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Chapter Text

Shaera Targaryen met many interesting people in her life, as she was the princess of the seven kingdoms and a member of the Targaryen family. Her lady in waiting, Elys Rivers was definitely one of them.

The bastard daughter of an unknown lord, this young woman was able to surprise the old princess from the first time they met.

It was a memorable day, as the princess and her dear husband, and also brother, Jahaerys were finally able to tire down their father to accept the marriage agreement between their children Rhaella and Aerys. One would think after seeing how happy his children were after marrying each other, the king would let them continue the family tradition with their own children.

Satisfied with her success, the princess was parading through the gardens of the Red Keep with her ladies in waiting, taking the beautiful sight of the Narrow Sea. That was where she met her Alyssa.

The young woman with her golden hair shimmering in the sun, appeared to her unexpectedly. In fact, she was not paying attention to the princess coming to her way, rather to the men of City Watch who were wandering around the palace gardens for some unknown reason. Their helmets in their hands, they were standing there listening to the woman explaining something with her lovely voice and sweet laughter. Unlike the men, the young woman was aware of her surroundings that as soon as she noticed the princess and her companions out of the corner of her eye, she ran to her and knelt down in front of her.

“My princess.,” she said “I have hoped to see you today.”

It was an unexpected meeting perhaps, but definitely not an unpleasant one.

Soon after the bastard girl became one of the princess’ ladies in waiting.

She was unusually intelligent and knowledgeable for a bastard, especially about history. One her favourite nightly activities was to amuse those around her by recounting all the events in the books Shaera had drowned in as a child, as if they were simple stories. Just like the princess, Elys also favored the stories including the Targaryen ancestors and their dragons. Perhaps also because of that, Shaera often felt like she was talking to the Princess Alyssa come again. Her lady in waiting had dirty blond hair and fire in her green eyes, just like the daughter of Jahaerys and good Queen Alysanne was described. While watching her lady in waiting looking into the sky, trying to reach to the clouds, Shaera believed she was seeing her ancestor through this woman.

Understandably Elys was her dearest companion after that point.

She was the who one helped her precious daughter Rhaella get ready for her wedding and her bedding. It was Elys who stood beside her when she lost her father and became the queen, when she took her first grandson to her arms. To listen, to advise and to cheer her up with her jests.

So it was strange to the Queen when her dear friend disappeared right after she just lost her lord husband, right when she needed her the most. But when she came back, explaining she was with child, refusing to name the father, Shaera knew it was her turn to help. She sent her to Dragonstone where she would be safe and away from the prying eyes. She was there when a crying babe came into the world, while her mother left it.

The babe was very small, very fragile but when she opened her eyes Shaera saw her friend again. She saw her Alyssa.

The name of the girl was obvious for her in that moment.

However the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms knew she had not much time left in this world, and the Stranger was calling her to join her husband. Before she left, she left the babe to her daughter, who was already mourning too many of her children at such a young age, hoping this little girl with bright green eyes and a mop of dark hair would bring some light to her life, just as Elys did to hers.

The Queen Mother’s suspicions were true and she left the world right before little Alyssa’s first name day. Alyssa Rivers was left in the Red Keep without a family, but she would find a new one there. Young queen Rhaella took the babe with her wherever she went, and soon the young prince also picked the same habit as his mother. Following his mother and the babe all the time, Rhaegar grew fond of Alyssa, or rather possessive some might say. As she grew into a girl with wild curls and freckles on her pink cheeks, the heir to the Iron Throne started going to his lessons while holding her hand, and the bastard girl was all too happy for that. For her Rhaegar and the queen were her family and she was joyed to watch Rhaegar learn High Valyrian from the Maesters or spar with young squires in the palace gardens.

Unfortunately she was aware of the looks she received, whether she was reading in the library next to Rhaegar or keeping herself busy with the needlework while sitting with the queen.

Soon after her thirteenth name day, the queen gave birth to a son that would survive after so many losses, and Alyssa believed this to be her chance to prove the people around her she could be useful too. That she was worth to keep around. She started to see the little prince’s needs and watch him closely all the time, so that she could tell the bedridden queen how was her son. Poor Rhaella’s mood was quite cheerful thanks to her youngest son,after too many stillborns or babes who would leave this world as quickly as they came, but her body was exhausted and she could not leave her chambers for weeks; and the fact that Aerys did not let anyone be in the same room with little Viserys was not helping.  Therefore she was thankful for Alyssa’s little anecdotes about her son and it would give the queen relief to know her son was being watched by her sweet girl. The only one distraught by this arrangement was Rhaegar, as he was used to have Alyssa by his side all the time and did not wish to share his little sister, but soon the afternoons would become their favourite time of the day, eating lemon cake and having tea in Viserys’ chamber with the queen.

Perhaps she was a bastard with no past, but Red Keep was Alyssa Rivers’ home and the Targaryens were her family

Chapter Text

Elia

"I still cannot understand how you agreed to leave Dorne and live here."

Princess Elia Martell was in no mood to snap at her younger brother as she was trying not to be interrupted as she tried to enjoy the breeze in her face. "I won't be living here, Oberyn," she said, keeping her gaze on the sea, "we're moving to Dragonstone after the wedding."

"That's right, I had forgotten that you are marrying the prince of Dragonstone. Though I don't think even he knows of that title, I hear he spends most of his time mingling with the people and singing songs."

"So he is someone I wouldn't be bored with."

"If you're happy to marry a jester..."

The princess of Dorne stared at her brother at his words. He was trying to make a joke of it but as his older sister, she could see the worry in Oberyn's dark eyes. Elia knew that even the fact that they were now on a ship bound for King's Landing would not stop Oberyn from trying to get her home. "I am marrying the future king, Oberyn, and his knowledge of the arts does not diminish, but rather elevates him in my eyes." The young prince made no reply, though he seemed unconvinced by his sister's words. Since his return from exile, it had become his custom to fall into silence after short conversations, and Elia was genuinely uncomfortable with her brother’s new habit. "You have nothing to worry about. Dragonstone or King's Landing, I will be safe either way."

Alyssa

Enjoying the sea air in the garden had been one of Alyssa Rivers’ favorite activities since she was a little girl. Now, as she walked behind Rhaegar Targaryen, holding the flowing skirts of her new dress as instructed by the queen, she couldn't help but appreciate the beauty of the garden. For far too long, the Red Keep had been a deserted place, except for the royal family and their staff, as per the king's wishes, of course. Alyssa wasn't sure which of these groups she belonged to, but all she knew was that she was grateful that Queen Rhaella was outside the palace after a long time. Since the birth of little Viserys, she had been reluctant to leave her son alone, but now she was happily walking through the gardens with Rhaegar on her arm, her ladies in waiting and Kingsguard following them.

"A day that will go down in history," Jon Conington, walking beside Alyssa, interrupted her thoughts in a cheerful voice. As one of Rhaegar's closest friends, he was part of the welcoming party for the prince’s bride. From spending far too much time with him, thanks to Rhaegar of course, Alyssa knew him well and knew he couldn't go too long without speaking.

"Of course. We are on our way to greet the future queen."

"Too bad we hadn’t brought Cersei Lannister with us, I would have liked to see the look on her face." he said as his lips twitched into a smile. His bright eyes were shining while his dark hair was flowing with the wind. Like Rhaegar, he refused to cut his hair unless he was forced to and the same rule seemed to apply for his face too, as he scratched his stubble. Alyssa’s lips turned upwards with Jon’s comment. The King’s Hand and his daughter were not much liked by the people, and who could blame them? Tywin Lannister walked around the keep with looking down on everyone, displaying his power on the king and the realm, but at least he had the right to do so. His daughter Cersei, a young maiden at the age of six and ten, acted as she was the princess of the Seven Kingdom and was entitled to do whatever she wished. Perhaps it shouldn’t give Alyssa too much pleasure to know Cersei’s greatest wish was Rhaegar and she had to watch him marry a true princess.

"She's the only reason she's not here. The Queen invited her privately, but she said she would be busy welcoming her brother."

"Oh yes, with Tywin Lannister busy with the Small Council, she's the head of the family."

Alyssa thought they had gone too far when she had to cover her mouth with her hand to stifle a giggle. When one of the ladies, a blonde girl who was probably a few years her senior, turned to her, the green eyed girl picked a few strands of her hair as if she was trying to keep them away from her face. She braided her hair upon the queen’s request, though she couldn’t help herself from letting most of her curls free to flow to her waist. There were time she was insecure about her appearance, but never about her hair. Most of the time she walked around the keep allowing her loose curls to bounce with every step she took.

To escape the looks from the lady in front of her, the beloved bastard of the Red Keep turned her attention to the prince, walking to meet the princess he would marry in a few days. Although she could only see his red and black tunic and wavy hair, she knew that the prince she had grown up with was squinting his violet eyes and involuntarily humming a tune as he listened to his mother. Probably a cheerful tune, appropriate for this beautiful summer weather. As if she realized Alyssa was looking at the pair, Queen of the Seven Kingdoms turned back and gave her a small smile. She was wearing a red gown trimmed with black laces and her silver hair in braids. Her violet eyes, matching to her son, was sparkling in a way Alyssa had missed.

After returning the smile, she also looked back to the crowd of ladies and servants behind her. Some of these ladies would be chosen by Princess Elia to be her handmaidens and to eventually live in Dragonstone. To think they were all daughters of some small lords, it was a great honor for them. Alyssa was actually the first name the Queen proposed, but the young girl had refused. Of course she did not want to be separated from Rhaegar, who was no different from her brother, but she was aware that the queen was getting lonely in the palace day by day and she had no intention of leaving her alone. And she also had doubts that any lord would be pleased to hear his daughter was denied in favor of a bastard.

As they approached the small harbour of the palace, Alyssa, like everyone else, turned her attention to the approaching ship. It was as magnificent as any ship from Dorne, but small enough to make it obvious that it was bringing an uncrowded party. Even though it was still far away, Alyssa could make out the figures on the deck. Who knows, maybe it was the future queen Elia Martell, looking curiously to her new home.

"The last time I welcomed such a ship, it was carrying my dear friend," Queen Rhaella said with a sad expression. "I wish she could have seen the joining of our families."

"I'm sure the Princess of Dorne is watching us from the seven heavens, my queen."

“I really hope she does, sweet girl. And you, Rhaegar-“ the Queen turned to her son “will be nothing but kind to that girl.”

“I have no intention of anything else Lady Mother.”

The queen looked at her son's face as if to make sure he was telling the truth, then turned to Alyssa for confirmation. The only answer the young girl gave was a confident smile.

Jaime

The day Jaime Lannister arrived at the Red Keep was undoubtedly a joyous day for the people of the keep. But he himself could not join in this joy.

Cersei's plan was only one step away from completion, and although he told himself otherwise, Jaime could not accept what was being asked of him. There was nothing he could do from this point on, but that fact was not enough to free his body from the grip of uncomfortable regret.

"Something seems to be troubling you," said Addam Marbrand, riding beside Jaime. “Bad thoughts?”

“Oh no, just…” he said just before his gaze locked on his sister, who had clearly come to meet him ahead “the things one do for love.”

Cersei, in her Lannister red and gold dress, stopped when she realised Jaime had noticed her and placed a self-satisfied smile on her thin lips. There was a mischievous glint in her green eyes, and as always, Jaime wasn't sure if he liked it or not.

“Father sends his apologies, he couldn’t make it because of the Small Council.”

“I am sure he is devastated from not being to first one to welcome me,” Jaime said as he got off of his horse and handed him to the stable boy “but I am still pleased with the welcoming party.”

After returning a smile to her brother, Cersei, ever the lady, bowed to Addam Marbrand and said nothing more until her twin said goodbye to his friend and strode with her into the corridors of the keep.

“You look extremely happy, given the occasion.”

“Do you mean the arrival of the Dorne whore or the fact that you're finally gonna do something right?”

“Manners, dear sister, manners.”

Jaime just watched his sister as Cersei led him to his room. She hadn't changed much in the time they had been apart, only her golden hair had grown a little longer. Everything else was the same as always. Cersei Lannister, Jaime's other, better half still held the title of the most beautiful woman in the Seven Kingdoms. Even though he thought Rhaegar's, or rather King Aenys’, rejection of her was foolish, Jaime was secretly glad, for he had never tried to hide the fact that he was disturbed by his sister's obsession with the purple-eyed prince. Particularly he did not wish to watch Cersei marry off, when he was throwing away the responsibilities and rights he had spent his whole life preparing for. Not yet, at least.

Or not ever.

Cersei would hate him if she had known how much he despised her plan and the burden she had put on his shoulders, but he also knew there was no other way for him to be there for her, beside her.

So be it.

After dismissing the servant and the ladies who came after them, Cersei opened the door and called Jaime in. Her lips were upwards and she was leaning at the door looking at him. During the time he spent in Riverlands, the only thought that kept him motivated was the idea of seeing her, being with her again. At that moment, everything made sense again for Jaime as he looked at his twin's smile.

He would do anything she asked from him, even if it led him to the ruin.

Chapter Text

Rhaegar

Sitting at a table at the head of the throne room, Rhaegar Targaryen, Prince of Dragonstone and heir to the Iron Throne, could not focus on anything. A cacophony of murmurs rose from all parts of the vast hall, and the colorful dresses of the ladies strained his eyes. He tried to focus on the music coming from a far corner, but the noise of the guests was too loud. He decided it was safest to turn to his mother, who was standing next to him and hadn't made a sound for the better part of the hour. The queen seemed to be watching the scene before her, but his son could see the emptiness in her gaze. She was clearly lost in her own mind; Rhaegar wondered how his mother could even stand in such a crowd after so long. Once the joy of the court, his mother's strength was now only enough to care for his younger brother Viserys. But tonight, at the opening fest for Rhaegar's wedding, she stood before her people as queen to represent the crown.

"He isn’t coming, is he?" the queen murmured in a voice that even her son could hardly hear. "He won't even bother to celebrate his son's marriage. Even bloody Tywin is here and he refuses to come."

Rhaegar took his mother's hand in support when he realized she was talking about the king, as he believed she needed it when she spoke of Aenys. "It is more than enough for him to be present at the tourney on the morrow."

“The tourney, yes, of course.”

As the Queen fell silent again, Rhaegar raised her thin-fingered hand to his lips. “Muñnykeā, gaomagon daor sagon zūgagon” The sound of her mother tongue made Rhaella turn her lilac eyes to him “Ry jāhor sagon sȳz”

“Nyke gīmigon, issa qeldlie zaldrīzes”

There, now, on her lips, was the loving smile Rhaegar had grown accustomed to. When he was only a boy and sought solace in hiding in his mother's skirts, the queen always smiled this way, stroking her son's wavy hair and singing a song. His mother had a soothing voice, especially suited to Valyrian songs. But now it was Rhaegar's turn to soothe his mother with his songs. He wanted to support his mother, to save her from the king's cruelty as she melted before his eyes day by day.

But the time had not yet come.

After returning his mother's smile, the prince turned to a pair of green eyes watching him among the guests. Alyssa Rivers, who must have seen what had happened between the two, had a worried expression on her face as she was looking at the crown prince. To assure her all was well, Rhaegar nodded toward the young girl. He knew Alyssa was as worried about the queen as he was, perhaps even more so. She spent more time with his mother than Rhaegar, hardly a moment away from the queen. Even now, though she was one of the most lovely maidens in the hall, with her dark hair adorned with flowers and her dress specially made for the festive, Alyssa’s attention was on the queen, making sure she was all right. It was comforting to know that there would be someone to take care of his mother while he was away in Dragonstone with his bride.

The gods must have heard him, for as the young prince contemplated his bride, who would be the reason for him to leave King's Landing, the arrival of the said princess  was announced. The princess of Dorne entered the hall, followed by her brother, wearing the colors of their house, and her uncle, soon to join the Kingsguard. The entire hall stared at her in awe, and Rhaegar could hardly blame any of them. Elia Martell, holding the hem of a Targaryen red gown, looked around the hall where she would one day be crowned queen, a proud and confident smile on her beautiful face.

Rhaegar and his mother had risen at the announcement. The queen, looking somewhat like herself, put a smile on her lips, took her son by the hand and came to the front of the table. As Elia Martell knelt before them, Ser Lewyn Martell introduced his niece in the silent hall. The queen's response was to take the bowing princess by the hand and lift her to her feet. Rhaegar allowed his mother to join his hands with Elia, ignoring the judgmental gaze of Tywin Lannister, who sat at the table next to them with his children.

As the lords and ladies applauded the couple united before the Iron Throne, Rhaegar was looking at his bride, the woman who would one day become his queen.

Jaime

With the entrance of the princess of Dorne, the Lannister family except Jaime's younger brother Tyrion, who was still at Casterly Rock, stood up, as did everyone else. But Jaime's gaze was fixed on a young girl sitting at the table across from him. The girl that Prince Rhaegar did not take his gaze off until his bride arrived.

She must have been the same age as Jaime, and though the worried expression on her face gave her a mature air, she still had the blush of youth in her cheeks. Her dark curls spilled over the shoulders of her green dress, except for a few tufts braided with flowers and placed like a crown on her head. On her neck, a golden necklace shone in the dim light of the hall, drawing attention to the fine details of her dress. Though she resembled a princess in appearance, the table she sat at was filled with members of minor houses whose names Jaime had never deigned to learn. How was this young girl who shared meaningful glances with Prince Rhaegar among such people?

The green eyes watching the crown prince turned to the other side of the hall at the arrival of the princess of Dorne. As she stood up, she began to applaud, as did Jaime, but the smile on her face was sincere. When the hands of the future king and queen were joined by Queen Rhaella, her green eyes were filled with tears; the way she clasped her hands on her chest was reminiscent of a proud sister.

Jaime was surprisingly amused by this analogy. Cersei's reaction certainly wouldn't have been the same if he was getting married himself.

For a brief moment his eyes lingered on the royal family in front of the Iron Throne, but he involuntarily turned back to the young girl. Only this time she was looking at him. There was nothing questioning or judgemental in this gaze, only a greeting supported by a smile. As he returned the greeting of the mysterious princess, he did not realise that his sister was watching the interaction.

Alyssa

When Rhagear and Elia stood hand in hand in the centre of the hall, Alyssa knew she was going to watch the Dance of the Dragons. It was one of the Targaryen family's oldest marriage traditions, and she had expected Rhaegar to keep it alive, even if his marriage would take place under the seven-pointed star. Rhaella and Aerys, Shaera and Jahaerys, and now it was time for Rhaegar and Elia. Alyssa could imagine Shaera's proud gaze as she taught her grandson Targaryen customs, at least Rhaegar always made sure to mention this detail whenever he talked about the woman who brought Alyssa to the Red Keep.

Targaryen history was one of Queen Shaera's favourite subjects to talk about, especially the time when dragons ruled Westeros. Even Alyssa's naming was inspired by her brave ancestor, remembered for her mismatched eyes, one lilac and one green. Of course, one could argue how wise it was to give a bastard such a noble name.

When the couple finished their dance, there was an applause in the hall that was incomparable to the first one. Everyone must have had the same thought in mind: the future of the seven kingdoms would be safe in the hands of the pair

As Rhaegar and Elia took their places at the table set in front of the throne, the servants began to move round the tables with food and drink. At the same time the music began to play and some of the guests, the younger ones, got up and began to dance. Alyssa, who was quite fond of dancing, preferred to drink her wine first. This way she would have a chance to look at the young man sitting at the table opposite her.

Jaime Lannister was sitting across from Alyssa with his father on one side and his twin on the other, sipping his wine and laughing at something his sister said. Looking at the two of them side by side, Alyssa could more easily believe that they were able to disguise as each other by changing their clothes when they were children. She had thought that the stories told in Joanna Lannister's letters to the queen were exaggerated, but the similarities between the two were striking despite their advanced age.

But it wasn't the twins similarity that caught Alyssa's attention right now, it was Jaime Lannister. Jaime Lannister, who had been watching her the entire time Elia Martell had been walking down the hall. She was used to people's stares, in fact, it was a small detail that came with being a bastard growing up in the Red Keep, but Jaime hadn't taken his gaze off her for minutes. Was it something Cersei said? Alyssa was aware that the Lannister girl disliked her. Although she had no ties to the royal family and was a bastard, her intimacy with the queen and Rhaegar was an eyesore to Cersei, as it was to many, and Alyssa had heard the young girl's thoughts on the matter many times behind closed doors during her months at court. But at the end of the day, Cersei Lannister's thoughts were irrelevant. Unbeknownst to her, she would soon be leaving the palace, leaving her twin behind.

“Would you honor me with a dance, fair lady?”

Lost in her thoughts, she hadn't even noticed the young man standing in front of her. Ser Myles Mooton, one of Rhaegar's favoured knights, was smiling and holding out his hand.

“With pleasure, good sire.”

As they mingled with the dancing crowd, a new melody began, more lively than the previous one. "I miss dancing, it's been a long time since I've had this kind of fun."

"How do you spend your time in all those places you've been travelling then?” Alyssa knew that Mooton had been to many parts of the Seven Kingdoms, as he always sent ravens to Rhaegar, but she had few details of these journeys.

“Activities that aren’t suited for a conversation with a lady.” The knight laughed when he realised that he made the girl blush. “My apologies,” he said as he took his dance partner by the hand and spun her round. “I was out of line.” The pair approached each other and spun round. Alyssa could only say "You are forgiven, sir." before their partners changed.

Standing before her now was none other than Jon Connington. Unlike this morning, however, he was now dressed in an elegant tunic and had the symbol of his house slung over his shoulders. "Lady Alyssa, what a pleasure to see you among the dancers."

“Likewise, my lord.” said Alyssa raising her hands at the same time "I hope you're enjoying the festivities”.

“I've always been happy anywhere I could drink Dornish wine."

Alyssa laughed at Jon's answer and just let herself enjoy the dance for a while. Even in the crowd, all she could focus on was the music and the dance steps. It was also a pleasure to dance with Jon, the young lord was quite talented in this regard. Although he made the other laugh with little jokes, he did not neglect to enjoy the dance. Just before they changed partners again, he placed a kiss on her hand.

(While Alyssa was laughing at her friend’s curtesy, she missed the way Myles Mooton smirked at the only heir to the House Connington)

Even as she longed for her friend, she took a step back when she realised that it was Oberyn Martell standing in front of her as a new tune began. The young prince only laughed at her surprised gesture. "Forgive me, my lady, I did not mean to frighten you."

“It is I, who should apologize, my prince.” With the start of a slower song compared to the previous ones, the couple began to spin.

"I'm sure this is not the first time we meet. I believe saw you this morning, milady."

“Well, yes. I was in the group that welcomed you.”

"Your face is hard to forget" When the pair began to dance in the opposite direction, Prince Martell continued. "Would it be appropriate to ask your age?"

“Six and ten, your highness.”

“Ah, we're only a few years apart.”

“Have I proved your guesses wrong?” Laughing at his dance partner's answer, the young prince took her by the waist, lifted into the air and spun her around. "No, but I must say you are beautiful beyond your years."

“You are very bold with your compliments."

“I would argue that people of Westeros are quiet timid.” And so the prince switched places with the one next to him. With a flush of pink in her cheeks and an involuntary smile on her lips, Alyssa faced her new partner: Jaime Lannister.

“Ser Jaime”

“My lady, I’m afraid I do not know your name.” The Lannister took a step closer and joined hands with Alyssa. It was the first time she had seen the famous Lannister heir up close.

“Alyssa Rivers, my lord.”

Even if he realised the meaning of her name, he did not react, merely nodded in acknowledgement. "Is this your first time in King's Landing?"

"On the contrary, I grew up here." As Alyssa circled the golden-haired knight, she could see his surprise, but she did not want to explain too much. "I am in the service of the queen, like your sister, but I have been here much longer than she has."

“I see. And what do you think of life in the keep?"

"It depends on who you are, but one might say it is quite dull."

“Hmm.”

Ser Jaime was seemed to not share his sister’s sharp tongue. He continued his questions about court life as he lifted Alyssa into the air and spun her around. But he seemed careful to keep his questions superficial, as if he did not want the reason behind the questions to be understood.

(He was unaware that Alyssa Rivers knew the fate that awaited the young Lannister.)

Chapter Text

Alyssa

In the early morning light, Alyssa Rivers, in her pink dress, was involuntarily attracting attention as she made her way through the corridors of the Red Keep among the servants running around for the tournament. On a normal day, the last thing she wished was to be the centre of people's gaze, but in honour of Rhaegar's wedding, it would have been disrespectful not to wear the dresses the queen had ordered for her.

She had gathered some of her dark hair behind her head in a braid as at the feast, but this time she had left the flowers missing. Considering that she would spend most of the day in the outdoors, it was possible that the flowers she had carefully selected would be blown away by the wind and she did not have the heart to wear the pearls sent by the queen.

Of course, the queen could not replace her mother, whom she had been missing for as long as she could remember, but the love and respect she felt for the woman who held on to life for her children in this keep despite the lack of support from anyone was immeasurable. For that reason she would never have dreamed of flaunting the riches the queen offered her. The biggest part of her life in the keep included attending to the needs of the queen who provided her with all these opportunities, even if it was not expected from her. For the young bastard, the way to show her gratitude was to make herself useful. And lately, her greatest occupation was the young prince.

When she arrived at Prince Viserys' chambers, the king's guard greeted her as he was accustomed to do every morning, and the ladies who were attending to the prince inside stalled away from the prince when they saw her. The smile on Alyssa's face when she held the prince, one of her greatest joys in the keep, made little Viserys smile too. He squinted his eyes, a dark shade of purple shining in the morning light. Although he shared his brother’s smile his eyes reminded her of Aerys Targaryen too much for her liking. But Viserys wasn’t like him and wouldn’t be, he was Alyssa’s dear boy, always smiling warmly and demanding her love.

“Good morning my little dragon, are you excited to see your mother?” she cooed as she walked out of the chamber with the little boy in her arms. As expected, the kingsguard followed her as she made her way to the queen’s chambers. With the king’s paranoia growing every day, the prince was not to be left unprotected at any hour of the day.

In front of the queen's chamber, Arthur Dayne, a close friend of Prince Rhaegar and the last of the Kingsguard, was on duty. Alyssa always adored him, because of his gentleness despite being a skilled fighter, or perhaps because of his charming face. The Dornish knight had the handsome traits of his lands and Alyssa would be laying if she’d said her cheeks never reddened when he smiled at her.  The young knight bid her good morrows but signalled them to stop before opening the door. “The Queen is having tea with Lady Cersei.”

“At this hour?”

“It seems so.”

Hearing the Lannister girl's presence was enough to change Alyssa's mood. Tywin Lannister's daughter had been staying with her father in the capital for the last few moons and during this time no friendship had developed between the two girls, who were close in age. Alyssa knew, of course, that the reason for Cersei Lannister’s behavior was her birth, and she was not bothered by this treatment, which she was facing not for the first time in her life. But there was something about the look in her eyes as she strode through the corridors tossing her golden hair, that disturbed Alyssa Rivers, perhaps because it epitomised the falseness she had grown accustomed to in the King’s Landing.

Alyssa turned her attention to the baby in her arms as Viserys began impatiently playing with the strands of hair that escaped from her braids. Smiling, she planted a kiss on his cheek and released her hair from the prince's small hand. "I'm afraid someone more important than Cersei Lannister wants to see the queen," she returned to Kingsguard. As the door to the queen's chambers opened, she involuntarily tousled Viserys' silver hair, though it was questionable whether she was trying to encourage the boy or herself.

Inside, the queen was seated in the armchair she had pulled up just in front of the window, surrounded by Cersei Lannister and the ladies from Casterly Rock. As all eyes turned to newcomer, Queen Rhaella stood up with a smile so big Alyssa’s heart ached. “Viserys,” she opened her arms while Alyssa walked through the room and brought the prince to his mother “oh my own heart.” The Queen buried her face in her son's silver hair and smothered the little prince's head with kisses. Alyssa bowed to greet those in the room as she watched mother and son laughing together. “Good morrows Your Grace, Lady Cersei.”

“Good morrows my darling girl. Sit, have some tea.” The Queen signaled one of the ladies to fetch a cushion for the young girl, and as she was used to since she was a little girl, Alyssa sat next to queen of the Seven Kingdoms. Even if the Queen only showed this intimacy in the privacy of her chambers, Cersei Lannister’s green eyes were fixed on the bastard, as if asking how dare she.

Ignoring Cersei's gaze, he turned his attention to Viserys, who was murmuring in his mother's arms. The little prince's enthusiasm was admirable, even if his speech was still in broken sentences. "Tourney day Mama!" Viserys laughed as his mother leaned down to place a kiss on his cheek.

Cersie Lannister didn't seem to care about the happy scene of the Queen and her son, so the blonde girl signaled the ladies next to her to stand up. "Thank you for the tea, Your Grace, but my father will be expecting me."

"Of course, thank you for the lovely conversation, Cersei."

Alyssa breathed a sigh of relief when the Lannister girl left the queen's chambers. "You don't seem to enjoy the company of the Lannister girl."

Not to be rude, Alyssa merely laughed and nodded at the queen's remark. Rhaella stroked her cheek, realizing that the green-eyed girl did not wish to pursue the matter further. Viserys was nestled deep in his mother's lap, unsuccessfully braiding the silver curls she had left out for him.

"He will make the announcement before the tournament starts, won't she?" the queen said as she released her hair from Viserys' tiny hands.

"I believe so, Your Grace."

"I think he is a fine choice, the boy. He has just been knighted and he has almost grown here." When Alyssa looked away, Rhaella turned her lilac eyes to the girl sitting next to her. "Don't you agree?"

For a moment she weighed whether it would be risky to speak her mind, but with no one else in the room listening, the Rivers girl chose to speak. "I don't think Lord Tywin shall take kindly to losing his heir."

"Perhaps, but Jaime also has a brother. Outside of those two, I don't think anyone would say that House Lannister is lacking in men."

"That is true, my Queen." Alyssa smiled and stood up. "I must go now, I do not wish to be delayed."

"Me too!"

"No my love, you are to stay here with me today."

"No! Aly can take me!"

"I am afraid I cannot little dragon, but I will come and see you again this evening."

As she left the room, leaving behind the prince who was crying because he was going to miss the tournament, the young girl was worried about how the things would change by nightfall.

Cersei

The daughter of the Hand of the King sat in the royal family's section at the tournament, trying to shake the uncomfortable feeling in her stomach. Contrary to the advice of her septa, which had haunted her at Casterly Rock, prayer had never helped Cersei Lannister. Even if the King had not yet arrived, the mere thought of the Mad King's presence made her involuntarily sit up straighter. In the months she had spent at court, she had only seen Aerys Targaryen a handful of times. After half a year imprisoned in Duskendale, the King of the Seven Kingdoms refused to leave his chambers and the safety of the Kingsguard, leaving all responsibility to Cersei's father, Tywin Lannister. It was for the good of the Seven Kingdoms, but it was not difficult to imagine the shame of the Targaryen family. According to Tywin Lannister, at least when Old Queen Shaera was alive, and Cersei was a baby, the palace was in a very different state. Nowadays, the family's splendour could only be seen in the dragon skulls that adorned the throne room.

"I'm not used to seeing you sitting quietly like this." Cersei forced a smile as her father, sitting next to her, leaned towards her.

"Am I casting a shadow on the glamour of the royal wedding?"

“You could never, little dove.” Tywin Lannister said, pushing back a lock of golden hair that had fallen across his daughter's face. "But those who see you will think you are aware of the princess's ill health." Seeing Cersei turn to him with interest, he continued in a whisper. "Some fear she will not survive even childbirth."

“That would be a shame for the heir to Iron Throne.”

“Indeed.”

