Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

SUNDAY, APRIL 2ND 2023 — 8:30 AM.

“The good news for today is that the weather should be pretty decent.” The forecaster reveals in a peppy tone, and Makoto smiles as he listens to the news anchor and his mother go on about two very different things. “The high for the next three days is twenty-one degrees and a low of eleven. Pretty good if you ask me, Hana!”

“So true, Aoi! Such lovely weather. I think I might even see about-”

“Makoto!”

The young man is abruptly snapped out of his daze by the sound of his mother almost yelling at him through the phone — something she only ever did when she happened to be frustrated or stressed. “Sorry, Mom! I got lost in thought! What were you saying?” He apologizes, swapping the phone from his right to the left ear, where he holds it with his shoulder. His hands were busy folding clothes and carefully tucking them into his brand-new hiking backpack, green with brown accents, one of Makoto’s favorite color combinations. While he had initially wanted to decorate it with little trinkets from his friends, an inner voice told him that he should not do that.

“Makoto, darling, this is why I’m afraid for you to go off hiking like this. Sometimes you get so distracted that I worry you will wander off. What if you get lost?”

“Mom, please, I was just listening to the news and you at the same time. I promise I will be fine!”

“You say that, but I remember when you cried when Haruka got the flu as a boy, and you had to go a week alone at school.”

Makoto groans, covering his face. “Mom, I was six years old then. I’ve grown so much since. I’m not that little kid anymore.”

“I know, but can’t you pretend? For me? You’ve never even been hiking alone! The most we ever did as a family was less than three kilometers into the forest!”

“I won’t be alone; I’ll be with Chris and David. Plus, I will have access to my phone, maps, and even this neat device they have that will connect to a satellite! How cool is that?” He tries, animatedly speaking with his hands as if his mother can see.

She is silent momentarily, clearly unenthused by it. “Who are Chris and David?”

“They’re Rin’s friends from Australia. You met them at Haru’s art show in our last year at Iwatobi. Remember them? They flirted with you.”

Makoto can almost feel the heat of his mother’s blush through the phone. Is it slightly manipulative of him to bring that up like some weapon? Yeah definitely — he learned it from Kisumi.

More silence before she finally spoke again, sighing. “Makoto, I just… what if something happens? Please consider the dangers.”

“We have, Mom. Chris is in charge of protection just in case things go sideways, David is bring maps and stuff, and I’m bringing first aid. I promise we’ll be just fine.” Makoto zips his backpack, finally packed. The news anchors are still chatting about the weather. “They’re highly experienced hikers and a few years older than me, so I’m going to be well taken care of. I’m also in the best shape of my life. Please don’t worry!”

His mother sighs again, even more deeply than before, if such a thing were even possible. “If you’re so set on this, I should support you. Please make sure you’re back on Monday for class, alright? You should start on a good leg after spring break.”

“I promise to. We’ll be leaving tomorrow morning, and then we’ll be gone until the sixth. We’ll be back in Tokyo by the seventh, plenty of time to come down for the day to see you all and then come back home before classes on Monday.” He assures her, and seemingly she has given up because she hums softly, and he can hear her chopping vegetables once more on her cutting board.

“So,” She starts, and Makoto internalizes his sigh as he sets the backpack next to his bedroom door. “Have you spoken with Haruka?” She starts, and Makoto returns with a hum of his own. ‘Not this again.’ Makoto thinks to himself.

“I have. Haru doesn’t like it either. His parents begged him to stay in Tokyo to visit while I’ll be gone. They’re still working on everything in… therapy.” Makoto almost doesn’t want to say it — not because it is anything to be ashamed of but because it feels wrong to talk about the family therapist Haru and his parents have been seeing without him knowing. He’s so proud of Haru that his chest feels full of it. “He doesn’t want me to go, but he’s also respecting my need to get out and experience some nature with new people.”

Haru is absolutely not respecting it, but he isn’t making that her knowledge.

The chopping noises stop. “Makoto… while I am thoroughly pleased Chinatsu and Akinari are taking this seriously and owning up to their faults as Haru’s parents, as they should, you know that isn’t what I’m talking about.”

Makoto sighs out loud this time. “I know. Mom, I just feel it isn’t the right time.”

“It never is, but you must speak your truth, son. You love him and don’t even bother telling me you don’t know if he feels the same. I’ve known that boy since he was just a twinkle in his father’s eye — he’s been in love with you since before either of you even knew what love meant.”

“Mom please.” He’s stressed now. And he falls back against the bed with a thud, swapping the phone to the other ear now. “Maybe so, but… what if it all falls apart? Our friends? Each other? What if they all don’t like it?”

“Baby, your friends make Elton John look like a straight man, what would they not like?”

“Mother!” Makoto wheezes in horror.

“Why are you so affronted? I’m speaking the truth. They’re fabulously not straight, and I love my bonus sons and daughters very dearly.”

“Somehow, that feels worse.”

“To you. The point is that nothing will change. If anything, your friends will be happy that you two will finally be together instead of making angsty eyes at each other across the room every single day.”

“We do not-”

“Just friends don’t look at each other that way, sweetie. I know, trust me.”

“How do you even-”

“Know? My sweet boy. I know everything about you. What you think, everything you feel, without you even telling me. Same for Haruka — that’s what a good mother does — she’ll know you, body and soul, and love you no matter what she sees. You love him; he loves you. Stop torturing yourself and tell him before you wake up one day and realize you’ve wasted too much time.”

“I just need time.”

With all the love and patience in the world, Sakura Tachibana chuckles and begins chopping her vegetables again. “I understand. Just don’t wait too long, or I may be forced to work my own magic.” Another break of silence. “Something I feel I should say before I drop it… other people may not be approaching Haru now, mostly because at first glance it’s obvious he’s committed to something, but trust me, please, other people, other men, see Haru and trust they fall head over heels for him too. If you keep waiting, someone else may make a move.”

Makoto groans and sits up.

“I just want you both to be happy. So does your father — and your brother and sister.”

“I know, Mom.” This conversation has exhausted Makoto. His mother is right, of course, she always is, but Makoto is just afraid. Actually, he’s terrified. He does love Haru; in fact, he loves nothing more than the raven-haired boy, but Makoto can never bring himself to say it. Even knowing that others absolutely fall for Haru at first sight, like Rin had before he and Seijuro got together. Aside from being rejected or replaced, Makoto’s greatest fear is someone moving in on Haru and the other boy getting so fed up with Makoto dragging his feet that he just moves on.

And, of course, Makoto knows all their friends can tell.

“I’ll drop it for now, but trust we will discuss this again if I have to go another month without my future son-in-law on your arm.”

Makoto is blushing bright red now; he is putting the Mikoshibas and Shiinas to shame with how red he is in comparison to their hair. “Okay then, well I’m going to go because I have to clean the kitchen and do laundry before I leave tomorrow. I love you — tell the twins and Dad I’ll see them Saturday, please.”

His mom laughs and promises to do as requested, and he hangs up just as she starts making obnoxious kissing noises. Makoto falls back against the bed, half tempted to throw the phone but deciding against it. He lays there staring at the ceiling fan blowing cool air, and Makoto is suddenly aware that he is sweating — certainly a reaction from his nerves brought on by his nosy but loving mother.

Makoto strips his shirt off, doing the same with his pants. He lives alone and isn’t worried about walking around half-naked while cleaning. Just as he turns to leave his bedroom, he is acutely aware of the television once more.

“We now turn to Chinatsu Nanase. She is on the ground as we speak just outside of the Takao Police Station with breaking news. Chinatsu, what’s going on?”

The screen splits in two as Haru’s mother appears, microphone in hand. Haru’s mother is a well-known and respected reporter and journalist known worldwide for her work. She looks beautiful as ever, and while most people who do not know her would think she is looking excellent and put together, Makoto can tell she is immensely stressed and barely holding back tears. His interest is piqued not just because this looks important or because this is Haru’s mother on his television, but because Makoto and the others are going to camp in the Mount Takao forest tomorrow.

“Thank you. If you look behind me, you will see that the Takao police station is hitting the ground running this morning. It seems that beloved polar bear Joar of the Ueno Zoo in Tokyo has escaped confinement while in transport from the Zoo to a facility out in the countryside.”

The other news anchors look disturbed, to say the least. “Chinatsu, how could this happen?”

“Yes, Hana, truly shocking. His caretakers may not have given him the proper dosage of tranquilizers. Details are, unfortunately, sparse at the moment, but what I can tell you is that Joar has become increasingly more irritable and withdrawn since the death of his mate Osha less than two months ago. Their relationship was unprecedented for polar bears, as they are not monogamous creatures by nature, but the two had an extraordinary relationship, if you will, that lasted twenty years!” Chinatsu provides. “Since her death, Joar has barely eaten, has shown extreme aggression to anyone, and even brutalized the younger bear brought in to comfort him. She did not survive the attack.”

The others seem just as horrified as Makoto, who sits on the edge of the bed with his arms crossed.

“Do you have any details you could provide about his escape besides his unfortunate lesser dosage?”

“Yes. Unfortunately, when he broke free of his restraints, Joar mauled two people, including his keeper, who had raised him since birth. Neither survived the attack and were already deceased when rescuers came. The other four in the truck were seriously injured but were alive when they were airlifted to the University of Tokyo Hospital. We do not know their status and will keep the public updated. We will provide information about their identities after their families are privately informed.”

Makoto covers his mouth in horror, eyes swimming with tears. How could an animal do such a thing? Sure, at the end of the day, the poor creature was unwell and was naturally a wild animal whether somebody raised him in captivity or not, but this seemed almost too much.

Chinatsu seems to hesitate before continuing. “We can also inform you that several citizens were harmed as Joar escaped, including one man dragged away alive. While the others received only minor injuries, the status of the man taken is currently unknown. We advise caution to anyone in the area — Joar has taken two lives that we can currently confirm, and many have been harmed. Do not approach him by any means. While he is older in age, he is extremely dangerous and very confused. It is advised to stay indoors, in numbers if possible, and not enter the Takao Forest. While Joar has, we can confirm, gone into the mountains, the presence of a more dangerous predator can disrupt the ecosystem and drive out the weaker ones as they seek safety. Please, use caution at this time as the proper authorities handle this, and we will keep you updated as information comes through.”

The other anchors advise that at the next commercial break, an instructor will broadcast the best ways to handle oneself when crossing a bear. Makoto, stunned, turns off the television. Just as he does, his phone rings. Haru.

Of course, he answers.

“Hey Haru, I-”

“You are not going tomorrow.”

“Haru, please just let me-”

“Have you seen the news? There’s a killer polar bear exactly where you’re going. Absolutely not.”

“Well, not exactly. Your mom said he’s in the mountains. We’re barely going into the forest. Enough to feel like Lara Croft without any real risk.”

“It isn’t a normal hike, Makoto. You heard my mom — the other animals won’t be acting normally. The bear could even be moving down into the forest as we speak. No.”

“Haru just-”

“No.”

“Haru.” Makoto whines pitifully.

“No. I will tie you to your bed if you try to go.”

Makoto flushes, but for an entirely different reason this time. He would ne lying if he said blood hadn’t started flowing down south at the images flying to his mind. “Haru, please just breathe for me. We’ll be okay, I promise.”

“Okay. Well then, I’m going too.”

“Haru, no.”

“Haru, yes.”

“Haru, come on.” Makoto’s phone vibrates, and he can see it’s the group chat with Chris and David. “You guys see the news? Yikes on a stick, that one.” Chris sends, and David confirms he has. Makoto responds in the affirmative that he also has seen it. The other two say that they still want to go, that Chris actually has a rifle that could put an African elephant on its ass. They ask Makoto what he feels like doing but let him know they would not blame him if he didn’t want to go anymore, given the circumstances.

“Makoto.”

“Haru, listen.”

“No. Please no. Just stay.”

Makoto’s heart skips a beat suddenly, and he’s acutely aware of the near tears in Haru’s voice. Haru never does this. It breaks something tiny in Makoto because he can’t stand the idea of ever hurting Haru.

Makoto sighs but then comes to a realization. He can have both — he can calm Haru down and get his approval, but also still go.

“What about this? I drop them off, but I stay in town while they camp. I can have a little vacation in a nice hotel, and Chris and David don’t have their vacation ruined. Deal?”

Haru doesn’t say anything for a long time, sitting in silence as he contemplates. Makoto bites his lip, waiting.

“Fine. But you have to swear, just the hotel.”

Makoto wants to cry. He has never broken a promise to anyone before, especially not Haru. Never Haru. “Deal. I swear.”

Haru sighs and makes that tch sound he makes when he hates something. “I don’t like Chris and David.”

“Why? They’re really nice, and they like you!”

“They’re both stupid. Ikuya agrees.”

“Haru! That’s so mean!”

“It’s true. They come around, get you and Rin and the others into trouble, and then go back to Australia like they’re superheroes.”

“Come on, Haruuu,” Makoto draws, and he can tell Haru is pouting. “Don't pout. I’ll be back soon. You won’t even be able to tell I’m gone.”

“Not pouting.”

“Are too. I can tell. Bet you’re in the bath, and you’re pouting big time.”

Makoto hears water slosh and barely contains his giggle.

“The Makoto never listens to The Haru.”

“The Makoto always listens to The Haru. Always. The Makoto just needs to get out of Tokyo for a few days before spring break ends. Then The Makoto will never ever stress The Haru out ever again. He promises.”

Makoto feels like he can almost feel Haru smiling through the phone. His special Makoto smile that is just for Makoto. The work is almost done.

“I promise I’ll be back soon. Then we can watch that anime on Sunday that Nagisa and Asahi told us about, just us. Isn’t it called like… Buffery or something?”

“Bofuri.”

“Right, right.”

“Makoto.”

“Yes, The Haru?”

“Please come back to me.”

“Always.”

Makoto replies to the guys: “I’m in.” They both respond with matching cheering gifs and a chorus of “Broooooo!” in all caps.

——————

MONDAY, APRIL 3RD 2023 — 6:00 AM.

The following day Chris picks him up, and David screeches his name so loudly he is sure his family in Iwatobi can hear it. He had spent all night swearing to his mother that he was just staying home until Saturday after seeing the news — the people that had been saved all passed away, and half of the man taken was eventually found in the forest. The other half was not found and at present no one had found Joar the polar bear.

“Shhh! Do you want my mom to teleport here and kill all three of us?”

“Please! I’ve been dying to see her again!” Chris pleads, and David smacks the back of his blonde head pretty hard. “Dude, no. She’s a happily married woman and our bro’s mom. Be better.”

“You’re right. I apologize, Mako.”

Makoto laughs and gets in. “Don’t worry about it. I think it makes her feel young again.”

The next forty minutes are spent listening to too loud Australian music and the two older men talking about surfing on the back of great white sharks.

“No, bro, I’m telling you! Chris had his hand on that monster's dorsal and was holding on for dear life! The cuts from the scales took weeks to heal!”

Chris looks proud of himself, and Makoto feels sick to his stomach at the thought but also super impressed. “That’s incredible. I bet it was huge!”

“Oh yeah! She was bigger than the boat in length and width, easily could have dragged us to the ocean floor, and killed us all if she wanted. She just wanted to see what we were about. She even deposited Chris back beside the boat carefully when she’d had enough and disappeared under the water without a problem. An absolute beauty!”

Makoto gasps, imagining the sheer size of it. He then remembers something from his childhood fondly. “I remember when we were fourteen, Haru was swimming in the ocean. Sharks are rarely seen in Iwatobi, but a great white was that day. Haru and it swam around each other in circles for a good thirty minutes before it swam off. They were dancing, I swear it. Of course, I was too scared to do anything, but to this day, I’m glad I didn’t. I think they respected each other.”

“That’s the thing! These creatures — as long as you respect them, really respect them, they’ll let you be most of the time! They just want to be at peace themselves!”

Makoto really did like the two guys. They were profound when you got to know them, and found himself pleased that he had the opportunity to experience this with them.

Not long after, when they were passing through town, they found the area of the attack. It was taped off, but traffic was allowed to pass by carefully as directed by police officers and volunteers in orange reflective vests. The pavement was still dark with spilled blood, and Makoto shivered at the sight of it. The mood in the car soured for a while until they eventually reached their destination.

“We’re here! Take it in, boys!”

Chris opened his arms to the beautiful scenery of Takao Forest. The forest was alive with the sounds of the birds and insects. Not a danger in sight — it was almost hard for Makoto to look at this place and think that just twenty minutes away, something so horrible had taken place. That people had died awfully just trying to do their jobs. But then the memory of that blood-stained pavement came running back to Makoto full force, making him nauseous once more.

“Hey guys… real quick… I may have told everyone I stayed in town while you guys went hiking. Please just… you know?”

“Of course. Haru need never know about our boys-only trip.”

Makoto blushes. Even they knew. He felt embarrassed until David clapped him on the back with enough force that even Makoto’s large and muscular frame was jostled by it.

“Don’t worry, bro. We’re cool — not like those assholes who think two men kissing is the worst thing happening. We got your back, bro.” David says, and Chris wraps an arm around his shoulders. “Can’t imagine being the type to judge someone’s heart.” Makoto feels he could cry. Chris continues, “Haru is quite the catch, though, if I say so myself. You better get up on that before someone else does.”

Had they been talking to his mother?

Makoto is so stuck between surprise and happiness at their acceptance of him, without even having to say anything, that he just looks like a fish with his mouth open. Both guys laugh and ruffle his hair.

