Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Mark Zuckerberg was always known to be an omega by his fellow millionaire colleagues and was even desired by many, mainly Putin, but he always kept his distance from most men. What people didn't see past his badonkadonk was his desire to find his one true love...his only alpha. However, in a world so dominated by badonkadonk lovers, he was at a loss. So doing what any girl boss would do, he decided to put all of his energy into his career. With that, he successfully did something with Facebook and I mean that's kinda lame for a girl boss move but go off ig. However, no matter how much time he spent away from love, he always couldn't help but feel a hint of sadness in his heart. In the end, he was still yearning for the touch of his one true alpha. If only he knew who it was. Little did he know though, his alpha was much closer than he thought.

It was a windy day, and Mark was stuck carrying a stack of papers for the ultra rich and ultra not lizard people meeting. As soon as he stepped outside, a gust of wind came over him and blew away a few papers. While he managed to keep the majority of the stack in place, he saw the stray papers heading towards a puddle. Although he had prepared for the worst, a random hand caught them from landing in it.

"Excuse me, are these your's?", a deep voice asked.

"Yes, thank you for catching them", Mark nervously replied, reaching out for the papers.

However, as Mark grabbed the papers from the stranger's hand, their hands brushed against each other for a brief moment. A jolt of electricity went down Mark's back, something that was rare for omegas like him. Could this be what he had been looking for? Mark finally looked up at the stranger, and he felt his face instantly turn red. The stranger was a man who smiled down at him and had a bald shiny head that glistened in the sunlight. His face was also extremely familiar, but it took him a second to realize it.

"Ah, you're-"

"My name's Jeff Bezos", he continued, "and judging by these documents, this must be where the ultra rich and ultra not lizard people meeting is being held?", Jeff asked.

All Mark could do was nod in fear of embarrassing himself in front of the man. Almost everyone knew who Jeff Bezos was, he was the founder of the minion fan club after all. Oh, and he did Amazon I guess. Either way, Mark knew that he was an extremely influential man and that he may also be his alpha... the thought sent shivers down Mark's spine. Finally, he managed to regain his composure around Jeff.

"The meeting should start soon. Should we um, head inside?", Mark asked nervously, his stomach doing flips as Jeff smiled at him again.

"Let's head in Mr...?"

"Mark. Mark Zuckerberg"

"How did I not guess", Jeff said with a smirk on his face.

As the two walked into the building, they hit it off instantly. Jeff made small talk about different ways to waste money instead of doing anything productive, which greatly interested Mark. In return, Mark shared his passion for sunscreen and large sandwiches, which was very inspiring to Jeff. As they laughed together at jokes and interests, Mark couldn't help get red every time he thought of Jeff's hand brushing against his, which he hoped Jeff didn't notice. During the meeting, Mark couldn't look away from Jeff for one second. The way he spoke and convinced the other millionaires about issues he was kinda too dumb to understand set a fire in his cold millionaire heart. There were times when Mark could swear that he saw Jeff look at him while talking and flashed him a smile. During the end of the meeting, Mark had managed to catch Jeff alone.

"Hello there, Mr. Zuckerberg", Jeff said with a playful smile.

"Mark is fine", he said, smiling back as he blushed slightly.

"Well Mark, would you mind telling me about this upcoming party?", Jeff asked, which had slipped Mark's mind and caught him off guard.

"I almost forgot about that. It's to celebrate the queen of the ultra not lizard people, Dora The Explorer. Are you attending?", Mark asked.

"I was thinking about it, but I wouldn't like to go alone. Are you going with anyone?", Jeff asked. Mark's heart sped up. Could he be asking him out? Trying to keep his composure, Mark managed to look Jeff in the eyes.

"I'm not going with anyone. I-If you want to join me-"

"I'd love to", Jeff said before Mark could finish, "It's a date then?"

"Yes, it's a date", Mark said, his shy smile now replaced with confidence, on the inside he was freaking out.

The two parted ways, unaware of the life-changing events that would happen after this fateful encounter

Chapter Text

It was the day of the ultra not lizard people party, and Mark Zuckerberg was getting ready in his Nicki Minaj themed mansion in the Caribbean. He wore his signature Facebook shirt paired with tight hot pink booty shorts which were an unspoken omega tradition. To top it all off, he put a copious amount of sunscreen on his face. His butler, Bertram from the hit Disney series, escorted him to his private jet, which was also Nicki Minaj themed. They flew all the way to London where the Ultra Not Lizard people party was being held.

