Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The first day on a new job will always be the most nerve-wracking one, and today is no exception for Jeongguk. Five outfits lay on the bed before him, all fully black, waiting to be picked for the special occasion. It is such a simple task that not many people pay that much attention to, but Jeongguk is set on making a good first impression, especially when he is about to meet the Kim Taehyung. 

Face of an angel, voice deeper than the sea, Kim Taehyung is none other than the idol who is loved and cherished by thousands and thousands. He isn’t just anybody, and as an art lover, Jeongguk looks up to him. His albums have a variety of genres, although he seems to fancy blues and jazz the most which suits his voice in a striking, and pleasing way. It is undeniable that he is talented, as much as he is hardworking, and saying that Jeongguk doesn’t admire the amount of time, energy, and dedication poured into those works would be a complete lie. It is then only natural that Jeongguk would feel the pressure more intensely now that he is about to meet him. After all, he is meeting a celebrity. 

The reality that Jeongguk got accepted into the position of bodyguard only sinks in when he finally arrives at Kim Taehyung’s company’s building. 

It is nine in the morning, the beautiful blue veil above him is cleared, and the sun gently warms his skin. A smile pulls the corners of his lips up. Jeongguk has never been this excited in years. 

“Good morning,” it’s the man, in a fully black suit waiting by the main entrance, greeting Jeongguk as soon as he walks up to him, “Jeon Jeongguk, I presume?” He glances at the badge Jeongguk is wearing, squints to read the name printed on it to make sure he’s got it right. 

“That’s right,” Jeongguk responds with a polite bow before the man indicates the path to take.

“You’re right on time. You may follow me.”

Stepping inside the building, Jeongguk can’t help but feel his stomach tighten with a strange mixture of excitement and worry. It is not like he’s about to enter for another interview—after all, he already got accepted after only one quick interview—but the simple thought of meeting the person face to face is different from seeing them all over the news, all over the city’s screens. 

“Your badge allows you access to all the floors, and rooms that are restricted to guests,” the man explains as they enter the elevator, pressing on the 8th floor button. “Do you have any questions before we meet Mr. Kim?” 

Jeongguk presses his lips together into a thin line, pondering over the hundred questions that had previously run through his mind. Now, however, nothing comes. Nothing, other than a silly, “Is he nice?” 

A pregnant pause.

Jeongguk turns his head towards the man, blinking curiously at the lack of response. He debates over laughing nervously to break the sudden tension built between them or ask another, less idiotic question. 

He does none of those.

“We are here to protect and guide Kim Taehyung-ssi throughout his career, not build a relationship with him.” The words fall like sharp knives over Jeongguk’s shoulders the same time the elevator stops, and the doors open. 

Before he steps out, Jeongguk’s lips part with the burning desire to ask why the hell was that for, but he decides to keep his mouth shut, smile faintly, and nod vigorously. It's his first day, he shouldn't call attention to himself already. “Understood.”

The knot previously in his stomach jumps to his throat as they walk through the corridor, towards the door that is semi-open. He doesn’t quite know why, but as he gets closer, that feeling only grows stronger. With each and every step. Until,

“Mr. Kim?” the man knocks twice on the door before he opens it fully and gestures inside for Jeongguk to enter, “Jeon Jeongguk is here.”

“Who?” a voice comes from the other side of the door before Jeongguk can step foot inside, surprising him a little, “I didn’t know I had a schedule or a meeting today.”

Jeongguk clears his throat at that, forcing a faint smile as he walks inside the room. He expects the man that guided him to introduce him once again, to remind Kim Taehyung that today was supposed to be Jeongguk’s first day—to say anything, but Jeongguk certainly doesn’t expect him to leave after a silent, polite bow. Swallowing thickly, Jeongguk’s eyes hesitantly travel up to meet Taehyung’s gaze, the contact immediately urging him to bow almost at ninety degrees, as if pulled by an invisible force. By Kim Taehyung’s aura.“Jeon Jeongguk,” he tells with a fake-confidence, “I’m your new bodyguard.”

“My what? ” Taehyung’s eyes open wide at the word, and it’s said with such venom that Jeongguk almost steps back. “I’m sorry, there must be a mistake here. I don’t need a new bodyguard. Who told you to come?” And he reaches out for his phone, not even glancing at Jeongguk again before he presses his phone to his ear. “Hey, yeah, there’s a dude in a suit in my office saying he’s my new bodyguard,” he sounds angry. “I fucking told you I didn’t need another buff, suited guy following me around! I don’t—” he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Fine, but don’t expect me to be happy with this.” He hangs up after that and Jeongguk feels how Taehyung’s brown eyes almost see right through him from the intensity behind it. “Sorry. Jeon, was it?” 

Jeongguk tugs the hem of his suit in an attempt to regain his composure, trying not to let Taehyung’s reaction get to him. He holds Taehyung’s gaze the moment their eyes meet again, and, with a quick nod and a faint, friendly smile, he confirms, “Yes, sir. Should I have come—” he pauses for a bit, only to finish with a tentative, “—later?” 

“You shouldn’t have come at all, actually,” he laughs bitterly. “But since you’re here, I guess I can set a few ground rules,” he stands up, probably in an attempt to make himself feel bigger even if he’s definitely not bigger than Jeongguk. They might be around the same height, but Jeongguk feels bigger. “I don’t know what you might’ve heard about me, but I want to make one thing clear: I do not need you. My company might think I do, but I don’t. And I am going to do whatever I want and you can’t tell me otherwise. Are we clear?” 

Well, for a first impression, Taehyung has undoubtedly surpassed Jeongguk’s expectations—not in the best way, however. 

For a moment, Jeongguk only stares, as if he’s carefully observing Taehyung’s face to make sure he truly is the Kim Taehyung he knows. The one who smiles warmly at his fans, wave a gentle goodbye when he leaves, takes the time to pose for photos at interviews. The one whose aura is strong, not overwhelming. Warm, not cold. The habit Jeongguk has to tilt his head to the side in state of confusion hits him. This is not right. A sigh of disbelief escapes his lips, the words tumbling faster than his brain can process them, “The bodyguard whose position I’m taking right now quit a month ago, and during that time a few of your fans caused quite a commotion by running into your personal space at the airport. I would beg to differ,” you need me, is what he would have probably said if those intense eyes digging into his didn’t stop him right in the middle of his sentence. 

“He didn’t quit,” Taehyung corrects him, and there seems to be something else behind his words. “And my fans are just passionate, they’d never hurt me,” he tells him. “But fine, whatever, welcome on board, Jeon. I hope you enjoy the ride.” He sits back on the chair and puts his headphones on again to continue with what he was doing before he arrived. After a few seconds of Jeongguk just standing there, he looks back up. “You can go now.”

Another sigh of disbelief escapes Jeongguk’s lips. He truthfully doesn’t have any other choice than nod and leave, but he does seem to want to remind Taehyung, “I will not make you regret having hired me, rest assured.” He bows despite how Taehyung’s attention is no more on him, turns on his heels, and stops right by the door,“I won’t quit so easily, either.” 

The door closes and Taehyung’s eyes snap up, having heard every word the new bodyguard said.

“We’ll see about that.”

— ✧ —

There are few things in life Taehyung hates more than being told what to do. Even when he was young, his mother used to tell him how hard it was to get him to do what he was supposed to. The problem was, he never wanted to do what he should, and up to this day, he doesn’t. 

The issue is that not doing what he’s told tends to end up in trouble. 

He keeps staring at the program that has been open for about forty-five minutes now, but ever since he was rudely interrupted by one of his managers to introduce the new and unwanted addition to the security team, Taehyung hasn’t been able to focus. 

He told the company that he didn’t need a new bodyguard because they were all the same. And, of course, the new one is the exact prototype that irks Taehyung: tall, built, young, wearing a suit, hair pushed back and sleek, gaze serious and intimidating so that no one dares come near Taehyung. 

Except for them, of course. 

A shiver runs through his spine at the thought of the last bodyguard that this Jeon guy said “quit” a month ago. He didn’t quit. He was fired. Taehyung fired him, even if the company didn’t. It just took a few drastic measures to get him to leave, and maybe that’s why framing it as him quitting was more beneficial for everyone involved. 

And it’s funny that he brought up how some fans invaded his personal space, because at some points, even when he was being stalked down the street or in the airport, he still felt safer than around some of the people that are technically meant to protect him. 

He sighs and shuts the laptop because it’s clear that it’s pointless to keep trying to do something that’s not working. 

After years of working in this industry, he knows better than to force creativity out of himself. It only ends in horrible results, anyway. He gets up and heads to the door, yanking it open and startling the new guy. 

He’ll get used to it. 

“I’m going home,” Taehyung announces, walking past him. He’s not sure if he’s got practice or something scheduled, but he’s sure that this new guy probably doesn’t know his schedule yet, so it doesn’t matter anyway.

Jeongguk is quick to follow him, eyes wide at the confusing decision. “Have you canceled the photoshoot for the new collaboration?” he asks and Taehyung halts in his steps when he hears that. He’s got a tablet in hand—probably from where he got the information about today’s schedule. 

Fuck. Was that today? 

Taehyung decides to chuckle, then. Pretend he’s got everything under control. He’s got practice in doing that. 

“Well done, newbie,” he chants. “Where was the shoot? A studio downtown, right?” he asks. This time, he truly doesn’t know. He’s obviously aware of his new collab, he wrote the lyrics for it months ago, but he forgot that the producer told him that they were going to release it as a single, which meant Taehyung had to be there to take some promotional pics and, if it fits in his schedule, to appear on the music video as well. 

Jeongguk blinks, puzzled. He doesn’t look mad per se, but he doesn’t exactly seem pleased to see that Taehyung either doesn’t care about this photoshoot, or has simply forgotten about it. “No... it’s in Yongsan. At Min Yoongi-nim’s company,” he answers calmly. “Do you want me to postpone it?” 

“No, no, it’s fine. I was just testing you,” Taehyung smiles. “Let’s go, then. It’s a long way until Yongsan and I don’t want to be late.” 

He starts walking again before a word could slip past Jeongguk’s parted lips, and the latter takes a few seconds to start rushing to keep up with him. It’s funny because most of the time, his bodyguards walk before him, but Jeongguk is acting more like a shadow right now than anything else. Probably because he still doesn’t know the company and doesn’t want to get lost. 

“Do you drive? I’m guessing it’s a must for a bodyguard, though, isn’t it?” He asks as they wait for the elevator to arrive so they can go down to the parking lot. 

“I got my motorbike license recently,” Jeongguk comments in a playful tone when he enters the elevator and presses the button. However, when he notices that Taehyung doesn’t give any reaction, he clears his throat and bites the inside of his cheek as he adds instead, “Of course I drive,” only to almost jump out of the elevator the very next second to keep up with Taehyung’s rapid walk—he certainly doesn’t seem used to someone naturally walking like they have a train to catch. 

As they arrive at the car, Jeongguk rushes to open the door for Taehyung and sighs in relief when he does it on time. Taehyung would almost feel bad, but truly, he doesn’t feel a thing other than slight annoyance at the whole situation. 

“Would you like me to inform you of your schedule from now on?” Jeongguk inquires once they’re inside the car. “I can do so every morning.” 

“I’m not a child, I know my schedule,” Taehyung snaps from the back seat. He knows that he forgot today, but it was this guy’s fault for ruining his mood. Otherwise, he would’ve remembered. He’s actually good at keeping up with the schedule, at keeping himself busy so that his brain doesn’t allow for any quiet moments. “No offense, Mr. Bodyguard but, unlike you, I’ve been doing this for a few years now.” 

Part of him tells him that he’s being too mean, too hard on him. And it’s true, he barely knows him, but maybe are all the ghosts that sit with him in the back of the car that push him a bit further, that push him to keep a sharp tongue whenever he talks to Jeongguk. 

“Speaking of… How long have you been doing this? And why did you choose to work for me? Since nobody actually had the decency to ask me or even briefed me about you before you showed up in my office, I guess you could at least fill up the blanks so that I don’t feel like you’re a stranger following me around,” Taehyung asks, and their eyes meet on the review mirror, but he looks away straight away. 

He has kind eyes, and Taehyung absolutely hates them. 

He’s done horrible things for eyes as kind as his. 

“If you’re asking about how long I’ve been in the security field, then that would be three years,” Jeongguk answers after they left the parking lot, eyes now on the road, “but it’s my first time as a celebrity’s bodyguard. And before you say anything,” he adds, and Taehyung sees him stealing a glance through the review mirror for a fraction of a second, “I’ve been training for longer than this. I am not inexperienced. You would have known if you read my resume.”  His voice isn’t exactly cold, nor sharp, but the comment is undoubtedly there to express his slight annoyance at Taehyung’s constant reminder that he doesn’t need him.

It’s the truth, though. He doesn’t.

“You’re someone I’ve been admiring since your debut,” Jeongguk admits, and he has those eyes that ever so slightly shine with something akin to excitement as he continues, “I guess I simply, and purely contacted your company at the right moment for both of us. I needed this job as much as you needed a new bodyguard, right?” he ends with that silly smile plastered on his face. Taehyung looks away again. 

“I would’ve read your resume if I’d been given it. But, as you heard, they hired you without me knowing,” Taehyung reminds him. “And I told you I didn’t need a new bodyguard,” he sighs, head resting on the window. “I have a feeling that, by the end of this, you won’t be admiring me anymore.” He whispers, almost to himself. 

He knows that, sooner or later, Jeongguk will regret applying for this job, he will regret having met someone he admired, because he’s certain he hasn’t lived up to his expectations. But how can he be civil when every time he looks at Jeongguk he sees the mistakes he’s made before? It’s not fair, he knows, but he can’t help it. 

“Wake me up when we get there,” he closes his eyes and puts his headphones on. He doubts he’ll fall asleep. He has trouble sleeping most nights, so he tries to sleep when he can but even then it’s hard. But pretending to be asleep is safer for everyone. Mostly himself.

— ♤ —

Working in the photography and design industry has allowed Jeongguk to meet quite a number of people with peculiar personalities. He had his share of people treating his job like it is nothing worth being presented; his previous professors in the art school he went to, his superiors during his internship, and even those who went to his first and last photography exhibition. Called mediocre, or even lazy, it is, in a way, those comments that have pushed him to start working as part of the security team in museums, instead of being the artist whose art is exhibited. It is them who pushed him to drop art altogether, and urged him to find a more stable job that would suit him. One that would allow him to live comfortably, and... happy. 

Working as a bodyguard came almost as a no-brainer, not only following his experience as a guard during exhibitions, but also considering the fact that he’d spend time protecting someone who had always inspired his photography— Kim Taehyung. 

Isn’t it funny that the same person he looks up to, acts just like the ones who had pushed him to the edge? Isn’t it even funnier that despite Taehyung’s coldness towards him, he would never trade the place as his bodyguard for anything else?

It’s been a few minutes now since they’ve arrived, Jeongguk notices when he checks his watch. He hasn’t moved yet since they still have some time, but as the minutes go by, he realizes that Taehyung might not wake up on time. An amused smile pulls the corners of his lips as he watches Taehyung sleep soundly, chest rising and falling calmly. Jeongguk isn’t sure of the time Taehyung fell asleep, thought at first that it was a simple excuse from Taehyung to avoid talking to him, but in the end, he fell into Morpheus’ arms quite easily. 

He looks at peace. Content. It is almost like he’s an entirely different person from the one he is when he’s awake. 

Sliding out of the car, Jeongguk comes opening the door on Taehyung’s side, trying to wake him up with his voice, first. There is, however, no reaction to his calls. Nothing but a slight frown. Cute, Jeongguk thinks to himself with a faint chuckle. He almost looks like he wouldn’t bite. Almost. “I know you’re not the big bad guy you want me to think you are,” Jeongguk murmurs. 

It is true that he doesn’t know anything about who Taehyung is behind all those smiles he offers to the camera, and that the first impression of him isn’t quite exactly what he expected, but there must be something more to it than just plain rudeness. Starting from the question that keeps running through Jeongguk’s mind ever since their first meeting; why the hell didn’t the company tell Taehyung anything about him? Wouldn’t he be the first person to be aware of who’s hired as his bodyguard? 

“Sir? Kim Taehyung-ssi?” Jeongguk’s voice accompanies a gentle touch against Taehyung’s shoulder before he starts shaking him ever so slightly. “You need to wake up, or I’ll have to carry you inside.” 

Taehyung seems to startle at the touch, as if it burned him. He wakes up and looks at Jeongguk with fear in his eyes. As his dreams start to fade, he seems to remember where he is, then. 

“No need, I’m up.” He sounds almost surprised that he fell asleep in the first place. Taehyung unbuckles his seatbelt and gets his bag before he jumps down from the car. “Let’s go, hyung must be waiting.” 

And, with that, he starts walking again heading to the building in front of them. His armor seems to be back on, his walls back up. It seems exhausting. Jeongguk wonders if it is only because it’s his first day. Wonders if, as time passes, Taehyung will open up, slow down, and wait for him.

“I’ll be waiting with the camera crew,” Jeongguk informs when they arrive inside, “if you need anything, I won’t be too far.” And perhaps that might be what Taehyung wants; for him to be far, far away, but he certainly won’t do that and risk that anything happens, despite the fact they aren’t out in public. 

“Oka—” Taehyung is saying but someone calls him, so they both turn around. “Oh, hyung!” 

“How unfair, you got more handsome since the last time I saw you.” Jeonguk recognizes him, then. It’s Min Yoongi, the man who Taehyung is collaborating with and a very famous rapper and producer. His eyes land on Jeongguk then, and he looks confused. “Who’s this? New boyfriend, Taehyungie?” 

Taehyung’s eyes open in horror. 

“No! No, he’s—this is my new bodyguard.”

Jeongguk doesn’t seem to react immediately, blinking a couple of times at how quick Yoongi is to ask such a question. It doesn’t faze him, however, not really thinking anything about it as he bows to introduce himself, “I’m Jeon Jeongguk. This is my first day as Kim Taehyung’s bodyguard.” 

“Oh, nice to meet you!” Yoongi says with a smile. “And best of luck with this brat.” Taehyung rolls his eyes seemingly annoyed, while Jeongguk only nods politely with a hidden, silent chuckle. They definitely seem close. “He seems nice, Tae, don’t break him.” 

“Can’t promise I won’t,” he shrugs before he’s being taken away by a group of girls to start getting ready for the shoot, disappearing under Jeongguk’s round, curious eyes.

“Make yourself comfortable, Jeongguk-ssi, we might take a while.” Yoongi smiles at him, and he feels like it’s the first genuine smile Jeongguk has seen all day—it is refreshing. 

With a deep intake of breath, Jeongguk follows the staff members into the studio room to wait for both Taehyung and Yoongi. There is no specific set design for the photoshoot, only two sturdy backdrop stands at the center of the room hold a photography paper to use as background for the photographs. Countless cameras and lights are arranged all around, with the camera crew checking one last time for all the details, and process of the photoshoot. 

It’s the first time Jeongguk sees something like that—usually, the studio in which he used to shoot was small, containing one, two lights maximum, and a camera crew consisting of... him, and a friend. So this is definitely new. 

Transfixed, Jeongguk seems too lost in his thoughts to understand any of the chitchats that start growing. He doesn’t pay attention to the curious looks and hesitant pair of eyes turned towards him either, until Taehyung enters with Yoongi, and he hears the few people behind him whisper,

“He’s the new bodyguard, right? Isn’t he the fifth one in under two months?” 

Jeongguk frowns, but pretends he isn’t listening as he doesn’t move an inch and brings his hands together in front of him. 

“I guess that this one won’t last long, either. It’s a miracle that they’re still trying and hiring new bodyguards!” 

Jeongguk closes his eyes. Inhales deeply. Exhales heavily. 

And stays silent.

“Alright, everyone ready?” the photographer asks once Taehyung and Yoongi enter and get into position. They’re going for an opposite vibe: Taehyung wearing all-black and Yoongi all-white, and they look good, Jeongguk can admit that. But he can’t focus because his brain is still trying to figure out what the rest of the staff meant. The first flash goes off and they get started. 

— ✧ —

Taehyung’s got his eyes closed as he gets his make-up done when Yoongi speaks again. It startles him and the girl applying eye-shadow to give him a smokey-eye for the concept almost pokes him in the eye and apologizes straight away.

“How are you, kid?” Yoongi asks. Taehyung knows it’s a loaded question. A question that he’s not really allowed to answer to right now, not with that many people around. 

Him and Yoongi go back a long way. Years ago, they used to be in the same company until Yoongi left and started his own company focused on rap. Taehyung was sad to see him go, but he promised to work together in the future, and here they are now. 

He’s one of the few friends Taehyung has in the industry and he treasures him dearly. Which is why he knows most of the things Taehyung has struggled with. 

“I’m alright. Tired. I kinda forgot that this was today, so I’m sorry if we were a bit late,” he admits. 

“It’s alright. I can imagine today must’ve been challenging.” All Taehyung can do is sigh and nod. “Did you read the prompt for the photoshoot?” 

“I did, yeah. It looks cool, hyung. I still think you’d look better in black,” Taehyung points out and pokes one of his eyes open. Yoongi is already ready and waiting for him. His look needed much less preparation than Taehyung’s.

Taehyung’s meant to be his shadow, ready to swallow him in the darkness of his thoughts. 

Writing the lyrics for this song had been a challenge. Not because it was hard, but because it was too easy. Too easy to let his own thoughts consume him, the demons in his head take over the ink to put them down. When he sent them over to Yoongi, his hyung said they were perfect straight away; no revisions were needed before they recorded. 

Taehyung remembers crying in his studio when he recorded the song. 

“You’re the feature, Taehyung-ah,” Yoongi chuckles. “Plus, the smokey eye look fits you better.” 

It’s then that the girl finishes with his make-up, and he stares at his reflection. 

It does look good. 

He’s in a black suit, and it’s almost comical how the look itself seems to bring out some of Taehyung’s demons already. 

They head out to the studio together and Taehyung sees the set. It’s not too elaborate, but he doesn’t think they need much, after all. 

“Alright, everyone ready?” the photographer asks once they get there, and Taehyung scans the room, finding Jeongguk there, arms crossed and looking serious; it’s the first time he’s showing such a stern expression, and Taehyung realizes then that this aura is probably one of the reason his interview with the company went so well. Intimidation.

He looks away before his new bodyguard catches him and focuses his attention back on Yoongi, back on the shoot, before the flashes start. 

It’s easy for Taehyung, he’s always been told that he’s a gift in front of the cameras. It comes out naturally for him: the poses, the expressions, the looks… it’s easy. He even helps Yoongi a bit, since he’s much more comfortable in his studio than right here. 

“Okay, perfect!” the director calls. “Now, I want you to grab him, Yoongi-ssi. Grab him like you’re holding your demons at knifepoint.” Taehyung’s eyes fly in horror from Yoongi to the director, and they find Jeongguk’s as well before Yoongi talks again.

“Isn’t that too much?” Yoongi says. “I think it’s better to leave it open for interpretations.” It seems like the director wants to argue with that. Taehyung, too, wants to step in and tell that he’s not comfortable with the suggestion, but he seems to have lost his words. “It’s my single, so I say we keep it subtle.” His hyung turns to look at Taehyung, then. “You alright? Wanna take a 5?” 

“Please,” he whispers and Yoongi nods, signaling to him to go. 

“Let’s take a little break!” Yoongi calls, but Taehyung doesn’t even hear anything as he heads back outside to get some air, trying his best to relax, to calm down, but it is hard when he feels like the walls are closing in on him. 

He doesn’t even hear the rapid footsteps that follow him, the door that closes behind him. Another sound is heard, but he doesn’t pay attention to it, until a hand comes close enough to make him realize that someone is calling for him.

It’s Jeongguk, and his worried eyes. 

“Taehyung-ssi, are you alright?” he first asks, and seems to have realized the clumsiness of his question—it is obvious that Taehyung isn’t alright and anyone who would see him right now would understand—as he’s quick to correct himself, “Is there anything I can do for you?” 

Taehyung moves his hand away, even though Jeongguk never got to touch him in the first place.

“Don’t—Don’t touch me,” he snaps. He notices that his voice sounds too rough, and he gulps, but he doesn’t apologize. “Actually can you—can you find me a cigarette? I need to smoke right now and I don’t know where I left my vape,” he requests. He’s still breathing heavily, his heart beating fast just from the words the director said, and he hates that he was unprofessional enough to let it affect it, and most of all, to let it show.

Jeongguk looks at him with those round, surprised eyes, unmoving. Doesn’t even look like he wants to go and find what Taehyung asked him, despite how honest he sounded when he offered his help. “You need to breathe in and out slowly,” his voice lowers, calm and steady, and he looks like he is trying to breathe in sync with Taehyung before he continues, “smoking won’t help. Is there anything else I can do?” 

“I thought we agreed that I was going to do whatever I wanted and that you can’t tell me otherwise,” Taehyung the words he had said in the morning back in his office. “I’m old enough to make my own choices, so just do what I asked or go back inside.” Jeongguk holds his gaze for a few seconds before he looks away. 

Two options are given to him. And yet, he doesn’t seem to do either of those. Instead, he stands there, silently, his ridiculously big stature planted right on the spot. If he wished to say something, then Taehyung’s words might have made him swallow his. 

Although, that only seems to last a few moments.

The very second Taehyung turns his head, Jeongguk disappears inside.

And never comes back to Taehyung.

— ♤ —

The succession of events from today runs in circles inside Jeongguk’s mind. 

Although the photoshoot resumed like nothing happened, Jeongguk couldn’t help but feel uneasy throughout the whole session. Everything seemed... strange. 

It’s only been a day, and yet, Taehyung has been nothing like Jeongguk was expecting him to be. His cold responses, his panicked tone at the sight of Jeongguk being too close to his liking, and the overwhelming state he seemed to be after whatever happened back there, in the studio. 

When Jeongguk rewinds what happened, he’s reminded of the confidence with which Taehyung executed the pose in front of the cameras; all of it shattered by the suggestion of... grabbing? That mustn’t be it. Jeongguk frowns. He doesn’t quite understand why a simple suggestion would send him into that state, and he comes to wonder if perhaps today wasn’t just the right day. No particular reason. That must be it. Still, it is worrisome. 

Despite the fact that worry keeps shouting inside his mind, Jeongguk continues standing there calmly with alert eyes, and an unreadable face. Apparently, he was good at that; good at keeping his cool, good at hiding his emotions in a professional setting. Good at pretending. That was certainly a part of him that got him into this company. His body, sure, but his capacity at appearing stoic, strict, and if the situation requires it— threatening. 

It was his eyes. The same eyes that would soften in private, shine when overjoyed. 

The same eyes that refuse to meet Taehyung’s through the rearview mirror as he drives the latter home only a few minutes after the photoshoot ended. Everything is suddenly done in a hurry, everyone rushing like they have a ticking bomb above their heads. 

Everything is done quickly, and silently.

The ride is silent, too. Almost awkward. They don’t know each other enough to find the right words—the words that wouldn’t start yet another fire. So, they don’t dare speak a word. Not even spare a glance. They’ve done enough, they’ve said enough. And maybe that’s better this way, to calm an erratic heart.

The car stops, and so does Jeongguk’s breath. A thousand words go through his mind, a hundred questions burning his lips until one of them slips, 

“Why have so many bodyguards quit in such a short time?”

Quit isn’t the word he should have used. He knows it, but at the same time, no matter how many times Taehyung will repeat that the last bodyguard didn’t quit, Jeongguk can’t exactly guess that he was fired, either. Nor can he know if Taehyung is telling the truth. Who knows—perhaps this is something Taehyung likes to say to the new bodyguards as a warning that any mishap could lead to a layoff.

The lack of response, however, urges Jeongguk to get off the car, and forget about his own question—he shouldn’t have asked, to begin with. The day has always been as exhausting as it is for the both of them, he shouldn’t make this harder than it is by repeating the same words again and again just to get the information he wants. 

“Have a nice ev—” Jeongguk is cut off in the middle of the sentence by the rapidity with which Taehyung almost throws himself out of the car the very second Jeongguk opens the door. Pressing his lips together, he nods—more to himself than anything—and smiles faintly. “Have a nice evening!” he repeats, louder and more confident this time despite the fact he could only see Taehyung’s back. 

Can’t you turn back, even for just a second? 

Chapter Text

Taehyung had a terrible night. He tends to have them, so he should be used to them by now, but somehow, he never is. He doubts anyone can ever get used to waking up screaming in the middle of the night because of memories that haunt you even in your dreams. 

And the worst part is that he can’t even go back to sleep after he wakes up because he knows that it’ll happen again and again, a never-ending cycle. 

So he works on his music instead. 

Most of the time, the lyrics or melodies that he comes up with during the first hours of the day don’t make it to his songs. After all, only half of his brain functions properly. But sometimes he gets great quotes or a few lines for a song from those times. He hopes he can get something out today. 

Yesterday was hard for him for more reasons than one. He didn’t know what the day would bring when he went into the company in the morning. If someone had warned him about the whole new bodyguard situation, maybe he would’ve reacted differently. 

Even if that was the last thing he wanted and his company went behind his back to get him a new one, he still thinks that he deserved to know that they hired someone to spend every waking hour with him. They didn’t even care about Taehyung’s opinion, and that’s what bothers him the most. 

He also can’t stop thinking about what Jeongguk said in the car. Did he research him before he joined the company? And, if not, how did he hear about his past bodyguards? 

People like to talk, that much Taehyung knows to be true. And they love to talk about him most of all. Always making the papers whether he does something or not. So, of course, people would hear about this sooner or later. It will make him look like a spoiled brat with a huge bodycount when it comes to security guards, but it’s not like he has the energy to deny that. 

‘Why have so many bodyguards quit in such a short time?’ Jeongguk had asked and Taehyung couldn’t find the words to tell him. 

And it’s not because he didn’t know or because the answer was hard; it wasn’t. They left after they got what they wanted. They didn’t quit because they never protected Taehyung in the first place. 

He’s not sure what time it is as he sits on his couch, notebook on his lap and spinning the pen between his fingers, a few lines that barely even rhyme scribbled across the page. His dog sleeps by his feet and the sun seems to be peaking out already. 

Looks like it was another sleepless night.

The good thing is that he doesn’t really have any appointments for the day according to his schedule, so that means that he can stay home if he wants to.

He could always call Jimin and meet up with him for a chat, but he’s not sure if his best friend will be available. Being the it boy of the country requires lots of time and lots of schedules. 

As the sun’s light starts filling up every corner of Taehyung’s living room, he puts the pen down and closes his notebook and heads back to his bed. His eyes feel heavy with sleep, and he feels as if his whole body were to be sinking down on the mattress as well. 

But his memories come back like waves: gentle first until they wash over him like a tsunami, with such force he needs to sit up in bed again and remember how to breathe. 

He closes his eyes and tries to focus on the way his chest rises and falls with every breath he takes, tries to focus on how his blood pumps through his veins and how his organs are working properly. He counts to ten with every breath and Jeongguk’s voice comes back to his head, then saying you need to breathe in and out, slowly. 

He hates that he listens to him. 

He hates that it works.

— ♤ —

“When did you think it was a good idea to work as a bodyguard?” 

Jeongguk has to spit out the drink, and put the glass back down on the table. “Hyung,” he whines with pleading eyes meeting his friend’s, Namjoon, “did you listen to what I said?” 

“I did, I was just wondering why you chose to work for someone with that much power and popularity. Did the work at the museum bore you?” 

“It wasn’t that,” Jeongguk replies, but he doesn’t explain further and instead looks down at his half-empty glass between his hands. They’ve been sitting at the Café for an hour now; it isn’t an official day off as one could say, but since Taehyung doesn’t seem to have anything scheduled for today, Jeongguk took the opportunity to meet with his childhood friend. Catch up on what they missed—and, from what Namjoon is telling him, he has actually missed a lot. After all, they hadn’t seen each other in almost a year, although they have been calling each other from time to time. So, it is no surprise that Namjoon sounds quite curious about this ‘sudden’ decision to work as a celebrity’s bodyguard. 

“Let me just summarize this,” Namjoon begins to say in the same calm tone, devoid of any kind of judgment, “you started working for the person you’ve been admiring for years.” 

Jeongguk nods. 

“Yesterday was your first day.”

Another nod. 

“And he already despises you?” 

Jeongguk’s shoulders drop. “When you say it like that, it really does hurt,” he admits with a sigh. “I don’t know what’s going on, and no matter how cold he is towards me, I feel like—it might not be because of my personality?” 

Namjoon raises his brows. “Of course it isn’t, he doesn’t know a thing about you.” 

“Then why would he be like that?” 

“Why don’t you ask him?” 

That is very funny. Jeongguk can’t even speak a word to Taehyung without being glared at, and the very few questions he asked weren’t exactly answered, either. “I’m telling you, he hates my guts, he won’t even talk to me.” 

“I mean,” Namjoon drums his fingers on the table, thinking for a moment, before he continues, “you don’t have many options here. Either you stay and hope your relationship will improve, or you quit.”

Jeongguk shakes his head a strong no. “I won’t quit.” 

But then—was it the reason the other bodyguards couldn’t last long in this position? Was it truly because of Taehyung’s bratty attitude toward them? It is quite hard for Jeongguk to grasp that. However, he doesn’t really think there could be any other reason for so many of them to be replaced in such a short time. Right? 

“I think it’ll get better,” he ends up saying, “I can’t give up just because he won’t talk to me properly. I’ve been through worse, this is nothing.”

Namjoon seems to ponder over his own choice of words to say before he questions, “Do you really need that money?” 

Jeongguk stares. Swallows thickly. And raises his glass after averting his eyes, and Namjoon seems to have understood immediately.

“This is to give your artistic path another chance, right?” 

Jeongguk coughs—he definitely isn’t able to drink properly, today. “I am not using him!” 

“I did not say that,” Namjoon quickly defends with an amused laugh, “but this money is meant for you to open your studio like you always wanted, isn’t it?” 

A shrug. “I still don’t know. I’m just going with the flow, and we’ll see what happens. For now... I don’t see myself quitting anytime soon. I wanted to be his bodyguard, specifically. This job... I don’t want to treat it lightly.” 

Namjoon offers a reassuring smile. 

A sudden ringtone surprises the both of them, until Jeongguk reaches for the phone in his pocket. His eyes snap wide open when he reads the name on the screen, lips parted in surprise and thumb unmoving. 

“You’re not answering?” Namjoon asks, but at the same time, the phone stops ringing. 

Jeongguk curses at himself. I’m dead, he thinks to himself as he closes his eyes and a thousand different scenarios run through his mind. I’m fired, aren’t I? But then, another sound pops up, and this time Jeongguk is quick to check the notification and open the message. 

    from : Kim Taehyung — 5:02p.m.
    Where are you?
    Meet me at home.
    You better hurry.

“I’m dead,” he finally voices under Namjoon’s confused eyes. “I need to go.” 

And he doesn’t just go. 

He runs. 

— ✧ —

Taehyung wakes up again disoriented. He hates it when he sleeps so little that it feels like a nap. Ever since he was little, naps never sat well with him. He’d wake up with a funny feeling in his stomach and not knowing where he is. 

The years didn’t seem to change that, and insomnia doesn’t help, either. 

But, when he wakes up, he suddenly feels inspired. He finds the notebook he dribbled on a few hours ago and reads what he wrote, and a melody comes to him straight away, so he rushes to his studio only to find that he left his laptop at the office. 

Of course, he did. 

Yesterday he left in such a rush that he didn’t even pack it. 

He sighs frustrated and gets his phone out to call his manager, but since today is Taehyung’s day off, he’s not surprised about the man’s unavailability. 

“Just call your bodyguard, Taehyung-ah,” the man says. There is something in his voice that Taehyung doesn’t appreciate, but he doesn’t want to think too much about it. 

“I don’t have his number.” It’s true, Taehyung never asked for it yesterday. He’s sure that Jeongguk was given his but Taehyung never asked. 

That was stupid of him, really. 

“I’ll text it to you now. Sorry, I’m out with family now and I can’t really talk,” the man explains. Something tells him that he’s lying. 

“Alright, thanks. Have fun with your daughters,” Taehyung tells, and the man hums before he hangs up, not even budging over Taehyung’s comment, when—

he has three sons and no daughters.

He gets a text with Jeongguk’s number and calls without saving it first. He knows he could go on his own—he has a car, after all—but he’s so sleep deprived lately that driving doesn’t feel like the safest choice. 

But his call goes straight to voicemail and Taehyung groans. 

He almost saves his contact as Bodyguard #56 but decides against it. Saves as Jeon Jeongguk instead and he opens a chat with him. 

    to : Jeon Jeongguk — 5:02p.m.
    Where are you?
    Meet me at home.
    You better hurry.

He stares at the chat to see if he gets a response but it never comes. It shows as read, though, so he changes out of his pjs and gets down to wait for Jeongguk. He hopes that his inspiration hasn’t faded by the time the guy comes or else he’s going to be so pissed because he’s been having a bit of trouble working on his music lately and he knows he should be releasing a new album soon. 

He’s on guard as he stands outside his building, not wanting anyone to recognize him, even though there are security guards at the entrance of this area anyway, but you never know.

That’s when he hears the quick footsteps coming as Jeongguk runs to him. 

He really took that literally, Taehyung thinks. 

He can’t help but frown at him when he sees him drenched in sweat and wearing his blazer over a plain T-shirt. 

“What are you wearing?” Taehyung asks. Even though Jeongguk seems to have been working out since he was in diapers, he’s still out of breath when he reaches him. 

Taking a quick glance at himself, Jeongguk tugs on the blazer to hide what he's wearing under, and seems to try and catch his breath the moment he stops in front of Taehyung. He closes his eyes shut, offers a polite bow, and breathes out, “I'm sorry, I came as soon as you sent that message, I didn't have the time to get home and change. Did something happen?” he asks, worry hinted in his tone, and sincerity shown in his eyes now meeting Taehyung's.

“Oh, I—” Taehyung gets taken aback at the fact that he literally dropped whatever he was doing when Taehyung texted him. In hindsight, maybe he could’ve offered a bit more context in his texts because thinking about it now makes it sound as if something did happen, when it didn’t. “I just need to go to the company and I can’t drive. I called my manager but he, um, he wasn’t available,” he tells the younger. His cheeks are a bit red from running and it makes him look kind of cute. 

No. Don’t think that. 

He almost apologizes for ruining Jeongguk’s afternoon just for this, but after all, isn’t this what the boy signed up for, to begin with? 

“You—” Jeongguk stops himself, seemingly debating something in his head. He doesn't look mad, nor disappointed, but rather... confused. He looks around like a lost puppy, and dares to ask, “You don't have anyone to drive you around during your days off?” It's an innocent question, at least there is no anger in his tone, nothing but pure curiosity. “I should stay with you at any time if that's the case,” he adds, a bit too casually for someone who is new to this kind of job—and maybe that is why he says it like it is nothing, since he has no idea to what extent a bodyguard should go to do his job properly. 

“There will be no need for that, Jeongguk-ssi. Just pick up when I call, that’s all I need. I assume you didn’t bring your car, if you came running,” he guesses, staring at him. 

Jeongguk's lips part in an attempt to give a semblance of response but he ends up chuckling, probably at his own silly decision to come by foot. “I can drive your car, if you let me.” 

Taehyung closes his eyes and sighs, turning around on his heels and walking back inside the building. When he sees Jeongguk isn’t following him, he turns back. 

“Aren’t you coming?” he asks and the boy rushes after him, then. “I have to warn you, I have a dog. He’s very intimidating and might attack you,” Taehyung warns, even though Yeontan is the least intimidating dog in the world, but he does like to bark. Especially at strangers. He’s a great guard dog, Taehyung trained him well. 

“I used to have a dog, too,” Jeongguk smiles at the memory, not sounding even one bit threatened, but rather endeared by the fact Taehyung owns a dog. 

The doorman in Taehyung’s building looks at the both of them with a questioning look as they walk past. 

“I’ll give you his details later, Mr. Yeo, he might become a regular around here,” he tells the man. 

“Of course, Mr. Kim,” the man bows slightly at the both of them before they walk into the elevator. 

The ride up is quiet and awkward to say the least, and Taehyung realizes a bit too late that Jeongguk could’ve just waited for him down in the parking lot as he came up to get the keys, but, after all, he should start to get familiar with his building and his apartment since, as he told the doorman, it’s very likely that he will be seeing him often when he comes to pick him up for schedules or God knows. 

“That’s my apartment right there,” he signals at the door as they walk that way and he dials in the code before it opens up. “I’m assuming they gave you the code for my door along with the rest of my information?” 

“I might have missed it,” Jeongguk answers honestly, “should I have gotten it already?” He sounds slightly wary when he adds, “Shouldn’t this type of information be only shared with close—?” 

His question is cut off by Yeontan’s barks from his crate where Taehyung left him before he left, in case it took too long for him to come back. 

“Yes, yes, it’s me, sorry, baby, I’m leaving again,” Taehyung says before he gets his car keys and closes the door again, handing them to Jeongguk who seems to be surprised by the size of said dangerous dog. It’s a funny sight. “Let’s go.” 

— ♤ —

To no surprise for both of them, the ride is silent, at least for the most part. 

It is not for the lack of effort from Jeongguk’s side, he did try to ask a few questions that ended up making him feel silly more than anything—not only because Taehyung didn’t answer, but also because they weren’t very interesting, to begin with. He simply wanted to try and get Taehyung to be more open with him, but he comes to accept that this won’t happen, at least not anytime soon.

So, instead of forcing anything out, he keeps his mouth shut for the rest of the ride.

Silence, though, means letting your thoughts grow louder in your mind, and for Jeongguk, a few words spoken earlier by Taehyung replay in his head.

“I’m assuming they gave you the code for my door along with the rest of my information?” 

Why would a bodyguard need this information? Sure, someone should have the code in case anything happens, for safety purposes. However, why give it to Jeongguk when Taehyung probably has other people he trusts more in this company? This makes Jeongguk come to wonder—just how many people currently have the code to Taehyung’s door? 

How many people get easy access to Taehyung’s private rooms? 

Jeongguk swallows the uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach and shakes those thoughts away. Perhaps he’s overthinking, and this situation was demanded by Taehyung himself. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know anything. Yet, the details he catches here and there are starting to feel... confusing, and incomprehensible. 

“Your dog isn’t as threatening as you said,” he ends up claiming with an amused smile to release the tension, glancing at Taehyung through the rearview mirror as he arrives at the company’s parking lot. The rest of the sentence, a daring ‘he totally suits your personality’ pends on his lips, but doesn’t dare to slip out. 

Do not ruin this, Jeongguk, you two are far from being familiar with each other. 

“That’s because he was locked up. Wait til I unleash it,” Taehyung says and… it seems like he’s almost teasing? His voice is as serious as ever, and who knows, maybe he’s right, but Jeongguk feels that there was something in the way he said it. He decides not to think too much about it. 

Rushing out to come to Taehyung’s side, he opens the door, watches him leave the car, and presses his lips together in an attempt to swallow down the question burning his tongue. But he cannot stop himself from calling, “Kim Taehyung-ssi.” Taehyung seems to stop in his tracks, and Jeongguk immediately takes the opportunity to ask, “Did all the previous bodyguards have access to your house?” There’s something in his voice that shows just how uneasy he feels, and maybe this is his own paranoia talking, however, he can immediately affirm that he’d feel all but safe knowing there are quite a number of people who can enter his own home at any time. How can Taehyung live like this? “Please, be honest with me. Is this how the company usually proceeds with every new employee working for you?” 

“Yes,” Taehyung states dryly. His stance is back to being cold, then. Professional, even. “That is how it works. Bodyguards, managers, staff members, and the head of the company all have access just in case something happens. It’s been the same code ever since I was a trainee, so it’s easier for everyone to remember.” It’s the way he says that last line that makes a shiver crawl down his spine. Taehyung speaks as if he’s not only used to it but resigned to it. Resigned to giving up every ounce of freedom he should have in the name of so-called safety or protection. 

Jeongguk’s lips part progressively wider as he listens to Taehyung enumerating every person that has access. Words fail to come to him, and he stands there, unmoving, trying to process this insane information. “You—” Jeongguk starts, letting out a nervous breath, “you’ve never thought of changing the code?” There’s something akin to hope shining in his eyes, hope that this is all but pointless.

“I’ve never been allowed to,” Taehyung gulps as they wait for the elevator to come. “It’s fine, that’s just how it is.” 

But should it be, though? It almost sounds like Taehyung is telling him not to worry in between the lines, even though they have only properly met each other a few hours ago. Strangely enough, it seems like he can’t help but do so.

Jeongguk wants to believe it, too. But how can he not worry? 

Staring ahead of him, Jeongguk stands still inside the elevator once they're in, taking a deep breath before he says, almost in a whisper in an attempt to lighten up the mood, “At least you have your dog to guard you, I would immediately run away if I met him in the middle of the night.” He glances at Taehyung, offering a faint smile, “What's his name, again?” And, surprisingly, Taehyung almost smiles back. 

Seems like his dog is a safe-topic. 

“Yeontan,” he tells him. “And yeah, he’s the best guard dog, always ready to warn me if someone comes in unannounced.” 

The smile on Jeongguk’s face turns sad, but he’s quick to look away the moment the elevator’s doors open, and they step outside. Although he isn’t sure if he should wait for Taehyung by the elevator, or follow him, he keeps walking by his side, curiously asking, “Are you going to work at this hour?” 

“Yeah, that’s why we’re here,” Taehyung informs him. “I just—I got inspired and realized I left my laptop here and I didn’t want to lose the idea I had, but if you were busy, I don’t mind just taking it and you driving me back home.” Is that… Taehyung being nice? “Or you can just wait outside my studio until I finish. Or leave me here, because, it might take a long time.” 

Jeongguk seems to search for something in Taehyung’s eyes, perhaps it is sincerity that he isn’t sure he can find but when he realizes that Taehyung is, indeed, being honest, Jeongguk can’t help but feel excitement in the pit of his stomach. “I can come with you,” Jeongguk accepts easily with a smile, “I won’t bother you. I’ll stay, just in case, you know—” there’s no real ending to that sentence, but somehow he feels the need to explain why he’d want to be with Taehyung. 

“Alright, then,” is the only thing he replies with before they head to his studio. “Make yourself comfortable, it might take a while.” 

— ✧ —

Although Taehyung did warn Jeongguk that it might take a long time for him to do what he wanted to do, part of him still feels bad that it’s almost midnight and he’s still in his studio. But it turns out that it’s the first session in a few weeks where he’s actually feeling productive and also feeling like what he’s doing might actually end up being something good enough to release and not something that is going to join the rest of his deleted songs in the bin. 

It’s as if the melodies were pouring out of him for once, and he doesn’t want to risk leaving and losing it, because who knows how long it will take for him to be inspired again. Maybe it’s the fact that he feels… at ease while being here for a change. 

He knows that, although Jeongguk is somewhere nearby, the boy still hasn’t given him any reason to distrust him. If anything, Taehyung thinks he might be the only one that seems to care about his well-being. Or at least, he’s really good at pretending. 

He’ll make the most of this feeling of tranquility while he can. 

Taehyung hasn’t eaten at all today, but he’s so focused on what he’s doing that he’s not even hungry. 

His phone is on airplane mode to make sure that no one disturbs him, and he’s in the middle of finishing the melody for a verse when there’s a knock on his door. 

“I apologize for disturbing you, but...” it’s Jeongguk, peeking through the door as if he’s almost scared of walking inside without permission. He seems to have a bag in his hand that he lifts to show Taehyung, a gentle smile on his lips when he mumbles, almost hesitant, “I ordered jajangmyeon. It’s growing cold, so—would you like to eat now?” 

Taehyung removes his headphones and can’t fight the frown on his face. The smell of the food reaches him and his stomach reacts right away betraying him before he can even reject it. 

That’s his favorite food .

“That’s—you didn’t have to,” he’s almost speechless at Jeongguk’s thoughtfulness. Normally, nobody did something like that for him unless he asked. They had one thing clear: they were going to be by Taehyung’s side but nobody seemed to care much about what Taehyung wanted. It feels so different now that he’s not sure how to react to it. “Thank you,” he finds himself saying, and the way Jeongguk’s eyes grow when he hears it almost makes him look away; his cheeks burning up a bit. “You can, um, you can sit over there and eat it, if you want,” he signals at the couch he has in his office. It’s much more comfortable than the chairs outside, that’s for sure. Taehyung has slept on it more than once. Doesn’t even discard that he might sleep on it today. “Or you can go home already,” he offers the boy again. He already refused earlier, but earlier it wasn’t as late as it is right now, and Taehyung figures Jeongguk might’ve regretted his decision. 

“And how will you go home if I'm not here?” Jeongguk asks in a playful tone before he steps inside the studio, closing the door behind him. If he's feeling tired, he certainly does not show it. He picks up one of the containers along with the chopsticks, and excitedly offers them to Taehyung—it is almost as if he is celebrating a win. After all, Taehyung didn't refuse, nor did he kick him out of his studio. It is progress, and Jeongguk seems to be quite happy about that, as strange as it may seem for Taehyung. “I didn't know if you wanted something else, but I figured you'd like this over any other spicy dish at this hour,” he explains his careful choice, and it is almost comical to realize just how much thought he put into something as trivial and simple as ordering food.

“No, this is–this is perfect, thank you,” he repeats once the boy hands him the food. “I’m not the biggest fan of spicy food, anyway, so…” And he’s not sure why he’s telling Jeongguk that. The logical part of his brain supplies that it’s because maybe Jeongguk needs to know that kind of information in case he ever orders food again in the future, but the part of his brain that’s been through too much supplies that Jeongguk probably doesn’t care, that he didn’t ask, that Taehyung is once again getting too close.

So he takes a figurative step back, standing straighter and putting his headphones back on. 

“You can go ahead and start eating. I want to finish this verse first,” he deadpans, eyes back on the screen to not see Jeongguk’s reaction because he shouldn’t care. 

He doesn’t tell him to leave again, but he feels like he should.

— ♤ —

A labyrinth—that’s what this company is to Jeongguk. 

Ever since he left the studio, he’s been wandering through the corridors in hopes of finding either the cafeteria—he somehow recalls that it was on the first floor, but he couldn’t find it, most probably because it is closed—or any vending machine. It is almost midnight, and although Taehyung had offered Jeongguk to go home multiple times, leaving isn’t an option for him. Not that he feels forced to stay, far from it, but he can’t bring himself to leave Taehyung here and pretend not to care. He simply can’t. No matter how much Taehyung has shown his annoyance towards the company’s decision to hire him, no matter how cold or distant he is going to act towards the younger.

While he waits for his coffee to be poured at one of the machines he found on his way back to the studio, Jeongguk smiles to himself as he recalls how Taehyung’s features softened the moment he mentioned his dog, earlier. Recalls the sincere thank you that slipped past Taehyung’s lips. Recalls those honest, surprised eyes the very second Jeongguk had stepped in with the take-away meal. It might not be a lot for most people, might sound silly for others, but for Jeongguk, it is progress, and it would be a lie to say that he isn’t pleased about it. 

We are here to protect him, not build a relationship with him, the voice resounds in Jeongguk’s head when he recalls the moment he arrived at the company, which makes him wonder,

Has no one ever taken the time to learn about who Kim Taehyung is? Not the artist, not the idol—but the person he is? 

Jeongguk’s smile falters when he recalls the talk about Taehyung’s access and the number of people currently sharing the information. He isn’t quite sure what to think of it all, doesn’t even know if it is normal for every company to be sharing such sensitive information about their idols to so many people—but it just doesn’t feel right. 

It’s completely wrong. But what can Jeongguk do? He isn’t even supposed to care, from what he understood—so what could he even do about this? Absolutely nothing. And somehow, this is driving him crazy. How can this be the norm? Safety should be the top priority for these companies. Why would they do the complete opposite?

“Have you finished the verse?” Jeongguk asks the moment he enters the studio after a knock, carefully closing the door behind him and taking a sip of his coffee that will certainly keep him up for a few more hours if Taehyung decides to stay longer. “I don’t know if you like coffee, so I didn’t bring—” he stops mid-sentence when he notices Taehyung lying on the couch. He blinks a couple of times, looking at the now empty chair, and the couch again. “Taehyung-ssi?” he first calls, and when he takes a good look at him, he can’t help the endeared smile pulling the corners of his lips up. Just like when they arrived for the photoshoot, Taehyung looks at peace. Jeongguk isn’t quite sure how long he’s been gone, but it must have been more than fifteen minutes; the food container is empty, the laptop is closed, the lights are dimmed just a little more. Crouching to be at Taehyung's level, Jeongguk tries to call him again but it is no use. So, just for a moment, he stays there. Unmoving. Watching. He should probably try to wake him up, but somehow, something inside is telling him to just wait a few more. Perhaps it is the only time Taehyung can rest—which makes Jeongguk wonder if his schedule allows him to rest properly. “Taehyung-ssi,” he tries again, this time reaching for Taehyung’s arm, but before he could even touch him, he stops mid-way as he recalls Taehyung’s panicked voice telling him to not touch him. Instead, his hand curls into a fist before he draws it back, and he calls, a little louder, “It’s midnight, Taehyung-ssi, you should sleep at home,” he smiles gently when he notices the slight frown on Taehyung’s face—a sign that he is waking up, “Yeontan is waiting for you.”

There’s a small whine that falls from Taehyung’s lips then, as if that was the thing that got him to wake up.

“What time is it?” His words are slurred, clearly not having heard when Jeongguk said it. His eyes open then and they seem to widen at how close they are. “I—I thought you left.” 

“Midnight,” Jeongguk repeats, before he stands up to give Taehyung some space. “I should bring you home. Did you manage to finish what you wanted?” his question comes from a real interest in Taehyung’s work, and he gives it away with how shiny his eyes look like, right now. 

“Oh,” Taehyung sits up, then, rubbing his eyes. It’s kind of cute. “Yeah, I—I finished. Sorry it took so long.” 

“You don’t need to apologize,” Jeongguk is quick to tell with a shake of his head, a faint chuckle slipping past his lips. “You warned me, after all, and I’m here for this, aren’t I? I shouldn’t complain when I don’t have much to do,” he smiles, open and honest. 

And it is true—Jeongguk has nothing to complain about. His previous jobs were a lot more hectic, and it is probably because he had to work beyond his own physical limits to expect receiving enough money to pay rent, and food. Now, no matter how little he has to sleep, how difficult the situation will be, he believes that nothing will be enough to make him quit.

Especially not now, when so many questions are starting to arise about the company. Somehow, Jeongguk believes that his job as a bodyguard doesn’t just stop at protecting Taehyung during public appearances. 

Tiredness seems to weight heavy on Taehyung’s shoulders during the ride, and Jeongguk made sure to completely turn off the radio in case it would be too bothersome. 

Once they parked in front of Taehyung’s apartment, and stepped outside the car, Jeongguk asks, “Do you want me to accompany you to your door?” Perhaps it is the fear of doing too much after spending the whole evening with him that makes him hesitate on walking Taehyung to his door. It doesn’t hurt to be extra-careful. 

“No, there’s no need. I ordered a car for you so it can take you back home, since you ran here earlier,” and that surprises Jeongguk. Maybe that’s his way of thanking him without saying the words. “By the way, I’m going to be needing you to come with me somewhere tomorrow. I need to go shopping for some stuff.” Taehyung informs him then. “Oh, your car is here already.” 

Jeongguk turns his head to look at where the car just arrived, blinking confusedly. He can’t seem to form a coherent sentence, and looks back at Taehyung with grateful eyes—definitely not used to something like this. He suddenly bows, almost at a 90°, “Thank you so much. I’ll be here!”

“See you, then,” is the last thing Taehyung says before Jeongguk hands him back his keys, walking to the car that’s waiting for him. 

The smile on his lips doesn’t disappear until he gets home. 

Chapter Text

Maybe it was because Taehyung had been sleepy when he arrived at his apartment, but it feels like he’s having the first proper night of sleep in a while. 

When he opens his eyes, the sun is already out and he doesn’t feel exhausted for once. He even gets up and takes Yeontan for a little walk around the neighborhood to make up for the fact that he barely left the house yesterday. 

He tries to remember what he dreamed about, but he can’t seem to remember either, which is good. At least he won’t be haunted by his nightmares today. 

He lets the smoke past his lips as he walks Yeontan, and he feels more relaxed straight away. Today feels like it might be a good day, and Taehyung is even excited. 

He told Jeongguk about his plans to go shopping today, and the truth is he needs to buy a few things. It’s his mother’s birthday soon and he wanted to get her something nice, since it’s been too long since he went to visit, and although he knows that something expensive won’t make up for lost time with her son, it’s the best he can do at the moment. 

He makes his way back to his building and, before he goes back up to his apartment, he gives his doorman Jeongguk’s information, in case he arrives early and has to go up to pick him up. 

There’s something about the younger that keeps bothering Taehyung, in a good way. He can’t erase the look on Jeongguk’s face, the worry in his voice when he asked him about his door code. The way he got him food, the way he waited for hours for him to finish his song just so he could drive him back. 

It’s unusual, at least for Taehyung. And he doesn’t really know how to react to it. 

He takes his phone and considers calling him, biting his lower lip nervously, but decides against it. He’d feel bad if he woke him up, so he texts him instead. 

    to : Jeon Jeongguk — 11:32 a.m.
    Morning
    Feel free to come pick me up when you’re ready
    I have no other schedules until later 

He locks his phone again and goes shower while he plays the song he made last night. He smiles, thinking how he might’ve gotten out of his slump. 

It’s going to be a good day, he feels it in his bones. 

— ♤ —

Jeongguk didn't quite have what he would call a restful night, for he spent hours on the phone with Namjoon, questioning and talking about law. It isn't that he enjoys the subject to the point he'd spend a night talking about it instead of sleeping, however he had too many doubts about the company that had hired him and after that day, as well as the conversation he had with Taehyung, he simply couldn’t sleep. It is true that he doesn't know much about it yet, but a few details caught his eyes, worried him. Starting from the access to Taehyung's home.

“Whether the law permits this, there is nothing one can do if the person concerned by the offense doesn’t want to report the situation,” Namjoon had said to which Jeongguk had sighed. 

“There is simply no way he agrees with this whole situation. ” Any human being should be able to have his own privacy, in a place that is safe and not threatened to be invaded by anyone, at any time, whether he’s a celebrity or not. 

Namjoon's words seem to run through his mind, 

“Aren't you getting too involved, Jeongguk-ah? You should step down and treat him like your boss, not your long-time friend. This could backfire on you, and you're aware of that.”

One hour is probably the most sleep he gets, this morning, as his mind simply wouldn't stop running. 

At 6 a.m., Jeongguk sat by his own desk to check for Taehyung's schedule for the day, picking up his phone to reschedule the only appointment in the morning.

     10 a.m. : meeting with HYBE producer

That could surely wait—especially taking into account that Taehyung spent the entire evening working on writing a song. 

Stop getting too involved, Jeongguk.

Somehow, he can't help it, and feels the need to care more than anyone should. Not only because Taehyung is someone who he always admired, but also because he's seen the way his eyes averted, the manner with which he responded about his apartment access, how subtle the change of his tone was—Jeongguk had immediately noticed that something was wrong. Ignoring it just doesn't feel right. Not when he's going to spend most days by Taehyung's side; shouldn't he be, then, more attentive? 

    from : Kim Taehyung — 11:32 a.m.
    Morning
    Feel free to come pick me up when you’re ready
    I have no other schedules until later 

Jeongguk immediately jumped into his car after sending a quick, 'I'll be there in 10 minutes!' as he had already been in his black suit for the past hour now, ready to come at any moment. 

“I hope they're not so visible,” he mumbles to himself when he glances at the mirror of his car, checking if the bags under his eyes are still as dark and swollen as when he woke up, earlier. 

He pulls over when he sees Taehyung already standing outside, barely having the time to lift the sun visor before Taehyung enters the car.

“Good morning,” Jeongguk offers a wide smile, sensing something different on Taehyung's face. Maybe today is a special day—he isn't quite sure. Nothing really comes to his mind when he thinks of it. “Where are we going today?” 

“Good morning to you, too,” Taehyung responds, surprising him. “Apgujeong Rodeo.” And Jeongguk turns to look at him then as if he’s lost his mind. That’s easily the busiest street in the city, the fifth Avenue of Seoul, almost. “I need to buy my mom a gift,” he explains and then his eyes squint ever-so-slightly. “Did you not sleep?” Jeongguk thinks he hears guilt in his voice, but it might be the sleep deprivation. 

“I did,” Jeongguk is quick to respond, opening his eyes just a slight more as if that would dissipate all suspicions. “Are you sure you want to—” he stops mid-sentence and shakes the question out of his own head. He’s Taehyung’s bodyguard, he shouldn’t worry about these kinds of things when he is the one who should protect him; but it would be a lie to say he isn’t surprised. “Is it for a special occasion?” he asks, already starting the car. 

“Her birthday’s coming up,” Taehyung informs him with something that looks close to a smile. He seems to be in a good mood today which, in turn, eases Jeongguk’s worries a little.

“She must feel very lucky and proud to be your mom,” Jeongguk smiles, his attention back on the road. 

The destination isn’t far, and ten minutes is enough for them to arrive at the nearest parking lot. There, just as expected, a lot of people roaming the streets. Busy as ever. But with a bit of luck, nobody will notice them—right? 

“Should I have chosen a less formal attire?” Jeongguk wonders when he opens the door on Taehyung’s side, checking himself once with worried eyes. The last thing he wants is to be the reason people would eventually realize that Taehyung is here. 

“You can leave the blazer here and maybe… roll up your sleeves a little, if you want,” Taehyung suggests, and it’s not such a bad idea. “Although I doubt you’ll be the only guy wearing a suit around here.”

Before locking the car, Jeongguk does as he’s told, revealing his tattooed sleeve that he hadn’t really shown until then. It is only half of it, but it does give a good preview of what hides under. And it looks like Taehyung can’t stop staring. “Do you already have an idea of what to offer her?” he asks as he walks beside him—for once, he’s not rushing to keep up with Taehyung’s rhythm, and the simple thought of it makes him smile. 

“Not sure. I’m debating between clothes and maybe a necklace or something. She’s not very picky, so I know anything would do but… I still want it to be special. It’s been a while since I’ve seen them, so,” Taehyung explains with a small shrug as they try to find the right shops to go into.

“Then we could,” Jeongguk pauses just a second, enough to look at Taehyung and catch those eyes stealing a glance at his tattoos which prompts him to bite down an amused smile, “try the closest shops here, and continue down the road. Jewelry shops are a bit farther, if you don’t find anything until we get there, I’m sure you’ll be able to choose the perfect gift there.”

“Okay, let’s do that, then,” Taehyung nods and takes a deep breath, almost as if he was bracing himself for something and puts on a mask to cover the rest of his face that wasn’t already covered by the hat he was wearing. Jeongguk isn’t sure if it’d been better to not try to hide himself that much, because that might catch even more suspicion than seeing a pretty man around in Apgujeong Rodeo. Because if one thing Taehyung is, is pretty. 

And, just like that, they walk into the first shop. 

— ✧ —

This was a mistake.

And Taehyung doesn’t mean coming shopping today, or even coming to Apgujeong Rodeo. 

It was a mistake for him to tell Jeongguk to leave his blazer behind and roll up the sleeves of his shirt. Because now, he can’t stop looking at the way the material hugs his arms, at the way the ink from his tattoos peeks through, at the way he looks so good. 

And Taehyung is aware that he should stop looking, that he should stop focusing on that, on him, but it’s hard to. 

He’s considering telling him to go back to the car to get his jacket if only for the sake of his own sanity. In fact, Taehyung thinks he’d rather have people know he’s a bodyguard rather than a model or something. At least that wouldn’t spark dating rumors or whatever if they get spotted. 

His stomach does an ugly turn at the thought of that, so he tries to focus back on the task at hand, but fails miserably. 

They’ve gone through a few shops already, and although they saw some nice things, none of them felt enough for his mother. And he knows he might be overreacting a little bit because, like he told Jeongguk earlier, she’ll love anything that comes from Taehyung, and he’s aware of that. But that doesn’t keep him from wanting to find the perfect gift for her. 

When he was younger, Taehyung’s parents had to endure a lot of things for him. He wasn’t the easiest kid to raise, and he’s aware of that. They never made him feel bad for it, though, and that’s why he’s eternally grateful for them and, at every chance he gets, he tries to repay them. 

A few years ago, after having been in the industry for enough time to save up, he managed to buy his family the nice home he never had as a kid and the house his parents and siblings always deserved. His mother told him then that, after that, no other gifts were needed from him. Of course, as usual, Taehyung never listened. 

“What do you think about this?” Taehyung asks Jeongguk, catching the young boy slightly off guard and pointing at a rose-gold necklace. They’re at a jewelry store now, after having stormed in and out of several boutiques empty-handed. 

Jeongguk shuffles closer to look at the necklace, nodding with round, surprised eyes as he reads the description under it, “It’s beautiful. It also has a birthstone—is your mother’s birthday in July? Next month?” 

“Oh, I hadn’t noticed that,” Taehyung admits checking the little stone. “But yeah, it’s July 8th,” he smiles. He thinks that might be one possibility, but he wants to keep looking. 

It’s then that a woman that works at the shop approaches them. 

“Can I help you?” she asks with a smile, her uniform as spotless as the floors they’re walking through. Taehyung senses Jeongguk get in what he’s already starting to call his “guard mode.” It’s cute. 

“Hi, um, I was just trying to find a birthday present for my mother,” Taehyung tells her, and that seems to be all the lady needs to hear. Taehyung is glad that she didn’t ask him if it was for his girlfriend or something because that would have been one awkward conversation. 

And, once the woman returns, she does so with many more options for Taehyung to choose from. They are all really pretty, but for some reason, he keeps comparing them to the necklace they saw before and none of them make him feel as good. 

So he decides to get the first necklace instead.  

He’s about to ask Jeongguk for his opinion again even though he’s already paid when he notices that his guard mode hasn’t shut off and he’s not even looking at Taehyung. 

“What’s wrong?” he asks Jeongguk, but when he looks past him, he understands.

He thought they had been careful. 

“I am sorry, Taehyung-ssi, but it’s good press for us that you picked our establishment to find a gift for your special someone,” the woman tells without an ounce of remorse as he hands him the bag, and Taehyung’s stomach drops.

Of course. 

Jeongguk seems to be burning with the desire to say something back, but he doesn’t, and instead comes closer to Taehyung to whisper in a reassuring tone, “We don’t need to go to the parking lot from here, we just need to get out of this area, and find a taxi. Stay close to me, alright?” When he doesn’t get an immediate response, he asks again, “Taehyung-ah, I’m here with you, alright?”

But Taehyung’s panicking. 

And, after so long, he should be used to this: to the lack of privacy, to the crowds gathering whenever his name is dropped, to the flashes, to the screams. And, sometimes, he is, but for some reason, today’s different. 

Maybe it’s because he thought it was going to be a good day, because he was so convinced that it was going to be fine, and now it’s not.

His eyes find Jeongguk’s, then, and where Taehyung is all panicked, Jeongguk seems to be calm. He also seems mad, but it’s almost as if he’s trying to stay composed for Taehyung’s sake. 

“We’re not gonna be able to get through,” Taehyung says, looking back at all the people that have gathered at the entrance of the shop. At least they’re not coming in. Yet. His heart is starting to beat a lot faster, and knowing that the only way out is through isn’t helping. 

“We are,” Jeongguk reassures, gesturing towards Taehyung’s jacket. “You can take this off and use it to cover your right side.” It might not do anything more than trick Taehyung’s brain into thinking the crowd is farther away than it really is, but that is probably Jeongguk’s idea. “You don’t have to worry, I’ll be here. Come on.” He gently guides Taehyung to the exit, helping him adjust the jacket over him. He is slightly ahead to be the one pushing the door open with one hand. “Please, step back!” Jeongguk’s voice bursts over the loud brouhaha, although it doesn’t seem to do much. Before they take another step into the crowd, however, Jeongguk pulls the jacket just slightly over Taehyung’s head to cover a small part of his vision, and slips an arm around him—stopping right before he could touch him. Close, but not close enough to touch. Just enough to protect him. 

The rest of the world seems to vanish as Taehyung keeps his eyes on Jeongguk, on the way he keeps making way for them to walk past and shoving phones and cameras away. Taehyung already knows this is going to be all over Naver and Twitter, but he can’t be thinking about the repercussions of that. Right now his sole focus is making it out of here, and Jeongguk is the only one that can help him do that. 

He’s so careful not to touch Taehyung that it’s him that ends up reaching for Jeongguk’s shirt when someone else touches him from the back. But, soon enough, they manage to make it out and Jeongguk signals for a taxi to stop. 

Taehyung almost feels bad that the car is probably going to get mobbed by people as well. 

Jeongguk opens the door up for him and helps him inside, but when he is about to close the door, Taehyung stops him. 

“What are you doing?” he asks, unable to keep the panic off his voice. He sees the heads and phones behind Jeongguk’s body and almost pulls the younger boy inside the car just so they can leave. 

“I’m going back to the parking lot to bring the car, you can go home first,” Jeongguk informs, adding when he sees the people coming closer, “I’ll be quick, just get home safely. There won’t be anyone there, so it should be fine—”

“No! Don’t leave me, please.” 

Jeongguk seems to hesitate just for a second, glances behind him and slips inside the car before closing the door behind him. “To Gangnam-gu, please,” he tells the driver, before the latter starts the car without waiting, and hastily leaves the place, probably sensing that the crowd is after them. Hard to miss it, anyway.

Taehyung closes his eyes and breathes out. 

It’s finally over. 

— ♤ —

No matter how calm Jeongguk may have seemed, to say that he didn’t feel worried would be a lie. It is, however, not because of the crowd, nor the cameras almost shoved into his face—he went through far worse than this, and this would instill more anger than worry in him—but rather because of how anxious Taehyung looked in that situation. Somehow, Jeongguk felt like he had to do more than simply guide him to safety. It was about keeping him safe, and not only physically.

The plan he had the minute he saw those people gathering outside was clear in his head; get Taehyung inside a taxi, make sure the driver would bring him home, and go back to the parking lot to drive the car they’d left behind. However, it quickly fell apart the moment he heard the panic in Taehyung’s voice, asking him, almost begging,

Don’t leave me, please. 

It had tightened Jeongguk’s heart in a way he couldn’t even describe. He wondered for a second, a very brief second, 

Would that be alright? 

And perhaps he shouldn’t even have asked himself that, because the moment he entered the car and took a seat next to Taehyung, he felt the pressure previously weighting over Taehyung’s shoulders lessen—saw it in the way Taehyung’s eyes closed, the way his breathing calmed down, the way he let his body relax and his head fall over Jeongguk’s shoulder. It is almost like all the worry inside Jeongguk disappeared when Taehyung’s did, too. A relief. 

This is where Jeongguk belonged.

By Taehyung’s side. 

The car pulls over by Taehyung’s home, and before the driver has the time to speak a word, Jeongguk raises his index to his lips. Murmurs as to not wake Taehyung up, “Five more minutes, please. I’ll pay extra if needed.” He just can’t bring himself to wake him up after what happened. Stealing a glance at where Taehyung has his head rested over his shoulder, he can’t help but smile. Endeared, and relieved. If he knew that Taehyung didn’t mind him touching him, he would have brought the pad of his finger to Taehyung’s forehead, brush the stray clump of hair out of his eyes, ran his fingers through his curls, and—

“Are we here?” Taehyung asks, startling Jeongguk. He doesn’t sound like he was asleep in the first place, but simply resting.

“We are,” Jeongguk is quick to respond, clearing his throat in embarrassment. When Taehyung opens his eyes and meets his, Jeongguk can't help but ask, with worry hidden in his tone, “How are you feeling?” 

But Taehyung doesn’t even respond, he just shrugs and thanks the driver before he gives him probably more money than it costed and gets out of the car and starts walking to his apartment building.

What just happened? 

Jeongguk takes a few seconds to process the reaction before he jumps out of the car and rushes to follow Taehyung. A thousand questions start crowding his mind, but he only manages to call him, confused by the sudden shift, “Taehyung-ah!”

Taehyung stops in his tracks then and turns to look at him with a frown. 

“Am I not older than you and your boss, Jeongguk-ssi?” And his blood turns cold at the gaze from the older and at the sharpness of his tongue. 

“I apologize,” Jeongguk quickly tells with a bow, clearly not expecting such a reaction. Taehyung just nods and turns around again to head inside the building. 

He says hello to the doorman and presses the elevator button as he waits. 

Jeongguk cannot help but notice how tense he looks again, how… mad , even. He holds the bag where the necklace he bought is so tightly that his knuckles are turning white. When the doors open, Jeongguk hurries inside, forgetting about his car—he could always retrieve it later. But right now, he feels the need to accompany Taehyung to the door, and make sure he comes home safely. After pressing the button, Jeongguk breathes out heavily. An awkward silence falls over them.

Back to square one.

Once they reach the seventh floor and walk to Taehyung’s door, Jeongguk hears the loud piercing barks of his dog as Taehyung presses the numbers of his code at the door. The unsettling feeling returns. 

The second Taehyung crosses the threshold, he takes out a pack of cigarettes from his bag and lights one up, sighing in relief when the smoke blows past his lips. However, it only lasts a very short moment, as Jeongguk can’t help but catch the cigarette from Taehyung’s hand, almost like an automatic gesture. 

“Please, don’t,” Jeongguk demands, his free hand coming to stop Taehyung from walking up to him to retrieve the cigarette that is now being crushed between Jeongguk’s fingers—and no matter how terribly painful the burn is, he doesn’t let any of it show on his face. Nothing but worry in his eyes, when he pleads, once again, “Please don’t smoke.” 

The shock on Taehyung’s face is evident as he stares at the younger, but it seems like whatever he was going to say dies in his tongue when he sees how ridiculously serious Jeongguk is about this. 

“Okay, fine, I won’t smoke when you’re around,” he concedes instead, thinking that it might be the smell of smoke that bothers him. He couldn’t be more wrong. 

“Don’t smoke at all ,” Jeongguk repeats, more quiet this time, as he takes another step forward. “Isn’t there anything that could help you?” Smoking shouldn’t be Taehyung’s only option to reduce stress—right? “Would talking about it help?” And he sounds genuine. It isn’t some kind of ‘how are you?’ thrown at every person you meet in the street just because you got used to it—Jeongguk looks like he desperately wants to help. And maybe he shouldn’t get too involved, maybe he should stop, turn on his heels and leave the building, but he can’t help it. 

“I doubt talking will do much when there’s nothing to talk about. You saw what happened, so what do you want me to say? That I hate that my privacy means nothing to anyone in this fucking country? That, as long as they get free promo is fine to throw me under the bus? You heard her, even if I said that it was for my mom, if the reporters ask, she’ll say it was for ‘s omeone special’ when that’s a lie, but they won’t care. All people want is drama and to squeeze me dry until there’s nothing left,” Taehyung blurts out like he actually needed to let it out, as if it burned deep inside him just like the cigarette’s smoke. “Guess privacy is just not in the cards for me, but I guess after so long in this industry, I should be used to it.” There’s a bitterness in his voice, and Jeongguk doesn’t blame him, he doesn’t know what it is to live the way Taehyung does. “Fuck, and what’s worse is that now the surprise for my mom will get ruined—” 

And it looks like he’s going to throw the bag to the ground in rage before Jeongguk catches his hand; not in a tight grip, but a reassuring, warm one. He doesn’t even seem to realize what he just did, as he acted in the heat of the moment, but if he could, he would pull Taehyung into an embrace—it is just the person he is. He cannot stand still and do nothing when someone looks so... hurt. 

“It won’t get ruined, it is still a precious gift you took time to choose, don’t throw it away so easily. Please, Taehyung-ssi, think about how happy she’ll be the moment you give her the necklace.”

Taehyung seems to freeze in the moment, looking down at their hands without moving or saying a word. 

And he seems about to say something when the sound of tiny paws sounds through the hallway before a small fluffy dog appears by the entrance, barking and growling at Jeongguk as if he just committed a crime.

Turning his head to look at Yeontan, Jeongguk seems to finally realize that he’s been holding Taehyung’s hand, and quickly lets it go as if the touch burnt him. “I didn’t do anything to your dad, I swear,” he defends himself as if the dog can understand what he means, raising a hand to prove his innocence. 

“Come here, bud,” Taehyung sighs then, picking the dog up to calm him down, and that seems to work. Holding him seems to help Taehyung as well. “It’s okay,” he whispers against his fur, and Jeongguk isn’t sure if he means to convince the dog, himself or both. “He’s a… friend,” And his eyes meet Jeongguk’s then. And maybe the dog does understand human language after all, because that seems to ease him. 

A friend, Jeongguk repeats silently in his head, a faint smile pulling the corners of his lips up. He nods to himself, satisfied by such a simple thing, although he still isn’t sure of how he should address Taehyung. He even wonders if he should try and joke about calling him hyung, but he values his life too much to even dare try it once. “I think... this might be the solution,” he starts explaining when he sees the confused look on Taehyung’s face, gesturing towards Yeontan, “your dog. Spending time with him is probably what can help you the most. Isn’t it?” 

“Well, yeah, but it’s not like I can take him everywhere with me,” Taehyung chuckles a bit before he puts the dog down, and he walks to sniff Jeongguk out. “Tan, come on, leave him alone.” 

Crouching just enough to offer his hand, Jeongguk smiles when the dog approaches his nose curiously. “Why is the company so strict?” he asks, and adds without really thinking it through, “Can’t you just leave for another?”

“No, I can’t,” Taehyung responds, like there’s no room for debate there. Like he’s given up hope and refuses to even consider it. Jeongguk wonders why that might be. “Cancel the rest of my schedules for today, please. I can’t—I don’t want to go out again.” And, with that, he starts walking inside his apartment, leaving Jeongguk there with his dog now licking at his palm. 

At least the dog seems to like him now.

— ✧ —

To numb the pain; that’s what Taehyung needs tonight. 

After Jeongguk cancelled the remaining schedules Taehyung had for the day, he left to retrieve his car and Taehyung told him not to bother coming back, since he wasn’t gonna go or do anything anyway.

The truth is, he was still not feeling too well after what happened at the shops, and he’s not sure if it’s because he didn’t expect the betrayal or what is it exactly that bothered him so much, but he can’t forget about it. 

And what’s worse, he can’t forgive himself for letting his guard down enough to lean into Jeongguk’s body when they were in the taxi, for letting him close like that. 

He can’t allow it to happen again, so he needs to numb the pain and forget. 

Yeontan seems to be judging him slightly from bed as he gets dressed in one of his best gowns for the night and waits for Jimin to pick up his phone. 

To get in contact with his best friend is always a challenge after all, but he hopes today is different. 

“Hello, my love,” Jimin says once he picks up, making Taehyung smile right away. He’s one of the few people that can do that, or rather, one of the few people Taehyung allows himself to smile around. 

He’s always been so genuine with him, never once made Taehyung feel like he was being taken advantage of in the slightest. Jimin is an angel and Taehyung doesn’t think he would’ve made it this far without him. 

“Please, tell me that you’re going out tonight,” Taehyung says. He’s dazzling with his leather pants and a sequin black shirt. And maybe he shouldn’t dress like this, maybe he shouldn’t call more attention upon himself after what happened today, because he’s already seen some articles being published. 

But he doesn’t care. Not tonight. 

“Well, it looks like I am now,” Jimin giggles. “Where are we going? And why are we going? Are you alright?” he asks, knowing that it’s not often that Taehyung’s the one that suggests these types of outings. 

“I’ll let you pick, you’re the expert when it comes to clubs here in the city,” Taehyung says and heads to the bathroom to work on his make-up. Oh, he’s going all out tonight. 

He wants to forget. Forget. Forget. 

“Mhm, okay, I think I know the perfect place,” his best friend informs him. “I’ll be down in ten minutes.”  

“Ten minutes?” Taehyung seems surprised. 

“What, are you not dolled up already? That doesn’t sound like you,” he giggles. 

“Well, I’m almost done, but are you—” 

“Oh honey, when am I not?” And he does have a point there. Taehyung has never seen Jimin look bad. Not even when he’s freshly woken up. “See you in ten, babe.” And, after that, he hangs up.

Taehyung knows it’s not the smartest decision, but he leaves his phone behind. He doesn’t want anyone reaching out to him tonight, doesn’t want anyone to track his steps and find him. 

He wants to pretend that he’s just a normal guy, going out with his friends to get drunk and have fun. He’s not running away from his demons or his feelings, why would you think that? 

And, to Taehyung’s surprise —because Jimin is nothing if not always late—ten minutes after their call, Taehyung’s doorman rings his apartment’s door to let him know that ‘Park Jimin-ssi is waiting outside, sir.’

Taehyung kisses Yeontan’s little face before he puts him back inside his crate. He’s still not sure how he managed to get out before when he arrived with Jeongguk, but maybe his protective instincts got him out on his own. Taehyung wouldn’t be surprised. 

He leaves with just his wallet and checks himself for the last time in the mirror before he leaves, making sure the door is locked after himself. 

“Going out, sir?” The doorman asks, and Taehyung nods with a smile. He’s always been the kindest man, never once made him feel bad or guilty for the things that happened to him. 

He owes him a lot, actually. 

“I am! Good night, Mr. Yeo.” The man bows slightly when Taehyung walks past and he finds Jimin waiting for him outside his car. 

Obviously, he didn’t drive here. Not when he probably plans to get as wasted as Taehyung. 

Good thing that, unlike him, Jimin’s team has remained the same for years and they already know how wild they get.

“Wow, who are we trying to impress today?” Jimin asks once he spots Taehyung before he hugs him tightly. 

It’s been a while since they saw each other, because a lot of things have been happening lately and Taehyung isn’t one to deal well with all of that. 

“Nobody,” Taehyung admits before he slips inside the car. “Hey, hyung,” Taehyung smiles at Jimin’s bodyguard, Seokjin. He’s a nice man, which, in Taehyung’s experience, seems to be rare for his position. 

Or maybe he’s just been very unlucky. 

“Hey, Taehyung-ah,” the man smiles at him. Taehyung sees in his eyes that he’s either read the articles from this morning and knows why he’s here, or he’s come up to another different conclusion on his own. Either way, there’s pity in his eyes and he hates it. 

“Alright, hyung, let’s go! The night is young and we’re about to make it ours!” Jimin screams once he’s closed the door, and Seokjin just rolls his eyes affectionately at Jimin’s antics. “Ready to have the best night of our lives, honey?” Jimin inquires and offers him the first shot already. 

“You have no idea,” Taehyung sighs and drowns it in one go. The burn down his throat is familiar, and it makes him smile. 

He’s about to light a cigarette when Jeongguk’s voice returns to him to stop him, and he almost gets one out of spite, but he also didn’t bring them. 

“So! How have you been?” Jimin asks, turning his body fully to face Taehyung. It looks like the seatbelts of this car do nothing to keep his friend’s hands off him. 

Taehyung doesn’t mind, not Jimin’s. 

However, he can’t bring himself to reply. Instead, he picks up the bottle of Soju that Jimin opened and serves himself another shot before he drinks it. 

“Ow, that bad?” 

“Can we… not talk about it?” Taehyung almost begs. The whole point of going out is to not think about everything that happened today and everything that has been happening for the past few weeks, months, even. 

And Jimin isn’t someone that deals well with knowing that someone he cares about is suffering and not being able to do anything about it, but since Taehyung is asking that of him, he just nods and offers him another drink. 

If there’s not much he can do to make Taehyung feel better, the least he can do is indulge him in his stupid ideas and get drunk with him. 

That’s why he loves him so much. 

Although Taehyung wanted to keep his expectations low, there’s no doubt that it’s proving to be the best night out ever. He can always count on Jimin to deliver when he needs it the most. 

He’s drunk, he’s danced with strangers, he even tried (and fell off his ass) to pole dance after Jimin told him he could do it. He laughed so hard when he failed that he tried it again and got dizzy from the drinks and the spins he did on it. 

“Tae, I think you’ve drunk enough,” Jimin tells him at some point, but he doesn’t listen. He pours himself another drink. This one is sweeter. He doesn’t even know what he’s drinking anymore, because it’s helping. 

It’s numbing the pain. 

It’s making him forget. 

“Come dance, Jimin!” Taehyung tells his friend, grabbing his hand and pulling him back to the dance floor where the beat is so loud that the whole place seems to shake with it. He’s not even sure the words coming out of his mouth make sense anymore, too slurred from the drinks, but seems like Jimin got the message because they lose themselves together in the lights.

He’s always felt comfortable with Jimin, to the point that he lets himself relax and close his eyes, letting go of everything until he feels an arm around his waist that he knows doesn’t belong to his best friend. 

“Wanna dance with me, pretty?” A low voice calls on his ear and he opens his eyes wide and stills. 

“He’s taken, but thanks!” Jimin responds instead, waving the guy off, but he doesn’t let go of him. 

“Wait, aren’t you—” But, before he can finish the sentence, Taehyung removes his arm from him and gets Jimin’s arm to walk away from him and back to where they were before, suddenly feeling like he’s going to throw up. 

The ghost of the guy’s touch on his body feels scorching in the worst way. 

