Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

My phone starts ringing. It’s Izana. “Kakucho, can you come to the warehouse?”  He asks me in a way that sounds important.

“Sure, I’ll be right there.” I hop on my bike and drive to our meeting spot. Izana and the Haitani brothers were already there. Ran has something in between a smirk and a smile on his face and Rindou is smirking like they both know something that I don’t or they are planning something. Knowing them, it is probably both. I roll my eyes. 

“Do you want to get to know your old friend, Kakucho, what’s his name again? Takemichi, right? Well, we were planning to visit his apartment to get some information on him.” Izana says, who hasn’t turned around yet and is still facing the window. I internally groan and walk to the computer. “Kakucho, what are you doing?” Izana asks, concern fills his voice. 

“If we are going to sneak into his house, then we have to know when he will be home and when he is not.” I can’t believe that we are doing this, but Takemichi always said that I can’t ignore my curiosity, even if it gets me in trouble. What can I say? It’s true and I do want to know how he has been over the years. After a while, I am able to hack into his phone and see that there are a few text messages from someone named Chifuyu about a meeting. 

“We can do it tonight, but we will have to make it quick cause there is a meeting tonight and I don’t see any information on how long it will last.” I turn around to look at the other three. I smirk. I can’t wait to see what kind of information we can find out about Takemichi. 

We all hop on our motorcycles and drive to an alley that was nearby to where Takemichi lived, but it is very deserted and hides us well, if anyone passes through. I look down. This is the alley Takemichi would take me to when we both needed a break from our shit ass families before my parents were killed in an accident. I look up and see Izana watching me and I know that I will be questioned later. I look at my watch and see that it is almost time for Takemichi to go to the meeting. I see him pass by, in front of the alley. Ran is whining to Rindou. I don’t think he saw us. I wait a few more minutes, before starting to walk towards his apartment. I look back to see if they are following me and it takes them some time to realize that I moved. 

“Kakucho, you were supposed to wait for us.” Ran whined and Rindou rolled his eyes. I turned around and started walking again. This time I heard them all following me. We reach his apartment and I pick the lock. As soon as I open the door and we walk in, Ran goes speechless for the first time and I can see why. Damn, this place looks abandoned. I wonder why? 

“Kakucho, are you sure that this is the right place?” Rindou questions. 

“I’m positive that this is his place.” I reply quieter than I would have preferred. I start walking around and find one room that looks like someone actually lives here. It seems like it would be Takemichi’s room. I look around for anything that could be useful to learn about him and maybe spill some secrets and learn who we are up against. Something on the bookshelf catches my eye. There are 5 books that are labeled with only numbers 1 through 5. I pick up the one that is labeled 1 and flip to a random page and read it. This book seems like a journal. I pick up the other books and flip through them. They all seem to be a journal or a continuous story. I put them all in my pocket and looked around some more. I noticed that the only pictures that he has include his friends and people from Toman, but there is no sign of his parents. Are they still traveling a lot for business? If they are, then why is no one staying and taking care of him? His parents have the money to pay someone to take care and make sure he doesn’t get in trouble. Does his parents even know that he is part of a gang or has he not told them cause he isn’t close to them at all? I wonder and look at my watch. 35 minutes have passed. I walk out of his room and tell Izana, Ran, and RIndou that it is time to leave. 

On the way out Izana asks me if I found anything and I hesitate for a split second before pulling one of the books out of my jacket. He looks at me like I am stupid. I sigh.

“It was written by Takemichi and it looks like a journal. There are 5 total.” I continue walking, so I don’t have to see his face because I just want to sit down and go to bed, after multiple nights without much sleep. 

Once we reach the warehouse, I try to push my way to my room to crash, but Rindou and Izana stop me with Ran watching what happens. “Why is your coat so bulky and bumpy?” Rindou asks. I pull out the journals and set them on the table before I start walking to my room. Before I reach my room, though, everything goes black. 

Chapter Text

I wake up, laying on my bed and the curtains are open a little bit. I assume that it is closer to noon, but it couldn’t be because I always get up early and I am a light sleeper, so I should have been up at my usual time. I must have just fallen asleep before the sun started to set and it is only 30 minutes to a few hours later. I look around to get up again, when I see Izana sitting by my bed with a worried look on his face. Looking worried doesn’t look good on him, but in a way he seems to pull it off. Not that I ever want to see that look on his face ever again. Ran walks in, followed by Rindou. 

“Is he up yet?” Ran asks Izana. Who is he talking about? He looks over to my bed and sees me awake and grins. The worried look he wore when he walked in, started to fade when he saw that I was awake. Rindou goes to open the curtains and sunlight blazes in like a burning fire. My head immediately starts to spin and hurts like hell that has been frozen over, then burned. 

“Can someone close the blinds?” I mutter, angrily and harshly, and I guess someone heard me because the blinding light was soon gone. My head stopped hurting and spinning almost instantly. I swing my legs over the side of the bed when I feel a hand on my shoulder. It’s Izana.

“You need to rest. You fainted last night after we got back.” I was so confused. Didn’t I just take a quick nap? My confusion must have shown on my face because he continued on. “When we got back last night, you passed out. You have been knocked out since. It is now 1 in the afternoon.” What the fuck are you talking about? He laughs at the expression I make, while trying to process what he just said. 

I get up and this time I don’t allow Izana to tell me to sit back down and walk to the kitchen. This time both of the Haitani brothers and Izana try to get me to sit and lay back down, but I push them aside. I can’t focus on anything and I just let my legs carry me to the kitchen, where I grab a glass of water and a piece of bread. I look up and see the journals. They seem like a good distraction right now. Just as I pick the first one up, Izana, Ran, and Rindou walk in. 

“Can we join you?” Izana asks. I gesture them over, not lifting my eyes from the first page. I am stuck on the first few sentences. They are weird and confusing to process. Ran takes the book from my hand and starts reading out loud. 

“Life is shit, pure fucking shit. I should probably start at the beginning. My name is Takemichi Hanagaki and I am supposably 26 in my 14 year old body. I guess the proper term is a time traveler. I am still confused about the details.” What the damn fuck? “I am probably just going to use this journal to record everything that happens with the time leaping as therapy. 

In the first timeline, I didn’t do anything that helped anyone. I guess you could say that I was a bully. I was the one person in my friend group who sat back and watched my friends pick on others. I think I did it and joined in because I wanted to be seen. I also wanted someone to scold me and tell me not to pick on them. But that never happened. My father was killed by my mother in one of her drunken, psychopathic fits when I was 7. She dropped me off with my aunt and uncle, (her brother and his wife). I think I was there for a few months, before they were shot. My opinion, that was the worst place I ever stayed at. At first, they ignored me. I had to learn how to cook, treat my own wounds, and anything else that adults would typically do for young children. After a week, they started bringing me to the club that they owned. 

They stayed at the club for days on end, only to sleep in the VIP room, when they did sleep. During the day, they would host all of the rich and anyone who wanted to let loose. Drunk adults are horrible. They raped me and no one cared. I told my aunt and uncle that people were touching me and it made me uncomfortable, but they said that it was probably nothing and that it was normal for others to touch others. I guess that was when I started hating physical touch or people touching me in any kind of way, even if it was an accident. 

When school started, I picked out a school that was the farthest from the club and my aunt and uncle. When I got to the club, after school one day, there were no buildings around. There were also police officers and my mother standing where the club was supposed to be. 

“There was an accident here and your aunt and uncle didn’t survive.” A police officer told me, trying not to be too harsh. I had to pretend like I was upset, even if I didn’t care much. What can I say, they were horrible to me from the start, so I didn’t know or care about them.” 

“Wait, he didn’t care that his family was dead?” That is sad, but understandable. It is so weird because everything that we have heard about him says that he tries to save as many people as possible.” Rindou points out, which makes me wonder because Takemichi always has tried to help others and it affected him if he couldn’t help/save anyone. What has changed from then to now? No one had an answer. 

Chapter Text

Ran starts reading again. “My mom then takes me to my grandmother’s place. That was definitely the nicest place I have ever lived in. At first, I only came out of my room to make something for myself, but I made enough for her to have some and wouldn’t have to cook for herself. One day, like usual, I came out of the room I stayed in and cooked breakfast for both of us. Instead of taking the food to my room, I sat at the table, with a book next to me and ate the food I cooked. I finished the food and started reading my book when she came in. She looked terribly pale, and skinnier than when I first arrived. She looked a bit shocked that I was at the table, but then she smiled. A warm, bright simile, like she was happy that I was sitting there. It made me curious though. Why would she care if I was at the table or not? I really don’t matter much. At least that is what mother, Aunt Kaida, and Uncle Asa have always said.  

She decides to take me outside. She has a really nice house. It is an actual house outside of Tokyo, which might have been the reason it took so long to drive there. She brings me to a bridge that is surrounded by water. To the side, there was a huge waterfall and below and on the other 3 sides, you see the river that flows into the waterfalls. It is very relaxing and peaceful. I sometimes still go there to visit and to clear my mind. She tells me stories about my mother, father, and my siblings who ran away from home when I was 4 or 5, who I don’t remember much about, except that they were extremely violent at times and Melany was about 6 years older and Haruko was 2 years older than Melany, or 8 years older than me. 

Haruko, who was older than Melany, but they always were known as little troublemakers, actually loved to create. His favorite things to create were sculptures of people or living objects from items he could find in nature. 

Melany, like her name, loved to sneak up on people. My grandfather always called her the jaguar, because like the cat, she was quiet, sneaky, and was a fierce predator.  Grandmother said that I was most like my father, who was extremely kind, selfless, and helpful. Am I really that selfless if I wanted my aunt and uncle dead, a little bit and that is the fate that they got. I guess I relied on those words, anytime I time leaped anymore. 

My siblings have made a name for themselves in any timeline, since they ran away. Melany is about 19, while Haruko is about 21. They have been banned from the eastern part of Asia. They have murdered people. They also have threatened and stole. Melany is the brains and also works the best with guns. Haruko is the one who will carry out Melany’s plans because he knows how to fight the best physically. Mother had us all learn how to defend ourselves in multiple ways. Everyone got physical training, but Melany and I chose different ways as additional training. Shooting was Melany’s choice, while I chose knives. 

I continued practicing throwing knives until after my grandmother’s death, when my mother bought an apartment in the middle of Tokyo. After my grandmother’s death, my mother dropped me off in the apartment. I begged her to stay, but she ended up walking away, without a look back. Ran stopped reading and I was completely speechless. What the damn fuck has he been through? This is only his childhood, and he has become part of the gang world, so what other shit has he gone through? Do I even want to know what else he has gone through? Everyone is speechless, and the masks that everyone has worn, dropped. 

Rindou voices my thoughts, and I can see Ran becoming pissed and tries to hide it. I laugh inside because he acts and seems like he would be more sadistic, but in reality, that is Rindou. Ran is the one to try to protect people as much as possible, especially when he knows that they are suffering. 

Chapter Text

Ran 

How dare they hurt and abandon someone who is so kind and selfless? Those people are assholes. I try to hide my anger, but I can tell that everyone here can see it. 

“Maybe, we should take a little break from reading right now and there is some time to think about what we have just read because there needs to be a little bit of a break to process everything. I have a feeling that it will only get worse before there is any chance that it gets better.” Rin says, hesitantly. I look at my brother with a little bit of concern because he usually talks with confidence, and only talks hesitantly when there is something that is bothering him. It probably is the journals, but I will check on him later, to see if it will affect him too much or if he should not listen to us read. But he is completely stubborn. Must be a family trait because every Haitani that I have ever met is extremely stubborn. He will want to listen and I can’t stop him. He is old enough to make his own choices. 

“Sure, I think that would be the best idea right now. “ Izana says, his eyes glistening with tears. He probably related to Hanagaki so much while I was reading. Both have been left alone by people that they considered family and had to raise themselves. I get up and walk to my room. Curse words are flying out of my mouth while I am walking. Curse words for his family. Curse words for myself and Rindou for beating up some of his friends. Curse words for Hanagaki himself, for being so selfless. 

As soon as I reach my room and close the door, I punch the wall to try and let out my anger that has built up over the last 20 minutes. It feels good, like I am beating up everyone who has wronged the people I care about or abuses others for fun. The door slowly opens. I probably look extremely psychotic right now. 

