a gentle hand on the young girls shoulder while his father made a noise of understanding.

"I know who she is." In short amount of life James had never heard his father speak with such sharpness, cutting off his wife before she could properly introduce someone but Hermione seemed to expect it, her face scrunching up like Crookshanks did. "You look like your mother, except the hair."

Hermione seemed to blank herself, seeming confused, her hand reaching up to touch her hair and seeming surprised at the perfect black ringlet she found there before sadness and wonder took over her face. "You knew my mother?"

"We met her a few times, I suppose we never got to say sorry for what happened." What had happened? James wondered to himself as Hermione squeezed her eyes shut, teeth clenching loud enough that he could hear them from the second floor. His father seemed to understand though, reaching forward to lay a hand on her shoulder.

“Well, now isn’t the time for this – why don’t we get you something to eat while Poppy prepares you a bath before bed.” Euphemia spoke softly, shooting a look to her husband and turning to raise her eyes at her son as her hand gently stroked the soft curls on Hermione’s head. "We can discuss everything tomorrow."

James didn’t wait to hear more, turning on his heel and heading off to find the cloak and some clothes before his father could come upstairs. He was eager to speak to Hermione and find out all he could about why his family would have to be sorry.

...

Hermione

To say Hermione was confused was an understatement. Biggest fucking understatement of the year.

It hadn’t taken her five seconds to figure out where she was. The young boy who looked like Harry except for the eyes, someone who she had only ever seen pictures of when he was taller and older kneeled before her with a very familiar cat in his hand and a frown on his face.

That wasn’t why she was confused. No she was confused because why was she a little girl again? Time traveller depicted that you went backwards in time not in age – she should have landed in Dumbledore’s office herself and not at all with another persons memories in her head and a prominent name on her back.

"How come you weren't named after a constellation or a star?" Hermione jumped as she turned to look at Euphemia, stood on the other side of the island with a frown between her eyes and a soft smile on her lips.

“My middle name is Dorea.” Hermione couldn’t help but frown herself, searching through the new memories. They were even more clouded and dim, from years ago. A tall woman with a soft face and an accent falling from her lips as she explained the reason she went against the tradition. "Maman loved Shakespeare."

It seemed true enough but Hermione couldn’t help but see her other mother too, Jean Granger, saying the same thing thought in English and clearer. And yet her heart hurt for both of them, stuck in the body of a seven year old, thirteen years before she was even born, in the family of her best friends father who she had never met.

It was rather irksome.

"Your mother was a brilliant witch." Euphemia spoke slowly, placing a bowl of steaming soup in front of her and offering a gentle smile as though she knew what Hermione was thinking. Hermione couldn’t help but sigh and frown. "Very beautiful too."

What she would give to agree, to confess that it was too confusing to think about a mother she had never known and the other she would never know again. That this Hermione was a bigger shit show than she was, and now she was here and there were questions being asked in Euphemia’s eyes and Fleamont had left the house in search of answers.

Hermione wondered what answers he would find at the ministry, whether they weren’t as corrupted as they would be in a few years.

Hermione let out a cough as she turned back to face Euphemia, gulping down the anxiety as it settled in her stomach. “Our house was attacked, I don’t know what happened to Grandmother but Grandfather told me to come here and see my uncle - “ Hermione stopped, frowning as she tried to remember, despite the fact that it had only been a few hours ago. “ - he gave me this necklace and I ended up here.”

Her eyes stung and her chest tightened. It shouldn’t have hurt like it did, almost like telling a story that wasn’t hers, but it was like there was a part of her eager to cry over the fact that she probably would never see her Grandparents again.

"It's alright dear, you are safe here." Warm motherly arms wrapped around her, pulling her in tight and rubbing her back when the tears finally hit her and her body sagged with exhaustion. Her life had suddenly become ten times more tiring and relentless.

...

Two lives was something Hermione had never thought she would have. In all honesty she thought that she wouldn’t even make it to the end of the war, let alone be the last one standing and the only hope left to fix the Wizarding world, and yet here she was.

Two sets of memories wrapped around each other like thickly twined ropes and blending together uncomfortably around her. She knew who she was, who she should be and what was real but it was hard to fight the feelings threatening to consume, the panic at every loud bang as James ran around in the hall outside the room she was staying in.

They had left her alone for the most part, only asking her to eat and checking in, but it had been two days of silence on her end and staring out of the window at the fresh snow and chirping birds. For once, enjoying the thrill that for now she was safe, not running or hiding, but in a house that she didn’t have to watch.

“Hermione dear.” The voice was followed by a soft knock and Euphemia sticking her head through the crack with an unsure smile. She didn’t hesitate to slip further into the room, seeming to smile at Hermione’s choice of clothing, James’ jumper and jeans. “I know you probably wish to be alone, but Professor Dumbledore has asked to see you.” The words were spoken lightly, hands tightened around the front of her robes.

There was a rush to run downstairs, to ask the millions of questions flooding through her head, and yet something holding her back, not willing her to move until Euphemia was all but dragging her along, holding her steady on the stairs like she was scared the girl might fall down.

Her hand gripped her aunt’s tightly, and a worry much different from her own sank into her skin. Why would the Headmaster of Hogwarts want to meet with a seven year old? What had she done wrong?

And yet is eased when she took stock of the old man sat on the armchair usually vacated by Fleamont, a steaming cup of tea in his hand, twinkling blue eyes behind half-moon spectacles and more auburn in his hair than she had ever seen before. He grinned at her, beckoning her to sit before him and ignoring the frown he received instead and the look from Euphemia as she turned and left them alone.

“Good morning, Sir.” Her back straightened and her hands folded on her lap, as though it had been practised everyday. Perhaps it had, she was after all Pureblood now and more was expected of her.

"Hello Miss Potter, or should I call you Miss Granger?" He almost smirked as he took a sip of his tea, eyes full of mischief as Hermione turned her head around to make sure no one was listening to the conversation. “I must say I was rather surprised to find a letter two days ago from myself, in my office, about some woman called Hermione Granger.”

“Sir -”

“I’ll admit it took me a second to long to figure out who Miss Granger could be when the only Hermione I was aware of was yourself, who on the same day as the letter landed in her aunt and uncles garden.” Dumbledore explained, placing the tea to the side as Hermione opened her mouth to speak only to be cut off. “You are younger than I described.”

“It came as a shock to me too, Sir.”

“I can imagine it did.”

There was a silence, hanging around them as Dumbledore seemed content to just sit with his tea while Hermione went over everything. She hadn’t even known about the letter, couldn’t even begin to fathom how her own Dumbledore had managed such a thing and yet this one sat before her didn’t even seem concerned in the slightest.

“Sir, this isn’t the part where you throw me in Azkaban, is it?” Her voice wavered as the older man look up in shock, not seeming to understand wherever she would come up with such an idea. “I illegally time-travelled and I am...well I might as well be committing identity fraud.” Her voice raised higher as he let out a little chuckle.

“Child, from what I have gathered, the war we are about to face is going to be long and ugly – you have a way to fix that and to give yourself a new life.” His words buzzed in her ears as he supped the last of his tea, placing it on the coffee table before them and giving her a gentle smile.

“I’d rather it was without taking someone else’s.”

“Did Hermione Potter exist in your time?” It was an honest question, one she could see he was curious about and one that she herself had to think about, shifting through foggy old memories that seemed far too distant at this moment in time.

“Not that I was aware… I feel like she would have been mentioned.” By Sirius or by someone who would have had a connection or relation to her but nothing in her previous life had ever given them any clue that there was another Potter out there, except for Harry. “What does that mean Professor?” She asked after a second.

“The universe, or fate, often places us exactly where we should be with the abilities we will need.” As usual his answer seemed to be in some from of riddle, a direct answer unavailable for the pair of them. “Well, I think that is enough for today.” He spoke softly, standing from his chair and moving towards the door.

“But Sir, there is so much we have to talk about.”

“I am sure there is but we are in no rush and you, my dear, should take this chance to be a child again, the grow and find happiness before times grow dark.” Hermione gritted her perfectly straight teeth as she followed after him, tiny fists clenched and sockless feet slapping against the smooth wood.

“What about the Horcruxes?” Dumbledore stopped for a second, turning to stare down at her with an expression that could only scared. Hermione felt her own mouth open like a fish, this wasn’t something she had just wanted to spring on him but something that should have been carefully planned and explained.

“They will be there when you are older, when you have spent a childhood the way one should, for now we will leave them as a distant memory.” He didn’t wait for her to answer, didn’t announce his departure to Euphemia as she came bustling down the stairs looking between the pair of them but simply exited the house without another word.

July 1967

"How about these dresses?" Hermione cringed as she stared at the beautiful and yet outdated dress before her, Euphemia beside it with a large grin on her face that quickly fell when she took one look at the girl before her. “You can’t keep wearing Jamie’s clothes.” Followed by a stern look.

Hermione bit her lip in protest. James’ clothes were something of a comfort, despite the fact that they hung off of her much smaller body and part of her mind seemed to long for pretty dresses and more girly things. The Pureblood side, she imagined, a side she had embraced without even really realising when she caught herself longing for the outfits the girls on her street wore.

Hence why she was at Madam Malkin’s instead of spending her day people with James. It had been seven months of Euphemia’s concerns and insistence that they have a girls day, now that Hermione finally felt comfortable and at home with the family.

“I like them more than I liked the black dress Grandmother used to make me wear.” Hermione joked lightly, wincing when she remembered Dorea’s stern glare and the words she would use to describe the Muggle clothing.

Euphemia pursed her lips, moving over to another section of the shop with Hermione following behind her , hands reaching out to touch the fabric of some of the items and settling on some pretty summer dresses and robes that seemed to have Euphemia approving, the smile back on her face and her hand reaching out to rub Hermione’s back.

“I think the blue would look lovely with your skin tone.” Euphemia complemented, handing the dress to Madam Malkin as she staggered towards them, a tense smile on her face and a pile of clothes floating behind her.

“I’ll get it myself.”

“Nonsense, what seven year old buys their own clothes when their guardian, who hasn’t had a daughter before and would love to spoil her, is standing right here.” Hermione let herself smile as the older woman pressed a kiss to her head and passed the money to Malkin, accepting the bag with a firm nod before turning back to Hermione. “Now, let’s go have a look at some books.”

This time she didn’t even bother to hide her excitement, fully revelling in the childish joy that someone accepted her love of books and was willing to spend money on it for her. Euphemia grinned down at her, gripping her hand tightly in her own and leading them towards the exit and avoiding the stares that were being sent their way.

The Potter’s hadn’t batted in an eye when it came to taking in Hermione despite the equal claim the Black’s seemed to think they had to her. They had signed the papers in a week and explained the adoption as though it was something they thought she would explode over but in truth Hermione had just grinned and thrown her arms around them.

These were people she knew would keep her safe, would make her closer to Harry and everything else in the long run. They were people she trusted and could...had grown to love in their short time together and people who would love her too.

A small gasp left her mouth as she stumbled backward, staring at the taller and familiar looking girl stood before her, kind wide eyes so much like her own and hair less crazy and lighter than her elder sisters.

Hermione didn’t think as she wrapped her arms around the elder girls waist, ignoring the scratchy feel of the familiar black dress, driven on instinct to hug the shocked thirteen year old as though she would never see her again. “Dromeda.”

Memories shone in front of her eyes, of promises that Andromeda would get them out some day, that they wouldn’t be like the rest of their family. Promises that grew further and further apart as Charlus rushed them to France in an attempt to get away from his wife’s family – only to ever see them two times a year for a couple of hours.

“Merlin, Hermione!” Andromeda Black cried as she pulled back, bending down to look her second cousin in the eyes, hands swiping over her face as though she couldn’t believe it was real. “I heard about the attack...I wish I could have – how are you?” She stopped herself short, eyes flicking to Euphemia and back straightening in an instant.

“I’m okay.” Hermione spoke softly, shrugging her shoulders and turning to look at Euphemia who raised her eyebrows and nodded her head towards the teenager. “I’m sorry, this is my cousin Andromeda, and this is Euphemia Potter.” Hermione explained, waving between the pair of them with a soft smile.

“Lovely to meet you Lady Potter.”

"Oh no need for all that, please call me Aunt Effie." Euphemia hushed, waving her hand at Andromeda’s curtsey, a small smile on her face as Andromeda blushed and nodded her head. “I am sorry though, as much as I am sure Hermione and you would love to catch up and chat, Fleamont is waiting for us and it wouldn’t do us any good to be late.” Hermione nodded her head in agreement, sending Andromeda a small smile as the girl moved out of the way of the door.

Euphemia spoke with a wave of her hand, Andromeda stood up at once, her eyebrows almost meeting together in the middle but she managed a small smile. "I'm sorry, dear, but we have to be off, your Uncle Fleamont is waiting at the Ministry." Euphemia spoke before stepping away to pay for the mountain of clothes, leaving the girls alone to talk.

“I’ll make sure to write, James has an owl that he will let me use.” Hermione reached out to grip her cousins hand as Andromeda lowered her head with a nod, her whole body seeming to shrink in on itself and her hair swinging in front of her face.

“Pish posh, there are no need for letters.” Both girls tensed as they turned to look at Euphemia, her hand waving about and a grin on her face. “Andromeda is welcome over anytime she would like, in fact, why don’t you come over this Saturday?” Her question hung in the air as Andromeda shifted from foot to foot, looking around and opening her mouth.

“I’m not sure my father would approve.”

“Never you worry about that, dear, I will inform your parents that we will be expecting you this Saturday and I will not be taking no for an answer.” Andromeda grinned wide, nodding her head and waving them away as Hermione reached up to take the woman’s hand, a happy smile on her face as she was all but dragged from the store.

Summer 1968

“So…” Hermione rolled her eyes from where she sat in front of the coffee table, quill in hand and a parchment with the outlines on the homework from the Potter’s governess resting against the hard wood. It was useless now, once he decided to talk then nothing else could be done. “How did Andy convince her family that the heir of Black should join her on these little visits?”

Hermione let out a sigh, turning her head to see him laid across the sofa, a snitch in his hand and his eyes on her. She stopped for a second, seeing a much younger Harry before her, feeling her heart clench and her eyes close as she turned back to look at her paper.

In the beginning it had been hard to pretend to not know anything, to treat him as though he wasn’t her best friends father and she didn’t know what his future would become but after nearly two years of begin here, of managing to find a way to turn off her old memories and focus on her life instead, he had become to mean something else to her.

A friend. A protector. Someone who needed protecting. A brother.

Which was why she felt comfortable enough to hit him over the face with a pillow when his incessant prodding and calling her name got too much. He didn’t frown though, just simply let out a laugh and turned to lay on his side as he asked his next question. “So is he decent?"

“How would I know?” She answered with all her nearly nine year old sass, trying to focus on the memories only to come up short. Truth was she had always been closer to Andromeda and the past year had only cemented their bond that much further, even if it meant she had to go months without seeing her favourite cousin. “I think I last saw him when I was six.”

“Well what did he like then, I need to know what to talk to the kid about when you and Andy run off and leave me alone.” James pouted at her, sticking out his bottom lip as Hermione rolled her eyes again and pushed his face away from her, chuckling when he huffed.

“He’s older than you.” James let out grunt like sound as she smirked at him, he always had a problem with being the youngest. “And we don’t run off, we can just only listen to Quidditch for so long.”

“Does he like Quidditch?”

“How about you ask him when he arrives.”

“You’re supposed to be my sister, why are you being so mean to me?” James whined in her ear, pulling away for a second so he could lean back and shout down the hallway, a smirk on his face and his fingers reaching out to poke her back. “Ma’, tell Hermione to stop being mean.”

“James no shouting in the house, how many times do I have to tell you?” Both children sat up straight as Euphemia Potter appeared in the archway, her hands on her hips even though they left traces of dirt on the robes and her eyes glaring at her son as smirked back at her.

“Try one more time.”

“Don’t be cheeky -“ Euphemia began, letting out a sigh and slapping his hand away from Hermione’s back and pointing her finger in front of his face instead. “Leave your sister alone...better yet, sit beside her and do your homework too.” She pointed to the coffee table, clicking her fingers and raising her eyebrows as he sank beside Hermione.

His mouth opened to speak only to be cut off by the roaring of green flames before them and Andromeda’s bright grin as she stepped out, pulling the boy that had been behind her forward and shifting Hermione’s whole world onto a strange tilted axis in a way that made her head feel funny and her heart begin to pound.

Reality was she knew one day she would have to face someone she once remembered but she just hadn’t prepared for it. James was easy, he was his son and he wasn’t, she had never known him truly until she became Hermione Potter and Andromeda had barely been in her life, it was easy to get caught up in the good memories she had of her, the shared distaste and hatred of their family.

But Sirius...Sirius had been reckless, he had died and she had mourned him. In this life she barely even remembered him so there had been nothing to compare him to, nothing to feel like she had lost.

Yet here he stood before her, staring between the three Potter’s with an aura of arrogance and uncertainty in those silver like eyes, hand moving between the black waves and a smirk falling on his face as he watched his cousin and Euphemia greet each other with a hug and whispered words before he moved forward with his hand out.

"Nice to meet you, Miss Potter, and thank you for having me." Euphemia chuckled as though she had been given a present, shaking his hand and bending down to meet him eye level.

"Lovely to meet you too, Sirius." Euphemia answered back finally, letting go of Sirius’ hand to turn to her child and the one she considered her own with a smile on her face as the pair of them stood up and waited. “Why don’t you two show Sirius the gardens while I start preparing lunch?” She didn’t wait for an answer, moving from the room and leaving the children to start their own way.

...

None of them spoke as they moved through the trees on the edge of the property and Hermione couldn’t help the frown that made it’s way to her face as she wished for the billionth time that she could be inside with Euphemia and Andromeda, talking about Merlin knows what, but apparently it was important for her to connect with her family, no matter how distant and unfamiliar they were.

Hermione sighed as she stopped, turning to face the two boys and watching as they crossed their arms and refused to even look at each other. How had they even become friends the first time around? Perhaps it had been when they were a bit older, a bit more aware and she wasn’t here to force them to talk.

“Let’s do something.”

“What can we do?” James asked, glancing at Sirius before turning to Hermione with wide eyes, gesturing something that was either very rude for his age or was meant to mean something that she couldn’t quite understand.

“It’s cold, do you not have something to do inside, like chess?” Sirius asked, turning to James and frowning when the boy pinned his arms to his side and focused on the other boy with his own frown and a shrug of his shoulders as he turned to look at his sister for help.

Hermione rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips, tapping her foot against the wet ground. “James is banned from playing chess at the moment after he taught the pieces some rather colourful words.” Sirius let out a small laugh and James scoffed, mumbling something under his breath. “Though...I’m sure mother wouldn’t mind if you used your brooms in the garden.”

“I don’t have a broom.” Sirius mumbled under his breath, dragging his polished black shoe against the ground and crossing his arms over his chest.

“You don’t have a broom?” James asked suddenly, raising his eyebrows as Sirius turned to glare at him, mouth opening like he was going to say something only to snap it shut when James carried on speaking at though he hadn’t noticed. “That’s ok, I have a couple spare, you can even use Hermione’s if you want, it’s my old one but it’s still pretty fast and she…”

The pair didn’t even notice as they began to walk away from her and towards the little shed that held all things Quidditch and summer, leaving her staring after them with a large grin on her face. Her heart beat a bit faster in her chest as she watched them laugh over something, previous worries and tension gone in the slight breeze.

Her good mood following her as she finally managed to slip back into the house, placing her shoes to the side and sliding her feet into her slippers before skipping down the hall and sliding into the kitchen where Andromeda and Euphemia spoke between themselves.

“I did it!”

“Hermione, you know a lady never shouts.” Euphemia reprimanded her softly, raising her eyebrow when Hermione jumped to sit at the island beside her cousin, swinging her legs back and forth and grinning at her adopted mother. “Now, tell us, what is it you have managed to do?”

“Get James and Sirius to get along – they’ve gone flying.” Hermione explained slowly, wincing when Euphemia’s eyes widened and she shook her head as she slipped from the kitchen quickly and towards the back garden, leaving Hermione and Andromeda alone in the kitchen, mouths open and ready to speak only to be shut just as quickly.

“JAMES, INSIDE THE GARDEN!” Euphemia’s voice carried and Hermione let out a small laugh as she listened to the boy shout something back indistinctively. “I DON’T CARE, INSIDE THE GARDEN OR NO BROOMS FOR TWO WEEKS!”

“He always pushes buttons.” Andromeda commented, reaching forward to grab a biscuit from the plate Euphemia constantly had laid out and popping it in her mouth before looking down at her dress with a frown, brushing away the crumbs and letting her hands stay folded on her lap. “Father won’t be happy I ate something like that, he says I need to keep a good figure.” Her mouth snapped shut as though she had said too much.

Hermione didn’t know what to say, she was lucky to be young enough, although Pollux Black was married off at thirteen to a woman almost twice his age, and out of that that she hadn’t experienced what it must be like to be a Pureblooded woman almost ready to be sold to a man for nothing more than to keep blood pure.

It made her want to tell Andromeda everything, to share the details about the life she would have not that long away. How she would love her daughter and husband more than anything, but how could she say that without damaging the fragile structure around them and possibly ruining everything in the future.

“I swear that boy is going to bring me to an early grave – try to fly around the roof like we don’t have neighbours.” Euphemia muttered to herself as she entered the kitchen, shaking her head and leaning against the counter before smiling at the two girls. “Please tell me that Edward has more sense than my son.”

Hermione coughed on her biscuits, laughing to herself as Andromeda turned bright pink and hid her face behind her hair. It seemed she didn’t need to worry at all, as some things never changed. Sirius and James were friends, Andromeda was either crushing hard on Ted or in some form of relationship and for the first time in a long time, Hermione was actually happy.

She didn’t have to worry about anything, not for a while anyway. She could what Dumbledore had said and enjoy the second chance she had been given.

Chapter Text

It's a funny thing coming home. Nothing changes. Everything looks the same, feels the same, even smells the same. You realise what's changed is you. - F. Scott Fitzgerald 

Wednesday the 1st of September 1971

Hermione had never been so excited or as sad in her life to stand on Platform 9 ¾, the smell of the smoke from the scarlet train doing much to remind her of her own first year. For years she had missed Hogwarts, longed to see it before the war took it’s hold, to see her home away from her home that she had cherished for so long with the air of death not yet having tainted it’s surroundings.

Yet her heart ached as she stared at the couple that had been her parents for nearly five years, who had taken her in and kept her safe – made their home her home. She didn’t want to leave them, wanted to beg to stay with them like a child, to go home with some hot chocolate and read beside Fleamont or bake with Euphemia.

Things wouldn’t be the same after this. The war was coming to a devastating start...and Merlin, Hermione wished she had asked someone how Harry’s grandparents died because she didn’t ever want to lose them like she had lost so much else – wanted to save them from whatever would happen so much that her throat closed up and her eyes stung with tears.

“Hermione?” Her head snapped up as she looked to the only father figure she had in this life, Fleamont, his eyes watching her with concern until not two seconds later he was bending down to see her eye level. “It will be alright, sweetheart and you know you can write to us anytime.” Her eyes watered more as she wrapped her arms around him, feeling to gentle pressure of him holding her tightly.

“I love you.”

“And we love you, and you will see us at Christmas but for now go and make new friends, and keep an eye on your brother.” He whispered back into her ear, pulling away to tuck a stray curl and giving her a kiss on the forehead.

Hermione nodded her head as she turned to look at Euphemia as she stretched out an arm, a grin so much like James’ on her face when Hermione buried her face there and swallowed the comfort like she would never have it again. She didn’t want to look at James, see the worry etched on every line of his face.

They had spent the past year speaking about this, since Hermione turned eleven last September. Their houses and classes, how excited the pair of them were to be able to use magic, and now Hermione was a second away from breaking down and no one seemed to understand why.

James let out a groan as his mother dragged him into her other arm, ruffling his hair and switching between them to place kisses on their heads and whisper her love. “Ma’, please – I need to go and find Sirius.” He whined, pulling away and sending her a glare that only made the three other Potters chuckle at his baby face.

“I am sure he will meet you on the train...it wouldn’t be wise to interrupt his time with his family.” It was said kindly but they all knew the truth – the family of Black headed aristocrats were to be avoided. “But yes,, you both better get moving – make sure you write at least once a week, and stay out of trouble – I mean it James.” The siblings nodded their heads, James all but pushed Hermione along as her head continued drifting to look over her shoulder at the waving parents.

A frown made it’s way onto her face as she caught sight of Andromeda speaking to her mother, waving hands and fast word that couldn’t quite be made out, her mother saying something with a hand on the teenagers shoulder and her eyes wide in a way that told Hermione it was something serious. She wanted to turn around, to find out what the problem was but she was pulled back by James.

“Andy will tell you later if she wants you to know.” His eyebrows raised and his lips pursed as he hand his trolley and her own to service man before he spoke again. “Come on Mi’, we only get to go to Hogwarts once.”

Hermione couldn’t help the smile that made it’s way to her face. If only that was true.

...

The loud chatter from the compartments almost reminded Hermione of the first time she had walked down the corridor of the train searching for Neville’s toad, her heart seeming to go in time with the steady rhythm of the wheels below and the smile on her face calm as she scanned every person, watching the old friends greet each other and the new ones find common ground despite the fact that half of them would probably never speak again.

A familiar laugh caught her attention, her head turning to watch as an auburn haired girl and a boy with greaser hair than normal storm down the hall and away from the compartment she knew her brother and probably Sirius were sat inside. She shouldn’t have left them alone.

“What did you do?” Hermione asked as she entered, frowning at the two boys. Her brother stared back with an impish expression while Sirius rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders like it didn’t even matter to him.

“I know not of what you are referring to.”

Hermione let out a sigh as she beside her brother, turning to face him with a raised eyebrow and ignoring the smirk on his face. “What did you said to make them leave?” His cheeks puffed out and his arms crossed over his chest as he fixed her with a look as though he was about to say something factual that couldn’t be disputed.

“The boy, Snivellus, just couldn’t shut up about how great Slytherin would be for him and his little mate, I couldn’t just let that slide.” He explained as Hermione clenched her jaw and looked away while Sirius picked at the seat below him – seeming conflicted. “Sorry Sirius, just you know… Slytherin is where all the dark Witches and Wizards go.”

“You don’t have to tell me, I am related to half of them...and so is your sister.” He pointed out as James cringed and nodded his head in agreement, seeming to eye Hermione up as though he wasn’t sure where she would go, like she hadn’t already thought of it herself.

Her father, her grandmother and her whole grandmothers family had been Slytherin with the rare peppering of Ravenclaw and Gryffindor among them, and whether she wanted to admit it or not, there was a few traits that seemed to have a lot more value than before. Her world had seemed darker and more aware that there was nothing quite so pure or quite so dark any more.

It had been terrifying at first, her world twisting into something she didn’t want to understand, and her brother watching her just made her aware that he knew she could be either too. “You aren’t sorted because of who you are but instead due to the traits you deem more valuable and use everyday – therefore you can chose your house despite what your family will have you believe.”

Her eyes settled on Sirius as he gave her a small smile, seeming to relax more into his seat as James raised his own eyebrows and stared again at Hermione, though this time with a frown. “So...you could be in Slytherin...if you are ambitious?”

“Nothing wrong with having ambition but how you use it.”

“Couldn’t have said that better myself.” The three turned to see Andromeda stood in the door, a grin on her face as her eyes settled on James and a singular eyebrow raised. “Are you worrying about being a Slytherin again, James?” Her face told the look of amusement but there was an anger behind her eyes that caused James to cringe.

“Nothing personal towards you Andy, you’re the best prettiest Slytherin I know.” He grinned awkwardly at her, sending her a half flirty wink from behind his glasses as Sirius guffawed out a laugh and Andromeda rolled her own eyes, moving to grab Crookshanks bag from the seat beside Sirius.

“I’m the only Slytherin you know, now I’m stealing Hermione so remembered to get your robes on after the Trolley Lady comes.” The boys nodded their heads, watching as Hermione was dragged out of the compartment to one of the more quieter part of the train, no one inside, leaving the two cousins to sit down across from each other.

Neither spoke for a second as Andromeda pulled the tight bun out of her hair, shaking the dark waves around her shoulders and letting out a groan. Her just watched with a confused smile on her face, surely she wasn’t dragged here just to watch her cousin rid herself of the Black image her parents had forced onto her.

“Um...Andy?” Her cousin let out a hum but she remained more focused on her next task which seemed to be digging something out of the satchel bag she had had on her shoulder. “I saw you speaking to Mum, is everything ok?” Andromeda finally stopped looking, turning to frown at Hermione, hands falling slack onto her skirt.

“Can I not talk to Aunt Effie?”

“Of course but I just didn’t think you would when your...our family was around.” Hermione whispered the words as someone walked past, a loud laughter ringing throughout the corridor as someone else ran behind them.

“My family have arranged that Bellatrix will be marrying Rodolphus Lestrange in a couple of months." Hermione nodded her, in had been in the papers and she had cringed when she read it. Thinking of Andromeda’s older sister did nothing but make her whole body itch and her mind scream in anger. “And with that...they have all but decided that within the year I finish school I will be sent to marry Lucius Malfoy.”

No, that didn’t make sense. In fact it wasn’t right at all.

Lucius was supposed to marry Narcissa and Andromeda was supposed leave her family and have her own family with a loving husband and a beautiful, if not slightly mad, daughter. Her heart began beating as she tried to search through the memories of Hermione Potter’s education about the common arrangements made between partners.

“You could always marry Ted, I mean you are both of legal age.”

“Like that makes much difference when you have a family like ours but no...I couldn’t ask that of him not when we are both so young and we have no money to even begin a life together.” Andromeda spoke softly, sadness filling her voice but there was something else in her eyes, like she couldn’t help but hope for it.

“Perhaps you could ask him and if not then we can figure something else out – I’m sure Euphemia and Fleamont would love to give you somewhere to stay.” Hermione spoke softly as she reached across to hold her cousins hands as the girl gave her a half shrug and a nod of her head, though they both knew she wouldn’t ask.

...

Her heart had all but stopped when she had seen the castle from the boats, a childlike wonder filling every inch of her body but being back inside, stood outside the Great Hall as McGonagall explained the same thing she had heard all those years ago, had made her realise just how much she had missed the castle.

Even as she moved forward, her brother brushing his arm beside her and seemingly a million different eyes on her from the four tables, nothing could stop the screaming of joy inside her head. Every nook and cranny was how she once remembered it, every line in the stone and even the smell did her memory justice and placed a large smile on her face.

Her eyes scanned the tables, trying to find familiar faces from Gryffindor at the far left to Hufflepuff to far right, even as she walked between Ravenclaw and Slytherin, to the long table of teachers filled with people she had never thought she would see again.

She settled on Dumbledore, the smile dropping an inch as his bright blue eyes scanned her and he gave her a faint nod and turned his eyes onto the hat sat on the stool as it’s fabric mouth opened and a song poured out of it..

"Oh pretty I am not,

But don't judge me,

As I'll bet you'll never find,

A hat quite as smart as me.

There is nothing that I can't see,

In those heads of yours,

I'll tell you where you ought to be,

If you'll surely put me on.

You might belong in Gryffindor,

Where dwell the brave at heart,

Their daring, nerve and chivalry,

Set Gryffindor's apart.

You might belong in Hufflepuff,

Where they are just and loyal,

Those patient Hufflepuff's are true,

And unafraid of toil,

Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,

If you've a ready mind,

Where those of wit and learning,

Will always find their kind,

Or perhaps in Slytherin,

You'll make your real friends,

Those cunning folk use any means,

To achieve their ends.

The round of applause broke Hermione from staring at Dumbledore, five years since the last conversation she had had with him and a couple of letters later and here she was, the weight seeming to settle on her shoulders and remind her just why she was sent here again.

His eyes turned to her once again, though they seemed sterner, his mouth tenser and she didn’t hold back the frown and annoyance, even as a younger McGonagall with less grey in her hair but the same green robes climbed her way onto the platform, picking up the hat with delicate fingers and staring down at the first years.

“When I call your name, you will come forward and sit, I will place the hat on your head and you will be sorted.” Her tone left no room for questions and her accent was just as thick as Hermione remembered, embracing her like a warm stern hug from an old friend.

A sigh caught her attention, turning her away from her favourite teacher and to an auburn girl now standing beside her with a look of relief on her face. The girl had a slight fairy look to her, small features and slightly pointy ears, she seemed small despite the fact that she stood at the same height as Hermione – perhaps just the delicacy of her features.

And then her eyes turned to Hermione, and bile burned the back of her throat.

Those green eyes, those were what she had seen every time she had looked at Harry, so full of emotions that he didn’t ever have to tell her how he felt. They had been the eyes that had showed her comfort and sympathy, that had curled up at the edges when he was happy and narrowed when he was annoyed. And she hadn’t realised just how much she had missed seeing them until she was staring at Harry’s mother.

It hadn’t been as bad with James, as much as he was like his son, there were differences and she had grown to love him, to look past them and smile fondly when he grinned like his son or said something equally as stupid as her Harry did. But this...

“Are you okay?” Hermione swallowed the bile as Lily’s soft voice reached her ears, her pinkish hand settling on Hermione’s shoulder and her eyes filling with concern.

“Oh...yes, thank you.” If Lily noticed the wavering in her voice then she didn’t comment but nodded her head and clapped for the boy who had just been sent to Hufflepuff, her eyes turning to find her best friend while Hermione tried to regain her breath and focus on who the stool would call next.

"Black, Sirius."

The Great Hall turned to whispers as the boy in question made his way forward, sitting on the seat and crossing his arms over his chest, face filled with defiance. His eyes found hers after a while and she couldn’t help with small smile that made it’s way to her face nor the thumbs up she gave him as he smirked at her.

"Gryffindor!" James cheered the loudest, knocking into the people around him as he let out a loud whoop and watched his best friend all but run to the cheering table, Sirius looking lighter than he had in a long time and waving to Andromeda as she shook her head with her own grin before he sent a slightly rude gesture further down the Slytherin table.

Hermione followed him with eyes, wincing when she caught the glare of Narcissa Black, pale hair done up like her sisters had been and uniform and robes perfectly placed just like the Prefect badge that gleamed against the candle light. She had forgotten to account for the fact that she would be here.

“Evans, Lily."

Lily stood as still as a Muggle at the end of a end, her hands clenched tightly in fists and her eyes scanning the stool and McGonagall. Hermione didn’t think twice, reaching out to take the girls hand and lead her forward. “You’ll be fine, trust me.”

Her eyes settled on Hermione, the tears all but vanishing as she nodded her head and stormed towards the seat, sitting herself down rather clumsily and tilting her chin upwards as the hat was placed on her head, seeming only to rest there for a few seconds and then it was shouting for everyone to hear. "Gryffindor!"

Hermione couldn’t contain her grin, clapping her own hands together and avoiding James’ watching eye and instead looking to Snape as he seemed to deflate, unable to stop himself from watching as Lily carefully sat across from Sirius with narrowed eyes.

Before she would have been next, or close, but now she was forced to watch as more and more students found their tables, slowly dwindling the crowd until a few of them remained, shifting from foot to foot and letting their nerves get the best of them. James was practically sweating next to her and staring with longing eyes at the Gryffindor table.

“Who are you more eager to sit beside, Sirius or Lily?” Hermione whispered, chuckling out a laugh when his elbow knocked into her stomach and his cheeks turned a rosy red.

"Lupin, Remus." Her smile dropped and her head span around to focus on Remus, lanky even at eleven though his sandy hair had yet to turn grey and his face wasn’t as scared as it should have been, though it was incredibly pale which most could chalk down to nerves but Hermione knew better.

It was a habit now, checking and looking over when the moon would full, staring out of her window and wondering if little Remus was struggling as much as he had done before. She had missed him more than she knew, her other favourite teacher and on some ways her friend, more of her friend than Sirius had been and sometimes in the dead of night she had wished they had been able to bring him along.

But that didn’t matter now, because he was here and he was about to meet his future best friends, and she would make sure nothing was going to happen to him. Not if she could help it.

A sigh left her mouth as James poked her again, pointing to where Remus was now sitting himself beside Sirius, the Black heir speaking to him as though they had been friends for years. She couldn’t help but watch them, not even as a pretty golden blond girl with icy eyes, tan skin and a smirk to revival Sirius’ sat down beside Lily and started a conversation.

"That’s Marlene McKinnon, her dad used to work with ours.” James informed her lowly, eyeing the blond as well before his eyes drifted up the table and settled on two other boys with similar hair and skin to the girls. “Those are her brothers, I heard they are on the Quidditch team – do you think they can get me a tryout?” His eyes turned eager and a grin lit up his mouth as another student walked to their table.

“Do you and Sirius just gossip like a pair of old ladies?” Hermione asked with a raised eyebrow as James rolled his eyes and Hermione clapped for the next student. “First years aren’t allowed and you aren’t even in Gryffindor yet.” She point back to the front, her mouth falling open as she spotted the person sat there with the hat on his head.

He was chubby and smaller than she remembered, in a way he kind of reminded her of Neville, watery eyes staring at everyone, those dirty strands of blond hair tickling his forehead, practically twitching in his seat but he wasn’t Neville. No, Neville had been brave, he had been loyal to his friends to the very end and someone like Peter Pettigrew did not even compare.

She didn’t have to see where he would go but she did glare at Sirius when the boy made space for Peter to sit down on his other side, eyes staring at Sirius as though he was some kind of hero and it made her feel sick and her hand twitch for her wand.

"Potter, Hermione."

If anyone was making noise then she couldn’t hear it over the thumping of her heart and the voices in her own head. For a moment, she thought she understood how Harry had felt to have eyes on you, the whispers that would probably follow, filled with rumours about her life though she refused to meet her prying eyes when she sat on the stool.

The hat felt like a dead weight, making her scrunch her shoulders and curl more into herself. It’s voice ringing in her ears as it spoke so only she could hear.

" I don’t remember you, though it seems we have met before...what a peculiar complex mind you have. How lucky you are to come and fix their mistakes… very noble and brave of you…”

Her eyes closed as it managed to make it’s words sound taunting, she half expected it to laugh afterwards, to be more cruel in the face of everyone else...to make her job even harder by placing her in a place where she would be forced to watch and looked at with distrust.

“Slytherin isn’t that bad, you know, many a great minds have come from there and you would do well with your ambition, it is a talent to be so cunning and to do what you have to do even to save the ones you care for.”

A whispered voice caught her attention, her eyes opening to see the impatient and worried ones of her brother. Someone who she had never thought she would have the ability to know, to save. Five years together, they couldn’t be forced apart now, not without reason or understanding, she didn’t want to be away from him.

“Perhaps he could join you in another house, for your mind is sharper, sharper than most… Ravenclaw would suit you well and a house without it’s problems would make your family proud.” Her head shook and a sigh left her mouth as the hat finally gave a chuckle at her annoyance. “It seems you only have one place in mind...better be...”

"Gryffindor!"

Hermione shoulder slumped as McGonagall pulled the hat from her head, scrambling to get herself off the chair and launch herself into James’ arms for a quick hug as he all but ran to take his place on the seat without even waiting for his name to be called. The pair jumped around for a second, not caring about the eyes on them or the astounding cries from the Gryffindor table.

“Miss Potter if you could take your seat please, Mr James Potter I’m guessing if you would be so kind as to sit down here.” McGonagall spoke, raising her eyebrow as Hermione nodded her head and ran to her table, sliding in beside Lily and high fiving Sirius who was all but jumping in his seat, eyeing James and tapping his foot.

Hermione grinned at Lily, noticing the frown on her face as she looked between the two of them for similarities only to find the hair and perhaps a similar smile. “He’s my brother, I was kind of adopted.” She explained briefly as Gryffindor table let out a loud cheers and James was joining them, pushing between Sirius and Peter with a grin and wave for Remus.

“I thought I recognised you two.” The group looked up to see a familiar looking girl, not much older than them with big blue eyes and a round face, she grinned and held out her hand to Hermione. “I’m Alice Prewett, I’m in third year, our mums are friends.”

There were many things that stood out about her, but it was the grin that told her who this girl was or who she would be until all Hermione could see was her sat in a hospital bed not even recognising her own son, tortured to the point of insanity by her own...well second cousin and yet she looked at Hermione like she didn’t even care who she was.

“Your cousins are Gideon and Fabian, right?” James asked suddenly, looking down the table for the red headed twins like he was looking for his idols, not even caring that the sorting was still happening and he was drawing attention to himself. “I met them once at dads work, they taught this trick…”

“I bet they did.” Alice spoke, rolling her eyes but there was a small smile on her face as she turned back to look at Hermione, softening slightly. “Anyway, if any of you need anything then just ask me or Frank, he’s in forth year but he’s always been good about helping – that’s him over there.” Alice said pointing out the boy who might as well have been Neville reincarnated, before she sat down and began speaking to her friends.

Lily sighed from beside her, a sad smile on her face as she watched Snape make his way to the Slytherin table, looking even more furious when he caught her eye. Hermione took a deep breath, and placed her hand on Lily’s shoulder. “I hear we share a few classes with Slytherin so I’m sure we will see him.”

Her eyes snapped to her brother as he opened his mouth to speak, glaring at him to shut up and feeling happy when he seemed to get the message, whether from her or the soft tears strolling down Lily’s cheeks, it didn’t matter.

“Why is she crying?” A girl asked, sitting beside the other girl, who bared a strong resemblance to Lavender Brown, that had been sorted and made it clear she didn’t want to talk to any of the other seven sat at the table with her. She was pretty, her coppery skin contrasting beautifully with her long dark hair and her deep blue eyes, but there was a sneer on her face as she looked at Lily, enough to make the bitter taste of dislike heavy in Hermione’s mouth.

“Her friend was sorted into another house.” Marlene explained as though it was simply, shrugging her shoulders and offering Lily a thin lipped smile.

“So? This is where you make new friends, better friends.” The girl spoke, resting her hands on the table as she sat herself down and offering out a slender and well manicured hand for Lily to shake. “I’m Emmeline Vance, and this is Jenny Brown.” She introduced the other girl with a wave of her hand and raised an eyebrow as Lily nodded her head and shook her hand.

Hermione cursed herself. One school time with Lavender was enough, the girl had gossiped none stop and spent a year with her lips glued to Ron’s...and then she died but...Hermione didn’t need to deal with her aunt or distant cousin or whoever Jenny was. Judging by the fact she and Emmeline were now talking about the girls brother and friends, then it seemed aunt.

"Welcome to our new students and welcome back to our old." The Hall grew silent, all eyes turning to face the man stood before them with a twinkling grin on his face and eyes seeming to scan every single person. "Before we begin I'd like to remind you that the Forbidden Forest, is, well, Forbidden." His eyes fell on Gideon and Fabian, staring at them over his half moon spectacles. "Also Mr Filch has kindly placed a list outside his door of items he has banned this year should you wish to take a look. But personally I would like to remind you all that while we take this time to learn and grow – it does not do good to forget to live our lives and cherish in the new friends we have made.” His eyes settled on Hermione for a second and her eyes rolled, turning away from him and staring at the plate set before her. “Now, let the feast begin.”

...

Hermione had been lucky in her life to have experienced the fine food people like Molly Weasley and Euphemia Potter made her but nothing would ever compare to the spread that Hogwarts placed before them, especially during the big feasts.

Her stomach felt fit to burst and her legs moved sluggishly as she followed behind the first year crowd and some Prefect whose name she couldn’t even remember. Her little group of rag tag friends she had made walking alongside her in their own sluggish manner and happy little mumbles and comments leaving their mouths.

“Sirius.” A voice called, the group turning to see Narcissa Black strutting towards them, a cold smile on her face as she took in the first years before her hand reached out to grab Sirius’ wrist and pull him away. "Cousin, I think we need to talk."

He didn’t try to stop it, his head hanging low as he followed behind the older girl, James moving to follow only for Hermione to reach out and stop him, leaning closer and away from the four pairs of prying eyes and eager ears. “You can’t go - “ Her eyes settled on Andromeda as she walked out of the Great Hall. “- I’ll grab Andromeda and we will speak to her… we’ll meet you in the Common Room.”

She didn’t wait for his answer but she listened as he ushered their new friends to hurry up and follow before they ended up getting lost. Instead she reached out to grab her cousin and pull her towards where she had seen Sirius and Narcissa disappear to.

“Merlin Hermione!”

“Narcissa dragged Sirius away…” Her cousin didn’t even bat an eye, nodding her head and following along until they heard hushed voices and could Narcissa bending over Sirius like some sort of pale snake, her eyes flashing and her teeth bared for all to see though her words were hushed and unable to be heard.

"Andy! Hermione!" Sirius shouted suddenly, a grin filling his face as he twisted away from his cousin to come and stand beside the two he actually preferred. "Cissy, was just telling me how much of a disappointment I am and honestly I think it’s the nicest thing she has ever said to me." Sirius joked, though his eyes flashed with annoyance as he turned back to look at the young woman.

“It does happen to be one of her milder insults and it grows tamer the more you hear it.” Andromeda commented, speaking as though she was bored but her hands moved to push the younger ones out of Narcissa’s glaring eyes. “Tell me sister, what is so important that you had to drag our cousin away from his friends?”

“Of course you would support the shame he...and she, has brought upon our house by being sorted into Gryffindor.”

“It’s just a house, Narcissa, it does nothing to determine the fact of family but rather what you value as a person.” Hermione explained as though she was talking to a child, a small smirk on her face when Narcissa all but lunged forward and pointed a pale finger at her face.

"As if I would want to hear your opinions when you have being corrupted by the filthy blood traitors - “ Her voice cut off as Hermione raised her wand and glared dangerously. Her hand shook and the candles around them flickered but Narcissa didn’t even seem to notice, pulling out her own wand in return. "How dare you raise your wand to me!"

"Cissy!" Andromeda cried as she moved forward to push her sisters wand down, turning her head to stare at the nearly twelve year olds behind her. "Hermione, Sirius, go to your Common room." Her tone left no room for arguments and so neither child attempted to stay, though they craned their necks to try and her the argument they had left behind.

They didn’t speak as they followed behind some lingering seventh years, a strange tension settling between them as Hermione realised this was the longest they had ever really been alone together without James there.

"Thanks." Sirius spoke suddenly as they stopped outside the portrait of the Fat Lady, waiting for one of the seventh years to finally remember the password they already seemed to have forgotten, his hand rubbed his neck and his mouth craved a strained smile. “Not just for that but… you’re the reason I’m in Gryffindor and I guess the reason me and James are friends.”

"I have a feeling that Gryffindor and James would accept you whether I was here or not." She spoke quietly as they finally entered the Common Room, her heart beating slightly faster and her palms feeling a bit sweaty for a reason she couldn’t even begin to figure out.

Chapter Text

Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it's faced. - James Baldwin

Sunday the 19th of September 1971

Hermione had never been a fan of loud noises, through war and what Hermione Potter had gone through, she just couldn’t seem to handle them any more. It caused her to grip her wand a bit tighter and her eyes to scan everywhere.

Even if she knew she was safe in the Gryffindor tower, in her own bed and the light was shining in to show the early morning. Her wand was already in her hand and her eyes were wide as she scanned the girls before her, the laughter falling from their mouths as they looked elsewhere, allowing her to lower her wand without them even noticing.

Her truck had been tipped sideways, the culprit of the noise that had woke her up, Lily half sat on the floor beside it and Marlene bent over in laughter, her hand clutching her stomach and her eyes closed while Lily chortled to herself.

“Good morning...what happened?” Hermione asked with narrowed eyes, her eyes flickering to Jenny and Emmeline where they stood getting ready for the day together, mouths pursed and eyes practically rolled into the backs of their heads.

“I was coming to wake you up.” Lily explained, a grin still on her face as she straightened the truck and placed the items that had been on top of it back into their places.

“Why?”

There seemed to be some sort of unspoken message between the two other girls, Lily’s top teeth digging into her bottom lip as she pulled herself from the floor and sat herself on the bed. Emmeline let out a sigh, rolling her eyes once again and left the room, Jenny skipping behind her and leaving the three girls alone as Marlene reached behind her and pulled out a wrapped present.

“This from us.” She handed it to Hermione, icy blue eyes on her despite the confused frown. “We heard James and Sirius talking about presents for you so we asked them when your birthday was.” Hermione let her mouth fall open as she stared down at the poorly wrapped gift in what looked like spare parchment paper and some string.

It had barely been three weeks of knowing each other, and though they were friends, Hermione hadn’t even expected a gift, not from them anyway. She couldn’t help the grin that made it’s way to her face as she raised an eyebrow at Lily.

“You actually spoke to James?” She couldn’t help but tease as Lily pursed her lips and nodded her head before letting out a sigh and grabbing something else from the end of the bed.

“Actually Marlene did because she seems to think that bully Severus isn’t a big thing.” Lily shot at the blond haired girl who rolled her eyes and sat down on the bed next to Hermione’s, crossing her legs and shrugging her shoulders. “This is from your parents.” Lily added, passing the letter and the small present to Hermione.

Hermione let out her own sigh and kept her thoughts to herself as she read the letter, leaving it between the two others girls. “That’s because Snape gives it as good as he gets.”

She couldn’t help but nod her head slightly in agreement with Marlene. Three weeks into school and already Snape and James, plus Sirius, hated one another with a passion. There was constant pranks, remarks and maybe even a couple of tame jinxes thrown plus a letter from her mother about why James had his first detention after only a week at school.

But Snape was a complicated character, one she couldn’t decide what to do with. She didn’t know the ins and outs of Lily and his relationship, only when it seemed to have ended and why, but now he was an eleven year old child with a huge crush and an obsession with the Dark Arts. He wasn’t the potions master who bullied children nor the double agent. She could only hope his path would sway without her getting involved in the slightest.

“Listen Lil’, Marlene’s not lying- “ Hermione spoke, cutting across the girls as they bickered back and forth, things becoming quickly heated. “ - but I’ll speak to James and see if he can lay off a bit, no promises though.” She pointed out as she opened the present from the pair of them, smiling at the simple but beautiful beaded bracelet, placing on it her wrist and showing it to each of the girls.

...

Birthdays had never been a big thing for Hermione, most of the time in her old life they had been left forgotten by her friends in favour of something else – though she never told them that, and her parents hadn’t known what to send or get her and instead celebrated with her before she left. It had left her feeling like the day was just another one.

Until she came here, well moved in with the Potters. It seemed birthdays for them were big occasions that required cakes and enough presents to fill her bed. A whole day about Hermione.

Once she would have hated that but now she kind of missed it. Waking up this morning had been amazing, to see friends willing to spend it with her, to have a family that sent her a letter and a beautiful necklace with a sapphire inside but it was nothing like her last four birthdays and she missed her parents more than anything.

There was so much she missed. Euphemia would say she shouldn’t be sad on her birthday, that sitting alone on the Astronomy tower and watching the sky turn beautiful shades of orange, purple and pink was far too serious when she could be eating cake and chocolates with her friends. But Hermione Granger would say that a bit of alone contemplation never hurt anybody.

The cold air and beautiful sky was doing wonders to calm her racing thoughts and aching heart, though she couldn’t help the small smile that made it’s way to her face as the door opened behind her.

“What are you doing up here?” He asked, feet slapping against the stone as he moved towards her, she didn’t look over her shoulder but instead kept her gaze on the sky and she felt him sink beside her.

“I knew you’d find me.” She finally turned to look at him, hazel eyes glinting behind his glasses and his legs stretching beside her own, though much longer. She couldn’t help the smile on her face as she looked quickly over her shoulder. “No one else came with you?” It was weird to see him with Sirius, or nowadays Remus and Peter trailing behind the two.

“Actually I had a bit of surprise going in the Common Room but then I remembered that you have never been one for big events filled with people you don’t know, so I thought we could spend some sibling time together instead.” He spoke softly to her, nudging his shoulder against hers and looking out at the sky while she stared at him.

Her brother was many things, a bully and arrogant if Lily was to say anything, but to Hermione he was everything she had ever wanted from a sibling. It didn’t matter that they didn’t have the same parents biologically, nor that they had only spent the past five years together, because she couldn’t imagine her life without him there any more.

“Thank you.” She whispered as she threw her arms around him, eyes filling with tears when she felt his arm reach around her back to hug her closer. “Thank you for being a good brother.”

He pulled back a bit, looking down at her face with a frown. “For cancelling the party I was throwing for you? You know I had a cake and presents down there, right? Should I just get rid of them too, since you seem to think they aren’t necessary.”

“Well perhaps we could keep the cake and I guess presents would be nice too.” Her face was straight as she looked at him, pulling away fully to watch as his mouth craved a crooked grin and his hand reached into his pocket, pulling out a beautifully wrapped rectangle, smirking when he pulled it out of her reach. “Can I have my present please?”

He dropped it into her hands and grinned as she opened it. “You know mum and dad have spoilt you far too much, what happened to the Hermione who never expected gifts?” She let out a chuckle and grinned down at the book on her lap, one she had been after for a while but could never quite seem to find anywhere.

“She got spoilt – though seriously, thank you for this.”

He just nodded his head and went back to staring at sky, seeming content to sit beside her in the darkening night while she flicked through the book. He didn’t seem in a rush to go back down to his friends who he knew were probably waiting for him and she could honestly say she was quite comfortable up here.

“Lily’s mad at you.” Fell out of her mouth before she could stop it, causing him to twist and stare at her like he wasn’t quite sure what she was even talking about. “The girl in my dormitory...redhead…”

“I know who Lily is.” Hermione couldn’t help but grin at the slight redness on his face, of course he knew who Lily was, even if he wanted to act unbothered by her. “I’m pretty sure she hasn’t like me since first met but that’s because she is annoying and up her own arse, and she wouldn’t know fun if it slapped her in the face.”

“I think it’s more to do with the fact that you’ve been pranking and her words bullying her best friend.” Hermione admitted as she watched as James sat up straighter, a sneer on his face that seemed to be a reaction to Snape, along with a clenched fist and narrowed eyes.

“And he doesn’t do anything back?”

“I’m not saying that, I know he does, but we’ve been here nineteen days and you already have an enemy.” Hermione spoke softly as James let out a scoff and mumbled something under his breath. She closed her book on her lap and turned to face him. “I’m just saying, it might be nice if you two could be friends.” His eyes widened and the sneer left his face to instead be replaced by confusion.

“Why is it so important to you that me and Lily get on?”

“Because I share a room with her and I don’t particularly fancy spending the next seven years listening to how much of a tosser my brother is without having to retaliate in some way… plus I like her, it’s nice to have someone who cares about their studies.” Hermione joked as she stood up, leaning against the railing as James copied her and lent forward, the smile back on his face now.

“So you just want someone to be a swot with?” He joked and her eyes rolled, once that would have annoyed her to be seen as such, but for now she couldn’t care less. Her love of books would never change no matter who she was.

“It would be nice.”

“Fine, I’ll make a deal – I’ll be as nice as I can to Snivellus, if you start being nice to Peter.” Her mouth dropped open and he grinned at her. She couldn’t be friends with Peter, couldn’t watch him betray them without saying nothing but it wasn’t like she could tell James what would happen when she couldn’t even be sure that would happen again.

Her smile was tense as she began backing away to the door, letting out a little chuckle and waving her arm while he stood and watched her with an amused expression. “You know I never said you had to be nice to Snape, just cool it on the jinxes.”

“Ah right…”

“But you, my dear brother, are free to do as you wish, I will not cast my judgement any longer and we will forget this conversation ever happened.” She pointed at him one last time, waving her hand and leaving him up there alone in her mission to run away from this conversation as fast as she possibly could.

...

Sunday 31^st of October 1971

Hogwarts library had always been something of a safe space for Hermione, the smell of old books littering the air, the gentle turning of pages and sighs and scoldings of Mrs Pince as she caught someone doing something they probably shouldn’t have been, it was equivalent to heaven for Hermione as she would probably get.

Though tonight it remained empty except for two other people who looked a second away from breaking down as they stared at the homework they probably had to give in tomorrow. She knew they wanted to be joining in on the Halloween feast but...for Hermione, at least, the idea of sitting with a bunch of kids all hyped up on sugar filled dinners just didn’t seem interesting.

Exhaustion crept up on her, from the lack of sleep in a good couple of weeks, and the words on the book before her began jumbling together as she rested her head on the palm of her hand. She just wanted to rest, just for two minutes, to just forget all the significance this date would hold in the future if she couldn’t stop it.

Thus when her arm slipped and her head landed on the book, black curls covering her face from view, she didn’t try to stop the closing of her eyes, but instead welcomed the sleep with open arms and a sigh.

This should have been over.

They had won the war and Voldemort was dead. They thought it would have been easy afterwards, rebuild Hogwarts and lock up his remaining followers, like they would just hand themselves over with open eyes – they had underestimated just how many people had sympathized with the cruel ma, in such the battles never seemed to end for more than a couple of days.

A constant stream of attacks and people still in hiding. The Aurors had called upon the rest of the Order, with the golden trio leading the charge and doing their best to inspire the people with promises that it would be over soon – except it got harder and harder the more people they lost.

Hermione hadn’t even seen Molly Weasley go down, all she could remember was her children and husband crying over her and the cackle of the Deatheater. Her heart had been going in her chest and her arms trying their best to cling to Ginny from their hiding place, but the girl was strong, pushing and pulling herself free until Hermione was struggling.

“Ginny...please...please just listen to me!” Hermione spoke to the younger girl but the redhead shook her head, furious tears falling from her eyes and her hands pushing back at Hermione. “This isn’t the time...they will kill you, Ginny they are too strong...please.” Hermione pleaded one last time only to end face down in the dirt, her hands trying to grab the girl only to fall short.

Her eyes watched, unable to move herself as the hooded Deatheater laughed at the weeping girl, dodging her spells as though they were nothing, flicking his wand and chuckling in pure delight as Ginny fell to her own knees, her wand laid at her side, all but given up with hope and with everything they had been fighting. Barely even seventeen and accepting death with a smile.

And then she was gone, like so many others. Leaving Hermione t o pick up the pieces of how Ron and Harry would take this as they fought elsewhere.

The Deatheater let out another cackle, waving his wand at someone else and Hermione couldn’t wait any longer, she gave up her position and watched as they turned to look at her, one third of the Golden Trio, the brightest witch of her age...the Mudblood.

She stared into the unfamiliar eyes, ones that were cruel and taunting, a smile lifting on his face as he opened his mouth to say something but she didn’t give him the chance, her breath leaving her in a shaky sigh and her wand raising to point towards his chest as she uttered the words like venom, hating that she even had to say them – that she even had to stoop to their level .

"Avada kedavra."

Hermione sat up with a gasp, her hands gripping the table and her breaths coming out in short pants as she tried to make sense of where she was. Her corner of the library seemed darker than before, the candles seeming to have been snuffed out, one of the two students still remained, his foot tapping against the ground and his eyebrows in a frown.

He didn’t seem to notice her, nor the tears that were falling down her face and onto her book. It wasn’t the first time she had dreamt of that night, though there had been other nightmares mixed in, but more the fact that she thought she was doing better and limiting herself.

It had seemed that been at Hogwarts, at accepting her life as it was and trying to enjoy her second chance at a childhood had pushed them away but this week had been worse than before. Nightmares of her old life, nightmares of the Blacks and Potters and of everything else mixed in between until the thought of sleeping had begun to terrify her.

A yawn left her mouth and her shoulders slumped as she closed the book, pushing it into her bag and standing up. The feast would be over by now and her friends would probably be wondering where she was, so with reluctance and tired feet she dragged her way back to the common room, ignoring the excited chatter of the people who inside and searching for her friends.

It didn’t take her too long, swept up into a pair of tan arms and all but thrown around until she was staring into the eyes of Marlene McKinnon in all her happy glory and shouting words, far too fast for Hermione to even comprehend what was being said.

“Can you just...could you -” Hermione began but Marlene was too caught up in whatever she was saying, her arms waving around, drawing attention to other people in the room. “Merlin, Marlene, talk slower.”

She was aware that her tone was snappy but Marlene didn’t seem to even notice as she grinned at her like they usual spoke to each other like that. "Scott asked me out!" Hermione frowned and blinked at her, the small smile forming on her face as the girl all but jumped around before her.

It was easy to forget the horrors of her nightmares...her memories, when surrounded by a bunch of children who could remain blissfully ignorant to the world around them. The war hadn’t hit them hard yet, not like it did with the older students who spent their days talking about the growing number of attacks happening outside their walls.

“Is Scott that third year in Hufflepuff?" Hermione asked after a second two long, raising her eyebrows as Lily appeared from nowhere with a bar of chocolate beside them and a teasing smile on her face.

"What other Scott would it be?"

"Well there's Scott Andrews, that fifth year Ravenclaw." Hermione answered with a grimace as Lily stuck out her tongue in disgust. For one he was much older than them, though perhaps mentally younger, despite the fact that he was in Ravenclaw, he had a habit of asking stupid questions and being found with his finger up his nose.

"Then there's Scott David, he's in second year..." Lily shrugged her shoulders as Hermione nodded her head, the boy was a typical twelve nearly thirteen year old who seemed more focused on having fun with his friends and whispering about girls like they understood everything.

“Okay, well both of you need to shut up.” Marlene snapped as they moved to sit at one of the freely opened table, Hermione reaching over to steal some of Lily’s chocolate, a smile on her face at normality of the situation.

She had never really had girlfriends before, so focused on her reading and her need to prove she belonged at the school had isolated her from forming friendships with her dorm mates early on. This time around, though she still studied and her homework was all done, and books were her first friends, it had been easier to hit it off and find common ground with the two girls before her.

Which why she couldn’t help the teasing smile as it made it’s way to her face, leaning forward and whispering to Marlene. “So when you say asked you out do you mean to be your girlfriend or on a date because we aren’t even allowed to Hogsmeade for two more years and I just don’t think the library will cut it for you.” She leaned back again as Lily nodded her head in agreement.

“The library is pretty nice.” Marlene tried, but her smile came out more like a grimace and her words were false. Much like James and Sirius, she preferred sports and laughter over studying and homework.

“Yes and it is also the place where people go to study and talking isn’t permitted.” Hermione bit back, raising her eyebrows as she gestured to herself and Lily as key examples of who would be found and could manage in a library.

“Not to mention the amount of people kissing in there and who knows what else.” Lily added, eyes going wide as she whispered the words while her cheeks turned pink but Hermione nodded her head in agreement and gave Marlene a pointed stare, watching in fascination as the girls cheeks turned pink and her hands twisted around her jumper.

“I know what else.”

“Marlene, you just turned twelve, we don’t know what else and we shouldn’t know what else.” Hermione pointed out, though she had some more adult memories it was something she refused to look at, locking them tight behind a door where she wouldn’t bare witness to such an act at her early age. “Alright, fine, then how did he ask you out?" She added when she saw Marlene glaring between them.

“Oh well...he...you see…” Marlene stumbled as Lily snorted across from them, turning to whisper to Hermione.

"He shouted it out across the Great Hall."

“It was more romantic than that...afterwards he gave me a Cauldron cake that he had charmed white to try and look like Muggle ghost.” Marlene cried, but her lips twitched as she mumbled something under her breath and left them to sit beside her brother and Sirius, the boys not even seeming disturbed to see her there with them.

“Is there a difference between Muggle and Wizard ghosts?” Hermione frowned as she turned to face Lily, her head coming to tap her chin as her friend looked for answers neither of them could really say.

“I think she means the people who wear sheets and pretend to be ghosts, or I hope she does.” Hermione spoke slowly as they both turned back to look at their friend, her hands waving frantically and a laugh falling from her mouth that even had sombre Remus’ lips turning at the corner and her brother, Matthew, who must have joined them at some point, cracking up on the floor.

Hermione couldn’t stop the smile that made it’s way to her face. This is what she had wanted when she came here, to see people happy and living their lives. To stop the death and destruction.

Her smile feel as her eyes landed on Peter, he stared back without an emotion, his lips seeming to curl into a smirk before the mask went on and he was back to chuckling nervously with her brother.

...

Wednesday the 3rd of November 1971

Hermione giggled as she watched the disgusted look on Lily’s face, while Marlene all but winked and threw kisses to her new boyfriend like there wasn’t a bunch of people around them watching the pair.

“That’s disgusting...I hope I’m never like that if I ever have a boyfriend...you have to make sure, Hermione.” Lily pointed at her with the end of her knife, the crumbs from her buttered toast sticking to it, as her elbow came out to hit the blond beside her.

“Ow, what was that for?”

“Lily...me and pretty much the whole Great Hall would like to enjoy our food without you and Scott making us want to vomit.” Hermione explained, the smile falling slightly as she caught the eyes of Narcissa from the other side of the room, watching Hermione like some sort of hawk, if a hawk could smirk and look snobbish.

Marlene let out a laugh, waving her hand and chomping down on a piece of toast with heavy jam before she pointed between them. “You’re just jealous.”

Hermione let out a snort and shook her head while Lily shrugged her shoulders. She had forgotten what it was like to be eleven/twelve, away from home and at school – to feel so grown up and yearn for things that you didn’t even understand yet, like having a partner and feeling excited every time you so much as pecked or held hands.

It honestly would be a surprise if Marlene and Scott lasted longer than two weeks before they were both onto someone else or swearing off relationships until their next crush came and took hold of them. The serious relationships would start growing in a few years, when feelings and an better understanding of the world took hold.

“Oh great.” Lily mumbled under her breath, eyes on the door as Sirius stormed towards the table, a pout on his lips and James trailing behind him looking more than amused, the pair sitting to the left of Hermione with Sirius now sat across from Lily.

It wasn’t usual for the boys to sit near them, James and Hermione had a habit of eating together that often forced everyone else into partaking but more that Lily tended to try and join later or as sit as far as possible as she could from them, leaving a good few people between them so she didn’t have to talk to James in any capacity.

"This sucks!" Sirius exclaimed suddenly, resting his head on his empty plate and leaving everyone to stare at him in confusion until his head popped up when no one made a sound and he was forced to explain his sulky mood. “It’s my birthday and I have to do lessons.” He whined, throwing his hands in the air and reaching for some toast.

“Happy birthday...I guess.” Lily spoke slowly as he gave her a half-hearted smile and nod of his head, biting off a large chunk of his food.

“Come on, mate, today will past well fast and then when we get back to the Common Room we can celebrate.” James tried to cheer his best friend up, cringing as he looked over the sullen shoulders to his sister for help only to be met with a shrug of her own shoulders. “Though we should get to potions a bit earlier...”

Hermione frowned as she watched James look down at his watch, a frown on his own face while he shoved food in his mouth. “When did you become so eager to get to class earlier?”

“Remus has gone to see his mum again, he’ll be back tomorrow, but we decided to be good friends and take notes for him.” James told her with a wave of his hand, spitting bits of his breakfast on both Hermione and Sirius, though he seemed to miss the tense jaw and knowing look of his sister nor had he seemed to have caught on to the truth.

Hermione couldn’t help but wonder when they found out, she knew it wouldn’t be too soon, but would it be by the end of this year? It wasn’t like she could ask or even say anything, her and Remus had spoken maybe ten words to each other without James around and most of it was a quick hi in passing.

A hand brushed over her shoulder, Hermione jumping as she saw Sirius swipe away the crumbs left by her brother, her own hand reaching up to wipe her face and to avoid the blush that threatened to flood her cheeks at how close her brothers best friend actually was to her in this moment.

There moment was cut short as a beautiful black owl landed on Sirius’ plate, it’s leg held out and waiting for him to remove the ivory parchment from it’s place. She didn’t even have to look to know who the letter was from, even as Sirius let out a sigh of disbelief.

“Dear Sirius,

Your Grandfather Pollux believes that despite the disappointment you continue to bring to our high and noble house, that we should wish you a Happy Birthday and inform you of the upcoming nuptials of your dear cousin, Bellatrix, as you will be expected to act in a proper manner that reflects our family .

I also would like to remind you, that while we may not see you for the next few months and allowing you to hide your in shame, your cousin Narcissa has been more than welcome in informing us about the state in which you conduct yourself in.

It is of highest insult to have learnt, my son and the heir of our family, has been colluding among Bloodtraitors, Mudbloods and other unworthy people that you would now even deny the help of your cousin. There will be repercussions, Sirius.

Though I will agree that you should keep the Potter girl close, perhaps you should remind her of who her family really is..

From, Walburga Black.”

Sirius grimaced as he read aloud, mainly for the benefit of James and Hermione though it was obvious that Marlene and Lily were both listening, faces pinched in confusion and annoyance at what they had all heard.

“Well she sounds delightful." James spoke dryly as he pushed his food away and shooed the owl that still remained, sending it off without reply as Sirius shifted the letter between his hands, his head bent downwards and his shoulders seeming tense. Her hand reached out to hold his own only to find him pulling away from the table.

She didn’t try to follow, didn’t say anything as James all but ran after his best friend. Hermione honestly couldn’t imagine how hard this way for him.

Her whole life with the Potters had been turned around, given her a better understanding of what was expected in some families, she was just lucky to have parents who went against the normal and decided their children were free to choose their own lives, partners and careers when the time came but Sirius’ own family was something else.

"What’s a Mudblood?"

Once upon time, Hermione Granger had had the same amount of innocence, confused despite what the world implied and who it was directed to. She had been so in love with the Wizarding world, a child naivety surrounding her and making her believe that here she would be different only for the idea to be thrashed down when she was just as alone as before.

This time she had been raised different, and the slur hadn’t been directed at her and yet it stung all the same, itched itself into her arm where a scar had once laid, the cruel taunts of Bellatrix ringing in her ears until she couldn’t hear anything else.

“Hermione?” Lily asked gently, reaching forward to touch the girls arm and frowning when Hermione pulled away with a choked gasp, clutching to her robes as though she had been burned.

“Sorry...I just...it’s not a nice word Lily, more for someone like you.” Hermione began to explain as Lily’s frown deepened and her mouth opened as though she wanted to ask more but Hermione cut her off. “It implies that those with Muggle families or Muggle blood are dirty, that their blood is impure.” It felt like a slap to her own face so she couldn’t begin to imagine how it felt to Lily.

“Are they right?” Lily asked, gulping down some of the sadness she seemed to feel and looking between the two girls with fire in her eyes and yet she spoke so sadly. “Do your parents being Muggle make you less of a witch?”

“Of course not, Merlin Lil’, you already top of our class – I think you’ve proved you are better than all of us.” Marlene cried, reaching around to tuck the girl into her shoulder and give her a grin but Lily’s eyes didn’t leave Hermione nor did a smile appear on her face even as Marlene let her go with another squeeze.

Lily was silent for a few seconds seeming to digest everything before she was leaning forward and frowning at Hermione. “So what did Sirius’ mother mean about you and your...real family?”

“It’s a complicated story, Sirius and I share a great-grandfather and grandmother, Cygnus Black and his wife Violetta Bulstrode, our grandparents were brother and sister, my birth father is his mothers cousin and also James’.” Hermione explained lowly, frowning down at her plate as her brain just seemed to remember her family tree as though it was the alphabet.

It wasn’t like it wasn’t common knowledge between people who were more firmly placed in the Wizarding world but it was just something she had never been comfortable talking about. It was easier to say adopted than to explain how she related to half of the school and more through a long, inbred family tree she didn’t even want to be on.

“James’ parents - “

“Adopted me after something happened with my Grandparents...they are my parents and family despite what Sirius’ mother says.” Hermione spoke quickly, placing her bag over her shoulder and giving the girls a tense smile before she continued. “I’ll tell you all about it one day when we don’t have class.”

...

January 1972

Sighing was becoming a new favourite hobby of Hermione’s with the rate she seemed to be doing it. At least two times per hour, or in this case every single second per hour where she was all but forced to sit on the bench and wait for her friends to enter the castle despite the fact that the train was long gone and curfew was approaching.

It was cold and the snow was thick and almost a blinding white, she should be inside with her brothers and friends but instead she was sat watching Marlene and her latest boyfriend, a first year Ravenclaw, speak lowly to one another and waiting for Lily to return from talking with Snape.

Merlin, she had no idea what to do about Snape. In her previous life he had been a bully, hated by many and a double agent that no one knew about but here...he was a child in a house full of Muggle hating idiots and a best friend surrounded by people he couldn’t stand. He was rude and arrogant, his hexed her brother and there was a constant smirk on his face.

The while situation was more complex than they realised. More complex than with Peter, a cowering rat hiding behind his friends whenever Hermione came along, but she could see in James’ eyes the lack of trust for the traitor – though a friend, he didn’t seem to have as much faith in the boy like he did for Sirius and Remus or herself. Without even realising she had damaged what would have once been a stronger friendship and she couldn’t help but smirk at the thought.

With another heavy sigh and a glare she pulled the black curls from her mouth, catching sight of Lily and Snape as they made their way to the entrance. She couldn’t help but stand as she watched them, angry words seeming to be exchanged back and forth until they stood before her.

"Potter." Snape sneered, sending one last look to Lily over his shoulder as he stormed away, making sure to bump into her hard enough to send her stumbling into her friend.

Mittened hands steadied her and furious green eyes followed after the greasy haired twit but Hermione kept her mouth shut, swinging her arm by her side and trying to keep the twinge of pain to herself. “God..he is just so frustrating sometimes." Lily finally let out, throwing herself onto the bench and crossing her arms over her chest.

“Hm.”

“You know how Sev feels about your brother, we all do, but he says I shouldn’t be friends with a Potter.” Lily vented, placing her face in her hands before looking to Hermione and frowning as she watched her friend wince. “Are you alright? He shouldn’t have done that, I’ll talk him about it later.” Her eyes turned to glare as though she hoped Snape would be able to feel it.

“I’ll be fine, I’ve had worse before.” Hermione mumbled under her breath as Lily turned back to look at her in confusion, her mouth open like she wanted to ask a question. “Also Snape can’t dictate your friends when all he can seem to utter in front of me is my surname but I imagine he’s just jealous that we all get to spend so much time with you.” Hermione spoke half-heartedly, trying her best to appear as sympathetic to the situation.

The pair remained in silence as they watched Marlene finally separate from her boyfriend with a wave and a happy grin on her face. The only one of the three seeming fully content in this moment, her finger coming to tap their noses, chuckling when they tried to slap her away with grumbles and moans about being cold.

“Come on my little Rudolph's, lets go and get us some food.” Marlene sang to them, the grin on her face widening when the tension and sadness seemed to break between them as Lily let out her own chuckle that people around them looking.

...

Sunday 30th of January 1972

To say that Hermione was scary when she was pissed was a complete understatement. Harry and Ron had spent their years flinching away from her, hiding behind scared looks and wide eyes, almost fighting against the air of crackling magic and eyes like fire.

Hermione Potter though was something else, a force to be reckoned with and a lack of reputation, which was why everyone was staring at her as she marched in the Great Hall, feet stomping against the floor and curls bouncing behind her. They whispered among themselves, waiting for what was going to happen and who she was going to tell off.

They didn’t have to wait too long as she shouted. “James, you little bugger!” Her hands slapped on the table, causing said brother to choke on his breakfast and Sirius to spit out some juice when her hands landed on the table beside them with a resounding smack.

“You my dear sister?” James asked nervously, eyes flickering to Peter who was a second away from Peter and then to Sirius who was staring at Hermione with wide and yet amused eyes. Hermione let out a low growl, causing her brothers head to wipe back to her and his brows to raise further in his head as he dodge the hand that came to grab him. “Woah...before we start manhandling, care to tell me what has pissed you off.”

“You can only manhandle a man, you my little brother are a boy – now get up before I drag you out here myself.” Hermione muttered lowly, a small smirk forming on her face when James raised instantly, holding his hands up in surrender.

“Oh no, Jaime is in troubl- ow Hermione!”

“You’re coming too.” Hermione snapped as she watched Sirius stumble from where she had pulled him from his seat, a pout on her lips that almost made her regret being so physical with him but then he sent her a grin and raised his eyebrows.

“I love the temper, feel free to use it with me anytime.” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively before groaning as James’ elbow caught with his stomach and had him bending over.

“Shut up, the pair of you.” Hermione bit out, storming out the Great Hall and knowing they would follow her. None of them spoke, heads seemingly hung low and legs having to work faster in an attempt to keep up with her power walking until they stopped outside of a door.

Hermione gave them both a cold smile as she opened it to show an unused classroom, reaching forward to push the pair in and locking the door behind them. They stared in shock, ignoring the glare that came from Marlene as she sat beside a crying Lily.

The girl in question had bright pink hair and an equally pink face, if Hermione wasn’t so angry then she would have complimented them on the colour changing charm that was advanced for most first years, but she was fuming, her hands reaching up to slap both boys on the backs of their head as they began laughing.

“Ow Mi’...come on, it’s pretty funny.” Sirius joked, turning back to face Lily as she stood up and pointed her wand at the pair of them. “Shit, Evans, listen it was an accident, it was meant to just be a cool charm, we didn’t know it would effect your face too!” He claimed, turning to face James who was grimacing at the situation.

“One of you is going to fix this, I don’t care who, but one of you is!” Lily all but screamed at them as more tears appeared and her bottom lip wobbled, she fell back with a whimper, leaning into Marlene as the girl brought her in for a tight hug. “This is the worst birthday ever.” She added as a afterthought.

Hermione couldn’t help but smirk as both boys turned pale and their mouths opened like fishes, her hands falling to rest on their shoulders and full on grinning when they flinched. “Hear that boys, you’ve gone and ruined Lily’s birthday for a stupid prank – you know if I was her then I would hex you both or better yet, make sure McGonagall knew who it really was who hexed Jack Davids.” The boys gulped and looked between each other.

James moved forward with his hands raised, staring at Lily, his voice shaking as he spoke. “Listen Lily, we are really sorry and we will make this up to you but...but we don’t know to reverse the spell.”

“You don’t know how to reverse the spell?” Lily shrieked, moving forward as both boys hid behind Hermione, eyes wide and hands holding her there so Lily couldn’t get to them. “Get out both of you, and don’t speak to me again!”

Neither needed to be told twice, waiting until Hermione opened the door and then they were running away like the scared little boys they were, leaving the three girls alone in the classroom where they remained silent until Lily broke out in giggles, sitting herself down on the desk and wiping underneath her eyes as Hermione and Marlene began laughing too.

“Best birthday present ever!” Lily cried, the tears long gone from her face and instead replaced with the happiest grin as she sighed and stared into the distance while she spoke. “I’ve never seen either of them look so scared.” Hermione couldn’t help the laugh that fell from her own throat in agreement.

“I know...hats off to both of you for being magnificent actresses.” Marlene applauded them, nodding her head while Hermione curtsied and Lily bowed her head.

“Well it is kind of easy to be annoyed at them, I mean they did do this to me, though they should have planned it quieter.” Lily spoke with a roll of her eyes before she grimaced as she touched her hair, shaking her head and turning back to Hermione who whispered the reverse incantation and watched as Lily returned to auburn hair and only pink tinged skin.

“So what do you think they’ll do to make it up to her or do you think they’ll actually not speak to her again?” Marlene asked suddenly as Lily shifted in her seat, a small frown on her face though she seemed unaware of it, almost like she didn’t want them to leave her alone.

“Not a chance, Sirius maybe but James would probably rather stab his eyes out even if he won’t admit it – I imagine there is going to be some sort of celebration when we get back with gifts they either stole from Remus or didn’t use themselves.” Hermione explained with a shrug of her shoulders as Lily blushed and mumbled something under breath.

Hours later when they returned to the Common Room, Hermione couldn’t keep the ‘I-told-you-so’ look off of her face when Lily was presented with a whole cake, some books that she was sure were taken from her brothers suitcase and a fancy quill that Hermione knew because her parents had bought her a set of the same ones.

Though the kindness lasted a whole week before the boys were back to being their usual selves.

...

Friday 10th of March 1972

Remus stared at her in shock as he opened the present timidly. "You got me chocolate?" He asked after a second but his light green eyes were alight with amazement and Hermione couldn’t help but think this was the longest he had ever looked at her without blush covering his cheeks or his eyes flickering somewhere else.

It hurt her that they weren’t that close. In her old life she had valued him, thought of him as a friend despite the age difference and someone she could trust but this Remus was a child, he was timid and scared of most people, it had taken him weeks to open up to James and Sirius, let alone be able to hold a conversation with herself.

She knew it would take a while but she was willing to wait, to slowly earn his trust and friendship. Judging by the grin he gave her as he placed a piece of chocolate in his mouth, they were already half-way there. Who knew it was that simple?

“You know you’ve never made that face when I’ve given you chocolate, I am very offended.” Sirius grumbled as he pointed to the doppy smile and relaxed expression on Remus’ face before he grinned and raised an eyebrow. “I thought it was reserved for tea, though you must make an exception for Hermione.” There was something else to his tone, an edge that had the table shifting.

Hermione gave a tight smile, stomping her foot on Sirius’ as Remus’ smile dropped and his cheeks turned red, no longer looking at Hermione. “Who can blame him, a good cup of tea cures everything.” As if to make a point she raised her own cup to her lips and gave an exaggerated sigh, grinning when Lily copied her. “You should try it for your leg.”

Sirius grumbled something under his breath as Hermione smiled sweetly, reaching out to place her hand on top of the coffee before Marlene could grab it while Lily shook her head.

“No Marly, not after last time.” Lily spoke lowly, scolding the girl as though she was a child, amused as the girl rolled her eyes and went back to her food like it was nothing while Hermione and Lily looked towards each other.

None of them had touched the coffee in their nearly year of being here, being eleven/twelve had it’s perks that they had more energy and little use for a drink until the end of year exams began creeping up and studying had become later and later (though not for Hermione) and thus the seemingly constant feeling of tiredness set in.

All it took was Marlene having two cups filled with sugar to put them all off it. The girl was unstoppable, all but jumping on the table and screaming for everyone to hear, far too much energy that needed to be burnt off by taking her for a walk by the lake until she tired herself out and they had to drag her to bed. Now there was a ban until she could handle the stimulant.

“Anyway, what else did the birthday boy get?” Lily turned to ask Remus, a softer smile on her face as she leaned forward. His eyes flickered to hers, gulping and clasping his hands on his lap, before he gave her a soft smile and shrugged his shoulders.

“A few books.”

“You know Evans, you didn’t ask me that on my birthday.” Sirius cried on, glaring at her as the girl in question narrowed her eyes and clucked her tongue.

“That’s because I don’t like you.” Sirius let out a gasp, holding his hand to his chest before he let out a laugh and leaned across the table, staring Lily in the eyes as the girl leaned backwards with a grimace. “What are you doing?”

“I know you secretly love me, Lily-flower.” He whispered winking at her and chuckling as he sat back down to see the blush on her cheeks and the anger in her eyes. His eyes turned to Hermione as raised her own eyebrows at him, fork stabbed into her food and sent her his own. “Don’t worry, Hermione, you are still my favourite – soon though I’ll be fighting off girls with a broom, so you better decide between you who wants me now.”

The girls groaned, looking to each other before smirking as they reached to throw their food at his face, fighting to keep the smiles when a spoon of beans hit him square in the face and he let out a girlish shriek. Remus chuckled loudly, egging both girls on without them realising until soon the great food fight of 1972 took place and the first year Gryffindors ended up in detention.

...

Monday 27th of March 1972

Hermione loved her brother. He was her other half, as cheesy as that sounded, but she should have known that he would make a big deal about his birthday. He was twelve for Merlin’s sake, but yet here they all were stood in the common room, staring around and wondering how he had even managed to pull this off.

Posters of his face hung everywhere, grinning down at them and making Hermione feel nauseous. One James was bad enough but twenty of him sounded like some kind of nightmare.

“Do you think this is what the inside of his head looks like?” Marlene asked in disgust as she looked around the room while Hermione nodded her head in agreement and Lily made a sound of disgust, leaning forward so only the pair of them could hear.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if this is what his world looked like...all of us with his face, oh God I might be sick.”

“Keep that vomit inside, Evansie, no one is throwing up on my birthday.” James spoke with a grin, pointing at the girl before turning to his sister and clapping his hands together excitedly as he reached forward. “Oh yay, presents!” He grinned as he took the present from her, shaking it in his hands and frowning when it rattled.

Hermione rolled her eyes as he opened the gift, laughing excitedly at the broom cleaning kit she had got him. She watched over her shoulder as Sirius spoke to some girl, smirking and leaning against the wall, Remus sat next to him at the table, sleeping on his arms, exhausted as the moon drew closer and closer, and Peter shivered with either nerves or excitement.

“Thanks ‘Mi...so what do you girls think?” He gestured around him and raised an eyebrow, smirking at the three before he sauntered closer to Lily. “I know you are impressed, Evans.”

“I really am.” Lily spoke softly back as James’ eyes widened and a large grin took over his face but then Lily smirked and her eyes glistened. “Just when I thought your ego and your head couldn’t get any bigger, you go and prove me wrong.” Her hand reached up to pat his head as she moved away to speak to some other mutual friends leaving Hermione giggling behind her hand.

The party continued for a few more hours, most retiring for bed due to the fact they had early lessons in the morning, leaving just a few stranglers and their little group around the fire, watching as James opened his presents with grins, throwing things between his friends and laughing when Remus stared down happily at the large amount of chocolate growing beside him.

It wasn’t until he reached the last present, simply signed with ‘from your friends’, that whole group seemed to perk up. James didn’t even seem to realise, or maybe he was used to the smirk on Sirius’ face, nor how Remus had slunk off and the girls were looking between themselves in confusion.

“You guys you didn’t have to- “ He didn’t finish as the moment he lifted the lid, whatever had been inside exploded, sending a mixture of cake and what looked like glitter over the boy and some over the rest of the group. “You’re all dead.”

The girl didn’t waste no time, scrambling towards the stairs, pushing Sirius back onto the sofa before he could escape and laughing as James tripped over his own feet in an attempt to grab his best friend. The listened as Sirius let out a high pitched scream, laughter falling from their mouths not even stopping as James stood at the bottom of the stairs glaring up at them.

June 1972

Hermione tensed her jaw as she entered Dumbledore’s office. It was the same as it had been before the war, everything in their perfectly misplaced areas and she couldn’t stop her hand from running over the books, staring at their titles and stopping when she landed on one.

"I take it you've been to my office before, Miss Potter, I do hope it wasn't for anything troublesome." Hermione flinched as she turned to see Dumbledore sat behind his desk. Hermione gulped as she turned away from the books and began walking towards the headmaster, smiling as her eyes landed on Fawkes, a soft squawk leaving his mouth.

“Of course, Sir, though never for anything serious.” Hermione indulged him, moving towards Fawkes and smiling as he rested his warm head against her palm, almost purring like Crookshanks did when he rested on her lap. “Have I done something wrong now?”

Dumbledore let out a chuckle, gesturing to the chair on the other side of his desk and waiting until she sat to speak to her. “No my dear, the opposite in fact, would you like some tea?” He asked, handing her the mug and smiling when she smelled the liquid carefully. “I haven’t put anything in it, Miss Potter, it is perfectly safe to drink.” As if to prove it he took a long pull from his own and smacked his lips, watching her with knowing eyes until she did the same.

“Why am I here, Sir?”

“It isn’t often that a student catches my attention, though of course you aren’t a normal student.” His eyes twinkled at her and Hermione fought the frown on her face as she thought of Harry and Voldemort, and now herself – all of watched under the Great Dumbledore. “Your teachers are rather impressed with you, your homework and grades are outstanding, surpassing any student and yet they claim you are uninterested in class...almost bored.”

“Not bored...perhaps a little but may I remind you, Professor that I have done this before.” Dumbledore chuckled at her annoyed tone while Hermione lumped further back into her chair, eyes staring longing towards the door over her shoulder.

“I am aware, it must be very tedious, but I must remind you that while a part of you remembers your old life, your body and the you now have never possessed magic that you have tasted and so I must ask for your patience and suggest that you take these years are a refresher and a chance to have fun with friends without the weight of studies on your back.” He looked over at her with his half moon spectacles and raised his eyebrows as she clucked her tongue in the back of her mouth.

Hermione nodded her head finally, standing up to leave, her best towards her headmaster and her teeth gritting together when Fawkes let out a slow whine and she turned back, storming up the steps and glaring down at the old man who only seemed amused. “Professor, I have been nothing but patient, I have spent the past nearly six years without any form of contact from you and unable to do what I was sent here to do.”

“You are merely a twelve year old girl, now is not the time for you to be fighting a war.” Her mouth opened to fight him, to remind him of what she had already been through but he cut her off with a wave of his hand. “There is a reason you were sent back when you were to the Potters, I believe you know that reason.”

Of course Hermione knew what that reason was. The person who was responsible for all of Harry’s sadness, in a way that Voldemort couldn’t even claim. The person who had sold all her friends out after knowing them for ten years, because he was scared or he believed in the cause. The one who she still couldn’t stop her brother nor Sirius and Remus from befriending.

Admittedly she hadn’t tried her hardest but instead hoped that settling on disliking the boy would have changed their minds, changed her brothers mind, instead it had just become an unresolved issue between them.

“I guess I failed in that regard, Sir.”

“There is still time to stop the butterfly from flapping his wings and creating a tsunami.” Hermione rolled her eyes again and stood straight, crossing her arms over her chest and ignoring his stupid analogy. “Though perhaps some things are not meant to be changed, perhaps we can’t stop moments that are supposed to happen.”

Hermione felt her blood run cold as she narrowed her eyes at the old man, his eyes no longer twinkling and the small smile having fallen from his face as she shook her head. “Professor, you can’t believe that when I was sent back here to stop these very things and to defeat Voldemort before things get even worse.” Her voice rose and she was suddenly reminded of how young she was, how a child was all but snapping at her teacher.

He smirked slightly at her, standing up and moving around the desk to stare down at her. “Time is a loop Miss Potter, who is to say that this all hasn’t played out before, that no matter what you do, things will end the same?”

“I do!” Hermione shouted, growling from her mouth as the stupid smile didn’t leave his mouth and the temptation to slap it off grew as strong as her dwindling respect for the man. “Hermione Potter never existed before but here I am, trust me I know some people who would have told me about her, and I refuse to let any of my friends go through what I know can happen...I will stop this war because I am the only one who knows how.” His eyebrows raised at her and Hermione let out a deep shaking breath.

“Then in your certainty I am sure you will find a way to deal with Mr Pettigrew before he becomes an issue.” Hermione wanted to ask how he knew but her stayed closed and her defensive walls flew up, stronger than before, pushing him out of her head. “You have time for everything else, think of this as your first mission though nothing needs to be done urgently, if you believe you can truly change things then he can still be redeemed.” He spoke softly and moved back around the desk to sit in his chair and offer her another long gaze.

“But Sir- “

“Watch him Miss Potter, you know the phrase ‘keep your friends close and your enemies closer’.” She nodded her head and he smiled as though he was content to let her deal with the problem. “For now that is what we must do, though I ask you once again to enjoy these years as best as you can and I promise when you are older, we will do what you came here to do and put a stop to Voldemort once and for all.”

Her teeth grated together as she nodded her head, all but dismissed from the room with a simple wave of his hand. She didn’t wait for more, there was nothing she could say to change his mind, nothing she could do herself being underage and unable to apparate without being caught.

Four and a bit more years. A voice whispered, her old voice, so unlike her own now. But she could help but sigh and agree. Four more years and she would be a legal adult able to do whatever she wanted.

...

The sun shone brightly outside as Hermione made her way over to where her friends were sitting by the lake, their eyes on the seventh year boys taking an opportunity of the mild sun to wrestle shirtless. Hermione could almost hear them giggling and she cringed, taking a few steps backwards to hide behind a tree – she didn’t want to deal with this now, not with all Dumbledore had said.

She slid down the bark, letting out a deep breath.

Anger raced through her veins and licked at her magic, it made her itch for her wand and want to blast everything in sight. He was wrong to tell her that, to tell her she might not change anything, tell her she might not be able to save her own brother when they both knew she would risk her own life for James’, for any of their friends.

But he had smirked, like he had gotten what he wanted, like a twelve year old girl screaming at him was as satisfying as moving one of his usual chess pieces. Did he want her to fail? Did he want her emotional? No, no, he wanted her to be a child, to pretend like her life was normal when it had been anything but, both of them were pure messes.

“What are you thinking hard about?” Hermione let out a groan as she looked up to see Andromeda sitting beside her, curling her arms around her legs and staring at the grass with a blank pale expression, her eyes red rimmed and her nose sniffling.

“Clearly nothing as important as what’s going on with you.” Hermione commented as she reached for her cousin, frowning when the woman moved away, flinching at her touch. “Andy, what’s wrong?”

Andromeda let out a whimper, tears falling from her eyes as she all but crumbled into herself, shaking like a leaf in the wind. “My parents are going to kill me...Ted says we can run away and everything will be fine but I’m scared Hermione and I just can’t go home!” Her words came out tumbled together as Hermione frowned and tried to make sense of it.

“Andy, I can’t help unless you tell me what’s wrong.”

"I'm pregnant."

Chapter Text

Those we love don't go away, they walk beside us everyday... unseen, unheard, but always near, still loved, still missed, and very dear. - Unknown.

Summer/ July 1973

Hermione let out a sigh as she stared at the freshly mounded dirt, a single rose resting upon it. There were so many things she wanted to say but her mouth remained closed and her eyes drifted to the messy haired boy beside her as he stared coldly at the ground.

They had been here too much, too many graves littered around them with the bodies of their friends and family dead underneath that it had come to mean nothing but an understanding that they too would likely end up here.

She tried to will her eyes to cry, to feel some kind of sorrow but nothing came. Ron deserved better than this, he deserved a full life with his family, but he deserved two best friend who would show a single emotion when he passed instead of what they were now. Hardened and unfeeling due to a war that should have ended the moment Voldemort died.

They had underestimated the Death Eaters.

“Was he a friend?” A quiet voice asked as Hermione turned to look at her side in confusion. This hadn’t happened like this, they had turned and left, thrown themselves into another battle that cost them more lives and almost their own. A small hand tugged at her own, comforting and warm as Hermione turned to try and speak to Harry only to find him gone. “I thought you were always the emotional one.”

This time she looked at the voice. A face so much like her own, though younger and a bit paler, framed by beautiful and slightly wild glossy curls, she offered a dimpled smile, showing much straighter and whiter teeth than Hermione had had at her age. But it was her eyes that caught Hermione’s attention, so much understanding, kindness and yet a certain level of coldness in those swirling orbs.

“Maybe once I was.” Hermione answered finally when the girl carried on her staring. The child nodded her head in understanding and offered a much more gentle smile as she pulled Hermione along the rows and rows of graves, eyes running over some and stopping on others.

She remembered all those time she had spent crying over the years, over the smaller things until one day it seemed to stop. Until loss became a part of her daily life, along with torture and running. She watched as people became resentful towards Harry and the war, but she never did. She stuck by his side until there was no one else left...until he too was nothing more than another person six feet under the ground.

“These are mine.” The girl claimed as they stopped at a piece of grass much further from the rest, three freshly dug graves with no stones above them and no flowers. It was kind of sad, like the grey sky above them, but the girl didn’t seem too bothered.

Hermione knelt down slightly, so she was head height and looked her in the eyes. “I’ll listen if you want to say something...or I can speak for you, what were their names?” The child frowned and then let out a laugh with a shake of her head.

“What were your parents names?”

Hermione frowned herself at the confusing question, the avoidance of her own question but the child didn’t seem put out, she seemed genuinely curious. “I...well they…” The names were on the tip of her tongue but they couldn’t come out, like her mouth couldn’t remember how to form them. “Marie and Octans Potter.” No, no, no that was wrong but the girl was staring as though she expected that.

“Some people are lucky in their life to have parents, I suppose we are lucky that we get three sets and maybe one day we will see Jean and Harold Granger again, but for now we get to be thankful for what we’ve got.” Hermione wanted to jump and down, to shout that this girl shouldn’t know her own parents names but she stood still, confused and unsure about what was happening.

The girl waved her hand, a large bouquet of beautiful flowers appearing in her hands as she knelt down to the oldest grave and placed the flowers on top, mumbling something in another language under her breath before she turned to face Hermione, dirt on her hands and eyes filled with unshed tears.

“My mother was a great witch, I miss her everyday but I am so thankful for Euphemia and Fleamont – they are the parents every child deserves.” The child looked at her and Hermione frowned until she realised the words had come from her own mouth, her heart aching as she stared at the grave and her eyes filling with tears, kneeling beside the girl only to find she was alone.

Her hands dug into the dirt, black curls falling over her shoulders. Every memory she had ever had rang through her head, confusing and swapping between every life. A cry left her throat as she sat up and looked over her shoulder, watching as Hermione and Harry left their little cemetery, neither looking back at her.

There was a cruel laugh in front of her, a man with slick black hair and crazed eyes, a wand raised in his hands and her heart pounded as the green light left the end of it.

Hermione awoke with a yelp, her hand gripping her sheets as scrambled out of her bed and sank onto the wooden floor with panting breaths, her ears ringing and her ears only able to see the green light that had been heading towards her by a man she had tried not to think about since she had come to the Potters, her own father in his crazed madness.

It took over all her confusing dream and mixed with the sounds of the four boys screaming outside her window, and the sun brightly shining onto the tips of her toes, washing away any of the leftover cold she felt.

“Miss Hermy is awake?” A squeaky voice called as Hermione looked up to see the family elf Poppy stood there in her mismatched clothes and eager smile, timidly moving towards the young Potter. “Did Miss have a bad dream again?” Hermione nodded her head as the elf wrapped her in a small hug, rubbing her back soothingly and then patted her head. “Would Miss Hermy like Poppy to run her a bath?”

“No thank you...I’m fine, I think I will just get dressed and head down for breakfast.” Hermione spoke softly, pulling herself from the arms and standing up on shaky legs, smiling down at the elf as she smiled widely.

“Poppy will make Misses favourite to cheer Miss Hermy up.” Before Hermione could protest the elf was gone with a loud crack. Hermione shook her head as she moved to her wardrobe, pulling out some clothes and heading towards the bathroom.

For a few seconds she stared at her reflection. The bags under her dark eyes and the messy curls, if she changed her hair colour and made her teeth longer then she could have just been Hermione Granger after a good night of studying but the lack of scars and watering eyes gave her away. Here the scars were internal from both lives, tearing up her inside and making her heart ache painfully in her chest.

Taking a deep breath she pushed the pain away, locking it tightly in a box and promising to deal with it later as she dressed herself, ignoring the developing curves and changing of her body. It was easier to deal with this time, having female friends and a mother to teach her certain spells, instead of a couple of boys who cringed every time a woman issue was brought up.

A frown made its way onto her face as she wandered down the stairs, curls being pinned up on the back of her head as she jumped down the last step and came face to face with Andromeda and Nymphadora Tonks.

“Hello dear cousin, bored of your own house already?” Hermione asked, grinning over her shoulder as she moved to the kitchen and sat herself down at the island, offering thanks to Poppy as she placed a plate of crepes in front of her with lemon and sugar.

“Of course not...thank you Poppy.” Andromeda answered as she took a sip of her freshly made tea and shifted the babbling baby on her lap so Hermione was staring at the ever changing hair and chubby hands that kept trying to grab her breakfast. “Dora, no, let Hermione eat her breakfast in peace.” The mother mumbled to the baby, cringing as Hermione hummed at her food.

Hermione watched the woman from the corner of her eye as she spoke quietly to her daughter, a soft smile on her face. It might have not been what the young woman had asked for but she was quite content with her life it seemed.

In a loving marriage, with a beautiful house and a supportive husband who loved her and their daughter so much. Ted Tonks who fit into their confusing and backwards little family like he was always meant to be there, who joked with Fleamont, complimented Euphemia, and spoke to the children like they were all little adults and capable of understanding him fully. And he wasn’t with his wife today.

“Where’s Ted?”

“He’s away for the week on business, so Aunt Effie made a very strong case about why we should come home and stay here for the rest of the week, or if she can help it, our lives.” Andy spoke in a high pitched voice, bouncing the baby on her knee as Dora let out a happy laugh and clapped her hands before pulling on her mothers loose hair with a chuckle.

“Well get ready to be awoken by the idiots outside.” Hermione grumbled as a loud crash keep from the back garden followed by loud yelling and a barking laugh.

Andromeda let out her out laugh and shrugged her shoulders as Hermione tried to fight her own smile. It had been forever since Andy had stayed here, and in all honesty she had missed having her cousin around as someone to talk to. Her other friends were great but their conversations were limited to letters and brief visits through fireplaces.

Hermione smiled at the giggling baby, reaching out to take her into her arms and bouncing her on her knee as Dora scrunched up her face and little black curls appeared, chubby hands reaching out to pull on Hermione’s own curls, only to be distracted by another laugh, big eyes trying to find the sound and narrowing when they couldn’t see anything.

“You can take her outside if you want, Merlin knows she could do with some sun but just remind James that - “

“No broomsticks until she can walk, I know.” Hermione answered, kissing her cousin on the cheek and dancing with the baby to the hall, spinning her around and smiling down at the high pitched laugh Dora made.

The sun seemed to shine even brighter as she pushed open the back door, Dora clapping her hands as she finally laid eyes on the four boys who were now yelling at each other, shaggy hair, that fit the times, and dirty clothes, gangly limbs that couldn’t seem to stop growing and a couple of hairs on their faces that they all seemed rather proud of.

Her eyes widened as James threw something at Sirius, a sent of red sparks going off and causing Sirius to jump in the air with a hiss, silver eyes narrowing at the chuckling boy, only to grin when Dora let out an amused laugh and four pairs of eyes were staring at the girls.

Nymphadora Tonks was like the worlds best Pepper up potion, there was just no way to be mad around her when she spent most of her time giggling and clapping. Five months old and already the group of young teenagers were wrapped around her pudgy little finger...except for Peter and Remus who offered tense smiles and kept their distance.

Peter because Dora spent her time crying whenever the chubby watery eyed boy came her way and Remus because...well because he seemed to think it was better to keep a distance to everyone but his friends.

Hermione wanted to tell him it wasn’t necessary but perhaps it was for the best. She want sure what the outcome would be if Remus had spent his childhood days holding a baby that was supposed to be his wife, it might just make things more awkward than they needed to be. So instead she kept them as apart as she could and offered him small smiles.

“Hello Hermione, to what do we owe the pleasure of your scathing glare and wicked arse?” Sirius asked as he deepened his voice and raised an eyebrow at her, flinching when James’ hand connected with the back of his best friends head. “Ow!”

“You deserved that, never talk about or look at my sisters arse again.” James spoke slowly, like he was talking to a child as Hermione rolled her eyes and stepped further into the garden and closer to the boys, sending a glare to Peter as he tried to move closer to her and not even fighting the smirk when he let out a little yelp and scurried to stand beside Remus.

“If you want I can look at yours, pretty flat though, I think I prefer your sisters.”

“You mean your cousins?”

“Man, come on – if we by those rules then I would never be able to look at a witch again!”

“He has a point there.”

“Thank you Remus and plus - “

“Merlin, would you all just shut up.” Hermione snapped, her cheeks felt like they were burning and the boys seemed to have forgotten she was stood there and listening to them. “If any of you talk about me like that again then you all better pray that you find somewhere quick to hide because I will find you and it will be painful.” A sweet smile made it’s way to her face as she looked at all the boys, making sure to stare longer at Peter.

“Can’t say I’m not curious, love, what will this revenge entail?” The smirk on Sirius’ face fell quickly as Hermione pulled out her wand and sent a small stinging hex to his stomach, grinning at he let out a hiss and sent her a glare. “Yeah, I deserved that.”

Dora let out a loud squeal of happiness, reaching for Sirius who happily took her and nuzzled his face into her now wavy black hair, mumbling something under his breath that none of them could hear but all assumed he was complaining about them. James glared at him, arms crossed over his chest and all but pouting that he couldn’t do anything now his friend was holding the baby.

They stayed like that for a few minutes until Dora was handed back and the boys were off playing again, throwing beaten up charmed quaffles between them and snorting when it would magically burn one of their hands. Dora seemed to find it more amusing than the grass Hermione was pulling from the ground and placing in the baby’s hair.

Hermione was happy to sit here, to indulge in the childish happiness for a few hours and let the surprisingly warm sun wash away the cold from her nightmares. It was easy for her to forget everything she knew and just be the thirteen year old she was supposed to be.

“I don’t care if Amos offered me all the galleons in the world, he is not dating my sister!” Hermione frowned as she looked up to see a red faced James throwing the quaffle towards Peters head.

Hermione frowned as she picked up Dora, walking towards the boys and wincing when the ball hit Peter on his forehead. Well she agreed that Amos was a complete tosser who spent most of his time leering at her, it didn’t mean she wanted to be spoke about.

Sirius watched her with wide eyes, moving towards James but her brother was on a tangent. “My sister won’t be dating anyone, I’m looking at you Sirius, she is too young and I won’t allow it.” His voice rose further until he was almost yelling the words at his friends, focusing more on Sirius who seemed to be in some sort of shock.

“You won’t allow it?” She could almost see James gulp as he turned around slowly to face her with hands held up in front of his chest and an awkward smile on his face.

“Mi’ - “

“You know James, I don’t remember asking for your opinion or permission on this subject.” Hermione hissed out, passing Dora to Sirius who stared between the two with a wide grin on his face as Hermione stalked closer to her brother and poked a small finger into his chest. “But if it makes you happy, little brother, then keep thinking you have some control over my life.” She smiled sweetly and stood on her tiptoes to pat his head.

James gave her a glare as he pushed away her hand. “We are the same age – but fine I’ll make a deal with you – when Peter gets a girlfriend then I will consider letting you date, as long as it isn’t him.” Peter made a sound of protest that everyone ignored as James turned to point at Sirius, who just shrugged and gave them both a smile.

“Consider letting me?”

“Oh no.” Remus muttered behind a hand, trying to hide his smile as James took a step away from his sister.

“James Fleamont Potter, you don’t have to consider anything – as you aware I am more than capable of making my own choices, and frankly if I waited until Peter found a girlfriend then I would die alone...sorry Pettigrew.” She threw it out as an after thought, ignoring the cry the small boy made, sending him a look over his shoulder to let him know that she wasn’t sorry at all.

“Now listen Mi’, my beautiful sister, I didn’t mean to imply that - No please!” He cried, turning and running towards the trees as Hermione chased after him, a grin on her face and a burning in her legs that she hadn’t felt in a long time.

It was almost peaceful to be able to act like a child again, to chase her brother and giggling to herself when he tripped over his own lanky feet, landing sprawled out in the middle of the garden. A groan left his mouth as she sat herself on his back, reaching forward to pat the messy head and chuckling when he tried to move but gave up after a second.

“Someone please help me.” He turned to face his friends, glasses lopsided and hand trying to reach out, only for a cry to leave his mouth as Hermione flicked his ear.

“You got yourself into this mess, mate, you’ve got to get yourself out of it.”

“You’re supposed to be on my side, traitor.” James snapped at Remus, pouting out his bottom lip as his friend simply shrugged his shoulders and sat himself on the ground. “Fine, Peter, help me out.” The smaller boy let out a little squeak but tried to move closer, freezing in his spot as Hermione shot him a glare.

“Come any closer and I will hex you.”

“I think – I – James is really sorry.” Peter spoke, his voice high and his hands playing with the front of his shirt but he stayed where he was and ignored James’ groan of disapproval. “He didn’t mean what he said!”

“Do you just spend your days doing what other people say or do you actually have a backbone?” Hermione snapped harshly as the boy shrunk into himself and the whole fun of the situation seemed to disappear in an instant, replaced instead by her own anger.

“Of course I can - “

“Do those Slytherins you spend time with boss you around too?” Her question was asked innocently enough, a frown on her face and a smile threatening to appear as all eyes focused on the watery eyed boy who looked a second away from passing out or vomiting.

“Slytherins?” The boys asked at once, James lifting up to rest on his elbows as he stared at the boy with a frown. “What are you doing with Slytherin’s, Pete?” Although his voice was soft, there was a hard edge to it, one that had come with the past two years of school feeding into the rivalry between the two houses and refusing to see past the green and silver.

The only Slytherin that had been off limits was Regulus. An unspoken understanding that they left the boy alone and all but ignored his existence.

“Please tell me you are pulling some sort of elaborate prank.” Sirius offered, like he was letting his friend have an out as he bounced Dora from side to side and focused on the baby’s head instead as she babbled to him about something.

Peter twitched and Hermione smiled at him, raising her eyebrow as she waited for him to come up with some sort of excuse. She had been trying for the past two years to say something to the boys that would make them view their friend as something different but it had been hard. James was as loyal as a dog and Sirius followed his lead, and Remus wasn’t going to throw away the friends he had taken so long to trust.

There was only so much she could do, especially since the four shared a room and seemed content to forget everything she had ever said. Keeping Peter in their little circle like he had always meant to be there, but she would be damned if in eight years time the little rat was the secret keeper that betrayed them all.

“I – um – I… I just, needed to ask them for homework?” The group stared at him with matching frowns before turning to each other with matching looks of uncertainty.

“Pete, you can’t be fuc-”

“Time for lunch.” Andromeda appeared in the doorway before Sirius could finish his sentence, her eyes landed on the siblings with a smile before settling on her baby who waved at her mother and matched her hair to the beautiful black waves.

“Oh they were just play fighting.”

“Relax Remus, it’s nothing they haven’t done before – though Sirius if I ever hear you nearly swear in front of my daughter again I will channel Aunt Walburga and kick your arse.” She smirked at her cousin as Sirius shivered in his spot and muttered something under his breath. “Now inside, all of you!”

Hermione couldn’t help the smile that appeared on her face as her cousin channelled Euphemia instead, clapping her hands loudly and ordering them around with a grin on her face, patting them all on the back as they passed her by the door before she was clutching her baby and making noises at the sixth month old.

...

The summer seemed to pass faster than normal until only a week remained, both Remus and Peter having to leave for ‘family reasons’, Sirius and James haven’t spent the rest of their holiday muttering under the breaths and retreating to James’ bedroom with books. It hadn’t taken Hermione two minutes to figure out they were trying to become Animagus and so she left them to it.

Instead she spent her days with her mother, the evening with her father and the weekends with Andy and Dore, walking discreetly around London and indulging in the Muggle ways. They had spent their day laughing at the strange Muggle things they found in the market, Hermione finding peace in a life that had once been hers.

Until they stopped at a small cafe, taking their seats and humming over the cakes and coffees that were placed in front of them and the orange juice that Dora seemed to find fascinating to place her hand inside to grab the little bits of pulp.

“Are you excited to go back?” Andy asked as she dusted off her hands of the scone and once again wiped her daughters hands with a napkin, eyes scanning the strange Muggles that came in and spoke loudly to each other. “Third year is always interesting, all the new classes and different people.” A small smile appeared on the woman’s face as Hermione raised her eyebrows.

“Is that when you met Ted?” Hermione had to ask as she bit into her own food and grinned when Andy blushed and hid her face behind her hair.

“That and for the first time after two years I could have a couple of classes without Slyther- without my own prejudiced house.” She cut herself off as a worker got too close and gave Hermione a look. She nodded her head in agreement. Muggle studies did wonders to keep the pureblooded Slytherins away.

“Well unless they hate Arithmancy and Ancient Runes, then I don’t think I’ll have the same luck as you.”

“You didn’t want to do Muggle Studies or Care of Magical Creatures?” Andy asked as they whispered across the table, though they both knew they shouldn’t be talking about this in such a Muggle setting, it was nice to know that Andy was aware Hermione would never even consider Divination. “That seems right up your alley.”

“I have Lily and Remus for those sort of things, and other than watching James and Sirius freak out over a pen, I just don’t have any interest in the subject.” Hermione shrugged, staring at her coffee to avoid the curious eyes, she couldn’t admit that her head was already filled with the Muggle world and everything it offered. “As for the creatures thing, Kettleburn seems a bit unhinged and I don’t want to be eaten by a Hippogriff.”

Andy let out a laugh and nodded her head in agreement. Kettleburn was already missing half of his limbs and his pushing approach to have children stroke dangerous animals rivalled Hagrids, their love of dangerous creatures just didn’t seem worth the possible pain of dealing with said creatures.

A sigh left her mouth as she thought about Hagrid. She hadn’t, in all honesty, given him much thought this time around, mainly because she wasn’t even sure how to begin. He had been Harry’s friend first and thus hers and Rons, but this time around he was a gatekeeper who waved to everyone and was more than content to let them be.

And she was trying to live a life without the hassle. Less classes, less time spent being a know-it-all and more time spent enjoying her friends and family’s time. It didn’t mean she didn’t miss the friendly giant sometimes though.

“So…” Hermione looked up from her thoughts as Andy grinned at her and leaned forward onto her elbows and Hermione already knew what was coming. “You’re getting to a certain age, should I be worried about you bringing a boyfriend home for Christmas?”

“I’m thirteen.”

“Almost fourteen, and if I remember rightly, your friend Marlene was twelve when she had her first boyfriend.” Andy spoke, sipping her coffee and winking over the cup as Hermione scrunched up her forehead and rolled her eyes at the thought of her blond best friend and her list of ‘boyfriends’.

“Marlene is crazy.” Hermione spoke deadpanned, waving her hand and shaking her head as she thought about the last letter from Marlene detailing her need to get back to Hogwarts and away from her family.

“Mi’, it’s completely normal to have crushes and perhaps a kiss or two at this age – in fact I wouldn’t surprised if it happened with a certain black haired individual.” Andy smirked as she pulled a face at Dora as the baby tried to pull the hat off her hand, frowning when she couldn’t manage to do so and letting out an annoyed cry.

“That could be anyone, but I really hope you don’t mean James.” Hermione pointed out although she knew exactly who Andromeda was referring to and she really didn’t want to get into this.

"That’s disgusting, of course not.” Andy pulled a face and shook her head before she was speaking again, seeming to find joy in Hermione’s discomfort. Sneaky Slytherins. “I was on about the other black haired boy you spend time with.”

“Sirius?” Hermione asked innocently, hoping that her cousin was somehow talking about someone else or that for some reason she thought Remus had black hair, that would easier to wave away. “Why – why – why would you think that?” Hermione asked slightly too loudly as a few people turned to look their way.

“Are you blushing?”

“He’s my cousin, I don’t even know why you would suggest that.” Hermione hissed as the waitress passed them again, laughing loudly with a customer – she doubted that they would take too kindly to this sort of conversation even if it was legal and more common than they knew.

“No he’s my cousin, your second cousin which is nothing considering you are probably second cousins with the majority of Hogwarts.” Andy pointed out with raised eyebrows and the same evil little smirk that said cousin often had on his face. Perhaps it was a Black thing to spend their days teasing the people closest to them.

“I’ll give you that but still – he’s my brothers best friend and he all but lives in my house.”

“All I’m hearing are excuses.” Her voice raised and her hands brushed against her skirt as she leaned back in her seat and offered a much kinder smile. “Relax Hermione, I’m joking around, though I imagine you’ll have to fight off the boys with a beaters bat this year.” Hermione groaned and rested her head on the table while her cousin let out a laugh.

…

Saturday the 1st of September 1973

King Cross was always busy, full of people heading to work or off to see their family, it didn’t matter if it was a weekend or a week day. Most of them didn’t care for the students walking through the station with their robes, owls and trunks, but there were some who watched them with curious eyes, whispering to other people and pointing at the strange robes.

Hermione couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up inside her as she heard some Northern woman comment to her friend ‘Only in London, eh Margaret’, and then they were back on their way without a second thought.

The Potters were a strange family even to the Wizarding world, a group of Purebloods who didn’t care how they looked or who they were seen with, an adopted daughter, and two Purebloods who came from the highest standing Wizarding family all but living in their house. Plus the eight month old baby, who was once again forced to wear a hat, and her changing appearance.

“Hurry up, we don’t want to be late now do we.” Euphemia spoke hurriedly as she rushed towards the barrier behind James, Andromeda and Dora following quickly. Hermione let out a sigh as she ran towards the wall, closing her eyes like she always did in fear that one day she would just end up running face first into a wall.

A sigh left her mouth as she opened her eyes, letting the smile take over her face as she once again looked around Platform 9 ¾. The scarlet train standing like a work of art as people climbed aboard, waving their hands at their families and younger siblings. It was always a sight to behold, a thrill running through her that she would be going back.

A yell sounded from behind her, her trolley slipping away from her grasp as her legs buckled with another pair and Crookshanks let out a hiss. A hand cupped the back of her head, stopping it from hitting the stone floor beneath them, her own reaching out to try and slow her fall but collapsing under the sudden weight half resting on top of her.

It took a second to register, a hiss leaving her mouth, but her own eyes met the silver own of Sirius and her whole face felt like it had been hit with an Incendia. He offered her a gentle smile, hissing himself when he pulled his hand away from the back of her head and moved his face away from hers, like he needed more distance between them.

“Oi!” A voice shouted, heads turning to see James storming toward them. “Get off my sister, you prick.”

James didn’t wait for them to respond, all but throwing Sirius off of Hermione so he could pull her back to her feet and push her protectively behind her as he glared at his best friend and ignored their laughing mother, who brushed Hermione’s back, and a grinning Andromeda.

“You’re lucky my dad isn’t here.” James added as a second grumbled, grabbing Hermione’s trunk and throwing Crookshanks case into her arms, he couldn’t help the smirk on his face as he reached up to touch a red cheek. She pushed his hand away and took a step backwards, clutching the case tightly to her chest and avoiding everyones eyes.

“I better – I need to go find my friends.” Hermione mumbled under her breath, kissing her mother and Dora on the cheek and sending Andy a glare as she began to move away. “Love you all – erm make sure to tell dad too...and I will see you at Christmas.” And with that she was gone, ignoring the teasing looks and smiles and all but running onto the train with just her cat, leaving James to sort out her trunk.

…

“So let me get this straight, you’re this red because Sirius tripped and landed on top of you?” Marlene giggled as she sat across from her friend in the compartment, reaching out to poke her friends face and chuckling again when Hermione slapped her hand away.

She hadn’t known what she was thinking in telling Marlene but it wasn’t like she had a lot of people her own age to talk about this with. Lily would be a blushing mess too. But Marlene had grown up with four brothers and had had more boyfriends than any of them, not that she had gone that far, but it helped to have someone ore informed.

What she didn’t count on was with how little seriousness the now shoulder length blond would take it, nor how her icy blue eyes would melt in amusement. “I honestly don’t see the problem..well unless we are counting the relation between you both.”

Hermione fixed her with a stare and clucked her tongue in her mouth. “It’s a problem because...because well...you can’t just do that to anyone.” Her words stumbled over each other as she tried to find a way to explain the problem to a furrowed eyebrow Marlene.

“It wasn’t like he did it intentionally...you know he didn’t just jump on you, though judging by the blush I doubt you would mind that.” Marlene teased as she leaned forward to rest her head on her hands and grinned at her best friend when Hermione choked on her water. “I just have to ask that you refrain from doing anything...you know, too adult.”

“Merlin, Marly I’m thirteen.” Hermione cried out, leaving out the part where she was nearly fourteen as her cheeks heated up again.

“That didn’t stop Pollux Black from getting married and having a child a year later now, did it?” Marlene raised her eyebrows as she question though she grimaced and shook her head, waving her hand as though waving away the creepy relatives of Hermione’s. “Forget that, that sounded like encouragement and I am not encouraging you to do anything more than perhaps a couple of pecks and a snog.” She grinned and winked as Hermione sank lower in her seat. “Though I never pegged you as someone who would join his fan club.”

“I haven’t!”

“You are so crushing on Sirius Black, it is obvious so just grab his face and lay one on him, boys probably got enough skill to - “

“Who’s face are we grabbing and laying one on?” The girls jumped as the four boys sat themselves down in the compartment, Sirius frowning as he sat beside her and looked between the two girls who both kept their mouths shut and thanked Merlin the first half of their conversation hadn’t been heard.

“You better be talking about yourself McKinnon because I’m not going through this with Hermione again.” James muttered as Marlene raised her eyebrows and looked back to her friend for an explanation only to receive a glare and a shake of curls. The blond smiled and looked to Remus who just shook his head before she frowned at Peter as he leered at her.

Marlene let out a sigh, clasping her hands together and smiling sweetly. “Of course we are, your sister is far too sweet to take part in the frivolous activities I often take part in.” James let out a scoff and glared at his sister, eyes widening when a flash of green eyes and auburn hair stopped outside their compartment for two seconds before it was moving again.

Hermione pulled her brother down as he moved towards the door, gesturing for Marlene to stand up as they made to follow instead. “Stay here please, no point upsetting her more by having you drool all over her.”

“I don’t drool.” James cried as the girls made their way out of the compartment, cringing as James’ voice carried down the hallway. “Why do you think Evans hates me?”

Sirius scoffed, as the girls drifted further away, his voice quiet as they strained to hear it. “Mate, you wanna get into that now?"

