Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Taehyung would probably have to grow at least five extra sets of hands to count how many genuinely bad decisions he’s made in his life. 

When he was five years old, Taehyung remembers trying to fight an older kid at school who had been picking on his best friend at the time. 

The kid was easily four years older and twenty kilos heavier than Taehyung was, but he still had decided to stand up to the kid, his five year old brain thinking that he was stronger and more adept at fighting than he actually was. Taehyung was beaten to a pulp that day, heading home with a bruise around his eye and a busted lip that had his mother demanding to know who had done that to his face. But Taehyung had also stood up for his friend, so in his tiny, tiny brain, it wasn’t a terrible decision. 

When he was in high school, Taehyung made the disastrous decision of disclosing his sexuality to someone whom he’d considered to be his best friend. 

Taehyung had been questioning his sexuality for as long as he’d been told that he was supposed to be interested in girls. Taehyung had observed his friends start to take interest in the girls in their classes and always wondered when he’d start to feel the same way.

In his final year of high school, Taehyung realized that he didn’t think he would ever feel romantically or sexually attracted to girls. He’d been terrified out of his mind, but trusted his best friend enough to tell him that the only person he’d ever wanted to have sex with was Lee Byunghun. 

Taehyung went into the conversation feeling nervous, but Minsoo and him had been best friends ever since Taehyung took that beating for him in their first year of school, and he felt confident that his best friend would support him. 

Unfortunately, it turns out that Minsoo was a dick, because he immediately shunned Taehyung and spread his secret to the entire school, which ended with Taehyung’s parents hearing about him being gay from a neighbor, which essentially caused Taehyung to be shunned by his parents as well.

But, still, Taehyung thinks that deciding to move in with Park Jimin may be his worst decision to date.

🍯

Taehyung and Jimin meet during their freshman year of college. 

Leading up to his first year of college, Taehyung was so nervous every day that he basically felt like throwing up at any given moment. He spent the three months between his birthday and the start of school wondering if his parents hated him for the whole “being gay” thing, but none of them ever talked about it. Or, really, talked about anything anymore. 

He moves into his dorm with only his father helping him. His mother had told him that she would be too busy, not disclosing what it is that’s so important that she can’t help her son move in. Taehyung figures that she just didn’t want to spend two and a half hours in the same car as him. Because, when she had spilled that particular can of beans to him the week prior, Taehyung was entirely unsurprised. 

While his dad has spent the last three months ignoring the fact that Taehyung is gay, his mother has spent the last three months ignoring Taehyung entirely. 

Neither of his parents were thrilled with Taehyung’s “life choices” (as they would so delicately phrase it), but Taehyung thinks that his dad is at least trying to have some sort of bond with him. 

On their way into his dorm, with a few upperclassmen helping push his giant move-in cart through the halls, Taehyung’s father says, “Lots of good looking guys around here.” He sounds more awkward than Taehyung has ever heard him sound in his twenty years of life, but he appreciates the effort. “Don’t let it distract you from your schooling.” 

Taehyung feels grateful that even if his dad is making a super awkward joke, he’s making a joke, at the very least. He kind of sounds like Taehyung’s dad again. 

His dad leaves before Taehyung’s roommate moves in. His roommate is a fellow freshman named Jihoon and, very quickly, they figure out that they have mutual interests in the arts. Taehyung briefly wonders if dormmates are assigned by major since both of them are art majors, even if they have different focuses within their major, since Taehyung’s focus is in painting and Jihoon’s focus is in sculpting. Taehyung hadn’t filled out any roommate surveys or anything like that when he got accepted, so he doesn’t know if this is pure coincidence. 

They get along pretty well. The two spend Saturday and Sunday talking about the long list of things that they have in common, scoping out the art studios that all students have access to on campus, and getting street food from some vendors at a market that is only a short walk away from the college campus. Taehyung doesn’t mind the walk, but he does think that if he wants to go anywhere further, he should probably consider purchasing a transit pass. He’s not a huge fan of exercise and he’s mildly embarrassed by the light sheen of sweat that covers his forehead as he and Jihoon walk back to their dorm.

🍯

Taehyung meets Jimin during the first week of college. 

More specifically, Taehyung meets Jimin on his first day of college. 

Even more specifically, Taehyung meets Jimin at approximately eight in the morning on his first day of college. 

Taehyung had heard that almost all of the dorms at his college are coed. After all, his school is known as one of the more progressive universities in the country. Which, aside from the fantastic art program, is a huge reason that Taehyung wanted to attend this particular college in the first place. 

He’d heard the name come up on various conservative news stations (yes, unsurprisingly the news that his parents always had playing on the television in their living room) as a place that was indoctrinating young minds, but Taehyung has always just thought that it’s cool that he can maybe meet other people who like art and are gay. 

However, three-months-ago-Taehyung thought that applying for one of the coed dorms would have gotten him into even deeper shit with his mom, who he’s pretty sure is pretending that he’s straight and would definitely lose her mind at the idea of Taehyung sharing a communal bathroom with females, so he had chosen one of the all-male dorms. 

Naturally, Taehyung runs into the neighbors on either side of him quite often, especially for only having lived in the dorm for three days. The room on his left is a single, hosting some kid who is on a semester abroad. He’s white and American, but almost fluent in Korean. He always makes polite small-talk with Taehyung when they pass one another in the hall or in the bathroom, so Taehyung likes him well enough. 

On his right side, there are two boys who Taehyung thinks are kind of rowdy. Taehyung doesn’t quite know either of their names, only having caught the tail end of one of their names when he overheard one calling to the other, because they’ve never properly introduced themselves. Which, honestly, is pretty much entirely Taehyung’s fault. 

He hasn’t introduced himself because the boy who Taehyung’s fairly certain has a name ending in “-min” is probably the single most attractive person who Taehyung has ever laid eyes on in his entire life. 

The first time that Taehyung properly meets Park Jimin, he’s leaving his dorm room to go to the first class of his college career. 

Taehyung hasn’t quite figured out the most efficient way to get ready in the mornings yet, since he’s only been in the dorms for three days and he didn’t have to wake up for an eight a.m. class either of the two days prior. So he’s almost running late for his Music Theory I class because he had taken his toothbrush with him to the communal bathroom, figuring that brushing his teeth would be the last thing to do before leaving the dorm entirely, just like he had done when he lived at home. 

Unfortunately, Taehyung realizes while he’s brushing his teeth that he absolutely does not want to put his toothbrush into his backpack, so he’s running back to his room as fast as he can to put his toothbrush and toothpaste into their rightful spots. 

He quite literally runs into Park Jimin. 

Jimin, who Taehyung does not yet know is Jimin, is leaving his own dorm room, presumably to begin getting ready for his own first day of college, when Taehyung practically barrels into him at full speed. Taehyung really doesn’t want to make a bad impression with his first professor, and he hadn’t listened to Jihoon’s advice to scope out his class locations the day before, so running even slightly behind seems like a bad idea.

Yet Taehyung’s parents didn’t raise him to be impolite, so he stops to apologize to the boy that he had just knocked over, and help him back to his feet. 

While helping the stranger up, Taehyung had not expected to be stunned into silence, but he suddenly couldn't find the apology that was on the tip of his tongue when he looks at the guy in front of him.

Taehyung recognizes him as the single most attractive human being that he’s ever seen, whose name probably ends in “-min”, but seeing him up close is an experience that Taehyung is strong enough to admit that he is not prepared for. 

The guy still sort of has bedhead, hair sticking up in weird ways that Taehyung finds to be ridiculously cute. His lips are plump and pink and his face is round like a manggaetteok and Taehyung is enamored. Taehyung feels the apology, stuck in his throat with no way out, since his brain is apparently unable to form words, even though he should be saying sorry. So, instead of doing anything useful , Taehyung just stares at the poor guy that he just knocked over . 

“Oh,” the guy says, looking at Taehyung. “I am so sorry! I didn’t see you there.” 

He sounds so genuinely sorry, as though it really had been his fault and Taehyung hadn’t just become an American football professional for ten seconds. 

Taehyung blanches, trying to remember any words that he’s ever learned before. Instead of forcing himself to think too hard (because apparently remembering any words is too hard right now), Taehyung just parrots back what he’s just heard.

“No, I’m sorry,” he says, feeling dazed. “My fault.” 

“I just really wasn’t expecting my neighbor to be running through the dorms at-” The pretty boy pauses to look at his watch, “seven fifty-three in the morning.” 

Taehyung’s eyes widen. He only has seven minutes to make it to his first class of his college career and he doesn’t even know where it is. “Oh my god,” he says.

Pretty boy tilts his head, confused. 

“Uh, sorry again,” Taehyung spits out, already turning to start running away. “Gotta go!” 

And then Taehyung sprints away from the prettiest person he has ever laid eyes on in his life. 

He curses himself the entire sprint to the building that he had looked up on his map app earlier in the morning. How Taehyung managed to embarrass himself to the point that he firmly believes he will never be able to interact with this gorgeous human again, he doesn’t know. 

He supposes that it’s probably fairly accurate to who he is as a person. 

Taehyung, very thankfully, makes it into the classroom approximately thirty seconds before the class technically begins. There are only a few open seats in the very front of the lecture hall left, but Taehyung doesn’t mind sitting in the front, so he happily takes a seat near the podium.

The teaching assistant for the class waits for roughly five minutes, explaining that there are usually students who get lost on their first day, especially for an eight a.m. introductory course, so he likes to wait a few extra minutes. 

Taehyung’s fingers find their way to his damp hair, a reminder of the sweating he had done while running to the class, and he feels a bit embarrassed. Especially because he apparently didn’t need to sprint to the class and he really hates exercising.

Taehyung thinks that the TA laughs at him a bit, but when their eyes meet, the man looks away, so he can’t be entirely sure. 

A few straggling students wander in, filling the other empty seats surrounding Taehyung, and the teaching assistant introduces himself as junior Min Yoongi, a music production student, who absolutely loves music theory, which is why he happily accepted the TA position. 

Taehyung instantly thinks that Yoongi is really fucking cool. He hears a slight accent in Yoongi’s voice that reminds him of home and Taehyung immediately knows that his seonbae is from Daegu as well. 

Yoongi does the roll call, which apparently is only required by the university for the first two weeks of classes, and he smiles at Taehyung when he says a quiet - and still slightly out of breath - “Here.” 

Yoongi goes over the class syllabus and explains that he will facilitate approximately one-third of the lectures as part of his getting credits for being a TA, but that he will be in the classroom at all times. He also expresses that he’s usually a better person to try to get help from than their professor, since Yoongi is slightly more accessible than the professor is. 

When the class ends, Yoongi says, “Kim Taehyung” in a way that suggests he wants Taehyung to come to the small desk that he’s sitting at in the front of the classroom. 

Taehyung feels a bit awkward being called out, especially because there’s still a few other students in the room and he has another class that he doesn’t know the location of right after this class, but he approaches the small desk anyway. 

“Hello, Yoongi-seonbaenim,” he greets, bowing slightly. “It’s nice to meet you.” 

Yoongi smiles at him. Taehyung thinks that Yoongi has a pretty smile, but then he’s reminded of Jimin’s smile from earlier in the day and feels another wave of embarrassment rush through his body, so he chooses not to focus on Yoongi’s smile for too long. 

“Did you have a tough time finding the classroom this morning? You looked like you ran here,” he says in lieu of a greeting back. “I can help you find any of your classes if you want.” 

Taehyung smiles. “Oh,” he says, confused why an older, probably much cooler student would want to help him out. “Thank you, seonbaenim, but I don’t want to be a bother.” 

“Are you from Daegu?” 

Taehyung nods, feeling the warmth of someone from home flickering inside his chest. It’s obvious that Yoongi has lived in Seoul for a while, but his accent is still noticeable to Taehyung since he’s from the same area. 

“Cool,” Yoongi says. “It’s not a bother. I’m offering.” 

“Well,” Taehyung says, thinking about his hesitation to approach Yoongi’s desk because he has another class in - Taehyung looks at his watch - ten minutes and he doesn’t know where it is. “I actually don’t know where my next class is either.” 

Yoongi smiles again, placing the binder that he had been reading the syllabus out of into his own backpack. “Let me see your schedule,” he says, holding a hand out expectantly. 

Taehyung pulls his phone out, fumbling with the university app to find his schedule, and hands it over to Yoongi. 

“On your phone?” He asks, sounding disappointed and slightly judgmental. “Definitely print this out. The app gets so overwhelmed during the semester - especially during the first week - and you really don’t want to be unable to open this when you don’t know where a classroom is.” 

Taehyung nods. He probably won’t do that because the thought of even stepping into the library on the first day of the semester is terrifying to him, but he doesn’t want to have Yoongi give him that disappointed look again, so he pretends that he’ll be printing out his schedule at the first chance he gets. 

Yoongi points out various things to Taehyung on the walk to his next class. Not only stuff that the student orientation leader had shown him when he was on a tour of the campus, but also places that Taehyung can probably find Yoongi if he ever needs help with anything. 

Taehyung thinks that Yoongi is really, really nice. 

When they arrive at Taehyung’s next classroom, Taehyung actually feels a little anxious to leave Yoongi behind. But he also knows that he’s an adult who can deal with going to a class without a boy that he’s known for an hour and a half. 

“Give me your phone,” Yoongi says, holding out his hand once again. Taehyung immediately pulls it from his pocket and places it in Yoongi’s hand. Yoongi laughs, “Taehyung, you need to unlock it.” 

Taehyung blushes, taking his phone back and using his Face ID to unlock it. 

“Sorry,” he mumbles, watching Yoongi type out something on the device.

“Here,” Yoongi says, giving Taehyung his phone back. “My phone number is in there now. Use it if you need.” 

“You’re being really nice to me,” Taehyung says, voice a bit wary. He likes Yoongi and thinks that he’s really kind, but he isn’t used to strangers being this polite to him. 

Yoongi nods slowly, like he’s realizing something. “I don’t know why,” he says, pausing for just a moment. Taehyung gets a little more anxious about the time. “But I think that sometimes you just know when you’re meant to be friends with someone.” 

Taehyung cocks his head to the side, confused. 

“I felt that way about all of my other friends,” Yoongi explains. “Right off the bat - knew that we were going to be friends. Feel that way with you, too.” 

Taehyung smiles, feeling a bit more at ease. “Oh, cool.” 

“Now,” Yoongi says, gesturing to the room behind Taehyung. “Go into your class. And make sure to send me a text message so that I have your phone number as well.” 

Taehyung nods and bids Yoongi goodbye, feeling really happy to have made a friend. 

🍯

When he returns to his dorm room hours later, happy to have made it through his first day of classes, Taehyung feels incredibly ready to get dinner at the dining hall with Jihoon. Taehyung had gotten lunch by himself in one of the smaller food pods on campus that accepts meal swipes, not too keen on joining Jihoon at the food stalls once again and blowing through his savings. While eating and trying to not look like a loser eating lunch by himself, Taehyung sent Yoongi a text message, and Yoongi said that they would see one another soon, so Taehyung felt happy.

He drops his backpack on the chair tucked into his desk and takes out his planner, adding in the dates of all of the important exams that were listed in his syllabus. He’ll have to talk to at least one of his professors because his statistics and figure drawing finals are scheduled to be on the same day, at the same time, so he definitely needs to figure that out. 

“Hey,” Jihoon says, throwing his backpack down in similar fashion to Taehyung. “Are you ready to go?”

Taehyung nods, excited to eat and talk with someone while eating.

“I figured that we can stop by the club tables on the way there,” Jihoon says. “The common area apparently has all of the presidents and vice presidents of clubs at tables for the entire first week. Might be cool to sign up for some,” he says in a way that suggests he’s looking for a specific club to sign up for. 

Taehyung nods. The common area is below their cafeteria - if Taehyung remembers correctly from his tour - so they’ll be passing by all of the club tables anyway. 

“Sure,” he says. “I was in one club in high school and it sucked because there were, like, four of us who belonged to the club, which was not enough to get anything done. We’d almost always just end up drawing or painting,” he explains. Then, “Which I guess are actually my favorite memories of high school, so maybe it didn’t suck too badly.” 

Jihoon laughs, grabbing Taehyung’s arm to get him off his bed. “Let’s go, then. I hear that Hope World is the president of the dance club here and I want in on that.” 

Taehyung cocks his head to the side, though he is unsurprised to hear Jihoon give a specific club. “Who is Hope World?” 

“He’s an up-and-coming dancer on Youtube,” Jihoon explains as they lock up their room. “He goes by J-Hope, but his channel is called Hope World. He’s still in his undergrad here, but he’s been gaining subscribers like crazy on Youtube and TikTok. He made up that dance for Doja Cat’s recent song on TikTok” Jihoon tells him.

Taehyung vaguely remembers seeing that trend on his For You page before his TikTok algorithm figured out that he’s a gay art boy and started to tailor all of the videos he saw to that. 

“Oh, cool,” Taehyung says. “Maybe I’ll look and see what kind of art clubs the school has going on.” 

Taehyung isn’t too sure that he even wants to join an art club, though. He thinks that he should because he doesn’t want art to feel like a chore or something that he has to be doing for homework, but he also knows that his favorite time making art is when he’s alone. When it’s just him and his acrylic paints and whatever sad thoughts are floating around in his brain that are desperate to get onto a piece of canvas. 

Taehyung and Jihoon try to learn more about one another on their walk to the cafeteria. They’d spent so long over the weekend talking about their families and their general likes and dislikes, but they hadn’t gone any deeper than surface-level knowledge. 

Taehyung feels really grateful to have a roommate that he gets along with. He can’t imagine trying to live with someone who he doesn’t like.

The common area is filled with tables just like Jihoon had told him. One table near the entrance has significantly more people surrounding it than any other table and Jihoon immediately heads toward it, telling Taehyung to search around for whatever club he might like to join. 

Taehyung wanders around, looking at the poster boards with various club names on them. Some of them are expertly done, looking like something that Taehyung himself would be proud of making, and some of them use way too much glitter glue, but they all look like whoever made them had a fun time with it.

“Taehyung!” 

He turns around, looking for whoever called out to him. Taehyung thinks that it sounded a lot like Yoongi. 

“Taehyung, turn back around, you goofball.” 

Turning back toward the sign that has way too much glitter, Taehyung sees Yoongi sitting at the table with another - very handsome - guy. He smiles at Yoongi and makes his way to the table, finally noting that the glittery sign says “LGBTQIA+ CLUB” in bright pink.

“Hello, Yoongi-seonbaenim,” Taehyung says, bowing to both Yoongi and the other person at the table when he arrives. “That is a very pink sign.” 

“Thank you,” the stranger says. 

Taehyung definitely didn’t mean it as a compliment, but the stranger looks really proud of the poster, so Taehyung chooses not to let him know that the sign is very ugly.

“Hello,” Taehyung says, again. This time specifically to the handsome stranger. 

“Hi,” the stranger says. “My name is Kim Seokjin and I am the president of our very lovely LGBT club. Are you interested in joining?” 

Taehyung gets a little nervous at that question. He’s not exactly hiding his sexuality, but his negative experiences in high school have stunted his ability to be out and proud of being a gay man. 

“Hyung,” Yoongi shrieks. “You know that you don’t just ask people like that!” 

Seokjin shrugs. “The ‘A’ stands for allies, Yoongi-yah.” 

“Oh my god,” Yoongi says, looking fully done with Seokjin. Then he launches into a rant about how allies is definitely not a part of the LGBTQIA+ acronym, but rather aromantic or asexual would be more appropriate. 

Seokjin smiles in a smug way that suggests that he only said that to rile Yoongi up.

“Um,” Taehyung says, feeling a bit awkward standing there, watching Yoongi argue with Seokjin. “I am gay.” 

Seokjin snorts. “Yoongi has fantastic gaydar, so I figured when he came home talking about the sweet kid who he was going to make into his new best friend, that you were like us.” 

“Huh,” Taehyung says. “Must be why everyone was so quick to believe my friend in high school when he outed me to everyone. I didn’t know that you could just tell someone’s sexuality. Not when I didn’t even know my own for nearly nineteen years.” 

“Gay people flock together, Taehyung-ah,” Seokjin says, startling Taehyung with how casually he’s speaking. “Whether or not they know it. Yoongi has never become emotionally attached to someone so quickly who wasn’t, at the very least, questioning their sexuality.” 

Yoongi looks like he’s about to protest, but then shrugs in agreement. “Yeah, I think you’re right.” 

“So,” Seokjin says. “Wanna sign up? It’s really lowkey and just about finding a supportive community. We obviously live in a relatively homophobic country, and a lot of us in the club come from more conservative towns, so it’s a good way for us to all feel some sense of belonging.” 

Taehyung is a bit startled by the shift in Seokjin’s demeanor. He’s still upbeat, but his switch to serious is jarring. Taehyung thinks that’s probably a good trait to have in a president - someone who can make him feel both at ease and heard. 

“Oh,” Taehyung says, thinking that sounds really nice. He never had a lot of friends growing up, and especially didn’t have any other gay friends, so he’s not sure that he’s ever felt a sense of community. “That sounds really nice actually.” 

“Of course it’s nice,” Seokjin says. “We get together, abuse the food budget that each club is given, and sometimes share our gay trauma.” 

“Some of us are other sexualities, Seokjinie-hyung,” Yoongi reminds him. Taehyung wonders if it’s rude to ask what Yoongi’s sexuality is.

Seokjin rolls his eyes. “Sorry,” he says. Then, sounding a bit more annoyed despite the pleased look on Yoongi’s face, adds, “Sometimes we share our LGBTQIA plus traumas. We meet on Tuesdays at four-thirty p.m. and you’re required to come to one meeting a month to stay an active member of the club,” Seokjin explains, pushing a pink pen toward Taehyung. “If you want to sign up, that is.” 

Taehyung looks toward Yoongi. “Do you go to all of the meetings?” 

“I’m the vice president, so I am required to go to all meetings,” Yoongi confirms. 

Taehyung writes his name on the sign-up sheet, noting that it’s the first on there, along with his school-issued email address.

“Cool,” he says. “Thanks for calling out to me - I was way too focused on how pink this sign is to even register what was written on it.” 

Yoongi laughs and Seokjin glares. “Well,” Seokjin says, clearly pretending to be more angry than he is. “We’ll see you next Tuesday, then. We’re here doing sign-ups all this week, so our first meeting will not be tomorrow. It will be next Tuesday instead.” 

Taehyung nods, feeling overwhelmed with all of the information that he’s gathering and overstimulated from all of the noise around him. 

“You can text me your dorm, or we can meet up somewhere else beforehand if you’d like,” Yoongi offers and Taehyung feels a sense of relief spread through his body. “I know that going to a club meeting for the first time can be terrifying if you’re alone.” 

Taehyung would like that a lot, so he nods. “Sure, seonbae,” he says, bowing once again. “That sounds really nice. Thank you.” 

Yoongi nods. “You can call me hyung,” he says. “Since we’re officially adopting you into our group and all.” 

“There’s a whole group?” Taehyung asks, craning his head to see if Jihoon had managed to sign up for the dance club yet. He still sees a sea of bodies surrounding the one table, but is unable to make Jihoon out in the crowd. “That’s a bit scary.” 

“Us and our two roommates are in the club,” Yoongi explains. Taehyung nods like that makes sense to him, because it does. Yoongi and Seokjin give off a certain energy that he thinks only platonic roommates are capable of giving off. “Hyung and I founded the club and now we like to think of all of the members as our children.” 

“Ugh,” Seokjin says, the corner of his mouth twisting in what looks like disgust. “Don’t call them that. You know that I am actively pursuing Namjoonie and Hoseokie - calling them my children is just gross.” 

“Those are our other two roommates,” Yoongi explains to Taehyung. “Living with the three of them is my own personal hell, I’m pretty sure,” he says, but he’s still smiling so Taehyung assumes that it’s not too bad to live with them. 

Taehyung nods, like anything that they’ve said in the last three minutes means anything to him. 

“So,” Yoongi says. “We can meet up before the meeting, then? That’s fine?” 

“Yeah, that’s fine, Yoongi-hyung,” Taehyung says, smiling. He likes the sound of “hyung” on his tongue for Yoongi and Seokjin. “That sounds nice.”

He feels better having Yoongi with him, and by next Tuesday, they’ll have seen each other at least three more times. so Taehyung believes that he’ll feel even more comfortable by the time that the first meeting actually comes around. 

Thankfully, before Taehyung has to awkwardly pretend to be interested in other clubs so as not to overstay his welcome in front of the LGBTQIA+ club table, Jihoon finds him. 

“Fuck yeah,” he says, clapping a hand on Taehyung’s shoulder. Yoongi grimaces a bit, as though he felt the pain for the harsh clap himself. 

“Sorry,” Jihoon amends, laughing. “That’s just a tough club to sign up for. Even just for the auditions, there’s an insane list.” 

Taehyung raises an eyebrow. He’s glad that he doesn’t have to try out for Yoongi and Seokjin’s club. 

“Wow,” he breathes. “All because the president of the club is on Youtube?” 

Jihoon nods. “If - no - when I join that club and you come to one of our performances, you’ll see why people want to be in the same room as him,” he explains. “He was my bisexual awakening, and still one of the only two men I have ever had a crush on.” 

Seokjin suddenly glares at Jihoon, but Yoongi laughs and playfully hits Seokjin again. 

“Oh,” Jihoon says, turning toward the table as though he’s noticing it for the first time. “Oh, cool,” he says, reading Seokjin’s very pink sign. “I’d sign up, but I have to be really confident in my dance abilities or else I will do terribly at the auditions and I am manifesting my audition going so well that J-Hope proposes to me on the spot-” Another glare from Seokjin and a snort from Yoongi confuses Taehyung immensely, “-and I won’t have time to be in two clubs this semester, you know?” 

Yoongi nods. It’s the same type of nod that Taehyung had given him earlier. Clearly confused, but not wanting to be rude, so agreeing for the sake of agreeing. 

“Anyway,” Jihoon says to Taehyung. “Ready to eat dinner?” 

Taehyung nods, bidding a farewell to his two new hyungs, and follows Jihoon up the stairs to the cafeteria. 

🍯

Taehyung meets Park Jimin for the second time in the communal laundry room.

Taehyung, unfortunately, has an absolutely abysmal sleep schedule. It gets especially worse when he’s feeling stressed out. And, though Taehyung wouldn’t say that his first week of college had been particularly stressful, he still can’t sleep. 

He had talked with Yoongi and Seokjin often throughout the week. Yoongi had invited him to join the two of them at the club table during the common hours that the campus has in the middle of the day - essentially an hour where no students have classes and can eat lunch - and Taehyung decided to take him up on that offer for two of the other four days of the week. 

He spent a good amount of his time at the table talking with Seokjin, getting to know him better. Taehyung really thinks that Seokjin is funny, constantly making Taehyung burst into a loud laughter that he thinks is kind of annoying but that Seokjin and Yoongi had seemed endeared by. 

Seokjin had made jokes about himself to ease Taehyung into the conversation and then teased Taehyung to make him feel a bit more like he belonged there with them at the table. Taehyung hadn’t seen many people sign up for the club throughout the week, but Yoongi explained that that’s actually fairly normal. He also told Taehyung that it’s the major reason that the LGBTQIA+ club is one of the few clubs on campus with an open sign-up policy, meaning that they accept new club members year-round. He explained that, because sexuality is something so personal, everyone might not feel comfortable signing up during the first week of classes, in the middle of the crowded common area, but him and Seokjin still want to encourage anyone to join the club when they feel like they need it. 

So Taehyung wasn’t feeling stressed because he felt alone.

He also hadn’t really gotten any homework. A few assignments here and there, but with lectures just starting, the workload is still fairly light and not really causing him much stress either. 

But, still, he finds himself unable to sleep on the second Monday of his college career, nerves swirling through his stomach at the thought of the first LGBTQIA+ club (apparently a name that Seokjin loathes and Yoongi loves) meeting that he’ll be attending. 

Despite feeling comfortable with Yoongi and Seokjin, and knowing that Yoongi is going to be with him the entire time that he’s at the meeting, Taehyung still feels really fucking anxious.

Taehyung tries to fall asleep for roughly half an hour before deciding that if he’s going to be awake, he might as well do something productive. Taehyung hasn’t gotten much homework, but he’s thinking about the statistics homework that he has to do. His statistics class is pretty laid back, and the syllabus outlines exactly what problems are due and when. The first set of problems aren’t due until Thursday, but Taehyung figures that there’s no harm in getting them started now. 

Unfortunately, when Taehyung tries to use the small desk lamp that’s installed on the desk provided by the University, it just won’t turn on. He grumbles a bit, still being as quiet as he can with Jihoon sleeping closely nearby, annoyed that he can’t even be productive with his temporary insomnia. 

With homework out of the question, Taehyung sits back on his bed and tries to figure out what he wants to do with his time. He’s probably got two hours before he’ll be able to fall asleep and needs something to do to tire himself out. 

Then Taehyung remembers that despite being in the dorm for a little over a week, he hasn’t done any of his laundry yet. Taehyung had figured that it would be easiest to get his laundry done during the weekend, when he didn’t have any classes, but it seems like literally everyone else on his floor had that idea. Taehyung had gone to the laundry room multiple times throughout Saturday and Sunday and had yet to come back to his room with a clean load of laundry. Every single time that Taehyung wheeled his hamper to the communal laundry room, every last washing machine and dryer was filled with someone else’s clothing. Taehyung had heard horror stories of people emptying out other student’s laundry when the machines weren’t running, but Taehyung knows that he would feel insanely guilty if he did that, so he just kept returning with the hope that a washer would free up. Unfortunately, they never did.  

Taehyung estimates, based on his limited laundry cleaning at home, that a full cycle of washing, drying, and folding his clothes will take him about an hour and a half. Also, knowing his body, Taehyung is certain that he won’t fall asleep in that time. So Taehyung hauls himself out of bed and exits the room, laundry hamper and small caddy filled with detergent, fabric softener, and dryer sheets in tow. 

“Oh,” Taehyung says accidentally, upon entering the communal laundry space and seeing the boy from last week, whose name he still isn’t sure of, sitting on the floor with a textbook in his lap. “But it’s kind of late.” 

The boy looks up at him and a smile blooms on his face. Taehyung falls in love even harder.

“It is,” he agrees. “But I couldn’t sleep well. I’m generally a night owl and my roommate snores really loudly. Easier to exhaust myself outside of the room so I don’t have to think about him snoring.” 

“Oh,” Taehyung repeats, words once again disappearing from his brain entirely when faced with this pretty man. “I just can’t sleep.” 

The boy nods like he understands that. 

“What’s your name?” The boy asks. “You’re the kid that I met in the hallway last week, right?” 

Taehyung nods. He thinks that the boy puts it a lot more nicely than Taehyung would have. He wouldn’t exactly call what happened to the two of them “meeting,” but he supposes that he’ll take pity from the pretty, pretty boy. 

“I’m Taehyung,” he introduces himself. “Kim Taehyung.” 

“Park Jimin,” the boy - Park Jimin - says, standing up and bowing toward him. Taehyung blushes because he doesn’t think it’s necessary. He’s already run Park Jimin over. “It’s nice to officially meet you.” 

Taehyung nods before remembering to actually start doing his laundry. He walks over to the washing machine, telling Jimin that it’s nice to meet him as well, as Jimin sits back on the floor. He turns over the whole hamper into the washer, thinking that his mother would absolutely scold him for it if she ever bothered to talk to him again. 

Jimin’s eyes don’t leave Taehyung as he pours the detergent and fabric softener into the machine. 

“Did you find your class last week?” Jimin asks him. “It looked like you were running late, maybe,” he supplies as though Taehyung could ever forget the time that he tackled the most beautiful human he’s ever laid eyes on. 

“I found it,” Taehyung confirms, sliding down the wall to sit next to Jimin. “I met my hyung there, actually. He’s been really nice and helpful to me this week,” Taehyung explains. “He must have felt bad for me at first because I was, like, drenched in sweat when I got to the classroom, but I think we’re on our way to becoming proper friends.” 

Talking about his friendship with Yoongi is definitely easier than talking about himself, so it’s what Taehyung chooses to do. He’d much rather tell Jimin way too much information about his newly developing friendship than just hang out in the laundry room in silence. 

Jimin nods, something like a pained expression that confuses Taehyung on his face. “Well,” he says. “I can watch your clothes if you wanted to go back to your room.” 

“Oh,” Taehyung says. He hadn’t even thought about the fact that Jimin probably doesn’t want to talk. He can’t think of many other reasons why Jimin would choose to do his laundry at two in the morning on a Tuesday. 

“I’m sorry. I’m actually hoping to hang out here while it cleans,” Taehyung says. Then, he rushes to add, “I only brought my phone so that I could, like, watch TikToks, but I brought my headphones, so I won’t bother you!” 

“You’re no bother,” Jimin says, sounding like he means it. “Not a lot of people like to stay with their laundry, is all.” 

Taehyung nods. He understands that . If he had been able to find an open washer over the weekend, he probably wouldn’t have hung around waiting for his clothes. 

“I just couldn’t sleep,” Taehyung reiterates. “Was going to get started on some homework, but my desk lamp doesn’t work.” 

“I don’t think that any of them do,” Jimin laughs. “My hyung told me that secret when I complained about mine not working in dance class last week.” 

“Oh? You dance?” 

Jimin nods. 

Taehyung supposes that makes sense. He had only seen Jimin standing for a moment, but he definitely has the build of a dancer. He’s built really similarly to Jihoon, actually. 

“My roommate has his audition for a dance club on campus this week. He’s really nervous about it, but he’s pretending like he isn’t.” 

“For which club?” Jimin asks, seeming genuinely interested in hearing about Jihoon. 

Something ugly bubbles in Taehyung’s stomach at that thought. He tries to force it down, reminding himself that he literally learned Jimin’s name ten minutes ago, so he has no reason to be any bit possessive of him.

“I don’t remember what it’s called,” Taehyung admits. “But the president of the club is apparently lowkey famous? Jihoon knew who he was before he ever came to the campus. I’m actually a bit convinced that he came here just to be on this boy’s dance team.” 

Jimin nods, smiling like he knows something that Taehyung doesn’t. Taehyung simply assumes that Jimin is also auditioning for that same dance club, probably also knows of Hope World. 

“I’m a dance major,” Jimin says, responding to Taehyung’s earlier question. “Been dancing for as long as I can remember. Always wanted to do it professionally, too.” 

“I get that,” Taehyung says, thinking about his own art. Of course, all kids draw and want to be good at it, but it had been clear from a young age that Taehyung had an exceptional talent in drawing and painting, especially realism and portraits. “I’ve always wanted to be a professional artist. Have my works hung up in fancy museums all over the world- overtake Van Gogh as the artist with the largest single-artist museum, you know?” 

Jimin laughs. “Is that true? He has the largest art museum dedicated to just his art?” 

“Yeah,” Taehyung nods. “Then Andy Worhol has the largest in North America. I don’t know who has the largest in Korea, but I know that we have the most private art museums in the world.” 

“Wow,” Jimin says, sounding genuinely interested in what Taehyung has to say. He looks down at his textbook once again. “Are you an art major, then?” 

“Sure am,” Taehyung answers. “For a lot of my life, I felt like art was the only way that I could ever express myself. When I was going through shit in high school- like, self-discovery shit- painting was my biggest escape,” he explains. “It never helped me figure anything out, not that I realized at the time at least, but it made me think less about it all.” 