It ends up only being Rin. I stop hitting the wall and he comes over to me. He grabs me and pulls me into a hug, just like he used to do when we were younger. Sometimes I forget that he is only 16. I hold him while we sit in silence. He pulled back and grabbed my fists, only to see them covered in blood. He lets go of my fists, before walking out. He comes back a few minutes later with a first aid kit. 

He dragged me to the couch that was in the room and started to nurse my hands, just like how I did for him, when he would come home with bloody hands and other bruises. We sit in silence, before he pulls me into another hug. I can feel him burying his face into my chest, before soaking my shirt with his tears. Tears he doesn’t allow anyone, except people he trusts completely see. 

“How could they do something like that to him? He seems like he cares too much. Is it a result from how he was raised or did some other shit occur in his life that has made him so selfless?” Rindou asks me, while I rub his back. 

“I don’t know why people are messed up like that, Rin, but I know that if I ever meet some of those people. I will beat the living shit out of them and make their lives pure hell.” Rindou looks up at me. 

“Would you allow me to join you at least for a little bit?” He asks with hopeful eyes. 

“For the most part, yes, you would be able to join me. If I think that it is getting too harsh or there are somethings that I don’t want you to see, then that is where I draw the line.” I meet his eyes with a stern glare. He nods to show that he is okay with that. He buries his head back in my chest before I notice that he has fallen asleep on me. I pick him up and place him on my bed, before I go and lay next to him to think about the shit I read and some of the shit that Rindou and I have gone through to get to the place that we are today. There isn’t time for regret, but regret sometimes creeps in. It makes me wonder what me and Rindou could be doing with our lives, if we didn’t have the repetition that we have created for ourselves over the years. After some thinking, I feel myself slowly falling asleep. Damn, there is a lot of shit that has been happening lately. I remember thinking before being woken up by some knocking at the door. Izana and Kakucho walk in and they see my arm wrapped around a sleeping Rin and I give them a death stare, warning them not to wake him up. I think they got the message, because they were about to walk out the door when Rindou woke up. 

He sees Izana and Kakucho in the doorframe and sits up and snuggles into my arm some more. He doesn’t seem to be ashamed of his actions right now because we both trust them. I know that they have become my family, even if I won’t admit it out loud and I think Rindou sees them in the same way. Kakucho looks a bit defeated and tired, while Izana is looking at the ground, not making any eye contact with anyone. 

“Dinner is ready.” Izana mumbles, still looking at the ground.

“What got you in a knot?” Rindou asks Izana, while rubbing his eyes, trying to get used to the lighting of the room. Izana looks up, shocked. I guess he is still not used to Rin’s weird way of speaking. Kakucho is trying not to laugh. Izana looks at Kakucho and sees that he is trying not to laugh and slaps him across the back of the head before turning around and walking out of my room. Rin gets up and drags me out of the bed and to the kitchen. 

Chapter Text

Ran (still) 

Rin and I arrive in the kitchen and see Izana and Kakucho on the floor, neither of them eating their food. We sit down and eat in silence, for the ones who do eat. Everyone is deep in thought. “After we all finish eating, should we continue reading?” Rin asks out of the blue. We all get up and go sit down. Kakucho picks up the journal and starts reading. 

“On my eighth birthday, I met two very interesting people,” Kakucho starts laughing. Why is he fucking laughing? I wonder and it looks like Rindou and Izana have the same idea.Kakucho starts reading again. “The Haitani brothers.” I look at Rindou and we make eye contact, asking each other when we met Hanagaki and if the other remembers that day. It doesn’t seem like either of us do.

“Night was falling and I can’t remember what the hell I was doing in Roppongi. I remember buying a small purin dessert and sitting on a bench. After a while, right before I was about to leave, they came over. They started to say something, but then stopped themselves for some reason. Weirdest thing is that they then sat down next to me on the bench. They seemed like extremely respected people. I started to get up when I felt someone grab my arm. I tensed up, before looking around as much as I could. 

It was the older one, who I learned later in life is named Ran, had one hand wrapped around my wrist, like he didn’t want me to leave, at least without asking me something. “Where are you going?” He asked me. I wanted to stay, but I knew that it wasn’t the safest area, especially with how young I was at the time. I told him that I was going home. Lie. I was going nowhere, but I also didn’t want them to become bored of me, so I knew that I had to leave before they got bored and lost interest in me.

I think he might have seen through me because he pulled me closer and pulled me into a hug. I held back as much as I could, so I didn’t start crying and ruin his shirt. I didn’t want him to let go of me. It was the first time since my grandmother died that I was hugged, and maybe the tenth time up to that point.” Wait actually, I helped him and made him feel better? I can now remember that day. A small child, who looked extremely young, was sitting by himself on the bench. That was Hanagaki? He looked so helpless and about ready to take his own life. I start to listen back in.

“After he let go of me I started walking away, but before I was out of their sight, I said thank you to them. It was the first time that I have ever felt safe and loved. It would be selfish if I asked for some more and besides, he had to take care of his brother. That is a memory that I can never forget because it was the first time anyone, besides my grandmother, showed me a little bit of kindness and didn’t ignore or hate me on sight. But it does make me seriously wonder, why would he or anyone else who is nice to me, care or want to be nice to a burden like myself?” Izana just looks at me, shock is written on his face and it almost makes me laugh. 

“You can be nice?” He asked, like he couldn’t believe that the word nice was in my vocabulary. 

“Do you seriously think that little of me? I am still human, you know.” I say sarcastically, mock hurt covers my face and I bring my hand to my heart. “That hurts, Izana, that hurts.” He looks at me in pretend annoyance. 

“Ok, forget that I asked.” He holds his hands up in surrender, mock annoyance still covers his face. Rindou smiled a genuine smile, while Kakucho laughed. These are the memories that I enjoy the best because it is rare that Izana allows himself to have fun and for Kakucho to allow himself to show that he is enjoying whatever is going on is even rarer. After Kakucho stopped laughing and we all composed ourselves, Kakucho started reading again with a smile on his face. 

“When I went to school the next morning, there was a kid who was getting beat up. I went over to try and help the kid get away. I pick up a rock and throw it at the bullies. It hits them in the head.” Kakucho's smile drops while he is reading, making him look like he remembered this scene and it wasn’t a good one. I notice that his foot starts tapping, lightly and quickly. A sign that he is nervous or anxious. Izana notices it as well. He puts a hand on Kakucho’s knee, which causes Kakucho to flinch, before relaxing a little bit. Kakucho continues to read. 

“They drop him and I can see blood dripping down his face. His neck looks like someone tried to choke him because there are deep red, almost purple marks that were in the shape of a hand. 

Izana - 

“I help the boy stand up and give the bullies a mean look. They promise revenge one day. And revenge is what came one day. After they leave, he says that he had it and gives off vibes that say, “leave me alone. I don’t want to be hurt anymore.” I decided to skip school and bring him to a bench. I pull out the first aid kit I learned to bring with me anywhere and start helping him.” I feel like I should know who this is. Why does he sound familiar? He kinda reminds me of Kakucho, especially with that attitude. Didn’t Kakucho say that he was childhood friends with Takemichi once? “I work in silence and I can feel him looking at me. When I was done, I looked up and met his eyes. They are filled with surprise, like they couldn’t believe that a random stranger would help them. I smile at him, before getting up and starting to walk away.” Kakucho’s voice starts shaking, like he was remembering it, which makes me think that he is the kid who isn’t named yet. “After a few seconds, he asks me what my name is, hesitantly. I tell him with a smile and then ask what his is. Kakucho, he replies and smiles.”  

“You were bullied?” Rindou asks, anger creeps into his words. Kakucho shrugs and looks now. 

“No”, he draws out sarcastically. “I just loved getting choked and beat up. Is it really that surprising? And besides the past is the past. If I got bullied or not doesn’t matter anymore because it doesn’t affect anyone.” 

“But why didn’t you tell someone?” I ask him, knowing that it hurts more if you don’t talk about the bullying with someone that you trust or write it down somewhere. Also does he think that little of himself, that it doesn’t matter if he was bullied. Does he want to forget about it or does he think that we will think of him as weak? 

"Like I said before, the past is the past and it doesn’t matter if I was bullied.” I could hear the words “and hurt” come after he cut himself off, like he wanted to continue. I can’t believe it, he does think that little of himself. It still, after all this time, hurts him and he doesn’t say anything. I see that both Rindou and Ran are starting to get a little angry at his words and that Ran is thinking the same thing as me - that Kakucho has little self respect and low self esteem. Kakucho speaks up again. “Besides, I don’t think that people would bully me anymore because of the people I consider fam- sorry the people that I hang out with.” Wait, who does he consider as family? Is it Rindou, Ran, and I because he spends time with each of us, mostly as a group, or is it other people that he is talking about? If so, then who does he consider family? I will find out one day.   

Chapter Text

Kakucho -

Kakucho “Does anyone else want to read?” I ask, while holding the journal out. Rindou takes it, when my mind starts to wonder.

"Thank you for helping me back there." I say to Takemichi, who just nods with a smile on his face. A few days later, we ran into each other again. He is sitting on a swing set in a nearby park, looking lost in thought. I start to walk over, but then question if he would want me to join him or not. While I was questioning myself, he looked up and saw me. He waves at me, his face brightens with a smile. I see it and wave back. I start walking over to say hello and maybe to spend time with him, but know that he probably doesn’t want to spend time with me.

“How are you, Kakucho?” He asks as soon as I arrive. I give him a thumbs up and smile.

“Good, you?” He replies with the same answer and looks in the direction of the sunrise. We sat there in silence for a while, which for some reason didn’t feel awkward.

“I should start to get going.” He says after a while.

“Where are you going?” I ask because I am curious and I also should get going to school. He names the school and I realize that it is the same school that I go to. I started to get excited, maybe I could get to know him better.

“That’s where I go to school. Do you want to walk together? If not, it is fine.”

“Sure.” He smiles. At that moment, my mind returns to the present and I realize that Rindou was speaking and Izana and Ran were looking at me, a question floating around in their eyes. Everything ok? I nod slightly, enough to be seen if people were looking for it, but otherwise not extremely noticeable.

“...we kept meeting and later became friends. One day, when he ended up in the hospital and I was visiting him, there was a young boy who was about my age in a wheelchair. He is crying. I go over to say hello and to ask what is wrong. After a few minutes, he told me that he isn’t expected to live to adulthood because his heart is failing and not working in certain parts, so he had to stay in the hospital for a few days.” Oh, that is where he went that day. I think. “The doctors also told his parents that his legs are weak and probably won’t be able to stand or walk or do anything like that ever again. While he told me, he let it slip that his family is broke, so they can’t allow him to get the surgery for him to have a chance to walk or do anything like that ever again. We talked for a little bit about some random stuff, before I went to visit Kakucho and I knew that I was going to help the boy, named Takuya Yamamoto. Everyday when I would visit Kakucho, I would also try to make time to visit Takuya as well. One day, when I entered, Takuya was about to leave with his parents before he saw me. He was walking with crutches and I knew that helped him walk with the money I put into their bank account after I hacked into it. I knew it wasn’t right to hack, but I also knew that they wouldn’t accept any money from a complete stranger. He starts walking over to me, a little wobbly, but still walking and tells me with excitement that someone donated enough money for his surgery, but they didn’t know who sent it. It made me so happy that I helped someone and made them smile. He tells me that he wishes that he could have thanked the person, but little did he know that he just did. I made sure that he never found out that I was the person behind it. He gives me a hug and thanks me for visiting him everyday and asks if we could stay friends. I told him that I would like that and gave him my number. He gave me his mother’s number and smiled before leaving with his parents. A few months after that day, I introduce my only friends. Kakucho seemed to be a bit jealous, at first and Takuya seemed like he was nervous and didn’t really like Kakucho. I can’t blame him much because Kakucho put up his “leave me alone” mask that he seems to put up in any new situation or with people he doesn’t trust completely. They ended up bickering a lot that day, but by the end, they were getting along and Kakucho wasn’t at Takuya’s throat anymore, Takuya was just ignoring him."