Hermione let out a sigh, sending a look to a thin smiled Marlene as they followed behind their friend, pushing their way through the crowd and noise. There was so much she wanted to tell James, like one day he would have the girl of his dreams but she couldn’t, and she wouldn’t be responsible for pushing them further apart or rushing them together. It had to happen naturally.

“Lil’.” Marlene called when the girl look over her shoulder, eyes turning wide and feet seeming to hurry forward until she was blocked by some sixth years having conversations and forced to turn and face her friends as they stared at her in concern. “What’s wrong? Where were you going, you like literally walked past our compartment?”

Lily pursed her lips, her eyes flashing with annoyance as her eyes drifted back down the hallway, Hermione turning her head to see a head of messy hair staring at them and then ducking back inside when he realised he had been caught. Hermione understood the reluctance to sit with James but Hermione had always been willing to kick her brother out so her closest friend could sit with them before she went to find Snape for the last couple of hours.

“I was contemplating sitting with Jenny and Emmeline.” Lily explained between clenched teeth as Marlene made a sound of disgust. Though the girls had been in the same dorm for the past two years, the had been a divide between them – the three of them not able to find common ground with the stuck up, two faced witches. “Do you have a problem with that Marlene?”

“Yes!” Marlene cried, quickly sending a glare to the group as turned to look at her. “They are the most annoying people I’ve ever met, and you seen my brothers.” She added as an after thought, a quick grin on her face as Hermione rolled her eyes.

Lily nodded her head as though she agreed before she looked over her shoulders at a flash of Hufflepuff robes. “Maybe I’ll sit with Alice and Frank then, they’re always nice enough.” Hermione couldn’t disagree, Alice was always welcoming and Frank was kind to everybody. “Maybe if you weren't sitting with them - “ She said the words with distaste as Hermione frowned.

“Careful Lily.” Hermione muttered to her friend with a frown, despite her general annoyance towards them they were her friends and her brother and she wasn’t going to let no one speak like they were trash unless it was Peter.

“Oh Merlin, Hermione we have only been on this train for one hour and yet Severus has been jinxed and is refusing to talk me.” Lily cried and Hermione frowned.

It always came down to Snape and the boys between them, it didn’t matter how good of friends they were, how much time they spent together or how little they refused to talk about the actual problem, they both knew that Hermione would choose her brother and Lily would choose her friend, even if the redhead didn’t want to admit that Snape was going downhill and fast.

Fiercely loyal was what Lily Evans was, and even if Hermione wanted to scream in her face, to tell her everything that would happen and what Snape would become, who he was now and how eager he was to join a group determined to kill his best friend, she knew it would do no good. Lily would figure it out, she had to figure it out herself.

It didn’t stop her from trying one last time though, from trying to make her friend see reason before one of them walked away. “Snape isn’t as innocent as he claims, if I remember rightly then he was the reason James’ nose was bleeding at the end of second year.” Lily’s eyes flickered and her brow furrowed like she was trying to remember and was coming up blank.

“Or maybe your arrogant brother walked into a wall while trying to admire his reflection.” Hermione raised her eyebrows and tried not to nod her head in agreement, she had seen him do it many times and it got funnier each time. “But what of course you would believe whatever lies they tell you.”

“Just like you do with Snape?” Hermione asked with a raised eyebrow as Lily let out a scoff and shook her head, ready to talk again but Hermione continued over her. “Difference being Lily, is that I know my brother and friends, I know what they do but you...if you want to paint some pretty picture of Snape, then be my guest, who am I to stop you.” She let out a little laugh, shaking her head and moving back to her compartment where she was sure she would find the four boys eager for the gossip.

Her feet stumbled as she heard the soft voice of Marlene behind her. “I know you have some bad blood with James and the rest of them but they are good people and Snape...he has lied to you Lily.” Hermione let out a sigh as Lily squeaked in protest but then Marlene was speaking again, even softer this time, like speaking to a five year old. “He showed you this world, he was your first friend, but he isn’t your only friend and you can’t keep making excuses for him.”

...

Hermione didn’t care for clapping for the new first years, she didn’t care for cheering like her brothers and friends when they joined their table. She didn’t care for the dinner before her but instead was more than content to glare at Snape where he sat speaking to his friends, unaware of the bad mood she he had put her in and the distance he had now created between her and Lily.

That’s probably what he wanted. He had no doubt spent the summer whispering in her ear, trying to keep her for himself after she spent the past year all but glued to Hermione’s side. What a tosser.

It wasn’t like it was the first time she had fallen out with someone, Merlin knows she spent more time fighting with Ron than actually being friends with him, but with Lily it was different.

Lily had been everything she had every wanted in a friend without even realising. It hurt that she wouldn’t even look at her now, that she was fine sitting away from her friends and content with sitting beside Alice. Hermione had honestly thought they had been closer than that, that she had spent enough time around the girl for her to tell Snape to shove his greasy arse up his head and let them be friends without another comment.

Clearly Hermione had been wrong.

Brown eyes met black ones, a satisfied smirk on his, and she wondered if anyone would notice if she hexed Snape’s tongue to the rough of his mouth. A sigh left her mouth as she noticed Regulus looking between the pair with a frown, clearly catching onto something and forcing her to look away.

“ - Owens gone, I’ll have a better chance of making beater.” Hermione looked away from the shier, bright blue eyed Black and back to her food, tuning into the conversation his brother had going instead as she stabbed the potatoes on her plate.

"Keep eating like that Black, and you won't be able to get on your broom." The boys laughed and Sirius even chuckled to himself as Marlene spoke sarcastically.

It was lucky that Sirius had taken it like the joke it was meant to be but Hermione couldn’t help but think of another boy who spent his time at Hogwarts shoving food in his mouth like he wasn’t sure when he would get his next meal. Her heart ached as she tried to shy away from the idea that Walburga and Orion were starving Sirius like Harry had been.

And yet she wouldn’t be surprised. Sirius spent his days trying to displease his family and had proudly proclaimed that he would marry a Muggleborn just to spite his mother, and she knew despite his cocky attitude there was always punishments that followed.

“Her-my-own-knee.” A hand waved in front of her face and she blinked again, staring at Sirius as he smirked at her and raised an eyebrow before turning to grin at James. “See she doesn’t think I’m getting fat, in fact she was transfixed by my beautiful face.” He winked, running his hands through his hair while he grinned.

“What?”

“Don’t be shy, we are among friends and can be honest.” He reached over the table as he spoke softly, reaching out to hold her chin between his thumb and forefinger before blowing her a kiss.

Hermione felt her cheeks heat up, her breath coming back to her as Sirius let go and tried to defend himself from the roast potato that was thrown his way only to have it hit him in the head with a thump.

“Don't touch her." James snapped, pointing a finger and eyes blazing as Sirius wiped the remained of potato off his face and then smirked as he reached out to rest his hand on Hermione’s while James all but growled at him and picked up his knife. "Mate, do you want me to throw my knife at you?" He raised it in warning, smirking when Sirius pulled his hand away.

“Please do it, I’ve never want anything more.” Remus cried, letting out a laugh when a piece of food came flying at his head and ended up hitting a Hufflepuff, who glared at them and muttered under their breath.

“Mr Black and Mr Potter, you are back not two hours and yet you are already causing trouble, I didn’t think we have a detention so early in the year.” Despite the sternness in her voice, her green eyes twinkled with amusement and her lips fought to keep in a smile.

Sirius grinned cheekily at the older woman, deepening his voice as he spoke. “You know, as long as I spend it with you Minnie then I’m not complaining.”

“Unfortunately for you Mr Black, it seems Mr Filch was rather eager to be the one to carry out your punishments until the end of Hogwarts.” McGonagall smirked at Sirius’ face dropped and he turned his head to look at the care taker stroking his cat with a sick grin on his face as he eyed the boy like fresh meat.

“Wait – I mean - “

“He will see you tomorrow evening after dinner.” The group snickered as Sirius threw up his arms in the air and let out a groan, glaring at his friends like they were the problem, until James let out a squeak when a hand was placed on his shoulder. “You too Mr Potter.”

“What did I do? This is your fault!” James pointed to Sirius, who let out a chuckle as James’ mouth dropped open and he turned to glare at the teacher as she walked away, looking quite satisfied with herself. “Mums going to kill me.”

“Welcome to the club, my dear mother has been trying for years.” Sirius spoke with a grin, poking James’ side as the boy grumbled something at him and glared down at his plate. “Now if you’ll excuse me, some Ravenclaw is giving me the eye and I feel I should introduce myself.” He didn’t wait for them to answer, scurrying up from his seat and swaggering towards the eagles.

No one spoke as they watched him fall beside the witch, leaning back onto the table with his elbows and offering her a wink. Hermione crinkled her nose in disgust, he wasn’t even fourteen yet and he was already filled with confidence enough to speak to girls, who knew what he was going to be like in a couple of years when hormones really hit him.

“Careful, green isn’t a good colour on you.” Marlene muttered, elbowing Hermione in the side as she returned her eyes to the table, blushing when she caught James’ stare and frowning in confusion when something flickered over Remus’ face, a sigh leaving his mouth.

…

"Happy to be back, Miss Potter?" Hermione refused to meet his eyes. Personally she didn’t want to be in his office again but he had made a point to speak to her during the ends and starts of the school year, as though it would clear any animosity between them. If anything it just annoyed Hermione more. “I was rather surprised at your electives this year, I thought you would be interested in Muggle Studies and Divination.”

He let things unsaid between them and Hermione turned to look at those twinkling blue eyes. “Given the fact that a part of me is a Muggleborn time traveller?” She raised her eyebrow as he nodded his head. “I think then it stands to reason why I have no interest learning about Televisions and staring into crystal balls.”

“Ah, I suppose Miss Granger was well aware of our Divination classes?”

“She didn’t happen to find enjoyment in guessing the future, for we both know it can change with a simple choice.” Hermione smiled sweetly, playing with the curls that fell over her shoulders as she concentrated on the man. “And Muggle studies is nothing more than playing with a few objects and trying to teach the function of a 50 pence.” She waved her hand in the air and shrugged her shoulders as Dumbledore hummed.

“Your electives count towards your O.W.Ls and more importantly your N.E.W.Ts, it may be wise to consider taking the classes for any possible job.” He spoke lowly and offered her a smile as Hermione rolled her eyes and slumped further into the chair.

“I hardly think that I am going to become some Muggle seeing Seer in the future, Professor.”

Dumbledore let out a chuckle as though he was positively amused by her before he leaned forward. “Well my dear, what is it you want to do?”

“I believe this is a conversation I will have with my Head of House in my fifth year.” Hermione mumbled as she sat up straighter and frowned at the thought, before she had wanted to work in the Ministry, to change laws surrounding Magical beings, but now she felt lost and unsure. “There are too many things to do before I decide a career for the rest of my life.” She looked at him knowingly and watched as he bobbed his head.

“You are in no rush, Miss Potter.” His words were sharper than before and she couldn’t figure out if he was talking about her career or what she was hinting at. “I refuse to tell you once again why you must settle down and enjoy your life.” In both her lives she had never heard him sound so frustrated, it only pushed her own anger further into her clouded mind.

“And I refuse to tell you again why we can’t just sit on our arses instead of doing something and ending this quicker.” It must have looked strange, a small almost fourteen year old girl pointing a finger at one of the most powerful Wizards in history without caring, without an inch of healthy respect and fear in her eyes.

“I am the adult here, yes you hold the information, but I will not drag a child so eager to prove their worth to the front of the battle without so much of a plan.” He hissed at her, before his brows furrowed as she seethed in her anger before him.

Her whole body felt alight, her mind was darkening and her hands itching. The office seemed much darker than before, Dumbledore a grey tainted outline frowning at his candles, Fawkes squawking as a trinket feel on the floor behind him. He turned to look at her once again, waving his hands and bringing back the light, a question on his face.

“I suggest you find a plan before I do, Sir.” She spoke the words like venom, turning on her heel and marching from the office and leaving him there staring after her. Her hand waved, slamming the door behind her as she let out a deep breath and frowned.

...

07/09/1973

Dear Harry,

It’s been a long time since I wrote to you, not that you’ll ever read any of these letters and maybe it’s sad for me to pretend that you get these instead of them just sitting in the bottom of my trunk, but sometimes it just helps and makes you feel not so far away.

I count down some days for the day you’ll get here, and other days I wonder if I am going to screw everything up and end up without my best friend. I know if you were here though you would tell me to enjoy Hogwarts with the constant yearly threat, it’s what Dumbledore says too but I just feel useless.

Your mother is all but refusing to speak to me, though she did say goodnight followed by closing her curtains. We seem to be in some kind of argument, except...I don’t know how to deal with it. With Ron it was always let it blow out and eventually we would speak after some near death experience, but I never fought with Lily before and it kind of hurts more than I thought it would.

Marlene says I should let it be, that Lily will figure it out and we should give her time but I guess I am too much the Potter now because I find myself feeling rather impatient for that day. Your father seems to think it’s funny, that she seems to hate us both now, but I think he’s secretly hoping that this will make her soften towards him. He is so smitten, it’s actually quite funny.

Speaking of your father, he already has his second detention. He thought it would be funny to put d ungbombs in Filchs coat, it didn’t take a genius to find out who it might be which meant all of them plus Fabian and Gideon were placed in detention. If it makes it better, they all seem fine with it and are currently planning their next attack. You would love it.

I miss you, and one day I hope I can tell you all of this, everything that happened at Hogwarts – I promise I will do everything I can to save your parents, to save my family. That while we might not be best friends, that I can at least be the best aunt for you, that despite everything I will be there.

I love you,

Hermione Potter.

Chapter Text

Sunday the 1 3 th of October 1973

“Potter.”

Hermione stopped, her tongue resting on the back of her teeth. She turned around on the steps to face Snape, resting her hand on the balustrade as she tilted her head and smiled sarcastically at the boy standing a few steps above her. He watched her coolly, looking much like the teacher she knew, though without the dramatic cloak.

“Can I help you, Severus?” His eyes narrowed slightly and his arms crossed over his chest as he took a few steps down until he was only two small steps away, looking down at her. “Well, if you’re just going to stand there and stare at me, then…”

Hermione moved to turn, frowning when his hand rested on her own and kept her there. His fingers were clammy and cold, his skin pale in an unhealthy way unlike her own. She gazed at him as he pulled his hand away and looked around, taking in the dark circles under his eyes and the oily hair that hung limply around his face.

Apart from glaring at him across the room and avoiding her brother when he was on a tangent to get back at the boy, she tried to avoid the skinny figure standing before her. He was cruel and snide, and despite what he did in the future, his obsession with the Dark Arts was leading him down a path that would be hard to come back from and would cost him everything.

“I need to speak to you.” His voice was as soft as ever but his sneer and the way he looked down at her was enough to know he wasn’t being kind.

I got that much…” Hermione muttered, tilting her head once again and waiting for him to speak, only to see him watching her over his hooked nose, his lip curling even more as his black eyes seemed to stare into her soul. “You know, this is the part where you talk.” She gestured with her hands as he looked away at a couple of Hufflepuffs who were walking past.

“Leave Lily alone.”

Whatever she had been expecting, it wasn’t that and she couldn’t help the small laugh that left her throat as she shook her head, before letting out a yelp as something stung her arm, turning with wide eyes to stare at the boy and the wand being carefully tucked back into his sleeve. “What – just because I laughed? Do you just spend all your days hexing people?”

“Lily - “

“I haven’t spoken to her for like a month, if you’re having problems then perhaps it’s because she’s realised what a psychopath you are.” Hermione snapped as she rubbed her arm as Snape had some decency to look slightly ashamed, pushing his wand further back into his sleeve and glaring down at her.

“She hasn’t been the same since school started.” Hermione stared at him with her mouth open, completely confused as to what was happening, she could have sworn he was looking for some sort of advice.

“Perhaps your little Slytherin friends are the reason...I mean they do go around cursing and threatening Muggleborns, can’t expect her to be fine with that, can we?” She raised her eyebrow as he sneered again and the helpless look was gone, replaced by one she was all too familiar with since it was often directed towards her brother and Sirius.

“You don’t understand.”

“What’s not to understand, Snape?” Hermione asked harshly, taking a step closer and almost smirking that they were the same height, her eyes narrowed. “You’re making a choice that will cost you everything and blaming everyone else - “

“You think you’re so great don’t you, Saint Potter, you and your brother pretending like you are too good for everyone else – but you’ll both get what’s coming to you.” He whispered the words and she tried to hold back the shiver that came with them. A part of her wondered if he had invented his group of spells, if he was just itching to test them out and looking for a reason.

“Don’t threaten me Snape, we both know it won’t end well for you.” Hermione hissed back, watching the slight fear shine through his eyes as she twirled her wand between her fingers and glared up at him “Well if that’s all then I best get back to what I was actually doing before you stopped me with this useless conversation and mild hexes.”

With that she turned and made her way to the bottom of the steps, stopping when she heard him mumble something and a stinging jinx hissed beside her feet, turning she glared at him and waved her wand, holding out her hand and smirking when his own wand landed in her small palm. It felt wrong to hold, just as cold as the boys hands and just as dark as his eyes.

He stared at her in shock and it took her a second to realise she had done it without even uttering a word, a non-verbal spell from a third year who spent most of her lessons seeming to barely pay attention.

“Erm...what’s going on here?” The pair turned to see Sirius stood there looking between them, arms crossed and a frown on his face, silver eyes seeming to swim with hate at the boy on the stairs.

"Give me my wand back Potter." Snape snapped, storming down the stairs and ignoring Sirius who moved a step closer to Hermione. She rolled her eyes and took a step away from them both, keep the wand tightly in her hand and glaring at the boy. Sirius grabbed it from her and moved to in front of her, waving the wand in the boys face.

“Should have known better than trying with Hermione, Snivellus, watch your back.” Her tossed the wand in the air and smirked when Snape scrambled to grab it, glaring at the pair of them but seeming to decide better than trying to take them both on, especially when Sirius was smirking and looking so casual like he knew he had won for today.

Neither of them spoke as he stormed off, watching the round shoulders disappear up the stairs. Hermione let out a sigh, crossing her arms over her chest and marching away from the other boy, sending a look over her shoulder.

His feet hit against the ground and she knew he was following her without even looking back, could practically see his long legs and swaggering walk, flicking his hair out of his eyes and smirking at the girls they passed.

“Hermione.” And then he was in front of her, leaning outside the hospital and grinning at her but there was something in his eyes, something that told her just how annoyed he actually was. “Why are we going to the Hospital Wing, did Snivellus do something to you?” She rolled her eyes and tried her best to rub her arm where the stinging hex had hit.

“We aren’t going anywhere and no, believe it or not Sirius, I can take care of myself.”

Sirius reached to grab her arm before she could enter the room, pulling her back and ignoring her huff of annoyance as she pulled herself away from him. “Snape isn’t like other people Hermione, he knows more hexes and curses than the whole school put together and you don’t want to be on the end of that.” His concern was strong and his hand was resting on her shoulder.

Hermione bit her tongue and forced herself to swallow the words bubbling up in her throat. She could tell him how much worse she had had it at the knife and wand of his cousin, she could tell him how she had been petrified or how her own father in this life had – but it would only cause more questions, only make her have to tell the truth that was far too unbelievable.

And Snape was a child, he wasn’t the same man she had known in the other life, but she held an anger towards her. He was the reason things were so awkward between her and Lily, he was reason her brother had learnt to defend himself so fast – and there was so much more.

As she stared at Sirius, she couldn’t help but remember the hostile energy that still existed in twenty years. A frown formed on her face, Snape knew Peter – he was a Deatheater and he knew who was innocent the whole time, he knew who the real betrayer was and yet he never said anything and just let Sirius rot because of some old grudge.

“Fucking Snape.”

“I agree but - “

Hermione cringed as she realised she had spoke out loud before she settled on frowning at Sirius and shaking her head. “I’ll be careful, promise, but trust me, I can deal with Snape.” With that she turned on her heal and strode into the wing, eyes scanning everywhere and landing on her brothers messy hair. “Remus!”

The boy in question stared at her as she sat herself down on the edge of his bed, watching from the corner of her eye as James sent Sirius a shocked look. “Hermione?”

“Tell your friend to stop following me around and let him know that I can take care of myself.” Hermione spoke, throwing another glare to Sirius before smiling at Remus who looked between them all shocked, shifting in his bed and wincing at his cuts, as he tried to pull the sheet to cover his bare chest much to Hermione’s amusement.

“I – I - “

“Oh stop worrying, I know what’s happened and why you are in here.” Hermione patted his leg gently and offered him a smile. She couldn’t say why she had chosen today to say anything but she was happy to go with the flow and at least let one secret out.

“You know I’m a - “

“Werewolf?” She grinned as she whispered the words and leant closer to him, watching as he all but flinched away from her and then turned to his friends in shock, she didn’t need to turn around to know how shocked they looked. “I don’t know whether to be offended, you do know I am smarter than these two?.” She pointed to the boys behind her and ignored the cries. “I figured it out during first year.” Or rather twenty years from now in the future, but a white lie never hurt.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Remus asked suddenly, sitting up in the bed and looking at her angrily, his sheet slipping though he didn’t seem to care at this moment. “Why are you even here when you know what a monster I am?” Hermione frowned at him, preparing to make the same speech she had done so many times in the future.

“Remus, mate, we’ve been through this.” James spoke softly and Hermione turned to look at her brother as he glared at his friend. “Just consider it a Potter thing that we aren’t scared of ‘Monsters’ and leave it at that.” He chuckled at the end as Sirius frowned but didn’t say anything.

“That and also, it was hard to mention anything when you spent first year barely speaking to me and our second year for us to actually be friends.” Hermione rolled her eyes and levelled him with a look that had him blushing. “Also, call me crazy, but I didn’t think I should just announce that I knew about your Furry Little Problem.” With a shrug of her shoulders she shifted on the bed as Sirius chuckled behind his hand.

“You might be a little crazy to be friends with a – wait did you just say we’re friends?”

“Really?”

“Of course that’s you focus on. Of course, Remus, I don’t just study with strangers.” Hermione joked, ignoring James and Sirius from behind them, reaching out to take his scared hand and offering him a kind smile. His cheeks turned red again and his light green eyes hide behind his shaggy sandy hair, but there was a slight smile on his lips.

“This is all great and everything but can we talk about Snape.” Remus pulled his hand away as Hermione frowned and turned to look at Sirius, his silver eyes trained on the piece of bed where her hand still rested, something strange swirling behind them.

“Why would we talk about him?” James asked, crossing his arms over his chest and looking just as put out as Hermione did, except he wasn’t glaring at Sirius like she was.

“Because your sister just expelliarmused him after what looked like a pretty intense conversation.”

“What!”

“Mr Potter, keep it down.” Madam Pomfrey called as she appeared beside the curtain, looking between the three uninjured teenagers with a glare, seeming confused when she landed on Hermione and then she turned away and left them there, muttering to herself under her breath.

“Sorry Poppy...huh I never realised she had the same name as our elf – not the point, why were you speaking to Snape?” James fully turned to face her now, though he looked far more annoyed than Sirius did, his tongue clicking against the back of his teeth and his hazel eyes flashing dangerously behind his glasses.

“I didn’t go looking for him and anyway we should be making sure Remus is feeling better.” Hermione suggested, turning back to the werewolf as he cringed and looked at the glass of water on his nightstand.

“Mr Lupin is to take his potions and rest, it would be ideal if the three of you were to stop harassing him with your problems that I will pretend I didn’t hear.” And just like that Madam Pomfrey was back, all but shooing Hermione from her place on the bed and giving them all a stern stare to match McGonagalls “Now out, all of you.”

“Of course, dear Poppy, friend we will be back later, now I going to go have a few words with my problematic sister, come Hermione.” Hermione didn’t get to speak as James grabbed her arm and all but pulled her from the room, only managing to wave her hand over her shoulder and send him a smile, slapping Sirius when he tried to push her hand down.

The smile didn’t fall from her face as they passed a number of students, trying to keep her footwork up with her brothers and only letting the facade drop when they stood in an empty and dimmer cove of the castle, glaring at each other.

None of them spoke, seeming content to let someone else do it. Hermione rolled her eyes and leant against the wall, raising her eyebrows at the boys as she waited, watching them have some sort of conversation with only their eyes.

“Well…”

“What were you thinking?”

“You know, Sirius has already had this conversation with me.” Hermione pointed to his best friend who rolled his eyes and copied her stance on the opposite wall, except he didn’t seem amused like she did and settled on frowning at her instead.

James let out a scoff, the corners of his mouth turning up only to be pushed down and replaced with a look that just screamed Euphemia. “Lucky you, now you get it from me too.”

“It would be better if you both just let it be, but I see that’s impossible.” Hermione sighed as she spoke, pushing herself off the wall and picking some invisible lint off of her turtle-neck. “So I’ll just state, me and Snape had a conversation, things were said, he tried something and I stopped it...the end.” Her hands clapped together and she grinned, only for it to fall when the boys narrowed their eyes even further.

“And you think he’ll just let this go?” Sirius asked with a scoff, picking at something under his nails.

“I don’t understand how the pair of you can lecture me on Snape, when you both spend your days tormenting him.” Hermione pointed out. Her head hurt and she was already feeling tired of the whole situation, it wasn’t like she spent her days fighting with Snape that she needed to be pulled aside and told off like a child.

“And getting hexed, jinxed and whatever else by him too.” Sirius snapped, raising his arm to show a fresh bruise that only served to annoy her more and make her want to drag Snape throw the halls by his greasy hair until he apologised.

“Listen, I appreciate the concern, it’s sweet but I am, and always have been, more than capable of looking after myself...so please just leave it alone.” Hermione bit out, grinding her teeth together and forcing out a smile towards Sirius who shook his head and looked away from her.

“Hermione, you’re my sister, if you think I’m just going to let him - “

“Yes I do, because I don’t get involved between the three of you so don’t get involved here, nothing needs to be done.” Her tone was final, something she had learnt from Fleamont when he was done with his sons antics, James seemed to understand as his mouth snapped shut and his lips thinned into an annoyed smile.

“And what if he - “

“Then he does it, Sirius, I won’t spend my life hiding behind the pair of you or looking around every corner.” Hermione answered before he could finish, turning back to look at her brother and raising her eyebrows. “Now can we be done with this?”

“Fine, I’m not happy, but fine.”

“James!”

“Mate, she’s right - “

“Hermione?” The three turned to see Regulus stood a few steps away from them, looking so much like his brother except his eyes shone brighter than Dumbledore’s and he lacked the same sense of confidence and casual arrogance.

Her mouth opened slightly and her tongue rolled around as she considered the younger boy. The one who had done what he thought what was right after making a terrible decision only to end up dead at the hands of the inferi. And yet here he stood before her after barely looking her way in the past year, twelve and a young boy with a whole future ahead of him.

“What do you want, Reg?”

“I...er...I saw what happened with Severus...I wanted to see if you were okay.” Although he answered his brother, his eyes stayed on her, straying to where she knew the mark of the sting would be.

“I’m fine thank you.” She spoke softly, giving him a pointed look that he seemed to understand as he nodded his head and shifted from foot to foot. A small smile made it’s way to her face, Sirius had always spoke about his Death Eater brother, it was hard to imagine that was what this young man would become if she didn’t do anything.

“Great, you’ve checked on her, you can go now.” Sirius snapped, glaring at the boy, his whole body tense as Regulus gulped and finally looked at his brother.

“Sirius.” Hermione felt her eyebrows raise as she heard her brother. She hadn’t expected him to disapprove, but instead to feel the same and support his friends – maybe he felt different having a sibling himself, being the younger one.

Regulus didn’t say anything else, slowly turning and letting out a sigh that had Hermione moving forward, still a few steps away as his nervous eyes landed on her and his mouth opened in shock. “Regulus, you know can still talk to us, right, about anything?” It came out of her mouth before she could stop it, a slight wince on her face as Sirius sucked in a breath behind her.

Her and Regulus hadn’t been close, their last interaction had been a quick head nod five months ago and before that when they were all but babies. He wasn’t Sirius, who had had them for nearly a decade, because he didn’t know who to follow. The brother who spent more time with friends and had the confidence to escape the family or the family who provided him with everything and filled his head with ideas.

And she couldn’t let him go through Hogwarts without thinking he had someone to talk to. If it would do anything, honestly she didn’t know, but she could try – she could try and give Sirius his brother she knew he missed.

The boy didn’t speak again, leaving the three there, but the corners of his mouth ticked up and his steps seemed a bit lighter. Hermione watched him go, and then she was spinning on her heel and heading towards the Great Hall.

“What was that?”

“What was what?”

“You offering my slimy snake of a brother some weird kind of friendship.” Sirius snapped, throwing his arm in the air and all but growling at her. She was reminded of an older Sirius, one who held onto his grudges and prejudices against Slytherin with no temptation to grow up and see reason.

“First of all; there is nothing wrong with being a Slytherin and second; he’s twelve, Sirius and he spent the better part of last year with no friends and his own brother ignoring him.” He had enough decency to look a little shamed but it was gone within a flash and he was storming around to stand before her, glaring at her like she didn’t understand in the slightest.

“Because I know what he’s like - “ Sirius whispered, his hand coming to rest over his chest and his silver eyes flooded with more emotion than she had ever seen from him. “He isn’t like me, he’s spent the past twelve years believing everything our family has said… give it a few years and he’ll be killing Muggleborns to please You-Know-Who.” It was Hermione’s turn to wince now, to look away from him.

“His name is Voldemort.” And yet the word fell like a whisper from her tongue and shiver ran through her body as Sirius’ eyes turned wide and his mouth fell open while James winced. “You do know that fear of a name, only increases fear of the thing itself.” Her lips twitched as she realised for the first time in a few years she sounded more like Hermione Granger, but it fell as Sirius glared at her. “As in regards to Regulus, we can’t know that for sure, perhaps if we can show him then he won’t be as inclined to follow his family but instead follow his big brother.”

Sirius lips twisted, raising at the sides as though he was amused by the idea but it was gone as quickly as it appeared as they stood outside the entrance of the Great Hall. “I’ll believe it when I see it.” He moved towards the tables where their friends sat but Hermione reached to grab him before he could get there.

“I won’t let him become one of them, Sirius.”

He stared at her for a second, biting on his bottom lip as he pulled his wrist out of her grasp. He didn’t say anything more, didn’t offer her any agreement or disagreement but instead sat himself beside James, leaving her to move into the seat opposite her brother with a sigh.

“What was that about?” Marlene asked as the three of them sat down at the table. She cast a look to Lily as the redhead moved away from the table. Hermione frowned and watched her go.

“Nothing – just nothing.” Hermione whispered, picking at a piece of toast as the boys began shovelling food into their mouths like they hadn’t eaten in days, Hermione placed her elbows on the table, closer to Marlene and whispered just for her to hear. “What did Lily say?”

“Mi’…” Marlene sighed before she nodded her head. “Nothing really, she just wanted a catch up but if it helps I think she misses you too.” She offered a bright tooth smile and Hermione shrugged her shoulders but she couldn’t stop the smile that appeared on her face, even if she knew Lily wouldn’t be speaking to her anytime soon. “Are they about to kiss?”

Hermione frowned, turning to face her brother and Sirius as they spoke, their faces inches apart though they pulled back at her words, much closer than two people needed to be unless they were planning something. “Shut up Marlene.” The boys cried together, putting an unnecessary amount of space between them.

“Leave it alone, Jaime.” Hermione spoke softly, focusing on her brother as he tried to look as innocent as he could and not like he kept turning to glare at the Slytherin table and a certain greasy haired boy sat there. “Just for once in life leave it alone.”

“Why would I do that?” James whispered back, giving in and leaning across the table.

“What’s happening here?” Marlene asked, gesturing between the two, the stared at her for a second, seeming to contemplate something before they looked back to each other with matching glares and tensed jaws.

“Because I’m asking you to.” Hermione snapped back, sitting herself fully back in her chair and rolling her eyes as James narrowed his own and opened his mouth to speak but she beat him too it, pointing to the door of the Great Hall. “And you literally just said you would.”

“But that was before I saw his stupid face.” James whined, slamming his hand against the table, turning to look over his shoulder and send another glare to Snape that had the black eyed boy staring back in disdain.

“Can someone answer me?” Marlene spoke again but no one turned to face her this time.

“Hermione - “

“You both started this with cruel jokes, and since then all three of you have gone back and forth, I refuse to be dragged into this so for love of Merlin’s left bloody ballsack, just leave it alone.” Hermione snapped, standing up and placing her hands on the table to glare between the boys. “Or I swear to Merlin I will hex you you both so hard you won’t be able to walk for a week.” James flinched and Sirius gave her an intrigued look.

“Anyone ever tell you you look fit when you’re being all worked up?”

“Anyone ever tell you to stop talking like that to my sister?” James snapped, reaching up to slap the back of Sirius’ head as the long black haired back let out a laugh and pushed his best friend away, grinning widely and turning back to look at Hermione, who was just happy they were letting things go.

“Can’t help it Jamie, she’s like a little kitten with sharp claws, adorably terrifying.”

“Thank you?” Hermione questioned as the two boys began fighting in their seats, hands slapping shoulders and both boys letting out laughs leaving her to sit herself back down and finish her breakfast in peace.

“Anytime, love.”

"Oh Merlin, I think I might throw up."

…

Saturday the 3^rd of November 1973

Marlene and Hermione looked at each other as they stood at the bottom of the girls' stairs, staring at the chaos before them.

They had known Sirius would celebrate his birthday—the first one he had at Hogwarts that fell on a weekend—and they should have expected he would take it to the next level. However, they didn’t expect it to be this grand.

There were many people using it as an excuse to celebrate a late Halloween, mainly the fifth to seventh year who seemed to be pouring back drinks like they were a glass of pumpkin juice while the fourth years tried to copy and the third years were more than happy to try and get drunk on their butterbeers and sneaking shots of something else.

Hermione Granger would have scolded them without a second thought, but Hermione Potter smiled as she grabbed one of the drinks from the table and made her way to the sofa with Marlene, where they spent the better part of the next couple of hours watching people get drunker and drunker until only the strongest and their friends remained.

“Guys!” Remus appeared in front of them with a grin on his face, gesturing for them to stand up. He held their hands and twisted around to the music that was playing far too loud. He was clearly not too sober but enjoying himself nonetheless. “We should go up to the dorm before McGonagall comes in for curfew.” He didn’t wait for them to answer but instead pulled them towards the boys' stairs.

Hermione cringed as she passed a couple snogging, trying to push herself further into the wall and giggling when Marlene scoffed at them.

Weak technique there, Shacklebolt.” The guy turned around, and Hermione’s eyes widened as she stared at a much younger version of a man she had once admired. He didn’t seem to notice her as he stumbled on the step and narrowed his eyes at Marlene.

“Fuck off McKinnon.”

“Remus...ah, here you are.” James stumbled up the stairs, falling into Hermione, who did her best to steady him while Sirius swayed behind and grinned at Kingsley, waggling his eyebrows. “Nice work, Kings...what was I going to say?” He frowned at Sirius who shrugged his shoulders, both of them thinking over what had sent them rushing up here.

“What on earth is going on in here?”

“Ah yes that was it, McGonagall is here!” James hissed, pushing past the girls and falling into Kingsley, before he was scrambling up the stairs. Hermione felt her mouth fall open as she looked at Marlene and then they were running behind the boys and giggling, falling into the room as Sirius slammed and locked the door behind them.

“Hey, where’s Pete?” Marlene asked as she looked around the room, Hermione frowned too staring at the room that was much like the girls' though with four beds instead of five and seemingly much more space than they had.

“He was caught, so we had to leave him behind.” Sirius spoke softly, falling onto what Hermione could only assume was his bed due to the mess that seemed to be his duvet and the clothes falling out of his trunk and models in bikinis above his pillow. Unless he suddenly had a love of chocolate and books, was keeping something strange in his trunk that stunk, or had developed a strange obsession with cleaning and felt the need to keep photos of the Potter family without him in them.

Hermione moved instead to her brothers bed, leaning her head on his shoulder, careful of his Quidditch gear resting on his trunk and crossed her legs as Marlene sat herself down in the middle of the floor and stretched out, with Remus all but jumping onto his own bed.

They stayed like that, trading butterbeers and a bottle of firewhiskey Sirius had somehow acquired, though they only took gentle shots. They spoke and played games, laughing amongst themselves and tried not to be too self-conscious about Remus and his Polaroid camera, the constant flash and the stack of growing photos, that only seemed to increase when Sirius took off his shirt and began singing as loud as he could.

There was no mention of Peter, no one seeming to even remember that their friend should have probably been in bed by now. Hermione knew she should have brought it up but it was far too relaxing to sit and laugh as James’ eyebrow caught fire during his intense version of snap with Marlene, the pair of them laughing like old friends.

She couldn’t tell you what time they went to sleep, neither girl bothered too much about moving to their own room, despite what rumours Emmeline and Jenny would spread the next day. Instead Hermione took it upon herself to make sure everyone was tucked into bed.

Remus was pretty easy, all she had to do was bribe him with the promise of chocolate. Marlene had collapsed in James’ bed, but her brother seemed to find joy in her chasing him around the room until she shoved him beside Sirius, trying not to blush as he laid there in his boxers fast asleep. It was easier when she couldn’t see him and could curl up beside Marlene and close her eyes.

...

Monday the 10 ^th of December 1973

The full moon shone brightly through the windows of the Gryffindor Common room, a white circle hanging in the sky that would have been beautiful if Hermione wasn’t more focused on what it meant for Remus at this very moment.

She leant on a bench, staring out the window, hoping for the millionth time that he would have an easy transformation, though she knew it would be painful. A sigh left her mouth as she looked down at her parchment, trying to remember the ingredients once again for the Wolfsbane potion that hadn’t even been discovered yet, half tempted to knock on the Slytherin common room and ask for Damocles Belby.

Not that that would do much, as he was in his seventh year and they had never even spoken. How many more years would they have to wait before it was developed?

Her hands rubbed over her face before her head fell back to rest on the wall. She would join the boys if she could, trying to turn themselves into animals, but her own research had been slow going and there was only so many ingredients one could take before someone started noticing and she couldn’t take this away from the boys.

“Hey.” Hermione looked up to see Marlene entering the pretty empty common room, her eyes drifting to the fire that was nearly out and offered little to no light. Her watch showed her that it was later than she realised but she felt no need to move up to the dormitory and instead focused on the icy blue eyes that still shone in the dark.

“Hey, you ok?”

Marlene let out a sigh, sitting herself beside Hermione, as the other girl folded her parchment and placed it in her book, hiding it from view as Marlene passed her a letter. IIt looked as though it had been read multiple times, folded and already thinner than it should have been given the date on the side, with a small burn mark beside it.

Dear Marlene,

We received your letter regarding your permission to come home this Christmas and we believe it would be more prudent for you to stay at Hogwarts and focus on your studies, as we ourselves will be unavailable for the holidays due to our work and previous commitments.

It had also come to our attention, through your brother, that you have spent more of your time running around behind your friends and becoming more acquainted with the boys in your school. Such behaviour is unacceptable and could cause backlash on our family that we have spent so much time trying to raise up in society.

We ask that you begin to think more about your family and your future, as you know rumours last a long time and it will do no good to any potential match if you are seen as some brazen hussy.

Take care and think of your family,

Your mother, Kathleen McKinnon.

Hermione stared at the letter in shock as she gulped down the lump in her throat and let the paper rest on her knee. “And I thought Sirius’ family was bad.” Her throat was dry, but she managed to elicit a small chuckle from Marlene, who reached for her letter, balled it up, and threw it into the dying embers.

They both stayed there for a while, watching as the paper slowly burn at the edges before Marlene shifted and turned to look back at Hermione with a sad smile on her face, her eyes watery at the edges. “Guess I can’t ask you to stay with me here can I?”

Hermione opened her mouth to speak before closing it. She would if she could, but James, Sirius and Remus would all be heading to the Potter Manor and she had promised her mother she would be home. “What if you came to stay with us, I’m sure my parents wouldn’t mind.”

“My parents would.”

“No, no, come on, I’ll write to my mother and have her write to your parents, if Euphemia Potter can talk around the Blacks to letting Sirius stay with us then your parents will be no problem.” Hermione spoke as she pulled out a bit of spare parchment paper, writing down a quick note for her mother as Marlene looked over her shoulder with a frown.

“I didn’t even say yes.” Though her tone was sarcastic, there was a small curve to Marlene’s mouth and her eyes were no longer watery.

“I’ll send this off in the morning but for now just know the answer is yes.” Hermione grinned at her friend as Marlene nodded her head and stayed beside her as Hermione went back to looking out of the window, a mixture of sadness and relief settling in her heart as she swore she heard a pained howl.

Marlene didn’t ask why they were sat there, didn’t seem phased as Hermione stared at the moon in the sky for the next couple of hours. Marlene didn’t mention it was a school night or how early they had to be up, nor did she ask any questions It wasn’t like she knew, but she seemed to sense it was important for Hermione to be here, offering silent support to something she couldn’t understand.

Yet Hermione felt her mind drift towards the McKinnon family. She had never met them and the only stories she had heard were those from the past; a whole family killed in one night by Deatheaters, and whatever bits of information Marlene felt like giving this time around.

She knew they were cold, probably more similar to Sirius’ family, though without the penchant for killing Muggles.. Traditional and pureblood in a way that Hermione had never had to deal with at the Potter’s.

…

Saturday the 22^nd of December 1973

Hermione grinned as she stretched in her compartment, placing her feet in James’ lap, her brother letting out a sigh as she knocked his book but he didn’t so anything more. She was tempted to comment on the fact that he was reading when all his other friends seemed more than content to play exploding snaps and plan their pranks for the upcoming year.

She opened her mouth to speak, but thought better of it when she saw the title of the book and noticed how his eyes drifted to the auburn-haired girl passing their compartment, who quickly glanced at them before storming away.

“She’ll come around.” Remus muttered to her and offered a small smile only to flinch at the narrowed eyed glare she sent his way.

It had been months since Lily and Hermione had actually had a decent conversation that lasted longer than two minutes and didn’t involve small talk in front of their mutual friend Marlene – and now Remus who Lily seemed to have stolen as her studying partner since apparently sticking with Hermione was now a no go.

How ridiculous was the whole thing, so childish and not at all mature in any way. Hermione running around after her friends trying to find out what was being said and Lily being standoffish and refusing to speak about her at all. Merlin, Lily even seemed to get along better with Sirius. This is what she got for having a female friend after spending all her years with boys.

The train came to a slow stop, Hermione letting out a sigh, pulling her feet from her brothers lap and kicking his book out of his hand as she did so. His hazel eyes turned to glare at her but she just smiled sweetly back at him and pulled herself off of the comfy seats of the train.

The whole of the school seemed eager to take their time in getting off the train, stopping to speak to friends and leave the group of five stuck behind them waiting impatiently as a group of Hufflepuffs stood laughing together at the entrance only to be shoved out of the way by Hermione as she glared at them while walking past.

“Guys…erh guys!” The group stopped to look at Peter as he struggled to keep with them on his legs, eyes flickering everywhere and hands gripping his trunk tightly. He looked so small and much younger than they all did, like a little boy chasing after them. “I have to go meet my parents, but I’ll see you after Christmas.” He looked so hopeful, watery eyes on the boys as they offered him half-hearted waves and turned away from him.

None of them saw his smile drop or his hands fall by his sides but Hermione did and she couldn’t help but frown when her stomach twisted slightly at the sight, his eyes landed on her and she offered him a fake smile. “Bye then, Pete.”

With that she turned on her heel, cloak swishing by her feet dramatically and curls bouncing behind her as Marlene offered a wave of her own. This Christmas was looking up to be amazing, Marlene was staying, there was no Peter for whatever reason and she would be with her family.

“What are you grinning at?” Marlene asked as they walked behind the boys, their long necks craning to look for the Potters while Hermione all but skipped beside her.

“Two whole weeks without Peter, honesty it’s a dream come true and the best gift he could have ever given me.” Hermione giggled, spinning around on her heels and catching her trunk before it smacked to the ground, laughing when Crookshanks let out a hiss at her and the boys threw her matching looks with narrowed eyes.

“I don’t know what he did to you - “

“Just him existing is enough reason.” Hermione mumbled under her breath so only Marlene could hear, her friends elbow catching her rib and making Hermione hiss under her breath, her eyes catching Remus’ as he raised an eyebrow at her. Stupid werewolf hearing.

“ - but perhaps you could try be nicer to him, he thinks you hate him.” James carried on speaking, sending her a pointed look over his glasses, looking for a second like Dumbledore.

“I’ll try.” She promised him sweetly, crossing her fingers behind her back and tilting her head to the side that had Sirius rolling his eyes because they all knew it was bullshit, but she just needed more time to make them see what a little rat Peter was so they would ditch him once and for all, or he would choose a different path.

“My precious babies!” Hermione didn’t have time to react, her arm knocking into James’ as she was pulled into a familiar neck, the smell of fresh flowers and powder overwhelming her as their mother all but cried between them.

“What is happening?” James mouthed to her as she shook her head and the arms pulled around her tighter, pushing her face closer to James until their noses were nearly touching and they were both staring at each other in disgust as they tried to pull out of Euphemia’s tightly gripped arms until they only ended up pushing each other.

“Mum!”

“I have missed you both so much, I am half tempted to never let either of you leave home ever again.” There was a kiss placed above Hermione’s eyebrow and arms pulling them in so tight Hermione thought her ribs might crack under the pressure, their mother not seeming to notice she was a wands length away from killing her own children with her love.

“Euphemia, dear, perhaps you should let our children go before they pass out or you cry yourself hoarse.” Fleamont was there suddenly, pulling the arms away as James and Hermione both sucked in breaths and avoided the eyes of their friends while their mother all but cried before them and their father seemed to think it was important to pull them behind him.

“Nonsense Flea, honestly what mother wouldn’t do the same...now Sirius and Remus, how lovely to see you.” Euphemia was off again, pulling the boys into her surprisingly strong arms and placing a kiss on their cheeks as Hermione and James chuckled from where they stood at their fathers side, his arms around them both. “I am so excited to have you both with us for Christmas.”

“Thank you for having us Mrs Potter.”

“How many times have I told you Remus, it’s Aunt Effie, stop trying to make me sound so old.” Euphemia scolded playfully but her hands reached up to brush away the greying hair and her eyes crinkled with crows feet and lines from her years on earth. She gave them both another smile before turning to see Marlene shifting from foot to foot. “And you must be Marlene, Hermione has told us so much about you and we are very excited to have you stay with us.”

Marlene looked between the parents, eyes wide as Fleamont showed her a soft smile. “It really is a pleasure.”

“Well thank you for having me Mr and Mrs Potter, I’m really looking forward to it.” James let out a cough behind his hand, hiding his laugh, despite the icy glare that was sent his way as Marlene tried to act more formal and polite than they had ever known her.

“And you’re sure your parents - “

“Mr and Mrs Potter?” The group went silent as they stared at the couple before them, not taking a second to guess who they were with their various shades of golden blond hair, cold blue eyes and tan skin. The woman seemed slightly lighter in both skin and hair, and her eyes were more grey and stern. Her husband, however, watched them all with cold eyes and a tense smile.

Where Marlene got her attitude for chaos and having fun seemed like a mystery. Though now she seemed a second away from curling up in a ball or running away.

Fleamont stepped forward with an easy smile, holding out his hand waiting for Mr McKinnon to stop his staring to reach forward and take his hand. “Nice to meet you both, you must be Marlene’s parents – how do you do?”

“We just wanted to thank you for taking her in over the holidays.” Mr McKinnon spoke, his voice low and bored as Fleamont tensed and Marlene looked relieved, moving to stand closer to the Potter’s now that she wasn’t going to be whisked away.

“Of course, she is more than welcome – though it must be hard not to see her over the holidays, if you have some free time, we are having a ball on Christ-”

“We appreciate the offer but our plans leave no room for any change.” Mr McKinnon cut off Fleamont, looking at his wife over his shoulder as she jutted out her chin and looked forward. “Well, thank you again, we must be off now – behave yourself and we will see you in the summer.” The man turned to Marlene, offering a tense smile as Mrs McKinnon nodded her head at her daughter. “Come along Matias.”

Hermione turned her head, frowning as she noticed the shy and awkward seventh year Matias watching them all with a frown, looking like a more masculine version of his sister with darker hair and a sadder smile. He hesitated for a few seconds, watching his parents walk away from them all before he turned back to face them, dropping his head slightly as he spoke. “Have a good Christmas, Mar – I’ll see you in the new year.”

“Yeah thanks.” Marlene bit out, her own eyes narrowing as she moved to stand between Sirius and Remus, the former throwing his arm over her shoulder and lifting his chin as he stared at the man.

Hermione half expected Matias to turn and follow his family but his eyes drifted to her, softening from the iciness they portrayed and his cheeks flushing with a slight blush as he offered her a rare smile and then pushed his glasses up his nose, offering her a shy wave and barely there goodbye before he was all but running away from them.

“No offence Mar, but your family are so weird.” James whispered out as Fleamont and Euphemia ushered them off the platform, whispering between themselves and all but ignoring the five teens trailing along behind them. “I mean what was that with Hermione just now?”

“Are you stupid James?” Sirius asked from behind them as he stomped beside Remus who seemed to have found the whole situation amusing and was chuckling to himself. “McKinnon obviously has a thing for your sister.” The three turned around to stare at him in shock before James looked at Marlene, who scowled up at him, then grinned.

“He was talking about my brother but I can’t say I would mind Mi’, if you’re interested.” She grinned cheekily, all previous thoughts about family leaving her mind as Hermione rolled her eyes and Sirius leered between them while James shook his head.

…

“This place is amazing!” Hermione jumped from her place on her bedroom floor as her door slammed open and Marlene appeared with a wide grin, walking into the room without even a care for an invite. “It makes the McKinnon estate look like a pig farm. Why do you have such a big house when there are only four of you?”

Hermione smirked slightly, closing her book and placing it on one of the piles before her. “I suppose it’s for all the wayward Witches and Wizards that end up strutting through our front door and never leaving.” She joked as Marlene nodded her head in agreement. Four people actually lived here, but their friends seemed to have taken some semi-permanent residence.

“I feel like I should be offended that you have never invited me over before.”

“Can you blame me for wanting to keep it to myself for a while?” Hermione joked as she watched Marlene bounce onto her bed and stroke the sheets. “I’m sorry, if it helps I did always want to invite you over and well...I suppose now you’re welcome anytime.” Marlene’s smile fell slightly and her fingers began to play with her jumper.

“Which I might take up…” There were words left unsaid, things about her family that she wasn’t quite willing to share with Hermione yet, but she settled on a grin and turned to face the girl fully. “Why are you sat on the floor...you know if I had this bed I would never leave, what do you need with such a big bed anyway?”

Hermione frowned and tilted her head to the side as she looked at the bed that was perhaps a bit bigger than she really needed. “Huh, it came with the room, I never really thought about it.”

Marlene nodded her head as she pulled herself off the bed and looked around, picking up little trinkets before placing them down slightly out of place with a grin as Hermione frowned and all but followed her around to straighten things. “Seems you and your brother are more alike than I thought - “ Before Hermione could respond Marlene was off again. “It’s very blue in here, I thought it would all be red or extra fancy.”

Hermione frowned as she looked at the walls, light blue and faded damask wallpaper to her bedspread with was a shade darker but still blue, to her old fashioned rug which was also blue. It wasn’t like she had chosen the room, but it fit her now more than she thought it would.

“Well we aren’t as Gryffindor or as fancy as people think, I’m pretty sure the house hasn’t been changed since it was bought.” Hermione explained as Marlene grimaced at the bookshelf she had, full to the brim with extra books on her floor and on her desk.

“Does your room double as a library too?”

“No.” Hermione snapped as she pulled an older book from Marlene’s hand and placed it back on the shelf. “The library is upstairs, these are all my books.”

“We need to get you out more.” Marlene joked as Hermione rolled her eyes, the smile falling from her face as Marlene picked up an old fading and slightly torn photograph from her desk, her own joking expression turning to one of sadness. “Is this your mum?”

Hermione let out a sigh as she moved forward and looked at the photograph, the only one she really had that her Grandparents had let her keep. It was moments like this where she could forget all about Hermione Granger, and focus on Hermione Potter and her own tragic life, her hand lifting to stroke the grinning caramel haired woman as she moved to kiss the curly haired baby in her arms.

“Yeah, Mon Maman, Marie.” Her tongue curled around the words, desperate to claim them while her heart twisted painfully beneath her ribs, trying to beat for someone else.

Marlene gave her a softer smile, reaching out to stroke her arm as she placed the photograph back where she found it, but her eyes remained on the woman. “She was very beautiful, you look like her.”

Maybe Marlene didn’t know what she was saying but Hermione couldn’t help the tears that stung her eyes. All her life she had been told she looked like her Grandmother and their side of the family, perhaps with the softer influences of the Potter blood, but no one had ever really commented on how she might look like her mother.

“Thank you.” Her voice was raspy and Marlene turned to look at her with wide eyes. “I’m fine, it was just nice to hear is all.” Her friends mouth opened in a circle as she nodded her head and seemed to tense up.

“You never really speak about her...or the rest of your family.” You’re one to talk, Hermione thought but kept it inside. It wasn’t like Marlene had gone through the same things and honestly Hermione wasn’t even sure she would be able to relate all that much to the McKinnon’s way of life.

“Not much to say, I’ve lived here since I was seven, I don’t really remember much before that and I don’t need to, the Potter’s have been my parents for a long time.” Hermione claimed, keeping her secrets close to her chest as she moved back down to her books and began reorganising them, ignoring Marlene as she sat beside her and ran her fingers over the titles.

“She’s still your mum though, maybe it - “

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Hermione sighed, those icy blue eyes pulling out things she didn’t want to think about anymore but they twisted inside her, desperate to escape the confines she had placed them in. “I love her, she was my mother but she’s not the only mother I have anymore, I am very lucky I have two people I can call mum and a father who loves a child like they should.” Hermione shifted in her seat.

“And your other...father?”

Hermione didn’t flinch but her gaze turned cold as Marlene all but prodded and poked her in the most gentle way. “I guess all I can be thankful for is that without him I wouldn’t be here, though I suppose that can be taken two ways.”

“Do you remember what happened?” Marlene asked gently and Hermione understood what she was asking and for a minute wondered maybe if this is how Harry felt when he tried to remember, the green light, the laughter and the pain that followed. Except her father hadn’t tried to kill her and Harry was just a baby.

“Not really, I was only three...mainly her screams and the way he laughed.” Hermione whispered the last part, her heart aching again and her hands itching to cover her ears from the phantom noises. “My Grandparents never liked to speak about it especially with me, instead they took me to France and hid themselves from the truth that their insane son had killed his own wife.”

A pair of strong arms wrapped around her, one hand reaching around to wipe her face of the tears she hadn’t even realised were falling, but for once she didn’t care. Her body slumped into Marlene as she cried for everyone; for her mother, for the Granger’s, for Harry and Ron, for mission she had to do, for the death of the Wizarding world and for herself.

…

The redness of her face managed to calm down, as well as the sadness by the time the two girls were called for dinner, and if there was any sign left that she had all but had a breakdown then no one mentioned it and instead focused on the delicious food that Euphemia and Poppy had put together and displayed like a feast before them.

Hermione watched as Marlene stared. A table for ten set up and everyone seeming to know their place, Euphemia and Fleamont at one end of the table, Hermione and James the middle of the table opposite each other, Sirius and Remus flanking James, Hermione pushing Marlene down between her and her father.

“Sorry we are late.” Andy called as she all but ran into the room, passing her scarf, jacket and bag to Poppy with a grin and running to press a kiss on Fleamont’s cheek, the top of Hermione’s head and then Euphemia before sitting down on the other side of Hermione with a grin.

“Ah excuse me, where is my kiss Andy?”

“Behave yourself in front of me, James.” Came Ted’s voice as he smirked at James, kissing Euphemia’s cheek and passing her the baby before sitting himself beside Sirius and Fleamont. Dora squealed in Euphemia’s arm, reaching to try and take something from the plate only for her bottom lip to wobble as she was placed in a highchair beside her mother.

“Oh Merlin, ‘Dromeda, she gets bigger every day.” Euphemia cried, running a finger over the baby’s face, her eyes filling with tears as she stared at the baby. “I can’t wait to see what you picked out for her to wear to the ball.”

“That’s if we can get it on her, nearly a year old and has already decided she hates dresses.” Ted said as Poppy poured him some whiskey, toasting to Fleamont as the older man claimed his attention once again by gesturing to some of the food on the table.

“Now, now, little Dora, you’ll wear it for Auntie Effie, won’t you?” Euphemia whispered to the baby who giggled and clapped her hands together before pointing to something on the table with grabby hands and grinning when it was placed in front of her to be chewed on. “What kind of dress did you bring, Marlene?”

The girl in question stopped with food half way to her mouth, placing her knife and fork gently on her plate and turning to look at the older woman and Andromeda as they stared at her. “I didn’t realise I had to bring a dress.” She ended by looking down at her Muggle clothes, the flare jeans and jumper, rubbing her hands together.

“Oh...oh, Hermione, did you not tell your friend about our Christmas Eve tradition?”

“In all the stress of things I kind of forgot to mention it.” Hermione spoke softly, grimacing as her mother levelled her with a look that sent chills down her back as Hermione offered a nervous smile. “I can tell her now.”

“What good is now?” Euphemia snapped as Andromeda snickered behind her hand, ignoring the narrowed eyed look Hermione sent her instead to feed her daughter. “We have an annual tradition of throwing a Christmas Eve ball, of sorts, with our friends and a few others, it is common curtsey that we all dress formally.”

“I didn’t - “

“Not to worry, my dear, I’m sure Hermione or perhaps Andromeda will be able to lend you a dress from their many options.” Euphemia spoke, looking between both girls, Hermione nodded her head and stabbed at her food while Andromeda smile at Marlene.

“I left some of them here, we can take a look after dinner if you would like.” Andy spoke as Marlene stared at her, a blush appearing on her cheeks as she nodded her head. Hermione frowned as Andy raised an eyebrow and chuckled to herself lightly.

“Good, now that’s sorted, James - “ Hermione chuckled as James sat up straighter at his mother stern face. ” - your friend Peter, will he be coming or did you forget to tell him too?” The laugh died as soon as it started as Hermione shrank back in her seat as the dig sent her way.

“I asked but he can’t.”

“And what of your other friend, Lily was it?” Euphemia asked with pursed lips, turning back to her daughter who shook her head and ignored the sad eyes and sympathetic smiles of all her friends.

“Actually, Aunt Effie, I don’t think they’re friends right now.” Sirius whispered to the woman, leaning across James to do so as Euphemia sat up straight and turned to frown at Hermione, though there was something flickering in her eyes.

“What? What happened?”

“Just an argument, nothing to worry about Mum, we just aren’t speaking at this moment.” Hermione explained shortly with a wave of her hand as Euphemia shook her head and placed her own knife and fork down.

“No, what happened...why would she not want to speak to you, my kind daughter?” Hermione kept her mouth closed and sent a quick look to James as Euphemia seemed to understand, rolling her eyes and sending a quick look to her son. “Let us not worry about it for the moment, tis Christmas after all, and we should be more than grateful for the ones that are here.”

…

Monday the 24^th of December 1973

“Hi.” Hermione spoke, knocking on her fathers open door to his office and rubbing her hands on the silk dress her mother had all but forced her into before she was then forced to socialize with a bunch of her parents friends a few lesser evil purebloods.

“Had enough of the party already?” Her father asked as she entered, slowly closing the heavy wooden door behind her and raising an eyebrow at him as he let out a chuckle and shrugged his shoulders. “I just came to check on some work.”

“Don’t worry Mum is busy entertaining Mrs Longbottom and the other ladies.” Hermione explained, eyes looking around. There had been very occasions where she had been in here, but each time she had she couldn’t help but think of how cosy it was. Small with a desk and a large chair behind, a couple of chairs in front, a fireplace roaring with a family portrait above it and walls lined with bookshelves.

“That woman is too much for me." Fleamont whispered as though he was scared Mrs Longbottom was going to appear and scold his. "Though her son, Frank I believe, is frankly one of kindest people I have ever met - pun very intended." He sent a wink across the table to her as Hermione rolled her eyes but nodded her head in agreement as she sank into her own chair. "Quite strapping too, is he in your year?"

“No, he’s a fifth year, actually he wants to be an auror.”

“What do you reckon? Do he have the skill and charm?” Her father teased as he shuffled around some papers and placed them out of her view, not that she even tried to look. She didn’t feel like being lectured into next year.

“Me and his girlfriend, Alice, both think he will make a fine auror.” Hermione answered his question with a teasing smile, watching as Fleamont’s shoulders relaxed and the smile became a bit less forced, she briefly wondered is this is how David Granger felt when had waved boys off before him.

“Alice…?”

“Prewett.”

“No relation to Gideon and Fabian I hope, I am not looking forward to them joining our auror team next year.” Fleamont let out a sigh as Hermione laughed, the Prewett twins were a handful and so much like their nephews that it made her heart ache and her smile widen.

She grinned at her father and leaned forward slightly, rest her hands on her lap and watching as his face dropped before she spoke and an easy smile appeared. “Their cousin, though much more mellow and level headed, actually I think she’ll make a wonderful auror too.”

“I’m sure she will – are there any other future aurors I need to worry about?”

“James and Sirius – possibly Marlene.” The teasing atmosphere left in an instant and Hermione was left looking at a man who looked like he had swallowed a lemon. “Don’t pull that face dad, you know what he’s wanted to be since he was seven, Sirius and Marlene just love running head first into everything, makes sense they would go for a career in it.” With a wave of her hand he settled himself and offered her a tense smile.

“There is a lot more to being an Auror than that.”

“I’m aware.”

“If anyone would make a fine one, then it would be you.”

“I don’t think I have the take charge attitude that Aurors seem to possess.” Hermione spoke with a shrug of her shoulders, it was never a career she was interested in after all the running away from danger she had done in both lives.

“I suppose not, you have always been the more behind the scenes type.” Her father spoke with a nod of his head and a happier smile, seemingly glad that one of his children had some form of common sense unlike the other. “Well what is it you want to do then?” He seemed curious, like her he couldn’t seem to see what she might do.

“I thought I was too young to decide them things.” Hermione pointed out with raised eyebrows as Fleamont nodded his head at her.

“Hermione, you are, and you’ll probably change your mind in the next year but I’m asking for the minute what you see yourself doing?” Her mouth opened and shut again because there was only one thing she had thought about doing since she got here, one mission on her mind that told hold over every career she could ever have.

“I always thought caring for James and making sure he doesn’t do anything too stupid would be my full time job.”

Fleamont let out a chuckle, nodding his head in agreement as Hermione settled comfortably back into her chair, watching as he quickly scanned over his papers before placing them in a draw and tapping his wand to lock it, eyeing her carefully.

Hermione rolled her eyes into the back of her head and offered him a smirk, raising her eyebrows and ignoring the fact that he clearly didn’t trust her not to look. “Top secret?”

“As it always has been.” Fleamont spoke, raising his eyebrows as Hermione waited for him patiently to explain but he just shook his head at her and waggled his finger with a smirk. “You know better than to be trying to fish for information.”

“Nothing to fish for when it’s in the papers as clear day for everyone to see.” Hermione mumbled she reached for the copy of the daily prophet on his desk, waving it about in her hand and then throwing it back down so he could see the title. “Or for those who actually are paying attention and reading the signs.” She added as her arms crossed over her chest.

Fleamont stared at her between slightly narrowed eyes, his teeth chewing on his bottom lip and Hermione let out a sigh. Most people her age had yet to even be concerned about the growing war, the disappearances and murders worrying them for the total of two seconds before their own life took over and they forgot all about it.

She had been the same in her first time around, so preoccupied by school work and what Harry was doing that everything else slipped out of her head. She had tried to do the same here, but with school seeming so much easier and her brother content to cause chaos with his friends – well it meant her time was more free to focus on the problems and the mission she had yet to even attempt starting.

“Hm, well that is nothing you should be concerned about.”

“No reason I shouldn’t be, it’s only a matter of time before they start talking about Witches and Wizards being attacked or missing instead of just Muggles.” Hermione snapped, her cheeks burning as her father gave her an unimpressed look and let out his own sigh.

“That won’t happen.” His voice was softer than his face, like when he spoke to her as a child, reaching out to try and offer comfort but instead she felt cold and annoyed.

“You don’t have to lie to me, dad, I know it already is and I didn’t have see your secret little folder to know that.” Hermione pointed out, pushing back the discontent in her tone and going for a tight lipped smile.

“You’ve always been too smart for your own good but this isn’t something you should be trying to involve yourself in.” Fleamont reassured her, knocking the wood on the desk and gesturing towards his door. “Now back to the party.” Hermione stood up from her chair and reached for the tarnished door knob.

“I know what I want to do.”

“What would you like to do?” He seemed happy for the change of subject, moving around his notes and cleaning up his ink as Hermione stood near the door, her hand on the handle but she wouldn’t open it, not yet anyway.

“I want to fight.” Her words were whispered but Fleamont heard them clearly as she spun around to face him once more and frowned, her mouth falling open. “That’s all I’ve wanted to do since the moment I came here.” He stared at her in shock, the double meaning falling short as he no doubt tried to picture seven year old Hermione saying the same thing.

“Hermione, don’t say that – you – you have no idea what you are even talking about.”

“My mother was murdered by a deranged man who followed behind him, my grandparents were attacked for whatever reason – people are dying everyday, and I want to help – I want to save them – I want to fight.” Her legs moved her forward until her hands were resting on the other side of his desk, brown eyes staring at him with such honesty that he seemed a little scared.

“I refuse to hear those words come from your mouth again, young lady.” His voice shook as he stood up himself, trying to sound stern but there was something else there instead.

“It might not seem bad now and it might seem like it could all go away in an instant but we both know it’s not, I am ready to do my part and do what is asked of me.” Hermione whispered back as Fleamont shook his head to every word and those strange green/blue eyes became full of anger.

“You are fourteen, no one is asking anything of you other than doing well at school and keeping your brother in check.” Fleamont snapped, before he sighed and sat himself back in his seat and rubbed a hand over his tired face. “I know you want to help, it’s mighty Gryffindor of you, but this isn’t a war I want you getting involved in and if I am lucky you will never have to be.”

The temptation to stamp her foot on the ground was strong but she held it in, it wouldn’t do good to be seen as throwing a temper tantrum right now. “They might not be asking now but they will. This war is going to go on for years, everyone knows that and it’s time to start teaching people how to defend themselves.”

“Your classes will teach you that.”

“People are dying, we can - “

“People will always die and yes it might not be pretty but we are doing the best we can.” It was the truth if she ever heard it but it still tugged at her heartstrings and made her throat tighten.

If she could save everyone then she would, if she knew every detail of the past and every person that died then she would be out there stopping it all but she didn’t, and every moment she spent here, tweaking little things just made the future that much harder to predict.

The future she had been so sure about when a part of her came back was all but washed away with every step she took, every time she tried to get Peter away from her friends, everytime she told Dumbledore what they needed to do. She was making it one step harder for herself to predict everything, except those that might have been set in stone.

“What if I knew a way to stop him?” The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them and Fleamont was staring at her, no longer angry but actually seeming to contemplate her words. “I can - “

“Hermione, sweetheart, you have a big heart, but he isn’t going to be stopped simply – leave this to the Aurors, leave it to me to keep you safe.” And just like that the hoped died in her chest and her head bowed to look at the floor. Is this how James felt when she told him to drop things, to leave things be like he was some kind of toddler?

“I can fight, I can help win this war – why can no one see that?” Her voice wobbled as the truth stirred itself around her mouth and threatened to unleash.

“Because you but a fourteen year old girl, who is yes, very intelligent, but you have yet to learn everything. You still have four more years at school and are not yet of age – if the war is still continuing then then I won’t be able to stop you but as of now I can.” Fleamont resigned himself to a sigh and Hermione felt her heart ache in another way.

Her parents, the Grangers, had had no idea what was happening in her world, no idea the murders were connected to Voldemort, if they had they might have not let her back to school. And it had hurt that they hadn’t been able to see it, putting down her panicked eyes and jumping at every sound to simply being an over paranoid teenager.

Yet here Fleamont was, trying to stop her from doing what she wanted because he wanted to keep her safe, because he loved her enough to tell her no. Still the stubborn Potter blood ran through her veins as she tried once again. “Age doesn’t matter when he is already inducting people barely a couple of years older than me.”

“So because he does it, I have to do it too?”

“Dumbledore already is.” Hermione whispered as Fleamont frowned again, though his annoyance was for someone else. “Our new DADA teacher might as well be training us for a war, we aren’t learning normal spells and he spends his time lecturing us about the importance of defence, he might as well be Alastor Moody the second.” Hermione cried out, falling back into her chair and glaring at her father.

“Why must you all push me like this?” Fleamont asked tiredly and Hermione shifted with guilt, she didn’t want to push him.

“Good, so James has spoke to about it too.” Instead of apologizing her brain seemed to have other ideas and she rolled her eyes at herself and crossed her arms over her chest as her father let out a much larger sigh and came around the desk, sitting on the other side before her.

“You and your brother...both of you are stubborn and unable to leave things as they are meant to be, and I know you want to help but you can help by keeping yourselves safe and your minds sharp.” He pointed to his temple and offered her a softer smile. “One day, you might be called upon to do your part, and I will have no choice but to stand aside and let that happen but that won’t be for years or hopefully at all – so leave it at that, please.” And that was the end it seemed.

“But - “

“Hermione, leave it please, don’t make us spend our Christmas at odds.” With that she deflated and nodded her head, slumping further back into her seat. Her mother would kill her if she ruined Christmas because she was annoyed her father hadn’t let her go out and fight.

It was so annoying being a teenager. Why couldn’t she have been sent back to when she was seventeen and able to actually do something?

“Now I imagine your mother will be looking for me, let’s go back out there so I can show off my beautiful daughter before she is sent to bed.” He held out a hand to her and pulled her up when she took it, not dropping it as he led them out of the office. “Where is your brother and your friends?”

“They thought it might be a good idea to have a Christmas Quidditch match.” Hermione pointed to the back door where a few cries and laughs could be heard and someone zoomed past the back door as Fleamont shook his head.

“Your mother will kill James if he ruins another set of robes.”

“Don’t worry Ted was with them, so I’m sure it will just be a normal Quidditch match.”

“And you didn’t feel like joining them?” Fleamont asked as they stopped outside the room they were using as a ballroom, the laughter and gentle music coming from inside.

“When have I ever?”

“Never I suppose, now smile before your mother sees that frown on your beautiful face.” Fleamont smiled himself, using his fingers to prop up the sides of her mouth and laughing when Hermione pushed him away and turned on her heel towards the back garden. “Oh and also make sure you tell Sirius to put my firewhiskey back…”She gave him a thumbs up and shook her head as he entered the room.

...

Saturday the 5^th of January 1974

Hermione stood sadly in the entrance of her house, her bottom lip jutting out as she listened to thundering footsteps from upstairs as her friends tries to organise themselves with the help of James who had had his trunk packed for days and had left it behind Hermione to be taken when they were all ready.

She missed it here when she was Hogwarts and missed Hogwarts when she was here. But this had been her house, a place where she could have her own peaceful room and her own space that she didn’t have to share, that was until half of their Gryffindor year seemed to have decided to take residence here.

“Are you still pouting?”

Hermione rolled her eyes as Sirius came from the kitchen. “I thought you were upstairs.” Hermione spoke softly, playing with her jumper as Sirius’ eyes shifted to the stairs and he frowned.

“James took over, easier to let him do it.” He spoke, voice deeper than it was a few months ago and perhaps a bit of stubble trying to come through on his chin, though a bit of his baby fat still clung to his face and his ‘muscles’ that he bragged about had yet to make an appearance. “Apple?” He offered her after a second.

“You’ve already bitten it.” Hermione pointed out as Sirius stared down at the green fruit and the freshly made dent his teeth had left.

“Merlin, you Potters are weird about these sorts of things – you’d think I had like a disease or something.” Sirius scoffed out, sending her a glare as she glanced at him amused. Was he offering the apple to James too?

“Because we don’t want to share food?” Her mouth turned up in a grin, as she leaned more weight onto one side. “Can you blame us Sirius, with all the rumours floating around about where your mouth has been, it doesn’t seem very safe to share with you.” She whispered the last part and sent him a wink to let him know she was joking.

“And I hear I was coming to offer you a late Christmas gift, only to be insulted and I believe… called a whore.” He smirked at her as she shrugged her shoulders and offered him a much sweeter smile.

His words set in a moment later as she played with her necklace, watching him from the corner of her eye as he chomped down on his apple, seeming uncomfortable with the silence as he shifted from from foot to foot. “You got me a gift?”

“Did you forget the other one I got you or were you just so overwhelmed that it got lost in the pile?”

“Of course I didn’t, I was just surprised.”

“Oh well...it’s not much.” He handed her a small square, watching as she turned it around in her hands and pulled at the wrapping paper timidly. “I heard you and your dad talking the other night...well part of it…”

“You were listening?” Hermione snapped, glaring at him, gripping the half unwrapped book in her hands and refusing to look down at it. Her heart was pounding in her chest far too fast and her throat was dry, what exactly had he heard her speak about – why was he even listening?

“Only to part of it and I understand...I want to fight too, we all do, so I saw this in Flourish and Blotts and I thought you might find it useful and maybe it can help to keep us safer.” His voice was softer, more apprehensive as Hermione let her own annoyance wash away to offer him a more timid smile.

Hermione turned the book over in her hand and smiled softly. It was a book on defensive spells, with full explanations that more in depth than what they learnt at school and in their Newt years, with a few offensive ones. Most she had never really heard of, though there were some in there and it was probably far too advanced for most fourteen year olds.

Her arms wrapped around Sirius in an instant as he patted her back awkwardly and she was reminded of just how tall he was getting. He pulled away and offered her a rare soft smile instead of his smirk.

“Thank you.”

“No problem...though you have to promise to teach us, you know, if it ever comes to that.” His hands shifted by his side, like they wanted to reach out again but thought better of it so instead he pushed them into his pockets and tilted his head to the side, tapping his foot gently against hers.

“Of course.” Hermione promised, shifting her own feet but refusing to move away.

There was a heavy moment between them as she looked into those silver eyes, shifting beneath her stare like moving stars, the smile still on his face as he reached up to place a hand on her shoulder, his mouth opening to say something.

“Oi! Are we all ready to go or what?” James’ voice carried from the top of the stairs, Hermione and Sirius jumping apart as she offered him another smile, placing the book into her bookbag on her side and he nodded his head, turning completely to look at his friend.

“James Fleamont Potter, what have I told you about shouting in the house and using Oi?” Euphemia snapped back as she came down the hall, sending a quick look to the two now blushing teens before turning to her son as he all but skipped down the stairs, hair a mess and clothes in disarray. “Merlin, my mother would turn in her grave if she could hear you!”

“I’m sure Grandmother would find me a splendid young man.” James snapped back, craning his head to try and look for his Grandmothers portrait down the hall.

“More like a ‘toerag’ like someone else in our school does.” Sirius muttered under his breath as James’ shot him a furious glare and his cheeks burned redder than a Weasley’s hair and Hermione sniggered under her breath.

“A toerag...never mind, we really must be going before we end up being late...come on everyone!” Euphemia spoke, sending looks to the three teenagers around her before clapping her hands and rushing towards the door.

“And she tells me not to shout.”

“Do as I say, not as I do.” Euphemia scolded, rubbing her sons hair as Remus and Marlene ran down the stairs, looking just as rumpled as James. Hermione wasn’t even going to ask what it is they had been doing up there that had them look like they had just rolled out of bed and pull on the first clothes they found.

“Ready Mrs Po – Aunt Effie.”

“Oh good, have you got everything?” Euphemia fretted around them, pulling on her coat and looking at each of them. “Never mind, I’ll send what’s forgotten or you can collect it in the summer - “ Marlene and Remus looked to each other, mouths open and preparing to say something only to be cut off. “ - that will be easier for everyone, I’ll leave them in your rooms – oh Merlin, let’s go.”

“Just go with it, we all know you’ll both be coming back.” Hermione whispered to the pair, running out of the door behind her mother. Marlene grinned, looping her arm through Hermione’s and Remus looked down at the floor though it wasn’t hard to see his smile.

…

Wednesday the 30 ^th of January 1974

“Now don’t forget the homework for next Wednesday, I will not tolerate anyone forgetting it or any excuses, that means you Mr Black!” McGonagall shouted as the teens made their way out of her classroom, all the laughing at Sirius as he glowered at the floor, being called out once again for his half-arsed homework.

“You’d think I had personally offended her.” Hermione nudged his shoulder, her eyes more focused on the auburn girl walking in front of her. Sirius ran off to join James, muttering something in his ear and gesturing to the book he still held. Merlin, they couldn’t be more obvious about what they were doing but at least Peter wasn’t with them.

“Lily!” The girl stopped, turning on her heels and her bright eyes widening as Hermione ran to her. “Listen, I know you aren’t speaking to me, but Happy Birthday!” Hermione all but cried with a tense smile, moving out of the way to the other students and handing over the carefully wrapped gift as Lily raised her eyebrows.

“Oh...thank you.”

“Well – you’re welcome.” Hermione nodded her head and moved to head to the Great Hall for lunch when Lily’s hand gripped her wrist.

“I – I – well – we – I - “

“Do you want to talk?”

“You know, I do and I don’t – every time I try and do this I can’t get the words out or you’re around Potter and Black which makes the whole thing more complicated.” Lily scoffed out and Hermione raised her eyebrows.

“Well they are my family and friends…” Hermione answered slowly as though speaking to a child as Lily clicked her tongue, eyes scanning the few remaining people that passed by them without a second glance, too eager to get their food than to notice that Lily and Hermione were speaking again.

“You know, you’ve been a lot more sarcastic lately, adds to the challenge of having a decent conversation with you.” Lily finally snapped and Hermione shrugged her shoulders, her mouth curving at the sides as Lily forced herself to keep a smile off of her face.

“It tends to come out when my family is insulted...but sorry, I’ll tone it down.”

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry – I’m not saying that I didn’t have reason, because your brother is a first class dick but I’m sorry for letting it go on this long.” Lily finally relented as Hermione stared at her in shock, half expecting to have some sort of argument for what James had done lately, her mouth curving up in an unsure smile.

“I suppose I could have been a bit more understanding, maybe told them to ease up a bit… so sorry for that.” It almost pained her to admit it but it seemed to bring a new light to Lily’s face and a soft smile that curved itself into her lips.

They stood there, shifting from foot to foot, an awkward silence settling around them that neither seemed to be able to move past or want to walk away from. Hermione twisted her book bag on her shoulder and Lily picked at her nails.

“Hey...shall we head to lunch?” Hermione jumped as Remus appeared between them, resting his hand on Hermione’s shoulder and sending a quick look to Lily. She had forgotten he lingered behind to speak to McGonagall about the homework. His light green eyes looked between them both, concern heavy and brows furrowed.

“Yeah I’ll catch up.” Hermione whispered back, Remus gave her one last look before nodding his head at her and sending a soft smile to Lily, leaving the pair of them there in the quiet corridor. “It’s been kind of shit not having my best friend around.”

If Lily was surprised with her admission then she didn’t show it but instead grinned slightly and shrugged her shoulders as she mumbled. “For me too.” Hermione tried not to smile back as Lily suddenly turned serious. “I’m not saying things will go back to how they were but… James is your brother and I shouldn’t have tried to come between that, but he’s just never going to be someone I can be friends with or even like.”

Hermione let an amused smile fall on her face as she wrapped an arm around Lily’s and pulled her towards the Great Hall, smirking as she spoke. “We’ll see about that.”

Chapter Text

The universe doesn't answer questions. It simply gives you signs. - unknown

Thursday the 3 1 ^st of October 1974

Hermione frowned, jumping back in shock as the door to the Astronomy tower slammed open and someone stormed past her, far too fast for her to be able to see their face, not that they paid her any mind.

“Stupid fucking idiot.” Hermione blinked again at the soft, slightly Northern voice, turning her head to see a smaller girl stood before her, one hand on the door and the other giving the finger to the descending back of the boy. Her eyes then turned to Hermione, slightly cat like and narrowed, a stormy blue that seemed even darker in the dim light. “What?”

Hermione opened her mouth to speak, surprised at the brashness, at the people up here when they probably should be at some party somewhere. “Oh sorry, I just didn’t expect anyone to be up here.”

“Why not? You Gryffindors aren’t the only ones who sneak out.” The girl snapped, but her voice seemed a bit less harsh as she stepped aside and allowed Hermione to pass onto the Astronomy tower and see her much more clearly.

She was small and curvy, clearly around Hermione’s own age, with pale skin tinged with pink and faint freckles and soft, if not slightly messy, medium blond waves. She wore Muggle clothing, that seemed to belong to someone much bigger than her and an air of perpetual annoyance.

“I didn’t mean to offend you.”

The girl let out a laugh, though it was cold and bitter. “You didn’t offend me, Hermione, that prick did.” She raised her voice and shouted it through the still open door as though she thought the boy might be able to hear her.

“Er...you know my name?” Those narrowed eyes turned back to Hermione again and frowned before a chuckle came out of her mouth and she shook her head.

“Of course, we do share classes you know, and I suppose it would be strange to not know Miss Hermione Potter, what with your backstory and friends.” Her voice was softer now as she moved to lean against the railing, waving a hand over her shoulder as though it was nothing but Hermione couldn’t help but wince as guilt climbed it’s way up her throat.

“I’m sorry, I don’t - “

“Do you ever stop apologising? It’s not like we run in the same circles, and lets be honest, you Gryffindors tend to make the rest of us invisible.” Hermione let her mouth open in shock as the girl smirked slightly and raised her eyebrows as thought daring Hermione to contradict what she was saying.

“We do not.” Was all she could fight back with, even if she knew herself that perhaps there was some truth to it.

“40 or so students in our year and I bet you can only name a few, it’s fine, nothing to be embarrassed about. I’m not offended or anything.” The girl added, her smile more tense but her eyes were honest and Hermione was thrown.

It was more on her part that she couldn’t name everyone in her year, ones above who had built their own reputations and friendships inside and outside of their house, ones connected to other students, but she had been far too wrapped up in her Gryffindor circle to take much notice of anyone else, except the Slytherins.

“Ah great you’re here...Edith?” Hermione turned to see Sirius and James entering the Astronomy tower, the pair looking between both girls, as Edith pushed herself off the railing.

“Hey Sirius.” The girl, Edith spoke, giving a nod of her head as she moved forward towards the door, turning to raise an eyebrow at her brother who was pouting at her, making the blond laugh and pat his arm. “James.”

“Wait…”

“Well I better go, can let that dick get away with anything...see you all later.” Edith spoke one last time, waving over her shoulder and descending the stairs without a second look to them.

“What was she doing here?” James asked, still pouting as he moved to stand beside her and leaning against the railing, his eyes focused on the sky as Hermione looked between the two boys, focusing more on Sirius as he sauntered over to them.

“Fight with some boy I think...how do you know her?”

“Cracking girl, Edith, wicked with a wand, quite funny and an excellent chaser.” There was a smile on his face that Hermione didn’t like, his silver eyes sparkling and his hands shoved deep into his jean pockets. Not a care in the world, and not a care that Hermione was narrowing her eyes at him.

“More like little cheater is what.” James snapped as Hermione turned to look at him in shock.

“Are you still upset because of last year?”

“I was this close -” James gestured with his fingers, the thumb and pointer finger almost touching. “- and she grabbed my broom and stole the quaffle from me, ruining my epic moment of victory, pretty sure it was a foul.” Yet despite her brothers annoyance and Hermione’s confusion, there actually seemed to be an air of awe around James, like he was impressed.

“I wasn’t aware you both knew her so well.” Hermione gulped out, gripping the cold metal and staring out at the grounds. Her heart thumped unsteadily and her stomach twisted almost painfully, thought she wasn’t quite sure why.

“She’s in our year, wouldn’t call us friends or anything, but she’s probably the only Ravenclaw who doesn’t have her nose buried in books and knows how to have a good time.” Sirius spoke again, reaching into his pocket for something, but there was a wistful little smile on his face and Hermione felt her hands clench the railing.

“Makes it sound like something happened.”

“We kissed once at a party but nothing more, got the feeling she’s more interested in our furry little friend.” Sirius waved off, sitting himself on the ground and letting his feet dangle over the edge as he pointed at the full hanging moon in the sky.

Hermione hands clenched and her stomach twisted uncomfortably as she tried her best to push the image of Sirius and this Edith from her mind, fighting the urge to snap at him and ignoring her brother as he pulled on her sleeve to sit between the boys, carefully whispering near her ear. “The reason we all came up here for.” James added, as Hermione finally gave in and sat between them. “Merlin, I can’t wait until we can help more.”

“How is the Animagus training going?”

“What how did - “

“Sirius are you smoking?!” Hermione snapped, cutting her brother off before he could continue any more and staring at the boy beside her with the cigarette between his lips and a fresh trail of smoke leaving the end.

His silver eyes flashed with amusement as he looked down at the cigarette crossed eyed, reaching to pluck it from his mouth and moving it between his fingers with a grin. “Yes?”

“Why would you do that to yourself, do you know how many health risks come with that and what it’s doing to your body, not to mention that you’re fourteen?” Hermione rambled, trying to reach around him to grab the cigarette only for his eyes to twinkle as he held it away from her and flicked the ash onto the ground.

“Almost fifteen...also I like it.” Hermione pulled away with a glare as he took another drag, her cheeks flaring as she tried not to admit to herself that he made it look almost tempting. “And not that I don’t love being lectured, perhaps you could tell us how you found out about our little secret mission.” He pointed out with raised eyebrows.

“Because you’re not as sly as you think you are, and because I spend the majority of my time with you and I notice these things.” Hermione snapped, glaring angrily at the cigarette before turning back to the full moon with a sigh.

“Well we are getting there but it isn’t easy...hopefully soon thought but for now I guess we will have to sit here and do what we can for him.” James answered, rubbing his hands together to fight the cool breeze that blew past them, winter well on it’s way.

“Even if that means missing the Halloween party?”

“We’ll go to the next one, isn’t the end of the world.” Sirius explained with a shrug of his shoulders before he gave her a sheepish grin that made her cheeks tingle slightly. “Or we’ll just throw a joint Halloween and birthday party for me this Saturday night when he’s feeling a bit better.”

Her eyes rolled but she felt a little smile appear on her face. She’d always longed for this type of friendship when she was younger, a group of people devoted to each other, giving up what they enjoyed to make themselves feel closer to the boy in pain. Perhaps it wasn’t much, and they were all stuck wishing they could do more but they were there.

Harry and Ron had been her support, her boys from the moment they took down the troll but it had never been like this. Spending most of their years doing in fighting and falling out with each other, most of the years they had forgotten her birthday, and though she never held that against them in the slightest, it had always hurt a bit.

But James, Sirius and Remus were as thick as thieves, friends until the bitter end because they wanted to be, because their love and loyalty meant more than anything else. And her heart swelled that she was lucky enough to be included in their little group. Even if it meant dealing with the rat they hung out with.

The same rat who seemed to be missing. “Where’s Peter?”

The boys shifted uncomfortably, looking to each other like they weren’t sure who should answer. “No idea...haven’t seen him since classes.” Sirius spoke first, throwing the butt of his cigarette over the railing.

“Don’t litter.” Hermione spoke suddenly, waving her wand and vanishing the falling cigarette away.

“Pete’s been acting strange lately, we barely see him any more.” James answered next, fiddling with his cloak and glaring at the moon as though it had done something to harm him personally. Hermione let out a little hum and clicked raised her eyebrows. “Oh come on, what was that look about?”

“Leave it, mate, we both know what that was about and honestly I’m feeling the same lately.” Sirius spoke for her, gesturing to her face as she tried her best to smooth it and keep her opinions to herself, only it became harder with every passing second.

“I know but Peter is our friend.”

“A friend who knowingly speaks to Slytherins and who has all but been missing from your lives?” Hermione asked James, his face full of soft innocence and denial that almost made her want to take back everything she said just to keep him from looking like that.

“He’s just going through something.” James tried again but his voice was less than convincing, almost sounding unsure himself, like trying to deny that the sky was blue when it was right in front of you.

“Or he’s doing what we are all thinking.”

“So you don’t trust him now?” James snapped at Sirius, the boy pulling out another cigarette and refusing to look at his best friend as he leaned over Hermione. His hazel eyes were burning with hurt and his mouth was all but set in a snarl.

“I don’’t really trust anyone but the two of you and Remus...so I guess I don’t.” Sirius whispered, though he spoke carefully as James let out a scoff and straightened himself up when Sirius finally looked at him. “Wars going on outside, James, people are going to be going in all different directions.” He spoke as though it was fact and Hermione felt her heart ache for him, Merlin knew Sirius understood that more than anyone.

“And you’re assuming he’s what...one of his followers because he hung out with some Slytherins?”

“I’m not assuming anything, but I am being cautious.”

“Jamie, I don’t think that he is one of the followers, he’s a fourteen year old boy but that doesn’t mean he’s not interested.” Hermione spoke, putting herself fully between them and gripping her brothers hand. “It’s hard to think, that one of your friends might want to join a maniac, but it isn’t impossible.” He stared at her for a second, pulling his hand away and clicking his tongue on the back of his teeth.

“And what if I thought that of you, or Marlene or Lily?” James asked, before nodding his head to his best friend. “Or you Sirius?”

“I wouldn’t blame you, for me anyway, the Black’s have made their opinions known and it wouldn’t be hard for people to think the same about me.” Sirius explained, a deep frown settling on his face and his lips thinning. “But Lily is a Muggleborn, Marlene doesn’t let anyone tell her what to do and Hermione, she’s your sister, and very forthcoming about what she believes, she would never go against you.”

Hermione blinked, her eyes stinging as Sirius nodded his head to himself and James looked down at the ground. James was her family, nearly as much as Sirius was, but there was bond that came between the Potter siblings, one that was natural and protective. There wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do to save him, even if it meant putting her own life on the line.

“And I know you wouldn’t either, mate.” James spoke softly, reaching around Hermione to slap Sirius’ back before he shook his head and looked between the pair pained. “But Pete…”

“No one is saying you have to stop being friends but maybe...maybe it’s better to be cautious instead of completely trusting.” Hermione whispered, gripping the cold railing and staring out into the sky, a million ideas rolling around in her head.

…

Monday the 23 ^rd of December 1974

Hermione shivered in the cold night, looking up to the sky where the gibbous moon hung among the stars and dark clouds, twinkling it’s light on the fluttering flakes of snow and the frozen lake before her. It was almost relaxing to be here, to be completely surrounded by the sound of nothing, an area so quiet that a quick breath could be heard.

Her home, Potter manor, stood just behind the trees and on the cliff, not a twenty minute walk away and filled to the brim with teenagers home for the holidays and a set of parents that had no idea their only daughter was sat alone with no protection, out in the open for any one passing to see.

Hermione let out another sigh as Crookshanks moved around her feet and purred, his ugly squashed yellow face staring up at her. “You know, I don’t understand how you are even here sometimes.” Hermione whispered as he jumped into her lap and she smiled softly, scratching him between his ears. “Are you a part time-traveller too?”

His big yellow eyes looked at her for a second, as he let out a low meow and curled up on her lap, not answering her and leaving her with more questions. One day she would figure it all out, but it was quite far down on her list after everything else she needed to do.

Another shiver made it’s way through her body as the snow fell faster and thicker, melting on her jumper and matching with the pale skin on her hands. She didn’t want to move though, finding comfort in the area and being away from her busy home for just a couple of hours, she needed time to herself and time with her thoughts.

Nails dug into her tights, ripping at the fabric and leaving an angry red line behind and a whimper falling from her mouth as Crookshanks hissed, diving over her should to defend whoever was making the twigs snap on the path behind her. Hermione didn’t turn though, pressing the sleeve of her jumper to her weeping cut and reaching one hand behind to stroke the cat. “It’s alright Crookshanks.”

“I swear that ugly mutt has got it out for me.” Hermione chuckled and didn’t disagree as James sat beside her. One would think at first look that they couldn’t be siblings, for the boys skin was much darker than her own and his eyes were twisted in brown and green to make a pretty hazel colour and he stood a bit taller but there were certain things about them that seemed similar.

The way they moved their faces, a slightly crooked smile, a furrow between their brows and the intonation in which they spoke. Whether biological siblings or not, they moved in a way that only siblings really could, seeming to understand each other better than most.

“Why are you out here?” James asked as the girl frowned, picking up the cat and placing it on her lap as it curled up, watching the boy through one eyes and letting out a purring sound as the girls hand came down to twist gently in his fur. “Mum will be - “

“I needed to be alone for a bit...it’s just a bit overwhelming in there.”

“Did you want me to go?” James asked softly, adjusting his glasses and giving her a concerned look though he didn’t make an effort to move and she knew he didn’t want to leave her alone out here but he would if she asked him to.

“No, you never have to go.” Hermione whispered, wrapping her hands around his arm and resting her head on his shoulder as tears threatened to fall from her eyes.

“Hermione what’s wrong?” In the moment he sounded so much like his son, the care dripping from his voice as he gently lifted up her chin and stared in her eyes, thumbs moving to wipe her cheeks of stray tears. “Why are you crying?” Her mouth opened and she tried to pull away, to deny it only to be held still. “Did someone hurt you?”

“No, I just...I saw the paper this morning.” Her voice was meek, a sharp cry from what it usually was, sounding almost like Hermione Granger when she was younger, before she had seen the face of war and faced so many loses.

“Oh shit, I was hoping you wouldn’t see that… I thought mum and dad would have hidden it.” He pulled away from her, head bowed and eyes closed as Hermione stood up.

Her whole body seemed to be shaking, full of unshared emotions. Her head hurt and her hands longed to hit something, anything, like it would make the pain go away once and for all, but instead she settled on pacing back and forth trying to focus on the soft crunching of the snow beneath her feet and the cool air swirling by her.

“How did this even happen?” Hermione asked thought she knew James would never even be able to answer that question, her voice shook as she spoke again though it held more anger this time. “What are they even thinking?”

James rushed forward, holding her arms and bending over slightly to look at her as he spoke. “I know, I know, but nothing is going to happen, they won’t let them out, they can’t - “

“Of course they can, ‘assessing cases’, like half of the people they have put in there don’t deserve to rot – like he doesn’t deserve to rot.” Hermione pointed out, shaking off her brother and staring at the dark shapes of the trees, her hand clutching her chest where her heart was beating far too fast.

“They won’t let him out, Hermione.” James tried again and she wanted to believe him, wanted to trust in the force with which he said those words but her head was screaming at her, assaulting her with images she had tried to keep at bay since she became Hermione Potter.

“We don’t know that and what if they do?” Her voice was growing louder now and her arms swung out as the wind began to pick up around them, blowing snow in every which direction like a small hurricane. “You think he is just going to leave me here and that he won’t coming looking for me!” It wasn’t a question but she watched as James winced and stumbled slightly.

“Mi’, calm down.”

“Of course he will, he will ruin my life and Voldemort will have another loyal follower back in his ranks.” His words seemed so far away, taken over by her own as she walked towards him, gripping the front of his jacket and almost pleading with him.

“Hey, please come on…” His voice died as he held her hands and pleaded right back though he didn’t seem to know why, his eyes flicking everywhere.

“I can’t see him James, he killed my mother and he’s just going to walk free.” It was becoming harder to breath, her words coming out between short pants. “How is that fair?!” There was a tiny cracking sound and a rush of wind as Hermione curled up onto the floor by James’ feet, her brother bending in an instant to hold her as she sobbed.

“He won’t be freed -” He whispered the words gently in her ear but she could hear the doubt there, feel it in her bones that he wasn’t sure himself any more. “But if he is then I won’t let him touch you, I’ll kill him myself if I have to.”

“James - “

“He’s not going to touch you again.” Her eyes locked on his and her heart began to slow, the panic fading slowly from her bones as she let him pull her to her feet, “Now, let’s get home and not think of this, we have months before it’s decided and you have a family, one who loves you whole heartedly and will protect you with everything they have, to celebrate Christmas with.” He was right, he was always right.

Not trusting her voice she nodded her head and reached for his arm, smiling softly as he pulled her into his side and held her there as they began walking, only stopping as they passed the lake, both of them frowning at the thin but prominent crack that had appeared and was stretching itself across the frozen water.

“And here I thought it was getting colder, must have heated up a bit.” James spoke out loud pressing a foot onto the ice and frowning when it didn’t move and make a sound. “Seems thick enough – huh.” Hermione frowned herself before James shrugged his shoulders and began leading them back to the path towards their house.

Neither of them spoke as they pushed through the trees and into their back garden, trying their best to be quiet as they stared up at the darkened rooms and crept forward.

“Oh fuck.” James whispered as he stumbled dangerously close to their mothers flowers. It one would be one problem to wake up their parents in the dead of night and be caught outside of the house but another thing to crush the very things their mother loved more than them and then be caught instead.

Hermione reached for his arm, pulling him away and towards the door, gently pulling on the handle and stepping into the warmth of the manor, hopping on her foot as she tried to pull off her boots with James flapped his arms around, struggling to take off his wet jacket.

“Have fun?” Hermione let out a squeal, her hands flying into the air as she fell to the floor, smacking James in the face as she did so and wincing as her legs painfully collided with the wood and James let out a loud groan. The siblings turning to glare at Sirius as he stepped out from the shadows of the archway and gave them a smirk.

“Why would you do that, you dic-” James didn’t get to finish his thought as the sound of footsteps on the hallway above them was heard, heading towards the stairs and them. “Shit, shit – oh she’s gonna kill us, where is the cloak when you need it?” Hermione would have laughed at James’ panicked expression, if she wasn’t worried about being grounded until summer.

“What are you guys doing?” Hermione felt a small chuckle leave her mouth as she grinned at her best friend, Marlene, the blond stood in the doorway with a frown and Remus behind her, the pair waiting for an explanation.

“I thought you were my parents.” James chuckled, finally pulling his coat free and hanging it with the others.

“What gave us away?” Remus asked, gesturing between himself and Marlene, though both of them stood there looking oddly disappointed in a way that only parents could. James let out a scoff, taking a few steps forward and pulling Hermione with him, leaving their friends to follow after them.

“Oh so we’re being sarcastic now, you know we don’t need to take this, come on ‘Mi.”

“Ah ah ah, hold it right there…”

“Mum!” Both siblings shouted, turning to face their mother where she stood on the stairs, looking down at all of them. Hermione let out a chuckle, clapping her hands together as she carried on speaking, James nodding his head beside her. “Merlin, what a fantastic little get together we all seem to be having? Though perhaps it can wait until the morning, we are very tired.”

“But not too tired for adventures out of the property line it seems, do I need to remind the pair of you of why that is not safe, especially at one in the morning?” Euphemia spoke sternly, gesturing between the two and ignoring the snickering of their friends behind them, though Hermione couldn’t help the glare she sent.

“We didn’t go far…”

“I don’t care if it was one toe outside, two teenagers should not be walking around, you are both aware of the dangers and neither of you are yet equipped to deal with them.” Reality came crashing down as both of them hung their head in shame and Euphemia let out a sigh. “Do you see your friends acting with the same stupidity?”

“No but trust me, they would have come too if they had known.” James fought back, rubbing the back of his neck and trying his best to let out a little grin.

“Whether that’s true or not, all of you are to be inside the property before the sun sets, and you may go to the village during the day but I will reconsider that if this sneaky behaviour carries on, am I understood?” She turned on all the teenagers then, waiting for them to nod their heads. “Good, now off to bed the lot of you, and I want to hear no more moving around until morning.”

The group waited until they heard her door shut before the siblings were turning to glare at their three friends, waiting to see which one of them cracked. “Which one of you told our mum on us?”

“None of us, woman's just too smart for her own good.” Sirius spoke, raising his hands and walking around them to the stairs. “Guess I’m glad I didn’t come after you, can’t imagine being scolded like that, though maybe I wouldn’t mind if – ow Hermione!” His hand reached up to hold his arm as Hermione pulled back her fist.

“Don’t finish that sentence ever.”

“I second that, dirty fucking pervert, it’s bad enough I’ve had to hear all the shit you get up to, I don’t need you to bring it here.” James added, flicking his best friend in the forehead and leading the group up a slow walk of the stairs as Sirius let out a chuckle.

“Please don’t tell me all those rumours are true?” Marlene asked, gagging with each step and grinning when Sirius shot her a glare.

“Of course they are Mar, you would think by now he would have learnt to cast a silencing charm.” Remus answered for the boys, a small smile on his face and horror in his eyes as he shivered from his spot and turned to grin at a sheepish looking Sirius. “Or at the very least lock the door. At least Edith learnt how to, thank Merlin.” Hermione felt herself freeze, a frown on her face as the boys let out a shared laugh.

“Yeah and she knows how to sneak out too, and not cry over her cereal when Sirius rejects her.” James added and Remus nodded his head in agreement while Sirius rolled his eyes and mumbled something under his breath.

“Edith? That girl from the Astronomy tower?” The three turned to look at Hermione while Marlene frowned beside her, her eyebrows raised as Hermione carried on speaking before her brain could catch up. “I thought you said you just kissed once.”

“Well I...you know as much as I love discussing my romantic life on the stairs, it is pretty late and I would like to rest my head and remove this whole conversation from my mind.” Sirius stumbled over his words, his cheeks turning red and his eyes turning to glare at Remus who smiled apologetically while James rolled his own eyes.

“Yeah you’re not the only one.” Her brother spoke, pushing Sirius up the stairs as Remus followed, the pair waving over their shoulders and leaving the girls there to try and listen to the harsh whispers that followed them.

…

“Good morning!” Marlene blinked up at Hermione, while the girl watched her friend run a hand through her hair and she sat herself on the bed, straightening out her red skirt for the occasion and running her fingers through her curls.

“Uh, why are you in my room?” Marlene asked, turning over in bed and frowning at the watch she had on her beside table, sitting up more to check outside her window that the time was true before she turned to glare at Hermione. “Scratch that, why are you even awake at this hour?”

“It’s Christmas Eve!”

“It’s seven o’clock.”

“Yes well I couldn’t sleep, so wake up lots to do today and so little time to do it.” Hermione patted her legs and looked around the room that Marlene had all but claimed since the moment she came to stay here the last Christmas and summer.

It wasn’t as large as the family rooms, a bed pressed against the cream wall with a bedside table beside it and a set of draws with a mirror across from the bed and a simple desk opposite the bed and next to the door. But it was comfortable and Marlene seemed content in the room, even if it lacked a personal touch that Hermione thought it needed.

“You’re being weird...why are you being weird?” Marlene asked as she watched Hermione move to her desk and begin sorting through the clothes in there, some of them Marlene’s and some of them older and worn that Euphemia had clearly not wanted to throw away.

“Do you think we should invite over Edith for the ball? I know it’s a late invitation but surely Sirius would want his girlfriend here.” Hermione asked suddenly, spinning around and resting her hands on the dresser as Marlene looked at her with a frown.

“What?” Marlene asked, letting out a laugh and sitting up in bed, her hair sticking up in every single angle and a side of her face red and marked from where she had slept. “I doubt girlfriend is the right word for it, a fling or one night stand might be more accurate.” She mumbled the last part before waggling her eyebrows at Hermione.

“You don’t think they are seeing each other?” She really needed to master the casual tone because she sounded anything but at this minute and her stomach was twisting as she threw a t-shirt at her best friend.

“I don’t think Sirius knows what his name actually implies when it comes to...well anything.” Marlene joked, pulling the shirt over her head and narrowing her eyes at Hermione. “Why are you so focused on this anyway?” Hermione blinked and gave a shaky smile as Marlene pulled herself from the covers.

“I thought it might be nice...for us to be friends with her, or at least be a bit more friendly.” Hermione spoke softly, a tender smile on her face as Marlene raised one eyebrow and seemed to be trying not to laugh.

“Right...and your sudden interest in her has nothing to do with the fact that her and Sirius might be more familiar with each other on an intimate basis.” Hermione blushed as Marlene did some rather inappropriate gestures with her hands before following it up with a wide smirk and a wink that had Hermione turning a deeper shade of red.

“Well...no of course not.”

“I think she’s one of many, does that mean with have to be friends with all past and future partners of Sirius?” Marlene asked with a grimace, shaking her head in disagreement before a sly smile took it’s place and she turned to look at Hermione devilishly. “What about your brother or Remus?”

Hermione raised her eyebrows and smiled slightly, before she frowned. “How many do you think there has been?”

“Ew, Hermione, I don’t know, I don’t discuss these things with him.” Marlene cried loudly, gagging dramatically before turning to look at herself in the mirror as Hermione sat down on the bed and narrowed her eyes.

“No, but you listen more to gossip and we should know these things about our friends.”

“You’ve lost your mind, this is not the sort of things we need to know about one another and nor do I want to.” Marlene mumbled under her breath, running a brush through her hair as she frowned at Hermione through the mirror. “Unless...are you asking for another reason?” She spun around, her smile widening and her icy blue eyes lighting up.

“What other reason would they be?”

“Oh...oh no, really, Sirius?”

“I have no idea what you are talking about.”

“Aren’t you two related?”

“Barely but that’s...what are you even getting at?” Hermione snapped as Marlene chuckled to herself, bouncing from foot to foot. Whatever was happening right now, Hermione did not like it and she didn’t like where this conversation had taken a turn from where she was simply asking out of friendly convenience.

Marlene danced around the room, throwing clothes onto the bed and grinning at Hermione over her shoulder, until she finally spoke much louder than she probably should have done. “James is going to die when he finds out...I can’t believe you like Sirius!”

“I do not and please shut up!” Hermione shouted back, jumping off the bed and throwing a dirty shirt at her friend, her cheeks feeling as though she had just lit them on fire and her belly twisting uncomfortably. Her eyes drifted towards the door, her breath held as though she was waiting for the boy to burst in with a shit eating grin. “I did not like Sirius.” She added as Marlene grinned again.

“Everything makes sense now, look at you blushing – oh Hermione, are you thinking of what it would be like to plant a kiss on one of those pouty lips?” Hermione felt her eyes widen as Marlene stalked towards her, pouting her lips and making noise before she tugged on one of Hermione’s rogue curls. “Do you want to run your hands through his silky hair?”

As if to make a point Marlene ran her hands through her own shoulder length hair, winking at Hermione when she opened her mouth and a squeak came out. “What -”

“Come on ‘Mi, I’m playing, I think it’s cute – I mean Sirius is a good looking - “

“I’m aware of how attractive he is!” Hermione snapped, her voice raising as Marlene let out a loud laugh and Hermione began to back peddle, literally walking backwards until her knees hit the bed and she was sinking down onto the mattress.“I mean -”

“Just admit it, you have a little crush.” Marlene sung to her, hold her brush between her hands and up to her chest, spinning around like some kind of Princess old Hermione would have watched and loathed as a Muggle child.

“No I – I don’t know what I feel – it’s nothing serious, shut up, and it will go away.” Hermione hissed out, trying to lower her voice as Marlene looked at her amused. She let out another shriek of frustration as Marlene advanced once again, taunting her with each step and grin she took, launching herself on the bed beside Hermione and winking.

“Of course or you could just -”

“Hey!” The girls jumped as the door crashed open and three boys stumbled inside, all looking half asleep and bleary eyed as they tried to figure out whatever had been happening. “What’s going on in here?” Sirius added and Hermione tried her best to ignore the look Marlene was sending her and stop the blush on her cheeks.

She had seen what the boys looked like in the morning plenty of times, had slept in the same room enough to see the stumbling steps and messy hair. What she hadn’t expected was for Sirius to be barging into rooms with no shirt on and very low pyjama bottoms, plus the bedhead and crackling voice, looking between the two girls and waiting for an answer.

“Well...”

“Nothing, just girl talk.” Marlene answered for them, wrapping an arm around Hermione’s shoulders and giving them a confident smile as Hermione tried to snap herself out of whatever girlish crush she had. “Nice pj’’s there Jamie boy.” Hermione looked up and smirked, taking in the too small and Quidditch inspired pyjamas her brother was wearing.

She wanted to comment, but her mouth wouldn’t open and her brother seemed more focused on Marlene, a scoff leaving his mouth as his own cheeks turned pink and his lips turned up in a small smile. “Piss off McKinnon.”

...

Saturday the 4 ^th of January 1975

Hermione pulled her coat further around her body as she walked down the hallway between compartments looking for her friends. They’d all but ran off the moment they stepped onto the platform and left her to deal with saying bye to their parents and making sure all the trunks were placed onto the train.

“Idiots.” She muttered as she stumbled over her feet trying to push past a group taking up most of the space, a small cry leaving her mouth as she was pulled into a compartment and all but left laying on someones lap.

Blowing her hair out of her face she looked up to see Sirius grinning down at her, her hand reached out to punch his arm and her other arm reached to righten Crookshanks where he was laid sideways in his carrier on the floor hissing at the boy.

“What is wrong with you?” She asked, sitting herself across from him and refusing to look at his face as her cheeks heated up and he stretched himself out on his seat. “Where is everyone else?”

“James had to speak to that pleb Thomas about Quidditch, Marlene and Remus went to see Lily and Peter...well I don’t care where he is, so I guess it’s just you and me.” He gestured between them with a shrug of his shoulders as though it was nothing, reaching over to let Crookshanks out and smiling when the cat gave one last hiss and settled on his lap.

"Um that Thomas is a nightmare, I swear if he asks me out one..." Hermione spat out, cringing as she thought of the tall boy who could be called traditionally handsome but lacked the social skills that called for being a decent human being.

Sirius clicked his tongue in his mouth, his eyes narrowing slightly as he leaned back in his seat and spoke a bit more harshly than usual. "McLaggen asked you out?"

“Yeah, between him and Amos seem to have some kind of bet of who I will say yes to first.” Hermione almost chuckled to herself, glad that she wouldn’t have to deal with them for much longer and also kind of amused that no matter what time she was in, as long as her name was still Hermione then some McLaggen would be following her around.

A sigh left her move as she rested her head against the back of the chair, watching as Sirius frowned even deeper. “Are you alright?”

“What...oh yeah I’m fine.” He coughed out, shaking his head and offering a tense smile instead of his usual smirk. Hermione frowned and shifted in her seat, trying to shake off the uncomfortable tension that seemed to have settled between them.

“So how are things going between you and Edith?” Hermione asked, her own eyes going wide as Sirius looked at her in confusion, tilting his head to the side much like a dog that any other time Hermione might have commented on but right now she was screaming at herself in her head about why she would even ask something like that.

It hadn’t matter over the holidays how much Marlene had tried to assure her that nothing was happening, or how many times Hermione claimed not to have any sort of feelings for Sirius, it just seemed she could not stop her mouth moving.

It was the Edith of it all, Merlin knew Hermione had heard the rumours, had listened to the girls crying or swooning over the handsome Sirius Black who just seemed to get more charming and good looking with every passing day. But this Edith, it was like she was a thorn in Hermione’s side that she couldn’t figure out.

Having spoken to her once there seemed to be some strange fascination. She noticed the girl now in class, watched how she worked and who she spoke to. Watched her speak to her friends briefly with small smiles that never gave anything away. Wasn’t she cursing some Wizard not a couple of months ago and now she and Sirius…

Merlin she was hyperfocusing on her friends love life when she should be thinking about other things, or perhaps that’s why she was doing it.

“Hermione did you hear what I said?” Sirius asked, silver eyes searching her own as Hermione blinked at him and tried her best to think about whatever he had been telling her when he let out a sigh and carried on speaking. “I said there’s nothing going on between us, not unless you count being friends.” She nodded her head and frowned again.

“Oh, you can be friends with someone after doing that?”

“Doing what?”

“Sleeping with them.” Sirius let a harsh cough out, eye going comically wide, as he turned to stare at her in shock but Hermione was feeling rather annoyed and continued speaking. “And aren’t you too young to be doing something like that?” She asked, pointing her finger at him before she shook her head and tried to remember. “The age of consent is...well it isn’t fifteen!”

“Hermione, I don’t know how many people actually follow that...and no offence but I’m not sure I feel comfortable talking to you about this.” Sirius hissed out, wincing as Hermione leaned forward and gave him a pointed stare.

“Why not?” Her voice turned to hurt and her head lowered as she whispered the next question just loud enough for him to hear. “Are we not friends?”

“Yes but this is just something...I’m not sure you would approve.”

“I can’t say that, I barely know Edith, I’m sure she is lovely and…”

“I meant approve because it didn’t mean anything.” Sirius spoke as Hermione shook her head and glared at him as he held up his hands and clenched his teeth together. “You seem like the type of girl it would mean something to.” Well he wasn’t wrong there, it wasn’t something she was just going to do with anyone, and she was grateful that those past memories stayed hidden in her mind and didn’t pop up to remind her.

“How could it not mean something?” Hermione had to ask, in her previous life she had heard tales and whispers, in this life too though they were only getting started, and though older Sirius might not have spoke to her about it, it didn’t mean she wasn’t aware.

“Because we don’t like each other like that, it was purely to – you know – curb the needs.” Sirius explained carefully and Hermione wondered how someone could be so cavalier about sex, that it was nothing more than getting to act done and moving on without another care.

“And she agreed with this?” Sirius nodded his head and Hermione let out a chuckle. “Of course she did.” Look at you. She added silently as she took in the sharp features emerging from the lessening baby fat, the black waves that fell past his chin, the grey but practically silver eyes and long eyelashes. The reckless yet aristocratic look that he possessed, the carelessness in how he presented himself.

“If I’d have known you had some issues with her - “

“I barely even know her and you are free to do as you please.” Though her voice gave her away, snappish and annoyed, full of hurt which she wasn’t entirely sure why she was feeling but still none of it stopped her from carrying on and glaring at him like he had personally offended her. “Which I’m sure you will.”

Sirius eyebrows raised at her slightly snappish tone, his thumb rubbing on his bottom lip as he seemed to watched her as she pulled out a book and began reading. What else was she supposed to say?

Don’t see anyone else because I might have a – No, she couldn’t say anything. These were just stupid teenage emotions that would change in time or leave when she had the complete chance to focus on what she was supposed to be doing. Or maybe they would leave when everyone found out who a part of her really was, how she had been lying all this time.

“I don’t understand why you care so much about this, why it’s a problem.” Sirius finally spoke and Hermione snapped her book shut, shocked to see his own annoyance in those silver eyes, though they look more grey in this moment.

“It’s not!” Hermione protested, sending a look to the people who passed and looked into their compartment. “I mean, if you are fine with using girls like that then what does it matter what I think?” She winced herself, not fully able to stop herself from trying to poke the dragon, like she wanted him to fight back with her.

“Using...I didn’t use her, if anything she used me!” Sirius snapped, slamming his hand down on the bench beside him and then pointing a finger in her face as he rolled his eyes at her. “Not that that’s any of your business.” He almost sounded like the older Sirius, fighting with her about Kreacher and everything in between.

“Well then she’s in the wrong, she shouldn’t be using you like that, how could you let her do that?”

“Because the experience as a whole was pretty great and satisfying, I was a bit too caught up in that to be thinking of the nuances of it all.” He calmed down slightly, smirking a bit more and relaxing into his seat while Hermione let out a scoff of disbelief.

“You’re a pig.”

“Hardly, I’m not going out and shagging every girl that comes my way.”

“Unless the rumours are to be believed.” Hermione snapped again, leaning forward and frowning at him as he copied her stance before he turned and rested his back against the window and stretched out his leg, giving her a quick glance and shaking his head.

“You know what, ‘Mi, I’m done having this conversation with you.” Her mouth opened to protest but he was quicker on the draw. “If I wanted to be judged then I’d ask for it.” She wasn’t doing that was she?

“I’m not judging!”

“Yes you are, you’re being snobbish and uptight as usual, and not to mention invasive towards my privacy.” What a joke. The man pretty much displayed everything he could and was fine with everyone else talking about him, but Merlin forbid she get involved. “You spend your days worrying about one thing to the next instead of just letting loose and having fun.” She wanted to deny that but she couldn’t, he was right about that much.

Horcruxes and two lives had pretty much taken most of her forethought since she was seven, but there was more than that. She had tried to have fun, being with her friends and done her best to forget everything she could, but here she was fifteen and the only one of her friends who had never even been out on a date.

These past two weeks she had spent her days thinking between him, rotting away in a cell and his possible release, and possibly the most normal teenager thing since she came here; her friend and possible crush doing things that normal teenagers did.

“And doing that is your idea of fun?” She wasn’t sure she was ready for that yet, not willing to give a part of herself, her second chance at a first time, to someone so whole heartedly, but perhaps she could agree that she needed to be doing more things that teenagers did. Getting drunk and making mistakes, enjoying her life the way she hadn’t before.

“Trust me, a good snog with someone can make any bad day good.”

“You guys...you won’t believe…” Remus panted as he ran into the compartment, looking out of breath and a bit worse for wear after his run in with the last full moon. He seemed unaware of whatever was happening between them as he leaned over to catch his breath, one hand on the seat and his face close to Hermione’s.

“Remus?” Hermione asked with a grin as Sirius narrowed his eyes between the pair of them as the boy let out another huff of air, light green eyes turning to look at her in curiosity. “I’m going to do something and I need you not to freak out and also I apologise in advance.”

“What…?” He asked, eyes flickering between her own before he began to turn his head to Sirius only to be stopped halfway. Hermione pulled the front of his shirt and held his head, pressing her lips gently against his own and smiling as she pulled away with a soft smack.

“Thank you.” She said, patting his cheek as the werewolf blanked, standing up straight and looking around in confusion, but Hermione was more focused on Sirius who seemed very amused by the whole situation. “Was that a more exciting Hermione for you?”

“Woman, if you wanted to excite me then you should have just kissed me, I’m right here.” Hermione cheeks burned as he gestured to himself, before he sent her a sultry wink and leaned forward to tap her leg. “At least I’d have given you more than a peck.” She didn’t doubt that for a second which is why she hadn’t done it.

“I am so confused.” Remus spoke softly as he sunk to sit at the end of Sirius’ feet, looking between the pair a bit lost but not hurt. Hermione smiled to herself, she hadn’t wanted to hurt him, in truth she wasn’t sure what had come over her but it had been a nice kiss.

“Don’t worry mate.” Sirius patted his leg as Remus turned to look at him. “Hermione’s just learning how to be spontaneous and have more fun, I think you just happened to be there.” Remus nodded his head like it made sense and leaned back onto his seat as she watched the pair of them.

They chatted about everything and anything but the kiss wasn’t brought up. A kiss between friends it seemed and nothing more which Hermione was thankful for, his lips might have been soft but she wasn’t about to get into a relationship with one of her closest friends when she might possibly have some kind of feelings for one of his best friends. Nor would she do that to Remus...or Tonks.

It wasn’t long until they reached Hogsmead station and three were climbing off the train and towards the Thestrals pulling carts. Talking between themselves as they slowed down to let other people pass, eyes scanning everywhere for their other two friends who seemed to be missing.

“Hello…” The three turned around to see James and Marlene behind them, their eyes on Remus and their cheeks tinged pink. Hermione frowned, reaching to touch her own cheeks which had yet to feel the cold from outside yet, perhaps the two had already been waiting.

“Hey, where were you guys?” She asked, as she moved to climb into the carriage, sitting herself between Sirius and Remus as James and Marlene followed, putting enough distance between them that another person could sit down if they wanted.

“Remus didn’t tell you?” James asked cautiously, he seemed to take a sigh of relief as Hermione and Sirius turned to look at their friend who was staring at the ground with wide eyes and sucking in a deep breath. Whatever he was supposed to say had his cheeks turning red and his hands clenching tightly around the straps of his backpack.

“Tell us what?” Sirius asked, looking back to his other two friends who were no looking at each other with raised eyebrows. “Were you supposed to tell us something?” He added, looking back to Remus who took a deep breath.

“Er...well I was going to say that...erm...ow, that James and Marlene were caught up talking about Quidditch but then that thing happened and I kind of forgot.” His hand reached down to rub his leg as Hermione turned to stare at Marlene, though the girl just gave her a smile and shrugged her shoulders.

“That good, ey?”

“What...no...shut up.” Remus snapped at Sirius as Hermione rolled her eyes and elbowed the boys side, giving him a pointed look and a small nod in James’ direction. He nodded his head in understanding and shut his mouth.

“What happened?” James asked, narrowing his eyes and looking at the three of them like he thought one of them would give up some sort of secret but they remained stony faced.

“Just something between friends that will not be repeating, nothing to worry about.” Remus assured his friend and Hermione nodded in agreement while Sirius smirked and shrugged his shoulder. Hermione knew he was dying to say something, to add more fuel to the fire that would have James gasping and clutching at wands but thankfully he knew enough to stay silent.