Just as they set off, Makoto’s phone vibrates. Haru.

“Are you doing okay?”

“Yes! :3 I just made it to the hotel. It’s really nice; thanks for the rec! Are you okay?”

“The Haru is worried.”

“Nooo The Haru must not be worried. The Makoto is okay; just going to relax in bed and eat food. The Makoto misses The Haru, though.”

“The Haru misses his Makoto too.”

His. Makoto’s heart physically aches. He wants to come out with it now but instead says: “His Makoto will be home sooon. Until then, The Makoto is going to take a nap. Text soon?”

“Yes. Sleep well.”

“Goodnight, Haruka. <3”

As they all make chit-chat, Makoto swears he feels eyes on him, but every time he looks around, he can’t see anything but trees and greenery.

——————

THURSDAY, APRIL 6TH 2023 — 12:00 AM.

This week has been one of the best that Makoto has had in a long time. Chris and David are fantastic guides, and the entire time, they manage to keep Makoto between them at all times so that, as he is inexperienced with outdoor adventures of this magnitude, he doesn’t get lost or hurt. They’re gentle, patient with him, and don’t make fun when he needs a break. He’s in great shape, amazing actually for someone who doesn’t have to be like how he did when he was a competitive swimmer, but even still, he does need more breaks than they do.

The entire week they don’t notice anything out of the ordinary. No bears or other animals are fleeing a crazed, homicidal polar bear, but Makoto can never kick the feeling that something is watching him. It’s honestly unsettling, and when he tells the others on the second day, they share an equally unsettled glance but assure him that they have Chris’s badass gun and won’t let anything happen to him.

“Can you imagine what Haru would do to us if Makoto got hurt?” David asks Chris jokingly.

“Oh shit, yeah. I’d rather fight the bear. Unarmed.”

“Same. With both hands behind my back.”

And Makoto can tell they’re both deathly serious, that they’d rather face the bear’s inhumanity than Haru’s wrath. Makoto doesn’t blame them at all.

Despite the unshakeable feeling of being seen at a level he doesn’t wish for, Makoto enjoys himself. He keeps in contact with Haru and the others pretty often, and Makoto never loses reception, surprisingly. He is eternally grateful as he cannot imagine having to find an excuse for that.

He still feels immense guilt for lying to them all, though.

By the last day, though, he is ready to leave. Not that he hates it here, but because he misses Haru. He wants to see the other man and finally confess his love. Something in the forest has given Makoto the courage to speak his truth, and maybe it has something to do with the unreserved kindness of Chris and David, the way they don’t even hesitate to give their support to him even though they don’t know him half as well as Rin.

Thursday evening, they’re sitting around a fire, roasting marshmallows and talking about how angsty Rin is when they hear the strangest noise — a howl. It sends ice down his spine, makes his breath catch. It sounds… not right. They stop talking at once, and both men look to Makoto after looking at each other with sharp eyes. “Mako, are there wolves in Japan?”

“Not wild ones. Ones in captivity, in zoos? Yes. But not in the wild. Not since, like, maybe the early twentieth century.”

The other two make soft noises of consideration, and Chris lays his rifle across his lap. Makoto gulps, staring at it.

“Just to be safe.” Chris assures, and the safety clicks off, and his careful eyes watch the trees as if he had done this before. He probably had with David and maybe even Rin right by his side.

“Have you ever…?” Makoto waves a hand, and Chris nods.

“Not willingly; I detest the idea of hurting any animal. But I won’t let anything hurt you or David just because I like animals, either.” And Makoto is touched by his words.

“You know, I’ve read the forest has a way of distorting noises. A monkey can sound like a canine under the right conditions.” Makoto’s words seem to lighten the mood by a fraction, but for the next few minutes, all three are solemn and silent as church mice. Eventually, Chris advises they douse the fire and head to bed.

“It isn’t safe to travel at night, even on a trail. We’ll rest now, but come first light; we’re leaving with or without the tent. We’re a good thirty minutes from the car, so if we book it, we’ll get out in less than that, no harm, no foul.” Chris says softly as he zips their tent with careful hands, which is hidden behind a set of trees. At first, Makoto thought David put the tent here because it gave them a perfect view of the lake they were settled at, but the younger male was increasingly becoming aware it was strategic. It protected their backs with the thick trunks and bushes. Anything coming at them would have to come from the lake.

“Chris… are you sure we’re not overreacting a bit? I mean, it could just be-“

“Makoto, listen to me. I’m not trying to scare you, but that was not a monkey or a stray dog. It just wasn’t. Whatever it was, it wasn’t as far away as it sounded.” A big hand holds Makoto’s as if trying to keep his attention. David is just as serious, and he is furiously typing a number into his satellite phone. He is now talking to someone, and Makoto thinks it may be the police because he is giving coordinates, explaining their suddenly dire situation.

Chris grabs a large hunting knife from his backpack, strapping it to Makoto’s thigh before he can argue. “I’m not handing you a gun because I know you’ve never so much as held one; you’re more likely to kill yourself with it by accident. If something gets you down, go for the throat or the face with extreme prejudice.”

Makoto is so close to hyperventilating because he knows this isn’t a joke. It isn’t an elaborate “Gotcha!” set up by his friends. Nagisa and Asahi aren’t going to come running out of the trees, and someone in a cool bear costume made my Kisumi wasn’t going to come out of hiding. This was real and his friends were staying calm for him.

As Makoto watches Chris hand David two handguns, he nearly starts full on panicking, but something much stronger within himself says “Do that if you want to die. Otherwise, contain it.”

How could this be happening? The first time he ever does something reckless, and his life is now in danger for it? It’s so cosmically unfair.

Instead of having a full mental breakdown, Makoto asks incredulously, “Where did you even get those? Did you bring them to Japan?” At that, Chris smirks.

“I know a guy. He and my dad go way back.”

Makoto can not believe this.

“What? Did you think we would bring you out here without a way of protecting ourselves?”

“I just thought you meant, like, bear spray… how? Why? Are you secretly John Wick or something?”

Chris makes one final attempt at a joke. “My dad’s American. Only my mom’s Australian.” As if that explains it all. And honestly? To Makoto, it really does.

They advise Makoto to rest, and while it takes him a while, he does.

It’s only a thirty-minute nap before the entirety of hell bottoms out on their otherwise charming little campsite. Makoto jerks awake to the sounds of screaming and gunfire. The tent is zipped up, and from inside, he can tell it has been carefully covered with various debris. They’re trying to hide me. Makoto thinks to himself.

He rips open the tent, pushing away leaves and branches, and nearly screams in horror. David is on the ground, bleeding profusely, unloading both handguns into a massive white-furred monstrosity, roaring furiously while Chris gives the beast hell with his rifle. Makoto’s brain cannot comprehend what he sees; he just sees snow white tainted red with what can surely only be blood. And is that an axe in its back?

The bear. Joar had come down from the mountain for them.

Both men are a bloody mess, but they’re fighting for their lives like soldiers in a war, fighting to protect their useless, defenseless friend. Of course, Makoto had been in a fight before, but a fight with Haru’s elementary school bully could not match up with this.

“Makoto! Run, Makoto! Take the trail! Run, my friend!” Keys hit his feet, and he understands just as he hears jaws bite into David. The screams, Makoto is sobbing already, but David isn’t going down without a fight. A gun is reloaded, and David resumes firing.

The bullets are slowing it, but Makoto has just enough of his mind he can tell that it won’t drop dead at any moment because of the damage received.

“Run! Tell them we fought!”

Chris pushes him out of the way, because the creature has now turned its cruelty and malice in his direction finally.

Makoto runs, runs, runs.

He’s terrified, so scared out of his mind, he cannot even think straight. He wants to go home, wants to go back to Iwatobi and crawl into Haru’s bed and be with the boy he loves. He wants to tell Haru he loves him, kiss his pretty face, and forget the world.

Somehow, Makoto turns a thirty-minute hike into maybe a ten-minute run. He is barely able to catch his breath when he jumps into the car, barely breathing when he fumbles with the keys.

And then he feels vibrations. It makes him squeal like a deflated rubber duck in panic, but he realizes it happens to be his phone.

Haru.

He answers it, sobbing, panicking so severely that he can’t even think. “Makoto, where are you!? Makoto, what is going on!?”

He sobs because he dropped the keys on the floorboard and can’t find them where he’s panic-grabbing.

“Ha-Ha-Haru! Help me!”

“Makoto, breathe. Baby, tell me what’s wrong!” His mother. Jesus fucking Christ, Haru must be at the Tachibana residence.

“M-Mommy! Mommy help! Help me, please! We went to the forest! It’s here! I’m so-sorry! They're gone! Oh God, they’re gone! I don’t want to- Please, please, please!” He’s so fucking scared he’s seven years old and clinging to Haru’s shirt again, too afraid of the dark to sleep alone, calling her Mommy and begging for one last forehead kiss goodnight. His heart pounds in his chest. He can hear his mom screaming at his father to call the police to get them to Takao Forest immediately, for Nagisa and Rei to get Ran and Ren to their rooms and lock the door.

Fuck! They’re there too!?

“Baby, listen! Baby, I’m here; listen to me!” She is sobbing too, and if he listens carefully, he can hear Haru screaming and can hear Rin and Sousuke too, struggling with Haru. They’re holding him back.

“Got them!” He whispers in pyrrhic victory, because it doesn’t matter now. When he looks up, he sees ice-blue eyes in the driver's window. Cold, calculating. Intelligent.

Makoto screams as it tears the flimsy door off without effort. A paw wraps around his ankle, and Makoto fears his vocal cords may rupture with how he shrieks. His finger hits the speaker button by accident, and he can hear chaos break out as they —  his friends, his family, and his Haru scream and cry for him.

“Makoto! Baby, what is it? Baby, answer me right now!” His mother.

“Makoto!” The separate voices of his distressed friends, his father who is surely tearing his hair out listening and powerless to save his son.

“No, no, no! Please, no!” Makoto pleads, grabbing the door frame as if to hold on.

“Makoto!” Haru, insane with grief and helplessness.

And then, he is being dragged away from the car.

Makoto is forced onto his back with a furry paw, and he stares up at the beast with his green eyes, blood dripping from bullet wounds onto him. Suddenly he isn’t scared anymore. Makoto is angry. Furious.

Rage fills Makoto, white-hot like he has never felt before. His friends died fighting for themselves and him to get them all home. Everyone he loved was about to hear him die, eaten alive like he was nothing more than an animal. Even now, he can hear that his mother has fainted, and Haru is screaming his name repeatedly.

And for the first time in his short life, Makoto Tachibana feels real hatred. He had just wanted to have fun before life picked up again. With Chris and David, who had been torn to pieces in an attempt to stop this monster.

Sweat-soaked hands grabbed the hunting knife from its sheath and began stabbing, as Chris instructed, with extreme prejudice. The animal howls in agony, knife slicing its throat and face. Makoto is drenched in its blood now, but he does not stop. If he's going to be eaten alive, he’s going to make this asshole choke on his bones. He screams in rage, and he swears it surprises the beast because it stops for a moment.

Makoto isn’t stopping, though. He stabs everywhere he can until the blade snaps off into it somewhere. And then he’s just hitting it with the hilt repeatedly, the tiny sliver of the blade still doing minimal damage.

He’s undoubtedly losing his mind because his half-gone mind can make out some guttural version of a chuckle. Something so animalistic but human too.

This hellish creature is amused by him. Is playing with him.

Then there’s pain because one paw has forced his head to the side, and powerful jaws bite the junction between neck and shoulder. And just as Makoto begins to pass out, he sees the creature walk away in the light of a full moon. On two hind legs.

And then, darkness.

Chapter Text

FRIDAY, APRIL 7TH, 2023 — 5:00 AM.

When the authorities arrived near daybreak, Mount Takao Forest was a bloody mess. The remains of various animals littered the forest floor, half eaten and torn to ribbons. The beast that had massacred the poor creatures had done so without mercy or restraint, ate its fill and moved on. They found Makoto first, wounded and filthy from his struggle to survive and also unconscious. From there, the group split into two forces. One stayed behind to care for and stabilize Makoto, while the second group traveled deeper and carefully into the forest to search for the Chris and David.

What they encountered at the ruined campsite by the lake sent several medics to their knees, heaving in disgust. What remained of Chris and David was scattered across the clearing. Bits of flesh here, pools of coagulated blood there, and gun shells littered the ground. It was clear they had emptied everything they had into Joar, and bits of white fur on the ground made a clear picture of the hopeless fight for their lives when that failed.

Samples were taken, and within the day, the Mount Takao Forest and surrounding areas were closed to the public entirely and indefinitely.

——————

FRIDAY, APRIL 7TH, 2023 — 7:45 AM.

Haru is a mess. No, he’s worse than a mess; he is losing his fucking mind.

His eyes and throat are raw from screaming and crying, arms bruised from the force of Sousuke’s grip when he had held Haru back. Of course, Haru had fought him, but it was pointless — Sousuke was a pillar of a man and would not be moved by someone so much smaller than him. He hadn’t been unkind to Haru; in fact, their relationship had improved over the past few years and especially since Kisumi had all but claimed him in his Kisumi-way. Rin had held him from behind, and if Haru tried hard to remember anything past the blood-curdling terror in Makoto’s voice, his desperate pleading for help, he could remember Rin’s sobbing in his ear as he held Haru.

Oh Gods, Makoto’s desperation.

Haru all but slams his head against his window to try and get the sound out of his head, has already pulled at his hair and nearly ripped it all out until Kisumi held his hands in a vice grip to make him stop. Makoto wasn’t the bravest person in their friend group in the face of horror, but he had never been so scared in Haru’s nearly twenty years of knowing him. It wasn’t just fear because Haru had seen and heard Makoto afraid before. Haru can remember all the times Makoto held his shirt for comfort while they slept beside each other as little kids or how in high school, he had been scared of the ruins of Iwatobi Swim Club before it had been remodeled under Coach Sasabe’s leadership. Makoto was afraid of the idea of ghosts, jump scares in movies and of rodents. He still sometimes had nightmares about The Boogeyman, and every night since they had moved to Tokyo for university Haru would happily stay on the phone with Makoto as he turned off all the lights in his apartment at night, running to his bedroom as if something in the darkness was chasing him. It never failed to make Haru smile, imagining his massive friend running to the safety of his blanket and pillow fort combination to hide from the dark at twenty years old.

What Haru had experienced hours ago on the phone with Makoto was not fear. Something had hunted Makoto, something real and horrifying and not made of shadows that had Makoto out of his mind in some primal, ancient way that humans could only access when faced with genuine malice and evil. Haru had been powerless to help the boy he loved. He had been forced to listen to his hysterical pleading for help, but could not save him as something right out of a nightmare took place more than four-hundred miles from the safety of Haru’s arms.

Even now, Haru could remember the sound of metal tearing, Makoto’s renewed fight for his short life, and the sound of a knife viciously stabbing over and over into flesh. If he searched his mind even harder, hard enough his eyes nearly popped right out of their sockets from the effort, he could remember something worse than all of that.

Laughter.

Even now, his blood grows even colder, like ice, and his hair stands on end at the memory of that guttural, twisted sound. It had been loud enough that the room went silent hearing it; everyone frozen in place. Whatever it was, bear or not, the thing had laughed at Makoto. Haru couldn’t explain the wrongness of it but he certainly wasn’t alone in that, could see it in the stunned face of Makoto’s father as he held his unconscious wife, in Sousuke and Rin’s eyes, and even Kisumi, who had backed himself in a corner with his hands over his mouth in horror.

It laughed at his futile attempts to survive. Not like a person, but like something pretending to be. It laughed because it had been amusing that Makoto was terrified. It played over and over in his head like a broken record.

And Haru just… Couldn’t. Make. It. Stop.

By the time the plane landed and their small group had made their way to the line of rental vehicles parked outside of the airport, Haru had picked his fingers until they bled and had moved up to the back of his hands. It was a nervous habit. And the raven-haired boy had no nerves left. No one noticed, thankfully, as he piled in behind the Tachibanas. He had yet to leave their side, refusing even as he heard Rin call to him.

Haru would not risk any further separation. He would be among the first to get to the hospital. He would be with Makoto again. He dared anyone to stop him. The ride to St. Luke’s International Hospital was frustratingly slow. Traffic was terrible today despite it being so early, though the rush hour wasn't until more than an hour later. Because of this, the typically twenty-minute drive became nearly an hour, and Haru was bristled up like a furious black cat. He was screaming at people mentally to get the fuck out of his way, screaming at the driver to quit being a fuckimg coward and do his job, at Mr. Tachibana on the phone with doctors who confirmed Makoto was alive but in critical condition, even at Mrs. Tachibana where she consoled her youngest children on her phone because they had been forced to stay behind with Ms. Amakata.

He was screaming at everyone and no one because not even a tiny squeak could escape his lungs.

He hated everyone standing in his way of being at Makoto’s side. Could they not see that Makoto needed him? That Haru needed Makoto? Was this his penance for not speaking his feelings sooner? That now he could lose the boy he loved, his best friend, any moment?

They finally arrived, and Haru felt a horrible stinging at his throat where he flung him out of the seat, the seat belt breaking. He can hear people yelling his name, but the burst of speed makes wind whoosh in his ears which carries away all other sounds.