“Jimin, give me your phone,” Taehyung demands, then. His friend seems confused. “Phone!”

“What are you gonna do?” Jimin asks as he tries to find his phone inside the bag he brought. 

And Taehyung cannot think straight, but all he can think about is that he needs to get out of there. And there’s only one person that he can call. 

He takes his wallet out and finds a piece of paper where he wrote down Jeongguk’s number, just in case. 

He’s grateful now that he did it. 

“I wanna go home,” Taehyung tells him when Jimin hands him the phone. 

“Wait, I can call Seokjin hy–” 

“No, it’s fine. I’ll call my Jeongguk,” his drunk brain supplies, too drunk to even be aware of it. 

He presses the numbers and calls. He knows there’s a high chance he won’t pick up at this hour but he has to try. 

And it starts to get worse when he sees that people are staring at them with their phones out. 

“Did someone post that we were here?” Taehyung asks Jimin, but he seems as taken aback by the whole thing as he is. 

Maybe this was a mistake. 

The line keeps ringing and Taehyung is starting to lose hope. 

But then, he picks up. 

— ♤ —

Jeongguk went home more confused than worried. The day almost seemed like pure hallucination, a day that never happened. It started well, and nothing seemed to threaten the peaceful time the both of them would spend, yet everything happened so fast. The people gathering, crowding the little space Taehyung even had to breathe—it was suffocating, and Jeongguk couldn’t deny it no matter how he’s lived through far worse. So he couldn’t even think about what Taehyung could have felt. 

Lying on his bed for the past hour now since he came back from retrieving his car at the parking lot back at Apgujeong Rodeo, Jeongguk stares at the ceiling. Thinks about how Taehyung went from offering a smile, to completely ignoring him. It makes Jeongguk wonder if he could have done something else to avoid the situation, or make it easier. Should he have asked the owner to close the place, and let them leave through the back door? Should he have called the company to send other security staff members to help? But then again, none of this was in Taehyung’s schedule, so what could he have done differently to end the situation quickly? 

Those questions keep running and running in his head even when he slips under the shower for another hour, even when he mindlessly cooks some meat that he even ends up burning with how far in his thoughts he already is. 

“You got too involved now, didn’t you?” 

Jeongguk sighs at the voice coming from the phone he left on his bed, on speakers, as he’s changing into more comfortable and oversized clothes. “I didn’t do anything, though. Yet, I feel like it’s somehow my fault—I mean, I didn’t even let him get his frustration out through smoking. Namjoon, I—you know, I acted like a parent.”

“Well, that can’t be helped, you hate seeing someone ruining their health like that after what happened to your father. It’s because you care, he’ll understand that. Still—”

“I know, hyung,” Jeongguk interrupts, slipping into gray sweatpants and choosing a sweater of the same color, “I got too involved. Now I feel like I need to protect him further than this.”

“How so?” 

Jeongguk closes his wardrobe, hesitant. He turns to catch his phone and walks towards the living room, glancing at the clock. 11:50 p.m. Where has the time gone? “I told you, didn’t I? That his company feels... sketchy. The rules, the process to hire new employees, the contract, the lack of privacy... They’re not treating him like a human. It’s just—terrifying. I need to do something.”

“We’re just running in circles here, Jeongguk-ah. I told you, there’s nothing you [...]”

The phone buzzes, the screen lighting up with an incoming call.

Jeongguk looks at it, frowning when he sees an unknown number. He goes back onto Namjoon’s call, saying, “Sorry, someone’s calling. It’s probably nothing since it’s an unknown number, but just in case.”

“Yeah, of course. Text me if you need anything, I’ll probably go to sleep soon, anyway.” 

“Go rest,” Jeongguk smiles, “talk to you tomorrow.”

When he hangs up with Namjoon, he stares at the number still calling persistently, takes a deep breath in and out and responds, thinking that it’s probably either a prank call or a scam. 

“Jeon Jeongguk, hello?” 

Loud music is heard through the device. Boasting, echoing as if the person on the other side is somewhere at a bar, or a club. His first instinct is to hang up, but before he does anything, he freezes when he hears a familiar voice. That can’t be. 

“Jeongguk-ah, ” Taehyung calls his name, and by how slurred the word sounds, Jeongguk can tell he’s been drinking. “Can you come pick me up?” It’s so loud that he barely hears him through the music.

“Taehyung—” Jeongguk closes his eyes, presses his lips together as to not curse even at himself, taking a deep breath to calm the sudden worry forming a knot in his throat. He wishes to ask a thousand questions, starting from why is Taehyung out now, in a club, without his bodyguard? but the only thing that escapes his lips is, “Where are you?”

“I… I don’t know,” he admits after Jeongguk has to call his name again because he wasn’t replying. “Jimin-ah! Where are we?” he yells to someone, and Jeongguk catches the name of a well-known club before the call disconnects.

“Fuck!” Jeongguk can’t help but curse when he tries to call once, twice again, but he ends up going straight to voicemail over and over again. He can’t believe this. Actually, he doesn’t even want to believe it—he doesn’t think twice before catching his keys by the table, slipping into his shoes in the hallway, and leave his apartment. 

The manner with which Taehyung was speaking, no matter how little Jeongguk knows about him, gave away the fact that he’s been drinking. How much? Jeongguk couldn’t tell yet. All he hopes is that by the time he gets there, he can still find Taehyung standing and not sleeping somewhere at the back of the club. 

His hands over the wheel are sweating. Rare are the times when he feels dread thump into his eardrums, but this time is one of those. He doesn’t even care about how he’s exceeding the limit—there’s nobody on the road. That is, until he arrives in Itaewon. Because, of course, the bar had to be in one of the busiest areas of Seoul, just like the shopping area earlier. 

What a lucky day for him. 

Once he arrives at the club, he’s quick to park in front, jumping out of his car to run towards the back door. 

“Excuse me, you can’t come here,” the bouncer tells with ice-cold eyes, “even less with those clothes.” 

“I’m a security guard too,” Jeongguk raises his badge that he, thankfully, always keeps in his car. He hasn’t forgotten to slip it around his neck before walking up to the entrance. “I’m picking someone up. I’ll be out in a minute.”

The man seems hesitant on letting him enter, scanning him from head to toe, but then he’s gesturing inside, and Jeongguk hastily enters. 

Fucking hell. The music is insanely loud, and the neon lights are burning his tired eyes. 

Eyes narrowing, Jeongguk looks around, cursing silently at himself. How is he even supposed to find Taehyung in this mess? The place is filled with a thousand sweaty bodies glued to each other, there is simply no way he can—

“Please, don’t tell me they found out,” he mumbles to himself, his heart dropping when he realizes; the mass is actually gathering around something or someone. He doesn’t let his brain think, and quickly starts to open a path between the people, not even hesitating on pushing them aside, although he still warns them to let him pass. 

Please, be alright. Please. 

When he finally arrives by those large, circle benches made of a certainly expensive fabric, Jeongguk doesn’t know if he should feel relieved or—furious. Swallowing thickly, he looks at Taehyung, sitting there almost on somebody’s lap, eyes closed as if he’s taking the best nap of his entire life. If he could, Jeongguk would have laughed. Out of disbelief. 

Still feeling his own heart beating at miles an hour in his ears, Jeongguk approaches Taehyung, not even glancing at the man next to him when he raises Taehyung’s arm as if to help him stand up. “Taehyung-ssi, let’s go.”

“Hey, hey, back off,” the guy snaps, making sure Taehyung’s okay. All Taehyung does is whine in complaint. “Who the fuck are you?” But before Jeongguk can say anything else, Taehyung opens his eyes enough to look at him and mumbles something close to his name. “Oh,” the guy mutters and looks at him. “You’re his Jeongguk?” 

At that question, Jeongguk chokes on his own saliva, stumbling on his words when he tries to ask that again, “What?” but he doesn’t let the man clear that out, and instead explains calmly, “I’m his... bodyguard.” 

“Oh, Tae…” the man sighs, and when he looks at Taehyung’s drunken form, his eyes turn… almost sad. “I’m sorry but I don’t—I don’t think I can let you take him.” And he almost sounds protective of Taehyung now, which feels stupid to Jeongguk, considering he just said he’s his bodyguard. Someone whose main task is to keep Taehyung safe.

“Excuse-me, but,” Jeongguk doesn’t want to sound rude, but he can’t help but wonder, not having quite looked at the man properly, “who are you exactly?” And how could Taehyung be safer with someone other than a bodyguard? What does everyone even have against that word? 

What the hell has even happened?

“Well, that’s offensive,” the guy laughs bitterly. “I’m Taehyung’s best friend, Park Jimin.” 

Jeongguk blinks. Park Jimin? “Oh,” he blurts out. And it isn’t that he feels embarrassed for not recognizing him but—his brain hasn’t exactly been focused on anything other than finding Taehyung, and bring him home safely. “I apologize, then. Would you like me to drive you home, too?” he suggests instead. 

“You can drive yourself home, if you want. My hyung is on his way, he can take us home,” Jimin informs him, still with a protective hand around his friend. 

“Min-ah,” Taehyung mumbles. “‘s fine,” he tries to say. Just how much did he drink? The guy doesn’t seem too convinced, but Taehyung moves then and tries to sit up. When he does, the crowd reacts again. 

“We need to get out of here before any more people get in and you two get hurt,” Jeongguk tries to convince Jimin, a helping hand extended for Taehyung to take. A silent and reassuring way to tell him, I’m here for you. “I’m just driving him home. You two drank way too much, and it just doesn't feel right to leave him here like this. Please,” he begs, trying to help Taehyung to stand up once again, “let’s go, now. You can call him, or even me, as soon as we get home. You have my number, don’t you?” it’s a simple assumption—but Taehyung must have asked Jimin for his phone to call him. 

“Just… Make sure he’s okay, yeah?” He seems much more sober than Taehyung is, but the worry in his eyes hasn’t left even if he’s agreed to let his friend go. “He seemed…” but he shakes his head, as if he were stopping himself from saying too much. “I do have your number. You can call me when you drop him off.” And he looks beyond the two of them and at the crowd. “There’s a way out on the back that way,” he signals with his head. “There’s no way you’re making it out through the front door.” 

Jeongguk nods, thanks Jimin with a bow of his head, and slips Taehyung's arm over his shoulder to help him and guide him towards the exit. His hands try to keep a good distance between them and the people trying to block their path, pushing anyone that would even dare try to touch Taehyung—he needs to get out and now.  

“How come you chose this club to party,” Jeongguk mumbles, more worried than angry now that the security guard is pushing the door for them to leave this place. When they arrive by the car, Jeongguk carefully opens the door and slowly helps Taehyung sit as to not hurt him. “Do you need a bag, or something?” he asks, already fumbling for it behind the seat. One can never be too careful.

“Jeongguk,” he mutters, eyes barely open and smile on his lips, as if he was just aware that he’s there, as if he forgot. As if he allowed for someone to take him out like that. “You came.”

The tone surprises Jeongguk, as he turns his head to look at Taehyung, meeting his eyes for a short moment. Responding, as if it is nothing less than evident, “You called.” 

Taehyung just smiles, sighs contentedly and rests his head back on the window, eyes closed again. He is totally wasted. 

After breathing out a sigh of relief for having found Taehyung, Jeongguk gets them out of Itaewon.

During the ride, he can't help but ask what would have happened if Taehyung didn't call. What would have happened, if Jeongguk didn't answer. His fingers tighten around the wheel, chasing those thoughts away now that this is over. 

“Why are you so careless, Kim Taehyung?” he mumbles more to himself than anything, glancing at Taehyung through the rearview mirror, a faint smile pulling the corner of his lips up at his sleepy face. 

When they arrive, Jeongguk gets out of the car first, opening the door and unfastening Taehyung's belt. At first, he tries to gently pull him out of the car, but it doesn't work. 

“Taehyung-ssi, come on, we're home.”

But all Taehyung does is whine and lean closer against Jeongguk’s body. 

“‘m tired, ggukie,” he mumbles, probably sleep-talking at this point. 

The nickname prompts Jeongguk to bite down an amused smile, not exactly opposed to being called that way, but he knows that this will only last a moment. “Come on, if you’re not walking,” he starts, crouching to bring an arm under Taehyung’s thighs, and the other under his upper body as to gently carry him out of the car, “I’ll have to carry you up there.” 

But apparently, that is exactly what this Taehyung wants. Arm almost thrown over Jeongguk’s shoulder for support—although he does nothing but lean into the younger—Taehyung seems to let him carry him up in the elevator and to the door, where Jeongguk types the code he has barely memorized. Thankfully, the first try is the right one. 

“Yeontan, your dad is home!” he makes sure to announce before he steps inside the apartment, taking his shoes off and closing the door behind him. He hears the rapid little steps and the barking, apparently still not quite certain about what to think of Jeongguk. However, it seems to calm down as Jeongguk goes deeper into the apartment, asking as if the dog would lead the way, “Where’s your dad’s bedroom? This place is huge.” And, well, actually, Yeontan does lead the way after catching Jeongguk’s attention with a loud bark. The reaction has Jeongguk chuckle as he follows the small dog to the bedroom. “What a smart dog,” he praises with a smile, before he carefully lays Taehyung down on the bed, and hastily takes off his shoes. “You should change into your pajamas,” he knows that Taehyung isn’t listening, but he still tells him. He may have been worried, and then furious about Taehyung’s decision to go out alone—meaning, with someone other than another celebrity friend—but right now, he can’t help the endeared and amused smile that form on his lips at the sight of a completely wasted Kim Taehyung. Truly, a once in a lifetime experience. 

Reaching for the phone, Jeongguk dials the last number that called him, ready to leave the bedroom until a hand catches his sweatshirt, and pulls him slightly closer to the bed. 

“Jimin?” he says as soon as the other picks up the call, his eyes on Taehyung’s drowsy face, “It’s Jeongguk, I brought Taehyung home. Do you know if I can do anything for him? I’m not sure he’ll like me changing his clothes even if this looks uncomfortable for him right now, so,” he laughs a bit nervously, not really picking up the gasp of surprise on the other side of the device, “does he usually have a heavy hangover in the morning? Should I leave a cup of water on the nightstand with a painkiller?” as he keeps questioning Jimin, his fingers naturally find Taehyung’s, wrapping them to gently draw them away as to not hurt him. “Do you think I need to stay outside until morning, just in case?” 

And he may sound silly to some, but for him, it is the bare minimum—yet, there is something in Jimin’s voice that tells him... it is not so common for everyone to act like this. 

“That’s—uh… well he doesn’t usually drink this much so I don’t know how he’ll feel tomorrow but please don’t—don’t change his clothes. Water is fine, yeah. And you can head home, too. He sleeps like the dead when he can so it’d be pointless for you to sacrifice your own sleep .” Taehyung’s best friend tells him and, after a few seconds, he speaks again. “And Jeongguk? Thank you. Sorry I reacted like that earlier. I just—I didn’t know. ”

It’s Taehyung that catches his attention again by whining slightly when he takes his hand off him, like it hurt. Jeongguk worries it’s because of his touch against his skin, but Taehyung then turns his hand and holds his. 

It’s so warm.

“Alright,” Jeongguk nods to Jimin's suggestions, his eyes on their locked hands. Instinctively, he moves his thumb to gently caress the back of Taehyung’s hand, the touch just as warm. He isn’t quite thinking this through when he does it, and when he tries to draw his own hand away, he wishes he could hold Taehyung’s just a little more.  

A smile makes its way across his face at the way Jimin thanks him, before his expression switches into a more worried one. 

“Tell me... is there anything I need to know about what happened?” he waits for a response that doesn't come, before he adds, “I don't want to make any mistake that has been made before. Or... do anything that could hurt him, unknowingly.” Although, he has not even a slight idea of what could have happened, he certainly can't dare imagine it.

“I don’t think it’s my place to say ,” Jimin mutters. “ I’m sure you’ll find out soon enough, though. Good night, Jeongguk-ssi. ” And, after that, Jimin hangs up.

Jeongguk sighs. He shouldn't get too hasty, shouldn't ask as much as he does, but he can't help it. He can't stop his brain from worrying. 

Fine, then. 

“I'm gonna go now,” he whispers as if Taehyung is listening, offering a smile, “make sure to drink enough when you wake up, alright? And sleep. Although, I should apparently not worry about that...” he chuckles faintly, slowly drawing himself away to leave reluctantly.

“‘m sorry,” Taehyung mumbles before Jeongguk makes it out of the room, but it’s so quiet that Jeongguk wonders if he imagined it. Thinks it may be the club’s music that is still playing in his brain because of how loud it was.

Maybe. 

With a last glance at Taehyung’s sleepy face, and a silent bye to Yeontan, Jeongguk leaves with a strangely heavy heart.  

Chapter Text

Taehyung always thought himself to be someone that deals well with the consequences of his actions. He knows that, once something is done, to dwell on it is stupid, and to regret it is useless. 

However, he can’t help but not be too pleased with the decisions he made the night before, especially when he opens his eyes and his head feels like it’s about to explode. 

“Fuck,” Taehyung groans as he turns around in bed to shield his eyes from the light that’s coming in from his window. 

Of course, he forgot to draw the curtains last night. 

Actually, he’s always very picky about that… Why did he forget?

How did he get home? 

Suddenly, he starts to panic, because he can’t remember past a certain point of the night—and that point isn’t pretty. But when he looks around, he’s relieved to see that he is home. 

Jimin probably brought him back, he thinks as he sits up in bed, now too hyperaware of the fact that he doesn’t know what happened and it might lead to trouble. 

His head pangs again and he turns to try and retrieve his phone from where he left it last night in his bedside table and he sees something, then. 

A note. 

It’s next to a glass of water and a painkiller. 

Taehyung reaches out to get it, smiling slightly thinking about how his best friend took the trouble to write him a note before he left, but when he picks it up, he sees it’s not Jimin’s handwriting.

“I canceled all your schedules today so you can take time to rest. Take this pill if your head hurts in the morning along with your breakfast! (I saw that you had some food in the fridge). Let me know if you need anything. 

And thank you for calling, hyung.” 

There are several drawings along the page, as if the one that wrote it took the extra time to be endearing, and it is. They are very endearing. There are some doodles of what looks to be an angry chibi-like Yeontan and also a sleepy tiger that, something tells Taehyung that it’s supposed to represent him. 

His fans tend to use the tiger emoji for him, and it’s then that Taehyung remembers that Jeongguk told him that he admired him from before. 

He can’t help but let the color rise on his cheeks as he reads the note again, and he hates it. 

One of the reasons why he went out hard last night was so he would forget about how affected he’s starting to become by Jeongguk’s actions, and surely this doesn’t help in the slightest. 

And he could throw away the note and not think about it again, but truth is, the doodles are cute, so he decides to keep it just for the sake of the drawings. 

Yes. 

He opens one of the drawers of his bedside table and puts it in there, under his songwriting journal. 

Taehyung drops himself back onto the mattress and groans. Yeontan barks slightly, and Taehyung knows he’s judging him. 

“I know, shut up,” Taehyung covers himself with his duvet and tries to go back to sleep, but he can’t. His heart is beating too fast, so he decides to get up, eat something and take the pill Jeongguk left aside for him. 

It’s when he finally checks his phone that his heart sinks. 

He’s got a text from the CEO of the company. 

  from : CEO-nim — 9:00 a.m.
  I want you in my office as soon as possible.

That is never good. It’s funny that, most of their chat is exactly that because his boss never contacts him for anything else at this point, and most of their chats are never… good. 

Unfortunately, he knows what this might be about, and it only takes him logging on his twitter and instagram accounts to confirm it.

He took it too far, he drank too much, and now he’ll have to deal with the consequences.  He’d rather have an even worse headache, actually. 

    to : CEO-nim — 12:52 p.m.
  I will be there in an hour. 

Taehyung gets ready as quickly as he can and heads down to get his car. He knows that for talks like these, he is expected to go alone, and even if he wasn’t, he doesn’t want to bother Jeongguk again after last night. 

Just the thought of Jeongguk finding him in that state makes him feel embarrassed and almost ashamed. He’s seen the videos of Jeongguk taking him out of the club, he’s seen the pictures of him on Jimin’s lap. And he can imagine how frustrating it must’ve been for him to find Taehyung like that. 

So, he heads down and gets into his own car and drives to the company. There’s a hole in his stomach as he gets nearer, dreading whatever is about to come his way. 

He parks and takes a deep breath before he gets out of the car. 

— ♤ —

Jeongguk wakes up in the same state of mind as when he fell into his bed last night; worried. He can’t help but wonder if Taehyung has already woken up, if he’s feeling alright, if he remembers anything about last night. There are no calls, no messages when he checks his phone. Nothing that can reassure him, and tell him that Taehyung is alright after what happened. 

But he can’t help but worry... what if it was too much for him? 

In the morning, he keeps pondering over sending a text or calling Taehyung, just to make sure, but he shakes the idea out of his head and decides to leave him be. Taehyung is probably going to take the day to rest, considering that he doesn’t have anything scheduled. Right? 

Still, that feeling keeps coiling up in the pit of Jeongguk’s stomach, and it is after lunch that he decides to stop by Taehyung’s apartment. He isn’t quite sure of what he’s supposed to say when he arrives there, but it seems that he doesn’t even have the time to step inside before the doorman stops him.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Jeon, if it’s Mr. Kim that you’re searching for, he isn’t home,” the man informs him.

“He... left?” Jeongguk asks, processing the information and checking the time. It is only 1 p.m., where would he go at this hour, if he doesn’t have anything planned and he’s probably still suffering from a hangover? “Do you know where I can find him?” 

The doorman stares at Jeongguk. For a moment, he believes it is because of his attire, but when he takes a look at himself, he frowns, because—well, he may not be in a suit, but he made sure to not look as laid back as he had been, last night. He’s wearing black jeans, and a white shirt tucked under it, while his long, curly hair is attached in a bun. 

“Excuse me?” Jeongguk tries again, but the man shakes his head.

“If Mr. Kim hasn’t shared the information with you, I’m afraid I can’t help you.”

Jeongguk looks at the man with wide, round eyes. Well, it is surprising that despite how practically open Taehyung’s door is, the doorman is very protective of the young man. It is quite a good surprise, though. With a vigorous nod, Jeongguk bows politely, thanks the doorman anyway, and turns on his heels. He reaches for the phone in his pocket, realizing that he has two missed calls from the person in charge of filming a very short video to add to the content Taehyung often shares with his fans—it was supposed to be today, but since Jeongguk didn’t see the importance of it, he didn’t think twice before canceling it. It was merely a video of him discovering the result of the photoshoot with Min Yoongi, that could wait. But, those calls seem to tell Jeongguk that it might not have been such a good idea.

“Whatever,” Jeongguk sighs, swiping the notification to the side and instead dialing Taehyung’s number. 

It rings for a few seconds. 

Until it falls to Taehyung’s voicemail. 

Jeongguk frowns. Did something happen? He tries to call again, but it’s the same result. It could be that Taehyung is busy with a friend, perhaps even Jimin, or—it could be that he doesn’t want to talk to Jeongguk after what happened. 

Is it because of the videos? Is it because Jeongguk touched him to help him get out of the club? 

The questions swirl inside his head, but he doesn’t have the time to overthink them before another call startles him. The same number again. With another heavy sigh, he picks up the call, barely letting the person start to explain before he tells, “I’ll be there in a few,” and jumps back into his car. 

It is almost 2 p.m. when he arrives at the company, and it is only when he is entering the elevator that he convinces himself that when Taehyung notices the missed calls, he’ll text right away to tell Jeongguk that he’s alright.

There is no need to be more worried.

“Is this the right floor?” Jeongguk mumbles to himself as he watches around when he arrives on the 9th floor, taking out his phone to check the message the man had sent him with the information about his office. As he tries to find it, he walks further into the floor, his steps growing slower when he seems to recognize a voice.

And another one.

It comes from... 

The CEO’s office? 

— ✧ —

Taehyung knew he was in trouble before he even stepped into the office, but when he sees that the CEO is there with some of his managers and they all look like they’ve never been more displeased seeing him, it confirms his suspicions. 

“Thank you for coming, Taehyung,” the CEO starts once Taehyung has closed the door after himself. “I feared you would be too… affected by last night’s events that you might not make it.” 

Taehyung gulps as he walks to take a seat at the table, feeling as small as a tiny fish in a pond full of sharks. 

He’s always felt like that around them because they made sure to remind him who is at the top of the food chain every single time. 

“Of course,” he mutters. He’s not too sure how to approach the situation. Should he apologize? He’s not too sure. There’s nothing to apologize for, really. Sure, things got a bit out of hand last night, but he’s only human. Isn’t he allowed to have some fun with his friends every once in a while? 

By the look on their faces, it seems like he’s not. 

“I am assuming that you saw the news,” the man clears his throat and turns on the projector that they sometimes use to discuss comeback themes to project all the pictures of him pole dancing at the club. “What on Earth were you thinking?” he raises his voice and Taehyung wants to make himself as small as humanly possible to get out of there unnoticed. 

“He clearly wasn’t, boss,” one of his managers says. He’s not even surprised anymore that nobody in this room has his back. That none of them have his best interest at heart. 

“Is this another rebellious phase? Didn’t we have enough with the one a few years ago? What, is this your way to get back at us for hiring that boy without consulting you first? How childish, Taehyung-ah.” There’s disgust in his voice and Taehyung doesn’t appreciate it. Doesn’t appreciate how they think he’s that much of a brat to get in the front page of the papers just to spite them. 

If he wanted to do that, he’d do something else. Something worse. But he’d never dare. He’s too much of a coward.

“No, Sir. I just wanted to have a good time with friends, is all. I just happened to drink too much, I apologize,” Taehyung’s voice is barely above a whisper before he bows his head slightly. He hates it. He hates this. He hates them. 

“Yeah, you should feel sorry and ashamed. This ,” the CEO points at the videos. “Is a disgrace. We drafted an apology speech for you to post on your social media and, after that, you are prohibited to use it for at least two weeks. It should be forwarded to your email.”

“What?” Taehyung asks in shock. He’s been in the industry for almost ten years now. He’s twenty-seven, for fuck’s sake. And they want to take away his phone like he’s some teenager who just failed all of his classes? 

“Disciplinary actions are a must after your behavior, unless you want us to make you want to stay off social media.” And he knows what he means.

 His stomach sinks. 

“And let’s not talk about that bodyguard of yours who thinks he has the right to cancel your schedules left and right without a warning. You’ve been missing meetings with producers, with directors, you were supposed to have a recording today, but he just cancels without a warning? Have you already charmed him as well?” his boss laughs. 

And his blood runs cold at that. He sits up straighter and he stares at him. He can’t have just said that. 

“I asked him to do that,” Taehyung tells him, even though he didn’t. Not all of them. “It’s not Jeongguk’s fault, it was me that canceled the schedules.”

“To go party and get drunk and take him home after,” another one of his managers intervenes then, and the rest have the audacity to laugh. “Very professional as always, Taehyung-ah. You surely know how to keep the world talking about you.” 

“That’s not—” Taehyung starts to defend himself, feeling sick. It might be the hangover, but he feels like throwing up. 

Their implications are horrible, and it almost feels like there’s a hand tightening around his throat, making him unable to breathe. He can see clearly who the hand belongs to, as well. 

What helps him get back to reality is the loud crack of the door slamming open with such violence that everyone snaps their neck to look at who just entered. 

It's Jeongguk, looking absolutely furious. 

His eyes are piercing, dark and threatening—a look that Taehyung has never seen on him before. 

“If there is something to say about my way of handling Taehyung-ssi's schedule, you should come to me directly, instead of blaming him with meaningless and demeaning words,” he spits, glaring at each one of the managers sitting in the room, before he fakes politeness by bowing, and adding, “Now if you excuse us, as this meeting has now come to an end,” has it?   “I will accompany Taehyung-ssi.” When Jeongguk stands straight again, his eyes fall on Taehyung, and his expression suddenly softens. He still looks just as impatient and angry, but there is this kindness in his gaze that is only offered to Taehyung, and Taehyung only. A silent let's go now in the way he waits.

All Taehyung can do is stare back at him in awe, trying to process what just happened, but Jeongguk’s eyes are so soft on him and the strong contrast to the way he looked at the rest of the presence in the room makes Taehyung shiver with…  something. 

“Of course,” the CEO replies. Taehyung can hear the subtle mocking in his voice and it makes him even more upset. Now they’ll keep believing whatever the fuck they think it’s true. 

But he doesn't care much right now, he just needs to get out of there. 

“Do as you were told, Taehyung-ssi,” his manager advises him, but as usual, it sounds like a threat. 

Taehyung just stands and provides a polite bow before he turns around and almost runs out of the room.

“W—wait,” Jeongguk tries to slow Taehyung down when the latter rushes towards the elevator, but Taehyung isn't listening. He just wants to go home. And Jeongguk must have understood because he doesn't add anything else. He stays silent, head low, as if he could hear Taehyung's thoughts, as if he could feel Taehyung's uneasiness and frustration and refuses to make it even more difficult. 

Taehyung stays silent, too. 

Even when Jeongguk follows him like a lost puppy, even when Jeongguk drives him home. 

It’s when they finally arrive at Taehyung’s apartment that the elder finally speaks again. 

“Why the fuck did you do that?” He sounds angry, but he doesn’t care. He is. Maybe not only at Jeongguk, but it feels like he’s the only one he can take it out on.

There isn’t an immediate response, though. Jeongguk looks surprised by Taehyung’s sudden question—and his eyes seem to brim with something akin to remorse, too.

“I couldn’t let them keep accusing you like that, I just—should have I not done anything?” he asks back, his voice lowering. “I despise the way this company treats you, hyung. You shouldn't expect me to keep quiet when I hear the way they talk to you.”

“I don’t think what you did helped as much as you think it did. You probably made it worse,” Taehyung chuckles, thinking about the way everybody in that room probably got their suspicions confirmed when Jeongguk barged in like that. 

Of course, it’s not that he doesn’t appreciate the fact that, for once, it seems like someone is on his side. But it makes him feel almost helpless knowing that he couldn’t have gotten out of that himself. 

“You know what? Maybe two weeks of disappearing from the world is for the best,” he informs him, since Jeongguk did not hear the sanction they put on him for his ‘wild choices’. “I guess you can have a small vacation, huh? Aren’t you lucky?” And he opens the door, then. He knows the bitterness shows in his tone, and he knows it’s mostly misplaced, again. 

He still doesn’t apologize.

Although, Jeongguk does, just very few words spoken quietly right before the door closes, “I’m sorry, hyung.”

— ♤ —

Three days flew by without a single message, without a single call. Which, after all, isn’t so odd given the fact that the company urged Taehyung to lay low, and has probably prohibited him from using his phone—Jeongguk isn’t quite sure about it since he didn’t hear everything last time, but it is what he understands from ‘two weeks of disappearing from the world.’ And, after those words thrown at his face about him ‘having a small vacation,’ he believes that all schedules have been canceled, too, for Taehyung to stay at home. Confined, or rather, locked inside.

Bullshit. 

Jeongguk reminds himself of what he overheard three days ago when he stopped in front of the CEO’s office, and he can’t help but feel the anger pulsing in his veins, setting his heart into an erratic pace. 

Perhaps it is because Jeongguk is the naïve type of person who simply refuses to believe that anyone could be so strict and irrational to their own employees, but he is beyond furious about the whole situation. The worst is that he undoubtedly doesn’t know half of what is going on with the company. And it infuriates him. 

The laughs from the managers present in the office echo in Jeongguk’s head, and his heart drops at the thought that Taehyung must have endured these kinds of situations more times than he can count. Not only the nonsense that is the sanction he’s been given, but the mocking laughs and eyes that were on him.  

Jeongguk doesn’t seem to be able to sleep during those three full days. He keeps tossing and turning around, waking up in the middle of the night and walking around with his eyes set on his phone as if he was simply waiting for a certain someone to call him, even though he knows he won’t. 

Last night, he even composed Jimin’s number, staring at it for a long time while pondering over calling, or not calling him. He thought that maybe, just maybe, Jimin knew how Taehyung was handling this whole situation. 

But Namjoon’s voice came up to shake him into reality, 

Aren’t you getting too involved? 

So he chased away the idea of calling Taehyung’s best friend for any new information.

“Do you think he’s eating enough, though?” 

“Mh,” Namjoon drowsy voice comes out of the phone. He’s been humming for the past ten minutes now, probably too tired from his day, and from having heard Jeongguk talk for almost an entire hour. Not counting the fact that it’s almost one a.m., too. It isn’t that he’s not interested in Jeongguk’s story, but he knows that whatever he says will not be taken into consideration—he already stopped trying to give any advice. “Don’t you want to sleep, now, Jeongguk-ah?” 

Jeongguk bites down on his lower lip, looking down at the keys he’s tightening in his hand as if he’s just waiting for his friend to tell him— do not do it, Jeongguk. “I can’t sleep.”

“Why not try some calming tea?” 

“It doesn’t help.”

“Music?” 

“It’s even worse.”

“You don’t have anything that could help you fall asleep, right now?” 

Well... Jeongguk does. But how should he put it? “I do. Should I do it?” 

Namjoon doesn’t even question the meaning of ‘it’, and immediately hums, “Yes, do that, and go to bed, Jeongguk-ah. Let’s talk to each other tomorrow, alright?” 

A nod. Jeongguk smiles faintly. “Alright, thank you, hyung. And goodnight.”

The moment the call ends, Jeongguk is already out of his apartment, as if Namjoon’s unconscious approval was exactly what he needed to do what he’s been dying to ever since that day; check on Taehyung. And perhaps it is the most idiotic idea because—one, he will come unannounced, and he doesn’t really know if Taehyung wants him there—two, it is already one in the morning, and three, what excuse should he give once they meet? 

That Taehyung’s bodyguard simply wanted to see him? 

For what, exactly? 

Yet, this doesn’t stop Jeongguk from driving to the house, heart loud in his ears. He should have probably changed, too, but he doesn’t care—he’s wearing baggy and comfortable clothes, his hair down and messy. He looks like he just came out of the gym, although he hasn’t gone today. And he doesn’t really care. 

He just wants to see Taehyung. 

When he pulls over, the first thing that he notices is the light coming from the seventh floor—coming from Taehyung’s apartment. He’s still awake? The second thing he notices when he walks towards the main entrance is the presence of an unknown, expensive car. Jeongguk has never seen it here, he is sure of that. Could it be Jimin’s? Who would have such a shiny jet black car parked by Taehyung’s house at such an hour? 

Strangely enough, the moment he steps inside the building, his brain is alerted. His eyes dart everywhere as if he’s searching for something or someone, and he can’t really put his finger on what exactly is troubling him and sending him into that guard mode. His footsteps quicken. The elevator seems slower than usual, because of how rapidly his brain runs. Then, he arrives at the seventh floor, and he notices...

A terribly heavy cologne from someone who just walked by. 

Jeongguk doesn’t wait anymore. He knocks on Taehyung’s door, rings the bell once, and he may be acting irrationally at this moment, but his brain can’t do much more when his nose is so sensitive to scents, and is burning with the smell of that awful cologne, probably mixed with alcohol. His heart beats, loud and angry and fast, and it only comes to a halt when Taehyung swings the door open and Jeongguk almost falls out of relief. It is ridiculous.

“You’re—” he begins to say, eyes as wide as Taehyung’s right now, breathing out a nervous chuckle, “Are you alright?,” is all he manages to ask, and perhaps it is not the smartest question in this situation, especially after what happened and is happening to Taehyung, yet he can’t help but wonder. Sincerity brims his eyes. 

The sigh of relief Taehyung breathes after that is almost as unexpected as Jeongguk’s presence there, which surprises him. Is he happy to see him?

“Thank God, it’s you,” Taehyung whispers almost to himself and walks back inside, leaving the door open for Jeongguk to follow him.

“Were you waiting for someone else?” Jeongguk asks, confused by Taehyung's reaction, before he enters the apartment and closes the door behind him. 

“No, it’s not that, I— You really didn’t learn the code, huh? Thank God Yeontan is at my parent’s, otherwise he would’ve lost his mind,” he chuckles, but Jeongguk can still feel the nerves in the older man's voice. He looks… worn out, almost. Which is funny, since he probably should’ve used this time to rest. 

But Jeongguk’s confusion doesn’t fade with his words, in fact, it gets worse. 

“I didn't type in the code,” Jeongguk admits, eyebrows creasing, “I'd never use it without telling you first, or for any real emergency.” And he seems to search for something in Taehyung's eyes before he shifts closer, asking, “What happened?”

And the horror returns to Taehyung’s eyes after his words. Jeongguk feels like he’s missing something, but neither of them has the time to say anything else before the beeping sound of the door pad breaks the silence. 

“Honey, I’m home,” a voice calls from the entrance and Taehyung gasps and grabs Jeongguk’s arm so tightly that it hurts.

Jeongguk immediately turns his head toward the door, and steps in front of Taehyung. No matter who it is, he shouldn’t be here, and Jeongguk knows it. 

Who the fuck is it?

— ✧ —

It’s been a few days since his mandatory (and against-his-will) confinement began. 

After the meeting with his superiors, he did as he was told. Of course, he did. They never offered him a choice in the first place.

He posted the shit apology letter on his socials, hating every word of it that made him sound stupid and almost like he was some out-of-control child who needed to learn how to behave when, in reality, all he did was have some drinks and dance with friends. 

He wasn’t allowed to change anything, so he didn’t. He just posted it and let the world have their say on it without his consent, as usual. 

Thankfully, his fans were kind enough to defend him; to say that he had nothing to apologize for and that it was fine. The general public wasn’t so kind, but it never is. 

Although he wasn’t allowed to post on socials, he kept checking them anyway, to see if any opinions changed, to see more and more videos pop up, from both him and Jeongguk at the shops and from the club. 

It’s a nightmare. 

There are even some dating rumors coming up about him and some girl Taehyung has never talked to in his life just because of the necklace he bought, because apparently her birthday is soon as well and that was her favorite jewelry shop. 

People are so desperate for a story they’ll make everything up and believe it. 

It’s hilarious to see his fans try to get his company to report those fake news and ‘protect Taehyung’ as if they ever had. As if they probably aren’t the ones running the stories themselves just to make sure the other ones die down. 

He’s been trying to work on his music, though. 

Lyrics keep pouring out of him, out of rage, out of sadness, out of desperation. It might end up being his darkest album yet, might even be his last one. 

He’s always found his escape through music, ever since he was young. When the world didn’t understand him, he’d write it down and sing as if it was someone else’s story. He felt brave like that, being able to admit truths that were scary at the time. 

Music has always been his best and biggest shield, and it still is now. But he’s not sure how much else he’s got in him. If doing what he loves brings him all of this , then maybe it’s not worth it. 

Maybe it’s time to reconsider. 

At least the new songs sound good, at least the fans will enjoy them, no matter how much it hurts to sing them. 

He hasn’t been sleeping well, unfortunately. Mostly because he spends most of his time working, and the rest of the time afraid of his own thoughts. 

Since he wasn’t allowed to leave the apartment at all, he had to take Yeontan to his parent’s so that he could be taken care of properly, and being alone in the apartment is haunting. 

Usually, he can always rely on his little guard dog to make sure to warn him if something’s off, but right now, he’s alone, and every single weird sound he hears triggers him into panic. 

It’s getting late now, and he’s decided he’s done for the day after finishing another song. Untitled, for now, like most of them. He’s making sure to save the file before he turns the computer off when he takes his headphones and suddenly hears something that turns his blood to ice. 

Someone’s at the door. 

His head snaps to the door and then to the kitchen. Should he go get something to defend himself? Who would come this late at night anyway without a warning? 

Jimin would’ve called. 

He gulps and stares at the door, his heart beating a million times per second, but it never opens. The sound of the denied access due to the wrong code is loud enough for Taehyung to hear, and he frowns. 

Maybe one of his neighbors got home drunk and got off on the wrong floor —since he owns the entirety of the seventh floor, he tries to tell himself so he can calm down, but he’s still unable to move. 

In fact, he’s still staring at the door as if he was stuck in one of his nightmares when the doorbell goes off at the same time as loud knocks startle him. 

It takes him a few seconds to react, but when he does, he opens the door with fear. 

It’s the same fear he finds in Jeongguk’s eyes as soon as he sees him. 

“You’re—” he begins to say and chuckles nervously as if he’s wondering why is he there at this hour.  “Are you alright?” And, as usual, it sounds like he means it. Like he cares. Taehyung’s heart has the audacity to slow down when seeing him. Has the nerve to feel better. And he sighs, grateful that it’s him that came instead of any of the other scenarios that his brain had already started to come up with. 

“Thank God, it’s you,” Taehyung whispers and turns to go back inside. They haven’t spoken at all since their last… argument. To be fair, Taehyung’s phone has been off for most of the time, and even when it wasn’t, he knew he had nothing to say to the younger, so he didn’t reach out. 

Still, he’s happy to see him now. 

“Were you waiting for someone else?” Jeongguk asks after he’s followed him inside and has closed the door after the both of them. 

“No, it’s not that, I— You really didn’t learn the code, huh?” Taehyung chuckles. He’s still a bit nervous, but part of him is endeared that Jeongguk tried to get in to check on him but forgot his access code. “Thank God Yeontan is at my parent’s, otherwise he would’ve lost his mind.” He can imagine the loud barks his dog would’ve let out just at the beeping sound of the door. Probably would’ve started barking even before Jeongguk even got to the door. 

“I didn't type in the code,” Jeongguk informs him, the confusion evident on his face. “I'd never use it without telling you first, or for any real emergency.” But Taehyung’s heart sinks when he says that, and it seems like the younger is able to tell. “What happened?”

If it wasn’t Jeongguk who tried to get in, then who… 

The sound of the door opening, this time for real, breaks the silence before a voice does. 

A voice that Taehyung knows too well, a voice that haunts him in his worst nightmares. A voice that makes Taehyung reach for Jeongguk’s arm so hard that he fears it might bruise him. 

“Honey, I’m home.”

Jeongguk turns around, facing the door and places himself protectively between the door and Taehyung. 

And he feels so fucking ashamed at how much a sentence gets to him, how much it still gets under his skin enough to make his knees shake and his breath hitch. 

“J-Jeongguk,” he stutters, voice breaking and grip tightening. And he turns enough to look at Taehyung one last time before he speaks. His eyes darken, his eyebrows falling into a menacing look as he clenches his jaw, turning back to look at him.

It looks like he’s ready to pick a fight, and it must certainly be because of how hard Taehyung is digging his nails into Jeongguk’s arms; his fear triggering the protective mode Jeongguk turned on. 

“Honey?” Jeongguk echoes in a mocking, and surprised tone, as if he’s keeping himself from speaking his mind—Taehyung can feel that Jeongguk is containing himself, can feel it in the way Jeongguk moves to completely hide Taehyung behind him, in the way he tries to take a step further but doesn’t because Taehyung’s grip only tightens. “Who the fuck are you calling honey, after breaking inside someone’s house like a thief?” And his voice is... so damn menacing. It sounds deeper, and he speaks as if he’s gritting his teeth with anger, and it must be because his eyes met the ones of the man who just entered. 

Gyubin. 

“Wow, babe, you really move on fast, huh? Maybe the rumors are true,” Gyubin chuckles. Taehyung knows the tone, he’s drunk. That’s dangerous. 

The last time he came to his apartment drunk, Taehyung ended up with bruises around his throat.

“Get the fuck out of my house,” Taehyung manages to say, but he doesn’t sound intimidating at all . He’s but a poor, helpless puppy in front of a lion. Not a tiger in the slightest. 

“Is that how you greet me after this long?” His smile is disgusting, Taehyung feels sick, and he keeps walking their way. “After all the trouble I went through to come see you? But if I knew you’d replaced me already like the whore you are, maybe I wouldn’t have waited for your doorman and your stupid dog to be out of the building, I wouldn’t have bothered.” 

His words cut him as deep as always. 

It still blows his mind how did anybody allow this man to come anywhere near Taehyung, even less claim to protect him. 

“Is this your new toy, Taehyung-ah? I saw you two on the papers, I had to come check for myself.” 

The world is starting to fade around the edges of Taehyung’s vision, rage mixed with fear and sadness. He can’t say anything, his tongue is tied and his throat is closing in with every step Gyubin takes. 

“Back off,” Jeongguk warns, but it seems that Gyubin isn’t listening, and Jeongguk isn’t quite the one to be joking in these types of situations. He takes a step forward, his hand flying to Gyubin’s collar that he takes to push him violently back. The alcohol in the latter’s body seems to make him lose balance as he takes a few steps back to avoid falling; and not without cursing in frustration. “Did you hear him? He told you to get the fuck out,” Jeongguk spits again, and when he draws his arm away from Taehyung’s hands, Taehyung understands that something is about to explode between those two with how tense the atmosphere is. “I was gonna go easy on you, but don’t you think you should watch that nasty mouth of yours? A tooth or two could fall out along with the disgusting words you speak,” Jeongguk rolls up one of the sleeves of his sweatshirt, revealing his veins that showed up with how hard he had clenched his fists, and he takes another daring step forward to show that he certainly isn’t one bit intimidated by the man. Quite the contrary. He seems more than ready to jump in and drag Gyubin out of here with his own bare hands if he’ll need to. “Apologize to him, and get out of here. Now.”

Gyubin has the audacity to laugh even though Jeongguk’s fist is ready to impact against him at any second.

“Apologize? To him?” He signals Taehyung with his head as if he was the most insignificant human being on Earth. He feels like he is, too. “Why would I when I haven’t said anything wrong? If he really didn’t want me here, he wouldn’t have let me in,” he smiles with that disgusting smile of his. As if not changing the code to his door was some kind of sign that he wanted him there. As if he hasn’t told his doorman to never let him in again. “You miss it, don’t you, Taehyung-ah? You regret sending me away? You miss my hands on your b—“

And Taehyung has to cover his ears in panic, legs giving in now that Jeongguk isn’t there to keep him stable and crouches down, closing his eyes and hoping he can wake himself up from this nightmare. 

But it feels too real. 

A harsh sound then bursts into the room, followed by a pained moan and an icy, infuriated, “One last fucking time!” Jeongguk shakes the fist that had punched Gyubin right against his irritating face, and pushes him violently backward when the latter threatened to respond back the same way, not letting him get anywhere near enough to punch Jeongguk. “Apologize,” his voice doesn’t exactly get louder, but colder, and more threatening, “or I’ll make you.” He, however, doesn’t let Gyubin speak another word as he grabs his lower face, fingers digging into the man’s cheeks with such a strong grip that it leaves red marks when he lets it go, shoving Gyubin to the ground—and it is even scarier to notice that Jeongguk doesn’t even seem to have put all his strength into making him fall. “If you speak another ill word to him, or even think about coming near him after today,” his foot presses against Gyubin’s chest to prevent him from standing up right away, the pressure quick and strong at once before he draws it back, “I’ll make sure you’ll stand in front of the court the next time we meet.”

Taehyung is still on the ground and his eyes meet Gyubin, and he looks mad in every sense of the word. Taehyung’s eyes dart between him and Jeongguk who still towers over his body, ready to hit him again if needed. 

“I don’t think you want me to stand in court, do you, Taehyung?” He keeps acting as if Jeongguk isn’t there, as if he hadn’t just punched him in the face. “I think it’s in all of our best interest if we keep things private as we have until now, don’t you think?”

“Please just—just get out,” he’s shaking, he’s crying, he’s terrified. “I don’t want you here, so please leave.”

Jeongguk seems to immediately react to that, hand flying to catch Gyubin’s arm as soon as the latter somehow stands up, dragging him towards the door that he opens. “Get the fuck out, and never show your face ever again,” Jeongguk spits when he shoves the man out of the door and out of Taehyung’s sight, pushing him another time to prevent him from taking a step forward to look inside. 

He seems to be saying something else, but Taehyung can’t hear from where he is, can’t see anything for a moment—certainly because Jeongguk is making sure that the man is leaving the building for good, and not just standing there waiting. He must have also dragged him to the elevator, because he seems to be hearing the door close, but it opens very soon again with a completely different Jeongguk; this one isn’t threatening. His eyes are soft, incredibly worried, and his voice is gentle when he comes almost running to Taehyung, dropping to his knees to search for his eyes.

“Hyung, look at me, you’re fine,” Jeongguk tries to reassure him, hands definitely wanting to reach to offer a gentle touch and yet not sure that it is the right moment for it, “he’s gone, alright? He’s gone, please look at me. Can you breathe for me?” And he tries to help by inhaling and exhaling slowly. But Taehyung reaches out and grabs him and hugs him tightly. He’s not even in control of his own body anymore, and he needs Jeongguk close, now. 

“Thank you,” honesty drips from his voice, and now that it is over, he allows himself to break. 

He breaks in his arms without a warning. 

“A–Are you okay?” Taehyung asks, pulling back enough to look into Jeongguk’s eyes, who looks stunned. Taehyung knows that Gyubin didn’t get to lay a finger on him, but still. He looks down at his fist and gulps. It’ll probably bruise.

“Are you?” Jeongguk asks back as their eyes meet again, his hand gently drawing soothing circles on Taehyung’s back. He doesn’t seem to be that bothered by the bit of blood on his knuckles, and it is almost like he is used to it. “Stop looking at my hand, it’s nothing,” he tells him, still careful about the gentle tone he’s using, and offers a comforting smile, although worry can be read all over his face. “Do you want to tell me what happened, or,” his hand stops moving, very softly pulling, just enough as if to tell Taehyung that it is fine to stay close to him, “want to stay like this for a moment?” 

“Can we—please?” Taehyung whispers as the tears keep rolling down his face. He barely has the strength to wipe them off. “I don’t think I am okay, yet.” And Taehyung would’ve never admitted this out loud if he’d been in his right mind. Wouldn’t have allowed himself to get this close, but after what just happened, the last thing he wants is to push Jeongguk away, to be left alone in this place. 

He closes his eyes and his whole body deflates in Jeongguk’s arms. 

It feels like he can breathe again. 

— ♤ —

Rare are the times Jeongguk feels his veins pulse with anger, and yet today his blood felt like a burning fire inside his body. 

His fear from the moment he noticed the heavy cologne in the corridor ended up being justified when he and Taehyung heard the keypad, and the door open. And he could imagine anything, but certainly not what happened. Everything went by so fast, his own body moving naturally to protect Taehyung the moment he heard the fear in his voice. It was a sound he had yet never heard from Taehyung, and the look in his eyes was what infuriated Jeongguk the most—who would be the reason for such a reaction, and for what ? It didn’t make sense, nothing made sense, and it turned worse when Jeongguk heard those words, “honey, I’m home.” 

Jeongguk wanted to laugh. Nervously. Furiously. 

How dare that drunkard call Taehyung this way? 

Jeongguk tried to contain himself, to prevent himself from throwing a punch because he knew it would only make things worse. Yet he didn’t fear anything, not only because he has a few years of boxing behind him, but mostly because Taehyung was all he could care and think about at that moment. In the end, he couldn’t hear any rational thought at the scene that was unveiling in front of him—not only was Taehyung asking, begging the man to leave, a voice so weak and brittle that it sent Jeongguk’s brain haywire, but that fucker had the nerves to laugh and call him—

Fuck, Jeongguk just wishes he had broken that nose after splitting those disgusting lips to take the disturbing smirk off his face. He had let his anger take over him, had pushed and thrown the man out, dragged him through the corridor until he was in the elevator and left. Jeongguk had let it get to his head, so much that when he went back into the apartment and saw Taehyung on the ground, paralyzed, tetanized by fear, his heart dropped to his feet. 

It brought him to the harsh reality he was so confused about. 

That fucker did something to Taehyung. 

And Jeongguk wasn’t there to protect him, then. The realization collapsed like heavy concrete over his head, dragging him to the ground to check on Taehyung, to offer him the comfort he needed, and to embrace him close, tight into his arms when Taehyung urged him to be close, close, and closer. It was all he could do now, and those thank you’s that escaped Taehyung’s lips didn’t even make it to Jeongguk’s brain, he was too focused on blaming himself.

Sorry, he desperately wanted to whisper, instead tightening his warm embrace, I’m sorry I wasn’t there before. 

I’m sorry. 

“Be careful, it’s hot,” Jeongguk warns with a gentle smile when he comes back from the kitchen with a mug—he prepared a tea with what he found in his cabinets, after the both of them moved to the couch in the living room. They haven’t said a word since they left each other’s arms, yet Jeongguk never stopped moving; one, to search for tissues, two, to retrieve a blanket for Taehyung’s tremors—although he knew that it was still the fear the provoked that—and three, to prepare something warm to drink. He’s only now sitting by Taehyung’s side, offering him the drink and giving him the space he might need now. He doesn’t expect Taehyung to speak about it yet, doesn’t even expect him to explain who that man is at all, but there is still something coiling up in Jeongguk’s stomach. He wonders if he could help, either by listening, or by helping him... in any way. 

For a moment, it’s silent. Jeongguk watches Taehyung, and his heart tightens when he notices how red and swollen Taehyung’s eyes are from crying, crying, and crying in his arms. 

“He was my bodyguard before you. The one that ‘quit’ ,” Taehyung whispers then out of the blue, holding the mug close to him as if he feared that he’d drop it. 

Jeongguk gasps, his heart jumping to his throat. What? He swallows his words first, uneasiness pooling at the pit of his stomach. How can someone like that ever claim to be a bodyguard of any sort? A thousand questions run through Jeongguk’s head, and he weighs every single one of them on his tongue, until he stops to ask, carefully, “Was he like... this since the very beginning?” 

“They never are,” Taehyung sighs. They? 

With a frown, Jeongguk faintly shakes his head in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Why do you think I told the company I didn’t want another bodyguard? Why do you think I’ve had so many bodyguards in such a short time?” And he sounds so sad it breaks Jeongguk’s heart. “The company never did background check on them, they never cared when I went into their office with proof that they were—” he closes his eyes, taking a deep breath and holding the mug tighter. “They get what they want and they leave, making sure I can’t do anything without repercussions.” He sounds so bitter, but suddenly, his voice turns into a whisper before he asks, “Are you going to be like that, too?” The sadness in his eyes when they meet Jeongguk’s is devastating. 

Jeongguk wants to reach out and offer him comfort, reassure him that he won’t be like any of these men, but he only stares deeply into Taehyung’s eyes, a slight shake of his head. He ends up telling, with a heart so heavy that it almost hurts speaking, “I wish we’d met before all of that happened. I would have never—” he pauses when he realizes he shouldn’t speak about anything before knowing for sure what happened, hates that he already assumes that what happened included— “You can still bring them to court.” He may not exactly know the details, and he feels guilty for wanting to ask, for wanting to tell and assure Taehyung that all he wants, all he desperately needs is to protect him. 

And not just claim to protect him.

“You heard him… I can’t. It would get out of hand, and they have things over my head, the same as the company. I can’t—I can’t do anything,” Taehyung admits. “It’s—It’s fine, I just thought… since I fired him, he’d never come back, but the fact that he waited for Mr. Yeo to be gone and for me not to have Yeontan here… I don’t even want to think about what would’ve happened if you hadn’t been here.” And he bites his lip before he speaks again. “Do you know how I can change the door code? I don’t care if I get in more trouble with the company I—I don’t feel safe here. I never truly have but…” 

At each word falling from Taehyung’s lips, Jeongguk’s throat tightens with a mix of anger, worry, and sadness. How could anyone even think about laying a finger on him? “I’m not used to that type of lock,” Jeongguk admits, having mostly been living in apartments that still had old locks, and he’s quick to add, “but my hyung knows quite a lot of people, I’m sure he knows someone trustworthy enough to change that for you without alerting anyone.” And perhaps the mention of another stranger might instill panic inside Taehyung’s head, so Jeongguk reassures with a gentle smile, “I’ve known him since we were kids, you can trust him. He’s also a lawyer, so, he knows how to keep information to himself.”

The corners of his lips slowly drop, as he’s still processing Taehyung’s words. It’s weighing on him, heavy on his shoulders, heavy inside his ribcage, and he can’t help but ask,

“Should I stay with you until the door code is changed?” Should I stay the night? “I can take the couch—I can even sleep on that rug over there, I’ll be closer to the door, and honestly I’m pretty sure it’s more comfortable than the floor I used to sleep on when I was in Uni,” he takes a deep breath to swallow the nervous feeling suddenly growing inside him at the possible reaction from Taehyung; he doesn’t want to make it even more difficult for Taehyung, doesn’t want him to believe that Jeongguk wants something else by staying here. But he hopes he sounds, and looks sincere. Those eyes never lie. “I promise I won’t bother you,” he ends with a whisper.

It was late already when Jeongguk decided to come here, so it’s even later now as they sit on Taehyung’s couch, his tea halfway done and silence hanging over them for a few seconds before Taehyung sighs. 

“I have a guest room, there’s no need to sleep on the couch, let alone the floor. Not even my dog does that,” Taehyung says. “And… if you could ask your friend… I’d appreciate it. If you trust him, then I have no reason not to.” The unspoken I trust you brings a bit of light into Jeongguk’s chest. 

With a vigorous nod, he offers a gentle smile. “I’ll contact him today. Do you need—” he stops himself when their gazes meet again, swallowing his words, before he suggests instead, “You should head to bed, and try to rest.” There is nothing on his schedule, obviously, and Jeongguk believes that it won’t hurt to take the entire day to rest after what happened. Doesn’t believe the day should even go any other way. 

“Come with me, I’ll give you some sheets. I haven’t used that room in so long,” Taehyung tells him, leaving the mug on the table and stands up. His legs still don’t seem too stable, but Jeongguk sees him try to pretend it’s fine. “Do you need to wash up? You should—clean that,” he adds, looking at his hand again. “There’s some stuff in the bathroom, if you need.” 

Jeongguk glances at his own hand, almost forgetting that it had been slightly bleeding; and it isn’t that he is used to throwing punches at people—hell, this had been the first time in that situation—but having his knuckles bruised isn’t so uncommon after years of boxing, mostly for fun. It had definitely come in handy. 

Nodding at Taehyung’s suggestion, Jeongguk follows him. 

His eyes sweep the place at every step they take, and Jeongguk realizes that, as much as it is immense, the apartment also feels... impersonal, no matter how many years Taehyung has lived here. Strangely enough, it doesn’t seem like it is a home, as one would say, and perhaps it is solely due to the terrible things that have happened between those suffocating walls. 

A secret that didn’t leave this house. 

A secret that should have left. 

For Taehyung’s own safety. 

“Goodnight,” Jeongguk tells Taehyung once he enters his own bedroom. He tightens his arm around the folded sheets he has been given earlier, takes a step back and indicates the guest room where he’s about to head to. “Do not hesitate to call me if there is anything you need, I’m not a heavy sleeper,” he chuckles faintly. That is true, and it might also be reassuring for Taehyung since any kind of sound, including footsteps from the corridor, might wake Jeongguk before anyone gets anywhere near the keypad.

“Okay…” Taehyung mutters and bites his lower lip nervously, as if there’s something on the tip of his tongue dying to come out. But it never comes, so Jeongguk turns around to close the door. “Jeongguk?” And Jeongguk turns again to face him. “Please, don’t be like them,” it’s a whisper, fear pours out of his words and of his eyes. A plea that breaks Jeongguk’s heart into a million pieces.

“I won’t,” Jeongguk responds with sincerity, although the words seem to catch in his throat when he repeats them, “I won’t.” I am not them.  

I beg you, believe me.

Chapter Text

Jeongguk wasn’t lying when he affirmed being a light sleeper. 

The first sound that woke him up had been very faint, probably coming from the corridor, outside, because the moment he opens his eyes, it is silent again. He turns his head toward the night table, reaching for his phone. 6:04 a.m. He slept thirty minutes. Great. Better than nothing, he thinks. He slaps the phone back against the wooden surface, letting his head fall into the cushion. 

It’s only when he closes his eyes again that he hears another sound—this time, he understands what it is. Taehyung. Turning over to lie on his back, Jeongguk stares at the ceiling, focusing and listening. Another groan is heard, and it isn’t alarming, far from that—it simply sounds like he’s sleeping, and probably deep into a dream. So, Jeongguk lets his eyelids fall, his chest rise and drop slowly, trying to not let another thousand thoughts fill his mind and prevent him from joining Morpheus’ arms. 

But at the same time, the same images come back haunting him. That disturbing smile, that pet name thrown in between nonsense and vulgar remarks. The terror in Taehyung’s eyes, the tremors his body went through before his legs gave up. 

“Why do you think I’ve had so many bodyguards in such short time? They get what they want, and they leave.”

Jeongguk’s eyebrows crease, his fists tightening and his nails digging into his palms. He could have asked everything that went through his mind— how long has it been? how many were they? how far did they go? why did nobody do any damn thing to protect you?

However, he is no one to be fishing for bits and pieces of a past that is undeniably traumatizing, not when the simple thought of it makes Taehyung unable to even stand and talk properly. Not when the past has such a terrible effect on him. 

With a heavy sigh, Jeongguk reaches for his phone again and unlocks it to check if Namjoon has responded to his text. It was a simple one, where he explains he’s searching for a trustworthy locksmith to either replace a keypad or change its code, and he hasn’t forgotten to add that it is for a private matter. Namjoon should understand. The message, although distributed, hasn’t yet been read, and Jeongguk believes that Namjoon hasn’t yet opened his phone. It isn’t that they’re in such a hurry; after all, Jeongguk suggested staying for a reason. That would easily buy them a day or two, until—

“LET ME GO!” 

The piercing scream shatters the silence of the apartment.

Jeongguk’s heart drops to his feet and leaps back into his throat as he jumps out of the bed like an immediate and instinctive response, throwing the sheets along with his phone somewhere behind him. His vision is blurry from the rapidity with which he stood up, his heartbeat bursting into his eardrums when he hears Taehyung’s voice, Taehyung’s screams, Taehyung’s cries. It’s so desperate, so loud, and it sounds like he’s struggling to defend himself with how short his breathing is. 

Did someone enter? 

How the fuck did someone enter!? 

It’s only been thirty minutes; thirty fucking minutes, that man shouldn’t have come back. He shouldn’t have, Jeongguk has seen him leave, has seen the car drive away. He hasn’t heard a thing, hasn’t woken up from anything. And yet—

“P—Please, let me go! Don’t—touch me!”

Jeongguk almost misses breaking the door when he barges into the bedroom, his veins pulsing and burning inside, and when he’s about to rush to help Taehyung, his breath gets caught inside his throat. 

There is no one there.

No one other than Taehyung. Struggling in the nightmare he’s living through, pearls of sweat dribble down his temples, while his body thrashes around to try and escape whoever is trying to touch him. Although his eyes are closed, fear is written all over his face, his muscles tetanized—the sight catches Jeongguk off guard. 

It plants him on the spot.

But it only lasts a second or two, before Jeongguk climbs on the bed, not even thinking twice before he tugs the sheets over Taehyung’s body, and wraps him into a tight embrace that the latter doesn’t seem to want to accept yet. Not when the nightmare seems to feel so real for Taehyung. From where he lies behind Taehyung, Jeongguk tightens his embrace, hiding his face into the nape of Taehyung’s neck to try and breathe out warm air to appease him. His arms don’t come directly in contact with Taehyung’s body; the sheets in between—not because Jeongguk doesn’t want to touch him, but rather because he knows that this would create a more comforting warmth for Taehyung. One that would reassure him, even in his sleep, that he is safe. 

“I’m here,” Jeongguk tries to murmur calmly despite how loud his heart beats, how harshly Taehyung is thrashing in his arms, “hyung, it’s me. Jeongguk.” 

“Don’t—!”

“It’s me,” Jeongguk repeats, gently nosing Taehyung’s neck, and the touch seems to help too judging by how Taehyung’s body slowly stops moving to melt into Jeongguk’s arms—and that’s when the latter slowly pulls the sheets down, and reaches for Taehyung’s hand to hold it ever so softly. “I’m here with you. There is no one else. It’s just you and me.” 

Taehyung’s body stills, his chest rising and falling rapidly with the fear that provoked such a violent nightmare. From where he’s still holding him, Jeongguk can feel Taehyung’s heart beating at miles an hour against his chest. 

Thumb sliding over Taehyung’s hand, he soothingly caresses his skin, reassuring with whispers and comforting touches until Taehyung calms down. Until the nightmare ends, and finally disappears. 

“You’re safe,” is the last thing Jeongguk murmurs after long minutes, and when he hears Taehyung’s calm and steady breaths, he can’t help the smile of relief that makes its way to his lips. 

You’re safe with me, now, hyung.

— ✧ —

The first thing Taehyung does when he wakes up the next morning is look around in panic. The memory from his nightmare still too vivid in his mind. Because it was a nightmare, right? 

He takes his hands to his neck and shivers, the ghost of someone else’s touch still there after this long. 

But something happened within the dream, it was strange. Suddenly, before anything too bad happened, it all faded into a warm quietness, into a walk along the beach in solitude, relaxing and calm. 

You’re safe, a voice got through the fog of his brain in his dream. A voice that sounded an awful lot like Jeongguk’s, but Taehyung is certain that he is losing his mind at this point. 

Why would Jeongguk—

But then, he remembers. 

Remembers that last night wasn’t a nightmare, and that it actually happened. 

That Gyubin got into his house unannounced and drunk, calling him names and claiming Taehyung as if he were his. As if he’d ever been. And, for some reason, Jeongguk happened to be there with him and saw the whole thing. 

Taehyung can’t help the anxiety from rising up and clogging his throat until he’s unable to breathe properly, wishing that he was back in that beach from his dream, calm and relaxed, not panicking. 

But how could he not? 

He gets out of bed too quickly, wanting to go to the bathroom to throw some cold water on his face to see if it manages to calm him down, but when he tries to open the door, it hits something. 

Someone . 

“What the—” Taehyung starts, seeing Jeongguk curled up on the floor as if he’d been guarding the door all night. 

I’m here, hyung. I’m here with you. There is no one else. It’s just you and me. 

Did he not dream that? Did Jeongguk manage to pull him out of his nightmares without him knowing?

For some reason, the sight of him on the floor like that breaks his heart. He gave him a bed and nice sheets for him to sleep in, and he feels guilty that he probably woke him up with screams and worried him enough to sleep on the floor like this. 

It’s then that he also notices that the panic attack that had started to choke him up has died down at the sight of the younger.

So, Taehyung crouches down and brushes Jeongguk’s hair from off his face slightly and can’t help but smile. 

“Jeongguk?” he whispers, not wanting to startle him. 

Jeongguk mumbles incoherent words before his eyelids lift slowly at the name, still drowsy when his eyes travel up to meet Taehyung’s. “Hyung?” he calls in a soft voice, seemingly trying to understand if this is a dream or not. Sleepiness dissipates from his face when he gets it, and his eyes widen, clumsily pressing his hands against the ground to raise his upper body. “Hyung, you're awake? Are you alright? Did you sleep enough? Did you have another nightmare?” the words tumble so fast from his lips that he has to take a deep breath after all these questions.

And for some reason Taehyung doesn’t understand, he chuckles, incredibly endeared by the sight in front of him, by the worry in the younger’s eyes and tone. 

“I’m okay,” Taehyung says, still on the floor with him. “Are you? Why are you out here? You should’ve gone back to bed… I’m sorry I woke you,” he apologizes so easily, now. There’s no reason why he shouldn’t when the man has literally slept on the floor to make sure he was okay after a nightmare. 

Jeongguk seems to look for something in Taehyung’s eyes, staring until he breathes out a sigh of relief. “Don’t apologize,” he tells him as he sits up, “I thought—” he pauses for a moment as if he’s weighing the words on his tongue, before he explains, “I thought someone entered. You were telling them to let you go, and you seemed so afraid, I just couldn’t go back to sleep like that.” He looks sincere, and still visibly concerned. “Hyung, did—” he chews the inside of his cheek for a moment before asking hesitantly, “did they use to enter during the night?” 

And Taehyung sighs. He owes Jeongguk an explanation at this point. He’s been looking the other way and ignoring his inquiries ever since he started working for him, but after last night? Hiding things feels stupid now. Even if it will hurt him to talk about it, at least Jeongguk won’t be left in the dark anymore. 

“Yeah,” he sighs, sitting fully on the floor now. It’s funny how he lives in one of the most luxurious flats in the city with expensive furniture and they’re sitting on the floor. For some reason, Taehyung likes it better. “It was as if anything was allowed once schedules were over. Yeontan used to warn me, though, but it’s not like he could stop them when they closed the bedroom door behind them.” He bites his lower lip and hugs his knees as if he could become smaller. Or, rather, as if he already was, because that's how they made him feel. “Not all of them were like that, though. But after the first one, I guess word spread among them, and—“ he gulps and looks away from Jeongguk’s worried eyes. “I still feel their touch on me, their voices haunt me, too… that’s why I barely sleep most nights, and the nights that I can, nightmares are a constant. I’m sorry you had to see that—all of that.” 

With a shake of his head, Jeongguk reaches out slowly to caress Taehyung's arms after a silent request with a single glance, his fingers gentle and soft. “You shouldn't apologize, hyung. What you went through should have never happened in the first place. This must have been—” he swallows thickly when he ends with, “—terrifying.” And he tries to reach for Taehyung's hands, wrapping his fingers around in a comforting and warm hold before he says, almost in a whisper, “There must be a way to get justice.”

And, for some reason, Taehyung doesn’t mind his touch as much as he thought he would. Maybe it’s because he’s so careful around him, in the way he approaches Taehyung. And, now that he knows a bit of what happened, he assumes he’ll be even more careful. But Taehyung doesn’t pull away from his touch, now. He welcomes it. 

“I gave up on that a long time ago,” he admits, a bit defeated. “It’s useless to hope for things to get better when they haven’t for so long. So, for now, let’s just try to get my code changed. I think that might fix many of my problems and, who knows, maybe I’ll be able to sleep better at night knowing that no one can come in unannounced,” his smile is sad but he doesn’t try to pretend otherwise. He’s tired, he’s scared, and he is sad. There’s no reason why he should keep the front up with Jeongguk anymore, not after everything he saw. “Did your friend get back to you about that?” 

Jeongguk stares for a moment, and he always seems to careful about anything, including the reassuring looks he gives. “Yes,” he nods, “the locksmith will come by four, if we don’t tell them otherwise. And,” he offers a smile when he explains, “you’ll be able to put your own code without anyone, not even the locksmith, knowing it.” That manages to ease the heavy weight on Taehyung’s heart, knowing that he’ll finally have a code that only he and the people he decides will know. It feels like the beginning of something good, he thinks. 

Confusion is still apparent in Jeongguk’s eyes, though, and he seems to want to ask another question, but the sound of his stomach grumbling cuts him off, and urges him to look up as he bites down a smile. 

“Should we make something for breakfast?” and he adds playfully, as if he’s been binge-watching Taehyung’s vlogs and knowing that he isn’t quite the chef , “I can teach you how to make sweet Korean pancakes without burning the kitchen.”

“Very funny,” Taehyung replies, unable to hold back a smile as he stands up from the floor and helps Jeongguk up as well. “But alright, let’s see how much of a teacher you are, Jeon.” 

Once they walk into the kitchen, Jeongguk looks around and suggests, “We can prepare all the ingredients we need into separate bowls. Where do you keep the sugar, salt, yeast, and flour?” While Taehyung reaches for the ingredients in the cabinet, Jeongguk seems to keep looking as if he’s dying to ask something, but it’s only when they both turn to each other that he wonders, “Do you often invite your friends here?” And it could be either because he’s never seen anyone in Taehyung’s videos appear at home, or because everything looks exactly in the same place—as if the kitchen hasn’t been used for a while.

“Is it sad if I admit that I don’t have that many?” Taehyung chuckles as he hands him the ingredients he asked for. “Not… actual friends, anyway. Plus, it never felt safe enough to bring anyone here…” he sighs and sits on top of the counter to watch Jeongguk cook. “Jimin and Yoongi hyung have come a few times, but it’s been a while. Plus we most of the time end up ordering in, too tired to cook,” he admits. “I’m surprised there are enough ingredients for it, actually.”

“Ah,” Jeongguk nods with a timid smile, as if he regrets having asked such a thing. He pours each of the ingredients into small bowls, measuring it with his eyes only—he must be used to either making Hotteok, or cooking in general. “I could teach you a meal or two,” he begins saying, although he refuses to meet Taehyung’s eyes, “cooking can be fun when you experiment with what you know. It also takes your mind off things you don’t want to keep dwelling on.” He takes the flour sack next to Taehyung, meeting his eyes when he tugs on each side to open it, “I’ve been cooking for as long as I can remember, so I do know the—” the sack of flour rips in his hand, and his reflex of catching it so it doesn’t completely fall makes the flour fly to Taehyung’s clothes and... face. 

Ah. 

Well. 

“—basics,” Jeongguk still finishes with wide eyes, blinking at how white Taehyung is, now, biting down a smile and taking a step back as if he’s ready to run away for the crime he just committed. 

Taehyung’s mouth hangs open in surprise as the flour sticks to his face and clothes, carefully removing it from around his eyes, keeping them on Jeongguk and his cheeky smile, as if he was a little kid who just did something naughty.

He certainly did. 

“I didn’t know this was part of the recipe, but I guess I need to learn fast.” And, before Jeongguk can react, Taehyung picks up a handful of the flour that landed on his lap and blows it at Jeongguk who takes a step back to cough out the bits that slipped past his parted lips.

Unlike the younger, he’s unable to hold back his laughter at the sight. 

Jeongguk scoops out half of what remains in the sack to throw it at Taehyung in return, running to the side of the kitchen island the moment Taehyung comes down from the counter, as if that would protect him. “Don’t worry hyung, even covered in flour you’re still as charming as ever,” he tells him playfully with a huge bunny smile, laughing at how funny Taehyung looks right now. Jeongguk shouldn’t be allowed to be so adorable when covered in flour, and yet.

“Hm, would you say I’m delicious?” Taehyung hums, as he stands on the other side of the counter, each of them on one side, and every time he teases Jeongguk that he’s going to move and get him, the younger almost runs. It’s hilarious. 

Looks like cooking can be fun after all. Or maybe it’s just the company that is. 

“Sweeter than any Hotteok I’ve ever made,” Jeongguk chuckles, before he dashes to the other side when Taehyung runs to him, their laughs filling the kitchen. The moment Taehyung succeeds in catching the bag in his hands, he tugs on it, accidentally dropping the rest of the flour to the ground. “Be caref—!” he barely has the time to warn before Taehyung slips on it, and Jeongguk is quick to catch him with an arm around his waist, falling back against the counter with a gasp—but Taehyung isn’t sure if that is because of the painful impact of Jeongguk’s lower back against the counter or... the proximity between them. “Are you alright, hyung?” Jeongguk, sweet as always, has the need to ask, and it’s barely above a whisper, but from this close it sounds like a battle cry in Taehyung’s ears. 

And, when Taehyung nods, hands on Jeongguk’s chest to make sure he’s safe and not fallen on the floor, their noses brush without him meaning to, and every inch of his body reacts to the touch.

There are alarms going off in Taehyung’s brain, a million warnings that he should probably listen to, considering. Because he’s doing it again, it’s happening again, but… for some reason, it’s different. 

Jeongguk is different. 

Taehyung’s eyes unwillingly travel down to Jeongguk’s lips and he wants to lick his own, he wants to break the distance and taste the flour on the younger, even if it will not be the greatest taste; he doesn’t care. 

He doesn’t seem to care about much right now. 

He parts his lips and is about to say something when Taehyung hears the door, and his head snaps there, in terror. 

The moment shatters as easily as the flour bag ripped in Jeongguk’s hands. 

But, what seems to calm him, is the loud familiar bark from Yeontan. 

He forgot his sister said she’d bring him back today. 

“Oppa?” He hears from the entrance. “Are you home?” But Taehyung looks at Jeongguk and tells him to keep quiet. “Sorry, Tannie, I gotta go to class, you behave until papa comes back, okay?” His sister tells Tan, who clearly knows that they’re there by the way he’s barking and rushing to get to the kitchen. 

When the door closes again, Taehyung feels like he can breathe again. 

Thank God his face is still full of flour, because that way the blush that burns on his cheeks isn’t noticeable. 

— ♤ —

It’s the door that pulls Jeongguk out of the insane train of thoughts running in circles inside his head, and makes him realize just how loud his heart is beating against his ribcage, as if it wants to desperately escape it. 

It all happened so fast. 

And Jeongguk had ignored the way his heart had skipped a beat the moment he heard the first genuine laugh escape Taehyung’s lips. It had planted him on the spot for a second or two, his entire body unresponsive before Taehyung had thrown the flour back at him in a playful manner. And it was so, so easy to fall into the play, to start running away the moment Taehyung began to chase him. Jeongguk couldn’t even care less about the mess they’d done, his eyes on Taehyung and Taehyung only. His ears burning with each and every beautiful sound that escaped his lips.

Until they found themselves locked, faces so close to each other they could feel each other’s breath against their skin. Their bodies were pressed against each other’s, and Jeongguk had used his arm around Taehyung’s waist to pull him even closer, subtly, as if it wasn’t enough. And he almost felt guilty for wanting to lean in, for wanting their lips to touch, for wanting to kiss him. 

It seemed to last more than a few seconds, with the way his eyes lingered on Taehyung’s lips, trailed up to look at the mole on his upper lip, the one on the tip of his nose, the one on his waterline. Jeongguk didn’t pull apart when their noses brushed, and he even dared closing his eyes, lean just slightly—

before a female voice called out for Taehyung.

Fuck. 

Jeongguk’s arm immediately dropped, his Adam apple bobbing when Taehyung requested for him to stay quiet, staring into Taehyung’s eyes as they waited.

Waited.

And waited.

Once the door closed, Taehyung pulled away, and it felt as if something ripped inside Jeongguk’s chest. Inside his ribcage. He couldn’t help the embarrassed cough he forced out, his eyes traveling up.

And here they are; avoiding each other’s gazes as if something terrible happened. Jeongguk hates himself for the disappointment he feels at the pit of his stomach, burying it deep, deep and deeper. He shouldn’t allow these feelings to come up. He shouldn’t. Taehyung isn’t just anybody, he’s the one he should protect, he’s his superior. He shouldn’t get confused about their relationship.

He shouldn’t get too involved. 

“I’m going to shower,” Taehyung informs after greeting his confused dog that kept barking as if the flour suddenly turned the both of them into different people. Jeongguk only nods at that, reaching for the nape of his neck to nervously rub the skin, and looks around when he’s left alone.

“What am I doing,” he mumbles to himself, hiding his face into his hands. Namjoon had warned him, had told him to stop it before it was too late, and once again, Jeongguk didn’t listen. Sighing heavily, he decides to chase those thoughts away by picking up a kitchen towel, wetting it, and start cleaning the mess they’ve made. 

What still fills his mind, though, is the constant worry about Taehyung's thoughts. Did Jeongguk go too far? Did Taehyung misinterpret that? Did he get scared? 

He doesn’t even realize that a few minutes passed before he puts the towel back into the sink, and sees Yeontan lying on the couch when he walks into the living room. Staring at him, as if he did something unforgivable. 

“I didn’t do anything,” Jeongguk defends himself against the dog’s angry eyebrows. “I told you, I’m here to protect your dad, nothing more, nothing less.” Yeontan tilts his head to the side as if he’s trying to understand, and Jeongguk can’t help but sigh heavily, in despair. “I fucked up, didn’t I?” he mumbles to himself.

Taehyung comes out of the shower after what feels like an eternity to Jeongguk, or maybe it’s just that he’s been too in his head and time doesn’t even feel real anymore, but when the older boy appears behind him, he gets startled.

“I—I left fresh towels and some clothes for you in the bathroom, so you can wash up too, if you want.”

Jeongguk is quick to nod, hoping that Taehyung didn’t hear a word of what he said—he wouldn’t know how to even explain himself, if that would be the case. He offers a faint smile and a bow, his eyes barely meeting Taehyung’s, “Thank you, I’ll be quick.” And he almost dashes to the bathroom.

Rare are the times he feels this shy to meet anyone’s gaze, and yet it is hard for him to look back into Taehyung’s eyes. Even when he slips into the shower, he can still hear his heartbeat loud into his eardrums, and warmth pooling at the pit of his stomach. 

He thinks. Thinks, thinks, and thinks about it. 

“Please, don’t be like them,” Taehyung’s voice echoes in his head, and uneasiness suddenly tightens his throat. He isn’t like any of them, he isn’t, and yet why does he fear that he’d go too far? Why does he feel like he’s already gone too far?

Trying to chase away those thoughts crowding his mind, Jeongguk takes his time drying himself up, breathing in and out slowly. Just like he demonstrated to Taehyung.

But then, an unknown voice is heard inside the apartment.

Wait. What? 

It’s a man’s voice, but from where Jeongguk is, he can’t hear a thing about what they’re saying. He can’t hear Taehyung, though, and the crazy scenarios start to run through Jeongguk’s head, the memory of last night still vivid. He doesn’t wait any longer, wraps the towel around his naked waist to at least hide his private parts, and barges outside.

“Hyung, are you alr—!?” 

Jeongguk’s heart drops to his feet.

Three pairs of curious eyes turn to him and to his naked body barely covered. His panicked face turns into a confused, and then, an embarrassed one. A nervous laugh falls from his lips.

“Hyung, uh?” Namjoon, who’s standing there next to who Jeongguk believes is the locksmith, echoes as his gaze travels from Jeongguk’s head to his toes as if scanning him, and definitely not trying to judge Jeongguk for being casually naked in his superior’s apartment. And calling him hyung.

Jeongguk can hear Namjoon’s voice in his head, as if they’re just talking through telepathy and knowing eyes, 

‘You got involved, didn’t you?’ 

‘Keep quiet,’ Jeongguk responds silently with a raise of his eyebrows.

“Your friend is here,” Taehyung lets him know, then, as if it wasn’t obvious, but Jeongguk can’t help but notice the way he’s looking at him. He thinks the blush covering his cheeks might be out of embarrassment rather than something else, even if he’d like to believe otherwise. 

“I thought someone else—” Jeongguk begins to say, forcing a cough out before he says too much, and smiles faintly. He mentions the keypad. “Do you know how to change it?” he tries to be as casual as he can, pushing his wet hair back as the water keeps dribbling down his chest. 

“Minho is explaining how it works, and how Taehyung-ssi can change it on his own in the future, too,” Namjoon deadpans, crossing his arms before he adds with a tilt of his head, seemingly trying to understand the situation, “I think you should go and get changed. You know he’s safe with us.”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes at that as if Namjoon is exaggerating, although... he isn’t. After all, Jeongguk is the one who ran practically naked to protect Taehyung from whatever threat he thought would be at the door. What an idiot. 

“Call me if you need anything,” Jeongguk whispers when he shifts slightly closer to Taehyung, this time meeting his eyes to search for any discomfort—but he doesn’t find any. He does find something else, but he can’t quite put his finger on. Perhaps it is related to how flushed Taehyung’s face is. “I’ll be back in a minute.” 

Taehyung just nods and Jeongguk hears the conversation resume between Namjoon, this Minho guy and Taehyung. He even thinks he hears a light chuckle from Taehyung before he disappears back inside the bathroom. It puts his heart at ease a little bit, especially since he’s started to be able to tell them apart, now, and that one sounded genuine. 

Not quite as real as the ones he dedicated to Jeongguk about an hour ago, but close enough. 

Jeongguk hastily dries himself, puts on the clothes Taehyung prepared for him and picks up his own, folded ones under his arm before he joins them. He doesn’t forget to wave a small goodbye to Yeontan on his way to the door. 

“This way, you won’t need anyone else to change or deactivate the code if you wish to modify it again, but if you happen to have a question, you can contact me or Namjoon and I’ll be able to help you through a call,” Minho ends up offering as they get ready to leave.

“Thank you so much, really.” Honesty drips through Taehyung’s words before he bows and shakes Minho’s hand. If only they knew what this meant to him the way Jeongguk does.

“You ready?” Namjoon asks a rhetorical question, eyebrows raising. Jeongguk knows that this is simply a way to tell him that they should go. Together. 

With a nod, Jeongguk glances quickly at Taehyung, offering a gentle but shy smile, as well as a polite, formal bow. Too formal. “I’ll be going now that everything is sorted out,” he takes a deep breath, as if it hurt him to be acting like this after what happened. When he straightens up, he tries to not drown in Taehyung’s eyes, and hurries outside after Namjoon and Minho. “If you need anything, you know how to reach  me.” It is only when his friend and the other man are walking towards the elevator that he adds with kind, but sad eyes, “I hope you can sleep better tonight.” 

“Thank you,” Taehyung tells him before he closes the door, a small smile tugging at the sides of his lips. “For everything.” Taehyung is holding Yeontan now so that the dog doesn’t run away with Jeongguk, and the sight of the both of them at the door makes him melt a little.

“Jeongguk-ah!” Namjoon calls as if he’s been waiting for hours and that urges Jeongguk to offer a last, gentle bow of his head and run to join Namjoon and Minho inside the elevator. 

Once the doors close, Jeongguk breathes out heavily as if he’s been holding his breath for as long as he can remember. However, no words are exchanged between them before they arrive by the gates, and bid goodbye to Minho. 

“You came with Minho?” Jeongguk asks as they walk toward his car, ignoring the persistent eyes from Namjoon that certainly do not leave him, “I’ll drive you home.”