Cersei realised why she had stayed in the palace at her father's words and turned her green eyes to the head of House Lannister as if to make sure. Her father smiled and shook his head in reply.  "You leave everything to me, I will not risk the future of any of my children. Jaime and Lysa Tully's engagement is nearing completion."

The discomfort in her stomach returned at the mention of her twin, and the golden-haired girl turned her gaze back to the tournament grounds. With every second that passed, more and more people poured in, eager to watch the knights from different parts of the seven kingdoms face off.

(There was a green-eyed bastard sitting in the tournament arena, watching the King's Hand and his daughter speak while no one else was paying attention. She knew that a Lannister always paid his debts, and she was worried about who would suffer for what would happen today.)

"Do you believe Lysa Tully to be the right choice?"

"Why shouldn’t she be?"

Cersei had no answer for her father, who was looking at her intently. How could her father not realise that her twin deserved so much better! In Cersei's eyes there was no one who deserved Jaime, except herself, who had come into this world with him. Jaime deserved the highest honours and why marry the Tully girl when he could be with his other half?

She had made the right decision, the twins should not be separated.

The young girl's thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of Aerys Targaryen and the Martell princess. Cersei stood and bowed her head, as did her father. The King of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm greeted his Hand, but giving Cersei only a glance. Though she meant no disrespect, the Lannister girl couldn't help but stare into the king's purple eyes. Aerys Targrayen's eyes, unlike those of his son and wife, or his sister, were a dark purple, but it was hard to find consciousness in that darkness. She sat up straighter and returned her gaze to the tournament field as the newcomers settled in behind Cersei and her father. Aerys Targaryen was the only one standing as silence fell over the field. "We are here today to celebrate the union of my son Prince Rhaegar, heir to the Iron Throne, and Princess Elia Martell of Dorne." Cersei's ears ringing with applause, the king silenced her with a single wave of his hand. "But that is not the only special event today."

(Jaime Lannister was waiting in a secluded spot, holding his sword as if his life depended on it, praying to the Father to give him strength).

Tywin Lannister was trying to hide his puzzled look, while Cersei was trying not to look at her father. "As you know, the honour of protecting the king and his family is bestowed upon seven of the most skilled and powerful knights in our kingdom. And today, I am pleased to announce that they will be joined by a new member: Ser Jaime of House Lannister!"

Jaime stepped forward in his golden armour, followed by Ser Barristan Selmy carrying a neatly folded white cloak. When he arrived in the royal family's quarters, his brother was looking neither at Cersei nor at their father. Jaime Lannister kept his green eyes fixed on the king of the seven kingdoms, while Cersei watched her twin's golden hair shining in the sun. He looked like a knight from a fairy tale as he looked up with a determined expression on his face. The king took his seat and Ser Gerold Hightower appeared in front of Jaime. Because Cersei didn't take her gaze off her twin for even a moment, she didn't even realise when the Commander of the Kingsguard had run down from the king. As Jaime knelt, Ser Gerold plunged his sword into the dirt.

“Jaime of House Lannister, do you swear to ward the king with all your strength, to give your blood for his?”

“I do.”

Tywin Lannister was clutching his seat tightly, rubbing his chin with one hand. Cersei's father pursed his lips as Jaime took each oath, and the young girl tried to keep the tears from her eyes.

“Do you swear to obey His commands and keep His secrets?”

(Rhaegar, who had his horse ready for the tournament, locked eyes with Alyssa as he tried to make sense of what had happened. The young girl clutched the gold necklace around her neck, her lips trembling as she looked at Rhaegar. He wanted to hold her in his arms, to tell her that he would correct his father's folly. Leaving his little sister in the middle of a crisis on his way to Dragonstone was the last thing he wanted).

“I shall take no wife, hold no lands, and father no children. I pledge to His Grace my life and honor, until the day that I die.”

When Gerold Hightower placed the white cloak on Jaime Lannister's back, Cersei closed her eyes and tried not to hear the echoing applause. She had done the right thing: when Elia Martell died without even giving the prince an heir, Cersei would become Rhaegar's new wife and Jaime would protect her against all odds.

Jaime

Jaime Lannnister had never felt so foolish in his life.

When he had taken his vows and donned the white cloak in front of the entire kingdom, he had thought for a moment that he was carrying the greatest honour he could ever receive. Not even his father's angry glare could spoil the moment. He had thought he could add to that honour by winning the tournament in the king's presence, but Aerys Targaryen's smile, showing his foul teeth, had been enough to make him realise that his hopes were for naught.

The tournament was over, the feast was over, but the newest member of the Kingsguard had spent the day outside the queen's chambers. This was his life's work, babysitting for the queen. Given Queen Rhaella's ill health, it was obvious that he would be spending most of his days in this corridor. He saw no one except a few servants tending to Prince Viserys and Oswell Whent, the Kingsguard charged with protecting the prince. Not even Cersei had come to visit him, how couldn't she find an excuse to see his twin? At Casterly Rock, when they had both been small children, their mother had tried to separate them, to stop them seeing each other, but had failed. "It's impossible to separate us," Cersei had said, "no one can do that." So where was his twin now? Jaime had sworn to protect the Mad King, had left his own family, his home, his whole life behind to be with Cersei. But he was all alone in the middle of this corridor. Tyrion was at Casterly Rock and who knows when they would see each other again. His father and Cersei were feasting with the king he had sworn to protect. Even now, Cersei must have been trying to talk to the heir to the throne, trying to put herself forward.

Outside this corridor, everyone was going about their lives, but Jaime, in his white cloak, was trapped within the walls of the Red Keep. He felt betrayed, but who was to blame?

When he heard footsteps echoing down the corridor, his right hand involuntarily went to his sword. But what appeared at the end of the corridor was none other than a girl in a pink dress. Mystery Princess, he called her the night of the feast. She looked like she was part of the royal family tonight too as she strode down the aisle, tossing her hair. As she got closer he could see the bastard's face more clearly, holding the hem of her dress as she moved slowly down the corridor, careful not to fall.

"Ser Jaime." she said, bowing her head as she faced the knight. Her green eyes, surrounded by dark eyelashes on her white face, shone as she looked at Jaime.

“Lady Alyssa.”

"Just call me Alyssa." She took the necklace dangling around her neck between her slender fingers and smiled. Jaime couldn't tell if the golden figure was a sea horse or a dragon, but the wing details convinced the young man it was the latter. “I hold no titles and I do not need to act as if I do.”

“We’re not so different then, are we?”

“I suppose not.” Alyssa continued as two pairs of similar eyes glanced at each other. "I'm actually here to visit the queen."

“Her Grace is resting I’m afraid, she went to bed early.”

A look of disappointment crossed her face, but the Rivers girl nodded and smiled. "Then I bid you good night my good ser.”

“And I you, my lady.”

After chuckling at Jaime's sarcasm, she turned and crossed the corridor, gathering up her skirts again. Looking after the young girl, Jaime inexplicably felt that the bastard understood his captivity, or at least he sensed it in those green eyes.

Chapter Text

Rhaegar

Rhaegar Targaryen had made a habit of waking before sunrise for the last few years.

Perhaps it was because he felt the pressures of court life more and more each day that he loved the quietest hours of the day. Servants and lords running after him, dozens of voices trying to advise him, complaints and worries about his father... These hours, when the courtiers were not yet awake, were the only hours he found peace. He would sit on his balcony with his harp in his hand and let the music fill him with peace as he watched the red lights reflect first on Blackwater Bay and then illuminate the palace garden. The morning of the wedding was no different.

But this morning he was only enjoying the silence. He didn't feel like singing or playing the harp. All he wanted was to memorise, one last time, as much as possible, the scene he had woken up to for so many years. In a few days he would settle in Dragonstone, and only when his father left this world would he return to the Red Keep.

Whenever that might be.

His father's condition was one of the young prince's growing concerns. Before his captivity in Duskendale, Aerys Targaryen had at least heeded his heir's advice, if not always followed it. But there was no longer a conversation between father and son without broken cups or screams echoing through the chambers.

The silver prince was sitting on his balcony, lost in thought, and did not notice the young girl who had entered until she stood against the railing of the balcony. When they locked eyes, he couldn't help smiling, but he put on a scolding demeanour. "I don't think you came in through the door at this hour."

"Depends on which door you mean."

It was one of Alyssa Rivers' habits that could get her into trouble. They had spent too much time together in the secret passages of the keep when they were younger, and now Alyssa refused to walk through the crowded corridors lest she attract stares. "One day you'll get in trouble for this and I won't be here to save you."

"Nonsense." Rhaegar couldn't help but soften as Alyssa's green eyes sparkled with a mischievous glint, "you will always be close by to save me." He stood up and took the brown-haired girl in his arms, burying his face in her dark locks. As always, her hair was scented with the fragrance of a thousand flowers from the palace garden, but she kept the mixture a secret.

Hugging Alyssa, Rhaegar forgot the troubles outside. She was his sister. Rhaegar had been the first to greet her when his grandmother returned from Dragonstone with a little baby in her arms, and he had never left the little girl alone after that. He was possessive by nature, there was no one that could deny that truth, but his protective instinct for Alyssa was nothing compared to that. He had made a habit of carrying her everywhere while she still fit in his arms, until his mother had declared it inappropriate. While she was still a little girl, he took Alyssa by the hand and carried her everywhere with him, begged his mother to braid their hair the same way, and wanted Alyssa in every lesson he attended. From the moment he laid his eyes on that crying babe he knew that Alyssa was his to protect. Just because they were not related by blood it wouldn’t, and couldn’t mean, that Alyssa wasn’t Rhaegar's dear sister.

Despite Rhaegar's whimper of protest, she pulled away from his arms and stepped back. "How do you like my dress?" she said, turning round. "I chose the fabric with the queen." As she swung the skirts of her blue dress with gold detailing, Rhaegar realised that Alyssa had turned into a real lady. She was no longer a little girl, and he could not have been the only one to notice.

But that, thanks to seven, would not have led to any marriage contract.

As he took her by the hand and spun her round once more, he looked at the pearls in her hair.  Her dark hair was in a halo at the back of her head and white pearls adorned the tiny braids. But the most beautiful thing was the free curls that fell to her waist. "You look like a real princess." When Alyssa turned to her with a big smile on her face, he reached for the necklace around her neck. "But this is my favourite detail," he said, holding the gold dragon necklace.

"Someone very dear to me gave it to me, it is a necklace I will never take off."

He couldn't help but take Alyssa's face between his palms and put a kiss on her forehead. "I guess the giver realised that you appreciate gifts." His sister giggled and placed a kiss on his cheek. The freckles that adorned her rosy cheeks were becoming less and less prominent, much to Rhaegar's chagrin. As a little girl who would not let anyone but the queen touch her hair, every time she cried, which was far less often than one would expect as a child, Rhaegar would wipe the tears from her freckled cheeks and sing a song for her.

The silver prince longed to return to those days more than anything.

"Are you ready for your wedding?"

"Do I look ready?" he said, pointing to the loose shirt he was wearing. Alyssa's response to this was a small laugh. Then she put a serious expression on her face and took the prince's hand. "I still think I can show you your wedding present."

Taking Rhaegar by the hand, she led him into the room and stood before the carefully fitted cloak. He knew that Alyssa had had a hand in the making of the cloak decorated with Targaryen dragons that Princess Elia would wear over her shoulders, but he had not seen the small detail on the inner collar until the brunette had shown him. A dragon figure, matching the necklace around Alyssa's neck, stood with a crown on its head and three eggs underneath. The gold engraving was quite small, yet exquisite. "A small good luck charm for your marriage," her sister said in a low voice. She fixed her green eyes on Rhaegar, waiting for his reaction. The young prince ran his fingers over the figure woven with golden thread, then took his sister in his arms once more. "This may be the best gift I have ever received," he said as he buried his face in her neck. Alyssa pressed a kiss to the side of his head as she hugged him tightly.

As the two refused to let go of each other, it was Alyssa who broke the silence. "I'm going to miss you." she said in a whisper, ashamed to be heard.

“And I you, dōna mandia”

Alyssa tightened her embrace even more when she heard High Valyrian, her head now buried in Rhaegar's neck.

The silver prince placed his sister's head under his chin and pressed the young girl to him. Here, in his embrace, no one could harm her. Rhaegar would make sure of that.

After all, he was the Prince that was promised, born amidst salt and smoke.

Jaime

“Jaime, will you calm down for a moment?!"

While Cersei Lannister was preparing for the royal wedding, her twin had burst into her room and sent all the servants out. He hadn't stopped shouting from the first moment they were alone.

"Can you see the consequences of what you've done? Why do you think my father plans to return to Casterly Rock the day after the wedding?"

Jaime Lannister had been shaking with rage ever since he heard of his father's plans. He had joined the Kingsguard to stay with Cersei. Even if he wasn't going to protect her specifically, at least one of the twins wouldn't have to be in King's Landing while the other was away. That had been the original plan, but Tywin Lannister did not take it lightly that his heir had been taken from him. He saw the king's decision as a direct insult to himself and his honour. Jaime had only just realised that this was the truth: why else had the king accepted the offer? There could not have been a better opportunity to strike a direct blow at Tywin Lannister's pride. And Cersei Lannister had handed it to him on a golden platter.

"It's only for a little while, and we'll be back." The young girl stood with her arms crossed, an indifference that only increased Jaime's anger.

"How can you be sure? Your silver prince is married and leaving the keep, father has resigned his position - what reason is there for you to return?"

"Jaime," Cersei took a step forward, wearing a smile her twin hated. It was a look of contempt for her brother, telling him he wasn't as smart as she was. "Have you ever taken a good look at Elia Martell?" When the young knight couldn't make sense of what his sister was saying, she continued. "She tries not to show it, but she is very sickly. Some say she can't even handle childbirth."

"Is that what you want?" Jaime said, stepping back. He looked at his sister with disbelieving eyes, wanting to forget what she had said. "Are you praying for the princess' death?"

"I pray for us to be together." Jaime tried to pull away, but Cersei took his hands and brought them to her lips. "I want what's best for you, for us, for our family." She took her twin's face in her hands and fixed her green eyes, Jaime's eyes, on him. "Give me a little time, a little patience and everything will be the way we want it."

What they want? Jaime never wanted this. When he was little, his only dream was to be a famous knight, to rule Casterly Rock after his father. Maybe it was an impossible dream, but he wanted Cersei to be the lady of the castle like their mother once was, and Tyrion to always be by his side with his advice, his younger brother who never hesitated to show his bright mind despite the age difference between them. He wanted to be happy with his  sibling, to make his father proud.

But nothing mattered without Cersei by his side. When his sister placed a kiss on his lips, he couldn't help but respond. When his hands reached for Cersei's long blonde hair, the young girl pulled back. "I have to get ready for the wedding, don't ruin my hair." She was still thinking about how she looked in front of the Targaryen prince. Jaime couldn't help but laugh, even if it wasn't sincere.

"Yes, my lady."

He headed for the door, trying to silence the sick feeling gnawing at him, but he couldn't help but look at her one last time before he left. His sister, his other half.

The one for whom he would burn everything.

Rhaella

In the Sept of Baelor, the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms stood at the foot of the stairs with her young son in her arms, Jaime Lannister, the newest member of the Kingsguard, behind her, and Alyssa Rivers beside her. Rhaegar, Rhaella's pride and hope, stood beside the High Septon with a sincere smile on his face, watching the entire room. The noise and bustle of the nobles filling the room was enough to disturb Viserys, for the little prince was not used to crowds and people he did not recognise. Rhaella wanted more than anything to give her youngest son a childhood as free as Rhaegar's, but her brother, and her husband, were fiercely against it. Aerys had never been afraid to project the pain of his own fears onto those around him.

"I want to go," little Viserys murmured as he clung to his mother's neck. He must have thought that if he hide his head through the silver curls, no one would see him.

"Not now, ıssa byka zaldrīzes," the queen said as she placed a kiss on her son's head. "Don't you want to watch your brother's wedding?" Viserys raised his violet eyes to his mother, tears threatening to roll down his cheeks.

Rhaella was tired. Tired of carrying her young son through the crowds, tired of the wedding celebrations that had been going on for days, tired of the nobles who would not leave her side because they saw her after so long, and tired of seeing that her husband was still useless. She took no active part in running the kingdom, Aerys had made sure of that when he had locked her in the palace to bear heirs, but she was the only ruling figure the people saw.

Her and Rhaegar.

Alyssa touched Viserys' back softly as the queen tried to think of excuses to persuade her son. "Would you like me to take you for a while?" she said and lowered her voice, moving closer to the prince. "I can sing you a song while we wait for the princess."

Song or no song, Viserys was eager to throw himself into Alyssa's arms. Rhaella thanked Alyssa silently as she handed her son to the young girl. Her little girl had grown up and was now a big sister to Viserys. Gone were the days of Alyssa and Rhaegar running hand in hand through the keep’s corridors; Rhaegar was marrying to take his place as Prince of Dragonstone, and Alyssa was becoming a true lady. Rhaella had asked her to stand by her today over her objections, and she was sure her son agreed with her. It helped, of course, that Aerys Targaryen was nowhere to be seen.

As she studied Alyssa, she couldn't help but notice how much the brunette resembled her mother. Especially with Viserys in her arms, she resembled Elys Rivers in her final years. In Rhaegar's first years on this world, Elys was always by Rhaella's side. Shaera was very fond of Rhaegar because he was her first grandchild, so understandably Elys was always around to watch Rhaegar grow up. She had held the prince in her arms, just as Alyssa now held Viserys, tossing her golden hair and entertaining the baby. Now Rhaella longed for her mother's old friend to be here to see her daughter grow up. Alyssa looked up as a hand placed on her shoulder, her green eyes sparkling, just as Elys's had once done.

(Jaime Lannister stared at the girl cradling the little prince. The silver-haired prince had his head buried in the young girl's neck, and Alyssa Rivers was humming a song, swaying slightly, but Jaime couldn't quite make out the words. He looked as peaceful in the bastard's arms as he did in his mother's arms. Although her appearance today was nothing short of a princess. The sleeves and skirts of her blue dress were decorated with gold embroidery, and white pearls sparkled in her hair. It was plain compared to the appearance of many of the ladies who came to watch the wedding, but it was enough to attract attention.

The young knight did not understand what was so special about this girl. So close to the royal family, yet so isolated, Alyssa Rivers did not seem to be complaining. On the contrary, there was a love for the queen and both princes that was easily read in her gaze. It was as if she had put all her love into her two green eyes, as if she wanted every beholder to understand. It was not naive, but rather the unrequited kind of love that she fully believed the other deserved.

Jaime couldn’t imagine anyone would look at him like that.)

The doors of the Sept opened noisily and everyone in the hall, including Rhaella, turned to the princess as she entered. Her dear friend's only daughter was to be Rhaegar's wife today. She wished the Princess of Dorne were here, but the young bride was accompanied only by her uncle, clutching her red skirts and holding onto her uncle’s arm with one hand as she walked. The Martell Princess was kind, and though Rhaella had not had much time to spend alone with her, she saw sincerity in her eyes. She knew Rhaegar would treat her well, and even if it wasn't a marriage that began in passion, that didn't mean there couldn't be love between them. At least a friendship could be forged between the two.

Lewyn Martell stepped back and took his place beside Jaime Lannister as Elia came to the front of the steps. She did not miss to snip to the queen before going up to Rhaegar. When the two faced each other in front of the High Septon, Jon Connington handed the red and black cloak to his friend from where he stood next to Rhaegar. Rhaella’s silver son laid the cloak on his bride's shoulders to declare that he had taken her under his protection.

High Septon joined their hands and began to wind the fabric. “In the sight of the Seven, I hereby see you these two souls, binding them as one for eternity. Look upon one another and say the words.”

Rhaegar was first to speak.

“Father. Smith. Warrior. Mother. Maiden. Crone. Stranger. I am hers, and she is mine, from this day, till the end of my days.”

Elia, who had not taken her gaze from Rhaegar's lilac eyes, repeated with a big smile on her face.

“Father. Smith. Warrior. Mother. Maiden. Crone. Stranger. I am his, and he is mine, from this day, till the end of my days.”

(Alyssa's heart ached as she watched the ceremony with Viserys in her arms as she realized she would never have a wedding like this, it was becoming all too real to her that she would never be united with anyone.)

High Septon untied their hands and Rhaegar presented the nobles their new princess before placing a kiss on her lips.

Chapter Text

Elia

Elia Martell watched the waves of Blackwater Bay lapping against the shore, trying to see her next home. Dragonstone was close enough by ship, Rhaegar had said; it had been much shorter when dragons ruled over Westeros. Elia remembered from her study of Targaryen history that Half Year Queen Rhaenyra and her uncle Prince Daemon had made a race of flying between King's Landing and Dragonstone in their youth.

As she involuntarily stroked her belly, she thought of her future children, if things had been different, perhaps they too would have had dragons to rule the sky. But the dragons were gone. All that remained of them were the skulls that adorned the throne room of the Red Keep. The Dornish princess could not take her eyes off Balerion. The glorious dragon on whose back Aegon the Conqueror had brought all of Westeros to its knees. The dragon that had won every battle he had fought, the dragon that had given Aegon dominion over everywhere he wanted. Everywhere but Dorne, she couldn't help thinking with a smile.

"What makes you smile like that?" Rhaegar pressed a kiss to the side of her head to get her attention. "I think you are too excited about the voyage."

"I can't wait to get out to sea." When the silver-haired prince smiled at her, Elia rose on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his lips. It was a lucky marriage, she thought; Rhaegar really was dream prince of every girl in the realm. She had seen it in the week they had been married.

"Right after we say our goodbyes," he said, leading his wife by the waist to the group walking towards them. Alyssa Rivers was walking a little ahead with Queen Rhaella, the Kingsguard assigned to protect her, and Prince Viserys in her arms. Elia had a special sympathy for this girl. This girl, to whom both the Queen and the princes were infinitely fond of, could have lived like a real princess if not for the stupid rules of Westeros. If she were in Dorne, the queen would probably even adopt her. But here, this beautiful little thing was trying to prove herself, most of the time in silence with a sweet smile. Elia would talk to Rhaegar about inviting her to Dragonstone, and she was sure he would be delighted.

When she reached them, Elia wanted to bow to the queen, but Rhaella took the new member of the Targaryen family by the hand and straightened her. "You are my daughter now," she said as she embraced the princess, "no need for such formalities outside of court." Meanwhile, Rhaegar was lifting his younger brother out of Alyssa's arms and into the air. Elia turned to Alyssa as the little prince's laughter brought a smile to the faces of everyone around. "I would love to welcome Rhaegar's siblings to Dragonstone one day, perhaps you and Viserys could come along."

She was definitely not prepared for Alyssa's reaction.

Young girl’s pupils suddenly dilated, her breaths became more frequent, the pinkness in her cheeks disappeared and her face turned the colour of lime. Her lips parted as if she wanted to say something, but no sound came out. "Alyssa?" Elia approached the green-eyed girl and took her trembling hand. Compared to her dark skin, Alyssa's fingers looked lifeless. "No," the young girl finally murmured. She was turning her head from side to side as she said this.

As consciousness returned to her eyes, Alyssa fixed her gaze on Elia and said in almost a whisper, "Viserys must not go to Dragonstone." Elia couldn't make sense of what the girl said, but she pulled Alyssa to her and hugged her tightly. When she locked eyes with Rhaegar, she smiled soothingly at her husband. The Silver Prince returned her smile and turned his attention back to his mother and brother. "Why not? Why can’t he go to Dragonstone?"

"What?" Alyssa blinked and took a deep breath, trying to focus her gaze as if she didn't know what she was saying. "Viserys is still - he's small, he's small, travelling will be hard on him."

"Of course, you're right."

Elia took the young girl's hand and smiled in a way she hoped would comfort her. If she were to stay in King's Landing for a while longer, she might well pursue it, but now she didn't have a few extra minutes to spare. He placed one last kiss on Alyssa's cheek before turning to say goodbye to the queen, and the little prince in her arms.

(Watching the conversation between Elia and Alyssa, Rhaegar approached his sister to say goodbye. He blamed the trembling of the young girl's lips and the tears gathering at the corners of her eyes on their parting. He and Alyssa had never been so far apart for such an indefinite period of time, and he was going to miss his little sister terribly.

Still, she couldn't make sense of her whole body trembling as he hugged Alyssa).

Standing on the deck with Rhaegar holding her hand, Elia couldn't help but wonder when and under what circumstances she would return to King's Landing.

Alyssa

Alyssa spent the day trying to convince herself that the fear she felt at Princess Elia's offer to take Viserys to Dragonstone was ridiculous. She didn't leave the little boy's side for a moment until darkness fell. When she put her head on the pillow, she told herself that everything would be fine.

But what happened in her dreams was a different scenario.

She could not see anything clearly. As a huge storm darkened everything, huge waves crashed on the black beaches of Dragonstone, ringing the ears with thunder. Alyssa was cold to the bone, but she was wearing nothing but her white nightgown. As she pushed her wet hair from her face, she entered the castle and started walking through the corridors she had walked many times when she was a little girl. As she progressed, the sound of screams came closer, the screams of a woman.

When she found the room that was the source of these agonised cries, Alyssa tried to enter but was unsuccessful. No matter how hard she pushed the iron locks, she could not open them, while the screams continued to rise. Alyssa started banging on the door, she had to get in, she had to help the woman suffering inside, but she was powerless. "Open the door!" she shouted, but it was impossible for her voice to be heard in this storm.

Nevertheless, she heard a voice from inside, a wail too quiet to be directed at herself. "Mother," a feeble voice pleaded. Alyssa couldn't tell if it was addressing the woman whose screams that made Alyssa's blood run cold, or if it was begging Seven for a little help.

As Alyssa gave up and turned her back to the door, a movement at the end of the corridor caught her eye: a woman. Even though her long silver hair was blown by the winds coming into the castle, Alyssa could make out the face of the woman watching her with the torch in her hand. It was impossible not to notice those eyes. One green, one blue. The woman in white started to walk away after making eye contact with Alyssa. Forgetting the screams, Alyssa chased after the woman, but the ground was slipping under her feet, not allowing her to move forward. "Wait!" she shouted, but the woman did not even bother to turn round. When she took the light of the torch and left Alyssa in the darkness, the young girl began to wept, until the storm subsided and the strong winds stopped threatening to break the windows.

When Alyssa's tears subsided, the floor was dry, and sunshine lighted her way, but she was no longer in Dragonstone. As she looked around with her green eyes, she realised she was on the steps of a tower.

And from the top of the tower came screams.

This time Alyssa was not going to fail. She grabbed the white skirts of her nightgown and ran to the top of the tower, these screams belonged to a younger woman, but her pain was no less than the other woman. When Alyssa reached the top the door was open, the small room was empty except for the bed where a young girl was lying, her dark hair covering her face. Alyssa looked first at the sword leaning against the foot of the bed, then at the two pairs of eyes questioning her.

When she opened her eyes, she was sweating profusely, but she was in bed in her room in the Red Keep. She was struggling to control her breath, holding her left side with one hand. She could hear her heart beat in her ears.

It was all a bad dream, a nightmare. There was no storm outside, a light breeze made the young girl breathe a sigh of relief. But she knew she couldn't go back to sleep in this state, so she cautiously got out of bed and threw a shawl over her. There was nothing some honeyed milk couldn't cure.

Jaime

It was not something Jaime had expected when Ser Jonothor Darry appeared at the end of the corridor not even an hour after the queen had retreated to her room. The Kingsguard gave Jaime an apologetic look and then went inside. When the door opened again, there was Queen Rhaella, walking with her head held high next to Ser Jonothor. When her lilac eyes found Jaime, the queen was looking at him with a motherly expression on her face. "Oh sweet boy," her voice was like a whisper, Jaime wasn't sure if he actually heard the queen.

In the centre of the two Kingsguards, The Queen of the Seven Kingdoms walked forward with her head held high, holding her red skirts, her loose silver hair swaying. Perhaps she had let it down for her ladies to braid before she went to sleep, but they hadn't had the chance.

Jaime realised they had reached the king's chambers when he saw Ser Gerold Hightower waiting at the door. The commander of the Kingsguard was standing at the door with a look similar to Ser Jonothor's. Before opening the door for her, he bowed his head and greeted the queen. He had a look on his face as if he wanted to bow down and fall into her skirts. Rhaella Targaryen returned the knight's greeting with a smile, looking the most calm and peaceful of them all.

Until the door closed behind her.

Jaime understood why the queen had been summoned, but he couldn't make sense of the shouting coming from the room. The king's booming voice was the most audible, with the occasional noise of objects being thrown or insults hurled by the queen. But it was the queen's screams that disturbed the young knight the most. They came suddenly, as if the queen had tried to suppress her pain for as long as she could, but her strength was failing.

When he looked at his brothers in arm who were supposed to protect the king, he realised that they had both closed their eyes. Ser Gerold was clutching his sword tightly, as if he was praying. Jaime wanted to pull himself back, to get lost in his mind, but the ongoing screams prevented him.

"Didn't we swear to protect the king and his family?" he finally said, turning to the two knights standing in front of the door. "Doesn't that mean protecting the queen as well?"

"Not from him."

Jaime turned his gaze in the direction of the voice and saw Alyssa Rivers holding the candle that lit the way with one hand and the white skirt of her nightgown with the other. "Am I right, Ser Gerold?"

The commander of the Kingsguard was looking at the young girl with tired eyes, surprised to see her in front of the king's chambers at this time of night. Alyssa took slow steps to Jaime's side, standing right in front of the door, in front of the other two knights, as if demanding to be let in. "You should be resting in your chambers at this hour, Alyssa."

"So should the queen, but here we are."

With perfect timing, an insult shouted by the queen was heard from the room. Jaime looked at the young girl beside him and saw a pair of green eyes fixed on Ser Gerold. The look she gave him was heavier than the insults the queen had hurled in the last hour, so much that the Kingsguard finally averted his gaze and lowered his eyes to the floor. As Jaime felt sorry for Ser Gerold, Alyssa's gaze turned to him. "Do you see the true face of the Kingsguard? They wait at the gate so their king won't be disturbed while their queen is tortured inside."

"Alyssa," Ser Jonothor said, clearing his throat, "what goes on in the bedroom of a husband and wife is no one's business."

"We all know the real name of what goes on in there, something not even a simple lord would’ve put his daughter through such thing.”

She was a girl, not even a woman, and a bastard, but her words made Jaime's eyes narrow. Alyssa's loyalty to Rhaella Targaryen was evident from the way she spent every minute with the queen, except while she was with the princes, but to throw herself in front of the Kingsguard like that was nothing short of foolish.

Jaime didn't know how to react when Alyssa turned her gaze back to him. The shouts from the room clawed at the walls inside his head, and the young knight wanted covered his ears with his hand, to not to hear anything. If the Rivers girl continued to look at him like that, he would have to close his eyes too, the green eyes staring at him seemed to be begging, the girl who knew that she could not do anything was asking for Jaime's help.

But what could Jaime Lannister do on his own?

Ever since his father left his duty as Hand of the King, took his sister and left him in King's Landing, Jaime was alone. He walked in his golden armour among dozens of people he didn't know. He wasn't like Cersei, he wasn't raised to run court life. He had no interest in such a life. He wanted to be a knight, to fight in battles and win honours, to be a swordsman like Arthur Dayne. Well, Jaime had joined the Kingsguard, but since Sword of the Morning had gone to Dragonstone for the safety of Prince Rhaegar and his wife, he had no chance to learn from him.

Even if he did, he had no use for it. His job was to be the Queen's shadow, and said queen spent most of her days locked in her chambers. The only people Jaime saw outside of meal and rest hours were see as the of Prince Viserys and the queen, and Alyssa Rivers.