Haru runs, runs so fast that he feels he’s flying. Space seemingly moves out of his way and bends to his very will — one minute, he’s at the bottom of stairs just off the street, and the next, he’s at the front desk. Nurses gasp in shock at his sudden appearance, eyes wide as this crazed boy materializes in front of them.

“Makoto! Makoto Tachibana! I want to see Makoto Tachibana! Now!”

The words are forced out, the demand to be delivered expeditiously to Makoto clear in his tone. The nurses are surprised, eyes wide as they take in his crazed appearance. He looks absolutely feral right now and feels every bit of it, like an animal that will soon start its own parade of chaos in this very room any second if he is denied what he wants. Heavy footfalls can be heard behind him, and Haru turns on his heel to face them, expecting security guards but instead seeing a shock of red hair and teal — Asahi and Ikuya. Who called them?

“Haru… Haru, you need to calm down-” It’s a terrible mistake Ikuya makes because Haru loses it. He flings his arm across the counter, and things he cannot place right now hit the floor.

“Don’t tell me what to do! I want to see him! Now! Take me to him!” He screams venomously, and suddenly he is aware of more people because bystanders cry out in shock at the outburst. Ikuya’s eyes widen, and suddenly Asahi has big arms around him and is lifting him like he weighs nothing. He screams to be let go, to take him to Makoto that he wants Makoto, but even as he hits Asahi with flailing limbs and clawing fingers, kicking shins and even groin, it makes no difference because Asahi doesn’t let him go no matter the pain or trouble he puts the redhead through. He carries Haru to a place in the far back as he sobs uncontrollably, leaving Ikuya to do damage control with the nurses, who are suddenly very empathetic instead of on the verge of calling for security.

“Shhh, it’s okay. Asahi’s got ya; I’m right here.” He holds Haru to his chest, rocking his friend as he rubs his back. Haru screams his grief, still struggling in Asahi’s hold, suddenly remembering the faces of Chris and David — they had always been so kind to him, and Haru had just repaid that with thinly veiled disdain.

He was just as monstrous, maybe even worse because at least the monster that had hurt Makoto likely looked like one — Haru just looked like a person.

Time passes. He watches mournfully as the items he had thrown in his grief are picked up and how the Tachibanas are immediately taken down a hallway through a door. Haru jerks to go, but Asahi and his other friends hold him back. “No,” Sousuke says, where he has taken over the Keep Haru Under Control watch and had him thoroughly locked in arms much stronger than Asahi’s. And it’s him that does this because he’s the only one who can tell Haru no, the only one with the heart to do it. “Not yet. You have to let them work on him, okay?”

“B-But he needs me.”

“He’s always gonna need you. But right now, he needs you to let someone care for your wounds and eat something.”

Haru, and the others, are now aware of his bleeding hands and seat-belt burned neck.

“Haru! What did you do, what happened!? Nurse! Nurse, we need-” Rin is shouting now too, and Haru winces when he sees orange scrubs moving to them quickly.

“Stop; I’m fine.”

“Like hell!”

“Is everything okay here? We heard someone calling for help.” A voice radiating comfort reaches Haru’s ears, and he looks up to see one of the nurses that had been at the front desk during his rampage. Her skin is a warm, earthy tone that reminds Haru of being in his grandmother’s garden at sunset before she passed. Her curls are in a loose bun atop her head, and her name badge says ‘Hello, my name is Lilavati.’ in kanji.

He immediately feels safe with her, enough so that Haru croaks out a dry “No.”

She offers him a soft, reassuring smile as she pulls up a seat, putting her bag next to her. “Well, it’s okay not to be okay. In fact, a hospital is the best place to not be okay in.” She replies, and Haru very nearly cracks a smile. Sousuke releases Haru as Lilavati reaches out to him. She checks his hands with a thoughtful look and then his neck.

“I can tell you that you’ll recover from these — but I would like to get you cleaned up as soon as possible, in a private room preferably, if you would be comfortable with that.”

Haru nods his confirmation but hesitates. “I don’t think… I can’t walk.” He is so suddenly aware that his body is frail. He hadn’t eaten since early the day before, and his antics used up what little energy he had left.

“Of course. Wait here for me; I'll be right back.”

While she is gone, he straightens himself, embarrassed by his current state with his ruffled clothes and tear-streaked face. He had never allowed himself to be like this in a public setting before, having only come close to it during his third year when he had broken down during regionals.

When Lilavati returns, it’s with a comfy-looking wheelchair, and before Sousuke or anyone else can attempt to help, she has single-handedly gotten Haru into it. “There we are, nothing I can’t fix. Are you ready?” She asks kindly, and Haru finds he appreciates the act of letting him have some modicum of control over his shitty situation.

Makoto’s shitty situation, too.

Just as he nods at her, Rin and Asahi rise to follow. The nurse clicks her tongue at them, and the two boys immediately sit. “I think he and I have this under control. Why don’t you wait in the cafeteria for us? Tell them Vati sent you, and they’ll take care of you.” With that, she wheels Haru away to a private room. Just as it shuts, he sees his tired friends slump against each other, sees Nagisa break down into sobs, and Asahi whispering into Ikuya’s messy hair.

“They’ll be okay. So will you, with enough time.” The nurse tells him knowingly, and he flushes at being caught in his thoughts. She smiles again kindly, and Haru can tell she does a lot of this by how naturally it comes to her. “Nothing to be embarrassed about. You’re having a bad day, and so are they. It's natural to worry.”

With this, she gets to work, cleaning his arms with warm, soapy water and sticking an IV into him. It isn’t long before he is feeling much better.

“My name is Haruka,” he tells her, realizing she’s here helping him, and he hasn’t even told anyone his name. “You can call me Haru.”

She looks up at him with the warmest brown eyes he’s ever seen and grins. “It’s lovely to meet you, Haru. My name is Lilavati, but please call me Vati if you don’t mind.”

He’s taken aback by her kindness, even after his breakdown in the lobby earlier. “I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t… I wasn’t…” Haru has always somewhat struggled with words for anyone that wasn’t Makoto, and now Makoto isn’t here, and no one else knows him enough to know what he means.

Lilavati regards him with compassion in her eyes, and he winces when she thoroughly cleans the claw marks on his hands and fingers. “Haru, what is the worst thing that you think I’ve ever seen before?” She asks him very seriously. He doesn’t know what to say, tongue thick and useless in his mouth. She seems to realize this because she doesn’t wait too long to continue. “I’ve seen babies torn from their screaming mother’s arms, gunshot wounds still bleeding long after someone is gone, once I even saw someone with an internal decapitation from a gymnastics injury, just yesterday actually.” The mental imagery of it disturbs Haru, but even that is preferable to the imagery of Makoto fighting for his life.

“Pretty bad stuff, yeah?” She offers, and Haru nods for her wordlessly. The warm cloth is dipped back in the water before she cleans under his nails. “A young man desperate to see the face of the man he loves, so out of his mind with grief, he doesn’t even know where he is, doesn’t even chart in the top three hundred for me.” She finishes, and Haru cracks a smile for her — a sad, pathetic one, but she seems pleased to see it. He wants to ask how she knows he loves Makoto, but her eyes tell him she just does. “Your apology is appreciated and accepted but is ultimately unnecessary. You didn’t mean to cause a disturbance, and anyone that saw it would know that.”

Haru shyly looks at her from under his lashes, raven locks falling into his face. “Will you tell the other nurses I’m sorry, though?” He asks as she rubs what he assumes is some antibacterial medicine on his wounds and dresses them. “Of course I will. We’ve been worried about you for a bit, if I’m honest, but until your friends called for help, we thought it best to give you space. They will feel better knowing your people are taking good care of you.”

It lifts a small amount of pressure from Haru’s chest, but even that tiny amount feels like a ton. “I still feel bad about the mess. I should have cleaned it up myself.” She clicks her tongue thoughtfully as she finishes dressing his hands, which are now blood-free and clean, before tilting his head to clean his neck. “Ehh, don’t worry about it. Messes happen in hospitals. Plus, Ms. Diandian at the front desk is very particular about it, so she would have redone it even if you had. If you want to make it up to her, though, I can give you our coffee orders, and you can buy us coffee in the morning.” Lilavati winks at him, and he nods his head in confirmation that he would like this. Several minutes pass in silence before the nurse speaks again. “Haru, I have a question. Please don’t answer if you're uncomfortable, though.” Haru nods, biting his lip nervously as a bandage is applied to the burn on his throat. “Do you know what self-harm is?”

Her words click in Haru’s mind, but he nods in confirmation again.

“I can tell you didn’t mean to do this, but you did harm yourself, which worries me. Do you have anyone you can talk to about this? Whether purposely or not, I want to make sure this isn’t a cycle that continues when you are in stressful or undesirable situations.”

Haru breathes slowly, afraid he is about to be locked up when Makoto desperately needs him. “Yes, I do. Her name is Vera Hathaway — she’s been helping my family and me with some things, but we meet weekly.”

Lilavati hums, seemingly content with his answer. “Lovely. I know Mrs. Hathaway — she does good work.” Comfortable silence as she takes it upon herself to clean his face until the dry crust from lack of sleep and his tears are gone. “I think, when everything has calmed down and the dust has settled, you should talk to her about this. She can help you make sure this doesn’t happen again. Will you do that for me?”

And, of course, Haru can’t tell her no, so he nods, and she seems pleased. She gently removes his IV, putting a green bandage on the area. She helps him back into his wheelchair and wheels him from the room after disposing of the used materials. Haru finds himself too embarrassed to look at the front desk, at least full-on. Still, he catches the stares of the nurses there as Lilavati wheels him right on by as she chats about the hospital and her job — they smile and turn back to their work, so at least she was honest about them not being angry with him.

She makes time pass by telling him directions around the hospital, but none of them include Makoto’s location. He does listen, though, too tired and in his head to make real conversation, so he mostly hums to let her know he’s still listening. Eventually, they find their way to the cafeteria. It’s large with beige walls, the lights that warm yellow that make you tired instead of the glaring fluorescent Haru hates, and is mostly empty except for his friends who have a literal feast in front of them that has seemingly just been served.

“Haru!” Everyone calls out, standing up immediately.

Lilavati giggles as she rolls Haru up to the circular table and shows him the breaks and how to unlock them. “Your friends are very animated. I like them.” She tells Haru as she stands, one hand on her hip as she takes in the large group of young adults — Haru is aware there are others here now; Seijuro and Momo and their sister Isuzu, Nao and Natsuya, and even Aii who had just been out of the country with his uncle last Haru had heard. “Well, everyone, eat up because I can tell none of you have. I leave my good friend Haru in your hands for now, but I will return soon after I do some work.” She winks at them, and as sudden as the wind, she and her comforting aura are gone.

Instead of being awkward or asking Haru how he is, everyone starts to eat, which he gratefully appreciates because he cannot handle being questioned right now. Rin busies himself, serving both Haru and himself, keeping an eye on Haru’s plate to make sure he’s not only eating but has enough. The food is delicious, and Haru can tell that the staff put a lot of care into the work they do by the sheer quality of it. While he still feels like he has to choke it down, Haru manages to eat well, considering. Soon the food is gone, and Rei is stacking plates and trays neatly before taking them to their designated areas.

Lilavati’s presence graces Haru again, her hand resting on his shoulder. “I wanted to let you know I inquired about your friend.”

Haru’s head snaps upwards, blue orbs wide as he awaits her information. Vati caresses his hair comfortingly. “Makoto is out of surgery and stable.” Before everyone can jump for joy, she raises a manicured hand for silence. “He isn’t out of the woods, though. I will not bother mincing my words because that isn’t the comfort you need. He sustained serious internal injuries from his experience and is currently in a coma. Doctors expect a full recovery, but unfortunately, he isn’t awake.” Her gaze carries a lot of empathy, and both hands cross behind her back. Haru feels his heart dropping, and he closes his eyes before tears can spill. “What is best now is that your friend rests, that you all rest. He is well cared for here, and we will not let anything else happen to him. I won’t let anything else happen, not in my hospital.” She seems to look all of them in the eye, and Haru can feel her gaze on him as he looks at his bandaged hands. “The nurses have agreed to let you all make use of an on-call room if none of you wish to leave tonight, but please know that walking these halls like ghosts will not help him heal, and it will not make you feel better either. I highly suggest tomorrow everyone heads home for real rest and self-care.”

She gets down to Haru’s level, tilting his head up by his chin with a gentle finger. “You’re all welcome here, and if anyone gives you trouble, let me know, but you also have to continue living. Your friend is young and, from what I hear, in perfect physical condition. He will survive this. We have no idea what recovery will look like, but he will survive.”

The ‘And so will you.’ is there but goes unspoken.

Haru understands that her words come from a place of love and wisdom, from seeing people waste away in these halls waiting for their loved ones to come back. She doesn’t want that for them. It also seems that while there are undoubtedly people above her in this hospital in rank, Lilavati is the one who runs it.

Haru chooses to stay, which is obvious — but he is surprised that almost everyone else voices their desire to as well. The only ones who leave are Nao, who has work he cannot get out of, Seijuro, who has to return to the team for training in the morning, and Natsuya. The latter hugs Haru so tightly that it shocks Haru; he realizes that he cannot remember Natsuya having ever hugged him before now. “I’m so sorry,” He whispers into Haru’s ear before straightening himself, ruffling Haru’s hair affectionately. He’s holding back tears and sniffles deeply before grinning. “Lena will want to know how everyone is. She wanted to come, but I felt we should keep this intimate.” Lena, Natsuya’s girlfriend, was the newest addition to this little pack of misfits and pretty well-liked by everyone aside from Ikuya, who barely concealed his disdain for her, and Asahi who would never dare to like anyone his lover didn’t. She also happened to be Albert’s younger sister and was just as drop-dead gorgeous as him in that Swedish supermodel way.

Haru still doesn’t feel well enough to walk, so Lilavati wheels him to their on-call room for the night as the others follow behind. It’s pretty spacious, Haru notices as he’s wheeled in. It has several bunk beds, a large circular table with chairs in the middle, and a decently sized flat screen wall mounted on the furthest wall with several faux-leather couches surrounding it. It didn’t feel like an on-call room like from the shows Haru had watched, but it would do for the night.

“Lilavati, I can’t begin to tell you how much we appreciate your kindness. Are you sure there’s nothing we can do to repay you?” Rei begins, and the nurse laughs as she hugs Rei, who seems to sink into it. He clearly needed it.

“You’re too sweet, but it was nothing. Helping people isn’t always bandages and medicine, but I appreciate your appreciation.” She releases Rei and lays the television remote and a hot pink Post-it note on the table. “You are free to use the wifi, and the tv does have all the usual streaming services; the logins are here on this note. If you choose to, please use my account so as not to disturb anything Diandian watches — I fear her wrath if we interrupt her nine-hundredth rewatch of The Vampire Diaries.” Lilavati laughs and turns to Haru for her obvious parting words. She hands him a separate orange Post-it — her flowery writing is on it. “This is my personal number if you find yourself in need of a shoulder or kind ear. Don’t hesitate.”

She doesn’t allow Haru to object as she turns to the door. “The lock does work if that makes any of you more comfortable. Please keep any noise at a reasonable level, but don’t hesitate to find anyone if help is needed. When you are finished with the wheelchair, just leave it here for someone to collect. Good evening to you all, and sleep well.” With that, Lilavati is gone once more, and Haru is alone with his friends.

The tears don’t happen immediately, but they do come within the hour and soon they’re all crying. By the time they stop, Nagisa has turned his favorite American cartoon on — Phineas and Ferb. They all sit around the television like children, trying to forget that Makoto is somewhere in this hospital, fighting to make his way back to them. By the time Haru falls asleep, which consists of being sandwiched between Asahi and Ikuya, his temples are pounding from exhaustion and tears.

He dreams of swimming in a dark pool with no bottom, just endless darkness. He feels like he’s being watched, and when he looks down, he sees a white-furred monster with no face swimming up to him rapidly. Haru cannot move or escape, and a paw wraps around his ankle and drags him below the surface. When he looks up, he sees Makoto’s horrified face reaching for him, but they are too far apart for either to reach the other. His fingers skin just below the surface of the water, and just as Haru begins to drown, everything goes white.

Haru finds himself in an endless white space, a space that felt hot and cold to him, both silent and so loud he could not think. He felt like he was going insane.

“Wake up, little fish.”

“G-Grandma?”

His grandmother is on her knees beside him in this endless place, and her hands cup his dripping wet face.

“I know you have questions, but you need to wake up. You don’t belong in this nothingness.”

“What is this place? I don’t understand.”

She smiles sadly, but then there’s something like fire in her eyes. She touches his forehead, and Haru suddenly feels a sensation like he’s being dragged backward.

“WAKE UP!”

——————

SATURDAY, APRIL 8TH, 2023 — 8:00 AM.

Haru wakes with a start and a scream on his lips that never comes. He hits his head on the top bunk, which not only makes Asahi jump and do the same, but also makes Sousuke roll off the bed in surprise. Asahi whines as he rubs his head, and Ikuya giggles next to him. “Stupid Asahi.” He says sleepily but affectionately and leans up to kiss his forehead. Haru wants to feel a type of way watching them, a pang of hurt, but before he can, he sees a pink-haired head swing down from the top bunk, violet eyes shining. “Howdy, Haru. How are you this morning?” Upside-down Kisumi asks, and Haru looks down and away. He can see the light stretching across the floor through the bottom of black-out curtains, which means it’s the next day.