“Jeongguk.”

“Do you want to go to the office? It’s late though, isn’t it?” he keeps questioning him, and he is about to enter the car on the driver’s side before Namjoon catches the hem of his shirt.

“Jeongguk-ah,” he calls again, and when Jeongguk turns to look at him, he sees confusion written all over Namjoon’s face, and furrowed brows. “What just happened?” 

“What?” he feigns ignorance, “I called you for help, you came with help, that’s it. I told you it was private, we shouldn’t be talking about this here.” 

“I’m not talking about that, I—” Namjoon lets go of Jeongguk’s—or rather, Taehyung’s—cloth, sighing. And it is not that Jeongguk has absolutely no idea of what Namjoon is talking about, but rather that he doesn’t necessarily feel like speaking about it. “What is going on between you two? Isn’t he your boss? Why were you naked in his own apartment and why are you wearing his clothes now?” 

Jeongguk’s face flushes a little. He clears his throat, looking around as if to check that nobody is listening to them. “There’s nothing between us,” he begins to defend himself, “I was just there in case—” of what, exactly? He can’t just blurt out any lie, nor can he tell the truth. Thankfully for him, though, Namjoon isn’t the kind of guy to want every explanation—in short, he is worried about his friend’s heart. As simple as that. “There’s nothing,” he repeats, “I swear.”

“That’s not what your eyes tell.”

Jeongguk chokes on his own saliva. “My eyes?” 

A shrug. “You have the eyes of someone who found the kind of love you’ve been searching for.”

Jeongguk laughs nervously. “You sure know how to tell a joke.”

“I’m not joking, I’m worried.” And he does sound sincere. Which, in all honestly, is funny because—why would someone be worried about their friend falling into a new type of love? “You work for him. You’ve been hired by his company. And from what you told me, this shady company doesn’t seem to want that anything happens out of their own control. In short, you’re putting yourself in a dangerous position, and you know that.” Well, here’s the response. 

“I’m,” Jeongguk inhales deeply, reassuring, “fine. I’m fine, really.”

“I told you not to get involved like this.”

And he wasn’t intending to. But things happen and... those eyes, those lips, that laugh weren’t supposed to make his heart tighten like that. “Nothing is going to happen, hyung, I promise. Do not worry about that.”

“I’ll keep worrying if I find you again in this kind of situation. You truly are careless, aren’t you?”

Jeongguk chuckles faintly at that before they enter the car. He convinces himself once again that his and Taehyung’s relationship will stay professional, and nothing else. To Jeongguk, Taehyung is no more than his superior. To Taehyung, Jeongguk is no more than his bodyguard.

Right? 

— ✧ —

Taehyung lets out the loudest sigh of his life once the door closes after Jeongguk, his friend Namjoon and the locksmith they brought to help him leave. Not just out of utter relief to know that his apartment is finally his own to access and nobody else's unless he chooses to, but also because if he spent another second near Jeongguk, he felt like he was going to combust. 

Especially after he came out of the shower shirtless like that. 

Who the fuck looks like that? 

He’s still trying to erase the memory of his muscles and his full-sleeve of tattoos off his brain, but it’s a lost cause; and the more he tries, the more he remembers it and—yeah, he’s going to die. 

Yeontan seems to be judging him; has been doing so ever since his sister brought him back home and they pretended that they weren’t there.

To be fair, that would’ve required lots of explanation and Eunjin needed to get to class so, really, he was just looking out for his beloved sister’s education. 

And his own self-preservation. 

He can’t stop thinking about what would’ve happened if she hadn’t shown up. Would he have closed the distance between them and tasted his lips? 

Would Jeongguk? 

Everything felt really awkward between them after that, as if they were both either regretting it or too caught up in their own heads to dare to look the other in the eye. Taehyung wonders if maybe he took it too far, even if nothing really happened. Even if it was an accident in the first place. 

But the truth is that he’s been in this situation before, or similar, and history repeating itself is not something that Taehyung is very fond of. 

And he doesn’t want to fuck this one up. 

Because, although physical attraction has been a common denominator in the other cases, something about Jeongguk goes beyond that, beyond surface limits. 

Yeontan barks then, as if he could tell Taehyung’s brain was diving into dangerous waters, and he sighs, understanding the message. 

“Yeah, yeah, you’re right, I need an intervention,” he sighs and takes out his phone for the first time in what feels like ages. He’s been neglecting it for the most part, considering, but he isn’t surprised when his first chat is Jimin’s. 

So he texts him “CODE RED” and he knows that his best friend will get the message. 

In a few minutes, there’s a knock on the door and a very out-of-breath Jimin waiting for him at the other side. 

“What happened?! Are you alright?!” Jimin almost screams still trying to catch his breath after Taehyung has allowed him in. 

“Are you busy today?” Taehyung asks, walking to the living room. The calmness in his voice seems to take his friend by surprise because he stops in his tracks. 

“Tae, baby, my angel, my love,” Jimin starts. “You said ‘code red’, I thought someone had died!” Jimin shakes him, raising his voice. 

Fine, he might’ve been a bit dramatic in the text, but Taehyung really needed his friend to come.

“I might be dying, how can you know I’m not?” Taehyung asks after his friend has stopped shaking him as if he were a branch being bent by the wind. Jimin just glares at him. “I just needed you to come.” 

“You could’ve spared me the heart attack, though!” And Jimin sits on the couch, picking Yeontan up straight away and enjoying the kisses the puppy gives him. He’s one of the few people Yeontan actually trusts. 

It seems like Jeongguk is slowly becoming another one, since he hardly ever barks at him anymore. 

Stop thinking about him. 

“What did you need me for?” Jimin asks after Taehyung has stalled enough, offered him some drinks and snacks, asked him about his latest gigs, since, of course, none of the things that happened the night that they went out affected Jimin at all. He wasn’t the one in the spotlight, and his company dealt better with all of it. 

“Something happened last night,” Taehyung tells him, then. He has to look down, because the sheer memory of it makes him shiver, makes his mouth dry and his eyes well up in return. Jimin seems to get the message just by the change in Taehyung’s body language, and he draws closer, taking Taehyung’s hand. “Gyubin got into the apartment.” Jimin gasps, making Taehyung lift his eyes to meet his friend’s terrified gaze. He doesn’t blame him. 

“Did he—” 

“No,” Taehyung cuts him off before he can say anything else. “Thankfully, Jeongguk was here and—he kicked him out. Punched him, too, because I couldn’t even move…” 

“Oh, Tae, I’m so sorry.” And, without questioning anything, Jimin hugs him so tight that Taehyung almost breaks again. “Are you alright, then? What did you do? Did you call the cops?” But Taehyung laughs bitterly. It’s the usual response when something like that happens, but they both know that, even if he had, not much would’ve been done, anyway. 

“Jeongguk—he stayed the night. He slept in the guest room and called a friend of his so that I could change the code to my door. I finally have a new code that only I know for now,” he can’t help the smile that breaks out when he says that. He still can’t believe it. “And we—um.” 

“You what, Kim Taehyung?” The tone on his best friend’s voice tells Taehyung that he knows already. “Don’t tell me you k—” 

“We didn’t do anything,” Taehyung interrupts him. It’s true. That’s not the problem, though. 

“But you wanted to?” And Taehyung sighs at that. “Tae…” 

“I know! I know what you’re gonna say. It’s stupid, I’ve gone down this road before and it’s always ended up in abusive assholes sneaking into my apartment and—” but he can’t even bring himself to say the words out loud. They catch in his throat as if their grip was still there. “But he’s not like that, Jimin. I know I sound stupid and delusional, but nobody’s ever taken care of me like that. He slept on the floor outside my bedroom because I had a nightmare last night and wanted to make sure I was okay and nobody else got in. He picked me up that day when we were out even though it was late and I was drunk as fuck, he—”

“I wasn’t gonna say anything,” Jimin cuts him then. “I think you’re right, he is different. I doubt you remember because you were so fucking wasted, but that day when he came to get you, I was so reluctant to let him take you when he got there. For all I knew, he was another bodyguard, you know? But he… he seemed to care about you. And he even called me when he dropped you off and asked me if he could get you anything else to make sure you were alright and comfortable,” there’s a small smile on Jimin’s lips and just from hearing that, Taehyung can’t help his heart from reacting. “I just don’t want you to get hurt again, Tae.” 

And he knows. He doesn’t want to get hurt either, but for some reason, he doesn’t think falling into Jeongguk’s arms will harm him. 

“Then, what do I do?” Taehyung asks almost desperately. He needs his friend to tell him to drop his ideas, to not mix business with pleasure, to stick to their professional relationship. 

But, if he wanted to hear that, he would’ve called anyone but Jimin. Because Jimin knows not only what’s best for him but also what would make him happy. 

“Let your heart guide you, Taehyung-ah. For once, I don’t think it’s misplaced.” 

And Taehyung doesn’t think it is, either. 

Chapter Text

It’s finally the day: Taehyung is allowed to go outside and use his social media again. It’s been over two weeks since the incident and, although he has been productive and written more songs than he had in the past few months, he still missed going out, missed posting silly little stories on his Instagram… 

And he’s also been missing Jeongguk. 

They haven't seen each other ever since that day when Gyubin broke in; they’ve had no reason to, really, but Taehyung still wanted to contact him. 

After what happened, or almost happened, he felt a bit awkward and he just wanted to make sure that Jeongguk wasn’t feeling guilty or something, but he never got to check in on him. 

He’s excited to see him again today because he’s not going back to the company: he has an event—a public event. He’s not sure how it will go, but he got invited to a movie premiere and the company decided it was a good idea to reappear there, since not many people will expect it. 

Since he learned how to change the code to his door, he changes it again back to the one it was before so that when his staff members come with the hair and make-up crew, they don’t suspect anything. 

He’ll change it back later. 

It’s been such a relief to live like that, not worrying about who might or might not walk in unannounced. 

Mr. Yeo felt so apologetic about the whole thing that he even sent Taehyung a heartfelt handwritten apology after he learned what happened. 

He’s getting ready now, wondering when Jeongguk is going to come since there are other members of the security team there, but he’s nowhere to be found. He knows the rest as well since even if they’re not his personal bodyguards, he’s also had them around in times when he needed more than just one, like right now.

He wants to ask, but he barely gets the time, being rushed from one place to another inside his apartment: first, clothes fitting, then hair, then make-up, and then getting dressed for real once he’s all ready to make sure that the make-up and products don’t ruin the clothes. 

“Ready to go, Taehyung-ssi?” one of his managers asks from the door, holding it open. Taehyung just nods and imagines that Jeongguk must be waiting downstairs in the car to drive them there, but to his surprise, there’s someone else driving. Someone he’s never seen before. 

“Is this the car?” Taehyung asks when they slide the door open for him. “Where’s—” 

“Mr. Jeon won’t be joining us today. He’s requested the day off, so we brought someone else from the security team to cover for him,” he explains and his heart drops. 

Did he quit? Is it his fault? 

“Do you know why?” Taehyung inquires as he steps into the vehicle. The man shakes his head before he shuts the door, leaving Taehyung with nothing but his thoughts to consume him as the car starts moving toward the premiere. 

He decides to bite the bullet and send him a message, hoping that he will get a reply that might ease his sudden anxiety. Maybe he got sick, or maybe he was busy since the decision to go to the premiere was pretty last-minute. He shouldn’t jump into conclusions that fast, and yet, he is already free-falling. 

    to : Jeon Jeongguk — 7:39 p.m.
    Where are you? Are you okay?
    Why aren’t you here? 

It only gets worse when he sees that the texts aren’t even getting delivered to Jeongguk. Either his phone is off or he blocked Taehyung. 

His breathing is starting to speed up and he unconsciously reaches for his pocket to get his vape, but Jeongguk’s voice echoes in his head, then. And the eyes with which he looked at him as he begged him not to do it. 

So he puts it back and closes his eyes trying not to think about the fact that he might’ve ruined everything without even knowing it. 

When they arrive at the event, it’s as crowded as Taehyung expected it to be, and the screams only get worse when he gets down from the car unannounced. He is quickly surrounded by suited-up men that protect him from the crowd, from the cameras that try to get a shot of him, and he tries to smile, and bow politely at the constant invasion of his privacy. After all, that’s his job. 

Nobody warned him that he’d have to do that, but apparently, he has to stand on the red carpet before entering the venue, and that’s always nerve-wracking. 

It’s not that he’s new to this, he’s done countless red carpets for award shows and stuff, but after everything that happened, he’s not sure what to expect. 

“Alright, your turn,” a girl with a set of headphones and a clipboard informs Taehyung, giving him a sign so that he can step in the middle of the whole thing, all the cameras pointed at him and the flashes so bright he feels a little bit dizzy. 

“Over here! Over here!” he keeps hearing, and he tries to look at every single one of the cameras, hands up in a kind of wave, and even changes poses a few times so that they get what they want. 

“Show us life-of-the-party-Taehyung!” Someone says, and Taehyung can’t help but frown. What’s that even supposed to mean? He shoots a glance at his team on the other side of the carpet, begging for them to drag him out, but they don’t. 

Of course, nobody gives a fuck about him and his comfort. 

“Is this not enough?” Taehyung chuckles, trying to appear teasing when in reality he wants to punch the lens until it shatters. “Am I not fun?” 

There are a few more clicks, a few more flashes, and then someone approaches him with a microphone. 

Oh, no. 

“Welcome to the premiere, Taehyung-ssi! We couldn’t believe it when we heard that you would be joining us today!” The woman smiles at him, and Taehyung bows slightly. 

“It is an honor to be here, thank you for having me,” he smiles back. His responses are automatic at this point in these kinds of things. 

“Of course, of course!” The woman nods. “We heard you are good friends with the main actor for the movie, are you excited to see him in this new role?” Taehyung bites a laugh, ‘good friends’ is a bit of a reach. They know each other, yes, but not much else. Still, he has a persona to keep and work to do.

“Very excited! I heard he’s amazing in this and I can’t wait.” He’s starting to feel a little bit cornered here, and he would very much like for the interview to be over, but he sees through the corner of his eye how the director behind the cameras insists that the woman ask more questions. 

“We are sure that you will enjoy it! You have been a bit out of reach for the past week or so, can we expect something big coming soon? Maybe an album?” The woman tries to fish for a spoiler, and Taehyung chuckles a little bit. He wishes he could say that it wasn’t a choice, but he can’t. 

“Maybe,” he hums, holding the microphone tightly because he just really needs to get out of there. “I can’t say much, though.” 

“Will we hear any songs about that special someone people keep talking about? We are sad that you didn’t bring her today.” And there it is. The bomb. 

The influx of flashes grows then, and Taehyung needs to control his expression not to give anything away or to throw the microphone at the woman.

“I guess you will have to wait and see when the album comes out,” is all he ends up saying but he’s sure the bitterness in his voice is obvious. “I should get going inside, but thank you again!” And, after cheering for the movie’s cast once more, he walks past as fast as he can with his managers. 

“What the fuck was that?! They still had to take more pictures, Taehyung—” one of them starts to reprimand him, but he’s done. He cuts him. 

“That’s what I want to know. How did you allow them to ask such questions when you know the rumors are a lie?!” Taehyung asks him, pissed. He doesn’t care if someone sees at this point. He’s tired. 

“But they keep your name in their mouths, that’s what we want,” he nonchalantly admits and Taehyung almost laughs. 

“Do any of you give a single fuck about what I want? Have you ever?! ” he screams, and he knows he should relax, this is not the time nor the place for this, but he can’t help it. 

And it only gets worse when someone screams from behind him. 

“Where’s the new bodyguard, Taehyung-ssi? Did he quit as well so soon?” one of the reporters says, camera in his hand ready to get a reaction from him. It was the last fucking drop.

“I’m going home,” Taehyung informs the manager, who doesn’t seem to agree. 

“No, you’re not.” And he puts his hands on Taehyung’s shoulders to get him to walk in the way of the theater for the movie. 

But, once they’re out of sight from the press, Taehyung rids himself of his hands and turns.

“I want to know where Jeongguk is,” he demands, but the man rolls his eyes as if he’s already tired of Taehyung. That makes two of them. 

“I told you, he asked for a day off. I don’t know where he—” 

“Then, I am going home. I’m not staying here without him.” And the security guards try to stop him when Taehyung heads past the door to the theater on his way out, but he doesn’t care. One single look their way is enough for them to leave him alone. He’s already made the public appearance, he couldn’t care less about the movie. 

He tries calling Jeongguk again, and texts him a few more times but nothing. 

He should’ve been there with him. None of this would’ve happened if he’d been here. He wouldn’t have allowed it to happen. 

But where the fuck is he? 

— ♤ —

Jeongguk wakes up with a ribcage too tight, too narrow for his painful lungs. It was to be expected; it’s been like that for years, on the exact same day. He thought today would be different. Perhaps the pain wouldn’t be as strong. Perhaps time had been helping him cope with the memory. But is still the same excruciating morning. 

Somehow in the back of his head, he wishes he could erase all the memories from his brain. But how could he? 

He was informed that today would be the first public appearance for Taehyung, after days hidden in his home, and he hesitated multiple times on whether he should call. But even a day before that, Jeongguk couldn’t find the strength to explain why would he need a day off. So he laid down. Thought. Thought, and thought it over again... and called the company directly.

He didn’t have it in himself to tell Taehyung about it. 

Everything will be alright, he tries to reassure himself when he turns off his phone completely and gets ready, Taehyung will be alright. It’s just a movie premiere, it shouldn’t last long, and shouldn’t have that many people. It should be okay. 

With a heavy sigh, he slips the phone inside his black pants before tucking his equally black shirt under it, completing the all-black look with a leather jacket. He catches the keys over the table and leaves his apartment with a heavy heart.

His mind is a mess. Like every year, on the same day.

The weather looks just as morose as him, the gray veil threatening over him, and very thin drops falling over his shoulders. It’s suffocating. As always. 

When he arrives at the location he planned on staying the entire day, he parks his car, takes a bag in one hand and a bouquet of flowers in another hand, and walks up to the open gates, and through the few blooming alleys formed by the decorated tombstones. 

He drags his feet as if his body is nothing more than a dead weight, and almost collapses in front of a very simple tombstone. Compared to all the others, this one doesn’t have one single flower, not one message, nor even a candle. It looks... so terribly miserable. 

“Good morning, Dad,” Jeongguk greets as he lays the bouquet over the soil, and starts taking the few objects he had in his plastic bag—a picture of teenager Jeongguk and his parents, a lucky charm, a candle, and his own badge from the company. “A lot changed in a year. I’m a bodyguard now, can you believe it?” a sad smile pulls the corners of his lips. 

Every year is the same tradition for him—visit his father’s grave, and spend the day with him. Talking about all that he missed about his son, and wishing that things happened differently. 

Time flies fast, although he spends almost twelve hours sitting there, speaking, faintly laughing, and crying. 

Time is not enough to speak his heart out. Or rather, time has stopped, and he is simply trying to gain it back. 

The sun, although hidden behind those threatening clouds the whole day, sets pretty fast. Jeongguk dries his tears when he sees people leaving the graveyard and decides to reach for his phone. He usually doesn't turn it on before the next morning, but a voice kept knocking against his skull, urging him to check the device. 

When he does, he has to stare at the messages he didn’t expect to receive. 

    from : Kim Taehyung — 7:39 p.m.
    Where are you? Are you okay?
    Why aren’t you here? 

Jeongguk has to swallow thickly at that. It’s been at least forty-five minutes now since Taehyung sent him those messages, and he certainly doesn’t know how nor if he should reply. 

“Should I tell him?” he asks, his eyes traveling to the candle he lit up hours ago. When he sees the flame tremble, he can’t help the nervous, faint chuckle that escapes his lips. 

He must look crazy, right now, thinking that his father sent him a message. 

With a deep intake of breath, he composes Taehyung’s number, and calls him with nervous, shaky lips, closing his eyes as if he’s bracing himself for Taehyung’s reaction. 

“Oh, look who finally has the decency to pick up the phone, ” Taehyung sounds… mad.

Jeongguk marks a short pause before he asks, almost too timidly—clearly not in his usual self, “Did something happen, hyung?” Taehyung’s chuckle is cold. 

“Maybe if you’d been here, you’d know,” he tells him. “Where even are you? Did you leave the country or what? What’s so important that you had to take a day off today?”  

Something really did happen. Jeongguk takes another moment to answer, breathing in and out slowly before he says, “I’m with my father. I’m going to stay there until the closing hour.” He still doesn’t think he’s ready to explain it all, not through the phone at least, and he isn’t sure that Taehyung even understood what he meant by that, but he feels the need to add in a gentle voice, “I’ll send you the location if you want to come.” After all, he did talk to his father about Taehyung today, so it wouldn’t feel misplaced. 

“Fine, I wanna talk to you anyway,” Taehyung tells him before he hangs up. 

Jeongguk can’t help but breathe out an amused sigh before he sends Taehyung the location, and puts his phone down. “He can have a bit of a temper, but I can assure you that he’s a good person,” he murmurs with a smile. 

I promise you, Dad.

He doesn’t know how much time passes since he sent Taehyung his location, and he isn’t even sure that the latter would come. Perhaps he would be waiting for the gates to close before they can talk, Jeongguk isn’t quite sure. 

However, when the cold starts to chew on his skin, the weather suddenly dropping, and he can hear footsteps approaching, and a familiar voice calling.

“Jeongguk?” his voice is barely above a whisper, but Jeongguk would recognize him anywhere. 

Turning his head to meet Taehyung’s eyes, Jeongguk feels a mixture of overwhelming emotions coiling up in the pit of his stomach. He breaks into a relieved smile and breathes out as if he’s been holding his breath the whole, entire day. “Sorry for calling this late,” he tells, turning his attention back to the tombstone Taehyung is looking at. 

    Jeon Deokguk
    1966 - 2015 

“I know this isn’t the best place to talk, either,” Jeongguk adds to avoid an awkward silence to settle between them, gesturing for Taehyung to take a place next to him, “but I would have felt guilty for not saying anything before tomorrow morning.”

“I—” Taehyung starts speaking, but it’s as if words suddenly failed him. “I’m so sorry, Jeongguk, I didn’t know—” he’s still standing over the both of them, probably still in the clothes he wore in the premiere. Bitterly, Jeongguk thinks that he fits the mood, since he’s in a black suit, too. 

“You couldn’t know, I didn’t tell anyone, not even the company.” Jeongguk reaches for the hem of Taehyung’s jacket, gently pulling on it to urge him to sit. “Tell me what happened.”

“You could’ve still told me, though. I feel bad being here, you should—” Taehyung gulps and looks back at the grave in front of them, completely ignoring Jeongguk’s request. “I’m sorry I came…” 

“Stop apologizing, you’re making me look bad in front of my dad,” Jeongguk tells with a faint, amused chuckle, pulling on the cloth again. “I wouldn’t have sent you the location if I didn’t want you here. Can you sit next to me, hyung?” 

And, after a few seconds of silence, Taehyung nods and kneels next to him, offering a full bow to Jeongguk’s father that manages to create a knot in his throat. 

“Hello, Sir,” Taehyung politely says. “My name is Kim Taehyung, I am—” and he turns to look at Jeongguk then, still speechless. “Your son’s friend. I hope you two had a good day together,” he smiles and reaches out to pick up the picture Jeongguk brought earlier and the flowers. “These are lovely, too.” 

Jeongguk’s lungs seem to tighten again, painful inside his ribcage. He has to blink a couple of times to prevent the tears he felt starting to brim his eyes from falling, pressing his lips into a thin line. He breathes in, and out, the wind growing louder but still not enough to make the candle die down.

It’s only after a short moment of silence that he speaks again, “I come here every year, and spend the day with him. This year, I couldn’t do it differently... I’m sorry, I could have told you, I could have sent you a message, but—”

“Hey,” Taehyung reaches out for his hand this time, and it’s such a soft touch. “Don’t be, I get it. You’re such a great son and I’m sure he’s so proud to see the person you’ve grown up to be,” his smile is genuine but Jeongguk feels like crying again. “I just—I’m sorry I got mad at you earlier.” 

With a shake of his head, Jeongguk gently tightens his hold around Taehyung’s hand, a reassuring gesture along with, “I told you, stop apologizing. You couldn’t know.” He offers a faint smile, the warm touch appeasing him. Although he glances just a second at Taehyung, he can’t seem to hold his gaze and immediately looks back at the tombstone. Inhaling deeply, before he begins to explain, “You know, the last thing he requested for us was to open the windows,” he swallows thickly, talking even more quietly when he resumes saying, “but that was already the case. Everything was open. He was suffocating, and yet it wasn't because the room lacked oxygen. It’s—” like he needs to make sure Taehyung won’t leave, his fingers tighten around Taehyung’s, and bring his hand to his lap. “I keep hearing those words every time I see anyone start smoking. I just—I can't help it. It makes me think of him.” 

It seems to sink into Taehyung’s brain, then. His eyes open wide as he looks back and forth between the two Jeons. And Jeongguk can see how he almost apologizes again, but he doesn’t. Instead, he runs his thumb across Jeongguk’s knuckles softly and comfortingly. 

“They healed well,” he keeps his eyes down. “I’m sure all your other scars will, too.” When their eyes meet, Taehyung offers him probably the most sincere smile Jeongguk has ever received from him, and it feels so comforting. A tear escapes from the corner of Jeongguk's eye, although this time he doesn't do anything to hide it. 

It's too much. It hurts, but it also feels so warm and comforting to know that Taehyung is there. And he hates himself for wanting this moment to last, for this moment to never come to an end... because it feels just like he had found the comfort he had been searching for.

“Thank you,” Jeongguk whispers with honesty, his heart loud in his throat, “thank you for being here with me. I don't know how I would have left this place if you didn't come. Probably looking miserable,” he jokes as he forces out a chuckle. 

“Thank you for trusting me enough to bring me here and tell me about this. And please know that no matter what schedule I might have next year, you don’t even need to ask for the day off,” he lets out a light chuckle, probably trying to lighten the mood, but with his other hand, Taehyung reaches out and wipes the tear off Jeongguk’s cheek. “Feel free to cry, too, I won’t judge, I promise,” he whispers. 

“Don't tell me that, I cried enough for today. I don’t need to cry again,” Jeongguk chuckles as he playfully slaps Taehyung's arm as if to tell him to stop joking around. However, as the silence slowly settles between the two of them, and their eyes meet again, Jeongguk feels his own body crumble at the heavy weight on his shoulders. I already cried enough, he thinks to himself, I can't just break again in front of him. And yet... 

Those eyes, kind and sincere, looking right into his were enough to make Jeongguk break. Without thinking twice, he shifts closer to Taehyung, instinctively hiding his face into the crook of Taehyung's neck before he lets all those overwhelming emotions flow out, the tremors racking his body telling of how hard this day has been to him. Of how hard the grief process has been for him.

And how easy it is for him to find comfort in Taehyung's arms.

“I got you,” Taehyung whispers, holding him close and letting him cry it all out. It’s as if the roles reversed, somehow. “I got you, Guk,” he repeats as if to make sure that Jeongguk believes his words. Their hands are still tangled together, Jeongguk notices. 

And it looks like neither of them wants to be the first to break that.  

— ✧ —

On his way there, Taehyung thought of many things: he even had an entire speech prepared for when he saw Jeongguk, not caring that his father would be there with him. 

However, every single thought he had and all his words died on his tongue the second he stepped down from the cab that brought him here and he saw where he was standing. 

How didn’t he notice when Jeongguk sent him the location? Why didn’t he even check? He’s not sure. He was too upset, too eager to get away from that place before anyone from his team found him, so he just went. 

And ended up in a cemetery. 

Finding Jeongguk had been hard because it was like a maze of tombstones with unknown names filled with flowers, some drier than others, but eventually, he saw him. Saw a familiar figure sitting on the floor right before a grave, the darkness of the night making it hard for him to see much, but it’s funny how Taehyung felt like he could recognize Jeongguk anywhere. 

As hard as it had been to find him, it was even harder for Taehyung to see him like that. 

He’s no stranger to loss, but suddenly, as he stood there for a few seconds reading the name on the stoned plaque, every single one of his worries, every single one of the stupid things that had bothered him fly away with the wind. 

It all feels so… insignificant. 

The paparazzi, the reporters, the rumors, the media… none of it means anything. 

When he called his name, Jeongguk turned and Taehyung’s heart broke. 

It was so hard to see him like that, it was even harder knowing he’d been blaming him all day for not being there with Taehyung when he was somewhere infinitely more important. 

The dates written on the stone show that it’s been a few years since his father passed, but Taehyung couldn’t even blame him when the boy broke in his arms. 

It took the sky to open up and start raining for them to decide it was time to go home. Taehyung offered to drive for once, but Jeongguk refused.

The drive was quiet, but it wasn’t a bad quiet. Taehyung had a lot of things he wanted to say: I missed you, I thought you got mad at me, I thought you hated me, I thought you quit because of me, but he knew it wasn’t the time nor the place for them. 

He liked that, for once, Jeongguk wasn’t just his driver. He wasn’t sitting in the backseat, he was sitting next to him and his hand ached to reach out and hold Jeongguk’s again. 

Once Jeongguk drops him off, Taehyung wonders about what to say, because he needs to say something. 

“Let me know when you get home, alright?” Taehyung smiles a bit. He would like to invite him back upstairs for some tea, the same way Jeongguk comforted him the other night. But he knows that all Jeongguk probably wants is to go home, so he doesn’t. “And… if you see anything about the premiere, don’t worry, alright? It doesn’t matter.” 

Jeongguk nods at that, a grateful smile playing on his lips. Although no more tears remain on his face, his eyes are swollen and slightly red, and he does definitely look like he needs a full night of rest, which is no surprise after today. “Thank you, hyung. For coming, and staying.” He seems to want to say something but he doesn't, so Taehyung gets ready to bid him goodbye and enter the building. But before he can take another step, Jeongguk speaks, almost in a whisper, “I wanted to be there with you, too.” 

Taehyung can’t say me too because what he actually thinks when he hears that is that Jeongguk was on his mind the entire time.

After his last words, Jeongguk offers a last, gentle, and tired smile before he opens the door to his car again, waves a last goodbye and Taehyung watches him enter to drive away. 

He stays there for a while, as if going back home felt wrong for some reason, but eventually he does before he gets soaked under the rain. Mr. Yeo is still there surprisingly to welcome him.

“Good evening, Mr. Kim,” he bows slightly, and Taehyung bows back.

“It’s so late, Sir! Why are you still here? You should head home,” Taehyung worriedly asks.

“I was about to leave, I just wanted to wait until you returned first,” the man informs him. “Was that Jeongguk-ssi I saw? He hasn’t been here in a while.” At the mere mention of his name, Taehyung can’t help but smile a little.

“Yeah, it was,” is all Taehyung manages to say before he registers the doorman’s words. “Wait… did someone come while I was gone?” he asks, scared of the answer. He didn’t manage to change back the code after they left, and he knows that his superiors might be pissed that he ran off today like that. 

“No, Sir, I made sure of it. But I just wanted to wait, just in case.” This man is such a blessing to Taehyung that he feels like, if he ever were to move away from this place, he’d have to take him with him wherever he went.

“Thank you so much.” And Taehyung wants to hug him. He doesn’t but he bends his back in a 90° bow to show his appreciation.

“No need, this is my job. Now, go and take a warm shower, you’ll get sick if you don’t,” the man smiles at him as he walks to press the elevator button for Taehyung. 

“Good night, Mr. Yeo,” he mutters before the doors close and the elevator starts going up. 

The first thing he does after opening the door is to change back the code. The second is to hold his dog and to kiss his furry head. Yeontan seems happy to see him, too. Taehyung puts him down and heads to the bathroom to start the water. The outfit and the makeup that was planned for him to wear today are ruined by the rain and by the dirt on the cemetery, but he couldn’t care less. 

Jeongguk’s voice carried such honesty when he thanked him for being there with him that he would’ve done anything. 

It’s scary, this feeling, but Taehyung is trying not to think about it too much and just go with the flow, to just let his heart guide him as Jimin told him.

It’s after he’s showered and warmed up that he checks his phone and sees that, along with the hundreds of notifications on his phone from social media and messages from his managers, Jeongguk just texted him.

   from : Jeon Jeongguk — 11:45 p.m.
  I just came home.
  Thank you for today.
  If you weren't there, I'd have probably stayed under the rain until I caught a cold. ㅋㅋㅋ

Taehyung smiles looking at the screen and debates whether he should write something back or not, but the bubble keeps appearing under Jeongguk’s texts, meaning he’s writing and deleting messages, so he waits. 

And waits.

And has enough time to get dressed and put himself to bed before Jeongguk writes again.

   from : Jeon Jeongguk — 11:56 p.m.
  Oh, hyung?
  My dad would have loved you.
  Thank you for introducing yourself to him.
  You don't know how much it means to me.

Taehyung’s heart shatters when he reads that, and he finally allows himself to cry. He’d been so close as he held Jeongguk in the cemetery, he’d been so close when he got there in the first place and understood with the words “I’m with my dad” meant. But he wanted to be strong so that Jeongguk didn’t need to, for once. 

But now? Now he breaks, and he feels stupid because why is he crying over someone who he didn’t even know? But he can’t help it. 

It’s when he opens the drawer of his bedside table looking for tissues that he sees it: a big pack of brand-new cigarette boxes.

He stares at them for a few seconds before he gets up, wiping his tears with the sleeve of his pajamas instead, and throws the packs away. He’s done. 

He picks his phone up again and opens their chat and types with shaky fingers,

   to : Jeon Jeongguk — 12:04 a.m.
  I would have loved to meet him, too
  Rest now, okay? You did well today, Guk
  He would be so proud of you

Taehyung types and deletes a heart about eight times before he decides not to send it and locks his phone instead, turning the light off and trying to sleep, but he can’t. 

His mind is racing, and he can’t seem to be able to make it stop.

So, after a few hours of tossing and turning, Taehyung decides something. 

He gets out of bed and sits on his desk turns his laptop on and decides to donate a large amount of money to an organization that helps victims of lung cancer and supports their families. He knows money can’t fix everything and can’t bring back those that were lost, but if this is all he can do to help, he will do it. For everyone. 

For Jeongguk.

— ♤ —

For the first time in eight years, on the same day, Jeongguk manages to get a few hours of rest. He had expected to be awake for the entire night, to stare into nothingness in the darkness of his lonely room, and he surprises himself when he wakes up at almost 6 a.m., with the first sunlight peeking through his blinds, and a reply he hasn’t seen before he fell asleep earlier.

   from : Kim Taehyung — 12:04 a.m.
  I would have loved to meet him, too
  Rest now, okay? You did well today, Guk
  He would be so proud of you

Jeongguk lets his head fall back into the cushion when he reads the message, taking a deep intake of breath. He can’t help the smile pulling the corners of his lips up, as warmth blooms inside his chest at the memory of last night. Perhaps he went too far, perhaps he’s falling, falling and falling too fast, giving his full and honest trust to someone he shouldn’t love like this... but he can’t help it.

His phone quickly blows up with the other unopened notifications, and he has to take a moment to understand what is happening before he opens a link that urges him to sit up.

[ MOVIE PREMIERE ] : Kim Taehyung looking as radiant as ever for his comeback!
Is he preparing a new album? Learn what we know so far! 

His eyes dart from a line to another, finger scrolling past the few headlines and pictures of last night’s event, nervousness prickling in his veins when he plays the first video of Taehyung’s interview. 

“Will we hear any songs about that special someone people keep talking about? We are sad that you didn’t bring her today.”

Jeongguk swallows thickly at the question and the insinuation, his blood painfully burning inside him. How can anyone assume anything about anyone’s private life, and on top of it, in front of damn cameras? Unconsciously, his fingers balls into a fist, catching the sheets in the same breath, and observing the way Taehyung’s expression drops ever so slightly. It’s very subtle, just a flash through his eyes and a nervous gesture of the tip of his tongue over his lip, but Jeongguk catches it all. Maybe it is because they’ve spent a lot of time lately, maybe it is because they’ve come to learn about each other more deeply than through a screen, but... Jeongguk can clearly notice the uneasiness through a simple video. And he can’t help the guilt starting to crawl up his throat. 

“I guess you will have to wait and see when the album comes out,” Taehyung responds with such professionalism that it catches Jeongguk’s heart by surprise. It’s painful, painful seeing him like this, painful realizing that he’s been through such a stressful situation and that Jeongguk wasn’t even there for him. No matter how many times Taehyung might want to reassure Jeongguk that he did well, that he did exactly what he had to do—which is, take a full day off—he still can’t help but terribly wish he was there. 

He should have been there. 

Although this particular video cuts right there, he keeps scrolling through the countless articles before one catches his attention.

[ NEW ] : Kim Taehyung’s new bodyguard might have already quit!
That makes it the fifth in seven weeks! Who might be the sixth?

“What the fuck?” Jeongguk curses, his heart pulsing and knocking against his skull as he presses on the short video clip that accompanies the headline. Countless flashes popping from left and right as well as microphones keep being shoved into the little space Taehyung even has to move, and he looks like he’s trying to get away from the media. To leave, and fast. And then, one reporter has the nerves to ask,

“Where’s the new bodyguard, Taehyung-ssi? Did he quit as well so soon?”

The video ends with an incoherent brouhaha, and Jeongguk catches the moment Taehyung seems to get tipped over his limits. 

Jeongguk’s throat grows thinner than a straw. Guilt eats him alive. He’s supposed to protect Taehyung, and he let him live through that alone. How can he even claim to want to protect him, when he isn’t even there for him? 

Jumping out of his bed, Jeongguk rushes to his bathroom to take a quick frozen-cold shower, put on his work suit and catch his tablet to check for Taehyung’s schedules. He already missed a day, he can’t miss another hour. 

But before he can open his agenda, another article seems to pop up on his screen. 

This time, it doesn’t have anything to do with last night. Or, at least, not the event. 

Jeongguk doesn’t exactly know how to react. He stares. Seems that he can’t even breathe, that air refuses to pass through and to his lungs. That his heart is erratically running, running, and running to escape his ribcage. 

[ OFFICIAL ] The Busan Lung Cancer Research Center & Organization has shared the incredibly generous donation made by Kim Taehyung, and expressed their gratitude for the idol’s immense help!
Fans are sending positive messages to their favorite artist! 

“H—hyung...” Jeongguk stutters at the news, feeling the overwhelming emotions starting to coil up at the pit of his stomach yet once again. The donation is huge and Jeongguk knows that organization very well and knows just how much this will help not one, nor two, but thousands of families. 

Jeongguk feels... small. So incredibly vulnerable and insignificant towards this. His family never had enough to pay for his father’s treatment, and they did everything to make sure Jeongguk got the best education and followed the path he wanted. This means so much more than any word could have. 

Pressing a hand against the doorframe, Jeongguk rests his forehead against it to take a deep breath in. To slowly calm his erratic heart. He thinks about what to do, about what to say, but no words seem good enough to express his gratitude. It feels ridiculous. He raises his fist to knock against the wall, once, twice, and walks back toward his bedroom to take his badge, as well as his tablet, before he brings the phone to his ear and calls him. 

“Hyung?” he calls tentatively with a voice that is just so full of emotions. He wants to say thank you, sorry, I should have been here, you shouldn’t have gone without me. He wants to say a thousand things, but all he manages to tell is, “I don’t deserve all of this, hyung. I don’t deserve to be by your side.” There’s a sleepy chuckle at the other side of the line that catches Jeongguk by surprise. 

“Self-deprecation this early in the morning? That can’t be, Guk, ” Taehyung replies. “You’ve been there for me and protected me, isn’t it high time I do the same? ”

Jeongguk’s breath catches in his throat before he shakes his head at Taehyung’s words. “I should protect you, I’m your bodyguard, you shouldn’t care this much,” and the rest of the sentence seems to pend on his lips, but he doesn’t say it. You shouldn’t give me another reason to fall for you. 

“You’re right, I probably shouldn’t. I can’t seem to learn, though, can I? But, in my defense, nobody’s quite cared as much as you do for me, so I wanted to repay you for that. Plus, since I got along so well with your dad yesterday, it was the least I could do,” Jeongguk wishes he could see Taehyung right now because he can hear the smile on his face and the brightness of his eyes through the phone. He’s doomed. 

“Thank you,” Jeongguk mutters again with a smile before his face drops at the thought of last night’s event. “I,” he begins with a deep intake of breath, “I saw the videos about last night. Are you... alright?” he still ends up wondering although the moment those words slip past his lips, he feels ridiculous.

“Oh,” Taehyung sighs. “Yeah, I’m… I’m fine. I told you not to worry about it, and I hope you’re not blaming yourself for it, either. It’s nothing I’m not used to, unfortunately,” he chuckles. “Although I must warn you that I might get in trouble again because I left right after that and my managers did not seem pleased.”

“Call me,” Jeongguk immediately tells. “If they request that you come to the company again, call me. Don’t go alone this time. Please.” The first time was already hard enough to hear, and he doesn’t think he would forgive himself for letting Taehyung face those comments again alone. 

“Alright, I’ll call you. That way, you might not need to break another door,” Jeongguk can’t believe Taehyung is teasing him now. Where did the cold, serious guy he met on his first day? Because he’s glad he seems to be long gone. 

“I saw they rescheduled the filming for your collaboration with Yoongi-ssi,” he adds when he finally opens the agenda on the tablet. “Should I come by eight?” 

“Ugh, it’s so early,” Taehyung groans and Jeongguk hears rustling on the other side, probably meaning he’s still in bed. Jeongguk wonders if he even slept at all. “But yeah, I’ll be ready by eight. ” 

Biting down an amused smile, Jeongguk suggests, “Go back to sleep. I’ll wake you up if you’re not ready. Hope you don’t mind me breaking your front door,” he chuckles, feeling the previous weight on his shoulders slowly dissipate.

“Oh, what a waste, we just changed the code, Jeongguk-ah,” he sighs followed by a light chuckle. “It’s fine, I’ll go walk Tannie before you come, or else he’ll be mad at me all day again. See you in a bit, then? ” 

Jeongguk nods with a smile, although Taehyung can’t see him, he can surely hear it in his voice. “Yes. See you in a bit,” he echoes, warmth filling his chest. When he hangs up, he has to drop the tablet over the table next to him, before he crouches—as if he needs to take a moment for the reality to sink in. A moment to breath. A moment to realize just how close they’ve become. 

A few minutes pass before he’s pressing his device against his ear again, biting down on his lower lip as he waits for the other person to pick up. And when they do, Jeongguk can’t help but break into a faint laugh, almost as if he’s relieved. 

“Namjoon hyung? I think... it’s too late,” he bites down a smile, closing his eyes, “I can’t go back now.” He adds, running his fingers through his hair, as if he’s been holding this inside for god knows how long, “I fell too hard and too fast.”

— ✧ —

Taehyung takes a long walk with Yeontan today. He still has a bit of time before Jeongguk is supposed to come and pick him up for his schedule but he feels like he needs the fresh air before spending another entire day with the younger. 

Because the truth is that he feels like something shifted between them. He already started feeling it after that night when Gyubin broke into his place and Jeongguk stayed over, but after last night? It’s as if they hit a point of no return, and Taehyung can’t stop the smile from spreading across his lips whenever he thinks of Jeongguk. 

Something about him feels so… real. 

In the industry he works in, most of the people he meets always seem to have ulterior motives, they’re always fake around you to get what they want, but he’s not like that. At least, he’s given Taehyung no reason to believe that he is, so he’ll choose to believe that for now. 

It’s a lovely day today, the gray clouds and rain that accompanied them last night are far gone, and it helps with Taehyung’s mood a little. He tries not to let anything ruin it, not even the headlines from the movie premiere he sees when he gets home with Tan. 

He decides to post a story on his Instagram that says “I forgot to take pictures at the event, but the movie was so fun!!” 

That’ll make up for it, he hopes. 

He’s getting ready, fixing his hair as much as he can even though he knows that since some content will be filmed today, they will probably have someone fix it for him when they get to the company, when Yeontan starts barking, announcing someone’s arrival before the doorbell goes off. 

“One second!” Taehyung yells from the bathroom and gives himself one last look in the mirror and heads to open the door. Did he actually make an effort just to go to the company today? 

When he opens the door, Yeontan dashes out to try and jump into Jeongguk’s arms. Taehyung can’t blame him. 

“You are very punctual,” Taehyung chuckles, checking his clock and seeing that it is a few minutes past eight, which probably means he got here at eight on the dot. “Good morning again.” 

Jeongguk breaks into a wide smile, his eyes shining when he sees both Taehyung and Yeontan. His gaze seems to linger, and Taehyung wonders whether the faint rosy tint to Jeongguk’s cheeks is just a figment of his imagination. “Good morning,” he greets, something visibly pending on his lips, but he seems to chase it away before he raises the bag he’s holding in one hand. “We didn’t get to make any Hotteok last time, so... I made you some for today’s breakfast.” 

“Oh, so that is why Yeontan was so happy to see you,” Taehyung chuckles. “But aren’t we already running late?” 

“We are,” Jeongguk admits with an amused smile, “but you can eat them on our way there. You didn't eat anything yet, did you?”

“No, not yet,” Taehyung smiles. “Alright, let’s go, then,” he picks Yeontan up from the floor. “Say bye, Tan-ah.” And his puppy barks and tries to lick Jeongguk’s face. “Okay, okay, that’s enough,” he chuckles. 

“Bye-bye,” Jeongguk reaches to scratch between Yeontan's fluffy ears, endeared by the love the small dog is showing him before he steps back to let Taehyung leave with a last goodbye to Yeontan. “Such a fierce little pup.” 

As they walk towards the elevator, Jeongguk offers him the bag, and that's when Taehyung feels that it is still warm; he must have made them right after their call, earlier. Something about it makes him want to melt right on the spot. 

“By the way,” Jeongguk begins to say when the doors of the elevator close, staring ahead as if he's challenging himself to not look at Taehyung when he admits, timidly, “You look good.” He clears his throat as if he just said something unforgivable, and adds, in a whisper this time, “Really good.” Since Jeongguk isn’t looking, Taehyung can allow himself to blush, can allow himself to smile, and bite his lip to keep himself from screaming at the top of his lungs. 

“Thanks, Guk,” he replies, aching to touch, but knowing he probably shouldn’t. At least his hands are busy holding the bag, maybe he should start eating just so his mouth is busy, too. “I don’t think I’ve seen you with that tie before, is it new?” Taehyung points out. He’d love to say that he looks hotter than the pancakes in his hands, but he doubts that’d be professional. He’d mean it, though. 

Jeongguk hums, glancing at the tie he reaches with the tip of his fingers. “I didn’t think you’d notice, since it’s the same color as the other ones,” and his cheeks are still very much flushed—it is as if they’re mirroring each other’s reaction. It’s silly as much as it is funny. 

“It’s slightly lighter,” Taehyung points out, and he takes a pancake out of the bag and takes a bite. “Fuck,” he hums, closing his eyes and he almost moans. They’re so good. It shouldn’t be fair for him to be sweet, hot, nice, and a good cook. 

“They’re good?” Jeongguk questions as they walk towards the car, a genuine curious look on his face, as if he’d been worried that it wasn’t up to Taehyung’s expectations and taste. “I’ll teach you how to make them, for real, this time,” he laughs as he opens the passenger door, not even hesitating, as if this is where Taehyung should be. Next to him.

“Honestly, I didn’t really mind the mess that much,” Taehyung admits, the smile on his face obvious as he gets in the car. “And yes, they are delicious. Here,” he says and offers a bite to Jeongguk as soon as he’s sitting next to him, holding his gaze.

Jeongguk doesn’t need to be told twice, and he’s quick to take a bite, the reaction slow as if he’s taking the time to truly taste and judge it. When he does, though, it’s with a frown that he responds, and a hum, until he meets Taehyung’s eyes again, and his face turns yet once again shy—the complete opposite of the composed and calm bodyguard he usually is when he walks next to Taehyung. “You’re right. I’m sure you’ll make them even better.” And, Taehyung isn’t quite sure if he means that he would cook them better, or... something else.

“Hm, doubt it,” Taehyung chuckles nervously. “Come on, we’ll be late.” 

Jeongguk nods vigorously before he starts the car. And Taehyung doesn’t know if it’s because Jeongguk wants to speak or because he himself has some crumbs remaining on his clothes or face, but he notices those not-so-subtle glances Jeongguk steals from time to time during the ride. 

How cute. 

Although the ride to the company is quiet, it’s a good quiet. And Taehyung wants to reach out and hold his hand. He doesn’t, though, but he intertwines both his hands together to keep himself at bay. 

When they eventually make it to the company, Taehyung’s nervous for some reason. Maybe it’s the fear of seeing any of his managers, and he’s starting to feel a bit sick. So, before Jeongguk opens the door, he speaks. 

“Wait, can we—uh,” he gulps. “Take a second?” 

Jeongguk turns his head to look at him, nodding. “Of course. Do you need anything?” and here are those eyes again—worried, kind, attentive. “Are you feeling alright? Does it hurt somewhere? I can quickly go inside and pick up a glass of water if you need,” he suggests, scanning Taehyung’s face as if he’s trying to find the answers. 

“No, no, stay, please,” he reaches out and holds his hand. “I just need a second,” he whispers. “The last time I was here… you know how it went.” 

As if he's just now realizing what Taehyung is talking about, Jeongguk's face softens, and his thumb comes caressing the back of his hand in a reassuring way. “I'm here with you,” he reminds gently, “I won't leave you, not even for a second. I'll be here, you know that. And if at some point you feel overwhelmed by whatever happens in there, just let me know, and I'll be right next to you.” 

“Thanks,” Taehyung smiles, still looking at their hands and how well they fit together, as if his hand was made to hold Jeongguk’s and vice versa. “Okay, I think we can go,” Taehyung says after a few minutes of mentally preparing himself and steps out of the car followed by Jeongguk as they head inside the building and wait for the elevator to arrive.

Taehyung checks his phone to see his schedule for the day and sees that, as Jeongguk said, the only thing he has is the shooting of promotional videos for his and Yoongi’s collaboration that will be dropping in a few weeks. He should’ve done this ages ago, but he hopes he’s not too late. 

The teaser pictures dropped while Taehyung was in his involuntary confinement, so he missed most of the reactions from the people. In fact, he didn’t even get to post them on his socials himself. His team retweeted the official post and shared it on the stories instead. 

They head to the third floor and Taehyung sees some of the staff that was there with him yesterday to help him into getting ready as well, and soon enough, he’s being taken away into one of the rooms to get his hair and makeup done again. Jeongguk stays outside, but he’s always in Taehyung’s sight, in case he needs anything. 

It puts him at ease. 

Even when he gets an earful from one of his managers about his behavior yesterday, he tunes it out a bit and pretends he’s listening and that he will do better next time. 

Once Taehyung is ready, he heads to one of the studios where he finds a director who worked with them for a few years now and says hello politely before he gets into position, ready to read a prompter for a few hours and put on a smile. 

It comes out easily when Jeongguk stands right behind the camera. 

— ♤ —

There are a few things that Jeongguk notices today, but the two main ones are how good Taehyung looks today—Jeongguk almost felt his heart explode the very second the door opened—but also how nervous he seems to feel. And it is natural for Jeongguk to want to keep reassuring him that he'll go nowhere and stay by his side no matter what. That, this time, he won't even look away for a second and will be as attentive as ever. 

Although, this somehow comes at a price... and Jeongguk curses himself for having those thoughts crossing his mind. 

When Taehyung stands in front of the camera, makeup on and hair is done differently, he can't help but feel warmth sizzling in his veins. Obviously, Taehyung looks just as beautiful as he always does, but somehow... he seems to be looking particularly gorgeous today. Maybe it is his eyes, maybe it is the smiles and stolen glances at Jeongguk that make him stand out, and shake his entire being. He isn't sure. Or, he doesn't want to admit it.

Maybe it is his own heart, that has changed. 

Emotions have powerful effects on people's thoughts, and what they see. 

“And—cut!” the director signals the end of the recording, and Jeongguk is the first to offer tiny, rapid claps, his eyes having not left Taehyung for a second like he promised. He doesn't see the curious looks thrown at him, or rather, he doesn't pay attention to it and offers a wide, satisfied smile to Taehyung the moment the latter leaves the set.

“Hyung, you did incredible! Were you feeling nervous?” his last words are whispered as if he doesn't want people to hear them, just in case. “You looked really confident. You were so cool!” and his sparkly eyes do not lie. 

“Thank you, Jeonggukie,” Taehyung chuckles, color rising to his cheeks like a bun in the oven. “I was, a bit. You being here helped a lot, though,” he admits shyly before the director comes to say a few things to Taehyung about the results but Jeongguk is too stunned to pay attention to the words. 

As he stands there, waiting, Jeongguk allows his mind to wander, and his eyes to linger on Taehyung’s face. On his features, on his subtle and endearing habit, he has to slip his tongue over his lower lip whenever he’s focused on something or nervous. It’s not that Jeongguk didn’t notice any of those, but rather that he hadn’t paid such attention before. And now... he can’t help but feel his veins pulsing, the warmth blooming inside his chest. 

He’s lost, too lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t even realize that Taehyung isn’t talking to the director anymore and that the eyes he’s been looking at are now drowning in his. Quickly shaking those thoughts away, Jeongguk offers a smile before he accompanies Taehyung out of the room. “Do you have anything in mind for today? Or—should we stop by somewhere to eat?”

“Actually, I was thinking I could stay here and work a bit. I wrote and did a shitty recording of some songs while I was locked at home and I wanted to record them properly. I haven’t told anything to the company, but I don’t really care. Would you like to stay with me?” Taehyung offers with a small smile as they walk down the corridor. 

Jeongguk’s curiosity flashes in his eyes. New songs? Although he saw the speculations about a new album, he didn’t really register that it could be real and that Taehyung took the time to work on more than just one song during the time locked at home. The simple thought of hearing those before they get released urges him to nod vigorously. “I’d love that. I actually am having a hard time realizing that I’m allowed to listen to your works before... anyone,” he admits with pure honesty. Sure, he has seen the behind-the-scenes of photoshoots and recordings but it isn’t the same thing. “Did something special inspire you to come up with multiple works these past days?” 

Taehyung just chuckles but doesn’t reply to that. Instead, he signals to the elevator with his head and says: “Come on, then, special and privileged boy. You better not leak them,” he teases and he starts walking since the recording studios aren’t on this floor of the building. 

Jeongguk blinks at that before he enters the elevator with an excited smile. “Don't worry hyung, they're safe with me!” And they are, although he knows that he would undoubtedly want to listen to those songs again, and again, like he has with all of Taehyung's works. 

“Maybe, if they’re good enough, I’ll let you hear them again after today. But keep your expectations low, alright?” He asks, and as someone who’s liked all his songs thus far, Jeongguk doubts that Taehyung’s self-doubt about his music is well-founded. “They might be a bit… different.”

“Different?” Jeongguk echoes when they arrive on the right floor, definitely curious about the unreleased work. “A new genre?” he tries, “New lyrics?” He keeps wondering and questioning, although he knows that he is just about to get the answers he's looking for. He, however, can't help nor contain his excitement. “You don't have to worry about it, though. I know it's going to be extraordinary. And, as you've said, your fans are really passionate and they'll enjoy the new album. Especially after you've poured your heart into it, just like you've done until now.”

“You’re cute,” Taehyung lets out a chuckle as if his words didn’t just make Jeongguk’s heart skip a beat. “It’s just… I guess it’s the first time I’ve worked on it properly on my own. Usually, especially for the titles, the company gives them to me so that they’re… more catchy, I guess? And don’t get me wrong, I love my songs, but somehow these feel… properly mine, if that makes sense,” Taehyung explains as they walk to the recording studio. 

“Wouldn't it be even better, then?” Jeongguk asks as he pretends not to notice that his own face is burning, warmth spreading over his cheeks for only a few seconds that feel like an eternity to him. “That, for once, it's your own work. The entirety of it.” As he tells that, the realization that he's going to listen to that special work hits harder than before. This isn't just a casual recording. “I believe this might be your fans' favorite as much as this would be yours, don't you think?”

His smile is genuine when he answers, “I hope so. I just—I don’t know. I guess even after this long, I still get nervous,” he chuckles and opens the door. “By the way, since I didn’t say anything to the company yet I’m gonna ask you to keep this a secret for now, alright? But also, I… I want to do something special with this album. You said you were good at photography, right?” And the fact that he remembers… Oh, it pulls at the strings of Jeongguk's heart.

“It was still my job a year ago, I'm surprised you still remember that detail,” he tells with a faint chuckle, curiosity written all over his face when he enters the room and closes the door behind him. Asking, “Do you have something special you wish to capture?” He knows that Taehyung must have thoroughly thought about the image and atmosphere he'd like to give to this album, can already feel how important it is for him, and Jeongguk starts to feel nervous, wondering if he is even capable of capturing what Taehyung has in mind.

“I guess I just want to film the entire process, to show raw footage of how the creation of this goes, you know? Nothing fancy, really. But I think it would be something nice that the fans might like, and also something for me to look back on in a few years,” he smiles as he starts turning on the computers. 

Jeongguk has never really been in a recording studio before and it looks a bit overwhelming, to be honest. So many screens, so many mixing tables, and other devices. “Thank God I have all the recordings in here because I didn’t even bring my laptop,” Taehyung chuckles and he takes out a pen drive and plugs it into the main computer. “Come sit here, don’t stand over there,” Taehyung calls for him, Jeongguk still standing by the door taking everything in. “Is the door locked?”

Checking to lock the door first, Jeongguk comes closer, his eyes still sweeping his surroundings. “I don't have any camera on me, though. Do you know if I can use any from the company?” he searches around him. “Just the camera will be fine, by the way. I don't need any tripod.” Sure, that would stabilize the picture and make it look more professional, but as Taehyung said, he wants it to be more... real. Raw. Honest. And Jeongguk knows exactly how he is going to proceed.

“There’s a recording studio next door, you can check if there’s any there. Or you can just use your phone if you want,” he smiles as he clicks and tries to find the first file. Jeongguk notices that none of them are titled, certainly, because they're brand new works, perhaps because he has yet to find the perfect title, or, maybe because he doesn't wish to put those until he has the certitude that his album is his and his only. Not the company's, not anyone else's. 

“I'm not filming this without a proper camera,” he tells Taehyung, then, definite about doing this right. It isn't just any kind of work, and he knows that perhaps filming with his phone might add a more personal and private touch to it, but a lens has to capture more than just floating silhouettes. 

It should capture the emotions in his eyes, the slight shake of his lips, the subtle movements of his fingers. It should capture what Jeongguk's eyes see. 

It takes just a minute or two for Jeongguk to dash outside the room and come back with a small Leica film camera—something he didn't think he would find in such a studio that has mostly brand-new devices. This one must have a few years, and the colors this one captures sound to be the best option for this. 

“Did you find it?” he asks as he approaches the chair Taehyung offered him to sit on before, eyes sparkling with excitement. “I'm ready whenever you are, hyung.”

“Alright, let’s go,” he sighs, the nerves evident in both his voice and his body language. Taehyung gulps before he takes out a notebook from his bag and Jeongguk sees his scribbled handwriting, some of the words are scratched as if he thought of something better. “I think we can start with this one.” 

And after that, he adjusts some things for the audio and gets ready to get inside the booth to record the vocals properly.

“When I make you a sign, I need you to press this button,” Taehyung informs him, pointing at it. “I could do it myself from here because this entire room is soundproof, but I want to use the booth, so I can’t—“

“I got you, hyung,” Jeongguk nods, excited to have an even bigger part in this.

“I might even need to credit you as a producer after this,” Taehyung adds nervously before he takes his notebook and heads inside—the glass the only thing that separates them. 

Jeongguk prepares the camera and patiently waits for Taehyung to give him the sign, but as he watches him, he sees him take a few deep breaths and close his eyes, egging himself on. He notice the red button next to the controls that he’s seen in videos and is meant for the producer to talk to the singers in the booth, so he presses it and says,

“Fighting!” It seems to startle Taehyung, who opens his eyes and chuckles when he sees Jeongguk’s silly smile. He nods and gives him the sign, then, and when Jeongguk presses the button he was told, a melody starts playing and the screen starts recording the sound waves. 

For now, it is simply a piano melody, a melody in the minor scale, making it sound dark and… sad. 

It is already different from his other works, and Jeongguk can already feel it. He holds the camera to his eye level, and starts recording at the same time to catch what he sees—the slight shake of Taehyung's chest when he takes another breath in, the focused eyes brimming with a new emotion, the gentle fingers reaching for his headphones as he lets himself fall into his own song as if he's reliving the moment he wrote it. Unconsciously, Jeongguk holds his breath until he hears the first note slipping from Taehyung's lips, and when he does... he feels his own self being swept up at the moment, his mind whisked away. Jeongguk is no stranger to Taehyung's voice, he has listened to him countless times, again and again, he knows just how it sounds like, how beautiful a note can be when it is sung by him, but to be able to witness it in person is another thing. Emotions pour out of Taehyung's lips, heavy and honest, and Jeongguk is transfixed. Lost in the moment, registering every and each second the same way his camera does. Taehyung did tell him that this would be different, that this would be darker, but Jeongguk didn't expect it to be so... intimate. Personal. Overwhelmingly raw and beautiful. 

When Taehyung finishes the first verse, he opens his eyes and when they meet Jeongguk’s, he sees the same rawness he was just singing about. 

The song, so far, talked about feeling trapped in an unwanted situation, which, from what he knows about Taehyung so far, must be pretty easy to speak about. 

“How was that?” he asks, honest, and he looks a little scared, too. He shouldn’t be, though, and Jeongguk’s reaction tells it all about how it was. 

Eyes wide open like he is still taking in the lyrics, the meaning, and the deep and soulful voice he was listening to, Jeongguk’s mouth parts but no coherent sentence tumbles out of it. He’s still filming, although he isn’t looking through the lens anymore when he breathes out, “I think I just experienced a new emotion,” and he looks almost dizzy—he isn’t lying. “Hyung, you—” he stumbles over his own words, his own thoughts, “—you sound beautiful. And the words you carefully chose for this song convey such a strong feeling that—” I terribly want to be the one to rip you away from this terrible situation, “I wish this glass wouldn’t separate us, right now. I feel like I should be right next to you,” and never leave your side. He shakes his head with a faint, embarrassed laugh at his own clumsiness and the difficulty he has to speak his mind right now—he must look like a total mess, but he doesn’t mind being so in front of the one who just sang his heart out. “What I want to say, is,” he tries once again, this time lowering the camera, “I can feel the sincerity behind those words, and how personal and important it is for you to speak about the situation you’re hinting to. Your voice is like no other, hyung.” 

“I couldn’t hear a thing you said, Guk,” Taehyung chuckles. “Press the button!” 

Jeongguk’s face turns a vivid red as he’s quick to avert his eyes—and that’s when he realizes he hasn’t stopped the recording. When he does, he reaches to press the button to be heard, this time only telling, in a timid voice, “You did good, hyung.” He adds a thumbs up that he raises above his head. What an idiot.

“Really?” Taehyung’s face lights up as if he wasn’t just singing about feeling like drowning in a never-ending ocean. “I think I could’ve done better… but let’s just finish this whole song and then I’ll listen to it fully and see if I need to add anything,” he tells Jeongguk whose blush must be evident even through the glass. “Are you alright? Is it too hot over there? You can turn on the aircon if you want! I had it off so that my chords didn’t get too dry.”

Jeongguk clears his throat at that, and shakes his head vigorously, slapping his own cheek once as if that would stop himself from blushing. “I’m fine, it’s fine, let’s continue,” he tells before he picks up the camera again. He needs to stay focused. He waits for Taehyung to give him the signal and presses for the recording to start when he does, the song fills the room yet once again.

The song finishes and Taehyung comes out of the booth to hear it and see if he’s satisfied with it. The second he steps out, he smiles brightly and Jeongguk captures it with the camera.

The selfish part of him wishes he could keep all this footage to himself. 

“Alright, let’s see how much I hate it,” he chuckles before he sits down in one of the chairs and Jeongguk keeps filming him as he adds a few changes to the arrangement before he presses play and the whole song comes to life before their eyes and ears. Taehyung’s got his eyes closed, focused, and Jeongguk is, once again, mesmerized. He hopes that the lens captures the beauty of this moment the way his own eyes do—although, he also wishes that he’d be the only one to witness it.

When it finishes, he sighs. 

“Not horrible, right?” Taehyung smiles shyly at Jeongguk. “Did you film a lot?” 

Stopping the recording, Jeongguk puts the camera down and breathes out a gentle laugh. “Hyung, how can you be so strict towards your own work?” Somehow, Jeongguk wishes Taehyung could hear the song, and see himself sing through Jeongguk’s eyes. He’d be surprised by how beautiful it looks, and sounds like. “I might have filmed too much,” he admits with a chuckle—though, he would have filmed every single second of it if the recording was meant to be kept between the two of them, only. “Did you—” he pauses, his fingers slightly playing with the camera as he weighs the words on his tongue, “did you have a hard time, writing this one?” 

“Strangely, it’s one of the fastest ones I’ve ever written,” Taehyung admits, ignoring Jeongguk’s first question, which the younger guesses might’ve been responded with an ironic type of self-deprecation. “I guess I just… needed to let it out somehow? Most of these were quite quick to write. After all, it’s easier to write from experience,” his smile is sad. “I made the melody for this one that day we came here together that you ran to my house, remember?” He chuckles, then. Of course, Jeongguk remembers.

“I do,” Jeongguk smiles at the memory, silently laughing at his own past self who thought that he had been fired by Taehyung with a simple message. “I believe your fans will love this. Some may relate to your words, others may find new, comforting words to write back to you as a thank you for opening your heart.”

“I hope so, yeah,” Taehyung smiles at him. “I kinda hope none of them relate, though. I wish no one ever felt like this,” he sighs and saves the song and bites his lip as he thinks of a title for it and settles for hostage. 

It’s fitting. As much as it is saddening.

The song is already telling of the album Taehyung is about to create, and Jeongguk wonders just how much of Taehyung’s pain is going to be poured into those lyrics. Wonders how violent, how raw these works are about to be. “If this one sounds like that... I think I am about to be blown away by the other songs,” and he doesn’t lie.

And he is grateful that he is discovering it with a camera between his fingers—he believes that those moments, those new emotions are made to be recorded, and captured through a lens that would keep the memory for as long as it exists.

He wouldn’t want to forget this.

“Are you ready for the next one, then?” Taehyung chuckles, opening another file and standing up to go back to the booth. Jeongguk just nods and watches him leave. 

He could spend the rest of his life listening to Taehyung’s soulful voice.

Chapter Text

It has been a while since Taehyung has felt this excited to go to the company for anything, but for the past few days as he and Jeongguk have been working on his new album, he has been longing to be there for as long as possible, working on his songs and making sure that they are as perfect as he envisioned them when he first wrote them. 

It has proven to be a bit of a challenge, if he’s honest. It was one thing to write down his thoughts in his writing journal but saying them out loud makes him feel… something else. 

And Jeongguk’s soft gaze and his eyes full of emotion every time he bore out his deepest and darkest thoughts didn’t help. Or rather, they did. 

His bodyguard filmed the whole process and Taehyung cannot wait to sit down and watch everything. He’s sure his fans will love to see the process as well, because they’ve always asked to see more behind-the-scenes content from him, and it’s not that he’s never wanted to do it, but rather that the company never really either offered or allowed. 

He is done with the recordings, now. Done with the mixing and is ready to show his managers, producers and the CEO. He’s excited but he’s also a bit nervous. But, most of all, he is confident that this will be the best album he’s ever put out. 

And, although he has already decided on which songs will make it into the album, he feels so inspired lately that it feels almost as if words and melodies were pouring out of him with such ease that this album could end up being twenty-songs long. 

There’s one particular topic that Taehyung’s heart is itching to write about, though. Or rather, a particular person. 

A person with bright, wide eyes, a soft smile and a gentle, caring heart that tends to follow him around wherever he goes. And, for once, Taehyung doesn’t care. 

A person that, ever since he started working for him, has treated Taehyung with more kindness than any of the people that have worked for him in years. 

A person that, just at the thought of them, Taehyung feels his heart speed up and his skin burn. 

A person that’s downstairs in the car waiting for Taehyung to come down so he can drive him to the company for his comeback discussion meeting that he called himself. 

“Sir, Jeongguk-ssi is waiting for you outside,” Mr. Yeo announces to Taehyung when he walks out of the elevator, and the silly smile on his face is hard to hide. He hopes it’s not too obvious, though. 

“I know, Mr. Yeo, thank you. Have a nice day!” Taehyung manages to say before he rushes outside and spots Jeongguk’s car straight away. He seems to be checking his phone and Taehyung wonders if he’s texting him again. 

It’s been a constant as well lately, and he doesn’t mind at all. Although he is slightly worried that they might be blurring the lines between boss and bodyguard or whatever, part of him is grateful that it almost feels like they’re friends now. Actual friends. It makes it easier for Taehyung to work with him and to differentiate him from anyone else that’s hurt him before. 

It is also becoming incredibly difficult for Taehyung not to want to lean in and kiss Jeongguk every chance he gets, because his heart is guiding him a bit too hard in his direction and he’s terrified. 

But none of it matters now as he knocks on the window of the passenger’s seat and watches Jeongguk’s face light up when he looks up from his phone and sees Taehyung. He can’t help but mirror his expression as he opens the door, now unlocked. 

“Good morning, Guk,” he smiles as he slides inside the car and closes the door. “Slept well?” He asks. He knows the excitement in his voice is obvious, especially since he’s never really been this… happy. At least, not at this hour. 

“Good morning,” Jeongguk replies with a smile, and a nod at his question. He reaches for the cupholder between them, grabs one of the two drinks—the orange one—and offers it to Taehyung. “I bought you a grapefruit green tea, since I didn’t have time to make a proper breakfast for you,” as if that had become a simple routine for them. “How are you feeling?” he asks as he starts the car, “Ready for today?” 

“You spoil me too much, but thank you,” Taehyung chuckles and takes the drink, having a sip and enjoying the cool and tasteful mix on his tongue. It’s delicious. “I am! I’m so excited,” he admits. “I told you last night that you didn’t have to come, though. I could’ve driven myself and you could’ve taken the day off.” 

The night before, Taehyung had started to feel guilty about the fact that for the past week or so, Jeongguk has not had a day to himself. And, although the boy never once complained or seemed tired, Taehyung still felt bad and, since today he’s just meant to go to the meeting, it’s not like Jeongguk will be needed much there. 

Although he is still happy to see him. It’s as if, just by being around him, the anxiousness he was starting to feel dissipates.

“Why would I need to take a day off, when I could spend some quality time with the Kim Taehyung himself?” Although he has an amused smile playing on his lips, he definitely looks overjoyed by the simple fact of spending time with Taehyung. “You know you could call me at four in the morning and I'd still come. You can't get rid of me that easily, hyung!” 

“I guess I already did that once, huh? Best not to do it again, I don’t think I can take two more weeks of isolation,” he chuckles before he takes another sip of the drink. 

“You could use those two weeks to learn how to cook from the chef,” his eyes are on the road but the amused smile doesn't fade when he explains with a simple, “Jeon Jeongguk himself.” 

“It kinda hurts that you think I need two weeks to learn, though. I’m not that bad! Just because I haven’t cooked since we met doesn’t mean I suck that bad at it,” Taehyung tries to defend himself even though he knows full well it’s a lie. He sucks at cooking, but he made peace with it a long time ago. However, two weeks with Jeongguk… yeah, he wouldn’t mind getting in trouble for that. 

As they arrive close to the company after teasing each other, and laughing about all and everything, Jeongguk steals a glance at Taehyung, and asks, “Do you know how long it's going to last? I can wait for you and pick you up right after the meeting.”

“Honestly, I have no clue,” he admits with a chuckle. “But usually they take long since we need to go over concepts and everything… Either way, you can head home, because I’m supposed to meet Jimin when I finish.” And when Jeongguk gives him a look, Taehyung rolls his eyes. “For dinner, that’s it. No parties,” he laughs.

“Alright,” Jeongguk smiles at that, and parks when they arrive at the company. “You'll tell me how it goes, later,” he balls his fingers into a fist as to wish Taehyung good luck, and adds, “I know this is going to be a success hyung. I just know it!”

“Thanks, Guk. And… thank you for keeping me company through the process, too,” his smile is genuine. He feels such a light radiate from him every time he looks at the younger that he should be scared, but he’s far from it. “I’m glad you were there.” 

Jeongguk's eyes smile before his lips do, and he speaks with the same honesty as Taehyung does, “I should be the one grateful that you trusted me to be there with you through this. You poured everything into this album, and I know your words will reach more souls once it is out. Good luck for the meeting, hyung, you got this!”

And Taehyung wants to reach out and kiss him. Or hug him. Or… he’s not sure, but he feels like saying thank you isn’t enough anymore. Not with him. 

However, that’s the only thing he can do, so that’s what he does. 

“I’ll let you know about it later, yeah?” he smiles before he opens the car’s door and, after another deep breath, steps out. “Have a nice rest of the day, Gukie.” And he’s not aware of the name he just used until the door is shut and he’s halfway into the building.

— ♤ —

The smile on Jeongguk’s lips is undoubtedly the one of a man that has willingly fallen for another. It is of a man that has found happiness through another. And it doesn’t fade, as silly as it sounds like, as long as he has Taehyung on his mind. 

It lasts throughout the entire way back home, as he wishes for the meeting to go just like they’ve both planned it. It’s going to go well, because, after all, there is no reason they would refuse. No reason good enough to refuse a work that has been created with the passion one has for music, with the pain and suffering one has had to live through. For a song to reach people, to convey strong and overwhelming emotions, it must be a very good one. And Jeongguk knows that this album is the one. 

On his way home, he ends up taking another route, reminiscing of the one he used to take during his university years. 

It’s been a while since he’s been through that part of the city, and he concludes that using his free time to meet a friend he hasn’t seen in years is a good idea. Although, he isn’t sure that the person will be there today, it doesn’t hurt to try. After all, he didn’t have this opportunity before, rare were the times when he could even think about taking an entire day off, so making the most out of it now sounds nice.

When he arrives, he parks into one of the few empty places in front of a visibly quiet Café, the façade as bright as it can be with its colors popping. Definitely an interesting architectural choice, and telling of the owner of this place. It amuses Jeongguk. He must have hired someone for some renovation, he thinks. 

“Good morning!” a voice greets Jeongguk as soon as he enters the Pandora’s Box— a previously ordinary Café, and now an Art Café. The perfect place for an artist to come, and draw. The place isn’t full, but there are a few customers sitting by the windows, focused on their craft while they enjoy a cup of coffee on the side. 

“Good morning,” Jeongguk responds, offering a smile at the one behind the counter who hasn’t yet recognized him. Until the man looks at Jeongguk again, frowns, and finally breaks into a huge and excited grin. “It’s been a while, Hobi hyung.”

“Jeongguk-ah! How many years has it been!?” Hoseok sounds and looks overjoyed to see him, and it’s such a relief to know that he hasn’t lost one bit of that high energy and positivity that is a part of that shiny personality. “You grew up so well, look at you! Piercings, tattoos, wow!” The exaggerated sounds slipping from his lips steal an amused chuckle from Jeongguk. “You look great!” 

“So do you, hyung, I’m happy to know that you could make this Café your own,” Jeongguk smiles, his eyes sweeping the surroundings. 

“Ah, if only you knew how popular it became,” Hoseok pretends to sigh desperately, “all the students from the University we went to come here on the weekends. Most of them from the Fine Arts field, of course. It reminds me of my younger self...”

“Hyung, it’s only been five years, aren’t you exaggerating?” he laughs, and so does Hoseok. 

“Come on, let me know what you’d like. I finish my shift soon, my sister is gonna take the closing shift, so I can come talk to you after this!” 

“That sounds good,” Jeongguk nods, before he looks at the menu behind Hoseok. He takes the time to read all the options, but frankly, he already knows what he’s going to take. “I’m gonna take an—” 

“Iced Americano?” Hoseok tells at the same time Jeongguk does.

And they both break into amused smiles. 

“Yeah, exactly.” Jeongguk won’t change his favorite drink, it seems. 

Once the drink paid, he takes a seat at one of the available tables, picks up his phone and opens his conversation with Taehyung. 

   to : Taehyungie hyung  — 11:08 a.m.
  hwaiting!!!!
  one step closer to kim taehyung’s new hits!
  you’ll dominate the charts!!!
  (ง'̀-'́)ง

“Here you go,” Hoseok puts the wooden plate down on the table in front of Jeongguk; it has the Iced Americano, along with a sheet of paper, and a few different charcoal pencils. “It’s been a while since you’ve drawn, right?” 

Jeongguk chuckles at that, and nods. “I haven’t touched a pen since I graduated, actually.” Well, technically, he’s lying. To some extent. He did, in fact, draw a few doodles on a sticky note the day he brought a very drunk Taehyung home. He does, occasionally, make some drafts here and there whenever he has the time or even the inspiration for it, but it has never hit like now. 

And choosing this place to let his inspiration guide him sounds like a very good idea. 

One sip, and he’s already taking the pencil between his fingers, letting his wrist go loose when he begins drawing forms. Circles, at first. And then, lines come cutting those freely. It is almost like he is letting his own hand take control over the craft, letting his mind wander while he does so. He doesn’t even think about the result, he knows that after so many years of not practicing, he can’t expect his art to look divine. It will have its flaws, but so does every living being. It’s what makes the art so alive. Real. 

Tilting his head to the side, Jeongguk begins to see a familiar face appear onto the paper. The lips, thin and beautiful, and the mole under it. The eyes, and those long eyelashes hiding another dot under—so small that he had to be close enough to feel that person’s breath against his skin. The nose perfectly sculpted... and yet another mole. Another place Jeongguk wishes he would have pressed his own lips against. Even just a faint touch. 

“Who is that?” Hoseok surprises Jeongguk after a few minutes—well, actually, an hour, judging by the time on his phone—peeking above his shoulder. “Your boyfriend?”

Jeongguk chokes on the last sip of his drink, bringing his hand to his mouth to avoid messing up his drawing. “Well—”

“It is!?” 

“No!” Jeongguk is quick to say, although the faint blush on his cheeks seems to betray him, in a sense. It isn’t that he doesn’t want Taehyung to be his boyfriend, nor that he wants that to happen, but—his mind certainly is a mess, right now. And all he manages to utter as a response is, “My... muse?” 

“Oh,” Hoseok nods. Though, he sounds all but convinced. Certainly thinking that his own hypothesis might be the right one, judging by the smile he tries to bite down and hide. “Our Jeonggukie still knows how to draw. The model must be quite an immense inspiration for you to be able to draw that level of detail.” 

The playful tone in his voice makes Jeongguk breathe out an amused sigh. “I just...” He just what, exactly? He can’t deny Hoseok’s words. Taehyung is, indeed, a source of inspiration. Probably the most important one. A muse, as Jeongguk admitted, and he even thinks the word isn’t strong enough to describe him. 

Nothing, not even his own strokes over the thin paper are strong enough to describe the overwhelming emotions Taehyung makes Jeongguk go through. 

“He is more than just an inspiration to me,” he’s more than just a face on a paper, and a voice in the radio. 

“Oh, I know those eyes,” Hoseok pulls the empty chair to sit in front of Jeongguk, and rests his chin into his palms, elbows pressed against the table. “And that smile, too. You truly haven’t changed.”

Jeongguk swallows a laugh. It is almost like Namjoon is talking to him, right now. “What eyes? What smile?” 

There is no immediate response, but Hoseok’s face lights up, his own gaze shining with something akin to excitement. “Actually, the look in your eyes right now might be even stronger than the time you fell in love during uni.”

“Hobi-hyung—”

“What is he like?” he begins to ask, and Jeongguk already prepares himself for the attack—knows just how Hoseok doesn’t stop until he gets the information Jeongguk is willing to share with him. And it is funny, to see him even more joyful and interested in Jeongguk’s story than Namjoon has been. Perhaps—undoubtedly—it is because he doesn’t know that Taehyung is Jeongguk’s boss. Whatever. “Is he nice? Is he funny? Is he another artsy boy? A romantic one? Does he cook?” 

And Jeongguk laughs. Openly, happily. It is as if the both of them have never stopped seeing each other, as if they never stopped talking after university. “Oh, he’s a terrible cook,” Jeongguk tells with an endeared tone, smile so big it might soon ache, “but, hyung, you should hear his laugh, listen to his voice, and see his eyes—he has the whole night and its stars swimming in them.” 

“Oh, Jeongguk-ah, you’re so deep in love.”

— ✧ —

Taehyung is sitting outside the meeting room waiting for everyone else to arrive. It’s not usual that he’s this early for a meeting, but he was just so excited that he asked Jeongguk to bring him early just in case. Just in case there was traffic, just in case something happened and they’d be late. 

He doesn’t want to have any excuses for his superiors to be upset, and being there early was the first step to achieve that. 

When they finally arrive, they all walk into the room and exchange greetings. He knows that they’re not too happy with him after the whole thing at the premiere, but he hopes that, considering he’s been behaving well lately, they’ll see past that. 

“Good morning, everyone,” Taehyung smiles, standing up at the front of the table next to the laptop and the projector. He’s prepared an entire presentation with his ideas and everything, along with the songs. “Thank you all for coming. I know it’s been a long time coming, but, as I said in the email I sent you all, I think my album is finally ready! I—I have been preparing a lot for it, and I’ve already got some content ready as well to release along with the songs. So, without further ado, let me present you my new album: the darkness within.” 

He starts the presentation, then. The first thing he explains is the visuals he would want for the concept pictures, for the music videos and the outfits. 

“I feel like the feature that will be released with Agust D will be like an appetizer for what’s to come, since the theme of the songs is quite similar,” Taehyung explains as he continues to pass the slides. He’s decided not to look at the faces present in the room until he finishes, not wanting to get his flow interrupted, but he thinks the fact that nobody has stopped him yet must be a good sign. 

“As for the songs, I know they are different, I know they are not what we or the fans are used to, but I think they might be the best ones I’ve done until now. I also know we usually work with outside producers and with people from the company, but I wanted to challenge myself and do it all on my own for once. I—I hope you like them.” 

And here comes the part he’s more nervous about. In fact, his stomach is starting to turn as he gets ready to press play on the first song of the album. It’s an intro of just music. Just a piano. But it’s enough to present the mood of the album, the dark vibes of it. 

The next song comes long, and it’s the one Taehyung thinks will be the title. It’s the last one he recorded; finished it just a few days ago. He remembers how Jeongguk had to blink back tears and then pretended not to. He saw it through the glass and it made him emotional as well. 

He’s about to start the next song when a voice breaks through the silence of the room. 

“Alright, kid, I think we’ve heard enough,” the CEO says, then, and Taehyung finally looks at them. 

And he feels like he’s back on his audition. Back in that room filled with people who were older than him and were meant to judge how talented he was at fifteen. 

He feels small, insignificant and worse: he feels ridiculous. 

“But there are still more songs—” 

“You can’t release that,” the man announced, matter-of-factly. “I am sure it has been an enriching experience for you to work on those songs, but there is no way I am letting you release songs where you claim to be caged, to have been abused. Where would that put us?” And all Taehyung can do is stare at him. 

What? 

“Besides, you know your fans wouldn’t like seeing you like that. They come to you to forget their own problems, that’s why you exist. Don’t forget that. Did you actually think this would work, Taehyung-ah?” the man laughs, and everyone else in the room joins. 

Taehyung notices then that most of them were on their own laptops and probably were not paying attention to anything Taehyung has said, not the concept ideas he had, not the behind-the-scenes footage he retrieved from Jeongguk, nothing. 

“Anyway, since we’re here now, we do have something useful to show you. Your new single, here we go.” 

And they replace his presentation with something else, with a video of a song that’s nothing like what Taehyung just showed them. 

It’s bubble-pop. It’s so commercial and so plain and boring Taehyung almost feels sick. 

Everyone in the room smiles and bops their head along to it. 

“You see, Taehyung, this will make you even more famous. This will catapult you to the top of the charts, not only here, but maybe outside of Korea as well since we plan on releasing an English version of it too to appeal to the US market,” his boss informs him, and one of the marketing guys starts explaining how those songs are all the rage right now, how it’s the smartest decision to do that and how it’s in his best interest. 

But Taehyung’s out of there, his brain is not in the room, it left the second they interrupted him. The second they decided that his hard work was not a good idea for the company’s sake. For the company’s image. Because Taehyung is just a pretty face with a pretty voice, that’s what he’s always been for them. 

“We will be shooting the pictures and music video soon so that we can release it so it is a summer hit,” one of the managers says, then. “And since you’ve wasted your time with those songs, we will find you others so you can put out an EP or something along with it.” 

“Sounds good,” the CEO smiles and claps his hands. “Alright, then, I guess we can consider this a successful meeting, right? We finally have an album on the way! Thank you all for coming.” 

Everyone starts to leave after that, but Taehyung is still glued to the spot, with the remote to switch his slides in hand as he was when they interrupted him. 

Someone walks his way then, and when he looks up, he sees it’s the CEO. 

“Next time, don’t waste our time, Taehyung. We’re busy people.” And, after that, he leaves. 