I really was horrible to Takuya that day, but I was scared that he would take Takemichi away from me. Takemichi was one of the only people who were nice to me at the time. Takemichi was talking about him a lot then. I knew that I wasn’t going to be the easiest when we met, so there wasn’t a chance that Takemichi would leave me, but I just made it harder on myself because Takemichi still stayed friends with him and tried to talk to both of us and stopped it from getting too physical after I punched Takuya in the face.Takuya turned out to be a great guy and after the car crash, both of them tried to visit me at the orphanage. After a few months, Takuya said that his parents weren’t going to allow him to visit anymore because they moved father from the orphanage and his health started declining again. Takemichi still came and brought letters that Takuya wrote for me. One day, I got angry at Takemichi and told him to leave me alone. I didn't see him after that until a few weeks ago. Seeing him brought back so many memories of kindness and smiles, that it hurt. I ended up doing what I know how to do and put up a mask of indifference.

“Over time, those two started to get closer and then in my second year, a car crash killed Kakucho’s parents. He was the only survivor, but his face was beaten badly. On the left side, the doctors had to make a cut, which left him with the long scar he has, to remove some of the pieces of glass that broke from the window and got embedded right about his left eye.” I wince. That shit was painful. I can’t remember much of the crash, but it probably is for the better. “Kakucho ended up in an orphanage, the same one as Izana, but I’ll talk about him later. Takuya and I visited every day, until one day when Takuya’s parents moved and it became too far for Takuya to walk to. Both of his parents worked during the day and his father worked night shifts as well. He started writing letters for Kakucho and would ask me if I could drop them off to Kakucho. I agreed and he smiled so much when Kakucho would write a letter back or would tell me to tell Takuya something. I think those two became closer than I ever did with either of them or any one else that I have gotten close to. One day when I was visiting him, there was a kid with white hair who was talking to him, so I waited until he was alone to talk to him because I didn’t want to interrupt. When I went to talk to Kakucho, he got mad at me and told me to leave him alone. I did, and of course I never saw him again, at least in that timeline. After crying a little bit, I guess that is when I started to be considered to be a crybaby, I went to visit Takuya who was back in the hospital because his heart stopped working for a few seconds. I think that was the first time he was named dead before his heart started working again.” Rindou stops reading for a second and Izana pulls me into a hug. Ran joins, and so does Rindou. We sat there for a few minutes, before Izana took the journal from the table, where Rindou placed it.

Chapter Text

Kakucho 

“Over the years, Takuya became friends with a few others, some he tried to get me to hang out with, while others he never tried to introduce us. He was the one to introduce me toYamagishi and Makoto. At first, I didn’t trust them and didn’t say much to them because they were Takuya’s friends. I remember one day Takuya blowing up at me because I wasn’t giving them a chance. He thought that I would like them and that they wanted to be friends with me.  After that day, I tried harder to be nicer, but I still didn’t want to get close to them because I knew that if I got close to them, there would be a higher chance that they would get bored of me and leave. Over time, I allowed myself to open up to them and then we got introduced to Akkun. 

He was expelled from his previous school and probably was the biggest bully, but also had the biggest heart. Takuya, Yamagishi, Makoto, and I were picking on some kids, trying to improve our “gang”. In reality we just made ourselves the biggest bullies in the school. The day we met Akkun, Makoto accidentally ran into Akkun and Akkun threatened to beat him up. I don’t think that it was supposed to be a threat because he seemed to mean it. 

He told us to meet him in the back of the school during lunch. We went and as soon as we arrived, he started beating Makoto up and that was the first time that I have seen that much blood. Makoto had blood dripping from a cut right below his eyebrow. There was blood from his nose and Akkun’s blood spilled from his knuckles. After a few minutes, I intervened and pulled Akkun off of Makoto. As soon as I grabbed him to pull him off, he elbowed me, so I would loosen my grip and start punching my face, anger gleaming in his eyes. I let him hit me until he was satisfied because I knew that I probably deserved it. He yelled and asked why I didn’t fight back. When it registered that I wasn’t fighting back, he slowed down to the point where he wasn’t hitting me anymore. He apologized and I just gave him a small smile, the best I could do with the way my face got deranged. 

We all walked to our next class and the teacher asked me what happened to my face. I told her that it isn’t any of her business. She kept pestering me about it and at a certain point, I told her to fuck off and leave me alone. As a result, I ended up with 2 days of in school suspension. Takuya, Yamagishi, and Makoto visited everyday, once skipping because who cared about school at the time. Looking back, I wished I cared more about school because maybe I wouldn’t have grown up to be a failure and a loser. When I went back to school, Akkun was the first to walk up to me and asked me why I didn’t tell on him to the teachers and that he would have taken the punishment that he would have deserved. I smiled and walked to my class, not looking back. 

After that, he started hanging around us more, but still keeping his distance. A few months of him keeping his distance, I brought him over and said that all was forgiven, even though Makoto was still hurting. He looked like someone who needed some kindness and someone that he could rely on. Makoto and the rest of them accepted over time that I wouldn’t change my mind about the choice I made, so they left it alone, even if they didn’t forgive him at the time yet.” 

“Why does he always get involved with dangerous people? First, his family, then Akkun, and now most of the people in the gang world that he has interacted with.” I ask no one in particular, with a sigh. Izana starts reading again after a few minutes of silence.  

“Over the years, we start getting into more trouble. Akkun becomes the leader of the group. Everyone, including Akkun, wanted me to be the leader because they said that I know how to keep the group together and stop any fights that occurred, but I said no, so the others elected Akkun as the leader and myself as second in command. Akkun tried to deny it, but in the end, he knew that the other three couldn’t be a leader at least not yet because of their maturity. Takuya is middle ground, but Yamagishi, even though he is the smartest, and Makoto are the least mature out of all of us, making jokes about some of the stupidest things and in not the most appropriate situations. 

One day, we tried to fight a group of people, who we didn’t know at the time were members of Toman. We lost and ended up as their slaves, people who fought anytime people wanted entertainment. That occurred for years, until after we all graduated high school and I moved away and lost contact with all of them. During that year, twelve years before my life started going down even more, I broke up with my girlfriend, Hinata Tachibana. After I move, I get a crappy job and a crappy apartment. 

Fast forward twelve years, as I am watching the news on July 4th, I see that there is an accident caused by Toman. Hina and her brother, Naoto are killed. I continue on with my life for another day before I get pushed in front of a train. That was the first time I traveled back in time. I ended up twelve years in the past,” Izana stopped. 

“What the damn fuck? Time travel doesn’t exist. He must have just lost his mind.” Izana finally speaks again after moments of silence. 

“I don’t know why, but I have a feeling that he is right. He is using real people and real events, at least up to a certain point.” I mutter to myself and everyone, except Rindou who is looking down, looks at me, like I have lost my mind. Guess I wasn’t as quiet as I thought I was. 

“Should we just continue to read? If it ends up being just a made-up story, then we get an inside view of his mind and mental state.” Rindou whispered. 

“Who wants to read now?” Izana asks. 

“I’ll read again, but should we have a quick break to process everything, before we get more information, which would make it harder to process.” Ran speaks up. We all agree to take a break. Everyone gets up to do other things, while I stay seated, lost in thought. I pull out a cigarette to help my mind focus.

Chapter Text

Izana 

After Ran called the break, I got up from where I was sitting and headed to my room, only to pull out my guitar. I start strumming and putting different cords together, while I attempt, key word, attempt to gather my thoughts. My thoughts become nonexistent as I play. After playing for a while, I stop playing and get up, thinking that it would have been enough time for the break because I really wanted to know how he has changed from the person we are seeing in the journal and the person that we all see in the gang world. I reach the sitting room and I see Kakucho still in the same spot. The smell of a burning cigarette burns through the air, and I notice that Kakucho looks like he isn’t focusing on anything and is deep in thought. He also had a cigarette in his hand. Guess I’m not kissing him for a few days. But he has been trying to stop as much as possible, so I guess I will allow it to slide for right now. I think to myself, before walking around, so I am right behind Kakucho and wrap my arms around him as a hug.

He jumped so bad, that I started to feel bad. He turned around quickly and looked at me for a few seconds before realizing that it was just me and started to relax. I move around the couch and sit next to him. He lays his head on my shoulder and I realize that he has just been crying, even if he won’t admit it. I wrap an arm around him. He sighs quietly, like I have just lifted a burden off of his shoulders, just by being here. 

“I didn’t ever realize that he went through that much or that Takuya and I were his first friends.” His voice is a bit hoarse and knowing him, he will stop talking as soon as he gets interrupted, so I let him speak. “I think he may have mentioned it once, but I have never given it a thought. I took his kindness and friendship for granted and used his help, but in the end, he was the one who suffered and needed help the most.” He starts quietly crying again and it makes me think that this has been going through his head for a while now and didn’t allow anyone to see it and help him. 

“You were young, and you probably did help in ways that you knew how. I think just becoming friends with him helped a lot. I know it helped a little bit for me when I made you my servant and we started hanging out together. I was incredibly lonely because everyone either picked on me or ignored me and wanted nothing to do with me. Once you came into my life, it started getting better because there was someone who wanted to spend time with me and didn’t just want nothing to do with me.” I said while rubbing his back. 

I notice that Ran and Rindou walk in. They see us and go sit down in the same spots that they were sitting in earlier. Ran pulled out his phone and Rindou got up and went to a hidden spot in the room where he practices aerial acrobatics. They seem to be trying to be as quiet as possible and are trying to give Kakucho and I some space, both of them know that none of us like to show weakness in front of anyone, even each other. I go back to focusing on trying to calm Kakucho down, but also allowing him to express everything that he is feeling right now. 

My hand is still rubbing his back when Kakucho finally calms down and comes back to reality. He first sees Ran, who is sitting almost across from him still looking down at his phone, before seeing Rindou in the middle of flipping and spinning on his aerial silks. He looks up to me and without any sound, a thank you falls out of his lips and a small smile. I smile back. Why does he have to tell me thank you? He has helped me so much since we met. It is only proper that I return the favor and be here for whenever he needs help, mentally or physically. 

“Should we start reading again?” Kakucho asks, not looking at anyone, but also trying to make his voice sound normal, which he is doing a great job at because it doesn’t sound like he has just been crying, except when his voice cracked once right after he started speaking. Rindou comes over and sits next to Ran and Ran picks up the journal and starts reading. 

“Everything that first happened, happened again up until the night after we became slaves of Toman. After I got up, I went to visit Hina because I couldn’t remember what she looked like. I arrive at her house and knock on her door. She opens the door and I lose control of my emotions. Tears start falling and she asks if I got into another fight. She was always so caring and selfless but was the person to smack anyone to knock some sense into others. I don’t know what I ever did in my miserable life to deserve her. I tell her that I have to go, before I go to a nearby park. 

At the park, there are a few kids there. They seemed to be bullying someone else. I walk up to the group and break the end of a glass bottle, before pointing it at the people who are bullying a kid with short, black hair. 

They run away and I sit next to the young boy. He thanks me and I ask him his name. It turned out to be Naoto, Hina’s little brother. I somehow end up telling him to protect Hina and to remember the date July 1st. We shake hands and I travel back to the future. I’m at the train station, laying down. The station master walks in and greets me and tells me that he is glad that I am awake. A man about 1-2 years younger than myself walks in. He seems to either have a lot of money because he was in an expensive suit. He asks the station master if we could have some privacy, in a way that seemed more like a request. The station master walks out and he “introduces'' himself. Seems like I already knew him. 

It was Naoto. We sat for a little while and chatted. He told me that Hina died again, but time travel is probably real and that he had a theory that he could activate some of the time travel and we tried it. He gave me a new goal, which failed miserably. Stop Mikey and Kisaki from meeting.”

Chapter Text

Izana -

“That didn’t end up working at all.” Kakucho mumbles to himself, which I hear because he is still laying on me from earlier. 

“Can you repeat that Kako? We couldn’t hear what you said over here.” Ran speaks up with a tiny bit of a teasing tone. 

Surprisingly, Kakucho repeats himself. “I said that his plan didn’t work that well because Kisaki ended up as a leader of Toman and I am just curious, but what did you call me?” I think he was just pretending to be annoyed and upset, because at least to me, there sounded like there was an undertone of a joke. Ran looks at him with his usual smug grin on his face.

“Kako.” He said, before picking the book up to start reading again. 

“It ended up working and I found out that it only sends me back exactly 12 years in the past. It was the day that my life started to turn around, but of course, I am still a failure. I ended up in the middle of a fight, just like the previous timeline. My friend group and myself are still slaves for Toman. I think in the end they went a little bit easier on me than normal, until I became stupid, because there was no audience to cheer them on. When they were about to leave, I asked if I could meet Mikey and Kisaki. That’s when I lost all self-preservation and basically all of the brain cells that I ever have had left me. 