Kisumi disappears before swinging his body gracefully off the top bunk, helping Sousuke up while tenderly kissing his face. “I’m gonna go get coffee — text me orders.” And with a wiggle of his fingers and a wink, Kisumi sashays out of the on-call room. For someone who hasn’t showered in a day, has been crying and sobbing, and slept in a hospital bed with a man who gives off more body heat than a small furnace, Kisumi certainly looks like he just waltzed off a magazine cover. Haru finds it cosmically unfair.

Warm tea in hand after freshening himself up, Haru makes his way to the nurse's station after sneaking away from the others who are content to hover like hawks over him. When he arrives, it seems that Kisumi has made good on his promise to deliver the coffee because the nurses there are happily sipping on their beverages.

“Good morning Haru!” A middle-aged Chinese woman with a pixie cut calls to him, and her name badge identifies her as the infamous vampire-loving Diandian. She welcomes him with a motherly hug that he gratefully accepts. “How are you feeling? Is there anything you need?” She asks him kindly, and Haru nods.

“Is Vati in this morning?” He asks, and Diandian turns to a fair-skinned nurse who shakes her head, blonde curls bouncing. Her name tag says her name is Océane, and she speaks to Haru with a thick French accent. “Unfortunately, my love, this is her day off, but she has updated everyone in the building on the current situation, so any of us will be happy to assist with anything you need.”

Haru blushes, but not from embarrassment. It touches his heart that a stranger would go so far to help him in this way.

“Are you looking for him?” Diandian asks, and Haru nods. She even told them about Makoto. This woman certainly deserves a raise and maybe sainthood.

“I will take you to him. I need to check on Mrs. Lo next door so that will be, eh, two birds with one stone as the saying goes.” Océane offers, locking his arm with her, chart in her other hand.

“Are you sure that's okay? I don’t want to cause any more trouble.”

Océane laughs in a way he can only describe as audibly cursive. “My love, the nurses run this hospital. If we say it is okay, do not worry your pretty little head about it.” If it had been some random person, Haru wouldn’t be sure how to feel about being called pretty, but Océane made him feel safe. Like an old friend he hadn’t seen in years. Before they leave, Haru stops and bows to the nurses as deeply as he can muster with his stiff muscles.

“I deeply apologize for my behavior yesterday. It was a bad day, and I wasn’t myself. Please forgive me.”

He only straightens when he feels a hand on his shoulder. He looks up to see Diandian, that same motherly smile on her face as when she had greeted him.

“No more apologies. The past is in the past, and today is new. Plus, it gave me inspiration for new desk decorations.”

Haru flushes and nods. When he looks, almost the entire surface is covered in the most beautiful blue flowers he has ever seen.

——————

Océane is a great conversationalist, but most people find themselves in that position with Haru anyways. Despite his significant improvements in his sociability lately, Haru found that he was undoubtedly more introverted no matter what.

“Thank you for letting us have the on-call room.” Haru says between a moment of silence as they walk upstairs. They could have taken the elevator, but Océane suggested the steps might help loosen his muscles which turned out to be a good suggestion because he didn’t feel half petrified anymore.

“No worries, angel. There are several in the hospital, and we have very good schedules, so we rarely stay overnight. I am glad you could rest after the harrowing day you had.”

“It wasn’t easy, but I do feel somewhat rested. I might have nearly given myself a mild concussion when I woke up, though.”

The nurse turns to him, concern and humor mixed in her eyes, and Haru doesn’t bother telling her not to worry as she looks over his head. She finds the spot he hit, humming in her lovely way before she diagnoses. “You will be fine, just a minor bump, but I suggest a cold compress and ibuprofen for swelling and residual pain; maybe do not do any strenuous exercise until tomorrow.” She even pulls a red, heart-shaped sucker from her pocket, which makes them both giggle and then they leave the landing. It’s a quiet part of the hospital, and Haru gets the feeling he shouldn’t make too much noise.

Eventually, she shows him Makoto’s door, and he feels almost frozen to the spot. It’s decorated in pretty fake green flowers, and Haru notices all the doors have similar decor. Before she goes over to the neighboring resident, Océane stops him with a gentle hand on his elbow.

“Haru, I must let you know, his appearance may be shocking, according to his nurse. Do not be alarmed, most of the outside damage is superficial and will heal quickly. Try not to work yourself up too much, and know I am just next door if you need anything.”

Haru swallows thickly, nodding his head as he steels himself.

When he enters, Haru is so shocked he nearly faints. The worst injury Haru had ever seen Makoto face was when they were nine, and he stepped on a piece of broken glass. It hadn’t been too bad, but the boy had cried, which was given when a piece of glass was lodged in one’s foot, but Haru had hugged him tight until his tears became sniffles and then stopped altogether as the family practitioner removed the shard.

This was nothing like that — Makoto was covered in bruises and cuts and various bandages. His handsome face was swollen, and while he thankfully wasn’t on a breathing machine, he certainly looked dead. While the hospital room itself is large, cleverly decorated in greens with a big window open to let in the outside, Makoto seems so tiny that Haru almost moves to make sure it isn’t some fake wax replica and not his Makoto.

But it is Makoto. Bruised and battered and beaten, he is still Haru’s Makoto.

He’s sobbing before he even realizes it. His hands are holding the edge of the bed, and he is choking on air and tears. His form shakes in its grief, the force so powerful Haru fears he will split in two. Then there are hands, which firmly pull him to a sofa across the room.

“It is okay, Haru. I should not have let you come in alone; I did not know his parents were at breakfast. I am sorry.”

Océane.

Haru wants to say it’s okay, that it’s his fault. Because it is his fault that tbis happened. He should have stopped this. If he had, then Makoto would be at home, Chris and David would be alive for him to tolerate, and his heart wouldn’t be breaking.

Instead, all he can do is sob one word brokenly repeatedly.

“Why?”

Océane does not have an answer, but she does hold him until Makoto’s parents arrive, and she allows them to take her place. The three make a terrible pair and hold each’s shaking forms while Makoto’s unmoving form rests.

Chapter Text

FRIDAY, APRIL 13TH, 2023 — 9:30 AM.

Haru hadn’t been back to Hidaka or done any of his schoolwork, and hadn’t been swimming or to practice even once since the night of the Mount Takao attack. He’s tried to eat but he can only eat a few bites before the nausea sets in, not even the taste of mackerel can be stomached. Most nights sleep refuses to come to him at all, and if he does happen to sleep it’s only for an hour or two at the most. He’s falling behind in everything, and he’s so numb to most things now that he doesn’t realize it until actual hunger or exhaustion begins clawing at him.

He tried to spend as much time at the hospital as possible, but Lilavati had made good on her word that she would not be letting them rot away in the hospital waiting for Makoto. Haru would normally sit for four or five hours, questioning doctors about everything from treatments to his recovery to what exactly he should be doing when Makoto wakes — once this allotted time passed she would collect him and anyone with him that weren’t immediate family members.

“This is from a place of love, dear. Please rest and come back tomorrow, and bring something to distract yourself — like a book or a game,” Lilavati would say as she checked his wounds which were healing quite well with such great care provided to him.

“Is it okay for you to be providing medical care without charging me?” He would ask every single time, and Lilavati would always glance at him conspiratorially from the corner of her eyes and ask, “What medical care?”

That always made him smile, even if just for a moment.

——————

It had been seven days since the attack. Makoto still hadn’t woken up, and Haru was on the verge of an even worse kind of breakdown than what he’d had in the hospital. Haru had overheard that Makoto’s chances of waking, ever, were growing smaller as the days passed. With that knowledge, the raven-haired boy had come to realize he could not imagine a future without Makoto. Was he supposed to wake up without Makoto’s warm smile to greet him, as he had become accustomed to ever since they were just young boys? What about their impromptu day trips, or the way he always knew exactly what Haru needed or was thinking? That was just the tip of the iceberg of things he could only have with the boy who had been by his side since literal birth. What would there be without him? Nothing Haru was interested in, for sure. Sure, he could go on and find someone new to love, but he had no interest in anyone else. Even if he hadn’t found the courage to tell Makoto how he felt, he knew in his soul one truth — Makoto Tachibana was it for him. If anything happened, he would be unable to go on. There was nothing for him without Makoto. There could be no one else, no matter how kind-hearted or loving they were. It wouldn’t be like losing a limb, it would be the loss of his soul. Just the thought of it made Haru start crying quietly at his kitchen table, the morning light filtering in through the closed curtains. They had remained closed since everything had happened.

Next to him Asahi and Ikuya took hold of his hands, one for each. It wasn’t unusual to see a lot of his friends, they were a closely knit group and one of those rare cases where they didn’t fall apart just because high school ended, though there had certainly been trials. Since the attack, though, he never had less than two people in his apartment at a time. Normally it would irritate him because Makoto was the only person Haru could be around for extended periods without feeling like ants were crawling all over him, but now it just felt nice to not be alone in a space he had come to realize was just too big for him alone. His home wasn’t here, but back in the hospital.

“Let it out, it’s okay. Look, I got you some water.”

Ikuya seemed to understand the comfort water brought him, because a bowl of water was placed in front of him. He felt almost pathetic, childish, as they submerged his hands in it. Except now the water was just cold — it wouldn’t speak to him the way it normally did. It was like something was blocking the connection, a painful silence that made him feel sick to his stomach. “What am I supposed to do? I-I can’t…I can’t just…” The words don’t come, and Haru feels like he’s choking on them. Asahi and Ikuya seem to understand what he’s struggling so hard to say.

“You won’t have to. Makoto is strong, he’ll pull through. We all saw the wounds on him, he fought like hell against that son of a bitch! He’s not done fighting, so don’t you give up on him now!” Asahi says, the passion in his voice startling Haru. Even in the face of his own pain, Asahi refuses to dim his light, and who could ask him to? Like a wildfire, Asahi Shiina could not be commanded into becoming smaller than what he was.

“Asahi’s right. Makoto needs you to take care of yourself and be patient with him. He’ll find his way back to you, he always does,” Ikuya adds on, stroking Haru’s arm.

Back to him? Were Haru’s feelings so obvious? Could they see the true depth of his feelings for Makoto?

In the next few minutes, the news begins playing in the background. On the screen his mother appears, just as somber as the night he had told her about Makoto, and it reminds Haru of what transpired when he had.

“Mama… it’s Makoto,” Haru had whispered to her the first night he left the hospital. He had made his way on foot somehow to his parent's condo, not even realizing where his aimless feet took him until the door swung open. Clearly, they had been panicking because his mother had her phone pressed to her ear, talking to someone he assumed was one of his friends looking for him. Haru had collapsed into her arms, sobbing his lungs out until his bones ached. For the first time since middle school, she held him tight to her, as if she could ward off the pain and grief he felt with her own body. Even his father had come then, and with strength incomparable to anything else, had carried his wife and son single-handedly into the warmth of their condo. The Nanase’s had never been a particularly emotional bunch, but at that moment Haru was just a boy who needed his parents. They had kept in pretty decent contact since with mostly Ikuya doing the texting for him because Haru couldn’t concentrate on anything long enough to hold a conversation. It was a welcome change to see in his parents who had left him to his devices for far too long, one that held the promise of healing the divide that had grown in their family over the years.

“Officials say that one week ago today three backpackers were attacked in the Mount Takao Forest just days after Joar escaped his transport vehicle.” she says, her fingers wrapped so tightly around her microphone that her knuckles are white. “There are two confirmed fatalities — that of Australian swimmer David Gilbert, son of famed author Ephraim Gilbert. The second is confirmed to be American swimmer Christopher Jones who was the son of Goodman Jones, United States Secretary of Defense. The identity of a survivor is currently being kept private as requested by the family who wish for priv-”

Haru releases a spine-chilling wail, the most heart-stopping wail possibly ever if such a thing could be recorded world-record style. it seemed to almost shake the building, arms immediately wrapping around himself as if he could just keep this unending nightmare out. The bowl in front of him hits the wall without him even realizing he’d thrown it, shattering it into several pieces. Ikuya and Asahi jump in both fear and shock at the realization of what had triggered this. Ikuya demands Asahi turn the television off. Asahi begins panicking, smashing the power button which has no effect as the batteries have miraculously died, before giving up entirely and launching the remote at the television so hard and so quickly that it shatters the screen and makes it go silent.

Ikuya is yelling at him about stupidly breaking Haru’s television instead of just manually getting up to turn it off, and Asahi is trying to explain his panicked impulses which just gets him several half-hearted smacks upon his head that Asahi makes a bigger deal about than necessary. Neither stops until Ikuya notices that Haru is desperately picking up the pieces of the shattered bowl, sobbing “I’m sorry” over and over into the shards.

“Oh Haru…”

“I didn’t mean to. I didn’t mean it, I didn’t.” Haru cries, and when he looks at Ikuya he immediately begins to cry, the sheer depth of Haru’s grief too much for him to bear. Haru’s normally calm demeanor is shattered just like the bowl, his wide eyes make him look like a distraught toddler and not the twenty-year-old university student he is. Haru has never been so lost and broken in his entire life.

“Hey buddy, it’s okay.” Asahi begins gently, kneeling beside Haru carefully. approaching softly like how one would a cornered animal.

“No! I broke it! I broke his favorite bowl! I’m fucking stupid! Stupid, and selfish, and worthless and and and a wast-”

“Haruka!” Asahi has never taken this tone with him and has never so much as dared to call him by his full name. The shock of it is not unlike a slap to the face, as if Asahi had dropped an entire tank of ice-cold water on him, ending his sobs and panic attack immediately. “You need to stop talking about yourself like that — you’re not stupid or worthless or any of those other things. You’re smart, and loved, and beautiful, and wonderful, and so talented. It was just an accident.” Warm hands cup Haru’s face, and while they’re not the hands Haru so desperately wants, they help ground him as fingers wipe his fears away. “It was an accident, I can fix it. I think you should clean yourself up and lay down for a little bit before we go to the hospital, yeah?”

Haru nods, and when Ikuya helps him into a warm bath later he doesn’t even stop to realize he’s naked, that he wasn’t wearing his jammers. Ikuya takes no notice, and Haru doesn’t say anything.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what? There’s nothing to apologize for, Haru.”

“For the…”

There’s silence, and Ikuya takes a deep breath before sitting on the edge of the tub. He scrubs shampoo into Haru’s hair with his thorough hands. They feel good. “Haru, you don’t owe anyone an apology. You’re traumatized and going through a lot.”

“But-”

“But nothing. If anything I should apologize to you. I was watching the news while you and Asahi got breakfast and never turned it off — because of that you saw something that triggered you. I’m really sorry.”

“Ikuya, no.”

“How about this, instead of being sorry we work on it. I will make sure I’m more thoughtful and you work on not bottling your emotions up until you explode. Deal?”

“Yes,” Haru replies simply, and that is the end of the conversation.

Ten minutes later, Haru is dry and dressed in black distressed jeans and an oversized green hoodie — the hoodie belonging to Makoto. Just before Haru turns to his bedroom to take a quick nap his gaze falls upon Asahi. He has nearly pieced the bowl back together carefully with glue, the tip of his tongue just peeking out of the corner of his mouth, with near-godlike levels of concentration. Haru is overwhelmed by his love for both of them, actually all of his friends, but chooses to rest instead of saying it out loud.

——————

Haru dreams he’s running through an endless green forest. Something is chasing him. Hunting him. He can hear it. Branches snap, and powerful feet strike the earth in its pursuit. Haru can hear his heartbeat in his ears, a constant drumming sound that drowns out every other thing but the beast on his heels. It snarls at him in its pursuit, and he cries out in genuine terror.

He sees a break in the trees, hears the waves of the ocean, and just as Haru breaks through to dive off into the water, a clawed hand grabs his ankle and drags him back into the tree line.

Haru wakes with a start, eyes wide with terror, and doesn’t even realize Ikuya is next to him, hand hovering above his shoulder. He was clearly in the middle of waking Haru but had stopped when he jerked awake. “Haru? Are you okay?” Ikuya asks, and Haru realizes his chest is heaving, taking in rather large gulps of air.

“Y-Yeah… Just a bad dream.”

“Are you sure? Maybe we should stay home today, just to be safe.”

“No, I need to go. I need to see him.”

Ikuya seems unconvinced by this, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, but he caves. “Okay. Just… please let us know if it’s too much. We can come back and watch some movies. My mom is bringing us curry for dinner.”

“Mackerel curry?” Haru asks, voice small.

“So much mackerel! All the mackerel!” Ikuya giggles, tilting his head to the side to rest on his own shoulder, silky hair fanning out in that way Haru has always secretly admired. Haru is once again reminded that Ikuya is one of the most beautiful people in the world in his opinion, if his opinion happened to be worth anything at all. Ikuya seems to think really hard about something before he speaks. “Haru, it’s going to be okay. Makoto will come back to you, and when he does you and he can…” Ikuya considers his words but apparently thinks better of it. “C’mon, let’s get going.” He stands, holding out his hand, and Haru takes it without even having to think about it.

As they leave, he notices Makoto’s bowl drying on the kitchen table, almost perfectly pieced back together by Asahi’s loving hands. Haru smiles sadly, running his fingers over the sealed cracks before following his friends out the front door.

——————

FRIDAY, APRIL 13TH, 2023 — 11:00 AM.

Haru sits and waits. And waits. And waits.

