Chapter 1: A New Dawn in Paradise
Chapter Text
—Centhia, North New Bergen, 2nd Silverbloom Street, 03.011.2554, 10:33—
The sun had just begun to stretch over the tall buildings as Rosa exited her apartment block. The outside that met her was almost as green as it was grey, the classic Centhian brutalist style slowly being overtaken by affini structures and decoration. The street was filled with people, but not choked with it as it once had been. Something she was very grateful for personally. Nothing, or at least very little, was worse than the choked crowds of a morning rush.
Not that morning rushes were a thing anymore. When people didn’t need to work there was little reason for everyone to get out in the street at the same time. Not that people rushed either, most took their time to wherever they wanted to go. A tiny itch in her mind still identified that sort of behavior with wealth, but that itch was growing easier to ignore.
Rosa took a deep breath of unpolluted air and stretched, allowing the morning grogginess to slip further from her mind. She decided not to take the rail system today, deciding that it was too beautiful to spend underground and people would survive if she was a little late. The rising sun gleamed wonderfully off the new affini buildings that dotted the streets she passed and even the concrete buildings looked less oppressive. Most people looked happy, free of the crushing weight that had once been ever-present.
It had been over six months since the affini had taken control and provided some much-needed stability to the planet. The accord was gone, and the one-month republic had been a short-lived affair, as the name indicated. Capitalism, class society, and the Henrikian surveillance state were all gone and replaced with the Compact’s benevolent, and indisputable rule.
Rosa spotted one of the invaders, an affini carrying a doped-up floret in their arms. It was far from the only one, their numbers steadily increasing over the past months. The tall plant people in their spectacular forms were also quite difficult to miss.
Something in the blue sky caught her attention, a swarm of white affini shuttles, it almost looked like a school of fish. They were probably heading for the arrival center in the center of town. Another group, far from the first and far, far from the last.
During the initial invasion, the affini had almost been too few to maintain control. Now there were over two billion of them on the planet. According to the news and some general speculations, there would be around three times as many within the decade. Centhia had always had a massive population, 12 billion by the old administration’s numbers. Only the affini could increase that to 18 billion in the span of a few short years and still not struggle with providing housing, amenities, and food for everyone.
While deep in thought and admiring the trees that had been planted on both sides of the pedestrian-dominated street, she almost walked straight into an affini. The xeno leaned down and smiled, clearly adoring the ‘silly terran’ in front of her. “Hello there cutie, would you be a dear and tell me where the nearest domestication center is?~” Rosa took a step back and looked up at the affini, having to cover her eyes from of the sun.
It also conveniently hid the fact she could not resist rolling her eyes. “Continue down this street, take a left at the presidential garden, then the first street to the right. You should see it after the third intersection.” A vine landed on her head and gave her a few pats.
The affini continued to talk in her melodic voice. “Thank you for being so helpful, little one~ Maybe we will see each there?” They giggled, a strange and enchanting noise.
Rosa had no intention of dignifying that with a response and merely waved as she walked away. Her irritation quickly settled, but the encounter had reminded her of the fact that not everything was perfect in this brave new world. That fact was also the reason she was out at the moment, someone had to make things better.
Realizing that she might be a bit later than hoped, Rosa picked up the pace, waking rapidly past the other pedestrians. The university soon came into view, its wide stretch of open space and low buildings one of the few complexes which had not required affini renovation. Getting closer, the posters of the Red Dawn Movement were many and easy to spot. Their presence filled her with pride. When she finally made it to the mess hall they had requisitioned for the meeting she allowed herself to catch her breath.
The first thing that meet her was Kevin, he smiled and waved her over.. “I was beginning to think that you weren’t coming today.” They both chuckled at the obvious joke. Rosa peaked around her friend, it looked like the tables were almost full.
Her pride blossomed further. “You know I never miss a meeting. How many have joined us today?”
Kevin nodded. “I counted 45 a few minutes ago. Half are new and from the sound of it, many of them are interested in joining.” Rosa grinned, things were finally getting on track.
New members were always the highlight of her work.. “Is veronica here? We need to get the member list in order soon.” A movement without proper paperwork was little more than a flash in the pan.
Kevin’s smile faded. “No…in fact I don’t think she will be coming, at least for some time.” Rosa’s mood mellowed, Veronica must have been having a harder time than she thought.. “I went to visit her yesterday, but she wasn’t in her apartment.” She wasn’t home? That seemed very unlike the girl she knew.
Her comrade sighed. “I called the outreach center, apparently she had been taken into a temporary wardship. A committee will be evaluating…forced domestication in a couple of weeks.” Fuck….Rosa knew Veronica had it difficult…but domestication?
She forced a smile. “I can go and visit her later, hopefully it can be sorted without resorting to such a drastic measure. I can take care of the paperwork as well, I need something to spend my time on after all.” Kevin did not look as reassured as she had hoped.
There was some audible concern in his voice. “Are you sure? At this point you are practically doing almost everything. Maybe we should have a reformative meeting, don’t want you to go the way of the president.” It was a joke, but not one she appreciated all that much.
Rosa upped the confidence in her voice. “I am not governing a planet, this is just a few documents. I promise I can handle it. Also, we are seeing a surge in activity right now. I don’t want to slow it down with boring and member-only meetings. Once we have a solid membership base we can do some organization building. Can I trust you to handle the mobilization effort?”
With a resigned sigh Kevin nodded.. “Of course, I’ll handle it.”
She moved an arm around his shoulder and dragged him along.. “That’s my man, now lets go start this meeting. We have a world to win.” Even with the dent in her mood that the news of Veronica had made, Rosa was sure this was going to be a great day.
–Centhia, North New Bergen, Genus University grounds, 03.11.2554, 11:46–
Echina Magis, 4th bloom, strolled through the terran learning center while inspecting the architecture. Unlike most of what she had seen of the terran’s construction so far, the buildings were friendly with a lot of open space between them. She appreciated this, terrans had an unfortunate tendency of packing their buildings very close together. There were plenty of streets she couldn’t even go down due to their impractical size, hopefully something that would soon be fixed.
Even so, Echina was glad to be working here rather than anywhere else. Terrans were far from the least advanced people that the compact had domesticated, but so much of their knowledge was dangerously flawed, based on misconceptions, or just straight up wrong. And all of it was outdated in some way or another.
That was why she was there, to help these adorable sophonts catch up to compact standards and who knows, perhaps she would find a floret or two. Not that she had started on any of these projects yet, she had only arrived last week.
While moving, something caught her eye. It was a paper-based information sheet, glued to the wall. Big bold letters read. “Come join the discussion for a better tomorrow.” And “Meetings every Tuesday and Friday, 11:00. Taking place at the mess hall at the social science building, open attendance.” In between the two blocks of text there was a logo. A simplistic rendition depiction of a sunrise, and within it an artistic depiction of a terran hand formed into raised fist. Bellow the logo in red letters. “The Red Dawn Movement – A Better Tomorrow Is Within Our reach!”
Interesting, Wednesday…that was today. Echina smiled, what a wonderful opportunity to scout the area while also meeting some of the local cuties. Observing their discussions would also be fruitful for devising the new curriculum she was to produce. She made her way to where the meeting was supposedly held, hopefully it was not already over. Terrans supposedly had a tendency to be easily distracted.
It took her two attempts before Echina found not only the correct building, but also the correct floor and room. Why had the terran organized their structures this way? She had no idea. Maybe something else she could help them with.
The sound of lively conversation in the terran language guided her forward, and when she saw more of the information sheets, she that at last she had found it.
Squeezing herself through the door into the larger hall Echina noticed everything had gone quiet. The terrans were looking at her nervously, perhaps even a little startled…Oh dirt, had she scared them?
One of the terrans stood up and walked confidently forward, her packmates hesitation absent. “Welcome, are you here to join the meeting?” What an adorable terran! So friendly and nice!
Echina nodded, trying to make her voice sound as non-threatening as possible. “Indeed I am, though I must admit I don’t know exactly what this meeting is about.” A smile spread on the terran’s face, so precious!
The girl gestured for her to join them at one of the tables. “Excellent! You are the first affini to come to our meeting, hopefully you will not be the last. Today’s discussion is about accessibility design in infrastructure.” The excitement in the terran’s voice was so self-evident, a true delight of a sophont.
The lack of any fitting chairs was easily solved by her forming her own with some vines split from her form. “Very interesting! I would love to participate and to hear all about what your organization does. Oh, but I have been rude. I am Echina Magis, 4th bloom, she/her. It is a pleasure to meet all of you.”
The pack leader nodded.. “The pleasure is mutual, I am Rosa Tordenberg, she/her…” the terran looked to the right, waiting for the young man seated next to her to answer. The terran blushed slightly and remained silent, clearly covering for her friend’s shyness, Rosa spoke. “This is Kevin Tremblay, he/him.” The terran to the next of Kevin introduced themselves and so it continued until the round was complete.
Rosa took the word once more. “As to who we are: The Red Dawn Movement started as an underground students’ organization a couple of years ago under the old regime. We had a quite radical program, and sadly our protests were suppressed…little change was actually achieved back then.” There was a clear sadness in the terran’s tone of voice. Poor things, having to live through such an oppressive society.
Rosa smiled with renewed excitement. “Now however, with the fall of the old order, we have reorganized to foster the creation of affini and terran co-existence. We still want to work for a better world, and for once open discussion and activity is finally available as a path to that goal.” Echina had been slightly worried that this was a gathering place for ferals; a problem that had yet to be dealt with. She was glad to see that was not the case, at least some cuties understood that what the compact did was for their own good. Not all were so understating, not that they could be blamed, just helped to understand.
She straightened herself. “If there is discussion I would be very happy to lend my expertise. Accessibility design in infrastructure, was it?” By now most of the terrans in the room relaxed, on the other tables conversation had restarted.
Rosa’s eyes held a wonderful spark. “Yes indeed. After the shift of government, a great deal of new infrastructure has been built and a certain trend has become obvious. In almost all cases the new infrastructure is best suited for affini and domesticated sophonts, sometimes evened to the detriment of independent terrans.” The genuine concern that the girl had for something so minute was adorable.
Another of the terrans spoke. “The new mag-rail shuttles are far better in many ways, I wont deny that. But do the seats have to be so large? You almost can’t get up in them without a ladder. Not to speak of sitting in one while there are only affini around you….” Echina imagined for a moment the terran sitting in one of the seats while surrounded by affini….The imagining could not be completed without the blush the terran was displaying right at this moment.
With the bar for entry lowered, another terran joined in. “I was just at the food depo last day…Why do the shelves have to be so tall? I had to ask four different affini if they could get stuff down for me. There has to be a better solution.” Once more the flustered irritation on display cute beyond words.
Kevin finally took the word. “eh…It…I think we should remember, it was not like things were well designed before. Spaces were allowed to have too much noise, were inaccessible to people with mobility difficultly, or simply designed to be straight up hostile towards people of wrong status. I feel like it has gotten much better in that department.” Once he began to talk, Kevin seemed to lose his hesitation. It seemed to quickly return the second he was done, and he shrunk a little further.
Rosa nodded approvingly. “Well said, this is far from a black-white situation, and I am sure the compact has not done anything maliciously. Before we discuss eventual solutions, Echina, do you have any input on what’s been said?” The way Rosa moved to include her in the conversation was tactful, she clearly had some experience with this.
Echina decided to compose her thoughts carefully before answering. Stating that this was far from unintentional and rather a long-used method in domestication programs, would perhaps not be the smartest. Its logic was sound, softly forcing the client-xenos to rely on, or at the very least interact with the affini around them, did wonders for integrating them into the new society. There was nothing malicious about it, dozen upon dozen of millennia of experience simply proved it to be a good domestication strategy.
Despite this, framing it in another way would probably be best. “Firstly, it’s important to remember that we affini need this infrastructure as well. This building is one of the few exceptions where I don’t have to crouch to fit into it. Florets need some unique infrastructure as well, that should be obvious. Secondly the infrastructure that is accessible to affini and florets, are also usable by independent sophonts. Any difficulties like tall shelves can be easily remedied by getting an affini to help, help they will be happy with providing.” The terrans around her looked thoughtful, seeming to genuinely be considering her words.
This did not mean that there was agreement, and the discussion continued for several hours. Echina had to admit that the terrans brought up some genuinely good points...at least from their point of view. The discussion in itself was also a delight, there was no doubt she would have to invite some others next week. When the meeting began to break up, Rosa and Kevin clearly had some struggles moving the tables used back into correct formation.
It was clear by now that the two had extra responsibility. Just as clear was the fact that Rosa’s intellectual strength was not balanced with her psychical strength. “Kevin, I thought the class-G was supposed to make you stronger…”
The young transman had no reservations about firing back. “I am getting stronger, the problem is that you haven’t worked out a single day in your life. And your class-G don’t make you any weaker anymore so don’t dare come with that excuse.” While amusing it would be wrong to watch them struggle any further.
Echina closed the distance. “This is my worko-“ and with the elegant movement from a couple vines lifted the table and placed it in its correct position. Rosa looked up at her, her expression thankful. “Thanks….could you help us with the rest?” Echina’s core thrummed with a certain type of pride.
There was no way she could say no to such a cutie. “Of course I can~ In fact, just let me handle it.” Echina began to effortlessly, and with some showmanship, organize the room back into order. Menial efforts like this were not something terrans were very well equipped for. One might even argue that they were best equipped for being cute and happy florets, just like every other xeno species the compact had domesticated.
Rosa was organizing a few papers into a backpack while talking to Kevin. “I can take the material back to the office. I have to organize the member list there either way. You can handle the posters for next weeks meeting, right?”
Kevin shrugged. “They will be up before Monday. See you soon.” The two terrans hugged, so adorable! “Hope to see you too. Oh, and thanks for the help.” The terran waved her goodbye as he left.
Rosa was precariously tying to carry a great deal of different equipment and material as she came up to her. “It was very nice to hear your input, will you come next meeting?” Before that question could be answered, the unacceptable situation in front of her had to be rectified.
Only the most disciplined self-restraint allowed her to ask first. “All of that seems awfully heavy. I could carry it for you.” After a moment of hesitation, the girl nodded, and Echina’s vines removed the burdens that never should have been allowed on the terran’s shoulders in the first place.
Now, she could answer. “I have enjoyed myself thoroughly during your meeting, and I will be certain to attend the next one.” A weekly gathering of cute sophonts, especially including the one currently in her company, and thoughtful conversations. There was little else she could ask for….except for perhaps…no, she hardly knew Rosa. It was far too early for such considerations.
Sure she was cute…and intelligent…and hungry for knowledge…And by the Everbloom she was cute! The focus in her eyes, the adorable way her hair sloped down her shoulders, the little motions she did with her arms and hands. It was almost too much! And yet, Echina knew well enough that proposing something like what she was imagining would probably just startle the adorable little cutie.
Getting to know the girl would be a good first step. “I am intrigued. You are clearly supportive of the domestication efforts on this planet but also show little hesitation to critique it. Are you not satisfied with how the compact operates?” The girl was far from a feral, that was certain. Still, Echina could not shake the feeling that the girl had more resistance to the situation than she let on.
Rosa’s voice was even and confident. “I was ready to work my entire life, give my life, to stop the oppression under the Accord. I am very happy that I have not needed to do that, and I can’t complain about the class-G either. But! I am also a very greedy person, there is always room for improvement, and I don’t believe we have reached utopia quite yet.” The terran shot her a wry smile.
A very interesting perspective for sure. “’Utopia’ is a very terran notion, though as one who has spent my blooms on worlds controlled by the compact for centuries, I can testify no society has ever gotten closer. Or do you disagree?” They had walked into another building with a slightly shorter roof than she appreciated, and made their way up a flight of stairs.
The terran had a reply right away. “I might disagree, but that is not the point. Even if utopia is unreachable, reaching for it will improve the lives of many. As long as there is a single problem, I would work to see it fixed…I told you I was greedy.” Echina chuckled, sparing with the terran was fine treat indeed.
Rosa opened a door to the left and walked in. “Just put the stuff over there, I have some paperwork but sick around if you want.” Indeed she would, after depositing the equipment in a nice orderly pile Echina formed a chair from her vines. The terran had sat down on the other side of the desk and started on the wonders of paperwork.
She allowed the girl a few minutes of work before speaking. “What do you do when not trying to make the world a better place?”
Rosa looked up, slightly relived for the distraction. “I still study, following the curriculum of the previous courses until the new one’s arrive. I used to work some dead-end job to afford tuition, but that is not required anymore so I have a good deal of free time.” There was a thirst for knowledge in this sophont, could she be more prefect?....Well there was something.
Echina could feel there was something troubling the girl, and her biorhythm was far too flat. Her heartbeat, her voice, her movements…they were all being carefully managed and controlled. Terrans were easily startled, so it would be best to probe with some casual conversation. “What about friends, family? I could tell that you and Kevin have a good dynamic.” Rosa leaned back in the chair, a thoughtful expression on her face.
“You know how it is, the queer have to stick together….My family on the other hand..” Rosa sighed. “They died 2 years ago during a gang war that got out of hand, caught in the crossfire.” The information struck her like a spout of fire, Echina feeling her flowers wilt. “I was in prison for unlawful organizing at the time so I couldn’t even attend the funeral.” The words were spoken strangely, almost like she couldn’t bring herself to talk. Frost, she could never have imagined.
The strange biorhythm now made sense. The only way Rosa could be speaking of such a tragedy in this manner was if her feelings were heavily suppressed. Echina leaned forward, her vine with class-E itching to be used. “I’m so sorry…It must be difficult…” The girl looked away and nodded.
The happy and energetic attitude was likely a front for unresolved issues. This terran needed her help. “It’s going to be okay…Would you like a hug?” There was no response, Rosa just kept looking away. “My hab is not too far from here. If you want I can make you some food and we can talk about it. I am here for you.”
Finally, Rosa looked back…There was not a trace of tears or sadness, only a frown. “You affini are so disturbingly predictable.”…..What? “I was joking, my parents and brother are very much alive.” The dryness of her voice was like sandpaper.
Echina had for the first time in her life experienced what the terran called ‘having the rug pulled from under you’. An experience she found to be very unpleasant. “Joking? I am not sure I find it very funny.” She had read that some terrans had a macabre style of humor, but this was far beyond that.
Rosa tapped the table with her fingers. “When a human speaks that way it probably means that they are not to be taken seriously. Even newcomer affini recognize this, unless they are far to invested in other explanations…This was a test, one you predictably failed.” irritation hang from every syllable.
The terran stared her down. “You are far from the first affini I have met, and you newcomers are all the same. Do you think I don’t see how you look at me? How you treat me?” Echina was genuinely taken aback. “To you I am only another helpless terran that you find cute. Just another xeno that can’t take care of herself, desperately in need an affini to help her get over some horrifying trauma...And all you ask in return is snatch away my agency and freedom, so I can be my best self.” The terran made a sweeping grasping motion with her left arm.
Echina genuinely did not know what to say, Rosa on the other hand had much more. “Well, you are wasting your time. I am healthy, both mentally and physically. I have friends and a wonderful family, all still alive by the way. My transition went remarkably well, especially when you consider what other people have had to deal with. I work here, I study, I take care of myself. Hell, I have been so good at masking I didn’t even know I had autism before the psychological evaluation I was put through months ago.”
The terran leaned forward. “We have known each other for hardly three hours, there is no reason you should ‘be here for me’. I do not need your help unless I expressly ask for it and I do not want you pity. If you want a floret, looks somewhere else, there are plenty to choose from.” A long uncomfortable silence followed.
This was not how she had wanted it to go at all…and despite the delivery being rather harsh, Rosa did have a point. Her excitement had gotten the best of her. “I am sorry I made you feel that way….I take it you don’t want me to come to the next meeting?” The last thing she wanted now was to intrude.
Rosa deflated and sloped back into the chair. “No….I want you to come, and not only because you are the first affini to attend….You’re nice and we had a wonderful discussion today. Just leave the affini savior complex and cultural supremacy by the door next time, okay?” A cautious and tender smile spread on the terran’s face.
Echina smiled back. “That sounds like an excellent arrangement, equals?” The relief of not having totally mangled her vines filled her core.
A paper and pen were slid across the desk. “If you become a member we can be far more than equals, we can be comrades.” There was a playful glint in the terran’s eyes.
She hesitated for a moment. “Comrade? I’m afraid I have not heard of that word before.” Going over the cultural index for terrans again when she got home was likely a good idea.
Rosa’s smiled wholeheartedly now. “It is the word for a friend who believes in a better tomorrow.” For a moment she hesitated, but no, the terran seemed completely sincere.
Echina read the entire document in a matter of seconds before signing her name. The organization certainly had a lot of potential if guided on the correct path, so the terran’s friendship was not the sole reason. It had not been where her mind had originally wandered, but it was obvious that Rosa didn’t need domestication, unless she wanted it of course. Friendship was a wonderful substitute. She handed the document back. “looks like I am your first affini member, comrade.” Her use of the strange terran word was met with a friendly chuckle.
Rosa took the paper and added it to a pile. “Excellent, I would apologize but you are far from the first friend I have recruited for the cause. Now, I need to get going, a fellow comrade has gotten into some trouble. See you on Tuesday!” Even if the girl was thoroughly out of reach, it did not make her any less adorable.
Chapter 2: A wonderful noon with the chance of rain
Notes:
CW for this chapter: violence and bigotry.
Chapter Text
--Centhia, East New Bergen, Melius district, 09.11.2554, 16:33--
Rosa was walking with an extra brisk pace, there were too many curious and adoring eyes upon her already. There were plenty of affini around, and she did her best to keep her distance. She was not exactly in the mood to be pet, adored, and condescended when she had places to be.
The Melius District was perhaps the area with the greatest affini density in the entirety of New Bergen, its wide streets and colorful buildings standing in strong contrast to the gray city which surrounded it. It wasn’t exactly her style but then again neither was Centhian architecture, sometimes you just didn’t get what you wanted. As far as she remembered the whole place had been abandoned after some sort of accident over a decade ago, so no one could argue the affini replacement it wasn’t an improvement.
Looking over the design of the area, Rosa had to admit it was far better suited to affini habitation. Echina had told her how uncomfortable it could be to contort just to fit tight spaces and she did have a point that most human infrastructure was simply too small. Enough daydreaming, you have work to do. Rosa refocused and increased her speed, deftly avoiding an affini trying to start a conversation and moving on.
While the affini at the outreach center had been slightly irksome and condescending, she had at least gotten an address…An affini address, Rosa had to admit it worried her. Veronica had enough anxiety as it was and moving places had been very difficult for her before…Hopefully, it would not be a permanent relocation.
The affini city planning was as efficient and predictable as the rest of the city, and it did not take long to find the building in question. Outside one could at least pretend that things were normal, the size of everything just a further exaggeration of Centhia’s oppressive scale. Once you got inside, that illusion was quickly shattered. Trying to Ignore the sense of smallness she felt, Rosa took the elevator up to the habitation unit.
Elevator D…Floor 23…door nr.5…Finally. There was an immediate problem, she did not reach up to the doorbell….or at least not the affini doorbell. There was also one at her level, decorated with some cutesy imagery and the text: “Welcome little flower!” Rosa groaned and knocked on the door and waited…..Nothing happened. Curse the affini and their excellent soundproofing . She was not pressing the lower button, that was unacceptable.
Taking a few steps back, Rosa ran forward and jumped. The tip of her fingers managed to hit the top button with just barely enough force to press it down. A friendly voice could be heard a split second later. “Myrtaca, you got a visitor!” She did not have to wait long for the door to be opened.
The affini who emerged was smiling and then grew confused as there was no one close to her height in front of her. Then she looked down. “Hello! Almost didn’t see you down there. Hold on one moment dear.” The affini looked slightly befuddled as they pressed the lower button.
The voice rang out again. “Myrtaca, there is a cutie who wants to see you!” The two buttons had different sounds? By the stars, the affini were hopeless!
Myrtaca shrugged. “So it does work… how strange. Oh, forgive my manners. Come in, come in.” Rosa pressed her irritation down and smiled as she walked inside. The room and its affini-sized furniture immediately made her feel even smaller. The affini looked down at her with the signature affini adoration. “I am Myrtaca Celia, 5 th bloom, she/her. You must be Veronica’s friend, it’s so nice of you to stop by.”
The mention of Vitoria brought her thoughts back on track. “Yes, indeed. How is she? I would like to talk with her.” Exchanging pleasantries with some affini social worker was not why she was here.
The affini tilted her head to the side, the leaves that flowed along its ‘limbs’ moving gently. “She is doing better now, but her emotional state is still precarious. While your worry is understandable, I can assure you that she is taken care of to the best of my abilities.” It almost sounded like she was more concerned for her than Veronica.
Rosa looked up, straight into the Myrtaca’s eyes. “I don’t doubt it, but I would still like to talk to her. It is not the first time…this situation has occurred, I know how to handle it.” The affini seemed to hesitate for a brief moment before guiding her to one of the doors.
A vine separated from the rest and knocked on the door. “Dear, there is a friend here to see you.” After waiting for a few seconds, the door opened. Veronica was standing in the opening, looking better than Rosa had expected. There were no dark bags under her eyes, or signs of malnourishment, even her hair was brushed. For a moment her heart warmed before she realized it was probably Myrtaca’s doing.
As usual, the girl was fidgeting with the ends of her hair while looking down at the ground. “Oh, hi Rosa…sorry I… haven’t come to any me-“ She was almost inaudible with how much she mumbled.
Rosa took a few steps forward, interrupting the apology. “Hey, that’s fine, nothing to worry about at all. How is it going?” She made sure to express no pity, condescension, or condemnation. Just confidence and reassurance.
Veronica took a breath. Uummm….not great….” A few tears had already started to form in the edges of her eyes. Her breathing was still normal, no anxiety so far.
Rosa took another few steps forward and gently put a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, that’s fine. Everything will be a bit easier after you have told me all about it…Also, I want to see your new room, it looks fancier than mine.” Her chuckle got a genuine smile out from Veronica, her shoulders finally starting to relax.
Veronica looked beyond her, up at the affini staring down at them both. “Is it fine if I talk to Rosa in private?” She had to ask for permission?!
Luckily, Myrtaca simply smiled and nodded. “Of course little one, I will be out here ready to help if there is anything you two cuties need.” It required some concentration to keep a straight face, but at least the affini would stay out.
She and Veronica entered the room, and when the door finally closed Rosa felt a strong need to comment on the ridiculous nature of the situation…But that would only make Veronica more anxious. “The bed looks comfortable, mind if I rest my legs a bit?” Not long after they were both sitting on the edge of the far too large bed.
Veronica looked moderately calm, and more than that she almost seemed comfortable. “So…want to tell me what has happened the last month? I haven’t seen you since you moved.” There was a small bile of guilt in the back of her mind, she should have visited earlier, before all of this happened.
The girl began to fidget again. “I…There was…Everything just…” She moved her arm and Veronica leaned into her. “Sorry…it’s just…After I moved, everything started to fall apart. First I couldn’t sleep and then I didn’t have the energy to make food…I forgot my hormones and class-E…” Rosa began to stroke her hand over Veronica’s hair in long, soothing motions. “All my routines got so fucked up….and all I did was lie in bed….like always.”
It was about what she had expected, but it still hurt to hear. “Stuff like that happens, don’t beat yourself up about it. You have gotten up from this before and you will do so now as well, I know you will. All we need to do is set up some new routines, create a safe space and you will be fine.” It was not going to be easy, but it would work.
Veronica looked down at her lap. “I don’t know….There is always something that fucks it up…I am so tired of this…all of this.” The frustration was mixed with desperation…
Rosa cautiously took her hand and pressed it softly. “It will be different this time. You won’t have complications with your meds, The class-G won’t have any side effects, you won’t need to work some shitty job, or deal with that horrible landlord. Moving was the last big hurdle, I think there will only be small ones from now on.” She really hoped that was true, Veronica had gone through far more than enough already.
Her friend’s eyes moved to the door. “….If I get the chance…They are going to domesticate me, aren’t they?” She wasn’t sure if Veronica was afraid or if it was something else, but it still disturbed her.
She wanted to look Veronica straight in the eyes and say no….but alas. “I don’t know…I am going to talk to them on your behalf, hopefully they will understand that you just need some time. For now, focus on yourself, okay?” The affini would have to understand….
Veronica twitched uncomfortably. “You don’t need to do this….I already fucked up with taking responsibility in the RDM that I couldn’t handle…You shouldn’t be dragged into my problems every time.” The guilt was not unexpected.
But it was unacceptable, she stared into the fidgeting girl’s eyes. “The only reason why I am here is because I want to help, not because I feel I have to. The member list is already fixed so don’t worry about that. You just need to focus on yourself, okay?” She held eye contact until Veronica nodded. “Good, now I know how to cheer you up. Some nice noodle soup should do the trick. Just relax here and I will have it ready in about 15 min.” Rosa stood up from the bed and landed on her feet, giving one last reassuring smile to Veronica before exiting the room.
Myrtaca was sitting in a large chair reading something from a datapad but looked up the moment the door opened. “How did it go?” There was a cheerful optimism in her tone.
Rosa walked up to the replicator. “I have seen her in far worse states, she will be fine. Is it okay if I use your kitchen to make her some food?” Already her mind was layering with the arguments she would need to convince the affini.
Myrtaca moved up to her, her voice uncertain and befuddled. “I suppose…What are you making?” After getting permission Rosa began to compile the ingredients she would need…Including a trap stool for her to stand on.
Honey, soy sauce, oyster sauce, meat, noodles, ginger, garlic, spices; everything needed for a comfort meal. “A noodle soup with marinated meat always cheers her up in times like this. You can help if you want.” The moment she grabbed a knife from one of the drawers Myrtaca became visibly uncomfortable. “Don’t worry, I know how to use it. Practice makes perfect, and I have had a lot of practice.” It was a knife, not a gun.
Myrtaca placed herself next to her and began cutting the garlic. “You have made this meal often?” The affini continued to give some nervous glances down at her hands.
Rosa stifled a groan of irritation. “Yes, I have made this one and a couple of other meals for some friends quite a few times. Comfort food and talk is the first step to getting the energy for improvement….But I suppose you already know that.” Giving an affini social worker tips on how to help people? Now who was being condescending?
Myrtaca did not seem to notice at all, but she did seem worried. “So you help a lot of your friends?” The way she spoke it almost sounded like an accusation.
An accusation she could accept. “I have it pretty easy all things considered, so yeah, I help them out when I can.” Who else were going to do it? Plus, she was already looking forward to seeing Veronica eat the meal. Rosa refocused her mind. “I was told there is a committee that is going to determine if she is going to be forcefully domesticated or not…Please be honest, how does it look?” She started to cut the onion as she spoke.
There was a period of silence before Myrtaca spoke. “From our records, this is not the first time Veronica has suffered from acute executive dysfunction. One of the main problems is that she has difficulty getting help when that transpires. I visited her four times for wellness checks and only on the last time would she let me in. She has also seemed receptive to the structure and order an owner would bring her.” Rosa knew what was coming next. “So all in all, domestication seems like the best alternative for her.” How could she say it so casually?
Sure, Veronica might struggle with stuff from time to time….But removing her freedom, making her a floret? It was far too drastic. Capitalism was gone, there was reas-. “Fuck!” Her hand slipped and she cut one of her fingers with the knife.
The affini was immediately upon her. “Oh dear! Are you okay? I was worried thi-”
“I’m fine! Please…it’s not serious.” Rosa sucked the wound, it tasted iron. While Myrtaca looked at her like she had lopped the finger straight off, she went to the replicator and got a band-aid. As soon as it was applied the minor pain subsided, and it would heal within the hour. The pain was minor in comparison to the damage the cut had done to her pride, proving the overconcerned affini right had not been on her wish list.
Best to change the subject back on track. “If there is a committee meeting, I would like to attend. I have known Veronica for over five years now and helped her through a good deal of struggles. My knowledge should at least be considered.” There was also the fact she would provide every argument against domestication that could be found. She had a suspicion the bias was already leaning the other way, so balancing the scales was only fair.
To her genuine surprise Myrtaca smiled. “That sounds like a good idea, I can send you the info you need later.” Rosa was already dreading the paperwork she would need to do. She could appreciate good bureaucracy, but the affini took it way too far.
At least she would be able to help. “Good, now let’s get this meal ready.” With any luck the affini would be convinced in the end.
--Centhia, North New Bergen, Hyacynthia park, 14.11.2554, 18:06--
Rosa’s hear was filled with pride, the slightly embarrassing situation only a result of success. There had simply been too many people for their old meeting place to accommodate. Luckily the weather was good, and the new local park had made for an excellent replacement. Already they had begun to occupy a great deal of the nearby tables.
At the edge of her vision, she spotted something pinkish red. Tearing her eyes from the impressive attendance she saw Echina and three other affini coming towards the meeting. More affini, that was a boon but would likely require some handling. She strode forward to meet them, to her delight Echina had not seemed to hold a grudge or even be upset when they last met. It was refreshing to meet an affini who was so ready to meet her as an equal, and not some helpless thing to be coddled.
The three newcomers looked curious, so Rosa put on her most welcoming smile. “Hello, welcome! I hope you did not have any problems finding the place.”
Echina smiled back. “Not at all, and what a wonderful idea to have it outside today.” The flowers that grew on her form bloomed fully, it was honestly pretty beautiful. “Allow me to introduce my friends: Alberta, Spirea and Saccharu.” The last referenced affini was holding a sett of containers in her vines.
Saccharu opened one of them, it was full of brownies. “I see you have noticed my little gifts~ I run a bakery not too far from here and when I heard that there was a critical lack of trea-, food during your gatherings I just couldn’t help myself~” Her voice was almost intoxicatedly sweet and cheerful.
Intoxication….Rosa looked at the brownies with a sudden suspicion. “There are no mind-altering chemicals in those, right?” No matter what some people said, class-A brownies was not a productive way to get good ideas.
The reeds on the affini bended and curled in amusement. “Only sugar, but they are not as sweet as you~” Wait, what?! As she felt her face redden from the outrageously cheesy flirt, she saw Echina pull on one of the reeds of the offending affini. “Oh sorry, I forgot you did not like being talked to like that. My deepest apologies.”
She waved her hand dismissively, trying to play it off. “Apology accepted…oh, one last thing. I would kindly ask that none of you speak affini during the meeting.” Even Echina raised an eyebrow at that. “None of us humans have had time to learn the language and it would therefore be quite an exclusionary practice.” The group nodded reluctantly, good. With that handled it was time to start the meeting.
She had already organized the attendees into study groups. So all the was left was to distribute the affini amongst them, remind the affini and some of her fellow humans that no type of drugs were allowed at party meetings and get the discussions started. The different questions and topics had been prepared and after the all the groups were live with debate she retreated to a bench only a few paces away. She casually enjoyed one of the brownies while noting that Kevin and Saccharu were really hitting it off, the easily scared man finally coming out of his shell a little.
A few clouds were gathering but the sun still shone brightly on the park. There had to be at least 80 people if she included the affini, in attendance. Only two months ago she would be happy if there was more than eight. If growth continued at this pace then a reformative meeting would be necessary, just to keep things organized. Rosa took another bite out of the brownie, damn they were good. Perhaps slightly too sweet but still, very, very good.
Echina had left her group and moved towards her, the affini eyeing her with concern. “What is the matter? Tired?” Rosa motioned for the affini to sit down next to her.
It would honestly be nice to talk to Echina, just the two of them. “Not at all, I’m fine. It’s just that by being the most senior member and first secretary I do have a lot of informal power. If the discussion works fine without my involvement, then it is best to lean back and let them have at it without instinctively looking at me for every answer.” The affini might not realize, but Rosa knew her intensity and passion could be intimidating, especially for the newer members.
Echina sat down next to her. “Interesting, might I ask how are you doing? You seem a bit sleep deprived.” Darn, she should have hid the black bags under her eyes with some makeup, if she ever had the energy to use that stuff.
Rosa waved the concern away. “I’m fine, just have a lot of paperwork to do because of a friend I’m helping.” Perhaps it would be best to divert the conversation somewhere else. “Echina, could I ask you a rather strange question? I know you are a scholarly person so perhaps you know.” The affini nodded, a glint of excitement in her eyes. “Okay…has an affini ever been domesticated?”
Echina stared at her with a sly smile. “The Compact is massive and we affini are countless. It is far from common, and it is always a voluntary affair, but yes. I have heard of an affini or two that have been domesticated, not that I know any myself.” The affini chuckled in a beautiful and melodic way.
So in practice the answer was no. “Why only voluntary? If domestication is to safeguard sophonts wellbeing and happiness then why are affini excluded from that side of the arrangement? Unless you would claim that all affini have good mental health, something I hope you will admit is not true.” The chuckling stopped as the affini realized she was being serious.
Echina frowned her brow in thought, or at least that was what she expected the expression to emulate. “I won’t claim that all affini are in a perfect or even good mental state, but there is a difference. We affini are far less fragile both mentally and physically than other sophonts. We live for thousands upon thousands of years and are genetically engineered for our task, our competence is proven.” The arguments were not invalid, but not enough either.
There was another angle of attack. “Alright, but what about the other way around. Has a non-affini sophont ever domesticated another sophont?”
Her sparing partner thought about the question for only a second. “Maybe in a cultural or personal way, but legally? No. Only affini are allowed to have florets. Non-affini can still take care of others, perhaps even approaching the same extent as an owner-floret dynamic, but it can never become as complete or as formal.” There was an obvious follow up question.
“Why? If a sophont could prove they had the expertise, mental health, and ability; Why should they not be able to get a floret?” Part of her wanted to argue that no one should have the right to ‘get’ a floret. They were people, not objects.
Once again it took some time before the answer arrived. “We affini have several advantages that make us the perfect caretakers. Out ability to carry xenodrugs wherever we go, the fact that we can sense other sophonts biorhythm and figure out their mental state and needs based on it, our ability to affect non-affini minds with our biorhythm or eyes, our almost eternal lifespans. All of these factors allow us to care for each and every sophont in a way that non-affini simply can’t emulate. Not to speak of the fact that only an affini core can be the bassline of implants. We affini feel a need to care for sophonts on more than just a cultural basis, it is instinctual. We are the caretakers of the universe, and every part of our society and individual being is for that purpose.” Those were some good arguments, Rosa could not deny that. At the same time, it felt like there was still an undercurrent of cultural indoctrination in those words.
She leaned back. “It strikes me as quite unfair. Why should you affini be the only ones to carry this burden and us non-affini not allowed to share in it?” The separation was not arbitrary, but was it fully justified?
Echina tilted her head to one side while looking down at her. “We affini are happy to carry the ‘burden’ as you call it, to us it is no burden at all. And you non-affini sophonts are happy to be taken care of, that is what millennia upon millennia has shown and proved beyond a doubt.” Historical precedence was no proof that things could not be done better.
Their discussion continued for several more hours until the sun was began to lose its grip on the world around them, a few clouds were beginning to form overhead. Somehow they never ran out of things to talk about, moving from one subject to the next. It was exhilarating to talk with someone of such intellectual curiosity, it satisfied a need Rosa was not sure she had ever found in anyone else.
They were finally interrupted by Kevin and Saccharu coming up to them, and Kevin especially seemed to be in a very good mood. “Rosa, I think it’s time to break up the meeting, some people are already beginning to leave.” He was right, the discussion groups were slowly losing members.
She straightened up and yawned. “Seems I got a bit distracted, have people been having a good time?”
Saccharu answered. “Indeed they have, you are a wonderful collection of terrans~” That was one way to phrase it.
Rosa stood and looked around. “I should head to the office and get the equipment stored, the university building will close soon.” Before she could ask Echina for help, Kevin interjected.
The hints of a blush were in his cheeks. “Actually, I thought I and Saccharu could do it. You shouldn’t have to do the lifting every time.” she was about to protest but then remembered that there was still a lot of paperwork to do at home.
Rosa clasped her hand. “Alright, I’ll head home then. Echina it’s been a pleasure to talk with you.” The affini was smiling and her eyes had taken on a certain golden glow.
Echina stood up as well, once again towering over her. “The pleasure is all mine, you have a wonderfully sharp mind.” Rosa did not care much for compliments on her intelligence, but she felt genuinely happy when hearing that.
She smiled, the last of the sun’s rays warming her face. “And you are a wonderful whetstone to sharpen it against. See you all next Tuesday!” With a final wave Rosa began walking home, a spring in her step. It had been a wonderful meeting.
Once again she decided to walk all the way instead of taking the rail. It was a beautiful day, and she was in no hurry to get home to the paperwork. The movement was growing strong, and while they might not have made any political breakthroughs yet, it was a good start. The affini had also been strikingly easy to handle. How many of them wanted to become members like Echina was unclear, but their attendance was good enough in its own right.
As Rosa reflected on her and Echina’s discussions she noted that the clouds were beginning to look heavy with rain. Sudden, but harmless, shift in weather was one of the side effects that the affini’s environmental restoration had caused. According to CPN it would not last long and it was a small price to pay to remove the smog that had carpeted the city before. She decided to speed up and take a shortcut through an alleyway, getting drenched would not be pleasant.
In the corner of her eye, she noticed that two men were following her into the alley. They were a good deal behind her, but they seemed familiar….Had they been following her from the park? They had, and she had been too deep into fluffy thoughts to notice. Rosa sped up her movement once again, the men did the same.
Fuck! That was not good, an alley such as this was almost always empty, she needed to get to the other side. Quickly!
For some reason the men had not begun to run. Was she just being paranoid? Or had they noticed that she had noticed? Another guy was coming from the other end of the alleyway, if she could get to him and then run she would be safe. Her stalkers seemed strangely relaxed as the distance between them increased…
As Rosa reached the man walking towards her, he spread his arms and blocked the path. “Where are you going? Me and my friends just have some questions about your little meeting in the park.” The words were coated in thinly concealed malice.
She tried to press past him. “I don’t have time fo-“ The man pushed her back and towards the wall, the two others had caught up…She was trapped.
Rosa stood tall and crossed her arms. “What do you want?” This was very, very bad…Hopefully they were only interested in some verbal harassment.
One of the men who had been trailing her smirked. “Oh, we were just wondering if you get off from being a dirty plant-fucker or is every commie faggot like you a traitor by nature?” So they were fascist, ferals, or rebels; whatever you want to call the morons who wanted the Accord back.
Indignation welled up in her throat, this was a bad idea. “I am far more critical of the compact than you might think, but I really don’t have time to talk with a bunch of pathetic losers wallowing in their own toxic masculinity. Let me go or you will regret it.” The men took a step back in surprise.
The rebels had clearly not expected her to return fire, and for a brief moment it looked like they might actually leave. Then one of them looked around and grinned. “looks like there are none of your xeno bastard friends here to save you. I would take a friendlier tone If I were you, or else we might get…unpredictable.” A friendlier tone might in fact be a good idea, her rational and self-preserving side told her to be afraid.
But her tongue was moving faster than her mind. “If you think threats from a group of fascist cowards is going to scare be then you are even stupider than you appear.” They did not react much to being called stupid, but the word coward made the largest one growl.
He took a step forward, lifting a fist. “How dare you call us cowards?! We are the warriors of Terra fighting to retake our world from alien invaders. A shit like you knows nothing of bravery!” He was enraged, and the two others did not look much calmer.
Rosa also took a step forward, for once glad for her height. “Bravery? Don’t make me laugh! We all know your fellow morons with bravery are already collared and domesticated. The only reason you haven’t shared their fate is because you hid inside during the fighting. If you were as brave as you were stupid you would be on your knees worshiping an affini, not that any xenodrugs could make you more emptyheaded tha-” The first punch hit her straight in the stomach.
The air disappeared from her lungs and her body instinctively wanted to keel over. A hand slammed her shoulder against the wall and another punch hit her straight in the yaw. She collapsed on the ground, managing to cover her face just in time to block a kick. The next kick hit her in the ribs, the pain flared like fire with every hit. The world was starting to become blurry, and her mouth tasted of iron.
--Centhia, North New Bergen, Hyacynthia park, 11.02.2555, 21:39--
After Rosa had left, Echina, Saccharu, and Kevin talked for a bit. It was nice to see the terran so free from social anxiety, Saccharu had a powerful talent in making cute sophonts comfortable. Not only that, but Saccharu seemed to have taken a real liking to the boy, no doubt helped by the fact that he was already breathing in match with her friend’s biorhythm.
Before they separated, she noticed that Rosa had forgotten her backpack. That was most unfortunate, the girl probably needed it before the next meeting. “Kevin, could you tell me Rosa’s address, it seems she has forgotten something.”
Kevin pointed in the direction that Rosa had left. “She lives at 31 st , Silveredge Street. There is a shortcut between it and 4 th Hansen Street next to the big café with the purple sign. Just follow the alleyway from there and you might catch up with her…Or not, she is frightful quick when walking alone.” Echina was not too worried, and having an excuse to visit Rosa and see how she lived sounded nice.
After saying her goodbyes to Saccharu and the seed, she followed the direction Kevin had given her. With some slight help from her data pad, she not only found the location of Rosa’s apartment on the map but also the shortcut he had been talking about. It looked like it was going to rain, and while her form looked forward to basked in the hydration her mind was not as content as she looked into the alleyway.
Making her way through the alleyway was uncomfortable, her vines had little space to move, and she practically had to squeeze her form together to not rub against the grey concrete walls. Why had the terrans built these things so close together? Was space that much of a premium, at the very least they co- “How dare you call us cowards?!...........you knows nothing of bravery!” What was that? It sounded like some terrans were having an argument, and a heated one at that.
Another voice echoed from the concrete walls. “Bravery? Don’t make me laugh!.......” Was that Rosa? “Not that any xenodrugs could make you more emptyheaded tha-“ A loud groan of pain interrupted the words…It was Rosa! Echina felt a terror fill her core, was the terran injured?! Her form compressed as she rushed forward.
In only a few seconds she saw the scene: three terrans were attacking Rosa with punches and kicks while she was curled up on the ground trying to protect herself. Her terror was replaced by a protective rage. How dare they!?!
One of the terrans spotted her, but it was far to late. Echina had closed the distance and pined the man to the wall before a needle filled with class-Z entered his arm. The two others had a few seconds of warning, but not nearly enough.
One of the pushed the other towards her before running away. The sacrifice was subdued within a second and she chased after the last one. He stumbled but her vines had coiled around him before he hit the ground. The feral tried to make a plea but her class-Z had already started to spread from the point in his neck where she had pierced him, he fell asleep before speaking a word.
Carrying the terran back she put him on the ground next to the other two, all three of them peacefully sleeping. A soft groan shifted her attention back to Rosa, the anger gone and replaced with a harrowing pain. How could this have happened? Her vines gently picked up the terran, soliciting a confused mumble.
Rosa still seemed to be conscious but was clearly in pain. Echina moved a flower with airborne class-E in front of the girl’s face. “Breathe gently in, you are safe now.” After a few breaths Rosa relaxed into her vines. She allowed the class-E to take full effect before using her vines to check for injuries. Echina gently pried the curled up human open, she was to out of it to offer any resistance. Her inspection found some marks on the girl’s stomach, chest, face, and arms; luckily none of them were severe.
Rain began to fall as she applied some healing sap onto Rosa’s injuries while at the same time contacting the domestication center so they could pick up the ferals. Guilt and pain still filled her core, it was not right that such a sweet girl had to experience something like this. She formed a close-knit ceiling of vines over Rosa and held her tight in her vines.
At some point the affini from the domestication center came and collected the ferals, one of them asked her a few question before turning their attention to Rosa. “Perhaps you should take her to the vet, she should not be alone after such a traumatic experience.” Echina had planned to take her to her own hab, but the vet might be better.
The terran stirred in her vines. “I...I’m fine…” Rosa's voice was slurred, the class-E still present in her system.
The affini from the domestication center looked concerned down at the human. “Ah…I understand little one….” They turned their focus to Echina and spoke in affini <I will leave the matter with you. If she shows any severe signs of short- or long-term trauma please take her to the domestication center so we can help.> After the other affini left Echina began carrying Rosa towards her hab
She had not moved far before Rosa stirred once more. “Wha…where are you…put me down.” Echina did not want to put the girl down, in fact every fiber in her form told her to hold onto the girl for as long as the universe permitted.
Sadly, that time had already come to an end. With a great deal of self-control, she placed Rosa down on the ground. “How are you feeling?” The girl looked far more lucid now and strangely unaffected.
Rosa looked towards the street that would bring her to her own hab. “I’m fine…I don’t mean to sound rude, but I don’t appreciate you giving me xenodrugs or following me.” There was a harsh sternness in her voice.
Echina focused on remaining calm and collected, the terran was obviously not going to react well after what had happened. “I gave you the class-E as you were in shock from both pain and fear. I followed you because you forgot your backpack.” She retrieved it from within her body and handed it to a shameful-looking Rosa.
The girl looked down at the backpack in her hands. “Oh….Thanks…Thanks for saving me as well….Sorry, I….I’ll go home now.” Go home? Alone?
There was no way she was allowing that to happen, Rosa needed to be cared for…It would serve well to be tactful. “Are you sure? You could come to my hab instead, I can make you some food and-”
Rosa did not even let her finish. “no, I’m fine…I just need to get some sleep.” The terran had just been attacked and harassed…There was no way she was fine.
At the same time, it did not seem likely she could convince her to come. “Okay, mind if I follow you home…for my benefit….and to make sure the xenodrugs have properly left your system?”
After a moment of silence, Rosa shrugged. “Alright, it’s not far, but if you want to….” The terran began to walk quickly down the street, and Echina followed right behind her. They walked in silence, the rain pelting down on them, neon signs lighting up the night.
It took them less than 10 minutes to reach the renovated apartment block that housed Rosa’s hab. The roof of the entrance and elevator was tall enough for her to be standing properly. While the building had some aspects from pre-domestication times, the renovations had made it an acceptable place to live. Echina had to admit she was excited to see Rosa’s hab, one’s home could tell a lot about a sophont.
A drizzled Rosa spoke as she opened the door. “Here we are, my base of operations.” Echina lowered herself to look through the doorway.
The hab was remarkably small, even by terran standards. The main room was a tiny kitchen with a small place to eat and exactly one chair. An open door on the other side showcased the bedroom. It was not much larger and contained a human-sized bed, a desk filled with paper, and an office chair. The only other door except the one she was looking through now was slightly ajar, she could see a standard bathroom inside. There were few to no decorations except some posters hanging on the white walls in the kitchen.
All in all, the entire hab could fit within her living room twice. Was this where Rosa lived? It looked so empty…she had called it her ‘base of operations’… “Oh, you have several habs?” There was nothing wrong with that, maybe she had somewhere more permanent and out of the way.
Rosa looked up at her, clearly confused and very tired. “No…this is my home.” The terran looked down at the ground and scratched the back of her head, her voice bashful. “Sorry for being a jerk back there…And thanks for following me home, but I am fine now…I need to get some sleep, see you on Tuesday.” Flashing a half-hearted smile the terran walked inside.
Every instinct in Echina’s body told her to follow the girl in, make her some food, and comfort her…But no. Rosa had clearly stated her presence and she did not seem more than ruffled by the day’s events. She smiled back at the terran. “If you need anything or just need to talk, don’t hesitate to send me a message. Good night~” Rosa nodded, though Echina doubted she would receive any messages. Then the door closed, and the hallway went quiet. The rain could still be heard pouring down outside.
Chapter 3: Crimson sunset
Notes:
CW: Violence, blood
Chapter Text
--Centhia, North New Bergen, Domestication Center 4C, 25.01.2555, 15:44--
The domestication center had the unique quality of being both overly cutesy and intimidating at the same time. It was designed in a way that made it almost too friendly, like a flesh-eating plant luring its victim in with a sweet smell before devouring it. That was the distinct feeling Rosa felt as she walked through the small park area surrounding the Domestication Center.
There was, as to be expected, plenty of florets and their respective affini owners lounging around. Some humans had the characteristic gray metal collars or armbands that signified warship status. The amount of wardships that did not end in domestication was frightfully low, at least she could do her part to make that statistic a bit better.
Rosa shivered as she entered the maw of the beastly building and walked up to the reception, trying to ignore the mass of doped-up florets cuddling in a corner. The reception itself had a staircase up to a platform, so one could actually see over the counter without being three to four meters tall. The affini manning the reception spotted her. “Hello there cutie, what can I do for you today?~” Rosa stifled a groan, the word ‘cutie’ should have been abolished.
After masking her irritation to the best of her abilities, she greeted the affini. “Rosa Tordenberg, I’m here for a meeting.” The receptionist nodded and typed away on the computer. Their face turned to shock, then horror, before a worried smile settled as the baseline expression.
The affini’s voice sounded relieved and welcoming. “I’m so glad you finally decided to come, I can have a psychologist session for you within 10 minutes….I am so sorry you had to go through something like that. Don’t worry, we will make it all better.” What in the stars were they talking about?...Oh, right. Rosa remembered the dozen messages she had received after the incident with the rebels two weeks back, messages she had promptly deleted.
Rosa shook her head. “No, I am not here for therapy. I am here to attend a committee meeting concerning a sophont named Veronica.” The relief present in the affini’s expression dissipated as they looked at the monitor.
They looked back down at her with clear concern. “Yes…it is on floor 10, meeting room B3….Would you like a session after the meeting? Or perhaps some relaxation treatment, you look quite stressed and tired.” She had not gotten enough sleep lately, that part was at least true.
Rosa scoffed. “No, thank you. And I would be far less tired if I did not have to do all that paperwork. It’s excessive, that’s what it is.” The affini looked downright horrified.
They were in complete disbelief. “You did all of the paperwork? On your own? And no one offered to do it for you?” Of course, they had, during every part of the process at least one affini had offered, in the most condescending way possible, to do the paperwork for her. Like she could trust them to handle it right, or that she would ever play into their stereotypes of humans being too incompetent to do anything for themselves.
She had gotten the room, this conversation had run its course. “I can do it perfectly well myself, good day.” Rosa jumped down from the platform and headed for the elevators. She could feel the worried gaze from the affini on her back.
The elevator ride up was luckily empty, a brief respite from the affini. She took the time to brace herself for the meeting and go through the arguments, one by one. She could not fail Veronica, the girl deserved so much more than being domesticated against her will. The ride up did not last nearly long enough, and the meeting would start in less than five minutes….She really should have gotten some more sleep.
As Rosa walked down the hallway a door to her left opened and a human scrambled out. “No, please….don’t…please.” He desperately pressed himself against the wall, eyes full of fright, tears, and desperation.
An affini came out the door, moving slowly towards the human. “There is no reason to be sacred, I will take very good care of you.” The human looked around desperately and their eyes met. Before he could even call out for help the affini had closed the distance and a needle had pierced his arm.
Rosa could only stand and watch in utter shock as the fear slowly died in the human’s eyes and he fell asleep. The vines picked him up and into a tight, constricting embrace. “Shhhh, everything is going to be okay.”
The affini lifted her gaze and noticed her, Rosa took a step back, her instincts telling her to run. A non-threatening smile spread on the affini’s face. “Oh, I am so sorry you had to see that. Don’t worry, he will be all well and happy in not too long.” To Rosa that sounded more like a threat than anything else.
She collected herself and pushed past the affini, this was not the time to be distracted. The terrifying scene played in her mind twice over before she reached the meeting room. The entire committee was already there when she entered, and as one might assume they were all affini. She recognized Myrtaca, but the others were complete strangers. One said stranger stood up and greeted her, extending a vine. “Hello little one, you must be Rosa. We were just about to start.” She shook the vine and looked for a place to sit.
To her genuine surprise and relief, there was a chair tall enough for her to reach over the affini-sized table, at least the others had shown some consideration. Getting onto the chair was a bit more difficult than it had any right to be, but she got up before one of the affini could ask if she needed help.
The conversation around the table stopped and the affini who greeted her started the meeting. “Now that we are all in attendance. Myrtaca, could you explain the basis of the wardship and your current assessment?” Rosa took up the paperwork she had prepared for the meeting and prepared herself.
Myrtaca nodded and shot her a welcoming smile. “The wardship started 22 days ago after it was determined that Veronica was not in a state to be responsible for her own wellbeing. The main causes for this were acute executive dysfunction, depression, and social anxiety. Before the wardship, several wellness checks were made to her hab, most were turned away, likely due to the aforementioned anxiety. When the warship started Veronica was malnourished, sleep deprived, experiencing high amounts of anxiety and dysphoria.” The affini made a brief pause.
It did not look good, but the affini would be convinced. Myrtaca continued. “The situation has been rectified and Veronica is now in much better health, both mentally and physically. As for my assessment, I think she would benefit greatly from having an owner, the structure and relief it gives her has been very important for improving her situation. If she is not domesticated I am afraid there is a high likelihood of her condition worsening, as her psychological history shows.” That last statement could not be allowed to stand unchallenged.
Rosa signaled with her hand before speaking. “I would disagree with that last part. With the Accord gone, there is no reason for her condition to worsen. The oppressive, stressful, and exploitative nature of the accord has been the main trigger after all.” The affini around the table looked at her, seemingly surprised.
Myrtaca was the exception. “I mostly agree but we can’t rule out that factors like personal relationships, disappointment from failed projects, or other disruptions to her life could cause it.” The benevolent but clinical way of speaking was slightly disturbing. Rosa almost felt dirty for sitting here and discussing Veronica’s fate, even if she was on the right side it was still an overreach.
Still, it was for the greater good. “But you can't domesticate her just because you can’t rule it out. Every person has a chance of getting worse, would you domesticate me just because of that chance?” It was absurd.
One of the affini smiled at her. playfully “Would you like us to?” What the?!
A tiny bit of rage built up in her mind. “Of course not. More to the point, Veronica’s freedom is worth more than the potential risk of struggle.” Was that really up for debate?
The affini continued to smile. “That depends. Myrtaca, has Veronica shown any signs of not wanting to be domesticated?”
Myrtaca shook her head with a slight smile on her face. “No, I have asked her two times. During both, she showed no signs of being resistant to the idea.”
Rosa felt her stomach tighten. “Have you not considered that she might be afraid of you?”
Myrtaca almost looked shocked, a few flowers wilting at her words. “Afraid? What makes you think that?” How was that not obvious?
This was beginning to become frustrating. “Because you are a 3-and-a-half-meter tall alien that abducted her from her home and is threatening to domesticate her?” The entire committee was now looking at her in surprise.
Myrtaca shook her head defiantly. “Well, I can guarantee that is not the case. Veronica and I have shared many tender moments, and I would easily be able to discern if she was afraid from her biorhythm. Even if this does not end with domestication, we would be close friends.” She spoke so earnestly that it was almost believable.
The way she spoke revealed something, Rosa paused for a second. “Excuse me…just to clarify. If this ends in domestication…Who will end up becoming her owner?” The answer was there….but no….it couldn’t be.
The committee leader answered. “Myrtaca has already filed a notice of intent for Veronica's domestication. If the committee comes to the conclusion that domestication is best, she will become Veronica’s owner.” It was insane!
Rosa almost stood up from her chair. “Does that not create a huge conflict of interest? How can we know Myrtaca is telling the truth?!” She immediately realized she had stepped over the line.
Myrtaca sounded legitimately hurt. “I would never lie. All I want is that Veronica lives the best life she can.” The gazes of the other affini were upon her, from surprised to concerned.
The committee leader spoke in a calm but authoritative voice. “Rosa, calm down. We understand that you care about your friend, but I cannot accept such outbursts. Furthermore, it would be unacceptable and unprecedented for a caretaker to lie for their own benefit.” Rosa sank back into the chair…it was hard to determine what felt worse, the affini gazing concerned at her…or the tinge of fear of what that concern might provoke.
The rest of the meeting went by in rapid and calm order, mostly because Rosa kept quiet with only a few exceptions. She could not deny that there were some grounds for domestication, from the affini perspective that was, but it was still a massive overreach. With the experience of many committee meetings in her past, she could feel it beginning to wind down. If any last input was to be given it had to be now.
Rosa cleared her throat. “Is domestication not a rather….drastic measure? While there is a chance, maybe even a moderate possibility that Veronica might struggle in the future, is that enough to take away her freedom?”
One of the affini answered, he sounded moderately confused. “But Veronica has shown to not thrive in a domesticated state. If being ‘free’ as you put it does not benefit her wellbeing then why value it? or are you claiming that freedom has some inherent quality so that it should be maintained, even if she suffers?” That was not…
Rosa stuttered. “I…well….I suppose….Yes?” Personal freedom was vital, but the way the affini described it almost made it sound inconsequential to take away.
The committee leader frowned. “The only goal of this committee is to ensure the wellbeing of the sophont Veronica. Veronica has not shown a great want for ‘freedom’ and possessing it is not productive for her wellbeing.” The other affini nodded. “I think that there is little more to discuss, if the committee agrees we can start the vote.” This had not gone well….even if the committee’s recommendation was unfavorable, maybe she could still argue against domestication later.
After shuffling through some paper, the committee leader spoke. “The proposal as it stands is that the human sophont Veronica is to undergo immediate domestication. All members are fa-“ That could not be right!
Rosa interrupted. “Hold on! Is this committee making the decision? Not just a recommendation to a representative body?”
One of the affini answered. “No, the decision will be voted on now…Is there a problem?” How could they not see the problem?
“You are all affini! That’s the problem. There should at least be an equal part of human members.” The affini looked at her and then at each other.
The committee leader’s vines were moving impatiently. “All committee members are here voluntarily, there are no terrans because no terrans in the bureaucracy signed up. I also do not understand what an equal representation would change.” That much was obvious. Probably no humans in the bureaucracy could sign up.
Rosa raised herself in the chair. “Because you have a strong bias towards domestication. Stars! Some days it seems like you would be content if all of us were your pets.” Keeping her frustration down was becoming more impossible by the second.
The affini scoffed. “I will not entertain that kind of feral argumentation here, if you have a disagreement with the committee’s decision you can make a request for inquiry or appeal.” From the words alone it was clear as day that those requests would be denied.
Myrtaca interrupted before she could retort, sounding calm. “Why don’t we give Rosa the right to partake in the vote? She is a very dear friend of Veronica.” A concession of no value, her vote would not matter at all.
Rosa jumped down from the chair. “I will not take part in this reprehensible process!” She would not sign off on the loss of Veronica’s freedom. Even the sight of the committee had begun to turn her stomach, so the wall became her new object of inspection.
The committee leader sighed. “Mhm, all-in favor? All opposed?......” There was a brief silence. “The decision is unanimous. Congratulations Myrtaca, I am sure you will both be very happy.” Failure…she had failed Veronica….not in something minor, not something insignificant. She had promised that things would be fine and now….
Pain and anger grew in tandem, how could she have let this happen!? The air was becoming suffocating, she needed to get out of here. Rosa headed for the door, but somehow Myrtaca was already standing there. “I know you’re upset but if you come to my hab and tal-“
Rosa shoved the affini aside. “Out of my way, weed!” With her feeble strength there was no chance of moving the affini even a centimeter, but despite this Myrtaca recoiled. The sound of Rosa’s stomping feet echoed against the hallway walls. The button to the elevator was pressed so hard her finger bended painfully…
As the door opened Rosa stormed in, noticing too late it was already occupied. A tall rose covered affini stared down at her, pitying concern in its eyes. “Hi there little one. You look quite stressed, maybe…” A single deadly glare was all that was needed for the affini to become silent. As soon as the door’s opened Rosa was out and headed for the exit. In her peripheral vision she saw the affini at the reception reach out for her — the gesture was ignored.
Keeping her eyes on the ground, Rosa made her way out of the park. During one of the rapid glances upwards she saw the pair she had encountered right before the meeting. The human who had been so frightened before was now peacefully lying in the affini’s lap while being petted, a smile on his face….Something about the display made her feel ill.
Out on the street Rosa decided to walk to the RDM meeting instead of taking the rail. She needed her mind to settle, but it stubbornly refused to do so. Every floret and affini that walked by stirred the fire in her core. How many of the florets had decided to end up like that? How had the sight of a person without freedom become something she could tolerate? Or worse, not even react with more than a shrug.
Dark clouds had started to converge overhead. Rosa took a few deep breaths. This would all be fine. Maybe Veronica would be happy as a floret…like she would have a choice. Regardless, there was nothing else to be done. The RDM meeting would be nice, and after that a nice and long shower…At least the paperwork was over. There was still work organizing the RDM but that would come tomorrow, but tonight she would get some early sleep.
When Rosa finally arrived, the meeting was already in full action. They had acquired a much larger meeting room, plenty of tables filled with humans and affini alike. As she admired the view, Kevin and Saccharu stood up from their group and came towards her. Kevin seemed very excited for some reason. “Hi Rosa, I was afraid that you wouldn’t make it. How did the meeting about Veronica go?” There was something around his neck…
Rosa suddenly felt dizzy. “Ummm, not that good…What’s…What’s with the collar?” Why, by the stars, did he have a collar?
Kevin beamed and a vine from Saccharu was placed on his shoulder. “Well….Me and Saccharu signed the contract yesterday….I’m her floret now.” Oh….
How even…. “You two met only a couple of weeks ago…How did you decide so quickly?” It was clearly not the response Kevin had expected.
The newly made floret looked rather embarrassed. “I had already kind of considered it before….And after that first meeting me and mistress spent a lot of time together and…Well, one thing led to another.” How had she not noticed this development before now?
Rosa faked a smile. “Congratulations. I need to relax a bit, so I’ll join a table…Talk to you two later.” She stumbled past the pair and found a table, telling herself that all of today would make sense after some sleep.
As Rosa sat down in one of the empty chairs the attention of the humans and the two affini fell upon her. “Don’t worry about me, what are you discussing?” An interesting debate might also be nice.
One of the affini smiled at her. “Hi there cutie, we were told to pick a subject for ourselves…” Right, she had not had time for that yesterday. “…So we choose to discuss the benefits of domestication upon mental health of-”
Was this affini serious? “Really? The benefits of domestication? You don’t think we get enough of that from your propaganda? There are so many more pressing discussions to be had.” Usually, a more diplomatic tone was available to her, not today.
The other affini tilted her head. “There is no need to get upset little one, we can discuss something else if you want.” Thank the stars, the affini turned to the other <……………> and began speaking in affini.
Rosa gave her best disapproving look. “Hey, no affini during the meeting. Ok?” They were probably new, she was not good with names but affini were rather distinct and memorable.
The first affini tilted her head a few degrees to the right. “Oh it is nothing for you to worry about, what did you want to talk about?” Indignation welled up, mixing with the recently dormant rage.
The affini could talk down to her everywhere else, but not here. “No, you will not talk affini during these meetings. Speak so we all can understand it or say nothing at all!” Her authority here would not be questioned.
The second affini leaned forward, her ‘neck’ extending. “All I said was that based on your mood and appearance, discussing domestication might be to your benefit. Something your outburst has proven to be correct.” Whatever offense the affini had taken at her words could not hope to match hers.
Rosa stood up so fast the chair fell backwards and slammed into the ground. “GET OUT!” The imminent direction of the two aliens clearly indicated by her pointing finger. The countless eyes upon her did not matter. This was her space, built through years of effort, a place for her to be comfortable, nothing would be allowed to ruin it.