Kiyomasa told someone to grab his bat and started beating me to the point where I was close to death. He said that he never wanted to hear Mikey’s name out of my filthy mouth ever again. I don’t think he was happy to find out that it was Mikey’s personal request for me to join Toman.” Ran chuckles to himself after reading that line because of how ironic that Takemichi is. Takemichi, the person who many gang members from many different gangs know of. Takemichi, the person who is a horrible fighter, but never backs down. That Takemichi is the same one that many people have heard of is the same one as this person that is being described in this journal?  

Rindou - 

Ran picked up where he left off before. “After they left, I ran and with my shitty luck, I ended up walking right past Kisaki, without ever realizing who he was. I head to Hina’s apartment to try and find Naoto. I knock on the door. No one answers. A few minutes later, when I was ready to leave, Hina walked up and saw me standing in front of her door. She asked me if I got in a fight again and that she would protect me because I can’t seem to be able to protect myself. The next day, Akkun is the one to find out that Takuya is the one who would be fighting that day. With his condition and not much skill in fighting, he was definitely the worst fighter of our friend group, but he did get better over time. Takuya turned to me and said that he will win, maybe to lift my spirits, or to lift his confidence, or maybe both. 

There seemed to be more people than usual when we got to the fighting ring. If he was at a fighting ring, wouldn’t he have learned how to fight better? Even during the “Bloody Halloween” as people call it, he wasn't able to fight that great. “The fight was about to start. I yelled to stop the fight from starting and without a second thought, I took Takuya’s place and I somehow got myself into a fight with Kiyomasa. He kept beating me up, and I never gave up. After a few minutes Mikey and Draken arrive. Draken beats up Kiyomasa not much, but looking back, it was a bit funny to see someone who has almost killed me before getting his ass whipped. While Draken was dealing with Kiyomasa, which didn’t last long, Mikey walked over to where I was. He asked me what my name was and changed it to Takemichy. That was also the day that I became friends with Mikey.  Kiyomasa got kicked out of Toman, even though it wasn’t clear at first.” That is a surprise that the “invincible Mikey” kicked someone out of a gang when that behavior is what gang members typically do. 

“ After the fight, while Makato and Yamagishi were trying to act out Mikey and Draken’s actions, Takuya joined in a few minutes later, Akkun told me that he planned to stab Kiyomasa if I didn’t get involved like did.” 

“Does anyone else want to read?” Ran holds the book out and I reach out to grab it. Shock and surprise quickly flash on Ran’s face as I grab the book. I laugh at his face. But it does make me wonder. Did he actually forget that I am sitting next to him or was he just surprised that I would want to read next.

“I’ll read.” I flip to the page that Ran left us on. “After Mikey declared me his friend, they showed up to my classroom, like they didn’t have a care in the world. They just waltzed into my classroom, while the teacher was talking, and they just called me out of class. I’m surprised that Mr. H allowed me to just leave, but he also knew that I skipped class sometimes, which I wish I didn’t now because I got a crap ass job at a dvd store. Mikey literally said to me right after he walked into my class, “Come out and play Takemichy.” Them showing up at my school and know which class I was in, scared the fuck out of me.” 

Izana starts laughing. He was laughing so hard that he ended up crying a little bit. Kakucho also looks like he is trying not to burst out laughing and was a little successful, but he couldn’t keep the smile off his face. 

“Hanagaki, actually cares about school and how much of a child is your brother Mikey?” Ran asked, a grin fills his face. 

“Don’t call him that.” Izana gives Ran a death glare, before becoming a bit more childish, somehow like his younger half-brother, even if he would never mention it. No one would believe that they are half siblings because of the way they act in public and their looks. I think he tries to hide how bipolar he is at times, especially in public. “I guess he doesn’t care about school, but it is funny the way he just bursts into Hanigaki’s classroom without a care in the world. Now, let's continue reading.” He says, still with a childish look on his face. How does Kakucho ever say no to him? I wonder. I pick up where I left off before. 

“After I got pulled out of class, there were bodies of students just lying on the ground. Mikey and Draken ended up walking on their backs. They acted like this was a normal experience for them. I walked alongside them. After they got off of the students, both the students on the ground and the students from other classrooms watched us. Draken wraps his arm around me, so I wouldn’t run. I flinched. A few minutes later Hina sees me with Mikey and Draken. She walks up to Mikey and slaps him across the face. If a pin was dropped at that moment, it would have been loud because of the dead silence that followed Hina’s slap.” Izana starts laughing again and this time Ran and Kakucho join him. I just smile because I don’t have the energy to laugh right now, I barely have enough to read right now from how tired I am and with everything else that Takemichi has gone through. 

“I would pay to see that and even more to have a recording of it!” Izana stops laughing for a second, before laughing even harder. I set the journal on my lap to allow everyone to get a hold of themselves, before I could read again. I probably would have laughed if it was any other time, except right now. 

Chapter Text

Ran 

Why weren’t we there? Like Izana, I would have paid to see the invincible Mikey get slapped. I try to get a hold of myself and when I do, I see that I am the second to get a hold of myself. Rin was the first. He looks tired. I tap his shoulder and ask if he is ok. 

He nods and mouths just tired. Right after he mouthed it, he scooted closer to me and played his head on my shoulder, waiting for Izana and Kakucho to get a hold of themselves. After they get a hold of themselves, Rin picks up the journal that he put in his lap, but I take the book out of his hands and set it on the table. He whispers in my ear. 

"Why did you do that? He says before trying to pick the book back up. I lightly slap his hand away. 

"If anyone else wants to read, then they can, even if I would prefer you to get to bed before you read anymore." I say strictly, looking down at him. 

"We probably should call it a night. There is enough that we all have to process what we just read." Izana says, and Rindou gives me what people consider puppy eyes. 

"I agree. It is better that we left off on a good part and we are lucky that is the part we could leave off on." Kakucho speaks up, only for him and Izana to get up, right after we all said good night to each other. I pick up Rindou, who is almost passed out on my shoulder.

"Come on. Let's get you to bed." I tell Rindou quietly. After I pick him up, he just snuggles himself into my arms as much as he can, which is so fucking cute. In my opinion, at least. Once I reach his room and set him on his bed, I hear him call out. 

"Can you stay just for tonight? Please Ran, I don't want to be alone right now. I turn around and get on the side of his bed and he scoots over some, so I have more room. Once I was fully in bed, he snuggled himself next to me. I stay awake for a while, my mind mulls over everything that was read today. After a while, I finally fell victim to the realm of Morpheus. 

Whack! Something hits me and I get up quickly, only to see Rindou with a pillow in his hand. I get up and grab a pillow from the bed and we start a pillow fight, before heading out. I start heading to the kitchen and see that nothing is cooking, meaning that Rindou and myself are the only ones up. I gather my supplies and start cooking breakfast. 

“Rindou, can you come here really quick?” I semi-shout, knowing that Izana doesn’t like people yelling, especially inside. 

“Smells good, whatcha making?” He asks and I just smirk. 

“Wait and see. Also, can you wake Izana and Kakucho up?” He nods and walks towards their rooms, while I finish up breakfast. 

Rindou - 

What is Ran making? He always tries something new, so I never know what the possibilities are of what it would or wouldn’t be. I pout to myself. I hope that one day, when we all want good jobs, people won’t focus on the shit we all did when we were younger, because if Ran became a chief or a baker, then people might not go to the restaurant that he works at because he killed people before and was in a gang. Izana would definitely help out at orphanages. I also see him as someone who works for child services. Kakucho, I don’t know where he will go. Takemichi would be doing something to help people for sure, maybe something like a therapist or a counselor. Something knocks me out of my train of thought. I am at Izana’s door, which I guess my feet moved on their own and I was just in my head, so I never realized that I was walking to anyone’s room. Wait, why am I here again? 

Ran’s voice echos in my head, “Can you wake Izana and Kakucho up to tell them that breakfast is almost ready?” Oh yeah, that’s the reason. I open the door to Izana’s room, and I see Izana holding Kakucho in a cute way, both still asleep. I step out for a second to head to the bathroom, right across the hall and grab two small cups of cold water. I head back to Izana’s room and dump one cup on Izana and one cup on Kakucho, before heading to the door, so I would be out of their range of fire. 

They jerk up. Izana looks like he has a murderous glare and as soon as he finds me, he points it at me. "Breakfast is almost ready.” I say with a straight face, before walking out of his room and closing the door, right before I hear something hit the door. I start laughing. That was amazing! I head back to the kitchen and set up the table. Ran looks at me like he knows something and is amused but doesn’t say anything. 

Izana and Kakucho walk into the dining room, soaking wet and Ran raises an eyebrow. He turns to me and silently asks; do I want to know what happened?  I sit still. 

“What the hell happened to you two? He asks, facing me, but asking Izana and Kakucho. There is a smirk on his face, while Izana and Kakucho look pissed. 

“Someone” Izana draws out that word and looks at me. “Dumped water on us.” I try to hide my smirk but Ran sees it. I almost started laughing, before I gathered myself. 

"Eat first, then get changed or vice versa. We can start reading again after you two are in dry clothes and everyone ate." Ran says, while fishing out the food.

Kakucho and Izana choose to eat first and change right after they finish eating. Ran and I sit down while we wait, his arm around my shoulder. After a few minutes, they both come out and I pick up the journal to start reading. 

Chapter Text

Rindou - 

I picked up the book to pick up where I left off yesterday. “After she slapped him, she grabbed my wrist and started dragging me away from Mikey and Draken. Draken grabs her arm and I stand up to him, which was also extremely fucking stupid. Mikey is a good actor. After I stand up to Draken to tell him to get his hand off of Hina. In a serious voice, he asked me how I wanted to die and said that he thought that we could be friends. He was completely fucking serious. In the end, it turned out that he was just joking. Sometimes I feel like he has a toxic personality. Draken was surprised that I would threaten him and was happy that I was standing up for Hina. Hina asked if they are my friends and I nodded slightly. She goes to Mikey and apologizes. He just tells her not to do it again, just in case she meets someone who would beat her up, if she slapped them. She then says that she will try not to slap anyone else, unless she knows them well. I guess that is the best compromise that she can give.

She ended up calling off our date and saying that we could do it later. There are two bikes outside that Mikey and Draken take. Maybe the bikes were theirs, maybe they stole the bikes. I don’t think I even want to know. Mikey gets on the back of one bike and Draken gets on the other. Mikey calls me over and I get on the front of the bike that he is on. We all start pedaling somewhere. Draken is quiet and I zone out for a little bit. When I came back to reality, I asked Mikey why he wanted to be friends with me because I know that I am a nobody. He said that I reminded him of his older brother Shinichiro. 

Mikey tells me to stop because we have reached the place. It is a hill that overlooks the city. He shared his goal. A new age of delinquents and he wanted me to join him. Draken spoke up, saying that I stand up for what I believe in and that there aren’t many people like that anymore. Good fighters could be found anywhere, but it becomes harder to find people who will stand up for others and for what they believe in. After that chat we all had, I started walking to my house, when someone walked past me. Kisaki, who was smiling like a physio. His head was shaved, so I guess his hair grew out quickly to get to the hairstyle that he normally wears. Both look horrible, especially on him, but if I had to choose, the second one looks better on him, which is almost the same hairstyle that he wears in a future time skip. I think he might have recognized me as the person that he wanted to be better than because his smile went a little crazier looking. 

A few days later, Hina and I were riding the subway and she saw a group of people taking up an entire seat. She told them off, so an elderly woman, who was standing, could sit down. Hina is way too kind, and I know that I really don’t deserve her as my girlfriend, or any of the people that I am friends with. They are all so much better than I am. Their lives also mean something, while I am just a worthless piece of shit. If anyone is reading this and I haven't censored this journal yet, then I am sorry that you have to read a pity party that I am having for myself.”

“Please tell me that he doesn’t believe that line. He definitely does deserve kindness, just like anyone else and his life does mean something to many people.” Kakucho speaks up in a quiet, deadly tone. A fire is raging in his eyes. Izana starts rubbing his back to try and calm him down, which works a little bit, but not a lot because we all are pissed at that statement. Because of how little self-worth he has, that must be the reason why he doesn’t give a fuck about his own life while tries to save everyone else. 