After the bastard in question had realized that Jaime wasn't going to do anything, she shook her head and backed away, leaning against the stone wall opposite the door. When Jaime looked at Ser Gerold and Ser Jonothor, he saw that they did not object. It was like they were used to it.

The four of them stood in front of that door until the candle carried by Alyssa Rivers was half melted. Jaime's gaze involuntarily shifted to the candlelight and then to Alyssa's face. Although the young girl remained silent, she could not control the tears rolling down her cheeks. Every time she used the sleeves of her white nightgown to wipe her face, Jaime noticed Ser Jonothor's frown grown deeper in his face.

When the door opened, Rhaella Targaryen appeared, her red dress clumsily thrown over her, her silver hair in knots, but most noticeable were the bruises on her neck. They looked like fingerprints, and Jaime believed he could count all ten of King Aerys' fingers in them.

The queen left the chambers with her head held high, and as she hurriedly closed the door behind her, she noticed Alyssa Rivers. She took quick steps forward and cupped the girl's face with trembling fingers. "My sweet girl," she said as she brushed Alyssa's curls from her face, "what are you doing here?"

"I could not find sleep," Alyssa smiled sweetly, as if she had not spent the last hour standing and weeping. When Rhaella heard this, she gave the young girl a peck on the cheek and took Alyssa's arm. "I'll ask them to make us some honeyed milk, you can spend the night in my chambers."

Jaime caught Alyssa Rivers' eye for a moment as he followed the two that walked away with quick steps. He wanted to apologise for not doing his duty, for not protecting the queen. But Alyssa only smiled at him, a little pitying and a little consoling.

Chapter Text

Rhaella

Rhaella Targaryen had forgotten how long she had been standing in front of the mirror. 

When she opened her eyes in the morning, every part of her body ached, and she barely managed to sit up in bed. Alyssa, who had spent the previous night on the sofa in the room, had awoken at the sound of her voice and had moved quickly to bring pillows to support her back. The young girl's struggles were breaking Rhaella's heart.

To protect this girl entrusted to her care  should have been Rhaella's duty, just as it was Rhaella's duty to protect her own children. But now it was Alyssa who ran to everything, who stood by Viserys' side, who was a harbour for Rhaegar to clear his head. This dainty little girl. As she walked around her, Rhaella wanted to stop her, to take her in her arms, to apologise, but she was powerless to do so. Instead, she took the young girl's hand and asked her to spend the day with Viserys. As Alyssa stared at her with her green eyes, Rhaella understood that the young girl did not want to go, so she stated that she did not want Viserys to be alone. Alyssa reluctantly agreed to leave the queen alone, not forgetting to place a kiss on her cheek before leaving.

When she was sure she was alone, Rhaella stood up and walked over to the mirror opposite the window, trying to ignore the pain that wracked her entire body. Her neck was covered in red marks, which stood out against her fair skin. There was a small wound on her swollen lip, which drew attention from the scratches on her face. When her nightgown fell from her shoulder, Rhaella realised that the marks did not end there. She hadn't noticed any of this when she had changed in the dark of night with Alyssa's help. She didn't want to see any more, she didn't have the strength to stand anyway. As she collapsed on the marble floor, tears began to fall from her eyes. She could do nothing but cry and she hated it. She hated her parents for marrying her off to Aerys in defiance of all her pleas, she hated the court full of fools as they continued to flatter Aerys instead of rubbing his wrongs in his face, she hated Denys Darklyn, the fool who had held Aerys captive for six moons and turned him into the monster he was now, and most of all she hated herself. What a weak queen she was, unable to protect herself, let alone her children.

As her sobs grew louder, the door opened swiftly. Jaime Lannister burst in, one hand on his sword. He froze when he saw the queen collapsed on the floor in the centre of the chambers, not a single threat on sight.

Although she tried to calm herself by covering her mouth with her hand, she could not stop, her body continued to tremble and tears continued to flow. While Jaime stood, Rhaella continued to cry, as she couldn't do anything else. When the tears subsided, she held out her hand, and the blond knight hurriedly leaned over and guided the queen to her small chair. Ignoring her pain, she sat up straight and turned to Jaime. "Send me Lyra Flowers."

Olenna Tyrell had sent Lyra specially from Highgarden. Rhaella thought she was trying to get rid of Luthor Tyrell's bastard, but this girl bore no resemblance to the former lord of Highgarden. She was a small but resourceful young girl, stood out amongst the other girls by always keeping her light-coloured hair short. She was quieter than the others, and when she spoke, she always spoke her mind. Right now Rhaella had no patience for fools who averted their eyes or spoke as if nothing had happened. 

When Lyra arrived, she only looked at the queen for a few seconds, then hurriedly picked out a dark red dress and a dark shawl. As Rhaella sat there, the girl moved quickly around the chambers, gathering what she needed. At last she came to Rhaella and helped her into the dress she had chosen. She combed the queen's silver hair, removing all the knots, then wrapped the shawl around her neck. After pulling a few strands out of her face in small braids, she powdered the marks on her face. No trace of the night before, nothing.

After thanking her, she sent her away to be alone. She had asked Lyra to move the chair in front of the mirror, and now she sat in front of it, watching herself. She was not the same person she had been a few hours ago. Of course, her life was still the same, but it was not fitting for a queen to collapse on the floor and cry, to feel helpless.

When the door to her chambers opened again, she turned her head to see who had entered unannounced. Lyra Flowers entered carrying a pitcher and a mug. "Lady Alyssa and the prince are in the garden," Lyra murmured as Rhaella took a sip of wine, handing the young cup to the queen.

The garden? 

Rhaella couldn't help but smile at Alyssa's little rebellion. What better way to defy Aerys than to ignore his rule about the little prince? "By themselves ?"

“Ser Barristan Selmy was with them."

At least she hadn't gone that far. Her brother's -her husband's- paranoid rules included Viserys being under surveillance and inside the keep at all times. But according to the queen, the garden could just as well be inside the keep.

Finishing the rest of the wine in the goblet, she sent Lyra on ahead. She took another look at herself in the mirror, making sure everything was covered. The scar on her lip was the only thing she couldn't hide, and she would wear it as a badge of honour. The pain still haunted her, but the wine had given her some relief. Seeing her son and getting out in the open air should made her feel even better.  

When she left her chambers, Jaime followed her without a word. She could walk with her head held high like the night before, only at a slower pace. When she reached the stairs, she took a deep breath and approached the banister, glancing sideways with each step to see if Jaime was with her. The Lannister boy looked very much like the friend Rhaella had once passed arm in arm in these corridors. Cersei Lannister, because of her gender and the long hair that she tossed with every step, of course resembled Joanna more, but the young girl's arrogant gaze was very much like her father's. The worried looks Jaime was giving her now were closer to what she was used to seeing on Joanna. 

By the time she reached to the gate, she was exhausted, even if she had only just come down. When she stopped to catch his breath, Jaime offered his arm to the queen, even in armour, and Rhaella was not about to refuse him. When she entered the garden, she did not let go of the young knight until she saw her son playing among the flowers.

(Alyssa couldn't help but pay attention when she saw the pair looking in their direction. Jaime Lannister was coming on queen’s arm, not behind her as usual. The Lannister boy was the same age as Alyssa, but on the queen's arm, sword at his waist, walking with his head held high, he looked like a man.)

"Mother!" 

Viserys threw up his little arms at the sight of her, waved the wooden dragon he held in one hand, and ran towards her. As she let go of Jaime's arm, Rhaella bent down and took her son in her arms. The scent of the flowers he had been playing with permeated his silver hair. When she pulled back, the smile on her little prince's face made Rhaella smile too. The boy who did not even see the corridors of the palace often must have been ecstatic in the garden. She pressed kisses to his chubby cheeks and then to his silver hair. "Aly will make us flower crowns!" 

Indeed, as Alyssa came to them with a basket full of flowers, the little petals that were smeared on the dark skirts of her dress attracting attention.

(As mother and son embraced, Jaime and Alyssa stood facing each other on either side of them. Alyssa turned her gaze first to the Targaryens and then to Jaime. Jaime did not know what to make of these looks. The night before, Alyssa had asked him for help, but she hadn't blamed him. In the morning, when she left the queen's chambers, she had given him a look like the night before. Jaime was annoyed by this situation, not understanding, or rather being unable to understand made him angry. He wanted Alyssa to take her green eyes off of him).

"I will have a crown, just like my father's!" 

Rhaella's smile fell at Aerys' mention, embracing her son once more, not letting go this time.

As they sat in the shade with the Kingsguard in tow, Alyssa selected flowers from the basket and made three crowns, one for Viserys, one for Rhaella and one for herself. When she looked at the remaining flowers in the basket, the young girl said with a big smile on her face that she could make the knights a small bracelet of good luck, sadly not a crown. Ser Barristan refused with a smile, while Jaime pouted, showing that he was offended. Rhaella thought Alyssa would be disappointed, but on the contrary, she laughed:

“My apologies good ser.”

Alyssa

Alyssa Rivers had never liked the throne room. 

Rhaegar had dragged her here by hand many times when she was little. Together they would name the dragons and tell the stories of their riders. Perhaps it was funny, but Alyssa's favourite had always been Meleys. As a little girl, she would sit for hours in front of this skull, the only remains of the Targaryen princess's dragon, the Red Queen, after whom she was named. Rhaegar always smiled with pride when he spoke of his eight times grandmother. Alyssa Targaryen was the mother of Rogue Prince Daemon and the grandmother of Queen Rhaenyra. She grew up following her brother and her husband, Spring Prince Baelon, and became the pride of the Good Queen Alysanne. One of her eyes, like Alyssa Rivers', was green. Rhaegar told that Alyssa's mother, Elys Rivers, really did resemble her ancestor with her silvery-gold hair. "I remember her vaguely," Rhaegar had said many years ago, "but she had a beauty above most. Who knows, perhaps she was the bastard of a family with Valyrian ancestry."

Not even her mother had ancestors, let alone Alyssa. All she had of her homeland was a surname that said she was from the Riverlands, but Elys Rivers left nothing of her family when she left this world. Even of her mother, Alyssa had nothing but stories.

But here, in the throne room, listening to Rhaegar tell of his ancestors and dragons, Alyssa felt she belonged.

Until this was taken away from her.

She must have been eight or seven, she couldn't remember for sure. Rhaegar had awakened her in the early morning light, bursting into her room through secret passages. In their nightgowns, hand in hand, they ran through the passages to the throne room. As Rhaegar hummed a song, Alyssa ran to Meleys as she always did. She did not know what courage she had that day, but she dared to touch Meleys' chin. She rounded the skull without lifting her hand but the spell was broken when she was suddenly yanked off her back and thrown to the ground. "Bastard!" King Aerys shouted. Alyssa vividly remembered the ferocity in those purple eyes and the black circles that told the king had not slept for days. "How dare you touch the memory of my ancestors!" Rhaegar ran from near Ghiscar's skull and tried to get his father's attention, but the king dragged Alyssa by the arm and threw her across the room. Ser Barristan Selmy and Ser Gerold, the commander, came running, but like Rhaegar, they could not make themselves heard by the king. Alyssa's head was buzzing as the little girl looked up and stared at the Iron Throne. 

Aerys Targaryen did not deserve this throne.

Years later, standing in the throne room with Viserys and Ser Barristan behind them, Alyssa's thoughts had not changed much. Rhaegar was the one who deserved this throne, and Alyssa looked forward to the day when her brother would be king. 

"Aly?"

Alyssa was jolted out of her memories by the little prince calling her. She closed the gap between them with quick steps and bend down to Viserys’ level. "Yes, my little dragon?"

"Which one is that?" Viserys held his wooden dragon close to him with one hand while pointing to the large skull closest to the throne with the other. 

"That is Balerion the Black Dread. He was Aegon the Conquerer's mount."

"And Maegor? Cruel?"

"Yes, that is true." she said as she placed a kiss on the little prince's head. The stories she told were starting to stick in his mind. “And Princess Aerea and at last, your namesake, the first King Viserys.”

“Why can’t I have a dragon then?”

“They’re all dead, my love, the last of the dragons died a century ago.” 

Viserys pursed his lips as he held onto his wooden dragon with both hands. This unhappy expression did not suit his small face. "Why are they dead?"

Alyssa smiled involuntarily and stood up, holding Viserys' hand. She walked further into the throne room among the skulls and stopped in front of Vhagar. "This is a story you will learn later, but in short, the dragons fell victim to the greed of the Targaryens. They drove the dragons that gave them the skies to war with each other."

"Why?"

Alyssa let out a short laugh as she realised that Viserys had finally reached that age where he was questioning everything. Her gaze shifted to Balerion as she thought of an answer.

The black skull was closest to the throne, a foolish decision given its size, but Alyssa's heart was beating so fast as she stared at Balerion that she could think of nothing else. It was as if it wasn't a skull standing in front of her, but the Black Dread in the flesh. How else could she explain the goose bumps and the gasping for breath? The skull was right in front of her, nothing had changed, but Alyssa felt a warmth. She could have sworn the dragon's breath was licking her face.

And for a moment, in less than a second, flames filled Alyssa's vision. 

"Aly?"

The panting brunette looked up at the prince calling her name. She smelled a strange odour, as if all the humidity had disappeared and she was in the dust at an hour when the sun was high in the sky. That would explain Alyssa's hot flush.

“My Lady?”

When she heard Ser Barristan's voice, she realised that he had not answered Viserys. The little boy was sullenly hugging his dragon, his sad eyes fixed on Alyssa. She was neglecting her little one, and no amount of confusion could excuse it. She took Viserys in her arms and turned her back to the Iron Throne. “I crave some lemon cakes, don’t you too?”

Tyrion

When his father and sister returned to Casterly Rock, Tyrion realised that his days of rest were over. His disappointment was compounded when he learnt that Jaime wasn't with them either. 

The last time he had seen his brother was a year ago, Jaime Lannister had followed Brynden Tully shortly after the incident in which all of Tyrion's pride had been destroyed and he had experienced the greatest shame he could experience in his life. Now he was locked up in King's Landing as a member of the Kingsguard. 

To Tyrion, it all seemed ridiculous. One of Jaime's greatest ambitions in life was to be Lord of Casterly Rock. Now he couldn't even be heir. Who would be the head of the Lannister house after Tywin Lannister died? Tyrion? Just the thought of it was enough to make young Lannister laugh.

But what surprised him even more was that Cersei had returned. His father might have taken losing his heir as a toll to his pride, but how could Cersei leave Jaime behind? Tyrion knew that his brother and sister couldn't bear to be away from each other, perhaps because they were twins, the two of them complemented each other. Jaime had visited her many times during the months Cersei had spent at the court. 

Tyrion would have preferred it to be his brother who returned to Casterly Rock. Jaime didn't treat Tyrion like dirt underfoot like his twin, or ignore him like his father. He was the only one around him who truly recognised and appreciated Tyrion's intelligence. Some nights, when he couldn't sleep, Jaime would grab a random book from the library and barge into Tyrion's room and ask to have it read to him. It wasn't that his brother couldn't read, it was just hard for him. But that didn't make Jaime stupid. On the contrary, the fact that he was aware of his shortfall and asked for support from someone else also exalted him in Tyrion's eyes.

As he watched Lannisterport from the window of his room, Tyrion's hand went to his wine goblet, but both it and the decanter were empty. "Another successful evening," he thought as he climbed down from his chair. 

He could have summoned a servant to ask for more, but he didn't think anyone would take him seriously at this time of night. The Casterly Rock servants were well aware of the little lord's worthlessness.
 
Tyrion left his room, hoping to reach the kitchens, but the stairs were not empty. Cersei and two of her friends were walking down, cloaks on their backs. At the echo of Tyrion's footsteps, all three girls turned to him. Tyrion recognised them, the dark-haired girl, even taller than Cersei, and looking rather frightened, was Jeyne Farman, and the frowning one standing on the other side of his sister was Melara Hetherspoon. "Shouldn't you be asleep at this hour?"

“The same can be said of you, dear sister."

Cersei quickly climbed the stairs, clutching her skirts, and joined Tyrion. When she reached the same step as him, she leaned down, one of the things she did to belittle her brother. She poked Tyrion in the chest with a long finger and narrowed her green eyes. "What I do is none of your business, you little monster. Now go to sleep!"

Though he didn't answer his sister, Tyrion didn't move until Cersei and her friends were out of sight. This wouldn't have happened if Jaime had been there, he thought as he stood in the soft torchlight. If Jaime was there, Cersei would have left Tyrion alone.

What a naive thought that was.

Chapter Text

Jaime

After turning over in his bed one last time, Jaime Lannister threw off his sheet. 

It was frustrating not being able to sleep on one of the rare nights he didn't have to stand outside the queen's chamber. At first he had thought it was the cold coming through the window that kept him from sleeping, but even after he closed the window or pulled the sheet up to his neck, sleep refused to come to him. The solution for Jaime at this point was to drown himself in wine.

He threw on a loose shirt and left his room. It certainly felt good to walk through the torch-lit corridors in the still of the night, without the weight of armour on him. The entire keep was quiet, even most of the servants had retired to their rooms, and Jaime hoped the kitchen would be as well. 

Luck was not on his side tonight.

He headed for the small kitchen used by the servants to ignore a possible crowd, but it was not as empty as he expected. At the candlelit table, two young girls were chatting. With Jaime's arrival, both girls' gazes turned towards him. One of the girls quickly got up from her chair when she realised who was coming. Jaime knew that the girl worked in the service of the queen, she was a girl who grinned among the other ladies with her short hair and hunched posture. The other girl was none other than Alyssa Rivers, who continued to sit comfortably with a shawl thrown over her nightgown. "M'lord," she said as she stood up and gave a quick bow, "what can I do for you?"

"Lyra, he is not a lord! He's a knight, you must address him properly." Alyssa grinned, showing all her teeth as she spoke. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, Jaime noticed the blush covering the young girl's cheeks, and judging by the decanters and goblets on the table, the brunette had had too much wine.

Jaime approached the table as Lyra, not much different from Alyssa, tried to suppress her laughter. "I was hoping to find something to drink. Is there any honeyed wine, from Lannisport?"

Jaime sat across from Alyssa as the servant girl quickly left the kitchen to fetch the wine. "Someone's homesick." the young girl was playing with her hair. She had loosely braided her normally free hair and thrown it over her shoulder. 

"Someone seems to have too much wine."

She laughed at Jaime's remark and reached for the decanter. She refilled her goblet and kept her green eyes on Jaime before taking a sip. "I would offer it to you, but I thought you would despise this wine, good ser, it didn't come from Lannisport after all."

While Alyssa set the goblet back down, Jaime reached for it and took a sip. “Dornish, I assume.”

“You would be correct.”

As Alyssa settled into her chair with a smile on her face, Jaime tried to understand how drunk she was. She spoke fast, but her tongue did not last, her freckled cheeks were flushed, but there was a mischievous look in her green eyes that infuriated Jaime with her knowing look. 

As the two looked at each other, the servant girl came in with a full tray. After putting down the tray carrying a full pitcher and a goblet, she turned to Alyssa. "I need to check the fireplace in the Queen's chamber. It's a cold night."

"Of course, good night Lyra."

"Good night Aly, M'lord."

When it was just the two of them in the kitchen, Jaime poured his own goblet. He leaned back in his chair as he savoured the honeyed wine, Alyssa might have been joking but Jaime was truly homesick. What he wouldn't give to be in his room at Casterly Rock right now. Maybe in Cersei's arms. His twin only stayed in the room until Jaime fell asleep after their union, most mornings, or late at night, Jaime would wake up cold and alone. When that happened, he would grab a random book from his room and go to Tyrion's room, and even though he had trouble reading himself, the monotone of his younger brother's voice would soothe him.

(At Casterly Rock, Tyrion Lannister conflicted about his sister's mysterious escape, unaware that his brother was also thinking about him, wishing he was with him.)

"What is the great burden that keeps you awake at this hour of the night, Ser Jaime?"

"You seem pretty sure I have a problem."

Alyssa put the shawl around her shoulders on the back of her chair, it wasn't actually that hot inside. The young girl must have been drinking longer than he thought. "You're one of the few people awake in almost the entire keep, and you have an expression on your face."

"What expression?"

"The one where you frown and stare blankly. It looks like you're lost in thought, forgetting what's going on around you," Alyssa said, trying to imitate Jaime. But even when she frowned, she didn't look angry, and within a few seconds she was laughing. "Like you're trying to make yourself look older than you really are."

"Why would I need to?" Lannister remained seated, though he set his already empty goblet down on the table. In a seemingly unconscious gesture, Alyssa poured herself a glass of Jaime's wine while she continued to talk.

"Maybe it's because you don't want to look like a little boy. Court is an intimating place after all.”

"Since I'm not a little boy, you can be sure I don't have that problem." He pulled the decanter full of wine from Lannisport to himself and filled his goblet. As he took a big sip, he wanted to laugh at the absurdity of Alyssa's question. Because it was funny! She was a bastard, she didn't know what she was talking about.

"You think yourself a man?"

"You think yourself a child?" Jaime said, emphasising that they were the same age. Alyssa didn't open her mouth to answer, just pouting her pink lips. The young knight had finally managed to silence her! 

She leaned back in her chair and picked up her goblet. Drinking more would do more harm than good, but Jaime didn't care. Only little children didn't know their limits. 

After Alyssa took a sip of her wine, she put the goblet back and her hand went to the gold necklace around her neck. Jaime hadn't realised the necklace was still around her neck. She pulled the end of the necklace out from under her nightgown, revealing the golden dragon symbol. The shape engraved on the locket was more reminiscent of a snake, but its wings left no room for doubt. Alyssa turned her green eyes to the candle closest to them, and as the candle's light reflected on her face, Jaime realised that the young girl's expression was different from the one she normally wore. At the feast where he had first seen her, he had assumed from her serious expression that she was older, but now, with the roundness of youth still in her cheeks, her pouting pink lips, and her thoughtful look, Alyssa Rivers really did look like a sixteen-year-old girl.

Jaime didn't know why he hadn't taken his gaze off her even after he had come to that conclusion. She might be a beautiful girl in the eyes of many, even Jaime couldn't deny that she wasn't ugly, but she was nothing compared to Cersei. Compared to Cersei's forest green eyes, Alyssa's were a much lighter and more complex colour. In the candlelight, Jaime could catch shades of blue in the eyes adorned with long eyelashes. Her hair was long like Cersei's, but unlike to her sister's golden colour, this girl's hair was quite dark. In fact, it was a shade not seen in most people in King's Landing or Riverlands. Though they did look quite elegant when they framed Alyssa's pale face.

Why was Jaime comparing his twin to this bastard?

"I believe..." Alyssa interrupted the silence, raising her gaze to Jaime. Although he didn't understand where this comfort came from, Jaime took a sip of his wine without trying to hide that he was already looking at her. "... we should be allowed. To think ourselves as children I mean. What do we know about life other than what others give us? We don't have the power to go beyond the orders given to us or to object, how can we realize that we have grown up under these conditions?"

"Not every adult can do what you say."

"Because of some stupid scheme." She couldn't focus her gaze anywhere but the candlelight, but Jaime knew she was still talking to him. "What good is growing up in this foolish way? First you take orders from your parents, then from a great lord or a madman sitting in an iron chair, and the cycle continues."

Jaime straightened up in his chair at the king's mention, and Alyssa, realising what she had said, turned back to Jaime. The young knight was used to his father insulting the king behind closed doors, but this girl was nothing more than a bastard living in the palace, raised by royalty. His surprise must have shown on his face, for Alyssa couldn't help giggling. "Are you going to report me for treason, Lannister?"

"I'm not going to tell on a little girl." Jaime Lannister had a smile on his face, perhaps from the wine, perhaps from the way Alyssa was smiling, showing all his teeth. "And what would you do if you didn't have to obey the orders of others?"

Alyssa blinked as if she had not expected such a question, still holding her locket with one hand. "Hmm..." she mumbled before answering. Jaime leaned across the table towards the young girl. "I'd like to live in Dragonstone."

"Dragonstone?"

The girl nodded with a smile and leaned towards Jaime as if to tell him a secret. "I was born there, and when I was young, the queen used to send Rhaegar and me to Dragonstone when she wanted to keep us away from the court. Some might find it depressing or cold, but I have some of my fondest memories there." Jaime leaned his elbow on the table as he pulled his chair forward to get a little closer to her. "There was a cave connected to the sea that Rhaegar and I found, and there was a hole right at the top that let in light all the time. The light entering the cave would reflect directly into the water and it looked so beautiful! I even learnt to swim there." As she continued to speak, the smile on her face grew bigger and her eyes seemed to sparkle even more. "Shortly before Viserys was born, Jon and Arthur came with us, and we spent all our time riding horses. Sometimes we went down to the beach, the sand in Dragonstone is black, but its beauty is unquestionable."

Jaime couldn't help laughing at Alyssa's excited narration. The young girl must have realised she was talking too fast, because she let out a short laugh and pulled back. "So you were born there?" He couldn't help but be surprised for a moment when Alyssa nodded. Her expression of incomprehension prompted the girl to put down her necklace and play with her hair. "My mother was a very close companion of the late Queen Shaera, and she took her to Dragonstone to avoid scandal in the court."

"You're Targaryen in everything but blood," Jaime said without thinking. But Alyssa must have liked it because she nodded again.

“Rhaegar once said ‘Family isn’t always by blood, sometimes it is by love.’ I have no family by blood, but they are my family because of the love we share.”

Love?

Jaime thought of his own family. Tywin Lannister held the family name and honour above all else, but Jaime couldn't remember any show of love from his father for him or his siblings. His mother had always been very affectionate, until...

No, Jaime Lannister's family wasn't made out of love.

Cersei

At the breakfast table at Casterly Rock, Cersei Lannister and her dwarf brother sat across from each other, waiting for their father.

You will wed the king

Cersei's thoughts had been stuck on that frog's words for days. But what bothered her as she fiddled with her fork was that Jeyne Farman had been asking about Melara since their return, and Cersei was considering preventing her from entering the Rock if she kept going like that. If she was so curious, she should have come with them instead of running away. 

Maybe if she had come she wouldn't be here and Cersei could relax for a while.

"You're awfully quiet, sister, out for another night stroll?"

Cersei thought about throwing the fork at Tyrion's head, maybe it would hit one of his ugly eyes. "You seem to have a lot of time to meddle in other people's affairs."

"I have time for everything, but thank you for worrying about me." 

The frog's words echoed in Cersei's mind as she looked at her brother:

And when your tears have drowned you, the valonqar shall wrap his hands about your pale white throat and choke the life from you

Of course, Tyrion would have been the one to do it. But when the time came, Cersei would take care of that, too. She just needed Jaime by her side.

Oh, Jaime being away was driving Cersei crazy. He had taken that oath to be close to her, to protect Cersei. And now? 

The twins were far away and without her brother at Casterly Rock, Cersei felt like she was going mad. She lay alone in her room at night, dreaming of him, maybe his hair had grown longer since she'd last seen him, making him look more like Cersei. 

Cersei couldn't possibly know that, of course, their father had dragged her with him when he left King's Landing. What was he thinking? Cersei had to be as close to Rhaegar as possible. If that stupid frog was right, Aerys and that dornish whore would die and Cersei would be queen. Hasn't he been right before?

Worms will have your maidenhead. Your death is here tonight, little one. Can you smell her breath? She is very close.

Melara was a fool to think Jaime would find an escape from the vows for her. She deserved what she got, she had no right to put herself in such a high position.

No one deserved Jaime, except Cersei. It was a crime that they were so far apart.

"Cersei?"

Tyrion called her by name and she really started to look around. She was lost in her thoughts again. Something Jaime would do quite often, but it wouldn’t suit a lady like herself. She blinked and turned to her brother who had dared to call her.

“You don’t seem well.”

“You don’t worry your ugly head over me, little brother. I’m fine.”

Yeah, she’d be well, when Jaime was there to make her feel safe again.

Alyssa

Like everyone else in the throne room, Alyssa's gaze was fixed on Aerys Targaryen.

While holding court, the king might have been speaking in a calm voice and without swear words, but a closer look revealed the truth.

Alyssa Rivers had spent her entire life watching the king. Her peace, or rather lack of, peace and of those around her, depended entirely on this man. Even as a little girl, Alyssa had stood behind Rhaegar, her eyes fixed on Aerys Targaryen. Behind closed doors the king had always been rude and cruel, it wasn't out of the norm for him to hurt people with his words, but back then he had seemed like a real king. Though he resembled Queen Rhaella in many ways, Alyssa was aware that Rhaegar was taking on the face of the young Aerys Targaryen. At times, the smile on Rhaegar's face as he joked with his friends was reminiscent of the sly smiles his father had shared with Tywin Lannister in the past during the court. 

Now there was nothing left of the man. The king, dressed in black, looking down on everyone from his throne, his silver hair tangled and dirty. From where Alyssa stood, she could see the knots and tangles. His hands, which he rubbed constantly, were marked by long fingernails and the scars left by the swords that made up the Iron Throne. According to the servants, many more scars were hidden beneath his black tunic, including some burns.

At the foot of the throne stood the king's new hand, Owen Merryweather. This pleasure-loving lord had been summoned to King's Landing shortly after Tywin Lannister's departure, and Alyssa had to admit, she had never seen anyone so fawning in her life. This man, who approved of every nonsense that came out of Aerys Targaryen's mouth and was only trying to please the king, could start a war if he wasn't careful what he said. 

After a moment the young bastard decided to turn his gaze to the assembled lords and ladies. She wasn't listening to anyone anyway, she was only there to keep the queen company. A little further back stood Jon Connington, who had recently lost his father and was now head of his house. His red hair was neatly combed, unlike usual, and combined with his long beard, her friend looked older than usual. The symbol of his house hung from the shoulders of his elegant tunic, but before Alyssa could pay more attention to the details, Jon's blue eyes met hers. With a smirk on his lips, Jon Connington looked again like the little boy who ran around the palace gardens with Alyssa. 

(For Jaime Lannister, Aerys Targaryen's court was worse than torture. He tried to pass the time by studying Queen Rhaella's elegant red dress and elaborate silver hair, but he didn't know how much more he could take.

Turning to the young girl standing next to him, he saw that Alyssa Rivers' attention was elsewhere. But before he could withdraw his gaze, Alyssa quickly turned round and covered her mouth with her hand. It was clear from her squinting eyes that she was trying to suppress her smile. 

When she looked sideways at Jaime, a sparkle passed through her green eyes, as if she was sharing a secret with him. After a night of talking by candlelight until the morning, partly because of Alyssa's long insistence, he had started conversing with the young girl. They were not friends, but as two people who were always together... they shared information with one another. It was inevitable, considering that there were not many people of their age around them. 

Besides, Alyssa was not a stupid girl. She had received a good education at court, especially in history. When Queen Rhaella spent time with the little prince, the bastard girl loved to regale those around her with stories from a century ago. And if  she was distracted from her stories, she would be busy with her crafts, she even had mentioned that she was currently working on an embroidery for Elia Martell.

Jaime didn't ask out of curiosity, of course, Alyssa was too talkative and liked to share details about her day. 

In return, Jaime would talk about his life in Casterly Rock, or his time training under Brynden Tully. For some reason, Alyssa was very interested in his stories from when he was a squire. One day, unfortunately, he had blurted out his admiration for Arthur Dayne, and she had blinked her green eyes and proudly told him of her friendship with the Sword of the Morning, promising to praise him to 'Arthur' if Jaime was nice to her. 

For this reason alone, one evening when the young Lannister had been freed from his armour, he had stood over Alyssa as she picked flowers for the queen in the garden and allowed her to make him a charm bracelet. 

Just so Arthur Dayne wouldn't hear anything bad him.)