It was palpable that the affini had never received a direct order from a human before, they sat there for a few seconds in utter shock. Rosa heard something, vines moving along the ground….and a familiar rhythm in the air. The first affini looked hopefully at the person who had come from behind. “Do you know this terran? Perchance you could help her calm down?” The arrogance, the audacity! If stares could kill then the affini would be smoldering ash.
Echina placed a careful hand on her shoulder. “Is everything okay?” If the affini could feel her mood as they claimed that question had no reason to exist.
Rosa shoved the hand of her shoulder. “Everything is going to be fine as soon as these two vacate the premises.” Her voice was low but far from calm.
The scholar crouched down, still over a head taller than her. “Maybe we should all calm down, take a few slow bre-“
“No! I have every reason to be upset! There is no need for me to be calm. Especially not if it is to satisfy how you want me to behave. Now you two, LEAVE!” The frustration from six months of condescension, ridicule and domineering treatment came to the surface all at once.
Rosa gazed over the gathering, all eyes, both human and affini were on her. How could she have been so naïve to think that the affini could be discussed into better action. They didn’t respect her, they respected none of them. Like snakes in the garden, they were only here to acquire the only thing they truly cared for, their precious subjugated ‘pets’…Subjugation, a much more fitting word, humanity was not cattle to be tamed, it was a population to be subjugated and controlled.
Echina was suddenly in front of her. “Rosa, I don’t know what is going on, but you need t-“ Rosa slapped the approaching hand away.
The exhaustion was gone, engulfed in a righteous fury. “I don’t need to do anything! I welcomed you in with the hope that we could share a common goal, but it seems now I was wrong. This organization is made to be a vehicle for improving society, not some affini dating arena. You affini are nothing but hegemonic imperialists, you care nothing for our opinions or our values!” Freedom, self-determination, individuality, it was nothing to the compact and its monstrous bureaucracy.
Echina pulled back, her voice full of discord. “You sound like a feral….” Flowers wilted as regret entered Echina’s eyes. “rot, I didn’t me-” It was far too late.
The rage blossomed tenfold. “How dare you compare me to those fascists! The only thing more imperialist than the accord, is the compact itself. Sure, you don’t want resources…you want people. You might seem benevolent, but you are just as authoritarian as the old regime ever was! The main difference is that at least the accord was obvious in its oppression, The compact is far more insidious.” Humanity was like a frog put in a pot, slowly brought to boil. If nothing was done the current state of affairs would be accepted and there would never be any hope of challenging it.
Not on her watch, ignoring the stunned and hurt Echina, Rosa clapped her hand. “The open part of this meeting is over! All members, with their political rights intact, may stay for a reformative meeting.” Open discussion? What a naive idea. The affini would never listen unless they were shouting, so shouting is what they would get.
While people began to filter out, all of the affini amongst them, Kevin came up with a distressed expression. “What is going on? And what do you mean ‘political rights’?” His new owner was trailing right behind.
Rosa turned to him. “You made the decision to become a floret, and I genuinely hope you find happiness with it. But you signed away your rights along with that, a consequence you will have to live with. When we decide how to fight for a better future, it is a decision made by those who will live with that future, not those who have signed theirs away. Stars, I don’t think I can even legally give you a vote.” Kevin almost looked ready to cry as Saccharu shielded him from her with a curtain of vines.
Echina’s voice was calm but full of discord. “I take it you want me to leave?” The rage wanted her to say yes, to dismiss all of them.
The guilt from seeing the affini hurt was already great enough. “You’re a member and you have your untouchable rights, do what you want.” Rossa turned away and walked towards where the remainders had gathered, it was almost half the amount from when the meeting started…but there was still hope.
--Centhia, South New Bergen, Bureaucratic Center 94-P, 07.03.2555, 12:17--
Echina moved down the street between the massive bureaucratic centers. Tall spires of impressive architecture, even by affini standards. She noted that maybe it was because the terran structures were already so tall, and her people needed to prove they could build even taller, to assert some sort of vulgar dominance.
Rosa’s words and critiques had obviously affected her, though it felt more like she was understanding a perspective, not having her mind changed. Domestication was still good, and Rosa’s critiques had done little to undermine it…Hopefully the girl was doing okay. It had been over a month since she had seen her, and a strong part wanted to visit her to make sure she was safe. Echina pressed the concern down as far as possible, Rosa had made it very clear she wanted no such thing.
Something red caught the corner of her vision, a poster glued onto one of the mighty walls. Sheer curiosity compelled her to approach and read it. “Resist subjugation! Make your voice heard!” Was written in bold square letters at the top. On the bottom beneath there was more. “Join the gathering and protest march at Genus University coming Tuesday!” The logo of the red dawn movement separated the text. It was far from the first of these posters she had seen, they were spread all around the city.
Its existence and messaging were also why she was in this part of the city, the RDM had caught the awareness of the protectorate bureaucracy. As the affini with the best understanding of the movement she had been called in for a committee meeting. A committee to assess the threat the movement may pose, in Echina’s opinion it was far too early to be concerned but the other affini had been rather adamant.
Entering the spacious locale of one building, Echina could at least appreciate space built for her size. The elevator up to the 96th floor was positioned so that its glass walls gave an impressive view of the city that slowly shrunk below her. The gray city stretched out for kilometers without end, even at this altitude she would not see its borders. The gray sea was intermittently interrupted by sparkling and colorful affini architecture, like flowers emerging from beneath concrete.
According to the introductory briefing the city housed over 880 million humans and 180 million affini, it was a staggering amount. While resource centralization was efficient and therefore common across interstellar history, very few sophonts committed to such extreme urbanization. A newly released research paper she had read speculated that it was a consequence of Terran's psychological need for companionship.
The elevator came to a stop and after looking out upon the city for a few more seconds, Echina walked towards the meeting room. Part of her was anxious. While the committee would surely act in the best interest of the terrans, the question of what that would mean for Rosa was concerning. Waiting in the hallway outside of the meeting room she spotted an old friend. “Myrtaca, didn’t expect to see you here. How have things been?”
The xeno-welfare officer smiled, pride underlying her words. “It has been very good, I recently found myself the most adorable little floret in the galaxy. I simply must show you some pictures later. Speaking of, have you had any luck yourself?” Myrtaca sounded carefree and happy, the slithering vines of envy tried to get its hold on Echina’s mind.
Echina shook her head. “No, I have been focusing on other matters. Maybe soon but I need to find the right one first…Oh it seems the meeting is about to begin, let’s head inside.” The conversation had brought her mind back to Rosa once more, so cutting it short was a relief.
Three minutes after they had sat down, the last member of the committee entered. A large, stout and bark covered affini started the meeting. “This committee has the objective to analyze the threat that the Red Dawn Movement poses to sophont wellbeing and formulate a suitable response. Head investigator Reliz, please give your report on the organization.”
The voice of the Security officer was hushed and deep. “From our intel the organization changed course in their messaging and approach about a month ago. Their propaganda has become far more anti-compact in nature and their agitation more radical. A few days ago, a speech was held in a park of city sector 21, and we estimate around 300 terrans sophonts showed up. Our analysis of overnet activity shows that the movement is gaining momentum fast.” And Rosa was in the middle of it all, with any luck the girl would stay safe…Echina was not happy with having to base something so important on luck.
The barked affini’s leaves shook and wilted. “You stated in your preliminary report that the movement seems to be built up around a terran named Rosa. Echina, from your personal experience with the sophont…is there a chance she is harboring feralist ideology or sympathies?” If the situation had not been so serious she would likely have chuckled at the suggestion.
Echina made sure to sound as confident as possible. “Impossible, I have yet to meet someone who holds those ideas in less regard. Her concerns might be misguided, but I am sure she does not want anyone hurt.” The investigator nodded affirmatively.
The committee leader’s mood did not improve. “Even if she has good intentions, things like this can easily get out of hand. Myrtaca, Rosa lives in your area of jurisdiction. How would you describe her mental and physical state?” So that was why she was here, what a pleasant coincidence.
Myrtaca’s voice took on a deeply concerned quality. “So far there has not been enough reason to give her a wellness check, her health during the last two checkups was fine. Last time I encountered her however she showed severe signs of stress, overwork, and sleep deprivation. There were also notable feral leanings to her behavior.”
The bark made a cracking sound as the committee leader leaned forward. “Would you say that this is grounds for domestication, or a temporary wardship?” What…This felt far too quick.
Her friend’s voice was tainted with the same confusion. “Not at the moment, at least no before a wellness check can be performed…” There was some slight hesitation. “Are you suggesting to have her domesticated so she can’t lead the movement?” It was the same question that had formed in her mind.
The accusation did not offend them in the slightest. “Yes, she is the lynchpin of the whole organization. If she is removed, permanently or temporarily, the movement will crumble and dissipate. Securing stability and preventing violence needs to be our first priority.” That seemed…Rosa would have used the word authoritarian for sure.
The xeno-psychologist spoke for the first time. “If the movement gets larger and more volatile it will have a serious negative impact on the human population, as many of them suffer from CPTR.” She must have noticed the confused glances. “CPTR, or Centhian political trauma response, is a sad bioproduct of the volatile and violent nature of this planet’s history. The mental wounds that their old society has left them with need to heal, not ripped open.”
Echina shook her head, this was not acceptable. “They have the right to protest if they are discontented. There are no signs of violent intent, or harmful practices. I suggest we try to negotiate with the organization concerning some of the demands they have submitted.” A few of the demands were not that unreasonable and could probably be accepted without any negative repercussions.
Relitz, the investigator nodded. “First, I agree with Echina. Secondly, removing Rosa from her pack leader position is such a way might strengthen and enrage the movement. Terrans can become very passionate when joining together for common goals, and without Rosa guiding it….I am afraid you would only get more volatility and potential violence.”
The committee leader seemed distant for a few seconds. “Negotiating with the RDM will only embolden its most radical supporters. This movement will get out of vine no matter what we do, better that we contain it before it grows too much. Rosa might lead the movement for now, but once it gets going she won’t be able to stop it. None of you were here during the preliminary domestication of this planet, if you were you would understand how dangerous instability can be…And the potential threat the terrans pose to themselves.” There was a deep pain in their biorhythm as they spoke.
The psychologist broke through the emerging silence. “I propose we put Rosa into a wardship until the situation has passed. Let’s put it to a vote. All in favor?” The committee leader and the psychologist’s vines reached into the air. “all opposed?” Three vines from her, Myrtaca, and the investigator were raised.
The committee leader sighed. “The proposal falls, I guess we shall wait and see. If there are no objections I will establish a task force to handle this mess when it inevitably comes to that. The negotiation idea might placate some casual supporters, so we can try. But I doubt enough of the proposals can be accepted in a way the movement will be content with.” That was at least something, Echina relaxed her tensed-up vines.
While the rest of the meeting went by without any difficulties, her concern for Rosa had only increased. The possibility of danger befalling her was highly disturbing. The want to protect the cute sophont was almost overpowering. She reminded herself that Rosa was strong and capable, she could take care of herself…Right?
--Centhia, North New Bergen, Genus University lecture hall 1-A, 28.03.2555, 12:17--
The air in the massive lecture hall was choked, that or the exhaustion was making it difficult to breathe again. Both were likely explanations, 1-A was the largest of the lecture halls and could contain over two thousand people. At this point, the seats were already full and more people were still arriving, the work she had put in had paid off.
The work had cost her, she had not been this exhausted since the days of the old student protests of 51. Those days the work had seemed easier, things had seemed simpler…and worse. Letting nostalgia cloud her judgment was probably not a good idea, at least the compact would not send garrison enforcers crashing through doors or meet them with a line of shock batons. The affini might be obstinate and hegemonic, but they were not cruel…At least not on purpose.
For a brief moment she scanned the crowd…no sign of Kevin, Echina, or any affini for that matter. It should not have disappointed her as it did. After how she had treated them…It was only right. Rosa pushed the thoughts down. This was not a time for self-pity, there was a cause to work for. That needed to take priority, always.
She stepped onto the podium and the room went silent. With the masses’ eyes on her, the exhaustion was forgotten. “Welcome everyone, I am glad that you have all decided to join us for this important protest. Before we head out onto the streets and make our voices heard, we need to know what we are fighting for.” If there were enough people shouting, the affini would have to listen.
The attention of the audience was wrapped. “While the new world we now live in has many advantages, we must not let these distract us from its glaring flaws. The most pressing problem, the one I am sure has brought many of you here today, is domestication. The way it is practiced today, especially when it is done forcefully, is highly problematic.” The tone and force of her voice rose and fell in a powerful rhythm, affirmative shouting and clapping gave her a second to pause.
It was strange how easy and fun it was to speak before a mass of people, compared to how difficult it could be to talk in small unorganized settings. “Today the practice of forceful domestication is used far too liberally. Not every societal ill can be solved with domestication, and neither should it. The two main reasons for forceful domestication, being a threat to oneself or to others, are far too harsh. If someone struggles, the main goal should be to help them recover. Domestication should only be used as a last and final means when all else has failed, not the first course of action!” The half-planned, half-improvised words rang out across the speakers, applause consuming the room a split second later.
The energy of the speech drove her onwards. “And those that have proven to be a danger to others, should they not be given the chance at rehabilitation before having their freedom taken away? Even those employed in the navy sent to fight the affini during the war, how many of them had any choice or the knowledge to make the right one? Should they have been domesticated in such high numbers? NO!” The deafening sound of the masses was almost overwhelming, luckily the exhilaration was more powerful than the overstimulation.
The speech continued, with the audience sometimes interrupting her before she had even finished. The exhaustion was slowly returning…She would have to relax during the protest later…And probably get to bed before 3 am. The renewed silence meant her break was over. “This is why biorhythms need to be suppressed, even well-meaning affini can unintentionally manipulate humans in their vici-” The sound of shouting from the top right of the hall interrupted her. “As I was sayi-“ another shout…It sounded like the disagreement had turned into a scuffle.
How annoying. “Excuse me for a moment.” Rosa turned off the microphone and with long rapid steps made her way towards the source of the disturbance. It did not take too long for her to see the two culprits, one woman and an affini…It was Saccharu, Kevin’s owner. The two looked aggressively at each other, the surrounding people moving to give her access.
Before they could launch another salvo of words Rosa came between them, her arms indicating both of them to stand further apart. “What in the stars are you two doing?” It had already been a long day, they better have a good reason for making it longer.
The woman was the first to answer, the disgust was dripping from her words. “I just told this weed and her pet that they were not welcome.” What the-
Before Rosa could formulate a response Saccharu bit back, the affini was unusually agitated. “You threatened my floret!” oh stars…Kevin was there, safely protected behind the affini’s vines.
Rosa turned to the woman, de-escalation was probably the smart move…but. “How dare you threaten a member? Explain yourself.”
The woman looked surprised like she had expected her to be supportive. “I…We can’t work against them if they are watching us. Xenos should have no place here.” Reactionary garbage.
What a waste of oxygen. “We are not here to resist them, we are here to build a better society WITH them. Affini are more than welcome, they are wanted. We are not trying to rebuild the Accord.” With the final words said she dismissed the woman with a hand gesture.
She turned to Kevin, a tinge of hope in her heart. “Are you okay? I'm sorry for-” The sudden fear in his eyes alerted her a second too late.
“You plant-fucking traitor!” Rosa turned in time to see the woman pull something out of her jacket and then-
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Something hit her chest with terrible force, knocking her backward, off balance, and sending her tumbling down the stairs. She stopped as her head slammed into one of the walls, the pain spiking through her body. What had just happened?
Her sight was blurry and her hearing unfocused. Still, she could hear screams and see people rushing in all directions. As her head began to recover from the blow, the pain beginning to dull, her mind tried to refocus. Had someone been hurt? She needed to make sure people were safe.
Rosa tried to get up, but her hand slipped on something wet beneath her. Strange…she hadn’t noticed any liquid spillage on the way up. A person was moving towards her, even if they were just a blur it was clear they were concerned. Rosa gestured with her hand. “I’m fine, please help someone else first.” The person took a step back.
She inspected her hand, it was covered in something red…What? Her mind felt terribly dull, like every thought was being pulled through syrup. Drying the hand on her shirt only revealed that her shirt had become wet as well. There was something terribly wrong.
The corner of her vision was becoming dark.
Another person came towards her, it was taller than the other, greener as well. Rosa made one final attempt to get up, but her body almost didn’t react at all. The tall green person reached out and if her limited sight was to be believed, it touched her. She felt nothing…The darkness was encroaching on all sides, and the world had gone silent a few seconds ago.
Her attempt at speech was feeble. “I’m…fi...” For some reason, the words would come out…her mind slowed to a crawl, everything felt so numb, and the darkness became total…Perhaps it would be good to get some rest.
Chapter 4: Lonely evening
Notes:
CW: depression
Chapter Text
--Centhia, East New Bergen, Lilly Veterinarian Clinic, 29.03.2555, 11:49--
The world slowly began to come into focus, the gentle light and white colors becoming more distinct. Her mind was still working far too slowly for her liking. It felt like she had been sleeping for an entirety while also just waking from a bad nap. As her senses grew more focused a new set of colors came into view, green and yellow in the rough shape of a person.
There was a small sting in her left arm and the world suddenly made sense again. The affini towering over her had a gentle smile on her face. "Good morning sunshine~ Try to take it slow, you are safe and there is no rush.” The voice was so soothing and the yellow flowers blooming on its form were very beautiful….
Hold on….Where was she? Who was this? What had happened? Rosa attempted to remember the answer to any of these critical questions…but her mind was still far too disorganized and confused. Her eyes searched the room, it was mostly white and filled with a gentle light. There were a few pictures of cute animals and some large potted plants. She was lying down, in a bed, a rather large and soft one at that. None of these facts answered anything at all, except that the room and the affini were entirely unfamiliar, though there was something about the melody in its voice that sounded familiar….
Even if embarrassing it might be a good idea to ask, She had yet to meet an affini that did not want to help. Before Rosa could speak the affini stopped her. "I can see you are confused, but before I answer any questions you need to drink.” A glass of water was brought to her lips and with some reluctance, she drank. Something out of sight scratched her scalp in a far too pleasant way. "Good girl~ Now, remember to speak slowly.” The situation was too confusing for her to be offended.
Her voice sounded so weak. "Whe…where am I?” At least her throat did not feel sore from overuse, that was something good.
The affini sat down, though it was impossible to tell on what. "you are at the Lilly veterinarian clinic, and to be more specific, in treatment room 9-12.” The vet?...Had something happened? That probably meant that the affini was a doctor, or vet as the affini insisted on calling it.
With two questions down, the most important one remained. "Why am…I here? Did something happen?” Nothing hurt…or was that because of xenodrugs? A deep chilling fear began to rise from her spine, had something happened to her? A quick inspection through motion confirmed that her limbs were alright…Unless the affini had replaced them after the incident.
The affini stood up and placed a large hand on her head, and for some reason the motion actually calmed her down. "Don’t be afraid, you are not in any danger. You were in an…accident, but there has been no permanent damage.” No permanent damage? The hand on her head gently moved, ruffling her hair slightly. "I will tell you what happened, and if you agree I will administer some xenodrugs to help you relax beforehand.” Xenodrugs?
Did the affini think her too weak take some bad news without panicking? "No thank you. I would like to hear everything….Also, please remove your hand.” Even with the maximum amount of force at her disposal, her voice still sounded fragile and hardly above a whisper.
The pleasant sensation was removed along with the hand, and the vet looked slightly concerned. "As you wish, but if there is a danger you might hurt yourself I will use calm you for your own protection. A few days ago, while you were holding a speech, a misguided little feral attacked you. While you sustained serious injuries, a friend of yours got you here in time.” The speech…oh…void.
The memories returned, first slowly and then all at once. She had been shoved down the stairs of the lecture hall and hit her head…Shoved? No, she had been… Rosa lurched and after ripping away the sheet, looked down. Out of three separate spots, one on her chest and two on her waist, there were flowers blooming out of her. She had been shot! And that meant….
Please no. "Did anyone else get hurt?!” Fuck, fuck, fuck! How could she have let this happen?
A strong hand and a few vines pushed her gently back down into the bed. "She was right, you are a very compassionate little flower. Don’t worry, no one else was hurt…perhaps scared, but not hurt.” Thank the stars…
With such relief, it was not hard to calm down. "How hurt am I? I would like to hear all of it.”
The vet waited a few seconds, their voice hesitant. "If you are sure…” Rosa nodded with a stern gaze and the affini relented. "The first bullet hit your chest, shattering a rib but dealing no additional damage. The second one pierced straight through your midsection, missing your vital organs. The most serious damage came from the third that punctured one of your kidneys, it’s a good thing you cuties have two. When you arrived, the main issue was major blood loss and internal hemorrhaging. Luckily I have quite some experience pathing up cuties like yourself so all of it should be back to normal in a short amount of time.” That sounded scary, but not too bad…
Oh, she was not finished. "The hit to your head resulted in some minor trauma and a concussion, though that has healed. In addition, your body was suffering from overwork and high amounts of exhaustion, nothing too serious but…” her tone become starkly more domineering. "you will relax and take a vacation, or I will prescribe you a class-J regiment. I recommend the latter, but from what I have heard you are not too favorable towards xenodrugs.” Damn right, class-J? Not a chance.
Rosa lifted herself slightly upwards. "No xenodrugs thank you very much. When can I leave?” Staying at the vet for any longer than necessary was not tempting. From her experience they had a tendency to be far more authoritative than your average affini. Just because they were medical professionals did not give them the right to tell her whatever they wanted.
The vet shook her head dismissively. "Not until I am satisfied your wounds have healed, a process that will not be hastened by your impatience. Now then, you have had a visitor that has been pestering me since you arrived. Do you have the energy to see her now?” Visitor? It couldn’t be her family, they weren’t in the sector.
Who could it be? "Sure, could you adjust the bed first?” Sitting up without support had become tiring remarkably quickly. The bed was adjusted so she could lie at an angle and another glass of water was put onto the nightstand.
After checking something on her data pad the Vet looked at her sternly. "I will be right outside, press the button over there if you need anything. Food will be provided shortly.” As the affini left, her sight traced down to the nightstand, originally in search of the water it found something else as well.
A bouquet of flowers in a vase along with a box of chocolate, a letter was attached to the flowers. "Get well soon – Kevin Dulcis, first floret and Saccharu Dulcis, Second Bloom.” Fuck…..how had she messed things up this badly? And of course, Kevin was too kind to reject her after what had happened…Her chest felt so tight with guilt it was almost difficult to breathe.
Her attention was snapped to the door as it opened. "Rosa!” It was Echina….Why was she here?. "Thank the Everbloom you are okay!” The relief in the affini’s voice was overpowering. Within a second she had crossed the room and before Rosa could protest coiled vines around her in a tight embrace. "I was so worried…” Her chest got even tighter, this wasn’t right…
Rosa’s face was pressed against the alien’s chest and the sweet smell from the red flowers filled her senses. A familiar but at the same time alien rhythm could be heard from within the affini, it vibrated through her body in calm soothing waves. The tightness in her chest released. "I’m sorry….” Her throat was choked, and she pressed closer into the affini. "I’m sorry, I never wanted anyone to get hurt…I just..” The feelings that had welled up in her chest began to flow….This was so wrong, she should not be crying, not now, not here.
The vines tightened around her. "There is nothing the be sorry for…None of this is your fault.” But it was, this was all her fault. It was her rhetoric, her naiveite that had caused this to happen, it was only through luck that other people had not gotten hurt…The comfort of the hug got more and more unbearable, she did not deserve it. Not after how she had treated Echina, Kevin, and all the others….
Even as the tears began to streak down her face Rosa pushed against the hug with the feeble amout of strength she could muster. Echina bristled and moved backward, rejecting the affini felt wrong but it was the only right thing to do. "I...I’m fine.” It did not sound very convincing. Rosa dried away the tears and cleared her throat. "Is everyone else fine?” The vet probably knew but Echina was sure to know.
The affini stood there for a second, almost in a daze before focusing her sight back onto her. "Yes, but we have all been worried about you…How are you feeling?” Several words came to mind, but none of them would be right, it would only make the affini more concerned.
Rosa pressed the feelings down, straightening her voice. "As I said, I am fine. What happens now? Am I to be domesticated for posing a threat to others and organizing feral activity?” People, like veronica, had been domesticated for far less.
Echina’s vines moved uncomfortably. "No, nothing like that. We understand you never meant for any violence to take place…And having been the target of two attacks, it is safe to assume you are not feral.” Great….Echina moved closer again but stayed at a comfortable distance. "Are you sure you’re fine?… It’s okay to not be fine, especially after what happened.” Why did she have to be so relentless?
The door opened, and the divine smell of ginger and garlic filled the room. The vet was holding a bowl of noodle soup in one of her vines. "Sorry to interrupt but this little one needs to eat, kidneys don’t regrow on their own~” It was a welcome interruption, the bowl of food was placed in her lap…It was the meal she usually made for Veronica when she was down. The affini patted her on the head. "I made sure to go through the archives and find something you would like based on your preferences. Do you want me to feed you?”
Rosa carefully brushed the vine on her head aside. "No, I can eat on my own…if anything I would like some peace and quiet.” To avoid eye contact she took a spoon full of soup, a piece of diced meat followed along….It was very tasty, no wonder veronica liked it.
Even with her gaze downwards she could feel the concern from the two affini, Echina spoke first. "I would very much like to visit again, so send me a message if you have the energy. Kevin and Saccharu would also like to visit but make sure to rest, ok?” Rosa nodded, not that she intended to put any of them through any more pain.
The vet nodded in agreement, thought she was looking at Echina. "Not to worry, I will make sure she gets plenty of rest. She will be better in no time.” The vet’s gaze turned to her. “Just place the bowl on the nightstand after you are done. You seem a tad touch starved, a far too common condition for the undomesticated, would you like a plushie or a dozen to sleep with?~” The food had to be giving her some more energy because the indignation finally returned.
The affini had been nice but it was time to set some boundaries. "No, and please refrain from talking to me like that in the future…Now, I would like to enjoy this meal in private.” The vet merely shrugged and together with Echina left the room.
Just before the door closed Echina turned around. "See you soon.” Rosa nodded, like the liar she was, the guilt did not permit her to imagine that as a likely future.
--Centhia, North New Bergen, 31 st Sliverbloom Street, 31.04.2555, 06:12–-
Rosa awoke, despite having to wish to do so. A lazy hand stretched out and found the data pad, its harsh light was uncomfortable for a split second before her eyes adjusted to the dark….6:13…’Wonderful’. She turned around in the bed, trying to find a position that her body would accept for another round of sleep. More sleep did not come, instead, she slumbered. Not the good and warm kind of slumber, one had on days where there was no work to do, even if there was indeed no work to do. Instead, it was a restless uncomfortable slumber, eyes opening and closing without any purpose.
At 8:49, hunger finally brought her out of bed, she had fallen asleep with her clothes already on so putting them on was thankfully not necessary, they did feel a bit sweaty…She could compile some clean ones later. After taking class-G, Rosa complied with what she complied every morning: A bowl of porridge with sugar, cinnamon, and a dash of butter. The hab was quiet, almost unsettlingly quiet, but it was familiar.
After eating about half of the meal Rosa threw the last part away before washing the plate and cutlery. There was no good reason for this, something made even more obvious as she decompiled the things she had just washed…but it was something to do. Speaking of things to do, she should probably clean, even the affini invasion had not removed the nuisance of dust. But it could wait, there was no rush.
Moving back to her room Rosa sat down in front of her computer. She booted up a game, stared at the menu, and closed it, it was not very tempting at the moment. The process was repeated half a dozen times before Rosa gave up and watched a show instead. The ancient Terran program held her attention for maybe an hour before even inaction became grating.
Rosa spun the chair around and stood up, took one step, and collapsed onto the bed. It was too warm for the blanket, so she hugged it instead while idling without purpose. The white ceiling looked remarkably uninteresting…Her old apartment had always had the fun game of tracing the mold that the landlord refused to do anything about. At some point the idling become slumbering and the slumber turned to sleep.
When she woke her head felt cloudy and confused, a far too familiar experience these days. While her body rebooted she got some more complied food, threw half of it away, cleaned the plates, and decompiled it. Her now half-functioning mind searched for something to do…..Video games? No….Shows? Nah….Studying?...Why not? A slight headache was beginning to develop, probably dehydration.
Grabbing her data pad Rosa went into the overnet, first removing all the messages from the domestication center, and then entering the Education website. It took some searching, but eventually, something grabbed her attention, apparently, the affini were working or restoring Rinan culture after the damage the accord occupation had caused. Rosa did not get past the first page before the energy to keep reading dried up. A small pling alerted her to another message, it was from Kevin.
[Sweeter_than_sugar]: Hi Rosa, we are having a meeting today. Are you coming?
The message was shorter and less elaborate than usual, perhaps he was finally giving up. The slew of messages from Kevin she had not responded to had long since drowned out their previous correspondence, it would take a lot of finger swiping to find her last response. Not that it would change today, Rosa turned off the data pad and collapsed onto the bed once more. Why wouldn’t he just leave her alone? Had she not done enough?
A high-pitched pling broke the endless silence of the apartment. Speaking of people who would not leave her alone. Myrtaca was beginning to really get on her nerves, not that the other welfare officers were any better. The only real purpose they served besides causing her irritation was marking the often-confusing passage of time.
Rosa hauled her body out of bed and moved to the door, pressing the button that allowed her to communicate with the other side. "Go away. I have no interest in another meaningless and frustrating conversation.” Hopefully, it would not take too long to drive the pest away.
The voice that came from the other side was not Myrtaca’s. "I always found our conversations to be very interesting.” Why the fuck was Echina here? "Could I come in?” Rosa hesitated for several seconds.
A suspicion had formed in her mind. "Are you here to do another pointless wellness check?” One would think that after the sixth one they would leave her alone.
There was a moment of tense silence before the answer came reluctantly. "Yes…I am worried about you…Can I come in?” For fuck’s sake, she did not need to be a genius to understand the affini would not take no for an answer, and arguing about it required far more energy than she had at her disposal.
Rosa unlocked and opened the door, staring down the affini on the other side. "Fine, but make it quick.” It would be the same shit all over again, but why did they have to send Echina?….It made everything worse.
Echina looked normal, except for the worried expression on her face that she tried to turn into a smile. "Thank you.” While the affini pressed through the small door and into the apartment rosa walked over to the ‘dining’ table and sat down in the chair. The apartment's silence was broken by the constant hum coming from the affini, it had no reason to be so pleasant.
Best to get it over with. "What do you want?” Her tone was perhaps not too pleasant.
Meanwhile, The affini had found what looked to be an amazingly uncomfortable position to sit in the far too small apartment. "I just want to know how you are doing.” Echina’s voice was cautious, worry mixed in its melodic timbre.
Rosa looked straight at the affini, holding eye contact. "I am fine.” Why could they not accept that?
Echina’s eyes changed, the metal-looking orbs taking on a deep blue color. "I don’t believe that…I haven’t seen you in over a month. Please tell me what is going on so I can help, please.” Had it truly been over a month? Who cared? The fact that she got angry at such an open display of empathy was sickening…or perhaps it was pity, it was always difficult to tell the two apart when I came to the affini.
Either way, her response was the same. "Then let me give you a lesson in human culture. When a human says that they are ‘fine’, it does not definitely mean that they are perfectly okay. What it means, is that they don’t want your help or concern. In my case however it is both, I don’t need or want your help.” The eyes she was having trouble keeping eye contact with turned a few shades darker.
The rhythm in the room intensified as a few of the beautiful red flowers wilted. "You have not come to any of the RDM meetings, you have not attended any of your therapy sessions, Myrtaca is the only person who has even seen you after you left the vet. It is clear that you are suffering…”
She allowed the indignation to strengthen her words. "Only I get to decide whether I am suffering, not you or anyone else. My health is good, as the blood tests I have sent to the clinic show. I am content here, I don’t need therapy.” Everything would be so much easier if they just forgot all about her. That is how the accord had worked, perhaps the only good thing it had over the compact.
The intruder did not look convinced. "When was the last time you were out? Who was the last person you met that was not Myrtaca?” Rosa looked away, eye contact with the affini was too exhausting. The questions were left unanswered. Echina's voice was pained, any form of harmony was long gone. "Why won't you allow us to help you?” Feelings that she had managed to make numb were becoming raw once again.
Rosa stood up. "Because I don’t need it! I am the one who has her shit together, I am the one who helps others, tries to build a better world…if I am not that person…” Her words had once again moved come faster than her mind had accounted for. "if I am not that person….I’m just a useless and arrogant failure, a burden.” It was exactly what she was…
Echina extended a few comforting vines, but they stopped halfway. "You are not a failure, you are a wonderful and intelligent person…” What a bald-faced lie!
She took a step towards the affini, pointing a finger upwards at her face. "Really? The person I tried to help, I failed. I alienated you and everyone else because of my own stupid pride! The movement I have built for several years, I sabotaged any chance it might have. I was only lucky that my mistakes did not get anyone hurt.” The vines recoiled and moved like an ocean in upheaval.
The affini expanded massively within the blink of an eye. " You got hurt!” Rosa flinched backward, almost falling before vines grabbed her shoulders, Echina’s face was right in front of her. "Why do you care so little for your own wellbeing?!” Getting out of the grasp of the vines was impossible, they were solid as iron.
It was almost impossible to not look into those large, beautiful eyes. "Why won’t you just leave me alone? Have I not done enough to push you away? Why…why do you still care?” It made no sense, unless…..no, that couldn’t be it….but it was. "You want me as your floret! Don’t you?!” The vines pulled back as scorched by fire.
The affini shrunk back, becoming smaller than usual before. "What I want does not matter, but I will not allow you to suffer.” Echina did not even have the dignity to deny the accusation, or maybe it was just standard affini honesty.
The anger burned once more. "You won’t allow me? To think that I was ever naïve enough to think that we could be equals. How can we be? When all that you need to own me is a piece of paper. Let me give you some advice, if someone does not want your help then that is it. Trying to help them after that will only give you exhaustion and sorrow. I do not want your or anyone else’s help, So. Leave. Me. Alone. Or are you going to domesticate me because of some mild depression?” She had gotten out of such slumps before and could do so again without burdening anyone else.
Echina had regained her composure, her voice had become unflinchingly determined. "Your advice might be correct for terrans, but I am not a terran. I want you to come with me to the domestication center so you can have a session with a xeno-psychologist. You want to stay independent, fine. But that does not give you permission to self-isolate and waste away.”….It was reasonable, so why did it feel impossible to accept?
Because she was the one who was supposed to say that. She was the one who was supposed to help, take responsibility for others, and make things better….The anger died out and Rosa slumped into the chair, looking down at the ground. Things had not been good before the invasion, but they had been simple. No one was going to help her, so she had to be the strong one and help others.
That was how it had worked….but not anymore. No one needed her anymore, the world did not need her to make it better, she only made it worse. It should be a relief to put down that charge, to be free of that responsibility, but it just felt hollow. People around her were becoming happy and for a few moments, she had fooled herself into thinking that she could be so as well…until her pride had ruined it all. To add insult to injury she was now making others’ lives worse by making them worry about her.
Rosa finally looked up and met Echina’s gaze. "….I don’t deserve your help…I’m sorry.” Letting her waste away would be the best for everyone.
The affini moved forward. "You never needed to deserve my help, and I will not make the mistake of leaving you alone again. Please come with me outside.” Rosa looked towards the door, it was a tempting offer.
But there was only one correct answer. "I can’t.”
And one predictable response. "Then you leave me no choice.” A vine stung her gently in the arm, drowsiness came a second later. "I promise everything will be okay.” Maybe she was right…
Chapter 5: Rude awakening and soft lullabies
Chapter Text
--------------------------Centhia, North New Bergen, 31st Solum Street, 23.04.2555, 16:05--------------------------
Echina carried to sleeping human out of the small and lonely hab, her core still thrumming with pain. Even with Myrtaca’s warning she had hoped Rosa would come willingly, it seemed naïve in retrospect. Seeing Rosa this way was painful, something should have been done way before, they should have intervened before it got to this point. At the same time, it had not gotten bad enough to warrant this sort of action before now. And with the human’s fierce denial of help, there had been little they could do….
Even if it was correct, it felt like empty excuses. Part of her never wanted to let Rosa out of her sigh ever again. Each time she did, something bad seemed to befall the poor girl, something she should have prevented. They were supposed to be the caretakers of the galaxy, and still, she had allowed Rosa to be attacked not once, but twice…and then let her suffer afterward. Having her vines tightly secured around the sleeping human soothed that part of her, it would be unpleasant to let go.
Echina tried to remove the discord in her core. That part of her, the possessive part of her, who wanted to never let go….it was not right to keep on to, to allow to flourish. Denying that she wanted to own Rosa was impossible at this point, even the human could see it…and it would be so very easy. A few right words in her report and Rosa would be all hers, and within a few weeks, the girl would thank her for it.
But that would not be right, it was still uncertain if Rosa needed to be domesticated and she would err on the side of freedom. Not only to make sure that the freedom Rosa valued so much would be preserved, as long as she could handle that responsibility. But also, to prove a point as much to herself as to anyone else. The human was wrong, the affini were not here for selfish reasons…at least not completely.
The domestication center finally came into view, soon she could let someone with less emotional attachment make the right choice. Walking through the park and seeing the happy affini and their equally happy florets brought some envy to her melody, if only Rosa…Echina quickly weeded out the envy and the thought before entering the building.
The affini at the reception reacted with a worried but not surprised expression <I had a feeling it was going to end this way, poor girl. Myrtaca is on her way now, Rosa’s xeno-psychologist is in a session at the moment, but should be free soon.> Good, Myrtaca would be the best sophont to handle the situation and therapy would do the human plenty of good.
Before she could even thank the receptionist and sit down a waving hand in the periphery grabbed her attention, Myrtaca looked remarkably elegant for how quickly she moved. The welfare officer took a long sorrowful look at Rosa before raising her gaze <I was afraid it would come to this…let’s go up to my office and start sorting it out.> Yeah….sort it out.
Echina started to follow as they moved towards the elevators <to be honest I don’t know if it was a good idea to send me after all, her reaction was not very…positive.> A bad idea was putting it nicely, she should never have accepted, letting her worry and possessivnes misguide her judgment once again.
They entered and Myrtaca pressed the button to the 46th floor <Rosa has not exactly been accommodating to me or the others, anyone else would probably have had to break down the door.> So instead, Rosa had trusted her only to be taken from her home against her will….great.
The elevator door opened with a soft *pling* and after a few moments, they arrived at Myrtaca’s office. While it was quite orderly, the amount of paperwork stacked around almost made it seem messy. After finding the correct stack of paper Myrtaca sat down behind her desk, Echina sat down in one of the affini-sized chairs on the other side.
After rummaging through the documents Myrtaca finally found what she was looking for <I think we can both agree that domestication would be premature at the moment. At the same time, leaving on her own is clearly not acceptable.> With one vine the welfare officer began to write on one document, with another, she handed her a separate form <a wardship would be the best solution unless her psychological evaluation comes up with something unexpected.>
Echina quickly scanned the document in front of her, it become quickly obvious what it was for <I do not think it would be the correct choice to have me as her caretaker. Someone else should do it.> The human shifted slightly in the bed of vines, a few adjustments later and the human could sleep comfortably once more…..so cute…no, focus!
Her gaze drifted up and met a confused Myrtaca, observing her with puzzling eyes <why do you say that? You know her well and you two have a good relationship. Rosa does not take kindly to most affini, setting her up with a stranger would not be optimal.>
Only the latter half of that was true <you overestimate how well she likes me….and today will not have improved our relationship. I am certain you can find someone that is more compatible with her than I am.> For some reason her explanation seemed to cause amusement rather than understanding.
Myrtaca leaned forward and looked at Rosa <Echina…> her voice slow and confident <her breath is currently matching your biorhythm.> That could not be true….focusing on Rosa’s breath for only a moment proved it to be unsettlingly arcuate <if you think I can find someone more compatible, then your confidence in me is far too high.>
The tinge of embarrassment grew <That is hardly relevant. She would think I want to domesticate her, I can’t be her caretaker.> Her vines around the human tightened instinctively, the offer was far too tempting.
The only response was a short sigh, followed by a smile <It seems to me that you value your friendship with Rosa and wellbeing a lot…out of pure curiosity, do you want her to be your floret?>
This was highly unprofessional <what I want does not matter, only her happiness does.> Once again, her rebuke did not leave much impact.
In fact, Myrtaca only smiled wider, she looked downright self-satisfied <and that is why you would be the perfect caretaker for her.> Why would this sophont not listen?
Before a retort could be made there was a knock on the door, and it was opened slightly ajar. A bark-covered affini with a gentle smile peeked through <I hope I am not interrupting, is Rosa here?>
Myrtaca gestured for them to come inside <yes, thank you for making time on such short notice, have you read through the files?> It did not seem like the newcomer had noticed the tension in the room.
The affini nodded, the leaves that covered its head rustling <Indeed I have. If it were not too much trouble I would like to start her session as soon as possible. The girl should have visited me months ago, I am rather anxious to start her recovery.> Their concern was palpable, he turned to her and extended a vine <you must be her caretaker, I am Rosa’s xeno-psychologist….not that she has visited after her mandatory psychological evaluation seven months ago.> Not even once?….
She entwined a vine around his <I am not her caretaker, just a concerned friend.> No need to let Myrtaca’s suggestions be stated as fact first.
<I understand…> good, he extended a few more vines…..The xeno-psychologist looked at her for an awkward moment <could I take her?> oh right. After hesitating for several seconds, she eventually managed to hand the human over into his vines…it was unpleasant to no longer be holding her.
Myrtaca shot her a knowing look <tell us once you are done and we can meet outside your office. I don’t think Rosa wants to spend more time here than necessary. Her last experience of the place was….not the best.> Echina had only heard later what had happened, no wonder Rosa had reacted so strongly.
The bark on the affini moved elegantly as he talked <indeed, good luck with the rest of your meeting.> while her core still itched to hold Rosa once again, it was reassuring to know it would soon be better. After a smiling wave he left, as the door closed her core itched a bit more.
-------------------Centhia, North New Bergen, Domestication center 4C, 23.04.2555, 17:44-----------------------
Rosa awakened slowly, her head was slower than usual awakenings, there was a soft and friendly voice behind the darkness “…looks like you need a bit more.” The darkness dissipated, and awareness flooded her mind with force. Her eyes opened and took in what looked to be a cutesy decorated room, the sun shone through a window, bathing the entire room in a warm and yellow light. An affini was sitting in a large chair, their non-threatening eyes focused on her while a vine slowly retracted back into its form.
They were tall and slender, with a brown bark formed over green vines almost like a vest. Their face was perhaps more remarkable as the wood moved like shifting water as its expressions changed. It also wore a vine-made pair of glasses, though they did not have any glass, it also looked precariously placed on the affini’s thin nose.
A quick examination showed that she was sitting in a similar chair, but much smaller. The affini extended a hand in greeting “hello Rosa, do you remember me?” ……..oh right, it was the psychologist…but why was she here? Wait…..Echina had drugged and brought her HERE?! A wave of terror spread throughout her body, her eyes snapped to the door. Would she make it if she tried to run?
“Are you scared of something dear?” The affini sounded concerned. Rosa slowly turned to look at him…There was no way she would make it out the door before he stopped her…
There was only one real question, her voice was low and afraid “are you going to domesticate me?....” it couldn’t be happening.
The affini tilted their head and smiled reassuringly “no, we are not at that stage, but we had to bring you here so we can help you.” That was a relief but still, at least the accord let one suffer in peace “From what I understand you will be placed in a wardship.” That was not a relief at all….wardships usually ended in domestication, but there was a chance.
Rosa slinked back in the chair, crossing her arms, staring the affini down “what do you want?” In response, the affini took up a data pad and a pen.
After performatively pushing the fake glasses up his nose, he looked at her “I need to do an evaluation of your mental state so we can understand how best to help you. I promise that there is nothing to be afraid of.” There was plenty to be afraid of, she would have to be careful to not give them more ammunition to justify domestication.
But the affini had shown that noncooperation was not tolerated “fine, though I don’t know what you expect me to say. Also, I don’t appreciate being abducted from my home, file that in your report as well.” It has not even taken her 3 seconds before her words were retributive and sharp.
The psychologist nodded “I will be sure to do so. Now, I am not going to ask you any questions just yet. First I would like for you to look at this.” One of his vines extended, on its tip grew a large petaled flower in full bloom. It was slightly bioluminescent and shone in a plethora of colors, it began to spin slowly “All I want you to do is to focus on the flower while I count down from 10, can you do that?”
Her eyes were already glued to the flower, not to please the affini mind you, but it was oddly captivating. “10.” There was something moving on the edge of her vision, part of her wanted to check what it was, but the flower had started to move slightly faster, and looking away felt wrong.
“9.” The affini voice was so oddly soothing, like a gentle melody that she could not help but listen to.
“8.” had something stung her arm? It was so hard to tell with all her focus on the flower, the light cascading of it in beautiful rays.
“7.” A cool but pleasant feeling spread from her arm, all across her body, and into her mind where it settled comfortably.
“6.” Her thoughts seemed to become slightly less dangerous and difficult, like the barriers around them had weakened.
“5.” The flower slowly stopped spinning and retraced, for a moment her mind struggled to focus.
And then suddenly, it was back “2.” The next number came way later…had she spaced out or something?
“1” the cool feeling had ebbed off without her even noticing, her thoughts felt far more normal now, if a bit distant.
“And 0. There we go, all done.” hold on, it was done already? That made no sense, how could they have learned anything from her just looking at a flower? Her mind still felt quite dizzy. Rosa rubbed her eyes and realized they were wet from tears….had she been crying?
The gentle voice of the therapist slowed “just relax, it will take some time for your mind to readjust.” That sounded like a remarkably good idea. Slowly but surely, the dizziness wore off and her mind sped up.
Once her mind was clear again a nod signaled that they could continue, he smiled “do you think you can answer just a few questions?” Questions….sure, she could do that. He tapped his pen on the data pad “could you tell me how you feel?”
How did she feel? “Confused…and irritated from being forced here.” She was about to say lonely, it had been on the tip of her tongue….Though it did not make sense, she wasn’t lonely….and even if she was, the affini did not need to know that.
The psychologist wrote more on their data pad before standing up “one last question before we end for today. Is there any specific affini you would want as your caretaker?” Echina came to mind, and again she had to stop herself from blurting something out without consideration.
Rosa looked out the window, the sun was setting “no, but no one at all would be best. I’m fine, I don’t need your help.” Becoming the ward of some stranger affini was not tempting in the slightest but bothering Echina anymore was unacceptable. The affini nodded but did not respond any further, after hesitating for a moment she got to her feet and followed him out of the room.
Outside the office both Myrtaca and Echina were sitting in affini-sized chairs and talking, they both quickly stopped and stood up. Myrtaca looked down at her and smiled “good to see you again Rosa, we need to talk with your xeno-psychologist for a moment. Could you wait while we do so? It won’t take long, I promise.” A large part of her wanted to tell the affini off, but what good would that do?
Instead, she glared up at the two affini before silently walking over to one of the chairs and climbing up. For once the large size was an actual benefit, the chair could easily function as a strangely shaped bed. The affini began to talk, in affini of course, no need for her to know what they thought about her….. bastards.
The psychologist was the first to speak, it was difficult to not listen even if she couldn’t understand <I decided to use some class-D and light hypnosis, therefore she will not remember much of our session. Usually, I prefer less intrusive methods, but her lack of cooperation made it necessary.> The affini voices were even more melodic when not constrained by speaking English.
A few of Echina’s vines curled and uncurled <what did you find out?> even with the language barrier the concern in her voice was still obvious, something proven as the affini shot her a worried glance. Rosa looked away, pretending that she had not been paying attention by staring at the ceiling.
The psychologist’s voice was more harmonic than Echina’s but still had some discord <She is suffering from a severe lack of perceived self-worth, long-term loneliness, depression, and some minor burnout. The root of the problem seems to be that she evaluates her self-worth on how well she can help others and takes a great deal of responsibility for both her friends and the local community as a consequence. Now that Rosa believes she has failed these groups, her perception of self-worth is tragically skewed. This is also why Rosa is so reluctant to get help, she believes that she does not deserve it and that receiving help would prove her current negative perception of self-worth.> whatever he had said was clearly not good, both Myrtaca and Echina looked at her worriedly….had they found something that would sanction domestication? No….that was impossible, wasn’t it?
Myrtaca turned to the psychologist once more <I have always interpreted her reluctance as coming from an ideological source, is that incorrect?> Honestly, if they were not secretly discussing her fate it would be rather nice to listen to them talk.
<while there is certainly some ideological influence, she does not hold the same standards to others. Her reluctance derives from the brave front she usually displays. It is not an uncommon tactic for hiding insecurities from oneself and others.> Her mind sure was interesting, or maybe they had moved on and were discussing how to best ‘help’, aka domesticate, her.
Maybe it would be worth it to at least try to escape. <I understand, do you have any suggestions for how to move ahead?> Nah it would probably not work, and then her chances of not being domesticated would be zero.
At the same time, a wardship did not give hopeful prospects <honestly a few weeks on class-J might really do the trick. Nothing else helps loneliness and self-esteem like being lovingly doted on over an extended period of time….but a lot indicates that might not be the best approach.> If a wardship did not end in forceful domestication it almost always ended in a ‘voluntary’ one.
If those plants thought she would willingly be turned into some helpless pet they were dead wrong <I agree, but it might be a suitable plan B if it comes to that. For now, Echina has agreed to be Rosa’s caretaker.> But a lot of other people had probably thought the same thing before being smothered by affini affection and xenodrugs….did she even stand a chance?
Whatever affini ended up with her would probably try to make her accept domestication <how wonderful. While she would not admit it when not on class-D, Rosa did name you when I asked her when the xenodrugs were in effect.> The roof was seriously beginning to lose her interest and thinking more about her future was not very uplifting.
<I still think someone else would be bett-> oh for star's sake, Rosa glared at the three affini.
“Are you soon done?! I am tired of hearing you three talk, are you going to domesticate me or not?” The general anxiety of the situation was too much. If they wanted to do it, then why not now?
The affini went silent, Myrtaca sighed “no you are not being domesticated, you will be Echina’s ward for a few weeks and then a committee will evaluate what is the best for you.” An affini committee….the result was predictable. Myrtaca must have read her expression because she moved forward, her face sterner than usual “There is plenty of chance that this ends with your independence, but that chance is null if you don’t cooperate. Understand?”
Rosa looked away from the affini “if you say so…” the affini were not known liars so her situation might be a bit less grim than assumed.
The friendly smile returned to Myrtaca’s face “good, here you will need to put these on so we can monitor your anxiety and health.” The lattice of vines on her form moved and revealed a small compartment, a separate vine pulled out two grey armbands of affini design from within.
Shackles, or at least the affini kind “and so you can stop me from escaping.” Each armband was certainly outfitted with class-E to dose her down and a tracking device.
Myrtaca leaned down, looking slightly puzzled “are you going to try escaping?” The words were far too genuine and concerned.
Rosa looked away from the affini once more and huffed “I’m not stupid…” Trying to escape would indeed be stupid, playing by the affini’s rules was the only path that had a slim chance of retaining freedom.
Echina stepped forward, the scholar looked uncomfortable “We should head home to my hab, it is late, and you must be hungry.” Rosa didn’t respond at first, instead clasping the shackles on herself, first the left, then the right. They did not feel too tight or uncomfortable, in fact, they were very smooth…almost pleasant. Something told her they would be on for quite some time, her stomach sunk and grew hollow.
She got down from the chair and looked up at Echina “okay, I would prefer to go home. But if this is what the plant lords demand, then how can I say no?” If the sarcasm was any more potent it would likely be toxic.
Without giving any signal of goodbye to the other affini, Rosa began walking away from the affini and towards where she hoped the elevators were. Echina said a few brief words in affini before following, quickly catching up. There was a long tense silence between them as they walked “I doubt you want to turn around, but the closest elevators are the other way.” Of course, they fucking were, sometimes it felt like the universe itself was taunting her.
Rosa quickened her pace “you are damn right I won’t turn around, and perhaps I would have chosen the right direction if I was not DRUGGED and brought her in my sleep.” It was frustrating that the affini had no trouble keeping up with her speed.
Echina sighed, a few vines moving restlessly “I take it you are angry.” What an incredible deduction, affini empathy really was something special. The silence continued until they reached the elevators, as they waited Echina looked down at her “Even if you are dissatisfied with the situation, can we try to make the best of it?” and what would ‘the best of it’ be? They entered the elevator, and it began to move.
The anger grew “You love this don’t you, got the perfect excuse to domesticate me just like you wanted.” The venom in her voice was painful, even to herself. Rosa expected the affini to stay silent for a while like usual after such a hurtful remark, but not this time.
Echina pressed a button and the elevator stopped. As the affini looked down at her Rosa suddenly felt very, very small. Echina’s sounded calm but there was hurt in the melodic voice “do you really think that I am that self-interested?” The fire of anger was gutted in an instant, only the bitter ashes of guilt remained.
Why was she like this? “no...I…I’m sorry.” Echina was her friend, even if that was a poor decision on the affini’s part. Treating her like this just revealed how truly pathetic she was “I…you are just trying to help…but you shouldn’t, you don’t need to.” The polished floor of the elevator reflected back at her, all she could see was a miserable and meanspirited person, why did -
“Rosa.” The words held a powerful force, one that dragged her vision upwards, but not enough to meet the affini’s eyes. A vine guided her face further upwards until she reluctantly made eye contact with Echina “that is wrong.” The words were spoken slowly. The eyes glowed blue and Rosa's attention latched onto them “I want to help you, and there is nothing wrong with that. Understand?”
It felt wrong to argue “but I don’t deserve-“ Echina did not even give her the chance to finish the sentence.
The eyes gleamed now “Wrong. You deserve to get help, understand?” The remaining resistance to the powerful words faded away, and Rosa nodded weakly. The vine that had guided her gaze moved and patted her on the head “good, I will not accept that kind of sentiment. You are a wonderful person, and I will teach you to accept that.” That did not seem right, but Rosa had no means to argue against it.
Echina pressed a button, and the elevator began to move again. After a moment of silence, the affini spoke “I promise to not domesticate you, not under any circumstances. I shall help you become happy and then you can go back home, does that sound fair?” It did not need to be said that the threat of domestication was still there, but the promise did prove how horribly she had misread the situation…like always.
Why had she been so quick to pass judgment? What wrong had Echina actually done? Nothing at all was the obvious answer. As she was about to apologize a large hand was put on her shoulder “it's okay, you have been through a lot. The only thing I want is to help you be the best version of yourself that is possible…can you give me that?” A subtle and hopeful smile crossed Echina’s face.
Rosa wanted to say no, or at least a large part of her wanted to…but it was the least she could do “okay…if you want to.” Echina’s smile widened with relief, the hand on her shoulder lifted and seemed to move in the direction of her head before it snapped behind the affini’s back.
There was a genuine and beautiful sounding joy in Echina’s voice “thank you, it means a lot. Now let's get home and make you some food.” Rosa’s stomach rumbled in response to the suggestion, some food would be good….maybe the warship would be tolerable.
As they excited the domestication center the sun had almost fully set, and dark shadows were creeping up the buildings, sometimes repelled by the gentle light from windows and streetlights. Echina moved towards a set of staircases that lead down into the ground “My hab is some distance away, it will be faster if we take the mag-rail.”
Rosa followed the affini down the stairs and into the complex underground, hopefully, there would not be too many people….They rounded a corner and came into the main path to the trail. Her hopes were dashed, there were so many people and so much noise. Instinctively she reached for her pockets and the headphones that were usually there….her pockets were empty, it was not like she had intended to go outside today.
Without any other choice, she began to follow Echina, following in the path of the affini made traversing the stream of people somewhat easier. The noise began to press upon her. A shout from somewhere, the sound of trampling in all directions, someone accidentally bumped into her and was gone the next second. Breathing become more and more difficult as the masses seemed to close in around her. Rosa focused on just following behind Echina, losing the affini was a horrifying prospect.
With the flower-covered affini as her lighthouse, they arrived at the platform as one of the trains left. The platform filled up with new people rapidly and a new train arrived a moment later. Peering through the windows she could see that it was full, far too full. Rosa tried to breathe slowly, everything was beginning to feel far away. She just had to press on, this would be okay. When the doors opened, she stayed close to Echina, in only a few seconds they were both squeezed between several other people, the masses pressing from all sides.
Echina did not sound very comfortable “I can’t wait until we get the secondary rail system online….Rosa, are you okay?” Rosa looked up, had she noticed….oh, she was biting her nails….
Focus on breathing, it would all be over soon “I..I’m fine, don’t worry.” Why did people have to be so loud? Her breathing became shallower, she shrunk her posture, wrapping her arms around each other. Part of her wanted to sink down onto the floor…but she could make it, it was not that bad….
A vine pressed her closer to Echina “I can help…please tell me what the problem is.” Fuck….how was she so pathetic that she could not even take the rail? Why was she so fragile? No one else seemed to struggle with it….could they not just be a bit quieter?
Focus, she needed to answer…..lying was tempting but a promise was a promise “there…are too many people and too much noise…sorry I…” her breathing became labored, was there a lack of oxygen?
Echina’s voice sounded far away “oh dear….I should have brought some class-S, hold on.” Rosa looked up as the center of the affini unfurled and for a moment it looked like the gaping maw of some horrifying eldritch creature. Vines curled underneath her arms and waist before lifting her up and into the maw. She was placed inside the affini and the vines that had unfurled rearranged themselves back into proper form.
Silence….sweet and utter silence. Somehow the vine mesh that made up Echina’s form blocked out all the noises from the outside world. Rosa breathed out in relief, her muscles began to lose some of their tension. It was so nice….and the vines were surprisingly soft. A voice spoke from up above “Rosa, are you okay?” Echina sounded very concerned, and maybe even guilty…it was difficult to tell.
Rosa leaned back into the vines “yes…thank you, much better.” She looked around, it was surprising but also made sense that the affini were hollow, the inside of the form was lit up by a gentle green light. Hold on, light? Rosa looked up and found its source.
Hanging above her was a large, slightly oval-shaped sphere. Out from each of its ends, a multitude of vines grew, spreading out and flowing into the form that surrounded her. It shone a beautiful green, but the shade of the light changed slightly over time…it was beautiful. And it moved, pulsing slightly to a familiar rhythm…
Only now did she notice that it was not in fact quiet, the calm rhythm and soothing melody emitted from the sphere. It reverberated through her body….it sounded so very nice. She wanted to be closer to it, hear the music better. Rosa noticed yet another thing, it looked fuzzy, soft even….the longer she stared at the sphere the more she noticed about its every magnificent detail.
Out of both curiosity and instinct, she reached out with a hand…and touched it. The form around her shuddered “Rosa?!?” but Echina’s surprise was completely lost on her. It was so….soft. No, soft did not even come close to describing how it felt, there was likely no work in any human langue that could describe the comfort of touching the sphere. The music and rhythm thrummed directly into her hand and then into her body…she needed to be closer.
With a great deal of effort, Rosa stretched up as far as possible and managed to wrap her arms around parts of it, the form shuddered again…but who cared? It was so wonderfully soft. The sphere had originally been too high up, but it soon moved downwards making it easy to hug. Rosa leaned into it, pressing her face into its fuzz…The entire world melted away.
There was no reason to keep her eyes open, the music was here, right next to her. No more reprehensible air particles to dilute its melody, just her and the sphere and its music. Her entire body leaned against the sphere and Rosa gently rubbed her cheek against it, how could anything be this nice?
It did not matter, there was no need for an explanation…or any thoughts at all. The melody was so omnipresent, it was better to just listen to it. One small easily ignored part of her mind was concerned but its worry could not compare with how wonderful this was. There was some other noise from up above, but Rosa ignored it. The music told her to be happy and that was what she was, the iron from several years of loneliness melted away into a soft happy puddle.
Then her mind began to slow down as sleep began to creep in. That was okay, as long as the sphere was here with her everything would be fine. Rosa nuzzled the sphere one more time before she fell asleep, her head resting against it, a warm smile on her face.
Chapter 6: Silly little lies
Chapter Text
------------------------Centhia, North New Bergen, Hab complex Ceria, 24.04.2555, 07:32--------------------------
The world was gone, a black void with her and the sphere floating in harmony was all that remained. The sphere was nestled in her lap, her arms hugging around it and her face was softly nuzzled into its soft coating. The void was filled with its music, it was omnipresent….and it was perfect.
Everything bad, it simply did not matter, not when the sphere was there to take all the pain and loneliness away. It was love, fulfillment, bliss….it was everything she needed with none of the cost that the universe usually applied to such wonders. There was no reason for this to end, Rosa was content to stay right here with the sphere until time ceased to exist. Why not? What else could be better? She continued to float endlessly in the void, the music reverberating through every atom of her being.
Then the music ceased.
Some terrible force had silenced the music, its rhythm and tones were gone. The terrible force then acted upon her, tearing her away from the sphere itself. Rosa tried to hold on, but the force was as strong as it was terrible, a moment later her grip failed. The second she lost contact with the sphere it disappeared….
she was alone in the void.
The cold, the aching, the pain, all of it returned. First slowly and then with full force, all that the sphere had shielded her from came back at once. Rosa curled up, knees pressed against her face, like the position could somehow protect her from all the pain that came from within. With the relief that the sphere had offered, its absence made the pain even rawer. Like a scar long ignored, now opened into a bleeding wound. The terrible force returned and pressed her down, her mind went numb and calm as the void’s darkness became absolute.
Rosa opened her eyes slowly, yawning and stretching in the bed. She reached for her datapad….strange it wasn’t there, had she put it somewhere else last night? Her mind was still stuck in whatever her dream had been about, but for each second that passed, it became less comprehensible. The bed was quite comfortable and there was no reason to wake up, lounging around was okay.
Once her vision had become unclouded by sleep Rosa noticed that her desk was remarkably tidy, something was off. In fact, the bedsheets were also new….she had planned to change them but just not gotten the time…Either way, this was not her bed, and on closer inspection, not her room. It was far taller and a good deal larger, but it was still very similar. There was something else strange, everything was awfully quiet, perfectly quiet…Rosa reached for her ears and found a pair of headphones upon them. They were easy to remove, and once done everything was back to normal, not that there was much to hear.
The memories of yesterday were not very pleasant or coherent, but they revealed the answer. This must be Echina’s hab, and this was her new room or prison cell, whatever one wished to call it. A rumble from her stomach proved the need for further exploration, after putting on some clothes left out for her Rosa moved towards the door. It was a good sign that the affini had found clothes from her apartment instead of trying to press on her some ridiculous companion dress.
Maybe Echina actually would keep her promise…what was she thinking? Of course, she would. There was no need to be so suspicious. The same could not be said for the door, it was far larger than the one in her apartment, one of the many telltale signs that this place was made for affini access. It opened without much issue, beyond it was a peculiar and enormous room.
It could easily fit her whole apartment times two inside of itself and still have room to spare, but that was not the most peculiar part. Every single inch of the wall was covered in bookshelves, from wall to wall, bottom to the very top of the roof. And each bookshelf was stacked with books, scrolls, documents in stacks, and strangely enough what seemed to be water containers with jellyfish. Except for the mountain of knowledge, there was a reading corner, and around the corner a standard kitchen….if five dozen cookbooks were part of the standard affini kitchen.
The size of the room and its furniture was not unexpected, but the supplementary furniture was not like she had seen in any other affini-dominated space. Next to most of the furniture, there was a human-sized equivalent, and where there was not, stairs and trap tools were supplied for human accommodation. Even the kitchen had a stepladder that could be moved along a rail without any effort. Echina was really trying….
The guilt spread deeper into her being, why had she been so repulsive towards her? To make sure Echina never saw how pathetic she really was, that was the simple truth. Her stomach rumbled again, its gnawing pain a nice distraction from the emotional one. Rosa walked up to the compiler and moved the stepladder to reach. Like most public compliers there would probably be some overly cutesy hab-ai voice “one glass of water, one portion of scrambled egg and bacon.” Here it comes…
“affirmative” the most monotone voice that Rosa had ever heard responded as her request was compiled. Her hab Ai was turned off, something that had required a long and arduous talk with an affini technical expert, not about how to turn it off, but why. Turing to this seemingly unemotional version might have been easier than convincing the affini that she never needed one in the first place.
With food secured, Rosa climbed up the stairs to the human-sized chair and began to eat. The headphones were off, but it was still remarkably quiet. Affini AC did not make sound unless one wanted them to, but she had gotten used to that….no there was something else missing. Rosa tried to put a finger on it while eating but everything seemed normal.
Suddenly one of the doors out of the room opened and a mass of vines, flowers, and needles shambled out. The light-red flowers and the vine’s shade of green indicated that it was Echina, though at the moment it was an abomination of horrific proportions….even then, it was quite pretty.
The vines recoiled together, and the whole form seemed to pull into itself before finally forming Echina’s normal humanoid visage. The affini looked profusely embarrassed “hi…..did not expect you up so early…..” There was something different about her voice, it resonated in a way Rosa had never noticed before…it was….beautiful. Echina suddenly looked concerned, like she had just remembered something “how are you feeling? Are you nauseous, dizzy, headache?” The affini moved closer and inspected her closely.
A bit too closely, Rosa pushed the affini gently away “I feel fi-….good, I’m good.” The affini backed off and took a seat on the other side of the table but did not look entirely convinced. Rosa looked around the room “thanks for redecorating and all of that, but you don’t need to put that much effort into accommodating me.” Her room looking like her old one, all the furniture being accessible, and even the hab-AI was modified for her benefit.
Echina frowned “no, I am taking care of you. Accommodating your needs is part of that responsibility. If there is anything more that I need to know, I expect you to inform me so I can act accordingly.” The message was rather stern in its delivery, something Echina must have realized because a smile quickly appeared on her face “now then, I am glad to see you have made yourself some breakfast. Well done~”……….seriously?
Did she just?... “Are you complimenting me for compiling breakfast? I am not that helpless.” It was frankly a bit demeaning even if it was meant as praise…so very much a standard affini compliment.
Once again her words garnered a frown from the affini, and an even sterner voice “Rosa. You have been through a very difficult time. Even doing simple tasks can be difficult and that is understandable. Making breakfast is not an extortionary achievement but persevering when times are tough is praiseworthy. Accept the compliment.” Her words left little left ground to argue against….and she had lost a few, perhaps even a good number of meals the last month.
But still “no, I won’t accept empty compliments you give just to make me feel better. Don’t talk down to me.” Ward of not, she still had dignity, a dignity tired of being dragged through the mud.
The bark-made eyebrows furrowed further and Echina's voice became more forceful “I am not talking down to you and the compliment is not empty, such thought patterns are not healthy for….” Rosa noticed that whatever had changed with Echina’s voice was even stronger now, it sounded so beautiful, even if the affini was chewing her out at the moment. The words reverberated in her mind, they did not make sense, but they felt so comfortable to listen to.