He knows he promised he wouldn’t just sit at Makoto’s bedside like this, but there’s nothing else he can do. He can’t swim, he can barely eat, can barely do anything because everything is something he would do with Makoto. Just like all those years ago, when little Makoto had declared that swimming without Haru was meaningless, doing things without the man he loved at his side held no meaning to Haru. If he had to choose between doing things with Makoto or without him, Haru would rather do nothing at all.

The Tachibanas had left to take the twins back to Iwatobi where Ms. Amakata would care for them. They wouldn’t return for a couple of days, and Haru was making it his primary mission to be here every single moment until they returned. There had been lots of tears, Ran and Ren clinging to their brother’s peaceful form and begging to stay. It made Haru want to claw his skin off, watching them plead for five more minutes.

He was going insane. This couldn’t go on if he was to survive.

Haru was massaging Makoto’s legs as instructed by Vati, who had taken up the position as Makoto’s primary nurse, and Ikuya had just left with Asahi to get them lunch when a knock came to the door. Haru turned and saw Océane pop her blonde head in, a baby blue scarf keeping her perfect curls in place. “Bon après-midi mon amour,” she says happily and slips into the room. Then her calm demeanor vanishes, and she’s upon him like a lightning strike.

“Listen to me very carefully, say nothing.” Her tone has never been so serious before, and Haru’s heart takes a swan dive straight out of his backend. She takes his shoulders in his hands and turns his full body towards her. “There are agents here investigating this situation from America, and they wish to speak with you.” Haru’s eyebrows furrow, and he nods his head. He says nothing, as instructed. “They seem polite and perhaps sincere, but I do not trust them entirely. Tell them only what they ask you, nothing more. Do not lie, but do not offer them anything.”

“Océane, perhaps-”

“Listen to me,” His lips zip shut at her command, and he nods again. “When people in black suits come calling, that means something is wrong. They hide it behind pretty words and handshakes, but to send a team to investigate halfway across the world means someone is afraid of something. Do not get wrapped up in anything. You understand what I mean, yes?”

Haru nods again, and Océane finally smiles for real. Haru finds he prefers this over what he just experienced. “Okay, I will let them in. If you need anything I will be right next door. Do not hesitate to call, little dove.” She kisses both of his cheeks and spins on her heel and opens the door, her usual energy back in place as she greets the Americans and ushers them in. The door closes like a dungeon.

The Americans are very different — The man is tall, with dark hair swept back minus a few loose strands, and handsome in that way where he’s got a tortured, dark past he’s living with but a heart of gold. The woman is shorter, red hair cut to chin length — she looks more serious than the man, though does not look unkindly between Haru and Makoto’s comatose form. Haru doesn’t realize he is standing like a guard dog between Makoto and them, hands stiff as his sides.

“Hello,” the woman says, smiling at him with that same one everyone used. It sucked that she had known him all of three seconds and could tell he was losing it. “I hear you are Haru Nanase?” she asks.

“Yes ma’am.” His English has never been his greatest skill, but thanks to Rin and Ikuya’s insistence to take English lessons, he could have a decent conversation even if he sometimes struggled.

The woman reaches out to shake his hand, and he politely reciprocates by shaking it. He does the same for the man. “My name is Agent Dana Scully, and this is Agent Fox Mulder. We’re with the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Could we have a few minutes of your time?”

The FBI? Haru could see why Océane had been so stressed, but he was at least interested enough to let himself be momentarily distracted. It wasn’t like they would lock him up if he said something out of line. He nods, and with a hand on his elbow he lets her guide him to a table by the open window where, funnily enough, three chairs sit empty.

“We apologize for intruding like this. It’s never a good time to talk to the feds.” Agent Mulder politely makes conversation, and Haru nods, nervously wringing his hands on the tabletop. Agent Scully notices this and kindly places her own hand on top of his. “There’s nothing to be nervous about, Haru. Not with us.”

Something about them relaxes Haru like he can tell they’re not shady men-in-black coming to take anyone away for some crime that hadn’t been committed. He breathes in and turns his attention to Mulder. “So…not to be rude, but why do FBI Agents care about a bear attack in Japan?”

Mulder actually laughs pretty loudly, and Scully cuts him a sharp look that makes him think of all the times Nao has silenced Natsuya without a single word. “I apologize for him, he’s a child.” It makes Haru grin, and they both seem to appreciate seeing it as opposed to Haru’s solemn frown. “Christopher Jones was the son of the United States Secretary of Defense. When something like this happens, there’s always an investigation, even if only for paperwork. In this situation, we’re working alongside Japanese officials to resolve the case.” She explains to him clearly, and professionally as if rehearsed from a script, and he nods in understanding. They both show Haru their badges, just to confirm that they are in fact FBI Agents.

Her eyes turn to Makoto in his hospital, and then back to Haru. “I can tell he means a lot to you. I’m sorry this is happening.” She’s sincere and is also starting to make Haru think all of the stereotypes about people like them aren’t entirely correct.

“He’s…”

“Important to you,” Mulder finishes, and it seems they both understand the depth of how important.

“Haru, we have to ask. Is there anything you can or want to tell us about what happened?” Mulder asks, his tone not demanding or conniving but genuine. Haru can tell if he were to refuse they would leave without consequence. “Anything you tell us will be noted in our investigation.” Scully tacks on at the end, an attempt at transparency. He appreciates it.

“Well, Makoto was going with Chris and David to Mount Takao for a weekend hiking trip.” He starts, and their attention is immediately undivided, both listening to him speak without interruption. “I spoke with Makoto the day before they left — the polar bear had escaped that day, you know?” Mulder nods. “I begged him not to go, but he was pretty insistent that the three of them would be fine.”

“Why would they think that?”

“Well, the news had reported that the last it had been seen was when it was traveling up the mountain and they were sticking strictly to the forest.” In hindsight, it was silly to think three people could fend off a crazed polar bear. “Makoto told me he would be staying in town at a hotel while Chris and David went hiking, but as you can tell…”

Haru doesn’t notice the tears until the splash on the table. Agent Scully takes his hands in hers, squeezing them. “It’s okay, take your time. I can’t imagine how hard this is for you,” she says kindly, and Agent Mulder produces tissues for Haru.

Eventually, he composes himself, but she continues to hold his hands as if to center him. “The night the attack happened, he called us.”

“This is after he fled the campsite?”

“Yes. He was hysterical, he could barely form a sentence. It seemed like he was trying to get Chris’ car to start, but it…” He can hear it so clearly now. The sounds. Haru places his hands over his ears as if he can block them out.

Agent Mulder wraps an arm around his shoulders, and his face is pressed into his suit jacket. “It’s okay kid, you don’t have to do this if it’s too much,” he tells Haru, and Agent Scully offers her agreement.

When he pulls himself together he sits up straight, but now they both hold a separate hand. “It pulled him out of the car. He tried to fight it off but…it laughed at him.”

Agent Scully looks stunned. “Laughed?”

“Yes, it laughed.”

“So are you saying you think a person attacked the boys?”

Haru shakes his head. “No, not a person. It wasn’t a person, but it laughed.” He turns his gaze to them both. Agent Scully seems slightly skeptical, but Mulder doesn’t look the least bit. To the swimmer it’s clear Mulder hears and believes him, and Haru desperately needs that. “Please believe me, I’m telling you the truth. It laughed at him, I heard it. We all did. It was Makoto’s dad, myself, Rin, and-” Haru is about to go right down the list of people until Mulder stops him.

“I believe you. I believe you, Haru.” Haru’s eyes are so big, tears swimming in them, and he feels such relief to just say it.

“After that…he screamed and then it left. I think it bit him on the neck because I heard…”

“You heard it bite down,” Scully finishes for him, and he nods.

There’s silence until Scully speaks again. “Between us, I’m a doctor too. Would you mind if I took a look at his wounds myself?” Haru nods his head. and the three get up. He watches her wash her hands thoroughly, applying gloves for optimal cleanliness.

“Don’t worry. Scully is very good at what she does, she’ll be gentle with him,” Mulder assures him, and she offers Haru a smile as she takes her place at Makoto’s side. She gently takes Makoto’s hands, turning them over. “He definitely fought like hell. Look here.” She motions for Haru and Mulder to come closer, she shows his bruised hands, and his cracked and even missing fingernails. “He made the bear pay for it. Your friend is tough.” Haru can tell she’s trying to make him feel better, and he genuinely appreciates it.

“Makoto is strong. You should have heard him,” Haru says, wiping his cheek with his sleeve. Next, she moves up to Makoto’s face. “It almost looks like…he was backhanded? Perhaps he caught the back of a paw,” she whispers, and Haru’s eyes snap up. Of course, he had seen the bruises but had not put much thought into them before.

“What?” Mulder replies, and Scully moves on without a reply. Half of it is bandaged up, but her interest is now the comatose boy’s throat, and she moves a light to the right side for a better view. “I’m sorry, Mr. Tachibana. I promise to turn it off momentarily.” Normally Haru would secretly be pleased at the gesture, but all of his focus is on her personal investigation of Makoto.

Backhanded? Did bears backhand people?

“This is wrong…” she says to herself, her inner monologue slipping out in her concentration.

“Scully? What is it?” Mulder asks, but she turns to Haru instead.

“You said he was dragged from the car but that the bite on his neck happened afterward? You heard it?”

“Yes. What’s happening?”

She clicks off the light and begins looking over Makoto’s form. “I don’t mean to be invasive, Haru, but I just need to check. Was he bitten anywhere else that you know of?”

Haru shakes his head. “Lilavati, his nurse, has gone over everything with me. There was one bite. Some scrapes, bruises, and internal damage but only one bite.” The panic inside Haru rises as Scully’s eyebrows narrow, and he is wringing his hands again. “Should I grab her? Maybe-”

“Not yet. Thank you, though.”

She has moved down to the foot of the bed, and she is looking at Makoto’s feet. She takes the sock off of his right foot and looks it over before slipping it back on. When she gets to the left and does the same, her eyes go wide.

“Mulder. Come here.”

“Guys, please just-”

Mulder moves in his line of sight, and the man’s shoulder stiffens as he looks at Makoto’s right foot. There is silence, and Scully replaces the sock and goes about patting down the comforter.

“Haru, we want to thank you for seeing us today,” Mulder says, and a card is placed in his hand. On the front, it has Mulder and Scully’s names and phone numbers, and on the back the same but in kanji.

“Is everything okay?” he asks, and Scully seems to grasp the full extent of his panic because she places her hands on his shoulders.

“Breathe with me. Yeah?” She does the in-and-out thing, and he does the same until he isn’t shaking anymore. “Everything is fine. Just new developments we need to look into. We will keep you in the loop, we promise.”

Haru nods, not convinced but he needs to see what they saw. Now. Both agents give their farewells and exit the room. Haru runs to Makoto’s side, ripping his sock off. At first, the realization doesn’t hit him, but when it does, his stomach turns.

Around Makoto’s left ankle are five distinct, finger-shaped bruises, as if a human hand had dragged him from the car.

——————

“Mulder, be serious here. There is a teenage boy in that hospital room and you’re entertaining the idea of a monster.” Scully tells him as they exit the elevator. She catches the eye of a boy with stunning maroon hair and matching red eyes, and he holds her gaze as he enters the elevator.

“I didn’t say a monster, but when was the last time bears had opposable thumbs Scully? Also, he’s twenty, I read his records.”

“A birth defect of some kind, maybe. Or maybe it wasn’t a bear that attacked Makoto and his friends. Maybe it was a madman and Makoto’s fear warped his perception of the event.”

“You think a person tore Chris Jones and David Gilbert, two extremely fit athletes in their prime, to pieces under heavy gunfire? Really?”

“And you think a monster did it! At least I’m not suggesting we tell the Secretary of Defense, Skinner, and Makoto Tachibana’s family that a fairytale attacked them! Do you want to go tell that poor kid watching his friend waste away in a hospital bed?”

“Scully, they were definitely more than friends.”

“Mulder!” Scully hisses at him. He gives her a look that says “What?” and she sighs. “Okay, obviously, but you can’t say things like that. It’s disrespectful.”

“You think being gay is disrespectful? Dana Scully, my word!”

“Mulder you know damn well-” she begins, slamming the car door behind her.

“I know you think a polar bear with mutated opposable thumbs had the dexterity to pull Makoto Tachibana out of a car and drag him one-handed several feet before biting him exactly one time just to let him go.” He replies sarcastically. “Oh, and don’t forget backhanding him too. Because apparently, polar bears are now 1960s Italian-American mobsters with pinky rings. Sure though, a monster is impossible.”

She glares at him as he starts the car and begins backing out. “Mulder I know what you’re saying but I think that jumping to the conclusion of the supernatural when a natural ex- MULDER!” she shrieks, and he slams the brakes.

Behind them stands Haru, looking as if he’s run a mile and a half, but a look of sheer determination on his face. Both Mulder and Scully look at each other, and she gives him a stern look.

“Mulder, absolutely no-”

“Get in kid!” he yells out the window, and Haru joins them in the backseat.

“I don’t care if it’s against protocol. I can’t sit up there anymore and I can’t go home and have another breakdown. I’m going with you, wherever you’re going.”

“Haru, you really should go back and be with your friend,” Scully says in the gentlest tone she reserves purely for those she can tell need it.

“He’s not my friend,” Haru says, and she can see the storm behind his eyes that builds with every word he speaks. “He’s the love of my life and something tried to take him from me. I have to know what, and I have to kill it.”

She’s stunned into silence, and she looks at Mulder who grins. “Told you so.” Is all he says as he begins to back up again. Scully sighs again, defeated.

“Okay, but put your seatbelt on. We’re headed for Mount Takao.”

——————

FRIDAY, APRIL 13TH, 2023 — 1:00 PM.

The drive itself isn’t bad, but as they are in a new country that they aren’t used to, naturally Mulder and Scully don’t know the first thing when it comes to directions and their GPS quickly proves ineffective. Luckily Haru knows the way and guides them as best as he can.

“I guess it’s a good thing Haru tagged along, right Scully?” Mulder says, and Scully rolls her eyes at him.

“Thank you Haru, we really would be lost without you. Have you been to Mount Takao before?”

“A couple of times. It’s not so bad if you like nature.” Haru prefers nature where water is involved, but a nice forest scene never hurt. “Why did you two decide to take this case?”

Scully chuckles. “Well Mulder, go on. Tell the class,” she says in that petty tone.

Haru turns his expectant gaze upon Mulder, who breaks at least three traffic laws by taking his gaze off the road to look at Haru. “You’re looking at the FBI’s most unwanted.”

Haru blanks. “What.”

That’s enough to make both adults laugh. “We’re the X-Files. Things that don’t look right on paper, that can’t be explained. We handle those cases.”

Haru, with all the effort he can manage, tries to understand. He fails. “So… You think something is wrong here? As in not normal?”

“Bingo, bud. This stinks of-”

Scully sighs, and Haru can already hear the exasperated tone that screams that Scully’s been dealing with this for too long. “Haru, there’s a perfectly normal explanation for everything that’s happened, and while this is a horrible situation, absolutely horrible, this is nothing an investigation won’t solve.”

“I looked at Makoto’s foot. Those were bruises from a hand, not a paw. Bears have paws.”

Mulder smacks his hand on the steering wheel, looking over his shoulder at Haru. “I like you, kid. I knew bringing you along was the right call.”

“Don’t do that,” Scully glares at Mulder before turning a kinder gaze to Haru. “You’re right, bears don’t have hands, but that doesn’t mean it’s a monster in the woods. The bruise is likely just from transporting Makoto, a careless paramedic perhaps.” She seems to realize her mistake by the fraction of growth in her pupils.

“You think a monster did this to Makoto?” He turns to Mulder, whose smirk falls into something sad.

“I’m not sure, but I don’t think a polar bear on the loose did this, no.”

This is the end of the line for Scully, who turns fully to Mulder. “Enough. I will not have you turning this tragedy into an X-File, Mulder, and I will not have you filling his head with ideas of monsters and little forest people behind every tree.” She fixes her eyes on Haru, who looks at his hands. “Haru, you’re hurting and looking for a reason for this, and I understand that. And I’m happy to have you along if you can promise to not go chasing shadows. Can you promise you will let us handle this?”

Haru nods, and while he knows he’s lying, he cannot drop this now. “I promise.”

“Good. Now that we’re done breaking protocol by even discussing this investigation with a civilian, how about Haru tells us about himself?”

Haru spends the next thirty minutes telling them about his life, about Makoto and the others as well. He knows he’s not really helping in this investigation but it makes him feel useful to tell them about Makoto, and about Chris and David. They seem to absorb the information, so maybe it does help to know who they were as people, and who Makoto is.

Eventually, they find themselves near the park. It’s eerie to see no one here, but he supposes it’s for the best that it’s closed. Haru is happy to be out stretching his legs once Mulder has turned off the vehicle, but his freedom is soon leashed with terms and conditions.

“Okay, huddle up!” Scully calls and Haru wants to whine petulantly but chooses to internalize it. “You,” She says, pointing at Haru, and he freezes momentarily like a deer in headlights, not even breathing. “You will stay between us at all times — I will take the front, Mulder will take the rear.” She continues, and Haru is suddenly dry in the mouth when she pulls out her gun, checking the bullets before holstering it again. “Haru I need you to tell me you understand — no nodding, no humming. I need to hear that you understand me clearly. You are not to wander off, you are to stay with us, and if you see or hear anything, you let us know immediately. And you!” She points her finger at Mulder, who freezes just like Haru. “I don’t want to hear a single word about faeries or cannibals in the forest or little gray men. If I hear you even think about it I'll make you wish for the bear.”