As the throne room emptied, Alyssa said goodbye with a smile to Jaime Lannister as he walked after the queen, but she didn't take her gaze off the young knight as he turned around. At least not until she was interrupted by a mischievous redhead.

"Tywin Lannister's son seems to have settled in well." Jon Connington took his friend's arm and led the young girl into the garden. Alyssa had no complaints, it was getting colder and she no longer had the problem of sweating every second she spent outside.

"He’s more loved than her sister, that's for sure." she answered Jon without stopping smiling. 

“Cersei shouldn’t be the standard, sweet Alyssa. I'm sure even Tywin can barely stand that girl."

"You're talking about the man's only daughter, be a little more polite."

"Only you would think Cersei Lannister deserves kindness."

As they crossed a path lined with colourful flowers and reached the seashore, they turned their gaze simultaneously to the waves of Blackwater Bay. Ever since Rhaegar and Arthur had travelled to Dragonstone, they had grown accustomed to spending time alone, even if Jon, now a lord, was busier by the day. Alyssa was grateful for Jon's presence, even if they couldn't be together as much as before.

(A silver prince distracted Jon Connington's thoughts as he watched the waves. A prince who had made a new life far away with his lady wife.

Jon knew he was a fool, but not a day went by when he did not think of Rhaegar's lilac eyes. What a curse it was, the absence of those eyes, even in a crowd, made him feel all alone. 

His gaze shifted to Alyssa on his arm, the young girl's pink lips, long eyelashes, tufts of hair blowing in the wind. There was no denying the beauty of his little friend, a beauty that drew the eyes and distracted those around her, despite her young age. Jon should have been happy with someone like that, he should have gone home with a beautiful girl on his arm and started his family.

But in his heart there was, and would remain, only a silver-haired prince).

Alyssa looked up, tired of her friend's silence. She could read the longing in those blue eyes, and it hurt her to know that her friend's heart was aching. 

Some people weren't made for love, alas, and knowing that Jon shared such a fate didn't lessen the pain. She leaned her head on the young lord's shoulder to offer some hope of support, to remind him that she was there for him.

Jon Connington grasped her hand in return and kissed her dark curls.

———————

On Dragonstone, far away from it all, Rhaegar Targaryen stood on a balcony overlooking the black sandy beach. He may have been far away, but his thoughts were with his family. The prince did not hear footsteps approaching him as the wind whipped his silver hair. A little further back, Elia Martell stood nervously, rubbing her stomach with her hand, wondering how she would break the great news to her husband. Knowing that she carried the future of seven kingdoms in her belly was not a burden she could bear alone.

Chapter Text

Arthur

Ser Arthur Dayne smiled as he escorted Prince Rhaegar through the torch-lit corridors of Dragonstone, enjoying the peace they had created on this island. Settling into Rhaegar's rightful castle might have been the best decision she had ever made.

In the last few months since their arrival on Dragonstone, their household had consisted of the honourable prince and princess, a group of knights assigned to Arthur's command for protection, servants, and the princess's ladies-in-waiting. Ashara, Arthur's dear sister, was at the head of the ladies, which was a source of great joy.

The Sword of the Morning thought they had established a sense of security with the order they had set up in the Red Keep, but it was not until they reached Dragonstone that he realised the true extent of the capital's burden. Being able to walk without Varys and Tywin's little spies - Rhaegar had taken every precaution to ensure this did not happen - made Arthur feel like a young man again. Of course, he was still young, only a little over twenty, but being in Aerys Targaryen's Kingsguard had put an indescribable burden on his shoulder.

Now he was protecting Rhaegar, the future king he truly wanted to serve, and his future queen.

When they arrived at the chambers where the sister in question and Princess Elia were, Rhaegar politely asked to be alone with his wife, and Ashara took her place beside her brother, who was waiting at the door with a glance at the prince.

"You're in a good mood today."

"Should I not be?"

"Hm." Ashara narrowed her violet eyes and pursed her lips, an expression she'd been making since she was a little girl, and one that, to be honest, Arthur found rather ridiculous. He didn't know if his sister did it deliberately or if it had become a habit.

"Rhaegar seemed thoughtful again."

"The prince has many things on his mind, Ashara."

The Dayne girl crossed her arms at her brother's reply. She had found it extremely difficult to let go of her old clothes since leaving Dorne, but she had to leave behind her fine silks and nude fashions if she was to survive in the cold climate of Dragonstone. Even now, the dress she wore, more in touch with Westeros style, left the young girl's shoulders and neck bare, though thankfully Ashara's long hair somewhat covered her skin. 

"You don't seem to approve these engagements," Arthur pressed when his sister remained silent.

She looked away from the young knight as if weighing whether she should answer or not, but she could not remain silent. She began pacing back and forth in the corridor, her arms flailing, bored to be still as she spoke, "He should be more occupied with his wife."

Princess Elia? Arthur couldn't help but find that odd, as he thought Rhaegar was a very attentive lord husband by Westeros standards. "I am worried about the Princess, she is growing more tired and frail every day," Ashara continued. Arthur raised one eyebrow, enough for his sister to realise his surprise.

"Isn't that normal, considering she is with child? There's a life in her."

"This much is not normal." Ashara turned again, tossing her raven hair, her eyes fixed on the stone door as if she could see the prince and princess inside, "I am worried about the princess, I have a bad feeling Arthur."

Alyssa

Alyssa had always loved spending time in the queen's chamber. Located on the higher floors of Maegor's Holdfast, Alyssa sat on a cushion next to the bathtub in the centre of the room, enjoying the sunlight streaming in through the windows and the peaceful afternoon. As the beams of light illuminating the large room played tricks of light on the floor, Alyssa examined the tapestries covering the walls. Like many artefacts of the Targaryen dynasty, she noticed a different detail each time she examined the fine workmanship of the tapestries depicting the Valyrians and the dragons together. When Viserys, playing with his wooden dragon in her lap, grunted for attention, she kissed the prince's cheeks and turned her attention back to the queen.  

In the water, Rhaella leaned her head back so that Lyra Flowers could comb her hair more easily. As the scars on her skin grew paler and darker by the day, her spirits improved with the good news.

"I think you could make one of those blankets you made for Viserys. The embroidery was beautiful even then, and I wonder what you will come up with now."

Alyssa was only three and ten years old when Viserys was born and was just beginning to master her stitches. In the intervening three years, she was proud to see the quality and beauty of her work improve, and to know that her progress was being recognised. She thought of Rhaegar's embroidery for his wedding cloak before answering. 

"Sun as well as dragons, perhaps? To represent the Princess's family as well?"

"A splendid idea."

Lyra asked the Queen to close her eyes as the she smiled and settled in her place. After wetting her head with a bowl, she poured her own concoction into the silver hair. According to what Lyra told Alyssa, her mother, who worked under a lady in Highgarden, had taught her how to make it. Even though she was a bastard like Alyssa, her mother had raised her and taught her everything she knew so that she could work like her. She had done a good job, considering that Lyra had been the Queen's special choice of late.

(Rhaella Targaryen looked down at her son sitting on Alyssa's lap while enjoying the warm water and the sweet smells. He raised his head, his violet eyes twinkling, his chubby cheeks puffing out and making curious noises as he showed Alyssa his toy. She joined in Viserys' play with interest, smiling sweetly and placing kisses on the prince's silver hair. Alyssa needed this show of affection as much as the boy in her arms, Rhaella could see it in the gaze of the girl she had raised. Hungry for love, Alyssa Rivers, somewhat selfishly, demanded warmth from everyone around her, but she gave it away many times over. 

Maybe the Alyssa raised by Elys would have been different. Elys Rivers shared the same green eyes, mischievous smiles and cheerful laughter as her daughter, but Shaera Targaryen's lady was more distant. Her attentions were needed by those around her, her love a treasure few deserved. 

Alyssa's loving heart was ready to fall into the hands of many who did not deserve it.)

"Can we go to Dragonstone when the baby comes?" Alyssa turned to the queen, trying to keep the eagerness out of her voice, and out of the corner of her eye she saw Viserys pouting at being interrupted, so she placed the little prince's head under her chin while her arms held him tighter. She longed to see the castle again, now under Rhaegar's rule, to spend time there with her brother. She had not seen Rhaegar or Arthur, who had gone to protect him, for far too long, and she longed for more and more. The letters the prince of Dragonstone sent with the ravens had become a pleasant routine, but it was not enough for Alyssa. She also wanted to spend time with Princess Elia. She hadn't had much time to get close to the princess, and even now she was only aware of her condition through Rhaegar's letters. And Arthur! She felt the absence of the purple-eyed Kingsguard in the keep corridors, she wondered about the knight who had allowed her and Viserys to roam freely, to go riding with Rhaegar undisturbed, but always reassuring in his presence, and about his sister who had settled in Dragonstone as Princess Elia's lady-in-waiting. She had only seen Sword of the Morning's sister a few times in her life, but she was now one of Rhaegar's household, a lady in waiting for Princess Elia. It was easy for her to want to get to know her better.

"No my love,Rhaegar needs to come here and present his son."

"His son?" Alyssa straightened up in her seat, unaware of such information.

"What he needs is an heir, and I want to invoke good until that baby is born otherwise."

The queen was right. Rhaegar might be prince of Dragonstone, but he needed an heir, a son, to cement his claim to the throne. Alyssa's brother had confessed one night that he wished he had a little girl. The heir to the throne whispered into the night as the two lay on the bed in the prince's chambers, Rhaegar resting his head on her stomach, Alyssa playing with Rhaegar's silver hair.

He wanted three children, at least one of them to be a girl. "My own little princess," he said as he gazed up at the ceiling, "a Rhaenys or Visenya." She laughed at that, of course those were the names Rhaegar had chosen. 

"But then you'd need an Aegon."

"Perhaps, but maybe this one would prefer a crown on her sister's head instead of his own."

Alyssa's hand in the silver hair stopped, the smile fading from her lips. Did Rhaegar not know his history? Did he not remember the story that had brought the end of the dragons, that had ended the golden days of his dynasty? 

"Are you not afraid? Of history repeating itself?" She was afraid to lower her green eyes from the ceiling and turn them to the reclining prince, as afraid of the answer she would receive.

“I would protect my daughter, as would her brother and sister.”

“Seems like you got quite the family.”

Neither Alyssa nor Rhaegar moved from their positions, even as the bedside candle melted and the room grew darker and darker. When the young girl closed her eyes, she dreamt of three dragons flying over Dragonstone: one green, one cream-coloured and one black.

Of course, there was always the possibility that Viserys would succeed his brother and be crowned after him. But the thought made Alyssa's heart ache. She did not want Viserys to wear a crown. That iron throne for which wars were fought was diminishing people too much, and Alyssa did not want her little one to share this fate.

"Aly, I'm bored."

The women in the room chuckled at the little prince's pout, including Lyra, who was busy massaging the queen. Alyssa lowered Viserys from her lap and stood up. After smoothing the hem of her dress and bowing to the queen, she led the silver-haired prince by the hand out of the room, where she thought he might have more fun.

Jaime

Jaime Lannister felt most at peace in the training grounds of the Red Keep. As the young man swung the sword he held in his right hand, he thought of it as a continuation of his body, not an object, and likened his steps to a dance.

If there was one thing Jaime would never admit to anyone, it was that he enjoyed dancing too much. It was not difficult for him to liken his steps to dance steps while walking on his opponent. Both the sword and the dance had grace; a barbarian could attack his enemy with any object he could get his hands on, but the sword required labour. It was a different feeling to know that the wielder had spent days, weeks, months on it, carefully watching not only his own movements but also those of his opponent.

And the Seven bless him, Jaime was very good at it. 

He was up against someone from City Watch, he hadn't bothered to learn his name, and the two young men had laid aside their armour as they worked in the sun. He should have been Jaime's second or third opponent of the day, but time was running out and Jaime's patience was wearing thin.

As his sword fell to the dirt floor, the City Watch officer stepped back, a forced smile on his face. He might have been younger among his brother in arms, but he was still older than Jaime. The onlookers in a circle around them were aware of this, and the Lannister boy could pick out the wicked laughter in the crowd. They could laugh all they wanted, they couldn't beat Jaime.

“Marvelous, Ser Jaime!”

It was Ser Barristan Selmy who appeared on the stairs leading down to the training ground. A certain bastard was walking behind the knight. She was holding the skirt of her blue dress with one hand and the hand of the little prince Viserys with the other. The girl had bent slightly so that the silver-haired prince could walk more easily, and had adapted her steps to him. But when they reached the dirt field, she took him in her arms. It was a sensible decision, a small child running around among the soldiers in training was not a wise thing to have.

When he locked eyes with Ser Barristan, he bowed to the older man and thanked him. Everyone in the field stopped to watch the newcomers, Prince Viserys felt the gaze of many on him and nuzzled into Alyssa's neck. Ser Barristan smiled and sent everyone back to work "Prince Viserys requests to watch the trainings."

It was unclear whether Prince Viserys actually had such a request, the little boy - Jaime found it hard to hide the fact that he found it absurd that the demands of a brat should be of such importance - seemed to be busy snuggling as close as he could to the young girl that held him and burying his face in the dark waves.

Jaime smiled involuntarily as he met the green eyes of the girl holding the prince in her arms. Alyssa wore a simple blue dress today, but the fine details of the dress were enough to set her apart from the ladies. He knew the queen had had a variety of outfits made for the bastard girl, Rhaella Targaryen obviously wanted her upbringing to be noticed, it was one of Cersei's complaints that a bastard would walk around the castle in such 'extravagant' dresses. But Alyssa didn't need fancy clothes to be noticed - there was nothing fancy about her attire, according to Jaime's observations, it was Cersei's exaggeration, like many of the things she told him about the Red Keep - her knowing smile and her sparkling eyes were enough for that. Really, how could a person's eyes shine in any light? Jaime thought it was ridiculous.

(When Alyssa locked eyes with Jaime Lannister, she involuntarily took a step backwards. She was used to seeing the young man's face every day, but she had never watched him train before. He was obviously trying to regulate his breathing where he stood, a pink in his cheeks and life in his eyes. His golden hair, shimmering in the sun, was dishevelled from being tossed in different directions, and Alyssa's hand itched with the desire to tidy up the tufts, which nevertheless seemed too soft).

"If that is what our prince wishes," Jaime curtsied, turning to the soldiers circling around him. One officer, who looked younger than the others, stepped forward with a confident smile on his face and unsheathed his sword.

It was show time for Jaime.

(Left and right, back and forth, swords clashed and the auburn-haired man struggled to defend himself, but he didn't stand a chance against Jaime Lannister. His lips curled in a smug smile and his expression didn't falter. Alyssa took a few steps back, thinking of Viserys, but she couldn't take her gaze off Jaime. He wasn't thinking as he swung his sword, there was no time to think, but he stepped forward as if he knew his opponent's next step, putting the City Watch officer on the defensive. Alyssa didn't understand why they didn't work with wooden swords, Jaime looked like he could kill him in one move. But even in such brutality, the Lannister was able to seem graceful. He moved with light steps in a way Alyssa could not explain, never backing down.

"I'm surprised Jaime Lannister didn't receive his knighthood sooner," she said to Ser Barristan, the Kingsguard stood by her side, as he was charged with protecting the prince.

"His skill with the sword is unquestionable, but knighthood is more than that little lady."

Alyssa's thoughts on the matter were debatable, but for the moment she preferred to watch Jaime Lannister playfully outwit his opponent).

Jaime could have just thrown the poor man's sword, but right now he wanted to show off. So the older man found himself on his knees, sword dropped. When Jaime's sword touched his neck, for a moment he feared for his life, the young Kingsguard saw it in the eyes that were fixed on him. How easy it would have been, a flick of the wrist and the other's fate would have been erased forever. Everything was left to Jaime's judgement and pleasure.

The sound of clearing throat brought him out of his reverie and he turned back to Ser Barristan. His brother in arm had a look on his face, which Jaime was unable to puzzle. But the main message was clear: the entertainment was over.

"You fought good," he said as he stepped away from the man he had brought to his knees. He wanted to say 'though it wasn't still enough' but the words didn't come out, and he had a feeling that Ser Barristan, who was watching him, wouldn't approve of his comments. 

Instead he stepped in front of Alyssa Rivers, but his gaze was on the little prince "One day you will wield such a sword, Your Royal Highness." He wanted to keep his attention on this little noble troublemaker, but it was hard to look away from Alyssa's puzzled expression-

But why?

Why was this bastard looking so confused? Had she never seen a training  before? Or did swords frighten her? Jaime wouldn't have been surprised if that was the case, the green-eyed girl had a childish expression pointing that could easily be frightened. 

(When Alyssa looked at Jaime, she could see nothing but the scene she had witnessed a few minutes ago: a boy who kept smiling while someone else's life was at the tip of his sword.

It seemed that this talent given to Jaime Lannister had come with an equal amount of pride.)

"That was you showing off, I assume."

"Do not worry, it was not for you."

Fool

Why had Jaime given such an answer? A smirk appeared on Alyssa's pink lips and the golden-haired teen straightened his back. 

"How would it look if it was for me?"

Oh, Jaime had been wrong. The girl in front of him wasn't scared at all, on the contrary, she was enjoying herself immensely. And, even though part of him thought it was foolish, Jaime was glad of it.

“I will make sure you know it.”

Chapter Text

Jaime

Jaime Lannister felt nauseous.

He tried to convince himself it was something he had eaten, but he knew that Aerys Targaryen's summoning the queen was the real reason, he just did not wish to admit it.

(Admitting it meant admitting that he was truly afraid of the king, and even if only to himself, the voice echoing in the corner of Jaime's mind, Tywin Lannister's voice, would not allow it.)

Queen Rhaella was breaking fast at the table set in the centre of her room with her son in her lap and her ladies around her when a servant boy appeared at the door. When Jaime entered and delivered the message, the facial expressions of everyone in the room changed; even Viserys, who could not fully comprehend what had happened, stopped and stared at Jaime.

(Jaime had noticed this because he was observant, certainly not because he was trying to gauge the expression of Alyssa, who was standing next to Viserys at the time.) 

But Queen Rhaella only smiled and finished the wine in her goblet. Viserys tried to protest, but his mother placed her son on Alyssa Rivers' lap and stood up, not forgetting to look at herself in the mirror and play with a few stray strands of her hair before leaving the room, Jaime in tow.

As she walked to the king's chambers, the queen's bodyguard tried to understand her calmness. She knew the fate that awaited her, but just like that night, Rhaella Targaryen walked with her head held high and with confident steps. Jaime, who followed behind her, had every fibre of his body in spasm.

Aerys Targaryen's voice echoed down the corridor as Ser Gerold opened the door for the queen, "I want the you, and the Lannister inside too!"

This was not usual. The king allowed almost no one into his chambers; even if he went nowhere without the Kingsguard, he didn't want them in his chambers. Apart from the queen, he only allowed the servants the queen sent, and these poor servants were responsible for getting him clean and ready for the court, which was far too little for Jaime's taste.

When Jaime and Ser Gerold entered and closed the door behind them, the queen was already at the table, filling her goblet with wine. In front of her, the king was hunched over, his greasy nose almost touching the table. The filth of his hair, which matched the queen's - his sister's - was a colour far from silver, tangled in knots. 

Rhaella Targaryen sipped her wine as the two Kingsguards stood in the doorway. Jaime glanced at his commander and could see that the knight beside him was as bewildered as he was. Finally Aerys Targaryen looked up and Jaime realised that it was the king's face that was disturbing those around him. His beard, equally dirty and tangled as his hair, hid his thin lips and made him look older than he was. Worst of all were his eyes. Jaime didn't want to look like he was staring, but there was a darkness in those violet eyes that sucked everything in.

Was this the friend his father shared his youth? The friend to whom his father had bestowed knighthood, the friend with whom he once ate and drank?

"Why have you summoned me?" Although Jaime could not see the queen's face from where he stood, he could see that she was holding her head high, probably keeping her gaze on her husband, her brother. 

"Do I need a reason to see my wife? Can't I just ask to share a some wine with you?"

"You may, dear brother," Rhaella's voice was very calm, as if she were speaking to a child, "I only asked because I am not used to it." She took another sip of her wine and the king visibly shivered as she set the goblet down hard on the table. "How is your life, Aerys? What has happened recently that you can tell me about?"

The king shifted his hunched position in his chair and leaned back, his gaze travelling between Rhaella and the Kingsguard. "I had a dream that we had a daughter. She looked just like us; silver hair, violet eyes, a long face and pouty lips. Only her nose, it was just like our mother's; she had a self-conscious demeanour, just like her." He looked at Rhaella with a smile, but this smile did not give peace, on the contrary, seeing the king's yellow teeth cut all Jaime's appetite. "Wouldn't it be nice, Rhaella, to have a daughter?"

("We had a daughter." Rhaella said without looking up. She couldn't believe Aerys's disrespect. Rhaella had a daughter, Shaena Targaryen, born a beautiful, chubby baby. Until the Mother had taken her, exactly a moon has passed, she had slept in her mother's arms every night. Both Aerys and herself were young then, her father and her mother and Elys were still alive. The birth of this baby was hailed as a favour sent to Rhaegar. But Rhaella knew it would be a tragedy, and she prayed every day that her beautiful daughter would not suffer as she had suffered. She could not have imagined that the gods would hear her and give such a painful answer. 

And now Aerys was mocking her, Rhaella's only daughter, the first baby she had lost. "Bastard," she muttered as she raised her wine to her lips again.)

"Pardon me?" 

The king rushed forward with a speed not expected from him, and Jaime was startled by this movement. The queen and Ser Gerold, on the other hand, seemed to take it normally; they were used to his instability. 

"We already had a daughter, Aerys," Rhaella Targaryen spat back, unable to suppress the anger in her voice, "but the gods saw fit to give us sons."

"You cannot mean the babe Rhaegar was to marry, she didn't even live that long."

"For you, perhaps, I carried her in my arms and in my belly!"

"And what good did it do?" Aerys glared at his sister as he signalled for the young servant in the room to refill his goblet "Rhaegar went and married that Dornish. You have deprived my son, my heir, of a Valyrian bride worthy of him. You and Steffon!"

(Rhaella's blood rushed to her brain. She had thought her brother could only hurt her physically, but what she heard proved otherwise. 

"You cruel man! Steffon drowned on that journey you forced him to take! He and his wife! His poor children orphaned. That Robert forced to be the head of his family even though he was not much older than Rhaegar!"

She jumped involuntarily to her feet. Even if she couldn't admit it to herself, even if she tried to hold herself together around her little boy, her nerves were getting weaker by the day. It was too much for her to be told about her little girl, the precious life she had lost and her cousin. Steffon and his wife had left their three sons and travelled on Aerys' mission, but had never returned. What right did he have to speak so disrespectfully of them?)

"That Dornish is a princess, our princess! She carries our grandson, future heir to the throne!"

The king threw back his chair and stood up, approaching his wife with quick steps, but Rhaella Targaryen did not break her stance “Do not defend that stinking girl to me, for if I had a choice she would never enter this keep. She is not of us, not of our blood!"

"You need to study your history if you think so, dear brother, you seem to have forgotten that the House Dorne descended from a Targaryen princess!"

"What do I care a century ago-"

"And don't forget where we come from! How do you think Dorne became one of the seven kingdoms?"

Jaime could not make sense of this scene in front of him, the king and queen's shouting was no different from children’s fight. 

Until Aerys raised his hand to the queen. 

Rhaella Targaryen was a weakling, not only mentally, but physically as well. She had been knocked backwards by a lunge from Aerys Targaryen, and would have fallen hard enough to the marble floor had Jaime not rushed forward to grab her. 

Aerys, however, was not pleased with his protection of the queen. As Jaime helped Rhaella upright, the king threw the goblet of wine at the young knight's face.

(Rhaella was struggling to watch what was happening before her eyes, still shaken, but when she saw Aerys lunging towards Jaime Lannister she knew she had no choice but to intervene.

Please not him, she wanted to say, not Joanna's golden boy.

But the foolish boy didn't realise that he should back off and let Rhaella handle this. Jaime had the queen behind him as he came at her again, and the king's fists met Jaime's armour, not Rhaella's face. In the chaos that followed, all that could be heard was Aerys' cries of "Lock him in the dungeon!".)

Alyssa

"Foolish boy, foolish and brave boy, he will bring his own end, it's all my fault!"

Alyssa Rivers descended the stairs with a tray in her hand, the queen's delirium ringing in her ears. 

With Jaime Lannister in the dungeon and Rhaella Targaryen in her chambers refusing to eat, the young girl found herself carrying a few pieces of bread, cheese and grapes to the dungeon. She couldn't bring a full meal, unfortunately, but at least she had managed to add some wine so that he wouldn't eat it dry. 

When she arrived at the dungeons where the young man was being held, the guards let her pass without a word and directed her to Jaime's cell. Behind the iron bars, the blond was sitting on a long, old and dirty blanket spread on the floor. Alyssa's eyes searched for the Kingsguard armour, she couldn’t not realize how small Jaime Lannister actually looked like this. 

The guard unlocked the door for Alyssa without saying anything, but the grunted in protest as she walked in instead of leaving the tray and walking away. The brunette sat down next to the Kingsguard and placed the tray on the floor while Jaime looked on in surprise and the guard pouted. She smiled at the guard, who still seemed to be waiting for her to leave, and poured the wine she had brought for Jaime into a small goblet without saying anything.

“Her Grace will hear about this.”

“I hope she will. Perhaps than she will eat something.” 

Alyssa smiled and pushed the tray in front of Jaime, while the guard grunted and left the pair alone. "In her good conscience the Queen could not let you starve," Alyssa said, breaking the silence, "or stay in the dungeons alone." The young girl tucked her legs under her and leaned her back against the wall, but Jaime remained in position. "Ser Jaime?" 

(Jaime Lannister was dealing with a strange sensation.

He was aware of where he was, he could feel the texture of the blanket he was sitting on and the coolness of the wall against his back, but his vision was blurred, and the voices he heard seemed to come from a long distance away. 

"You should eat something." 

He was being called, Jaime realised, but he could not make out the face approaching him. The world had blurred for him after the moment Aerys Targaryen had lunged at the queen. Going inside was something Jaime did, even though he tried to get rid of it with Cersei's humiliations in the last few years, it was the solution for the moments that were 'too much' for him since he was little. But right now he couldn't find a way out.

He blinked at the feel of a hand on his cheek. It was a light touch, and as the slender fingers moved across his cheek, Jaime began to pick out the face that had drawn closer to him. With each passing moment, Alyssa Rivers' furrowed brow, worried eyes and pressed lips were becoming clearer. 

Oh 

Jaime's vision was returning, but he couldn't take his gaze off Alyssa's face. The young girl's eyes shone like emeralds as the light hit them, and Jaime realised it was the first time he could count the freckles he had never seen up close. The hand on his cheek cupped his face while the other rested on his forehead. 

"Are you ill? You don't seem well."

That's right, Alyssa had been sent by the queen who wanted to make sure he was alright. Jaime grabbed the young girl's wrists and pulled her hands away from his face, but didn't break his hold as he lowered them. He continued to hold the young girl close as he got a better look at Alyssa.

The young girl was dressed in a light coloured dress and her hair was tied up with a matching ribbon, contrasting sharply with the poorly torch-lit cell. The pink ribbon kept only a few strands of hair from falling into her face, the long locks being free to spill over her shoulders and back as usual.

Alyssa released her wrists from Jaime's grip, but she had a smile on her face. She reached over to the tray and tore off a piece of bread, placing the sliced cheese in between. "You should eat something," she repeated as she handed the bread to Jaime, "you seem like you need it."

Jaime was now thinking that he would do whatever he was told, especially if it was wishes of Alyssa Rivers.)

Alyssa was watching the young man in front of her with interest. He took the bread offered to her without objection and started to eat it, but the young girl's main focus was on his gaze. Not a single thought was visible in Jaime's green eyes, his only attention was on Alyssa since she took his face in her hands. When the young knight grabbed her wrists with a sudden movement, Alyssa didn't realise for a moment what was happening, Jaime's behaviour was reminiscent of a a man possessed. 

Though, come to think of it, Jaime couldn't have been used to spending his days starving in a dim dungeon. The lad was probably still in shock.

It was a great injustice, Alyssa thought, but Aerys Targaryen's word was law, not the thoughts of a little bastard. Still, Jaime, who had done what no one else had done, was growing on her. It warmed her heart to know that at least one person in the entire keep was prepared to stand up for the queen. Jaime Lannister's behaviour may have seemed like foolishness to many, but in Alyssa's eyes it was courage. 

"I brought some Lannisport wine, honeyed kind." 

The young man, who still hadn't finished the bread in his hand, stared at her for a few seconds as if trying to understand what she was saying, then a half-smile appeared on his lips. 

"The Dornish wine is of better quality, but your homesickness has obviously affected your appetite."

She was talking stupidly, but she was trying to get an answer, a reaction from Jaime. This trance-like state of the young man was starting to worry her. Fortunately, Jaime Lannister started talking again without leaving Alyssa to talk more nonsense.

"You speak without knowing, in my opinion."

"Are you saying I do not know about wine, Lannister?"

Alyssa tried to look offended when Jaime's lethargic smile turned into a full grin, but she knew she had a happy expression on her face.

"I just think you're not open to new flavours. A bit childish."

"Oh, it's very hurtful to hear such things when I've just entered my new age."

"New?"

(Alyssa couldn't understand why her cheeks warmed when Jaime Lannister suddenly turned to her while leaning forward to pour himself more of the wine they were talking about. Just as she couldn't understand how Jaime's golden hair could fall so gracefully over his face). 

"Yesterday was my name day."

Jaime leaned against the wall, goblet in hand, while Alyssa pulled her knees up to her chest. Sitting on the floor was extremely uncomfortable, she couldn't imagine how the Kingsguard had put up with this for hours.

"There was no celebration..." 

Jaime's sentence was more of a statement than a question.  Confusion could be read in the gaze he fixed Alyssa.

"The Queen often cannot know the days from each other, and Rhaegar was the only one who celebrated." She kept her smile as her hand involuntarily went to the necklace around her neck. "Every year he brought different coloured lilies to my room. Pink, yellow, white... I dried the petals of most of them and placed them among the books in my room."

"It sounds like a nice tradition."

"It was broken this year, unfortunately. But he sent a letter apologising and promising a gift when we see each other again. I guess that's something."

(Jaime smiled in response to the young girl, and Seven may be her witness, Alyssa had never seen such a sincere and beautiful smile. With each passing moment it was harder and harder to pull her gaze away, she felt like she needed a distraction.)

The young girl picked some grapes from the tray and popped them into her mouth, while the young knight continued to stare at her. Finally he gave a short laugh "I didn't know you were older than me." Alyssa raised an eyebrow and he shrugged his shoulders "My name day is at least two moons away. I think. Cersei usually takes care of that sort of thing." He put down his goblet and pulled one knee towards him, resting his arm against it as he stretched out the other leg. Alyssa leaned back involuntarily, their shoulders touching as they leaned against the wall. 

"Will this be your first name day apart?"

"Hm… I never thought of it that way."

How could this be? Alyssa was away from Rhaegar for months at a time for the first time in her life, and missing her brother had become a burden she carried every day. But Jaime Lannister was sitting across from her, telling her that he had not thought about spending his name day part from his own twin. Only if he could understand how silly he sounded!

"Perhaps she will come to visit you."

"I don't think she would come all that way for me."

Jaime wasn't even looking at her as Alyssa's mouth opened in surprise, his gaze staring off into space. The young girl was in shock at what she had heard, or rather at the fact that Jaime Lannister had said it as if it was something very common. 

When the young man finally saw the expression of the one next to him, he smiled slightly and brought his face closer to the young girl "It would not be worth my sister's tiredness."