Everything around him starts to feel like too much. The walls start closing in on him and he feels like he can’t breathe properly. 

He picks up his phone and sees he’s got some texts from Jeongguk and his heart shatters. 

    from : Jeongguk  — 11:08 a.m.
    hwaiting!!!!
    one step closer to kim taehyung’s new hits!
    you’ll dominate the charts!!!
   (ง'̀-'́)ง

It’s been hours since he sent the text, and Taehyung only sees how long they’ve been at the meeting. 

He really did waste everyone’s time, huh? 

He laughs bitterly, remembering what the marketing expert said; how he’s going to top the charts with his new hits.

Although they won’t be his. They won’t be his songs. He’ll be singing them, sure, but there’s nothing about them that will be his. 

Panic starts creeping in again, and he needs to get out of there, fast. 

He picks up his things and rushes out of the room, out of the building, and doesn’t even realize he’s running until he almost runs into traffic. 

He gasps and apologizes to the driver, moving away from the road, out of breath, and out of his mind. 

He knows he could call Jeongguk to come get him, he knows he could call a taxi to take him home, but he doesn’t. He runs. 

Runs and lets the tears in his eyes fall and mix with his sweat.

He wants to scream, shout, cry...

Taehyung can’t do this anymore. 

— ♤ —

Hours fly by faster than Jeongguk can count them. Perhaps it is because his mind wanders without him noticing, perhaps it is because he easily gets lost in his thoughts. 

He had spent the afternoon catching up with Hoseok, and laughed when reminiscing about their past and the funny moments they’d share during university. It is a good day, Jeongguk believes. So far, at the very least. 

When they part, Jeongguk checks his phone, expecting to see a new message, but he has nothing. He doesn’t really think anything of it, though, as he reminds himself of when Taehyung told him that he’d spend the rest of the day with Jimin. Taehyung had probably met with Jimin as soon as he left the company, and didn’t yet have the time to say anything to Jeongguk about it. It could wait. After all, there was no reason for the meeting to go wrong, right? 

It is the same when, one hour later, he enters the gym. Still no new notification. Taehyung might be fully enjoying the time with his best friend, Jeongguk believes with a smile playing on his lips. They could see each other after the dinner, after all. 

    to : Taehyungie hyung — 6:21 p.m.
    do you need me to pick you up from your dinner with jimin? 

A hidden, should we meet after? in his text, that he knows Taehyung will pick up. He switches the app to choose a playlist, and slips the phone into the pocket of his sweatpants to start his workout—a routine he built for his lower body.

Although the place gets filled with people just coming from their workplace, Jeongguk doesn’t see anybody, his mind still lost, still dizzy with what happened in the last few days. It is amusing, and it would be a lie to say that he didn’t miss these new, lovely feelings that have the power to brighten any bad day.

And it is when he thinks that nothing can bring him down, that life seems to catch him up by surprise.

Cooling down on the treadmill after an hour of working out, Jeongguk feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. He reaches for it, careful as to not ruin the folded paper—with a certain drawing—he keeps in there too, just to check if it’s from a certain someone, and almost slips the device back again when he doesn’t immediately recognize the name. 

But then, his brain processes it. His eyebrows furrow. And his hand brings the phone back up to read the name of the sender. Jimin? 

    from : Jimin — 7:12 p.m.
    hey, is taehyungie with you?

Jeongguk reaches for the button on the machine to reduce the speed until it stops. It is strange, just how barely tired he felt until he read Jimin’s message, and how out of breath he suddenly feels with it. 

    to : Jimin — 7:14 p.m.
    no?
    what do you mean?
    he was supposed to be with you, right? 

His heart beats at miles an hour while he waits for an answer that doesn’t take much long to be sent.

    from : Jimin — 7:14 p.m.
    i don’t have any news since this morning
    he doesn’t pick up my calls, either
    i thought he was with you

What? This can’t be. Taehyung was supposed to be with Jimin, so if neither he nor Jeongguk has any news—where the hell is he? Something must have happened, and the simple thought of it makes Jeongguk dizzy. His vision becomes blurry, and he has to step down from the treadmill while he types his response. 

    to : Jimin — 7:15 p.m.
    i’m gonna check his apartment
    i’ll call you back

The idea that the meeting went wrong doesn’t even cross Jeongguk’s mind—maybe something else happened to him directly. And this simple thought sends Jeongguk’s brain into a panic. He doesn’t wait another minute, and gives up on finishing his workout to rush out of the gym with his bag. Uncaring of his attire, uncaring of his sweat dribbling down his temples, uncaring of how disheveled he looks. 

A thousand scenarios start to pop up in Jeongguk’s head, and it only gets worse when none of his calls that he tries during the ride to Taehyung’s apartment fall into his voicemail. Once. Twice. Four times. Taehyung is unreachable. 

The tires of his car make a long and strident hiss over the ground of the parking lot, his belt unfastened in a fraction of a second before he bolts outside and right into the building. When he arrives in front of the doorman, face flushed and throat thinner than a straw, he manages to ask worriedly, “Is Taehyung home?” 

The doorman has barely time to respond; the very second he offers a nod and parts his lips to talk, Jeongguk is already dashing inside. If he’s home, does that mean that—

No. He can’t think about it now. They’ve managed to change the code that gives access to Taehyung’s home, this means that he’s safe once he’s inside the apartment. Right? 

As soon as he arrives at the seventh floor, Jeongguk doesn’t waste any time to be by Taehyung’s door, ringing the doorbell and knocking against it when no one opens. “Hyung, it’s me! I know you’re home, please open the door!” he desperately begs, and his vision still seems blurred when his eyes dart to the keypad. His shaky fingers try the code that he remembers. 

Error. 

He tries the one Taehyung once shared with him, for a day he came home with a warm breakfast specially prepared for him in the morning.

Error. 

“Hyung!” he calls again, his heart threatening to escape his ribcage. 

A second.

Two.

And three.

Nothing.

He doesn’t hear anything from where he stands on this side of the door, the walls well-soundproofed, although he would have heard it if someone were to scream on the other side. Still, if Taehyung is inside, and he doesn’t hear the lousy screams, the loud knocks against the door as well as the doorbell—what is happening? 

“Mister!” Jeongguk comes down from the elevator even more flushed than before. Tired of running, tired of worrying, and still so very concerned by the situation he has a hard time grasping. “Please, do you have any spare key to Taehyung’s door?” 

The doorman turns to look at Jeongguk, visibly surprised by the state in which the younger is right now, and how fast he went down. “Does he not answer the door?” 

“He doesn’t,” Jeongguk breathes out, his veins pulsing inside his ears. Loud and painful. “I beg of you, can you give me access to his door? I need to check on him. Please.”

Although the man seems to hesitate for a moment, he nods at Jeongguk’s request, reaches for the keyring he keeps secured on his waist, and gives Jeongguk one of the keys. 

“Thank you so much,” Jeongguk immediately bows at a 90° degree before he goes up again with the same speed, the same heavy weight pressuring him, almost dragging him down to the ground, and crushing his ribcage until it punctures his heart. 

He doesn’t even see where he goes, the path well known by now, and his hands work on their own when he unlocks Taehyung’s door with urgency and barges inside. 

“Hyung—!” 

Jeongguk’s legs threaten to give up, and his heart drops to his feet the very second he steps inside. His mouth parts, his eyes widened, and it is insane just how he seems to suddenly forget how to breathe. 

The apartment is... a mess. 

Shoes are scattered through the hallway, as if Taehyung has barely had the time to kick them off. A jacket has been thrown on the corridor, right next to a broken and certainly extremely expensive vase. Further away, Jeongguk notices sheets shredded into a thousand pieces, and he believes that they’re lyrics that have been thrown away. 

Jeongguk manages to take a few steps forward, realizing just how bad the situation is. 

And it is then that he hears the most heart-wrenching sounds that cut right through his flesh, and pull on his veins until they snap. 

Taehyung’s desperate cries.

— ✧ —

Taehyung feels like a zombie, like a shell of his own self as he enters his apartment. But, the second he does, everything comes crumbling down. 

He takes off his shoes and throws them across the room, hitting one of the vases that his mother bought for him when he managed to get this apartment and that had cost her a fortune. That only made him feel even worse, which didn’t help. 

He turned and changed the code to the door, poetically writing 119 as if he was dialing the emergency number himself. Feeling like he probably should. 

He throws off his jacket and sees that his writing journal is on top of the coffee table where he left it last night as he prepared the presentation; and he rips it apart. Rips the pages, rips the words out of them, since they’re worthless anyway. 

There’s no point in keeping something that’s worthless, just like he is. 

Pillows from his couch fly across the room as he screams, cries, as he wishes he could just break a window and jump from it. 

He’s grateful that Yeontan had a vet appointment today and stayed at his parents for the day; he doesn’t even deserve to be loved by his dog right now. 

Everything feels too loud, too much, too heavy, and he is too small, too weak for all of it. 

It hurts. 

His chest hurts where his heart got ripped out and walked all over today. It hurts where he got shot by words and laughs. It hurts where he poured everything he had in himself out only for it all to go to waste. 

It’s unbearable. 

Taehyung walks to his room, or practically drags himself there and his legs give out, and he falls, curling in a ball on the floor and cries, cries, and cries. 

He’s thankful that he bought the entire floor of this building, otherwise, someone would’ve already called the cops by now, and the last thing is he wants is for anyone to see him right now. 

He didn’t even cancel on Jimin, but he also threw his phone across the room at some point after he walked in so he can’t even do that right now. 

He braces himself and shuts the world out completely as painful sobs break through him. 

There are knocks on the door; he hears them. 

It only makes him crawl more into himself, only makes him sink deeper in the hole of darkness he finds himself in. He almost wishes it was Gyubin, or Junhyeok, or Hunho, or any of the others.

The voice that calls for him leaves and gets replaced by countless others. 

Useless, worthless, waste, stupid, dumb, childish, puppet, you’re just a pretty face, something for people to forget their problems.

You are insignificant. 

You have always been insignificant. 

Taehyung screams, wishing he could break his head open and tear every single of those voices away, but he can’t, because they’re his own. 

And his cries are so loud he doesn’t even hear when someone enters the apartment, doesn’t hear him call his name, doesn’t hear him walk his way. He doesn’t realize the person gets this close until arms wrap him into a warm and tight embrace. And then, a voice, almost a whisper against his ear, 

“H-hyung,” it’s Jeongguk, and his voice is so brittle, so weak, that it sounds like he is about to cry out of worry. “It’s me, hyung, can you breathe for me?”

But Taehyung only breaks even more if possible. He was already shattered like a glass that’s fallen from an eight-story building, but among Jeongguk’s arms, the glass turns into impossibly small particles of sand ready to be blown away by the wind and disappear. 

He can’t breathe, but he curls himself further against Jeongguk’s embrace and cries even more. 

Gentle fingers run through his hair, others softly caress his waist before pulling him even closer, as close as he can be, while Jeongguk murmurs against his ear, “You’re okay, hyung. I’m here with you. No matter what happens, I’ll be by your side. You know that, right?” His fingers slowly trail down his neck, massage it gently to try and comfort Taehyung even just for a bit. Even just for a second. And he reminds him, “I’ll always be here for you. Please, hyung, breathe for me.” 

“‘mnot,” Taehyung manages to mutter between sobs. It’s barely a word, and he knows. “Can’t,” he coughs when the sobs break through him again. “I can’t do this.” 

The whole world seems to be still as he sits there in Jeongguk’s arms, and the young boy’s breathing on his neck along with his gentle touch is grounding him a bit, but it doesn’t manage to erase what happened. It doesn’t change the fact that he is and feels worthless. 

He groans again and covers his face with his hands, not wanting Jeongguk to see him like that. Not right now. Not ever. 

And yet, there are the same gentle fingers on his hands, taking them ever so softly, not letting go until Taehyung lets him draw his own hands away from his face, even for just a bit. When Jeongguk succeeds, he cups Taehyung’s face into his hands, brush the corners of Taehyung’s eyes with his thumbs to dry his tears, although they don’t stop flowing, the emotions so vivid, so overwhelming. 

“Hyung,” it’s a whisper, again, but Jeongguk keeps calling him as if he wants Taehyung to come back to this particular moment, and not one that happened in the past, and will follow him to his future. “Hyung, you’re not alone. I’m here. Whatever it is, we will go through it together. Whatever it is,” he keeps repeating, keeps reassuring, while his fingers still caress Taehyung’s skin and his forehead comes pressing against Taehyung’s before the latter could hide anywhere. “I’m here with you.” 

Taehyung closes his eyes, then, and maybe it’s because Jeongguk doesn’t yet know what happened, but he’s not sure if he wants to tell him. He doesn’t want to disappoint him as well. 

But he tries, he tries to breathe for him. 

It takes a bit at first, and he finds he ends up leaning a bit closer to Jeongguk, just to feel his breath against his skin, to feel that, at least, one of them seems to still be alive and breathing. 

“I failed,” a weak strand of voice manages to come past Taehyung’s lips. 

And they’re so close that the next tear that falls from Taehyung’s eyes, lands on Jeongguk’s cheek. 

“Did we?” he asks ever so softly as if he desperately wants to lessen the weight Taehyung is bearing over his own shoulders, as if he wants Taehyung to understand that, indeed, he is not alone. “Give yourself the time to process your pain, hyung.” Their noses brush gently when he ever so faintly moves, his fingers still as warm, still as comforting on Taehyung’s skin. “And when you’re ready, we’ll talk it out,” he dries yet another tear under Taehyung’s eye, the touch almost burning with how sensitive his skin is after crying so deeply, “and find a solution together.” 

“I don’t— I don’t think there’s a solution, Guk,” he shakes his head and bites his lip not to cry again. 

As if he ever stopped. 

“You're not thinking clearly right now, hyung.” Jeongguk draws his face back just a bit, just enough to meet Taehyung's desperate eyes. “We can always find a way. This is about the meeting, right?” his voice lowered when he asked about it, but he doesn't seem to want to hear any response, has probably seen it in Taehyung's eyes before he says, “Did you need them to work on your songs?” No. He didn't. “Do we really need them to release those?”

“I can’t—I can’t just go behind their backs. They didn’t even listen. I showed like—two before they cut me and—” He tries to explain, but apparently his thoughts are all over the place, and since he can’t stop sobbing, sentences are hard to combine. However, just thinking about it makes Taehyung feel sick again. And he’s cried so hard he feels like he might vomit at this point. “They said it was a waste of time.” His voice is barely above a whisper, and he looks down not to meet Jeongguk’s eyes when he says it. 

Because maybe they were right. 

Maybe Taehyung wasted his and everybody’s time wanting to work on these songs, on this project as a whole. Maybe he wasted Jeongguk’s time as well.

Maybe he still is. 

“You should know by now that their words don't mean anything. They don't define the person you are, they don't dictate anything about your life.” Jeongguk's fingers trail down to the nape of Taehyung's neck. “Hyung,” he calls, as if he's searching and wanting to meet Taehyung's gaze. “You poured so much into these songs... don't you think it'd be a waste to not release them, rather than the opposite?” His thumbs slide under Taehyung's chin and he slightly tilts it up to make their eyes meet. “Don't you think this is the perfect opportunity to release it? You're talking about a situation where you're feeling hostage... And they're simply giving you another reason to make this release even more important than it already was for you. It is the right moment. It is not a waste of time.”

And Taehyung stays quiet at that, thinking about Jeongguk’s words. 

But what can he do when they won’t allow it? If he goes behind their backs and releases the songs anyway, they might end his contract or worse: they might release everything they have on Taehyung to the world, including things that aren’t true but that would for sure make him look like the bad guy and ruin his image. 

“Maybe I’m just—Maybe I’m not meant for this at all,” he lets his demons speak for him, lets his fear take over. He’s so afraid of the what ifs that he has been stuck in a shitty situation just because it’s everything he’s ever known. “It hurts I—I can’t do this anymore, I don’t want to,” he cries, looking into Jeongguk’s eyes desperate. 

The tight hold he has on Jeongguk’s shirt makes his knuckles go white, but he feels like, if he lets go, he’ll drift away so far nobody will reach him again. 

He’s holding onto him like a lifeline. 

“How can you say that you’re not meant for this when you’ve saved so many souls? Hyung, please, listen to me,” and Jeongguk has to say it again to try and get Taehyung to focus on his voice for even just a second, “I’ll be there with you through this. You won’t do it on your own, alright? You can do it, you’re not just anybody, you’re Kim Taehyung,” and he tries to offer a smile, ever so faintly that Taehyung barely notices through the tears blurring his vision. “You have yet so much to share to the world, and this album is a part of it. We’ll find a solution together, and if you do not believe in yourself—please, believe in me.” His fingers keep caressing Taehyung’s skin, sometimes applying a faint pressure to try and calm his erratic heart. “Can you believe in me, hyung? Please?” 

And he does. He believes in Jeongguk, there’s no need to deny that. 

But if he’s saved so many souls, like Jeongguk said, then why can’t he save his own? Who will save him? 

“I already do,” Taehyung manages his voice to speak over the loud beat of his heart that he feels is stuck in his throat with every touch from Jeongguk against his skin. “But I’m—I’m scared, Guk, I’m so scared of them, of myself, of—” he gulps and closes his eyes, letting the tears flow again. 

He’s never allowed anybody to see him like this; this vulnerable, this… shattered. 

And, although it’s not like he asked Jeongguk to come, he’s also not pushing him away. If anything, he’s pulling him even closer, needs him closer. 

And Jeongguk seems to understand as he runs a hand through Taehyung's hair and silently coaxes him into leaning into the younger's neck, to offer Taehyung a safe place to cry, and let go of all these overwhelming emotions that have been bottled up for too long. A mantra of I'm here, you have me, I'll stay by your side, keeps being murmured to Taehyung's ear. Now is not the moment to talk about the situation, not when Taehyung's mind is so loud, so violent, and Jeongguk gives him time, and warm arms to break under the pressure he has been living through.

And, for now, that’s enough. 

— ♤ —

It was more than just devastating. 

To see the manner with which Taehyung had been crying, for probably too long already by the time Jeongguk arrived, cut his chest and heart open. The sight was unbearable. There, on the floor, Taehyung cried, cried and cried. It was so intense that Jeongguk could hear whenever the air got caught in Taehyung's throat, because his lungs were desperate for more oxygen. His entire body trembled, his fingers so shaky that Jeongguk feared if he pulled away, he'd break them.

Jeongguk felt powerless.

His words tumbled from his lips, his heart tight when he tried to reassure Taehyung, and swallow his anger in the same breath—anger at those who barely listened to Taehyung's songs. And in the ocean of emotions, there was also guilt that made its way up Jeongguk's throat. Guilt for sending the cheer up message at a time Taehyung probably knew, already, that this had been all for nothing. 

But it isn't fair. None of what happens in this company is fair—and Jeongguk simply can not stay back and do nothing. He needs to find a solution.

“You need to rest, now, hyung,” are the first words Jeongguk speaks after a moment, a few minutes, or more—he isn't sure of how much time passed since they've been clinging to each other. But it has been enough to finally calm Taehyung's cries down, enough to feel the exhaustion suddenly fall over his shoulders. And when Jeongguk sees those puffy, red eyes again, his heart shatters into a thousand pieces. 

How can someone make him suffer this much? It is inhumane. 

Jeongguk moves ever so slightly to wrap his arms around Taehyung in a more comfortable way to lift him, and walk to his bed where Jeongguk lays him down, gentle as always. And he thinks about leaving, about giving Taehyung the space he needs to rest his mind, rest his body. 

But then he sees those eyes searching for him, fingers reaching for his, and his heart swells when he hears,

“Don’t—” Taehyung starts to speak but it’s almost as if he stops himself from saying something. As if he wasn’t sure. “Can you… stay here with me?” His voice is barely above a whisper, having probably lost the majority of it from the loud screams and cries he let out before. “Please, Guk.” There’s almost desperation in his voice again, eyes welling up once more, and there's not a chance that Jeongguk is going to refuse his request, his plea.

“I'm here,” Jeongguk reassures, and his hand wraps around Taehyung's as he takes his device with his free hand. Writes, quickly, 

    to : Jimin — 10:58 p.m.
    im with him
    hes okay now

“Who are you talking to?”

“Jimin,” Jeongguk smiles, slides the phone back into his pocket and climbs on the bed to lie on the empty space Taehyung leaves for him. Although this bed might be the biggest one Jeongguk has ever seen and there is enough space for the both of them, Jeongguk stays close. Knows that Taehyung needs him close. “I'm letting him know that I found you, and that I'm with you. He was worried sick,” he gently caresses Taehyung's arm with the pad of his fingers, “we both were.” 

“I’m sorry, I—” he gulps. “I threw my phone across the room at some point,” Taehyung explains, eyes heavy, but not heavier than his heart. Seems like the gentle touches from Jeongguk are helping to lull him to sleep.

Jeongguk wants to remind him that he shouldn’t apologize, that he did all he could, that the emotions that came out of this situation were nothing but human. All he does, however, is to observe the faint fluttering of Taehyung’s eyelids, the manner with which his chest still spasms despite how the tears have stopped, and the slow and steady breathing he falls into. Jeongguk doesn’t cease his gentle ministrations, trails up his fingers and brushes the stray clumps of hair out of Taehyung’s sleepy face with a small smile at the corner of his lips. 

“Why is life so harsh on you?” the words barely a whisper, barely audible but even if he were to speak louder, Taehyung couldn’t hear him—he already fell deep into Morpheus’ arms. “Why can’t I seem to protect you the way I should?” 

Why do you seem to always be hurting even when I’m by your side?

His thumb softly brushes against Taehyung’s eyelashes, still wet from the previous tears, and skims over the mole under his eye. Their faces are close, so close that Jeongguk can feel how warm Taehyung’s body is from the intense cries he let out earlier. Even when his hand cups Taehyung’s cheek for a moment, Jeongguk can feel how his skin is burning. Wishes he could take away all the pain Taehyung is going through. Wishes it was all easier. 

Jeongguk has to physically tear his eyes off Taehyung’s lips when his thoughts and his heart get too loud against his skull, against ribcage, and he turns around to reach for the night lamp and dim it down, before he takes his phone into his hand. 

A new notification appears on top of his locked screen, on top of a “thank you, jeongguk-ah” sent by Jimin, and an idea seems to flash into his mind. 

[ SG ENTERTAINMENT ] AGUST D — So Far Away (feat. Kim Taehyung) is OUT now ! 

Min Yoongi. A friend of long date should be able to help in such situation. 

Right? 

Chapter Text

Taehyung wakes up unable to breathe. His chest feels heavy, his eyes are still puffy and he feels like someone grabbed his heart and stepped on it so many times it doesn’t exist anymore. 

He doesn’t even want to open his eyes, doesn’t want to face the world after what happened yesterday. Maybe he will be in denial for the rest of his life if that means protecting the little hope he has left. 

What is he supposed to do now? 

He feels the tears come back and wonders how is it possible for him to have so many. How come he’s not dehydrated yet is beyond him. There’s a lump in his throat and a knot in his stomach as the memories return to him, and he turns around in bed, trying to get away from them all and his body crashes against something else. 

Someone. 

That gets his eyes open in a heartbeat, but he relaxes when he sees who it is. 

Who else? What remains of his heart whispers to him. 

Taehyung remembers asking him to stay with him, remembers feeling the urgency of having him there, closer. 

And that’s exactly where he finds him.

Jeongguk sleeps peacefully by his side, curled up as he lies on top of the covers, probably freezing. 

Something about the fact that he didn’t get in bed makes Taehyung want to cry again. 

He’s so good. Too good, maybe. He keeps telling himself that he does not deserve such kindness from Jeongguk, especially after the way he treated him when they first met. 

And yet, here he is. 

Taehyung gets out of bed carefully not to wake him and finds a blanket and throws it over his body, seeing how he slowly uncurls once the warmth spreads through him. 

Taehyung smiles a little and heads back to bed. 

He doesn’t think he can face the outside of his room right now, not alone. 

He remembers everything, even if, at the moment, he felt like he blacked out. He wishes he had. 

Once he’s back in bed, he moves to be closer to Jeongguk, allowing himself the luxury of admiring him up close, of counting his eyelashes and smiling at the light snores that get past the younger’s slightly parted lips. He almost leans in, almost brushes his own against them, but doesn’t. 

Instead, he closes his eyes and lets Jeongguk’s breath fan against his own skin, and imagines that he’s just a regular guy, living a regular life and having a regular crush. 

It’s easier. 

“‘mhyung,” a tired mumble tells Taehyung that Jeongguk is awake. When he opens his eyes, he sees Jeongguk’s battling to open, and that sweet gaze meeting Taehyung’s before a smile appears on his lips. “‘morning,” he greets drowsily, reaching to rub the sleep out of his eyes. It is then that he seems to take notice of the blanket that is now covering him, which widens his smile and makes him sigh in amusement. “You slept well, hyung?” He shifts for his body to be even closer, although there are barely any remnants of space between them, and Taehyung almost believes that the hand that comes to caress his shoulder was meant to reach for his cheek. “‘had any nightmares?” 

And it is just crazy how even through the drowsy state, Jeongguk still worries, still cares, still comforts. 

“Can’t remember, so I guess that’s good,” Taehyung smiles a little and nudges a bit closer. “Guess I had enough of a nightmare yesterday while I was wide awake, huh?” And he looks away from Jeongguk, then. He doesn’t want to talk about it but he knows that, eventually, they will have to.

A sleepy hum slips past Jeongguk's lips, barely awake when his hand travels down to caress Taehyung's lower back, when his face hides against Taehyung's shoulder. It is only after a short moment of silence that he mumbles, “You will release your album, hyung.” And for a second, Taehyung wonders if Jeongguk fell asleep again—he definitely sees that the younger is not a morning owl—but then he's raising his head to search for Taehyung's eyes with his own tired, sleepy ones, and tell almost too casually, as if he already has a plan in his drowsy head—definitely an endearing sight, “Min Yoongi-ssi can help you.” And it catches Taehyung off guard and he frowns, pulling back a little to look at Jeongguk properly.

“Yoongi hyung?” he asks, not really following. “Where did you get that idea from?” 

Jeongguk stares first, before he offers a faint smile. “Your collab dropped a few hours ago. Technically, you already have a song released under his label, so it should be easy to get your album to be released the same way, right?” 

And, like someone just dropped a bucket of cold water on Taehyung, he jolts up from bed and gasps. 

“It’s out!? Fuck, that means—” And when he tries to find his phone, he remembers it must be shattered somewhere in his living room. Suddenly, what Jeongguk said falls to the back of his mind because something else occupies his thought. 

It’s his mother’s birthday. 

“What?” Jeongguk is quick to ask as he sits up hastily in worry, sleep long dissipated from his eyes now wide open, and he pulls the blanket to the side. “What happened?”

“Today is—Fuck, how could I forget?” Taehyung mutters and gets himself out of bed. “It’s my mom’s birthday today. I remember when hyung told me the date I was so excited because there was no way I’d forget it, but I still did,” he sighs. 

“Oh,” Jeongguk lets out a sigh of relief when he hears that, a small smile playing on his lips. “A lot happened yesterday,” he tries to reassure, “you’re only human, hyung. And, you have time to wish her a happy birthday, it’s still early in the morning.”

“No, it’s not that, I—I have to go home and celebrate with them. It’s our tradition and I need to give her the gift but I–I can’t go like this, Guk, I’m a mess,” he whispers, starting to panic. 

The last thing he wants is for his family to see him like this. He can’t face them like that, not on his own.

It’s then that his eyes meet Jeongguk’s, still on his bed. 

“Can you come with me?” 

It takes a moment for Jeongguk to answer, but his expression slowly switches from concern to hesitancy, until something seems to flash in his eyes. “You mean—” he tries to speak but suddenly, the words seem to fail him, “—at home?” He repeats, “At your home?” And adds the moment Taehyung notices the slight red tint painting Jeongguk’s cheeks, “With your family?” 

When Taehyung confirms it with a nod, Jeongguk’s eyes dart to the gym clothes he’s still wearing. 

“I can’t,” he begins to say, but quickly clears out that he doesn’t mean to turn down the request, but rather, “I can’t go with these clothes on. I don’t look presentable at all, I can’t meet your family like this.” 

And, surprising both of them, Taehyung laughs.

“You—” he shakes his head, still chuckling. He can’t believe that’s what the younger boy is most worried about.  “Don’t worry about that, I can lend you some clothes,” he offers, but suddenly the image of Jeongguk in his clothes does something to Taehyung’s heart. He doesn’t take the words back, though, and they seem to reassure the younger who sighs in relief. 

“Then, I’ll be there for you, hyung,” he finally tells with a genuine smile. “You don’t have to worry about anything other than enjoying this precious time with your mom.” It is when he shifts closer to the edge of the bed to join Taehyung that he adds, “Let’s keep what happened yesterday behind us, even for just a day. As I told you, we’ll find a solution together. Let us focus on you and your family today. Alright?”

And that… that means more than Taehyung can put into words. 

“Thank you,” he mutters as honestly as he can. “You can shower first, I—I should clean up my living room before Tannie comes home tonight and gets hurt,” he scratches the back of his head. “And I’ll find you something to wear that’s appropriate to meet my family,” Taehyung teases him for what he just said, but the truth is that the sole thought of it makes butterflies flutter in his stomach. 

Jeongguk nods with a smile at the mention of Yeontan. “Thank you, hyung. I'll be quick. I can help you clean the room after.” And with that, he disappears toward the bathroom, not even asking about the places where he could find a towel, or anything he'd need—as if he was already used to Taehyung's apartment like his own. And, considering the fact that it won’t be the first shower Jeongguk takes here, he assumes it might be. 

The memory of their little flour fight and the memory of Jeongguk coming out of the bathroom with the towel around his waist and—

Taehyung almost slaps himself to stop thinking about it.

It’s too early. 

He gets out of the room and sighs when he sees the mess he made the night before. It almost makes him want to cry again to remember the rage in which he threw everything around, shattering it like his hopes and dreams had a few hours prior. 

But he walks to the kitchen to get a broom, careful not to step on any glass since he’s barefoot, and starts to clean up as he hears the sound of the shower running. 

Maybe he should find something for Jeongguk to wear first, actually. 

Once he sweeps the floors, he throws everything away and heads to his walk-in closet to find one of his older suits that might be a bit bigger because, although Jeongguk and him are roughly the same height, it’s no doubt that the younger’s build is much… wider. 

He doesn’t want him to be too formal, though, since he knows the occasion doesn’t really call for a suit-and-tie kind of fit. Besides, Jeongguk wears enough of those already as it is, so maybe something a bit more informal might be good.

He finds the perfect fit and, without meaning to, finds one for himself that matches. 

He hears the water stop and walks to the bathroom and, after gulping, he knocks on the door, opening it just a little, just enough for his voice to get through. 

“I left everything set for you in the bedroom! You can go change when you’re done, I’ll be in the living room,” he announces, biting his lip slightly.

The door opens, then, and it seems that it doesn't bother Jeongguk one bit to reveal himself, just like last time, with a towel wrapped around his lower body. He flashes a smile, nodding, “Thank you, hyung, I'm going now!” and heads to the bedroom as told.

Maybe instead of celebrating his mother’s birthday they’re going to have to celebrate his funeral. It will be Jeongguk’s fault. 

Since the younger is already out, Taehyung walks into the bathroom instead and gets ready for his shower. 

He finds Jeongguk’s clothes from last night on the sink and picks them up to leave them on his laundry basket. He doesn’t mind washing a few more clothes. 

It’s as he drops them down that something falls from his pocket and Taehyung frowns. 

“What—” he whispers as he bends down to pick it up and when he does, his eyes open wide when he sees it. 

It’s him. 

He recognizes the style from when Jeongguk drew him as a tiger with Yeontan that day he was drunk, even though this is much more… serious. 

And it’s beautiful. 

When he looks up at his reflection in the mirror, it’s staring back at him with flushed cheeks but Taehyung would like to argue that it’s due to the condensation in the room and not because this man has decided to draw him so beautifully, managing to get every single detail right. 

He wants to keep this forever. 

Taehyung puts it somewhere safe, grateful that it fell before he put the clothes to wash, otherwise he would’ve never seen it. 

And, as he gets under the water, the smile on his face doesn’t wash off. 

— ♤ —

It is hard to tell when they've become this close. It wasn't long ago when Jeongguk thought that Taehyung despised him, in a way that it would never change. And yet knowing glances, gentle touches, and comforting words were shared. They found themselves lost in each other's embrace, once, twice, and nothing else has ever felt this natural.

It feels like they’ve known each other for longer, and known each other deeper than they do, now. 

Jeongguk would lie if he were to say that he didn't feel his heart skip a beat, and his brain go haywire when he heard Taehyung request for him to accompany him and see his family. A thousand thoughts immediately crowded his mind, but the one that was the louder was about his clothing and—there was, indeed, no way that he'd meet Taehyung's parents looking like that. Nervousness started to coil up in his stomach at that moment, and it never left him. Not even when he splashed freezing cold water on his face, not even when he put on the clothes Taehyung offered him, and even less when they entered the car.

Now here he is, nervously drumming his fingers over the wheel as they head to Taehyung's parents' house. He takes advantage of the fact that the sun visor is down to slide the mirror open and get a quick glance at his hair, before he lifts it up again once he made sure he doesn’t look as messy as when he woke up, earlier. 

He presses his lips together, runs his tongue over them when he feels the slight dryness, and reminds himself to put on some lip balm before they leave the car.

“Do you think this is fine?” Jeongguk clears his throat as he tries to not give out how nervous he feels, and he explains very simply, “My tattoos.” He quickly monitors his own clothes; white pants and a yellow patterned shirt that, unfortunately for him, feels a bit tight around his biceps, although he didn't utter a word about that—all the shirts Taehyung keeps are probably the same size, and the only problem seems to be how tightly the fabric hugs the upper part of Jeongguk's arms, the sleeves short enough to reveal a third of his tattoos. The clothing would probably sit perfectly on Taehyung’s frame, perhaps would be even a bit loose, and it is something else when it is worn by someone who never misses a day at the gym. By someone whose silhouette is definitely bulkier.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Taehyung chuckles and Jeongguk swears he feels him twitch next to him, as if he wanted to reach out and touch them. “I can already see my brother being all over you because of them. He’ll find you so cool .” Next to him, Taehyung clutches the bag where his mother’s gift sits, and Jeongguk wonders for a moment if Taehyung feels the same restlessness as he does.

“You think so?” Jeongguk lets out an amused breath, reaching for the sleeve to try and pull it slightly down, although that is pretty ineffective; the fabric is very quickly pushed up by itself the moment he moves his arm.“I just...” he bites the inside of his cheek as he thinks for a moment, ponders over what he's about to say, and finally asks, “what if I don't make a good, first impression on your parents?” 

What if they don’t like me, or the way I carry myself? 

While his voice grows quieter, he hopes that the warmth he feels spreading over his cheeks isn't visible. Hopes that it isn't so obvious that he's so anxious about meeting Taehyung's family, as if he needs to get their approval. As if he and Taehyung are more than just an employee and his boss. More than acquaintances. More than friends.

And perhaps they are. Though, it is most probably wise to bury those feelings Jeongguk has while he stands in front of Taehyung’s family.

“Hey, look at me,” Taehyung's gentle voice calls when they stop at a red light. “They’re gonna love you, trust me. You don’t—I mean you can just drop me off if you’re not comfortable in joining me, I know I blurted it out of the blue and that maybe you had other plans for today and there’s no actual need for—“ Taehyung starts to blurt, clearly nervous as well, but Jeongguk stops him. 

“I’ll be there with you,” he assures, his sincere and honest eyes holding Taehyung’s gaze, “I’m just nervous about this, but I’m excited to meet them. I should have bought your mom something, though, I feel bad coming empty-handed.” He chuckles and directs his gaze at the road once the light turns green again. “I’ll make up for it the next time,” he promises, and his mention of next time makes his own heart beat loudly in his head. 

Perhaps it is also his own mind that is speaking for him, hoping that this isn’t the first and last time.

“Trust me, you’re enough of a gift,” Taehyung admits as if it didn’t just send Jeongguk’s heart into orbit. “I mean—Um, you know, she’ll probably be happy to hear that I trust someone from my team enough to invite them over,” he tries to fix it, but he speaks so quickly that, even if Jeongguk doesn't steal a glance his way, he can tell he’s blushing.

“I hope so.” Jeongguk bites down a smile, trying to hide and contain his contentment at Taehyung’s words. When he turns to enter a quieter area and follow Taehyung’s indications, Jeongguk blinks curiously. “Is it here?” he asks, thinking that he might have turned a bit too early because he only sees a few fairly new, and huge houses.

“Yep! Right up ahead,” Taehyung points at the last house on the block, the biggest one.

Jeongguk’s mouth is parted in surprise as they arrive, his brain failing to make any coherent sentence out of the words that come up in his mind. It’s not that he never saw these kinds of buildings, it is simply that he never thought that he’d ever find someone who’d own such a luxurious house. He notices the way his hands are starting to sweat around the wheel as he enters the private parking, feeling himself shrink in such a place. “Is this house... new?” he wonders if it comes from Taehyung’s parents or Taehyung himself, although any of those responses wouldn’t erase the feeling he has of not deserving to be here.

“I bought it for them a few years ago,” Taehyung smiles. “It was the very first thing I bought after debuting. I saved for years to get this for them since, when I was a kid, we lived in a pretty small house and, although I was raised well and had no issues I still… I wanted my siblings to have better conditions than we did back then, I guess,” he admits. 

“This is—” Jeongguk has to pause for a moment when he looks back at Taehyung, his chest tight. But it isn’t painful, it’s warm; they haven’t talked much about each other’s family, at least not from Taehyung’s side, and to know that he cares about his family just as much as Jeongguk does makes him break into a warm smile. “This is so nice, hyung. I can’t even imagine how happy that made them.”

“Oh, mom cried so much,” Taehyung laughs at the memory of it. “My dad was reluctant at first, talking about how I’m not supposed to be the one providing for the family or whatever, but I knew he appreciated it as well. They made me promise to never spend money on them again because that was enough, but you know me, I never listen,” he looks at Jeongguk with a knowing smile.

Jeongguk lets out an amused laugh, nodding. He can imagine it clearly, mostly because his own parents had been just the same, although his own gifts were different, for the lack of a decent salary. “I’m sure she’ll love the necklace. After all, you took your time to pick up the perfect gift for her.”

“I hope so… If not, good thing I brought my bodyguard with me to protect me,” he winks at him playfully. They’ve been parked in front of the house for a few minutes now, probably too nervous to move. “So, before we go in, let me tell you a bit about my family. My mom and dad are both retired now, but they had a store downtown where we used to live. I used to help out sometimes in between my classes when we lived there. My sister Eunjin is in college now. She’ll probably fall in love with you, though, be careful. And my brother Jonggyu is still in high school and likes gaming more than studying to my mother’s dismay,” he chuckles. “He’s a good kid, though. They both are.” 

Jeongguk nods at each and every word, his smile growing bigger as he notices how bright Taehyung’s eyes start to shine when he talks about his family members. “Sounds like they’re all really nice,” and he wasn’t expecting otherwise from someone as compassionate and kindhearted as Taehyung—his personality must come from a family just as kind. Although Jeongguk felt for a moment that the nervous knot in his stomach had disappeared, he feels warmth spreading at the nape of his neck when he suggests, “Should we go in, now?” 

“Yeah, we don’t want to be late,” Taehyung smiles and takes a deep breath as if he was hyping himself up to open the door as well. 

Here we go. 

— ✧ —

The second they walk through the front gate, Taehyung can’t help but smile hearing Yeontan’s barks from inside. He considers ringing the doorbell, but that will only set off the dog even more, so he takes out his set of keys and opens the gate first, holding it so that Jeongguk can walk in as well. 

He can see how nervous the younger boy feels next to him, and it’s incredibly endearing. 

To be fair, Taehyung is quite nervous himself as well, since this is the first time that he’s bringing… well, anyone home. 

They walk the small pebble road that joins the front gate and the building and, when he opens the door, Yeontan runs out to greet the both of them. 

“Hi, baby, hey,” Taehyung chuckles, bending down to pick him up and lets him lick his chin. 

It’s been a few days since he saw him, because once he gets really busy at work, he tends to ask one of his siblings to bring it to his parents’ so that he is taken care of properly. He’s missed him, though. 

“Okay, enough, come on,” Taehyung smiles and sees the way Jeongguk is looking at them and there goes another arrow through his heart. It’s impossible to count how many have pierced him already. “Say hi to Guk, yeah?” And, when he puts him down, he runs to Jeongguk, trying for him to pick him up as well. “Careful with the pants!” He laughs looking at them.

“Hey, big boy,” Jeongguk laughs as he picks the small dog up and tries to caress his chin but it’s impossible with how excitedly Yeontan moves in his arms.

“Tan-ah!” A voice comes from inside. “Come o–oh! Taehyung!” His mother appears, apron on and a glowing smile on his face. “You made it!” And she wraps his arms around Taehyung easily, who chuckles and hugs her back. 

“Of course, I did. Happy birthday, mom. You look as youthful as ever,” he smiles at her, and she rolls her eyes, knowing he’s mocking her. 

It’s then that her eyes land on Jeongguk’s figure, holding Yeontan and waiting a few steps further. 

“Oh, by the way, sorry for not warning you in advance but—This is Jeongguk,” Taehyung introduces him nervously. He hopes it’s not obvious, though. “He’s my new bodyguard. I—I asked him to come.” 

“Taehyung!” His mother gasps. “You should’ve told me before! Oh, the house is a mess.” But Taehyung laughs, knowing there’s a high chance that it’s not true. “It’s lovely to meet you, Jeongguk,” and she cleans her hands on her apron before he offers one to Jeongguk. “And welcome to our home!”

“The pleasure is mine.” Jeongguk puts Yeontan down and bows immediately as he greets her, a timid smile on his lips when he lets go of her hand. “Thank you for welcoming me here today. I wish that this birthday brings you health and happiness for another great year.”

“Oh, what a sweet boy! Thank you, thank you. Come on in!” Taehyung’s mom beams at Jeongguk’s words. “Kids! Your brother’s here!” The woman yells once she walks back into the house. Taehyung stays behind and offers Jeongguk one last smile before heading inside. 

One done, three to go. 

“Oppa!” Eunjin calls, getting up from the sofa and, as expected, her eyes dart straight to Jeongguk. “Um, oppa?” 

“Don’t ‘oppa’ him, he’s Jeongguk-ssi to you,” Taehyung chuckles walking inside and hugging her sister. “Did you get taller?” He frowns, pulling back. 

“I’m wearing heels, dummy,” Eunjin chuckles. “Hello, Jeongguk-ssi, is it?” And she blushes looking at him. To be fair, Taehyung can’t really blame her. 

Behind him, Taehyung spots his mother fuzzing about trying to organize the living room a bit even though it’s spotless. He can’t help but smile at the sight. 

“It is, it’s nice to meet you, Eunjin-ah.” Jeongguk smiles at her, recalling her name from Taehyung’s words earlier, before he whispers, and pretends that what he says should stay between them, although Taehyung can hear him, “No need to be so formal, I’m your brother’s friend after all.” And, like he has to whisper something back at Taehyung, he leans closer to him to say, “She has the same smile as you do,” Taehyung bites his lip at that, blushing slightly.

“Hear that, oppa? He gave me permission!” Eunjin smiles happily before their mother calls her for something and she goes reluctantly.

“That’s it, now you’ll have to marry her, I’m afraid,” Taehyung sighs with a playful smile, while Jeongguk lets out an amused laugh. “Mom, where’s—” But, before he can finish the sentence, a groan is heard from the living room. “There he is,” he chuckles. “Hey, Jonggyu!” he calls his youngest sibling, that seems to be struggling with some kind of game. 

“One sec, hyung!” he says back. This brat. He reminds him of Taehyung when he was his age, only that, instead of games, he was always focused on music. 

“You shouldn’t have gifted him that game, Taehyung-ah; it’s driving him mad,” Another voice comes from behind them, then, and Taehyung turns to see his father come out of the kitchen. “Ah, I see why your sister was so happy to see you today,” he chuckles when he sees Jeongguk. 

“Hey, dad,” Taehyung hugs him. “This is Jeongguk, my new bodyguard and friend,” he smiles. Since he’s got his back turned to Jeongguk, he can’t see it. “I’m assuming you guys made enough food for him too, right?” he chuckles.

“You know we did. Pleasure to meet you, son,” his father turns to Jeongguk, then. “It’s nice that Taehyung brought a friend home.” Taehyung tries not to panic at the connotations in his words. 

Offering another polite bow, Jeongguk greets him, his smile shy yet once again and Taehyung doesn’t know if it’s because of his father’s words, or something else. “Thank you for accepting that I join you on this important day,” he tells with grateful eyes.

“Of course! The more, the merrier,” his father smiles. “Come on, lunch is almost ready,” and, after that, he heads back into the kitchen. 

Yeontan keeps running around their feet and Taehyung isn’t sure how come he’s not tired yet, but it’s cute. 

“Looks like he’s happy to see you, too,” Taehyung notices, looking at him. “Come on, let’s meet my brother.” And he reaches out to hold his hand but stops halfway, pretending to remove a loose strand from Jeongguk’s shirt instead. 

The younger seems to notice that as he bites down an amused smile and nods before he follows Taehyung closely, whispering before they walk inside the living room, “Now I know where you got that handsome face of yours.” 

Taehyung gasps before playfully adding,

“Here I was, worried about my sister when I should’ve been looking out for my dad instead? I see, I see,” he chuckles when Jeongguk’s eyes open widely. “I’m kidding,” he whispers back and they walk into the living room. “Hey, kid! I wanna introduce someone to you, be polite,” he calls and his brother reluctantly pauses the game, but, when he turns around, his mouth drops seeing Jeongguk. “Now he pays attention,” he laughs. 

“Hyung!” he gets up and walks their way. 

“I brought you a friend, Jonggyu, this is Jeongguk,” he smiles.

“Wow, hyung, he’s—he’s so cool.” And he seems stunned. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Jonggyu.” Jeongguk lets out an amused breath at the reaction Taehyung’s brother has, mentioning the TV when he asks, casually, “What are you playing? It looks so fun.” And it doesn’t seem to be just a mindless question, he genuinely looks interested, and it is nice to see that Jeongguk wants to know more about the members of Taehyung’s family, and that he isn’t here just because Taehyung asked him to. He is here because he wants it, too.

“It’s Red Dead Redemption 2! Hyung got it for me for Christmas. Wanna play with me?” Jonggyu asks and he looks at Taehyung as if he was asking for permission. 

“Why are you looking at me?” Taehyung chuckles. “Dad said lunch is almost ready, though, so you might want to leave that for later, Gyu.” And that doesn’t seem to please his brother much. “You can stay here, I’ll go see if they need something in the kitchen,” he tells Jeongguk, then, who also seems eager to play the game. 

With a quick nod, Jeongguk turns to Jonggyu, a wide smile on his lips. And, when Taehyung leaves the living room, he hears Jeongguk tell, excitedly, “I heard that this game has a wide choice of wild animals that you can hunt, let’s try to catch something big before lunch!” He can’t help the smile that spreads across his lips upon hearing it. 

It’s not easy for Jonggyu to get along with people like that, so he’s glad he feels comfortable with Jeongguk even though they just met. 

“Where did you leave your friend, Taehyung?” his father asks, and he can tell by his tone that he’s teasing him. The smiles on his mother and his sister’s lips mean they’ve been gossiping about him. Without him. 

Rude. 

“Jonggyu kidnapped him,” he admits. “Need any help around here?” He asks and walks to hug her sister’s back. She tries to get rid of him, but eventually, she gives in. 

“I’m glad to see you’re enjoying that shirt I got for you last year, Taehyung-ah,” his mom says then, and he frowns. He’s not wearing a shirt. What shirt—

But he remembers, then. 

The shirt he gave Jeongguk to wear was actually a gift from his mother. Out of all the shirts he could’ve chosen—

“He’s hot,” Eunjin points out the obvious. Taehyung decides not to comment on that. “You’re even wearing couple outfits!” 

“He’s just a friend,” he repeats, almost as if he was trying to convince himself more than anyone else. “A good friend. He’s my bodyguard,” he reminds them. 

“He’s the first person you’ve ever brought home, Taehyung-ah. That must mean something,” his mother smiles, then, sweetly. “Why did you bring him?”

And Taehyung hates that he doesn’t know. That he can’t give them an answer that feels good enough to explain. He just felt like he needed him there after last night, but he doesn’t want to talk about last night at all. 

“If he’s just a friend, can I have him, oppa?” Eunjin asks still from his arms and Taehyung shoots her a deadly stare. 

“Absolutely not.” 

That must answer all their questions at once, because all they do is giggle and move on. 

He’s that obvious, huh?  

— ♤ —

Jeongguk thought that he’d feel out of place, that no matter what he’d do, he wouldn’t be able to make a good impression on Taehyung’s parents. However, the moment he entered, the moment he met them, it was as if the weight he was holding on his shoulders simply disappeared. They made him feel comfortable, welcomed him with such warm and kind smiles that he almost felt silly for even thinking that there was a possibility that they wouldn’t like him. 

What made warmth bloom inside his chest, too, was to see how close they all seemed to be, and how important family is to Taehyung, just like it is for Jeongguk. It’s reassuring. They seem to be more similar than he thought they were.

And, although he felt nervous to meet with Taehyung’s parents, it seems that he immediately clicked with his siblings, and especially Jonggyu who’s now very eagerly explaining the storyline of the game, and how far he already is. 

“You’re at chapter four?” Jeongguk asks when Jonggyu offers him the controller to try and play, just like he told him. “We should get you the Legend of the East satchel before you finish this part of the story!” 

“I know! I’ve been trying to get it but hunting cougars scares me a little,” Jonggyu admits with a disappointed face, and it seems that Jeongguk is determined to take the matter into his hands.

“Let me do it for you! I’ll get you the perfect pelts you need.” True to his word, Jeongguk manages to get through the game’s map and catch the materials Jonggyu needs to craft the legendary satchel—an important item that would help him a lot throughout the rest of the game. While he does it, Jonggyu stares, transfixed and impressed by the fact that, although it is the very first time Jeongguk is playing, he manages to do everything with such rapidity and precision. 

They get too lost into the game, excited screams filling the room when they unlock the item, that they don’t even see nor hear when Taehyung calls them for lunch. 

“Come on, gamers, time for lunch,” he chuckles entering into the living room. “Are ya winning son, or whatever?” 

While Jeongguk pauses and saves the game into an empty slot, Jonggyu jumps to his feet with excitement. “He hunted for me! We got the Legend of the East satchel, hyung!” 

Jeongguk laughs at that, puts the controller down on the table and stands to join Taehyung. “Sorry, I got too excited when your brother showed me all the possibilities in the game,” he smiles.

“That’s awesome!” Taehyung tells his brother, even though he probably has no idea what the boy is talking about and looks at Jeongguk before he smiles sweetly. “Don’t worry. It’s hard to see him this excited,” he admits once his brother has headed to the bathroom to wash his hands and it’s just the two of them alone. 

Jeongguk has to mentally fight back the urge to come closer, to take Taehyung’s hands into his. He offers a warm smile, talking a bit more quietly, “They’re all so kind to me, hyung. I don’t even know why I was so scared.” He chuckles faintly, and he can’t help but take a step closer. “Thank you for inviting me to come with you.”

“I told you, didn’t I?” Taehyung smiles and bumps his shoulder with Jeongguk’s. “Come on, the best is yet to come: my parent’s food.” And, this time, when Taehyung reaches for his hand, he does take it. 

Biting down a smile, Jeongguk gently tightens his hold on Taehyung’s hand, glancing at them once before he meets Taehyung’s eyes again. “I am truly the luckiest fan, aren’t I? Kim Taehyung’s parents cooking for me, who would have thought?” he teases, an amused smile on his lips.

“I should’ve known this was all an elaborate plan to brag to your fellow Taehyung fans…” Taehyung teases back as they head to the living room where the rest of the Kim family is already waiting for them. The smell of the food makes Jeongguk’s stomach rumble and it’s then that he remembers they didn’t even have breakfast this morning. 

“I hope you’re hungry,” Taehyung’s mom giggles at them when they walk in and he sees the full table. 

“Woah,” Jeongguk breathes out, amazed by how much food there is. And if he wasn’t hungry before, now he surely is. “Everything looks so good. Thank you for welcoming me, today,” he thanks again with another bow, definitely grateful. It is when he notices that Eunjin is staring at his and Taehyung’s hand that he realizes they’re still holding hands—and that makes him not-so-subtly let it go, and clear out his throat in hopes that nobody else saw that. “Where do you usually sit?” he asks Taehyung when they head to the two empty chairs.

“Next to Jonggyu, but I’ll let you sit there today,” he chuckles and sits next to his mother instead. Taehyung’s sibling seems more than happy to get to sit next to him again. 

“Will we get to play again together?” Jonggyu asks excitedly, and that has Jeongguk smile, amused.

“If your brother allows me to come back,” he steals a glance at Taehyung, and he sees it in the way the latter presses his lips together than he understood the meaning behind those words, a silent mention of next time, “I’ll play with you anytime again.” 

“Yay!” Jonggyu claps, overjoyed. 

When he raises his head to look at Taehyung’s parents, he smiles with the same gratitude shining in his eyes. “Thank you for the food.”

“Please, enjoy,” Taehyung’s father says and he starts serving the food.

Jeongguk offers a bow of his head as his plate gets filled with the traditional seaweed soup, and various side dishes. It smells so good, and Jeongguk can’t help but frown the very moment he tries the soup. If he were at home, alone, he’d definitely start to dance out of happiness—it is just how tasty it is. And not only that, but it reminds him of his mom’s cooking, too. “It’s so good!” he exclaims, and he turns to Taehyung when he adds, with the same frown on his face, “How come you never bring your parents’ cooking to your own place? It’s a crime!” 

Taehyung laughs, covering his mouth. 

“I’ve been saying the same thing, thank you!” his mother says, but Taehyung just waves them off.

“I have enough money to get food delivered home, mom. I don’t want to bother you, you know that,” Taehyung explains but Jeongguk sees how his mother rolls his eyes, clearly not agreeing with his son’s logic. 

“If you’re gonna be having someone over often, you should at least take some, oppa,” Eunjin adds and Taehyung shoots her a glance that she decides to ignore. “I mean, we could bring you food whenever we go pick Tan up. At least for Jeongguk oppa’ s sake.” 

Jeongguk chokes on his drink at what she insinuates, reaching to press the napkin against his mouth, hoping that the slight flush on his cheeks isn’t so visible, either. “I don’t come that often, I’m just doing my job as his bodyguard,” he tries to explain clumsily, although he isn’t that convincing. After all, if he is here , eating with Taehyung’s family on his mother’s birthday, it isn’t because he is a simple bodyguard. “But I appreciate the thought.” 

Thankfully, before they can say anything else on this topic that will make either Jeongguk or Taehyung choke to death, Jonggyu, who seems to be oblivious to all of it, speaks again. 

“Mom, can I get tattoos like Jeongguk hyung?” the youngest asks, still taken aback by them. Jeongguk sees how Taehyung bites his lips not to laugh. 

“You’re not even eighteen yet, kid!” his sister points out. “You know how long it took them to let me get my ears pierced again?” 

“Hyung got his pierced at fifteen!” he seems to rebut and Taehyung chuckles. 

“I mean, that wasn’t really my choice, buddy,” he points out, and although nobody seems to react differently to those words, Jeongguk’s chest tightens when he hears them. 

“Maybe in a few years, Jonggyu. You’re still too young,” his mother says and the boy groans, disappointed. 

“Did they hurt?” he asks Jeongguk, all eyes back on him now. 

And here he thought that his tattoos would be an issue. 

Letting out an amused breath, Jeongguk shakes his head. “No, I have a high tolerance for pain. Almost slept through all of them,” he laughs, slightly pulling the sleeve up, although he can’t do much with how tight it is around his arm. “They go up all the way to my shoulder. And I started getting them only two years ago, so, take your time to think about it, and not regret any of them. Alright?” He did, after all, had to cover up some of his own tattoos in the short time he started getting them, so he wouldn’t want to encourage anyone to get them without thinking twice.

“Okay, I will!” The boy says with a smile before he resumes eating. And, out of the blue, Jeongguk feels a hand reaching over to squeeze his under the table, and when he turns, he sees Taehyung smiling at him. 

Jeongguk smiles back at him and, before Taehyung could draw his hand back, he intertwines their fingers, taking advantage of the fact that nobody can see them. A hidden, gentle gesture, warm touches that express both Jeongguk’s gratitude... and love. 

— ✧ —

“Happy birthday to you!” they all sing at the same time as Eunjin and Jonggyu take out the birthday cake for their mother. 

His sister had sent Taehyung a picture when she ordered it a few days ago to get his approval, and it looks even better in person. 

It’s quite big, but that’s what his mom deserves. 

“Make a wish, mom!” Jonggyu says while Taehyung picks Yeontan up from the floor so he doesn’t miss this moment and his sister films the whole thing. 

His mom laughs and closes his eyes, ready for her wish. Taehyung’s eyes find Jeongguk’s where he stands next to him. 

He looks so much more relaxed now, much more at ease and Taehyung can’t help but thrive in how well he belongs there. With them. With him. 

His mom blows out the candles and they all clap, ready to enjoy the cake. 

“It’s such a pretty cake, Jinnie! I feel bad,” their mom laughs picking up a cake cutter. 

“Let me do it,” Taehyung father offers and the woman nods. 

“Time for presents!” Taehyung says then, and he hands Yeontan to Jeongguk even though he’s well aware he could’ve left the puppy on the floor and goes get his bag. 

“Presents?! Taehyung!” his mother is quick to reprimand, but he just giggles and kisses her cheek as he drops the bag on her lap. 

“Happy birthday, mom,” he says again and her eyes well up. 

“I knew you didn’t have a girlfriend. There’s no way you wouldn’t have told me,” Eunjin laughs, then, and they all look at her. “What? I keep up with the news about you, oppa.” 

And he’d almost forgotten about the whole rumors thing. Almost. 

“Yeah, you two are the only women in my life,” Taehyung chuckles then and waits for his mother to open the present. “You can’t return it, mom!” he lets out when his mother looks shocked. 

“But it’s too much!” she says. 

“It’s from all of us,” Taehyung smiles, even though he didn’t ask his siblings. But he always does this. Even when they were younger, Taehyung always took responsibility for them. If they got in trouble, he took the blame. And if he did something good, he shared the glory. 

“My babies,” she sighs and gets up to hug them all. “Thank you,” And it’s when she heads to hug Jeongguk that Taehyung’s heart does a funny thing. “I keep up with the news, too,” she says before she hugs Jeongguk and Taehyung sees the panic in his eyes. 

“I didn’t do anything, it was your son that chose it,” Jeongguk chuckles nervously as he still hugs her back timidly, as if he isn’t sure that he can, that he is allowed to be this close to Taehyung’s family. He always looks so careful around them, always so respectful.

“Nonsense,” his mother says and lets go. “Come on, let’s eat some cake! Taehyung, darling, put this on me, please,” and she hands him the box so he can do so. He picks up the necklace carefully, all the bad memories he had regarding it now being replaced by this. 

It was worth it. 

He sits back at the table and leans in closer to Jeongguk. 

“Sorry about that, she’s quite emotional,” he giggles a bit. 

Jeongguk dismisses it with a wave of his hand, an amused smile on his lips. “Don’t worry, she’s very sweet. I told you that she’d love the gift. You chose it well.” 

“You did help a bit,” he smiles and pulls back before he does something stupid like kiss him silly right there. 

“Jeongguk oppa,” Eunjin calls for him, then. Taehyung glares at her, worried of what might come out of her smart little mouth.

Jeongguk, on the other side, simply looks curious when he turns his head to look at Eunjin with attentive eyes. “Yes?”

“Why did you start working for Taehyung? You look like you could be an idol yourself,” she asks after she takes a bite of the cake.

“Ah,” Jeongguk lets out a sheepish laugh, stealing a shy glance at Taehyung before he looks back at Eunjin. “Looks don’t mean anything if one isn’t able to pour their heart into the songs they interpret or compose. Not anybody can be an idol. And...” he seems to pause for a moment, subtly playing with the spoon he has between his fingers as if he’s weighing the words on his tongue. “Although he doesn’t know, your brother has helped me gain back my love for art, and working for him has been on my mind since I saw him, I guess,” he ends with another timid chuckle. “I wanted to work for my muse.” 

And, the first thing that pops up in Taehyung’s brain when he hears that is the drawing he found this morning, the portrait Jeongguk drew of him, and he can’t stop staring at Jeongguk, then. 

He feels like the spark that he’d been feeling in his heart whenever he was near the younger just caught fire to the point that his entire being is aflame. 

And he needs to get out of there.

“Excuse me a second,” Taehyung says, standing up and heads to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Or champagne, whatever he finds first. 

He needs to calm down, needs to shut down his own heart before it’s too late. 

“Are you alright?” He hears his mother come into the kitchen a little bit after him. Her smile shows that she can see right through him. 

“Yeah, just needed some water,” he replies, even if he’s got no glass in his hands. His mother just nods as she walks to him and holds his face between her hands. 

“Don’t run away from something good just because you’re scared, Taehyung-ah,” she whispers to him, meeting his eyes, and Taehyung feels his throat tighten after her words. “Whether he’s just a friend or not, I can see how much he cares about you, and how much you like him, too,” she smiles. 

“But—” 

“I know,” she nods. Does she? 

Does she know that every single time he’s tried to love, he’s been hurt? Does she know that his bodyguards in the past have hurt him more than protected him? Does she know that every time he sees Jeongguk smile he feels like the world lights up a little? 

Does she? 

“Come on, let’s go back, or else both your siblings will scare him off,” the woman laughs and, after picking the bottle of champagne, she heads back to the living room. 

Taehyung sees his brother talking Jeongguk’s ear off while his sister watches them from across the table.

Yeah, he should go rescue him. 

“Alright,” Jeongguk gives in to something Jonggyu probably begged him for, “When you’re of age, I’ll teach you how to ride a motorcycle.” And, as Taehyung approaches them, Jeongguk turns his attention to him and worry suddenly flashes through his eyes, observing Taehyung as if he’s searching for any sign of panic or hurt. Always so attentive. Always so caring. “Hyung, are you feeling alright?” 

And Taehyung wants to bend down and kiss him. More than ever. 

“Yeah, all good,” he smiles and sits back down. “And no, you’re not teaching my brother how to ride a bike.” At that, Jonggyu whines and Eunjin laughs. 

“You heard him,” Jeongguk tells when he looks back at Jonggyu, and chuckles at the disappointed face. And, this time, it is him who reaches for Taehyung’s hand, and meets his eyes with a silent question in them. Are you sure you’re alright? Perhaps. It is easy to read those expressive, worried eyes. Taehyung responds with a squeeze. 

— ♤ —

“Thank you again for having me today, it was nice meeting you,” Jeongguk bows one last time to the family as he and Taehyung are about to leave. “The food was delicious.” 

“Thank you for coming, dear! It was lovely to meet you,” Taehyung’s mother hugs him again. “Drive safely, alright?” 

“Don’t worry, mom,” Taehyung chuckles and hugs her again. Jeongguk thinks that the woman whispers something to Taehyung, but he doesn’t catch it. 

Jeongguk waves goodbye to everyone, grin to his face, before he leaves by Taehyung’s side to walk up to his car. “Your family is awesome,” he comments happily, opening the door for Taehyung to enter the car before he walks to his own side and takes place next to him. “I will definitely have to buy your parents something next time.” And here he goes again. Next time. And it isn’t that he does it on purpose, but rather than it simply feels natural for him to talk about it. “By the way,” he begins to say as he leaves the parking, stealing a quick glance at Taehyung when he asks, “I saw that you weren’t feeling so good at some point. I should have checked on you before you joined us again. Are you feeling better?” 

Some people might say that he cares too much, that he asks too much, but when it comes to those who he loves... he can’t help but feel the need to reassure. To help. To comfort, at any time.

“I told you, I was fine,” Taehyung replies with a smile. “I just—I got a bit overwhelmed for a second, but I’m good, I promise. And you see? I was right. They loved you,” he says as if there’s something on the tip of his tongue that he’s dying to say, but doesn’t.

A sigh of relief escapes Jeongguk’s lips, and he nods with an amused smile. “You were right. It was lovely to meet them.” 

A comfortable silence settles between them during the short ride home, and Jeongguk can’t help but smile as he recalls how comfortable Taehyung’s family made him feel as soon as he met them—oblivious of the glances Taehyung steals at him.

It is only when they arrive at the parking lot that Jeongguk turns to meet Taehyung’s eyes. And it is at that moment that Jeongguk’s heart jumps, and starts thumping into his ears. Something in those eyes makes him suddenly lose his capability to form even one coherent sentence. “I—uh... Should we—I mean,” if his mind didn’t wander the way it did, he would have laughed at his own clumsy words. But instead, he stares. Stares into those deep, intense eyes, before his eyes travel not-so-subtly down to those lips.

And Taehyung stares right back at him, then. Stares for a few seconds before he whispers, 

“Thank you, Guk. You know, I don’t think you know this either, but you have helped me gain back my love for music, as well. It’s easy to write songs again, it’s easy when my inspiration is in front of me,” he admits, biting the inside of his lip, nervously. “Or, rather, what did you call it? My muse?” 

Words seem to fail Jeongguk once again as warmth starts to spread over his cheeks. He had been talking so freely, not even thinking twice about Taehyung calling him his muse, that he didn’t realize just how much it would affect him to hear the same word falling from Taehyung’s lips. When he takes a breath in, he has to ball his hand into a fist to stop himself from leaning in, from reaching for Taehyung’s cheek, from— “You can’t just blurt that out of nowhere,” although he was the first to have done it. But at that time, he didn’t know just how it would set his heart into an erratic pace.

And Taehyung has the nerve to smile. 

“Why not? You did,” and he leans in just ever so slightly. “Now you see why I was overwhelmed.” And he closes his eyes, then, as if he was willing himself to stop. Jeongguk sees him gulp before he takes a deep breath in. “But I’m tired, Jeongguk. I’m tired of running from something good just because I’m scared. And I’m terrified,” he opens his eyes again and finds his. “But—” 

The rest of his sentence dies against soft, warm lips that press against his. 

The thousand questions that were running in circles in Jeongguk’s mind disappear, too, to be replaced by that warm feeling of love blooming in his chest. His fingers find their way to the nape of Taehyung’s neck, his eyelids falling, the kiss so gentle and yet so passionate. They’re not rushing anything, taking the time to fall into each other, and although there’s no urgency in the way they deepen the kiss, they do so like it is the first, and the last time. Like lovers who have just found each other after years of being apart. Taehyung’s hands find his face and keeps him close, kissing him back with such passion Jeongguk fears he’ll gladly give up the air he’s got left for him. 

It’s a zooming car that breaks the trance, them breaking apart to stare at each other, wide-eyed. Taehyung presses his lips together to avoid smiling, but ultimately fails. 

“Come upstairs with me?” he asks in a whisper, the unsaid let’s not risk getting caught clear. 

Like he needs a moment to jump out of that dizzy state caused by those soft lips, Jeongguk breathes in and out calmly before he breaks into a relieved sigh, as if he finally let his heart speak for him, as if he finally let go of all those overwhelming emotions. The silly smile on his lips already tells what his response is, but he still nods. “Let’s go,” he whispers back, and Taehyung steals a quick kiss from him before he gets out of the car and rushes inside the building, closely followed by Jeongguk. 

When they enter the elevator, and after Taehyung presses the button to his floor, Jeongguk wraps him into a warm embrace from where he stands behind him, and presses a kiss behind Taehyung’s ear. 

Murmuring, “Can you call me that again?” And he knows that Taehyung gets what he means, he knows because it is the word that set his heart aflame.

“Mhm, my muse?” he smiles, seeing their reflection in the elevator’s mirror. 

Jeongguk hums, content, and presses his lips against the nape of Taehyung’s neck before the doors open, and he lets go of Taehyung for them to almost run to his apartment’s door, their silly laughs filling the corridor.

“Wait, I think I forgot my code,” Taehyung gasps when they get there. “No, no, I remember, I didn’t change it today,” he says almost to himself before he presses the numbers. When the door opens, he pulls Jeongguk in by his shirt and kisses him again. 

And Jeongguk willingly falls, smile breaking their kiss for a moment before he captures Taehyung’s lips again. They kick their shoes off into the hallway, the door closed behind them, and Jeongguk then wraps his arms around Taehyung’s waist as he lets Taehyung guide him further into the apartment. Too lost in each other, they don’t even see the folded carpet behind Taehyung, but Jeongguk pulls him closer before he trips, his amused chuckle muffled against Taehyung’s lips. 

“We should be careful,” Taehyung whispers against his lips, brushing their noses together before he captures Jeongguk’s lips once more. His kisses are so addictive that he’s not sure how he’s ever meant to stop. 

“We should,” Jeongguk agrees with a laugh, quickly reaching for the handle of the door Taehyung almost fell against. It seems like it is useless to remind each other to be careful when their attention fully is captured by the other. “Do you use a peach lip balm?” he asks, and kisses Taehyung yet once again when they enter his bedroom, as if Jeongguk needs to be sure about the sweet taste he recognized.

Taehyung giggles and it might be the best sound Jeongguk’s ever heard. 

“Maybe,” he licks his own lips. “Are my lips sweet, Gukie?” he whispers and reaches over to hold his hand and walk him to the bed. The blanket Taehyung covered him with this morning still on top of the bed.

Jeongguk hums, biting down on his lower lip when he watches Taehyung lie down, and climbs on the bed right after. “So sweet I could taste them all day,” he murmurs back, leaning in to press their lips together, the tip of his fingers gently caressing Taehyung’s waist when he does so.  

“Good thing my schedule is free, then,” he speaks against his lips once more, gentle, so sweet. 

“Mh, what should we do, then?” Jeongguk wonders between soft kisses. “Because if you offer me those,” another kiss, “I won’t know when to stop,” another one, “and you risk waking up with the most swollen lips you’ve ever had.” This time, he giggles at the simple thought of them losing themselves to each other so much that the only thing capable of making them stop them would be the pain prickling their skin.

“Tempting,” he brushes his tongue against Jeongguk’s lower lip. “But… wanna watch a movie?” Taehyung lifts himself up and looks at Jeongguk with those eyes he could never say no to. There’s something else in those eyes, though. Maybe fear of getting too far too quickly. 

Jeongguk hums with a reassuring smile, rolling to the side so as to lie next to Taehyung. He reaches to brush the stray clumps of hair out of Taehyung’s eyes, and runs his fingers through his hair, too, hoping that the gesture calms the sudden, barely noticeable panic Jeongguk observes on Taehyung’s face. He’s learned to recognize every sign of it, and the need to reassure Taehyung in those moments comes instinctively to him. “Sounds nice,” he agrees. And adds with an amused smile, “A horror movie?” 

“Oh so you do wanna keep making out, I see,” Taehyung chuckles and gets up from bed to go get his laptop. “You’re not smooth, Jeon.”

“And here I thought I was,” Jeongguk sighs with a dramatic expression before he breaks into a laugh, and sits up just enough to press a gentle kiss against Taehyung’s jaw when the latter climbs back on the bed. “Hyung,” he calls to make Taehyung look back at him, “do you think your mom noticed something?” Jeongguk doesn’t exactly know why the thought comes to his mind now, but he recalls the subtle glances from Taehyung’s mother, the knowing smiles and the quiet words whispered into Taehyung’s ear when they left.

“Oh, she definitely did,” Taehyung chuckles turning the laptop on. “She knew the second we walked in; she gifted me this shirt a year ago,” he points out signaling the shirt Jeongguk is wearing. “Plus, my sister kept flirting with you.” 

Jeongguk looks back at the shirt he’s wearing, blinking confusedly. “You—?” He has to pause for a moment to think before he asks, “Did you do it on purpose?” And he doesn’t sound neither mad nor betrayed, but rather embarrassed by the fact that he walked in wearing that shirt, oblivious of where it came from. “You should have told me!” he breathes out a faint chuckle, hiding his face in his hands. “I can’t believe she saw that.”

“I didn’t! I forgot,” Taehyung admits, chuckling too. “I didn’t even notice we were matching either until later. I just thought you’d look hot and I was right,” Taehyung shrugs, smiling like he’s pleased he can actually say it out loud now. 

And that pleases Jeongguk, too. “Did you see yourself?” he smirks, lifting himself up to nose the crook of Taehyung’s neck. “You don’t know how hard it was to stop myself from kissing you all day. You make my heart go insane.”

“Good thing you don’t need to anymore,” And he turns again to capture his lips. “Well, maybe in public, but not right now,” he chuckles again and presses another quick kiss.

“Don’t worry, I know how to stay professional,” he says with an amused tone before he shifts closer to prop his chin over Taehyung’s shoulder, and wrap an arm around his waist. “Which movie are we watching?” 

“Let’s just play shuffle on Netflix,” Taehyung chuckles, finding his hand and entwining their fingers together, snuggling closer against Jeongguk. 

A satisfied hum slips past Jeongguk’s lips, comfortable with how close they are that he can feel Taehyung’s calm heartbeat against his chest. “Oh, it’s Spirited Away!” Jeongguk tells excitedly when the movie starts playing. “It’s been so long, I don’t remember much, but if you’ve never seen it, hyung, you’ll surely love it.”

“I’m sure I will,” Taehyung smiles and puts the laptop away so that they can lie down comfortably. 

How could life get any better than this? 

— ✧ —

Although Taehyung tries (he really does) to pay attention to the movie, to the plot, to the characters, the truth is that he can’t stop thinking about what happened. 

About how they kissed in Jeongguk’s car, how, despite Taehyung’s fears, they both seemed to feel the same. 

It makes him warm to think about, even warmer while he’s currently in Jeongguk’s arms. The younger keeps dropping kisses along his skin every now and then, and it makes the butterflies in his stomach fly permanently. 

The fact that, when things started to get heated up, Jeongguk agreed to stop and watch a movie, the fact that he held him and made sure that Taehyung felt safe… it might be because he’s not used to it, but the truth is that he appreciates it more than words can say. 

He tries to focus back on the movie and suddenly there’s a dragon that he doesn’t remember seeing, but, at the thought of the earlier actions from Jeongguk, Taehyung feels the need to turn around enough to capture his lips again. Just because. 

After all, now, he can. 

His mother’s words echo in his brain and although he knows it’s risky, although he’s still scared, he also wants this. He wants Jeongguk.

He kisses him again and smiles against the younger’s lips when he whines. 

“What, am I interrupting your favorite part?” Taehyung mutters. 

“You’re distracting me,” Jeongguk complains, although there’s a smile threatening to pull the corners of his lips up. And, as if he’s seeking for a sweet revenge, he captures Taehyung’s lips with such intensity that they almost roll over to their side, before he lets go with a victorious smile. “Remember, I bite. I’m as fierce as Yeontan!” Taehyung laughs at that, with Jeongguk almost on top of him now. 

“You surely are, darling,” And his hands reach Jeongguk’s hair, then, getting lost in it and pulling a bit. “Should we continue it tomorrow? I kinda feel like distracting you some more,” he admits and bites Jeongguk’s lower lip to pull down with him until he’s kissing him again. 

With one hand on Taehyung’s hips and a smile over his lips, Jeongguk reaches with the other and shuts the laptop down. 

He’ll take it as a yes. 

Chapter Text

Lucky.

Jeongguk finds himself to be the luckiest man alive—and somehow, that seems to be a shared feeling between those who are seeing the world through the eyes of a man besotted by another. When love comes into one’s life, fairly new, innocent, and pure, it feels like nothing could break this happiness. That nothing could ever go wrong.

Even the birds chirping in the morning sound like they’re singsonging for Jeongguk and the love he’s experiencing. It sounds like they want to take a peek, too, curious about that new feeling that has developed between them.

The morning sunlight peeks through the blinds and warms Jeongguk’s skin. He wakes up first, his body wrapped around Taehyung’s, their legs tangled, and his fingers already lost in Taehyung’s curly hair. He hums drowsily, moving his head just a bit to hide his face into the crook of Taehyung’s neck, and nose at his skin, there. Ever so gently. Lovingly.

The blanket is rolled down at their feet, the night too hot to be hidden under it when their bodies seem to be enough to keep each other warm. 

Jeongguk’s free hand comes down Taehyung’s back, gently caressing him through the pajamas he’s wearing. He almost forgot that they changed before bed; Taehyung into his casual and adorable bear pajamas, while Jeongguk ever so sweetly asked if it was fine to sleep with only shorts on. And it isn’t because he was expecting anything to happen—he would never initiate anything that Taehyung wouldn’t want, either, and they both know it—but rather that he’s used to sleeping completely naked. And that is why he finds his bare chest pressed against the warm fabric of Taehyung’s top, feeling the calm breathing of the latter.

Last night wasn’t just a lovely dream made out of his crazy imagination.

“‘morning,” Jeongguk mumbles when he hears the soft groan slipping past Taehyung’s lips, telling him that he’s waking up, too. His fingers keep caressing Taehyung’s back, in slow and soothing circles while he presses gentle kisses against Taehyung’s neck, up to his jaw. Slowly. Softly. “Can I kiss my sleepy baby?” And his voice is still drowsy when he asks that, his eyelids fluttering open to meet Taehyung’s dazed eyes. Somehow, although he wants to lean in and kiss those lips without thinking twice, he also doesn’t know if it is fine in the morning—when Taehyung is still dazed, and sleepy. When he isn’t thinking a hundred percent straight. 

And while he waits for Taehyung to pull himself out of Morpheus’ arms, Jeongguk stares at him, with the eyes of a man that has fallen too deeply, too intensely. He silently counts out the same moles he’s drawn, the same moles he has been desperately wanting to kiss—and he leans in for it. Gentle, when he presses his lips under Taehyung’s eye, on the tip of his nose, under his lips. Careful in the way he moves, and in the way he asks again, silently this time, the permission to kiss him good morning. 

But instead of responding with words, Taehyung simply turns around to properly face him and nods, brushing their noses together before he finds Jeongguk’s lips again and hums against them.

Smiling against his lips, Jeongguk kisses him gently, slowly, before he opens his eyes to meet Taehyung's. “You can take a shower while I prepare breakfast for us,” he suggests, softly playing with Taehyung's curls. He can't help the amused, faint chuckle that escapes him when he hears another hum from Taehyung. The morning seems to be difficult for both of them. Although, in each other's arms, it isn't so surprising that their only desire is to stay in the other's embrace for a few more. “How does that sound?” 

“Lovely,” Taehyung finally speaks, his voice even lower and raspier in the early hours of the day. It sends shivers down Jeongguk’s spine. “In a bit, though,” and he hides his face in the crook of Jeongguk’s neck, hugging him once more. Their legs tangling together again, he feels Taehyung’s breathing against his skin. 

“Alright,” Jeongguk easily agrees as he breathes out an amused sigh, nosing into Taehyung’s hair. His fingers keep caressing Taehyung’s back, his eyes closing, and he fears that the warm comfort of Taehyung’s arms might help him doze off again. It feels nice.

“You smell really good,” Taehyung sleepily mutters against his skin, feeling the warmth that radiates from his body. Maybe not wearing a shirt wasn’t his smartest idea, or maybe it was the best one. It is hard to tell, in some ways.

“You do too,” Jeongguk whispers back before they fall into a comfortable silence. Listening to each other’s breath, each other’s heart beating calmly. A few minutes pass, maybe an hour, Jeongguk isn’t sure. He could spend the whole day in Taehyung’s arms without a single worry about time.

When their eyes open, sleepiness dissipating, it is Jeongguk who pulls Taehyung closer before the latter could turn to his side.

“One more minute,” he asks with a smile, pressing his lips against Taehyung’s neck. One gentle kiss after another before he playfully nibbles at the skin, very gently, very lightly, just enough to hear the sweet sound of Taehyung’s giggle.

But it’s the sound of their stomachs rumbling that eventually manages to get them out of bed, only for them to kiss some more while Jeongguk washes his face and Taehyung clings to his back, dropping kisses all across his naked back. 

Yeah, he could definitely get used to this. 

— ✧ —

Taehyung still can’t believe this is real. He keeps pinching himself to make sure it’s not the most real dream he’s ever had. But, can you blame him? Truth is, after everything he’s been through, having something that feels this good is scary. 

After their lazy waking up this morning, Taehyung held his part of the deal and went to take a shower, the ghost of Jeongguk’s lips still on his skin and the warmth of his touch making him smile like a fool. 

A fool in love.

When he finishes in the bathroom, he comes out with his hair slightly more curly now that it’s wet after the shower and goes to meet Jeongguk in the kitchen. 

Breakfast is already served when he gets there. 

“Don’t you know cooking shirtless is a hazard? What if you got splashed by oil or something?” He chuckles and sits in front of Jeongguk. To be fair, Taehyung doesn’t really mind the fact that he’s pretty much naked right now. It’s a nice view. Makes him want to throw the food across the table and crawl his way to him, though. 

With an amused chuckle, Jeongguk serves a glass of fresh orange juice he prepared, too, sliding the drink over the table to offer Taehyung one. “Then you’ll have no choice but to take care of me,” he tells with a smile. 

“Mhm, smart,” Taehyung chuckles. “You can shower after if you want.”

Jeongguk offers a nod at that and picks up the glass to bring it to his lips. “This may not be the right moment to talk about it, but,” he pauses for a second, chewing the inside of his cheek, “have you thought about what I said, yesterday?” And, truth to be told, a lot has been said yesterday, although the most has been shown. So, noticing Taehyung's confused and furrowed brows, he explains in a simple word, “Yoongi-ssi.” 

“Oh,” Taehyung mutters, then. To be honest, he’d forgotten about the whole thing. After the whole day at his parents’ and what came after, it was as if he wasn’t Kim Taehyung the idol whose company shut down his entire project but simply Kim Taehyung. “I… I don’t really know what to think about that, though. I’m not sure if hyung would be able to do anything. I mean, I could ask him what would he do but—”

“We don’t need to rush anything,” Jeongguk interrupts when he senses Taehyung’s hesitation. “It wouldn’t hurt to ask whenever you’re ready. Maybe invite him over for dinner, if his schedule allows him to come?” 

“I’ll think about it,” Taehyung nods with a faint smile. Truth is, he’d love nothing more than to rip his contract and join Yoongi, but he knows he can’t without repercussions from his company, and that terrifies him. 

When Yoongi left the company, his contract had expired, so all he had to do was not renew it. Taehyung renewed his a few years ago. 

“Thanks for looking out for me, though,” he looks back at Jeongguk, then. It’s something he’s not really used to, either.

“How could I not?” It is a simple question and yet, nobody else has taken such care of Taehyung. 

But he can see the genuine love in those shiny, round eyes looking back at him, the way those hands come cupping his face when they’ve emptied their plates and Jeongguk has left his seat to come closer and press a kiss against Taehyung’s forehead—it is a love so pure, so overwhelming, that it almost looks unreal. A love made out of a wild imagination. 

“Whenever something happens, can you promise me you’ll call me?” Jeongguk asks, now softly caressing Taehyung’s cheeks from where he stands in front of him. “I hate that you went through this alone,” he murmurs against Taehyung’s lips, not quite yet kissing him, “I want to be by your side when—”

His words are cut off by the sudden doorbell resounding in the apartment. It startles them both.

Jeongguk’s eyes are wide open, curious when he tries to ask, “Are you waiting for some—?”

He’s interrupted yet once again by the persistent doorbell.

And, of course, Taehyung’s immediate reaction is to panic, to tense up at the sound of the doorbell, because he is not expecting anybody. And that’s never a good sign.

“N-no,” he gulps, holding Jeongguk closer as if he were a shield.

“I’m going to check who it is,” Jeongguk reassures with a kiss pressed against Taehyung’s lips. “I’ll be quick.” He gently manages to draw Taehyung’s hands back, squeezing them softly as to reassure him one last time before he hurries to the door. 

There are a few persistent knocks, too, until Jeongguk opens the door, and then—

Silence. For a few, long seconds.

Only then, hearing Jeongguk stutter in an almost nervous way, “H—Hyung, I think you should come,” followed by an embarrassed laugh. The fear crawling up Taehyung’s throat seems to run away as soon as another familiar voice is heard through the apartment, angry, furious. 

“Kim Taehyung!” Jimin calls and Taehyung rushes to head to the door to find his best friend staring at Jeongguk and when his eyes find his he sees both confusion and… something else. When he looks at Jeongguk, he sees how he’s blushing and clearly trying to get away from there because he’s still very much half-naked. “What the fuck is happening?” 

“Jimin, hey,” Taehyung smiles nervously, then. He’s not sure why his friend seems so mad until it dawns on him that they were meant to meet up and he never called. He shattered his phone and never contacted Jimin again. “How have you been?” 

“How—You’re kidding, right?” And Jimin looks at Jeongguk again who is quick to turn his head toward Taehyung. 

“You should come in,” Taehyung walks to Jeongguk and drops a kiss on his shoulder. “Go get dressed, I got this.” And he offers him a shy smile. 

It’s not like they wanted to keep whatever this is a secret from the people they care about, it’s not like they even talked about it, but being found out like this… Taehyung feels bad.