“How about this?” I speak up. “What about after the fight between Tenjiku and Toman, we can all try to change Hanigaki’s mind about his self-worth and the way he sees himself. Or at least tell someone from Toman and they can try to help him because they all seem to care about him a lot, at least from what I have seen during the fight with Valhalla.” My words seem to calm everyone down a little bit and they all nod. Knowing us all, we are probably going for the first opinion, but it is a good idea to have a backup idea, in case we can’t get close to him. 

“Hey Rindou, can you pass me the journal? I want to read next.” Izana says, hand still on Kakucho’s back and I pass it to him, before falling back in my seat, feeling mentally drained. It seems like I have been getting tired more easily lately. It probably is that I am not getting enough sleep and is probably not anything important. 

Izana starts reading from where I left off. “I really do wonder what it would feel like to be loved and cared for. But I know I can’t say that out loud because people will think that I am selfish and when I am selfish, it is typically when people leave me, either walk out of my life, hate me, or die, which I know the last one isn’t always my fault, but they usually end up dying right after I am selfish for some reason or another. Sorry I got completely off topic. Hina then asked me if I had a dream for the future, which made me think about it because that was something that I never have thought about. First, I was just trying to get through life and up until that point, I have been focusing on saving everyone, which I still am, even after 4 or 5 different timelines. I still don't think I have an idea of what I want to be when everyone is saved and has a guaranteed chance at adulthood and doesn't become murderers or people who are murdered by others.” 

He should have an idea of what he wants to be, or at least have a goal for the future, after all of this bullshit is done. I look around and see a pissed Kakucho. Should I call for a quick break, so he could calm down for a little bit because he looks like if he hears anymore about Hanigaki’s low self-esteem or self-problems, he will murder someone. I make eye contact with Izana and do a quick glance in Kakucho’s direction. He looks over and realizes that Kakucho is pissed and tries to make him cool down. After a few minutes, he got up and dragged Kakucho with him to another room, a worried look on his face. 

Chapter Text

Izana 

 I stop reading for a second and I see Rindou trying to make eye contact with me and as soon as we make eye contact, he quickly looks at Kakucho, which made me mad because he somehow kept his face straight. Looking back, his eyes were filled with concern. I look over to Kakucho and see that he is completely pissed and he is digging his nails into the palms of his hands. I pull his hands apart and start rubbing his back in the way that I know that he finds relaxing and comfortable, only for it not to work. A few minutes later I have the idea to take him out of the room and away from the journals to see if it calms him down. Also to let some of his pent up anger out. I get up and drag him to his room, which for some reason is the neatest out of all of the rooms in the warehouse. I zone out for a little bit, trying to think what to do to try to calm him down. When I look back over, his palms are covered in blood. Blood from the crescents on his hands. I grab his hands and pull them away from each other and in a way that they can not close up again and make it worse. He looks up at me, anger fills his eyes, but looking deeper, I realize that there is more than just anger that fills his beautiful eyes. I see regret, concern, and I then realize that he is scared. Scared that his childhood friend is going to end up destroying himself. Scared that the people that he is close to and trusts will die or leave him one way or another. Scared that I will leave him right now to sort out his emotions by himself. 

I pull him in for a hug and it seems like he is calming down a little bit. When I pull away, I see him blaming himself. Blame for pushing Takemichi away. Blame for as he once said, being a horrible person, someone who isn’t kind and doesn’t deserve kindness. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask, concern lacing my voice. He nods, but doesn’t talk, just pulls me in for another hug. He rests his head on my shoulder and starts to quietly speak. 

“He shouldn’t be having that low of self esteem. I understand a little where he gets it from, just from the journal, so far, but he should know what it feels like to be a kid. I don’t think he ever was allowed to be a kid. First, his father’s death. Then, all of the moving around and all of the other deaths that he experienced while he was growing up. I pushed him away because I was insecure and angry that day. He had to provide for himself, which included buying food, getting himself to school, ect. He did all of this white taking care of everyone else. He helped Takuya out with medical bills, so Takuya would have the possibility to survive. He tried to help me out many times before I pushed him away.” Tears start running down his face and I start to rub his back, like I did earlier.

“And now with all of this time traveling, how much bullshit is he facing every single day of his fucking life? He really doesn’t deserve to face everything. The weight of the world is just sitting on his shoulders. How many times has he watched some of the same people die over and over again? How much more can he take before he fully breaks?” I keep rubbing his back, while I am listening. “All for the sake of everyone else, he has gone through too much shit. Now that I think about our last encounter, he looked so tired and done with life. If all of this time travel, the reason why he looked like he was almost broken?” I pull him in for another hug, which is starting to become normal for us. I forget that he is the youngest and not the oldest. It’s moments like this that remind me of the age difference between Kakucho and all of the other Heavenly Kings, along with myself. 

Kakucho interrupts my thoughts when he continues his rant. “I really am a horrible person for pushing him away when he was only trying to help me. All he ever does is help and give. He has to learn, just for the sake of himself and his mind, to take and be selfish at times, not just a people pleaser. He is only going to destroy himself in the process. The day that I pushed him away, I was scared that I would lose him because he was my first friend, but in the end, I just pushed him away. I was the reason why I lost him as a friend and now we are on different sides. If he hangs out with us, especially before the fight between Tenjiku and Toman, the members of Toman may see Takemichi as a traitor. I wouldn’t want him to be kicked out or declared a traitor just because we became friends again. I think anyone can see how much he enjoys being a part of it.” I just continued to hold him as he spoke and after, until I felt that he was calm enough that I could let go. Some time later, I pulled apart. 

“You feeling better now?” I ask and he nods. 

“We should probably head back.” He says after a few minutes of silence. We get up to head back to the sitting room where we see Ran holding Rindou again, in a comforting way. Rindou is the first to see us because Ran is on his phone. I see Rindou poke Ran and whisper something to him. Ran looks up and gives a small smile, slightly asking if everything is okay now. I give a tiny nod and we sit back down. I pick up the journal again and start reading some more. 

Chapter Text

Kakucho 

Why in the fucking world am I so fucking emotional today? I can usually hold my emotions in until I am alone. They all shouldn’t have to deal with my weak ass self. It is pitiful and makes me become a burden to them. I know that I am the youngest, but that just means that I put in extra work to earn the respect that they all have. I probably need to take a walk soon, just so I can let my emotions loose and they do not become a burden to anyone else. I still can’t believe that Takemichi seems to have that little self esteem and self worth, but I guess that I am not much better. 

After I got lost in my own head after we returned to the sitting room, I realized that Izana started reading again and my fingers were fidgeting again, something that I only do when I am anxious or I get lost in my head. No one seemed to be paying attention to me. I tone back in, so I can learn more about Takemichi and what he has gone through. 

“Hina said that she will help me study and we can figure that out later. She drags me to her house and her mother brings some food out, saying that I am the first boy that Hina has ever brought over. Hina became so embarrassed and pushed her mother out a little bit. I have a feeling that she was involved in a gang before or got in a lot of trouble growing up, because she didn’t care that I was in a gang. Sometimes as I would come over more often, she would ask me if anything interesting has happened since the last time that we have talked. If I ever brought up Toman, then she would give me a small smile, like she knew what all of the excitement was all about. Her husband was a different story. He hated me, just because I was in a gang and was considered a troubled kid. 

After Hina pushed her mom out of the room, she thanked me for helping Naoto out when he was being bullied. She then told me that I inspired Naoto to become a police officer, like his father, who is also almost never home and isn’t that close to Naoto. I replied that I think Naoto would become a great police officer, and Hina said that I have changed. More kinder or more mature she said. 

Fireworks go off in the distance and Hina drags me outside. They are so loud, I don’t think I could stand them any more, just because the loud sound reminds me of a gunshot and too many people have died from guns so far. I do have to admit, those fireworks that night were beautiful and extremely colorful. It also made Hina happy, which I don’t remember happening much in the first timeskip. After seeing how her face lit up after seeing the fireworks go off, I promised myself that I would do a lot to see her smile like that again and to see that kind of warm smile on other people’s faces. No pain, no suffering. It would be amazing to see that. The same people who become murderers or people who don't reach adulthood/get to experience it for long, having no worries, no hidden pain and suffering. No hidden trauma that makes them who they are in the future. 

I seriously wonder what that would be like. I think I would like that, especially if I am the only one with all of the knowledge of what they once were and who they are in a world where they don’t have to deal with everything alone. I have thought about their happiness a lot since all of this time traveling started. If I was given the choice of everyone forgetting me, but no one would die young, or stay remembered and there will still be suffering and pain from the past, I would choose everyone forgetting me, but is alive and safe. It would be painful, but I could deal with it because I would be the only one who remembered and everyone would be alive. Might be a quicker way to suicide, but at least everyone would be alive.”

What the damn hell Takemichi? One, you shouldn’t have to deal with all of this time travel. Two, you shouldn’t have to make that choice, even if it ever did come up. Three, you are fucking destroying yourself. Four, don’t kill yourself. We will all try to help you, even if you won’t allow us to help publicly. 

 “That is not okay. That can not be the only way to save everyone. I respect him for trying to make everyone have a better life, but he really shouldn’t have to give up himself, so everyone else would be alive and happy. It is a one way ticket to destroying himself.” Ran speaks up, in his protective brotherly tone.

“Whenever we get a chance, we should help him and let him know that he doesn’t have to deal with all of this bullshit that he is going through alone. We can help him in any way that we can. We will know more than most people, if anyone else knows, so I don’t think he could deny some help or people to talk to, just because we know a lot of the bullshit that has happened, even if he doesn’t go into full details of all of the shit that he has gone through.” Rindou speaks up. I think we all made a silent agreement when we started reading Takemichi’s journals and it started going into detail of all of the bullshit that he has gone through so far. The silent agreement to help Takemichi as much as possible, even if we have to do it in a way that no one, except each other knows that we are helping him. 

Izana started reading again. “While we were watching the firework show, I grabbed someone’s hand, thinking that it was Hina’s. However, it was Naoto’s, which wouldn’t have been a problem if he wasn’t the trigger to the time traveling. I end up back as a 26 year old man, in the adult Naoto’s company. I told him that I grabbed his hand by accident and he became mad, but how was I supposed to control that. Not fully my fault and he shouldn’t have gotten as mad as he did at me, even if I did deserve a little bit of his anger. After a few minutes, he told me what he found out, while I went to the past. 

He said that my body acts like it is dead and my soul leaves my body when I go to the past,” Izana pauses for a second, surprise, confusion, and shock covers his face, before asking the question that is on all of our minds. “What the fucking hell does that mean? Also what happens to him in this time, what he considers the past, when he is back in his normal time frame? Does his 14 year old self go into a coma-like stage or does he go back to the original Takemichi Hanigaki that he considered a “loser”? He makes air quotes with his fingers when saying the word loser, like he doesn’t believe it at all, but is still trying to keep the facts that we know from Takemichi straight. 

He continues reading, knowing that none of us would have the answer and that we may not want to know some of the answers, at least I know that I don’t want to know. “And I go back 12 full years into the past. After he finished sharing his findings, he asked how my mission went. I told him that I met Mikey and the first thing that he asked, the second thing said was why do I not kill him. After meeting the childish Mikey, I don’t think that I would ever have the courage to kill him and even if I ever did, he is a lot better at fighting and he has all of Toman on his side, so it would be more like I would die first, before Mikey even gets close to death. 

I tried to tell Naoto that Mikey, at least the one that I met, is a good person and I don’t know what has changed over 12 years. Naoto just said that this Mikey, the one who killed Hina, has done too many crimes to ever be considered a good person. He wanted to choke and strangle him. I end up offering a very stupid idea, at least in that moment. I wanted to go talk to Mikey and see what has changed. I wanted to ask him why Toman changed. What happened to the Toman who protected each other? “All for one and one for all” What happened to them, the people that believed that it is better to fight clean rather than dirty, like other groups and people that I have experienced where they would bring a knife to try to kill someone, when in this timeline that is what Toman is doing? What the fuck has changed over 14 years?” Do we fall into the category of fighting dirty? If we do, then what effect does it have on Takemichi? 

“Like shit doesn’t happen over time.” Izana rolls his eyes. “He should know that at least a little bit.” 

“You can’t blame him much. He just came back from the past and he doesn’t see how people can lose sight of what was important to them before, but if he doesn’t know it after all of the time travel, then that would make him a bit stupid. He has probably seen so many people lose sight of what was once important to them.” Rindou speaks up. 