"Seeing you?"

Alyssa pressed her lips together when Jaime nodded approvingly, but made no move to pull her face back.

(Jaime was quite pleased with this, even if he wanted to claim otherwise.)

"I think it would be."

Alyssa didn't know why she said that, but what Jaime had said had bothered her a lot. He seemed to see himself as worthless even in the eyes of the people who were the most precious to him, and this felt very wrong to Alyssa.

Jaime Lannister mattered to her.

(Jaime didn't know how to respond, perhaps that's why he made a stupid move. Just before he pulled back to lean against the wall again, he pressed a kiss to Alyssa's dark curls. 

He didn't know how he expected the younger girl to react, but he couldn't help but smile when Alyssa followed him, leaning back and resting her head on his shoulder.)

—•—

On the morrow, when Alyssa Rivers opened the door of her chambers, there was a bouquet of orange lilies waiting for her. With a smile on her face and a warm feeling in her, the young girl went back inside to place the flowers at the head of her bed.

Chapter Text

Alyssa

"The days are hard go by, but soon we'll be together dear sister. When I see you again, my heir will be with me. Until then, take care of my mother, my little brother and most of all, take care of yourself, my love."

Alyssa read her brother's letter sitting on his bed. She was probably forbidden to come in here, but as long as she didn't use the door, she was fine. 

When she was tired of lying restlessly in her own bed, she took the letter she had already read so many times and dived into the tunnels of the Red Keep. Taking refuge in Rhaegar's bed had been a habit she'd grown out of, but in her brother's absence she could make an exception. The bed was cold, proving the absence of its owner, and there was no trace of Rhaegar's warmth or scent. Though when she tucked the letter under the pillow and curled up under the covers, she felt a little less lonely. When she woke up in the morning and walked back to her chambers the way she had come, there was a melancholy she could not explain. 

But when she saw the flowers beside her bed, she couldn't help but smiling.

Jaime Lannister was difficult to understand. On the one hand, like a child, he tried to show that he did not take anything seriously and did not care; on the other, he could not remain silent about any injustice he saw. Alyssa could not decide whether to attribute this to the young man's nobility or immaturity. 

She held Rhaegar's letter in her other hand while caressing the orange petals. After some thought, she plucked one of the flowers and placed it between the letter. She opened the chest standing right in front of the window and took out the wooden jewellery box. She placed the letter under the box filled with ribbons she tied her hair with, bracelets she and Rhaegar had made with seashells they had collected from Dragonstone beach when they were little, pearls and brooches gifted by the queen. In a few days the flower would be flattened and dry. Maybe it was stupid, maybe meaningless, but Alyssa wanted something small to remind her of these flowers. And as silly as it seemed, she tied her hair in a simple braid with an orange ribbon before leaving her room.

It was equally foolish that when she arrived at the queen's chambers for breakfast as usual, she was disappointed to be greeted at the door by Ser Barristan Selmy.

Although she had been distracted by Viserys during breakfast, when the queen announced that she was tired and was going to lie down for a while, the little prince curled up next to his mother and Alyssa had to leave the room.

She hadn't been used to having a free day for a long time, so when she stepped out into the corridor she was momentarily stunned. She could have gone to the library, but the weather was too nice to be cooped up inside after so long. She went down to the kitchen first, hoping to persuade Lyra to come with her, but unfortunately her friend was not there. Still, she took the opportunity to grab an apple before leaving the kitchen.

She passed the area where a few knights and City Watch soldiers were training and reached the stables. The white mare, which she had not visited for a long time, was standing with her head forward, as she did every time Alyssa visited. She looked around to see if the grooms were around, and when she saw that the stables were surprisingly empty, she approached the horse with a smile on her face. "It's been a long time, beautiful girl," she said, stroking her white mane. In fact, she could braid it while she was here, the mare's mane was too beautiful to be tossed around. The horse slowly took the apple in its mouth and started to chew it. This beauty was older than most of the horses in the stable, almost six and ten.

"I'm starting to believe you are following me, Lady Alyssa."

Oh

Focusing all her attention on the mare, Alyssa could not notice the visitor coming in. Jaime Lannister was coming in, carrying a large box, his golden armour missing. 

Although she felt her cheeks turn pink, the young girl did not break her smile. She took a step closer to the mare as she turned to the young knight with her arms folded behind her back. "I think I'm the one who should say that, Ser Jaime."

Jaime put the box in a corner while smiling, showing his teeth, he didn't seem to care much anyway. Shaking off the dust, he turned towards Alyssa, at the same time the young girl involuntarily placed her back against the wooden door. "Old friend?"

She didn't understand who the golden-haired young man was referring to at first, but she followed his gaze, Alyssa realised that the question was about the mare. As she nodded in agreement, she ran her hand through the mane of the horse that had just finished her apple.

"Does he have a name?"

The young man's question only made Alyssa giggle.

(Jaime didn't think his question was funny, but he wasn't complaining about Alyssa's laughter. The young girl's eyes narrowed, one hand covering her mouth as the sweet timbre of her laughter resonated. 

He couldn't remember ever seeing Cersei laugh like that. There was a second meaning to his twin's every gesture, an insult, a sneer or a mockery. Cersei didn't laugh much, she found giggling, like Alyssa was doing now, to be frivolous.

Of course, Alyssa was no lady. Given the circumstances of the young girl's upbringing, it was understandable that the girl was more comfortable.

But why was Jaime comparing Cersei and Alyssa? It was something he had been unconsciously doing a lot lately, but he couldn't explain why. It was easy to compare two people who were so different from each other, of course, Alyssa was everything Cersei was not.

But why did this concern Jaime?

“Her name is Meleys.”

“Meleys?”

Jaime took off his glove as he passed on the other side of the mare. Alyssa stroked her white mane and Jaime stroked her neck, the mare was practically lavished with pampering.

"She was a gift from the old Queen, but Rhaegar chose the name."

"Does it have a significance?"

Alyssa raised her gaze as if surprised that Jaime didn't know this, while she took a step closer to Jaime as she started stroking the mare's nose. "My name, comes from princess Alyssa, daughter of the Queen Alysanne and King Jahaerys."

Ah, the old names Jaime never deigned to learn. Most names in the Targaryen family that weren't Aegon, Aemon, or some derivative seemed ridiculous to learn. But Alysanne and Jahaerys were the exception. These two names, which Cersei deified in her eyes, were engraved in his memory.

"The Good Queen and the Old King?"

Alyssa smiled as she nodded approvingly and placed a kiss on the mare's head before answering. "Princess Alyssa was the rider of Meleys, the Red Queen. Queen Shaera wanted to gift her to me when she was born and she let Rhaegar choose the name. He thought it was only fair I had a Meleys as well."

Jaime couldn't help but think that Rhaegar and Cersei would get along extremely well, but that thought came with a green-eyed monster).

Alyssa rushed forward to hug the mare before she left, but froze when she bumped into Jaime's hand standing on the other side. The young man had removed his glove as he stroked the mare, and Alyssa couldn't help but marvel at how warm his hand was.

(Likewise, Jaime was startled by the coldness of the young girl's hand).

“You're cold." Jaime spoke as if he was stating an obvious truth. Alyssa's instinct told her to back off as the young knight took her hand in both of his.

"No, no-" The young girl, who was in an awkward position with her arm trapped under the mare's neck, squeezed the young man's hand and then withdrew her hand, taking a step so that nothing stood between them, she was now standing in front of Jaime. "My hands are always cold."

"It would be better if you came out with a cloak, though. I'm surprised you're not cold all the time in those thin dresses."

"You know so much about my dresses," she said with a smile as she took a step towards the knight. She hadn't been thinking, but as she clasped her hands behind her back, her gaze met Jaime's green eyes. 

(Oh, the young girl was playing games. And Jaime had to admit that she looked awfully... sweet with a self-satisfied smile fixed on her. She had to lift her head up to meet Jaime's gaze. The fact that Alyssa was taller than the young girls around her did not prevent her from being small next to Jaime.

Looking at the freckles spreading across Alyssa's face, Jaime knew he wanted to play too. 

"I know they are beautiful, though not as beautiful as the lady who wears them."

The pink spreading across the young girl's cheeks was just adorable.)

Alyssa involuntarily lowered her head, but her smile grew even wider. What was she doing? Jaime Lannister might be young and undeniably handsome, but at the end of the day, he was a Kingsguard. 

Though perhaps that was why Alyssa considered this flirtation so harmless. Nothing could happened anyway.

Could it?

Ashara 

It was extremely difficult for Ashara Dayne to remain calm as Elia Martell's screams filled the room.

She couldn't rationalise it. Ashara had prepared her whole life to be the princess's lady, the princess's companion. It was her duty to be there for her through thick and thin, to support her, to be closer than a husband, and to this day, that duty had never been a burden.

But now, standing in the black-walled room of the castle on this damned cold island, she felt more helpless and inadequate than ever. She could do nothing while the princess suffered.

Hours ago the princess's water had broken, but there was still no sign of a baby. And with each passing hour, Ashara's nerves were getting more and more strained, she could not get used to the screams in any way. 

As soon as her water broke, they brought the princess to her chamber and called the midwives. Soon the women came through the door with pots of hot water and towels. Not wanting to leave the princess alone even for a moment, Ashara chased one of them out of the room to find her brother and Prince Rhaegar. The poor midwife didn't look like she was upset, but upon reflection Ashara would remember how rude she had been and be ashamed of herself. But there was no room in her mind for anything but the princess, who was now writhing in agony.

Soon Prince Rhaegar burst into the chamber and had not left his wife's side since. Ashara wouldn't say she was still warming to the silver-haired prince, but it was nice to see that he at least cared for Princess Elia.

The princess, tired of hanging to the ropes tied to the foot of her bed, was now sitting on the chair pulled to her. On one side of her, the prince, squatted on the floor, was holding her hand and trying to find words to calm his wife, on the other side Ashara was pulling the princess's dark hair from her forehead and trying to refresh her with a wet piece of cloth.

"Keep pushing, Princess, you mustn't stop!" the midwife cried in alarm as she bent down in front of the princess. With each passing hour, the old woman's brow furrowed more and more, making Ashara, already tense, even more nervous.

("Is there nothing we can do?" Rhaegar said as he took his wife's hand. He had witnessed many of his mother's painful births and had spent the last few months praying every night that his wife would not be in a similar situation, but the gods did not seem to hear him. His only consolation was that Elia still held his hand tightly, refusing to let go, and for that Rhaegar was inexplicably grateful.

"Giving more milk of poppy might harm the baby, but..." the midwife kept her eyes down as if embarrassed, but that did not stop her from finishing, "there is another way to get the baby out, my prince. If you wish."

Rhaegar knew what that way was, as did his wife, whose eyes widened at his side.

"Rhaegar-"

"Of course not! Do you realise what nonsense you're talking?!"

Rhaegar cupped Elia's face with his free hand as the midwife stammered apologetically. "Rhaegar our baby-"

"Will reach us and you'll hold it in your arms. You'll well, I will make sure of that, but you have to keep pushing, Elia, with all your strength.")

Inwardly Ashara could not help congratulating the prince. Not sacrificing his wife for an unborn baby may have seemed like a simple act, but it happened far too often in Westeros. To be honest, the Dayne girl had feared that the silver prince, would be the same way, but thank the gods she had been wrong.

With the support of her husband, the princess straightened up once more, this time grasping Ashara's hand tightly. Ashara was afraid that her hand would be broken, but so be it, her hand could be sacrificed to the princess. As long as the princess survived this labour. 

"Keep it up princess, you'll have your son soon enough!"

For Seven’s sake

After the birth, Ashara's first order of business would be to banish this midwife from Dragonstone. Judging by the look on Prince Rhaegar's face, he felt the same way as the Dornish girl. 

The princess let out an impetuous scream and Ashara grabbed her shoulder with her free hand for support. Judging by the midwife's expression, they were nearing the end. At least Ashara hoped they were now; the sight of the tears streaming from the princess's eyes, her sweat-covered forehead and clenched teeth made her want to go into a corner and sob herself. Why was the beginning of life so painful, why were women cursed with it?

All these thoughts disappeared as a new voice echoed in the room.

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief when the baby was heard crying. One of the midwives in the room brought a white cloth to wrap the baby in as the princess slumped back in the chair, while the midwife crouched in front of the princess, busy cutting the cord. 

Ashara took the tiny baby from the midwife's arms as Prince Rhaegar brought his wife's hand to his lips. 

How could this wrinkled little thing, covered in blood, be so beautiful? "A beautiful princess, Your Highnesses," she said, surprised even by the tremble in her voice.

With tears in her eyes, the princess stretched out her arms and embraced her daughter with the help of her husband. Prince Rhaegar pressed a kiss to her hair as tears gathered in the corners of his lilac eyes and rolled down his cheeks. "Well done, my dear."

"And her name, Your Highness?"

The new mother and father looked at each other for a moment at Ashara's question, but it was Princess Elia who answered in a tired voice.

“Rhaenys shall be her name, Rhaenys Targaryen.”

Cersei

Cersei was having a very dull day until her father's servant summoned her. 

After the months she had spent in King's Landing, Casterly Rock had become too boring, especially in Jaime's absence. The young lioness could no longer fit on the mountain that had once been her whole world, nor did she want to.

She took a deep breath and straightened her back before entering her father's chambers. It wasn't every day that Tywin Lannister sent for his daughter in private, and Cersei hoped with all her heart that she had come to good news. 

Her father was busy writing something when she entered, and he didn't look up until Cersei was at his table. His head, which had been covered with golden hair when Cersei was little, was now bald, and although she understood her father's motives for doing so, the sight still displeased the young girl.

When she cleared her throat to get Tywin Lannister's attention, the lord of Casterly Rock looked up with a smile on his face. It was a smile that Cersei could not decipher, but at least it gave her hope that good news had arrived.

“I have news from the King’s Landing.”

Cersei's eyes widened involuntarily while her father handed her a piece of paper on the table. As the young girl fixed her green eyes on the letter, Tywin continued to explain. "It appears our prince is now father to a princess." 

"Not an heir?" she said, not even trying to hide the happiness in her voice. "What about the Dornish woman?"

"Still alive, but exhausted from the birth. You will send our regards to them in King's Landing. I have organised everything for your journey, you leave in two days."

This was more than good news! Cersei would see not only Jaime but also Prince Rhaegar! Not to mention the celebrations, feasts, and entertainment she would be attending! With a huge smile on her face, she pressed the letter she held in her hand to her chest.

(Tywin Lannister looked on as his daughter left the room with quick steps. Unfortunately, she was his best stone on the road to getting Jaime back.

Gods help him, he hoped the girl didn't resemble Joanna only in appearance).

Chapter Text

Rhaegar

Rhaegar Targaryen sat in front of the fire with his daughter in his arms. The little princess' eyes were closed, but her tiny hand continued to hold her father's finger.

Rhaenys. Rhaegar's firstborn, the eldest child of the heir. Elia had chosen the name of the first queen for their daughter, the conquering queen who tasted death in Dorne. But it was the princess of the Seven Kingdoms who now sleeps peacefully. Rhaegar's little girl was a symbol of unity.

As the heir to the Iron Throne bent to place a kiss on his daughter's dark hair, the door opened and footsteps, all too familiar to Rhaegar, echoed through the room. He did not need to look up to know who it was.

“You can’t seem to get enough of your daughter tonight.”

Before Rhaegar realised it, Arthur Dayne was by his side. The firelight reflected on the metal illuminated the dragon symbols etched into his armour. Rhaegar smiled as he met his friend's purple eyes. Many people thought this trait of House Dayne was similar to that of the Targaryens, but the prince of Dragonstone disagreed. Indeed, he had never seen the nobility in any of his family members that he had seen in Arthur Dayne's eyes. He had only seen the authority in deep purple eyes of his grandmother, the old Queen. But there was something in Arthur and his sister's eyes that could only be reserved for knights, that graceful heraldry. Perhaps it was because they lacked the hunger and ferocity of the Targaryens, Rhaegar thought.

Who knows

"I feel like I'm missing something very big if I do not watch her every move," he replied as his friend approached him. As a dutiful guard, Arthur stood behind the prince's chair, but kept one hand on Rhaegar's shoulder.

"Our future queen."

Rhaegar’s lips turned upwards at the mention of their shared secret. Yes, the prince of Dragonstone had already decided that the next in line to the throne would be his daughter, but he needed to prepare the Realm for this. That was why he had kept his decision a secret, revealing it only to those closest to him: Elia, Arthur...

and Alyssa.

His sweet little sister. The one and only. What was she doing right now? Was she well, was she happy? Was she still spending her days chasing Viserys? Was the little bird still struggling to bear the burdens of everyone around her?

"Do you think they're safe? In King's Landing?"

(Arthur was not surprised by his friend's sudden change of subject. Rhaegar was often lost in his own thoughts, only to resume the conversation when he felt it necessary. To someone who did not know him intimately, it might have been meaningless or irritating, but Arthur was used to it. He knew the prince he had sworn to protect better than anyone, and he knew he needed him.

"The White Bull would be furious to hear you questioning his brothers in arms." he said with a laugh, hoping to placate Rhaegar.

Rhaegar rested his arm on the edge of the chair as he pulled his daughter closer to him, but Arthur knew he was smiling.)

"Would he defend even the youngest of them?"

"Lannister deserves his place." Arthur's confident tone prompted Rhaegar to raise his head. Sure, it was none other than the Sword of the Morning that had bestowed knighthood upon Jaime Lannister, but there was still something gnawing at Rhaegar.

"He is only six and ten-"

"He is seven and ten now, and he's better than you were at that age, I assure you." As Rhaegar laughed at Arthur's remark, the knight added:

"Jaime Lannister will be a knight whose name will surely go down in history."

Rhaella

The queen of the Seven Kingdoms could not help but stare at the guest in her room with her lilac eyes.

Varys

The eunuch had appeared in the Red Keep shortly before the death of Rhaella's dear cousin. Rhaella knew it all: Varys' presence here showed just how low Aerys' confidence in her and Rhaegar had fallen.

The dirty, arrogant king. Her delusional, foolish brother, who employed this spider to carry the words of men to his ears. It wasn't this lord's fault, of course, and if Rhaella hadn't realised that, she wouldn't have let him in when he showed up at her door with a servant and a jug of wine.

These were the queen's thoughts as she stared at the eunuch sipping his wine. At the same time, she knew she shouldn't hate the man in magenta - if he was still a man at all. He was only doing Aerys’ bidding, though while feeding his delusions at the same time.

“Do you enjoy the wine, Your Grace?”

Rhaella took another sip from her goblet before answering. She didn't take her gaze from Varys' small eyes.

“Quite, actually, Lord Varys. My gratitude for your gift.”

“Only the best for the Realm’s Queen.”

(Varys was looking at the queen's scrutinising face, trying to understand her. The queen was known to everyone as a flower about to wither. Perhaps among those closest to her. But now, sitting before him, in the colours of her house, her silver hair pulled back in braids of Targaryen heritage, she was far from wilting. Her lilac eyes sparkled like two gems, and the smile she wore on her lips seemed almost sincere. The only surprise was that the queen was not yet forty. The king himself was not much older than his wife, but they both looked far ahead of their years. Madness was taking over the whole family then.)

Rhaella set her goblet down on the table and placed her hands on the arms of her chair. She thought of her mother, the former queen she had watched speak to her subjects so many times. Shaera Targaryen could crush anyone with her looks, words, and demeanour.

And Rhaella was her daughter.

"I thought you do not spend much time out of my husband’s ear.”

"I have to find things to say in that ear, as you can imagine. Besides, it would be a pity to disturb him on his day with the his son."

Viserys? Viserys was with Aerys? Rhaella thought her son was with Alyssa. But of course, what could Rhaella's sweet girl do when the Kingsguard appeared at the door?

“So this wasn’t a gift at all.” the Queen said while pointing to the goblet “A bargain, one might say.”

"I am a servant, my queen, bound only to serve the Realm."

"The Realm, not my husband?"

Varys smiled as he folded his hands in his magenta robes. "The Realm, which will soon have a new king."

“How unfortunate. I was only getting used being the Queen.”

“It is rumoured that the throne of the Seven Kingdoms will soon have a new owner."

“Did your little birds have told you? Do they not sing nicer songs?”

“I thought you would be pleased, considering your son is the only one with the power to do it."

The queen gave an involuntary laugh. A sweet laugh, like of a young maiden. No, she didn't hate Varys; on the contrary she found him very amusing: “Listen very carefully, Lord Varys. My first son is the heir to the Iron Throne. He is to follow his father’s footsteps. And if the Gods see it fit, who are we to say it is early or late?”

Jaime

Jaime was standing in the corridor.

Staring at the same walls in front of the same door for hours every day was going to drive him crazy soon.

How long was he supposed to keep doing this? He had to be near the queen at all times because of the king's paranoia, but she was growing too weak to leave her chambers. Even if she regained her strength, the long winter was not yet fully over, so she found it difficult even to go out into the palace gardens. The queen's body was too thin, features of her beautiful face sharp, the sockets of her lilac eyes deep. Of course, being constantly pregnant and losing her children one by one had worn her down, and Jaime had witnessed the pain of childbirth himself. Even to this day, he could clearly hear Joanna Lannister's screams as Tyrion was born.

But the real culprit for the queen's plight was undoubtedly her brother and husband. He was not only harming Rhaella Targaryen by constantly trying to impregnate her; the nights when Jaime had to wait in front of the king's chambers with Gerold Hightower revealed the brutality of Aerys Targaryen. The queen's screams and the insults she shouted to her brother, her husband, her king were engraved in his mind in a way he could not forget. On such nights, Jaime would close his eyes and try to think of something else, trying to imagine that he was somewhere else instead of that dark corridor. But every time he closed his, the eyes of Alyssa Rivers appeared in his mind. The more he thought of the young girl waiting for the queen with a candle in her hand, without even a shawl on her thin nightgown, the more Jaime's remorse grew, triggering the desire to escape from himself.

Stupid girl. Even in the cold of the night, she had stood and waited for the queen as if she didn't feel the cold.

Jaime looked up as footsteps echoed at the other end of the corridor. Alyssa Rivers appeared as if she knew he was thinking about her. When she locked eyes with the Kingsguard, Jaime noticed the tears in her green eyes and her trembling lower lip. After a few seconds, the young girl took timid steps down the corridor, as if approaching was out of her control and she was being forced to do so.

She looked pathetic. Poor, pathetic and desperate.

It broke Jaime's heart to see Alyssa like this.

(Alyssa involuntarily took a deep breath when the blonde knight suddenly started coming towards her.

Why had she come here? To speak to the queen? Rhaella Targaryen couldn't help her in this situation. Sure, she could stand up to the king and make a scene, but that would mean that the queen would once again become the target of Aerys Targaryen’s fury, and Alyssa knew that Rhaella couldn't handle that. Or she didn't want her to have to.

Had she come for Jaime Lannister, then? To ask him for help, to find solace in his company? It sounded stupid, but if she had continued to sit alone in Viserys' room, she would have gone mad.

When Jaime stopped in front of her, she lifted her head to meet his eyes. She’ obviously forgotten that he was still a young man growing taller everyday, as the Lannister seemed far too tall for her at the moment.

"What is it?" the Kingsguard asked, one hand on the hilt of his sword.

Would he protect Alyssa with this sword?)

"The king- he demanded-" Alyssa swallowed halfway through her sentence. Every moment she didn't say what had made her like this made Jaime more and more worried. Had the king hurt her? Had he-

Had Aerys Targaryen touched her?

The very thought of it fuelled a rage the young man could not explain. It fanned a protective, possessive flame that could get out of control at any moment.

Jaime gripped his sword tighter.

"He demanded Viserys to be taken to him. For the day."

...

What?

"He begged me- oh Jaime, he begged me..."

The young girl suddenly covered her face with her hands and began to tremble. Jaime wanted to comfort her with the knowledge that she was well, but Alyssa's silent sobs tore at his heart.

“He’s so scared, scared of his own father. He’s just a little boy, he shouldn’t- he mustn’t be left alone with that man- he’s only a boy…”

Alyssa was really crying. She was well, unharmed in any way, but she was weeping her heart out for the little boy who was begging her for help.

“I cannot- I’m not strong enough to- to protect him- I can’t even-“

Was Alyssa Rivers' behaviour foolish? Cersei would certainly think so.

But Alyssa wasn't Cersei.

No, Alyssa Rivers was someone who would cry for the little prince. She was neither a mother nor an older sister, but she took responsibility for the little boy and spent herself for his well-being. What's more, she blamed herself for not being his protector.

For not being able to protect a little child from his father.

Jaime had only seen Alyssa cry for others: For the queen, who suffered in Aerys Targaryen's chambers, and for Viserys Targaryen, who feared his father.

Did she not see how hard, how miserable her own life really was? Did she not see the glances thrown at her, the whispers whispered behind her back as a bastard chasing the royal family around the Red Keep? Couldn't she bear to see someone she loved suffer when her heart was strong enough to stand up to it all, to ignore any attack directed at her?

Did Alyssa Rivers never feel sorry for herself?

(Alyssa thought she should be ashamed of the situation she was in in front of Jaime Lannister, but she couldn't. Seeing him look at her with sympathy in those green eyes had broken something inside her and now she couldn't stop crying.

Until the knight in white armour grasped her hands.

Gloves made of thick fabric gripped both hands and pulled them away from her face. Jaime Lannister looked at her with a smile; a soft, warm smile that she had never seen before. Rivers girl could only look at the Kingsguard's face, his beautiful green eyes, his blonde hair falling over his forehead, his little dimple. 

Jaime took the young girl by the hands and pulled her closer to him, tilting her head forward to meet his eyes.

“Do not cry. You do so much for him, you love him so much… He will come back to you and you will keep him in your arms again. Just-“

Alyssa's tears had stopped, she could feel the marks on her cheeks beginning to dry. She held Jaime's hands as he did hers, believing that maybe this way she would get strength from him.

Or perhaps she only wanted to hold his hands.

“Do not cry anymore.”

Alyssa felt her cheeks flush as his face came closer to hers. But Jaime Lannister's lips only met the girl's dark hair. He whispered his next words without moving his lips away from her head, so much so that Alyssa suspected she was imagining the words.

“It breaks my heart to see you cry.”)

—•—

Hours later, Alyssa Rivers returned to the little prince's room with a smile on her face to find Viserys throwing everything he could get his hands on. Lyra Flowers was bending down to his level, trying to say something, but Viserys responded by throwing wooden toys at her.

Until he saw Alyssa standing in the doorway.

As soon as she saw her little one, the silver-haired boy ran to her, and Alyssa fell to her knees at the same time. When she took Viserys in her arms, the little prince cried out.

But the tears that gathered at the corners of Alyssa's green eyes did not flow this time. Even Lyra could not hold back her tears at this scene; Alyssa Rivers held her little prince, her little brother tightly as the black-haired girl covered her mouth with her hands and cried; Viserys was safe in her arms, and she would make sure he knew it.

Chapter Text

Jaime

The day everyone had been waiting for had arrived.

Weeks in advance, the entire Red Keep had mobilised for the return of the Silver Prince. Letters were arriving from the Riverlands announcing the arrival of the guests, the prince's chambers were being prepared, and the festivities were being planned. Even the flowers had begun to bloom as if they had forgotten about the lingering cold, something Jaime was well aware of thanks to Alyssa Rivers, who ran through the corridors each day with a larger bouquet.

He tried to keep his attention on the young girl to take his mind off the fact that Cersei was coming.

For the first few months he had thought that the most painful part of staying in King's Landing would be being away from his twin. But as the days wore on, he found it hard to remember Cersei's green eyes, even if they were an exact reflection of his own. Now only one pair of green eyes appeared in Jaime Lannister's mind's eye: framed by long eyelashes, set upon on a freckle-covered nose, sometimes hidden by a curtain of dark curls. The eyes Jaime had been waiting to meet as he stalked after the queen.

And it was those same eyes that made Jaime's stomach ache at the thought of seeing Cersei. Perhaps seeing Cersei's beauty again would make him desire her again. But the thought of being in her arms right now was not as peaceful as it used to be. Desire had given its way to anger and betrayal.

However, these feelings vanished when he saw Alyssa Rivers appearing at the end of the corridor with  crowns of flowers in her hand.

The young girl was perhaps the most delighted at the return of Rhaegar Targaryen. She was running around, fluttering the skirts of her green dress while white flowers grinned between her braids. Jaime questioned whether this was the dress she wore the night he first saw her. Maybe it could have been touched up a bit. 

The bastard girl did not neglect to turn around in front of Jaime before entering the queen's room. The smile on her face remained intact even when she arrived in the courtyard of the keep with the welcoming committee. Standing side by side with Ser Barristan Selmy in charge of the queen and the little prince, Jaime could not take his gaze off Alyssa, who was smiling all around. Even when the wagon carrying the heir prince and his family entered the courtyard, Jaime was watching not Arthur Dayne coming on horseback, but the young girl who took Prince Viserys by the hand and led him to his brother. It was an interesting scene he witnessed. First Rhaegar Targaryen got off the wagon, then Elia Martell holding his hand. Although he believed that the brunette lady who descended with the little princess in her arms to applause was Larra Blackmont, he could not be sure. He wasn't good at remembering the names of nobles, he'd always left that to Cersei. 

Perhaps he was learning to live on without her.

Rhaegar Targaryen opened his arms to embrace his younger brother as Alyssa led the younger prince towards his silver-haired brother. Jaime watched as the heir to the throne's gaze shifted to Alyssa as he lifted Prince Viserys into the air (it might have been the first time the younger prince had been held in a long time, now that he was too heavy for Alyssa's weak arms). Seeing those mauve eyes locked on Alyssa's face and the prince's smile awakened a green beast inside Jaime. Jaime Lannister of course knew that Alyssa only saw the prince as an older brother, though he was in no position to comment on that. And why did it bother him, what kind of a claim did he have on Alyssa Rivers?

As Queen Rhaella descended the steps to embrace her bride by the hem of her dark green gown, he had to remind himself why he was here. He wore this armour for the Targaryen queen's protection and safety at all times, not to watch Alyssa Rivers.

As he scrutinised the reunions taking place in front of him, he realised how crowded they were. A crown of colourful flowers adorned the queen's silver hair, while Elia Martell's red cloak had fallen from her head in the embrace, revealing her dark hair, which had been left uncovered. The two girls standing behind the princess were all too familiar, he knew they were Tyrells, but he couldn't make out their names. A little further back from the wagon, Arthur Dayne was helping his sister down. Ashara Dayne, who looked the spitting image of her brother, came on horseback unlike the other ladies. 

(Jaime couldn't help thinking that the purple-eyed girl would get along well with Alyssa).

It was a real family reunion in the courtyard, people who had not seen each other for almost a year were hugging, laughing, smothering each other with kisses. Perhaps they could have gone on longer, but a hush fell over the courtyard as Ser Jonothor Darry appeared at the top of the stairs. "His Majesty the King calls his family to his presence!"

Elia

Elia Martell had never been in Aerys Targaryen's chambers. The tension was palpable as she walked the corridors of Maegor's Holdfast with her daughter in her arms. As they square entered the fortress, the queen's and Elia's ladies were led to the queen's chambers after Alyssa Rivers. 

(During that rush, as Alyssa walked away holding Viserys' hand, Elia wasn't sure if she had actually seen the look the young girl had given the youngest member of the Kingsguard.) 

Even though she told herself that it was normal for the king to want only his family in his chambers, she couldn't get little Viserys' gaze out of her mind. The silver-haired boy was tugging at Alyssa's green skirts, trying to pull the young girl away. It took the queen bending down, kissing her son on both cheeks, holding his hands and saying something to calm the little prince. Elia did not hear what was being said, her only focus was on the flower crowns on the heads of the queen and her son. Crowns that caught Elia's eyes with their many colours in the Red Keep’s courtyard.

