Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Ben thought that it would be another normal day of destroying liberals, boy was she wrong.
She was watching a video with a catgirl-boy??
She was sad about not being able to make her wife wet earlier, she's a doctor! She should know what's going on!!!
But as the catgirl(boy?she couldn't be gay could she???)did their little dance she felt… something she never felt before. A heat in her cheeks, arousal?

No, I can't be one of those HOMOS!!! That's impossible! I'm married to my wife, who's a doctor! How?? Wait, I'm recording.
"Wow, that's embarrassing… "
She doesn't know why she feels like this… . Maybe i should google it, this is the same feeling i felt towards Fucker Carlson last time i was on Fox… . No we're just friends, sure we fucked that one time but…

When she gets home she can't get that catboy out of her head, her microdick strains against her pants at the thought.(or so she wishes her dick is too tiny)
She opens her phone, it's 3am and Ben cant sleep, and opens TikTok. From memory she types in the username of the catboy, dming them on Twitter.
'hey, I really liked that video of you dancing in that maid outfit… '
And from there they started texting more and more.
One night the homosexual 😨 urges get too strong and she opens chrome, searching gay sex. And then she realizes Fucker only liked her Because he was GAY 😨😨😨😨😨😨😨
AND WANTED TO GET GAY WITH HER ,😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨

*
She decided to finally meet up with the cat boy, she just wanted to see him in that pretty little dress. She wore her own of course.

"Hello, Benny boi… "
She turned around to see the cat boi towering over her small frame.
"He-hello- let's say hypothetically for the sake of the argument w-we went to a hot-hotel room and you railed me"
" Oh well that sounds nice.. " he trailed of looking at his dress that exposed the skin of his thighs and smirked.

When they got to the hotel room she was almost immediately thrown into the bed and undressed by the catboys big, veiny hands that could easily make them bleed out if they got a papercut. Sexy.
"Emkay babygirl… ." The car boy said as they pulled out their ten duotrigintillion inch caulk.
Benny boy could feel the tension, the desire to be bred… the catboy flipped her over and abruptly slid their cock into her asshole.
Benny bitch couldn't control her moan, it felt like her back was breaking- not in the way her grandmas back did.
Her insides were being stretched, and the catboys groans were making her even more horny.
Then they started stroking her caulk.
That's when she came.

Never did she do that with her wife, who was a doctor.

Chapter Text

Ben Shapiro, infamous college student and wife dry-pussy destroyer, had just finished his latest video about the Superman movie. Despite how hard he had been working to suppress his urges, nothing could stop him from indulging..just a little bit. Something about David Corenswet's masculine aura was impossible to stand. He knew for years, from his micropenis and high-pitched voice, that he wasn't the most masculine man, but this new Superman woke something deep inside of him. At first he tried to ignore the masculine allure of Superman by calling the movie "woke" and "anti-israel" in an unstructured rant. Halfway through writing his script, he couldn't help but touch himself to photos of the director. He ended up getting hit by post-nut clarity hard enough to post the video without a script. Shortly after, he watched the movie, which was amazing, and realized he had to reflect his sexual repression onto the liberal leftists. He sipped from his "Leftist tears mug" and switched on his camera.

___

That night, his wife refused to look at him as always. She never even touched him after she found him wearing that damn maid dress.

*"How could you do this to me?! You're supposed to be a good Republican man! I'm only with you for your damn money and for the kids!" After that screaming match, he left the house to.... He slept with a male sex worker. What's even more humiliating to admit is that it wasn't his first time and that he wasn't on the top. What's even MORE humiliating, is that he frequented hispanic sex workers. It's just because his state has a lot of them! It's not like he goes out of his way to DEI his sex life! He knew he was going to hell... If not for his acts against Judeo-christian values, then his hypocrisy. He was a good husband, right? He impregnated his wife, was faithful for as long as he could bear, brought a steady income, and spread the only correct ideology. 

He moaned into the pillow as Diego, a worker he frequented, pounded into his anus. Diego always hit his prostate perfectly. His dress was discarded somewhere on the floor. He didn't even care to bring another change of clothes. The only thing he had on, his cat ears, were falling off his head as he got slammed into the headboard again. He only hoped that his wife felt this good when he fucked her... She didn't. He knew, for years now, that his wife's dry pussy was caused by his own failings. Ben never knew the way to pleasure a woman, so this was a punishment, in a way. Maybe he could get a divorce and live with his remaining income? In one of those evil communist cities? Would that be so- 

Right as his mind was about to change, Ben's wife slammed the door open. Diego, shamefully, pulled his cock out of Ben with a wet slap against his thigh. Ben moaned at the emptiness inside him before he snapped back to reality and stared at his wife with wide eyes. "Why would you do this to me Ben? I thought you were more than a common whore when i married you!"

Ben stood up to explain himself, his legs were wobbly and cum was dripping down his bare legs. "P-please.." He faltered when he realized he forgot his wife's name.

"You are coming home NOW and never doing this shit again, you hear me??" Just like every woman, she only kept Ben around for his money. This would be a "girlboss feminism" moment if she weren't a misogynist who married one of the worst right wing political commentators out there.*

He sat up and went to leave the room, his wife was asleep. Or she was feigning sleep, at the very least. Diego had fled the room and refused to service him after that. In his words he "¡Nunca me acostaría con un hombre casado!"

Whatever the hell that meant. Ben doesn't speak Taco Bell. He shouldn't even feel bad about Diego. Hell- Diego was probably an illegal immigrant anyway... But god, was he good. Ben went to his office, the one he had spent so many years slaving away in for an ideology he had only grifted into. Sam Seder had offered to debate him, but Ben could only debate college students. And Seder was too damn hot. Ben Shapiro had always found it impossible to look a dominant man in the eyes... Especially after Diego... STOP THINKING ABOUT DIEGO, BEN!!

Ben's phone buzzed and he looked down at it. None other than Donald John Trump himself had sent him a DM. The most masculine, dominant, and beautifully stupid blond in the world. He was practically drooling as he opened the message. It had an address and some very suggestive text:

"I'm in los angels and the secret service, the best and the greatest secret service ever in the country, left me alone. im all alone in my hotel room"

Ben Shapiro had assumed that Donald was with Biden, but that did nothing to stop him from grabbing his keys and running out the door after fumbling to put on suitable clothing for his dear, orange, dicktator. 

Ben was in for the time of his life. 

Stay tuned to watch Ben Shapiro fight Vladimir Putin, Joe FUCKING Biden, Kim Jong Un, Justkilled Dapope Vance, Elon Musk, and his wife for that orange cock.