“Oh, fuck no,” Jimin says and walks into the apartment, shutting the door after himself. “What happened here?”

“Jimin, calm down.” But that only manages to make his friend more angry. 

“I haven’t heard from either of you for two days! Why the fuck do you have a fucking phone, Taehyung? I thought—“ And Jimin looks at Jeongguk again like he at least expected him to contact him. 

“I forgot?” Jeongguk tries in a questioning way, his eyes darting between Taehyung and Jimin as if he’s searching for a way out. “It’s not like anything bad happened, right?” he adds with a faint laugh before he quickly swallows it as soon as Jimin glares at him.

“How was I supposed to know that?!” Jimin snaps and Taehyung sighs. 

“Jimin, dear, how about we sit down, we let Gukie put some clothes on and I can tell you what happened? I’m sorry I never reached out. Truth is I broke my phone and Jeongguk and I—“ he gulps, then, feeling his cheeks burn. 

“Yeah, I can see that part,” Jimin gestures their way and Taehyung’s eyes open even wider.

“No! No—That’s not—We didn’t do that,” he stutters, and Jimin then looks back at Jeongguk. 

“Fine, go get dressed. And tell me everything so I can decide if I remain pissed at you both or not.” And he sits down dramatically on Taehyung’s couch, arms crossed and serious-faced.

Jeongguk offers Jimin a timid bow, his face apologetic as if he committed a crime before he rapidly disappears to the bathroom to take a quick shower and put on some clothes—obviously, still Taehyung’s clothes. It is, honestly, no surprise that Jimin has already an entire scenario in mind about what happened, they don’t exactly help to clear out all these doubts.

“So… Gukie , huh?” Jimin speaks first, and it takes Taehyung so off guard that he almost chokes on his own breath. “I mean, I won’t say I didn’t see this coming.”

“It was you who told me to follow my heart, don’t say I never listen,” Taehyung replies, and it actually manages to pull a smile from his best friend. “And I don’t say this often, but you were right. I think my heart and I both will be safe with him,” Taehyung admits, then, feeling the warmth spread across his body when he says that. 

“I like hearing you say that. If you say it again, maybe I won’t be so upset that you stood me up and didn’t contact me for two days and broke your phone to hang out and maybe kiss a little with your bodyguard. Or boyfriend. Or both.” 

"You were right,” Taehyung repeats to please his friend. “And… don’t call him that,” he says, then. Jimin frowns. “Don’t call him my bodyguard.”

It’s such a stupid thing, but Jeongguk feels like so much more than just that. It might be because all the other ones he had in the past brought him so many unpleasant memories that thinking of Jeongguk as his bodyguard kind of makes him sick. He knows it’s his job, he knows that’s what he’s supposed to do, but to Taehyung, that word is cursed.

And nothing cursed could ever be related to Jeongguk. 

“Sorry,” Jimin whispers then, understanding as usual. “Boyfriend’s fine, then?” 

And Taehyung blushes again. Not realizing that he didn’t deny that one as eagerly. 

Boyfriend. He likes the sound of that.

— ♤ —

Jeongguk had been too lost in the moment, too lost in Taehyung’s arms, that he came to forget about the rest. About them, outside the safe place that they created in those walls. Reality dawned on him when he opened the door and faced a surprised Jimin. Right. His relationship with Taehyung wouldn’t stay so private for long. Especially not when he himself doesn’t even think twice before opening the door, half naked, in an apartment that is not his.

And it is when he’s under the cold water that he starts wondering—would it be alright? Would their relationship be alright? Would it be dangerous, in one way or another, for Taehyung’s career? His public image, if it were to be revealed? 

His mind is loud, although there is not a single regret—he has fallen, it is a fact, and to know that Taehyung feels the same makes his chest bloom with warmth. He doesn’t want to ruin this in any way, and he won’t go back on this, either.

Putting on the clothes Taehyung left for him in the bathroom, Jeongguk joins them back into the living room, although he slows down his steps when he hears Taehyung say,

“Don’t call him my bodyguard.”

Jeongguk swallows thickly. He doesn’t mean to eavesdrop, but he can’t help the smile that pulls the corners of his lips up at Jimin’s response,

“Boyfriend’s fine, then?” 

That sounds nice. Even more than that. Jeongguk feels something pull at his heart as if the doubts he had just dissipated from his busy mind. He clears out his throat as if to announce that he’s here, while he walks into the living room and takes a seat next to Taehyung. 

“I’m sorry about earlier,” Jeongguk apologizes with a sheepish smile, his hand slowly finding Taehyung’s. “I hope you didn’t scold him too much, I didn’t remind him of calling you back, either.” It is not his fault, it is mine, too. 

“I’m just glad he’s okay, I was worried,” Jimin admits and Jeongguk can see it in his eyes. It’s refreshing to finally meet someone that’s on Taehyung’s side as well. When he met his family, he knew they were obviously on his side, but they didn’t know the battle his son faced every day. Jimin does. He does and that’s why he worries bad things could’ve happened to his best friend because the sad and scary reality is that they might have. 

“Thanks, Minnie, and I am sorry it’s just—“ Taehyung bites the inside of his lip when his eyes meet Jeongguk’s. He doesn’t know where to start, Jeongguk can tell. 

“A lot happened.” Jeongguk squeezes Taehyung’s hand to reassure him, silently, that he’s here with him. He holds Taehyung’s gaze for a little longer, searching for permission to talk about what happened before he turns his attention to Jimin. “Before you two were supposed to meet I drove him to the company for a meeting. For... his album.” He can sense how this topic is sensitive, and he immediately intertwines their fingers and caresses the back of Taehyung’s hand with a gentle thumb. “Guess those idiots don’t have any taste for real, and beautiful art,” Jeongguk blurts out, and although his tone is lighter in an attempt to make the situation less heavy than it is, anger and frustration are hinted at in it, too. “I’m just—glad that nothing worse happened before I arrived here,” those words come out as a whisper when he brings Taehyung’s hand to his lips, to press a soft kiss against his skin.

“Oh, Tae, babe, I’m so sorry,” Jimin says, then. “God, I wish I could burn that company down with my own two hands. Isn’t there anything you can do? Like, I know shit about contracts but I am pretty fucking sure they have violated yours more than once,” Jimin points out, and Jeongguk frowns. He does know someone that knows about contracts. 

And, if Jimin is right, that might be the way to release Taehyung. 

“I can’t, Jimin. You know why,” Taehyung sighs, defeated, and the fear returns to his eyes. It’s the same expression he has whenever Jeongguk mentions it. 

Just what exactly is he scared of? 

“All the reasons you think you can’t for are exactly the first proof that you should. Blackmail, Taehyung? How the fuck is that fair?” And Jeongguk turns to look at Taehyung, then.

“Blackmail?!” Jeongguk echoes, the words failing him for a second as he tries to process this new information. “What do they even have against you?” he stops mid-sentence when he notices how the fear starts to paralyze Taehyung, so he gives another gentle squeeze to Taehyung’s hand. “Namjoon hyung... he can help us. I told you, he’s a lawyer and a damn good one at that!” And he doesn’t say that because Namjoon is his friend, but because he has seen the cases, even doubted that Namjoon could ever win a bunch of them, and yet, he’s won them all so easily that it is almost scary. “Whatever they have against you, whatever it is, this will stop before anything can happen to you, I’ll make sure of that. We’ll make sure of that.” 

“I don’t know,” Taehyung whispers, clearly scared. “I don’t know if it’s worth it.”

“Taehyung, I love you, but you’re fucking insane for even doubting this. I’ve been telling you this for years!” Jimin sighs. “Please, make him come to his senses,” he begs Jeongguk now. “And call your lawyer friend so that he can help him. And you,” he looks at his friend again who barely meets his eye. “Be honest with him. There’s no use hiding anything anymore and they can help you. Don’t you want to be free, Taehyungie?” 

Taehyung doesn’t reply, and he feels smaller next to Jeongguk for some reason. Jimin seems to understand and he just sighs. 

“And buy another phone. Your fans are starting to do countdowns of the last time you were online.”

This time, Jeongguk lets go of Taehyung’s hand to gently cup his face and urge him to meet his eyes. Urge him to focus on Jeongguk only, on his voice, on his words. When he does, Jeongguk smiles faintly, hoping to reassure him. “We can do this together, alright? You’re not alone in this. And... if you only want to tell everything to Namjoon, that’s fine too, I don’t need to know it all if you do not want me to. I trust you, so,” his thumbs gently caress Taehyung’s eyelids as if he could sense that Taehyung could break into tears at any time now, “can you trust me, too?” 

“I do,” Taehyung assures him. “And I want to tell you, too, I’m just—“ he gulps and looks down again. 

“Alright, I think that’s my cue to head out,” Jimin stands, then. “You, lover boy,” he looks at Jeongguk now with a warm smile on his lips. “Take care of him, yeah? And keep me updated about your lawyer friend. And about the whole process, because he probably won’t,” he signals toward Taehyung with his head. 

Jeongguk nods with a small chuckle. “I will. I think Namjoon hyung will want to talk to you, anyway, he usually wants to know as much as he can from everyone involved when it comes to things like these. If you don’t mind.” He smiles, his hands slowly trailing down to come to massage the nape of Taehyung’s neck. “Thank you, Jimin.” 

“Sure, no problem. Give me a call or give him my number. Anything for Taehyungie,” he smiles and heads to hug his best friend goodbye before he also hugs Jeongguk. “Be patient with him, okay?” He whispers to him so that Taehyung doesn’t hear. When he pulls back, there’s that worried smile again. 

Jeongguk nods, smiling back, a reassuring don’t worry hinted in his eyes, silent. Honestly, he doesn’t see himself being anything other than patient, and it comes naturally when he looks into Taehyung’s eyes when he sees how much damage the past has done to him, how painful that must have been, and how painful it is, still, to heal from it. Jeongguk wants to be the one Taehyung can trust wholeheartedly. 

And he’ll wait, wait and wait no matter how much time it takes. 

— ✧ —

Jimin left almost an hour ago and Taehyung hasn’t been able to stop thinking about what he told them. 

Jeongguk, bless him, has been trying to take his mind off it, and has tried to get him to focus on other things. First, they finished the movie they started last night because, turns out, distractions ended up not letting them watch the ending and Jeongguk pouted a lot about that. Then, he suggested going back to his parent’s house to pick Yeontan up and maybe go out for a walk. 

But Taehyung feels like he’s not there, not fully. Half his mind is gone, and half his body is in the past, stuck with his demons as if it was quicksand, sinking more and more as time ticks by. 

Jeongguk is talking about something when Taehyung finally breaks himself free and lands on his face.

“Guk,” he calls, meeting the young boy’s eyes that sits next to him on the couch, and, when he does, he feels choked up already. “I—I want to tell you.” 

Fear coils up his throat when he says that, regretting it straight away. 

Is he ready? Will Jeongguk be disgusted by him when he hears the truth? Will he leave? Will Taehyung end up alone again? 

“Everything.” He answers a question that Jeongguk’s eyes asked without his permission. “Just…” Taehyung gulps. “If you want me to stop at some point, tell me.” 

He knows it’s a lot. He knows it’s too much. He hasn’t shared all of it with anyone. Bits and pieces, sure. Jimin knows part of it. Yoongi does as well because they were both with him when those things happened, but they don’t know everything. 

Taehyung wants to tell Jeongguk everything , even if that will mean he will lose him after less than a day. 

He owes him that much. 

“I will not stop you, but I will not ask you to keep going either if it’s too hard for you.” And there’s sincerity in his eyes, while his warm hands reach for Taehyung’s. Yet, he can’t help but ask, first, “Can I hold your hands through it?” Perhaps because he remembers the way Taehyung had reacted when Jeongguk touched him for the first time, perhaps because he’s scared that his touches will only make things worse for Taehyung when talking about this. Perhaps, also, because he sees the flicker, the fear in Taehyung’s eyes, and it is something he has yet never seen. 

Not like that. 

Not that intensely.

Taehyung just replies by holding his hands instead, initiating the contact so that Jeongguk knows it’s alright because it is. With him, it always is. 

“When I first debuted, I had a very small team around me. A few managers and one bodyguard,” Taehyung starts. The beginning is easy, it’s safe, considering. “It was alright. I mean, the company has always been… special, I guess, but nothing really bad happened until a few years ago.” He gulps. “Since our company was that small when Yoongi hyung left the company, my bodyguard left as well, which meant they had to hire someone else. And that is where everything started to go to hell.” 

He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. 

He can do this. He can do it. 

Jeongguk’s thumb caresses the back of his hand encouragingly, and it helps. He always helps. 

“I had a crush on my bodyguard,” Taehyung admits with his eyes closed. “It was a silly little crush, nothing else. But, you know, when I was younger, everyone around me was so much older than me, and suddenly, there was someone around my age, and… I don’t know—I guess I just liked him. I knew I shouldn’t, but I also knew I wasn’t going to do anything about it, you know? I wasn’t even—I hadn’t really thought about my sexuality yet,” he explains. “But he figured it out. He found out and… he—” he takes a deep breath and feels the way his heart starts speeding up. “He took advantage of it. He was the first one that touched me like that. He was the first one that, between schedules, held me. In the middle of the night, he would call in and, because I liked him… I let him. I let him until it started to get ugly until he started to get rough, and I wanted him to stop, but he didn’t.” He finishes with a whisper. “And here’s the funny thing… he was the CEO’s nephew, so when I tried to tell the company what was happening, when I tried to report everything, showing up there with bruises on my skin they—” he closes his eyes and takes another deep breath. “They blamed me for it. They said that, if I hadn’t liked him first, then he wouldn’t have done anything. That it wasn’t their fault that I offered myself to him like that.” 

He wants to look up and meet Jeongguk’s eyes, but he’s scared. He’s scared of his reaction. He’s scared that he might think the same way. That it was his fault. 

“I couldn’t do anything. But eventually, he got tired. He didn’t want people to think he was gay if it ever got out, because I threatened him that I would, so he quit. But he’d told his friends about it, so the next one did the same. And the next one. And the next one,” he starts to feel the pressure around his neck, then. Unable to breathe. “I tried to tell the company, I tried to go to the cops, but they wanted to protect that fucking guy’s image over mine. Apparently, he was dating the president’s daughter, and if what happened to me got out, it’d be a problem for them. ‘ If you do, we will just argue that it was consensual. It will be your word against his, against ours’ they said. ‘ You won’t be taken seriously if it gets out that you wanted him too. Nobody will believe you. Do you want your fans to think you’re dirty? It's for your own good, Taehyung.’ they said.” 

The tears start flowing, then. But he needs to keep going, now that he’s started, he has to. 

“They were all the same, but Gyubin was the worst,” he bites his lips, then. “Most of them just—they got off on me, would touch me without permission, would use me, but Gyubin…” his stomach turns thinking about him. “He was the worst, especially when he was drunk. He… he liked to tie me up so that I couldn’t leave so that I couldn’t run away or protect myself from him. He’d choke me and—” He closes his eyes hard. “He fucked me raw while Yeontan barked outside when I cried. They all knew I couldn’t talk. They knew I was bound to my contract, so they took advantage of it. Of me. ” And he looks up, then, meeting Jeongguk’s horrified eyes. “I lost count of how many times Jimin had to take me to a private doctor after one of their wild nights. I lost count of the canceled schedules because I couldn’t speak the next day because my throat was ruined. The amount of makeup I used to hide the bruises, the amount of nightmares,” he shakes his head. “I didn’t even know who I was anymore and I was starting to believe them, to believe that I deserved that. That’s why when you came, I—” he gulps, feeling sick. “I thought you’d be just like them, too.” He finishes with a whisper. 

And his eyes meet Jeongguk’s again, tears brimming Taehyung’s eyes. 

It seems that the words fail Jeongguk, that the shock written all over his face is still being processed, and it is almost like his hands have a mind of their own when he gently lets go of Taehyung’s to reach for his face and wipe the tears that keep flowing and flowing. His mouth is parted in shock when his fingers run through Taehyung’s hair and prompts him to let go, to let himself be guided into Jeongguk’s arms so that Taehyung’s face hides into the crook of Jeongguk’s neck, the warmth of his skin comforting, and familiar. 

“How—” Jeongguk stumbles on his own words—Taehyung knew that it was a lot, and warned him about it, but Jeongguk seems to want all but to run away. And he makes it clear with how he’s embracing him, as if he’s scared that if he lets go once, Taehyung might disappear. “How could you have gone through this alone?” his voice is so brittle that if Taehyung didn’t see him before falling into his arms, he’d think he started to cry, too. “How could have anyone done this to you?” Jeongguk’s face buries into Taehyung’s hair for a moment, his hands caressing Taehyung’s back, Taehyung’s neck. Gentle touches, ones that keep him grounded, so soft and warm that it almost feels too good to be true. “I’m sorry,” Jeongguk blurts out, and it pains Taehyung, even more, to hear the sincerity behind it, as if he willingly shares the burden so that the weight on Taehyung’s shoulders lessens, even so slightly, even if it isn’t enough—it is still something. “I’m so sorry for coming so late. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there when you needed it the most.” And he doesn’t let Taehyung respond, not even if the tears are too loud, as he manages to tell, “None of it is your fault, none of it could have been done differently on your part. You didn’t know, you couldn’t know, and you were trapped in a situation they forced you into, and made you a victim of it. It’s not your fault, it has never been and will never be,” and he repeats it, so that Taehyung believes it, too, so that the words of those people would be erased from his brain even for a second, even for a brief moment. “It’s over. It’s finally over.”

I am not like them, it is almost as if Taehyung can hear it being whispered against his ears.

“I never wanted any of it.”

“I know you didn’t.”

“I tried to—I tried to stop them.”

“I know you tried.” The fingers running through his hair keep caressing him, comforting him, while Jeongguk keeps reassuring him, “I know you did what you could.” 

“I was so scared, I—I still am,” he admits. “Every time I see my name trending I fear that they released some pictures or footage or something, I—I want it to be over for real.”

“I know,” Jeongguk whispers, drawing himself back ever so slightly, just enough to cup Taehyung’s face into his hands again. And he must see just how terrified Taehyung looks, as he doesn’t immediately speak, and instead takes the time to caress Taehyung’s cheeks and dry his tears. Press his lips against Taehyung’s forehead, his eyelids, his nose, and his lips. Gently kissing him, so softly, that it makes Taehyung’s chest spasm with a sob. When they part, Jeongguk murmurs against his lips, “That’s why we’re in this together. That’s why we’re going to put an end to this, together. You and me,” he kisses him again, in between his words, “we’ll do this together. You’re not alone anymore, you can trust me.”

“I know, I do, I—” love you. “I believe you,” Taehyung lets out instead. “And… thank you,” he smiles faintly, still in his arms, the place he wants to stay for as long as he lives. “For… well, you know,” he chuckles a bit. For loving me, for taking care of me, for staying when others would leave. “For not being like them.” 

Jeongguk lets out a faint laugh, as if hearing Taehyung’s chuckle has managed to relieve him, too. “It is not something you should thank me for,” he tells, meeting Taehyung’s eyes when he shifts slightly and offers a warm smile, too. “Even though I wish we met earlier, I’m relieved to know that I can be by your side, now.” As if he can’t get enough of it, he presses another kiss against Taehyung’s lips. “I will not let anyone hurt you, ever again.”

And, once again, he believes him. 

— ♤ —

There are, truthfully, no words strong enough to describe the intense feelings that mixed inside Jeongguk’s chest. To say that he had been horrified, shocked, wouldn’t be enough, either—he could have thought about anything, but nothing of the sort. Nothing close enough to what Taehyung shared, heart out and open, with him. 

He felt powerless. Powerless, because no matter how careful he is with his words, no matter how sincere his comforting touches are, there is nothing that can help erase such a traumatic past.

That, however, hasn’t stopped him from keeping his arms around Taehyung’s frame, and caressing his back until the tremors ceased. Jeongguk tried, too, to keep Taehyung’s mind off of it when they left the living room, asking with a smile, because he knew that he would witness those beautiful eyes shine brightly, “You’ve never played a song on your record player, ‘you have any favorite vinyl we could listen to?” And that’s how Taehyung hurried to his huge collection, albums from all years organized chronologically. And Jeongguk listened. Listened with an endearing smile to Taehyung talk about Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis, and other countless artists, until they found their way to Taehyung’s bed, lying in each other’s arms while an album of Akina Nakamori plays quietly from the other room.

It feels nice, to hear Taehyung talk about his interests, ramble until he has to stop himself to take a breath—and that has Jeongguk chuckle, endeared, in love. 

It is the sound of Jeongguk’s phone buzzing that steals their attention. 

“Ah, sorry,” he whispers with a smile as he shifts slightly to the side to reach for his phone on the night table and turn off the sound. But before he could turn over again, his eyes land on the opened drawer, and a familiar piece of paper sticking out of it. Blinking curiously, he takes it between his fingers, and when he sees what it is, he can’t help but bite down an endeared smile. “You kept it?” he asks, and turns towards Taehyung again, showing him the paper Jeongguk left him the night he brought him home from the club. The one where he doodled a tiny tiger to represent Taehyung.  “This.” 

And Taehyung’s eyes open widely as color rises to his cheeks at being caught. 

“I—It was really cute,” he admits, shyly. “And sweet.” 

Jeongguk lets out a chuckle at that and catches Taehyung’s lips into a soft kiss. “I can’t believe it. Here I thought you’d throw it right away,” he tells with an amused tone, not really meaning it. At that time, he knew that something had changed, although he kept believing that it was his own, imaginative mind. “That day, I couldn’t believe that you trusted me enough to call me. I thought it was a prank call, at first.” He puts the paper down to reach for Taehyung’s cheek, a smile on his lips.

“You know what’s funny? I went out that night to stop thinking about you,” Taehyung admits, catching him off guard. “I—I was scared of how I felt whenever you were near me. After what happened at the jewelry store, after I saw you protect me like that…” he bites his lip nervously, then. “I don’t even remember you coming to get me. I do remember asking Jimin for his phone because I left mine here so that nobody could track me,” he chuckles. “So, when I woke up, I thought it was Jimin who brought me home, but then I saw your note and all the feelings rushed right back. You’re just too good, too cute. I never stood a chance,” Taehyung chuckles and hides his face in the crook of Jeongguk’s neck. He feels him burn there, and he melts at the endearing gesture. 

“You—” Jeongguk lets out a breath of disbelief, laughing at how easily those words tumbled from Taehyung’s lips, his heart loud into his eardrums. “I can’t believe that I thought the reason you reacted like that was my inexperience for the job. Here I was, already counting my days because I kept messing up,” he giggles, his fingers trailing down Taehyung’s back. Adds, with an amused smile, “I wanted to impress you, and I’m glad it worked either way.”

“Oh, baby, I was impressed alright,” Taehyung admits coming out of his hiding hole to look into his eyes, and Jeongguk hopes that the flicker in his eyes isn’t as noticeable. “It was so frustrating because I wanted to… well, I didn’t want to hate you, but—It would’ve been easier for my heart if on top of being hot as fuck you wouldn’t have been… so damn kind. You just had to be perfect, huh?” And Taehyung’s hands find his cheek and turn him to brush their lips together ever so slightly. “Guess the universe really owed me and it brought me you.” And his voice is so… so honest, so sweet, so loving. 

“You’re really saying all of this as if you do not have it all,” Jeongguk smiles against his lips. “I knew it before, but I am sure of it now that I’ve come to learn about who the real Kim Taehyung is, and I must say that I am one lucky man.” His happy chuckle is muffled against Taehyung’s lips, before he parts to add in a playful tone, “Your fierce eyes and glares were hot too, by the way.” 

And Taehyung laughs loudly at that, hugging Jeongguk tighter with his head on his shoulder. It almost feels impossible that the people they met each other as are the same ones tangled in each other’s arms right now. 

“There are more where those came from,” Taehyung says then and looks at him again, trying to glare at him, but his smile gives him away. To make up for it, he leans in and kisses him again. 

“You’re so adorable,” Jeongguk laughs against his lips, leaning into the kiss, although happiness keeps breaking them apart each time they try to deepen the kiss; not that they mind, not when this feels so right. 

Not when this feels like home. 

Chapter Text

Taehyung got so used to waking up next to Jeongguk that waking up alone in his bed feels weird. Yeontan barks at him at the feet of the bed as if Taehyung’s thoughts insulted him because he is not technically alone in his bed. 

He checks his new phone and smiles when he sees a new message on his screen. The good thing about having a new number is that he doesn’t need to worry about unwanted people calling him or reaching out to torment him. 

He smiles at the contact name, feeling a bit silly. 

    from : baby bun ♡ — 03:21 a.m.
    can’t sleep :(((((((((((
    miss u
    remember im picking u up to go to hyung’s at 11

They’ve been good. Kept things professional until they were behind the safety of Taehyung’s apartment’s walls. It’s not like Taehyung’s had many schedules these days, and the few he had he went to very unwillingly. The company sent him a recording calendar for his new single that he’s been ignoring for a few days now because he hopes that he won’t need to go. 

Jeongguk got him a meeting with Namjoon so they can finally talk about his contract and hopefully, get him out of it, too. 

He’s scared, and he barely slept last night thinking about what to tell Namjoon, how to explain everything in a way that won’t end up putting him in a bad light. 

But at least Jeongguk will be there with him, to hold him through it, to speak for him if Taehyung’s words get stuck in his throat. 

He’ll be there to kiss him after, too. 

At the thought of his kisses, Taehyung smiles again, licking his lips as if he could still taste Jeongguk’s lip balm from yesterday. 

Yeontan barks again, and Taehyung groans. 

“God, yes, one second.” And he gets out of bed and gets ready to go take him out for his morning walk. 

They went to get him a few days ago and Taehyung’s mother was so pleased when she saw Taehyung walk into the house with Jeongguk’s hand in his. He didn’t need to tell her anything for her to know. 

He puts the leash on Yeontan and gets out of the house. It’s too early to run into anyone, which is the best time for him to go out, considering. 

Mr. Yeo greets him good morning when they walk past and Taehyung smiles at him as well. And, through the walk, Taehyung listens to his album. The one that has been rejected by the company. The one he poured his heart and soul into. 

And it’s so good. 

Judging by the time Jeongguk sent him the texts, he figures there’s no way he’s awake already, but Taehyung still decides to video call him. 

He picks up after just a few rings and Taehyung can’t help but laugh at the messy hair and sleepy face Jeongguk greets him with. 

“'morning baby,” he mumbles drowsily, rubbing the sleepiness out of his eyes with a smile. Although he tries to hide his naked body under the sheets, Taehyung can still see his chest and his full tattooed sleeve clearly. He tries very hard not to get dizzy and pass out as his dog keeps pulling him forward. “Does my sweet little cub miss me so early in the morning?” 

“How do you know I’m not calling because something bad happened?” Taehyung chuckles, but before Jeongguk can even dare to worry, he speaks again. “Yeah, of course, I do,” he admits, wanting to press a kiss on the screen as if that could somehow reach him. “Sorry, I woke you, though.” 

Jeongguk hums with a shake of his head, still sleepy when he rasps, “If I could wake up to your pretty face this way whenever you’re not sleeping with me, I’ll never complain. This is nice.” 

“I mean, Tan and I could drop by and wake you up properly, if you want,” Taehyung suggests biting his lip a little bit when Jeongguk stretches and he sees him fully. “We’re already out,” he chuckles. 

This time, Jeongguk opens his eyes a bit wider to properly look at the screen and offers a small, warm smile. “I’m not exactly—dressed,” he tells with a faint chuckle, “I’ll take some time to pull myself out of this bed and be ready, it’s not worth coming here just for a minute. Plus, we can’t be late, hyung is a busy lawyer.”  

Taehyung can’t help but pout at that, even though he knows that Jeongguk is technically right.

“You better make it up to me, then,” he tells him, and Tan barks, then, pulling Taehyung’s attention away from Jeongguk for a second. “I was just calling to tell you that I was listening to my album and I can’t wait til we get this over with so that I can release it,” Taehyung smiles, then. “But I’ll let you pull yourself out of bed and get dressed before Tan gets in a fight with a big dog just because he thinks he’s one of them,” he chuckles a bit. “See you later, yeah?” 

Jeongguk nods, laughing at Taehyung’s words, probably imagining the scene with Yeontan and another, huge dog. “I can’t wait either. See you at eleven.”

After that, Taehyung hangs up and puts his phone back, pulling from Yeontan’s leash to head back to the apartment. He’s walked enough for now. 

Once he’s back, he gives Yeontan his breakfast and heads to the shower himself to start getting ready even though he still has a few hours. It’s not like he’s got anything else to do. 

He can’t help but smile when he sees one of Jeongguk’s hair ties on the edge of the bathtub where he probably left it the last time he showered here. 

He hopes that, after today’s meeting, Jeongguk would want to stay. He had some things to take care of yesterday afternoon which is why he ended up not coming to sleep at Taehyung’s, but he hopes that today he is free. 

He misses him. 

He heads to the kitchen and opens the fridge, seeing some leftover food that Jeongguk made for him because “ otherwise, you won’t eat anything,” he told him. He was right. 

Although his meals taste better when he’s got good company. 

— ♤ —

Jeongguk hides his face into the cushion as soon as the video call ends, hiding the silly smile that plays on his lips. His chest blooms with warmth, the feelings seemingly exacerbated by the sleepy state he’s still in. There’s no denying his feelings for Taehyung, his heart beats too loud, too fast every time his eyes lay on Taehyung, and he still can’t help but ask, how did I become so lucky? 

True to his word, he does take some time to physically pull himself off of the bed, almost dragging his own body to the bathroom and getting ready. 

Although seeing Taehyung at his apartment sounded nice— really nice, actually—Jeongguk felt like it wasn’t exactly the right time, whatever that means to his busy and loud mind. Perhaps it is the fear of taking things too far. Perhaps it is something else. He isn’t so sure himself. 

He’s wearing casual denim pants and a matching jacket over his white shirt when he enters his car, thirty minutes before the appointment with Namjoon—they got some time ahead. He doesn’t necessarily need to get into more formal clothes, after all, they’ve known each other for years that it would almost feel ridiculous for Jeongguk to show up in an expensive black suit. 

    to : baby cub — 10:39 a.m.
    your prince in shining armor is here

An amused smile plays on his lips when he sends the message, already inside the building. He hears the elevator only a minute after, then the doors open in front of him, and that’s when he pulls Taehyung into a sweet morning kiss in a place where they wouldn’t be seen. Like another secret between them.

“Good morning,” Jeongguk murmurs against Taehyung’s lips, a hand behind his back hoping that Taehyung doesn’t yet see what he hides.

“Now they surely are,” Taehyung giggles before he kisses him again quickly. “You left this upstairs,” he informs him before Taehyung pulls Jeongguk’s hair up in a ponytail and hums in approval after he’s done. Such an adorable expression to which Jeongguk can’t help but breathe out an endeared chuckle.

“Thank you.” Jeongguk smiles, stealing another kiss before he parts just enough to offer Taehyung the small, gray box he was keeping behind him. “You said I better make it up for saying no, earlier, right?” he asks with a chuckle. It isn’t that he specifically bought it for this, but he had it in his mind for a good time now. Taehyung’s eyes are open wide at that. 

“What—”

“I thought about giving it to you later, but your birthday doesn’t come any time soon, and I want you to have it during the case. I don’t know, perhaps as a lucky charm,” he shrugs as if he hasn’t used his first paycheck after working for the company to buy it—not that Taehyung knows anything about it. “Open it.”

“Guk, you didn’t have to,” Taehyung says even before he opens it, but after Jeongguk pushes the box further into his hands, he does. He gasps when he sees it. It’s a handmade silver ring adorned with a pretty emerald green stone; the one Taehyung kept eyeing back at the jewelry shop, the same day they bought the gift for his mother. 

“You said it would look pretty with your clothes, and I think it does look pretty on you at any time,” Jeongguk admits with a smile, observing Taehyung’s face as if he’s scared that he wouldn’t want to accept it. “I saw that you really wanted it, I was actually scared that you’d already bought it before I did,” he laughs.

“But it was so expensive!” Taehyung argues, eyes still open wide as he takes the ring out of the box and eyes it. “It’s so beautiful, baby, thank you.” And, before Jeongguk can say anything, his lips are taken over by Taehyung’s. 

“I’m glad you like it,” Jeongguk whispers against his lips, satisfied, as he reaches to take Taehyung’s hand in his. “Come on, we shouldn’t make hyung wait.”

“Just one more,” he whispers and pulls Jeongguk from the front of his jacket, and kisses him again. Jeongguk can feel the coldness of the ring against his skin when Taehyung holds his face and it makes him smile. “Alright, let’s go,” he giggles and they get out of their hiding spot. Mr. Yeo sees them come out and gives them a knowing smile. 

So much for keeping it secret. Although Jeongguk believes that, judging by how protective of Taehyung’s personal information the doorman is, their secret is pretty much safe with him.

“How do you feel?” is the first question that slips past Jeongguk’s lips when they enter the car. He has his eyes on Taehyung, a comforting hand over his thigh, and he waits for an answer before even starting the car. Just to make sure.

“Honestly? Nervous,” he admits. “But I know I have to do this and, hopefully, it will lead to good things,” he nods, trying to convince himself of it. 

“It will,” Jeongguk confirms, giving Taehyung a gentle squeeze. “I’ll be here through it all, and Namjoon hyung knows how to reassure people, too, even though sometimes his honesty can make you think otherwise,” he laughs. It is true that sometimes, Namjoon’s words can be too honest for his own good, but it is for the sole reason that he cares. Just like Jeongguk, he cares, perhaps too much, too. Perhaps it is also the reason why Namjoon has never once lost a case—because of his attention to detail, but mostly because his clients and their whole story matters to him. Because he cares, and he fights for it. No wonder he got promoted so fast at such a young age. 

It is only after Jeongguk receives another nod, and a silent it’s fine hidden into those eyes he knows too well, that he leaves the parking lot. The place isn’t that far, and if it was, they would have been scolded by Namjoon for coming late. 

They barely arrive on time.

The building is huge, probably just as tall as the company both of them work for, but it is mostly because it belongs to one of the biggest law firms in the country—thankfully, they have a private parking lot where they could easily escape any curious eye that they could have potentially found on their way here.

“Hyung kept his office in here but he works on his own,” Jeongguk starts to explain when they pass the control gates and enter the elevator. “When he was promoted to senior partner in this firm, he worked for a few months and decided to leave it because of the cases he got assigned to. I’m not sure what was the problem, he never really told me, but the firm accepted to rent him the office he already worked in.”

“Doesn’t it take many years to be promoted to senior partner?” Taehyung asks, fidgeting with his fingers nervously.

“It does,” Jeongguk immediately tells proudly, overjoyed about Namjoon’s incredible achievements. “I’m telling you, he’s the best.” His hand timidly reaches for Taehyung’s, but his fingers only brush his because of the camera inside the elevator. They need to be careful, no matter how much they desperately want to touch each other. “He may not have looked that friendly last time,” he laughs at the memory of when Namjoon came to change the lock, only to be exchanging glares with Jeongguk, “but trust me, you’ll be relieved to have him handle this.”

And he wishes that would be enough to lessen the weight over Taehyung’s shoulders, but he can see that as they get closer, the look on Taehyung’s face only grows more and more nervous, and almost hesitant. 

“Attorney Kim!” Jeongguk calls playfully once they arrive at the office, letting Taehyung enter behind him. “What a pleasure to meet you in person!”

“You’re late, Jeongguk-ah,” Namjoon sighs, although the clock above him only shows that it’s four past eleven, not that late. When he peels his eyes off his laptop and adjusts his dark gray suit as well as the glasses over his nose, his face softens as he meets Taehyung’s gaze. “Welcome, Taehyung-ssi.” He signals them to take a seat on the two comfortable chairs in front of his desk; a clear surface filled with a few small Bonsais, while other bigger and taller plants fill the corners of the room. Jeongguk has always commented on how comforting Namjoon’s office feels thanks to the number of plants making the place alive. Even the sunlight coming through the half-closed blinds feels different, warmer, like a lovely morning spent on a messy bed with the sound of the birds chirping outside. It feels nice. And he hopes that it helps Taehyung, too. “Do you drink coffee? Tea? Water?” 

Jeongguk blinks at that, his eyes darting between Namjoon and Taehyung as if he just witnessed betrayal. And, before the latter can answer, Jeongguk tells in a fake-offended tone, “You never ask me if I want to drink anything!” 

“Because you always take whatever you need,” Namjoon responds simply, his attention back to Taehyung. “I have tangerines, too, if you’d like.” 

“I could drink some tea, actually,” Taehyung lets out a faint chuckle, clearly nervous. “Thank you. And thank you for having us, Namjoon-ssi.”

With a nod, Namjoon walks up to the kitchenette. Says, as he prepares the tea, “You shouldn't thank me, I'd do it for any friend.” And Jeongguk knows he would, no matter how busy he is. “I am glad you trusted me enough to come to me,” he smiles as he offers Taehyung the drink before sitting back at his desk. He seems to type down something on his laptop first, then slides the blank paper next to him over the desk, closer to them. “If at any moment you need to write down anything that you do not wish to speak out loud, you can take this paper.”

Glancing at Taehyung, Jeongguk reaches out to tuck a clamp of hair behind Taehyung’s ear to get his attention, just for a second, just to offer him a comforting smile. A silent it’s fine hidden in it. 

“Okay,” he nods and takes a deep breath. “I—I don’t know if Jeongguk told you anything beforehand?” Probably trying to figure out where to start. 

Namjoon shakes his head negatively. “He knows I’d prefer to hear it from you, first, although I do know that this is related to the other day when we came to change the keypad of your apartment. We will go through this step by step, you do not need to speak alone through all of it,” he explains with a calm tone, his gaze just as serene. “Would you like to begin by telling me when the offense, I presume, first started, and for how long?”

“Well, um—” Taehyung gulps. “My company has been abusing their power and blackmailing me for… I’d say as long as I have been an idol the first one and around three years the second. At first, unfortunately, there is nothing that the law deems unfair when it comes to idols and companies, so I never even bothered complaining. I worked for them and that much was made clear to me every single day. I had no voice other than the one I used for my songs, and most times they weren’t even my songs that I got to release. But three years ago, my contract expired. And I was still too young, still too… immature, I guess?” he sighs. “I didn’t know anything else other than that, so when they suggested signing again, I did. I could’ve—I should’ve gone with my hyung to his new company that he founded after he left our company, I’ve regretted it every day,” he sighs and Jeongguk reaches over to hold his hand, to give him strength. “It was then when the… offenses, as you called it, started. The first one was Lee Junhyeok,” Jeongguk doesn’t miss the way Namjoon’s eyes open a bit wider as if he was surprised. As if he recognized the name. “Yeah, about to get married to the president’s daughter, that one,” Taehyung chuckles after noticing too. “He—He was the first new bodyguard I had after years. And he was the chairman’s nephew, so when he—” he bites his lip again and takes a deep breath. “I liked him, at the time,” Taehyung admits almost in a whisper, like he was scared that, only by that crucial fact, all the things that happened after wouldn’t matter. Because that’s what the people in his company made him believe: that it was his fault just because he had a crush on the guy. “But he took advantage of it, of me and when I tried to report it to the company, they blamed me and blackmailed me saying that, if I ever reported it to the police or anyone else, they’d just say that it was mutual and it would make me look bad. They never once tried protecting me. As you know by now, I had the same code in my apartment after almost ten years. They all had access to the code. They all had access to my privacy whenever they wanted: in the middle of the night, drunk… it didn’t matter. I—” Taehyung turns to look at Jeongguk then, and then back to Namjoon. “I have pictures of bruises, I have medical bills, too,” Taehyung adds, then. “And I have friends who can testify as well, if needed. My best friend Park Jimin he—he took me to the emergency room more than once.” 

Jeongguk is watching Namjoon write things down as Taehyung keeps speaking, and although his face tries to show no emotion, it’s hard when the story is this brutal. 

“And, the other day, the company forbade me from releasing some music I had been working on. Music where I very clearly stated that I was feeling held hostage, that I felt trapped in a horrible situation, and that the nightmares I had from all those years were still haunting me. They told me that there was no way they would allow that to be released because it would make them look bad. I just—I don’t even remember what my contract said when I signed it, but I’m pretty sure that they have violated it more than once, just like I was,” he adds in a whisper. “I’m just—Please, Namjoon-ssi, I’m scared that, if we do something, they will release something that will ruin my career and my life even more. I have never dared to do this because of that, because they always threatened me with releasing all that information, all the men who—” he can’t continue then.

“Taehyung-ssi,” Namjoon calls for his attention, for him to focus even if Jeongguk already tries to keep Taehyung grounded as his hold tightens around his hand. Gesturing towards the tea in Taehyung’s hand to take a sip, a silent way to urge him to take a breath, Namjoon speaks calmly, “The moment you walked into my office and trusted me with this, you took a step further toward your freedom. And for that, I’ll need you to trust me throughout the whole process. I understand your doubts, I know that public opinion is always a strong point often used in court as arguments, however, you are talking about what could happen after, when we haven’t yet started anything.”

Although the fear seems to paralyze Taehyung the most, Jeongguk also has to take a deep breath, always worrying, always scared, too, that anything could go wrong, no matter how many times he asked Taehyung to trust him. To trust them. 

When Jeongguk parts his lips to talk, Namjoon slightly raises his hand over his laptop, while his eyes scan what he wrote. “Abuse of power, privacy breach, blackmail, breach of health and safety law, and,” his eyes meet Taehyung’s when he adds, “sexual abuse.”

“Hyun—”

“This is a lot, Taehyung-ssi,” Namjoon cuts off Jeongguk, and his emotionless face is almost disconcerting, though Jeongguk can see the slight flicker in those eyes. “Suing the company won’t do anything.” Jeongguk’s heart drops to his feet, and he’s about to interrupt Namjoon again, to tell him that he can’t blurt that out after Taehyung’s words, but Namjoon doesn’t let him and explains with the same calmness, “We could do this in different ways, but there is truthfully only one that comes to my mind.” He picks up the paper he slid over the desk earlier, his eyes darting from Jeongguk to Taehyung. “I need the names of all the people who committed those crimes. All of them. And a second time, I’ll be needing the names and contact information of those who witnessed what you just described. Park Jimin,” he cites as an example, “and anybody else.”

“I will get you a list of names. Might be long, though…” And Jeongguk’s heart breaks even more, then, at how broken Taehyung sounds. “And—Jeongguk can send you Jimin’s number. And thank you, Namjoon-ssi. I know it is a lot, I—I wish it wasn’t.” 

“I wish just the same, Taehyung-ssi,” Namjoon breathes out with a faint smile as his façade seems to finally fall and reveal those compassionate eyes, worry hinted in it, and an apologetic look, too. “I’ll do my best to collect as much of the pieces of evidence you and the others share as to avoid any kind of monetary settlement they could try once we bring this to court. You can trust me, I won’t give up on you.”

Jeongguk breathes out a sigh of relief, too, bringing Taehyung’s hand to his lips. “It’s gonna be okay,” he whispers when his eyes meet Taehyung’s, hope shining in them. And Taehyung smiles and nods.

Everything is going to be okay. 

“Do you mind if I use the restroom?” Taehyung asks, then. “I think I drank too much tea,” he chuckles a bit. Jeongguk can tell that he probably needs to step out for a second and breathe a little, so he doesn’t suggest going with him, but he gives his hand an encouraging squeeze.

“Please,” Namjoon nods and walks up to take the mug from Taehyung’s hands, accompanying him towards the door to indicate the restroom. 

“Hyung,” Jeongguk finally speaks when Namjoon closes the door and takes a seat back behind his desk. Their eyes meet for a moment, silent, before he whispers, “Thank you.”

Namjoon dismisses it with a wave of his hand, sighing heavily and putting his glasses down over the desk. “I told you I left this firm for a reason, I can’t believe you didn’t warn me before,” he tells as he hides his face into the palms of his hands for a short moment, rubbing the corners of his eyes. “Going against powerful and rich people? Really? Again?” 

A faint, amused yet sad laugh escapes Jeongguk’s lips. “I know. I know you hate the media’s attention when it comes to these particular cases. That’s why I’ll be forever grateful that you accepted to help us, hyung. I’m serious.” 

When Namjoon raises his head to meet Jeongguk’s gaze, his eyes are filled with worry—the complete opposite of earlier. Seems like he, too, has to differentiate between Attorney Kim and Kim Namjoon. Even if it means appearing cold when hearing such traumatic backgrounds. “We can’t miss one single detail and piece of evidence in this. We really can’t.”

Jeongguk nods, his heart tight inside his chest. “Do you think there is a high possibility that they’d release something against him?” 

It takes a few seconds for Namjoon to answer. Too long for Jeongguk’s taste. “No,” he shakes his head negatively, “that will only happen if we give them the time to try and settle with us. We have to bring this to court immediately.”

“I trust you, hyung.”

“You trust me too much, you brat,” Namjoon laughs, and Jeongguk bites down a smile at that. Maybe he’s right, but Jeongguk believes that Namjoon would never let him go, whether it is unwillingly or not. “We’ll win this, don’t worry.” 

Jeongguk nods. 

They will.

— ✧ —

Taehyung makes his way through the halls to find the bathroom and, once there, he closes the door and takes a deep breath. 

It’s not like he wants to cry in a semi-public bathroom, because he’s well aware that anyone could walk in and recognize him, and that would only bring more trouble. But he feels the pressure in his chest, as if someone was squeezing his heart tightly. 

He is so relieved that he finally shared everything, but at the same time, he doesn’t think the fear will ever go away until all those people are out of his life for good. 

Suing the company won’t do anything . 

It felt like a punch to his gut. It’s not like he didn’t know that, but to hear it from someone that knows what he’s talking about hits differently. 

But he’s hopeful. As Namjoon said, this is just the beginning of the journey toward his freedom, and one day, hopefully, one day soon, all of this will be in the past. 

He splashes his face with cold water and tries to calm down. He takes his phone out and texts Jimin to warn him that someone might be reaching out to him so that he doesn’t get scared or thinks it’s spam. 

Once Taehyung feels like he’s relaxed again, he gets back out and traces back his step back to Namjoon’s office. 

When he walks in, they’re both smiling, which Taehyung takes as a good sign. 

“All done,” he smiles as well, closing the door behind him. “I already warned Jimin that you would be contacting him soon.” 

“That’s great, thank you,” Namjoon tells as he picks up his glasses to put them on again and closes his laptop. “I’ll call you once I have the information I need so that we’ll agree on the next step we shall take.”

Jeongguk stands up from his seat and turns his head to look at Taehyung, offering him a warm smile. “Do you need to ask hyung anything before we leave?” 

“Not really just—thank you,” Taehyung speaks from the bottom of his heart. 

Namjoon nods with an honest smile. “I hope that Jeonggukie treats you well. You can come to me if there’s anything, too, and I’ll teach him one.”

“Hey, stop that!” Jeongguk exclaims in a fake-offended tone, his eyes opened wide. Taehyung chuckles and goes to hug Jeongguk to reassure him. 

“Will do, Namjoon-ssi,” he smiles. Almost slipped a hyung there, but maybe it’s too soon. Something tells him he’d get along well with Yoongi, too. “Shall we get going, baby? I don’t want to inconvenience Namjoon-ssi anymore, I’m sure he’s a very busy man,” Taehyung chuckles, feeling bad. 

While Namjoon seems to choke on his own saliva, Jeongguk’s face turns flushed. Ah. Right. Namjoon probably doesn’t know that they have taken another step into their relationship. Well, if he doubted it, now all doubts are cleared. 

“Let’s go,” Jeongguk agrees quickly, reaching to hold Taehyung’s hand while he waves goodbye to Namjoon with his other hand, not even looking at him when they leave the office with a simple, “See you, hyung!” 

What a way to learn about them.

The door closes behind them, and they feel like finally breathing again.

“Let’s go home,” Taehyung sighs once they’re out of the office. He’s exhausted. 

Jeongguk hums. “That’s a good idea,” he tells as they walk towards the elevator, reluctantly letting go of Taehyung’s hand. Just in case. “You did well.” He smiles softly when their eyes meet, sincerity brimming in them. “You should be proud of yourself.”

“Thank you, and thank you for being there, too, and listening to it all again,” Taehyung smiles slightly at him. “I know it mustn’t have been easy on you, either.”

Jeongguk can’t help but laugh faintly when they arrive at the parking lot. “It is nothing compared to—” he doesn’t need to finish the sentence, Taehyung knows it, and the concerned look on Jeongguk’s face also gives it all. “I know I’ve said it countless times, but,” Jeongguk reaches for Taehyung’s hands as they stop by the car, eyes on his fingers gently caressing the back of Taehyung’s hands, “I wish I was there,” when you needed it the most, Taehyung can hear in his head.

“You’re here now, that’s what matters to me,” Taehyung smiles and looks around to make sure there’s no one watching and leans in to steal a kiss from his lips. “Let’s go home, I need my dose of you to recover,” he smiles before he steps into the car, ready to get out of there. 

An endeared chuckle at Taehyung’s words, another stolen kiss inside the car, and they’re finally driving home.

Although it is just a few past midday, today feels like one of the longest days in a while. One of the heaviest, too—and it is not so surprising when Taehyung had to relive his terrifying memories yet once again. 

“Should I cook something?” Jeongguk suggests once they arrive at the apartment, a hand to Taehyung’s waist while he opens the door. “You haven’t eaten since this morning, right?” 

“You spoil me too much,” Taehyung chuckles, hugging his back and dropping a kiss on the juncture of his neck. “But sure, cook for me, baby.” 

“I’m just making sure that you learn how to be a good cook, too, by showing you how to do it,” he smiles, amused, as they kick off their shoes in the hallway, the door closed behind them. Jeongguk turns just enough to gently run his fingers through Taehyung’s hair, and he must have noticed how tired Taehyung is. “Do you want to lie down for a bit while I prepare something?” But Taehyung shakes his head, trapping his lips between his own now that they’re home and no one can bother them. 

Well, no one except Yeontan who also requires Jeongguk’s attention. 

“Good to see you, too,” Taehyung chuckles when his dog goes straight to Jeongguk. “I can’t believe my son likes you better now…” he sighs. 

And Jeongguk can’t help but laugh at that, a playful finger under Taehyung’s chin. “Is that jealousy I hear?” he smiles, kissing his lips one more time before he crouches to caress Yeontan’s soft fur. “Say hello to your dad, he did well today.”

“Yeah, yeah, now you want me,” he chuckles when Yeontan tries to jump to his arms to lick his face, he picks him up and takes him back to his crate so that he doesn’t get too excited and, while he’s there, he gets changed into something more comfortable: a plain shirt and nothing else because it’s too hot to wear pants around the house. 

When he goes back to the kitchen, Jeongguk is taking things out of the fridge to start cooking. 

“It’s funny that you want me to learn how to cook but why would I learn when I can have you cook for me for the rest of my life?” he asks, walking to him and sitting on top of the kitchen aisle next to him. 

A very good question, to which Jeongguk chuckles. “Perhaps for the day when the love of your life gets sick and you’ll need to make him a warm meal?” he tries with puppy eyes as if that would be enough to convince Taehyung. And, well, that seems to work pretty good.

“Alright, I better pay attention, then,” he smiles and pulls from Jeongguk’s sleeve until he’s fit between Taehyung’s legs. “The teacher is distracting me a bit, though,” he leans in close and almost whispers it against the younger’s lips. 

“Taehyung,” Jeongguk calls for his attention, his hands gently coming to squeeze Taehyung’s arms. And, although he doesn’t move even an inch away, it feels like he’s just taken a step back when Taehyung took one forward. Distancing, while not physically doing so. “Let’s focus, or else we’ll never eat today.” And Taehyung just pouts then and lets him go reluctantly. 

“Fine,” and he leans back to watch Jeongguk cook, the shirt riding a bit more up his thighs involuntarily. Oops? “What are we eating, then?” 

Jeongguk just turned his head for a second when he went back to the ingredients he took out, but when his attention is back on Taehyung, he almost has to catch himself on the counter he was standing in front of. “U-uh,” he stutters, and although he seems to try his best not to let his eyes wander and trail down, Taehyung catches it immediately, “Kimchi—” he tries first before he seems to mentally shake his own head and says, with more confidence this time, “kimchi fried rice.” 

And Taehyung hums, a bit more intensely than he should just to see Jeongguk’s reaction.

“Delicious,” he licks his lips and jumps down from the counter, and walks his way. “Teach me, then.” 

Jeongguk’s eyes immediately dart towards the cabinet he opens to take a wok, the gestures so fast that it becomes comical. “We can use the leftover rice from yesterday,” he explains when he takes the container, and it almost slips out of his hands the moment he tries to open it. 

A total mess. A cute one, though.

“I think you should stand just a bit further in case the oil jumps and burns—” he allows himself a glance at Taehyung, and the way he urgently averts his eyes with a rosy tint to his cheeks is the funniest thing, “—your legs or something. We—hm, we have to be careful. We never know.”

“Says the one who cooked naked the other day,” Taehyung chuckles and hugs Jeongguk’s back to press his lips on his neck. “Me and my legs are good, but thank you for looking out for them,” he whispers in his ear with a giggle. 

Jeongguk lets out a faint laugh, tilting his head as he, truthfully, doesn't have anything to say to that—Taehyung is not wrong. So, he inhales deeply and starts putting the ingredients into the wok, his commentary is not really needed but perhaps it helps him to not focus on something or someone else. “This is quite easy so, just watching me will be enough. You can do this whenever you feel like not cooking anything else.” Taehyung hums again in his ear and nudges his nose against Jeongguk’s neck again. 

“Smells good,” he notices, meaning both the food and him. He closes his eyes and smiles, relaxed. After the morning they’ve had, he really needed this. 

Gentle fingers through Taehyung’s hair tell him that Jeongguk is done, and when he opens his eyes again he sees Jeongguk smiling at him. 

“Come on, let’s eat,” Jeongguk says, almost in a whisper, “and then we can lie down for a bit.”

“Okay,” Taehyung smiles as reaches out his hand to pull him closer and kiss him again. “Thanks for cooking again,” he whispers against his lips before he presses another quick kiss there. 

“You know I enjoy doing it,” Jeongguk smiles and comes pressing his lips against Taehyung’s forehead before he serves the meal on two plates and takes a seat at the table.

They have their meal in relative silence, and Taehyung starts letting his mind wander. Thinking about the things that Namjoon told him earlier today and starts making a list in his head of all the people he needs to tell him. Yeontan comes back to them and moves around their feet in case they drop some food without noticing. 

He finishes the food almost without noticing, too tired and too deep in his own thoughts. 

He doesn’t even pay attention when Jeongguk leaves his seat and clears the table before he feels those same gentle fingers through his hair, down to his neck, the pressure relieving the tension there. When Jeongguk nuzzles the skin there, it sends pleasant shivers down his spine. “Tired?” Jeongguk whispers although he has seen how exhausted Taehyung has been ever since they left the office. “Or is there something else that’s bothering you?”

“Tired,” Taehyung offers a sleepy smile and leans against Jeongguk’s touch. “Don’t wanna sleep, though.” 

“Wanna lie down? Watch a movie? Paint each other?” he suggests with a barely audible laugh in which Taehyung can hear Jeongguk’s smile. And, of course, he smiles back. 

“I suck at painting, but you can paint me, ” he turns to look at him and almost says again. “I’ve been told I am quite good at modeling.” 

“You are,” Jeongguk agrees with a strong nod. Of course, he’s already drawn him from his own memory, so, how would it even look with the model himself in front of him? “But I haven’t painted since I graduated, either, so I wouldn’t do your beauty justice.”

“Nonsense,” Taehyung stands then from his chair and takes Jeongguk’s hand to start pulling him towards the bedroom. “Come on, paint me like one of your French girls or whatever the line is,” Taehyung chuckles turning around, a spark in his eyes when he sees Jeongguk’s surprised eyes. “I’ll write you another song if you do,” he promises against his lips. As if that required any effort from Taehyung lately, when all his verses spell out Jeongguk’s name.

“Another?” Jeongguk questions when he draws his head back with wide, curious eyes. “You’ve written me a song?” Taehyung smiles shyly, then. 

“A song… I think I’ve lost count of how many you’ve got already,” he admits and walks to the bed, falling there, his shirt all the way up to show his soft tummy, but he pulls it back down.

“And you’re not showing them to me?” As he climbs onto the bed, Jeongguk blinks curiously, an adorable pout on his lips.  

“Sure, I’ll just let you listen to me bearing my soul open just like that,” Taehyung laughs. “For free? I don’t think so, baby.” And he flicks Jeongguk’s chin, then. 

“Oh, you’re so unfair,” Jeongguk complains before he leans in to capture Taehyung’s lips. Probably an attempt to convince him. “Aren’t my kisses enough? My cooking skills? My cuddles?” And Taehyung giggles in his arms and hums. 

“I’m afraid you’re going to have to kiss me a lot more for that, darling,” he licks his lips and runs his fingers through Jeongguk’s long hair, pulling just a little. “And who knows? Maybe I’ll sing one to you one day.” 

Jeongguk stares for a moment, his expression unreadable before a playful smile makes its way across his face. And, without a warning, he pounces, his lips pressing kisses all over Taehyung’s neck, all over his face as if he’s jumping into the opportunity to attack him, a satisfied smirk on his face. This demon. “If you need a lot more, then I need to start now,” he tells with a chuckle when his lips find Taehyung’s again. But it’s hard for Taehyung to kiss him back when he’s smiling so widely. Doesn’t keep him from trying, though.

“Good boy,” Taehyung hums and pulls him back, moving until his leg is thrown over Jeongguk’s body, tongue brushing against Jeongguk’s lower lip, craving to taste him deeper. And it seems that Jeongguk wants nothing less, either, as a hand trails down Taehyung’s back, warm fingers touching Taehyung’s soft skin right under his briefs. 

But it’s a hand brushing over the nape of Taehyung’s neck, fingers tracing his jaw and thumb over his lower lip that prompts them to part with short breaths and a dizzy mind. It wasn’t sudden, but it did feel like Jeongguk stopped right when they were starting to let urgency and burning desire guide them into losing themselves to each other.

“Love,” Jeongguk calls quietly, although he doesn’t say anything else. Instead, he draws his head back just enough to look into Taehyung’s eyes, to stare with desire, but also something akin to worry. Perhaps a warning. Perhaps a request to slow down. To stop, before it gets any further. The hand previously under Taehyung’s naked thigh is brought up to his back, the cloth slightly pulled down, too. “You should rest for a bit.” And Taehyung frowns ever so slightly. So much that he thinks he might not have done it. But instead of asking why, he just retreats his leg from over Jeongguk’s body and lies down again properly, turning around to be comfortable and so that Jeongguk can’t see how much their little make-out session just now affected him. 

He knows he has no right to demand anything from him, not when he himself stopped him before, but— no. Taehyung stops his own brain before he goes down a rabbit hole. 

However, when he falls asleep, a rabbit hole is exactly where his mind takes him. 

— ♤ —

There is a strange weight pressing down on Jeongguk’s ribcage. It appeared the moment they both parted, the moment he saw the hesitation to talk, to act, in Taehyung’s eyes, and the moment an awkward silence fell over them.

For an instant, Jeongguk hesitates, too. He hesitates on reaching for Taehyung’s arm, on pressing his lips to the back of his ear to apologize for—he doesn’t even know. Or perhaps he does, but he can’t quite put his fingers on one of the thousand thoughts running through his mind. Instead, he lies down and looks at Taehyung—at his back turned to him. Wonders if he’s already falling asleep, with how calmly his chest rises and falls. 

It is only after a few minutes that Jeongguk decides to leave the bed, silently walking to the door. He turns his head to look at Taehyung one last time, and he was right; he fell asleep. A sense of relief runs through Jeongguk’s body; the sight has always managed to appease his worries. Careful when closing the door, Jeongguk shuffles to the bathroom.

“What are you doing, Jeon Jeongguk?” he whispers to himself as he splashes cold water on his face in an attempt to calm his heart. He takes a deep breath. Turns the tap off. And stares at his own reflection. “How much longer can you go like that without hurting him?” 

With a sigh, he shakes the overwhelming thoughts away and leaves the bathroom. 

The apartment is incredibly silent. Apart from the small tippy-taps he hears behind him. 

“Tan-ah,” Jeongguk calls, almost whispering, “let’s not make any noise, alright? Your dad is sleeping.” 

Yeontan tilts his head to the side, and Jeongguk can’t help but break into a smile. When he’s about to crouch to caress the dog’s small head, he’s surprised to see him almost run away. 

“What? Did I do something wrong?” he laughs faintly. In a way, I did, right? But then, he sees that Yeontan is waiting for him. So he follows. “You know, I shouldn’t be sneaking like that. What if Taehyungie knows about it, huh? What are you gonna do, then?” Certainly nothing. Not that Yeontan understands him, anyway. Jeongguk blinks at where the dog runs into, another room that he hasn’t yet seen; which isn’t so surprising considering that the apartment is huge. “Hey, hey! Don’t go there,” he warns, although he doesn’t exactly know if Yeontan is allowed there. When the door is pushed ever so slightly open the moment the dog enters the room, Jeongguk looks inside. 

Just an ordinary storage room, he sighs in relief to himself, as if he had been scared of seeing something he shouldn’t have. But when he walks in to pick up Yeontan, he takes a good look at his surroundings and sees quite a few art tools. Canvas of different sizes, cases he guesses are painting kits, and brushes among other things. That’s then that he remembers a video he watched of Taehyung trying to paint into his apartment; it was a funny challenge for a singer, and despite how disappointed he had been in his own work of art—an abstract painting—Jeongguk had found that quite interesting. Something he’d definitely see in modern museums.

Jeongguk hesitates for a moment, but when Yeontan barks, he immediately puts him down on the floor to shush him. “Alright, alright, I’m gonna do it!” he tells, as if the dog was telling him to do whatever he was thinking of doing. 

That’s how Jeongguk finds himself lost in the multiple choices offered to him, searching and looking for the right tools he’d need to paint his muse. He can’t deny the excitement in the pit of his stomach because—sure, he’s drawn Taehyung, but it was from his own imagination. To paint him right next to him is something different.

And it does feel different.

Jeongguk is back in the bedroom, silently taking place on the empty spot next to Taehyung. Thankfully for him, Taehyung turned over in his sleep and is now facing Jeongguk. His hand had slipped under the cushion, another stretched out a bit further as if he had been searching for Jeongguk next to him. He looks... ethereal. Jeongguk can’t help but stare, transfixed. His heart beats into his ears while his eyes keep trailing down, taking notice of every single detail, every curve of Taehyung’s body.

“If only things were easier,” Jeongguk whispers, and bites down his lower lip nervously, “if only this nightmare you’re living in could end.” 

Jeongguk takes a deep breath. 

And starts painting. 

— ✧ —

Taehyung jolts awake feeling sick to his stomach, for some reason. The memory of his dream slipping through his fingers as soon as his eyes open, and he thinks he’s grateful for it because it doesn’t feel like it was a very good one. 

He turns and finds himself alone in bed, alone in his room, when he wasn’t before. 

“Guk?” he calls, frowning, and gets up from bed, dragging his feet outside his room to see if maybe he’s in the living room or if maybe he’s making them dinner. But there’s no response because the apartment is empty. 

Did he leave without saying goodbye? 

Demons start creeping into his thoughts as he makes his way to the living room, where Yeontan is lying on the couch. And it's then that he sees something on the table. 

A painting. 

And a note. 

“What’s this?” he asks out loud as if the dog would tell him, but his eyes are glued to the portrait of him, the beautiful depiction of his sleeping form in bed. And it takes him longer than he would like to admit to tear his eyes from it in order to read the note left next to it. 

“Next time, it’s your turn! ◡̈ ♡
Namjoon hyung called to have a meeting with me, I didn’t want to wake you. I’ll be back later” 

So that explains it. Taehyung really should stop jumping into the worst-case scenarios that quickly because it leaves him feeling stupid after. 

He wonders what Namjoon might’ve wanted, but maybe he can use this time to curate the list that he promised Namjoon as well. 

Part of him wishes Jeongguk were here with him to offer support because going back to those memories in order to make sure that he doesn’t leave anyone behind is going to be an ugly trip. 

“Come here, bud,” he calls Tan, patting the space between his legs as he sits on the couch and the puppy happily walks that way and lays in it, providing comfort. as well. “Let’s do this, yeah?” And he bends to drop a kiss on top of his little head. 

He takes out a piece of paper and starts writing names down. He could do it on his phone or laptop, but he wants everything to be as non-digital as possible. He’s never trusted technology much, let alone with things as important as this. He wouldn’t want someone to hack him and all of it to get aired before he gets the chance to fight for his own freedom. 

He starts easily: the CEO of the company, his managers, the producers, and the staff. The camera directors, the photographers, the stylists. Everyone who knew and kept quiet. Everyone who helped hide everything so that it wouldn’t get out. 

And then came the harder part. 

Lee Junhyeok.

Yang Hunho

Mang Leehyuk

Kim Arin

Nam Harim

Park Moonseok

Yoo Seodam

Ro Gyubin

Taehyung closes his eyes and a tear falls on the piece of paper. His stomach turns and he feels like maybe the food Jeongguk prepared earlier might not last much longer in his system if he keeps going. 

Tan licks his wrist where he’s still holding him and Taehyung takes a deep breath, then. 

“I think—I think that’s it,” he whispers and reads all the names again. He filled the entire page front to back. 

He picks up his phone and wonders if he should send a picture to Jeongguk or to Namjoon himself, but if he wrote the whole thing down onto a page, it was so that he could give it to him in person, so he doesn’t. 

But instead, he gulps and presses another contact’s name and calls. 

“Min Yoongi, who is this?” he picks up after he calls a few times. Right. Taehyung changed his number and didn’t tell him. 

“Hyung it’s me,” Taehyung replies and it’s only then that he hears how weak his voice sounds. 

“Taehyungie? What’s wrong? Are you alright?” And he can hear the worry in his hyung’s voice. It’s not often that he calls, especially not sounding like that. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m okay. I changed my number, sorry I didn’t warn you,” he chuckles a bit, trying to calm himself down, trying to act in a way that will also relax Yoongi. 

“Oh, so is that why you never reached out after the collab dropped?” his hyung teases back. “We’re doing great on the charts, brat, you didn’t even send a congratulation to me!”  

“Sorry, hyung, it’s been—” A hard week. Month. Year. “I’ve been a bit busy,” he ends up saying instead. 

“Are you sure you’re alright? Do you want to meet up for coffee? Or well, something else for you,” he chuckles. 

“I—I actually would, yeah. I need to talk to you about something if you have a minute.” 

“Right now?” Yoongi asks. “I’m free right now.”  

“If you want. You can come over, that way it’s—safer.” 

“You’re scaring me a little, Taehyung-ah,” Yoongi says, then. That concerned tone is still present. 

“Don’t worry. I hope it will be a good thing,” Taehyung smiles, then. 

“Alright… I’ll be there in a bit and bring something to drink. It sounds like you might need it.” 

Typical Yoongi, Taehyung thinks. 

After that, they hang up and Taehyung decides to take a shower to make himself look presentable. 

When he looks at his reflection in the mirror, the T-shirt barely reaching halfway through his thighs, something ugly pulls at his stomach making him look away and get in the shower.

The demons are always the loudest when he’s alone. 

— ♤ —

“Don’t look at me like that,” is the first thing Jeongguk says when he sits in front of Namjoon’s desk. It’s been five long minutes since he arrived, and they haven’t spoken a word except for short greetings. Jeongguk kept looking at Namjoon writing whatever it was on his laptop, nervously playing with his own fingers before Namjoon’s stern look met his. “I just didn’t think it was important to tell you. Plus, it happened very suddenly, I didn't see you in between!” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jeongguk-ah.”

Ah. Jeongguk presses his lips together into a thin line and nods. Dismisses it with a wave of his hand. Yet, Namjoon still asks,

“So you two are together?” 

Jeongguk sighs. “I told you, I didn’t think it was necessary for you to know.”

“It is, in a way,” Namjoon says before he turns his laptop to show Jeongguk the few headlines on the screen. He scrolls down, the list never-ending, and it manages to tighten Jeongguk’s throat with uneasiness. “The media likes to talk a lot about you, and speculate about when you’re going to be fired, or even the reason why you’re still by Taehyung’s side. You know that media play can be brought to court, I’ve told you that countless times. I should be prepared and know what’s going on between you two, too.” 

Jeongguk swallows thickly and nods. “I... forgot about it. I’m sorry.” 

Turning the laptop over to him again, Namjoon shakes his head. “I didn’t call you only for that, though. I need to know what you witnessed, too.”

It takes a moment for Jeongguk to think it through. He leans back into the chair, looks up to stare at the ceiling, and closes his eyes for a few seconds. Where should he start? What should he say? What he considers to be important may not be that important for the case, while what he considers to be useless might be the key to winning this. “I told you that everything about that company seemed sketchy.” 

Namjoon hums.

“At the time, Taehyung had been confined to his apartment since the day following the one I brought him home from the club. I think you saw the video,” he mentions the laptop since he saw the headlines about Taehyung getting wasted at the club and saved by his bodyguard. “I wanted to see him, then. Check on him.”

“You called me that day, right?”

Jeongguk blinks at that. Right, he forgot about it. After all, he did call Namjoon late at night and took his drowsy and vague response as a permission for him to go and check on Taehyung. “Yeah,” he chuckles, faintly. “I went there, and that’s when I saw a car in front of his home. I didn’t think, I immediately went up because I just had a bad feeling about it.”

“Was the person inside already?” 

Jeongguk shakes his head. “I’m not sure what he was doing, but I think he tried to enter a first time, because the moment Taehyung opened he already looked terrified. He also joked about me forgetting the code, when—I didn’t type it?”

“So that person tried entering,” Namjoon concludes while he types down the notes. 

Jeongguk simply nods. “He did enter, after. Reeking of alcohol, and calling Taehyung—” he pauses for a moment, pressing his tongue against his cheek to try and swallow the sudden anger that comes with the memory, “—honey.”

Namjoon keeps humming, while Jeongguk starts to describe how vivid the emotions Taehyung went through were. How terrible it was for him to see Taehyung suffer when he wasn’t even close to that man. How persistent that excuse of a man was, and how Jeongguk couldn’t help but throw a fist at his face. 

“That’s why you asked me to call Minho to change the lock.”

“Yeah,” Jeongguk confirms with sad eyes. “I just... wouldn’t forgive myself if something happened to him while I wasn’t there.”

Another hum, before silence fills the room.

Namjoon seems to think over something, a hand slipping under his chin to support it while his eyes dart from one corner of the screen to another. The sound of the mouse echoes a few times as he keeps clicking, and it doesn’t exactly help with the nervous and tight knot inside Jeongguk’s chest. 

“This is strange.”

“What is?” Jeongguk quickly asks, trying to peek at whatever Namjoon is frowning at on his laptop. 

“The name you just told me, Ro Gyubin, I’ve heard it in another case, but I can’t seem to find it in the system. I do remember they tried to bury the case, and it ended up closing after a monetary settlement, but I didn’t know they’d succeed in erasing all traces of it...”

“What?” Jeongguk’s eyes snap wide open. It isn’t that the news is surprising on its own, the man looked and acted impulsively like he was above the law, and therefore far from being scared about getting into trouble once, twice, or even more than that. “Does it mean he was already charged with something before?” 

Namjoon nods positively. “It’ll be easier if I can put my hands on that case, but every witness’ testimony will be enough for me.”

“Will you contact Jimin, too? He knows more than I do.”

“I tried to call him, but he seems busy. I’ll try again once you leave.” 

A nod. It will take time, Jeongguk knows it, but he wishes this would be over in a blink of an eye. He wishes that Taehyung would be free. He wishes that those people pay for what they made Taehyung go through. 

“There’s something else I should put my hands on, too. Perhaps that doorman I saw last time will help me with that.”

Jeongguk tilts his head in confusion, not really following, and it is then that Namjoon lifts his head to look at him. And explain,

“The CCTV cameras in Taehyung’s building.”

— ✧ —

As promised, Yoongi came with a bag full of drinks for them, and although Taehyung told himself that he would never get too drunk again after that night out with Jimin, he feels like he might need a few drinks for the conversation he’s about to have with Yoongi. Among other things. 

“Would you like something to eat? I don’t have much but I have some leftovers that Jeongguk prepared,” Taehyung says, realizing a bit too late of what he said, piquing Yoongi’s curiosity.

“Wasn’t that the new bodyguard?”

There it is the word again. Suddenly, Taehyung’s stomach closes and he doesn’t feel like eating anymore. 

“Yeah, he—um, we’re kind of… together now.” And Yoongi chokes on his drink, Yeontan barking next to him as if to alert Taehyung that his friend is dying. 

“That was—Wow,” he chuckles and Taehyung sits on the couch next to him. “I mean, he did look like your type. Are you sure about it, though?” 

“Yeah, he’s—” not like them, Taehyung wants to say. “He’s okay, don’t worry about it. That’s not why I called you, though.” 

“I mean, I would assume so. An update on your love life could’ve been done on the phone,” Yoongi chuckles and takes another drink, handing Taehyung a bottle as well. “So? What is it?” 

“There are two things I have to tell you. They are kind of related, but which one would you like to hear first?” Taehyung asks, feeling nervous for some reason. What if Yoongi doesn’t want to help him? What if he thinks he’s being stupid and also tells him not to release his music?

“Is this a good-news-bad-news kind of situation?” Yoongi asks, but to be fair, Taehyung isn’t sure if they are either. It is just hard to tell. “Just tell me, Taehyung-ah,” he asks, his voice as gentle as usual. It always puzzled him how Yoongi can sound so aggressive behind the microphone when he’s recording songs but, outside of the booth, he’s the most gentle, soft-spoken person he’s ever met. 

“I’m going to try and report the company. And my ex-bodyguards,” he announces then. Yoongi’s surprise is evident in the way his eyes open widely. 

“What?” he questions, even though Taehyung knows he heard him. “Are you kidding?” 

“I’m not. I—I know it’s been a long time coming, especially the second part, but… I’m not sure if I ever told you why I never left before.” 

Because Taehyung knew what Yoongi would do, and he was scared. He of course knew about some of the stuff that happened with his bodyguards, but not the whole of it. 

“They have been blackmailing me for three years now, telling me that, if I ever dared to report the assaults by the bodyguards, they’d release a statement saying that it had been consensual and put me in a bad light. They had so much on me, hyung, I couldn’t—” he sighs, looking away. 

“Then what changed now?” Yoongi asks, probably confused. “Do they not have anything on you anymore?”

“No, they still do,” Taehyung admits in a whisper. “But I’m tired. I—I had been working on some music. I told you, remember? When you asked me to collab with you, I told you I had some ideas I wanted to work on. Well, I did. Recorded the whole thing, songs written and produced by myself alone because I wanted to challenge myself to do it. I even filmed a behind-the-scenes documentary as well and had everything ready but the company shut it down. They said there was no way they were releasing something that would paint them in a bad light because I talked about dark topics about feeling hostage and stuck,” Taehyung explains. “They told me that I had wasted mine and everyone’s time. But I don’t think I did. I know I didn’t,” Taehyung says, then. “I—I still want to release it. And I want to leave the company, and I thought—Well, actually, Jeongguk thought that maybe you could help me with that.” 

Yoongi stays quiet for a few seconds which feel like hours to Taehyung. He bites his lip and shakes his head, which scares him. 

“I’d say I can’t believe how much of a bunch of scum they all are, but I’d be lying. I’ve always known, that’s why I left. That’s why you should’ve come with me from the beginning,” Yoongi sighs, then. And Taehyung knows. Has regretted it ever since. “I’m so sorry that all of that happened to you, Taehyungie. You know that working on our craft and letting our darkest emotions out is never a waste of time. And I would love to help in any way you can, but I don’t think I’ll be able to until you don’t leave that company first.” 

“But will you? Will you actually bet on me and—let me release my album?” And Yoongi smiles, then, and reaches out and squeezes Taehyung’s hand. 

“I will. I don’t even need to hear the songs, I am no one to tell you what or what not to release. It’s your art, your craft, your music. Nobody should have a say on it but you.” 

And maybe that is the way it should have always been, maybe that is exactly what Taehyung needed to hear because he felt the weight that was on his shoulder dissipate right away. So much that he visibly gets smaller, that the air starts to get into his lungs and he even feels like crying. 

“I might need you to testify in court as well. The more witnesses and arguments we have against the company and the bodyguards, the better. And I know you will have a lot to say about the company’s ways. If you want, of course.” And there’s a spark in his eyes, then. A smirk. 

“Oh, trust me, I would love to.” And he clicks his bottle with Taehyung’s in a way that makes the younger boy laugh. “Just tell me when and where and I’ll be there.” 

“Thanks, hyung, really,” Taehyung smiles after he’s taken another sip. 

“Anytime, Taehyung-ah,” he smiles like he means it, and Taehyung knows he does. 

“Do you… Do you want to listen to my album while we drink? It might not really fit the mood but I—I kinda want you to hear it,” Taehyung asks, a bit shyly, but it’s Yoongi’s enthusiasm that makes him smile again. 

This is how it should’ve been. 

Taehyung goes to get his phone that he left in the kitchen earlier and sees he has a text from Jeongguk from not too long ago. 

from : baby bun ♡ — 08:36 p.m.
i’m done with namjoon hyungggg
sorry it took a bit too long
should i come over? 

And Taehyung turns to look at Yoongi who's also on his phone before he sends a picture to Jeongguk. 

to : baby bun ♡ — 08:52 p.m.
[image]
hyung came!
we’re gonna listen to the album now i’m nervous….. 

Jeongguk responds straight away as if he’d already been on Taehyung’s chat, waiting for a reply. Maybe he was. 

from : baby bun ♡ — 08:52 p.m.
oh, that’s great!!!
i’m sure he’ll love it hyung
see you tomorrow then :) 

Jeongguk doesn’t ask to come over again. 

Taehyung doesn’t offer, either. 

Chapter Text

Jeongguk hadn’t realized how much time he spent by Taehyung’s side until now. It has been a few days now since they’ve seen each other, a few days getting busy in their own way, and Jeongguk would be lying if he said that he doesn’t miss the warmth of Taehyung’s body against his, the comfort of his lips against his, and the sound of his lovely laugh. 

from : baby cub — 05:14 p.m.
i’m just leaving namjoon’s office!
miss u
come have dinner with me? 

With a smile playing on his lips, Jeongguk types down his response.

to : baby cub  — 05:15 p.m.
i’m out with a friend, i’m not sure about the time i go home
send me a picture of your meal!
i better not see another panda express take-out

A silent giggle as he sends his response, imagining the pout forming on Taehyung’s lips at the implied scolding.  

It’s their fifth, if not more, attempt at meeting each other ever since the day Jeongguk left Taehyung his painted portrait. And it is not that they do not wish to see each other, but rather that their schedules seem to clash with each other. Perhaps there is also a bit of something else, but Jeongguk doesn’t quite want to acknowledge it yet.

“Talking to your boyfriend?” 

Jeongguk laughs at Hoseok’s question, shaking his head in disbelief at the lack of hesitation in using that term. When he looks up from his phone, he meets Hoseok’s excited eyes. It’s all so funny to him. “I have not once said that, how would you know?” 

“Because I know you, Jeon Jeongguk. You haven’t changed, you know.”

“Yeah, you told me that last time,” he chuckles, amused by the grin playing on Hoseok’s face. Although he hears a few notifications making his phone buzz, he slides it into the pocket of his jacket and keeps walking through the halls of his old university, his eyes sweeping his surroundings. 

Today is the university’s open day. A few, young people are wandering through the building and between the multiple students’ works ranging from photography to fine art, and it is a nice way of reminiscing about the time both Jeongguk and Hoseok spent working days and nights on their Master’s project. 

“I gotta be honest, though, when you contacted me a few days ago about wanting to pick up photography again, I got surprised.”

A silent laugh shakes Jeongguk’s shoulders. “Why? ‘think it’s too late? Or am I too old for this? I’m not even in my thirties, you know,” he tries playfully.

“None of that,” Hoseok immediately clears out, “but I guess I thought that you wouldn’t want to start over again, after what you went through as a freelance photographer.” 

A nod. Hoseok isn’t wrong. When Jeongguk contacted him, he talked about the time he worked after graduating. Talked about the financial situation he was in, talked about the multiple refusals to expose his works or even the bad experience he had with clients that wouldn’t even pay him after the work has been done—it is only natural that Hoseok would think that, after this experience, Jeongguk wouldn’t want to try again. Wouldn’t want that to happen all over again. 

But it was another time. A time when having a muse wouldn’t pay his bills. A time when having a muse wouldn't bring him clients—because he was a simple, unknown, and inexperienced artist who’d spend too much time creating for someone he had never even met.

Now, he feels like he can finally try again and follow his passion. Although... try is the keyword here. His obligations are elsewhere, and he can not simply abandon everything, abandon Taehyung, simply to pursue his dreams. It is out of the picture.

“I just... want to see what the options are,” Jeongguk explains. “Even if it means I can’t work as a photographer again. I just want to create for myself.”

Hoseok nods, and hums. “Right, you still have your job as a bodyguard, right?” 

And at that, Jeongguk chuckles. Right. He almost forgot about that term.

Almost.

“When does the conference start?” Jeongguk asks, and Hoseok checks his watch before he lets out an audible gasp at the realization. 

“It’s starting soon! Let’s go before we can’t find any free seats!” 

With a nod, he follows Hoseok to the conference room on the second floor. He barely has the time to pick up his phone before it starts, muting it without seeing the few messages that just appeared, and hoping that they’re not important. One would have called if it was the case, he guesses.

Hopefully, the conference won’t last too long, and he’ll have enough time to call Taehyung and wish him a good night before the latter falls asleep.

Hopefully.

— ✧ —

It has been an intense couple of days, Taehyung can’t lie. He thinks he’s been to Namjoon’s office more than his own ever since they started the whole process. The first time he went back, he was supposed to go with Jeongguk but he had something else to take care of and didn’t make it, which meant Taehyung found himself in Namjoon’s office by himself as he gave him the list with all the names and told him a little bit about each of them so that he knew what exactly he would be suing them for, or at least, what allegations they could use against them. 

He went with Jimin to another meeting, since his friend didn’t want to go alone—although Taehyung felt like if he’d left halfway, neither of them would’ve noticed— and Namjoon got his testimony as well, which was hard to hear from his best friend’s lips. 

Taehyung also went to visit Yoongi at his company. He had been so very nervous and had also asked Jeongguk to join him but unfortunately, Jeongguk has also been busy working with Namjoon as well and helping him, so he couldn’t make it either. 

What was the point of having a bodyguard if he’s not with you at all times? he kept thinking, but he also knew Jeongguk was technically still working for him when being with Namjoon, so he couldn’t complain. 

Still, he missed him. A lot. 

It felt like they kept missing each other, somehow, and Taehyung was starting to get frustrated. 

He just finished another meeting with Namjoon where they tried profiling some of the staff from the company, and it had taken way longer than Taehyung thought it would, but he was finally free. So he texted Jeongguk. 

to : baby bun ♡ — 05:14 p.m.
i’m just leaving namjoon’s office!
miss u
come have dinner with me? 

from : baby bun   ♡ — 05:15 p.m.
i’m out with a friend, i’m not sure about the time i go home
send me a picture of your meal!
i better not see another panda express take-out

Bang. It felt like someone just shot him in the chest. He sighs and texts something else back. 

to : baby bun ♡ — 05:16 p.m.
alright have fun!
♡

And he pockets his phone again and gets ready to order a taxi home since he won’t have his boyfriend picking him up. 

On the way, he listens to some new music and replies to some emails that he’s been ignoring from his actual company about how he’s supposed to be recording his new single in a few days. He hasn’t stepped a foot inside that company ever since the day of his meeting, he thinks. And, if he could, he wouldn’t again. 

When he gets home, Tannie greets him and he thinks that at least someone seems happy to see him. He wants to kick himself in the ass for thinking that, but he can’t help it. 

Maybe it’s because of how the last time they actually saw each other ended or maybe it’s something else, but Taehyung has a bad feeling in his stomach, a daunting sensation in his chest and he doesn’t like it. 

He decides to cook something or try to, at least, just so that he can send a picture to Jeongguk and impress him. 

Maybe that way he’ll come. 

He looks for a recipe online and follows it thoroughly. He’s not sure if it will taste well, but at least it looks good when he puts everything on a plate, so he snaps a picture of him with the food and sends it to Jeongguk as well. 

to : baby bun ♡ — 07:21 p.m.
[image]
no panda express required i’m the only bear in this household
i made some extra in case you’re hungry 🥰

The texts get delivered but not read, so Taehyung locks his phone and starts to eat. It’s a bit bland, but it’s edible, so that’s enough for him. He keeps checking his phone every few minutes just in case only to find his message inbox empty. Or at least, empty from him. 

He sighs and decides to go to bed early, already knowing that it’s going to be another night sleeping on his own. 

But he can’t sleep, not that early, so, he thinks of something. And maybe it’s desperate, but maybe so is Taehyung, at this point. 