When they arrived at the door with Ser Gerold Hightower waiting, everyone was silent, including little Rhaenys in Elia's arms, her golden eyes not knowing where to focus.

The scene they encountered when they entered explained everything. The ruler of the Seven Kingdoms sat in a chair in the centre of the room with Owen Merryweather standing beside him. The sound of him scratching his hands with his long, filthy fingernails was all they could hear, until Ser Gerold spoke.

“His Royal Highness Prince Rhaegar and his lady-wife Princess Elia have arrived Your Majesty, along with Her Majesty the Queen.”

The Kingsguard knight closed the door behind him after Jaime Lannister and Ser Jonothor left the room. Elia took a step forward as Rhaegar placed a hand on one shoulder. The king wasn't even looking at her, purple eyes wide and locked on a spot on the floor. "Father," Rhaegar said in a gentle tone, "let me introduce my daughter, Princess Rhaenys."

Aerys Targaryen's gaze remained fixed as a smile appeared on his lips, revealing his yellowed teeth. "A girl, that's the best you can do?" Elia didn't expect her husband to reply, the queen had sent a letter to Dragonstone to warn them of the king's condition before the married couple had set off. With a quick glance, she saw the queen's face fall. Even the flowers in her silver hair looked paler in the room, where a foul odour could be heard. 

But Elia was in no mood to allow her daughter to be disrespected in this way.

"Your Majesty, will you look at her? Your granddaughter?" she took a step closer to the king and fell to her knees. The king's deep purple eyes turned first to her and then to the baby in her arms. Almost two moons have past since the little princess was born, and no matter through what difficulties she had come into this world, she was now a healthy baby, her cheeks were beginning to plump up as to show she had been well fed. The hair covering her little head was thick, just like her mother's, and her golden eyes were like the morning sun. Every time Elia looked at her daughter, she thanked the gods for giving her little girl and her life. 

As the king reached out his hand and ran his finger over the princess's cheek, Elia could hardly keep from grimacing at the stench. Her daughter remained silent, as if she understood the nature of the situation, but her golden eyes were fixed on the king. Aerys Targaryen finally withdrew his hand, the smile gone from his face. “She does not look like my son. Or anyone from my family for that matter.”

“She is your family, father, your granddaughter.”

“She smells Dornish.”

(Rhaella Targaryen stepped forward at her husband's words. She had been forcing herself to remain calm since she had entered the room, remembering how Jaime Lannister had ended up in the dungeon the last time she had rebelled against Aerys. But this was too much.

Aerys might have been king of the Seven Kingdoms, but Rhaella was his queen.

"Look at her Aerys!" 

The words came out of her mouth as she helped Elia to her feet, scolding her husband. "Look how beautiful our granddaughter is, hm?" It was Rhaella's turn to bow to the king as her daughter-in-law stood again. She took his hand in hers and forced him to look at her. Those purple eyes she hated now looked like a pit with no end. There was no light, no consciousness. 

Rhaella knew how to use that to her advantage. 

"Her hair reminds me of our grandmother, don't you agree?"

Aerys' gaze remained on Rhaella, but his smile reappeared. "Grandmother Betha? Oh, she was a true beauty."

"Was she not? I believe our granddaughter will take after her." Rhaella forced a smile).

“For her sake I hope she will.” 

Elia crouched beside her husband, wanting to believe that she could express her gratitude to the queen with a smile. If she failed, she would express her gratitude at the first opportunity. As the queen continued to hold her husband's hand without a word, she locked eyes with her son, and then Rhaegar took Elia by the waist and led her to the door.

There was no need for them to remain in this room any longer.

Alyssa

“I wish to hold her.”

Alyssa stood at the end of the cradle and Rhaegar stood beside her. The young girl smiled at her brother, then turned to the sleeping princess. "And wake her? I never took you for a cruel man." 

The Silver Prince smiled at his sister's words and stepped lightly from where he stood and came up behind the young girl, wrapping his arms around her. "Then I shall hold you, little sister." He placed a kiss on Alyssa's dark curls braided with flowers and then one on her cheek. 

Alyssa had missed this, feeling safe in someone's arms.

Rhaegar placed his head on her shoulder as she brought one of his hands to her lips. “Now tell me, dear sister, how has life treated you, while I was away?”

The young girl let go of Rhaegar's hand and fixed her gaze on the little princess. It was a difficult question to answer. The time prince had spent in Dragonstone had been uneventful for her. But her heart had not found much peace during that time. The pain of those around her hurt her many times more, causing her to shed tears.

It breaks my heart to see you cry.

When a certain knight's words warmed her cheeks, she released herself from her brother’s arms and headed for the balcony overlooking the garden, Rhaegar following. “I assume not very well, from the way you run from me.” 

“You need not to worry about me brother.”

“Should I worry about someone else?” 

While the warm winds blew her curls, Alyssa stubbornly kept her gaze on the garden. The flowers that started to bloom again, the grass that looked greener, the red pillars... She would rather look everywhere except her brother's eyes. Because when she met those lilac eyes, she knew she could not hide the truth. Rhaegar must have realised this too, for he grasped Alyssa's chin and turned her towards him. Although his touch was so light, she could not withdraw her gaze. "Alyssa," he repeated himself. The sunset coloured the sky and reflected in Rhaegar's silver hair, bringing out the blonde tones.

“Your father… has only gotten worse since you left. He listens no one.”

Rhaegar bowed his head as if expecting this answer, and this time he watched the garden as Alyssa continued. “He often calls your mother to his chambers, in the middle of the night, and she always comes backs with more bruises. And when someone tries to interfere, he-“ 

It was painful to remember Jaime Lannister in that dungeon, how his golden hair shone in the candlelight, how he had to lean against that wall for hours.

(She had not forgotten the hours she had placed her head on the young knight's shoulder that night, but she did not yet know how to tell Rhaegar about it.)

Rhaegar's hands were balled into fists on the railing, and Alyssa grasped both of her brother's hands when she noticed the whitening knuckles. She knew she had upset him, and cursed herself for it, but Rhaegar was the only one who could do anything. Aerys' eldest son, his only heir, the only one he could listen to.

“And now he started summoning Viserys. He keeps him in his chambers for hours at end. Ser Barristan assures me he never lays a hand on him, but-“

Rhaegar turned to her with a sudden movement, and instead of flinching, Alyssa brought her face closer to his. She could no longer bear to speak aloud. “The first time he came back, he cried his eyes out in my arms. He does not say what happens when he is by his father’s side, not even to me. The more time he spends with him, the more he becomes distressed.”

“He loves Viserys, Aly, it is the only fucking thing we can trust.”

“He loved your mother once, and look at her now!” 

Alyssa hadn't meant to shout, not at Rhaegar. But she couldn't take it anymore, couldn't take everyone she loved suffering because of one man. 

Without saying anything, Rhaegar took Alyssa in his arms again and placed her head under his chin. He was offering Alyssa an opportunity to hide her tears, and the young girl was going to take it.

Until she heard the sound of crying.

Thinking that Rhaenys had woken up and started to cry, she slipped out of his brother's arms and entered the room, but the little princess was asleep in her crib with her arms spread wide. “Alyssa?”

Ignoring Rhaegar's call, she began to pace the room, still hearing the sound of his muffled crying. "Is something wrong?"

"Don't you hear it?" her gaze fell on the bed, or rather, under the bed. Alyssa bent down in front of the bed as her brother tried to figure out what she was doing, she didn't know what she expected to find, but something told her that this was where the crying was coming from. 

But under the bed was empty.

"What was that?"

"I thought I heard something- under your bed." Alyssa's heart began to grow restless again as Rhaegar helped her up and straightened her skirt.

She truly had thought someone was crying under Rhaegar’s bed. 

Chapter Text

Ashara

Spending time indoors was not for Ashara Dayne.

During the first few moons in the cold of Dragonstone, she hadn't had the chance to leave the castle built in the volcano. Later on, when she did, there wasn't much she could do except wander the surrounding villages and the coast.

Although King's Landing was a short distance away, it was a good change. Ashara definitely preferred staying in the Red Keep to Dragonstone.

She just had to wait for Rhaegar Targaryen to become king.

“You should’ve gone with the others.”

Elia Martell, who was playing with her daughter lying on the bed, did not even look up as she spoke. Ashara sat up from her seat by the window, but kept her gaze on the Red Keep garden.

“I’m perfectly fine where I am.”

They both knew she wasn't, and Elia couldn't suppress a giggle at the situation. She lifted the little princess into the air and as she watched her attempt to smile - Ashara didn't think the babe had yet mastered facial expressions - she didn't bother to hide the sarcasm in her voice: “Have you heard, little one? Ashara wants us to believe she is perfectly fine sitting inside with us.”

Rhaenys opened her mouth wider, as if she understood her mother's words, but she could not yet make the sounds she wanted. Still, Elia got the reaction she wanted. "Do you see that Ashara," the princess said as she took her daughter in her arms and approached her friend, "even my little girl does not believe you."

Ashara rolled her eyes, but took Rhaenys' outstretched hand and brought it to her lips. It amazed her how fast the little princess was growing. Ashara had heard her first cry and she had held a special place in her heart ever since.

Elia gently rocked her daughter as she walked around the room, Ashara picked up one of the pillows beside her and began to play with the tassels. "Is it because of Alyssa?" Elia asked in a more serious tone.

Ashara did not want to answer that question.

“She is really a sweet girl. I think you’d get along if you knew each other better.”

“I do not wish to know her better.”

(Elia placed a kiss through her daughter's hair as she rested Rhaenys' head on her shoulder, a simple attempt to hide her smile in her curls. She could imagine the jealousy Ashara harboured for the Rivers girl. When Arthur was growing up in King's Landing as a squire, Alyssa was with him, not his own sister. And as soon as they had returned to King's Landing, the green-eyed girl had started following her brother and friend around. At this very moment, while Ashara and Elia were sitting in Rhaegar's chambers, Alyssa was out riding with the two brothers.

Elia knew Ashara would rather be on horseback right now.)

"You should give her a chance. There is a reason why she is so beloved among them."

Ashara pursed her lips at her friend's words, but she couldn't deny that this girl was well liked by everyone she knew. She had hoped she wouldn't be as beautiful as she had been described when she first saw her, but Alyssa Rivers was everything she had feared: a sweet smile, eyes that shone as if they held stars, and an undeniable kindness.

She envied Alyssa's place in her brother's heart. She already had an older brother, she shouldn't have to take Ashara's.

Before the princess could reply, the silence of the room was broken by two ladies entering, laughing.

Mina Tyrell, the only Westerosi lady among them, carried a basket full of roses. Ashara did not seem to mind, for Mina had longed for the flowerbeds of Highgarden in Dragonstone, and the pink roses added a beautiful touch to the room they entered. Mina moved to Ashara's side as Lady Larra turned directly to the baby in the arms of the Martell princess. "You seem delighted, Mina." Ashara reached for one of the roses in the basket, but pulled her hand back as a thorn pricked her finger.

Elia turned to her with a worried expression, but Mina smiled and took out her handkerchief. "More like amused." she answered her friend as she wrapped Ashara's finger “Cersei Lannister has arrived at court.”

Jaime

Jaime Lannister was hiding.

Cersei had arrived at King's Landing at first light. The roads still bore the scars of winter, and no one from beyond Riverrun had dared to set out for the celebrations in honour of the new princess, except Jaime's twin. Tywin Lannister had been too proud to come himself, but he had sent his daughter.

Something inside Jaime told him that this visit was planned much earlier. Perhaps in the days when it was not yet clear whether Princess Elia would survive the childbed.

The young Lannister did not know what to think. He could not silence the protective side that cling to his family and their memories, but he could not help feeling left behind and betrayed by them. He didn't know how he should behave when he saw Cersei when he hadn't yet settled these things in his head.

As a result, when he heard that his twin was going to visit the queen, he asked permission to come to the training ground. He didn't need to think about anything as he swung his sword, there was only his opponent and how to take him down. Not to be confused, Jaime had no idea who he was up against right now, only that he was extremely clumsy and boring.

Jaime let out a deep breath as his opponent's sword fell to the ground with a loud thud. There was somewhere else he wanted to be, someone else he wanted to see.

His gaze was on the stables as he stepped away from the young men circling each other and approached the wall he was to lean against. He was thinking about her , the conversation he had with her in the barn. Her embarrassment for a moment, then her brave step. The way she looked away, but also the smile she couldn't hide. She was confusing, her every move contradicting, stealing Jaime's full attention.

When she came out of the stable with a big smile on her face, Jaime thought for a moment that he was dreaming. It was indeed the young girl coming out of the stable, but she was not looking at Jaime, she was busy calling someone who was coming behind her. It was enough for Jaime to see her, even if what she said could not be heard because she was too far away. She was wearing the most elegant riding dress he had ever seen, a fur overcoat over the dress with different shades of brown. Her hair, which she always left at least part of free, was gathered in a simple braid, but some strands - most likely from horseback - had found the opportunity to escape.

Jaime imagined the young girl running on horseback, smiling, perhaps laughing, as her hair flew.

Before he could think any more, the Silver Prince and Sword of the Morning came out of the stable. Although he found it strange to see Arthur Dayne without his armour, the knight's sword Dawn was still at his waist. But Jaime wasn't paying attention to him, no, Jaime Lannister's gaze was on Alyssa's hand wrapped around the arm of the heir to the Iron Throne. Rhaegar Targaryen pulled the young girl closer to him and smiled even wider.

Didn't this damned prince have a fucking wife?

Jaime had thought that the Targaryens' interest in their siblings was only with blood relatives.

He knew he was thinking foolishly, but the way Alyssa Rivers' smile focused on Rhaegar Targaryen made logic fly out the window.

He pushed himself away from the wall he was leaning on and caught the attention of the man standing closest to him. He knew the young man was not City Watch, perhaps a squire here for the celebrations.

He needed not to think, only to be one with his sword.

("Youngest man I've ever knighted," Arthur said as he watched Jaime Lannister.

"Probably the youngest man to be knighted." Rhaegar corrected him.

From where they stood, Alyssa could clearly see how Jaime was destroying his opponent, and to say she wasn't enjoying would be a big lie. He was a knight from the Reach, a young man with a pretty face, though he didn't stand a chance against the golden lion. "A fine choice still." she said as she leaned her head on her brother's arm, still giving some of her weight to the prince whose arm she still held. Arthur, standing on his other side, smiled at her comment.

“That was the approval I most needed, thank you Aly.”

Alyssa rolled her eyes at the knight, but was quick to turn her gaze back to Jaime. Watching him during training had become an activity she enjoyed immensely. There was a nobility, a grace in the young Lannister's movements that she had never seen at any other time.

That was why Alyssa was watching him with her full attention, of course, there was no other reason .

“Why do you say so, my love? What sets him apart from any other swordsman here in your eyes?”

How would it look if it was for me?

The way his golden hair glistened in the sun, his determined gaze, his dancing steps...

Surely she couldn't answer Rhaegar's question with that.

I will make sure you know it

“He is the only one that dares to protect his Queen.” she said, leaning her cheek against her brother's arm.

(Wishing to change the subject, Arthur Dayne hoped that the he had imagined the desire in her gaze.)

“Speaking of Lannisters, I hear his twin has arrived.”

“Why do you have to ruin my day Arthur?”

“Now, byka mandia, what do you have against that lovely lady?”

Alyssa recognised the mocking tone in her brother's voice all too well, the tone Rhaegar used to provoke her, but she couldn't find the strength to resist.

“She makes me feel small.”

“But you are small-“

“Arthur for Seven’s sake-“)

Jaime looked up involuntarily at the sound of her voice, but the sight only made him grip the hilt of his sword tighter. Alyssa Rivers stood at the foot of the stairs on Rhaegar Targaryen's arm, leaning her head against his arm, talking to Arthur Dayne. The Silver Prince's lilac eyes were focused on her, listening with amusement to the young girl's conversation. Arthur Dayne started to laugh, throwing his head back and at that moment Rhaegar Targaryen placed a kiss on the side of Alyssa’s head.

Jaime wanted to wipe that grin off his face.

Alyssa

Alyssa felt very much alive after a long time.

She wasn't sure if it was the sweet taste of the wine or the fact that she hadn't stopped dancing since she entered the hall, but the world around her was a little blurry and too colourful.

But she was having fun, her brother, her friends were with her at last, and life had returned to the Red Keep. Alyssa's heart, beating like a bird in her chest, was revitalised by the strength of those around her.

It was a perfect evening, had Alyssa did not feel a pair of eyes watching her the whole time.

She slipped away from the dancing people, grabbed a goblet from a servant's tray, stepped aside and locked eyes with the Kingsguard standing right next to the door.

Jaime Lannister was watching him.

Alyssa thought she had got used to his gaze, the meeting of their gazes wherever they were, the furtive smiles had become a habit. So much so that Alyssa sometimes did not even realise she was doing it.

But now there was a light in Jaime Lannister's green eyes that she didn't recognise, a cold light that caused a shiver to run through her body.

Alyssa was not happy about it.

She turned her gaze across the hall to Rhaegar, who was greeting the nobles. His silver hair-which Alyssa' had carefully braided- reached the shoulder of his black tunic. The chain clasped across his chest carried the coats of arms of the Seven Kingdoms, reminding everyone around him the inevitable. Alyssa caught her brother's gaze for a moment and unconsciously touched the golden dragon hanging from her neck as Rhaegar smiled at her. Rhaegar's gift, Alyssa's most precious possession.

The young girl's eyes travelled not far from Rhaegar and found Cersei Lannister, something expected, but still annoying. What kind of foolish girl was she to believe that she still had a chance with Rhaegar at a celebration for his daughter?

"If looks could kill, I'd feel very sorry Cersei Lannister right now."

Alyssa snapped out of her thoughts by her friend's voice. Jon Connington was there with that smile she had missed so much, his red hair and beard, now much longer but still well groomed. His dark green tunic was adorned with silver chains bearing his family crest, but Jon's grin attracted Alyssa's gaze the most.

Now that Jon had arrived as well, everyone Alyssa had missed was with her. At the reunion in the Red Keep gardens, she had not hesitated to throw her arms around his neck, and Arthur and Rhaegar had joined her to further embarrass Jon.

Alyssa didn't even realise she felt incomplete without them.

(Someone else had started to fill that gap.)

"I'm merely looking." she said innocently as she sipped her wine. Jon waited for her to take a sip, then swapped their goblets. It was a little festive tradition between them, one that Arthur used join in when he didn't have to wear armour at these banquets.

"Is this-" surprised at the smell, Jon tasted the wine, while Alyssa was busy emptying the goblet she had taken from him. “Since when do you drink honeyed wine?”

“It is good wine. I like good wine.” she answered her friend as if stating the obvious.

“Not compared to the Dornish, you know, actually good wine.”

“Perhaps it has grown on me.” Alyssa placed the empty goblet on the tray of a passing servant and turned her gaze back to Jaime Lannister standing by the door.

He was still watching her.

“Excuse me.”

(Jaime Lannister was full of rage.

There was no other explanation for his feelings.

It could have been the conversation he had had with Cersei just before the feast. Jaime had practically dismissed his twin for not wanting to talk. It wasn't even a conversation, he had sent Cersei away so fast that the young girl hadn't been able to say more than two sentences, one of them being  a greeting.

Jaime could attribute the bad feelings accumulated in him to the fact that his twin was with him again. He could say that Cersei had brought out the worst in him and blame it all on her. Or he could have argued how frustrating it was to see his sister chasing the Silver Prince. Of course, it was enough to make one tense when a family member disgraced herself like that.

But to be honest, Jaime didn't care about any of that.

All his attention and interest was on the young girl walking towards him, holding the skirts of her teal gown. He hadn't been able to focus on anything else since he first stepped into the feast.

Alyssa Rivers' dark hair was arranged in small braids at the back of her head like a crown, the remaining strands left free to dangle to her waist. The pearls between the braids shimmered in the candlelight, catching the eye with their white light. The dress decorated with gold embroidery might have been the most elegant gown Alyssa had ever worn, even during the week-long celebrations for the wedding, Jaime did not remember the young girl wearing such a gown.

He had a hard time looking away from the bare expanse of her neck and chest. From that neck the gold dragon medallion she never took off was dangling.

Rhaegar's symbol.

Unable - or unwilling - to her his angry expression, Rivers girl locked eyes with Jaime for a moment and then left the hall.

Jaime trailed behind her.

He had spent the last days struggling with feelings he could not explain.

The fact that Alyssa was always around Rhaegar Targaryen, and when she wasn't with him, she was after Arthur Dayne, meant only one thing in Jaime's eyes: Alyssa was going back to her old life, the life before Jaime.

Jaime didn't want that. He had left the life before he came to King's Landing behind, he would never return to that life again. He was painfully aware of this fact. Alyssa was at the centre of this new page he opened. The young man had not made this decision consciously, but he had no intention of changing it. Until today, he believed that Alyssa wanted to be there too. If he was wrong about that, he was on his own.

Jaime was a stray in this keep, and when  strays get angry, they do not think straight.

They bite.)

“You have been watching me.”

At the end of the corridor, where the noise of the feast was reduced to a mere hum, she stood facing the knight with her arms crossed. Jaime's white armour shone in the faintest light, but Alyssa's gaze was fixed on the cold expression he carried on his face.

“Is that supposed to be a question?”

“You watch me and you judge me."

"Still not a question."

Utterly shameless! He stood in front of Alyssa, uncaring. As if he would shrug his shoulders had his heavy armour would let him.

"You've been watching me all evening. What did I do to deserve your disapproval?" Alyssa insisted as she took a step closer.

Jaime straightened his back where he stood and lifted his chin. Perhaps because they were standing so close, the height difference between them was too obvious in that moment.

Something inside Alyssa cracked when the young man looked into her eyes.

“Perhaps I’m surprised.”

“About what?”

“About how you throw yourself at those lords.”

“Pardon me?”

“I've watched you and I've seen you accept every dance offer, I've seen your face light up with every compliment. They don't even have to try, you're open to any attention."

"Should I be embarrassed? Should I sulk and snub people?"

"You can be a little proud or have some dignity."

(There was one thing Jaime hadn't realized.

Alyssa, just like him, was a stray.

And she did not hesitate to bite back.)

“Pride? What gives you the right to lecture me about pride?"

"Excuse me?"

"You find it strange that I take compliments and return them, but all you do is watch from afar. Because that's all you dare to do."

This time it was Jaime who took a step closer, his hands flexing on either side of him, his gaze piercing through Alyssa.

“I’m a member of the Kingsguard-“

“You're just a boy trapped in this keep, a knight caught up in the game!"

Alyssa was aware that she was being too forward, but Jaime's every word made her angrier and forced her to express her pent-up feelings in a very, very wrong way.

It wasn't easy to push Alyssa Rivers' buttons, but when she was pushed, she didn't back down.

"What about you? A little princess with a world of her own? A little girl who can't survive without Rhaegar's love?"

The duo's voices echoed down the corridor, but all Alyssa could focus on was the feeling of Jaime Lannister's breath on her face.

(Jaime's gaze was fixed on the tears gathering at the corner of Alyssa's eyes, tears he hated himself for causing.)

“You are a cruel man, Jaime Lannister.” said Alyssa, unable to stop her voice from cracking. There was nothing left for her to do but turn round and walk away.

(Jaime Lannister froze in the middle of the corridor, cursing himself.)

—•—

When Rhaegar Targaryen entered her chambers, he found Alyssa Rivers sitting on her bed without a single thought behind her green eyes. He went to her and took her in his embrace, tucking her head under his chin, guarding her from the rest of the world. Tears started to roll down her reddened cheeks and she wept. Rhaegar did not ask, thanks to the Seven he didn’t because Alyssa did not know why was her heart ached from the way Jaime Lannister looked at her.

Chapter Text

Jaime

Jaime's head was hurting.

He did not know how long he had stood in that empty corridor after watching Alyssa left, her skirts flaring. He must have heard some giggling, a knight and a lady who thought they were making a secret escape. But even then Jaime couldn't move from where he stood. His body was rigid and he was cold in a senseless way. It was as if Alyssa had taken all the warmth with her.

When Ser Lewyn Martell warned him, he unconsciously turned back to the door of the Great Hall, but he was not in his right mind. He could not get Alyssa's tear-filled eyes and trembling lips out of his mind. The only thing he heard were her words:

“You are a cruel man, Jaime Lannister.”

Jaime did not wish to be cruel.

As he climbed the steps of the White Sword Tower, all he wanted to do was shed his armour and bury himself in bed. He only had a few hours to rest before returning to the queen and he did not want to waste a moment. Going back to the queen meant seeing Alyssa again, and Jaime would be ready for that.

He was going to right his wrong.

As he waited in the dark for a squire to untie his armour, his eyes closed repeatedly, his head even dropped for a moment. When he was finally free of the iron burden, he went to his room, a heavier one still in his heart. But when he opened the door, all his dreams of rest were shattered.

Sitting in the centre of Jaime's bed, playing with her golden hair, was none other than Cersei Lannister. The young girl was wearing nothing but a nightgown, and the moment she saw her twin, she got off the bed and ran to the door, flinging her white skirts. As Jaime hurriedly closed the door, Cersei was quick to throw her arms around his neck.

His sister took Jaime's face in her hands, but as she rose on her tiptoes, he grabbed her slender wrists and pushed her away. When Cersei, not realising she had been rejected, tried to kiss him again, Jaime took her by the shoulders and pulled her aside.

“You are late already, we do not have much time.” 

“For what, exactly?”

When Cersei's lips parted, not a word came out this time. Taking advantage of her confusion, Jaime stepped back between the door and his twin and took long strides to the centre of the room. But as he turned back to her, Cersei was staring at him, her arms crossed, her brow furrowed. 

“What is wrong with you? You have been avoiding me, running of at the very sight of me!”

“Perhaps I do not actually wish to speak to you!”

The more Jaime tried to run away from her, the more Cersei's stubbornness grew, and when the young knight raised his voice, his twin moved closer rather than retreating.

“We have not seen each other for almost a year! Have you not missed me at all?”

“Have you missed me, Cersei? Has is it ever occurred to write me a fucking sentence while I was trapped here? Or were you too comfortable to think about me, spending your precious days in Casterly Rock?”

The emotions that had been building up in him since the day the young man had put on that white cloak were becoming unquenchable. Seeing Cersei standing in front of him and still demanding his attention after leaving him in this keep for a year, was the last straw for him. The entitled expression on the young girl's face fuelled the anger in him, straining Jaime's already frayed nerves.

“I have paid quite a lot gold to a stupid servant so I could visit you here, you could appreciate that.”

“You- what have you done?”

“How else was I supposed to find your chambers Jaime?”

“Perhaps with a solution that does not involve the servants? It can't be that hard to find me outside my room-"

"Are these the words of the fool who runs away from me? If you had given me a moment's thought, I wouldn't have had to come to your room!

"Why can't it occur to you for a moment that I do not wish to see you or talk to you?"

(Even as she heard her twin's words, something did not sit right for Cersei. This angry knight standing before her was very different from the Jaime she had left behind a year ago. Jaime would listen to her, respond to her touch.

Jaime would want Cersei.

Right now, the golden-haired girl didn't know what to do. She had waited months for this moment, to be in Jaime's arms again, to have someone hold her, to feel safe. She could not feel safe in any way without Jaime, not even in the familiar corridors of Casterly Rock.

But her twin no longer seemed to want to protect her.

That was what Cersei could not understand. A year ago, her twin would have treated every word that came from her lips as an order, made it his duty to grant Cersei's every wish. Could that change just because they were estranged?

The seeds of doubt in the young girl's heart were beginning to sprout, nourished by fear).

Jaime saw very clearly in those green eyes the moment Cersei recognized the rejection. He took a deep breath as he watched those eyes open wider, watched the young girl's lips part, watched Cersei fold her hands across her chest. But even now their bewilderment seemed contrived and unreal to Jaime. He found it hard to believe that Cersei was actually upset by his words, could not help but think of his twin's every move as a performance.

“You do not mean that.”

“I do.” The young man's voice did not tremble as he said it, on the contrary, a weight was lifted from him as the truth spilled from his lips.

"What happened to you, Jaime?" Cersei stepped forward with one last movement, grasping Jaime's collar with trembling hands. "You can't expect me to believe you do not really want me!"

Ah, so that was her real problem. Cersei could not accept the thought that someone didn't want her. It was not about Jaime.

Cersei was only thinking of herself.

He slipped out of his twin's grasp again, but this time he did not let go of the young girl's wrists, his grip was tight, though he was careful not to hurt her. “I do not want you, I do not wish to see your face, I do not want you in my chambers. Now leave, sister, for I need to rest.”

Cersei hesitated to retreat, a search in her eyes, which she fixed stubbornly on Jaime. She should have been looking for the young man who had submitted to her will, who had given his life to her desires. But Jaime had nothing left to give her. He was now trying to collect his own pieces, to put them together again.

Otherwise there would be nothing left of him.

When Cersei left the room, Jaime collapsed on his bed. He was tired both mentally and physically, impatient to throw himself into sleep’s arms.

Ashara

Ashara was dying to get out of the Red Keep. And to think how glad she was to escape the cold of Dragonstone.

Ashara did not like court life. Lords, knights, petty nobles from all corners of the Riverlands... Everywhere she turned, she encountered a crowd of people, but nowhere could she blend in. She could not feel that she belonged anywhere in the land of Westeros. Since their arrival, she had spent every day trailing after either Elia or her brother.

The only time she could relax and not be interfered by someone else was when she spent hours with little Rhaenys. Although she was almost eighteen, neither marriage nor motherhood had ever been a dream of hers. But every day she spent with the little princess, little seeds were growing in her heart. Perhaps one day, she might have her own daughter in her arms.

In the morning after the great feast, she again took her breath in the room where Rhaenys slept. Queen Rhaella had taken Elia to present her to the court ladies immediately after breakfast, followed by Elia's uncle Lewyn Martell and the Queen's sworn bodyguard Jaime Lannister. Ser Lewyn was a familiar face to Ashara, one she had grown accustomed to in the moons they had spent in Dragonstone. But Jaime Lannister was even younger than Ashara, a boy who had clearly never experienced any hardship in his life. How he had been given the Queen's trust, the young girl could not understand, even if it was her own brother who had given Lannister his knighthood.

When she arrived at the chambers of the heir to the Iron Throne, the knight standing at the door smiled and let her in. Ser Barristan Selmy was one of the older knights of the Kingsguard whom Arthur had always held in high esteem, but his reassuring smile explained why he had been appointed guardian to the young prince. Even before the door opened, Ashara knew Viserys was inside.

Viserys' presence meant that there was a bastard in there that the Dayne girl was not too keen to see.

Indeed, when Ashara entered, she locked eyes with the young girl sitting at the foot of the bed, laughing with Rhaenys in her arms and the silver-haired prince beside her. Her hair, which had been carefully adorned every day since they had arrived from Dragonstone, was gathered in a single braid and tied with an orange ribbon, instead of hanging in long waves at her waist. A gold dragon necklace glittered around her neck as always, contrasting with her dark green dress. Alyssa Rivers' large eyes seemed to draw Ashara in, but today, those eyes, where blue and green danced in harmony, were misty. You could tell she had been crying by the puffiness under her eyes and the redness that could be seen when you looked closely. She had to have been crying all night to be like this.

“Good morrows Ashara.”

Both girls turned their heads at the sound from across, Ashara only realizing now that her brother was in the chambers. Arthur Dayne stood in the doorway of the balcony, his armour gleaming in the morning light.