Whatever the affini was saying, it was probably important “………………………………..” but Rosa could not bring herself to care….the voice was just so nice…..her thoughts began to slow down, almost like she was about to fall asleep after a long day….the voice was so…. “…….?” Maybe she could listen to it a bit longer “……?!” Sure, it might be disrespectful….but the voice was so…so….s- “ROSA!” What!?
Rosa snapped to awareness and her subconscious immediately reported dissatisfaction with the abrupt removal of peace. Echina was staring down at her with a great deal of concern, but the frustration still lingered on her face….Had she spaced out just by listening to the affini talk? A blush began to spread in her cheeks “I…I don’t know what came over me…maybe I am still sleepy? Sorry, what did you say?”
Echina looked at her for a long moment, weighing her options “alright…I will explain again. You are my ward, I have the privilege and responsibility to make sure that you are well taken care of, and as my ward, you also have to do as I say. Your current way of treating positive reinforcement is unacceptable. I want you to say three positive things about yourself.” What a bunch of nonsense, who did Echina think she was?
The affini looked at her, awaiting a response….Rosa crossed her arms “really?” Echina nodded “now?” another nod. This was getting nowhere, and complying would not cost her too much “Fine! I’m good at reading, pretty smart and I have a low tolerance for bullshit. Satisfied?”
Echina's mouth twitched in mild amusement “very much, good job. We will repeat this exercise whenever you say something self-deprecatory or reject a compliment, understood?” She had always viewed Echina as different from other affini after their first meeting, less condescending and authoritative….and part of that had to be true, the promise not to domesticate her proved as much.
Rosa jumped down from the chair and threw her hands up “thank the stars! Any more pointless ‘exercises’ you would like to force upon me?” She gave the plant a sideways glance.
A vine moved forward it was coiled around a small container “yes, in fact, there is. According to your blood levels, you have forgotten several doses of your class-G regiment over the last few weeks.” Another tiny vine opened the container and curled around a single pill, Rosa reluctantly and with some shame opened her palm to receive it. The pill had a sweet cherry flavor compared to her normal tasteless ones.
Echina stood up and suddenly looked a smite bashful “one more thing” there was some clear hesitation “I would like to…pet you.” ………..had she heard that correctly?
The audacity of the statement slowed her reaction only by a few seconds “here you do all this stuff to make me feel accommodated and then you still want to treat me like some floret? Why?” What on Terra had possessed her to ask such a thing?
The affini chose her words carefully “humans, well…all sophonts generally, need physical affection to maintain good mental health...from the psych evaluation it was revealed that you have been starved for such affection for an unhealthy amount of time.” Part of her wanted to be offended but it was not like the analysis was inaccurate.
She gave her warden a long suspicious stare “so you want to pet me…for my own mental health?” The fact that the compact had seemingly conquered galaxies, including the accord, simply for petting other sophonts made the proposal suspect.
There was another short moment of hesitation “yes, we can try to accommodate your need in another way, but due to your social anxiety and gene-” She was not letting Echina spend more unnecessary time on her stubborn self.
“Fine! Okay, let’s just get this over with” Even if Echina got something out of it, who cared? Echina smiled enthusiastically and moved over to the couch. She sat down and patted the spot next to her with a vine. Rosa gave her a minor glare before walking up the stairs and sitting down, a sizeable distance away “I am not going to be nuzzling into your side like some class-A doped up floret, you have five minutes.” After crossing her arms, Rosa leaned back and closed her eyes, a determined frown on her face.
The presence of a massive hand could be felt just above her head “All right, but don’t hesitate to tell me to stop.” Rosa doubted she would get anything out of this, head pats were probably severely overrated. The hand descended and landed on her head, long warm fingers moving gently through her hair. It felt…nice, no doubt about that. But it was not like….like….what the…fuck? The fingers had begun to gently scratch her scalp, sending tingles of warmth and comfort down her spine.
Rosa felt her shoulders automatically relax, and as the tingles continued every muscle in her body followed suit. How….mhhhmh…how was this….so nice? It made no sense, or maybe….or maybe it did. Her thoughts were monetarily interrupted by a combined set of scratches along the back of her head, fuck….Echina was good at this. It had to be the result of the affini’s main pastime being such activities, they probably….probably….even had classes, or maybe even full mandatory education dedicated to this.
The hand easily enveloped the entire top of her head, it moved, and Rosa moved with it. It was more than just the nice sensation…there was something….something else. A warmth and vibration her mind could not help but want more of. It was becoming easier and easier to lean into the hand and wasn’t that part…of what the affini wanted…something about this impr…hmhmh…improving her mental health somehow….
Not that Echina was right….this was just nice, it was not like she needed this…..but maybe it wasn’t so bad. Rosa shuffled a bit closer, just to make it easier for the hand and the vibrations got stronger…a good amount of her focus was to not fall over to the side….and she couldn’t do that, because…because? Because it would look pathetic, she wasn’t desperate for this….she was just giving the affini what she wanted so she would be left alone….alone…..
The hand suddenly began to move away, Echina sounded very far away “oh, looks like I got a bit carried aw-” Rosa pulled the hand back onto her head, not that her arm had the strength to enforce its demand. There was a hint of surprise in the distant voice “Rosa? It has been over ten min-“
Could she not be silent for a few more minutes? “Shut up…..” Rosa could hear that her voice was slurred and slow but the rhythm that had only grown stronger and stronger drowned out any concern. She leaned closer and met resistance, something warm, smooth, and alive. There was a nice sweet and earthy smell….. and the source of the rhythm, music…..comfort was so close…and the head pats were….admittedly pretty nice. Maybe the floret obsession with them was not without some merit….not that she would ever sell her political rights and become a burden upon someone else just to receive them.
A vine moved around her wrist and pressed, not enough to hurt or even be uncomfortable, but enough for her to notice in her dazed state. After a second or two it moved away, and then the hand was removed from her head “I think that is enough for now.” But…..Rosa made an unsatisfied noise and nuzzled closer to the rhythm before finally opening her eyes.
Green vines and red flowers were closely pressed against her chin, it took a few seconds for her mind to even understand what the sight was telling her. Rosa scrabbled clumsily back, away from the affini who she had somehow gotten intimately close to “wha….how?” The affini had not moved her….had she gotten that close by herself? Why?
Echina stood up, a thoughtful frown on her face “it is worse than I thought, give me a second.” The affini moved towards Rosa’s room, giving her time to recuperate alone.
Her mind was getting back to normal, not that it was entirely pleasant to do so. Like there was an itch in the back of her mind that she could not reach. What was going on? First the strange dream, then Echina’s voice, and now this? Something was happening to her and….oh no….
It had to be her warden’s biorhythm, it was affecting her beyond a shadow of a doubt….How had she not realized sooner? All the research she had done into it said that once you had an implant you were basically addicted. But she did not have an implant, it should not make her act like this….But this was how wardships were supposed to work, right? The human would eventually become reliant on the affini for everything. The biorhythm was there to smooth the process along, and wear down any resistance.
Before her mind could begin to spiral Echina returned, the headphones that had been on her head when she woke were held in a vine “here put this on” The itch in the back of her mind was momentarily satisfied just listening to the affini. As soon as the headphones were on everything went silent, and the itch increased in irritation “can you hear me?” Echina’s lips moved but it was not her voice that she heard, it was tuned and mechanical….and entirely unsatisfactory.
Rosa nodded “yes….what are you doing to me?” Hadn’t Echina promised? Her mind was craving the sensation, the comfort, the…closeness already. As the affini moved forward, Rosa moved back on the couch, fear welling up in her mind. Part of her wanted to run, get away from whatever was happening to her. Another part wanted to curl up in a ball and weather the storm, whatever the consequences….and the last part wanted to take off the headphones and let Echina do whatever she wanted.
Echina sat down on the couch, far away…but still a threat. The affini’s form imitated sighing deeply “yesterday, when we took the rail you had a panic attack…as I did not have any other means I shielded you within me. And in the process accidentally exposed you to my core…that you then hugged and stayed close to for over an hour before I could pry you off. You had already started to synchronize your biorhythm to mine before that point…suffice to say your mind and body has acclimated to my presence.” Distant fragments of the dream returned to her…the sphere was…Echina’s core?
It did not sound like this had been on purpose…embarrassingly enough it sounded like she had caused the issue “I hugged your core?....sorry, I…” It was hard to know what part was worse, the fact she had done it without asking or that the affini had to pry her off afterward “I have no idea why…I am so sorry.” A red blush was spreading on her face.
There was no worry in Echina’s voice “nothing to apologize for…I will admit you were exceptionally adorable.” The embarrassment grew, when she had hugged the core and just now….she had been acting like a total, what did they call it…oh right, like a total seed! “Without the headphones, my voice and presence might be a bit…distracting at the moment. But in time you will desync from my biorhythm, and there shouldn’t be any negative side effects.” But….
This was too much “excuse me for a moment” Rosa grabbed the nearest pillow, pulled it to her face, and screamed. The embarrassment did not fully go away, but some of it had been released “sorry about that…are you certain that there are no side effects?” The affini stared at her utterly perplexed.
Then she looked thoughtful “you wouldn’t happen to be feeling a sort of…craving for it to return? With increased feelings of loneliness, vulnerability, and emotional pain?” How did she? Was that a common side effect? A relieved smile crossed the affini’s face “From your expression, I am going to take that as a yes. In that case, you have nothing to worry about, it is simply your mind craving hereunto unfulfilled emotional needs. While our biorhythms have the helpful quality of making other sophonts more…agreeable,” she was about to say obedient, wasn’t she “their main purpose is to make you feel safe, loved, and cared for. This might also explain why you synchronized so quickly to my biorhythm in the first place.” Wow, there was something special about an affini casually explaining your personal failings in such a casual tone.
Frustration began to burn within her “so all of this is because I am a lonely failure tha-“
Echina cut her off with a frustrated noise “no! that is not what I am saying. The fact that you have not had your emotional needs met is not your fault…” The affini put up three fingers “now, three self-compliments.” Fuck no, she was not doing that.
Rosa crossed her arms “No, I don’t care what you say. I should be able to fulfill my emotional needs on my own, no matter how useless you might think I am.” There was a flash of red in the affini’s eyes.
As she stood up an aura of domineering and threatening energy radiated from Echina “You are not useless, you are not a failure…If you don’t want to do this the easy way, we can do this the hard way instead.” Why could she not keep her mouth shut for one damn second? Echina moved closer, some of her flower’s blooming, displaying the needles in their center “I could take off those headphones, and you would listen to my every word without a moment of doubt. I bet you would like for me to do so as well.” That….wasn’t true, or at least it shouldn’t be. Her warden had a predatory grin, needle-sharp teeth revealed “it is tempting….but we will not be doing that.” Echina turned around and took up a data pad, the energy and tension in the room deflated in an instant.
Rosa could hear her heart beat in her chest…out of excitement or fear she did not know. Echina turned around, her expression stern but normal, there was no trace of the hungry predator from only a moment ago “allowing you to be affected by my biorhythm will slow the desynchronization, so you will listen to someone else instead. Let's see here….” She began to swipe away at the data pad “here, this should work wonderfully.” What the hell was she talking about?
The frustration that had been mercilessly crushed a few seconds ago returned “could you at least explain what the fuck you are going to do to me?” The affini was entirely unconcerned.
She only smiled, and made a final tap on the data pad “all you need to do is to lie there and listen while I go get some new grafts for your class-S and G.” So Echina was going to do even more for her…and apparently did not think she could handle her class-Gs on her own.
Rosa had always imagined that being a ward would be a humiliating affair, but this was far worse. Suddenly there was a sort of humming noise breaking through the silence, it was slow and rhythmic. It had to be the headphones, without thinking about it her hands went to them and she tried to pull them off….they were stuck “what the hell! Get these off!” There was something strange about the humming music.
Echina shook her head “no, they are staying on and I can promise you will not succeed in trying to take them off.” like the matter was settled, the affini moved to the door.
Was she just going to leave? “Authoritarian…”
Echina turned around and gave her a final concerned look “maybe…but you need this. Goodbye, see you soon.” And then…she was gone.
Not wasting a second, several attempts were made to remove the headphones and their insidious music, to no avail. They were like glued to her head and for some reason, she was beginning to feel tired…it had been an emotional and stressful morning “~hello little flower~” The harmonic and overly affectionate voice of an affini suddenly joined the music. What the “~this automated hypnotic therapy will help drive those bad thoughts away, making you understand that you are loved and valued~” That certainly explained things “Please find a nice place to relax while listening. Maybe your bed, the couch, or your owner’s arms~” Did Echina really think this was going to work?!
This was not happening, Rosa jumped down from the couch and made another attempt to get the headphones off, they didn’t even budge….Well, no matter. She could ignore whatever bullshit the affini with the far too pretty voice was going to tell her “~It can be hard to relax at first and that is okay. You deserve to rest. To let your tired legs, arms and back find something soft to lean on.” Nope, she was not listening….the couch had begun to look awfully tempting. Best to find somewhere else, her room contained the bed, and this room was filled with comfortable-looking chairs.
There was only one door left that did not lead to the outside, the door Echina had come out of earlier this morning. Was it an invasion of privacy? Sure, but this whole situation was an invasion of hers.
Rosa forced herself away from the couch and opened the door on the other side of the room, it was surprisingly boring. There was a desk with a bunch of paperwork, data pads, and…more books, how many did Echina own? There was also a large round platform hanging from the ceiling, was that where Echina slept? Some paintings and framed pictures were hung on the wall, along with some potted plants. There was nothing she could relax on, perfect “~allow your muscles to loosen and drain off all tension, becoming more relaxed the more you focus on it~” oh shut up….
Her limbs were beginning to feel heavy…so…fucking heavy and tired, star damned affini manipulation…The floor did not look too hard…what was she thinking? There was no way she was sleeping on the floor. Rosa walked aimlessly around the room some more, trying to ignore the ever-present music humming in her ears and her legs screaming for her to lie down. As she was trying to see what was on top of the platform hanging above her, something caught her vision.
On the other side of the desk, hidden from view when she came in…no, please no. The pet bed had the shape of a large and gray fluffy donut. Fluffy was perhaps an understatement, it looked like one could drown in it…no, no, no. There was no chance she would….even if she was tired there was just no way- “it's okay to want to resist…but would it not” please… “be so much nicer to give in?~” Why did that sound so tempting?
Rosa took a step towards the bed, lying down would not necessarily mean that she did what the affini wanted her to do “~so tired, so sleepy, so tempting to just let all the tension go~” The thought to go back to the couch crossed her mind, but the pet bed was right there…and it looked so soft. It felt like she had iron weights tied to her feet, each step more difficult than the last “~almost there~” She hesitated…wasn’t she supposed to be stronger than this?...fuck it.
Falling into the pet bed was like landing on a cloud. The fluff absorbed the impact, she could probably have landed from several meters up and still felt nothing…not that she felt nothing. The bed was softer than anything had a good reason to be, not as soft as…nope, not thinking about that. Still, soft as fuck was the only reasonable way to describe it. The slight slope in the middle made her slip in fully, her entire body fully engulfed by the fluff.
It could take her frustratingly long to find a good position in bed, but here it shaped to her body perfectly. The aching of her limbs and back contrasted with the supernatural levels of comfort, it did not last long. in just a few moments the aching began to dissipate “~good girl~” wha…a blush spread on her face “~such a good girl, resting like you deserve~” why…why did these affini always assume she deserved everything?
The music changed slightly, the beats becoming clearer and more powerful “~as you relax, try to stay awake and listen to my voice~” …it would be so easy to fall asleep... and wasn’t she supposed to be ignoring the affini? But ignoring the affini did not mean doing the opposite of what they were saying, maybe she wanted to stay awake because…the bed was so darn comfortable…yes, that made sense.
The affini continued to talk in that far too beautiful voice “~I want you to focus on your mind, envision it like a sky filled with clouds~” There was something about the voice that made it very hard to ignore, maybe she should have brought a distraction….getting up would require far too much effort “~most of the clouds are beautiful white fluffy ones…but there are also gray stormy ones. The ones that tell you that you are not enough, don’t deserve the positive things that come your way, that you’re not doing enough~” Wow, thanks for the reminder plant lady “all those dark thoughts? just stilly internalized lies~” There was almost a playful tone to her voice.
Was this plant seriously going to psychoanalyze her? “~ it's not your fault, it is in your nature to rationalize why the world is not how it should be. Why your life is more difficult than you want it to be.” And those rationalizations were right…. “~natural…and very silly~ You don’t control all of the universe, do you? Are you in charge of how everyone else behaves and the random whims of the solar winds? Of course, not~ no one does.”….but she could influence it to be better…right? “~You don’t control the world sweetie, and you don’t need to~” but…but she could “~it will be hard to accept, to give up that fictional control you believe you are responsible for. But I know you can do it…why you ask? ~Because good girls don’t believe in silly lies, and you….are a very good girl~” Rosa felt something misty in her eyes.
The affini was not supposed to be making sense… “do you see those dark nasty clouds? How they block out the fluffy white ones…how easy they are to focus on…So heavy and burdensome with pain. Soon you will be able to drive them away, all by yourself…but right now, I will help you.” That sounded nice…
Rosa nuzzled closer into the pet bed allowing her mind to drift along with the music and the voice “you see that first stormy cloud? Maybe it’s telling you that you don’t deserve me helping you? What a silly little cloud~ I care about you, like so many others in your life and we all know that you deserve help when you need it. Could you repeat for me? ‘I deserve help’, just like that~”
Her lips parted before Rosa even realized what she was doing “I…Deserve help…” A few tears ran down her cheeks and onto the fluff.
The voice of the affini turned warmer than Rosa had ever thought possible “good girl! You can see it, can’t you…the dark cloud fading away into nothing. Such a good girl~” why...no…she wasn’t…aghhhhhh, Rosa fumbled around in gay fluster until the affini spoke again “but there are still some dark clouds here, and it would be so much prettier with fluffy white ones instead, don’t you think?~ You see the second one? Maybe it represents a mistake you made, perhaps even several. Projects that didn’t go as planned, people you feel like you disappointed, someone you upset….It’s okay, they don’t define you, they don’t make you a worse person. Success does not increase your worth and neither do mistakes lower it. Can you repeat for me again? “Mistakes don’t define my worth’” didn’t they? ....Rosa hesitated “I want you to repeat after me ‘mistakes don’t define my worth’” The voice had suddenly turned more forceful, an indescribable power within them.
Rosa’s mind held for a moment before it buckled “…mistakes don’t…define me…” another of the dark clouds drifted away.
The affini sounded so proud “~good girl~ there are almost no clouds left, you have been such a good girl~” The emotional relief mixed with the fluster in a strange concoction of emotions “~only one left and your mind will be peaceful and fluffy~ This last one is all about others. That somehow you don’t deserve when they care for you, that you don’t deserve their love, another silly little lie. You don’t make yourself deserving of love or care, it is something everyone should have. Be a good girl for me and repeat ‘I deserve to be loved’.” She wanted to be a good girl….
Maybe it was okay to listen to the affini “I deserve...to be loved.” Her mind eagerly awaited the response.
And it came immediately “~gooood girl~ I am so proud of you! isn’t it nice to have your mind so calm and empty of all those nasty thoughts? Such a good girl, making all those dark clouds go away. You don’t have to do anything else, in fact, it might be nice to let your mind empty and listen to my words.” Empty mind…listen to the voice…
Her mind was moving so slowly, not even recognizing her mouth hanging slightly open “~you are such a pretty girl, you know that?” pretty?.... “~Well of course you are, such a cute and pretty girl~” pretty… “and nice, you are such a nice girl as well~” she tried…“Only a very nice girl would listen to all I have said so obediently~” nice girl… “your also a very smart girl, seeing through all those lies and following along to my voice so well.” Smart girl… “~there are so many nice things I could say about you that it would take forever…but there is one collective term for it, and you know what it is….you can prove it by saying it yourself~” a collective term?….
Oh…”I’m a good girl.” Rosa said happily, a smile on her face.
Chapter 7: Gay plant
Chapter Text
-------------------Centhia, North New Bergen, Near Domestication center 4C, 24.04.2555, 11:48----------------
After collecting the rest of Rosa’s documents at the domestication center, Echina made her way to the grafting station. She had intended to go there first but it was essential to make sure that the Class-G matched with Rosa’s prescription. It was not that she did not trust the Human to not take her medicine but having some directly on vine would not hurt either.
It was a beautiful day, the sun shining brightly in a cloudless sky. Echina took a moment to absorb the sunshine, her form reinvigorated by its warmth. Like usual her thoughts did not wander far from the human in her care, maybe eating out would be a nice distraction from this morning’s peculiar nature. Rosa’s self-esteem was worse than she had thought, and the girl’s pride did not make correcting that much easier.
Echina had no wish to trample over Rosa’s freedom without cause, as so many others of her kind would have done. At the same time, it was a practice or culture even, that had emerged not without reason…a reason Rosa regrettably was a part of. It would have to be a careful balance between allowing Rosa the dignity she wanted and teaching her the lessons she needed.
The biorhythm problem was another cause for concern. It displayed how tragically emotionally neglected the human had been. The strength of the synchronization was greater than what she had expected. Echina had seen sophonts react to her biorhythm before but not to this extent, it had only taken a few seconds for Rosa to space out and let her barriers fall. Not that letting those barriers fall had been negative, Rosa allowing herself to receive some emotional attention was as important as it had been adorable. There was a real temptation to use the biorhythm to help the human accept her worth.
But if she did use her biorhythm, it would likely be seen as a betrayal or effort at manipulation…the latter not being half-wrong. Rosa’s trust was tenuous at best, any risk to it would just cause further complications…maybe she was thinking too much about this.
It was only the first day of Rosa being her ward, it was expected to take some time for the human to acclimate. A calm discussion around these issues would sort it out for sure. Rosa might be stubborn, but not unreasonable…most of the time. Why the girl could not accept that she was adorable and incredible beyond belief was a staggering testament to how poorly the humans’ previous society had been constructed.
Echina began to move again, taking a look at her datapad to make sure that Rosa was doing well. The monitoring armbands displayed a calm mental state, steady heartbeat, and no chemical imbalance from adrenaline or other unneeded chemicals. The automatic hypnotherapy was in its fourth loop after its relaxation module had finished. It was hard to tell if Rosa was asleep or still deep into trance, letting the audio run a while longer wouldn’t be a problem.
She had not left the hab on the best of terms with the human…and that stung. There was certainly another appeal to the old fashion way of handling xenos. Forcing them to understand their best interest instead of nudging them gently towards it was far more trying. In the end thought it was Rosa’s best interest, not her own that mattered. Even if the human was angry with the more forceful nudges, Echina could weather it.
Finally, there it was. The appearance of the grafting station was a welcome distraction from the current rail of thought. Most grafting stations were quite clinical in nature, this one looked more like a…saloon? The outside was flushed with flowers painted on the old concrete walls. Real plants were clustered in front of the building in a configuration Echina could only describe as artistic, forming a curved pathway to the door. Was this the right place? A quick check of the data pad proved it to be true…strange.
Echina entered, there was a small *pling* from a bell as the door opened. The inside was filled with yet more flowers in all colors and descriptions, harvested from countless worlds or engineered into existence. An affini perked up from the sea of color <welcome!> It was difficult to tell what was the most striking about the cheerful voice’s source. The 11..no 12 different water cans each controlled by a separate vine? The large straw hat with a red bow and white flower on the affini’s head? Or maybe the expression beneath said hat that was fighting hard to imprint itself as the most cheerful and optimistic one Echina had ever seen?
Either way, the force of pure uncorrupted happiness was making its way towards her <So nice of you to come, take a seat and I will be right with you.> Seat? The paper detailing the grafting request Echina had stretched out was obliviously ignored. Her gaze was guided by a helpful vine filled with yellow flowers towards a set of chairs on the other side of the room…why did she have to sit down?
This indicated that it would take longer than expected <I don’t need something….whatever you are offering…I need these two grafts and that is it. I can do it myself if you have something else to do.> She had done grafting on herself before, it was not that complicated a process.
The cheerful affini turned around <if you are not pressed for time I would much advise some more specialized service. It is very relaxing, and you look like you could use it…> The hopeful and earnest tone of the voice was hard to turn down…but what was ‘you look like you could use it’ supposed to mean? Unable to stare into the concerned eyes of the other affini any longer Echina relented and took a seat. The chair was rather large and comfortable, a good place to relax one’s vines.
The explanation of the grafting operator’s words was revealed by the mirror in front of the chair. She did not look that good…Her form was far from tidy, vines not meshing correctly all over, it gave her a rather rugged look. Several of her flowers were hanging or wilted altogether…How long had she looked like this? It was the obvious signs of stress, emotional or physical exhaustion, and concern. That was at least what she would have thought had she seen the same symptoms on a stranger.
A ball of black and yellow fluff was moved up to her chair <~hello! My name is kuzie! Do you want zome mineralized water?~> The beeple floret spoke with great speed and enthusiasm. Some of the concern in her core melted upon the sight, how cute!
Echina stretched down a hand and the beeple began to nuzzle into it <that…actually sound very nice, could you get me something with extra potassium?> There was presumably a nod added along with the nuzzles as they soon managed to tear themselves away, and after buzzing and vibrating in the most adorable show of gratitude walked away.
The operator returned from behind <aren’t they just the cutest?> Echina muttered a reply, suddenly very conscious of her beleaguered form. The affini began to detangle her grafted vines out and rested them over the top of the chair <these don’t seem to be much used…and it is a very sparse collection. Have you been stuck on a scouting mission or something equally isolated?> There was no judgment in their voice, but Echina could not help but feel some shame.
It had been three years since she transferred to Terran space and during that time she had spent time on both populated ships and planets. Her xenodrug repertoire was bare branch: some class-Z and E, in addition to healing sap for both humans and rinans. It was not that she was not social, she just spent more time with her books than with other sophonts. She had planned on getting a floret and the grafts needed for them…but somewhere along the way that project had sidetracked and halted…after meeting Rosa….best not to think about that. Her reply was awkwardly late <no, I…um simply have not had the need for anything else.> The grafter nodded and continued to work.
Once all of the relevant vines were detangled, they beamed at her <So what do you want? We have a very wide collection of grafts here.> Echina could finally hand over the document <hmmm…Some class-S to prevent sensory overload…and some very generic feminizing class-G.> A grin spread on the affini’s face <Oh! Have you gotten yourself a floret?>
What? Her vines stiffened in surprise <no, she is just my ward…nothing more.> Before the other affini could pry anymore, the beeple floret returned a small but delectable-looking bowl of water in their hands. Their mixtress placed the bowl next to the chair and Echina slipped a vine in <ahhh, this was just what I needed. Thanks, little one~> There was something delightfully refreshing about high potassium water, and this beeple had gotten the mix just right.
The beeple buzzed excitedly <could I plz nuzzle on your lap?> How was one to say no to such a cute request? Using her available vines, the floret was placed in her lap where they lay down and vibrated gently in satisfaction. A few gentle strokes over its body, and some scratches between their antenna and it buzzed happily….what a treasure.
The grafter had returned with a few dozen plants in her vines <I know you said you only wanted two, but might I tempt you with some more? even if she is simply your ward at the moment that could change…and you don’t want to disappoint if she wants to try something, now do you?> Echina raised an eyebrow, the likelihood of Rosa asking for xenodrugs was astronomically low.
The affini was not discouraged <at least get some class-A. You can’t cuddle your floret properly without some class-A, don’t you agree kuzie?> The floret in her lap buzzed in agreement, nuzzling into her hand for more pets.
Echina sighed <she is not that type of ward. By the end of this she will be independent, and she has no interest in those types of activities.> as long as her biorhythm did not influence the human that was.
They looked slightly more thoughtful as they began to graft some class-G onto one of her vines <you are concerned for her, aren’t you?> ……of course she was….but it was going to be fine.
There was a minute sting as one of her vines was cut off to be replaced by another <She has been through a difficult time, that is all. Soon things will be better.> It had to be, Echina would not accept failure in this.
The grafter began applying the new vine <and what about yourself? How are you doing? Worrying for a xeno one cares for can be very draining.> it wasn’t that bad, she was fine….
Echina focused on petting the beeple for a while, letting her mind drift while adoring the floret. Her mind could not help but circle back to Rosa…was she really this obsessed? Obsession was not the right word, protectiveness might be more accurate. Rosa had suffered too much already, suffering that she should have been there to prevent. The memory of Rosa collapsed on the stairs, blood drenching her clothes, confusion and fear in her eyes….<I can’t graft properly if your flowers are wilting on top of my work.> Another, perhaps more forceful sting ripped Echina out of the memory.
She forced her mind onto something else, the new curriculum for the university was coming along well. And there was a cute floret in her lap…<the last couple of weeks have been difficult…I want her to bloom into the happiness she deserves, but it seems that both she and the universe is stubbornly resisting that outcome.> The beeple crawled a bit further into her arms, blinking with large sympathetic eyes.
The grafter sighed in agreement < sometimes it does seem that way. You and she will find your way through this. But ignoring your own well-being and wants will not help her, remember that. Could I at the very least offer you this delightful class-J? it is a rather light variant, with not that long ramp-up and a very short come-down period. Perfect for someone who needs to relax.> Was that last part for herself or Rosa?...Class-J was the fallback method….was accepting such a source of temptation a good idea?
Echina shuddered <fine, add it on. But that is it…I need to return home before she gets hungry.> The affini grinned and began her work once more while humming a tune, the beeple floret soon joined in the melody with a low buzz.
Allowing herself to relax and listening to the cheerful melody was surprisingly reliving, there had been far more tension in her form than she had realized. The feeling of her form connecting with the new grafts was also nice, something fresh and unexplored. And while she had no illusions that the class-J graft would be used, the pink white flower it came with was beautiful in its own right. Part of her was even a bit sad when the grafter told her they were done and showed her the result. The slight temptation to ask for class-A as well was ignored, she needed to get back to Rosa.
Echina gave the floret some last scritches before saying goodbye to the pair. When she came out of the establishment, her form felt much more ready to take on the rest of the day. There was still some lingering anxiety about Rosa’s awakening, that anger would be potent to be sure. The graft station was not far away from her hab, the walk back was maybe shorter than she would have liked.
A last check of Rosa’s state proved it had not changed, though it was clear she was asleep at this point. It was beginning to be time for lunch, she could make some food and let the human sleep until it was done, after making sure she was fine first of course.
The door to the hab opened…strange, Rosa was not on the couch….Maybe she had gone to bed. Echina cautiously entered the human’s room….not there either. Where could she be? There were no obvious hiding places in either the main room, or Rosa’s bedroom. That only left her own….but why would Rosa be there?
With the certainty that Rosa had not left the hab, Echina entered her slumber chamber. Again there were no obvious signs of the human in her care…so unless she had somehow gained access to the platform 2,5 meters up….that only left….
Echina found the human sleeping softly in the ped bed next to her desk. The relaxed expression, the subtle smile, the hands clutching gently at the fluff around her, the almost inaudible muttering, the messy hair…..Echina stood there and observed in silence for a good 10 minutes, frozen solid by the sight.
She had seen supernovas blast into glorious light before they collapse into black holes. Inspected the greatest of affini megastructures harnessing the energy of stars. Traveled core worlds where peace had reigned for a hundred thousand years. Stood in fear and awe of affini ships built for war with potential yet unmet threat. Walked in gardens comprised of every flower and fauna their civilization had found, composed like the most magnificent work of art.
Nothing could compare with the beauty of what lay before her. Her core thrummed with such unprecedented joy at the sight, that for a moment Echina was afraid Rosa might wake from the vibrations alone. This had to be maintained, of that there was no question. No sacrifice, burden, or hardship could be bad enough to even spark an evaluation if a future where this sight was present was worth their necessity.
The back of her mind told her how to secure that future. How to ensure that Rosa would always sleep in such a manner, without worry…..No. That was not what she had promised and not what Rosa needed. The fact that Rosa was like this without a collar around her neck was proof enough. So…how to proceed?
The affini was becoming ever more aware of her own immobility, her form craved some kind of action. The instinct was to dote on the human for several hours, treasure her like she was the most beautiful and adorable thing to grace the galaxy…as was the truth. But no, Rosa would not appreciate that…so maybe she should leave her alone…..no that was not right either.
Rosa probably ended up in the floret bed because of the relaxation module of the hypnotherapy. When the human awoke she would certainly be very embarrassed, that would be cute to witness but not nice to let happen, as Rosa would know she had spotted her sleeping there. Disturbing Rosa was also not an option…it simply was not. In the end, Echina decided to move the human very carefully over to her own bed.
With the most tender vines possible she lifted Rosa out of the bed and into her arms…how could she be this lucky? The human almost did not react beyond a few more audible muttering about ‘good gi…’ the rest was inaudible. The walk over to Rosa’s room was careful and far too short, Echina positively entranced by the beauty in her arms. It took great self-discipline to put her down on the bed and let her vines…oh. Somehow the girl had managed to grab hold of a vine, clutching, and pressing her face close to it.
There was a brief moment of panic before she extended two of her vines out to the living room. The compiler was given a remote command for ‘default 100cm plushie’ and her vines brought it back. Ah, a beeple, it looked quite similar to kuzie at the graft station. Tiny delicate vines swapped the large vine Rosa had clamored to with the large plushie. Finally, Echina tucked the sheets over the peaceful human and in a moment of weakness, gave her a kiss on the forehead. Rosa smiled gently in response, so cute!
No, she was getting too close. Echina pulled back rapidly, resisting the black hole power of Rosa’s cuteness. Only when the door was closed behind her could the affini let her form relax…that had been close. Now, what would Rosa like to eat? A search of the human’s records found a very sordid selection, with the expectations of what had to be the different comfort meals she made for her friends. The latter were good-looking meals, but not the right ones at this time…luckily the overnet had thousands of friendly suggestions. One affini chef recommended something called pasta alfredo, it did not look very healthy…the perfect comfort meal for her little human.
------------------------Centhia, North New Bergen, Hab complex Ceria, 24.04.2555, 14:15--------------------------
Rosa woke feeling more relaxed than she had in ages. Every limb, joint, and muscle was free of aches and tension. She was safely under the wonderfully soft covers, snuggling close to something soft and….snuggling? The urge to open her eyes clashed with the temptation of letting it be. It was nice, could that not be all that mattered? For once, temptation won out and Rosa allowed herself to snuggle whatever was in her grip a bit longer.
A small part of her mind reminded her of how she had fallen asleep, by listening to insidious affini propaganda about…what had it been? Something about clouds, and good girls? “I’m a good girl”……What the fuck had she just said? The blanket of drowsiness and calm over her mind was ripped of in an instant. Wait, was she still in the…
Her eyes sprang open, and Rosa raised herself in the bed….a completely normal bed…why had she thought that she had fallen asleep in a pet bed? Was it even real? Rosa looked down, there was a plushie in the shape of those cute affini-related aliens….a blush began to spread on her face, fluster growing second by second. Had Echina given her a plushie? That she had just accepted in her sleep? And then snuggled with for stars know how long?!
Thankfully the plushie absorbed her scream of embarrassment just as well as any pillow. Or maybe that was just the headphones…nope, Echina had not come running through the door, so it had remained a silent scream. Her first instinct was to get up and chew Echina out for treating her like this, she was not a floret…and also did want the affini to burden herself with such silly considerations.
But if Echina had done all of this of her own free will…maybe it was okay? It still felt wrong to allow the affini to worry about her but resisting it had not deterred her. The plushie was perhaps slightly condescending, or was it? Rosa could not deny that it was nice to hold, and she had displayed how embarrassingly touch-starved she was. Echina could no doubt have had her asleep in her massive vine-made arms instead….
Rosa pressed that thought out of her mind and got to her feet, yawning while still holding the plushie in her arms. She rubbed her eye with one hand just as the door to the bedroomed opened and Echina entered….they stared at each other for a moment. The affini’s eyes filled with adoring delight as Rosa remembered that she was still holding the beeple plushie. She gently put it down on the bed before clearing her throat “ummmm, what time is it?”
Echina smiled and spoke, “it is 14:23, I have made you some food, are you feeling hungry?” The robotic voice from the headphones was not what she was expecting, there was a tinge of disappointment in the back of her mind. A smell came from the living room…oh stars. If she was not hungry before, she sure as hell was now.
She followed the affini out of the room and towards the dining table. Each step up the staircase to the chair brought her closer and closer to the sweet, salty, and buttery smell. The plate was filled with pasta, coated in a thick white sauce. Cheese was not really something she liked, it was too fatty and had a very unpleasant consistency. There was one major exception to this rule, parmesan. The cheese was a rare luxury good, imported from the farm world Cebrex were a single corporation had limited the supply to keep the price up. The dish in front of her smelled so strongly of the cheese that it probably would have cost a month’s rent to make before the invasion.
She gave Echina a quick glance “can I?....” The meal almost felt bourgeoise in nature to eat for lunch.
The affini’s eyes twinkled “of course, I did not make it to be decompiled. Eat as much as you want…I can make more..” That was too much, Rosa held up a hand and nodded before digging into the meal. Oh….it was so goooood! The texture, the taste, the consistency; it was perfect! Rosa devoured the meal, closing her eyes to fully relish each forkful.
When she finally took a pause, she noticed that Echina was doing something on her data pad while at the same time stealing glances at her regularly. Rosa slowed down her eating considerably “what are you doing on the data pad?”
The data pad was put into a compartment in Echina’s body “research on similar foods. You seem to enjoy this meal a lot, I plan to enjoy making more that you will enjoy with as much gusto.” Again, rose felt her face heat up in a blush, maybe she had eaten too recklessly.
Also, did Echina expect to make all the food? “You know I can feed myself right? We can split who makes dinner and lunch.” Being a ward did not mean she was helpless and having someone else make food for her would probably not help her in adjusting to living on her own later.
The affini raised an eyebrow “if you allow it I would very much like to make your food, seeing you enjoy it is a delight. But I see no reason why you can’t help.” ….That was surprisingly reasonable.
The memories of how she had acted during the morning hours pressed themselves to the forefront of her mind “this was very delicious…by the way, sorry about how I acted earlier today. I don’t appreciate the weird audio file you made me listen to, but I know I was being stubborn and difficult…..sorry.” The last mouthful of food still on the plate had suddenly become very interesting to inspect.
A vine moved onto her shoulder “it is fine, you are in a new situation after a difficult time. Some negative reaction is bound to happen.” That wasn’t fair, Echina was not supposed to forgive her and then be considerate again.
Rosa forced herself to look up into the beautiful affini eyes “an explanation is not the same as an excuse, I am already causing you problems. I don’t want to burden you any more than I do currently.“ A vine moved in front of her lips and for a moment Echina’s eyes flashed green.
The affini shook her head “you are not causing me problems or being a burden. It is a privilege to take care of you and give you the affection you need. I accepted your apology, that is the end of it. Now, how do you feel?” The vine was removed but the eyes continued to glow.
It took a few seconds before Rosa managed to tear her eyes away from the glowing orbs and stammer “b-..better….I guess…” Why was Echina looking at her in that way making her behave like this?
A few of Echina’s vines wiggled as she spoke “That is very good to hear. There is still a lot of the day left, is there something you want to do?”
Echina was giving her options? “What can I do? I thought I was your ward and all that.” From how it was described there was almost no freedom given to the wards, maybe she would be allowed to read a book?
There was a humorous giggle from Echina “you are not my prisoner, you can go for a walk if you want. But if you are to go outside without me I need you to stay within the Melius district.” So, she could just walk outside the hab without supervision?
Rosa halted slightly “that is nice…but why do I have to stay in the district? Why can’t I visit the university if I want?” Apparently, there was freedom…but a tightly controlled freedom.
Echina’s eyes took on a deep blue color “it is not that I don’t trust you…but you have already been attacked twice. I can not allow that to happen again, this district is safe. The rest of the city will be safe too soon, but at the moment I can’t put you in potential harm's way.” Even with the mechanical voice, there was clearly some guilt in her expression “we can go to the university or any other place you want to go, but then I need to accompany you.” it was hard to argue against the plant’s logic, meeting more rebels that no doubt wanted her dead was not tempting.
Even with Echina’s reassuring words, the feeling would not go away “could I do something for you? some way to reciprocate what you are doing for me….” Avoiding the affini’s gaze she ate the last fork of pasta, the cheese had almost solidified.
When she looked up, Echina had gotten a hungry look in her now shining amber eyes, some of her flowers blooming and revealing the needles within. The next second it was gone, replaced by a considering frown “as long as you understand you don’t need to do anything to earn my affection and care I have nothing against it. Actually, there has been something I have wished to ask you to help with. I am working on the curriculum for the university reopening, it would be great if you could go over it with me and….help remove any unintended condescending language.” The alien hunger was gone, but desire, if more domestic, still resided in those beautiful eyes.
Ignoring the strange feelings in her stomach, Rosa considered the proposal. Not only had Echina accepted her request, but it was not a demeaning task either “insulted students can be hard to teach, I think that is a very good idea…as long as the rest of your kind is okay with a political dissident having a hand in the curriculum.” Education was an important tool for propaganda, even at the highest of levels….and with her conduct, some affini might have second thoughts.
Echina smiled warmly “The responsibility still falls to me, just speak your mind freely. I would also like to say that I am very happy you are here.” The smile and words trumped the mechanical voice and Rosa’s mind decided to fluster itself into knots. The affini was clearly amused at her blushing silence, at least she could not see her feet shuffling over each other franticly beneath the table.
Several deep breaths later Rosa calmed down, washing down the embarrassment with a glass of water “we can work on the curriculum now and then later I think I want to go for a walk alone, clear my head a bit.” Echina responded with an affirming hum that translated into a single flat buzz.
The mechanical-sounding voice was beginning to grate on her nerves, it matched so poorly with how beautiful it had been before….Rosa forced down another blush created by her own thoughts “ahm…before we start, could you do something about the headphones? It is very strange to listen to you when you sound like that.” Echina fished up the data pad once more and began typing away, Rosa could feel the input from the headphones change as she did so.
After a few far too long moments Echina spoke “is this better?” There was more emotion and timbre to the voice, but still…not as melodic as before…..That was good, it would hasten the desynchronization process and she wanted that…she wanted that. Rosa gave a nod, putting any of those thoughts into words would be unendingly embarrassing.
With the problem solved, Echina decompiled the plate and moved over to one of the several reading chairs in the room. Next to the large one was an exact replica but human-sized, Rosa had to admit it was sort of cute to see them side by side. She looked up at her warden, there was a gentle smile on her face that had previously been occupied by a constantly worried frown. The fear and discomfort from the thought that Echina’s view of her had been greatly diminished by her actions were starting to lessen. Maybe making the best of this wardship affair as Echina had suggested before was not such a bad idea. Perhaps it was more like having a roommate than being a prisoner, even if her roommate was a 3.5-meter tall plant lady with far too pretty eyes.
Chapter 8: Going for a walk in the chilly autumn breeze
Chapter Text
------------------------Centhia, North New Bergen, Hab complex Ceria, 24.04.2555, 18:18--------------------------
Rosa yawned and fluttered her eyes open, the chair she was sitting in was dangerously comfortable. An incredibly soft blanket was wrapped around her, but not restrictive. As her eyes blinked the fog of sleep away she noticed Echina sitting in the far larger chair next to her, the affini was looking at her with a warm expression. She stretched and straightened up in the chair “did I fall asleep?”
Echina smiled “yes, I believe it was when we came to the subject of interstellar logistics that you nodded off.” Right, they had been working through the curriculum and weeding out possible condescending language.
Hold on! Rosa was suddenly wide awake “I was supposed to help you, why did you let me sleep?”
The affini looked away, some of her flowers blooming “well….I didn’t notice at first and once you were asleep….” There was a moment of hesitation “you were simply too cute to wake. We had already gone through a lot, you have been a massive help.” Too cute?
It was now Rosa’s turn to look away, hiding her blush “if you say so…but I already fell asleep once before today, I should have managed to stay awake. Sorry.” She was not supposed to be this lazy, spending half the day sleeping was unacceptable.
Unsurprisingly Echina did not agree “sleep deprivation and burnout will cause such effects, there is nothing to be ashamed about. I have met plenty of florets who sleep whenever they wish with no consequence.” It took a few seconds for the affini to realize what she had insinuated “not that you are a floret or anything like that. I only meant that as long as it is done in a healthy manner there is no need to follow the strict sleep schedule your species have employed. In fact, it seems to mostly be a product of this nine to seven work system.” Rosa could not help but chuckle, Echina was pretty cute when embarrassed.
She got up from the chair “I think I will go for that walk now, clear my head and all that.” As she walked to the door Echina got up and followed her.
A vine picked up a decorated denim jacket from a post next to the door “it is a bit chilly out so you will need this.” Before it was handed to her Echina inspected the jacket, a vine trailing over the dozens of buttons, painted on marking and sewn on cloth stickers “did you make this yourself? It is adorable!” She made a noise not dissimilar to a squeal.
Rosa tried to ignore the fact that Echina found the ‘rough and revolutionary’ style of the jacket adorable “yes, I made it…proud of it as well, thanks for bringing it over.” She honestly did not own that many clothes and this jacket were one of her few.
Her rather dry response did not go unnoticed “did I say adorable? I mean it is very…bad ass?” Rosa put on the jacked while stifling a laugh, did Echina even know what that meant? Probably not, but A for effort. The affini brushed a bit of her unkempt hair away from her face “dinner will be ready in an hour or so, and please stay within-“
Now she was overbearing, Rosa pushed the vine away “the Melius district, I know. There will probably be an affini wherever I look, I’ll be safe, ok?” Thinking of the floret saturation made the walk suddenly a bit less appealing. Rosa exited the hab, finding herself in a huge corridor and taking one last look back.
Echina smiled warmly, her eyes a light amber color “very good, enjoy your walk. Don’t be afraid to ask any affini for help if you get lost…also the elevators are to the left. Oh and one more thing.” The affini found her data pad and a second later the headphones loosened on Rosa’s head, a gentle vine removed them “you don’t need these outside.”
Hearing Echina’s true voice once more was wonderful, and the soft hum in the background was so…nope. Rosa nodded and started to walk to the elevator at a rapid pace.
The size of the corridor and doors gave Rosa the distinct feeling of being half her actual height. This did not change when she reached the elevator and had to stretch to press the button. Half a second later the door opened, the button to get to the first floor was luckily the one furthest down.
Once out Rosa took special notice to examine her surroundings, finding a small plaque reading Ceria habitation center next to the entrance. She had no intention of asking anyone for the way back but keeping it in mind wouldn’t hurt. With her hands in her pockets, Rosa began a leisurely stroll in a random direction, with her eyes trained on the ground in front of her.
The affini sure did know how to make streets, with plenty of greenery and pleasing decoration around. The buildings that flanked the wide street were huge, even taller than the normal Centhian architecture, not that they could even compare to the massive spires the affini had constructed in the south of the city near the launch pads. It matched the affini pretty well, diverse, impressive, intimidating…but also quite pretty.
The day felt like it had lasted forever but on balance it could have been worse. Echina was definitely the best warden she could have gotten, that’s for sure. The psychologist had asked her beforehand if she had any preference for a caretaker, even back then Echina had been the only reasonable answer. But asking for her specifically would have been wrong. Not that it mattered, Echina still ended up having to set her work and personal wants aside to take care of her….
There was no real sense of difference between if Echina had volunteered or been selected as the most compatible caretaker. The Affinis’ sense of duty when it came to taking care of non-affini sophonts was almost absolute it seemed. It was not like they were less susceptible to social conditioning and if what she had heard was true then they were even genetically disposed to such thought patterns.
Of course, Echina had repeated that she was not a burden. Something that simply made no sense at all. She was a burden upon the affini, but the probability that Echina straight-up lied to her was not high. While the affini almost never lied, they could misdirect…but no, the words were pretty direct. There had to be some sort of reasonable explanation between these two contradictions….
Rosa noticed she had been walking too fast and was beginning to feel a bit winded. There was luckily a bench only a few meters away…though that seemed to be true along the entire street. The bench was honestly very comfortable, sitting down allowed her mind to calm. With her gaze now raised, the other people in the street became apparent.
To nobody’s surprise, there was a far greater amount of affini than in the other districts, and of the terrans most were florets. While casually observing the passerby Rosa noticed that a few of the affini were giving her curious and sometimes concerned glances. She elected to ignore them, they were probably not used to seeing an independent waltzing around in these parts. Not that she would ever have any good reason to travel here if not for the…situation. While this bench did have a seat for her height, most of the architecture was obviously built with the affini in mind.
Despite any political disagreements she might have, there was no denying the people around were well of. The florets and affini she saw looked happy, and not in the corporate ‘there is nothing bad going on here, we promise’ kind of way. They looked genuinely content, fulfilled, and happy….with her demeanor she was like a sore thumb.
Rosa got up and walked a bit further, trying to ignore the disparity between her own mood and that of those around her. The attempt was not very successful, as the overjoyed florets that clamored, hugged, cuddled, or walked with their owners fueled the despair within herself. She needed a distraction…ice cream, that usually worked…sometimes. The ice cream establishment that had caught her eye had plenty of tables outside, Rosa chose the one that was the furthest away from all the other guests.
The menu was both in Affini and English, and very extensive…not only were there more tastes than she had even heard of but several variants with xenodrugs or only for affini consumption. Even after excluding the xenodrug alternatives, the sheer amount was enough to instill choice paralysis “~I would recommend the firefly mix, it is sooooo good!~” An enthusiastic and bubbly happy voice broke Rosa out of her indecision with a start.
She looked up, the source of the voice was a floret waiter, dressed in a stereotypical maid uniform with quite….prominent proportions. Her pupils were dilated slightly too much for it to be natural, and the glassy shimmer confirmed the girl was high on xenodrugs. The floret smiled wide and waved “~hi! I’m Lulu. What’s your name?~”
Rosa stared at the floret for a few seconds, it was the first time a floret, except for Kevin, had spoken to her directly “….im Rosa, Rosa Tordenberg….you said something about fireflies?” Was that some sort of aerial supremacy craft? The menu claimed it contained mango, strawberry, pineapple, and…sigh, class-A.
Lulu continued to look at her with an uninterrupted cheerful expression “it is soooo tasty, I promise you won’t regret it….are you waiting for someone?” The floret looked around as if expecting to see someone come towards them.
Strange…either way “No, I am here alone…The firefly mix does sound nice, but could I get one without xenodrugs?” Of the fruits listed she had only ever eaten strawberries, and that only after the compiler had made it available.
The slightly confused look on the florets face was replaced by a disappointed pout “awww but that is the best part…..” a moment later the pout was gone, the cheerful expression back “not that is not amazing without it, one firefly coming up. By the way, you have a very cute name!” She then blew her a kiss before skipping away.
What the?....Rosa sat there, momentarily paralyzed by fluster. Had the floret just said her name was cute?....Her mind quickly found a solution to the perplexing comment, it had to be a standard greeting that the waiter gave to all the guests. The fact that the floret was also high on xenodrugs explained the overly flirty behavior.
Only a few moments after she had disappeared, Lulu returned with two glasses of yellow and red ice cream. The first one was placed in front of her, the second on the other side of the table where Lulu sat down. “Is it okay if I eat with you? You looked so lonely sitting here alone...” The endearing puppy eyes were far too disarming for her to deny.
Rosa muttered an affirmative response and took the first spoon full of ice cream….She stifled a delighted sigh “mmm….this is very good.” The taste was endlessly fruity and sweet, the rich variance melting in her mouth.
Lulu bobbed her head enthusiastically up and down “I know right? Mistress makes the best ice cream!” The floret took a spoonful herself and enjoyed it without any reservation. A shiver of pleasure went through her and when Lulu opened her eyes her pupils were even more dilated.
They enjoyed the ice cream in silence for a while until Lulu broke it “~soooo, are you waiting for an owner or….?~” There was a playful and excited tone to her voice, the floret peering at her like she was about to spill some juicy gossip.
The question caught her off guard, leaving her speechless for a few seconds “no. I am not waiting for an owner. What by the stars makes you think that?” It was impossible to be mad at her, but the words were still insulting.
Lulu pointed at the gray armbands “I had those on when I waited for an owner, to make sure I was less stressed and stuff. Why do you have them?” There was no demeaning purpose to be found behind Lulu's words, only pure curiosity.
Rosa stared down at the ice cream for a few seconds, while hiding the armbands bashfully with her hands “I….I’m just having a bit of a hard time at the moment. Getting some help to get back on my feet, that is all.” She had completely forgotten about the armbands, they had probably been broadcasting her status to anyone who laid eyes on her.
The floret nodded, a sympathetic shine in her eyes “things will be alright,” Hearing that from another human, even if it was a floret, was genuinely uplifting “once you get your owner they will make everything better, I know mine did.” Lulu giggled and gave another endearing smile.
The undercutting of the assumed supportive statement made it sting even more. The floret might not have any negative intent, but that did not mean she could put her down “I do not need an owner, I do not want an owner, I am not getting an owner. I will get through this on my own like I always have. Understand?” Rosa put extra pressure on the words.
Lulu looked genuinely confused “why would you not want to have an owner?” Speaking like it was the most baffling choice anyone could ever make.
Rosa took a long breath before answering “I have no intention of burdening someone else with my own fuckups and shortcomings….at least not more than I already have.”
The confused expression turned truly baffled, it looked like Lulu had just heard her say that the sky was green or that the moon had been rebuilt. “Burden? How could you be a burden? The affini love to take care of us, that is like, their main shtick. Mistress tells me I make her happy all the time, why would you be different?”
How did one explain this to a floret? “You and your owner probably have a wonderful relationship, but it is not the kind I am suited for. I have caused enough problems for my caretaker, once this affair is done we can both move on.” Reminding herself of Echina only strengthened the guilt and shame that was building up.
Lulu examined her for a moment, as thoughtful as one could be with that much xenodrugs in one’s system “so you knew your caretaker before you became their ward?” The words were more cautious now, taking on a gentle tone.
Rosa leaned back “friends even, but I fucked that up. The only reason she is the one helping me is the affini’s stupid sense of duty and cultural imperative.” Not that the affini would ever admit to that.
“Friends, you say…and even after you had trouble with that friendship she still chose to take care of you?” A knowing smile spread on Lulu’s face “I bet she loves you.” Wha…. “Well, in the way the affini love us terrans anyhow. She is probably imagining treasuring, petting, and taking care of you right now.” Speechless was an understatement, Rosa was baffled beyond any form of communication.
So instead, she stood up and began walking away. Lulu’s eyes were suddenly filled with a despairing regret like she only just understood what she had said “sorry! Please…don’t go, I’m sorry. I….I…” Even with her now turned back it was obvious that the floret was close to crying.
With every ounce of focus and goodwill left Rosa walked back and sat down. “You don’t know the situation…can we please talk about something else while I finish my ice cream?” Lulu nodded and dried away some tears that had built up in her now relieved eyes.
A long awkward silence began as they both ate their ice cream, it had mostly melted but still tasted divine. The florets eyes suddenly light up “you live nearby now, right?” Rosa nodded and Lulu smiled widely “then we can hang out!...if you want to….”
Staying angry at systems was so much easier than staying mad at people “sure…what would we do?” For some reason, it felt unlikely that they shared much in common.
Lulu's enthusiasm grew “oh, we can watch TV, paint, cuddle, discuss philosophy…but I think I would need a higher dose of class-A for the last one. I can ask mistress and you can ask your caretaker.” Right…Echina was technically in charge of her schedule for the foreseeable future.
A large shadow was cast over the table “~that sounds like a wonderful idea my little flower.” The affini, who now held all of Lulu’s adoring attention, gave Rosa a large warm smile. She looked around “is your caretaker nearby?”
Rosa sighed “no, I am on a walk alone…but I think I am heading back soon. Great ice cream, by the way, thanks.” The walk had been far more emotionally exhaustive than predicted and it was almost time anyway, one small detour and then back to the hab was probably a good idea.
The affini smiled even wider, and then reached forward and pat her on the head “that is wonderful to hear, giving you adorable petals enjoyment is the greatest gift. You seem like a kind little flower, I would very much like for you to spend some time with my darling once you feel like it.” Rosa shoved the giant hand away as gently as possible.
As she stood up to go, Lulu looked up at her sorrowfully “sorry about what I said, I shouldn’t have been so pushy…its just…you remind me a lot of how I felt a few months ago…” Her voice tainted with regret.
The implication of the last part was not very optimistic for her prospects of independence. But there was no way Lulu had intended that implication “it's okay…I know you didn’t mean anything by it.” she gave the floret a stern gaze “but you are not allowed to talk about anything like that if you meet Echina.” Lulu nodded with the most gravity that was available to someone with such large pupils.
She gave a finally goodbye to the pair and began walking once more. A chill autumn breeze had picked up, Rosa unfolded the collar of her jacket and hunched her shoulders. It would soon begin to snow…maybe this time it would actually be white and not gray or black from pollution. Still, the cold was an even greater reason to get back to the hab, if she got sick Echina would just become more concerned, not that the affini could not cure such a silly little thing as the common cold.
The sun was beginning to set…what a day. It had not been all bad but fuck if she was not ready for it to be done. Returning to a warm meal and some gentle conversation was honestly a pleasant thing to imagine. Rosa came to an intersection, one of the four streets leading into the adjacent district. The colorful, diverse affini buildings that sparkled in the setting sun were slowly replaced by gray uniform housing that seemed to absorb all light around it.
Rosa gazed at the sight for a few seconds and just as she was about to turn around a voice appeared from slightly too close behind her “excuse me, but where is your caretaker?” Rosa startled and snapped around.
The affini was tall and draped in autumn color leaves, there was an intrigued glint in their eyes. Rosa shrugged, tired of answering that question “back at the hab.”
The affini raised a mossy eyebrow and took a few steps closer “so they allowed you to walk around alone, unattended?” Something about her tone rubbed Rosa the wrong way, some mix of suspicion and condescending disbelief.
Against her better judgment she allowed a bit of venom to seep into her voice “yes, she trusts me with that. Can you stop disturbing me now?”
Obviously not the most diplomatic response as the suspicion in the affini’s eyes intensified “What is the name of your caretaker? I would like to confirm this with them.” A data pad was taken up.
There was probably nothing more horrifying than someone asking her to remember names, at least this one was easy “Echina….Magi?, 4th bloom.” Okay…maybe not the last name but it was pretty close, it had to be enough.
The affini looked up for the data pad and a red flash in their eyes was enough to tell Rosa that something was seriously wrong “I have seen that symbol before.” An accusatory finger pointed towards the left part of her jacket, at a pin with the red dawn movement symbol on it.
The affini moved yet closer, an intimidating edge to their voice “it was on the news, some ferals that almost killed a poor girl. You are one of the ones that were captured, aren’t you?” Did they seriously mistake her for one of those idiotic rebels?
How dared they? “I am not a feral, I was the person who got sh-“
Her indignation was for once swallowed up by fear as the affini moved even closer, their eyes a light shade of glowing red “If you expect me to believe you then you are sorely mistaken. No responsible caretaker would let their ward walk the streets alone, and certainly not this late, there is no Echina Magi on this planet either. I don’t know how you managed to get this far, but your little escape attempt ends here.” A vine extended forward, the flower on its end blooming to reveal a needle dripping with a clear liquid.
It was probably not too late to deescalate, to blurt out a surrender and solve the misunderstanding. But her several encounters with garrison enforcers during and after protests had instilled certain instincts. Rosa snapped around and began to run away.
She didn’t even get a meter before the vine stung forward and the needle entered her arm. A warm gentle feeling began to spread and after a few stumbling steps her legs gave out completely. Vines caught her long before she hit the ground, gently lifting her into the affini’s embrace.
The fear, frustration, and all the other negative emotions that had weighed on her seemed to simply melt away, replaced by a pleasant buzz. A massive hand gently brushed over her hair, the sensation was somewhat distant but nice nonetheless “shhhh, it’s all okay little petal. you are safe now, no need to be scared.” There was a sweet smell in the air…caramel?
Rosa ceased her wiggling attempts of resistance and looked up into the affini’s eyes. They were both compassionate and pitying “~that’s a good girl, breathe in and let me handle this~” A vine did something with her armbands and they emitted a tiny *beep* “there we go, you caretaker will be here shortly to pick you up.” A mesh of vines formed a warm and cozy blanket around her body cradled in the affini’s arms.
Rosa was finding it more and more difficult to be mad at the affini. Not only were emotions of that category harder and harder to grasp by the second…but the affini was only concerned about her. Furthermore, her current position was very comfortable, she was perfectly shielded from the wind’s cold and the vines themselves were pleasantly warm.
But if the affini was only being nice to her then that meant…Even with the buzz in her mind guilt still managed to creep forth “sorry…I…I’m sorry, I didn’t…” Why had she been so mean? The affini only wanted to help her.
A finger tilted her chin upwards, her eyes once again meeting the affini’s glowing orbs “~none of that now, you were scared and that is okay~. I’m sorry I had to stop you in such a drastic manner, but I couldn’t have you hurt yourself.” Rosa swore the eyes began to spin slowly, light cascading from them in captivating hues “~you are far too stressed for being so adorable. Be a good girl and relax while we wait for your caretaker, okay?~” That sounded like a good idea…
Rosa nuzzled closer into the vines, pulling the sheet up to her face. The affini continued to pet her gently while making some soft cooing noises. With the warmth, comfort, and affection, it did not take long before Rosa entered a drowsy state. The autumn-colored affini was so nice! Therefore, it was only logical that she was a good girl and relaxed like they had told her to.
Before she could fall asleep a familiar voice rang out “Rosa!” huh? Rosa opened her eyes and turned towards the sound. A very concerned Echina was rapidly making her way towards her.
“You must be this little one’s caretaker, here you go.” The nice affini handed her over to Echina’s causation vines, for a split moment some cold wind sliced into her face but once she showed her discomfort vines secured any gaps in the embrace.
Echina studied her with worried and confused eyes “are you okay?”
Rosa didn’t want her to be worried, she was so nice “I….I’m fine~” For some reason, her words were slow and slurred, hopefully, they still came out right.
Her caretaker shushed her with a vine and looked at the other affini <what happened? Why is she on xenodrugs?> Why was she speaking affini? Was Echina hiding something from her? no, she wouldn’t do that, Echina was so nice and helpful and gave great pats.
The other affini suddenly sounded slightly unsure <I caught your ward trying to escape. She spun some lie about you having given her permission, luckily I recognized the symbol of that feral group on her jacket. I have given her some class-E and a tiny dose of class-C to soothe her.> With the words beyond her understanding Rosa caught onto the wonderful melody coming from Echina.
She had missed it so much, but it sounded less harmonious than usual <that was not a lie. I allowed her to go for a walk as long as she stayed in the district. And she is not a feral, not in the slightest.> If she didn’t know any better she would think that Echina sounded frustrated, almost angry…but that couldn’t be right, the other affini hadn’t done anything wrong.
The autumn-colored affini looked taken aback <oh dirt, there must have been some misunderstanding. I apologize profusely…Though she does not seem to be in the mental state to be left unattended and this is the edge of the district….Are you sure it is wise to let her walk alone?> The discord did little to hamper how good it felt to hear the melody once again, Rosa nuzzled closer into the vines to hear it better.
Echina’s embrace became a bit tighter < I am sure she was intending to return…Rosa values her freedom and letting her enjoy some of that in a safe environment is only healthy…at least that is what I thought…Do you have the counteragents to the xenodrugs?>
The other affini came closer <of course, should I give her some class-Z as well? This might not be the best place to come up.> Their attention turned to her, an apologetic smile on their face “it seems I made a mistake little one, I am very sorry. Take care now.” The affini exhaled a white gas that smelled like mint and Rosa felt a small sting in her right arm, then for the third time that day she fell asleep.
-------------------Centhia, North New Bergen, Hab complex Ceria, 24.04.2555, 20:43-----------------
Rosa woke feeling utterly refreshed, a warm and cozy feeling permeating her body. The reason for this became obvious as soon as she opened her eyes. She was wrapped in a warm blanket and lying on the couch in Echina’s hab with plenty of pillows all around her. She yawned and looked around, her mind still collecting the details of what had happened.
Her memories quickly turned irrelevant as she spotted Echina. The affini was sitting hunched over the dining table. Rosa did not know a lot about affini physiology, but the hanging flowers, rugged form, and general atmosphere indicated she was upset. It was a startling shift between how happy and well-looking Echina had seemed before she went on that walk.
The memory of how that walk had ended returned and a fresh surge of guilt alongside it. Fuck…There had to be a prize to fuck up this many social encounters in a day. This could not be allowed to continue, something had to be done. Rosa struggled for a few seconds unraveling the blanket around her before getting down on the ground.
Echina did not notice her as she walked up to the table…stars, the affini looked miserable. With an extra dose of guilt in her throat Rosa knocked on the closest leg of the table “Echina?” The affini looked down with deep blue eyes “I think maybe…I should get another caretaker.” The blue turned a hew darker.
But Echina nodded “I understand….sit down and we can talk.” Holding her frayed emotions inside Rosa walked up the stairs to the chair opposite. “I was unsure about being your caretaker from the beginning, I see now that accepting it was a mistake…” it seemed that Echina was finally being honest.
Rosa’s throat felt choked, but she managed to talk “I’m sorry for being so uncooperative and a pain to watch over. I know there is probably a lot of paperwork you will have to do, but after that, I will be someone else’s problem.” Causing trouble for someone else was far from what she wanted but everything was better than harming Echina any further.
Echina smiled gently “you have nothing to be sorry for, I just regret that I could not give you the care you need. Don’t worry I will find someone more suitable by tomorrow.” That didn’t make sense…
Rosa chuckled confused “what are you talking about? you have done great, it's me that can’t seem to do a single thing right. It should seriously not be that hard to not cause you even more problems than I already am.” If she had just been a bit less hostile, not tired to run, or hell just remembered the last name of a close friend then this would not have happened.
The colors in Echina’s eyes rapidly changed to a dark yellow “I don’t understand. You haven’t done anything wrong or caused me any problems. You might not have entered into this wardship with a fully open mind or sparkling positivity, but no one could expect that of you.”
Was she being serious? “You had to force me to the domestication center, I have been stubbornly resistant to your help this entire time, and now I prove that I can’t even go for a walk on my own without causing you problems. You would not even be in this situation if it was not for my incompetence. Don’t lie and tell me that this has not affected you.” Had they not been in agreement just a few seconds before?
Echina dismissed her words with a wave of her hand, her slightly mechanical voice reeking of disagreement “none of that was your fault, especially what happened this evening. I am the one who has not managed to better predict your needs or give you the help required. While the affini who subdued you was undoubtedly in the wrong, it was my fault that you were in that situation, to begin with.” So not only had she caused Echina a bunch of hassle but undermined her self-confidence in the process.
And now the affini wanted to take all the responsibility? “So, you are responsible for everything, but I am not responsible for anything? That only makes sense if you are stupid enough to hold onto that stupid affini cultural supremacy. Can’t you put aside your hypocrisy for one second, listen to your own advice, and put your own needs first?”
The chair was pushed back as Echina stood up to her full height “taking care of you and making sure you are happing is my first and primary need.” ….Rosa stared into the beautiful affini eyes in disbelief.
That couldn’t be true… “You are lying…” Had she tricked Echina somehow? Manipulated her in some way she didn’t even register?