Jimin nods like he can relate. 

“I get that ,” he echoes Taehyung’s earlier sentiment, but he doesn’t elaborate, instead continuing to take notes from his textbook, so Taehyung assumes that the conversation is over. 

Taehyung puts in one airpod and starts scrolling through TikTok to pass the time. He watches through roughly forty art videos before he realizes that the washing machine has stopped.

Taehyung is swapping his wet clothes into the dryer when Jimin starts folding his own. 

“Are you liking being in college?” Taehyung asks, making small talk. Their dorm is one of the freshman-only dorms, so Taehyung feels very confident in his assumption that it’s Jimin’s first semester as well. 

“I do like it here,” Jimin says, folding a pair of pajama pants that look suspiciously similar to the top that he had just folded. Taehyung has to actively avoid thinking about Jimin wearing matching pajamas to bed because he knows that his heart just can’t handle that level of cuteness right now. “I used to come to campus to visit my hyung from my hometown when I was doing my exams. I always knew that I wanted to come to this school to dance with him.” 

Taehyung nods, once again feeling a simmer of jealousy in his stomach. He tries to ignore it, but he can’t help but want to be closer to Jimin, even if he’s quiet and awkward while Jimin doesn't seem to have an antisocial bone in his body. It might be Taehyung’s extreme RBF, but he doesn’t get the vibe that Jimin has a hard time in social situations, whereas Taehyung’s spent most of their interaction internally monologuing. Plus, even in their short conversation, Jimin’s mentioned multiple friends and Taehyung only has his roommate and Yoongi, who took pity on him on his first day. 

“That’s cool,” Taehyung barely manages to say.

The conversation dies out once again and Taehyung doesn’t have anything cool or funny to say to try to revive it, so he slides back down the wall and starts watching TikTok videos once again. 

When Jimin is carrying his basket of folded laundry out of the room, he stops before leaving. “It was nice to meet you,” he says, sounding sincere. “I hope that we can meet again soon.” 

Taehyung feels his heart flip in his chest. 

He’s known for a few years that he’s attracted to men, but he’s never actually felt attraction to someone that he knows before, and it’s causing him to forget how to act. 

“Yeah,” Taheyung says, practically whispering. “That would be nice.” 

Taehyung watches videos on his phone until it’s time to fold his own laundry, When he finally settles back into his own bed, Taehyung feels the heaviness in his eyes that indicate he’ll be falling asleep soon, and the time is just after four in the morning. His alarm will be going off in approximately four hours, but Taehyung doesn’t mourn the lost sleep. Not if it meant that he got to talk to Park Jimin. 

🍯

Yoongi, as promised, meets Taehyung outside of his dorm building at four in the afternoon on Tuesday. 

“Hey, hyung,” Taehyung greets, unable to stop himself from yawning. 

Yoongi gives him a curious look. “You’re not pulling all-nighters already, are you?” 

Taehyung shakes his head. “No, I’ve just never slept well. Sometimes it takes me hours to fall asleep because the thoughts in my head just won’t turn off,” he admits, omitting his late-night trip to the laundry room. “I usually do my homework or chores to combat it- wait. Speaking of: hyung, do you know where I can get a desk lamp from?” 

“Do those installed above the desks still not work?” Yoongi asks and Taehyung shakes his head. “God, none of them worked when I was a freshman either, but you’d think that they’d have updated it with all of that money that they keep asking alum for.” 

Taehyung nods. He doesn’t know anything about how much money the school asks for from the alumnus, but Yoongi also seems strangely passionate about it, so he keeps quiet. 

“Anyway, I have a great eye for interior design and I love to bargain shop, so hyung will take you to get a new desk lamp,” Yoongi says, like the plans are already set, so Taehyung agrees. 

“Thank you, hyung,” he says, smiling. “I’m really glad that we met. I was so nervous that Jihoon would be the only person that would even tolerate me here and that he might only be doing it because we live in the same room, but you and Seokjinie-hyung like me, so that’s really cool.”

Yoongi scoffs. “Of course we like you. You make us laugh and you’re polite. Hoseok is my dongsaeng and he’s a brat and he has a dongsaeng who is somehow even more disrespectful-” 

Taehyung laughs at Yoongi’s rant and Yoongi blushes.

“Okay,” he amends. “Maybe not disrespectful, but he’s definitely cheeky and likes to play into it. Hoseok's apparently known him for his entire life and I fully believe that he let his dongsaeng get away with way too much shit when they were younger. He probably always did and now the kid has no clue how to respect his elders without ribbing them a bit-” 

Taehyung is still nervous about the meeting, but he feels a bit more at ease with the way that Yoongi is talking about the people in his friend group. Even though it seems like Yoongi doesn’t really know Hoseok’s dongsaeng all that well, Taehyung is still feeling relatively more relaxed. 

“- and Hoseok is not only bringing him, but also bringing their younger friend to the meeting today,” Yoongi continues. “I haven’t met him yet- he’s apparently whip-smart and skipped a year of school. So I think that he’s a year younger than you, but still a freshman. But I bet he’s a brat as well! How could he not be?” 

Taehyung laughs. “Hyung, don’t judge the poor kid before you’ve even met him.” 

“He’s apparently very sensitive about being called a kid,” Yoongi informs him. “He’s nineteen and will let everyone know it, according to Hoseok.”

“Noted,” Taehyung says as they walk up the stairs of the building where the meeting must be held. “How many people do you think will be there? And do we have to introduce ourselves? Like, in the weird college ice-breaker sort of way because I am not comfortable giving a fun fact about myself or doing a dance move or anything like that,” Taehyung says, words coming out quickly and jumbled. 

Yoongi stops, hand reaching out for Taehyung’s arm. “Whoa, hey. Are you okay?” 

Taehyung nods, hoping that Yoongi doesn’t notice how fast his breathing is now.

“Nervous,” he admits. Then, mumbling, adds, “Not that great in front of people.” 

“That’s okay,” Yoongi soothes. “There’s nothing wrong with that at all.” 

He instructs Taehyung to take a few deep breaths. And though Taehyung feels silly, he complies and matches his breathing to Yoongi’s own.

When his breathing has slowed down enough to his liking, Yoongi says, “There’s no pressure to introduce yourself. Like Seokjinie-hyung said, it’s really lowkey. I doubt anyone but the seven of us will be there anyway, since it’s the first meeting and all.” 

Taehyung nods, feeling a bit better. “And the other five people are your friends?” He asks, thinking about the people who Yoongi had lovingly been complaining about on the walk over. 

“More or less,” Yoongi laughs. “Remember that I haven’t even met one of them yet. And barely met another once.” 

“Oh. Right,” Taehyung says. He takes another deep breath, steadying his mind to focus on the meeting about to happen, and he’s pleased that his heart rate doesn’t spike this time. “Okay, I’m ready, hyung.” 

Yoongi nods. “Cool,” he says, holding onto Taehyung’s sleeve the entire time that they walk to the room. 

When they enter, Taehyung is surprised to find that the third time he meets Park Jimin, it’s at the LGBTQIA+ club’s first meeting of the semester. 

“Oh,” he says, wondering if he’ll ever start a conversation with the beauty that is Park Jimin with a simple ‘hello’. He thinks that he probably won’t because he’s always entirely thrown off by seeing him so he doesn’t have time to convince his brain to say normal things to him.

“Glad to see all of you,” Yoongi says, looking around the room. His eyes linger on one of the people who Taehyung hasn’t met for a second longer than everyone else, and Taehyung automatically assumes that this boy is the youngest dongsaeng who skipped a year, because Yoongi looks surprised as well.

He pulls Taehyung into the room entirely. “I figured that it would be just the seven of us today, but I can’t say I hate to see it. In fact, I’m kind of relieved.” 

“You two were almost late,” Seokjin says. “It’s four-thirty now .” 

Taehyung blushes, looking down at his watch. “Sorry, hyung. I was nervous about coming here and Yoongi-hyung was helping me feel better about it.” 

Seokjin’s face turns sympathetic and he stands from the chair at the front of the room. It’s a bit out of the way of the rest of them, and facing the rest of the chairs, so Taehyung thinks it must be the President’s chair. 

Seokjin walks to him and practically pulls him out of Yoongi’s grasp. “Nothing to be nervous about,” he says, one of his hands going to Taehyung’s shoulder in the same way that Taehyung’s dad’s used to, something oddly comforting in the gesture. “Everyone here is super cool and you’ll get along with them all.” 

“Okay,” Taehyung says, kind of wishing that Seokjin would go back to the front of the room because everyone’s attention seems to be on him and he doesn’t love that. 

Seokjin seems to notice his discomfort and smoothly changes subjects. “Actually,” he amends. “I’ve only met Jimin twice and I’ve never met Jungkook before three minutes ago, so I don’t know that you’ll get along with either of them or that they’re nice, but I can definitely speak really highly of Hoseokie and Namjoonie.” 

Yoongi snorts as Taehyung looks around at the rest of the group, eyes catching on Jimin, who is already looking at him with something curious in his gaze. 

“Hello,” Taehyung says, bowing. 

“Finally someone polite,” Seokjin laughs, pulling Taehyung toward the chairs and directing him to help move them into a circle. 

As Taehyung helps him, Seokjin says, “Hoseokie and Jiminie have never behaved polite a day in their life. Must be why they haven’t bothered to introduce themselves.” 

Taehyung knows that Seokjin is joking by the smile in his voice, but also because the other two people in the room had not attempted to introduce themselves either. And, also, neither had Taehyung. 

“Excuse you,” the boy who Taehyung assumes is Hoseok says. “I didn’t introduce myself yet because I was still introducing Namjoon and Jungkook to one another.” 

“And I didn’t introduce myself because we already know each other,” Jimin says, smiling at Taehyung. “It’s nice to see you again, Taehyung.” 

Something about that statement makes two of the boys (Taehyung’s assumptions of Jungkook and Hoseok) whip their heads toward Jimin. Jimin very deliberately pretends not to notice. 

“You too, Jimin,” Taehyung says, hoping that his face isn’t bright red right now.

Seokjin introduces the rest of the group to one another fairly quickly, including Yoongi since Jungkook had never met Yoongi, Namjoon, or Hoseok prior to the meeting. Taehyung had been right about which boy was who (and, yes, Jungkook and Hoseok had been the two who looked at Jimin strangely moments earlier) and Jungkook is the boy who Yoongi’s eyes had been lingering on when they came in. 

“So,” Seokjin says. “Welcome to our LGBTQIA+ club, formed as a scam by our very own Min Yoongi as a way to get the college to pay for us to eat while we bitch about our problems.” 

Yoongi glares at Seokjin despite the joke getting a few chuckles from the group. 

“Yes,” Yoongi says. “I did think that it would be a good way for that to happen, but more importantly, Seokjinie-hyung and I wanted to help create a safe place for those who don’t often find it in our country. Both of us will always be here if you need help with anything. From a place to stay to help with your chemistry homework.”

“You’re so cool,” Jungkook whispers. Then his face blooms bright red like he hadn’t meant to say that out loud. Hoseok snorts like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard and Jungkook blushes even harder. 

Yoonig’s face turns noticeably red as well, but everyone in the circle seems to politely ignore what just happened.

The rest of the meeting is actually more business-like than Taehyung had been led to believe it would be, but he figures that it must be because it’s the first one and there are three new members who showed up for the meeting. Seokjin and Yoongi also take turns reading passages out of the University’s handbook, something that they explained is required of all clubs during their first meeting. 

When the meeting ends, Taehyung is standing by the door, waiting for Yoongi and Seokjin, who had promised to take him out for ramyeon. Yoongi had said that it was not only a treat for his first college club meeting, but also for successfully completing his first week of school. Seokjin also sneakily tells Taehyung that Yoongi’s birthday is this week as well, so he and Taehyung can make sure that Yoongi doesn’t pay. 

However, it’s been nearly fifteen minutes since the meeting ended and Seokjin hasn’t stopped talking to Hoseok and Namjoon (Taehyung briefly remembers Seokjin mentioning that he’s trying to win these two over, and Taehyung wonders if Hoseok and Namjoon are dating or if none of them are dating at all), and Yoongi and Jungkook are tucked into a corner of the room talking to one another. 

That draws Taehyung’s interest a bit. In all of their time spent together in the last week, Yoongi had mentioned that he doesn’t crush on people easily at all, but after some light teasing from Seokjin, admitted that when he does crush, he crushes hard. And Taehyung thinks that it looks a lot like crushing at first sight right now. 

“Hey,” Jimin says, startling Taehyung as he approaches from the side. 

“Oh,” Taehyung says, hoping that Jimin didn’t see him jump slightly. “Hey.” 

Jimin laughs, seeming a bit shy, but still sounding really bright and genuine. “Wasn’t exactly expecting to see you here.” 

Taehyung sighs. “Really?” 

“Oh, I didn’t mean to offend you,” Jimin says. “I just heard that Yoongi-hyung was bringing his new friend and I didn’t realize that you were that friend.” 

Taehyung hums, wondering why it is that everyone around him just seems to think that they know his sexuality when Taehyung himself had spent years struggling to figure it out. 

“Seriously,” Jimin says. “I didn’t have any preconceived notions about your sexuality or if you should come here or anything like that.” 

Taehyung doesn’t believe that, but he also doesn’t think that Jimin was trying to be mean to him. They don’t know each other, and Taehyung hadn’t participated in disclosing any of his self-discovery with the group, so there’s no way that Jimin could have known that Taehyung is sensitive about people speculating his sexuality. 

“Your friends seemed surprised that we knew one another,” Taehyung says, changing the subject so that neither of them feel uncomfortable any longer. 

Though maybe it’s only Taehyung feeling that sense of unease. Talking to Jimin in broad daylight, who is dressed in jeans and a nice sweater is a lot different from talking to nighttime laundry room Jimin, who was wearing a too-big t-shirt and sweatpants. 

He’s not sure why, but Taehyung’s much more nervous now than he had been last night. And, truth be told, Taehyung was really nervous about talking to Jimin the night before. 

Jimin’s cheeks briefly turn pink, which is also interesting to Taehyung, especially because he doesn’t understand why. 

“Ah, ignore them,” Jimin says instead of explaining why Hoseok and Jungkook were confused. And, then, suddenly, asks, “Hey, do you want to go to dinner? I was supposed to get food with Hoseokie-hyung and Jungkookie, but they both seem to be a bit preoccupied.” 

Taehyung turns to find that Jungkook and Yoongi have migrated to sitting down, seeming even more immersed in their conversation than they had been before.

“Oh, wow,” Taehyung says.

Jimin snorts. “Oh, yeah. Jungkookie’s heard a lot about Yoongi-hyung- mostly from Hoseokie-hyung and a bit from me- over the last few months, so I think he was already halfway in love with him. It doesn’t hurt that, physically, Yoongi-hyung is exactly Jungkook’s type. Those two are going to hit it off, I can tell.” 

Jimin says the last sentence with such finality that it has Taehyung believing him. “You can tell when two people are going to hit things off romantically?” 

“I think I’m pretty good at it,” Jimin says, smiling contagiously. 

The two leave without saying goodbye to the rest of the group and Taehyung makes himself a promise to get Yoongi a nice birthday present. He doesn’t feel too bad, though, because everyone else is too engrossed in their own conversations to notice Jimin and Taehyung leaving. 

“Do you like ramyeon?” Taehyung asks. “That’s what hyungs and I were planning to get after the meeting.” 

Jimin laughs. “I bet I know exactly where they were planning to take you. Hoseokie-hyung took me and Jungkookie to this small place that they all love when we visited a few times before,” Jimin explains. “Let’s go there. I’d really like to eat ramyeon with you.” 

Taehyung’s heart flutters in the way that it always seems to when Jimin is around, but he tries to push that feeling down for the sake of becoming friends. 

🍯

After the first club meeting, Taehyung and Jimin start meeting one another on purpose. 

They exchange phone numbers outside of their dorm rooms when they’ve finished eating ramyeon and drinking just a little too much. They’re giggling and clinging to one another, a little tipsy on both soju and their newfound friendship.

Taehyung slips into his dorm room, wholly unsurprised to see that Jihoon isn’t home. His roommate has been practicing really hard for his audition on Thursday, practically spending all of his free time in the dance studios on campus, and Taehyung feels really proud of Jihoon. Taehyung loves passionate people, loves to watch the people that he cares about work hard at what they enjoy, loves to be friends with people like that. 

Taehyung wants to sleep, just to take a tiny nap, but he knows that he’ll end up sleeping the entire way through the night until his alarm goes off in the morning. And since it’s only about seven-thirty in the evening, Taehyung does not think that’s a super great idea. 

He probably should work on some homework, but Taehyung’s not entirely sure that he wants to attempt to decipher the meaning of The Kiss by Gustav Klimt while he’s partially inebriated, so instead he takes out his own paints and a small canvas. Since getting to school, Taehyung hasn’t quite had the chance to create his own art. 

Taehyung knows that there are a few studios on campus where students are encouraged to go and express themselves, or to use for whatever school work they’ve been assigned, but Taehyung doesn’t feel like walking to any of them right now. Plus, he assumes that the paints provided by the school are probably good, but lower quality than the ones that his dad had bought him. 

Thinking of his dad, Taehyung feels the overwhelming desire to talk to his parents. And he means really talk to them. In the way that he had been able to before he’d been forced to come out to them.

His parents had always been really supportive of him becoming an artist, supplying Taehyung with his own debit card when he was a teenager, which they would put a monthly allowance on for Taehyung to do whatever he wanted with. 

Most of Taehyung’s friends also got allowances from their parents; but while they would spend the money on snacks at the PC cafe that they liked to go to, or on movie tickets for dates, Taehyung almost always spent the entirety of his allowance on new art supplies. 

Not only would they help supply Taehyung with art supplies, but they also filled their home with Taehyung’s paintings. The wall beside the staircase had not only pictures of Taehyung throughout each of his years in school, but a painting beside each of those portraits to show how Taehyung’s artistic skill developed throughout the years. There’s a family portrait hanging above the mantle in the living room that Taehyung had done when he was just starting high school, too, and Taehyung’s mother had cried when she saw it in the art show at his school. 

Taehyung’s favorite painting that he’d ever made, however, is placed above his parents’ bed. It’s a portrait that he’d done based on a photo from his parents’ wedding day. He had gifted it to them for Parent’s Day the year prior, a love letter from child to parent, and he thinks that his heart had never been fuller. 

On their drive up to Seoul, his dad had pulled into the parking lot of Taehyung’s favorite art store, saying that Taehyung could get whatever he wanted. Taehyung felt close to his father once again, for just a moment, and selected the things that he’d been meaning to buy when he finally got to restock- a few canvases, a pack of the acrylic paints that he usually uses, and some charcoal pencils since he knew that he would be taking a few drawing classes in his time at university. 

When they returned to the car, Taehyung was surprised when his dad handed him a pack of expensive acrylic paints. A brand that Taehyung had always longed to buy but had been too impatient to actually save up for himself. Taehyung cried a little that day, finally feeling like his dad might love him again. 

Now, in his dorm, Taehyung realizes that using them for the first time while tipsy is probably not his greatest idea. However, he can’t get the image of Jimin, seated across from him at the small table in the ramyeon restaurant, laughing at whatever stupid joke that Taehyung had been telling just to make Jimin laugh, out of his head. 

He feels like he needs to get it on canvas before he loses the inspiration. 

Not the image, though. Taehyung thinks that might linger in his mind forever. 

He ends up painting for nearly four hours until Jihoon gets back to their dorm room. When his roommate enters, bursting through the door to look for his pajamas so that he can shower and go to bed, Taehyung looks at the small alarm clock next to his bed, which tells him that it’s just after eleven at night. He hadn’t even realized that he spent so long working on the portrait. 

Jihoon, to Taehyung’s relief, barely notices Taehyung sitting at the desk working on something. He quickly leaves with his bath caddy in hand, not sparing a glance toward the painting sitting on Taehyung’s desk. 

Taehyung breathes out a sigh of relief. Neither Jihoon or Jimin have mentioned seeing or knowing one another, but they quite literally live next door to each other and share a communal bathroom, so Taehyung can’t say for certain that they don’t know one another. So, reluctantly, Taehyung moves the mostly dry painting to underneath his desk, figuring that it’s the safest place for it to dry while also staying hidden from his roommate. 

Taehyung pulls out his laptop, opening the document that his art history professor had uploaded into their university app, and finally starts on his art history homework, trying to ignore the itch to paint Jimin that is still thrumming beneath his skin.

🍯

“Hey,” Jimin says, taking a seat next to Taehyung in their building’s cafeteria, a few months after they first met one another. It’s the beginning of May and Taehyung has just registered for his summer courses, figuring that it would be easier to pretend that he’s not headed home due to schooling, rather than due to his mother refusing to talk to him. “How was your morning?” 

Taehyung tries not to blush. He thinks that he’s getting better at being around Park Jimin without hearts shining brightly in his eyes, but there are times that Taehyung has to put all of his energy into focusing on controlling his body’s natural reactions to Jimin being close to him. 

In some ways, spending more time together has been beneficial for Taehyung’s (tiny) crush. He’s no longer too nervous to spend time with him and he doesn’t quite trip up on his words all the time any longer. Taehyung and Jimin have been hanging out together more often than Taehyung hangs out with Yoongi, so it’s safe to say that Jimin is on his way to becoming one of Taehyung’s closest friends. 

They’ve done tons of stuff together. They’ve gone to dinner solo and with other friends in their group. They’ve done homework together in the library, laughing so hard that they once got kicked out of the library and Taehyung is fairly certain that they’re banned from the second floor now. They’ve watched YouTube videos while laying side-by-side in Jimin’s bed until one of them falls asleep. 

The time together is also really bad for Taehyung’s crush on Jimin. 

As Taehyung gets to learn more about Jimin- about the kind of person that he is and what he likes and what he’s passionate about- Taehyung has a harder time convincing himself that his crush is something tiny that he’ll be able to get over any time soon. 

Because Taehyung learns so much about Jimin in the months that they’ve spent together.

Taehyung learns that Jimin had begged his parents to be put into ballet when he was five years old after his parents had taken him to see a Christmas performance of The Nutcracker . Jimin, at such a young age, had wanted to be as elegant and beautiful as the dancers who he had seen on stage. Jimin tells him about how he learned how to dance to hip-hop when he met Hoseok, but that his first love will always be ballet. Taehyung learns that Jimin is very confident in his dancing abilities, but that he’s always eager to learn more, and Taehyung falls a bit more into his crush on Jimin. 

Taehyung learns that Jimin came out to his parents when he was young, too. He hadn’t quite grasped the concept that, by Korean societal standards, he was supposed to fall in love with someone of the opposite gender. When Jimin was small, maybe in year one, Jimin thinks, he’d come home talking to his parents about the boy from class that he had a crush on, and his parents had always been really supportive of him.

It makes Taehyung’s heart fill with delight and jealousy. Delight that Jimin was so readily accepted by his parents, and a bit of jealousy that his own parents hadn’t given him that same grace. Taehyung thinks that he should try to call his mom, even if they don’t talk about anything any longer. He misses her voice.

“Oh,” Taehyung says now, watching Hoseok and Jungkook take up the other seats at the round table that they’re sitting at. Then, he suddenly remembers that Jimin asked him a question, and says, “My morning was okay. It hasn’t been that long since we saw each other in the bathroom this morning.” 

Next to him, Namjoon snorts, so Taehyung sends a small glare in his direction. 

“No,” Jimin agrees. “But didn’t you have an exam in that class that Yoongi-hyung is the TA for?” 

“Ah,” Taehyung says, suddenly worried that he’s blushing once again because Jimin remembers something so trivial. “Yeah, I did.” 

“It wasn’t really an exam, though, right?” Jungkook asks, not making eye contact with Taehyung. 

Taehyung hasn’t become as close to Jungkook as he has to the others in their friend group. Simply put, Taehyung’s had less opportunities to hang out with his younger friend. Granted, Taehyung now spends all of his free-time either hanging out with Jimin, painting portraits of Jimin, or painting abstract representations of his feelings for Jimin, so that’s why on Taehyung’s part. 

Though he really wants to become closer with all of his friends. Especially Jungkook, Hoseok, and Namjoon. He just really doesn’t know that he has the time for one-on-one hangouts right now. Maybe in the summer when Jimin goes back to Busan. Or maybe they can have one of those game nights at the hyungs’ apartment like Yoongi’s always suggesting. 

Out of all of them, though, Taehyung wants to get to know Jungkook the most. 

Taehyung and Yoongi have become very close friends. They see one another three times per week in class and often spend time together outside of class, grabbing lunch or meeting up to do homework. They’re still not close enough that Yoongi tells Taehyung everything yet.

But Taehyung’s kind of convinced that Jungkook and Yoongi are dating now. Or, at the very least, engaging in some sort of courtship ritual and on their way to dating. 

The two definitely spend more time together than even Taehyung and Jimin do. Taehyung thinks that Yoongi may spend more time with Jungkook than he spends with his roommates, or all of them combined. 

There have been multiple occasions where Yoongi has rushed Taehyung to his second class on Mondays (because, yes, Yoongi walking him to that class has become something of a tradition for them) because he wants to get Jungkook a coffee before Jungkook’s first class of the day. The first time that this happened, Yooongi’s cheeks were bright red and Taehyung made a joke about him being whipped for their younger friend, which Yoongi didn’t even try to deny. 

There have also been numerous times where Yoongi is just distracted. Whether it was while Yoongi, Seokjin, and Taehyung were at lunch, or while Yoongi and Taehyung were studying in the library, Taehyung would glance up at Yoongi, who would be quietly on his phone, cheeks pink and a wide smile on his face. 

Once, when Taehyung was feeling particularly lonely and ignored, he petulantly asked, “What’s so interesting on your phone, Yoongi-hyung?” 

Yoongi had been unable to sense that Taehyung was being needy and simply smiled, saying, “Jungkook was just telling me about something that happened to him today. Sorry.” 

Now, when the seven of them all gather together, Yoongi and Jungkook quickly find one another, pulled together like magnets, entering into their own, hushed conversation. Seokjin always pretends to gag, but Taehyung kind of thinks it’s cute that they exist to one another like there’s no one else in the world. 

Taehyung wants to fall in love with someone in the same way that Yoongi and Jungkook are falling in love.

So, because Yoongi is who Taehyung would consider to be his best friend, and Jungkook is Yoongi’s potential lover, Taehyung would like to become closer friends with Jungkook. 

Now, in the cafeteria, Taehyung answers him. “I guess it wasn’t really an exam. More like an essay.” 

“Open book essay,” Yoongi confirms, nodding at Jungkook. Then, rolling his eyes, adds, “All of them complain about doing it as though it’s the hardest thing that they’ve ever done in their lives, though.” 

Taehyung scoffs. “I didn’t complain about it even once!” 

“Not what Jiminie said,” Hoseok pipes up from across the table. Taehyung glares at him, too, but it only makes Hoseok giggle, so Taehyung doesn’t consider it to be an effective form of threat.

“Yoongi-hyung,” Taehyung whines, desperate to not see that same look of disappointment on his hyung’s face that he’d gotten on the first day of classes when Yoongi saw that Taehyung had not scouted out any of his classes at all. “I love that class so much and would never complain about any of the work that you or Professor Choi assign us.” 

Yoongi shoots Taehyung an unimpressed stare, so Taehyung makes his eyes as wide as possible and sticks his bottom lip out in a pout, hoping that acting cute will get Yoongi to let him off easy. 

He quickly stops his pout when Jimin starts violently coughing next to him. 

“Are you okay?” Taehyung asks, hand immediately going to Jimin’s back in case he needs to, like, force something out of Jimin’s windpipe. 

Jimin nods, swiftly standing up, and says, “Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll be right back.” 

Hoseok stands up as well, presumably to follow Jimin to the bathroom, still giggling about something. 

“Man, I hate when that happens,” Taehyung says. 

Namjoon raises an eyebrow at him. “When what happens, exactly?” 

“Water down the wrong tube,” Taehyung says, pointing to his own throat, assuming that Jimin had just choked on some water. “It’s the worst.” 

Jungkook snorts, then turns his attention back to Yoongi. Taehyung feels a bit empty without Jimin sitting beside him. 

🍯

The semester finishes quickly and without any real fanfare. 

Jimin, Jungkook, and Hoseok leave for the summer break while the rest of their group stays on campus. Taehyung is sad when he learns that Jihoon is also leaving for the summer, so he’ll be in an empty dorm for over a month. 

Taehyung fills his time by taking the two courses that he’d signed up for. He’s never been very good at science, so he decides that the summer is the perfect time to take his required Chemistry course since he only has to focus on it and one other class. 

He also tries to paint more things that aren’t related to Jimin. He and Namjoon often go to local parks where Taehyung paints the scenery while Namjoon enjoys it. Yoongi invites Taehyung to the campus studios with him where he’s allowed to sketch drawings of Yoongi working on different songs. 

Taehyung thinks that they all sound like love songs, but Yoongi staunchly refuses to answer any questions that Taehyung asks, including if the songs are all about Jungkook. However, judging by the pink that paints Yoongi’s cheeks, Taehyung has no doubt in his mind that they’re about Jungkook. 

Taehyung also spends nearly every night on video chat with Jimin.

It hadn’t started until about two weeks into the summer session. Sometime during the first week of July, Jimin had sent Taehyung a text. 

Jiminie > Me
[8:04 PM]
I’m starting this new show on Netflix
It’s really weird to be starting it without you, though

Me > Jiminie
[8:04 PM]
that’s because we spent the whole semester watching everything together
but now you’re a few hours away :( 

Jiminie > Me
[8:07 PM]
We could still watch together
Like, Netflix party on Discord, you know?

Me > Jiminie
[8:08 PM]
pls hold
i have no clue what discord is
but i will set it up

The summer passes by quickly and Taehyung only hears from his father once. It’s a text message asking him if everything is going okay. Taehyung calls him, but his father doesn’t answer the phone, and Taehyung cries himself to sleep. 

When the new semester starts and Jimin’s returned to the school, Taehyung asks if it’s okay for them to crawl into Jimin’s bed. Jimin says yes, of course, and turns on some show that Taehyung thinks they watched toward the beginning of their friendship. 

He spends a lot of time crying in Jimin’s bed that day, but Jimin holds him through the tears and Taehyung is thankful that he’s able to push aside his feelings if it means having such a great friend. 

🍯

More time passes and the air starts to get chilly outside as they enter into late October.

The seven people in their friend group rarely all get to meet up, especially with schedule changes meaning that it was impossible for all of them to be at lunch together now, outside of their weekly LGBTQIA+ club meeting. Taehyung has voiced multiple times that they should come up with a cooler name, or at least one that’s easier to say since Seokjin and Yoongi had decided on using the English letters for the club name, but Yoongi had said, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” and the conversation was over. 

However, they are all going to a Halloween party at one of Namjoon’s friend’s off-campus house, where they will get to hang out and drink together for the first time. 

Taehyung has only ever drank when he went out to dinner with Jimin, Seokjin, or Yoongi, feeling too shy to order alcohol when he was out with anyone else, so he’s excited to get to share this experience with all of his friends. 

Plus, Taehyung has never dressed up for Halloween before. It’s becoming a more popular thing to do in certain parts of the country, but it hadn’t quite caught on in his small town in Daegu, so he’s looking forward to showing off his pirate costume to his friends. He’d had one of his friends named Kai, a fashion design major, help him ramp up the costume he’d ordered off the internet, so it actually looks kind of sexy. 

Taehyung and Jimin had planned to meet outside of their dorm rooms at eight p.m. sharp. Now, however, it’s five after and Taehyung is just standing outside his dorm room dressed as a sexy pirate, and people keep staring as they walk by, so he decides to just try to enter Jimin’s room.

In the semester and a half that they’ve been friends, Taehyung has learned that Jimin’s dorm room pretty much has an open door policy. And by that, Taehyung means that both Jimin and his roommate never remember to lock their door, so it’s quite literally always open. 

Taehyung tries the door. As expected, it’s unlocked. 

“I’m telling you,” Taehyung hears Jungkook say. “I think that he likes you. And Yoongi-hyung thinks so, too!” 

Jimin sighs, but Taehyung can’t quite see either of them yet, only hears them. “”I just don’t think that’s true. I don’t see it- and it doesn’t matter anyway! You’ll listen to anything that Yoongi-hyung says, even if it’s not true. He could say that the sky is purple and you would defend him with your life.” 

Jungkook scoffs. “Well, sometimes the sky is purple.” 

“Hello?” Taehyung calls out, deciding to make his presence known. He still doesn’t know if Yoongi and Jungkook are dating, but he’s not about to find out accidentally. 

Jungkook and Jimin round the corner. Taehyung suspects that they were standing near Jimin’s closet, which is why he couldn’t see them. He doesn’t think that Jungkook or Jimin could see him either. 

“Oh. Hey,” Jimin says as Taehyung takes in Jimin’s outfit. He’s pretty sure that Jimin’s supposed to be dressed as an angel, but the sheer fabric of his costume has Taehyung thoughts less than godly. Then, looking at his watch, Jimin adds, “Oh my god, you must have been waiting out there for, like, ten minutes! I’m so sorry.”

Taehyung shrugs. “Lots of people were looking at me weirdly, but that’s all that really happened.” 

“Yeah, not too many people dress up for Halloween. Even up here,” Jungkook says, looking awkward. He’s dressed as a police officer, with an outfit that's probably two sizes too small. Taehyung thinks that he and Yoongi are going to be in similar states of horny distress the entire night since this is how their crushes are dressed up. 

“So,” Taehyung says after a beat of silence. “Are you guys ready to go?” 

Both nod, giving one another quick looks, probably wondering how much of their conversation Taehyung had overheard. And, if Taehyung’s being honest, he’s going to pretend that he hadn’t heard any of it. Mostly because he’s not interested in finding out who Jimin is worried about having a crush on him. 

He knows that other people think that Jimin is very attractive, funny, and a nice person. Knows that, logically, other people probably have a crush on Jimin all of the time. He’s just not interested in watching it happen.

Mostly, Taehyung really wishes that his crush would just pass. He really wants to be able to also talk to Jimin and Jungkook about whoever is crushing on Jimin, and hear all of Jungkook’s sappy thoughts about Yoongi, but until his heart doesn’t feel like exploding every time that he’s around Jimin, Taehyung just doesn’t think that is possible. Because he knows that his heart should not hurt so much knowing that Jimin is interested in someone else.

The three of them walk to the off-campus house. They could have taken the bus, but Jungkook had seemed nervous to get onto a packed bus in costume, and Taehyung remembers Jungkook vaguely mentioning having some social anxieties in one of their club meetings, so he had suggested that they walk to the party instead. He had pretended that he didn’t mind, even though he’s out of shape and knew that the twenty-ish minute walk would make him sweat like nothing else, but he thinks that the sweat is worth it for the look of relief on Jungkook’s face when he makes the suggestion. 

Once they arrive, Jungkook immediately finds Yoongi and heads toward the corner that he, Seokjin, Hoseok, and Namjoon are in. They’re all crowded around a plastic, white table, playing some kind of drinking game.

“Do you think that they’ll be dating soon?” Jimin asks, nodding toward the table, smirking a bit. 

Taehyung watches as Yoongi spots Jungkook, eyes lighting up as Jungkook approaches him and arms opening immediately to pull Jungkook into a hug. 

“I honestly couldn’t tell if they already were dating or not,” Taehyung admits. 