“Good morrows brother.” She made her way to the bed with slow steps, and when she locked eyes with Alyssa again, the young girl nodded to her. Cautiously, she sat down next to Alyssa and placed a kiss on Rhaenys' head. The little princess' uncle rested his cheek against Alyssa's arm, his eyes fixed on Ashara. Alyssa handed Ashara the babe in her arms, and the moment her lap was empty, she sat Viserys there. The silver-haired prince must have been almost four years old, but he did not even open his mouth as he looked at Ashara, seeming to try to shrink as small as possible in Alyssa Rivers' arms.

“Do you like your niece, little prince?” Ashara said, trying to put as friendly a smile on her face as possible "She has waited a long time to meet you.”

Instead of answering, Viserys took Alyssa's braid in his hand and rested his head on her chest. Ashara looked at her brother and then at the young girl sitting next to her as if waiting for an explanation, but Alyssa Rivers only offered a tired smile.

What was wrong with this girl?

Arthur approached, his armour clinking with each step, and patted Alyssa's head, then Viserys', before kneeling in front of the pair. “Our young prince here is too excited for the melee on the morrow, I do not believe he thinks about anything else.”

“Will you join, Arthur?”

Alyssa sounded as tired as she looked, but she tried to put a smile on her face. Ashara's brother turned his attention to Rhaenys, though he winked at her as he answered the younger girl.

"Would it be any fun without me joining in?"

"I do not think you are still the darling of the court, many ladies say Jaime Lannister will outshine everyone else."

(Alyssa had to suppress the urge to grimace at the sound of his name, hugging the prince in her arms tighter for strength.)

"He shall come through, but that young man has plenty of time. Have some faith in your brother, Ashara."

"I could trust you more in a tournament." After a short laugh, she added, "Why is there only a melee and not a proper tournament for the entertainment?"

The Daynes turned to Alyssa, the only one who could answer this question, the one who had been in King's Landing, who had witnessed all the preparations. As if imitating them, Viserys raised his head and fixed his violet eyes on the young girl's face.

“The King did not see it fit.” Alyssa Rivers could only say.

Oh, of course the king did not see it fit. A tournament was too much for a princess who looked and smelled Dornish!

As a tense silence began to fall over the chamber, Alyssa stood up, not letting Viserys off her arms, and when the little prince chuckled because of moving, she smiled again "It's too nice a day to stay inside, don't you want to take your niece for a walk in the garden, byka zaldrīzes?”

Ashara was the only one surprised by the Valyrian that spilled from the young girl's lips, her older brother standing up with Alyssa, ruffling his silver hair as the little prince threw his arms up in joy and the Rivers girl offered a grateful smile.

Ashara continued to sit with Rhaenys beginning to stir in her arms, until Alyssa turned to her with a wide smile. The sadness in her eyes was hidden behind a fog, the smile on her lips impossible to resist. 

Ashara was beginning to realise why everyone was so fond of Alyssa Rivers.

The pure smile on the young girl's face inadvertently warmed Ashara's heart, especially knowing that Alyssa was doing this to cheer up those around her, hiding her own sadness.

There was a similar smile on the lips of the two young girls walking side by side as the small party made their way to the keep gardens, led by Arthur Dayne.

Rhaegar

Rhaegar Targaryen was just beginning to realise how much he had grown accustomed to the peace of Dragonstone.

His cheeks hurt from smiling too much after spending all day trying to please the lords and ladies. Court had been even more miserable since he had left. Everyone he spoke to somehow managed to bring up his father, and tried to ask Rhaegar in a way they assumed was euphemistic when he would take the throne. Of course, he could not tell these nobles who considered themselves so important that what they were doing was treason. Of course, he could have, but it was exhausting to watch them struggle as they tried to spin it somehow.

Especially with a green-eyed girl on his mind.

Alyssa had cried herself to sleep in Rhaegar's arms the night before. Rhaegar had pulled the pearls out of her hair as best he could, forcing her out of the dress he had ordered for her as a gift, before tucking the young girl under the sheets. Satisfied that his sister was asleep, he left the room and found Lyra Flowers, one of his mother's ladies, and instructed her to attend to Alyssa first thing in the morning. Because, as he had predicted, he had to fulfil the duties of heir that everyone expected of him from the early hours of the morning. He had thought of using the excuse of seeing her daughter to flee from the crowd, but Elia had used it first.  

But now, as the last rays of the sun illuminated the garden, he had the opportunity to search for his sister without anyone following him, demanding anything of him.

But Alyssa Rivers was not the first to find him.

Rhaegar did not understand how Varys - Lord Varys - had suddenly appeared at the end of the corridor. It was one of The Spider's pet peeves, showing up unexpectedly with that knowing smile on his face, ruining Rhaegar's day.

Reluctantly, he slowed his pace as he approached the eunuch and watched him bow in greeting.

“Your Highness.”

“Lord Varys. What a pleasure.”

“A pleasure indeed my prince.”

He spoke in a slow tone that made Rhaegar extremely uncomfortable. His silky voice and polite words were meant to make him more approachable, of course, but they backfired on the heir to the Iron Throne. Because Varys was a fraud from start to finish. The thing Rhaegar hated most in this life.

"It is indeed a great honour to have you with us again, we have been so deprived of your beautiful family here."

"That is one of the beauties of being heir, if you know what I mean." Rhaegar tried to put a humorous spin on his words, but the harshness of what came out of his mouth was evident in his tone. He was too tired for that, and the shorter he kept the conversation, the better.

"An heir without an heir, what a fragile position you occupy. Your disappointment must be great, the little princess does not seem well suited to our king's demands."

Rhaegar's eye twitched. Varys's tongue had grown too long in the last year, he must be getting that from the king's adoration.

His first order when he came back would be to get rid of this spider.

“I love my daughter very dearly, and I shall have a son my lord. Soon, if the gods wish it.”

“How cruel is it, we poor people are punished for what the gods have decreed."

"Do not worry about my family, I am more than able to protect them."

“Oh I know, what Your Highness is capable of,” Varys said, finally taking a step away from Rhaegar "and I certainly cannot wait to see what you do”

The heir to the Iron Throne might have had more to do with this spider if his sister had not been on his mind, but his priorities were different.

He arrived in front of Viserys' chambers, locking eyes with Ser Barristan, and as he bowed, he was about to ask if Alyssa was inside when he realised the door was cracked. From inside, a song Rhaegar had not heard in a long time could be heard:

“When you're fast asleep”

Ser Barristan had an understanding smile on his face, the knight stepped aside so that the prince could approach. 

“In dreams you will lose your heartaches,
Whatever you wish for, you keep”

Hearing Alyssa's singing voice took Rhaegar back to memories he had not thought of in a long time. To afternoons when they were both too young, when they had fled every member of the Kingsguard at the insistence of the dark-haired girl, and had laid under the great tree in Godswood, the little girl braiding their hair as Rhaegar lay in Alyssa's lap. There was no Arthur or Jon then, only these two children in the caged Red Keep. Rhaella mourned her lost babies, Aerys spewed hatred. Tywin Lannister was the head of the keep, but his duty was to rule the Seven Kingdoms, not the family.

There were Maesters and knights following Rhaegar around. At first the Maesters allowed Alyssa to come, but when Aerys Targaryen heard about it, the king forbade it. He did not find it appropriate for a bastard to train with the prince, and when Rhaegar wanted to tell his mother, Alyssa silenced him, stating that she did not want to upset the queen any more.

“Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling through”

As the song drew to a close, Rhaegar entered the chamber with a heaviness in his heart. Alyssa was leaning back against the head of the bed, her fingers running through Viserys' silver hair as he slept in her lap. Viserys curled in her lap, one hand clutching Alyssa's dress.

She smiled as she locked eyes with her brother, her long hair loose, dark locks falling across her face. It was then that Rhaegar noticed the orange ribbon in front of the window next to the bed.

“No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
The dream that you wish will come true”

When the song ended, the silver-haired prince sat on the end of the bed, Alyssa had not removed her hands from Viserys' curls. Up close, Rhaegar could see the redness in her eyes, but there was no sign of tears.

"He was too tired in the garden, and the queen wanted to spend time with Rhaenys, so I did not want to leave my little dragon alone."

Rhaegar smiled, reaching for one of Alyssa's hands and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.“Issa dōna mandia,” he said without letting go of her hand "I was worried about you."

“Do not worry about me, lēkia” It always pleased Rhaegar to hear his native tongue from Alyssa's lips, even if the young girl only knew a few phrases.

"You cannot expect that from me after last night. What upset you, who upset you? Tell me, and I will avenge every tear of yours."

"The only thing that upsets me," Alyssa squeezed Rhaegar's hand, the smile on her face so sad, yet so sweet, that the prince's heart squeezed tighter, "is knowing that I'm troubling you. If you want me to be well, let's leave that matter and enjoy our time together."

Rhaegar knew stubbornness would not work with Alyssa, so he stood up and sat down next to his sister. They had to move extremely slowly so to not wake Viserys, but eventually, with Alyssa in his arms, Rhaegar's worries began to dissipate.

(As her brother placed her head under his chin, Alyssa held onto the prince's hand in her lap. Sitting here, with her brothers, every pain dissipated, problems became smaller.)

Chapter Text

Rhaella 

Rhaella Targaryen was feeling like a different woman looking at herself in the mirror. 

She was unable to take her eyes off her reflection as two new ladies, surprises of Rhaegar, as well as Elia, were working on her dress and hair. Minisa Whent, a young girl, niece of Kingsguard Oswell Whent, was making sure the sleeves of the red dress were tied correctly with a serious expression on her face, while Malora Hightower was fussing with the braiding of her silver hair. All of her hair was gathered in a long braid, and the Hightower girl had managed to tuck the few strands that had escaped, in small braids, all the while keeping the elegant style intact. A golden, gem-studded crown was placed on her head, and the weight of Seven Kingdoms rested upon it. 

Rhaella continued to study her reflection with a smile on her face. The red dress fit her perfectly, a thin mesh covering the bosom left open by the dress. The gold necklace around her neck sparkled just above the thin fabric, the precious stones on it drawing attention. It had been her mother's gift to Rhaella for her betrothal, and she remembered the day Shaera Targaryen had placed it around her daughter's neck with an embarrassed look on her face. Everything was different then, her grandfather Aegon was still king, Aerys was still enjoying his youth with his best friends Tywin and their cousin Steffon on a new adventure every day, and Rhaella was spending her days at the Red Keep with Joanna Lannister and Meria Martell. When she met the knowing looks of her mother and Elys while running around the garden with her friends, she would send them a kiss, a knight who came with Steffon from the Stormlands on her mind, even though she knew they would never approve. 

Where was that knight now, with his dark wavy hair, kind blue eyes, and the most beautiful smile Rhaella had ever seen, the knight who made the young princess's heart leap out of her chest every time they met in the keep gardens? Was the young man who stole Rhaella's first kiss still as kind and thoughtful as he was then? Or had the years turned him into someone else?

“Your Majesty.” 

Malora, afraid to make eye contact with her, took a step back, just like Minisa, and stood with her hands clasped in front of her. How sweet, how young they both were! Malora's red-brown hair was gathered under a thin veil, and her embroidered green dress was accessorised only by a necklace with a seven-pointed star. Minisa, who looked to be about the same age as the Lady Hightower, was a head taller than her, her blonde hair gathered in small braids like a crown on her head, and her blue dress was a little too tight. 

Rhaella took both girls gently by the chin and lifted their heads. "When you address me I expect you to look at my eyes, little ones." she said, trying to suppress a smile, both girls looking very embarrassed. She stepped back to put them out of their misery and left the room after taking one last look at herself in the mirror. 

Because Jaime Lannister was to take part in the melee today, she had advised the young knight to rest, surely she could go to Viserys' room, where Ser Barristan was waiting, with her two ladies in tow. 

A familiar scene greeted her in the centre of the room: Alyssa Rivers sitting on one of the pillows scattered on the floor, Viserys crouched beside her, pointing to the open page of the book on her lap. As she entered, Viserys rose to his feet, ran towards her and Alyssa rose to greet the queen as Rhaella bent to embrace her son. 

Viserys was dressed in a black tunic, prepared for the day, as it would be his first appearance at a large event since his brother's wedding. His silver locks, which had been growing longer of late, stirred as he ran into Rhaella's arms.

With her son in her arms, Rhaella looked at the young girl bowing before her. Alyssa was wearing one of the dresses Rhaegar had prepared as a gift. The apricot gown fit the young girl, who was nearly eight and ten, and her hair was braided and placed on top of her head like a crown. Her dark hair was adorned with pearls like at the feast, which led to Rhaella realizing she had to find something new for Alyssa. The young girl was Rhaella's sweet girl, if not by name, and she had to be seen as such.

As Rhaella rose to her feet, holding Viserys' small hand in her palm, Alyssa stood straight as well, but the young girl's eyes were fixed somewhere behind Rhaella. Before the Queen could ask what had happened, the door opened and Ser Gerold's voice sounded:

“His Majesty, the King”

Although she tried to suppress the urge to grimace, Viserys' grip on her legs made Rhaella ache inside. Pain dripped from her heart, burning her whole body like fire. Rhaella's joy, her one and only, was looking for a place to hide with the sound of his father’s name. 

Rhaella held her head high as she continued to hold her son's hand, and as everyone else greeted the king as he entered Rhaella continued to stare into the violet eyes of her husband, her brother. Aerys' silver hair had been combed, even washed, since she had last seen him. He wore a black tunic like his son's, gold chains bearing the symbols of the Seven Kingdoms hanging from his shoulders. Even the dragons at the end of his heavy, red-gold crown sent shivers down Rhaella's spine. 

"Rhaella." said Aerys as he entered, before turning his gaze to Viserys. Rhaella's son looked to Alyssa first, and when his sister nodded, he turned to face his mother. Rhaella had no choice but to nod in agreement. 

“Your Majesty." she answered without her boy letting go of her hand. That seemed to be enough for Aerys. 

“They are waiting for us. We should leave.”

He spoke slowly, in short sentences, trying to focus his gaze on Rhaella's face. 

Aerys Targaryen was really trying. 

As he left the room, Rhaella, Viserys and the Kingsguard followed. When they reached the royal balcony where they were to watch the melee, Aerys turned to those behind him. At first Rhaella thought he was looking at her, but no, he was staring at Alyssa Rivers. 

On any other day, Rhaella might have made a scene over the absurdity of his behavior. Alyssa had been entrusted to Rhaella by their mother. She had grown up in her hands since she was born, she was the apple of Rhaegar's eye, the older sister who practically raised Viserys. She had to look after her daughter, if not for them, then for the memory of Elys, as Elys was a bastard, and Alyssa's last name came from her mother, not her unknown father. 

But now, in front of the court, dozens of nobles from the Riverlands, the king was appearing for the first time. The king, whose madness was whispered about, was trying for the first time, and Rhaella could not risk it. 

"Alyssa, sweet girl," she called to the young girl in standing uncomfortably, "why don't you sit with Lord Connington? I believe he saved a seat for you." 

Alyssa gathered up her skirts without protest and made her way down the steps, it took her a moment to find her red-haired friend but eventually Rhaella saw her seated next to Jon Connington. 

Her throat tightened as she took her place beside Aerys, but Rhaella continued to hold her son's hand, because she would protect her children somehow. 

Even if it meant being a wall between Aerys Targaryen and the world. 

Jaime

Jaime Lannister had a melee to prepare for. But instead of being at the training ground or putting on his armour, he was running through the corridors of the Red Keep. 

He tried not to look alarmed to the people he passed, but he could not find Alyssa Rivers anywhere. He looked in the young girl's chambers, the kitchen, the stables, even the library.

(The young girl had mentioned in a conversation months ago that she preferred to retreat to the library and spend hours among books when she was not looking after Viserys. Jaime knew himself as a forgetful person, but this detail had surprisingly stuck in the back of his mind.)

The lack of Kingsguard around meant that the royal family had already gone up to the royal balcony, as well as the fact that Jaime was extremely late. But he could not go up there without checking one last place. 

As he made his way to Prince Viserys' chambers, two unfamiliar ladies passed by, the blonde one even turned her head to look at Jaime again. 

When he arrived at the prince's chambers, there were no knights at the door, but that did not mean no one was here. At least Jaime hoped so. 

He entered, hoping to find the young girl alone, but the room was empty. A book with faded pages was left open on the floor next to the discarded pillows. 

She was here. But Jaime was late.

As he was about to leave the room, the young knight's gaze fell on the window. He did not know why, but he was thankful for it because an orange ribbon was there. 

A ribbon of the same colour as the flowers Jaime had left in front of Alyssa's room. 

Not even thinking, Jaime crossed the room with long strides and grabbed the ribbon. He knew he was late, so he left the chambers, slamming the door behind him without much thought.

When he arrived at the field, everyone was already in place, Jaime was one of the last few knights who had not donned his armour. There were familiar faces from the Red Keep’s training grounds, as well as young, new faces, if he could recognise them at all with his helmets.

Jaime hurriedly tied the orange ribbon around his belt as his squire checked his armour for the last time. The delicate fabric was knotted tightly after a few wraps, and when Jaime was sure it would not fall off, the squire was ready, helmet in hand. 

He grabbed the helmet with one hand, tucked it under his seat, gripped his sword with the other and walked to the other knights waiting. When he turned his gaze to the audience, the first thing that caught his eye was Queen Rhaella. Checking the whereabouts of the queen he had been protecting for a year had become something he did unconsciously. The queen of the Seven Kingdoms sat with her head held high, her young son on one side and her husband on the other. Rhaella Targaryen, dressed in red, with her braided silver hair, red dress and shimmering crown, stood out more than ever. 

Next to her, the king looked more haggard, tired and sickly. Cleaner, but older. He was only a few years older than Queen Rhaella, but next to him, she shone with youth and beauty. 

Although there were other members of the royal family and accompanying nobles on the royal balcony, it took Jaime a few seconds to find the person he was looking for. Alyssa Rivers was sitting a little away from the royal family, right next to a lord (he thought it was Connington, but he did not trust his memory) with red hair and a beard of the same striking colour. A few strands of her hair were gathered at the back of her head in a way that Jaime thought suited her well, the rest of her waves falling gracefully down her neck and - the young knight had just realised - her well-open collar. Her gown, like a joke of the gods, was too close to the colour of the ribbon tied to Jaime's belt. The gown, like the one she wore at the feast, was decorated with dark embroidery and precious stones that sparkled in the sun. 

Jaime's gaze travelled first to the delicate neck where the golden dragon necklace dangled, then to her face. Her cheeks, flushed with heat, showed off her youth, and her pink, full lips curled mischievously at the words whispered in her ear by the man sitting next to her

What could she be laughing at that red jester for?

The green flames inside Jaime were starting to flare up.

Soon Jaime would be out there. Would Alyssa watch him, would she wish him to win? 

Would she notice the ribbon around Jaime's belt? Would she notice that the ribbon, the same colour as the lilies he had given her and the dress she was now wearing, was worn because he was in need of her attention and good wishes? 

(Would she understand Jaime's feelings that he could not dare to express?)

Before the young knight could get lost in his thoughts, the start of the melee was signalled.

Alyssa 

Alyssa Rivers was grateful for her friend's presence.

Jon Connington leaned back comfortably, running his hands through his red hair, which had been tousled by the wind that had been blowing too hard today. He had chosen a dark blue tunic for the day, and over his right shoulder dangled the symbol of his family, two Griffins, on a silver chain. When Alyssa's gaze lingered on the knights in the field, or when the young girl was silent for more than a few moments, the young lord would draw her attention again.

Having him down there was too much of a distraction for Alyssa. 

Guilt had been eating away at her for two days. Yes, Jaime Lannister's words were rude, even cruel. Just because the young girl, who had spent her entire life in the Red Keep, had only one night of fun, perhaps flirted with some, did not mean that she deserved those words. Was there anything concerning for the young knight in this matter?

(Alyssa was afraid to think too much about the reason for his comments, because she did not know how to face what she would realise.

In other words, she did not know how to face herself.)

Alyssa's eyes involuntarily shifted to him, as his golden hair made him stand out immediately among the other knights.

It was at this point that Jon's speech interrupted her thoughts, much to her delight.

"Look at these wretches, none of them will stand a chance against Arthur!"

"So I presume you did not join because you were afraid of our friend?"

Jon smiled and shrugged as Alyssa turned back to her friend. 

"No need to waste energy on a competition with a clear winner. I might have joined if there was a tournament, but I've learnt not to challenge Arthur at the sword."

Alyssa chuckled as she recalled the trainings she had watched. Rhaegar, Jon and Arthur used to spend hours in the garden of the Red Keep, and Alyssa would watch them with flowers in her lap or a perhaps an embroidery. They could never beat Arthur ever since they were young, but Rhaegar had improved greatly in the last few years.

The knights began to arrive in pairs, one after the other, the first to appear were from houses Alyssa had trouble recognising. Each presented themselves to the Roya family sitting at the royal balcony, then withdrew. As Lannister approached the front, Alyssa averted her gaze, afraid that if she did not look away until the young knight had backed away, she would lock eyes with him. 

(She was not wrong. Jaime had only presented himself, returning without asking for any lady's favour, but all the while he had tried to catch Alyssa's gaze. 

The only person that noticed was Cersei Lannister. Jaime's twin, who was waiting for Jaime to return to her for once, perhaps even to ask for her favor.)

Arthur, who came out just before Rhaegar, accepted the piece of cloth offered by Princess Elia with a knowing smile on his face, saying that it would "guarantee his victory". Rhaegar was busy laughing as Arthur winked at his friend following him. 

Alyssa took indescribable pleasure in seeing her brother so happy. Perhaps he would ask Alyssa for her favor, just as he had done in the early days of his knighthood. Alyssa remembered with a smile the day the silver prince won his first tournament as a knight and crowned her as the “Queen of Love and Beauty”.

But it was the queen who gave her favor to the heir to the throne, descending the steps with all her grace. Wishing her son luck, Rhaella Targaryen returned to her seat and the competitions began.

“Jaime Lannister seems quite brave, he did not even ask for anyone's favour."

Alyssa wished Jon would find something else to talk about. But she answered her friend without her voice breaking. 

"Just because he's overconfident it does not mean he shall win."

"There are those who think he will disarm Arthur," Jon said, not taking his blue eyes off the two knights whose names they did not even know. 

"He has to defeat Rhaegar first."

"You don’t believe he is that good?"

"I believe I trust my brother more than you do." Alyssa was trying her best to draw attention away from the Lannister, but her efforts were in vain.

Jaime Lannister, who soon took the field, was eliminating all his rivals. Young or old, he was swinging his sword with fast and sharp movements, parrying the attacks coming at him. Although she was used to watching him train, Alyssa had never seen him like this. 

(Every time Jaime Lannister turned his gaze to the audience, he found Alyssa Rivers' green eyes on him. When some of the ladies recoiled in fear, she leaned even further forward and continued to watch with a serious expression on her face.

Good.

That was exactly what Jaime wanted.)

Similarly, Rhaegar and Arthur were also triumphant, which meant that they would come across at some point. In such a situation, Alyssa would wish her brother or her friend to win, wouldn't she?

It did not take long for the scenario that haunted the young girl's mind to come true. Just before Jaime Lannister and Rhaegar Targaryen faced each other, the Silver Prince took off his helmet and approached his wife who was watching him. As Rhaegar bowed to her, Elia Martell sent a kiss to her husband with a sweet smile on her face.

Jaime Lannister, on the other hand, tucked his helmet under his arm and was busy throwing his golden hair back from his face. The fact that young knight's gaze stayed on the royal family gave Alyssa a chance to watch him. The determined look on his face, his armour gleaming in the sun and-

Oh.

Oh.

Alyssa felt her heart tighten. She recognised the thin orange fabric tied to the young knight's black leather belt. It was the same ribbon she had used to tie her hair the day before. She must have left it after unbraiding her hair in Viserys' room. 

Why did Jaime have it? And more than that, why was it tied to Jaime's belt?

(Jon Connington was not sure if he should be worried when he noticed his companion's eyes widening and her breathing quickening. He followed her gaze to Rhaegar, who was showing affection to his wife, and a little behind him stood Jaime Lannister with a serious expression. Three large rubies stood out in the centre of Rhaegar's dark armour, and dragon wings rose from the helmet he held in his hand. On the other hand, Jaime Lannister's white armour embroidered with the three-headed dragon symbol was shining. 

Could it be that Alyssa was worried her brother would be harmed? Rhaegar was also a knight and his success was obvious. But Jaime Lannister had earned his knighthood at the age of six and ten, then been accepted into the Kingsguard in the same year. 

He took her hand and brought it to his lips to ease her fear. Alyssa had always been hungry for touch, and as someone who grew up with her, Jon knew physical contact was the easiest thing to calm her.)

Alyssa turned her head to her friend as he grasped her hand. Her heart fluttered like a bird in her chest, not understanding enough to put her feelings into words. When Jon looked at her with questioning eyes, she gripped his hand tighter and smiled as if to thank him.

(The last thing Jaime Lannister saw before he put on his helmet was Alyssa Rivers holding the lord's hand and smiling at him.)

It was not clear who moved first or who struck the first blow. All Alyssa could follow was the echoing sound of swords clashing and the footsteps of the two knights. Rhaegar was moving confidently as if repeating the steps he had memorised. Jaime was fast, his movements sudden. 

Jaime was aggressive, not afraid to attack. He was only giving Rhaegar time to defend himself, then attacking again.

Alyssa knew her brother would be fine, Jaime would retreat when it looked like he was going to do the prince real harm, but when Rhaegar looked like he was going to lunge forward, he would swing his sword again. The sword fit him like an extension of his body, swinging in sharp movements.

Alyssa was mesmerised.

When he approached Rhaegar's defence again, Alyssa thought the contest was over. But the silver prince's swing struck Jaime's helmet and the young knight was thrown backwards.

If he had fallen to the ground, Alyssa could not guarantee that she would not have ran off to check on him.

Taking advantage of Jaime's loss of balance, Rhaegar rushed forward again, but Lannister's movements were now more violent. Accompanied by the surprised howl of the audience, the Silver Prince's sword fell to the ground with a great noise.

Jaime Lannister had won.

(As the applause rose, Jaime took off his helmet, while the prince in front of him did the same. Rhaegar Targaryen was smiling as his silver hair, gathered in a long braid, came into view. 

A few steps closed the distance between them and the heir to the throne shook Jaime's hand. The congratulations and applause of the onlookers ensured that only he would hear the prince's next words: 

"I can see now that my family is in good hands."

Jaime could only respond with a smile so big it hurt his face, too out of breath to speak. With the prince's retreating back he grasped the ribbon tied to his belt with his free hand, from a distance one might have thought he was just holding the belt but Jaime hoped Alyssa had noticed.)

(Alyssa Rivers wasn't the only one who noticed. Ashara Dayne's keen eyes caught the young girl Jaime Lannister was looking at with sparkling eyes. Just as she caught the annoyance on Cersei Lannister's face.)

Alyssa's chest swelled with a pride she could not, or should not, admit, but it was clear that Jaime Lannister's next challenge would end in defeat. Arthur Dayne, who came to the field with Dawn, the most precious legacy of his family, defeated Jaime Lannister and became the winner of the melee. 

As per tradition, a crown made of flowers was brought so that Princess Elia, whose favor Arthur had taken, could be declared “Queen of Love and Beauty”. Elia Martell, holding the skirts of her dress, came to the royal balcony and leaned forward to receive the crown from Sword of the Morning, but as she took it in her hand, a strong wind blew the petals of the flowers away. The Princess and Ashara Dayne, standing next to her, laughed as some of the ladies sitting nearby raised their hands to catch the colourful petals flying away.

Alyssa Rivers was able to catch a rose petal in the darkest shade of blue.

Chapter Text

Ashara

Ashara Dayne was feeling comfortable after a long time. 

She breathed in the forest air as she rode on horseback, wearing trousers instead of heavy dresses, her long hair tied back. They were a small party, with Jon Connington joining in the laughter as the Silver Prince and Ashara's older brother bickered for the lead, and Alyssa Rivers, right next to Ashara, watching them with a big smile on her face, joining in the banter. 

They were almost at the end of their time in King's Landing and Ashara was getting used to her brother's family here. Especially the sight in front of her made her realise why Arthur Dayne was so attached to this trinity. 

While she was lost in thought, the others in front suddenly picked up speed. It was something she had not expected while travelling along the path, but seeing Alyssa Rivers grinning at her and lunging forward encouraged her to speed up as well. 

Unlike Ashara, the young girl wore a gown even on horseback. The skirts of her riding dress allowed her to throw her legs over either side of the saddle, but Ashara did not think it was very comfortable. Nevertheless, Alyssa Rivers rode with grace. And to Ashara's surprise, she was quite a skilful rider. 

(She had not expected someone who spent all day in the palace chasing the little prince to be so fond of the outdoors.)

Although they were galloping, Alyssa was not far behind the other three. The prince and Arthur were in a race, the red-haired lord passing the back of the pack at every turn and narrowly missing second place. Alyssa was careful to keep a safe distance between them. 

When Ashara caught up to her, she offered a smile similar to the young girl's, Alyssa's response was to grip the saddle tighter. Now the purple-eyed girl was practically chasing her. 

Their little race would probably have lasted a little longer had Alyssa not slowed down. Ashara had missed it because she was coming from further behind, but the road was getting narrower here, and the green-eyed girl started to go more slowly, on the edge of the road, inviting Ashara to join her. 

“I see you're not taking any chances,” Dayne said as she lined up.

“I doubt the ones in front of us will make it out alive, someone's going to have to carry the news.”

Ashara laughed, the mischievous look on Alyssa Rivers' face fuelling her laughter even more.

She had to admit that the girl in front of her now was quite different from the one who was always holding Prince Viserys' hand and following the queen around. So this was the girl Arthur was familiar with and praised. 

“You seem to know them well.”

(Alyssa realised that the excitement in the black-haired girl's voice was decreasing and the smile was fading. She leaned over and patted Meleys on the head before answering her, lest she say the wrong thing and cause more discomfort).

“Rhaegar is my brother, and because of him I grew up with Jon and Arthur, but I can't say I know the other two like him.”

Ashara thought she might be mistaken, but she felt the girl was giving her a chance to open up. 

“My brother and I haven't been together for so long that I feel like I'm getting to know a new person again.”

“You have a long time to reconcile.’ Alyssa turned to her with a smile. “At the end of the day, he's your brother, no distance can break the bond between you.”

The young girl's smile warmed Ashara's heart. 

(Alyssa could understand the feelings of the girl in front of her. The feeling of not belonging, of incompleteness had never been foreign to her. But perhaps she could help someone else not feel that way.)

“Seeing you and Rhaegar, it is understandable that you would believe that.”

Ashara was now looking at dark hair gathered in a thick braid as the dark-haired girl turned around again. White flowers were tucked into the braid that hung loose over the fur embroidered on the lapels of the cloak thrown over the brown-toned dress. 

“Rhaegar is my brother, my family, my best friend. We grew up together, but he raised me too.” When she turned back to Ashara, the sparkle in her green eyes was different. “My affection for him goes beyond being siblings.”

“He obviously cares for you in a similar way. He talked about you all the time back in Dragonstone.”

"Arthur talked about you a lot during his years here. He watched for letters from you and opened them as they arrived." 

Ashara's smile grew wider at what she heard. She felt that Alyssa understood her, and coming from someone who had been by Arthur's side during the years he had been away, it was more than enough to assuage any doubts in her heart.

“I'm sure you'll make new memories in Dragonstone,’ the green-eyed girl added.”

“I do not think I will be able to do anything in Dragonstone,” Ashara said dramatically as she dropped her shoulders. “I'll never get used to that cold.”

Alyssa's giggling was music to her ears.