Once they arrived, Jeff Bezos was nowhere to be seen. Mark was frantically looking around for any sign of a shiny bald head, but there was none. Just as Mark began to lose hope, he heard the deep sexy voice that belonged to an alpha.

"Sorry I'm late. The pigeon spies held me up"

Mark turned around and blushed at the sight of his date. He wore a minion print tuxedo, with rainbow crocs, that both complemented his recently polished head that glistened in the moonlight. For a minute, the two only stared at each other before Mark gathered the courage to speak.

"I-It's alright. I just got here as well", Mark said with a shy smile, knowing what he said was a lie but it was worth it for the charming smile that Jeff had.

"I'm glad. Let's head inside and greet the queen"

Arm in arm, Mark and Jeff walked into the ballroom looking at each other with an air of confidence. The ballroom was magnificent and filled with the most influential people in the world, including JoJo Siwa. In the center of the throne sat Queen Elizabeth. Once everyone invited was present, saxophones began to play and Queen Elizabeth stood up. However, instead of making a speech, she began to tear the flesh off of her face and make a guttural screech. Soon enough, Dora The Explorer stood in place of the Queen.

"Hola! Soy Dora!"

And with that, the festivities began.

The music grew louder and they were playing WAP saxophone beat version with Cardi B herself on lead sax. Everyone in the ballroom grabbed a partner and began to do a variety of strange dances, mainly including river dancing. Although the rest of the world around them was lively, the only thing that Mark could focus on was Jeff's bald head that was illuminated in the light. Jeff was also entranced by Mark, and his very wet sunscreen layered face.

"Would you care to dance?",Jeff finally asked.

"I'd thought you'd never ask", Mark said, his shy smile turning confident for once, which surprised him just as much as it surprised Jeff.

And so they danced. As much as I would like to narrate a normal ballroom dance scene, the ultra not lizard people had strange traditions. First they did the hokey pokey, which then turned into a very morbid version of the chicken dance where some lizard people chopped each other's heads off and ran around headless, and then finally they did the WAP dance. The festivities ended when Cardi B did one final toot on the saxophone. The two stared at each other, slightly out of breath but with admiration in their eyes for each other. Because they were so entranced with one another, they didn't notice that everyone was staring at them, predicting them to be the next hot couple.

"Let's go get a drink", Jeff said, breaking the silence and nodding to a bar people were crowding to.

Mark nodded happily, relieved that he'd finally get to know more about Jeff. The bar was Mickey Mouse themed, which seemed to have the perfect atmosphere for relaxing. They had a wonderful time talking about random things and ordering various drinks, which Jeff naturally covered being the alpha. After they talked about their business, the question of personal lives arose.

"So, what made you get into business?", Mark asked with a curious glint in his eye.

"Hm well I never really intended to be one. In fact when I was little I always wanted to be an astronaut", Jeff said with a smile.

(A/N: this takes place before zaddy bezos got super horny 4 space)

"And why didn't you go for that?", Mark asked.

Jeff's smile faltered for a minute as he hesitated to answer his question. It clearly wasn't a question he had expected, and Mark immediately regretted asking.

"I-I'm sorry! You don't have to answer if it's hard for you-"

Before Mark could continue his endless apologies, Jeff continued.

"No need to apologize. You just caught me by surprise, that's all", he said with a smile that calmed Mark down instantly

"Well.. I grew up the middle child in a wealthy family. Because no one expected anything from me, I was free to pursue anything I'd like. Naturally, my oldest brother inherited my father's pube trimming company, and I was studying space. However, my brother wasn't always the best decision maker and my father's company soon went bankrupt. Then my cousin twice removed approached me. He said that he admired my shiny bald head and wanted to pass off his shipping company to me. I wanted to refuse at first but my family was suffering. So, I accepted his offer, grew my business, and here we are", Jeff said with a heavy sigh.

Mark was silent for a moment. He had never realized that Jeff's success and wealth could have been something that he never wanted but was something that was forced upon him. Mark's heart sank. He achieved his success with Facebook by sheer luck but he still felt Jeff's pain for him.

Jeff noticed Mark's sad expression. He knew that he probably shouldn't have told his story since it was such a downer, but he couldn't help himself when it came to Mark. He wanted Mark to learn everything about him, to be impressed by him, and maybe even to have him all to himself. Of course, Jeff knew that wasn't possible. Mark wasn't his to own.

Just as Jeff was about to apologize, Mark surprised him once more. Mark grabbed Jeff's hand, his grip firm for his delicate hands, and looked up at Jeff with kind glittering eyes.

"I was impressed before but now I'm taken away by your ability to do what's right. You're not a cold CEO. You're full of compassion, Jeff. Be proud of that", Mark whispered to Jeff with a soft smile.