“Oh shit sorry.” Hermione hissed out as the carriage halted to a stop and she half fell on Sirius, her hair all but going into his grinning mouth. She couldn’t help the smile that appeared on her face as he coughed and did his best to push the curls away from him.

“You have a lot of hair.” He commented, tugging on a curl before he leaned closer, his warm breath tickling her neck. He smelled fantastic, something uniquely Sirius with a hint of tobacco and leather. “Smells nice though, what is that, vanilla, makes sense...ow, fucking hell Hermione!” He hissed as she turned her face, suddenly very close to his own and pinched his side with a sweet smile.

“Whatever you did, I’m sure you deserved, now can stop looking like you’re a second from sucking each others face so we can go to dinner.” James’ voice rang out and Sirius waggled his eyebrows with a teasing smile that had her own lips turning up and her hand pushing his face away.

“He wishes.”

“I do, every night.”

...

“No, you don’t, Hermione please tell me she’s lying.” Lily asked the next morning at breakfast as they spent the hour filling her in about the Christmas holidays and everything that hadn’t been discussed in letters, of course that meant Marlene had taken it upon herself to fill Lily in on Hermione’s ‘crush’, which might as well have been a bold faced lie.

“And Marlene’s incessant meddling will never cease to be the end of me. I told you I don’t know what it is.” Hermione spun to face the blond who was grinning slyly again, winking at Lily like it was some sort of joke as Lily’s own eyes turned wide.

“Sounds like a crush to me.”

“Well you would know.” Hermione hissed, stabbing her knife into the butter and turning to glare harshly at Marlene, who didn’t seem phased at the anger. “What number of boyfriend are we on now? Thirty two? One hundred?” Marlene raised an eyebrow and Lily’s mouth fell open as Hermione pulled the knife out and began buttering her toast.

“First of all, I am not dating anyone right now, and second, Hermione I know I’m making jokes but there is not a problem if you do like him, I actually think you look quite cute together.” Her best friends voice was softer and her hand rested on Hermione’s arm as Lily tensed her lips. “But of course Miss Evans may have a different opinion.”

Lily rolled her eyes and ignored Marlene to focus on Hermione.”You know how I feel about Sirius, but…”

“Oh there’s a but?”

“Yeah Sirius’, it’s a very nice one too.”

“But...who you want to be with is not for me to decide and I think I learnt my lesson in that I won’t fall out with you if you went out with him.” Lily continued as though neither of them had spoke, sending a disgusted look to Marlene as she smirked between them.

“That’s the point, I’m not even sure I want to go out with him or that I even like him -” She ignored the amused looks and carried on. “but...well he made a good point yesterday.” Hermione whined, letting her face drop into her hands, her shoes tapping on the stone floor below her.

“Sirius making a good point, I really find that hard to believe.” Lily said with a snort.

“All of you have been out on dates and done normal things while I have stayed like some sort of prude in my room just waiting.” Hermione defended him, pointing between the two before pointing to herself as if it made the point. Everyone already knew Hermione avoided dates, she didn’t need to announce it.

“And you forget all my dates have ended with your brother ruining it, I only managed to get a quick kiss last time because James was preoccupied with something else.” Hermione frowned as Marlene seemed to smirk to herself, taking a sip of her coffee and looking away, but she didn’t want to read too much into that.

“You had dates...Merlin, I don’t know what’s wrong with me – he’s got to my head and now I’m tempted to take McLaggen on his next offer.”

Marlene gagged into her drink, shaking her head and making retching sounds as Hermione turned to her shocked, her eyebrows raised. ”Merlin no, trust me when I say it’s like snogging a slobbering dog.”

“Maybe he has a point though, I can’t believe I said that, nothing wrong with seeing what’s out there, you’re fifteen and you don’t have to decide but who knows maybe it will help you see how you feel.” Lily spoke softer and shrugged her shoulders as Hermione played with her food and furrowed her brow even more.

“And if all else fails you might get to do some snogging, which is always a plus...you know if they are good, I can recommend some people -”

“No thanks Mar, anyone whose had your tongue in their mouth is not someone I want to put their tongue in mine.” Hermione snapped and shivered, that limited them to half the school if Marlene’s reputation was to be believed and Hermione had spent enough time around her to know it wasn’t far off.

“Who’s putting their tongue where?” The girls jumped as James slipped himself beside Hermione, sending a grin to Lily along with a wink that came off as an awkward blink but her brother didn’t seem bothered, in fact he seemed quite impressed with himself.

“Why do always join at the most inopportune time?” Lily snarked, her cheeks turning a hint pink before she smirked and leant forward onto the table and blinked her bright green eyes at James. “In fact, why must you join us at all?”

“I was just coming for breakfast, now I’m wondering who my sister is…actually I’m alright.” James added warily when Hermione narrowed her eyes at him and he shook his head, his eyes lowered and as he stared at his plate.

“You’re not going to fight me on this?”

“As long as it isn’t him or Diggory or McLaggen then I think I can manage.” James mumbled, pointing to finger to Sirius as he sat down beside Lily, the girl giving herself a wide berth from the boy who didn’t seem to even notice or care.

“I don’t.” He whined like a dog begging for food, amusing Hermione greatly as he tilted his head to the side and pouted out a bottom lip. Give him some chocolate brown eyes and she would think he was some Labrador deserving of a scratch between his ears. “Why am I out of the running?” He added, pouting even more as Hermione rolled her eyes.

“Dirty tramp, you think I’m letting your filth anywhere near my sister?” James asked, pointing his piece of toast at the boy and letting out a sneer.

“But it’s fine around you?”

“WHAT?”

“Oh shit -” Sirius laughed as he realised what he had said while James turned white and began choking on his food while the girls looked between them shocked and sniggering. “I didn’t mean it like that – not that you’re not pretty James, but no thanks.” Sirius added, slapping his hand against the table and letting out a howl.

“Do you have any idea how fast this is going to spread?” Marlene asked with a laugh of her own, gesturing to the wide eyed people around them. “Half of the school already think you are in some kind of relationship.”

“They do?” The boys asked together before James was turning his attention to Marlene, and shaking his head, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Why, why, why?”

“It’s a toss up between Sirius and James or Sirius and Remus, sometimes they think both.” Lily answered, shrugging her shoulder though she seemed amused when James turned even whiter like he was going to throw up and Sirius nodded his head impressed.

“What lucky boys, to be able to share me...imagine all the heartbroken faces when I let them know my choice.” Sirius joked, chortling into his hand as James sent him a glare. Hermione chuckled herself as Sirius sent a wink at James.

“Shut up.”

...

Monday the 10^th of February 1975

“All you have to do is ask for some, Hermione, it will help.” Lily spoke softly as she walked beside Hermione, trying her best to turn them around and pull them back towards the Hospital Wing Hermione was dead set on avoiding for as long as she could.

“I don’t need it, Lily.”

She was faced with a look her mother, Euphemia, had often given her when she refused to admit something was wrong, wanting to take care of it herself. And it almost amused Hermione, the blowing auburn hair, startling green eyes and hands on gentle hips – like a softer and kinder Mrs Weasley, though that thought only added to the pain in her head.

“You think I don’t notice, that I haven’t noticed, but I do Hermione.” Hermione stared back at her, unsure of where Lily was even going with this, but she leaned forward and whispered it instead, away from curious eyes. “Your nightmares, they don’t seem easy, why not find something to help you.” Lily flinched as Hermione tensed and levelled her with a look.

“Dreamless sleep potion says what it does in the name, it doesn’t offer anything more.” Hermione snapped slightly, expecting Lily to shrink back but the girl just raised her chin and gave Hermione a stern look.

“Perhaps but it might offer you slight reprieve from whatever is going on in your head.” Lily gestured, tapping Hermione on her temple and raising her eyebrows as Hermione batted her hand away.

“You don’t want to know what’s going on in my head, Lil’.” She mumbled the words but it seemed to stop her friend in her tracks and fill the redheads face with concern and have her mouth opening with a million questions that Hermione couldn’t answer.

How do you tell someone you dream of another life? One twenty years from now with a war still going on and her son being the centre of it. That you simply came back to write the wrongs and give everyone a better life. That your dreams are filled with the deaths of those you loved and those you lost, and perhaps a part of yourself that you no longer remember.

The more time that went on, the more it seemed so far away, foggy and harder to grab onto. The more years she spent away from it, the more it became something so distant, something that was harder to explain. That Hermione Granger was just a fading part of her, a girl who loved reading and learning, who followed the rules unless someone needed saving – and Hermione Potter was who she was.

Her dreams were the last clutches of her other life. She couldn’t loose them too.

“...helps with sleep and you need it.” Hermione turned to look at Lily, feeling a hand rubbing up and down her arm, barely stopping when Hermione jumped.

“Nightmares, Potter?” The girls looked up to see Snape strutting towards them, his eyes brighter and more focused on Lily, but the sneer was just for her. “I suspect I would have them too if I had to live with your tosser of a brother.” His words were cold but a grin lit up his face as Hermione glared.

It said much about the situation that even Lily seemed annoyed at his tone, pursing her lips and offering him a warning glance. “Not now, Sev.”

“Is that all it takes with you two, a few half arsed apologies and some lunches together and suddenly you’re best of friends again?” There was an accusation in his tone, one that told Hermione he was like a toddler who had had a toy taken away and he was one second away from throwing a full tantrum over it. Over Lily.

“Sev, please -”

“You know you’ll never mean that much to her, not compared to her brother, boyfriend and whatever that freak Lupin is hiding.” Snape spat out, Lily tensed beside Hermione who was all but growling under her breath. “Let’s not forget Pettigrew, the spineless weasel.” That one didn’t bother her as much, in fact she kind of agreed with him. “You’ll always be second best to her, Lil’, not like with me.”

“I advise you to stop talking, Snape.”

“Please, Severus, we can meet up later – but let’s just leave this alone for the second.” Lily tried, her voice coming out forced instead of the clear path of calmness she tried to walk, stepping forward as though to turn her friend away only for Snape to step around her. “Hermione hasn’t done -”

“Of course she hasn’t because you refuse to see past her faults, Lily.” Snape snapped as his best friend as Hermione rolled her eyes and Lily looked like she wanted to be anywhere else than dealing with the both of them. “Like her brother, arrogant, spiteful - “

“You know Snape, you spend a lot of time focusing on James, Sirius and myself for someone who claims to hate us.” Hermione spoke over his, crossing her arms over her chest as Snape’s lip curled even further, like some twisted Elvis impression. “It’s left me thinking that you have some kind of attraction for Pureblooded Gryffindors with black hair and charming smiles.”

She added her own smile as his sneer dropped and twisted into a grimace, his eyebrows lowering into a frown and his hands clasped into tight fists by his side. He took a step forward, almost looming over her as Lily tried to pull back on his arm and hissed between them. “Both of you stop.”

“Is he the only one allowed to insult people?” Hermione hissed back at her friend, taking her eyes off of Snape for a few seconds to instead frown at Lily who’s cheeks had flushed and her eyes were wide with some kind of panic.

“Of course not but -”

“That’s what you wish you were don’t you; pureblood, it would make joining them easier.” Hermione whispered even lower, leaning forward as Snape glowered even more, his mouth opening. “Don’t worry though, he’ll let you join, the summer after you turn sixteen I imagine, give you one last year before you have to give everything up.” Her eyes flicked to Lily, Snape following and then turning back to look at her as Lily let go and hung her head.

“You don’t have any idea -”

“I know what side my friends and I will be on, and I know you’ll regret doing what you’re going to do for the rest of your life.” Hermione hissed, looking around and smiling slightly as she leaned back and raised her eyebrows before throwing her hands in the air. “Or maybe you’ll be fine with what he asks you to do, what do I know, we’ll just see what happens when it’s someone at the end of your wand he’s ordering you to kill.”

She didn’t have to look at Lily to let him know, didn’t have to see the girl trying to push away everything she knew was true, the feeling in her gut she probably had at watched her best friend slip further onto the wrong side. But she did have to watch as Snape gulped and winced, and then there was a coldness in his eyes as he took another step closer.

“I would never hurt her.” She watched to argue with him, show him the truth but she knew she couldn’t. His face ringed with pain and anger as he continued speaking lowly. “Though perhaps I wouldn’t have to think twice if it was your brother or your little friends at the end of m-”

Lily let out a gasp and Snape stumbled, eyes wide as Hermione pulled back her fist, shaking it of the remaining pain of punching the boy in the face. It felt much better than the distant memory of doing it to Malfoy, and like it was long overdue.

She bit down the smirk of imagining the older Snape stood before her, gripping his cheek and staring at her with anger, and instead settled on her anger. “Despite your arrogance and lack of common sense, I am doing this so Lily doesn’t loose her friend in the future, fucking dick.” She spat out at the end as he carried on staring at her.

“Miss Potter!” The squeaky voice of Flitwick called and Hermione gritted her teeth, turning back to stare at the teacher as he moved towards her.

“Yes Professor?”

“Yes Professor? Never in my life did I think I would see you hit another student...twenty points from Gryffindor and detention Friday evening!” He scolded her.

Once it would have brought a bubble of shame, watching a teacher express such disappointment in her, instead a calm numbness settled over her as she nodded her head and turned back to look at Snape. He still hadn’t spoke, and there was no joy in his eyes at her punishment like with James and Sirius but instead a deep confusion.

Flitwick had given up on speaking to her and instead turned to the shocked students, shooing them away and letting them all know what would happen if he caught them fighting, Hermione used it as her opportunity to move closer and mutter to Snape. “One day you’ll realise that everything you thought you wanted wasn’t worth it and you end up alone, I hope for your sake you figure the truth out before you loose everything and everyone.”

…

“Hermione!” Lily shouted as she chased after her friend into the Gryffindor Common Room, people turned and stared before going back to whispering amongst each other as Hermione did her best to avoid her friend only to be pulled back. “Oh no you don’t, what in God’s name was that?”

“Nothing more than what was deserved.” Hermione mumbled back, feeling her cheeks heat up as a few second years entered through the portrait hole and stared at Hermione with wide eyes and shit eating grins.

“Nothing more than – you punched Severus in the face!”

“You did what?” James shouted, the girls turning to see him jumping up from the sofa, hazel eyes filled with amusement as Sirius followed, bowing down beside Hermione’s feet as Remus stood behind them with raised eyebrows.

“My hero..ess?”

“It’s heroine.” Remus supplied as Sirius lifted himself from the floor rapidly, holding his arms close to his chest and scanning the area with wide eyes before he stood on the light green eyes of his werewolf friend.

“What? Where?”

“I meant the feminine of hero is heroine.”

“That makes no sense at all – I thought that was the stuff Muggles stabbed into their arms and then got all funny on.” Sirius mimed that by jabbing the tip of his wand into his arm and then frowning when it left a small burn mark behind before shrugging his shoulders and then scrunching his face up at Remus.

“Same pronunciation, but there is an ‘e’ on the end of the feminine form of hero.” Remus explained as Sirius frowned and mouthed the words stopping halfway to write them in the air in front of him with his wand, another hand on his chin as Remus watched on.

“What are you two doing?” The boys turned to look back at James where he stood with a frown and gesturing between them.

“Talking.”

“My sister punched Snape in the face and you two think this is the time to have this conversation?” James spat out, pointing to Hermione as Sirius’ frown deepened and Remus blushed at Lily’s amused look and Hermione’s confused frown, stepping away from Sirius and letting out a cough.

“It’s a very interesting conversation, I am learning.” Sirius grinned cheekily as he pointed to himself and then gestured to the fading words before him as Lily scoffed.

“Doubtful, Black.”

“Agree to disagree, Evans.” He waved her off with his hand and swaggered towards Hermione, throwing his arm over her shoulder and looking down at her. “So ‘Mione, why are you punching Snivellus in the face? Do we need to plan our own form of attack?” Hermione winced at the nickname, a whisper of Ron in her ear.

“What is wrong with you?” Lily asked, throwing her hands in the air as Sirius shrugged his shoulders, his silver eyes dancing between the two girls.

“No, listen...he said something stupid, I reacted and it has been dealt with and now I have detention.” Hermione mumbled, not shaking off Sirius as she reached up to try and rub the pain away from her aching head, a longing for laying down in her bed stronger than staying here and trying to talk the boys out of some plan.

“Oh she’s growing up so fast.”

“Get off of me!” Hermione mumbled into Sirius’ shoulder as he squished her against him, stronger than his scrawny fifteen year old arm suggested as he managed to keep her there while pretending to wipe away tears while James snickered to himself and even Lily looked like she was holding back a laugh at the pair of them.

“Remus grab your camera, James get over here, we need to talk a picture of our rebellious Hermione.” Sirius called, letting her go slightly as he reached for James, giving her enough chance to shove him away and send him a glare.

“Idiot.” She mumbled as he just grinned at her, but she focused more on the friend she had just gotten back. “Lily, I’m sorry, I know that probably wasn’t what you were after-”

“Understatement.” Lily bit out, letting out a deep sigh and offering an understanding smile as she patted the girls arm and shrugged her left shoulder. “Hermione, I heard what he said and I get it, let’s just leave it at that.” It was an offering that Hermione was glad for.

“You’re not mad.”

“Not any more, though I will be talking to Sev about some of his words.”

“Oh you sound like a scolding teacher...I kind of see it now, Jamesie – ow pleb!” Sirius went from flirting to injured puppy in two seconds as Remus smacked the back of his head and James punched his arm, turning his eyes onto Lily and offering a small. “Sorry Evans.”

“Whatever...and just because all of this happened, it doesn’t mean I forgot what we were talking about.” Lily grinned sweetly and Hermione felt her tongue raise up to the back of her mouth as she let out an annoyed laugh. Lily was fine because she was going to get some semblance of even.

“What were you talking about?”

“Nothing.” Hermione answered James as he came to stand beside her.

“Your sister is having trouble sleeping, Potter, and all but refusing to take some potion for her nightmares – perhaps you could prove yourself useful and talk to her.” Lily spoke to James, and for once he didn’t seem to focused on Lily but the words coming out of her mouth.

A small laugh left the redheads mouth as she waved while Hermione let out a sigh, ignoring her brothers questions about the nightmares and if they were about him, and why didn’t she tell him and did he need to get her something or inform their parents. She let him have it, sitting herself down on the sofa and letting him run his course until he shut up and left her alone.

…

Saturday the 15^th of February, Hogsmeade

“...then I rammed into him, and managed yet another victory for Gryffindor, it will probably go down in history for being the best save in all of Quidditch.” Of all the date Hermione had been on, old life mainly – her present life was devoid of such things, she had never been so bored. Not even writing lines during her detention the night before.

Even the couple of dates she went on with Ron, before the world turned to shit, and they had been stuck in some awkward phase between friends and more. Even the date with the guy before hers son hadn’t been as bad – for his father, Thomas McLaggen had taken the cake.

Just as good looking as his son, though far more arrogant and sure of himself, a keeper for the Gryffindor team and quite popular. He’d had his fair share of dates and girlfriends in his nearly complete seven years at Hogwarts but for some reason, one she blamed herself for, he wanted her. Whatever she put out attracted McLaggen’s like flies, she was just glad his younger brother Tiberius seemed more focused on Nogtails than her.

“Hermione?” A groan nearly left her mouth as she stared at the boy now stood at the foot of her table, looking shocked to see her there. She was herself.

“Amos, how are you?” Not as handsome as his son and nearing his the end of his sixth year, stood looking like she had just told him she hated him, his eyes watering and his frame curling slightly.

“Ah...I am well...I thought you weren’t accepting dates.” A groan did leave her mouth this time as Thomas smirked at the boy and Hermione wished she was somewhere else. With Lily and Marlene as they scanned the area or even shopping at Zonko’s with her brother.

“Well not with Hufflepuff’s at least, not that you can blame her there, ey Diggory?” Thomas reached out, smacking a hand into Amos as the boy widened his eyes and turned to look at Hermione with hurt once again. Merlin, both of them needed to fuck off.

“Nothing wrong with a Hufflepuff, McLaggen.” Hermione was stuck between relief and annoyance as a grinning Sirius reached an arm around Amos, his butterbeer threatening to spill as Lily and Remus stood behind him, her friend watching her with some amusement and Remus looking like he wanted to be anywhere else. “Got a few beauties in that house, perhaps you should go find some of them.”

Amos seemed to cheer up slightly, a nod of his head and a wave before walking away, ignoring the slightly annoyed tone in Sirius’ voice. Hermione let out a sigh as the boy slipped in beside her, Remus doing so on the other side of Thomas and Lily raising her eyebrows.

“And where do I sit?”

“On my lap if you like, though I doubt James would like that – so grab a chair.” Sirius said, grinning as Lily narrowed her eyes though her lips seemed to turn up in slight amusement.

“Black, to what do we owe the pleasure?”

“If I had known my foot touching yours was going to send you off then I would have charged...though perhaps we should leave that for next time.” Sirius winked as he took a sip from his drink, the foam not doing anything but add to his charming looks as he relaxed in his seat and threw an arm around Hermione at the back of the booth.

“He means why are you here.” Hermione whispered to him, raising her eyebrows as he turned to face her and grinned.

“I know, it’s just fun to watch his face turn red.” Hermione could understand that, turning her own face to watch as her date clenched his hands and his darkened in annoyance. It was kind of entertaining to fun to watch, more fun than whatever Thomas had been going on about previously.

“This is a date, Black, though perhaps not as intimate as yours are.” McLaggen smirked out and Hermione rolled her eyes as Sirius just looked back blankly, the attempt at getting under his skin falling as flat as Hermione’s drink.

“Don’t be jealous, I’m sure some girl somewhere is dying for you to drag her into a broom closet.”

“Not anyone at this table though.”

“Ohh nice, Lily.” Sirius grinned out as he held his hand up for Lily to slap, her doing so timidly but looking quite proud of herself all the same. “Truth is Thomas, boring name by the way when compared to your brothers, is that our dear Hermione looked bored so we came to save her.” Sirius added, a bit of the joking leaving as he tugged on one of her curls.

“Hermione was enjoying herself.” McLaggen clicked out, eyes glaring at Sirius’ hand and how Hermione did nothing to stop the boy but instead smiled slightly.

“Are you blind?”

“Your jealousy is sweet but face the facts Black, she chose me.”

“I wasn’t aware there was a competition.” Sirius scoffed out, looking more annoyed now than he did before, removing his hands and resting them on the table to lean forward and glare at McLaggen who was smirking proudly.

“Nor is Hermione some kind of toy to be pulled around.” Remus added with his own glare but he was ignored. Hermione sent him a grateful smile and reached over to pat his hand, watching as the werewolf’s cheeks heated up.

“Perhaps we should leave Hermione, your friends don’t seem to understand peaceful and romantic atmosphere a date requires.” McLaggen spoke, shifting in his seat and taking Hermione’s hand in his own as he flashed her smarmy smile. “I wouldn’t want them to ruin this for you.” She cringed as she pulled her hand away and shook her head.

“Done that yourself, I’d say.” Remus whispered, an amused look on his face.

“And romantic, you brought her to the Three Broomsticks, hardly call that romantic when half the guys in here are staring at Rosie’s chest.” Sirius gestured around them and Hermione turned her head to look at where most of the Hogwarts boys were sat around the bar and doing their best to flirt with the pretty bar maid.

A shiver ran up her spine as she remembered Ron and his crush on Madam Rosmerta, she could almost picture him falling over his feet if he saw her now twenty years younger but still in her glittery heels. It almost hurt that she wanted nothing more than to joke with her friend about, no jealously involved like it had been before, only to find herself come up empty.

Her boys now were different, they didn’t moon over girls with the exception of James with Lily, instead they were sat in some sort of glaring contest with the guy who was supposed to be her date for the afternoon.

“Let’s head to Madam Puddifoots, we can relax there for a while and I know a spot where we can have some alone time...to end our date.” Hermione blinked as McLaggen reaching over and tried to grip her hand again as though he wanted to pull her out of her seat and away from her friends, like he thought it would stop them from following.

“Your dormitory?”

Thomas’ cheeks turned red as he glared at Lily, but the redhead just raised her eyebrows back, looking completely at piece at the end of the table as Remus chuckled under his breath and Sirius was all but hanging out of the booth.

“I would never presume -” McLaggen cut himself short as Hermione moved her hand away from his and frowned at him, his face turning red again as he stood up and pushed his hand towards her again. “Hermione.”

“I wouldn’t talk to her that way if I were you.” Sirius pointed out, silver eyes burning like melted metal and jaw tense, his arm slipping back over her shoulders as though to hold her in place and away from McLaggen’s eager rush to escape them all.

“I’ll talk to her how I want, this is my date and my time – I planned this out carefully and I will get what I’m owed.” His voice raised and Hermione felt her stomach drop, her mouth opening to tell him where to stick it when someone else spoke for her.

“Excuse me?” Now James Potter wasn’t scary, or he usually wasn’t, but there was a line that was never to be crossed with him and it often involved his family and friends. He stood tall behind Lily, hazel eyes like a burning fire behind his glasses and his teeth clenched together as he looked down at McLaggen, the boy seeming lost for words for the first time.

“Oh great…”

“My sister owes you nothing – you owe him nothing!” He hissed, turning to point a finger at Hermione as she tried to fight down the smile on her face, her heart filling with a protected feeling.

“I know, he wasn’t going to get anything.” It seemed to calm James down slightly, a breath leaving his nostrils loudly and his head nodding, but it was McLaggen that seemed angry now, turning to face her.

“So you just lead people on? Just tease them enough and say no when it suits you – no better yet, I bet it’s some sort of game between you two -” He pointed between Sirius and Hermione who raised their eyebrows. “ - as only a slut would open her legs for someone like him.” He grabbed his jacket from the back of the booth and ignored the glares.

“How dare -”

“And he’d treat her far better than you ever would, well done for ruining your first and only date with Hermione, now fuck off.” James shouted after the boy as he stormed out of the pub, frowning quickly at the students watching. “Don’t take that as some sort of approval, you stay away from her.” Her brother added as he slumped into McLaggen’s empty seat and pointed a finger at Sirius.

“Well...you alright Hermione?” Lily asked after a few seconds, concern in every inch of her face so much like her son when he worried.

“I am perfectly fine, I wanted the idiot to leave the moment he opened his mouth – shame it lasted longer than that.” Hermione joked as she grabbed Sirius’ drink and took a sip “Are you worried he’ll retaliate and kick you off the team?” She asked James after swallowing, his eyes narrowed as Sirius took back his drink and followed it with his own sip.

“Nah, idiot can’t win without me, though I’m not sure I would want to play with someone who would call and accuse you of that.” James mumbled, he didn’t seem conflicted and Hermione felt guilt twist in her stomach, she couldn’t do that to him.

“He’ll be gone by the end of the year, might as well use your chance to aim some bludgers at him.”

“That’s Sirius’ job, but I won’t say I’m not going to try.”

“I’m in.”

“I can charm it to not hit anyone but him.” Everyone turned to look at Lily, their eyes wide as she sipped her butterbeer, actually seeming content to sit with the two boys she thought were idiotic toerags and discussed some kind of vengeance and pranks with them without telling them to grow up or leave her alone. She stared back and frowned. “No one treats my friends like that and gets away with it.”

They turned to look at each other, unsure what to make of the redhead before it was shrugged off as though it was normal and they were back to speaking and arguing amongst themselves. Hermione couldn’t help but smile, who needed dates when she had these idiots around her?

Chapter Text

There's always calm before the storm

Monday the 3^rd of March 1975

Her head hurt, aching as a yawn left her mouth and shook through her whole body.

The daily nightmares and minimum of sleep was, for lack of a better word, tiring. Hermione spent her nights awake after her terror, the images burned into the sockets of her eyes and twisting to incorporate her present friends and family until the idea of sleep became something she spent her time cringing over and avoiding as much as she could.

She was lucky her memory of her previous lessons seemed ingrained into every bone of her body or she would be worried that her education was going down the drain.

"I bet she's jealous." Hermione jumped as she turned to see Marlene walking beside her, she had barely even registered the past hour she had spent in Transfiguration, barely recalling what had just happened or what Marlene was talking. “McGonagall that is.” She added when Hermione looked at her blankly.

Hermione frowned as she thought back to the slightly snappish tone her teacher had used with her during the end of the lesson, something to do with paying attention when she was in class. "Why would she be jealous?" She was genuinely curious but Marlene seemed to find it amusing, looping her arm through Hermione’s and pulling along.

“She clearly has a little crush on our very own Sirius Black, unless I’m mistaken and she just lets anyone flirt with her – I bet she’s jealous because Sirius is far more interested in you.” Marlene whispered loudly, winking when Hermione rolled her eyes and pursed her lips.

Hermione really doubted that McGonagall was harbouring some crush on Sirius at all, while yes he was attractive and was probably the only student who would even attempt to pull something like that off, but she doubted she would be brought into the equation if that was the case.

No, if anything, Professor McGonagall was slightly sour towards Hermione because she seemed both capable of not working and getting her work done and her answers right all at the same time. Of course this wasn’t Hermione’s fault but she couldn’t tell the teacher that.

Though she was aware that she could leave the arrogance and entitled answering somewhere else but it was just too easy and if she was being honest, slightly fun, to tease her professors. It was kind of fun to also not have to have her nose buried deep in a book and constantly trying to keep ahead of every class.

“- think about it, she always lets him and James get away with everything." Hermione tuned back into her friend, her eyes narrowed as Marlene glared at the boys ahead, talking together and seemingly unaware that they were the subject of the girls, if not slightly one sided, conversation.

“Ah yes, my sweet baby brother, talented and arrogant -”

“Don’t forget handsome.” Marlene mumbled under her breath as Hermione turned to look at her friend with raised eyebrows and an amused smirk on her face. “What? I can appreciate a fine piece of work.”

“And appreciate is all you do?” The pair turned to see Remus stood behind them, Peter walking by without another glance, a cheeky grin on his face and slightly fresh scars pulling at the corner of his face, but it was his eyes were what Hermione was focused on, lighter and happier than they had been when he was older. He offered her a softer smile before a sending a very Sirius-esque wink that she didn’t understand.

“Erm, what?”

“Ignore him, he clearly has no idea what he is talking about, like usual.” Marlene bit out as Hermione turned to frown at her best friend and Remus looked rather amused at the whole situation. Hermione tried to remember a time Marlene had been so cold to the boy but she was even struggling to remember if they had ever spent any time together without their shared friends.

“It looks like someone is having a bad day, I’m sorry Remus.” Hermione spoke softly but Remus just sent her another smile and walked on her other side, Marlene seething beside her and shooting glares to the taller boy. “So...do either of you have any plans for the next Hogsmeade trip, it has to go better than the last one?” Hermione winced as Remus’ face darkened and Marlene stumbled beside her.

“Are you asking me out?” Hermione felt her mouth fall open as Remus leaned closer to her and winked again, her face turning red as she leaned away from and pushed his shoulder.

“Of course not, you’ve been spending far too much time with Sirius.”

“Relax ‘Mi, I’m only joking.” He grinned down at her and threw an arm over her shoulder, leaving Hermione to feel like she was on some sort of wild broom ride. Was he always this up and down after the full moon or had the recent events and possible future events just sent him off in every which direction? “I’ll probably watch James make a fool of himself around Lily and Sirius hit on every girl that’s lonely.” He sighed and she rolled her eyes.

“You know you could try and get someone too.” Hermione suggested as she looked up at him, her eyes flickering to where his two best friends stood whispering about something, not noticing the people having to walk around them.

“Who do you think picks up the friends Sirius neglects?”

“That’s gross, see at least James doesn’t do that.” Marlene spoke suddenly, the pair turning to look at her, where she glared at someone with her icy eyes, a girl with auburn hair and emerald eyes behind them, more interest in her book than her gossiping friends, or maybe she hadn’t even noticed them. Old Hermione could relate to that part.

“James isn’t that innocent you know.” He looked as though he was speaking to Marlene but his eyes flicked to Hermione who scrunched up her nose and shook her head, she didn’t need to know what her brother got up to.

“I’m aware, but I’m referring to the part where he spends his days chasing around a girl who isn’t interested, I’m sure there are many other girls that would appreciate his time.” Hermione blinked and looked back at Lily, frowning at Marlene’s annoyance that seemed to have come out of nowhere and was now causing Remus to growl under his breath.

“Alright, what is happening here?” Hermione stopped, pulling herself to stand before the pair of them, narrowing her eyes and taking in Marlene’s annoyed expression and Remus’ slight smirk. “Do you two like each or something?”

“Fuck off, he wishes.”

“I'm pretty sure she prefers darker haired men." Remus whispered, raising an eyebrow at Marlene as though he was tempting her with something.

Marlene let out a shriek of anger that had people turning to look at them, their own eyes watching in surprise as Marlene threw Lily’s book at Remus and the werewolf laughed as he caught it. The redhead turned her eyes to Hermione, watching with rapid entertainment as Remus let out another laugh and took off down the halls.

"I swear to Merlin, I’m going to kill him." And then Marlene was off, pushing her between Sirius and James where they had been watching their friend run down the halls, their eyes turning to look back at Hermione and Lily.

"Am I missing something?" Hermione asked as her brother and his best friend moved to stand before her, their eyes going wide as they seemed to have some sort of silent conversation. James inclining his head towards Lily as she looked at every inch of her book to make sure it wasn’t damaged and Sirius smirking as though he thought the whole thing was hilarious.

“Well...bye.” James spoke first, turning and running away with Sirius chuckling beside him and leaving Hermione confused in the hallway.

"Oh looks like nobody can stand being around you Potter, I don't blame them, I'd leave too if I was your friend." Hermione gritted her teeth at the soft alluring voice of Emmeline Vance, she forced a smile on her face and turned to face the girl and her side kick Jenny.

"Hello Emmeline, how nice of you to try and fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence just for me.” Hermione smiled sweetly as she spoke, enjoying the way the girl seemed to turn red in the face and flicked her hair over shoulder and her eyes narrowed as she turned to glare at Lily where she stood chuckling under breath.

“Oh how nice, I forgot the two of you were friends again.” Emmeline bit out, a strained smile on her face as she raised an eyebrow. “Though I’d be careful if I were you, Evans, Potter’s real family has a habit of hating your kind – personally I wouldn’t want to get mixed up with the likes of her.” Lily blanched and her mouth opened but no words came.

“Go fuck yourself, Emmeline.”

...

Saturday the 29 ^th of March 1975

Hermione should have known. Really it wasn’t like they hadn’t gone through this before, she had simply just hope that with Remus out sick during his actual birthday that James would take it as it was and leave it alone, instead he did what he would always do and threw a big party for himself and invited everyone he could think of to join them.

It also didn’t help that Gryffindor had just come off of it’s next big win against Hufflepuff and were now neck and neck with Ravenclaw for the cup. In all honesty, it had all just blown past Hermione’s head and now she was left wondering why Remus wasn’t her brother, and why they couldn’t just spend a nice night together opening present and joking about.

And yet here she was, helping decorate like she had done a million times before. Marlene had joined her, all dolled like they weren’t just in the Common Room. Hermione frowned as she looked down at her own outfit, the tight green turtleneck, high waisted corduroy skirt and just under knee high boots had looked very pretty when she put them on.

Marlene flicked her now chin length hair behind her ear, Hermione copied touching her own curly ponytail and frowned. “You know, this isn’t some fashion show, it’s just James’ birthday.”

“Never miss an opportunity to show off what you’ve got.” Hermione scrunched up her face as Marlene bit her lip and scanned the area, as though looking for something or someone before she turned back to Hermione. “Did we have to get James a gift?”

“You’ve known him, for what, nearly five years, and yet you ask this question every single time his birthday comes around.” Hermione pointed out as Marlene offered her an amused grin and shrugged her shoulders, leaving Hermione to shake her head. “He’ll be disappointed.”

“Actually I think he’ll be more than happy with what I’ve got him.”

Hermione didn’t bother reading into that, shaking her head as the boys came in from their journey, the three carrying a mixture of drinks and chatting among themselves, the rare sight of Peter following behind them, as a few lingering Gryffindors stood up and looked around, smiles on their faces and excitement in their eyes.

“I believe everything is in order, so let us begin the party!”

An hour later the party was in full swing, everyone from forth year up was invited, except the Slytherins and the common room was packed. Hermione watched with narrowed eyes, waiting for Edith to join them but the girl never did. Perhaps she wasn’t as welcome as she thought she was, or maybe she just didn’t like parties, if that was the case then Hermione didn’t blame her.

Her smile eased though as Lily joined, shoving a present into James’ arms and walking away to stand beside Hermione before he could say anything that would ruin the moment.

It was sweet how he watched her go with wide eyes and a lopsided grin, holding the present like it was his most prized possession and then he was turning to Marlene, the two talking with easy grins and almost whispering to one another. It was almost too close for comfort.

“What did you get him?” Hermione asked as she gripped her cup tighter, the liquid inside was not something she was interested in but this way people stopped trying to bring her drinks, Lily didn’t seem to have the same problem as she sipped her own and sent Hermione a smirk.

“Just some book on Quidditch.”

“How very thoughtful of you.” Hermione smiled back as Lily shrugged her shoulders and looked down at the ground, her cheeks turning a soft pink that had Hermione smirking to herself. “Did you want this?” She asked after a second, offering her drink to her friend who just raised her eyebrows.

“You don’t want it?” Lily asked, though she seemed confused, turning back to her own drink and jumping loudly as their was a loud yell from nearby. James was dancing to some song he loved on the table, arms going everywhere and happily being the centre of attention but it was Sirius Hermione’s eyes drifted to, talking lowly to some Hufflepuff girl, her cheeks redder than the whole common room and her eyes practically filled with hearts.

“On second thought.” Hermione mumbled out loud, bringing the cup to her lips and downing the thing in one before letting out a cough. She wasn’t much of a drinker, preferring to sip what she had and enjoy the feeling but her mind was begging her for some sort of release from having to see what was in front of her.

Stupid teenage hormones.

“There you go.” Lily said softly, patting her back.

Sirius moved closer to the girl, his hand resting on her waist as she giggled. Hermione sneered in disgust, clutching her cup in her hand and throwing at his head before she could stop herself, though rather amused when it ricocheted to hit Peter too, her eyes widened as her head dropped as Sirius looked around in shock.

“Oh wow, that I did not expect.” Lily chuckled as Sirius turned around in his spot, looking at everyone, like some sort of dog trying to find out who has the bone but at least the Hufflepuff was out of his focus for now. “Another drink?”

“Yeah.”

Another drink turned into five more and a blissful feeling that Hermione hadn’t had in a long time, sure she’d been drunk before but never on this level. She could see why people did it, the numbing of the mind and the happy feeling that took over, the need to just dance and be free around her friends and people she didn’t know.

Lily was just as energetic as her, the pair of them grinning as they held hands and danced in their own little corner, sipping on their drinks and laughing at nothing in particular. It made her feel normal again, to just be with her friend.

Everyone seemed to be having a good time, though there were some girls crying in the corner and her brother and Marlene were missing but that wasn’t important. Sirius had clearly given up on speaking to anyone and was now singing and playing air guitar to Led Zeppelin on the table alone and Remus…

“Lily, look!” Hermione whisper yelled, stumbling and grabbing onto her friends shoulder as she pointed out the werewolf where he currently had his tongue down someone’s throat and neither seemed to be complaining or coming up for air.

“Woah...do you...do you he’s a good kisser?” Lily slurred slightly, her eyes glazed as she stuck her tongue between her teeth and frowned slightly while Hermione nodded seriously. It was a very serious question and needed to be seriously considered.

“His lips are very soft...I...I...I enjoyed them but I don’t know the rest.” Hermione admitted as Lily let out a sigh and nodded her head before turning back to Hermione and grabbing her hands, leading her into some sort of circle dance that made the room spin ten times faster than it should and made Hermione’s stomach twist uncomfortably.

“Hello ladies.” They stopped and Hermione stumbled to the side, smiling when Sirius reached out to stop her though he didn’t seem that stable himself. “Fancy another/”

Hermione nodded and reached for his cup which was half finished, ignoring his cry that he was just going to get her one. Surely drinking more would make the whole world stop spinning, or perhaps it was just this tower, maybe it was an unknown feature, it didn’t matter, the alcohol would make everything feel better.

The drink itself was sweet and tangy, Hermione licked her lips as she grinned at Sirius, his face blurring at the edges. “I think...”

…

Hermione let out a groan as she came round.

Her head felt like she had a stampede of Hippogriffs living inside it, her whole mouth felt as dry as the sahara desert and attempting to open her eyes resulting in being blinded by the sun and feeling as though they were being stabbed by toothpicks.

No, she wanted to go back to sleep and swear off drinking ever again. It seemed though that someone else had plans, coughing just loud enough for her to hear and to open her eyes and take a look around. Her shoes were off as was one of her socks and she was apparently laid on the floor of the Gryffindor common room.

Remus was curled around a pillow on the single chair, snoring happily and there were a few stragglers littered around the room and Peter slumped on the stairs but it was Lily, who sat bright eyed, awake and blinking down at Hermione with a cup of tea in her hands that let her know who wanted her awake.

“Comfy?” She whispered and Hermione frowned in confusion, blinking as she noticed the arm resting on her hip and the body laid beside her. They weren’t spooning but it was clear some form of cuddling had happened.

Hermione’s eyes widened and her head disagreed with her sudden movement as she turned to see Sirius laid on part of his side, eyes closed and soft snores leaving his mouth. He didn’t seem to like her movement as he let out a groan and shifted slightly, trying to pull her back. Hermione felt her mouth fall open as she slipped away from him and half crawled to Lily.

“What…” Her voice rasped out and she let out a cough, reaching for Lily’s cup and downing it in one go before she tried again. “What happened?”

“One, that was mine and two; you honestly don’t remember?” Hermione shook her head as Lily let out a sigh and patted her friends shoulder. “I knew I shouldn’t have let you drink Sirius’ drink, I bet it’s pretty blank after that.” She chuckled to herself as Hermione frowned and tried to pull the memories back into her mind.

Hermione stumbled as she danced alone, waving her hands in the air and trying to recall the name of the song that was playing. She wanted her brother to dance with her but he seemed to have magically disappeared, her lips pouted out as she looked around.

There were barely any people around, most having gone to bed and a few others falling asleep where they fell. Remus was passed out and Lily was trying her best to make sure he was comfortable, so neither of them were able to dance with her.

“Can someone come dance with me?” Hermione whined, her eyes landing on McLaggen as he stared at her with an angry frown, turning away with a grimace and sticking out her tongue. “That requ- re – that was for friends.”

She moved away stumbling again and glaring down at the table as it dared to interfere with her feet. When did it even get there? Her hands reached out to touch the wood, reaching for the half full cup that stood on it with a grin. Why would someone leave their cup there?

“Ah ah ah, no more drinking for you.” Lily commanded and Hermione let her shoulders slump as she dropped the drink, watching it s pill everywhere and ignoring Lily’s sigh, to dance again, though it was kind of sad now, side stepping alone while her friends were busy doing other things. This was supposed to be a party and yet it was over so soon and no one was drinking any more. “Sirius, could you please...Sirius!”

Hermione spun on one foot, letting out a cry of happiness when she mastered the move, her eyes finding Sirius as he danced towards her, eyes closed, one hand on his stomach another held up while his hips moved side to side. It was quite an impressive.

His eyes opened before her and he gripped her hand and gave her a grin, spinning her around and pulling him back into her arms as they went through what must be a very drunk looking tango but Hermione couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of her throat as he spun her around again.

She could hear Lily sighing and tapping her foot on the floor but she didn’t care, all she wanted was someone to dance with her and no one would. At least now she could dance with Sirius. “Thank you, Sirius.” Her words sounded slurred but she honestly meant them.

He smiled softly at her, a rare on instead a smirk, silver eyes twinkling brightly. She couldn’t help it when she leaned forward before he could speak or comment, pressing her lips hastily to his own and pulling back with her own grin, still dancing though it was slower now, side to side and an inch apart.

“ Anytime.”

“Oh Merlin, please tell me that’s all that happened.” Hermione whispered out as Lily shrugged her shoulders.

“Pretty much, then you said you were tired and you needed a pillow, you both fell asleep pretty quickly after that.” Lily explained, patting her hand and gesturing to where Sirius laid, reaching out where she had laid, Hermione placed a pillow in his hand and couldn’t stop the smile that flickered onto her face as he hugged it tight to his chest.

“Any chance he won’t remember it, I mean it was barely a peck.”

“Come on, let’s get you some comfy clothes and shoes on and have breakfast, we can deal with the rest later.” Lily offered, not without sympathy and gesturing towards their own dorm where no doubt their housemates slept. Hermione nodded her head and let her friend pull her up before frowning around at the room.

“Why is my other sock on Remus’ arm?”

“He wanted to do a puppet show, it was quite entertaining.”

…

Somehow they had managed to avoid the boys all day. Hermione slipping into some old jumper from James and a pair of trackies she wasn’t sure who they came from. Lily had let everything be and had slipped into some equally comfy clothes, the pair shifting from the Great Hall, the dormitory, the Great Hall, outside for some much needed fresh air and then back to the common room with some food stolen from dinner.

Most students, the younger ones seemed to be enjoying the slight snow they had outside, while the older ones seemed to be sticking to having day long naps.

“So then I was thinking - “

“Hi.” Hermione jumped as Sirius slumped into the seat between her and Lily, the two girls curled up at the edges of the sofa with hot teas in their hands. The charming boy placing a pillow onto Hermione’s knees and laying down, Remus copying into the single sofa with a groan.

“Hello, what’s wrong with you?” Hermione asked, reaching down to running her fingers through the messy black waves and smiling at the narrowed silver eyes.

“Headache.”

“Nausea.”

“Seeing things I never want to see again.”

“Seconded.”

“Okay...well have you guys seen Marlene or James?” Hermione asked them both with a frown, her head scanning around to look for her brother...Merlin, she’d even ask Peter at this point but the boy had gone back to missing and she wasn’t too fussed on looking for him.

“Yeah because we went looking for them and couldn’t find them anywhere.”

“You went looking for James?” Sirius asked Lily with a frown, pushing down Hermione’s knees so he could put the pillow on her lap instead and hug her legs. It was rather intimate and Lily seemed to be finding so as she looked between them but she kept her mouth shut as Hermione’s quick look.

“No she did, I tagged along and looked for Marlene.”

“Only place we haven’t checked is your dormitory.” Hermione said with a shrug of her shoulders as Remus’ eyes turned wide and he nearly threw himself from the chair while Sirius shifted and let out a humming noise.

“Yes!” The boy sat up quickly, seeming to realise what they had just said and turned a wide eyed look to Hermione who was watching him in shock. “He’s sleeping!” Remus added after, looking much more awake but no less green.

“Did you have to shout that, you could have just told us?” Lily asked with her own frown, taking a sip of her tea and pushing her legs out to push Sirius away from her. Silver eyes turned to her in amusement as he crossed his arms over his chest and stayed put.

“As for Marlene, we... I am not sure.” He added after a second.

“She’s probably with that guy she’s been seeing.” Lily commented as Hermione sat forward, looking around Sirius, pressing her hand to his chest and forcing him back so she could see her friend.

Usually she avoided gossip, Lavender and Parvati had ruined it for her before and Emmeline and Jenny weren’t any different, constantly spreading rumours and looking for the next piece of information on their classmates, but Hermione had to admit there were some things that had her acting like a normal teenage girl.

Clearly that was the secrets of her friends, which is why she whispered loudly to Lily. “What guy?”

“Some guy, she never told me his name and I don’t think it’s serious…” Lily waved off but her eyes were bright with their own interest and amusement, clearly she too wanted to know who Marlene was seeing and why it was a secret.

“It’s defo not me.”

“Idiot.” Lily hissed out to Sirius who was resting his head against the back of the sofa, Hermione removed her hand and took a sip of her own tea as Lily shrugged her shoulders. “Anyway she’s probably with him.” She followed it with a look, one that let Hermione know that Lily didn’t think Marlene was just sleeping over, but it wasn’t to be said outloud.

Hermione hummed, but her eyes were on Remus and Sirius who seemed to know something more, shifting in their seats and sending one another looks, she could be reading into it but...

...

RAVENCLAW VS GRYFFINDOR – SATURDAY THE 9TH OF MAY. DON’T MISS IT.

Hermione stared at the poster with disdain, how the captains had gotten Ms.Pince to put it up in the library she would never know, but now it was just a reminder of the promise she had made to her brother for tomorrow.

“Are you going tomorrow?” Hermione whispered to Lily, craning her head around the piles upon piles of books that the girls seemed to have collected in order to study for their exams. Lily looked up, seeming surprised that Hermione was there, too lost in whatever she had been reading about to pay attention.

“Last match of the year, might as well – though I might miss out on the party.” Lily smirked as she spoke, emerald eyes glinting as Hermione narrowed her own. Her and Sirius hadn’t discussed what happened two months ago and instead they just shifted into a slightly argumentative teasing nature, much softer than what she had had with the older Sirius but still quite reminiscent.

It wasn’t like Hermione wanted to sit down and ask what was happening between them. She had pretty much done the same to Remus and that hadn’t changed anything, just a friendly kiss between friends. Perhaps Sirius thought the same, that Hermione went around pecking all her friends, or maybe it meant nothing to him.

For her it had kind of cast him in a new light, one where the curiosity got the better of her and she tuned into the whispered conversations between girls. Even couldn’t help but watch him speak to girls, the way he doing it so smoothly, but the only one who she was actually aware of that had had something more personal with Sirius was Edith.

And said girl was sat glaring at something before her, eating some kind of sweet and not focused on her surroundings.

“If looks could kill. God, you would think there was still something going on between them with you glaring like that.” Lily whispered lowly as Ms Pince passed around them, eyes scanning everything like some crazed hawk. Hermione narrowed her eyes further and leaned forward.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’re a shit liar, trust me whatever happened is over, move on from it.” Lily hissed, seeming put off by the conversation that Hermione let her head hang with a bit of guilt, the emerald eyes softening slightly but nothing more was said.

If Hermione could get over whatever her problem was with Edith then she would. The girl seemed quite nice, very intelligent and funny from what she’d heard or seen, and she wasn’t spending her time clinging to Sirius’ arm or even bringing anything up that happened between them but there was just something about her, something made Hermione itch.

She wasn’t about to admit she wanted to be with Sirius, but it was hard to ignore whatever she was feeling and maybe she was just annoyed that Edith got there first. Or maybe it was that Edith was everything that Hermione was and wasn’t.

Blond, petite, curvy, with a humour that was both dark and witty at the same time, her love for Quidditch and being an excellent player outshone most of her team. She had an intelligence that most people seemed to forget, more than capable of topping most of their class and yet she hid it behind narrowed eyes and didn’t seem all too focused on being the best. And yet Hermione wouldn’t put it past the girl to step on peoples toes to get what she wanted, and not even show a single care.

There was something gloriously Slytherin about Edith. Something about her that just kind of made sense with Sirius.

"Hello friends of mine, I see you’re both settled for the evening." Hermione jumped, turning to see Marlene sitting herself down beside Lily, James and Remus sitting to the side and Sirius sitting beside her. He gave her a warm smile but his eyes never looked to Edith, and she never looked to him.

“Lily-flower, you know you really should greet people when they say hello." Sirius joked, wincing when Lily slapped his hands away from the books and sent him a glare. He leaned back in his chair, one arm going to rest behind her shoulders. No one paid any attention, not even her brother who was busy glaring at Edith from across the room. “Have either of you seen Peter?”

Hermione shook her head and clenched her teeth as Lily mumbled a no. So the rat was back to sneaking around and avoiding his friends it seemed.

“You missed our practice.” James hissed towards Hermione who frowned and looked at the books around her, he didn’t comment any more, continuing his glaring across the room. “If she tries what she did last year, Padfoot, I want you to hit her with your beaters bat, I don’t care what happened between you two.” He turned to face his best friend as Sirius frowned.

Hermione hid her grin, so they were further along then. Maybe not fully transformed, but they were far along enough to know what they were and develop their nicknames.

“Padfoot?” Lily asked, the boys ignored her as Remus rolled his eyes.

“Mate, I’m not even on the team yet, I’m just a reserve and also I’m not hitting any woman with a bat, that’s just cruel.” Sirius remarked as Lily threw her hands in the air and gave up on her quest for answers in return for reading. “Just don’t let her get close.”

“Oh like you can speak?” James hit back and Hermione laughed out loud, her cheeks blushing as Sirius turned an annoyed glance to her, but she just smiled sweetly as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“It is take it out on Sirius day, I didn’t vote for this.”

“I would.”

“That’s because you are heartless to my suffering, Evans.” Sirius bit back but his eyes had gone back to teasing and Lily seemed to recognise it as she placed her book back down on the table and leaned forward to rest on her elbows.

“Oh no, it must be so hard being you, talented, handsome and multiple girls hanging on your arms...I can’t even begin to imagine the pain.” Lily ticked each one off on her fingers and gave a self satisfied smirk as Sirius raised his eyebrows and flicked his hair out of his eyes while all their friends looked between the two of them.

Sirius moved forward more slowly as the smile fell from Lily’s face and she seemed to be rethinking what she had said but Sirius was there first. “You think I’m handsome, Evans?”

“What…?” Her voice was a squeak and her cheeks were turning red.

“Him! Really! This is despicable!” James slapped his hand against the table, letting out a pained gasp and shaking it off as Lily turned to look briefly at the boy. Hermione would have focused on that more but her eyes drifted to her best friend.

Marlene sat gripping the edge of the table, icy eyes even colder than usual and glaring a hole into the table, her whole body tensed like she was readying herself for some kind of fight. It made no sense, there was nothing around them to have provoked such a reaction but it didn’t stop Hermione from looking around or frowning.

Marlene caught her eye quickly, letting go of the table and rolling her shoulders back, but she didn’t offer a smile like she usually would.

“Mr Potter, keep your voice down or I will have you removed.” Ms Pince cut off James from where he was still ranting and raving about how upsetting this news was. Remus ignoring his friend and Sirius finding the whole thing amusing it seemed.

“Sorry Ms Pince, I just learnt some very disturbing news.” James sighed dramatically but he eased a kind grin onto his face, Hermione watched from the corner of her eye as James carried on speaking. “I feel betrayed.” Marlene tensed again and let out her own little breath.

“I can’t help how my face looks just like you can’t help that Lily likes it, can’t blame her though, your ugly mug haunts my dreams.” Sirius joked as James reaching for a book, threatening to throw it before grinning as Pince glared at the boy and stalked away with her nose turned up. Hermione reached over, taking the book and protecting it from her brothers violent intents.

“I didn’t mean it like that, the lots of you are handsome...oh fuck.” Lily whispered out, her head falling into her hands as a wide grin appeared on James’ face and he jumped up from his chair, the wood falling back with a loud bang.

“Yes!”

“Mr Potter!”

“Don’t worry Pincy, I’ll keep it down.” James spoke like he was singing, doing a little dance and not seeming to notice the blush on Lily’s face where she kept her face in her hands and was muttering to herself. “I’m so happy.”

Marlene all but growled under her breath, pushing herself back from the table that the whole thing moved, sending books and her own chair to the ground. She didn’t offer them any explanation, didn’t look at any of their shocked faces, but just simply jogged out of the library without another glance back, almost knocking into the librarian who was watching her with a glare.

None of them spoke for a while, looking between themselves but Hermione kept her eye on her brother, her mind turning with a thousand ideas, as his happy expression pinched and his eyes filled up with guilt, leaving Sirius to ask the question they were all thinking. “What’s her problem?”

“Alright, none of you can be quiet, all of you out now.” Pince was there then, shooing them away with waving hands and a glare that made her look like an angry bird.

“Well done, you guys.” Lily turned to snap at them all before turning back to Pince with a frown. “Fine, but I’m taking the book with me.” Lily snapped, picking up the book as Ms Pince rolled her eyes but didn’t argue. She kept the page open, allowing Remus to guide her by her elbow toward the stairs and the Great Hall while Hermione, James and Sirius followed.

They sat down like that, Hermione shifted to be in between her brother and his best friend while Lily read across from her and Remus watched over her shoulder, seeming pretty interested in the book also.

“So what happened with Marlene?” Hermione asked, Lily’s eyes looking up in curiosity as James’ tongue went to the side of his mouth and her gave her a smile that looked far too innocent for him.

“You know her, I imagine it’s Quidditch, lot’s of pressure tomorrow, Quidditch cup and everything.” He rambled, waving his hands around but his eyes were downcast and he seemed to be avoiding looking at Hermione or Lily, not that Lily cared that much she had gone back to reading her book with a frown on her face.

“Right...Sirius what are you doing?” Hermione asked in shock as a fork was held close to her mouth, enough to make her eyes go cross eyed, she moved back slightly, turning to look at him as he raised his eyebrows at her and then stared down at the food.

“Making sure you eat.”

“I have two very capable hands that make sure that happens.” Hermione gestured, wiggling her fingers in his face and then reaching to grab her knife and fork to show him with her own cheeky grin.

He put the fork down and held up his own hands as she glared at him, though there was a touch of amusement there. “Excuse me for wanting to take care of my friends.”

James let out a scoff, shoving his food to the side of his mouth and sending an awkward wink to his friend as he leaned around Hermione on one elbow to gesture to his best friend. “If you want to do that then you should be feeding me.”

“You’re just not as pretty as your sister, Prongs, just doesn’t have the same appeal.” Sirius explained with a wave of his hand, pulling on one of Hermione’s curls and grinning as James frowned at him and then ran a hand over his face and looking at Hermione quickly.

“Prongs?” Lily mouth to Hermione but she just shook her head and held back the smile on her lips.

“Well then feed him -” He gestured to Remus who blinked and looked around, having pretty much taken Lily’s book from her and was reading a passage and not paying attention to his friends. “- and stop whatever this weird foreplay is with my sister.” His eyes flickered between them as Hermione felt her mouth fall open in another bout of shock.

“Excuse - “

“Do you hear her screaming?” Sirius asked James who frowned and shook her head. “Then this isn’t foreplay, if I have to tell you that then you’ve been doing it wrong.” James’ cheeks turned red and he mouthed something that rhymed with ‘lunt’ at Sirius.

“Sirius!”

“See that sounds more like it!” He grinned down at her, moving to whisper in her ear. “Fancy giving it a try upstairs?” Hermione narrowed her eyes and let a small smirk appear on her face as Sirius watched her unsure, leaning back in his seat and letting out an uneasy laugh. “I’m just joking?”

“Oh no…”

“This is going to be fun…”

“Hermione, I was just joking...please!” Sirius screamed, causing the rest of the tables to turn around and look towards them, but he was already on his feet, looking to his friends for help only to find James grinning in open amusement and Remus cringing at him.

“Three...two…” Sirius let out a gasp as Hermione stood up, her wand already in her hand. He didn’t wait to find out what would happen when she got to one, turning tail and running out of the Great Hall loudly as Hermione grinned and sat down beside James again. “And finally peace.”

“Aren’t you going to go after him?”

“He’ll get what’s coming to him when the time is right.” Hermione answered her brother seriously, his eyebrows raising and his mouth pulling at the edges as she began digging into her food.

...

“I can’t believe you turned his hair pink.” Lily chuckled beside her as they stood in the stands, cheering every so often when something interesting happened or when the players flew past. Sirius easy to see on his broom, a deep scowl on his face and his waves a bright pink.

What a day to fill in for one of the starting beaters. It was almost like it was meant to be that Daniel came down with a rather chesty cough.

“Hopefully he’ll learn his lesson.” Hermione spoke as Remus snickered beside her and clapped as James scored yet another goal, the whole Gryffindor stands going wild as the Ravenclaws and Slytherins booed at them.

Lily leaned forward, her breath tickling Hermione’s ear. “Like you hadn’t thought his invitation was tempting.” She yelped as Hermione elbowed her side and cast a glance to Remus who looked amused at the whole situation.

He turned his head and sent her a wink, letting her know he had heard what Lily said. Hermione sent him a glare back and turned her eyes to the field. It was an intense game, a lot on the line and the title match for who would win the Quidditch cup, and in her lack of Quidditch knowledge they both seemed like good teams.

Though it was James who was the star, catching every Quaffle flung at him, dodging every bludger before Sirius could hit it, throwing to Marlene and zipping around to make another goal. It was easy to see where Harry had gotten his talent from. And easy to see who his competition was.

Edith was like a soft little lightening bolt. Small enough that she could weave around people and strong enough that she seemed more than capable of throwing the Quaffle half way across the pitch and into the goal. She did spins and dangerous turns, and she grinned prettily the whole time she did it, like she was enjoying the whole thing.

Her and James seemed to also have a few choice words for each other every time they crossed paths, Edith grinning dangerously and James fighting his own to glare at her.

“Guess it all comes down to who catches the snitch.” Hermione heard Lily say to Remus who nodded his head, it was pretty even scores and the seekers were diving every which way to try and find the little golden ball. “Do you think I could pull off pink hair?”

“I think your hair is beautiful as it is but we could try if you wanted.” Hermione placated with a soft smile as she reached out to touch the beautiful auburn hair between her fingers, seeming much brighter and redder in the sun and reminding her of another redhead she had once considered a close friend but then Lily’s eyes were on her and pushing past the sudden sadness.

“What? Right now?” Her friend asked, a frown on her face as she ran her fingers through her hair and stared at Hermione.

“No...if you wanted though you would be more than welcome to come to the Manor this summer for a couple of week, we could experiment then.” Hermione spoke softly, shrugging her shoulders as Lily let her mouth fall open and Remus let out a little laugh, leaning down to whisper at the girls and pointing to the pink haired boy flying past.

“Never let Sirius hear you say that.”

“I meant with charms...don’t you start doing it too.” Hermione snapped at him, pointing her finger and letting her frown fall when the werewolf gave her a soft smile. “So what do you say?” She turned back to Lily and rubbed her hands together nervously.

“This is your way of inviting me to your house that I haven’t seen in all our years of friendship?”

“Should I have tried another way?” Hermione joked, tilting her head to the side as Lily bit out a laugh and raised an eyebrow, seeming to contemplate for a second.

“I’m teasing, I’d love to come…will you be there Remus?” The redhead asked, turning back to Remus as his grin brightened and Lily’s cheeks turned a pretty pink. Hermione looked amused at her friend, it was hard not to somewhat flustered around Remus when he smiled so confidently like that.

The boy chuckled. “I usually am.”

“The question is, when isn’t he there?” Hermione joked as Remus shoved her shoulder but joined in the laughter between them as Ravenclaw let out a collective moan when their goal was blocked and the Gryffindors cheered loudly.

“Someone just jealous but her mum likes me more.” Remus whispered to Lily who chuckled and nodded her head in agreement as Hermione scoffed slightly.

“Well we know that’s not true, her clear favourite is Sirius.”

“True.”

“Wait Sirius?” Lily asked with wide eyes, much more innocently than her son had been at her age, though she supposed Harry had had more going on and had seen far too much by the time he turned fourteen.

“Yeah, he practically lives with us, as do Marlene and that moocher.” Hermione said with a shrug of her shoulders as she pointed them all out and added an extra frown at Remus who laid a hand against his chest and let out a gasp.

“I don’t mooch, I just accepted an invitation -”

“And never left.” Hermione cut him off and avoided another shove, turning her eyes back to the field as James scored another goal and cheered his arms in the air, the crowd going wild like he was some kind of rock star, chanting his name and no doubt feeding into his already huge ego.

“It’s a nice house.” Remus shouted to Lily over the noise, clearly explaining why he seemed to spend more time at the Potter’s than his own home and then he threw a cheeky grin for another measure. “And Poppy makes the best chocolate cake.”

“Are you sure your parents won’t mind?” Lily asked timidly, turning back to Hermione though the green eyes were clearly curious with Remus’ claims. “They sound like they’ve got a full house what with you lot…” She waved her hands around as Hermione gave her a bemused look. “And Poppy.”

“Don’t forget the occasional and by that I mean frequent visit from Andy, Ted and Dora.” Hermione added with a teasing grin as Lily sucked in a breath.

“Well it sounds pretty crowded.” Hermione could almost agree with that statement as half of third year Gryffindor seemed to live in her house plus the extras, it made for a lot of hustle and bustle in the house and perhaps for outsiders it seemed like a lot…

But Hermione...well she’d always loved it. When she had been Hermione Granger her house had been quiet with both her parents preferring silence as they read and spent time together, it had only taken going to the Weasley’s and the Gryffindor tower a couple times that she had seen how alive a house could feel when you had a million people running around and always doing something. And then it had all been taken away from her.

Hermione Potter’s start of life had been much the same, quiet and tip-toeing around her grandparents in worry of upsetting Dorea. Going to Potter Manor and living with the energetic and fun-loving James had done a lot to bring back her eagerness at having as many people around her as she could.

“It’s not, trust me, we’ll have fun.” A bit too late as Lily jumped, seeming to have taken Hermione’s silence as an answer to her question.

“I’m not…”

“It’s settled then, you’ll be staying with us for minimum of two weeks.” Hermione forced a grin on her face and clapped her hands together before focusing on the game as Lily pursed her lips and turned to look back at Remus.

“She does know I have to ask my parents, right?”

“Just go with it, she isn’t going to take no for an answer.” Remus answered for her, clapping at another Gryffindor attempt, shrugging his shoulders and looking down at Lily with another smile. “And it would be nice to have you there.” That was an understatement but Hermione would take it.

...

July 1975

"So will I be meeting this Lily today?" Hermione stood in the kitchen watching as her legal guardian, her mother, stood making all kinds of desserts, her hair up in a messy yet elegant French twist and her apron covered in flour. She turned around and raised an eyebrow at her daughter, who pursed her lips and nodded her head. “Use your words.”

“Yes, though you have seen her before.”

“Was that sass?” Euphemia asked, pointed the wooden spoon at Hermione.

“No Ma’am.”

“Good..ah ah ah, ladies don’t dip their fingers in bowls like that.” Hermione pouted as she took her finger out of the biscuit batter, wincing as her mother gave her a look that threatened to slap her hand should she try it again.

“You let Andy do it.” Hermione whined, looking around for her cousin who seemed to be at home more and more these days. Hermione missed the Tonks’ and she missed seeing how far Dora had come and how long she would have to wait before the clumsy witch with good humour was back and making Hermione laugh.

“While Andy might as good as be my daughter she is also a grown woman with a her child, I am not to govern her like I am with you, sweet daughter.” Euphemia reached over and squished Hermione’s cheeks, hazel eyes twinkling with amusement as Hermione tried to twist out of the grasp.

“So all I have to do is have a child and then I am allowed to eat as disgustingly as I want?” She asked with her own amusement, taking joy when Euphemia blanched and her mouth opened, her eyes narrowing at her daughter.

“Within reason and don’t even think about it, you are far too young.”

“I wasn’t planning on it anytime soon.”

“Good.” And that was the end of it, Hermione left chuckling to herself as she watched the woman go back to her baking. “Now tell me more about this Lily, is this the one you fell out with and who doesn’t like my Jamie?” A sigh left Hermione’s mouth as she thought about how she could explain this.

“We made up and -” Hermione started wincing when Euphemia turned to look at her. “Well, the problem is dear mother of mine, is that Jamie seems to have developed...hum...I want to call it a crush but it is bordering on obsession, and let’s just say he doesn’t quite know when to quit, I thought the seventh hex would be the charm but I think we’ve gone well past one hundred now.” She joked lightly at the end, grinning softly.

“That boy, I swear to Merlin…”

“I actually think he does really like her and the day she says yes, well I bet Remus and Sirius ten galleons that he is going to faint.” She did laugh this time, picturing the image in her head and how amusing it would be to watch James fall flat on his face when the day came.

“The day she says yes?” Hermione nodded and gave her mother a cheeky smile as the woman chuckled under her breath before her eyes turned wide and she focused back on her daughter with a much more serious expression. “Ten galleons?!”

“Well I’ll be laughing when the day comes, they don’t even think she’ll say yes.” Hermione defended herself, shrugging her shoulders. “We’ll be twenty galleons richer, mum, it’s all business.” Hermione popped a grape laying on the side into her mouth and rubbed her hands onto her shorts with a grin as Euphemia shook her head again.

“Making money off of bets...on your own family.”

...

Five in the evening came quickly and to say Hermione was excited was an understatement. The boys had all but started the summer ignoring her in favour of doing their own thing which more than likely meant practising on their Animagus, only Remus had taken the time to sit beside her in the library and offer an understanding smile when she grumbled and counted down the days.

Now she was all but bouncing down the stairs, a happy grin on her face.

"Marlene McKinnon, dinner first!" Hermione chuckled under her breath as her father came striding into the house and towards the kitchen, not paying attention to her as she jumped the last few steps and smiled as Lily entered the main hall, her mouth open wide and not seeming to notice the mumbled voices.

“Hey.” Hermione spoke softly, a knowing smile on her face as Lily jumped, quickly catching her bag before it could land on the floor.

“You live here?” Lily turned to ask Hermione. It was always funny to watch how people took in the house she had come to think of as home, grand and beautiful with more space than a family of four should ever need – it was a good thing more and more people seemed to be finding more reasons to stay here and make the space feel less grand.

“No, we just occupy it until we sleep.” Hermione spoke softly, resting a hand on Lily’s shoulder as the witch sent her a glare and opened her mouth at the use of sarcasm. “Of course we do, Lil’.” She bumped her shoulders against the girls.

“I could fit my house in her fifty times.”

“I really doubt that.”

“Sorry about that, Marlene seems to make herself rather comfortable here.” Euphemia came bustling out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron and shaking Lily’s limp hand. “It’s very nice to finally meet you – Fleamont tells me you handled side-apparation like a champ, our poor Jamie threw up the first time he tried it.” The mother chuckled to herself as Lily turned to Hermione.

“Mum!” James whined as him and the boys ran down the stairs, his hazel eyes wide and his bottom lip sticking out while Sirius, now back to being black haired, belly laughed behind him and Remus grinned. “I don’t know why you’re laughing, at least I didn’t faint.” James pointed at Sirius who stopped laughing in an instant.

“It’s not natural!”

“Neither is your face!”

“Oi! Have you looked at yours, mate?”

“Boys! We have a guest, at least let her settle in before you start with the shenanigans.” Euphemia called, offering Lily an apologetic smile like they didn’t have to deal with it at Hogwarts. “Are you hungry, dear? Hermione, why don’t you show her to her room while the boys help me set the table?” It was a soft order if the Potter siblings had ever heard one.

Still, Hermione didn’t need to be asked twice, pulling her friend by her arm up the stairs and down the hall, Lily stumbling behind her in an attempt to try and look at every portrait of the Potter family and every room that remained open. She stopped at Hermione’s bedroom and peered inside with a smile.

“It’s very you...where’s James’ bedroom, I’d like to be furthest away from that if possible.” Lily cringed, looking down the hall as though there would be some sign that said ‘Toerag’s room this way’.

“It’s next to mine, but you are beside Marlene, a good couple of rooms away from him and closest to the library.” Hermione explained as Lily let out a sigh and followed Hermione a bit further down the hall, head sweeping left and right at everything they passed.

The room mirrored Marlene’s though flipped the other way, the shared bathroom between open and shining into Marlene’s room, which Lily curiously peered inside.

“Dinner, was it?”

The two girls chatted at they went downstairs, taking more time and Hermione pointing out family members and different features of the house, explaining what rooms they were allowed in and what rooms they weren’t. Lily took it all with a grin, smiling at the moving paintings and the things that were just so Wizard, Hermione had forgotten.

They joined the dinner just as Poppy came out carrying a large pie and ushering the two girls to sit down beside Marlene and between the parents, the boys sat opposite them with James grinning at Lily.

“I hope the room is fine for you...I imagine it’s a bit smaller and if you are more comfortable then you can always room with Hermione.” Euphemia spoke, sipping her elf wine and looking at the girl who seemed rather overwhelmed with everything around her.

“Oh no, it’s fine Mrs Potter, I really appreciate you letting me stay.”

“Such a polite girl, you are more than welcome anytime you would like.” Euphemia said with a grin, reaching to pat Lily’s arm. Hermione rolled her eyes as she sent Lily a look, a polite girl more than capable of hexing or jinxing someone into next week.

“Yes it is rather nice to have a polite child around in the midst of these hooligans.” Fleamont added, pointing to the three boys and then Hermione and Marlene. The group raised their eyebrows as James leant forward and fanned his face, wiping away fake tears with his other hand.

“Dad, you’re so sweet.”

“And you, my children, seem far too incapable of going more than two months without detention.” He pointed between the Potter siblings who sent each other a look, silently questioning who was going to speak.

Hermione turned sweetly to her father, placing a hand under her chin and speaking softly. “I disagree, I haven’t had a detention since my last one a good few months ago.”

“Something I would like to speak to you about – it is hardly Ladylike to be resorting to violent actions.” Euphemia said, gesturing for her daughter to sit up straight and stop slouching like she was at this very moment. Hermione narrowed her eyes and copied her mouth, spooning a lump of food into her mouth and swallowing it nearly whole.

“Which I have learnt and will not be doing again.”

“It’s hard to believe that when you have that cheeky Potter grin on your face.” Hermione turned down the corners of her mouth and frowned, her eyes flickering to where James was grinning very much like his son, something she was familiar and hadn’t been aware she was even doing.

“Tell us about your family, Lily, our family has always found Muggles to be rather interesting, hence the reason why our name isn’t included in the Sacred Twenty-Eight.” Fleamont said with a happy chuckle, like he couldn’t think of anything better.

“Sacred Twenty-Eight?”

“A list of Pureblooded families, the majority of them being bigoted idiots.” Hermione whispered to Lily with a shrug of her shoulders before she nudged the girls shoulder and gestured for her to answer her father’s question.

“Erm...well they're muggles – my father is a plumber, erm - “ Lily stopped when she saw the confused expressions, a small smile on her face. “ - he works with kitchens and my mother is a florist, hence mine and my sisters names.” It made a lot more sense now, and had the corners of Hermione’s mouth turning back up as she considered it.

“Ah you have a sister?” Fleamont asked interestedly, leaning forward and sipping his firewhiskey.

“Yes, Petunia, though we aren’t that close, not like Hermione and Pot- James, she doesn’t really like magic that much.” Lily caught herself before she could speak, wincing when James seemed to sit up straight and his face turned from bored to wonder. Hermione shared a look with Sirius, the pair of them rolling their eyes.

“That’s a shame, though I suppose some people are not as lucky with their siblings as my children are.” Fleamont spoke thoughtfully, smiling at each of his children before looking to Lily with compassion. “My brother and I were never that close.” Lily seemed to relax slightly and Hermione clenched her hands.

“Me and Regulus barely talk.”

“Regulus and I.” Euphemia correctly lowly, not that anyone paid it much mind.

“I’m half and half with my whole family.” Marlene added, patting Lily’s hand gently and then looking back to her plate as Hermione looked at her with a frown.

She knew about the McKinnon’s, there was a reason Marlene was back here again, but it had been a couple of hours since her best friend had even opened her mouth to speak, seeming to concentrate more on her food or clenching her fists when James sent one of his longing looks to Lily. Concern was mixing with suspicion in her chest and leaving a sour taste in her mouth.

“You guys should open a club and call it ‘We have idiotic siblings’ or ‘WHIS’ for short.” James joked as Hermione let out a little chuckle while the rest of the table stared at him, not that it bothered him. “Hermione and I will be unable to join but I’m sure we can sit in from time to time.”

“Carry on with your idiotic ideas and I might have to join them instead.” Hermione added back as James just shrugged his shoulders at her and sent an arm around their werewolf.

“And what about Remus?”

“I’ll start my own club called ‘SGIF ‘ or ‘Support group for Idiotic friends’.” Remus joked dryly as the girls chuckled behind their hands when he gave his two best friends a very professor look, causing both James and Sirius to look back at him annoyed.

“Doesn’t really have the same ring to it.”

“No, but anyone knowing you and Sirius will be willing to join.”

“Why am I being dragged into this?”

“Come on, Pads, you’re the biggest idiot out of all of us.”

“Are they allowed to speak like this in front of your parents?” Lily whispered to Hermione, pointing between the boys and stifling a chuckle when they began shoving each other.

“It amuses my parents to no end.” Hermione whispered back, pointing discreetly to both her parents who were sat watching the boys with light eyes and small smiles. They had always hope for a big family and maybe it wasn’t the way they wanted it but they took joy as having some semblance of it when everyone was home.

...

“Are you sure we shouldn’t help clean up?” Hermione bit back a laugh as they walked with the group to the sitting room, reminded of how she had probably looked once upon a time when being faced with normal household chores being done by someone or something else.

“I’ve tried many times but Poppy prefers doing it herself.” Hermione whispered softly, rubbing her friends arm and offering the kindest smile she could, even if inside it still irked her a bit.

“I wouldn’t think of you guys as being the ones to own a house elf.”

“Neither would I – I kind hated it at first -” Hermione broke off, remembering S.P.E.W before she bit out a laugh, though it felt a bit twisted and not that real. “But Poppy is an exception and paid, she’s actually happy to be here I think.” Or so it seemed.

“She does seem it.” Lily added with a nod of her head.

“Hermione?” Hermione turned to see her mother and father stood behind her, their hands clasped and soft smiles in front of their face, she turned to look at Lily who just shrugged her shoulders. “Do you mind if we have a little talk – in your fathers office?”

Her brow furrowed but she nodded her head, whispering quickly to Lily and following behind her parents. Her heart seemed to be beating loudly and her stomach clenching painfully as they gestured for her to take a seat opposite Fleamont while Euphemia sat herself on the side of his desk, a gentle and nervous smile on her face.

“What’s going on?”

“We know you’ve heard some rumours – and well, we didn’t want anything to be sprung on you.” Euphemia stated nervously again, playing with her ring on her hand and then letting out a cough as she turned to Fleamont.

Her father, usually such a bright man who rarely frowned or seemed unhappy, seemed such now. He reached into his desk, pulling out a paper and passing it over the table for Hermione to take. “Perhaps you should read this, sweetheart.”

Hermione frowned, the paper crinkling in her hand as she looked down at the words on the front page.

Ministry closer to releasing Prisoners

Late last year, a potential bill for releasing some of the prisoners of Azkaban,

was thought to have been taken under consideration by the Minister himself.

In his own words, ‘It has recently come to our attention that a few of our prisoners

were placed in Azkaban without a trial – it despicable and simply inhumane to have

put possibly innocent people away without consideration.’

Though the Wizengamot has yet to come to a decision, it seems they are slowly moving

forward with bill and the person who seems to come to mind for everyone is the notable

and prominent member of the noble houses of Black and Potter – Octans Potter, who

was arrested almost a decade ago on suspicion of murdering his own wife and was

sentenced with life without a trial.

More information should be released within the next few days…

“Hermione?”

Her breath seemed to quicken and her throat tighten further as she stared at the words. It was what she hadn’t wanted to happen, what everyone had tried to assure her wouldn’t even be a possibility and yet now it was staring her in the face and forcing old memories to take forefront in her mind.

Her parents were still talking, that much was sure but her eyes stayed focused on the paper, crushing it in her hands and trying her best to push the tunnel vision away. A whimper left her mouth, followed by a sob.

Chapter Text

Marie Felipe’s life had always been one of content, of a pure peace that resinated through her body and lived in every inch of her life.

She had always thought it would be enough, for why would she want more when she had parents that loved her, a pretty face, long dark blond hair and chocolate brown eyes, and top grades at Beauxbatons? Not to mention she lived in one of the best cities in the world, Paris, a place full of wonder, romance and a rich history that every corner seemed filled with something new to see.

There had been a thought of going to London at some time, of searching for some new adventure or some English gentleman who would take care of her but it was quickly pushed away in favour of her home and everything that came with it.

Her parents were adamant of her finding someone and settling down, to have babies and give them grandchildren they wanted...the thought almost made her laugh. Why would she want to give up her independence in a time when women seemed to be forced back into the home?

It had taken him to see all of that. A charming smile, beautiful blue eyes and short black curls that had her heart thumping loudly in her chest and her arms craving to pull him close, his soothing posh voice rumbling through her chest.

Even the Potter’s were known in France, a prominent good Wizarding family, it was when he mentioned his mother being a Black that faint alarm bells started ringing – ones she ignored. For all he was Octans Potter and far too charming for her to even think about letting him go.

She spent her days walking with him by the Seine and to all the Wizarding sights, everyday falling further and further under his spell until not a minute went by where she wasn’t thinking about how she could spend the rest of her life with him.

“Eet is a shame that you will ‘ave to go back to London soon.” Marie spoke softly as Octans sat across from her at a cafe, he shifted in his seat and offered her a polite smile but his eyes were more focused on the people around them. The Muggles.

“You could always come with me.” The idea was tempting and she let herself think of it, pulling on her deepest desires and the thrill that would come with something new and different from everything she had wanted to keep.

“Non, my parents would never agree to ‘zat if we were not marreed.” She batted her eyelashes at him, watching as he smirked slightly and seemed to be contemplating the idea, something that had her heart racing further. “Though ‘zat weel be something you ‘ave to speak to your Uncle about, I imagine.”

The smile drifted off her face as Octans frowned and tensed, eyes scanning again as he leaned forward to hiss at her. “Why would I have to speak to him about it?”

“I thought...weel, Fleamont is the ‘ead of your ‘ouse, ez ‘e not?” It seemed like something that was known, that Fleamont Potter had taken over his elder brother Charlus and therefore had more control over what his house did than anyone else did, just like British Pureblood tradition.

“There are two factions to the Potter line, it would only be my parents I would have to seek some approval from.” Octans spoke fiercely at her and Marie flinched backwards slightly, not used to his blatant anger after so many dates of warmth. The air seemed so much colder now and Octans seemed to notice as his pleasant smile was back. “But that is problem for another day, I would much rather spend my time focused on you.”

Marie blushed and nodded her head, falling back into her little bubble of love.

It took a few more dates and months but eventually he did offer her a ring, her parents hadn’t been too happy but they were respectful enough for it to be her choice, something she didn’t have to think about too much when he presented her with a beautiful ring and loving words. He was the man she wanted without ever having known.

...

Leaving Paris had been hard but it had been done after a beautiful wedding in her parents garden and with the compromise of moving to London. It had been done at the sight of Octans beautiful eyes and the thought of breaking her new mother-in-laws heart and so reluctantly she agreed and blinked away tears at her last glance of her home.

She had been expecting something grand, a large manor in the country, much like her parents, filled with beautiful furniture and smiling faces – instead she had landed in a dark and dingy, but still big house, with house-elf heads stuck to the walls and dimly light candles, not a person in sight to greet them, to welcome home their son.

“’Eenteresting decoration'.” Marie muttered under her breath with a cringe as Octans followed her gaze and scrunched up his face, muttering something about tradition but he didn’t seem too put out by the décor like she did.

“Octans?” A booming voice shouted, the couple turning to see an older couple before them. It was easier to see that her husband took more after his mother than his father.

Dorea Potter (nee Black) was just as beautiful as Marie had ever heard. Her face pursed in a stern and yet not too creased expression, deep brown eyes narrowed though perhaps the tight bun on the back of her hand helped with that, her skin much paler than Marie had expected, peaking out despite the Edwardian style black dress she wore.

Charlus stood taller than his wife and less stern, staring uneasily at them both with his sons eyes, his black hair pushed back on his head and a crisp suit with open robes on top. He seemed to want to say more but his wife’s hand dug into his shoulder.

“Octans, how lovely to have you home again.” Dorea’s voice was somewhere between overly sweet and harsh. The words seemed to tumble falsely from her lips and her eyes flashing dangerously as they landed on Marie.

“Thank you Mother and Father, it is so good to see you both again, I hope you are both well.” Octans spoke even more posh than he had before, moving forward to kiss his mothers cheeks and bow to his father. There was no emotion in his voice, nothing in his eyes as he turned to hold out a hand to Marie. “This is my new wife, Marie Felipe.”

Marie moved forward, curtsying to Charlus and kissing the outstretched hand of Dorea. “I am so ‘appy to finally meet you both.”

“Likewise, my dear.” Charlus spoke, his voice no longer booming but instead softer, his eyes on her like he was waiting for something else and a tender smile on his face. Marie offered a smile back, looking to Dorea but the woman just looked unchanged. “We are happy to have you here with us.” She couldn’t help but think he wasn’t, that he kindly wanted her somewhere else.

The warning bells she had tried so hard to rid were back, louder than before, dimming slowly as Octans placed a hand on the small of her back and offered her a rare kind smile, leading her towards an even darker dining room and sitting her across from him.

The house-elf that brought their food seemed meek and refused to meet her eye as it bowed to her, instead simply offering her food that seemed grey and entirely unappetizing. How she would miss her mothers cooking for it seemed these English lacked the ability to.

They ate in silence, wiping their mouths with off white napkins and sitting themselves straight until Dorea spoke, her eyes mainly on her son. “Have you heard about your cousin?”

“It has been hard, while away to keep up with the family, which one in particular did you mean?” Octans asked, there was a hint of amusement in his eyes but Marie looked to Charlus as he bowed his head and sent a warning look to his wife. The air almost seemed thick with tension and Marie couldn’t help but shift in her seat.

“It has been set that Walburga will marry Orion in the next week.” Dorea explained and Octans dropped his amusement while Marie wondered what kind of person would name a child Walburga. “Your Uncle Pollux was most upset to find…”

“Dorea, dear, how about we leave the family politics for another time, hum?” Charlus spoke suddenly, though his tone remained light, his eyes were flashing dangerously and flickering over to Marie who sat in silence.

“Perhaps it would be better discussed tonight at the family dinner.” Dorea bit out between clenched teeth and gave Octans a look that had him nodding his head and staring down at his plate before she coldly turned to look at Marie and gave her a once over, her lips pursing and her head tilting. “We will have the elf find something more suitable and perhaps less...Muggle for you to wear.” Marie felt her mouth fall open.

She had always thought her clothes lay on the line between both worlds, her parents had been Pureblood but not against the Muggle world in any form, in fact they had a love of doing the same. It was a shock then to see her beautiful tulle dress be disregarded as something unfit for her mother-in-law, perhaps she should have worn a cloak.

Marie looked at her husband, expecting him to take her side, for he had always loved her dresses but he too had the same pursed lips as his mother and was seeming like he agreed.

...

Regret started seeping into her life pretty fast from day one.

For all she had heard about the Potter’s, their only ever seemed to Charlus and Octans around, though there was the rare and occasional joy of Fleamont and Euphemia, the rest were a mixture of people with the name Black and a prejudice towards anyone who wasn’t. All of them with their cold eyes, and most with the same hair and clothes, not even those who married in seemed capable of offering advice nor a simple smile.

She didn’t see them much, which she was happy for. Her mother-in-law was enough for Marie to take with her clipped comments and dissatisfied looks, it had left Marie thinking her mouth was better to be shut.

And her husband, someone she had adored and loved, seemed to be slipping into someone she didn’t know. A man out to make sure his surname was upheld to the same standards at his mothers, with his now slicked back hair and dark robes. He barely paid her any mind, or any time, unless it was for himself and spoke to her in harsh tones.

Her nights had become something that was dreaded, when he would slip into her bed and take what he wanted without so much of a concern for her and then leave when he was finished to head back to his own room. When had it become custom for man and wife to sleep apart? It didn’t seem so important now, not when she could allow herself a few tears without a worry.

Her only relief was that of Charlus, a studied and educated man who seemed just as concerned about where his son was off during the day. They had both heard the stirring rumours of a man gathering people to bring back restoration to the Wizarding World, they both knew something didn’t sit right, not when Octans came home looking more crazed by the day.

It had only been three months of her life when she learnt the worst, for herself, her hands shaking as she sat across from the man, trying her best not to cry.

“I- I - “

“You are pregnant.” He spoke with such conviction, a worried frown settling and his blue eyes seeming saddened as he knelt down before her and uttered words with such a tender voice that she couldn’t stop the tears. “I am so very sorry – my son, he has not seemed himself but I have hope that he will come back to us one day.”

Despite everything, she wanted to believe that too. That this wasn’t just some stupid mistake she had made at a young age but something of a rough patch and that Octans would be back to his charming self in no time.

For months she held on, letting her heart melt when she saw a rare kind smile or the brightness in his eyes. She hoped a baby would bring him back from the edge he clearly seemed to be tittering on, would make them a family and they could forget everything else. Marie would forget everything else if that’s all it took.

And then Hermione was born on the 19^th of September 1959, a beautiful screaming baby with tufts of black curls and pale skin. Marie had wept as she held her, everything was worth it for this baby, her baby.

Octans hadn’t seemed to care too much, holding her once and claiming her name would be Hermione Dorea Black and that it would be a good thing if his cousin, Walburga, had a son. A possible restoration to their house. Marie had gaped, her baby was not something to be signed off as a future bride, but she couldn’t deny that they baby held more Black than Potter or Felipe.

It became more obvious as the girl grew, mentions of how she would be a future Black for the baby Sirius that Marie had met once. Though Hermione was softer, it still clung to her, the shiny black hair falling around her ears and pale skin, the only solace was those bright brown eyes that stared back with so much intelligence.

When held by the only other family member who seemed to love her, Charlus, she could see the slight resemblance, the cheeky grin and the pull of facial expressions. It helped to have him around as her husband drifted further and further away.

At night she would hold her baby close, mutter things to her in French and read her stories, she would watch the eyelids drop and then she would cry over their shared future, a life trapped with these bigoted and insane people, and marriage she wasn’t even sure she could get out of. None of them would let her get away.

Yet a plan built in her mind, a bag slowly filling with things they would need and a form signed by the Ministry to use an international portkey to France. Everything clicking together with a hope that they could get away.

...

She didn’t leave a letter or say goodbye as she left in the middle of the night, Hermione breathing steadily into her neck and a bit too heavy to now be carrying around. Three and growing fast, showing signs of magic way beyond her years, yet still her baby all the same – a baby who didn’t fuss as they zipped through the sky but stared at her mother with understanding eyes.

Her parents house was abandoned, left the same as it had been when they passed from a disease two years before and Marie had been unable to say goodbye. She wasn’t sure where they rested now, the government having taken care of that for her as they had informed in a letter, but even without them here it was still her home. Hermione’s home too.

A sense of relief had taken over her after the first night, watching Hermione run through the fields and speak in her broken French much to Marie’s amusement. Her content slipping back after so many years.

If only she could go back and stop herself, let the young Marie know who her husband and his family really were, she...but Hermione wouldn’t be here. It hurt, everything hurt, but it was worth it for her beautiful and kind daughter and she would do it all again if it meant she got to watch her little angel grow up.

Of course that was wishful thinking. They say there is always a calm before a storm, Marie had always been smart enough to know that but her heart still dropped on the second day when Octans stood before her house, sneering at her with his wand in his hand, Hermione gripping his other hand and staring at her father with a frown.

“Marie, Marie… I should have expected this.” Despite the crazy look, he remained calm, grinning at her like he had just told a joke and not like he was threatening her with his wand.

“Octans, please...let go of ‘Ermione.” She pleaded as their daughters eyes filled up with tears, he seemed to consider it but decided against it with another smile, curls popping free from his gelled back look. “I’m sorry…”

“You’re sorry...you stole my daughter from me, do you know how worried we were?” He dropped Hermione’s hand now and moved forward, the toddler staying in her spot and looking between her parents in a way that made Marie sure the girl would remember this for years to come.

“I had to keep her safe.”

He laughed loudly, throwing his head back and taking a few steps closer, her heart stopped as she tried to gesture for Hermione to remain where she was. “Stupid girl, I would have found you sooner or later wherever you went.” He raised his hand, bringing it down against her cheek and leaving Marie to stumble backwards as Hermione let out another cry. “And I won’t be held responsible if you try and take her again though I might be willing to leave this all behind if you come home now.”

“Never.” Marie muttered, standing herself up straight and cursing herself for leaving her wand inside, it didn’t matter, it wouldn’t stop him anyway. Octans turned to look back at her furiously. “Me nor ‘er are going anywhere with you, you monster!” She stepped out of the way of his hand now and raised her chin at his wand.

“I am warning you, Marie, do not make this harder than it already is.”

“You are not ‘zee man I fell in love with.” She spat out but nothing changed in his expression and he still held his wand in her face as Hermione cried but stayed where she was. “And I would rather die than go anywhere with you.”

Octans smirked at her and Marie drew out a breath, feeling much calmer than she ever had and so much regret, and yet a part of her still held him, the old him, in her heart while her brain wondered if everything had simply been a lie, a means to an end for him. It didn’t make sense, and maybe he did once love her, she could hold onto that.

“Octans!” Her husband turned quickly to look at Charlus appeared with Dorea, though the woman stayed cold, her eyes flickered and she almost smiled worriedly as Charlus scooped up Hermione in his strong arms and tried to comfort the baby. “Do not do this!” It was a warning and Marie let a smile form on her face.

At least someone thought she was worth fighting for.

“Come on Octans, this behaviour is stupid, we can discuss this at home.” Dorea called, softer than before but still harsh. Marie met her eyes and there seemed to be a level of understanding there but Octans didn’t move and neither did Marie.

“Charlus, please – please take ‘er somewhere safe and let ‘er know I loved ‘er, so much.” Marie called.

“Octans, I can not stand beside this!” Charlus shouted, he turned and whispered something to Dorea who shook her head. Octans turned to look at them, his eyes focusing on Hermione before they twisted into a sharp grin and he was turning his wand on them…

Marie grabbed his arm, pulling it back towards her and forcing him to look at her, into the eyes that had once seemed so beautiful. “You came ‘ere for me.” Her words were whispered as she moved to grip his face with both hands, watching as his gaze softened slightly and he leaned forward.

She thought for a minute she had gotten through to him but his eyes turned to steel and a wicked grin grew on his face. A shocked gasp left her mouth as her ears began to ring, his wand waving between them and his mouth moving to the words she knew would bring about her end, even as the green light seemed to vanish into her body and she fell to the floor.

Her last breath met with the words. “Now you can never take my daughter again.”

Chapter Text

When you begin a journey of revenge, start by digging two graves, one for your enemy and one for yourself. - Jodi Picoult

Hermione Potter had never liked pity – she never needed or wanted it.

Her life had been a mess since she was born, a murdering father, a dead mother and Grandparents that ran both hot and cold until they too were gone. She spent the first seven years of her life been passed around between family members, until she settled with her great uncle, his wife and their child.

Most people would like at it and a tragedy, a little girl suffering, something she understood once upon a time but for her it had given her a family who would keep her safe, who didn’t care for the different blood running through her veins because they loved her.

Her family was hers and it was about to be messed up by a man she wanted nothing to do with ever again but yet seemed to be finding his way to ruin everything good she had had for the last ten years.

A part of her wondered how Hermione Granger would handle this, probably not in the same panic Hermione Potter was – she would be looking at books, finding ways around the law and crying to herself in her room where no one could hear. She wouldn’t want the pity, much like Hermione – except now she wanted the pity.

Because this couldn’t be fair, she didn’t deserve this.

“Hermione?”

“I don’t -” Her voice was meek, barely even her own as the tears fell down her face and she looked to the people who had been her parents longer than her own. “Please tell me this isn’t true.”

“We wish we could, sweetheart – you know we -” Euphemia cried with her, her hand over her mouth as she tried to reach for Hermione, offer some comfort that couldn’t be given right now.

“When was this released?” Hermione asked, jumping away from Euphemia and pointing to the paper, her whole body seeming to shake as the adults looked to each other. “When was it – two days ago -” She muttered to herself as she picked up the paper and looked back up to her parents. “And you only thought to tell me now!”

“You were so excited that Lily was coming and we didn’t want to ruin that for you.” Euphemia spoke again, softer and more gentle like she did when one of her children were younger, Fleamont stayed still, his eyes narrowed on Hermione.

“I can’t believe – how could you keep this from me?” Hermione snapped her whole body shaking with rage and her ears ringing. “I don’t care if the Minister himself was coming over, I deserved to know this.” The walls seemed to shake around her as she stumbled backwards, her hands reaching out to steady herself against the side of the desk.

“Of course you did, but had to discuss it between ourselves...”

“Both of you have kept me in the dark about my own fucking father – this isn’t something you have to talk over, not when it comes to me or him!” Never in her life had she glared at her parents with as much anger as she was now, even if a part of her brain was protesting loudly.

“We understand your anger, sweetheart, you have a right to feel that but please remember that we were only doing what we thought was best for you.” Fleamont didn’t speak as soft as Euphemia, his voice was stern but his eyes were warm.

“And you thought it was best to spring this on me now?” Hermione snapped, her glare lessening but the fury still raged on inside her. “Did you see this?” The newspaper hit into his chest, his hands reaching up to catch it and hold it there. “This isn’t just some man who robbed a bank and did some years, this is a man who murdered his own wife and happily let people know who he supported.”

Would she be connected to Death eaters her whole life? In every life? One day she hoped she could have peace from all of this, that the war would be over and Voldemort dead and every single one of his supporters, her father included, would be buried in the ground beside the noseless snake.

Hermione turned back to look at her father and gulped. “If he gets out then we are dealing with a man loyal to Voldemort, who had no qualms about killing his wife, who has spent over a decade in Azkaban – a place that twists people into the worst of themselves – it will be off the cards about what he will be willing to do.”

“I will not let him hurt you if it comes to that.” Fleamont muttered sternly but there was a worry in his eyes, one that seemed to come with the pain of knowing just who Octans was. “There will still have to be a trial…”

“That he will no doubt walk away from considering half of Voldemort’s most loyal supporters are high up in the Ministry.” Hermione frowned before she let out a sigh, her anger seeming to melt away in place of fear. “It doesn’t matter what we plan, he’ll get free one way or another – it could be in a month or in the next year but he will be free.”

“We will protect you.”

“He will kill you all too if he wants to.” Hermione ground her teeth together, her already frayed patience seeming to be all but gone with the innocent way her parents were acting. “Not just because you have me here with you but because you are a part of Dumbledore’s Order.”

Fleamont’s strange eyes turned wide and Euphemia placed a hand over her mouth, both of them looking like Hermione had slapped the pair of them.

“How did you know?”

“Because I’m not stupid.” Hermione hissed out as her parents gulped and looked away from her as she smiled sarcastically. “It’s fine, I can have one father risking his life to fight the one who wants to kill us all.”

“Not yet you don’t.” Fleamont pointed out before he let out a sigh. “And hopefully he won’t get out – we have to have hope.” Hope was the fucking devil, all it did was hurt you in the long run.

“Excuse me for not having hope about my murdering son of a bitch father.” Hermione fought back, her teeth clenched as she turned to glare at Fleamont, eyes flashing dangerously and the whole room seeming to rumble slightly.

“Hermione -”

“I was three, when he killed her for taking me away, from what I gathered he never showed any interest in me before – if he could kill his own wife then he won’t think twice about either of you.” Hermione pointed to the two of them as her stomach twisted painfully.

She’d never learnt how they died in the other life, older than most parents she had just assumed that perhaps it had been age but looking at them now they were still too young for that. Something had happened between James being at school and Harry being born, otherwise they would have taken their grandchild.

It gave her something to worry about now. If Octans Potter was to be released, and he came for her for whatever reason, what would he do to them? They were in as much danger as herself.

“If they decide to go through with it then I can’t stay here any longer.” Her voice wobbled as she looked at the panicked eyes, her stomach twisting in pain. “I refuse to put any of you in danger – you are my family and I won’t let him take that away.”

Fleamont let out a laugh, moving towards her to bend down to her eye level, his own eyes strangely glazed. “My fierce daughter, my daughter, if you think we are going to let you go anywhere in the name of our protection then we haven’t done a very good job raising you.” He chuckled warily at the end.

“I won’t -”

“It is our job to protect you, it always has been, and we will not be handing our responsibilities to someone else.” Fleamont added, cutting her off as Euphemia nodded her head and wiped her wet cheeks.

“What about James? It’s not right to put him in danger.” Hermione called, frowning at her father.

“James would not let you leave this house without him, he would follow you to the ends of the Earth, just as we would because we are a family and we stick together.” Euphemia joined with a scoff as Hermione clicked her tongue – James would see it as some big adventure.

It was almost tempting, to climb through the forest with him as she had once done with his son. She could almost hear his half-witty remarks, see the crooked grin on his face and his constant need to cheer things up, but she would never do that to him.

“For now we enjoy our time, and if Octans ends up coming out, which will be decided months from now, we will discuss and protect one another then.” Fleamont stroked her hair as Hermione let a whimper and moved into his hand. “You aren’t going anywhere, sweetheart.”

Hermione let out a sigh, the tears falling from her eyes as she turned to look at Euphemia, all but running into the womans arms and crying into her neck. “Mum...I’m sorry…”

“My sweet girl, you never have to apologise to me – it is an emotional situation.”

How lucky she had been in her life to have two people who loved her so much they would risk everything to keep her here. Another sigh left her mouth as she opened her eyes and offered her mother a watery smile, eyes straying to focus broken photo frame on his desk and the knocked down books.

“What happened there?” Hermione pointed out, wiping her cheeks as Fleamont and Euphemia looked towards the desk with frowns, before giving her matching tense smiles.

“Nothing we need to worry about for the minute.”

…

Hermione sighed as she shut Fleamont’s office behind her, leaning against the door and resting her head on the old wood. Why did her life always have to be so tiring?

“...Albus, Fleamont.” Hermione frowned, leaning her head sideways and listening to her parents as they spoke in hushed whispers. Briefly she thought of turning away but then Euphemia was whispering again. “What is gets worse?” If what gets worse?

“What will he be able to do?” Fleamont hissed back, sounding more defensive. “She doesn’t need to be poked and prodded over something that clearly was an emotional reaction.” Were they speaking about her?

“She is at a pivotal moment in her life, it will do her no good to be...what if it happens again?” Euphemia pleaded with her husband, sounding a second away from crying and it made Hermione feel guilty over whatever it was that she had done.

“My love, I know you worry, but she has more control than we give her credit for – today was an exception and one we should understand.” Fleamont spoke softer now.

“Flea accidental ma -”

“Hermione?” Hermione turned her head with a frown to see her friends and brother stood before her with frowns, a grin on his face as he pointed to the door. “Are perhaps eavesdropping?”

Hermione pulled away, pulling down her shirt and wiping her eyes of any tears as she tried not to let her anger show at being interrupted from listening to whatever her parents were going to say, the door now seeming to just project a buzzing in her ears. Muffliato, great.

“No, James.”

Her head ached something awful now that everything had set in and her friends were staring at her with wide eyes, waiting for her to tell them something.

Hermione bowed her head, pushing herself off the door and moving past her friends and towards the staircase, her whole body was aching now and they were all following behind her, almost pressed against her back in their eagerness.

“...ask her.”

“No, you.”

“Hermione?” Remus spoke, wincing when Hermione turned from her way up the stairs, one hand on the railing, her tired eyes focusing on the group at the bottom of the stairs.

“You want to know what we spoke about?” Hermione asked them all as they nodded their heads. “Octans may be released, or it’s looking like they will lean that way.” It hurt to say, to admit out loud, hurt to see their faces staring at her in shock and worry.

“Shit, really?” Sirius whispered to her, taking a step onto the stairs.

“Yes, really, now as you can imagine it’s quite daunting to hear and also tiring – so I would really like to go to bed and just not think about this.” Hermione muttered, taking a step to turn around only for James to stop her, holding onto her hand.

“Wait a minute...I need – are you ok?”

“Obviously not.”

“Sorry, stupid question...what I meant is, will be ok?” Hermione couldn’t help but stare at the boy, fifteen and taller than her, taller than his son had been, his face resembled Harry so much but his eyes were something else. Hazel and bright, so full of knowledge and understanding of the situation.

Everyone had always told Harry how much he was like his father but Hermione honestly thought there had never been anyone like James in all her lives. No one with his capability of humour and seriousness, of offering comfort and annoyance. Of being a complete and utter pleb one minute and a sweet brother and friend the next.

He meant more to her than anyone else, a true companion and best friend – her family for as long as she wanted.

“Yeah, of course.” Her voice cracked slightly but she offered him a gentle smile and squeezed his hand, he seemed content with the answer, nodding his head and offering her a crooked smile. “It’s just been a lot for one day though, I think I will go to bed – I’m sorry it had to happen tonight Lily, you can go if you would like.”

To her surprise, Lily look both amused and shocked. “Go where?”

“Home, after everything -”

“I’m not going anywhere – I came to stay for a few days so I will stay for a few days.” Hermione couldn’t help the small smile that appeared on her face as those beautiful emerald eyes focused on her.

“I just thought -”

“Well you thought wrong, I’m not going to leave you.” Normally she would have been annoyed if someone kept daring to cut her off, but this time she couldn’t help but smile and looked down to hide her tear filled eyes. “Now go and get a good nights rest and we’ll talk tomorrow.”

“Thank you and I will – I’ll see you all in the morning.”

...

Despite the tiredness and the dread of the situation, Hermione couldn’t sleep, even as she laid in bed, one of James’ jumpers and a pair of night shorts, all she could seem to do was stare at the ceiling, like sideways on the bed, her feet dangling over the edge and her hands resting on her stomach while her thoughts moved through her mind like firebolt.

The door open with a slight squeak and Hermione didn’t have to look up to see who was entering, the smell freshly smoked cigarettes, grass and tobacco invaded her nose and numbed the slight bit of panic in her brain.

“I could’ve been sleeping, you know.” Hermione mumbled out, turning her head to look as he raised his eyebrows at her. “Or naked.”

“I was hoping you would be – what a shame.” He moved towards the bed, a grin on his face as he dived beside her, laying on his side and resting on his elbows as his silver eyes shone in the night. “I like these shorts though.” His fingers moved the rim of the fabric quickly and then his hand was gone.

“Hm, so did you play rock, paper, scissors about who got to come in here, can’t imagine James being too happy it was you.”

“No he moaned, tried to pull the family card and everything but ultimately, they knew the big handsome Wizard would be better for you.” He tapped her nose as he smirked and Hermione couldn’t help but roll her eyes.

“Oh really, so when is Remus getting here?” Her voice was light as she raised herself to her elbows and looked towards the door in eagerness while Sirius looked like a sad little puppy. “I’m joking, not about Remus being handsome, but you should see your face…” Her smile died slightly as she laid back onto the bed.

“Lucky for me then that I was lying and no one knows I’m here.”

“So you’re just sneaking into girls rooms in the middle of the night for a chat, why am I not surprised.” Hermione spoke dryly, raising an eyebrow as Sirius scoffed and laid beside her, his arm brushing hers. “Why are you here so secretly then?”

“Because I understand – maybe not to some extent but I know what it’s like to hate your own family.” He spoke so, for lack of better word, seriously but it was gone within a flash when he grinned at her instead. “Hah, I suppose our family – ew no, I don’t like that, it creeps me out.” It creeped her out too.

“Regulus doesn’t deserve your hate, he’s not like your parents.”

“Reg is a like arse licker who will do what dear old mother tells him.” She expected more than tired anger and a slight frown, though she wasn’t even sure why but before she could ask, he waved her question away with his hand and turned to lay firmly on his side. “I didn’t come here to talk about them anyway.”

“I don’t think you are sure what you came to talk to me about.” She tried for humour again, wincing when he took her hand and held it in his own.

“I came to make sure you were alright.” His voice was soft, like butter, tightening her throat and making her eyes sting. “I know you said to James that you would be but – Merlin, this isn’t something that you have to force yourself to be fine with.” She knew that, of course she did but sometimes it wasn’t that easy.

“What else can I do?”

“You could -”

“He’s still locked up for now, he could be for months – I am underage, if I left or tried to hunt him down then I would be caught and locked up myself by either the Aurors or my parents.” Her words sounded far away to her own years, muffled by her body turning to the side so they could lay face to face, hands entwined and eyes on each other.

“You would leave?”

“If I thought it would protect my family then yes.” It was an honest answer, one that both of them knew.

Hermione had suffered enough with losing people, more than anyone actually knew, she had seen first hand what people would do to get to her or someone else. Granted, leaving didn’t always mean people were safe but it could help if the Death Eaters were instead of a wild goose chase after her, with just enough crumbs to leave her family alone.

Though they all knew she would come back in a heartbeat if her family was injured – like an aggressive dog ready to protect her own.

Instead she patted Sirius’ hands and offered him a gentle smile. “But you don’t have to worry, I don’t want to go anywhere and mum and dad won’t let that happen.”

“And maybe he won’t be let out.”

“It’s easier to believe he will be, then I won’t have to face disappointment.”

“And you mentioned hunting him down?” He looked so worried that her heart ached a bit.

“Not anytime soon but he murdered my mother, Sirius – tell me you wouldn’t act the same?” Her voice was soft, her hand gripping his tightly but her words almost came through clenched teeth and her stomach twisted painfully.

Once upon a time she had been something of a voice of reason, trying to stop her friends from doing what she wished to do now – had thought there would be nothing that could come from revenge but times were different and so was she.

Nothing could take away the pain of losing a mother, of her mother being forcefully taken from her, she was aware of this but her father did not deserve to live. And a sick vindictive part of her wanted to see him begging for his life and know that no mercy was going to come.

“I honestly don’t think I would care if my father killed my mother, I might even celebrate.” Sirius broke her from her thoughts and caused her to roll her eyes.

“So then imagine something else, what if someone you cared about betrayed the people you love?” Her voice was quiet but there was a harshness behind it. “For example, Peter -”

“Why Peter?”

“He’s not here. Imagine Peter betrayed, James or Remus or me, and it got us killed, what would you do then?” She already knew but she watched him as his eyes narrowed and his tongue came out to wet his lips. She almost wanted to tell him everything but there would be nothing good that could come out of that at this moment in time.

“I would hunt him down and probably hurt or kill him.” He said it with such certainty but his eyes looked away from her. “Alright, I get your point but Mi’, you’re not a killer – your mother wouldn’t want you to be.”

Which mother? She thought but didn’t say aloud.

Mrs Granger would have no idea what to even say about the situation, Hermione Granger had all but stopped telling her things the moment they went from bad to worse. And now she was nothing more than a fading memory in Hermione’s head, even if she existed now – studying and living her life – it wasn’t like Hermione could speak to her.

Marie was someone else who Hermione couldn’t possibly ask nor know how she would respond, gone before her time because of the man Hermione wanted gone, but Hermione wanted to hope that her birth mother would understand her reasoning.

It was Euphemia who proved the most difficult for Hermione, her mother for perhaps a longer period of time as being a witch. She had raised Hermione, and it would kill her, regardless of the situation to think her daughter was out for revenge like some Slytherin but they all knew a part of her would understand, would still take Hermione back into her arms and offer her love.

People would always frown down for her plans, and what she was willing to do but she knew the truth in all of them, that if they were pushed enough they would do it too.

“Hermione…?”

“Have you heard from Peter yet?” Hermione asked as he frowned at her. “Bringing him up made me think about him.” She offered weakly even as he scoffed and looked at her in disbelief.

“No we haven’t, he isn’t responding to any of our letters.” It was already starting, earlier than before – because she was here, because the seed of doubt had been placed earlier. It both filled her with relief and worry.

With Peter gone, it would mean the future was more up in the air than before. No more spying, no more Halloween worry but also the possibility of something else going wrong – of someone else defecting, of not knowing where Voldemort would be when the time comes.

There were far too many possibilities now, too many outcomes that made her stomach turn and her mind begin to show her images she never wanted to see – Sirius, haunted from Azkaban, dying not two years after escaping unjust imprisonment; Remus grey, alone, only to get everything he wanted and then be taken away from it; Marlene murdered with her whole family, the name McKinnon lost in a single night; and the Potters, Lily and...her Jamie cruelly taken from the world and their son.

The future she was trying to stop, that she would only know about in a few years and it tore her up and brought fresh tears to her eyes.

…

The Next Day

“Well isn’t this cosy.” Hermione winced, opening her eyes slightly despite knowing the voice that was above her, and the arms that were holding her to a chest, legs all tangled together despite the fact that they hadn’t fallen asleep that way.

“Morning Jamie.”

“Oh don’t morning Jamie me – I’ve been worried all night only to find you being felt up by my best friend.” Hermione rolled her eyes as she gently pulled herself away Sirius, moving her feet so James could sit on the edge of the bed. “How are you?”

“I’ve been better.” She had also been a lot worse.

“I can imagine anyone would feel better without Sirius’ grabby hands.” He rolled his eyes as Sirius shifted slightly, a frown on his face and his hands reaching for something that wasn’t there. “I won’t force you to talk about it now, not when I’m sure our friends are about to burst in and with him here, but…”

“Of course, I want to talk to you about everything.” It was true, she wanted to tell him every last thing that she was feeling, let out everything that was eating her alive – but mainly she wanted to talk to him because she trusted him.

Neither could elaborate as the door burst open and Marlene strolled in with a grin, Lily reaching to stop the door before it could hit the wall and Remus all pink cheeked and unsure, and Sirius startling awake.

“Well isn’t this cute.” Marlene commented, gesturing to where Sirius was now sat side to side with Hermione, rubbing his eyes and yawning. “You know, Mi’, I never thought you would have the balls to sneak Sirius into your room, let alone sleep beside him.”

“We were talking and fell asleep, don’t let your imagination run wild, McKinnon.” Sirius bit out, his voice raspy as his bloodshot silver eyes narrowed in annoyance.

“Trust me, Black, you’d love what my imagination is cooking up.” Marlene leered at the pair of them, her eyes drifting downwards as Hermione shifted her shorts that no one had thought to tell her had moved in her sleep. “Though judging by your crotch situation, you already have some images of your own.” Hermione’s cheeks blushed as she kept her eyes forward.

“You’re disgusting.”

“It’s morning, and as you know Marlene, that’s a common time for a man to be...well in this situation.”

“You’re both disgusting and I regret coming in here.” Lily spoke, looking a little green in her face as Hermione raised her eyebrows.

“I’d say you get used to it but you don’t – how these two are the ones dating more people than any of us is insane.” Remus sighed loudly, his hands still in his pockets and a cheeky grin on his face as he leaned closer to Lily and ignored James’ glare.

“Rude, Moony.”

“Seriously – you might as well just date each other.” Hermione’s throat tightened as she tried her best to ignore the gut wrenching feeling that idea brought, her eyes narrowing and glaring at the floor, giving her enough chance to see James looking more uncomfortable with that suggestion than her.

“Ew, no thanks.”

“He’d never be so lucky.”

“Lucky? It would be like shagging a sister – no never.”

“No worse than wanting to shag your- “

“Remus, shut up.” Sirius snapped but his voice came out like a squeak, his eyes looking anywhere other than Hermione.

“Why are you all in my room?” Hermione asked with a sigh.

“Breakfast time...I guess you’re lucky we came in here to wake you up, can’t imagine Uncle Flea will be happy about seeing this.” Hermione winced but she had to agree, her father would flip out if he found her and Sirius alone in her room, despite being fully dressed.

…

Hermione silently slipped out of the house, wrapping her thin cardigan around her shoulders and staring out into the Potter garden, the trees reaching to the night’s sky and the stars twinkling above in order to offer a faint but pretty light.

She could hear them all inside, talking and laughing about whatever it was they had been discussing long before her need for air and quiet.

They seemed so free, free from the problems of murdering families and the future, so young and carefree from the problems that life might try and hand them sooner or later – she both envied and loved it, not that she would ever say that out loud.

Yet a part of her couldn’t help but wonder if this was how Harry had felt, surrounded by friends who didn’t bare the same weight on his shoulders, but yet showed him love and offered him family in another way. He had always craved a simple life and she understood that now too.

Maybe one day she would be lucky, when the wars were over, her duty ended, and the past and her future was nothing more than a distant dream, maybe she would be able to enjoy a simple life.

The thought almost made her laugh.

“Are you cold?” Hermione turned her head to see James quietly closing the door behind him, eyes peering over his glasses to look at her, a smile making it’s way to her face as she watched him.

Her past and future was so far away and it had been so long since that part of her arrived, since she had seen those people that their faces looked almost muddled in her mind, warped by the passing of time and their voices nothing more than a whisper in her ear.

Except Harry’s, with her life surrounded by James and Lily, it was hard to forget what Harry looked like or how he sounded when James was just a posher more annoying version. He was the one thing that stuck out clearly from Hermione Granger’s memories and was made hard to forget.

“No, I’m fine, just need a minute.” Hermione whispered, finally answering James’ question as he moved to sit on the grass beside her. “How long before they notice we’ve gone?”

“We have some time yet, Marlene and Remus were playing chess and I think Sirius is set on annoying Lily by listing every prank we’ve ever pulled that she couldn’t figure out how we did it.”

“Bet that’s driving her insane.” Hermione let a small smile take over her face, picking at the grass beside her hands and rolling over the blades between her fingertips.

“I can try and get them to ease up a bit if today was too much.” As always, he understood what was bothering her more than she tried to let on – showed what other people failed to link with him; observance.

“Because that will get everyone, including mum, dad and you, to stop.” Her voice was more hostile than she intended, a deep sigh leaving her mouth as she closed her eyes. “I understand it comes from a place of love but trying to swarm me with it is doing nothing but remind me of the fact that you all think I’m going to break.” Like a delicate vase on a tilted mantel piece.

“Mi’, we don’t think that.”

“Of course you do and I don’t blame you – no one else here is at risk of witnessing their murdering biological father leaving a prison he was supposed to be in for life.” The words tasted like acid on her tongue, burning their way up her throat and scorching the air around them.

“No, I can’t say we are.” James spoke softly but his eyes burned through the nights sky. “But that doesn’t mean we think you are fragile, just – that – well…” He sucked in a breath and pursed his lips, seeming to need a moment.

“Spit it out Jamie.”

“We’re worried about how you are actually dealing with this…” She couldn’t quite understand, how were they expecting her to take this news?

“It’s been a day.” Hermione responded with a frown, hands clutching the grass tighter, feeling the strain of the blades below as they were torn away from the root.

“And you’re you.” James all but spat out before he shook his head and clicked his tongue. “You’re not, and never have been, exactly open about how you feel and we worry that something is going to push you over the edge one day.”

The words stung like a slap, but she knew it was the truth.

Once upon a time, Hermione Granger had been as open as a book, her heart on her sleeve for everyone to see – crying for everyone to hear. She had been emotional and a rational thinker, despite what war had thrown at her. Hermione Potter sometimes missed that person.

But Hermione Potter had lived a very different life, a life with people who spent their days behind a cold mask and harsh words, and despite her time with Fleamont and Euphemia, a part of her lived behind keeping her thoughts to herself, away from her family. For how exactly could she tell them who a part of her was or keep them safe if they were to learn the truth?

It would mean capture and death for the lot of them if Voldemort found out.

“You’ve always been strong, Hermione, through everything life has thrown at you, you’ve always had this strength around you that let’s people know that the next day you’ll get up and keep going no matter what, even if it’s killing you inside, even if it means forcing a smile and lying through your teeth.” James’ voice broke through her worried thoughts.

“The world doesn’t stop for me, James, they don’t have time for me to sit and cry.” Hermione whispered out, turning to look at her brother, the glasses slipping down his nose and the hazel eyes burning into her own.

“Maybe not out there but in here, with us, we have all the time in the world.” She didn’t doubt it and a part of her wanted to take it. To confess everything but she couldn’t.

“And how long does that last before you all grow tired of it, before your own problems take front and centre stage in your life?” Hermione asked not unkindly. “I refuse to be a bad friend who people can’t speak to because their problems feel small compared to my own.” Her voice rose slightly and a her frown deepened as James sighed.

“That’s not -”

“Everyone knows the ins and outs of my life, they don’t need me to tell them how horrible the first few years of my life were and honestly I don’t want to go around speaking about it.” Hermione’s tone was that of their mothers, one that spoke finality.

“Fine.” James hissed out, spreading out his legs in front of him and leaning back on his arms. “Sirius told me what you said to him.” And here came the real reason he was out here beside her, because Sirius couldn’t stop from opening his mouth.

“I said a lot of things.” Hermione whispered out.

“About hunting down Octans.” She winced as the words came out but James kept his focus on her as though they were speaking simply about the weather.

“Let me guess, he was worried I was going to do something, despite that when I gave him the same option he agreed with me?” Hermione asked, with a frown as James rubbed his eyes and pushed his glasses further up his nose.

“He didn’t want you to do something stupid.”

“Trust me, I’m not going to do anything stupid anytime soon.”

“Doubtful – you are a Gryffindor, recklessly brave, it runs in our veins.” James spoke with a shrug of his shoulders before he pursed his lips and carried on speaking. “I want you to know I understand, while I might not agree with it, just promise me that if that day comes, you aren’t going in alone.” Her mouth opened in shock.

“James…”

“We stick together, Mi’, if one of us is feeling murderous then the other buries the body and keeps their mouth shut.” He was going for humour but Hermione couldn’t help but feel her heart warm slightly. “I go with you or you don’t go at all.” An ultimatum.

“I’m not going to ask that of you or anyone else.” Hermione hissed out, leaning closer to him so she could glare at him but he just stared down at her with a frown.