“Does anyone else want to read?” Izana asks and Ran puts his hand out, a smirk on his face, one that seems like he wants something to distract him from his thoughts. 

Chapter Text

Ran - 

I grab the journal from Izana and start reading. “After I said that I wanted to talk to Mikey a few more times, Naoto said something that caught me off guard, I changed from my time in the past. I know that is at least partially true because I don’t run away from my problems like I did in the first timeline, but other than that, I don’t think that I have changed much, if any.”  Of course, you wouldn’t realize that you have changed. People don’t realize any of the changes that occur to them, until someone else points it out. “ When I asked him what he meant, he said it seemed like I wasn’t as weak-willed anymore. He headed over to his computer and started to look up information to try to find a way to talk to Mikey. He has me start to organize some paperwork. 

After a little while, I look over his shoulder and see someone that I get the feeling that I am supposed to know, so I asked who it was. Once Naoto told me who it was, I couldn’t believe that it was the same person that I was friends with in middle school; Sendo Atsushi, or as he preferred to be called in middle school, Akkun. In this timeline, he works for Toman, the criminal organization. In the original timeline, Akkun stabbed Kiyomizu and went to prison for it. Now, he is a Toman admin and Naoto asks if I can contact Akkun. I agreed to try and I brought Naoto over to my house, so I can look for his number from 12 years, which was the only way I had of contacting him. Thank god that it still worked. We headed over to my house and I warned Naoto about the mess in my house. He told me to just open the door. 

When I did open the door, I think, wait no, I know that he was fucking disgusted and wasn’t ready at all to see the mess of my apartment. I went to my closet, while Naoto went out to buy a pair of gloves and a mask, so he could start cleaning up a tiny bit. After a few minutes, I found my old notebook, the one that has Akkun’s number in it and I called it. 

While it is ringing, my mind goes back to the past, the one that I was just in, only a few hours before. It was only a few hours after the fight when we met Mikey. We all were heading to our houses. After Akkun and I said goodnight to Takuya, Yamagishi, and Makoto, we talked for a little bit, about the future. I asked him what would happen if after high school, we went separate ways and didn’t talk. He said that we would always be friends. 

I snap back to reality when Akkun answers the phone. We ended up talking for a little bit, which I ended up finding out that Akkun is the manager of a hostess bar. We enter the bar and a few minutes later, Naoto and I are waiting in a room to meet Akkun again. He ended up coming right behind me. He looked so different without his pompadour and his head was now shaved. He told me that he wanted to talk outside.” 

 “Well, that isn’t the perfect way to be killed.” Kakucho says sarcastically. 

I start to read again. “I go outside with Akkun and he pulls me into a headlock. We talked a little about what has happened over the past ten years, but it was mostly just me amazed at how far he has come over the past ten years. He then asked me if Naoto was a cop and if he was Hina’s sister. He then asked me if I remembered that I asked him what we would talk about in the future, and I did. He then asked me if we could talk about something that he wanted to talk about. He said that he was the one who pushed me onto the track.” 

“So you're telling me that he was pushed onto the tracks, which started this entire time leaping, by one of his closest friends?” Izana questions and everyone remembers that Takemichi said at the beginning he has seen some of the same things over and over again. “That makes no fucking sense. Why would his friend do that?” 

“He might have been forced to push Takemichi because he was a Toman member and Toman became different from what it is now.” Rindou speaks up and I continue reading. 

“He started questioning me about the time travel and I think he is the only one who ever figured it out without me mentioning anything, even if it was only once that he figured it out. Said it wasn’t possible for Naoto to know that I was going to fall onto the track in front of the train, unless I went back in time. I told him that he was acting crazy and that there was no way that he would kill me, even if I was just denying it because I knew it was true, especially since right before I was pushed, I heard a quiet voice that sounded like Akkun’s saying that they were sorry. 

He then asked me, while looking at the sky, when did everything go wrong. Kisaki was in charge of Toman, Mikey hasn’t been seen in years, and Akkun couldn’t leave Toman, in fear of Kisaki. He said that Mikey changed after Draken died, right before he climbed up on the railing of the roof we were on. That was the first time that I saw someone die in front of me and I watched them die since the time travel started.”

“Wait, do you mean that his friend ended up killing himself? That is messed up and after Takemichi just said that this was the first time he saw someone die in front of him. How fucked up is his mental health?” Kakucho speaks up, sounding a little pissed because he was the one closest to Takemichi, but everyone was a little pissed at how much the universe is throwing at Takemichi, and they haven’t even read a lot yet.

I start to read again, but I can feel my face pale while reading, trying to figure out where I left off.  Damn, Hanagaki, you need a lot of help, especially if this was only the first time.   “He knew and the next sentence that he said confirmed it. He knew that I was going back in time to save Hina, but he didn’t realize that I wanted to save everyone, which the greed of saving everyone only increased. He said to never give up, never back down, and I guess that I am still relying on those words, even if my goals have gotten larger and the amount of people that I want to save has grown. I guess watching everyone die at least once, I kind of see them as family, a messed up family, but still family because most of them were ones that I fought with or was trying to save over and over. Akkun’s last words were to save all of them, our crybaby hero. Those seven words was the last words he said right before he jumped. I leaned over the side and I could see Akkun on the ground, a pile of blood surrounding his body.” By the time Ran finished reading, he was completely pale, just from Hanagaki’s description and Rindou looked about to throw up. Kakucho and Izana were emotionless, but emotionless from being overwhelmed with many emotions. 

“What the actually fuck?” Rindou speaks is a shaky voice. “His friend jumped in front of him, figured out about the fact Hanagaki could time travel and told him to save everyone right before he killed himself?” Rindou goes quiet for a few minutes. “After reading that, does anyone else think that we should take a break?” Ran and Kakucho look at Rindou and Ran speaks.

“I think that would be a good idea, Rin.” Kakucho then gets up and heads to a window before pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. As he is lighting it, his hands are completely shaking, and he can barely hold his cigarette or the lighter.

Chapter Text

Ran - 

I grab the journal from Izana and start reading. “After I said that I wanted to talk to Mikey a few more times, Naoto said something that caught me off guard, I changed from my time in the past. I know that is at least partially true because I don’t run away from my problems like I did in the first timeline, but other than that, I don’t think that I have changed much, if any.”  Of course, you wouldn’t realize that you have changed. People don’t realize any of the changes that occur to them, until someone else points it out. “ When I asked him what he meant, he said it seemed like I wasn’t as weak-willed anymore. He headed over to his computer and started to look up information to try to find a way to talk to Mikey. He has me start to organize some paperwork. 

After a little while, I look over his shoulder and see someone that I get the feeling that I am supposed to know, so I asked who it was. Once Naoto told me who it was, I couldn’t believe that it was the same person that I was friends with in middle school; Sendo Atsushi, or as he preferred to be called in middle school, Akkun. In this timeline, he works for Toman, the criminal organization. In the original timeline, Akkun stabbed Kiyomizu and went to prison for it. Now, he is a Toman admin and Naoto asks if I can contact Akkun. I agreed to try and I brought Naoto over to my house, so I can look for his number from 12 years, which was the only way I had of contacting him. Thank god that it still worked. We headed over to my house and I warned Naoto about the mess in my house. He told me to just open the door. 

When I did open the door, I think, wait no, I know that he was fucking disgusted and wasn’t ready at all to see the mess of my apartment. I went to my closet, while Naoto went out to buy a pair of gloves and a mask, so he could start cleaning up a tiny bit. After a few minutes, I found my old notebook, the one that has Akkun’s number in it and I called it. 

While it is ringing, my mind goes back to the past, the one that I was just in, only a few hours before. It was only a few hours after the fight when we met Mikey. We all were heading to our houses. After Akkun and I said goodnight to Takuya, Yamagishi, and Makoto, we talked for a little bit, about the future. I asked him what would happen if after high school, we went separate ways and didn’t talk. He said that we would always be friends. 

I snap back to reality when Akkun answers the phone. We ended up talking for a little bit, which I ended up finding out that Akkun is the manager of a hostess bar. We enter the bar and a few minutes later, Naoto and I are waiting in a room to meet Akkun again. He ended up coming right behind me. He looked so different without his pompadour and his head was now shaved. He told me that he wanted to talk outside.” 

 “Well, that isn’t the perfect way to be killed.” Kakucho says sarcastically. 

I start to read again. “I go outside with Akkun and he pulls me into a headlock. We talked a little about what has happened over the past ten years, but it was mostly just me amazed at how far he has come over the past ten years. He then asked me if Naoto was a cop and if he was Hina’s sister. He then asked me if I remembered that I asked him what we would talk about in the future, and I did. He then asked me if we could talk about something that he wanted to talk about. He said that he was the one who pushed me onto the track.” 

“So you're telling me that he was pushed onto the tracks, which started this entire time leaping, by one of his closest friends?” Izana questions and everyone remembers that Takemichi said at the beginning he has seen some of the same things over and over again. “That makes no fucking sense. Why would his friend do that?” 

“He might have been forced to push Takemichi because he was a Toman member and Toman became different from what it is now.” Rindou speaks up and I continue reading. 

“He started questioning me about the time travel and I think he is the only one who ever figured it out without me mentioning anything, even if it was only once that he figured it out. Said it wasn’t possible for Naoto to know that I was going to fall onto the track in front of the train, unless I went back in time. I told him that he was acting crazy and that there was no way that he would kill me, even if I was just denying it because I knew it was true, especially since right before I was pushed, I heard a quiet voice that sounded like Akkun’s saying that they were sorry. 

He then asked me, while looking at the sky, when did everything go wrong. Kisaki was in charge of Toman, Mikey hasn’t been seen in years, and Akkun couldn’t leave Toman, in fear of Kisaki. He said that Mikey changed after Draken died, right before he climbed up on the railing of the roof we were on. That was the first time that I saw someone die in front of me and I watched them die since the time travel started.”

“Wait, do you mean that his friend ended up killing himself? That is messed up and after Takemichi just said that this was the first time he saw someone die in front of him. How fucked up is his mental health?” Kakucho speaks up, sounding a little pissed because he was the one closest to Takemichi, but everyone was a little pissed at how much the universe is throwing at Takemichi, and they haven’t even read a lot yet.

I start to read again, but I can feel my face pale while reading, trying to figure out where I left off.  Damn, Hanagaki, you need a lot of help, especially if this was only the first time.   “He knew and the next sentence that he said confirmed it. He knew that I was going back in time to save Hina, but he didn’t realize that I wanted to save everyone, which the greed of saving everyone only increased. He said to never give up, never back down, and I guess that I am still relying on those words, even if my goals have gotten larger and the amount of people that I want to save has grown. I guess watching everyone die at least once, I kind of see them as family, a messed up family, but still family because most of them were ones that I fought with or was trying to save over and over. Akkun’s last words were to save all of them, our crybaby hero. Those seven words was the last words he said right before he jumped. I leaned over the side and I could see Akkun on the ground, a pile of blood surrounding his body.” By the time Ran finished reading, he was completely pale, just from Hanagaki’s description and Rindou looked about to throw up. Kakucho and Izana were emotionless, but emotionless from being overwhelmed with many emotions. 

“What the actually fuck?” Rindou speaks is a shaky voice. “His friend jumped in front of him, figured out about the fact Hanagaki could time travel and told him to save everyone right before he killed himself?” Rindou goes quiet for a few minutes. “After reading that, does anyone else think that we should take a break?” Ran and Kakucho look at Rindou and Ran speaks.

“I think that would be a good idea, Rin.” Kakucho then gets up and heads to a window before pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. As he is lighting it, his hands are completely shaking, and he can barely hold his cigarette or the lighter.

Chapter Text

Kakucho 

As everyone gets up to take a break, I stare out of the window, trying to process the mental effects that these journals are having on all of us and we just started and we are just reading. If we are affected this much, then how bad is Takemichi’s mental health? We all are surprised and can feel some of the pain when we read that Akkun jumped, how bad was it for you Mitchi? I continue to smoke as I think, attempting to put myself in Michi’s shoes and see how much pain he is in. Out of the corner of my eyes, I can see Rindou curl up on Ran’s side, Ran’s arm around Rindou, but he looks deep in thought while trying to silently confort his brother. I can see Zana starting to pick at his nails, while he looks lost in his head, and I know that I probably should stop him, but I can’t seem to move from my spot. After a few more minutes, I finally feel like I can move, so I walk over to Zana and start to hold his hands, so he can’t pick at his nails, at least for right now. 