Jeff couldn't believe what was happening. This omega that he only just met a day ago was making him open up more than he ever had in his life. A small part of him was scared to open up completely, but the majority of him wanted to spill out every thought in his head to the kind omega. Out of pure impulse, Jeff intertwined his fingers with Mark's and gazed into his eyes intensely. For only a moment, time seemed to slow. As they stared at each other, they grew closer and closer. Mark could feel Jeff's soft breath on him. Their lips were almost touching and then-

Jeff's phone rang. Why did he forget to turn it off at the worst moments? He was about to turn it off, but one glance at Mark and he could tell that the moment was over. He felt extremely disappointed in himself until he saw who the caller was. He abruptly stood up, which started Mark.

"I'm sorry, I have to take this", he said with a smile, although it seemed much more sad than the rest of them.

Mark was in a daze as Jeff walked off, taking his phone call. Perhaps it was a business call? No wait. Jeff was good at business, so why did he seem so nervous? Mark watched as Jeff paced around and spoke in a hushed and almost frantic tone. Did something personal happen? Well Mark couldn't do anything then. As much as he'd like to think he was, he really wasn't that close to Jeff. They had only known each other for a few days after all. When Jeff walked back, he looked more nervous than he did when he left.

"I'm sorry to interrupt our fun with my personal life but um... I have a family emergency. You could stay at the party if you'd like though! I'll have a personal driver come and take you home-" Jeff was cut off when Mark pressed his finger to his lips, making Jeff blush slightly.

"It's alright, Jeff. I have my own driver and I really don't plan on staying any longer. But if you really don't mind, could we walk out together.

Jeff seemed surprised at first, or at least surprised that Mark didn't seem disappointed in him. In reality, Mark was full of uncertainty. He wanted so badly to learn what Jeff was still hiding from him, why he had to leave so badly, and if there was still a chance... a small chance for some romance between them. Before Mark's thoughts were clouded even more by self doubt, a small smile appeared on Jeff's lips.

"You're absolutely right. Would you do me the honor of accompanying me out, Mr. Zuckerberg?", he asked, holding his arm out for him like a true gentleman so that Mark couldn't help but smile.

"I'd love to, Mr. Bezos", he said as he linked arms with Jeff. Mark had feared that it would be awkward, but it was quite the opposite. The two said goodbyes to people who passed them by, but mostly walked in silence. However they both enjoyed each other's warmth, even though they were at the cold blooded ultra not lizard party. At last, the moment came when they both walked to the elevator. Soon they'd be parting and there was no guarantee that they'd be seeing each other again, although Mark was hopeful.

As the elevator door closed, they were both completely alone. Although it was a small difference to most, it was very different to them both. The whole night they had been in the presence of prying eyes, and although they'd try to ignore it, they still had to keep some appearances. But now they were finally and completely alone.

"What a night, huh", Jeff said with a sigh.

"I think it was fun for the most part", Mark replied with a smile.

"Do you know what would make it better?", Jeff asked.

"What would?"

"A promise that we'll see each other again"

"That's a promise I can keep. But we should find a way to make sure we both keep it"

"Like what-"

Before Jeff could finish, Mark grabbed Jeff by the collar of his shirt and kissed him. Jeff was surprised at first, but once he realized what was happening, he gladly kissed him back. Although it was only a few seconds long, it'd seem to last forever. They only pulled away when they noticed the elevator door was opening.

The two stared at each other, not knowing what to say for a moment. And in this moment, Jeff knew he had fallen in love. And it was in this moment also, that Mark had fallen in love harder.

"Shall I escort you-"

"No need. My butler is waiting just around the corner", Mark said, interrupting Jeff.

"Always on top of things, are you?", Jeff said with a smirk

"Always", Mark replied.

He began to walk off, leaving Jeff in the elevator, but suddenly decided to turn back. He quickly ran up to him and kissed him one more time. Jeff, once more not expecting this, turned red.

"Goodbye", Mark said with a shy smile.

"Goodbye", Jeff said, and soon the elevator door closed leaving Mark alone with himself, but still full of love.

Chapter Text

It wasn't uncommon for Mark to stay awake later than he should. Even if he had nothing to busy himself with, he would simply stare at the wall and think about nothing in particular. Nothing as the memories began to resurface. But Mark always decided to do anything else to avoid remembering. He was used to sleepless nights occupied by meaningless projects, but the night of the ball was different.