“We’re family, Hermione, through his stick and twisted means, which means that when he hurt you, he hurt me too and therefore I want him gone and out of your life as much as you do.” Something clicked in her jaw as she moved away, cursing his loyalty and love for his family.

Never in her life had she met someone who was so devoted to their own, maybe she just had been unlucky in this life. Yet, she admired it, need it but she refused to let him give his own life for hers, not when she wasn’t that deserving.

So instead she settled for a deep sigh, looking away from him and down at the ground, rubbing her hand against the shortened grass. “I’m scared, James.”

“Me too.”

“I promise I won’t go after Octans, not without thinking it through or having a well thought out plan, and I won’t go alone but I need…” Her tongue came out to wet her lip as she finally turned to face him again. “I need you to make me a promise in return.” His eyes narrowed and his head tilted to the side.

“Of course, anything.” He would do anything for his family, blindly and stupidly, but right now she needed that.

“Promise me that if there ever comes a time where you have to pick between yourself and me or your friends, that you will always pick yourself.” She leaned closer to him, watched the annoyance flow through his eyes and his head begin to shake.

“Hermione -”

“And that you keep your wand on you at all times, that you’ll always be prepared for battle when it comes.” Her next words were whispered as she looked down to see his wand poking out of his pocket, his hand reaching to grip it.

“I don’t...Hermione.” His voice was stern, eyes wide as she itched closer to him and gave him a small smile.

“Promise me, James.” Her hands gripped either side of his face, holding him there to look at her as she stared in those beautiful hazel eyes. “Because I can’t live in a world without you.” Her voice shook as his frown deepened.

“And you think I can live in one without you?” He asked, as she shrugged her shoulders, his hands reaching to pull her hands away and hold them tightly between his own. “Hermione, you know I can’t!”

“James, please, just promise me, one day you’ll understand.” She promised that to herself, that one day she would tell him everything, whether he believed her not, when it was safe and there was no need to hide – when he, Lily and Harry were all together.

“Ah...fine...I promise.”

Chapter Text

It is more shameful to distrust our friends than to be deceived by them. – Confucius

August 1975

“What is happening here?” Hermione asked with wide eyes as she walked into the living room, Remus rolling on the floor in laughter as James and Sirius stopped their strangely good and provocative dancing to stare at her with nervous grins.

“We were dancing.”

“I can see that. Why?” Hermione asked dryly, raising her eyebrow to look between the boys who were smiling nervously at her while Remus chortled under his breath.

“We were showing Remus what he missed the other night.” Sirius spoke loudly, a grin on his face as he danced side to side. Whether she wanted to admit it out loud, the boy did not have two left feet like her brother, and she wouldn’t be surprised if ladies didn’t swoon over his moves.

“You two dancing like idiots?” Instead she asked, sticking her tongue out at James as he frowned at her. “Not unusual but when did that happen?” Now she was curious, as personally she never saw a place to dance other than at a ball or to the radio alone.

“When we went to that clu- ow!” Sirius doubled over as James’ hand hit into his stomach.

“You went to a club?”

“Look what you’ve done now, Padfoot.” James hissed, smiling nervously at Hermione’s raised brows and narrowed eyes. “It was more like a...something that wasn’t a club.” He winced at the end when she rolled her eyes and perched herself on the arm of the chair beside where Remus now sat.

“Was this something a place where people get drunk and grind up close together to overly loud music?” Hermione asked innocently, crossing her leg and placing her hands on her lap.

“Yes...no?”

“Glad I wasn’t invited.” Hermione said with a grin as both boys took a deep breath. “Just at least tell me it wasn’t disco.” She almost pleaded with them.

It had something of a shock to her, the day she walked into the Common Room to hear a couple of girls singing along to the Wizarding Radio, a popular disco song playing – her ears had all but bled at the noise. The surprise had been evident, and had stayed for months to come.

“Of course not!” Sirius snapped, his hand on his chest as he looked sick at the thought. “Who do you take us for?”

“Generally?” Hermione asked with a smirk on her face as both boys nodded at her. “Two boys who will take whatever they can get.” Remus slapped his knee as they stared at her with hurt and shocked expression.

“She’s got you both there.”

“Like you wouldn’t join them if you could.” Hermione turned amused to Remus as he smiled up at her, looking unaffected and a brightness that was rarely seen in his light green eyes.

“Girls in leather with tattoos and piercings all over their faces aren’t really my type.” Remus fought back and Hermione couldn’t help but smile. No but in a few years there will be a girl with pink hair with a strange sense of humour and two left feet that will steal your heart.

“No he prefers the more studious, cute looking girls.” Sirius spoke as Remus blushed and Hermione pursed her lips as Sirius sent her a wink. “Can’t say I really blame him.” He sauntered forward only to be pulled back by an annoyed James.

“You do realise you are related, right?” James asked, his voice but a hiss as he gestured to Hermione who was pushing Remus aside so she could sit beside him.

“Isn’t everybody?”

“You Blacks and wanting family members.”

“Mate, I can’t limit myself, Blacks are everywhere – I have to make some exceptions and as long as we aren’t first cousins then I can deal with it.” Sirius spoke but Hermione winced and rolled her eyes even if it felt like her cheeks were on fire. “Of course, your sister -”

“Is no longer interested in being the centre of your jokes simply to wind up James.” Hermione spoke dryly rolling her eyes as Sirius stared at her with a frown. “Frankly, it’s tiring and would only be considerable if you were sincere about it, so until that day comes, refrain from thinking or speaking of me like one of your fans.” His mouth opened as Hermione looked away and back to the letters in her lap.

“I wasn’t – wait…” Sirius frowned, his tongue rolling around in his mouth as he seemed to think over her words, despite that fact that his own seemed to be lacking at this moment, much to the amusement of his two friends.

“You’ve broke him.” Remus spoke out loud as James sat beside her feet with a smirk. She shifted uncomfortably, unsure of what she was actually waiting for Sirius to say – it wasn’t like he was going to declare his intentions or undying love and she didn’t want that.

“Good, then he can keep quiet while we read these.” Hermione said softer, a small smile making it’s way onto her face as she handed out the Hogwarts letters from her lap, that she had collected not five minutes ago, throwing Sirius’ onto the coffee table and leaving it there for when he regain his senses.

“Guys!” Marlene and Lily ran into the room, Marlene gesturing to Sirius who still stood in some state of shock. “What’s wrong with him?”

“Hermione basically told him to stop flirting with her unless he was being serious.” They all turned to look where Sirius was no glaring at the coffee table, clearly not having heard his usual entrance to his joke. “Though now I think he might be regretting his life choices.”

“Took him long enough.”

“Fuck off, Marlene.”

“And he’s back...Hogwarts letters?” Marlene asked, as Hermione nodded her head, handing the two girls their own letters, as Sirius moved to grab his own, before going back to her own with a frown, wincing as she heard Lily gasp.

It wasn’t like she had been expecting to be Prefect, for she knew it would be Lily this time, but a small part of her had hoped that she would be offered the duties again. Yet she couldn’t blame Dumbledore for giving them to Lily, when Hermione spent most of her time not seeming to pay attention and landing herself in detention.

Lily was the perfect student, so eager to please as Hermione Granger once had, seeming to feel that if she didn’t learn everything or take in everything that was told then she would be something of a let down and not worthy of her position. Truthfully it had only taken that part of Hermione coming to the past to realise that wasn’t the case.

“Congratulations, Lily.” Hermione whispered as Lily held up the badge, her mouth open in happy surprise. “You deserve it.”

“Yeah congrats, Evans, not entirely unexpected.” Sirius spoke, sending a wink to Lily who blushed and shrugged her shoulders, trying to push away Marlene who seemed determined to hug her to death. “Remus’ is though.” Everyone turned to see Remus holding up his own pin, a large P on the front of it.

“Oh Merlin, please tell me that isn’t real.”

“Shut up, Prongs, think of the pranks we could pull with Remus on the inside.”

“The inside of what?” James answered back a strange pout of his face as he turned to look at Sirius. “All he’s going to be doing is walking around at night.” Hermione had to bite back a laugh, it was the truth really, they didn’t do too much.

“Like a constant look out while we explore – this is what we need to finish the map.” Sirius whispered the last words to James as Remus rolled his eyes.

“What map?”

“Never you mind.”

“I will mind when it’s a risk to both mine and Remus new positions – just because we are somewhat friends now does not mean you will be getting away with all the stuff you normally do, right Remus?” Lily snapped back, sending a pointed look to Remus who grimaced and gave a single nod.

“You think we’re friends, Evans?” Sirius asked with wide eyes, as James frowned beside his best friend, staring at Lily like he had never seen her before in his life.

“Oh no.” Hermione muttered under her breath, letting her face fall onto her hands so she could peer through her fingers instead.

“Should have kept your mouth shut.” Marlene added, a smirk on her own face as she watched Sirius shake James’ shoulders, but her eyes were hard and her hands were clutching her letter tightly.

“Did you hear that, Jamie, Evans thinks we’re friends?” Sirius exclaimed, bouncing on his knees like a small child around Christmas presents as James let his frown fall and a small grin take over his face.

“I’ll take it, better than nothing.” Hermione lifted her head up and frowned at James, she had been expecting more, screaming, shouting, demanding that they just jump straight into being a couple instead but he seemed subdued, despite the wild glint in his eyes.

“What a joyous day, come here, we need to hug.” Sirius cried as Lily let out a small scream as Sirius practically threw himself onto her lap, his arms around her and his head resting on top of hers as she tried her best to move away from him.

“What is going on in here?” Euphemia exclaimed as she walked into the sitting room. “Sirius, let that poor girl go at once, honestly you would think you would learn some manners!” She snapped, clicking her fingers and waiting until Sirius pulled himself away from Lily with a cheeky grin.

“Sorry, Aunt Effie, I was just showing my new friend some love.” He cackled as Lily smacked his hands away from trying to hug her again before he elaborated. “Her and Remus are the new Prefects.”

“Really? Oh how exciting, congratulations to the both of you…oh I must make a celebratory meal, I’ll even invite round Andy, Ted and Dora to celebrate.” And just like that Euphemia’s annoyance was gone and she was instead directed into full excitement, her hands gripped together and her grin wider than ever.

“There’s no need for that Mrs Potter.”

“Oh hush now, of course there is.” Hermione smiled as her mother patted Remus’ head, effectively shutting him up. “Unless you would both like to spend it with your parents?”

“That’s fine Mrs Potter, I think my parents are enjoying having the house to themselves for a bit.” Before the next full moon hit and Remus was to go back home for a few days to prepare but no one who knew said anything.

“Actually, mine are on holiday with Petunia – it was suggested that I don’t contact them unless it was an emergency so I’ll tell them when they get home.” Lily added, her cheeks a pretty pink and her eyes focused on her letter instead of the frowns she was receiving.

“Your parents don’t want you to contact them?”

“Oh no, Petunia doesn’t – she isn’t the biggest supporter of who I am, no point making it worse by rubbing it in her face that I’m in a top position at my school.” Hermione let out a scoff, if Petunia was her sister then she would be rubbing her accomplishments and magic in her face every single day just out pure joy of the situation.

But Lily was different, kinder and softer – she all but hated her sister and loved her at the same time, never trying to step over the edge just so Petunia would feel better about herself.

“Well then it’s settled...I’ll go send an owl to Andromeda at once.” Euphemia spoke with a grin clapping her hands together and all but running out of the room, shouting for Poppy loudly as Lily turned worried eyes onto Hermione.

“Andromeda, your cousin?”

…

Hermione could not find it in her to wonder why Lily was so nervous about meeting Andromeda, they had interacted briefly during their year together at school but the woman hadn’t been round while Lily was staying with them. Still she couldn’t help but find the whole thing slightly amusing when Andromeda turned those dark eyes onto Lily and smirked.

“So you’re the girl who has been turning my Jamie down?” The woman looked Lily up and down, raising a perfectly plucked eyebrow, looking every bit the haughty Black that she claimed she wasn’t.

“Oh...erm...yes...well...I didn’t realise he was your Jamie.”

“Of course he’s mine, he is my family.” Andy bit out, sending a wink to Hermione who rolled her eyes. “Would it change anything if he wasn’t?” Lily blinked, a frown appearing on her face as Marlene made a strange sound under her breath.

“Well...no?”

“Relax, kid, I’m only joking around – James deserves a little ego knock every now and then, and personally you seem far too good for him.” Andy winked as she leaned closer to Lily, like they were sharing a personal joke except Lily looked far too uncomfortable and put out at the whole interaction.

“Oh…”

“Andromeda, that is no way to introduce yourself.” Euphemia spoke, walking towards the kitchen with a basket of fruit under her arm and Poppy following behind her. “What will Lily think now?”

“Nonsense, Aunt Effie, I think Lily and I will be great friends, the two girls who turned down James Potter.” Andy grinned wolfishly, placing a gentle kiss on Euphemia’s cheek before turning back to Lily to tap the smaller girls arm. “Isn’t that right, Lily?”

“Yes?” Lily answered unsure, what the three women warily through wide eyes as though she was scared Euphemia or Hermione would scold her and Andy for daring to turn down James.

“Oh leave the poor girl alone...honestly people are going to think I’ve raised a group of illmannered children...now where is Dora?” Euphemia asked, hands on her hips as she frowned at the woman before her.

“It seems she is trying to pull out Sirius’ hair.” Hermione turned to look at where three year old Dora sat on Sirius’ lap on the stairs, her hands in his hair, pulling hard and laughing cheekily at his face when he winced.

“That should keep her entertained until dinner, make sure you keep her out of my kitchen, I fail every time she asks for a biscuit.” Euphemia claimed, a hand on her chest before she was on her way back to the kitchen and leaving the ‘children’ alone in the entry way.

“I can’t blame her there...anyway, who’s ready for a match?” Ted asked as he slapped his knees and grinned at the boys on the stairs while Marlene grinned cheekily.

“Always Tonks, I even talked Lily into playing.” Marlene spoke, turning to look at the redhead with what could only be described as a ‘shit-eating’ grin that made Hermione feel far too nervous and Lily gulp audibly.

“More blackmailed me into playing...I didn’t realise it would be today.” Lily mumbled, shuffling from foot to foot and sending another nervous glance to Andromeda.

“No take backs!” Marlene shouted, pointing a finger at Lily. “Hermione, you’re playing to.”

“I’d rather not, I have more important things to do...like plot the downfall of Octans.” Hermione spoke carefully, ignoring the sighs and the looks that were sent her way to inspect her nails for dirt.

“While I’m glad to see you can joke about that, I’m not taking no for an answer.” Marlene spoke hesitantly as Hermione looked up to smile deviously as she pulled her hair into ponytail.

“I’m not joking.”

“Of course not.”

“Mi’, let’s just go play – I won’t let you fall and neither will Remus.” James whispered, moving forward to pull on her hand and give her a pout that made him look about five despite the fact that he towered over her and had a couple of hairs on his chin.

“Remus? What about me?” Sirius cried loudly, chuckling when Dora laughed with him, clapping her hands together.

“He doesn’t try fondle my sister, though I doubt she’ll let you do that any more, and this way I can watch you be pelted by bludgers.” James cackled, turning to look at the Tonks’ as they raised their eyebrows. “Hermione basically told him to bugger off in the politest way possible.” Andy turned to look at Hermione with a confused frown, one Hermione avoided.

Great, Hermione thought, Andromeda was not going to leave this alone anytime soon, but she would be careful about where she asked, clearly waiting for an opportunity.

“Auntie Mimi?” Dora asked, breaking Hermione from her thoughts to look at the suddenly stern faced toddler frowning back at her. “You play Qu’itch.”

…

“Alright, so we are splitting into two teams, four on each...oh wait we need a ref...and someone to watch Dora – ah -” Ted stopped his pacing back and forth, his nervous air resurfacing as he looked at where his daughter sat on the back doorstep beside Hermione, smiling at the bubbles that Hermione was blowing beside her.

“Poppy?”

“Yes, Miss Andromeda?” Poppy asked as she appeared out of thin air with a crack.

“Would you be so kind as to call our fouls and referee with Nymphadora, please?” Andy asked with a soft smile, gesturing to the child who was now staring at Poppy with a grin, hands already reaching forward for the old elf to come to her.

“I would be honoured.” Poppy choked out, her hand on her chest as though she had just been given the biggest compliment in her life.

Hermione and James rolled their eyes, while Hermione might not have been with the Potters since she was a baby, it didn’t stop Poppy from doting on her like she was one, taking it upon herself to bake for the children, tuck them into bed and tell them stories. Poppy’s love of babies and young children was something that never changed.

“There, sorted, continue Ted.” Andy commanded, clapping her hands together as Poppy and Dora stood together, not that much size difference between them, and walked closer to the group.

“So we will be limited to one player for each position – James and Marlene are chasers, myself and Dromeda are keepers, Remus and Sirius are beaters, which means the lovely Hermione and Lily will be chasers.” Ted spoke, declaring for all to hear.

The teams were sorted after that, James, Andy, Hermione and Remus on one side, Ted, Sirius, Marlene and Lily on the other side. A fake pitch with small hoops before the trees and James’ old Quidditch ball set were thrown into the sky by Poppy and Dora and then the teams were off.

Hermione frowned as she flew higher than the rest, glad to be out of the action that seemed to be taking place with Andy and Ted both leaving their posts to join their chasers while Sirius and Remus seemed more content to try and hit each other.

“Why did we even join in this game?” Lily asked as she wobbled beside Hermione, who could remember a time she feared being on a broom or anywhere in the air, long before she joined James and his incessant need to drag her into his games.

“Everyone needs a seeker.”

“I meant to ask, why did...Andromeda called James hers...her family?”

Hermione couldn’t help the smirk. “He is through me, I suppose, Andy has spent more time here than her own home – she even has her own bedroom.” Hermione pointed to the corner of one house, her other hand gripped her broom tightly as Lily wobbled in her attempt to turn around and see only to give up.

“But she made it seem like…?” Her mouth was pinched and her cheek tinged a rosy pink that almost made Hermione laugh.

“Like it was more?” Hermione spoke dryly, raising her eyebrow and ducking her head as the Quaffle was thrown towards them. “Don’t worry though Andy isn’t after James, more like James has had a crush on Andy since he was like nine, and she likes to remind everyone of that fact.” Hermione explained lowly as James shot past them.

“I wasn’t worried.”

“Sure you weren’t.” Hermione’s grin fell as Andromeda swooped in beside her, knocking her broom slightly and giving her a wicked grin that made her frown and Lily shiver. “You know you’re supposed to be guarding our goals, right?”

“James and Remus have everything covered, and their seeker is gossiping with you.” Andy explained as she pointed out to where James seemed to have taken every single roll on their team and was doing quite well if his grin was anything to go by. “So what happened?”

“With what?”

“I think she’s asking about you and Sirius.”

“There is no Sirius and me.” Hermione hissed out as Lily blushed, shrugged her shoulders and took off, leaving the the two cousins alone to talk in the sky.

“Clearly not after today.” Andromeda remarked, lifting one hand away from her broom to brush away a stray hair from her messy ponytail without even a waver of her broom. “So what did you say to make my cousin look like you stole his pumpkin pastries?” As if to prove her point, she nodded towards Sirius who looked like he had swallowed a lemon.

“Nothing.” Hermione answered quickly, letting out a sigh as Andy gave her a look. “I just said that he should stop flirting with me to annoy James, or talking about me in certain ways.”

“Right...and where did that come from?” Andy asked as Hermione frowned. “I’m not saying that you did anything wrong, but he’s basically flirted with anything that moves since he was two so -”

“That’s my point, sometimes I don’t even think he knows what he’s saying but lately this summer, it seems like...like it’s too much.” She didn’t have the words to explain how every little comment stuck in her mind and did odd things to her stomach. “I’m supposed to be his friend, and I’m aware that 80% of what comes out of his mouth is a crude comment, but he doesn’t speak like that to Lily and Marlene.” Unless it was an obvious comment but even then it wasn’t a reflex like it seemed to be with her.

“Because they aren’t you.” As if that answered anything, it just made Hermione frown at the older woman. “He says things because he’s stupid and he’s been allowed to get away with it, and you don’t want him to speak like that about you any more because you want to be seen as more than just another girl to him.” It was spoken like a fact, one that had Hermione’s cheeks turning red.

“That’s not -”

“Both of you will realise one day, but for now, you just concentrate on what you want and don’t let anyone, not even handsome and stupid idiots, make you think you deserve different.” It was said softer, a hand reaching out to lay on hers. “That being said, don’t give up on him just yet.” She winked and flew down the pitch, leaving Hermione alone with her confusing thoughts.

...

“You cheated.”

“We didn’t cheat, cousin, you just aren’t very good.”

“I would imagine getting hit round the head with own bat would do that to someone.” Sirius barked out, turning to glare at Remus as he held up his fingers rudely in his friends face. “Twice.”

Hermione watched Sirius from under her lashes, as she listened distantly to the bickering between him, Andy and Remus continue, her cousins words playing in her mind and her stomach once again clenching uncomfortably like it had a thousand angry dragons fluttering around inside it.

Butterflies had once been a term that she was more familiar with and something that just couldn’t be used to describe the effect Sirius was clearly having on her. An effect she still couldn’t quite understand or even name. It wasn’t like because half of the time she wasn’t even sure she liked him, but it was something.

She was aware that he was attractive, even at nearly sixteen, more so than anyone else she had known in her life that it was actually quite unfair, with his dazzling grin and unnatural eyes – to describe him as pretty would be far too basic for a manchild like Sirius but it often came to mind when he smiled at her and reminded her of why so many girls chased after him.

It was often followed by the reminder of his arrogance and complete knowledge of how he looked that made Hermione roll her eyes and remind her of her teenage mind in all it’s hormonal glory. Pretty looks were not enough to win her over and push her past the point of having a full blown crush on him.

And yet there were some days where she would sit thinking to herself about what it would be like to indulge him, to see if his lips were really as soft as they felt or if the rumours that whispered around Hogwarts were true. So no it was not like, but perhaps misguided lust that came from lack of romance in her life.

“...I’m just surprised Lily caught the snitch, I’ve never seen someone fly worse than Hermione.” And just like that she was brought back into the conversation, her eyes narrowing as he sent a wary grin her way.

“Trying to deflect, Black?”

“Obviously...though I mean look, even Dora can do better.” Sirius gestured to where Ted and James both stood beside Dora on her little child’s broom, floating two feet above the air with a serious expression on her face, her hair matching her mothers.

“Shut up – I did my best, just the whole idea of floating on a stick isn’t natural.” Lily gestured to the broomstick which was resting on the grass between her and Hermione, long forgotten about and looking a bit worse for wear after it had all but crashed into the floor once the snitch was caught.

“And yet you’ll get in one of those giant metal birds?” Sirius asked, flapping his hands around in an impression of a bird.

“An aeroplane?” Lily asked as Sirius nodded his head and let out a quiet thank you. “They have walls and safety features, unlike this.” She picked up the broom before placing it back on the ground with a grimace.

“Well we have wands and we can cast cushioning charms if you fall.”

“Maybe I’ll just watch you do that from the sides next time.”

“Your loss.”

“I think I’ll be joining Lily next time.” Hermione added to stop their bickering, leaning back onto her hands and turning to look at Andy. “When did you relent and get Dora a broom?”

“Your brother got into Ted’s head that Dora will be the next Gryffindor chaser and needs to start her training earlier.” Andy spoke, letting out a sigh as the sun vanished behind the clouds once more. “I’m fine with the training but Gryffindor is where I draw the line.” Her smile turned cheeky and her eyes glinted.

“Personally I always saw Dora heading into Hufflepuff.” Andy tilted her head and pouted out her bottom lip as she stared at her daughter as though to see if Hermione was right.

“As if, look at who she is surrounded by.” Sirius scoffed out, gesturing to the group.

“Her Slytherin mother and Hufflepuff father?” Lily pointed out, raising an eyebrow and turning to look back at where Ted was laughing as James all but ran around after Dora on her slow broom.

“Us.”

“Yes because I believe your habit for valuing reckless bravery above everything else is going to rub off on her.” Andy commented sarcastically as Sirius glared at his cousin.

Hermione tuned out as they bickered between them, more interested in watching her brother with his own crooked grin as Dora escaped his grasp once again. She couldn’t help but wonder if this was how he would be with Harry, chasing after his son with pure joy.

She also wondered if this is how Dora was before, flying on a broom, surrounded by a strange family that doted on her far too much or if it had just been her, Andy and Ted.

Obviously they wouldn’t have had the Potter’s as much in their pockets, Hermione had caused that bridge between them, offered a place to stay and a family to call her own. By the time Sirius was at school, Andy would have been getting ready to run off and as far as Hermione gathered, Andy and Sirius only saw each other a couple of times after that.

Perhaps things had been changed now, making the Tonks’ feel safer but Hermione was certain of one thing – Dora would forever remain the clumsy girl with a big heart, that much was clear as she managed to wobbled off her broom and into her fathers waiting arms.

“Sirius, trust me on this – Dora will be a Hufflepuff, in fact I am so certain, I bet you fifty galleons that come the 1^st of September 1984 she will be sorted with the badgers.” Hermione spoke, a lopsided grin on her face as the boy looked at her with narrowed eyes.

“Profiting from friends, how very Slytherin of you – I would also like to take that bet, though while I believe she will be sorted in Hufflepuff, I will also add that she will be a hat stall between Hufflepuff and Slytherin.” Andromeda added, a sly grin on her face as she held out her hand to Hermione, who happily shook it.

“Right...you’re on, but prepared to hand over your money when it turns out she’s a Gryffindor.” Sirius spoke after a second, only reaching to shake Andy’s hand as Hermione kept hers under her chin.

“What’s the odds she turns out a Slytherin?” Lily asked after a second, a thoughtful frown on her face and blush on her cheeks as James threw a giggling Dora into the air only to catch her a second later.

Interesting. Hermione thought, keeping her comments and sly smile to herself and mentally preparing to ask them at a later date when they were both alone and away from Sirius’ inability to keep anything a secret.

“More likely than Gryffindor.”

“Moony!”

“What? I’m going on 40% chance either way she’s either Hufflepuff or Slytherin.” Remus explained, shifting uncomfortably as Andy nodded her head approvingly. “10% each for both Gryffindor and Ravenclaw.” He added after second thought.

“Low odds.” Lily remarked dryly before turning to grin at Sirius. “I’m going with Hermione.”

“Then I am going against the status quo and saying Ravenclaw, but I’m only betting a single galleon.” Marlene spoke, her whole body tensed and and her eyes even colder than usual.

“What are you lot doing?” Ted asked with a frown.

“Betting on the house your daughter will be in.” Sirius spoke with a shrug of his shoulders. “Hermione and Lily say Hufflepuff, me and James say Gryffindor, Remus is between Slytherin and Hufflepuff and Marlene has said Ravenclaw.” Sirius explained with a sigh, glaring at everyone who had dared to go against him.

“What did you say, my love?”

“Hufflepuff, but Slytherin hat stall.”

“Well then I go with my wife.” Ted spoke, kissing his wife’s cheek and sitting beside her. Hermione couldn’t help but blush as she watched them, a couple so in love that it seemed natural for Andy to curl into Ted’s side, his arm around her shoulder and his lips moving to press a kiss into her hair.

“Isn’t that a betrayal to your own house though Andy?” Marlene asked, stretching out her legs and leaning back to rest on the grass.

“Just because she’s a Hufflepuff, doesn’t mean she won’t cause the havoc of a Slytherin, she is also my daughter just in nicer packaging.”

“I think your packaging is pretty nice, Andy.” James leered, jumping when a red spark hit him in his arm, his lip coming out in a pout as he turned to look at the culprit. “Ow Ted.”

“James, you’re too young and immature, we’ve been over this.” Andromeda spoke, though she didn’t seem annoyed, but rather amused by the situation.

“Not to mention you’re married and almost like his older sister.” Sirius complained, throwing James a look of disgust as his best friend just rolled his eyes before Sirius was grinning at him. “Mate, go for girls your own age.” His silver eyes flickered to where Lily and Marlene were sat.

Hermione watched with a frown as James’ cheeks turned red. “Because you’re one to talk.” Sirius just shrugged his shoulders and laughed but there was a hard edge to it.

“I am trying, mate.”

…

Monday the 18^th of August 1975

Hermione frowned down at the paper before her that was spread on the table, she had been looking for updates about Octans but none had come. Instead something else stood out.

Late last night an Auror arrest took place for Mr Parker Pettigrew, who was charged with attacking a Muggle close to his home. When asked what provoked such an attack, Mr Pettigrew simply sneered and declined to answer, but rumour has circulated to claim that Parker has been involved in other attacks claimed by the followers of You-Know-Who. As for now we have no answer, but hopefully when the trail takes place we will get the answers we are looking for. - Dehliah Cratford.

It wasn’t the opening she had been looking for, rather the opposite and it frustrated her further. In both her lives she knew nothing at the Pettigrew’s at all – only that Peter was a rat who would betray his friends.

Sure she had heard stories, ones about how weak he had seemed, eager for power and how he spent his time ‘looking after his sick mum’ but there was nothing else after that. Nothing for her to compare to the news article before her – she couldn’t know if Peter had been raised like this or whether somehow this was her doing.

A sigh left her mouth, changing the future wasn’t easy, one could never predicate every single move and it wasn’t like she could out Peter without outing herself so instead she had planted seeds of doubt that seemed to spring to life in Sirius and die inside her loyal brother.

The door opened, allowing for Remus to enter, his light green eyes scanning the library for her and his smile breaking out into an easy grin that seemed slightly pained when he finally saw her.

Like a soothing balm to her broken soul, he made her feel slightly lighter, a truly calming presence if she had ever known one – even if they weren’t as close as she had once thought they would be, still a good friend if she ever needed one.

“I thought I would find you up here.”

“You know me so well.”

“Great minds think alike.” He grinned as he tapped his head before jutting out his chin to the paper on the table. “What are you reading?”

“Peter’s father was arrested last night.” There was no point mincing her words or tip-toeing around the subject when Remus had always been a man who valued honesty, especially considering he spent most of his days lying to everyone about who a part of him was.

“Oh...yeah, your dad told us when he got home, thought we deserved to know.” Hermione’s jaw clicked and Remus sat beside her. Clearly she wasn’t important enough to be told, once again.

Instead of letting her ire show, she placed a concerned frown on her face and shifted her whole body to face Remus as her hands fell on her lap. “Have you heard from Peter, I imagine he will be quite upset about this?”

“No, nothing – I sent him an owl last night – he hasn’t even…”

“Sirius and James said they’ve heard nothing all summer.” Hermione mumbled, tilting her head to the side. “Do you think something’s wrong?”

“I think something isn’t right.” Remus responded, his eyes narrowing and his own jaw tensing. “I know what you and Sirius have been saying to each other, well before you started avoiding each other like the plague.” His eyes turned to look at her pointedly but she tensed her jaw and turned away.

They hadn’t been avoiding each other, more like avoiding any awkward potential conversation that could be had from her all but admitting she might consider something more and him keeping his flirty comments to himself, like she had asked.

It was like they were in some strange limbo, dancing around something that neither seemed to want to admit, even if they had no clue what it was. Still, Hermione missed her friend, even if he was only a few rooms away with her brother.

Remus let out a small cough, bringing Hermione back to the real thing they were talking about. Peter. “And you think we’re wrong about?” She wanted to shouted that she wasn’t, that she had proof of what happened before but the words remained lodged in her throat.

“Maybe...I think, like James, that we should trust our friends until they prove otherwise, and I don’t want to think that Peter is...well that he isn’t who he says he is.” Remus spoke, his voice more controlled and his eyes flashing with bits of gold.

The whole group of them were loyal to a fault, even when they didn’t want to be. They trusted who the knew instead of knowing who to trust and ignored everyone else telling them to not be so blind – they ignored Hermione, who was smarter than all three of them.

Even Sirius who had agreed with Hermione, still seemed unsure at parts – still seemed ready to believe whatever excuse would fall out of Peter’s mouth.

“Then I think both you and James are kind of stupid.” It was harsh and she knew that by the way hurt flashed over his face but she didn’t care.

“You don’t need to be rude, I know you don’t like Peter but…”

“It’s more than don’t like – there are some many signs that he is sneaky and manipulative and yet you all ignore them – did you forget his whole thing with the Slytherins?” Hermione spat out, glaring at him now. “You claim you trust him and yet you’ve never thought to bring him into the fold about what you are and what your friends are doing for you.”

A nerve had been struck, raw and personal. It made Remus’ face as hard as stone and his eyes flash dangerously, she should have known not to aggravate him this close to the full moon but she couldn’t find it in her to care.

When would they all realise that she was just doing what needed to be done? That edging Peter out the picture would keep them as safe as they could be, that her mistrust came from a good place and she wasn’t just doing it to be a bitch to the boy.

“That’s different, I just didn’t want to put that on Pete – he means well but he can’t keep his mouth shut.” He didn’t mean well in the slightest, this wasn’t a time where people could be playing both sides of the war and expect people to turn a blind eye to it.

“No Sirius can’t keep his mouth shut and yet you trust him, Peter goes around spilling secrets because he knows it will get him something.” Hermione told him and he flinched again.

“I think you are being a bit unfair.”

“Make him take an unbreakable vow.” Remus winced, opening his mouth to speak. “And you’ve just proven my point, you don’t trust him for whatever reason but you just don’t want to admit it, like the rest of them.” His mouth closed and his eyes turned downcast.

Hermione didn’t add more, there was nothing else that could be said at this moment in time, so instead she settled for reaching for another book and flipping it open to a random page, eyes scanning over the words she actually held no interest in reading.

Remus stayed silent, eyes full of sadness and skin paler than usual, though that part could have been because of the approaching moon, still her heart ached for him as she reached out a hand to hold his own. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be a bitch, it’s just that -”

“I don’t trust him.”

“I know.”

“But it’s not because of his father or the people he hangs around or even the fact he barely spoke to us in the past year but because the wolf doesn’t.” His hand squeezed her own and his eyes focused on hers as she offered him a weak smile.

“Smart wolf.” A chuckle left her mouth. “I’d trust that part of you, animal instincts are often known to be better than humans – perhaps we should ask Sirius and James to conduct a test.” It was an attempt at humour that had the corners of their mouths turning up.

“Why you don’t you trust him?” And just like that it was back to frowns and friends who would betray them.

“Sorry?”

“Since you met him you’ve all but hated him...why?” He was eager for an answer, that much was clear – so desperate to learn why someone else couldn’t trust his friend.

Hermione sucked in breath, her tongue running over her lips as she thought about his question. What she could she even say? ‘She didn’t trust him because of the future and everything he did, but she didn’t even know why he did what he did.’ Things were different now and in all honesty she had never given Peter the benefit of the doubt.

And he proven, at least to her, that he didn’t deserve it. He was sneaky and everything she had ever thought him to be. But she knew that wouldn’t satisfy Remus.

“I...er...I don’t know.” Hermione began, ignoring the look he gave her. “Or I didn’t know in the beginning, but everything from the sneaking off, the Slytherins and that eager look he gets in his eyes...well it just put me off.” It was the best she could do and he seemed to accept it as he nodded his head.

His hand squeezed hers again and he offered what could be described as a Remus smile – pained from the moon and tinged with a bit of self-loathing but free from judgement and anger.

He didn’t hate her because of what she thought, even if he wanted to disagree with it, even if it hurt him. She had always admired that about him, the lack of judgemental and petty bones in his body, the kindness he tried to live his life with.

And for a moment she was angry with herself that she had tried to put him through this, that she had pushed until he confessed. Now, she wanted nothing more than to offer him a long hug, brush the stray shaggy dusty blond hair from his beautiful green eyes and place a genuine smile on his face that was push away all the hurt.

“Am I interrupting something here?”

Hermione jumped, her head all but spinning around to see Sirius stood at the end of the table, his eyes focused on the pair of hands that were slowly slipping away from each other and the two people who were leaning back in their chairs.

Remus’ cheeks had turned a pretty shade of pink and Hermione just felt confused about the whole situation as she stared at Sirius. Tall, handsome and trying hard not to be a Black in as many ways as he could, with his Pink Floyd t-shirt and jeans that looked like they hadn’t been washed in days to the anger in his silver eyes.

Her stomach clenched as she all but stared and her cheeks felt ten times hotter, she could see Remus watched her with a small smirk as he no doubt probably could hear her heart beating faster than was normal.

“Well?” Like a dog, Sirius did not like to be ignored.

“We were just discussing Peter.” Remus explained carefully as Hermione crossed her arms over her chest and waited for whatever male thing was happening between the two boys to stop.

“And what? You were scared he could hear you so you decided to practically sit on each other?” Was he jealous? Her jaw tensed and her eyes narrowed but he all but ignored that she was there.

“Don’t be a dick Padfoot.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know any other way.”

“What is going on in here?” And suddenly James was there, looking much more put together and clean than Sirius did except for the hair that seemed extra messy today. “I can feel the tension from the bottom of the stairs.” He eyed all three of them carefully.

“Your sister and Moony looked like they were about to snog, don’t worry though Prongs, I think my appearance stopped it.” Sirius spat out as James’ eyes turned wide and he looked between Remus and Hermione with narrowed eyes.

“Please if I wanted to snog Remus then I would, and no one’s presence would stop it.” Hermione bit back as Sirius’ jaw ticked and Remus’ cheeks turned deep red – James looked both amused and disgusted as he sent a wary look to Sirius.

Honestly she didn’t understand boys, it wasn’t like any of them had any claim on her in the slightest – sure James was her brother but if she wanted to kiss someone, whether it was Remus or even Sirius, then she was allowed to do that. It’s not like anyone had stopped her from the little snog she had had with some seventh year Ravenclaw last year.

But clearly something was happening because Sirius looked a second away from having a tantrum over something that didn’t involve him, unless he was willing to admit some things, and Remus looked like Lily’s hair.

She cleared her throat and grimaced as she spoke. “Actually, we were talking about Peter and how he hasn’t owled you since school ended, and the fact that his father was arrested last night.”

“That makes more sense.” James said, sending a wide eyed look to Hermione as Sirius glared at her. “And I’ve been thinking about that all day – I think we should go check on him.” He turned away from her, drawing the attention of his best friend back to him.

“What?”

“Something could be wrong and we’d be pretty shitty friends not to make sure he isn’t okay after last night.” Ever the white knight ready to save everyone he could, even if they didn’t want or need to be saved.

“Right – but how will we even get over there?” Hermione asked, gritting her teeth as the three boys turned to look at her with frowns.

“Wait, we?” James asked with a laugh as he shook his head. “No, no, no, Mi’, you are not coming.” Sirius opened his mouth and then seemed to think better of it as it shut with an audibly snap.

“Of course I am.”

“Why do you even want to come? You hate him!”

“Hate is a strong word.” Hermione tried to get through her teeth even if he was right, that didn’t matter right now. “I’m coming too, Jamie.” She was not about to let her brother walk into a stupid situation that he wasn’t prepared for.

“But -”

“If you three are Maraudering around then I am joining in.” A smile made it’s way to her face as the three boys turned to look at her with wide eyes, turning to look at each other as if to see who had said something only to come up blank.

“Does this mean we can all wear matching leather jackets?” Sirius finally spoke but the joking tone in his voice was as flat as a piece of paper.

“Maybe…” Hermione answered, trying for humour again as she grinned. “I do like leather.” She smirked as Sirius raised his eyebrows approvingly and seemed to mumble something under his breath that got him a smack to the stomach from Remus.

“How did you know about that name?”

…

Hermione let out a hiss as she landed harshly in the middle of nowhere. She hadn’t apparated in a few months and each time reminded her of how she was no longer used to the action, even less so when it was by an elf with three other people tagging along.

“Why couldn’t we just use the floo?” She complained, rolling her ankles and dusting off her skirt.

“Peter doesn’t have a floo.” James answered quietly, looking around with a frown. It was quite a pretty area they had landed in, tall trees and countryside pretty much all around them, though the smell of animals not too far away had her nose scrunching up.

“Mister or Missus will call for Poppy when they are ready to come home.”

“Of course, Poppy, thank you for bringing us.” Hermione smiled down at the elf, nodding her head as Poppy grinned back at her before she vanished with a loud crack.

“This way.” James began, leading the group forward with Hermione and Remus following on and Sirius trailing behind them slowly.

“What is his problem?” Hermione whispered to Remus, looking over her shoulder at Sirius who was glaring at the ground and stomping his feet like a small child. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes at the sight and nor was she in any mood to deal with his behaviour right now.

“Erm...I think he thinks something was happening and that we didn’t tell him.” Remus whispered back, his cheeks turning slightly pink.

“What a child and that still doesn’t explain why he’s angry.” Hermione hissed back, crossing her arms over her chest and ignoring the voice in her head that kept trying to talk her into something that was not true in the slightest.

“Don’t play dumb Mi’, you know it does – maybe you should just speak to him.” Remus spoke again, a knowing smile on his face as he moved forward on his long legs to walk beside James, leaving Hermione alone to stare after him with an open mouth.

Why did everything seem to assume she knew what they were talking about?

Like they could speak to her in condescending tones and soft gentle words that would just magically place everything they knew into her head and give her the answers. Perhaps they could spend their time better telling her what they knew that she clearly didn’t. Or maybe they just assumed she would get it eventually.

She was half tempted to ask Sirius if he had any clue when he appeared at her side, her arms crossing over her chest and her eyes staring ahead as she contemplated her options before opening her mouth and settling for asking the least argumentative choice. “I didn’t expect Peter to live in a manor.”

“He doesn’t.”

“Then -”

“Not his.”

“Well what an enlightening conversation, I almost feel like you aren’t annoyed about something at all.” Her eyes narrowed at him when he refused to look at her and focused on their friends ahead who seemed to be having some deep conversation before them.

“I’m not.”

“Sure because usually you can’t keep your mouth shut and now you’re barely saying two words.” His jaw tensed further as Hermione glared at his silence. “Though I suppose this is the most we’ve spoken in two weeks.”

His silver eyes turned to look at her, making her catch her breath for a second. “Whose fault is that?” Hermione let out a small laugh and shook her head as he looked forward again and rolled back his shoulders. “Maybe I just don’t want my friend to be annoyed at me for speaking to his girl.” Sometimes, it seemed, he was more stupid than he looked.

“Your assumptions are astounding and annoying, you know full well that I am not Remus’ or anybody else’s girl.” His eyes narrowed further but Hermione just offered him an annoyed smile.

“Yeah, because friends sit that close.”

“And that comes from the boy who has both slept in my bed and spends his time with his arm around me.” Hermione spoke dryly, his cheeks turning red as she raised her eyebrows and her grin turned wider.”You seem to forget that when it’s convenient to you – Remus is just my friend and you know that, so what is your issue?” She waited patiently, tapping her foot on the floor as he stopped to face her with a wry smile.

“No issue, it’s just surprising.”

“What does that mean?”

“Come on Hermione, the closest thing you’ve ever had to a relationship is the library – though I suppose in your defence it’s hard to get out there when the only people who have asked you out are Diggory and McLaggen – makes sense why you would go after a friend.” He winced as soon as he said it but Hermione couldn’t hide the unexpected hurt she felt.

Now Hermione knew she wasn’t ugly, different perhaps with her features seeming to clash with one another so that they all stood out at once, with her porcelain skin, jet black curls and dark chocolate eyes. But she had never thought that Sirius would make her feel like she wasn’t someone to be desired like the girls he went after or even Marlene who was basically sex on a stick.

“Wow.”

“Wait – I – Hermione, I didn’t mean it -”

“I’m not going after Remus.” Hermione cuts him off before he can get his half-arsed apology out, holding up her hand. “Not that it has anything to do with you anyway, but thanks for making me seem so unwanted by the whole male population of our school.” She didn’t wait for him to answer as she turned on her heel and stormed after James and Remus in the distance.

“Hermione, that’s wasn’t what I was trying to say but at the same time someone has to be honest with you.” Her hands threw up in the air but Sirius rushed to finish his sentence as he walked beside her. “While you’re incredibly...pretty...you spend most of your time acting uninterested and far too intimidating for anyone to even consider asking you out and -”

“And you are completely unaware of the hole you seem content to be digging yourself into so how about I be honest and help you out by telling that you’re being a fucking dick right now – I mean what is your problem?” Hermione snapped, ignoring the couple of older women they walked past who watched them with shocked expressions and mumbled words.

“There’s no problem, I just don’t think it would hurt if you wanted to try a bit more.” He regretted the moment it came out of his mouth and she knew that but it didn’t stop the anger that was boiling in her blood.

“Try a bit more? What would you have me do? Get my tits out like half of the brainless bimbos that follow you around? Spread my legs for idiots like you?” He seemed shocked with hostility, his silver eyes wide and filled with something that she didn’t even want to name right now. “You know if that’s what it takes to get a boyfriend or even be friends with someone like you then I’m not that fucking bothered.”

“Oh of course, just storm off and don’t listen to a word I’m actually saying.” He snapped as he followed after her but she ignored him, standing herself between James and Remus as they came to a stop in front of a house.

It was an old English house, with grey/yellow stone, often found in the country, a thin fence cutting it off from the old stone road and a garden at the front with the trees to the local forest behind the house. But it was small and despite it’s beauty, it seemed a bit run down, with the flowers in the garden dead and the roof looking like it had a couple of leaks.

“Pete!”

“Shut up, James.” Hermione snapped at her brother as he turned to face her with wide eyes. “Have some manners and knock.” His mouth opened in understanding as Hermione, stony faced, turned to the other two boys. “Does Mrs Pettigrew normally leave her garden so… decrepit?” She gestured the garden they now stood in.

“I think we established that I don’t pay attention.” Sirius spoke dryly as Hermione rolled her eyes.

“Hermione’s got a point, the whole house looks abandoned.” Remus spoke, moving slowly to stand between them both as though he thought they were going to have another argument, Hermione was offended, she was done arguing with the boy who couldn’t think before he spoke.

“Something isn’t right.” James mumbled, the three turning to see him as he gently pushed open the door and looked inside, gesturing with his other hand for the to follow him inside.

The house felt emptier than it looked, with an obvious sign that no one had really cleaned or possibly lived there for a good couple of months, as everything had a coat of dust settled on top of it except for the few old footprints on the wooden floor – probably from Mr Pettigrew the night before.

The kitchen was empty of any food and the living room had nothing but a couple of sofas and a large fireplace, Hermione moved closer towards it, picking up the pot on the mantel and looking inside at the leftover green powder. “I thought Peter didn’t have a floo?” She asked James as he followed her.

“Don’t know why he would lie about that.”

“Maybe he didn’t want you turning up unexpected.” Hermione muttered, giving him a pointed look as he sighed as moved towards the window that looked into the back garden.

“Maybe.” He answered back before he turned to frown at her, looking at the old watch on his wrist and shaking his head. “Where could he be at 2 in the afternoon?”

“Meeting with his snake friends.”

“Shut up.”

“He’s clearly not here.” Her voice carried through the house as she left him alone, following the footprints into a little room that no doubt belonged to Peter.

It was quite simple, a bed pushed against the wall with a desk opposite it and a small wardrobe at the end of the room, a soft grey carpet and light blue walls. The bed wasn’t made, it’s sheets thrown around and a few leftover pieces of parchment littered the desk, Hermione moved closer, recognising the writing of Peter and frowned.

“What’s that?” Remus was beside her, frowning over her shoulder and staring down at the parchment in her hand.

“Looks like a list of random nonsense to me.” Hermione sighed, passing it over to his waiting hand and giving him a soft smile as she sat down on the bed and waved the dust away from her mouth. “Perhaps you can figure it out.”

“You alright?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Her voice had taken on the tone that she often used to speak to the ladies her mother sometimes had at their house dinner, proper and as fake as she could possibly be, only lacking the bright smile she usually gave too.

“Because Sirius is a dick with poor emotional control and the need to push people away.” Hermione scoffed because that was the understatement of the century. “He doesn’t mean it though – he’s just...well I’m sure he has his reasons that he won’t be very happy if I share with you.” He muttered the last part as he sat at the desk and looked over the parchment.

“You know I grow tired of excuses and lies masked as secrets.”

“Because you have no secrets?” Hermione ignored the eyes piercing the back of her head to look inside the bedside table. “It obvious to people who pay attention that you like him.” Her shoulders tensed as she turned around to look and glare at him.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Did you know that werewolves have rather sensitive senses?” She raised one eyebrow, of course she knew that, though Remus never spoke about it. “It’s easier for us to pick up on a rapid heartbeat and a change in...’smell’.” His teeth glinted against the light as he cringed slightly.

“’Smell’?” Hermione smiled as she took in his blushing cheeks and the way he refused to meet her eyes, the smile falling off of her face. “Wait...you mean...oh – erm...I think you are probably confusing me with one of his fans.” She threw it off with one hand but her cheeks remained brighter than ever.

It was one thing to admit that you might be attracted to a boy who you had been arguing with not half an hour ago but another to be called out by a friend based on the pheromones you were giving off, and she couldn’t help but wonder if animagi had more animal senses when they were human too.

“I won’t tell anyone – personally I never want to mention this conversation again, but I won’t say anything about what you feel.” Remus whispered to her as they heard the boys shuffling about closer to the bedroom, whispering to one another.

“I don’t even know what I feel.” Hermione hissed back, lowering her voice and her head so her face was covered by her curls. “I mean how can I like someone who spends the majority of his times trying to get under a girls skirt, and who seems to have complete disregard for peoples feelings.”

“He’s an idiot, always has been, and I’m not going to try and convince you otherwise.”

“Thank you.” Hermione sighed as he sat beside her, looking over the paper Remus was still holding and rubbing a hand over his arm. “You know this is one of the occasions where I hope I am wrong I am wrong about him.” It came out even quieter than usual, a truth she never thought she would admit in her life but one nonetheless.

“I think everyone is hoping that.”

“Did you seem them?” The pair jumped up from the bed at the harsher voice from outside, Hermione moving closer to the little window with it thin layer of dirt to look outside only to see the trees and nothing else.

“Who was that?” Remus asked her, his face paling as he stood up straighter, clearly hearing something that she couldn’t as he moved to push her quickly towards the bedroom door.

“Hello!”

She froze for a second at the voice. “James!” Hermione hissed though she couldn’t hear her brother as the footsteps got closer. “Get out of here and call Poppy!” She insisted as he and Sirius appeared at the end of the hall, their eyes wide.

“I’m not leaving you!” Her brother insisted and Hermione rolled her eyes and felt her heart swell slightly, her stupid loving loyal brother who didn’t care what he had promised when it came down to it.

“This isn’t the time to be brave!” He opened his mouth to fight as the footsteps came closer to the front door, the handle jiggling. “Use your cloak and hide.” Hermione hissed quickly, staying just long enough to watch James pull his cloak from undetectable extension charm in the back pocket of his jeans and throw it over both him and Sirius, their ankles showing.

The door opened not long after, Remus grabbing Hermione and pulling her under the bed, quickly dragging the duvet to hang over the edge and hide them further, his arm pulling her closer to him to make more room of the limited space.

“I thought you said you saw them, Rosier.” The voice was familiar in a way that reminded her of someone else she once knew a long time ago but couldn’t quite name.

Not that she was focusing on that when their feet and dark cloaks could be seen from down the hall where James and Sirius had last been. Merlin, she hoped they were hidden, everything out of view or even possibly trying to get out of the house without being spotted.

“I saw a group of kids heading this way while I was sat watching in that house.” Someone, Rosier, spoke harshly, his boots moving closer towards the bedroom. She didn’t know his face or how he looked, Moody having killed him before her first life, but it was enough to make chills run up and down her body.

“Watch your tone -” She knew that voice, had listened to it’s condescending tone and vicious insults once before. Had all but heard it in her ear as she was tortured. Fucking Lucius Malfoy.. “The Dark Lord knows these children will come looking for Pettigrew, your job is to tell us when they do – if you have made an error then -”

“I didn’t make an error!” Rosier snapped louder, moving even closer to the bedroom and checking behind the door. “There were four of them, I recognised Black and the Potter’s, hard to miss them.” Remus pulled Hermione even closer, her back all but pressed into his chest as she breathed out a small breath.

“Then where are they, Evan?”

“Shut up, Goyle – they’re here somewhere.”

“Or maybe they fucked off and you called us too late.” Goyle laughed, much like his son would one day – stupid and loud. She didn’t doubt that he would be a problem if they were found, one quick spell and he would be out like a light.

“Now now, Goyle, we must believe Rosier, perhaps they have gone for a little stroll throughout the area.” His slimy and yet silky voice floated through the air, giving a sense of arrogance that had her nails digging into Remus’ arm.

“Maybe we should get Pettigrew here to call them out, if they were here then they were here for him.”

“You know the Dark Lord has plans for Peter, plans that must not be disturbed.” Malfoy spoke over Goyle, she could almost see the smirk on his face. “Do you not agree with the Dark Lord?” Trick question, she wanted to shout.

“What’s he need a fifteen year old child for?” Goyle asked, sounding much like a child pouting himself as he and Rosier moved closer in the bedroom before backing out and sending a punch into the bathroom door that had it banging against the wall loudly.

“That is for him to decide and not for us to judge, the little rat had information on the Potters, Black and their little friends, enough that the Dark Lord has found some use for him.” Rosier hissed as he too moved out of the room, Hermione let out a slightly louder breath as she felt Remus stiffen.

It was one thing to speculate, it was another to have the truth thrust onto to you by people well known to be following the Dark Lord, no matter how much people ignored it, and her heart ached for him.

“Come now, let us check around the house, they can’t have gotten far.” They waited there as Malfoy ordered them away, waiting until the door shut before she scrambled away from Remus and out of the bed with harsher breaths.

James and Sirius were already waiting in the hall for them, the same cold eyes and hardened faces that no doubt was on Remus’ who stood behind her.

“We need to leave.” His voice was cold and his breath blew the smaller hairs around her head as she turned to look at him, the light green eyes that were always filled with some kind of warmth seemed dull and angry at this moment.

“We can’t just walk out of there.” Hermione whispered back, snapping her head back to the front door and taking a deep breath.

“I’m going to kill Peter.”

“Not if I get there first.”

“Not now – Poppy!” Hermione hissed, cutting off James and Sirius, as a loud crack echoed throughout the house and Poppy appeared, her tufts of hair sticking up in every direction and her old dress swishing with her movement as she grinned at Hermione.

“Missus called, Poppy take Missus, Master and friends home.” Her tiny hands wrapped around Hermione’s as the door slammed open and three men poured in with their wands drawn and pointing at the four children with sneered lips.

Hermione let her mouth slowly curl up as the first tug of apparation pulled on her stomach, smirking at the men as she whispered her last words to them. “Tell Peter we say hello.”

…

They landed on the ground, stumbling over their own feet and breathing deeply. Hermione rested her hands against her knees and turned to look at her brother as he slumped into one of the chairs and pulled his glasses off of his face.

She wanted to say something, anything that would make them all feel better but nothing fit in this moment. Nothing would take their pain away.

“Thank Merlin.” The group turned to see Marlene stood in the archway, dressed in mismatched clothes that didn’t seem to fit her normal style with her new chin length hair messy and tucked behind her ears.

“Marlene?” Hermione asked, stretching up and stumbling backwards as her best friend wrapped her arms around her and hugged her tightly. “What are you doing here?” She pulled back enough to see the worried expression in those icy eyes.

“Your par-”

“Where have you all been?” Hermione flinched as Euphemia stormed into the room with Fleamont hurrying after her, hazel eyes glaring at everyone but Marlene. “We have been worried sick.” Hermione wanted to point out that they had only been gone a little over two hours but it didn’t seem worth it.

“Erm...we - “

“Use your words, boy.” Fleamont snapped at James and Hermione tensed her jaw.

She understand their hesitance, their worry – after all the war seemed to be amping itself up with every passing day, with her father being at front of it all, not that he would full on admit he was an Auror and in the Order – as was her mother.

Still it was slightly ridiculous considering the amount of times the group had walked down to the village many times throughout the summer, which wasn’t as easy as it looked nor that close.

“Yes father.” James spoke, bowing his head slightly before he straightened his back and his glasses. “We went to see Peter.” Fleamont tensed as he turned to glare at his only son before sending a quick look to Hermione, as though she should have known better. “We know it was -”

“His father was arrested last night, what would make you think that now would be an appropriate time to visit him?” He asked, his voice colder as he sat himself down on a chair with a sigh, rubbing his forehead as James gulped.

“Dad, we had to see if he was alright.” James protested, even if his voice was colder and his fingers were digging into the armrests. “It doesn’t matter anyway, he wasn’t there.”

“If you had of asked me then I would have been able to tell you that.”

“What?” Sirius asked suddenly, throwing his arms in the air, but it lacked the usual tone. “Why didn’t you mention that?” He turned to frown at Fleamont who didn’t seem put out to see one of his children’s friends treating him with such familiarity.

“Because we were only informed about it this morning after we questioned Mrs Pettigrew about her husband.” Fleamont explained, linking his fingers and placing then on his lap as he leaned forward and stared at the carpet. “I was coming to ask you all when your mother informed me that none of you were home.”

“When did you all decided to take matters into your own hands?” Euphemia asked suddenly, and unlike Fleamont, she hadn’t seemed to loose any of her anger and was staring directly at Hermione for answers.

“When Peter didn’t owl back and things just stopped adding up.”

“What exactly are you accusing Peter of, Hermione?”

“I’m not accusing him of anything other than what we now know to be true.” Hermione defended herself, grimacing as her mothers eyes flashed when she turned instead to look at her father with a serious expression. “The Deatheaters turned up looking for him while we -”

“Excuse me?”

“What do you mean they turned up?” Fleamont asked, cutting off his wife and frowning. “For Peter?”

“No, they know where Peter is though – seems he’s joined some kind of Junior Deatheater club.” Hermione explained to her father, shaking her head as she heard Sirius mutter something under his breath and Marlene reach out to ask James something quietly.

“Did you catch any of their names?” Fleamont asked suddenly, looking half wary and half excited. Hermione guessed it had been a long time since they had been able to bring some kind of Deatheater in.

“What -”

“Rosier, Crabbe and Malfoy.” Hermione answered before her mother could go on a tangent about what her father was actually asking them.

“None that we didn’t already know about, hard to catch them.” Fleamont let out with a sigh, slumping back into his seat, looking like a much older version of his son, for a second, especially when he added in the eye rub under his glasses.

“Fleamont -”

“And if you use us as witnesses?”

“You were already in a place you shouldn’t have been, you’re lucky there weren’t still Aurors around to witness your little break in – for now we keep quiet about this.” Fleamont pointed to all the children in the room, all of them nodding their heads in agreement. “Did they see you?”

“As we were leaving.” Remus responded, his face pale as he flinched away from Sirius’ pat on his arm.

“Well they won’t be able to say anything without incriminating themselves, though we can play that the four of you were visiting a friend if it comes up, now -”

“Fleamont, our children were just in danger, this is no time -”

“I understand, Effie, but they are here now and safe – and it is my job as an Auror to make sure those who would put them in danger be put away, so -”

“No, not so – children, up to your rooms now.” Euphemia demanded, clicking her fingers towards the door and glaring as they began to move rather slowly. “Consider yourselves on very thin ice, I will not be asking twice.” Hermione and James gulped, moving their feet faster and urging their friends to follow after them.

…

The group hustled into James’ room, shutting the door behind them. It was basically the same as Hermione’s just everything the opposite way, the blue a bit dark and instead of books, there was more Gryffindor and Quidditch memorabilia – that and it was insanely clean like always, not a thing out of place and the bed made to perfection.

“I can’t believe – I didn’t want to think -” James cut himself off as he sank onto his bed, looking one second away from pulling the duvet over his face and telling them all to piss off.

“I think this means that you owe someone an apology and to never doubt them again.” She knew as she soon as she said it that she shouldn’t have, but a part of her couldn’t help the gloating right that she felt for the moment and the joy at the truth finally being revealed for everyone.

“Is this really the time, Mi’?” Sirius asked, silver eyes flashing to her face.

“Perhaps not but at least now you all know before it got worse.”

If only they knew what she had actually saved them from, how their fates were going to be different now because Peter’s betrayal was no longer a secret. How she had spent years wishing for this day, leaving crumbs for them to find only for them to be washed away in stupid loyalty and the wind.

Part of her mission was done now, she wanted to grin and make everybody celebrate but she doubted they would respond well to that. Perhaps she could get Marlene to celebrate with her later.

“Almost five years of friendship meant nothing to him.” The joy vanished in an instant and her nature to run and care for her brother overtook her. “Literally down the drain.” He was hurting, more than the other two, and he didn’t deserve that.

“Maybe – maybe he was threatened.” Marlene muttered as she watched with a frown as Hermione sat herself beside James, gripping his hand tightly and laying her head on his shoulder.

“Oh grow up Marlene!” Sirius exploded, picking up something from on of James’ shelves and throwing it into the corner of the room, the boys not even flinching as he did so. “He’s always been a snake in the grass, we just chose not to see it – should have known with his dad and -”

“How hypocritical of you, you and Hermione know first hand what it’s like to have family who aren’t the nicest of people – I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.” Marlene snapped, moving to pick up whatever he had thrown with a glare, stopping short as she picked it up and frowned.

It wasn’t hard to see what it was and Marlene’s hesitance, a photo of all four boys during their first summer together, all happy and smiling, when one wouldn’t think that Peter was going to join Voldemort.

“And what good is that going to do when he’s all ready fucked off to join the other side?”

“Nothing!” Marlene snapped, finally deciding to place the photo faced down on the desk, her head spinning to turn and sneer at Sirius. “But I thought for a few seconds it might make you all feel better.”

“Feel better -”

“We all know the truth, that Peter has never been nothing more than a creepy little rat after something better than anything you three could ever give him – but -”

“There is no but Hermione, I told you what I would do if he betrayed the people I care about.” His eyes were on her and her breath stopped for a second, her head lifting from James. There was something so beautifully tempting about the fury in those silver eyes.

“So what, are you going to somehow go all around Britain looking for him?” Hermione asked him breathlessly, ignoring the looks that Marlene and Remus both sent her way. She coughed and furrowed her eyebrows further.

“No, I’m going to wait until school and then I’m going to kill him.” Sirius spoke as if it was so simply, and maybe it was, but all she could see was the Sirius she had first met.

Thin, unkempt and rotted for Azkaban. Angry from the betrayal, the true betrayal that ended with the death of his friends and a baby with no parents – she could see glimpses of him now, betrayed by the fact that Peter had chosen his side, even if the rat boy hadn’t actually done anything that massive yet.

“And get yourself arrested?” Hermione whispered as he stared back at her, watching as she stood up from the bed and rolled her eyes. “How very smart of you, locked up before you even turn sixteen, I bet you’d be the youngest there.” Her words were taunting but he didn’t take the bait, not fully.

“What would you have us do Hermione?”

“I don’t know but I doubt killing an old friend is the answer.” She whispered the words, watching with wide eyes as Sirius scoffed and sat himself down on the floor, “When we get to school we can -”

“He’s not going to come back to school.” Marlene whispered and everyone turned to look at her as she frowned.

“He’s underage, Mar’, he has to -”

“If I was Peter and I learnt that my friends, my powerful rich friends, knew where my loyalties truly were then I would far too afraid to even face them, let alone share a dormitory and a school with them.” Marlene explained and Hermione couldn’t help but raise her eyebrows, especially as the next few words were uttered in a growl. “He won’t come back, not if he knows what’s good for him.”

It was all she could hope. There was one thing getting Peter caught and another trying to stop her friends from becoming murderers – or having to kill him herself in a secretive manner that would be far too dangerous and would require too much planning.

...

Wednesday the 27^th of August 1975

Nine days. Nine days with limited communication from the boys, like it was her fault that their friend was a complete idiot who joined the wrong side. Though in James defence, he didn’t seem to be talking to many people other than Sirius.

Merlin, she wished Marlene and Remus were still here but both had gone home for the final few days of the holiday (plus the moon last week). So instead she had been forced to sit by herself in the library and being ignored like she Moaning freaking Myrtle. It was why she still sat awake in the library despite the fact that James’ snores and her parents quiet mumbles could be heard throughout the house.

But it was Sirius’ annoyed and amused sigh in the doorway that had her looking up and away again.

“What are you doing in here?”

“Bored, I thought I’d grab a book to read.”

“Hm, we don’t keep centrefolds in here.” His tongue clicked in his mouth but she refused to look up as she scribbled something out onto her parchment about whatever she was reading. Honestly she couldn’t remember any more.

“Funny.” He spun on his heel and moved out of the door, a book in his hand and Hermione’s eyes piercing daggers into his back.

That was the longest conversation they had had since their argument, and he had walked away without so much as care. Her book slammed shut and the table moved as she pushed away and stormed down the hall and to the larger guest bedroom Sirius had taken reside in.

He jumped in shock as she slammed open the door and closed it forcefully, performing a quick muffliato behind her. “Did no one ever tell you it’s rude to walk away from a conversation?”

“You want to have a conversation about politeness when you just barged into my room” Sirius bit back, his eyes narrowing as he threw the book onto the bed, pulling his jumper off also as Hermione opened her mouth to protest and left to sigh as he made sure his t-shirt stayed in place.

“I wouldn’t have to have barged into your room if you hadn’t been ignoring your friends all week.” It seemed easier to label her as group, as though there had been more than herself her.

“I haven’t ignored James.”

Hermione scoffed, there would never be a day when that happened. “Of course not, because the pair of you can’t seem to manage two days without speaking to each other, obviously I wasn’t granted that luxury.” Her eyes narrowed as he grimaced at her.

“You don’t understand -”

“What it’s like to be betrayed by someone I thought I could trust, no of course not, though granted with Octans it was a little different – perhaps I understand now that my brother and his best friend seem to think I’m deserving of this treatment.” Her eyes stung, blinking to fight back the emotion that was forcing itself onto her at a very inconvenient time.

“Hermione -” Sirius began, his lips pursed. “Don’t come in here and pretend you’re annoyed because we needed time to process all the shit that just happened… you’re annoyed because of what I said and you can’t let it go.” He spoke as though it was the truth and she chose to ignore half of what he was saying to offer him a sweet smile.

“Understatement of the year.”

“But are you annoyed because I was right or because it was something that you didn’t want to hear?” He asked and her mouth opened before he took a step closer, an arrogant smirk on his face that she wanted to kis- no smack off.

“I could ask you the same thing.” She stated, rolling her eyes and poking a finger into his chest. “Are you annoyed at me because I called you out, because you hurt me or because I won’t let you run after Peter?” He winced and she smiled sweetly, expecting that he would leave it.

“You’ve always been a bit of a hypocrite when it comes to what you want to do versus everyone else.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know for a fact that nothing could stop you if Octans came out and was running around, that despite everything you told me, you would be out there doing your best to make him pay.” Hermione flinched as though she had been slapped. “Guess the same rules don’t apply when it comes to anyone else being hurt.” No, he was wrong. They did apply, he just didn’t understand.

“Just because I don’t want to see you arrested does not mean that I don’t understand where you are coming from.” She bit back, somehow they were closer than before, their feet nearly touching. “But sometimes we have to be logical -”

“My friend joined the very thing all of us have been talking about going against– I don’t care about being logical, Hermione, I just want to know why.” Her heart ached for him as he suddenly looked so young and vulnerable, innocent and hurt in a way that she had never seen him before.

Whatever Peter had or hadn’t done yet, wherever he was, he had done enough to leave the hurt behind in three young men who thought he was different, one of them. Their secrets and their choices were safe, but their hearts hadn’t been – it seemed Peter always left a trail of hurt behind no matter what.

“Sometimes we don’t get to know why, Sirius, and we’ve just got to deal with what we’ve been given.”

“Bit rich coming from you.” And just like that he was gone, replaced by the annoyed and patience testing Sirius that was frankly a second away from being slapped, but she wasn’t done trying for him just yet.

“I know I’m probably not the right person to talk to about this, but -”

“No, you’re right, you’re not the right person to talk to about this.”

“Then do you want me to leave you alone?” Her voice was harsher than she wanted it to be, but he didn’t even seem to care and she didn’t want to leave. Even if he told her to, she would stay, get to the bottom of whatever had them toe to toe at this moment.

“Does it even matter what I want?” Hermione opened her mouth to speak only to be cut off. “Because we all know all it takes is for you to click your fingers and everyone will fall onto their knees to do whatever you need to be done.” “It doesn’t matter if it hurts them, or if they have to risk everything for you because you don’t actually care so long as you get what you want.”

“You’re angry and you need someone to take it out on -”

“I’m angry at you, Hermione – I’m angry that despite everything I have just said, I don’t actually care how selfish you are.”

“Then why are you yelling at me at two in the morning?”

“Because I’m a dick, I always have been – and I’m lucky enough to be your friend with the amount of shit that comes out of my mouth and I’m sorry for what I said because any guy would be lucky to have you.” Despite his words, his tone was bitter. “And you deserve someone like Remus...who actually has a lot in common with you and would probably make you happy.”

“Is that what this is about?” She asked with a small smile on her face “Listen, I’m sure Remus is great but I don’t want Remus – I want…” Her eyes drifted over his and she was suddenly aware of how close they were, his nose was practically brushing hers and his silver eyes were hooded and intense, enough to make her stutter.

“What do you want?” The question rolled out of his mouth thickly and she couldn’t quite think of an answer, let alone even remember her own name with him standing this close.

“I don’t know.” She whispered, an alarm ringing in her head about how she should step away, force this back on him but she couldn’t quite move through the fog. “But you don’t either and that’s -”

In both her lives she had never imagined what Sirius’ lip would feel like, that was a lie – she had thought about it once or twice, but she was always sure that kissing wasn’t supposed to hurt or feel like he was pouring every inch of his anger into their kiss. And yet she couldn’t seem to find the will to care that her lips would be bruised tomorrow.

Especially not when he let out a moan as her hand slipped into his silky hair, and his hand grazed the skin between her top and trackies, seeming to set it aflame in the most delicious way and have her let out a moan that he took full advantage of by shoving his tongue in her mouth.

In the back of her mind she could vaguely remember the snogs other Hermione had had, sloppy and inexperienced – done simply because it was what couples did – but this was different. She should have known Sirius would hone his skill up to a level that no one else would be able to pass.

Her distracting thoughts broke as his hand moved a bit higher, pushing up the top and burning her skin all the same. More, her hormonal brain whispered in her ear, tempting her to see how far this could go and making her pull away from him all the same before she did something very stupid that would either end in regret or something else entirely.

His mouth opened, as her hands pushed his shoulders and her eyes closed to make sure he didn’t tempt her further. “You were right.”

“You stopped to tell me that?”

“I might not know what or perhaps, who, -” Liar, her brain hissed at her. “- I want, but I know enough that I am never going to be the type of girl to just fool around with someone without a guarantee of some kind of relationship.” His face settled in understanding and her stomach clenched as her brain continued to berate her for stopping this.

“So what you’re saying is -”

“There’s something between us, obviously, possibly attraction or hormones, but I can’t be willing to see where this goes without knowing that it can go further.” Hermione spoke softly, stepping away fully and looking at him from under her lashes as he nodded his head and sucked in a deep breath.

He contemplated for a moment, looking both settled and lost – like there was a war inside his head about which side to choose until he finally looked at her and spoke, even though she knew the answer that was coming. “I don’t want a relationship, at least not now, and maybe not ever but it’s not a choice I want to be making now.” She sometimes forgot how young they actually were, how much life had yet to throw at them.

Something shifted inside her, a strange feeling of disappointment and relief, though she understood why and offered him a small smile, moving to grip the door handle as he sat down on his bed, looking a little lost.

“We’re okay, right?”

“Of course.”

Chapter Text

Thursday the 28^th of August 1975

“Jesus fucking Christ!” Lily all but screamed, dropping the ice cream she had been enjoying and her bag full of snacks on the floor, as she exited the corner shop to see Hermione leaning against the wall, with a grin that was all to similar to her brothers on her face. “What – why?”

“Hello Lil -” Hermione spoke softly, scanning around the area with hard eyes despite the now soft smile on her face. “We need to talk.”

Lily loved her friends, she really did, and she was even getting on better with James and Sirius now days, though she wasn’t quite sure how well that would hold up when they got back to school and the pranks began again – still, while she loved them, she didn’t love the idea of them just turning up with their buckets of problems.

Not when she was planning on having a day where she sat in front of the telly eating foods that Hogwarts seriously lacked. Though it seemed duties of being a good friend called, and well...she owed Hermione after everything.

“I gathered that from you appearing out of nowhere.” Despite her thoughts, her voice remained dry and her eyes narrowed as Hermione moved to pick up her bag. “You could have just knocked on my door.” She added, snatching back the plastic.

“I did, your neighbour said she saw you go to the shop.” Hermione explained and Lily groaned, but she wasn’t about to ask how Hermione had even got her address when the girl was grinning impishly at her. “How else do you think I got here?”

“I – what happened and what are you wearing?” Lily sighed out, finally taking in Hermione’s appearance, looking like some small model from one of Petunia’s magazines, with her flared jeans and peasant blouse that showed just enough to be classy and alluring, not add the half up/half down hair that seemed much straighter than usual.

“I didn’t know how safe your area was, better to be prepared in case people are watching.” Lily shifted uncomfortably and began moving away from the shop. She didn’t need to be reminded which people.

“Considering your clothes probably cost more than certain cars in this area, I think it’s safe to say people have already noticed you.” She didn’t need to add the pretty factor, Hermione’s soft features and wide eyes did that for her, especially as blush flooded her cheeks. “So why are you here and trying to give me a heart attack?”

Hermione grimaced and Lily frowned. “I needed to talk to you about something.”

“Yes, you said that.”

“It’s a bit more girly than I’m used to.”

“And if you didn’t want to talk to Marlene then it must be serious.” Lily joked but her eyes widened as Hermione flinched noticeably at one word. “Oh my God.”

“Lily…”

“Come on, we can speak at mine, my mum and dad are out for the afternoon.”

…

Lily had never been embarrassed of her house, her parents had worked hard to get to where they were and offered both their daughters as good of a life as they could, but leading Hermione through the beautiful but small garden and into the house she suddenly felt rather unsure.

Not that she thought Hermione would say anything, she had never been the type to try and make her friends feel less, but throughout all her trauma and life, the one thing Hermione had never had to think about was money and it was obvious in the way she dressed, her house and her life. Though she never bragged, it was a presence that surrounded both Potter’s and Sirius.

They were all supported for life, through their school and whatever they had to do afterwards and Lily...well she wasn’t poor, it wasn’t like her family didn’t struggle at times with her school fees, but there would be nothing for her after school, she knew that much.

“It’s always weird to see pictures that don’t move.” Hermione commented as gestured to the ones hanging on the wall opposite the stairs, peaking her head into the living room. “Your house is lovely.”

Lily opened her mouth to respond, but the quick witted comment died on her tongue as she watched the quick flash of slight sadness flash over her friends face before it was replaced with a sincere smile. It didn’t make sense but Lily didn’t push, Hermione wasn’t the most emotional person she knew and most things about her didn’t make all that much sense.

Instead she offered a half shouldered shrug and led them to the second floor, past the bathroom at the top of the stairs and into the small room at the back.

It had been something she hadn’t been against once she went to Hogwarts, since most of her time was spent away and she only returned for a few weeks at a time, but now she felt more nervous and apparently for no reason as Hermione strolled right in and sat on her bed without even a complaint or a second glance.

“What?” Hermione asked suddenly as Lily let out a little giggle.

Hermione Potter sat in her small childhood bedroom, with Muggle posters on the wall, floral pattern everywhere and looking so out of place that Lily couldn’t even have dreamt this up. She snorted again and shook her head. “No...nothing.”

Hermione’s eyes narrowed but she shrugged her shoulders, taking the ice lolly that Lily offered her carefully, her eyes scanning the flavoured ice and sprinkles with wide eyes, turning to Lily. “What is this?”

“A Lolly Gobble Choco Bomb.” Lily explained with a cheeky grin as Hermione frowned, mouthing the words and looking far too posh to even put the ice in her mouth, Lily’s grin old widening when Hermione took a tentative bite and grinned herself. “Good?”

“Yes, thank you.” She took another bite, frowning as a few hundreds and thousands fell onto her shirt before she turned to Lily with a serious face. “Do you think we can take these to Hogwarts with us?” Lily couldn’t help the snort that left her mouth.

“They’d probably melt and magic makes things taste weird sometimes.” She explained as Hermione pouted. “Now...are you going to tell me why you travelled all the way from posh Godric’s Hollow to my humble Spinners end?”

Hermione put the lolly in her mouth and shrugged her shoulders, frowning when Lily reached to pull it out of her mouth. “Can’t I just come and see you?”

“Considering we go back to school in a couple of days, no.” Hermione’s face turned affronted as she reached for the lolly only for it to be pulled back. “Now confess or you’re not getting this back.” She waved the treat around and grinned evilly.

“Me and Sirius kissed.”

Whatever she had been expecting, it wasn’t that. She could vaguely feel the lolly being pulled from her hand, could see Hermione sat calmly in front of her but couldn’t quite register what the fuck was going on right now.

It was obvious to anyone who had eyes or ears that Sirius had a thing for Hermione, and that was putting it lightly – it was less obvious, but still as clear as day for Lily, that Hermione was crushing after Sirius also, despite how much she would deny it. Yet the pair of them, despite their actual intelligence, seemed to not know or understand – which was why them kissing had shocked Lily beyond belief.

“Last night or really this morning.” Hermione added as Lily blinked at her.

“Wait – what – I don’t...what happened?”

“He was yelling at me.”

“Wait – yelling?”

“Yeah he was angry about Peter.”

“So he was yelling at you?” Lily asked with a frown, feeling more confused than she did a couple of minutes ago because none of this was making sense. How did two people go from yelling to kissing? It sounded like one of the angst ridden chapters of her mothers books.

“Actually he was calling me out on things – it doesn’t matter – and then he kissed me or I kissed him.” Hermione spoke softly, shifting in her seat a bit and bowing her head that was not her at all. Hermione was confidence and now she was acting shy and unsure.

“How passionate.” Lily remarked dryly as Hermione looked up with a frown. “And here I thought you’d finally have some romantic moment and have some sweet peck or something.” She could have pictured it in her head, when they moved past the problems and James gave them his blessings but she should have known better.

“No it was a lot more aggressive than that.”

“Right...so you kissed and then what happened?” Lily asked, a bit too eager, sounding much like Emmeline and Jenny did when the gossiped about everything and anything.

“We decided not to do anything about it and I went to bed.” What the fuck?

“You...you went to bed.” Lily said slowly as Hermione took a bite of her lolly, shrugging her shoulders and flicking her hair over her shoulder. “And this morning, did you speak to him?” There she was again sounding eager.

“We exchanged pleasantries.”

“Pleasantries? What is this the 1800’s?” Lily snorted out, a grin on her face despite the conversation but it dropped suddenly as she recalled something else and turned to look at Hermione with dead eyes. “What do you mean you decided not to do anything about it?” That was not how she would have seen it going.

“I want a relationship with someone and he doesn’t want one at all.” Hermione said it so simply that Lily almost left it there but something irked her.

“Yet considering you are here and needing to talk, I’m guessing that you aren’t all together happy with this choice.” Although Lily said it like a statement, she made sure to keep her tone far from it, watching as she ate her only lolly as Hermione let out a sigh.

“I don’t know what to feel.” The truth seemed to settle between both of them. “I don’t even know if I like him emotionally or if I’m just succumbing to my hormones wanting the pretty boy.” Lily watched with a frown as Hermione let out a sigh and fell back onto the bed.

She let out a sigh as she grabbed the finished lollies and tossed them into the bin by her desk before laying beside Hermione and staring at the ceiling above their heads. “There’s nothing wrong with being attracted to him, he is a pretty boy -” The corner of Hermione’s mouth turned up. “- but it’s good to know what you want, and if you want to change your mind and give in to those carnal instincts then I doubt Sirius would mind.” Hermione chuckled and nodded her head.

“And what if it ruins our friendship?” Her friend asked suddenly, brown eyes wide and full of uncertain emotion that made Lily feel sorry for her.

“As long as it’s what you want then it won’t but at least you can say you tried instead of saying what if.”

“You’re wise beyond your years, Lil’.”

“It’s a gift and a curse.” She spoke solemnly as Hermione chuckled and all traces of the uncertainty gone into thin air, and despite the giggling and chatting, Lily couldn’t help but think on her own words and how it applied to her.

Dating had never been forefront of her mind but she had done it, had kissed a couple of frogs and had the rest scared off by James, but there had never really been any boy that made her crave more – that made her want to throw all sense out of the window and go against the plan she had set for herself.

A voice whispered in her ear, faint and not unfamiliar, reminding her of someone who she wanted to ignore wanting anything to do with. Who had made her stomach and teeth clench at the same time. She refused to give in, pushing it away and trying to tune back in to what Hermione was chattering on about.

“LILY!” The door swung open, with shrill shriek of her long necked sister, her wide pale eyes in her horsy face staring at Hermione in a way that made Lily nervous about what was going to come out of that thin mouth. “What is happening in here?”

“Good afternoon Petunia, I trust Vernon is well – this is my friend Hermione.” Lily spoke tensely, sitting herself up as Hermione followed suit, holding out her hand for Petunia to take

“You let another one of your freaks in our house?” Petunia asked in disgust, eyeing Hermione’s pale dainty hand like it was covered in every disease known to me. “You know Vernon is coming for dinner this evening – how could you do that to me?!” She turned to Lily, baring her large teeth.

“She didn’t know I was coming, though her surprise reaction was much more pleasant than your own.” Hermione spoke slowly, standing up and staring at Petunia in a way that must have unnerved her sister if her gulp was anything to go by.

“So you invite yourself over.” Hermione shrugged her shoulders as Lily climbed off the bed. “So not only are you freaks but also impolite ones.”

“Whatever floats your broom.” Whatever Petunia had been hoping for, it clearly wasn’t that and Lily couldn’t help the smile.

Her sister was used to their arguments, of Lily pleading again and again to leave things be and let things go back to what they were and Petunia insisting at every turn that Lily was nothing more than an unwanted freak in her life – which often lead to loud arguments and threats from both their sides, until Lily backed down and apologised.

She missed her sister sometimes, though those days were becoming few and far between, she missed the girl that was there before the magic and jealously got in the way. And sometimes she liked to think that Petunia missed her too.

“I -” Petunia stumbled, looking a second away from stomping her feet like a five year only to grin as the sound of her parents car parking up was heard, followed by their voices. “MUM! DAD! LILY HAS A FREA – FRIEND OVER!” She left the room in her haste to get Lily in trouble, leaving the two friends staring after her.

“Your sister seems nice.”

…

Lily hadn’t known what to expect when her parents entered the house, but it was as sure as shit that she didn’t think they would have so eagerly invited Hermione to stay for dinner.

It wasn’t that they didn’t know Hermione, they had met at Kings Cross a couple of times and Lily had told them things, but it was just that, outside Severus – Lily had never really had that many friends and certainly none that came to her house. It had always just been Sev.

And let’s just say that Sev had not made a good impression with her parents after he spent the evening all but criticising Muggles, and trying to explain in his own eleven year old way how Wizards were better. Well, that and annoying Petunia to no end.

Yet, here she was, sat in her usual seat with Hermione beside her and her parents looking so happy to finally have someone other than Vernon around. And they made that point rather clear. “It’s so nice to have one of Lily’s friends over for dinner, and we’ve heard so much about you Hermione.”

“Oh well, thank you, I’m honoured to be invited and I’m sorry I turned up unexpectedly.” Lily could have rolled her eyes at the polite posh tone her friend was using, but it made her mother grin so she kept it to herself and focused on her food.

“Nonsense, you are welcome anytime – I just wonder – I mean how did you get here from London?” Her mother asked slowly, sending a quick look to Vernon as Hermione tilted her head.

“London?”

“Actually, mum, Hermione and her family live more west, just on the outskirts of a village called Godric’s Hollow.” Lily explained, swallowing her food as Hermione nodded her head in agreement.

Lily’s mother grimaced and ran a hand through her blond hair, emerald eyes full of confusion as she turned to offer Hermione an apologetic smile and a pat on the hand. “I just assumed because of the accent.”

“My accent?” Hermione turned her wide eyes onto Lily who tried not laugh around her food. “Do I sound like a Londoner?” Her words were whispered, but there was hint of amusement in her eyes as Lily did her best not to point out that Hermione was actually born in London.

“No you sound posh, both you and your brother do.” Lily joked as Hermione frowned, though they were nowhere near as posh as they once were. “It’s only natural though considering your parents and the fact that you had a Governess growing up.” Lily raised her nose in the air and grinned as Hermione elbowed her side.

“Governess?” Lily’s father asked with furrowed brows as Hermione blushed and looked down at her food while Lily chuckled beside her.

“My family can be very traditional, in a sense, and in our -” She stopped herself slowly, turning to send the scowling Vernon across from her a quick look, her parents nodded in understanding. “- community, we tend to stick with home schooling and if you can afford it – a governess or private teacher.” Hermione shifted uncomfortably but her parents actually looked understanding.

“What community are you part of? Are you one of those gypsies?” Vernon asked loudly, his hand slamming down on the table and his small eyes narrowing on Hermione as his smaller average neck wobbled below his chin.

But Lily wasn’t focused on the stupid man but instead her friend who was doing a very good job at hiding her annoyance and anger behind a facade of calm and it seemed to unnerve Dursley the longer it went on, with everyone staring between the two and waiting for something to happen.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing, Vernon.” Hermione spoke dryly as she picked up her fork and took a bite of her food. “Though I am not, we share some of the same values – privacy, family and tradition – so you can imagine how I would feel slightly offended to hear you speak about them with such contempt.” She said it so softly and calmly that it seemed to take a while for Vernon to actually understand what she was saying.

“But you’re friends with Lily!” Petunia cried out, a large grin on her face as she pointed at Hermione over the table.

“Well yes, but that’s because she’s stupidly rich and buys me things.” Lily joked as Hermione rolled her eyes and her mouth twitched slightly before Lily turned to face her sister. “Oh no wait, that’s you.” Petunia spluttered and Vernon turned even more purple.

“Lily.” Her father warned her sternly, as he turned to face his eldest daughters boyfriend with a sigh and a tense smile. “How is work going, Vernon?”

The beady eyed bastard turned to look at Hermione and Lily, an uppity expression on his face followed by a self satisfied smirk. “It’s going great – I mean to be Junior Executive in a high paying company in London – well I couldn’t ask for any more, other than a pay rise to top it off.” However he thought Hermione would respond, it clearly wasn’t to carry on eating her food and looking uninterested.

“That’s -”

“And of course, one day I will take over my fathers place at Grunnings, a big drill company in Surrey – where me and Petunia can raise a well off happy family.” Lily choked on her water, her parents grimaced and Hermione snorted under her breath but Vernon was too busy grinning at himself to notice. “And what of you?”

Hermione coughed and offered a slight grimace as she turned to look at Lily. The truth was that apart from joining the Aurors like James, Sirius and Marlene – the group and a few of the people in their year weren’t actually sure what they wanted to do other than fight for what the believed in.

Vernon, however, would not understand if they told him their plan was to finish school and help try to bring down a dark Wizard, if it wasn’t done by then, and then perhaps think about what they wanted to do with their lives.

Instead Lily offered a half smile. “That’s something we will be discussing this year in school with the head, so we can see what subjects and exams we need to take the following year for certain jobs.” Vernon scowled at her like he didn’t understand, waving his meaty hand around in the air.

“That’s all pish-posh, getting a job is based on who you know.”

“Are you offering us jobs, Vernon?” Lily asked with a grin, the man spluttering over his food and pursing his lips. “Because I’m afraid we will have to decline as Petunia’s desk job is far too dull for someone like me – I’d prefer something with a little more magic.” Petunia all but squealed and her parents let out heaving sighs.

“Lily -”

“You can have your – your ma – magic -”

“Don’t hurt yourself Tuney.”

“- but you are unprepared for the real world, where desk jobs are just the filler until marriage and staying home to look after your children.” Petunia turned up her nose and Lily rolled her eyes and sent a look to Hermione who seemed slightly amused. “Not that you two will have to worry about that, no boy would want a couple of freaks!”

“Petunia!” Her mother cried but Lily sighed and pushed her plate away.

“Exactly, no boy would, but don’t worry, there are plenty of men fighting for our attention.” Hermione spoke casually, running her tongue over her teeth and grinning wolfishly, sending a wink to Petunia for good measure as the older girl turned red in the face and pursed her lips like she had swallowed something nasty.

“So sinful freaks then.”

“We would rather be sinful that locked in some house, playing housewife to some idiot who’s never going to be happy in his life.” Lily finally snapped, standing up and placing her hands on the table as she glared down at her sister. “But if that’s your dream then who am I to knock it, so long as you don’t come knocking on my door ten years down the line unhappy.” The words spat out of her like venom and made Petunia flinch.

“I can assure you that I will never coming looking to you or your friend for anything of the sort.” Petunia copied her sisters stance, her horsy face even closer now.

“Girls, that is enough – we have guests here.” Their father spoke calmly, but Lily could here the annoyance in his voice, the embarrassment that came with having two daughters constantly at each others throats.

“You think you’re so much better because of what you can do and who your friends are but you’re nothing but a freak who tries to ruin my life at every turn.” Petunia didn’t back down though, she never did quite known when it was her time to shut her mouth and stop spouting her opinions.

“And you’re nothing but a petty girl who is jealous of what I can do.”

“Maybe we should go outside and cool off a bit, Lil’, before someone says something they regret.” Hermione spoke lowly, her hand on Lily’s arm but her eyes dead set on Petunia.

The threat was clear. Hermione had always been very good at that, careful with her words but making her intentions known for certain people, and most listened because they knew what she could do with a flick of her wand but others, like Petunia, seemed to take it as a nudge to fight back. “Maybe they should just go somewhere else – back to her friends freak house and leave us alone.”

“Petunia – that is enough.” Their father barked as Hermione leaned back in her chair and raised an eyebrow, even as Petunia’s scared pale eyes flashed away.

“No, dad, she’s right – it’s not like I want to be staying here with either of them.” Lily spoke sweetly, pointing at both the idiots across from her. “I’ll stay with the Potters for a couple of days and come back Sunday morning when she’s gone so we can spend my last day before school together.” She turned to look at her father who let out a sigh.

Her parents pursed their lips before Mrs Evans turned to look at Hermione with a sad smile. “That might be a better idea, will your parents mind?”

“Oh no, not at all, they’ll be happy to have another spare room in the manor filled up for a couple of days.” If she wasn’t so pissed off then she would have laughed at the way Vernon’s head snapped up at the mention at manor, his mouth twisting into a sneer.

“It’s very appreciated, and tell your parents we say thank you and sorry, that our eldest daughter has such a lack of manners that she has run her sister out of her own house.” Lily’s mother said, sending an agitated look to Petunia who climbed even further on her high horse.

“I -”

“I want to hear no more from you Petunia unless it is an apology to Hermione and Lily.”

“Don’t bother, Petunia.” Lily said with a laugh.

“It’s really not a problem, you can’t make people do what they want to do, and she is welcome to her opinions.”Even if they are idiotic, Lily could almost see Hermione adding. “Thank you for dinner, Mr and Mrs Evans, it was beautiful and if I don’t see you on Sunday then I’m sure I will see on Monday for the train.”

Lily was sure they would, that her parents would be more than happy to see her polite friend on Monday, that she would be receiving letters about when her friend would next be coming to see them.

“Perhaps Petunia will have thought about her errors by then and will be waiting with an apology.” Her father spoke, clasping his hands and sending a pointed look Petunia’s way.

“It’s good to keep dreaming, dad.”

Chapter Text

She wore a thousand faces all to hide her own - Atticus.

Monday the 1^st of September 1975

“You asked to see me, Headmaster?” Once again she stood in the circular office, looking at the twinkling eyed man behind his desk as he wrote on a parchment and offered her kind smile. Yet she couldn’t help but feeling as though she was walking into some kind of trap.

“That I did, take a seat, Miss Potter.” He gestured to the chair before his desk and placed his parchment to the side. “How was the welcoming feast?” Her brow furrowed as he began the small talk that would no doubt lead to whatever it was he had called her up here for.

“Pleasant enough.”

“I trust your brother and his friends will be up to their usual shenanigans.” She offered him a tense smile and shrugged her shoulders.

“I’m sure Lily will try and put a stop to it.” Her eyes watched him for a second as he shifted slightly in his seat. “She is rather eager to start on her responsibilities.” If judging by the way she had rounded up the first years and ran towards the stairs without even waiting for Remus was an indication.

“I suppose you are curious as to why I did not make you Prefect?”

“I was surprised at first, my marks are the same, if not higher than Lily’s, but I do not envy her.” Hermione answered softly, truthfully as she met his eyes. She’d wished for it once but now not so much.

“I did think about you, in the beginning, but it seems to me that you have far too much to worry about and I did not want to be adding to that.” Dumbledore spoke as though he was explaining something to a child, condescending and clearly he expected her to deal in a different manner.

A small smile made it’s way onto her face as she thought about the other life. Hermione Granger had managed, though she became frazzled at the end, to focus on her O.W.Ls, on Voldemort being back and helping train a bunch of underage Witches and Wizards in secret all while her best friend kind of lost his mind.

“I would have managed.”

“You would have shirked your duties if there was an opportunity to find your father or follow your mission.” She couldn’t deny that, as much as she wanted to, but it still annoyed to be called out on it nonetheless.

“In all fairness, Sir, I think saving the world and killing Voldemort is more important than patrolling the halls in search of first years trying to find the kitchen or sixth years doing something inappropriate.” Hermione spoke back dryly as Dumbledore sent her a slight amused look.

“Your father was a Prefect.” Somehow she didn’t think he was talking about Fleamont and her mouth opened to remind him that the other guy was not her father but she snapped it shut as he stood up from his desk. “It was a mistake on Professor Dippet’s part -”

“All Slytherin Prefects have been mistakes.” Hermione mumbled under her breath as Dumbledore moved to look at one of the many shelves of trinkets and books.

“- he, much like yourself, lacked patience and the ability to follow simple instructions – it was thought that giving him a sense of responsibility would help guide him.” He turned to look over his shoulder at Hermione, where she still sat down, his eyes burning into her and his words twisting in her chest.

“Giving people even a small fraction of the power they want only causes problems in the long run.” Hermione remarked dryly, turning her head back to look at her hands and frown at the painful memories. “After that he only wanted more – so much more that he joined Voldemort and killed my mother.” With that she turned to send him a glare as he moved back to his desk.

“While I doubt him being Prefect started that journey, it might have had some repercussions.” Dumbledore spoke wisely, staring over his half moon spectacles as he sat down again.

“Might have?” Hermione asked with a small laugh. “And Tom Riddle, did you forget what happened when he was given the same thing? His small semblance of power turned into him becoming a purposefully torn murderous wizard who can not be stopped.” She all but shoved into his face before sneering at him. “And how many others can we add on to that list?”

“Miss Potter -”

“Perhaps you need to choose your Slytherin Prefects more wisely, Professor.” Her voice was cold as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Maybe giving people who value power makes people like you the catalyst in their actions.” It was a slight low blow, she knew that, but she couldn’t quite find it in her to care.

“You can not blame one person for the choices of others.” And yet he looked at though he understood, as if he knew he played a part in pushing so many Wizards down the wrong path – like he knew he played them all like pawns in his own version of chess.

“I can if that person is the reason for everything going wrong.” Hermione snapped, glaring at him as she stood up from her chair, the chair tumbling loudly to the ground behind her. “Whether that is Voldemort, my father or even Peter -”

“This...this is why I did not allow you to become a Prefect, you lack the correct attitude and ability to think clearly in your anger.” Dumbledore spoke back, as calm as ever, infuriating Hermione more. “Peter is a nothing more than a confused child without a clue of what he would have done in the future.” Was he being serious?

Hermione couldn’t help but stare at the old man, someone another version of her had perhaps admired, but now all she could see was the most questionable man she knew. Every choice he made, every word that came out of his mouth was thought through – he gave answers when he deemed important, he pushed for paths he thought would be better.

And despite her warning him, despite the future being in her head for a decade – he had yet to act on it. And she could understand them buying time, waiting until the right moment but what she couldn’t understand was the confusion he had of Peter.

“He is following a father who has always held an interest in darker subjects and who has been fired for several misconducts, tell me Miss Potter, what has he actually done as of yet?" He was still speaking, staring at her with those eyes that she could almost feel reaching into her darkest memories and pulling them forth.

"Does it matter when he won't do it now, when he made a choice, and he chose wrong and evil."

"What fifteen year old boy can truly be evil?"

"Did you think that of Tom Riddle, sir?" Hermione asked, a jolt of pleasure going through her brain when Dumbledore flinched. "Do you need to be reminded of what he did at that age, of the student who died?" He stared at her wordlessly and Hermione couldn’t help the anger that had begun to bubble over.

"Miss Potter…"

"It doesn't matter if Peter will never commit the atrocities he might have done, but he would have if given the same choice - it shows that with me being here or not, he has always been attracted to the dark arts, that he would willingly kill his friends for it or abandon them for what he deems better." Hermione snapped, pointing a finger on the desk and glaring at the man. "You can not tell me they are the actions of a boy who is scared and unsure, he knows what he is doing and he doesn't care."

"One could say the same about you, Miss Potter."

"I am nothing like Peter."

"A father having chosen the wrong path, an attraction to power and darker magic, a fight against morals." Hermione wanted to shout, tell him that made no difference. "You may think you are doing right, but tell me that you wouldn't do anything possible to save your own even if it meant sacrificing everyone else?"

"Wanting to save ones family and ones self are completely different." Hermione ground out but Dumbledore just smiled, self-satisfied with whatever ammunition she had just given him.

"Or are they the same selfish gesture." No they’re not, her mind screamed at her. "Their lives are more important than yours, at the great expense of many others if needs be and Peters is more important for him." Whatever connection he could see between her and Peter was thin and watery at best but he looked like he had one.

“I’m not that selfish, Sir, that I would knowingly risk and hurt other people to save my family.” Hermione said through gritted teeth, even if she knew it was a lie.

"Not yet anyway, war does terrible things to us all - some of us would even betray our own to pursue what is more important, like revenge or a petty goal." He stared at her as though he was making some kind of point – one she knew was hinted towards Octans.

"The greater good." She whispered under her breath before turning furious eyes onto the Headmaster.."I suppose your own goal for revenge after Ariana’s death and Grindelwald was not consider petty then." His eyes flashed dangerously at her as he stood up from behind his desk.

“You are stepping over the line, Miss Potter.”

“So are you by keeping me from doing what I have to do to end this war.” Hermione snapped back, straightening up her body and staring at him coldly. “Make no mistake, Sir, I won’t be put off for much longer and if I have to go at it alone then I will.” His mouth tensed and his hands gripped his desk.

“You always were a rude, insolent little child.” Her mouth opened to fight when she realised it hadn’t come from Dumbledore but instead one of his paintings on the wall, one she knew better than most. “And to think you carry the Black blood inside, my Ursula would have been so disappointed.”

“I imagine she would have been considering she was married to you, Grandfather.” She hadn’t seen his painting since the last time she entered Grimmauld Place which was probably a decade ago, but she could remember every taunting remark like it was yesterday.

“What shame you bring to the Ancient and Noble house of Black, how you disgrace our name with your lack of respect – I curse the day my granddaughter decided to marry that Potter boy…” Hermione waved her wand at Phineas’ face, watching with a smirk as his mouth opened and no sound came out.

“I guess it’s a good thing, Grandfather, that I am not a Black and instead a Potter – perhaps you should tell Grandmother Ursula that the next time you go to Grimmauld Place.” Her head tilted sideways as she turned back to face Dumbledore. “He never does quite know when to shut his mouth, Sir, I feel I should warn you of that.”

“Thank you.” His words were tight and his expression annoyed.

“I will be heading to bed now, it has been a long day and I grow tired of these useless conversations.”

“Miss Potter…”

“Have a good evening, Sir.” Hermione spoke, bowing her head slightly before turning on her heels, her school robe swishing around her feet as she headed towards the exit, the sound of something cracking with every step.

...

“Hey!” Lily called as Hermione exited the bottom of the headmasters office, her emerald eyes wary but a grin on her face as she linked her arm with Hermiones.

“Hi, what are you doing here? I thought you had firsties to show around?” Hermione asked as they started walking away and back to their Common Room, a few students lingering around and making small talk before they were sent to bed for the evening.

“All done and settled and they seem to be getting louder and smaller with every year, apart from this one kid who I swear was taller than me and about twenty.” Lily gestured, shaking her head. Hermione let out a laugh, some of her anger seeming to be left behind in the office she had come to despise. “So what did Dumbledore want?”

“To talk about why I didn’t get Prefect, only it seemed to become more about my father and Peter – not to mention the brief I just had with good old Phineas Nigellus.” Hermione rolled her eyes and Lily nodded her head.

They had spoken about it the night Lily received her badge, and Hermione had been honest in her slight surprise and happiness for Lily. This was her best friends time to shine and Hermione wasn’t upset about that in the slightest.

“Who’s Phineas Nigellus?”

“My great-great-grandfather.” Lily blinked as Sirius appeared from nowhere, with Remus by his side as they turned the corner. “Founder of all alive Black’s today – why are you speaking about him?” He frowned and looked between the two girls.

“Hermione just had a chat with him.” Lily explained.

“Oh, bet he had some lovely things to say – I personally enjoy being a ‘dratted mongrel whore bastard who will run the house of Black into the ground’.” Sirius spoke with a grin as Remus rolled his eyes and Lily looked offended on behalf of him.

“That’s much better than ‘rude and insolent’, along with what a shame I am.” Hermione sighed dramatically. “At least now he won’t be able to talk for a while.” She grinned impishly at Sirius who wrapped his arm around her shoulder and placed a kiss on her forehead.

Though, since their last conversation, they seemed to have been doing better – Hermione couldn’t help but blush at every little moment that they had together and Sirius seemed to spend his time with his arm over her shoulder or sat as close as he could to her. A weird level between friends and more that neither wanted to think too much about.

Unfortunately for them, it seemed people like Lily were more than happy to read into the situation if the raised eyebrows and bemused smile was anything to go by.

“So Prefects, you on patrol tonight?” Sirius asked, sending a quick look over his shoulder and pulling his arm back once he saw Lily. “And does this mean I no longer have to worry about detention.”

“Of course you do, we aren’t that close.” There was something in Lily’s voice that made Sirius frown, like some kind of warning that had him stepping an inch away from Hermione and placing more space between them.

“I’m willing to negotiate.” And yet he never missed a beat, offering a dazzling grin to the redhead who didn’t seem all that phased.

What a lucky girl her friend was, to not be phased by Sirius Blacks’ face. Hermione wished she could do the same, that her eyes would stay glued on his own instead of drifting down to his lips and wishing she could kiss him all over again. But alas, it seemed that her mind was torturing her by playing the same scene again and again in her, making her body feel as though it was being burned.

“What do you have to offer me?” Lily spoke loudly and Hermione felt the blush work it’s way to her cheeks as she was sent a look by Lily. Stupid teenage hormones.

“Not you, but I have a good amount of money and I am willing to buy Moony all the chocolate he wants.” Sirius spoke with a grin, turning to his friend who suddenly looked interested in the conversation instead of glaring at the ground.

“You are so easily tempted, Remus.”

“Now Evans, if I manage to keep James away from you -”

“Then I’ll owe you forever but we both know that will be impossible.” Lily sighed out, running a hand through her hair and letting her lips turn into a little smile, before she looked between the boys and frowned. “And where is Potter?”

“And Marlene?” Hermione spoke suddenly, turning to Sirius who watched her with wide eyes. “Have you ever noticed how they seem to be both missing at the same time – almost makes you think something is going on.” Her head tilted to the side as he gulped and sent a quick look to Hermione, eyes full of panic.

They are stayed there for a second, frowning when a couple moans could be heard, followed by someone swearing – someone that sounded very familiar and had Hermione and Lily swinging their heads towards the door.

“Is that -?” Hermione didn’t get to finish her thoughts as the sides of her face were grabbed and Sirius’ lips were on hers, a choked gasp coming from Remus and a whispered ‘For fucks sake’ from Lily.

She wanted to ask what was happening but her mind couldn’t quite remember the reason he was kissing her in the place, and judging by Sirius’ hand snaking into the back of her hair and the moan he let out, he couldn’t even remember what had made him do it either.

It was only when they heard a cough that they both pulled apart, confusion on their faces as they tried to remember they were all but groping each other in front of their friends that looked like they wished they could be anywhere else but had stayed, for a reason Hermione couldn’t even think of unless they were secret voyeurs.

“Erm guys…” Remus stop hesitantly but Hermione was now back focusing on Sirius with narrowed eyes, his chest heaving slightly and his pupils making his eyes almost completely black.

“I – were you trying to distract me from something?” She wasn’t offended, not really – trust Sirius to use his very talented mouth to distract a girl only to get caught up in it and forget what he was actually trying to do.

“No?”

“Guys…” Remus tried again as Hermione looked up amused at Sirius, his own cheeky grin only his face as he opened his mouth to say something only for someone to speak before he could.

“What the fuck.” Their heads snapped around to see James coming out of a broom cupboard, his uniform dishevelled and his hair messier than normal as both of his hands rested on the doorway and his eyes glared behind the tilted glasses.

“James?” Hermione asked with a frown, taking a slight step away from Sirius who seemed to have the same thought. “What were you doing – who the fuck is in there with you?” Pieces began to click together and guilt spread over her brothers face before he frowned at her and turned his eyes onto Sirius.

“You kiss my sister – I’m going to kill you.” Hermione rolled her eyes and moved her way forward, pushing her brother back into the cupboard, his girlish yell almost making her laugh.

The girl stood in the corner, her head bent and her shirt not fully buttoned but Hermione would recognise her anywhere. “Marlene.”

…

Hermione paced the length of the room, glaring between Marlene and James who sat at the foot of his bed, Remus and Lily watching the whole thing with wide unsure eyes and Sirius sat on his own bed behind her, his head in his hands.

“So let me get this straight – you two have been...doing things together for a year -” She pointed between Marlene and James before turning to look between Remus and Sirius. “ - you two have known all about this while Lily and me were kept in the dark, sound about right?” She asked with a sweet smile that didn’t match her tone.

“Mi’, I would just like to say that -”

“Shut up, Sirius!” The Potter siblings shouted together as Sirius hung his head while Hermione and James glared at each other, James finally standing up.

“Well what do you have to say?” Hermione asked after a second, her hands on her hips and her curls practically hissing like medusa, her foot tapping against the floor as James stared at her open mouthed, a scoff leaving his throat.

“That it’s very hypocritical considering you were just kissing my best mate.” He gestured towards Sirius who was still refusing to look up. “I mean come on, Hermione, why would you even go there?” He whined, stomping his foot like a child as a hurt look crossed Sirius’ face and Hermione rolled her eyes.

“He’s a good kisser, you can’t blame me for wanting to give it a second try.” She knew she was playing with fire but it couldn’t be helped when James’ eyes all but bugged out of his head and his brain seemed to short-circuit.

“A second – you’ve kissed him before?!” He shouted in her face, making her feel glad that they hadn’t decided to do this in the Common Room. There was already enough rumours about them, they didn’t need to give a free show too. “You kissed my sister before?”

“No, your house-elf.” Sirius bit back dryly as James took a step towards his best friend, Hermione throwing her arms out to stop him coming any closer. “Of course your sister, you moron.” Her body tensed as he pressed half against her back glare at James.

“I am going to beat your face until it’s no longer pretty nor tempting to Hermione.” James hissed as Hermione pushed him away, her hand resting on his chest and her eyes narrowed at her brother.

“You’re words make me feel so warm inside.”

“Both of you sit the fuck down.” Hermione snapped, pushing James away and turning her head to glare at Sirius as he huffed out a breath and sat back on his bed. “You have no right to even be annoyed about a couple of kisses between Sirius and I, when you two have been lying about your relationship for a year.” Hermione gestured between James and Marlene who had the decency to look slightly ashamed.

“I don’t think it’s a ‘relationship’, just mutual friends doing the beast with two backs, if that helps.” Sirius threw in helpfully, raising his eyebrows. “No? Sorry.” He didn’t sound sorry and James looked a second away from whipping something in the boys face.

“Pads...just stop talking.” Remus whispered to his friend, though him and Lily looked far too entertained by the whole situation.

“Maybe we should just all calm down and give James and Marlene a chance to explain why they felt like lying about what they were doing was the best call.” Lily added, sending a glare to the couple.

“It has nothing to do with you – I don’t even understand why you are even here.” Marlene snapped, her face bright red and her hands clenched tightly as James stared at Lily with what could only be a look of longing and guilt.

“Don’t be a bitch, McKinnon – Evans is more than welcome to be here.” Sirius defended Lily to the surprise of everyone, even Lily who smiled to herself and bent her head.

“Oh are you planning on shoving your tongue down her throat too?”

“Jesus Christ – this whole situation is like dealing with two year olds.” Lily jumped up from the bed, sending Remus all but flying over the edge as she glared at Marlene. “The matter of the fact is that the pair of you lied for whatever reason – and Hermione and Sirius kissed twice, once for their own reasons and the other because he was trying to make sure we didn’t find out about you two – they’re not even in a relationship -”

“You’re not together?” James asked dangerously as Hermione let out a sigh and Sirius buried his face in his hands.

“I honestly thought that would help this situation.” Lily muttered to herself, sending Hermione a guilty glimpse, before she once again tried to make the mess better. “Neither are you and Marlene!” Something crossed her brothers face, one like guilt.

“We never claimed to be and the whole reason we wanted to keep it a secret was so no one would go around talking shit.” James defended, sending a glare to Lily who seemed shocked. “I care about her, she’s my friend and I’m not about to let her be dishonoured – not like Sirius has done to Hermione.” The room groaned as Hermione placed her hands on her hips again.

“We kissed – that’s all – it’s not like I let him fuck me against the stairs for everyone to see!” Her cheeks burned even further as Sirius raised an interested eyebrow and James frowned even more.

“Keep your mouth closed unless you want to loose your tongue – you have you have dishonoured my sister and therefore you will marry her.” Hermione could have laughed if her brother didn’t seem so serious about the whole situation.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Sirius asked tiredly, Hermione looking over her shoulder but he was staring at her brother like he thought James was the stupidest man alive.

“I am not marrying Sirius because we kissed James this isn’t 1813, half of the people in this school have done worse – you included!” Her voice rose at the end, high pitched as James pursed his lips and his ear turned red.

“But not you – you don’t deserve to be messed around – no offence, mate, I love you – but she’s my sister and I won’t have you breaking her heart once you’ve gotten what you think you want.” Sirius’ shoulders slumped as Hermione clicked her tongue despite the understanding and love she felt for her sweet, caring and stupid younger brother.

“Mate I’m not gonna -”

“I appreciate that, Jamie, but you don’t even have to worry – what happened tonight was nothing more than Sirius’ vague attempt keeping me distracted and before that was – well I don’t know.” She whispered the last words and winced before facing her brother with a sigh. “But we both decided that nothing is going to come of it anyway.”

James actually looked shocked, a frown forming between his eyes. “Are you sure that’s something you both want?”

Hermione and Sirius turned to look at each other, and for a moment she swore they were both going to say no, her stomach twisting and her eyes focused on just him for a second. Every piece of anger and annoyance melting away, his eyes flickered with something, an understanding that nothing had changed between them and yet it felt like a lie as she turned back to James, the pair of them speaking at the same time.

“Yes.”

...

SECOND WEEK OF SEPTEMBER

It was rare day in September where the sun shone brightly in the sky and filled the air with a warmth that would no doubt disappear from the Scottish highlands the next day. Which meant the students were soaking up the sun with their homework and/or dipping their toes in the cold lake while they gossiped about whatever the new rumours were.

Hermione’s own books laid out beside her, half forgotten as Lily, laid on her stomach, chewed on the end of her sugar quill instead of writing the essay she was supposed to have finished – it would have been easy to think the redhead was actually doing her homework if it wasn’t for the way her head kept looking over her shoulder at the group of boys not too far away.

Hermione had been watching them too, it was hard not too when they seemed to call attention from everyone around at a certain movement – whether because they seemed to be waiting some kind of prank or because, like Hermione, there was a certain member of the group that seemed to catch their eye.

He sat there laughing at something Remus had uttered, eyes crinkling at the corners, white teeth catching in the sunlight and one hand used to lean back on while the other ran through his hair. It was so carefree and Sirius, that it made sense why there seemed to be a group of girls giggling nearby.

“What do you think they are doing?” Hermione looked away from the boys, grabbing one of the apples they had brought with them to take a bite as she followed Lily’s eyesight – except it didn’t seem to be Sirius she was staring at.

Hermione’s mouth quirked up as Remus snatched the parchment from James’ waving hand, leaning forward to hiss something. “It’s a map of Hogwarts, filled with secret passages and accurate movements of everyone in the castle.” She grinned at Lily as the girl look back with a frown.

“What?”

“Don’t tell them I told you, I’m not even supposed to know.” Hermione added as Lily’s closed her mouth.

“Then how do you know?” Lily asked with a frown and a slight disappointment. “Did Sirius tell you?” Her mouth turned into a wide grin as Hermione rolled her eyes.

“No, of course not.” She waved her hand in the air before she leaned forward so her face wasn’t too far away from Lily’s as she grinned. “It’s a Marauder secret, that they spent all summer talking loudly about.” An easy half-truth that could be bought by the boys if it was ever mentioned, which it probably would be one day.

“Please tell me that’s not what they are calling themselves.” Lily groaned as Hermione moved away with a chuckle.

“Their little group of fo- three.”

“It does feel weird to not see Peter hanging over them, even if the past year he wasn’t around that much.” Lily remarked as she picked up her real quill and began doodling on her parchment. “How have they been with it all?” Hermione sighed, dropping the apple onto the ground beside her, her appetite gone.

The truth was, they never spoke about Peter, despite the whispers. None of them mentioned him or what had happened, they didn’t even speak to Hermione about it so she couldn’t even be sure they spoke between themselves. Lily only knew because of Hermione but even she kept her mouth shut out of respect.

That never stopped the rumours though, that Peter had run away because of his father, that the boys had pushed him out of school because he was the weak link and her favourite – that he couldn’t take that three boys seemed to have something going on without him.

“I think they are doing alright, it hurts, there is no doubt about that but they seem to be doing better and not planning on hunting him down.” Hermione muttered but it was still a guess – for all she knew, they sat plotting every night about finding Peter.

“Well they deserve some answers.” Lily muttered darkly, her head turning to look at the boys again. “And where is Marlene, I thought she would be hanging all over Potter?” She turned back to her essay then, frowning at her drawing of the three boys.

“I don’t know, honestly I don’t even want to think about either of them and that.”

“You and me both.” Lily cringed, pushing her parchment away and dropping her quill in the grass. “Just because James...ew, I know he’s your brother but honestly – I mean I guess the eyes are nice and his skin is...but the messy hair and personality well they are just enough to drive someone crazy and...what?”

“Nothing.” Hermione chuckled as Lily turned pink. “Just gave him a lot of compliments considering you don’t like him that much.” She raised a taunting eyebrow as Lily spluttered.

“I did not!” But her cheeks were red. “If we are going to talk about not liking someone then how about we talk about you and Sirius – I have honestly never seen ‘friends’ who spend most of their time touching and smiling at each other like the pair of you.” As if to prove her point she reached out to stroke Hermione’s sock covered leg.

“We don’t touch that much.”

“Hermione, I’m surprised that your shoulders don’t have a permanent dent from his arm – and I’m seriously considering making him put lipstick on so you can see how many times he kisses your forehead.” Lily laughed as she reached out to poke Hermione’s forehead in question. “And don’t get me started on you...I mean...’oh Sirius, hahaha, you’re so funny and handsome.’” Hermione couldn’t help the amused brow that raised as Lily leaned into her side in an over exaggerated way.

“Are we doing impressions of Hermione and Sirius?” The girls looked up to see Remus above them with an amused smile on his face.

“What are you doing here?”

“I thought about studying, you guys seemed like the better option.” Remus sat down on the other side of Lily, gesturing to James and Sirius who seemed to tormenting a few first and second years with something and giggling like children. “But it seems we are teasing Hermione instead, much more fun.” They really didn’t seem close enough for that.

“Shove it.” Hermione pouted, grabbing a book and opening it to a random page.

“Would you prefer if I sounded more like Sirius?” Remus asked, kind despite the cheek in his tone. “’Come on Mi’, you know you can’t resist me.’” He dropped his voice a tad lower, taking on a more drawling slightly posher tone (Sirius had done as best as he could to get rid of as much of his accent as he could).

“That was terrible.” Hermione remarked dryly as she shifted in her seat, her eyes quickly flicking to Sirius who was now giving James a piggyback.

“’I think it was great, Sirius, you can do nothing wrong.’” Lily’s voice dropped slightly too, became much posher and for some reason breathier as she laid her head on Remus’ leg. “’Let’s pretend that nothing is going on between us and keep on acting like we aren’t a second away from doing indecent things in front of everyone.’” She flashed him a cheeky grin as Hermione shook her head.

“’I agree, even though it’s a blatant lie and I am stupid, I feel nothing more than usual for you, Hermione – and do not spend my time daydreaming about pulling her into a broom closest for a snog.’” He added a wink at the end as Lily burst out into laughter and moved back to her original spot.

Hermione’s cheeks turned pink as she glared at both of her friends. “You’re both idiots.”

…

Friday 19^th of September 1975

“Watch your step!” Sirius hissed as he tried his best to help her up the stairs, thank Merlin he was behind her though otherwise he would see how bright red her face was at having his hands on her waist and his breath on her ear. She really need to regain control of the situation.

“I don’t know why I needed to be blindfolded for this – I swear, Sirius, if this is some party -”

“It’s not, ‘Mi, I promise.” He reached around her then, his hand gripping hers and leading her on a much flatter ground, until her hands reached out to grip a familiar cool railing.

“Then why – oh.” Her breath left her throat as he stood behind her, the blindfold which was just a tie sliding away from her eyes and letting her see the nights sky, the nearly full moon hung in the sky with a thousand bright stars that spelt out ‘Happy Birthday, Hermione’ for seemingly the whole world to see. “How -”

“It’s a charm, you can only see it from here and in an hour it will be gone...but I thought – well happy birthday, Hermione.” Gone was the confident Sirius and instead replaced with a shy and soft smiling boy before her.

Her hands clasped around his neck, his arms holding him to her as he lifted her off the ground, placing a kiss to the side of her forehead and placing her back down as Hermione blinked away watery eyes. It was something so simple and yet it warmed her heart like no other, and she couldn’t help but drag him over the edge, holding his hand tightly.

This had always been her place for her birthday. Somewhere she could think quietly and enjoy that another year had gone by, that she still had time before her mission – where she could miss those that were no longer able to spend it with her. And if she needed to, she could just cry. And Sirius had gone out of his way to add an extra touch.

“I know it’s not much, so I got you this too.” Sirius whispered, his hand moving from hers and to the base of her neck, navigating around her curls to tie something there before he pulled back so that Hermione could see.

A small rectangle black stone that seemed to shift to a familiar silver, lay on her sternum, a black rope threaded through to hold it there but it was the rune carved into the stone that made her eyes water again. Something much like a ‘Y’ with an extra line through the middle of the v part.

“Algiz?” Hermione questioned, her voice but a whisper.

“I had to have Remus talk me through it, my knowledge of Runes, especially ones with so many meanings is shit, but this one stood out.” He explained sheepishly, but she couldn’t keep her eyes off of him. “Courage, defence, and protection – I was mainly going for that.” He whispered the last part, reaching out to touch the necklace.

“Protection?”

“The wars getting worse and I know better than to think you’ll sit on the sidelines forever, at least this way you might have something keeping you safe.” She heard what he wasn’t saying, that he wanted her to be safe with whatever she did.

“That’s surprisingly sweet.” Hermione whispered, sucking in a breath as he grinned down at her and raised a hand to quickly stroke her cheek, tucking a curl behind her ear and then dropping his hand.

“It has been known to happen.” She had known that, Hermione Granger could have told her that, but she hadn’t needed to because Hermione Potter, despite the annoyance, had seen it before. With James, with Remus, Marlene, even with Lily and even herself.

It made her heart beat faster and her eyes flicker to his lip that held the rare but beautiful smile as he leaned forward and pressed a quick and warm kiss to her burning cheek.

“Thank you.”

“Anytime, Kitten.” Although his voice was soft, he sent her a wink that made her grin. “I better go before James comes up here and thinks something is happening, but Happy Birthday Hermione.” He began to move away and Hermione couldn’t help but watch him as something shifted slightly inside her.