Jimin raises an eyebrow, grabbing onto Taehyung’s sleeve to pull him into the kitchen. “You and Yoongi-hyung don’t talk about that kind of stuff? Like, who you like and everything?” 

Taehyung shakes his head, not recalling a time that he or Yoongi had ever really talked about their feelings. 

“Seokjinie-hyung told me when we first met that Yoongi-hyung doesn’t get crushes on people,” Taehyung explains. Jimin hums, prompting Taehyung to continue. “I always assumed that he and Jungkook have a thing for each other, though. Yoongi seems really happy when Jungkook’s around. Though I don’t see them together all too often anymore with our class schedules.” 

Jimin grabs a bottle of something and begins to mix it with Diet Coke. He holds the bottle up, asking Taehyung if he’d like some as well. Taehyung doesn't really drink besides soju when he goes out for barbeque, but he wants to get rid of his nerves, so he nods. 

“You don’t hang out with them?” Jimin asks, pouring the second drink. “Aren’t you and Yoongi-hyung best friends?”

“Yeah, we are, but…” Taehyung says, drifting off as he tries to think of how to explain this thought. Mostly, he doesn’t see Jungkook and Yoongi together because of their class schedules, but he also gets the feeling that Jungkook isn’t very comfortable spending time with him without everyone else in their friend group. He settles on saying, “They like to spend time alone.” 

Jimin tilts his head, considering Taehyung. “Jungkookie has a hard time opening up to people,” he says, handing Taehyung a plastic, red cup.

Taehyung nods, urging Jimin to go on. “For me and Hoseokie-hyung, we had to keep seeking him out and letting him know that we were interested in becoming friends with him before he started to show us that he wanted to be friends with us, too.” 

Jimin doesn’t say anything more and Taehyung wonders if that’s supposed to explain anything to him at all. 

“What?” 

Jimin laughs, fondly rolling his eyes. “Jungkook wants to be friends with you. He just doesn’t know how to show it.” 

Taehyung wants to argue with that. So he points out, “Him and Yoongi-hyung have been practically attached at the hip since they met. No problems showing each other that they were interested in being close to one another.” 

Something that Taehyung can’t quite place shines in Jimin’s eyes.

“Sometimes, I think that we just meet people who we know are going to be really important to us,” he says. Taehyung realizes that he’s probably thinking about whoever he and Jungkook had been discussing earlier in the night. Something unpleasant twists in Taehyung's gut and he wishes that the feeling would go away. “I think that’s what happened with them.” 

“Have you felt that before?” Taehyung asks. His voice is quiet, not really appropriate for the loud kitchen.

But Jimin smiles softly, nods again. “Yeah, just once.” 

“Oh,” Taehyung says, feeling his heart break slowly. “That’s cool for you.”

Jimin nods, smile turning a bit sadder now. 

“I don’t know that he feels that way back yet, though. He’s really hard to read,” Jimin says and Taehyung feels his heart crack a tiny bit more. He’s determined not to let it show as Jimin adds, “I hope he’ll feel that way about me some time, though. Even if he didn’t right away.”

Taehyung wonders what type of person would be crazy enough to not want to marry Jimin on the spot, but saying that out loud would definitely tip Jimin off to the fact that Taehyung is halfway in love with him already, so he chooses to keep that thought in his brain. 

“I hope he’ll feel that way about you someday, too,” Taehyung says. He figures that he might as well start playing the supportive friend role now. “You definitely deserve it.” 

Jimin nods, that distant, sad look still in his eyes. “You ready to go see everyone else? I haven’t seen Hoseokie-hyung since our dance club meeting this week and I miss him.” 

The quick change from somber to bubbly throws Taehyung off a bit, but he decides to stop questioning everything that he thinks he knows about his friends tonight and just live in the moment. 

The rest of their friends are still in the same spot, with Seokjin writing some English letters on Namjoon’s arm, apparently as part of the game. 

“Hey,” Jimin shouts as they arrive at the table. “What’s up, bitches?” 

Yoongi pulls away from Jungkook for a quick second to give Taehyung a hug.

“Hey,” he says. “Thanks for making Jungkook comfortable on the way over. He really appreciated it.” 

Taehyung shrugs. It wasn’t a big deal to him and he says as much to Yoongi. 

“He’s too shy around you to ever say that to you, though,” Yoongi shouts over the music. “But he was really glad that you suggested walking. And I know that you hate physical exercise, so thank you.” 

Taehyung slides down the wall, taking a seat on the floor. He tries to keep up with the game that his friends are playing, but he’s not sure what game it is. Plus, if Namjoon and Hoseok’s indignant shouts are anything to go by, Seokjin appears to be making up the rules of the game as he goes. 

He thinks that Yoongi and Jungkook are already out of the game, since both of their arms are covered in sharpie marks and they’re sitting together on a small armchair that Taehyung has no doubt Yoongi dragged over to the corner once he realized that that’s where their small group would spend their night. 

It’s hard to deny that Jungkook and Yoongi could be romantically involved when Jungkook is literally sitting in Yoongi’s lap, but Taehyung politely decides to wait until either of them announces a relationship to assume anything. 

After lightly harassing some of their friends, Jimin joins Taehyung in sitting on the floor. Taehyung tries to ignore the fact that their sides are pressed against one another. 

“They’re cute, too, right?” Jimin asks, using his red cup to point to their three hyungs around the table. Seokjin and Hoseok are fighting over the sharpie because Hoseok wants to be the person to write on everyone now, even though he doesn’t seem to know the rules of the game at all. 

Taehyung nods. “Seems our friend group has a knack for falling lowkey in love,” he says, immediately regretting it since Jimin is clearly crushing on someone outside of their group of seven. 

But Jimin just laughs and Taehyung lets himself bask in the fact that he can feel every shake of Jimin’s body against his own.

“You’re right,” Jimin agrees. “Yet no one is dating!” 

Taehyung sinks further into the floor and takes a sip of the awful concoction that Jimin had created. Of course he won’t tell Jmin that it’s awful, but he will definitely decline if Jimin offers to make him another one. 

He watches his friends for a minute. Watches as Namjoon, Hoseok, and Seokjin are all roughhousing around the table, all clearly having fun drinking and just being with one another. 

He watches as Jungkook, courage taking over his body seemingly out of nowhere, kisses Yoongi silly for the first time. Watches as Yoongi, shocked and happier than Taehyung thinks he’s ever seen him, kisses Jungkook back with just as much fervor. Jimin spends the entire time whooping loudly beside him. 

He watches as his friends all laugh and joke around, feels as Jimin slides back down the wall to sit pressed up against Taehyung, and feels contentedness fill his heart. 

🍯

Taehyung is on a mission to make Jungkook one of his best friends.

Taehyung really loves everyone in his friend group. He still gets dinner weekly with Seokjin and Yoongi. After the last LGBTQIA+ club meeting, he and Namjoon had spent hours afterward sitting in the meeting room, talking about how it took them both a really long time to figure themselves out, which was different from the rest of their friends, who had all always known about their own sexual orientations. He and Jimin and Hoseok had all hung out together on various occasions. 

But now that Yoongi and Jungkook are officially boyfriends, Taehyung wants to win Jungkook over as a friend more than ever. 

Coincidentally, on a Monday in late November, they’re both leaving the dorm building at the same exact time to have a study session with Yoongi in the library. 

Taehyung had sort of planned for this to happen. He’d asked Yoongi if he could join in on his and Jungkook’s next study session, or if Jungkook could join in on theirs, because he thinks that frequent exposure is going to be his best bet for becoming best friends with Jungkook. 

He didn’t plan, however, for Jungkook to be leaving Jimin’s dorm room at the same time that Taehyung would be leaving his own. It’s just an added bonus for Taehyung. And a lucky one, at that, because Taehyung had actually intended to leave roughly ten minutes before he actually left, but he had just woken up from his Monday-midday nap (a proactive byproduct of continuing to do his laundry at approximately one-thirty in the morning every Tuesday in order to spend more alone time with Jimin) and he really needed to wash his face before leaving for the library. 

“Oh,” Jungkook says, a brief flash of panic in his eyes. Taehyung would be offended if he didn’t think it was so cute. “Hey, hyung.” 

“You’re heading to the library?” Taehyung asks, knowing full well that's where Jungkook is going. Then, he adds, “Yoongi-hyung said that he invited you to join us today.” 

That had been another part of Taehyung’s idea. He didn’t want Jungkook to know that he was the one inviting their youngest friend to their study group. He thought that the idea might scare Jungkook off, or at least make him nervous, so he wanted Yoongi to invite him to join them. Thankfully, Yoongi had just smiled and said okay since he wanted Jungkook and Taehyung to be close as well. 

“Yeah, if that’s okay,” Jungkook says, eyes wide. “I told hyung that I don’t have to come with you guys. I don’t want to be the kind of boyfriend who takes up all of Yoongi-hyung’s time, you know. I definitely want you guys to still be able to hang out by yourselves like you did before-” 

“Jungkook,” Taehyung says, cutting off Jungkook’s (cute) rambling. He appreciates the sentiment from Jungkook, is glad to know that Jungkook is supportive of all of Yoongi’s friendships, but he obviously doesn’t mind Jungkook joining them sometimes. “I’m happy that you’re joining us.” 

Taehyung’s choosing his words carefully, and he hopes that at some point he’ll be good enough friends with Jungkook where he doesn’t have to make careful and elaborate plans to hang out, but he always wants to avoid sentiments like, ‘I don’t mind,’ or, ‘It’s fine,’ where it might not seem like he actively wants Jungkook around. 

“Really?” Jungkook asks. 

“It’s nice for us to spend some time together,” Taehyung says as they walk across the courtyard. “We haven’t gotten to spend much time together despite the fact that you’re dating my best friend.” 

“Ah,” Jungkook says, hand rubbing the back of his neck like he’s embarrassed. “Yoongi-hyung and I were really absorbed in each other at first.” 

“It’s cute,” Taehyung says and he finds that he really means it. He wishes that Jungkook would stop feeling the need to apologize to him. “You two are really cute together.” 

When they arrive at the library, Taehyung and Jungkook both walk toward the same table in one of the back rooms on the first floor. It makes Taehyung laugh that Yoongi clearly has a favorite study table in the library. 

Approximately ten minutes of awkward silence go by without Yoongi showing up and Taehyung and Jungkook both begin to grow concerned about it. 

“Um,” Jungkook says, tapping his cell phone that’s laying on the table, making the lock screen light up with the time. “He told you five-thirty, right?” 

Taehyung nods. 

“Yeah, right. I thought so,” Jungkook says, looking quite worried. 

“I’m sure he’s fine,” Taehyung, not used to being a hyung quite yet, immediately says, going  into soothing mode. 

At that moment, Taehyung feels his phone vibrate and sees that Jungkook’s lights up as well. 

“See,” Taehyung says. “That’s probably him right now telling us that everything is fine.” 

And sure enough, when Taehyung reads the many text messages coming through on his phone, they’re all in a group chat created by Yoongi. 

Yoongi-hyung > Me, Jungkook
[5:42 PM]
hey
i’m so sorry
i’m working on getting there
but hoseokie hurt his ankle in one of his dance classes today
he’s being a dick about resting it, though
and namjoon is in class
so i’m sitting on top of him while seokjinie-hyung (lovingly) elevates his ankle
hyung is searching for frozen veggies in the freezer rn
but as soon as he finds something and can take over pinning hobi into place, i’ll be there

“I hope Hoseokie-hyung is okay,” Taehyung chuckles, looking up at Jungkook.

But Jungkook looks like he’s choking on something. His face is red and he looks kind of sweaty and Taehyung is mildly concerned. 

“Are you okay?” Taehyung asks. 

“God, Yoongi-hyung is so fucking hot when he’s being all caring and shit,” Jungkook says, the words tumbling out of him in a rush. Almost immediately after saying it, however, he blushes, looking like he can’t believe he’s just said that. 

Taehyung bursts out laughing, unable to stay quiet, which earns him a glare from a girl sitting at the table next to them. 

Jungkook looks vaguely offended, but also embarrassed, and Taehyung is so wildly endeared by his younger friend. 

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook offers. “It’s really awkward to talk about how hot I find your best friend in front of you.” 

Taehyung shrugs. He’s sexually attracted to men, so he knows that Yoongi is an attractive person. Plus, in the month that Jungkook and Yoongi have been together, Jungkook’s wardrobe has had a dramatic increase in turtlenecks and scarves, so Taehyung is aware that they’re fairly active as a couple. 

He thinks about how he could possibly get closer to Jungkook, how he can let Jungkook know that it’s okay to talk to him about these kinds of things, then he thinks about his own similar feelings about Jungkook’s friend. 

Though they’re close, Taehyung doesn’t think that Jimin and Jungkook consider one another to be best friends. He’s heard Jimin and Hoseok use the term for one another, but he’s never heard Jungkook and Jimin use the term. 

Taehyung wonders if he can become Jungkook’s best friend as well. 

“Well,” Taehyung says, feeling extremely nervous. For all he knows, Jungkook might immediately take anything that Taehyung says directly back to Jimin and then no one in their friend group will ever want to talk to him again because of how awkward his feelings will make everything. But Taehyung gets the feeling that Jungkook won’t tell Jimin, so he pushes forward. “We could talk about how hot I find one of your friends.” 

Jungkook’s eyes widen for a brief second, looking slightly shocked, and then he laughs. “Really?” 

Taehyung nods, wondering just how obvious he’s been that Jungkook isn’t asking if he’s talking about Hoseok or Jimin. 

“Yoongi-hyung thought that you might be interested in him, but he didn’t know for sure.” 

“Jiminie is really something else,” Taehyung shrugs, cheeks beginning to burn. “He’s someone really special.” 

By the time that Yoongi finally joins them, assuring them that Hoseok has finally agreed to rest after Namjoon got home and both Namjoon and Seokjin began to fuss over him, Jungkook and Taehyung have gone over so much of their own histories, bonding over their past traumas and telling one another funny stories, that Taehyung would now consider them firmly to be friends. 

“Makes me feel so useless,” Yoongi grumbles, still talking about Hoseok. “I wish the three of them would just get their shit together and fuck.” 

“Hyung! You know that it’s important that they all talk about their feelings and intentions before they have mind-blowing, three-way sex,” Jungkook complains, looking a little too wistful about the idea of a threesome for Taehyung’s liking. 

“Why do you always have to be so right?” Yoongi asks as he kisses Jungkook on the cheek and takes a seat next to him. 

Taehyung fake gags and Yoongi gives him the middle finger.

“Sorry for being late,” Yoongi says, addressing both of them. “I hope you know I didn’t mean to ditch you for over an hour.” 

“It’s fine, hyung,” Taehyung shrugs. Then, smiling, adds, “In fact, I think that it allowed Jungkookie and I to get a lot closer than we could have if you were here!”

“Great,” Yoongi says, rolling his eyes as he grabs out a stack of paper that Taehyung recognizes as an assignment from the class that Yoongi TAs. “Now I feel useless here, too.” 

The next day, Taehyung sees Jimin and Hoseok dancing together in the courtyard, doing funky moves that Taehyung’s body hurts just looking at, and Hoseok doesn’t look like he’s hurt at all.

Taehyung chuckles to himself and silently thanks Yoongi for setting him and Jungkook up.

🍯

Taehyung’s favorite part of the week, no questions asked, is when he’s doing his laundry in the early hours of Tuesday. 

It might seem weird. Especially because when Taehyung was thirteen and his parents had told him that he had to start washing his own clothing, he had been so averse to the idea that he went without doing laundry for so long that his parents had to ground him from leaving the house until he had washed, dried, folded, and put away all of his clothing. 

However, washing his clothes in college means roughly an hour and a half of uninterrupted alone time with Jimin. 

They hadn’t planned it, not really, but Taehyung had shown up to the communal laundry room during his third week of college, just slightly earlier than the first time he’d gone, in hope of Park Jimin also being there. 

To Taehyung’s pleasant surprise, Jimin had been sitting in the same exact place that he had been the week prior, with the same textbook in his lap. When Taehyung rolled his hamper into the room, Jimin looked up at him, smiled, and said, “Hey, again.” 

They’ve been doing laundry together ever since. 

“Hey,” Jimin says now, like he always does when Taehyung drags himself into the laundry room. Today his hamper is filled with more dirty clothes than normal since Taehyung has spent so much time in the art studio on campus this week. 

In all of his major classes, Taehyung’s been assigned his final projects, which include various different fine art styles since he’s required to take a variety of art classes, despite his specialization being in painting. 

Taehyung thinks that he had packed just as many clothes that he likes to paint in as he had packed clothes that he doesn’t paint in and his haul definitely shows that this week. 

Taehyung smiles back, heart feeling like it might stop like always. “Hey.” 

He and Jimin spend a lot of time together. Not as much in the last week or so as usual, but they still spend a pretty significant amount of time together. But Taehyung thinks that laundry-room Jimin is his favorite version of Jimin. 

He’s not sure if it’s because it’s the only time that he ever sees Jimin wearing his glasses, or because it’s the version of Jimin that often shares more personal information about himself, or if it’s just the fact that it has become some of the only time that they get to be alone together. 

Taehyung just knows that one-thirty in the morning on Tuesday is his favorite time with, arguably, his favorite person.

“Two loads?” Jimin asks, watching Taehyung empty his hamper into two separate washing machines. “Did you change three times per day or something?” 

Taehyung blushes. “Well, you’re not really wrong. I had to change a lot because of how much I was painting this week.” 

Jimin nods like he understands. And he probably does understand it. As a dance major, he basically has to change clothes with every major class that he goes to. 

“Oh,” Jimin says as Taehyung takes his normal spot beside Jimin on the floor. “I forgot to tell you: Our dance club has a small performance happening on Saturday. Would you want to come to it?” 

“What time?” Taehyung asks, pulling out his phone, feeling like he has something else planned for that evening. And, just as he thought, he has from six p.m. until nine p.m. marked in his calendar app as blocked off for Jihoon’s dance recital. 

“It starts at six,” Jimin says, something nervous in his voice. 

Taehyung understands the nerves. He’d been fortunate enough to be a part of multiple real art shows when he was in high school. They were fancy things where he had to wear a suit and his parents couldn’t just stand with him the entire night and people actually purchased his artwork. Every last event he’s been to has made his heart race and his stomach churn. 

“Oh,” Taehyung says, disappointment flooding through him.

He wants to go to Jimin’s performance because he’s half in love with him and he wants to watch him do his favorite thing in the world, but he’d promised Jihoon weeks ago that he’d go to his first college performance. Taehyung, trying to formulate some sort of plan in which he can see both Jimin and Jihoon perform, asks, “Do you know what time you’re performing specifically? I really wish I could go, but my roommate has a recital happening the same night and time.” 

Jimin laughs. “Of course Jihoon invited you,” He says, something akin to relief in his voice. “I forgot that you’re roommates with him even though we live directly next to each other.” 

“You know Jihoon?” Taehyung asks, feeling a bit confused and wondering how they would know one another. Jihoon is a great dancer, but he’s still an art major so they likely don’t have any classes together, since Taehyung knows that Jimin’s semester is filled with mainly major classes. 

“Tae,” Jimin says, and warmth floods through Taehyung at the sound of the nickname falling from Jimin’s lips. 

Taehyung raises an eyebrow. “What?” 

“We’re in the same dance club! I can’t believe Jihoon never mentioned Hoseokie-hyung to you,” Jimin says, disbelief filling his voice. “He’s almost as in love with hyung as Joonie-hyung and Seokjinie-hyung are.” 

Taehyung searches his brain, trying to find any memory of Jihoon mentioning Hoseok. Taehyung feels like he would remember if Jihoon had mentioned his friend, but he can’t recall anything. 

“No,” Taehyung says. “He’s only ever talked about the president of the club. Some seonbae on YouTube named J-Hope.” 

Jimin laughs again, sounding delighted. “Tae, that is Hoseokie-hyung.”

Taehyung blanches. “What? Hoseokie-hyung is famous on TikTok and YouTube and no one bothered to tell me? For nearly eight months? I can’t believe this. The disrespect is unreal -” 

Jimin giggles, cutely enough to cut off Taehyung's entire speech. “Hyung is very humble. Plus, your roommate is pretty much in love with him! I thought that you would have known.”

“I definitely did not,” Taehyung muses, feeling a bit happier now that he’s made Jimin honest-to-god giggle. “I’m glad, though. Since it means that I get to see you perform now. I’m really excited for that.” 

Jimin smiles, something small and shy. “Me too.” 

They sit in comfortable silence for just a moment before Jimin says, “I feel like we spend a lot of time together talking about the things that we love, but I don’t know that we’ve ever gotten to show each other anything.” 

Taehyung once again scours his brain, this time for a memory of showing Jimin his artwork. He wouldn’t have shown Jimin anything that he’s made in college thus far, since all of those paintings are either portraits of Jimin or Taehyung basically confessing his love for Jimin via painting, but he doesn’t have any solid reason why he wouldn’t have shown Jimin anything that he’d created when he was in high school. 

Taehyung has quite a few photos of his artwork in his gallery, both of works in progress and posing with people who bought his paintings from art shows, so he probably should have at least one memory of showing something to Jimin. But, once again, he comes up empty. 

“Oh,” Taehyung says, realizing that Jimin is right. “I’ve never shown you anything of mine?” 

Jimin shakes his head. 

“Let me pull up some photos,” Taehyung says, reaching for his phone inside of the pocket of his sweatpants. 

“Nope,” Jimin says, stopping Taehyung immediately. “I want the first thing that I see of yours to be real and in-person. Just like how the first time you’ll see me dance this weekend will be in person, not a video.” 

“Oh,” Taehyung says again. “But the program doesn’t have any showcases this semester. You would have to wait until next year.” 

Jimin hums. They’re pressed side-by-side together once again and Taehyung is fairly certain that he can feel the way Jimin’s body vibrates from the hum. 

“Well, what about showing me one of those projects that you were working on this week that got your clothes so messy?” 

Taehyung does not want to think about Jimin’s sweet voice asking him what’s got his clothes so messy, so he quickly lets Jimin know that only one of the pieces is even finished. 

Which is entirely true. Taehyung had only managed to get one piece, an abstract art painting, completed before the end of the week, even though he had hoped to get much more accomplished. He started to realize that maybe all of his free time shouldn’t be spent painting Jimin. He should dedicate at least ten percent of his free time to his actual homework. 

He’d also been assigned a portrait, which Taehyung had bravely asked Yoongi and Jungkook to model for during their library study session just a few hours prior, but that hasn’t even been started since he doesn’t physically have the photo of Yoongi and Jungkook yet. His only other art final is in his figure-drawing class, and since that one requires a live model, it’s something he’ll do in-person during finals week. 

“Well,” Jimin says, standing up and extending his hand toward Taehyung. “Let’s go see it, then.” 

“Now?” Taehyung asks, panicking, but still grabbing hold of Jimin’s hand.

Taehyung’s brain locks on to the thought that it’s technically the first time that he and Jimin have held hands. He’s so absorbed in thinking about how soft and small Jimin’s hands are that Taehyung thinks he would agree to robbing a convenience store if Jimin suggested it right now.

Jimin nods, looking at Taehyung as if abandoning their laundry to go to the art studios is the most natural thing to do. “I know that they never lock up those studios. You were in there super late a few nights last week, I remember.” 

That’s also true. Technically, the school is supposed to lock all of the buildings on campus after classes end each night, but the faculty and security guards are usually pretty lax about it. Apparently, the year prior, the campus recording studios had to be locked up for a few months after a piece of equipment was stolen, and everyone had been so pissed off at the kid who was caught that the staff really trust that no one else will do something that might get the studios closed down at night again. 

Taehyung thinks that Yoongi would personally make anyone who got the recording studios locked again’s life a living hell and Yoongi is kind of scary when he’s upset, so Taehyung doesn’t think that anyone would want to willingly enrage Yoongi. 

“Okay,” Taehyung says, following easily as Jimin, still holding tightly onto Taehyung’s hand, pulls them out of their residence. “But don’t expect too much.” 

In all reality, Taehyung is absolutely terrified of showing Jimin the painting that he’d made. It’s definitely a peek into Taehyung’s heart that Taehyung has so far only shared with Jungkook. And even though Taehyung’s head has gotten the message that Jimin has a crush on someone else and he should move on so that he doesn’t fall into some sort of depression or sadness when Jimin inevitably starts dating whoever it is that he likes, Taehyung’s heart hasn’t quite gotten the memo yet. 

The walk to the art studio is quiet. Taehyung doesn’t know what to say because Jimin is still holding his hand and he’s afraid that if he speaks up, Jimin will suddenly notice that they’re holding hands and let go. And Taehyung really, really doesn’t want that to happen. 

Finally, as they enter the building where all of the art studios are located, Taehyung’s nerves begin to ease. There’s something about being in this place that makes him feel safe, makes him feel similarly to how he had felt in the makeshift art studio that his parents had made for him when he was still living at home. 

“Which studio?” Jimin asks, looking over his shoulder, eyes wide and curious. 

Taehyung gulps. “Studio three,” he whispers, afraid to break whatever spell it feels like they’re in right now. 

Jimin nods, dragging Taehyung to studio three as though they’re here to see Jimin’s work and not Taehyung’s. When they enter, Taehyung sees the studio looking pretty much like he had left it earlier in the night. Easels line the various rows of raised platforms, paintings sitting on top of them in various states of completeness, illuminated only by the bright moonlight since the automatic lights had not come on when Jimin and Taehyung entered the room. 

Taehyung turns from looking at the paintings to find Jimin already staring at him.

“Show me your painting, Tae,” Jimin says, voice barely a whisper. Taehyung thinks that if there had been any noise inside the room at all, save for their breathing, he wouldn’t have been able to hear Jimin. 

Taehyung gulps, nodding, and moves to turn on the overhead light himself. He feels a bit constricted, being trapped in the dark with Jimin. When the lights turn on, Jimin squints a little, face confused, like he hadn’t realized that the lights were off at all. 

Taehyung heads toward the area of the studio that he always paints at, one of the lower platforms next to the ground-level windows. He likes that area because Taehyung is, functionally, not very different from an oversized plant, and sunlight makes him feel a bit more alive. 

Jimin follows silently. 

“Oh, wow,” Jimin says when they reach his painting. 

It’s one of Taehyung’s favorite pieces that he’s ever created. When he’d been growing up, his art teacher had always told him that he needed to pull from his emotions more. That he needed to access the things that really make Taehyung feel and paint from there. When Taehyung began to paint the confusion that he was feeling about his sexual orientation, his paintings received higher praise than he’s ever gotten before in his life, even though no one knew that he was painting about his sexuality. Taehyung feels confident that this painting might receive similar accolades. 

It’s a smaller painting, an eight-inch by eight-inch canvas, depicting a black, faceless figure holding a small, purple flower up toward the sun. Inside the flower, a faerie in a tutu hides from view, just out of reach unless the figure is giving the faerie light. 

Taehyung feels thankful, now, that he’s never expressed to Jimin just how much he reminds Taehyung of a faerie. And though the figure is faceless, Taehyung thinks that he captures the essence of his own feelings very well. 

“Tae,” Jimin says, eyes never leaving the painting. “Tae, what was the prompt for this?” 

Taehyung sighs, wondering if he’ll ever create another piece of art without pouring his feelings for Jimin all over the canvas. 

“Longing,” he answers. “We literally had to pull a piece of paper out of a hat that said which emotion we would have to get across on the canvas.” 

“It’s beautiful,” Jimin says, voice quiet once again. “I can really feel the longing. It makes me think of- well, how I feel, I guess.” 

Taehyung doesn’t know how to respond. He knows that he’s being cowardly, by sharing this work with Jimin and not telling him that he’s the star of all of Taehyung’s feelings, but he doesn’t want to hear about how Jimin is longing for someone else. Doesn’t think that he can respond without telling Jimin that he’s halfway in love with him. So, he chooses to not say anything at all. 

Beside him, Jimin takes a deep breath, sounding like he’s trying to steady himself, before he carefully says, “Whoever you painted this for- I can tell that you feel a lot for them.” 

Taehyung nods, terrified of looking Jimin in the eye, so he remains focused on the painting instead of turning to meet Jimin’s look. 

“Yeah,” he whispers, wondering if Jimin can tell that the painting is for him. For god’s sake, Taehyung had painted a male ballerina in faerie form. The entire canvas is basically shouting from the rooftops that Taehyung thinks he could be in love with Jimin, that he’s longing for him so deeply that he feels it in every fiber of his being. Then, in a moment of weakness, Taehyung admits, “I feel a lot more for him than I should.” 

Jimin is quiet for just a moment, but when he speaks, his voice is a bit wet, like he’s holding something back. “Whoever they are, Tae, they’re really fucking lucky to be loved by you.” 

Taehyung smiles, something small and sad. “I’m lucky to love him. Even though I don’t think that he’ll ever feel the same way about me.” 

The lights around them turn off and Taehyung realizes that they’ve been standing still for far too long. He doesn’t dare move to turn them back on. 

“They’re really fucking stupid if they don’t love you back,” Jimin whispers. 

Taehyung wants to laugh. Wants to tell Jimin not to call himself stupid because even though Taehyung thinks that they could be the world’s most epic love story, it doesn’t mean that Jimin’s stupid for writing a different book all on his own. 

Instead, Taehyung says, “I guess we can’t ever actually tell ourselves how to feel.” Jimin stays quiet, the air around them heavy, so Taehyung continues. “I’ve been telling myself for months that I shouldn’t love this person. Been telling myself that ever since I found out that he likes someone else, but I can’t stop the feelings that keep growing inside the more time that I spend with him. And I don’t blame myself for loving him, so I can’t blame him for not loving me.” 

Jimin must finally turn his body toward Taehyung because the lights turn on above them. 

“It’s a really beautiful painting, Taehyung,” Jimin says. “I think that it’s beautiful how much of yourself you put into it.” 

“Well,” Taehyung says, grabbing onto Jimin’s wrist. He’s not quite brave enough to hold Jimin’s hand like Jimin had done to him earlier, but he thinks that the physical contact will calm his racing heart. “I’m sure that your dancing is much the same. And I can’t wait to see it.” 

“Well,” Jimin echoes, a blush rising on his cheeks. “It’s not exactly the same, but I do have to channel a lot of emotion into dance, so I guess you’re right.” 

Taehyung smiles, once again pushing down the overwhelming desire bubbling up in his stomach to kiss Jimin, and says, “And I know you’ll be amazing.” 

🍯

Saturday arrives very quickly. 

At first, Taehyung feels terrified about going to watch Jimin dance. After all, Jihoon had told him about how watching Hoseok dance had made him realize that he was bisexual. And Taehyung is already mostly gone for Jimin, so he’s not sure that his heart can handle seeing Jimin dance.

Hoseok, Jimin, and Jihoon are away pretty much the whole day, doing last-minute choreography fixes and getting their hair and makeup done. 

Taehyung feels bored, sitting alone in the art studio, working leisurely on his portrait of Jungkook and Yoongi when his phone suddenly blows up with a flurry of text messages. 

Yoongi-hyung > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[12:02 PM]
hey
where are all of you
kook and i wanted to go eat before we have to get ready for the show tonight

Seokjinie-hyung > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[12:04 PM]
are you really creating a group chat
with your five closest friends and boyfriend
and using the name lgbtqia+ active members to pretend like this is business related

Yoongi-hyung > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[12:04 PM]
no
we don’t run a business
so i can’t be pretending that

Jungkookie > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[12:05 PM]
Seokjinie-hyuuuuuuung
Come have lunch with us
I miss you 

Namjoonie-hyung > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[12:06 PM]
Sorry Kook
Me and hyung already had lunch
We got some chinese food for takeout since we were taking some to Hoseokie anyways

Taehyung wonders if he should have gotten Jimin some food. Not that he’s trying to win Jimin over in the way that he knows Seokjin is actively trying to make Hoseok and Namjoon fall in love with him, but he still thinks that he maybe should have offered to bring Jimin something to eat. After all, they eat a lot of their meals together. So it would only be natural for Taehyung to do that. 

Yoongi-hyung > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[12:08 PM]
taehyungie?
what about you?
i know you’ve been in that art studio all morning
come get lunch with me and kook

Me > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[12:08 PM]
sure
jiminie, do you want some food, too?

Jungkookie > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[12:09 PM]
👀

Jiminie > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[12:11 PM]
That’s really sweet, Tae!!
Just something light, please?

Me > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[12:12 PM]
no problem!
i’ll text you when we’re leaving the restaurant

Though Jungkook and Yoongi tease him mercilessly for it, Taehyung is happy to see Jimin once more before he sees him on stage. He’s happy to see Jimin’s smile when Taehyung brings him a salad, saying that he’s hungry and wants nothing more than to eat the entire thing right then. 

Seeing Jimin doesn’t help Taehyung with the knowledge that he is going to fall deeper into love with Jimin than he already is, but it does strangely make Taehyung feel a bit more comfortable in that knowledge. He feels like if he already knows that he’s going to be head over heels in love with Jimin, then he might as well fully commit and at least do anything for Jimin that might make him feel happier and more comfortable. 

Yoongi and Jungkook barely manage to drag Taehyung away from Jimin and back to Yoongi’s apartment to get ready together for the recital. 

The funny thing about Jungkook, it appears, is that the moment that he feels comfortable with someone, he has absolutely no issues being fully comfortable around them. 

He’s invited himself into Taehyung’s dorm room in the past week more times than Taehyung can count, always slinging his backpack filled with loose cans of Diet Coke around, and napping on Taehyung’s bed. 

Even after Taehyung had agreed to come get ready with Yoongi and Jungkook, expressing that he just needed to go back to his dorm to grab the outfit that he had already picked out to wear, Jungkook said that he would make sure that Taehyung’s outfit was the perfect one. Jungkook said that the outfit was up to his standards and that specifically confused and insulted Taehyung, who thinks that he is easily more stylish than Jungkook, who almost exclusively wears baggy, black pants and even baggier, black shirts almost all of the time.

Yoongi puts some light makeup on Taehyung, something that Taehyung’s never really dabbled in before. After his parents had basically pretended that he never came out, Taehyung tried his best to avoid anything that would paint him as effeminate in any sort of way, so he never attempted to line his own eyes or even use concealer to cover up his dark spots and acne. 

But it appears that Jungkook and Yoongi are seasoned professionals at doing makeup. Yoongi easily puts the eyeshadow on Taehyung’s eyelids and Taehyung has to beg Jungkook to only put concealer on his face and not do something more dramatic like Jungkook had done for himself. Jungkook looks great, don’t get Taehyung wrong, he’s just not sure he can go from “never worn” to “full coverage” in one evening and be comfortable with it. 

When they finally meet up with Seokjin and Namjoon in the apartment’s living room, Taehyung actually feels like he might finally be someone worth catching Jimin’s eye. 

“Wow,” Seokjin says, rolling his eyes playfully. “I can’t believe that you three have the nerve to attempt to make Taehyung look more handsome than me!” 

“Please,” Taehyung says, feeling his cheeks begin to warm. “As if anyone would ever think that I’m on your level.” 

Which Taehyung fully believes to be true. Jimin is the most attractive person that Taehyung’s ever seen in his life, but Seokjin is a close second. He’s, like, model-level handsome. 

Yoongi narrows his eyes at Taehyung. “You do know that, like, everyone thinks that you’re really hot, right?” 

“What?” Taehyung asks, suddenly feeling very vulnerable. “There’s no way.” 