A vine grabbed her hand “no, I am not. The only pain I have felt is because of my own failures to protect and help you. When you suggested changing caretaker, was that for your or my benefit?” There was an intensity in her words that Rosa could not hope to match.
A few tears had involuntarily begun to form “isn’t that the right thing to do? I…I should have fixed this myself before you had to intervene…and..and now I…” It was far too much, and she had far too little left, so she did the only thing possible and began to cry. She had tried her best, hadn’t she?…or at least tried her best when she had the strength to do so. So why was it not enough? How had she ended up like this?
“Rosa, could you do me a favor?” Echina was standing next to her now, a sad but hopeful smile on her face. A favor? “If you allow it, I would like to pamper you.” That, decidedly, did not sound like a favor. Before she could protest Echina hunched down and stared into her eyes “before you answer I need you to understand that it will bring me great joy and fulfillment if you accept.”
Rosa blinked a few tears out of her eyes and hesitated. There was no way that Echina’s request was a selfish one, but if she insisted…There was something unpleasant about the thought, but would it be so bad if she said yes? “What…what would pampering include?” She didn’t have any experience being pampered, and especially not by an affini.
Echina moved a vine to dry away a tear on her cheek “make you some tasty food, comfort you in my vines, provide you with affection, similar activities.” Her body and mind yearned for it, from her hungry stomach to her exhausted libs and thoughts….
After swallowing twice, she looked away from the glowing eyes “and doing this would make you happy?”
“Would it make you feel better?” Rosa nodded cautiously “then it would make me happy beyond words.”
Whether it was that tiny voice in the back of her mind trying to tell her that she deserved help, the want to see Echina happy, or pure exhaustion did not matter. The result was the same “okay…I mean, yes…go ahead.”
Echina’s eyes turned a golden amber color “thank you so much, I am going to lift you up now.” Strong vines carried her up and onto the affini’s chest. The flowers on Echina’s form had begun to regain color and some began to bloom as she was carried over to the fridge. A bowl of miso soup was taken out alongside a plate of cookies. Echina sat down on the couch and spread her vines to form a soft seat-like formation around Rosa.
She then lifted the bowl of soup “would…would it be okay if I feed you?” There was no shortage of uncertainty in the affini’s voice.
Rosa considered considering it and found herself far too beyond such a singular point “okay, but don’t think of this as a precedent or something.” The first spoon of many was brought to her face and she opened her mouth to accept it. The warm delicious soup warmed her from within, and the warm vines warmed her from without…another spoon arrived, and it tasted even better than the last.
She sighed happily and relaxed slightly, the tension in her shoulders beginning to drain away “this is very good-“ The compliment was interrupted by another spoonful of tasty soup “-soup.” The affini’s promise to make more tasty food was certainly upheld.
Echina positively beamed as she fed her another spoon, and then another, and yet another. The spoons only stopped coming once the bowl was thoroughly emptied and Rosa had relaxed fully into the vines surrounding her. “I should have invited you to diner way before.” A vine had begun to gently brush through her hair, untangling any knots or clusters without a pinch of discomfort.
There was a slight adjustment to her position as Echina lay down on the couch, causing her to lie on top of the affini at a much reasonable slope. An arm was brought protectively around her and with her size compared to the affini it almost felt like she was a plushie in Echina’s embrace. Her hunger might be sated but the sight of the cookies had awakened her sweet tooth “could I have one?”
Her request brought several more flowers to bloom around her and without a word Echina handed her a cookie. It was pretty large, almost the size of her hand, and the first bite was all she needed to know that the 5 remaining cookies would not survive the night. It was soft and sweet, the dough melting in her mouth. Rosa devoured the rest of it with a vengeance, struggling between savoring each bite and the need for more.
She did not need to ask for the second one to be placed in front of her “here you go, but don’t eat so fast that you upset your stomach, okay?” Rosa nodded while chomping down on it, trying with some success to eat it slower than the last. They settled into a comfortable silence and Rosa had to admit it was nice to be on the receiving end of emotional affection for once.
Echina continued to brush her hair, leaving it finally unclustered. There had been a ball of intertwined hair she had long abandoned trying to unfurl, now it was nowhere to be felt. The boundary between where grooming turned into petting was a blurry one indeed, and she had a feeling Echina was carefully toeing the line. At this point being pet would not be that bad, the head pats earlier this morning had been divine.
A question still burned inside her and for every moment that went by it took more and more attention to keep it down. Until she had to ask it, no matter how uncomfortable it felt “do…do I make you happy?” The vines underneath her tensed and Echina looked away…fuck, why did she have to ruin it?
The comfortable silence grew considerably less comfortable for several tense seconds. Echina moved up, and Rosa was once again clutched against her chest. The affini finally looked down at her, the green color blossoming into a thousand hues. “Would it be okay if I removed the headphones for a few seconds?” Why would she need that? It felt like such a strange request, but Rosa nodded nonetheless. While still pressed to the affini’s chest the headphones were gingerly removed.
The song thrummed like a chorus, a dozen melodies and rhythms overlapping in a way that Rosa had never heard before. Any Terran words to describe its beauty would be insufficient, awe-inspiring was perhaps what came closest. Echina used a vine to tilt her head upwards and spoke with the full force of her biorhythm “Nothing makes me happier than seeing you smile. Nothing in the universe can even come close.” No doubt, self-internalized hatred or logic could hope to stand against the statement. The glowing amber eyes, the words overflowing with affection, and most of all overpowering biorhythm confirmed it as the most absolute truth.
A breath that her chest had been holding in for stars knows how long was released. Rosa clutched closer to the affini, pressing her cheeks against the soft vines as tears began to roll down her cheeks. Echina began to pet her gently on the head, the affectionate and caring touch making the emotions flow with even less filter. Echina continued to comfort her resolutely, the tone of the biorhythm not brought to discord in the slightest by her show of emotion. Instead, it filled the tender spots where the pain drained out with warm comfort.
What must have been 15 minutes later Echina stretched a vine towards the headphones. Rosa felt a tinge of desperation “mmm, I did you a favor right? So does that not mean you owe me one as well?”
Echina hesitated “I suppose that is how the favor system works…did you have something in mind?”
With a stuttering blush, Rosa pushed onward “could…could I not wear the headphones, just for tonight? Please?” The implication that she did not want to leave the comforting vines was too embarrassing to be spoken plainly.
The look of conflict on Echina’s face lasted a fraction of a second “if you are sure then that is a favor I will gladly indulge.” Rosa muttered a thanks underneath her breath and hugged the stupidly pretty and nice affini as close as she could. Echina wrapped both arms around her and gave her a light squeeze in response. As her mind became more and more drowsy a single thought survived the internal scrutiny of her mind: what if they could make each other happy?...
Chapter 9: breakdowns, hypocrisy, and confessions
Notes:
This chapter gets a bit heavy, but is also very sweet
Chapter Text
------------------------Centhia, North New Bergen, Hab complex Ceria, 25.04.2555, 12:23--------------------------
Echina woke slowly, enjoying the sunlike warmth that filled her form from the center of her core to the tip of every vine and flower. It had been a long time since she had felt like this, and she was perfectly content with relishing the opportunity to let the moment last. She would have to get up soon, get some mineralized water, and…and make food for Rosa!
Dirt, it felt like she had slept for a long time, Rosa was probably very hungry. Frost, how could she have forgotten? The warm feeling evaporated as Echina opened her eyes and noticed she was lying on the couch…why was she…The memory of how Rosa had fallen asleep in her vines last night brought a new wave of warmth, followed by a reinvigorated cold. The human was no longer in her vines, a quick check once she had stood up revealed that Rosa was not in the room either.
A mild panic built up in rapid beats, had Rosa left the hab, maybe she had gotten in trouble again, was the affini who had drugged her yesterday right? Had Rosa intended to leave the district? The chance was low but if Rosa had run into any ferals then…then…root! Maybe not locking the door had been the wrong move after all, what if Rosa was hurt?! She had promised to take care of her, keep her safe and….had she failed again? For a brief moment, she once again saw Rosa’s blood-soaked body on the staircase and shuddered, a few flowers wilting and dropping their faded red petals
The data pad was ripped from her chest compartment before the vines had the time to part. Finally, the data about Rosa’s well-being was brought up...oh. She was in her room…in perfectly good health…no sign of any problems…safe and sound. The panic and stress slowly ground to a halt, her body deflating as she collapsed on the sofa. Everything was fine, thank the Everbloom.
Echina took some time to calm down and refine her form before walking over to the door. She knocked twice “come in.” Rosa was sitting at her desk, her face leaning against a fist while staring down at her data pad, she was also once again wearing the headphones. An empty plate with some food residue and an empty glass was present on the desk. Seeing her safe and in good form was an enormous relief, the rapid built-up stress slowly beginning to drain from her vines.
From the posture to her frown frustration radiated off her ward in waves “what are you doing?” Rosa let go of the data pad and muttered something incomprehensible. Okay… “sorry, I’m afraid I didn’t catch that…could you repeat?”
Rosa kicked the office chair back and turned it around, so they were facing each other “just trying to figure out…I don’t know, how everything went to shit so suddenly?” Poor thing…sadly it did not seem that Rosa was in the mood for any comfort that Echina so desperately wanted to provide.
Allowing the girl some verbal catharsis would be the best approach. Echina moved and sat down on the bed “what do you mean?” part of her did not want to go through this so soon, yesterday had been hard on her ward; comfort and affection were what Rosa really needed right now.
Alas that would have to come later, her ward looked more than ready to explain “before the invasion I was studying full time with extra courses, holding down a job to pay tuition and rent, organizing the RDM and I still had the time and energy to be social.” She was obviously proud of that achievement, not that Echina was convinced anyone should have been doing that much.
Rosa slumped further down in the chair “after the invasion I kept up the pace by spending more time on the movement but after the accident…It was supposed to be a short vacation to recover and instead…” the frustrated bluster had turned into a choked whisper “and instead…I have never felt more tired. Everything is difficult now, even the most minute is a herculean task. I’m tired all the time and I can’t sleep properly. I wake up every day hoping to feel rested but somehow…I just feel like I have lost even more energy that I don’t know if will ever come back…Why am I like this?” Despair, it was the only word that could come close to describing it.
Rosa sat up and tried to dry away the tears that had begun rolling down her face and staining her shirt “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be-“ Echina’s core was cold, a harsh cold pain that demanded that the sight before her was rectified.
Before her ward could continue she interrupted “no, you should. Not speaking to me will only worry me more…please let me comfort you while you continue to talk.” She needed this as much as Rosa. As the girl gave her a hesitant nod Echina lifted her into her lap and entwined her softest vines around the most precious person in the world “take your time, please continue if you want.”
Rosa continued to cry into her vines “I just want to feel…not normal, I never was that not even competent…capable is enough, anything better than this is enough. Going out is exhausting, trying to focus is impossible, nothing about this stupid body works how I want it to.” No one had told her how raw the pain would feel, how easily Rosa’s emotions would bleed into hers. The temptation to remove that pain, soothe the crying human in her vines, by almost any means necessary was overpowering.
Her vines tightened around Rosa, she did not seem to mind. What was she supposed to say? What could she do at the moment beyond providing comfort? “Once you get through this difficult time it will get better, I promise. It won't stay this way.” Nothing in the universe would stop her from fulfilling that promise, Rosa would be happy if it was the last thing she did.
Rosa looked up at her with big teary eyes and clutched her vines harder “I know…but I don’t want it to be difficult anymore…it has been that for so long. I’ve always gotten through it, it's not like there is any choice…but for once, can’t it just be easy?” The desperation, the exhausted pain present in those eyes…It was almost too much to bear, but to not do so was simply impossible.
Echina cradled the human close, as close as she could “it will be easy, soon…I can’t promise when, but sooner than you think. I wish I could make it easy now…” She could, there was a way, but that was not what Rosa wanted. “I will be with you until it is.”
“Thank you” was about all Rosa managed to mumble between deep breaths and quiet sobs. The human had curled up into a tiny ball, more vulnerable than ever before. Echina continued to hold her, comforting Rosa with a soothing brushing of her admittedly quite damaged hair and words of affirmation whenever it seemed she needed it.
After what must have been at least half an hour of relative quiet Rosa stirred in her vines “you can let me go now, I feel fin-..better.” With great reluctance, Echina loosened her vines, though Rosa stayed in her lap. Some of the openness and vulnerability were gone, though not all “sorry for…sorry for saying sorry I guess, I know you want me to stop…thanks for dealing with my bullshit, is that better?”
Echina returned her wards dry chuckle “you do not need to thank me, but it is preferred to you being guilty. And you are not allowed to feel guilty over this, understand?” She made sure to make it sound humorous but firm, the fact that a xenodrug to remove guilt had not yet been created was a major oversight.
Rosa smiled wryly as she jumped down to the floor “understood O’ almighty plant overlord, do you have another decree?” The human turned around and bowed while pointing both her arms to the left, with a slight bent upwards. Echina was not sure what the gesture was supposed to mean but the fact that it was performed with a thick layer of sarcasm was certain.
For a second she was tempted to indeed give Rosa another decree only to see her reaction, then she remembered something that had quickly been forgotten in yesterday and this morning’s events. “Not a decree per se, there is however something on the agenda. You have an appointment at the vet in…” Echina checked her datapad, was it really that late already? “Just over an hour.” How had she slept for that long?
As she looked up, the discontented frown on Rosa’s face indicated it was time for an argument “Vet? Seriously? Do we have to call it that? I have been dehumanized enough already, I don’t need anymore.”
Echina was taken aback, it was not the course she had expected the discussion to travel “dehumanize? I don’t understand, all humans go to the vet. A doctor treating an affini and a vet treating a non-affini need completely different expertise.”
Rosa rolled her eyes “yeah because now affini is the new standard. I am sure the cis, hetero, neurotypicals are having an amazing time adjusting to not being on the top. But for me, it does not matter who is in the super normal group when it still excludes me. Not that I think there should be a super normal group, that kind of thinking is exactly the problem.” That…was not a bad point, not that it was entirely correct either.
Still, this was clearly important to Rosa so more theoretical pushback could be given in a better setting, and when they had better time “there is no way I can change my langue’s several millennia-long traditions by the time we leave. But between the two of us we can call it…xenological medical professional/clinic. Is that a suitable compromise?” The designation did not exactly flow elegantly through the voice tubes, a small concession for satisfying her firebrand off a ward.
Rosa did look momentarily satisfied “works for me…thanks for being in my corner, it means a lot.” The frown, this time suspicious in nature returned “why are we going there anyway?”
Why did she have the feeling that another argument was coming “first of all, you need a full medical checkup. Secondly, you need some xenodrugs, likely class-E, to help with your depression. Something to lessen the fatigue from burnout would also be a good idea, one of the most favored treatments for that is class-j-“
Her ward crossed her arms and furrowed her brow further “I am not going on class-J.” Oh by the Everbloom.
Echina withheld a sigh “I was not going to suggest that, the ve- xenological medical professional can find a suitable alternative.”
“What if I don’t want that either? I don’t want to be like some doped-up floret who can’t even walk without stumbling. My mind is kind of important to me and fatigue is bad enough on its own. Even if it is less pleasant than with all the alternatives you have I prefer it unclouded.” So that was the issue, at least it was nothing worse.
“You can take up those concerns and preferences with the xenological medical professional that you will be talking to. Xenodrugs can and should be modified for the user, this is no exception. Now we should leave soon, are you okay with that?”
The frown was still there, Rosa grumbled “sure, it’s not like I have a choice about this either way. Just give me a few minutes to change clothes and wash up.” Reluctant acceptance was still acceptance, and for now, that was the best she was going to get.
Echina stood up and smiled as she had practiced, facial motions were something she was getting quite used to and in her opinion not half bad at either. Rosa smiled back but it was with some well-hidden but now familiar concern underneath. Part of her wanted to give her one last hug, but this was not the time…maybe later, hopefully, later.
------------------------Centhia, North New Bergen, Stuklov Street, 25.04.2555, 13:15--------------------------
The wind had lost some of its chill from yesterday, but the march of the seasons was still underway. Her jacket, no matter how proud of it she was, was better for summer and spring. Its cropped nature also meant that the wind had no problem cutting through her shirt and freezing her skin. She and Echina were keeping a brisk pace however so the likelihood of her becoming seriously cold before reaching the clinic was low. Not that the cold was unbearable, but if Echina noticed she was cold then the affini most certainly would be.
Her breakdown this morning had left a bitter aftertaste, she was supposed to have better control than to let it all spill out like that. Yesterday had been a lot and drained her emotionally, but that was no excuse to dump it all on Echina like that. Contrary to what Echina might say, Rosa had seen how her words had impacted the affini, how much they had hurt.
The prospect of being high as a glass wealth high-rise only held one acceptable temptation; to lessen the pain and burden she was upon Echina. The affini would likely love to take care of her in a more…docile and less complicated state. It would be nonstop pampering, emotional affection, and care. Right up until the deadline came and some committee would determine that she was much happier like that and sign away her freedom. Echina may have said something about preferences so maybe it wouldn’t be that bad…at the same time the affini abhorred suffering, her wanting to keep onto some of that pain with the lucidity could be interpreted as self-destructive. She owed Echina at least to go with her to the clinic and hear the doctors out.
Another gust of cold wind blew past the dead concrete facades, instinctively she hunched her shoulders and held the jacket closer. It was to little avail and her teeth began to clatter rapidly. A warm wine stretched down from above, over her shoulder, and wrapped itself around her waist. There was a slight pressure, causing her to come closer to Echina “is it okay if I warm you like this? I can place you inside of me instead like on the tram, that would be warmer.” The affini sounded unsure, the care was however as ever-present as always.
The temptation of seeing Echina’s core once more could not be given any ground “this is fine.” Was that seriously all she could say? Here Echina was giving more consideration to her needs than she ever had herself and all she could manage was a ‘this is fine’. The tip of the vine curled around and warming her was loose at her side…maybe…would it be fine if she…fuck it. Rosa grabbed the vine with her hand, letting it warm her frozen fingers.
The affini slowed her pace for only a split second before once again matching the rapid pace Rosa had set. Rosa looked up at Echina cautiously, she was still looking forward, but a wonderful smile had settled on her woven face and glowing eyes. A few of Echina’s many pink-red flowers were also blooming despite the cold, contrasting spectacularly with the gray concrete behind her. There was some powerful, joyful energy beaming from the sight that was too powerful to ignore like it fitted a painting better than any single moment…
Wait, was she staring? Of fuck she was totally staring! Rosa cast her gaze downwards to the dull cold street beneath her feet. Trying to subdue her flustered blush by focusing on the street and manhole markings of the old regime. Had Echina noticed? It didn’t seem like it…thank the stars!
A further, more potent distraction than the sidewalk texture came up ahead as the clinic came into view. It looked remarkably similar to some of the resort world advertisements she had seen pre-invasion. Its green, plant-covered façade with smooth alien curves was both welcoming and massive, the latter quality the only it held in common with the buildings around it. The energy was similar to the other clinic she had visited months ago to get her class-G and mandatory medical checkup. Part of her had expected the alien buildings to at some point become mundane and soulless like the wonders of architecture the old world had constructed, for some reason that monotony had yet to be found.
They entered through one of the many entrances, passing a food stand and a mountain of brochures before coming to the reception. How there was no line to wait in was a mystery, sure nobody had to pay any more so it made sense it was somewhat quicker. Still, the uncanny efficiency was…well, uncanny. Echina spoke to the receptionist for a few seconds, Rosa decided to ignore the conversation and instead inspect the stand of pamphlets in front of her.
They held such captivating titles as “Class-G: it is your body, make it how you want it”, “Considering domestication? Here is what you need to know.” And “Know your A, C, and Ds: A quick guide to xenodrugs.” The artwork was pretty cute and altogether not overly condescending…apart from the floret one, too sweet might be the best way to describe it.
The feeling of being looked at brought her gaze up, the receptionist was smiling down at her “Helian is ready to see you now, she is on floor 23, office 68, the one on the left when you come out of the elevator. ~Have a nice day~” Helian? That did sound familiar…Rosa put back the pamphlet and followed Echina, desperately trying to place the name.
As they stood in the elevator Echina interrupted her fruitless search “when we talk to the xenological medical professional, please hear her out. We only want to help, but we can only do that properly if you trust us.” There was an unusual air of gravity to her voice, easily recognizable through the distortion of the headphones.
Except for the strange encounter with the autumn-colored affini yesterday, this would be the first real interaction with the affini system as Echina’s ward. There was no doubt a lot of pressure and expectations placed on Echina, ‘behaving’ would likely make it easier for both of them. Rosa took a long breath in and out “I don’t think I can trust this system…but I trust you. As long as it does not cross the line I can try to be less…difficult. Just don’t get used to it okay.” The humorous tone brought a bit of levity to the situation.
They exited the elevator and walked to the office in silence, the levity ebbing off as quickly as it had come. Echina moved a hand to knock on the door but just before she could it opened. A familiar affini with several large yellow flowers stood there, smiling in glee “hello you two, long time no see.” Oh no…it was the nurse who had helped her recover from the injury, how could she have forgotten her name?
Helian waved them inside with a vine “I have been awaiting you eagerly, please take a seat. Candy?” It looked like a quite regular office with one notable exception; pictures of two different florets covered most of the walls and desk. Rosa denied the colorful rock candies in the massive bowl and sat down in the human-sized chair. Why was Helian here? Didn’t she work at the hospital?
Echina sat down next to her in the far larger chair “sorry if we kept you waiting. I would also like to thank you for taking care of Rosa after the incident.” There was no way to avoid it when the affini were as large as they were but sitting so much lower still felt…off.
The sunflower-covered affini nodded “it was my pleasure. Speaking off, how are you doing Rosa?” Now how was she supposed to answer that? It was a difficult question even without thinking about what would be appropriate to say.
She shifted uncomfortably in the admittedly comfortable chair “been better, been worse…something along those lines.” Had that been good? Rosa quickly looked up at Echina, the affini mostly looked sad. Fuck…she should have put a better spin on it.
Helian nodded and wrote something down on a paper that Rosa had no chance of seeing at this angle “mhm, I understand. Let’s see if we can’t make it a good deal better after today. First I need a sample of blood. Would it be okay if I took it with my vine or would you prefer the traditional method?”
She could use her vine to take a blood sample? A flash of curiosity was subsequently doused by remembering what the blood sample would be used for “I don’t care, whatever goes the fastest works for me.”
The xenological medical professional flashed her a humorous smile “good to see that you still have your regular grumpy attitude. Now, this won't hurt a bit.” That had to be the most common lie spoken inside a medical institution, alongside the ‘without these exorbitant prices we could not keep the place running, it has nothing to do with profit at all’. Though the last one was spoken more by clerks and PR staff, doctors likely hated it as much as the patients.
A vine stretched out from Helian’s form, two outshoots moved up her sleeve while the end of the vine placed its flower onto her arm. It then proceeded to grab around gently with its petals, Rosa braced for the sting…but nothing happened. Just as she began to wonder why Helian was waiting the flower pulled back, five red points were on her arm but didn’t hurt at all. Some kind of translucent substance had covered the injection points stopping the bleeding.
Helian closed her eyes for a moment “hmmm….oh….alright….have to fix that….that could use a boost…maybe, yes most definitely.” Oh, stars what were they going to do with her?…hold up. Was she tasting her blood? Could this affini seriously understand her blood levels like some sort of analytical vampire?
A small device was taken up from the desk and a vine placed inside, a small beeping sound emitted from the machine “just as I thought. With the this and report I received from your caretaker and xenopsychologist, I should have all that I need.” It could not possibly be that easy. She had never needed anything beyond hormones herself but knew from that experience and her friends' many problems that getting the right medication was never that easy…..But this was the affini and the class-G had worked very well…
Plus, she had promised Echina “alright, what do you think I need?” Getting her shit together was the true answer, not that any affini would accept that kind of agency for a poor little human like her.
Helian shuffled around a few papers on her desk before looking down at her “your caretaker already has the class-S need to prevent sensory overload grafted so that is fine. For the rest, we can start with the obvious. Class-E would go a long way to help with your depression and you need a regular regimen of class-Z to help you sleep and recover from burnout. Class-F will prevent destructive intrusive thoughts, though might require some hypnotherapy to adjust properly.” That was a lot…but it could have been worse. It got worse “class-D of the more internal mental variety will allow us to detangle some of your misconceptions more easily. Lastly a tiny dose of class-C to further socialization and combat your social anxiety.” How many letters of the alphabet was that? Four, no five, or six if you counted the class-S…This was insane. How much more would she need to be just as glassy-eyed as Lulu at the ice cream bar?
Rosa swallowed, trying to remain calm “are you sure all of those are necessary? I…um…would like to not be that inebriated if that is at all possible.” A cold rush filled every limb of her body, she broke eye contact with the affini and looked down at the floor.
There was a second of silence before Helian answered “yes I do think that all of this will have a positive impact. Is there something you are concerned about?” Where to even begin? From the sound of it the affini were going to scrabble her mind into nothing but a happy mush until they could mold it into something more to their liking…No, Echina wouldn’t do that, right?
Echina had been quiet throughout the entire but gave her a nod…Fuck, what was she supposed to say? Helian was the expert, her word was based on centuries of medical knowledge. Her own stance was based on what exactly? An Uncomfortable feeling that the affini no doubt saw as a result of her ‘almost feral’ mindset. Where was her usual bluster when she needed it?
She had said that she trusted Echina and Echina wanted her to do this... “sure…if you say so…I guess that works.” That was it, she had crossed the Rubicon, no way back now.
Helian paused before smiling “excellent, before ordering your mix from the lab I need the answers to a few last questions. They are of a rather sensitive nature, Echina could you wait outside for a little bit?”
“Oh, yes of course.” Echina stood up and used one of her vines to give Rosa a gentle pat on the shoulder “very proud of you.” The smile was almost enough to make all of this worth it by itself…she looked so happy.
The door closed behind the beautiful affini, and she was left with the relentless doctor instead. Helian’s face had taken on a very different look, somewhere between puzzled and concerned “what is going on?” it almost sounded like she was disappointed.
Rosa sat there flabbergasted by the change of attitude “I…I don’t understand, is this not what you want?”
Helian shook her head “I have been a vet for my last three blooms, and during that time I have never met a patient more opinionated, hardbarked, or resistant to my advice as you. Do you know how much I prepared for this session? I was expecting you to argue relentlessly on every point imaginable, I cleared my schedule because I anticipated this would take hours. The class-S and Z might go without issue, but I have prepared several dozen arguments for applying all the others. I was expecting a long, drawn-out verbal brawl like I have not had in centuries.” The affini deflated slightly “and what do I get instead? A single question before you cave with no objections. Echina does not strike me as an affini who would squash your fire within the second day, what is going on?”
Rosa was not sure if she was supposed to feel flattered or insulted, knowing the affini it was probably the former. “Is it such an issue that I am trying to be a bit less difficult, a bit less of pain in your and hers roots?” She had conceded, was that not enough?
Helian sighed “my approach with you was based around you being difficult. I expected to learn all that I needed while you called me a condescending imperialist or the like. Seeing as that is not going to work, could you tell me any and all concerns you have about the xenodrugs I have recommended?” The fact that the affini’s had created this approach and worse still that it would likely have worked was a sting to her pride.
At the same time…if her preferences were truly being taken into account, maybe Helian could be trusted. It was worth a shot “These changes feel too rapid, too intrusive. My mind might not be in the best place at the moment, but it is still my mind, and it has gotten me through a lot. I would rather prefer you don’t take a chemical battering ram to it if at all possible.” Her muscles had loosened slightly, the tension slowly ebbing away.
Helian’s vines moved and there was more sound of pencil on paper “fair enough, we can start on a low dose and go up or down from there depending on the results. This does mean that if the low dose does not do the trick we have to go higher. Anything more?” A conditional compromise was more than she had expected to get.
There was one other major concern “I want to remain independent, you know that. It feels like part of this is making me okay with being dependent on you affini and especially Echina, that is something I don’t want. Be honest, will these xenodrugs lessen the chance I am independent at the end of this at all?” The affini leaned back in the chair and nibbled on the pencil for a few seconds, the sharp needle teeth making quick work of the wood.
“I shall be honest, I have severe doubts that you will make it through this warship and get the result that you want if you do not take these xenodrugs. Whether or not the xenodrugs might make you wanting of a floret lifestyle is simply not something I can know. I can however promise that this is not a scheme to make you crave domestication, it is only to help you bloom into the beautiful flower I know you can become.” Her mind did not want to accept that, layers of systemic and dialectical analysis indicated otherwise.
A growing part of her however could not imagine that Helian was lying, the affini never did that and she seemed sincere. “Fine, I trust that you are not trying to trip me up…we can do what you are recommending.” A wide smile spread on the affini’s face, and she stood up from the chair.
Rosa stood up as Helian came close, the affini extended an open hand toward her. Instead of landing on her head like Rosa has expected the affini patted her on the shoulder “Thank you for your trust little firebrand, let us go talk to your caretaker.” With that they both walked outside…or rather Helian slithered along with her vines, there were no legs beneath her dress-like mesh of vines.
Echina stood up from the chair the moment they came out, however, Helian took the initiative <……….> Rosa rolled her eyes and leaned against the wall as the two affini continued to talk in their beautiful and incomprehensible language. Echina shot her a few concerned glances throughout the exclusive discussion, Rosa did her best to pretend she did not see that.
Once they were done Helian clapped her hands together, something that made remarkably little sound for them being so large “I will go and get the drugs ready from our gals at the lab downstairs. While you wait could I recommend the balcony on the 31st floor? It has a beautiful view.” Fresh air sounded like the best idea anyone had had in centuries.
The xenological medical professional left them at the elevator and the way up was filled with uncomfortable silence. Echina wanted to say something, that much was painfully obvious from the twitching of her vines. The elevator door opened and in place of the cold wind that she had expected Rosa found warm golden streaks of sunlight warm her face. The “balcony” as Helian had described it was more of a massive park on the side of the building.
Paths of white cobblestone made their way along beds of flowers, trees, and bushes. Some of the flora was alien…or at least that was what she expected. Centhia was not known for its nature, the first time she had seen a tree in real life was at the age of eight. Structures of glass and paths of grass, a common description of the upper-class districts. To the affini constructing an Eden such as this must have been trivial. Despite this Rosa could not shake the feeling of walking along luxury that would have been prohibitively expensive to see before and cost more money than she would make in her life to create.
She and Echina sat down beneath a tree that Rosa was sure had never graced a terran world. It was tall and thin, with patterned brown bark and no branches except for a crown of long sloid green leaves at its top. There were a few other people around, but the park was large and gave them enough space to talk.
Echina sighed and looked at her sorrowfully “sorry, I…I didn’t mean to pressure you into something you didn’t want…I…I just…I’m sorry.” Oh….A cold sunken feeling began to spread from her stomach.
No, that was not….fuck “Echina, I am far too autistic to let social pressure affect me like that. All I wanted was to make things…I don’t know, a bit easier for you….and I trust you.” A small gust of wind rustled through the strange trees, their heavy leaves bristling.
Echina’s eyes were a deep blue color “how many times do I have to say that you don’t have to make this easier for me, especially not at the cost of your ow-“
“Bullshit!” Rosa practically glared at the startled affini “can you stop saying that? Because…Because I know how miserable I make you.” The last words didn’t come out right, a lump in her throat making them sound like a whimper. Rosa couldn’t hold eye contact any longer “when I broke down this morning…I saw that I hurt you, you looked miserable and still, you cared more about me than yourself. I don’t have the right to dump my shit on you, and I don’t give a damn about what your affini philosophy has to say on the matter. It is not right. So, stop saying that I shouldn’t consider you when I am making your life so much worse.” A long silence followed as the air got cold, a sheet of impenetrable gray autumn clouds signaling the end of sunshine for a while.
The affini finally moved and Rosa looked up from her lap into Echina’s eyes. The wonderful glowing orbs held a combination of sorrow, regret, resolve, and…fear “do you want to know the truth?” Rosa nodded weakly, feeling a few tears run down her cheek in the process. “When I awoke this morning and did not find you nuzzled on my chest or anywhere else I could see….I panicked. You were only in the other room over but that did not stop my mind from creating the most horrible scenarios possible, filling me with more dread than you can possibly imagine. I am not sure entirely when it started…maybe after you got attacked by those ferals in that alleyway…the fact is that unless you are in the room with me, unless I can make sure that you are okay…I…I can’t stop thinking what would happen if something…something was to go wrong.” The flowers on Echina’s form had all but wilted, lifeless leaves covering the ground around her.
“You are such an independent spirit, so full of energy and determination. I know I can’t watch over you like you were my floret, it would be self-indulgent and wrong…but when I saw you dying, covered in blood on those stairs…I….I.” For the first time in her life, Rosa saw an affini breakdown, it was a heart-wrenching sight. Echina’s vines curled up, their edges becoming limp and lifeless, like all the energy the affini had left was being balled up toward her core. Her eyes become endless pits of black, reflecting not a single shimmer of light or emotion.
Rosa instinctively placed a hand on Echina’s knee, it was cold “that was you…I thought it was Saccharu who brought me to the hospital, why…why were you there?” After what she had done, what possible reason could Echina have to come?
Echina looked down at her, the eyes emitting more sorrow than she could ever comprehend “despite you not wanting me there…I had to make sure that you were okay, safe…and…and I was too late.” The affini shook and closed her eyes, the words of pure horror. “The force I have mustered each day to not intrude upon your life has been immense. Even on the busiest of days, an hour would not go by where my mind was not consumed with the thought of what could happen to you. Then, I was given an excuse to visit you for the wellness check…we can argue about the philosophy and politics of responsibility all day, and it would never come close to convincing my core that I have not failed you repeatedly.”
Her first instinct was indeed to argue that Echina had no responsibility for her life. How could she have been such an idiot and seen that this was far beyond reason and argument? Seeing Echina like this was worse than any of her own pain, it cut deeper in a soul-crushing way “could you hold me?”
At first, Echina looked at her puzzled and then she shook her head “don’t you see that me indulging in this is only making it worse? The problems of my mind should not, will not be placed upon you.“
Rosa grabbed one of the vines and tugged it to her chest “hold me…please.” Echina stared down at her in shock, then suddenly her form came to life once more. Warm hands lifted her up and vines wrapped themselves tightly around her. The cold air was replaced by the warm embrace of vines gently squeezing her like she was the world's largest plushie.
The dark eyes slowly began to turn lighter shades of blue “you don’t need to do this….” It was a feeble statement, Echina’s voice quivering like the wind.
Rosa raised a hand and touched the affini’s face, the vines were so warm “just answer me one thing…why do you care so much?” Echina tried to look away, but the hand kept her face in place, their eyes continuing to stare into each other.
Finally, Echina’s eyes turned a beautiful purple “I think I love you…I think I have since the day we met.”
Rosa did not have a response for that, and that was perhaps for the best. Instead, she nuzzled herself further into the all-encompassing vines and let more tears fall onto the lattice around her. Echina loved her?.....it didn’t make sense, but somehow it did at the same time…her mind refused to understand it. Rosa looked up at the alien tree above them and followed its swaying as she found comfort in the warmth, closeness, and love.
A long time later there was the sound of something coming closer “there you are, my two favorite hypocrites. I have the xenodrug mix on vine and the graft will be ready in a few days. We need to take some tests to see how it affects your system so it's best if you take it before going home.” Helian had an outrageously satisfied smirk on er face and was holding a canister of pink liquid in one vine.
Echina untangled her slightly and placed her down on her lap “would it be okay if I inject it now?” oh stars, she had forgotten all about the xenodrugs! There was something intimidating about the pink liquid and Rosa felt her heart begin to beat slightly faster. A large hand was placed reassuringly on her shoulder “we can wait…breathe slowly and tell me when you are ready.” The vines underneath her moved like the tides and brought her closer to the affini so she could lean against her.
Helian sat down next to them and stayed silent, leaning against the alien tree herself while looking up at the rain heavy clouds. Rosa closed her eyes and focused on breathing…it was going to be fine, it was supposedly a small dose. At this point, she was likely setting herself up for disappointment. Echina would never have asked her to do this if it was not going to help her, it was going to be fine “I’m ready.”
A vine moved her shirt, and she felt a tiny sting in her left arm…then a subtle warmth began to flow from the point. It spread rapidly through her body and then the real effects began to manifest. It came slowly, like fog slowly disappearing before the morning sun. Her sight became clearer, her eyes easier to keep open and alert…even the colors looked more vibrant than before. A pain in the back of her neck and shoulders first became noticeable and then ebbed away…pain was maybe the wrong word, weight was more appropriate.
Rosa blinked and felt more awake than she had in…stars knows how long. The slothful buzz in her mind was not gone, but it had lessened considerably. In some ways it was startling, the beneficial effects of the xenodrugs showcasing pains that had blended into the background and become standard. Her body, heart, and mind; everything felt so much lighter than before.
A hand caressed her hair “how are you feeling?” Both of the affini were looking at her with eager anticipation.
There were too many changes, her mind felt like a completely different beast than before “better, way better. Thank you.” Her voice was slightly slurred, not anything one would recognize unless you listened to it. She looked directly up at Echina, and the previously wilted flowers bloomed in a wave starting from the affini’s face and then all the way down. The eyes had shifted color again taking on a wonderful golden color.
Helian beamed “awwww, I can not express how happy it makes me hear you say that. I still need to take those tests so if you could follo-“
Rosa had yet to break eye contact with the wonder above her “I don’t want to leave Echina, could she carry me there?” Her caretaker's blush transformed into absolute fluster, vines untangling from her form and eyes darting from side to side.
“I…are you….I mean…-“ The complete nonsense was silenced as Helian rolled her eyes and interrupted.
“Rosa has been a very good girl today, I think it more than fitting that you carry her down. If not, I will do it.” The response was immediate. In a single motion, Echina both stood up and lifted her up into a tight carry close to her chest. “No need to get defensive, it was merely a suggestion. Your ward needs to eat soon so let us get this trifling matter out of the way, pronto.”
As Echina carried her towards the elevator Rosa could not help but notice how easy it was to get comfortable in the vines, it almost defied logic. Her caretaker continued to shoot rapid glances down at her, a new flower blooming somewhere on her form each time. “Let me help you, okay?” It was only fair.
Echina stopped moving for a few seconds as she continued to stare down at her, a wide smile on her face “oh my sparkling little wonder, you most assuredly are.” She then leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead before taking the last steps into the elevator.
Chapter 10: Crossing the Line
Notes:
CW: self deprecation
It returns from the dead! After 7 months in development, hopefully it will have been worth the wait.
Thank you for the patience, hope you all enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
------------------------Centhia, North New Bergen, Hab complex Ceria, 26.04.2555, 12:23--------------------------
The warm smell of garlic was the first thing Rosa noticed as she awoke. Her body felt rested, yet there was no anxiety to spend the energy on. Still, waking up was probably a good idea What would be the problem of sleeping for a few more minutes? There was something too irresistible about the soft fabrics, the perfect warmth, the fluffy plush squeezed in her embrace.
There was the rustling of something not too far away, the smell of garlic becoming stronger in the air. Echina was making her food…again. How many times in a row was that? Too many. It was fine, she shouldn’t worry too much. Wait … No, actually it wasn’t fine. Rosa overpowered the pleasant muffling feelings and tore herself out of bed.
A new pair of clothes had been prepared on the chair along with a cold glass of water on the nightstand. Seriously? Sure, the clothes were nice enough, not floret-like at all but….Did Echina think she couldn’t have chosen them on her own? Nah, that was probably not it. More likely it was simply a way of being nice, taking care of her. Rosa swallowed the bitter feeling, trying to not think too much about it. She had to get through this one way or another, fresh clothes were hardly outrageous.
The conversation from yesterday at the ve- Medical clinic, emerged without invitation. Making sure she was fine was far more than just some cultural indoctrination on Echina’s part, the affini had seen her injured, dying. The memory of that event also came to mind, not bettering her minor nausea in the slightest. This was all her fault …..? What? A thought had come and then slipped out of her mind, like forgetting something one was about to say but in reverse.
That made no sense, what had it been? Rosa retraced her train of thought: being frustrated that Echina was seemingly doing everything for her, remembering the conversation at the clinic, the fact that Echina was partly doing all of this as a trauma response and… and it was all her, No, not again! Rosa clutched onto the thought, it was…it was her fault—this whole situation was a direct consequence of her actions.
Any vindication for holding onto the thought was immediately undercut by what it actually was. At the same time, it was not new. She had known what the root of the problem was before the wardship began. Why the hell had- The xenodrugs! That was the thing fucking with her mind. The revelation was less anxiety-inducing than it should have been…probably the xenodrugs at work on that too.
It was a small dose. That had to be the reason she could overcome it with enough effort. That was some sort of relief, her mind was still hers as long as she fought for it. And how long would that last? Until the affini were not content with the effects and upped the dose. Not a pleasant scenario, yet the point of the xenodrugs was to make her life better. Was it such a bad thing to not feel all of the guilt ? It was not a pleasant feeling to keep…but it was hers, and it was correct.
The desire to give in to the drugs was brushed aside, she needed to think clearly. Any hope of doing so was dashed as Echina appeared in the doorway “Good morning Rosa. Slept well?” The affini was more at ease than she had in a long time, the red flowers in full bloom all over her form.
Rosa caught herself staring and looked away “Pretty good to be honest. What about you?” She could address her worries later, Echina deserved a good peaceful morning considering what she had gone through.
“Good, though I do not need as much sleep as you, so I have had plenty of time to prepare breakfast. How does garlic bread with ice cream for dessert sound?” Echina moved closer, an adoring golden light in her eyes.
Rosa chuckled “For breakfast? Shouldn’t I eat something…healthier?” The excitement in the affini’s voice was hard to not get wrapped up in.
Echina smiled wider, her vines wiggling slightly “This meal fulfills all your nutritional needs. I assure you. Now, will I need to carry you to the table? Or will you come willingly?” It was an amused and empty threat…or maybe an invitation.
Either way “I can walk myself thank you very much.” She said, playing it off casually. While following Echina to the dining table Rosa looked for any telltale signs of disappointment in her ward. Nothing, that was good, but always best to make sure. A plate of perfectly made garlic bread was waiting for her once she climbed the steps to her chair, the smell was delicious. The taste was no less so, each bite soft and filled with buttery goodness. As soon as she was finished with one piece, she started on another, taking moments to savor the taste from time to time.
Once there were only two pieces left Rosa took a glance to where Echina was sitting. The affini’s attention was directed solely at her, the golden eyes shining with adoration. “Is there something the matter?” With how Echina looked at her, one might almost think the affini was smitten with her.
Flashing her a smile, Rosa ate the last two pieces “Nothing, nothing at all.” Her mischievous tone left nothing to the imagination.
Echina blushed in that peculiar affini way, red flowers blooming up and down her form. “Well, I…mmm” The data pad on the table lit up with a notification. “Thank the Everbloom,” the affini uttered beneath her breath. “Hold on a second.”
Rosa smiled and waited to tease the affini more, the frown that developed on Echina’s face dispelling that want. “Is there something wrong?” Had some committee made a decision about her future already?
The datapad was placed back on the table “No, it is nothing. Just a slight schedule delay which means I will have to cancel something. But it is no issue.” A likely story. The rapid shift in her attitude could only mean one thing: it was something being sacrificed for her ‘benefit’. That familiar cold feeling dredged itself up, pushing past the soothing xenodrugs.
“What did you have to cancel, and where are you bringing me instead?” It would have been satisfying to know that she made the affini stumble had it not been for the circumstances.
The affini hesitated before speaking. “I am bringing you to the domestication center for a therapy session.” Wonderful…Rosa raised an eyebrow waiting for Echina to finish. After a great deal more hesitation, she did. “I had an appointment that needed to be moved forward, but then I would have to leave you at the center for a few hours. I know that your experience there the last two times was…not the best, so I am canceling my appointment, that is all.”
Bullshit, that was not all. “What type of appointment?” She was obviously skirting around the issue but what the hell would she want to hide? “If you don’t tell me I am going to be a pain in your roots all day, so just spit it out.”
The moderate amount of humor injected into her words lightened the situation a tad, and the edges of Enchain’s mouth involuntarily curved. “Alright…you are very hard to argue with, xenodrugs or no. The truth is that I had booked a therapy appointment after what happened yesterday. I realized that the only way I am going to help you properly is if I sort my mind on that issue.” She finally conceded, with no small part of shame and embarrassment.
The cold feeling in her chest intensified “You are not canceling the appointment. I won’t allow you.” How had it come to this? “I can stay in a building alone for a couple of hours, understood?” This was all her fault. She felt it coming this time, her mind trying to change course — she forced the correct thoughts through.
Echina hesitated again, she was worried about her “Rosa, I just have to reschedule my appointment. You do not have to push yourself for my benefit. This is okay.” Rosa felt her hands clench into fists.
Of course it was not okay! “I think the xenodrugs will help and I wanted to stay there for a bit and talk to Myrtaca after the session either way. It's about Veronica…” Lies. Elegant diligent lies, Veronica did not deserve her barging into her life again; not after how she had failed her. Rosa looked up and smiled reassuringly. “I will be fine.” Yet another necessary lie.
Echina nodded “If you are sure…” A few more taps were made on the data pad. “There…I told them I am still coming.” It was a reluctant concession, Rosa could sense it clear as day. But it had still been done. After breakfast, the affini gave her some time to prepare and then they left the apartment. Once out she noticed another part of the xenodrugs manipulation, all the annoying sounds that used to scratch at her attention were subdued. It was relaxing…soothing, even. Part of her fully expected some loud noise or sudden sensory overload to intrude on her life. Yet even that anxiety was lessened a good deal. Not gone, though…probably because she convinced them to give her such a low dose.
Rosa kept her hands deep in the pockets of her jacket “So…what do you think they will ask about?” Echina looked down with a puzzled expression. “At therapy. What do you think they want to talk to me about? How great it is to be a floret?” It was nice to have gotten a good night’s sleep, but her body still felt weary and fatigued like usual.
Echina shrugged “It might come up, but Quercus is not known for being too pushy. If anything, it is a safe environment for you to express what troubles you….and maybe you could even talk about some of the traumatic events that have happened recently?” The suggestion was offered carefully and Rosa could feel her irritation towards herself grow. Of course, she should have handled that stuff before now. Before Echina had to drag her to a bloody therapist of all things.
“Yeah…” A slightly awkward silence blew over them with a cold gust of autumn wind. There were not too many people out today, most probably preferring to stay inside and enjoy a warm drink than venture through the windy streets. The affini that were passing by tended to give her sympathetic looks. Did she really look that pathetic? At least they were not trying to cheer her up with headpats…Maybe they assumed Echina would do that instead. With her gaze focused even more on the ground in front of her, Rosa retreated as far back into her mind as possible.
The xenodrugs were a hard thing to unravel and so far she was not sure how to feel about them. On one hand, she did feel a lot better. On the other hand, it was trying to make her feel better. Feel better about letting Echina take care of her, not feeling so bad about all the stuff she was guilty of, or being a depressive raincloud for every sophont that ever talked to her. Was that bad? was it not okay to…feel better about that stuff? That was hardly the point, was it? To focus on how she felt about it instead of how she was making everyone else feel…was that not selfish?… no one had indicated she was a burden — And that did not matter. She was responsible for herself. No matter what the affini might think. Yet at the same time, they were in this situation, and letting the affini help her did seem to make her feel better.
And then was the fact that Echina…loved her. Rosa felt very unprepared to try to unravel those emotions and did not have the time as a sudden loud noise broke her train of thought. It was the sounds of a gathered crowd. A very specific type of crowd.
A demonstration had formed around the front of the domestication center. Banners, signs, and fists filling the air. It was a sight Rosa Had seen many times before. The shouts of liberation, the will of the people coming together in righteous anger and determination to make a change. It was hard to not be compelled by it. Part of her wanted to join in the shouting. But instead, she flinched… Soon the shouts would turn to screams, a shield wall of masked garrison enforcers pushing forward with batons, water cannons, and rubber bullets. The smoke of teargas, people rushing to save their friends choking on it with water, and then the arrests as the demonstration fractured.
“Rosa? Are you okay?” Echina looked down at her, concerned…as usual. Rosa shook herself, trying to clear her mind. It was just a demonstration, and this would not turn out like so many of the ones she had attended before. The affini were not known for using teargas. Indeed it looked like the affini were only keeping the demonstration at a comfortable distance from the Domestication center, their vines tied together to form a barrier, a path was also made for visors. Emotions were running high, but it was pretty far from turning into a clash…though on Centhia that could change quite rapidly.
On any other day, she would probably have been a part of the crowd or organized the demonstration herself. Today, however…she only felt fragile, the determination not surfacing as usual. Rosa realized she had yet to answer the concerned affini. “I am fine, let’s just get inside.” She shot Echina a fake smile and took the initiative, keeping her head down as they walked past the couple affini keeping the path open.
They had not gotten far before one terran slid under the barrier and stepped onto the path “Hey.” The tattoos on his neck indicated he was more than likely part of the New Bergen cultural underground. “You are the gall who made all those speeches…” His gaze lowered to the cuffs, before raising to Echina behind her. “Are they domesticating you?!” The implication was obvious, and he had not made the comment with a quiet voice. The shouts started to intensify as more and more of the crowd’s attention was directed at her.
Rosa felt herself shrink slightly, nervously shaking her head at the affini who seemed ready to guide the artist back to the crowd. “I am just in a wardship….” Her words did not seem to do a lot to convince him. “I am only here for some therapy…please let us pass.” Come on….please just go. She could not deny how it looked, a political activist who was now shackled with an affini to watch over them? Could political suppression be more obvious? Yet, it was not. As far as she knew the affini did not care in the slightest about what she had said…only her wellbeing.
He was about to say something when an affini put a vine on his shoulder “Little one, I am going to ask you to return to the others. Let her pass so she can have her therapy session.” Void…this was not going to end well.
The man spun around “Therapy? More like reeducation! Do you think we don’t know what you are doing? You might have gotten rid of the boots, but this is just like before!” Shouts of agreement and chants mixed into a torrent of angry noise. Her ears were starting to hurt, and she felt herself shrink more and more. The artist and affini were arguing, and the crowd was starting to push against the vine barrier. Get yourself together, you need to fix this, get them to all calm down before…get your shit together! This is your fault, and you need to take some star damned respo-
There was a prick in her shoulder and the noise died down like someone had pulled a heavy blanket over it all. Vines grabbed her and lifted her gently up and then they were moving, past the crowd, past the affini, and into the domestication center. Rosa hardly knew what had happened before they came to a stop.
Inside the air was fresh and floral-scented, the heat of the crowd gone. Echina was still holding her, eyes tinted red “Are you okay Rosa?” The affini’s vines were curling and uncurling, and the hold around her was almost too tight.
She was remembering the incidents, fuck! Deeply ingrained instincts kicked into effect “I’m fine.” She said as her hand began stroking up and down the affini’s arm at a calm, slow pace. “I was a bit overwhelmed and surprised, nothing more. Understand?” Echina nodded but her gaze seemed very far away. The instinctual urge was to ask her to breathe slowly, but affini don’t breathe like that, right? What could she…. Rosa nuzzled into the vines and pressed her head against a hand. The reaction was almost immediate as the hold around her grew less tense. Fingers began to scratch against her scalp, which was admittedly a nice feeling.
Rosa looked up at Echina who was entirely enthralled in the moment. A nice golden sheen to her eyes she smiled and scratched a bit more, letting out a soft cooing sound. And then stopped, her face suddenly twisting and eyes shifting color to purple. Without a word, the affini let her down on the ground. “Why did you…why did you do that?” She said, frustration in her voice.
Taken aback Rosa stalled for a moment “I…well…you were having a panic attack and I thought that…yesterday I. Fuck…I wanted to help you, okay?” Terrans needed to breathe slowly, and affini apparently needed to pet someone. Did it have to be more complicated than that? “Are you angry?”
Echina’s vines were stiff like the affini was stretching them like one might flex a muscle. “I am angry at myself. You were in need of care, not me. But I froze up thinking about- You should not have needed to do that.”
That familiar bluster flared up in her chest “Why not? Did you not agree to let me help you yesterday?” The confusion was not helping her emotions at all.
“We did, but not at the cost of yourself. I will not allow you to ignore your own needs to help me with mine.” Echina interrupted her before she could protest. “Be honest, are you doing good right now?”
She had a point—No she did not! Rosa instinctively looked out the glass door at the protest, the affini looked to still have it under control but her arrival had made that a lot more difficult. She needed to go out there, tell them something to make everything calm down. Maybe once Echina had left…
The silence answered for her. “That is what I thought.” Echina concluded with a sour tone.
This wasn’t right! “Why do my needs come before yours?” Rosa asked with more than a little indignation. Was she not allowed to help her friends just because she felt a bit sad or worried?
Echina grew in size, or maybe that was just her imagination “Because I am your caretaker. And there will be no arguing on this point, am I understood?” Rosa was not sure she had ever seen the affini this mad, she would have to discuss this with her when she had calmed down. “Good…now let us find you a waiting room, I will be staying with you to make sure you do not go out there.” But that meant…
“No. No, if you don’t go to your therapy I refuse to go to mine.” The pins on her jacket clanged as she stamped her foot. “Did you not show why you need your session just now? I won't go out, it never even crossed my mind.” She folded her arms, having put down her ultimatum.
More of the vines twitched, and Echina leaned down “I do not trust you, and so I will watch over you. We also need to have a long talk about what your priorities should be.” That stung, a sharp uncomfortable feeling in her chest. Worst of all the affini was dead on, something that only made it sting that much more.
Rosa relented, and avoided the affini’s gaze “Okay…what if you put me to sleep with class-Z? There must be a dozen or more far-too-comfy spaces for me to sleep until my therapy session. You can go to your session and once we get home we can talk.” Compromise, one of her least favorite concepts.
Echina relaxed, standing up at full height once more “Fine.” A flower was suddenly in front of her face and then she felt the familiar feeling of enforced sleep wash over her like a wave of syrup.
-------------------Centhia, North New Bergen, Domestication center 4c, 26.04.2555, 14:37 -----------------------
Echina placed Rosa down on the soft pet bed, tucking her into a nice and warm blanket. The little terran was sleeping so calmly, soft little sounds emerging from her every now and then, making her core warm. She petted her ward a tiny bit before walking to the door where Myrtaca waited. “Make sure she is okay and that she gets a bit of food before her session.” She really did not want to leave, letting Rosa be alone…or rather without her, her vines shivered.
Myrtaca entwined a vine with hers “Of course I will…I heard you two had an argument in the lobby. Is the wardship being more difficult than expected?” Oh, where to even begin?
She tried to find a good way to summarize it “It’s been up and down. She is pronouncedly hard-barked and strong-willed as we both know rather well. And her propensity to put everyone else’s, including me, interests before her own is…challenging to deal with. It appears that she is most likely to accept affection when she wants to help me, which is very sweet. But also not the most…” She struggled to find the words.
Myrtaca nodded “Not the most convincing argument to put in front of the committee?” Her friend was as usual very perceptive. “Rosa has built up a very sturdy exterior to cope with the facts of her life in the wild. You might need to break that down a good deal, and soften her up. letting her listen to your biorhythm might be a good first step.” That…
How was she going to handle this? “If anything that might make her even less cooperative, she is very sensitive to not being treated as an ‘equal’. Nevertheless, I have to agree that the argument in the lobby proved she has some misunderstanding about how all of this is supposed to work.” She wanted to treat Rosa as an equal, anything else flew in the face of the relationship they had built…and at the same time Rosa seemed to want to use that equality to deny herself of needs and care. Maybe a more heavy-vined approach was needed soon.
“I am sure that whatever happens it will all work out for the best, and that no one is better suited to handle this than you.” A vine ruffled through a few of her sulking flowers “Now, you need to leave if you are going to make your session. I will take care of Rosa. She is as utterly safe as any xeno can be.”
Echina reluctantly followed the social worker out of the room and gave her goodbyes. With every step away from the room her anxiety spiked a little more. What if Rosa woke up?...she had drugged her pretty solidly. What if some of the Terrans broke in and kidnapped her?...even her own anxiety did not manage to make that scenario work. Myrtaca was right, Rosa was safe. She still wanted nothing more than to be so very close to her right this instant.
Taking the backdoor Echina avoided the ongoing demonstration and strode over one of the hedges by extending her legs another couple of meters. Her therapist was close, having taken up residence in one of the old outreach centers that had been made during the initial invasion. Entering the waiting room there were no terrans around, save for one floret who was sleeping peacefully on their owner’s lap. About 10 minutes later a sparklingly colorful affini entered the waiting room “Echina, glad you could make it. Sorry about pushing the session forward but my schedule has become a tad more busy than usual.” Clematis guided her into their office.
The office was covered in greenery, a few absolutely adorable pictures of florets hung on the walls. “Do you have a preferred way of shape and communication?” There were several seating arrangements, everything from a pond to soft soil to a chair.
“Sitting and talking I think, I have gotten used to the terran form quite well.” The therapist nodded and they both sat down. “Thank you for giving me a session on such short notice.”
Clematis waved a hand in playful dismissal “No issue at all, very happy to help. Tell me if you need some mineralized water, a floret to help you calm down, or anything like that/of the sort, okay?” Echina nodded but said nothing. “Good,” They looked through some notes “You are here because you told me that your ward was injured and that you have been experiencing heavy levels of anxiety because of it. Please tell me everything you are comfortable with.”
Echina settled herself and took a second to arrange her thoughts. “There were two main incidents, both before she was my ward. One time she was attacked by ferals in an alleyway, it was only coincidence that I had followed her to give her something she had lost… However, I was not in time to stop them from already having sustained some minor injuries.” If only she had been a bit faster, not taken it as a leisurely stroll while coming up with a plan to get to see Rosa’s hab. “After that…we had a falling out due to a political issue and I did not see her for about two weeks as she absorbed herself in work. Then…there was the second incident. One of the terrans at a gathering she had organized had gotten hold of a gun and after my ward got in a verbal disagreement with them they shot her. Three times. She fell down the stairs and…and…” The images started to rush forth. The trail of blood on the staircase, the confused look on Rosa’s face as she saw blood on her hands and the wounds continuing to let out blood as she carried her to the vet.
A vine was placed on her shoulder “Focus on your core, listen to it, and taste the air.” Echina did as asked and slowly felt herself calm down, the images receding from the front of her mind. “Good, I understand that it was a terrible experience. Can you tell me how remembering makes you feel?”
“It feels like my core is about to shrivel up, that I need her safe in my vines to make sure nothing like that can happen again. I am afraid for her, that I failed to protect her, that she suffered because I was not there to protect her.” She paused before finishing “And bad for letting it affect my duty to take care of her during the wardship period.”
The therapist wrote something down and looked thoughtful for a moment “Affecting it how?”
Echina could feel her vines had grown very tense, she tried and halfway succeeded in letting them relax “She wants autonomy and to be treated as an equal. Something that is very incompatible with my want to keep her as close as possible at all times to make sure she is safe. Earlier today there was an episode with some protestors where my ward got overwhelmed and scared. Instead of focusing on making sure she was okay, I began thinking about what could have happened and…she had to help me out of it.” What a mess, she should never have accepted being Rosa’s caretaker.
“Do you view her as your floret?” Clematis pondered, her expression curious.
For a second she imagined just that. Rosa happy and collared in her vines. Wait, what had they said? View Rosa as her floret? “Absolutely not. She wants to be independent, and I hope to help her be that if it is defensible for her to be so.”
“Let me put it another way: do you worry and think about other xenos in the same way?” Echina stumbled, trying to find some counterargument. “Being aware and accepting your feelings for your ward is not going to do any harm.” She halted her attempt and retreated back into the chair.
Did she think of Rosa as her floret? ...it did not feel right, but what Clematis said made perfect sense. Rosa’s welfare was important to her more than any other xeno or affini friend. The urge to take care of, the feeling of responsibility… the need to keep her safe. “I promised her I would not domesticate her when the wardship began.” Was this not proving Rosa right when it came to domestication? That the Compact’s philosophy was shaped around affini desires and cultural hegemony. “I want her to be happy, that is all.”
Clematis smiled gently “That has been obvious since we first talked. How would you imagine her happy?”
The question churned in her core for about a minute “Maybe accepting that she does not have to take responsibility for everything. Not locking away her emotions the second she suspects anyone else might be feeling down. Allowing her needs to be taken care of, not feeling like that is making her a burden on those around her…” The words felt stuck, and then she let go. “…Letting me take care of her. From time to time at least.” It sort of felt good to admit that.
The colorful flowers waved as Clematis nodded and wrote more down. “Indeed, and you could do that even if she was independent. Would you be comfortable with her assisting you when it was needed? Like she did this morning.”
Echina focused on one of the plants climbing up the wall, its purple fruits hanging from long vines and down to the ground. If the context was ignored it had been a nice experience…and Rosa did want to help her. “So long as it never came at the cost of her own wellbeing.” That was inexcusable on every front.
“Would that remain the case after the wardship? Should she be allowed to stay independent, that is.” Her instinctual answer was no…but why?
The wardship was the reasoning she had given Rosa several times…and used for herself as well. “I do not feel comfortable with it…” She thought back to the protest. “We only want to give the terrans everything they would ever need. Why are they so fearful and resistant to that?”
Clematis put down the notebook and pen “They have grown to live without it, to survive in far too difficult conditions. They justified what they had to do, what they had to sacrifice, and built their lives and identity on that. I suppose when we offer everything it can be scary to leave all of that behind.” And what if they did not want to leave it behind at all?
--------------------Centhia, North New Bergen, Domestication center 4c, 26.04.2555, 16:14-----------------------
Rosa nuzzled closer into the comfy bedding, getting up would mean she had to go to therapy and that was not tempting at all. Echina must have dosed her with some deadly precision because she had scarcely been awake for more than a few minutes as the door opened. Quercus stepped inside, the brown-barked affini still had those silly empty bark glasses on. “Hello Rosa, we can start now….but you do look very comfortable, do you want five more minutes?” The prospect suddenly was far less appealing.
She got out of the pile of soft blankets and stretched “No, we can start now. Lead the way.” The affini did seem a bit disappointed but did lead her to his office. It was just like last time, the only real change being that the sun outside the window was higher in the sky. Or it would have been, were it not overcast with rain-heavy clouds. Quercus sat down and indicated she do the same, which she did in the end “How are you doing, friend?” Friend? Rosa stared at the affini perplexed, who shrugged in response “I took it that you preferred other terms of endearment, if that is wrong I am very happy to change.”
So friend was a replacement for cutie, petal, dear, and so on…Rosa shrugged “Would it not be easier to talk to me normally?... Either way, I am doing…” She stopped, how was she doing? “--fine? Something along those lines. I expect you have some subject you want to convince me of so we can skip to that if you don’t mind.” She was nervous enough as it was, tiptoeing around the subject with pleasantries would not help that.
The ‘xeno’therapist chuckled and pushed his glasses up his long branch-like nose “As sharp as ever. Glad to see that. Let us start with your wardship, how do you feel that is going?” Time to be careful and honest. She doubted any lie would last for very long and would reflect very poorly upon her ability to be independent.
So gentle and nebulous honesty it was “It is not all bad, though I am not a fan of being treated like I am inferior.” She did not even want to get into the whole core and biorhythm thing, so best to stay clear of it.
There was some scribbling on a data pad, the pen making a sound even though there was no reason for it to do so. “Could you elaborate on what you mean by ‘being treated as an inferior’?” The question was asked with a perfectly genuine tone.
“The way affini look at me, the fact that Echina makes basically all of my food…in short none of you seem to think that I can take care of myself.” Sometimes it felt sinking and shameful, at other times infuriating and humiliating. Bottom line, she did not like it.
Quercus paused, evaluating his next words. “You cannot take care of yourself Rosa; that is why you are here. And your ability to do so is not linked to your value in any way. Offering you help or extra accommodation is not something affini do because we view you as lesser, it is only what we think would make you happy.”
That…fuck, she hated that on a purely intellectual level she knew the affini was speaking earnestly. That did not make the sinking and shameful feeling any less potent.
Rosa straightened herself in the chair, trying to stay calm “Why can’t I get help when I ask for help? I hate feeling like a raincloud that needs to be coddled every time I step into a room.” At least before all this, she could choose when to open up but with the shackles her status was practically and probably literally broadcast to every affini in a five-kilometer radius.
Once again Quercus spoke very matter-of-factly “The reason you are in a wardship is because you had that privilege and did not handle it appropriately. That is not your fau-“ Bullshit!
“How is it not my fault?! How is being this burnt-out, exhausted, pathetic mess not my fault?” Why did the affini feel the need to take away her agency at every single point, even from her in the past?
She had spoken loudly…and maybe a bit too forcefully…and maybe with a bit too much self-deprecation…void. “That perception of yourself is as unhealthy as it is invalid. Yes, you are in this situation in part due to your own choices, but we both know there are plenty of outside factors contributing that you have no control over.” A slightly curious look at entered Quercus’s eyes, like they were inspecting her more carefully.
Rosa crossed her arms and leaned back “Sure, but that is no excuse for me not having my shit together and becoming a problem for everyone else.” How could he not understand how bad it felt?...because he was an affini, who was never at risk to be put in her situation.
“Hmmm, could you clear up something for me? There is a matter I do not fully understand.” Rosa shrugged. “I will take that as a yes. In your profile, there is a lot of mention about you helping other sophonts either individually or as part of mutual aid. My confusion then comes from why you have such a…difficult time accepting help yourself.” He was calling her a hypocrite… and wasn’t she?
She fumbled with the question for a little bit, going back and forth on how to answer “I…I have always been a helper I suppose and, being a person others can rely on kind of means you have to have your shit together even when you don’t. The position you have put me in…it feels very antithetical to my identity and way of life.” Gentle, and in her opinion somewhat eloquent honesty.
The ‘xeno’therapist nodded in agreement “Very well put, thank you Rosa. Before we move on could I ask another question?” She shrugged again “I was told you were on a dose of a variety of xenodrugs, but I do not detect that you are much different from your usual self. Is there a reason for that?” He was not happy with how little it was affecting her…
How to get out of this one? “I suppose I am on a bit of a low dose.” He wrote something down “But I do feel an effect. I’m honestly happy with the level they are at right now.” She quickly added.
He pushed his glasses up once more with a stray vine, seeing as they continuously slid down his ‘nose’ “I would like for you to be honest about this with me, are you intentionally working against the effects?” Fuck…. “With such a low dose it would not be unreasonable for a sophont who is as introspective as yourself to notice the changes and nudges and overcompensate in the other direction to counteract the effect.” Fuck… “Is that what you are doing? If you want I can give you some class-D.” Fuck, Fuck!
“No, I…I don’t need any class-D.” What the hell was she supposed to say? Telling the truth would certainly have the affini do some hypnotic rewiring of her mind, or simply mark her down for domestication on the spot. Lying, if it worked, was no better as the affini would increase the xenodrug dose until she was accepting every word they said and cared for nothing but sleeping in Echina’s lap. Rosa shook the image out of her head.