“Wait, Sirius.” Her hand reached out to grab his wrist and as she stared up at him, she wanted nothing more than to kiss him. To give into everything her brain was telling her to, her breath stuttered and Sirius smiled at her understanding, pulling his wrist from her grip gently and tucking his hands into his pocket.

She smiled back, and stood on her tiptoes, pressing a quick and gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth before moving back as he stared at her softly.

“Hello...what are you doing here?” They turned to see James stood in the entrance, with an amused smile on his face instead of the usual frown when he saw them together.

“I was just giving Hermione her present.”

“If it’s something in your pants then you can fuck off.” And he was back, though there was a teasing tone to his voice as Hermione clicked her tongue and Sirius actually smirked, opening his mouth to say something before snapping it closed with a grimace. “Or you could go anyway, I want time with my sister.”

“Prat.” Sirius chuckled out, placing another kiss on Hermione’s cheek and giving her a smile, strutting past James and punching the boy in the arm, leaving the Potter siblings alone.

The pair moved to stand side by side, staring up at the sky as it began to fade from sight but never from Hermione’s mind.

“Are you nervous about tomorrow?” Hermione asked after a few moments of silence, turning to look up at her brother who was staring at the moon in the sky, the light reflecting from his glasses, his skin slightly paler than usual.

“Hm...our first time running around with a werewolf...yeah it’s pretty terrifying but if it works or helps then I suppose it will be worth the risk.” It would, it would change Remus’ life forever, maybe even make him healthier than in a long time – give him some sense of a pack that he lacked.

“It will work and Remus will be forever grateful.”

“I’m not doing it for that.”

“I know.” Hermione whispered and not for the first time she wanted to tell him everything that she knew and offer him some sort of comfort. But she couldn’t, not now and maybe not ever.

“He means a lot to me and I want to be there for him when I can – it’s what friends do, it’s what you and Sirius are pretending that you are doing.” James mumbled back, turning to look at her over his glasses in a way that could only be described as; Dumbledore.

“We aren’t pretending.” And they weren’t, it’s just that the lines seemed to be getting more blurred with every passing day and she was finding it harder to not act on the confusing feelings, that no longer wanted to be deemed as confused.

Or that was how it was for her. It was hard to tell for Sirius when he didn’t seem that much more different, expect he seemed to enjoy sitting beside or as close to her as he could.

“Neither of you are being honest about what you really want, which is each other.”

“I don’t have time for this...I have enough in my cauldron without adding whatever confusing thing with Sirius is happening.” Denial, her thoughts sang to her, her head dropping as she tried to push away the voice away.

“You think you are adding it but it’s already in the cauldron, seemingly small but I’m pretty sure it’s been there since you were both kids.” James defended with a laugh, shaking his head before his hazel eyes caught hers and he gave her a one shouldered shrug. “And as for the other problems, well they’re going to be there whether you decide you want to give it a try or not.”

“That’s not a reason to try – and I hardly think it’s fair that you are up here lecturing me when you don’t even know what happened.” Hermione scoffed out, looking back up to the sky and the faint sign that still twinkled if you focused hard enough.

“You kiss and apparently didn’t want to see where that could go, what’s more to understand?”

“You’re best friend is something of a free person with his body – I am not. He doesn’t want relationships and I do.” Hermione explained softly. “There was nowhere for it to go other than a couple of tumbles in the bed.” Even if it was a tempting idea at this very moment, and many other moments in the day.

“I don’t want to think about that – and I don’t want to think that Sirius isn’t doubting what he said and seriously considering changing his mind.” James offered softly, gesturing to where the stars were nearly almost gone now, her heart aching slightly and her mind wondering if he would do this again for her if she asked.

“James…”

“He likes you, it pisses me off, but he does and you like him too, what more to it does there need to be.” It sounded so simple and really it should have been, for anyone else in this school, they would have jumped at the chance to be with their crush but not Sirius and Hermione.

There was a lot between them, shared family that neither really liked to think about. Disappointing biological parents, pressures, tempers and different reactions to the problems they had gone through.

And yet she wished it could be as simple as James said it was.

Chapter Text

End of September

The Common room wasn’t empty but it was quiet, full of people doing homework or going over their reading – taking the first month of their school seriously but they all knew by the time the next month came they would be knocking off until their O.W.L’s were a few weeks away.

It wasn’t like Hermione could play, her own homework had been pushed aside despite it’s near completion, in favour for a thrilling and incredibly bad game of chess with Lily, who despite her red hair, had nothing else in common with Ron and proved it with every error of a move.

“Shit move.”

“Shut up, Evans.”

“Merlin, you sound like your brother.” Lily mumbled under her breath as Hermione gave her a wide grin and leant onto the side of the table. “Ah don’t -”

“Evening Lily-Flower, you’re hair looks are fiery as the sun – what do you say you join me at Hogsmeade?” She made her voice lower, in a passable manner of her brother, adding in his crooked smile and running a hand through her curls before throwing in a wink that had Lily blushing and shaking her head, even if there was a slight smile on her face.

“Please stop.”

“Ah Evans, you know you love me – in fact my sister told me to do this as payback – so just say yes.” She threw in a James pout at the end and mimed moving glasses on her face as Lily finally cracked a small smile.

“Didn’t know this was happening, I’m not sure whether the boys will be disappointed or very pleased by this turn of events.” The two girls looked up to see Marlene staring between them bemused, even more so when Lily played right into Hermione’s plan and another one of her pawns was taken brutally.

“I doubt they’d mind, what’s that?” Hermione asked, pointing to the letter in Marlene’s hand before speaking her own command to the board.

“Oh, it’s yours – I believe it’s from Andy, but my owl was very confused about who to deliver it to it seems and oh yeah – when did I say you could use my owl?” Marlene asked as Hermione took the letter, opening it with a smile at the picture her cousin had sent of Dora flying around their small garden on her broom.

“James’ was busy.”

“Good to know… now for the real reasons I am here.” Marlene grinned, throwing her hands in the air and shaking around in some sort of dance that earned a couple of appreciative looks from a couple of seventh year boys by the fire.

“You mean you’re not just here to interrupt our game and annoy us?” Lily asked with a sweet grin before laughing as Hermione’s knight was taken out with a cry.

“You’ve been a lot sassier lately, Lil’, I’m starting to think you are annoyed with me about something.” Marlene spoke with a smile but her icy eyes were worried and it didn’t take a second for Hermione to figure out what Marlene was hinting to.

“Get to your point, Marlene.”

“Since you seem so excited – Slughorn has managed to convince Dumblydore to do some Grand Halloween Ball.” Hermione and Lily looked to each other and nodded their heads as Marlene dropped her hands and placed them on her hips. “You already knew?”

“Me and Remus have to go help and set up.” Lily explained with a softer smile and a shrug of her shoulders.

“So you’ll be there – I’ll be there and Hermione, so will you, with some other hunk who will make Sirius so jealous that he’ll want nothing more than to drag you into some spare classroom and give you the time of your life.” Marlene teased lowly and Hermione fought to keep the blush off of her cheeks at the image that filled her mind.

“Jamie not getting the job done, Marlene?” Instead she threw it back to her best friend who rolled her eyes, pulling an empty seat to the table and dropping into it with a sigh.

“Your brother does a fine job – but it’s a bit hard to do that when you stopped doing it after two days of coming back to school.” Hermione hadn’t had sex, not in this life anyway and not that she really thought about that, but she knew that it was kind of hard to want to stop when it was good and Marlene seemed like the sort who would struggle without it in her life.

“Are you saying you broke up?” Lily asked suddenly, emerald eyes focused on the board but Hermione couldn’t help but frown when it look like a small smile pulled up at her friends lips.

“You don’t have to seem happy about it, Lily.”

“I’m not – I know you liked him and I -”

“I liked the sex not him.” Marlene spit out through gritted teeth, enough to let them know she was lying to the pair of them. “Whatever, I’m going to bed.” And then she was gone, all but running up the stairs and to their dorm.

“Well that went well.” Hermione muttered, but she wasn’t going to run after the blond only to get her head bit off, which was usually happened when Marlene was forced to deal with emotions she tried to repress.

“She is always so temperamental, just once I would like to ask her a question and get an answer that isn’t rude or sarcastic.” Lily sighed out, rubbing a hand across her forehead as she frowned at the board in front of her.

“Hm.”

“Hello beautiful lady.” Sirius spoke, falling into the chair Marlene had left, his arm going around the back of Hermione’s chair and his other reaching to touch her necklace quickly before he nodded at an amused Lily. “Alright, Evans?”

“Do you not know how to keep your hands to yourself, Black?” Lily asked with a sweet smile, gesturing to the boys hands.

“No just like you don’t know how to play chess.” Sirius teased right back, turning his head as Remus and James joined them. “I’m sure James can show you, ain’t that right, Prongs?” It would have been an innocent question if Sirius hadn’t have winked at the end and moved a bit closer to Hermione.

“I’m going to show you my right fist if you don’t move your chair over there.” James sneered, pointing to the wall as Sirius raised his eyebrows.

“Oh Prongs, you’re making me nervous, am I blushing?”

“Stop it!” James snapped, turning around to glare at the few people who were paying attention to them before he leaned in closer and hissed at his best friend. “People are going to think the rumours are true!”

“Prongs, let them believe what they want – I personally think you and Sirius make a beautiful couple.” Remus said, a grin on his face, though they all knew it was because if people thought James and Sirius were together then Remus could be left out of the rumours for a while.

“I agree, you should go to the Halloween ball together.” Lily spoke with a smirk.

“Halloween ball?” Two of the boys croaked out, their eyes turning wide as they looked at each other while Remus just sighed and pointed out something on the board for Lily.

The boys turned back to the girls, seeming nervous. “Are you going?” Sirius asked Hermione who moved one of her pieces and caught Lily’s eye as Remus rolled his eyes.

“We all are, well us girls and Remus.”

“Don’t forget the hunk that Marlene says you should bring – I’m thinking the Ravenclaw chaser, Danny – have you seen him in his Quidditch uniform?” Lily asked, her eyes filled with teasing glint as she spared a look to Sirius who pulled his arm off of Hermione’s chair so he could cross it against his chest.

“Please, Danny, can barely hold a Quaffle so unless you want to be dropped by your date every five minutes then sure.” Sirius looked at Hermione with wide eyes as she raised her brows. No she didn’t really want to be dropped at all.

“Well there’s Tom from Hu-”

“Who all but pisses himself when a girl looks at him.” Sirius answered back before Lily could even finish and the girls couldn’t help but agree – the boy was scared of everything but mainly girls, he would stare and all but cry when they looked back at him.

“Well what about -”

“Evans, I’m going to stop you there – no one in this school is good enough to go with Hermione, apart from maybe Remus.” Sirius spoke, sending Remus a sharp look as the werewolf raised his head and narrowed his eyes.

“Then maybe she should go with Remus.”

“On second thought maybe she should go alone, save herself from having her feet stepped on by his giant clown feet.” Sirius said, narrowed eyes and jaw tensed. Hermione couldn’t help the way her heart rate picked up and her mouth dropped open as he suddenly stood up and stormed off to the boys dormitory.

Hermione let out a sigh. Her friends were far too temperamental and easy to torment.

...

Thursday the 2^nd of October 1975

DADA was not Hermione’s favourite class.

Their teachers seemed ill-informed and none of them could compare to the ones she had in her previous life or Harry, and thus she had spent most of her classes doodling instead of paying attention or even catching up on the lack of sleep she had during her nightmare periods.

This year however had been different, for almost a month there had been no teacher but instead a roll of other professors eager to do their best to make the students up to O.W.L standards while also trying to teach their other classes at the same time. It was the only time her head had stood up and she paid attention, for she could not remember learning as much in her other life as now.

But that was what she got for Umbridge being her teacher.

Today it seemed, no such teacher was available and thus the students had been given a chance to mess about – mainly Sirius and James who were throwing things across the classroom, with only Lily seeming to take her studying seriously and she read beside Hermione.

Her head was about to drop on her desk when the door flew open and someone stomped in, James’ and Sirius’ flying papers falling to the ground in an instant and the classroom of Gryffindors and Slytherins turning to look at the man as he frowned at them all. “Professor Proudfoot is the name – I will be your new defence against the dark arts teacher - well what are you waiting for, get up and make lines on either side!”

His tone was stern and his grizzly face covered in a few scars, kind of reminding her of Moody but in a less hostile way. Instead the teacher just looked pissed off and annoyed to be here, and perhaps a bit nervous at facing a large group of students.

The students didn’t need to be asked twice, leaving their things by the desks and standing in a line on either side, Gryffindor on one side and Slytherin on another, as the teacher stomped to the front.

“I have been informed that throughout the years, you have had a multitude of teachers – I am here to do the job they have been lacking in.” He punctuated each word with a deeper frown, clasped his hands behind his back and looked between the students. “What are you all waiting for?”

“Excuse me, Sir, but I don’t think we are quite what is it you want us to do?” Lily spoke softly, raising her hand so the man would turn to look at her as Proudfoot let out a sigh and took a step back.

“In order for me to see where we need to begin, I need to see your levels – I will be pairing you up, as you all seem too idiotic to do it yourself and we will begin some friendly duelling.” Proudfoot spoke, glaring at all of the students.

Hermione turned to look at Lily with a frown as the girl shrugged her shoulders while Proudfoot moved to the desk, digging through the parchments on his desk until he pulled out a long list and stomped back to the front.

“Let’s see, Black with Avery -” Sirius let out a grin as the teacher went on. “Lupin, ah, hmm – with Carrow – either is fine.” Remus chose the male. “McKinnon with Parkinson….Vance you can go with the other Carrow, Brown...erm -” The teacher mumbled on and the class moved into distance and grimacing pairs. “Oh Evans with Snape -” Everyone held their breath as Lily looked her best friends way. “And the Potter siblings together, I imagine that will be interesting.”

Hermione raised a brow at her brother as he grinned her way, twirling his wand around his fingers, as he moved closer to her, snapping his wand into his hand and using it to poke her gently in her stomach like it was sword. Her hand pushed him away but her mouth curled up in a smirk.

It wouldn’t be their first time duelling but it would the first time showing off their skills in front of the class.

“Now keep it clean – make sure you bow first – and if I see anything illegal then I’ll be stunning you and sending you to the Headmaster – now begin.” Proudfoot clapped his hand, taking a wide step back as spells, jinxes and everything else went off in a bang, his eyes wide as if he hadn’t expected it – he should have known better with a bunch of Slytherins and Gryffindors.

“Ready baby brother.” Hermione taunted as she curtsied to her brother, like they were preparing for one of their mothers ball, she stood straight as he bowed, pointing her wand.

“As ready as I’ll ever be –“ He mumbled something afterward, his spell going past her head and towards a Slytherin, her own aiming for Avery who was doing his best to get his spells past the shield Sirius had put up, the siblings laughing as Avery stumbled and sent a glare their way.

“Try to aim for your own partner!” Proudfoot called, walking past the siblings.

“Impedimenta.” Hermione shouted with a grin on her face.

“Protego.” James shouted back. “Titillando.” His spell broke past his own shield, hitting Hermione and causing her to almost bend over in forced laughter.

“Finite.” Hermione hissed out through her laughter, the spell stopping and her back straightening as she glared at her brother, a small smirk appearing on her face as his eyes went wide. “Anteoculatia. You look beautiful, deer.” The laughter this time was real.

Antlers had grown on her brothers head, causing even Sirius and Remus to laugh in the midst of their own increasing duels, James reaching up with a frown to touch the new bone before shaking his head and muttering the counter curse.

They continued for a while, most of their spells being stopped by shields or quick dodging, until Hermione had finally had enough and most of the other duels had finished, quickly waving her wand and curtsying again when James’ wand landed in her hand and her brother stared back at her in shock, his bottom lip coming out in a pout.

“You cheated.”

“No I won.”

“Cheater.”

“Sore loser.”

“Rude -”

“Ow Sev…” The Potter’s turned rapidly, their good humour being forgotten in a single second, as they saw Lily staring at her best friend with a hurt expression, her hand gripping her other were it seemed redder than before. “Why would you -”

“Miss Evans, are you seriously injured?” Proudfoot asked, frowning as Lily shook her head, dropping her hand and gripping her wand tightly. “Very well, then continue.”

Hermione frowned at the teacher as he watched the two students, their duel continuing hesitantly, most of the class was finished, all stood around and watching the two best friends begin to fight, their resentment, hurt and everything else seeming to pour out of every spell.

“Maybe you should show her that new spell of yours, Snape, finish the duel off for good.” The Carrow sister hissed out, a cruel laugh leaving her mouth as Snape gulped and Lily frowned. Hermione felt her heart beat faster. New spell?

Snape seemed unsure but it didn’t stop him from raising his wand and pointing it at Lily’s scared face. “Se-”

“Protego.” Hermione didn’t think as she jumped in front of her friend, her spell leaving her wand with such force that it sent Snape stumbling backwards, his spell left half finished and his wand leaving his hand and falling onto the floor for Hermione to pick up. “What the fuck are you thinking?”

“Miss Potter -”

“Were you actually going to use that on her, your supposed best friend?” Hermione moved forward, the Gryffindors gathering behind her back – even Emmeline seemed to be put out and annoyed at the Slytherin’s, standing crossed armed and glaring at Snape.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Snape mumbled but his black eyes gave him away, full of emotion.

Hermione let out a scoff and moved even closer, shoving his wand into his hand. “Are you that lost to them cunts that you can’t see what they were egging you to do?” He gulped again and opened his mouth to speak but quickly shut as the Slytherins seethed behind him.

“Miss Potter, fifty points from Gryffindor and detention this evening for use of language!”

“You were going to cut her to pieces with your own spell? That’s fucking sick.” Hermione snapped, ignoring her teacher because she simply didn’t care right now. She didn’t care if the whole room could hear her or if she blurted out something she should have. No one, not even Snape, was going to harm Lily Evans – especially not in front of her.

“I wasn’t – how do you know about that spell?” Snape hissed back, taking a step closer despite the warning hiss James let out.

“Miss Potter, away from Mr Snape now before I send you to Dumbledore.” Proudfoot spoke harshly, Hermione stayed for a second, glaring at Snape before she stepped backwards.

“Fine.”

“No it’s not fine!” James was there then, pushing his sister behind him as he looked at the teacher. “Sir, she was clearly just trying to protect her friend!” He gestured to Lily who still seemed to be in some kind of shock at the whole situation.

“Mr Potter, would you like to join your sister in detention?” Proudfoot asked lowly.

“Yes I fucking would.” James grinned proudly, hands on his hips as he sent a wink to the Professor who seemed slightly amused at the boy, especially as he said. “Do you know how rare it is that we get detention together?”

…

Saturday the 25^th of October 1975

Getting out of Hogwarts for a few hours was always a blessing, even if it was to Hogsmeade, which she had seen far too many times in her life. Still the reprieve from the same corridors and walls was like a breath of fresh air.

It was shame then that the village seemed to be filled with stupid people running around like headless chickens in order to prepare for the ‘ball’ the next week or children stocking up on sweets and Zonko’s products to get through the hard time of being too young and unable to attend what was sure to be the biggest event of the season.

Personally Hermione just thought it was Slughorn wanting to mingle with future successful students and force them to interact with people he knew – and also Dumbledore’s way of trying to get them to focus on something else instead of the growing war.

“Look out Moony!” James shouted as he all but dived through Hermione and Remus and over the head of Sirius who was crouched down and tying his boot, sending a wink to the girls giggling in the corner. “It seems we have some girls on the prowl.”

“Or they are watching the pair of you do...acrobatics – what is happening now?” Remus asked with a sigh as Sirius jumped up to try and grab James, the pair moving in what looked like an increasingly violent and dangerous acrobatic dance that ended up with them both on the ground.

“What did you give them?” Hermione asked Remus, her arms crossed and an amused smile on her face.

“Nothing – you know we have a ban on certain foods – did they sneak some sugar quills while we weren’t looking?” He looked worried for a second as Hermione frowned. Sugar and Jamie never did mix well, then adding Sirius to the mix was like adding trouble.

Hermione sighed as Marlene and Lily appeared beside the boys who were groaning now, Marlene frowning down at them as she asked. “Why are you on the floor?” She didn’t wait for an answer, jumping over them and grabbing Hermione’s hands. “Never mind, I need to steal Hermione.”

“What? Why?” Sirius asked as he stood up, pulling James up with him. “Are you trying to step her up with someone again?” His pout came out as Marlene looked at him amused.

“Again?” Marlene asked. “I wasn’t aware that I had done that before but to answer your question, no.”

“Then why are you taking her away?” Sirius whined, sending what could only be classed as a longing look to Hermione – it made her cheeks turn red and her arms want to reach out for him to pull him down for a kiss that wasn’t considered friendly.

“You’re so dramatic.”

“I am not!” Sirius cried as he turned to glare at Remus.

“You are mate.” James answered back but there was a small smile on his face.

“Whatever...Hermione stays.”

“Well unless you want her turning up to the ball in nothing...then sure she can stay.” Lily bit out and Sirius’ eyes glazed over slightly, a smirk appearing on his face that only disappeared the moment James fist connected with his stomach.

“Somehow I don’t think he would mind that idea, Lils.” Marlene muttered to her friend, eyes crinkling at the corners as she turned to send a grin to Hermione, followed by a thumbs up.

“He might if everyone else is staring at her too.” Remus remarked dryly as Sirius sent him a glare, but his eyes were no longer meeting Hermione’s who face was no doubt redder than a Weasley’s hair. She wanted to hide away from the conversation.

“And just like that this conversation is over.” She mumbled, grabbing Marlene’s hand and pulling the girl away as Lily trailed behind in soft laughter. “Let’s go.”

…

“You two are imbeciles.” Hermione grumbled as they entered Gladrags, trying their best not to bump into the large gaggles of girls that were all but tearing the shop apart in their eagerness to find a dress.

“Oh come on Mi’, what’s the point of having friends if teasing is out of the question?” Marlene joked, leading them to a corner which didn’t have too much action, searching through the robes and older dresses with a smirk.

“Teasing is fine but to put Sirius and myself in such awkward situations is just unnecessary.”

“You put yourselves there the moment you decided to swap saliva.” Marlene pointed out and Hermione blushed as a few girls looked their way interested, not that Marlene was paying attention to that. “You can’t be mad at us for seeing what you both are ignoring.”

“We aren’t ignoring anything!” Hermione snapped, moving around Marlene to pull out a dress that she wasn’t all that interested in.

“You are, trust me, I know – honestly I just don’t get why you don’t just get over the clear flirting and eye fucking and get right to the real thing.” Her golden eyebrows waggled as she pulled out a set of tighter robes, holding them up and then shaking her head and putting them back.

“You know why, Marlene.” Hermione whispered, moving a step closer to her friend.

“So you want a relationship – I get that – kind of – but -”

“There is no but.”

“There is, it’s Sirius’ and it’s fine, and it could be yours.” Tempting, Sirius did have a rather nice round behind, not too big nor small, but that was beside the point and Marlene knew that.

“In order for it to be mine would require us to be in a relationship – something he doesn’t want.” Hermione pointed out once again as Lily nodded her head in agreement, grabbing a book of colour swatches and holding them up to Hermione’s cheek. “And I am not going to just have sex with him just because I can.” Even if it was something she had thought about.

“Then what are you actually doing?” In their years of friendship there had never really been a time that Marlene questioned Hermione’s choices but it was clear that her best friend did not agree with her this time.

“Marlene -”

“No, Lils – I get that you like him and you think nothing can happen, but then what are you doing mooning over him?” Marlene asked none too nicely as Hermione frowned at her. “You’re leading both of you on and it’s only going to end up messy and worse.” Sound advice from a girl who had no problem avoiding seriousness.

“I’m not -”

“If you can’t have Sirius then why not take advantage of a situation and try someone else.” Her tone softened and her shoulders shrugged as Hermione sighed. “You know the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else, don’t you?”

Hermione rolled her eyes as the cheeky smirk was back. “You’re something else, Marly.”

“I honestly think the both of you are making it so much harder than it needs to when you haven’t even given it a try – and kissing does not count as trying.” Marlene spoke with a grin, pointing at Hermione as a few girls looked over at them again.

“I hardly think you are qualify on relationship advice when you’ve been shagging her brother for a year without a label or a relationship.” Lily muttered dryly, the group of girls nearby letting their mouths drop to the floor as they turned to whisper to one another, ignoring Marlene’s glare.

“We can all deny it but it might as well have been a relationship, even if it was mainly physical – and despite the fact that it’s ending, I don’t regret it.” Marlene added and Hermione shifted uncomfortably – she hadn’t exactly been on board with the ‘relationship’ but she didn’t think it should end because of her. “And I don’t think you would either.”

The thing is, Hermione knew that. She knew that whatever happened, she wouldn’t regret starting something with Sirius or even trying something, but she couldn’t deny to herself what she actually wanted and how dishonest it was to go against that.

“Great advice, Marlene – let’s encourage our friend to just go have sex with the guy she has a crush on without getting anything in return.” Lily voiced Hermione’s thought for her, emerald eyes narrowed and her hands crossed over her chest.

“I doubt he won’t give her anything, we’ve all heard the rumours.” Marlene chuckled lowly as Hermione blushed once again. “And I’m not encouraging it but let’s not pretend that Hermione hasn’t been thinking about it since the moment Sirius defiled her mouth.” True but that did not need to be said outloud in front of gossips.

“Still -”

“There is no still about it, if you don’t want to then don’t – if you do then do it.” Marlene whispered with a shrug of her shoulders. “You can either be fine with never knowing the ‘what ifs’ and ‘what could have happen’ or you’re not – that’s all there is to it.”

“You and James make everything seemed so simple but sometimes it’s not.” Hermione retorted as Marlene stared at her with pursed lips, nodding her head and taking a step back to let out a sigh and pick up a random dress.

“Well then for now, let’s concentrate on something simple, like dresses and leave the boy drama for another day.”

“Sounds good to me.” Lily mumbled, frowning at the price of whatever she was looking at. Hermione almost opened her mouth and offered to buy it but she was aware of how much Lily hated being seen as charity when she had her own money.

“So other than Halloween, is there like a theme to this ball?” Hermione asked, letting out a sigh of relief as one of the groups of girls left the shop and the whole room seemed less full.

“Autumn colours, and elegant costumes that depict some kind of character.” Lily explained as she led them to another rack, flicking through a few oranges and purples that the owner of Gladrags seemed to have put out especially for Halloween.

“Does that mean I can’t wear black?”

“I’m not sure but I think it also means you can’t get your tits out.” Hermione answered Marlene with a sweet smile as her friend pouted her bottom lip.

“Seems a bit unfair – if I can’t do that then Lily can’t wear green!” Marlene snapped, pointing to Lily who had picked up a green dress and was glaring at Marlene. “Too Slytherin.” Their friend added at the end with another pout.

“It’s not the same green, Mar!”

“And it’s not like she can wear orange.” Hermione joked as Lily rolled her eyes.

Chapter Text

Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle. Love is a war. Love is growing up. - James A. Baldwin

Friday the 31^st of October 1975

Sirius hated balls. Apart from his own – but he wasn’t talking about those kind of balls.

Being the Black heir meant the he had been subjected to quite a few throughout his rather short life, watching Purebloods prance around like prized brooms in order to secure some kind of marriage alliance or to show how much money they had with their extravagant parties.

During the years he had been able to dwindle out of them – instead choosing to spend time at the Potter’s, which meant he only had to attend the annual Potter Christmas ball once a year and no others. Which was why he was rather pissed off to have to be dressed up in his best robes at school when he should have being getting pissed in the Common Room like every other year.

He still could, though it would be rather lonely considering everyone else fourteen and over was in the Great Hall – and well he might not have much class but he had enough to know that drinking with thirteen year olds was too far, even for him.

Plus, at least here, he could stare at all the girls who seemed to have gone all out for such an event – an event he was sure was just a way to distract them all from the depressing outside.

“You’re moping.”

“No, I’m sober – there’s a difference.” Sirius but back at Remus who just let out a sigh and pulled a flask from the inside of his robes, taking a sip and passing it over without an extra remark. “Thank you, Moony – what a true friend you are.”

“Anything to get that pathetic pout off of your face.” Remus remarked with a smirk, leaning back against the wall they were stood against, the dark setting helping to hide them from the girls that seemed to be on the prowl in claiming one of the three most popular boys in the school.

Mainly Sirius, but he wasn’t about to put his friends down. Instead he spent his time taking in the décor, pumpkins in the corner, floating candles providing just enough light to the fake starry sky, bats flying low and tables full of dark coloured drinks and sweets. Slughorn and the Prefects had done a good job in giving a spooky yet elegant setting.

Yet he was bored. Bored of the dancers twirling around like twats. Bored of the music which could have only been improved if they put on Led or Pink Floyd. This whole ball could only be improved by a few Marauder specialities.

“So I was thinking -”

“Holy shit.” Remus cut him off as Sirius frown.

“I haven’t even said my idea yet, you know, you could at least wait before you express your opinions.” Sirius whined out, taking another sip of the flask and glaring at a couple dancing far too close to him.

“No, not that – look.” Remus gripped his chin and turned his head around, all but forcing him to look at the group of girls that had entered the Great Hall. Sirius felt his mouth drop and his heart pound, also a slight wondering in his head of why he and Remus seemed to be the only ones in the hall staring at them, at her.

Hermione Potter, wonder of the ball, dressed like she aimed to impress Merlin himself in her deep red gown, a full skirt of stiffer fabric, a bodice, with thick straps, straight and tight enough that it left little to the imagination with every breath she took and see through puffy sleeves. Her usual curls were tamed to waves and half braided and under some silver cap – like some 1500’s Lady that required his attention.

He moved through the crowds, all but pushing people away until he came to a stop before her, eyes feeling hazy from just drinking her all in, hand reaching to reach out and touch where her necklace, his necklace, rested delicately. Personally he had never thought he would find an older ball getup that attractive but perhaps Hermione just lived to prove him wrong.

“Oh look, it’s George, Paul and John.” He moved his eyes away from the beauty before him, quickly to look at a sniggering Marlene, barely paying her any mind and apparently James who had joined them at some point.

“I call John.” He grinned as looked back towards Hermione. “If you want to be Yoko, I have no problem with getting out of here.” He waggled his eyebrows as she gave him an unimpressed look and he settled for a softer smile. “You look beautiful.”

Hermione stared at him, her lips curling up at the edges and her cheeks turning a hint pinker. He took a second to notice her face, hardly any makeup and a pair of earrings he had never seen her wear before but they only added to her stunning appeal.

“Are me and Lily invisible to you?” Sirius turned to bite at Marlene only to find his eyebrows raising.

Now everyone knew that Marlene was a beautiful girl, all long legs and confidence that seemed to drive lesser men wild, but he never really thought about it – never really taken interest, and not that he was now. But he could admit that the coppery cinnamon silk dress, with it’s low cut neckline and slit on the side, only added the goldenness that was Marlene’s skin and hair, and the iciness of her eyes.

She smirked at him and he felt whatever strange trance he was under break in a second, allowing him to turn to the more innocent deep mossy green covered Lily, with her dress flowing around her, dancing without her help, the auburn waves threaded with leaves and flowers. A naive sort of beauty that could only make him smile.

“You both look lovely, like a little forest creature and a pumpkin.” He joked out, wincing as Marlene smacked his arm and shook her head while Lily gave him an amused smile. “Ow...honestly Marlene!” She smirked at him and tucked her golden hair behind her ear.

“Better than looking like a dick.” She grinned sweetly at him as he rolled his eyes. “Come on, Remus, I want to dance.” The werewolf didn’t get a chance to respond, his mouth open as he was pulled away from the group and towards the dance floor where the music was now picking up a bit. Sirius couldn’t help but be amused by the situation.

The rest of the four of them stood there for a second, sharing Sirius’ (Remus’) flask and looking at the dance floor until James sighed and turned to the girls. “We better get there Mi’, mum will hang me by my arse if she finds out I let my sister stand to the side all night.” James grumbled but he looked amused regardless, holding out his hand for Hermione to take.

“Fine, but try not to stomp on my feet.” Hermione joked back, placing her drink on a table and dramatically reaching for her brother who began leading her away.

“Don’t go anywhere, Lily, I’ll be back for you.” James shouted over the back of his shoulder, still pulling Hermione into the crowd as Lily rolled her eyes but allowed for a small smile.

“Should we -”

“What?”

“You know.”

“Are you asking me to dance?” Lily asked with raised eyebrows, he shrugged his shoulders, his mouth falling open when she nodded her head and moved them closer to the crowd, placing her hands on his shoulders and allowing a good amount of distance between them.

Sirius cringed as he put his hands on her waist, he could almost feel James’ burning glare but he didn’t dare to turn around and find it, instead sticking to staring over Lily’s shoulder and moving side to side to some tune that he didn’t even know.

It felt awkward and clumsy, Sirius having to remind himself that Lily didn’t have the training most Purebloods had learnt since birth. His mouth kept shut as she stumbled and stomped on his feet for the fifth time in a minute, a small apology leaving her mouth and her cheeks turning a bit redder as he offered her a quick smile.

“She looks beautiful, doesn’t she?” Lily mumbled, her head turned to where James was spinning a laughing Hermione around, completely off beat but at least they were having fun. “I wouldn’t be surprised if she has a line of boys asking her out within the hour.” Sirius shifted and looked away from the red dressed girl.

“What’s your point?”

“My mum always used to tell me that we shouldn’t be afraid to go after what we want.” She didn’t give him a pointed look but he could feel the accusation in her tone. “I used to think it was true but...sometimes I wonder if there is some kind of honour in knowing that we can’t always be good enough for what we want.” Her eyes finally turned to look at him, softer than he expected.

“You know when I asked you to dance, I expected it to be a few minutes of silence, not whatever you are trying to get at.” He tried at joking but he knew it wouldn’t end there – it never did with Lily.

Her eyes hardened suddenly as she stared up at him. “Hermione deserves the best, she always has, and yet she wants you – whether she admits it or not, she does and instead of you manning up and go after her, you throw away something so important because you are scared.” Hitting the nail on the head.

“I’m not scared.” He denied with a small laugh, shrugging his shoulders as he added. “Slightly offended but not scared.”

“Then you’re just stupid.”

“Officially offended.”

“You need to decide if you really want her or if you are going to be content watching her with someone else.” Lily snapped, pulling her hands away and giving him a glare. “She doesn’t deserve to be lead on and despite the fact that more often then not, you make me want to pull my hair out, you don’t deserve that either.” His throat tightened up and his own arms dropped to his sides.

Truth was he wasn’t sure what she really wanted from him, he couldn’t name what was happening between him and Hermione and he didn’t want to – not now. But the idea of her being with someone, it ached him in his chest and made whatever he had left of a smile drop completely off his face.

“Lil -”

“You need to make a choice; let her go or give it a try.” The dance ended and they bowed to each other before Lily stepped away, giving him one last look as she turned on her heel and moved through the crowds, leaving him standing there alone.

...

HERMIONE POV

“I need some fresh air!” Hermione over the music with a grin as James nodded his head, throwing his jacket at her as he danced around to some song that had come on next. One dance in and he was already sweating – they still had a few hours to go.

The smile dropped as she shoved her way through the crowd, her head hanging low as she moved into the quieter hall and out into the courtyard. Tonight was supposed to be fun, a time to reveal in their teenage years but instead all she had seen was Lily and Sirius talking with frowns and glaring eyes – no doubt about herself.

She loved Lily, she truly did, and she understood the need the girl clearly had to protect her from something or to warn Sirius but it didn’t need to be done. Hermione was a big girl who would take care of herself like she had always done – and then cry about her mistakes and problems in secret later on.

But Sirius was bound to be awkward throughout the rest of the evening now, feeling threatened, feeling as though he would have to make a choice or inform her of what they had already discussed – breaking apart any progress they might have been making or turning their whole friendship into something awkward.

“What are you doing out here?” Hermione jumped and turned to see Edith, a groan leaving her mouth as the girl narrowed her eyes as blew out a breath of smoke.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“Well then I could give an answer – one that I think it pretty obvious.” Edith remarked dryly, showing the cigarette in her hand and rolling her eyes as she took a step closer to Hermione, her dress the same deep blue as the night’s sky, silky with hints of silver and very elegant. “Want one?”

The girl held out the packet of cigarettes as Hermione stared at them with a frown. Hermione Granger could tell her all the problems that came from having one, the damage it would do to her body and teeth but Hermione Potter didn’t actually care. The few sips of alcohol she had had were doing nothing to her veins, and if she was going to have teenage fun then why not try the common fad.

It felt wrong in her fingers, and Edith seemed amused as she adjust the cigarette and pulled out a zippo lighter, handing it to Hermione and almost laughing when the black haired girl let out a deep cough.

“So what is Hermione Potter doing out here?” Edith asked again, taking a drag of her cig and looking for more professional than Hermione ever could. “I thought you would love being the centre of attention.”

“Just proves how you don’t know me.”

“I’m not too upset by that considering you didn’t even know my name when we met last year.” Hermione couldn’t help but wincing, she had that one coming. “I wish for that sometimes instead of the glares you keep giving me.” Again, she couldn’t stop the wince.

“I wasn’t -”

“You were and we both know it’s because of Sirius.” Edith sucked in her cigarette, taking the nicotine in harshly and blowing it back out before she turned to look at Hermione. “So I’m going to be nice and give you some advice -”

“I don’t -”

“Most of the girls here don’t like you, and it’s not because you have a broom up your arse and you think you’re better than everyone – though that is one of the reasons – but it’s because no matter how many girls Sirius ‘dates’, you are always going to be the one he goes back to and the one who gets to see what it’s like to be loved by him.” Edith told her smartly and Hermione felt her mouth drop open.

For someone who gave off a rather cute appearance, and looked like she could join Lily in her little Muggle fairy forest, Edith spoke like someone harsher. Everything about her seemed to clash in every way – a petite girl who played Quidditch better than most men, a cute looking young woman who smoked and spoke her mind – a girl most would assume needed to be dated first but was happy to climb into a bed without needing everything.

Hermione was once again reminded of how they were the opposite, and yet they had somehow both managed to get caught in the web that was Sirius Black.

“I – I’m not – me and Sirius are not together.”

“Sounds like your own fault.”

“Is that why you don’t like me?” Hermione couldn’t stop herself from asking, the cig burning slowly in her hand, reminding Hermione to take a drag, only leaving her cough half a lung out afterwards.

“I don’t know you, I remain indifferent, though if you would mind keeping the looks to yourself – I could do without the love triangle rumours going around.” Edith grinned widely, her dimples showing as she threw the cig to the floor and crushed it out with her heel before spinning around and heading back inside without so much of another word.

Hermione supposed she could add lack of manners onto the list.

“I didn’t know you two were friends.” Hermione jumped, dropping her cig onto the floor, not that she was that upset about it but she supposed it was a waste.

“Is everyone trying to sneak up on me...Regulus?” A sigh left her mouth followed by a frown as she spotted the young boy, almost fifteen – who looked so much like his brother but much more mild and brighter eyed that it took her a moment to foucs.

“You look beautiful this evening, cousin – I hope my brother had enough brains to tell you that.” Regulus spoke politely, bowing slightlywith a soft smile on his face. “Though considering you’re out here looking like someone stole your wand...and smoking...I’m going to say he made an error.” He gestured to the cig, stomping it out with his shiny shoe.

“Why do you assume he did something wrong?” Hermione asked dryly, leaning back against the stone wall and hiding in the shadows as a couple stumbled out, giggling together and taking off into the night.

“Did you break up or something?”

“You know, you can’t call me cousin and then ask if I am dating your brother...which I am not...it adds a level of strangeness to the question.”

“Can’t blame me for assuming that when the pair of you can barely leave the other alone.” Regulus joked back, his hands now clasped behind his back as he moved forward, still a good distance from herself but close enough that she could see the slight freckles on his nose.

“Why are you out here, Regulus?” Hermione asked softly, brushing down her dress and waiting for him to speak.

“Two years ago, you reached out to me and offered something that I had never expected from you, never expected from someone who hadn’t seen or interacted with me since before we could both remember.” He added a small chuckle to the end. “I saw you walk off and thought you could use the same...especially after the possible news of your father.” Her tongue poked out between her lips.

They had never been close, and they hadn’t spoken for two years – she had barely paid him any mind in truth but she had known he was there – across the hall, eating with future Death Eaters and deciding his future.

And now he was here, looking sweeter than he usually did and seeming to try and offer some support for something that had had no new news since the summer.

“So send me a letter, or better yet don’t do anything, we aren’t friends Regulus, you don’t need to trouble yourself pretending that we are.” He words were harsh and she couldn’t help the guilt as he flinched and took a step backwards.

“I’m not pretending anything – we may not know each other but I do care about you.” Regulus all but pleaded with her, sounding more truthful than she had ever known. “There have been many times over the years where I have wanted to talk to you – to reach out and offer some kind of support or even a friendship.”

“And you’ve had an ample of opportunities which you’ve never taken, and I never blamed you for that, but why now when we both know where you’re heading is the exact opposite of where I’ll be.” Regulus sucked in a breath as Hermione turned her head away again – she would save him when the time came but it wasn’t now.

“You make it seem like I’ve already made that choice – like I have a choice in the matter.”

“We always have a choice, Regulus.”

“No, you do, not all of us are so lucky as to not have to pick up the mess our elder siblings are leaving behind – or maybe you don’t know about that, perhaps I should speak to James.” His tone was harsher, similar to his brothers in his anger. “My parents have expectations, ones that not all of us can run away from, ones that will fall on me when Sirius finally runs away.”

Hermione couldn’t help but stare for a second. Fourteen and already the weight of the world seeming to rest on his shoulders – if he was preparing for what’s to come then some more honesty wouldn’t hurt him. “Yet you’ll do your parents biding, even if that means murdering people for a man whose blood probably isn’t pure.”

“I – I -”

“Is that what you agree with, Regulus? Is who you want to follow?” If he told her no now, if he gave her a clear sign then she would whisk him away, hide him somewhere that no one would ever find him.

“Of course not – I may not like or understand Muggles, I may not agree with us having to hide or even Muggleborns but I don’t think they deserve to die for who they are.” Confused in his beliefs, he didn’t have the clear view his brother did.

“Then how can you stand by – how can you allow your parents to lead you into something that you don’t believe in or that will get you killed?” Hermione snapped, taking a step closer to him. He stood eye to eye with her, shorter than most of the boys in her life and weaker mentally too.

“Not everyone has what my brother does – a safe place to run to when things get difficult – not everyone can turn their back on their family in favour of their friends.” But he wanted one, that much was clear – he longed for the safety her family had given Sirius, but he had a duty to do and he wasn’t ready to step away.

“We are your family – me and Sirius, and we not think twice about risking our necks to whisk you to safety because you asked.”

“My brother despises who I am -”

“Your brother hates who your family is making you into but you are the reason he has stayed as long as he has because he knows – we all know – that the moment he leaves, every beating, every decision will be placed upon you with no way out.” Hermione hissed out as a loud group of girls walked by, singing to themselves and paying the two of them no mind.

“Then there is no way out.” It sounded so final, he bright blue eyes seeming to dull and his skin turning paler by the second.

“Not in the obvious sense, no, but people don’t normally have me to help them.” Hermione whispered, letting the corners of her mouth turn up. “When the day comes, you find me and I promise that I will do whatever I can to keep you safe.” He stared at her a second longer until his head bowed.

“And what about until then?”

“If you ever need to talk, if you ever need a friend, then regardless of your choices – I will be here.” Quickly she reached to give his hand a quick squeeze as she moved by him, her head held high and her heels clicking against the floor. She would leave him with his thoughts.

There was nothing that could be done until Regulus decided he wanted help.

...

LILY POV

Dancing with Sirius had been awkward and tense, partially her fault and she was sure Hermione was going to be annoyed if by the way she had stormed out of the Great Hall and because Sirius was stood glowering at nothing in the corner, ignoring the girls fighting for his attention – and also because she had two left feet.

Two left feet that James seemed more than capable of dealing with as he lead that round in some old fashioned dance that she barely needed to do anything. It was almost like dancing with her dad, except she wasn’t standing on James’ feet – not that she would think he would mind as it would close the already small distance between them.

An amused smile made it’s way onto her face at his dreamy expression, the glasses slipping down his nose, the crooked smile and the shaggy hair that needed cutting shaped like a long mushroom on his head.

“Paul doesn’t wear glasses.” Lily blurted out before she could stop herself, James frowning down at her as he whirled her around. “Marlene compared you to the Beatles, Sirius called John but that would make you Paul and he doesn’t wear glasses.” She finished lamely as he raised his eyebrows amused.

“It’s been a long standing debate between us, one that we can never win because apparently Sirius just oozes John Lennon – though it’s a bit hard to be compared to the Beatles when there are only three of us.” James explained with a shrug of his shoulders.

His hazel eyes dropped with a slight sadness and his smile lessened, leaving Lily to feel guilty and filled with a strange ache to make him feel better. “They fired their original drummer – I guess now you just have to find your new Ringo.” He gave her a half smile and she cringed. “Though no one could replace Paul, he was always my favourite anyway.”

And just like that he was back, a cheeky grin on his face and his dance picking up pace and he weaved them through more normal dancing partners and she couldn’t help the grin that made it’s way to her face, nor stop from reaching up to push his glasses back up his nose.

The music changed and she didn’t step away, instead her hand drifted to his hair before falling back onto his shoulder. “Your hair looks different.”

“Took a whole bottle of my fathers sleek eezy to get this, plus a bunch of charms Sirius gave me, not worth it – thought you might prefer it to the, what did you call it ‘mop’ on top of my head?” His eyes creased at the side as he grinned down at her, slowing down their dance to match the music a bit more.

Her mouth felt a little drier as she focused on him. She had always known James was handsome, it was hard not to, but she had never studied him all that close – but his eyes were beautiful, a swirl of brown and green with little flecks of gold that Hermione’s sometimes had in the sun.

“The mop suits you more, reflects the chaos within.” Despite her raspy tone, he laughed and didn’t seem to take notice of the blush on her cheeks or how she quickly looked away.

“It’s a Potter thing, Hermione’s was much the same when she didn’t have as much hair to weigh it down.” Lily could imagine – the similarities between two people who weren’t actually siblings was a little jarring at times. Same smile, nose and sometimes personality, the only difference was James’ slightly darker skin tone and eyes.

“Hm.”

“Did I tell you that you look very beautiful tonight?” He asked suddenly, a nervous smile on his face.

“Actually you didn’t.”

“I am sorry.” He didn’t seem sorry at all, even as his face scrunched up into a cheeky smile. “I’ll make it up to you...your hair is touched by fire, your skin by the pink moon, eyes as bright as emeralds and a smile softer than...erm...this tune.” He cringed at the end as Lily threw her head back and laughed loudly.

She was still chuckling, James joining in, when she managed to get out her question. “Was that supposed to be poetry?”

“It was, beautiful, no?” He was teasing again, not offended by her laughter and for probably the first time in their five years of knowing each other, she felt at ease. She felt fine with being held by him, with dancing and laughing like they had been friends for a while.

It was a level that she had never wished for but was happy they had got to, and she couldn’t help but wonder whether things would be different if Hermione wasn’t here to try and bridge the gap between them. Perhaps she would have spent the rest of Hogwarts hating him, never giving him the benefit of the doubt or even ignoring his existence or maybe they would have found a way to be friends.

“Potter.” The smile fell off her face as the pair of them turned to see Severus sneering at the boy. Lily waited for James to say something back, to do something stupid but he just tensed his lips and looked back at Lily.

“I’m going to get a drink and check on Hermione.” Her heart softened slightly, even while in their own dancing world, James had still seen his sister leave the Great Hall and return with a glare, reaching to grab Remus’ drink and down it in one go.

She nodded her head and watched him go, allowing Severus to lead to a more private space as he put his hands on her waist and swayed side to side, trying to pull her closer despite her pushing back on his shoulders. There had been no request to dance, no hesitant glance at touching her waist like with the other boys – just simple assumption that he could do that.

“Can we – can we just stop for a second?” Lily asked, taking a step out of his hands and crossing her arms over her chest, her cheeks turning red as his eyes drifted down for a second.

His face turned into a sneer. “So Potter can dance with you but I can’t?”

“That’s not what this about, Sev, and you know it.” Lily breathed out slowly, reaching inside herself to find her Gryffindor courage. “I mean, where have you even been for weeks? We haven’t spoken since the duel in DADA.” He looked back at her emotionless, black eyes all but dead.

“Your friend made a stupid assumption.”

“Did she?” Lily asked with raised eyebrows – Hermione and stupid didn’t mix well in the slightest. “So why was she so upset about whatever spell you were planning on using?” She asked through gritted teeth as Severus shifted on his feet.

“It doesn’t matter.” Where was the boy who had shown her everything? Who had led her into the Wizarding world and taught her things she needed to know? It wasn’t the cold boy before her.

“It does to me, I suspect it was one of your own – the ones you cook up with Black and Potter in mind, and I’d like to know what it would have done to me.” Lily spoke, narrowing her eyes as Severus let out a scoff, his eyes all but rolling into the back of his head.

“Nothing that I wouldn’t have known how to reverse.” Somehow it seemed that he found that comforting, like she would let the whole thing go and that would be it. That just because only he know a counter curse all was forgiven.

“Oh how lucky for me that whatever spell you are cooking up needs a reversal spell.” Lily snapped, taking a step closer and pointing a finger into his chest with enough force for him to waver slightly.“That you would even think of using whatever it was on me, your supposed best friend.” Her voice croaked with hurt and his eyes flashed.

“I wouldn’t -”

“You were a second away, if Hermione hadn’t jumped in then you would have!” Lily all but shouted but she didn’t care if the gossip mongers were listening and eager to spread what they had heard.

“She shouldn’t be getting involved.” Severus growled at her, his eyes flicking dangerously to where Hermione was talking with James and Remus, pointing something out in the crowd that had both boys laughing and her own face turning into a smile.

“You’re unbelievable – do you know she refuses to tell me what would have happened to me because she doesn’t want to ruin our friendship.” And because she knew that Lily would be hurt no matter what the spell was.

“And yet we stand here fighting.”

“Because of you, Sev, because every damn day of my life I defend you – I push my friends away, tell them that they are wrong about you, that you aren’t like the people in your house and yet every day you prove me wrong.” Her whole body was bursting with unshed anger, years of alarms in her head and a blindfold finally being pulled off.

“What about Potter and -”

“What about them?” Lily asked with a sigh. “They have nothing to do with any of this...this friendship that has been growing apart since the moment you got invested with the beliefs your house spouts, - and I am tired of defending someone who could follow someone willing to kill me or someone who would willing try to hurt his best friend.” She whispered, taking a step backwards and shaking her head. “I don’t think I can do it any more.”

“So you’re going to run back to them and pretend you’re all friends when you know they’ll leave you in a heartbeat for each other.” So eager to blame other people. He always had been since they first met and it was tiring.

“Despite what you think Sev, it’s always been me leaving them for you and them welcoming me back despite what I’ve said.”

“Lily -”

“We’re done here, Severus.”

…

MARLENE POV

“Did I ever have a chance?” The words were running away from her mouth before she could even form them into a thought, her dancing partner tensing and his eyes turning from the beautiful redhead talking to his sister to actually look at her.

“What -”

“Or were you always going to run back to her when the moment presented itself?” James stared down at her unsure, his feet stumbling over the next step. “I mean, she’s beautiful, kind and smart – she’s been everything to you since the moment you saw her but so am I.” And clearly she was modest also.

“It’s different.”

“What don’t I have that she does?” Her voice had turned eager, all but begging him to confess – to assure her of everything she was. To make her feel more than the one people turned to for a quick fling. “What makes me good for some things but not for the rest?”

“If I could then I would pick you but sometimes we don’t get that choice – our heart gives itself away before our mind can catch up.” James spoke softly, almost seeming disappointed. “But it doesn’t mean you are missing anything, more so that I am an idiot who didn’t realise.”

That she couldn’t disagree with too much but she also couldn’t help but think of how lucky he truly was to have found someone he was so eager to love with everything he had. They had never had that, and despite her own disappointment, she had never wanted that from him, had never felt that for him.

He had always wanted Lily, and he would never stop – not even now as they danced across the room from her friend, his eyes seeking her out and his mouth curling up into a smile that only Lily Evans could put on his face. It made her want to grab her friend and shake her shoulders, make her wake up and see what was in front of her waiting.

“It wasn’t like I told you and I can’t be angry when we made an agreement – plus it was fun while it lasted.” Instead she settled on staring up at him with a soft smile, taking a small step away.

“While it lasted?” James gasped but his mouth still curled in a small smile. “Are you breaking up with me, McKinnon?”

“I think you have a chance with her, one day, when she’s ready – though I think the more we do this, the smaller the chance gets.” Marlene admitted as she looked across the room, an amused smile making it’s way to her face as she spotted Lily watching them.

“And what if that never happens?”

“Then you know where to find me, Potter.” She grinned up at him, the joke removing all the sadness from the situation as he let out a laugh as they danced slowly, in a pattern that only two people who had been close could ever master – one built on true friendship and a special type of love.

“For what it’s worth, I am sorry.” He spun her around slowly and pulled her back, a bit more distance between them now but it was comfortable. “And you’ll find someone better one day, someone who will give you everything you wanted – someone who deserves to see the sweet and loving side of you.”

“You’re good man, James Potter, never let anyone tell you any different.”

“And you are one of kind, Marlene McKinnon, and one of the best friends a man could ever wish for.” The song finished when his words did, bringing an end to their dance and to their relationship and yet Marlene couldn’t help but smile as he sent her a wink and began walking back to their friends.

Marlene stayed in her place for a second longer, a part of her hoping he would turn around and tell her that he made a mistake – that he liked her as more than a friend but she was hoping for something she knew would never happened in her wildest dreams.

A sigh left her mouth as she took a couple of steps forward only be blocked off by Emmeline Vance and her sidekick Jenny Brown – both of them wearing bright coloured dresses that showed too much in Marlene’s humble opinion.

“Can I help you or you just here to annoyingly stand in my way?”

“We couldn’t help but overhear -”

“You could have.”

“And what a shame it is that James Potter rejected you for Miss Righteous over there – I personally would be very offended by now.” Emmeline lowered her head and whispered the words right into Marlene’s ear with a smirk that made her skin crawl.

“What are you not offended by, Vance?” Marlene asked as she pulled away, taking a step backwards and raising her eyes as Emmeline gave her a fake smile but it was as subtle as screaming in a quiet room and a waste of Marlene’s time.

She didn’t wait for the girl or her friend to respond, moving around them and gritting her teeth when she felt the tell tale sign of a foot being stuck out before her and her own feet stumbling. What a great night this would be, newly broken up, speaking to Emmeline and landing flat on her face in front of the old student body of there school. Fucking fantastic.

Before she could face plant, someone’s black robe covered body did a fantastic job of stopping her fall and turning her into a mere stumble. Her head turned to glare at Emmeline, dropping with a sigh as she turned back to the boy, lowering into a curtsey that her mother would have found atrocious but the boy seemed to get a chuckle at.

“Excuse me.”

“No problem, sometimes a persons foot just happens to be in the way.” Marlene gave her own chuckle as Emmeline let out a huff and stormed away, Jenny trailing behind her. “Have a good night.” He mumbled as Marlene quickly looked up.

He was turning away from her but it didn’t stop her from catching his eyes, bright blue and full of humour. She sent him a quick grin, not even bothering to ask his name as she turned to find her own friends, who had luckily been too into their own conversations to see such a reaction.

…

REMUS POV

“I have never danced so much in my life.” Lily claimed as stretched out her feet with a groan. The group had moved from the Great Hall and towards the Great Lake, a few students seemed to be lingering around as the dance began to slowly wind down. He doubted the teachers would even notice how many of their students had snuck away if their cheery faces and Slughorn’s wine was anything to go by.

“I wouldn’t call what you do dancing.” Sirius grinned cheekily at Lily. “The Giant Squid would have stepped on my feet less.” Sirius remarked, gesturing to where the tentacles appeared above the water.

“Well why don’t we see – I personally would be happy to throw you in there and get it started.” Lily hissed back, crossing her arms over her chest.

The group chuckled, turning to look at Sirius for his response only to find him staring out at the lake with nothing more than a small smile on his face. No one seemed to know what to do, how to respond and thus silence fell around them.

Remus had thought it would peaceful after tonight, that he would relish in his friends learning how to be quiet for once but instead it just made him shift in his spot and wonder what the fuck had happened between his friends tonight that had half of them not looking at anyone and the other half like they wanted to be somewhere else.

His eyes turned to Sirius who was drinking from the flask from earlier, eager to down his sorrows, and letting out a cry when Remus’ grabbed it from him. “As much as I love awkward silences, I think there are some things to get off our chest – I’ll go first.” He let out a deep breath, before taking a sip. “I’m – I have -”

“If this is about your time of the month, Remus, then I can assure you that we know.” Marlene muttered, rolling her eyes as Remus stared at her wide mouthed. If they had figured it out then had anyone else – were there other people walking through the school knowing what he was? “Relax, I find it in Lily’s notes when I was snooping around.”

Lily turned to look at Marlene but Remus was pretty sure he was still in shock, that hadn’t been what he had wanted to tell them – three of his friends already knew and he wasn’t even that close to Marlene and Lily. “I knew – doesn’t matter - I figured it out third year but I didn’t want to say anything or draw attention to it when it doesn’t change anything.” His mouth fell open as Lily sent him a small smile.

He closed it with the flask, taking a deep drink as Sirius snapped at him, taking back the flask. “Don’t drink it all.”

Yet Remus couldn’t help but laugh, here sat five people who knew and didn’t care. The exact opposite of what he had been told by his father since he was four. “I’m sorry...it’s just – what normal people would want to spend time with a terrifying monster everyday?” He laughed again as Hermione shook her head and let out a scoff.

“Mate, it’s a bit hard to be scared of someone who wear cardigans and eats more chocolate than normal.” James spoke before his sister could, grinning at his best friend as he sat beside Remus, leaning back into his hands.

“That doesn’t mean -”

“That you’re adorable and aren’t going to be convincing anyone here that we should be quaking in fear.” Hermione responded from his other side, her knees pulled up to her chest and her toes peaking out of the skirt, shoes long forgotten.

His cheeks turned red and he was sure everyone noticed. It was hard not to when he spent most of his time around Hermione feeling like some bumbling fool who wore blush like a painted whore – yet no one ever called him out on it, not even Hermione who would just offer him a kind smile and look away like she knew what she did but didn’t want to bring it to attention.

Or maybe she was unaware, she seemed rather ignorant to how all the boys couldn’t speak a single sentence in her presence or giggled like twelve year old girls – never noticing unless it came to Sirius.

His best friend. Who was laid on the ground, drinking from the flask and refilling it with his wand before it could empty, seemingly humming to himself and unaware of the sad frustrated eyes that Hermione...and Lily? Were sending him.

“Pads, are you just going to keep that to yourself?” Remus asked, grey eyes finding him along with a sloppy grin. Pissed. “I’m not dealing with him tomorrow.” He added turning to James.

James glared but then his mouth morphed into a giant smile that made Remus feel slightly nervous and queasy. “No problem with me, but that means you have to deal with him on his birthday.” Fuck.

Remus let out a groan that had James laughing – Sirius’ birthday was coming up which would mean a party which would mean Sirius pissed off his face and Remus being concerned that one day his friend was going to become an alcoholic that depended on his friends to look after him. But that was his birthday and it was allowed.

Tonight was different, Sirius wasn’t drinking out of joy of celebration, but instead whatever was bothering him, more than likely Hermione, and whatever had been said between him and Lily. His friend had never really learnt to handle criticism that well.

Not that it seemed to matter much now as Sirius was singing loudly to himself. “...what time it was and...lights are low...I leaned back on my radio – can you lean on a radio...doesn’t matter...some rock ‘n’ roll, lots of soul he said...Ziggy really sang, making us some voodoo…”

“He’s not even singing the correct song any more.” Lily hissed to Remus and Hermione, emerald eyes bright even in the night and slightly cloudy as Remus shrugged his shoulders and James gave a heaving sigh as he stood up.

“Alright Starman, I think it’s time for bed.” James muttered to his best friend, kicking him softly with his foot as Sirius stopped singing, reaching out a hand for James to pull him up.

“No -” He let out with a huff as James tried to steady him, his arm reaching around his friends back as Sirius patted his chest. “No, Ziggy, I have something to say.” He slurred out and Remus couldn’t help but clenched his teeth.

“Tonight might not be the best time, mate, why not say it in the morning?”

“’Cause, I might not rem..remem...yeah I’ll forget.”

“This is not going to be good.” Remus muttered under his breath.

“Friends and McKinnon…” Marlene rolled her eyes as Sirius stumbled, leaning back on James for support and turning a bit green in his face. “You all know me as the loveable, Siri, but there is one thing I haven’t been honest about.” His eyes turned to Lily and then Hermione, slightly more focused than before.

“Shit...Sirius.”

“I, Sirius Starman Black, am declaring that...that...relationships are a waste of time, and no matter how fit the girl is – it’s never worth it for more than a couple of hours - “ Sirius hiccupped and Remus cringed as everyone waited for whatever else the idiot was going to say. “ - which I can assure you is longer than James has ever managed.” It hadn’t been that.

“Hey!”

“Let’s not kid ourselves, Prongsie, we share a dorm.” Sirius mumbled, patting James’ chest again as he turned his eyes back to the girls, though mainly one girl. “Point is – everyone needs to get off my back – because we just can’t happen, I don’t want us to happen.” He was looking at Hermione now with strangely sad eyes. “So stop thinking whatever happened was a big deal, because it isn – is not and some people need to move on.” He punctuated the end of his sentence with a swig of the flask.

Remus stared in shock even as Hermione simply blinked, emotions shutting off behind a pale mask, and if he was anyone else then he would think she wasn’t effected but he could practically feel whatever hope she might have had ebbing away, see the scar left behind from the plaster that had been ripped off.

Personally he didn’t get what Sirius was playing at – the boy, while he enjoyed getting around, had always had something of a soft spot for Hermione and here he was possibly destroying any future between them, which he would no doubt regret.

“So in turn I think -”

“I think you’ve said enough, Sirius.” Marlene spoke coldly, standing up as Hermione lifted to her feet, brushing the back of her dress and looking more unbothered while her friends looked as though they were ready to pounce.

“And I think we’ve all done enough this evening – we should all go to bed, Merlin knows some of us are going to regret what they’ve done in the morning.” Lily sent a pointed look to Sirius who just shrugged his shoulders before turning to a bemused frown to James.

“Where are they going?” James grimaced, deciding not to answer, and looked to Remus, nodding towards the boys other arm.

So much for being off the hook tonight, but he didn’t voice his annoyance, moving to be a good friend instead so he could help James drag Sirius inside and towards his bed. “You’ve fucked up, Pads.” James whispered but Sirius head was already dropping and his feet were barely moving any more.

Remus hoped the kid had a massive headache in the morning to go with whatever regret he would be feeling.

Chapter Text

Saturday the 1^st of November 1975

War made people do terrible things, made them become terrible things, made them suffer with the memories of terrible things. Hermione had always heard that from her mother and she had always taken it as a form of truth when they watched documentaries about PTSD and Vietnam.

It had never occurred in her ten year old brain that she would be one of those people. Stood under the heat of the water, watching as it pooled pinkish red at her feet, mixing with the tears not doubt falling from her face – she could truly understand it now. War was a terrible thing – it twisted and changed you, it took people from you and made you see everything as another move on a chessboard – it made you give people up.

Watch them be cut down before you, eyes begging for help but a need to save yourself winning out. How had she left him there? Granted there hadn’t actually been much she could do for him without getting them both killed, without giving away their upper hand, but guilt never understood that logic. Even Harry struggled to understand that logic.

The shower turned cold and her skin red raw, prompting her to step out into the grungy bathroom. The mirror was fogged, and well she didn’t want to see the bushy hair or scars that littered her face, she needed to assess the latest damage done and if she could be bothered to fix it or leave it as a reminder of physical guilt.

A sigh left her mouth as she secured the towel, wiping her hand across the mirror and frowning. The same face stared back, though younger but with a shock of black curls and straighter teeth, clashing against the pale skin. But she knew this girl – it was her, in some way – Hermione Potter.

Hermione Granger, the thoughts seemed to change as she now stared back at the war ridden older girl before her with trauma fresh in her eyes and bones sticking out against the thin skin. Her voice a mere rasp when she spoke. “Do you remember this?”

Hermione tried, someone had died, been murdered but she couldn’t quite remember who – but it had been bloody and traumatic enough to effect everyone involved. Their story had ended so suddenly and hers had continued to the point of her gaining a new life, a new chance to be a child while righting the wrongs. Yet she couldn’t remember who it was and it was tearing her apart.

Someone she had cared about, big eyes and an innocence that had seemed to follow them throughout their life.

“Did they not mean anything to you any more?” Her head snapped up, moving to look past the bushy brown hair and focus on the boy now stood beside her old self, just like his father in every single way but the eyes – those were his mothers, bright emerald green and full of...distrust?

“Harry?” Her voice scratched through her throat, her hand reaching up to touch the cold dirty mirror, leaving a bloody hand print near his face as he moved closer. Her head turned, expecting to see him behind her but only the cold dark room remained with only her alone in it. “I have missed you -”

“I wish I could say the same but how can you miss someone you don’t know?” He question her, her heart all but dropped to the floor and tears stung her eyes. He stared at her as though she was some kind of stranger, a person he no longer knew. “Do you even think about me any more or is it solely about them?” His head nodded, indicating behind her.

Hermione didn’t need to turn but she did anyway, her friends stood there like statues in a shop, frozen in a single moment that highlighted their happiness and youth, she wanted them to move and fight for her – to tell Harry that she was the same person she had always been, that it had just been too long.

“Of course I think about you – all the time I think about you and the mission and -” She began, tears falling from her eyes as she faced Harry again, a small smile forming on his face.

“Yet you lie to me, the mission is nothing to you, not compared to what killing him would be.” A shiver ran through her spine, a cloaked man beside her, a frozen grin on his face and his wand in his hand. He remained a statue like her friends, yet she knew what he was capable of and Harry seemed to too. “My Hermione would have never been so petty and vindictive as to plan the death of her father.”

His words might have had meaning to her other half, who nodded her head in agreement, but they did nothing to her. She wasn’t Hermione Granger, she hadn’t been for a long time, her circumstances and life had been different, and if either of them had had a parent who was a murderer then that might not think twice about doing what she had to do to make sure he was gone.

Plus it wasn’t like she was out seeking the man, he was still locked away for the moment – a simple figment of her imagination at this moment and nothing more.

“You should kill him.” A voice seemed to whisper by her side, cold and high pitched in her ear, making her twist to look for the ghost.

A clattering had her head whipping the other way, a wand lay in the sink before the mirror. A wand she hadn’t seen in years, that now no longer felt like her own but instead felt like she was holding a part of someone else. Still she moved it, holding it before her and pointing it at her fathers grinning face, though she knew it wouldn’t help when she finally awoke, she could almost picture the joy she would get if he fell.

A hand reached through the mirror, a shade darker than her own, grabbing the wand and pulling it back, Hermione following rapidly only for her hand to meet a solid surface, the mirror only bending for one of them it seemed.

“Give it back.” Hermione whispered as the other Hermione twisted her wand around in her hand, frowning down at the wood as Harry simply glared at the mirror.

“Why did you take it?”

“Any magic she wants to do with this won’t work.”

“What do you mean?” Harry asked, taking the wand and inspecting it before shoving it back into Hermione Granger’s hands, seeming to have gotten what he needed for it. “It’s your wand.”

“Exactly it’s mine, but she is not me – not any more.” Granger spoke softly, a strange cold smile taking over her face as she sent a quick look to Harry and turned to face the mirror once more. "We are not the same person any more, we were at first, and maybe not so long ago but you've changed, and you're so protected by the name and status you carry that you've lost who you once we're. Do you remember running for your life or the torture you endured?"

A scream tore from Hermione’s throat, her hands reaching to grip the skin before her as her knees buckled under the weight of the pain ripping through her body and the echoes of Bellatrix’s cold laugh. It was pain she had wished she had forgotten that seemed to have been burnt into her skin, that lasted for seemingly seconds and hours at the same time, her brain trying to fight against the pain.

“Do you remember the pain of her knife?” Granger whispered tauntingly over the screams but Hermione heard her loud and clear as one hand slipped from her hold on the sink, the feeling of the words being craved into her arm and hot thick blood rolling to the tips of her fingers.

It was madness, her own mind torturing her with something she wanted to long forget.

“I remember!” Hermione spat out, the pain didn’t ease and her body shook but it didn’t stop her from pulling herself up and staring at her other self in the mirror. “I remember every scar, every night without food and I remember how much was sacrificed – don’t think I forgot.” Her words dripped from her tongue like venom as Harry flinched.

“And yet you forget him?”

Hermione cringed away, she could see it all now, the running – the pain, the guilt and blood that washed away in the shower. A decision she had made to save herself. The way those kind eyes had stared at her as she left him there, her own eyes now filling with tears. She had left Neville to die alone, a cruel and evil death without trying to save him.

“I could never forget any of it, even if I wanted too, and sometimes I do.” Hermione hissed out, the pain faded, leaving behind a slight burn as she glared at Granger. “Even as the future changes, the pain still lives inside me – yours and my own and I only have so much control.” Her words stumbled around and her tears ran down her face.

Her bloody hands pressed onto the mirror, a small crack echoing throughout the bathroom but she didn’t care to look, her eyes focused on herself and her not-even-alive best friend.

“You -”

“Our lives have been different, I have felt your pain, have been through everything you have – but you have never felt mine, you’ll never know what it is like to have a father murder your own mother – to have the weight of a future on your shoulders, to not have the room to make mistakes – you’ll never know.” Hermione whispered the last words as Granger tensed her jaw and narrowed her eyes.

“We may not know, but – I just want my Hermione back.” Harry whispered, his hand coming up to the mirror, almost as though he wished to come through, to feel her hand against his. Her head turned away, towards her friends, her heart longing for them to be here with them. “But you’ve made your choice – you’ve chosen them.” He sounded so sad and she wanted to assure him but what could she even say?

“It hurt to come back here, to let you go.” Hermione whispered, turning back to face Harry. “But you were long dead before I even made a choice and this is where I belong now – this is where I have to be to make sure we both get to live the better lives, and I can’t regret any of that, even if it means I’m different than who I once was.” He nodded his head and let out a choked sob as Hermione smiled tearfully.

Stepping back she stared at the mirror one last time as the cracks began to join from the edges, distorting her vision and cutting her connection with the pair.

…

“Is that my jumper?” James asked the second Hermione sat next to him in the Great Hall, her head thumping against the wood as she nodded her head and let out a groan. She couldn’t see her brothers concerned frown but she could feel it. “Are you alright? I didn’t think you had that much to drink last night…”

He left the question hanging in the air as she lifted her head and rested her face onto her hands and let out a sigh. “I didn’t...I just had a nightmare.” She whispered to him, though she knew Remus could hear them from across the table, his face twitching in concern as James wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her towards him to lay her head on his shoulder.

He had never asked but he knew she had them, had heard her when she first moved in and probably just assumed it was to do with her Grandparents but he had always been there to offer a shoulder to lay on or a hand to squeeze.

“Maybe you should get some dreamless sleep potion from Madam Pomfrey.” He suggested softly, his cheek laying on her head as Remus pretended to be interested in making three teas before him and sending first years still hoped up on sugar glares to keep them away. “I know you don’t like it but...it might help, this always seems to be a hard time for you.”

Because if everything goes to shit, you and Lily die in six years; She wanted to say but kept her mouth shut, sending Remus a smile as he placed one of the teas in front of her.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Here. Chocolate always makes me feel better.” Remus muttered with red cheeks as he placed a pain au chocolat onto her plate, eyes going wide as Hermione’s eyes stung with unshed tears and she gave him a wobbly smile. “Wait...I’m sorry...did I say something wrong?”

“No, Moony, it’s just reminds her of her Maman.” James explained softly as Remus frown confused but nodded his head nonetheless as James squeezed her to his side. “That and she always tends to be a bit emotional after nightmares.” Hermione sniffed and nodded her head in agreement, not moving away from her brothers comforting hold even as he tried to eat his breakfast with one hand.

“I’m sorry.” Remus muttered softly, patting her hand softly.

“Don’t worry, you didn’t -”

“Oh fuck Merlin, why did you let me drink so much last night?” Their conversation was interrupted by Sirius plonking down next to Remus and gripping his head with a loud groan that attracted attention.

Hermione shut her mouth and focused on her pastry. It wasn’t that she was annoyed with him, they had discussed this before and she knew he didn’t want a relationship but still it stung to know how much he hadn’t wanted one. Her hope had died when she realised that she couldn’t change his mind, when whatever he felt for her wasn’t enough to even give it a try.

So she had decided that she would move on, get on with her life and even go on dates before the war slapped her in the face. She deserved to give something else a try that wouldn’t make her feel like she was on an emotional roller-coaster waiting for the other person to stop stopping and starting.

“Why is no one showing me sympathy?”

“Your an arse.”

“Am I?” Sirius frowned, looking at each of the three with a frown. “What did I do?” Hermione kept her mouth closed as James rolled his eyes and took a sip of his tea.

“Opened your mouth.” Remus bit back with his own glare and Hermione couldn’t help but be surprised. Sure Sirius had clearly not thought before he spoke last night but it hadn’t been anything that they all didn’t already know.

“Is that all it takes these days?” Sirius asked with his own eye roll, grabbing a sausage and taking a bite before pointing it at James, who had nodded his head. “You all should know that I don’t tend to think before I speak so why do you all look like I stole your wand?” His eyes flickered to Hermione, a frown forming on his face.

“Well considering you managed to be a first class idiot who made his feelings known -” James began, stopping as Hermione lifted her head, she could see where this was going and how they were going to involve her in this.

“I’m going to go see if Lily and Marlene are awake.” She mumbled, stepping from her seat as James stared at her, concern dripping from him as he nodded his head and patted her back reassuringly. She wished he wouldn’t try and make things so obvious, that he wouldn’t make it look like she was upset about Sirius. Because she wasn’t.

“You’re still coming to my party tonight though, right?” Sirius asked suddenly as Hermione let out a breath and turned to face him, pushing away the part of herself that just wanted to swoon at those silver eyes.

“Your birthday isn’t until Monday.”

“Can’t exactly have a party then...well we could be it would be cut short and drinking would be limited.” Hermione narrowed her eyes as Remus pulled a face into his tea and James let out a snort but Sirius was still staring up at her with those hopeful eyes, unaware he’d trashed whatever was happening between them.

“Don’t you think you drank enough last night?” She asked cautiously.

“Yes, but I reckon a bit of hair of the dog is what I need.” He winked at her, his smile dropping some when she pursed her lips and looked away. “Come on, Mi’.” His voice dropped and Hermione couldn’t help the way her heart picked up slightly.

“I imagine I’ll be dragged down either way, so yes I’ll be there.” She sent him a quick look, trying her best to ignore the way his grin seemed to lighten a room.

“Great, then could you…” She didn’t wait for him to finish, turning her back and storming away as he turned with a pout to James and Remus.

…

“Why. Do. I. Have. Nothing. To. Wear?” Hermione punctuated each word with a sharp inhale and by sending a piece of clothing somewhere in the room. It wasn’t like she actually cared about dressing up...but well maybe Sirius had been right when he said that she might as well date the library, clearly she hadn’t been giving boys the right signal.

Even if there was no boys she was actually interested in that wanted her, well it didn’t hurt to show them that she was an option or give them a try.

"Merlins saggy left ballsack, what the fuck happened in here?" Hermione turned to see Marlene in the bathroom doorway, a towel wrapped around her and her golden hair dripping water onto the floor. "I didn't even know you owed this much clothing." She jested as she entered the room and sat on her bed.

"Hey Mar, did you...Oh my." Lily ran into the room from the stairs, stopping and frowning. “Hermione, have you gone to the bad place?” She asked, running over to kneel beside Hermione, grabbing her face and forcing her to look into those beautiful emerald eyes.

Hermione slapped Lily’s hands away, turning back to her trunk and letting out a groan. “I’m trying to find something to wear for this stupid party I’m all but being forced to attend.”

“What’s wrong with what you’re wearing?” Lily asked, settling her hands on her knees and frowning at Hermione’s current outfit.

“I wear this everyday – I need something...better.”

“What can be better than a turtleneck and your short skirt?” Marlene teased as she pointed her wand as her hair, a loud gust of air coming out like a hair dryer. “Unless that is you are trying to impress someone, Sirius perhaps.”

“Not him.” Hermione pushed away Marlene’s head as she leaned over, golden hair tickling Hermione’s nose. She refused to look at the girl in the eye, far too annoyed to be accused of lying today or whatever else Marlene could cook up in that head of hers.

“Wow, you move on fast.”

“Nothing to move on from.” Hermione sighed out, even as her heart gave a slight tug – she picked up a shirt and shook her head, throwing it somewhere else in the room. “I’m just trying to get out there like everyone keeps telling me to – and what better place to try than a party where half of the school is invited.” Lily looked amused and Marlene just raised and eyebrow and began sorting the clothes.

“You know if you want to make Sirius see what he’s been missing then I suggest that ACDC top and nothing else.” Hermione stared down at the top that was in her hands, something she had stolen from Sirius without actually remembering – but it was soft and him and...well it need to be returned to him.

“Both of you either need to offer suggestions or fuck off.” Hermione snapped, throwing the top near the door and glaring at her friends.

“That was a suggestion.” Marlene muttered, rolling her eyes and giving up on the clothes.

“Hermione, just wear what you are comfortable and see where the night goes...when we said get out more we just meant don’t limit yourself to your brother and his friends, us or the library.” Lily whispered softly, patting her leg and standing up.

Hermione felt her bottom lip pull out in a pout but Lily was right, she was always right. Her friends seemed to have other friends, or people they spoke to – people they got on well with and Hermione was just stuck with the five of them, pretending the rest of the student body didn’t exist unless they were in her face.

“I meant she should get a boyfriend, nothing like getting out there in a broom cupboard.” Marlene was saying as Hermione scrunched up her nose and turned to face her best friend.

“I’m going to pretend you aren’t talking about my brother.”

...

The party was in full swing by the time they made it down there – full of hormonal writhing teenagers who were desperate to get there hands and lips on anything that attracted them in the slightest. What was it about reaching the fifth year that seemed to have so many of her fellow students eager to give it up? And why was she, Hermione, so fucking scared of giving any of these boys a try?

She wasn’t a prude and technically a part of her mind had already done the snogging and shagging in a broom cupboard – even if she put a great amount to never think about it – but in this regard it seemed like Hermione Granger had been a lot less afraid of trying things unlike herself.

And the torturous thing was, was that Hermione did want it. She was a teenage girl and she was surrounded by boys that were apparently attractive – and she was sixteen and had been on one date with McLaggen of all people and had kissed her brothers best friend twice! While everyone else spent their time shopping around.

“Now that is not what you want to see.” Marlene whispered, bringing Hermione back from her staring of the many boys in the Common Room to see Jenny Brown with her tongue down someone’s throat.

“Oh look, the unholy trinity has finally arrived.” The three girls turned their heads to meet the blue eyes and sneer of Emmeline Vance, her deep hair falling smoothly over her copper skin – groaning in unison.

“I’ve been called worse.” Marlene threw off with a wave of her hand, smiling widely when Vance pursed her lips. Nothing made Marlene happier than pissing of Emmeline or Jenny.

“I’m still trying to figure out what it is I’ve done that can be considered unholy.” Lily spoke bemused, her eyes narrowing and her tongue running over her teeth as she clearly tried to recall what it was she had done but seemed to be coming up blank.

“Don’t you know, redheads have no soul.”

“I forgot about that.”

“Did you need something else, Emmeline?” Hermione asked over Marlene and Lily who were chuckling to themselves, a sweet smile on her face as Vance narrowed her eyes and turned on her heel – storming away from them. “Guess she didn’t – one day I’m going to figure out what her problem is and then make her shove it up her arse.”

Marlene chortled and Lily shook her head, while Hermione mimed punching the girl in the face. It wasn’t that Hermione hated her, she knew what the future held for Emmeline – murdered by Death Eaters in 1996, but she couldn’t stand the bitchy attitude the girl gave off and prayed everyday that she would grow out of it.

Until then she could deal with the limited interaction that happened when the woke up, when they went to class and when they went to bed – all of which could be avoided if you did those things before her.

A sigh left her mouth as she scanned the crowd and turned back to her two friends. “Where’s James...”

“No!”

“Found him.” Marlene said as her brother came strolling past, all but chasing after Sirius who was trying to hide behind Remus.

“For fucks sake...no.”

“It’s my birthday.” Sirius pouted, clutching something close to his chest and diving out of the way when James attempted to reach for it, glasses slipping low on his nose and his hands moving Remus like a blockade to prevent Sirius from escaping.

“Not for another two days and I don’t care.” James snapped, doing some fancy spin and grabbing Sirius from behind. If Hermione was sure what was going on then she might have told Sirius to not try and keep something away from a chaser.

“Well let me celebrate early.”

“By letting you drink this?” James asked, moving slightly and pulling the bottle from Sirius, which Hermione was now sure was a bottle of absinthe – which she was also sure was illegal. He shoved it into Remus’ chest and sent a glare at the werewolf. “You’re supposed to be watching him tonight.”

Remus opened his mouth to say something, his eyes drifting to the three girls as he let out a sigh and a grin. “Thank Merlin, I missed you all!” He moved faster than Hermione had ever seen, his long arms stretching out and pulling them into a strange hug that just felt like they were groping each other.

“Not that I’m not loving this, Remus, but Lily’s got her hand lodged somewhere that might just make this hug into something a little more adult.” Marlene mumbled, her head pressed into his neck but he seemed to hear her just fine as he let them go.

“I did not – you were the one feeling my arse.” Lily snapped, her cheeks bright red as she brushed off her shirt and crossed her arms over her chest as Marlene shrugged her shoulders.

“Well at least you aren’t getting molested by Remus.” Marlene pointed out as Hermione tried to move away from the handsy werewolf who didn’t seem to know where he was putting his hands, but was just trying to hold onto her. “Hey, at least you got your wish of getting out there – though I did think it would be away from friends.” Hermione sent Marlene a glare as Lily raised her hand to slap the girls arm.

“Moony, mate -”

“Is he drunk?” Hermione asked her brother as he let out a sigh and began pulling Remus away from her. He didn’t answer and so she turned to the boy in question. “Remus, are you drunk?”

“Do you want to dance?” He asked her with a grin, moving away from James who seemed to have given up. Hermione blinked up at the green eyed boy, his hair messy and the smell of slight alcohol coming from him.

He didn’t wait for her to answer, clearly eager to get out there with the other bodies and away from their friends that he grabbed her hand and pulled her along, the bottle of absinthe still in his other hand as his head nodded to the music – a band Hermione didn’t even know but no doubt Sirius listened to because it was loud and sounded Muggle.

“So I see carefree Remus has joined us tonight.” Hermione spoke softly though she knew he could hear her, spinning her around and then waving his hands in the air.

“I deserve it after dealing with those two idiots.” He spoke gesturing to the two boys who were bickering with each other over something – James’ face pulled into a deep frown and Sirius’ eyes wide as he gestured in their direction. “Well more so Sirius than James – he’s the biggest idiot in the land and I’m sorry he hurt you last night.”

Hermione let out a breath and turned back to face Remus, her tongue coming out to wet her lips as she offered him a small smile. “He didn’t.”

He gave her a look, one that she had seen many times throughout their schools years and in her old life, though never really directed at her – one that told her he didn’t believe a word that came out of her mouth. He spun her around and let out a sigh. “He never thinks and he’ll regret it one day.” He whispered the words lowly to her, his breath fanning across her face.

She couldn’t help but stare at him as he pulled back, face looking younger than she had ever known him, gone was the distance from those kind green eyes, the shaggy hair growing darker with every passing day, flicking around his head and hiding some of his faded scars from view – and a handsome smile on his face.

Once upon a time, Hermione Granger had crushed on Professor Remus Lupin, had thought him intelligent and handsome despite the greying hair and the deeper scars – if only she could see him now – young and full of life. He was handsome and sweet and everything that a girl should have been looking for in a boyfriend, yet Hermione couldn’t muster up even an ounce of romantic emotion for him.

It would make her life easier, she wasn’t ignorant to the blush and unmeeting eyes when he felt shy, and they would have a time limit, for she refused to get in the way of Dora, but the image refused to spring to life – she couldn’t imagine them kissing or walking holding hands – she couldn’t imagine losing her friend.

“If only things had been different.” Hermione whispered as he spun her back out, his eyes seemed to understand as he nodded his head and offered her a small smile.

“I think that’s enough mush for the moment...how about we forget all our problems and we crack open the green devil?” He showed her the bottle, grinning mischievously as he let go of her hands and Hermione raised an amused eyebrow.

“I agree with but how about we stick to the alcohol that won’t make us see the fairies.”

“That might be a good idea – but let me just hide this.” Remus whispered, moving to the sofa where a couple were snogging, or eating each other – it was hard to tell, barely budging them as he stuffed the little bottle into the couch cushions. “Let’s go.”

His bright eyes turned to face her, his hands clapping together as he reaching out for her hand, Hermione let out a laugh and let him pull her along – only stopping so he could reach out and grab Lily along the way.

“What’s happening?” Lily asked with an amused smile, looking up at Remus as he came to a stop in front of the over crowded and well stocked drinks table that had been set up.

“We’re doing shots.”

…

There was something amusing about not being drunk but watching drunk people, like watching toddlers through slightly cloudy eyes, as they ran around on uncertain feet, stumbling around muttering non-sense sentences while trying to drink from their adult cups and then crying when it spilt down their fronts – their more sober friends running to clean them up like parents.

Hermione was glad that her friends seemed to have better management of themselves in their drunk state and she was left just watching them – mainly Remus and Lily who were pissed off their faces and dancing together like they were in some club, mouthing words to songs she was pretty sure they didn’t actually know the lyrics to.

Such a good look for two respectable Prefects.

“Is Evans pissed?” Hermione looked to her right where James was now stood, a full cup in his hand and an amused smile on his face. He didn’t seem drunk, much like her, he just seemed to be enjoying the atmosphere. “Do you think if I took a photo of this, that she would kill me?”

“Maybe not now but in the morning, yes.” Hermione muttered as she took a look around the room, she could hear Sirius but couldn’t see him and that was fine with her for the moment, right not she was more concerned with where her other best friend was. “Is Marly not with you?”

James gave her a tight grin, pointing at some darkened corner where Marlene’s golden head of hair could be seen as some guy whispered something in her ear that made the girl grin. Hermione turned back to her brother, move opened and ready to speak but he beat her too it. “Relax, it’s fine – we ended things last night.”

“Oh shit...still she moves fast, shouldn’t she...I’m sorry.” Hermione winced, taking a sip of her drink and moving her eyes away.

“I was a bit too but it’s not like we were in love, she deserves better than some guy who couldn’t see her as anything more.” James answered and Hermione couldn’t help but smile at her maturing brother, despite the fact that he had been shagging her best friend for months and mooning after Lily for years.

“And that’s that boy?”

“No, that’s her rebound and I doubt he minds – I don’t even mind, though it will take more than Mr Muscles to get over me.” James tensed, pulling himself up to his full height and pushing out his chin. He looked more a lanky child trying to intimidate a ghost.

“Of course, baby brother.” Hermione chuckled out, pulling on his one chin hair and laughing when he slapped her hand away with a pout.

“You’re only older than me by six months and...Hermione?” Her tongue ran over her teeth and her cup seemed to fold under her fingers like it was a piece of paper, she frowned and dropped it to the floor as all the noise faded away.

She was never under any impression that Sirius and her would have more, but standing in the crowd on his birthday, watching him shove his tongue down some unknown girls throat, hands gripping at the exposed skin without a care, hurt more than she thought it would or it should. He had made a choice and she accepted that.

Even if he was a rake.

“Are you ok?” A frown made it’s way to her face as she turned to face James.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Hermione asked lightly, grabbing her brothers drink and taking a sip. “He’s always been free to do what he wants.” Even if that’s not me, the idiotic part of her brain, that was clearly soaking in all it’s teenage angst, taunted her.

“Yeah but -”

“But nothing – did I think something more could happen? Maybe. But I should have known better, he’s never been the type since he got his first erection and I don’t think he ever will be, he made that much clear yesterday.” Hermione snapped, placing the cup of the side and glaring at James.

“I get it – he was a dick, who didn’t know what he was saying.” James tried to defend his friend but who both knew the lie that littered his words. Sirius wasn’t stupid and whether he may act like he didn’t remember, they all knew he didn’t forget that much when he was drunk and was avoiding it like an awkward conversation.

They stood there in silence, watching their friends having more fun than the pair of them currently were, waiting for the other to make the move as Lily and Remus moved on to throwing their arms around each others waist and spinning around in a circle.

“Listen James -”

“I know it doesn’t make it better and I know he hurt you but I think there was a reason he was being that much of a cunt yesterday.” James began, cutting her off and letting out a sigh. “I don’t know what it says, but I doubt it’s pleasant, but he got a letter from his parents a couple of days ago and he’s been in a shit mood since.” Hermione clicked her tongue against her teeth and let her shoulders drop.

She didn’t have to know what it said to know that it probably contained the consequences of his actions or what would be expected of him now that he was just over a year away from being of age. But she couldn’t exactly just let everything drop because he got a mean letter.

James seemed to sense that from her too as he laid a hand on her arm. “I know you’re annoyed, but maybe don’t go too hard on him – I think he’s struggling with things he’s not ready to talk about yet.”

No, he would just run away from home and never share what had happened with anyone who cared about him.

“Of course.” She settled for instead.

James nodded his head, seeming to drop the conversation when he saw someone walk past. “Hey Zach.” The boy, or really man, turned with a wide grin, holding out his hand to shake James’, even as Hermione elbowed her brother in the ribs. “What the fuck...fine...Hermione this is Zachary Townsend, Zach this is my sister, Hermione – happy now?”

“Hi Hermione, nice to meet you.” Zach said with the same grin, moving warm his hand from James’ to hold Hermione’s – his skin a few shades darker than hers but pinkish in undertone. His light brown hair flicked around the pretty face and light brown eyes, and soft lines formed in his cheeks and eyes as he grinned.

“You too.” She stuttered back as he slowly released her hand and placed them in his pockets. “I’m sorry I don’t...what house are you in?” Her voice squeaked out as her eyes turned wide and her hand flew up to her throat.

“Gryffindor.”

“Oh...wow I really am unaware – please tell me you are not in my year, that might make me feel worse.” Her cheeks turned red but at least her voice sounded normal and she wasn’t sweating.

He let out a laugh that was warm like honey. “No, seventh year, but don’t worry about it – I spend most of my time studying in my dorm...plus I think you’ve had your hands far too full to even notice anyone else though that doesn’t mean people haven’t noticed you.” Hermione felt a small smile curve on her lips as James let out a scoff.

“Well it was nice to see you Zach but -”

“What are you doing tomorrow?” Hermione asked suddenly, seeming to shock both her brother and Zach, though one looked more happy than the other.

“I was just going to study in the library, nothing too special.” Zach explained, his cheeks turning a bit pink like he wished he had said something else but Hermione smiled easily and tilted her head to the side as he flicked a hair off his face.

“Would you mind if I joined you? I have an essay due in Potions -”

“No we don’t.”

“- perhaps you wouldn’t mind helping me out.” Hermione finished, cutting off her brother with a grin as Zach nodded his head and ignored the boy too.

“I’d love to – we can meet here, if you want or after breakfast, whichever is easier for you.” He stumbled over his words, seeming a bit more flustered in a way that was quite adorably Remus and offered her some comfort from her own blushing cheeks.

“Let’s say here, midday.” She assured him as he let out a sigh, reaching out to pat his arm.

“Great...well I’ll see you then.” He grinned shyly at her.

“I look forward to it.” Hermione assured him as he nodded his head and mumbled something under his breath, turning and stopping to chat with a few more friends before climbing up the stairs, cheeks still red and a grin still on his face.

“What the fuck was that?” James asked harshly as Hermione turned to face him with a soft smile. “Not too minutes ago you were heartbroken over Sirius.” She refused to let his point bring her down from what had been a pleasant and more normal conversation than she had with any other boy.

“I’m getting myself out there – he seems nice and handsome, if nothing else then I’ll gain a friend.” Hermione explained, turning her head to look where Zach had disappeared, her eyes moving by themselves to find Sirius still in snog with the girl.

Moving on seemed like the better idea.

…

Sunday the 2^nd of November 1975

Hermione snickered as she and Lily walked into the Common Room – cleaner than the night before with no remnants of a party except for the black messy head that was sat on the sofa.

She crept her way forward, leaning over the side and chuckling at Remus whose head lay on a pillow in her brothers lap, James hand resting on his head – quite intimate and would only fuel the rumours of the boys love triangle if anyone else saw them.

Lily laughed too before letting out a hiss and collapsing into the single armchair, pushing her sunglasses further up her nose and pulling on the messy bun that sat on top of her head. James moved at the sound, frowning at the redhead and tilting his head back to look at his sister.

“Morning – why are sleeping here?” Hermione asked softly as James tried to close his eyes again, letting out a groan and rubbing his tired eyes under his glasses, the hazel brighter inside the slightly redden skin.

“Sirius got up there before us, locked the door and all but refused to help me bring Remus to bed.” He answered, voice raspy, his eyes shifting to a red cheeked Lily who was shifting in her seat. Hermione smirked and poked Remus in the cheek, laughing when he weakly slapped her hand away. “Nice jumper, Evans.”

“Fuck off, Potter.”

“Rude – I should ask for it back.” Lily’s mouth opened slightly as she looked down at the oversized jumper she had stolen from Hermione, looking between the siblings and at Hermione’s own oversized jumper before seeming to realise it wasn’t some fashion choice.

Whatever she had been preparing to say was cut off with a sigh as she sagged back against the sofa. “I can’t even be bothered to care, we’ll see how I deal later when I don’t feel like a flobberworm.”

Hermione let out a small chuckle, leaning further over the sofa to play with Remus’ darkening hair, the dirty blond seeming to shift into a more mousy colour with every passing year – and she knew it wouldn’t be long before the greys started appearing – before the wear and tear of the full moon caught up to him.

She hoped she could remember the potion by then. Or find Belby, she had the money, she could afford to supply Remus for the rest of his life but for now it just seemed to be a waiting game.

“That’s nice.” The werewolf in question mumbled out, snuggling in his face even more into the pillow as Hermione scratched his hair like he was a dog.

“Better not be too nice, it’s my lap your laying on.” James shoved his friend as Remus blinked open an eye, turned pale and closed it within a few seconds, not caring where or who he was laid on in this minute.

“I miss my bed.”

“Then we should get you back in it.” Hermione spoke softly, moving around the sofa to stand before Remus, picking up his shoes and throwing them into Lily’s lap – the witch letting out a groan. Remus blinked up at her, his cheeks turning a soft pink and his hands reaching out.

“I’m right here.” James protested as he moved out slowly from his position.

“Get your mind out of the gutter.” Hermione snapped, reaching for one of the boys hands. “Come on...he can’t keep you out your room all morning too, or the shower.” James nodded his head, moving for the other hand as Lily stood up and offered a slight support by placing one hand on Remus’ back.

The journey up the stairs wasn’t easy – Remus seemed to have lost control of his feet and was mumbling with every passing step that the Potter siblings had to drag him up, with James claiming they should have just levitated him.

It would have been easier, but no doubt the werewolf would have vomited with every wave of his body, at least now he only had a green tinge. And Lily made fast work of using her wand half-drunk to get the dormitory door open for them.

Remus seemed to find his feet as they entered the room, stumbling over nothing towards his bed, leaving the three to follow after him slowly. He turned to smile at them, his smile dropping fast and a rather high pitched scream leaving his mouth as he pointed behind them.

The three turned, differing reactions leaving them. Lily tipped her glasses onto the end of her nose and gave an approving smirk, Hermione raised her eyebrows and James looked disgusted at the sight of his best friends arse on full display. “What the fuck?”

The boy in question didn’t even move at the scream or exclamation of disgust but instead carried on sleeping rather cutely in Hermione’s opinion – his mouth open for soft snores, his hair fanned around his face and his black lashes all but fanned across his cheeks. She couldn’t even stop the small smile that made it’s way to her face as she tried to watch him in the least perverse way.

James didn’t seem to have the same opinion as he moved forward with the blanket from his bed, ready to throw it on Sirius to either give him some modesty or for himself. Though it didn’t last long. “AHHHH!” He stumbled backwards, dropping the blanket at the end of the bed and gripped his eyes. “No! No! No!”

It seemed that woke Sirius and apparently his bed guest that they had missed up, the girl in question shooting up and covering herself with a blanket as Hermione and Lily scrunched up their faces in disgust and Remus turned green.

“Emmeline?” Hermione couldn’t help but ask as Sirius blinked and pushed up his torso a bit, a frown on his face as he took in the people in his room. “Have you gone insane?” She hissed out at the boy, moving a step closer only to be pushed back by James.

“Jealous, Potter?” Emmeline asked with a grin, flicking her unbrushed hair from her face and revealing a hickey on her neck. Hermione was just glad she had the decency to cover herself up with the sheet.

“What?” James squeaked.

“Not you, boy Potter.” Emmeline exclaimed, her smirking face and comment ruined, and by Remus gagging behind them. “Is he going to throw up because he can’t do that here.” Entitled little bitchy Princess, hissed Hermione’s thoughts.

“His room, he can do what he wants – in fact I think I might be sick.” Lily added, rubbing Remus gently on his back and turning her own face away. Hermione couldn’t blame her, she was feeling a bit queasy herself.

“I think I need someone to scourigfy my eyes.” James mumbled, taking off his glasses and letting out a sigh as his eyes watered.

“Don’t be dramatic.” Sirius spat back into his pillow.

“Dramatic? Your arse is on show for everyone to see – put some clothes on or I’m not speaking to you.” James squeaked out as Sirius raised his head to glare at James, a small smirk forming on his face that had Hermione rolling her eyes.

She could have seen it coming before Sirius even muttered a small fine, a last way to annoy James by climbing out of bed and putting himself on full display, he looked at everyone but Hermione, hands on his hips and proud of what he clearly had to offer. Not that Hermione could blame him, her cheeks were bright red and her mind was drifting to places that she didn’t want to think of.

James spluttered out a few sentences that made no sense before he decided on shouting. “Sirius, for fucks sake – Evans, Hermione, close your eyes.” James reached her first, gripping her shoulders and turning her around to face Remus.

“I didn’t take you for someone to shave the downstairs banana.” Lily giggled, stumbling over her own feet as James did the same to her.

“Think about that area of me a lot, Evans?” Sirius responded, the sound of clothing being pulled on heard, and Hermione found herself slightly disappointed.

“She’s still drunk, clearly.” James hissed out, gripping Remus and moving him to lay down on his bed, who let out a sigh of content and closed his eyes.

“You can turn back around, I’m decent now.”

“No you are not.” James snapped but he looked anyway. “Dirty is what you are.” He added as he nodded for the girls to turn around. Though more covered than before, it wasn’t well covered, he was missing his top and his pants were a second from falling down his hips – it also wasn’t a sight that Hermione was angry about seeing.

“I think I’m going to throw up.” Remus choked out, James sent a look to Sirius who pursed his lips and rolled his eyes but moved to grab something from the corner of the room, a bucket, placing it before Remus head as it hung off the bed.

“And that’s my cue to leave.” Emmeline muttered, throwing the cover off – Hermione sighed, thanking that the girl had clearly dressed in their distraction. She threw a wink to Sirius who just smiled unsure and then she left with a smirk for Hermione.

“And here I thought you had standards.” Hermione smiled sweetly, holding the door as Emmeline passed through it.

“I do and Sirius -”

“I was talking to Sirius.” Hermione spoke sweetly again, slamming the door closed in the girls face as Lily cackled and then let out a sigh. They heard a shout through the wood, a stomping of a foot, followed by the telltale sounds of Emmeline storming off.

“Marlene is going to be sad she missed this.”

“What, Sirius’ arse?” James asked. “Or Emmeline – ew – Merlin I think they’ve actually made me go blind.” He shook his head as he tripped over something on the floor and landed on his own bed with a sigh.

Hermione grimaced as the sound of vomit hitting the bottom of the bucket was heard throughout the room, Remus gagging on whatever was coming out – the whole room seeming to go quiet as Sirius patted his back. Despite that fact, Remus clearly still had something to say on the subject. “Honestly, Pads, I thought you had more class than her.”

She wanted to believe that Sirius didn’t look at her for the sole reason that he was focused on Remus, but when his silver eyes flickered towards her direction and Lily and James seemed to both be staring at her, she knew what they were all thinking of and her heart ached slightly in her chest.

…

Hermione shifted nervously as she sat beside Zach, their quiet energy doing nothing to ease the sudden anxiety that seemed to have filled every bone in her body. They had had polite chat on their walk here, but now they were here she wasn’t actually sure what to do.

Her hands brushed over her skirt, reaching up to push the curly plait over her shoulder as she gulped and took a chance to look at him. He was attractive, in a kind soft way, and she would lying if she said that wasn’t the first reason she had wanted to get to know him but watching him concentrate on his school work seemed to work her up in some way too.

Maybe she was just hormonal and desperate to move on from the boy that seemed to light her on fire, but she wasn’t disappointed by the man before her.

His brown eyes looked up at her, a small smile on his face which quickly turned into a grimace. “Ah, I’m sorry, I said I would help you and here I am concentrating on my own stuff – sorry.” There was a slight Northern twang in his voice, adding to the deepness.

Hermione shook her head and smiled. “No, don’t worry – you have things to focus on and I’m sure my potions essay is pretty much complete -” And non- existent. “ - so yeah, don’t worry.” She finished lamely, dropping her quill beside her parchment full of random notes.

“Hm.” Zach answered, looking down at his own work and closing his book. “Are you hungry?” He asked as Hermione frowned, watching as he looked down at his watch.

“Sorry?”

“Maybe the library isn’t the best place to talk...and I do want to talk to you, so how about we get some lunch and have a little chat.” Hermione frowned and looked down at her own watch, lunch wouldn’t be too crowded and it would have a casual atmosphere that wouldn’t seem too forward.

“That sounds lovely.” He gave her a grin, packing his stuff in his bag and waiting for her to follow as he led them out of the library, his arm brushing hers.

The stayed quiet for a couple of floors, simply walking together like it was normal. Hermione couldn’t help but fidget with her hair again, one of her hands moving to brush off invisible lint from her top and open robes.

“Did I mention that you looked nice?” Zach asked her suddenly as Hermione stared up at him wide eyed, he didn’t look her up and down with half hooded eyes or offer her a leering smirk, but instead it was quick and honest and very much appreciated.

“Thank you – you too.” He grinned down at her as Hermione blushed. She could appreciate the green jumper that peaked out of his own robes – he seemed to lean more towards simple Muggle fashion that complimented him – unlike some who clashed all the colours of the rainbow together.

They carried on speaking as they neared the Great Hall, talking about school subjects and simple things – like James and his pranks to the small harmless gossip. The chatter continuing as they sat themselves down on an empty part of the table, reaching for food and filling up their cups.

“So tell me about Hermione Potter.”

“I’m pretty sure you’ve heard everything you need to know.”

“Some things, though I’m of the mindset that not every rumour is true.” Zach claimed, waving the sandwich in his hand around as he levelled her with a look. “You’ve had a harder life than most and people just see that as an opportunity to say whatever they want about you.” Her smile dropped slightly as she looked down at her plate.

“That they do.” This whole school was interested in the next big news and who it effected so they could spread it on with their lies and paint a picture that was false in every way.

“I mean I hardly believe you spend your days planning on how to steal every boy away.” Hermione glanced up as Zach smiled kindly but his eyes were full of amusement as Hermione gave him her best annoyed face.

“Not in the slightest.”

“Or that you and Lily are in a competition over who can get James.”

“Ew...no!” She answered disgusted – never in a million years. Despite the lack of blood, they were family and had been raised as siblings, they were siblings and she was never ever ever going to see him as anything else unless she wanted to part take in true incest.

“Or that the reason your hair is so big and curly is because it’s full of secrets.” He whispered the last part as Hermione let her disgust drop and an amused smile take it’s place.

“Wait, that’s a rumour?”

“See – everything everyone says is bullshit, I’d like to get to know the real Hermione, not the fake one everyone else sees.” He said it so earnestly that she couldn’t help but blush slightly and look away. How nice to have someone she barely knew take an interest in her – it made her inside warm slightly and her hands sweat.

“How about for every question you ask you also have to answer?” She grinned impishly as he gulped but nodded his head in agreement.

And so they spoke through bites of sandwiches and sips of pumpkin juice. Every question was answered, from James to Zach’s own siblings (older sister and brother), from being Pureblood to being Half-blood and the effect it had on family members that were out of the loop. They spoke about birthdays (August 1958) and events, to hobbies and friends.

It was friendly and calm. Her own friends were everything she had ever needed, all different and great for things, but she had forgot what it was like to reach out of a bubble and find other people to connect with. To gain something else that she hadn’t realised had been missing, to know that perhaps her friends were right.

“What is it you want to do when you leave?” Hermione asked, picking at her sandwich and leaning onto the table as Zach thoughtfully chewed.

“I always thought about being a teacher – though for the moment my dad has got me some assistant job lined up at the Ministry – not exactly what I wanted but it will do for the moment.” He answered with a tighter smile than usual and Hermione supposed he wasn’t ready to go into that with someone he had just actually met the day before. “And you?”

“I think everyone expects me to join James in becoming an Auror, but I always thought I would like to get into something with Magical beings and their unfair treatment in the Wizarding World.” Word vomit fell from her mouth and her eyes closed.

It wasn’t something she often blurted out, if twenty year from now nothing had changed then 20 years in the past wouldn’t be any better, but perhaps because they hadn’t stopped talking in the past hour and a half, her brain had decided it would be a good idea and judging by the shock on Zach’s face it wasn’t.

“Don’t you own a house-elf?” He asked with narrowed eyes as Hermione clicked her tongue and tensed her jaw.

“Yes but Poppy is very well cared for, she earns money and she has made a choice to stay with us.” Hermione bit back, her hands clenching and her eyes scanning for the best way to leave this situation. “I can’t say the same for house-elves in other pureblood houses.” Her nose tilted up slightly and she spotted Alice Prewett speaking to some friends.

Zach let out a laugh that had Hermione turning to face him. “Shit sorry – I didn’t mean to offend you, it’s just – well I never expected that to be what you wanted to do – I thought you were pulling my leg.” Her mouth opened but closed once he started talking again. “I’ve been telling my friends and family for years that their treatment is unfair – they all just nod their heads and go back to their own lives.” Her anger dropped and her eyes narrowed.

“You’re not just saying this to -”

“Put some kind of move on you?” Her head nodded and his smile dropped a bit. “I’d never do that – I actually agree with you.” His eyes bled honesty, every emotion swirling around and providing her with answers. “Of course, being a Potter, you’ve probably got more chance in making a difference but you can guarantee on having at least one supporter.” He grinned at her.

Hermione nodded her head and she smiled tensely. “I think in this case my name won’t do much for me, and considering who it and I are connected to – I’m not sure I want it to.”

Zach chewed on his sandwich thoughtfully, placing the crust back on his plate and rubbing his hands over the material of his robes, Hermione held her breath as she waited for him to answer or to get up and storm away at the reminder of her biological family.

“Just because we share blood with someone doesn’t mean they have any influence on us – your family are the Potter’s and James who have gone away from the Pureblood mania to support claims and rights of Muggleborns, Half-Bloods and modern rights – people would have to be stupid to see how you are more like them than anyone else you might be related to.” He spoke as though it was fact, crumbling a part of her walls she hadn’t realised she had kept up.

For someone who claimed she was fine, she hadn’t seen how much she might have needed to hear that, even if it was from someone who more of a stranger than a friend – from someone who was taking his time to see her as who she really was.

A small smile made its way to her face as he moved on from the subject, going on to tell her something about his family that had her chuckling and nodding her head – sharing her own stories about growing up with James.

…

Wednesday the 5^th of November 1975

“Why am I only just finding out now that you had some kind of date with ‘The Zachary Townsend’ on Sunday!” Marlene all but shrieked as she flew herself into the seat opposite Hermione, who had her spoonful of oatmeal half way to her mouth.

“It wasn’t a date.”

“Is that his official name?” Lily asked, frowning at Marlene who was elbowing her side with her eager hands.

“Makes him sound like a Lord.” Remus added from Hermione’s side, a cheeky grin on his face that Hermione was tempted to smack off.

“And it would fit him if he was one...he’s like an intelligent gentleman and model all wrapped into one beautiful package.” Marlene sighed dramatically, craning her head backwards to look for him at the table, her legs kicking out and hitting Hermione’s.

“You’re too kind with your flattery, Mar.” Her whole body tensed as Sirius appeared on her other side, far too close and pushing her further into Remus, as James sat beside a frowning Lily, a crooked grin on his face and his eyes staring into her own.

“Not you, idiot – Zachary!” Marlene snapped back, slamming her hands on the table and glaring at Hermione.

“So you told her?” James chuckled, seeming happy that Lily hadn’t told him to get lost and put five feet of space between them. A win in his book no doubt, and one that seemed to make Lily’s cheeks even pinker than usual.

“No she didn’t, I had to hear it from Emmeline – who I can’t believe you slept with, that’s low, even for you.” Marlene spoke dryly, focusing on an uncomfortable Sirius for a few minutes before she turned back to Hermione. “And I heard this three days later, might I add!” Hermione cringed and shook her head, trying to move her arm away from where it was brushing Sirius’.

“It wasn’t a date, all we did was talk.” Hermione explained, her head dropping low as Remus reached up to touch a pink cheek and give her an impish grin.

“What is happening?” Sirius asked, Hermione could feel him looking at her but she refused to look back and instead focused on glaring at Remus, mouthing for him to stop as he nudged her with his elbow.

“Apparently Hermione and Zachary Townsend were all flirting at your party – and then they had lunch together on Sunday and spent hours talking and laughing!” Marlene cried, slapping her hand on the table again and sending some of Lily’s tea of the edge of her mug.

“Zach – but he doesn’t play Quidditch.” Sirius said shocked and lamely.

“If he did then no one else would stand a chance.”

“And imagine that being a factor in whether you date someone or not.” Lily spoke dryly, rolling her eyes as James’ mouth opened and closed like a fish. “Not that it’s any of our business anyway.” She added, sending a quick glare to Marlene who simply rolled her eyes.

“This is big news, Lil’, Hermione is breaking out of her shell and going after one of the fittest guys in our school – I’m proud of her.” Marlene claimed with a big grin, getting over being out the loop it seemed – not that she would tell anyone where she had been.

“I’m not going after him – we are just talking.”

“Fine, so where are you going to talk next and would you like some tips?” Marlene offered and for once she actually seemed like she wasn’t talking about anything sexual but instead trying to help Hermione with speaking to boys.

“Oh come on McKinnon, any tips you’re going to give her are just going to be about the best places to be fucked.” Sirius remarked and Hermione snuck a look at the boy, taking in his tense jaw and stern silver eyes.

“Believe or not Black but some of us are capable of actually offering advice and talking without putting our foots in our mouths like jealous, self-centred cunts.” Marlene spoke back sweetly as everyone on the table stared at her with wide eyes and open mouths, Hermione let out a small chuckle and bit her lip while Sirius nodded his head.

“Hm.”

“Anyway… be yourself – anyone who deserves you should be happy with the full Hermione Potter package, and anyone who doesn’t deserve you and made that choice should leave you alone.” Marlene added, though now looking away from Sirius, a smile curving on her face as she looked behind Hermione. “Good morning, Zachary.”

Hermione blinked, lifting up her head and turning around to see an amused Zach behind her, his eyes twinkling and mainly focused on her. “Good morning guys...morning Hermione.”

“Morning.” They all mumbled back like a group of Muggles in a Primary school.

“I was wondering if you had time to -”

“Yes, I do, let’s go.” Hermione didn’t give him chance to finish, she could see Sirius’ mouth open, James’ warning frown and the wide smirk on Marlene’s face – she knew what was going to come and there was no chance she was staying around to here it.

Zach didn’t seem to mind as she gripped his hand and pulled him away from the table, instead her squeezed the pale skin and offered her a knowing smile.

….

“...will be in your O.W.Ls, so follow the instructions carefully and the winner will get an exclusive to my next private party – since you all seemed to enjoy the Halloween ball so much.” Slughorn proclaimed, slapping his larger belly and letting out a laugh, like he couldn’t see the students rolling their eyes and slowly opening their textbooks as he waddled back to his desk.

Hermione sighed as she stared down at the recipe, not too complicated, but no doubt would be since Slughorn had placed her beside Remus to offer additional help to the boy who had a habit of melting cauldrons and burning hair. She loved him, he was her friend, but she would not be held responsible if she had to buy them both new equipment again.

“Pst.” No, she wasn’t going to look – not even if it meant she was pelted by small bits of parchment. “Come on Mi’!” Marlene hissed across the classroom and Hermione gave in.

The girl leant over her table on the other side of the room, Lily looking up curiously from her side, and grinned at Hermione, mouthing things to her far too fast to be understood before she settled on something easier to understand. What happened with Zach?

“Mind your own business.” Hermione whispered back as Slughorn chuckled loudly at something in a book he was reading – not that he would care that much if they were talking but she didn’t want to risk upsetting Snape, which would end up in a fight if he said something Jamie didn’t like.

“I am – tell me.” Marlene whispered back, pouting slightly.

“He walked me to class and we spoke, that’s it.” Hermione hissed and Marlene narrowed her eyes before she seemed to give in as Lily pulled her back and pointed to her potion which was overflowing.

“What the fuck?” Remus whispered from beside her, pulling Hermione’s attention away to focus on her table partner as he stared at his book in horror and then quickly looked to his potion which resembled nothing that it was supposed to.

Her mouth opened to say something and correct him on his error when the sound of whispering between her brother and Sirius behind her caught her ear, seeming to catch the werewolf’s also as he tilted his head to look at them and then turned to look at her.

“What are you even talking about?” James hissed lowly, stirring his potion but glaring at Sirius. “I thought this was over – you made sure of that.” He sounded harsher now, pissed off.

“Not that it’s any of your business but -”

“What do you mean none of my business?” James snapped, his voice raising. “It’s my… of course it’s my business when you can’t make up your fucking mind...and don’t add that unless you want your cauldron to explode!” Hermione sneaked a peak as James glared at Sirius who held a handful of something over his potion.

“Maybe I do.”

“Oh you do, do you?”

“Yeah...that’s my business!”

“Oh Merlin, you are so petty.”

“Oh I am, am I?”

“What the fuck are you too doing?” Hermione snapped as she spun around, placing her hands on their desk and glaring at the pair of them who stared back shocked. “Do whatever this is somewhere else!”

“No.” Sirius snapped back at her, James narrowing his eyes even further. “James has decided to be a complete arse and do this here, so we’ll do it here.” Sirius should have seen it coming, James drawing his wand and aiming it at Sirius.

“Don’t talk her like that!” Her brother snapped and Hermione rolled her eyes as Sirius opened his mouth to say something only for nothing to come out. “I’ll let you speak again when you stop being such a dick to her.” While it was sweet and she understood, and seemingly Sirius did too as his head dropped – she couldn’t help but lift the spell.

“See he’s a child.” What a mistake it turned out to be as Sirius continued.

“You’re the child.”

“People are staring.” Remus muttered to the three of them. Indeed students had turned their head curiously to find out what was happening between the two people who were closer than most friends and now seemed a second away from fighting.

“Well they can stop.” Sirius hissed, glaring at the students – though none of them listened to him and seemed to be more interested in whispering to one another.

“Or maybe you should.” James snapped, his voice dropping slightly. “You made your choice, now you have to deal with that and keep your opinions to yourself.” Sirius ran his tongue over his lip and sent a quick look to Hermione who blew out a breath.

Yeah, she wasn’t touching that with ten foot wand. Even if she knew what it was about, which she was pretty sure she did, there was no point hashing out things that were going to be dropped and left for the past.

Chapter Text

Running away from your problems, is a race you'll never win. - Unknown (for me)

Friday the 19^th of December 1975

Hermione frowned down at her notes in her hands as she made her way through the halls of Hogwarts and towards the Hospital Wing, people singing Christmas Carols, some talking about what they were going to do for the holidays and others sat finishing homework.

A huff left her mouth as her shoulder clipped into someone, sending everything to the floor. “Watch where you’re going, Potter.” Of course it was him, black eyed and sneering, glaring down at her as she moved to pick up her papers. A second pair of hands joined her, thinner and slightly smaller. “Come on, Regulus – she doesn’t need your help.”

“I’ll decide that.” Snape didn’t respond, turning on his heel and leaving the pair behind as Hermione looked up at the younger boy, her mouth turning down.

“He’s right.”

Regulus shrugged his shoulders and offered her a small smile. “I know but it doesn’t hurt to offer a hand.” His bright blue eyes stayed on her and Hermione let her frown melt away with a nod of her head as he handed her back her notes and held out his own hand to help her up.

“Thank you.” Hermione mumbled, placing them into the pocket of her robes and preparing to turn on her heel and carry on her way.

“Where were you heading?”

“What do you want?”

“Can’t we have a polite conversation?” Regulus asked, a small smile on his face even as Hermione glowered at him and waited for whatever he actually wanted to say to her. “I need you to do me a favour.” And there it was.

“I’m not doing anything for -”

“Don’t let Sirius come home.” Hermione closed her mouth as Regulus took a step closer, fifteen and starting to get taller than her, looking more and more like his brother with everyday – though he lacked the arrogance and his eyes were too bright.

“Tell him you don’t want him there himself, I won’t be an owl.” Hermione snapped out, turning to leave only to be pulled back. So maybe he was thinner but he definitely had the same strength his brother did.

“Hermione, it’s not that I don’t want him there – it’s who might be popping round for Christmas dinner that will want him there.” He eyebrows raised and his voice lowered as he leaned slightly closer, hinting at something that she clearly wasn’t getting – in all honesty she couldn’t imagine any guests at the Black household being that pleasant anyway.

“What are you talking about?” She had to ask, frowning at the boy.

“Sirius won’t be able to simply come this year, offer a quick fuck you and leave, he has an eye on him – the moment he comes home, the moment my parents make that known, Sirius is going to be forced into something that he won’t be able to get away from.” It clicked suddenly, everything connecting together and her eyes widening.

“Then tell him all of this!” Her hands reached out to grab the expensive black robes, a small rip being heard as Regulus stared down at her shocked, his hands pulling her own away.

“He won’t listen to me – not now – but you...well the pair of you having something that I won’t even pretend to understand and he’ll listen to you more than anyone.” Hermione grimaced and stepped away, while it might have been true when they spoke at Halloween, now it felt distant and a lie.

“Regulus -”

“I know you will keep him safe and that’s all I’ll ask for.” Of course, she would always make sure Sirius was safe, but she didn’t get to tell him that as he walked away, leaving her staring after him.

…

Her mind was still on the conversation when she left Remus with her notes and a bar of chocolate to ease next day moon symptoms, and a promise to make sure James and not Sirius packed his things for the holidays, and to let him know when he was better whatever was on her mind.

How would she even begin to explain it to him when she was struggling to find the words to explain to Sirius? It wasn’t like she could tell him now or he would go in search of Regulus and no doubt accuse him of something – which meant it would have to be told the moment the letter or whatever came and she would have to stop his impulsive side from rushing home and getting himself into shit.

Why had Regulus even asked her to do this? He could have spoken to James or Remus or even Marlene, but no he had to come to her while she was in the middle of some awkward friendship with his brother – like he assumed they spent time alone together. Something she had been actively avoiding.

“Hey! Hermione!” Zach appeared in front of her, stopping her in her tracks as he placed his hands on her shoulders and bent down to look into her eyes. “Didn’t you hear me shouting you? Is everything ok?”

“Oh sorry...no, a lot on my mind.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“That’s alright, thank you though.”She offered easily, placing her hands in her robe pockets and letting out a sigh as she spoke. “What’s up?”

He stared at her for a second before that easy smile came back on his face and he pulled something from his shoulder bag and held it out to her. “Merry Christmas.” Her eyebrow raised as she looked up at his face.

“You’re six days early.” She remarked, though amused as he grinned down at her.

“Well I won’t see you in six days, and well an opportunity presented itself.” He spoke so innocently, pushing the gift forward again but Hermione refused to look at it and instead focused on the faint dimple in his cheek and the way her stomach twisted slightly.

“I think that’s rather unfair since your gift is in my trunk and I was planning on giving it to you on Sunday.” She spoke teasingly as he rolled his eyes at her and took a step closer.

