Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chai genuinely forgot it was March, let alone that April Fools is coming up. Oddly enough it’s Peppermint that reminds him.

He’s hanging out with 808 because he got back from work early and she stayed at the hideout to nap all day. They’re currently scribbling on some whiteboards because CNMN got a new pack of markers and gave them his drying ones to go nuts with. 

He’s working on his handwriting with his right hand and 808 is trying to draw the inside of a toaster. For whatever reason. Honestly with how steady 808’s paw is it’s not a bad drawing. Her lines are way more neat than his attempts at print, for what that’s worth.

He doesn’t think anything of the door opening and closing until Peppermint stops and stares at them, only halfway to her desk. He looks up from his whiteboard.

Peppermint crosses her arms over her chest. “What are you doing?”

“Uh.” Not an eloquent response, but he doesn’t want to show her how little progress he’s made with his fine motor control. So he just takes an eraser to the board. “Nothing.”

“Really? I find that hard to believe.” Peppermint says. 

Now Chai’s even more confused. 808 meets his gaze when he looks at her and shrugs.  “We really weren’t doing anything. Do you need something?”

“No, but I’m onto you.” Peppermint points at them both. “Don’t think I’ll forget your scheming and get caught off guard. Four days isn’t that long.”

And then she goes to her computer and puts her headphones on like she wasn’t just super cryptic for no reason. 808 puts a paw to her chin then taps it against her other wrist. The time? Or does she mean the date?

Chai leans to one side of the couch and reaches for the tablet on the coffee table. He clicks it on and checks the date and time.

It’s five in the afternoon on a Tuesday in March. March 28th, to be specific. Nothing about that rings any bells or alarms in his brain.

He unlocks the tablet and opens the calendar app to see if he’s missed a holiday or something. The Ides of March already passed so this isn’t about that-

Oh. Huh. April Fools is on Saturday.

But what does that have to do with anything? Chai doesn’t pull pranks on his friends, like, ever. He’s usually the one getting pranked by people. Peppermint couldn’t have been giving him a heads up that she’s plotting something, right? She thinks they’re up to something!

808 leans over his shoulder to see what he’s looking at so he highlights April first on the calendar. 808 lights up in realization but then looks similarly stumped. Because they really weren’t plotting anything.

Chai looks over at where Peppermint’s working on some personal project and considers his options. She already thinks they’re going to prank her and they won’t be able to convince her otherwise until it’s April second and the shoe never drops. Letting her stay vigilante over nothing feels a little weird to him, though.

“I’m not sure if I want to prank anyone, to be honest.” He says to 808. “The pranks people pulled on me really sucked.”

808 moves from his shoulder to sit beside him, whiteboards forgotten and already semi-dry markers left uncapped. She looks up at him and puts a paw on his arm.

“Yeah, you might find it surprising but kids are mean. Like—” Chai double checks that Peppermint’s not listening in before he continues. “One time, when I was twelve, some guy I didn’t even know and his buddies dumped paint on me when I was walking home.”

808 is shocked.

“I know! Who does that? It took an hour to get it out of my hair. I was so lucky they didn’t get any in my eyes. And the less said about glitter pranks the better.” Chai fidgets with his scarf. “The point is I didn’t have a lot of friends and I don’t like it when people hurt others or, like, scare them for a laugh. So I don’t really prank people. Puns are victimless humor and a lot more fun, y’know?”

808 nods. She crawls into his lap to purr and provide comfort.

“Thanks, 808.”

He looks at the tablet still in hand.

“Although…” Chai says. “I bet if we really try we can think of some harmless stuff we can do.”

She looks up at him curiously. 

“Nothing broken or damaged beyond repair. Nothing too personal or pointed. Just some silly stuff. I could get behind that.” Chai opens a web browser on the tablet. “You down to do some actual scheming, 808?”

She gives him a kitty smile and nods, moving to grab his clear whiteboard and one of the uncapped markers.

“Okay, then. Let’s get to work.”

Chapter Text

Peppermint was expecting it.

She’s caught 808 and Chai planning together several times since Tuesday. They’ve stopped being subtle about it entirely.

So she isn’t surprised at all when Chai approaches her just after breakfast with an arm behind his back and a very smug looking 808 on his shoulder. She’s ready for whatever nonsense they’re going to throw at her.

“Lay it on me, Chai. What’s the master plan you’ve been cooking up together?” She asks, leaning back in her chair.

Chai grins and extends his hand without a word.

It’s… a peanut brittle can. A very obvious snake in a can trick.

“That’s it?” There is no shortage of suspicion here. That can’t be it. Even Chai wouldn’t be snickering all week over something this cliche.

Chai keeps his hand held out. “Open it.”