After Bertram, from the hit Disney series Jessie, flew him back home, all of his staff was prepared to bring him more useless materials for him to work with, but were pleasantly surprised when he ignored everyone and immediately crashed into bed.
Maybe it was the stress of all the weeks of preparing for the ball that had finally hit him hard or maybe it was the large quantities of social interaction... Or maybe... just maybe... he was dreaming of Jeff Bezos' shiny head.

The next morning was a little bit of a hectic one, to say the least. Because of Mark's fabulous dream, none of his servants wanted to wake him up. Eventually, they did, but he was already off schedule. His private jet didn't arrive fast enough, and he arrived ten minutes late the Supreme Manager, Gandalf, gave him a stern lecture afterward.

Although it wasn't a very good start, Mark was still optimistic. After all, the connection he had with Jeff Bezos was something he never had before. As he finished the last of his work, he decided to head down to the cafeteria, even though Bertram had packed him lunch. He felt bad, but he needed to see if he could catch Jeff on his lunch break. To spare Bertram's feelings he would just eat lunch on the jet ride back.

As Mark walked down to the cafeteria, he noticed more stares than usual from all the other employees. Mark was used to stares, of course. After all, he was quite famous for his skills and unique looks. But these stares seemed a little different. They usually only lasted for 4 seconds and then they went on with life. But they didn't this time. It was as if they were enraptured by him. Normally Mark would feel timid by all the looks that he was getting and run away, but not this time. The ball had left him feeling as if he were a more confident version of himself, so he started to like the stares.

As he was getting his tuna salad because only weird white "people" eat that, he felt a male presence behind him. Mark turned around hopefully but was slightly disappointed by the lack of a shiny head. His disappointment disappeared once he saw a clear view of who he was.

He was surprised to see his lifelong best friend Elon Musk. It was shocking that he let out a queef but it was a very elegant queef. It had been so long since he'd seen Elon. He left for the war years ago, and Mark feared for so long that his friend was lost forever. But, here he was, in front of him, flesh and blood and real.
"Elon! You're back from the war," Mark said, "I... I thought you were dead."
"I'm not," Elon said, his voice gruffer than Mark remembered. "Almost was, though."

Mark recalled the horror stories he'd heard. Ever since building his Facebook empire, he'd been far removed from all the destruction. But it was a savage war between the Millionaires and PETA. The Millionaires had thought they would easily win, but the PETA warriors almost outnumbered them. Millions of Millionaires died, which explained why the percentage of rich people was 1.1%. Elon was supposed to be one of the millions that have died. After all, the war ended 3 years ago...

Thousands of emotions flooded Mark. He had mourned over Elon and thought he had lost a part of him.. but now he was here. Then a thousand questions flooded over his emotions. Why was he here at the ultra not lizard people company? When did he get back? What happened to him? Why wasn't he saying anything? All Elon did while Mark processed the information, was stare at him with his moss green eyes that were full of mystery that Mark couldn't even begin to understand. Mark wanted to ask all these questions, but all of his confidence had left his body and the timid man that he thought he'd left behind at the ball had returned.

"W-Well... Welcome back!", Mark said with an incredibly forced smile.

Elon smiled back, although it was a little uneasy. Then to Mark's surprise, he held out his arm just like he always used to before the war.

"Would you care to walk with me, Mr Zuckerberg?," Elon said with such grace that for a strange second, he was a mirror image of Jeff.

"I would love to," Mark said with a smile and he held onto Elon's arm, completely forgetting about lunch.

The two walked around the garden, Elon totally absorbed in the architecture that had been added while he was away.

"I certainly don't remember that piece. Much more detailed than the rest of the headquarters", Elon mumbled to himself with a soft smile.

Mark couldn't help but smile too. Despite how stoic and unapproachable Elon seemed, even before the war, he had always had a soft spot for his interests and the people he cared about. Behind that rigid appearance was actually a heart of gold, and it warmed Mark's heart to know that at least some of his old friend was still there.

But the Mark began to think of what wasn't there. Elon had changed in appearance, that was for sure. His face was covered in tiny scars, the largest one going down his entire eye. He was no longer the elegant and pristine man from before. He was a war hero. Just how much did he see? How much of the pain was he repressing right now? Why was he acting like everything was normal? Was he really the same? All of these questions made Mark stagger back, but he didn't dare ask any of them.

Elon turned his head towards Mark with a slightly confused look.

"Are you alright?", Elon asked, his tone soft.

Mark immediately bolted upright and brushed his hands against his pants, a thing he did when he was nervous.

"O-Of course!", Mark said with another forced smile.

Elon replied with a soft smile, as if he had already knew what was going on. He then kneeled down towards the flower beds and admired their beauty.