“Just take the gift, Hermione.”

Smiling softly she looked down and reached for the square package she had no doubt was a book, everyone seemed to get her books – not that she minded, the added to her collection, but they often related to something she only had a slight interest in or looked old.

There had only ever been a few instances where someone had given her a book because it meant something, and not because they simply thought any book would do. Her mind drifted back to nearly two years ago.

...watching him from the corner of her eye as he chomped down on his apple, seeming uncomfortable with the silence as he shifted from from foot to foot. “You got me a gift?”

“Did you forget the other one I got you or were just so overwhelmed that it got lost in the pile?”

“Of course I didn’t, I was just surprised.”

“Oh well...it’s not much.” He handed her a small square, watching as she turned it around in her hands and pulled at the wrapping paper timidly. “I heard you and your dad talking the other night...well part of it…”

“You were listening?” Hermione snapped, glaring at him, gripping the half unwrapped book in her hands and refusing to look down at it. Her heart was pounding in her chest far too fast and her throat was dry, what exactly had he heard her speak about – why was he even listening?

“Only to part of it and I understand...I want to fight too, we all do, so I saw this in Flourish and Blotts and I thought you might find it useful and maybe it can help to keep us safer.” His voice was softer, more apprehensive as Hermione let her own annoyance wash away to offer him a more timid smile.

Hermione turned the book over in her hand and smiled softly. It was a book on defensive spells, with full explanations that more in depth than what they learnt at school and in their Newt years, with a few offensive ones. Most she had never really heard of, though there were some in there and it was probably far too advanced for most fourteen year olds.

Her arms wrapped around Sirius in an instant as he patted her back awkwardly and she was reminded of just how tall he was getting. He pulled away and offered her a rare soft smile instead of his smirk.

“Thank you.”

“...so I thought you it would something for you to take a look at as it goes through all of the laws and...well now I’m thinking that I might have made a mistake.” Hermione tuned back in, her eyes feeling strangely wet as she stared at the book before her; Magical Beings and Their (unjust) Laws. Her head shook and she tried to push the tears away.

“Thank you – this...this is amazing.” Her voice sounded strangely thick and she refused to look up at him.

“Then why do you sound like you’re crying?” He was so concerned and it only added to the tightness in her throat and tears in her eyes. His hands moved down to rub over her arms, leaving a trail of warmth behind.

“I didn’t expect it...and well it’s a very thought out gift.” Finally she looked up and offered him a watery, taking in the frown on his face and the concern pouring from his eyes. It all but twisted her up inside, warming her even more when his thumb came up to wipe a stray tear. “Thank you so much – I hope this doesn’t mean you are expecting something equally benevolent.”

“I don’t expect anything, Hermione – I just wanted to give you something that would make you happy.” He muttered lowly, he looked so unsure that it made her feel guilty.

“You make me happy.” The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them, whispered for only them to hear and very much meant.

Their conversations had offered Hermione a break from her own friends and mind, from her mission, from everything that was happening on the outside world. It made her feel like a normal teenager, spending time with a guy that she thought was handsome, kind, smart and caring – that made her stomach clench and her hands tingle slightly.

She spent most of her time with him blushing and wondering if his lips were as soft as they looked and if he would smile as wide as he did if she dared to try and see.

Yet now he stood there, staring at her with eyes as wide as plates and her bile began to rise up her throat. She had fucked it up, she had ruined the friendship they had been building, someone who had seen her as just Hermione without all the baggage. “I’m sor- “

A small yelp left her mouth as his lips covered her own, his hands cradling her face softly and unlike with Sirius, it’s wasn’t passionate and full of anger but sweet and Zach in every single way. He didn’t try to push his way forward, didn’t try to move his hands anywhere else or even move in closer and yet when he pulled back she was breathless and bright eyed.

“Sorry – I should have asked but…”

“No, I liked it – we should have done that sooner.” Hermione breathed out, his worried eyes going to amused in two seconds as he let out a chuckle and pulled her into a hug, her face pressed against the crook of her neck and her hands gripping the sides of his robes.

“I can’t tell you how much I wanted to.”

...

The walk into the Common Room felt strangely bright, and her cheeks hurt from the grin that would not go even when she tried to frown. Clearly it was noticeable from the way Lily eyed her up and down from her place on the sofa, James sat up straight and Sirius glared at the fire, and the other students avoided her like she had a disease.

“Where’s Marlene?” Hermione all but sighed out, coughing to try and rid herself of the slight dreamy tone her voice had taken out as she sat herself beside Lily.

“With Remus – how was Zach?” Her best friend asked with a smirk on her face as she flicked through the Daily Prophet, ignoring the way James shifted to listen closer and Sirius threw something onto the flames with a dark glare.

“Erm...fine.”

“Just fine?” Lily asked, her eyes moving to Hermione’s lips as she smirked. “I think your smudged lipstick says otherwise.”

Hermione widened her eyes and brought the sleeve of her to her mouth, rubbing it and then staring down at the sleeve with a frown when nothing came away, turning to glare at Lily. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I would have believed that if you hadn’t had tried to clean up your mess – you don’t even wear lipstick Hermione!” Lily cried with a laugh that had Hermione sinking lower into her seat and her cheeks turning a deeper red than before. “Though I will say you two took your time getting there, was it good?”

This time she noticed Sirius perk up, head turned more towards them. She wouldn’t question why he was interested, though it probably had something to do with comparing her experiences and hoping he came out better.

“I’m not speaking about this hear, Lil’.” Hermione smiled amused as Lily’s eyes flew to the boys and she nodded her head in understanding. “So what were you doing here with these two?” Hermione asked raising her eyebrows and smiling as Lily blushed.

“Getting on our case about not being ready for O.W.Ls.” Sirius answered with a smirk, though his face seemed tight and he was staring past Hermione’s shoulder. “Or the truth which is that Miss Evans was confused as to why your brother hasn’t been putting on the moves.” He smirked and turned back to the fire.

Lily glared at the back of his head and let out a sigh. “It wasn’t like that at all – I was just – he was just -”

“Don’t be a dick, Sirius.” James hissed out and Hermione blinked at them, it seemed they spent a lot more time fighting these days than before. “Just ignore him Lily, he’s trying to wind you up because he’s annoyed about something else.” Sirius glowered at his friend, his eyes meeting Hermione’s briefly before turning away.

“Lily?”

“Sorry.”

“Well normally it’s Evans, or Lily-flower, or even Tiger-Lily – never just Lily.” James stared at her as though he was waiting for her to make sense. “Just a bit strange...after all the years of the annoying nicknames and pestering.” She finished lamely as Hermione bit back a knowing smile – there would be no fun in pushing Lily now.

James stared at her even longer, a frown forming between his eyes. “I thought all that annoyed you, and since we’ve kind of become friends, I didn’t want to take a risk and ruin that.” A common Potter thought it seemed – the pair of them both scared of ruining something great when they had it.

“It does annoy me and I’m never going to say yes, but I don’t want you to think you have to change just because we are in a better place – you are who you are, James.” Despite the rejection, James grinned slightly and was all but jumping in his seat.

“So you’re saying you want me to keep annoying you?”

“I want you to keep being you.”

“Fine, then I’ll pester you until the end of time and I won’t give up until you say yes.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less.” Lily muttered, a small satisfied smile on her face and her cheeks slightly pink. Hermione couldn’t help but chuckle, covering it up with a cough when the redhead turned to face her.

There was something so sweet about watching a blossoming romance beginning to form.

…

Sunday the 21 ^st of December 1975

The train seemed alive with students readying to get off – their destination getting closer with every passing minute, and Hermione couldn’t help but smile in agreement – though it was more down to the sweet kiss being laid on her lips and the soft fingers poking into her sides.

A moment of pure teenage bliss, and haunting lust that had her pulling him back and laying one last tender kiss against his lips and relishing in the soft chuckle he let out and the way his finger moved to push the little curls out of her eyes.

“You’ll write to me?” He asked lowly and she grinned up at his face, gripping the front of his robes tightly in her hands.

“Of course, but you have to write back.”

“As beautifully mushy as this is, can it be finished now?” The pair didn’t turn to see who had stuck their head out of the compartment they were stood in front of but they both recognised the voice and took a step backwards from their close hug.

“Sorry, Marlene.” Zach spoke with a rasp, sending a quick look to the girl before he sighed and looked back at Hermione. “You go and get ready to get off and I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.” Despite knowing that he would, his eyes seemed so sad and she didn’t want to let him go.

“Fine, but we have to find a compartment for just ourselves.” Hermione whispered, she could hear the groans inside the compartment as her hand slid under the robes and wrapped around his waist.

“What about your brother and your friends?”

“I’ll see them enough throughout the holidays – I think I’m entitled to spending a few hours away from them on our way back.” She smiled up at him winningly and he grinned back, pulling her into a hug and placing a kiss on top of her head.

“Then it’s no problem with me.” He muttered into her hair before moving down to place on last kiss on her lips and pulling away. “I’ll see you soon.” Hermione nodded her head and watched him go, a sigh escaping her mouth as she moved to step inside the compartment.

The dreamy state of her romance was cut short when something was flung at her head and a pair of light green eyes from the floor looked at her apologetically.

“That wasn’t me, I promise.” He held up his hands in defence and nodded his head towards James who was watching Hermione with scared wide eyes, a nervous smile itching it’s way onto his mouth and his own hands coming up as he curled into a ball.

“I’m sorry!”

“Mate, you’re an idiot.” Sirius muttered from where he was stretched out on one of the benches, leaving no room for anyone else so Hermione had to squeeze in between Lily and Marlene, her foot reaching out to kick her brother into Remus.

“You’re one to talk – and I had to get that look off of her face, I mean seriously Mi’, how many times can you two kiss?” James asked her as he rubbed his side and leant against Sirius’ bench, glasses slipping down his nose.

“Oh shut up, it was sweet.” Defended Lily.

“Yeah, at least he didn’t have his tongue down her throat.” Marlene scoffed as she dealt out a pack of cards between her and Remus, stopping for a second to give a cheeky grin. “Not she would have minded if I’m to go by what I saw yesterday.”

“Marly!”

“Wait – what did you see the other day?” Sirius asked, sitting up and looking at Hermione with crinkled eyes, though there was a small smile on his face so at least he wasn’t glaring this time.

“I won’t lie and say it wasn’t hot, though Zach was innocent enough with his hands – it seems more like Miss Potter was -”

“Shut up!” Hermione cut her off, throwing her hand over Marlene’s mouth, her cheeks blazing red. It wouldn’t take a genius to figure out where Marlene was going but that didn’t mean that Hermione wanted it out in the open for everyone to see.

It had been a private moment between her and Zach in the quiet library, a moment of red cheeked comments and small kisses that had turned into something more that had her stomach bubbling and her hands itching to touch every possible piece of skin she could. He, of course, had been a gentleman and had been blushing harder than her afterwards.

But it had been both of them that had decided that they should keep things more Pg for the time being, since it had only been a few hours – the problem was that since they had started kissing, all Hermione could think about is when they could kiss next or try something else – she blamed hormones of course, but still it was like she had developed an addiction in 48 hours.

A break would be good, give them chance to calm down and see how they felt.

...

“Watch out.” A voice whispered in her ear as they passed, followed by a pair of bright blue eyes. Hermione let out a breath, turning her head to find Sirius and James speaking behind her, not having noticed her exchange.

But she could see them coming towards them, arms reaching for Regulus and eyes on Sirius. A couple with matching black hair and far too traditional clothing. The woman was tall and slender, the same bright blue eyes as her son and her hair slightly greying in some areas. The man seemed sharp in every instance, his eyes grey and his black waves pushed back.

She knew who they were, could trudge up an old memory of them if she really wanted to – though it was faded and probably the only one she actually had.

“Is there even an ounce of Black blood in her, or is she all Potter?” It had been said harshly, a hand pulling on Hermione’s curl and pointing to her softer features and brown eyes – clearly not the marks of a Black girl.

Walburga curled her lip, a hand around Regulus’ shoulder and her feet moving closer as Hermione spun around and grabbed Sirius’ arm, pulling him through the crowd and away from any possible encounter with his parents.

“Ow...fuck Hermione, what’s going on?” He exclaimed, frowning at someone who nudged into him as James squeezed through and raised his eyebrows at Hermione.

“You were both taking far too long.”

“I didn’t realise we were rushing!”

“Can’t keep mum waiting, now can we.” Hermione cheerfully exclaimed, grabbing Sirius again and pulling him along – avoiding eye contact and keeping an eye out for her parents or someone’s parents they could stand with until her own came along.

“Mimi!” Relief flooded through her, eye scanning for the baby that could clearly see her – a wild set of black and pink curls from her mothers arm and clapping hands marked Hermione’s way like an X on a map, a sigh leaving her mouth as she took the baby with a grin.

“Hey guys...what’s up?” Andy whispered in Hermione’s ear while pulling her in for a hug, Dora giggling between them and pulling on Hermione’s hair.

“The Blacks are here.” Hermione explained, she could feel Andy tense up, but the woman remained smiling as she pulled away, moving to hug both of the boys, scanning the area for the threat that she seemed to understand without any extra information.

“Where’s mum?”

“That’s all you have to say to me after months of not seeing each other?” Andy asked, placing her hands on her hips and giving James an amused look as she began to lead them away from the crowds.

“Hello ‘Dromeda, you look beautiful as always – where is my mother?” James grinned back cheekily, sighing dramatically when Andy flicked her long hair over her shoulder and sent him a wink. Dora clapped her hands excitedly and tried to flick Hermione’s hair.

“She’s preparing for the ball so I was asked to come and get you.” Andy smirked as James swore under his breath and even Hermione grimaced. Euphemia Potter was a nightmare when it came to planning and having everything ready for the evening, she would be spending every second making sure everything was perfect and prepared.

"Can we stay at yours?"

“You three and Nymphadora under one roof, sure why not – doesn’t sound like a nightmare at all.” Andy remarked dryly as James began to drag his feet. “Plus I’ll be spending the majority of the holidays at your house anyway – so if worst comes to worst then just grab Dora and pretend you’re playing.” She threw out with a waving hand as James turned to pinch Dora’s side with a grin.

He reached for the pouting toddler and pulled her close to his chest. “My escape plan.”

...

Monday the 22^nd of December 1975

Hermione was about ready to throttle everyone by the time the next days evening appeared. Her mother was crazy – that’s all there was too it.

Her only relief came when the floo turned green and Andy and Remus stepped out, a small smile making it’s way to her face as she stopped what she had been commanded to do and threw herself at the pair of them in a tight hug, fake crying into their shoulders.

“Oh no.” Andy muttered, the two girls jumping as a loud crash was heard somewhere through the house followed by the sound of Euphemia’s slippers hitting the floor and someone swearing.

“JAMES!” Her mother bellowed, now stood at the bottom of the stairs where the three of them could watched, her dressing gown tied tightly around her waist and her hair under a cap, dressed for bed and still giving out orders.

“It was nothing, mum!”

“It better be nothing!” Euphemia shouted back, seemingly forgetting her rule of no shouting in the house. A sigh left her mouth, a tense smile appearing in it’s place as she noticed them. “Hermione, what are you doing?”

“Greeting Remus.” Hermione mumbled into her friends shoulder before pulling away and dropping the tinsel she had been holding to the floor with a sigh.

“Right – ‘Dromeda, thank you for getting Remus – I would have come myself but as you can see none of my children seem to be able to listen to instructions.” Euphemia huffed out, hands on her hips and hazel eyes agitated as she gestured to the unfinished sitting room that hadn’t even been on the decorating list but clearly she was annoyed about.

“I’ve all but finished.” Hermione pouted, nodding her head the large entrance hall.

“The key words being 'all but'.” Euphemia sighed out, clapping her hands together. “Now ‘Dromeda, why don’t you go check on Sirius and Dora, they’ve been decorating the tree in the ballroom but I’m afraid it’s been rather quiet, as of late.” Andy nodded her head in agreement. “And Remus, why don’t you sit and watch Hermione, just to make sure she is on task – I know you haven't been all that well.” What a load of bollocks.

“He's had a few days to recover – I’m sure he can help.” Hermione commented dryly, reaching down to pick up the shiny piece of plastic.

“He needs to rest and you need to get a move on – we only have a couple of days to get this done and I don’t want to spend Christmas Eve redoing everything.” With that she walked away, muttering to herself and heading up the stairs to check on James it seemed.

“I thought Christmas and decorating was supposed to be fun.” Remus remarked, grimacing as he watched the older woman leave and Hermione smirked to herself.

“Oh it is – they’ll get to that part later when Aunt Effie is a couple of bottles into her elf wine and the sitting room tree needs doing.” Andy grinned as she gestured to the room around them – the one room they would do together in some silly traditional way.

“Until then it’s being worked to the bone – for some of us.”

“It’s a bit Gryffindor in here.” Andy commented with a grimace as Hermione led them back into the entrance, the railings and decorations covered in red and gold, with a hint of green in other places – though it only seemed to come from the decoration holly and mistletoe.

“James’ idea – he said if he had to help then he got to choose the colour scheme, I think he’s done a goof job.” Hermione smirked as Andy rolled her eyes and left the pair of them alone.

...

Wednesday the 24th of December 1975

The best thing about Christmas was the food – breakfast included. And Poppy took great pride in making sure all the children staying under her roof would have everything they wanted or needed to prepare for such joyous celebrations.

Hermione was in her heaven, a plate full of different foods and a cup full of hearty tea, that she didn’t even notice her father was in the room until a familiar kiss on the head and pull of his chair caught her eye. His grin turned crooked as he watched her, reaching for the coffee that already sat waiting for him, and his eyes sparkled.

“I remember being fed at Hogwarts – have they stopped doing that?”

“No but this is just better.” Hermione spoke around her food, shoving half a waffle into her mouth and give her father a grin as he shook his head at her.

“Hermione, please eat with your mouth closed.” And Euphemia was back, looking slightly less frazzled but still like she was ready to dish out chores or give Hermione another lecture on what it meant to be a lady, especially on an evening like this one.

“Sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry – I’ve been rather stressed lately and – BOYS OUT OF THE KITCHEN, THERE IS FOOD ON THE TABLE!” Hermione swore under her breath as her tea tipped to the side, her wide eyes moving to see her mother shaking her head. “What was I saying?” Euphemia offered a gentle and tired smile.

“Nothing dear.” Fleamont mumbled, patting his wife’s hand and sending Hermione a look that had her chuckling.

Euphemia and Fleamont continued speaking, whispering to each other, their eyes crinkling and their smiles widening. For her, she honestly couldn’t see how people could be in love so long but there had never been a day in her nearly ten years of being a part of this family that she had ever seen anything less.

Her parents had given James and Hermione a good idea of what a solid and loving relationship looked like – it was no wonder then, that they sought it in people who captured their attention, only to have their hopes destroyed and ripped down without the slight inch of respect for how they felt.

“Hermione, dear, when will the girls be arriving?” Hermione pulled her head up from where she had been stabbing her food, placing down her fork and knife to look up at her mother instead.

“Ted said he was going to get them at five.”

“Well I imagine they wanted to spend as much time with their families as they can – it is rather gracious of them to let us steal them for the evening and morning – which reminds me Flea, would you be able to -”

“Of course, I’ll have them all home before twelve tomorrow.” Fleamont spoke softly before Euphemia would get carried away.

“Such a good man.” She crooned softly, patting her husbands cheeks before her eyes snapped to the three boys trying to sneak into the dining room. “Ah now you three, there will be no sneaking into the kitchens – not when Poppy has made us such a delicious spread.” She gestured to the table, where there was a rather large amount food.

“Yes Mam.”

“Good now, eat up – there is still so much to do before this evening and I want you all looking your best.” Hermione could have groaned, in fact she did, dropping her head onto the table and hoping the night would come quickly so this whole thing could be over and the rest of her holidays could be spent with her in her pyjamas.

...

“For Merlin’s fucking sake!” Hermione screamed as she exited the bathroom, the towel nearly dropping as she caught sight of a grinning Lily and Marlene sitting on her bed.

“Wow, Zach is a lucky guy.” Marlene commented as Hermione shifted her towel, making sure her boob wasn’t exposed and her legs were covered as she made her way towards her desk/vanity table. “Are you sure you don’t want to experiment?” She added, a finger running around the back of Hermione’s neck.

Brown eyes met icy blue through the mirror – narrowing at the wicked grin and slender fingers, a flash on auburn hair and emerald eyes joining on Hermione’s other side. “Why are you trying to seduce Hermione?”

Marlene chuckled out a deep laugh, a slight pink coming to her cheeks as she turned her head to look at Lily. “It was bound to happen sometime, just know, you’re next.” She whispered as Lily smacked her hand away and rolled her eyes.

“I can assure you, your powers of persuasion need some work because I’m not interested.” Hermione sang back with a small girl as Marlene turned her head to glare down at her, pulling on the drying curls before giving a grin and falling back onto Hermione’s bed.

It wasn’t a lie either. Marlene was a very pretty girl, always had been since they first met when her eyes seemed too big for her face and her golden hair hanging down her back – and now she was stunning, growing into a woman with legs longer than most people’s, her skin more golden and her hair cut into a neat short bob.

It was more just that Hermione had never been interested in women, she could appreciate them, even flirt a little but she didn’t want them that way. She wanted strong jaws, muscly arms and sil- kind eyes.

“Dora...wait!” Andy shouted from somewhere down the hall as the door opened, almost three year old Dora swinging on the door handle and grinning at the girls. There was the stomping of feet following, banging through the halls.

Hermione clutched her towel tighter, standing up to usher the child into her room and close the door behind her, stopping slightly when he appeared.

Half dressed for the ball, a smart shirt buttoned up to his ribs and untucked, his black pants adding to the look – she couldn’t help but stop and stare, his silver eyes on her and burning her from top to toe. She wanted to tell him that he looked nice, even if he was half dressed, she wanted to say anything but not even the fact that she was in a towel could make her move.

There was a reason she shouldn’t be staring at him like this though...one that warmed her and offered her a sense of comfort – she just couldn’t find the reason.

Someone coughed loudly, breaking the slight spell, Andromeda pushing herself through them and raising a single eyebrow at Hermione. “You two done doing whatever it is you are doing?” She asked, Hermione blinked back at her as guilt began to flood her like tsunami.

Zach. Zach was the reason and he was a reason she wanted to stick to and she wasn’t going to waste it on whatever small moments she could have with Sirius, only to be reminded he never really wanted her in the first place.

“Yeah.” Hermione muttered, refusing to look over Andy’s shoulder and instead letting herself be ushered into the room.

No one asked what had happened, no one brought up the odd staring nor Hermione’s blushing cheeks, but Hermione couldn’t help but wonder if they were all thinking about it, wondering about the lack of even speaking that was happening between Sirius and Hermione these days. How tense the whole atmosphere felt around them.

Their conversations had been limited to in groups, eyes were avoided and any moment they seemed to have alone was an excuse to go somewhere else. Hermione kind of missed Sirius, missed how easy it used to be for them to talk before possible feelings went and got involved.

Not that it mattered now. Tonight was about enjoying her time with her friends, enjoying the ball her mother had worked so hard to throw and maybe being able to sneak a few drinks.

She didn’t complain when Andy did her hair or Marlene carefully did her make up nor when Dora sat on her lap, babbling about everything and anything, her hair changing to match everyone’s in the room and clapping her hands over their giggles.

“Knock, knock – how are we getting on in here girls?” Euphemia asked as she poked her head inside the room, a large smile on her face as she took them all in before she dabbed away a few tears and moved her carefully waves out of her face. “Oh – you look so beautiful – all of you.” Her eyes mainly stayed on Hermione, moving forward to tuck away a stray hair. “How did I get so lucky?”

Her own throat felt choked up. How had she ended up being so lucky as to have two parents who loved and adored her with all their hearts?

“You look beautiful, mum.” Euphemia sniffed again, even more so when Hermione wrapped her arms around the curvy waist and rested her head against the woman’s shoulder.

“So sweet...you’re going to be the diamond of the ball...literally.” Euphemia added softly as she pulled away, holding Hermione by the tops of her arms before reaching around to grab something that Hermione hadn’t even realised the woman had brought in. “My mother gave me this when I turned seventeen, I know it’s a bit early but I had always wanted to pass this onto my own daughter or granddaughter one day.”

Hermione took the velvet box, opening it up and staring inside at the set of glittering diamonds in goblin silver, her eyes watering. “Mum, I can’t take this – save it for when Jamie has a kid – then it can stay in your bloodline.” Although it pained her to say it, she forced the words out and kept her eyes on the jewels.

Euphemia, it seemed, didn’t agree, a slender finger reached under Hermione’s chin and tilted up her face to stare into her eyes, set and firm. “Blood or not, you are my daughter and I can think of no one better to give this to.” Hermione’s chin wobbled as she nodded her head. “Now get your dress on and show me that beautiful smile, we have guests to entertain.”

…

“Why are we stood here?” Lily asked, leaning forward to ask Hermione from where she stood with her a few steps forward. “I thought you said we weren’t going to do some grand entrance.”

Hermione turned back around to frown at her friend, taking in the way she leaned forward in her emerald, off the shoulder, green silk dress, a small dip in the bust, a lighter green ribbon around her waist, and a stiffer floor length skirt, her auburn hair fell over her shoulder and her hands reached up to adjust the jewelled comb that held it back and away from her natural face.

She looked beautiful, even slouched over and asking questions. “We aren’t, but we have to greet the guests, so straighten your back before mum comes over.” Hermione hissed as Marlene chuckled beside the girl.

Marlene looked stunning also, standing out in the deep red with a tighter dress than Lily’s, lighter and less skirt, but still enough to offer some movement. Her make up was deep and smoky, her lips red and her chin length hair pushed back by a ribbon headband.

“It won’t last long Lil’, and normally we wouldn’t be here but inside the ballroom but as honoured guests who are staying here, we have to be presented too.” Marlene explained as Lily nodded her head, her back straightening to match Marlene’s and her hands clasping at the front – Hermione turned back around to see Andy, Ted and Dora making their way over.

The three of them dressed in deep blue, Andy’s dress elegant, made of silk and with a square neckline, and her hair twisted at the nape of her neck – Dora dressed much the same though her skirts had more volume and her hair matched the colour of her dress.

“Don’t they look beautiful, Ted.” Andy commented, trying her best to keep Dora in her arms and instead of letting her room around the girls dresses. Ted nodded his head and gave them a smile before adjusting his matching dressrobes.

“Stunning.” He added.

“There’s my Princess.” The girls and Ted looked towards the stairs as Fleamont Potter made his way down the stairs, his dress robes and suit underneath black with a deep red lining. He all but jumped down the stairs, pressed a kiss to Andy’s cheek, slapped Ted on the back and stopped before Hermione. “So beautiful.”

In truth she did feel beautiful, if not a bit expensive and excessive in her silvery blueish grey dress. Made of chiffon it offered some form of lightness, the top was a corset style and slightly see through, her off the shoulder cape neck offering some security in diamond covered fabric. If that wasn’t enough, there were diamonds sown in around her waist and fading down the top skirt of her dress. She wouldn’t be surprised if there were some on her shoes too but she wasn’t about to lift up her many thin skirts to find that out.

“Thank you dad.” Hermione whispered, reaching up to touch her mother’s necklace and then to tug on curls that were pinned in a low bun, none of her baby curls long enough to yank on.

A flash went off, startling both Potter’s out of their conversation and turning to see Euphemia and a random man with a camera at the side. “Oh how beautiful – I’ll be wanting that picture for sure.” Euphemia spoke to the man, gesturing for him to go ahead into the ballroom before turning to the girls. “So beautiful – now let’s get in line, people will be arrive soon.” She turned to look at Hermione.

Andy gave her an amused look, moving herself and the Tonks’ to stand beside Lily and Marlene as Euphemia fussed over Hermione’s dress, making sure the skirts fell in a circle and that nothing was on show.

“Where is your brother?”

“We’re here.” James called, though he didn’t come from upstairs but instead from the direction of the back garden. He looked like a mini Fleamont, and even more so as he moved to stand by Hermione’s side, elbowing her and giving her a thumbs up. “Looking pretty Mi’ – all the ladies look marvellous.” He all but shouted.

“Where were you?” Euphemia asked, sending a quick look to Remus and Sirius, both dressed in black though Sirius’ robes held a hint of silver and Remus’ were plain – they stood on the other side of Ted and straightened their postures.

“Setting up our Quidditch game for later – I know – it won’t be until everyone is drunk and hasn’t noticed the kiddies, plus Ted and Andy, have gone missing.” James spoke lowly, grinning at his mother when she straightened his clothes and jumped at the sound of music starting, the sign of guests arriving.

“All of you behave – I expect you all to take place in the dancing, at least the first and last – and if any of you drink -” She sent more a look towards Sirius. “- then make sure it is done carefully and with no one getting drunk or there will be hell to pay tomorrow.” With that she turned back around and grinned largely.

The guests made their way in pair by pair or family by family, all formal and introducing them one by one, with a lot of curtsying and smiling politely, as well as promising to dance with some of the younger men who took her hand and pressed kisses to the back of it with slimy smiles and winks, like they thought that worked on her.

“Bet you wish Zach was here, huh?” James whispered to her and Hermione nodded her head eagerly, pulling her hand back from another self-righteous twat. “Alright man, that’s enough.” He added for her when the boy before them squeezed her hand.

The boy’s lip wobbled but he bowed and moved on to her parents, Euphemia shooting the pair of them a look as Hermione fought to keep the laugh off of her face. “Oh shit, Melissa.” Hermione coughed to James, his hazel eyes going wide.

Melissa was a girl whose father was friends with their own, a lot younger – in just having started her second year at Hogwarts and being a Hufflepuff in every single way – even down to her dress now which made her look like a bumblebee. She all but bounced off walls and had the sweetest, if not most intense, crush on James.

“Oh fuck, can I -”

“James!” The girl cried running up to the siblings and stumbling over her feet as Hermione chuckled behind her hand, ignoring the glare James sent her. Melissa moved fast, running before her parents who watched amused and wrapped her arms around James’ waist.

“Who is that?” Hermione heard Lily whisper, a smile on her face as she looked down at the small girl and to her parents who were watching with barely hid amusement.

“Hey – hey Melissa, how are you?”

“I’m good now, it’s not fair that we have to be separated for the holidays – or houses really – maybe I should talk to the Headmaster so he can make sure we can be together and then you can look our for me or I can look out for you -” The girl didn’t stop to breath, even as Hermione moved to pull her away so James could breath normally again. “Oh – hello Hermione...wow, you look so pretty!” She touched the dress and Hermione couldn’t help but smile.

“Thank you, you too.” Hermione exclaimed with a big smile as she patted the girls head. “Though, Melissa, while me and James would love to talk, right now we have to do this – so why don’t you head inside and then we can talk in a while -” She grinned as she leaned down to whisper to the girl. “Maybe I’ll even get James to have a dance with you.”

The girl grinned with impossibly wide eyes, turning to stare at James who was trying his hardest to smile and glare at Hermione at the same time, he didn’t have to try too long as Melissa’s parents pulled the girl away and into the ballroom, leaving him free to show his displeasure.

“Looks like you’ve got a girlfriend, Prongs.” Sirius whispered from his place, a wicked grin on his face. Hermione grinned at her brother, avoiding his soft punch and straightening her back once again.

The stayed like that for a while until the last guests went into the room, leaving the Potter’s and their friends stood outside the doors and breathing as thought they had just been sprinting. Hermione scrunched up her nose as she let her posture drop slightly and a deep breath leave her mouth. How many of these people didn’t brush their teeth?

And how many of them would she be forced to dance with? Hopefully she could get out of there before people started getting drunk grabby hands and she was forced to knock them on their arses.

The music started, leading them into the ballroom as Hermione frowned, her hands clasped tightly in James’, letting him spin her around in front of their guests and only offering them brief moments to talk about things before they were spinning around widely again. And normally she wouldn’t mind, but she knew what or...who was coming next.

Her brother gave her an apologetic smile before spinning her out, her arms landing on the person she would much rather not think about, nor dance the slower part of the song with.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“You look nice.” His voice rasped as he led them around. Hermione’s eyes searched his face, remembering the last ball and how it had ended and how she had wanted it to go.

It would have started like this in her eyes, with the dance she never got, losing themselves like characters did in a romance novel, as their feelings began to surface – maybe a chance to have some time alone where they could talk or even kiss – ending the night with soft words and possible feelings.

It could have easily happened tonight too, but it wasn’t right. She couldn’t keep doing this to herself when he would never give anything return. When he didn’t want her in return. She had made a choice for herself and decided to move on to a boy who could give her everything that she had asked for while making her feel special.

Hermione moved her eyes away from his own, focusing on the spinning guests, feeling Sirius let out a breath against her. “Why are you mad at me?”

She wanted to remain silent, to let this slide and pretend that everything was going to go back to whatever normal was between them but her mouth had other plans. “Do you not remember what you said on Halloween?” She asked, meeting his eyes again. “How you’ve been acting since then?” She added with raised eyebrows.

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“However you meant it isn’t important any more – it happened, things have been awkward and we both just need to move on.” Hermione spoke calmly, she could see James watching them carefully from the corner of her eye as he danced with Marlene but this wasn’t the time for him to storm over.

“Move on from being friends or move on from – from us?” He asked her and Hermione frowned, he seemed so timid, so afraid of what she might say to him.

“I meant move on from the argument, get back to being friends again and leave all the weirdness behind.” She whispered and offered him a tight smile as the song began to change again, indicating the change of partner.

He nodded his head, but there was a sadness to his eyes that she was refusing to comfort on or even offer any sort of knowledge. This is what they needed to do, so with one last smile, she spun herself under his arm and moved towards Remus, doing her best to not look back and see those sad eyes staring into her back.

…

Heels had to be the devil’s shoe, why she had decided they would be a good idea was just stupid on her. Especially since James seemed to have gotten in the mood and decided to do vigorous dancing around the room while everyone clapped them on – well her feet were ready to give up and fall off, but her mother would kill her if she took them off before the night was through.

A lady smiled through the pain when they had guests and succumbed to the pain afterwards.

Still, she used it as an excuse to sit herself down at one of the tables, pulling James and Lily with her and letting out a sigh when the her arse hit the soft cushion.

“Nice dancing out there, Potter – never knew you were so graceful.” The three looked up to see Frank and Alice as Remus joined them, fanning his face and shaking his head at where some older woman was waving at him, her cheeks red and her chest moving up and down rapidly. “Mind if we sit?”

“Why thank you Franky, keep the comments coming and you can sit with us as long as you like.” James spoke with a grin, frowning at Remus as he shrunk further, all but leaning on Hermione’s side. “Alright there, Moony?”

“Never let that woman near me again.”

James let out a laugh and nodded his head. “Yeah, Miss Marchbanks is a nightmare – you should meet her grandmother, smashing lady, she’ll probably be conducting the O.W.Ls, though I doubt she’ll be wanting you to dance then.” He added, smacking his hand against the table.

“Dear Griselda – she did my N.E.W.Ts, stern woman.” Frank added with a grin at Remus who shuddered and rested his face in his hands. “Though get a couple of drinks in her and she’s right charming – you should see her and my mum on their monthly Saturday night.” He chuckled at the thought and the group turned to see Augusta Longbottom speaking to a short witch.

“Sounds interesting. How’s Auror training going, Frank?” James asked in a change of the subject, eagerly focusing on the boy.

“Your dad and Moody have been working us to the bone – I expected it from Moody, but I thought your dad was a softy, he should go back to making potions.” Frank spat out bitterly but there was a small smile on his face that let them know he didn’t mean it harshly.

“Your dad made potions?”

“Yeah – well one really, sleekeazys.” James told Lily, running a hand over his hair as Lily’s eyes turned wide and she looked between the Potter siblings.

“Wait – your dad made that?” Lily asked touching her hair, bringing it up to her nose to inspect as though it would tell her who made the product she had used for the evening.

“Did you think we just had a large stock just because?” Hermione asked amused, thinking back to her bathroom and the few bottles that had been placed in there and in the bathroom that Marlene and Lily shared when they were here. Really they were everywhere.

“How did I not know this?”

“I told you before – not like it’s a big deal, he sold it off and gets profit – decided he wanted to be full fledged in the Auror business – hence why Frank is complaining.” Hermione spoke softly, gesturing to Frank who nodded his head in agreement while Alice laughed.

They spoke a bit more, sipping on the limited alcohol that appeared in their glasses, stopping only when Sirius and Marlene made their way over, matching grins on their faces.

“Alright, Black?” Frank asked with a frown.

“Not too bad, Longbottom.” He spoke, patting the boys back and then pulling out a pack of cigarettes and placing one between his lips before noticing the shocked look of Frank and Alice and holding out the packet. “Want one?” He asked.

“No, thanks – you’re not going to smoke that in here, are you?” Alice asked, eyes as wide as her future sons as she gulped and turned to look back at the group like she expected them all to light up and piss of Euphemia and Fleamont Potter.

“Not unless I want Aunt Effie to kill me – no, I’m going outside – you all coming?” He asked as James stretched his arms and stood up, the rest of the group following as Sirius began to lead them out of the ballroom, stopping to frown at them. “Alrighty then.” He shrugged his shoulders and continued on their journey.

Hermione smiled as Alice and Frank followed after them, sighing at the cool air the outside brought after the stuffy ballroom.

Lily leant against the wall, holding out a hand to Sirius and smiling when he placed a cig on it before bringing it up to her mouth and letting him light it. She gave a big pull, sighing as she let out of the smoke and crouched onto the ground.

“You smoke, Evans?” James asked, stumbling out of the doors last and turning to frown at Sirius who was crouched down, holding a rolling paper with one hand and shifting something inside while he smoked what looked like a rather small cigarette.

“Sometimes.” Lily muttered with blushing cheeks as she passed the rest of her cig to Marlene, moving to sit down on the circle that was forming on the grass, half hidden by the trees.

“And done – when did you get here, mate?” Sirius asked, holding up what could have easily been mistaken for a home-rolled cig if it wasn’t for the twisted end, the thickness and the stronger smell that was coming from it. His eyes turned to James, bemused as his best friend stared across at him with wide eyes.

“Did – were you planning to smoke without me?” His hazel eyes watered, hand on his chest as he all but laid across Hermione dramatically.

“Of course not – though I didn’t know that was a rule, if I did then me and Moony wouldn’t have smoked with you.” Sirius spoke with wide eyes, the joint dangling between his lips and his lighter held tightly in his hands as James shook his head and moved press his face into Hermione’s neck.

“I can’t believe it.”

“Don’t act like we’ve done it without Padfoot.” Remus chuckled as Sirius turned an annoyed glance to him, the joint still unlit with Frank and Alice staring at the group unsure. James sat himself up straight and nodded his head, eyes amused.

“And see, I was going to share this but now I’m not sure.” Sirius spoke, shaking his head and slapping James’ hands away from his mouth.

“What is ‘this?” The group turned to see Alice, even in her evident uncertainty, frowning and pointing at the ‘not’ cig in Sirius’ mouth, a frown becoming more prominent as Sirius lit it up with a simple lighter and took a deep inhale, blowing it out of the side of his mouth and sending Alice a grin.

“Yeah, smells a bit different from a cigarette, Black.” Frank added, waving the smoke away from his face, but he too looked curious.

Hermione couldn’t help the small chuckle that left her mouth. Purebloods and their lack of knowledge was always surprising, but she would have thought that even the most innocent or even idiotic of them, would have known something about Muggle drugs – it wasn’t exactly like the Wizarding World had many to offer.

Not unless you wanted to do some leaping toadstools or smoke a mandrake leaf – and even then she doubted that it would have that much effect. Potions however -

“It is different – it’s call cannabis -”

“Or maryjane.” James interrupted Sirius with a large smile.

“Wacky backy.” Remus added.

“Marijuana.” Marlene smirked.

“Or dope – point is – Muggles had this awesome idea to smoke it, gives you the calmest feeling ever – give it a try and see.” It was an offer that wasn’t followed by offering the joint to them, but instead of him taking another tug and passing it on to Marlene who happily took it.

“Is he one of those hippies?” Alice moved to ask Hermione and Lily as Sirius leant back on his hands and smiled at the sky.

“More like a wannabe bad boy.” Lily whispered back as she turned to watch Remus take a rather large inhale, a slow roll of smoke coming out of his mouth and disappearing up his nose before he coughed and grinned at James – continuing the pass around of the slowly dwindling joint.

“Don’t tell mum.” James turned to her, eyes wide as he stared, letting out his own smoke and holding it out to her carefully.

Hermione stared down at it. Never once had she tried it, smelt it – seen other people smoke it, sure – it wasn’t like it was a secret drug, like cocaine or heroin, most people had tried it once. And this is why she was here, well not really, but she had been told to enjoy her teenager years again, and what better way to do that than partake in the most teenage activity, other than drinking, there was.

“You don’t have t-” James began, cut off by Hermione gently bringing the tip to her mouth and sucking in a breath like the others had done. The smoke rolled around in her mouth and the instinct was to let it out immediately but she thought against it, sucking in another breath.

It burnt her throat and tasted like a strange grass, making her cough the smoke back up so that it rolled around her head. Sirius was chuckling at her, Marlene had fallen backwards, leaning half against Remus as she laughed – he too was watching her amused, though he seemed more helpful than James beside her.

“Don’t suck it in so hard, and don’t hold it.” He offered, pink cheeked and mellowed grinned. Hermione nodded her head seriously, giving the joint a second pull, and while she still coughed it was easier and now thankfully being taken by Lily, who much like herself, almost hacked up a lung.

“Someone take this off me.” She wheezed out as Hermione chuckled lowly, almost feeling tingly.

“You having a go, Prewett?” Sirius asked Alice – the girl in question turning to look at Frank who shrugged his shoulder at her.

“Are we going to grow a second head?” Frank asked for the pair of them as Alice daintily took the joint and held it oddly in front of her face, waving another hand to fan the faint smoke from her face.

“Nah, it ain’t that strong, mate – just relaxes you – makes you feel all giddy and calm, add that to our drinks and you’re golden for the night.” James seemed to speak slower by Hermione’s side, another chuckle leaving her mouth as he gave her a grin with crinkled eyes.

That seemed to be enough to appease the couple, both of them taking small tokes with coughs afterwards before passing it back to Sirius, letting the circle continue around them.

…

The joint dead and a mellow feeling in the group had them lifting off the floor and walking back into the loud house, the party still going on strongly.

Hermione couldn’t help but laugh, leaning on James, as a couple spun by, brightly coloured and arguing – the whole ball seemed more lit up and louder than usual, and she was certain – like 100% certain – that someone had put a voice changing jinx on everyone, otherwise why would people be talking so slow or fast, it just didn’t make sense.

“Do you think mum did – did – those – you know – when she puts it inside the shell thing.” James looked at her, glasses tilting further down his nose and the front of his robes and shirt unbuttoned.

Hermione frowned and then nodded her head. “I could go for one of those.”

“One of what?” Her brother asked her with a frown, Hermione chuckled and grabbed his hand – pulling him along and marvelling at the fact that her feet no longer hurt. Perhaps her shoes had turned to jelly? Could they do that? She would have to ask someone else.

It didn’t matter any more because her parents had put on a splendid buffet and it seemed all the teenagers had congregated towards the food and were shoving as much as they could in their mouths, or in the case of Frank, on his cheek.

Hermione stumbled into Sirius who automatically raised his hand to rest against her arm, a small smile on his face and his eyes heavier than usual as he held out whatever he was eating for her to take a bite, which she did. It was very tasty, something sweet like cake and she liked it.

“Mi’, Dora has fallen asleep in your bed and...where have you guys been?” The group turned slowly, half of them still raising food to their lips as they turned to face Andromeda, a bemused expression on her face as she took in their rumpled clothing.

“Hey Andy.” Hermione spoke, her tongue feeling oddly strange in her mouth as she raised a hand to wave before realising it wasn’t her hand but Sirius’. “We were – erm – outside.” Her tongue rolled around her mouth, a frown on her face as she tried to gain control of it.

“Peaceful evening, cousin, very enjoyable.” Sirius added, sounding much more normal than Hermione, waving his hand around. So she hadn’t been controlling it.

James took that moment to chuckle at Marlene as she swayed to a song, her eyes closed, shoving food into his mouth and muttering something under his breath as Andromeda narrowed her eyes and her mouth fell open. “Are you all hi-”

“Oh there you all are.” Euphemia appeared beside Andy, who seemed to have thought it better to keep her mouth shut. Her mother looked at all of them, a frown on her face that she seemed to shake off as she wiped James’ cheek and then straightened Hermione’s dress. “Been outside, have we? Well no bother – anyway, it’s time for the final dances.”

Whatever that meant, it took Hermione a second to figure it out, her brain feeling much slower than usual and her tongue feeling like cotton in her mouth. “I need a drink.” She muttered, turning around to take a gulp of water before smiling at her mother. “You look like this.” She gave two thumbs up to her mum who frowned, her eyes going from Hermione to James to Sirius.

“Are you all drunk?”

“Nonsense, Aunt Effie – I just think the evening has got to them – perhaps one last dance and then sending them off to bed would be wise.” Andy spoke before any of the teenagers could comment, a grin on her face that told Hermione she owed her, not that Hermione cared to figure out why. Her mellow feeling was ebbing at the edges – what weird words.

“Yes, yes I think it would – very well, James and Hermione, let’s go before I change my mind.” Euphemia beckoned for her two children to follow, the pair of them walking behind her like cartoon characters.

James was chuckling and Hermione was trying her best to keep her back straight in an attempt to keep them from being figured out as they stopped on the dance floor, her hands reaching out to grip James’.

The music began, a weird beat that didn’t match their dizzying circle but it was funny, feet slipping out underneath them and people watching with wide eyes, but her brother was an amazing dancer and that made everything better.

…

“...into bed we go.” Andy whispered as she led Hermione into her room, Dora asleep there, looking adorable in her pyjamas that Hermione just wanted to pick her up and hold her close to her chest. “Merlin knows how I’ll get Ted up to bed, I haven’t seen him that drunk in a long time.” She chuckled at the end as Hermione joined in.

Moving her way around the toddler, she climbed onto the edge of the bed, kicking off her shoes and not even bothering to take out her hair. Andy sat on the edge and smiled down at her.

“It’s like having two children.”

“Well then be a good mother and tuck me in.”

“Getting high – that’s not like you, Hermione.” But she complied nonetheless, moving the covers to make sure both girls were covered and comfy, Hermione’s eyes felt heavy and the effects of the weed were beginning to wear off, leaving behind tiredness.

“Sometimes I need a break, can’t be uptight all the time.” Hermione tried for humour but it felt fake and like her throat was tight. “It was nice to not have to think about everything for once – to not have to worry about what might happen when they make a decision or the war.” Andy stared at her with sad eyes, patting her leg gently.

“One day you’re going to have to deal with everything before it breaks you, sweetheart.” The truth if Hermione had ever heard it, but she didn’t want to hear it right now.

“One day maybe but not today.”

“No not today, now get some sleep – I’m sure we can speak about this another time when you’re ready.” Andy moved to get up from the bed, stopping when Hermione reached for her hand and looked at her through heavy eyes, a small smile on her face.

“Can you stay a bit more?” Hermione asked, feeling suddenly so small – like she had done when she was a child and Andy would come and visit, someone to stay and offer comfort. “Just in case Dora wakes up and needs you.” A lie that they both knew but it had Andy nodding her head and moving to lay down on the other side of her daughter, one hand reaching out to stroke Hermione’s curls.

It was comforting in a way that she was reminded she was far too old for but couldn’t seem to care. Sixteen and begging her cousin to stay with her because what she had forgotten was threatening to come back with a bang and ruin her evening.

Chapter Text

Thursday the 25th of December 1975

”Dora, no.” Hermione heard through cotton wool ears, feeling a small finger poking into her cheek followed by a soft chuckle and a sigh. “Leave her alone, Nymphadora.”

The poking stopped and allowed Hermione to get a feel of her surroundings. She knew she was in her bed but she was awfully uncomfortable and it felt like multiple things were poking into her side, probably the diamonds on her dress but she didn’t want to move to find out, not even when the toddler poking at her face decided it was a good time to sit on her stomach.

“IT’S CHRISTMASSSSSSS!” The door banged open, slamming against the wall making Dora jump and Hermione open her heavy eyes to hold the girl so she didn’t fall off the bed when someone else – James, jumped on it. “How lazy you all are – excited for you present, Little Dora.” Dora clapped her hands and nodded her head, moving to sit on James instead.

“Santa come?” She asked with wide eyes, scrunching up her face as her hair changed to a white mess and Andy laughed.

“We’ll have to go and see – though first, perhaps we should let Mi’ and mummy get changed, why don’t we go wake up Sirius?” James asked, giving Hermione a quick grin as she smiled in appreciation, picking up the toddler and walking towards the door before stopping and turning around. “Ted’s passed out in the sitting room with dad, by the way.”

Andy groaned and watched him go, rubbing her hands over her face and turning to look at the clock on Hermione’s bedside table. “Why does he always have to wake up so early – it’s 7 o’clock for Merlin’s sake.” Hermione chuckled but nodded her head.

It had been like that since she was a child, James waking up early for Christmas no matter what time he went to sleep the night before and then coming into each room screaming his head off. When she was younger she had loved it, but now when she felt foggy from her night activities, well she wasn’t so sure any more.

Still she pulled herself up from her bed as Andy did, the woman moving slowly – she stopped at the top of the stairs before shaking her head and walking away and to the room she usually stayed in. Hermione shut the door behind her, she could hear the sounds of James and Dora laughing as Sirius grumbled something.

A shower followed by comfortable clothes would make the day much better. And it did for a few seconds until she opened her door and caught sight of Sirius.

He was grumbling to himself, walking towards the stairs with low waisted pyjama bottoms, thin dark hair in a line of his lower stomach and his arms raised as he pulled a top over his head, the fabric falling softly and not doing much to avert her eyes until his hand raised to run through his messy waves.

For a second she felt very unattractive in her own trackies and baggy jumper, her feet curling against the wood of the hallways, her hands reaching up to try and tidy the messy bun – when silver eyes met her own and a small smile curled around his lips.

It was hard to doubt it then and she let him guide her down the stairs with a softer smile on her face, friendly and totally innocent.

…

The larger than normal group sat in the sitting room, cups of teas and coffees in their hands, thanks to Poppy who also seemed to have taken the job as the photographer for the day – her large eyes filled with tears as she talked about James’ first Christmas, and Hermione’s first with the family and how much they were growing. Her baby Miss and Mister.

“There, there Poppy – they aren’t that grown up yet.” Euphemia whispered to the elf, sitting her down beside her and wrapping an arm around her shaking shoulders as James and Hermione both blushed. “Now why don’t we focus on presents, we have so many this year.” She grinned and turned to the kids.

“Go on Dora, practice your reading and hand them out.” Fleamont encouraged, though they all knew the three year old was far from being able to read but she took the challenge all the small, stumbling forward, to the large pile of presents under the tree.

She frowned at the tags, trying to read words that meant nothing before turning to her father with questioning eyes. He chuckled, looked at the present, moving to whisper the name in her ear.

“Unca Fea.” She grinned as she spoke, moving forward to present the gift, placing it on his lap and excepting a kiss to the head with a giggle – her hair turning to match Fleamont’s. She moved back to the presents, standing beside her father so he could hand her the wrapped gifts. “Jamie and...’ily-flowa.”

“Thank you Dora...really?” Lily sent a smile to the small girl before turning her head to frown at James who wasn’t paying that much attention to her but instead was focused on doing some complicated handshake with the two year old in exchange for his gift.

“Remoose.” Dora spoke next when she was done with James, dragging out her vowels and grinning as the werewolf shyly grinned back, making sure to take the present gently from her.

Hermione wondered if he would ever get passed the part of being nervous around the Tonks’ but then she couldn’t blame him. If the two were to get together later, it might put an even bigger damper on the relationship for Remus to know he had watched his soulmate grow up from being a child – the thought made her cringe.

But she promised to help them get past it if they went down that road. To assure Remus that it wasn’t like he had been lusting after a baby, that when he fell for Dora, it was because she had grown up and was the sweet, funny adult that Hermione Granger had once known.

An hour later and their presents were open, Hermione smiling down at the amount of books, sweets and clothes she had received from everyone – only stopping on the necklace from her parents, eyes staring down at the simple Potter crest, a small ruby covering the hole where the chain slipped through.

“Mum, dad this is too much – you already gave me the necklace last night and -”

“Nonsense, that was a family relic that will be passed down again when you have your own children – this one is all for you.” Euphemia spoke, shaking her head and moving forward to pick up the necklace, moving Hermione’s curls out of the way to fasten the chain. “I also happen to think this compliments your other necklace nicely.”

The woman moved away before Hermione could say anything else, her hand reaching up to touch the necklace Sirius had given her, never taken off even when her diamonds had covered it. Her eyes looked up to the boy, a soft smile on his face.

…

“What are you reading?”

Hermione didn’t need to look up to move her feet out of the way, her eyes remained glued to the page before her, focusing on the words of her book. “Zach got me this fascinating book on the rights of magical beings...did you know -”

“Probably not, but you can tell me when Christmas is over.” James suggested with a cheeky grin as Hermione huffed, her eyes looking over the page as Sirius sat himself down in the single chair by the window, lifting up his top to show off his stomach as he groaned.

“My pants no longer fit.”

“Maybe your fat arse shouldn’t have stopped after seconds and dessert.”

“That would be an insult to Poppy – Merlin, I wish Kreacher knew how to cook like her.”

Hermione bristled at the sound of Kreacher. Truth was, she had tried not to think about him since her time here. He wouldn’t be the same elf that Hermione Granger had had a chance to change, but instead the bitter old house-elf who loved his Mistress and despised everyone else.

“Actually I don’t fucking care if Kreacher can cook, nothing could make that house nicer – not even my demanded presence.” The Potter siblings turned to stare at Sirius as he sighed, resting his head back against the chair. It was only then that Hermione took in his appearance, shoes on and bag resting on the side of the sofa.

“What do you mean demanded presence?”

“Take a look...wicked bitch of Islington has called me home.” Hermione stood up, not caring about how close she was to him, reaching for his hands to snatch the letter. This is what Regulus had warned her about and she had failed to even get it before it landed in his hands. “I thought it might be wishing me a happy Christmas but…”

Hermione tuned him out as she stared at the letter.

Dear Sirius,

Your presence is required at home. We will be expecting your return before the end of the evening, and there will be consequences is you fail to show.

Walburga Black.

“Love how she can’t even sign it mother – not that it matters, I have been called -”

“You can’t go.” Hermione spoke, cutting off Sirius and throwing the letter onto the table as though it had burnt her finger tips. It felt like it had, it felt dirty and as though Walburga’s soul had been placed into the object.

Sirius narrowed his eyes at her for a second, shifting himself in his seat as he looked up at Hermione. “What?”

“You. Can. Not. Go.”

“I know you’ll miss me but I can’t exactly avoid them, not when I’m still underage at least.” Sirius explained as though it was obvious, a small smirk on his face but his silver eyes were still narrowed. “And I’ll see you both in a couple of weeks so it’s not like -”

“Are you stupid?” Hermione snapped, not caring how his eyes flashed nor how he stood up from his seat, glaring down at her as though he was actually insulted. They stood toe to toe, seeming to try and find something in the others eyes.

“Hermione.” James mumbled, his hand on the small of her back.

“Do you not realise what it is this letter is saying?” Hermione asked tightly, gesturing back to the letter as Sirius frowned and widened his eyes. He couldn’t be this stupid, and she knew he wasn’t, but if he wanted to play the dumb idiot then who was she to deny him.

“That mother dearest wants me home.” Sirius answered slowly, as though English wasn’t her first language, like it was her being the idiot.

“And why now?” His jaw tensed and even James let out a sigh – at least someone else in this room seemed to get it. “I highly doubt she wants to spend Christmas with you.” He didn’t look offended by that implication, more amused.

“Maybe she had a change of heart.”

“Or maybe her first son, and heir to the whole fucking Black family, is home for the first time since turning sixteen.” It was obvious what she was hinting at, for her and seemingly for James whose whole body seemed to tense beside her.

“So she wants to throw me a party? It’s not that big of a deal.” Avoidance, that was how Sirius dealt with it. Despite his hatred towards his family, there was something inside of him that still believed there might be more there.

In a way she could understand it. Family was a big thing, a thing that no one ever wanted to believe was cruel and horrid – and Sirius seemed to internally wave between the ideas, eager to go back and stuck up the tension before giving them a fuck you and leaving. He always went back to them...called upon like Kreacher.

“I don’t think that’s what she’s getting at, Pads.” James added as Sirius’ jaw tensed.

“Then maybe she could get to the point quicker.” He spoke harshly, frowning down at her and reminding her of the angry man Hermione Granger had once known. “I haven’t got all -”

“Your family stands on a different side than us, Sirius, a side fully allied with him, and what could be a better time than now as to get the Black heir into his gang.” Hermione finally spelt out for him. He didn’t seem surprised, though his eyebrows raised in some mock facade he wanted to portray.

“I’m sixteen -”

“He doesn’t care about that, the younger the better.”

“Well Voldemort sounds like a right nonce.”

“Think about it logically, Sirius, he’s going to want you, regardless of what you believe and your parents are going to want you to join to save face.” Hermione carried on, ignoring James. “He already has half of your family but you are the centre of it all.” Her voice soften as she poked a finger into Sirius’, quite hard, chest.

“Again Hermione, I’m sixteen -”

“Underage and malleable, the decision taken out of your hands before you become of age, therefore easier to control, to use like a pawn in his game and with no way to escape by the time you are legal and out of school.” It sounded illogical, but it wasn’t unreasonable. They all knew that Voldemort was collecting Purebloods like trophies.

“It seems a bit far to go for little old me.” His shoulders dropped and doubt seemed to be climbing along the edges, his stubbornness trying to hold it off.

“You aren’t listening!” Hermione hissed. “Heir to a fortune vaster than anyone else’s...a power that no one else’s family holds, it’s not just a way to get to you but to get to all of us.” She clarified, a sigh leaving her mouth. “You have connections with some of the richest and powerful families in Britain, not to mention most of our group is Pureblood.”

“You know this, mate, you go home and that mark is going to be forced onto your arm – and you’ll either be tasked with bringing us to join him or to betray us.” James added and Hermione was forced to be reminded of how shit their situation was.

Three sixteen year olds (well fifteen for James), stood in a living room on the evening of Christmas, debating about whether their friend should go home so he could be pawned off to some evil overlord by his parents with no other reason than he had value.

They were children, for crying out loud, already been placed in a war they had nothing to do with – forced to deal with consequences of actions they didn’t want.

“I would never do that.” Sirius had whispered, looking between them both with a frown as he shook his head and sat down. “I know what they want – you think they haven’t been hinting at it through letters since Halloween?” He spoke a bit louder now, even as he laid back against the chair.

“So you knew -”

“I’m not stupid – but what else am I supposed to do – if I avoid it now then it happens later and maybe...maybe I should just do it – offer myself up to be some sort of spy for Dumbledore – at least that way I can get in the Order.” He sounded so passionate, ready to walk out of the door and do that. “And it would be a while before I would actually be called to do anything, but then I would see it first hand – can give your dad some information.” He added at the end when he saw how James was looking at him.

“No.”

“No?”

“You are not giving yourself in – I didn’t – I haven’t -.”I didn’t travel back in time just for you to get yourself in a mess I can’t fix. Hermione thought but she couldn’t exactly say that. “Just no Sirius.” Is what she landed on, and it came out lamely.

“Why not, Hermione?” He seemed shocked, like he thought she would actually agree to sending him like some kind of wild deranged idiotic spy. “I can be an asset to the war, I could -”

“You could get yourself killed.” Hermione shouted, letting out a breath, one hand on her hip and gripping her head with her other hand. “This isn’t something you walk into, and if he even suspects that your loyalty is false then he’ll kill you.” He knew that. Of course he knew that.

“You’ve heard the stories from dad, don’t do this, Pads.” James whispered, there was footsteps on the floor above – either their parents or Andy and Ted.

“Regulus doesn’t want you to do this.” Hermione spoke urgently and just like that Sirius’ back was up, eye flashing dangerously, nostrils flaring. She was reminded of another time, of one when their anger had caused other reactions – ones she favoured more.

“What did you say?” Never in her life had she been scared of Sirius, but in this moment she could imagine how it would see to be. Intense gaze and flashing eyes, tensed hands and gritted teeth – it was all a bit much. “You spoke to Regulus about this?” A sensitive topic that she should have had more care speaking about.

“He asked me to make sure you didn’t see the letter, or to stop you from going.”

“Hermione?” James is questioning her now. The pair of them looking at her in shock, like she spent most of her time sneaking around to talk to Regulus Black.

“Be mad at me, I don’t care but you don’t get to be mad at him – Regulus wants better for you than to run back home in some sick twisted move that you think will protect him.” Hermione calls out Sirius and his lips purse. Whatever drama was between the boys, a small sense of family still remained.

“No, he wants me out of the way so he can soak up all the glory, get himself marked and realise the mistake he will have made later on.” Sirius protested, shaking his head and pouting his lips. “And it’s my job as his big brother to stop that before it happens, even if I don’t like him.” Because I love him, was what Sirius’ face said instead.

“Sirius -”

“Would you not do the same for James, Hermione?” He spits, turning the situation back onto the Potter siblings but mainly Hermione. “You’d run in front of a troll to stop James doing it, so don’t even try and deny it.”

“I’m not and I would, but the situation is different.” Hermione answers honestly.

There isn’t a lot she wouldn’t do for James, risking her own life or even giving her own life was nothing compared to making sure that he was safe. That he would grow old and watch his son do everything he wanted, that he had the choice of more children if he wanted – that he would be happy.

Sirius though is contemplating, bemused at the situation. “How?”

“Because I know that James would never even think of marking himself, I know he would not put me in that position – and because...as much as I hate to say this...Regulus doesn’t have a choice in the matter, but you do.” Hermione explains as gently as she can. James and Hermione, Regulus and Sirius, are two different comparisons.

“How does that help?” Sirius asks, at a lose and she wants to understand – wants to reassure him but how do you reassure someone who up until a few hours ago wanted nothing to do with his own brother or family?

“I’ve spoke to Regulus a few times, and I was angry about the path he was going down, but he knows and he’s made a choice – you have a chance to get away and he wants that for you.”

“So I just leave him there to take my place?”

“Yes, and you do it while holding your head high and promising yourself that when Regulus regrets this, because he will, that you will be there to hide him away – we both will.” All while hoping in the meantime he doesn’t get himself killed.

Sirius stared down at her, shifting from foot to foot, silver eyes looking between the siblings, his tongue coming out to wet his dry lips. He didn’t say anything else, but simply turned on his spot and marched out of the sitting room and back up the stairs, leaving the siblings staring behind him.

“I guess we can take it as a good sign that he’s gone upstairs.” James muttered, reaching down to pick up Sirius’ bag as Hermione continued staring, flinching slightly as he reached around to wrap an arm around her, pulling her into his chest. “We’ll keep him safe, Mi’.”

At the cost of Regulus, who didn’t deserve it.

Dumbledore had warned her that she would put her own first and she had failed to listen, refused to believe that she would throw someone under the bus for her own, but wasn’t that what she was doing? Difference being, Regulus knew and Sirius did too – and while she didn’t want harm to come to the young boy, Sirius meant more.

Sirius would always mean more.

Chapter Text

Sunday the 4 ^th of January 1976

She was getting tired of this office – the same circular walls and trinkets – the same man sat behind his desk, half moon spectacles perched on his crooked nose and twinkling bright blue eyes staring at her from behind the glass.

Sometimes she wondered why he even bothered continuing with this charade of checking up on her, calling her up to his office like they had something to talk about, instead of excepting the truth of their relationship that was – they didn’t trust each other. Honestly she just didn’t understand why he didn’t try and pierce her mind and get whatever the hell he was after.

Instead he spoke about something, soft, unaware that Hermione had stopped paying attention the moment he opened his mouth and nothing important came out.

“Sirius was called back home during the holidays.” Hermione spoke, cutting him off before he could go on another tangent that might actually put her to sleep.

“I suspected he might be.” A sigh was all that followed, not true concern or worry, but a simple sigh.

“He didn’t go, I wouldn’t let him.” Hermione spoke again, shaking her head and crossing her arms over her chest. “I refuse to let him walk into that...to give himself over to him.” Dumbledore’s jaw ticked a fraction and his eyes dimmed as he stared up at her.

“Miss Potter…”

“And you were right – I am willing to put my friends before everyone else – to put someone else in their place so that I don’t loose them – you were right about that.” Hermione admitted, his eyes flashed again, with something far too much like pride and Hermione bit her tongue for a second.

“It gives me no joy to -”

“But you were wrong too, because I refuse to let Regulus be anything short of what is expected of him – he doesn’t deserve it, Sir, and if we could find some way to help -”

“I am unclear as to what you want me to do.” Dumbledore spoke softly, leaning onto his desk and giving her his best innocent stare. “I can not save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.” Or save someone who doesn’t fit into my plan. Hermione added silently.

“He’s a child, barely fifteen and more than likely to be marked when Sirius leaves, if we could find some way to save him – I could even ask my parents or the Order -” Her words race to trip over each other, urgently trying to find their way out.

“While I admire your heart, how do you think the Blacks would react as to not only having their heir deny them but their spare then taken away?” Bile raised up her throat as he named them as nothing more than pieces. “How do you think Voldemort would feel, knowing he had been withheld the promise he was no doubt given?” He added when Hermione didn’t speak, a sigh once again leaving his mouth as he leaned forward. “We can not save everyone.”

She knows this, Merlin does she know this. Some things have been changed, a small piece removed had changed a larger part of her future, but now it was unpredictable – except with Regulus and Sirius, the pair of them stuck to their paths no matter what.

And Hermione would be damned if she didn’t try to save them from the pain that would soon fall on their doorsteps – it was the least she could do. Yet Dumbledore would never see it like that, he had made a choice, one he was trying to make now as he stared at her rather pointedly.

“Then why was I sent back?” Hermione snapped, raising her arms. “Why was I given this impossible mission that you refuse to allow me to fulfil – if not to make the future better, end years of war and to save people who didn’t deserve their fate?” Her words lashed out of her mouth, making Dumbledore flinch and lean back.

“You are here for those reasons, but also for yourself, and in that fact, we then have to make peace that with every step we taken into a different future, the unknown can not be predicted.” Dumbledore rose from his desk, leaning slightly and staring at Hermione with that little smile he got when he spoke about something impossible and fascinating.

“Yet Regulus -”

“Might never need to be saved, we can not know and I can not risk other people for his sake.” He had decided, made a choice without even thinking it through.

“I used to think you were a man worthy of respect, a long time ago – but you just play people like pawns, no one moving without your permission, no one planning without your oversight.” Hermione laughed bitterly, shaking her head. “But I warned you once, Professor, and I will warn you again – I’m not afraid to go out on my own and do what I need to do – I am not someone you can control – I have seen the future and I know what needs to be done, you will not stop me any more.”

Bold and stubborn, never knowing when to back down, her father, Fleamont, had described her as he patted her head and laughed. It had always felt like something she should be proud of, but now it soured in her gut as Dumbledore rounded the desk with fury in his eyes.

Hermione though, refused to be afraid, even as he spoke lowly. “I do not take too lightly to insults, Miss Potter, and I think it would do you a great deal of good to remember just how dangerous it could be to insult and disrespect someone much more powerful than yourself.” A warning and a threat.

Yet he needed her, despite his tone and anger, he needed her more than anyone else. He needed her to fall in line and listen, because no one could do as much damage as she could.

“And I do not take too kindly to threats – especially when they come from people who would much rather sit behind a desk than actually help in the war they claim they are a part of.” She left the moment her words hissed out of her, no longer interested in seeing whatever he had to claim.

Nothing good would come from this, and Hermione couldn’t find it within herself to care.

…

Put it away. Put it away. Hermione’s mind rang with every step closer to the Common Room, pushing down her anger and annoyance until it was nothing but a tickle in the back of her mind. An unhealthy way to deal with it, and she would probably explode at some point or the other but she could deal with it for now – or rather, ignore it and not deal with it for now.

A sigh left her mouth as she climbed through the portrait hole, the Common Room except for one who sat on the sofa staring at the slowly dying fire, the faint light reflecting on his hair and adding a tinge of reddish brown to his eyes.

“Zach?” Hermione asked unsure, the eyes snapping to her own, followed by a large grin. She moved slower into the light, the anger fading into nothing as she gave him an amused smile. “Were you waiting for me?”

He stood up, a faint blush on his cheeks as his grin turned more sheepish. “We didn’t get much time on the train today, and I – well I – I wanted to see you before I went to bed.” Whatever tension remained left as she moved forward to wrap her arms around his waist and rest her head on his chest.

Maybe it was too soon – too much happening in one day, too much reliance, but when his arms settled around her shoulders and his head rested on top of hers, she didn’t care to think about it any more.

This is what being a teenager was, moving too fast and not thinking. Sending letters and giggling at replies, been consumed by something that she was sure wasn’t love but still made her feel warm inside. Missing them when they weren’t around and blushing at flirty comments.

It was sweet and simple, and something Hermione Granger had kind of missed out on, her brief relationship with Krum had been nothing more than a couple of kisses. Not like with Zach.

Sweet Zach who probably deserved better, and who would leave Hogwarts in a few months. Her heart ached slightly, the thought of two more years without their talks, without someone seeing her for someone better than she was. It made a sigh leave her mouth.

“You ok?” His hands were large on her shoulder but so gentle as he pulled back, a rare frown between his eyes as he looked down at her with concern.

“Yeah, I just missed you.” Hermione muttered back with a small smile of her own, the frown lessened slightly and his hands moved to cup her cheeks, a question in his eyes as he lowered his head, waiting for her to give him a nod.

His lips were soft and tasted faintly of mint, and his hands moved into her hair, tugging slightly on the curls, Hermione moaned slightly as Zach pulled back, an apology on his lips and his eyes wide, but there was something else there – curiosity and it made Hermione giggle to herself lightly.

“Don’t worry.” His mouth opened to say something but Hermione pulled him back down with another giggle, kissing him with a bit more force and clasping her hands around the back of his neck. His own hands moved from her hair hesitantly and settled gently on her waist, gripping a bit tighter as she let out a content sigh.

It made her insides warm as he pulled her closer, still being mindful, and while she wasn’t complaining but she couldn’t help but wish he wouldn’t hold her like she was about to slap his hands away.

Sirius hadn’t needed to be told what you wanted. The small voice in the back of her mind muttered, shoved away by gritted teeth and feet that moved Zach closer towards the sofa, a small smile on her face as he sat down with a slight an exhale, his mouth opening to speak but his eyes were glassy.

“I -”

Hermione chuckled again, leaning over to give him another kiss on the lips and grinning against his mouth when his hands came up automatically to rest on her sides. She slipped beside him, legs resting over his lap and mouth glued firmly to his – her tongue coming out to trace the bottom of his lip as he groaned, his hands digging more into her side and her whole belly clenching as one hand moved closer to her stomach...

“What the fuck!” Zach pulled away, eyes glazed and hooded, staring down at her probably swollen lips – a frown on his face as he seemed to try and recall why he had stopped. “Why do I always have to walk in on this shit?”

“James?” Hermione asked confused, her head turning to see her brother as she tried to order her body to move from it’s current position, hands on Zach’s chest, her legs over his like she was a second from straddling his lap. “What are you doing here?” Her breathing came out laboured and didn’t help the situation as Zach let out a barely there groan.

“What am I doing? What are you doing – this is a public safe space!” James shouted, his voice raising higher in pitch as Hermione bit out a chuckle.

“James, mate, why are you shou – oh.” The grin quickly slid off her face as Sirius followed after James through the portrait hole, stepping closer into the light and eyes turning stony as he looked between Zach and Hermione.

A sharp twist in the gut and a quick glance from James had her bowing her head slightly and turning away, if Zach thought anything about the stern expression on Sirius’ usually happy face then he didn’t show it. Instead he seemed more focused on taking deep breaths and keeping her by his side.

“Are neither of you going to get up?” James asked suddenly, trying to remove whatever tension remained in the room.

“No, Jamie so why don’t you just run along to bed.” Hermione bit back as Zach ran a stroking hand over her waist and let out another breath, seeming more and more uncomfortable with every passing moment as James’ moved opened and he narrowed his eyes.

“Nah – I think we should stay here, make sure nothing unsavoury happens.” Sirius spoke, grinning once again as he jumping over the top of the single sofa, kicking out his legs and resting them on the coffee table, wagging his eyebrows as his hands rested behind his head.

Hermione wanted to curse him, to remind him that he had nothing to do with this side of her relationship but it was easier to ignore. “Fine, then we’ll just go to Zach’s room.”

“No you won’t, young lady!”

“Like fuck you are.”

The two replies came at once, everyone seeming more surprised at one than the other, silver eyes darting nervously around the room before an easy grin settled on his face and his raspier than usual voice rang out. “You have to understand, Townsend, I can’t just be letting Hermione, my good friend, be gallivanting off places in the night – not until you prove yourself.”

“Prove myself?”

“Sirius, you spend most of your time gallivanting with different girls in broom closets and not once have I asked any of them to prove themselves.” Hermione spoke dryly as Zach frowned, turning to look back at Hermione.

“It’s different -”

“It’s you interfering which I don’t want and I don’t need – Zach and I will make our own choices without you being involved.” She spat out as Sirius scoffed and muttered something under his breath. She didn’t ask what he was saying, didn’t much care what he was talking about.

“She’s right – we shouldn’t be involved – well you shouldn’t, if Zach wants to prove himself then he’ll have to show me, not you.” James spoke next, a bold grin on his face as he crossed his arms and stared down at Zach who was watching his with raised eyebrows.

“James -”

“No, he’s right.” Zach spoke suddenly, standing up and facing her brother. “Not that I’ve given any reason for you to doubt me, but I understand, she’s your sister and you’re protective and I’ll do my best to make sure I never hurt her or make her do anything she doesn’t want to do.” He held out his hand as James eyed it warily.

“Not that you could anyway, she will hex your balls straight off, but I appreciate and respect that – I will also be watching and if there ever comes a day where you fail, I will kill you.” Hermione sighed as James clasped the older boys hand, leaning close and gritting his teeth in a way that she was sure he thought made him look tough but really he just looked like he need a shit.

“I don’t doubt it so I’ll make sure to let you see how much I actually like Hermione, even if I haven’t admitted that to her.” Zach muttered, sending Hermione a red cheeked look as a smile began to form on her face again.

“I think the kissing and dry humping made it known.”

“Shut up – sorry Zach, ignore him, he hasn’t been trained yet.” James spoke, shaking his head and staring down at Sirius like he was a naughty child.

“Fuck off.”

“That’s all I needed to hear though, so you have my blessing to see my sister and don’t piss her off.” James grinned, moving to try and pull Sirius up by his armpits, throwing the boy onto the floor before turning to Hermione. “Now that’s all settled, I think it’s time we went to bed.”

She stared at him wide eyed, hands on either side of the sofa as she thought about actually following through with his command. “James -”

“I may be agreeable but I’m not letting either of you continue.”

“Fine – can I at least say goodnight?” Hermione bit out, standing off the sofa and glaring at her brother as he tapped his chin and turned back to look at his watch.

“Ten seconds.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Hermione whispered, hugging Zach around the waist and cranking her neck to stare up at his face, reaching onto her tiptoes to give him a soft peck on the lips before she grinned. “And if it’s any consolation, I like you too.” His face split into a grin, his hands reaching for her, only to frown as James pulled her away.

“And time to go!”

…

Monday the 12^th of January 1976

“Watch where you’re going, Potter.” His lip curled in a sneer as he stared down at her, all black except his pale face. Severus Snape. And to think they had managed to go a few months without speaking, it was a shame that her luck had ran out within the first week back at school

“I could say the same to you - do you always wait around for people in dark corridors or am I just lucky?" Hermione asked sweetly, standing up and brushing herself off. Snape moved his arm awkwardly, like he had been thinking of helping her up – a flash of something dark peeking out beneath his sleeve.

Something that made Hermione grow cold.

“You wish, Potter.” His black eyes met hers, his arm shaking out his sleeve as Hermione clicked her tongue and tilted her head. In truth she wasn’t all that surprised, though a part of her had wished that somehow Lily’s early exit from their friendship would have changed his mind.

“I can assure that I haven’t, nor would I ever, wish for anything of the sort, Snape.” Hermione muttered, her eyes still flicking to his pale fingers, enough that even Snape looked down with a frown.

“I wasn’t offering.”

“Glad that’s sorted...can you move now?”

“In a rush, Potter?” His black eyes glittered, his lip curling up into some amused sneer as his hands crossed over his chest. “Do you have to go see to the needs of the Gryffindor Tower?” It was meant to be an insult – she knew that, and it so easily should have been one she could have walked away from with a roll of her eyes.

“Actually, I was meeting Lily – you remember her don’t you, red hair, green eyes – Muggleborn?” Hermione asked, tilting her head to the side and giving him a grin that made his smirk drop in a second. “I mean, I can only assume you do, didn’t you used to be friends?” It sounded like an honest question, and maybe it was but it only made Snape grit his teeth harder.

“Shut up.” Her back hit the stone wall, drawing a hiss from her lips as Snape stood in front of her, wand pointed at her throat, her chin tilted upwards, and eyes burning into hers. “You know nothing about me and Lily.”

“I know more than you think – and I know any hopes you had of continuing your friendship were gone the moment you got that mark on your arm.” Hermione gestured down to his arm, the wand poking her neck a bit more as Snape’s eyes turned wide.

“I don’t know what you’re -”

“Was it the moment you turned sixteen?” There was something wrong with her, taunting someone clearly on the edge. “Lily thought about you that night, she wondered how you were celebrating your birthday, I bet it would pain her to hear you spent it being marked by someone who wants her dead.” Yet it was thrilling to do.

The ball of anger and hurt inside her eased a bit, a sick smile making it’s way to her face as a flash of hurt ran through his own. It made her want to be sick, made a side of scream out, she had never been this cruel, never hurt just to forget her own.

“You don’t understand, you never did.”

“Try me.” For a second she thought he might, his mouth open and his hold on her lessening. Something flashed behind his eyes, sad and pleading but gone before she could fully figure out what it meant.

“Snape? Potter?” Footsteps followed the voice, bright blue eyes and shorter waves than his brothers, the green of the lining of his robes catching in the light. “What’s happening here?” Regulus asked after a second, eyes trained on Hermione.

“Your little bloodtraitor cousin was just about to get what’s good for her.” Snape hissed, stepping closer to Hermione once again.

“Perhaps you should put down your wand, Severus – you know the retaliation you will face if they found out you hurt their precious Hermione.” Regulus was stepping closer then, inserting himself into the little space between them and placing his hand on Snape’s arm to push down his wand.

Hermione grinned, sure her eyes were flashing in the light as she moved to look around Regulus. “I can promise you what they will do to you will be nothing compared to what will I do if you dare to try anything else.” Snape’s eyes moved down as her wand slipped into her hand, hidden in her cloak the whole time, his black eyes seeming to burn with fury.

His eyes snapped to Regulus, and Hermione could see how it would look. The smaller boy stood seemingly protective, in front of a girl he barely acknowledged, his arms spread wide and his eyes mainly focused on Snape before him.

“I should have known...one day, your pathetic weakness for these people is going to get you killed.” Snape didn’t wait to see what the response would be, swinging around, his cloaks billowing around him dramatically and his head bowed as he stormed away.

“He has a point, you know.”

“Are you going out of your way to aggravate everyone today?” Regulus turned to ask her, eyes amused and mouth turning up slightly at the corners. Her own eyes rolled as her arms crossed over her chest.

“I think it’s -”

“Hermione?” The pair turned to see the older, slightly more handsome silver eyed Sirius walking towards them, a lack of anger in his eyes but instead a look of stony coldness as he sent a quick glance to Regulus – the boy remaining the same. “What are you doing here?”

“We were just talking.”

“Shouldn’t you be off practising how to stick your head further up Walburga’s arse.” Surprisingly Regulus let out a loud laugh, shaking his head and missing the shocked expressions of Hermione and Sirius as they turned to watch him.

“Good one – but no, instead I’m filling in the drama you made when you didn’t come home.” Regulus spoke, though it didn’t seem harsh, simply as though he was commenting on the weather or the décor of the corridor the three of them stood in. “You should thank me for that.” He added smugly as Sirius glared at him.

“Thank you?” Sirius asked, before biting out a cold laugh. “You’ve all but signed yourself up to be Voldy’s personal boot licker – it’s what you’ve wanted for years, I bet you can’t wait to get yourself marked up and out killing innocent people.” His lip sneered unattractively and Hermione’s heart clenched as Regulus’ smile fell.

“Sirius -”

“Don’t mind him, Hermione, he’ll only ever see what he wants to see.” Regulus hit back, though the tinges of amusement still lingered, they were mixed with sadness and annoyance.

Sirius’ white teeth glinted in the dim light, his tongue running along them and his eyes narrowing. She wanted to stop them, to get them to see the others point of view, to fix the damage done so long ago but it felt impossible at this moment. “I only see the truth.”

“Maybe one day, brother, until then you should start worrying about yourself.” Regulus spoke back calmly, though his hands brushed down his robe, the Slytherin badge catching in the light.

“Is that a threat?”

“Keep an eye on her too, I don’t want to have to do your job of stopping Snape from cursing her annoying little mouth shut.” Regulus added without elaborating, pointing to Hermione with one last tense smile and turning on his heel, leaving the to watch after him.

It made sadness grip her from every angle. So young and the world already on his shoulders, duties that would be expected of him when Sirius finally left, questionable morals and a brother who thought he was going down the wrong path.

A path he had decided to choose simply because he knew Sirius wouldn’t if he didn’t have to.

Hermione didn’t wait to see what Sirius would say, sending him a quick frown as she moved down the corridor, her heels clicking against the stones and his own louder footsteps following behind her. It wasn’t unfamiliar for them to walk together but now it felt forced and strange.

“What were you doing with him?” Sirius asked finally, his arm brushing up against her own and his silver eyes locked onto her face.

“He just told you.” Hermione hissed slightly, turning the corner and letting out a sigh when he grabbed her arm. “Snape and me got into a little argument, I was backed into a wall, Regulus came and broke it up – that’s all there is to it.” Her voice softened as she gently pulled her arm away and sent him a quick look.

“Then why do I feel like your lying.” Maybe she was, about so many things that she didn’t even want to get into with him.

“Because you refuse to see what’s in front of you.”

“Don’t you start too.”

“No, Sirius, don’t you start – he’s your little brother -”

“He’s about to become a future Deatheater!”

“Not because he wants to but because he has to – it took me a long time to see it, to try and understand why he would want to go down this path – but he knows it’s either you or him, and we all know that it won’t be you.” Hermione hissed out, her voice much harder than it should have been, but she was tired of this – tired of trying to make him see.

“So this is my fault?” Sirius asked, a look of disbelief on his face.

“When will you stop being so defensive?” Hermione asked, finally stopping outside the Common Room. “We’ve been through this time and time again since Christmas, when are you actually going to listen to what you are being told?” He let out a little laugh, his breath making the smaller hairs tickle her face.

“When I see him prove it, when I can look in my brothers eyes and know that he isn’t like them, that he doesn’t believe them!” He all but shouted in her face, much too close than what he probably should have been but neither of them moved.

“Can’t you just trust what I’m telling you?” Can’t you trust that whatever mess your brother will get himself into, I will be there to clean it up – to bring him home.

Her voice had been soft and the anger melted off of Sirius’ face as he looked down at her, eye flicking lower than her eyes and then back up as he gulped. She could see the traces of dark circles under his own eyes, the slight growing stubble above his lip and on his chin.

Why did they always seem to end up in these situations? Fighting and then staring at each other for what felt like hours, days even, not a drop of anger left between them but instead something else...something that felt like coming home on a cold day and sitting much too close to the fire.

He burnt her from inside out, lighting her skin on fire with even a trace of his eyes or the gentlest touch of his fingers. And more than that, she craved it, now, tomorrow and when she was alone at night thinking of his gaze and wicked smile. It was both too much and not enough.

“Hermione?” Her breath left her, stuttering and shaking, as she turned her head to see Zach leaving the Common Room.

Her feet took her a step back and an easy smile made it’s way to her face, even as she risked one last look at Sirius. His eyes met hers, understanding flying through them, it was all she needed for now, enough to turn her away and to get back to Zach.

...

F riday the 30th of January 1976

“Erm...good morning?”

“Happy Birthday – Bitch!” Hermione blinked, frowning at Marlene as the girl let out a cackle and threw her arms in the arm, all but diving on top of the girl who was staring at the both of them like they were insane. It was quite possible.

“Thank you, that’s really – for fucks sake Marly, get off!” Lily snapped pushing at the blonde who was all but laid on top of her, the corner of her lips turning up slightly when Marlene placed a sloppy kiss on her cheek.

“Oh don’t be rude, Evans, she’s just trying to offer you the same gift she offers everyone else.” The three girls turned to see Emmeline and Jenny making their way to the bathroom door, catty eyes on them and smirks that tainted their faces.

“And we mean everyone, you just can’t keep your legs closed for anyone, can you McKinnon?” Jenny added nastily, something in her voice that spoke like it was a secret, and Hermione froze, turning to look at Marlene whose mouth was stretched into a tight smile. She had moved off of Lily now, laid beside her with her hands clasped tightly on her stomach.

“I can when you’re involved.”

“Come on Emmeline.” Jenny spoke, moving to grab her best friend and all but drag her out of the room, that even Emmeline looked a bit nervous to be in.

Hermione couldn’t blame her. Despite all their differences, Emmeline had never made a comment about Marlene’s rumoured preferences – no one had. It wasn’t like they could just come out and ask the question that sometimes played on the backs of their minds.

Maybe in a different world, or a different time, it would be more acceptable and Marlene, if that was the case, could come forward and tell her friends honestly – but for now, it was just something they were going to have to pretend they didn’t know.

It wasn’t like it mattered much either way. Hermione honestly didn’t care who Marlene wanted to fuck, as long as her friend was happy.

“What a great start to my morning.” Lily mumbled as Hermione turned her gaze away from the door and back towards her friends.

“Maybe this will cheer you up.” She grabbed the present from where she had rested it on Lily’s trunk, throwing it onto the girls lap and sitting on the edge of the bed as Lily moved to open the gift, taking her time in pulling off the paper.

A gasp left her mouth as her emerald eyes turned to Hermione, watery with tears. "Where did you find this?" Nimble fingers ran over the edge of the book, old in appearance and not even written in today’s English but it was what Lily had wanted.

“I have my ways.” Hermione muttered, a small smile on her face as Lily raised an eyebrow and waited. “I asked dad.” She added with blushing cheeks as Lily grinned.

“Well then I’ll have to thank him when I see him.” Lily teased as Hermione frowned, bouncing slightly on the bed as Marlene pulled herself off and moved towards her own trunk.

“Hey! I paid for it – he just asked a friend.” It was weak but a smile made it’s way onto her face as Lily chuckled to herself, already looking through the pages of the book. “Thank him for the gift he and my mum sent instead.”

“Your parents sent a gift?”

Hermione couldn’t guess why that was surprising, Lily had made a good impression on her parents – that and they had a love of spoiling friends and family it seemed. Hermione leaned back around, picking up the present her mother had so carefully wrapped and held it out to Lily. “Of course – here, open it.”

Lily did so with seemingly extra care, like it was the most important gift in the world to her. Her hand pulling at the parcel, as the box opened by itself, a couple of gifts inside.

“Oh nice, Aunt Effie sent you some biscuits.” Marlene cried, popping beside Lily and placing her own present by the girl as she reached into the box, frowning when Lily slapped her hand away and moved towards the other present. “Ow.”

It wasn’t anything too grand, not compared to what her parents could usually buy, the ruby on her own necklace and the diamond one she had worn to the ball came to mind, but it was sweet and so perfectly Lily in every way. A beautifully feathered quill, Phoenix by the looks of it, and a cream journal to match, her name encrusted in small garnets on the side.

“Is that – are they real?”

“What are they - rubies?”

“Garnets, I believe.”

“My birthstone – are they real?”

“Probably.”

“Don’t just shrug – what – why – your parents must have paid a fortune.” Lily finally snapped at Hermione, her hands running over the dragonhide and stones, her eyes wider than normal with a frown forming between them – quite a strange expression.

“At the risk of sounding overly spoiled and rich, I really doubt that even made a dent in their Gringotts Vault, Lil’.” Hermione spoke slowly, wincing when both girls turned their eyes onto Hermione. She had only been trying to help, it wasn’t her fault that her parents were rich.

“Because that helps.” Lily snapped, her eyes turning watery again and making Hermione cringe as she reached forward to take the girls hand.

“Don’t snap, it was a gift – enjoy it, use it and don’t think about the cost.” Hermione spoke softly, it was a mentality she had to adapt to when she joined the family and was given gifts that probably cost more than they should have, but it was her parents way and if they wanted to spoil her then who was she to stop them.

“And open this gift, it’s not as extravagant as everyone else’s but I think you might still like it.” Marlene spoke, pointing to the gift still beside Lily. “But do it fast, otherwise we are going to miss breakfast.” As if to make a point her stomach rumbled.

Lily let out a chuckle and picked up the present, a small smile on her face as she unwrapped the gift – it was a photo of the three of them from Christmas Eve. Dressed up beautifully, before they got high, all squished together, Lily hugging Hermione and Marlene hugging Lily from behind, massive grins on their faces. A reminder of their fun night.

“Thank you, Marly.” Lily whispered, hugging the girl quickly before moving on to open the rest of her presents from her parents, a smile on her face with each on. "Oh look Petunia wrote a letter." Lily exclaimed, a nervous smile on her face as she opened it up and let out a sigh. "Dear Lily, Happy Birthday, Petunia.”

“You know, there’s short and sweet and then there’s just this – maybe she just got so lost in her emotions that she couldn’t put quill to parchment.” Marlene spoke with a grimace, looking to Hermione for help.

“Doubtful, extremely doubtful.”

…

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LILY!"

If Lily was surprised then she didn’t show it, instead she grinned prettily and moved to give each of the boys as quick hug, staying a second longer than she should have for James, but no one commented, not even the boy whose smile was larger than ever.

The Common Room had been transformed, cake, snacks and butterbeer on a side table, banners and streamers hanging above the windows and fireplace, and people enjoying the atmosphere of what could only be called a tame party, considering the Marauder’s reputation for grand spectacles and burning liquor.

“It’s not much, but it was either this or James prosing, and chocolate from me and Remus.” Sirius spoke suddenly, moving Lily to sit down on the sofa and placing a large square present in her lap, a grin on his face as James blushed.

“Though just to be safe, we did also get you chocolate.” Remus added cheekily, pulling a couple of bars from his robes and setting them on the coffee table.

Everyone turned to James, unsure as he sat beside Lily with a frown, her emerald eyes wary as he pulled something from his pocket and let out a scoff. “It’s just some sugar quills, don’t worry – I’m not going to propose for a few years.” Between three to five to be more exact, Hermione thought to herself, hiding her knowledge behind a careful smile.

Lily simply shook her head, the corner of her mouth turning up slightly as she looked down at her gift, her mouth forming in an ‘o’.

A small cat poked it’s head out of the box, black and white and tinier than any kitten Hermione had ever seen. “You got me a cat?”

“Yeah...well we saw how much you liked Crookshanks and Remus remembered that you always said you wanted a pet...so yeah.” James finished wincing slightly, reaching down to scratch the cat’s head. “Probably should have thought it through or asked your parents...but I can always keep him and we can get you something else…”

James was rambling now and Lily was staring at him with wide eyes, her hands reaching forward to stop his own from moving the cat that was now staring up at her. “No, I – thank you all so much.” She whispered, moving forward to wrap her arms around James.

The boy stayed still, even as she moved back, picking up the cat and cuddling it to her chest and muttering softly as it purred. She didn’t say anything else, seeming more than content to cuddle her cat than actually speak to her friends, a laugh leaving her mouth as Crookshanks appeared on the back of the sofa, scrunched up face peering down the small thing.

“Isn’t he cute, Crooky?” Lily asked, letting the cats smell each other as Hermione stared in shock, turning to James.

“I haven’t seen him in days, but the moment Lily gets a cat he’s there.” She complained, moving to stroke her cat who blinked and jumped to curl beside Lily.

Chapter Text

Saturday the 14^th of February 1976

“Has she named it yet?”

“Yes, Parsley.”

“Like the herb?”

Hermione let out a sigh as she jumped over a rather large puddle, turning back to face Zach as he copied her, frown on his face and his hand reaching out for hers. “Like something she used to watch before she came to Hogwarts.”

“Do you mean – The Adventures of Parsley?” He asked with a grin as Hermione stared at him blankly, allowing him to continue to pull her down the path many other students were walking.

“I don’t – how do you know that?”

“I saw it a couple of times – Halfblood, remember?” He pointed to himself, swinging their hands back and forth between them and giving her a rather cheeky grin that had her cheeks tingling and her own smiled threatening to break out.

“Still...I barely see Crookshanks any more, he spends most of his time with Parsley.” Hermione pouted as Zach let out a little chuckle moving forwards to rest his hands on her waist instead, sending her heart racing through the roof and her mouth drying slightly as she stared into those kind eyes.

“Aw – come here.”

“It’s not funny.”

“Of course not.”

“Stop it.” She couldn’t help laugh as he tried to pull her forward again, her head tilting up as he placed a soft kiss on her nose, making her face scrunch up and her cheeks turn red. “I’m sorry, this is probably not the romantic conversation you were hoping for.”

He let go of her waist slightly and narrowed his eyes as Hermione cringed. He had asked her to Hogsmeade, on Valentines day, had spoken about getting a date outside of the castle together and simply enjoying their time together, one that Hermione couldn’t help but think would fleeting in the next few months when the weight of exams hit them.

Or when school finally finished and they would probably end up going their separate ways.

“Hermione, we can talk about whatever you want – I don’t care, as long as we are together, which we are, and on our way to Hogsmeade for our date, which we are.” Zach hands were suddenly gently cradling her face, bending down to look in her eyes. “For me, I just enjoy spending time with you.” Her heart broke slightly and her whole body seemed to heat up.

“Me too.” The words were whispered as though she was scared the students passing them by would hear. “As long as we aren’t heading to Madam Puddifoot’s.” She grinned after as his eyes twinkled with amusement.

“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t even dream of taking you there.”

…

Rain began not an hour after arriving, mixing with the slush of old snow and leaving the ground wet in a way that would probably ice over before long, and meaning that students had taken advantage of the warm stores, or in the case of Madam Puddifoot’s, couples had taken refugee to eat each others face where everyone could see.

Hermione instead had taken a seat under one the closed shops, watching as the rain drops fell from the awning, herself perfectly safe and dry with Zach by her side.

“So I was thinking.”

“Don’t hurt yourself.”

“Shut up you – I was thinking that – well this is going really well for the both of us, or I hope it is and well – I would like it continue going well, so – do you...do you want to...maybe go out with me?” His words rushed out of him like he couldn’t quite stop himself. His own eyes wide as Hermione turned to face him with a small smile.

“Zach...are you asking me to be your girlfriend?” She asked, though the smile on her face offered some calm, her heart raced inside and her brain twisted with anxiety and a flash of silver eyes.

It wasn’t fair, she wanted this – she wanted Zach and everything he had to offer. She wanted the calm and someone who wanted her, she wanted kind brown eyes and soft sweeping hair – kind smiles and honest filled words. She didn’t want to feel as though there was a part of her craving someone else, she wanted to move on from him – to live her life without him taking up her thoughts.

“Yes?”

“Yes?”

“Yes I am.”

“You are what?” Hermione frowned, fully breaking away from her thoughts to focus on the man before her, the one giving her his softest smile that melted all the doubt away.

“Asking you to be my girlfriend.” He whispered the words and reached forward to push away a curl falling on her face. It was sweet and made her heart ache just a bit more, even as she offered him a nervous and slightly tense smile. “Will you be my girlfriend?” His voice clenched at the end, almost as if he knew.

Her tongue moved around her dry mouth and her smile eased into something more genuine. “Of course.” She whispered the words as he grinned back at her. “Now, boyfriend, how about we go have a butterbeer to celebrate the mushiness that is you asking me out on the cheesiest day of the year.” It felt easy to tease.

“I knew it would be too romantic for you.” Zach sighed as he stood up, reaching for her hand and pulling her to stand beside him so he throw an arm around her shoulders.

“Of course it was, but it was still sweet – though I will now be expecting flowers and chocolate otherwise this whole Valentines day will not be have been living up to the girly expectations in my head.” Hermione mumbled into his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist and squeezing him tight, hiding the frown that marred her face.

…

The Three Broomsticks remained packed, as usual, students, teachers and random people alike squished into seats or standing by their friends as laughter ran through the pub and drinks splashed over tables. It was both too much and comforting at the same time as Hermione stood before Zach, eyes scanning all of the tables.

A redhead sat between messy black hair and mousy brown that held a couple of greys, easy to spot amongst everyone. Though strange to see as James and Lily laughed at something the very tired Remus said, bags under his eyes and the symptoms of a day away from the moon showed.

Quickly she looked around for Marlene, though the girl was either not here or mixed among the crowds, instead she found Sirius, his arm around some familiar girl whose name escaped Hermione’s tongue, a vicious smirk on his face as he said something to Snape as he passed, the boy stopping for a second to send a look to Sirius.

Whatever was happening there, she wasn’t going to get involved, though it didn’t mean her throat didn’t clench up when those silver eyes flashed her way. Her hand reached for Zach’s, her head turning to face him instead. A calm in the storm of emotions that ran through her veins.

“HEY MI’! ZACH!” Zach let out a chuckle as James’ voice carried through the pub, a few people turning to look at the couple stood by the door.

“Seems we’ve been spotted, would you like to sit with them?” Zach asked, his hand reaching out to rub her arm and his face turning sympathetic, like he knew was plagued her. Maybe he did, maybe she had made it obvious – or maybe he just knew something bothered her.

“Would you?” Hermione asked with a raised eyebrow, sending a quick look to her brother who was staring at them both expectantly. “I mean...we are on a date and I understand if you would rather have a bit more privacy.” She whispered the last words as he flashed her a toothy grin.

“We can have privacy later, I want to see what your friends are like.” Hermione allowed herself to be pulled along, a small smile on her face as Zach eagerly dragged her towards her friends, like he couldn’t wait to sit with them, grabbing extra chairs and sitting them down between James and Remus with a grin.

“Don’t you both look lovely.” James grinned, leaning onto one hand and pressing a finger to Hermione’s red nose.

“Are you drunk?” She whispered to him, grabbing his drink to take a small sip and frowning when she realised it was just butterbeer, weak in alcohol and not very good at giving anyone more than a light buzz if they drank over ten of them.

“No, just enjoying the loving atmosphere.” He whispered back, letting out a sigh and sending Lily a pleading look, though the auburn haired girl pretended not to notice it. “And hoping that next year I won’t be celebrating alone.” He took his drink back and took a big sip before placing it back in her hand.

“Alright lover boy.” She muttered, taking a sip as Zach raised his eyebrows and frowned down.

“You do realise our drinks are on their way, right?” She shrugged her shoulders and took another sip. It was just a weird habit the siblings seemed to have, passing drinks and sweets between themselves without a care, then refusing to share with other people.

“What do you mean alone, me and Lily have been with you since this morning?” Remus asked suddenly, cutting off James where he was muttering to himself. The werewolf groaned, leaning slightly onto Lily as Hermione tensed her jaw. She need to figure out Wolfsbane or buy it the moment it came out.

“And I’m hoping next year you won’t be here.”

“I’m ignoring that since we have a guest – how has your date been so far?” Lily asked, red cheeked and turning towards the pair. Zach frowned and looked away from Remus to focus on Lily as Hermione let out a small chuckle.

“Overly romantic and mushy.” Hermione teased, the table seeming to freeze, narrowed eyes on Hermione and Zach.

“Are you ok?” Lily whispered across the table as Rosemerta placed the drinks, Hermione reached for hers with a roll of her eyes and Zach looked bemused.

“Did you put a spell on her or something?” James asked Zach with wide eyes, letting out a cry as he pressed a hand to Hermione’s forehead, holding her there as she glared at him. “See, my sister...well I’m convinced she isn’t a girl, not a normal one – she hates mushy things...she even despises the colour pink.” He whispered across the table as Hermione slapped his hand away.

“You’re so dramatic.”

“So please, Zach, tell us what you did to make her behave like a blushing maiden.” James spoke with a wicked grin as he fanned Hermione’s face, ignoring her slapping hands.

“I just asked her to be my girlfriend.” Zach spoke unsure, looking around at all the faces. Remus looked half tired but smiled quickly, Lily was in awe and James just looked like he couldn’t quite figure out how that was something to be considered mushy.

“Wait...what?”

“To be fair...he did it on Valentines day with his hand up my -” Hermione laughed loudly as James slapped a hand over her mouth and pulled on a couple of her curls.

“You’re supposed to be a young lady!” James shouted back as she pushed him away, laughing again when he tried to reach for her, sending her backwards into Zach who held her there and gave James a pointed look that had the hazel eyed boy smirking.

“Why are the Potter’s wrestling?” The whole table seemed to stop, tension seeming to settle over all of them as Hermione looked up to see him, silver eyes and black waves staring down at her, his eyes flickering to how Zach was holding her.

“Zach asked Hermione out, she’s teasing James about how it happened.” Lily explained as Hermione looked away and back to her friend who was watching her with worried eyes. “Sorry Zach, I’m so happy for you both – we all are, aren’t we Remus...Sirius!” If she hadn’t have known better then she wouldn’t see how Lily shifted slightly and Remus jumped.

“Ow – yes we are, mate.”

“Fucking chuffed - congrats.” Sirius mumbled and Hermione gulped slightly, her stomach twisting with unease as the boy sat himself down between Remus and Lily, eyes hard and focused on Hermione. Everyone at the table seemed to wait, watching between them like something might happen.

And how much had she wanted something to happen? She couldn’t exactly say, but whatever hopes she had of maybe starting something were crushed months ago – and Hermione Potter wasn’t one to wait around on a boy who didn’t know what he wanted or where he would be sticking his dick next time. She was done with all of that.

And Sirius needed to be done with it too.

Silver eyes blinked at her, head slightly tilted to the side like a dog, once she would have melted to whatever he wanted but instead she remained cold in the face of his unheard question and offered a tense smile. “Thank you.”

Her grin broadened as she turned to face Zach, his hand resting on the back of her chair and his fingers playing with her curls. Any annoyance eased away and was filled with the fluttering butterflies of a first romance.

“I needed to pick up some things from Tomes and Scrolls – fancy coming with me?” Hermione asked him, his face scrunched up in slight humour as turned to pick up his drink, downing it in a few seconds, turning to grin at her as he wiped the froth moustache with the back of his hand.

“Fine but only if you come to Zonkos -” Hermione pushed down James before he could stand up, his eyes brighter than a child on Christmas. “- and Honeydukes afterwards.” Zach finished, eyes glinting as Hermione smiled.

“What would Valentines be without being cheesily asked out and some chocolate.” Hermione commented dryly though she smiled and reached to grab his hand, larger fingers wrapping between her own. “And yes Remus, I will get you some.”

…

The Common Room had never looked as appealing as it did now, warm and cosy, empty of students as many stayed in Hogsmeade or made their way to have a warm dinner. Hermione would have joined them but she couldn’t quite pull herself away from the man stood before her, looking far more appetising than the food downstairs.

Zach stood before her, shaking off his cloak to reveal the slightly water plastered t-shirt underneath, shaking out his hair with his fingers, back muscles and biceps stretching to accommodate him, light brown eyes watching her and eyebrows frowned as her cheeks heated up and her fingers dug into the fabric of her own coat.

“Are you ok?” Zach asked suddenly, standing up straighter and walking towards her, bending down to look at her face. “You’re not getting sick, are you?” A single drop rolled down his forehead, passing by his lips and dripping off his chin, her eyes following it’s journey.

Was she sick? She certainly felt hot, like her body had been thrown in the most delicious fire and it was consumed her body with lust. But no, she wasn’t sick, she was being thrown smack dab in the middle of teenage hormones and horniness for the man before her.

Small hands reached to curl around the front of his t-shirt, pulling down his face and placing her lips against his own, a small moan leaving her mouth as his hands rested on her hips. The fire inside her burning hotter than ever with a need to continue what had barely even been started.

“I think we should go to your room.”

“Ok – why?”

“Well we can’t go to mine, you can’t get up the stairs.” She mumbled against his lips, feeling confusion and perhaps something else as her hands moved to grip the bottom of his top, small fingers reaching to touch the skin underneath.

“Oh –“ The sound tumbled out of his lips, eyes going slightly wide as he pulled back, her fingers drifting over his stomach. Hermione frowned, pulling back slightly, the heat lowering and her focus coming back.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to, and we don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to – I guess I jut wanted to take advantage of any alone time we might have had – I’m sorry.” Part of her brain screamed that she shouldn’t be apologising, and instead jumping on him, the part clouded by lust and want it seemed.

Zach eyed her with his own frown, his mouth falling open and curving towards one side. “I – you don’t have to be sorry – I – I wanted to make sure you were sure and that I wasn’t forcing you into anything.” He chuckled at the end and placed another kiss on her lips.

“No at all.” Hermione whispered against his lips, trying to fight the lust side of her brain from returning in full form and ruining this moment. “So did you want to -”

“Come on.” He chuckled, holding out his hand for her to take, a goofy smile appearing on her face as followed behind him, leaving her coat and Remus’ chocolate on the chair with a part of her hoping that no one would take them, but she doubted her friends would be far behind.

The thought left her mind in an instant as Zach led the way past the boys dorms, stopping outside of one and sending her a quick smile as he pushed open the door.

It was much the same as her brothers, though instead of three beds and more space, there were six and a bit more mess, Muggle posters hung on the wall and a pile of shoes beside the door. Zach stared around embarrassed, his cheeks turning pink and his free hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck as Hermione stared on amused.

“Sorry, things kind of get left around with six boys crammed in here.”

Hermione let out a chuckle, moving towards the bed she could only figure was his by the family photo on the bedside table. It bounced under her weight. “Well they’re not here now.”

Something that sounded like a breathy laugh and sigh left his mouth, tongue coming out to wet his lips as he moved towards her, sitting beside her and rubbing his hands down his jeans. Adorable and nervous, it made Hermione smile.

She opened her mouth to speak, to tell him they didn’t have to do anything he didn’t want or feel ready for when he reached over to place a soft kiss on her lips, mouthing opening slightly, making all of Hermione’s thought leave her mind with a single moan.

His hands moved to hold her waist as she pulled him closer, toeing off her shoes and edging him further on the bed, hoping he would get the message which he seemed to as his own shoes clattered on the floor, and he laid down beside her before he pulled back with a frown.

“Is everything -”

“We’re not having sex.”

“Is that because you don’t want to or…” Her words trailed off, cheeks flushing as she laid all but half on top of his, doubting her own words as she was pretty sure she could feel whether he was interested or not...and she was leaning towards the latter.

He moved, gently pushing her off of him and leaning half over her with a frown and an amused smile. “No, it’s because I think you deserve than a rushed job half an hour before dinner finishes.”

“Confident in your abilities?”

“Maybe a little.”

“Does that mean we can’t do anything?” Hermione asked, teasingly, raising an eyebrow as he coughed out a laugh, running a hand down her side and giving her that kind smile that made her heart race just a bit faster.

Her smile dropped and her breathing picked up faster as he ran his hand further down her side and pressed a harder and much more intense kiss to her lips. She let her own hands drift down, pulling at the hem of his t-shirt and grinning when he caught her meaning and pulled back to get rid of the offensive material between them.

The grin stayed on her face as his lips moved down her neck and her fingers scratched up his chest, loving the groan that left his throat and the way his hands moved on her waist and upper thighs.

…

Her feet didn’t seem to want to cooperate when she made her way down to the Common Room half an hour later, legs feeling like jelly and her eyes slightly unfocused. She couldn’t stop the grin on her face or the giggle that left her lips as Zach’s hand brushed against her back, a softer smile on his face but his cheeks brighter than her own.

“Hermione?” She turned, slightly shocked at where her friends sat around the fire, Remus huddled under her coat with his chocolate on his lap and James watching her with narrowed eyes. “What happened to your hair?”

If her cheeks weren’t red before then they sure were now as she reached up to touch her hair, feeling the curls large and frizzy under her fingers, her mouth opening to try and find an explanation as Marlene chuckled behind her hand and Lily rolled her eyes.

“Pretty sure her shirt is on back to front too, Prongs.” Sirius muttered, eyes still hard but lips curling into a small smirk as he shook his head and looked away. James’ eyes drifted downwards and his mouth opened as Hermione let her head drop, a small chuckle leaving her throat as Zach coughed beside her.

“Oh for – you know what I don’t need to know.” James’ voice was strained, his head turning away as Hermione let out another laugh.

Chapter Text

An eye for an eye (and a tooth for a tooth). - Book of Exodus 21:23–27 

Sunday the 15th of February 1976

The air was cool, with snow sticking to the ground below, glittering under the rising moon, contrasting rather nicely with the tense atmosphere that existed between Hermione and Marlene at this moment, Lily watching on in amusement, her eyes flickering to the grounds to watch for the boys.

“Because I am not saying anything.”

“I thought I was your best friend.”

“Yes, but that does not mean I have to tell you everything – especially about what happened between Zach and I.” Hermione snapped, leaning over the edge of the tower to watch as Remus was brought to the Whomping Willow by Madam Pomfrey.

“Judging by your hair and his stupid grin, I know what happened.” Hermione turned to glare at Marlene who grinned and wiggled her eyebrows. It had been none stop all day, and Hermione was about as done with this conversation as she was five hours ago.

“Then why are you trying to make me talk about it?”

“I want to know how it was – then we can compare!” Marlene cried as Lily grimaced and shook her head while Hermione actually was a second away from pushing her friend over the edge.

“Ew – no – I am not comparing anything, especially when it could involve my brother.” Marlene blinked and cringed, shaking off and sending an apologetic look to Hermione. “Just leave it alone, Mar.” She added, leaning back slightly.

“Just answer me this – was the sex good?” Marlene whispered as Hermione fought control to jinx the girl quiet, tensing her lips as she turned to face her best friend, and offering her the one thing that would shut her up just enough to make the rest of the night peaceful.

“We didn’t have sex.”

“But – oh God, what the hell did you do then?” Lily cried suddenly, Hermione and Marlene turning to look at her in shock, slight smiles appearing on their faces as the girl looked between them bemused.

“What?”

“You were a mess all evening, if you didn’t have sex then what the hell happened?” Lily asked, Marlene chortled behind her hand as Hermione turned back to face the sky, no point hiding her smile as Lily tried to innocently figure out what had happened.

“Do we have to get the biology books out, Lil’?” Marlene asked, wrapping an arm around the girls shoulder and grinning wolfishly. “There’s other things a person can use to make a woman crazy – they are called fingers and if you’re brave, a tongue.” Marlene was practically vibrating with amusement as Lily blushed redder than her hair.

“I know that but – well it can’t be that good.”

“Depends on the guy, some can’t seem to find the magic spot and some – well they can make it better than sex – and judging by Hermione’s blushing face, it seems Zach is one of the latter.” Hermione bit back a smile as Marlene nudged her arm and gave her a pointed look. She wasn’t going to say anything out loud but she could admit that Zach knew what he was doing.

Lily’s frown turned deeper, and her head tilted to the side as her tongue ran over her lips. “Does it not scare either of you to have a guy around there?” She gestured to below her belly as Hermione let out a small laugh.

“If he’s just fumbling around then sure but it’s kind of hard to care when it’s good – the sensible part of your brain forgets to be embarrassed because the randy part has taken over.” Marlene explained with a small wink before she sighed. “Maybe a bit after the first couple of times, when everything comes back.” She admitted with a small smile.

Hermione kept her mouth shut, her head bowed and her thoughts to herself. It had almost felt natural to her and Zach, and yes maybe a part of her had done this before, but Hermione Potter hadn’t. Yet, he had made her feel everything and not left room for her to be embarrassed afterwards. And she had waited for it to come, for her cheeks to turn red and her hands to cover her most private areas but it didn’t.

Instead she had smiled, joked with him and pulled on her clothes, and hoped in the back of her mind that they could continue like this – perhaps she could convince him to blow her mind with sex first.

Would he mind if she sneaked up to his dorm tonight and tried something? Merlin, it was like he had flipped a switch in her mind and now her whole body was craving more of an intimate touch, wondering when she could get her next fix.

“...considered becoming an Animagus?” Hermione blinked out of her lust induced thoughts to turn and see Lily frowning down at the grounds.

“Once or twice, but not at school – I wouldn’t want to take that away from them.” Hermione answered back, a soft smile on her face. James and Sirius had done this for Remus, and they could keep it – she had another plan in mind to help their friend. “Also...you’re not supposed to know -”

Hermione stopped speaking as Lily placed a finger against her lips to quiet her down, leaning as far over the railing as she could without falling over, her eyes narrowed as she focused on the figure now running towards the Whomping Willow.

You were supposed to stop this. A voice whispered in her head as her heart jumped to her throat, the moon reflecting off of the greasy haired git now running to his own ruin. And she was too far away to stop him.

“Fuck.”

Then her legs were moving as fast as they could, consequences of being spotted by any teacher or Prefect could be damned, so long as she got there to stop Snape before he got himself killed or injured. But every step seemed to last an hour.

Why the fuck was the Astronomy tower so high up and far away? And is this what Sirius had been saying yesterday? Had he once again lured Snape out to the grounds? It was too much to think about and it made her stomach twist uncomfortably and her brain throb in time with the sounds of her feet against the stone.

She didn’t want to believe he would have done this, that he was still so immature and petty that he would risk someone’s life and his friends secret. She was so close to finding out now, the cool air slapping her face and the frosty grass crunching below her feet.

Yet Snape wasn’t there, nothing around but the slightly frozen Willow, the tunnel to shrieking shack open below. Had he gone through?

Fuck. You shouldn’t be out here. The voice whispered again, like a gentle caress against her brain. You’ve led your friends right to the monsters door – do you think he won’t know that you are here?

A growl sounded down the tunnel, far enough away that it only seemed to be a warning, enough time to leave if they did it now. “We need to go now!” Hermione hissed to her friends, moving forward to hopefully lead them away. “Lily come on -”

“What about Severus?” Wide and fierce emerald eyes glinted in the night, but Hermione couldn’t focus on that because she was sure she just heard another growl, much closer than the last.

“You do realise we are literally steps away from where Remus becomes a hairy monster with no control, right?” Marlene snapped, gesturing to the tree, eyes wide with fear, a snap of a branch causing them all to grip their wands tightly and look around.

“I am not leaving my friend.”

There were times Hermione admired her friends loyalty, but tonight was not one of those nights. It was stupid to be out here, for the three of them to run onto the grounds without stopping to think about what would become of them if Remus found them. Anyone else would have ran to a teacher, waited until the morning and hoped everything was fine.

But no, they had to be pure Gryffindor and try to save someone who spent his days insulting and belittling them. Stupid.

Hermione opened her mouth to say that, to scold her friends and to scold herself, when a branch snapped behind her, followed by a snarl and heavy footsteps.

Most creatures wouldn’t give themselves away, would sneak and attack before they could even realise they were face to face with a yellow eyed, drooling creature. But Remus didn’t seem to care for that, he gave himself away because he knew they couldn’t do anything – that they were slower and weaker, that one snap under his strong jaw and sharp teeth would put them down.

He stalked towards them, preparing to prance and Hermione let out a breath.

When they say everything slows down with adrenaline, they're lying. In reality everything seems to speed up like pressing a fast-forward button on a VHS player.

A blast of light shot from her wand, sending the werewolf backwards with a whine, shocked for a second, and giving the girls just enough time to start putting some space between them as a large black dog dived onto Remus.

“Move. Now!” Hermione shouted, pushing her friends away as the dog did it’s best to try and stop the werewolf from following, a small yelp leavings it’s mouth and twisting Hermione’s stomach.

She wanted to turn back, defend Sirius from the fight that was happening, to make sure he was safe and out of harm but her legs refused to stop her moving, her eyes focused on the Qudditch Pitch ahead of them and making sure her friends were out of harms way, and that if the werewolf followed then he would be away from the school.

Another yelp echoed around them and tears sprang to her eyes but she didn’t stop, not even as a howl was heard followed by the stomping of feet and something hard clashing behind them.

Her lungs burned beneath her skin, aching with the lack of oxygen, and her legs almost buckled from the weight and speed that she was making them use. A crack of thunder echoed above them, dark clouds rolling in as the first drops of rain splashed. Perfectly echoing the distressed mood the three girls now possessed.

A small pant left her mouth as she came to a stop before the changing room, pushing the girls inside and locking the door behind her as silently as she could, while her body shook from the sudden onslaught of cold that the rain had brought.

There was a thudding outside, a slight whine and a snarl. Hermione didn’t dare to open the door, turning to the girls and letting out a breath of a whisper. “Hide where ever you can, and don’t hesitate if he comes in.” She moved herself, as quietly as possible to duck near a table as more thudding was heard outside.

It seemed to last for both hours and minutes until it finally stopped, whatever was outside was gone with a final howl and a growl, fed up it seemed and leaving them alone but Hermione still didn’t dare open the door, but turned to look at Lily, the girl had silent tears running down her face while Marlene had turned incredibly pale.

"Now what do we do?" Marlene whispered, her voice breaking, she pushed her hair from her face, leaving a slight muddy trail from her hand. She was covered in dirt and a few scratches, soaked to the bone, Hermione almost felt guilty for not even noticing if the girl had fallen over, but it was better than the alternative.

"We wait." Hermione whispered back, pulling her knees to her chest and gripping her wand. If she closed her eyes she could imagine, if only for a moment, she was back with Ron and Harry when they were on the run. But this wasn't Deatheaters or Voldemort, they couldn't hex there way out of this, it was crazy that she almost missed that.

"We can't leave?" Lily asked, Hermione opened her eyes and turned to the other girl. Words on the tip of her tongue that died with the fear in Lily’s eyes.

“Not unless you fancy joining Remus every month!” Marlene snapped, shaking slightly and throwing her wet robe into the corner of the room with a glare.

“But he’s gone!”

“Or he’s waiting for us to come out, don’t be so stupid Lily!” The blonde added, sneering her upper lip and sitting on one of the benches with a sigh as Lily shut her mouth, cheeks bright pink and eyes full of unshed tears.

Look at what you’ve done.

…

They waited hours, though it was still dark outside by the time the howls finally stopped. They hadn't moved, didn't want to risk making any noise and they all looked tired. Hermione was the first to move as she heard footsteps walking closer, a hand knocking on the door had her hand gripping her wand tight as she signalled to stay silent.

She moved cautiously towards the door, carefully unlocking it, letting out a sigh of relief when James and Sirius entered. They looked even more worn down than the girls and they were head to toe covered in mud.

"What in Merlins saggy left ball were you three fucking thinking?" James snapped as he slammed the door shut behind them, his eyes burning into them. He'd never been so angry before, at least not with them.

"What were we thinking?" Lily hissed back as she moved from behind the table, her hair seeming to crackle with anger. "What was Severus even doing down here?" She asked, James let out a sigh and rubbed his eyes behind his glasses.

"It doesn't matter any more, he got away." Hermione stared at her brother, while Lily scoffed and moved closer, eyes burning like the fire from a floo and aimed directly at James.

"Of course it fucking matters, you almost got him killed and Remus, what the fuck is he gonna think about this, how could you be so stupid." Lily’s voice was raising more and more as she got into James' face, her lip curling into her sneer and a finger pressed against his chest.

“You think you are one to talk about this when all three of you ran down here in the dead of night, knowing what was waiting and knowing what could happen.” James snapped back as Lily’s face fell in shock. “You all could have been killed because of your stupidity!” Never in her life did she think she would witness a time when James would shout back at Lily.

“I was trying to save my friend.”

“Well you didn’t I did, he’s fine and up in the castle without a scratch on him.”

“What was he even doing down here?” Lily fired back, her chin tilting upwards and a nasty smile making it’s way across her face. “Was the heroic James Potter just looking for an excuse, send him down here and save his life so he owes you...is that it?” James flinched and his jaw tightened. “God you are so pathetic and to think I thought you were growing up -”

“Stop talking, Evans.”

“Don’t tell me -”

“If you want to stand here and insult me over something you have no fucking clue what you are talking about then go on, but I don’t have to fucking listen to this!” James hissed out, leaning slightly over the smaller girl, his hands clenched by his sides.