“Tae-hyung,” Jungkook says, looking Taehyung so directly in the eyes that he’s actually a little uncomfortable. “If it weren’t for factors outside of my control, you would definitely be my first choice for a threesome.” 

“Two questions,” Namjoon says, then tilts his head, looking a bit confused. “Is that something that you two are actively considering? And do you have all of your friends ranked within that list?” 

“We are not considering it,” Yoongi says at the same time that Jungkook says, “Of course not. I’d never sleep with Hoseok or Jimin.” 

Taehyung blinks, feeling half flattered that he’s Jungkook’s first choice and half confused why Jungkook would never sleep with Jimin. He’s not confused, however, by the exasperation in Yoongi’s voice that suggests that this is not the first time that they’ve had this conversation. 

“So you only have me, Taehyung, and Namjoon on that list,” Seokjin deduces. “Am I second? Please tell me that I’m second.” 

“Hyung, of course I’m second on the list,” Namjoon scoffs. “You pretend that you don’t know who Jungkook is when we’re in public. Right, Jungkook?” 

Seokjin, ears bright red and not even allowing Jungkook one breath to respond, says, “Maybe he’s really into roleplay!” 

Taehyung’s even more confused now because he doesn’t think that either Seokjin or Namjoon want to sleep with Yoongi and Jungkook. 

“Look what you’ve started,” Yoongi says, rolling his eyes at Jungkook. “We were having a perfectly good night.”

Jungkook shrugs. “It’s always a more fun night when Jinie-hyung gets all riled up for no real reason. I like that I’m able to make his ears turn red. It’s funny.” 

Taehyung laughs, not entirely used to this playful side of Jungkook yet. Of course they’ve spent some time together since becoming friends the week prior, but they’re mostly still just texting basic information about themselves, getting to know one another, or spending time together when Jungkook is bursting into his dorm room to sleep in his bed. 

“That was so funny, oh my god,” Taehyung laughs, “Now that he’s called me hot, I should do something like that. Suggest I would want to sleep with someone else more than him.” 

“Sure,” Jungkook snorts. “Just don’t do it in front of Jiminie-hyung.” 

Taehyung cocks his head to the side. “What do you mean?” 

Jungkook opens his mouth, like he’s about to respond, but then Seokjin and Namjoon are back with them again, pulling the three of them out of the apartment, saying that they want to get there early to get the best seats possible. Jungkook argues that the seating is already reserved by section for ticket holders, which all of them are. Taehyung forgets about Jungkook’s comment entirely.

🍯

Taehyung has yet to make the worst decision of his life, but agreeing to sit with Seokjin and Namjoon in the three empty seats in the front row of the auditorium - yes, Seokjin had yelled at Yoongi fairly loudly in front of the entire crowd, swearing that this is why they needed to leave earlier, but Yoongi and Jungkook didn’t look too disappointed to sit toward the back of the section - for Jimin’s first college dance recital is definitely the worst decision to date. 

The first half of the show isn’t particularly interesting for Taehyung. Jihoon had explained that the sophomores start with duets, then the juniors perform trios, and then anyone who was awarded a solo, regardless of class status, perform. And all of these have group numbers thrown in throughout them. Jihoon himself had not auditioned for any solos, feeling that his art classes were a little too demanding for him to do anything more than the three group dances that he’s a part of. 

Taehyung hadn’t asked Jimin if he auditioned for any solo performances, too nervous to hear the answer be yes that he decided that not knowing was better. Now, though, Taehyung wishes that he had asked, feeling like he could have given himself the chance to emotionally prepare, or at least go to the nearest convenience store and dig some day-old sashimi out of their dumpster so that he could have a valid reason not to go to the performance. 

Because, god damn, Taehyung was not prepared to see Park Jimin dance. 

Of course, he watches Jimin in two group dances before the solo performance. But the group dances both had approximately fifteen people on stage and it was clear that Hoseok, as their choreographer, was highlighting the upperclassmen through the dances. 

Taehyung knows that Hoseok doesn’t discriminate based on age, but he’s also not the only person who gets a say in what happens on stage. Jihoon had explained that Hoseok not being an all-ruling president is the reason that the duets and trios were reserved for certain classes. 

Still, Taehyung knows that the two group dances he’s seen so far were both choreographed by Hoseok, with a seamless mixture of contemporary dance and hip-hop, so he doesn’t think that Hoseok is upset by how much power he has within the group. 

During the first group, Taehyung thinks that Jimin looks toward their section to locate where he’s seated, but he knows that it’s probably just wishful thinking. 

Much like the group dances were easily identifiable as being made by Hoseok, Taehyung thinks that Jimin’s solo is so wholly Park Jimin that he feels like he’s peeking inside of Jimin’s soul. 

When Jimin walks onto the stage in black tights and a plain, white t-shirt, Taehyung knows, in that moment, that he’s fucked. Knows that he’s never going to love someone else in his life, doesn’t know that he’ll ever even be attracted to another person again. 

His brain, which apparently still has some sense of self-preservation, screams for Taehyung to close his eyes, and says that there’s no way that Taehyung is going to be able to survive watching Jimin dance. 

But Taehyung’s heart is foolish. 

His eyes are glued to Jimin. 

When Jimin starts dancing, the sound of a light piano echoing throughout the auditorium, Taehyung can’t look away. Jimin looks light on his feet, covering the broad expanse of the stage with ease. His body moves and bends in ways that Taehyung can’t even begin to think about mimicking, and he leaps with all of the confidence and ease of a person who has done this a million times before. 

Taehyung thinks that Jimin is a natural, but that would maybe be unfair to Jimin, who Taehyung knows has spent thousands upon thousands of hours practicing in various studios, trying his best to gather all of the information that he could in as little time as he could possibly do so. 

Taehyung is, for lack of a better word, mesmerized. 

The show finishes out with Hoseok’s solo, followed by two seniors with solos, and then one final dance performance. During the first two group dances, Taehyung had been paying attention to the group as a whole, trying to figure out what story the choreography was trying to tell or trying to catch a glimpse of Jihoon or Jimin. However, during the final dance, Taehyung can’t bring himself to look away from Jimin for even one second. 

Part of his brain tells him that Jimin keeps finding his eyes as well. 

When the recital is fully over- after all of the dancers have come out and taken their bows and accepted their accolades from Hoseok and a few dance professors- Seokjin and Namjoon pull Taehyung toward the lobby area of the building that the performance was held in, saying that it’s where they’ve been meeting up after recitals since Hoseok’s freshman year, so Hoseok and Jimin will undoubtedly show up here.

Once in the lobby, Taehyung notices a table selling bouquets of flowers, and before he can overthink it, buys one that’s a mixture of yellows and purples. 

“Cute,” Seokjin smirks and Taehyung retaliates by sticking his tongue out in Seokjin’s direction. 

Taehyung knows that, especially today, his crush on Jimin is probably very noticeable. And in the future, Taehyung will do his best to be more subtle about it, but he’s got a case of love-brain happening right now and can only focus on giving Jimin a big hug and the pretty flowers. 

He bounces on his heels, impatient, even when Yoongi and Jungkook join the group, lips looking slick and hair messed up in different directions. Taehyung briefly wonders if they snuck out of the recital or if they tortured the poor soul sitting next to them by making out hardcore next to them for the entire show. 

Taehyung’s heart rate, for the first time ever, calms down when he sees Jimin. 

They make eye contact first and Jimin’s face brightens up immediately, a wide smile taking over that indicates that he’s really happy to see Taehyung. 

Jimin does an awkward half-jog to reach their group and Taehyung immediately wraps his arms around Jimin. 

“Hey,” Taehyung says, voice barely a whisper in Jimin’s ear, pressing the flowers in between them, into Jimin’s hands. He takes a shuddering breath in when their hands meet around the stems. “You were so, so amazing out there.” 

Jimin shudders a bit and Taehyung wonders if he’s cold since he had sweat so much on the stage. 

“Thank you,” Jimin whispers back, small hands gripping around Taehyung’s larger ones as much as they can. “Thank you for being here.” 

“I wouldn’t miss it,” Taehyung says, just now realizing how true that is. He thinks back to when Jimin first invited him to the recital, before he knew that it was also his roommate’s recital. Taehyung knows very well that he would have ditched Jihoon’s recital to see Jimin dance.

Taehyung doesn’t want to let go of Jimin, but then he realizes that Jimin probably invited the boy that he’s crushing on here, and though Taehyung would love nothing more than to have all of Jimin’s attention, he doesn’t want to ruin anything for Jimin with someone else, so he reluctantly lets go of Jimin’s tiny hands. 

Taehyung clears his throat, trying to will his face to stay its normal color, and vaguely wishing that he’d let Jungkook use more than just the concealer on him. 

“You really looked incredible on stage,” Taehyung tells Jimin, wholly meaning every last word. “I’ve never really been to a dance thing, but I can already tell how talented you are. You’re such a hard worker.” 

Jimin’s face turns a shade darker and Taehyung feels a sense of victory creep up within him, liking that he made Jimin blush. 

“Thanks,” Jimin says, voice no more than a whisper once again. Then, as if he’s trying to divert Taehyung’s attention, adds, “But Hobi-hyung is the one who is really talented.” 

And Taehyung knows that Hoseok is talented, but, probably because he’s really into Jimin, Taehyung hadn’t paid too much attention to his hyung. 

“Yeah,” Taehyung says, looking away from Jimin. “But I was watching you the whole time.” 

Jimin’s mouth parts and his eyes widen. And Taehyung feels like he’s really fucked up. He’s never been more thankful for Jungkook’s uncanny timing at launching himself at people, because Jimin’s arms are now full of Jungkook, and Taehyung doesn’t have to try to come back from what he just said. 

“Hey,” Yoongi says, sidling up to Taehyung. “I held him back for as long as I could,” he says, using a hand to gesture toward Jungkook, who Taehyung thinks is actually crying about how much he loved Jimin’s performance. 

Taehyung stares, wondering if Jungkook had mentioned his massive crush on Jimin to Yoongi. 

“What are you even talking about?” Taehyung asks, laughing awkwardly in weird parts of the sentence. “That’s- Hyung- Did Jungkook suggest-” 

“No,” Yoongi says, cutting Taehyung off. “Jungkook didn’t have to tell me that you like Jimin. I’ve known about it since the second week that we met.” 

Taehyung scoffs. “I met Jimin that week.” 

Yoongi shrugs, still watching Jungkook and Jimin, eyes never meeting Taehyung’s own. Taehyung isn’t sure that he’s ever been so actively engaged in a conversation where the other person makes so little eye contact. 

“Love at first sight exists,” Yoongi says, like it’s simple. “Or maybe not love. I wouldn’t say that I fell in love the second that I saw Jungkook, but I definitely felt something. ” 

“Yeah,” Taehyung says, laughing. “We all saw how you two felt something.” 

“We see it with you, too,” Yoongi says, patting Taehyung on the shoulder. “It’s almost impossible to miss.” 

🍯

Finals are relatively easy for Taehyung. 

After all, aside from a statistics course and the second level of music theory, Taehyung doesn’t have any other exams. His confession abstract painting is chosen as one that will be shown in the spring semester showcase, which thrills Taehyung to no end. His portrait, while not chosen, still gets a really high grade, so Taehyung wraps it up and decides to gift it to Yoongi and Jungkook for Christmas. 

Taehyung then decides that gifting all of his friends portraits might be a good idea. After all, he thinks that he currently has somewhere between four and six portraits of Jimin that he could gift to him. 

He thinks that he could gift his hyungs a portrait of all four of them to hang in the living area of their apartment, which is a room that Taehyung is very familiar with. Taehyung always stays in the living room when he visits, and while it isn’t drab, there’s also not too many personal items laying about that would suggest to Taehyung that any of his hyungs lived in the house. He assumes that their bedrooms are different, likely highly personalized, but he wants to give them something that can be put into the living room. 

So he asks Yoongi to send him a picture of the four of them, who sends him a group photo from a vacation that they had gone on the summer before Taehyung met them, and Taehyung thinks that he’ll be able to paint it for them really well.

He’s on his way to the campus art studio, canvas and bag of acrylic paints from his dad in hand, when his dad calls him. 

“Hey,” Taehyung says when he answers the phone. “I was just thinking about you.” 

His dad chuckles. “Oh, really? Is everything okay?” 

Taehyung hums into the phone. “Yeah, everything is okay. I’m making a portrait for some of my friends for Christmas,” he explains. “I’ve only used those nice paints that you bought for me for these few paintings that I’m giving to them.” 

Taehyung leaves out the fact that he’s used them on multiple portraits of Jimin. He’ll probably gift those to Jimin at some point, so he doesn’t think that it’s technically a lie. 

“Oh,” his dad says. “I can always send you more of them, if you need.” 

“No, no,” Taehyung insists. He knows that his parents aren’t the most wealthy people. His father works hard on their farm to make an income, and he’s already sending Taehyung a weekly allowance as it is. If Taehyung wants more expensive paints than the university provides, then he can save up for them himself. “There’s still plenty left. They’re such a nice quality that I try not to use them all of the time.” 

His father hums, something in the noise that sounds like he doesn’t quite believe Taehyung, but he lets the topic go. “Who are you making paintings for? Yoongi and Jungkook?”

Taehyung and his father hadn’t talked nearly as much as they used to when Taehyung lived at home, but Taehyung still tried to update his father on his life. Their never at all phone calls turned into once per month phone calls and have now turned into once per week phone calls. Desperately, Taehyung also sends life updates in a group chat with both of his parents. Taehyung pretends to not notice that his mother never responds to them. 

So, Taehyung’s told his dad about his friends. He mostly talks about Yoongi and Jungkook, since, aside from Jimin, he spends most of his time with them. He talks about Seokjin, Namjoon, and Hoseok as well, but not as much. Taehyung almost never talks about Jimin, though. He’s scared that his father will hear the love for Jimin in his voice, just like Jungkook and Yoongi can hear it. And he’s kind of terrified of what his father’s reaction might be. 

“I actually made their portrait for one of my classes,” Taehyung explains. “Then I decided to give it to them and had the idea to give portraits to all of my friends. I’m making one for all of the boys who live in the apartment together. And, um, I made a solo one of Jimin using a picture from his dance recital.” 

Which is true. He had gotten the picture from one of the journalism students who was at the dance recital, covering the event for the school newspaper. He had to awkwardly decline a date with her, explaining that he is very gay for the boy that he was buying the picture of with a slew of apologies stuttered in between explanations. 

“Ah,” his dad says, the sound of something in his voice that Taehyung can’t identify, but thinks is teasing him. Then, more light heartedly, adds, “Well, I’ll let you go, then. Have fun painting, kiddo.” 

When they hang up, Taehyung notices that they avoid the topic of him going home for Christmas. He kind of wants to go home, but then he remembers how eager his mother had seemed for him to go to college, and he thinks that he might throw up if he has to get on a train to go back to Daegu.

He paints with a little less enthusiasm than he has all semester. 

🍯

“I’m transferring schools,” Jihoon tells Taehyung at lunch on the final day of the semester. 

Half of Taehyung’s friends- Jimin, Jungkook, and Hoseok- had already gone home for the winter break. The other half of his friends- Yoongi, Seokjin, and Namjoon- have no reason to be on campus on the last day of the semester since none of them have any finals, so they aren’t exactly coming to eat lunch with him. 

Taehyung stops mid-bite. “What?” He asks, pinky heading to his ear like he’s going to clear it out. Because he must have misheard. “No. What?” 

“This was never my first choice of school,” Jihoon says, shrugging. “When I came here, it was mostly because I really wanted to meet J-Hope.” 

Taehyung’s eyes widen. Then he wonders if he’s ever mentioned that he is quite good friends with J-Hope of YouTube and TikTok fame. 

“And not only did I meet him, but I got to dance with him and hear constructive feedback from him!” 

Taehyung nods, but he’s confused. He doesn’t understand why Jihoon wouldn’t want to stay at this school even more if that’s the case. 

Jihoon must see the confusion in his eyes because he says, “I didn’t focus on my art at all this semester because of it. And I really liked dancing- I loved learning from J-Hope of all people- but I don’t think that this is what I want for myself. I love doing art.” 

Taehyung is very willing to recognize how talented his roommate is. Jihoon is a sculptor primarily, which is something that Taehyung has never quite excelled in, preferring to do most of his work in colored paints. But he does know that Jihoon did seem to spend much less time than him working on art these last two semesters, so he gets it. 

“And I really think that I would maybe love it less if I kept questioning which way I should go with my life,” Jihoon explains. “I don’t want to have any regrets, or be wishy-washy, so I’m choosing art and to be away from J-Hope.” 

“Well, I’ll miss you,” Taehyung says, feeling sad that he’ll have to find a new roommate, but happy that Jihoon is choosing to do what’s best for him. “I really hope whoever they choose to randomly assign me next year is as cool as you.” 

“Why don’t you just ask our neighbor, Jimin? You know, the kid you’re in love with?” 

Taehyung chokes on his bite of meat. 

“What?” Taehyung thinks that he must really need to reign in his feelings for Jimin if literally everyone around him is able to tell just how in love he is. “I’m not- What?” 

Jihoon laughs. “Please, Taehyung. I haven’t mentioned it so that you wouldn’t feel embarrassed, but this is our last day seeing each other. You haven’t been subtle at all. I mean, all of the paintings that you bring in and out of our room?” Taehyung blushes, feeling a bit embarrassed. “If it’s any consolation, I’ve heard him talking about you to J-Hope a lot , so I think that he likes you, too.” 

Taehyung doesn’t allow that thought to settle in his brain. He’s not sure that his heart can handle hearing what Jimin says about him to Hoseok. He doesn’t want to hear it. Doesn’t want to hear if Jimin knows that Taehyung is in love with him. Doesn’t want to hear how Jimin probably calls him a good and polite friend. Doesn’t think that his heart can handle it, so he doesn’t ask Jihoon to elaborate. 

“I’ll probably just take a new roommate,” Taehyung says, deflecting. “I’m sure that Jimin wouldn’t want to room with me anyway.” 

“It’s been really nice knowing you, Taehyung,” Jihoon comments when they’re leaving the cafeteria. “I hope that one day you’ll let yourself live without regrets, too.” 

Me > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[1:12 PM]
hobi-hyung
you made my roommate move out

Hoseokie-hyung > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[1:13 PM]
u have never called me hobi before
who r u
and wait
what do i have to do with your roommate

Jungkookie > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[1:14 PM]
isn’t hyung’s roommate the dance kid who is in love with hobi-hyung

Seokjinie-hyung > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[1:14 PM]
Ah yes
Described Hobi as his “bisexual awakening”
The very first time that we met

Jiminie > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[1:15 PM]
That’s absolutely hilarious
Hobi-hyung
His roommate is Jihoon

Hoseokie-hyung > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[1:16 PM]
oh
OH
wait he’s moving out because of me?

Me > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[1:16 PM]
TRANSFERRING COLLEGES

Namjoonie-hyung > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[1:17 PM]
Damn Hobi what did u do to the poor kid

Me > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[1:18 PM]
made him aware of his hopes and dreams 🙄

Seokjinie-hyung > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[1:19 PM]
Wait
That’s actually cute
And here i was hating the kid

Hoseokie-hyung > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[1:19 PM]
what??
you hate jihoon?
he’s very kind

Jiminie > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[1:20 PM]
Sometimes this gets hard to watch

Yoongi-hyung > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[1:20 PM]
hard core agree

Jiminie > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[1:21 PM]
But!
That does bring up something kind of good?
Jungkookie and I are looking at a few apartments
But the only really okay one that we could find is a three-bedroom place
We were going to go online to post some ads
But! 

Jungkookie > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[1:21 PM]
oh HELL YEAH
taehyungie-hyung
how about you live with us?
our lease will start in january
so it would actually be really good if you want to move in with us
that way we won’t give a bad impression to the landlord
by not coming until like
the middle of the month

Jiminie > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[1:23 PM]
We’d also really just like to have you as a roommate
We all get along really well
Jungkookie has stolen my chance to ever be your best friend already

Yoongi-hyung > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[1:23 PM]
i’m taehyungie’s best friend
just btw
not any of you

Jungkookie > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[1:23 PM]
hyung
can’t we share taehyungie
🥺

Yoongi-hyung > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[1:23 PM]
.
okay
yes
we can share taehyungie as a best friend

Me > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[1:24 PM]
you’re so whipped

Jiminie > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[1:25 PM]
It’s disgusting

Me > LGBTQIA+ club members
[1:25 PM]
i think it’s cute

Jiminie > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[1:25 PM]
It’s cute*

Seokjinie-hyung > LGBTQIA+ club active members
[1:26 PM]
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

🍯

Taehyung spends Christmas day with Namjoon, Seokjin, and Yoongi.

They all really enjoy the gift for the apartment, enough that Yoongi actually goes into his room and brings out a variety pack of Command strips, asking Taehyung which ones would be the most appropriate to use on the canvas because he wants to hang it above their fireplace. 

“Well,” Taehyung says. “It really would be best if you put it on a hook or a nail-” 

“We rent here, Taehyung,” Yoongi says, voice flat. “I love this painting but not enough to give up my security deposit.” 

Namjoon and Seokjin both nod solemnly, clearly agreeing. This leads into a fun time of Seokjin and Yoongi recounting all of the drastic measures that they had gone through in their last apartment, stupid mistakes and fixes that they’d made in order to make sure that they would get their security deposit back. Apparently, they hadn’t gotten all of it back, so they’re much more careful in the new place.

Taehyung and Yoongi are cooking lunch now and Taehyung is trying to avoid thinking about how he hadn’t answered Jungkook and Jimin’s request to become roommates. 

Taehyung had slept in Hoseok’s bed the night before so that he could spend the entire day at their apartment, per Seokjin’s insistence. He and Namjoon cooked breakfast and he had tasked Yoongi and Taehyung with cooking lunch. Taehyung thinks that he’s probably useless because he’s never bothered to learn to cook, but he is good at following instructions, so he just waits patiently for Yoongi to tell him what to do. 

While they’re making stew, Namjoon and Seokjin go into Seokjin’s bedroom so that they can FaceTime Hoseok and all open their presents together. 

Taehyung chuckles at the giddy look on Namjoon’s face and asks Yoongi, “Are you sure they’re not dating yet?” 

Yoongi shrugs. “I’m actually starting to think that they might be. They definitely all kissed when Hoseok was leaving for his parents’ house.” 

“What?” Taehyung asks, eyes wide. “Hyung, are you serious?” 

“Oh yeah,” Yoongi nods, acting casual like this isn’t the result of Seokjin’s years of wooing attempts. “Jungkookie and I were just standing there, entirely baffled. And it was a really hardcore makeout session. I think it lasted, like, four and a half minutes.” 

“Four and a half minutes-” 

“Well, you have to account for three people , Taehyung-ah. Sometimes they had to switch who was kissing who,” Yoongi explains, even though that is not the overarching point that Taehyung is trying to make. “Though I think they were definitely trying to all kiss at once. I’m not entirely sure.” 

Taehyung thinks that his jaw might be on the floor. “Hyung, wha-” 

“You can ask Jungkookie, though,” Yoongi says. “I think he got a recording of it.” 

“A recording?” 

Yoongi nods. “I asked him not to use it for his own pleasure while he’s away from me,” he sighs. “He said that it wouldn’t be an issue because he wants to throw up thinking about Hoseok having sex.” 

“That’s mean,” Taehyung points out, but he’s laughing. 

“Oh no. He feels that way about Jimin, too,” Yoongi explains. “So, just a heads up that he probably won’t want to hear about it when the two of you inevitably have sex.” 

Taehyung pauses. What?

“Hyung,” he says, very seriously. “We’re not going to have sex.” 

“No?” Yoongi asks, raising an eyebrow. “Even though you have all of that tension surrounding the two of you?” 

Taehyung sighs. It would be a complete lie to say that he thought Jimin wasn’t attracted to him. 

After all, there was a time, during the week of finals, where Taehyung caught Jimin staring at him. Taehyung had been leaving the shower room, but he’d completely forgotten to bring any clothes to change into, brain tired enough to only think about bringing his shower caddy and a towel. When he got out of the shower, in just his shower sandals and a towel, Jimin was at the sink brushing his teeth. 

It was obvious to anyone in the room that Jimin had been staring at Taehyung’s body, eyes locked on his abdominal region like a hawk. Taehyung had blushed and ran out of the bathroom, willing himself to forget about how Jimin was looking at him so that he wouldn’t imagine it every time that he felt a bit turned on. It was definitely hard for Taehyung to get Jimin’s shocked stare out of his brain, but he can at least safely say that the look Jimin had given to him in the mirror is no longer at the forefront of his mind at all times. 

“I don’t want to just have sex with him,” Taehyung whispers, thinking that maybe talking about his feelings will help him to finally get over them. “I really- I care about him.” 

Yoongi stops chopping the carrot in front of him, turning to face Taehyung, a very serious look taking over his face. 

“Hey,” he says, voice gentle, much like it had been on the day that they first met. “I know that. I know that you care about him. I just think that he might care about you in a similar way. You guys have a real connection, you know?” 

“He likes someone else, Yoongi-hyung,” Taehyung mourns, feeling like he might cry. But he doesn’t want to cry because he’s working on it . “And I know that he likes someone else, and I want to get over him so that we can keep being friends like he wants us to be, but it’s too hard. He’s too kind and too pretty and he’s perfect.” 

Yoongi tilts his head and asks, “How do you know that he likes someone else? Did he tell you that?” 

Taehyung nods. “He hasn’t told me who it is that he likes, but Jimin always talks about how much he likes them, and he’s always upset because he says that this boy doesn’t like him back.” 

Yoongi nods and opens his mouth, but Taehyung doesn’t let him speak. 

“Hyung,” he whines. “Yoongi-hyung, literally everyone knows that I’m in love with him. Everyone makes fun of me- or teases me about it, so there’s no way that he doesn’t know, you know? Everyone knows.” 

Yoongi nods. Taehyung suspects that Jimin has never confirmed to Jungkook or Yoongi who he likes. Because, otherwise, Yoongi would likely just outright tell Taehyung who it is.

“Jungkook told me that Jimin won’t say who it is that he likes, but Jungkook’s suspected that it’s you for a really long time,” Yoongi explains. “Like, pretty much since the moment that you guys met.” 

Taehyung shrugs, wanting to change the subject as quickly as possible so that he doesn’t cry in front of Yoongi. Because Taehyung knows that if he starts crying in front of Yoongi, Yoongi will be the perfect hyung that he is and hug Taehyung, which will probably just cause Taehyung to cry even harder and then he’ll end up crying in front of Seokjin and Namjoon when they finally reemerge from Seokjin’s bedroom. 

“Can we just not talk about it anymore?” Taehyung begs. “I have to get over these feelings. I told Jimin and Jungkook that I’d answer them about moving in together before the new year because that’s when the lease starts, and I really don’t know how I’ll deal with living with Jimin if I’m still very much in love with him.” 

Yoongi nods, patting Taehyung’s back lovingly before returning to chop the remaining carrots on the cutting board.

“Absence is good, then,” Yoongi says. “Out of sight, out of mind, right?” 

Taehyung snorts. “You better not suggest that to Jungkookie. With the way that the two of you act, he’ll be on a train back here tonight if you say that.” 

“That’s different,” Yoongi argues. “Jungkook and I have a very specific time set up to FaceTime with each other every day. And we’ve decided on how often we want to text each day,” he explains. “We’re in a relationship, so we set some standards to stay in contact with one another while we’re not in the same city. But you and Jimin don’t have that. There’s no obligation to text each other at all, actually.” 

Taehyung sighs. “Well, we only text a couple of times a day.” 

Taehyung thinks about the messages he’d woken up to that morning. A very excited ‘Merry Christmas!!!!’ followed up by a selfie of Jimin, still wearing his pajamas in bed. Unless Taehyung had physically thrown his phone out the window, which he had debated doing,  he thinks it would have been impossible to not respond to them. 

“Don’t text at all, then,” Yoongi suggests. “I think that’s the best way for you to get over your feelings. You can’t talk to him, can’t think about him. Then, maybe when he comes back in a few weeks, you won’t have any feelings for him.” 

Taehyung sighs again. “This has been awful advice.” 

Yoongi nods like he agrees that his advice was bad. “Yeah, I don’t really repress my feelings that often so I can’t really tell you how to do it.” 

🍯

Taehyung, making the worst decision of his life thus far, says yes to moving in with Jungkook and Jimin. 

He moves out of the dorm room and into the three-bedroom apartment on the first day of the new year, slightly hungover because Seokjin had insisted on taking him out for his birthday the night before. They would have gone out on his actual birthday, but Seokjin and Namjoon both had work on the thirty-first but neither of them worked on the first, so they took him out.

Seokjin had said that it was his personal duty to get Taehyung as drunk as possible and Yoongi even suggested that Taehyung try to find someone to hook up with. Seokjin and Namjoon both grimaced at that suggestion, but Taehyung ignored their looks and didn’t rule out the possibility of a hookup. 

Taehyung, not for lack of suitors, had not slept with anyone that night. He’d been far too drunk and, instead, spent half of his night sitting in a booth, staring at the happy birthday message that Jimin had sent him at 11:59, saying that he wanted to be the last person to send Taehyung birthday wishes. 

Taehyung is moving in alone, with Jungkook and Jimin not coming back until the next week, but he’s okay with that. Mostly because moving in first gives him the opportunity to choose which bedroom would belong to him. 

The apartment is very long. When he walks through the door, Taehyung is immediately in the living room, with an open view of the kitchen on his left. There’s not a dining room, but the counter that serves as a separator between the kitchen and living room is long and already has three bar stools at it, which Taehyung is grateful for because it means that they don’t have to try to find a dining table right away. 

There are hallways on either side of the living room. On the left, there are two bedrooms directly across from one another. On the right, one bedroom and the bathroom are located. 

Taehyung, after spending a few minutes in each of the three bedrooms, chooses one of the bedrooms on the left. While in the bedroom closer to the bathroom, Taehyung could definitely hear his new neighbors having very passionate morning sex and he was very much not interested in hearing that all of the time. 

All Taehyung can do is hope that Jimin chooses the room by the bathroom because his brain will not stop replaying the New Girl scene where Nick and Jess have their first kiss when he thinks about Jimin living in the bedroom directly across from his own. 

After unpacking everything into his own bedroom, and moving a few of the things like the fake plants and the paintings that Taehyung will gift to Jimin and Jungkook once they return into the common area, Yoongi takes Taehyung to a discount warehouse to try to find some inexpensive kitchenware. 

Taehyung sends a list of the things that he’s bought and what Yoongi insists are essentials that they still need to buy to Jimin and Jungkook in their newly formed roommates group chat. Jimin texts back that his mother is very willing to part with many of the things that they still need. 

Taehyung briefly wonders if Jimin’s parents will be moving him back up to Seoul because Taehyung distinctly remembers Jimin saying that all of their living room furniture, as well as Jimin’s bedroom furniture, would be coming from his parents as well. 

When Jimin and Jungkook return the next week, Taehyung is eating cup cheese tteokbokki at their counter, and he’s really excited to see them both.

Taehyung stands from the bar stool to greet them, but before he can even turn around, he’s hit with the full weight of one Park Jimin crashing into him, arms wrapping around Taehyung’s shoulders in one of the tightest hugs he’s ever felt. 

“I missed you,” Jimin says quietly into Taehyung’s ear. “Feels like we were apart for way too long.” 

Taehyung feels his cheeks heat up. He’d be lying if he said that he had committed to the plan that Yoongi gave him. At best, Taehyung committed to going no-contact about fifteen percent. He continued to text Jimin back, and even texted him first often, but he did make up reasons why they were unable to FaceTime. 

Looking at Jimin now, though, Taehyung thinks that any actual attempts to dampen his feelings would have been pointless. A weight that Taehyung hadn’t even realized was sitting in his chest had lifted the moment that Jimin hugged him. And Taehyung’s only thought is that he agrees. It has been too long for them to be apart from one another. And he wants to be with Jimin for as long as he can. 

He really regrets the decision to move in together because he knows that there’s no way he can ever stop the expanding space that Jimin is taking up within his heart. But Taehyung’s not sure that he’s going to fight it any longer.

So, he settles into the hug, deciding to embrace the feelings until, hopefully, they’ll one day magically disappear, and says, “I missed you so much.” 

Chapter Text

Taehyung is nervous about exchanging Christmas gifts. 

Sure, by the time that Jimin and Jungkook come back and get fully unpacked, it’s nearly a month after Christmas, but Taehyung still feels really nervous. The portrait of Yoongi and Jungkook and the portrait of Jimin are some of Taehyung’s most vulnerable works to date.

Logistically, Taehyung could have given Yoongi his and Jungkook’s gift on Christmas day, since they had spent the entire day together. But now that Taehyung considers Jungkook to be one of his best friends, second only to Yoongi at the moment, he didn’t want to make Jungkook feel left out of the gift exchange by letting Yoongi open their joint gift. Taehyung also understands that there’s no way for them to share the one portrait, since they live in different apartments, but he doesn’t think that Yoongi will mind letting Jungkook keep the painting in his bedroom. 

Also per Taehyung’s request, Yoongi had not yet given Taehyung his Christmas gift. He thought that it would be more fun for all of them to exchange on the same day. Plus, Taehyung knows that Jungkook bought him a gift because Yoongi had told him, so Taehyung’s not nervous about that aspect of exchanging gifts. 

But Taehyung doesn’t know if Jimin had purchased him something for Christmas, which is really the heart of the nerves singing in his body. 

Of course, Taehyung isn’t expecting or demanding a gift from Jimin. He’s not rude, after all. And if Jimin genuinely didn’t want to buy Taehyung something, Taehyung wouldn’t mind. But he thinks that things might get awkward if Taehyung hands Jimin a portrait that he’s spent hours working on and Jimin wasn’t expecting anything so he didn’t get Taehyung anything- 

Yeah, it could get awkward. 

Taehyung’s been in that position. When he worked at a retail store in high school, two separate coworkers gave Taehyung a gift. Taehyung hadn’t bought anything for either of them and he felt awkward and awful about it. He’d been thankful that they both gifted him gifts on the twenty-second, and they all actually worked together on Christmas eve, so he’d just lied and said that he was waiting for the closest day to Christmas to give them their gifts. After work that day, he took the bus to another store and bought some last minute items to give to them. 

He doesn’t want to put Jimin in a position where he feels awkward or bad, so Taehyung realizes that he probably should have thought this out a little more beforehand. 

The seven friends decide to have the “Gift Exchange”- put in quotations by Seokjin, who then yelled at Taehyung for continuing to call the hangout the “Gift Exchange” because Seokjin, Namjoon, and Hoseok had all exchanged all of their gifts on Christmas day- on the final Friday in January. 

Seokjin had offered to make stew for everyone and Yoongi said that he would buy wine so long as Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook were willing to host. Jimin seemed so thrilled by having a housewarming party that Taehyung couldn’t have denied hosting if he wanted to. 

The “Gift Exchange” is actually really great because Yoongi, tired of hearing about how Jungkook and Taehyung broke one of the barstools in their apartment, had gone scouring the internet for a dining table and found one for the apartment for relatively cheap. It’s being brought there the same day of the event (because Yoongi is a sweet enough talker that he managed to buy it for less money than the listing price asked for and got the man he was buying it from to deliver it as well; though, Jungkook, Taehyung, and Yoongi are supposed to be responsible for getting it into their apartment). Taehyung’s happy for that because it means that they’ll all have somewhere to sit while eating Seokjin’s food.