"The cold never bothered me there. Maybe it's a habit, though."

“You were born there, weren't you?”

“Yes.” The three men ahead of them had slowed as they neared the end of the path, and Ashara looked up to see Rhaegar looking over his shoulder at them both. Even from a distance, the prince's eyes revealed themselves as two gems. Alyssa must have noticed as well, for she waved to those in front as she continued to speak. "There are many places to explore on that island. When Rhaegar and I were little, we found a cave near the seashore, and we were all wrinkled from swimming all day in the pool inside." 

It was clear from the way she spoke how precious her memories of that dark island were to her and how much she missed those times. As Ashara turned her gaze back to her brother, she wondered if they would both be able to make such memories on that island in the future.

She would have loved that.

“You should come visit one day and show me the hidden beauties of Dragonstone.”

Alyssa Rivers returned with a smile that lit up her entire face. Ashara saw sincerity in the brunette's green eyes.

“I would like that very much.”

Jaime

Jaime Lannister believed that the queen was beginning to give him special treatment.

Rhaella Targaryen was softened by the presence of her grandchild, or the increase of guards in the castle gave her a particular confidence, because she left Jaime Lannister as free as possible or sent him away. The young knight was yielding to the queen's wishes, even if they were the opposite of what he wanted at a time when he was trying to escape his thoughts. 

Today, before Jaime could say anything, she sent him to the garden to see his sister off. That was why Jaime Lannister, in his white armour, was moving slowly towards the carriage that would take Cersei on her journey to Casterly Rock. 

They hadn't spoken again after their fight with his twin, Jaime had made sure that wouldn't happen. Right in that moment, he was hoping that his armor was strong enough, so that Cersei’s claw could not reach him.

Cersei was standing in front of the carriage with her ladies while the servants were placing the last chest. The other girls were chattering away as Jaime's twin looked around with her usual insincere smile on her lips, as if to show she was bored. 

Until her gaze found the young Kingsguard. 

The other girls crowded into the carriage as Jaime approached her. Cersei wore a dark green cloak that seemed too heavy, and a net of emeralds that gathered her golden hair, making her look older than a young girl not yet eight and ten. But the look on her face was not hers, the look Cersei had seen from their father and tried to imitate was enough to remind Jaime of his twin's childish behaviour and the self-centredness and spoiltness that had made them the way they were.

Although she snorted at her twin when he stood in front of her, Cersei Lannister held out her hand, and Jaime, being a dutiful knight, took off his glove and placed a kiss on his sister's knuckles.

“I thought you wished nothing less than to see me or talk to me.”

She was clearly exaggerating Jaime's words, but this was Cersei. Of course she was going to act like this.

"No matter what happens, you are my sister, Cersei, my twin. You couldn't have thought I wouldn't come to see you off."

He might not have come if the queen hadn't sent him. Jaime truly did not want to see her or hear her voice.

(He could have been using these moments to find Alyssa. Even though he had been watching her for days to give the young girl back her ribbon, to tell her that she was the lucky charm, he had never caught Alyssa Rivers alone for a moment. When he heard that she was spending the morning with Rhaegar Targaryen, his blood began to boil; fortunately, the Silver Prince's days at the Red Keep were numbered.)

"So you have come to your senses?"

Jaime Lannister was getting annoyed again at the sight of Cersei raising one eyebrow and glaring at him, but he just rolled his eyes and put his glove back on. 

(He didn't want his father to be informed of any wrong behaviour.)

"Give my best to our father and Tyrion when you return. And please, try not to be rude to our brother."

"You show more mercy to that dwarf than you do to me."

(Cersei was never good at outward displays of emotion. Her words were meant to express her resentment, she longed for the care and affection of her twin, her other half. During many moons they were apart, and all that time she had longed for the security she felt when Jaime was with her.

But the words that spilled from her lips were like poison. As much as she didn't want to, her voice always had the cruel timbre of Tywin Lannister.

Perhaps being his daughter was Cersei Lannister's greatest sin.)

"I wish you a safe journey, Cersei."

Pretending not to hear the insult to Tyrion, Jaime bowed to his sister one last time and turned away. 

There was another pair of green eyes he was looking for in the Red Keep.

Alyssa

By the time they reached the meadow where a stream flowed gently, the small group had come to a complete halt, but Alyssa did not dismount from Meleys' back.

As the white mare bowed her neck softly, the young girl revelled in the beauty of her surroundings. Colourful flowers were emerging from the greenery, heralding spring. Alyssa was back among her family and loved ones, and her heart was truly blooming like this meadow, too. 

"If I am not interrupting your thoughts, my love," Rhaegar Targaryen's voice said, and Alyssa Rivers' gaze shifted to her brother, whom she had not even realised was standing beside her, "may I help you?"

A smile curved Alyssa's lips as she crossed one leg over the other side of the saddle and reached for the Silver Prince's outstretched arms. Seizing the opportunity, Rhaegar grasped the young girl around the waist and pulled her off her horse. When her boots met the green grass, he did not let go of his sister, on the contrary, he brought her closer to him and placed a kiss on her dishevelled hair. Alyssa's response was to settle deeper into her brother's arms. It was their last day together before they left for Dragonstone and she did not want to waste a moment of it. 

"The gown suits you very well," Rhaegar said, his lilac eyes taking in the brown dress. 

"As every gown you've ever commissioned.”

"And there's more to come. Elia thinks Dornish style will suit you so well, she will plan the gifts for your next name day."

Alyssa's heart warmed at the Princess's thoughtfulness. How fortunate that her brother had found such a kind-hearted soul for a wife. 

"You and the queen spoil me enough, there is no need to tire the Princess."

"On the contrary, even more people should spoil you, byka mandia," the heir to the Iron Throne said as he put Alyssa on his arm and started walking towards his friends, "you deserve the best of everything."

Alyssa rested her head on her brother's arm as heat flooded her cheeks. She was torn between being grateful that Rhaegar was with her now and sad that they would be separated again. She was getting used to the security and peace she felt around her brother again.

But it would not last much longer.

"I see your conversation with Lady Ashara has taken off," Rhaegar continued. A little further away, Arthur Dayne and his sister were crouched on the ground chatting while Jon patted his own horse.

"She is very gracious and enjoyable."

"Someone else to keep you company in Dragonstone."

Alyssa Rivers stopped and stepped back as the words left the prince's mouth. Her lips parted, but it took her a moment to respond.

"I beg your pardon?"

"As my mother has approved," Rhaegar grasped Alyssa's hands again and brought them both to his lips, "you will return with us to Dragonstone. I know how much you miss it, and how much it weighs on your heart."

"Rhaegar, I-" Alyssa's heart skipped a beat as her brother kissed her hands. The thought of returning to Dragonstone, to Rhaegar and Arthur, was too tempting. To spend her days in peace, away from Aerys Targaryen, Lord Varys and his little birds.

But it also meant leaving the queen and Viserys behind. 

(And though she couldn't admit it even to herself, in the back of her mind, a golden lion with an orange ribbon around his belt, fighting in battle, loomed in the back of her mind as she thought of what she would leave behind.)

"Rhaegar, I cannot do this. I cannot leave King's Landing."

"I can't leave you here alone either, Alyssa. The thought of leaving you weighs heavily on my heart, especially now that I know what you must face."

"What about the queen? Viserys? How am I supposed to leave them behind?"

(It was the first time Rhaegar Targaryen had ever seen such determination in the green eyes of the young girl standing before him. Alyssa continued to hold his hands tightly, but her brow furrowed and the blush of embarrassment faded from her cheeks.

"Viserys is just a little boy-"

"That is precisely why I cannot leave him, Rhaegar. I can see the state of his wretched father, his mother growing weaker by the day-"

Although Rhaegar's heart ached at the reminder of his mother's condition, he opened his mouth to interrupt his sister, but Alyssa was too stubborn to allow it.

"He needs someone he can trust to be around him as he grows up. And if it can't be his brother, it will be his sister."

"I'll take you both then, I can't bear not being there when you need me."

"You are needed in Dragonstone," Rhaegar couldn't resist leaning into the brunette's palm as Alyssa stepped closer and cupped his cheek in her hand. He was powerless against Alyssa, he had never been able to resist her wishes, "and I am needed here. Let me lighten your load, let me take care of this place until your time comes."

"What if I need you?" said the prince in a whisper.

"Then just say the word. If you really need me, I will come without a moment's hesitation. But right now we know who needs me more.")

Alyssa smiled again as Rhaegar Targaryen cupped the hand on his cheek and placed a kiss on her palm. The way her brother softened against her made her feel special in a way she couldn't explain. It was one of the feelings she longed for.

Just like Arthur Dayne's playful voice.

"Aly! I need your help immediately!"

At her friend's call, the young girl slipped out of Rhaegar's arms and changed direction. As she approached, the knight pulled her by the arm and sat her down on the grass, and as Alyssa burst into laughter, he threw one arm over her shoulder, holding a flower with yellow petals in the other. 

"Can you make me a crown with these?"

"When?"

"Now, of course! I want to wear it on the way back."

"Do you know how long it takes to make those crowns?" she said as she leaned against Arthur's chest and picked up the flower. "Pick as many as you can, and I'll make as many as you want when we get back to the palace."

"What about this flower?" Ashara Dayne tossed back her black hair and pointed to the dandelion in her hand. The white buds, resembling a feather, swayed delicately in the wind.

"I can't make a crown out of it, but if you make a wish and blow on it and the petals fly, your wish will come true."

Ashara's violet eyes widened at this knowledge, and Arthur reached towards his sister and snatched the flower from her hand. "Then I wish for Rhaegar to sing a song," he said, and blew on the dandelion amidst the fidgeting of the two young girls.

Rhaegar and Jon crouched beside them as the three of them frolicked on the floor. Both had a comparatively mature and calm expression on their faces, but Alyssa did not miss the tenderness in Jon's blue eyes.

"I don't have any instruments with me, Dayne."

"Your voice is worth any instrument, my prince," Kingsguard said as he removed his arm from Alyssa's shoulder and lay down on the ground. Although his dark hair stood out in the green of the grass, Alyssa couldn't help but admire her friend's beautiful face. And Arthur Dayne was right in his words. No instrument could compete with the voice of the Silver Prince.

“High in the halls of the kings who are gone
Jenny would dance with her ghosts”

Alyssa started the song to encourage her brother. She knew that Rhaegar could not stop a song once begun.

The prince continued, though he squinted his lilac eyes with an expression that showed he understood her ruse.

“The ones she had lost and the ones she had found
And the ones who had loved her the most”

As Rhaegar's voice grew higher, Alyssa's eyes began to fill and her heart began to race. The Silver Prince's voice had that effect.

And with that beautiful smile directed at her, it was impossible not to sing along.

“The ones who'd been gone for so very long
She couldn't remember their names
They spun her around on the damp old stones
Spun away all her sorrow and pain”

Whilst they sang together, Arthu Dayne sat up again, and Jon Connington turned his tearful eyes to Rhaegar Targaryen.

“And she never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave
Never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave”

The four of them sang the last verse in unison, and Alyssa plead to Seven to never break the unison of their voices.

Chapter Text

Rhaella

After the return of Rhaegar Targaryen and his family to Dragonstone, peaceful days continued at the Red Keep. Rhaella Targaryen, sipping wine in the garden, was the foremost testament to this serenity.

Seeing her son, the future of the Realm again, had definitely restored her strength. And then there was Aerys' calmness in recent days, which gave the queen freedom within the keep.

(Aerys Targaryen had not left his chambers since his son's departure, but the queen had given strict instructions to the servants to make sure the king was kept clean and fed. She was not going to let her brother get that far again.)

A new rhythm had begun for the queen, who had regained her strength and, most importantly, her cheerfulness. Viserys attended his lessons every day, Alyssa watched over him, and Rhaella found time to look after the court. Her new ladies, Malora Hightower and Minisa Whent, soon settled into court life. Minisa in particular was a lively young woman, eager to show the queen a new skilful craft every day. 

Even though Rhaella thought of the girl as a suitable friend for Alyssa , the Rivers girl had been following Viserys Targaryen ever since her brother had left. While the lessons were taking place in the library, she had a book in front of her, quietly watching the little prince, warning him when he started to get distracted or tried to run away. The boy, who did not listen to the Maesters, to whom he was a stranger, would fall silent again with a glance from Alyssa. But his sister wanted to please him at the end of the day, so as soon as the lessons were over, she would take Viserys by the hand and lead him wherever he wanted to go. Sometimes it was the pavilion in the garden, where the queen now spent more time, or the training grounds of the Kingsguard and Goldcloaks. Of course, the prince had not yet been given more than wooden swords, but it was clear that he was looking forward to his own training. 

But today, as she waited for her son to finish his lessons and come to her, the queen did not sit alone with her ladies as she was accustomed to do. No, today she was accompanied by Lord Varys with his silky voice and elegant smile. The eunuch, arms crossed in his satin robes, only holding out his hands when he wanted a sip of wine, had been making small talk with the queen since his arrival. 

(Rhaella could feel her impatience returning, along with her energy, and Varys' inability to keep his mouth shut was starting to get on her nerves.)

“Your new ladies are the most charming, Your Majesty.”

“Most certainly. They were chosen by none other than my son.”

“How lucky you are to have such a fine young prince as a son.”

Was he playing on Rhaella's motherhood to gain her favour? It was the most ancient ploy known to man, one that even her own mother had warned her about years before:

One day, when you have your own children, the whole world will know your weakest point and try to use them to control you.

"I reap what I sow, Lord Varys, after all, I raised him."

"Then how lucky we are that you raised our next king."

The queen did not react until she had taken a sip, though she gripped the goblet more tightly to her lips. When the golden goblet met the table again, she turned her eyes to the eunuch. 

"Seven forbid, my lord, my son's coronation is years away, and our king's health is gradually on the mend, thankfully."

"Of course, of course," Varys leaned back and rubbed his soft hands together. The scent of rosewater that gave Rhaella a headache faded with his retreat. "But it is comforting to know that your heir has grown up learning the right values."

Rhaella straightened her back and raised her head before answering. She didn't sense any danger from Varys, but at the end of the day, he had come at Aerys' behest and was one of the few people who still had the freedom to enter the king's chambers.

(Be that as it may, Rhaella, as queen, was somehow aware of what was going on in the Red Keep.) 

"My son began to fuss about his duties as heir when he was only a boy, Lord Varys," she finally began. She wanted to play with the rings on her fingers, but restrained herself, behaviour unbecoming of her performance. "He was worried about how many titles his father had and how he would learn each one. Do you know how I soothed him?"

The Spider stretched his thin lips into a smile as he looked at Rhaella. He was interested, it was obvious by the glint in his eyes. 

"I told him that only one of his titles mattered, only one of them was truly his duty: Protector of the Realm. Because to be king, to rule the Seven Kingdoms, is to protect them. When our ancestor, Aegon the Conqueror, united the kingdoms, it was not for power, it was to end the wars and bring peace to the Realm. He built that throne by melting swords, for the time of war was over. A king must sit on the throne with that in mind."

Varys gave a slow clap before he spoke. "I bow before you, my queen. You could not have said it better."

“My mother raised me to be a queen, as did her mother. It is our duty as the queens and mothers of the Realm.”

"I admire your sense of duty as the mother of two heirs."

"One, Lord Varys, one heir."

"Prince Viserys?"

"Prince Viserys is my son. Prince Rhaegar and his line are the heirs now."

"Even his daughter?"

So that was all the curious spider cared about

"Do you know which of my ancestors I’m most fond of, Lord Varys?" said Rhaella with a smile. She motioned for Malora Hightower to refill her goblet and kept her gaze on Varys until she had her drink in her hand. “Alysanne the Good. Such an extraordinary Targaryen. Blond hair, not silver. Blue eyes, not lilac. Yet still, she was the very image of a Targaryen queen. Perhaps the Seven knew how much I adored her, they gave me an heir as kind as hers, as well as a grandchild with the same name.”

“Rhaenys, the Queen Who Never Was? Is that the fate you wish upon your granddaughter?”

“Rhaenys Targaryen was a true Targaryen my lord, a fair ruler beside her husband and a fierce warrior who fought for the unity of the Realm. I would be proud to have such a granddaughter.”

(Varys revelled in the determination in the queen's eyes. She was a true Targaryen at heart, Rhaella Targaryen, a true monarch.)

"Then, my queen," Varys rose to his feet and bowed, "we will pray that the little princess will grow up to live up to her name."

Alone with her ladies, the queen's fingers were busy twirling her rings.

Jaime 

Jaime Lannister had not spent time in the common room of the White Sword Tower for a long time. 

In the early days of his arrival at the Red Keep, either in his chambers or in pursuit of the queen, he had not felt any sense of belonging to the tower. But since the festivities for Princess Rhaenys had ended and the Red Keep had been returned to its rightful owners, he had begun to spend his time here when he was freed. King Aerys' decision to retire to his chambers and leave the decisions to the Hand also helped the Kingsguard to breathe a little. Although Ser Gerold and Ser Jonothor still spent most of their days guarding the king's chambers, Ser Barristan and Jaime's burden was reduced. Especially now that the young prince spent his days in the library attending his lessons, there was no need to worry about his whereabouts at all hours.

(Prince Viserys' studies also occupied a certain young girl, so Jaime didn't know how she felt about it.)

It was for this reason that Jaime Lannister and Barristan Selmy were enjoying a carafe of wine with Ser Oswell Whent in the common room of the White Sword Tower during the hours when the royal family retired to their chambers.

"Do not stray too far from that training ground, boy, it will be the only thing in this keep that will keep you sane." said Ser Oswell as he refilled his goblet. Jaime slumped into a chair while the older Kingsguard continued to stand by the fireplace with his goblet in his hand. They were always tending the fire as the spring weather that lasted during the day gave way to cold breezes at night. 

"Is that the only thing that keeps you sane, Oswell?" said Ser Barristan from his seat. His brother in arm laughed and took a sip of his wine. 

"We're still young men Selmy, even you can't deny that!"

Jaime involuntarily raised his head at the knight's reply. His gaze gave away his confusion as Oswell Whent winked one of his dark eyes at him, "I feel like I'm getting clumsy every day I don't have my sword drawn, am I right Lannister? Shouldn't we, as young men, somehow release the energy of the wild blood coursing through our veins?"

(The only time Jaime Lannister could remember 'wild blood' was the night he saw Alyssa Rivers dancing with lords whose names he did not even know at that banquet. As she danced, tossing her pearl-studded hair, her green eyes never once turned to Jaime. No, her attention was only on the poor wretches who didn't deserve her- )

"You made the boy blush!" Barristan Selmy's laughter was joined by the other knight. 

"As Kingsguard, I only do as my duties require, sir," Jaime finally replied. As the laughter of the two men died down, he drained his goblet and set it on the table. He ran his free hand through his hair whilst Ser Oswell approached him with slow steps. The knight, who was expected to look scary with his long black hair and large body in the light of the fireplace flame, had a kind expression on his face that stunned Jaime.

"Young man, how old are you?" he said as he handed Jaime the full goblet again. 

“Seven and ten. Soon to be eight and ten.”

(Barristan Selmy covered his hand over his mouth so as not to laugh at the young lion's answer. It was the immaturity of youth, this effort to show himself great. However, he did not realise how precious these times were.)

"You are at the very beginning of your life. You can't go on as a Kingsguard who is only committed to his duty."

Jaime could not help being surprised by the answer, maybe that's why he reacted without thinking.

"Ser Arthur Dayne does."

"Arthur Dayne," this time it was Barristan Selmy who answered, Jaime turned to him as he heard the knight's voice " is bound to Prince Rhaegar and his friendship to him. It is his mission to protect the prince he grew up with, not to follow an oath."

"Oaths are just words, Ser Jaime," Oswell Whent continued, "under that white cloak we are all human beings. Every day we need something to wake up to, something we must depend on to carry out our duty."

"But isn't being a Kingsguard about leaving all that behind? To devote all we are to the king and his family, to choose honour over all earthly pleasures."

"What is pleasure?" Ser Oswell collapsed next to his friend on the cushion, one arm dangling over the edge, the other lifting his goblet "Do you think pleasure is just a glass of wine you drink, or making eye contact with a girl?"

Green eyes framed by long eyelashes; green eyes that Jaime filled with tears with his cruel words, but still met with him in the melee....

"You cannot live without the pleasure of life, lad. One who has a purpose to live, to wake up every day, can taste pleasure. Because that purpose, that commitment, saves us from an endless routine. All you have to do to be a Kingsguard is to protect your king, his family and his name with honour, but I doubt that duty alone will be enough for even the most dedicated knight who has ever lived." 

"We're not saying you should not value your oaths, Ser Jaime," the other Kingsguard took over, "only that you should have something that binds you to life. Continue to wear that white cloak with honour, protect your integrity, but have an anchor to keep you alive. Realise that life goes on outside the walls of the Red Keep while we are here protecting our king."

An anchor... No, a purpose.

Jaime once had a purpose: to follow in his father's footsteps and become a great knight and one day Lord of Casterly Rock, Warden of the West. 

When his mother died and his family was completely separated, he spent his days at least trying to keep his siblings together.

"Cersei hates me," Jaime’s little brother said from where he sat beside him. He had found Tyrion crouched at the bottom of Casterly Rock's stairs, trembling. He was all but four, though he had a glimmer of intelligence that Jaime never had. He was silent for minutes when his brother came and sat beside him, only when when Jaime finally put his hand on his shoulder, he turned his mismatched eyes to him.

Jaime Lannister was alone with his brother for the first time.

"She blames me for mother's death. And she is right." 

"No." Jaime couldn't object to the first statement, Cersei intended to declare her hatred for her younger sibling to the whole world. But Tyrion was only an innocent boy, of that Jaime had always been sure. “You are not at fault. No one is. Mother is- she is simply gone.” 

Joanna Lannister's longing had fallen like a nightmare over the entire family, but Jaime realised that they had neglected to protect their youngest member while everyone else was buried in their own grief. Tyrion was missing someone he did not even know, and how great the pain must have been! 

“But you are not. Gone, I mean. You are here with us and I’m glad for it. I’m glad to have a brother.” 

Eventually, Cersei became the centre of his life. All the paths he followed led to his twin, until his other half abandoned him here. 

Jaime Lannister wore the title of Kingsguard with honour, but deep down, following the path Cersei had pushed him down felt truly... aimless. 

Yet as he pondered his last moons, Jaime felt his attention drifting to a new purpose without realising it.

Jaime did not know when it became a habit, but he knew he started to watch Alyssa while she was not looking. She was not Cersei, no one could match his twin’s beauty. But Alyssa had something about her that made Jaime unable to look away. Her green eyes, unlike Cersei’s, reminded him of the sea with the way they had blue tones hidden in them. Sometimes they would shine in a certain way and Jaime would think they were little gemstones. She wasn’t lean like the other ladies of the court, even though her cheeks lost the childish puffiness in the last year, her face was still soft. Her dimples would show when she smiled with showing all her teeth, which was so often. She was walking around with a smile on her lips most of time, reserved for Prince Viserys. Her hair, unusually dark for a southern lady always fell down to her waist with some pieces tucked away from her face. She prefers to stick flowers in little braids, but now they were adorned with pearls. Jaime liked how they shined in her dark curls, but he preferred the colourful flowers. They suited her more, and even he would never admit to her face, Jaime liked to watch her eyes brighten as she walked in the gardens with the queen and chose the best flowers. 

It was thanks to the girl who owned the orange ribbon still in his room - the same colour as the lilies he had picked from the garden months ago. Jaime felt that he and Alyssa Rivers had shared similar fates, that Alyssa Rivers understood his trappedness.

Alyssa Rivers understood Jaime. She saw Jaime's incompleteness, his immaturity when she fixed those green eyes on him.

But she was still kind, she had still supported him in the melee with her gaze. 

(Jaime wanted to believe that she did.)

Alyssa 

The night breeze was the only thing that gave peace to the young girl sitting by the window. Awakened again by nightmares, she left her bed. She hugged her knees on the window sill, her hair flying and her body shivering, but the cold calmed her.

She had had vivid dreams since she was a little girl, but never had her heart felt so heavy.

Had she gone mad? The voices she heard in Rhaegar's chambers, the sights in front of Balerion's skull...

Or maybe her mind was playing tricks on her. She had been trapped within the walls of the Red Keep for far too long. It should have been easier to go back to a time she was familiar with in the books. Perhaps this time she should not have given up the freedom she had regained with the company of Rhaegar and Arthur.

Her thoughts were completely dispersed by the sound coming from the door. Who could have come in the dead of night? Viserys had been exhausted during the day, and Alyssa was sure the little prince would sleep through the night. Had the queen had a request? 

When she opened the door, standing in front of her was none other than Jaime Lannister.

The young knight had a puzzled look on his face, as if he could not believe that Alyssa had opened the door. However, he couldn't have been more surprised than the young girl. The last thing she expected was to see Jaime Lannister standing in her doorway without his Kingsguard armour, hair dishevelled, cheeks flushed- presumably from a few too many drinks.

(Jaime himself had no idea what he was doing as he stood in the doorway. All thoughts left his mind as he met the wide eyes of Alyssa Rivers. 

The young girl's dark hair framed her face, some strands spilling over the open neckline of her white nightgown. Perhaps for the first time, her beautiful neck was deprived of a medallion, a gift from a certain prince.

When his gaze returned to Alyssa's face, he realised the uncomfortable silence. Indeed, why had he come?)

"Ser Jaime?" said Alyssa, finally gathering her courage. Even though the young man kept his mouth shut, she could feel those green eyes hovering over her. Were they judging her again? 

Or were they harbouring different feelings like the gaze Alyssa had met in the melee?

Startled by the sound of voices coming from the back of the corridor, Alyssa stepped back, her room was not frequented by servants, it had to be the ones who were taking advantage of the darkness of the night. Jaime Lannister followed her step as she backed away, he was inside her room before she realised what was happening. 

(He felt hazy, he must have had too much wine. Why was he following her? Why couldn't he tolerate Alyssa taking even one step away? 

Focus

The ribbon, yes, he had come to return the ribbon he had in his pocket.)

"I just..." Alyssa stood similarly unmoving as Jaime Lannister continued trying to speak in front of the open door. "I wanted to return this." 

In the young knight's outstretched palm was Alyssa's orange ribbon. Was Jaime Lannister admitting that he had stolen it? Had he truly worn it for Alyssa to see at the melee? 

(Alyssa Rivers was just looking at the ribbon with her eyes wide open. Jaime was starting to regret his decision to come here. Did she not want to talk to him? 

Why would she? Jaime had made her cry, stolen her ribbon. Now he was standing in front of her without an explanation. 

He was looking at Alyssa's face to see what she was thinking, but those green eyes were not turned towards him. They were focussed on his hand that had been in the air for seconds, a few strands of hair falling in front of her face as she tilted her head slightly. It would be so easy to brush them back, to grasp her face-)

Alyssa did not know how long she had been silent, but when she finally looked up she realised that Jaime Lannister was much closer than she had thought. The young man was staring intently into her eyes. For the first time in the moonlight reflecting through the window, she realised for the first time how much his eyes... 

Seven guide her

"It belongs to you, does it not?"

"Yes." 

Alyssa could feel her cheeks turning pink, but she didn't know what to do, what to say. Was Jaime going to leave the moment she took her ribbon? 

Did Alyssa want him to go?

She approached the Lannister and reached for the piece of cloth in his hand, but the Kingsguard didn't give her the chance to pull her hand back. 

"I-" 

(Jaime was the greatest idiot in the world. Imbecile, mindless. He was not aware that he wanted to hold Alyssa's hand until it touched his. But now he did not wish to let go of those slender fingers. )

"Actually... I came to apologise."

“To me?”

What was Alyssa saying! But it was impossible, she couldn't take her gaze away from Jaime Lannister's eyes, she could not focus on anything as the young knight held her hand. 

"What I said to you on the night of the feast was completely unfair. They were words spoken on the spur of the moment, none of them reflecting what I think of you."

Alyssa remembered what had happened that night, and the memory of the tears she had shed was enough to shatter her momentary confusion. 

“Then why would you act like that? You watched me all night and I felt- no, I knew you judged me.” 

“I was unfair. I thought-“ 

(How could Jaime explain himself? How could he explain that it drove him mad that Alyssa was smiling at everyone but him, dancing with lords who were not worthy to even touch a hair on her head?)

“I do not know why, but I know that was wrong.”

With every word that came out of Jaime Lannister's mouth, Alyssa was caught between her resentment and her beating heart. 

“You were cruel. I thought you despised me.”

"You cannot think that, I have never-" Jaime's free hand moved back through her curls and cupped her cheek "I could never despise you. That night- After that night I was in pain. I could not bear to be the cause of your tears." 

Alyssa's ears were buzzing. As much as she tried to convince herself that she wanted to run away, that she had no desire to feel Jaime's breath on her face, it was a lie.

Alyssa Rivers did not wish to be anywhere else.

"Do you forgive me?" the golden lion pleaded. Alyssa's gaze flitted back and forth between his golden hair falling in his face, his green eyes, and his parted lips.

Jaime Lannister was begging for her forgiveness.

"I do." she finally managed to say with a dry throat. She was forgetting to breathe, let alone move. But nothing mattered. The only thing that mattered was Jaime Lannister and his touch. “I was unkind to, that night. I apologize too.”

( She was, wasn't she? He didn't remember what she had said, Jaime was not thinking about anything right now. He could only focus on Alyssa's eyes. And her lips. Pink lips that he could touch with his own in a single move. 

He was the one who had come to apologise and now she was standing in front of him apologising to him. This girl was driving Jaime fucking crazy.)

He kept being silent, but still caressed her cheek with his thumb. Alyssa felt her eyelids grow heavy. Was he trying to drive her crazy? 

"Why did you take it? My ribbon."

Speaking again - even if it took an enormous effort to keep her voice from trembling - was the only thought Alyssa could think of.

"I wanted your favour for the melee, but I could not find you anywhere."

(Why was he telling her that? Since when had Jaime been so honest?)

“So you just- claimed it as your own? Başkasına vermek isteseydim?”

“Would you?” 

No

No, Alyssa wouldn't, couldn't, give her favour to anyone but him. 

(Jaime moved a little closer, not letting go of her hand or her cheek. He was afraid to want for more.

An anchor, Ser Oswell said.

What if Jaime wanted more? Did his vow prevent him from desiring someone?

What if-)

Her gaze travelled for a moment to the open door, silent though it was, the perpetrators of that laughter might appear in the corridor at any moment. But neither of them were pulling back, and if Alyssa had to be honest, she lacked the strength to move away. On the contrary, she wanted more, she wanted Jaime closer.

But before she could turn her gaze back to him, the young man's arms wrapped around her. Jaime Lannister's head was buried in her shoulder as a hand gripped her waist. "Alyssa..." she heard him say in a whisper. Her arms wrapped around the knight's neck unconsciously. Could he hear how her heart was beating? Or-

Oh

All her thoughts were interrupted by the lips she felt on her jaw. The young man was smothering her cheeks in small kisses and moving his way to her neck. Alyssa never wanted him to stop. The warmth spreading through her body brought with it a hunger, destroying all her reasoning. 

"Jaime..." she said in a similar whisper, unable to do anything but hold on to him. One hand found that golden hair and when Jaime Lannister raised his head again, Alyssa thought she would finally meet those lips. 

But as the voices rose again from the corridor, the young knight bolted away, taking the heat with him. In the blink of an eye he was by the door, trying to escape. Alyssa felt cold as she looked at his dishevelled hair -she couldn't deny that she felt a little satisfaction- and his rosy cheeks. 

“I shall leave- so you can rest.”

“Rest?”

“Yes, good night.”

“Good night Jaime.”