As I walk over, Rindou is the only one who notices me walking over from the window. I grab Izana’s hands and I can start to feel him subconsciously try to fight me and remove his hands from mine, but I don’t let go. He looks up at me and realizes that I am holding his hands in a way that he can’t hurt himself and it dawns on him the reason why I was holding his hands in the way that I was. I give him a small smile. We all end up sitting in that room for a while, all sitting in silence, lost in our own heads. 

After a while, Rindou releases himself from Ran’s arm for a second to grab the journal to read where we left off before. “Does anyone want to continue reading, or should we wait until later?” He asks in a softer voice, and no one answers for a few seconds, because none of us want to read again, but I get this feeling that we should. I speak up.

“I think we should start now, maybe if we read enough, then we can try to help Takemichi to try and reach his goal to help everyone and maybe if there is anything about the fight between Tenjiku and Toman that is happening in a few days, then maybe we can change the outcome.” I say, while looking at my legs, and I can hear Rindou flip to the page where Ran left off on, right after getting back into the position that he was in before he picked up the journal. 

He starts to read. “After Akkun jumped, the police came and I sat on the stairs behind the building. Naoto told the police to give me some space, but I said it was fine, right before I told him to look into the day Draken died. He was confused and I told him a little bit of what Akkun told me, that Kisaki was the one who made Toman evil and it happened after Draken died, but I guess now I know better. Kisaki was just one of the pawns that made Toman evil. In the end, we are all pawns of time, something that shouldn’t be messed with, but I guess since I have gotten a taste of a simple hope, it has become an addiction to try to save everyone, just like how someone gets addicted to drugs or alcohol. It feels good for the moment when you change something, even if your progress gets destroyed soon after. Just like how I ended up saving Draken, but wanted Mikey to be saved and how Draken ended up dying in front of me or when Izana sacrificed himself for Kakucho, but Kaku-chan ended up dying from Sanzu, who in one timeline was Kaku-chan’s co-worker.” What does Michi mean by that? Izana is alive, sitting next to me. Wait, was it one of the time lines that he experienced, but hasn’t happened in this one yet?

“What the fuck does he mean that I sacrificed myself for Kakucho? What happened at the time he mentioned and how did Kakucho end up dead? This shit is confusing for me to wrap my head around.” Izana says.  

“Agreed.” Ran says, a confused expression on his face. Rindou picks the book up and starts reading again.

“The next morning, I went back to work, only to find out that I have been fired for not showing up for two weeks. Two weeks passed when I was in the past, proof that time is the same in both past and present. I left and after I looked into my account, I found that I didn’t have enough to pay rent. I head over to Naoto’s place, while he is researching the day that Draken died in the original timeline. I got the idea to tell Hina about the time travel, but Naoto declined it. Told me that I was taking the easy way out. Hina would never believe me. The only way to figure this all out and save people was to go back there 

I then wished Draken was still alive, then I explained to Naoto that Draken was the one who knew Mikey the best, being that he was second in command before his death. After I explain to Naoto, he tells me that he found information about the day Draken died. August 3, 2005, there was a brawl in a parking lot. A fifteen year old male ended up dead, with a knife in his stomach. According to other things, the brawl occurred from within the fight. Toman was split in half. Half followed Mikey and about half followed Draken. I couldn’t believe that Mikey and Draken would fight, to the point where it ended with Draken having a knife to his stomach. 

I shake Naoto’s hand, which sends me back into the past, exactly 12 years ago. What I landed in, I am not sure what my 14 year old self was getting into, so I am not giving any details. After I left, Draken called me and told me to come to the Shrine. I went to the shrine and Hina followed me. When we got there, I got yelled at by one of the members of Toman, until Mitsuya stepped in and brought me over to where Mikey and Draken were. Mikey then apologized for the sudden invite. Draken sees Hina and apologizes for teasing her at school a few days ago and she forgave him. Draken calls over a girl named Emma, who is Draken’s girlfriend. He tells her to take care of Hina, she then notices me and talks to me a little bit after Hina whips my ass. She said that she did it, just to get Draken’s attention because he doesn’t pay much attention to her.”

“What happened between Draken’s girlfriend and Hanagaki and why does he refuse to talk about it?” Ran speaks up, in a teasing tone. 

Rindou looks up at his brother. “What do you think makes partners pissed at each other dipshit? His 14 year old body was probably cheating on Hina.” Rindou says with a straight face and Ran tries to look ashamed, but he has a glint in his eyes, like he wants to know all of the details. 

Chapter Text

Izana

I can feel myself smirk at Ran and Rindou’s actions. After Rindou glares at Ran for a few more seconds, Rindou then picks up the journal and starts to read again. “After I talked to Emma for a little bit, Draken called the meeting to start. I am told to follow Draken and Mikey for a little while, before I stand in front of the crowd. Mikey starts to talk about a gang named Morbis. After Mikey says that he wants to hear everyone’s opinions, Draken tells Mitsuya to inform me about Morbis and the role that they play in the gang world, which is definitely a lot more complicated than I would ever have thought it would be.” 

“Just the gang world? I thought we would be a lot more important to Hanagaki than just to be known as the gang world.” Ran jokes and Rindou gives him a playful elbow to the side. I started reading again. 

“While Mitsuya was informing me about who Morbis is and the role they play in the gang world, I had my first interaction with Peh-yan and Pah-chin, who I later learned are nice people. I think everyone that I have ever met that was in a gang gave the impression that they were meaner and a lot more like jerks than they are (or should I say were? It is way too difficult to keep the timelines straight anymore.)

“Does that mean we were like that?” Ran teases with a fake pout. “How rude Hanagaki, that is so mean.” I playfully roll my eyes before I start to read again.

“Mitsuya then tells Peh-yan and Pah-chin to knock it off and reminds them that they were supposed to drop the ring fight because Kiyomasa used Toman without Mikey’s permission, which even if I am grateful that Mitsuya got them to leave me alone a little bit, I don’t understand why they should just drop it. Quite a lot of people in Toman, not all, but a lot of them went to those fights for entertainment, so why should they not be mad at me at that moment. I was basically the one who got it shut down. If I didn’t take Yamamoto’s place that day, then Mikey and Draken most likely would not have shown up, which would make it like the first timeline, but I cannot say that I have any regrets for that day. I didn’t want Yamamoto to get hurt again, just like I want everyone to make it to adulthood in the safest ways possible.”

“Wait, Hanagaki wants us to survive and not die in the gang world? That doesn’t seem realistic.” Rindou speaks up, before Kakucho interrupts him, in a solemn way. I noticed that Kakucho looked deep in thought.  

“This is Takemichi we are talking about. He will sacrifice himself over and over again, just for the safety of others. He doesn’t care much about himself, but if anyone is in danger, he will throw himself in the path of fire for them in any way he can.” He said in a voice that was a little louder than a whisper.

Kakucho -

I start to zone out as I talk. Images flash in my mind, most I have never experienced, which makes me think that they are from previous timelines. Michi taking a hit from a baseball bat for someone, him pushing Rindou out of the way of something, Takemichi getting shot. I could see the images clearly, but I couldn’t see what happened to anyone other than Takemichi, some I remember, like when he took hits for me and Takuya, along with when he stood up for anyone who got bullied. 

I try to bring myself to listen back to the journal, but the images keep swirling through my head, most I think come from different timelines. I feel a hand on my knee and I jump a little. I look up and see Zana looking at me with the silent question of everything ok on his face. I give a small nod, but it looks like Zana does not believe me. I start to listen in again and I notice that Rindou was giving me a look like wanna talk about it, while Ran had a look that said, ‘now or later? Don’t try to avoid it because you are going to talk about it to one of us.’

Rindou picks the journal up again and reads. “Peh-yan and Pah-chin then argue that Pah-chin’s brain was extremely small. I find that ironic, since they owned a real-estate company in the future. Draken comes up and tells them to drop it, before he turns to me and tells me that Pah-chin is pissed and upset since Morbis’s leader beat Pah-chin’s friend up and then assaulted Pah-chin’s girlfriend in front of Pah-chin, right before he asked Pah for help. 

Ran has a disgusted expression on his face. “That is - what the fuck. Do people have no humanity anymore? I know we are part of gangs, but that is not a way to treat anyone at att. This is why gangs get such a bad rep anymore.” Everyone looks disturbed because all of us are known for violence, but we would not take it that far just to humiliate someone.

“Does anyone else want to read?” Rindou asks quietly and I decide that I will read. I hold my hand out for the journal, not sure what we all are getting into the more we read these journals.

I start to read. “Mikey calls Pah up to the steps, in front of everyone and asks him if he wants to fight, fight for revenge. It takes a few minutes for him to say that he does want to fight for revenge. Mikey then yells to the crowd and asks if anyone wants to sit back and not fight Morbis. No one spoke up, everyone wanted revenge. The Mikey who led that version of Toman and not any other gang he led or even other versions of Toman was a good leader. He knew how to command the crowd, without leading with fear. He asked for other opinions and took everything others said, even other people from other gangs, he took all of their ideas into consideration. I think the person who ideas Mikey considered the most and was from a separate gang, besides Kasaki who influenced everyone, was Izana. After that fight, even if it wasn’t Mikey’s fault, he blamed himself for never getting to know Izana and blamed himself for Izana’s death, at least during the first time Toman fought against Tenjiku.”

“One, why does Hanagaki keep referring to my ‘death’? What happened during that? And two, why would Mikey blame himself? I mean he deserves it a little, but that is taking it a little too far, being Hanagaki said earlier that it was meant for Kako.” He smirks a little as he uses the nickname that Ran created earlier. “And it says that I took whatever the thing was that was meant for Kako, so how would that be Mikey’s fault.” No one answers and I continue to read.

“I think Izana was one of the people who Mikey had the most respect for, even if nothing was ever said about it.” I notice that Zana looks shocked by Michi’s words. “The date they decided on was August third, which if I remember correctly, it was the day that Draken died in the original timeline. I decided to become his bodyguard and let’s just say that he wasn’t up for the idea much at all.”

We all started laughing at Michi’s statement. “He doesn’t fight much, so how does he expect to be a bodyguard for someone like Draken. How stupid can he be at times?” Ran says in between fits of laughter.

“I start to follow Draken around and I saw him sit at a table with Mikey, who got upset over the fact that there was no flag on his food. Draken sighs and pulls out a small flag, which made Mikey extremely happy. I forget how childish some people acted, since it has been so long. After Mikey finished eating, he fell asleep and Draken had to carry him, with a little bit of annoyance. I continue to follow them and I see that Draken takes Mikey to the hospital to pay his respects to Pah’s girlfriend, which Mikey didn’t realize what Draken was doing until they stopped in front of the window that looks into her room.

They stand there until Pah’s girlfriend’s parents come up to them. The father yells at Draken and Mikey, blaming them for the abuse that his daughter faced, even if they didn’t do it. He believed that all gangs are the same, which I am now ashamed to say that I thought the same before all of this time leaping. Draken bows to the parents and Mikey starts to tell him to stand because the parents didn’t do anything for respect, but Draken pulled Mikey down into a bow and started to say that they will take full responsibility for what has happened to the daughter.

Mikey starts to complain, and Draken tells him to shut up. The father then tells them to leave and never come back to this hospital.  After the parents walk off, Draken tells Mikey, still bowed, that all of the members have family and they can’t allow anyone, any civilians, to get hurt. As I was still listening out of sight, I start to think that one of the reasons that Toman became evil was that Mikey changed after Draken’s death, but now I know that his death was only part of the reason. The main was that Mikey didn’t know how to control the demons inside him.

I head back to the future to tell Naoto what I have learned.”

“So let me get this straight, Hanagaki followed Draken and Draken unintentionally demonstrated kindness and respect to the family, yet they somehow become the worst group from Hanagaki’s words in the future. That makes no sense.” Zana speaks up, a bit confused, from what we read, but mostly from when Hanagaki said that Mikey looked up to Izana. I start to read again.

“Naoto found Osanai and we hear that his boss was yelling at him, saying that he didn’t do much work.”

“Why would they even want to talk to that loser anyway?” Ran rudely asks as he is picking the dirt from under his nails. I shrug.