The morning of the “Gift Exchange”, Taehyung heads to a local cafe to get some coffee, figuring that he can go to the grocery store after because they should probably have a few more drink options than just the wine Yoongi is buying. 

He also just wants to stay away from the apartment because he is wholly uninterested in helping Yoongi and Jungkook move the table into the apartment- because he assumes that most of the moving the table process will be Yoongi thirsting over Jungkook’s muscles- so he hopes that he might be able to stay out long enough that he doesn’t have to help them and be an unfortunate witness to their weirdly public displays of affection. 

Jimin and Hoseok are at dance club all day, too, so neither of them will help Yoongi and Jungkook. Taehyung isn’t sure about Namjoon and Seokjin, but they both seem like they would easily tell Yoongi that they won’t help. Yoongi might act annoyed about not having anyone else to help out, but Taehyung is fairly certain that the move will just end in Jungkook and Yoongi having sex.

So Taehyung goes and gets a hot latte from the cafe that he likes, then heads to his local grocery store to get some bottles of water and probably some cans of Diet Coke, since Jungkook is constantly drinking them. He also grabs a few different kinds of snacks.

Taehyung shoves what he can into his backpack, kind of regretting not going to the grocery store right before heading home for the day. Now he’s still hours away from the time that he wants to return home, and his backpack is really heavy and he knows that there’s no way that he’s going to be able to sneak back into his apartment without being roped into helping Jungkook and Yoongi. 

Instead of going back, Taehyung decides to go to one of the art stores in his new neighborhood. 

He has to search for one on his maps- Taehyung wasn’t even sure that his neighborhood would have an art store- because he hasn’t lived in the area for even a month yet. So it’s not a store that he’s been to before, but there’s a four and a half star rating on Naver Maps and it’s tucked in between a florist and a coffee shop that both have nice reviews, so he thinks that it’s probably a safe bet to go to. 

Taehyung really hasn’t had any need to go to an art store since the summer prior. Often, his canvas sizes are pre-selected by the professors that he has, and it’s usually easiest to just go to the campus bookstore to buy them. Plus, the art studio on campus is usually well-stocked with paint, and Taehyung still has his own paints (though he doesn’t have too much left of the really nice set that his dad purchased him) so he hasn’t really needed to restock yet.

But now, Taehyung has a couple of hours to kill, and with all of the paintings for Christmas and his own personal collection of paintings of Jimin, he doesn’t have any canvases left and he wants to do a small spree at the art store. 

Taehyung takes the bus because his backpack really is heavy and he doesn’t want to carry it the whole twenty-minute walk to the store, thankful that he had realized in the fall that his student ID gets him a discounted bus fare. Taehyung makes a mental checklist of all of the things that he needs to do while he’s in the store: buy new canvases, look at how much it would cost to buy film because apparently Jungkook and Yoongi have taken up photography as a hobby and Taehyung wants to support them, stare at the same brand of expensive paints that his dad bought him the previous year and try not to cry because he definitely cannot afford them right now. 

A typical art store run, really. 

When Taehyung walks into the store, he almost cries at how relieved he feels to be in a place that’s so… safe to him. 

It’s not that Taehyung hasn’t felt immersed in art lately. Not really. Because Taehyung has been painting, pouring his emotions into his art more than he ever had when he lived at home. But Taehyung remembers how calming every single one of his weekly trips to his local art store in Daegu had been. Even when Taehyung was feeling upset about his relationship with his family and his lack of friends, Taehyung could find himself searching for deals on paints and canvases in that small store for hours. It was no doubt the best part of Taehyung’s week every single week.

Taehyung doesn't want to think about how it was originally his favorite part of the week because his mom always took him, asking him about what ideas were swimming around in his head and what he was planning to create with everything that they bought. He doesn’t want to think about it at all, so he pushes any thoughts of his mom as far back in his mind as they can possibly go without disappearing entirely.

Taehyung bows to the man behind the counter, who looks like he’s probably a college student as well, before heading into the first aisle, keen to see what this place has in store for him. 

Taehyung has been in the store for hours- genuinely long enough that the man behind the counter checked in on Taehyung in multiple aisles- when Yoongi calls him. 

“You’re not calling me while your dick is still inside Jungkookie, are you?” He asks, teasing a bit. 

Teasing Yoongi about his sex life with Jungkook is particularly fun for Taehyung. While Jungkook will happily (and often without invitation) share every last detail about their sex life with Taehyung, Yoongi is much more shy. 

Yoongi scoffs through the phone, but Taehyung is pleased to hear Yoongi's breath sound even on the other end. 

“Just because you’re not having sex doesn’t mean that you have to be so needy about hearing what happens in mine ,” Yoongi argues, sounding annoyed. “Plus, I would never call you while Jungkook and I are having sex-” 

“Unless we had your explicit consent beforehand,” Jungkook pipes in, voice sounding distant. 

Taehyung laughs, entirely too used to Jungkook making comments like this. He knows that Jungkook and Yoongi are not interested in him romantically or sexually, but Taehyung thinks that it’s nice to have people so close to him that they can joke around about things like this. 

“So, what did you call for?” Taehyung asks, looking at his watch and realizing that he should probably make his final selections in the store and head back home. 

“I can’t just call to check in on my favorite dongsaeng?” Yoongi asks, voice strong with disbelief. “Especially after he ditched me to move a dining table into his apartment all by myself?” 

Taehyung sighs. He doesn’t feel bad about making Jungkook and Yoongi move the dining table themselves. Between Yoongi and Jungkook, they definitely had the strength to get the table into the apartment with no problems. But Yoongi does often call just to check in on Taehyung, so he feels a bit bad about that. “I mean, I guess you can.” 

“Well,” Yoongi says, huffing. “Now you’ve offended me. Really hurt my feelings.” 

“Hyung, I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you.” 

Yoongi hums through the phone. “Well,” he starts, voice sounding happy all of a sudden. “I guess you could stop by the liquor store and grab a few bottles of wine and soju for tonight. I spent so long today moving the table that I didn’t have a chance to go grab any of that.” 

Taehyung nods, despite the fact that Yoongi can’t see him. He’s thinking about how many bags he’s going to be carrying and how heavy everything is going to be. Briefly, Taehyung wonders if he can get Seokjin to come pick him up in the car he never drives. 

“Of course, hyung,” Taehyung says anyway. “I can do that. I’ll grab all of your favorites!” 

“You’re the best,” Yoongi says and hangs up. 

Taehyung realizes fairly quickly that he’s been tricked into buying the drinks that Yoongi had promised for everyone for the evening, because he definitely would have had time to stop, but he takes his purchases from the grocery store and the art store into the liquor store with him anyway. 

🍯

“So,” Jimin says, loudly enough that Taehyung nearly jumps while pouring his drink in their small kitchen. “I heard that hyung tricked you into buying the drinks for us tonight.” 

Taehyung sighs, feeling a little tipsy. He’s currently mixing his third drink in as many hours, which would be fine if Taehyung wasn’t such a heavy pourer. And if Jungkook hadn’t asked him to take somewhere between two and four shots of soju with him.

“He took advantage of my love, Jiminie,” Taehyung whines, pushing his lips out into a pout. “It’s unfair.” 

Jimin makes a face that looks like he’s a bit in pain and Taehyung doesn’t quite know why. Taehyung wonders if maybe Jimin got hurt in dance practice. Taehyung knows that Yoongi had been lying about Hoseok hurting his ankle, but ever since then, he’s been worried about Jimin hurting himself at dance. 

“I would never betray you like that,” Jimin says, suddenly smiling and looking so, so fond of Taehyung. “I would have gone out and bought it myself. Even if it made me late.”

Taehyung smiles at Jimin, unable to tell if the nauseated feeling in his stomach is from the drinking or from Jimin’s pretty face. 

“Okay, then we’ll be partners-in-crime, in that case, instead of me and Yoongi-hyung,” Taehyung says, putting his cup on the counter, deciding that he should switch to drinking water for a while. 

Jimin laughs at him, holding his own cup up to his lips, but never actually taking a sip. Taehyung leans forward so that he can whisper to Jimin, but he leans too far forward and stumbles into Jimin. 

“Will we be?” 

Taehyung nods. “Yeah! Because hyung and I are supposed to be partners-in-crime, but Yoongi-hyung is doing all of the crime and I’m the one getting crimed!”

“Crimed is not a word, Tae,” Jimin says, one hand finding Taehyung’s hip to help steady him. Taehyung vaguely notices Jimin set his own cup down before both of Jimin’s hands are settling on his hips.

Taehyung finds it hard to focus through the fuzziness in his brain and the fuzziness in his heart, but he tries to remember what it was that he wanted to tell Jimin tonight. 

“Oh,” Taehyung says out loud, suddenly remembering, and startles Jimin. “I have a Christmas present for you. I have to give it to you tonight.” 

“We can do it some other time,” Jimin says, hands still on Taehyung’s hips. “We don’t have to do it tonight.” 

Taehyung shakes his head, the sudden desire to have Jimin see his painting overwhelming Taehyung’s senses. Maybe it’s because he’s tipsy, maybe it’s because Jimin looks super pretty tonight, or maybe it’s because Taehyung has fallen so deeply in love with Jimin in the last ten months that he can’t wait another second to show Jimin just how much he loves him.

Even though he’ll never say the words out loud and Jimin will probably never return his feelings, Taehyung really wants to make Jimin feel loved. For as long as Jimin will have him around. 

“We have to do it now, okay?” Taehyung asks, a small bit of braveness overtaking his heart. “Let’s go to my room. That’s where your gift is.” 

Taehyung grabs onto Jimin’s hand, finally pulling it away from Taehyung’s hip. His mind clears a little, though he definitely feels fuzzy still. Suddenly, Taehyung is grateful for the decision to stop drinking. 

“I just need to get some water first, okay?” Taehyung asks, voice quiet in a stark difference to the way that he was purposefully being loud earlier so that Yoongi would hear him complaining. 

Jimin smiles at him again and Taehyung’s heart melts. He’s not sure that he’s ever seen someone so beautiful before and Taehyung once again doesn’t know how to stop all of the feelings that are swirling inside his heart. Sometimes, like right now, Taehyung thinks that he doesn’t want to stop the feelings. Thinks that he could live contentedly even if Jimin marries someone else, so long as Jimin never stops smiling at him like that.

“I’ll get it for you,” Jimin whispers, leaving Taehyung to momentarily drown in his feelings. 

Taehyung chugs the glass of water that Jimin brings him, mentally preparing himself to give Jimin the painting. He wants to give it to Jimin, wants Jimin to see exactly how much he’s loved. But Taehyung’s simultaneously worried about Jimin being able to look into his heart. Because what if Jimin doesn’t like what he sees? 

Taehyung shakes his head, trying to physically shake the negative thoughts out of his brain, and turns around to face Jimin once again.

He grabs Jimin’s hand and pulls him toward their bedrooms (because, yes, Jimin had taken the one across from him and caused Taehyung to rewatch all seven seasons of New Girl ), shouting to Yoongi and Jungkook that he’ll give them their portrait in exactly seventeen minutes and that they better not try to come get him out of his room before then. 

“Tae,” Jimin says when they arrive at Taehyung’s closed door, laughing as Jungkook tells his Siri to set a timer. “You know that you just told them what you got them for Christmas, right?” 

Taehyung shrugs, not sure that he cares that much. All of his focus is on giving Jimin the painting. 

“Jimin, come here,” Taehyung says, beckoning Jimin inside his room. 

Even though they’ve lived together for a few weeks, Jimin and Taehyung haven’t gone into each other’s bedrooms yet. Ideally, Taehyung wouldn’t have had anyone come into his bedroom, but Jungkook doesn’t quite understand personal space, so he bursts into Taehyung’s bedroom unannounced at least twice per hour if they’re both in the apartment. 

“Your room is really nice,” Jimin says, looking around once Taehyung flicks on the lights. “You have a lot of your paintings hung up.” 

Taehyung nods. He’d been very thankful when, the week prior, Namjoon showed up at the library to study with Taehyung and Yoongi and brought Taehyung a bunch of command strips. Taehyung thanked him profusely, while Namjoon simply blushed and said that he found that they were the best kind to hang up the painting that Taehyung had given them. 

“Yeah,” Taehyung agrees. “I’ve felt better painting in the last few months than I ever have before. I guess I just wanted to put them all on display somewhere, even if they might not be in the showcase.” 

Taehyung heads to his desk- another treasure that Yoongi had found bargain hunting online and insisted that he buy for Taehyung- and grabs the wrapped gift for Jimin.

When Taehyung turns back around, he’s surprised to see that Jimin looks impossibly soft . He also looks kind of scared, like being in a room alone with Taehyung is terrifying to him. Taehyung doesn’t want Jimin to feel scared, or even understand why it is that Jimin looks so nervous, so he rushes to Jimin’s side. The fogginess in his brain is back, but Taehyung doesn’t care. Not when he has to make sure that Jimin is okay.

“Hey,” Taehyung says, voice as soft as Jimin looks. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” 

Jimin nods, still looking a little in pain from earlier and Taehyung’s worry about Jimin’s physical health returns. 

“Yeah, Tae,” Jimin says, voice somehow sounding even quieter than earlier, despite the fact that they’re away from the loudness of the music and their friends. “Yeah, I’m fine.” 

Taehyung doesn’t quite believe him, but he really doesn’t want Jimin to be sad anymore, so he thrusts the gift in Jimin’s direction, huffing out, “This is for you.” 

Jimin unwraps the gift carefully, almost like he knows that it’s something precious. Like he knows that Taehyung threw his heart onto this canvas. Taehyung’s head hurts watching how gently Jimin is, essentially, treating his heart. 

Taehyung knows that Jimin sees what the painting is of when tears start to pool in his eyes.

“Hey,” Taehyung says, reaching out to grab Jimin’s hand once again. He thinks that the alcohol from earlier in the night is making him braver than he normally is because, by Taehyung’s count, he’s held hands with Jimin three separate times in the last hour. Taehyung realizes that he likes how it feels to hold Jimin’s hand. And he wishes that he could do it whenever he wants. 

“Are you okay? Do you not like it?” 

Jimin shakes his head so violently that a few tears hit Taehyung’s face.

“Then what’s wrong?” Taehyung asks, worried that he’s somehow offended Jimin. Worried that, no matter how incredible he had thought the painting was, he hadn’t captured Jimin properly at all. He’s worried that Jimin hates the gift. Worried that maybe he captured Jimin so perfectly that Jimin is able to see directly into Taehyung’s heart and that he’s disgusted by what he’s found. “Did I get it wrong?” 

Much more softly than before, Jimin shakes his head. 

“No, Tae,” he says, tears trailing slowly down his cheeks. Taehyung wants to reach out and use his thumb to wipe them off his face. Wants to have some reason to touch Jimin in any way that he can.

Mostly, Taehyung really wants to comfort Jimin. 

But when he looks back to Jimin’s eyes, Taehyung doesn’t see sadness lingering in his gaze any longer. In fact, Taehyung thinks that Jimin looks somewhat happy.

“You could never get it wrong,” Jimin whispers, his voice so quiet that Taehyung almost doesn’t hear him say anything. “This is the most beautiful gift I’ve ever received, Tae.” 

And, for the second time in his college life, hope sparks somewhere deep in his chest, because Taehyung feels like he might have a chance with Jimin. 

Jimin opens his mouth to speak, but quickly closes it, like he’s unsure what he wants to say. “I- Thank you,” he seems to finally settle on. “Thank you so, so much.” 

Jimin sets the painting down- gently- onto Taehyung’s messy bed. Then, he takes two small steps forward and pulls Taehyung into a hug, wrapping his arms tightly around Taehyung’s waist. And Taehyung thinks that he’ll never feel more comfortable than when Jimin is hugging him. 

“Tae,” Jimin says, suddenly pulling back and looking nervous, his hands laying loosely on Taehyung’s sides. Jimin’s face is moving toward Taehyung, slowly, almost like he wants to be as close as possible to Taehyung. Taehyung understands that- he wants to be as close to Jimin as possible, too. 

“I-” 

Jungkook bursts through the door, phone alarm ringing loudly, signaling the end of Jimin and Taehyung’s seventeen minutes together. 

Taehyung feels Jimin pull back from him quickly. Though Taehyung wanted to be really close physically to Jimin, he hadn’t quite realized how close they were. He knows that, with Jimin’s sudden jump backwards, they probably look like they were engaging in less than wholesome activities in Taehyung’s bedroom. 

Now they’re staring at one another, eyes wide and chests heaving up and down, despite neither of them having done anything remotely physical. 

Jimin looks just as affected as Taehyung feels. And the spark inside of him burns brighter. 

“It’s been exactly seventeen minutes, hyung,” Jungkook says, words a little slurred, clearly having had a bit more to drink in the last twenty-ish minutes. Taehyung can’t pull his eyes away from Jimin to even greet Jungkook. “We have to give you a present now, okay?” 

Taehyung had actually begged Yoongi to not purchase him a gift. After all, not only had Yoongi gotten their dining table and Taehyung’s desk, but he also continues to buy discounted furniture for Taehyung.

One day, when they were out buying a rice cooker because Yoongi insisted that it was a national travesty to not own one, Taehyung became really worried that Yoongi was blowing through the money that he makes as a TA, but Yoongi had firmly told him not to worry about it.

“I’m a trust fund kid,” Yoongi had finally admitted to Taehyung one day when they were picking up a bed frame for Jungkook from someone that Yoongi had haggled with on the internet. “I work the teaching assistant job because I like it. And I room with three other people because I don’t like being alone. And I want to help you and Jungkookie because I love you two the most in the world.” 

Taehyung definitely cried that day. 

“Oh,” Taehyung replies to Jungkook, now, in his bedroom, eyes still not leaving Jimin’s face. “Yeah. Yeah, we can come out there for gifts.” 

Taehyung tries to take in every aspect of Jimin’s face in the quick moment that he has before he has to leave. Jimin’s eyes are a bit red, a bit glossy from the happy tears that he’d been crying just a few moments earlier, but Taehyung also sees something like confusion swirling around inside of them as well. Taehyung wonders, not for the first time tonight, if he had gotten too close to exposing his true feelings for Jimin. If those feelings had confused Jimin. 

Jimin moves quickly, mumbling something about how he needs to put Taehyung’s gift away and grab gifts for the others, and leaves Taehyung standing bewildered in his bedroom. 

“Woah,” Jungkook says, watching Taehyung closely. Taehyung finally meets Jungkook’s eyes. “Did you two make out?” 

Taehyung shakes his head. 

“Were you about to?” 

Taehyung starts to deny it, say that that’s not what was about to happen, but he actually doesn’t know. He can’t say for sure that Jimin didn’t want to kiss him just moments ago. He also can’t say for sure that Jimin might look at him that same way again.

In a weird sort of way, Taehyung’s glad that they didn’t kiss. And he definitely has a list of reasons why. First, he’s kind of drunk. And second, he can’t start something with Jimin if Jimin doesn’t feel the same way for him. Can’t be a meaningless hookup and wake up the next morning to Jimin asking him to forget about it because he’s still crushing on some other guy that Taehyung doesn’t even know. 

Taehyung doesn’t think that he could survive kissing Jimin right now, so he’s kind of glad that Jungkook interrupted it. 

Ten minutes later, Jungkook has cried into Taehyung’s shoulder, blabbering on about how beautiful he finds the painting, while Yoongi dabs at his eyes with his sleeve and pretends that he’s entirely unaffected by the gift.

Jimin shyly hands Taehyung his present, telling him that he hopes that he likes it. When he unwraps it, Taehyung’s amazed to see the same brand of paints that he had gotten from his dad at the beginning of his college career. 

“Jimin-” he says, but Jimin doesn’t let him go any further. 

“I noticed that you like that brand. And you’ve obviously created so many beautiful things with them,” he says, nodding toward the canvas that Jungkook is now cradling like a newborn child. “I’m really happy to give you more of them, so that you can keep sharing your talent with the world.” 

Taehyung nods, throat feeling dry. The paints are not inexpensive at all. Taehyung knows that Jimin gets an allowance from his parents, but also knows that Jimin had been wanting to look for a part-time job to give himself more spending money. His allowance from his parents covers rent and groceries and not much else. So Taehyung knows that this was something of a sacrifice that Jimin made. For him. 

Taehyung’s heart aches. 

🍯

Hours later, Taehyung thinks that he might be the only sober person in the apartment. He hadn’t liked the dizzy feelings in his heart and his head after the soju shots and mixed drinks from earlier in the night, so he had switched to drinking water only. Especially after the moment that he and Jimin shared in his bedroom. 

However, the rest of his friends did not seem to feel the same need. 

Taehyung genuinely doesn’t know where a lot of the alcohol came from. He assumes that Hoseok, Namjoon, and Seokjin brought it, if Hoseok pulling a bottle of something out of the long coat he wore to the apartment is anything to go by. Though, apparently unconcerned about where the alcohol came from, everyone chose to still drink the mystery booze. 

So, a sober Taehyung is now sitting on the couch, squished up against the armrest while Jungkook and Yoongi eagerly make out right next to him. He had tried to get up once, moments after Jungkook slung his leg over Yoongi’s hips, but Jungkook hadn’t let him. He’d stopped kissing Yoongi and whined that, by leaving, Taehyung was showing that he’s not supportive of Yoongi and Jungkook as a couple and that he was probably homophobic. 

Taehyung rolled his eyes, knowing that Jungkook was just being drunk and whiny, but before he could retort that he was very gay, Jungkook’s lips were already attacking Yoongi’s again.

And Taehyung really does know that Jungkook is just whiny and drunk. Over the few months that they’ve been best friends, Taehyung has learned that when he gets drunk, Jungkook craves being close to those he loves most. Taehyung’s honored to be someone who Jungkook loves, someone who Jungkook wants to be around to take care of him while he’s drunk. Taehyung just wishes that drunk-Jungkook could be around Yoongi without being in some state of arousal. 

Jimin and Hoseok are sitting on the chair that’s next to Taehyung’s side of the couch, both somehow fitting in the seat without either of them being on the armrests. Taehyung tries not to think about how small Jimin is that he can fit in there so easily and instead briefly wonders where Namjoon and Seokjin are. He’s not sure that they’re even in the apartment at all, vaguely concerned because he can’t hear Seokjin’s high-pitched laugh any longer.

When the unfortunate kissing next to him becomes a bit wetter and a lot louder, Taehyung does his best to tune into Jimin and Hoseok’s conversation next to him instead of the smacking noises on his right side. 

“Please,” Jimin says. Taehyung’s not quite sure what they’re talking about since he’s tuning into the middle of the conversation, but Jimin sounds a little bit annoyed. “You three are practically dating.” 

Taehyung is surprised to hear that. Proud of himself for not gasping, he strains to try to hear them better, really trying his best to tune out Yoongi and Jungkook incessantly making out. 

Taehyung actually had thought that Namjoon, Hoseok, and Seokjin were already a throuple. He hadn’t heard anything to suggest otherwise since Yoongi had told him (and Jungkook showed him the video) about the three of them dramatically kissing each other goodbye before Hoseok went home for Christmas, so Taehyung had just assumed that the three of them were all boyfriends. 

“I mean,” Hoseok says, words slurred from the mystery bottle of alcohol. “We all know that we’re interested in each other romantically and sexually. But that does not mean that we’re dating.” 

Jimin scoffs. 

“I’m serious-” 

“Please,” Jimin says again, sounding even more annoyed. “Just ask them, Hobi-hyung! If T- my crush ever even suggested that he might like me back, I would ask him out in half a fucking second. You and the other hyungs have been pining around each other for all three fucking years that you’ve known each other.” 

Jimin still sounds annoyed, but something in his voice sounds defeated, too. 

“I mean, isn’t it a privilege?” He asks, sighing. “Isn’t it a privilege to know that the person- or people, in your case- that you’re in love with are in love with you back? I feel like I can only dream of it at this point.” 

Hoseok’s eyes flick toward Taehyung, who quickly looks away, embarrassed to be caught listening in on their conversation. Though he also thinks that Jimin and Hoseok should have expected him to be listening in because his other option is listening to the dirty talk that’s happening on his right side. And though he’s certain that Jungkook will tell him unprovoked, Taehyung isn’t interested in hearing the words that turn Yoongi on. 

In the following silence, Taehyung finally braves a look back at the chair, and Jimin and Hoseok are already looking at him. 

“Oh,” Taehyung says, trying to act casual, like he only just noticed that they’re even in the living room with him. “Hey.” 

Jungkook’s knee digs into Taehyung’s side and Taehyung wishes that he could move without Jungkook whining again. Taehyung thinks that Jungkook is probably being petty, annoyed that Taehyung isn’t paying attention to him , but Taehyung has to draw a line in the sand with their friendship somewhere. 

“Ow,” Taehyung says pointedly and Jungkook removes his knee from Taehyung’s intestines. 

“Hey, Taehyungie,” Jimin says, and he sounds fond, fond, fond once again. It makes Taehyung’s heart ache in the most delightful way, but he still tries to push it down because he doesn’t want to make it obvious how jealous he is that Jimin likes someone else. 

“How are you liking the front row seat to our Jungkookie’s first porno?” Jimin asks, something teasing in his voice. 

Taehyung looks around, tries to sit up but he’s really trapped by Jungkook and Yoongi, who somehow have not had to come up for air during the entire time that Taehyung has been listening in on Jimin and Hoseok’s conversation. 

“Oh, god,” he says, panicking. “Did they actually set up a camera in here?” 

“I wouldn’t put it past them,” Jimin says, laughing, sounding light and high and sweet like always. And Taehyung is so fucking in love with him that he’s glad that he’s sober now. If he were drunk, Taehyung is fairly certain that he would have blurted it out right then. “There’s probably not a camera in here.” 

“Well,” Hoseok says, cocking his head to the side, eyes trained on Taehyung like he’s studying him. Taehyung squirms. “What do you think?” 

Taehyung tilts his head, confused. 

“About what Jiminie and I were saying earlier,” he prompts. 

“Me?” Taehyung asks, as though Hoseok isn’t making direct eye contact with him. 

Hoseok nods, a small hum coming from his throat. “Yes, you,” he laughs. 

“I mean, I thought that you and hyungs were dating,” Taehyung admits. “The video that Kook showed me- I mean, you guys were really going at it. Like, I thought that Yoongi-hyung was exaggerating when he said it was a four and a half minute affair, but you three were really just going for it in the doorway. Actually, I was most surprised that the door was literally open -” 

“Taehyung,” Hoseok cuts him off, laughing. “I meant about the confessing thing.” 

Once again, Taehyung tilts his head in confusion. “What do you mean?” 

Jimin is giggling, a clear sign that he’s drunk, according to sober Jimin. “Do you feel like you need to be absolutely certain that someone likes you before you ask them on a date? Or do you just go for it and worry about the title or their exact feelings later?” 

Taehyung pauses, though he doesn’t quite need to think about it. Just earlier, he realized that he couldn’t kiss Jimin unless he knew that Jimin liked him back. 

“I’m not the best person to ask,” he admits. “I’ve never asked anyone out. Or, like, even gone out on a date with someone before.” 

Jimin’s eyebrows shoot up. “I’ve heard half of our class talking about how they wanted to go out with you last semester. You’re saying that you never went out with any of them?” 

Taehyung shakes his head. 

“Really?” Hoseok asks, sounding like he doesn’t believe Taehyung.

“I mean,” he says, feeling his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. “I guess people have asked me out. But, like, half of them were girls and I am very gay, so they don’t count.” 

“Huh,” Hoseok says, but nods like it makes sense. “I only ever heard guys talking about you, but I guess I can see that girls would like you, too. And I definitely spend more time with dudes.” 

Taehyung’s blush deepens. He probably looks like he’s spent days in the sun without any sunblock. 

“I already told hyungs and Jungkook,” Taehyung explains. “People don’t actually think that.” 

Suddenly, Jungkook and Yoongi’s wet, loud noises halt. 

“Hyung,” Jungkook says, slinging his left leg over Yoongi so that he can place himself as in between Taehyung and Yoongi as possible. Mostly, he’s just sitting half on Yoongi and half on Taehyung. “I know that you don’t think that everyone finds you to be ridiculously hot, but they do . And you need to have the confidence to believe that everyone thinks that you’re insanely good looking.” 

“Okay, Jungkookie,” Taehyung says, rolling his eyes even though he’s feeling incredibly fond. 

Taehyung gives Yoongi a look that says ‘Please get your horny boyfriend off of me’ and thankfully Yoongi receives his telepathy, yanking Jungkook back toward him. 

“Well,” Jungkook says, sounding offended but also no longer interested in convincing Taehyung that people think he’s attractive. “Let’s go to my room, please.” 

Yoongi immediately stands up and grabs onto Jungkook’s wrist, pulling him out of the living room, without so much as a goodbye to anyone. 

When they’re out of sight, far enough away that Taehyung thinks that they won’t hear him and Jungkook won’t turn around to continue what they were doing beside him before, Taehyung says, “Thank god. My ears were starting to hurt with how loud they were being.” 

“Sometimes, I really can’t tell if he wants to have sex with you or not,” Jimin says, bluntly, looking kind of angry. 

Suddenly Taehyung is concerned that Jimin has a crush on Jungkook or Yoongi. If that’s the case, he hopes that Jimin never tells him. He’s not sure how his heart would handle that information for a variety of reasons. 

“Jimin!” Hoseok shrieks. 

Jimin shrugs, ignoring Hoseok’s wide eyes. 

“Are you trying to date them ?” Jimin asks Taehyung, head jerking toward Jungkook’s bedroom. 

Taehyung’s eyes practically bulge out of his head. “Oh, god, no,” he says quickly, words rushing out of him. Jimin raises an eyebrow, almost like he doesn’t believe Taehyung, so Taehyung continues, “Yoongi-hyung is quite literally like an older brother to me and Jungkookie is just my other best friend who doesn’t quite understand boundaries yet.” 

“He’s never really acted like that with us,” Jimin says, turning to face away from Taehyung, almost like he’s upset. Taehyung doesn’t understand. He wonders what it is that is really bothering Jimin. Really starts to wonder if Jungkook is the boy that Jimin’s crushing on. 

Taehyung shrugs, feeling a bit awkward. “I mean, I would never act like that with Yoongi-hyung, or even Seokjinie-hyung,” he explains. “It’s more comfortable for me to be like that with Jungkook than it would be for me to be like that with people I consider to be my brothers. And Jungkookie considers you both to be his brothers.” 

“I guess,” Jimin says, still not turning to look at Taehyung.

“It’s true,” Taehyung insists.

“But,” Jimn says, pausing for a moment and Taehyung wishes that he could just catch a glimpse inside of Jimin’s brain. “You really don’t like either of them?” 

Taehyung shakes his head, still thoroughly confused because he had been so sure earlier in the night that Jimin had figured out Taehyung’s feelings. “Not at all.” 

Hoseok hums from beside Jimin and Taehyung feels bad that he had pretty much forgotten his friend was sitting in the chair still. “So, do you think that Jimin should ask out his crush?” 

Internally, Taehyung panics for a brief moment. Logically, he knows that he doesn’t have long to think about an answer before his silence becomes awkward, but he resolutely doesn’t know how to answer that particular question. Taehyung hasn’t necessarily been hiding his feelings for Jimin- he thinks that Jimin is the only person who doesn’t know about Taehyung’s feelings- but he hasn’t directly said it out loud to anyone besides Yoongi and Jungkook. 

Taehyung thinks that, if Jimin asked, he’d answer as truthfully as he had answered about liking Yoongi and Jungkook, but he doesn’t think it’s a wise idea to offer up that information right now. 

Taehyung thinks that saying, “Yes, Jimin, you should ask out this boy who you like who isn’t me,” would give off the impression that he’s not in love with Jimin. Thinks that saying, “No, please only ask me out and never anyone else,” is way more honest than he can afford to be right now. 

“I think,” he says, slowly, trying to buy himself some time. “I think that I want Jimin to be happy. So, if asking out his crush will make him happy, then he should do it.” 

Hoseok nods. “I personally think that his crush likes him back.” 

He’s not surprised that Hoseok knows who Jimin likes, knows that they’re best friends, but something icky still worms its way into his heart when hearing that. Taehyung wishes that Jimin would just tell him so that he can start to properly move on. 

But , something in his heart whispers, Think about the way that he looked at you in your bedroom. He could like you . 

“I want to be happy, too,” Jimin says, finally turning to face Taehyung once again. “But he’s so hard to read. Sometimes, I really think that he might like me back. I think that maybe he could be half as in love with me as I am with him.” 

Taehyung’s heart cracks hearing how gone for this mystery man Jimin is. But, still, he nods, trying to seem encouraging anyway. 

Jimin continues. “But sometimes- sometimes, he just seems so indifferent to me that I think he could literally have a crush on anyone or no one. Sometimes it feels like he treats me differently, like he sees me . But sometimes it feels like he treats me the same exact way that he treats everyone around us and I don’t know how to know what he’s feeling.” 

“I’m sorry,” Taehyung whispers. Then, even though the words feel heavy in his throat, he adds, “I hope- I hope that if you tell him- Jimin, I really hope he doesn’t ever make you question how he’s feeling about you. If you tell him, I hope that he lets you know every day how much he loves you. You definitely deserve someone who shows you just how much they care about you.” 

And Taehyung knows that different people have different love languages, and he knows that it takes some time to learn someone else’s love language, but Taehyung likes to show love. Giving gifts, acts of service, physical touch. These are all much more Taehyung’s style than just outright telling someone how much he loves them. 

But maybe Jimin needs to hear the words from his crush. Maybe he needs words of affirmation and vocal validation. Taehyung thinks that he’d try really hard to meet Jimin’s love language if he was Jimin’s boyfriend. 

Jimin sighs, eyes glistening like he might cry. 

“Yeah,” he says, voice quiet. “I thought that you’d say something like that.” 

Taehyung isn’t sure what he said that was wrong. Not sure what hurt Jimin. But clearly, he didn’t say what Jimin wanted to hear. So, he sinks into the couch, doomed to listen to Jungkook’s unreasonably loud moans until it feels like a safe enough time to hide out in his own room without seeming like he’s avoiding Jimin or Hoseok or the entire conversation. 

🍯

Me > Jungkookie, Yoongi-hyung
[1:32 AM]
are you guys dressed

Jungkookie > Me, Yoongi-hyung
[1:32 AM]
define dressed

Me > Jungkookie, Yoongi-hyung
[1:33 AM]
can i come cuddle in bed with you guys
i’m sad
but i also am not interested in seeing or feeling evidence of your
…
sexual activities

Yoongi-hyung > Me, Jungkookie
[1:35 AM]
of course you can sleep in here with us
jungkook has, like, four sets of sheets in here
so we can just change them really quickly

Me > Jungkookie, Yoongi-hyung
[1:36 AM]
i really hate that you guys didn’t change them before
don’t sleep in your cum please

Jungkookie > Me, Yoongi-hyung
[1:37 AM]
but it’s romantic :(

Me > Jungkookie, Yoongi-hyung
[1:37 AM]
it’s really NOT

Yoongi-hyung > Me, Jungkookie
[1:40 AM]
sheets are changed

Jungkookie > Me, Yoongi-hyung
[1:41 AM]
should i make some tea?
do you want to talk or just go to sleep?