She takes a deep breath and waits for their confirmation. The two take a look at each other before nodding. “Yes ma’am.” They say in unison. Scully seems pleased because she takes point.

——————

Haru makes good on his word to stay with the agents, but their hypervigilance is making this take too long for Haru’s tastes. “So are you two partners? Like in the movies?” He asks, deftly hopping over a large fallen tree limb, looking up into the trees above to see where it fell from.

“Yeah, you could say that,” Mulder replies, nudging Haru along before Scully can notice Haru is lagging behind a little, the raven-haired boy quickly falling back into line. “We’ve worked on the X-Files together since she was placed there two years ago.”

Haru hums, wiping the sweat off his neck. It isn’t necessarily hot, in fact, the temperature is decent, but the hoodie is a bit much for his current activity. “Placed? So you didn’t choose to work together?”

The older man laughs, catching Haru’s arm when he almost trips over an unseen tree root on the forest floor. “Not at first, but we’re here now, so I suppose that counts for something.”

Haru is unsure how that makes him feel. Can he trust the people investigating his best friend’s situation - the boy he loves - when they aren’t even partners by choice? And what kind of investigation can they even do? Would it give him the vengeance he’s looking for?

Haru’s thoughts swirl as he contemplates his situation, and the rest of the journey passes in silence. In that time his phone vibrates every few minutes, which largely goes ignored aside from the one time he checks. He sees Gou’s name flashing on the screen before he pockets it. He knows everyone is looking for him, worried, but he can’t consider that right now. This is more important.

——————

The clearing is a mess, the scent of rot heavy in the air. Haru does his best to not gag.

“Watch where you step.” Mulder has a hand on his shoulder, pointing a few feet in front of them where dried blood can just barely be made out on the forest floor. “You gonna be okay?” he asks, and Haru nods in the affirmative, ignoring the nausea growing in his gut. A reassuring squeeze and the hand is gone.

The two agents get to work, and Haru follows silently. He mentally catalogs every little thing they do, down to the way Agent Scully takes such careful pictures with a camera, or how Agent Mulder touches the ground beneath him with his fingertips as if he can feel what happened here, like he can see it as if he were one of those self-proclaimed psychics that always manage to lure in tourists with promises of talking to their dead cat or the location of their grandmother’s fortune buried beneath the rose garden.

At times, if Haru listens closely, he can hear them whisper things to each other — he cannot make out their full conversation but from what he can discern from softly spoken words, neither Mulder nor Scully feel confident about the situation. For the most part, Haru is left to his own devices as they do their investigation with only very minimal interference from the two agents who always seem to manage to know right as Haru is toeing too far out of what they deem to be the safety zone.

The actual campsite itself is an absolute disaster. Dried blood has stained the ground in the most cursed way, as if some kind of ritualistic murder took place here. The tent, or what remains of it, is broken down and shredded to ribbons — if Haru tries hard, he can almost see and hear the bear tearing its way through the tent, can almost hear Makoto’s screaming as if it were being played back to him.

If Haru is honest with himself, he almost wishes he hadn’t come here. The feeling only increases when the eerie feeling of being watched by something other than Mulder and Scully takes over, but every time he looks around there’s nothing but trees and more trees.

The day passes like this — Haru does his best to not be a nuisance while pretending to be anywhere near emotionally stable enough to be there, ignores his phone every single time it vibrates in his pocket, and the agents actually do their jobs between bouts of bickering. The sun is just beginning to set when Mulder places his hand on Haru’s shoulder.

“Hey, kid. It’s time to head back.” He squeezes Haru’s shoulder when he nods.

“So what do you think?” Haru asks Mulder, already sensing that he’ll get much further asking him than he will asking Scully. He isn’t wrong in this assumption, it seems, when he hears her clear her throat.

“Unfortunately, we can’t discuss anything beyond what we have.”

“Why not?” He asks, a thousand complaints waiting on his tongue like well-trained missiles. He refuses to be kept in the dark about this, not when it could very well help Makoto.

“Policy. The Bureau would have our jobs and our heads if they knew we had included a civilian as far as we have.” She replies sternly, though not unkindly.

“The Bureau isn’t here.” He replies flatly. He is suddenly aware that he doesn’t have Makoto to translate his normal Haruspeak into a kinder version. He fears being misunderstood by these people who had been kind to him despite how he kind of forced his way into their investigation. Instead of the expected backlash, uproarious laughter from the other agent reaches his ears and cuts through the very near showdown between Haru and his partner.

“He’s got you there, Dana.” Haru opens his mouth to speak, to argue more, but Mulder instead pulls him in and reveals a small bag from his pocket. Inside a large, blood-encrusted bullet reflected in the slowly setting sunlight.

“A bullet?”

“Mulder-” she starts, a sour frown forming.

“Technically a cartridge, but yes.” he man starts, and he walks with an arm around Haru’s shoulder. “Your friends had some pretty heavy firepower with them, for people going on a camping trip.”

“Makoto doesn’t own a gun, he’s never even held one.”

“Oh, I’m sure he didn’t. We read his file, and Makoto Tachibana is such an upstanding citizen that he makes Jesus look absolutely sinful.” The man winks, putting the cartridge back into his pocket. “But his friends had guns, and big ones at that. And it leaves me with three big questions — where did they get the guns, and why did they have them in the first place?”

Haru swallows, ignoring Scully’s deep sighs of exasperation. “That’s only two questions.”

Mulder stops, making Haru stop with him. Haru can see in his piercing blue eyes that this isn’t just an ordinary open-and-shut case, that there’s more here than meets the eye. “What kind of bear survives a point-blank shot from not one but two rifles long enough to kill two people and hunt down a third?”

——————

When they get back to the car, an older man in a gray suit is leaning against it. His graying hair is neatly styled, and despite his outwardly grandfatherly appearance Haru immediately is set off by him. His blue eyes narrow, and he is just about to ask who he is himself when the man speaks instead.

“Mulder. Scully.” The man greets the agents as if he knows them, his eyes finally meeting Haru’s with a piercing look that makes Haru feel the man knows his very soul intimately. “Haruka Nanase.”

Mulder steps between them, shielding Haru from view but it doesn’t change the feeling in Haru’s core that he has been stripped bare effortlessly.

“What do you want?” Mulder asks, and Haru quietly looks over Mulder’s shoulder at the man, eyes wandering over him in the hope he can somehow secretly unveil some kind of secret information about the man. The stranger is a blank slate, a mystery he cannot unravel.

“To help, as always.” Silence follows, with Mulder and Scully sharing a look between them that leaves Haru wondering if somehow they share some kind of telepathic link like he and Makoto have always claimed to. “You’ll never find those boys or what little remains of them, abandon that quest now while you still have time. Makoto Tachibana was the only survivor of the attack.”

“How can you be sure?”

“Because I know, Agent Scully. Trust me, they’re lost, but there is more information to glean here than dried blood and overlooked ammunition.” He removes an envelope from his breast pocket, offering it to Mulder who takes it and opens it. He removes from it two slips of paper and three badges.

“Addresses? What are these?” Mulder questions.

“Leads to the truth, if that stifling basement of yours hasn’t choked your search for it out of you yet.”

Haru wants to ask real questions, like how this man knows anything about any of this, how they seem to be acquainted, but this seems to be the end of the conversation as the man steps back, opening the backdoor for Haru and holding it open. Haru steps to enter but is stopped.

“What happened here was horrible, but it wasn’t an accident. Keep your friends close, Haruka Nanase, and remain open-minded.” A hand gently pushes him into his seat, shutting the door behind him carefully. This time Scully takes the wheel, and Haru carefully watches the stranger as they pull away from the parking lot. The stranger watches him back.

“Mulder, what did he give you?” She asks after a few minutes of silence, and he reads off an address to her. Haru is still looking out the window when a badge drops into his lap. His own face looks back at him on its plastic surface, and the name on it reads not as Haruka Nanase but Adrien Saitou. The badge looks like an official government one, and his questioning gaze meets Mulder’s over the backseat.

“Well Agent Saitou, looks like you’re one of us now.” Mulder tells him playfully, and the car slows to a stop almost immediately. Scully seems ready to launch into a thousand-and-one tirades about how he absolutely is not, but Haru interrupts her.

“Who was that man, and how did he get this? They seem almost real.” The words tumble out, as if he can’t get them out quickly enough. “And how did he know me? How does he know any of this?”

“I don’t know who he really is, but he goes by Deep Throat. And it looks real because it is real. I imagine it will get us where we need to go tonight with no questions asked if you do exactly what we do.” He holds his hand up to Scully who is just about to interrupt herself, but instead narrows her eyes dangerously. “He is coming, Scully. Deep Throat wouldn’t have handed us a badge for the kid if he wasn’t supposed to come along, There is something he wants the three of us to see, to solve.” He turns back to Haru. “And I imagine he knows you because he’s had his eye on you since this happened. The same for the rest of your friends, maybe even Makoto’s nurses or even his kindergarten teacher for that matter.”

“And if he’s sending us into a firefight to finally be rid of a loose end? We can’t risk Haru’s safety any more than we already have, Mulder! This whole thing has been irresponsible of us.” The redhead argues, hands gripping the steering wheel tightly.

“Deepthroat is many things, but I have no reason to believe he would risk a child’s life.” Haru wants to argue that he’s not a child but a grown man, but he swallows it instead of verbalizing it. “Scully,” Mulder continues. “He’s never led us astray before. This could be the lead we need.”

Haru watches the two agents stare down at each other, overwhelmed by the deluge of information, his discomfort at the idea of not only himself but his friends being known. Deep Throat’s warning to him replays in his head, and he almost wants to beg to be taken home knowing Scully would do it without question, but instead, Haru hardens himself. “Okay. Let’s go.” He chooses to interrupt the two, jaw set. “If this can help Makoto, we have to figure it out. Together.”

Mulder’s shit-eating smirk could burn out the sun as he raises his chin impishly at Scully, wagging his eyebrows. “You heard Agent Saitou, pedal to the metal.”

——————

Two hours later, Haru stands outside the Takao police station with his arms crossed. He wears a relatively new black suit that fits him quite well despite Scully picking it off the rack of a used clothing store, his not-fake fake badge clipped to his chest. He is displeased about the situation, not just because of the claustrophobically tight tie but also because apparently Agent Adrien Saitou is mute from a terrible accident in early boyhood and he cannot ask questions, according to Scully, who, despite her desire to play it all by the book, came up with his entire backstory on the fly. He is scratching at his neck and trying to not be suspicious when the two actual agents appear with a relatively young police officer, her badge reading the surname Ikeda.

“Oh you were right, he looks really young,” she states, looking down at Haru with the several inches of height she has on him. He scowls, opening his mouth to say something snarky but stops when he all but hears Makoto’s voice telling him to please be polite.

“Yes, Adrien is one of the youngest agents we’ve ever had. This is his first real assignment so he is shadowing us,” Scully provides, her tone somehow managing both effortless politeness but also the promise of another lecture if he does not comply. Haru chooses his battles wisely and simply nods.

Fortunately, the officer takes it, and Mulder speaks up. “Officer Ikeda just informed us the vehicle the Takao mountain victims came in is ready for us to look over,” Mulder provides as if Haru had already known this all along, and Haru plays along with a raised brow and a nod. The helpful officer leads the way to the impound garage, and Haru is relieved to find that all three badges work when all three must scan to enter the room.

“Deep Throat definitely has connections,” Haru notes to himself.

Officer Ikeda leaves them alone to their investigation, the slamming of the door in the cold garage sending chills down his spine.

The jeep belonging to Chris and David is in shambles. Dried blood stains the formerly tan metal an ugly deep red. Large, razor-sharp claws have torn pieces of the body out completely, and the tires have been slashed, likely by those same claws. The driver-side door is left leaning against the vehicle where it has been torn clean off, where the animal had been so desperate to reach Makoto inside.

Haru wants to hurl. His stomach flips and rage fills his very being, white hot, but he holds himself together. “How can a bear do this?” he asks, stepping closer.

Scully answers. “Bears are immensely powerful animals, sometimes even deceptively so, and polar bears are the most powerful of all extant species. It’s…possible that one could do this kind of damage.” She steps closer, peaking into the vehicle with a flashlight in her hand. “The vehicle isn’t a tank by any means, and from reports, Joar is on the larger end of the spectrum for his species. That with his aggression and drive to expand his territory, I would say…” she stops when she looks over at Haru, eyes softening when she takes in the disgusted look on his face. “I apologize. Haru you should let us take you home, we can come back-”

“No,” he says, holding out his hand for her flashlight. “Thank you, but I have to do this. I have to know.” The silence that follows is deafening, and she relents by handing over her flashlight and a pair of gloves.

“Be mindful of what you’re looking for and that you don’t leave any kind of DNA. Mulder’s contact says this is deeper than we know, and I am inclined to believe at least that much,” she offers in the way of advice, and he rolls the gloves on with a snap.

The time passes this way, the three of them picking over the vehicle. He can tell, even with his inexperience, that people have already looked over it, that what is left is likely nothing. Or at least he thinks so until he moves his attention from the actual jeep to the door that had been torn away from it, turning it over so that he can see the outside of it.

“Mulder! Scully!” He calls to the agents, their attention both immediately jumping to him as they rush over. “You have to see this.”

Haru hands over the flashlight to shine on the door, and what is revealed chills Haru straight to his core. Instead of the paw of a polar bear, a massive, almost humanoid impression of a handprint from the near middle of the door frame to where the window once was can be clearly seen, the impression of fingers clearly curving over the window frame where steel and leather were bent and torn from the force of a hand grabbing the door to tear it off.

“Wow...” Mulder whistles, gloved fingers circling a hole where the claw of a thumb had penetrated the steel door.

Haru feels faint, sick, with the way Scully hovers her fingers just over the dent, spreading out her fingers to compare the size of her hand to it. It’s like comparing a baby’s hand to Bigfoot. His attention is soon drawn elsewhere. “Guys, I need…do you have tweezers or something?” He asks, looking inside the door as his gloved fingers pick at ruined leather. Mulder hands over pliers left on a shelf nearby, and within seconds Haru uncovers his treasure. Picked from the door, a claw is revealed to the light of Scully’s flashlight. “Is this a bear claw?” He asks, eyes taking in the sight.

Scully shakes her head in the negative, taking a closer look. “Bear claws are smaller, and have a more defined hook shape, this is…” The claw itself is long, lacking the full hook shape of a bear claw. Scully seems to want to say more, but her mouth settles into a thin line, displeased line. She proceeds to summon a plastic bag from nowhere, and Haru drops it inside. She hands the bag to Mulder who tucks it away for safekeeping. He is shaken to his core. They take as many pictures as possible, and when they conclude there is nothing left, they leave the station with their heartfelt thanks to Officer Ikeda in the lobby.

They do not discuss the car or the door further, despite Haru’s attempts.

——————

“Am I like… an actual special agent now?” Haru asks, looking out the window at the passing people on the sidewalks, the rain slowly tapping on the glass. They’re parked across the street from the most conspicuously inconspicuous building Haru has ever seen in his life. There are no guards, no windows, and only a small parking lot with a gray metal door as its only obvious entrance.

He feels like a special agent, and if it weren’t for his now hundreds of unanswered calls and texts, he would be absolutely certain everyone would love to hear about it later, especially Nagisa. He’s sure his friends will be thrilled to hear about his day.

“Absolutely not!”

Haru frowns, but catches the sly smirk Mulder gives him in the mirror.

“Mulder says I am.”

Scully turns in her seat to give him a withering look. “Well, Mulder also says our last case was a boogeyman.”

“White Lady, Dana. A white lady. I was also right.”

It’s now Mulder’s turn to receive her unimpressed glare. “Where was the evidence, then? Because I never saw anything, and there were no bodies.”

“Because she wasn’t looking for vengeance against women, she was only after men.”

“If that’s the case, then explain the lack of bodies. Because when I had to explain to Skinner the lack of evidence and the use of Bureau time and resources for nothing-”

Haru sighs and rolls his eyes. Something about them reminds him of the way he and Rin bicker. “I hate to interrupt another argument, but are we going to go in there?” He asks, pointing at the totally not ominous building, his hand coming between them like he could cut through the tension physically. Luckily this stops the fight in its tracks.

“We are. For now, though, we’re waiting until nightfall.”

The silence hangs between them, his question of why left unspoken. Scully takes this moment to turn and offer him a much softer expression.

“Why don’t you get some rest? I’m sure you haven’t had a lot lately, and these kinds of things take time and there’s no reason for all of us to suffer from exhaustion.” Before he can argue, she holds up a pacifying hand. “We’ll wake you before we go in. Scout’s honor.”

Haru chooses to believe her, and not because the entirety of his soul is suddenly reminded of everything that has happened in the last few days and how downtrodden and exhausted he is. He chooses to lay back against the window to feel the cold of the rain coming down, to almost feel the water against his skin through cold glass.