“Someone nearly died because of your stupidity -”

“Snape wasn’t down here because of him.” She had wanted so hard not to believe it, to think yesterday and today had been some sort of fluke, that this was something that was meant to happen regardless of what she did. And not because of Sirius. “He was here because of me.”

James hung his head and Marlene let out a gasping hiss, as Hermione rubbed her face, fingers pulling on the curls that had stuck to her head. She had failed, hadn’t paid enough attention to what was happening and now things were falling apart before her.

Lily frowned, letting out a sigh as she turned to look at Sirius with disgust on her face. “What is wrong with you?”

“It was just meant to be a joke – I didn’t think he would actually go through with it!” Sirius exclaimed, his hands held before him and his silver eyes hard in the darkened changing room, wincing slightly as he clutched his side.

“Great defence.” Marlene snorted as she stood up from her seat, crossing her arms over her chest. “What did you expect for him to do?” An eyebrow raised as Sirius stared at her with an open mouth and no doubt excuses rolling through his mind.

“Why didn’t you stop this?” Hermione would have stopped it if she could, would have told Lily to stop if her mouth would just work but it was too late and those green eyes, Harry’s eyes, were being turned onto her brother, accusing and hurt.

“You are unbelievable – you stand there and insult me, learn it wasn’t me and yet somehow still turn it back on me when I haven’t done a fucking thing!” James snapped out, taking a step backwards from the girl and shaking his head, something dangerous flashing behind his eyes.

“Sirius is your friend – you should have stopped him before he did this – what happened tonight is on you too.” Lily hissed, pushing her hand against his chest and letting out another sneer that would make Snape proud. “You’re all cruel petty little boys.”

“No it isn’t – I don’t control Sirius, as you can see, he did this and he’ll pay the consequences of his own fucking actions.” Sirius hung his head but James didn’t look back. “But I’m glad to know that you think so little of me, maybe you can tell everyone else because I’m done with all of this bullshit.”

James had always been dramatic, he lived his life doing the extreme and relishing in it. He never cared if people rolled his eyes, or called him out, most of the time he would grin and shrug his shoulders, make a joke and accept how people thought of him but tonight was different…

She never expected him to walk out of the door, to give Lily one last hurt look and turn away from them all, throwing open the doors and letting them close behind him with a bang that made them all flinch and Lily look as though she wanted to punch something or chase after him.

For all Lily had called him in the past, she seemed to be regretting the emotional things that had spilt out of her mouth and no doubt hurt the friendship that had been building between the two.

“Lily -”

Emerald eyes burnt with tears and then she was gone, in a flash of soaking robes and red hair, Marlene trailing behind her, but not before sending a look to Hermione.

“Mi… Hermione.” They’d left her, like they always did, to clean up the mess Sirius had made, to tell him off because no one else seemed able to. “I didn’t – I didn’t want him dead – I just thought – and after what he did to yo– I’m not – I’m sorry.” And yet she couldn’t believe him, couldn’t turn to look at him and see the truth behind those beautiful eyes.

“Any apology owed is to Snape and Remus, not me.” Hermione whispered to the ground, taking in a shaking breath. “I just can’t believe you would think this could go any other way – you almost got someone killed!” House flags hung over the door, dusty and old, and far more interesting than looking at him.

“I wasn’t thinking!”

“You never think – Merlin – you’ve...you stopped thinking a while ago and you’ve just been making a mess of things ever since and leaving us to pick up the pieces.” Finally she turned, anger burning through her veins as she stared at his pale and lost face, the face of a boy who thought himself above everyone else.

“That’s not -”

“What do you think James is doing now?” She asked lowly, moving forward. “I imagine he has gone to Dumbledore, explaining the situation – probably where you should be too.” She added nastily as Sirius gulped.

“Hermione -”

“Just go, Sirius – I’m going to check on Remus, makes sure when he turns back he knows he didn’t hurt anyone...that he still has friends he can trust.” It was low, but she didn’t care. She didn’t care how he flinched or the pain in his expression. She didn’t care if he was hurt or if he regretted it. She just couldn’t fucking care.

...

Monday the 16th of February 1976

Madam Pomfrey had only cast her a small glance when she entered the Hospital Wing, a sigh leaving the matrons mouth as she took in the damp and dirty girl making her way towards Remus’ corner, no doubt it came from having to clean up the mess Hermione was leaving behind.

Maybe she would apologise once she was done checking on her friend, her friend who was sleeping peacefully without any knowledge of the prior night. Looking sick and younger than ever, and urging her forward to sit by his side and run a finger down the scars on his face, the faint skin tougher under her skin.

“I’m sorry.” Hermione whispered, leaning forward slightly to touch his hair and offer a smile that he couldn’t see, even as he frowned. “I should have seen it coming...or stopped it – after all, that’s why I’m here, right?”

Remus shifted, his leg nudging into her hip but his eyes remained closed and his breathing was still deep. She stared for a second, a part of her wishing that she could have chosen him instead, that maybe her life would have been easier if she had gotten a crush on a different friend instead of the one that had drama spinning around him.

“I keep making mistakes, forgetting that just because he won’t allow me what I’m supposed to do, that doesn’t mean I can’t fix other things – and so I’m sorry because you don’t deserve this.” A tear slipped from her eye as she leaned down to place a small peck on his cheek and run her fingers through his hair again.

“Mi’?” Panic flooded through her as unfocused green eyes met her own, a fake easy smile making it’s way onto her lips.

“Hey...how you feeling?”

“Like I just got hit by a car – why are you here?” Remus asked, his throat dry and a wince flashing onto his face as he looked around before settling on Hermione’s appearance. “What happened?”

“Don’t worry about it for the moment – I...or Dumbledore, will explain everything when you’re properly rested and feeling better.” She should have known he would panic if she brought the headmasters name into it, even as her hands moved to try and offer some comfort.

“What? What do you mean explain what happened?”

“Don’t worry about it -”

“No, I am – you sit here looking like you’ve been dragged through a muddy pond and expect me to lay back down and pretend that something is going on?” Remus hissed out, sounding more and more panicked with every word. “Did I bite someone?” He gasped out, turning quickly from pale to green.

“What! No, of course not.” Hermione answered with a shake of her head, as Remus let out a small sigh.

“Then what happened?” She wanted to turn away from those eyes, ones that she knew would grow hardened and full of wisdom, that would offer both questions and answers. That would make Hermione Granger feel as though she could be trusted and could trust.

There was never a man like Remus Lupin, so kind and brave...and loyal. That would walk away from his family because he was scared of what he might have done, that would trust an old friend, that would protect Harry as best as he could. And that would love with all of his heart even if it hurt him – even if it meant he had to put himself last.

He deserved better than what he got and she promised to herself that she would make him see his worth, but that meant being honest.

“Hermione?”

“Sirius thought it would be a good idea to tell Snape about the Whomping Willow, I don’t know why – I didn’t care to hear his excuses, but Snape got it in his head that last night would be a good idea to try go inside – James saved him before you could do anything.” Hermione explained softly as Remus’ face fell even further, eyes twinkling with unshed tears.

“I didn’t hurt him?” Remus asked unsure, like he thought she might be lying to him about what had happened, doing her best to protect him from his more dangerous side.

“No – no, he’s fine – probably a bit shaken up but no one was hurt.”

“You were there?”

“Lily, Marlene and myself saw the beginning from the Astronomy Tower...we stupidly thought we could help – it wasn’t our smartest choice, I’ll say that – but we’re ok.” Hermione muttered with a small smile but Remus couldn’t see the humour in her words, instead he stared sternly at the curtain that separated him from the rest of the ward.

“I could have killed you.” He whispered and Hermione let a harsh breath leave her mouth. She could see him there, yellow eyed and sharp fangs, her death a moment away.

“Yes, you could have.” Hermione whispered back as Remus turned to her with sad eyes. “But that would have been our own fault – we know what you are and we shouldn’t have even tried to go down there in the first place, regardless of our intentions.” His mouth opened, furrowed eyebrows and eyes hardened.

“For once, Miss Potter, we agree.” The pair turned to see Dumbledore stood in the small opening, James and Sirius behind him, both of them looking thoroughly scolded.

“Glad to hear it, Sir.” Hermione muttered back, sitting herself straight and narrowing her eyes as the old man entered and sent her a quick look.

“I have never been as disappointed as I was early this morning.” He spoke, taking turns to stare at the black haired children around him, bright eyes staring over his spectacles. “The three of you have caused more trouble in the past few hours than you have in your five years at this school and frankly, I am at a loss as to what to do with all of you.” James rolled his eyes and Hermione let her mouth quirk to the side as Sirius bowed his head.

“I’m sorry, Sir, I’ll - “

“Mr Lupin, despite your direct involvement, you had nothing to do with any of this – thus you are free from any punishment and can be rest assured that Mr Snape will not be spilling your secret to anyone.” Remus stared back in shock but nodded his head, relief lowering his shoulders as Hermione gave him a small smile.

“As for the rest of you.” He continued as Hermione stood up from the bed, and crossed her arms. “I have looked over your need to break the rules, and stood with admiration at how you have protected your friend – but I can not look over what happened last night.”

“Are we suspended, Sir?” James asked, foot tapping against the floor as Hermione bit her bottom lip – she couldn’t leave the school.

“No, it was considered, and your parents have been informed to a certain extent of your rule breaking, I expect punishments will be delivered but as for here there will be a months worth of detentions, and a warning that if anything like this happens again, all three of you will be expelled – you can also pass the message along to Miss McKinnon and Miss Lily and I will send notice of your detentions later today.” Dumbledore turned to look at her, almost as though he expected her to fight back but she simply nodded her head.

There was nothing she could say or do to make this situation better, regardless of whose fault it was that they were down there didn’t matter, they had all been stupid to think they wouldn’t be caught.

A small smile made it’s way onto the old mans face as he turned to leave, sweeping cloaks and buckled shoes caressing the floor as Hermione glared after him. Her parents were going to kill her, that much was certain.

“I better go tell Lily and Marlene, leave you three alone to talk.” Hermione muttered, turning back to face her brother as he frowned at her.

“We have nothing to talk about – maybe Sirius should go and tell them that his stupidity will be the reason they’ll be forced into detention for the rest of the month.” James snapped, looking more like an angry dog than normal, furious eyes turning to glare at his supposed best friend.

“James – we need to talk.”

Hazel eyes spun around to face Remus, who looked a second away from throwing up and passing out, far too tired and injured to have to deal with this so early in the morning.

“Sure – I get that – but I’m not doing it now.” James hissed out, not even turning to look at Sirius who had all but shrunk into himself, not that Hermione could bring herself to offer comfort. “Snape was one thing, a stupid thing that not only him in danger but you too – and to make matters worse, it almost got my sister killed!” His voice was raising now, and Hermione felt her heart clench...her dear sweet brother angry for her.

“Which Remus and I have already spoken about, and it was my error for going down there in the first place.” Hermione muttered, sending a quick look to her brother before she reached over to place a kiss on Remus’ cheek. “Now don’t fret over it, nothing has changed – just...get some rest and I’ll come up and see you during dinner.” She turned to leave, stopping when Remus gripped her hand and pulled her back to whisper in her ear.

“Don’t leave him all alone – he does stupid things when he’s alone and at least one of us has to forgive him.”

“Then why doesn’t that person be you?” It was childish to turn the question back on him, he had a lot more to forgive than her. His secret had been exposed to yet another person and he'd almost killed some of his best friends but as he shrugged his shoulders and smiled slightly, she couldn't help but think that he was always a better person than herself. “He has to learn that his stupidity will kill someone one day, and personally I’m tired of always feeling like we have to pick up the pieces.”

…

It was unfair and possibly cruel to leave the boys as she had, Hermione kept thinking on her way from the Hospital Wing, but she couldn’t sort this out for them.

Her whole body seemed to ache with tiredness but the thought of going up to bed was appealing, she wanted fresh air and a break from talking or wondering what might happen to their little group after the previous evening.

A sigh left her mouth as the courtyard came into view, her feet trailing along the ground in eagerness to get outside, stopping when red hair whipped in the wind, as Lily turned to face Snape – the pair obviously arguing over something.

Her mother would kill her if she knew she had been eaves dropping but Hermione couldn’t help but duck behind the stone wall, moving until she was close enough to hear what they were talking about.

“...thought we were supposed to be friends?” Snape asked harshly, black eyes glaring at Lily with an anger that was normally reserved for the Potter siblings or Sirius. “Even after the whole ball scenario...we were meant to be friends. Best friends.” He added as Lily flinched away.

“We are – or we were – it doesn’t matter...I’m not talking about this, Sev.” Lily whispered back, her eyes scanning everywhere. “I can’t talk about this with you – not when you’re like this – not when you are hanging round Avery and Mulciber.” Her voice rose slightly and her eyes became wider. “I can’t trust them or you...not after what happened with Mary McDonald.”

Hermione flinched, back pressed against the stone as she tried not to remember how the girl had been after what had happened – very few knew – but most knew it had been bad. Bad enough for the girl to leave school for a month to stay at home.

“That was nothing.” Snape defended, a small laugh leaving his throat. “It was a laugh, that’s all…”

“A laugh? You think using Dark Magic is funny…”

“As funny as what Potter and his friends get up to – you know, the boy you claim to hate but can’t seem to stop hanging around.” His words are bitter, jealousy slapping Hermione in the face and she can almost imagine Lily rolling her eyes.

“I’m not getting into this with you.”

“You know don’t you, about Lupin.”

“Sev, stop.” Lily’s voice cuts through her friend like ice and Hermione gulps. “I know your theory and I’m not admitting to anything except that I know what will happen to you if you keep trying to find some loop hole.” A small sigh leaves Lily’s mouth as she all but admits that she knows.

“Then you should admit it – it’s not safe with him here.”

“He’s not different than us.” Lily defends quickly, voice like ice. “Why are you so obsessed with them anyway? They’re not out there using Dark Magic – in fact if anything you owe a thank you to James – he saved your arse last night.” Hermione blinks in surprise, she hadn’t expected Lily to admit that after what went down the night before but it’s warming to hear.

But Snape doesn’t hear that way, detest leaving his mouth in a rush of words. “Saved? Saved? You think he was playing the hero? They were the reason I was down there! He was his neck and his friends’ too!” His voice turns sharp and Hermione closes her eyes. “You’re not going to – I won’t let you -”

“Let me? Let me what?” Lily asks back, just as sharply.

“I didn’t mean – I just don’t want to see you made a fool of.” Snape backtracks, voice shaking slightly but the damage is done. “He fancied you.” Hermione can almost picture Lily rolling her eyes again. “And he’s not...everyone thinks he’s some big Quidditch hero and you -”

“James Potter is an arrogant toerag, I don’t need you to tell me that.” Lily says but there’s something else in her voice...something that sounds like doubt. “But he’s not cruel – he’s not Avery or Mulciber who are just evil, Sev.” Their voices drift back softly and Hermione sinks further into the wall as they walk past her, barely speaking and seeming more awkward than ever.

Chapter Text

Forgiveness is a strange thing. It can sometimes be easier to forgive our enemies than our friends. It can be hardest of all to forgive the people we love. - Fred Rogers.

Wednesday the 10th of March 1976

Detention was shit.

Nearly four weeks of spending well up to midnight doing whatever their teacher demanded of them was annoying, not to mention that it came on top of heavy homework and preparation for O.W.Ls which meant Hermione wasn’t sleep nearly as much as she should have. On the plus side she wasn’t as stressed as she once would have been.

Still sitting in Slughorns classroom, her friends in different corners of the room with a bunch of jars and ingredients before them was more annoying than it would have been if this was a normal class.

“Now don’t worry about getting this all finished today, I have asked Dumbledore if you will be able to come back tomorrow.” Hermione could have lobbed the knife she was using to cut some sprigs at his head and hope that stupid smile left his face. “It’s better than being with Mr Flich, is it not?”

“For you maybe.” Hermione muttered under her breath as Slughorn chuckle, happy with the free labour he was getting as he waddled to his desk.

Quickly she cast a look around, feeling the same annoyance niggling at the back of her head. James was in front of her, as far away as he could from Sirius’ sad face and Lily’s stubborn and somehow apologetic glances. Marlene had fallen asleep on her desk and Snape, who had been a surprising addition to their detention, was glaring at his jars.

It felt like forever since they had been in a room and been able to speak without someone flinging a bitter comment or harsh words at someone else and Hermione was left in the middle. Her brother now an annoying presence that seemed to want to stick to her side while also trying to avoid Lily who also wanted her attention, while Hermione tried to avoid Sirius’ glances.

In her moments of need, it had left her drained and sneaking up to Zach’s room where she could escape them all for a few blissful moments, though still not the kind she really wanted. Her boyfriend was adamant at not doing that while his room mates slept around them – but he could do other stuff that left her breathless. Whatever, she wasn’t thinking about that.

The door opened as she gave a valerian spring a harsh chop, her eyes looking up to see Remus walking in.

“Lupus -” The whole class rolled their eyes as Remus kept a polite smile on his face. “ my boy, what are you doing here?”

“Professor McGonagall caught me sneaking out, she said if I was going to behave like my friends then perhaps I should join them here, I took it to heart and decided what was life without a bit of a birthday detention.” Remus grinned cheekily, Hermione rolled her eyes as James let out a groan. It wasn’t that they had forgotten, more like they hadn’t been able to do anything due to their situation.

“It’s your birthday? Marvellous, and how old are we today, Lupus?” Slughorn asked with a large grin, placing a pounding hand on Remus’ back that had the boy stumbling.

“Sixteen, Sir.”

“Good age, I remember when I was sixteen.” Hermione cringed as her professor looked off to a spot nowhere, eyes glazed over and a wide grin on his face. “I expect you’ll be having some kind of party, though don’t worry about me, I won’t tell anyone – providing I get some cake, that is.” He belly laughed as Remus chuckled.

“I would, Sir, but you see all my friends are here – kind of hard to have a party alone.” Manipulative little bastard. Surely it wasn’t going to work, Slughorn wasn’t so naive that he would fall for Remus’ little ploy.

Slughorn stared back at him before pursing his lips and shaking his head. “That is sad...well perhaps...perhaps we can finish detention a little early today – finish this load tomorrow instead.” He muttered, the group staring up at him in slight shock.

“Sir…”

“Go on now, though no partying too late – you do have class tomorrow.” He gestured for them to leave, the group not having to be told twice. Even Snape rushed out, barging into Remus on the way for the door and all but running away. “Though if there is any cake, I expect a piece.”

“Of course, Sir – thank you.” Remus said with a grin, his eyes twinkling as he shut the door behind them and gave a little laugh, the group stood outside the door with wide eyes, all six of them laughing like they hadn’t spoken in weeks.

“That was amazing...I owe you my life.” James muttered, clinging onto Remus and pretending to wipe tears as he was pushed away by Remus.

It seemed to settle then, the group remembering who they were around and what had happened. Sirius shrunk back into himself, James’ smile turned into a glare and Hermione let out a sigh as Remus clenched his jaw.

“We should probably head back.” Remus muttered as he began leading the group around the castle, eyes cast downwards, only stopping when Sirius let out a cough, the whole group turning to face him.

“So listen, I’m sorry about all the shit that’s happened – and I’ve been carrying round this all day, hoping I’d get a chance to give it to you but I know we aren’t speaking and this seems like a better time – so here – happy birthday.” He reached into his pocket, pulling out a carefully wrapped gift and handed it to Remus who stared at it like it was a bomb.

“Thanks.”

“I’m sorry about everything – I made a mess of things – not that I don’t usually but this was bigger than what happened and I’m sorry.” He mumbled out as Remus nodded his head, a sigh leaving his mouth as he put the present into his robes.

“Yeah you did, and it was pretty fucked up, and just because you apologise doesn’t mean things will go back to the way it was.” Remus explained as Sirius nodded his head in agreement, pushing his hands further into his pocket. “But it doesn’t mean we can’t work our way back there.”

If there was something that could describe hope then it would have been Sirius’ face in that moment. Wide shiny eyes and a small smile forming on his lips as he nodded his head and let out a breath. “I’ll do whatever it takes for you to trust me again.”

“I’m sure you will – though it might take some time and maybe a few moons apart – I know we’ll get there.” Remus whispered, reaching forward to pat Sirius’ arm with a softer smile.

“Are you being serious?” Lily scoffed out, both boys turning to look at her as Remus raised an eyebrow, an amused grin making it’s way onto his face as he opened his mouth to speak and Hermione felt herself groan.

“No he is -”

“I’m with Evans on this one, surprisingly.” James interrupted before Remus could finish as Lily turned to look at him with wide eyes. “After everything that happened, you are just going to forgive and forget like that?” Hazel eyes were more furious than fiendfyre, and he looked a second away from jinxing the both of them.

“I’m not forgetting, but I miss my friend, and I know you do too.” James scoffed but his eyes gave him away. “And since I was the one most effected by it, I am the one who gets to decide, plus I can’t go through the next two years in this constant awkwardness.” Remus added, shrugging his shoulders and trying to continue walking.

James wasn’t having it though, moving to stand before the boy with a glare. “That’s beside the point – he could have gotten someone killed, could have outed you -”

“But he didn’t, and I’m looking past that in favour of thinking he’s learnt from his mistakes.”

“Has he?”

“James.” Remus bit out with a sigh, sending a quick look to Sirius who looked ready to turn and leave them all here.

“Because all I see is this long list of things he’s done wrong, to you, to me, to Snape, who is a lot of things, but he didn’t deserve that.” James spat out, unaware of the grateful look Lily sent his way. “But especially to my sister, who he’s hurt time and time again, while I’ve sat and watched.” Sirius cringed and shook his head.

“I didn’t -”

“I don’t care.” James snapped out, glaring at his best friend. Though they weren’t best friends at this moment.

“And I don’t want to be dragged into this, Jamie.” Hermione whispered out, pulling on her brothers arm and sending him a quick frown. “This is Remus’ choice and we have to respect that.” She added at a lower volume as Remus gave her a grateful smile.

“I’m with Hermione, and Remus, so if they forgive you then I do too.” Marlene spoke suddenly, clapping her hands together before reaching out to punch Sirius’ shoulder with a tense smile that had the boy looking a bit more relieved.

“I never said I forgave him.” Hermione spoke with a frown, a small hit of sick joy filling her veins as Sirius turned sad eyes onto her, tension easing into every muscle he possessed.

“Then I’m just with Remus.” Marlene blew out, cringing and sending a quick look to Hermione. “Though I’m with Hermione in saying that we aren’t going to be dragged into this and that maybe the three of you should talk – and us three should leave.” She gestured between the girls as Hermione nodded her head and Lily raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t -”

“And you don’t have to, but right now I think we need to let them talk without ears listening.” Marlene whispered as Lily scoffed but nodded her head, moving away from the group as Hermione followed, staying close enough to hear Marlene whisper to Remus. “Sorry and happy birthday.”

…

Thursday the 11^th of March 1976

It was shit that nightmares still plagued her, ones of people who had yet to even exist or who had no idea who she was at this point in time. And yet it was the only thing that she could cling to that let her know she wasn’t crazy or imagining things – the memories and how real it all felt, left her secretly begging for more.

It also left her exhausted in a way that didn’t allow her to sleep and instead had her sat in the Common Room far too late or early, depending on how you looked at it, with her homework laid out on the coffee table and her books beside her.

Here she didn’t have to pretend, force a fake smile or act like she wasn’t plagued by anything and everything, but instead she could do what she needed to do.

“Oh shit – sorry I can -”

Hermione turned to look as Sirius stood by the back of the sofa, half way turned like he was going to run back to his dorm. His hair sticking up at every angle and his pyjamas crinkled past no return, but it was the silver eyes watching.

One part of her wanted to tell him to go, to leave her alone and let this festering grudge stay between them. That they would ignore every problem he had ever created for them, and pretend that they were nothing more than friends of friends – that they would spend the next two years greeting each other civilly and go on with their lives. It would be easier and a more than a tiny part of her wanted that.

But another part remembered the boy she had a crush on, the one that made her laugh and the one that was her friend that she had tried so hard to protect. The one who was no doubt going to walk into some shit this summer and come to her home for help.

Though mainly he was someone she still cared about despite everything.

“You can sit down if you’d like.” She didn’t smile or make her tone polite, instead she spoke as though it was the weather, her head nodding towards the chair as she went back to her work.

He didn’t need to be asked twice, sitting in the single chair and shuffling about, his eyes looking everywhere as though he was sat in someone’s house for the first time and trying to find something to talk about. And as much as she respected the quiet while she worked, the tension was far too intense for her to even focus.

“Why are you down here?”

“I could ask you the same -” Sirius began, a grin on his face that quickly faded as Hermione gave him a quick glare. “- but I won’t because that is not my business.” He added a nervous laugh afterwards as Hermione rolled her eyes.

“No it’s not.” It was rude and her tone had turned a bit colder but she didn’t really care. “Look if you’re here to apologi-”

“I’m not or I wasn’t when I came down but I think I ought to.” Sirius cut her off as Hermione frowned, her words dying on her tongue as he let out a deep breath and rubbed his hands against his pants. “You haven’t deserved half of the shit that I’ve done this year.”

“Is that your apology?”

“No – I was making a statement – doesn’t matter because I am sorry for everything I’ve done – kissing you, being a dick about it and...well being the reason you went out last month...and everything else that I’ve done.” He sounded so sincere that she wanted to believe him, but there was something holding her back – there always was with him.

“Why did you do it?” Hermione asked, his silver eyes turning panicked in an instant that she felt the need to reassure and hurt him. “Not the kissing and what you said, that was a long time ago and frankly I don’t care about it any more, but with Snape...”

His face twisted into something much sadder than before, silver eyes moving away from her and towards the fire. “I don’t think this is the right time -”

“Why not? You apologised, and I want to hear your reason for what you did so I can decided if accepting it and moving on from all of this is going to worth it for me.” If you are still worth it. The voice in her head whispered the words she didn’t say aloud but they both knew she meant.

“He threatened you.”

“What -”

“You didn’t see it, but it was on Valentines – and he saw you with Zach and started mouthing off about what you got up to...with people – and then he mentioned Remus, he was hinting at something and I couldn’t stand it so I…” And she had seen it, had watched their little interaction and hoped nothing would come of it. It had been right before her very eyes.

“So you mentioned where your friend went every month, the night before the full moon?” Hermione asked in disbelief as Sirius winced away from her sharp glare.

“I wasn’t thinking.”

“No you weren’t.” Hermione answered back, because when did he ever think about anything but himself and what it meant for him. “You’re lucky it didn’t end up worse because it could have, you know that right?” His silver eyes focused on her, almost begging her not to say anything more but she was too angry to let this slide now.

“Hermion -”

“One bite is all it takes – one bite and your life is either over or you’re forced into the traumatic experience that you watch one of your best friends go through every month.” Her book slammed shut as she pushed it from her lap. “That’s all it would have taken, Snape could have died or turned, I could have or Lily or Marlene, and then that would be on your hands.” She gestured to his hands, his eyes looking downwards as though he expected them to be covered in blood.

“I know.” He whispered, shaking his head as he looked at her with pleading eyes. “But I just – do you expect me to let someone get away with what they were saying about you?” Why did he even care when he had done all he had? Why did it make her heart beat a little faster that he had jumped to her defence?

“I don’t care what people say about me!” Hermione snapped coldly, standing up and trying to ignore the beating in her ears. “And certainly not to the extent where you willingly put someone’s life at risk just to try and defend me...why the fuck would you think I wanted that?” Anger pushed through whatever else was happening as she pictured Snape broken and bloody.

“I don’t...I didn’t...but I couldn’t just stand by, not when it comes to you – you mean more to me than that.” No. No she wasn’t doing this, he wasn’t pulling this on her. He wasn’t going to pull her in again.

Yet her heart still stuttered as his eyes danced with fire light, so unique and beautiful, her breath coming out in a pleading whisper. “Because we’re friends.”

“Because we’re us, because despite how much of a dick I have been to you and everything I have done, you mean more to me than just some friend I can have a simple conversation with.” He stood before her, not too close but close enough that she could see every line on his face, and he could see the begging denial on hers. “But you’re right, I shouldn’t have done what I did, and I’m sorry for how it effected you and for nearly getting you injured.” A sigh left her mouth as he stepped away, breath flooding back into her lungs.

“You know, once upon a time, I would have done anything you asked of me and backed you in every twisted decision you made.” Hermione whispered as Sirius flinched. “And I believe you won’t do it again, not that anyway, but I find it hard to believe that somehow I won’t end being hurt by the next mistake you make.” It was harsh, but she was done, she wanted this to be done.

“I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you for what’s happened, and I won’t hold onto it but I think we both know that too much has happened for us to go back to whatever we were before.” Her words were whispered and her eyes were strangely watery as Sirius nodded his head.

“That doesn’t mean we can’t try.” So hopeful, he wanted so much but couldn’t seem to try to even get there. “We’ll be okay, right?”

She wanted to answer with an affirmative, nod her head and give him a grin, see that hope still shine in his eyes, but the words caught on her throat and doubts crept into her head, swirling around and darkening her thoughts. They were only okay when Sirius was, it always depended on him and how he felt and never her.

Instead she wet her lips and looked away with a frown. “I don’t know – maybe one day.” It seemed cruel and his whole body seemed to sag as he nodded his head. She offered him a soft smile, gathering her supplies and heading towards her bed, feeling her stomach clench as she heard him all but fall back onto the chair with a sigh.

...

Saturday the 13^th of March 1976

James was talented, Hermione had always been aware of this – she had known him pretty much all her life and he was her brother. And she loved him.

That being said, she did not understand why her presence was required in watching yet another Quidditch match that she knew he would win, and also being forced to stand in the presence of some rather rowdy Hufflepuffs who seemed to have broken out of their kind natured shells to shout insults at the team in red.

“Do we have to stay for the whole match?” Hermione whispered to Zach, his arm around her should in an attempt to try and keep the chill away from her.

His eyes crinkled and he chuckled as he looked down at her, using his other hand to tug on a curl and pull her closer into him. It sent tingles down her whole body and made her feel like she was high or drunk with lust, wanting nothing more than to drag him somewhere and carrying on exploring all the places she had yet to see.

Or do the one thing they had yet to do.

So instead of doing that when the castle was all but empty and no one would be walking in for a good couple of hours, she was stood here being forced to watch her team compete. To feel the chill when they sped by her, ruffling up her already imperfect hair and sending another cold chill over her body.

Perhaps she was being too negative, maybe she should be cheering and shouting like Lily and Remus were, or even like the boy before her who sneered at everyone and everything.

“Come on Hufflepuff!” He screamed, hands almost smacking Hermione in the face as he leaned over the railing. “Little pussies have got nothing on us.” He chuckled, some of his Hufflepuff’s slapping his back like it was the funniest joke in the world.

“Lot of big talk from a bunch of weasels.” Zach muttered as the boy turned around to face him and Hermione let out a sigh. Of course it was Smith, man was the cockiest Hufflepuff there ever was.

“Badger are known for being ferocious predators.”

“And lions are known for having strong jaws and being the king of the animal world – and seemingly the Quidditch one too.” Zach pointed out as Marlene scored another goal, looping around the pitch to her adoring house and laughing at the pouting Hufflepuffs.

“Yet you all still bend down to your slag bitch of a girlfriend the moment she growls -” Hermione could see it coming the moment both them opened their mouth and started the worst insult battle she had ever seen. They should have seen it coming too.

“And Gryffindor scores again and – wait – why’s Potter got the Beater’s bat?”

For no one insulted Hermione when her friends and brother was around, especially her brother – who had taken control of the beaters bat and flung the bludger straight at the boy, Smith’s eyes going wide with terror, even as Sirius flung before him, sending the boy backwards as he gently tossed the bludger away from the stands with a grin and a wink.

Hermione watched him go with a small smile as Smith laid on the floor shaking, muttering about how he was an inch away from death.

“It seems Smith is running his mouth again – can’t say I blame Gryffindor for giving him a little scare – though Professor McGonagall would like me to remind her team that any further threats will be met with detention – though I can say Professor, I don’t think Black and Potter care too much.” The commenter rambled on, continuing afterwards as Remus reached out to help up Smith.

A small yelp left his mouth as he was pulled face to chin with the werewolf, tired and a few days off the moon and now clearly pissed. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t have to because Smith was staring at him with wide scared eyes that one little shove was all it took for the boy to turn tail and leave.

...

Tuesday the 16 th of March 1976

“Snape!” Hermione called out as the rest of the class headed towards dinner, or in some cases towards the hospital wing and then the Whomping Willow.

Snape turned, looking over from his desk as he slowly packed up his things, black eyes staring at her unsure before they flickered to the rest of the classroom and his whole body tensed as he seemed to realise they were alone. “Potter.”

“I need to speak with you.”

“And I am not interested.” She glared as she leaned against the door before he could make his way there, making sure her wand was safely tucked up her sleeve. “What do you want?”

“To make sure you stay exactly where you are supposed to tonight.” There was no point stretching this out, she would make sure he stayed in the castle even if it meant spending the entire evening and night locked in this room.

“Don’t worry, I had no plan of repeating things.” Snape hissed at her, flicking his greasy locks out of his face as Hermione tried not to grimace. He didn’t make things easier for himself, she was sure the boys bathroom stocked on things like shampoo – it wasn’t that hard to use.

She would give him some tips but she doubted it would go over well, so instead she settled on. “And you’ve kept your mouth shut?”

“Not through choice – Dumbledore made it very clear what would happen if I was to tell your friends secret.” Snape hissed out, glaring at her from across the classroom before his lip turned into what could have been a smile. “So I guess you can run along to your little pet and let him know.” Hermione let out her own scoff, the wood of her wand tickling against her skin.

“Would you believe that Remus thought you wouldn’t say anything?” Hermione asked and Snape seemed surprised, if not a bit annoyed. “I doubt it, I know you – so desperate to be accepted by the Purebloods who will only ever see you as less – so I don’t doubt that you won’t look for a loophole.” She whispered the words with a taunting smile.

“I made an unbreakable vow.”

“Good – then you best hope that if you find some way to reveal Remus’ secret, that you run and hide somewhere far away because Merlin knows I’ll find a way to finish what the unbreakable couldn’t.” Her teeth flashed in the light, and Snape shivered slightly. “That was all.”

Her smile became more polite as she swung her bag onto her shoulder and threw a half hearted wave to him before her hand reached for the handle.

“You’re just like them, you know, that family you try so hard to pretend you aren’t related to.” For once his words weren’t cutting, but they cut Hermione deeper than she wanted to admit, even as she raised a simple eyebrow and looked to him.

“Those people wouldn’t protect their own – sometimes Snape, sharing blood does not mean they are family – it just means they might be a nice donor for blood or a kidney and nothing more.” Hermione explained with a shrug of her shoulders. Though she doubted her father would happy to spare an organ if she needed one.

“You’re a Potter -”

“I am, but not by the one you are thinking of, but by the parents I chose, who raised me and showed me kinder morals than those I share a name and blood with.” She spoke softer than she ever had to him, even as he glared at her. “You could have had the same, you could have walked away from the hate and anger your father showed but you didn’t, you’re straying down your own version of the same path – marked and filled with hatred.” Her eyes drifted to his arm where she knew the mark lingered.

“You shouldn’t talk about things you don’t understand.”

“You think I don’t understand what it is like to have a father who is cruel and unkind?” Snape flinched, and opened his mouth. “My true father, the one you hint towards, murdered my mother while I watched – you can not victimise yourself when most people at this school deal with similar, if not the same situations as your own, and yet they do not go spewing hatred or marking themselves – you think you are unique, that you are special, but you are more of the same.”

It was cruel but not untrue. Her parents, whether Granger or Potter, excluding Octans, had never abused her mentally or physically, but it didn’t mean other parents hadn’t. She had heard tales for plenty of people at their school about how they were smacked for being rude, how their fathers were drunks or their mothers didn’t care.

A sign of the times, where parents could hit their kids and wives, and it wasn’t seen as something too wrong, no matter how much it was. It wasn’t right, and if she could change it she would, but it was more normal than most thought.

“Perhaps I wouldn’t have taken this road, the one you so despise, if you hadn’t had taken Lily from me...if I had someone -”

“You would have done the same, you were already preparing to the same the moment you got your letter and those whispers started.” Hermione snapped with a shake of her head. “Do not pin this on me, when you have done this to yourself.” He was always so eager to blame someone else.

“It’s not as easy to walk away from now, it’s not as easy to pretend I don’t disagree with what he says.” Her heart stopped as she watched him, black eyes flitting with an emotion she wasn’t sure she could understand.

“I imagine not.”

“Maybe one day I will, could be tomorrow or when I complete my first task, but Merlin knows I can’t walk away from this now.” He whispered, and for a second she thought they were having some kind of moment.“I don’t want to walk away from this.” But it was gone as he spoke.

“Even if it costs your friendship with Lily permanently?” Even if it gets Lily killed? The voice whispered for her, the words a second away from spilling out.

He stared for a second, straightening his back and narrowing his eyes. “Even then.”

Chapter Text

Family doesn't end in blood - Supernatural (and possibly someone else but I'm unsure)

Friday the 16 ^th of April 1976

Once upon a time, or actually at very recent time or maybe all the time, the United Kingdom was known for it’s beautiful disgusting class system. Five different tear system that placed everyone inside a little box and let people know whether they were disgustingly poor or richer than rich.

Marlene was lucky enough to say that she had been born into a Pureblood family that had little to no ties with the more purer families.

Though she was not proud to say that her family were crazy, and spent most of their time trying to become some up and coming family that stuck to old traditions that outdated the ideas and ideologies the next generation seemed to want to move in.

Hence the recent letter she had received from her dear cold mother;

Dear Marlene,

As you are aware, your O.W.Ls are coming up – an important moment in any witches future that will determine her own success as well as the success of her house. We are aware of your recent exploits and are disappointed to hear that you have not been fulfilling any of our recent demands that you act more like a Lady and less like a tramp.

The name McKinnon carries a weight, and it is high time that you start doing your duty, as your brothers have. Matthew will be marrying this summer to a lovely girl from a good family, and we have decided that this will be the perfect opportunity for you to enter society and show everyone that the rumours are nothing more than nasty gossip.

You are almost of age and is it time to start putting the house in order before prospects start calling on your father and I.

We expect no more problems from you, and we expect great results for your O.W.Ls. If you do not comply then there will be consequences.

We will speak more this summer.

Mother.

Fucking stupid the lot of them. She wasn’t going to marry some tooty fruity idiot who would only want to use her for future heirs and then fuck off to his mistress. She wasn’t going to be some brain dead Pureblood wife.

The parchment screwed up in her hand before it was thrown, a distant sound of it hitting something having her look up from her place in the Common Room, as a sigh left her mouth.

Hermione Potter, purer than most fucking Purebloods and with parents who wouldn’t force her to eat a pea if she said she didn’t like it, stood before her, parchment clutched in her hand and a single eyebrow raised as Marlene tried to show a smile.

“Nice catch, you should try out for the team.”

“I’d rather dangle from the Astronomy Tower.”

“That seems more dangerous than flying around on a broom.” Marlene pointed out as Hermione snorted out a small laugh, pink cheeked and frizzy haired. No doubt having come down from Zach’s room. How nice it was for her friend to be able to have a choice in that matter and not have to keep it a secret.

Marlene scoffed as Hermione’s smile died and she frowned in concern, reaching forward to stare at Marlene with those bright knowing eyes. “What’s wrong?”

For a second she wondered if she could tell Hermione, if her friend would offer comfort or run to try and fix the problem that Marlene wasn’t sure could be fixed. “It’s just family things.” She settled on as Hermione frowned. “They want me home for the summer and I’m not sure I want to go.”

“Oh well – I’m sure my parents will -”

“But I have to go, Matthew is getting married.” Hermione raised her eyebrows and smiled, slightly crooked and one thing that seemed to make her less perfect and yet added it all the same.

“That’s nice, isn’t it?” Hermione asked, like it was normal to be excited about the prospect of your brother getting married, maybe it was to someone who would only ever because they wanted to. “Why are you not happy?” Her best friends face fell and worry took back over.

“I am – completely ecstatic – because how could my brother marrying some woman we don’t know be anything other than a joyous occasion for Purebloods everywhere!” Marlene shouted, a fake grin on her face as she threw her hands in the air and let out a cold chuckle.

Hermione looked around, before frowning at the parchment she was still holding. For a second, Marlene thought Hermione might open it, read the words for herself and understand more, but she also didn’t want her to. She didn’t want to see the pity in Hermione’s eyes, and the girl didn’t seem to want to give it either.

Instead she placed the ball of parchment onto the table and turned to face Marlene, straight backed and hands on lap like all little Pureblood girls were taught. “I won’t read that because I know you value privacy, but let’s not pretend to each other that nothing is wrong here.”

“My parents are expecting a lot – good O.W.Ls, no whoring around – you know the usual.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, Marlene, but normally you don’t care about that.” Hermione began and Marlene felt her back raise and her eyes narrow. “I mean last time you purposefully cut your hair and told them to go fuck themselves.” She did, and it had had a lot more backlash than her friends had known about.

“Well excuse me if I’ve had a change of heart and don’t want to be seen as the family disappointment any more.” Marlene mumbled, reaching forward for the letter and throwing it into the fire.

“You’re not a disappointment.” She wants so much to believe it, to pretend she hasn’t seen the rolling eyes and pursed lips, that she didn’t screw things up with James. That she didn’t screw things up in her life when she realised she was – no she wasn’t going down that road.

“Not to my friends – how can Marlene be anything but the funny little whore who spends her life joking around.”

“Don’t talk about yourself like that, you are so much more.”

“Not to them – do you know how much my parents would kill for the perfect little pureblood daughter like you.” Hermione frowns and her mouth opens but Marlene can feel her anger spreading through every inch of her life. “You don’t even realise how lucky you are to have parents who would rather be outcasts than force you into ma – into trying to be something else.” She nearly ruined it.

Sometimes, late at night, she wished her parents were the Potter’s. That she could run away and they would wrap her in one of their tight hugs, send her to the room that had become her own and that everything would ok.

“My parents – Marlene, are your parents trying to force you into something?” Hermione’s eyes flashed and she stood up, looking towards the slowly burning letter like she wanted nothing more than to stick her hand in and see what she could find.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it does – just tell me what’’s going on and I can try -”

“Stop trying to fix things!” The last cord of sanity snaps in her head, every resentment and piece of anger flooding through the gates and leaving in a hiss. For a second she watches as Hermione’s face turns even more pale and she flinches away.

Good. It’s not the first time she’s heard this then.

“I’m not-”

“You’ve been doing it since we were kids and not everything can be solved – not everything can be fixed and not everyone can have your perfect little life.” Too many words are leaving her mouth right now, unable to be held back and she’s looking at Hermione like she’s some kind of cruel enemy in need of taking down.

“My life is not perfect.” Marlene knows that, or a part of her does, but it’s clouded and tainted and she wants nothing more than to ignore it.

“Are you fucking joking?” She asks instead, a scoff leaving her mouth as Hermione blinks and looks around. “You live in a manor with parents who would bend over backwards to do anything for you – you have the privilege of being a Pureblood without having the consequences.” Neither of them have no idea how they got here, why a simple conversation turned into a fight but Marlene doesn’t care to try and find out.

“Circumstances that came after my own fucking family fell apart – brutally might I add.”

“And you’ve been fully repaid with your fancy life.”

“That’s incredibly rude.” Hermione whispers and Marlene wants to agree. But she needs this, pushing out the burning anger is making her brain feel a little lighter and her gut unclench.

“Is it?” It is. “You have no idea what it means to be a Pureblood other than your name and your money, your parents won’t force you to meet potential husbands, won’t insist that you spend the better part of your years baring children for a man who doesn’t love you – you won’t have to be sold like some prize fucking donkey at your own brothers wedding.” Shit. She hadn’t meant to say that part and now Hermione is staring at her with wide eyes.

“Then tell them no-”

“You don’t get it, and you never have – I don’t just get to say no and that’s it, my parents won’t accept it like yours – I’ll either be kicked out or forced to sign some contract that puts me with someone for the rest of my life.” The anger dies a bit as Hermione tenses her jaw, her own anger gone and instead filled with answers.

“Then let me help you – my parents will take you in and -”

“I don’t want your help!” Marlene shouts, and for once it’s the truth. “You can fool everyone else into thinking that you can keep them safe, and pretend like the moment they step into your house their future isn’t ruined and their family’s name hasn’t just been dragged into the mud – but you can’t fool me.” You can’t help me.

That’s what she really wants to say. There is no way around this and she knew in the end this would be what would happen one way or another, she was just stupid to think her parents would forget and let her live her life.

A single tear drops from her eye and Hermione is reaching forward, the kids she hadn’t realised were still in the Common Room are staring between the two, whispering and no doubt looking forward to telling their friends about what they witnessed.

She doesn’t wait to see what Hermione has to say, doesn’t even bother to pick up her mess as she storms out of the Common Room and through the portrait hole.

...

Marlene wasn’t the perfect friend, in fact sometimes she could be downright shitty, especially when it came to advice, but she had crossed a line today. A line that was no doubt going to end up with everyone wanting to strangle her for daring to hurt their precious little Hermione.

Who had done nothing but try and be a friend, even if it wasn’t what Marlene had needed.

Not that she was sure what she needed.

Which is why she was here. Risking yet another letter sent home to her parents as she stood in the middle of the Quidditch pitch, broom clasped in her hand and the damp grass below her feet, the night sky above her head and the chill slapping her across the face in the best possible way.

A calmness that only came as she climbed onto her broom and took off. Her hand reached up as though she could graze the sky, a small laugh leaving her mouth as the broom began to jitter below her – it was something she had done as a child with Matthew, sat on the back of his broom as he told her to touch the sky while pulling up and down on the broom.

Her stomach swooped and her heart clenched as she dipped again before levelling, the smile dropping from her face.

Matthew had been the one brother who she had thought understood her, who had wanted to travel and not bow down to their parents rules. He wanted to go to America, fall in love and marry for choice – he had told Marlene to do the same too. Had rubbed her head when she gave him a big grin, and told her to live her life how she wanted.

But that was hard to do when you were a child, let alone a sixteen year old girl who was about to watch her brother bend to those rules.

No she didn’t want to think about that.

The wind whipped around her face leaving it's cold behind to sting at her cheeks and nose. She gripped the broom tightly, letting herself drop before pulling herself back up. She continued to do this for a while before stopping high up in the air with a grin on her face.

The sky looked so beautiful, the fading moon hung in the sky and reminding her of Remus, who lay in the hospital room still recovering after two days. The first full moon that Sirius had been banned from in fear that perhaps there was still some tension between the boys. Mainly James and Sirius.

The school stood in the background, tall and imposing, a few lights on in what she assumed where teachers walking around or students in their dorms.

Swooping down she hovered, a few feet above the stands as she watched a hooded figure, tall and slender move away from the pitch, a flash of dark hair and something familiar. She wanted to shout out, see if they would turn but something stopped her, her breath catching in her throat as a slender hand waved over their shoulder.

...

Sunday the 18^th of April 1976

The problem with being in a limited group of friends was that when things got awkwardly, they got awkwardly quickly.

And while she was sure she could go join some other people she knew, it felt strange to not sit with the five other people she had been sitting with since she started school. Even if half of them were currently on the outs with each other, Lily with Sirius and James, James and Sirius, Hermione with Sirius and...herself. Yet none of them seemed to choose to move away or even eat at different times.

Like trying to force something that everyone knew was gone...a strange facade of a marriage. They would eat and pretend and then head their separate ways without a second glance.

It fucking sucked and now she was wishing she had found some more friends instead of sticking to the ones who had more problems than the whole fucking world combined.

“Have you come to apologise?” James asked the moment she sat herself between Remus and some soft looking first year that was staring at the group with scared eyes.

“James.”

“No, no one speaks to my sister like that – I don’t care what’s going on in your life – that wasn’t right.” James hissed turning to Hermione who had pursed her lips and was shaking her head, a whole plate of food before her that she wasn’t even touching.

Marlene couldn’t help but wonder if it was because of her or if something else was going on.

“I agree, but maybe now is not the time.” Hermione whispered back, nodding her head to where Emmeline and Jenny were leaning as close as they could without giving themselves away, a talent they didn’t seem to possess.

“You agree?” Marlene asked dryly, raising her eyebrow and cursing herself for not letting things go.

“You said some pretty hurtful things, Marlene.” Hermione answered back, as though talking to a child who didn’t understand what they had done.

“I was in a bit of an emotional place and you were sticking your nose where it didn’t belong.”

“I’m sorry I was concerned about you.” Hermione snapped back, looking more and more pissed off by the second. Bright eyes almost black, and hands clenched around the edge of the table as she glared at Marlene.

“Well I didn’t ask for your concern, not everything is about you.” Marlene snapped back, wincing herself as Hermione let out a scoff and shook her head. She could feel students staring, could feel the sharp glare of James.

“No, this is about you being fucking rude when I was trying to help you and be there for you.” Hermione hissed, and Marlene wanted to agree but she couldn’t quite find the words to say. “I didn’t deserve half of the shit you said to me.” But she deserved the other half, a voice, one full of pettiness and jealousy whispered in her ear.

“And I didn’t deserve to have you try and work your work into every problem I have.” Marlene snapped. “You can’t just let anything go – always having to intrude yourself in problems that have nothing to do with it, and I’m stick and tired, so just let me figure this out by myself.” Hermione’s eyes flashed with hurt and suddenly Marlene wanted to hug her, offer comfort.

But she wasn’t wrong. This much she knew. And while she knew Hermione meant it from a good place – there was a time and place for her help and her opinion. Now wasn’t the time.

“You can because I am done with trying to help someone who clearly doesn’t want my help.” Hermione stood up, pushing away her uneaten food and letting out a scoff. “Come and find me when you can be a better friend.” Marlene’s eyes rolled to the back of her head, turning her head away so she didn’t have to watch Hermione storm out with Lily behind her.

Instead she ended up meeting Sirius cold eyes, a single raised eyebrow and a knowing smirk on his face. “You don’t have to do what they want you to do.”

She knew then that he understood, probably better than anybody. The Potters, while lovely, would never force their darling children to do anything they didn’t want to do, Lily’s parents were far too Muggle and modern to want to arrange her some marriage and Remus – well she doubted whether he would ever be comfortable putting someone in that position.

But Sirius...Sirius had grown up in the ultimate Pureblood house, one that he did his best not to go back to unless it was necessary or for a week at a time. His family littered Slytherin and the Death Eaters, and their connections were well known.

“Be grateful your parents aren’t trying to set you up with a Carrow.” He added as he spooned some cereal into his mouth and gave her a pointed look as Remus and James looked at one another.

Guilt flooded her system, her eyes feeling strangely watery as she stumbled away from the table and out of the Great Hall.

It was quiet out here, but it did nothing to stop the rushing of emotions that hit her like a wave, even as she felt someone wrap tense arms around her and let her lay their head on her shoulder.

She knew who it was without even opening her eyes, not that they had ever hugged that much before, but they spent enough time around each other that she could recall the smell of parchment, ink and something slightly canine.

“You alright?”

“No – no I’m fucking not – “ Marlene snapped, wiping her tears from her face and pulling herself out of Remus’ arms as he stared down at her with pity. All any of them seemed to do was look at her with pity. “I just -”

“Freaking out again, Marlene?” Anger boiled under her skin and her hand twitched to her wand as she turned to look at Emmeline and Jenny, the pair stood there in their matching outfits, looking like absolute tits. Blue eyes flashed to Remus and a nasty grin took over Vance’s face. “Did Hermione’s rejection sting so bad you had to move on to him?”

Remus didn’t even duck, he once would have, instead he sent a concerned look to Marlene. Her jaw ticked and her wand no longer felt like it could do enough, she wanted to punch them. To knock them down a few pegs; literally.

She took a menacing step forward, threats on the tip of her tongue when an arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her back – not an unfamiliar action from this certain boy but still annoying nonetheless.

“Aw look, Potter and Black have come to the rescue.” Jenny cackled, eyeing each boy with what she must have assumed were flirty eyes but came out more deranged.

“Fuck off, both of you, before I let her go.” James muttered, tilting his head, longer messy hairs ticking the side of Marlene’s head as he moved around her, hand sliding away from her and feet stepping before her, a clear sign that he wasn’t going to let her move.

The two girls stared for a second, seeming to think better of it as the waddled off, leaving Marlene alone with the group of boys.

“What are you doing here?”

“Stopping you from annihilating Vance – and also getting away from the awkwardness at the table.” Sirius explained as James rolled his eyes, grey eyes turning to look at Remus as he mumbled the next part. “You shouldn’t have left, Moony.” Remus raised his eyebrows and looked between the boys.

“Well James hadn’t tried to hit you for a good seven hours so excuse me if I thought it was improving.”

James glared darkly at the both of them before he turned back to Marlene, still narrowed eyes but not as angry. “Anyway, I don’t agree with what happened with my sister and you will need to apologise, but you’re my friend and you’re going through some shit so I’m going to help you.”

“I don’t need your help.”

“Sure, sure – then do you fancy coming to the Quidditch pitch with me and hitting Bludgers at Sirius?”

…

She wouldn’t say she felt better, less angry, and swinging the bat as hard as she could, feeling the push back of the equally angry ball, definitely eased some of the stress from her body so that a small smile could make it’s way to her face as Sirius shrieked and dived out of the way of the oncoming threat, and James and Remus laughed beside her.

“Why am – no, come on, Mar, that was way too hard!” Sirius shouted as he dodged a particularly angry hit, swinging upside down on his broom as he turned to look at James. “Why don’t you get up here and take my place? Or better you, how about I hit at the pair of you and you fucking dodge them like chasers are supposed to?”

“It’s important for people to be well rounded...and your a dick.” James hissed out, glaring at his best friend or former best friend that he was still forced to spend time with – Marlene hadn’t actually figured out what was happening there.

Guilt swirled in her stomach as she looked between them. She was supposed to be a friend, to both these boys and yet she had no clue what was happening or why James was so adamant on keeping the boy at a distance or why Sirius wasn’t doing more to try and maintain his friendship other than a few comments.

“Erm…”

“Mate, come on.” Her hand swung out as the bludger soared for her, bat hitting with a crack and sending it straight towards Sirius. “For fucks sake, Marlene!” He snapped, lowering his broom and glaring at her as she winced.

“Sorry – I wasn’t -” She stuttered over her words as he looked away, clicking his tongue and shaking his head.

“I get that I’ve made a huge fucking mistake but this a bit far.”

“I didn’t mean to – that time.”

“I wasn’t talking to you.” Sirius snapped, sending her a quick glare as he turned to look at James. “Prongs, you know I’m sorry, how many times do I have to say it?” His bottom lip came out in a pout. “Remus has forgiven me and -”

“I’m not Remus.” James spoke coldly as Remus rolled his eyes. Marlene shut her mouth, looking between the boys worried and wondering if this is how everyone felt when her and Hermione began arguing.

“I know that -”

“You didn’t just hurt him that night, you hurt me too and you hurt my sister – it’s going to take a lot more than some half-hearted apology and longing looks for me to forgive what a dick you’ve been these past few months.” It always came down to Hermione, for everyone it seemed, but mainly for James.

The pair of them far too loyal to each other to even consider that the other might be in the wrong. Hermione and James against the fucking world – how siblings should be, while her own were too busy getting married and licking their parents arses to even make sure the other was fine.

Five strangers with the title of sibling to bring them together and no knowledge of how to actually do the job.

“I’m trying to make up for everything!” Sirius snapped, gripping his broom tighter as he glared at James, who seemed unfazed – clearly a discussion they had had before.

“I’ll tell you what, when Hermione forgives you then I will too, but until then you can consider us mutual friends of Remus.” James spoke back, shrugging his shoulders and turning his head, like he somehow knew his sister would come down here with Lily and prove his point.

Sirius sent the boy a look, squaring his shoulders and riding towards the girls, almost falling off of his broom in an attempt to land casually before them. His whole body was tense as he looked between them and Marlene almost wanted to go over to hear what was being said.

Lily looked annoyed, there was no chance that she was going to forgive and forget and Hermione – while Hermione looked like she was unsure of what to make of what was happening, her deep eyes drifting over the boys shoulder to look quickly at Marlene, defences up in a second.

“You know she isn’t holding it against him, right?” Marlene asked James suddenly as the boy turned to look at her with a frown. “She’s just done being friends with someone who hurt her but that doesn’t mean she expects you to do the same – and I don’t think you should either.” His hazel eyes drifted and something shifted as he raised an eyebrow at her.

“No offence, Mar, but I think out of everyone here, you advice on this whole situation is the last I want to hear.” It hurt more than it should, to come from him after everything they had been through, but the truth stung like a slap to the face.

“Fair enough.” Marlene mumbled as James looked back to where Sirius was pacing away from the girls, moving to sit on the bench, back hunched and pale hands reaching out to brush his hair away from his face – the gesture slightly familiar in a different way. “Does Sirius come out here alone sometimes?”

Icy eyes turned to Remus as James pursed his lips – though Remus shrugged his shoulders and looked back to James. “Erm...not that I’m aware of, though I suppose – what’s happening?”

His voice carried through the air, drawing attention from their little group as Marlene skidded to a stop before Sirius, Hermione and Lily making their way slowly over.

“Have you been spying on me?”

“Er...no?”

“Reassuring.” Marlene quipped, letting out a scoff and rolling her eyes while a part of her brain wondered why it was so important that she do this now in front of everyone, instead of asking him in private – or why it was so important to catch the person who had been watching her when they had done nothing wrong in the first place.

“No I haven’t, care to explain why you think that.” Sirius shifted in his seat, leaning forward to rest his hand on his knees and oozing the confidence she wished she had.

“I’ve come down here for the past two nights and someone has been here and now that I’m thinking about it, I’m pretty sure it was you.” Marlene pointed out, but something was off. Sirius didn’t need to ask permission nor hide himself from her – but there was something so similar.

“Down here and watching you fly?”

“Yes!”

“No.” Sirius laughed out, raising his eyebrows and shaking his head. “No offence, Marlene, you’re a fair flyer but I have better things to do at night than watching you fly around a pitch.” He added with another scoff.

“Then how do you explain the person wandering around here with a cloak on?” Marlene asked, slightly desperate as she turned to face the other boys who shrugged their shoulders, seeming unconcerned with the whole thing.

“As an idiot wandering around with a cloak on.” Sirius remarked dryly. “Why did you think it was me?”

“Just something in the way – I don’t know.” Her breath came out in a pant as Sirius watched her concerned, his hand reaching out as she swayed slightly, hit by a sudden wave of tiredness and tightness in her chest.

“Are you ok?” Emerald eyes blinked before her, hands on her shoulders and a soft voice that could only be Lily as Sirius moved away from the bench and Marlene was suddenly sat down. “Marlene…”

“I think I’m just tired...I haven’t slept for a while.”

“Nor have you been dealing with your problems.” Hermione muttered under her breath, Marlene wanted to scoff – if anyone here wasn’t dealing with their mountains of issues then it was certainly the black haired beauty before her that seemed to think she didn’t need to.

“Maybe now isn’t the best time for this.” Lily whispered to Hermione who pursed her lips. “Do you want us to take you to the Hospital Wing – maybe Madam Pomfrey can give you a calming drought and -”

“No – no, I’ll be fine – just got a lot on my mind.” Marlene whispered back with a grateful smile for the girl before her – still kind despite everything that had happened or what she might have heard from Hermione, who looked like she was ready to speak. “Which I will deal with, since it’s my family and my life, thanks.” Brown eyes met hers, full of anger.

“I wasn’t going to say anything.”

“Because you are suddenly capable of holding your tongue and not involving yourself in the lives of your friends?” Marlene asked sarcastically, a fake grin on her face as she looked away. “I can’t wait to see whether Lily and Remus get a letter next, and you try and convince them to run away from their families.” Both teens wincing at being pulled into the argument.

“What are you talking about?” Hermione asked with a sigh, arms crossed on her chest and eyes staring at Marlene like she was a child who didn’t understand the world.

“That’s what you did with me – what you’ve done with Sirius.”

“Bit different – I’m pretty sure I was being summoned to join a murderous cult.” Marlene could understand that, personally she would hope her friend intervened if that’s what her own parents wanted, but no they just wanted her to be the perfect daughter.

“You know what Marlene, if you want to go back to your parents this summer and get some marriage arranged for you, pop out a couple of kids after school and spend the rest of your days regretting that your friends tried to help you and you pushed them away – then who am I to stop you.” Hermione bit out with a small laugh, throwing her hands into the air and turning on one foot.

She didn’t look back, Hermione had never been way inclined, but James did with a glare as he and Remus followed behind, Sirius staring at them longingly before he too got up and headed back to the castle, leaving Marlene and Lily alone to stare at the empty field.

“If you’re going to say something then say it.”

“I don’t understand what it must be like to have this pressure put on you – to have your parents decide your life, I imagine it’s shitty and scary.” Lily whispered as she shifted beside Marlene, her eyes turning to watch their friends move further and further away.

“Fucking sucks.” Marlene whispered back, eyes feeling strangely wet, and her whole mind feeling rather alone.

“But I understand what it’s like to feel like people don’t understand you – to feel like they can fix your problems while you feel like you have to do it alone.” There was something in Lily’s voice that made Marlene stare. “Sometimes we have to realise that while they might not fully get it, their hearts are in the right place and they mean well, and that if we let them in a little, that feeling of being scared lessens just a bit and you realise you aren’t as alone as you think you are.”

It’s strange, to consider someone such a good friend and wonder what they are talking about. She’s known Lily since she was nearly twelve, spent many nights sharing the same room, many days being in the same class and sitting together – and yet she would have never guessed that Lily even understood in the slightest of how it felt.

Briefly she wonders if this is about being a Muggleborn, how Lily spent her time around friends who lived their lives mainly in the magical world with little knowledge about the Muggle one. If there was conflict between the two lives that often put her redhaired friend on the edge.

Now didn’t seem like the right time to ask, but maybe one day she will pull up the courage to make sure her friend is alright. Instead she settles on excuses, letting them slip through her mouth before she can stop them.

“This is different...this is something I ignored for a long time and now it’s hear and...and -”

“You don’t know what to do, but fighting with your friends isn’t the right thing to do.” Lily clarifies for her, giving her a small smile as she swings her legs and lets out a soft sigh. “I made that mistake once and you told me not to – I wish I would have listened to you then.” With Snape when they were thirteen year olds and didn’t fully understand.

It had been a long time ago and things were different, she wants to tell her that but the words seem to escape her. Leaving them both sat in the cold and thinking about things silently.

...

Avoiding things seemed to come naturally to Marlene, as did pissing off the majority of people in her life.

It was a skill she wasn’t proud of, not like she had many to be proud of… unless you counted that thing she did with her tongue that had gotten around the school and had gotten her far more interested than she cared to admit she didn’t actually want.

Reality was, she should have gone to the Common Room or her dormitory, spoken to Hermione and the boys and hashed this out. Instead she had ignored dinner and gone to the Astronomy Tower, sitting on the edge and staring down at the ground with worried eyes.

The past three days had been horrible since that letter arrived, making her into some weird twisted version of herself that she wasn’t even sure how to handle any more, let alone her friends. Her family did that to her, made her scared and backed into a corner until she lashed out at everyone, pushed them away in her fear.

Her legs hit the side of the stone the same time the door opened, causing her to grip the bar tighter as she wobbled in her attempt to look at who it was.

“Ah shit...you’re not going to jump are you?” Snotty and arrogant, that’s how his voice sounded – and yet the way he drawled through words was similar to someone else she knew.

“What! No – Merlin – why would you -” Marlene cut herself off as she stood up, pushing away from the railing to stare at the person, hood covering their pale face but she knew anyway. “It’s you – you’re the one I saw at the pitch!” Elation flooded her voice as the person winced away.

He stumbled backwards slightly, bringing a hand up to cover his ear at her high pitched cry, raven waves falling forward to cover part of his face, sharp features jutting out regardless, and startling blue eyes that resembled sparkling sapphires even in the dimly lit tower.

“Merlin, how high can you -”

“Regulus?” It made sense now why she thought it might have been Sirius, it didn’t make sense why his little brother was acting like some sort of creep.

“I’m not following you.” Regulus spoke softly, pulling his hood down fully and smoothing down the hair his brother would have messed up further. Her frown deepened as he sent her a soft grin. “I know what it looks like but would you believe me if I said this was all just a coincidence?"

“I’d have believed you more if you weren’t walking around like Grim Reaper at three in the morning.” Marlene commented dryly as his floor length cloak swept on the floor while he moved slightly closer and the night’s light shone on his face. “I guess dramatics just run in the family.”

Regulus let out a small scoff, as Marlene let her eyes drift over his face. So much like his brother and yet so different, there was something innocent and yet hardened about him, a baby face with eyes that saw through everything. And he was tall, nowhere near as tall as Sirius, but still tall. With hair that seemed soft, and shorter than she was used to on boys now.

Her back straightened as his eyes flickered over her face, defensive and yet curious – for some reason her cheeks flushed as he gave her a quick once over and the corner of his mouth ticked up.

“I was impressed by your flying.” He said suddenly, brushing over her comment, and Marlene couldn’t help but frown before remembering that he was a seeker for Slytherin – and that he was talking to her like he hadn’t expected that.

“Wish I could say the same.”

“Ouch.” Regulus chuckled and for a moment Marlene forgot that this was probably the first time they had actually spoke – even though she had known who he was the moment Sirius pointed him out with a sneer back in second year. “And here I was thinking I could just come up here to think.” He sighed and smiled, like they hadn’t been somewhat enemies for four years.

Only because of Sirius...and maybe the prejudice between Slytherin and Gryffindor.

“What would someone like you need to think about?”

“I don’t think that’s any of your business, McKinnon.” The small lightness of their conversation came to a halt as he narrowed his eyes at her in a way that Hermione would probably be proud.

“If you’re not up for sharing why you’ve been stalking me then you can leave.” He shuffled around a bit and shrugged his shoulders, placing them in his pockets.

“What if I feel like staying?” His small smile was back, and there was a slight teasing to his words that made Marlene want to blush, that did actually make her blush and then curse herself for it. She wasn’t about to succumb to some pretty boy.

“Why would you want to do that?”

He stared at her for a second, letting out a small chuckle and running a hand through his hair in a way that Sirius and James did. Must be a boy thing, but even so Marlene couldn’t stop herself from tucking her own hair behind her ear. “Thought you were smarter than that, McKinnon.” What the fuck did he mean?

Sure she wasn’t on the level of Hermione, Remus and Lily where she seemed to know everything and anything, down to pointless nonsense; nor was she like James and Sirius who seemed to possess natural talents to combat their stupidity.

She was just Marlene, average and doing well enough in her studies that teachers remained off her back and her life was free enough to make mistakes and not be questioned about it. Yet, like her parents, this little shit seemed to want more from here.

“Smart enough to figure out why you have been following me around for the past few days despite the fact that we had never spoken before tonight?” She questioned, raising a singular eyebrow as Regulus let out a hum.

“And here I thought we had a moment during Halloween.” Regulus spoke, voice full of humour as Marlene frowned, trying to remember the whole night between breaking off with James and wanting to punch Sirius in the face – but there had been a moment, bright blue eyes and steady hands, a quick conversation and a moment forgotten.

“That was you?”

“Glad to know my face is easily forgotten.”

“But that party was for forth years and up.” Marlene muttered as he raised an eyebrow and she crossed her arms over her chest with an easy grin. "Aren't you like twelve?" Her voice taunted as he let out a very unBlack like snort.

“Fifteen actually.” He turned up his nose and have her a quick grin. “So only one year younger than you.” He spoke as if she should know what he meant, but she didn’t have a clue.

“Is that supposed to mean something?”

“What do you want it to mean?”

Timid eyes stared at Marlene, unsure of themselves and so innocent that it felt like she was corrupting them just by looking. He was a child really, a child with the weight of the world that seemed to be resting on his shoulders from the brief things she had heard from Hermione – and a boy without any real friends.

It didn’t seem fair that he had faced the brunt of his brothers anger, that he had to deal with whatever was going on at home, and that he could still throw a smile on his face in front of a person he knew was friends with said brother.

“This is not the conversation I expected to have tonight.” Marlene whispered to herself, running a hand through her short hair and wincing when her fingers caught between the strands. When was the last time she had even brushed her hair?

“No, I imagine you probably were going to talk to Hermione.”

“How do you know that?” Marlene turned, snapping at him before she rolled her eyes. “Please don’t tell me you’ve actually been stalking me.” A golden hand came up as she shook her head and Regulus smirked slightly.

“No.” Regulus chuckled. “Like most of the school, I was in the Great Hall when everything kicked off.” Bright eyes looked at her, full of amusement.

Marlene felt that guilt pull at her again, two fights with Hermione and both of them had been in public, or public enough for it to get around. They both knew how this school could be and the whispers would be following them around for the next few months, possibly until summer.

“I was surprised my cousin didn’t curse you right there.” In all honesty, so was she. Hermione wasn’t one to keep her temper under wraps when she was pissed off and Marlene had pissed her off enough that pulling wand out wouldn’t have been a surprise.

“You know it’s weird when you call her that.” Marlene commented instead as Regulus frowned and nodded his head.

“Because her and Sirius are dancing around each other?”

“No...well yes...but also because I just kind of forget.” She muttered lamely. Hermione had always been James’ sister in her eyes, even as she knew the truth, but it wasn’t something she focused on everyday – nor wanted to bring up in fear of getting that Potter glare they had both mastered.

“You and a lot of other people…but then again most people try and forget they are related to the Blacks.” Regulus joked dryly, but it was the truth if she ever heard it. How many people in this school had a connection to the Blacks? “And if we are being honest, I wouldn’t really call Hermione family.”

“Then why do you call her that?” Why was she trying to keep this conversation going? They weren’t even friends, yet she had never felt so nervous and at ease in her life.

“Politeness, though I suppose it’s more of a way to feel close to someone who I once thought would be in my life.” Regulus uttered, head dropping before a mask took over his face and he looked so much colder and older that Marlene couldn’t help but hiss out a breath.

Five, nearly sex years, of being friends with the same people and she had never given much thought to the relations between people in school. Regulus and Sirius had butted head since the moment they became Gryffindor and Slytherin – but Hermione had been someone Regulus once knew too, maybe not well enough to actually remember but he had no doubt heard about her.

“I’m pretty sure she still wants to be in your life.” It wasn’t a lie. While Hermione barely spoke about the distant cousin, there had been times she had done what she could to look out for him, offer a hand, be disappointed in his plans.

“Maybe, doesn’t matter either way – it’s not like we can go skipping down the road declaring to be best friends.” Now that was an image that made Marlene chuckle, she could only imagine the faces of the school if that happened.

“No, she doesn’t even do that with me.”

“She might, if you talk to her instead of chatting up here with me.”

“Maybe I am enjoying our conversation.” She teased lightly, but it was the truth. It was nice to talk to someone who understood but wasn’t so wrapped up in her groups drama, that he couldn’t offer any insight.

Regulus huffed out a laugh, eyes strangely bright again. “Calm down Gryffindor, just think about how your friends would react if they walked in on this.” He pointed between them with an amused smile as Marlene felt her cheeks blush slightly.

“I doubt they will be looking for me, so I think we’re safe.” She whispered with a cheeky grin as he fought to fight down a smile.

“Good to know.”

Neither spoke, leaning on the railing and looking up at the sky, the stars twinkling above them, and the silence offering a slight calm that she hadn’t had in a while.

She had expected him to leave, hadn’t expected to have a conversation with someone so different than herself, but it had been nice, and perhaps he had needed it too.

Regulus Black had never been someone she thought she would stare at but here she couldn’t help herself, he was pretty to watch, like his brother, but that wasn’t what caught her eye. His pale face relaxed in the dim light, eyes closed against the wind that ruffled his hair, a slight smile on his face that scrunched up his cheeks and nose.

Yet despite the calm atmosphere, he looked tired, like he could sleep for days. Her mouth opened to ask him, snapping shut before she could ruin the mood between them.

“Do I have something on my face?” Marlene blinked, focusing back on his as he raised his eyebrows at her, a small smile there.

“No?” Her voice squeaked slightly, blush rising to her cheeks in a very unMarlene way. Why was she bothered? There had been plenty of men...nay, boys...that she had looked over a time or two, given them a smile and that was that.

But here she was, blushing like a little girl over a pretty boy, who was younger than her, just because she had been caught zoning out over his face...even if it was in concern. And now he was watching her amused and knowing, and honestly it was pissing her off.

“I better go.” She mumbled, turning around and picking up her jacket that she had left on the floor as Regulus chuckled some more. She stopped before the door, turning around to face him stiffly. “Thank you for tonight but erm...don’t follow me again and maybe we should just keep this whole thing to ourselves, yeah? Good.” She rushed out as he watched her.

“Believe me, I have no interest in anyone finding out I spent the night talking to a Gryffindor, let alone Marlene McKinnon.” A knot formed in her stomach and she frowned, even as he teased.

“Good to know.”

“Though if I may over a piece of advice.” He wasn’t asking but Marlene waited anyway, ready to here whatever he had to say. “Sometimes saying sorry, or offering some kind of apology, can go a long way.” A sad smile swept across his face as she nodded her head and moved for the door again, stopping once more.

“You know, I wouldn’t be upset if...erm...well...you know if you need to talk, I’m all ears.” His eyebrows raised and Marlene felt herself frown at her stumbling words. She hadn’t planned to say that, she was urging for a goodbye and leaving.

Regulus’ eyebrows dropped and his lips turned into an amused smile as he nodded his head. “Good to know – same to you.”

What the fuck was happening?

First she’d managed to piss off all her friends, and now she was up here flir- no talking, with some fifteen year old boy that was in the house she hated and was also the hated brother of one of her friends.

Her head felt clouded and yet somehow clear as she made her way back to the Gryffindor tower, hoping not to run into her friends because she wasn’t quite sure if she would be able to explain why she was acting like a flustered loon – or that she wouldn’t blurt something out that made them all get even more pissed off than they already were.

Another part of her, one she was trying to battle, wondered when she would be able to talk to Regulus again.

Chapter Text

Monday the 26^rd of April 1976

Things were still tense and Hermione was tenser than normal. In just a few weeks they would all be doing their O.W.Ls, and already she felt like ripping her hair out – which had been put in an almost permanent plait in order to avoid doing so.

Even still, she wasn’t as bad as Lily who spent every free moment with a book in front of her or Remus who claimed he had far too much to catch up on instead of pranks. Even James – without Remus – had gone from laughing at the idea of studying to jumping at the chance, though that could have been to avoid too much alone time with Sirius, but she was counting it as a win.

Sirius and Marlene were the only ones she didn’t really have tabs on, though she heard from Lily that Marlene was studying with some friend she had made, and from Remus that Sirius pretended he wasn’t but he stayed up late at night going over his text books.

Not that she cared.

Her and Sirius were at some weird civil level where they offered small smiles and nodding heads, and Marlene...well there had been a few instances where Hermione swore the girl was going to apologise and then she was off with her shitty pride and excuses.

Didn’t matter, she had more important things to focus on. Like the fact that her and Zach’s time was seriously limited, and she wasn’t going to demand his time when he was focused on his N.E.W.Ts.

Not that she had said no when he asked if she wanted to spend time in his room with him for a bit, but that was beside the point. She needed to calm down, and her boyfriend had the perfect way of making sure some of that tension eased from the both of them.

Something which she had agreed with since the moment he opened his mouth.

And it hadn’t been like the other first time, which if she remembered rightly, was awkward and slightly uncomfortable – no this had been… like being burned in the best possible way.

Every touch, every kiss and every sound had aided her in a way that she wasn’t 100% sure was healthy, but it wasn’t something she was interested in thinking about, not when Zach was doing things that made the thoughts leave her head in a serious of stuttered words.

For once she got why people were so invested in sex, sure the first time was nothing if not a little awkward, to share something so intimate with someone, but after that it was like getting an itch you hadn’t been able to scratch, or finally sneezing after not being able to all day.

And Zach...Zach was great. Like kindness wrapped in a handsome package, someone she would admire and care for, for a long time – even if it wasn’t going to last as long as she wished it could.

For now she didn’t care about that, or she wanted to pretend she didn’t, as she rolled to the side and into Zach’s arms, a small kiss pressed to her forehead that made tears spring to her eyes and her arms clutch him tighter.

...

The Common Room was empty as she tiptoed down the boys stairs, a large shirt covering her attire – she would have to ask Zach to search for her skirt later.

She was just grateful her underwear had been easily found because she wasn’t looking at running into someone on her journey back to her dorm or waking up to a bunch of seventh year boys who would probably be more than happy to comment on her and Zach.

It was easier to go back, something that Zach had never commented on when he saw her in the morning. Instead he settled for a quick kiss and a knowing smile that made her want to giggle like a ten year old.

“Hermione?” Fuck. Her shoes clattered to the floor as she spun around, holding the shirt firmly in place in case it was James or someone – despite the feminine voice and golden hair. That didn’t make it any better.

She wasn’t looking to talk to Marlene after spending the past couple of hours in Zach’s bed looking...well looking like she had just done some rolling around in the least innocent way.

If this had been a couple of weeks ago then Marlene would have smirked, raised her eyebrows and demanded to hear all about it. They would have been sat before the fire as her best friend tried to guess everything, to pull as much detail from a silent Hermione as she could, before she gave up with a groan and left it alone for the evening.

It wasn’t the same now, instead they stared, unsure of what to say after their fights, after not speaking. Lily had told Hermione what Marlene had said to her, but she wasn’t going to bring that up after what had been said.

“Erm...good night?” Marlene tried as she came around the sofa, eyes slightly swollen and hair unbrushed. It made Hermione’s stomach turn.

“Are you asking if I had a good night or sending me to bed?”

“The first? Both?” Marlene winced out, running a hand through her hair and wincing for a different reason as her fingers caught in the tangled mess. “Sorry...I just didn’t think anyone would be down here...or that you would even be awake at this time.” Golden cheeks turned pink and icy eyes seemed to melt as Hermione raised an eyebrow.

“Why are you?” Hermione didn’t move from her spot between the two sets of stairs, but she did move to pick up her shoes from the floor.

“I was studying...I figured if I could do well on my O.W.Ls then maybe I could get my parents off my back for a while with the whole...erm...marriage thing.” Marlene mumbled, gesturing to the books covering the coffee table and the spread out parchments like she had been trying to do all her homework at one time.

Hermione nodded her head, she couldn’t say if it would work, but she understood. “Do you want some help?” Marlene stared at her with wide eyes.

“Now?”

“Sure...or tomorrow, I mean if you’re trying to do the best you can then perhaps staying up until two and being tired during classes isn’t going to help.” Hermione shrugged her shoulders, a small smile on her face as Marlene gulped.

“I get that, I just haven’t really had time – what between classes, Quidditch practice and...drama.” She whispered the last word and Hermione’s smile fell.

“And sneaking out during the night.”

“That too.”

“If you want Lily, Remus and I will be studying in the library tomorrow, you can join us.” Hermione bit out, though now she wasn’t so sure it would such a good idea with everything that had gone on between them, not that she was going to voice that opinion.

“Wouldn’t that be awkward?” It seemed Marlene had no such problem asking the question they were both thinking, except she asked it with a slightly hopeful smile.

“Depends on how the next few seconds go – are you going to insult me again?” Hermione asked, amused herself, even if the thought of everything she had been called out on stung and made her chest ache, and her whole body want to turn and cuddle back in bed with Zach where she could hide.

“No.”

“Then we should be fine.” Hermione whispered, turning towards the girls staircase with a sigh.

“But I am sorry about that – you were right, you didn’t deserve that and I should have thought before I spoke.” Marlene called quickly, before Hermione could even take the first step. Her taller friend now stood before her with worried eyes.

“Why did you say it?” Hermione can’t help but ask. Can’t help but wonder if it was how Marlene had felt about her all along, if there was truth to what was being said.

“Honestly?” Hermione nods, because she can’t stop herself. “You were there and I was angry – I just found out that my parents are all but signing my life away and… I was jealous.” Marlene hisses out, eyes flashing once again.

“Jealous?” It seems impossible to have someone like Marlene, golden and beautiful, but jealous of Hermione, who was pale and slightly bland.

“I know you haven’t had the easiest life and you’ve dealt and are still dealing with shit that none of us could understand, but in this regard...it was something you can’t understand.” Marlene answers, and it seems like a fair response. “Your parents...they wouldn’t do anything that you never wanted, even if it damaged their name, even if it meant they were poor – you and James, always come first for them.”

Hermione couldn’t doubt that. Euphemia and Fleamont would do anything for anyone they loved, without question – but they also wouldn’t put their children through pain unless it was some life learning lesson like washing dishes without magic or helping tame the plants in the garden.

“And your parents…”

“Have been trying to climb the top of the social ladder for years, if that means marrying off a few kids to a couple of more notable Purebloods then what does it matter.” Hermione can’t help but stare, in her past life she had heard stories of the McKinnons, slightly involved in the war, on the right side of history and all of them murdered.

Never had she ever heard that they were trying to sell off their kids for less ethical reasons. “It matters because you don’t want that.”

“It’s sweet how you think that what I want has any importance to them at all.” Marlene lets out a bitter laugh as she speaks, moving to sit on the steps as Hermione joins her. “Why do you think they had five kids?”

“Because for a while they couldn’t keep their hands off of each other?” Hermione can’t help but tease but Marlene sees no humour in her answer – only pain and everything else that comes with being a part of the McKinnon family.

“Because they have four boys to marry, which means four dowries, and four hopeful chances at continuing the line.” It’s all so ancient, so cruel and cold. “Marrying off your only girl means sending her to someone who has more power, giving away something but having a connection to some name.” It means sending a girl to probably an unhappy life.

“So pull an Andromeda and marry someone else.” Something flashes behind Marlene’s eyes, her cheeks turning pink. She shakes herself out of it fast and Hermione bits her lip at asking who her friend was thinking about.

“There’s no one I could think of that I would even want to go down that hole with.” Sure there isn’t.

“Then how about we do this...for now we focus on O.W.Ls...and then when your brothers wedding comes we distract your parents and make sure no boy gets to speak to you.” Hermione says with a large grin, slapping her friends knee as she stands up.

“We?” Marlene asks, surprised.

“Of course ‘we’...you may have been a bitch but you are my best friend.” Hermione states, moving up the stairs to stop once again and turn and face her friend. “Also I have to question your intelligence if you think that the high and mighty Potter’s won’t be in attendance.”

“Thank you.”

...

Saturday the 22^nd of May 1976

Studying was far more important than watching the final Quidditch match of the season, or that was what she had tried to tell her friends when they dragged her down to the pitch in support of Gryffindor vs Ravenclaw, but they had all disagreed.

They had one full week left of May, of studying before they were forced into their O.W.Ls, and already five people had cracked under the pressure, sure they all seemed to be Ravenclaws – and yes, she might have done this before, but Hermione was not looking to slack off just because she could.

“Come on Hermione...we’ve spent the better part of a month studying...I literally nearly stole James’ glasses the other day because I thought I was going cross eyed.” Lily complained as she pulled on Hermione’s hand that wasn’t wrapped in Zach’s while Remus strolled before them, looking better than he had a few days ago.

“You can stop the act, Lil’, I’m already coming.” Zach coughed beside her as she elbowed his ribs before he could say anything that would have Remus hinting or whispering to James. “Also I really doubt that, you and James haven’t spoken in weeks – in fact last week you said that the thought of touching him made you want to vomit.” Hermione added as Lily blushed.

“Which I was adamant was just a phase until he apologised.” Hermione tensed her jaw and wished she had never brought this up. The full moon incident was still a bit sore for everyone, and Lily was far too prideful to admit she went too far.

The pitch came into full view, imposing above them all, with screams already heard despite the fact that they still had ten minutes until the match. The four of them climbed the stairs, pushing their was to the edge so they could see everything.

“Important match.” Zach muttered, usually he would have his arm around her but now he was leaning over the edge with Remus beside him.

“I know – I’ve never seen James and Sirius so focused – I will admit, I’m worried.” Remus huffed out and Hermione couldn’t help the disbelief that flew across her face as she looked between them, like a couple of parents worried about their childs first match.

“Because of Edith?” Hermione hadn’t heard that name in a few months, had all but forgotten the girl existed, and she did not like the name falling from her boyfriends lips. “She’s a strong player.” He added, moving to pull Hermione forward so he could wrap an arm around her shoulders.

It didn’t make her feel better, not as the teams flew out and Edith was visible, calm and collected, eyes focused on James with a smirk on her lips.

“I think it will be close.”

“Yeah but as long as we get fifty up then it doesn’t matter.”

The boys carried on speaking, even as the whistle was blown, eyes solely on the pitch as Hermione tried her best to keep her eyes on her brother and not the blonde haired girl that shouted something that made Sirius laugh as she flew past.

“I thought you would have moved on from that by now.” Lily whispered softly in her ear, eyes no longer tracking James but instead flitting to Hermione’s face with an amused smile. It was obvious who she was talking about, more so when she gave a pointed look towards the blond and her grin.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Dorea Black had always insisted that one must feign ignorance when being accused of something unbecoming.

“Sure...though I don’t think you have to worry, Zach’s never even looked her way.” Lily whispered with a teasing grin, even as Hermione sent her a sharp look. “I don’t even think they’ve ever spoke.” They wouldn’t have much reason to, Zach spoke to his year and them – he probably had only heard of her.

“Lily, I appreciate the...whatever you’re trying to do...but I don’t care about Edith, in any regards.” Hermione hissed back as Gryffindor let out a loud cheer, the boys beside her jumping and bashing into each other like a pair of idiots.

“Yet you knew exactly who I was talking about.” Lily drawled out, raising her eyebrows as Hermione flushed. “Come on…”

“How about instead we talk about why you still haven’t spoken to James?” Defence. Much better, bring it right back to someone elses problems instead of your own. Her Grandmother would have been so proud, though probably not – she would have found the whole teenage romance troupe trivial and unnecessary.

Why care about boys when your Grandfather and I will find you the best and most suitable match?

How strange that her internal thoughts understood Marlene more than her actual thoughts. Also how strange that she was thinking of a woman she hadn’t seen since she was seven. She didn’t miss her Grandmother, her judgemental stare and cruel words, but she did miss her Grandfather, a man who looked like he regretted and both loved the last few years of his life.

“That has nothing to do with this.” Lily whispered beside her, snapping Hermione out of her memories to focus on her best friend.

“Come on…”

“I can’t – I mean I’ve tried, but he’s still so hung up on what happened that I think he doesn’t actually want to speak to me.” Lily explained, a bit angrily, flinching slightly as Remus and Zach cast a look over to her.

“Well how would you feel if the guy you liked insulted you and blamed you for something that wasn’t actually your fault?” Hermione asked, raising an eyebrow as Lily frowned at her. Hermione let out a sigh. “Don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll come around soon and everything will go back to the way it was and you’ll be begging him to leave you alone again.” Her hand reached out to rub the girls shoulders with a soft smile.

She would make sure of it – make sure James and Lily were back on the fast track at getting back together, even if it was the last thing she did because there was no way Harry James Potter wasn’t going to be born.

…

“It was a great match.” Hermione tried, placing some food in front of James as he glared at her face. She tried to smile, aware that it was coming out as a wince. “You’ll get them next time.” She offered as he let out a scoff but his body slumped slightly.

The whole of Gryffindor table seemed to be down, though it probably didn’t help that Ravenclaw were basking in their win along with Slytherin and most of the Hufflepuffs. What a great time to be reminded that half of the school were tired of the proud and ferocious lions that claimed their school.

At least now they would be able to focus on studying...

“Hey Potter.” Hermione and James both looked up to see Edith there, freckle faced and wind swept messy hair, somehow pulled off by the girl, especially as she gave them both a dimpled smile and a wave.

It only serves to annoy Hermione further, still able to look great after playing two hours of Quidditch while Hermione has to wipe the slight dripping from her nose and the sweat from her forehead, looking much more of a mess.

“What do you want?” James asked with a pout.

“Well I was going to brag but I see that isn’t the vibe we are going for.” Edith began dryly, giving the typical British smile when she met the tables annoyed glare. “Instead I came to say you did good today – same for Black and McKinnon – and I look forward to next year.” And then she was gone, leaving the Hall and everyone watching her.

“She does know we still have three weeks left of school, right?” James asked suddenly but he perked up, a small smile on his face, that didn’t move even as Lily sat opposite them.

“She means in Quidditch, you idiot.” Lily provided helpfully, James nodded his head – turning his eyes to meet Lily’s before going back to Hermione.

At least he wasn’t pretending she wasn’t there no more. Her brother was petty, but in this case rightfully so – the hurt of Lily’s comments and his friends stupidity cut deeper than anyone knew was possible and it was taking him a while to bounce back.

And it fucking sucked to see. Her brother, while dramatic and slightly idiotic, deserved better than being blamed for things or to have the girl he so clearly admired and drooled over, put him down and remind him that she didn’t really feel the same. Maybe it was right that he took a step back, made Lily think about what she had said and how she could fix it.

Though Hermione would never really admit it out loud, she was proud of her brother for having enough pride to take a step backwards.

“So Marlene mentioned something about a study group?” James asks, breaking through the awkward silence that sits around them like another person, hazel eyes flicking to Lily one last time.

Hermione lets out a laugh and offers a small smile when James sends her a quick glare. “You mean the group that you’ve been studying with for the past couple of weeks?”

“You were studying?”

“Wha – yes, Jamie – we were studying...actually we have these big exams coming up soon which will decide if we can continue into N.E.W.Ts -”

“Very funny...I didn’t know you were studying, I thought that was what you all normally did when I wasn’t around.” He seems genuinely confused, like he hadn’t thought three of the most studious people in their house weren’t preparing for their exams but just reading books and getting stressed for the sake of it.

It’s so classically James that she can’t help but laugh, even as a wave of heat hits her. “Believe it or not, we are actually known to do other things when you aren’t there.” He looks like he doesn’t quite believe and Hermione can’t blame him there.

“Anyway...now the Quidditch is sadly over, I really need to hit the books so that my summer doesn’t tragically end with mum beating me to death.” His puppy dog look has nothing on Sirius’, but it still makes her ache as she stares back at Harry’s face, slightly darker and with hazel eyes but it’s Harry nonetheless and her baby brother mixed into one person.

“I don’t think that depends on your exams but rather how annoying and cocky you are.” She remarks but it’s a whisper on her lips and her eyes feel strangely itchy, her hand twitching to grab something but there’s nothing there.

She feels dizzy, hazy in her own head, something picking at the back of her brain and a rush of emotions flooding through her at once. James is still talking, mouth moving with no sound as he tries to show her unfocused eyes his timetable, pointing at something she can’t quite see.

Something shakes on the table, and then Lily is there, head whipping around as she pushes away a broken shard of glass. Hermione blinks, noise slowly coming back as James places his hand against her head and pulls away with a frown.

“Mi’, are...is everything ok?”

No. But she can’t pinpoint what’s wrong or what happened, but it’s claiming her body with a tiredness she doesn’t want to feel. “Erm...yeah...I think I just need to go lay down.” She mutters, not waiting for an answer as she stumbles away from the table.

…

Monday the 24^th of May 1976

Fucking sick.

She’s fucking sick and her O.W.Ls are in a week.

At first she thought she was having some kind of mental break down, which wasn’t far from the truth, but no, she’s just caught a common cold and is being forced to lay in bed in the Hospital Wing with potions forced down her throat, despite her claims that she is fine.

“Now Miss Potter, stop being stubborn and take the potion.”

“I’m fine – it’s just a cold, in a couple of hours I’ll be right as rain.”

“A strong strain that is going to take a few remedial potions and a couple of days rest to right.” Hermione opens her mouth to fight, but instead a raspy popping cough follows, and she can’t stop the slight groan that leaves her mouth.

“Listen, Madam Pomfrey, I understand what you’re saying but the truth is that this the last week of revision before O.W.Ls, and I simply can’t afford to miss…” A sneeze, the whole body situation is really not helping her sell her point but honestly she had only come here to get a pepper up potion so she could continue with her day.

“Something tells me that you are far more ahead of your class and a couple of days away will do nothing to effect your results – now drink up and get into bed.” Pomfrey says with a click of her tongue as Hermione glares. “I’ll right a note informing your professors and I’m sure your friends will catch you up on anything you’ve missed.” There’s no fighting this but Hermione can’t help but want to.

“Oh for fuc-”

“I expect that gone -” Pomfrey pointed to the glass on Hermione’s bedside table with a stern glare. “- and you getting ready to sleep by the time I come back.” It’s an order if she’s ever heard one, and one her body is pleading with her to listen to despite what her brain is telling her.

She knows her O.W.Ls will be fine, but still she can’t shake the small part of her that needs to make sure she knows everything before then. The small part of Hermione Granger that still lingers and wants to be better than everyone else, wants to prove her worth.

Then comes the part that she is stuck to a bed until Madam Pomfrey releases her, drinking the thick vile potion that honestly tastes like something died, and trying to fight the sudden wave of tiredness that hits her.

She tried not to think about them much.

It always hurt to remember those that had passed, that died way too young while she got something of a second chance, to be someone else and to have another life where those memories could be forced back for her own traumatic ones – and for her own happier ones.

Real life offered her that escape, but her dreams did no such thing – they stole her memories and twisted them into something cruel that she couldn’t run away from. Told her of her failures, reminded her of everyone that was counting on her even if they didn’t know it yet. They reminded her of her mission – of the end she could bring to the war raging on outside the comfort of their school.

The strange thing was, she knew this was a dream from the moment it started.

Because she never wants to think about this moment. Never wants to see it.

He looks far too tired, and so much like his parents – and it makes her sad to realise, even as he offers her a small smile, what he’s going to try and show her.

“No.” She whispers, stumbling backwards and shaking her head. Trying to fight of the nausea that is threatening to overtake her – because she can see everyone else, can know that they won’t be effected – but she can’t watch him. Never him – not when their lives remain to be entwined.

“Mi’.” His hand is holding hers and his eyes are so sad, his smile a bit twisted on his handsome face.

“Don’t make me do this – not this.” She’s not begging him, she knows that, but more herself, trying her best to get her brain to cooperate with her but it’s not listening. It’s playing Hermione’s worst fears on a loop and this is where it’s caught, stuck until she wakes up. “I can’t…”

Her knees buckle, and he reaches out to catch her but ends up falling with her. It’s imagined, she doesn’t know what he’ll look like five years from now, but the stubble that scratches under her fingers feels real, so do the tired eyes. So much older than he actually is.

“It will be over soon.”

“I’m not watching this – you can’t expect me to...imagine if this was the other way around.”

“Then I would do all I can to save you like you are doing for me.”

“Jamie please…” He’s never been rough with her, but now he’s pulling her up by her arm, dragging her towards the house. And she should fight but she can’t, like everything in her body freezes as he leaves her in the hallway to watch the door.

A whimper leaves her mouth as she hears James rustling around in the living room, a warning on the tip of her tongue when he arrives, long cloak and red eyes passing over her. James rushes in, wandless, defenceless and she watches as he shouts something, then a flash of green light and her brother is falling to the floor.

Voldemort moves past her, invisible to him, as he heads up the stairs, soft voices flood down, pleads and another bright green light with a scream, a loud bang – a baby crying but her eyes remain focused on James as she cries softly. Her brothers hazel eyes stare up at her, blank and so hauntingly beautiful but she still can’t move to check on him, can’t move to check on her brother.

Forced to stare at her baby brother, while her best friend lays dead upstairs, who suddenly looks like the one she knows now only without the grin. Bile rising up her throat as she sees a rat rush by the gate followed by Sirius as he rushes in, stopping by his best friend with a loud sob.

A loud wail rings out and Sirius is moving again, the scenery changing around her but James is still laid there, but Sirius is older, sending spells left and right, a laugh coming from his lip even as a spell hits his in the chest and sends him backwards into a curtain that wasn’t there before and taking him from the world as Harry continues to scream from somewhere.

Then there’s Remus, battling the best he can, falling to the ground with the same dead eyes as her brother. Tonks laid not far away, and a baby between them with blue hair and tears rolling down his cheeks.

There’s whispers around of the McKinnons being murdered brutally but she can’t see it, can’t comprehend what that must have looked like. But apparently her brain can comprehend as a grown up Harry walks up to Teddy, picks up the baby and gives him a sad smile.

It only takes a second and then there both joining the rapidly growing pile of dead men at her feet, and she can’t look. It’s bad enough to have seen it all, to have heard it but she refuses to watch the death of a baby...of her best friend. Refuses to look at the other bodies joining.

“Hermione?” She knows that voice, but she is too busy battling her brain to try and get herself out of this nightmare. “Mi’?”

Her feet move, a small step at a time, because she needs to get back to him, to make sure none of this ever happens. Because out of everything she’s seen, she’ll be damned if her brother dies like he did, she can make sure that never happens.

“Mi’?” Another step forward and her eyes close…

And opened, blinking rapidly against the light of the Hospital Wing to focus on the blurry hazel eyed boy before her. A sob left her throat as she threw back the covers and wrapped her arms tightly around her brother, half dragging him onto the end of her bed.

He didn’t question the sudden onslaught of tears, didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around her despite their awkward position and offer her the comfort she clearly needed, even if she couldn’t fully explain why she was crying into the crook between his shoulder and his necks, muttering words that even she couldn’t make out.

That was the beautiful thing about their relationship – some things just didn’t need to be explained between them. A bond existed between them that passed all limits and boundaries – she would do anything for him and she knew he would do anything for her.

Hermione’s mission had started off with saving the world but she would give that all up if it meant just saving James. If it meant she could watch him grow old and be with his child, the same stupid grin on his face and the bright hope in his hazel eyes even as he sat hunched over and grey. He meant more than all of them.

“Nightmare?” He mumbled into her neck, rubbing her back slowly as the tears started to dry and she pulled away to run a hand over his face as she nodded.

He didn’t pull away like any other boy would do when their sibling tried to embarrass him, in fact he seemed to lean in, needing her touch as much as she needed him before her. Hermione and James, the most codependent siblings at Hogwarts it seemed.

“Want to talk about it?”

Her head shook before the words made it out. No she didn’t want to talk about what she had witnessed or how it made her heart hurt. “It was just something that I’m never going to let happen.” A promise she made even if she couldn’t say it out loud – and he seemed to understand enough as he nodded his head.

“Then I have faith that whatever it was will never see the light of day.” He meant it as a comfort, pulling on a curl and giving her a crooked smile, but it did the opposite. His faith in her wasn’t reassuring but instead weighed on her with it’s pressure – a pressure he didn’t even know he was putting on her. “How are you feeling now?”

A small smile made it’s way to her face as the back of his hand pressed itself to her forehead. “A lot better than this morning.” She answered, pulling away slightly and letting out a small cough that didn’t tear it’s way up her throat or make her whole body ache, but instead made her head feel a bit hazy.

“I’ll be the judge of that.” Hermione groaned as Madam Pomfrey swooped into her little space, sending a quick look to James who moved away to give her space. “Open up – yes, just what I thought – how are you feeling?” Her wand waved over Hermione, a strange tingling taking over her body and forcing her to grit her teeth against it.

“Fine.”

“Well your throat is still inflamed, your nasal passages blocked and I imagine if you were to try and walk for two minutes you would find yourself feeling dizzy.” Pomfrey checked off, looking over her parchment with a raised eyebrow that dared Hermione to try and fight her on it. “I’m going to keep you for another day for surveillance.”

“What – Madam Pomfrey, surely another nights rest will help – I don’t get why I have to stay here for another day?” Fuck. Another day away from classes. Another day with horrid dreams and feeling like she was laid in a puddle of her own feverish sweat.

“Colds spread, Miss Potter – especially when they tend to be as bad as your own – I can’t have students swarming in here when exams are a week away.” Pomfrey explained with a shake of her head. “Better to contain it now and avoid any future problems.” Like Hermione was patient number one of some kind of outbreak.

“But that – fine.”

“Which reminds me, Mr Potter, since you feel the need to ignore the signs of a sick person and perhaps contaminant yourself -”

“I get to miss a day of school and stay in here too?” James asked hopefully as Madam Pomfrey reached for the trolley she had left outside of the curtain, a frown on her face as she turned back to face the tall and childish boy.

“No – you get to drink this.” Hermione could have gagged, in fact she did a little as her own potion was placed on her bedside table, thick and goopy, and not something she wanted to pour down her throat for the second time in a day.

“What is it?”

“Arse.”

“Something like a pepperup, filled to the brim with nutrients to combat the early signs of any cold – something your sister should have come and gotten the moment she felt sick.” Pomfrey snapped, eyes flicking to Hermione in annoyance – how did one know if it was early signs of a cold or a mental breakdown?

“I’ll do that next time.” She deadpanned, watching as James shrugged his shoulders and downed the potion, face turning disgusted by he seemed to approve, handing the vile back to the matron and giving her a grin.

Pomfrey was not impressed, her eyes rolling to the back of her head as she turned towards Hermione. “As for you, I expect your own potion drunk within the next hour and a good nights rest – then we may see how you feel in the morning.” Hermione nodded her head but didn’t move to pick up her own vile, even as the Matron left them alone.

“I better head down for dinner, but I’ll be here tomorrow morning – so just rest and maybe ask Madam Pomfrey for some dreamless sleep.” He was already moving backwards as he spoke, eyebrows raised and hands swinging by his side as his stomach gave an angry rumble and a yawn left his mouth.

“I’ll be fine.” Hermione waved him off, a small smile on her face as he by stepped the curtain, half peering through at her.

“And drink your potion.”

“I will.”

“Love you!” His voice echoed through the wing as he left, feet slamming against the floor and Pomfrey calling out for him to be quiet but Hermione couldn’t help but chuckle and shout back.

“Love you too.” James’ laugh was quiet as Madam Pomfrey let out another unhappy yelp, the main door closing with a soft bang as Hermione picked up her potion.

It still tasted like death, even as warmth spread over her body, but now she relished the tiredness that seemed to come with the potion, allowing it to settle over her like a blanket and pull her into it’s deepest sleep.

Chapter Text

First week of June/Also know as O.W.Ls weeks/ 1976

Hermione had always loved the sound of quills scratching on parchment, the feeling of the sharp tip digging into the thick paper was something else – comforting almost. Like opening a brand new book, or being allowed to touch a book so old that one small nudge would make the whole thing disintegrate – it was a sensation like no other.

But right now the once beloved sound was grating on her nerves and testing her patience. Whoever thought it would be a good idea to put all the fifth year students in one room, for their exams, with the loudest tools was stupid.

Not to mention the half of the students who kept making noises under their breath as they tried to figure out the answers, or were rustling their parchments, or wiping the sweat from their brow as the warm sunshine crept through the high windows and mixed with the immense stress that seemed to fill every space.

Though it seemed to have avoided Snape, who sat before her, greasy and lank hair sticking out like a sore thumb with his head bent so close to the page that Hermione had no doubts his hooked nose was sliding across the parchment that was full of cramped, miniscule writing and hanging off the side of his desk.

For a second she couldn’t help but smile, reminded so much of Hermione Granger – so eager to prove that she knew every aspect of her exams that half of what she had written had no use. A stark comparison to the Hermione Potter who had simply answered the questions as she was supposed to and left it as that, her exam feeling slightly empty.

Brown eyes flicked up again as Snape shook off what was no doubt a hand cramp before going straight back to writing.

“Five more minutes!” Flitwick shouted, Hermione turned away from looking at Snape to instead look at James, a couple of aisles across and further down, his messy black hair sticking out and making him easy to spot, even more so as he sat up straight, placing down his quill so he could read over his exam, something he gave up quickly.

A yawn left his mouth as he rumpled up his hair and turned to look around, meeting her eye quickly as she raised and eyebrow and he shrugged a shoulder, a cheeky grin appearing on his face as he gave her thumbs up.

Rolling her eyes, she looked away, drifting to stare more at the boy sat four seats behind her brother, tilting back on two legs and chewing the end of his quill. There was a lack of ease to his shoulders, tense and unaware of the hopeful girl, behind him eyeing him up – his chair all but slamming to the ground as he landed back on four legs and wrote something on his parchment, long soft hair acting as some kind of curtain.

She looked away quickly as a flash of silver looked her way, moving two seats along from the hopeful girl to find the pale, frowning werewolf that was Remus Lupin, his quill tapping against his chin as he reread his answers with more vigour than her brother, but less energy than Sirius – his full moon tiredness slipping into the etches of his face.

Light green eyes looked up to meet hers, a soft smile on his face sent her way before he was looking back down at his exam and Hermione was turning away, instead staring at the golden head of hair that was Marlene, who seemed to be drifting off on her desk a few spaces before James – and then Lily, who like Snape, seemed to be trying to write as much as she could before their five minutes were up.

Which they seemed to be as Flitwick stood at the head of the desks, his squeaky voice ringing out for all to hear. “Quills down, please! That means you too, Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchment! Accio!” His wand flicked out, a laugh leaving Hermione’s mouth as Marlene’s elbow slipped out from under her, head smacking against the wood the same time Flitwick fell backwards under the pile of exams.

Icy eyes met her own, a small snort leaving her mouth as she watched a couple of Ravenclaws run to help their professor up. “Fuck you.” Marlene mouthed over the Great Hall, mouth tilting into a small smirk.

“Thank you...thank you.” Flitwick panted out, waving his hand, cheeks flushed. “Very well, everybody, you’re free to go!” Hermione didn’t need to be asked twice, shoving her exam paper and quill into her bag, and heading towards the door – making sure to avoid the group of chattering girls who seemed to think the middle of the Great Hall was the place to speak.

A hiss escaped her mouth as Snape barged past, arm swinging into her own and black eyes turning to glare at James, Sirius and Remus as they walked out together, seeming less awkward than they had a couple of weeks ago. A sneer made it’s way onto his face as he turned to meet eyes with her, surprised for a second, before resuming their usual glare.

“What are you looking at, Potter?”

“I was just wondering how the examiners would be able to read an exam covered in grease.” It was cruel, but she was beyond tired of the scathing looks and comments from him. “I mean, not to be rude, but one would think a sixteen year old would know how to wash their hair.” His lip curled up further and a small smile made it’s way to her face.

“Why you -”

“Afternoon Snape.” Whatever he was going to say died on his tongue the moment Marlene opened her mouth, standing beside Hermione and dragging Lily along with him.

Black eyes met green, a shared sadness and hurt flicking between the pair of them, in a way that Hermione could never understand – but she could understand the tension that stayed with Lily as Snape turned on his heel and stalked away, his head bowed and his foot steps slow as he weaved in and out of groups, not even giving her brother a second glance as he strode not two feet away.

Hermione followed, slower, an alarm ringing in her head as she looked between the four boys, something feeling oddly familiar, like deja vu, except she was 100% sure she had never seen this before.

She watched them, James, Sirius and Remus cutting across the lawn and towards the lake, Snape following behind without seemingly any idea where he was actually going, especially as he pulled out his exam paper to look it over, sitting himself down on the grass near a densely shadowed group of bushes, while her brother and their friends sat by the edge of the lake under a beech tree.

“You coming, Hermione?” Lily asked suddenly, pulling on her hand as Hermione turned her head from her brother and the snitch he suddenly had to the emerald eyed girl who was watching her with concerned eyes.

“Yeah...of course.” Hermione answered back with one last look over her shoulder as she followed her two best friends towards the lake. “How did the exam go?”

“Good I think, though I’m not sure on question -”

“You are being serious, aren’t you?” Marlene asked with a small laugh, leaning back and letting her feet rest in the water, the sun seeming to make her more golden than normal, shining off of her like it did the water and attracting a few looks from students who were studying nearby. “Or is this going to be like the mistake that you think you made in Ancient Runes, because I can’t do another five hours of possibly incorrect answers.” Her voice rose at the end, higher pitch than usual as Lily blushed.

“I just want to do the best I can.” Lily whispered as Marlene rolled over onto her belly, bending her legs behind her and sending a glare to some second year who let out a whistle.

“And you have – probably better than anyone else, so don’t stress about it.”

“We still haven’t completed Transfiguration yet, we all know the struggles I’ve had with vanishing spells, unlike some people.” If bitter was a sound then it would have been Lily’s voice as her eyes drifted to where the boys still sat under the tree, staring forward and muttering small sentences to one another.

“I don’t think you count failing to do it one time as a struggle.” Marlene hit back, a small smile on her face as Lily turned back around and frowned at her.

“I – fine.” A resigning sigh that had Marlene smiling in victory. “I will admit that I am looking forward to the summer after these exams.” Hermione let out a hum of agreement, eyes trailing through the grounds, stopping at a pair of bright blue eyes looking their way.

“Not sure I can say the same, but I do think a bit of relaxing would be good for you.” The eyes shifted to the girl talking beside her, a twist in Hermione’s gut as she turns back to look at Marlene. “You alright, Mi’?” Icy eyes filled with concern slide to look at someone else and Hermione doesn’t have to turn around to know who it is.

“Fine.” Her eyes narrow as she sends as Marlene looks back at her. “Is something going on between you and Regulus?” The question slips out before Hermione can stop it, both girls staring at her with something close to shock.

Marlene’s mouth gapes open like a fish and Lily’s head moves so fast to look between both people in question that no one would be surprised if she ended up with whiplash.

“What – who – Sirius’ brother?” Marlene manages to squeak out, and it would have been believable if her eyes didn’t drift over to the boy in question and her cheeks weren’t even pinker than before. “Why would you even think that?” An awkward laugh slips out at the end.

“You know people who are telling the truth just say no.” Hermione hisses, turning her head once again to look at Regulus, his eyes turning wide and his head bowing almost instantly as she turns back to look at Marlene with a single raised eyebrow and a smirk. “So what’s happening?”

Marlene blushes again and furrows her brow, turning her head away to stare out the lake. “Maybe he’s looking at you.” It’s doubtful but not impossible. “Or he’s trying to spot the Giant Squid.” Marlene’s face is filled with humour.

“Or maybe you’re hiding something.”

“Nope.”

Hermione opens her mouth to respond, shutting it when a group of students run past, eyes wide and focused on something behind the girls that has them all turning around to see what is happening.

It’s not what she wants to see, but it doesn’t surprise her. Sirius, James and Snape stood in a little circle glaring at each other while Remus pretends to read his book, green eyes stuck on one part and a faint frown between his eyebrows – Hermione half expects him to get up and stop it, but she knows he won’t, that he’ll let this happen without interfering.

Lily is up in a second, leaving her bag on the ground and heading towards the growing crowd, Marlene not far behind but Hermione seems to lag, feet moving a small step at a time as she watches James become more and more agitated by whatever Snape is saying – pale face turning into a sneer and black eyes glinting wickedly.

Sirius is moving first, his wand wiping out fast and pointing at the boy, but Snape has the upper hand, a nasty grin on his face like he’s been waiting for this. His lips move and Sirius’ wand is flipping from his hand, leaving Snape to chuckle.

It dies quickly as James moves next, wand flicking as Hermione arrives just in time to hear him shout the spell. “Expelliarmus!” Snape’s wand flies behind him, landing near Hermione’s feet with a soft flood as Sirius lets out a small chuckle.

“Impedimenta.” Hermione watches as Snape is knocked off his feet, halfway towards his wand, eyes on Hermione. A frown makes it way to her face as she watches her brother move closer, his hazel eyes catching her own.

“Don’t give him that.” James mutters to her as she takes a step closer, moving to grip Snape’s wand in her hand, ignoring the guilt in her stomach as she looks sideways at James. The familiar feeling slinks back, her brain trying to pull at a thread that didn’t seem to exist any more – that didn’t seem to fit right with the image she was seeing.

“Why not just leave this alone?” Hermione asks lowly, the students watching, seemingly put off by the siblings talking instead of continuing the fun James seemed to have started. “You’ve got him back for whatever he’s done – leave it at that.” She whispers the last words but James shakes his head.

He looks so serious when his eyes settle back on Snape, but his words are for her. “I’m of him thinking he can run his mouth about the people I care about -” He sends her another look, making her bite back the retort on her tongue. “When you’ve got a second, have a look at the back of Remus’ head.” Hermione’s own head wipes around to where Remus is still sat, one of his hands running over the back of his head with a wince.

“Stinging hex.” Sirius is muttering from her other side, and Hermione can’t help but wince, reaching up to touch her arm where Snape had once gotten her.

Her eyes drift back to Snape as he lets out a growl, breath panting out of him and legs seemingly bound and unable to move. His black eyes fixed between the boys, focusing mainly on James with such hatred that Hermione felt her own anger building, as he hissed. “You fucking wait...you fucking wait, Potter.”

“Wait for what?” Sirius’ voice was cold, eyes glinting like steel in the sun before he smirked and turned to face his crowd. “What’re you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?” The crowd let out a laugh as Sirius barked out his own.

Snape hissed, moving around and spitting out hexes that did nothing, his wand feeling strangely warm in Hermione’s hands as his eyes moved up to look at Hermione. Teeth bared like a rabid dog that had spotted prey. “Give me my wand back, fucking bitch -”

“Wash out your mouth.” James hissed, his wand moving before Hermione could even stop him. “Scourgify!” A sigh leaves her mouth as she turns away at the first sign of pink bubbles and froth leaving the boy’s lips, followed by gagging and coughing as he tries to breath through the soap.

“James, that’s enough.” Hermione hisses at her brother, pulling on his arm. “Please.” His hazel eyes turn on her, confused, but there is something else there – there is always something else there with her brother, another reason to question or do what he wanted to do.

“Did you not hear what he just sa-”

“Leave him alone!” Another sigh leaves her mouth as her eyes close for a second, feeling the way her brother automatically seemed to reach for his messy hair. Lily was glaring, red hair crackling around her shoulders and eyes more furious than a floo fire.

Once James would have bent over backwards, would have given her heart eyes and nodded his head eagerly to please her, then continued when her back was turned, but now he just stares at her coldly, the hurt obvious to anyone who knew him – but evidentially not to Lily. “What do you want, Evans?”

Her mouth opens slightly, green eyes flashing quickly to Hermione who looks away, back towards the crowd where Marlene is frowning and Regulus is lurking along the edges. “I want you to leave him alone.” Her voice is softer now, slightly unsure, as she turns back to James. “What did he even do to you?” His back straightens and his eyes flash.

“Other than insulting and threatening people I care about?” James questions back, raising an eyebrow as Lily opens her mouth to speak, closing it fast and sending a quick look to Snape. “Though I guess they don’t mean that much to you, if you are choosing this piece of scum once again.” Hurt flashes across the redheads face as James turns away.

The crowd watches with wide eyes, whispering to one another. It must be a rare sight to see, for those who haven’t been involved in the group’s dynamic recently, to see James glaring at Lily – to see him step away and to see Lily watch him like she wasn’t quite sure who he was any more – wasn’t quite sure how to deal with a boy who no longer seemed to do everything he could to win her over.

Hermione stepped forward, ready to interrupt, to stop whatever fight seemed to be about to take place between the boys, to pull her brother away when Lily spoke first. “You think you’re so much better?” Voice but a whisper and yet cold as ice. “That as long as you’re defending people then you can be as cruel and arrogant as you want, when reality is that you’re just a bully.”

If her words bother James, then he doesn’t let it show other than a quick clench of his wand and his eyes turning to look at Hermione. “Think what you want, Evans, I honestly don’t care any more.” Despite his words, or the flinch and frown that crosses Lily’s face, he moves away and towards Hermione, pulling Snape’s wand from her grip and throwing it to Snape’s feet as he coughs.

“Potter -”

“Leave it alone, Lily.” Hermione hears Sirius snap at the girl, her hand reaching out to tug on her brothers arm as he clicks his tongue and runs a hand over his face.

It hurts to see the pain behind his eyes, hurts to know her friend put it there. She loves Lily, she does, but James is her brother and her oldest friends mixed into one protective package that is making her want to pull him into her arms to try and ease his aching heart or turn and jinx Lily for even daring to hurt him, even though she understands.

Instead she doesn’t do either, opening her mouth to speak – to send everyone away when Sirius shouts. “Oi!”

The siblings turn to look as Snape stands, wand switching between being pointed at James and Hermione, black eyes glinting and mouth moving. Hermione shuts her eyes against the flash of light, opening them quickly as she feels a few warm spots of liquid hit her face.

James is stood before her, hand gripping his cheek tightly, a deep gash just visible beneath, dark red blood staining his fingers and dripping down his chin. His hand moves quick, another flash and Snape is hanging upside down, his robes falling above his head and his greying underwear on show as his pale legs kicked out.

Her mouth opens, the retort on the tip of her tongue as she thinks about how he should have worn some trousers instead like everyone else. But it dies down as James lets out another hiss, her head turning to take him in.

“We need to get you to Madam Pomfrey.” Her words are whispered but he nods his head, wand still on Snape as the crowd laughs around them.

“Let him down!” Lily is stood before the siblings, glaring between them like it’s both their fault, and James doesn’t think twice before waving his wand and watching as Snape crumples into a heap on the floor, an angry sound leaving his mouth as he attempted to stand back up with his wand.

Hermione let out a deep breath, her own wand in her hand as James moved his hand away to look at the blood there, his cheeks turning pale. With a quick wave over her shoulder she sent Snape kneeling back over and stiff as a board.

“What are you doing?” Lily asked her loudly, her eyes staring at Hermione. “I thought – why would you -”

“Have you seen James’ face?” Hermione asked harshly, pulling on her brothers hand to show the girl, pink cheeks paling at the sight and her emerald eyes going wide as James let out another hiss. “I understand that you don’t like what’s been happening, neither do I, but there is a difference between having your mouth washed out and physically trying to mutate someone.” Her voice grew more agitated as Marlene joined the group.

“It was a reaction.” Lily protested weakly as James let out a scoff, the bleeding having stopped from whatever Marlene was doing, and his colour returning.

Hermione frowned for a second, watching as Regulus slinked through the crowds, eyes on Marlene and her wand movement before she turned back to Lily. “A reaction that could have killed James if it was a couple of inches lower – something I’m sure Snape was aiming to do.” Frozen black eyes gazed back at her and gave her all the answers she needed to know.

“Something that’s not going to happen again.” James hissed out, hand gripping his wand as he glared at Snape.

“Leave him alone.” Lily whispered each word, her wand in her hand and half aimed towards James who eyed it with a frown, letting out another scoff as he shook his head,

“I’m not going to do anything!” James snapped back, pushing his wand back into his sleeve and shaking his head with a wince. “Now get your wand out of my face.” He hissed, pushing her wand away from him with a frown.

“Just – just take the curse off him.” Lily spoke, emerald eyes wide and all but begging as she stared at James, his top teeth digging into his bottom lip as he raised his eyebrows and sent a look to Sirius who was staring at the crowd with a frown.

James let out a deep sigh, nodding his head. “Fine.” His wand waved weakly at Snape and the counter-curse was muttered under his breath, a single glance spared for Lily as Snape struggled to get to his feet. “Try that again, Snape, and it won’t matter whether Evans is here to save you or not -”

“I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!” It clicked in an instant, the thread her brain had trying to pull on coming forth – the memory Harry had seen in Snape’s penisive, the bully James and Sirius had done. It had been this – but it was different from this – more cruel, more for no reason unlike now.

Except for one thing. A sigh left Hermione’s mouth as she turned to look at Lily, her best friend staring at Snape coolly. “Fine...Don’t worry, I won’t bother in the future.” Snape winced, his mouth opening but Lily was quicker. “And I’d wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus.” Hermione watched as the boy seemed to slump under the insult, eyes becoming strangely watery.

“Lily -”

“You better apologise, Snape.” James hissed, his wand turned back onto the pleading boy. Lily watched for a second, her eyes moving between the two before she shook her head.

“I don’t want him to apologise – I don’t want you to make him apologise.” Her voice cut through James, his eyebrows scrunching together as he opened his mouth to speak. “You’re honestly just as bad as he is.” James stepped back like he had been slapped.

“I know you’re mad, and to be honest I’m pissed at you too but I would never ever call you a you-know-what.” James spat out, eyes glaring at the girl who he had adored for so long. “How could you even compare -”

“Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool, showing off with your stupid snitch, walking down corridors hexing anyone who annoys you because you can – I’m surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head of yours.” Lily hissed out every word as James let out a little laugh and clucked his tongue, shaking his head at the girl.

“You done?” Lily’s mouth opened and a small frown appeared, like she expected him to fight back. Like after everything he had been called, everything she had said whether it was two months ago or now hadn’t hurt James. Like she could just get them back to what they were with a few insults.

“You make me sick.” Was the last thing she said, turning on her heel and storming away from them all without a second glance, both Snape and James staring after her.

“What the fuck is her problem?” Hazel eyes turned to Hermione, as though she could answer the question but she had no clue what to even say that would explain the situation with Lily.

It was Sirius who spoke, a small nervous smile on his face as he let out a cough that had James turning to face him with a questioning glance. “Reading between the lines, I’d say she thinks you’re a bit conceited, mate.”