Me > Jungkookie, Yoongi-hyung
[1:42 AM]
just sleep, please
we can
idk
maybe talk about it tomorrow

Yoongi-hyung > Me, Jungkookie
[1:43 AM]
whatever you need, taehyungie
i love you

Jungkookie > Me, Yoongi-hyung
[1:43 AM]
i loved you first

Me > Jungkookie, Yoongi-hyung
[1:44 AM]
i love you both
i’m omw now
wanted to give you time to get the bedtime kisses out of the way now
because i get to sleep in the middle

Jungkookie > Me, Yoongi-hyung
[1:45 AM]
bold of you to assume that we won’t make out over top of you

🍯

Taehyung wakes up on Saturday feeling warm and happy. He knows that it’s fleeting- this feeling of warmth and love- because he knows that Yoongi will push him to talk about last night. That he’ll ask why Taehyung wanted to come and sleep in Jungkook’s bed and then cried for an hour while Jungkook pet his hair and Yoongi kept getting up to refill Taehyung’s water glass so that he wouldn’t have a dehydration headache in the morning. 

If Taehyung is telling the complete truth, there’s not one thing in particular that had made him cry like a newborn for an extended period of time the night before. 

Taehyung thinks that maybe he’s felt sad and anxious for a while, and the thought that he had somehow upset Jimin so much without knowing why pushed him over the edge.

When he crawled in between Jungkook and Yoongi the night before, Taehyung genuinely had no plans on sobbing. In fact, he thought that if he felt safe in between his two closest friends, then he would be able to fall asleep more quickly than normal. Thought that he could push the feelings down like he’s been going back and forth on for the last few months, a constant push and pull of being content in his feelings and wanting to bury them so far inside him that no one will be able to tell that he has any emotions at all. 

But once he was safe and comfortable, Taehyung felt the tears start to pool in his eyes, burning hot in the corners of his eyes. Rather quickly, his breath started to get more and more shallow until he felt like he couldn’t breathe. And the tears flowed easily. 

So Taehyung knows that Yoongi will want to talk, but for now, he wakes up feeling warm. And he doesn’t just mean metaphorically. Pressed in between Jungkook and Yoongi, Taehyung is actually sweating. He’s really thankful that Yoongi kept forcing him to drink water the night before, wonders briefly how Jimin hadn’t heard all of his sobs and Yoongi trekking into their kitchen in the middle of the night. Then he wonders if Jimin heard everything and just decided to actively not deal with it. 

No , Taehyung’s brain tells him immediately. Jimin cares about you . 

And Taehyung knows that technically that information is true, but his heart is feeling a little raw and his brain is feeling confused from the night before and Taehyung thinks that maybe his head is trying to trick him right now. 

“Taehyungie,” Yoongi whispers from Taehyung’s right. 

He’d been wholly unsurprised that Yoongi sleeps on the outside of the bed, with Jungkook pressed up against the wall. Even before Taehyung’s meltdown- before Yoongi needed to keep getting up for Taehyung- Yoongi had laid on the outside of the bed, protecting Jungkook, or ready to provide for him in an instant if needed. 

Taehyung’s heart burns with how lovely he thinks his friends are together. Taehyung hopes that one day he can have a love like the two of them have, even if it’s not with Jimin. 

“Hey, hyung,” Taehyung says, turning to face Yoongi, and trying to keep his voice low as Jungkook lightly snores next to him. “How did you sleep after I finally passed out? I’m sorry that I kept you up late.” 

He’s genuinely sorry for that. Taehyung knows that Yoongi already has a hard time sleeping as it is, so he hates to add to the stress that Yoongi might be under from being unable to sleep through the night. 

Yoongi rolls his eyes, but he doesn’t look angry. More like he’s annoyed at Taehyung for apologizing. Yoongi lifts his head up to peer over Taehyung, to check on Jungkook, and Taehyung feels a deep ache wishing that Jimin would check in on him like that, or that he had the ability to check on Jimin like that. 

He wonders if they’re close enough friends that Taehyung could crawl into bed with Jimin when he’s feeling sad. Wonders if Jimin letting him sleep in his bed would make Taehyung fall further in love with him. Wonders if he would just cry even harder if Jimin is gentle with his heart. Wonders if Jimin would bring him water like Yoongi had, would offer to make him tea like Jungkook had.

Taehyung wonders if he’ll ever be able to see Jimin as a friend like he sees Yoongi and Jungkook. 

He wants to be able to see him as a friend if that’s what Jimin wants from him. 

“Be quiet,” Yoongi quietly scolds. “It will never be an inconvenience to me to help you out, you know? I love you. You’re my family now. And I will always be here for you.” 

Taehyung nods, trying to believe what Yoongi is saying to him. Of course, Yoongi has never shown him anything but kindness and love, so he has no reason to doubt Yoongi’s words. But Taehyung thinks that, just maybe, being abandoned by everyone he’s ever cared about when he was younger simply for being gay has had a negative impact on his self-worth. 

“And Jungkook cares about you, too,” Yoongi adds. “So much so that he’s probably going to beg you to sleep in his bed every night that he’s not sleeping at my house now that he knows that you’re open to platonic cuddles.” 

Taehyung snorts. “He’ll just come to my bed now. Doubt he’ll even ask. I’ll just wake up and find that my room has been invaded by one Jeon Jungkook.” 

Yoongi hums in agreement, fondness swimming in his eyes. “Do you want to talk about last night?” 

Taehyung, despite feeling like he would dread this moment when he first woke up, nods. He knows that he probably needs to get all of his thoughts and emotions out. Lay them out for his friends so that he can start to make sense of everything going on in his heart. He wants to untangle all of the things going on inside him.

Because Taehyung really does feel like he’s feeling ten thousand conflicting emotions all at once. He thought that he could handle them. Thought that he could keep them firmly at bay while he figured out if Jimin might like him back.

But now Taehyung is exhausted and he just wants his hyung to tell him what to do .

“I do,” Taehyung admits, whispering. “But I don’t want to talk about it all here. Not while Jimin’s here and could hear me.” 

Taehyung’s really afraid that once he starts talking, he might not be able to stop. And he knows that really, truly laying out all of his emotions will make him cry again. And if that happens, then Jimin will definitely hear him or see him and Taehyung thinks that he’ll just end up blurting out his love for Jimin without any sound advice from his hyung, so he’d really rather go somewhere else.

“Can go to hyung’s place,” Jungkook says, startling Taehyung. He hasn’t realized that Jungkook was even awake yet. “We don’t have a coffee machine here yet and Yoongi needs coffee or else he won’t be of any help to anyone.” 

“Jungkook, you can’t just startle me like that,” Taehyung exclaims. “You’ll give me a heart attack.” 

Taehyung hears Jungkook snort. “If I haven’t given Yoongi-hyung a heart attack yet, then I won’t give you one either. You’re in way better shape physically than he is.” 

“Taehyung pants if he has to walk more than four blocks,” Yoongi deadpans. 

“Are you saying that I’m in worse shape than Yoongi-hyung emotionally?” Taehyung jokes at the same time. “Because I personally think that I am the pinnacle of health emotionally. No one has ever been more in tune to their feelings than me in the history of the world.” 

“Delusion must be a side effect of the ‘repressing your emotions’ thing,” Yoongi says, getting out of bed. “We’ll go to my place. I’m fairly certain that hyung and the other two stayed here last night.” 

That surprises Taehyung. “Oh, really? I hadn’t seen Namjoonie-hyung or Seokjinie-hyung since before you two started fornicating on the couch.” 

Jungkook rubs at his temple, likely trying to remember their intense makeout session from the night before. 

Taehyung continues, “I would have gone to find them-” 

“But you were too immersed in listening to Jiminie-hyung talk about his crush?” Jungkook asks, pushing Taehyung toward the edge of the bed, urging him to get up as well. 

“What?” Jungkook asks when he notices Yoongi and Taehyung staring at him strangely. 

“You were listening to a whole different conversation while in my lap?” 

“Hyung,” Taehyung shouts. “We already knew that he was listening. He kept kneeing me in the stomach because he was jealous! He made Jiminie ask if we were all trying to date! It was a horrific moment in my life solely because Jungkook was listening.” 

Yoongi raises an eyebrow. “Really?” 

Taehyung nods. 

“What did you say?” 

“Obviously that we aren’t trying to date,” Taehyung says, rolling his eyes. “And then he started talking about other shit that we’ll talk about at your place, okay?” 

Yoongi looks like he wants to say more, but for Taehyung’s sake, decides to leave it for now. And Taehyung’s thankful for that. 

As Yoongi had thought, Hoseok, Namjoon, and Seokjin are all sleeping on mats- ones that Taehyung has never seen before and has no clue where they came from- in the middle of the living room, donated coffee table from Jimin’s parents pushed up against the couch to make enough room for them to lay down. 

The door to Jimin’s room, like always, is closed.

Taehyung tries to avoid looking at it as they leave the apartment. 

They stop at a coffee shop because Taehyung really wants ginger tea instead of coffee and Yoongi had actually scoffed when Taehyung asked if he had any in his apartment. Then they take the short bus ride to Yoongi’s apartment. 

“So, hyung,” Jungkook says once they’re finally in the safety of Yoongi’s apartment. He looked like he was bursting with questions the entire time that they were sitting on the bus, but was polite enough not to ask any of them, knowing that Taehyung wouldn’t be comfortable until they were firmly out of ear shot of anyone else. “You kind of had a meltdown last night. Totally ruined the mood for hyung and I to smack lips over top of you.” 

“Jungkook,” Yoongi scolds as Taehyung asks, “Smack lips?” 

Jungkook shrugs. “Just trying to ease some of the tension! Taehyungie-hyung is really stressed for some reason.” 

Yoongi grabs Taehyung’s wrist, pulling him to the couch and forcing him to sit. 

“You really did have some sort of meltdown last night. We don’t have to talk about what caused it, or how much you’re feeling,” Yoongi says, voice gentle, as Jungkook climbs onto the couch beside Yoongi, pressing up against him like it’s the most natural thing in the world. 

“I know-” 

“Hear me out,” Yoongi says. “We don’t have to talk about it, but I want to make sure that you have someone that you can talk to. We have a lot of great resources through the school. Therapists, even ones who are really helpful to LGBT students, are like a dime a dozen here.” 

Taehyung shrugs. “I’m not really interested in a therapist yet.” 

“That’s okay,” Yoongi says. “Can you explain what would make you uncomfortable about a therapist?” 

Taehyung admires Yoongi. In this moment, he can really see why Yoongi and Seokjin started up the LGBTQIA+ club. Yoongi is a natural at helping people. And Seokjin has the ability to make everyone feel at ease. 

“I think that I need to know someone to divulge my vulnerabilities to them,” Taehyung admits. He’s always been that way, always been someone who would rather put his emotions onto a canvas than tell someone about his feelings. And Taehyung just knows that, at this point in his life, he would feel really uncomfortable talking to a therapist. 

He also knows that he probably really should see one, but he’s not quite brave enough to do that yet. 

“You can talk to us, hyung,” Jungkook says, voice quiet. “We love you and know you. And you love us and know us.” 

Taehyung nods. Because he does love Yoongi and Jungkook. And he knows that they love him, too. 

“It’s, like, a bit different, though,” Taehyung pseudo explains.

He doesn’t quite know why. Because Yoongi and Jungkook are his closest friends, but Taehyung doesn’t feel like he’d get much out of telling them about his childhood trauma. He wants them to know, because he wants them to know him, but he doesn’t think that he can tell them about it until he’s processed the trauma himself. Mostly because Taehyung thinks that they would coddle him a bit, both loving him too much to tell him where he’s fucked up in the last few years. 

“I don’t know why. And I swear that it’s not because I don’t trust you guys,” he says, really not wanting to upset them. “I just don’t-” 

“You don’t have to explain anything,” Yoongi says, halting Taehyung’s mini rant. “You don’t owe us or anyone else any explanation for what information about yourself you want to share and what things you’d rather keep private.” 

Taehyung stares at Yoongi. 

“I need to know that you understand that. It’s your life and you don’t owe anyone anything.” 

Taehyung nods. “Okay. I understand.” 

“Plus, you already have shared a lot about your high school years with me,” Yoongi adds. “Maybe not everything, but enough that I think I know what’s going on inside your head.” 

“Hyung-” Taehyung tries to say. 

“No, listen to me, Tae-ah,” Yoongi says, voice serious. “I think that you should talk to Seokjinie-hyung about all of this.” 

Taehyung starts to protest. He doesn’t think that he can talk to any of his friends about what’s going on in his brain right now. But he doesn’t think that he can talk to a therapist either. He doesn’t know what to do. Yoongi quiets his protests once again. 

“Not about your feelings for Jimin,” Yoongi explains. “But about what you went through in high school that’s got you feeling all kinds of upset with yourself. He’ll understand and be able to help you a lot more than Jungkookie or I can.” 

“Of course we’ll always listen and try to help you,” Jungkook adds. “We want you to be your happiest and best self. But if Yoongi-hyung thinks that Seokjinie-hyung is the best person to help you…” 

Taehyung nods. He understands. He knows that acceptance levels from families vary a lot within their friend group, with Seokjin’s family having been the worst of them all. 

Jungkook, Jimin, and Hoseok seem to all have had very accepting parents, with Hoseok and Jimin’s families seeming to have known before Hoseok or Jimin ever came out. Jungkook’s parents apparently didn’t know, but they told him that all they’ve ever wanted was for him to be happy, and that they still loved him very much.

Others, like Taehyung and Namjoon’s families, have pretended that the coming out never happened. Yoongi never even told his parents that he was bisexual, saying that they weren’t around enough for him to even consider them to be his parents.

But Seokjin. 

Seokjin is the only person who hasn’t shared the story of his coming out with Taehyung. He knows the aftermath: Seokjin and Yoongi quickly moving into an apartment together. And Seokjin hasn’t spoken a word to any of his family since the day that he had told him that he was gay. 

Taehyung thinks that there must be something more to the story if Yoongi is saying that Seokjin is the best person to understand his trauma. 

“Oh,” Taehyung says. “That’s a good idea. I think I will talk to Seokjinie-hyung.” 

🍯

Taehyung doesn’t talk to Seokjin. 

He wants to, he swears. Every single time that he meets up with Yoongi, his older friend asks him if he’s talked to Seokjin yet. Taehyung always promises that he’s going to make the time to talk to Seokjin about it, but he really just doesn’t have the time, and when he does see Seokjin, there’s no time or chance to talk about it. 

As the school year heads into May, Taehyung is bogged down with art projects, and he pushes any attempts to get Seokjin alone to the back of his mind. He’d taken a lot of his general courses in his first year of schooling. His maths and sciences mixed in with his art courses. 

This semester, Taehyung is taking four art courses and he feels like he maybe shouldn’t have done that. Because, now, all four of his midterm projects are due during the same week and Taehyung’s wondering if he’s going to be able to get any of them finished at all, let alone get all of them finished.

And even worse than just not getting to talk to Seokjin, Taehyung feels like every cosmic force in the world, or at least all of his professors, have plotted against him in order to force Taehyung to confess to Jimin.

Because every last one of his midterm projects is about longing or love. 

In his Abstract Art II class, his professor has assigned them all the generic concept of love for their midterm project. She had explained that they could create something that expresses any form of love. 

But Taehyung isn’t really interested in putting his familial love into a painting, even though his dad and him are steadily talking on the phone once per week now to talk about how school and life are going. Taehyung’s dad had even asked Taehyung recently if he’s met anyone that he is interested in romantically. Taehyung had stuttered out what he’s sure his dad knew was a lie, saying that he hadn’t found anyone like that. 

So Taehyung thinks that maybe he can put his love for his friends in the painting. After all, even though he hasn’t talked to Seokjin about his “mom abandoned me” problems, Taehyung is still really close to all of his friends. He thinks that he might even be able to use the project as a way to talk to Seokjin while still doing his art project- letting himself really feel around his friends. 

Even after the night of the housewarming party, Taehyung had been afraid that Jimin and Hoseok might be awkward with him, but he was pleasantly surprised to find out that they both had pretended that the whole conversation never happened. 

If anything, Jimin seems to be more comfortable around Taehyung than ever. 

Prior to that night in January, there had been somewhat of a polite distance between Jimin and Taehyung. Sure, they still watched movies together and still texted, but now that they had a couch, they didn’t lay together in Jimin’s bedroom any longer. 

Even when they had lain together in Jimin’s bed, they didn’t cuddle, really just laid next to one another. It’s always been different with Jimin. While Jungkook is comfortable enough with pretty much everyone to just burst into their rooms and crawl into their beds and cuddle up together on the couch, Taehyung and Jimin just aren’t the type of friends who engage in skinship. 

Even though Taehyung is a very tactile person, someone who seeks comfort in the form of hair petting and back scratching, he thinks that he would simply fall further in love with Jimin. Taehyung, based on how hard he had blushed the two times that Jimin’s held his hands, doesn’t think that his heart could handle it if they were those types of friends.

Jimin doesn’t seem to get the memo for Taehyung’s heart, though, because in the few months after their housewarming party, Jimin fully throws himself into being on par with Jungkook with how much he’s touching Taehyung.

When Taehyung’s in the living room, sitting on the floor in front of the couch because the coffee table is the place where he does his Chemistry lab reports (his only non-art class this semester) with the most proficiency, Jimin will come over to him with two cups of green tea in hand and take a seat directly behind him. He’ll card his fingers through Taehyung’s hair as though it’s the most natural thing in the world to him, like he’s not increasing Taehyung’s heart rate to seemingly dangerous levels every time that he does so. 

He’ll say things to Taehyung like, “Your hair is really soft today. Did you buy a new brand of conditioner?” and, “Taehyungie, your hair is getting so long. Don’t get it cut, though. It looks so pretty like this.” and, “Tae, honey, drink the medicine tea that I made you. I don’t want you getting sick from how hard you’re working. I know that the weather is warmer now, but you can still get sick.” 

And Taehyung melts into the touch every single time. Even though he knows that it will just end up hurting him in the end. 

When Taehyung is lounging in bed, watching whatever anime or movie or drama he can find to properly avoid doing his homework, it used to be uncommon to see Jimin. After all, before the housewarming party, Jimin had never been in Taehyung’s room. But now, Jimin will knock on the door, wait three seconds (unlike Jungkook, who just launches the door open - Taehyung quickly learned to take care of his horny issues during his shower time exclusively) and then enter the room. 

Jimin will crawl into bed with Taehyung without a second thought, pushing his body flush with Taehyung’s, and ask what he’s watching, even providing his own commentary on whatever it is that Taehyung’s watching, not realizing that Taehyung can’t focus on his show with Jimin pressed so solidly up against him. 

When they’re doing their laundry together- because yes , they still do their laundry together in the early hours of Tuesday morning- Jimin slides into the seat closest to Taehyung, practically sitting in the same seat as Taehyung, even though there is usually ten empty seats since it’s the middle of the night and no one else is doing their laundry in the laundromat.

Continuing to do laundry together was entirely as coincidental as when they originally started doing laundry together. It was in January, when Taehyung had not done any laundry for nearly two weeks because the week leading up to the “Gift Exchange” had left Taehyung too anxious and exhausted to actually go to the laundromat down the street from their apartment complex. So Taehyung figured that he’d just do his best to shove two weeks worth of laundry into one basket so that he could easily transport it to the laundromat. 

“Oh,” Taehyung had said when he entered the nearly empty laundromat to see Park Jimin sitting on one of the seats against the window. “It’s late.” 

Jimin looked up and smiled at him, not looking very surprised to see Taehyung at all. 

“It is,” Jimin agreed. “I would have waited for you if I had known that you were still doing your laundry in the middle of the night.” 

Taehyung feels his cheeks begin to heat up. “Some habits die hard, I suppose.” 

Then Taehyung rolled his basket toward two empty washing machines. After he’d started the laundry process, he took a seat next to Jimin. They’d mostly sat in silence, since Taehyung had actually brought a sketchbook to keep his drawing skills sharp. Sometimes, Jimin would lean into Taehyung’s space to see what he was working on. 

And the hour and a half between one-thirty in the morning and three in the morning on Tuesdays continued to be Taehyung’s favorite time of the week. 

So, now, Taehyung does want to do his project on his love for his friends, but every time he starts to draw or paint anything, all he sees in it is his romantic love for Jimin. He’s tried everything to make it look like it’s his love for every one of his friends, like using inherently unromantic colors like brown and green, or avoiding using any imagery that might just represent Jimin in some way, but even those attempts end up spilling Taehyung’s guts about how much he likes Jimin. 

The only painting that’s not about Jimin that had turned out to be even slightly good is one that he made about the familial love that he has for Yoongi, but he’s even more shy about putting that one on display than he is about showing off the ones that are about Jimin. So Taehyung decides to hide that one away in his closet until he doesn’t feel too scared to give it to Yoongi. 

The rest of his classes pose a similar issue. Taehyung had decided to take another portrait class, since portraits are his absolute favorite thing to paint, and he’d gotten another really love-heavy assignment there. He’d been given the task of painting someone that he trusts . And he knows that the assignment is to show how much the model trusts him as well. Naturally, scared of being alone in a room where he’d have to draw Jimin, Taehyung had asked Yoongi, and then Jungkook, but both declined to be his model.

Jungkook had cheekily suggested asking Jimin on a day where all three of them were sitting in the living room together. Jimin agreed before even hearing what the prompt was for the class. Taehyung knows that Yoongi had been genuinely too busy to model for him, but after that, Taehyung knew that Jungkook was just trying to force Taehyung to confess. 

Taehyung’s dealing with both of these issues- painting Jimin and not talking about his trauma- the week before midterms and he would say that the stress is starting to get to him. 

He can feel it when he snaps at Jungkook one afternoon when Jungkook barges into Taehyung’s bedroom and causes Taehyung to flinch so hard that he messes up a line that he’s painting. He’s able to fix it, and he apologizes profusely to Jungkook, but Taehyung can still feel the tension in the back of his head.

He can feel when he gets so annoyed with Yoongi and Jungkook pushing him to confess that he doesn’t show up to the LGBTQIA+ club meeting on Tuesday evening. He spends his night locked in his bedroom with his headphones in, ignoring every buzz of his phone, and instead choosing to cry into his pillow. 

He can feel it when he pushes laundry night back to Wednesday in the middle of the night and he lies to Jimin, saying that he had fallen asleep, instead of saying that he had spent his whole night staring at his ceiling and pretending that there wasn’t an itch under his skin to get up and go to the laundromat. At this point, Taehyung thinks that he might be self-sabotaging because laundry with Jimin is Taehyung’s favorite part of the week. But he’s tired . 

It’s two in the morning and Taehyung has just switched his clothes into the dryer when Jimin walks into the laundromat. He doesn’t have a laundry basket with him, just a textbook in his left hand, and he sits down in his normal seat. 

“Oh,” Taehyung says, startled. He hadn’t been expecting anyone else to come, especially not Jimin since he vividly remembers hearing Jimin leave their apartment the night before. “It’s Wednesday.” 

“It is,” Jimin agrees, nodding, and motioning for Taehyung to take a seat next to him. “Do you want to talk about why you’re doing your laundry in the middle of the night on a Wednesday instead of the middle of the night on a Tuesday?” 

Taehyung sighs. 

He’s still not ready to confess to Jimin. He’s so unsure about Jimin’s feelings that he can’t find the strength to just tell Jimin about his feelings. And since Jimin is more friendly toward Taehyung now, more tactile and cuddly and spending more time with him, Taehyung is worried that he’ll completely ruin the thing that they have going on now by telling Jimin about his feelings.

Sometimes, Taehyung wishes that he had just told Jimin about his feelings at the dance recital the previous semester. He had wanted to blurt out his feelings then, but he thought that Jimin liked another boy, so he stopped himself.

Now Taehyung regrets not revealing how deep his feelings were then. Taehyung thinks that he knows what it feels like to be loved by Jimin. And if he had told Jimin back then, Jimin might have never started treating him like this, and Taehyung thinks that it would have been a mercy to never know what it could feel like to be loved by Jimin at all. 

“I told you this morning-” 

“Please don’t lie,” Jimin says, voice sounding a little broken. Like he can’t believe that Taehyung would lie to him. Taehyung’s heart aches. Then, voice so quiet, yet so loud in the laundromat, Jimin whispers, “You can talk to me. We’re friends, right?” 

And that’s another thing about Jimin. He’s constantly referring to them as friends now. Taehyung thinks that he must have fucked up that night in January. Thinks that he had to have let his feelings slip in some way, even though he remembers trying very hard to keep them in check, for Jimin to be consistently reminding him that they’re friends .

“Yeah,” Taehyung says, wondering if Jimin is able to spot the disappointment that Taehyung is trying to hide. “Yeah, of course we’re friends.” 

Jimin hums, face looking like he knows something that Taehyung doesn’t. “Then please let’s talk about what’s been bothering you lately.” 

“I’m just really stressed with my midterm projects,” Taehyung admits. He knows that it’s why he’s been acting off with his friends, why he’s been more irritable than normal, why he’s self-sabotaging and locking himself away from the people who care about him. “They’re really hard for me. A lot harder than last year.” 

“Do you mean the one that I modeled for you? Did I do a bad job?” 

Jimin sounds so upset that Taehyung immediately begins to console him. “No,” he says, sounding rushed so that he can make sure that Jimin doesn’t feel bad. “Of course you did amazing.” 

Jimin shrugs, not looking any happier. 

“You really did great, Jimin.” 

“You never even told me what the prompt was,” Jimin pouts, pushing his lips out fully, making Taehyung’s heart weak. “All you did was make me lay on my bed while you drew sketches of me.” 

“It was trust,” Taehyung whispers. “I had to show trust in the portrait. I had to paint someone who trusts me and who I trust back. So I asked you to get into a vulnerable place, a vulnerable position, but you still looked like you were content- like you weren’t scared or confused or concerned. You looked like you trusted me, so it turned out beautifully.” 

Jimin blinks. “You trust me?” He asks, eyes wide and boring into Taehyung’s own. 

Taehyung’s traitorous brain looks at him and is reminded of how Jimin looked on the night that they were exchanging Christmas gifts. One of very few times that he thought Jimin might like him back. 

“With my life,” Taehyung whispers back. 

He leaves out the fact that he trusts Jimin with his heart. Because he does, even though Taehyung knows that he really, really shouldn’t. 

He knows that his heart is going to break, and it won’t be Jimin’s fault at all, but entirely his own.

🍯

Seokjin catches up with Taehyung after the next LGBTQIA+ club. 

Taehyung, who’d previously had much more of a spring in his step than normal, is a bit disappointed. 

Of course, he loves spending time with Seokjin. He considers Seokjin to be one of his closest friends and essentially the person Taehyung considers to be a mentor. But Taehyung had finished his final painting for midterms week, and though all of them ended up being about Jimin, Taehyung was really happy about getting all of his work completed so he wanted to celebrate by going out to dinner with Jimin. 

“You can’t say no to dinner with hyung, Taehyung-ah,” Seokjin says when Taehyung tilts his head in confusion to the invitation. “Hyung even offered to pay for you.” 

“It’s Tuesday,” Taehyung says simply. Taehyung lives his life on a schedule and Seokjin should know that by now. Tuesdays are for early morning laundry with Jimin, LGBTQIA+ club meetings, and dinner with Jimin if Taehyung is brave enough to ask for it. 

Seokjin nods. “It is.” 

“We get dinner with Yoongi-hyung on Thursday,” Taehyung says.

Seokjin snorts, seeming like he’s laughing at Taehyung. Then, rolling his eyes, he adds, “Well, this is dinner without Yoongi. We can hang out without Yoongi, you know?” 

To his left, Taehyung hears Yoongi mumble about how rude Seokjin is and then hears Jungkook burst into giggles. He looks toward them to see Jimin looking at him and Seokjin strangely.

“Okay,” Taehyung says suspiciously. 

“You don’t have to sound like it’s such a burden -” 

“You’re not breaking up with hyungs and trying to take me out on a date, are you?” Taehyung teases, mainly because Seokjin, Namjoon, and Hoseok are not actually dating yet, despite the fact that they do everything together as though they’re actually boyfriends. They go on dates together, they sleep in the same bed (according to Yoongi), and they spend pretty much all of their time texting in their sappy group chat when they’re not together. “Because, hyung, I have to be honest: You’re really not my type.”

“I am not -” Seokjin argues, ears red, while Namjoon says, “What is your type, Taehyungie?” 

Taehyung blushes, fully thrown off by the question. “My- what?” 

Namjoon shrugs. “I know everyone else’s type. But you’re so tight-lipped. Have you even had a crush on anyone since we met?” 

“You know everyone else’s type?” Taehyung asks, suspicious of that information. 

“Yeah. I mean, everyone except for you and Jimin are sort of involved with someone else from our friend group, so that’s not too hard to figure out,” Namjoon explains while Yoongi snorts from his side. “And everyone knows Jimin’s type is someone creative, loyal, taller than him. Maybe someone who lives -” 

“That’s enough,” Jimin shrieks, face red from embarrassment. “Please stop talking about my love life and actually make a move in yours .” 

“Huh,” Taehyung says, ignoring Jimin’s outburst. He feels dumb because he definitely didn’t know Jimin’s type, but Taehyung thinks that he maybe fits that bill, and he’s not entirely sure how to process that information at this moment. 

“So,” Hoseok prompts as Yoongi and Jungkook watch on uncomfortably. “Your ideal type?” 

Taehyung’s eyes flick toward Jimin. He doesn’t even mean for it to happen, doesn’t process that his eyes are looking at Jimin until he sees Jimin’s eyes staring straight at him, curiosity flooding his eyes like they’re tears. 

“Um,” Taehyung says, mind blanking. “I don’t think that I’ve ever really thought about an ideal type.” 

Hoseok rolls his eyes. “Then just describe the last person that you had a crush on.” 

“Maybe not-” Yoongi starts to say, but Taehyung thinks that it’s okay. He probably won’t give too much away if he tells his friends what he likes about Jimin. 

“My ideal type,” Taehyung says, slowly, trying his best to avoid making eye contact with anyone, but especially with Jimin. 

“My ideal type is probably someone smaller than me, even though I like to be the little spoon in bed. Um, probably someone athletic, but not jacked like Jungkookie and Namjoonie-hyung are, but more, sinewy, I guess? Like, smaller than me but definitely stronger than me because I spend all of my time sitting at an easel in the art studio,” he says, thinking about how Jimin always lets Taehyung cuddle into him, lets him be the person sleeping next to the wall because Taehyung likes to be compressed, likes to feel like he has a weighted blanket on him at all times for comfort. 

“My ideal type is probably someone creative, but not necessarily a painter like myself. I think I’ve always really liked people who are passionate and confident in themselves,” Taehyung says, thinking about Jimin coming back into the apartment late at night, tired from spending so much of his time and energy working on a new routine, or from exercising because he almost never takes a day off. But even after working himself to the bone, Jimin comes back into the apartment and takes the time to make Taehyung a cup of tea and pet his hair before he showers and climbs into bed. 

“My ideal type is someone who helps me, I guess. I feel like there are a lot of times where I get into my own head, times where I feel scared and lost and alone and I have a tendency to alienate myself in those times. Which I know isn’t the healthiest coping mechanism and I don’t want someone to fix that for me, because I know that I have to do that myself, but I want someone who is patient with me and listens to me and just tries to be there for me,” Taehyung says, thinking about how Jimin had followed him to the laundromat just to talk about what was stressing Taehyung out, being the kind person that he is without even thinking about it. 

“Yeah,” Taehyung says, looking at his shoes and filling the deafening silence in the club meeting room after his spiel, thinking of nothing but all of the time that he’s spent with Jimin. “I guess that’s my ideal type.”

When Taehyung looks up, all six of his friends are staring at him with varying degrees of concern on their faces. Namjoon looks like he sort of regrets asking the question, Hoseok is kind of smirking, and Taehyung thinks that Jimin might have actual tears pooling in the corners of his eyes. 

“Well,” Jungkook says, clearly trying to break the awkward air around all of them. “I guess we’ll let you know when we find someone like that.” 

“Yeah,” Taehyung whispers as Seokjin grabs onto his wrist, quite literally dragging him to dinner. “Yeah, okay, thanks.” 

Taehyung’s too scared to see what might be happening on Jimin’s face, so for fear of turning to salt, he doesn’t turn around. 

🍯

“We really need to talk,” Seokjin says once they’ve gotten into the ramyeon bar and Seokjin has shouted out their usual orders, as well as for two bottles of peach soju. “Because I think that you need to open up about a lot of feelings going on inside that pretty little brain of yours.” 

“Aw,” Taehyung teases. “Hyung thinks that I’m pretty.”

Seokjin narrows his eyes. “You and Jungkook should have never become best friends. Two of you acting this bratty should not be possible.” 

“Yoongi-hyung says that Hoseokie-hyung and Jiminie are the bratty ones,” Taehyung counters, thanking the waitress for the bowl of ramyeon she sets in front of him. 

Seokjin rolls his eyes. “He’s biased toward you and Jungkook for some reason.” 

Taehyung looks around the restaurant, not meeting Seokjin’s eyes. He’s been in here so many times with Seokjin and Yoongi - it’s their favorite place to eat when they go for Thursday dinner - so there’s nothing new about the place, but Taehyung is not feeling up to expressing more of his emotions than he’s already shown today by spelling out all of the reasons that he’s in love with Jimin, so he’s really just trying to avoid making conversation. 

“Tae,” Seokjin says, voice calm and quiet. “We should talk.” 

“So, Yoongi-hyung told you?” Taehyung asks, feeling betrayed. 

Seokjin shakes his head. “Not really. He told me that he was concerned for you. Concerned about your sense of self-worth. And he also told me that you promised to talk to me instead of one of our school counselors,” he explains. “I’ve been waiting for you to come to me.” 

“School has been busy,” Taehyung says, whining a bit. He doesn’t like that they had talked about him behind his back like this, even though he knows that it was with his best interest at heart. “I wasn’t, like, actively avoiding talking about it with you.” 

“That’s okay,” Seokjin soothes, sounding understanding. Taehyung feels bad because he knows that he could have forged time to spend with Seokjin. “But we have some time right now, don’t we?” 

“I guess,” Taehyung says, feeling awkward. Maybe scared is a better word than awkward. “I’m- Hyung, I haven’t really talked about this before. It’s hard.” 

“That’s okay,” Seokjin says. “We can go slowly. And it doesn’t have to be all at once. We can talk at whatever pace you want to set, okay?” 

Taehyung takes a deep breath and begins to explain everything that he’s felt in the last seven or so years that he’s never talked about out loud. Taehyung explains how in elementary school he was friends with a girl and everyone, including their parents, cooed at them and called them boyfriend and girlfriend and called their playdates just dates. Taehyung explains how he remembers being confused because he didn’t know why everyone talked about them like that or what a boyfriend or girlfriend was or why no one talked about him and Minsoo that same way. He explains how he was confused about why his friend stopped wanting to play with him at recess because her friends had teased her about having a boyfriend. 

Taehyung explains how in middle school his friends started getting crushes on different girls. Taehyung himself had been asked out on dates by a few girls, but he always said no because he really didn’t have a crush on any of them back. One day, the girl who all of his friends called the hottest girl in their class asked Taehyung if he liked her, and Taehyung had truthfully responded that he didn’t. One of his friends chuckled as the girl walked away and asked Taehyung if he was gay. Everyone at the lunch table had laughed and Taehyung didn’t know why , but he thought that being gay couldn’t be a good thing if everyone laughed like that. 