She would somehow have to thread the needle, not giving too much on either side. “I am aware of the changes, at least to some extent. And some of it is hard to accept,” Half-truths and half-lies". It's strange and…maybe even a bit uncomfortable to have something affect my mind in this way. It is only my first day on this mix of xenodrugs and I think I can learn to adapt to them.” In the way the affini were hoping? Probably not.
Quercus kept inspecting her, not writing anything down. “Thank you for the answer Rosa.” After another five seconds, he started to scribble something, each synthetic scratch making her feel more nervous. “Seeing as you are having difficulties acclimating to the wardship, might I suggest something?” This was not going to be good…but she was already pushing the edge of what would be allowed. “That you try out how it is to be a floret for a week or so. Allow Echina to take care of you and help you with as much as she sees fit. It can be scary to let go and have someone help you in that capacity, but I believe that once you get a taste it will be easier to let others help you in the future. Something you frankly need to learn if your wardship is going to end the way you want.” Rosa had almost stopped listening, her hands gripping the arms of the chair with enough force to make her nails hurt.
It could not happen, it could not be allowed to happen! Not under any circumstances, it would be the end of her for certain. Every muscle in her body was tensed, some deep primal instinct telling her to run before it was too late. The wardship was just a mirage, they had never intended for her to have a chance. It was all going to-Fuck, they were going to domesticate her and then- and then- “I- I don’t think that is a good idea. Could we end for today?” She said with a good deal too much haste.
Quercus extended an arm “I am sorry if I upset you, and we can end soon. I would only want to know why you think it is a bad idea.” No, she could not tell them that, that would only end with… maybe they would understand? Rosa squashed the thought, they would never understand.
The affini was still looking at her. Sweat prickled all across her skin as her heart raced. She needed to calm down…and get out of here! “No, I think I am done talking for the day.” Quercus opened his mouth to say something “I said I am done talking!” She snapped before bolting out of the chair. With rapid steps that more approached stumbling, she walked towards the door. “I…I will be waiting for Echina where I slept…have a good day.” And then she was out, hoping for dear life the affini was not going to follow her.
The door to the waiting room closed behind her and Rosa sank down on the ground. What a disaster! Why couldn’t she do anything right? They were going to domesticate her…and…fuck, she needed to breathe. Slowly but surely she put herself together, trying not to think about all the consequences this newest outburst would give her. Being trapped with her own problems had been one thing, but there she was in control. Being trapped by the affini was a whole other game.
Someone knocked on the door “Rosa…could I come in?” It was Myrtaca. Feeling herself freeze up a bit she never answered before the door was opened cautiously “Hi there…heard that the therapy session did not go so well.” A severe understatement…was she there to deliver the bad news?
“If you have something to say, please get it over with.” Why had she not just managed to make one more lie?
Myrtaca let herself in, sitting down next to her. “Quercus is sorry for pressing you too hard.” What? “He expressed the want to apologize to you in person before you leave and fully understands if you want another xenopsychologist helping you from now on.” Rosa stared up at the affini in utter disbelief.
For some reason a vine handed her a few tissues…oh, she had been crying. “So you are not going to do anything to me?” This all felt so lopsided, the blue eyes of the affini betraying more sorrow than Rosa had ever seen Myrtaca express before.
She could see that the vines of the affini were restless, probably wanting to either hug or drug her. “Not at all. We misjudged you, if I had known you were this afraid…I am sorry for the hurt we have inflicted upon you.” How could they have known? It was not like she had ever shown much fear at all, masking it at bravado and cynical anger all the way. Unsure how to answer Rosa continued to be quiet. “Echina told me you wanted to talk to me about Veronica, if there is anything you want to know I will tell you.” The guilty and shameful pit in her stomach grew that much larger.
“It was a lie…I said it so Echina would go to therapy. I am sure you make Veronica very happy.” And that she was much happier without her failing and messing up her life.
“oh…” Myrtaca waited a little bit “Veronica would love to see you again, a lot of sophonts would.” And what was she supposed to do, suddenly show up after she had first pushed everyone away and then ignored them? Not likely, better to rot alone with some dignity.
Seeing as she didn’t answer, they sat there in silence until a pling from Myrtaca’s data pad finally indicated Echina had arrived. Standing up without a word she left first, a silent Myrtaca following right behind her. Outside Echina and Quercus were talking, and as soon as the therapist saw her his mood seemed to shift. There was no mistaking it, how had she gotten so good at identifying affini sadness in such a short time span? She tried to swallow the obvious answer to that question and averted her gaze. “Rosa, I am-”
Rosa turned her back and started to walk away “Let’s take it another time.” The cowardice stung but there was no way she could listen to him apologizing, the pit in her stomach would swallow her up.
Echina was soon next to her, that familiar worried expression on her face. It was obvious the affini wanted to say something and was struggling to find the words.
Today had been such a disaster, a series of mistakes leaving a trail of misery in her wake. What a waste! What she would not give to have the concrete swallow her up. Outside the center, the remnants of the protest were being cleaned up. Luckily there did not appear to have been any clashes. And how long would that last? How long until more suffered because she had to go and stir the pot?! Anger started to sear into her bones, spewing forth from the pit.
Echina finally spoke “I am sorry I left…we do not have to have our conversation tonight. Maybe some comfort food, a feel-good movie, and then early sleep?” Why were they all apologizing to her? They wanted to help, and she kept…kept….making it all, making them all miserable.
A bitter black bile covered her throat and mouth, the guilt so strong it felt difficult to walk. Was self-pity all she was capable of? Feeling sorry for making everything worse? It was pathetic! Selfish! Despicable! She had been right to push them all away, why could the affini not see that?
Walking up the street Rosa spotted by second nature one of the small alleys she had used as shortcuts. In one decisive move, she turned 90 degrees and walked between the narrow walls. Echina followed “Where are you going?” Confusion was thick in her voice.
Rosa answered without stopping “home.” This was the only way, the only right thing to do.
Echina sounded no less perplexed “Did we forget something there? I can go get it tomorrow, you should-“
Rosa spun around, and the affini froze in front of her. “No, I am going home. You are going back to your home.” She pointed down the alley in the direction they had come from. “We are done with this. Please turn around and walk away.” Realization filled the affini’s face and they opened their mouth to answer.
Rosa practically growled “I am done with this! I don’t care about your affini morals, I don’t care about your laws, I don’t give a shit about any of it! There is no way that I am going to keep living like this, listening to you all pity and apologize for me being the miserable creature I am.” The anger spurred her forward, each word more fuel for the fire.
“Rosa, I understand-“ No they did not!
“Don’t you dare say you understand!” Rosa ripped off the headphones and threw them to the ground “None of you understand a single thing about me. How could you possibly understand?!” it made sense now, it all made sense. “You think I am some poor terran that needs to learn to love herself, Fuck that! I am a toxic prideful person who has thrown every piece of kindness back in your face. Do you want to know why I don’t want you to help me? Because I despise how much I want it, how tempting it is to let you fix my mess.” Echina had stopped moving entirely, eyes closed and petrified.
Rosa cut her hand through the air like she was cutting an invisible rope between them in two. “But that won’t happen, I will not let you take on the burden of dealing with me anymore. All you have done since the beginning has been trying to help me, and what have I done in return? I lie, argue, belittle, and frustrate you at every turn. Nothing but a black void pulling you all into my misery.” Was that not the first thing she did when meeting Echina, belittle and condescendingly lecture her? “I don’t want to help you or anyone else because I am a good person, I am far too selfish for that. No, it’s because it makes me feel good. It makes it feel like I am a bit less of a prideful parasitic trainwreck of a person. That is all that I am, why do you think I hate you affini so much?” The words came faster and faster.
“Because you actually care, you actually help people. Like the selfish parasite I am, I despise you for doing the thing I was only pretending to do. None of you see it because you are far too nice, so I am cutting myself off. I don’t deserve any of your or anyone else’s compasi-“
“ THAT. IS. ENOUGH!” Echina’s voice thundered through the alley, the melodic sound transfused by anger. Rosa realized now that the affini had not been standing still at all, she had been holding herself in place. The vines were strained like cables, trembling with pressure. “ Not another word! ”
One of the large vines along Echina’s arms snapped, a horrible sound making her ears ring. “ Do not dare say another word. ” Her voice had lowered as the pressure suddenly gave, Echina surging outward in size beyond anything Rosa had seen from the affini. While still humanoid, she was easily over thrice the original size, towering over her with a face about the length of her entire body. Clawed hands pushed and scraped against the walls of the alley. And then the eyes opened, not just the two but at least a dozen or more.
They burned the most furious red, stars about to implode and annihilate all around them. “I will not allow anyone to speak of MY Rosa like that.” The fury had eclipsed mere emotion, the force of the affini’s biorhythm so strong Rosa was sure it would sunder everything around it. Each of the eyes was razor-focused on her, not a hint of mercy in any of them. “And you will never speak such words again.”
It was at that point any non-primal part of her brain was shoved aside for the simple directive: RUN! But even that instinct knew there was no way to escape. Something pierced into her back, there was no pain, but the force was indescribable. The massive hand that was reaching for her did not make contact before the xenodrugs overwhelmed her into darkness.
Notes:
Rosa might have very well gone too far this time, You do not insult an affini’s "friend" in front of them in that way.
No idea when the next chapter will come out, but hopefully it will not be such a long wait as it was for this one.
As always comments are super nice, seeing reactions to my work is what feeds the writer happy chemicals.
Chapter 11: The end of leniency
Notes:
Rosa has officially fucked around, time for her to find out.
Hope you enjoy reading about said finding out <3
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
-----------------Centhia, North New Bergen, Hab complex Ceria, 27.04.2555, 9:56-------------------
“It’s time to wake up Rosa.” A beautiful voice called her up from sleep. Rosa nuzzled the soft bedding and slowly opened her eyes. She was staring right up at Echina. The affini far closer than expected. How was that…oh, Echina was holding her. In her vines. Very securely. They were at the affini’s hab, in the kitchen to be more precise. Something smelled good, maybe bacon? “Breakfast will be done soon.” Echina’s voice was different, not only was it tart but so wonderfully melodic as well.
Her headphones were gone, had she forgotten to take them on or…oh…oh fuck. Rosa’s mind rewound the final moments before she had fallen asleep. In any logical situation she would have been panicking, but…there was none of that. There was a hint of the feeling, something bubbling under the surface but never allowed to emerge. The fact that her impulsive decision to try going home had failed spectacularly was however very much present in her mind. She looked up at the affini again, now far more aware of how tight the vines holding her entwined around her were. “Are you mad at me?”
Echina did not answer at first, instead giving her a glance that told her that the answer was very much yes. The sizzling of what had been cooking stopped and Echina moved her over to the table. Vines placed her in the chair before promptly tying her to it. Arms and legs securely fastened with several small vines. It was not painful, yet Rosa had no illusion that struggling against the vines, however small, would be fruitless. In front of her a plate of egg, bacon, and toast was placed. The knife and fork missing. “We will talk once you have eaten. I will feed you, tap with your finger when you are ready for another portion.”
Now that was going a bit too far “I-“ The affini interrupted her with a stern look.
“I said that we will talk later. If you want to retain the privilege of choosing the pace you will stay silent and comply.” A classic power move…and in this case an effective one. Had any feelings of anger or indignation come to save her she would probably have argued. Instead, she shivered and tapped with a finger, when a vine lifted a fork of food in front of her mouth she opened it and allowed herself to be fed. Indignation or no, her cheeks burnt with embarrassment. The food was good, so she decided to focus on that so the humiliation could end as soon as possible.
Once the plate was empty a glass of fruit juice was put to her lips and she drank. As soon as the glass was gone she opened her mouth to speak. “Can we ta-“ Echina shot her another glance that communicated that no, it was not time to talk yet. The affini cleaned away the dishes and glass, keeping Rosa in place the entire time. Only when that was done did she sit down on the other side of the table and the vines around Rosa’s arms and legs slid away. “Are you going to domesticate me?” Was there any other question that mattered? And the answer was obvious. Not only from how Echina had reacted to her outburst. She had also essentially tried to escape her caretaker and broken with the wardship system.
Echina’s eyes held a red tint, her mouth forming a stern expression. “I have not decided that yet. The committee and relevant parties have been informed of what you tried to do, what you said.” A few of the vines in the affini’s form flexed sporadically as the red tint grew decidedly more pronounced. “I have also informed them that I will be using a different strategy when it comes to your wardship. It is clear you need a much more vines-on approach.” None of that was good news. The only bright spot was that they had somehow not decided to domesticate her, yet. “Is there something you want to say?”
Rosa attempted to find something to say and came up empty. Echina nodded “Good. Suffice it to say that the gentle approach I have taken so far is over. Now, I have a very important question for you. But first I will ensure your honesty.” A vine that was part of Echina’s hair extended forward, a flower opening up. “ Breathe deeply .” Rosa leaned in and did as instructed before her mind had properly registered the command. The floral scent was fresh and thick, tickling her nose and throat as she breathed it in.
As the flower retreated Rosa felt her mind grow more focused, like the xenodrug had sharpened the direction of her thoughts. There was an urge to speak like she had something important to say…but what? Echina tapped a finger on the table “Focus here.” Oh right… The affini straightened herself, vines relaxing. “What you said in the alleyway yesterday, do you remember it?” Rosa nodded cautiously. “Good. Now, did you mean it? Do you truly believe all the things you said?” There was no way she could say yes to that if she wanted to retain a chance at free-
Her mouth opened and words came out. “Yes, I do.” Rosa flinched, star damned xenodrugs!
Echina’s eyes went glaring red and her vines flexed solid, then she relaxed. Brushing her hair back with her hands the affini looked to take a deep breath. “The first thing I will make clear is that those words you spoke are not true. Neither are they acceptable to speak or think. Understand?” There was no way she could dictate that!
Rosa started to protest “But isn’t all the stuff I have done proof? How can it be wro-” The affini’s reaction made her words die in her throat.
The red eyes returned and Echina rose from the chair “No. You are not allowed to argue like that anymore. Once I have said something you will accept that or if you cannot I will make you. Understand?”
Even without the anger, Rosa shook her head. “I do not accept that. You can’t stop me from making my case, that ju-”
Echina interrupted her once more. “ Silence. ” Rosa went silent. “Good. Seeing as you might struggle with this first rule, I shall help you along.” The eyes of the affini started glowing and that wonderful rhythm Rosa had yearned for started to vibrate through the air. Rosa felt a small prick in her thigh. For each moment that passed the rhythm and light from the eyes pushed more thoughts and sensations aside.
Something lifted her, or maybe the eyes simply came closer. She was not sure and did not care. The rhythm, she had missed for so long and now it was finally back. Embracing her, smoothing out all the pesky thoughts. “ That’s a good girl~ ” Oh, the rhythm could speak. She had to listen. “ There we go, all nice and suggestable~ ” It spoke so sweetly, nice honeyed words that made her mind slow and shiver with delight.
Something dried drool from her chin, helping her to keep her mouth closed. “ My precious little Rosa…From now on, whenever I state something to be true or tell you to believe something, you will instinctively do so. Should you not be able to, should you find it difficult for it to make sense, then you will tell me as soon as possible, omitting no detail.” The words of the rhythm weaved themselves into her thoughts, deeper and deeper. Like threads into a carpet, she savored their texture until they became inseparable from the rest.
The rhythm stopped talking and she was left to float in its comfort. The eyes displayed such love, such care. Somewhere far away something soft caressed her chin and she pushed against it, letting out a satisfied hum. The soft something pulled away and then…
Rosa blinked, her mind spinning in that just-woke-up comfy way. She was lying on the huge couch…What had happened? “ah, you are awake. Here, drink this.” A glass of water was handed to her, and she drank greedily, her mouth dry for some strange reason. “How do you feel?” She looked up at Echina who was sitting next to her on the couch.
She tried to think back to what had happened but like remembering a dream she only found remnants before they too slipped out of her grasp. “I…I fell asleep?”
Echina took the empty glass and handed her a new one “No, I let you come out of the trance slowly by yourself. It was very cute to see.” Trance…oh…fuck…why was she not more upset?
In any similar situation, she would feel strongly in some direction or another…but instead, she was for the most part calm. “How much xenodrugs have you given me?” Rosa asked, not able to dread the question as much as usual. Echina pointed to the glass instead. What a tyrant…she pouted and drank it.
Only once the second glass was empty and taken away did the imperialist answer. “I gave you class-E before you woke up, then class-D to keep you honest, and finally Class-H. I have also decided to increase your xenodrug regimen quite heavily seeing as the low dose did not have the desired result. You will get your new dose now.”
Rosa tried to sit up on the couch, finding her movements to be slightly slow and sloppy “That is not okay. I do not want to be some doped-up floret who needs assistance with everything. Increasing the dose is not going to help me at all.” How was making her accept being a burden going to help her stay independent?
The affini retrieved a large vial of pink liquid from within her chest. “You are wrong, taking your xenodrugs is going to help.” The vial was opened and handed to her, it smelled sweet. Echina was probably right… and the xenodrugs had made her thoughts less painful before she started fighting the effect. If this dose was stronger she might not be able to fight against the effects…but Echina had told her the xenodrugs were going to help.
With that matter settled Rosa took a last glance up at the affini who was staring expectantly back. Then she lifted the vial to her lips and began drinking. It tasted no less sweet than it had smelled, the liquid making her tongue tingle pleasantly. Soon it was all gone, and a warm pleasant feeling rushed through her body before settling over her mind. There were too many changes to identify all at once. Like the last time she had taken it, her senses seemed to sharpen and the buzz of exhaustion in her mind melted away. There was also this sense of…fragility was perhaps not the best word, for the feeling was a nice one. Her skin tingled slightly and the vines of the affini observing her become more tempting…would it be rude to ask? Of course, it would! “Could we cuddle a bit?” What could be the harm?
Echina blinked and then smiled warmly. “Yes, we can dear. I take it you feel good~” There was a golden glow in her eyes. Rosa first tried to get up and go over to the affini herself, but her sluggish and useless sort of silly movements made it very difficult. To her relief vines were soon there to assist her over so she could peacefully collapse in the wonderful bed that was Echina’s lap. It was soooo soft, the cute flowers forming the perfect bedding. She noticed something above her, one of Echina’s hands hesitantly hovering over her. “oh, I… I did not mean to…” Echina said stumblingly, the affini sounding sorry for some reason.
Rosa herself looked up at the hand…Echina had given her some killer pets not long ago. The line from thought A, that Echina gave killer pets — to thought B, that she could quite like some killer pets was rather straightforward. Was she going to act like some seed-brained floret?! Seeing no problems with the action Rosa pushed her head into the still hovering hand.
There was a moment of hesitation before the hand started to give her those killer pets and scritches. “Did I give you too high a dose petal? We can tune it down a bit if you want.” She needed to take this opportunity. Why would she want that? Echina had told her the xenodrugs would help .
Rose hummed contently “No, it’s okay. Could you scratch me on the shoulder…further down, and a bit to the rig-” Echina hit the spot and Rosa curved her back into the hand. It felt so good! How had she lived without these killer scritches before? “Thank you for the pets, is there anything I can do in return?” There had to be something, it would be unbelievably selfish to enjoy this without offering anything of her own.
The scratches became slightly more intense, eliciting more satisfied sounds from the back of her throat. It was so good that she hardly realized that Echina took several long seconds to answer. She sounded cautious…yet excited. “You could let me take care of you, in every way…Let me spoil you like you truly deserve.” There was a yearning tone to the request.
Rosa giggled, what a silly request. “That doesn’t sound very fair. I meant more like make you dinner or…clean the hab or something like that.” She knew the affini did not have markets, but this seemed a bit ridiculous. “I got to deserve it, you know.” If she was honest her examples were not the best either, Echina did not eat as far as she knew and the hab looked very clean. There had to be something she could do…
Echina paused again, this time also stopping the pets. Shoot, had she been rude? “You deserve it already, there is nothing you need to do.” She said, earnest with every melodic word.
She deserved it? .... “That doesn’t make sense…are you sure there is nothing I could do?” Her mind wanted what Echina had said to make sense. Desperately so. Yet the logic of everything else stood in fierce opposition to the idea that she ‘deserved it already’ and especially that there was nothing she needed to do. If she did not need to do anything then…why did she exist at all?
The pets resumed, relieving Rosa of the burden of thinking too much about it. “I know petal, but trust me, you deserve it. For today…and maybe tomorrow, you let me handle everything. Okay?” That still did not seem fair… but Echina had said she deserved it and she probably... maybe… knew best.
Rosa nodded and leaned into the pets, enjoying how each scratch from the hard plant fiber sent a spark of pleasant sensation down her spine. “Okay, if you say so. What are we planning to do then? Are there any appointments I have to go to?” She hoped not, none of the last appointments had gone particularly well. Because she would not stop fucking everything up! A pleasant sort of fog descended on her mind for only a moment…what had she been thinking about? It was probably nothing.
Her caretaker said something about no appointments and that was about when Rosa decided to take a nap. The xenodrugs were helping, but her body was still plenty tired from pushing herself too hard and being all depressed.
--------------------Centhia, North New Bergen, Hab complex Ceria, 27.04.2555, 12:38--------------
Echina had been sitting in the same position for several hours, not daring to move a single vine out of place. Rosa…was sleeping in her lap! Stars! Her core was vibrating so loudly with joy she had at points been afraid it would wake the sweet girl. The soft breaths, the adorable mumbles, the cute way she would twist into one vine only to twist back right away. It was…stars it was so magnificent~
There was a lot on her mind, not all of it pleasant, but how could she be sad when Rosa was sleeping on her lap! The most pressing of conflicting thoughts was whether to take a picture or not. On one side, yes. She needed a picture of this so she could remember it for all of time. On the other side…Rosa would not be pleased if she found out. And even if she never did…would it be right to do so without her permission? Would it make her ward upset? This current dilemma had plagued her core for about two hours at this point and she was still no closer to coming to a decision.
Edging closer to temptation Echina opened her data pad if only to chat a bit…and maybe take a picture. Before she could be drawn even further towards immortalizing the adorable girl on her lap, she noticed a message had appeared in her inbox from Myrtaca.
[TerranCuddler]: Good morning, or at least I hope it was. Is Rosa doing okay? I have been twisting my vines ever since you told me what happened yesterday. Poor thing.
[BarkBeaten_Bookkeeper]: Rosa is doing good at the moment. She has been sleeping for most of the morning after breakfast. Though I think I might have boosted her xenodrug regimen too much.
[Terrancuddler]: What makes you say that? Have there been any negative reactions?
She could practically feel the subdued anxiety from the other side of the overnet.
[BarkBeaten_Bookkeeper]: No negative reactions, she is doing fine medically speaking. Just some unusual behavior that she might not react too well to later. Behavior she might find embarrassing to be specific, and you know Rosa is a prideful sophont.
[Terrancuddler]: oooooo, what happened? Tell me. Now.
[BarkBeaten_Bookkeeper]: She may have asked to cuddle
[Terrancuddler]: Oh my! I told you all she needed was some encouragement to come out of her skin. Can I see?
Echina was pretty sure the correct expression was ‘coming out of one’s shell’, though at the same time terrans did not have shells like horses and similar creatures. With the request it was far too hard to resist. She snapped a quick photo of Rosa, staring at it for at least a minute before sending it over to Myrtaca.
[Terrancuddler]: Oh my! She is so CUTE! Look at her, and those little hands grasping around your vines!!! Adorable!!
[BarkBeaten_Bookkeeper]: She has been sleeping in my lap for the last couple of hours. I might also have managed to convince her to let me take care of her for the day. Fully take care of her, if you understand.
[Terrancuddler]: And to think you told me that you were not the right affini for her. How incredibly silly. I hope you two have an excellent day, that new dose is working wonders. She is so adorable…can I show Veronica?
[BarkBeaten_Bookkeeper]: Best not, at least not yet anyway. Also, I am thinking of reducing the dose for tomorrow and letting her reflect on the experience. I am worried there might be a backlash after this
[Terrancuddler]: In all seriousness I do not think you have anything to fear. Rosa needs this, yesterday proved that. Prioritize her happiness over her pride and enjoy the ride.
[BarkBeaten_Bookkeeper]: Thank you, I will. See you soon for her next session. Hopefully, that one will go a bit better.
Echina placed away the datapad and continued petting he- Rosa. She was petting Rosa. Was she pushing too far? Was she using Rosa’s outburst yesterday to act on her own yearnings? It was hard to argue that the sleeping terran in her lap was not happier than the terrified and self-loathing one in the alley yesterday but…
One day. And that would be it. Rosa could get some perspective on being taken care of and she could let out the feelings while not suppressing Rosa’s wishes for independence…win-win?
There was a soft yawn as Rosa woke up, stretching adorably before opening her eyes. “Your lap,” Another yawn interrupted her. “Is very comfortable.” Then she tilted her head and smiled. Stars, how could anything be this cute?!
Using every shred of concentration and restraint, Echina maintained her composure. “I am glad to hear that, did you enjoy your nap?” Rosa had called her lap comfortable!
Rosa nodded and leaned against her side while getting up “Yeah, it's nice to have you close. What do we do now?”
Echina pondered the question, and while she did so almost instinctively began to pet Rosa once again. She was about to pull her hand away and apologize but Rosa was already leaning into it, eyes closed and smiling. Get yourself together.
Rosa deserved a nice afternoon, and she needed some physical activity as well. Some walkies- A walk would be a good idea. “Let us go for a walk, we can stop by a cafe on the way back.” The proposal was received with an idle nod while continuing to nuzzle her hand. Maybe they could stay here a bit longer….No, if she did not move now they would both be sleeping on the couch before she pulled herself away.
She placed Rosa down on the floor and the terran tried to walk a bit herself, almost stumbling into the coffee table. “Whoa…I move really strangely. Can you make sure I don’t fall?” There was a hint of embarrassment in her tone but the fact that Rosa was asking for help was a vast improvement.
Echina followed Rosa to the clothing rack, having from the beginning made sure to keep a vine ready should she fall. “Of course I will, you are safe with me.” While covertly enjoying the blush on Rosa’s face she checked her datapad…it was getting cold. “Rosa, you need something more than your jacket today. I will not have you freeze while under my care.”
Rosa, who had already taken on her admittedly adorable jacket, looked up at her perplexed. She opened her mouth to say something, closed it and giggled. “I won't break my promise. Go ahead, pick one out. I’m not all that picky.” She wanted her to…pick out clothes for her?!!
Several of her flowers along her form bloomed involuntarily, a bit of xenodrugs dripping out of their needles. Get yourself together. But she could choose a jacket for her! Calm down…let's pick out something neutral that Rosa will not hate me for later. With as measured excitement as she managed, Echina began looking through the selection on the compiler.
The selection was very good…and mostly for florets. Her eyes were immediately drawn towards at least five different ones that made her vines wiggle as she imagined Rosa in them. Something neutral…something neutral. What did terrans consider to be neutral? The obvious answer to this riddle was to find some designs from before the domestication of Centhia, the local style. But Rosa was hardly typical and then there was the gender aspect, if she gave something that gave Rosa dysphoria- it could not be allowed to happen. Well done, the first real hurdle in taking care of her and you are already lost in space without a vessel. Why not just ask her what she likes? “Is there anything you prefer?”
Rosa was leaning against the wall and shook her head slightly before answering. “Red…purple? I don’t know, though I bet you want to give me one of those floral things.” The terran giggled again, giving Echina eyes that made her very glad she did not blush like the terrans did.
You are going to regret this. “Would that be fine?” This was such a bad idea…
“Sure why not? They do look very comfortable.” Rosa answered, shrugging her shoulders. “But don’t you dare try to give me a collar.” Her tone was more playful than anything and while Echina conjured the image for a second she banished it shamefully. Was she doing this? Rosa was going to kill her once the dose was lowered…
Picking out the outfit she watched with tensed vines as it complied. Echina took it out and showed it to Rosa. “Here you go.” Letting the terran inspect it. “If you don’t like it we can find another.” She quickly added.
The coat was white, long, and flowing. Almost dress-like though a good deal thicker. The outside was slightly fluffy and had a reddish floral design, with a few cute animals playing amongst the vines. Several buttons shaped like balls of yarn connected the two sides, and a small bell hung from each of the very fluffy sleeves.
Rosa inspected the outfit carefully, tilting her head to one side. “Not my usual outfit but it does look warm.” Oh, stars… Echina handed the outfit over and averted her gaze, suddenly realizing the gravity of her mistake. She was doing a poor job of controlling herself, that was abundantly clear but with that outfit on…Stars this could not end well.
There were a few jingles from the bells, then a few more. “Echina…could you help me with these buttons? They are very hard to put on for some reason.” Of course they were, she knew why they were. It was for this exact purpose. Void! Rosa was going to make her into mulch.
Turning around Echina focused intently on the buttons, using her tiny vines to solve the manufactured difficulty. “So, how do I look?” Rosa asked, twirling the coat back and forth with her hands at her side.
“Stars…you are adorable.” The terran language felt suddenly particularly unsuited for the situation. Affini language had several hundred words to describe what terrans mostly boiled down to ‘cute’, ‘adorable’, and a few others. There were at least a dozen or so of these affini words at the forefront of her mind. How had she ever let such a cute xeno go? How had she ever let such a precious thing be alone…and hurt. The yearning feeling in her core doubled, collapsing upon remembering her failure and then doubled again.
She is not yours, she does not want to be yours. Rosa smiled “Thank you~ Should we go or are you just going to keep staring at me?” Rotandfrostandvoidwhy?!
Her mind did not seem to be working properly. “Ummm, yes…I mean, yes. Let us go.” Fearing being rooted in place if she stood still a single moment longer, Echina walked out the door and towards the elevator. Was Rosa flirting with her? The tone indicated that but…no, there was no way that was possible….or?
During the ride down Rosa still seemed to be trying to find her balance, then she looked up. “Could you hold my hand while we walk? Like we did a few days ago? The xenodrugs are helping but my balance is a bit…funky.” She presented an open hand, the bell jingling with the movement.
Echina grabbed the hand with a vine, trying to remind herself that the important part was that Rosa was asking for help…Not that she had asked her to hold her hand. Out on the street her terran appeared to know where to go, and Echina let her take charge. As her data pad had informed her, a constant cold gust was blowing down the street, the clouds over them heavy. There were not that many sophonts out in the street, mostly affini that were less bothered by the cold.
“Okay, I will admit this coat is much more comfortable than the jacket.” Rosa chirped. So cute~! One of the affini passing by smiled at her, a smile that Echina had seen and given plenty of times before. The ‘awww~ you have a very cute floret’ smile…It was hard to argue that it was not what it looked like. Luckily Rosa did not seem to notice, caught up in her thoughts as the terran was prone to do.
As they walked she remembered last evening, the self-loathing rant and her reaction. She had never felt that way, the anger and desire to subdue anything that could have in any way made Rosa say such terrible things. There was no way to deny that she considered the terran her floret. Even if it was something she neither wanted nor should be doing. Part of her still wanted to do what had been so tempting in the alley, to delve deep into Rosa’s mind and rip out all the painful parts. She had promised Rosa…she had promised herself. And what did that promise matter if Rosa was not happy? What could possibly matter if Rosa was hurting?
She had hoped the wardship would have allowed her to let Rosa open up, get some help…and that would be that. That they could stay friends like Rosa wanted. Yet the pain was rooted deeper than she had known. How could she not have seen it? There had to be a solution, she and Rosa would have to have a long talk tomorrow once the higher dose was tuned a good deal down. A nd then they would find the perfect solution? Or maybe after one day of being taken care of Rosa would want to be her floret? Would that not be perfect? The sarcasm of her internal monologue was getting painfully toxic…Maybe best to leave it for tomorrow and focus on today.
Rosa pulled on her vine “Could I get some ice cream?” and pointed to a nearby café. The enthusiasm in her fl-…in Rosa’s eyes was core-meltingly adorable.
Echina resisted ruffling her hair and nodded. “That sounds delightful, have you visited here before? You lit up as soon as you spotted the place.” Even deep in thought she had been keeping an eye on her, if only to make sure she did not fall…and to adore how cute she was.
The inside of the ice cream café was warm and cozy, with gentle lights, and plenty of pillows. “Yeah, I was here during my walk back whe-“
“Rosa!!!!” The overjoyed squeal came from behind the counter where a terran floret waiter had suddenly appeared. She rushed over to Rosa and gave her a big, long hug. Echina tensed up, knowing how little Rosa liked those sorts of things.
But Rosa reciprocated the hug without any problems. “Hi Lulu, good to see you again.”
Lulu took a step back and squinted her eyes. “Almost didn’t recognize you in that, and you look so much better. Not that you looked bad before mind you, adorable either way, but you aren’t pouting anymore, not that that wasn’t cute either. and- Oh! I should get you and your…” The chaotic floret looked up at her “Friend~ a table. Very cute coat by the way, I love the design!” At the same rapid pace as her speech, Lulu was suddenly moving towards a table in the inner parts of the café.
Rosa found a nice spot nestled between plushies and pillows as Echina sat down in an affini-sized chair. Two menus were placed in front of them as Lulu once again began speaking in her bubbly and chaotic manner. “Mistress and my connivent are in the back making more ice cream but I am sure she will want to meet you later Rosa. She was worried that you left looking so down.” The mood of the floret dropped for a moment as she spoke of the last visit. And then the smile was back on “But enough of that. What ice cream will you two be getting? I know you don’t like our xenodrug variety so-”
Her ward shook her head, inadvertently making a few of the bells on her outfit jingle. “Echina told me that xenodrugs help me so I would love to have some of that…firefly mix?” Oh, dear.
Echina was about to intervene before the second loudest squeal she had heard in her life interrupted any such attempt. “You want? O my stars! YES! Wait, let me get one for myself as well and we can cuddle, and talk philosophy and gore ourselves on ice cream and…” Lulu took a deep breath. “This is going to be so much fun!” And then she ran off towards the counter.
Rosa shouted after “Get some ice cream for Echina as well!” Her ward turned to her, an excited glow in her eyes. “I have actually never been on class-A before, is there anything I should know?” Oh stars, oh stars, oh stars, oh sta- “Echina? Are you okay?”
The two sides of herself that had been skirmishing were not in a full-on war. There was no way this was not going to end poorly, and Rosa would never have done this if not for the copious dose of xenodrugs she was on. Was that not the point of the xenodrugs? To let her bond and not be dominated by self-loathing. Was she going to deny Rosa this happy and absolutely adorable moment because she would not do it the day before? When she had been in a state so painful that Echina wilted thinking about it? Was she not arguing for the very thing Rosa had been the most terrified of? And what if that was the case? What if Rosa did need domestication to be happy? Was she going to deny it because of some ideological and philosophical principle? But what about her agency? Oh, the thing that was making her suffer? What kind of thinking was that but that of some ‘plant imperialist’ like Rosa criticized the affini for being? What was the point of anything if Rosa was not ha-
Something curled up on her lap and dragged her shivering arm into their embrace. “Do affini have something like class-E?” Rosa stared up at her with big pupil dilated eyes, obvious concern shining through them. Echina was stuck, the tension in her body threatening to snap another vine. “Its okay, I’m here for you. Always.” Her ward began to nuzzle into her chest while squeezing the vine she was using as a plushie. The tension melted and her vines relaxed, none of her many anxieties standing a chance against Rosa.
She was just so cute and precious~ And you froze up on her again, making her take care of YOU. That was true…but Rosa was not doing bad at the moment. Denying help at this moment would have been unfair, treating her as unequal. Because treating her like your emotional support floret was very equal indeed. She began to pet her ward, letting the cute sophont drain more and more of her negative emotions away with her mere presence.
Echina realized she had still to respond in any verbal fashion, but that Rosa did not need her to. While her flowers rebloomed she scooped away the wilted petals and hid them away. Continuing to let Rosa heal her core pet by pet.
A little while later Lulu returned, her excitement in no way lessened. “Here you go, and here you go.” She placed one affini size ice cream in front of her, and a much smaller right in front of it for Rosa. “And one for me.” The last glass of red, yellow ice cream Lulu held in her hands as she placed down the server’s plate. “You two look reaaally comfy…could I join?” she asked with a begging expression.
“Could she?” Rosa asked, looking up with much the same expression. One side won the war. Echina picked up the floret with her vines and placed her next to Rosa, letting the two terrans cuddle in her lap. Her ward stretched a bit for the ice cream, soon realizing that to get to it she would have to get out of the current cuddle position. “Ummm…Echina? Could you…you know…” Her cheeks had turned scarlet red. “Feed me or something like that?” The question was quickly muffled as Rosa hid her face in some vines.
Lulu giggled at her cuddle buddy’s embarrassment before adding. “Me too, me too! Could you feed us both Miss Echina?” What a pair of absolute cuties~
Using a vine she pried Rosa’s face out of the vines. “I cannot feed you if you are hiding petal. Now open up.” The blush on her ward's face only intensified, but she kept still and opened her mouth. In perfect unison she fed the two terrans a spoonful of ice cream. And in perfect unison they made the cute food-enjoyment sounds that terrans often made and shivered. How adorable~!
Rosa blinked, the pupils in her eyes had dilated a bit further. “That tastes….fuck…wow.” Her most eloquent description of the dessert was interrupted when Echina began petting her again. After letting out a weak moan Rosa melted into the hand, shivering with eyes closed and mouth slightly open.
“Awwww, it really is your first time on class-A isn’t it? Just wait until we reach the mango type.” Lulu said while wiggling closer into Rosa, an action that was very much reciprocated. “More, more!” The floret demanded, and who was she to deny the cuties that?
With each spoon of ice cream, the terrans moaned a bit more and wiggled further into each other and her vines. Echina gave up trying to restrain herself and petted them both senseless. Doubtlessly foiling any pre-planned discussion about philosophy. Neither of them complained.
During a particularly strong wiggle, the terrans turned to look at each other. “Fuck…how are you so…cute?!” Lulu managed to ask between pants and minor whimpers. It was a question Echina could very much get behind.
Rosa started to blush again, her smile slightly confused before parting for another moan. “You…think I am cute?” That however was a question Echina could not understand in the slightest. Rosa was beyond cute, something so obvious that every being who had ever seen her should have felt compelled to say it.
Lulu rolled her eyes performatively. “Uh duuuh, yes you are silly~ Cute as a dozen kittens~” She bit her lip. “Could I….could I kiss you?” There was suddenly a moment of tension in the air. Echina stopped petting, waiting for the answer she knew was about to come. Maybe it was best to get Lulu’s owner to care for her after the disappointment.
The moment stretched on, Rosa transfixed like a floret on class-M. “Yes…” A vibrant smile spread on her face. “Very much yes!” Her ward reached out, grabbed Lulu by the cheeks and kissed her. It was not a short kiss, and after Lulu got over the surprise Echina still felt pushed back.
The kiss devolved into many smaller smooches and kisses. The terrans giggling while embracing. “Oh, I have something funny to tell you.” Rosa said while smiling in a way Echina had never seen before, a smile that was undoing the many knotted vines in her core. “You were right! Echina does love me, how did you know?”Echina’s mind came to a screeching halt.
Lulu gasped, pointing to Echina. “She told you?! Are you going to become her floret?!” The floret's excitement was beyond approach.
Another giggle erupted from Rosa as she smooched Lulu again. “No silly, she made a promise to not do that.” The other terran did not get a response before the continued kissing made her forget the entire thing.
Echina had not taken her eyes off Rosa for a second the last hour or so. There had been a feeling that something was different about her ward and now it fell into place. She was smiling, uninterrupted and carefree. A smile she deserved more than anything…and one Echina had not seen before now. She had made a promise. One it was feeling more and more likely that she would have to break.
Tomorrow’s conversation was going to be difficult indeed.
Notes:
Next chapter is going to be a rough one, because something will have to give
Chapter 12: A difficult conversation
Notes:
quite the sad chapter in the beginning
This conversation has been a long time coming, hope you all enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
-----------------Centhia, North New Bergen, Hab complex Ceria, 28.04.2555, 10:33-------------------
Echina took great care while waking Rosa, making sure her ward had plenty of time to pleasantly wake. Petting the terran as she sleepily nuzzled her vines warded away the concern in her core. Soon she and Rosa would have to talk, and she was certain it would not be a pleasant one. Not yet, not yet… delaying was always an excellent tactic.
Bringing Rosa to the dinner room while still in her vines she fed the adorable little thing a breakfast of fruit and oats. Coaxing out more cute sounds with each portion she fed the obedient girl. She truly was such a delight~ And you are going to ruin all of that very soon.
“Yesterday was so nice!” Rosa chirped in-between portions. “What are we going to do today?” An endearing excitement in her voice.
You cannot tell her, not yet. “Let us talk about that later.” Echina fed Rosa the last part of the meal. “You should go shower, can you do that on your own? I need to prepare something.” Prepare to ruin all that happiness in your eyes.
Bouncing on the floor with curiosity after being let down Rosa eventually nodded. “I can. I think I am getting more hang of movement while being on xenodrugs. It is honestly quite fun.” She giggled and walked off towards the shower. “Can you get me some new clothes? I’ll let you pick.” Sweet thing…
Echina nodded and walked to the compiler. A fresh set of regular clothes and a counteragent dose were made. She placed the clothes in front of the bathroom and the counteragent on the coffee table. Sitting down on the sofa, she waited. Rosa was going to be mad at her, and maybe worse than at the end.
You do not have to do it, you could enjoy another day with her like this. Or maybe a week…or maybe forever. No affini would ever judge or think it strange in the slightest. She would be happy, she would still be herself. All you have to do is take away the pain and let her be free.
And it would undermine their entire relationship. She could not do that. The talk would have to happen. Better now than later.
The wait was unbearable, her vines curling and uncurling in stressful rhythms. A hundred different scenarios ran through her mind. How Rosa would react, where the conversation would go, and the pain to follow.
A small swoosh interrupted her thoughts as the door to the bathroom opened and Rosa entered the living room. Her hair was still wet, an eager smile on her face, eyes so soft and happy. You monster.
The smile faltered slightly. “Is everything okay? You look…” Echina was glad Rosa did not finish the sentence. She handed the terran the vial of counteragent, her vocal grafts refusing to work. Rosa stared at the vial for a long time. “Do you want me to drink this?” Echina nodded, sensing the hesitation in her ward's voice.
“Will this make me…normal again? Like I was before.” She asked, the hesitation having merged with fear. Monster. Rosa looked up at her. “Would you like me if I stayed like this?” The question was asked in such a gentle voice. It tore at her core, searing it like molten steel. Monster, Monster!
Echina could feel herself wilting. “It is best if you drink it dear. And then we will talk.” Her voice was weak, trembling with a biorhythm in discord. Her ward hesitated for a few more moments before drinking the vial.
Echina could practically see the counteragent work itself through Rosa’s body. Her shoulders raised, muscles tensed, and hands clenched. The carefree and soft eyes hardened as Rosa stared into the air in front of her.
There was no immediate reaction, not a flare of anger as she had partly suspected. Echina could see how her ward was processing it, and how utterly spent she was. When Rosa spoke after fifteen long second her voice was hollow and resigned. “So that is what I get for stepping out of line, I see.” The pain in her voice was palpable, bleeding into Echina’s core like poison.
You knew this was going to happen, and yet you could not resist. Useless bag of mulch.
Rosa climbed up onto the sofa and closed her eyes. “Give me a moment.” The words tense. Echina gave her the time she needed, cold frost growing in her core.
Then Rosa opened her eyes. “Okay, let us talk.”
-----------------Centhia, North New Bergen, Hab complex Ceria, 28.04.2555, 11:47-------------------
The memories were confusing, strange, and slightly fuzzy. Yet they painted a clear picture of yesterday’s events. What Echina had done was so painfully understandable and so outrageously affini. The affini was conflicted about what she had done, the bed of wilted flowers covering the floor made that abundantly clear. What was even more obvious was the pain she was inflicting on Echina, and that she was doubtlessly going to hurt the affini even more in the very immediate future.
There was a way out, a way to not be a selfish bastard and let Echina be happy. She could submit, let the affini drug her up and become her floret. A part of her even wanted it. Yet that was not going to happen. She was far too much of a prideful bitch to let that happen. No, she was going to kick and claw at Echina until the affini was forced to do it anyway. Making misery up till the very moment she was put down and pacified.
Echina’s voice was heart-wrenchingly unstable. “Before we start I need you to know that we will not be reuniting to the state of affairs we had before yesterday. What I told you in the alley and yesterday morning still holds true. I will not allow you to say anything like that again. And I will work to make sure you do not think like that as well.” Through the discord, there was an underlying certainty and a painful conclusion. “Now, how are you feeling?” What a perfect starting question.
Rosa’s emotions and answers flowed fast and without much filter. “I am tired of struggling, I am tired of all of this. I feel like I am going to hurt you. That I am hurting you more with every moment.” The class-D was still in effect it would seem.
The affini did not have an immediate answer to that. So Rosa continued. “Yesterday was…nice.” The class-D made it impossible to deny, a strange and bitter realization. “Why only one day? Why not keep me drugged up like that for a week or longer?”
This is not a good strategy. She saw you happy yesterday, and how miserable you are without the xenodrugs. Maybe she wanted Echina to come to the conclusion for her. Because she herself was too pathetic to make the move herself and spare her friend the pain.
“I value your agency.” Echina answered plainly, brushing aside a few wilted petals from the couch.
“Why? My agency has resulted in nothing but pain and misery for me and others.” Echina had to see what she was trying to do.
“You know that is not true. With a bit of help I am sure you can-” Bullshit! There was no way Echina believed that!
“Don’t fuck with me. A bit of help? Be honest, if you were to make the recommendation to the domestication committee right now. What would you say?” Why was she not taking the offering? Because she cares about you, and you are hurting her for that with your prideful cowardice.
Echina’s eyes turned a shade of dark blue. “I would say that I need more time before making a recommendation.” The affini was trying to keep herself calm.
Rosa could feel the anger rise. “Don’t dodge the question. We both know what you would- what you should say. Was that not the point of the xenodrugs yesterday? To prove that the miserable pile of-” Echina’s eyes suddenly flared red. She adjusted herself. “That the miserable thing that is me can be happy as a floret. What more evidence do you need?”
“That you want it.” The answer was so remarkably simple and sad at the same time.
Rosa threw her arms up in frustration. “Fuck what I want. What do you want? I am hurting you, and don’t you dare deny it. Yesterday I could see how the conflict inside you about what to do with me is tearing you up. Can you for once be selfish and say what you want?” She was on the verge of crying now. So endlessly spent and tired of everything.
Echina sank together. “I want you to be happy.” The delivery made it clear it was not a lie, it was not a half-truth, or even a simplification. The stupid affini wanted her to be happy above all else. “That is why I care about your agency. Your happiness on your terms.”
The tattered remnants of her heart spilled out. “Why do you think I know how to be happy? I don’t know how to want to be happy, let alone the terms of how to achieve it. I have no idea, no idea at all.” The dark blue eyes she was staring into grew foggy through the tears building in her own eye. “I have never known. For fleeting moments sure…but a happy life? A content life? I am clueless.”
A vine stretched out and pushed her into a loose embrace. In one which the eye contact remained unbroken. “Oh Rosa…” The beautiful affini voice was filled with discord.
Rosa dried away some tears only for them to be replaced the next second. “I live so I can help make the world a little better before…” Her words choked into a sob.
“Whenever I dream about what I want my life to be, happiness is never part of it. Maybe I help, do something good and then…die or break doing that. That I end up in that staircase knowing I at least made someone’s life better.” Vines grasped around her tightly, the pain streaming from the affini in wave after wave of wilted petals. “But I can’t even do that. All I can do is make you and everyone else hurt.”
The eyes of the affini had turned pitch black, dark voids of despair. “I wish I knew what to do.” The conflicted feelings were plain to see. Part of the affini wanted to make her happy no matter what, like any affini. The other held back, not wanting to damage the thing she had grown so attached to.
“There is a reason why seeing you hurt pains me so much.” Echina spoke so softly. “I do not know why, or how. But somewhere along the way, I got attached to you as if you were my floret. It is not right, it should not affect my judgment…but that is why I hurt so intensely when I see you in any sort of pain. I wish I could stop, think of you like a friend instead…yet I cannot.”
A firmer tone entered her voice. “Do not doubt for a moment that you have not made me happier than I have ever been. That happiness is a gift I will always carry with me, no matter how all of this will end. I love you.”
Silence followed, a long-protracted silence as they comforted each other. Rosa was feeling a lot of emotions, and yet surprise was surprisingly not one of them. It made sense. “I love you too,.” Rosa said while squeezing one of the many vines holding her, pressing it close to her chest. The situation was not sustainable, the last few days had proved as much. Something had to be done.
The first step in finding a solution was understanding the cause. After several long breaths, Rosa straightened herself in the affini’s embrace. “I think I know the problem.” Echina was collecting herself as well, nodding for her to continue. “You and the affini want me to be happy, correct?”
“More than anything, yes.” Echina answered without blinking.
A conclusion was slowly forming in her mind. She just needed to assemble all the pieces first. “I don’t really care about it. It's nice and all but I have sort of given up on happiness being a mainstay of my life, being important. So I will continue to be uncooperative, and you will continue to push me towards it.” The problem was now clear. “Our interests do not align and because of that struggle between us will be inevitable.” Good old Marx, coming to the rescue.
Echina stretched out a few vines, warping them around her afterward. “So what is the solution? Make our interests align?” That was the obvious answer…Yet was that not what had happened yesterday? Did the xenodrugs not enforce the affini’s interests upon her? Was that not the entire problem with them?
The affini wanted to make her happy. She wanted to ensure she was not hurting Echina for a moment longer. Neither party would compromise and if neither side wanted to enforce their interests upon the other…then there would have to be a synthesis…oh.
Wait…that could not be it. Seriously? Was she…it made sense, and yet…
The affini had been silent, allowing her to think. “Rosa, I can see you thought up something. Mind sharing?” It was a horrible idea…
And the best she had. “We both have to get what we want. You can teach me to be happy. In return, I will make sure you are not suffering, and hopefully make you happy as well. That is the only way this is going to work out.” Rosa answered nervously, feeling the implications of the solution creep up on her as she was speaking.
The vine mesh on Echina’s face furrowed into a puzzled frown. “And how will you make me happy?”
Stars, this was a bad idea. “Treating me like you think of me I suppose…” A blush was forming on her face. “You know how I calm you down…and all that? More of that.” The stuttering made the poor explanation even worse.
That did not stop Echina from catching on. “And I will teach you to be happy in much the same way, correct?” Rosa’s face was burning now. She meekly nodded.
There was something surprisingly calm about the affini. “Then I have two questions. Are we still equals?”
She was not submitting fully and yet…she was giving Echina the reins. Swallowing, Rosa answered. “No. You will be in charge. In all things.”
Echina placed her a little away and nodded. “And you are okay with that?” With the extra distance and end of the embrace, the eye contact felt even more intense. This was the moment to backpedal if she was ever going to get one. Yet backpedaling into a dead end hardly seemed like a good solution.
However, one more moment to consider her options could not hurt. The first option was that she somehow convinced Echina to let her go the ward period without a heavy xenodrug regimen. In which case you will fuck it up again and cause her more pain in the process, no doubt ending in forceful domestication. All in all not very good.
The other was that she went back to how she had been the proceeding 24 hours. Then you have even less choice about what happens, will leave Echina conflicted and pained the entire time because she has to step over your boundaries for your own good. And on top of it all show the domestication committee how happy you are as a helpless floret, so again, forceful domestication. Yep , this new terrible idea was somehow the best out of all of them.
It was time to commit. “I am. On the condition that your primary…use of me will be to make yourself happy. If I am not doing it for you I can’t justify this to myself, and we will end up right back where we started.” Stars what was she saying? Use? Use?!!
Echina nodded again and stood up. “Wait here.” The affini disappeared into her room and came back a moment later. The affini typed something on the data pad. “You won't be needing those anymore.” On command and with a unified click the shackles fell off her wrists. Rosa was confused for a moment before she saw what was hanging from Echina’s outstretched finger.
A collar.
Reddish-pink like the affini’s own main set of flowers, the design was endlessly intricate. Solid like velvet though decorated with a thousand swirling shapes that her eyes were getting lost in already. Just like Echina’s eyes. A single metal loop hang from the front, a large circular bell attached to it. “If you want this, put it on.” Echina’s words were firm…and hungry.
Rosa could feel her body fill with a warm, excited glow. “Just to be clear. I am not becoming your floret…And this is only something we are trying out during the wardship. And! And I don’t want you to have me drugged out the entire time either. I need to learn to be happy myself. ” Echina nodded, the eyes smoldering gems showcasing predatory intent and eternal confidence.
“As I said. If you want this, put it on.” WhatwasshedoingWhatwasshethinking!!!
Her hands reached up and took hold of the collar, it was heavier than it first appeared. The touch was nothing short of divine, endlessly soft, and pleasant in her fingers. She wanted to know how it would feel around her neck…and she was about to find out. A vine lifted her hair, and with shaking fingers Rosa placed the collar around her own neck. Some invisible locking mechanism went into effect the moment the two loose ends came into contact.
Click
It was on, and she could feel it perfectly fit around her neck. Comfortable, yet there. Rosa swallowed, feeling the slight resistance from the collar, and looked up. Echina’s eyes, eight of them in total, were burning with a strong purple color. Her form had gotten larger, five meters at the very least. The flowers were in full bloom, vines stretching towards Rosa like they had a mind of their own. A few of them, the ones with needles at their core, were dripping with xenodrugs. “How I have yearned to see you like this~ ” A hand reached out and cupped the entire side of her face. “ I am honored by your trust, and I promise I will take very good care of you. My precious petal~ ” The words of the affini thrummed with power. A power every cell in Rosa’s body wanted to give into. “ Now, I believe you wanted me to use you for something~” A hungry smile spread across Echina’s face as it slightly split open to reveal far too many needle teeth.
Rosa let out a weak whimper.
Notes:
Rosa found the solution, and Echina is very happy to comply
As usual remember to keep hydrated, fed, rested and medicated...and give me those happy writing chemicals with your comments :3
Chapter 13: Good Girls Deserve Clicks
Notes:
My vacation is over, so time to get back to writing. Hope you enjoy this one.
And as always remember to drink, eat, take your meds and sleep.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
-----------------Centhia, North New Bergen, Hab complex Ceria, 28.04.2555, 13:33--------------
Was this seriously the best solution she had come up with? To let Echina treat her like…there were no other ways to put it: treat her like a floret. She knew that this was the first step into the grave. That very few wardships that were serious enough to get to this stage ever ended in anything but domestication. Frankly, one could view it more as a transition period between independence and being owned. Why in the name of all that was good had she suggested this as the solution?
It took her mind one second to find the several instances of Echina being surrounded by her own wilted petals. Two for her mind to remind her that all of that was her fault. And after the third second Rosa could feel the self-loathing thoughts bubble up to the surface. You caused the problem, now you have to fix it. It’s not very complicated, so stop sulking.
So maybe this was the best solution after all. While it stung her pride the objective facts did paint her case as hopeless either way. She was lucky she had been allowed to put on the collar herself, and that there was a chance it was temporary. Unless you give in that is. Or are you going to deny that yesterday was not the best day you have had in months? She did want to deny it…yet the stubborn class-Ds in her system made that frustratingly difficult.
Echina’s hand brushed through her hair once again and the slightly hard nails scratched against her scalp. The tingles from the touch made her instinctively lean further into the position she was currently in: Nuzzled comfortably in the affini’s lap. Echina was had been on her data pad for the last hour. No doubt informing the ‘relevant parties’ about the development and planning the first ‘lecture’. Rosa hoped silently it would not be too demeaning or condescending.
All in all, the main priority of making sure that Echina was okay seemed to be working well. The affini’s demeanor had certainly shifted. From conflicted, nervous, and sad to…Rosa was not sure how to describe it. Determined? Hungry? Relieved? Something in between those three. A few times she had seen the uncertainty creep back into the affini’s eyes as Echina looked down at her. Luckily, it lasted briefly as after a long series of pets it was all but gone again.
There was little for her to do but wait and enjoy the pets. So that was exactly what she did. Nuzzling into a set of particularly comfortable vines and resting her head on a large flower. Rosa closed her eyes and tried not to think. It was not like she could do much anyway even if she wanted. She had handed the reins off to Echina as part of their agreement. Part of her mind found that to be an utterly irresponsible train of thought. If there was stuff to be done, situations she could improve, then she had a moral responsibility to do so. It was compelling, a part of her mind she would have listened to if she could. The other part of her mind found the fact she could not, immensely relieving.
There was nothing she could do. Just wait and see what was going to happen…it had no right to feel as good as it did to reach that conclusion. Echina reached under her shirt and began to scratch her along the back at just the right intensity. Stars…she would never get over how good the affini were at this. It was…unfair…that was exactly…what it was…Everything about…the affini was unfair….
…. “Rosa, I need you to wake up dear~” Echina’s voice came from above and dragged her gently out of sleep. A gentle vine petting her as Rosa yawned and stretched.
Doing her best to ignore the cooing sound rumbling through the vines, Rosa rubbed her eyes and turned. “Did I doze off?” What else could you have done?
Echina continued to pet her, endless warmth in her voice. “Indeed you did love and it's understandable. Helping me with planning can be very tiring work.” The hair of the affini was more colorful than Rosa had ever seen it, bursting with pink and red.
Stars…Echina was pretty. “Help? Did I help?” How had she done that? It was not like Echina had asked her any questions.
“Well of course you did. That was part of our agreement, that I make you help me. And for this task I needed an adorable terran to pet while I worked. It is remarkable how well it helps my concentration. You did your task perfectly, well done~” Echina answered, playfully yet utterly honest.
Rosa blinked as her face slowly turned crimson. Echina couldn’t just call her an adorable terran like that out of nowhere! It was…it was unfair! Even more so when this was exactly what they had agreed on. She had fallen asleep in her lap, it was not like she was going to pull off some dignified argument either. Unfair!
A vine stroke across her crimson cheek. “Awwww, I already know you are cute Rosa. There is no need to make yourself even more adorable just for me. Not that I am going to complain~” Unfair! Unfair! What the hell was she supposed to do?! No matter what she did the affini was going to find her cute either way.
The only choice she had was to endure it. Sitting up, Rosa crossed her arms and turned away. “Sleeping in your lap can hardly count as helping. You do not need to patronize me.” She tried to sound firm. Yet the blush left an unmistakable stutter in her voice.
A vine pulled on the loop of her collar. Forcing her to turn back and look up. “You are mistaken, something I am sure to teach you in time. But first, admit that you are cute.” The affini’s eyes were unmerciful and hungry.
Rosa swallowed but held firm. “That I am cute? Why? We both know that you affini have no standards and I would hardly classify myself as cut-” There was a firm tug on her collar, dragging her slightly up.
One of Echina’s fingers trailed under her chin. “I did not ask you to argue. I told you to admit that you are cute. If you cannot even do such a simple task, I will assist you.” There was not a hint of threat in the words, only an undeniable promise of action.
Squirming, Rosa let out a weak whimper. This was so unfair, Echina couldn’t demand that she…stars, she could. A hundred arguments and reasonings were held back and eventually swallowed. If this agreement was going to go anywhere she needed to cooperate. “I…” her cheeks were burning up again. “Am cute.” What did Echina think she was going to get out of making her say that?
“Well done Rosa. Good Girl~” The smile on Echina’s face was almost so heart-warming Rosa forgot to notice the strange brightly colored device in the affini’s hand. It was small, red and with a singly yellow button. What was th-
Click
A shock of pure pleasure and happiness coursed through her body. Starting from her neck, every nerve cell in her entire being lit up at once with the same overwhelming and indescribable feeling. Her thought process was entirely short-circuited as everything became happy and good. Rosa collapsed forward, whimpering as she was caught in a pair of vines.
It was over as fast as it had happened, leaving her skin and mind tingly. “Wha…did you do?” Rosa asked, her voice slurred as she tried to sit up once again.
The vines did most of the lifting, stabilizing her by having her lean against Echina’s chest. “A simple reward for being a good girl and admitting that you are cute. Did you like it?” The affini explained, showing off the device.
Don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say- “Yes…” Curse the class-D! “Wait…are you training me?” Had Echina gone mad? She was not some animal to be trained with a Pavlovian response!
Echina petted her firmly. “I am teaching you. That was our agreement. You have a dangerous self-loathing problem that I am going to squash. Rewarding you in situations like these will grease the wheels so to say.” It was stated so matter-of-factly Rosa couldn’t help but blush more and shrink a bit in the affini’s lap.
“Oh, and that reminds me.” The slightly playful glint in Echina’s eyes gave way to a bit of red. “While my teaching is an ongoing process, it does not remove the risk of you thinking those horrible thoughts. That is a risk I do not tolerate. At the risk of you thinking those thoughts are still present. Our conversation earlier proved as much. I believe it is for the best if I up your xenodrug dose. It will be somewhere in-between of your current dose and the one you had yesterday.” There was no room to argue as Echina laid out her reasoning. The tone of her voice made that abundantly clear.
The affini locked eyes with her. “However, you did state a preference for being sober. A preference I will accommodate as much as I think is defensible. I therefore have an alternative, though I will warn you that it is also invasive.”
Rosa mulled over it. From the fact that Echina had not told her what the alternative was, it was bound to be quite drastic. Yesterday had been nice all things considered. So long as having agency was not among the ‘all things considered’ . True, but she was not bound to have that either way. It couldn’t hurt to ask…right? “What is the alternative?”
The focus of the affini was intense, her eyes burning gold. “The alternative is an extended hypnotic therapy session where I delve into your mind and ensure the thoughts can never harm you again. This procedure is not like any hypnosis I have used on you before, it is far more intense and invasive. I am only offering it due to the severity of how it is affecting you. You will be safe, that I can promise you with absolute certainty. If we do this procedure, it will be done under supervision at the Domestication center with all the expertise of the compact at disposal.” Echina finished, her serious expression slowly softening into a smile as she began to pet her again.
Invasiveness did not begin to cover it. From how it sounded this was not some minor change that could be tweaked and undone. This was serious, even for the affini who had the power to treat almost everything frivolously. Was her case that bad? Of course it is dumbass, you practically admitted to being passively suicidal two hours ago. You are fucked up, broken, a pathetic waste of spa-
Rosa breathed out and held tightly onto a vine. “I think raising the xenodrug dose is okay. I will consider the alternative…and it’s not that I don’t trust you but…” A cold feeling was spreading from her chest. “I’m still scared.” Vines wrapped around her, gently holding her in place and keeping her warm.
A vine dried away a tear that had started to roll down her cheek. “That is okay. There is no need to decide before you have considered it carefully. I am here to keep you safe, nothing will be allowed to hurt you.” Echina soothed her, the affini’s sing-song voice gently vibrating through the vines holding her. After a moment Rosa felt a warm tingle spread from her neck and across her entire body. “I have administered the xenodrugs through your collar. It should make sure to keep your doses stable and…more precise.” She finished with an embarrassed chuckle.
That the affini would add such a function to a collar was hardly surprising. It reminded her much of how the Haustoric implant functioned, though obviously less advanced. Like an implant…it added to the evidence of this being more like a transition period towards florethood than preparing her to be independent. Maybe it was because of the higher xenodrug dose taking hold but the realization was not too alarming…wait…Hold on a second. “Echina…why did you have a collar like this in your room?” The vines around her froze up.
Echina was blushing! Flowers up and down her form blooming and unfurling in erratic patterns. “I…well, you see. Not long after I met you…I…mmmm.”
How the affini managed to fit both the domineering calm predator and blushing stuttering gay inside the same being was a wonder. “Don’t tell me I was that tempting~ How many nights have your dreamed of having me wear this?” She underlined the question by dragging her fingers across Echina’s vine.
The stuttering got even worse, full gay panic on display. “No! well…yes sometimes. But not like that…eeeeeeeeee….I got it from a friend. A friend that saw us be together at some of the Red dawn movement meetings.” Oooooo. Rosa kept trailing her tails across the vines, applying a bit more pressure just for fun.
“So you get a collar from friends every time you talk to a terran? You must have so many~” Was she being a bit evil at the moment? Perhaps…yes. But this was far too much fun.
The vines in her hands were squirming, parts of Echina’s carefully put together form becoming undone. “She thought…She thought I was making moves on you. Which I was not mind you! But…yeah, I think it was obvious what I wanted even if I couldn’t see it. That is why I have the collar. Satisfied?” How could such a display not have left her satisfied?
Rosa let the vines go and chuckled to herself. “Satisfied. If I am going to wear a collar I prefer for it to have been meant for me , not just any random sophont. I do have standards.” She plopped back into the affini’s lap. Lying with her hands behind her head she savored the sight of the affini who was slowly collecting herself back together, in both meanings of the word.
Her teasing had left the want of retaliation in her warden. A want she was probably trying to figure out how to best put into practice. Rosa had to be honest she was more excited to see what Echina would come up with than afraid of the consequences. It was certainly the xenodrugs, no doubt about that.
The intrusive self-loathing thoughts were practically impossible to conjure. A welcome change even if a part of her felt some guilt over not being able to consider her actions properly...Though maybe it was for the best she was not given that opportunity. Her propensity for ‘pack bonding’, as the affini put it, was highly increased. Probably the reason she had teased Echina so relentlessly, just now. It was not like the affini could blame her though, Echina was the one drugging her with the stuff. The class-Ds were keeping her perpetually honest and direct…something that was bound to be embarrassing but as already concluded: Without agency there can be little responsibility. In fact almost all her agency for the immediate future had been half-voluntarily surrendered this morning…
Wait...Did she have the possibility to not give a fuck?
Her entire life, consequences and responsibility had been the two most important factors in her mind. From the most philosophical of political principles, to organizing and making sure everything was running smoothly, to keeping the welfare of her friends as high as she was able. Every matter scrutinized, carefully considered, stressed over, and acted upon. Now there was no real reason to do any of that. Echina controlled her agency, ergo she had the responsibility…
That conclusion did not feel right, some part of her very much uncomfortable with giving someone else responsibility for her own wellbeing or actions. That was however the agreement they had landed on. And she did still have one important responsibility, did she not…Do whatever Echina wanted her to do. That was something?...wow her relationship with responsibility was fucked up. Maybe that was what the wardship was meant to change? Yeah, let’s say that. All these thoughts were becoming less appealing by the moment.
“Pet me.” Rosa demanded as she curled up in the lap.
There was a pause. “Pet you?” Echina asked, half amused, half puzzled.
Rosa did not change her posture in the slightest, her eyes closed. “Yes, pet me. It’s not very complicated.” Especially not for an affini…so why was Echina not petting her already.
A large hand was placed on her head. “Demanding, are you?” There was the want to resist in the affini’s voice. To not give Rosa the pets she so rightfully deserved.
Rosa knew better. “Yes, now pet me.” Turning around she looked up at Echina with wide eyes before stretching. “Or are you going to leave me entirely unattended?” She smirked, seeing the vines bristle. There was no way Echina could resist.
A second later the hand began petting her, a few vines joining in as the affini predictably relented. Victory! Rosa spread herself on the lap and smiled with satisfaction, savoring each and every scratch on her scalp and back. “Good affini~” She said while petting one of the vines lazily. A few flowers bloomed from it and some other vines went stiff, but otherwise the pets continued without problems. Nuzzled in the perfect bed, with such cozy stimulation it did not take long for Rosa to fall into a dazed half-sleep. At most turning to give the vines better access.