James let out a scoff, rubbing his hand across his cheek and wincing, eyes flicking nervously at the crowd that was still watching them. “Reckon she hasn’t been paying attention then -” His back straightened and he glared at a few of the watchers. “Don’t you people have other things to do?” The crowd whispered again, some people slipping away and some staying.

“James -”

“Whatever – can you take me to Madam Pomfrey?” He turned to Hermione, eyes wide as her words died on her lips and she nodded her head, gripping his arm and leading him away from their friends, Snape and the lingering crowd.

…

“Oh for fucks sake.” Hermione hissed out, rolling her eyes as she came to the Fat Lady’s portrait, a plate of food in her hand but her eyes on the boy laying in front of the portrait, his black eyes staring up at the Fat Lady. “What are you doing here?”

Snape turned to look at her, his jaw tensing and eyes glinting madly in the low light. “Go and get Lily for me.”

“No!” Hermione all but shouted, frowning deeply and taking a step towards the portrait hole, letting out a sigh when he blocked her path. “One; get out of my way, and two; why do think I am just going to follow your command and bring Lily out here after what you called her and what you did to James?” She asked with a growl as Snape frowned.

“I asked McDonald but -” Snape cut himself off as Hermione glared at him. “Potter will be fine.” He hissed out, glaring at her now.

“You won’t be if you try anything like that again – I’m not above spilling what hides beneath that sleeve of yours nor am I above hitting back.” The words slipped from her tongue like venom, a sickly sweet smile on his face as he flinched away from her and gripped his robe covered arm.

“What’s happening here?” The pair turned to see Lily as she stepped out of the tunnel, portrait half closed behind her and emerald eyes looking between them.

“Nothing.” Hermione muttered, giving Snape one last look before turning to face her friend. “I’ll leave you two to talk, I’m sure James is wondering -”

“Stay.” Lily spoke suddenly, her hand reaching out to grab Hermione and stop her from going further. “This shouldn’t take long and I think – I need to see James too.” Her eyes met Hermione’s before she sighed. “I owe him an apology.” Snape scoffed but Hermione smiled and nodded her head, leaning against the wall and waiting.

“You don’t owe Potter shi-” Snape began, stopping when Lily rolled her eyes and Hermione let out a quick hiss. His jaw tensed again, black eyes snapping to Hermione and the back to Lily. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not interested.”

“I’m sorry!”

“Save your breath” Lily sighed out, wrapping her arms around her stomach and shaking her head as Hermione blew out a breath. “I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here – which is just stupid.”

“It’s not, I was going to and I will do if -”

“How do you think that will go over if you run into anyone who heard what happened? Or if you run into James, Sirius – even Remus or Marlene?” Snape flinched as though he could see and a small smirk formed on Lily’s face. “How do you think my friends will react to seeing you out here after what you called me?” The words were whispered, slightly cruel and taunting in a way that made Hermione feel slightly bad for the boy.

“I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just – ”

“Slipped out?” Lily asked as Snape nodded his head in agreement. “It’s too late. I’ve made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you.” Lily looked towards Hermione who bowed her head in avoidance.

“Because we’ve known each other for years!” Snape defended, moving closer to Lily, his anger falling from his face as she took a step away from him and held out her hand. “Please Lily.” Hermione’s gut twisted as he all but begged. “I didn’t–“ He cut himself off with a shake of his head and a quick gulp, turning to look at Hermione. “Tell her I didn’t mean-”

“She doesn’t need to tell me anything – you did this, Sev.” Lily snapped, her voice raising and Hermione had no doubt people were listening inside the Common Room. “You think I don’t know what’s under your sleeve – that I haven’t known for months or years that you were going to join him the moment you could!” Snape winced again, touching the mark over his sleeve. “I can’t pretend any more. You’ve chosen your way, I’ve chosen mine.”

It was the truth, but watching as Snape’s face fell, as he realised that this truly was the end of his friendship, Hermione couldn’t help but feel bad for him. He had made a mistake, one that had finally cost him after years of Lily defending and coming back to him – even when she said she wouldn’t – and now it was over.

Snape moved forward again, not stopping as Lily moved backwards, his hand reaching out to grab her own and his voice desperate as he spoke. “No – listen, I didn’t mean – ”

“ – to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?” Lily asked, cutting him off before he could continue, pulling her hand softly from his grasp and turning to Hermione. “Let’s go back inside.”

Hermione nodded her head as Lily climbed back through the portrait hole, stopping and turning back to Snape who was gaping at the ground.

Her hand gripped the frame tightly, a small sigh leaving her mouth before she spoke. “There’s still a way to fix this.” Black eyes met hers, eager and wide, before they narrowed as her as drifted to the sleeve of his robes. “That’s the only way she’ll forgive you.” Without dwelling on it, she turned on her heel, letting the frame slam shut behind her and the tunnel enclose her body.

…

“Are you sure this is going to be fine?” Lily asked from outside the boys dormitory, her emerald eyes wide as she turned to face Hermione, the plate of food now in her hands, the pink fingers moving the sandwich to look more neat.

Hermione shrugged her shoulders and reached for the doorknob, a cheeky grin on her face as she began to push the door open, ignoring Lily’s protests. “Not sure, let’s find out – good evening dear brother.”

James looked up with a frown from his bed, a thick paste on his cheek, his glasses askew and a book resting against his bent knees. A painful smile formed on his face as he opened his mouth to stay something, stopping when he caught sight of Lily over his sister’s shoulders.

“Where are Remus and Sirius?” Hermione asked, ignoring her brother to sit on Remus’ bed, bouncing up and down and grinning when she found an opened chocolate bar under his pillow. “He has more of these, right?” James sent her a quick look, nodding his head in agreement and watching as she snapped off a piece and popped it into her mouth.

“They went somewhere – I didn’t ask.” His voice was monotone as Lily stepped further into room, the plate clutched tightly in her hands. “What is -”

“I’m sorry.” Lily mumbled, holding out the plate to James who just frowned at her like she was speaking another language. “I said some horrible shit, and you didn’t deserve that.”

“Which time?”

“James -”

“I mean stuffs been spewing out of your mouth for the past five years – I need specifics.” James remarked dryly, closing his book and leaning back onto his pillows with a raised eyebrow that had Lily’s jaw tensing and her eyes flashing dangerously.

“You know what I – actually, no.” “You have been an arrogant dick for the past five years at school -”

“Great apology.”

“ - and I hated it…and I won’t lie and say some things that I have said weren’t true because they were – but there were times that you didn’t deserve them – the full moon and today were a couple of those times.” Lily continued as though James hadn’t interrupted her, green eyes staring at the foot of the bed where his trunk laid.

James let out a hum of agreement but didn’t say anything else, not even as Lily crept closer, placing the plate on the beside table and moving his book aside to sit at the end of his bed and face him. Her face lacked any disgust or contempt, but instead was open and soft, a slight nervousness as a pale hand reached up to tuck the auburn hair, darker in the low bedroom light, behind her ear.

“You -”

Lily let out another breath, reaching forward to grip James’ darker hand in her own. “You were protecting your friends, your sister...and you saved Snape – and now it’s my turn to protect my friends who would do the same to me.” A gentle squeeze and the hand was rested on Lily’s lap with her own. “I’m sorry, for hurting you, for blaming you, for assuming it was your fault – and I’m sorry.”

James let out another hum, pulling his hand away from her own gently and reaching for the plate of food. “Yeah it was pretty shit.” He added, pulling at the sandwich. “But it’s not like I don’t understand – Snape’s your friend and I’m not – no offence or anything but I would act the same way between you and Sirius.” He shrugged his shoulders and Lily’s own sank slightly.

Hermione let herself smile sadly – Snape and Lily were no more and Sirius and James weren’t speaking, but there was something there still between them – a protective instinct that came through even when they hated each other. Like brothers in a fight.

“You are my friend.” Hermione and James looked up, her brother’s hazel eyes shining brightly behind his glasses as he raised an eyebrow.

“Lily, you’ve spent your whole time at this school hating me and wanting me to leave you alone – I wouldn’t call that friendship.” He whispered, but there was a pink tint to his neck and cheeks, a small smile forming on his face that he seemed to be trying hard to keep off.

“Maybe not that, no – but before all the shit went down, we were getting along and I thought – well I thought we had finally gotten somewhere.” Lily admitted, her own gentle smile and blushing cheeks matching James’.

Hermione frowned, Merlin, it was like they couldn’t even see it.

“Yeah, me too.”

“So I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine – like I said I do understand.” James nodded, a wider smile on his face as he took a bite of his sandwich, seemingly swallowing his bite in one go as he turned to look back at Lily in confusion. “Are you waiting for us to hug or something?” Lily blinked, her cheeks turning redder than her hair and her eyes moving up from wherever they had been looking.

“Isn’t that what friends are supposed to do?” Her voice sounded strained and Hermione couldn’t stop the small laugh that left her mouth as Lily retucked the hair behind her ear.

“I thought it was kiss and make up.” James teased, eyes glinting but his plate was being pushed away and his arms were already opening.

“I think just a hug will do.”

It was almost too sweet to watch, like eating the Halloween feast. But yet she couldn’t help but stop and stare as James tucked Lily into his chest, much the same way he had with her. How they seemed to fit like a couple of puzzle pieces, or how the same slightly dopey smile took over their faces without the other knowing.

Hermione would give it another year before they realised.

Chapter Text

You must be strong enough to know that love will come to you when you are ready. You must be strong enough to know when to say goodbye, and know that letting go is not weak. -  Marisa Donnelly

Friday the 18^th of June 1976

“Get off my shoulder.”

“I’m tired.”

“Then go back upstairs.”

“The train is two hours...I’ll sleep then but for now -”

“Remus!” Marlene snapped after a few seconds, pushing the boy off her shoulder as she stabbed a fork into her breakfast. His head lolled to the side, falling onto Sirius’ shoulder, who looked down for a second before continuing eating.

“Do you think she’s worried someone will see?” Lily whispered to Hermione, the pair of them chuckling as their eyes move to look towards the Slytherin table in search of the bright blue eyed culprit who might be watching.

“Oh definitely.” Hermione whispered back, ignoring the sharp glare Marlene sent her way.

“What are you two whispering about?” A small smile made it’s way to her face as James sat himself down on the other side of her, waving at some of the Seventh years who are making the most of their last couple of hours at Hogwarts by shoving their faces full of food.

“Nothing – they are being stupid and trying to make something out of nothing.” Marlene answered before Lily or Hermione could say anything.

Not that Hermione would, she knew this is a sensitive topic, one that has only being brought up twice and brushed off eagerly – or has ended with Marlene making sure Zach distracts Hermione so she can leave and avoid all questions.

Something that has worked as the couple had tried to make the most of their own last days at Hogwarts – checking places of their lists and spending more time with their lips attached than was probably healthy.

Lily though didn’t seem to have the same experience as she smirked at Marlene and began speaking. “Let me ask you boys something – when you stare at a girl is it because you fancy her or because -”

“Normally fancy.”

“You’re planning to murder them?”

“Could be lost in your thoughts.”

The girls stared at the boys with frowns, mainly James and Remus who didn’t look any more put out by their own suggestions, their heads only turning as Sirius let out a cough and carried on speaking. “But mainly you’re trying to imagine what they might be like in -”

“And I think you’ve proved our point, thank you Black.” Lily cut him off before he could continue, her voice not as harsh as it had been a few days ago and the tension lessening everyday between the group.

“Anytime, Evans.” Black answered with a salute, going back to his food without another comment.

“So someone’s been staring at Marlene? Who is it?” Hermione couldn’t help but laugh as her brother practically bounced in his seat, leaning forward like Marlene was going to spill the gossip he was clearly so desperate for.

Only to be met with a harsh glare and a short snappish answer. “No one!”

“It’s not no one...it’s someone and Marlene has been staring back!” Lily added, leaning around Hermione with her own grin as James turns to face her, a gasp leaving his lips and his hand moving to rest over his chest.

“No!”

“You are all idiots.” Remus muttered under his breath, straightening his head and holding it with both hands. One would think that a week from the moon would mean he would be better, but the first moon with Sirius again, plus long nights of studying had gotten to him.

“So why haven’t you gone after him?” Sirius asked suddenly, a frown on his face as the girls and James turned to look at him. A small laugh left his mouth as he spoke around his food. “I mean...you’ve never had a problem with that before.” It was true, Marlene often went after who she wanted at that moment, or they came after her.

“Because it’s nothing...and may I remind you all that my parents are trying to marry me off which means if I liked anyone then I couldn’t do something if I wanted to – which I don’t.” Marlene snapped, her cheeks turning red and a groan leaving her mouth.

“So you do like him?” James asked, eyebrows raising and his posture stiffening. His head turned to look up and down the Gryffindor table, like he could spot the person with merely a look.

“It’s like Romeo and Juliet.” Lily sighed, a hand on her heart as the boys turned to look at her bemused, only Hermione laughed slightly.

“Don’t they both die?” Remus asked, picking up his cup of tea and taking a sip.

“I meant the whole star-crossed lovers thing.” Lily explained, a dreamy look to her eyes.

Hermione could see it now – the fighting houses, two people who shouldn’t be together but wanted to be...it would be kind of cute and surprising to see. Not that it would ever be able to come to that, if they wanted it to. Regulus was heading one way and Marlene another.

“Who is it?” Sirius asked suddenly, like James looking around though his eyes drifted to the other tables, scanning every face, seeming to understand that it wasn’t some Gryffindor.

“No one...can we just leave it, please?” Marlene asked, icy eyes flicking away from where bright blue were no looking their way. Her head fell into her hands and her cheeks turned even pinker, everyone falling silent as they watched her.

Hermione couldn’t say for sure that Marlene even liked Regulus, she was curious, that much was sure. Whatever they had spoke about had been enough to have the pair of them sending looks and all but seeking each other out.

“Hey.” A smile made it’s way to her face as she turned to see Zach stood behind her, pulling his hat off his head and smiling tensely as she pushed James away to make room for him.

“Hi! Happy graduation!”

“Thanks.” His laugh is short and slightly awkward as he eyes the space and blew out a breath that had Hermione frowning and James’ chewing stop. “Do you mind if – could we go somewhere to chat?” Someone around her let out a sigh, Lily’s hand rubbed across her back and Hermione opened her mouth to speak but no sound comes out.

She had known this was coming – had dreaded it, but had seen it a mile away. A part of her wanted to ignore him, shake her head and pretend it wasn’t happening, but she was a Gryffindor for a reason. Instead she smiled, brushing off her skirt and stood up. “Sure.”

…

The sun shone bright over the courtyard, despite the heaviness that seemed to linger between them, the truth settling on them like a wet cloak.

Hermione let out a sigh as she sat on one of the stone walls, eyes trailing over the groups of laughing students while Zach sat beside her. For a second she wished she was one of those, a student with no worries other than what next year would bring or if she got the internship she wanted. No drama, no secrets – no goodbyes.

She was tired of goodbyes.

A lone tear slipped down her face, her eyes closing as Zach reached out to hold her hand, his larger fingers twisting with her own. “Please don’t cry.” His voice was warm, despite the sadness that tinged it.

“I knew this was coming but it still sucks.”

Zach let out a watery laugh, his hand slipping from hers so that his arm could slide around her shoulder, heavy and pressing her down but comforting nonetheless. “It fucking sucks.” A laugh followed by a quick sniff. “I wish it didn’t have to be this way.”

Someone else, someone who wasn’t her, might have begged, pleaded for it not to end – not when it was going so good and they were happy. But that wasn’t Hermione, it wasn’t Zach.

This relationship had started with both of them knowing what was coming, what had already existed before them, despite the fact that neither of them had said anything. They had enjoyed what time they could and made the most out of it, and Hermione would treasure it for the rest of her life.

“So do I but I’m not angry.” Hermione whispered back, smiling softly as she looked into those kind warm brown eyes, reaching across his lap to grip his free hand and hold it. “I’m grateful.” His eyes turned wider and she gave him a weak grin. “Thank you for...thank you for being you.” There was so much she wanted to say and not enough time – not enough words to express what he had done for her.

Zach stared back, bringing up their joint hands to press a kiss to the back of her hand, a soft smile making it’s way onto his face. “You deserve the best, Hermione, don’t ever doubt that for a second.” His hand dropped to her lap, his other hand pulling her in closer as another tear fell.

“I’m going to miss you.” Her arms wrapped around his waist as she settled her face against his chest, the familiar warm smell flooding her senses and doing nothing to calm her down nor stop the tears from soaking the fabric below her cheek.

Yet for once she didn’t care. Didn’t care if anyone saw her, if it got spread around the castle by the end of the day – she was saying goodbye to someone who meant more than she had ever thought they would and it fucking sucked.

Zach let out another small chuckle as he held onto her just as tight, light drops hitting the top of her head. “I’ll miss you too.” He pulled away for a second, using his hands to wipe over her face. “But just because this is…” His words cut off and his mouth tensed before he smiled again. “This doesn’t mean that I don’t want you in my life – in any capacity I can get because...”

Hermione felt her eyes water again as she shakily nodded her head and tried to smile. “I’d rather have you in my life as a friend than nothing at all.” His eyes met hers as she tried to smile once again but the tears spilt over the edge.

“Yeah.”

“You’re a good man, Zachary Townsend, and whoever you end up with is going to be the luckiest person in the world.” She meant it, meant every single word.

“I could say the same to you, Hermione Potter – though I do ask that you wait until he deserves you before you take that leap.” She didn’t have to ask who he wass talking about, and she didn’t have to worry that he thought something had been happening as he gave her a smile and tapped her cheek. “Otherwise I will come and kick his arse.”

“Visa versa.” Hermione answered with shaky grin. “You know I like my friends to write to me at least once every two weeks.” She’s teasing and hoping at the same time, but Zach just grinned and bumped his shoulder against her own.

“Oh?”

“And make sure they come to the first Hogsmeade visit they can once their internship lets them.” She added as he let out a laugh and let his eyes flicker over her face, like he was taking in everything he could between them.

“And what if he can’t but he can come on another day what is the other friend going to do?” Bright teeth gleam behind pink lips and Hermione laughed, leaning into him once again and fighting off the tears that threaten to spill.

“Let her worry about that, I’m sure she knows of a couple of ways out of the castle for such occasions.” She doesn’t mention that James has an invisibility cloak that she can steal.

“Then you’ve got yourself a deal.” He agreed as Hermione smiled, but the tears fall and his own smile turns sad as he opens his arms once again. “Come here.” He pulled her into them as Hermione let out a small sob, feeling a kiss to the top of her head.

“Hey Zach...erm...sorry but they’re getting the boats ready.” His friend stands there awkwardly, a tense smile on his face as he raises his hand to wave at Hermione.

“I’ll be there in a minute.” Zach spoke hoarsely, his friend doesn’t seem to need another minute before he’s taking off and leaving them there in the now empty courtyard with their own miserable situation and sadness.

Warm eyes look to her, his mouth opening to speak as Hermione’s gut clenches and she reaches out for his hand. “I’ll walk down with you.”

He doesn’t fight it, in fact he seems relieved – like the few minutes of walking together, of embracing the last part of their relationship will be easier than saying goodbye now. Hermione doesn’t bring it up, not as they walk down the path, hand clasped tightly and a million words rolling around in her head and threatening to break loose.

Another tear rolls down her cheek as they stop a few feet away from the small boats, the ones they had come to this school in, now barely big enough to fit two seventh years, let alone how many were stood around waiting.

Zach’s arms wrap around her waist, all but pulling her off the floor but making her close enough to press a kiss against his cheek and pull back to see his smile as he sets her on the ground.

“Look after yourself and remember to write.”

“At least one letter every two weeks.” He mumbled back in agreement, leaning down to place a kiss on her forehead and rub his hand down her arm. “Take care of yourself, Hermione.”

Hermione opens her mouth to agree, to say the same thing but no words come out, nothing more than a halfway point between a croak and a sob. Zach seems to understand as he nods his own head, runs his finger down the side of her face and turns away, towards his friends and away from her.

She doesn’t expect him to look back as he climbs into the boat, the water rocking around the wood, but he does and she can’t help but smile, even as he drifts away from her.

The decision settles in her stomach – a mixture of sadness and relief, sending chills down her spine and tears to her eyes.

…

“Where are you going?” Hermione stopped, turning her head to see Sirius stood beside the door to the train, arms crossed and body leaning against the wood. He had opened the small window and seemed to be having a cigarette.

His silver eyes seemed to be tracking her, though they lacked the warmth they usually did, instead framed by redness and dark circles under his eyes. Her head turned back to where her compartment was before she sighed and took a step forward with a small smile.

“I was in the bathroom, and I was just about to head back to the compartment but…”

“Don’t like the thought of being smothered to death?” He asked, half amused with a raised eyebrow as Hermione let out a chuckle.

“Honestly, no.” Hermione answered, leaning on the wall against him and resting her head to look at his. Most of his baby fat was starting to disappear, his cheekbones looking sharper with every passing day and the stubble on his chin becoming more pronounced. “I’m surprised James hasn’t come looking for me.” Hermione spoke, head turned towards the compartment as Sirius snorted.

For the first time in a while, it felt normal to be stood beside him. Like all the shit hadn’t happened and they were just two friends talking – she had missed him more than she wanted to admit.

“So why are you out here?”

“Needed some fresh air.” Was his answer, silver eyes looking away from her and back out of the window. The countryside becoming less and less as they got closer to London, and the sounds of students preparing to leave could be heard.

Hermione frowned, and nudged her arm against his. “Listen, I know things have been awkward lately, between us and other people, but we live together and -”

Her voice drifted to a whisper as Sirius turned to look at her, a kinder smile than normal on his face and a lingering air of sadness that made her throat want to close up. “I’m going home.”

Fear were a funny thing, you didn’t know you had them until you were face to face with them. Hermione hadn’t known that Sirius saying those words would make her blood run cold and her whole body tense with fear. “What?”

“Walburga wrote me a letter last month and -”

“So what?” Hermione asked, finding her voice and cutting him off as her vision started to blur. “No – no, you’re not going – and you don’t have to punish yourself.” Her words sounded harsh as she hissed them at him, moving to stand before him.

“It’s not -”

“My parents will protect you – I will protect you.”

“As talented as you are, I doubt a sixteen year old girl could do much.” Hermione frowned, opening her mouth to say she was more prepared and able than anyone else. “And I’m not putting your parents in that situation – not when all it takes is a claim that I’ve been kidnapped.” Her eyes snapped shut and her head began to shake.

“They wouldn’t – we could fight that – at least for a few more months until you are seventeen.” Hermione pleaded with his, reaching out to grab him hand and feeling the warm skin below, a few scratches on the knuckles and roughness on the palms.

“Stop trying to fix this.” He pleaded back, silver eyes meeting hers to trace the tear that slid from the corner. Merlin, she had cried so much today.

“No!” Hermione pulled back, furiously wiping away her tears, gulping as she carried on speaking. “This is not something I’m going to just agree with – I told you at Christmas what they would expect and -”

“And you were right – and it was a mistake for me to not go home then.” Sirius whispered back to her, hitting her with a verbal slap to the face that sent her reeling backwards and frowning at him.

“What?” Her voice wavered. “It wasn’t a mistake.”

“It was...one I was happy to make but...shit...I’ve made so many mistakes this year, towards everyone, but mainly you and Remus – and I owe you both so much, but I have my own family -”

“We are your family.”

“Yeah you are, but so is Regulus and you were right – I tried to call you out on it, tried to put you in my shoes but you and James are different, I don’t think there isn’t anything in the world you wouldn’t do for each other.” He wasn’t wrong, and he knew it with the soft smile he gave her. Her and James would run to the ends of the world for each other.

“The situation is different.” It was a weak protest and one she hadn’t wanted to make. Regulus didn’t deserve to be thrown in the deep end if she could keep Sirius from it, but he had already agreed to it

“But now it’s my turn – I have a little brother to protect, and I haven’t been doing a good job.” Once she would have cheered, told him how proud she was that he had realised that, but now it just made her heart sink lower.

“That is no reason to go home.” To leave her, to have her worrying – to wonder if this might be the last time she saw him. She had no way to prevent this. No way to keep Sirius safe like she had promised herself.

“It’s every reason and you know it.”

“Not if you end up dead – Regulus doesn’t want that – I don’t want that!”

“Well unfortunately for the both of you, you don’t get to decide.” Sirius answered back, his tongue running over his lip as he quickly looked out of the window .“And it’s not like I haven’t got a plan in case things go for bad to worse.” Hermione frowned, her mouth opening as she watched him reach for his trunk and bag.

She hadn’t even noticed he had them here instead of with everyone elses – he had been prepared to leave. To walk away from their friends who sat a few compartments away, he hadn’t even wanted to say goodbye.

The train pulled to a stop, the whistle blowing and the doors opening as it finally registered what he had said. “A plan? Sirius -”

“I know but I just need you to trust me.” His silver eyes lingered on her own for a second, looking down to her lips and then back to her eyes. His wand moved, shrinking his trunk so he could put it into his pocket and then he was turning.

“Trust you? You want me to -” Her words cut off as he stepped off the train, students following after him and separating them. Hermione pushed forward, hoping her friends had the sense to grav her things as she chased after the boy. “Sirius!”

If he heard then he didn’t stop, nor look back, his shoulders tense. Students watched as she pushed her way through the crowd, catching sight of a pair of warm brown eyes that nearly made her stop and say bye one last time, but Sirius…

He needed her now and she wasn’t going to let him go without a fight. Her hand reached for his wrist, pulling him back into a stop as he half turned towards her.

Pushing through the crowds of people, she follows after him, reaching for his arm to stop him.

“Hermione…”

“There is no plan that is going to get you out of this.” Hermione hissed, pulling herself closer and in front of him, their toes practically touching. His hands reached out to steady her as students bumped past, faltering her for a second before she continued. “Just turn around and…”

“What is going on here?” Both heads turned to see Regulus looking at them, a mixture between amused and concerned – Hermione could see why, they were stood far too close and intimately, yet frowns remained on their faces.

“Your brother is about to become a martyr.” Hermione supplied, looking back into those silver eyes. They didn’t twinkle like usual, didn’t offer any amusement or even lust at the situation but remained as hard as the stone they stood on.

“Sirius – no – what the fuck are you doing?”

“Saving your arse little brother – you can thank me later.”

“How about I thank you now for going with Hermione and saving us all the hassle?” Regulus hissed, moving to stand next to them. “I know you think you’re doing the right thing but -”

“Reg, I’ve been shit, I know that but I’m not letting you walk into this alone.” Sirius turned to look at Regulus, his hands still on Hermione’s hips like he wasn’t even thinking about it, a small smile on his face as Regulus gulped.

“And I’m not letting you do this for me.” Regulus hissed back, eyes slightly watery, he quickly shifted to look at Hermione who looked back just as lost. This wasn’t the plan.

“Seems you don’t have a choice…Walburga, Orion – how fairs thee these days?” Sirius spoke suddenly, letting go of Hermione and putting some space between them.

Hermione turned slowly, staring up at the Black’s, their eyes cold and their postures rigid. They hadn’t changed too much, maybe some slight greys in their hair, but everything else remained her of a youth she had wanted to forget about.

“Sirius. We are pleased to see that you have come to your senses – and is Miss Potter joining us?” Walburga hissed out, less shouty than her hostile painting had ever been but the crazy eyes just the same as she lingered on Hermione, her hand all but reaching out to grab the girl.

“No!” Sirius shouted, his parents turning to look at him as he took a step before Hermione, all but pushing her back into Regulus. “No, she was just saying goodbye.” A small laugh and a relaxed posture that had Hermione glaring at the back of his head.

“Shame...how nice it would be to have the girl embracing her true family.”

“I think I would rather light myself on fire.” Hermione quipped back, her glare turning to focus on Orion and his sharp features, that his sons had.

“Why you -”

“Mother – leave her be – she does not know what she is talking about, right Hermione?” Sirius snapped, turning his head slightly to look at her as Walburga seethed and Orion sneered at her. Her stomach turned and her eyes snapped away – for a second she could see Octans in both these adults.

“Right.” She whispered, a hand moving to grip the back of Sirius’ Pink Floyd shirt as though she could hold him there with her.

“We better get going, it seems we are attracting some attention.” His hand moved behind, unclenching her hand, squeezing the pale fingers quickly and then resting at his side.

“Or perhaps -”

“No your brother is right, Regulus, we shall be on our way.” Walburga snapped, one last look towards Hermione as she and Orion turned, their old fashioned clothes standing out as she inclined her head towards her sons. “Come along now.”

“Sirius, please.” Hermione begged as he turned around one last time, her hands reaching for him but every part of him seemed to be out of reach.

Silver eyes flashed beautifully before her, a hand coming up to stroke her cheek softly. “I’ll see you later – take care.” She expected a quick hug, but instead he leaned down, placing a gentle kiss at the corner of her lips, leaving her distracted enough for him to walk away.

“Regulus -”

“I’ll write to you soon – we’ll get him out Hermione.” Regulus whispered to her as she turned to face him, his hand moving to rest on her arm with a soft smile.

“Regulus!” Walburga shouted in the distance, Regulus tensing for a moment before he smiled again.

“Coming...I promise.”

Hermione watched him go, chasing after the brother who was trying his best not to look back and parents who walked looking down at everyone else. Her throat clenched as they blinked out of view, a last glance at silver eyes and a confident smile.

No one else seemed to care, families and students weaving around her without a second glance. To emersed in their joy to see as the walls she had so carefully built began to crack for the second time today, and the wave of tears hit her cheeks before she could even stop them.

She was supposed to change things.

Hermione Granger had been sent back to change the future and so far all she had done was get rid of Peter, but now Sirius was with his family – and she couldn’t predict how it would go.

Once she had heard him mention to Harry that he ran away, came to the Potter’s, but that was before when he thought his brother hated him, when he didn’t have a choice. Now he was choosing to go back, to leave her with the worry that he could end up getting killed, marked or get out – and the last option was looking less than likely.

A pair of arms circled around her, the smell of brooms and something comforting, meant that she didn’t have to turn around to see who it was, not even as the soft voice whispered in her ear, words nothing more than a simple buzzing she couldn’t understand.

“We need to get him back.” Hermione hissed, finally turning around to see James as he frowned at her. Her own eyes flickered to where her parents, her friends and their parents all waited. Marlene basically fighting with her family and pointing to Hermione. No doubt they wanted to hear what happened before they went home.

“And we will.” James whispered back, turning his head to quickly look over his shoulder before looking back with a steely gaze. “Whatever it takes – we’ll get him back home.”

Chapter Text

Friday the 25^th of June 1976

They lacked a plan.

Two underage wizards without the ability to get to Sirius, without people to back them up and two parents who seem to be keeping more of a watchful eye on them.

Fleamont seemed to understand, promising to keep his ear out and to see if he will be able to do anything but they all know it’s a dead end unless the Black’s fully admit what their plans are and what their treatment of Sirius might be – and even then, it would be a long shot to go against the great standing House of Black for a known problematic heir.

Euphemia watched them everywhere they went, limiting their interactions outside the house unless someone could go with them, but things were difficult. Ted was being watched at work and with the war stepping up Andy was scared to leave her own house – which left them more often than not trapped inside a house with nothing to do.

Except read the papers which made her stomach turn as the list of people being tortured or murdered grew stronger. As the passing of the law, the one for Octans, seemed to be getting discussed every day. Hermione knows it will only be a matter of time before the idiot minister lets him out.

She tries not to dwell on it, James said it left her too depressed, but the truth is there seems like a list of things to weigh her down that don’t involve her biological murdering father.

A part of her aches for Zach, for what they had built, she missed him – missed being able to chat, but the rest of her aches for Sirius – to make sure he’s safe – to run into Grimmauld Place and get him out, though she knows it wouldn’t be safe for her to do.

Instead, she owls Lily, Marlene and Remus, and then laid on her bed staring up at her ceiling while petting Crookshanks head as he laid on her stomach.

“Any ideas?” It’s become a daily thing, her brother bursting into her room, diving onto the bed and laying beside her.

“None. You?”

“Other than getting into the house and getting him out, no.” James supplied, his same suggestion for the past week – one that he was very adamant on doing, until he learnt that he wouldn’t be able to see the house, let alone get in.

“Yeah, me either, but I don’t like my chances on that one.” Hermione reminded him with a raised eyebrow as he let out a sigh and she glared at the ceiling. “We don’t know how many people might be there or even if he will be…”

“Where else could he be?” James asked as Hermione ran over the rollerdex of different family members and their manors in her mind.

“Anywhere – hopefully Regulus will let me know soon and then we can figure something out.”

“And you trust him?”

“With this, yes.” Hermione answered surely, turning her head to face her brother as he gave a stern nod. It was the truth at least, Regulus wanted his brother out of the house as much as Hermione did – and while she might know the future path Regulus could walk down, she couldn’t be certain that this would be the same.

Not now at least.

“I heard mum and dad talking again.” James spoke quietly, as though their parents lingered outside the door. Hermione sighed, moving Crookshanks off her stomach to fully turn onto her side so she could face her brother.

“Which were they debating this time?” His head turned to face her, his finger pushing against the space between her eyebrows to stop her frown.

“Illvermorny.” He spoke softly as Hermione let out a sigh and turned onto her back. “Mum said Beauxbatons was still too close to everything that is happening here.” Just over the water...a place where the problems of Britain would still reach ears and influence people.

“At least in France I’ll be able to speak the language.” Hermione joked but her eyes filled up with tears. France is a reminder of her mother, of a woman murdered, of half of her heritage she hadn’t been to in so long.

“Good for you – in case you’ve forgotten my French is limited to swearing.” A laugh broke through her trauma, her head turning to see James pouting at Crookshanks as the cat kneads its way into his arms.

“I never should have taught you those words.” Hermione admitted with a nod of her head. “Your understanding is good enough.”

“Probably not good enough for school.” She had to agree there, she doubted he will be able to get very far with his limited French and lack of attention. “But I don’t think we’ll have to worry about that.” He added after a second.

“Dad still not agreeing?”

“He doesn’t think sending us away is going to stop us getting involved, in fact he’s convinced that you’ll bring us back the moment you turn seventeen.” She can almost see it now, a couple of weeks in a new school, her birthday arriving and her pulling James away and back to England.

“Hm…”

“Which he’s not wrong – neither of us are just going to walk away, not when we’ve got so much here.” James let out a sigh, his eyes closing and his throat seeming to grow tighter. “And a friend we need to save.”

“We won’t leave, mum knows that – she’s just scared and within reason.” It’s a sign of the times, when parents act without thinking, doing what they think is best or trying to. “And we will save him, but we need to figure it out first.” Hermione added after second thought, reaching out to grip James’ hand as tightly as she can.

“I know.” James whispered back before he smiled. “And I still vote we just go there and grab him.”

“You can’t even get in the house.”

“You can – what with being part Black and all.”

“Diluted and my last name is Potter.” Her voice was dry as she spoke, eyes narrowing. It was not something she liked to be reminded of, especially not from James – not when she most days can forget that biologically they weren’t siblings.

“Semantics.” James muttered under his breath, waving his other hand.

“Jamie, I love you, but are you stupid?”

“That’s rude.”

“Do you honestly think I can just turn up in London, walk into the house, grab Sirius and get back out?” Hermione asked, raising her eyebrows as James opened his mouth and tilted his head to the side, an answer without so many words. “You put too much faith in my abilities if you think I can do that.” She whispered but her heart warms, nonetheless.

James had never lacked trust or faith in her, he came to her when things needed fixing and looked to her for answers. And she so wanted to be that person for him, be someone he could depend on but it hurt sometimes to know it might go wrong.

To know that she could fuck this up and she would be right back to where she started, that Harry would grow up without a father or would cease to exist altogether.

“I know – and I wouldn’t ever risk your life like that.” James spoke lowly, unaware of the tears that filled her eyes as she moved to rest her head on his shoulder. “I just wish he would write back, let us know that he’s alright or what his plan is.” Her arms circled around his own before moving back to grip his hand.

“Me too.” Hermione whispered, blinking out another tear. “But I have no doubt that Sirius would be able to get out if he put his mind to it.”

“Yeah, he I’ve seen the creative ways he gets out of the castle...I bet he could break out of Azkaban if he tried.” James spoke with a laugh, the smile falling off his face as he turned to look down at Hermione who had pulled back to stare at him in shock. “What?

There was no way he knew what he had said or what it could even mean, it was just a joke but it sprung something to life inside her.

An image of an older Sirius, hair longer than her own, skinny and wasting away, refusing to give in and instead standing strong like a force to be reckoned with. Like an Angel of Death that came for revenge of his friends, that looked at his Godson and saw the best and worst things he could; his dead best friend, his dead brother.

Hermione Granger had watched him with careful eyes, even as he cleaned up – looking startling handsome despite everything. His temper had set her back, made her wary – his treatment and bitter regard for the world, for the house he was locked inside had been cruel and she hadn’t understood then.

She did now. Sixteen year old Sirius was stuck in that house, and she was once again unaware of what was happening to him outside the horrible images of her mind.

“Nothing.” Hermione whispered, a second too late as James frowned at her before she put a smile on her face and wiped away her watery eyes. “It just seems exactly like the sort of thing Sirius would do.”

…

Wednesday the 30^th of June 1976

“Mum…if you would just listen…”

“James, I have been listening – for the past few days and the answer is no.”

“Why?”

“What?”

Hermione gritted her teeth as she sat in the sitting room, frowning down at the pile of return letters on their coffee table. Not a single one of them looked opened, the wax Potter seal remained unbroken and the parchment still crisp to touch.

He was either ignoring them or wasn’t getting their letters at all which could mean something was wrong.

“I get it, the outside is going to shit right now but us being trapped in here is not going to make a difference – it’s only going to make us resent the fact that our mother refused to let us live our lives.” James’ voice rose as he followed after his mother into the sitting room, barely blinking as Hermione picked up another letter.

“So what? Would you like me to send you out to war? Would you like to add to the worry that I already have about your father?” Their mother cried, hazel eyes blazing and tawny hands waving in the air before they landed on her hips.

“No of course not, I’m just asking to get out the house – I’d even be happy with going to see Remus or Andy.” James pleaded, taking a step closer to his mother and looking so much like a little boy despite the fact that he stood taller than the woman.

“Remus’ family have enough problems without adding you and Hermione to the mix and Andy...well Andromeda has things going on.” Euphemia claimed, James blinked and Hermione dropped the letter she was holding to the floor to look at her mother.

“What’s wrong with Andromeda?”

“There’s nothing wrong.” Their mother turned, slightly surprised, to look at Hermione, a sigh falling from her lips.

“Then why wouldn’t you let us go – what aren’t you telling us?” James asked, frowning and looking towards the floo like he was half tempted to jump into it and find out himself. “Is this about Ted? Is he still being followed?” Euphemia’s lips pursed and a deep breath came out.

“Mum?” Hermione asked carefully, placing her hands on her lap. “What’s happening?”

“Nothing more than usual – I just don’t want the pair of you bothering Andromeda right now.” Hermione and James looked to one another with a frown, their mothers lie hanging over them like a cloud. “Which brings me to my next statement – your father and I have been talking and we think it would be a good idea to -”

“We’re not going.” James cut her off before she could finish, a stern look that made him seem even more like their father shocking the girls.

“Excuse me?”

“Wherever it is you think you should send us, we are not going.”

“James, you have to understand -”

“And I don’t see why you are saying dads involved in this like he hasn’t been against it since the moment you brought it up.” James spat out, his frown deepening as Euphemia placed her hands on her hips again with a glare.

“Have you been listening to your father and I’s conversations?” Her sharp eyes looked between her children as Hermione’s mouth turned down and James shrugged his shoulders.

“The walls are thin.” James explained shortly, continuing on before his mother could speak and try to plead her case. “But that’s beside the point, we aren’t going to Illvermorny or Beauxbatons or Uagadou -”

“And what if this war continues to grow worse? I will not have my children dragged into something when I can make sure they avoid it.” Euphemia cried, eyes filling up with tears, her steps taking her backwards to sit on the sofa.

Hermione looked down, guilt filling her up and her eyes drifting towards the letter with a small frown. There at the corner was writing so small it was almost impossible to see, even as she picked up the parchment to look.

Meet me here. At 10pm tonight. R.A.B

An address followed underneath and a small smile took over her face, even as her stomach turned at the familiar signature. This was the letter that had been delivered today. Her mouth opened to tell James, but his own eyes remained focused on their mother as she carried on speaking about sending them away or protecting them.

“It wouldn’t matter anyway.” Hermione spoke, cutting off Euphemia, the letter still gripped in her hand as she turned to face the woman. “You know I am grateful for everything you have done for me, and that I love you and dad, but sending us away isn’t going to make us stay away from this war.” Her tone was slightly harsher than it should have been.

“Hermione -”

“We have people we want to protect, lives that mean something to us – how could we just walk away from that?” Hermione asked but Euphemia didn’t answer, her eyes filling with tears. “If we stand by and don’t even try to help then that doesn’t make us any better than the people we are supposed to be fighting against.”

“We know it’s hard for you to accept, and we know you want to protect us – but you taught us to fight for what’s right, to fight for what we love and you sending us away won’t change that.” James added, rubbing a hand through his hair.

Euphemia sniffed, a hand coming up delicately to wipe away her tears as her children stared at her. “I would be lying if I said I wasn’t worried, if it didn’t feel like I was about to send my children into a war -”

“We aren’t saying we will go and fight now.”

“ - and I won’t lie and say if you stay here then you won’t fight. Things are getting worse everyday. But you’re right, and I know both of you are going to do what you think is best and I can’t fight with that – but all I ask is that you don’t run into something without being prepared and that you don’t get yourselves involved in this until you finish school.” The siblings nodded as Euphemia nodded back, her eyes still watering.

Hermione took in a deep breath, her eyes drifting to James and his crossed fingers behind his back as she gripped the note from Regulus in her own hands and avoided her mothers eyes.

…

There was something beautiful about the summer sun. The colours spreading through the sky and casting the illusion of a late afternoon sky, despite the fact that the night was on it’s way and the streets remained empty but for a few people heading home.

Hermione stayed quiet, an ounce of panic and awareness flooding her senses as she tried to blend in with the Muggles, her jeans and simple top a couple of years old and her hair plaited on her head, which she kept down as she walked towards the location, a small park between a few trees that definitely didn’t give off the impression of where Muggle teenagers went to drink and smoke.

She wished she had kept Poppy with her, the elf had offered when she dropped her a few minutes away from the location but Hermione had insisted that she would be fine. That she could walk and meet Regulus without someone watching her.

“Boo.” A small squeal left her mouth as she turned to see a pair of bright eyes and black waves around a young pale face.

“Fuck you.”

“Glad to see you got my message.”

“And we couldn’t have just met somewhere – I don’t know...more public.” Hermione frowned as her eyes followed him, a frown resting on her face as she tried to avoid stepping in some dark puddle that didn’t exactly look like water.

“Public means more ears and we can’t have that.” Regulus spoke softly, sitting himself down on a defaced swing, his legs resting gently on the floor as Hermione stood before him.

“We could go somewhere which seems a little less...rundown.” It was a suggestion, one that came as she looked at the rusting monkey bars and broken slide. How did one even break a slide?

“Wizards are less likely to come across this place and we have means of protecting ourselves against the Muggles who might.” Bright eyes dulled slightly as they looked at the surrounding trees, the tip of his wand poking out of his...fringed brown jacket?

A small smile made its way to her face as she took in his clothes, muggle and not in a good way. He couldn’t have stood out more unless he had a neon sign above his head.

His jeans seemed to have been taken from a woman and were green, of course, and his top was obviously stolen from Sirius, and Hermione doubted Regulus had any idea who Black Sabbath was, but it made Hermione smile nonetheless, even as Regulus turned to look at her.

“Does Sirius know you stole that?” Hermione asked, sitting beside him on the other swing and pointing to his top. Regulus frowned, looking down and shrugging his shoulders, all amusement fading from them. “How is he?” Hermione whispered as Regulus sighed.

“Well let’s just say they haven’t broken his spirit.” Regulus remarked dryly as Hermione tensed, a deep sigh leaving her mouth. “Doesn’t matter what they try and do, he’s still the same stubborn arsehole whose lucky he hasn’t been stabbed.” There was something else though, something Regulus wasn’t saying and Hermione didn’t think he needed to – it hung in the air between them.

A sniff left her as she faced forward. “How long?”

“How long what?”

“How long until they have enough – how long until they force him to be marked – how long until we get him out of there like you promised me?” Hermione snapped, her whole body shaking as she pushed away from the swing, the metal hitting the posts and ringing around them.

Regulus stared at her in shock, his body stilling from the small swinging he had been doing as she ran her hands through her hair, pulling on a few curls and wincing at the pain.

Her whole body felt like it was ready to pounce, to drag Regulus back to his house and see everything through like James had originally suggested. Her heart ached at the thought of Sirius laid there, in pain, trapped in his own house.

Like a lion she paced before Regulus, narrowing her eyes and all but growling her words at him. “You promised me he would be out of there.”

“And you promised me he wouldn’t even be there in the first place.” Hermione winced, even lions flinch at the fangs of venomous snakes. “Guess you let that whole Lupin thing get the better of you.” Hermione blinked at the younger boy as he shook his head. “Don’t look so surprised, anyone with half a brain and eyes could figure it out.”

“How – this has nothing to do with Remus.” Hermione denied adamantly, shaking her head and stopping her pacing to glare back at the boy.

“So you didn’t fall out because Sirius told Snape where Remus turned and all but outed his friend and nearly got someone killed?” Regulus asked smugly, raising another eyebrow and smirking at her as she simply blinked at him.

“I – part of it but there is more to it than that.”

“My brother’s a dick, he’s done some shit, but you weren’t supposed to let that get in the way – you weren’t supposed to let him think he has to come home!” Suddenly Regulus was standing, stalking towards her and looking down, taller than he was a few weeks ago and more intimidating too, more Black than little boy.

“Are you blaming this on me?” Hermione asked, her own anger getting the better of her as she shoved him backwards. “I don’t control Sirius, despite everything that’s happened, he makes his own choices.” She added, pointing at him and narrowing her eyes.

“Right.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Hermione asked as Regulus scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“It means that my brother would jump off a cliff if you asked him too.” Hermione knew what was implied but words wouldn’t come and Regulus seemed to take that as an opportunity to speak more. “That he’s so fucking amored by you – that you simply asking him to go home with you would have -”

“But he didn’t did he!” Hermione snapped, her voice raising and her arms flinging into the air. “Clearly you are overestimating his feelings, because I asked – I begged him to stay with me and he didn’t.” It felt weak to say and she could almost see Sirius in Regulus stood before her. “Whatever you think he feels for me doesn’t compare to what he’s trying to do for you.”

She didn’t add anything more. There was nothing more to say.

Regulus would never understand what it meant to be the older siblings, to feel the care and need to protect that came when a younger sibling came into question. How despite drama, hatred or problems, you would risk your life for them – put them first, try and make their life a little less hard even if it meant having to do something you didn’t want to.

But Regulus could understand the need to protect. He understood it now as his eyes flashed with fire and his mouth turned into a sneer.

“I don’t want him to do anything for me!” He snapped, sounding much more like a petulant child about to have a tantrum. “I made this choice – he doesn’t get to come and screw that up because of some brother love he apparently has!”

“Neither of you have to do this – what is it with the pair of you being so bloody sacrificial?” Hermione asked, not waiting for an answer. “How about both of you get the fuck out of there?”

“You know it’s not that easy.” Regulus sighed softly, sitting back on the swing and letting out a breath. “My parents aren’t going to be happy if they lose their heir, but then take away their spare as well and suddenly you’ll have all of the Black family on your back.” She knew this but it didn’t make it any easier.

“So why does that person that stays behind have to be you?”

“Would you rather it be Sirius?” His eyes turned to her as she sat back beside him, her mouth opening and closing, even as a small smile took over his face. “Sirius is the heir because he’s the oldest, but he’s the mistake they can’t deal with – I’m the heir that listens and keeps myself quiet – if one of us has to go, who do you think they will make less fuss over?”

Her and Regulus weren’t close, but it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt less to watch a child surrender to the orders of his family, to take over the responsibility so his brother could walk away and live his life.

A sacrifice that he could deal with because he had been preparing for it the moment Sirius went to school, and he had done it without resentment, without expectation and trying to make sure his brother wouldn’t come back. Perhaps some could look at it as Regulus reaching for power, but Hermione saw it as doing what he could to protect his family.

“So here’s what we are going to do.” Regulus began after a second as Hermione looked at him. “We are going to get my brother out of that house.”

“How?” Hermione asked with a small laugh and a shrug of her shoulders. “It’s not like I can just walk in -”

“Let me worry about that – I’ll send another message when it’s time, you just make sure that Potter keeps writing and keep a look out.” Regulus spoke, the order falling from his lips without second thought. “Then get your elf to bring you to outside of Grimmauld Place and we’ll go from there.” It wasn’t a plan, more like a loose idea that ran along the same line as her own – except with a man inside.

There was no grantee it would work, no certainty that Regulus would be able to make sure it was safe for her to get inside.

“Why don’t you just get him out and bring him to Godric’s Hollow?” Hermione asked suddenly, eyes flashing as she stared at him. “Why do I have to get him and how do I know this is not a trap?” He flinched as he glared back.

“One; Even I’m not that cruel that I would lure you into my house for my family.” His jaw tensed and his eyes flashed like his brothers, defensive and angry. “And two; don’t you think I’ve tried but I can’t apparate and my elf has been given strict orders to remain away from Sirius’ room and to not take him anywhere – I couldn’t even get him to listen to me.” Hermione flinched, thinking of Kreacher – the elf who had loved Regulus to the end.

“Then how did you -”

“I didn’t tell him I was meeting you to conspire – he thinks I’m meeting so fellow Slytherins about some things.” Regulus spoke with an eye roll, lips turning into a hard smile that had Hermione frowning.

“He thinks your meeting Deatheaters.” Regulus flinched at the word but nodded his head, standing up and turning to look at her with cold amusement.

“Better to be safe than sorry.” Better to have a lie in case Kreacher spilled or his parents found out. Hermione nodded her head, staying on her seat on the swing as Regulus looked around, stretching out his arms and letting out a little sigh. “Just wait for my message.”

Hermione frowned as he turned and began to walk away, a small scoff leaving her mouth that had his slowing slightly. “Is that how you say goodbye?” She asked, standing up and crossing her arms as he frowned at her. “Merlin, I hope you didn’t do the same to Marlene.” A grin takes over her face as she leans a bit closer to watch his cheeks turn pink.

“Wait – what – how -”

A small laugh leaves her mouth as she turns away, heading back the way she came but not before shouting over her shoulder. “Goodnight Reggie.”

Chapter Text

• A WARNING for this chapter; It does contain references to abuse, that of child abuse but it is only references and not explained. But for some people who might find that a trigger, perhaps it would be best to read with caution or even miss this chapter. It is not too graphic but I know how some people can feel.

Friday the 2^nd of July 1976 

“You spoke to Regulus?”

“Yes.”

“And he’s helping you get Sirius out of his house?”

“Yes.”

“What is happening?” Lily asked as Hermione frowned at the four people in her room, the four people she had called here to tell the mildly good news to. That they might be getting Sirius back soon. But instead they all looked back at her like they had no clue what she was saying.

All except Marlene whose icy eyes seemed colder and her face turned sour – it was quick and gone the moment Hermione looked over at her, hid behind a mask of indifference that she was sure no one would believe if it was brought to their attention.

“Regulus wants to get Sirius out of his house and so do we, have you not been paying attention?” Hermione snapped, turning back to look at Lily who was staring at her and waiting for an explanation.

“Don’t be rude.” Lily snapped back as Hermione shifted and frowned.

She wasn’t trying to be rude, not intentionally, but they didn’t seem to grasp how important this situation was – how important getting Sirius back was for all of them – for her.

“I didn’t know you were in contact with him.” The mask slipped on Marlene’s face again, just for a split second, but enough for Hermione to question once again what was happening between her best friend and Regulus.

“None of us did.” James commented, leaning back on her back and sending a piercing glare at her.

“Well sometimes not all us are honest about speaking to him.” Hermione spoke softly but her eyes found Marlene’s once again, a glare meeting her own that had Lily letting out a sigh and her own curious glance at their golden haired friend.

“And you shouldn’t have gone alone.” James spoke once more, seemingly ignoring the tension that littered between the girls and sullied their moods. “We don’t even know if we can trust him.” His hands spread before him and his eyebrows raised.

Marlene turned to look at him sharply, her voice just short of coming off cold. “Why can’t we trust him?”

“Because he’s Sirius’ Slytherin brother who wants to join the Deatheaters.” Remus answered as though it was obvious – and maybe it was to the boys who spent their time listening to Sirius complain about his brother. “And who seems eager to get Hermione alone.” Light green eyes looked at her, flashing with gold and full of concern.

“Which is why I’ll be going with her when the time comes.” Fuck no.

“And me.”

“Me too.”

Hermione turned to look at James, Lily and Remus – their faces set. She wanted to bring up many points – that technically James and Sirius were still at slight odds and that she was pretty sure that Lily still hated Sirius for what he had done but the words failed her.

Instead Marlene was looking at them all with wide eyes and shaking her head. “What are you -”

“None of you are coming.” Hermione cut her off before she could get there, before she could question what they were thinking or make excuses about why she wouldn’t be able to get there. “Just me.”

“Why do you get to be the hero?” James whined like a baby.

“Hero?” Hermione asked, a small smile making it’s way onto her face as James nodded his head and pouted at her. “None of you can even get in the house!” She added with a wave of her hands, her voice raising slightly and her head turning to look at her door like her mother, father or Poppy would burst in.

“Then tell us how!”

“No!” Hermione cried, shaking her head at her brother and pointing a finger at him. “And even if I wanted to, which I don’t, I actually can’t.” Her hands balled into fists and her jaw tensed.

“Then tell Regulus to let us in!” Lily exclaimed, throwing her hands into the air and smirking smugly like she had figured something out.

“You are not coming!” Hermione shouted back, her eyes narrowing at the redhead who actually looked hurt that Hermione was trying to keep her out of this.

“Hermione that’s…”

“It’s a risk for me to go in, but I can get in – let alone adding a Bloodtraitor, a Muggleborn and a Werewolf to the mix – we might as well throw the Black’s a party and let them lock us up with Sirius.” Hermione cried dramatically pointing between the two sat on her floor, matching frowns on their faces but they understood.

This wasn’t the place where she would be risking her friends – not when things were so easy to go wrong, but if she could focus on herself and then Sirius it would be slightly easier.

“Doesn't matter, I'm going!”

“I swear to Merlin, Jamie…”

“What?” James asked, not put out as she took a menacing step towards him. “I am not letting you go there alone, not when you are a bigger Bloodtraitor than I am, not to mention an actual member of their family who they would be happy to get their hands on." She refused to give his points reason, that it was just as dangerous for her as it was for them.

“How many times do I have to say that you can’t get into the house?” Hermione tried again, all but pleading with her brother to stay behind and let her handle this.

“Then I’ll wait outside with Poppy.” His tone was suddenly gentle as he stood up from the bed and before her, hands on her shoulders and a smile all to similar to the one his son and their father wore. “You’re not fighting me on this, your my sister and he’s my best friend – it’s happening.”

…

Tuesday the 20^th of July. Be here at 11am. R.A.B

Hermione sighed as she clutched the returned letter, Regulus’ words on the side, small and neat but there for her to read. It was happening, within the next hour, and she couldn’t stop the grin that took over her face at the thought of their dangerous and yet exciting rescue mission.

It couldn’t have fallen at a better time, in Hermione’s opinion, she was sure the others wouldn’t think the same. But Remus was still at home recovering after the moon two days ago and wouldn’t be back until the end of the week, Marlene’s ability to sneak over was becoming more and more challenging the closer her brother’s wedding got and Lily – well Lily was stood in front of her with a glare.

Fuck.

“Good morning – when did you get here? How did you get here?” Hermione asked as she tucked the letter into the pocket of her jeans and tried her best to casually smile at her friend.

“Your mum picked me up like we agreed. Was that a letter from Regulus?”

“Nope.” Hermione spoke through her teeth, a frown on her face as Lily raised her eyebrows and opened her mouth to speak. She swatted away James’ hand as he tried to reach for the letter, appearing behind her quietly, but clearly not quiet enough. “Fine – but no – neither of you are coming.”

“I thought we agreed I was, and she wasn’t?” James asked, raising an eyebrow as Lily looked between them both with a glare, her tongue on the back of her teeth.

“If he’s going then I am to-”

“No.” Hermione and James spoke at the same time as Lily actually stomped her foot against the floor, her hands clenching at her sides and her eyes bright with anger.

Hermione let out a sigh, moving forward – thinking of all the times when Hermione Granger had thought being a Muggleborn had hindered her progression, made people think less of her. Her hand reached to hold Lily’s shoulder. “We aren’t doubting your ability to take care of yourself, but walking into or around the Black house isn’t safe and they aren’t known to be stable, nor look too kindly on people they consider lower than themselves.”

“But -”

“Lily, they won’t hesitate to torture or even kill you if they want, and I am not putting you in that position so no – you aren’t coming.” Hermione explained, softer than before as she thought of Bellatrix and what the woman would do to someone like Lily...like Hermione Granger. It was something Hermione was never going to let happen.

“Then what do I do?” Lily asked with a whisper, her eyes looking back to the open door she had come through and not closed in her rush to see Hermione.

“Wait here, try not to let my mum into what’s happening and cross your fingers that I...we come back.” Hermione said with a smile, crossing her fingers in front of her face as Lily just shook her head and closed her emerald eyes. “We’ll be fine Lily.”

“We’ll see.”

Hermione didn’t answer back as the redhead moved to sit on the stairs, twirling her wand in her fingers and pouting down at the floor. It eased Hermione to know she wasn’t coming, that she can keep one friend safe, but it was also what had her turning to glare at her brother.

“Are you ready to go?” James asked with a grin, practically bouncing on his toes as Hermione opened up her mouth to speak. “Poppy!” The elf appeared, running from the kitchen and frowning up at the children. “We need you to take us to Grimmauld Place, Islington.”

Hermione opened her mouth to stop the elf, to push her brother away but she knew James had always been Poppy’s favourite – that she didn’t question where her young master was going like she did with Hermione.

Instead, she frowned, closing her eyes as the elf reached for her hand, a loud crack echoing around them and the familiar tug of being apparated and pulled through a long tube sickened her stomach and made her worry about how she might fair when she was eventually allowed to do this herself.

The landing made her want to vomit, but that sickness was nothing compared to the one she got as she looked at Number 12 Grimmauld Place that stood before her like an overwhelming troll. Her stomach turned as she let go of Poppy’s hand and turned to face her before, preparing herself to send the pair of them home but James was looking around, half sticking out a bush and taking in the Muggles that seem unaware of the two teenagers that came out of nowhere.

“Cool.” He whispered, turning to look at the houses and frowning. “Poppy, I order you to go home and wait for my call to pick us up – oh and don’t say anything to mum.”

“Of course, Master James.” Despite Poppy being a free elf, one that was paid and wore clothes, it still hurt to watch her curtsy to James - the Granger and her S.P.E.W brain running wild at the thought of Poppy not living her own life and still living to serve them. Yet she said nothing as the elf spun on the spot and with a loud crack disappeared from view, leaving the siblings alone and without their one way of getting back home.

Hermione tried not to think about it as her and James ducked out from behind the bushes, surprising a couple as they ran by, their eyes turning wide and their heads moving to shake in disagreement - something she wasn't going to think about unless she actually wanted to be sick. 

"What are they doing?” His hazel eyes followed them, a frown on his face.

Hermione rolled her eyes and moved to the shade, half hiding behind a car in case anyone from the house came out and they were seen. “Jogging – what are – get over here.” Hermione hissed, pulling her brother with her and staring at the house.

“But why are they wearing...well that?” He pointed to the tight vested and hot panted people, his eyes more curious but more so lingering over the woman’s behind in a way that had Hermione half tempted to slap his head.

“Fashion...which is not the point – James we are here for something else...something that you are going to find very hard to complete if you keep staring at women instead of trying to come up with a way for you to see the house.” Hermione snapped as she gestured towards the houses, where James frowned, and his eyes moved between 11 and 13 with a frown.

“This sucks.”

“I wasn’t aware I told you to bring boy Potter.” The siblings turned to see Regulus stood before them, having missed his exiting of the house but apparently, they were visible enough for him to locate them.

“Well I’m here so get over it, Black.” James said with a grin, standing up straight and staring down at Regulus, who had grown a bit over the summer, but still had nothing on her long limbed brother – who was actually the shortest of his friends.

Regulus actually looked amused, raising an arched brow and nodding his head before turning to Hermione. “Next time listen.”

“Hopefully there won’t be a next time.” Hermione answered back with a sweet smile before turning to face the house with a glare. “Now are we doing this or not?” She asked, sending a sharp glare to Regulus who nodded his head.

“We’ve got maybe an hour before mother and the family get back – they um...he needs to be gone before tonight.” Hermione stiffened as she heard the words Regulus didn’t say, his face twisting in guilt and something else. They were going to try and mark him tonight.

“Then let’s go.”

“Wait...how am I getting in?”

“You’re not.” Hermione bit back at her brother as he followed them up the path slightly, a frown on his face. “Put on your cloak out and wait here.” She ordered but he continued following them up the path, a frown on his face.

“No – I told you I’m coming, don’t try and sideline me!” He snapped as Hermione stopped to glare at him, keeping her mouth shut as some Muggles walked by.

“I’m not but we don’t have time for this and you can’t even get in the house so just -”

“Oh for fucks sake…” Regulus whispered out, reaching forward to grab James’ hand and pull him forward. Her brother didn’t blink but allowed himself to be dragged forward as Hermione followed behind them with wide eyes. “Welcome to Number 12 Grimmauld Place.”

“I know what’s there but…” James stopped now stood before the house with a confused stare, turning to look at Hermione. “I don’t understand...is this the fidelus charm...are you a secret keeper?”

“No.” Regulus answered with another amused look, shaking his head and releasing James’ hand. “My mother lives a very sociable life – if she died it would mean an entire social group becomes secret keeper to her house – which she couldn’t stand.” Hermione frowned, in the future the house had had the charm, though that must have been more protection for the order.

“So how -”

“How do you protect Potter Manor?” Regulus asked as he led them up the stairs, seeming more nervous than before. “Wards, a Muggle repelling charm – perhaps a notice-me-not, no doubt, the same here – only it’s tied to our blood, therefore it gives us access to allow who we want in and who we don’t.” Regulus explained with a quick smile as Hermione frowned.

“Then I could have -” She cut herself off pointing to James as Regulus frowned.

“Possibly but maybe not – anyway...we don’t have time to be stood out here talking.” Regulus added, moving up the stairs and letting the siblings follow him up.

Hermione held her breath as she entered. She remember the house from both lives, though she had been rather young the last time she came here and the other time it had been left for years.

Somehow it was like both version had come together, the dark and dingy long rooms minus the cobwebs and general sense of abandonment – the elf heads still littered the walls as did the portraits, most of which seemed to be asleep and not to be woken if Regulus’ finger against his lips was an indication.

The house looked overall nicer than would, or had, in the future, but not so nice that Hermione wanted to live here ever in her life, not even as she walked up the stairs and towards the fourth floor, passing the rooms Octans and the other relatives had stayed in, the rooms her and Ginny had slept until she stopped between Regulus’ bedroom, the door open and showing the green inside and Sirius’.

“Beautiful place, mate.” James commented as he followed behind Hermione, Regulus scoffed and mumbled something, taking up the back and keeping a look out over the stairs.

Hermione stared, her hand reaching for the doorknob and her heart aching at the thought of seeing Sirius again, regardless of whatever state he might be in. There was an eagerness inside her to get through the door as fast as possible, that it practically radiated through her whole body.

James shoved past her first, pushing away her hand and trying to open it himself only to frown as all it did was rattle. He moved the handle again, his frown deepening as nothing happened. ”What the fuck do we do now?” Hazel eyes turned onto Regulus who let out a sigh, an excuse or answer prepared on his lips.

Hermione didn’t give him time, didn’t care if Aurors turned up – it wasn’t like they would be able to get in nor would they be interested in bothering the Prestigious House of Black about someone who was underage using magic out of school, not unless they wanted to end up on the wrong side of Voldemort's biggest supporters. She didn’t care if her the boys scolded her, she didn’t care because Sirius needed her.

The doorknob fell to the ground with a thud, the actual door opening slightly as Hermione took a step forward, pushing it open further and stepping into the room.

Hermione Potter had never been in Sirius' room, it would have been improper regardless of her age - but Hermione Granger had, when she lived there she had walked past a couple of times, had seen an older Sirius looking over his photos or records with an air of sadness she never commented on - and she had seen the room when Snape and Dung had both searched through, taking momentos and leaving messes behind.

It was the same as then, an ornate bed with velvet curtains that looked to have been charmed red, Gryffindor scarves and memorabilia stuck to the walls, as well as scantily clad women, motorcycles and a photo of the boys that must have been taken a couple of years ago. It was so Sirius, that Hermione almost smiled, despite the state and smell of the room.

Any hint of a smile left her though as she caught sight of the bloody handprints on the window, as though someone had tried and failed to push it open - and the skinny pale figure that was laid half curled up on the bed. He looked as though he hadn't washed for days and eaten for a couple of weeks and it made her feel sick - even more so when she spotted the bloody clothes and bruises on the visible areas of his body. 

“Sirius?” Her words were whispered as she moved forward and took his face in her hands. His lip was split but seemed as though it was healing, and there was a cut over his eye, but nothing could compare to the rest as he gave out a shuddering breath.

His ribs moved slowly under the fabric of his shirt and his eyes narrowly opened to take to take her in, his mouth turning into a pained smirk as he tried to raise his hand to pull on a curl. “You come to save me, Kitten?”

His eyes closed again and then James was there, reaching for his best friend and shaking his shoulder gently. “Pads?”

“He’ll be fine, but we need to get him home now – I can’t heal him here.” Hermione spoke, the cold mask falling onto her face and the tears pushed back for another time where they were safe, and Regulus wasn’t looking like he was going to faint or panic at any moment.

James’ eyes met hers, his own face hardening as he reached down for his best mate and pulled him up without a complaint, wrapping his arm around the boys waist and using Sirius’ arm around his shoulders to hold him up, not even blinking as Sirius let out a pained moan.

Hermione swept to the other side, using what she could of her much smaller weight to support the still heavy boy, her legs buckling slightly and her teeth gritting as she did her best to match her brothers pace under the weight of Sirius Black.

The made it to the third floor without throwing Sirius down the stairs, his head lolling to the side and laying on top of her own. A small smile broke it’s way past her mask as she watched his feet move to try and keep in time with her own and James’, small and uneven painful looking steps but steps nonetheless.

“Good afternoon, what do we have here?” It took everything she had not to drop Sirius, even as she pulled out her wand to face the man.

“Uncle.” Regulus spoke behind them, Sirius cracking open the eye to grin painfully at the man before them.

Hermione recognised him before he even spoke, the same sharp features as both of his nephews but with an air of defiance that Sirius must have picked up on. His shaggy black hair hanging over his face and hiding his scruff. His robes were pressed and put together like the rest of the blacks but hung open to show a dirty shirt underneath.

“Afternoon, Uncle.” His words were slurred and he leaned further onto Hermione who tried her best not to fall and instead to push him back onto James.

“Sirius, my boy, what have they done to you?” Alphard spoke, moving forward, eyes flickering between James and Hermione, stopping at Hermione’s wand.

“You think we did this?!” James shouted, his anger like a flame that seemed to set all of the teenagers off as Sirius tried to mumble something, waving his hand against his friends shoulder and shaking his head.

“Take a look again, Alphard, I’m pretty sure your sister is responsible for this.” Hermione hissed, red tainting her vision as the man turned to look at her, taking her in from head to toe with a frown and narrowing his eyes.

“Hermione?” He asked before a wide grin that both his nephews had inherited took over his face and he took another step forward, ignoring the warning growl from James and the groan from Sirius. “I should have known – you look just like -”

“Don’t finish that sentence – I’m not above blasting you out of the way.” She moved her wand further up, pointing it at his face.

“I don’t doubt it.” Alphard raised his hands, the grin still on his face before it fell quickly and concern took over as he looked to his youngest nephew with a frown. “Regulus...what will happen when your mother finds out?” Hermione’s stomach clenched as she lowered her wand but didn’t put it away.

“She’s not going to find out – Regulus has nothing to do with this – in fact he was stunned the moment Hermione Potter entered the house for Sirius.” Hermione claimed, Sirius nudged his head against her own and she turned to face those silver eyes that were dancing with pain and joy.

“All for me?”

“And your cousin -”

“My brother was never here – the less people involved in this the better – so you can either agree or I can make your forget.” Her words seemed to burn him as he moved his gaze away from James, the denial of their real labels thrown to the wind and discarded with her biological family.

“Are you threat-”

“Something tells me you’ll agree and that you want Sirius as safe as possible, and you know that isn’t here.” She didn’t let him finish, not backing down a second even as his eyes narrowed and the stormy blue darkened.

“And Regulus?” He spoke through clenched teeth, gesturing towards the youngest around them. The one who had done what he could to get his brother out.

“Regulus has made his choice...he knows we don’t hold it against him and he knows where to come if he ever needs out.” Even as Hermione spoke the words she turned to face the boy, a soft smile on his face that changed to surprise as James nodded his head in agreement.

“Well then, I suggest we better get on with this – you lead the way Hermione, I’ll take the boy from here.” Alphard spoke, ushering away as Hermione peeled herself from Sirius who groaned and weakly tried to reach out for her before leaning heavily on his uncle who let out a grunt.

James gave her a look, one she knew well – one that asked her if she trusted this. Honestly she wasn’t sure herself but Hermione Granger remembered hearing of the uncle, not that he had helped Sirius escape but instead he had left everything to him in his will. Treated him like a son to be proud of instead a stain on their house.

A small nod gave James the confirmation they needed and Hermione turned to face Regulus. “Stay up here.”

“What – I need to -”

The group stopped a floor away from the entrance, their eyebrows raised as the sound of someone entering was heard, heels clicking against the floor and Kreacher grumbling about something. Hermione sucked in a deep breath and turned to face Alphard.

“Regulus stay here.” Hermione hissed, her eyes wide as she turned to face James. It was one thing for her to be caught but not him. Never him. She turned to Alphard who seemed to understand, his head nodding in silent agreement. “Put the cloak on.”

“I’m not leaving -”

“I know – now put the cloak on and go outside and call Poppy – make sure she is ready to go the moment we are out of the wards.” Hermione hissed, James stared at her for a second before nodding. Alphard watched in amazement as James pulled out the silvery cloak and with one last look threw it over his head, vanishing from view.

“Wait a couple of minutes, I will distract Walburga – hopefully that will give you enough time to get him out.” He spoke between Hermione and nothing, looking for James and coming up blank and then he was moving down the stairs and towards the drawing room.

Hermione breathed out a sigh, catching sight of James’ foot as he slipped past Alphard and down the rest of the stairs, towards the first floor and hopefully towards Poppy.

“I know you’re weak -” Hermione spoke softly into Sirius’ ear, his hand moving to her shoulder as she tried to help him up. “- but I’m going to need your help getting down these stairs and then it’s over.” His silver eyes turned to face her.

“Alphard – what are you doing here? I didn’t expect anyone until this evening.” Walburga’s voice called up the stairs as the drawing room door shut. Sirius flinched and Hermione frowned, his finger stroking her face and a weak grin taking over the tiredness.

“Home.”

“Yeah home.” She mumbled back, turning to give Regulus one last look before she was moving, Sirius doing his best to keep up with her, there feet stumbling down the stairs and past the drawing room.

“...what is meant to be done.” They heard Walburga snap and Alphard mumble something back as they stepped on the stairs. Sirius groaned and rested more of his weight on Hermione. A small whimper left her mouth as she tried to heave him forward, her legs wobbling dangerously.

The open door shined in view, James stood on the path before, head spinning around. A small smile made it’s way to her face as she heaved Sirius again, trying to pull his further only to end up in a tangle of limbs and rolling down the stairs.

“What was that?” Walburga’s voice carried, her heeled footsteps clicking on the ground as Alphard softer tone whispered through the house, his heavier shoes following and no doubt trying to stop his sister.

“Come on Sirius.” Hermione whispered, pulling herself from under his body and wincing as her leg ached. He mumbled something at her, trying to pull himself up and onto Hermione, the pair of them groaning as the limped towards the door.

“Move Alphard!” Walburga screeched, the door to the drawing room flying open with a bang and a groan, Hermione limped faster, feeling the breeze and seeing her brother as Poppy cracked into view, a worried frown on her face.

The heeled shoes followed them as Hermione gripped the door frame, her head spinning around just in time to duck from the red light of Walburga Black’s wand, her crazed eyes set on Hermione and Sirius.

“Hello mother – it seems I am being rescued, don’t expect me back.” Sirius mumbled with a grin, his split lip ripping slightly and fresh blood coming to the surface as he dipped his head.

“Why you ungrateful little -” Her words were cut off by another hex, once that sent splinters of wood from the door towards the teenagers. Sirius chuckled and pulled on Hermione who Walburga seemed to have settled on. “You will pay for this, bloodtraitor.”

Hermione grinned and nodded her head. “I look forward to it.” She mumbled, pushing Sirius through the door and down the stairs, sending the teen stumbling into the waiting arms of James.

“The pair of you bring shame upon this house!” Walburga carried on as Hermione moved down the stairs, ducking past another hex and reaching out to grab Poppy just as a crack echoed through the air.

The spinning didn’t help the adrenaline that was racing through her veins, nor did the landing help her leg, her whole body collapsing to the floor the moment they appeared in the entrance room of Potter Manor, Sirius half laying on top of her.

His breath was shallow but his laughter seemed to ring around the house as the three teenagers laid them in a pile, the house elf watching with wide eyes and shaking hands.

“What is – Sirius?” Euphemia appeared in the room, Lily behind her and Fleamont taking up the rear. Hermione let out another laugh as Sirius gave a cough and then a cheer, followed by a groan and his face turning pale. “Oh my – oh – Fleamont...let’s get him to his room.”

Lily blinked wide eyes, kneeling down beside the Potter’s as Fleamont levitated the boy, half on his way to passing out with Euphemia and Poppy following him. She let out her own laugh and reached forward to pull a splinter from Hermione’s hair.

“You did it.”

Hermione breathed out a sigh as James let out a small laugh, a grin over taking her face as she nodded her head and moved to stand up, her leg wobbling and James moving to catch her.

“Yeah – I think you need to lay down too.” He muttered, gesturing for Lily to take her other side as they helped her hop up the stairs, the three stopping down the hall as Fleamont shut Sirius’ door where Euphemia and Poppy seemed to be working to face his children with a glare.

Chapter Text

WARNING; THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MENTIONS AND ACTIONS OF ABUSE, NOTHING TOO GRAPHIC, THOUGH OTHER THINGS AND THE CONSEQUENCES ARE MENTIONED. IF THIS IS NOT THE CHAPTER FOR YOU THEN PLEASE SKIP TO THE LAST PART OF THIS CHAPTER. THIS WILL BE DEALING WITH SIRIUS' PART FROM THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER AND I WOULD LIKE PEOPLE TO BE INFORMED.

Friday the 18^th of June 1976

He hated this house, hated how it loomed over him as he stood outside, the Muggles passing by without a second glance or the knowledge of Walburga and Orion’s hated filled gazes.

It really was a Grim Old Place indeed.

And he was back by his own choice, or really his mother’s hand and threats of what would happen if he refused to come home for the summer. But he was here, being pushed into the dusty place and up the stairs – his father’s hand a tight weight on his shoulder and his mother’s heels echoing in his head like an alarm.

Regulus walked by his side, head bowed low but every now and then he would catch Sirius’ gaze and shake his head – disappointment settling into every line on his face. Why couldn’t he just see that Sirius was doing this in part for him? Giving up his freedom and buying his brother time? Making sure his brother wasn’t marked as best as he could?

Not that he was sure how that was going to work out when he refused to be marked himself, but he had a plan. A plan that would make sure him and Reg both walked away...except it wasn’t a plan more of just running away but it was still something.

Sirius blinked as he was pushed into the drawing room, a group of dark heads and cold eyes turning to look at with sinister smiles on all their faces and eager hands on their wands.

“Ah, a family reunion – mother you shouldn’t have.” Sirius grinned as he turned to face the woman, a hand on his heart. She glared back at him, pushing him further into the room as Orion leant against the door and Regulus frowned at the floor.

The Blacks, or well what was left of them, by blood and marriage stared back at him – varying levels of disgust and maybe some with a twinkle of amusement – though that could have just been his Uncle Alphard who seemed to want to be anywhere else.

“Good to see you home, cousin.” He hated that voice, it rang through and made his teeth clench as he turned to find the ironically named Bellatrix. Fucking bella, his arse.

“Wish I could say the same, Bella.” Bella hissed like a snake, her dark eyes, so much like Hermione’s, were crazed and her dark hair curled off in every way as her strong jaw tensed, but he moved on, turning to look at the woman with pale hair and blue eyes that stood out in the group. “Cissy, finally smelt all that bullshit Lucius keeps spewing?”

Her eyes widened as he mimicked her expression and grinned, her mouth forming into a tight line as she turned to look at Walburga.

“It seems there is still much to do, Auntie.”

“With me? Psh...I’m perfect.” Sirius spoke back with a grin, waving his hand and ignoring the warning glare that was coming from his father. “I mean, not to brag but I believe this year – fuck!” Sirius hissed, reaching up to rub the side of his head where his father’s hand had made contact, his family ring digging into the skin.

“Shut up, boy!”

“You could have just asked nicely.” Sirius mumbled, pulling away his hand and tensing his jaw.

“This is no times for games, Sirius, everyone in this room has directly been influenced by your sordid behaviour.” Orion continued, pushing Sirius onto the free space of the sofa beside his other Uncle, his least favourite – Cygnus the twat and his wife Druella, who did spend her days making you drool. “Now it is time to listen to us.”

“Question?” Sirius asked, raising his hand and frowning, speaking before any more could cut him. “This ‘sordid’ behaviour pertains to what exactly?”

“Gallivanting with blood traitors and mudbloods...ruining the reputation our family has worked so hard to uphold with your rakish ways…” Walburga hissed out, looking more like Bellatrix as she paced the length of the floor, pointing one finger at him.

It was a mistake often made that Orion was head of the house, or he would be once Grandpa Pollux died, the truth was Walburga, in the direct line of things, was more in charge than anyone else. Her father had married her off to her own cousin so that he wouldn’t loose the Black Manor when the time came but considering he was only thirteen years older than his daughter and looking better health as he drank his whisky, it didn’t seem that day was coming soon.

“Are you listening, boy?” His father roared as Sirius pulled his gaze away from Pollux, who really seemed disinterested.

“I’ll be honest...no.” Another slap, though this one stung more, still Sirius didn’t do anything but send a quick glare to his father.

“This year is an important year for us...it’s the year we might be able to uphold our family and we will not have you ruin it.” Walburga snapped, glaring at her son. Regulus rolled his eyes behind her and sent Sirius a quick look.

“Well that I can understand...see here’s my plan for making the family great again; you can all go fuck yourselves.” He whispered, watching with a smirk as everyone turned to look at him in slight shock and dodging his father’s next slap with a laugh.

“You will do what is expected of you!” His father roared, eyes glinting dangerously. “You will join the cause, marry and continue with our legacy or you will banished.” His teeth bared like a rabid dog and a jolt of fear ran through Sirius.

“I take banished for 30 galleons please.” He wished the fear would work through his mouth instead.

His mother shrieked like a banshee, reaching forward to pull him off the sofa with strength he didn’t even know she had to throw him to the floor, wand in her hand and pointed straight at his face as he glared back, his whole family circling round his like a pack of hyenas ready for dinner.

“You insolent little boy...this is not a joke and we are not asking, you will do what is expected as your cousins have and as we did.” She leaned over, her high collar floor length black dress and robes swishing around her and her wand pointed at his throat. “Is that understood?” His mouth remained shut as he glared up at her.

Her hand came down before he could see it, the slap echoing around the room, before he could even flinch she had taken a hold of his hair.

“Is that understood?”

“Fuck you.” He hissed, tasting the blood that must have come from a split lip, he grinned once more at her as her rage tipped over the edge and her wand pointed at him once again, a scream and a spell leaving her mouth that had him groaning in pain and accepting the oncoming darkness.

…

He wasn’t sure how many days it had been, maybe a week since he was locked in here and maybe two since he had once again tried opening the window only to find it locked like his bedroom door.

His error hit his faster than his father’s slaps in the face. He had made a mistake coming back here, and now he was wandless, starving and trapped in the one place he used to love – the Gryffindor memorabilia and pictures of his friends only adding to the anger inside.

A sigh left his mouth as the door unlocked and Walburga stood in the entrance, cold and angry. For a second, Sirius though about rushing past her, pushing her out of the way and running down the stairs as fast as he could – making his way back outside and hoping to Merlin that he could change and run as a dog to the Potter’s, but it was like Walburga knew.

She grinned evilly at him, placing down enough food to keep him alive and looking over his wounds with a laugh. Cruel and horrible to the bone, and he fucking hated her.

Too weak to escape. Too weak to do magic. She had him fucking trapped.

“Mother.”

“Ready to see the error of your ways?”

“I mean this in the nicest of ways but...that is never going to happen, you cunt.”

Her jaw clenched and her wand was out in a second, a slashing hex sent to his chest and the familiar feeling of dizziness making him chuckle. Like a small relief from the mental pain – almost enjoyable in the sickest of ways.

“You will comply.” He chuckled again and didn’t wince when her hand reached out to hit his face, just laughed louder as blood filled his mouth and he turned to face her.

It was sick and he was taunting her, waiting for worse as he gripped his chest, the wound not as deep as what he kind of hoped it would be. He grinned one last time, filling up his mouth with saliva and spitting in her face as she moved backwards, with a look of shock.

A stinging hex this time and then she was gone, the door slamming and locking with a bang as he fell to his side with another laugh, bed folding under his weight, his sobs catching up and his hands gripped for something, anything to hold onto as the sadness and blackness of his mind took hold.

…

The sound of footsteps awoke him from his sleep, keeping him on edge as he opened his eyes to the dark night flooding his room.

Today had been worse, a new burn mark and slashing hex taking place as he once again refused and all but passed out from the pain of his parents loving abuse. A new wave of fear crept up his spine as he stared towards the door with half blurred eyes and no energy left to move.

They usually left him alone at night – all comfortable in their separate bedrooms after dealing with the problem child. What a hated thing to be. So different from his own family. He hated how he found himself wishing he wasn’t – how he could just bow down and do what they wanted, but it was far past that now. If he could just make it through the summer then he could get himself a couple more months.

The footsteps stopped outside his bedroom, the handle jiggling and met with a sigh. “Sirius?”

If he could then he would speak back, ask his brother to help him or to escape – to find Hermione, James and the Potter’s – to take him in or just leave him to die. Just so Regulus could be safe, so everyone he knew and loved could be safe.

“I – I...I don’t know if you’re awake but if you are then please just hold on a couple of days more – I...I’ve got a plan – we’re going to get you out.” His eyes closed against the tears and his heart clenched as he realised he didn’t need to ask who would be coming.

A small whimper left his mouth followed by a barely there sob, nothing left in his body to offer...nothing but death.

“I’m right here and...just hold on.” Regulus whispered one last time, his footsteps fading to his own room and his door shutting softly. Sirius smiled and let sleep take him once again...it was good for Reg to hope, but it would be over soon.

…

“Sirius?” Fuck no. No. No she wasn’t supposed to be here.

This was some sick dream, a dying dream that his body was producing so he didn’t have to feel the true pain of death.

Yet her hands felt so real, warm and soft as they gently took his face – forcing his eyes open to take sight of the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, kneeling beside him like some sort of angel – with her chocolate eyes, pale face and a mess of black curls.

He let a smirk form on his face, even as it pulled at his cut lip while somehow finding the energy to reach and tug on a curl, his dream seeming so real as she stared back at her in shock. “You come to save me, Kitten?”

He could die like this, with her face over his, full of concern and warmth for a boy that had done her nothing but cause pain. It was selfish but he could let that image be the last thing he saw as he closed his eyes, the gentle lulling of another voice, one he knew but didn’t care to place even as his shoulders shook.

There was something, or someone, else at his side, the hands moving from his shoulders to pull him up, an arm gently going around his waist and his own around a shoulder – a groan that he couldn’t stop leaving his mouth and nausea following.

There was someone else moving to his other side, more gently but he knew who it was, he wished he could stand up better, keep his weight off her and move onto...a familiar smell, a familiar arm. James was here too.

This better be a dream because otherwise he was going to kill them both if they got out of here, and then ask how the hell they had even gotten in or how they were dragging him down the stairs.

He tried to keep up but his whole body felt like it was on fire, and his head was going to the side, laying on top of Hermione’s, a smile on his face as the scent of her shampoo worked to push away the pain and her warm hands pulled on his arm.

Another voice spoke, huskier and deeper than the others, followed by Regulus. “Uncle.”

A grin overtook his face as he opened his eyes to see a concern Alphard before them, blurry but his uncle nonetheless, looking less put together than when he had last seen him. No doubt trying to drown the problems that came with having a family like their own.

How many nights had Sirius wished for alcohol to drown his own sorrows?

“Afternoon, Uncle.” His voice didn’t sound like his own and Hermione was pushing him further into James who gripped him tighter, less mindful about his injuries unlike his sister.

His eyes closed again as Alphard said something, but Sirius didn’t care to make it out because James was reacting, so it was something bad. James always knew when it was something bad, but Alphard meant no harm – not like the rest of them.

He tried to tell them that, waving his hand over James’ shoulder but none of them were listening to him, no they just carried on speaking. Harsh tones and cold words that washed over him like rainfall and made his doubt his dream.

His friends were here to save him. Why was his uncle ruining it?

“...in fact he was stunned the moment Hermione Potter entered the house for Sirius.” Hermione’s voice ran through him like a calming drought, his head turning against her own to face those beautiful chocolate eyes, filled with concern and anger, only calming when he looked at her.

“All for me?”

The wicked part of his brain cackled, reminding him that she had probably come because of James, or Regulus, but there was a smaller part. One that hoped despite everything that ached and pleaded with the thought of her wanting him to come home – that she would risk her life to save him.

It was stupid and selfish and he would be having words when he figured out if she was really here or not.

“Are you threat-”

Oh shit. He didn’t hear what Hermione had said but he could agree with his uncle, yes she probably was.

“Something tells me you’ll agree and that you want Sirius as safe as possible, and you know that isn’t here.” It was wrong to find that attractive but he couldn’t help the pleased little smile that made it’s way to his face as they continued speaking around him.

“Well then, I suggest we better get on with this – you lead the way Hermione, I’ll take the boy from here.” He could have whimpered the moment Hermione moved away and his Uncle was there, grunting as he helped James carry his weight. Like he was large and heavy when he was as light and beautiful as they came.

“Stay up here.”

“What – I need to -”

Reggie needed to listen. Hermione was right, she was always right, and there was only so much she could do. Regulus would be safe, she wouldn’t let him be involved.

So why were they not moving? They were whispering to each other and James was moving away, soft footsteps and angry words with his sister and then Alphard was moving, Sirius straining to catch his words and support himself against the stairs.

“...I will distract Walburga – hopefully that will give you enough time to get him out.” Oh fuck. This was not good but his mouth wasn’t opening to tell them all to get the fuck out. To leave him here and face the bitch’s wrath another day.

“I know you’re weak -” Rude. He was strong, he was Sirius Fucking Black – and he was all but melting as she whispered into his ear and moving him to her shoulder. “- but I’m going to need your help getting down these stairs and then it’s over.” He looked at her one last time, taking in every detail.

“Alphard – what are you doing here? I didn’t expect anyone until this evening.” He flinched at the sound of her voice – his evil mothers.

He wanted peace, his eyes looking at Hermione as she frowned at him, every emotion on her face like an open book that only he could read, pushing him past the tired pain so he could manage a weak grin and let his finger drift over her blushing cheek.

“Home.”

“Yeah home.” She didn’t understand but he couldn’t blame her – couldn’t make her understand when they were at such a critical moment. Her head turned to face Regulus and he couldn’t help but follow as he was all but dragged down the stairs.

His little brother stood watching him with a frown and a proud smile, the two seeming to go hand in hand and making his heart ache.

He let out a groan as they passed the drawing room and his mothers voice rang through the air, his body weakening with every step. Hermione whimpered as she moved, all but pulling him along.

He tried to help but his brain was turning foggy and his dream was coming to an end in the shape of a bright white light where his front door should be. It wasn’t his fault that their feet seemed to mix up, nor that he could suddenly fly.

He let out a groan that cut out his mothers voice as his teeth set on edge and his whole body tingled like his nerves were on fire.

“Come on Sirius.” Hermione was there again.

“Just leave me.” He mumbled, whether she heard or not, she didn’t care as she pulled on him. He followed with her, finding enough strength and letting out a groan that echoed throughout the house as he leaned on her.

“Alphard!” The door upstairs opened with a bang at the same time there was a crack outside, followed by a lovely breeze that felt as if it could cleanse his skin.

His eyes opened wider as his mother appeared behind them, eyes flicking between them both and her wand pointed. He wanted to tell Hermione to run, to leave and never come back but she clung on tighter as though she could sense what he might say.

“Hello mother – it seems I am being rescued, don’t expect me back.” Sirius mumbled with a grin, his split lip ripping slightly and fresh blood coming to the surface as he dipped his head. Fresh amusement filling him at her crazy eyes.

“Why you ungrateful little -” Splinters littered the air from her wand and Sirius chuckled, the room turning like one of those roundabouts at Muggle parks. “You will pay for this, blood traitor.”

“I look forward to it.” He would have laughed if he wasn’t being pushed out of the door and down the stairs, his feet barely keeping up as he landed into James’ arms, ones that pulled him up and moved him to grip Poppy as his mother screamed behind them.

Poppy cracked them through the air. His stomach turning and every piece of his body screaming with protest, even as they landed on the floor, something soft enough to break his fall and ease the pain.

He could barely breath as he laughed, and the room began to spin. He cheered even as someone spoke to him and he laid back on the floor, the darkness descending on him once again.

…

Panting breaths and a darkened room was what he awoke to later. Panic filling his lungs and the memories, his mother's wicked gaze and his father's back hand and Bellatrix’s...no he didn’t want to go down that road. Didn’t want to be trapped back in his bedroom.

Groaning he moved, head spinning around to try and take in where he was – smaller then his room at Grimmauld Place, but more comforting and familiar.

His bed was softer, and the familiar mess of black hair that slept beside him, as well as the scarred face at the foot of his bed made the panic ease slightly.

“I have them too, you know.” His head turned, faster than it should have and an echo of pain running through his veins as he stared wide eyed as the messy curls and hooded dark eyed, pale skin standing out like a beacon but the voice softer. “Nightmare.”

She shifted slightly, allowing him to see the difference, softer features and a warmer voice, kind chocolate eyes and the smile of a Potter. It wasn’t Bellatrix. No, she wouldn’t wait for him to wake while his best friends shared his bed like they were at a slumber party.

He let out a breath, shaky and unsure, as his heart ached in his chest and his hands longed to bring the girl into his arms and thank her – and then tell her off for even thinking of doing something so stupid.

“Though I imagine they’re a bit different.”

Sirius frowned, wondering what she was even talking about, trying to make his tired brain move back to what she was saying a few seconds ago. He scoffed and tried his best to hide his grimace. “Yeah. No shit.”

Hermione untucked her legs from where she sat on the chair, eyeing him warily. “There’s some potions on the side. You’re supposed to take them.” Her hand lifted weakly, pointing to the bedside table where a tray waited.

They tasted vile but he took them, staring out at the rising sun as he did so. It had been just past midday when they got him, if he remembered rightly – the sun had been strong on his pale skin the moment he was pushed outside his house.

His eyes moved to Hermione as she played with the sleeves of her jumper, a jumper that looked awfully familiar and he was pretty sure wasn’t hers. She looked exhausted, eyes red and puffy, heavy and her whole body slumped – except her right leg which she seemed to rested gingerly on top of a stack of his books.

“How long have you been here?”

Her jaw tensed and her eyes met his, the slowly lightening sky casting a purple light over her eyes, with a slow blink. “Why did you go with them?”

“Are we just ignoring my questions now?” His voice slightly snappish and his body ached as he laid back onto the bed, staring at her as he rested on his side, fighting the tiredness to watch her instead as she refused to answer. “Because I had to.”

White teeth came out to bit the bottom of her lip, making it redder than before and slightly tempting, though his body seemed to disagree with a small tremor that had her frowning.

“No, you didn’t.” Hermione whispered, his mouth opening to fight, to explain what she didn’t understand even if he knew deep down she did, more than anyone, but she got there first. “And you’ll never have to again.” Her voice was as hard as a diamond, but her eyes twinkled with tears.

It was a promise she was making, a threat of what would happen if he even tried it again – and for once he couldn’t fight her on it. For once he couldn’t stop the smile that made it’s way to his face.

“Come here, Kitten.” His arm lifted gingerly as she watched him with wide eyes.

“Sirius, you’re injured -”

“Which is exactly why I think I’m entitled to a cuddle right now.” He grinned despite the fact that it was true, his eyes stung with tears and his hand ached to hold something – to make sure this was real. That his friends cared so much that they would risk their lives to save him. That they would sleep by his side just to be there.

Hermione let out a sigh, a wince taking over her face as she limped over to him, stopping only for a second as Sirius pulled back the duvet, her eyes moving over his shirtless chest in flickering emotions. But she didn’t stop – pulling herself into his already crowded bed and laying by his side.

“What happened to your leg?” He whispered as she moved to lay on her side, half hanging off of the bed to give him some space.

“I fell down the stairs and something heavy landed on it.” There was a teasing glint in her eyes as Sirius frowned, opening his mouth to speak when she shook her head and moved a tiny inch closer. “It’s nothing to worry about.”

His arm reached forward, moving under her head despite the protest and pulling her closer into his chest, resting his head on top of hers as she wrapped own arm gently around his waist.

“Hermione -”

“I’m so glad you’re home.” The words were muffled, followed by a small sob that pulled at his heart strings and had his over arm resting over her own waist in some weird kind of half naked hug that offered more comfort than it should have.

“Because of you.” He whispered through his own tears, kissing the top of her head and pulling her even closer as she sobbed quietly. “You have no idea how grateful I am...thank you.”

She didn’t pull away and neither did he. The pair of them sobbing and clinging to each other without a care about James or Remus waking up – it didn’t matter right now. Months of anger and old feelings buried in the name of being there for one another.

It didn’t matter that they fell asleep like that, or that Euphemia and Lily came in the morning, waking up the other two and leaving them to sleep wrapped in each other's embrace. Nor that when they finally woke up, puffy faced and awkwardly smiling – that it felt like a bond had been built to replace the old crumbling one. That things were finally going back to how it should have been.

Chapter Text

Saturday the 24^th of July 1976 

The McKinnon House was not really a house, more like a small Manor with a lot of land.

Land that had supposedly come there way through years and years of hard work – though Marlene always said it was more to do with having a shit ton of children and marrying them off for dowries. Though the past few generations had struggled past one or two children before Marlene’s parents.

Whatever it came through, it was impressive. Sure it missed the lake that Potter Manor had, or the small forest that ran at the back of their entrance but it was still something to see. Even with all the guests that littered, dressed in fancy robes and turning their noses up at everything.

Hermione rolled her eyes, shifting in her own flowy robes and doing her best not to pull her hair out of its many plaits and twists that her mother had carefully done. A glare overtook her face as she reached for her drink, sighing against the sweet elf wine and turning to grin at James.

“If they don’t get on with this then I’m leaving.”

“Nope – don’t leave.” The siblings turned to see Marlene, dressed much like Hermione though resembling more of some golden elf than a Pagan.

“Where have you been?” James asked with a sigh, his glass of wine in his hands and his outer robes thrown over the table. Their parents would kill him if they saw how casual he looked at such an important event for the Pureblood community.

“Avoiding one of the older Nott’s – apparently he’s lonely and in dire need of a friend.” Marlene quoted, pointing to an older gentlemen who smirked as he looked around at all the women walking past. “I swear this place is just crawling with pedo Slytherin’s.”

“But it would be fine if they were young Slytherin’s?” Hermione asked as she sipped her wine, an impish grin on her face as Marlene turned her icy eyes onto her.

“How’s Sirius?”

Hermione sent her a quick look, but allowed the conversation to change before taking another sip of wine that suddenly tasted bitter. “He’s...erm...he’s Sirius.” She mumbled as James tensed his jaw, going back to staring at the guests.

“I know he’s struggling but -”

“It’s more than that – he’s just not...it’s like he doesn’t know where he is.” James explained with a shake of his head, tongue running over pearly teeth before he leaned forward onto the table and lowered his voice. “Every night he’s screaming in terror...I mean like haunting terror...and everyday he’s tired and can barely hold a conversation before he’s staring off into nothing.”

Hermione gulped and looked away. She didn’t have to imagine what was keeping him up, the faint scars, cuts and bruises told her enough – the choice Regulus had made added to that – and the way Sirius’ arm had wrapped around her as they both cried painted vivid picture.

The panic on his face every morning after just made her feel sick.

“Give him time, I’m sure once he readjusts and deal with whatever happened then he might start feeling like himself again.” Marlene whispered, but there was doubt on her face, even more so when Hermione and James turned to look at each other. “And at least…”

“Marlene!” The three froze as a tall woman, one they hadn’t seen for seemingly years marched over. Her cold stern eyes focusing on her daughter and her long golden hair done beautifully.

“Yes, mother?” Marlene turned as the woman stopped behind her chair, smiling up at the woman who simply glared back.

“I believe I told you to mingle, not sit down and chat.” Her voice was like icy, causing Hermione and James to flinch away from the strong tone as Marlene faced her mother back.

“I was talking with my friends – but of course, mother, I will go entertain your guests now.” Her words were hissed back, a clear intention as Mrs McKinnon tilted her head dangerously to the side, casting one look over to them before straightening her back.

“No time – you can do it after the ceremony.” Mrs McKinnon was cold again, any annoyance disappearing from her face to be replaced by indifference as she turned to Hermione and James. “The Potters, yes?” The two nodded as the woman scoffed and sent Marlene a look that had the girls cheeks turning. “I suspect your parents are waiting for you in their seats – I suggest you find them...Marlene you will come with me.”

The woman turned and began leaving as James and Hermione stood up, eyes wide as Marlene clicked her tongue, a devilish sort of grin taking over her face as she reached for the rest of Hermione’s wine and downed it in one go, sending them a wink and following after her mother.

Hermione and James watched, the same idea settling over them as they turned to face each other. “She’s going to do something stupid, isn’t she?”

“It would seem that way, Jamie – guess tonight might not be a bad night after all.”

…

Hermione had only been to a handful of Pureblood weddings before – though most excluded the Potter’s for being sympathisers to Muggles. And each one was more different than the last.

It seemed the McKinnons had some traditional aspects, though no one was sat in a circle, instead they sat in pew like chairs, and the officiant looked like he wanted to be elsewhere. But there was something magic about watching Matthew and his bride handfasting, the glow of magic resting above their hands like a ribbon, twining itself around them as they spoke.

“How do Muggles do this without magic?” James leaned over to whisper in her ear, a frown on his face as the vows continued.

“I believe it was ribbons, also I’m pretty sure they don’t do this kind of ceremony any more – too Pagan.” Hermione whispered back as his hazel eyes flashed, she had no doubt who he was thinking of.

“So how do Muggles know their bond is sealed forever?” He asked as the magic began to knot itself, tying the couple together for forever, their magic sealing itself to the other person.

“They don’t.” Hermione whispered back as she clapped along with the rest of the guests. “Their weddings are more the tying of families and names, not far off here, but nothing to tie their souls or magic together – it’s why they have divorce, though that’s only become more popular in recent years, while wizards would find it more difficult.” Hermione added as she frowned while James nodded his head.

He opened his mouth to speak but the crowd stood as the bride and groom made their way down, holding hands and sharing grins as they passed the group and away from the wedding for the moment.

“Is she pissed?” Hermione’s head spun around as Marlene smiled at her mother, stumbling slightly as Mrs McKinnon hissed something, pointing a finger at the guests that were still looking at where the couple had gone.

“It seems so, come on.”

“And where are you two going?” The siblings stopped to face their mother and father as the exited the pew, the other guests moving along, back to where the evening reception would take place. There was amusement and worry in their gazes, something that had been there since they brought Sirius back and were promptly grounded and hugged at the same time.

Hermione let out a laugh as James smiled innocently, their heads turning to look for their friend only to find her gone to the vanishing crowd.

“We were -”

“We were hoping to jump over the broom, I mean after these past couple of days we could do with sweeping the bad stuff away.” James jumped in with a frown as their parents watched them.

“I think we’ll be leaving that to the couple, though I do require your help with gifting the couple and then you can go find Marlene after.” Their mother left no room for argument as Fleamont moved to wrap an arm around each of his children, dragging them along to where the couple where no sat inside a giant tent.

…

“Where could she have gone?” Hermione hissed as her parents moved to sit at their table with a bunch of friendly acquaintances.

The tent was full of people, almost reminiscent of Bill and Fleur’s wedding, though if not a bit more traditional and loud...and with less redheads running around. The couple sat on a long table, thanking everyone who gave them a gift, while other people danced or ate, or chattered in the corner with a whiskey or wine.

“She might have not even been drunk.” James tried but his eyes were wide, stopping at every blond as Hermione glared. “Or she might not even be planning to do something stupid – we could be overestimating her…”

“Hello.” The pair jumped, turning to see Marlene stood behind them, not totally sober but not drunk, a small smirk on her face and a raised eyebrow. “Talking about me?”

“Yes!” Hermione hissed, pulling her friend to the side and out of the tent were a few people lingered, mostly it seemed to get away from the intense and overwhelming atmosphere inside or to sneak a cigarette without anyone seeing. “We thought you were going to do something stupid.”

“I was.”

“Oh thank – you were?”

“I’m tired of my parents deciding and pushing me to these old men – no offence Mr Abbott -” Marlene spoke, slightly slurred as she waved to the smoking man, he shrugged his shoulders – not seeming too put out. “- so I was going to pull a Sirius – obviously without all the shitty stuff.”

“So just Mi’ and I hauling your arse out of here?” James asked with a confused smile as Marlene shrugged her shoulders, stopping to pick up a flute of champagne off of the waiter walking past, and taking a sip with a smile.

“Well that was one step but the pair of you are shite and also situation is different.” Marlene moved her hands. “So I changed plan – my parents aren’t going to let me go unless I give them a reason, or the future possibility of marriage.”

Hermione felt her mouth drop open as she gaped at her best friend. It wasn’t the first time it had happened, the girl had said some stupid things over the years – but this just topped the fucking cake.

Months worth of anger and frustration, of arguments and even a few weeks where they didn’t speak because of this exact thing her parents wanted and how upset it had made Marlene was about to be thrown down the drain over some stupid half-cooked tipsy plan.

Hermione couldn’t stop herself from slapping her hand against her head and letting out a groan. “Oh Marlene – for fucks sake.”

“At first I was going to go with James or Sirius -”

“What!”

“Sirius?”

“Who ran away from his house with the help of Potter’s – which means both of you have swiped yourself out of the running.” Marlene spoke with a laugh, downing the rest of her drink and clicking her fingers expectantly, a man with a tray appearing to the Potter’s surprise.

“Thank fuck for that.” James whispered out as he reached to grab a drink, passing one to Hermione and narrowing his eyes as Marlene downed that one and reached for one more before shooing the man away.

“And I wasn’t going to marry you anyway, I just needed someone my parents approved off to keep them off my back – someone Pureblood, with a title and money.” Marlene explained as though it was obvious.”But obviously I’m not that stupid so I thought, what if they thought I was seeing someone worthy of marriage.” Her cheeks flushed and Hermione rolled her eyes.

“Please tell me you didn’t.”

“I don’t understand.” James mumbled, looking between them both as Marlene sighed.

“I’m not asking him to marry me, but I was...well if we were ‘seeing’ each other then maybe my parents would get off my back and this whole marriage nonsense can fuck off.” Hermione would have laughed if Marlene didn’t look so uncertain and pleading – honestly she was just glad her friend was trying the fake dating scenario instead of something worse.

“And has he agreed to this?” Hermione asked with raised eyebrows as Marlene blushed again. “And what about his parents?” The words fell out of her mouth like venom as Marlene flinched.

“I doubt he needs to ask their permission for ‘seeing’ someone.”

“Did you forget whose parents we are talking about?” Hermione snapped, running a hand over her face and levelling Marlene with a look that had the girl flinching backwards slightly. “Do you think they are just going to let their heir date a girl, who according to rumours, has opened her legs for half of the school?” It was slightly cruel and Marlene glared back.

“What is your problem?” Marlene hissed back, but her eyes seemed slightly watery and Hermione couldn’t help the sigh that left her mouth.

“I’m sorry...it’s just that – these aren’t the people you want to be messing around with – look at what they did to Sirius.” Her voice was softer as Marlene’s anger faded slightly and instead understanding took it’s place. “I just don’t want to see you hurt if this doesn’t go the way you want it to.” Marlene’s cheeks flushed again as she shook her head.

“It’s not like that.”

“You like Regulus?” The two girls turned to see James, his eyes wide as he looked between them, a gasp falling from his mouth as Marlene turned redder.

“No – he’s just...we’re friends?” Marlene spoke but it was unsure – like she couldn’t quite tell what they were.

“I can’t believe it.” James spoke with a slight grin. “Can I be there when you tell Sirius that you like his baby brother who also happens to be on his way to joining a murder cult?” The humour died down slightly as Marlene clicked her tongue and Hermione sent her brother a quick warning look.

“It was just an idea and I do not like him.” Marlene snapped, rolling her eyes. “I need more champagne.” Marlene mumbled, reaching for Hermione’s glass only for it to be pulled away.

“It’s a horrible idea, one that will end very badly for the both of you.” James pointed out, shrugging his shoulders and giving her a look. “But if you like him you should go for it, for real though, not because you want to avoid some arranged marriage.” He added, raising an eyebrow as she glared at him.

“I don’t like-”

James giggled like a child as they moved further away from the tent, the night descending and the guests turning from tipsy to drunk. “Is it the dark hair? Does it remind you of me? Or does he remind you of Sirius?” He gasped again like he had just found out the biggest secret.

“That’s disgusting and he reminds me nothing more than a friend.” Marlene countered, even as her eyes twinkled.

“Is it the eyes? I can't blame you there, I mean I couldn't stop staring when I saw him last.” James spoke, the girls turning to look at him in slight shock.

“Are you trying to make Marlene confess her love or are you confessing your own?” Hermione asked with a small laugh that even had Marlene smirking and James shrugging his shoulders like he couldn’t decide. Hermione sobered up quickly, letting out a sigh and reaching for Marlene’s hand. “Listen, Mar, I don’t think -”

“It was just an idea.”

“An idea that might not be the best – I understand that you want out but - you barely know Regulus, and you can’t ask that of him.” Hermione snapped as those icy eyes turned on her once again and Hermione took a step forward.

James let out a sigh and pulled her back. “Hermione.”

“Regulus has made a choice about his life, one that I hope he comes back from – and if he wants to help you then you better be prepared for what your life could become -”

“It wasn’t actually asking him out.” Marlene cut her off, throwing her hands in the air and rolling her eyes, like it was Hermione who couldn’t see the bigger issue.

“All I’m saying is actually talk about this with him – and fucking hell Marlene if you want to give it a shot then give it a shot without all the scheming and shit.”

James nodded his head in agreement as Marlene blushed, the Potter’s looking up quickly as they caught Euphemia and Fleamont heading out of the tent with the same ‘thank-Merlin-we-can-go’ smile.

Marlene’s mouth opened but she nodded her head, eyes slightly cloudy and clearly a lot to think about, but she stayed silent, nodding her head at Euphemia and smiling at Fleamont before hugging her friends and bidding them goodnight.

…

“How was he?” Hermione asked as she stood beside Lily in the doorway Sirius’ room, Remus had pulled his mattress onto the floor, curled up and passed out facing Sirius with a bunch of potions beside him. The pair sleeping like the dead and unaware of the two girls watching them or the sounds of James trying to take off his robes from his own bedroom.

“He was alright, mainly bored I think but he...uh...he apologised for everything that happened.” Lily whispered, seemingly touched, a small smile on her face as she looked at Sirius one last time before stepping away. “How was Marlene?”

Hermione sighed, stepping away herself and closing the door, though leaving a gap so they could hear if he needed anyone. “She’s got a plan...one I’m not sure I want to get into or is even going to happen, but I’d rather speak about that tomorrow.”

They moved down the hall as Lily nodded her head, understanding, her head tilting to the side and her eyes moving to look at James’ half open door.

“Fair enough...so what is a Pureblood wedding like?”

Hermione smirked and raised her eyebrows, taking a small step back. “I’m sure James will tell you all about them one day.” A small scream left her mouth and had James popping his head out of his room just in time to see Hermione run past with an annoyed and blushing Lily on her heels.

Chapter Text

Tuesday the 3^rd of August 1976

"You're not meant to be up and about by yourself, mum’s orders." Hermione spoke, eyes still on her book, only looking up quickly to see Sirius as he tried his best to hobble past the sitting room entrance and towards the main door. “Where are you going anyway?” She added as he stopped and coughed.

“Fresh air?”

“Nice try – Andy isn’t even at home so don’t even bother.” Hermione explained as he limped further into the room, eyes raking down her legs as she laid spread out on one sofa and Marlene on another, frowning at some books.

Sirius sighed, gently tapped her legs which she moved so he could sit himself down, his stiff muscles making him groan. He was making improvement, but there were still scars and a nutritional diet to follow in order to help him gain the weight he had lost in such little time...but mentally it seemed to do little as his nightmares escaped his closed door most nights.

“She’s never at home – I haven’t seen her since I came here.” Hermione opened her mouth and shut it, she had a feeling more was happening in but in the hustle and bustle of everything that had happened, it had been hard to find time to wonder what her parents were keeping quiet.

“I’ll speak to mum tonight.”

Marlene let out a groan, listing her head to glare them both. "Can you all shut up, I'm trying to read."

"The keyword is trying, Marlene." Sirius spoke back with a grin, his eyes dancing slightly, his head spinning around as the front door opened.

"I don't know how you didn't see that one coming." Hermione commented as Marlene glared towards the Sirius, mumbling under her breath what sounded like a whole lot of swear words and names.

“Uncle?” Sirius whispered as Euphemia stepped into the house, the two girls standing and frowning as the tall man followed behind the woman, finding Sirius easily and grinning despite the way James and Remus rushed down the stairs and Lily appeared from the kitchen.

“Apologies, I didn’t know you had a rather large number of guests here.” Alphard spoke softly as Euphemia closed the door, her narrowed eyes and tight lipped smile finding the man.

“I prefer to think of them as family.” Euphemia spoke softly, moving to touch Lily’s chin and smile at Hermione. “Alphard has come to talk to Sirius, behave and wands away.”

“I was hoping I could speak to the boy alone.”

“I don’t tell my children where to go – if Sirius requires privacy then he can ask them, but I highly doubt that will happen.” Euphemia spoke again with a larger smile as Sirius nodded at her words, her hazel eyes turned to her daughter who nodded her head, sitting herself back down on the sofa.

Alphard moved forward into the sitting room, the three children not there following behind him, narrowed eyes and stern expressions.

The older man shifted from foot to foot, slightly nervous, it seemed, to be surrounded and outnumbered by a group of underage witches and wizards. “I won’t hurt him.” No one spoke, instead watching as he gulped and moved to stand before Sirius. “As I’m sure you already know, you’ve blasted from the family tree and Regulus has replaced you as heir.”

“Good luck to him then.” Sirius mumbled, a small inch of sadness crossing his face.

“I..er...I also managed to get this.” Alphard mumbled as he held out a wand, Sirius’ face lighting up and reaching for it without second. Hermione felt her stomach turn with guilt, in her rush to get him out she hadn’t thought to check for his wand.

Something he had reminded everyone in the house about until Fleamont promised to take him to buy a new one when he was better.

“Thanks.”

Alphard nodded, eyes looking around at the light furniture, old and regal like the Black’s, but open and airy, like there was a fresh breeze coming in every direction. A sigh left his mouth as he moved to sit beside Sirius, placing a hand on his shoulder.

He gripped tightly, not that Sirius seemed to mind, and moved away – as close to a hug as he could bring himself it seemed, even in the face of his struggling nephew. “Just uh...Look after yourself, ok Nephew, let your friends and the Potter’s look after you too.” He turned to smile at nervously at Hermione.

A cold smile took over her face as she stared into his eyes. “Always.”

Sirius scoffed, but he wasn’t looking at her but instead Alphard. “So that’s it, you drop off my wand and fuck off?” He asked as his Uncle closed his eyes.

“I don’t want to make myself more unwelcome than I already am.” Alphard explained, holding up his hands. “Listen, Sirius, this house, these people offer you a certain protect that I can’t – you will be safe here and that is more important.” He moved forward to grip Sirius’ chin before patting his cheek affectionately.

“And what about Reg -”

“He’ll be fine - the boy has a sharp mind on him, he knows what he’s getting himself into and I don’t doubt that he knows where to go when he wants out, isn’t that right, Miss Potter?” Sirius silver eyes turned with his Uncle to glare at her, but she stayed her ground.

“Certainty.”

“Your brother will be fine, he’s more like you than you know.”

“That’s not comforting.” Sirius cried as he turned back to face his Uncle, a frown on his face and a growl all but falling from his lips.

“I imagine not.” Alphard agreed, smiling softly before turning back to face Hermione. “Thank you for getting him here and please thank your mother for letting me in – she may revoke my invitation the moment I leave.” Hermione nodded her head.

“Thank you for visiting.” She added, gesturing to the door and following after him, her friends staying behind to watch or force Sirius to stay down.

Alphard stood for a second, the door opening before him and his eyes eagerly scanning the outside before he turned to face Hermione, a tight lipped expression on his face and slightly glassy eyes. “You remind me a bit of him you know.”

Her mouth opened, vile and anger preparing to spew out and tell him what he was worth and where exactly he could shove his wand when he spoke again.

“He, Charlus, would have done same thing -” Her heart stopped slightly and her anger faded as she eagerly waited to hear his next words. “- and he would have been proud to know that his Granddaughter was more Potter than Black, that she would save those she loves above all else – like he did.” He sucked in a breath, seeming to think about his next words. “He was a good Wizard, one of the better ones I’ve met, and I’m sorry that you never really got a chance to see that.”

“Thank you.” Hermione whispered as he nodded his head, heaving one last sigh and a quick look to Sirius, and then stepping out of the door.

She watched him leave, passing through the front garden and opening the gate before turning and disappearing with a crack. Leaving her staring at nothing more than the road before her house and with a slightly aching heart.

…

The knock on her door was gentle – a sign of who was outside without even having to open the piece of wood.

See James would barge in, Marlene would shout for entrance and then enter, Sirius would linger and knock once he was inside – so it either meant Lily or Remus had come to try and break her out of the stupor Alphard Black’s words had left her in.

She was half-tempted to ignore the knocking and go back to laying in her bed, but her friends, even the polite ones, weren’t the sort to walk away when they wanted something. Instead she let out a low growl, glaring as she yanked the pale wood open to reveal Remus.

He stared at her with a soft smile, light green eyes showing nothing but compassion, and each hand gripping a steamy cup of tea. "Mind if I come in?" He asked her softly, like this was something they did everyday.

Hermione frowned but didn’t hesitate to push open her door and grant him entry, popping out her head for a quick second to make sure no one was following him. It was quiet, not a sound coming from any direction of the house, except for behind her where Remus was making himself comfy on her single chair, looking at a pile of books beside him.

A frown still on her, she gently shut the door behind her, moving forward – feeling strangely uncertain in her own room. Like suddenly she didn’t know where to sit or what to talk about or whether she should hide the faint tear tracks on her face.

“Stop fidgeting and sit down.” Remus mumbled as he held out the spare cup of tea, her hands reaching to grab it even as she glared.

“I thought they sent you here because you’re the nice one.” Hermione snapped, sitting down on her bed and taking a sip of her tea. Perfectly made to her liking, not too much milk and no sugar, despite his stern face, Remus knew how to make a good cuppa.

“No one sent me here, I came because I thought you could use some company.” Because she had ran away the moment the door had shut on Alphard and holed herself up in her room with memories of Grandparents long gone – trying to find what had seen in her, what life could have been like if she had stayed with them.

He watched her for a second, like he was waiting for her to speak, eyes darkening slightly and then looking away, a smile taking place on his face and his tea being placed on her desk as he reached for a book. “I didn’t know you had this – it’s one of my favourites.”

Her body relaxed as they drifted away from the matter at hand and instead onto one more familiar for the both of them. “Did your mum read them to you?” Her voice was soft as she pointed to the book in his hand before reaching up to play with necklace that Sirius had given her, that she had never taken off even when they weren’t speaking.

“Yeah, from her point of view they always seemed more magical...and tragic.” He spoke with a soft smile as he ran his fingers over the cover; Fairy Tales of The Brothers Grimm.

Hermione couldn’t stop the snort that left her mouth as she nodded her head in agreement. The real stories were more often than not tragic and cruel, but yet still read to read to children all over the world, to a lesser extent in the Wizarding World, for they had Beedle the Bard and other stories but Hermione hadn’t been able to resist when she saw the book in Godric’s Hollow.

It was no surprise that Remus’ Muggle mother had read him the stories, nor that he liked it so much.

“Personally I always preferred Perrault, his stories and poems seemed to have more meaning to them.” Hermione spoke, pushing away the faint and foggy memory of Marie reading to her, the melodic French seeming to make the whole story sound more beautiful. Or maybe that was her mother’s voice.

Remus frowned as Hermione stood up, moving to her bookshelf and searching for the old battered copy, one that her mother had cherished, pulling it out and offering it to Remus who frowned, his mouth moving to try and pronounce the words without sound.

With a chuckle she took it from him, letting out a cough and pretending to look over glasses to see him. "Le Petit Chaperon Rouge." His eyes seemed slightly glazed and he gulped, looking away with blush on his cheeks, even as she continued.

" On voit ici que de jeunes enfants,
Surtout de jeunes filles,
Belles, bien faites, et gentilles,
Font très mal d’écouter toutes sortes de gens
Et que ce n’est pas chose étrange
S’il en est tant que le loup mange
Je dis le loup, car tous les loups ne sont pas de la même sorte;
Il en est d’une humeur accorte,
Sans bruit, sans fiel et sans courroux,
Qui privés, complaisants et doux,
Suivant les jeunes demoiselles
Jusque dans les maisons, jusque dans les ruelles;
Mais hélas ! qui ne sait que ces loups doucereux,
De tous les loups sont les plus dangereux ."

A frown made it’s way to her face as she finished a soft blush on her cheeks. It wasn’t everyday she spoke in French, it wasn’t as instinctual as it had once been – when Marie spoke to her and Charlus continued her learnings, it rumbled through her throat, catching in places and stuttering in others.

Yet it almost felt like coming home, like connecting herself with the mother she had barely known. Her eyes filled with tears as her hand traced over the words, old and slightly faded but there – a part of her mother in an old story that wrapped itself around her heart and burned it’s words into her brain.

Remus coughed softly, her eyes snapping up to meet his own as he offered her a small smile and slight laugh. “No idea what you said but it sounds nice.”

For a second a smile made it’s way to her own face, her mouth opening to translate before a frown took it’s place and she gulped. “Oh it’s...erm...nothing important...it probably wouldn’t sound as good in English anyway.” A lie, and so boldly so that Remus raised his eyebrows and let out a scoff.

“ Why don’t I be the judge of that?”

“Nothing to judge, Remus, just leave it alone.”

“Hermione…” She had never been able to deny him things, to soft with their friendship and too doting, that a single look of those green eyes had her glaring and turning back to look at the book, trying to ignore the flush on her cheeks or the thoughts of an older Professor Remus, who had given Granger the same look many times.

“ We see here that young children,
Especially young girls,
Beautiful, well done, and nice,
It can hurt to listen to all kinds of people
And that it is not a strange thing
As it’s as long as the wolf eats
I say the wolf, because not all wolves are the same kind;
If h e is in a good mood,
Without noise, without gall and without wrath,
Who are private, complacent and sweet,
Following young ladies
I n to the houses, and even in the alleys;
But alas ! W ho does not know that these sweet wolves,
Of all the wolves are the most dangerous."