Taehyung explains how in high school he realized that he was gay when he went and saw Deadpool in theater and finally found himself attracted to someone when he realized that he thought that Ryan Reynolds was hot. He had debated on talking about his feelings, but his best friend was in the art club with him and was constantly talking about how he wished that Taehyung would put more feeling into the paintings that he made, because Taehyung was skilled technically but his art lacked life . So the internal debate didn’t last long and Taehyung told Minsoo and was immediately shunned by everyone in his life. 

He explains how, after months of keeping it secret from his family, his mom picked him up in the middle of the school day so that they could talk about a rumor that she’d heard from one of his classmate’s parents. How, when Taehyung cried and told his mother and father that it was true, that he was gay, he didn’t hear a word out of either of his parent’s mouths for almost a month. 

Taehyung explains how, even though his dad is trying, it’s really, really hard to forget how alone and depressed he had felt in the first few weeks after coming out to his parents. It’s hard to forget the thoughts that he had when laying in bed alone at night. The idea that he should leave, run away to somewhere else if his parents couldn’t love him any longer. It’s hard to forget the stony look on his father’s face when Taehyung had said the words “I’m gay,” out loud, so disappointed in the son that he was supposed to love. 

Taehyung explains how, even after his dad finally started making small talk with him once again, his mother wouldn’t even look his way. How he had started spending all of his time in PC cafes, or the school’s art studio, so that he didn’t have to pretend to not be disappointed when he’d get home to see that his mother hadn’t made dinner for him. How he’d stayed out of the house long past the curfew that had been set for him when he had entered high school, or intentionally brought home a bottle of soju, hoping that she would at least yell at him, do anything to show that she maybe cared about her only son in some way at all. 

When Taehyung is done explaining, he is nothing more than a lump of tears, crumpled in Seokjin’s lap, unable to stop the ugly sobs ripping through his throat no matter how hard he tries. 

“I’ll call Yoongi and Kook, okay?” Seokjin asks, petting Taehyung’s hair and holding him close. “I think that they’re at my place right now, so I can make sure that they get Yoongi’s room all cleaned up so you can lie down with them, okay?” 

Taehyung shakes his head, still crying. 

“You don’t want them?” Seokjin asks, handing his entire wallet to the waitress, who is looking very concerned at the sobbing boy in her booth. “Well, I can’t leave you alone. I can take you to my bed, if that’s what you want?” 

“No,” Taehyung says, his heart wanting nothing more than to see Jimin. To snuggle close to him and feel the comfort that rolls off of his friend in waves. “Want Jimin.” 

🍯

Taehyung doesn't quite remember all of the hassle that it took to get him out of the ramyeon restaurant and back into his own apartment, but Taehyung is fairly certain that he doesn’t stop crying until he’s lying safely in Jimin’s bed. 

When Taehyung finally loses the fuzzy feeling in his brain, when he’s finally able to start recognizing his surroundings, he feels hands in his hair, gently twisting the strands and petting his hair. There are comforting noises that Taehyung can’t entirely make out, but Taehyung can tell that it’s Jimin above him, and he feels much more calm. 

“Jimin?” Taehyung asks, knowing that the person above him is Jimin, but still wanting confirmation. “Jiminie?” 

“Hey, Tae,” Jimin says, hand briefly stopping. Taehyung shakes his head a bit to ask Jimin to keep going, to continue to play with his hair because it feels nice and grounding. Jimin laughs, and he doesn’t sound angry or concerned, but sounds fond, fond, fond and Taehyung feels his heart sing. “How are you feeling?” 

Taehyung groans. He isn’t exactly sure how he’s feeling. 

“I’m mostly just really tired,” he admits, closing his eyes because they kind of burn when he keeps them open. “And my head kind of hurts. I think that I cried out all of the water that I’ve drank the whole year so far.” 

Jimin chuckles, hand now moving in circles in Taehyung’s hair, with a little bit more pressure. Almost like Jimin is giving him a head massage to help with the headache. Taehyung wants to cry again. 

“I can see if Jungkookie or Yoongi-hyung will bring you some water,” Jimin offers. “I’m sure that they’d really like to see you as well. They were really worried when Jin-hyung called them.” 

Taehyung frowns. “Weren’t they having date night tonight? I don’t want to interrupt them.” 

“They were,” Jimin hums. “But you should know that they would drop anything to make sure that you’re okay. Were you concerned about interrupting them? That’s why you didn’t ask for them?” 

“No,” Taehyung says, quickly shakes his head and instantly regrets it because it makes his head hurt even more. “I didn’t even think of them. Hyung offered to call them, but- but I just wanted to see you.” 

Jimin’s hand stills for a second and Taehyung minutely wiggles his head once again until Jimin’s hand returns to continue its ministrations. 

“Oh,” he says, voice quiet. “Okay.” 

Taehyung is curious what Jimin looks like right now, but his eyes really burn too much to open, so he just does his best to imagine what Jimin might look like right now. 

He thinks that Jimin probably is a little bit pink, cheeks looking the same way that they do when he’s had too much to drink. He might look a little shy, the way that he looked when Taehyung had so highly praised his dancing after the dance recital all of those months ago. He definitely looks pretty, the way that he always looks when he’s lounging around at home. Entirely effortless, yet still the most striking person that Taehyung has ever seen in his life. 

“I’m glad,” Jimin says, after what feels like an eternity of silence. Taehyung thinks that he’s on the verge of falling asleep once again, and wonders if he’s only imagining Jimin talking to him right now. “I’m not happy that you’re feeling sad. I hate that you cried for so long that you have a headache. But I’m really happy that I can bring you comfort- that you thought of me when you wanted to feel better. I’m happy that you trust me enough to see you so vulnerable.” 

“Like the painting,” Taehyung says, still not entirely sure that there’s a conversation happening. He feels like he’s in a dream, his mind is hazy and fuzzy once again and Taehyung thinks that he should have accepted Jimin’s offer of getting Yoongi or Jungkook to deliver him a glass of water.

“Yeah,” Jimin whispers. “Just- thank you. I’m glad that you feel happier with me.” 

Taehyung hums. His eyes are way too heavy to open to check if Jimin is even awake any longer, but he doesn’t want to let the moment pass by. If he’s in reality or a dream, Taehyung doesn’t care. He just wants to tell Jimin exactly how he feels. 

“Always feel best with you,” Taehyung mumbles. “You make me happier than anyone else in the world.” 

Jimin hums, but he sounds shakier than Taehyung thinks he’s ever heard Jimin’s voice before. His hand is still running through Taehyung’s hair, never stopping, not when Jimin knows that it’s Taehyung’s favorite form of comfort.

“You’re, like, a spoon, you know,” Taehyung says, too sleepy to really process. 

“What?” Jimin asks, laughter filling his voice. It’s still tiny and reserved, but Taehyung likes to hear the happiness creeping in. 

“Like the painting,” Taehyung insists. 

Jimin is quiet for just a moment before saying, “I don’t know what painting you’re talking about, Tae.” 

Taehyung hums, feeling sleep taking over more fully. Recalling a song that he really loves, Taehyung says, “I’m the bluebird and you’re the spoon. Wanna dip you in honey so that I can stick to you. I’ll fly to you and stick to you forever.” 

Exhaustion finally takes over Taehyung’s body, so he doesn’t hear Jimin’s own confession. Doesn’t hear Jimin whisper to the room, “I’d be your spoon for the rest of your life, Tae.” 

🍯

Jiminie > Me
[9:26 AM]
Hello, my little bluebird
Are you feeling better this morning?

Me > Jiminie
[9:27 AM]
mhm
you weren’t here when i woke up
i’m sorry for taking over your bed last night
didn’t even ask permission to sleep in here

Jiminie > Me
[9:27 AM]
You don’t ever need permission
Sleep there anytime, for real
All the time
I have an early class on Wednesdays, remember?
That’s the only reason why I wasn’t there for you when you woke up. 

Me > Jiminie
[9:29 AM]
oh
i don’t think i’ll go to class today
i haven’t missed any this semester
and i don’t feel very good
my head hurts

Jiminie > Me
[9:30 AM]
I put water and aspirin on the nightstand
Drink up!
Just make sure to email your professors, okay?
You’re a really good student
I don’t remember you ever missing class before
They’ll be understanding if you need a day off

Me > Jiminie
[9:32 AM]
thank you
you’re the best
and
thank you for being there for me last night
i know it was out of nowhere
and you probably weren’t expecting to have to spend the night
taking care of me
i’m really thankful for you
i love having you in my life

Jiminie > Me
[9:34 AM]
I’ll always take care of you, bird
Whether you ask me to or not
Okay?
I told you before
Sometimes you know when you’re meant to care about someone
I’m meant to care for you
I love having you in my life, too
I’ll be home around 12:30
My last class ends at 12:15
You’re welcome to stay in my bed until then
I can get you something to make you feel better
Gatorade or coffee or tea or your favorite dessert
Whatever you want

Me > Jiminie
[9:36 AM]
just you being here is more than enough

🍯

The spring art showcase takes place at the end of May. It is one month after their midterms, so that all of the projects from the winter semester and from the first half of this semester have had enough time to be chosen and prepared to be showcased. 

All four of Taehyung’s paintings from his midterms are selected, which also means that Taehyung has not submitted a single painting created from his feelings of love for Jimin that hasn’t been deemed good enough to be showcased in the spring art show, since he has five total now. 

“Hyung,” Jungkook exclaims when Taehyung tells him and Jimin about it over cup noodles in their apartment one Monday night. They try to eat together at the dining table at least twice per week, even though it’s usually after eleven at night and Jungkook constantly has his laundry folded on it - Jungkook doesn’t do his laundry in the middle of the night like Taehyung and Jimin do, so Jungkook always thinks that the laundromat is too crowded to fold his laundry in, so he leaves the second that his clothes are cleaned and folds it at home. Taehyung doesn’t know why he chooses to fold it at the dining table instead of his room, though.Taehyung also isn’t convinced that Yoongi and Jungkook haven’t had sex on the table yet. 

“That’s so incredible! You must be the best painter in your class because that’s so many! And they’re all different styles, too, right?” 

“Definitely not the best,” Taehyung says, blushing slightly. “There’s so many other talented people that I’m working with in classes who have way more to offer than I do.” 

Jungkook’s phone buzzes on the table and Jungkook’s smile grows into a cheeky one. “Yoongi-hyung says that he heard from his same-aged friends in the art department that you’re the only sophomore who got more than two pieces of art selected for the showcase. Said that you’re the only one who has something from when you were a freshman, too.” 

“How did you manage to text him so quickly about that?” Taehyung asks, narrowing his eyes at Jungkook. “ And how does he know about that?” 

Jungkook shrugs, focusing on his text message conversation with Yoongi instead of paying attention to Taehyung any longer. Taehyung thinks that Jungkook is lucky that Taehyung doesn’t get jealous in the same way that Jungkook does. 

“Oh,” Jimin says, sounding absolutely delighted about Taehyung’s announcement. “Does that mean that my painting is going to be put up there? Out in the world for everyone to see?”

Taehyung wants to say that all of his paintings belong to Jimin, but he figures that Jimin is talking about the portrait- the one about trust- and nods his head. 

His portraits professor had actually been so enthusiastic about that painting. It’s some of the best feedback that Taehyung has ever received in his work. She’d even asked Taehyung if Jimin was his boyfriend. When Taehyung declined, she said that it was incredible just how much trust she could feel between the two of them through the painting, that it was easily her favorite from the entire class, and that she would ask again at the end of the semester and that she really hopes that Taehyung will be able to say, “Yes, Park Jimin is my boyfriend” by the time that she asks again. 

It had felt a little too invasive, if Taehyung is being honest, but he also knows that ever since Minsoo told him that there wasn’t enough life in his art, he’s been the kind of person who puts way too much of his heart into every painting that he does. So he probably shouldn’t be too surprised whenever people can read his feelings like he has them tattooed on his forehead. 

“It will be,” Taehyung tells Jimin now. “My professor really loved that painting.” 

“And I’m sure that I will love it, too,” Jimin exclaims. “I’ll have to get myself all prettied up to make sure that I look even half as good as you would have painted me to look. Have to live up to whatever standard you’re putting out there for me.” 

Taehyung doesn’t think that it’s possible to make Jimin look better than he does in person, but he’s quite literally in love with Jimin, so he thinks that maybe he’s biased in that area, so he doesn’t say it out loud. 

“Wait,” Taehyung says, suddenly panicked. If every last one of his teachers can feel his love for Jimin through his paintings, there’s no way that his friends and Jimin himself won’t be able to tell. “You guys can’t come to the showcase.” 

Jimin raises an eyebrow and Taehyung is pretty sure that Jungkook actually drops his chopsticks at the news, if the clanging to his left is anything to go by. 

“And why is that?” Jimin asks, eyes narrowed at Taehyung. 

Taehyung blushes, suddenly feeling shy. How does he tell Jimin that he can’t come because he’s going to take one look at the paintings and know that Taehyung is in love with him? Taehyung thinks that Jimin might already have an inkling of Taehyung’s feelings for him, what with the constant reminder of being friends , but that doesn’t mean that he wants Jimin to know for sure in front of the entire art department. 

“Well,” Taehyung says, clearing his throat. “It’s all really personal.” 

“Art is supposed to be personal, Taehyungie-hyung,” Jungkook says from where he’s bent underneath the table, trying to grab one of his chopsticks. One is on the table, so he seems to have retrieved that one already. 

“Of course it is-” Taehyung starts, but Jungkook cuts him off. 

“Your five pieces wouldn’t have been chosen if you hadn’t made them personal,” he then points out, voice muffled because he’s struggling to grab that chopstick. 

“It’s true,” Jimin adds.

Taehyung tilts his head. 

“Art is supposed to be personal. I remember that piece that you made last fall. It made me feel like crying and I didn’t even know what the prompt was yet.” He pauses for a moment, head turning upward in a thoughtful manner, then says, “Felt like crying even more once I found out what it was.” 

“Please,” Taehyung says, unsure that his heart can handle any more praise from Jimin. Then, trying to turn the conversation away from himself, Taehyung counters, “It’s not that great. Nothing like the way that you dance.” 

“Ugh gross,” Jungkook says, using the pair of chopsticks that he dropped underneath their table to eat the last bite of his cup noodles. “Don’t flirt in front of me. That’s so disrespectful.” 

“We weren’t-” Taehyung starts to say, but Jimin cuts him off, eyes narrowed at Jungkook. 

“I saw Yoongi-hyung’s dick last week, so no one is allowed to talk to me about what behavior counts as disrespectful in this apartment.” 

Jungkook scoffs. “You’re lucky to have seen it! Yoongi-hyung’s dick is god’s gift to me specifically -” 

“Oh my god.” 

“- and Taehyungie-hyung hasn’t gotten to see it!”

Taehyung laughs. “And I’m lucky for that. I’m definitely not interested in seeing any part of either of you. You already tell me way too much about your sex lives. I don’t need to see any of it.” 

Jungkook sighs and picks up his phone, calling Yoongi to tell him how awful Taehyung and Jimin are while they laugh together, leaning in toward one another, causing Jungkook to groan and leave the table entirely. 

“Yoongi-hyung,” Jungkook pouts into the phone, stalking off toward his door. When he opens it, Taehyung thinks that he sees the painting that he made for Yoongi and Jungkook hanging above Jungkook’s bed, which is weird because it had definitely been in Yoongi’s room when Taehyung visited the day prior. “When can we move in together so that I don’t have to deal with these two anymore?” 

As Jungkook dramatically slams his door shut, Jimin, still laughing, asks, “What time is it, bird?” 

Taehyung pats his own pockets, searching for his phone before realizing that it’s on the table in front of him. 

“Just after midnight,” Taehyung answers, looking at his lockscreen, a picture taken of him and Jimin the week that Taehyung had his small mental breakdown. He’d stuck close to Jimin’s side for the entire week, even through the teasing from their friends, because Jimin made him feel better and didn’t seem to mind Taehyung being practically glued to his side during all of their free time. 

Jimin smiles. “Perfect. Should we go do laundry?” 

Taehyung nods, excitement bubbling up in his chest, happy to just spend any amount of time with Jimin. 

Once they’ve gathered all of their dirty clothes and detergents, Taehyung and Jimin leave the apartment together, both with textbooks to finish homework while their laundry cleans. 

“So,” Jimin says while they’re emptying their baskets into the washing machines. Jungkook would be disappointed in them, Taehyung knows, because Jungkook lets his laundry pile up for weeks so that he can do separate loads for towels and jeans and lights and darks, while Taehyung and Jimin just dump everything into one load. “You never did let me see that painting. Will you really not let me see it until the showcase this weekend?” 

Taehyung shrugs. “It wasn’t on purpose that I didn’t show you,” he lies. 

It absolutely was on purpose that Taehyung didn’t show Jimin that painting. He knows that all of his love for Jimin is present in the art that he makes, but at least with the abstract pieces, and even the surrealism pieces that aren’t of Jimin, Taehyung can be vague and lie and pretend that they’re about something else. However, with the portrait, Taehyung has nowhere to hide. 

He almost wishes that it hadn’t been chosen so that he could have stuck it in the back of his closet with all of the other paintings of Jimin. Maybe, Taehyung thinks, he should just sneak out in the middle of the night and get rid of them all. Then Jimin won’t ever be able to see any of them. 

“I was just too busy at the time. I had a hardcore mental breakdown the week that I turned it in, you know.” 

“I know,” Jimin whispers, sounding vulnerable. He reaches a hand out to pet Taehyung’s hair, just a gentle reminder that he’s there if Taehyung wants to talk. Then he adds, “But I think I would still really like to see it before the showcase.” 

Taehyung weighs his options. He could tell Jimin no, could tell him that it should be this weekend. There are plenty of reasons that Taehyung can make that work. For one, it’s after midnight and the buses in their neighborhood only run about once an hour at this time. Taehyung learned this the hard way after staying way too late in the art studio on campus and had to wait almost forty minutes to catch a bus back to his apartment. Another thing is that it’s still almost a fifteen minute bus ride to campus, and by the time they get back, they’ll be really fucking late to switch their laundry. 

The third reason is that Taehyung is fucking terrified. 

Jimin looks at him, watching Taehyung process. When Taehyung is debating something, or trying to find the right words to say, Jimin never pushes him. Just watches on with gentle eyes. And for that, Taehyung is thankful. It always makes him feel like Jimin cares for him, like he wants Taehyung to be allowed to have the space to be deliberate in what he says. 

Taehyung briefly wonders if Jimin already knows that he would probably feel more comfortable showing Jimin the portrait in private before letting everyone see it at the showcase. 

“Well,” Taehyung says, pulling out his phone to check his transit app. “The next bus will come in six minutes. Do you think we have time tonight?” 

Jimin’s answering smile is so bright that it’s blinding. 

🍯

“Been here before,” Jimin says, grabbing onto Taehyung’s hand as they enter the art building where the studios are. “Studio three?” He asks, as though he’s been coming to the art studios with Taehyung all of the time since that night in November. Taehyung wonders how- or maybe, the question should be why- he remembers which studio Taehyung’s artwork had been in the last time that they had been here together. 

Taehyung nods, throat suddenly dry. He really wishes that he had brought some water with him.

“Yeah,” he says, delayed, eyes traveling to their interlocked hands. When he looks at Jimin, who hasn’t moved since they stepped into the building, Jimin’s eyes are focused on Taehyung, a small smile on his face. 

“Perfect,” Jimin whispers, something delightful gleaming in his eyes. “Let’s go.” 

Just like the first time, Jimin practically drags Taehyung to the studio. The automatic overhead lights come on as they enter the room and Jimin looks around eagerly, likely trying to remember which workstation Taehyung had been set up at in the fall. 

“On the bottom row,” Taehyung says, using their interlocked hands to point toward the bottom left of the room, and waiting for Jimin to take the lead. “All five of mine are set out over there.” 

Taking a deep breath, Jimin pulls Taehyung forward, directly to the window that Taehyung likes to sit at. His heart fills with pride at the fact that Jimin so clearly remembers their trip here last time. Taehyung doesn’t want to read into it, but he wonders if that trip means something to Jimin in the same way that it means something to him. 

“This is okay?” Jimin asks just before they reach his self-claimed set of easels. “You’re really okay with me seeing this now? Because I don’t want you to feel pressured or feel like you have to show me just because I asked you to show me. Because it should be entirely up to you when you show your art to anyone and you don’t have to want to show me -” 

“Jimin,” Taehyung cuts him off, fondness seeping out of his voice for the beautiful boy in front of him. “I want to show you them.” 

Jimin smiles, something nervous in his expression that Taehyung can’t quite understand the why of. He chooses to ignore it for now. Figures that Jimin will talk about it with him if he wants. They’re friends, after all, right? 

He shows Jimin the two abstract works first. One with the topic of love and one that actually was supposed to show the emotion of being overwhelmed. It ended up being about his love for Jimin because that’s definitely something that overwhelms Taehyung. He feels the emotions building up whenever Jimin is around him, feels it taking over his body in such a visceral way that he can’t help but feel entirely unprepared to have so many feelings for one person inside of him. Taehyung doesn’t explain what they’re about to Jimin, instead just letting him look at them for a moment. 

“Do you like doing abstract pieces?” Jimin asks, instead of asking what they’re about. 

Taehyung thinks his heart might stop because he’s dying to know if Jimin can tell. Needs to know if Jimin can see the love pouring out of his paintbrush. Needs to know if Jimin knows that it’s all for him and him alone. 

“You’ve always talked about portraits being your favorite,” Jimin comments, seeming to not notice that he’s sending Taehyung fishing in the deepest parts of his brain for when he would have talked about that. He thinks that it must have been a passing comment. He wonders why Jimin remembers everything about him as if every little detail about him matters. “But you have two abstract pieces in the showcase.” 

“It’s growing on me,” Taehyung admits. “When I was younger, my art teacher - well, actually both the teacher I took classes with at the rec center and the one that I had as a teacher in school - told me that all of my best pieces always came from my stronger emotions.” 

Jimin’s head tilts and he’s looking at Taehyung like what Taehyung’s saying is the most important thing in the world to him at this moment and Taehyung feels his heart flip inside his chest.

“Abstract is all about making you feel what I was feeling when I painted it- or, at least, that’s the goal, so I think it tends to be some of my stronger work even though I always liked painting portraits more.” 

Jimin hums, making a motion that suggests Taehyung should pull out the next piece that he wants to show Jimin. Taehyung chooses the portrait. He knows that it gives away everything that he’s feeling, but it’s still somehow safer than the final set of paintings, which are a pair that have to be showcased together. 

“Tae,” Jimin says, tears building in the corners of his eyes the second that he gets a look at the portrait of himself. “Holy fuck, Taehyung.” 

“Yeah,” Taehyung whispers. “You look this pretty in person, too, just so you know.” 

Jimin’s head whips toward him, turning so quickly that Taehyung is kind of worried about Jimin getting whiplash. 

“So you don’t have to worry about dressing up or anything,” Taehyung stutters, trying to explain himself. “I mean, you always look pretty, literally no matter what you’re wearing or what you’re doing. So, I mean, dress up if you want -” 

Jimin’s light and pretty laugh cuts Taehyung off from his ramblings and he’s glad for it. 

“Tae,” he says, looking pleased. Then he moves to grab hold of Taehyung’s hand once again, tangling their fingers together and Taehyung thinks that his face must be bright red by this point.  “You made me look beautiful. This is, like, my second favorite painting ever.” 

“What’s your favorite?” Taehyung asks, trying to recall Jimin ever talking about artists that he likes. Namjoon and Taehyung talk about art often when they’re all gathered together, but Taehyung doesn’t remember Jimin ever joining in on the conversation about what art pieces and styles and artists they like the most. Even Jungkook has painted with Taehyung and talked about his favorite artists. But never Jimin. 

Jimin laughs again.

“Jimin, I’m serious,” Taehyung pouts. Then he admits, “Now I’m curious who your favorite artist is.” 

“Well, that’s an easy one to answer,” Jimin says, eyes not meeting Taehyung’s own, a nervous chuckle coming out of his throat. Taehyung loves every laugh of Jimin’s, likes how it usually lightens up the air around them, how his laugh usually calms Taehyung’s nerves down. But this one sounds nervous and the air surrounding them feels thicker than it ever has before. “ You’re my favorite artist. You have my two favorite pieces under your name.” 

Taehyung cocks his head to the side. “Your favorite one?” 

Jimin nods with a small, shy smile on his face. “The one you made me for Christmas,” he says, flicking the hand that’s not holding Taehyung’s around like it’s no big deal. “That’s my favorite one. I like it more than this portrait because you made it for me and because you wanted to do it and because it wasn’t for a class.” 

Taehyung stares at Jimin, eyes wide. Why is he talking so fast? Is he nervous? He seems nervous. Why does he seem so nervous? 

“It’s the first painting you made of me,” Jimin continues and Taehyung almost tells him that that’s a lie. Almost tells Jimin that he painted a portrait the first night that they went to dinner together, just a week after they first met in the hallway of their dorm. But Taehyung is still terrified so he stays quiet. “It was the first painting that you gave to me, so I think that it will always be my favorite painting. No matter how many others I see for the rest of my life.” 

“Oh,” Taehyung says. Then, rather dumbly, he adds, “I got the photo reference from a girl who was covering the dance showcase for the school paper and I had to convince her that I am very gay because she wanted to go on a date.” 

Jimin laughs, loud and unashamed and nothing like his shy giggle from before. “I’m not surprised. We weren’t kidding that day that we told you quite literally half of the people on our campus have a crush on you. Can’t tell you how many people have come up to Jungkookie while we’re out asking about you. Wanting to know if you’re single or taken.” 

“Really?” Taehyung asks. Jungkook’s never once mentioned something like that happening. “What does he tell them?” 

Jimin waves his hand again, something dismissive. “That you’re technically single, but your heart yearns too strongly for another to even consider being with someone else.” 

“Sounds exactly like something that he would say,” Taehyung snorts, grabbing the portrait of Jimin and moving it back toward the racks where all of his works for the showcase are being kept for safety purposes. “He’s always so dramatic, isn’t he?” 

When Jimin doesn't respond for a moment, and doesn't seize the opportunity to tease Jungkook, Taehyung turns around, feeling worried about him. Jimin is staring directly at him, something calculating in his gaze.

“What?” Taehyung asks, suddenly feeling nervous again. 

“He’s not wrong, though,” Jimin says, watching Taehyung carefully. “Right?” 

“What?” 

“You’re really, really in love with someone, right?” Jimin asks, eyes finally flicking away from Taehyung. Taehyung waits for Jimin’s eyes to meet his once again, but Jimin seems to be resolutely staring away from Taehyung now. 

“Jimin-” 

“I could feel it the first night that we came here, you know? I could feel the longing in the painting that you made. Though now I wonder if it was just my own heart, then. I wonder if maybe I was projecting my own feelings through what you were painting. And then you told me what it was about and I knew that you had to be feeling those- that sense of longing. You must have been feeling it so strongly. Just like me.” 

Taehyung is stunned. He’s known about Jimin’s feelings for someone this whole time, of course, but Jimin’s never said this much about just how much he loves this guy. “Jimin-” 

“And even these two,” Jimin continues, pointing at the rack where Taehyung had just returned the Jimin portrait to. “Even those two- I can feel how much you feel for him, you know? It’s hard not to. You didn’t even have to tell me, and I didn’t even need to know what the prompt was to know that those paintings are about him.” 

Taehyung doesn't know what to say. He isn’t sure where to go from here. He doesn’t know for sure if Jimin likes him. 

They’re closer than ever. They spend all of their free-time together. They cuddle on the couch and Jimin makes him tea when he’s feeling stressed out and Taehyung massages Jimin’s calves when they hurt too much from dance practice and they sleep pressed against one another in bed and Taehyung thinks that maybe, just maybe Jimin does love him, too. 

Taehyung doesn’t want Jimin to love him and think, for even a single second, that Taehyung doesn’t love him back.

He has to tell Jimin. 

“Jimin,” Taehyung says for a third time, trying to hold back tears. He’s so fucking scared in this moment, but he knows that he would much rather confess to Jimin and be rejected than possibly hurt Jimin by letting him think that he doesn’t reciprocate his feelings. Taehyung feels that hope in his chest blazing more like a wildfire than the small flicker of hope that had been present before and it’s enough for him to confess. 

“I think that you should see the last two paintings,” he confesses, feeling like he’s choking on his words. 

Jimin raises an eyebrow, though it’s much less sassy than normal since Jimin kind of looks like he wants to cry as much as Taehyung feels like he wants to cry. 

“I’m not sure that I should,” Jimin whispers, sadness lacing his voice and Taehyung really can’t stand to see him look sad any longer. 

Now that he’s finally decided to confess, show his paintings to Jimin, Taehyung isn’t sure that he can keep his feelings inside for another second, so he insists that Jimin needs to see them.

He grabs the paintings from the rack, moving so quickly and clumsily that he probably looks a tiny bit crazy. 

This pair of paintings, while undoubtedly one of the more technically difficult pieces that Taehyung has ever attempted to create, is undoubtedly his favorite set of paintings that he’s ever made. 

He sets them on the easels, watching Jimin’s face the entire time. Taehyung thinks that if Jimin could feel how strongly Taehyung was feeling when he created the abstract pieces, there’s no way that Jimin is going to miss the meaning behind this set of paintings. 

“Tae,” Jimin says, voice so quiet that if Taehyung hadn’t been watching his face, he wouldn’t have seen Jimin’s mouth move and would question if Jimin had said anything at all. 

“You painted this,” he says, voice sounding accusatory as he finally makes eye contact with Taehyung. “When did you paint this?” 

“The end of March,” Taehyung answers, still trying to figure out if Jimin knows . And if he does know, how this information of Taehyung’s undying love for him makes him feel. “It was the first project that I finished for my midterms.” 

Jimin turns back toward the paintings, expression still deliberately blank. His eyes rake over the paintings and Taehyung wonders what he sees. Wonders if he remembers the conversation from that night in Jimin’s room while Taehyung was falling asleep. Wonders if Jimin started calling him ‘bird’ as a nickname because he knows . 

The first painting is a honey pot sitting on a picnic table. Compositionally, it’s fairly simple, but it’s so realistic that Taehyung half expects to smell honey when he’s looking at it. A hand holds a spoon just above the pot, honey dripping off the spoon as though it’s just been dipped into the golden honey inside. 

The second painting, when paired with the first, creates a larger scene. The picnic table is extended, but in the very corner, a single bluebird is about to land on the spoon, ready to get stuck to a spoonful of honey. 

“You called me a spoon,” Jimin says, turning to Taehyung, tears rolling down his cheeks. Taehyung thinks that Jimin is still impossibly pretty even when he cries. Then, more insistently, Jimin says, “You said that I was a spoon and you wanted to dip me in honey. You said that you were a bluebird.” 

Taehyung nods. 

Jimin stares at him. 

“Do you get it?” Taehyung asks, feeling desperate. “Please tell me that you do.” 

“You-” Jimin stutters. Then he laughs, something wet and loud and disbelieving. “You painted all of this for me?” 

Taehyung nods again, feeling much more nervous than he had felt moments ago. His feelings are all laid bare. Jimin understands them. Taehyung is terrified.

“You painted these all for me,” Jimin repeats, sounding like he can’t quite believe it. “You’re in love with me.” 

Taehyung gulps, unsure if Jimin is processing this information in a positive or a negative way. “Um,” he says, kind of feeling like crying himself. “Is that okay?” 

Jimin laughs, though it sounds much more like a choked sob than a laugh. “Is that okay?” He asks, laughing once again. “God, Taehyung. I am so in love with you, it’s insane.” 

Taehyung’s mind blanks. “What?” 

“All of this time,” Jimin says. “I couldn’t get a read on you, you know? I’ve been waiting for something to happen that would let me know if you were interested in me.” 

“Everyone knows,” Taehyung says, feeling miffed. How many times had Seokjin, Yoongi, and Jungkook teased him about how obvious his crush on Jimin was? “Jimin- everyone knows.”

Jimin shakes his head. “Hoseokie-hyung and Namjoonie-hyung had no idea,” he insists. “ I had no idea. Sometimes, I thought that you might like me, like the night that you gave me that painting for Christmas. I was so close to telling you that I was in love with you but fucking Jungkook interrupted us. And then, you basically said that I should confess to whoever I was crushing on, and I know that you didn’t think it was you, so you were saying that you wanted me to confess to someone else-” 

“I said that I wanted you to do whatever made you happy,” Taehyung points out, thinking that the difference is very important. “And I truly did want you to do whatever made you happiest. I love you that much. I always wished that it would be me that made you happy, but I was prepared to live the rest of my life pining from afar if I wasn’t what you wanted.” 

Jimin bursts into laughter again, still staring at the paintings as though he can’t believe what he’s looking at. “Your whole life?” 

Taehyung nods. 

“I’m serious,” Taehyung says, finally moving toward Jimin, the desire to touch him higher than it’s ever been. Then, shyly, he admits, “I thought I fucked up the night of our housewarming party, you know? I thought that you knew because you kept strongly suggesting that we were just friends. I swear, Jimin-ah, if I had a thousand won for every time you said the word ‘friends’ to me, I’d be rich as fuck.” 

“I was looking for any sort of reaction from you,” Jimin defends, meeting Taehyung halfway, grabbing onto Taehyung’s hand like his life depends on it. “I know that you think that you wear your heart on your sleeve, but your face is always so impassive. It’s really, really hard to tell what you’re thinking sometimes.” 

“Wait,” Taehyung says, recalling everything that Jimin has ever said to him about his crush. “The night at the Halloween party-” 

“When I told you that I have only ever felt it once? The whole ‘destined to be with someone’ thing?” Taehyung nods. “Yeah, I was talking about you. You gave me absolutely nothing, though, so I thought that you weren’t interested in me.” 

“I remember feeling like my heart was cracking open that night,” Taehyung admits. “I thought that you liked someone else, but I didn’t know who, so I didn’t want you to know that I was halfway in love with you by that point.” 

Jimin smiles, hands moving from Taehyung’s own to rest on Taehyung’s hips. “You had some catching up to do, then,” Jimin says. “I fell in love with you the second that you ran me over in the hallway.” 

Tears that have been building in the corners of Taehyung’s eyes finally start to fall. “I painted you the night that we got dinner for the first time. And, besides that, I probably have half a dozen portraits of you in my closet. And then, at your dance recital, I knew that I wouldn’t ever feel this way for another person in my life ever again.” 

“Good,” Jimin says, pulling Taehyung closer to him so that they’re standing flush against one another. Since Taehyung is a step below Jimin, they’re about the same height right now and Taehyung likes that he can look directly into Jimin’s eyes. “I don’t want you to feel like this for anyone else. Only want you to feel like this for me, okay? I know that it’s selfish to want you all to myself for the rest of my life, but I believe in soulmates, Taehyung.” 

Jimin’s hands move, finding their way to Taehyung’s hair. “I believe in soulmates, and I believe in fate, and I fully believe that we were meant to find one another and fall in love because we’re soulmates.” 

Taehyung stares at Jimin, enamored. 

“Is that too much?” Jimin asks, sounding out of breath. “Is it okay that I think that or is it too much?” 

Taehyung shakes his head. “Not too much,” he mumbles. Then, sounding more sure of himself, “Never too much. I literally just admitted to having six paintings of you in my closet.” 