He turns off the light, only leaving a lamp on to set the mood, and calls Yeontan to jump on the bed with him, snapping a picture of the two of them, Taehyung’s pajama shirt hanging low on his collarbones, showing a good span of his skin. The skin Jeongguk liked to leave kisses on.

to : baby bun ♡ — 09:54 p.m.
[image]
someone misses u too …. 

Taehyung falls asleep with his phone in his hand and with no reply.

— ♤ —

Jeongguk can’t seem to fall asleep that night. 

Maybe it is because of the few drinks he’s shared with Hoseok, after the conference. Maybe it is because of the message he received earlier in the evening that managed to set off his erratic heart. 

He wasn’t, in all honesty, expecting to receive such a picture from Taehyung. Even less opening it right next to Hoseok who couldn’t help but peek in curiosity at what had Jeongguk gasp, and his whole face flushed. He had yet tried to control his own burning desires, but his body and heart seemed at their limits. That is why, to calm himself down, he decided to go out for a drink. Or two.

It ended up being quite a few—thankfully, he does hold his alcohol pretty well, even if Hoseok would argue and tell that Jeongguk becomes so sensitive that all and nothing would make him cry. Including mentioning even just once the name of his boyfriend. He is simply so deeply in love, and that feeling grows exacerbated with an intoxicated mind. It becomes so overwhelming that he can’t help but let it all out—in a good way.

to : baby cub — 2:35 p.m.
gnight
miss u
miss tannie too

Once the messages are sent with quite difficulty as his fingers seem to cooperate too slowly, Jeongguk scrolls up just enough to press on the picture Taehyung sent. He turns over on the bed, staring. Staring at how Taehyung’s shirt drops to reveal his neck, his collarbones, and gives a lot to imagination. And Jeongguk believes that it wasn’t Taehyung’s intention to do that, but his thoughts are... indecent, to say the least. Perhaps the alcohol isn’t helping him. But— god, he needs to sink into a freezing cold bath and shake himself back to reality.

Or else he’ll go insane.

“Wow, you look like shit.”

Jeongguk glares at Namjoon when he enters the office the following morning, and closes the door behind him. “Thanks, I’ll take the compliment.” 

A barely audible laugh bubbles up in Namjoon’s throat while he watches Jeongguk take a seat. It is not the lack of effort on Jeongguk’s part to look decent—he did take the time to brush his hair, take a shower, and put on some comfortable clothes—but he can’t exactly hide the fatigue that creeps under his eyes. 

“Went to party?” 

“I wish.”

Namjoon raises his eyebrows. “Something happened?”

“No,” Jeongguk is quick to reassure. “I mean... not really. I guess. Somehow.”

The vague response only makes Namjoon’s curiosity grow. “What is it?” 

Hard to tell. Nothing really happened, per se, but it is rather... a situation that is lasting for quite some time, now. Jeongguk closes his eyes for a moment, takes a deep breath, and shakes his head. “It’s just me. I feel like I’m somehow wronging Tae...”

Namjoon reaches to close his laptop and leans back against his chair, his eyes softening for a friend he sees worried. “How so?” 

It takes a moment for Jeongguk to answer. He can’t exactly tell something about their relationship. About how he feels guilty for having the thoughts he has, about how he’s scared of hurting Taehyung because, at the back of his mind, he wishes their relationship would go further. Instead, he decides to settle for, “I’m looking for new programs in my university.”

“Programs?” Namjoon asks, quite not following yet. “Are you thinking about going back to classes?” 

“Yeah,” Jeongguk sighs. “I think... Maybe I shouldn’t keep being a bodyguard, you know? I’m not even good at it, and I miss being a photographer.” He bites down on his lower lip, eyes meeting Namjoon when he admits, “I’ve been thinking about quitting.”

A nod. “I mean, I’d understand that you’d want to stop working for Taehyung for that reason.”

“It's not really like that. I just... I can’t give up on Taehyung like that. I want this case to free him from this situation, and only then I’ll decide on which path I’m going to follow. It’s just been messing with my head lately... I miss being an artist. I miss creating.” And it feels like he can be himself whenever he films for Taehyung, and whenever he draws and paints for him, too. 

“Did you tell him that?”

Jeongguk shakes his head with a faint laugh. “No, I—”

Knocks on the door interrupt them.

“Come in!” Namjoon calls before the door opens to let a man in a suit enter with a polite bow. A stranger’s face to Jeongguk, a familiar one to Namjoon.

“There is someone who left this for you,” the man informs when he gives a small envelope to Namjoon who thanks him with a smile and opens it to look at what resembles a disc. 

“What is it?” Jeongguk asks the moment the man steps outside, tilting his head in curiosity when Namjoon puts the envelope aside. He’ll probably look further into it once Jeongguk leaves, too.

“Something very important for the case,” Namjoon explains with a smile of relief and satisfaction. As if he’s battled or waited for quite some time to get his hands on that. Whether it is footage or a recording of any sort, it looks like it is quite significant. “This is going to be over sooner than I thought.”

At his words, Jeongguk breathes out a sigh of relief.

Finally. This is all coming to an end. 

— ✧ —

Taehyung can’t help the foolish smile that creeps into his face when he wakes up and sees that Jeongguk did reply to his texts. A few hours late, but he did. Taehyung still wishes he would’ve come over and slept next to him, though. 

He sighs and locks his phone again, getting out of bed and ready for the day. He’s pouring himself a bit of juice when someone knocks on the door, and he frowns. 

Tan starts to bark straight away, and Taehyung has to go and pick him up to calm him down. 

“Sh, it’s okay,” Taehyung whispers as he walks to the door, feeling a little bit scared. But, when he peeks through the door, he sees Mr. Yeo and he relaxes. 

“Good morning, Taehyung-ssi,” he says with a polite bow when he opens the door. 

“Good morning! What brings you here?” Taehyung asks with a smile. 

“I managed to get… the thing you asked me for,” he tells him, looking around as if someone was watching him. Taehyung knows it’s impossible, but he appreciates the secrecy because he knows what the man is talking about. 

“Oh! That was quicker than I thought, thank you so much!” Taehyung smiles and takes the disk from the doorman’s hands. 

“Of course. And, Sir…” the man starts, still not meeting his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes and bows deeply again, but Taehyung prompts him to stop. 

“No, no, don’t—it’s alright,” he quickly responds, feeling bad. Taehyung assumes that, while trying to find things, he had to watch them. “This will help everything to be over soon, so thank you, truly.” 

After that, the man leaves and Taehyung resumes having his breakfast. He has no other plans for today, so he’ll drop by Namjoon’s office to hand him the CCTV footage that he asked him for a few days ago. And, who knows? Maybe after that, he can finally see his boyfriend. 

For once, he drives himself there, not wanting to take another cab, and because the skies are threatening and he would not like to get caught wet waiting for one. 

Finding a parking spot on that side of town is a nightmare on his own, so it takes Taehyung longer than he thought to make it to the building. 

He puts his mask and hat on again so that people don’t recognize him and gets inside. To be fair, he’s pretty sure people have already gotten used to seeing him around every other day. He’s surprised there haven’t been any articles on it yet. 

He rides the elevator up to Namjoon’s office and, it’s not until he’s right outside the door, ready to knock, that he hears it. 

“I’ve been thinking about quitting.”

He freezes and his heart seems to stop right there and then. 

That’s Jeongguk’s voice. 

“I mean, I’d understand that you’d want to stop working for Taehyung for that reason.” Taehyung hears Namjoon this time, but he can’t face hearing anything else, so he turns around, starting to feel the world crumble around him, feeling his chest tight and his breathing heavy. He’s not even seeing straight as he walks back to the elevator and he runs into someone. 

“S–Sorry,” he stutters, shaking himself back into reality. “Could you, um–give this to Kim Namjoon? I think he’s in a meeting or something and I’m in a rush so I can’t stay,” Taehyung lies and, before the guy can even say yes or no, he gives it to him and runs away from there. Given, it’s not very smart of him to hand some key evidence to a random guy he ran into, it’s not like he can think straight right now. 

I’ve been thinking about quitting. 

I’ve been thinking about quitting. 

I’ve been thinking about quitting. 

It plays over and over as the elevator goes down, and Taehyung feels his entire being go down with it, down to the darkness he’s been trying to push away for days. 

All the whispers that have been haunting him in the middle of the night every time Jeongguk wasn’t there to hold him suddenly feel like piercing screams ready to shatter him. 

He’s thinking about quitting, he doesn’t want him, and he’s probably also thinking about leaving him, too. 

He finds his car and locks himself there and lets himself cry. He tries not to think the worst, but how can he not? He hasn’t seen him in almost a week. Every time he tries to reach out, they end up not meeting. Every time he tried to kiss him or go further he—

You’re disgusting, Taehyung. 

That first day, Jeongguk still didn’t know everything. 

He should’ve stayed shut. 

And now he’s going to lose him, too, because he didn’t. 

He reaches for his pocket until he remembers he doesn’t smoke anymore. He almost laughs at how easy it was to quit for him. And how much he needs it right now. But instead, his hands close around his phone, and sees that he has a missed call from Jimin.

Jimin. He can help him. 

So he calls him back. 

“Good morning, my love,” Jimin singsongs when he picks up, as bubbly as always, clearly unaware of the turmoil going on in Taehyung’s brain right now. 

“Min-ah, where are you?” Taehyung asks, out of breath. 

“Wh—Are you okay? Where’s Jeongguk?” Jimin asks him since Jeongguk should probably be there with him. Be there if something happened. 

Taehyung only wants to cry more. 

“Where are you?” Taehyung asks again. 

“Home, I’m home, Taehyung-ah. You’re scaring me.” 

But Taehyung hangs up after telling him that he’ll be there in five. 

And he drives, fast. And makes it there in three. 

“Please, tell me I’m overreacting,” Taehyung asks holding a chamomile tea to calm his nerves. Jimin gave one to him as soon as he arrived. “But don’t tell me because I told you to. Actually, mean it.”

“You’re overreacting,” Jimin sighs. “Like, I can see why you’re overreacting, but babe… why don’t you talk to him first before you run to conclusions?” 

“Because I can’t seem to be able to, Jimin!” Taehyung snaps, then. “I—I haven’t seen him in like a week and our texts aren’t even—” he sighs again. “I don’t know what to do. I—I gave my heart to him too soon, didn’t I?” 

“No, you didn’t,” Jimin reaches out for his hands, then. “You didn’t. He really cares about you, Tae, I’ve seen it. So just—If he’s not coming to you, then just go to him instead. And try to—Try to just not think the worst just yet, yeah? And if I’m wrong, I’ll be right here with more tea and hugs,” he smiles and Taehyung sighs. 

“Okay.” 

And he tries to calm his demons down as he drives to the address he’s had for a while but still hasn’t been to. 

Jeongguk’s. 

— ♤ —

By the time Jeongguk comes home, the sun is setting, hidden behind dark, threatening clouds. Thankfully for him, it only starts raining when he steps into his apartment—he had forgotten about his umbrella, so he was definitely lucky this time around. 

The first thing he does is take a warm shower and slide into oversized, white clothes before he comes back to the living room and takes a seat at the table.

from : hoseok hyung — 07:59 p.m.
the signs up for the contemporary art evening classes are open!
you have two months to sign up
u gonna do it? 

Jeongguk smiles at that. Two months should be enough for the case to be over, right? It should give him and Taehyung the time to talk about it, too, if he decides on pursuing it. 

to : hoseok hyung — 8:02 p.m.
yeah
i think i’m gonna do it
i just need to talk to taehyungie first

from : hoseok hyung — 8:03 p.m.
of course
go talk to your boyfriend
;)

Jeongguk laughs at the emoji Hoseok sent. When he’s about to type out another response, he startles at the sudden knocks on his door, followed by the boasting thunder splitting the dark sky outside. 

“I’m coming!” Jeongguk yells when the persistent knocks keep going, wondering if the doorbell is broken for the person to keep throwing their fist at the door like that. Jumping out of his seat, he rushes to the door, and when he opens it, his breath gets caught in his throat. 

His mouth parts, but no sound slips out of it. His eyes watch the one standing before him, the one drenched by the rain he failed to notice but can nonetheless hear now. Watches how those eyes stare back at him, and it makes his heart drop to his feet.

“T—Tae,” Jeongguk ends up stuttering with a concerned look on his face, surprised to see Taehyung at his doorstep for the very first time. His eyes are slightly puffy and red like he’s been crying and Jeongguk wants to reach for his face, to pull him inside, and yet, astonishment plants him on the spot. “What happened? You’re drenched!” He can’t help but add another silly question to that, “Are you alright?” 

Does he look alright?

“I missed you,” Taehyung puts it bluntly. Three little words that carry so much weight and Jeongguk can see the honesty in his eyes. He doesn’t even get the chance to say anything back before Taehyung breaks the distance and kisses his lips, the door closing after them when he starts walking further into the apartment. 

“Tae,” Jeongguk whispers against his lips, but it only seems to urge Taehyung into deepening the kiss. Into clutching at his clothes, as if he fears that Jeongguk will disappear if he lets go even for a second.

Jeongguk lets himself be guided backward while he brings his hands to Taehyung’s waist, melting into the kiss, and parting his lips to meet his tongue. 

The rain pours and knocks against the windows, and the desperate sounds of their lips colliding fill the apartment, along with their ragged breathing each time they part for a fraction of a second before melting against each other all over again. 

“Baby,” Jeongguk breathes out in a moan that gets muffled into Taehyung’s mouth. His back collides with the wall, only a few steps from his bedroom, and his hands trail down Taehyung’s thighs while he leans into the painfully passionate kiss. The urge to dig his fingers into Taehyung’s thighs, to run his lips down, and down his body, starts to buzz inside Jeongguk’s mind. So loud, so desperate, that he believes he’s definitely going insane this time if he doesn’t stop right there. 

Fears that if they don’t stop now, he might hurt Taehyung.

“Taehyung,” he tries yet once again when he breaks the kiss, their lips red and desperate for more, while their eyes are still lost in the moment, lost in the desire that makes Jeongguk’s mind go hazy. “We shouldn’t—”

“What?! We shouldn’t what, Jeongguk?” he asks, then, but it’s as if he answers the question himself because he shakes his head and takes a step back, hands leaving Jeongguk’s body altogether. “I better go.” 

“W—wait!” 

But Taehyung isn’t listening. He runs out of there. 

Into the storm. 

— ✧ —

Taehyung isn’t even out of the building yet when the tears start rolling down his face. He isn’t even out of the building when he feels his heart shatter and leaves its pieces behind with every step he takes. 

The rain falls heavy on him, even heavier than it did a few minutes ago when he arrived, and maybe it’s a blessing. Maybe that way his tears can be camouflaged so that it looks like he’s not crying like he’s not dying from a broken heart. 

He was right.

All he needed was proof and he got it. 

Jeongguk doesn’t want him anymore.

He feels sick, feels disgusting, and feels like the piece of paper that gets stuck in someone’s shoe at a festival after being walked upon by a thousand people. 

Feels like he’s back there to the first night after Junhyeok left but in reverse. Feels like maybe all his ghosts, all his scars and battle wounds are visible, still. 

And if someone as good, as kind, as loving as Jeongguk can’t love him, can’t want him, then who will? 

Maybe the people at the company were right. Maybe Junhyeok, Hunho, Leehyuk, Arin, Harim, Moonseok, Seodam, and Gyubin were right, too. 

He’s just a pretty face, just a quick fuck. Something nice to look at but not to hold. Never to hold. 

He doesn’t realize how much he’s spiraling, how much his own demons are swallowing him until a hand grabs his wrist and turns him around. 

It’s him.

“Taehyung, please, let’s talk inside!” Jeongguk begs, and when he sees the tears falling heavy on Taehyung’s cheeks, almost hidden under the rain, his eyes start to brim with worry. “What’s—” he pauses for a very short second, his hold only tightening around Taehyung’s wrist as if he fears that he’ll run away again, “—what’s wrong?”

“No! Don’t—” he snaps his arm off Jeongguk’s hold. “I can’t do this anymore,” he cries, almost screaming. The streets are empty because of the storm and it almost feels as if the entire world has ended. 

Taehyung surely feels like his world has. 

“What—” Panic painted all over his face, Jeongguk tries to reach for Taehyung’s hand yet once again, “What do you mean? Please, love, talk to me!”  

“Love? ” Taehyung can’t help but laugh. “You can drop the act, now. I’m doing you a favor,” his demons speak for him and he doesn’t stop them. They’re right, they’ve always been right. 

“What are you talking about?” Jeongguk keeps asking with the same confusion in his eyes, and if he’s pretending not to know a thing about what he did—he’s damn good at it. And it’s infuriating. “Please, let’s get inside, you’re gonna get sick! Did—” he swallows thickly, “did something happen?”

“I’m losing you! That’s what happened!” Taehyung screams back. “And I don’t give a fuck if I get sick anymore! I might as well just—” A sob cuts his words before he can finish the sentence. 

“What? You’re not—” For once, Jeongguk seems to be lost, too confused, too panicked to be even able to think about what to do. So he takes a step forward and reaches to cup Taehyung’s face urgently, shaking his own head vigorously while he tries to reassure him, “You’re not losing me, Taehyung, baby, please, what happened for you to think that?”

“Stop! Just—” But he can’t, anymore. He can’t, so he breaks in Jeongguk’s embrace. “I know you want to quit. I know you want to leave me,” he cries, or maybe it’s the rain, he’s not sure anymore. But it hurts. It hurts so much. “You’re probably regretting it, aren’t you? Kissing me that day,” he adds. “Or otherwise you wouldn’t push me away every single time.”

“It’s—” Jeongguk’s mouth parts in surprise, the words seemingly sinking and making him realize what he did. He looks... devastated. “It’s not like that, I don’t want to leave you,” he explains, trying to caress Taehyung’s skin but it might be the panic cursing through his body that makes his fingers slightly shake around Taehyung’s face. “I didn’t realize it was hurting you, I—” he closes his eyes for a moment, before he meets Taehyung’s watery ones, “I didn’t mean to push you away. I was scared. Scared that I would hurt you, scared that my touches would trigger those bad memories once again, and— god, Taehyung, you don’t know how hard it was for me to stop when all I wanted was you— all of you.”

“Then fucking have me, Jeongguk!” Taehyung cries desperately. “Or leave before I can’t go back anymore because I love you but maybe they were right and I’m just not—”

Jeongguk crashes their lips together with urgency, kissing him like it’s the last time while the rain only falls heavier over them. Yet his words reassure him, a desperate confession that Taehyung hears clearly, “I love you,” admitted in between two passionate kisses, “I’m in love with you. It has always been you, and only you.”

Taehyung feels his heart in his throat as if it wanted to run away and go home, go to him. His eyes find Jeongguk in a second there and he notices that he is also crying, desperately wanting Taehyung to hear him, to believe him. 

“Don’t leave me,” Taehyung begs in a whisper, almost drowned out by the sound of thunder over their heads, by the sound of the rain around them, by the sob he lets out unwillingly. 

“I won’t,” Jeongguk responds, sealing the promise with another kiss before he’s guiding Taehyung back into the building, to escape the storm that has already drenched them entirely. “I love you,” he says again against Taehyung’s trembling lips, the words repeating again and again as they make their way back into the apartment.

“I’m sorry,” Taehyung whispers against his lips, tears still making their kisses taste salty. But he pulls Jeongguk closer by his soaked shirt, closer until they’re pressed together and Taehyung’s body is pressed against the closed door of Jeongguk’s apartment. 

“Don’t be,” is the only thing he whispers back before he captures Taehyung’s lips with the same urgency. He draws his body back ever so slightly, just enough to pull his shirt up and off of him, letting Taehyung throw it somewhere behind him, and it’s only then that his hand is back on the nape of Taehyung’s neck, lips finding each other again. His skin under Taehyung's touch burns and he can’t stop his hands from wandering, from going up and down his torso, feeling his muscles tense when he pulls him closer, hands on his hips. The taste of his tongue feels new even if it isn’t, and the burning desire running through Taehyung’s veins then feels like it’s ready to set the entire world on fire. 

“Touch me,” Taehyung breathes on his ear before he pulls his earrings into his mouth. “Please.”

And Jeongguk indulges him. His lips trail down Taehyung’s jaw toward his collarbones, while his fingers run under the shirt Taehyung is still wearing, opening it as he kisses and mouths at the skin. When he takes Taehyung’s shirt off completely, he slides his hands under Taehyung’s thighs and lifts him up so easily, as if he weighs nothing, and guides them toward the bedroom. Taehyung’s hands find their way back to Jeongguk’s hair, then, pulling enough to bring his lips back to his own, to taste him again, to brush his tongue against his lower lip until Jeongguk lets him in without any resistance. 

And he gasps when his body hits the mattress, dragging Jeongguk down with him and pulling him down with his legs still around his waist, pressing them together. He can’t help the slight moan that slips past his raw-kissed lips, then. 

When their lips part with a wet sound, Jeongguk trails his tongue down again, until he catches Taehyung’s nipple between his lips, teasing it while his hands caress Taehyung’s side and comes gently pressing down on his thighs to have his legs spread further. It’s only after he lowers his head again, his body slightly shifting back that he looks up to meet Taehyung’s gaze, his eyes filled with desire, lust, but also love. “Can I?” he asks in a whisper, his fingers finding their way to the zip of Taehyung’s pants, his face so, so fucking close to the visible bulge. Taehyung just nods, biting his lip and finding Jeongguk’s hair again. “Tell me, love.” 

“Yes, please,” he almost whines as he arches his hips a little to be closer to him. 

And it’s enough for Jeongguk to get rid of Taehyung’s pants, and bring his fingers back to Taehyung’s thighs, digging ever so slightly into the skin while he leans forward to nuzzle into the inside of his thigh. So, so close to Taehyung’s length. And, with a satisfied smile at the whimper that escapes Taehyung’s lips, Jeongguk drags his tongue down Taehyung’s cock through the fabric, only using his mouth. Mouthing at it while his fingers press against Taehyung’s thighs to keep his legs spread for him, his eyes opening when he parts to let Taehyung see the wet patch he made on the fabric, his saliva mixed with precum. “You’re so sensitive,” he rasps with a smile. “Don’t keep quiet, let me hear your voice if I make you feel good. Alright?” And Taehyung hums, nods, bites his lip at how affected he already is, at how much Jeongguk is already picking him apart in the best way. 

“It’s—” he gulps, hand traveling back down to cover his tummy a little bit. “It’s been a while,” he admits. Truthfully, Taehyung’s never been at this end of it, so he’s not even sure if he’ll handle it. Handle Jeongguk’s mouth on him like that. Just from the little taste he just got, he felt like his entire body would burst. 

Jeongguk’s hands gently caress Taehyung’s skin, and he presses a soft kiss against Taehyung’s hand as he asks, “Tell me if you want me to stop or slow down at any moment, alright?” His fingers slowly slide under the waistband of Taehyung’s briefs as he waits for a response, always so careful and attentive to Taehyung’s needs. And he wants to cry. In the best way possible. 

“Okay, just—start slow, yeah?” he asks, almost shyly, trapping his own lip in between his teeth.

“Of course, love.” Jeongguk pulls on the waistband, gently getting rid of Taehyung’s briefs before bringing his hands back to Taehyung’s thighs, comforting touches to get him used to it. He presses his lips back against Taehyung’s lower stomach, kissing his way down until his lips drag from the base of Taehyung’s length up. He does it once, twice with more intensity, mouthing at the base before he comes wrapping his lips around the tip.

“O-oh,” Taehyung gasps at the sensation, at the overwhelming feelings that wrap him over the way Jeongguk did just now. His hands come to his sides, then, tightening against Jeongguk’s already messed-up sheets. 

At his reaction, Jeongguk glances at Taehyung just for a second, just to make sure, before he closes his eyes and sinks down on him. Slowly, maybe too slowly, but he lets his jaw go lax as he takes Taehyung to the hilt as if to get him used to what’s to come. As if to get sure, too, that he can take all of Taehyung inside his mouth.

“Holy shit,” Taehyung moans, unable to hold back, unable to keep his hips from bucking slightly into the warmth of Jeongguk’s mouth. He’s trying so hard not to, trying so hard to just—hold it. And his hands ache to touch him, too, but they’re still clasping the sheets. Tighter now and he fears he might rip them. 

When Jeongguk pulls himself off with a wet pop, he brings a hand to the base of Taehyung’s cock and takes half inside his mouth again, bobbing his head at a steady pace while his fingers stroke what he doesn’t fit inside. His tongue drags along those veins, spit mixing with precum and dribbling down his hand as he builds up the rhythm, slowly, but it grows intense very quickly. His other hand tries to press down on Taehyung’s quivering thigh, his fingers digging into the flesh as if he needs to keep himself grounded too so as to not go any faster.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Taehyung cries, then, feeling so overwhelmed by the emotions that he needs a break or else he’ll come undone right there. And he doesn’t want to, not yet. And the way Jeongguk immediately stops, looking up from where he is to meet Taehyung’s eyes, worried, mouth still parted, lips glistening from the mix of saliva and Taehyung’s own precum makes him see stars. “Kiss me,” he moans, then, needing him closer again.

And Jeongguk indulges him after licking his own lips, his hand letting go of Taehyung’s length to run up and over his curves, gently caressing his skin. “Too much?” he asks in a whisper against Taehyung’s lips, the fingers previously on his thigh now running through Taehyung’s hair soothingly.

“Little bit too good,” Taehyung admits with a light chuckle, finding his lips again, tasting himself on Jeongguk’s tongue and it makes him moan again on his lips, his leg going over Jeongguk’s body then to feel the friction against his still clothed thighs. “You’re too good,” Taehyung admits with such honesty that he blushes, after. Almost as if he would’ve stopped himself from saying it if he could, scared he’ll be too much. 

“I’m glad you enjoy my mouth on you,” Jeongguk breathes out an amused laugh, a satisfied smile on his lips that prevents Taehyung from kissing him properly. “Wait,” he drags his tongue over Taehyung’s lower lip that he gently traps between his teeth before he draws himself back just enough to reach for the nightstand. “Don’t ask me why I keep it here,” he says as he pulls out a bottle of lube as well as condoms. And he feels the need to reassure when he meets Taehyung’s eyes again, “It’s been a while for me, too.” And, for some reason, that makes him a bit nervous. As if maybe Jeongguk will think that all the wait wasn’t worth it, somehow. But he kisses him again, kisses him to shut down his demons before they get the chance to ruin this for him. He won’t let them. 

His hands trail down Jeongguk’s body, then, finding the waistband of his pants and pulling them down slowly. Good thing he was wearing loungewear and they come off easy because Taehyung feels like if they offered any resistance he would lose his mind and rip them. 

And he feels how much Jeongguk wants him now, feels it with every touch, with every move, with every kiss he drops across his skin. Feels it in the way his cock presses against Taehyung’s bare thigh, now. And he lifts it enough to apply some pressure there and hear him for the first time. 

“Fuck,” Jeongguk curses as his fingers dig into Taehyung’s thigh, and he has to take a moment to breathe in with his eyes closed as if he had already been on edge since the beginning. He bites down on his lower lip and pulls himself up from where he was kissing Taehyung’s collarbones to reach for the bottle of lube. “How do you want it?” he asks, his hand caressing Taehyung’s thigh. “Are you comfortable like this?” 

“I want you,” Taehyung speaks honestly, hand on Jeongguk’s cheek to look into his eyes. “Any way you’ll have me.” And at that, Taehyung feels Jeongguk’s cock twitch against his thigh.

“You’re gonna be the end of me,” Jeongguk breathes out, his eyes burning with desire, before he opens the bottle and pours some of it into his fingers. “Tell me if it feels like it’s too much,” he tells, bringing his fingers to the inside of Taehyung’s thighs until they make their way to his cheeks which he spreads with one hand. For a second, he seems to battle with his own thoughts or choice of words, Taehyung isn’t sure, but Jeongguk ends up admitting with his face flushed either with a burning desire or because of his own words, “You’re so pretty everywhere. Fuck.” And Taehyung gets so shy that he has to cover his own face with his arm. 

“Stop,” he whines, not really meaning it. Not really wanting him to. And it gets worse when Jeongguk actually does. “I’m not sure what’s more dangerous, your mouth on me or the words that come out of it,” and he bites his lip, finding Jeongguk’s eyes again. 

A laugh bubbles at Jeongguk’s lips, a satisfied smile playing on them. “I can’t help it. You’re just so gorgeous. I’m really lucky, aren’t I?” he chuckles again before he leans in to kiss Taehyung once more, while the tip of his fingers brushes at his entrance, the touch slightly cold despite how he tried to warm up the lube. “Is this fine?” he murmurs, making sure that he isn’t going too fast for Taehyung. And he nods, brushing their noses together before he kisses him again. 

“Stay up here, yeah?” He whispers against his lips as his finger starts sinking in more, and he gulps, arching his back and kissing Jeongguk again, grounding himself, keeping his eyes open to see him, Jeongguk. 

His movements are slow, not setting any pace yet but simply making sure that Taehyung gets used to the feeling, first. “You feel so warm,” he murmurs, his words muffled into Taehyung’s lips, and he gently eases him into parting his mouth to let his tongue distract him the moment he adds another finger. And although it enters without resistance, it still feels so tight. So, Jeongguk doesn’t move yet, except when he slightly crooks his fingers inside. “Relax,” Jeongguk comforts, his free hand caressing Taehyung’s sides in hopes that it helps him relax his body. “Is it too much?”

“N-No, it’s just—” he takes a deep breath, trying to coax his body into relaxing, into melting against his touch, against him. “It’s hard,” he whispers instead. Doesn’t really wanna bring back the past, and doesn’t want to ruin the moment, but the feeling burns in his gut. Although nobody ever did for him what Jeongguk is doing now, the intrusion makes him go back a little, and it’s taking his body longer than he’d like to, to just give himself to Jeongguk the way he wants to. The way he craves to.

“Hey, hey, baby, look at me,” Jeongguk is quick to call for Taehyung’s attention, having sensed the slight panic, while his own hand between Taehyung’s thighs freezes. “Do you want me to pull out? Do you want to take a moment to breathe? Please, tell me.” 

Taehyung’s kiss on his lips then is sweet. Sweet like a thank you, an I’m sorry and an I love you wrapped in a peachy-tasting kiss. 

“Maybe I can—” And he takes his hand down his own body until his finger finds Jeongguk’s hand and pulls him off, moaning at the feeling. “I can do it myself,” he finishes, the look in Jeongguk’s eyes unreadable. 

“Are you sure?” Jeongguk brings both of his hands to Taehyung’s thighs, softly stroking the skin. “You shouldn’t force it if you’re not ready, cub. You should feel good, you know that, right?”

“I know, I do,” He reassures him, caressing his cheek and kissing the tip of his nose. “It feels so fucking good, I just—I think it will help if it’s… me,” he explains, hoping that Jeongguk doesn’t mind, hoping that he won’t get upset or it will ruin the moment in any way. “Is that okay?” he asks, almost scared. But Jeongguk is quick to nod and break into a warm, reassuring smile.

“Take your time.” Jeongguk reaches for the lube to help and pours just a bit more onto Taehyung’s fingers to make the slide more comfortable for him. “I won’t go anywhere, alright?” his amused tone helps with Taehyung’s doubts, and Jeongguk’s gentle touches on his skin do the same, too. “Don’t rush it. Go slow. You should enjoy it too.”

“Babe, I’ve done this before,” Taehyung chuckles, then. It’s adorable. He’s adorable. He kisses him quickly, a smile still on his face as he approaches his own hole, humming against Jeongguk’s lips. 

With his other hand, he reaches forward and grabs his boyfriend’s bulge, sneaking his hand inside his briefs. 

“You should also get ready, huh?” he bites Jeongguk’s lower lip before he wraps his hand around Jeongguk’s cock, and his own finger slides with ease into him. Maybe Jeongguk’s are a bit thicker, but his are longer. 

“D-Don’t,” Jeongguk stutters at the touch that sent shivers down his spine and made his hips twitch. “I am ready when you are. I want to come inside you,” he admits to already being so close after only watching and touching Taehyung, and Taehyung quite didn’t notice how hard Jeongguk had been until now.

“Fuck, baby you can’t just say that,” Taehyung moans at his words and at the feeling inside him. The slide is easy for him, so it doesn’t take long for him to add another finger in, mouth hanging open and pressing his hips against Jeongguk’s feeling him against his own hard-on. “Shit, two aren’t enough, are they?” he groans, because he felt Jeongguk against his palm and knows he isn’t small. But he needs him. 

The overwhelming emotions are starting to get the best of him and he just doesn’t want himself to come before it’s time. 

Jeongguk exhales heavily, and he seems to swallow whatever words that were threatening to fall to say, instead, “I don’t want to hurt you. Can you open yourself up a bit more?” And his voice already sounds so desperate, his breathing quickening, but he still manages to wait, to care, to worry about not hurting Taehyung in any way, even if the wait seems to make his fingers shake ever so slightly around Taehyung’s thighs. “Just one more finger,” he murmurs.  

“Okay, okay,” Taehyung nods, telling himself that he can take it, that he can wait a bit longer. He scissors his fingers inside and doesn’t miss the way Jeongguk’s eyes are focused on his movements, and it’s just so hot to see him like that. To see him wait for him. “Come here,” he whispers before he kisses him again. And it’s a messy kiss this time, all tongues and spit dribbling down their chins because they just can’t help themselves anymore. 

Taehyung gets another finger in as Jeongguk is sucking his tongue into his mouth and the sound he lets out should’ve been embarrassing, but it isn’t. 

“I need you, now,” He admits, panting already. At this point, he doesn’t care if the slide hurts, because he knows it’ll be worth it. And the back of his mind reminds him that it will never hurt as much as it did in the past. “Please.” 

“Fuck, yes, wait,” Jeongguk curses as he draws himself back just enough to get rid of his own, soaked briefs, his cock slapping wetly against his own stomach while he clumsily reaches for the condoms. He’s flushed all over, hair sticking to his forehead and desire making his chest heave. And once he slides the condom down his length, and pours more lube over it again—not even caring that it becomes too messy—he looks up to meet Taehyung’s gaze as he positions himself between his legs. And... god, his eyes are so intense, filled with desperate need, and yet he still waits for one, last permission.

“Do it,” Taehyung nods, arms around his neck, hands in his hair, pulling ever-so-slightly. “Fuck me, love me. I’m yours,” he whispers against his lips, ready to give himself to him completely. 

Jeongguk’s abdomen spasms with a choked breath he swallows down at those words, a hand guiding himself before he catches Taehyung’s lips into a messy, passionate kiss the moment he thrusts slowly inside, his hips shaking at how hard it is to control his pace. His hands are on Taehyung’s waist, fingers digging into the skin while he bottoms out. “I love you,” he breathes out heavily against Taehyung’s lips, a moan muffled into his mouth when Taehyung clenches around him.

“I love you,” he says right back, pressing their foreheads together as he breathes heavily, adjusting. “Lemme see you, yeah?” his eyes find Jeongguk’s, then. His hands travel down his bare back as he helps him push deeper, letting him know that it’s okay, that he’s more than okay.

And Jeongguk takes the cue. His hips roll back, pulling back until only the tip remains inside before he snaps them forward, his lips trailing down to Taehyung’s jaw. His thrusts are slow at first, but he soon builds up a faster, steadier pace, his hands lowering, and lowering until they slightly raise Taehyung’s thighs, and— “There it is,” Jeongguk breathes out heavily, the smile clearly audible in his shaky voice. And Taehyung feels it, too. Lets his back arch, lets his voice out, and feels the electricity run through every nerve of his body as Jeongguk keeps hitting that very same spot. 

“Shit, shit, baby, fuck, ” he moans, slightly overwhelmed, but he doesn’t stop him. He feels like, if he stops him right now, he might die. Or maybe he’s a bit dramatic but he’s an artist, after all. Drama is part of the package. “Feels so good,” he breathes out, head thrown back in the pillow, hands finding Jeongguk’s where he’s holding his legs. 

“Can you touch yourself?” Jeongguk’s breathing is ragged, heavy against Taehyung’s ear, and he’s mouthing at Taehyung’s neck, his movements less precise, much faster, and the sound of his hips smacking wetly against Taehyung’s skin is so loud, so obscene as it mixes with the squelch of the lube being fucked right back inside him. “Don’t wanna come before you do,” he admits. “But you feel so warm, so tight around me.”

“I’m not sure I need to,” Taehyung admits because he feels like he’s teetering on the edge of his own orgasm already. And with each thrust, he’s getting closer and closer, and closer. “Oh my God,” Taehyung screams when he does wrap his hand around his own cock. And it’s too much, but it feels so good. 

And the explosion hits him like a tidal wave, he comes all over his chest, clenching involuntarily around Jeongguk who groans in his ear as Taehyung keeps moaning, keeps saying words that probably don’t mean anything, but his brain is fried. He’s gone and he’s not sure if he’s ever coming down. 

He barely registers when Jeongguk comes, too, mostly with how violently his hips quiver when he’s buried to the hilt, partially with how his cock twitches inside Taehyung, between those tight walls. But he does hear the moan that escapes Jeongguk’s lips, making his spent cock twitch one last time. 

“Fuck,” Jeongguk curses against Taehyung’s ear, his chest heaving against Taehyung’s. He’s ever so slightly moving, very faint thrusts to help Taehyung ride out his orgasm before he pulls out. “You’re—” he tries to ask, out of breath, “feeling good?”

But Taehyung’s still gone, all he can do is turn around and bury his nose in Jeongguk’s neck and hum, feeling slightly bad about the fact that his come still all over his chest, but he just needs him close. 

“I love you,” Jeongguk whispers, then, his fingers caressing Taehyung’s sides, while he nuzzles into Taehyung’s hair. He doesn’t seem to care one bit about the mess sticking to their skin but rather focused on making Taehyung feel relaxed and comfortable in his arms. Keeps talking to him through it, lying more comfortably by his side to offer Taehyung the comfort he needs, right now. “Felt so good. ‘did so well for me, my love.”

“Thank you,” he speaks against his skin, like a secret, even though they seem to be the only two people in the world right now. At least, the only two that Taehyung cares about right then. He drops a kiss on his neck, another one on his shoulder as his hands come and find comfort against Jeongguk’s skin. “I love you.” He admits now as he comes down from it all, as he comes down from the high of all the emotions that they’ve gone through since Taehyung pulled up at his door soaking wet from the storm. 

And it’s only then, as he’s starting to doze off in Jeongguk’s arms, totally spent after the intensity of their pleasure that it dawns on him: there was nobody else in the room with them. 

All his ghosts, all the nightmares that walked alongside Taehyung for so long, all the fears he had. As soon as Jeongguk was right there with him, as soon as they became one, there was just nobody else. 

Taehyung always thought that whenever he found that one person he would be ready to do this with, that the demons in his mind would be too loud, that the ghost of foreign touches would ruin it, but they didn’t. 

All Taehyung could think about was Jeongguk, Jeongguk, Jeongguk. 

Like nobody else in the world mattered, and the truth is that they didn’t. 

Not when his lover was treating him so kindly, not when he was finally taken into consideration, taken care of. 

Taehyung’s consciousness drifts away from him as he feels Jeongguk breathing next to him, as he hears his heart beating at the same pace as Taehyung’s own. 

He drifts away feeling lucky that the universe brought him Jeongguk, in the end. 

— ♤ —

Jeongguk felt silly. Silly for believing that he’d hurt Taehyung for listening to his own needs, to his own desires and lust. Silly for believing that he wasn’t hurting Taehyung by doing the complete opposite. No matter how good his intentions had been, the consequence was that he inflicted pain on the one that had trusted him and given him his heart, entirely open and honest.

The moment he saw Taehyung cry under the rain, his heart shattered into a thousand pieces. How had he been so blind to Taehyung’s needs? How could he have hurt the person he called his muse? His love?

He went through an ocean of emotions. Between worry, panic, regret, and guilt, only for all of it to fall and leave the place to desperate love. A love so passionate, so vivid and raw, the kind of love that pulls at every string of one’s heart, that breaks and heals at the same time. So violent, so intense that the touches of one’s lips burn. 

Taehyung’s lips against his did. 

And at that moment, the weather cried for them.

Cried alongside Taehyung, alongside Jeongguk who couldn’t contain his tears either after the violent wave crashed over him, and drowned him until their lips had found each other. Until he could breathe again.

Nonetheless, it is when they walked back into the apartment that all their worries, all their doubts disappeared as they got lost in each other. Jeongguk would be lying if he said he didn’t feel guilty for not reassuring Taehyung before, for not making him feel safe and loved in his arms, for not making love to him the way he deserved until today... all because of baseless fears.

And... god, it felt so good to finally let go, to finally love Taehyung entirely. To kiss every part of his body, to feel the warmth of his skin, of his body. To see the worry and fear in those eyes disappear to leave the place for love and happiness.

It felt so good that the reality doesn’t seem to sink in, yet.

Not when Jeongguk subtly leaves Taehyung’s arms as soon as he falls asleep and takes the opportunity to retrieve wet towels from the bathroom and gently wipe the mess all over their skin. 

Not when Jeongguk manages to take the sheets off, slowly, and replace them as to avoid any uncomfortable sticky feeling in the morning.

And not when Jeongguk climbs back on the bed and wraps Taehyung into a warm embrace, pulling him close, closer and closer against him.

“I love you so much,” Jeongguk whispers when he brushes the hair out of Taehyung’s forehead, even though the latter can’t hear him. His eyes stare, lovingly, tracing the path Taehyung’s moles create on his face before his lips come pressing soft kisses against them. His chest blooms with warmth, and he can’t help but bite down a smile at how good their first time felt. 

It felt like it was meant to be.

And although he knows that he can’t erase a past that is so heavy, and so violent, he wishes that the new memories that he creates with Taehyung would push those nightmares far, far away, until they wouldn’t dare come out ever again.

“I will never leave you,” he promises, a response to Taehyung’s earlier fear screamed under the pouring rain, sealing it with a kiss against Taehyung’s forehead. As long as you’ll have me, I’ll be by your side.

His eyes close while he relaxes in Taehyung’s arms, his nose buried into his hair, wishing that this moment could last forever. Because the simple thought of a future without the warmth of Taehyung’s body against his, easing him into a sleeping state, is inconceivable. 

Jeongguk doesn’t know exactly when he fell asleep, but when he wakes up, the morning sunlight peeks through the blinds and warms his naked body tangled with Taehyung’s. He has a hand over Taehyung’s thigh which happens to rest over his own waist, and he brings his fingers up to tug on the fresh sheets and cover Taehyung’s body. 

“You smell so good,” Jeongguk murmurs into Taehyung’s hair before he shifts just enough to press a kiss against Taehyung’s temple, too sleepy to realize that he is awake, too. “‘love you. So, so much,” he keeps whispering. And adds, still as drowsy, “‘can’t believe I’m Kim Taehyung’s boyfriend. Jeon Jeongguk, you lucky bastard.”

“Damn, I guess the sex was that good it broke you, baby,” Taehyung chuckles, moving to find Jeongguk’s wide eyes and red cheeks. “I am the lucky one, here. Jeon Jeongguk’s boyfriend, are you kidding me?” he brushes their noses together before he dives in for a bruising kiss. 

Jeongguk laughs against Taehyung’s lips, leaning in with the same intensity until he’s hovering over Taehyung’s body. When he parts, he draws his head back to stare at Taehyung’s face, his eyes trailing down to look at his exposed neck, and his collarbones, and he has to force his own brain to look up again and bite down a smile. At Taehyung’s curious look, Jeongguk asks, “How are you this ethereal? You look like a dream. This is unfair.” 

“And how are you this romantic when you just woke up?” Taehyung chuckles, a hand coming up to hold his face, a soft smile on his lips. “Good morning, by the way.” 

Jeongguk beams at that, leaning in for a short, soft kiss this time. “Good morning my love. How are you feeling?” he asks, a hand gently trailing down Taehyung’s side to caress his thigh. “Does it hurt?” Although he believes they’ve been careful, he’s still worried, scared that he’s been too hard on him.

“It doesn’t, but you’re sweet to worry,” Taehyung smiles and brushes their noses together again, moving closer if it were possible. “I—” he starts then, a finger trailing up and down Jeongguk’s bare chest, probably thinking about something. “I wanna say sorry again,” he looks up to find Jeongguk’s confused eyes, then. “I shouldn’t have overreacted like that, I—I know we should’ve talked rather than me making up conclusions on my own and I’m sorry for that. Sorry, I didn’t give you a chance to explain.” 

Jeongguk is quick to shake his head, a smile on his lips. “I should have been the first one to talk about my own fears, but I kept it all hidden and hurt you unknowingly. I guess this taught us a lesson,” he chuckles faintly, his hand coming up to run through Taehyung’s disheveled hair. “Also—did you perhaps,” he bites down on his lower lip, and tries guessing, “stopped by Namjoon’s office?” 

“I was meant to bring him the CCTV tapes when I heard you guys talking,” Taehyung admits then and oh. That explains it, then. “I heard you say that you wanted to quit and Namjoon hyung saying that he assumed you would and I thought it was because—well, you know what I thought,” his smile turns sad, then. Like he doesn’t want to word the demons in his head. 

Jeongguk sighs with a shake of his head, an apologetic look on his face when he tells, “I’m sorry. We were talking about something else. I never considered leaving you, even less at a time like this. It was just—” Jeongguk pauses. He stares into Taehyung’s eyes, searching for his own words there, although all he sees is love and the reason he reconnected with his passion. With art. “I was thinking about signing up for photography classes,” he admits in a barely audible whisper. 

“That’s—” Taehyung starts but can’t seem to find the words, which makes a knot appear in Jeongguk’s stomach. “That’s amazing, Guk,” he smiles then. “I think you definitely should do it,” he nods. 

“You—” Jeongguk starts, hesitation in his eyes, not quite sure if he should be relieved or scared that he misheard it somehow, “you think so? I mean—not right now, of course, there is still the case going on which will take a lot of time, and I’m not leaving any company before you do, and I’ll always be here to protect you, I’ll be there by your side at any times whether it’s my job or not, but I mean—”

“Baby,” Taehyung stops him, then, to prevent the words from incessantly tumbling down Jeongguk’s mouth so fast that they would end up not making any sense. “I would never ask you to give up on what you want to do or your dreams for mine. You should go for it, I mean it,” he nods. “Plus, you can keep working for me, I can model for you,” he smirks and pulls back enough to strike a pose that’s meant to be funny but Jeongguk feels an overwhelming surge of emotions that he doesn’t laugh. 

“You’re the reason I want to pick up photography again,” he admits with such honesty that he believes that if he speaks another word right now, he might actually break into tears. His fingers dig ever so slightly into Taehyung’s waist, while his eyes don’t leave Taehyung’s, still drowning in them. He takes another deep breath. “What I feel is just so intense, that if I don’t pour this love into art, I think my heart is going to explode for you.” 

Well, all artists do have a dramatic side, right? Jeongguk is no different. And he loves too much, too fast, and yet the fall is all but painful. It is intense, overwhelming, yes, but it’s a feeling that is beautiful. He wouldn’t trade it for anything else. Wouldn’t trade falling in love with Taehyung for anything else.

“I won’t let it explode,” Taehyung smiles, caressing his face so tenderly. “I love you and I believe in you. Whatever you dream of, you’ll achieve it, I have no doubt in my mind. You have so much to share and the world will be so fucking lucky to be given the chance to witness it, darling.”

Jeongguk presses his lips together as if to keep himself from crying, letting out a heavy sigh of relief. “I am the lucky one, here. Falling for you has to be the best thing that has ever happened to me,” he smiles, open and honest, and captures Taehyung’s lips into a gentle kiss.

“Are we going to get into another fight right now to see who’s luckier?” Taehyung chuckles against his lips. 

But Jeongguk only pouts at that. “Don’t say it so lightly, yesterday felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest,” he whines, shifting to hide his face into the crook of Taehyung’s neck. “I don’t want to see you hurting like that because of my own actions, ever again.”

“Noooooo, I’m sorry,” Taehyung hugs him, then, dropping a kiss on his head. “As long as we talk things out properly, I know you won’t. You know I overthink a lot, that’s on me,” he sighs as he runs his fingers through his hair soothingly.

“I’ll get better at it, too.” Jeongguk nuzzles at the skin, there, and explains his words, “Talking. I’ll get better at asking you whenever I have a doubt.” He presses his lips against Taehyung’s neck, breathing in his comforting and familiar scent. 

They’ll learn with each other, and over time. 

When he slightly shifts as to avoid putting all his weight onto Taehyung’s body, he shivers at the touch of Taehyung’s thigh between his legs. He has to swallow down the moan that threatened to spill from his lips, and softly squeezes Taehyung’s waist when he suggests, “We should take a shower, put on some clothes, or... something.” And when he lifts his head to meet Taehyung’s eyes, there is a faint rosy tint to his cheeks. “My body is sensitive in the morning,” he admits in a shameful whisper.

And Taehyung giggles like he knows what he means and leans in for a long, lazy, sweet kiss. 

“Let’s go shower,” he whispers against his lips, and his hand trails down his body right where Jeongguk needs it most. His smirk tells it all. 

The shower water turns cold but they are too ablaze to care. 

Chapter Text

“Let me hear it again.” Taehyung sighs and closes his eyes, gathering the little patience he’s got left. 

“I’ve said it like five times already, Jimin.” 

“Well, make it six, come on,” his best friend smiles as he sits on his bed. 

“That’s not why I asked you to come!” He whines, regretting every decision he’s ever made. 

“I know, but you can’t just come to my place literally crying yesterday and not have me ask about it today, that’s not how we work. You should know this,” Jimin points out, and he’s right. Again. And Taehyung sighs. 

“You were right,” he repeats, the pleased smile on his friend’s face growing. “I was overreacting.” 

“And now you got laid! Look at you!” He’s so annoying. Taehyung is considering cutting ties with him immediately. 

The blush rises to his cheeks when he says that because, truthfully, he didn’t even need to say anything for Jimin to know. 

You’re glowing, he said when he walked into Taehyung’s apartment. Taehyung didn’t even try to deny it, because he was. 

He felt like he was wrapped around a million little fairy lights, burning brighter than the sun himself thanks to Jeongguk. Now more than ever. 

And it wasn’t only because of what happened last night (and that same morning in the shower), but because he felt like they were finally being completely honest with each other. They had both been holding things back, they had both made the mistake of keeping their insecurities and their worries hidden not to worry the other person and it resulted in both of them being hurt without meaning to. But now, he felt like they were finally ready to move forward together, burying the ghosts of their past with the same shovel. 

“Are you gonna help me pick an outfit for tonight or not?!” Taehyung snaps, then. It seems impossibly funny to Jimin by the way he falls back on his bed and laughs. 

“Of course, I will. What’s the theme? Boyfriend look? Sweet and cute? Artsy? Hot and sexy? Borderline slutty?”

“I think it’s concerning that you think I own borderline slutty clothes, Jimin.”

“Oh, I know you do. I bought them for you once. Plus, it doesn’t need to look borderline slutty per se. You just have to make it work. And I know you can, babe, I’ve seen you out.” 

The thought of pulling up to the date Jeongguk asked him to go with today in an outfit like that makes him have to bite his lip not to smile. He would love to do that just to see the reaction in the younger’s eyes. Taehyung fears they wouldn’t make it past the parking lot, though. 

“He hasn’t told me where he’s taking me yet, so I guess I’m not sure what the theme is. But this isn’t the Met Gala, I can wear whatever, right?” Jimin sits up then to glare at him as if he just said the most offensive thing in the world. Maybe he did. 

“Oh, babe. You’re so wrong.” 

— ♤ —

Jeongguk is nervous.

And perhaps he shouldn’t be, considering what they’ve done yesterday, but still. This is the first time they’re going on a proper date. Not an excuse to buy someone else a gift, not an excuse to see somebody else, no. It’s just the two of them this time, and no one else. 

Jeongguk thought about a multitude of options. Pricier, but he doesn’t exactly have that much remaining in his bank account after buying Taehyung the ring. A date at a museum? Joining a pottery class? Hiking up? Or a day at an amusement park? Jeongguk had to think, think and think for the sole reason that he feared that he’d bore Taehyung for their very first date. Although he knows that Taehyung would love anything as long as they get to spend some time together. Preferably, out of the public’s sight.

Nervousness keeps making him jittery as he waits in front of Taehyung’s apartment, holding in one hand a bouquet of white flowers that bring the attention to the very few deep red ones arranged amongst them; Carolina Allspice, Taehyung’s birth flower. He isn’t sure that the latter will recognize it, supposes that he himself is a bit too much of a romantic, but he hopes that the gift will put a smile on that angelic face.

He glances one last time at his outfit; a white t-shirt tucked under oversized black jeans, completing the look with his usual high boots. Wonders if he should have chosen another top when he sees that it tightens a bit too much around his chest, and leaves almost nothing to the imagination, but he believes that Taehyung will appreciate it; he has made it quite clear that Jeongguk’s body doesn’t leave him indifferent. Jeongguk could say the same about Taehyung’s.

With an excited smile, Jeongguk rings the doorbell, takes a deep breath to calm his heart down, and waits. And—

well, his attempts at calming his heart were quite ineffective, because he feels it jump and explode into his eardrums the moment Taehyung opens the door.

He’s standing right there, wearing a black floral-print shirt that seems so thin that Jeongguk thinks he can see his skin under it matched with a pair of skinny jeans. Jeongguk is pretty sure Taehyung never wears skinny jeans and he’s sure why. 

The world wouldn’t survive it. 

He surely is having trouble doing it. 

“You’re early!” He smiles, eyes sparkling when they meet Jeongguk’s. “I’m almost ready, come in,” and he pulls from him so that the door can close after him. 

“You're—” Jeongguk begins to say, but his brain is having a hard time registering the sight before him. His lips part, his eyes still going up and down on Taehyung's body slowly as if he needs to take the time to appreciate. “You're gorgeous,” he ends up breathing out, even forgetting about the bouquet in his own hand as he reaches for Taehyung's hand to pull him closer before he could go get ready, and capture his lips into a languid kiss. “God, I should have stepped up my game, too. I definitely can’t compete with you,” he tells, and he can’t help but bite his lower lip while his eyes trail down again.

“What do you mean to compete?” Taehyung chuckles against his lips, one arm around his neck. “Babe, you look great,” and he accentuates it with a quick kiss. And it’s then that he seems to notice what else Jeongguk is holding. “What do you have there?” 

Jeongguk blinks at the question that snaps him out of his thoughts. “A gift for my sweet cub,” he tells with a smile, offering Taehyung the bouquet. “It’s our first date, after all.” Taehyung’s eyes open wide at the sight of the flowers, then and a grin grows taking over and lighting up his entire face. 

“But I’m already in love with you! What else do you want from me?” Taehyung chuckles and starts dropping kisses all across his face, taking the time to smell the flowers, a smile still on his lips. “They’re beautiful, Guk, thank you. And are these—” he says, noticing the red flowers among the rest of them. 

Jeongguk smiles, steals yet another kiss, and hums. “Your birth flower,” he confirms shyly. It was quite tedious to find them as any ordinary flower shop rarely sells those, but it is nothing compared to what he’s capable of doing for love. “You stand out like this, too, in a crowd full of ordinary people. Beautiful, unique,” he begins to say, a hand reaching to gently squeeze Taehyung’s waist when he murmurs, “dangerous.” Taehyung smirks, then, humming close enough to breathe in Jeongguk’s cologne. 

“Dangerous, huh? Shouldn’t you be running away from me, then?” He asks almost in a whisper, leaning in ever-so-slightly so that their lips brush. 

Jeongguk lets out an amused breath. “I admit that danger excites me,” he whispers back before his tongue drags along Taehyung’s lips, a silent request for them to part so that he leans into a slow kiss. 

“That explains a lot, actually,” Taehyung smirks on his lips. “The tattoos, the motorbike, the becoming the bodyguard of a bratty idol…” 

That is a way to put things. And it makes Jeongguk laugh, amused. “Come on, love, go get ready before I get my hands all over you,” he tells because he knows that if they don’t part, they’re going to stay in each other’s arms for quite a long time. Not that either of them would mind—but a first date shouldn’t be missed. Taehyung tsks his tongue and hands him back the flowers. 

“You know I wouldn’t mind that, but you’re right,” he sighs. “Put these in a vase with water for me, yeah?” And he kisses his cheek before he rushes back through the hallway and disappears into the bathroom. 

Jeongguk does as told and arranges the bouquet into a vase he finds in the living room as he smiles to himself, thinking about the day they’re about to spend together. When he finds himself replaying the sight of Taehyung’s shirt inside his mind, he closes his eyes, slaps his own cheeks a couple of times, and shakes his head with a deep intake of breath. “Calm down, Jeon Jeongguk,” he whispers to himself.

“Alright, I’m all done now!” Taehyung announces, walking back into the living room. He’s got his makeup done now, and he looks even better. How unfair. 

“Let’s go, pretty.” Jeongguk leans in for another kiss before they walk out of the apartment, toward the parking outside. As they get closer, he can’t help but glance at Taehyung to get his reaction, nervously biting down on his lower lip, because—well, there’s no car except Taehyung’s.

No other vehicle.

Except for a motorbike.

“You’re kidding me,” Taehyung gasps, wide-eyed. “All this hard work and you want to kill me now?” 

Jeongguk laughs at that, reaching for one of the two helmets he left there. “It’s not far, don’t worry. Would you like to ride with me, Kim Taehyung?” and of course, he has to say it in a way that makes it seem like he’s asking for Taehyung’s hand. A playful smile plays on his lips when he reassures, “I’m a good rider, I promise,” and adds a knowing wink to that.

“Is this a trick for me to let you teach my brother how to do it? Because I’m still against it,” Taehyung chuckles, taking the helmet and putting it on. “I’m trusting you with my life right now.”

With an amused breath, Jeongguk adjusts the helmet properly before putting his on, too, and gets on the bike, guiding Taehyung to do the same behind him. “And you know my job is and will always be to protect you, right?” Whether I’m a bodyguard, a boyfriend, or... more. He smiles to himself now that Taehyung can’t see him, reaching behind to find Taehyung’s hands. “Hold on to me, cub.” 

And that’s exactly what Taehyung does. 

Jeongguk drives them off and takes a new route towards the Han River, the cool breeze welcomed around them. Just like he said, the destination isn’t far from Taehyung’s apartment, and it only takes them a few minutes to get there—though, for a moment, Jeongguk wonders if it is still too far considering how tight Taehyung’s arms are around him. It’s cute. 

It is only after they’ve arrived at the highest spot that Jeongguk parks the motorbike. And the view that unravels before them is beautiful. 

From where they’re standing, higher up in the outskirts of Seoul, they’re able to see the city as if it has been painted for them while being surrounded by colorful fields. A location that has been chosen by an artist, for an artist. The park doesn’t seem to have a lot of visitors, which is perfect for them. Masks and sunglasses can be dropped, while embraces and kisses can be shared. 

“Still alive?” Jeongguk laughs once he takes off his helmet, and helps Taehyung with his. “I’m a good rider, right?”

“You are,” Taehyung chuckles, letting him remove the helmet and running his fingers through Jeongguk’s hair after. “Still feared for my life a little, though,” he admits with a chuckle. “This is gorgeous, though.” 

That steals a smile from Jeongguk who leans in for a soft kiss. “I thought it was a good idea to come to a place where we didn’t need to hide,” he explains when their eyes meet before he shifts to take the bag he’d left on the motorbike and slide the handle over his shoulder. “I also thought that it’d be good if...” he begins to say as he retrieves a camera from the bag, and holds it with a beam, “I keep the memories of today framed for eternity.” There’s something in Taehyung’s eyes when they meet his, then. Something that Jeongguk doesn’t really get the time to decipher before Taehyung is leaning in and kissing his lips again, sweetly. 

“That is perfect, thank you,” he whispers against his lips, smiling. “I can’t wait to update my Instagram with some boyfriend pics taken by my boyfriend.” 

“That will make your fans go crazy,” Jeongguk chuckles before he reaches to hold Taehyung’s hand.

“The only one I want to go crazy here is you,” Taehyung winks at him and starts walking. 

Little does he know, Jeongguk already is crazy. For him. 

— ✧ —

Taehyung didn’t know what to expect when Jeongguk suggested they go out on a date. Mostly because as a public figure, there aren’t many places where he can go without being recognized, without being taken pictures of, and without feeling like someone is watching him. And, considering what they want to do, that’s the last thing Taehyung needs. 

He also did not expect Jeongguk to pull up with his motorcycle. That was quite a shock. Not only because Jeongguk looked insanely hot on it but because Taehyung is kind of terrified of them. When he was little, one of the kids in his neighborhood got a small motorbike for Christmas and he invited everyone to ride with him. Taehyung wasn’t really friends with anyone back then, always had been kind of a lone wolf, but his parents were down at their store and his siblings weren’t born yet so his mother told him to go since she knew the kid’s parents. 

They had a small accident and Taehyung still has a scar from it. 

Good thing Jeongguk seemed to be much a better rider than that kid, and good thing Taehyung actually held on to him this time. 

The place he brought them to was also gorgeous, and so out of reach from the city that it was empty, which meant that they didn’t need to hide, that they didn’t need to be on their toes, and Taehyung felt normal for once. 

Jeongguk came so prepared, too. He brought a bag filled with homemade food, and a blanket so they could sit on the ground and have a small picnic while they watched the beautiful sight that is the city of Seoul under their feet as the sun slowly came down. 

It was hot as July afternoons tend to be, humid and gross, but Taehyung didn’t care. He didn’t care because Jeongguk was right there with him, and that’s all that mattered. 

“Have you given the photography course another thought?” Taehyung asks as Jeongguk adjusts some settings on his camera. 

He said he wanted to take pictures of the whole day so they can look back on it and remember it in the future. 

Taehyung is pretty sure he wouldn’t forget even if someone made him. 

“I want to,” Jeongguk begins to say as he shifts his sitting position to capture Taehyung from where he’s lying next to him, a smile on his lips when he catches him by surprise and checks to adjust another setting, “but I don’t want to join the program before any of... this ends.”

“It’s not like you’re doing much bodyguard-ing lately, though,” Taehyung admits. “It’s not like I am doing much idol-ing, either. Although I do have to go to the company in a few days to record my so-called new single,” he groans when he remembers. He still can’t cancel that until the whole process finishes either, because, technically, he’s still signed under the company. 

He wants all of this to be over soon as well so that he can go to Yoongi’s company and finally feel free and release the music that he wants to release. 

And so that Jeongguk can find his happiness and his dream, too.

“Perhaps, but...” Jeongguk bites his lower lip and meets Taehyung’s eyes. “I want to be here through it all. Not being able to see each other for days because of our own activities was already hard, how hard will it become if I sign up and lose a few hours of kissing my lovely boyfriend?” he finishes with an amused smile. Taehyung smiles at that and hums. 

“Well, your lovely boyfriend will be ready to kiss you as well even if you spend some hours following your dream, baby,” Taehyung speaks honestly, reaching over and caressing his cheek. “In fact, he will kiss you more.” And he leans over then to press a kiss on his lips and hears the shutter of the camera, making him jump until he notices that it’s just Jeongguk’s. “Wanted to keep that memory, too?” 

Jeongguk hums, pleased. “I want to keep it all so that we can look back on this day and smile at how crazy in love we’ve been since the very first day,” he giggles, leaning into another kiss before he draws himself back just enough to show the screen on the camera. “You want to see some of them?” 

“I’d love to,” Taehyung kisses his cheek before he sits back next to him, ready to be blown away by his boyfriend’s talent. 

Jeongguk starts going through the pictures, most of them taken perfectly as to have the background complement Taehyung’s silhouette, while others are blurrier, taken at the moment. From Taehyung’s boxy smile to his laugh to their hands and fingers intertwined... it looks like a personal collection of someone painting love through their own eyes.

“These are beautiful,” Taehyung smiles as Jeongguk keeps going through every single one. It’s when Jeongguk passes some of the first pictures of the day that one that has certainly not been taken today appears for a fraction of a second on the screen before it quickly turns back again. But Taehyung saw and recognized it.

A picture of himself standing on the stage behind the mic the day he won his very first music award. 

“Mh,” Jeongguk clears his throat sheepishly, “what do you think about today’s pictures?” 

“Was that—” Taehyung looks at him and sees the blush on his cheeks. “You were there?”

Jeongguk averts his eyes and nods shyly. “I mean—I had to be there,” his voice is almost too quiet when he admits it, “I knew you’d win. There was no way you wouldn’t win.”

“You know, I kinda thought you always said you’d been my fan just to get on my good side,” Taehyung chuckles, feeling extremely touched but trying not to show it too much. “And now you’re getting exclusives, huh?” And he leans in and kisses him again, putting the camera down carefully before he climbs on top of Jeongguk to kiss him better. 

“I wasn’t lying when I said I’m the luckiest man.” Jeongguk smiles against his lips before he parts his, bringing his hands to Taehyung’s waist. His fingers slightly press down as if to guide Taehyung into sitting on his lap before his thumbs start to caress Taehyung’s skin through his thin shirt. Taehyung hums on his lips appreciatively and gets his fingers in his hair. 

“We should eat before we get sued for public indecency or something,” Taehyung whispers against his lips before he kisses him again. What? It’s hard to stop. 

Jeongguk’s laugh gets muffled into the kiss before he parts with a hum, his hands unmoving and his eyes staring into Taehyung’s with a certain intensity in them. “You’re right.” He leans in just enough to nuzzle right under Taehyung’s ear, whispering as he presses a kiss there, “And we can go home right after.”

“I think that’s smart, yeah. It looks like it’s gonna rain or something,” Taehyung says before he dives in again as the stars start to appear in the sky the closer the sun gets to the line on the horizon. There’s not a single cloud above them. 

And that seems to make Jeongguk break into an amused smile. “We better be fast, then, and run away from here.”

— ♤ —

As expected, not a single drop falls over them when they arrive at Taehyung’s apartment. And Jeongguk has to thank himself that the place wasn’t that far, because he doesn’t think that he’d be able to wait any more minutes to capture Taehyung’s lips again.

Once they step into the apartment, and the door is closed shut behind them, Jeongguk immediately drops his bag, their shoes kicked somewhere into the hallway before he crashes his lips against Taehyung’s with such urgency that it seems like they haven’t spent a single night in each other’s arms for a year at the very least.

“You knew the effect those clothes would have on me when choosing them, didn’t you?” Jeongguk whispers against Taehyung’s lips, his hands making their way down Taehyung’s back. “I’ve been wanting this since you opened the door, when I picked you up.”

“Maybe,” Taehyung smirks, biting his lip back into his mouth, then. “I even called for back-up to find the perfect outfit so I’m glad it worked.” And he clashes their lips again, opening his mouth to kiss Jeongguk deeper.

“You’re a menace,” Jeongguk sighs into the kiss as he’s slowly guiding Taehyung back into his bedroom, fingers catching the part of Taehyung’s shirt that’s tucked under the pants to pull on it and sliding a hand under. “‘Can’t wait to get all of these off of you, though,” he smiles as he catches Taehyung’s lower lip between his teeth.

“We’re not even going to talk about my day?” Taehyung jokes as he removes Jeongguk’s T-shirt, throwing it somewhere on the floor and kissing him again. He pulls off enough to let his lips travel down his jaw, his neck, his pecs, and down until he’s kneeling on the floor in front of him, looking up at Jeongguk. “Or would you rather me use my mouth for something else, baby?” 

“Fuck,” Jeongguk curses loudly as his eyes meet Taehyung’s, reaching to run his fingers through his hair. He has to bite down on his tongue to keep himself from cursing a second time when he takes a good look at the sight in front of him, and—god, he’s weak for him. “Your knees are gonna burn like that, cub.” 

“Worth it,” he licks his lips and pulls back his trousers, then. “Damn, was I touching you too hard on your bike?” he smirks when he sees how affected Jeongguk already is. 

“You know the effect you have on me,” Jeongguk breathes out, “and your hands were busy trying to touch me rather than hold on to me.” Not that he minded any of it.

“Had to keep my head busy too,” Taehyung smirks and trails his hands up his thighs. “God, you really don’t skip leg day. Or any other day at the gym,” Taehyung points out and leans forward to lick his abs and pulls his underwear down with his teeth. 

The chuckle that threatened to slip from Jeongguk’s lips is quickly replaced by a sigh of relief when the cloth is off, and his length slaps wetly against his stomach. His hold around Taehyung’s curls slightly tighten, not yet pulling, but he wonders just how much he is capable of handling. From what he’s experiencing, not much—he feels like he’s about to burst at any minute now, with his veins pulsing and loud in his ears. “You’re so fucking hot like this,” he breathes out heavily.

“You can be a bit rough if you want,” Taehyung says, taking his hand to Jeongguk’s so he can tighten it around his hair tighter. “Just remember I need to sing in a few days,” and the smirk on his lips gets erased when he parts them to get Jeongguk’s cock in his mouth without a warning. 

“F—” The curse gets cut off by a moan slipping from Jeongguk’s lips the very moment he feels the warmth and wetness around him, his thighs tensing immediately as he tries to keep himself from bucking his hips up. And although Taehyung gave him permission to be rougher, he doesn’t want to risk hurting him. “Go easy on me,” he tells almost in a chuckle, his abdomen spasming, “or I’ll come right away.” Taehyung hums around him, sending shivers all over his body, and pulls off enough to say:

“And here I thought you’d be able to come twice,” he pouts before he licks a stripe across the side of it before he sinks down again, bobbing his head with ease. As if he wanted Jeongguk to come right away, down his throat. 

And, god, Taehyung must know that Jeongguk can never turn down a challenge, although—is it really one when he has such a high stamina and sex drive? “Fuck, baby—” he keeps cursing as he feels Taehyung’s tongue dragging along those veins as he goes down and up again at a fast pace, and Jeongguk has to take a deep breath to control his own, quivering thighs. This time, his fingers tighten harder around Taehyung’s locks, slightly pulling when he lets out, almost out of breath and desperate for a release, “Off, cub, or I’ll come inside your mouth.” But Taehyung only holds on tighter to his thighs, letting all of Jeongguk’s cock into his mouth until his nose is pressed against Jeongguk’s abdomen and hums, squeezing his tight as if to give him permission to do just that. 

And it is enough to tip Jeongguk over the edge, a loud moan breaking past his lips while he quickly reaches to grab Taehyung’s hair with his free hand, too, and comes down his throat. His body shakes through his orgasm, his thighs still quivering when he pulls on Taehyung’s hair to get him off of him, feeling so oversensitive that he might very well lose balance at any moment. “Your mouth—” is all he can breathe out, heavily, ragged, while his eyes meet Taehyung’s, and—fuck, he might come right away again. Taehyung licks his lips as he stands up and holds his face again, still fully clothed while Jeongguk is fully naked in front of him.

“You taste so good,” his voice is a bit raspy now and Jeongguk thinks he’s close to passing out. “Here, try it,” and he licks into his mouth, then. 

“You’re gonna be the end of me, cub,” Jeongguk groans into Taehyung’s mouth, tasting himself on the tongue he eagerly sucks on while his hands immediately run up to grab Taehyung’s asscheeks through his jeans. He can’t help the light roll of his hips into Taehyung’s bulge, definitely not spent after this. It seems that he’s even recuperating pretty well from how his cock seems to twitch against Taehyung’s clothed one. “You looked so good on your knees.”

“Next time, I’ll even let you take a picture.” And he dives in for another kiss, walking backward until they make it to Taehyung’s bedroom. 

“Take this off,” Jeongguk breathes out against Taehyung’s lips as he tries to unbutton the shirt before they hit the bed. “I wanna see you, too.” He breaks the kiss when he runs his lips along Taehyung’s jaw and finally opens his shirt. Taehyung takes the shirt off fully and pushes Jeongguk to bed and climbs over him and kisses him again. He’s all passion and heat as his hands travel up and down Jeongguk’s body. 

“You’re so—” Taehyung grunts, not finishing the sentence and sucking at his neck instead. “This okay?” he whispers against his skin there before he nibbles at it. And Jeongguk is quick to nod eagerly.

“Yeah,” Jeongguk responds, his chest heaving while his cock seems to answer pretty easily, too. “Didn’t know you liked taking control like that,” his hand runs through Taehyung’s hair, slightly pulling to prompt him to meet his eyes, “that’s so hot.”

“I—” he finds his eyes, then. “I never have,” he admits, and suddenly, Jeongguk notices he seems a bit nervous. “I want to, though. Try, at least.” 

Gently, Jeongguk brings his hands to Taehyung’s cheeks to cup his face with a smile. “I’ll guide you if you need. You’re already doing a great job at making me hard again,” he laughs. “You can’t know what feels good if you don’t try it.”

“Would you really be okay with it?” Taehyung asks again, straddling his hips, still wearing his skinny jeans that look a little bit too skinny right now. 

Jeongguk rolls his hips up into Taehyung’s clothed bulge in response and drags his tongue over his lip. “I am sure, cub. Make me feel good,” he tells almost in a whisper, his hands trailing down.

“Fuck , okay, but let me know if—” but Jeongguk sits up enough to capture his lips then and stop his words from spilling and his brain from overthinking. He zips down his pants although he struggles a bit and swallows Taehyung’s moan when he brushes over his cock. “Wait, I’ll do it,” he says and stands up to get naked properly before he joins him again in bed, all beautiful tan and smooth skin. 

And Jeongguk can’t help but admire, his eyes trailing down with a burning desire flashing in them. “You’re gorgeous,” he breathes out, looking up to meet Taehyung’s gaze again and, as to help him get into the right mood, Jeongguk spreads his legs to give a full view. “Come on, touch me.”

“Can I—” and he gets in between Jeongguk’s legs, then. “Eat you out?” 

Jeongguk curses under his breath, his cock twitching at those words. “Yeah,” he manages to breathe out, his heart pacing so fast that he feels it jumps out. God. He’s not going to survive.

“Okay, but first,” and he hovers again over him and kisses him before he reaches for his bedside table for some lube and condoms as well. “Good thing I bought these,” he chuckles before he goes back down, leaving a trail of kisses across Jeongguk’s skin, painted red from arousal. “Tell me if it’s too much, yeah?” he asks before he licks from his hole up to his balls first, hands on his cheeks to keep him spread open. 

“I will,” Jeongguk manages to say between two choked breaths. He has to close his eyes for a moment, a strong shudder running through his body at the new sensation before he opens them to look at Taehyung, and—fuck, he looks way too hot. Jeongguk reaches for the sheets under him, biting down on his lip. If this is a first for Taehyung, it is also a first for Jeongguk—he’s so used to giving, always so eager to dive in, that he never even considered that someone could go down on him. 

He feels Taehyung’s tongue pressure in slowly before it breaks through the ring of muscle there as Taehyung reaches for the lube and coats his fingers with it as well as he keeps pushing in and out slowly. 

“How does it feel, baby?” Taehyung asks when he pulls out to tease one of his fingers in, leaving open-mouthed kisses across his cheeks and thighs. 

Jeongguk’s thighs quiver at the touch, and he has to swallow a moan to sigh, in pleasure, “So good. You’re so good, and your tongue feels so good inside me.”

“Wait till you feel all of me, my love.” And, as he pushes in another digit, Taehyung pokes in his tongue as well. 

A moan breaks past Jeongguk’s lips, a hand immediately reaching to run his fingers through Taehyung’s hair while the other tightens the sheets under him. It’s definitely a new feeling, one that makes his abdomen tense, warmth coiling up in there. He can’t help but start rolling his hips to feel Taehyung deeper. “Fuck—are you—” he takes a deep, shaky breath before trying again, “are you sure this is your first time?” And the chuckle that threatens to slip is quickly caught in his throat, a whimper escaping instead. 

“What can I say? I’m a natural,” Taehyung chuckles and bites his thigh as he adds another finger. “You think you’re ready for me yet, darling?” 

This time, a laugh makes Jeongguk’s chest spasm, his fingers tightening around Taehyung’s locks. When he meets Taehyung’s gaze, he smiles with his mouth parted, still breathing in heavily. “It’s my first time, though,” he begins to say, his hips bucking up when Taehyung curls his fingers inside him, a moan escaping him, “I’m not sure it’ll fit.”

“I’ll make it fit,” Taehyung smiles and gets his fingers off him and climbs back up to his lips, and circles his hips to brush their hard-ons together. “Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle,” he whispers against his lips as he reaches for the condom. “And maybe if you’re good, I’ll let you come again,” he smirks like he’s enjoying this role and Jeongguk is on fire. “So be good for me, yeah, baby?” 

Jeongguk nods eagerly, dragging his tongue over Taehyung’s lips. “I’ll be a good boy for you. So please,” he stares into Taehyung’s eyes when he whispers, as he rolls his hips up, “fuck me, now.”

And Taehyung nods and kisses him again so passionately Jeongguk gets dizzy. He’s so focused on how good the kiss is that he misses the moment Taehyung rolls the condom on but definitely feels how he brushes his tip against his hole. 

When he parts for just a second, out of breath, Jeongguk murmurs against Taehyung’s already red and swollen lips, as if to provoke him just a little, “Go ahead, I don’t break that easily,” he smiles. 

Who’s the brat, now? 

“Hm, is that right?” Taehyung says, and pushes in slowly, carefully. And he gasps at the feeling, head falling on Jeongguk’s shoulder as he keeps pushing. “Fuck, it’s so—tight.”

Jeongguk’s fingers immediately reach for Taehyung’s back, digging into the skin as he arches his back ever so slightly as he moans into Taehyung’s ear before a short, breathless laugh makes his chest spasm. “You’re the first,” he manages to tell, although the last word gets caught in his throat, his eyebrows inched up as he tries to get his body into relaxing. “You feel—” Jeongguk tries to speak, but truly, he feels so out of breath that it’s becoming hard, “—so fucking good.”

“So do you,” he whispers against his lips as he reaches for his hands and pins them up against his head once he’s bottomed out. “Fuck, this feels—” he intertwines their fingers and rolls his hips tentatively and they moan at the same time. “God, baby.” 

Jeongguk wraps his legs around Taehyung’s waist, his eyes closing for a moment as he breathes out heavily. “I didn’t know—” he begins to say, throwing his head back into the cushion with a whimper when he feels the drag along his tight walls, unconsciously clenching even more around Taehyung, “—this could feel this good.” And it seems like Taehyung uses that opportunity to attack his neck again with his lips as he starts to thrust in and out, picking up the pace once he feels like Jeongguk can take it. 

“Let me hear you, baby. Let the whole city hear you,” he whispers against Jeongguk’s neck as he angles his hips trying to find—Oh. 

A high-pitched moan escapes Jeongguk’s throat, loud against Taehyung’s ear, and his back immediately arches while he tightens his fingers hard around Taehyung’s, almost pulling his wrists away completely. “F—Fuck,” Jeongguk babbles with shaky hips trying to urge Taehyung into hitting that spot again, the intense pleasure already making his mind go insane. And he must feel it even more intensely as it is the first time for him, and— yeah, he’s definitely not going to last. “Can I—” he tries, the words struggle to come out. “Can I come?” he asks again, although his voice is too quiet when he says it, while his moans only keep growing louder. 

“Yes, baby, come untouched,” Taehyung whispers and thrusts once more, hard and deep. 

Jeongguk’s eyes roll back when it hits him, his jaw dropping into a silent moan while his entire body jerks under Taehyung’s, his thighs quivering uncontrollably around Taehyung’s waist. It is so intense, so overwhelming, that this time, Jeongguk doesn’t think he can get hard any soon. Well, he doesn’t even think at all, his mind too far, while he whimpers through the aftershocks that still shake his body, clenching hard around Taehyung.

“That’s my good boy,” Taehyung finds his lips again and tries to keep fucking into him while he rides his orgasm out. 

“C—” Jeongguk closes his eyes, and his hips roll back into Taehyung, his own body moving on its own when he tries to speak again, “Come inside me, please.” 

“As you wish, baby,” he kisses him again and tries not to go too hard on Jeongguk since he’s sensitive. “Sh—Fuck,” and he buries himself deep inside Jeongguk and stops as he comes so hard he needs to bite Jeongguk’s shoulder to shut himself up. 

When the hold around his hands loosens, Jeongguk brings his fingers to Taehyung’s back, gently caressing his skin as he still tries to come down from his high, breathing loudly. It is only when oversensitivity starts to hurt a bit that Jeongguk lets out another whimper.

“Sorry, sorry, I’m—” And he feels him slowly pull out. “Sorry, baby, you did so well,” and he leaves kisses all across his chest. “Was it too much?” 

Jeongguk shakes his head, running his fingers up and into Taehyung’s hair again as a way to calm his own erratic brain. “‘So good,” he slurs with a breathless chuckle, “made me see stars. You’re so good. Fucked me so well.” He gently guides Taehyung up to capture his lips into a passionate kiss. “Did I feel good around you?”

“So good,” Taehyung nods and kisses him again. “I think I like it the other way around better, though, but I don’t mind switching every once in a while if you liked it, bun.” And he finds his hands again and links their fingers. “What a first date, huh?” 

It is probably no surprise for the both of them to be enjoying it more the other way, yet it doesn’t fail to make Jeongguk smile at how complementary they are. At how well they fit together. At how they’re made for each other. “Mh,” he hums, “I surely did not plan on losing my virginity for my first date,” he jokes. As if he had been a virgin until today.  

“Shut up,” Taehyung laughs and playfully slaps his chest. “Wait here, it’s my turn to take care of you now, baby,” he smiles and leaves a sweet kiss on his lips before he gets up from bed and leaves the room, removing the condom before he does.

When he gets back, it’s with some wipes and towels and he carefully cleans Jeongguk up, leaving kisses right after every place he cleans. 

“Thank you,” he says, then. Out of nowhere. “For the date and for… letting me do this.”

“I’m your boyfriend, you shouldn’t thank me for that,” Jeongguk smiles full of honesty, his hand reaching for the nape of Taehyung’s neck to guide him down and press a soft kiss against his lips. “Plus, you looked so hot on top of me,” he tells, thumb caressing Taehyung’s cheeks. “Maybe you could ride me, next time?”

“Deal,” Taehyung bites Jeongguk’s lower lip before he kisses him again. “I love you,” he whispers as he settles next to Jeongguk. “So much.”

And Jeongguk responds just as quietly, just as lovingly, with the eyes of a man that has fallen so deep in love, “I love you.”

— ✧ —

Taehyung gets woken up by the feeling of lips dragging across his skin, mapping every single one of his curves, every one of his moles, hands slowly caressing his body, and he smiles. Is this heaven? It might be. 

He considers pretending to be asleep for a few more minutes to allow Jeongguk to keep doing exactly what he’s doing, but he also wants to kiss him back, so instead, when Jeongguk’s lips find their way back up his neck and to his face, Taehyung turns his face to trap them in his, turns his entire body so that he’s over him. 

“Good morning to you too,” he smiles before he dives down for another kiss. 

The light seeps in through the blinds they forgot to draw the night before, the warmth of Summer has nothing to envy their own warmth right then. 

“My gorgeous, hot, sweet boyfriend,” Taehyung smiles, hands on Jeongguk’s face. The stars in his eyes shine brighter than any constellation he’s ever seen, and he thinks he could spend the rest of his days mapping them. 

“It seems like you stole the words right out of my mouth,” Jeongguk beams, the tip of his fingers trailing up and down Taehyung's naked back. “Good morning,” he finally says against Taehyung's lips, “it still feels like a dream to wake up in your arms.”

“It’s even better,” Taehyung smiles and goes to kiss his neck again, and it’s only then that he notices that he kind of went a bit crazy last night on his skin. “Oh, shit,” he pulls back enough to admire the canvas that is Jeongguk’s body covered in love bites from him. 

“What?” Jeongguk asks with wide, curious eyes, definitely not aware of it, as his attention has been solely on Taehyung ever since they stepped into the apartment.

“I—I kinda gave you a few hickeys last night,” he admits flushed cheeks and shying away from Jeongguk’s gaze. The worst one is on his neck where he remembers biting down as he came inside him. 

“Really?” is all Jeongguk says at first, one hand coming to his own neck by following Taehyung’s eyes. His surprised look turns into a smug one, and he asks rhetorically with a satisfied smile, “‘Marked me yours all over my body, hun? That’s really hot.”

“Shut up,” he says, biting his lip and trying to get his eyes to not focus on them for too long, or else they won’t leave this bed at all today. “You are mine, though.” 

“I am,” Jeongguk agrees with an amused smile, lifting himself just enough to capture Taehyung’s lips into a slow kiss. “We should take a shower.” His hand trails down Taehyung’s back, definitely not doing what he suggests. “Or else we’ll spend the whole morning here.”

“I mean…” Taehyung moves a little bit back so that he’s sitting on him. “It’s a Sunday, right? Nowhere else to go but here.” He bends down and kisses him again, then. 

It’s safe to say that they take the lazy Sunday in bed to a whole different level that day. 

Chapter Text

The start of another week means going back to the routine Taehyung has been trying so hard to get away from. He’s been trying to stop time, as if that could be done. But it kept slipping through his fingers as he and Jeongguk spent all Sunday afternoon home together. 

“Are you sure I have to go?” he asked Jeongguk when they woke up, knowing full well he would not make him go, but he had to. 

Today he was supposed to record his new song, his new single and maybe a few more songs that his company found for him since the ones he poured his blood, sweat and tears into were apparently a waste of their time. 