A sudden shift in altitude and position jolted her awake. She was no longer in Echina’s lap, buried in her arms. “While petting you is an extraordinarily relaxing and enjoyable exercise. There is something we have to do. First, lunch. You need to eat.” There was a dangerous glint in her eyes as Echina spoke.
Taken over to the table, two wraps of taco were compiled and brought before her. “Open up.” A vine poked her as Echina ordered her.
“I can eat it myself, you know.” Rosa crossed her arms and looked away from the very delicious looking food.
A delightful chuckle vibrated through the vines. “I know dear, but I enjoy feeding you. And as per our agreement…I order you to open your mouth so I can feed you.” Unfair!
But…it was the agreement. Still irritated, Rosa relented and let the affini feed her. After the fifth bite she accepted her fate and let the vines tell her what to do. Including when to chew or swallow. After Rosa had swallowed Echina once again had that strange red-yellow device in her hand “Good girl~” Wait! Hold o-
Click
Just like before the pleasure and happiness coursed through her like lighting. She was held in place by the vines surrounding her as she momentarily buckled. “Unfair…” Was the only reply she managed to get out between the pants.
Then the feeding resumed, and she was rendered silent. “Well, yes. I suppose it is a tad unfair. However,” A finger curved under her chin “I think you like it a bit unfair~” Rosa squirmed in the vines, only for them to tightened further around her. Echina smiled widely, showing off her long row of needle-sharp teeth. “Now eat up, we do not want to end up running late.”
Two amazing wraps, a lot of squirming and blushing later, Echina lifted her from the table and carried her over to the door. While she was put down on the floor, the vines continued to hold her as the coat from yesterday was elegantly put on her. It did not seem like Echina was going to let her do anything herself. Looking down on the coat she felt more embarrassment bubble up. Having accepted this so carelessly yesterday, when she would have argued today was at the very least a sign she was more sober now. Not that she was anything resembling sober. This was a floret outfit, the fact she was halfway okay with wearing this outside spoke volumes.
Wait…her hands reached up and found the collar, still snuggly attached around her neck. She could not be seen like this! “Can I…” Echina shook her head firmly. “But…but, if anyone sees me in this they will think…”
Echina stepped closer, looming over her with a predatory smile. “They will think what petal? Please enlighten me.”
“You know what they would think! They would think I am your floret…” The argument was not dissuading Echina at all. In fact, it was only encouraging her. The affini was savoring her imminent humiliation!
“More importantly, they would offer you any help should they think you need it. Help that you will accept. Understand?” Echina’s demeanor had turned serious remarkably quickly.
So that was her angle, not that she had denied the floret thing. Rosa took a deep breath. “Okay…but no leash.” Echina did not respond straight away, instead striking up a thinking position. Stars, was she going to torture her like this the entire time? Rosa knew what she had to do…Lightly squirming with her gaze faced down she pleaded. “Please.”
The affini grinned. “Please what ?” Oh, fuck off!
Swallowing every bit of pride, Rosa reluctantly looked up. “Could I please walk without a leash attached to my collar?” Her sight was immediately interrupted by a hand descending to pet her.
“Indeed, you may. Good girl for asking so nicely.” Echina beamed, ruffling her hair. Rosa braced herself, awaiting the click and subsequent rush of pleasure…noth-
Click
The second of delay had given her body just enough time to be unprepared. Vines were already there to hold her as she gently lost balance from the sensation alone. Nuzzling one of the vines, Rosa made a very cute sound as the afterglow settled. This was going to work on her, wasn’t it? Stars, how could this be the scenario that would most likely lead to her independence?
-----------------Centhia, North New Bergen, Melius District, 28.04.2555, 15:33--------------
Echina was trying to keep herself composed. And by the Everbloom it was more difficult than she had anticipated. Rosa had submitted to her! It was maybe not the phrasing the terran would have appreciated but how else was she to word it?
Was it optimal? No, she would have much preferred for Rosa to have done it on completely her own terms with no undue influencing factors as was the current case. However…Echina could not deny that her core was singing with joy. Rosa was hers, if only for a moment. There was no affini luckier than her!
The agreement they had made did involve certain stipulations. Stipulations she was intent on following to the best of her ability. The clicker training was something Quercus had suggested and so far Echina could not deny that it was not amazing to see Rosa be utterly overwhelmed with much needed happiness and pleasure for a few seconds. Whether it would help her open up and accept help was something she would have to consider on a more long-term basis.
Her thoughts were momentarily broken as Rosa stumbled, slipping on some of the snow that had fallen during the night. Her vines were there in a millisecond, steadying the girl and preventing a fall. “Sorry, sorry. So stupid of me to…” Rosa began to stutter out an apology.
That was not going to be allowed to continue. “It is okay. I am here to help you.” Echina enforced eye contact with a vine under the terrans chin. “No need to apologize unless I order it. Understand?” ‘Understand?’ was very quickly becoming her favorite question.
Rosa squirmed slightly in place, another thing that was quickly becoming her favorite. “That’s not…It doesn’t feel right that you can-” The terran interrupted herself, and shoulders slumped. “Sorry, I know you can.” A slight blush blossomed in those adorable cheeks. “I mean, I will try my best.” She finally finished, seeming ready to melt into a puddle next to the snow.
Again, Echina concentrated to keep her composure. Rosa was far too cute for this world. “That’s a good girl~ It might be difficult, but I will help you.” She let go of Rosa’s chin, allowing the adorable thing to shrink in embarrassment. “Now, come along. We still have a bit to go.”
They had been walking for a good 30 minutes, always keeping inside of the Melius district. For the moment it would probably not be a good idea if Rosa encountered any feral-minded terrans…and remembering the protest two days ago…no, best to keep her safe within properly domesticated territory for now.
“Where are we going anyway?” Rosa asked as she tried to pull the collar of the coat up to better hide the collar, to little success.
Echina pointed to one of the massive spires standing out from even among the other affini structures. “Over there, only 25 or so more minutes. As for what it is,” She smiled mischievously “That you will figure out once we get there. If you want to get there faster I could carry you.”
Watching the internal consideration was a treat to behold, especially seeing as it was hidden behind an adorable frown. “I…” Rosa started hesitantly. “…Will consider it.” The temptation to let herself be carried was clear in the terran’s dilated eyes.
It was impressive how strong Rosa’s pride was to still have such a hold while she was under the influence of a strong dose of xenodrugs. “Do you want to be carried?” Echina asked, presenting a vine for Rosa to climb up on.
Pride was all well and good, and it was not like she wanted Rosa to lose it all. Yet, allowing herself to put it aside for her own well-being and happiness was critical. Understanding which way the solar winds were blowing Rosa nodded affirmingly. “Yes…” She conceded and without having to be prompted grabbed the vine and let it lift her up into the comforting embrace Echina had already prepared.
Holding her terran close, Echina pulled a cover of vines of the cute thing. Bundling her up in warm comfy moss and flowers. In no time at all Rosa began to nuzzle into her waist and doze off. The tiny gentle breaths on her vines sent shivers of delight down them. How utterly adorable~
Reminding herself to also move became a challenge as the cute sophont in her vines seemed to absorb all her attention as a black hole would light. Her core was overflowing, bursting with overwhelming emotion. The vines that were not petting or holding Rosa were wiggling back and forth in a rather extreme display of utter adoration. More than twice other affini made sure not to collide with her, something Echina did not notice before the affini in question passed by a tad too close. It was embarrassing, almost a tad pathetic how enthralled she was...and Echina could not care less.
A part of her was even tempted to take a detour to make it to the location later. Yet in that she restrained herself. Therefore they made it there far too soon, to one of the towering spires her people had made. It was far taller than anything ever made by terran hands, larger even than the bureaucratic buildings she had visited on the other side of the city.
As gently as it was possible she woke the drowsy Rosa, petting her gently all the while. “We are here, dear.”
Rubbing her eyes, Rosa craned her neck to look up. “And here I thought the corps liked tall buildings. What is it for? And what are we doing here?” She asked, following the two questions with a big yawn.
Flinging open the doors in an impressive display of affini prowess, she introduced what was bound to become her favorite place on the entire planet. “This is the Headquarters for the Bureaucracy of Knowledge Distribution, Education, and Information Storage. Or to describe it in more familiar terms, it is a library!”
The lobby of the library was impressive, a massive hall ready to accommodate tens of thousands of sophonts at once. Over a hundred affini were currently working at the site, pulling large wagons of books toward their designated sections. Towers rose out of the ground, connecting to the countless floors that ascended above the lobby and those that dwelled below. On each floor a different place to enjoy knowledge to the fullest. Gardens, cafés, libraries of every variety, beaches, arcades, game halls, and some completely underwater ones as well to accommodate the sophonts who were aquatic or amphibious. Be it with a cozy blanket, in virtual space, or in zero-G. Any environment one could think of was available.
She had waited a long time for it to be ready, and frankly its construction was the reason she had chosen to settle in New Bergen in particular. With bursting excitement, Echina looked toward Rosa to see her reaction.
Rosa’s eyes were at first suspicious, then after a few blinks started to trace the environment piece by piece. It could have been her imagination, but Echina was certain that Rosa’s pupils were dilated more than before. “How…how much is stored here? And is it all on paper?”
Guiding Rosa towards one of the towers Echina basked in the awe of her friend. “By the time all the shelves are filled, there will be a couple dozen hundred billion books printed to fill the library. And that itself is only a fraction of the knowledge stored in the data vaults beneath the structure. There is the current combined knowledge of the entire compact, at least at the moment of collection four months ago.” Was she showing off…yes, but how could she resist?
“It is not open yet to the general public, buuut I am allowed a tiny sneak peek due to my profession. I am allowing you exactly two choices today, this is the first. With all the knowledge about the universe available to study, what do you want to find out?”
Rosa had started to fidget and wiggle her feet adorably. “Anything?…ummmm….” While bewildered her terrans voice was full of wonder. “That is too many options Echina, far too many options.”
Poor girl~ Utterly petrified by choice paralysis. Echina giggled and squeezed Rosa with her vines. “And here I was about to ask you what environment you wanted to be in while we studied. If you want, I can make both decisions.” Grabbing her terran's chin, Echina guided the girl’s eyes up to her own. “Would you want to surrender those two choices? They are the only ones you are going to have the entire day.”
Rosa shrunk and whimpered, the reaction of prey that was being played with. And very little could stoke the predator inside Echina better. She kept it down, waiting for the flustered terran to make her choice. After a long tense wait, Rosa squirmed out an answer. “You can make them…”
How had she ever gotten so lucky to be in this situation? Taking out the clicker, Echina smiled and stroked Rosa’s cheek possessively. “Good girl~”
Click
Notes:
I will have a lot of work in the coming future so updates might be inconsistent but there is no doubt i will get bored and write some more.
Even more so if there are juicy comments as rewards :3
Chapter 14: Public debate for needy pets
Notes:
We are back!
I Apolgigize for the looooong wait for this one. School, politics (got elected for local parliament!) and health issues has beaten me down but I am getting back on my feet.
Another chapter might come soon, or it might be a bit. Very difficult to tell. But rest assured the story is far from dead
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
----------------------Centhia, North New Bergen, Spuria Library , 28.04.2555, 19:13------------------------
Rosa was not sure she had ever felt this cozy before. There was a warm cup of hot chocolate in her hand, a book in the other, and her back leaning against Echina. Vines were entwined around her arms, chest, and legs while also supporting the book so all she had to do was flip the pages. Echina herself was reading something on a datapad, or at least that was what she was pretending to be doing. She did not have the impressive environmental awareness of an affini but then again it was rather hard to not notice Echina looking down at her at every opportunity.
Yawning, Rosa felt the vines squeeze around her as Echina cooed in utter adoration. “Are you a bit sleepy dear? You know there is nothing wrong with falling asleep, you do need plenty of rest.”
Before Rosa could answer the cup was raised and her cheek tapped. The hot chocolate was utterly delicious, so perfectly sweet, rich and deep. Letting out a sigh of satisfaction she looked up at the waiting affini…what did…Oh right, sleep. “No I don’t need to sleep, I want to read this.” She pointed to the book. It was a very detailed analysis of the rinan resistance movement by a rinan named Tarax. Information about the movement had been heavily suppressed under the accord so it was a delight to finally get the true story.
A vine started to pet her. “You do know we can take it home, right? And I do think my ward needs some more sleep.” There was less and less room for argument in Echina’s voice.
Pushing forward might let her read it for longer, though it was just as likely that Echina was just going to put her to sleep…Hmmm….decisions, decisions. “Okay, let me read to the bottom of this page and I’ll try to sleep.” It was not a compromise at all, but she wasn’t giving in entirely.
The vines around her tightened a little bit, squeezing her legs together. “My my, how obedient~ Good girl~”
Click
The spark of pleasure burst through her body and Rosa shuddered, suddenly very happy that Echina was the one holding the hot chocolate. It took a second for her eyes to focus again as the pleasure subsided. Her cheeks were thoroughly blushing as the comfy warmth evolved into a different type of heat. “How…how is that going to help me sleep?” Rosa meekly protested.
Echina chuckled. “Whatever do you mean petal? Is there something the matter?”
She was being bullied! How could anyone be this ruthlessly unfair? For a moment Rosa entertained the idea of a counterattack before a sudden and intense feeling of drowsiness washed over her mind. “Not….” Her eyes desperately tried to read through the last couple of sentences on the page, but it was too late. Vines plucked the book away and gentle hands moved her down. A mesh of vines crept over her like a blanket and a pillow of flowers formed under her head. “Fair…”
…..
…..
A surge of movement underneath her brought Rosa up from sleep. The bed of vines under her slid away and she was left on the sofa. She made a displeased sound in response.
“Shhhhh, it’s okay dear. I need to leave for just a few minutes, you can go back to sleep.” Echina’s voice was endlessly soothing and the hand that had begun scratching her head was even more so. It was almost enough to put her back to sleep.
Then the hand disappeared as a blanket was pulled over her instead of the vines. Rosa looked up drowsily just in time to see the hazy shape of Echina disappear out of view. She suddenly felt cold. Not actually cold…but colder, and far less comfortable. Why did she have to leave?
….It was only going to be a few minutes, she could handle that no problem. Sure, sleeping on Echina’s lap had been wonderful but it was not like she was dependent on the affini…or…No, that was a very silly idea. It was probably just because of the biorhythm stuff.
Sitting up, Rosa fiddled a bit with the edge of the blanket. Sleeping seemed much less inviting now, so what was she supposed to do?…Reading! Of course, she could finish that chapter Echina had interrupted her in the middle of. The book was lying only a meter or so away next to Echina’s datapad….Echina’s data pad.
Could she use it? Probably, there was no way it had a password on it, the affini were far too trusting for that. And what are you going to do with the data pad? Read up on what Echina had been writing on you? That seemed like a terrible idea. However, Echina couldn’t be mad at her for checking the news….no….No, that would be unreasonable. Either way, she was far too curious to let this opportunity go.
Grabbing the data pad she quickly found her way to the overnet and then to CPN’s website. Her throat tightened as she skimmed the headlines. The demonstration outside the domestication center the other day was apparently far from an isolated incident. Nothing as bad as the time of the riots, the affini would never allow anything approaching that, but it had been a long time since there had been these many protests. According to the protectorate bureaucracy, there had been no serious incidents and Rosa was inclined to believe that. Most that would create such problems had already been domesticated… except for you, that is. No, that wasn’t true. She had never called for violence. And how did that work out?
Rosa breathed in slowly and then exhaled. The feeling of guilt was there, grasping at the edges of her mind. However, It did not have control. She was working on it, everything was going to be fine. Her eye caught the thumbnail of a debate as she looked back to the datapad: It was Kevin! He looked mostly the same as before…if she ignored the collar. On the opposite side of the table was an older, well-put-together woman she was certain she had seen on TV before. Between them the moderator.
“Welcome watchers, joining me today in the studio is Kevin Offcina, First Floret, and Bethany Hamburg.” Rosa felt herself cringe momentarily upon hearing Kevin’s new name. Why had she blown up at him during that accursed meeting? And why, stars why, had she never reached out to repair the damage?
Images of people-filled streets started to flash by as the moderator continued to talk. “They will be discussing the mounting protests against Compact policy all across Centhia. The protests have often been described as feralist in nature, Bethany how do you respond to that.”
“It is utter nonsense, and more than that it is dangerous nonsense. What we are seeing is people protesting the authoritarian overreach that the affini are happy to perpetuate. No real influence on policy, underground societies upended and forced integration for all. It doesn’t matter how good the food from the compiler is or how perfect the medicine is. Self-realization and the feeling of being heard is integral to any human, and the compact is directly opposed to those things.” The older woman spoke with refined finesse and calm.
By comparison, Kevin looked as shaky as a fifth-rate housing complex. “Framing all the protestors like that is not at all accurate. There are certainly some that have such concerns but there are just as many who are mostly there because they dislike the affini or want to return to the old world. Feralism comes in degrees, and there are degrees of feralism in these protests. It is also not true that there are no ways of having one’s voice heard. The affini are very happy to listen to anyone.” Not the worst she had heard from him during a debate and honestly being a floret on interplanetary TV had to be new levels of terrifying.
Bethany scoffed. “That is categorically not the case. They might listen if you have opinions on the layout of the park or the architecture of the library. But when it comes to important decisions, when it comes to the stuff that matters we humans have no real voice.” Ah…she was a Centhian Realist. Why else would she insist on such an archaic term for terran?
“The transition to more democratic control is an ongoing process. We can’t and shouldn’t expect it to happen overnight. It was less than a year ago since the streets were ablaze with the revolt, its no wonder the affini are moving carefully. It might take time but after that, we will have legitimate democracy. Not some mad house of a constant power struggle that was The Game here on Centhia or a cover for corporate and military interests like on Terra.” The debate was starting to heat up. Something the moderator seemed entirely content with watching happen.
“The Game is Centhian culture, it has existed with us for as long as there have been humans on the planet.” Rosa suppressed a sigh, this was not going in a good direction for Kevin. Sure, The Game and Centhian Realism was a pile of garbage. Sadly, that did not stop people from believing in it. “I have always advocated that it should be a peaceful game, but the affini attempt at abolishing it is straight-up abhorrent. The ‘legitimate democracy’ you claim is coming will only allow you to do what the affini think is right. It is alienating and suppression of human nature, something the hundreds of thousands of people marching in the streets across our planet prove!” Bethany had worked herself up, adrenaline and excitement showing in her eyes. Rosa could recognize the feeling, there was something exhilarating about being in those moments.
Kevin on the other hand had never shared in that feeling. “Meaningful choices?” He said mockingly. “Do you mean oppress and hurt others? That’s the only thing I have ever known any of you people who support The game have ever done. That is also the only thing the affini won't allow you to do. And you know what? I support them in that!” Rosa cringed at the remark. There was no way in hell Kevin did not come off as a compact-supporting floret in the eyes of the watchers.
“Oppress?” Bethany managed to say in an even more mocking tone. “I don’t go domesticating everyone who speaks up against me for ‘feralism’!”
“The affini don’t do that!” Oh no…
Bethany grinned like someone had just offered her a Centhian beetlepie. “Oh is that right?” Kevin’s pupils dilated as he realized his mistake. “Then might you tell me how the previous leader of your organization is doing? Because last I heard she was seen outside a domestication center with an affini handler.” Rosa’s stomach dropped, by the look of it Kevin’s did too.
“Rosa…”
How could she have let this happen? “She was attacked by a feralist…” Kevin said falteringly.
“That was ages ago” Bethany practically cackled. “Have you talked to her recently? Seen her? Can you guarantee those watching that the affini have not domesticated her or placed her in a wardship?” She went in for the kill “Or was she a feralist as well?”
“Rosa!” A stern voice snapped from behind as the data pad was ripped away by a vine.
Oh fuck…
Echina glared down at her. “Did I give you permission to use my data pad? What were you even…” The affini’s eyes turned red as they looked at the data pad. “So that explains it.” The eye's focus returned to Rosa who shrank under the pressure.
“I…I only wanted to know what was going on and-” A vine wrapped itself around her mouth.
“I know your wishes very well, dear. More importantly, you know that you are not allowed. Not until you can be trusted that you will treat it in a healthy manner, something I can divulge is far away.” Echina concluded sternly. “Now,” A dangerous smile spread on the affini’s face. “You need to be punished.”
Keeping the vines around Rosa’s mouth, Echina walked over to the compiler located at the far end of the room. Typing something into the console she soon returned with a drink. Purple liquid in a transparent cup. The vines around her mouth slid away as one of Echina’s fingers grabbed the loop on her collar and pulled her forward. Rosa felt impossibly small under the affini. She wanted to speak but Echina had taken all her words away with just one motion.
“Now, little one~ Tell me what you did wrong.” Echina tugged on the collar, lowering her face to get closer. Her eyes looked so impossibly detailed up close, the dented metal look giving way to an infinite number of shapes and colors reflected in every dent.
Rosa attempted to speak. “I onl-” The finger pulled her closer with another, more forceful tug.
Echina’s other hand caressed her cheek with a finer. “I would advise you to choose your next words very carefully, little petal of mine~”
Fuck…this wasn’t…fuck…Rosa let out a whimper and pushed into the hand. “I…I went on your data pad without permission and…And I looked up stuff I am not allowed to expose myself without your permission. I’m so-” Only a very subtle tug was required to silence her.
“Those words are not for you petal, you have said enough. Good girl~”
Click
As Rosa let out something between a whimper and a moan, vines opened her mouth, and the cup was raised to her lips. “Drink.” It was more of a forecast than an order as there was very little she could do as the liquid filled her mouth. “Swallow.” A tap on her cheek activated a reflex and before Rosa fully understood what had happened she swallowed it all. “Good g~~~~”
Click
The grip around her collar was let go and Rosa collapsed forward, right into Echina’s waiting vines. “~~~~~ ~~~~~~~” What the?...
“Mrrow?” Rosa’s hands rushed to her mouth where the mewl had originated. What the?! “Mrreow?!” Just another mewl. How?
Echina chuckled. “~~~~~~~ ~~~~~?” A hand reaching down to scratch her head. A wave of sublime, relaxing pleasure spread through her mind. “~~~~~~~~~ ~~~” It was impossible to understand the words, every single syllable stretching out or cutting off to form complete gibberish. The tone of the words was on the other hand unmistakable: Echina was adoring her.
Rosa made a few more attempts to speak but each one only managed to produce sounds utterly unproductive for conversation. Unless that conversation was her mewling for attention…at least Echina had left her with that.
What an unfair punishment! Not allowing her to talk or understand anyone around her? It was downright humiliating! Crossing her arms, Rosa turned away from the doting affini. A measure which only caused Echina to coo and pet her more…In that way, it was not entirely unsuccessful.
Without another word, not that it would have helped much, Echina started to dress her to go outside. Some of the vines decided to take a few detours, caressing and squeezing her as they pulled on the coat. There was no mistaking it, there was definitely some class-A in that drink as well.
Click
Something lightly tugged on her collar…Not a vine but…but… “Meow! Mrow! Mrow!” Rosa protested wildly as Echina started to drag her forward by a bright red leash. She couldn’t do this! If anyone saw her… “Mrow?!!” Echina wasn’t even listening!
“~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~” The affini said some adoring words and continued to tug her forward.
This was so unfair! All because she had looked at the news? Echina could be a real tyrant sometimes. Going outside with a collar was bad enough, with a leash she would be surprised if someone did not mistake her for a floret. As they reached the elevator Rosa realized the signs were illegible as well. They were the same symbols, the same letters. That much she could recognize…Yet when she tried to put them together and form words or meaning it made no sense at all. She was utterly helpless, without Echina she couldn’t do more than make pet sounds or make gestures.
The elevator door opened, the door to the outside only a few minutes of walking away. Rosa’s blush was turning into flustered panic. She couldn’t go outside like this, there had to be something she could do…but what? She couldn’t speak, she couldn’t write, Echina was controlling where she was allowed to move…She could…she could beg. Would it be humiliating? Sure, but not close to the humiliation of walking outside with a leash.
Rosa sprang forward before they exited the elevator and grabbed onto Echina’s leg. “Meoow?” The affini stopped dead in her tracks and looked down. It was now or never. “Meoow? Mrrrrr? Meow?” Did she understand?
Echina’s eyes had turned a wonderful gold, her vines wiggling intensely. “~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~?” A question! Had her begging worked?
Rosa nodded in response to the question. “Prrrrrrr…” She was not entirely sure how her body was producing all these sounds so suddenly, then again affini medicine was spectacular. A hand reached down and started to pet her. Gentle fingers scratching her scalp leaving sparks of bliss in their wake. It felt soooo good, Echina’s pets were the best. With her mind in a fuzzy mess, Rosa began to affectionately nuzzle Echina’s leg, purring with joy.
“~~~~ ~~~~”
Click
Rosa shuddered as pleasure surged through her body, for a moment leaning entirely of Echina’s leg to stand upright. She continued to purr as the pets intensified and vines joined in, caressing her all over.
“~~~~ ~~~~”
Click
Vines had to keep her upright as Rosa’s knees buckled under the sustained stimulation. More and more of them ventured under her clothes. She was getting close, if Echina continued-
“~~~~ ~~~~”
Click
Vines lifted her up as Rosa spasmed in their embrace. Her mind was frayed and scattered, entirely unaware of her surroundings.
Click
Rosa came again, letting out a loud moan that echoed in the elevator.
Click
Her body and mind were stuck in a loop. The pleasure would build up, reach a crescendo as-
Click
She was only allowed a few seconds to recover, but never enough for the afterglow to start setting in. Then the vines would start again, stroking squeezing, and caressing.
Click
The pleasure only continued to grow and grow, her need in a desperate race to keep up.
Click
Rosa’s vision started to turn white, spots and sparks flashing behind her eyes.
Click
Her body was not supposed to be able to keep up with this, somehow it was. It was all too much.
Click
Nails digging into vines, Rosa spasmed again.
Click
And again
Click
And again
Click
“~~~~ ~~~~”
----------------------Centhia, Central New Bergen, Hab Complex Dulcis, 28.04.2555, 20:07------------------------
Kevin flopped over onto the pet bed with a groan. That had been nothing less than terrible. Bethany had been ready for every question, and he had been on the backfoot from the starting point of the interview. He wanted to argue that it was better than not showing up or having an affini attend the interview. In the end it was all a game of emotional appeal and Bethany could have come off as callus or mean-spirited. It did not make him feel any better. Bethany's style was what people were used to, the emotions she appealed to were much more the norm than his. And nothing excused the optical nightmare of having Rosa being named. The debate could even have consequences for the Red Dawn Movement’s cohesion. The organization was already struggling with infighting, this was not going to make it better.
"Are you pouting my little sweet pea?" Saccharu’s vine patted him on the head while another turned him around to look at her.
"No, I’m moping." Kevin replied, clutching one of the vines for cuddles.
Saccharu’s sweet, yet teasing voice vibrated through the room. "Oh? Might you care to explain the difference petal?"
"You and the other affini make me pout. Terrans do not, they make me mope."
"Thank you pet, that is very illuminating. Not happy with the debate?” He decided not to answer, nuzzling Saccharu’s vine instead. “Pet, do I need to give you some class-D or are you going to talk to me like a good pet should?”
So unfair! “No mistress, I will talk.” Now he was beginning to pout. Saccharu looked down at him expectantly, a finger lifting his chin. “I am not very happy about the debate, it went poorly…very poorly.”
Saccharu sat down in front of him, her endlessly cascading vines flowing like waves across the floor. “I think you did very well, and~ I am very proud of you for doing it.”
Compliments from her were anything but rare, yet they still made him blush every time. “T-Thank you Mistress…but I don’t think I was very convincing. Bethany tore me apart out there, and made you all look bad even though all you want is to help them. It's not fair.”
“It is okay pet, you did your best. And for what it is worth I think she was very unfair to you. Bringing up Rosa like that was very rude, that poor girl has nothing to do with what you were talking about.”
Didn’t it? “How is Rosa doing, do you know?”
A knowing smile spread across Mistress’s face. “I heard that she is doing a lot better now. Echina is taking very good care of her.” There was an absolute confidence in her words, that of someone who had predicted what was happening and what was about to happen.
Kevin was silent for a few seconds, chewing on the words that were already on his tongue. In the end, they forced themselves out. “Do you think she will be domesticated?”
Saccharu hesitated, her eyes changing hue. “I think so petal.” Her words were cautious now. “Does that make you sad?”
Somehow, it did. Not that it made sense, he knew that Rosa would be happy. The affini, Echina in particular, would ensure it. Yet…being a floret did not fit with the person he remembered. Not the activist who had shouted the loudest at the protests and kept going until her voice was sore and broken. Not the leader who had made sure everyone made it back from the protests and stayed away from the teargas. Not the speaker who had held speech after speech and debated at every moment. Not the workhorse who had been at every meeting, who had pulled the movement forward even when her back was breaking. Not the friend who had been there every time something was wrong and always put others first. He remembered other things as well. Her exhaustion that always seemed to be a tick of the clock away. Her momentary frustration and hopelessness. Her distance and the pride it protected. She was powerful, and fragile. The life she led was certainly not healthy, and perhaps not a happy one either. Yet she had been proud of her work and unbreakable in her determination; Someone he had admired. Was Rosa going to be like that after the affini domesticated her?
“I don’t know.” He finally admitted. Vines lifted him up and into her embrace, the sweet smell of her flowers surrounding him. “I want her to be okay, and still be her.”
Saccharu moved his hair away from his eyes in an endlessly affectionate stroke of her finger. “She will be okay, that I promise. And it will still be her, that is beyond question. She will however need to change, like you have, like this planet must. Change is not eradication, it is life itself. If not it would all be rather boring, don’t you think?” It all sounded so simple when she put it like that.
“Everyone does change…and we usually change after our own choices. We can’t control the world, but we can control, or at least affect how we react to it; in which way it changes us. I got to choose and I chose to be with you, and that changed me. A change I would do over again a thousand times if given the choice…” Mistress made a cooing sound before letting him continue. “Will Rosa get that choice?”
“Maybe, and at least in part. Some things she will be forced to change, I won't deny that. It is for her own good, I think you know that.”
“I do…” It did feel kind of foolish to question it like this. He knew the affini meant well and had the resources and expertise to make their intentions a reality. They were right about the changes happening to Centhia, they were right to help Rosa…the words spoken during the debate crept into his mind. “Mistress, do you know what Centhian Realism is?”
“No sweat pea, I do not. Would you be a good floret and tell me?”
He had never been as deep into political philosophy as Rosa, but it was hard to not pick up on something so dominant as Centhian Realism. “It is this fucked up philosophy that bastardized many strains of old terran philosophy and synthesize it for the Centhian environment. According to them, power is Self-realization and disempowerment is the greatest form of alienation. It is partly responsible for how horrible this place was until you all showed up and according to Rosa it is little more than a flimsy excuse to justify oppression and-” Mistress placed a finger on his lips, silencing him in an instant.
“Pet, where are you going with this?”
Kevin blushed. “I…wonder if the problem is not what the compact is changing everything, but rather that people feel like they don't have a choice. Same with Rosa. Maybe everyone would be more open to how things are changing if they had a say in it.”
“Perhaps, and if we had faith that Rosa and everyone else would make the right choices and changes I doubt we would need to do anything but help them along. Sadly that is not the case, at least not yet. We have domesticated cultures for over a hundred millennia and from that we have learned this to be the least painful course of action. They will understand it is for the best soon.”
The conflict was in a way inevitable. The Affini were never going to cede any ground, for that ground was already exactly as it needed to be. Making everyone else understand that however would be practically impossible. Too many governments and powers in the past had demanded their visions be unobstructed. No one who had lived a year in the accord, or a day on Centhia, could believe the affini out of good faith. “I hope so Mistress. Though I hope we can find some way to talk to them without so much suspicion and disagreement.”
Mistress looked thoughtful for a moment. “We will certainly try petal. Now, my brave little floret needs to eat and relax. You have had more than enough exciting enrichment for this whole week.”
Kevin blushed harder. “Yes, Mistress…one last thing…”
“Yes?” Saccharu’s eyes sparkled like diamonds…Stars she was beautiful.
“Do you think I can meet Rosa soon? I miss her a lot.”
Mistress nodded and scratched him behind the ear. “I know petal, I will see what I can do.”
With no effort, she stood up and started to walk to the kitchen. Kevin leaned into her flowers and vines. “I love you so much.”
The vines around him bristled. “I love you too pet~”
Notes:
Strange to come back after such a long time, but it was very nice to return to these gay dorks. Hope you enjoyed!
And please leave any feedback or questions that might be on your mind
Chapter 15: A vacation from Paradise
Notes:
CW: Horny, needy, lovey and dovey
Sorry for the long wait, turns out being a public representative and moving is a lot of work. Hope you all enjoy this chapter!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
----------------------Centhia, North New Bergen, Hab Complex Ceria, 28.04.2555, 20:47------------------------
Echina closed the door behind her and unclasped the leash from Rosa’s collar. Her ward was blushing with a ferocious intensity, keeping her eyes plastered to the ground. Rosa had been so adorable following her on the leash, and the terran’s growing embarrassment as she slowly grew more aware and realized what was happening was simply delicious beyond anything Echina had expected.
As punishments went it was not anything serious, only a gentle if firm reminder to Rosa of her place. Though that did not stop the terran from viewing it with the utmost seriousness. Honestly they had passed by less than a dozen affini on their way back, and while none of them were going to assume that Rosa was anything but a floret, it was not like anyone had paid them any mind.
Still, there was the matter of the inciting incident. Rosa’s ability to inflict guilt and stress upon herself was truly astounding, the question was how to break her of that troublesome habit?
“Can I…take off my clothes…?” Rosa’s question was pained in both mannerisms and execution. The latter a consequence of the class-W just starting to wear off, the former a consequence of restraining her emotions.
“Why would you…” Oh yes…it had been the moment in the elevator, how cute. “No need to worry petal, I will do it for you.” It was important to teach her ward that she did not need to be self-reliant anymore. Rosa opened her mouth to protest with crimson cheeks before thinking better of it, lifting her arms to allow Echina’s vines to remove her clothes.
“Good girl~”
Click
Echina dispensed the reward, letting her adorable little terran squirm in her vines as the pleasure coursed through her system.
“Now, we need to have a talk. I am concerned about the fact that your mind seems to be impossibly stuck on reasonability and matters that are far from productive to your recovery. Can you tell me why you went searching for news you knew would make you feel bad?”
Rosa shrugged, her body still slightly trembling from the clicker reward. “I just…wanted to stay updated? Nothing more really. It's more a reflex than anything, not staying aware of the news and what is going on is not a luxury I have ever had or wanted….And to be honest I don’t think it is a big deal.” Stars, it was adorable how obstinate Rosa could be. Still, this was not something she could allow the terran to believe was an area of discussion.
Lowering down, Echina cupped Rosa’s face with a hand. “Rosa, your opinion on this matter is noted but nothing more. Your judgment has already proved itself to not be very sound regarding what and what is not a ‘big deal’. What you need is a vacation, a way to break that cycle…” That was what she had hoped to provide with a higher xenodrug dose, but it was obviously not enough.
Oh! Why had she not thought about that before?! “I have something to show you petal~”
It was an unusual graft, the class-J one. A large vine that emerged from her arm, covered in its pink and orange petals. The end was a large circular flower, big enough to wrap all around a terran’s head. Which was coincidentally, the whole point.
“What is that?” Rosa asked, taking a tentative step back. “I know I said that you would be in charge of everything but-”
Echina cut her ward’s protest short, the graft surging forward and wrapping itself around Rosa’s head. For a moment the terran tried to squirm and break free, an effort which quickly ended as the xenodrugs filled the flower and a moment later, Rosa’s lungs.
There were a lot of xenodrugs for her ward to inhale, so in preparation Echina sat down and moved the cutie into her lap. “Good girl~ Just continue to breathe in nice and slow.” After a quick ramp up period her ward was going to experience how relaxing it could be wanting for nothing but cuddles and affection. If this didn’t manage to break Rosa’s habits and obsessions with matters outside her allowed field then she would really be at the end of her vine.
But…just to be sure, why not give her ward a few more pleasant distractions?
Echina’s vines ventured over to the compiler and found a few of the xenodrugs that she would be needing. First was the class-W she had given Rosa at the library earlier, for speech was hardly something the cute thing would need for a little while. Next was some class-N9, just to make sure she was always needy and maybe even some fun Class-Z-WL to give her fun and relaxation even in the land of dreams. And yes, some class-F would help the clicker training to stick a little better.
With all the xenodrugs selected she slowly started injecting them into Rosa one by one. The class-N9 proved its efficacy quickly, her wards breathing growing a bit closer to moans during only the first few seconds.
While sitting there, Echina felt a growing sensation of shame. One side of her hoped that the class-J vacation would work, in some ways she was downright desperate for it to finally allow Rosa to rest and get her mind onto other stuff…and the other part of her worried exactly about such a scenario.
She remembered back to the first time meeting Rosa. Was it not her sharpness that had enamored her to the terran in the first place? Was it not that unflinching defiance and optimistic confidence that formed the core of Rosa’s being?...Was that something which could survive and be compatible with the Compact?
Hopefully the answer was yes, hopefully she was just helping those qualities to flourish in a healthy way. That was what the Compact was about…and yet…the uncertainty was deeply uncomfortable. Was the best she could do truly to just give her full faith to the old ways and believe that Rosa would be best off with a confident and guiding approach. Or was there still room for something else…it felt brutally unfair if there wasn’t. And yet, the Compact’s methods were more ancient than herself by far. Was she so proud and self-sure that she believed she had found a flaw in a path that countless, truly countless, had walked before her?
Once Rosa’s vacation was over they needed to have a talk either way. Maybe they could find a path that would work better then…or she could be proven foolish like the times before…
Stars, life in paradise was no walk in the park. Echina looked around and considered what new furniture her hab would need now that Rosa’s needs were shifted. More places for the cute thing to sleep would be a first, and maybe a few places for her to play as well. There was an anticipation tingling in her vines as well, knowing full well that the many barriers preventing her to care for Rosa in every single way were growing dangerously few.
----------------------A pleasant place and time------------------------
Rosa felt a tap on her cheek and in response opened her mouth, a vine fed her a piece of fruit. It tasted divine, sweet and fresh nectar filling her senses. A vine tapped her on the jaw and she started chewing, extracting more and more taste out of the fruit. Then a final vine massaged her throat and on reflex Rosa swallowed.
“~~~~ ~~~~”
Click
A surge of pleasure washed through her, and for a few moments Rosa stared pleadingly and adoringly up at Echina. The affini radiated an unfiltered sort of joy that made the air sound sweeter than any fruit, her eyes golden and glowing.
A vine tapped her on the cheek, and Rosa opened her mouth. She was fed, she was made to chew and swallow, and then she was rewarded.
“~~~~ ~~~~”
Click
Again and again it repeated, in a sweet timeless bliss of obedience and pleasure.
Then without warning she was lifted and put onto the ground. Her natural instinct, to stand on her legs, was quickly proved to be unnecessary as vines guided her down on all fours. Echina towered over her, radiant and perfect. With a slow and deliberate motion the affini revealed a berry between her two fingers. “~~ ~~~ ~~~~ ~ ~~~~~?”
Rosa couldn’t understand the question, but she knew it was a question…and that there was a reward for doing it correctly. Her mind worked overtime, trying to figure out what to do. She couldn’t speak, couldn’t get up…Oh!
Making sure to stay on her knees, Rosa lifted her arms up and begged. “Meroow?”
“~~~~ ~~~~!”
Echina hunched down, stretching out her hand with the berry perfectly centered in the middle. Rosa moved forward to eat it but vines held her back. The affini’s eyes told her to wait. It was so unfair! The berry was right there, and she had begged so why- Echina nodded and gave her permission. The second Rosa had the berry in her mouth however:
“~~~~ ~~~~”
Click
The spark of pleasure almost made Rosa tip over, yet vines were never going to allow her to do that. A vine tapped her on the jaw, and she chewed, popping the berry in her mouth. Another wave of pleasure washed over her and this time the vines had to hold her up completely as Rosa shook in their grasp.
When Rosa could see more than sparks of white she noticed that another berry was being held high above her head. This time she knew what to do. Arms lifted, eyes pleading and “Mrooew?” A whimpering, begging mewl.
Instead of rewarding her immediately, vines began to correct her posture. They made sure her hands were lifted in the correct way, her fists clenched, her back straight, her neck angled correctly. Only when Echina was perfectly satisfied did her hand lower with the promised reward.
Rosa held back, using every bit of willpower at her disposal to keep the posture ...Her eyes however were pleading, begging for permission. Echina’s smile was wide, the hunger in the affini’s eyes on full display. Rosa whimpered, needy and desperate. Echina kept the stare for a little longer, her vines trailing along Rosa’s form and a finger caressing her cheek. It took more restraint than Rosa knew she was capable of to not nuzzle the hand. Then, finally, Echina gave her permission. Rosa ate the berry from the affini’s hand and-
“~~~~ ~~~~”
Click
“~~~~ ~~~~!”
Click
Rosa came on the spot, falling forward into the affini’s hand and vines who immediately stimulated her further and drew out the orgasm for several more intense seconds. Her clothes would have gotten dirty, if it was not for the fact that Echina had taken away her clothes…quite some time ago. Time was very difficult to keep track of when there was so much pleasure shattering it every few moments.
Basking in the afterglow, Rosa hardly noticed that the vines had guided her back into her previous position: On all fours. The sound of a snap brought her attention up- Another treat!
Rosa begged, trying her best to mimic the posture that the vines had taught her. “Meroorow?”
The hand reached down, permission was given fast this time and Rosa ate the berry gratefully, waiting for Echina to make her chew.
“~~~~ ~~~~”
Click
Rosa came again, this time before the berry had even popped in her mouth. When it did, it only made her cum again and then again as the vines stimulated her faster and faster. The orgasms, the pleasure, it wasn’t stopping.
“Rosa~” Oh, her name! Rosa looked up and saw yet another treat. Her body adopted the posture without thinking, an endeavor made significantly more difficult by the fact that the vines were still fucking her. Her mewl was little more than a whining pants, yet the berry was brought down either way. And when she had difficulties reaching forward to eat it without falling over, it was placed into her mouth by hand, Echina’s thumb staying in her mouth.
“~~~~ ~~~~”
Click
Whether this was just a continuation of the same orgasm that had been going on for the last 30 seconds or a new one was a question Rosa's pleasure-broken mind was too far away to even conceptualize. Every particle in her being was bursting with pleasure and every neuron in her body was dedicated to the purpose of communicating it. The only thing that stood out from the pleasure was Echina, and her eyes burning with hunger. She wanted her to beg again.
It was impossible, there was not a muscle who was not too busy convulsing with sensation to carry out the command. But Rosa tried anyway, and the vines held her in the posture like a statue and she was rewarded.
“~~~~ ~~~~”
Click
Again.
“~~~~ ~~~~”
Click
And again.
“~~~~ ~~~~”
Click
And again.
“~~~~ ~~~~”
Click
And…then something cool entered her body and her muscles relaxed. The orgasm dissipated and vines lifted her up. Arms cradled her and a glass of water was put to her lips, and she was made to drink. She was carried somewhere else, into the bathroom. There the hands and vines cleaned her, because she was a mess in more ways than one. Then, when every part of her felt like they had been created anew she was placed on a lap, and petted carefully until her mind drifted into sleep.
----------------------She didn't need to worry about this anyway------------------------
“Rosa? ~~~ ~~~~ ~~ ~~~~ ~~” Echina’s voice and hand woke Rosa up from sleep. She was in the pet bed, a sea of fluffy gray to embrace her from below with Her hand to pet her from above. It was a sublime feeling of completion.
“Awwwww ~~ ~~~~, ~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~” The affini cooed and continued to pet her. “~~~~ ~~ ~~~~~ ~~~ ~ ~~~~” Mistress spoke some more but Rosa was already drifting off to sleep again.
She was in a room…it was the lecture hall where she had held that speech right before the...right before she had almost died. There was dried blood on the staircase and for a moment she felt that panic and dull pain, then it was gone. The blood was gone, and so were all the bad emotions. Continuing down the stairs she found herself at the foot of the podium. It was taller than she remembered…but that didn’t make any sense? She was…
She was down on all fours? Why was she down on all fours? Rosa tried to stand up, grabbing the side of the podium to keep her up. Her legs felt all weird and…it was still too tall?! Even at her full height she couldn’t even look over it…Stars, this was embarrassing, especially when there were so many people watching.
They had come to listen to her…or were they angry with her? She couldn’t quite remember, and she couldn’t see them either due to the stupid tall podium. Instead they were talking, talking talking talking…wait, they were talking in affini?! The audience were all affini! Were they here to listen to her?
No…that didn’t make any sense either. Oh, Echina was here, they were here to listen to her! Al last something finally made sense. Mistress lifted her up and placed her on the podium, petting her gently. It felt so nice! And it was so easy not having to listen or care about what everyone was saying…
They were looking at her…why were they looking at her? Had she done something wrong? Why were they so angry…or were they just disappointed. It wasn’t fair! Why did they expect so much from her? Why were they allowed to just mull around doing nothing but their own stuff and then she had to be responsible for fixing everything. Who had given her the responsibility for fixing everything?
Someone asked a question, another hurled an accusation, someone was wondering why she couldn’t just get her shit together. Rosa tried to come up with an answer, she knew the answer, but it was like her mind was stuck in amber and her body was lightyears away. Her mouth moved, but nothing came out and then something grabbed her from behind and tore her out of the cold and open space.
Then she was back…back to the core. It glowed like a green sun, warming her skin and melting all the tension that had ever excited in her body. She gave it a hug and felt her body warm up like she had been outside in the middle of winter, and she had just been brought back into the warmth.
Just…it wasn’t the core. It was nice and pleasant, sure…but not the real thing. Hmmm…was she dreaming?
Rosa opened her eyes and yawned, stretching out before rising in the pet bed. That had been a strange dream…And way less fun than most of the dreams she had recently been having. She tried to grasp at the strains of it, but it was already being washed away. Below her was the beeple plushie Echina had given her. She gave it an extra hug before raising up fully and walking out of bed. The room was pleasantly warm, making her lack of clothes not an issue in the slightest. Mistress…Echina really was the best.
Speaking of Echina…she was nowhere in the hab. It did give her a small spark of anxiety, but it soon settled as she spotted a few new things in the hab. In one corner there was another pet bed, a few bowls. One was filled with water and the other some sort of fruit mix. Was she…was she just supposed to eat out of the bowl?...Probably? there were no utensils anywhere, so it did seem to be the logical conclusion.
Hesitantly she slowly started to drink the water, oh! It tasted good! Very good! In a rush she quickly lapped up the rest, relishing the taste and feeling her mind tingle. Then there was the food, which after a few different attempts she decided to eat with her hands. It quickly became a messy affair, fruity juices coating her hands forcing her to lick them clean as well.
It had all gone down so quickly she hardly realized how full she was until all of it was eaten. Heavy and content, she slumped down onto the pet bed Echina had placed right next to the bowls. It was frankly the perfect placement, as from here she had a perfect view of the door for whenever Echina came home.
Something hard bumped into her in the bed…headphones? Out of pure curiosity she put them on. Immediately a voice started to speak. “~~~~~~ Rosa ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~” It was Echina! Or at least a recoding of her…and stars her voice was nice. All cozy and reverberating, making her mind so fuzzy. “~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~” There were also some familiar music in the background…she could have sworn she had heard it before. “~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~” Maybe it wasn’t so important.
What was important was that she was starting to feel very sleepy…and horny. Come to think of it, she had been horny the entire time. Now she was just more so…and something told her she should probably do something about it. “~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~” Mhm…it was just something good girls did.
As Rosa slowly started to masturbate her mind grew more and more fuzzy, the pleasant sensation of Echina’s voice in her mind and her hand pleasuring herself blending together into a pleasant mess. “~~~~~ ~~~ ~~” When she came it was as if on command, and without any of the intensity of before. Just a nice long orgasm, pushing her deeper into the pleasure.
“~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~” Rosa continued to masturbate in a slow and steady beat. “~~~~~ ~~~ ~~” She came again, but yet there was never a need to stop. Her arms didn’t grow tired, she never got sore or overstimulated…it just continued and continued. An endless pleasure that had melted her mind and filled it with honey. Sweet, sticky and impossible to get out of once she was in it. And why would she? “~~~~~ ~~~ ~~” Rosa came again, letting out a soft mewl as she continued to do exactly what the voice told her to do.
------------------------------------------------------
Echina was taking her for walkies!...Or carrying her for walkies, same stuff really. Safely secured in in her chest, Rosa peeked out and tried to figure out where they were going. It was a bright and sunny day out so plenty of affini and their florets were walking the street. Soon it would rain, maybe even snow, but for now everyone could enjoy a sparse moment of warmth and sunlight before the winter fully set in.
By now they had passed the ice cream café where Lulu worked, and the library….and it was not the direction of the domestication center. So where was Echina taking her? The answer revealed itself rather suddenly as Echina entered a warm locale “~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~ ~~ ~~ ~~~ ~~~~” She and the affini at the counter started to talk.
It was a strange place, reminding her of both the café and the medical clinic. “~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~” The affini operator sounded nice, Rosa wondered if-
Echina pulled Rosa out of the little nest in her chest, placing her carefully down on a mat on the counter. “Mrooew?” The mewl just slipped out as both affini stared down on her adoringly.
“Awwwww ~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~?” The affini operator asked affectionately.
Rosa looked up at Echina for guidance and was given a smiling nod in reply. “Mreow!” She answered affirmingly, an answer she was quickly rewarded for with pets and more adoration.
Then, the affini made her lie down on her stomach, and a thousand tiny vines started to venture across her body. Some of them pushed against her back, neck, legs, and arms. Others merely caressed over them, almost unnoticeable. “~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~” The two affini started to talk again.
“~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~” Echina nodded and lifted Rosa up in her arms. “~~~~~~ Rosa ~~~~~?” Rosa responded the only way she could, by nuzzling the pretty affini’s face and letting out a soft mewl.
This seemed to be an appropriate answer as she was gently handed over to the other affini who carried her into another room. The room was huge! And humid. Several pools dotted the room like huge puddles, some with water others with mud or different liquids entirely. There were also beds, chairs and strange hook contraptions a few affini were hanging from.
The affini carried her over to one of the smaller beds and placed her down. “~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~” The words were filled with affection and confident calm, and with each one Rosa felt herself relax as the vines started to move and squeeze her. Carefully sculpted hands and other types of appendages massaged her back, rubbing in soothing lotions that were excreted from the plants on the affini’s chest.
Tense muscles melted under every touch, bones readjusted, and everything just sort of started to fall into place. It was like she had been wearing crumpled clothes for her entire life, and just like that someone had straightened it all out. It was so comfy and nice, she started to fear that she was going to melt and turn into a puddle. Well if she did she would have been the comfiest, happies puddle in the world. And Echina would take good care of her either way.
“~~~~ ~~~~ Good girl~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~” The affini murmured some soft words and placed a berry between her lips, popping it with a tap on her cheek. Rosa’s eyes fluttered, the pleasure rolling over her limp body like a warm wind. Then she was lifted and placed on another bed, this one partly submerged in a strange sort of goo like liquid.
The affini’s vines started to work on her again, this time giving their attention to her skin. A slight tickling sensation emerged from the places where tiny sponge-like growths on the affini’s vines scrubbed her skin. Her body hair was removed, not just shaved but removed from her skin to such an extent it would be impossible to see if it had ever been there at all.
Her nails were clipped, then coated in a nice coating. First a glossy covering, then a red one, then the pinkish red color of Echina’s flower, then some yellow and then some blue. Each layer was so thin they merged perfectly, forming a cutesy landscape of some flowers and blue skies across her hands and feet. “~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ Good girl~” Rosa was given another berry and left to savor it for a few seconds as the affini ventured over to one of the pools.
Oh! Echina was there, submerged in some sort of greenish liquid, another affini was tending to her vines with a variety of implements. Stars, Rosa was not sure she had ever seen the affini more relaxed. She was staring right at her, a golden glow in the affini’s eyes and a wide smile underneath. Rosa smiled back, attempting to give a thumbs up but her hand wouldn’t go all the way. Her muscles were simply too relaxed.
Even as the affini and Echina talked, Echina kept looking at her, only nodding and tilting her head in response to the other affini’s words. They seemed to come to some sort of agreement, and soon the affini returned to lift Rosa up from the bath and carry her to a chair. This one at least looked familiar, it was a hairdresser chair!
It all made sense, Echina was decorating her. Making sure she was as cute and pretty as possible. Rosa squirmed a bit with happiness, her arms and legs stimming the best they could. The pet decorator affini cooed and took a picture of her, then set to work.
Rosa had mostly had friends cut her hair, and in the times when she couldn’t or those few moments which allowed it, she had gotten a hairdresser. But those had just cut and treated the hair as a mass, at most a collection of different chunks of hair. This affini treated every single strand by itself, and her scalp as she was going along with it. Washing, treating, cutting, coloring, styling, and healing the roots with some sort of salve. The procedure would probably have only taken the affini a minute at most, were it not for the amount of detail they went into.
By the end not a single hair was out of place, literally. The affini took up a mirror and showcased the result. Rosa had always liked her hair, the natural curls perhaps the only things about her appearance she had gotten compliments for before the invasion. What greeted her on the other side of the mirror made it look like the disheveled hair of a stray animal by comparison.
The curls ran down her shoulders like rivers of crimson fire, gently cooling to the color of Echina’s flowers as it reached her ears. It beautifully windowed her spotless face, though the affini had allowed it to keep its furrows and marks. Streaks of her natural hair color still showed through the shades of red, yet that as well was clearer and free of any wear or tear.
While she had been lost admiring the master craftsmanship that her hair had now become, the affini had brought forth clothes, and once more the vines were upon her. A flowing summer dress, slightly transparent and with thick seams that either meant to appear as vines, or were simply vines attempting to appear as seams. Her legs shuffled together for a moment as the affini adjusted the dress and their softness as the mett could only be matched by affini vines themselves.
The top was no less liberating or beautiful, drapes of long fabric knotted and wrapped across her waist and chest with utter elegance. It felt as light as she was wearing nothing at all, yet squeezed her like the clothing itself was giving her a hug. Strains of red and pink chased each other across the dress and top, and with the help of the affini’s paintbrush across her arms and legs as well.
“~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~~” The affini stood back, taking note of her work. ““~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ Echina ~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~”
There was a slight stutter in the air, as the rhythm had stopped moving for just a few seconds. Rosa looked behind her and found Echina, her flowers in full bloom and with eyes full of both indescribable hunger and everlasting adoration…and a not unnoticeable amount of fluster. “~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ Rosa~”
That was her! Rosa nodded excitedly and ran forward, leaping into a hug with Echina’s closest leg. It was not allowed to last for long as Echina lifted her up, and hugged her tightly. For the first time in stars knows how long, words suddenly felt very important.
Rosa pushed herself a bit out from her affini’s chest and pointed to her throat. Echina was confused for a split second, then looked conflicted, and then Rosa felt her tongue loosen as something pinched her in the arm. “I…aaamamaama.” Rosa lifted her tongue up and down, trying to get a hang of it again.
What had been a very touching moment threatened to quickly become a humorous one, so Rosa gave it her best shot. “Th..Thank you…Mistress.” Then she buried her burning face into the affini’s chest once more.
For a few seconds She was utterly stiff and then the vines loosened, and the hug grew tighter. “Thank you too Rosa…” A kiss was planted on her forehead. “Thank you so much~”
Notes:
Stars, if only I could get the same treatment. The massage specifically.
See you all next time, in hopefully not too long
Chapter 16: Hugs
Notes:
Hi everyone, been a bit since i last had inspiration for this story but I think I finally have what i need to finish it. Hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as I have enjoyed writing it.
Chapter Text
--Centhia, North New Bergen, Hab Complex Ceria, 13.05.2555, 14:13--
Echina did her best to remain focused on the article on her data pad…She was having little success. It was not that the article was boring by any stretch of the imagination…but rather that the cute little thing in her lap could not stop distracting her. She was just so…cute! Echina had thought that maybe her excitement and intense adoration for Rosa would calm a little after a few days, but the opposite had happened instead.
The little details of her adorable ward's behavior that she hadn't seen before was just feeding her more and more. It certainly did not help that the class-J affected terran had started to slip into calling her Mistress every now and then, or that the spa operator had misinterpreted her request for Rosa and made the ward look like she was ready for signing the domestication contract. And it was not like she could complain, Rosa looked glorious, adorable, and most importantly the terran was in love with the look herself. At least now that she was on class-J…
Rosa stretched and yawned, arching her back up as a request for more scritches. Unable to deny such an adorable display, Echina began petting her with the tips of her fingers, each laced with class-A which seeped into the cute thing’s skin and turned the pleased murmurs into pleased pants. Stars! She was so gosh darn cute!!
“Awwww, do you like that?” Her hands moved faster and with more pressure. Rosa’s only answer was more pants and then a quiet relaxed moan. “Yes you do! Such a good girl~” It was amazing how well the class-N9 had worked to relax and distract her ward, and how much she seemed to be enjoying it. Sure, she and Rosa were both academically minded, and she suspected Rosa had never explored this side of herself much, but that did not mean the happy chemicals were any less potent or worthy of being enjoyed.
All she needed to do now was bring Rosa over the end and draw it out for 10 minutes or so and the adorable thing would probably fall right back asleep. Which was an improvement, when she had started training Rosa…a few days ago ? Her ward had not lasted more than 4 minutes, top.
Feeling her own hunger grow in rhythm with Rosa’s increased desperation, Echina considered denying-
Pling…Pling…Pling
Someone was calling her? Right now? Well… Echina continued to stimulate her terran, and wrapped a vine around her mouth to silence any sound which would not be entirely appropriate for the caller to hear. Funnily enough, being bound like that seemed to increase Rosa’s desperation; How adorable! And valuable information for later.
“Hey, it's Echina.” She responded to the call as Rosa started to squirm in her vines.
“Hi! By the Everbloom, it is good to finally hear your voice again.” Saccharu exclaimed. “How is it going?”
“It is going well…and yes, it has been a long time since we have talked. How is Kevin?”
“He is doing well! It was actually on his behalf I am calling. He misses Rosa a whole lot and is more than a little worried for her. Would it be possible for us to arrange a meetup for the two cuties?...That is if Rosa is ready for something like that, I know she has been going through a very difficult time.”
Echina glanced down at Rosa. “She is doing well…but is a bit indisposed at the moment. What about tomorrow?”
“Indisposed? Stars, I know you value her independence, but I hope you are not letting your ward walk all over you and making herself busy.” Saccharu joked. “Tomorrow works great, you two can come over here at noon and stay for dinner. Kevin will be so happy to hear the news.”
Echina glanced down again at Rosa who was currently spasming in the middle of her 4 th orgasm. “Yes…That sounds good…see you then.” Then she hung up. It was perhaps a bit abrupt, some might even call it rude…but she had been holding back long enough and Rosa had been making some rather adorable and irresistible noises. She would have to ramp the cute terran down a little on the class-J, but that was an issue for later.
The gag was removed, and her vines set to work making Rosa sing properly.
--Centhia, Central New Bergen, Hab Complex Dulcis, 14.05.2555, 16:25--
Kevin felt on edge and had done so the entire morning, despite all Mistress had done to help. Some xenodrugs could alleviate the issue but no, he needed to be in the right state of mind for when Rosa arrived. Saccharu knew and respected that and had not given him more than his usual regimen so far, though She was ready to do so at a moment's notice if she felt it necessary. That kind of security made him feel warm inside, safe like he could be nowhere else.
His eyes look aimlessly out onto the street below, trying to count the number of protestors. All of them were peaceful and under careful watch by plenty of affini no doubt, yet the fact they are even there is a frightening proof of the situation. One he has done little to help alleviate with his floundering on stage.
Does Rosa even want to see him? He turned his back on her and selfishly pushed all the responsibility for the movement onto her, again. How many times hasn’t she been there for him? Stars, he can’t even remember. Was it any wonder she blew up at him when she learned he had taken the easy way out and left her behind? She had needed him, for once she had needed him…and…
“You have a visitor!” The Hab-AI excited tone teared his focus away from the street. She is here!
Saccharu was beside him as he walked quickly to the door, his heart beating like a hammer in his chest. Please…please be okay. “Shall I open the door?” Mistress asked, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Kevin considers it for a moment before nodding, this anxiety will only go away once he sees that Rosa is okay.
The door was opened and…Where was…oh…oh! Echina was standing in the doorway, gently cradling a very different looking Rosa. She was almost hidden beneath the vines draped over her to keep her warm and she even seemed to be asleep…Despite that the fact that she was different was obvious. Her face was more relaxed, no longer seeming to be considering a problem like she always used to do. Her hair was also different…has Echina decided to-
“Welcome! Please come inside.” Saccharu’s sweet greeting served to break the spell keeping Kevin trapped.
“Thank you!” Echina responded warmly, stepping inside. “Time to wake up Rosa~” The terran in her arms was gently woken and then placed on the ground.
Stumbling with a bit of that clumsiness Kevin knew all too well, Rosa looked around with sleep in her eyes. It was not only the stumbling, her pupils were dilated and her clothes…Echina couldn’t have- “Kevin!” Rosa exclaimed with a smile, throwing her arms wide and giving him a big hug. “I missed you.” She missed him?
All his worry was banished in an instant, the relief of seeing Rosa smiling and willing to stand the sight of him pressing everything else aside. At first Kevin just smiled and hugged her back. Then all the tension he had been carrying fell away, little by little. He cried, resting his head on her shoulder, and clutching her back. It didn’t seem like she fully understood why this was happening, but she pressed him closer and put a hand on his head, running her fingers through his hair. “I-I’m sorry…” His words were pressed out between the tears, filled with guilt.
Rosa shook her head gently. “It’s okay…You don’t need to be sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong.” The situation was familiar, one that had happened countless times before. “Everything is going to be okay.” It was impossible not to melt into the hug, the feeling of safety keeping his mind in balance as he gently cried.
When all the tension had left him, they parted. Rosa was smiling reassuringly, giving him one last squeeze before letting go. “You okay?”
Kevin nodded, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed. “Yes…I think so. Thank you.” With his eyes free of tears, it once again became obvious how different Rosa was. “What about you?” It looked as if Echina had domesticated her, even her hair was colored to match the affini…and the collar did not sell it any less.
Rosa let out a giggle. “I am doing fine…very good actually.” She almost sounded a bit dreamy as she looked back at Echina. The two affini had so far remained silent and still, giving them space and just observing. Rosa’s giggle was apparently too much.
Echina stepped forward and began petting her. “Awwwww, such a good girl~” The friend Kevin had known would have easily dodged to the side, offered a polite rebuffing and been on her way before the offending affini could realize what had happened. The Rosa in front of him leaned into the vines and hands, tiling her head upwards to give Echina better access.
Click
A loud click sounded from the affini’s hand and Rosa quivered in response, a blush appearing on her face. There was nothing but mutual adoration between the two, that symmetrical adoration between floret and owner Kevin knew one could see between him and his Mistress.
Saccharu picked Kevin up from the floor, a vine holding his hand. “I understand you want to ask questions, petal, but let us allow them to sit down and talk a bit first.” He gave a hesitant nod in return, Mistress did know best after all. With a timing that only an affini could orchestrate, the alarm of the oven went off. “It is ready, please sit down while I bring out the brownies and tea.” Saccharu placed him on the couch and then quickly darted off to the kitchen, a single vine remaining to hold his hand.
Echina sat down on the couch opposite, Rosa settling in the affini’s lap and nuzzling into her vines. “I am sorry it has taken so long for us to arrange this meeting,” The affini looked at him with light blue eyes. “Rosa…has struggled a good deal…it’s been a messy affair.”
Kevin nodded, reminding his suspicion that no matter what, Echina loved Rosa and beyond that would never do anything to compromise Rosa’s happiness. “Thank you for taking care of her…she seems better.” And it was true, the Rosa who hadn’t even considered listening to the conversation looked far healthier and less stressed than the one who had snapped at him over a month ago.
“I hope you are hungry~” Mistress returned, placing a plate with a mountain of brownie pieces on the table, and two big bowls of mineralized water for herself and Echina. She sat down and quickly moved Kevin over to Her lap, scratching his scalp, neck and back. Before he knew it he was lying stomach down and arching his back in response to the scritches. “Good boy~” A burst of happiness passed through him. He was a good boy!
Mistress started to feed him pieces of the brownie, the delicious sugary taste melting in his mouth. It was sooo good! Stars, no one made better food than Her. The wondrous sensation increased as the xenodrugs in the brownies heightened his sense of taste, making each bite better than the last. Soon it was all he could focus on, the wondrous taste and the feeling of Mistress’s warmth around him.
He faintly recognized that Mistress and Echina weretalking, and that Rosa was in much a similar situation as him, but then Mistress asked him to beg for the next treat and that realization fell out of focus. He needed that treat, dangling just centimeters over him. Whining, Kevin pushed up his hands and looked pleadingly up at Her. “Please? Please Mistress…Please, can I have a treat? Pretty please? Pretty please with sugar on top?”
“Awwwww, such a good boy~” He was a good boy! This treat felt extra special, the taste of hard work, at least for a floret, making it taste o so good. That, and probably that he was getting rather high. He needed to cuddle, the xenodrugies told him so very clearly. Even without his pleading whimpers and clutching of vines Mistress would have known this.
That was why it was such a shock that instead of burying him in vines, she put him down on the pet bed next to the couch. The second of loneliness was agonizing, and then Rosa was there. Neither of them spoke, but both knew they wanted the same thing. Without delay they hugged and got comfortable in the soft haven of plushies and fluff. Rosa had always been taller than him, something she had annoyingly maintained even after his growth spurt from the affini xenodrugs. Now that became a blessing, as she gently held him from behind, burying her face in the back of his neck. It was an utter sublime state of comfort and safety. Warm soft skin against soft warm skin, gently touching each other to feel even more of the warmth they now shared.
Above them there were sounds of adoration, and sometimes vines would descend to pet and caress them, even feeding them a treat every now and then. The flow of conversation soon continued, the sing-song voice of the affini a pleasant background noise. It was so nice to feel Rosa hold him, seeing her safe and happy. A tiny voice raised some concern, but it was drowned out by the comfort.
Turning, he looked into Rosa’s eyes for a couple seconds. She was smiling, the pupils of her eyes dilated and dazed. He wasn’t sure he had ever seen her so relaxed, and he had definitely never seen her this inebriated. “Are you happy?...” It felt like a selfish question, one to put himself at ease.
Rosa blinked in confusion, then nodded and smiled. “I am…” Thank the stars. “I think.” The second of relief was poisoned by doubt. “Echina takes good care of me…and I wasn’t good at taking care of myself…so, this is okay.” She nodded, clearly having to put a great deal of effort into something that was not cuddling. “More cuddles?”