"Yellow roses? I thought Queen Dora only liked Red", Elon said.

"She had them imported recently. I think they make a great addition!", Mark replied, relieved to have a conversation starter.

"Of course you do. Yellow is your favorite color after all. You must've requested them"

"How did you-"

"I know you, Mark", Elon said as he picked the rose and stood up, "And I especially know when you're holding back your emotions"

Mark went quiet. How was he supposed to respond? Elon always knew that emotional confrontation wasn't Mark's specialty, so that's why he usually needed a push.

Elon walked towards Mark and placed the flower in his hair, brushing against his cheek ever so slightly. Mark stared into Elon's eyes, filled with concern. He felt guilty for repressing his feelings to his life long best friend. Guilty for not trusting him.

"I brought you here because no one else is around, you can let it all out", Elon said in a soothing tone.

And suddenly Mark did. A bunch of tears began to roll down Mark's face and soon he was catching his breaths between sobs.

"E-Elon...! W-Why didn't you tell me you were alive?! I-I thought you were dead!"

"I wanted to, Mark. I really did but...", Elon hesitated and Mark knew that he couldn't tell him just yet.

Mark tried to console himself, but it ultimately failed. Elon was about to give a consoling hug like he always used to do until they both heard a loud growl.
"Don't touch him!"

Mark looked up in terror. A huge white wolf came running towards them. Instantly, Elon stepped in front of Mark and transformed into a great black wolf. Mark was confused but then he realized that the bald spot on the wolf's head greatly resembled Jeff. The two wolves were snarling at each other and were dangerously close to fighting.

"Stop! Dont hurt each other!", Mark yelled.

The two stopped, and begrudgingly, Elon transformed back into his human form first. Jeff bared his teeth one last time and transformed back too.

"Mark! Are you alright? Was he hurting you?", Jeff asked in a panicked voice as he grew closer to Mark.

"Of course not! Elon is my friend", Mark said, slightly defensively.

"Then... Why were you crying?", Jeff asking, glancing at Elon suspiciously.

"Aha um... Yknow... Omega heat cycles", Mark said.

Both Elon and Jeff blushed. Mark then realized what he said was incredibly stupid.

"Ahem..  I believe it's my turn to ask the questions now", Elon said, coldness in his voice.

"Have at it", Jeff said, glaring at Elon.

"Very well. Who exactly are you and what relationship do you have with Mark?"

"You don't know who I am? I'm Jeff Bezos. My name is on the billboard. I'm Mark's-"

Jeff hesitated. Mark looked at Jeff in anticipation. Could it be that they were official now?

"I'm Mark's friend", he said stiffly.

Mark's face fell. Just friends? Was he still hesitant? Was it just around Elon? Confusion flooded his judgment.

"I um... Have a meeting to go to now. It was nice seeing you Mark. Mark's other friend", Jeff said as he gave Mark a squeeze on the shoulder and walked off.

"Hmph. How undignified. But I'm afraid I'll have to go too. The queen wants to meet with me", Elon said as he glanced at Mark.

"O-Oh! Have fun!", Mark said with a weak smile.

Elon gave one last concerned glance at Mark before he too walked off. And so Mark was alone again. Left with the emotions that were unresolved and a new question to lose sleep over.

Were Jeff and him... just friends?

Chapter Text

     Mark Zuckerberg was a curious man. His mind simply didn't work in the ways that most omegas did. Which would explain why his moments of peaceful sleep escaped as quickly as they came.

At night, his servants began to prepare random night activities for Mark to do because he was no longer able to sleep ever so peacefully. Not since the day before. The fateful day that Elon returned. A day that should've made him the happiest. Instead, there was only guilt.

He felt guilty for not being able to track Elon when he went to MIA in the war. He felt guilty for overthinking and questioning his relationship with Jeff, all because Jeff had said they were only friends in front of Elon. The thing he felt the most guilty about was the way his heart fluttered when Elon held him when he had already felt like he would be Jeff's since their first encounter.

The next day, Mark showed up on time. His mind was still active, and he had no time to oversleep. For his outfit, he chose his signature Facebook shirt paired with hot pink leggings and clown shoes, and for special effect, he added one extra layer of sunscreen to his already pasty white face.

When he arrived, his department manager, Rebel Willson, from the hit movie "Pitch Perfect 2" handed him a large document.

"Aye, we got a 2 o'clock 5 timer, mate," she said as she passed him a Bob Ross painting that was comically large.

"Right, I'll get on that. See you at the meeting then, " Mark replied with a sweet smile as he walked off.