What small amount of rest he gets is dreamless, a void of darkness where he normally dreams of Makoto, their friends, or even the water. Now there’s nothing there, and even in his subconscious, it makes him uneasy and restless. When he wakes it’s to Scully’s hand shaking his knees, pulling him from that endless void immediately. Her blazer, placed over his torso carefully while he slept, falls into his lap as he jumps straight into being alert.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay, Haru, just breathe.” She leans further over the back of her seat, meeting his gaze with her own. He hadn’t realized he had panicked momentarily until he felt the ache in his fingers from how he had gripped the seats beneath him, nails pressing into leather almost painfully.

“Sorry,… rough dreams,” he offers as apology and explanation, blinking the sleep from his eyes.

Her answering smile is sad, infinitely filled with kindness. “I can imagine. I hope we can provide you and your loved ones justice, so that you can begin to heal.” Haru can tell she means what she says, and he wants to thank her for it or something, anything besides his usual painful silence that one of his other friends would have normally filled for him, but before Haru can he realizes a change in their company that steals the moment — Mulder is missing. He looks from the empty seat to Scully, questions hanging between them.

“He’s checking around the outside of the building. Wanna step out and stretch before we meet up to head inside?”

Haru gratefully nods his approval of the idea, handing the elder her blazer back. The sky is dark, the rain falling only slightly now. Lightning streaks across the sky though, followed by booming thunder, and watching the display above him awakens that deep longing within Haru. He had never been able to explain it verbally to anyone, not even to Makoto, but for one word — free .

The street is dead quiet, empty. This isn’t quite a residential area, and those walking late at night would likely avoid it. “You know, this is the perfect place for something off the books to be happening,” he says, face still lifted to the night sky.

This makes the redhead laugh. “You think so?” She asks, arms crossed over her chest as she looks up too. “Do you like the rain?”

Haru nods. “Mhm. Water, storms. A lot of people are afraid of water, or hate storms because it’s a reminder of how little control they have, but to me…” he grasps for the words, eyes falling shut when droplets roll off his face and down his neck. It isn’t nearly enough, but it makes him feel less shaky. “To me it’s safe.”

She seems to accept his answer and gives him a thoughtful hum in a wordless reply.

“Is this your first time out of the States?” he asks after a bit more silence. Normally he didn’t mind not speaking much, or maybe it was because he always let Makoto do all the talking and now without it, he isn’t sure what to do but ask questions to make his absence feel less.

“Not really, but this is honestly a first. Assignment-wise, that is.” She seems to know that he’s going to ask why and beats him to it. “We weren’t…exactly meant to be overseeing this investigation. Somewhere along the way, though, someone I can only imagine to be high on the totem pole requested us by name. Requested the X-Files personally.”

Haru wished he could say it was weird, but his experience with this kind of thing was solely limited to manga borrowed from Makoto or shows he had only watched to pass the time. “Guess that means someone somewhere thinks you’re good at your jobs.”

Before she can reply, Mulder appears from the shadows as if he had spawned in. He’s grinning, pure excitement shining in his eyes. “Checked the entire perimeter. No cameras, no windows, no other entrances. There’s only the front doors.” He grins in a way that can only be described as pure wickedness. “Shall we enter?”

Scully rolls her eyes, turning to Haru. “Same policy as always. Stay with us, touch nothing. If anything happens, don't be a hero.” With that, she leads the procession across the street. At the door, Mulder produces his gifted keycard and swipes on the reader mounted on the building. The little light flashes green, and the door unlocks.

Just as he’s about to enter behind Scully, who insists upon scoping out the entrance herself, the hair on the back of Haru’s neck stands on end, the feeling of being seen taking over once again. Of being watched by someone. Immediately his eyes come to rest on the rooftops across the street as if led there by instinct, and momentarily his tired eyes seem to catch a flurry of movement. When they adjust, there is nothing there, but he cannot shake the feeling that there absolutely had been.

“Haru?” Mulder asks, hand resting on the younger’s shoulder. “You okay?”

“I think… I think we’re being watched.” He nods at the rooftop where empty space is left. Mulder nods, squeezing his shoulder.

“I know. Just…take this.” Immediately Haru wants to recoil because the cold metal of a gun is pressed into his hand.

“I don’t think I should, Mulder.”

“Just for safety. Aim and press the trigger if any crazed maniacs come barreling out of the darkness at you.” The words are meant to be an attempt at a joke, but Haru cannot shake the wrongness of what he had felt enough to take it as such. Mulder takes the gun and tucks it in the back of Haru’s pants in his waistband, letting the jacket cover the bulge of it. “If you don’t have to use it then there’s no harm done, but there is harm in not being prepared to defend yourself.”

With that, Mulder turns Haru by the shoulders and pushes him through the doorway, following behind.

——————

The entrance is meant to be a waiting area, but it is devoid of any life. There’s no seating or other furniture and the front desk has no computers where receptionists would sit. Where a normal wooden door would be, a massive steel door sits closed.

Haru feels the need to leave this place immediately and never return, but he stomps out the fear beginning to build a campfire in his gut until there’s nothing more than ash and smoke. For Makoto, he tells himself. Makoto, who had always faced his fears for Haru, albeit with some minor complaint and clutching him for dear life. Makoto, who was lying in a hospital bed hanging onto life by a thread.

“Well, this isn’t creepy at all,” Mulder says, vibrating with the mystery of it all. Haru can feel Scully’s eye roll like a physical force even with her back to them. Their flashlights do nothing to ease the creepy factor for Haru, who is normally unfazed by anything remotely scary.

It quickly becomes clear the door won’t be budged, so Haru cleverly chooses to hop over what would be the reception desk, trying his best to look cool in the process. It gets him a stern look of disapproval from Scully, but luckily he dodges the bullet of a lecture from her this time. In the would-be reception area, they find a normal door like you would expect in an office area, a pale white one with that metallic gray door knob every office ever has.

“Doesn’t a door here kind of defeat the purpose of… that?” Haru asked, leaning back over the counter to point at the bank vault looking door.

“You would think so.” Mulder grunts, producing a lockpick from his pocket. It takes the man little effort from that point, and the door swings open once unlocked. The trio file out neatly into a dead silent hallway. The walls and floor are a pristine white, not a speck of dirt. “Is this meant to be a hospital?” he whispers.

“Seems like it. Maybe a clinic meant to be opened up soon?” Mulder offers, but Scully shakes her head.

“Why would a clinic have doors like these?” she asks, her flashlight falling onto another steel door to their immediate right. This door is just like the other in the reception area. Clearly, the door is thick, but as if that weren’t enough, equally thick steel beams are fitted into what is meant to be some kind of fancy locking mechanism. A closed slot in the door immediately seems to Haru like a food hatch complete with a sliding door. He immediately shines his flashlight behind the trio at the massive steel door they couldn’t open to find that it too is bolted shut, and then down the seemingly endless halfway. The same doors line the hall as far as the light will reach. The same steel doors, barred shut from the outside with closed food hatches.

“Guys… do these kind of seem like vaults to you?” he asks, his body immediately moving closer to Mulder and Scully as if on autopilot.

“What in the hell is this place?”

“Mulder, language.”

“Sorry, mom. Swear jar?”

She scoffs quietly, and Haru moves around her. He goes to reach for the slot, only to have his hand caught by her. “Haru, we agreed not to touch.”

“There could be something in there. In all of these,” he whisper-argues, but still, she does not release him. “Listen, that old man gave us this location for a reason, right? We aren’t trespassing just to stare at a door.”

She looks to Mulder, who shrugs. “Kid’s got balls of steel, Scully.”

“Fine… okay, just, be careful,” she relents, though not without that sour look Haru is quickly growing accustomed to. Haru nods and turns back to the closed food hatch just as he hears a gun drawn and aimed at the slot. Without hesitation, he opens it and immediately regrets the loud echo that sounds from metal that hasn’t been moved seemingly in ages scraping against itself. The other two clearly feel the same, if their expressions say anything.

Haru flashes his light into the slot, expecting some kind of serial killer or mutant to attack and maul his face. But there’s nothing. No one. Inside though, is a wall with shackles, a cot in the corner, and seemingly no source of light beyond what is in his hand.

“What the fuck?” Haru whispers, his brain just not making sense of it.

“Haru? What is it?” Scully asks, stepping forward.

“Hey, why doesn’t he get swear-jarred?” Mulder goes ignored by her as steps up to the slot to look inside. When she turns back to face them, her face is pale.

“Mulder, this is a cell.” The two agents seemingly communicate telepathically before they begin going to other cells, Haru following silently. Each one is the same — the opened food hatches reveal the exact same wall of chains and cot combo. Dozens of them. Haru feels sick to his stomach by the time they reach the end of the hall where two normal wooden doors stand, horrified about the idea of some faceless person imprisoning people in a cold, dead place like this.

The trio, upon passing through those doors, come to a fork. To the left, a closed door with a window in it reveals a meeting room. The room is furnished with a round table, a whiteboard with no writing, and high-backed leather chairs. It’s unused but is ready to be by whoever is running this roadside horror show.

To the right, Haru and the agents find themselves in what is meant to be a morgue. It’s cold, though thankfully lit with that unforgiving hospital lighting, and state-of-the-art medical equipment can be found everywhere. All of this pales in comparison to what is laid on an operating table.

Joar, the beast that had butchered his friends and had nearly taken Makoto too, lays dead on an operating table in the frigid room.

Haru is frozen to the spot, unable to move or think, heart beating in his ears like thunder. It’s anticlimactic, in a way, to Haru. He had pictured himself hunting Joar through the mountains, chasing the monster to the edge of the world, and shooting him dead. But now even that was taken from him. How can he avenge Makoto now, if the monster that had hurt him was already dead?

“It’s not possible. I don’t understand,” he whispers, ignoring the whispered words between the two adults. He steps closer, walking around the giant mass of the polar bear to face it, to spit in its face and desecrate it the way he had decided it deserved. What he finds isn’t a bear that has been shot dead but instead, an animal that has been mutilated beyond recognition. Not the wounds of a knife made by a boy desperate to get back home or two young men emptying a truckload of ammunition into it.

“Dear God…” Scully whispers, pulling Haru away from the corpse with protective arms. “Is this the bear? Haru, stand back please.” She immediately sets herself to work looking over it as she gently pushes a numb Haru into Mulder’s arms, yet another pair of disposable gloves procured from her pocket snapping over her wrists. “It’s been… torn apart by something. Right leg has been bitten off? No, ripped clean off. Internal organs are pretty much missing entirely… the spine has broken with great force but it fought before that.” It feels like hours pass this way, with Scully all but performing an autopsy over the animal without actually cutting into it, speaking to herself in barely whispered words and clipped sentences. She moves around it, snapping pictures of everything with calculated and methodical interest. Eventually, she steps back, turning to her companions.

“Well, doc? What’s science got to explain about this one?” Mulder asks, and though his words are meant to be humorous his tone lacks it.

“I’m not a veterinarian, Mulder, but I am a doctor, and from what I can tell you,” She looks back over her shoulder at the dead animal. “This bear wasn’t killed by people, in fact, there’s not a single gunshot wound on this animal.”

“That’s impossible. There were bullets, blood.” Haru cuts in, eyebrows furrowing in frustration.

“Exactly, but look at this. Here and here.” She shows them various places, including where the bear’s broken spine can be seen through missing flesh where something had taken a huge chunk out of it. She also shows them various slashes and bite marks where it had fought and lost horribly. “This animal wasn’t shot, nor was it killed by gunshots.” She sighs, removing her gloves and stuffing them in her pocket. “Something attacked it, they fought, but the bear was overpowered by the stronger of the two. Whatever attacked it ripped its leg off, broke its spine, and then ate it alive. This is the series of events I can map out in my head.” She points out each of her conclusions by showing them various parts of the animal and ways in which it was made to suffer before it died.

Haru wants to scream, to throw something. To tear and smash and break until this knot in his stomach releases. “I don’t understand. It killed Chris and David. It attacked Makoto…” It’s slowly becoming clear to Haru that Joar didn’t do this, that while he may have hurt people to escape, this animal wasn’t what hurt Makoto and the others in the woods.

“We only thought it did, but Chris and David shot at their killer, and this poor animal has not a single gunshot.” Scully finally says after a few minutes of silence. “Haru, Mulder…this bear didn’t kill Chris and David, nor did it attack Makoto.”

It’s Mulder that breaks the silence. “Why would Deep Throat send us on a wild goose chase over an animal that’s already dead, that didn’t do this?” He sounds angry, also on the verge of snapping just like Haru.

It occurs to Haru after a moment, and he turns to Mulder. “The claw. The claw we found in the door. Give it to me.” He can hear Makoto in his head pleading with him to be polite, to not just demand things, but he ignores it as that massive claw is carefully placed into his hand. He steps into the light, taking hold of the remaining front paw of the poor animal to compare the two. The difference is night and day — for one, the bear has all five claws, but they’re black and shorter, whereas the one in his hand is longer and paler. Almost like a human nail would be, but inhumanly long and sharpened to a point.

“It wasn’t about the bear,” Haru says finally, handing the claw off to Mulder who steps closer, investigating the paw and comparing it to the bagged one they have. Haru feels out of breath, like this is the final confirmation he needed that this is so much more than he thought. “Scully’s right. Whatever did this wasn’t a bear. I think…this bear is a distraction, and that’s what your friend is trying to tell us.” He choked on the last part, feeling bile threatening to spill from his throat.

“Okay, this is enough. We need to leave.” Scully says firmly, and for once Mulder doesn’t argue or offer some witty one-liner. They leave in frustrated silence after Scully takes quick samples from the bear for testing.

——————

SATURDAY, APRIL 14TH, 2023 — 3:00 AM.

Mulder and Scully pull up to his apartment building, a bag of mackerel stuffed full by Mulder as payment for his time, and thankfully changed back into his own clothes which are much less restrictive. The gun is  returned to the care of Mulder while Scully’s back is turned. It isn’t until now that Haru remembers the hell he’s going to pay for ignoring all of the calls and texts all day. He winces at the thought, considering asking for more investigations, but Scully beats him to speaking first, though.

“You did really good work today, Haru. You stayed calm, did what was asked of you, and gave us real help on this case that I honestly didn’t expect to receive at first. You should be proud of yourself for that.” Despite the downright shit situation, he finds himself all but preening under her praises.

“Does that mean this isn’t the end of the road?” What he really means to say is that he hopes they won’t disappear into the wind, that they’ll let him help again. That he won’t just hear about the end of this story on the news.

Scully seems apprehensive, but Mulder steps in. “We’re in this together. We’re only getting started, and we’ll need the help of a skilled guide, and you have vengeance to unleash. Remember?” That charming smirk of his is back, arm resting on the back of his seat as he looks at Haru.

Haru cracks a grin, though he tries to hide it by turning his head to look away.

“Haru,” Scully begins, ever the pragmatic one. He expects to have to argue, but instead, she surprises him. “If we’re going to do this, you have to swear to not tell anyone anything. Something is happening here, and if that building is anything to go by someone is quietly trying to hide the truth. You have to swear, keep this between us.”

Haru’s answer is immediate. “I promise.” He isn’t sure he can truly keep it, not something this big from his friends, but he can tell she needs it if she’s going to consent to him being involved.

She nods. “Okay, well then, we’ll be in touch. We’ll need a few days, so just be aware that this will take time.”

“Our hotel isn’t very far, so you can find us there if you need us.” Mulder adds, holding his fist out to Haru. He returns it with a grin. After a few more pleasantries, Haru exits the vehicle and begins the death march back to his apartment. He almost believes it will be empty but that hope is cruelly smashed when he sees all the lights on.

Haru curses under his breath, and he doesn’t even get the key in the lock when the door is thrown open. A hand, with much greater strength than it should have, grabs Haru by the collar and pulls him inside, pushing him against the wall with enough force that Haru sees stars.

“Where. The. Fuck. Have. You. Been?”

Rin Matsuoka is righteous fury, red-rimmed eyes blazing with fire that Haru has never seen in all the time he’s known Rin, not the fire at the promise of a race or when he’s edging Haru on to meet him at the world stage. He looks almost out of his mind with anger, so much so that not even Sousuke is enough to pull him off Haru, and Nagisa’s cries of fear fall on deaf ears.

“Answer me! Where have you been!”

“I was… out,” is all Haru can muster.

Rin bristles like an incensed cat. “Y-You! Out!? That’s all you have to say for yourself!? I’m going to fry you alive, you…you fish fucking asshole!” This is the first time Haru has ever been afraid of Rin in his life, and only the combined efforts of Asahi, Seijuro, and Sousuke are enough to save Haru from his wrath, but even then they seem to struggle to hold him back.

Nagisa, bless his soul, puts himself between the two of them as if he weighed more than one hundred pounds soaking wet with anchors attached to his feet.

“Haru, we’ve been worried sick. We’ve been looking everywhere for you, calling and texting, and you just…” Nagisa seems seconds from his own breakdown, his eyes trembling and near overflowing from the emotions he’s barely containing. Haru realizes Nagisa is shaking so badly that he can physically feel it in his feet through the floor. For the first time in a very long time, Haru wraps Nagisa in a hug as if his very being can stop the tremors, but it just breaks the dam holding it all in.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know. My phone’s service has been really bad and I couldn’t stay in the hospital anymore, so I just decided to spend the day alone. I didn’t think anyone would care.”

“That’s bullshit!” Rin explodes, fists clenched so tightly at his sides they’re shaking. “It’s three in the morning, Haru! Where could you have possibly been that kept you out all night!? What makes you think none of us would worry!?”