Kevin nodded and this time he held her. Feeling how the drugs in his system were battling his anxiety was a strange sensation. An ebb and flow of emotional relaxation and then piques of momentary fear before it was soothed once more. While they lay there, Rosa quickly drifted off to sleep, holding his arm close to her chest. It was nice, and a little while later his mind grew heavy and sleepy as well.
Something warm and gentle ruffled through his hair, then gently started to scratch his scalp. A pleased noise left his lips as he pressed into it. Another pleased sound from next to him indicated that Rosa had also been awakened by nefarious affini machinations. Blinking the drowsiness out of his eyes he spotted both Mistress and Echina standing over them, petting their respective terran. “It is dinner time little ones~”
“Nooooo…” Kevin protested weakly, holding onto Rosa and savoring the warmth. “Five more minutes…please?” He looked pleadingly, earning another adoring sound from Mistress.
“If only I could, my sweet little treat,” Vines untangled him from Rosa and lifted him up. “But we do have guests and you both need to eat. I made some of your favorite food~” Noodles? “Yes pet, noodles. Such a clever floret~” He was a clever floret!
Mistress carried him over to the dinner table where a big pot of noodle soup was waiting. Seated in Her lap, She filled the bowl. Echina sat down as well, Rosa in her lap…was she going to feed her? The thought hadn’t really struck him before now but…Stars, how would Rosa react if she was not on xenodrugs? A vine on his cheek made him open his mouth and he was fed. The savory, salty food was exquisite, an endless cascading series of tastes playing in his mouth. On the other side of the table Echina fed Rosa in a very similar manner, and from how well Rosa responded to the vines this was not the first time.
For a couple of minutes he and Rosa enjoyed the food, and while it tasted amazing, his anxiety kept growing. The xenodrugs from the brownies were wearing off and the idea of what was happening started to grow intolerable. What if Rosa didn’t want this? What if she had accepted it out of some misguided reason…What if…what if she was going to be different forever?
One of Mistress’s hands were gently placed on his shoulder. She whispered into his ear, her voice like a warm spring wind. “You can ask now, if it becomes too much I will intervene.” He looked up, seeing the caring glowing eyes of his owner. Stars, he loved her so much.
“Miss Echina…could I ask you a question?” He could do this, he just had to stay composed.
Echina grew a little firmer, and she put the chopsticks she had been feeding Rosa with down. “Yes you can, dear.” There was a certain insecurity in her voice Kevin was not used to hearing from affini.
Breathe, you can do this. “I…The Rosa I knew would not…She would not be in the state she is now willingly. Can you tell me what happened?” It sounded awfully close to an accusation.
“We tried it without xenodrugs first, but they proved necessary for Rosa to relax and begin healing. She was depressed, suffering from a pretty severe burnout, harbored self-loathing tendencies and guilt. Me and Rosa have talked about it, and then she proved the necessity for her mind to have a little bit of a break.” …That did sound like Rosa alright.
“And when that break is over?” Kevin twitched nervously, holding the vine in his hand tight.
A slightly confused expression dawned on the affini, it almost looked like she had forgotten something. “A-at that point…we would continue to make sure she can be happy, and if possible independent.” A wave of relief passed through Kevin’s mind. Of course Echina respected Rosa’s wishes, how could he even have considered anything else?
“That…That makes me happy to hear. I am sure Rosa would be happy as a floret…but I can’t really imagine her being one, you know?” It was a bit easier with the Rosa sitting on Echina’s lap who was currently in the process of nibbling on a vine.
Mistress petted him slowly. “While she does have a powerful force of will, it is not something incompatible with being a floret. Neither is it incompatible with being independent, so long as that is possible while securing her happiness.” That was probably true, there was not just one way of being a floret. Mistress adored Rosa for a few seconds, petting her with an outstretched vine which Rosa nuzzled into. “She seems to have taken to the class-J very well. When did you put her on it?”
Echina went a little stiff again, a few of her flowers blooming. “Well…It might have been…two weeks or so ago? What date is it?”
Mistress let out an uncontrolled laugh, like wind rustling through weeds. “So you let her be sober for five days? That is…Stars.” <Echina, if you want her that badly I do think there are forms you need to fill out.> Oh, She was talking in affini now. Kevin pouted a little in reaction to being left out, some more food and pets quickly bribed him out of it.
<I…She wants to be an independent, and I am not going to break her trust in me by filing a notice of intent. I just couldn’t stand her being in pain, and we talked and she broke the rules I had set up for her and I thought a day or two on class-J might be good to get her out of that loop and then…then I kind of just…didn’t stop?> Despite the elegant and beautiful nature of affini speech, Kevin couldn’t help but notice how rambling and uncomposed Echina sounded.
<You don’t have to explain you cluster root, I think you both have needed this. There is however a question about how long you have until her evaluation.>
<Three weeks at most…dirt, that is not a lot of time.> Echina’s expression became troubled, her vines tightening around Rosa.
<It is not, you will have to make a decision today. Either, let Rosa continue to relax and be cared for. We both know her life will be good and her happiness secured, but it will not be on her own terms. Your other choice is to ramp her down from the xenodrugs and help her the best you can so she can pass the evaluation. This second option will be hard on the both of you, and Rosa will suffer along the way as a consequence. Are you sure you can handle that?> Kevin wasn’t used to hearing Mistress sound so firm and authoritative.
Echina practically squirmed in her seat. <I…I think I do. I don’t like it, but I like the idea of breaking my promise to her even less. She deserves this chance.>
<No. She deserves to be happy, as her caretaker you have to judge if this chance is going to provide that. I know you love her, and I know you want to give her all that she wants. I also know that you have seen her in pain, and in situations no affini should ever see their floret. What I want is for you to think this through, for both of your sakes.>
Echina’s eyes went dark blue for a couple seconds, her grasp on Rosa so tight the relaxed floret couldn’t move. <Why is this so difficult? When I arrived I thought myself so prepared...and…and this planet has kept making me doubt that.>
Mistress stood, walking over to Echina and intertwining vines with her while still holding Kevin to her chest. <I don’t know much about history, but the culture around food reveals more than one would assume. So many cultures have been plagued with shortages of the absolute necessary, brutal climate, horrible disease and more than often societies that cannot protect those that live in it. This planet…it was not a good place before we came, in fact I hazard to think of a place that has been worse for sophont life. I still get guests who are suspicious that their pastries have been poisoned, or who are afraid that sitting in front of the windows will be a fatal mistake.> Mistress’s eyes were blue as well now. <If this was easy, then our help would be far less necessary. One day this planet will have forgotten all its pain and suspicions, but we will have tasted some of that bitter poison to make it happen.>
The two affini embraced in a full hug, and Kevin was cradled next to Rosa as the vines around them mingled. <Thank you…> The melodic whisper vibrated within the mesh of vines. Kevin gave Rosa a hug, sensing that despite their mutual obliviousness it was probably the right thing to do.
A minute later the vines unfurled from each other, returning to two separate forms. <You are going to do well, and Rosa will be happy. I am sure of it.> Mistress’s voice was back to its light and fluffy self. “Oh, and since I know you are out of the loop I should tell you that we are working to handle the unrest situation.”
Kevin nodded, feeling a surge of pride. “Mistress used my idea!”
“Yes we did~ Such a good boy~!” Mistress gave him some well-deserved headpats. “We are organizing a grand summit, a way for the terrans to speak their mind without having to get cold out in the street.”
Echina looked a little suspicious. “Can’t that be a bit risky? Giving ferals a platform isn’t exactly my idea of ensuring calm.”
Mistress shook her head in humorous disbelief. “We have made plans, don’t you worry. Either way we have to do something, and letting the terrans feel some agency will let them blow off some steam in a controlled environment.”
Kevin, in spite of his interest in the conversation, let out a yawn. This immediately caught the two affini’s attention. “Awwwww, is my little sugar top eepy~?” Mistress teased.
“Noo-oooo.” Another yawn broke off his protest.
“Such a silly pet~” The vines entwined around him, smothering him in sweet sleep inducing fragrance. “Say goodbye to Rosa, then it is straight to bed.” So unfair!
Pouting slightly, Kevin caught Rosa’s attention, she looked sleepy as well. “It was nice to see you again…please visit soon, okay?” A tiny part of him wondered if she would be less forgiving once she was sober…it was probably best to talk to Mistress about that.
Rosa smiled and nodded. “Of course…It was nice to cuddle, we should do that more often.” She nodded again, as if confirming that she had just said something of great importance.
Echina gave Mistress a hug, whispering as she got close. <Oh, and thank you for the collar. She is…it's just so cute on her.> Silly affini and their secrets. At least Mistress found it funny.
--Centhia, North New Bergen, Hab Complex Ceria, 15.05.2555, 12:58--
Rosa felt as if her head was filled with a honey that was slowly being drained. Almost like waking from an extremely pleasant dream, but with the waking being slow and gentle instead of abrupt. Her body felt good, not just free of pain, stiffness, and exhaustions…but good. It was actually pleasant to be contained within the skin, bones, and flesh that was her body. A familiar and wonderful fragrance filled her as she took a deep breath in, her release was that of a pleasant sigh. “Good…morning…” Rosa yawned, stretching and nuzzling into the lap she was laying on.
“Good morning to you too…” Echina’s voice was full of adoration, and uncertainty. “How are you feeling?”
Rosa kept her eyes closed and stretched out again, pressing her back into the smooth vines. “Good…very good.” There was usually always something to complain about. Being hungry, thirsty, tired, unfocused, groggy…but no, there was nothing wrong at all.
Then, somehow it got better as Echina started to pet her. “It is good to hear that. Do you understand what has happened in the last two weeks?”
It was awfully tempting to ignore such a question and instead continue to cuddle the vines around her, but it did sound important for Echina. Like fragments of a dream, which seemed less like a dream with each moment she kept focusing on it, the memories returned. Echina had taken care of her, and made sure she didn’t complain or resist being taken care of either. She had slept a lot on her affini’s lap, been fed countless amounts of treats, gone to the spa several times, eaten at the ice cream shop to cuddle lulu…and visited Kevin. She had hugged him…reacted well for once. A change from your blunders the last two months. It was long since she had heard that voice…that was perhaps good. “I remember.” She concluded.
Echina gave her a few special scratches as a reward. “Good…and how does that make you feel?” Why was she so careful?
“It…it has been nice, and I am glad I got to see Kevin again.” Rosa was feeling less and less stuck in the honey. “Are you expecting me to say something else?” The presumption felt strange on her tongue.
“You have been on class-J for a little while, the adjustment to a sober state can be confusing. Either way, I am glad you enjoyed your Jacation.” Echina leaned down and planted a kiss on her forehead, her eye glowing golden with joy.
Rosa relaxed a bit more, but she could feel a certain unease returning as she progressively grew more sober. How long had Echina said it had been? Two weeks? That…that didn’t leave a lot of time left of the wardship. Did that mean Echina and the other affini had come to the conclusion that she needed to be domesticated? It wouldn’t be new for something like that to happen, once the affini considered you a floret they had little inclination to inform you of everything that was going to happen.
It was less scary of a thought than before. Being a floret wouldn’t be the worst fate and…well, she had enjoyed the past two weeks. There was no denying that. Was that all she wanted from her life felt like a more impactful question. No, she did want more…and that ‘more’ included a lot of stuff she could never do as a floret. On the other hand she could live without it, the last two weeks had already proved how much change Echina could put her through.
Echina…The affini did seem quite happy in almost all of her memories. Happier than she had seen her since cutting contact with her. And you were of course sober enough to detect any irritation or doubts she might have displayed. That was true… “Did you enjoy taking care of me?” Rosa asked, keeping her eyes closed. Confronting her doubt was probably the best thing to do no matter what.
Echina sounded a little surprised at first, as if the mere question was ridiculous. “Did I enjoy it? Oh by the Everbloom, I enjoyed it more than it is possible to describe. Every moment taking care of you has been properly documented, cherished and will continue to be so for millennia. Do you have any idea of how cute you are when you are asleep? It…It…” It sounded as if the affini had been left literally speechless just thinking about it. “I don’t have the words. So yes, I enjoyed taking care of you.” A hand came down, petting her with the intensity of Echina’s words.
Rosa felt warm inside, and for once she allowed herself to enjoy it. That Echina found such enjoyment from taking care of her was in one way bizarre…and in another way something she could relate to a lot. “Good, it would have been unfair if I was the only one getting a vacation.” Vacation…right, the vacation was over. “What happens now?” Now that was a scary thought.
The pets grew gentler and calming. “That is up to you. It was not my intention to keep you on class-J for so long, and it is only a few weeks until your evaluation. If you are going to have any chance of passing it and remain independent we need to start more direct therapy and treatment. I can’t promise you that it will be easy, and I can’t give you any more leeway, but I promise we will do it together.” She was right, there was still plenty of gunk in her mind. Some of it felt out of place now, some of it still felt like it belonged.
“And the other option?” Even asking felt like stepping a foot over the threshold. Did that mean she was healthier? Or just molded by the affini and their xenodrugs to be okay with the idea.
“The other option is that you sign a contract of voluntary domestication. You can become mine…or someone else’s if that is what you want.” Echina’s voice was measured and even, but the last words were filled with hidden fear and pain. “It will mean no more struggle, and no more fighting. A little after you have been domesticated you will receive a haustoric implant which will secure your health and mental well-being. The same will happen if the evaluation concludes that you need to be domesticated. In that case I can sign a notice of intent so you can become mine, if you want that.”
Okay, now she was being silly. Rosa opened her eyes and sat up, resting against Echina’s torso. “If I am to become a floret, it will be as your floret. So stop being ridiculous, I love you, remember?” Echina nodded, a bit of tension leaving the affini’s body.
The main question still remained. Did she want to fight? Or submit? Had it been any other affini it wouldn't even be a question, they would alter her too much. Rosa looked up at Echina and found herself doubting if she wouldn't do the same. Not maliciously, but out of loving obligation and believed necessity. Echina was still an affini, a member of an imperialist expansionist entity with the cultural justifications to do so. A few months of meetings and Marxist rhetoric was not going to change hundreds of years of societal pressures and adaptation.
There would be parts of her that Echina would not allow her to keep. There would be moments where instead of questions and talking, it would be taken. Echina promised her no more struggle, no more fighting. Who would she be without that? Everything that made her was something she had brought forth, a consequence of her efforts, even the bad side and the scars. Echina might keep the former, and smother the latter. You tell her that you love her, and then you think of her like this? What a good friend you are.
Rosa swallowed the doubt and came to a conclusion. “I want to try.”
Echina nodded, her eyes a light shade of blue before slowly normalizing into green. “Then I will help you as much as I can. I believe you can do this,” A vine caressed her cheek. “But always remember that I am here with you, no matter what happens.”
Rosa leaned into the vines, gesturing with a few nuzzles that she would like some pets. “I know…And thank you for doing this for me. Not just helping…but believing in me.” This was going to be hard.
“Always love…Now, if we are going to do this…You will need these.” Echina retrieved something from within her…a set of sound isolating headphones. “And you will need to take off the collar.”
Rosa froze, unease plunging her mind into doubt. On an intellectual level she knew Echina was right, she needed to be able to grow into someone who could be independent. And independent people didn't wear drug injecting collars or were addicted to an affini’s wonderful presence. At that point she might just as well have stayed on class-J.
On an emotional level however, it felt utterly brutal. Her fingers traced the intricate patterns on the collar around her neck, finding it just as natural to be there as skin had been before, perhaps even a good deal more. Taking it off felt all sorts of wrong. The headphones were perhaps even worse, every instinct telling her that putting them on would be agony. Not as pain, but in the dull loneliness which had carved so many scars in her. It was nonsense, Echina would still be there to offer her comfort and company, it would just be without a mind altering component which was the product of an accident anyway.
Rosa wanted to put it off, to tell Echina she would do it all…tomorrow. Yet she knew that would only be a short road to domestication. With slightly shaky fingers she took the headphones and placed them on her head. At the same time, Echina removed the collar without making a sound. Staring at it for a few seconds before putting it back into her body. There was a slight:
Bzzz
And the headphones activated. “How are you feeling?” Echina was inspecting her closely, holding her closer yet.
She felt off balance, and as if someone had suddenly turned off the air conditioning which had been buzzing in the distance. Rosa hugged Echina close, feeling tears begin to run down her face. “I will be fine….Just don't leave…please?” She pleaded, utterly desperate.
Echina’s vines hugged every part of her, big arms pressing her into the affini’s chest. “Never my dear, I will never leave.” A few wilted petals landed on Rosa’s hair as they both held each other close, preparing for the coming struggle.
Chapter 17: Decisions at the Domestication Center
Chapter Text
–Centhia, North New Bergen, Domestication Center 4C, 17.05.2555, 13:03–
“It is very nice to see you back in my office.” The xenopsychologist stated warmly, his bark-made face smiling. “I expected you much sooner, but I understand you were allowed a bit of a break from appointments.” There was a playful and knowing look in his eyes.
Rosa, already feeling a little flustered, just nodded. “Yeah…I'm sorry about how the last session went…and how I stormed out.” It had not been one of her more graceful moments, that's for sure.
“It is okay Rosa…” For a moment it looked as if he was about to apologize but cut himself off. “And I want you to know that I don't blame you for what happened last time. It would have been better to wait before trying traditional therapy.” Read: Because you can't be trusted to go through a single session without ruining everything.
Rosa could feel the shame running down her back. “I will admit I want to apologize profusely about everything…But Echina has told me I'm not allowed to…so…yeah.”
He chuckled a little. “I heard she has been keeping you on a short leash since then, pardon the wordplay. If you will allow me, I do think you seem much better now. A short vacation can sometimes be just what one needs.” Vacation...that was certainly a word one could use to describe her two-week long class-J high. “Seeing as I did recommend it to both of you, I am curious about how you feel it has affected you.”
Rosa blushed a little, breaking eye contact to attempt to compose herself. “It was nice…and I think I am doing better? It certainly feels more natural to have Echina help me now that she has been doing it for over half a month.” So really you are just wasting everyone's time by stretching this out.
“That makes me very happy to hear. So, what is it that you want to talk about today?” Quercus asked, allowing her to set the premise of the session.
Rosa slumped down a little in the chair. All the viable options were not tempting to talk about in the slightest, but if she tried to make up something he would know in an instant. It was also a fact that this was exactly the sort of fear she was supposed to overcome. “Well…” Best to just choose something. “There is one thing I just can't seem to make sense of.”
“Just one?” The affini joked, pushing his glasses up his thin branch of a nose.
Rosa blushed a little and pushed on before she could regret it. “Before the Compact took over, I did most of what I did because it was necessary. Either for my survival, for that of my friends and making the world a bit of a better place…or just stopping it from getting worse” She could do this. ”And it was hard, and I am glad those stakes are no longer there…but I still want to help people and do what I can to make the world better. You know?”
Quercus smiled and nodded. “I do, but I am also sensing a ‘but’ coming. It's okay, you can speak your mind.”
Rosa straightened up. “But ever since you arrived I have never stopped hearing that I should stop.” Despite her effort to stay composed, some of that frustration and anger was beginning to show. “Always telling me I need to ask for help or slow down or relax and take a break and…That is just not who I am! At the same time, I see so many problems that you affini are working day in and day out trying to solve…How is that fair?”
The xenopsychologist didn't answer immediately, instead maintaining eye contact and a calm demeanor. Then, just before the silence would become patronizing he began to talk. “That frustration is natural and very understandable. Might I ask why you think we do that?”
Rosa massaged her temple, stifling a groan. “Because you want what's best for me?”
Quercus smiled. “That is what most affini would tell you, but I did ask what you thought our reasoning was.” Fuck… “What does it feel like we are telling you?”
“I…That I can't ever measure up to any of you…That I would just be in the way and…and that you think I would be much better off as a floret.” It felt so petty when putting it into words.
“I can understand that.” He chuckled, though noticeably at her descriptions rather than at her. “We affini can sometimes be a bit…inelegant when it comes to certain matters of profession and capabilities. Call it a lack of humility, but then again the universe seldom teaches us lessons in that.”
That made Rosa a bit surprised, she had hardly expected him to agree with her. “I…I just want to help…Is that so bad?”
Quercus reached out a vine for her to hold. “Not at all, and in the world you lived in that impulse was a great thing. But we both know it came at a cost, a cost you became very used to.” After a second she grabbed hold of it.
Rosa slumped down a little in the chair again. “It has always been worth it, and that hasn't changed. A-and people still need help, you can't tell me there is nothing I can do to help when there is so much confusion out there.”
“What about when that confusion is gone? What happens when we get everything in order? For you that might have been a dream that existed so far into the future you could be safe you would die before you would have to answer. For us now, it could be within the year's end. It is a question you will have to answer, the sooner the better.”
Rosa almost wanted to be angry with him for just how elegantly he was steering her toward reflecting without giving her any moral chances to be indignant and run away. “I don't know…I'm so used to…to that weight. I fought so much to be what I am today, to be what people needed me to be…What I needed me to be. Am I just supposed to become something else?” And now she was crying…of course. They definitely won't think you should be a floret after this.
Quercus tilted his head and leaned back, the opposite of what Rosa had expected him to do. “We all change, and I can promise you that you are quite different than when I first met you. The woman I met then had been run ragged, her eyes scanning the environment for threats and jumping at the slightest disturbance. You were here mostly on behalf of others, trying to make sure that it would be safe for them to visit. There was so much suspicion in your eyes, so much hurt, desperation and determination. I was both very impressed…and terribly sad.”
She remembered that day faintly, when all the tension had passed and everything began to change so fast. “I wasn't in a good place back then…” Part of her was proud of it… “Why didn't you domesticate me?” With the description he had given it was a miracle she hadn't been collared immediately.
A flash of shame passed over the xenopsychologist's face. “We… didn’t have enough people here yet. Things were so strained in the beginning and…and you showed marks of improvement over the next couple of months. Maybe I made a mistake, and if I did I am truly sorry. But the reason you are here is because both I and Echina believe you have the strength to determine how you will change.” Somehow that hurt to hear, the idea that all of her struggle over the last eight months could have been taken away had she only been a little less resilient. Still, if she had been domesticated then she would never have met Echina. And it was not like she wanted to be domesticated either.
Rosa sighed, drying her cheeks. “How am I supposed to do that? I'm not sure where to even begin.” Changing was easier said than done.
“That is a good question. Perhaps it is best to start at the beginning. What is the most important part of you right now? What is it that makes what you do feel right?”
She thought a bit about it. What had made her tire herself out for the movement week after week? “A sense of purpose I suppose; Doing something that is more important than just myself…helping others?” It sounded frightfully basic put that way. “I…I want to know that what I do is going to make a positive impact. That…that what I do matters.” Because you know that ultimately, you don't.
Quercus sounded genuinely proud. “Well done Rosa. Now, try to imagine what you could do which would give you that feeling.”
Entering the political debate and fixing her mistakes jumped to the forefront of her mind. She tried to press past it, but like a stubborn itch it refused to be ignored. “It's difficult…I know there are options but none of them feel like they are for me.” Fuck, she was never going to pass this evaluation. “I'm hopeless…aren't I?”
The vine in her hand gave her a little squeeze. “Not at all Rosa, you have made tons of progress already. Finding an answer that feels right is going to take time, and you should let yourself take all the time you need.” He smiled knowingly, and a bit teasingly. “You will probably not find the right answer before your wardship is over, and that is okay. What matters is that you try.” Was she that easy to read?
He leaned a little closer, pushing up the fake glasses once more. “There is one last thing I want to talk to you about before we end our session for today.” Right… “I can see you know what I mean. Have you thought about it?”
What did he mean ‘have you thought about it’?? Of course she had thought about the idea of the affini going into her mind and tearing out her self-loathing. “I…” How was she even supposed to start? On one side it was probably required for her to remain independent, on the other who knew how far the affini would go?
Quercus silently wrapped another vine around her arm in reassurance. “I know you all want the best for me…and I know that a lot of the thoughts I have aren't exactly healthy.” Rosa flinched a little remembering her meltdown in the alleyway. “But…I have always prided myself on my ability to improve myself, to grow as a person. How can I do that without being self-critical? Where does the line go between self-loathing and healthy self-critique? How many thoughts will you take away? I…I…I'm afraid.” She was trembling now, like a phone line in a storm.
“It is going to be okay dear, and I promise you that we won't take away anything of your wonderfully brilliant mind. Just because the pain is familiar doesn't mean that it is actually helping you. You deserve to live without that internal harassment, and that is all that the procedure will do.”
Rosa nodded quietly. “I-I just want to make sure I don't make more mistakes. I have already hurt Echina so many times and-”
That Quercus did not allow her to finish. “Rosa. You being harassed and shot is not your fault. Those types of statements I will not allow in my office. If anything, the fact you feel guilty for something entirely out of your control is a good example of how it is misleading you.” He was unusually firm now, keeping her still with an iron stare. “Understand?”
Rosa squirmed. “Even if that is true, what about what I said during the movement meeting? Or Me cutting her and everyone else off and isolating myself? Not to mention what I said in that alleyway! I know all of that hurt her, and Kevin and so many more. Am I not supposed to feel guilty over that?!” You know what you did, why else would she be so protective of you?
Quercus rose from his chair, suddenly towering over her with imposing might. His eyes glared as he leaned down, pushing into her space. “ The part of you that did that, those scars and wounds…It is exactly what we are going to help you get rid of. ”
“I should have handled it myself!” It was utterly foolhardy but somehow Rosa did not let herself get cowed.
The affini filled her entire vision. “ That is not your choice to make, and it never should have been. Had you been my floret I would have ripped it out root and stem without hesitation!… ” The affini deflated a little. “We are not trying to harm you, Rosa…We are trying to help you. Please understand.” Quercus collapsed back into his chair.
Rosa blinked, slowly feeling her body unclench itself. “I…I know…I'm sorry.”
Quercus's form had gone back to normal, contracting to a sparse 4 meter in height. “I'm sorry Rosa…I hope you can accept my apology for that outburst. It's just…that such a wonderful thing should think such horrible thoughts about herself…it is aggravating in a way I can't describe.” That meant he had heard or at least been told of her little speech in the alleyway. The one that had transformed Echina into a 12 meter tall monstrosity. She really was an embarrassment.
Rosa composed herself. “I'm afraid that if you find something we haven't talked about. Something that might be hurting me. You might remove it without asking me first…and knowing how…” She skipped over a few of the usual descriptions. “Troubled I can be…That likelihood is higher than I am comfortable with.” Echina deserves someone better than you, you don't even trust her.
Quercus searched the moss on his chin for a few seconds. “I understand that Rosa, and I promise you we will do our utmost to make as few changes as possible. In all likelihood you will still be perfectly able to critique your own actions, just without the emotional burdens which cause you so much pain. From what I have seen the thoughts you have separated from those burdens are far more insightful than those that blame you for everything wrong in the galaxy.” That…Rosa hoped that was true.
“That…I think that makes me feel a little better. I wish I trusted you all more, because it's not like you have done anything to deserve my suspicion. It's just…difficult.” She let out a gust of air, trying her best to keep her breathing even.
Quercus extended a vine which began petting her, slowly easing her mind into a more relaxed state. “You are doing very well, Rosa. We all know this isn't easy for you, which is why we are so proud of you making this effort.”
Rosa leaned into the pets a little. “I know…Thank you for the session.”
“Awwwww, so cute…” He adored her for a few seconds before retreating his vines and standing up. At the door he produced a lollipop from his hand, offering it out to her. Rosa hesitated, uncertainty filling her body for a moment.
Quercus chuckled at her indecision. “Rather than trying to analyze what I want you to do, how your action will make me perceive you or even if I will accept your answer. Try just being honest about your wants, it is much easier.”
She stared at the lollipop for a couple of seconds before taking it. “Thank you…” Honestly, that didn't sound like such a bad strategy. Honesty…what a funny idea.
–Centhia, North New Bergen, Domestication Center 4C, 17.05.2555, 13:19–
Myrtaca had her elbows planted on the desk, leaning her head on her hands with a playful look on her face. <So someone has had a nice couple of weeks~>
Echina shrugged, failing to keep the smile of her lips or her flowers from blooming. <Yes…maybe…Is that what I am here to report?> She countered, giving the welfare officer a sly grin.
<Somehow i doubt your recounting of the past 18 days will have a single instance where Rosa isn't mentioned, so we can frame it like that if you want. How is the little firebrand doing?> That…that was probably true.
Echina let her pride and joy show, abandoning any pretenses of professionalism. <She has been just the most wonderful little thing! The way she has adapted to being taken care of is just utterly adorable, she even likes being petted! By the Everbloom she loves it! And belly rubs and being fed treats and being massaged and cuddles and->
Myrtaca giggled, intertwining a couple of vines with Echina’s wiggling ones. <Oh dear me, I don't know if we have time for you to list all of the aspects of Rosa that make you swoon.” Rude… “Rosa on class-J is one thing, how is she doing now that she is off them?>
Right…she did have a job to do. <Keeping her on class-J for that long wasn't exactly the plan but she is so much more relaxed now. She is still on a xenodrug regimen, but as she is no longer fighting the effects we have been gradually reducing it in accordance to her wishes of sobriety. Even without them Rosa is much better at accepting help, allowing herself to be cherished, and has so far yet to have any more outbursts. While there is the odd self loathing thought once in a while she has agreed to an in depth hypnosis session to have them removed. On the whole, I would describe her as having made great progress.> Stars, she was proud of her little terran.
<You both deserve applause, it is quite the magnificent turn around. I met her in the hallway before her therapy session and I couldn't help but notice that you had her hair colored and styled…should I take that as a notice of intent?> Her friend raised a teasing eyebrow.
Echina felt her vines wiggle a little in embarrassment. <That-That was an accident…but not one that she has complained about.> Which totally makes it fine that everything about it screams that you have claimed her. <She still wants to try to be independent…and that is what I want to help her become, if it is at all defensible.> Who do you think you are fooling?
Myrtaca didn't look wholly surprised, but perhaps just a little concerned. <As her caretaker, that is up to your judgment. With the progress she has made and her newfound cooperation, I can see it being possible if there is no more backsliding. The more important question is if you think it will be the right move.> How could she not doubt your abilities after all the mistakes you have made.
<I do. Rosa finds a great deal of enrichment in forging her own path and while she needs to accept she can't be doing that alone, it wouldn't be wise to take it away from her without a better alternative. I believe she has what is needed to be independent, and more importantly that it is the best for her to have that agency so long as it is well controlled.>
<I must ask…both as a welfare officer and your friend, why did you decide not to domesticate her after she tried to go home? Your current reasoning blooms on its merits but Rosa has been given many more chances than the average terran who visits this center. Domestication never ends badly, you know that…> The concern in Myrtaca's biorhythm was showing more and more.
Echina sighed, giving some of Myrtaca's vines a little squeeze. <She has such a powerful drive…and she has fought so hard to be who she is up till this point, far before we ever arrived. I… I suppose I want to give her the opportunity not to lose that. I respect her a lot and domesticating her just because I know it would work would be a betrayal of that respect.> She had practiced these arguments and yet they all fell flat as soon as she said them. <And…and I love her…so much. How could I ever hurt her like that?>
Their vines intermingled further, tying loose knots. <I know love, that fact has been very obvious for a very long time…> Her friend hesitated, a bit of tension entering her biorhythm. <I have to admit I am less worried about Rosa than I am for you. She is strong and has faced worse than this many times before, even if this is unique. Worst case she will be a happy floret, safe in your vines. For you however…I am not sure you realize what independence will mean.> Echina’s vines stiffened in surprise.
<It means she won't need to stay with you. She might decide to travel to another planet, will you follow her then?> The prospect sounded absurd…and horrifying. <Would you be okay with her choosing to become a floret to someone else? Or to not have time to see you? We both know that emotionally speaking she might as well be your floret…and losing her, in whatever form that might be…I don't want you to go through that pain unprepared.>
Echina pulled her vines back, a sudden feeling of dread overwhelming her. <…Rosa has given no indication she wants to go somewhere else, and she has specifically told me that she could only ever imagine being my floret. Why…why would you make up scenarios like that?>
<Echina…I…It won't happen now but in as little as five or ten years it isn't unlikely at all that she changes in ways you can neither predict nor control. Even in the immediate sense, how do you think you will handle her moving out of your hab?> Myrtaca's worry was now all out in the open.
<So what? Am I supposed to domesticate her for my own good? That…that is not what we do.> Echina was angry now, and she knew it was because what Myrtaca said scared her. She didn't want to think about it, not even for a moment.
<Your welfare is also important, Echina. Have you talked with Rosa about this?>
Echina shuddered at the thought. <Rosa needs to focus on her own problems for once.> If Rosa heard she might very well decide it was her responsibility to fix, she could not let that happen. <I am going to be fine. I promise.> Stretching out a vine they intertwined then again, and the tension ebbed.
<Can you at least promise me you will have a few more sessions with Clematis. She has told me you haven't visited her since Rosa had her outburst and it would make me far less worried just knowing that you were talking to someone about it.> Myrtaca sounded almost a little guilty…
She had talked her into being Rosa’s ward…had Myrtaca expected her to domesticate Rosa? It didn't sound that outlandish…and Echina found she wasn’t quite sure how she felt about it. Setting friends up with florets was hardly something she would have found strange before planting roots on Centhia…before meeting Rosa.
The fact that Rosa’s critique of the compact had been more accurate than she had given it credit for at the time stung a little. <I will, but my first priority will be making sure Rosa has all the help she needs in the coming weeks.> That didn't sound unreasonable.
Myrtaca nodded, giving Echina’s vines a squeeze before pulling back her own. <Thank you, and remember that I am here for the both of you. No matter what happens.>
They ended their conversation with a few bureaucratic formalities about Rosa’s health and situation. By the end, Echina couldn’t help but feel optimistic for her terran. The hypnotic rehabilitation just a couple of days into the future was a little nerve-wracking but she and Rosa would get through it together. After that…after that it would probably be easier. What Myrtaca had said still pricked at her core, but she would handle it for Rosa’s sake.
Two knocks sounded from the door, their origin point indicating a certain terran was done with her therapy session. Echina’s troubled emotions evaporated in an instant as she let Rosa in, lifting her up and giving her a big kiss on her forehead before she had time to speak.
“Echinaaa!” Rosa whined a little, a blush on her adorable face. “...If you are going to hold me like that you might as well start petting me as well. I am not enduring the humiliation without at least getting something out of it.” She pouted slyly, cleverly making it seem like she was setting down the rules.
Echina let her get away with it, rewarding her terran with a tiny dose of class-A through her wardship bracelets and beginning to pet her. “Awwwwwww, did you have a nice session with Quercus?”
Rosa nodded absent-mindedly, pressing into the vines and hands petting her. “Yeah…mmmmm, just a bit further up please…aaaahhhhhh.” She let out a delighted sigh, nuzzling into her vines and getting comfortable.
Myrtaca has so far just admired the show, now she stood and walked over to them. “You look good Rosa. It makes me very happy to see how well you are doing.” She offered a few pets in the form of a hesitant hand.
Rosa gave Echina a look to stop the pets for a second. “I…I am doing a lot better, thank you. And yes, you can pet me.” Her terran lowered her head as a signal of permission.
Myrtaca and Echina shared an adoring look as they both began petting the terran. <I am proud of you Echina.> Myrtaca whispered so low Rosa had no chance of hearing. <You have done a very good job with her.>
Echina had to admit that did make her proud to hear. <Thank you, though don't forget to be proud of her as well.> She gestured to her terran who was shamelessly enjoying the pets.
Rosa put a hand up. “I think that is enough. Echina, could you put me down please?” So well mannered~ She put her terran down and made sure to slip a little treat into the pocket of her jacket. “Thank you.” Rosa turned to face Myrtaca, only a slight blush on her face. “I hope you and Echina had a nice chat about my imminent fate…and I want to say thank you for giving me another chance. I know it is far from a given, but I really appreciate it.” The adorable little thing even did a little bow, her tone nothing but respectful.
Myrtaca was a talented welfare officer who had enough experience with Centhian terrans to not be taken in by the first performance she saw, and even she could not resist Rosa’s immaculate and adorable charm. “Thank you Rosa.” Her friend leaned down to be on Rosa’s level. “Your recovery is going well and on a less serious note, I am glad being on class-J hasn't shaved down any of your entertaining sharpness.”
Rosa smiled slyly back. “Oh really? Aren't you disappointed I haven't chosen to fold and give up?” Bold…and perhaps beginning to push it. Echina looped a vine around her ward's leg, a gentle reminder to be civil.
Myrtaca giggled, patting the terran on the head. “Not at all, though you are always free to change your mind. Speaking of, I am a little surprised you have agreed to mnemonic treatment.”
Echina stifled a shiver. “Right…We should probably talk about that.” Delving so deep into Rosa’s memories…Part of her was scared of what she would find, and how it would make her react.
“Yes, we should. Are you familiar with mnemonic landmarking?” Myrtaca asked as she sat down behind her desk.
Echina helped Rosa up to her chair and sat down next to her, keeping a vine available in case her terran needed something to hold. “Not much…It is one of the creepier things i read about while studying how you…treated client xeno species like us. From what I gathered…it is kind of like memory rewriting?” Rosa grabbed the vine and Echina made a note of keeping careful track of her heartbeat. If Rosa got too scared or stressed she could end the conversation and have her nice and relaxed in her vines within a second.
“Not exactly, but not entirely wrong either. The type of mnemonic landmarking we will be using in this case is facilitated by the Pod. It is a device that will stimulate the areas of your mind we want to explore, in this case your self-loathing. The Pod, in concert with a special mix of xenodrugs will make you enter a vivid dream-like state, and simulate events closely related to where those emotions and thought patterns are drawn from.” Myrtaca held an even tone, closely observing Rosa’s reaction.
“So you will make me relieve my trauma that you believe has caused me to think like this?” Rosa sounded both scared and unconvinced.
“It won't make you relive events in your life just as they happened, but it will probably draw on your memories for the simulation. It would be more accurate to say that you will relive what you feel you remember. Though that is again secondary to finding out why self-loathing is so hardly ingrained into your mind.” The more Myrtaca explained, the further Rosa’s heartbeat rose.
“And then what? What will you do when…When you find out why ?” Rosa asked, her fear evident despite her efforts to hide it.
Myrtaca gave Echina a concerned look before answering. “That depends on the nature of the issue. With any luck we can simply give you a little nudge to resolve the internal conflict.”
“And if we're not lucky?” Rosa was clenching the vine in her hand hard.
“Then we will have to make more thorough changes. Either way, you will wake up different and need to spend a week here at the clinic recovering. This isn't a quick fix or non-invasive, it is much closer to surgery for your mind than anything else.”
“...What other option do I have?” Echina held Rosa close, having not even noticed how many vines she had moved over to hold her scared little terran.
Myrtaca tilted her head a little. “From the reports Echina have given me, you were able to operate without the self-loathing when on a substantial enough dosage of xenodrugs. You could always restart that regimen.”
Rosa almost whimpered. “I can't be independent like that…” She concluded correctly with some dread.
Echina gave Rosa a squeeze. “Dear, it is going to be okay. No matter what you choose.” Part of her wanted Rosa to just give in, to submit to her vines and become hers in every way.
Myrtaca nodded in agreement. “Domestication would not mean everything would change. You could still do most of what you want to do, and probably even more you couldn't before. Domestication didn't stop Kevin from attending that debate or organizing the red dawn movement, and it hasn't stopped Veronica from pursuing her love of History.” The words hit hard, Rosa’s face going still as she heard Veronica's name.
The resolve in Rosa’s eyes faltered, heavy shadows of doubt setting in instead. “I…”
Myrtaca didn't let up. “You will be happy as Echina’s floret, we both know that is true. If not for her insistence we wouldn't even be having this discussion, you would be happy already.” This was going too far.
Echina sheltered her terran. <Myrtaca, that is enough. There is no need to pressure her like this.>
Myrtaca frowned, keeping eye contact with Rosa. “Yes, there is. She needs to be sure that she is not allowing pride, guilt or misconception to stand in the way of her own happiness and wellbeing. I need to be sure that this procedure, which can be solved by either xenodrugs or an implant, is actually necessary.”
Rosa had almost automatically retreated into herself and the guarding vines. “So…so either I let you change me…or I let you change me? That isn't much of a choice.”
“You do need to change Rosa, there is no choice when it comes to that. I can understand that it's scary, that it might even feel wrong. But preventing that change is what's stopping you from being happy, that we cannot tolerate.” A stack of papers were placed on the table, a hefty document Echina knew all too well. “Sign here and you won't need to struggle or make any more painful choices. It won't harm anyone, it won't be an abandonment of your duties, you will never regret it.” A pen was placed in front of Rosa, then guided to her hand by Myrtaca's vines.
Rosa was frozen, staring down at the document for what felt like an eternity. Echina found herself taught like a wire, waiting with endless tension in her form for what Rosa would choose. Maybe she should have stopped it, but Myrtaca did have a point…and Rosa was so close to being hers.
With a trembling hand, Rosa put the pen down. “I don't want to.” She answered, her voice empty of guilt or defiance. “Until you tell me there is no other choice, I won't sign.”
Myrtaca took the pen and shoved the domestication contract aside. “Very well. Then I expect to see you both here in two days. Make sure to rest until then.” Her friend didn't exactly sound irritated, just a bit miffed. “And Echina, I think your ward has deserved a little treat.” The welfare officer shot her a slight smile.
Echina nodded, still a bit shocked at Myrtaca's behavior. “I think so too.” Lifting Rosa, she cradled the terran in her arms. There was a desperate urge to remove the headphones and drown out Rosa’s anxiety with her biorhythm, but through rigorous self-control she kept it at bay. <Are you sure it was necessary to push her like that?>
Myrtaca had deflated a little. <Yes, but that doesn’t mean i like it. Maybe we can talk about it later.>
Echina noticed Rosa wasn't exactly being calmed by being left out of the conversation. <let's.> “See you soon.” Holding her ward she left the office, pressing the terran close to her chest as she stepped into the elevator.
Rosa’s heartbeat was going down, and she snuggled to get comfortable in the vines instead of squirming to get out of them. “Do you think I made the right choice?” Her ward's voice still trembled.
Echina stifled a wince. It wasn't fair, Rosa should never have needed to ask such a question. Maybe Myrtaca was right…and then again, maybe Rosa was. “I think so, love. Let's get you some ice cream and we can talk about it more.” And what when you can't be there to calm her? What when she is independent and rejects you like she did before? Will her choice have been right then? Did you choose right? We both know you didn't.
Rosa leaned into her vines, gently nuzzling her arm. “That sounds nice, thanks Echina. For everything.” The doubt was silenced in an instant of beholding Rosa’s adorable expression as she looked up at her. No, whatever choices had led her to this moment had been entirely correct.
Notes:
I hope you all are prepared for the next chapter, it will be a doozy
Chapter 18: The Pod
Notes:
CW: Violence, Protests, Dystopian world, Panic attack, Allusions to futility
This one is going to be a rough one, but very proud of how it turned out. Hope you all enjoy, and please leave your thoughts in the comments. They fuel my creative soul <3
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
–Centhia, North New Bergen, Stuklov Street, 25.04.2555, 13:15–
Rosa was doing her best to stay calm. Yes, the affini were about to rummage around in her mind. Yes, they would certainly change something about her in ways she had no way of stopping. And yes, it was very possible they would change quite a lot about her mind before she woke up. So…Yeah, she had every right to be fucking terrified. The only thing keeping her from running in the completely opposite direction of the domestication center and hiding in a hole somewhere was Echina, gently holding her hand.
It was annoying not to be able to feel her biorhythm, but her presence still made her feel safe. Something told her that no matter what happened, it would be okay so long as Echina was with her. Something else told her that the affini was going to scramble her brain into nothing but a happy mush that would gladly sign the domestication contract…if she could still write. It wasn't very likely…but the fact it was even close to a possibility was horrifying.
Another fear was just what the affini, and especially Echina, would find in her mind. Would they see all her mistakes, all of her failures? Would Echina even respect her afterward?
Either way, there was nothing she could do about it now. Short of signing the contract, this was going to happen. What a terrible set of options. Maybe she should have signed it? Just gotten it over with and become Echina’s floret…Somehow that just didn't feel right. Not after all she and Echina had gone through.
The domestication center emerged from behind one of the old brutalist buildings, a chilly autumn wind blowing through the trees in the park outside. “Rosa?” Echina looked down at her, concern and nervousness present in her beautiful voice.
Rosa noticed she had stopped dead in her tracks. With a push of willpower, she forced herself to keep moving. “Sorry…just a bit nervous.” An understatement for the history books.
Echina pet her on the head and some of the fear melted away. “It's okay dear, I understand. Do you want me to carry you?” The leaves and flowers on the affini’s form tossed and shifted under the force of the wind.
Her first impulse was to say no, it was only a few hundred meters, and inconveniencing Echina would be wrong. Then she remembered Quercus's words a few days ago and changed her mind. “That would be nice.”
Immediately she was wrapped up in vines and lifted into Echina’s arms. The affini smiled. “Thank you, Good girl~” The fear and concern in her voice were banished.
Rosa shivered with pleasure as she heard the words, realizing only a moment later that no click or rush of xenodrugs had made themselves known to drown her in pleasure. Had…had she been so easily conditioned? Her face went beet red and she hid in the vines.
A second later Echina began to laugh, a wonderful sound that Rosa found herself lost in within a split moment. “Stars, you are cute!” Mercifully, she did not use the phrase again. Even so, Rosa was too focused on her flushed face and embarrassment to worry much more until the doors of the domestication center closed behind them and her fate was truly sealed.
When the realization set in, they both grew quiet. The elevator felt horribly slow, and as it went down Rosa couldn't help but feel a sense of wrongness about it not going up as usual. The doors opened and a clean white corridor awaited them, not a single door in sight.
Stepping into the corridor, the elegant mess of bark and moss that was Quercus appeared from a previously obscured doorway. “Good morning, right this way.” Ever reassuring, his smile made it at least seem possible that this was going to be okay.
Possessively tightening her already firm grip on Rosa, Echina followed the xenopsychologist into a large room. At its center was The Pod. Sleek, with a dark transparent lid, it actually looked quite comfortable. All the other medical technology made by the affini usually made concentrated efforts to look soft and cozy…This exception was nothing short of menacing. The technological components were mostly invisible as far as Rosa could see, only a few vine-like tendrils towards the headrest indicated it was anything more than a strange pod-like bed.
“Good morning~” In an unexpected turn, it was Helian, her vet...xenomedical professional. Rosa cringed at her own use of the condensing title of vet. Good no one had heard her make that mistake verbally.
“Aren’t you the coziest little sunshine~” She cooed, her yellow petals and flowers swaying back and forth. “Can I pet you?”
“Yes, you can.” Rosa conceded, her focus still on the pod the affini were about to use to rewire her mind. “Do I need to wait long?” Hopefully not, her nerves were wrecked already.
Helian leaned down and petted her, seeming to take great joy from it. “Not at all little one, we are very soon ready.” In an ‘amazing’ twist, the desired answer just moved her anxiety from its hesitant form and into the immediate. I f this does change you completely, which let us be honest, it will. Wouldn’t that just be for the best?
A shifting of vines brought her eyes up to Echina’s. “It's going to be okay, love. Focus on breathing slowly and this will all be over soon." Even with the mechanical distortion, Rosa could feel how her body relaxed before her mind got the memo. She was okay, Echina would keep her safe.
Myrtaca’s voice broke through the comfort. “Everything is prepared and the pod is primed. Rosa, are you ready?” Oh, she was here as well…how funny. It was almost like all of the affini responsible for her wellbeing in some form or another were present… In case something either goes wrong, or right.
She shook her head, trying to maintain a stoic façade. “I’m ready…Will it hurt?”
Quercus opened the pod with his vines, giving her a reassuring smile as he did so. “It will not be a pleasant experience, and you will probably experience physical pain as well as emotional pain. We will do our best to lessen that which is superfluous to the procedure, but we can’t be as protective as we usually like. This will be rough.” His bluntness was almost refreshing.
“Just remember that when it is done, we will be here to take care of you. Think of it as a momentary prick in the arm.” Helian added reassuringly, giving her one last headpat before pulling back and giving Echina free passage.
Echina carried her over to the pod, giving her one last squeeze. They were both scared, and both trying to hide it. “I will be fine.” Rosa hugged back, adoring her affini one last time before the vines lowered her down into the pod.
“I know.” Echina said, a sad smile on her face. Her vines attached a few electrode-looking pads to her forehead and skin. “See you soon.” Then the lid of the pod closed, and everything became dark.
“This is Helian. Please get comfortable and start breathing slowly, there is nothing else you need to do.” Okay…breathe and get comfortable. She was good at doing at least one of those things…at least most of the time. Luckily her body hardly had a choice in the matter as it started to relax all on its own, probably xenodrugs. The air did taste and smell strangely so that confirmed that hypothesis.
So….she just needed to wait?... You haven’t considered the fact they might have been lying to you from the start? Maybe all this machine will do is melt your brain so much that you have to be a floret? Maybe they just got sick of all your shit. Okay…no. That felt reasonable but she also knew it wasn’t. If the affini wanted to do that then Echina could just have kept her on class-J, and the affini didn’t lie. Right, not even to people who are about to have their mind melted? That…
That…
That…
What? What had she been thinking about?
Rosa opened her eyes, blinking as the harsh neon lights from the signs on the surrounding buildings blinded her. Something felt off…but she couldn’t quite place why. She was standing in Silveredge Street, only a few minutes from her apartment block. Dirty rain was pouring down from the smog filled sky, a thousand umbrellas pattering as the raindrops hit them. Looking behind her she saw no one that she recognized, no sign of anyone following her either. You need to get moving!
Right, she had work to do.
Pressing through the masses of exhausted people she was again struck with a sense of wrongness. Had people always looked so pale and tired? Had the sky always been so dark…Why didn’t she have any stubble? The first two questions answered themselves, of course that was how it had always been. New Bergen hadn’t seen sun in over a century…and maybe she had shaved before leaving home ? Pointless questions, get moving!
She pushed forward, trying her best to ignore the choking, oppressing feeling all around her. It was always like this in the morning rush. The tall oppressive buildings in brutalist concrete, the glaring neon signs, the shuffling masses. All pressing in, all pushing down.
Time quickly lost meaning, street after street passing beneath her feet. Everything turned to a blur, and then suddenly stopped into a clear image. The entrance to a basement, hidden past a tiny gap between two buildings…she couldn’t quite remember squeezing through it…Rosa shook her head and knocked on the door.
A slit was opened and then the door followed suit. The staircase down was an abyss, voices softly trailing up as she made her way down. Once a storage for the Governor’s underground rail construction, it now served a much more noble purpose: Hosting the headquarters of the student resistance movement. After an eternity in the dark she emerged in the vast common room where people were hanging out and discussing, and a bit further ahead she found the room dedicated to her organization: The red dawn movement.
It was rather spacious, but right now it felt anything but. Documents with vital information were mixed around with the useless kinds. Pamphlets and posters were still not taken out of the printing machine. Drafts for proclamations and meeting minutes were half finished and crumpled on the side of the desk. A complete mess; your mess. You need to get your shit together Rosa, this is not an acceptable way of running a movement. There are people depending on you.
Rosa swallowed and began tidying, trying to make a sense of the mess. Somehow it only seemed to grow, additional documents and material revealed where she had just put things into order. Sometimes she swore the minutes uncompleted themselves and the printing machine was in open rebellion. Sweat running down her brow, she was getting both tired and frustrated, why was she the only one here?
Because you failed to mobilize; Failed to convince them that this was important. It was right, she couldn’t blame the others. They all had important stuff to do, and no one could be expected to attend every meeting. They did their part, of that there was no doubt. She needed to stop dawdling and actually fix the underlying problems. How many times haven’t you said that? Think this time will be any different?
Pushing down her frustration she continued to work, drafting up new meeting summons and proclamations to be published through the underground network. Even as the work’s importance invigorated her, a heavy feeling was starting to weigh her down, slow her movements. You don’t think everyone feels this way? Come on, self-pity is not going to help anyone .
“Rosa!” Someone opened the door, concern in their voice. Another problem. “They are fighting again, can you please-“ They didn’t need to finish, Rosa was already on her feet and moving. This was not the first time this had happened. Because you haven’t made sure they sorted it out.
The common room was filled with people, two voices carrying over the rest. “Just admit it, you are trying to coup this entire movement!” Kevin was furious, his face red with anger…How did he look so…He hadn’t had access to hormones, did he? It matters little. Right.
“If more people in this movement prefer terran ideals over your centhian drivel then that is hardly my fault, now is it.” Not him… “My parents would kill me for associating with Marxists, but you don’t see me shouting in your face, now do you?” The terran’s arrogant tone scratched her ears like sandpaper.
Pushing into the middle, she divided the two squabbling men. “That is enough, from the both of you. We have one movement to organize. This infighting is just what the Governor wants us to do! Settle your issues during the next general assembly, not now!” The eyes of everyone had turned to her.
The terran smiled like only a spoiled rich terran could. “Thank you, it is good that at least one of you radicals have any sense.” He walked forward and pushed a finger into Kevin’s chest. “As for you, you duplicitous Centhian dyke. We terrans have just as much of a reason to be here as any of you natives. The Governor wants to take control of our academies as well.” The slick façade failed to hide the bruised pride and anger in his voice.
Kevin looked as if he was about to punch the bastard, something Rosa couldn’t exactly fault him for, though not something she could allow either. Once again pushed between them, giving Kevin a commanding look. “Let. It. Go. I cannot have you two fighting.” She whispered harshly before turning to the terran. “As for you…” He took an instinctive step back. “Call my comrade a dyke again and I will personally throw you and every other spoiled terran out of this basement.” Her voice was low and threatening. “Now, everyone go do what we are actually here to do!” Her gaze stared daggers into the crowd which slowly began to disperse.
When she and Kevin returned to the office she could tell he was angry. “Spoiled glass-living bastards! How could you defend him? Can’t you see how they are ruining everything?” Keep your cool, you can fix this. She could, if only her chest didn’t feel so heavy.
Rosa kept her composure, crossing her arms. “He was right about one thing, they do have a place in this movement. It is not because I like them, but because we need them. We are all fighting for one cause for once, if we split apart then nothing will be done…And we won’t allow them to do a coup, trust me.” Somehow her voice sounded hoarse, as if she had been speaking for hours without end. Push through it, it will get better when it has time to get better.
Kevin sighed, looking down on the unified platform she had drafted. The platform she had spent countless hours negotiating and compromising to make into reality. “I trust you…you know that. I just don’t know if the rest of our delegates will accept this…” If they don’t it is because you haven’t talked with enough of them. So much time wasted when all you needed was one or two conversations.
“Then you must make them accept this.” Rosa stared into the eyes of the head delegate from South New Bergen. “I fought tooth and nail to make the terrans agree to the public university clause. Are you seriously going to have to make me go back and tell them that it all fell through? Do you want them to have the most influence over the movement?” It had to go through, even if it meant she had to pull them all together against their will.
“And so what? Why do you think anyone will listen just because we get some dirt poor southerner’s to agree with us.” The terran scoffed, trying to look impressive in front of his two compatriots. You just have to keep them together, all of this will only work if you can keep the movement unified.
“It is only with a unified platform that we can have any chance of resisting the Governor’s attempt to take control of our universities. We might have our differences, but none of us want that man controlling what we will be allowed to learn or discuss.” Her voice carried over the delegates of the general assembly, hundreds of eyes staring back at her from behind their desks. There were over 140 universities in New Bergen, most of which had a group or five who had sent delegates here. It represented millions of students, one of the greatest student uprisings in at least eight decades.
“I implore you all to vote in favor and allow unity to strengthen us.” So many of the eyes were doubtful and suspicious. Some had reasonable doubts and problems with the platform, many had much the opposite. The difference mattered little. Hook, crook, and cleaver; The tools at her disposal.
“All in favor?” The faceless voice asked. The hands went up one by one…Rosa held her breath, the weight pressing down on her chest as seconds crawled back. “The votes in favor have a majority, the platform is ratified!”
What should have felt like relief instead made her feel even more exhausted. Still, she plastered on a smile and her most inspiring voice. “With this done we can finally do the job we are all here to do. It won't be easy, but we will win!” Claps filled the room, melding together into the sound of shouts and drums.
The demonstration was massive, the whole main street towards the central bureaucratic office complex filled with people. More and more spilled into it from connecting streets, joining the fervor of revolt. Signs and fists pumped into the air like waves, the banners held aloft looked like the sails on ancient terran ships.
Rosa realized she held a megaphone and shouted a slogan, the crowd repeated with anger and catharsis. There was a powerful might in the air, one that gave her strength and hope. So many people had to be able to do something! Rosa shouted again, her voice on the verge of breaking as it had been for days. The crowd should have responded like it always did, but instead a tense silence followed.
Rosa realized why as she pushed to the front. Lines upon lines of garrison enforcers, clad in their heavy gray armor. A wall of shields, shuttles and trucks forming barricades as the enforcers took up their position. It was a frightening sight, but at least none of them looked to be carrying guns…A small mercy.
Rosa climbed up on one of the barricades she and the other protestors had erected, feeling her body scream for rest. It was exhausted, several times almost slipping on the broken furniture and construction material. Days without proper rest, food or water…Each moment spent keeping the movement together and keeping an eye on the enforcers. It had been several days and they had yet to move an inch…What could they be planning? Her stomach didn’t like it, though that might just have been the hunger.
She looked up as the dark skies started peppering them all with the first rounds of this year’s hail. A cold chill and a moment of relative silence…It was almost sublime…Rosa stopped herself from dozing off, dragging her nails across her skin so the pain would wake her up. Sleep can come later, there are so many who depend on your efforts.
A song drifted up from the protestors, the cold winds howling just above them as the temperature continued to drop. She should have been freezing, but somehow the pain felt distant. “Rosa! They are approaching from the south!” It was Kevin, fear and desperation in his eyes. He needs to get to safety, you can handle this alone.
Handling her own panic she ran down from the barricade. “You get home, I will be fine.” Suddenly he was gone, as if the hail and raid had melted him into mist. Rosa didn’t have time to be confused as a sudden bang blew out her eardrums. Scrambling back and landing on the concrete, she watched as the great barricade tore itself apart.
For a second it was silent again, and then the garrison forces rushed through the breach. Hundreds of them, batons ready and gas masks on. White mist spread alongside them, giving the world a hellish contrast. Gray, white and dark; All rushing towards her people.
Thousands of protestors rushed to fill the gap, but they didn’t stand a chance. Disorganized and poorly armed, the police carved through the masses like a warm knife. Screams and shouts replaced the silence and the singing, sweat and blood mixing with the mist.
No! No. No! No! No! This could not be happening!
Rosa ran, limping as screams and shouts were drowned out by the stomping of armored boots. Maybe there was still a chance for her to fix this. The lines need to be held, you need to turn and fight. If not, the garrison will run you down and corner everyone. It will all be lost. You can’t allow that to happen!
Crushing her fear she turned, trying to call people to her with the megaphone. For a moment she thought it had worked as people started to move towards her, then she realized what was happening. Her dread and fear morphed into blackened terror. More garrison forces had appeared from behind them, pushing the protestors back into the main street. The escape routes were being sealed, the trap closing.
Something spherical flew through the air and landed at her feet. It exploded and white mist filled her lungs and eyes. It itched, it choked. Her eyes felt like someone had put them on fire. A water bottle was placed in her hand from where and she desperately poured its contents onto her face, trying to wash away the poison as she stumbled out of the mist. Something large and gray stood in her way, their entire body covered in armor, not even a face to betray something human underneath.
It raised its baton and brought it down. Rosa could only guard herself with her arm, it cracked painfully as the baton made contact. Somehow the pain felt distant…It should have been worse. Falling over she tried to scamper away, but the enforcer merely stepped forward, kicking her in the face. White dots filled her vision, and pain confused her. Something hard was pushed into her chest, something spiky extended and then light.. It glowed for the split of a moment and melting pain filled her body, forcing it to contort as the electricity shot through her. Then…
Then…she was in a cell. It was cold and empty, barely lit. You failed. Rosa felt the guilt fill her like no pain ever could. They relied on you, and you failed! How could she have let this happen?! So many have worked so much, and you failed them! Her nails dug into her arms as she held herself, shrinking into a ball.
It is completely unacceptable! It was…If she had just held more people together… If you had just worked a little harder… If she had just done what everyone expected her to do… What you were supposed to do!… How could she have been so selfish?… So stupid! So worthless…such a failure.
At least now she could get the punishment she deserved, rotting in prison was just as well.
The door of the cell opened with a shriek, a faceless and oppressive man stepping through. “Hello there, slept well I hope.” He was with the bureaucracy, the pitch black suit indicating as much. The badge on his collar marked him further…A servant of the Governor. “I am here to set you free.” What?
“You…are letting me go?” Rosa couldn’t believe it.
“Yes, why of course. You don’t think our great Governor would waste valuable labor and manpower, do you? No. He sees further than your petty temper tantrums and pitiful protests. Plus, these cells are meant for his enemies, we can’t have you taking up valuable space.” There was something so horrible about hearing him speak. It was as if all her efforts were nothing more than a temper tantrum.
His confidence was like a poison. “You do realize you never stood a chance, do you not? There was never any chance that a mere group of restless students could ever force the hand of the most powerful force in the sector.” No, that…that… It isn’t true. Don’t listen to him. “Oh, you didn’t know…I suppose the idealism of youth is quite the powerful force.” It all just lies, he wants you to give up hope.
“What…what happens now?” Rosa asked, her voice shivering.
The faceless man just smiled. “You will be released, and then you will continue to study so you can be valuable in the new world our great Governor is creating…Speaking of that,” His teeth were sharp and deadly. “The people of my department have noticed that you have potential. You want to see this world change, do you not? Then this is the best opportunity you will ever have. I can’t promise you the silly communist utopia that lives in your mind, but I can promise you that working with us is your only option to ever see anything change the way you want it to.”
You can never accept that. Stay strong! Fight back! Show him that this is far from over! Rosa took hold of the strength and pushed herself up, towering over the man who she now realized was relatively short. “I will never work for him or for you, and if you think that we will ever give up then you are due for a rude reminder.” If only she still had her gun on her.
“Pity.” The man’s disappointment was close to that one has when losing food on the ground. “We will give you a lifetime to reevaluate, our change will come no matter what. Eventually all resistance crumbles, in time all is subsumed. Goodbye.” The cell disappeared around her, and once again she was standing in the rain on Silveredge street. Dirty water had drenched her all the way to her bones, the neon lights still stung her eyes, and the masses still shambled past her. Just like it had been before…Nothing had changed at all.
Freezing, Rosa shambled exhaustedly to the hideout, squeezing feverishly past the crowds and using the walls for support when the alleys grew narrow. The door to the basement was unguarded and broken, the smell of cinders and ash drifting up from the open abyss. No…
Everything was burnt and destroyed. From the common room where discussions had run freely, to the assembly hall where strategy had been discussed. When Rosa reached the office of her movement, her beloved red dawn movement, she collapsed onto the ground. The whole room had been thoroughly searched, then scorched until nothing remained but broken furniture and ash. Non-legible documents, half burnt posters and stomped apart flyers were all that still proved this had been where she had given her all. Or did you?
She wanted to say that she had…but no, she hadn’t. She had made mistakes, forgotten stuff, said the wrong thing, made the wrong calls. You can do better, this can all be done better. She cried, but the tears were pressed out as the coldness turned to numbness. She just needed to do better…only then could change actually come.
For now she needed to make sure everyone else was okay. Then…when the moment presented herself she would fight again; Do what was required of her to be worthy of existence. Her expression hardened into a deep resolve…and then she realized this had all happened years in the past.
“Rosa…” Echina was standing in front of her, out of place in the burnt office but also the only real thing. “You should never have needed to go through this…and none of this was your fault.
“No…You don’t understand anything!” The determination had wrapped around her heart, keeping it together. “This has to have been my fault! Or would you like me to blame Kevin? The other protestors?”
The affini walked forward, her form phasing through the splintered half of a table. “Of course not, Rosa. That would still not make what happened your fault, you must see how unreasonable that is.”
“Unreasonable?!” She asked indignantly. “Tell me then, what was I supposed to do? Give up? Never tried in the first place?! It has to be my fault, or else there will never be any chance of it going differently. It will just be terrible and never change…No matter what.” How could they not understand? “I need it to matter…and if I didn’t even make enough mistakes to learn from, to change the movement for the better…then it was all just a waste. And I can’t accept that, not if I want to hope that the world can be better.”
“My love…I have seen how your actions matter. You inspire, you challenge, you make people grow and flourish. No, you should never have had this responsibility, but that does not change the fact that it did matter. Maybe not on the scale you wanted, but if not for you then less of the hope you cling to would exist.” Echina leaned down, smiling sadly.
You can’t listen to her, she is no better than the old regime. That wasn’t true! Echina loved her…and she loved her. “I…Don’t know if I can accept that…” And yet it was not enough for her to let go. “I failed Veronica, I failed Kevin, I failed you, I failed the movement…I have failed so many. That has to be my fault, and that means I have to get better.”
“…You are allowed to make mistakes, Rosa. You are allowed to disappoint, and you are always allowed to try your best. What you are not allowed to do, is to think that you are only worthy of love if you never fail.” As Echina spoke, Rosa noticed her mind starting to focus on them with a single minded focus. “Listen to me closely, dear.”
Echina stretched out a hand which gently cupped Rosa’s cheek. “You have been so strong and stalwart, my love. But now the need for that is over. You can let go of those burdens, of all that guilt and responsibility. The fighting is over, and you are allowed to live.” Her hand was so warm, a heat that pushed past her skin and bone; Into her mind.
“I…I don’t know if I know how.” She had said to let go…but it was so tightly wrapped around her, woven into her. “I can’t…”
The heat grew warmer, gentle fingers taking hold of the reins and chains that dug into her mind. “You can, just focus on my voice. Soon you will wake, and everything will be fine.”
It was beginning to sear, the binds so tightly attached resisting their removal. “But…What if people need me? What…if…” The heat began to pull, snapping thinner lines while others strained against Her force.
“Nothing will stop you from helping others, that is something we would never take away. What we will take away is that which gives you no choice, the time for self-sacrifice has long since passed. ” It had…? “Let go, Rosa. Everything is going to be fine.” It was so warm! Rosa tried to squirm, but Echina’s other hand held her tight.
Her mind felt like it was being torn into as Her force continued to fill it. “I can’t…I can’t let go…” She was too weak…
“That is okay, love. Just close your eyes.” Echina’s eyes were like powerful burning suns, full of glory and power…and love.
Rosa took a deep breath and smiled. “I love you.” And then she closed her eyes.
The force grew in strength, Her hand grabbing hold of her entire mind. With countless, burning fingers it grabbed the tattered yet determined binds and pulled. There was no resistance this time, the rains and chains burst into flame and were ripped away. Rosa’s mind felt slightly hollow as the heat enveloped it. “ There we go…Such a good girl~” Echina’s voice was so endlessly gentle. “Sleep well, my love. See you soon.”
The heat dissipated and the force filling her mind was gone. Rosa collapsed forward and into the darkness. The sweet smell of class-Z xenodrugs filled her nose before sleep took her.