Truth be told, he had no idea what Rebel had said. Neither had Rebel herself. She was actually just there for color palette reasons. In all actuality, Mark was the one who truly ran the department of social image and mind control. It sounds like a fancy and important title, and it was. I mean, why do you think people still use Facebook despite it being a boomer app? MIND CONTROL. The only reason why he let Rebel Wilson act as the manager was because of his fear of failure, but for some reason, he felt that it might change.

Mark stumbled down the hallway, carrying the comically large painting. To his knowledge, it would be displayed at the meeting he was heading to. Mark was determined to make sure it got there in one piece, but the painting was too comically large for his fragile arms. Unfortunately for Mark, he took one wrong step, and both he and the painting were about to fall.

Before Mark could do anything, a pair of strong hands grabbed him by the waist.

"Need help there?" A deep and familiar voice asked.

Mark could see the glimmer of light on an impressively bald head and couldn't help but smile.

"Jeff!!" he said happily as Jeff helped him regain balance.

"Heading to the meeting?" He asked, holding the comically large painting just to be safe.

"Mhm! That painting is supposed to be on display," Mark said, pointing at the comically large painting, "but I just don't understand why it has to be so... large!"

Jeff let out a chuckle.

"Well, y'know what they say about Bob. His dreams were as big as his hair, " He said as Mark giggled at his very attractive dad joke.

The two walked down to the elevator together, enjoying each other's company and occasionally chatting about the queen and politics and such, Jeff carrying the painting all the way like the true gentleman he was.

As the two approached the elevator, the steel doors opened slowly, and to both Jeff's and Mark's surprise, Elon walked out. The expression on Elon's face was neutral, with no emotion whatsoever in his eyes, until he saw Mark's face. His eyes lit up for a split second and dimmed the moment he saw the shiny bald head standing next to him.

"Elon! Good to see you!" Jeff said first with a hint of fake enthusiasm, knowing he would have to play nice to Elon if only for a minute.

Elon completely ignored him and turned to Mark instead.

"Mark. Your sunscreen isn't blended in here," he said softly as he leaned down towards Mark and swiped a bit of sunscreen off his nose with his thumb.

This action seemed to catch both Mark and Jeff off guard. Mark's face reddened upon such close contact with Elon and muttered some inaudible words of thanks. Jeff glared at Elon, and Elon met his eyes the moment he pulled away from Mark, and for a split second, Jeff could've sworn there was a sense of smug superiority in Elon's eyes.

"A-Ah! Elon, you'll be at the meeting, right?" Mark asked, quickly regaining his composure from the sudden contact.

"I am. Although I might be a little late. I have... business to take care of," he said, and Mark nodded with a smile.

"Aw, that's a shame! You could've gone up with me and Jeff!"

"You're right. It is quite a shame"

A detail that escaped Jeff seemed to catch his attention. On the sleeve of Elon's white button-down was a splash of blood that Mark hadn't seemed to take note of. And for some strange reason, Mark could tell it wasn't his own. So that's what he meant by business. Elon and Jeff made eye contact once more, this time only a split second longer than he intended to, and from the strange intense look that Elon gave him, Jeff knew that Elon wouldn't mind if he was just another blood splatter on his shirt.

"Ahh! It's half past 3! We might be late too if we don't hurry!" Mark said, breaking the strange silence.

"Of course! Then let's get going!" Jeff replied with a smile.

"See you, Elon!" Mark said as he gave Elon a quick hug and then went into the elevator.

"Right... See you, Elon," Jeff said, and in return, Elon gave him a strange look.

Jeff, with his good mood, somewhat watered down, pushed the button for the top floor, and the doors began to close, and for a split second, Jeff could've sworn he saw the icy glare of Elon's electric blue eyes.

(A/N: Idfk what color his eyes are. I'm just assuming he's a product incest)

Once the doors closed all the way, Jeff let out a sigh of relief.

"Man, that was... rough. Is he always like that?" Jeff asked as he looked down at Mark.

"Unapproachable? Yep! That's just why you have to be persistent with him!" Mark replied cheerfully.

"Huh. You sure do know him well. "

"Of course! We're childhood friends, after all!"

Jeff smiled. Seeing Mark in such a good mood seemed to be interesting to him. It was as if he finally got to see the Mark everyone knew and respected, although Mark didn't seem to know that himself.

"Childhood friends, huh? It's kinda funny," Jeff said as he leaned against the wall of the elevator that obviously took really long because, of course, it did.

"What's funny?" Mark asked as he looked up at Jeff.

"You know about my story, but I know nothing about yours."