He knew that it all would be over soon, but Namjoon advised him to act as if nothing was wrong so that they wouldn’t suspect what they were doing and would try to counter it in any way, and so, that meant Taehyung had to follow orders and record some songs he wasn’t even sure were ever going to see the light of day. 

Or, in true fashion, his company would probably release them anyway to still gain money off him. But he won’t care as long as he’s gone, as soon as they’re off his back. 

“Come here,” he tells Jeongguk as they’re getting ready in the morning, a bottle of foundation in his hand. Most of the love bites across his skin are hidden by his clothes, but there are a few on his neck that are visible. “I’m an expert in covering these up,” he pours a bit on his fingers to start to spread them across his neck and doesn’t realize how sad that sounds until he looks up and finds Jeongguk’s eyes. “It’s okay,” he smiles softly, kissing him quickly so that he doesn’t worry and continues trying to smoothen his skin under his fingers. Thank God he had a bit of lighter foundation that matches Jeongguk’s skin better or else it would’ve been useless. 

“Love,” Jeongguk calls as he searches for Taehyung’s eyes again, letting him apply the product, before his hand reaches to squeeze Taehyung’s waist. “I know that nothing can erase the past, but they’re going to pay for it. Namjoon isn’t going to let them away with a simple sentence,” those words are whispered. Jeongguk wraps his fingers around Taehyung’s wrist, and when their eyes meet again, Taehyung sees just how much Jeongguk still worries that those memories might come back haunting and hurting him.

“I know,” he smiles and brings his hand to his lips and kisses Jeongguk’s wrist. “I’m okay, I promise.” And he smiles like he means it, because he does. Sure, ghost and monsters still will creep from under his bed every now and then, but they’re easier to face when he remembers that there’s someone that loves him for who he is, inside and out. “Alright, I think you’re done.” And he turns Jeongguk around so that he can see his reflection in the mirror. “Next time I’ll be more careful, I promise,” he goes on his tiptoes to kiss his cheek. 

A smile pulls the corners of Jeongguk’s lips up as he tilts his head to look at the now covered marks. “If we aren’t going anywhere near that company... I wouldn’t mind showing them off, you know,” he says playfully, looking up to meet Taehyung’s eyes and pull him into a kiss. “Showing off that I’m yours.”

“I’m sure the entire world would be thrilled to know that,” he chuckles. “Come on, I had the recording scheduled at 11 and I don’t want them to tell me off because we’re late,” he sighs, knowing his actions and words are conflicting with themselves as he moves slowly. 

Jeongguk hums at that. He sits up and wraps Taehyung into a tight and warm embrace without speaking a word, a way for him to probably reassure Taehyung that he’ll never leave his side. That everything is going to go well, eventually.

When they part, Jeongguk offers a smile, and presses his lips against Taehyung’s forehead. “Let’s go.”

— ♤ —

It’s been a while since Jeongguk has been to the company—well, the last time being the day Taehyung’s album has been refused—and he hasn’t missed it. Hasn’t missed, either, the way Taehyung’s eyes would dart nervously as soon as they arrive; it never fails to tighten Jeongguk’s chest with worry.

These last few days spent in each other’s arms had almost made him forget that Taehyung still has to go by his official schedule. The one schedule he has no say in—even though this will very soon change. 

Before they’d open the car doors, Jeongguk reaches to grab Taehyung’s hand. Whispering a small, “Hey,” to get his full attention. “Try not to dwell on it too much, alright?” Easy to say for him. Although, it comes from a good intention. Jeongguk looks around quickly, as if to check that nobody is looking towards their car when he presses his lips against the back of Taehyung’s hand. “I could have asked you this before, but—” he laughs a little, “would you like to meet my mom, tonight? She owns a restaurant. Nothing fancy,” he’s quick to add, though his smile is warm and proud, “but we could have dinner there.”

“Oh,” Taehyung’s eyes open wide, then. “Are you sure? Does she know about me at all?” he asks a bit nervous. And Jeongguk can’t help the timid smile that makes its way across his face.

“She does,” he nods. It isn’t that he told her everything, especially since they’ve rarely been talking lately because of his busy schedule, but somehow she knew right away that this certain Kim Taehyung wasn’t just her son’s boss. “She’d love to meet you.”

“Then I would be honored to meet her, too,” he smiles with a shy nod. “I—I can’t believe once we get out of the car I’m not gonna be able to hold your hand all day. Especially when I need it the most,” he sighs and looks past the window. “Should we just go?” he asks like he knows he can’t.

With a small smile, Jeongguk reaches to cup Taehyung’s face and capture his lips into a soft kiss. When he draws his head back a little, he meets Taehyung’s eyes, and whispers gently, “Come on, it’s going to be over in a few hours. I won’t leave your side, alright?”

“Fine,” he sighs. “At least I have something nice to look forward to later to get me through it,” he smiles before he gets the door open and steps outside. The heat of July is already unbearable. Even more so when one has to wear a dark suit.

Once they step inside the building, reality seems to quickly shatter the safe bubble that both of them have been creating. Jeongguk also takes notice of how heavy the atmosphere is as they walk deeper into the corridors. Some looks, either glaring or mocking, are directed at them, and it is something that Jeongguk has strangely enough missed when he first got hired. He had not realized just how terribly heavy the air is inside the company, and he can’t help but take a deep breath to calm his furious self. 

Just how much has Taehyung endured, all these years? 

They head up in the elevator to the fourth floor where the recording studio Taehyung is supposed to go to is located, and as they go up, he can feel the anxiety rise in the way Taehyung keeps fidgeting. And he wishes he could reach out and comfort him, but there are cameras everywhere and he knows they need to be careful. Namjoon warned them as much, because anything could be used against them when the time comes, and Jeongguk doesn’t want to be the reason something goes off. 

“There you are, you are late, as usual,” the producer tells Taehyung when they get there and Jeongguk’s blood boils. 

“You should get started and get over with it quickly, then,” and not waste time with petty comments. The rest of Jeongguk’s sentence dies on his tongue, his gaze annoyed when he meets the producer’s. 

“Anywhere you need to be, Jeon?” he asks him, just as defiantly. 

“PD-nim, let’s head inside,” Taehyung says, then, opening the door. “I have memorized the melody but I’m having a few issues with the English lyrics, so we might need to drill a bit on those,” he switches the topic. 

“Aish, Taehyung, you need to improve your English if we ’re going to make it internationally!” Taehyung just smiles fakely at that and they head inside the studio. “You can wait outside,” he tells Jeongguk. 

“No, he’s coming,” Taehyung tells him like there’s no room for debate. There isn’t. So Jeongguk steps into the studio, coming almost face to face with the producer as the latter seemed persistent on preventing Jeongguk from going any further—but it is no use.

“Does my presence distract you from doing your work?” Jeongguk asks the man as he closes the door behind him. “I thought that professionals like you can work in any situation,” he mocks, almost provoking, although there isn’t a smile on his lips. “Come on, you can start. I won’t be a bother.” That is, if everything goes smoothly. 

Jeongguk isn’t so sure that he won’t speak a word during the process if any more petty comments are thrown at Taehyung. He walks up to sit on one of the sofas inside the studio and watches like a fly on the wall as Taehyung goes through the lyrics and the melodies with the producer and another guy that’s there, probably another producer or maybe even the composer, since none of the work for this one was done by Taehyung himself. 

“Okay, I’m ready, I think,” Taehyung nods and heads inside the booth, putting the headphones on and warming up his voice. It’s always such a mesmerizing process to see, and Jeongguk almost misses having his camera with him to film it. 

“Let’s see how long this takes,” one of the two guys says before they give Taehyung a thumbs up and he gives it back. He must be so used to this already. 

The song starts playing in the speakers as well as in Taehyung’s headphones and, although Jeongguk has never heard it before because Taehyung hasn’t played it for him, it sounds like every other song on the radio right now, so it’s almost as if he had. 

He can’t help but notice how nervous Taehyung looks behind the glass. He’s messed up a few times already and Jeongguk wishes there was something he could do to ease him, but with a crowd, it’s impossible. 

“Come on, it’s not rocket science, Taehyung-ah,” the producer stops the song after he gets the lyrics wrong again. 

“I’m sorry, I got it, promise,” Taehyung says back, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. 

Before he starts over again, Jeongguk stands up from his seat, and comes closer to press on the button as to be heard inside the booth, ignoring the annoyed ‘what are you doing?’ one of the producers. “Taehyung,” he calls to meet Taehyung’s eyes. And when he does, he waves his fingers in front of him in a way that the men don’t catch what he’s trying to subtly hit on—the ring Taehyung has been wearing. The one Jeongguk offered him. It might not be an immense help, but Jeongguk supposes that looking at it, touching it, might still help Taehyung to keep himself grounded, to remind himself that this is the last work he’s forced to record. 

That this is the last step he’s taking, before he’s free from this company.

“Right,” Taehyung smiles, then, and his eyes say so much although his lips can’t speak the words. “Okay, I’m ready,” he nods and Jeongguk sees how he takes a deep breath as he turns the ring on his finger. 

“Let’s see it, then,” the guy nods and plays the song again. 

This time, he sings it perfectly.

“Alright, great!” The producer says. “You can take a five, I’m gonna go get the lyrics for the English version.” And the man stands up and leaves the room. The other guy, who hasn’t said a word, also leaves with him and Taehyung sighs inside the booth, putting the headphones down and heads out as well. 

“How bad was that?” He asks with a slight chuckle.  

“You managed to turn a boring song into an incredible one with your beautiful voice,” Jeongguk smiles, desperately wanting to reach for Taehyung’s face and kiss his lips. “Don’t let them get to you, alright? This is going to be over soon. Just keep looking at me, for the next songs.”

“I’ll fuck the lyrics even more if I do, you’re too pretty, darling,” Taehyung whispers. “God, I wanna hug you so bad, this is so unfair,” he sighs. Jeongguk smiles because he’s just so cute, and, well, he wishes he could wrap Taehyung in an embrace, too. “Did you call your mom to let her know we’re going later? I hope it doesn’t take too long here, I wouldn’t want to be late to my first meeting with her.” 

“Don’t worry, she’s expecting us anyway,” Jeongguk nods, warmth blooming in his chest at the thought that Taehyung would meet her for the first time today. “Let’s get this done, and then head there, alright?”

“I can’t wait. Plus, I’m already starving,” he chuckles, and Jeongguk beams at that. 

“That’s good, because my mom tends to cook, well, a little too much.”

The producer comes back alone this time with a piece of paper that he hands Taehyung without even glaring at him. 

“Let’s get this over with soon, the boss wants to hear it before he leaves today,” he tells Taehyung and Jeongguk hears the deep breath he takes next to him. 

“Alright, I’m ready.” 

And in he goes again. 

— ✧ —

Taehyung’s throat feels on fire as Jeongguk drives them to his mother’s restaurant, and he can’t help but be overly nervous. 

It’s true that, now that they’re in the car, Taehyung is finally able to hold Jeongguk’s hand and that’s helping him a little bit, but he’s still feeling like he’s going to throw up anytime. 

The recording was exhausting because it was so clear that the song was not made for him. It was too high for his vocal range and, although he did reach the notes, it stranded his throat in a way that he hates. After years of vocal practice and he still has a hard time with this. 

He’s been quiet ever since they got into the car, mostly wanting to make sure he doesn’t lose his voice before he meets Jeongguk’s mother, but also because he’s deep in thought. 

That might’ve been the last time he recorded a song for his company, and although he knows he should be happy, a part of him feels weird to be celebrating it, since he spent so much of his life between those walls. 

Of course, he is ready to leave, especially after everything wrong they’ve done to him, but still, it’s a big part of his life. 

And it’s almost as if Jeongguk can feel it, because his thumb brushes against the back of his hand before he speaks.

“Nervous?” a rhetorical question, as he adds, “It’s normal to be having all of those emotions grinding inside. This might be the last time you stepped inside that building. To not feel anything would be strange,” he laughs, and lets go of Taehyung’s hand to turn around the corner and enter a small, and quiet neighborhood. The houses they’re passing in front of are quite old, and one or two even looks quite decrepit—either it is abandoned, or the family doesn’t quite have the money for a renovation yet. All in all, it seems that the only residents they cross paths with are mostly elderlies. 

They finally arrive at their destination when Jeongguk parks in front of an old two-story traditional building. And it almost feels unfitting for them to park such a nice car here. Or a car, at all.

“Try not to think too much about it, and let’s just enjoy dinner,” Jeongguk ends up telling as he reaches for Taehyung’s cheek, caressing it softly with those eyes Taehyung knows are shining for him. “Also, I hope you did not expect a five stars restaurant,” he laughs, “my mom has never left the neighborhood ever since we came to Seoul, and enjoys the fact that only the elderly come here. It gives her the time to do things on her own.”

“Who do you take me as?” Taehyung chuckles a bit. “I’m sure the food will be even more delicious and infinitely more fulfilling than those five-star restaurants. I—I am nervous, though. I don’t want to… I don’t know—What if she doesn’t think I’m good for you because of who I am?” 

Jeongguk stares at first with curious and round eyes, before he lets out an amused breath. “And who are you? My lovely boyfriend with kind eyes, and a kinder heart?” He leans in to press a quick kiss against Taehyung’s lips. “If anything, she’ll be surprised you thought I’d be good for you,” he laughs.

“I’m serious, Guk,” the anxiety is clawing at his throat, then. “I’ve never—met my partner’s parents, especially not since I’ve been an idol. I know what people say about me even if I wish I didn’t, and I—” he gulps. “I just don’t want her to think I’m some stuck-up brat who’s taking advantage of her son or something, you know?”

This time, Jeongguk reaches with his other hand to fully cup Taehyung’s face, a warm smile to his lips. “I promise you, she doesn’t care about rumors, or whatever the hell people write about you. I’m not even sure she looks at those, anyway. I know she’s going to love you. Trust me.” And he does look sincere. “Shall we go?”

Taehyung takes another deep breath and leans in to kiss him quickly. 

“Yeah, let’s go.” 

A nod, another kiss exchanged, and they’re leaving the car, the warm and familiar smell of homemade food reaching them.

Before they even step inside, they can hear the loud chitchats and laughs from the customers, and it only grows louder once they walk inside the small restaurant. That is, until Jeongguk greets everyone happily, drawing attention to both of them. “Good evening!” 

A few heads turn, not more than eight customers—and all retired people—and one of them chuckles upon seeing Jeongguk. At first, Taehyung believes that it might be because of him, whether he recognized him or not, but then the old man is yelling, 

“Sohyeon-ssi! Your son is here!” 

“Ya, that’s not possible!” someone else screams from the kitchen—a woman’s voice. She must have dropped a pan from the sound that echoes through the restaurant, a few seconds before she’s appearing, a towel in hand, apron on, and eyes sharp—a feature that Jeongguk didn’t quite inherit. Those round, doe eyes might come from his father. “This brat doesn’t come to visit me anym—” When her eyes meet Jeongguk’s, it is almost as if the fatigue that crept on her face suddenly dissipated. 

Jeongguk, on the other side, seems to be almost apprehensive when he smiles sheepishly, with a small wave of his hand. “Hey, mom.” 

“You—!” She rolls up the towel she’s been holding, almost charging it before she comes hitting Jeongguk’s arm with it, the latter only bringing his hands up in defense with a timid laugh as he takes every single hit. “Don’t laugh, you brat! It’s been weeks! Do you think it’s funny? Only calling your mom once every four days? You ungrateful son!” 

“Sorry, sorry, mom! You know I’ve been busy! I did tell you I’d come today, though, didn’t I?” he tries with a beam, but he receives yet another slap against his arm. And it must be a casual thing for them, since every customer seems to have gone back to their conversation, not even batting an eye at the scene. “This is Taehyung, mom,” Jeongguk finally introduces, and that’s when he reaches for Taehyung’s hand—although, for a moment, Taehyung hesitates on drawing his own hand back for fear of infuriating Jeongguk’s mom even more.

This time, though, her face seems to soften when she looks at Taehyung, a gentle smile on her lips. She fixes her apron, throws the towel over her shoulder, and takes Taehyung’s free hand in hers when she tells in a much calmer and quiet voice, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Taehyung-ah. My Jeonggukie has talked a lot about you, I hope he did not give you a hard time. He can be an annoying kid sometimes, but I promise he has a good heart.” Jeongguk scoffs at that.

“The pleasure is mine,” Taehyung smiles, shaking her hand as well. He hopes his smile doesn’t give away how nervous he still is. “And do not worry, your son has been nothing but a gift ever since he walked into my life,” he admits a bit shyly, feeling his cheeks burn a bit. Maybe that was too much. But he can’t stop his mouth before he says, “Thank you for giving birth to him and raising him so well.”

“Oh my,” she begins to speak, bringing her hands to her mouth with surprised, almost watery eyes, “not only you are gorgeous, but you are also lovely.” And she turns to look at Jeongguk with a glare this time, the sudden change of emotion comical as she lightly slaps her son’s arm once again. “How did my son find such a lovely person, uh?” She adds, bringing back her hand as if she threatens Jeongguk once again, this time in a whisper, “You should have brought him to meet me sooner, he is wonderful!”

“I told you, I’ve been busy!” Jeongguk pouts.

“I am sorry, my schedule is quite packed so I have been keeping him quite busy,” and Taehyung bows to her. “But I am so happy to be here today, and so excited to try the food of the person who taught Jeonggukie how to cook,” he smiles to her.

“Oh dear, don’t apologize! He sounded overjoyed each time he told me he’d spend the day with you.”

“Mom!” Jeongguk immediately whines but she doesn’t pay attention, and continues,

“I’m not the one who has taught him how to cook, though.” She mentions to a free table in a more quiet space, near the window where the chitchats aren’t so loud in their ears, and guides them toward it. “It was my husband,” she finally tells, and when they’re by the table, Taehyung notices the few pictures hanging on the wall behind—most of them being old pictures of a family, a couple, and some have only one, young man in it, looking a lot like Jeongguk; from the eyes to the sharp jaw. “We opened this restaurant together.”

“He did cook better than you, mom,” Jeongguk dares to say as he quickly sits down to dodge yet another slap.

“I am so sorry for your loss, by the way,” Taehyung tells her, then. Although her smile as she looks at the picture is melancholic, there seems to be more happiness for the good times than sadness. “I wish I could have met him.” 

“Oh, dear!” She hugs him tightly in her arms, so tightly and longly that it surprises Taehyung. “Thank you. And thank you, for what you did.” Her words confuse him, until he follows her eyes and finds something else hanging against the window, this time. It’s a page of a newspaper with a familiar headline.

[ OFFICIAL ] The Busan Lung Cancer Research Center & Organization has shared the incredibly generous donation made by Kim Taehyung, and expressed their gratitude for the idol’s immense help ! 

Next to it is another picture badly printed on a paper—probably made by Jeongguk’s mom—of Taehyung himself looking radiant and smiling at the camera as if she needed to put a face on the man who’s donated so generously.

“Your help doesn’t go unnoticed,” she assures with kind eyes sparkling with sincerity, “I am so incredibly grateful, Taehyung-ah. You have a golden heart, and it’s a blessing that you’re sharing it with others in need. It’s a blessing that my Jeonggukie found you.” 

And that takes him even more by surprise because he didn’t do it for this. And part of him hates that his bank account didn’t even notice that a large amount of money left, when it helped so many people. He feels bad about it, knows there’s more he could do. There’s always more. 

“I—I don’t know what to say,” he admits, then. Doesn’t want to say you’re welcome because deep down, he knows he didn’t help them. It was too late for that. And although he should feel really blessed as well that he was able to do such a donation for a cause that needs it, he almost feels cursed now, as he stands in this restaurant and in this humble neighborhood with clothes that are expensive even if they look like he’s made no effort. 

He wishes he could do more. Because the truth is he was like this too when he was younger. He was a kid from a struggling family living in a house too small for all of them, with working parents who asked him to work as well from an early age to help around the shop as he also took care of his younger siblings. 

He dreamed of becoming who he is right now, late nights when everyone was asleep, he would write songs, think of melodies and listen to them so that he could fall asleep. He dreamed of the life he has, of buying his parents the nice things they never had, of providing for them the way they worked so hard to do for him. But what about the rest of the world? 

He doesn’t realize he’s spiraling until he feels Jeongguk’s touch on his skin, on his wrist, and he turns to look at him. 

“You’re okay,” Jeongguk whispers as he gently caresses Taehyung’s wrist, and guides him into taking a seat, too. “I know I’m lucky, mom, but we’re starving!” he ends up saying to change the topic and help Taehyung to not dwell on the past.

“You’re so impatient,” her mom complains, although Taehyung has come to understand that this is simply her way to communicate with her son. “Don’t worry, Taehyung-ah, you’re going to love the food and wish that my Jeonggukie brings you here more often!” 

Jeongguk chokes on the confidence she shows, laughing a little. “Just know that he doesn’t enjoy too much spice, alright?” he whispers to her, and she gives him a thumbs up and a knowing look before disappearing into the kitchen. 

“You two are so cute,” Taehyung smiles looking at Jeongguk and in the direction where her mother went. 

“She’s just so full of energy, I can’t keep up sometimes,” Jeongguk sighs although there’s an endeared smile on his face. “I’m sorry for,” he mentions the newspaper, “all of this. She really loves you, I wasn’t lying to you back there in the car.” And he adds with an exaggerated dramatic tone, “I believe she’d swap her son for you in the blink of an eye!”

“Oh, hell no, ” Taehyung smiles fondly. “She loves you, it’s so obvious. And don’t apologize, I—I just wasn’t expecting it, is all.” And he turns to look at it again and at the picture of himself. “I’ll take a picture with your mom later so she can hang it there instead. Or would that be too much?” 

Jeongguk chuckles. “Oh, she’s going to be so overjoyed, actually. I can already picture her bragging about it to every neighbor around here!” he says with a shake of his head. “Thank you, love.”

“Anything for my mother-in-law, ” he winks at Jeongguk and reaches over to hold his hand over the table. “I hope all these people here keep our secret. I don’t mean to sound… like a brat, but I don’t think they know how to tip the tabloids, do they?” He chuckles a little as he looks around and sees the average age must be around fifty-seven. At least. 

“Oh, the TV here doesn’t even have any other channel than the National one,” Jeongguk laughs, mentioning the very old TV sitting on a shelf as his thumb gently brushes over Taehyung’s knuckles. “What they might be saying, though, is that I finally found someone,” he tells, amused, “they’ll be happy for my mom.”

“Well, I’ll surely take care of you so that she doesn’t have to worry about you,” he smiles and lifts their hands enough to kiss Jeongguk’s. “God, it smells so good, I think you’re going to have to bring me here every time instead of cooking for me yourself,” Taehyung admits and his stomach growls. Truthfully, it’s been a few hours since his last meal. He’d been too focused on the songs to even go down to the cafeteria to get something for himself. 

“She’d be so happy to hear that,” Jeongguk laughs.

Her mother comes a few minutes later, bringing the meals one by one and— god, Jeongguk didn’t lie when he said that she tends to cook a little too much. There’s Bulgogi, Samgyeopsal, Tteokbokki, and so many side dishes that they barely even see the table anymore.

“Here you go!” she tells excitedly as she brings the last plate along with soju bottles. “Hope that you enjoy, Taehyung-ah! And, don’t forget to keep some free space for the dessert,” she winks.

“Thank you so, so much! If you get a break, you should join us,” he offers, his mouth already salivating at the sight of all the food. 

“Oh, you’re so lovely,” she coos, “but I’m waiting for Namjoonie to come.”

“He’s coming?” Jeongguk immediately asks with wide, surprised eyes before her mother glares at him when she says,

“Yes he is, he visits me more often than my own son!” 

Jeongguk whines at that, before she walks back to the kitchen with a happy smile, and an excited ‘enjoy the food!’ 

“So I assume Namjoon and you have known each other for long enough that it’s like a second son for your mom, huh?” Taehyung chuckles at Jeongguk’s reaction. “You’re adorable.” 

“Exactly,” Jeongguk sighs, though it amuses him too. “And you know how parents are, praising the friend that decided to graduate from law school, while you decided to settle for art school.” He picks up the bottle of soju, pouring the both of them one glass before holding it up to cheer with a smile on his face. “To us,” he tells, probably not wanting to cheer yet for a case that hasn’t been won.

“To our bright future as artists,” Taehyung says instead while emphasizing the last word, and clicks their glasses together before he drinks it. He’s never been a big fan of soju himself, but it’s better than beer for sure. 

They start to dig in eagerly, and Jeongguk can’t help but immediately hum contentedly, a frown to his face—the expression that tells that he’s truly enjoying the food. He’s adorable and Taehyung cannot take it. “I missed it so much!” he stomps his foot once, enjoying the first bites, before his attention is drawn to something outside; another car parking there. “Oh, Namjoonie hyung is already here!” 

“Good evening,” Namjoon greets only a minute after when he enters the restaurant, and bows to everyone there. He’s wearing comfortable, simple clothes, a total contrast with the suit he had been wearing in his office. He looks way more approachable now, and almost timid. 

“Hyung, come sit here!”

At Jeongguk’s words, Namjoon looks toward them and flashes a smile. He joins them, offering Taehyung a polite bow. “Hello to you two. I didn’t know you’d come here today.”

“Good to see you, Namjoon-ssi,” Taehyung smiles after bowing at him as well. “Yeah, Gukie invited me to meet his mom,” he chuckles, a bit shy. 

“You can call me hyung, please,” Namjoon tells with a smile before he raises his eyebrows in surprise, glancing at Jeongguk once. “That’s a first. He never brought anyone here to meet her.” 

And Jeongguk averts his eyes to his plate, cheeks burning red. “I never had any serious relationship, after all, he’s my first,” he mumbles.

“Well, I guess we’re even, then. He was also the first boy I ever brought home to my parents,” Taehyung smiles, trying to ease him. “What brings you here as well, hyung?” Taehyung says, then, trying the word. It makes him feel closer to Namjoon which, after how much time they’ve been spending together lately, seems fitting.

“I actually—” Namjoon doesn’t have the time to answer before Jeongguk’s mom arrives with an excited smile.

“Namjoon-ah!” she exclaims, taking off the apron when she joins them, asking just as excitedly, “you came alone? Why didn’t you bring your idol-looking boyfriend?” Taehyung almost chokes with the bite he was about to swallow as his eyes open wide.

“B-boyfriend!?” Jeongguk echoes, choking on his own saliva, too. “Since when!?”

Namjoon chuckles nervously, shaking his head. “That’s not—I mean, Jimin is not—” 

“Jimin?!” Taehyung raises his voice without meaning to, apologizing right after. “That’s—Wow,” he’s at a loss for words. 

To be fair, the few times he’s been with them both in meetings he noticed the tension in the room, he could see the way his friend’s eyes turned into heart-shaped crescents whenever Namjoon was doing the bare minimum. But he didn’t expect him to hide it from him! 

“You should have brought him with you!” Jeongguk’s mom keeps telling, and it seems to only worsen the flush over Namjoon’s face.

“He’s not my boyfriend—yet,” Namjoon whispers the last word timidly, and waves his hand in front of him as he defends himself, “we’ve just been spending time together. And he’s busy tonight, so.”

“So you did invite him, still!” Jeongguk presumes, shock all over his face. “You traitor!” 

“Oh, come on,” Namjoon tells him. “What was the point in telling you when it’s not—I mean, I’m not even sure he likes me like that anyway.” But, just as if he’d been summoned, Namjoon’s phone on top of the table lights up with a message from one Park Jimin . 

Taehyung’s eyes dart straight away there and sees the string of emojis sent by his best friend after claiming that he wishes he was with him, instead. 

“Oh, he likes you for sure. I’ve never seen him use that many emojis for anyone before, not even me,” Taehyung chuckles, then and Namjoon’s cheeks burn even a deeper shade of red. It’s incredibly amusing. “Although, you know, better enjoy this while you can, because I’m killing him the next time I see him,” he smiles. 

“Oh, so you know him too?” Jeongguk’s mother asks as she takes a seat in front of her son. “Please, bring him next time! I’d love for you all to be here and meet both of my boys’ boyfriends!” 

“Mom,” Jeongguk sighs as he hides his face into his hands, just as embarrassed as Namjoon is. 

“He’s my best friend,” Taehyung chuckles at the poor woman who seems clueless at the whole situation. “So, I assume it’s safe to say the next time we come, we’ll be needing a table for four.” 

“This is wonderful! And don’t worry, I’ll be ready to prepare a feast for all of you!” she claps her hands excitedly.

And while Namjoon gets busy answering Jimin’s message with a silly smile on his lips, Jeongguk bumps their shoulders together with that same glare he took from his mom. “How could you hide this from me?” he whispers again, and Namjoon only sighs.

They resume eating, smiles and laughs exchanged as they listen to Jeongguk’s mom talking about how her son had always been a troublesome kid who wouldn’t listen to his parents and always get hurt—and of course Jeongguk couldn’t help but defend himself throughout the entire conversation.

“Thank you so much for coming here, Taehyung-ah,” she says by the end of the dinner, offering yet another hug, too. “It’s been wonderful getting to know the love of my son’s life!”

“Mom,” Jeongguk chuckles at that, an endeared smile to his lips.

“Thank you so much for having us and for the wonderful food, too!” Taehyung smiles back, incredibly endeared. “It was a pleasure meeting who made the love of my life the man he is today.”

His words seem to please her, as she moves to cup Jeongguk’s face and press an almost aggressive kiss to his forehead, eliciting a laugh from her son. “Do not let him go, he’s wonderful!” she tells Jeongguk, playfully slapping his chest when she adds with a smug face, “Look at you finding a pretty man like your mom did! I’m proud of you.”

Jeongguk shakes his head, amused, before he turns to Taehyung while her mom bids Namjoon goodbye, too. “I can take the picture with my phone and print it for her,” he says, talking about the so-called picture Taehyung suggested earlier as he takes out his phone, and beams. “Mom, come outside, I’ll take a picture of you and Taehyungie!” 

As if she’s called for a sudden emergency, her mother immediately moves, hastily getting ready for the picture under amused laughs from the three of them at how excited she seems.

“First of many, I am sure,” Taehyung giggles and he stands next to her under the sign of the restaurant.

“One, two, three!” Jeongguk counts with a smile as her mother even offers a V sign with her fingers, visibly overjoyed about having a picture with Taehyung. And when Jeongguk looks back at the picture, there’s something in those eyes, soft, tender, and full of love, that makes Taehyung’s chest warm. “You two look perfect.”

“You’ll give it to me next time you two come,” her mother says happily, thanking Taehyung for the picture with yet another hug, before she waves goodbye.

He feels how both his stomach and his heart are filled as Jeongguk drives them away, back home. 

— ♤ —

As soon as they arrive home, shoes and jackets discarded, Jeongguk wraps Taehyung in a tight embrace—something he wishes he did back at the company when he saw those panicked eyes. He feels as if a weight he didn’t even realize was there, tightening his chest, disappeared as soon as Taehyung met his mom. As if it was the only thing he needed—for his love to be accepted by his only family. 

“See, I told you she’d love you,” he whispers against Taehyung’s ear before he presses a kiss against his lips when he draws his head back just a bit. “I’m so relieved that dinner went well. Hope she didn’t scare you with her high energy,” he chuckles.

“She was lovely,” Taehyung smiles and leans in to drop a kiss on Jeongguk’s cheek. “Plus, I am used to your high energy already,” he chuckles and starts walking to the bedroom.

“Really?” Jeongguk asks with an amused smile, clinging to Taehyung as he follows him, and leaves a few kisses into the nape of Taehyung’s neck. “Which energy are we talking about, exactly?” Taehyung can’t help but laugh out loud at the implications. 

“You know which one,” he whispers and turns around in his arms to capture his lips for the first time in what feels like forever. “But also, you’re like an over-excited puppy most of the time, it’s cute,” he smiles against his lips with both arms thrown around his neck and he plays with his hair a little bit. That makes Jeongguk break into a smile, too.

“Now you know where I got it from,” Jeongguk says, amused, before he slides his hands down to Taehyung’s thighs and lifts him up without notice, a laugh muffled against Taehyung’s lips. “And what if the over-excited puppy is in need of attention?” 

“Then I am sure he will feel very lucky that I love giving it to him,” he smiles and leans in again, but before he kisses him, his eyes open wide. “The attention, I mean!” And he says it so panicked that Jeongguk laughs so hard he almost drops him. 

“I feel very lucky,” Jeongguk confirms as his eyes sparkle, definitely telling of his honesty. “You know what else you could, eventually, perhaps, mayhaps, give me?” he tells with those doe-eyes he knows always work on Taehyung.

“My hand in marriage? You already gave me the ring,” Taehyung smiles, probably knowing full well that was not where Jeongguk was going.

“I mean, why not,” Jeongguk chuckles, before he presses Taehyung’s back against the bedroom door he closes behind them, leaning it to capture his lips into a tender kiss. He barely draws himself back when he whispers against Taehyung’s lips, “The songs you made for me.”

Taehyung smiles then, not moving back a single inch. 

“I guess I do owe you, don’t I?” he whispers back. “Alright, darling, I’ll sing you one of your songs.” And he leans in to kiss him again, sweet and slow. 

“My songs,” Jeongguk echoes, his chest blooming with warmth while he gently lowers Taehyung back down, “I like the sound of it.”

“I’m nervous, though,” he admits as Jeongguk puts him back down. “What if you hate it?” 

At his words, Jeongguk meets his eyes with a confused look on his face. He parts his lips as to ask why would Jeongguk hate it, but he settles with, “Me? Kim Taehyung’s number one fan, hating a song he made for me?” and although his tone is playful, it is definitely sincere. How would he ever hate a song made by the one who keeps making his heart flutter?

“Okay, okay, I’m just—” he bites his lips then. “Sit down on the bed,” he signals it and takes out his phone and starts scrolling. “Give me a number from one to… seven,” he looks up a bit embarrassed. Seven. There are seven songs about him on Taehyung’s phone. That simple information is enough to make Jeongguk’s heart explode into his ears. 

“Three?” Jeongguk tries as he sits by the edge of the bed, nervous fists resting against his thighs. He starts to feel jittery, excitement making it difficult for him to sit straight and still. He doesn’t really know what to expect, from the music to the lyrics, but the fact that Taehyung spent the time to create songs about him is still unbelievable to him. 

“Oh, God, okay,” Taehyung chuckles. “So, to give a bit of context, although it’s going to be obvious the second it starts, I wrote this one before we—Well, before anything happened between us. So, you know, lots of hidden feelings and me admitting things for the first time and all that,” he adds nervously before he licks his lips. “Also, sorry if I sound like ass, you know my throat is spent after today,” he chuckles before he presses play and a melody starts playing. 

At first, it sounds like one of the songs that Taehyung put in his album, so it makes sense that he worked on it during that time as well. He just hopes the lyrics aren’t as dark, though, because he would hate to know that Taehyung’s feelings for him made him feel bad when he thought he was doing something wrong. 

But, the second Taehyung starts singing, all his fears get put to rest. The melody from the piano turns a bit lighter, as he sings about little things Jeongguk didn’t even notice he did for Taehyung at the time. He starts to sing about the way his eyes shine so brightly that he lit up his darkest nights. He starts singing about how in the abyss he’d been living for the past few years, he found a rope to help him climb out. 

And then, he sings a line that Jeongguk thinks will scar him for the rest of his life in the best way possible. 

Taehyung repeats it over and over again as the music starts to dim, as the song starts to finish. 

Please, come to my house and take me home. Please, mend all my parts and make me whole. 

When the song comes to an end, Jeongguk sits there with his lips parted, his heart too loud and too big inside his throat, still taking in every single word Taehyung sang, and the emotions that have been poured into the song. He doesn’t think he can trust his own voice, so he tries to gather all those overwhelming feelings when he calls, “Taehyung,” and tries again when he reaches for Taehyung’s hand, “Love.” But he isn’t sure that whatever he has in mind would be enough to describe what he just felt. Also, perhaps the tears that had gathered in his eyes are enough to tell how much the song as affected him. “The song is beautiful,” he breathes out, and he believes that perhaps kissing Taehyung with passion would be better than any words, too. 

So he pulls him in, and does just that.

Taehyung kisses him back just as passionately, throwing his phone to the bed so that his hands are free to roam through Jeongguk’s chest to pull him even closer. The kiss tastes salty from their tears, but Jeongguk doesn’t break it. 

“I love you,” Taehyung whispers in between kisses.

“I love you so much,” Jeongguk whispers back, his fingers running through Taehyung’s hair, wanting him close, close and closer. “You’re the first person to make me feel like my heart is about to jump out from how loud it beats for you,” and he doesn’t think he’s exaggerating even one bit. “I still can’t believe you’ve done that for me,” he breathes out, his chest spasming with the overwhelming emotion.

“And I hope I’m the last one, too, because there are more words I need to sing for you, darling,” Taehyung cups his face, softly. “You’re it for me. You mended all my parts and made me whole.” 

Jeongguk sniffles and presses his lips together now that his own watery eyes meet Taehyung’s, trying to keep himself from crying even more. He can’t help it, he’s a sensitive boy just like his mother said—and even more when it comes to the people he cherishes. Even more when it comes to the one he loves so passionately. And perhaps in front of somebody else he’d feel embarrassed, but it is nothing but safety and warmth that he feels with Taehyung. “I’m not as good with words as you are,” he starts, blinking the tears away, “but you’re the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, love. So, you have time to make even more songs for me,” and he says it with such an emotional face that it is almost comical.

“Good,” he smiles and kisses the tip of his nose before he locks their lips together again. “If you keep crying I’ll think you hated it, though!” Taehyung chuckles and hugs him tightly. “I’ll record it properly just for you,” he promises. 

“I’ll cry again when you do,” Jeongguk tells as he nuzzles into Taehyung’s hair and breathes in slowly to calm down his erratic heart. “I can’t believe you’re my boyfriend,” he mumbles from where he’s hiding his face now, tightening his arms around Taehyung as to not leave his embrace. “I’ve won at life.”

“Well, believe it, baby, because I’m not going anywhere,” he replies, soothingly running his fingers through his hair to help him calm down. “Come on, let’s get you to bed, yeah?” he chuckles a bit. “Thank God you didn’t choose a sad song or else I don’t know what either of us would’ve done.” 

At his words, Jeongguk quickly draws his head back almost in shock, blinking a couple of times. “You have sad songs about me?” he asks, and although he knows that he shouldn’t be requesting to hear for more, he can’t help the curiosity that flashes through his eyes. “When will you make me listen to them all?”

“I was kidding, I just wanted to see your reaction,” Taehyung giggles and drops himself in bed, Jeongguk falling with him. “I mean, there are sad songs, but mostly about… well, me. You know, demons speaking when it comes to you and such, and I will let you listen soon. Most of them aren’t really finished anyway, just words and a vague idea of a melody. You can read them all, if you want,” he smiles softly, putting a strand of hair behind Jeongguk’s ear. 

Jeongguk hums, “I’d love to read them.” And he keeps his arms around Taehyung, pulling him closer as if it was even possible, and runs his lips along Taehyung’s jaw down to his neck where he presses a few kisses. “You’ll soon be able to release your songs,” he whispers.

“Oh, I love it when you talk dirty to me, baby,” Taehyung chuckles, then, turning around to capture Jeongguk’s lips in a way that feels much less like he’s joking around. “I can’t wait,” he whispers on his lips before he licks Jeongguk’s lower lip, kissing him again right after. 

“Me neither,” Jeongguk breathes out against Taehyung’s lips, letting his hands trail down Taehyung’s body while he slowly turns them around as to be on top. Murmuring with such emotions in his eyes, his heart calmer but still so loud that he believes Taehyung can feel it beating against his chest, “Can I make love to you?”

“Please, ” Taehyung begs in a whisper. “Take me home, my love.” 

Jeongguk captures his lips at the words that made his chest bloom with burning warmth, and his heart jump out. And he does just that. He takes him to where his home is, into Jeongguk’s arms.

Chapter Text

[1 month later]

Summer’s coming to an end and with it, the unbearable heat is starting to fade to allow fall to arrive. The colors are starting to change as the trees get ready to rid themselves of their leaves, letting the old baggage die in order to renew themselves for another year. 

The month of August has been a wild one. Taehyung released his summer single and, as the company expected, it did well on the charts: both domestically and internationally. Taehyung did not seem that pleased because every win the company gets, is a loss for him, in his books. 

He did some promotions in music shows and won a few trophies, but none of that mattered to him because he was still in chains. Metaphorical, of course. 

At least he got to come home to warm arms and soft kisses every night. That he was thankful to his company. 

Jeongguk had kept himself busy, following him around and making sure he was okay, pulling all-nighters with him when he had to record stages in the early hours of the day, driving him around and making out in the back of the car whenever that was the only time they had for one another. Jeongguk also decided that he was going to apply to the photography course after all, which made Taehyung incredibly happy to hear. He knew how much that meant to Jeongguk, and there was nothing else he’d want for him other than for him to be happy doing what he loves. 

The first rays of sun peek through the window that they both forgot to close last night and wake Taehyung. He’s not one to usually get awakened by such things, ever the heavy sleeper, but for some reason, he’s wide awake. 

Jeongguk is still soundly asleep next to him, the light snores coming out of his parted lips make Taehyung smile, affection and endearment blooming in his chest. He has to physically stop himself from bending down and kissing his exposed back all the way down. 

He’s happy, he’s in love and he is loved back. Not much else he could ask for. 

Yeontan lays at the feet of the bed, still asleep as well, but the second Taehyung reaches to get his phone, the puppy stirs awake, but Taehyung shushes him, not wanting to wake Jeongguk just yet. It’s probably too early and it’s not like they went to bed at a reasonable hour last night. Not that Taehyung is complaining.

However, maybe he should’ve stayed asleep, or maybe his subconscious was stirring him awake, knowing that something was wrong. 

He’s got too many messages to read. And that’s never good. 

Messages from people at the company. 

What did you do? 

You’re gonna regret this. 

After all we’ve done for you? That’s low. 

You’re such an ungrateful brat. 

What the fuck, Taehyung? 

This won’t end well for you

See you in court, get ready to wave your career goodbye. 

Taehyung’s heart sinks the more he reads. 

What the fuck happened while they were asleep? 

Some of them sent screenshots of news articles to explain what they meant and Taehyung’s eyes open wide. 

[ BREAKING NEWS ] Idol Kim Taehyung sues his company HYBE Entertainment for abuse and violation of his contract.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Taehyung panics, turning to where Jeongguk is still asleep, and shakes him a bit. “Guk, wake up,” he hates to do this, but he needs him. Needs him to hold him. Needs him to tell him that it’s gonna be okay. 

“Mh?” Jeongguk hums drowsily as he wakes up, turning toward Taehyung and reaching somewhere as if he’s searching for Taehyung’s hand. “What is it, love?” he asks, clearly not aware of the situation, clearly not sensing Taehyung’s panic.

“I—I think someone leaked the news of my suing the company,” he stutters, staring at the messages once again, scrolling and scrolling, all of them pretty much saying the same thing. That he’ll regret this. 

Jeongguk frowns at first, the situation still not sinking in until his eyes snap wide open and he sits up abruptly. “What do you mean?” he’s quick to ask, reaching to take Taehyung’s phone to see what he means. And when he does, he shakes his head vigorously, “No, that’s not possible. How would this be leaked?”

“I don’t—” he starts, but the panic is making him unable to say anything else. This can’t get ruined now. This was his only shot. “Can you—call hyung?” 

“Yeah,” Jeongguk is quick to answer as he searches for Namjoon’s number, and brings the phone to his ear while his free hand runs soothingly through Taehyung’s hair to try and appease him. “Hyung, what’s going on?” Taehyung can barely hear Namjoon’s voice, until Jeongguk puts him on speaker. “Did someone leak the news?”

“What?” Namjoon answers, sounding more confused than anything. “No. But I did start the process, and we already have a date for the trial. Have they contacted Taehyung?” 

Jeongguk looks up to meet Taehyung’s eyes. And he sighs, closing his eyes, relieved. 

“Yeah, they—I woke up with many threatening messages from them and I thought—Sorry for waking you, hyung…” Taehyung sighs, biting his lip nervously and feeling like he could cry from the emotional whiplash from the past few minutes. 

“I texted Jeongguk last night. Didn’t you guys see it?”

Jeongguk blinks at that before he turns to retrieve his phone from the nightstand. And indeed, there’s a new message from Namjoon, explaining what he just said, and warning them about the potential messages Taehyung could receive until the trial. “Sorry hyung, I didn’t see it,” Jeongguk breathes out and Namjoon sighs. 

“It’s fine, but Taehyung should try to avoid looking at those. There’s nothing they can do, now, except scaring you. Do not worry.”

“I’ll try,” Taehyung gulps. “Also, hyung, should we… um—whenever news like these break out, many reporters like camping outside my building… should we go stay at Jeongguk’s until this whole thing is over?” 

Namjoon hums. “That’s a very good idea. And do remember to not answer nor acknowledge any of their questions, if you ever encounter them before the trial. We have everything in control so far, so let’s not ruin our chances.”

“Okay, hyung. Thank you and sorry again,” Taehyung sighs. “Let us know if anything else comes up.”

“I will. Next time I might call, though.” 

And Jeongguk can’t help but breathe out an amused chuckle. “We... wouldn’t have answered.”

“Alright I’ll stick to messages,” Namjoon is quick to say back without asking anything, probably having an idea of the reason. “This is going to be over very soon, so, again, do not worry. We’ll win this.” 

After that, Namjoon hangs up and Taehyung literally deflates and falls on Jeongguk’s arms with a groan. 

“That was so stressful and terrifying,” he sighs, wishing he could somehow bury himself in Jeongguk’s skin and cease to exist until this is all over. He decides to turn off his phone to avoid the chances of getting any more threatening messages or seeing other articles that might hurt him. 

“It’s alright, cub,” Jeongguk murmurs as he gently caresses Taehyung’s back, keeping him close in his arms. “Think about it the other way around. If they’re resorting to threats, that means they don’t have much power in this case, and they know it. They know that they’re not going to win, so they’re trying to make you turn back on your decision so that this trial doesn’t happen.” He nuzzles into Taehyung’s hair, pressing a gentle kiss there.

“Yeah, I hope you’re right,” he sighs and hugs him tighter. Yeontan calls for their attention, then, and Taehyung turns. “I should pack some clothes, and we need to take him to my parents’ for the time being… I hate that your place isn’t pet friendly. I bet you’d be a great dog dad yourself. When you move in with me, we’re getting another dog.” 

Jeongguk smiles at that, and leans to capture Taehyung’s lips into a gentle kiss. “I’ll love that. Although I’ll probably choose a bigger dog. Perhaps a Doberman,” he chuckles when they part. 

“That suits you, actually,” Taehyung smiles, imagining it. 

“Let’s get ready to leave before any of them learn the news and come here,” Jeongguk decides, then, and Taehyung sighs again. 

“They’re probably already there.” And, when he stands up and looks through the window, he sees he’s right. “Actually, do you mind—Taking Tannie while I pack? Since I won’t be in the car, they might not bother you like that.” 

Jeongguk nods, leaves the bed and puts on a clean underwear before he walks up to kiss Taehyung’s neck. “I’ll come back right after to pick you up.”

“Thank you,” Taehyung reaches over to grab his arm and pull him back for a quick kiss. “Be careful, okay?” And he gets up as well to pick Tannie up and shower him with kisses as well. “I’ll see you as soon as I can, okay? Be good!” He tells him and hands him back to Jeongguk. “You know where his crate is, right?” 

Jeongguk nods and bends down to give him one more kiss before he leaves. 

Taehyung takes a deep breath and throws some clothes on before he starts packing. 

— ♤ —

Jeongguk didn’t know what to expect, but it was certainly not to see so many reporters already standing before the building, waiting for Taehyung to come out. Thankfully, the gates to the building are closed, and the doorman is doing quite a good job at keeping those people far from the main entrance. Still, he feels nervous—not for him, but for Taehyung. Nervous about his reaction, nervous about how they’re going to leave the building safely. 

It has been quite some time now since the last incident back at the jewelry shop, but Jeongguk still remembers it clearly. Remembers how panic started to fill Taehyung’s eyes, remembers how tightly Taehyung gripped him while they tried to get through the overwhelmingly intrusive crowd. He doesn’t want it to happen all over again. 

With a deep intake of breath, Jeongguk runs to his car, puts Yeontan safely at the back and takes a seat behind the wheel before he’s leaving the building with the help of the doorman who stops anyone from entering behind Jeongguk. 

When he glances at the time on his watch, Jeongguk’s first thought is to wonder how; how did the media already get their hands on the news? How did the company already have the time to contact the reporters? And also—how far are they capable of going until the trial happens? 

Jeongguk’s phone buzzes with an incoming call. Glancing at it, he picks up through the car’s screen, and it’s Namjoon’s voice that resounds. 

“You’re out, already?” 

“I thought you’d stick to messages,” Jeongguk tries in an amused laugh. He’s trying to lighten the already heavy atmosphere, and his own worried heart. “I’m on my way to Taehyung’s parents to drop Yeontan off. What’s up? Something came up?” 

“No. Not really. Except for the fact that the CEO of that company has allowed the media to interview him in front of the HYBE building, two hours before the trial,” he sighs, and the news almost prompts Jeongguk to abruptly stop the car. 

“What?” Jeongguk lets out a nervous breath. “You’re kidding.”

“I wish.” 

“We can’t let that happen,” Jeongguk resolves, and he’s gripping the wheel so tight that he believes he might pull it off. “Is there any way we can avoid that?”

“It actually puts them into a disadvantage if they mention anything about the trial. Sensitive information, whether it is about Taehyung or not. So I assume they won’t say a thing but—”

“We can’t be so sure,” Jeongguk finishes. He presses his lips together into a thin, furious line, bumping into the horn to make the car in front of him move at the green light. “Fuck, this is insane. They’re fucking insane.”

For a moment, Namjoon doesn’t respond, and Jeongguk believes the call might have cut without notice, but then he hears a breath of frustration. “There’s only one way I can buy us time before the trial, but I don’t like this.”

“What is it, hyung?” Jeongguk asks again, when he feels Namjoon hesitate, “Please, hyung, I’ll do anything for him,” you know that. 

“I’ll get to the reporters first.” It is a first sentence that, alone, doesn’t exactly explain much. So Jeongguk keeps silent, and listens to Namjoon resume saying, “I’ll be the only one talking to them. They’re already here by the building I work in, too, so it’s gonna be easy.”

“You’re going to let them interview you!?”

“No,” Namjoon is quick to respond and clear out, “I’ll threaten the company in a way that the public doesn’t catch it.” 

Jeongguk turns a bit too aggressively into Taehyung’s parents’ neighborhood, eyes wide. “You? Kim Namjoon? Threatening someone?” and he doesn’t sound amused, more so surprised than anything.

“I’ll just dissuade them from talking, I won’t reveal any sensitive information—any information at all, actually. That is all.” 

Jeongguk scoffs at that. Sure. Namjoon knows how to stay subtle. At least, for his work. “I trust you,” he still ends up saying, feeling a bit more relieved at those words. He knows that Namjoon is careful about his words, careful about the information he shares with anyone and especially when it comes to his cases. If he says that getting to the media first is the best solution for them—Jeongguk trusts him. 

Because Namjoon has never lost; and it is mostly due to how he keeps outsmarting the opponents. It has almost become easy for him. A child’s play.

“The trial is in two days, right?” 

Namjoon hums. “It’ll give you both the time to check over what you should and shouldn’t say, one last time. You two need to be there an hour before, also.” 

A nod, although Namjoon can’t see. Freedom is close. And although it is nerve-wracking, terrifying, Jeongguk can be assured that the future isn’t uncertain. They’re gonna win this. 

Jeongguk doesn’t take much time when he arrives by the Kim’s house. He doesn’t exactly explain the situation, doesn’t even mention it for the sole reason that they might not know a thing about what happened between those suffocating walls of the company, and he doesn’t want to be the one revealing it, either. So he simply leaves Yeontan with a warm smile, and a face that hides all the worry that has been piling and crawling at his insides.

He drives back home only a few minutes later, and thankfully—in a way—he sees the exact same amount of reporters. Whether it is the same people or not, he doesn’t know, but at least he’s allowing himself to feel relieved over the fact that there aren’t more people crowding the entry. 

Driving through the gates again, thanking the doorman for his help, Jeongguk comes up the seventh floor back into Taehyung’s apartment, ringing first to announce his presence before he enters. “Baby cub, you’re ready?” 

“I’m ready,” Taehyung announces coming out from the hallway with a suitcase a little bit too big for a two-day move. “How bad is it? Be honest.” He asks, preparing himself. He must have seen it from the window earlier, but most of them are too close to the entrance to be seen. 

“It’s—” Jeongguk begins to say, but he lets out a heavy sigh. “They’re crowding the gates right now. We should expect them to follow us, but at least we can get to the car safely,” he’s quick to reassure, reaching for Taehyung’s hand with a small smile. “Mr. Yeo made sure that no one entered behind me. Just—don’t pay attention if they start screaming nonsense, alright?” he squeezes Taehyung’s hand gently.

“I’ll try my best,” he sighs. “Did my mom say something? She hasn’t seen anything yet, has she?” 

Jeongguk shakes his head. “She doesn’t seem to know anything for now.” He reaches for the handle of the suitcase. “Let me take this,” he offers as they leave the apartment to head toward the car. And he can’t help but ask, to try and lighten the heavy atmosphere, “You’re bringing everything to move in with your boyfriend?” He mentions the size of the suitcase with an amused smile. 

“Well, duh. I better be prepared. Who knows what might happen? Plus, you know I’ve always liked your place better. It’s more cozy,” he shrugs. It’s safer, too. Taehyung doesn’t say that but Jeongguk reads it in his eyes. Even after they changed the code, even though they had no more incidents, Jeongguk knows that place is still filled with ghosts and bad memories for him. 

“And it’s better when you’re with me,” Jeongguk adds, pressing a kiss to Taehyung’s lips when they’re still inside the building, before he gently lets go of his hand to wrap an arm around him and keep him close. But mostly, keep him out of the sight of the reporters already screaming from where they are, to try and get as much information as they can. “You can get inside first while I put the suitcase in the back,” Jeongguk whispers, his gentle fingers caressing Taehyung’s arm to keep him grounded, and keep his attention away from the thousand questions that are fired at them. Don’t listen.

“I love you,” Taehyung says, then, out of nowhere, as if he kinda needed to say it right then. And Jeongguk’s heart falters at that—it’s the first time he’s hearing those words outside their apartment’s walls. It’s the first time he’s hearing those being spoken so freely, under dozens of cameras, and Jeongguk just wishes he could kiss Taehyung right now. 

And when he opens the door for Taehyung to open, their eyes meet, full of love and overwhelming feelings, when Jeongguk echoes the words in a whisper filled with so much passion, “I love you.” 

The door closes and he goes around to put the suitcase in the back, the flashes blinding, and he sees Taehyung look down, playing with his ring to calm down and he hurries to head inside the car. 

“Let’s get out of here,” Taehyung whispers, and Jeongguk notices he put his headphones on not to hear anything. 

Jeongguk is quick to maneuver the car out of the parking, although he has to slow down when they pass through the gates with how the reporters immediately crowd the path, until he hurries them away from there.

— ✧ —

Taehyung keeps his headphones on throughout the whole drive back to Jeongguk’s apartment. He knows he doesn’t need to, but he’s also feeling a tightening in his chest that he knows will only disappear once they make it back into the safety of their four walls and the arms of his lover. 

In the meantime, he plays his so-called “breathe” playlist and tries to calm down. 

Although he tried not to, he did hear some of the things that were yelled at him as he waited for Jeongguk to get into the car. And he knew they were said to get a reaction, to get headlines and exclusives that he knew damn well he didn’t need to give them, but still, they hurt. 

But how much more can he hurt, if you really think about it? 

The streets of Seoul run past them as Jeongguk drives, and although the music keeps playing in his ears, Jeongguk’s hand is tight on top of his thigh, a pleasant reminder that he is there. Taehyung’s rests on top of it, his green ring shining bright over it. 

This will all soon be over, he knows. Soon he will be free, one way or another. If it goes well, he will be free from the nightmares and his company, and if it goes bad, his career will be over. It’s not scary at all. 

They eventually make it to Jeongguk’s apartment and Taehyung allows him to carry his suitcase all the way up. 

The second the door closes behind them, Taehyung wraps his arms around him and hugs him tightly, breathing him in, feeling his heart start to calm down, now. That’s it. We’re home. 

“Hi,” Taehyung sighs, feeling silly to be greeting him even though they’ve been together for all this time. But he feels like he wasn’t really there, not really. 

“Hi,” Jeongguk responds with a smile as his hands draw soothing circles against Taehyung’s back. “You strangely look like the love of my love,” he chuckles, leaning in for a tender, slow kiss. They take the time to taste each other’s lips, to feel each other’s arms, to breathe in each other’s familiar and comforting scent. “The man of my dreams,” he continues in a whisper, “the one I wish to spend an eternity with.”

“Oh, my, then he must be a very lucky man indeed,” Taehyung smiles against his lips, again and he kisses him again, humming into the kiss as he finds both his hands and holds them, their fingers intertwining like they were meant to hold each other like that. “Thank you for taking me out of there safely.”  

“That’s what I’m supposed to do, isn’t it?” he smiles, whispering as to explain, “not as your bodyguard... but as your lover.” A duty as your man. 

“You’re so damn good at that,” he pulls back enough to look into his eyes. Those eyes he fell for so easily, those eyes that outshine galaxies without trying. “At loving me.”

“It isn’t hard when I’m such a fool for you.” Jeongguk shifts ever so slightly to press a kiss against Taehyung’s forehead, down to the tip of his nose, along his jaw, and finally against his lips. “Should we lie down?” he asks in between gentle, short kisses as if it would be enough to ease the nervousness that comes with his next words, “Go over what Namjoon sent us for the trial?”

“Yeah, let’s do that,” he sighs, letting himself be guided to Jeongguk’s bed. A bed he’s used to, after they’ve been together for almost two months now. “Actually, can I use your phone? I wanna call Jimin to tell him not to worry if I don’t pick up since I turned my phone off.” 

“Of course,” Jeongguk hums immediately, and reaches for the phone in his pocket to hand it to Taehyung.

When he goes to unlock it, he can’t help but smile at the picture on his lock screen. 

“I still can’t believe you’ve got this here. What if someone steals your phone or something? Our secret would be out!” He chuckles as he looks at the picture Jeongguk took of a sleeping Taehyung one night, sleeping on his stomach with the sheets pooling around his waist, bare back exposed and with his arm stretched as he looked for Jeongguk in his bed. 

Taehyung had to fight hard the urge to post it himself because it’s such a beautiful shot, so innocent and hot at the same time. 

“Can’t I look at the man I love at any time during the day?” Jeongguk smiles, “I had to keep it here for whenever you’re not with me.”

“You’re so sappy,” he chuckles and kisses his cheek. “I love you, though.” And it’s funny. It’s not as if Taehyung doesn’t have a picture of them as his home screen as well. But it’s the home screen so that only he can see. Nobody else. Just for him. “Alright, I’m gonna call Jimin, although I don’t know why I bother if Namjoon hyung probably told him already,” Taehyung rolls his eyes. 

The thing going on between Namjoon and Jimin has been… going, as far as Taehyung knows. He thinks that Namjoon is trying his best to wait until the trial is over, but Jimin being Jimin won’t let him. 

He still remembers the day Taehyung told him that they found out through Jeongguk’s mom that they were together. Taehyung received flowers from his best friend for like a week as an apology. 

They’re not together, not officially at least, but something tells Taehyung that, when Jeongguk called this morning, Jimin wasn’t too far away, either. 

“Hello?” Jimin picks up. Taehyung almost feels offended that he doesn’t get greeted with Taehyung, light of my life, or something of the sort. But then, he remembers he’s calling from Jeongguk’s phone. 

“Hey, Minnie,” Taehyung says back. 

“Oh! Taehyungie, baby! ” That’s more like it. He smiles. “ What’s wrong? Did you throw your phone against a wall again?”  

“No, I did not. My phone is perfectly fine, thank you very much,” Taehyung chuckles. “I just called to let you know that I’m at Jeongguk’s and will be staying here until the trial. Also, my phone is off, so if you need anything, contact him.” 

“Right, the trial,” Jimin hums. “Joonie hyung said he was gonna start the process soon. Is the news out?” 

“Yup,” Taehyung sighs. 

“You alright?” 

“I’m okay,” Taehyung smiles and turns to look at Jeongguk and sees him trying to organize everything that Namjoon gave them on top of the bed. “I’ll be okay.” 

“Alright, well, thank you for calling to let me know! I surely didn’t know about you being at Jeongguk’s or anything.” 

“Right, sure. Say hi to Hyung for us.” And after that, before he gets the chance to complain, Taehyung hangs up with a chuckle and hands the phone back to Jeongguk, leaning forward and dropping a kiss on his knee which is the closest part of him right now. “All done.”

“You’re still teasing him?” Jeongguk laughs when he takes the phone back and gently guides Taehyung to climb on the bed next to him.

“Of course I am,” Taehyung chuckles and does as he’s instructed. “If he didn’t want to get teased, he shouldn’t have kept this from me! I told him about us hooking up the very next day! Granted, it was written all over my face, so, it would’ve been dumb to deny it, but still! ” 

“It is true that you were glowing that day,” it’s Jeongguk’s turn to tease him with an amused and endeared smile. “But knowing Namjoonie hyung, he probably told him not to take things too fast. I can’t believe this case has brought them together,” he laughs.

“What can I say? You did fuck me really good, babe,” he whispers in his ear before he bites it playfully, giggling right after. He knows he might be doing this to distract them from what they’re supposed to be doing, but it’s scary, and kissing Jeongguk isn’t. 

And Jeongguk seems to have picked up on that, as he slides a hand to Taehyung’s waist, his fingers finding a way under his shirt to gently caress his skin. “You know we have two whole days for this, we don’t need to go through it all if it’s too much for you,” he reminds in a whisper against Taehyung’s lips. “Let’s take it slow.”

“As long as you kiss me through it, I’ll survive it. And, you know, the sooner we finish, the better, right?” he sighs, trying to convince himself, mostly. 

“Should I make you look forward to a reward, then, to help you?” Jeongguk tries with a smile, reaching for the first file. Taehyung hums, then, dropping a kiss on his shoulder. 

“Yep, bribing works,” he chuckles. 

Jeongguk presses another kiss against Taehyung’s lips before he opens the file that contains all they need to know about the case, and proofs related to it. He gently squeezes Taehyung’s waist to reassure, saying, “Come on, then, let’s get through this together.” 

And, Taehyung takes a deep breath and nods. 

Here they go. 

— ♤ —

Although reviewing the documents required a few, short breaks, gentle kisses and reassuring touches, they managed to go over it in an hour and a few minutes. Jeongguk could feel the nervousness making Taehyung stop at times, or search for comfort each time he leaned in for a kiss—and needless to say that the reward managed to dissipate all those worries and fears.

Jeongguk took the time, once all the documents were out of sight, to kiss every part of Taehyung’s body. To make him relax under his touches after he told him to just lie down and let him take care of him. And Jeongguk did just that. There was no rush, no urgency in the way they kissed each other, touched each other. In the way Jeongguk worshiped every part of Taehyung’s body, dropped a few whispered ‘pretty,’ ‘beautiful,’ against Taehyung’s skin and made love to him with slow, deep thrusts as to feel the warmth of his body against his. Close, close and closer. 

They fell into a comfortable silence after that, listening to each other’s breathing where they were lying naked and tangled on the bed. And the feeling of Taehyung’s heartbeat against Jeongguk’s chest manages to steal a smile from him as he presses a kiss into the crook of Taehyung’s neck.

“What would you think of it if my very first photography collection would be about you?” And only you. It is whispered against Taehyung’s ear, while the pads of his fingers trail up and down his curves. “About how beautiful my love is.”

Taehyung turns enough to look at him with an expression of surprise. 

“About me?” He whispers, almost shyly. “For the entire world to see?” 

Jeongguk hums, and then breaks into an amused smile at the question. “I won’t depict everything, I’m protective of what’s ours,” he breathes out a small laugh. “Our moments, our kisses, our touches.. I just want to show a glimpse of what I see when I look at you. I told you, I am not good with words, not as much as I am at showing my emotions through photography.” He then looks up to meet Taehyung’s eyes with a smile, and a look full of love. 

“Then I would be honored, darling,” Taehyung whispers against his lips before he kisses them. “Can you… tell me about it?” Taehyung asks, then. “How did you start getting interested in photography? I don’t think you’ve ever told me.” And he looks at him with such interested eyes, eager to learn more about him, to learn about something that Jeongguk so clearly cares about. 

“Mh, I’m not sure I can pinpoint exactly when I started to get interested in photography,” Jeongguk begins to say as he reminds himself of the past, a smile to his lips. “My father bought my very first film camera when I was ten, I believe. I wasn’t that interested in it at first, kept taking blurry pictures of my parents,” he laughs at the memory. “But I knew I wanted to follow an artistic path. To be honest, I tried Fine Arts before switching to photography. Although most might not agree with me, photography has more freedom. It allows you to picture exactly what you want to show. And when you find yourself a muse,” his fingers trail up to run through Taehyung’s hair, “you want people to see what you see, and I started to do that through a camera lens. You know,” he pauses again, biting down on his lower lip as if he hesitates on speaking his next words, before he says in a whisper, “you debuted before I switched programs for Photography.”

“I mean, you are good at drawing, too. I have a few drawings at home that prove that,” he smiles, leaning further back into his embrace, then. “Did I inspire you to follow your dreams, too?” he half-jokes in Jeongguk’s arms. 

But Jeongguk doesn’t laugh, and instead averts his eyes with red, burning cheeks. “Will you laugh at me if I say yes?”

“Oh, darling,” Taehyung cups his face, then, lovingly. “I would never. Did you actually?” he brushes his thumb across his cheeks, and he seems to get emotional, too. 

Jeongguk nods timidly, and for a moment he thinks about how to explain, about what to say, before he tries, “There was just something about you, ever since I saw you and heard you sing. It was the first time I’d been interested in getting into as many events as I could to photograph you,” he admits, and it seems that embarrassment starts to spread all over his face before he decides to hide it into the crook of Taehyung’s neck. “I wasn’t an obsessed fan, I swear. You’d always been gorgeous to me, that is all. Your face, your smile, your eyes, your voice and the passion you always had for singing,” he mumbles it, now, from where he’s hiding. “I was actually frustrated that I couldn’t get any good picture of you in the beginning of my photography years. You were just too good for any camera lens.”

“Please, you’re just so cute! No need to flatter me, my love, you’ve already got me,” he chuckles and manages to get Jeongguk’s face from his hiding spot. “I’m glad I could help, because you are very talented, baby. And the world deserves to experience your talent the same way I’ve been lucky enough to do,” he smiles, brushing their noses together sweetly. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice you in the crowds before, I feel like there would’ve been no way I would forget you. Fan boys aren’t really common at my events, especially at the beginning. Did you come to any fansigns? I would’ve remembered you, then.”

“I didn’t exactly show my face,” Jeongguk admits, remembering how he’d always wear a mask to blend in with the crowd, too scared of being recognized. And perhaps that is also why he enjoys photography—for its anonymity, in a way. “And I had always been terrified of meeting you,” and he adds quickly to explain, “I would have most probably lose my ability to speak if you ever looked into my eyes. I’m serious, I don’t even know how I managed to look straight into your eyes the first time we met.”

“God, and I was such a bitch to you that day… when people say ‘don’t meet your heroes’ they were clearly talking about me, huh?” he chuckles a bit. “I’m sorry about that, by the way. I know it’s long in the past but… you never deserved that.” 

Jeongguk is quick to shake his head. “Don’t apologize for that. It did teach me to not idolize anyone before I even met them,” he laughs, mostly amused than anything, “although, you are even better than the perfect image I painted of you all these years.”

“Am I?” He turns around. “Did you use to imagine us together like this? Did you dream about me, baby?” he smirks, arms around his neck and with his hands getting lost in his long hair. Taehyung really loves playing with it. “Is it weird that I’m asking this?” He laughs, then. 

“It’d be weirder if I admitted posting love letters about you all over the campus,” Jeongguk laughs, although it dies down when he sees the way Taehyung’s eyebrows raise. He quickly tries to defend himself, face flushed, “I’m kidding! It’s just a joke!” 

“Sure you are, baby,” he chuckles, then. “Show me more pics, I wanna see more,” and he bends down to kiss his cheek quickly before he maneuvers himself again into sitting between Jeongguk’s legs, his naked back against Jeongguk bare chest.

Jeongguk reaches for the tablet on the nightstand and brings it to Taehyung’s lap, propping his chin over Taehyung’s shoulder to be able to choose the file that contains all the pictures, organized by the years they were taken. “I actually have... too many,” he admits with a sigh—he has never had the courage to delete even one, at least not when the subject has been Taehyung. Whether the picture if blurry or not, he kept every single one of them. And it’s a lot. “Which ones do you wanna see?”

Taehyung hums, as if he was trying to decide and scrolls through the folder, seeing all the years and bites his lip, nervously. Jeongguk catches it in the reflection of the screen. 

“Do you have any from… how your life was back before you moved to the city? Or before you even knew me. Like—I wanna see how it started. And I know you might think those are bad, but I feel like someone’s origins, although might make us cringe, are worth appreciating, because without them we wouldn’t be where we are now.”

At those words, warmth makes a home of Jeongguk’s chest, a smile spreading on his lips as he nods faintly and helps Taehyung find the very first file—and it contains pictures from the first five years of acquiring the film camera. Jeongguk didn’t take a lot of pictures, hence why he compiled them into a single file, and yet he believes that it’s the one that holds the most beautiful memories, just like Taehyung said. Most of them, just like he had told, are blurry, and others have interesting compositions. Somehow, Jeongguk liked to take close-up pictures of his subjects, whether it be the first dog his family had, birds, or any animal he’d encountered. He did the same with people, too; and most pictures depict the beautiful love between his parents. And he did love capturing those moments. The first time his mom baked a cake for his father’s birthday. The first time they tried to paint the new house they moved in—and had to call for their neighbor's help. The first time his mom burned a meal—and all these moments ended up in laughter, all of those captured in the pictures. Their smiles are big, happy, and content with what life had to offer them despite all the hardships. 

“Mom really likes these,” Jeongguk tells when he shows the few pictures he took of his father getting ready for a wedding. He’s looking at the camera, seemingly surprised by his own son capturing that moment, and the way he’s turned, the way his hair is parted like that, makes him look just like Jeongguk. The eyes, the jaw, the raised eyebrows. “It’d be wonderful if I aged as gracefully. I’d still be hot at fifty,” he laughs.

“Oh, I have no doubt in my mind you will be, darling. Hottest dad at school, for sure,” he smiles and turns around, as if to check if Jeongguk is okay after going through those pictures, and Jeongguk offers a nod. “They’re beautiful, baby. The way you saw the world… even back then… it’s so clear that your heart has always been so full of love to give.” 

“You flatter me too much,” he tells, although he can’t help the satisfied smile spreading on his lips, relieved to know that Taehyung enjoyed the picture his younger, innocent self took of his own life. “But it is nice to keep those memories like that forever. Our brain is great, but it doesn’t keep every single moment as vivid as a photograph does. I wanna do this with you,” he murmurs, and presses a kiss against Taehyung’s neck, “with us.” Taehyung hums appreciatively at the pressure on his skin and leans back further. 

“And I’ll let you,” he whispers, finding his hands and holding them. “Kinda want to see myself through your eyes. Wanna see us grow old together through the years,” he rests his head against Jeongguk’s, then. “No matter what happens in a few days, no matter the outcome, even if I lose everything, I know I’ll still have you.”

Jeongguk hums at that, leaving the tablet on the side to wrap his arms around Taehyung’s frame. “You will. I’ll never leave your side, no matter what,” he echoes, and closes his eyes as he relaxes at the comforting sound of Taehyung’s calm breathing.

They stay like that, in silence, for a while. For so long that Jeongguk almost fears Taehyung fell asleep in his arms, but suddenly, he speaks again. 

“Should I cook us some food?” He offers, and he does so seriously. Truth is, he has been practicing and has been cooking a few times and Jeongguk is very proud, however, learning is a long process. Still, he’s cute for offering when he probably knows Jeongguk will offer instead. “Or should we order? I’m not letting you cook again. You cooked last night!” He turns, then, as if he just read Jeongguk’s mind. 

“If you’re cooking, I’m supervising,” Jeongguk laughs. And that means not only watching, but also preparing the right amount of each of the ingredients needed for the chosen recipe—he simply can’t help it. “You know I don’t mind cooking every day for you. What is this adorable stomach aching for, today?” he asks when he brushes his fingers down.

“Well, I’d say you but I already had my dose of that earlier, didn’t I? Although who am I to deny myself of such feast,” he smirks when Jeongguk’s breath hitches. “If you mean food… I want jajjangmyeon. It’s my comfort food, I need to learn how to make it properly!”  

“You’re lucky I bought the ingredients,” he tells when he nuzzles behind Taehyung’s ear. Although, it isn’t that Taehyung is lucky in that sense—Jeongguk actually always made sure to have enough in order to cook Taehyung his favorite meal whenever he’d come home. “Let’s go shower first, and then I’ll teach you.”

“But I kinda wanna keep you in me,” Taehyung whines and Jeongguk thinks he blacks out a bit. He has to press his lips together, close his eyes shut and breathe in at implication.

“Don’t make me hard again,” Jeongguk breathes out as if it physically pains him. And, well, he is trying hard, no pun intended, to keep himself from popping yet another boner. Having Taehyung between his legs, sitting so, so close, doesn’t help, either. “Cooking,” he tries, more so for his own brain to focus, “we should cook.”

“That’s what I thought,” he smiles and kisses his cheek once more before finding his briefs and putting them on again. “We’ll shower after, promise. Maybe you can make sure I don’t miss out much,” he winks and throws Jeongguk his boxers as well. “Meet you in the kitchen, babe.” And he walks out of the room, swaying his hips like he knows Jeongguk is about to lose his mind. 

He’s right. 

God.

Yeah, cooking is definitely going to be a challenge for them both tonight. 

— ✧ —

The day has come and Taehyung feels like he hasn’t slept at all. 

Jeongguk and he went over everything from the trial again before bed, and Namjoon even came for lunch the day before to update them on the whole situation to make sure that Taehyung wasn’t panicking too much, but he was. He still was. 

He’s looking at his reflection in the mirror right now as he buttons up the shirt he’s going to wear. It’s still too hot outside to be wearing a full-on suit, but he needs to look formal. He needs to look serious. He needs to look like someone who is going to win a case and earn the right to be free from his past. 

Even if he feels anything but ready. 

He hasn’t turned on his phone since that morning, and after today, who knows if he will have to throw it in the river and disappear into the woods with Jeongguk. 

He tries to swallow the lump that’s in his throat as he puts the tie around his neck, but his hands are shaking too much to tie it properly and he groans, almost throwing it across the room.

“Let me do it for you,” Jeongguk’s voice is calm, almost too quiet, when he gently guides Taehyung to turn around and face him. He’s ready, too, and although Taehyung knows that he’s just as nervous as he is, Jeongguk doesn’t show it. Or at least, tries to not show it, as a way to reassure Taehyung. “You look good,” he whispers when he arranges the tie properly around Taehyung’s neck, a smile to his lips. Another attempt to calm Taehyung’s erratic heart.

“I feel like I’m gonna throw up. I—Are you sure this is a good idea? I know it’s a bit late to back down, now, but…” he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “ Everyone will be there.” 

Jeongguk brings his hands to Taehyung’s face, cupping it and pressing a soft kiss against his lips. He lingers there for a moment, before he hums. “Namjoon hyung assured you that you do not need to look their way, and he’ll be here to stop them from speaking nonsense. He told you, didn’t he? That he will not allow any of them to tell any lie. I promise you, love,” his thumbs caress Taehyung’s cheeks, waiting for him to meet his eyes before he says, “the ones that will wish to disappear from the public’s eye after the trial will be them. Not us. Not you.”

“ I love you. I’m scared, but I love you,” he admits, holding onto the front of Jeongguk’s jacket for dear life. 

With eyes now filled with worry, Jeongguk wraps Taehyung into a tight, and warm embrace. And they stay like that for a moment, feeling each other’s rapid heartbeat, until Jeongguk’s phone buzzes with a notification, next to them. When they turn to look at the screen, it’s Namjoon, sending a simple “Ready?” message.

And it feels like his heart is ready to run away from him and disappear from sight at a single word. 

Is he? Is he ready for his entire world to change? For his life to never be the same, whatever the outcome? 

Is he ready to see the people who humiliated him both publicly and privately? Ready to hear their voices and their lies? 

Is he ready to make them pay for it? 

“Okay, I’m ready,” he whispers. His voice doesn’t show it, and his trembling hands don’t, either. “Let’s go before I change my mind.” 

And Jeongguk is quick on his feet. He reaches to hold Taehyung’s hand, intertwines their fingers, and guide them outside. There isn’t much Jeongguk can say to calm Taehyung down, and he instead uses his touches, gentle and reassuring, to keep Taehyung from spiraling yet again. 

Taehyung doesn’t let go of his hand even as they get inside the car, even as Jeongguk drives them there. And his nerves only get worse the sooner he gets and the moment he starts seeing vans from broadcasting channels parked outside, reporters ready to give the breaking news. 

“Be careful,” Taehyung speaks, then. Mostly because he knows how careless people can be in order to get an exclusive, and doesn’t want Jeongguk to have to dodge anybody or any car to get through. 

“Namjoon hyung said we could enter, here,” he says at the same time he turns around to park at the back of the building. And there are still a lot of reporters there, but at least it is controlled, and security is already signing for Jeongguk to come. “Wait for me,” Jeongguk is quick to jump out of the car as soon as they’ve arrived, and Taehyung sees him raise a hand to tell the security guard to wait, in order to be the one opening the door on Taehyung’s side and not some stranger.

As soon as he steps out, the flashes go crazy. Taehyung hides himself behind Jeongguk, his chest rising and falling quickly with every breath he takes. Most of the reporters are covered by the car, but it’s still so loud. 

Jeongguk’s hand searches for Taehyung behind him as he walks forward to guide them toward the entry of the building, the rest of the security guards making sure that nobody runs up to Taehyung until they’re inside.

“Hyung!” Jeongguk immediately calls, his hand finding Taehyung’s. And it’s only when Taehyung raises his head that he sees Namjoon walking up to them.

“You two made it here,” Namjoon says with a relieved breath, and when he turns to look at Taehyung, there’s a silent question in his eyes. One that he most probably knows he shouldn’t be asking. He shouldn’t be asking the obvious.

“I’m fine,” he lies. He’s done it so many times in the past it comes out naturally. “We’re not late, are we?” He asks, scared. The last thing he wants is to be late for an occasion such as today’s and start off on the wrong foot. 

“No, you’re right on time. We came a bit earlier with Jimin,” Namjoon explains, and he motions for the two of them to follow him through the corridor. And at each step they take, it feels like the air only grows heavier. “The others aren’t here, yet,” he tells as if he can read Taehyung’s thoughts all over his face. “Do you have any question about the trial, before we go in?” 

“Just—please, don’t let them make me the bad guy.” Taehyung asks, almost desperately. He knows Namjoon is good at this, trusts him wholeheartedly, too, but he’s scared. He can’t not be scared, after everything he’s been through. 

He knows they’re all prepared, Jimin, Yoongi, even Jeongguk, too, in case they’re called to the stand, and they probably will. 

They all know what’s at stake and it means so much to Taehyung that they would ruin their image potentially by defending him, even if he’s the victim here. 

And risking his own career is one thing, but he just doesn’t want his friends to take the fall for him as well. He doesn’t want the world to think that he’s a liar and that he’s doing all of this for money, or something like that. 

He wants to be free, is all.

“You don’t have to worry,” and it is easy to say for Namjoon, but he sounds so confident, so calm that he also makes it easy to trust and listen to him. “With everyone’s help, we got to gather more shreds of evidence than I expected to win this. There’s no loophole,” he assures, and Jeongguk squeezes Taehyung’s hand in an attempt to comfort him, too. 

“Okay,” he nods, squeezing Jeongguk’s hand back. “Let’s go in, then. I’d rather be there before them.” 

Namjoon nods, and pushes the door open for them to enter into the court. 

This is it. 

Jimin comes running to hug Taehyung the second they’re inside. Doesn’t ask how he’s feeling either because he probably can feel how fast his heart is beating against his chest. 

Namjoon guides them to the front of the room where they’ll sit down. There’s quite the crowd sitting behind them, and he’s starting to feel sick again, and it only gets worse when the doors open again and his CEO walks in with his nephew. Lee Junhyeok.

“Fuck,” he looks away straight away, terrified. “H–He’s here, Guk.” And when he shoots another quick look, all the rest walk after them, like a never-ending nightmare. 

And what’s worse are the smiles on their faces, so confident, so terrifying. 

Jeongguk’s thumb runs over his knuckles, but Taehyung barely notices the touch under the panic. He hears Jeongguk’s voice, then, “Breathe in,” waiting for Taehyung to do the same, “breathe out,” again. “Don’t look at them. You have to stay with me, love, you can’t lose your focus. Can you breathe again for me?”

And he tries. He really tries, but he needs to close his eyes, tightening his hold on Jeongguk’s hand. 

“Keep talking to me. Please,” he begs as he feels that not enough air is going into his lungs. He’s hyperventilating.     

And it is not helping to see from the corner of his eyes that one of them tries to get closer to him before the security steps in, a few meters from Jeongguk and him, and urges them to go back to their seat. 

“We’re here with you,” Jeongguk tries, he does try to reassure but it doesn’t seem to help. “It’s going to be over soon, please, keep looking at me. Keep following my breathing. In and out. Don’t let them get to you, not now.” 

Thing is, Taehyung doesn’t have the time to do anything else before the sound of the gavel knocking against the sound block echoes loudly, violently, into the court. Into his ears.

The trial has started.

— ♤ —

“The verdict is in,” the judge announces after coming back from her deliverance period. 

The whole room holds its breath. 

Jeongguk’s heart is thumping loudly into his ears. His hand is still being crushed by Taehyung’s trembling fingers, but he does not pay attention to it. The silence that follows the judge’s words is terribly suffocating. From where he sits, shoulder and arm glued to Taehyung’s, he can hear his rapid and ragged breathing, as if he’s been running miles and miles an hour. Which is not so shocking when one replays the exchanges of today’s trial.

Jeongguk had tried to keep Taehyung grounded, to keep him from falling into a panicked state that would make him lose control over his own self, his own ability to speak, but it was hard. It got harder when they called the opponent to the bar, when each one of them tried to twist the truth.

It had started with the CEO. A disgusting smirk on his smug face when he walked up, and he seemed to trust his lawyer a bit too much. What he didn’t know, though, was that Namjoon had already planned and foreshadowed all the pieces of “evidence” they’d use against Taehyung. He counterattacked every single one of those. Every single picture that they used as “evidence,” once again, to prove that Taehyung had been inflicting those bruises himself. 

Namjoon had stayed calm during the entire trial where he kept sharing every piece of document he had in his possession, and invited Jimin, Yoongi, and later the doctor who had treated Taehyung, to share their own version of the facts. 

And while Taehyung kept having a hard time breathing, a hard time calming down, Namjoon didn’t even budge once. Not even when those people tried to switch up their narrative once again and accuse Jeongguk of being the one behind the abuse. Although Namjoon did ever so slightly raise his eyebrows at that—probably expecting it to some extent, but not really believing that they’d stoop so low. 

Thankfully, the hesitation and the lack of coherence between every testimony from the opposite party worked in Namjoon’s favor; and Jeongguk noticed it the moment he saw a very subtle smile on Namjoon’s lips. Barely visible, and barely lasting a fraction of a second, but Jeongguk noticed it. 

Namjoon already knew, at that moment, what the verdict would be. 

“We got this,” Jeongguk murmurs quietly, bringing his other hand to Taehyung’s thigh to caress him.

The judge sweeps the court with her eyes, and reaches for the gavel.

The air gets heavier by the second, and Jeongguk fears that his heart jumps out of his throat before the judge speaks. 

And when she does, it is like the painful rope around their chest only tightens.

“Lee Junhyeok,” the gavel knocks against the sound block, “declared guilty of perjury, physical assault, sexual assault, blackmail, bribery, and convicted to twenty years.” 

Jeongguk’s jaw drops, but no sound comes out. The rest of the public doesn’t say a word either, although loud gasps are heard, and Jeongguk believes he hears curses, too, but the hand raised above the judge’s shoulder tells everyone to keep silent until she’s done enumerating every single one. And every single crime they’re convicted to.

Yang Hunho

Mang Leehyuk

Kim Arin

Nam Harim

Park Moonseok

Yoo Seodam

Ro Gyubin

All the names are here. And the list of crimes keeps growing, and growing, until the last one is presented. The CEO himself. 

And just like Namjoon had said, 

“Abuse of power, privacy breach, blackmail, breach of health and safety law, sexual assault, bribery,” the judge resumes saying, sharp eyes directed at the CEO. “You’re urged to step down from your position as the head of HYBE, and are convicted to thirty years.”