Jimin laughs and Taehyung moves his own hands to rest on Jimin’s hips. 

“Nothing you could say would scare me off now,” Taehyung admits. “Especially not the idea of us being soulmates.” 

“You really love me?” Jimin asks, finally looking Taehyung directly in the eyes. “You really, truly love me, too?” 

“I do,” Taehyung confirms. “I am in love with you, Park Jimin.” 

Jimin smiles, wide and bright and the best sight that Taehyung has ever seen in his entire life. “And I am in love with you, Kim Taehyung.” 

“I’m going to kiss you now, okay?” Taehyung asks, leaning forward slowly. He doesn’t think that Jimin will back out of a kiss, but Taehyung gives him the time to choose that, if that’s what he wants. 

And Jimin doesn’t pull away. He simply nods and a sense of relief floods through Taehyung so overwhelmingly that he wonders if anyone else has ever felt a sensation this close to euphoria before.

When their lips meet, Taehyung is delighted to find out how well they fit together. He’s lost in the softness of Jimin’s lips, which have always looked so plump that Taehyung couldn’t help but daydream about what they would feel like if he was ever lucky enough to kiss Jimin. Still, he doesn’t think that any of his daydreams were even half as good as what it feels like to kiss Jimin for real. 

Their lips slot against one another, a little hesitant at first, but both Taehyung and Jimin quickly become more comfortable and begin to move their lips, connecting them in different kinds of ways just to see what each way might feel like. 

Some of the movements are slow and languid, like they’re trying to show the amount of love built up inside them through their lips. Some are a bit more rushed and needy, like Taehyung and Jimin both are suddenly realizing that neither of them thought that they’d ever get to do this. No matter what kinds of kisses they’re exchanging, Taehyung thinks that they feel like heaven. 

When they pull apart from one another, lips slick and glossy, Jimin smiles at Taehyung, looking like he can’t quite believe his life right now. 

“I love you,” he says, sounding like he’s happy to just be able to say those words out loud. Sounds like he’s been holding them in for a long time. 

Taehyung understands that feeling. He leans in to hug his arms around Jimin’s waist, picking him up and spinning him around, unsure where to channel all of the excitement and adrenaline that’s built up in his body over the last twenty minutes. 

When he puts Jimin back down, Taehyung leans in to give him a small kiss on the lips, feeling an overwhelming sense of contentment at the fact that he can just kiss Jimin now. 

“I love you, too,” he whispers back. 

And the early morning of Tuesdays has always been Taehyung’s favorite time of day. But now, he thinks that there’s no way he’ll ever love a time of day so much.

🍯

When Saturday arrives, Taehyung is really, really glad that he had shown Jimin the paintings while it was just the two of them in a room alone, because he doesn’t think that the subsequent makeout session would have been highly favored by the faculty and student workers at the center the showcase is being held at. 

Plus, Taehyung isn’t sure why he ever thought that Jimin wouldn’t have known exactly what was going on in his heart once he saw the pieces. In hindsight, it’s obvious, Taehyung thinks. Sure, he had been fairly certain that he hallucinated the original honey conversation, but still , the paintings were fairly obvious regarding Taehyung’s feelings. Taehyung also thinks that there was probably many more indicators of their feelings for one another than either Taehyung or Jimin realized, both so scared of not being loved back that they ignored the signs that they were being loved so intensely.

His works are all highly praised by those who come through his section. One person offers to buy the painting that Taehyung had made in the fall- the piece of the man holding a flower with a fairy hiding inside of it. Taehyung honestly has a hard time accepting the offer, unsure about selling something that he considers to be very personal to him. Really, it’s the first piece of artwork that Taehyung had made for Jimin that Jimin ever saw. 

But Jimin, who stands beside Taehyung the entire night at the showcase, is so excited to see that something made out of their love is worth money that Taehyung accepts the offer. 

It’s the only piece of his that gets bought, but Taehyung doesn’t feel too upset about that. Jimin also doesn’t seem to be upset on his behalf, asking Taehyung if he can take the bluebird and honey pot paintings and hang them in his bedroom. Taehyung, of course, says that nothing in the world would make him happier. 

When they get back home, Taehyung and Jimin fish out the box of command strips that Namjoon bought him months prior. They use the level that Yoongi had “accidentally” left in their apartment to hang up the paintings above Jimin’s desk in his bedroom.

Jungkook stands in the doorway, watching the two with a pleased smile on his face. 

“So,” he says. “Did you two finally get your shit together?” 

Taehyung quickly spins around and Jimin narrows his eyes at Jungkook. 

“No thanks to you,” Jimin says, sounding accusatory. “I would have started being touchy and flirty with Taehyung in, like, November if I hadn’t thought that you and Yoongi were trying to jump his bones.” 

Jungkook shrugs. “Not my fault that you take my platonic love for my best friend to be something sexual.” 

Jimin rolls his eyes and Taehyung smiles. Jungkook can be a little much at times, but Taehyung is truly thankful to have such a loving best friend. 

“Also,” Jungkook says, accusing Jimin now. “You refused to tell me the name of the boy that you liked. Even though I thought that you liked Taehyung, if you would have just given me his name, I could have told him the day that he told me how sexy he finds you that you wanted to marry him, too.” 

“You told Jungkook that I’m sexy?” Jimin asks, turning toward Taehyung. 

Taehyung nods. “I think that’s how we started becoming close.” 

Jungkook scoffs from the doorway. “Even though I told him time and time again that you’re like a brother to me and thinking of you in a sexual manner makes me want to throw up all over the place, he continued to tell me how much he wants to bang you.” Jungkook pauses, head turning to the side, like he’s thinking. “Or how much he wants to be banged by you? It was hard to tell but I think that Taehyungie-hyung is a switch if the way that he thirsts over you is anything to go by.” 

Without waiting for a response, Jungkook sends a cheeky wink in their direction, and leaves the room, pulling Jimin’s door shut behind him. 

“Well,” Taehyung says, blushing and feeling shy all of a sudden. “He’s not exactly wrong.” 

“That day in the locker room,” Jimin gulps, reminiscing. “God, I think that I jerked off to that mental picture for- well, how long has it been since then?” 

Jungkook knocks on the door before peeking his head back into the room.

“What?” Jimin scowls.

“I’m going to spend the night at Yoongi-hyung’s apartment,” Jungkook says as though he ever has let them know when he’s leaving the apartment for the night. “So, if you two need to, like, christen the relationship or whatever, you have until two p.m. tomorrow.” 

“Oh my god,” Taehyung says. “I thought you didn’t want to think about Jimin having sex!” 

After the apartment door slams shut behind Jungkook, Jimin turns back toward Taehyung with a mischievous glint in his eye. “I’m not opposed to christening the relationship,” he says, laughing and putting air quotes around the word christening. 

Taehyung thinks that his dick twitches a little. 

“I don’t have anything, though,” Jimin admits. “No condoms or lube or anything like that.” 

Taehyung sighs. “Unfortunately, I know exactly where Jungkook and Yoongi keep everything of theirs and I would almost guarantee that there’s been a note left on it telling us to use their condoms and lube as we wish.” 

“Perfect,” Jimin grins. “But let’s not have sex in Jungkook’s bedroom. Hurry and grab anything before we start anything.” 

🍯

Taehyung officially takes Jimin on their first date the next morning. 

He wakes up feeling sore, but thinks that it’s to be expected. He’d never had sex before, but he’d done so much research when he first realized that he was into men. His first source of information had been porn, but then he realized that it was not very good source material. Then he moved on to Reddit and other internet sources that gave him much better advice. 

Jimin had been an absolute angel through the entire night, treating him gently and asking if he felt okay and making sure that he didn’t hurt Taehyung. Though he’s pretty sure that they both cried a bit, Taehyung can’t think of a better first time. 

They decided to go to brunch for their date because, when they woke up- the morning after having sex for the first time- Jimin had said, “I can’t believe that you let me hit it before we’ve even gone on a date.” 

Taehyung laughed really hard and said that they would go on their first date as soon as they finished getting ready. 

So now, they’re waiting outside of a really fancy brunch place that had taken them nearly forty minutes to get to by bus, but Jimin had said that the reviews for the place were fantastic and he sweet-talked his way into getting a reservation and he held Taehyung’s hand the entire bus ride, so Taehyung didn’t complain about the long ride. 

“How did you get us a reservation?” Taehyung asks. He always assumes that fancy places like this (which will really dig into Taehyung’s allowance from his dad) are reserved months in advance. “It was so last minute and this place seems… much fancier than I am used to.” 

“I told the lady on the other end that I was taking my soulmate on our first ever date and I needed to go somewhere that I knew would treat him well,” Jimin says, winking at Taehyung. “Then I told her that I’ve been in love with you for over a year and asked if she could find it in her heart to get us a table.” 

Taehyung laughs. “And that worked?” 

Jimin opens the email on his phone, showing not only a reservation confirmation, but also a coupon for half-off of their bottomless mimosas. 

“Wow,” Taehyung says as they walk into the restaurant. “You do really know how to sweet talk.” 

Jimin winks at him again and Taehyung feels his heart leap. Even knowing that Jimin loves him back - or maybe because he knows that Jimin loves him back- Taehyung feels his heart leap in his chest. 

“Never thought we’d be here,” Jimin comments as he takes a seat directly across from Taehyung at the table. “I really thought that I was doomed to love you in secret for the rest of our lives.” 

Taehyung snorts. “How long with neither of us dating someone else do you think it would take before one of us mentioned it? Like until one of us said something about neither of us ever dating anyone?” 

“I literally did mention it, bird,” Jimin says. “I was talking about it the night of our housewarming party. I told you about how everyone is always asking you out and how you deny them every time!” 

“Ah,” Taehyung says, remembering that particular conversation now. “I think that Yoongi and Jungkook were making out next to me at the time. Jungkook’s knee was digging into my side and I was trying to figure out whether you liked me or not too much to focus on you hitting on me.”

Jimin laughs, waving the waitress over so that they can put their orders in. Jimin asks for a round of mimosas and they both order some fancy sounding egg meal.

“Wow,” Jimin says when they order the same thing. “We really are soulmates.” 

Taehyung hums. “Do you think that all of our friends believe that? Like Seokjinie-hyung, Yoongi-hyung, and Jungkookie all knew that I’m in love with you, but do you think that they think that we’re soulmates?” 

“I don’t know,” Jimin admits, shrugging. “But I also don’t think that matters.” 

Taehyung cocks his head to the side, curious. 

“I just mean that what anyone else thinks about the two of us doesn’t matter. In the moment that I met you, I knew that I was destined to be in love with you. And I didn’t know for a long time if you could ever feel that way about me, but I think that you felt something similar when you met me.” 

Taehyung nods. “I did. From the moment I tackled you in the hallway, I knew that I was going to love you forever.” 

“And that’s enough for me,” Jimin says, looking pleased. “I believe in soulmates and I believe that we are soulmates and I don’t care if all of our hyungs and Jungkookie make fun of us for saying it, but I’ll continue to call you my soulmate or my bluebird for the rest of my life.” 

“It’s enough for me, too,” Taehyung whispers. “I really love you, you know? I’m sorry that I was too scared to tell you sooner.” 

Jimin shrugs like he doesn’t mind. “You weren’t saying it in words, no. But if I really think about it, there are so many reasons why I always had that small thought in the back of my brain that you might like me, too. You showed me how much you cared for me.” 

“I guess,” Taehyung says, sighing. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“That night, earlier this week- when I thought that you were maybe in love with me, I couldn’t stand the idea that you loved me and that I led you to think that I didn’t love you back,” Taehyung admits. “I hate that I made you feel like that for months. I didn’t realize that I was making you sad.” 

“It’s fine,” Jimin insists. “We were both being stupid, but now we’re not being stupid- Or, at the very least, we’re being stupid together.” 

Their food arrives while both of them are laughing, happy and unrestrained in their love. 

Taehyung thinks that it’s the most perfect first date that he could ever have asked for, but he also thinks that any date with Jimin would be the most perfect first date ever, so he just thanks the angels above that he gets to have the person who he loves most in the world- his soulmate- be in love with him, too. 

“By the way,” Taehyung says. “On the whole nickname thing- I don’t think that I want to call you spoon for the rest of our lives.” 

🍯

Taehyung finally opens up to his friends at the next LGBTQIA+ club meeting. 

While doing laundry the night prior, Taehyung had told Jimin how he wanted to tell his father about them dating, but that he was also really, really scared about how his father would react.

He truly doesn’t think that his father will react too poorly. In fact, Taehyung is about ninety-five percent sure that his father already knows that Taehyung is in love with Jimin. When he calls, he always asks about Jimin with a teasing lilt to his voice that Taehyung just knows is because his father suspects that Taehyung has feelings for Jimin. 

He’s just worried about telling his mother as well. 

Because Taehyung doesn’t like to keep things from his parents. And he knows that his dad probably wouldn’t want to keep Taehyung’s secret from his mother either. So Taehyung decides that if he’s going to tell his dad, he needs to suck up his feelings and tell both of his parents. 

He knows that it’s the right thing to do, but he’s still terrified to do it. 

“Talk about it tomorrow,” Jimin had whispered, lips pressed to the side of Taehyung’s head in the most comforting manner. “I don’t have any great advice to give you since my parents are a lot different. But I think that Seokjinie-hyung and Namjoonie-hyung might have some really good advice for you.” 

So, when they get through the business beginning of their meeting, and Seokjin asks if anyone has anything specific that they want to talk about, Taehyung shyly raises his hand for the first time ever. 

He’d already asked Yoongi to sit next to him, on the opposite side of him as Jimin, because he really needs Yoongi’s particular brand of comfort today. Taehyung does really love when Jungkook is there to comfort him, all cuddles and affection and loud love, but today Taehyung needs his best friend who will hold his hand while he talks and his boyfriend who will pet his hair while he cries about being scared beside him.

When he’s done detailing his problems- of which there are many - everyone in the room is quiet for a moment. Taehyung isn’t too surprised by this because aside from the day that he had broken down in front of Seokjin, and the very few one-off memories from his teenage years that he’s shared with his friends, Taehyung has remained fairly silent about his life before college. He knows that all of his friends are probably shocked to hear that Taehyung not only suddenly wanted to talk about his life, but talk about his greatest fear at the moment. 

“Well,” Namjoon says, breaking the silence of the room. “Can’t you ask your father not to tell your mother?” 

“No,” Taehyung says immediately, sighing. “I mean-” 

Taehyung sighs again, trying to think of the best way to voice his reasoning for not wanting to ask his father to do that for him. 

“Take me, Yoongi-hyung, and Jungkookie, for example,” Taehyung says. “If I had a secret and I knew that Jungkookie wouldn’t like it, it would be wrong of me to ask Yoongi-hyung to keep that secret from Jungkookie, right?”

Various stances of agreement and disagreement fill the room in response. It seems like Hoseok and Namjoon agree with Taehyung while Jungkook and Seokjin disagree with him. Jimin and Yoongi stay quiet and Taehyung feels immensely grateful for that. 

“I guess,” Taehyung interrupts. “I guess that it doesn’t matter to me whether or not you agree with me. That’s all subjective anyway. I’m not comfortable asking him to lie to her for me,” he explains. Then, directed at Jungkook, he adds, “ Or omit information.” 

“Has your mom called you?” Yoongi asks, voice soft. 

Yoongi and Seokjin know the most about Taehyung’s life with his parents, especially regarding the fact that Taehyung hasn’t heard a word from his mother for over a year at this point. Taehyung actually assumes that’s why Seokjin had disagreed with him before. He knows that Seokjin, as polite as he is, does not feel too fondly for Taehyung’s mother. 

Taehyung shakes his head, feeling the tears burn behind his eyes once again. “No,” he admits. “She doesn’t even message back in the group chat that I created with her and my dad in it. Even though I send messages in there a few times a week.” 

“You shouldn’t have to ask for forgiveness from her, or hide who you are,” Yoongi says, hand gripping Taehyung’s own even tighter. “You’re so incredibly kind and amazing and you’re basically my own family at this point, so I’m going to tell it to you straight. If your mother can’t love you for who you are, I don’t care if she’s your mother. It’s not worth it to hurt yourself trying to please her all of the time, Taehyung.” 

Taehyung lets the tears fall. He doesn't break down into a heavy, full-blown sob like he had done in the ramyeon bar with Seokjin, but he falls into something quieter, and somehow, even sadder. Taehyung thinks that with Seokjin, he had been crying out of anger and pent up emotions. But, now, he’s letting tears of resignation fall. 

“I miss her,” he whispers, knowing that he shouldn’t. She doesn’t text. She doesn’t call. She doesn’t love him. He shouldn’t miss her.

But then Taehyung remembers the painting above his parents bed- the first portrait that he ever really put effort into creating and the first one that he ever made for anyone else. 

Taehyung had used his allowance to secretly pay for actual art classes with an actual art teacher at the local community center so that he could make them something. His teacher helped him create a portrait of his mother’s favorite family photo. She had it framed in the foyer of their house so that it was the first thing that any guests would see when they came over. She even had a bunch of smaller copies of the photo made that were the perfect size for her wallet, so that when one faded, she could quickly and easily replace it with another. 

Taehyung was ten in the picture and his parents had splurged to get a nice photo session done. Taehyung remembers how happy his mother had been that morning. He remembers how she put him into a brand new sweater and brushed through his hair and helped him practice his best smile in the mirror so that everyone would be happy with the result. 

In his final year of high school, Taehyung created the family photo into the portrait as a Parents’ Day gift. The day that he gave it to them to open, Taehyung watched his mother burst into happy tears and Taehyung decided that he wanted to go into art. Make portraits for a living. Because he always wanted to make people as happy as his mother had been that day. 

“I miss her so much,” he cries. “I don’t know what to do- I want her to know,” he sobs . “I want my dad to know because he’s trying and I think that he already knows that I’m in love with Jimin and I don’t want to hide it from him, but my mom won’t even pick up my phone calls-” 

“Tae- Bird, hey, calm down,” Jimin says, suddenly crouching in front of his chair. “You’re breathing pretty heavy there, Tae.” 

Taehyung nods, trying to show that he can hear Jimin and that he’s with him. 

“Good,” Jimin says. “Just breathe along with me, okay?” 

After a moment of Taehyung and Jimin breathing together, and once his heart rate is steady again, Taehyung feels exhausted. He thinks that having emotions is exhausting. 

Jimin moves back to his seat and his hand immediately finds Taehyung’s hair, seeming like the most natural thing in the world to Jimin, and he feels so much comfort from that simple gesture. 

He loves Jimin so much. 

“You shouldn’t have to feel so stressed out over this, hyung,” Jungkook says, looking like he might cry as well. “Maybe you can send a message in the chat that you made? I know that you’re really scared and I get it, but I think that you’ll feel a lot better if you tell them both.” 

Taehyung nods. It’s not exactly what he wants to do, but he thinks that it’s probably the best solution to his original issue of not wanting to ask his father to lie for him, so he’ll do it. 

“Okay,” he says, not feeling hopeful, but also not feeling as dreadful as he had been when he came into the meeting. 

“Okay, yes, I think I’ll send them a message.” 

🍯

Me > Appa, Eomma
[9:22 PM]

this is jimin.
he’s my boyfriend
i’ve talked to appa about him a lot

Eomma left the chat.  

🍯

The next time that Taehyung hears from his father is near the end of the semester. 

The weather is warmer and Taehyung is finally feeling less anxious about his family. That doesn’t mean that Taehyung’s doing perfect- his mother leaving the group chat that he had made for them caused another meltdown- but he’s about a month into seeing an actual licensed therapist and he feels like he at least has some sense of closure from his mother. 

Taehyung’s therapist tells him that it’s a good thing that he feels like he has closure because it will make the grief of losing his mother just a little bit easier to deal with. 

So Taehyung’s father contacting him the week before finals comes as a surprise to him. A surprise call during midterm season would have probably sent Taehyung into a panic, but not only does Taehyung feel more equipped to deal with his emotions now, but he’s also feeling really good about his final projects. He’s had a decent bit of time to get them done and he’s mostly happy with the work that he’s turning in the following week, even if he’s a bit nervous about his Chemistry final. 

“Appa,” Taehyung says when he answers, concerned and confused. His father hadn’t replied to the picture of Jimin and Taehyung in the group chat, even after his mother left the chat. Taehyung took this as a sign that he’d been misreading his regular chats with his father, that maybe his father had still been pretending that Taehyung never came out and that he’d ruined that for his father. Then his dad didn’t call for a few weeks and he got really concerned that he’d been entirely wrong about his father accepting him. “Hey.” 

“Taehyung, how are you?” His father asks. “Your finals are next week, right? Are you feeling good about them? Eating enough to keep your strength up?” 

Taehyung nods before realizing that his father can’t see him. “Yeah,” Taehyung answers, feeling dizzy. “I’m a little nervous about my Chemistry exam, but one of my hyungs here is a science major and he’s been helping me study a lot.” 

“Ah,” his father says. “Namjoon-ssi, right?” 

A bit of happiness bursts inside of Taehyung’s heart when he hears his father not only remember his friend’s name, but also what he’s studying. 

“Yeah,” Taehyung says, biting back a smile. “Yeah, it’s Namjoonie-hyung.” 

“So,” his father says after a moment of awkward silence. “I was actually calling to see about you coming home this summer.” 

Taehyung’s so shocked that he actually stops talking. “What-” 

“Not the whole summer,” his father quickly adds. “I know that you have friends there and the last time that we talked you were thinking about applying for a part-time job so that you could have a bit more fun,” he says, taking a deep breath. “But I would really like it if we could see each other for a week or two.” 

“What?” Taehyung asks, shocked. Mostly because he doesn’t have high hopes that his mother wouldn’t immediately kick him back into the streets if he dared show up on their doorstep.

His dad sighs. “I know that it took me a few weeks to call, but it’s not because I was uncomfortable with the photo of you and Jimin-ssi that you sent or because I was trying to avoid you or anything like that.” 

“Then why-” 

“I was busy moving back into your halmeoni’s house,” his father says. 

“What?” Taehyung asks, worry suddenly surging through his veins. “You and eomma are moving in with halmeoni? Is she okay? Is halmeoni sick?” 

His dad sighs again, sounding so, so tired. “I moved here alone,” he explains. “Your eomma and I have agreed to get a divorce.” 

Taehyung’s heart sinks. He remembers, as a child, being so enamored by his parents’ love for one another. Remembers watching his parents dance around the kitchen. Remembers his mom laughing while his dad dipped her. Remembers thinking that he wanted to feel a love like that someday, too. 

“What?” 

“Tae,” his dad says, sounding like he might be crying. “I feel so sorry toward you. I should have left her months and months ago.” 

Someone bumps into Taehyung from behind and he immediately apologizes for standing in the middle of the sidewalk. Taehyung had been walking toward the library, but he immediately changes course to head toward the dance studio where he knows that Jimin is at right now, practicing for his own final performance. 

“I shouldn’t have let someone make you feel like you’re wrong or unworthy or unloveable for being who you are. You’re the most important person in the world to me, you know? You’re my son. And I shouldn’t have let her hurt you for so long,” his father sobs into the phone. “I know that it will be hard. I brought you so much pain, but I hope that you’ll be able to find it in your heart to forgive me someday.” 

“Appa,” Taehyung says. “I don’t blame you for anything.” 

His dad laughs, though it sounds much more sad than funny. “You should. I made a lot of wrong decisions in the last year. But, Taehyung, I love you.” 

“Appa-” 

“You’re a really great artist and a good and kind person and I don’t care that you’re gay. I only care that you treat your boyfriend with the same care and respect that I would have expected you to treat a girlfriend with.” 

Taehyung thinks that there are tears in his eyes again and he briefly wonders when on Earth he started crying so much. Though, for the first time in a while, the tears are from happiness instead of sadness or anxiety. 

“Appa, I love you,” Taehyung says. “There’s nothing for me to forgive, even if you think that there is. But I’ll tell you that I forgive you anyway, just so that you know it’s true.” 

Taehyung arrives at the dance studio and stands outside of the room that Jimin always practices in, waiting to go inside until he gets off the phone with his dad. 

“So,” his dad says. “Can I buy you a train ticket down here for a few weeks?”

Taehyung smiles. “That would make me really, really happy, appa.” 

They hang up shortly after, both seemingly too overwhelmed with various emotions to keep talking, but also with the promise of talking soon so that they can make definitive plans for when Taehyung will visit. 

Taehyung walks into the studio, smiling softly at Jimin when their eyes meet in the mirror. Jimin, looking concerned, quickly stops his routine and turns off the music. 

“Hey,” he says, turning toward Taehyung. “I thought that you were going to study with Jungkookie and Yoongi-hyung at the library. Is everything okay?” 

Taehyung nods. “Yeah,” he answers. “I’m happy so I wanted to come and see you. Make myself even happier.” 

Jimin smiles, bright and blinding and Taehyung’s favorite sight in the world. Taehyung is sure that Jimin would be blushing if his face wasn’t already so red from practicing. 

“Oh,” Jimin says, sounding pleased. “Go into that corner, then,” he instructs, pointing toward the back corner of the room where his duffel bag and water bottle sit. Then, giggling, Jimin bows and says, “And enjoy the show.” 

Taehyung doesn’t study for his Chemistry final that day, but his heart is full from both talking to his father and watching Jimin dance, so he doesn’t really mind when he gets a ‘B’ on his final instead of an ‘A’. 

🍯

“Welcome to the final meeting of the LGBTQIA+ club for the semester,” Seokjin announces on the second day of finals week. 

“We’re in a taco restaurant,” Jungkook says, looking around. Taehyung nods, agreeing. He’s never been to a Mexican restaurant before, didn’t even know that there were any near the school. But Seokjin had sent out a group text message the night prior with nothing more than an address and Taehyung trusts him enough to show up. “Plus, you started last week’s meeting with that exact line.” 

“Well,” Seokjin says, looking over a frozen margarita menu. “Last week there were a bunch of other people at the meeting, expecting free food even though they’ve only come to one meeting the entire semester.” 

Yoongi rolls his eyes, looking vaguely annoyed at Seokjin, but he’s also laughing. Taehyung holds Jimin’s hand while he waits for them to get a turn to look at the drink menu. 

“ This is how we abuse the food budget from the school,” Seokjin continues. “We just lie and say that this is the last meeting of the year.” 

Yoongi shrugs. “Good enough reason for me.” 

“As the president of this LGBTQIA+ club,” Seokjin says, looking around their large table. “I would like to say that I’m very happy to have met you all since you joined the club. I don’t want to say that I’m the reason that we’re all really good friends, but I am probably the reason that we’re all really good friends.” 

“That’s not even close to true,” Hoseok says, laughing. “You’re a liar. But I love you anyway.” 

“I’m so glad that you three finally got your shit together,” Yoongi mumbles. “Though it does make me want to move out of the apartment.”

“You should move out of the apartment, hyung,” Namjoon says. Yoongi glares at him. “Not because we don’t love having you around, but we’re all in pretty serious relationships now. I think that the three of us living together without you is the most logical next step in our relationship.” 

Yoongi’s glare softens and Taehyung knows that he’s largely playing up an act. He had told Taehyung the week before that he’s planning to ask Jungkook to move in with him soon. That he knows that Jungkook and Jimin and Taehyung all haven’t lived out their lease yet, but that he’s willing to pay for Jungkook’s portion of the rent if it means that he gets to have Jungkook live with him. 

“You three just want to have all the sex you can imagine,” Yoongi grumbles. 

The rest of the table laughs, but Taehyung can see Yoongi watching Jungkook’s face, waiting for any suggestion that Jungkook might want Yoongi to move out so that they can live together. Jungkook had talked about moving out only once, and it seemed to be much more of a joke than anything else, so neither Taehyung or Yoongi are sure if Jungkook wants to take that next step. 

“Hyung,” Jungkook says, still chuckling. “It would be good for us, too, don’t you think? Do you know how awful it is to wake up in the morning and see Namjoonie-hyung just wandering around in his boxers?” 

“It’s a delight for you,” Namjoon shoots back. 

“You think that it would be nice for us to have a place with a little more privacy?” Yoongi asks Jungkook, looking a tad nervous. 

Jungkook smiles, soft as always when he looks at Yoongi. “I’d love nothing more, Yoongi-yah,” he says, acting cheeky and Yoongi grins back, smile wide, wide, wide. 

“Looks like Yoongi moving out would make sex a lot easier for everyone, then,” Hoseok says, laughing. “Jimin and Taehyung, too!” 

“Hyung,” Taehyung whines. He’s still a bit embarrassed to talk about his and Jimin’s sex life with his friends. He gives some details to Jungkook when Jungkook presses him to talk about it, saying that it’s what best friends talk about and that he’s only doing it for Taehyung’s benefit because he really doesn’t want to hear about Jimin having sex. But, other than that, Taehyung is quite shy. “Don’t tease me like that.” 

“Oh,” Hoseok jokes. “But Jiminie says that you love to be teased.” 

Taehyung yelps, throwing a wadded up, but unused, napkin at Hoseok. “Don’t talk about that,” he whines, turning to pout at Jimin. “Jiminie.” 

Jimin laughs, bright and light, the exact same way that he had laughed when they met one another in the laundry room during their second week of college. “Sorry, bird,” he says. “I can keep your secrets if you want me to.” 

Then he winks at Taehyung and Taehyung feels his heart flutter. 

“Okay,” he says. “You can tell Hoseokie-hyung as long as he doesn’t tease me,” Taehyung says, glaring at Hoseok while his lips push out a bit further at Jimin. 

He’s sure it’s a funny sight, Taehyung doing aegyo. But something that Taehyung has learned in the few months that he’s been dating Jimin is that Jimin really likes it when he’s acting cute. Something about Taehyung doing aegyo makes Jimin take care of him even harder and Taehyung really likes to be taken care of. 

Seokjin finally calls the waitress over, orders multiple kinds of chips and dips and tacos for everyone to share, while also asking if there’s just a pitcher of margarita that they can all pour from, or even better, asking if they can just buy a bottle of tequila, making Yoongi groan and the rest of the table laugh. 

Dinner is delightful. Taehyung doesn’t think that he’s laughed so hard without any worries plaguing his mind ever in his life. He really likes the feeling.

He really likes the feeling of being surrounded by people that he knows care about him. 

He likes that Seokjin, Namjoon, and Hoseok are there. Three people who have always taken the time to check in on Taehyung or offer him advice when he needs it. Three people who have always made sure that he’s cared for and well-fed, always made sure that Taehyung knows that there are people who will listen to him when he needs to cry. 

He likes that Jungkook is there. Someone who was an unexpected friend, but still one of his best friends, nonetheless. Someone who will always make him laugh, always make him smile. Someone who will always climb into bed with him and Jimin even if they’re naked because boundaries between them pretty much don’t exist any longer. Someone who was really shy at first, but opened himself and his heart up so earnestly to Taehyung, becoming one of his absolute best friends. 

He likes that Yoongi is there. Likes that Yoongi is sitting right beside him, in the comforting way that he always does, ready to take care of Taehyung at a moment’s notice. He likes that, when Yoongi has had just a little too much of the margarita from the pitcher, he refers to Taehyung as his sibling. He says it so casually, like he didn’t even think about it, and Taehyung feels tears sting in the back of his eyes. His familial love for Yoongi burns so deeply in his heart that he couldn’t be happier that someone he loves so much loves him back in the same way. He thinks of the painting in his closet that’s about his love for Yoongi and decides that he’ll gift it to Yoongi as a housewarming gift when Yoongi moves into his own place. 

More than anything, however, Taehyung is happy that Jimin is beside him. He likes that Jimin is pressed up against him, whispering jokes in Taehyung’s ear about all of their friends and whining when anyone accuses him of doing so. Taehyung likes that Jimn grabs one of the tacos, taking some of the hotter topping off before placing it on Taehyung’s plate. He likes that, when he’s not eating, Jimin’s hand always finds its way to some part of Taehyung’s body, always touching, letting Taehyung know that he’s there. Letting Taehyung know that he loves him. 

Taehyung hadn’t been convinced, on the day that they confessed, that soulmates exist like Jimin had told him. But the longer that they’ve been together, the more time that they spend with one another, pressed into each other’s arms, laughing with their friends, doing laundry in the middle of the night, Taehyung thinks that Jimin must have been right. Thinks that he and Jimin must have been created out of the same star. Thinks that they must be soulmates. 

🍯

They have to put Seokjin, Hoseok, and Namjoon in a cab. Yoongi pays the fare with a fond eye roll. 

“Are we all going back to our place?” Jimin asks when the taxi pulls away and Yoongi is still standing with them. 

“Actually,” Yoongi says. “I have a place that I want to show Jungkook.” 

Jungkook’s eyes go wide, looking curious and confused. Taehyung fights back a grin. 

“We’ll see you guys later, okay?” Yoongi says, leading Jungkook in the opposite direction of Taehyung’s apartment. 

“What was that about?” Jimin asks, also looking curious. 

“I think that hyung already got an apartment,” Taehyung whispers to Jimin. “He’s just been waiting for the right time to show Jungkookie where he wants them to live.” 

Jimin nods, looking genuinely excited for their friends. “That explains why he was so nervous earlier.” 

“Right?” Taehyung asks. “He really loves Jungkookie, doesn’t he?” 

Jimin nods. “I told you back in October. I told you that they were meant to be together,” he insists, despite Taehyung not disagreeing with him at all. “It’s just so interesting to me how they balance one another out.” 

“I think that we balance each other out, too,” Taehyung says, leaning down to kiss Jimn. He tries to keep public displays of affection to a minimum, especially when they’re around their friends who seem to have no idea how inappropriate they can act at times. But Taehyung has wanted to kiss Jimin all evening long and feels like he can’t deny himself the urge any longer. 

Jimin hums into the kiss. “I think you’re right, bird,” he says, kissing Taehyung again. This time, it’s longer and harder, making Taehyung get especially excited at the possibility of them living together alone. “Are you ready to go home?” 

Taehyung nods, suddenly thinking about the night that Jimin had texted in the group chat, asking if Taehyung wanted to be roommates with him and Jungkook. Taehyung remembers how he thought that he would be fucked, doomed to a life of pining for Park Jimin if he said yes. Remembers thinking that he was about to make the worst decision of his life. 

Taehyung was wrong, though. He’s not doomed to love Park Jimin. He’s happy and lucky to have gotten to meet someone so lovely and kind and worth loving. He’s honored that he gets to be with the person who understands him better than anyone else in the world. 

He’s changed his mind. He thinks that moving in with Park Jimin is probably the best decision he’s ever made. One that he would make over and over again.

“Yeah,” Taehyung says, taking Jimin’s hand in his own, thinking about nothing more than how he’s excited to spend the rest of his life with Jimin. “Ready to go home with you.” 

“Maybe someday soon, it will be just our apartment,” Jimin says. “What do you think of that? Want to live with just me?” 

Taehyung’s happy that his first test of choosing Jimin over and over comes so quickly.

“Yeah,” Taehyung says, squeezing Jimin’s hand. “Living with you seems like the best thing in the world.” 

“Good,” Jimin laughs. “Because I love you and I’m never letting you go, bird.” 

Taehyung knows that it’s impossible for Jimin to let Taehyung go. Taehyung’s been stuck to Jimin like honey for a while now, and he wouldn’t want that to change. 

If I was a bluebird , Taehyung thinks. I would fly to you . You’d be the spoon- dip you in honey so I could be sticking to you.