She takes it gingerly, like the slightest contact is going to make its contents pop open. There’s clearly something in it that isn’t actually peanut brittle because it weighs but doesn’t rattle in the slightest when she shakes it side to side. A toy snake then. Not what she was expecting but a relief all the same.

“Alright, let’s get this over with.” Peppermint angles the can’s opening away from her face and pops the lid off.

…

Nothing happens.

She looks at Chai in mild confusion only to find he and 808 are still smiling. They look expectant. She tilts the can to check inside.

There’s candy in it. A couple fun-sized pieces of candy sitting on some tissues that kept them from making any noise. There’s also a folded note she pulls out.

Check the bottom of the can, it reads.

She lifts up the can and looks at it. There is a single word written in cursive in sharpie.

Gullible!

“April Fools!” Chai chirps. 808 echoes him with a gleeful meow.

Peppermint’s smiling. “I can admit it, you got me.”

Chai, absolute dork that he is, gives a cheer and fist bumps 808. 

Peppermint takes one of the little foil covered chocolates in the can they gave her and eats it as they rush off saying something about catching up with Korsica next.

Not bad.

Chapter Text

She was going to need more coffee for this.

Korsica’s day starts off normal enough. It’s the weekend so she doesn’t have to go to work. She eats an early breakfast and heads over to her office regardless. Despite Chai’s advice she’s still not one for sleeping in. She likes to feel productive even when she’s not on the clock.

Plus she’s not too keen on sticking around the hideout long enough to witness wherever tomfoolery will be taking place today. Peppermint seems adamant that Chai and 808 are up to something and the further she can get from whatever they’ve cooked up the better.

Besides, her coffee machine is still putting out decaf. It pays to leave for her office early so she can treat herself to something caffeinated on the way. On weekends there’s no rush at all, meaning she can sit and sip her coffee instead of drinking it on the L.I.F.T.

Her favorite place is a little number called the Baritone Coffee Bar. Peppermint took her there for their first date and she’s been going there every morning ever since.

“Order for Korsica?” A barista calls. 

Korsica walks up to the counter to take her drink. “Thank you!”

“Oh, hold on a second. I almost forgot.” The barista, whose name tag Korsica can see reads Mocha, takes her drink back for just a moment. She sticks something onto the side and hands it back to her with a smile. “Have a nice day!”

“You as well.” Korsica responds out of habit as she walks towards a corner booth.

That was a little odd, but Korsica smiles when she sees what was done. The barista put some googly eyes on the side of her cup. Cute.

She pulls her laptop out of her work bag and looks at some cat videos while she has her coffee. A fine start to her morning.

Her commute is uneventful. L.I.F.T. repairs are finally over so it’s no longer an OSHA violation. She steps onto the elevator and thanks whatever higher power kept the nodes in place today. She’d hate to have to call Chai or Peppermint in to fix them on a weekend.

In no time at all she’s opened the door to her office and stepped inside. At first she doesn’t notice anything off. She puts down the bagged apple fritter she bought to have as a snack later and drapes her jacket over the back of her chair.

Then she gets a good look at her stuff and freezes.

There are googly eyes on things. The monitor, the mug that holds her pens, the staplers, the desk drawer, and even on the PC right above where CDs get put in.

She’s not sure why she thought Chai wouldn’t put a prank in her office, because this was clearly Chai, but in hindsight it’s pretty clear she should’ve anticipated this.

She’s careful poking around the rest of her things, but this seems to be the extent of it. Her computer turns on fine, no jumpscare or anything. When she goes to get some decaf from her break room she finds her appliances also have eyes on them. It seems that he just picked a bit and committed to it.

If she’s being honest, it’s a little charming. She’ll take the eyes down later but she has to admit that watching the PC disc drive open and shut is cute. Maybe she’ll leave some.

She hears some thumps in the vent above her and hastily scoots back from her desk. You only make that mistake once.

Apparently Chai’s learned something from that day too, because he removes the grate and looks in without toppling out of it. “Hey, Korsica! It’s good to see you.”

“Very funny, Chai.” Korsica says instead of groaning. He can have one today and he just wasted it. “How’d you even get all these in here? I left late last night and you were there when I got back.”

“I had an accomplice.” Chai grins and 808’s face pops into view, looking so proud of herself. “I’d love to stay and chat, but we’ve got one more place to be.”

“What, did you cover Macaron’s office in glitter?” Korsica asks.

Chai’s smile falls a bit before 808 pats him and he gets excited again. 

“Nope! But if he likes them then we’ll probably see some around the hideout too.” He says, explaining nothing.

He pulls back into the vent and goes two steps before stopping. 

“Oh!” He calls from the vent. “And April Fools!”

Korsica shakes her head fondly as they sprint through the vent loudly. Those two.