“We took Osanai to a café to ask him some questions about what happened between Morbis and Toman. Naoto did the questioning and it seemed a little harsh to me, but what can I say. Being naïve and nice hasn’t got me very far yet. Osanai said he had nothing to do with Draken’s death. He said that the rumble started the fire, but the fire only grew once the flame turned inward and it became a fight of Toman vs Toman."

Chapter Text

Kakucho -

“Osanai refused to say anymore. He just said that someone plotted the murder from the inside. Naoto talks after we get back to his apartment about what we just found out, before he tells me to go back to the past and find out more about what happened, what caused the fight between Draken and Mikey.

When I travel back to the past, I am on the back of Akkun’s bike and he was talking about something. I forget for a second that Akkun is still alive in this timeline, but once I remember that this is the past, not the present, I decide to ask him what he wanted to do once we finished high school. He said, unsure, that he would like to be a hair dresser. I shouted that he can do it without any shame and he looks at me like I lost my mind, which I probably did lose my mind in that moment. I make Akkun promise that I will be his first customer when he does become a hairdresser, to support him and everyone knows that I need a change of hairstyle, at least a different color than piss blond. I tell Akkun to pull over and I get off of his bike, so I can go figure things out, without getting him involved. I run into a warehouse that Mikey and the captains of Toman were having a meeting. I tell them that they should cancel the fight because someone was plotting something against Toman and they all look at me like I am crazy.

Pah-chin then throws me by my hair and tells me to fuck off. I try to tell them again that they can’t fight, which pisses Pah-chin off a lot, who slaps me and Mikey tells me that Toman and Morbis is going to fight and it is final.” I pause for a second to process what just happened. “So, they all blew up at Michi for him trying to tell them not to fight for their safety. I mean, I can understand their reaction, but Michi was only trying to help them and protect Draken. I guess it would be hard to understand without Mich telling them what he knows, but for them to beat him up for trying to tell them not to fight is kinda stupid.” I say quietly.

“Facts, Kako. Facts.” Rindou speaks up and takes the journal from my hands and puts it down on the table after looking at the clock on the wall. “Damn, time flies when shit happens. We probably should take a break and rest a little bit before we read anymore.” We all turn to look at the clock and notice that it is close to 10 at night and we know that we should rest with the fight with Toman tomorrow, which I just remember is tomorrow. We all head to our rooms. I lay down, but I can’t sleep. Everything that Michi has said swarms my mind and it seems so difficult to picture everything he has done so far, and we haven’t even got that far into the journals yet. I wonder what tomorrow will bring. How much will be learned and what is going to happen between Tenjiku and Toman.

After many hours, I finally see the sun start to shine through my curtains, which makes me realize that I haven’t slept at all, which is never the best thing to happen, especially when there is a fight that is happening today. I slowly get up with a groan and walk to the room with the journals. On my way, I grab an apple, just wanting to get back to the journals, and once I reach the room, I see that everyone is up, meaning that we can read a little bit more of the journals.

“We have some time, so why don’t we read a little bit more before the Tenjiku and Toman fight?” I say, knowing that we all want to read some more of the journals and everyone else nods.

Rindou - 

I lean and snuggle into Ran’s shoulder as Izana picks up the journal and opens it up to where we left off yesterday. Ran wraps his arm around my shoulder as the protective older brother he is, right before Izana started reading. “I was on the ground as I said that I won’t give up and that Toman shouldn’t fight, as Pah was beating me up. Throwing punches and kicking me, yet I wouldn’t give up. Draken grabs Pah’s arm as he was about to throw another punch, which pissed Mikey off a little bit. Guess Mikey was always led by the dark impulses, but he seems to be able to control it a little bit, at least during Toman at this time, as he was younger.” What does Hanagaki mean by dark impulses? I mean everyone has a dark side, but what has made Mikey’s dark side worse than other people’s? I question silently as Izana continues to read.

Mikey asked Draken if he was defying Toman and looked like he was about to murder Draken. Draken said that it wasn’t like that, though Mikey said that it was. At that moment, someone enters the warehouse, combing his hair for some reason. When I looked up from the ground, I notice that it is a younger version of Osanai, the same person who I only talked to a few hours ago and start that the fight between Morbis and Toman only lit the fire, but the fuel kept burning with a fight that occurred between Mikey and Draken that divided Toman in half. Pah sees Osanai and starts to swing at him, which he misses and Osanai punches Pah in the face. Osanai than says that Toman is only a middle school gang, so Toman isn’t any good at fighting at all.”

“How stupid can he be to say that in front of Draken and Mikey, who are some of the top fighters in the gang world?” I whisper quietly to myself and Izana continues to read, not hearing me and what I said.

“Osanai heard that Toman was going to attack Morbis, so he decided to attack Toman First with the entire gang of Morbis behind him. Mikey than sassed Osanai by saying that he brought a lot of people to fight only middle schoolers. Osanai pretends not to hear Mikey when Mikey adds on that he thought Osanai was as shitty as he imaged. Past and present; who is who with all of the different personalities? How to keep everyone straight, but I guess it is part of the reason that I am writing this journal and however many that come after this one. Thinking about the present and the future/past versions of Osanai and I guess that I was staring because he got annoyed quickly and asked why I was staring at him before punching me across the face without giving me a chance to respond, nor would I have known how to respond to his question even if he did give me time to answer.

Osanai goes to start beating me up, when Pah grabbed Osanai’s arm and said that Osanai’s fight was with him and told me to stay out of it when I said not to fight. That has never been something that I could stop and I don’t know why I try to stop the fighting anymore, no one listens to that. Even Chifuyu who knew why I try to stop the fighting didn’t want to stop some of the actual fights. Guess fighting will always has been and forever will be in the nature of the people that I now hang out with. Peh tells me not to worry because Pah is one of the best fighters in Toman and Mikey tells me coldly that this is Pah’s fight.

Osanai starts to throw hands and one punch hits Pah in the nose and makes it look completely broken. Peh starts to worry and starts to run over to Pah, but Mikey said coldly again that Pah has to deal with Osanai on his own, even though Pah is barely conscious. He than turns to me and asks why when I said that he has to stop this fight with a smile on his face. He didn’t see a reason to stop the fight because Pah hasn’t given up yet. Looking back, Mikey is a good leader until he isn’t. Too many people were lost because no one did anything when someone was fighting someone else and neither side has given up and won’t give until one side is dead or surrenders, which it is usually the former. Thankfully Pah wasn’t one of those deaths, not this time in history.

Osanai keeps throwing punches until Pah almost falls over. Mikey then catches him on his shoulder and Pah apologies. Mikey askes why is he apologizing if he hasn’t lost yet. Mikey sets Pah on the ground before he walks over to Osanai, and without a word said, he kicked Osanai in the face with a kick that went straight up and curved, so Osanai’s head snapped to the right. Osanai falls to the ground and Mikey tells Morbis that anyone who thinks Pah lost, to step forward, so he could kick their asses because he says anyone who is in Toman, his gang, will never lose. Guess it is true. No one who stood behind Mikey ever “lost” any fight, except the internal battle of who they were. All the versions of Toman, Boten, Kanto Manji, and all of the different groups he led.”

“Wait, who are these groups?” Izana pauses and I notice that Kakucho has a straight face, staring at the journal. Why does the name Boten sound familiar? It doesn’t exist now, but what is it? Why is it so familiar to me and why do I feel like Ran and Kakucho feel the same way?  I notice that Ran squeezes his arm around my shoulder a little bit.  Visions start to cover my mind. Times when I had long lavender hair and times when Kakucho grew his hair out. Someone who looked emo with Izana’s hairstyle, but it looks more like Mikey than Izana. All criminals, murders, people who lost themselves in a world of crime, a place that I have feared for a while now will happen to Ran if he keeps getting deeper in the gang world, like he is doing now; stealing, murdering, all with a sinister smile on his lips.

“Osanai gets up from the ground with a broken bottle and heads towards Mikey. Draken pushes Mikey out of the way and once Osanai gets close, Draken knees Osanai in the stomach and lifts the arm holding the bottle into the air, in a way that completely dislocated Osanai’s shoulder and left it to have permanent damage in the future. Draken keeps calm and coldly says that Osanai dropped to the level of a scum and can never be considered a true delinquent, which in my opinion, a lot of people have dropped to that level or lower, even if they were great people. Draken then shouted to the people of Morbis that Morbis is now part of Toman.”

“If in any way, we do lose to Toman later, let’s try to stay our own individual gang. We all had certain goals that make us who we are when Tenjiku was formed. If we join a different gang, especially if Michi said that people lose themselves when they follow Mikey, especially in the future.” Kakucho whispers while looking at the ground, an action that reminds all of us that he is the complete youngest of the group, even if he doesn’t act like he is only fourteen.

Chapter Text

– Rindou

Ran smiles in a way a lot of people find sadistic, and teasing, but he really only means the smile as a way to show that he cares and is just going to tease you because he cares. Kakucho doesn’t see the smile because he is looking down at his hands and the ground. “Why would we have any reason to dismantle Tenjiku? This is a place for anyone who doesn’t feel welcome in their family or don’t have a family, and we are a family for them. It is going the way that it is supposed to, why should it change?” Kakucho looks up at Ran and his eyes look like he is deep in thought about this.

“What if we do keep Tenjiku, but make it a miserable place for the members? Things can go either way and I hope it stays the way it is now, but who knows? What would happen if we became the Toman at the beginning of Michi’s journal? What would happen then? How much would we all change if one died? Would our beliefs change? We all are still human, so the smallest thing could change us.” Ran’s small smile drops and all of us go silent, not sure what would happen. Kakucho has a strong point. Look at Hanagaki. He says that he was a bully before in the first timeline, now he is trying to save everyone, but at the Valhalla fight, he looked like he wanted to be done with this but wanted to protect everyone.  I really do wonder how terrible his mental health is, especially if he has seen things repeatedly; the same people die, in the same ways. Has he ever died for anyone and if so, how many times?

I have seen several times that Ran has changed his entire personality based on the environment that he is in. He also always seems to follow the one who has the most power, and even though he seems to care about Izana and Kakucho, would he be willing to stay? Would I be able to leave them, so I wouldn’t have to fight against Ran? Or would I stay with Izana and Kakucho and will have to fight Ran in the end?

“We should read some more. We still have some time. Maybe we could learn something else to understand how this fight will go.” I say weakly after a few minutes of silence. Izana gives a small nod and picks the journal back up and starts to read in a quieter voice than before.

“Mikey tells everyone to leave once we start hearing the police sirens, with a smile on his face, which dropped once Pah pulled out a knife and stabbed Osanai from the back. The mood of the room completely dropped and Pah apologies once more, before telling Peh and Mikey to take care of the Third Division for him because he was going to turn himself in to the police for stabbing Osanai.”

“Props for him for taking responsibility and turning himself in, but why would he do that in the first place?” I ask quietly, knowing that Toman is known as a group that tries to do right, maybe not as much in the future, but as of right now, they always try to fight in a fair way. Izana starts to read again.

“Mikey tries to stop Pah, but Draken holds Mikey back and carries him out of the warehouse. Shame to say that I passed out after we left the warehouse as we were running. I guess being anemic, sleep deprived, and beat up can do that to a person.” As soon as Izana finished speaking, Kakucho’s phone went off like he got a text, which confused all of us.

Kakucho –

I pull out my phone and I can feel my eyes go wide at the message from an unknown person, who I get the feeling that I should know who sent the text, but I can’t think of anyone as of right now.

”Kako, can you please read the message, so we aren’t in the dark anymore?” Ran says it in a teasing and sarcastic way.

“Who the fuck is this?” Kakucho whispers, like he didn’t hear Ran and Izana immediately grabs his phone and starts to read the message out loud.

“Are you four coming or not? The fight starts in 5 minutes and you four are the only ones who aren’t here yet. Also try not to backtalk anyone and please tell Izana-san to try not to fight to the death with Mikey-san, who would like to get to know Izana-san, even if Izana-san hates Mikey-san.” Izana goes a bit quieter when he reaches the part about Mikey. Ran grabs the phone and I can't see what he types until Rindou speaks the message the person sent back, which I am guessing Ran asked who the person is.

“It is better for you not to know who I am yet, but I think you four could figure it out if I gave anymore clues .”  The response confused everyone. Who the fuck sent this? Why do they have my number in the first place? Why do I feel like I should know who it is more than anything?