Mark hesitated for a moment. While the thought was endearing, the idea of Jeff being curious about Mark's past seemed to paralyze him. Mark let out a soft laugh as he nervously clutched onto his shirt.

"Well, um.. There's nothing really to note on it."

"I find that hard to believe."

"No, really! The only interesting thing was that I was friends with Elon," Mark said nervously, almost scared.

Noticing Mark's tone, Jeff could tell that he was uncomfortable with the topic of his past.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, Mark. I didn't mean to pry."

"I'm sorry. There's just.. a lot of it," Mark said with a nervous smile.

"Well, you're a mystery, that's for sure," Jeff said with a dry smile.

"Well, maybe you'll find out for yourself soon."

"I sure hope so."

Perhaps the two of them didn't know what was going on until they gazed into each other's eyes, and before they knew it, their lips were about to touch.

And then there was the screeching of the elevator doors coming open, and both Mark and Jeff turned to see the very pissed off face of Elon.

♡︎♡︎♡︎
"Ah! Elon-" Mark said, exasperated as he pulled away from Jeff.

"Oh, hello Elon- I thought you were on an entirely different floor," Jeff said with a forced smile.

"I was," Elon said gruffly, "but I decided to take the long way up."

Before either of them could protest, Elon pushed his way through the elevator and stepped in between Mark and Jeff.

The doors closed again, and there was an uncomfortable silence. It was far too awkward for Mark to deal with for another 20 floors. He tried to steal a glance at Jeff, but Elon's large body blocked the way. Suddenly the doors opened once more and Mark saw an opportunity.

"Haha, on second thought, I'll take the stairs. Cardio's important, after all! Bye, Jeff! Bye Elon," Mark said as he quickly rushed out the doors before anyone could say anything.

The doors closed once more, and the two men were alone.

The silence was more tense than it was awkward. Although they didn't speak anything to each other yet, there was a stronger sense of resentment in the air than it was when Mark was present. There didn't seem to be a need for words since the two of them knew exactly how the other felt. Still, Elon decided to speak regardless.

"Just friends, huh?"

Although Jeff was entirely expecting those words to come out of Elon's mouth, he cringed at the thought of Elon being the first to witness their true relationship.

"More than friends, obviously," Jeff said as he crossed his arms and stared angrily at his own shoes.

"Then why didn't you say so yesterday?" Elon asked, his voice much colder than it was before.

"Because I didn't feel like exposing that information to a stranger," Jeff replied.

"I am not a stranger," Elon said through gritted teeth, "And the only thing you've done is made Mark doubt himself."

"Mark wouldn't doubt our relationship. I know he's a man with common sense -"

"You know NOTHING about Mark," Elon said, his tone growing dangerous.

"And you do?"

Suddenly, Elon grabbed Jeff by the collar and slammed him against the wall of the elevator. Their eyes met, both filled with a strange kind of fury that neither of them had felt so quickly.

"I know enough to tell you're no good for Mark. You might as well give up now before you hurt him," Elon growled.

"You speak as if you haven't hurt him. I see that look of pain on Mark every time he sees you. What exactly have you done to him?"

The grip Elon had on Jeff's collar loosened for a moment, but Elon was quick to regain his composure.

"What I've done is nothing compared to what you could possibly do. I know that you're hiding something, and I know how foolish it is to trust someone based off of a romantic feeling," Elon said.

"It's more than just a feeling, Elon. And something is telling me that you're jealous of what me and Mark have," Jeff replied with a cocky smile.

"It doesn't matter what it is. But let me tell you something, Mr. Bezos," Elon said, his face growing closer and the hatred in his eyes becoming stronger, "If you hurt Mark in any way, shape, or form, I won't hesitate to rip out your throat, no matter the trouble it may get me in with PR."

Jeff could see Elon's fangs beginning to come out. He even felt his own claws begin to form. It was closer to a wolf fight than he had expected, but he was willing to fight if Elon tried anything. For a second, Jeff felt the primal urge to scratch at Elon's face, but the doors opened once more before he had the chance.

It was their floor.

Finally, Elon let go of Jeff, leaving his collar wrinkled from where he was grabbed. Elon made his way to the door and gave Jeff one last glare.

"Have a good day, Jeff. Try not to bring Mark down with you when you eventually fail, just like your brother did."

And he stepped out of the door, leaving a furious Jeff behind him. That last comment was the one thing that seemed to set Jeff off, and ue was going to transform fully, but he was alone with his rage. So he did the only thing any man knew how to do when his ego got stomped on. Repeatedly punch the elevator door until there was a dent in it and until he cried because his hand hurted as much as his pride did.