Notes:
The Pod is a very underutleised affini invetion made by Sapphic Sounds
Yuu can read the story over here: https://readonlymind.com/@SapphicSounds/TalesfromThePodHeroofTerra/
Chapter 19: New beginnings: Diverging paths
Notes:
CW: Rejection sensetivity
Hope you all enjoy! Your comments on the last couple of chapters have been super nice. Thank you so much!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
–Centhia, North New Bergen, Domestication Center 4C, 28.05.2555, 17:13–
Rosa woke and felt light. Weight was not often the first thing she felt when waking up, but this sensation refused to be ignored. What was decidedly more difficult was figuring out in what way she was light. The impression was strong, but it was not like she was floating either. The more she thought about it, the stranger it became. Sure, it was nice…but that was hardly a good enough justification to not find out why.
Having grown frustrated by her own thoughts providing little information, Rosa decided to open her eyes. Blinking the sleep out of them, the room she was in slowly made itself clear. Comfy, safe, and cute. From the carpet on the floor to the decorations and the plushies in the bed, everything seemed carefully designed to capture those three descriptive words. Turning around in bed, she found that the room had a window. Outside the sun was slowly setting on New Bergen, its rays reflecting off the affini building and being absorbed by the Centhian ones.
She had never seen it from this perspective before, and it honestly looked quite beautiful. Even the tall brutalist structures that rose above the smaller building blocks below had their own majestic charm. From this height, it looked so neat and organized, as if someone had designed each district with intent and purpose. The only exception was the affini structures that rose like flowers and greenery from the gray sea. Yet even the chaos they invited melted together with the organized whole. It was so strange, as all she had ever seen of the city was from the ground, squeezed between the neat lines that were only visible from above.
Rosa couldn’t get herself to look away from the gray sea. It stretched out so far, and she knew that what she was seeing was only a small part. She identified the North Bergen Central Bureaucracy Headquarters as the big black obelisk hiding in the fog of the horizon. Based on that, she was only witness to a tenth of New Bergen, perhaps even less. Gray, gray, gray…for miles upon miles. A wave of melancholy was passing over her, and for once she found no reason to reject it.
Was this all that there was?
She had seen pictures and movies of other planets. Rolling green hills, white windswept mountains, crystal blue oceans, farmland valleys, and endless forests. There was so much diversity out there, so much to see…And on Centhia?
No, that was silly. Sure, Centhia didn’t have much to offer when it came to nature. Outside the cities you could choose between the icy polar caps, the vast dust deserts (which were ironically also gray), or the sparse selection of dead oceans with a high enough salt content to float in. But what planet had more culture than Centhia?...It wasn’t just one huge synthcube, bland and monotonous…Was it?
There was so much in the galaxy to see, and even if she moved to New Hamburg, would it feel different from living here in New Bergen? Somehow she doubted that. Maybe…Maybe a change of scenery was in order. A vacation…or perhaps something more? The thought made her smile. Why hadn’t she considered it before?
Movement in her periphery finally tore her eyes away from the view outside the window. It was Echina, beautiful as ever, and carrying a tray of food. The affini had just entered through the door and her flowers now bloomed, their pinkish red warm and lovely in the evening sun. “You are awake.” She stated happily, putting the tray down on the night table by the bed and sitting down in a chair made from her own vines. “How do you feel?”
Rosa smiled while admiring the affini’s beauty. “Good, I think…and light.” With Echina here her mind was beginning to recall all that had happened. “Did the procedure work?” She asked, suddenly feeling just a little nervous.
Echina began petting her, her eyes betraying a hint of nervousness even as her voice remained gentle and soft. “We are pretty sure it did, though we can only know the full range of effects now that you are awake. We will be staying here at the domestication center for a couple of days until we are sure that there haven’t been any complications.” The pets were wonderful, each scratch melting Rosa just a little.
“That makes sense…” More and more of the memories were coming back to her. “When you changed me…that was more than a nudge, wasn’t it?” It certainly hadn’t felt like a nudge, and then again it was difficult to tell what the difference would have been to her now.
“We had to use more force than what one could describe as a nudge, yes. We will make sure to observe you closely to determine if it has had any effects we didn’t plan for.” For the briefest of moments there was a nervous tremble in her voice, so momentary Rosa wasn’t sure she hadn’t just imagined it.
“Is that why I am feeling…’light’?” Rosa asked, leaning a little into Echina’s hand.
“Yes, it is a quite common side effect. Your mind needs time to restructure itself and form new mental patterns now that some of the old ones are gone. So long as you aren’t too confused it should be a good sign.” A good sign…It has been a long time since one of those. Echina moved the tray over to her waist. “It is time for you to eat, are you okay with me feeding you?”
Rosa blushed a little but nodded regardless. “Being pampered for a little bit does sound like an amazing idea. Especially when it is you~” She gave her best adorable expression.
Now it was Echina’s time to blush, her flowers blooming all across her form and her eyes turning light pink. “You know I can’t refuse you when you look at me like that~” Vines moved forward to secure Rosa firmly in the affini’s grasp, one of her hands entirely wrapped in the plant’s vines. Echina began feeding her with the gesture training Rosa had to admit was remarkably relaxing to follow. After each bite, she would get a little praise, and some pets, maybe even a kiss on the forehead. Rosa wondered a little why she had ever resented it…
Or rather, she knew why. Though now all that reasoning was utterly embarrassing like only mistakes in the past could be. Rosa looked up at her affini with no small amount of adoration. “Thank you for helping me…even when I acted in completely foolish ways.” That outburst in the alleyway was particularly cringe-worthy, most of it hadn’t even made sense. How much pain was she in to be able to say something like that? “Thank you so much…” Rosa realized she had started to cry, the hollow feeling of lost pain aching in her chest.
Echina embraced her, burying her in soft, warm vines. “It’s okay dear, I am so proud of you.” The rhythm was there, Rosa hadn’t even noticed before. Somehow…it felt a little different, not as much sound as just…a presence? It was hard to describe, and thinking of it was probably just a distraction from dealing with her emotions. Rosa put the questions aside and allowed herself to cry unabashedly into Echina’s vines.
Only several minutes later had the emotions been properly vented. Rosa was given a bit more space, just enough to look up at Echina. “I should probably talk to Quercus about this, right?”
Echina giggled and smiled, an expression that made Rosa’s heart soar. “You better, though with how much time you will be spending with him over the next few weeks I think you are going to need it just to have something to talk about.” The affini planted yet another kiss on her head. “It relieves me so greatly to see you happy, you have no idea.”
Rosa nuzzled into the affini, savoring the sweet smell. “I do have some idea…but yeah, I am glad it worked out…” A thought made itself into her mind. “Did you see…what I saw in The Pod?” A tinge of worry sparked inside her, Echina had been through more than enough already.
“I did…to imagine the buildings that I have passed so many times could be so oppressive…” A shiver went through her form, her flowers bristling. “I have never been more thankful that we arrived, or more understanding of how brutal it must have been to live through it. There is no way for me to remove what happened to you, but it has been a privilege helping you heal from it.” She gave her an extra strong squeeze. “For you, my love, deserve everything in the universe and more~”
That was an unreasonable level of generosity, then again when had the affini ever been reasonable? “Thank you Echina…It will probably take years for me to fully recover, but I feel pretty safe that it's going to be okay now. I could never have done that without you.”
The glow in Echina’s eyes grew intense like flashlights, and in a single smooth motion her affini lifted her up and into her vines. “Do you think I would ever have accepted another outcome?” There was a domineering determination in her voice. “You have been a very good girl and deserve cuddles, would you like some class-A alongside it?”
A weak surge of pleasure and joy shot through her, and Rosa nodded enthusiastically. Cuddles sounded perfect, making sure she passed her wardship evaluation could come later. She and Echina deserved it plenty.
-Centhia, North New Bergen, Hab complex Ceria, 03.06.2555, 12:34-
Echina placed her terran down on the floor, patting her on the head with a stray vine. “Home sweet home, is that not what you terrans say?” The idioms were still new to her, but Rosa was good at helping her learn.
Rosa took off her coat and looked around, there was clearly a lot on her mind. “Probably in a lot of places, but not here. The home is ‘supposed’ to just be a place to rest and be safe, then you are supposed to get right back out and play The Game.” Right… Rosa saw her look and chuckled. “I think it's cute, and fuck this planet’s cultural norms. Just keep saying it.” Her terran smiled and Echina couldn’t help but reach out and pet her in response. She was just so cute!
Part of her had almost thought that now that Rosa was doing better, the impulse to domesticate and take care of her would lessen. Quite the opposite had happened, she was ashamed to admit. First seeing the world Rosa had lived in had made her need to protect the little thing intensify by orders of magnitude that should not have been possible. Something she at least had gotten an outlet for while caring for Rosa while she slept after the procedure. When Rosa had woken up her adoration for her terran had just grown, not lessened in any way by Rosa’s now much more allowing nature when it came to pets and…what some might call floret-type affection.
When she smiled like that and looked up at her with those big eyes it was almost enough to make Echina burst a vine in the process of controlling her own impulses. Luckily, she had for the most part managed just that. Myrtaca’s words kept echoing in her mind, but as long as Rosa needed her help that would take priority. She could deal with her own stuff afterward.
Rosa had walked over to the sofa and climbed up, splaying herself out on the cushions in a way that made it very tempting to give her belly rubs. “We should probably talk about a few things, shouldn’t we?” Indeed, there was a lot they had both avoided bringing up while Rosa had recovered at the domestication clinic.
“I will get us some snacks and warm drinks, then we can talk.” Echina walked over to the kitchen, once again trying her best to get the conflicting emotions in her core under control. The most important factor was Rosa’s well-being and wishes…If being her floret was part of that then it would be wonderful…but if it wasn’t, that was also something she would have to accept.
Rosa had sat up when she returned, a thoughtful expression on her face. The hot cocoa put down in front of her didn’t even register. Echina did her best to appear calm and collected as an affini should be and sat down opposite her ward. “I have thought about it…” Rosa started, having probably gone over what to say many times before. “And I still feel sure that I want to remain independent, perhaps even more than before.” Do not let her see that you are disappointed.
The feeling was like a cut in her core, but Echina ignored it. “I thought as much, though the last part confuses me. You seem much more…amenable to the concept than before.” She could do this, Rosa deserved as much.
Rosa blushed just a little. “That isn’t wrong…but back then I was scared, terrified of giving up what I felt had defined me for so long. In many ways domestication was like an existential threat…and now that you have helped me move past that, I feel like I have a new shot at discovering who I am. Without all that weight on me…I feel like I can finally live for me, and find out what that means. Domestication isn’t that scary anymore, and some aspects are a little tempting. But it would not give me that opportunity, not in the same way.”
It was a mature and well-reasoned motivation, one that fit at home in Compact society…one that the committee would view favorably. “You have come a long way…” Maybe too long? Had the moment passed? Slipped out of her vines forever? Echina focused herself again. “That makes a lot of sense.”
“Thank you…” Rosa’s brow furrowed. “Though I am not sure it will make up for all of my earlier blunders. We both know that when I first became your ward my prospects for remaining independent were very bleak.” Her terran shuddered, regret and fear mixing in her beautiful eyes.
Echina placed a vine on her knee, staring into her eyes. “We affini do not deal in punitive actions, you know this. So long as you continue to show that you can handle independence responsibly and that you will continue your current approach, I am sure that the committee will see that you can be responsible.” Because that was what she wanted…and how could she ever deny her that?
“I…I hope that is true and I want it to be so…but in the case that they judge that I need an owner…” Echina suddenly realized where it was going. “Would you sign a notice of intent to claim me?” Oh, Everbloom. “I know you want me and if I am not going to have a choice, something I understand if they are hesitant to give me, I want to be yours.”
“Are you sure about this?” Echina’s form wasn’t behaving properly anymore, some of her vines taught, while others wiggled. It was all a mess. What you need is for her to say no, to end this fantasy once and for all. If not, you might ruin everything.
Rosa nodded, not seeming to have picked up on her turmoil. “I said some rather mean things to you during the last month. Like that we weren’t equals, or that you didn’t respect me. I see now how wrong that was.” She interrupted herself with a sad chuckle. “We are not the same, but I know for certain that you respect me. There are so many affini that would never have given me the chances that you have. If I am to be a floret I can’t imagine being owned by anyone else, and neither would I want to. I understand that it might be too much to ask…” Hints of doubt entered Rosa’s expression, doubts of going too far and imposing.
Only that made Echina bring herself together. “It is not. If you want me to, I can file a notice of intent later this evening.” Just remember it is not something you can think about. Rosa will be independent, expecting anything else will just be too painful.
“I also wondered…if I did remain independent…would it be possible for me to stay here for a little while? I’m not sure if I want to move back into my apartment any time soon.” The mere suggestion that her Rosa would live in that suffocating box was unthinkable.
“You can stay here for as long as you want. My home will always be yours if you want it.” Echina petted her terran on the head, feeling her control of the situation slip a little further away. “I love you…” The words had to be spoken, just in case…
Rosa nuzzled into her hand. “I love you too, you big dork. Love you to Terra and back.” It was a relief to hear… How could you have expected her to feel different? Do you think she is just going to leave the second you look away? Get over yourself. She could do it, she could keep herself together. For Rosa…
–Centhia, North New Bergen, Domestication Center 4C, 10.06.2555, 14:46–
It was going to be fine…yes, fine. Calm breaths, relaxed shoulders. No matter what happened, it was going to be fine. Rosa was feeling restless, the urge to walk around the waiting room in circles driving her crazy. Behind a door to her immediate left the committee was talking…talking about whether or not she deserved to be independent or if she needed to become Echina’s floret.
The last week had passed so quickly, her memories of it a comfortable blur. Vet visits, Therapy sessions, walks with Echina…cuddling with Echina while reading the newest academic papers in their respective fields. Political science was getting quite the shakeup in every direction thinkable, not to mention the raging debate surrounding Centhia’s development. Echina’s field was a lot calmer, but when your civilization had done it a thousand times before there was probably not much ground left to break. Still…It was nice, she was definitely going to miss it.
It had been a good idea to focus on those domestic memories, though going beyond that was probably a bad idea. No reason to speculate on the future when others held it in their vines. Echina was very optimistic, and Quercus had been as well last time they spoke. Myrtaca had just avoided the subject, and she kept talking to Echina in affini. Rosa didn’t want to be paranoid, but it did worry her.
The door to her left opened and Quercus took half a step through. “Rosa, you can come in now.” His voice was full of warmth…A good sign?
Rosa jumped down from the chair and followed him into the meeting room, allowing him to help her up in the terran-sized chair at the very end of the table. Seven affini sat at the table, including Echina, Quercus, Helian, and Myrtaca who was leading the meeting from the other side of the table. She was also the one who spoke first. “Thank you for waiting, Rosa. We have heard several testimonies from your xenotherapist, caretaker, and vet. Now, we would very much like to hear yours. Don’t think of it as a test, and there is no reason to be afraid. All we want is to hear how you feel the wardship has been and what state of mind you are in now.” Myrtaca smiled, giving her the nod to begin talking.
No reason to be afraid? That was a little rich coming from the people who controlled her fate, but that was perhaps best left unsaid. She had prepared for what to say and Echina was here, it would be okay. “The wardship has been turbulent, saying anything else would be a lie. At the beginning, I was terrified of being domesticated, crippled by guilt and isolation…more than a little antagonistic.” She could do this. “I tried to refuse help when it was offered, did everything I could to distance myself from my caretaker…and at one point even tried to leave.” Her throat involuntarily choked a little with pain.
Rosa paused and took a deep breath, focusing herself. “I expect many affini would probably have domesticated me on the spot, and not without cause. Instead, Echina gave me another chance. We talked, and I was put on a shorter leash…in a manner of speaking.” She chuckled nervously, and a few of the affini chuckled along. “Even after being put on a higher dose of xenodrugs, I struggled with certain problems and Echina decided to put me on Class-J…I have to admit it was quite nice. A two-week J-cation is something I was recommended twice before Echina became my ward, and while I rebuffed it then it was undeniably something that both helped me rest and recuperate from the burnout I had inflicted on myself.” A slight blush was developing on her face, her body feeling very warm.
“A-anyway, after that Echina allowed me to be sober and I agreed to undergo mnemonic treatment to help me with the self-loathing and responsibility problems that had led to most of this being necessary in the first place. It was not very pleasant, but the results have been magical. It very much feels like I have been given a new chance, both to live and to figure out who I want to be. That is also the reason I want to remain independent even if my fear of domestication is mostly gone…I want to figure myself out without any external pressures tying me down.”
Myrtaca smiled, though Rosa could swear there were hints of blue in her eyes. “What about these last two weeks?”
Right. “The last two weeks have mostly been spent recovering from the mnemonic treatment and then working on myself. I know there is still a lot of stuff I need to figure out, and I am far from done developing…but I do feel on the right course now and safe knowing that I can always get help should I need it.”
With her testimony done the affini looked at each other with different responses, none of them negative as far as Rosa could discern. Echina however was beaming with pride, a wide smile on her face and flowers in bloom. Myrtaca took the word, gesturing to gain the room's focus. “Thank you for your testimony Rosa, you can stay as we will shortly vote and conclude this meeting.” Rosa nodded and felt very, very small. She was powerless, but hopefully her testimony had been enough.
One of the affini Rosa wasn’t that familiar with, a rather dark and mysterious one, spoke up. “Extraordinary measures precluded, we have three options. Enforced Domestication, independence or continued wardship. I myself find myself tilting towards the last option. She is recovering marvelously but based on her history there might be a chance of negative development.”
Quercus responded. “I find that scenario unlikely as the load-bearing thought patterns leading to her self-isolation and self-loathing have been resolved. She has shown no signs of a relapse in that regard and without those hindrances I believe she has the capabilities to solve any emerging issues with the help we provide any xeno. Rosa is a remarkably strong-willed little sophont.” That…was very nice to hear. It wasn’t often she got compliments like that from an affini.
“Be that as it may,” Another unrecognizable affini interjected. “I struggle to see why domestication is not the obvious answer. She obviously thrives in Echina’s care and with a floret lifestyle. I sincerely doubt that she can’t do the self-discovery she is planning with a collar around her neck, unless that self-discovery is feral in nature, something I also doubt.” The affini turned to Echina. <Your opinion on this point is obviously what carries the most weight. What do you think?> Oh, changing to affini? The hairs on Rosa’s neck stood up in unison.
For a second Echina and Rosa stared into each other’s eyes from across the table. Echina hesitated, but only for a moment. “I think independence will be the best for Rosa. I know she would be happy as my floret, and yet I also know that she is a brilliant and sharp little thing. I want this for her because it is what she wants, and because I know she will be happy. That is all the reasoning I need.” …Echina…If Rosa had the power of teleportation she would already be hugging her affini so damn much.
Myrtaca smiled in that strange way again…maybe it was just some part of her affini mannerisms she hadn’t seen before? “Unless there is anything more that needs to be discussed, I suggest we vote.” The moment of truth. “All in favor of her domestication?” Not a single vine was raised. “All in favor of prolonging the wardship?” Myrtaca and the shadowy affini raised their vines. “All in favor of ending the wardship with no further consequences?” Five vines were raised in the air.
She…she did it. She fucking did it!! Rosa resisted punching the air and shouting in jubilation, though even if she hadn’t the wave of relief passing over her would have prevented her all the same. It was unreal…and yet also reality. She was free…her fate hers to choose, at least within reasonable limits. More than that, she had gotten better. She had actually gotten better. It had to be the truth, as no lies or isolation or rebuffing would have led to this scenario.
“Then it is decided, Rosa Tordenberg’s wardship will end without any further measures.” Myrtaca gave her a playful look. “Though the sophont in question is advised to keep going to her therapy sessions for the foreseeable future. With that, the meeting is over and this committee is disbanded.”
She had done it!!!
Rosa jumped down from her chair and rushed to Echina’s side. Her affini lifted her up and into her arms, giving her a big hug. The other affini of the committee came by, one by one, and offered their praise. To her for being a very good girl, and to Echina for doing a very good job with her. It was a bit embarrassing being talked about like that, almost a little irritating…but then again they were right. Echina had done a very good job with her.
As she was put down, her hair thoroughly ruffled by affini hands and vines, the shadowy affini approached her and Echina. “Congratulations to you both. Slightly unorthodox but based on your smiles I can’t see fault in that.” Rosa felt it immediately, he wanted something. They gave her a wry smile. “You have some good instinct, I do indeed want to ask you a question.”
Rosa looked up at Echina worriedly, feeling less at ease than just a moment ago. Echina smiled reassuringly and grabbed her hand with a vine…so she knew about this? Okay… “Go ahead.” No other path forward it seemed.
“I am not sure your ex-caretaker allowed you to hear about it, but at the end of this week, the Centhian Conference will begin. A grand gathering to discuss this planet’s societal trajectory. In short, I would like for you to attend. So long as you want to, and don’t think it would burden you.” What…Sure, Rosa had heard about the conference, and sure she had wanted to attend…but the affini wanted to invite her?
It felt like a trap, or some sort of test. Again she looked up at Echina who just smiled and looked back down. “It is your decision dear. I will of course be with you every step of the way, making sure you don’t overstress yourself and all that. But this is your decision. Saying no is also perfectly fine.” Rosa’s mind short-circuited for a couple seconds processing Echina’s words. Her choice…oh...right, of course, this was her decision. She was an independent now.
Doing her best to ignore the amused look on the affini’s faces she delayed with a question. “Invite me to do what exactly?” The motivation of the affini was still extremely perplexing.
“Be in a couple of stage interviews, a panel conversation, and perhaps a small debate. You can say yes now and change your mind later without problem, you can also do so five minutes before going onto the stage. I will be grateful if you accept the invitation, so long as you put your own needs first.” They were honestly very friendly when up close despite the black and thick foliage covering them.
Rosa squeezed the vine in her hands in a rhythmic beat while looking at the floor. “I know it’s not just my fault, but I still regret the part I played in stirring up all the discontent. I want to help set that right if I can…Get some closure on politics for a little while.” It was one hell of an opportunity, one she could never have imagined being offered to her… “Can I ask why you want me to attend? It is a little strange based on what I did before my wardship.”
“To be frank, it is both because of your position before, and your position now.” Oh… “The political class on this planet has already been almost entirely domesticated, and those who have emerged as political activists have often not behaved well or been very cooperative. Our current estimates already indicate that Centhia will have one of the largest proportional domestication rates compared to any other population in the Terran Protectorate. This isn’t inherently an issue but getting that many affini to settle here will take a little bit of time.” The idea that settling what, 9 billion affini or so, on Centhia would take a ‘little’ bit of time was truly terrifying.
“In the meantime, it will be best to incentivize terrans to seek help and integrate themselves without resisting. You are one of the very few politically known, non-domesticated, and compact adjusted terrans.”
“So having me talk at the conference would help alleviate some fears.” Rosa finished for them. “That makes sense.” A whole lot of sense actually. “You do know that if I go to the conference, I won't just spout compact propaganda, right? I might even say some things you disagree with.”
The affini smiled without worry, clearly enjoying the conversation. “We are counting on it, anything less would just make the poor suspicious terrans discount you without a second thought. Your sharp tongue and mind is exactly what we need.”
For the last time, Rosa looked up at Echina. The pride shone in her eyes, that and confidence. Rosa reached out a hand. “So long as I am feeling well and don’t change my mind, you can count me in.”
The affini took her hand, enveloping it, and shook it gently. “Thank you, Rosa. I will send you more information later, please enjoy the rest of the week. You both deserve it.” He said a couple words of affini to Echina and then walked out of the meeting room.
Rosa was deep in thought already, her mind spinning with the implications and possibilities, the arguments, and the counter- She let out a yelp as Echina lifted her up into her arms without warning, piercing her with a loving gaze. “You can think about all that later. Right now we have a party to plan.”
Immersed in her affini’s sweet floral scent, Rosa’s mind reflexively let the thoughts drift away and she nuzzled into the vines. “That we do…Thank you so much.”
Echina lifted her chin up, their faces just centimeters apart. “For you, anything.” They stared into each other’s eyes, and then closed them.
Echina’s lips were warm and soft against Rosa’s own, a tingling pleasure spreading across her face and mind. The affini pushed forward just a little, Rosa responding in kind before they both pulled back. Maybe…the party planning could wait until tomorrow.
Notes:
I hope none of you were expecting me to just let this story end without some painful emotional twists. We are entering the final stretch, but still lots of fun and tears to be had.
More coming soon, though might be more than a week seeing as there is lots of work for me to deal with. Hopefully nothing too bad.
Chapter 20: Board games, Plampt Sex, and Impending Changes
Notes:
Rosa and Echina deserve to celebrate the work they have done the past couple of weeks, and so should you.
Cozy up with something tasty and enjoy this wholesome chapter with no ominous undertones at all :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
-Centhia, North New Bergen, Hab complex Ceria, 12.06.2555, 16:49-
Echina was filled with pride, excitement, and a little bit of dread. Everything was almost ready, a good thing too seeing as the guests would be arriving in mere minutes. The last order of business was getting the cake that had been cooking in her oven out and glazed. Saccharu had given her a few tips, but she still didn’t know for certain when to take it out of the oven. Too little and it wouldn’t be able to keep its form, too long and it would burn. Mineralized water was so much easier. She inspected the cake and decided to wait a little bit longer, for at least the fifth time that evening.
Turning her attention to her hab, she was proud to see it ready for a very nice party. Bowls of snacks and mineralized water lined the tables, floral décor covered the walls, and sweet scents danced through the air. What she was most proud of was how tidy she had gotten it, as her hab had a habit of being a little bit of a mess. The only place that stood in firm exception was her study, which was politely closed and locked. One, so none of the guests would find where she had put the mess. And two, so she wasn’t too tempted to go back in and continue her work.
The universities were opening in just two weeks, and Echina couldn’t wait for the day to come. Soon the campus grounds that had stood mostly empty would be filled with terrans, their expanded lecture halls and buildings brimming to the limit with sophonts hungry to learn. So much knowledge lay in store to be transferred to whoever wished to attend, and while she had prepared less of that than she would have preferred, it would still be a treat to teach it. Stars, it was going to be so much fun.
As the temptation to pop into her study and work on her lecture plans grew, the door to her hab opened without ceremony. Rosa came through, breathing heavily and sweat on her brow. Her terran had been running…Had the session with Quercus taken longer than expected?“Welcome back, everything should be ready soon.” She petted Rosa on the head, her pride elevating when remembering how good her terran had been… Was she forgetting something ?
Rosa caught her breath and opened her mouth to speak, but that was when Echina remembered the cake. “Hold on one moment dear, just need to do something really quick.” Dirt. Hopefully, it hadn’t gotten burnt. With adorable terran oven mitts on her vines, she removed the cake from the oven, inspecting it closely. It was mostly okay, just a few of the edges had got a little burnt. Not perfect, but far from inedible once she had removed the toxic compound.
Her vines cutting away the burnt parts and glazing the cake at the same time, Echina also noticed that Rosa was deep in thought. Her eyes were unfocused as if they were looking deep into the horizon. She had seen it on her face several times since The Pod treatment but so far she had not found any concrete reason. It would make sense if there wasn’t, maybe her terran simply had a lot to think about now that she was free of past emotional burdens.
That thought made her smile. Despite all her mistakes she might have ended up doing a good job, after all, measuring up to what Rosa deserved. “Echina and Rosa, you have visitors!” The hab AI announced excitedly.
Stars, they were already arriving.
Putting away the cake to cool, she and Rosa walked to the door, allowing each other a moment to prepare before opening the door. It was Myrtaca, and right beside her on a leash Veronica. “Rosa!!!” The floret exclaimed and rushed forward, hugging her Rosa tight. She was just as cute as Echina remembered her to be, but now she had two adorable floppy puppy ears on her head and a short wagging tail.
Rosa froze for a moment but quickly returned the hug, a few tears building up in her eyes. “Hi Veronica…It’s been far too long.” There was still some lingering regret in her terran’s voice.
As the terrans hugged, Myrtaca embraced Echina. <How are you doing?> Her friend sounded worried, and Echina had to admit it was not without cause. It was nice to feel vines intermingle with her own, helping to ground and comfort her.
Echina spoke in affini back, Rosa would probably have been annoyed but she was properly distracted with the reunion. <…A little nervous but knowing that Rosa is happy is more than enough.> How could it not be? <So very proud of her.>
<You have every right to be, and to be proud of yourself. Should anything change, remember that I am here for you.> Myrtaca promised and then with a final squeeze untangled herself from their embrace.
“You should come in…Echina made a bunch of snacks.” Rosa was drying her tears away, showing Veronica towards the couch.
Veronica turned and looked pleadingly up at Myrtaca, her tail wagging excitedly. “Mistress…Can I please join Rosa and have some treats? Pretty please?” It was an utterly adorable display…Echina felt a little jealousy drip into her core. Rosa hadn’t called her Mistress since being taken off the class-J…As was her prerogative.
“Of course, you can. Good girl for asking~” Myrtaca leaned down and petted her floret who purred and giggled in response. “Such a good floret~” With that final bit of praise Veronica ran over to Rosa and grabbed her hand, blushing and smiling all the while. Utterly adorable~
Rosa guided the floret to the couch where they both climbed up, Veronica quick to lean against her friend. Centering herself, Echina walked over and sat down beside the two on Rosa’s side, covertly holding Rosa’s hand with a few small vines. Her terran had felt a lot of guilt over Veronica’s compulsory domestication, and while most of that was gone after her treatment, Echina was sure some probably remained. Myrtaca seemed to be in the same mind, sitting down on the other side of the terran pair.
Before Rosa could muster herself to speak, Veronica nuzzled into her. “I have been worried about you…” The floret admitted. “I know you wanted it to be my choice, but even if it wasn’t I have never been happier than with my owner. You shouldn’t feel bad for anything, that’s just unfair.” She pouted a little.
“I…” Rosa’s speech halted a little, then she pushed through it. “I do wish it had been your choice…And part of me still wants to think that if I had done something differently then maybe it would have been. Did you…” She gave a brief glance up at Myrtaca. “How did you feel about it right before the decision was made?”
“I was nervous, so Stars darn nervous…But I knew that no matter what I would be okay. Either Mistress would take care of me, or She would help me to take care of myself. And I love Her…” The face of the floret as she looked adoringly up at her owner was downright core melting.
Rosa’s eyes darted to Echina for just a split second, and she blushed. “I understand…I am glad for both of you. It's important to have someone to love and make happy.” Her terran gave the vines in her hand a little squeeze and Echina’s flowers bloomed.
Had the committee come to a different conclusion then Rosa’s fate would have been the same as Veronica’s. Happy…loved…safe in her vines. Echina dragged herself together, refusing to let her form fall apart. She was not regretting that Rosa had gotten her wish, she was not. She couldn’t, so she wasn’t. Simple as that.
“Wait…so if you’re not becoming a floret… Then you won’t get an implant…Does that mean you won’t get any biomods?” Veronica exclaimed, utterly baffled. Echina focused on the conversation once more trying to pretend her mind had not been somewhere else entirely. Only Myrtaca had noticed, the beautiful affini sliding a vine over to her behind the couch, a hidden comfort.
Rosa shrugged. “I suppose not. Does that matter?”
“But…But…” Veronica clearly found it to be a rather big deal. “What if you want to have a tail? Or cute fuzzy ears? Or…or…Fangs!” The floret nodded to herself. “You would look great with fangs.” …Echina looked down at her terran and tried to imagine it…Veronica was right, it would look great.
“Sure, but I think I can live without them. I’m rather happy with how I look.” Rosa stated confidently…Yet a mere second later she was dragging her thumb over her teeth, clearly thinking about the idea.
Veronica pouted, an expression that seemed to come very naturally to her. “But...they are so cute! Don’t you want to be cute?” So cute~
Myrtaca dragged her floret into a hug. “I think Rosa is pretty darn cute already, and you did need plenty of time to find the ones you wanted~”
“I…Not fair…There were so many options!”
Rosa chuckled and then suddenly stopped. “So you already have your implant?” Her voice was both hesitant and curious.
Veronica stopped pouting and nodded twice, pushing away her hair to showcase the scar. A green trail like that of a vein stretched from the bottom of her neck and upwards. “Got it over a month ago!” She sounded proud, as she had every right to be~
“How does it feel?” Rosa asked, tracing the green trail with a finger.
Veronica shivered and giggled. “That tickles!” Rosa pulled her hand back, blushing heavily. “It feels good, like a nice spine friend that makes sure I never feel lonely.” Now it was Rosa’s turn to shiver. “It's comforting…Makes me feel safe.” The floret muttered adoringly, pressing against Myrtaca’s side.
Myrtaca scratched her floret behind the ears, plucking a small orange berry from her arm and feeding it to the very eager pet. As Veronica savored the treat, Myrtaca gave Rosa a teasing smile. “Curious~?”
Rosa leaned closer to Echina, wagging her finger protectively towards the welfare officer. “I don’t know if you mean a berry or an implant, either way the answer is no thank you. I have had quite enough affini meddling in my thoughts as of late.” Awwwww~
Echina leaned over her terran, pushing her even closer into her vines. “Is that true dear~? If my memory serves right, you were quite fond of treats and ‘affini meddling’ when on class-J~”
Rosa’s heartbeat quickened, her face red as a rose. “That…I…”
Veronica came to the rescue. “You were on class-J?? You are so lucky! Mistress, why haven’t you put me on class-J yet? Rosa isn’t even a floret…Unfair.” Crossing her arms, the pouty floret pouted preciously.
“Awwwww~ Does my floret want to be a mindless pet for a little while~? I am sure that can be arranged. As for Rosa, I think she was in dire need of some relaxation.” Myrtaca teased, plucking another berry for Veronica to eat.
Instead, the floret seemed to mellow. “Rosa…” An unusual amount of regret had entered her voice. “I’m sorry I left you doing all my work at the movement. It wasn’t fair.” Myrtaca and Echina both pulled back on the teasing, giving the two terrans the space they needed.
Rosa looked uncomfortable. “It was my decision to take that responsibility instead of giving it to someone else. You don’t need to feel guilty about any of that…It was all voluntary work in the end.”
“No.” Veronica’s voice was hard, a few tears building in her eyes. “You were always there when I needed you and…when you needed me…I…I’m sorry. I should have noticed and done what I could to help.”
“It…it wasn’t your fault that I was in that situation and if you had tried to help me I would just have pushed you away. That’s what I did when Myrtaca and Echina tried. Taking care of you and Kevin made me feel like I mattered, and I needed that back then, probably more than was healthy. But I don’t need that anymore, and you have Myrtaca to take care of you…So all is good that ends well, is it not?” There was still pain and worry in Rosa’s voice, pain Echina longed to drain away and never let return…Still, her terran managed to keep her composure. It's your fault she has to.
“Echina and Rosa, you have visitors!” The hab AI announced again, interrupting the conversation, and making Rosa straighten up and stiffen. Her terran was nervous…but why? Echina had assumed meeting Veronica was going to be the most difficult thing for Rosa this evening. Was there something she had missed?
Rosa gave Veronica a quick hug and then jumped down from the cough. “Come in.” The door opened, Kevin, Saccharu, and Quercus stepped through. “Welcome!”
“You did it!” Kevin congratulated, meeting Rosa and giving her a big hug. “I knew you would pass.” Endless pride and adoration streamed forth from his eyes.
Rosa was a little bashful, before giving Kevin’s biceps a little squeeze. “Have you gotten stronger?”
He nodded, grinning as he flexed them. “Mistress has given me some special class-G so now I can-” In one elegant motion he swiped Rosa off her feet and into a bridal carry. “Do this. Who’s the weak one now?”
Rosa had lost her composure for only a brief moment, quickly regaining it. “We all are, but I do wonder how long you can keep this up.” Her mouth a teasing smile as she purposefully made herself harder to carry by centering her weight and squirming relentlessly.
Kevin’s face grew strained from the exertion, and interestingly enough failed to meet her terran’s eyes. “Sure I can…I have carried way heavier things than you…I’ll have you know. Even if…You are surprisingly heavy.”
Rosa stretched herself out, causing Kevin to almost lose balance. “Are you calling me heavy? How very un-gentlemanly of you. I’m nothing but a frail and helpless dame, and you can’t even carry me?” Her voice was thickly laced with sarcasm.
A second before Kevin would have had to put her down, Saccharu walked up behind him and lifted them both up into her vines. “Don’t you worry Rosa, there are no shortages of people who can carry you~”
“I was joking. I am quite okay on the ground.” Rosa protested, only for Myrtaca to lift Veronica up and join in the hug.
“Group hug!” The floret cheered happily, nuzzling into Rosa who was squeezed in the middle of the two florets and their affini. It was quite an adorable display.
Rosa struggled for a few seconds but soon had to give up. “Echina…Can you rescue me?” She said with a sigh and a smile.
An interesting proposal. Echina closed in, enjoying Rosa’s expression as she realized help was not on the table. At least not the help she had asked for. “There is no need to be uptight petal, or are you suggesting you don’t find the cuddles pleasant?” The two florets giggled and held their friend closer.
Rosa rolled her eyes, exposing her arm to the waiting injector. “Okay, but don’t go overboard. I need to be sober later.” Alas, that was her judgment to make. Echina injected her terran with a moderate dose of class-A and her body relaxed as on command. Pulling out a large pet bed designed for just this occasion, the three terran were placed down so they could cuddle in peace. After they all had a good dose of class-A in their system, of course.
With the pleasant sounds of pleased xenos to accompany them, Echina and the other Affini got seated and started to talk. Myrtaca and Saccharu quickly got engaged in a discussion about the upcoming Centhian Conference, neither she nor Quercus had much interest in that. <Excited for the universities to open?> He asked, dipping his vine in the mineralized water she had prepared.
<That would be an understatement. It is what I came here to do in the first place…before I got a little distracted.” They shared a chuckle. “I’m a little worried that it will happen at the same time as Rosa attends this Conference thing but, luckily the university is nearby. Whenever I am not giving a lecture I can be right behind her, making sure she doesn’t overextend.> Hopefully that wouldn’t happen, the organizers would likely make sure there were more than enough breaks and other incentives to make the terrans relax. Rosa was hardly the only one suffering from problems of overwork.
<That sounds like a lovely arrangement, I am sure you will both do splendidly. Has Rosa told you what she is planning to do afterward?>
<She hasn’t, though I know she is thinking hard and often about it. It must be strange for her in some ways, suddenly having so many options when before she had so few. No matter what, I trust her to make a good decision, even if the decision is to take it slow. She deserves to take it slow and without external pressure.> Even if that external pressure is you.
Quercus nodded, though he seemed a little unsatisfied. <She has made a marvelous recovery, it's not often I see patients make such a shift. Not without domestication or heavy doses of xenodrugs.>
Echina allowed herself to beam with pride. <There are moments when she is tempted to take on too much responsibility, and she has grown quite insistent on helping around the hab. But I think that is just who she is, it's no longer something she desperately feels the need to do to justify her existence. Thank you for helping her, talking with you has given her a space I couldn’t.>
<It has been my pleasure, Rosa has been a treat to figure out and understand. She is in some ways very different from the other terrans here, and in others very similar. I recently read an academic discussion surrounding the particular Centhian philosophies that have developed over the last centuries….Teriza Berithia and…> It was perhaps the case that he was pulling her vines into an academic conversation she had longed to have for days now.
And if it was, then she had no issues with being dragged in. <Sireni Tharil, yes. It is a wonderful insight into the way political conflict has shaped the social structures and norms here. Did you know that even the concept of romance has very different dimensions in most communities on Centhia?> The academic discussion started to flow in the way only cross-field discussions could. Her insight into xenosociology an excellent match for his knowledge of xenopsychology.
At some point as they were deep into the discussion of power based relationships of the 23rd century, they were interrupted by soft commotion from the cuddle pile.
Rosa had sobered up, and managed to drag herself out of the floret cuddle pile. She stretched and smiled, her expression of contentment making Echina’s core swell with joy. Then…for but a second Echina thought it almost looked mournful. “Okay you two, we have done the floret activity of the night. Now get up and join me so we can play some board games.” Then it was gone…it must have been her imagination. What would Rosa have to mourn?
“Noooo.” Kevin protested “You always win anyway, can't we just cuddle some more instead?” Veronica made her agreement known with a sleepy nod.
Rosa sighed, looking over to Myrtaca and Saccharu for support. “Can't you give them something?” The two affini were a bit dumbfounded before giggling. “Are you serious? You make drugs for practically everything, but not to make people interested in boardgames? You are all hopeless.” Without a hint of mercy she began to drag the florets out of the bed. “Come on, you both owe me at least one round of Management. It's been ages.”
With a resigned groan Kevin got up, following Rosa as she compiled a huge crate of cardboard and cleared the table. Echina stared in astonishment as more and more parts were removed from the care and assembled into a board and pieces to fill them. “...Is this not rather complicated for a game?”
Rosa spoke excitedly while continuing to set up the game. “You should see the older version, this one is far more refined.” Echina stared down at the board and found herself completely stumped. Most games had a pretty clear premise, victory condition and central factors. In this one there were at least 20 stacks of cards, numerous pieces of terrans in different occupations, eight different types of currency, a set of 3D buildings tokens, and five pamphlets containing rules that were likely hundreds of pages each. “Veronica, what faction do you want to play?”
The sleepy terran had finally managed to get up from the bed. “SReVO, and if you mess with my stocks again I will liquidate you.” What…those were game terms…right?
Echina retreated to the couch, giving Myrtaca a concerned glance. <Doesn’t that game strike you as rather…feral?>
The welfare officer giggled and intertwined a vine with hers. <Its aesthetics are pre-domestication to be sure, but it's hardly encouraging anything harmful. With time it will no doubt change, and cultural preservation is important as well. Plus, it is a rather fun game. If you are thinking of joining, beware: Veronica might act petulant, but it’s nothing more than a farce.> That sounded awfully deceptive…and like it was a deception Myrtaca had been utterly fooled by.
Not at all something Echina could imagine the adorable terran with her cute floppy ears would be capable of. <You played it with her?> Sensing an angle of teasing and to get under Myrtaca’s usual professional composure, Echina leaned closed and smiled mischievously.
A couple of the flowers lower on Myrtaca's chest bloomed. <I did…Trust me, it's best we leave them to it. At least if you value your dignity, thank the Everbloom for class-B is all I am saying.> Okay…That was very cute. Too cute to not act upon.
Echina leaned in closer, dragging a finger across Myrtaca's chin. <Awwwww, did your floret best you at a board game? The mighty and competent Myrtaca brought down by something so cute and innocent?~> It had been a long time since she indulged this way and based on Myrtaca’s reaction it had been a while for her too.
A few more of Myrtaca's blossoms bloomed. <It almost sounds like you are challenging me, Echina. Are you sure that is the route you want to go?~> She pushed back, vines pressing into Echina’s form and teasing to get at her core. The stamen of her flowers danced entrancingly across her form like waves on an ocean. Their many hues of white, red, and pink matching her seven eyes most spectacularly. Her form, usually so composed and refined, was now being ruffled and split, revealing the light bark and vibrant green leaves underneath.
How had she not noticed how utterly beautiful Myrtaca was before? And the way she was looking at her…It was enough for Echina’s flowers to bloom themselves.
Echina returned the favor, doing her best to bend Myrtaca's vines to her own will. They struggled covertly, great force making the sofa creak a little. Myrtaca was strong, but to Echina’s everlasting satisfaction: She was stronger. Saccharu noticed them while retrieving a bowl of mineralized water from the table, only giving them a happy smile before returning to the other couch and giving them space to continue.
Binding her ‘friend’ in an iron grip, their vines so intermingled it would be difficult to separate them as two beings, Echina grabbed hold of Myrtaca's core. <I think I win, or would you like to struggle some more?> It required quite a bit of force to keep Myrtaca down and bound, so her voice was filled with playful interruptions.
<I…> Myrtaca attempted to struggle as she spoke, something that would have been impressive if she had succeeded in throwing her off…But seeing as it only resulted in being further bound and having her core delightfully teased, it was just the perfect amount of pathetic. <You win…> The affini’s eyes were glowing a bright pink, submission welling from her biorhythm.
<Good houseplant~> Echina cooed, her form intermingling into Myrtaca’s own, taking control over every limb and graft. The intimacy of their vines rubbing together, struggling in a loving battle for dominance, was astounding. Growling with hunger and desire, Echina bit into her prey’s neck, drinking the sweet sap that trickled out. <Stars, you are delicious~> Myrtaca whimpered, her vines growing limp and allowing Echina more and more control.
Soon even their heads had melded together, two beings melded into one, their cores pressing into each other in ecstatic pleasure. It was so natural, each moment leading into the next even if Echina had never gone so far with another affini before. Playfighting? Sure. Some intermingling and core teasing? Who hadn’t? But this?! This was something else.
<Thank you for sharing a form…with me…> Myrtaca’s gratitude was interrupted by soft sounds of pleasure. <I hope…I wasn’t too forward…> The hesitation and doubt was unexpected.
Echina gave the plant in her grasp a squeeze, producing a most exquisite sound in the process. <Not at all, I just never expected…> She stopped herself from saying something foolish. <My focus has been singular the last few months…if you have been trying to…> No, that wasn’t right either. <You are beautiful...and…>
The affini within and without her giggled, a delightful vibration passing through them both. <I like you Echina, I have for some time. If you like me that would be very nice, but there is no need to set up a core grafting appointment right now.> Oh stars…Myrtaca liked her? And she just hadn’t noticed for…How long?!
Echina’s strength and concentration waned as her embarrassment grew, and in the flash of a couple milliseconds, Myrtaca exploited the opportunity to take control. <Awwwwww, is the grand and imposing academic a little flustered?~> She could take back control, but not without first regaining her composure. <It’s okay love, I know you have been distracted by other matters…One rather specific matter to be more precise. There is nothing wrong with that. As for my beauty, I am glad you are finally taking notice of me as I have of you~ >
Myrtaca thought she was beautiful? Her? Echina struggled to respond, her fluster and embarrassment only deepening. <You think I am grand and imposing?> It was about the only question in her mind she could properly formulate.
<Oh, you are adorable~> Myrtaca spoke with adoring amusement. <Everything about your form and attitude screams that you are the most informed person in the room…Well, except for when Rosa is involved. That little terran really has gotten your roots in a twist~> That…That was perhaps true enough.
<Is that enough to be imposing?> The struggle between their vines abated, settling into a comfortable cuddling position.
<Maybe I am a little biased…Then again I think your spectacular qualities are beyond argument. It is not like I chose this area of the planet specifically just because of you…It’s also the place with the best parks.> How had she not known this?!
<I…am I really that oblivious?> Echina asked, trying to frantically remember the moments she and Myrtaca had talked during the last year.
<I was very subtle~> Something about the tone of her voice made the statement suspect. <Even before you met Rosa you were captured by your whims and delightful focus. Each time we met I felt like you made me look twice at subjects I could have so easily overlooked. It was what I first found so alluring about you.> Myrtaca’s core thrummed with that most sublime feeling, radiating straight into Echina’s own.
<Back on The Hortus I…I always thought you were just humoring my ramblings…> Echina admitted. <You were the one with responsibility and competence while I just followed my fixations…Its something I have long admired about you, I could never do what you do.>
They squeezed each other, their forms slowly growing from a jumbled pile and into something more distinct and humanoid over the course of many long, lovely moments. Echina felt herself relax in an utterly unique way, her very form being able to rest against someone else. <I don’t want to rush into this too fast…and I still want to make sure Rosa transitions well out of her wardship…but…> Echina found her words missing once again.
<A date would be lovely, Echina. Nothing would make me happier~> Myrtaca finished for her, giving her a full-form hug. The sense of loss and anxiety that Echina had been feeling all week was evaporating, replaced by a vibrant excitement. Yes, Rosa wouldn’t be her floret…but perhaps that wouldn’t be so bad. The compact was very generous.
-Centhia, North New Bergen, Hab complex Ceria, 12.06.2555, 20:04-
Rosa smiled triumphantly as she revealed her hand. “Full consortium, I win.” It had been an arduous affair, her rusty skill struggling against Veronica who had obviously been practicing. In the end, and with a little bit of luck, her intuition had nonetheless brought her victory. “Good game.”
Veronica let out a sigh which slowly turned into a pout. “Good game…” There was a little bit of disappointment in her voice. “Next time, you won't be so lucky.” A sharp glint in her eyes told Rosa that rusty skill would not suffice next time...if there was a next time.
Kevin just shook his head and smiled mirthfully. “Good game to you both, now I would very much like to get high as fuck and not have to spend a second longer doing math. Understood?” He gave her a playful stern look.
Rosa chuckled and shrugged. “Florets, a one-track mind if ever there was one.” Her mind provided a serious reminder. “Try to stay sober for five more minutes, there is something important I want to tell you all.” The two florets looked at her inquisitively but held off any questions. “I can decompile the game, I’ll be with you both soon.” A lump was forming in her throat, one fearful to give way to fateful words in just a few minutes.
Kevin returned to Saccharu, jumping into her lap to receive a smothering of pets. Both his owner and Quercus who she had been talking to, drowning him in adoring attention. There was no mistaking that he was enjoying it…Prior to domestication any amount of attention not carefully given had made him either shut down or very defensive. Rosa smiled, trying to ignore the painful sting of knowing that she had judged his decision when he had first told her. Quercus would probably have commented that it was an understandable reaction to a feeling of isolation and guilt…She was beginning to agree, but the pain still remained. Maybe that was for the best.
Tidying up the game, Rosa placed it in the compiler and in a flash of light, it was gone. Playing again had been nice, Nothing challenged the mind more perfectly than a game of Management…It was good to have gotten a final chance. A few noises drew her attention to the couch where Myrtaca and Echina were untangling from each other before a very amused Veronica. The two affini’s session of cuddling…or maybe sex? She was unsure how to classify it. Either way, it had been something to behold. Highly intriguing, and that perfect kind of sappy. Knowing that Echina had friends and maybe something more/different felt reassuring for what she was about to do. Myrtaca had not been the partner she would have expected…Then again maybe she never had given her much of a chance—another sting in her heart to carry.
Looking at the living room, Rosa felt a few tears well up in her eyes. Emotions of gratitude, love, relief, and guilt continued to swirl inside her. It was tempting to wait forever, but her future waited eagerly. Taking a deep breath in, Rosa moved forward.
Notes:
This was originally supposed to just be the first part of one chapter, but it got large enough I had to split it into two, so the next chapter should be out soon (hopefully)
Thank you lots for reading, and as always I treasure every comment and the happy chemicals they provide me.
Chapter 21: The decision of an independent
Notes:
CW: self loathing
Part two of the party! Last chapter was so nice and cozy, I hope you all enjoy this one as well.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
–Centhia, North New Bergen, Domestication Center 4C, 12.06.2555, 15:32–
Rosa stared up into the sky, craning her neck so she could spot the ships docked in orbit. It was a clear day and far up where the blue turned white, the affini vessels imitated celestial objects. Having read up on a few of them, she identified them by shape and décor. All spectacular, they housed hundreds of millions of sophonts…The pictures of the insides had been very pretty.
One would be heading to the core worlds, back to the Triangulum galaxy where the affini came from, a long journey even for an affini craft. Rosa wondered for a moment what those planets would be like to live on…Eldritch for sure, and maybe not the safest for her independence. The clerk she had talked to described the affini living on the core worlds as very removed from any sort of terran psychology, far less understanding of values she herself might have. Tempting out of curiosity…but no.
Another would be heading further into the Milky Way, to places yet to be discovered and people yet to be domesticated. It was an intoxicating possibility, to stretch beyond the known and be on the forefront of something entirely new. Before this week she would probably have wondered what role she could have in such a project, but now the reality that she didn’t need to have a role to justify her existence rendered that question moot. Still…being part of an imperial project didn’t sit right with her, even if she was just a tourist.
The final ship, The Prospectus, had arrived a good while ago and would soon be leaving to journey back from where it had come. Staying in the Milky Way, it would be venturing to those worlds the affini had domesticated over the last five centuries since they arrived. Endless different cultures, mindsets, landscapes, and people. It called to her and was difficult to stop thinking about, even for a moment. Daydreams wandered her mind endlessly…but maybe they were just that, daydreams.
“Enjoying the weather?” Quercus asked mirthfully, having gotten surprisingly close without Rosa noticing.
Shoot…Rosa blushed a little in embarrassment. “Yeah…sorry. I think I lost track of the time.”
The barked affini smiled in amusement and sat down on the bench behind her. “Maybe lost track of your thoughts as well? It’s okay, we can have your session here. Sunlight is good for the terran body and affini form alike.” The veranda was shielded from the strong and bitter wind, so if not for the paleness of the sun one would almost assume it was summer.
Rosa sat down and leaned back, moving her gaze back to the ships in the sky. “Where did you live before you came here?” The question caught her by surprise, but she let it hang in the air.
Quercus looked at her curiously, the eyes behind the fake vine glasses sparkling in the sunlight. “I lived on a few different ships and planets in the protectorate of the” The affini produced a high-pitched whistling noise. “You would probably place them somewhere between bird and insect. A very cute people with a culture that places great significance on color and flashy performances. The planets they live on are as beautiful and colorful as their performances, full of flowers and open fields… I was a painter back then…” His voice turned wistful. “and shared a floret with my mate.”
She hadn’t expected him to talk about his past in that way. “Why did you leave?…And move to here of all places?” Compared to what he described Centhia had to be the least appealing place in the galaxy.
“After I rebloomed I needed change. My mate and floret understood, and I still love them so very much.” A smile dances across his face. “I chose Centhia partly out of need, being in the second wave of a domestication effort does come with certain moral obligations…But honestly, I think I would have chosen this either way. You terrans have a fascinating psychology, and few places have more to show than here. Back where I lived before the idea of lies was not even a concept, but here it is more common than the truth. Games of information, of subterfuge and minds…It is incredibly interesting to study.” His tone grew more excited, as any affini that was allowed to start monologuing about their special interest.
Rosa chuckled, leaning a little closer to the affini who rewarded her with a few pets. “And the endless gray? You find that equally fascinating?”
“I do, though I can see why you might find it trite.” He ruffled her hair. “The colors might not be diverse, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a lot of insight to be gained by observing them. Every structure, window, and lamp post betray thoughts of intention and function. Function…that is what has become so omnipresent here, saturating everything from the food to the art to the very thought processes of those who live here.” That was a very interesting perspective, and Rosa had to agree she was part of the pattern.
“Isn’t that strictly worse? And even unnecessary now that you are here?” Rosa asked, a little befuddled at the affini’s excitement over something so obviously grim.
Quercus searched for the right words for a couple of seconds. “Yes, the reason function has become so omnipresent here is horrible. That is undeniable. Yet, that doesn’t mean that a focus on function itself has to fit inside those old structures, or just be a product of need. Function is its own language, endlessly rich in depth and diversity. Your mind Rosa,” The affini looked down at her with adoration and fascination. “The way it churns and plans, plots, deciphers, calculates, observes, and formulates…It is amazing in a way I cannot fully describe.”
He stood up and gestured to one of the larger human structures in the distance. “In the same way I once had intent behind the colors I painted with, the people who built that building had intent in their every decision. Mine was one of emotions and pure expressions, theirs was one of calculation and structure. I want to understand that mindset and nurture it towards a path of exploration. That is why I came here.” He sat down again, clearly making a concentrated effort to adopt that calm therapist persona.
Rosa thought about it for a few seconds, finding that she understood only a little. Maybe he was right in that Centhia did have its own language and form of expression, one that wasn’t inherently worse than what the affini brought with them. Then again… “Don’t you miss seeing nature?...All that you left behind?”
“I will admit that I miss the fields and flowers, no matter how interesting a culture that has rejected nature in its entirety is on an artistic and intellectual plane. I miss my mate and floret more, the communications we share are painfully far apart even now that the intel network has been extended to this planet. One day I will certainly go back, or maybe they will come here. I think my floret has a bet with some friends about which of its owners will buckle first.” He smiled mirthfully, even as his voice was full of nostalgia. It suddenly shifted to playfulness. “As per one law of function, I have given you something, in return you will give me something of equal value. What is on your mind, Rosa?”
Rosa swallowed, shifting her gaze to her lap. “I…I have been thinking…” Was it even wise to say it?
Quercus wrapped a few vines around her, sensing her vulnerability and unease. “Talking with me about it won’t hurt anyone.”
“I am not sure that is right in this case…” The ghost of a familiar weight hung onto her shoulders. A weight she desperately wanted to shake away for good.
He urged her on, holding her a little closer. “And if you don’t talk it will only start to fester. Please go on.”
Rosa took a deep breath and tried to relax, it was difficult with so many thoughts filling her head. “I am afraid that I might get stuck again.”
“Stuck how? Has any of the mnemonic treatment regressed?” Quercus hid it well, but she could hear he was worried.
“No.” She admitted. “It’s just… I have been stuck in place for so long. Not moving, not changing, hardly learning. Until you all helped me, it was like I was stuck in cynical amber, and I didn’t even know it. I’m afraid that if I don’t do something I’ll slip back in.”
“You said at your hearing that you wanted to be independent so you could figure yourself out without any external pressures. I suppose this is what you meant. It also sounds like you have something in mind.” There was no hint of judgment in his voice.
Rosa hesitated. “I…I do…but what about everyone else?” What about Echina?
Quercus made her look up, a slightly stern expression on his face. “Rosa, when was the last time you did something purely to follow your own desires?” He let the question hang in the air for a few seconds. “Caring about others is very admirable, but you already know the cost of letting that control you more than your needs. You will never discover more of what you can be if you stay within the range of actions you know and are comfortable with. The Compact is very generous, but no one can give you permission except for yourself…unless you sign a domestication contract but that is another matter entirely.” The lighthearted joke was a welcome reprieve from his merciless logic. A logic she had a hard time denying.
“What if I regret it? What if I am just making a mistake and I spurn everyone all over again?...I don’t think I can take that.” Her breathing was becoming shallow, sweat trickling down her brow.
“You might make a mistake.” He admitted. “And then again it might be the best decision you have made in your life. The only way to know for certain is to do it. No one will be spurned, I think everyone will be very understanding of why you might need to do it.” That…That was probably also true. “Do you think you can take never knowing what might have been?”
Rosa’s head slumped, her mind struggling to come up with counterarguments. Somehow this reminded her of her transition…and that had turned out well. Fuck…Was she really doing this? Rosa groaned, pulling on her face as indecision plagued her mind. “It's too difficult…I…” She knew the answer was to just jump into it. Hesitation was never going to help, moving forward was almost always correct. “Okay…” She just needed to say it.
The words waited on her tongue, and she forced them out. “I’m doing it.” It sounded unreal. “I am doing it.” She repeated, the words feeling a little more real. “I’m doing it.”
Quercus petted her on the head. “Then I would advise locking that answer in before you have time to change your mind. I will see you at the party later, maybe then you will actually tell me what this decision is about.”
Rosa stood up, electric excitement tingling through her limbs. “Right…yes, the party. I should hurry. See you there.” And with that, she turned and walked as quickly as she could, trails of doubt and the prospects of her future still battling in her head.
-Centhia, North New Bergen, Hab complex Ceria, 12.06.2555, 20:39-
The party had finally gotten around to eating the cake she had made, and Echina had to admit she felt a little proud that even Saccharu thought it tasted good. The florets had begged adorably for each slice, and once granted had enjoyed having it fed to them. Despite a great deal of teasing, Rosa had so far eaten all her slices on her own. Part of Echina dearly wished to rectify that, but then again that was something she had to grow accustomed to not being able to do any longer.
A warm and cozy atmosphere had dawned upon the living room, the florets cuddling against their respective owners. Both Rosa and Myrtaca had started to lean against her from either side, and she had wrapped her vines around both of them. It made her core thrum with joy, to think that she had been nervous about her future. It felt utterly silly now that she was surrounded by warm comfort and love on all sides.
There was only a slight hitch to the emotional utopia she was basking in: She couldn’t shake the feeling that Rosa was struggling with something. Several times over the course of the later evening she had seen Rosa on the verge of speaking before seemingly deciding against it. Had her terran still been her ward Echina would probably have forced out an answer by now…but that wasn’t possible anymore either. It was probably nothing too serious, but Echina didn’t like the foreboding feeling it gave her.
Discussions ebbed and flowed across the coffee table, and the sharing of funny and tragically funny moments were shared. The cake was reduced to crumbs and new snacks had to be complied. Veronica started to look mighty sleepy, yawning and clutching her plushie that Myrtaca had brought. Echina and Myrtaca spent some time adoring the little thing, teasing her with vines and showering her with relaxing pets. <You know, you are always welcome to visit…You can even stay if you want.> Myrtaca’s eyes were smoldering with affection. <We would both appreciate the company~> One of her vines teased Echina’s core.
“That sounds lovely,” Echina answered, responding in kind. Then her mind remembered the terran leaning up against her thigh as she talked politics with Kevin.
Myrtaca must have noticed her concern, but she only giggled. <Rosa can come along, you silly sap. Though so long as she is staying in my hab I will spoil her, no matter what you or she might have to say about it. It will probably do her tons of good, and it’s not like any xeno has ever been spoiled too much anyway.> The affini nuzzled a little closer into Echina’s embrace, taking great care to not disturb the very comfy floret in her own lap.
<Oh, I wont protest at all, so long as I get to contribute to the spoiling.> Echina giggled and gave Myrtaca a little kiss on the top of her head. The idea of staying with Myrtaca burrowed into her mind like a comforting root. Even if Rosa moved out and needed more time for herself, it would be wonderful to spoil her as if she was her floret, just for a few days at a time.
Just as the party started to close in on its waning hour, Rosa finally opened her mouth and spoke. “I have something I need to tell you all.” Her voice was resolute…and yet filled with hesitation. Echina gave her terran a little squeeze, encouraging her along. Whatever it was, she and Rosa could handle it.
Rosa hesitated for another second, swallowing, and then: “I have decided to leave Centhia, at least for a while.” Every particle in the room ceased its frivolous activity.
“I have come to the conclusion that I still have a lot of growing to do, and I don’t think I can do it here. The Prospectus will be leaving shortly after the conference, and I have requested a hab aboard.” Something cold and hollow was growing inside of Echina’s core as she sat there, silent, and unmoving. “The ship will be traveling to many of the other protectorate worlds here in the Milky Way, stopping by each for half a year at a time before continuing. I am still a bit nervous but the idea of seeing all those different worlds and people…I can’t wait.” She was leaving?
Rosa was…leaving? No…that…no! Rosa couldn’t just…She was leaving? But…but…
The feeling of regret and despair welled forward like a flood, overwhelming every other part of her. How she was able to maintain composure was utterly beyond her, as Echina sat there, still frozen like a rock. Trapped by her own form, Echina could do nothing but listen and watch as her precious terran answered the questions from the others. Rosa’s eyes were filled with an excitement Echina wasn’t sure she had seen before, and as she spoke about why she had chosen to leave another realization forced itself onto Echina like a dagger in her core.
This wasn’t just something Rosa wanted to do…It was something she needed to do. Echina couldn’t deny it…leaving would make Rosa happy. Being without her…would make Rosa happy. That is how it always has been. As Rosa looked up at her, trying to gauge her reaction, Echina managed to smile. “It sounds like you have thought about this a lot.” Please don’t leave…
Rosa nodded and smiled with more life than Echina had ever seen before. “I think it's just what I need to grow and make sure I don’t get stuck. I can’t always rely on someone like you to help pull me out of it.” She chuckled, giving Echina’s vines a big hug.
“You can’t leave, Rosa!” Veronica tackled Rosa with a hug, big tears forming on her eyes. “Please…don’t leave…” The floret stared up at the independent with big pleading eyes.
Rosa petted her friend gently. “Don’t worry, I will still be able to send you all plenty of messages, even if it will take some time for you to get them.”
Kevin was far more passive, his eyes slightly distant. “How long will you be gone?” There was a wounded longing there Echina knew all too well.
“A few years? Maybe more? I honestly don’t know.” Rosa sensed the need of her friend and beckoned him towards her. Kevin sniffled, and after Saccharu placed him in Rosa’s embrace he also began to cry.
Echina couldn’t stay where she was a second longer. The spell that had kept her frozen was broken and she could feel every part of her being pulled into the hollow feeling like a black hole had developed in her core. While the crying florets distracted Rosa, she slipped out and retreated into her study, closing the door behind her.
The first pained noise left her form, a desperate and sorrow-filled wail. There was no longer any focus left to keep her form maintained and Echina collapsed onto the floor in a pile of limp vines and wilted petals.
Rosa was going to leave…She was going to leave and…Would she even come back? The excited expression on her terran’s face flashed in her mind and she winced. Rosa wanted to grow…and that meant she needed to leave. Had she been too overbearing? Made too many mistakes? Or was this something that was always going to happen?
The door opened and Myrtaca stepped through, quickly closing it behind her. Why was she here? “Echina?...Oh…” The beautiful affini’s voice grew thick with concern.
Echina tried to put herself together and failed miserably. <I’m fine…you should be with Veronica a-> The other affini didn’t let her finish.
Instead, she kneeled down and hugged the pile that was Echina tight with a hundred vines. <Saccharu is making sure she is okay. Right now, you need my help more than her.> That wasn’t how it was supposed to work, but Myrtaca’s grip was inescapable. <I am here for you.>
Echina tried to pull herself together just a little, if only so she could lean against Myrtaca. <I don’t know what I will do without her…> The idea itself was so repulsive she couldn’t even process it. And of course, you can only think about yourself and how you feel. Echina shrunk inwards, pulling her vines together as her emotions continued to bash against her without end.
< It's going to be okay…and you could always ask to go with her.> Myrtaca tightened her grip and for a moment Echina felt relief.
Then the brutal reality of the situation pushed her back into cold darkness. <No…No, I can’t do that. I am not her owner…> The words stung as she uttered them. <I can’t follow her from planet to planet hoping for something that is never going to happen. Rosa obviously wants to do it alone,> How had she allowed this to happen? <and that is what she should do as well.> Being free of you is probably the best thing that can happen to her now.
Myrtaca’s face contorted into a grimace, and she wasn’t able to maintain eye contact. <That…That might be true…I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.> Echina almost wished her friend had refused her logic and somehow found a better way…but there was no better way.
How could she have been so stupid?! From the very first day she and Rosa had met Rosa had told her she had no intention of being a floret, and chastised her for making assumptions. She had respected it at first…or no…no, she hadn’t. Why else would she have found every excuse to meet her? It was like she had been waiting for an opportunity, for a tiny slip-up so she could take Rosa for her own. And when the opportunity came? She had taken it…and she almost hadn’t let go. By the Everbloom, how had she been so blind?
‘Sure, you don’t want resources…you want people !’ Rosa’s outraged words echoed in her mind and with them everything fell into place and apart at the same time. All of her senses grew distant as Echina retreated into herself, shivering at each scathing self-hating realization. She would never have given up on Rosa; that truth stung more than anything.
Rosa deserved better…she deserved so much better.
Notes:
All good things come to an end at some point, even relationships.
Next chapter might be a little while seeing as there is a lot of political work and exams to be done.
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