Haru winces, looking anywhere else. His eyes land on Kisumi who is standing in the corner, alone, with his arms wrapped around himself. “It’s okay, Haru. Rin’s just really upset right now but you can tell us.” Kisumi offers in way of an olive branch in that candy-like sweet voice of his, and Haru tightens his hold on Nagisa who is still crying into his chest.

“I went to the forest.”

If Haru thought Rin was angry before, he’s seeing red now. He’s so angry that his face goes a deep red as if his blood is boiling in his veins.

“Haru, you didn’t!” Gou gasps from her spot on his couch, stunned, hands over her mouth.

“You idiot! You selfish prick!” Rin screeches and Haru is genuinely worried Rin might pop a blood vessel, or worse, get him kicked out of his apartment. “Our friends were killed there not a week ago, Makoto is lying in a hospital bed in a coma, lucky to even still be here, and you… What the fuck is wrong with you, Haru!?”

It’s Haru’s turn to bristle, eyes narrowing in anger at Rin’s words. People have always said something was wrong with him, muttered words in corners about how he was broken or defective just because he was different . It was something that always bothered Haru even if he pretended otherwise. “There’s nothing wrong with me.”

“Bullshit! You have a death wish!”

“Rin, that’s enough. You need to calm down. I’m sure Haruka has a good explanation for why he did what he did.” Seijuro interjects, stepping between them.

“It’s far from enough, in fact, I should kick his ass! We lost Chris and David, and Makoto isn’t even in the clear, and Haru is off dicking around in the woods where it all went down!” Rin spits, glaring daggers at Haru from around Seijuro’s shoulder. “What, you think we haven’t lost enough? Is that it? This isn’t a movie or an anime or one of those fanfictions you pretend you don’t read! This is real life and you could have died!”

“I just needed to see-”

“No, you didn’t! You didn’t need to see a damn thing! There’s nothing there anyone needs to see!”

Haru sighs, moving to release Nagisa who only clings to him even tighter. He whispers a few soothing words before eventually getting him to let go, gently handing him off to Rei, who Nagisa clings to.

“Rin…” Haru begins, reaching for his friend just to have his hands slapped away several times. It doesn’t stop Haru though, and eventually, he gets Rin into a loose hug. “I’m sorry, I am. I just…I had to see, Rin. I couldn’t let it go until I saw it.”

“You didn’t need…you…there was nothing…” Rin is beginning to break down into real sobs now, his fury finally melting into grief now that Haru is holding him. Grief for Chris and David and the friendship they had built during their time together in Australia, for Makoto who may never wake up, for Haru, for his own father who was taken from him. His grief pours out like a glass turned upside down, and soon everyone in his living room is crying. Too much grief and fear and nowhere to put it down.

“You could have died,” Rin cries into his neck, tears and snot ruining Makoto’s hoodie. Haru doesn’t mind it, in fact, he would take it a thousand times over all that’s happened. He would take daily Rin cursings if it meant all of this had never happened.

“It wasn’t a death wish, Rin. I was just…”

“Haruka, you may not have meant it to be, but Rin is right. As we speak two people we love are dead, Makoto is gravely injured, and dozens more are no better off.” Rei interrupts, cool and collected. “And the animal that did it is still roaming the mountains. What would Makoto say, if he knew what you had done?”

Haru wants to argue that he had begged Makoto to not go in the first place, that Makoto hadn’t listened, and therefore didn’t reserve the right to lord over Haru in judgment over his choices, but he didn’t dare to speak the words. Above that he wants to just blurt out all that he had truly done, how the bear hadn’t done this, and that there was more going on here than meets the eye, but from the looks of hurt and anger and sadness and even relief he’s receiving from his friends he decides against that, too. He doubts anyone would believe him, anyway.

“I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.” He holds Rin tight, letting his friend crush him in his grip. “I wasn’t even thinking, I just did it,” he sighs, shoulders sagging. “You all shouldn’t have worried so much though, I wish you hadn’t.”

“Well, luckily, you don’t get paid to make that call.” Ikuya pipes up, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. “Don’t ever do that to us again. I mean it.” Haru nods, unwilling to discover the ‘or else’ portion that Ikuya left unspoken.

——————

Later on, they all lay together in the now too-cramped space of Haru’s living room, almost everyone asleep but himself, Nagisa, and Rin. It’s no different than a bunch of puppies piled together, but instead of exhaustion brought on by a long day of playing it was exhaustion brought on by anxiety and grief, and it was all Haru’s fault, a guilt he cannot shake no matter what his intentions had been. They’re halfway through the extended edition of Fellowship of the Ring on the brand new television Asahi had purchased for him out of his own paycheck when Haru realizes he’s silently crying. Hot tears spill down his cheeks, a feeling he’d grown too accustomed to these past few days after years of swallowing his tears. Now awakened from their long-dormant state, his tear ducts were content to make up for lost time.

“Haru?” Rin whispers, noticing Haru wiping his face with his sleeve, voice just barely loud enough to be heard over the sounds of fantastical journeys and ring-bearing. Of course, nothing was ever too subtle for Nagisa, who happened to have the ears of a bat and the eyes of a hawk no matter the situation. He echoed the same softly, concern in his eyes and voice.

Haru didn’t reply at first, only drawing their concern more.

“Haru, what is it?” Rin asked, turning his torso toward him.

Haru shakes his head in refusal, looking down at his hands that have somehow joined with Nagisa’s without his knowledge.

“You can tell us, Haru. I know it’s hard but you can.” Nagisa whispers, squeezing his friend’s hands in an attempt to comfort him. “You don’t gotta hold it in. Isn’t that right, Rin?” The blonde asks, turning to Rin for backup.

“Yeah. You can tell us anything. We won’t be mad or judge you.”

“You were mad.” It’s a guilty, almost childlike whisper because he is guilty and he has been absolutely childish. “You said there was something wrong with me…” Haru doesn’t know how to say Rin had hurt him too, doesn’t feel he deserves to feel hurt anyway.

Rin frowns, and somehow he manages to look just as guilty as Haru feels. “I’m sorry Haru, I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did earlier. I was just…I love you, and I was so scared something had happened to you. But I was completely out of line, and I’m sorry.” Tears are already building in Rin’s eyes, another pang of guilt that drives deep into Haru’s gut. Guilt because he loves Rin too, and he had selfishly hurt him and all of his other friends in the pursuit of something that left him with more questions than answers. A year ago Hiyori had told him that everyone who swam with him ended up suffering, and even though their relationship had improved by leagues and the other had become a genuine friend to him, sometimes Haru still wondered if it was true. This was one of those moments. “There’s nothing wrong with you. Not a damn thing, and I’m a giant asshole for even saying that. I’m so sorry.”

Nagisa isn’t standing for any of it, though. Not for Haru’s pathetic inner monologue that must be transcribing itself across his face, and not for Rin’s tears either. “That’s enough. Both of you did things that you shouldn’t have done, and you’re never gonna do it again,” he almost viciously whisper-yells, and it makes Asahi snort in his sleep where he lays at their feet on his futon, arm slapping over Ikuya’s heavily covered form approximately right where his head should be. The boy does not move an inch. “We’re here, together, and that’s all that matters. Being together and staying together is more important than any of that other stuff.” Nagisa’s words were passionately spoken, taking both of his friend’s hands into his own as if he could make them both really hear him better by holding them.

Something in those words seemed to break some kind of glass ceiling for Haru, blue eyes wide and filled with tears but pulled out his head. Because Nagisa is right — this family he had found needed each other. If they had each other, they could make it through anything. Nagisa releases Haru’s hand to wipe at his tears, a kind smile on his face. “Tell us what’s going on in there, Haru.” He pokes Haru’s forehead with a tear-dampened finger.

Haru bites his lip, his gaze going back to his television to watch the horrors of Moria unfold. He knows he can trust his friends with this, but should they really be burdened with this information?

“C’mon Haru. I’ll tell you something super embarrassing about Sousuke.” Rin offers, nudging him with a wicked shark-toothed grin.

“Yeah, Haru. Don’t you want ammo for your war against the straightest gay man that ever lived?” Nagisa chimes in, waggling his eyebrows comically at the mention of one of their group’s long-running jokes. It makes Rin snort and Haru roll his watery, red-rimmed eyes, watching the sleeping form of Sousuke with his pink-haired sleeping demon daintily draped across his broad lap and chest. Nagisa had always been good at finding those perfect moments to lighten the mood even a fraction. Lately, Haru has come to appreciate it more than ever before.

“I…” He knows he’s about to break a promise to these strangers he just met, but who are they in the face of his friends? His family? They’re only small seashells in the ocean of time and history he has with the only people in his life who truly matter. “I saw things today, things that terrified me. Made me…” He fumbles for the words, flexing his fingers in stress. “Made me question a lot of things. Things that I thought were real? Or true, I mean.”

Nagisa casts a worried glance at Rin, fear twinkling in his eyes. He can almost hear some kind of psychic conversation between them along the lines of “Is Haru having a mental breakdown right now?”

“Like what, Haru? Was it the bear?”

Haru shakes his head. “The bear is dead,” he whispers, trying to ignore the way Rin and Nagisa’s eyes seem to burn into him. “I can’t tell you how I know yet, but it’s dead. I saw it.” The words are like a flood, already some small relief from not hiding it just to himself. “It’s dead, and whatever killed it is what killed Chris and David, and what did this to Makoto.”

Rin’s intake of breath draws Haru’s attention.

“What?” Rin asks, hand resting on Haru’s knee. Haru has always been so turned off by being touched by others, but the warm touch of Rin’s skin on his is exactly what Haru needs.

“I need you to believe me, please believe me,” Haru asks, almost desperately, feeling as if he could cry without their belief. He looks from Rin to Nagisa, hoping against the odds that they don’t have him committed immediately. “I’m not making it up because I can’t accept reality, this isn’t a mental break. I’m telling the truth. It wasn’t…a bear didn’t do this.”

Nagisa is stunned, mouth opened into a partial o-shape. After a short silence, it’s Rin who speaks first. “I believe you, Haru.” The relief that floods Haru is better than any mackerel he’s ever had in his life.

“So do I,” Nagisa replies and Haru can tell it isn’t some attempt at placating his friend long enough to call an ambulance to take him away. “But you said you just went to the forest…” He is clearly posing a question here, and Haru’s guilt begins to build up again in his stomach.

“I wasn’t exactly honest earlier.” He begins, body tensing between his friends who have moved closer and formed a little huddle on each side of his body. “There are these two people from America investigating, I met them at the hospital today. I tagged along with them. We found evidence, and we found the bear’s corpse.” He purposely leaves out the exact findings, as well as the circumstances surrounding their run-in with the remains of the animal. He supposes at least some loyalty to the agents should stand here, considering. For now at least. “So I wasn’t really alone.”

Rin releases a breath he hadn’t even known he was holding, and he rests his forehead against Haru’s temple. “You’re a little shithead, Nanase. Why not tell us that from the start? I don’t know whether I should kiss you or strangle you.”

“Preferably neither, and because for one you viciously attacked me in my own home.” The words are said with some humor, blue eyes sparkling with more than just tears now. “And second, because I wasn’t going to tell but I just…I can’t do this alone. I need help and I need my friends.”

Rin’s gaze softens considerably, and he rubs his forehead into Haru’s. “And you have us.”

Nagisa, who has remained quiet up until now, chimes in. “Agreed, always,” he says with a forehead bump of his own against Haru’s shoulder. “But I guess the next question is if it wasn’t some crazy bear on steroids, then what did this?”

Haru chews his lip, worrying it harshly between his teeth. “I don’t know, yet. Whatever it is though, it’s out there somewhere. I could feel it, out there in the forest.” He swallows, his hands gripping both Rin and Nagisa's hands tightly in his own. “It was like we were being watched the entire time.”

Rin lets out a shaky laugh, one well-timed by a fight scene that covers it, clearly disturbed by the thought. “Animals don’t do that, it would have attacked you on sight if there was an animal there. If it wasn’t the bear, I’m willing to bet there are people in the forest doing illegal shit, and Makoto and the guys just came across them and after hurting our friends, killed the bear to cover themselves.” A reasonable explanation, at least to Rin.

“Rin, people can’t rip apart fully grown bears with their bare hands. This thing…it wasn’t shot by yakuza hiding in the mountains or whatever.” Haru insists, ignoring the flash of fire in Rin’s eyes at the mention of the yakuza. The boy had always had a morbid interest in them, even a kid back when they first met. “It wasn’t a person. Maybe a bigger bear, but whatever it was had…thumbs.” Haru feels insane, almost, with the way he desperately needs them to hear what he’s saying. For them to believe him and not just write him off as grief-stricken and scared.

“Bears have thumbs.”

“No, they don’t.”

Nagisa holds up a hand, interrupting what is the beginning of the Rin and Haru version of a lover’s quarrel — best friend’s edition. “Why do you think it had thumbs?”

“Because… to get to Makoto it tore the door off Chris and David’s car by grabbing it not by just using strength to break it open. It didn’t pull him out by its teeth either, it grabbed him by his ankle, like it had hands. I checked before I left the hospital — he has a perfect bruise of a handprint on his left ankle, the driver’s side door which was torn off.” Haru felt almost out of breath, and both of his friends seemed momentarily stunned into silence.

“Japanese cars have the steering wheel on the right side, though?” Nagisa offers. “Are you sure the bruise wasn’t something work-related? You know how kids are? Maybe one of them grabbed him in the pool?”

“No. Chris brought his car in from the States. The driver’s side is on the left, and a child wouldn’t have been able to leave that bruise either. It’s why I left the hospital in the first place. It wasn’t…” He wants to say it wasn’t human, but the words die on his tongue. “I don’t know what did it, but I’m going to keep working with these agents, and hopefully we can get to the bottom of it.”

Nagisa’s concern shows on his face clearly, and Rin voices it out loud. “To what end, Haru?”

Haru considers for a few minutes, before answering. The words feel venomous on his tongue when he speaks, an aggression he has never felt in his life. “To find it and kill it, for what it did. Maybe it’s another bear, maybe it’s just a person after all, but I’m going to find it and make sure it can never do this again.”

Nagisa and Rin share equal looks of concern, but both decline to take it further. Haru gets up quietly to get a glass of water, only just noticing that one of his friends had washed his dishes while he had bathed. On the drying rack is Makoto’s favorite bowl he had broken earlier, now dried and ready to be put away. Haru mournfully runs his fingers over the perfectly glued edges, but when he does the glue chips away to reveal the smooth surface beneath, as if the bowl hadn’t been broken hours earlier. Haru picks it up, using his thumbnail to scrape the glue away to reveal a perfect bowl.

“Haru?” Rin asks, the other’s presence next to him unexpected.

“Makoto’s bowl…” He whispers, turning it over and over as if he can figure out what had happened if he keeps doing it.

“Yeah. Kisumi said he hoped you wouldn’t mind if he washed dishes. He didn’t like just leaving it.”

“No, look.” He holds the bowl up to Rin’s face. “Look at it.”

“I see it, Haru. It’s beautiful.”

“No. It… I broke it this morning, and Asahi fixed it.”

“Okay,” Rin steps closer, taking the bowl. “You gotta walk me through this Haru, because I’m not following. It seems fine now?”

“Exactly!” Haru insists. “It’s not broken, at all.” He takes Rin’s fingers, running it along where sealed cracks should be.

Rin’s eyebrows lift a fraction, and Haru nods. “No cracks.” The redhead whispers.

“No cracks.”

Rin sighs, placing the bowl back where Haru had found it. “Haru…” Haru’s entire body tenses up, and Rin carefully places his hands on Haru’s shoulders and squeezes.

“I’m not crazy, Rin.”

“I wasn’t gonna say that.”

“But the way you’re looking at me…” Haru looks away, immediately shutting down before Rin can say anything.

“I’m sorry, let’s just… Let’s table this until you’ve actually rested. We’ll come back to it in the morning.” Rin whispers, fighting to meet Haru’s gaze until the other relents.

“Fine.”

Rin grabs Haru’s water for him, leading him back to their sleeping pack of friends. Nagisa, oblivious to their conversation, happily makes space again, covering the three of them in the blanket so they can comfortably settle down for what remains of the night.

——————

Outside Haru’s apartment building, in the alleyway between two buildings, the massive silhouette of a lone figure stands in the shadows, listening intently to the conversations between the friends with ears more sensitive than anyone could dream of having, a deep rumbling breath drawn as it listens. It turns to leave as declarations of killing it are made, but stops when footsteps reach its ears from behind it.

A young father, walking quickly with his daughter's hand held tightly in his own. He’s late picking her up from her babysitter and only wants a quick shortcut to the train station, not realizing he’s walked them to their doom. Before he even realizes what is happening, before he can even scream for help or out of fear, a clawed hand slashes his throat from the shadows. The little girl watches her father’s mauling in wide-eyed horror, blood splattering across her little face, not a sound escaping her and too frozen to where she stands to flee. She sees the monster fully as it closes in on her, stepping into the light of a window, but just as she screams the train passes, completely drowning her out. The bedroom light turns out, the people within not even realizing what had just happened within one hundred feet of them.

In the morning, when the Sun rises, a steady rain washes away the blood down a drain. There’s no other evidence of what transpired, no bodies or scraps of clothing left behind, but behind several boxes left to be taken to the garbage is a little pink shoe belonging to the little girl.