All of this resulted in Jeff Bezos being late to the meeting.

♡︎♡︎♡︎

The only thing Mark looked at for a while was Bob Ross' face. Had he always looked so conflicted, or did the paint just smudge somewhere? Or maybe Mark was just projecting his current mindset onto the painting.

After all, Elon now knew about Mark's relationship with Jeff. He knew he should've felt happy. Now, Jeff would have to tell people that they were more than just friends. But why did his heart feel tight at the idea of Elon being the one to find out? He had thought he buried those feelings long ago, but now more and more emotional conflict seemed to arise. Maybe Mark was just too inexperienced.

Suddenly, the door flew open, and Elon marched inside. He looked angry, different from his usual emotionless expression. Mark's heart sank at the sight of him. Of course, he'd be upset, Elon was always overprotective of him. He wanted to explain, but there was no use in it. Elon already knew.

What Mark didn't know was how Elon's expression softened at the sight of Mark. Suddenly, feeling guilty for his outburst that Mark did not happen, he decided to sit next to Rebel Wilson, who was currently eating a gyro in the most undignified manner.

The meeting had begun upon Elon arriving, with the head of the statistics department, Ben Shapiro (everyone always edited dicks onto his photos behind his back), saying a bunch of boring stuff that no one really cared about. Mark was about to doze off when the door slammed open again, jolting him awake. Jeff walked inside, his left hand bruised horribly.

"Let's say, hypothetically, that you arrive on time," Ben Shapiro said while everyone began wishing they stayed at home the moment Ben decided to use the word hypothetically.

"Sorry, I'll make sure to do so next time," Jeff said with a fake smile that was incredibly attractive to Mark.

And then the meeting began.

It was still pretty boring. Mark didn't know what was going on, nor did he really care. After all, he had already planned the future of his department for the next ten years. He wasn't the type to wait until the last minute and preferred to get things done straight away.

He did begin to have some interest in the discussion the moment Jeff decided to join in on it.

"Personally, I believe that we should bring global warming to the height so we can reach a more suitable climate," Jeff said.

"Objection," Elon said, and everyone turned to look at him, "If we do our efforts to prevent global warming, the people will begin to respect our authority more."

Jeff's eye twitched.

"The people won't have a choice but to submit to us. But thank you for input, Mr. Musk," Jeff said with a forced smile that almost looked painful.

"It wasn't just input. It was an entirely different method from your plan, Mr. Bezos. And dare I say a more effective one?" Elon shot back.

"Mark, what did you cause them to fight about?" Rebel Wilson asked (She can speak like a normal person on VERY rare occasions).

"Huh?? I didn't do anything, I swear!" Mark replied, a bit defensively.

"Sure you did. Everyone at the office was betting on how Elon would react to you and Jeff being a couple now. I guess I won that bet."

Mark looked at Rebel Wilson and then at the two men, growing more and more heated while ignoring Ben Shapiro's attempt at mediating the issue.

"How did you know- y'know... That me and Jeff were a thing?" Mark asked nervously.

"Everyone knows, Mark. You two sure didn't try to hide it at the ball. Everyone knew you were going somewhere the moment you walked in."

"Ah, I see. Thank you for telling me haha-"

"Anytime, mate. Now I'm going to go get some popcorn to watch where this fight is going."

And with that, Rebel Wilson walked off, redirecting Mark's attention to the ongoing argument.

"Listen, Jeff, if you're going to force the people to do what you want, you might as well be asking for us to be overthrown," Elon said through gritted teeth.

"The people need some force in their lives. They've been given too much freedom. As a former general of the PETA war, I would expect you not to cower away from the threat of a few civilians."

"Don't you DARE undermine the abilities of my troops," Elon growled.

"I'm not questioning the abilities of your troop, only your abilities," Jeff replied.

Suddenly, Elon began to growl. His claws emerged, and Jeff began to bear his fangs. The two were about to turn into their wolf forms. Just as Jeff was about to bite, the door slammed open.

"STOP THIS MEETING, " Boots, the queen's advisor, shouted.

"I mean, it really wasn’t going anywhere important, but sure. Meeting paused," Ben Shapiro said, obviously giving up on stopping the fight.

"What is it?" Someone asked.

Boots looked mortified, his monkey face riddled with worry.

"The queen... She has fallen ill," Boots finally choked out.

Everyone let out a collective gasp.

"Our queen is ill?! What sickness does she have, Boots? Quick tell us!" Ben Shapiro exclaimed.

"It is the ligma virus."

The room went silent.

"No, it can't be-"

"Queen Dora has 4 days left to live."