The sob that Taehyung lets out brings Jeongguk back to the room, which has now exploded in a mix of claps and screams.

“The victim’s contract gets terminated, effective immediately. Case closed.” And she hits the gavel one last time before she gets ready to leave the room, not even bulging in her decision. 

Jeongguk’s eyes brim with tears, and he immediately turns to pull Taehyung into his arms, to pull him close, so close that the embrace almost hurts. “We did it,” he manages to breathe out in relief, as if the dangerously heavy weigh pressing down on his chest has finally been lifted. “You’re free,” and it comes out so brittle with the overwhelming emotions cursing through him. 

But Taehyung can’t speak, he just cries in Jeongguk’s arms as everything sinks in. He’s still shaking in his arms. 

“I love you,” Jeongguk keeps blurting out, although his voice starts to falter as the sobs catch in his throat, so sudden and violent that he misses a few breaths before he repeats intensely, “I love you so much.”

It’s over. 

It’s finally over.

Taehyung is free.

— ✧ —

The victim’s contract gets terminated, effective immediately. Case closed.

Taehyung thinks those words will echo in the back of his mind forever. He thinks he will replay this same exact moment for as long as he lives. The moment when he was finally set free. The moment when justice was finally served upon every single person that harmed him. 

He can’t believe it’s finally over. 

The trial was not easy to sit through, that’s for sure. Taehyung is pretty sure he blacked out for most of it, just letting Namjoon speak on his behalf, scared that he’d do or say the wrong thing and fuck it all up. 

His hands never stopped trembling, his breathing fast-paced, unable to calm down. His hand never let go of Jeongguk’s under the table. 

It was hard to see his friends, his doctor retell the events that happened. It was hard to hear the diagnosis again. But it was even harder to see them all take the stand and try to twist the truth like Taehyung knew they would, because that’s all they’ve always done. 

He almost let them get to him when Gyubin had the audacity to try and pin everything on Jeongguk. He was not going to allow that. However, before he could jump out and defend him, Namjoon stood up and said “ Objection! Speculation.” Which was allowed by the judge. Most of the lies they made up, Namjoon shut down immediately. 

When the verdict was in, Taehyung felt like he was going to faint. He couldn’t breathe, and he was pretty sure that he was cutting Jeongguk’s hand circulation from how tight he was clutching him.

But they were all found guilty. 

Twenty years. Fifteen years. Fifteen years. Fifteen years. Fifteen years. Ten years. Fifteen years. And, when it got to Gyubin’s time twenty-five for the same charges as most of them plus attempted murder. 

The sentences for the people at the company were smaller, since all they did was not do anything most of the time. Until it got to the CEO. 

Thirty years. 

Taehyung sobbed in shock. And everything after that became a blur. He was suddenly in Jeongguk’s arms, hugging him so tightly, with him whispering I love you while Taehyung tried to accept what just happened. 

But, as Namjoon, Jimin, Yoongi, came to congratulate him and hug him, he was still so out of it that all he could do was cry. 

The weight that had been pressing down on his chest had finally been lifted. And he could finally breathe. 

“Let’s go out and celebrate!” Jimin suggested, hugging Namjoon now. Taehyung smiled as he looked at them. He was pretty sure his best friend was seconds away from kissing him in front of everyone. 

In fact, Taehyung wanted to do just that with Jeongguk as well. He didn’t care anymore. Nothing mattered anymore because he was free. Free to do as he wanted with his life. And the thing he wanted the most was right there with him. 

“I need to go out and talk to the reporters outside first,” Namjoon announced, probably understanding that Taehyung himself could not do that. 

“We’ll get going first, I think Taehyungie here still needs a few minutes,” Yoongi said, and they all seemed to agree, and they all left, leaving him alone with Jeongguk in the room that was now empty after they removed every single one of the accused.

But they’ve been here for Taehyung doesn’t know how long, and he still can’t speak, still can’t stop shaking, still can’t stop crying. 

And Jeongguk hasn’t stopped holding him, hasn’t said a word, allowing him the time he needs to recover from how intense this was. 

And, to both of their surprises, it’s Taehyung that speaks first. 

“Thank you,” he whispers, finding his eyes. He feels like he has no more tears to cry at this point, but when Jeongguk’s eyes find his, they well up again. Overwhelmed with the love he has for this man who went out of his way to make sure that Taehyung was avenged. That he never had to go through something like that ever again. To protect him. 

Jeongguk shakes his head as if to tell that he shouldn’t thank him. He brings one of his hands to Taehyung’s face, drying the tears along his jaw with the pad of his fingers, and breathes out in relief, with a smile full of love. “I’m so proud of you,” he leans in to press their foreheads together, thumb caressing Taehyung’s cheek, “you’re finally free,” he repeats as if he needs to voice it out once more for the reality to sink in.

“I’m—” he tries to say it, but it still hasn’t sunk in yet. “ free.” And he feels such an overwhelming need to press his lips to Jeongguk’s then, that he does. He doesn’t care that they’re in public, that there might be cameras everywhere, that someone could walk in every second and see them. 

He doesn’t care. He loves him. He doesn’t want to hide that anymore. 

“I love you,” that one is easy to say. He says it like an oath, the same way he swore to be truthful in his testimonies when the trial started. “I love you, so much.” 

And Jeongguk responds to the kiss with the same passion, while he brings Taehyung even closer—as if that was possible— and breathes out a barely audible laugh against his lips in relief. As if he needed this, too. The touches of Taehyung’s lips against his, the proximity. “We don’t have to hide anymore,” he says in a voice so brittle that Taehyung believes he’s trying hard not to cry again.

“Never again,” Taehyung smiles and hugs him again, breathing him in, finally. “If I wasn’t terrified about my mother disowning me for not inviting her, I’d marry you right now since we’re already in court,” he chuckles in his arms. He doesn’t even worry about sounding crazy, because he means every word. 

He’s lived life without Jeongguk for most of his life, but now that he has him, he doesn’t even want to think about living without him. 

They’re in this together.

“Let’s join everyone and celebrate your freedom,” he tells with a smile, and leans in one last time to press another kiss to Taehyung’s lips as if he, also, wants to make sure that this is reality.

And, when he manages to stand up, his legs don’t shake anymore. But, as if to make sure, Jeongguk still holds him as they walk out of the room.

“To justice!” Taehyung shouts, raising his glass, ready to toast with the rest of them. He’s already had a few drinks, but he deserves them. 

They decided to come to Jeongguk’s mom’s restaurant, and she closed it all so that they can be alone for the night. She even left after preparing the food, trusting her son to close after they leave. 

Everyone joins in excitedly, the glasses clinking as they cheer, laughter and smiles to their faces.

“Another easy win for attorney Kim, right?” Jeongguk exclaims after downing his drink with a scrunched nose, playfully slapping Namjoon’s shoulder.

“It is the only case I couldn’t lose,” Namjoon responds with a smile, the first glass still in his hand—he’s definitely the most reasonable of them all.

“I knew you’d be the best for this! You’re so cool, hyung!” Jeongguk adds excitedly, reaching for the bottle to pour everyone another drink. “Even the defendants’ lawyer was sweating every time you spoke!”

“You looked so hot, hyung,” Jimin admits, definitely tipsy already, almost thrown over Namjoon’s body entirely. “I might have to go to every single one of your trials from now on.”

“Come on, Jimin, don’t embarrass yourself,” Yoongi, poor man, who doesn’t know anything about these two, advises. 

But Namjoon only chuckles at that, endeared, and takes the full glass from Jimin’s hand to keep him from drinking any more right now, at least. He leans in to whisper something in Jimin’s ear before the latter could complain about it, and it seems that whatever he says makes the younger nod and let him keep his drink.

“Ah, these lovebirds!” Jeongguk sighs dramatically, as if he hasn’t reached to intertwine his fingers with Taehyung’s, and isn’t glued to him just the same.  

“Yah, you’re making me feel very lonely over here,” Yoongi chuckles and drinks his whisky. 

“You should introduce him to your artsy friend, Guk, maybe that way he’ll be less grumpy,” Jimin chuckles and earns a kick from Yoongi. 

Taehyung just laughs, carefree and… happy. 

“I love you guys so much, thank you,” and he feels emotional again. 

“Here comes the emo drinker…” Jimin teases him and pours him another drink. “Good thing today your boyfriend is already here to get your ass home.” 

“I actually think you should order a taxi, Jeongguk. I wouldn’t want to have to get you two out of a drinking-and-driving scandal when we just won this,” Namjoon points out. 

“Don’t worry, I will do that, hyung. Wouldn’t want us to marry in prison, right?” Jeongguk turns toward Taehyung, a wide smile to his lips when he mentions Taehyung’s glass, a silent request that Taehyung immediately picks up as he raises his arm and crosses it with Jeongguk’s to intertwine them at the elbows and down their drinks simultaneously. Once the empty glasses are back on the table, Jeongguk leans in for a kiss under Jimin’s loud cheer and Namjoon’s and Yoongi’s amused sighs. 

“One is an emotional drinker, and the other is an overly clingy one,” Namjoon comments while he watches Jeongguk press dozens of kisses all over Taehyung’s face as if he forgot about anyone other than his boyfriend. But Taehyung is not one to complain, he just giggles and lets Jeongguk continue, eventually pulling from him to kiss his lips. And maybe they shouldn’t be making out like this in front of their friends, but oh, well. They knew what they signed up for.

Yoongi is the first one to leave since he has work in the morning, he says. He also tells Taehyung to drop by his company whenever he wants to finalize the terms of his new contract. And just the idea of it makes him giddy again. 

And, eventually, Namjoon takes pity on Jimin enough to pick him up and take him home. Taehyung catches them kissing right outside and shakes his head, amused at how they’re still trying to hide around. It’s cute. 

Jeongguk’s head is in his lap, Taehyung running his fingers through his hair and giving him funny hairstyles as he lays there, eyes closed and a smile on his lips. 

Taehyung takes his phone out, then, and turns it on after days. Of course, he expects the flood of messages and notifications, but he doesn’t even check those from the people who he just left behind today. He sees texts from his siblings, calls from his parents which he will return, too. 

And he goes on socials to see what people are saying and he almost cries again seeing his fans’ reaction to the whole thing. He’s trending worldwide, and, although there are still negative comments, most of them are supportive. 

He decided to go on his Instagram and post something. Namjoon did not tell him not to, and he feels like he needs to. He didn’t give a statement or anything when the news broke out, either, so now, he can. 

Before he does that, though, he scrolls through his page and smiles when he sees one of the last pictures he posted: the boyfriend pics Jeongguk took on their first date. He loves those. He loves him.

He wonders what the picture he posts should be, but he ends up posting another one that Jeongguk took that day, with him and the sunset behind him, the whole city at his feet, ready for him to take whichever road he wants to.

And, with his brain half buzzed from the drinks, he starts writing. 

‘Today marks the end of a big chapter of my life and the start of another. I will not say that I am happy because I am sure that all the bad memories I hold will still remain with me for a long time, but what I can confidently say is that I am relieved. Relieved that I will not have to deal with that again but, mostly, that nobody else will go through what I did. It’s a scary system where we feel powerless, and I have felt like that for so long that I even forgot who I was or why I was making music in the first place. But all of that is over, and although my ghosts will stay with me still, at least they won’t be able to touch me anymore. Thank you to everyone who showed their support and thank you for believing in me. I think that what I did was the easiest part, since justice served itself today. I hope you guys are ready for what’s to come, because I surely am. 

Love,

Kim Taehyung.’

He reads it a few times before he posts it, and the second he does, Jeongguk whines in his lap, probably annoyed at the fact that his hair has stopped being played with. 

“Should we head home, baby?” Taehyung bends down and presses a kiss on his forehead, another on his nose before he finds his lips again.

Jeongguk hums at that, and reaches to cup Taehyung’s face to keep him here, kissing him just a little more. “We just need to clean, first,” he sighs, finally opening his eyes and lifting himself up a little to notice the multiple empty bottles of soju they all drank today. And, before they get to work, Jeongguk pulls Taehyung in by the shirt to capture his lips yet again. 

And he keeps doing so, again and again as they try, clumsily, to take all the bottles out. It takes them a long time, but they don’t even realize it, too busy smiling against each other’s lips.

Just like Namjoon had advised, Jeongguk calls a taxi once he closes the restaurant. And, just like he’s said, too, Jeongguk can’t keep his hands off Taehyung until they arrive home.

And even when they’re there, he uses them to remove Taehyung’s blazer and throws in on the floor, pulling him in from his tie to kiss his lips again, hungrily. 

Taehyung’s hands find the buttons of his shirt and starts unbuttoning it again, and the sight of Jeongguk with his shirt open and his tie and blazer on is… quite something. 

“Fuck, you’re so hot it’s unfair,” Taehyung groans before he pulls him back in, open mouthed kissing him as his hands roam through his body and find the belt holding his pants up. “I want you in my mouth so bad,” he admits and something else escapes Taehyung’s lips without him being able to stop it, “hyung.”

“Fuck,” Jeongguk immediately curses at that, his hips bucking into Taehyung’s hands, the bulge in his pants telling of the effect that whispered hyung had on him. “Call me that again,” he asks, hands trailing down to open Taehyung’s shirt too and take it off of him completely, too desperate to feel the warmth of his body against his.

And Taehyung smirks at his reaction, leaning forward even more and moans in his ear “hyung.”

And Jeongguk completely loses it. He curses under his breath once again, and slips his hands under Taehyung’s thighs to lift him suddenly and walk them into the bedroom, and into the bed where he lies Taehyung down. He takes off his own clothes, almost stumbling on his own pants when he takes it off, only keeping his already soaked underwear when he climbs on top of Taehyung and drags his tongue down his neck. “You’re making me insane.”

“I merely said a word,” Taehyung smirks, knowing full well what he is doing and he rolls his hips and moans, again. “Fuck my throat, hyung.” He whispers, then. “I can take it, promise”

Jeongguk’s breath hitches, his chest spasming as the request that seems to make his cock twitch in his underwear, his body flushed all over. “Fuck, alright,” the words stumble from his lips, his mind probably hazy from the alcohol, as he moves back to get rid of his boxers. “Come here,” he reaches for the back of Taehyung’s head, guiding him into lifting his upper body as to get into a more comfortable position and avoid hurting himself. And when he straddles him, legs on each side of Taehyung’s chest, he has to take a moment to breathe in as he stares into Taehyung’s eyes, his cock hard in his hand. “You’re so fucking gorgeous,” and he’s so honest, that he seems that he’s starting to lose himself at the sight of Taehyung under him like that, disheveled and flushed just like him.

“And I’m all yours,” he smirks, opening his mouth and letting his tongue peak out. He wants him so bad. 

Jeongguk traps his lip between his teeth, a hand behind Taehyung’s head, and another guiding himself, wrapped around the base. Although he seems to ache for the warmth of Taehyung’s mouth—he sees it, knows those intense and deep eyes devouring him—he starts to tease, and brush the tip of his cock across Taehyung’s lips, and against his tongue, too. That is, until he slowly guides himself deeper, a moan immediately escaping his own lips at the feeling. “Your mouth—I’m not gonna last long, cub,” he breathes out with his mouth hanging open at the sight of Taehyung taking him so obscenely. 

“sfine,” Taehyung manages to mutter around Jeongguk’s cock, sucking right after and relaxing his jaw enough to take all of him as he bucks his hips a bit at the same time, growing harder from how good Jeongguk feels in his mouth. 

Jeongguk moves his hips tentatively, very slow thrusts at first, his thighs shaking the moment Taehyung’s tongue works around him at each drag. It’s only after he hits the back of Taehyung’s throat with a loud groan, buried deep inside, that he picks up a faster pace, keeping Taehyung’s head still and fucking into his mouth just like he’d requested. 

And all Taehyung can do is moan every time he hits the back of his throat, hands on Jeongguk’s hips helping him pick up a pace. His eyes are starting to water and his jaw aches a bit, but it’s fine, it’s worth it. Taehyung’s dirty brain thinks that he would love to add all the pretty sounds Jeongguk is making to one of his songs and loop it forever. 

“Baby,” Jeongguk breathes out with a shaky voice, his pace starting to get erratic, sloppy, as he’s so close to his climax, “can I come—inside?” His fingers start to run through Taehyung’s hair to have something to grip, although he isn’t pulling, his hips still rolling, his thrusts less deep but faster, desperate for a release. And Taehyung taps his thigh once, which is their signal for yes and Taehyung gets ready to swallow it all. Jeongguk has to close his eyes when he tips over the edge, his hips bucking one last time with a loud and long moan as he spills inside, both of his hands now into Taehyung’s hair. “Fuck, you feel so good,” he manages to let out in a shaky voice, his thighs quivering uncontrollably when he tries to roll his hips to draw himself back. “Your mouth—god.”

And Taehyung hums, letting him draw back entirely and licks his lips to gather any drop he might have missed with every thrust Jeongguk gave and smiles.

“Yummy,” he lets out and it’s only then that he realizes that he also came all over himself at the same time as Jeongguk did. He was so focused on swallowing him that his moans got drowned by his load, but it felt so good . “You’re a fucking blessing, baby,” Taehyung admits and sits himself up enough to find his lips again in a lewd kiss that’s mostly tongue and messy. His throat might be ruined tomorrow but, who cares? 

Jeongguk curses into his mouth, tasting himself eagerly. He trails one hand down to reach between Taehyung’s legs, a slight pressure against his sensitive crotch as he smiles. “Came from your mouth being fucked alone?” Jeongguk lets out a faint laugh, tongue finding Taehyung’s again into a wet and passionate kiss. “Think you can come from me eating you out, too?” and it is asked almost as a challenge. And perhaps it is the alcohol, perhaps it is something else—but his spent cock is already twitching. Aching for more. 

Taehyung didn’t lie, Jeongguk’s high energy and sex drive is hard to keep up with, sometimes.

“Why don’t we find out?” Taehyung smirks and opens his legs further, biting his lips at the sight of Jeongguk in front of him. If he looks like a mess, he doesn’t even want to imagine how Taehyung’s lips look, now. 

Jeongguk immediately draws himself back enough to be able to get rid of all the piece of clothes preventing him from feeling the warmth of Taehyung’s skin under his touches, under his lips. He drags his tongue from Taehyung’s chest down, pressing open mouthed kisses there as he shifts back enough to be able to comfortably get his head between Taehyung’s legs. “With or without my fingers?” he asks with a smirk, gently biting on Taehyung’s thigh and staring at him from where he lies.

“With,” Taehyung moans, arching his back a little expectantly. “Open me up and fill me up later,” and he almost drops the hyung again, but doesn’t think Jeongguk would survive it. Or himself, for that matter. 

Still, Jeongguk curses at that, most probably already hard again at those words, and slides his hand up to spread Taehyung’s cheeks in front of him. He then leans in, drags his tongue along the entrance, before he gathers spit into his mouth that he lets dribble down and right into Taehyung’s hole where he slid his thumb so easily. “You open up so well for me,” he rasps when he leans forward to finally push his tongue alongside his digit.

“What can I say? I’m eag– ah,” Jeongguk shuts his bratty mouth with a single flick of his tongue. And everything seems to feel extra good tonight. Whether it’s from the alcohol or the euphoria from today, he doesn’t know. But every brush of Jeongguk’s tongue or fingers against his walls feels like heaven on Earth. 

And although he sees Jeongguk probably aching and desperate to be inside him, Jeongguk keeps eagerly working his tongue and fingers inside Taehyung, spit mixed into it and making the most obscene wet sounds that echo into the bedroom. He hums the moment Taehyung’s thighs start to quiver around his head, the vibration intense inside him. And it’s that that moment that Jeongguk opens his eyes, intense and deep, to look at Taehyung trembling under him, his fingers thrusting deeper to find that sweet bundle of nerves.

“Fuck me, now,” Taehyung moans so loud he thinks the neighbors might’ve heard him. Good thing he’s planning on asking Jeongguk to move in with him soon, anyway. He’s desperate and not embarrassed to show it. And he might not last at all. 

Jeongguk is quick to move, as if he was waiting for Taehyung to say that. He licks his own lips, not even bothered by the mess on his chin from cum and spit mixed all together, and quickly positions himself between Taehyung’s legs. But before he does anything more than slapping his own cock against Taehyung’s asscheeks, Jeongguk stops, breathes in rapidly and asks, eyes locked with Taehyung’s, “Can you get on all fours? I wanna feel you deeper.” Taehyung gasps at the unexpected request and sits up first and kisses him hard, leaving them both breathless. 

“Anything for you, darling,” he whispers, biting Jeongguk’s lower lip and pulling from it before he does as he’s told and gets on all fours on his bed, biting his own lip as he anticipates Jeongguk’s touch on him. 

And it seems to take ages, or at least, it feels like forever to him.

There’s a hand trailing down his back, fingers brushing his spine and making him arch a little more before it stops by his waist, squeezing. He finally feels the tip, and Jeongguk doesn’t wait any more time to roll his hips and sink to the hilt in one swift motion, panting into Taehyung’s ear. “Still feels tight, and warm around me,” Jeongguk whispers, and his hips snap forward as he starts a pace that is all but slow. He doesn’t seem to have any more patience to tease, and his mouth is everywhere into the nape of Taehyung’s neck, kissing, biting, sucking, while the obscene sound of skin slapping against skin fill the room.

All the sounds falling past Taehyung’s lips are nothing but a string of moans and incoherent words, but it feels so good he feels he might pass out. He’s trying hard to stay in that position, but his arms soon start to give out on him, making him arch his body even more as he tightens his grasp on the sheets. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, baby,” Taehyung tries to warn him, tries to bite the pillow or something to keep himself quiet, but he can’t. He screams and comes again, and this time it feels like a lightning bolt just hit him, but he doesn’t stop Jeongguk as he keeps pouncing into him. “F–Fill me h—ng,” he manages to whisper, cloud nine feeling far away from how high he is now. 

Jeongguk follows close behind, his hips stuttering but his thrusts still as erratic and sharp, fucking Taehyung into oversensitivity as his chest, heaving, presses against Taehyung’s back. He has to press a hand against the mattress, next to Taehyung’s head, to not let his body crush him when he comes a lot inside, his moans loud into Taehyung’s eardrums. “You’re so good,” is the first thing Jeongguk rasps when he rides out his orgasm too, hips still rolling ever so faintly and mouth busy against Taehyung’s neck. “Feel so good around me,” he continues, this time trailing the pad of his fingers along Taehyung’s curves, “so beautiful and pretty.”

“I love you,” Taehyung replies back, a moan as he reaches for his hand and intertwines it where it’s next to his head. “Fuck, darling—” he groans as he takes it, as his own body keeps spasming, shivers down his spine everywhere Jeongguk kisses him. “I love you.”

Jeongguk slowly pulls out, his cum dribbling down Taehyung’s thigh, and he brings a hand under Taehyung’s chin to tilt his head while he leans in to kiss him messily, passionately. “I love you,” he responds against his lips, while his fingers keep gently caressing Taehyung’s skin the way he knows brings him comfort after sex.

And all he can do is smile as he slowly gets pulled down by sleep, the exhaustion, physical and emotional from today falling over him like a weighted blanket. 

The last thing Taehyung feels are Jeongguk’s lips against his, and, honestly, he doesn’t need anything else. 

Chapter Text

It was a weird feeling, waking up knowing that his entire life had changed in a matter of seconds. Knowing that the nightmares he’d grown so used to for years were over. Knowing that it was now time to start over, to rip out and burn all the pages of his past life and welcome a blank page, ready to be inked with this new chapter. A chapter where Taehyung was able to write everything himself. 

However, it was not a weird feeling to wake up in Jeongguk’s arms, with a slight ache in his lower back and a bit of a pounding in his head after their adventures the night before. He smiles when he remembers. It was a good celebration. The celebration they deserved. 

Taehyung wants to get out of bed and check the damage, check the post he made last night to see how the world reacted to it, but the safety of Jeongguk’s arms is too inviting to refuse, so he doesn’t move. 

Instead, he turns around in his arms slowly and brushes his nose against his skin. It’s rare that Taehyung wakes up before him, Jeongguk being a much lighter sleeper than he is, so he takes the moment to appreciate his sleepy face, the slight frown when he feels Taehyung rustling by his side. The way his eyelashes flutter, the way they brush against his cheek. His lips slightly parted pout slightly, then. 

They’re still naked under the sheets, skin hot and aching to be touched again. 

Taehyung can’t keep the smile from spreading across his face when he remembers that yesterday wasn’t a dream, that it happened, that it’s all over and that he is… free. 

He also can’t keep himself from waking Jeongguk up with kisses, because he’s just so happy, so grateful, so elated by the fact that he’s right here, right now, with him, that he needs to share the emotion with him. 

“Mmh,” Jeongguk hums contentedly when he wakes up with a smile on his lips, raising the arm that was wrapped around Taehyung’s waist to bring him even closer, pulling him until he’s lying on top of Jeongguk. “How lucky I am to wake up with your kisses,” he murmurs drowsily. His eyes flutter open to meet Taehyung’s, his smile growing wider before he pulls Taehyung in for a kiss. “How are you feeling, love?”

And there’s just one adjective Taehyung feels like he can use right now. 

“Free,” he whispers against his lips before he kisses him again. “Happy, relieved, head-over-heels-in-love with you…” he adds after that. Fine, maybe there were more adjectives. 

Jeongguk smiles against his lips, the pad of his fingers trailing up and down Taehyung’s bare back. “And to think that you’re starting this new chapter of your life naked in my arms,” he breathes out in an amused tone, and adds in between gentle kisses, “I couldn’t dream of a better beginning. Just you and me. Free.”

“I really love you,” Taehyung sighs as if he was desperate for Jeongguk to believe him. As if the younger boy didn’t already. “I know you told me not to thank you but th—” he gets quieted by a kiss. 

“I love you,” Jeongguk says instead, while his hands slide down to cup Taehyung’s asscheeks, gentle fingers digging into the skin as to bring their hips flush together. “You did it all,” a murmur against Taehyung’s lips, “you survived and you fought.”

“I did, huh? Guess I’m stronger than I thought,” he smiles and nuzzles his nose against Jeongguk’s. “And now, I’m gonna be releasing my music and kissing my boyfriend whenever I want! Which reminds me—you’re officially fired, babe.” 

The smile on Jeongguk’s face is replaced by an overly-dramatic expression, mouth hanging open in false shock. “How will I get my boyfriend flowers every week if I am fired?” 

“Your boyfriend will get you flowers instead,” he bends down and kisses him. “You can just take pretty pictures of me as payment. My socials are going to be needing lots of pictures to divert the attention from the fact that the entire nation now knows that I was… well, you know,” he bites his lip, then. He really doesn’t want to think about that, but he thinks that, no matter how much time goes by, it will always be there at the back of his mind. 

“And you don’t have to worry about that. After all, you’re my muse,” Jeongguk tells, his eyes shining with love. With a hand back into Taehyung’s hair, he brings him down for another kiss before he whispers, “By the way, I took a photograph when I woke up earlier. I’ve never seen you sleeping so soundly and at peace,” he smiles, genuine relief in his gaze. “Wanna see?”

“You woke up before me?” Taehyung gasps, then. Almost betrayed. And here he thought he’d been the first one to wake up that morning. “Did you take a nude of me, babe? That’s kinky,” he chuckles, but he’s already sitting up, ready for Jeongguk to show him. 

With an amused scoff, Jeongguk shifts to reach for the camera he left on the nightstand, and turns it on to find the picture. “I usually take a few ones before I get the perfect photograph, but with you it’s always so easy,” he comments with a loving smile as he shows the picture. 

And it indeed depicts a sleeping Taehyung, the sheets draped over him like they have been painted for this, covering most part of his body except for his arm, and a brief part of his neck. The morning light had probably started to peek through the blinds as it kisses his honey skin, giving it a dreamy look, and it is almost as if Taehyung could see himself through Jeongguk’s eyes. His sleeping lover. The hickey on his collarbones isn’t visible, but if Jeongguk had taken the picture slightly higher it would have shown it, and the simple thought of it makes him shiver. His hair, too, is messy, but a beautiful kind of messy—it rests on the cushion he’s half-hugging with one hand and hides his eyes, although one can make out his eyelashes. And despite the fact that the moment has been frozen by the lens, the scenery looks warm and bittersweet at once. Silent, and loud at the same time.

“Guk,” he’s stunned as he looks at the picture. It’s perfect. Everything about it. He turns around and presses Jeongguk’s cheeks together so that his lips pluck out and he kisses him one, two, three, four, five times. Maybe it’s six. Maybe he’s lost count. “Can I—”

“Whatever it is, you know I’ll say yes,” Jeongguk chuckles happily at the kisses.

“I want this to be the cover of my album,” Taehyung blurts out then. He hasn’t even consulted Yoongi, doesn’t know if it’s too much, if he will be okay with it or if Jeongguk will even let him, but the second he saw it, he knew. That was it. “Can I?”

At first, Jeongguk stares with round, doe-eyes, blinking. And Taehyung isn’t sure if it’s because the question surprises him, or if he doesn’t dare refusing, but then Jeongguk is biting down a smile, almost sheepish when says, “I didn’t think you’d ever choose one of my photographs for such a personal work of yours. I’d be honored, love.”

“What’s more personal than the one who has my heart? You worked with me on this since the beginning, of course I’d want to have a piece of you in it, too,” Taehyung smiles. “I just need Yoongi hyung’s permission but something tells me he’ll just roll his eyes and say whatever,” he chuckles. “Also, I just remembered, we need to check the behind the scenes footage you filmed.”

“Oh!” Jeongguk nods and puts the camera back on the nightstand. “I have that one on my laptop, but it’s a raw footage. I think I filmed a bit too much that day,” he laughs, leaning in to press a kiss to Taehyung’s lips. “Should we watch it now?”

“Like a home movie,” he chuckles. “I’m a bit scared I’ll sound awful, though. We had to do a lot of takes that first day.”

Jeongguk looks at him as if he offended him. “You? Sounding awful?” he scoffs, surprising Taehyung by rolling over and pressing a quick kiss against Taehyung’s neck when he lies back down on the bed. “I’ll show you how mesmerizing you sound,” he tells with confidence, a smile to his lips when he leaves the bed, the sheets dropping and revealing his muscular, naked body. He retrieves the laptop from his drawer, and climbs back next to Taehyung.

“You know, you should be the one to be photographed naked, love. Thank God you decided you’re for my eyes only,” he hugs his back and leaves a kiss on his shoulder as the computer turns on. 

“I’ll gladly take the compliment from the one whose body makes me go insane.” Jeongguk finds the file with multiple videos in it, since he didn’t film everything in one go. It would have been quite a tedious process to go through all of it. He starts the first clip, tilting his head and resting it against Taehyung’s while they watch the very first song being recorded.

“Oh, my God,” he groans and hides his face in Jeongguk’s neck as the video plays. 

“How was that?” The voice of past Taehyung asks after the first song finishes. He remembers this. He wishes Jeongguk had filmed himself as well, because all he can do is listen. He hears him breathe out loudly before his voice is heard. 

“I think I just experienced a new emotion. Hyung, you—” he sounds so out of mind that Taehyung almost coos, “—you sound beautiful. And the words you carefully chose for this song convey such a strong feeling that— I wish this glass wouldn’t separate us, right now. I feel like I should be right next to you,” the Jeongguk in the video chuckles nervously while he feels the Jeongguk in his arms freeze and burn at the same time. It’s quite the contrast.. “What I want to say, is,” and he lowers the camera then and Taehyung can’t even see himself anymore, “I can feel the sincerity behind those words, and how personal and important it is for you to speak about the situation you’re hinting to. Your voice is like no other, hyung.” 

“I couldn’t hear a thing you said, Guk . Press the button !” 

“You did good, hyung. ” He says instead before the video ends

“You said all that?” Taehyung asks, then, as if there wasn’t proof of it right there. His heart is beating so fast he’s scared he’ll die. 

And Jeongguk might be feeling just the same. His face is flushed when he nods and breathes out a shy laugh. “I said all that,” he echoes. “I... forgot that I recorded that. But—as you can see, you did not sound awful. Those emotions I talked about,” he starts, shy smile to his lips, “I think it was just my heart going crazy for you. You can see, and hear that I had already fallen deeply for you.”

“We’re such fools,” he chuckles and hugs him tighter. “I was already writing love songs for you by then, too.”

Jeongguk scoffs at that. “We are. Fools in love.” And he turns his head just enough to find Taehyung’s lips. “That past Jeongguk would have freaked out if he knew he’d end up in your arms like that.”

“Imagine what he’d think if you told him that I ate you out day one,” he giggles on his lips before he kisses him again.

“Oh, his sanity would be endangered,” Jeongguk chuckles, and slips his fingers through Taehyung’s hair softly. “Should we keep watching?”

“Yep, I wanna see what else you said when you thought I wasn’t listening,” and he presses a kiss on his cheek before he presses play on the next video. 

And Jeongguk did not lie when he admitted filming a lot—sometimes there’s nothing, nothing other than Taehyung’s focused face being recorded while he recalls the lyrics before the song even starts. Sometimes it’s a zoom in one of his features. On his moles. On his smile. And even then, Taehyung can already see how love started to fill Jeongguk’s heart, how it helped him to film that raw and real footage of the behind the scenes. And it’s nice. Nice to see that even when Taehyung messes up a few times, Jeongguk is still recording, not even lowering the camera once and keeping the focus on Taehyung’s expression. It is as if he recorded more for himself than to post on a public platform. As if he used that to show every part of Taehyung he fell in love with—his voice, the sound of his laugh, his eye smile, his mimics,... everything is recorded, and although they didn’t confess to each other at that time, this footage feels like Jeongguk’s artistic way of confessing to Taehyung.

And although he thought it wasn’t possible, Taehyung finds himself falling deeper into the abyss that is his love for the man in his arms. 

“It’s perfect, you’re perfect,” he admits, dropping kisses across his skin again. 

Seeing himself through the eyes of a lover is an experience that Taehyung doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to, but he doesn’t mind trying for the rest of his life with him. 

— ♤ —

It’s been three weeks since the trial, three weeks since Taehyung has finally been able to breathe after his contract with the company got terminated. During this time, they’ve both spent a lot of time in each other’s arms as if they needed this. Needed each other for reality to sink in.

Jeongguk also enrolled in the photography classes that the university offers, and he has never been this happy since picking up his passion again. He revived his abandoned Instagram account too, and started posting his work on there with the acronym JK instead of his full name. And although he didn’t show any of his face, some fans recognized him right away, and even started a few harmless rumors. Well, it wasn’t that hard to know who he was, especially when most of his pictures have the same beautiful subject—Taehyung. After all, he’s Jeongguk’s muse, and for him to not photograph Taehyung whether it is homework or private work, is impossible. Every moment is worth being captured by the lens. Every laugh, every smile. 

to : my baby cub ♡ — 6:23pm
the professor really liked those bust portraits of you behind the curtains
if they knew what we did before those
they’d understand why your eyes make it seem like you’re still on cloud nine

He smiles at the messages he sends, slides the phone into the pocket of his pants and raises his head to look at the one waiting for him by the university’s gates. “Hyung,” Jeongguk greets with a smile.

“How did today’s class go?” Hoseok asks as he brings a hand to ruffle Jeongguk’s hair and elicit an amused laugh from him. “Still photographing your boyfriend? You’re not slick, you know. We can recognize him even if you don’t show his full face on your account.” 

Jeongguk beams, happiness and warmth blooming in his chest. “Of course, and I’ll keep photographing him. Isn’t he the best model?” 

“Sure,” Hoseok rolls his eyes with a smile. “Do you have anything to do right now? I was planning on going out with Taemin, remember him? He’s taking figure drawing class at the same time as you do, he should be out in a minute or two. You can join us!”

“I do remember,” Jeongguk nods, “but I have somewhere to go.”

And he doesn’t need to say more for Hoseok to understand, and give him a knowing look. “Alright, have fun with your lover, Jeongguk-ah!” 

With a laugh, Jeongguk waves him goodbye.

to : my baby cub ♡ — 6:23pm
I’m out, now
will be joining you, you’re still at yoongi hyung’s company?

He sends the texts, and hops on his motorbike to join Taehyung at his new company. The thought of it makes Jeongguk smile. 

Finally, a new beginning. 

— ✧ —

Although Taehyung knows deep down that there’s no reason for him to be nervous, he still can’t help to feel like he’s going to throw up as he drives to Yoongi’s company. 

He’s been visiting the building quite often these days ever since the trial, meeting the people he’ll be working with and arranging a whole new studio for himself with Yoongi’s help. 

“You deserve a place that’s yours alone,” he told him. And he got really excited because he’d never had a studio that belonged to him. Back in his old company, he used to call a room his studio, but it wasn’t really. It was just the room he always worked in, but it didn’t belong to him. This one did. 

And Taehyung got pictures adorning the walls and shelves. Pictures taken by Jeongguk, mostly, but some others of Jeongguk, taken by him. 

It felt like a place he would look forward to coming, rather than dread it. 

The worst day had been when Yoongi introduced him to his new security team. More than one, trained and swearing to protect him. Of course, his friend knew the traumas, which is why he went above and beyond to make sure those people were qualified and would be nothing but the best for Taehyung. 

But today… today is finally the day. 

After a few weeks of both Yoongi and Taehyung’s legal team (meaning, Namjoon, which is Taehyung’s official lawyer) going back and forth, Taehyung’s new contract is ready to be signed. And he is ready to sign it and become a part of SG Entertainment, a company that values their artist’s craft over anything else. 

He’s already parked at his spot in the parking lot of the company and is currently gathering the strength he needs to walk in. He wishes Jeongguk would be there with him for moral support, but he’s in class right now. He smiles at the thought. His little college boyfriend, working hard on following his dreams and waking up early and kissing Taehyung goodbye every morning before he leaves. 

He’s so proud of him, so happy for him, so in love. 

He checks his phone and sees that he even made it there early. That used to be rare for him, but that’s another proof that he actually wants to be there. 

And so, he walks out and heads into the building. 

Everyone he runs into greets them happily, since they all know what he’s coming for today. Yoongi told him to meet him at the top floor of the building where the main meeting room is. 

I want it to look fancy, he told him. Taehyung just laughed but went along with it. Who was he to say no to his new boss, even if they’ve been friends for years? Even if he’s held his head back while he threw up when they were trainees and Yoongi got too drunk sometimes? They’ve seen each other at their lowest, which is why Taehyung has no doubt in his mind that Yoongi will take care of him more than anyone ever did. 

“Here he is, our new shining star!” Yoongi greets as soon as the elevator’s doors open, and Taehyung is met with balloons, tables filled with food and champagne. 

“Hyung,” Taehyung laughs, trying not to get emotional. He almost feels like anyone would think this is too much, and maybe Taehyung would’ve thought so as well if he wasn’t used to the complete opposite. If he hadn’t gotten used to indifference and cold-shoulders. “You didn’t need to do all this.” 

“I know. But I’m the boss and nobody can say no to me. Plus, I was sure you’d like the balloons,” he chuckles and Taehyung hugs him when he reaches him. 

“I do, I love them. Thank you,” he whispers. There are more people in the room with them, people he’s met before already. Some of them belong to Taehyung’s new team: managers, producers, security team, staff, etc., and others must be Yoongi’s. 

“Shall we get to it, then?” Yoongi announces and takes out a document. “Your dear friend Namjoon made sure all your requirements were met, but you can take your time reading all of it as many times as you want, Taehyung-ah,” Yoongi smiles as he hands it to him. 

Taehyung would trust Namjoon with his life, but he still reads it again, although he’s read earlier versions of it before. 

And, when he’s done, the whole room seems to hold their breath as he bites his lip and takes out a pen from his suit. A very special pen. 

His father bought it for him before he went to Seoul so that he would look fancy signing documents and autographs when he became a big star. 

Taehyung only ever used it once: to sign his old contract. And now it’s time for its ink to mark his new beginning as well. 

Kim Taehyung, he signs and Champagne pops straight away.

“Welcome to the family, Taehyungie,” Yoongi hugs him again as he puts the contract away and back in his briefcase. “We’ll take care of you, I promise.” 

“I know you will,” Taehyung smiles and drinks from the flute they just handed him, even though Champagne is gross and he hates it. But it’s for a special occasion, so he’ll let it slide. 

Yoongi had been right on doing it up here, because Taehyung can see the entire city at his feet, and he almost feels ready to take over the world by storm, this time, on his own terms. 

His phone rings in his pocket with the only special ringtone he has and he smiles, taking it out to find a string of messages from his one and only. 

from : baby bun ♡ — 6:23 p.m.
the professor really liked those bust portraits of you behind the curtains
if they knew what we did before those
they’d understand why your eyes make it seem like you’re still on cloud nine

I’m out, now
will be joining you, you’re still at yoongi hyung’s company?

He smiles and takes a picture of the view and another one of him with the rest of the people in the background and sends them both to him. 

to : baby bun ♡ — 6:25 p.m.
[image]
[image]
still here!
hurry and you might get some champagne!
(don’t hurry too much tho i know you took the bike today)

“Is Jeonggukie coming?” Yoongi asks from behind him, joining him as they both admire the view. 

“Of course,” Taehyung smiles. 

“Have you told him yet?” And Taehyung turns to look at him. Yoongi’s eyes answer the question on the tip of his tongue before he can ask it. 

“Not yet,” Taehyung bites his lip. “I’ll tell him today. I wanted this to be real, first.” Yoongi nods and takes another sip from his drink. He doesn’t seem to enjoy the taste much either. 

“Shit, I should’ve ordered Bourbon,” And that makes Taehyung laugh. “Well, I will see you around the company, Taehyung-ssi. And, before I forget, here’s your pass,” and he hands him a card with his face and name on it. “We have a meeting tomorrow. If you’re late or come with your clothes all messed up again, I’m removing parking privileges from the contract,” he threatens him and Taehyung laughs.

“It was one time!” He tries defending himself, but knows it’s pointless. 

Yoongi heads out first and soon, people leave Taehyung alone with his balloons, what’s left of the food and the view. 

He decides to take another picture as the sun starts setting and updates his socials, which have been on fire thanks to Jeongguk lately. 

“the sun sets on the past to welcome new beginnings.” 

And he makes sure to add the location of SG Entertainment. The rumors have been circulating for a while, but of course neither he nor Yoongi pronounced on it before it became official. And now it is. 

“Woah, you celebrated without me?” it’s Jeongguk’s voice, his tone hitting at a smile. When Taehyung turns, he sees him enter with his helmet in one hand, and his camera bag in another, before putting both down to poke at one of the balloons that fly in front of his face. “Sorry, I didn’t have time to go home to take a shower, I’m all sweaty,” and he knows that it doesn’t matter, but he still says it as he walks toward Taehyung and pull him into a tight embrace after pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. “So, what are we celebrating?” 

“I just signed a piece of paper, no big deal,” Taehyung chuckles and puts his arms around Jeongguk’s neck, flicking the ponytail he’s got. He always ties his hair up when he drives the bike so that it doesn’t fly to his face, and Taehyung loves it. “I saved you some Champagne, I know you like it more than me,” Taehyung chuckles, then. “How was school, my college boyfriend?” 

Jeongguk hums, sliding his hands down to Taehyung’s waist. “It’s just one class” he tells with a laugh, “but it’s so fun.” His eyes start to shine when he adds, “We’re given the opportunity to work with a lot of big brands. So, your college boyfriend might be getting a high paying job very soon. I’ll buy you flowers, now.” He leans in for another kiss, before he draws his head back with a frown to his face, the sudden change of expression definitely comical. “What do you mean, though, signed a piece of paper? What is it about? What are you hiding from your lover?” and he’s asking that with an amused tone although it seems he’s trying to hide his playful smile. But Taehyung full on laughs, head thrown back and all before he leans in and presses a kiss on his lips, although they’re both smiling so much it’s barely a kiss at all. 

“I’m officially under SG Entertainment,” Taehyung smiles. “Guess we’ll both have high paying jobs, baby.” And there’s something else he needs to say, and he knows it. Something else he needs to ask. “And I… I signed another piece of paper this morning.” Taehyung announces then and, this time, Jeongguk’s frown is real. 

“What is it?” He gently squeezes Taehyung’s waist, as if to reassure that— whatever it is, it’s fine. “Is everything alright?” But Taehyung smiles. 

“You know, ever since you started going to class, I’ve had… a lot of free time,” he starts, biting his lip a bit nervously. “So… I’ve been trying to keep myself busy and I—I found an apartment for us. It’s in a very safe area for me but it’s also closer to the company and college so that you don’t have to wake up that early. Plus, it has great light and a room that I thought we could turn into a photography studio for you! And, they also admit pets, which means we could get the big dog you wanted, and—˝ His lips are suddenly captured by Jeongguk’s, an honest and pure reaction to the news. A good one. 

“I can’t believe you did that,” he tells, when they part, his sparkling eyes into Taehyung’s. Excitement written all over his face, Jeongguk beams. “This is the best news, I—is it for real?” he asks, and Taehyung believes that those eyes might soon shine with a tear or two. He knows how overwhelmed he becomes at such news. “Is it ours? Are we really moving in? You and me?” 

“You and me, if you want,” Taehyung smiles and nods, holding his face close. “Will you move in with me? Will you allow me the privilege of waking up in your arms every day? Will you let me cook even if the food tastes horrible? Will you build a future, a family , with me?”

“Yes,” Jeongguk answers eagerly before he presses a passionate kiss against Taehyung’s lips, repeating, “yes, yes, yes,” and again. Kissing him like it is the first time again, with such passion and vigor that Taehyung almost misses stumbling back before Jeongguk’s arm slides around him to keep him close, with a muffle laugh. “I love you. I love you so much.” 

“And I love you!” Taehyung admits. “That’s what we’re celebrating now,” he chuckles. “Although, maybe you should’ve seen the place before you agreed because, what if I lied? What if it’s horrible or you hate it?” 

“How could I hate it when you are the one who found it? I trust you. I’ve been trusting you to cook for us, haven’t I? Why wouldn’t I trust you on this?” Jeongguk says playfully, pressing a kiss to the tip of Taehyung’s nose. “I cannot wait to move in. I know it’s going to be great. We’ll finally have our own place,” he repeats as if he needs to say it out loud once more to believe it. “No more neighbors' noise complaints of you screaming in the middle of the night?” he smirks.

“Can’t promise that, although I did buy the entire floor just to be sure,” he chuckles. “What I can promise is that we can go right now and see it, if you want.” 

With a hum against Taehyung’s lips, Jeongguk presses one more kiss and nods, “I’d love that.”

“Let’s go home, then,” and his smile is blinding before he kisses his cheeks. “Did you bring my helmet? I can leave my car here if you bring me tomorrow, too.” 

Jeongguk’s face lights up. “Of course, I always have it with me in case my lovely boyfriend calls to pick him up at any time.” He reaches down to hold Taehyung’s hand and mentions the door. “Let’s go,” he tells, although he’s quick to catch one glass of champagne that he drinks because one glass does not hurt. “Let’s keep celebrating at home.” 

And so, they go. 

— ♤ —

The first thing Jeongguk does when he arrives at the apartment, except from dropping all the stuff he was carrying as well as kicking his shoes off, is gasp audibly at how huge it is. It is located, like Taehyung said, in a quiet area where they’d have fewer chances to be recognized as soon as they’d step out of the building, and it has so many rooms that Jeongguk already starts to imagine the kind of space that each of these would potentially become.

The windows, wall-sized, would offer a beautiful south light into the living room that opens on the kitchen, and into the large room that Taehyung mentioned earlier; the one that could become Jeongguk’s photography studio. And he beams at that. It does have the potential for it. It is perfect, even. 

Eyes sparkling, he eagerly discovers every part of the apartment before he tries to tone down his excitement when he comes back to kiss Taehyung passionately, face cupped into his hands. “This is perfect, love. God, how come you did it behind my back?” he asks in an amused tone, overjoyed. “This is the best. You really thought about everything.” 

“Do you really like it?” Taehyung asks as if he was actually scared that he wouldn’t. As if this place isn’t literally everything Jeongguk has dreamed of and more. “I had a bit of help, though. Yoongi hyung helped me with it, but it was really hard! Because I wanted to tell you so bad!”  

“I love it, baby cub,” Jeongguk reassures, and he has the urge to kiss Taehyung again before he turns to look around them again with a beam and eyes sparkling with joy. They have been talking about it for a while, but in all honesty Jeongguk hasn’t had much time to search or even think about finding an apartment so soon. The fact that Taehyung did it for him, did it for them... it makes warmth bloom inside his chest. “I can already see both of our dogs run throughout the apartment,” he chuckles, happy. “We have so much space for everything. To work, to cook,” and he comes to wrap his arms around Taehyung’s waist, murmuring the next words with an amused smile against Taehyung’s lips, “to enjoy ourselves how we want. Where we want.”

“I like the sound of that,” Taehyung hums and smiles before he pulls from his hoodie to pull him even closer. They’re such a contrast right now, Jeongguk wearing comfy clothes for his classes and Taehyung all dressed up, but he loves it. Loves him. “Good thing the place came half-furnished,” he whispers and bites Jeongguk’s lip right after.

Jeongguk hums with a raise of his eyebrows. “Sounds like we’ll have to try out how comfortable the bed and sofas are, tonight.”

“Tonight, huh?” he licks Jeongguk’s bottom lip with a smile on his face. “We are celebrating after all. As long as I make it to my meeting at ten in the morning… we can try them all.” 

“All?” Jeongguk hums, an amused smile to his lip as he starts enumerating, “The bed, the sofas, the shower, the counter, and the balcony?” he breathes out a playful laugh. Not that they’ve ever mentioned exhibitionism—but the implicit pictures he takes of Taehyung aren’t exactly private either. Jeongguk loves to tease him about it, about how he’s the only one seeing that wet and messy side of him, that beautiful and gorgeous side of him. About how he’d love to make an entire, printed collection of artistic, implicit nudes for their eyes only. 

“You really want to give our new neighbors a pretty view, huh? And here I thought you liked having me for your eyes only,” he whispers sensually to him, hands traveling down his body and pressing himself even closer. “I don’t see why not, you’ve been awfully busy with class lately, I missed you.” 

“I missed you too,” Jeongguk murmurs, tilting his head to press his lips against Taehyung’s neck, leaving slow, open-mouthed kisses down. “I forgot I still have an assignment to send before midnight, though,” he sighs, although he still rolls his hips to press his crotch against Taehyung’s. “Would you help me? Model for me?” Taehyung hums again, rollings his hips right back. 

“If my reward is you, how could I ever refuse?” And he kisses him again, harder this time, mouth wide open to allow his tongue to taste Jeongguk again.

Jeongguk smiles into the kiss, hands flying to the jacket of Taehyung’s suit to open it a bit more, before his index finger slides under the collar to loosen Taehyung’s tie. And he whispers when they part with buzzing lips, “Keep the suit on. You look hot.”

“I’m starting to think you’re making these assignments up, but I don’t mind,” Taehyung chuckles and undoes a few buttons from his shirt, too. “Where do you want me, love?” 

With a gentle squeeze down to Taehyung’s waist, Jeongguk mentions the couch. “Lie down,” he instructs with a last kiss to Taehyung’s lips before he parts to retrieve the camera from his bag, “and keep your eyes on me.”

“Like that’s hard,” Taehyung chuckles and he heads to their new couch. He’s pretty sure they’ll change most of the furniture at some point, pick things that feel more like them, so that it feels like home. Jeongguk still remembers when he went into Taehyung’s apartment for the first time and it felt like it was anything but a home.

He takes one picture to check for the settings, until he comes close and raises the camera. But he doesn’t immediately take another shot, and looks at the way Taehyung lies down and arranges the shirt in a way he knows will tease Jeongguk. Looks at how intense Taehyung’s eyes are on him, at how natural it all comes to him—which is to no surprise considering the fact that he’s used to having the cameras on him, but this is different. Jeongguk raises a knee that he presses against the couch, biting on his lower lip as he starts to zoom on Taehyung’s face, on his parted lips, down to his collarbones revealing under the open shirt and disheveled tie. He takes a few photographs of all the parts he wishes he could kiss right now. “You make this so easy for me. You’re so good at it,” he comments through it, tongue pressing against the inside of his cheek.

“What can I say? The cameras love me, and it seems the photographer might, too,” he smirks playfully and arches his back slightly more, biting his lip for show. It drives Jeongguk up the wall a little bit.

“Oh, he does,” Jeongguk confirms, breath hitching at the position Taehyung changes to. He takes a deep breath before he captures another photograph, and climbs on the couch. “You’re perfect,” he says as he presses the shutter, gently moving Taehyung’s legs as to sit in between them. And just like Taehyung loves teasing Jeongguk, the opposite is also true—Jeongguk starts to roll his hips into Taehyung, just a slight suggestive brush, his lens capturing Taehyung’s gorgeous and intense eyes. “Talk to me about your album. About the company. Your future works,” he requests, but his hips don’t stop moving against Taehyung. It is as if he wants to see how long it will take for Taehyung to lose focus on what he’s talking about. 

 “mmkay,” he hums and licks his lips, trying to regain composure as if he didn’t want him to see how affected he is already. “We’re having a meeting tomorrow about the release d–ah,” he moans when one particular roll of Jeongguk’s hips makes him. “Date,” he finishes and thrusts upward to meet him. “But… everything else is ready. The songs, the order, the… fuck, ” his eyes close and he throws back his head a little, exposing his neck even more. “Cover.” 

Jeongguk breathes out heavily at the sight he manages to capture, and he’s thankful to himself for having recently acquired a new lens that allows him to capture all of those details—the drop of sweat dribbling down Taehyung’s temple, the veins protruding down his neck, his hair raising at the pleasure. The last shot, Taehyung’s Adam apple, gets blurred by the movement of Jeongguk’s hand that reaches to apply more pressure to Taehyung’s clothed crotch. “I shouldn’t keep you up too late then, right? I wouldn’t want you to oversleep because we spent the whole night doing it,” he teases, amused.

“Wouldn’t be my first time showing up to work without sleeping, I’m more worried about the fact that I won’t be able to sit ,” he groans and reaches for the tie and pulls from it a little, and takes it to his mouth and bites it, as if he needed something in his mouth. The sound of the shutter goes off one last time before the camera is put in the empty space next to Jeongguk’s legs.

“Should I only use my fingers, then?” Jeongguk suggest with a smile as he reaches to pull the tie from between Taehyung’s teeth and slipping two fingers between his parted lips, while his other hand keeps stroking him through the pants. “I should really make a collection of all these photographs,” he breathes out, taking the time to appreciate, to look, to stare, transfixed, at Taehyung. “Pleasure looks so good on you. If only you’d see yourself.”

“Do it, then,” Taehyung says before he sucks Jeongguk’s fingers into his mouth again and wraps his tongue around them. “I trust you.” 

His fingers press against Taehyung’s tongue, as he bites down on his lower lip. “You’d let me?” he asks in a whisper, and his other hand tugs slightly on the cloth before he zips it open and slide his fingers around Taehyung’s length. “You’d let me show how beautiful you look when I take care of you?” And he just moans as a response, nodding eagerly and biting around Jeongguk’s fingers slightly. Jeongguk smears the precum down Taehyung’s length, makes the slide easier, wetter when he starts stroking at a fast pace. His voice still as calm, although his breathing isn’t as steady, “I’ve never exhibited my collections before. Not officially. If I do, it’ll be about you. About love through my own eyes,” his thumb slides over the slit, continuing although he isn’t sure that Taehyung is even listening to him, “it’ll be another confession from me.” 

Taehyung moans around his digits again and takes his hand up to his wrist to pull him out enough to speak.

“I’ll f— fuck. I’ll do it. Get the camera or I’ll c– ah,” he arches his back, bucking his hips up to match Jeongguk’s pace, and his breathing is heavy already, which Jeongguk recognizes as a sign that he is close. So he slides his wet fingers down before he reaches for the camera, his other hand working faster around Taehyung.

“Come for me, cub.” And he does, painting Jeongguk’s hand and his own clothes white, body spasming under Jeongguk’s body, under his touch, under his gaze, captured by his lense. “Fuck,” Jeongguk curses under his breath, his own cock twitching at the sight under him. He stares after the few shots, lowers the camera just enough to be able to look at Taehyung properly and trails his hand up, his cum-coated thumb brushing Taehyung’s lower lip. “You’re a true work of art.” And he opens his mouth again and wraps his tongue around his thumb, tasting himself and hums. 

“You taste better,” he admits and rolls his hips knowing how affected Jeongguk is already. “Although I might need a reminder.” And his smirk is dangerous, and so are his hands as they travel down Jeongguk’s body to get to his pants and starts pulling them down. Maybe it was a good idea to not wear tight ones today, after all. 

“How do you want me?” Jeongguk smiles at how eager Taehyung is, too, and he can’t help the sight of relief that escapes him the moment his boxers are pulled down, letting his cock slap wetly against his lower stomach. “You’re gonna get hurt if you don’t pull yourself up a little,” he tells, shifting on his knees to straddle Taehyung, this time.

“You’re the director today, love. I’ll just do and let you do whatever you want tonight,” Taehyung announces, his hands giving Jeongguk’s cock a few strokes. 

Chest spasming and hips bucking a little into Taehyung’s hands, Jeongguk presses his tongue against the inside of his cheek and guides Taehyung up a little bit against the armrest. He then brings his fingers through Taehyung’s hair, gentle touches when he asks, “Can I fuck your mouth?” 

But Taehyung just opens his mouth and lets his tongue out, ready for him. And it’s so hot Jeongguk fears he might pass out right there. He allows himself to take a picture there, for his own eyes, and slowly moves to have his legs on each side of Taehyung’s chest. His free hand wrapped around the base, he traces Taehyung’s lips with the tip, gathering the spit there before he slides past those already red and slightly swollen lips. And the sight under him makes him shiver in pleasure.

“You can use your tongue,” he instructs, rolling his hips ever so slightly, tentatively, “I’ll go slow,” although he believes it’s going to be hard with how wet and warm Taehyung’s mouth feels around him. As a response, Taehyung twirls his tongue around him and pushes slightly at the slit. It manages to steal a moan from Jeongguk before he starts thrusting deeper, the lens capturing those intense, almost glossy eyes. “Look at me,” he asks before he presses the shutter button at the same time his hips roll a bit sharper. And Taehyung tries to look at him, but his eyes roll back when Jeongguk’s head hits the back of his throat. It prompts Jeongguk to bring a hand behind Taehyung’s head to keep him from moving too much when he picks up the pace. He can’t help it, his hips move on its own, his breath growing ragged and his eyes devouring Taehyung, hating that the lens doesn’t capture the exact same raw sight he has under him. “Can I come on your face?” he asks in a shaky voice, breathes heavy and loud, and moans escaping him each time he buries himself to the hilt. 

And Taehyung throws his head back so that he slips off his mouth, then, before he speaks, voice raw and ruined. 

“Please. ” And he closes his eyes and sticks his tongue out again. 

And Jeongguk doesn’t need more than that to tip over the edge, his hand stroking himself at a fast pace, painting Taehyung’s face with quivering thighs. He has a hard time taking crisp pictures, but the blur gives an artistic side to them, depicting the passion with which they lose themselves into each other; deep, intense and beautifully raw. When his hips buck up one last time, Jeongguk curses at the obscene sight of Taehyung’s face covered in cum. “Fuck, you look insanely hot right now.” He reaches to slide a thumb over Taehyung’s eyelid, wiping his eyelashes before he brings the digit to his mouth, tasting himself, too. And then, he properly takes the camera, adjusts it to get Taehyung’s entire face—cum all over his cheeks, his lips, down to his chin where spit has dribbled down, too—and presses the shutter. Another shot for their own eyes, until Jeongguk puts the camera down again, cups Taehyung’s face and drags his tongue from Taehyung’s chin up. “My messy, pretty cub. How obscene and beautiful.”

“Yours forever,” Taehyung smiles and opens his eyes, then. “Can I get a kiss, now?” And the fact that he even asks drives Joengguk absolutely wild. How submissive he is right now. 

“Of course, baby,” he whispers already against Taehyung’s lips, tongue finding his to taste himself properly—the kiss messy, but slow. “Let’s take a shower. I’ll take care of you,” he assures before Taehyung could have the time to refuse, “I’ll clean you up.” 

“I’m not sure if there’s any towel but there sure as hell aren’t any clothes,” Taehyung chuckles, then and pulls him back for another kiss. “Plus, why clean up already if we’re bound to get messy again?” He asks, opening his legs further. “We haven’t tested the bed, yet.” 

Jeongguk sucks on a sharp breath, eyes traveling down and up Taehyung’s body again. He swallows thickly, but it is not use trying to calm himself down, because the simple sight of Taehyung spread in front of him is enough to make him hard again. “You won’t blame me too much if you’re not able to stand properly tomorrow, right?” he asks, his hand going down until he grips Taehyung through his pants. “Because I won’t be able to be satisfied with just one more round.”

“You know I won’t,” he smirks and lifts himself up, kneeling on the couch and holds Jeongguk’s face, leaning closer until he whispers on his lips. “Will you be able to handle it, though?” He challenges him because he knows it will rile him up. And Taehyung also knows the answer to that question, which is why he smiles before he sticks his tongue out and licks Jeongguk’s lips before he kisses his lips. 

Taehyung’s got many personalities in bed, Jeongguk has learned through the time they’ve been together, but he’s always shocked at how easily he can shift from one to another. From submissive to bratty to even dominant, too. It’s hard to keep up, but Jeongguk loves it. Loves him to death. 

“Let’s see who’s the one who’ll start to beg the other to stop,” Jeongguk smirks. Oh, he certainly doesn’t back down from a challenge.

“You’re on, Jeon,” Taehyung smirks before he stands and starts to run to the bedroom, losing some of his clothes on the way. And he leans against the door frame, turning to face Jeongguk and bites his lip provokingly. “And bring the camera, too.” 

Jeongguk does as told, this time getting rid of his bottoms by the time he arrives at Taehyung’s level, trying to catch Taehyung’s lips before the door opens behind the latter, swallowing him into the bedroom. “I’d love to fuck you against the wall right now, but I wouldn’t have my hands free,” he tells in an amused tone as he follows Taehyung inside. The bed is huge, way bigger than the one at his apartment, and it makes Jeongguk smile a little. “Ride me?” he suggests instead, when he finally captures Taehyung’s lips.

“Gladly,” Taehyung replies before he pushes Jeongguk away, hard, and he falls on the bed. It is comfortable, that much is obvious. 

Taehyung’s eyes on him are piercing. He’s never looked more feline and dangerous in his life. Like he is a tiger and Jeongguk is a gazelle ready to be devoured. And he walks his way slowly, like he knows it will drive Jeongguk mad. And god, he is right.

Despite how terribly Jeongguk wants to pounce on Taehyung, reverse the roles and make him his prey, he puts a knee down against the mattress when he lifts the camera and presses the shutter button. “Can you undress for me, pretty?” He’s undoubtedly hard under his long and baggy shirt that doesn’t leave much for imagination. And he’s pretty sure that the smirk that pulls Taehyung’s smile right now must be because of how Jeongguk’s cock twitched under the cloth—he knows the effect he has on Jeongguk, that’s for sure. “Put on a good show, cub.”

“Make me look good,” Taehyung smiles like he knows he will anyway and he starts unbuttoning his shirt, painfully slow, letting it fall past his shoulder to expose his collarbones, and he turns around to look at the camera from over his shoulder and smirks coyly, ass peaking from under his shirt. “Like this, darling?” 

Jeongguk is pressing his tongue against his cheek when he hums a yes. He is too mesmerized by the way Taehyung poses so easily, the way his back arches and his curves show so beautifully under the lens. And it gets harder for Jeongguk to not touch, to not dig his fingers into that smooth flesh. He takes another shot before he’s climbing on the bed. Voice hoarse, full of desire, when he asks with eyes just as intense, “Need me to stretch you open for me?” And it takes him by surprise when Taehyung shakes his head. 

“I’ll do it, you just watch,” and he climbs on the bed as well. For some reason, it takes Jeongguk back to that first night they were together, their first time, when Taehyung had asked him to pull his fingers out so that he could do it himself, as well. But the reason had been so different that day. Back then, Taehyung was still hurting, was still haunted by his past and wanted to make sure he was fully in the moment with Jeongguk. Now he just wants to put on a show for Jeongguk, and it’s so hot that the little blood that was still not down to his cock, now is, making him feel dizzy. 

Jeongguk has to take another deep breath to make sure that his fingers do not tremble around the camera, and as much as he wants to capture this moment under his lens, he also desperately wants to put the camera down and touch every single part of Taehyung’s body. With the pad of his fingers, the tip of his tongue. “You’re a dream,” he lets out when Taehyung takes place in front of him. “Go ahead,” he instructs, “let me see how you do it.” 

And so, Taehyung does as he’s told. He reaches behind him and Jeongguk catches the second the pads of his fingers brush his entrance, because his lips part and his eyelids flutter closed. 

“I’ll be quick,” he announces and bites his lips as he slips the first finger in. He’s kneeling on the bed, right in front of Jeongguk, biting his lip to keep his pretty noises at bay, but Jeongguk wants, needs to hear him. 

“Let me hear you, cub,” Jeongguk tells, as he follows the way Taehyung’s back arches so prettily, the way his thighs tense at the stretch, and the way his finger disappears inside of him—and god, Jeongguk wishes he could slip his own finger alongside his, too. “That’s it,” he encourages, his voice low and full of want. “You’re so pink,” he adds, and he can’t help but reach for Taehyung’s asscheek, fingers digging into the skin to spread him open, revealing everything under the lens, “so pretty.”

“Fuck,” Taehyung moans, then, slipping his wet fingers out and eyes finding Jeongguk straight away. “Lie down, now,” and he pushes him back down, careful with the camera and climbs on top of him. 

Jeongguk’s chest spasms at the breath he misses. From where he lies now, under Taehyung, Jeongguk’s eyes follow Taehyung’s movements, his lower lip trapped between his teeth. He’s already so hard, aching to be inside of him, that he isn’t sure he is going to last long. Not when Taehyung is teasing him like that, not when Taehyung is looking at him like he is ready to devour him whole. “You’re perfect,” the words keep falling from his lips, too transfixed by Taehyung’s body, by his beauty. By how hot he looks right now, skin flushed, hair sticking to his forehead, and cock so pretty and red. Jeongguk reaches for Taehyung’s waist with his free hand, as if he can’t help but want to guide Taehyung down on him.

“And you’re a dream, baby,” he whispers before he reaches to hold him and line himself up before he sinks down on him and they both moan at it. “Mine .”

Jeongguk has to keep his hips flush against the bed as to not buck them up too hard, his jaw dropping at the tight and warm feeling around him. He allows himself to close his eyes for a second between two shots, cursing silently under his breath, and rolling his hips the moment Taehyung sinks to the hilt to try and find that sweet bundle of nerves—although it is hard in this particular angle. “You feel so good,” Jeongguk breathes out, and directs the camera up to catch the bliss making Taehyung’s lashes flutter, his lips part and his back arch. Everything about him is worth being captured—his eyes, his expression full of pleasure, his skin and the sweat that is dribbling down, following every curve of his body down to his thighs. “Think you can make yourself come without touching yourself?” But Taehyung just nods and hums, bouncing on him faster now, harder, the noises that slip past his lips deafened by the loud slap of their skins together. 

“I’m close,” he announces and he tries finding Jeongguk’s hands to hold them, but he only finds the one that is not holding the camera. “And I’m yours, forever,” he whispers before he explodes over Jeongguk with a loud cry, and he stays still for a few seconds, and although Jeongguk can see how spent he is, how oversensitive he is, Taehyung keeps moving on top of him to make him come, too. 

As his breathing grows louder, ragged, Jeongguk finally puts the camera down, and reaches to bring Taehyung down by the nape of his neck to kiss him messily, passionately. He shifts his heels against the mattress to move easily, and thrusts up at a rapid pace, quickly following Taehyung the moment he clenches around Jeongguk, his moan muffled into Taehyung’s mouth.

And it’s then that Taehyung collapses in his arms, totally spent and repeating I love you to him like a mantra.

Jeongguk’s arms immediately wrap around his frame, fingers gently caressing his skin. “You did so good,” he whispers when he nuzzles into Taehyung’s hair, pressing reassuring kisses there while his hands keep moving, always so gentle and comforting. “You looked so hot, riding me like that,” he adds, before he whispers back I love you.

“Can’t wait for you to show me,” Taehyung mumbles against his neck before he kisses it and bites it slightly. “Although I think I lost the bet, I don’t think I can go again,” he chuckles embarrassed, still not moving, still not pulling Jeongguk out of him. “At least not yet.”

A breathless laugh escapes Jeongguk’s lips. “I think I’ll have to pull out, then. Because otherwise—” and he doesn’t really need to add any more explanation, as Taehyung can probably feel him growing hard again inside. He can’t help it—his stamina and sex drive have been through the roof ever since they started dating. “I’ll show all the beautiful expressions I witness every time I make love to you,” he smiles, pressing another light peck against Taehyung’s ear. “I’ll make a proper collection for your eyes only.”

“A collection of your muse, huh?” He smiles and lifts himself enough to look at him and kisses him again, and moves slightly, a moan escaping his lips. “How selfish of you, baby.” 

With a faint laugh, Jeongguk drags his tongue along Taehyung’s lower lip. “It is because you’re mine.” He brings his hand down to Taehyung’s ass, ever so slightly pulling his hips forward to elicit another moan from him. “Isn’t it true? Mine to love, Mine to look at. Mine to make love to.”

“Yeah,” he moans before he kisses him again. “Make love to me again, then.”

A satisfied smile plays on Jeongguk’s lips before he tentatively rolls his hips, shivers running down his spine as he feels Taehyung clenching around his already hard cock. He carefully turns them around, hips still flushed against Taehyung’s ass as to not slip out in the process, but he must have brushed Taehyung’s prostate judging by how his back immediately arches so prettily, and how loud his moan falls from his parted lips. “Just lay down and let me take care of you tonight.” And as good as it sounds, it is also dangerous— and Taehyung must know by now that he probably won’t be able to walk properly in the morning.

And the simple thought of it fills Jeongguk’s chest with a burning desire and want that transcribes into how slow yet deep and intense he makes love to his muse. 

— ✧ —

Jeongguk’s alarm goes off at the usual time although technically they don’t really need to wake up that early anymore since they’re closer. But, Taehyung remembers then, that they need to go back to their own apartments and get ready for today, since they have no new clothes here and he doesn’t think Yoongi would appreciate him walking in with the same clothes clearly knowing why that is. 

But Taehyung still whines, still buries his face in Jeongguk’s bare chest as if like that the world around him would disappear and it would just be the two of them. 

His entire body complains about the movement, after he feels like he exercises every single muscle and bone in his body last night. Jeongguk’s hand comes to wrap around his waist after he’s turned off the horrible noise of his alarm and pulls him even closer.

“D’you think Yoongi hyung will fire me if I skip the meeting today?” Taehyung asks, voice still tangled with sleep and he’s pretty sure that the sentence he made did not make any actual sense.

A laugh makes Jeongguk’s chest vibrate before he speaks with his usual morning, husky voice, “I think he’ll definitely scold the both of us,” and presses a kiss where he nuzzles into Taehyung’s hair. “Sore?” he asks almost in a murmur, his fingers gently caressing Taehyung’s waist, as if Taehyung had no reason to be sore after what they did. Jeongguk didn’t exactly go easy on him, so he undoubtedly knows that the morning must be quite difficult for him.

“A little bit,” he admits and presses closer to him. “I’d say that way I think about you all day but the challenge would be not to.” And he presses a kiss on Jeongguk’s skin. He’s sure there’s proof of what happened a few hours ago across it as well, but he’s sure he wasn’t expecting Taehyung to control his hands or lips as they went on. “We should’ve brought extra clothes,” he regrets. Although, truthfully, he didn’t know they would spend the night here. He should’ve known better, really. “Shall we go to yours? I think I still have some clothes there and if not, I can wear yours.”

Jeongguk hums at the suggestion despite how he gently presses against Taehyung’s lower back to keep him even closer, neither of them doing much to leave each other’s arms. “You can shower there. I love seeing you wearing my clothes,” he says, the hint of a smile in his tone, and shifts enough to be looking into Taehyung’s eyes with a loving gaze. “Just one more minute?” 

“One more minute,” he echoes and kisses his lips softly.

The minute turns into a few more, but they eventually get out of bed, into their clothes from last night and leave their new home. They’ll come back to it soon enough. 

Taehyung holds Jeongguk’s waist as he drives his motorbike back to Jeongguk’s place which is closer than Taehyung’s. They still have plenty of time, well, Taehyung has time. Jeongguk might be a little bit late, which is why Taehyung lets him shower first.

And joins him in the shower. 

Because he’s such a good boyfriend. 

Jeongguk leaves first, kissing him so hard Taehyung almost drags him back inside, and Taehyung smiles like a fool the entire time until he makes it to his new company building. His security team is already waiting for him downstairs when he arrives.

He had a few requests that he asked Namjoon to add to the contract and he talked to Yoongi about it as well. He said that, unless he requests it, he won’t get picked up at his place. Nobody will go into his apartment unless it’s necessary and he will not need them for personal schedules. 

After all, his boyfriend has enough experience to cover those basis if he were to ever need it, and, he’ll be more comfortable like that. 

Yoongi agreed, of course.

“Good morning,” Taehyung greets when he sees them. They all bow at him and greet back. “Is Yoongi hyung already here?” 

“He arrived just a few minutes ago, sir,” one of them informs him. He still hasn’t had the time to get to know them properly, but he will. “Shall we go up to the meeting room?”

And Taehyung nods.

If Yoongi notices him walking funny as he steps into the room or flinching when he sits down, he doesn’t mention it. Taehyung appreciates it greatly.

— ♤ —

“What is the theme?” 

Jeongguk gets startled by the sudden voice that comes from above his shoulder. He peels his eyes from his laptop’s screen to look up at the professor in charge of the current class he’s taking, until he realizes something. The light filling the room is warmer, and the sounds of chatters around him had stopped. When he looks around, he notices that, indeed, he’s the last student to leave. It is, however, not so surprising for him to get so focused, so engrossed by his own work that he forgets about time. He tends to do that a lot. Hyperfocus. Especially when it is about— “My muse.”

The man nods with raised eyebrows, either impressed or curious by the picture Jeongguk is currently editing—very small changes, such as a better cropping, or enhancing the colors and shadows to bring out the beauty of Taehyung’s features. “Is this for the exhibition you’ve talked about?” 

Jeongguk nods with a timid smile. “I’m working on the concept of freedom. I believe that this collection of photographs will be the strongest depiction of it.” 

And he isn’t wrong. After all, this is about Taehyung’s life after the trial. And as much as they’d like to believe that Taehyung hasn’t been contained and prevented from even having those strong feelings of love, passion and desire, Jeongguk noticed the subtle change. The way Taehyung’s body gives in to pleasure, the way he doesn’t hesitate anymore. The way he lets himself feel everything to its full extent, to the point of reacting even more intensely to every and each ministration from his lover. 

The photographs are vague. Implicit. There’s no clear shot of Taehyung’s face, but Jeongguk could recognize his body in a million. Every single curve, every single bit of his honey skin. Shadows contrast beautifully with the light parts, creating dreamy shots straight out of a movie recorded with a film camera. 

There’s passion, love, pleasure, but there’s also relief, comfort, solace found after a strenuous battle. All of it compiled into a total of twenty-seven photographs. Taehyung’s age.

“When will the exhibition start?”

Jeongguk darts his eyes to his phone, unlocking it to see the message Taehyung sent him. A smile pulls on the corner of his lips. “In three weeks.”

The same day. The release day of Taehyung’s personal album.

— ✧ —

The Darkness Within finally has a release date. Taehyung can’t believe that, after so long, it’s finally coming out. 

After the trial and everything, he knows that people will be expectant to see what he puts out, the words that he wrote and they will probably know who each of the words out of his pen are about, but he doesn’t mind too much the scrutiny that his work will face because he’ll just be happy and proud that it is out there. 

That everything he went through in order to get his truth out, will be worth it. 

Yoongi was so excited to tell him, so happy to know that Taehyung is following his footsteps and not letting anybody but himself dictate what he should or shouldn’t sing about. He’s the best boss in the world and Taehyung hates that it took him this long to see it. 

The meeting wasn’t very long because Taehyung still remembered everything he’d prepared for the pitch-in of his album that cursed day back at his old company. The difference was that, this time, every single person in the room was paying attention, taking notes, asking questions, being interested in what Taehyung had to say and being supportive of his decisions. 

Taehyung came out of that meeting with a release date, a full schedule to film the music video for the title track and the shooting of the pictures for the different versions of the album. 

He was almost tempted to suggest Jeongguk sent some of the pictures he’s taken of him, since the cover is one of his, too. That fact was agreed upon, too. The picture summing out the process really well.

“You can do a special edition with his pictures, if you want,” Yoongi suggested, and Taehyung felt giddy about that. Of course, none of the raw pictures would be there, but considering it was Jeongguk who shot the cover and it was also him that filmed the behind-the-scenes footage that will also come out through the release of the album, Taehyung thinks it would be special as well. 

He’ll ask him about it, Taehyung told the room after that. 

But he’s excited and he finally feels like he’s back to being himself. He’s excited to have things to do, pictures to take and videos to film, promotions to carry out and he’s very excited to see his fans again, to hear their thoughts on his music and to (hopefully) see that his old company was wrong, that they don’t just love him because he’s a pretty face, but they also want to hear everything he has to say: good and bad. 

When he comes out of the meeting, it’s still too early and he knows Jeongguk will still be in class, so he decides to call Jimin instead. 

It’s been a while since he’s seen his best friend since they are both caught in the midst of the honeymoon phase, as Taehyung likes to call it. 

Granted, his should’ve ended already, but it’s hard not to be stuck in it forever when the love of his life is involved. 

Jimin and Namjoon started taking things slow through the whole trial process, but that didn’t keep them from falling hard anyway. Taehyung knew. After he found out about it thanks to Jeongguk’s mother, Jimin had confided in him more than once, had cried in his arms a few times because “ I just like him so much, Taehyungie, but what if he doesn’t see me that way?” 

Taehyung knew it was stupid. He’d seen the way Namjoon looked at him whenever Jimin wasn’t looking, so he was certain. But, of course, Jimin was an overthinker, he couldn’t blame him for that. 

They’re dating for real, now. Have been for like a month, now, and they’re so grossly in love that Taehyung sometimes feels like he should step up his game, too. 

Thankfully, Jimin seems to be available today so Taehyung takes him shopping. He needs to stack up their new apartment and get a few things so that they can start moving in soon, after all. 

Catching up with Jimin is easy, and he’s always been a great help when it comes to shopping and decorating, so he knows that his advice will be appreciated. 

“I can’t believe you guys are moving in together already,” Jimin says at one point as he helps Taehyung add another set of sheets to the basket. “I mean, I can believe it, but it’s just crazy how fast time flies,” he chuckles. 

“You know I wanted to ask him to move in the second we started dating, though,” Taehyung admits and his friend nods. “But I think it’s the right time, now.” 

“You better make me your best man when you get married or I won’t make you mine,” he points at him threateningly and he laughs, then. 

“Thinking about marriage already, Jimin? Damn, and you were calling me out for going too fast.” 

“I mean, have I been picturing Namjoon in a wedding tux waiting for me in court ever since your trial because I know we wouldn’t be able to get married in a church plus he doesn’t really believe in God? Maybe,” his friend admits with a shrug and Taehyung shakes his head with a fond smile on his lips. “I know it might take a bit, but I—I don’t know, he feels like he’s the one, you know?”

“I know,” Taehyung nods, because he feels the same way. And it’s funny how, if it weren’t for Taehyung’s shitty company, neither of them would’ve found their perfect match: Taehyung wouldn’t have found Jeongguk and, thus, Jimin would’ve never met Namjoon, either. “And of course, you’ll be my best man. Yoongi hyung might sulk a bit about it, though, but I’ll let him give a speech or something.” 

“That’s my best friend,” Jimin shrieks and hugs Taehyung tightly. “Let me know if you ever need to go ring shopping. Or is that your engagement ring already?” He asks, pointing at the green ring Taehyung always wears with him and he smiles looking at it, and says nothing else. 

Jimin doesn’t press further, either. 

After they finish shopping, Seokjin comes to pick them both up in a huge car where they can fit everything and, after that, he helps Taehyung carry everything upstairs to the new apartment. Thank God there’s no evidence of last night. 

“It’s such a joy to see you this happy, Taehyung-ah,” Jimin’s bodyguard tells him. He truly has seen Taehyung at his worst, too, since he was most of the time the one who had to drive Jimin and him to the emergency room since Jimin didn’t drive at the time and Taehyung couldn’t possibly attempt to. He’s always been so kind to him, too. A nice contrast to the people Taehyung’d been used to. 

“Thanks, hyung,” Taehyung smiles back. “And, by the way, I don’t think I thanked you yet but Jimin said that you also gave Namjoon your testimony for the trial, so I appreciate that a lot, too.” 

“Of course, kid. I would always do everything I could to protect Jimin, and that includes protecting you, too,” he smiles and Taehyung feels like he needs to hug his hyung as well. After so long, he’s more than a bodyguard as well. 

“Hyung, come on! I have to meet Namjoon hyung in like five minutes!” Jimin calls from the entrance, his high-pitched voice making the both of them roll his eyes affectionately. 

“Then maybe you should start driving yourself there, Jimin-ah!” Seokjin tells him, then and chuckles. 

“You can go, don’t worry. Take Jimderella to his ball or whatever, you guys already helped a lot. Plus, I bet Jeonggukie will be here any second, too. We can finish assembling everything, then,” he nods. 

“Alright! I’ll see you soon, baby. And congrats on your album, too!” Jimin hugs him tightly before he starts pulling Seokjin out of the apartment, Taehyung laughing at the sight and he takes his phone out to see if he’s got any texts from Jeongguk and decides to send him another one, then.

to : baby bun ♡ — 07:52 p.m.
come home when u finish
(the new one) 

He sees the still unread texts that he sent earlier when he came out of the meeting and smiles again: “ mark your calendar!!!! Friday, October 6th”

Three weeks away. 

— ♤ —

It is only when the photographs have been perfectly selected, and edited, that Jeongguk decides to leave the class. It is then that he sees Taehyung’s message to go home—their new home. Their shared, intimate place. A smile plays on Jeongguk’s lips as he responds a short, “coming! will be there in 10,” before he hops onto his motorbike. 

He doesn’t forget to put on one of his AirPods and play two of the songs Taehyung had dedicated to him. Jeongguk had to ask, and ask again for Taehyung to allow him to add those beautiful, raw songs to his phone, assured that it was because, that way, it would be easier to spend time away from Taehyung—as if they don’t fall asleep into each other’s arms every night, and wake up wrapped with the same comforting and familiar warmth in the morning. 

What can they say? They’ve fallen hard, and spending time away from each other although not torture, makes them look forward to the moment they’ll be in each other’s arms again. 

As soon as Jeongguk arrives by the apartment, and walks inside, he lets out a sigh of relief. He’s home. “I’m home!” he says enthusiastically when he takes his shoes off and leaves his helmet and bags by the hallway, his smile growing wider the moment his eyes meet Taehyung’s, and his arms immediately wrap around him in a warm and tight embrace. “Congrats on your meeting, and on getting a release date.”

“Welcome home, baby,” he whispers against his lips before he kisses him. “And thank you!” Taehyung chuckles and kisses him again. “You got too swept into your work, huh? Do you see what time it is?” He asks once Jeongguk has put him back down. 

A timid chuckle escapes Jeongguk’s lips. He glances back to where the windows open to an already dark sky, and shrugs faintly. It isn’t as if he didn’t have a good excuse. “You’ll understand when you see the result,” Jeongguk tells, fingers gently squeezing Taehyung’s waist. “How did it go?”

“Really good!” And his smile matches the words out of his mouth. He’s glowing. And Jeongguk guesses that, that’s the thing about loving people. If you find them at their worst, it’s even easier to love them at their best. “I also went shopping with Jimin and bought some things for the place and brought some of my clothes from home already, too.” And when Taehyung reaches to hold his hand and pull from him further into the apartment, he lets him. “I was in the midst of building a table so that we can have dinner, but I’m starting to think we’re much better off eating on the couch.”

Jeongguk laughs happily at that. “You could have waited for me, we would have done it together. But eating anywhere with you is fine with me, you know that.” He squeezes Taehyung’s hand, brings it to his lips to press a gentle kiss against it, and asks, “Is Chef Kim going to impress me tonight?”

“Sorry to disappoint, but chef Kim has ordered some food which will be here in a bit,” Taehyung chuckles. “That’s one thing I couldn’t buy: kitchen supplies. Did I do it on purpose? I won’t be answering that without my lawyer present.” 

“You learned that well,” Jeongguk smiles, amused, and pulls Taehyung in for another slow, and deep kiss. When he parts gently, he takes the time to look into Taehyung’s eyes, at each one of his features that Jeongguk loves. He then brings a hand up to brush the clumps of hair out of Taehyung’s eyes, and beams again. “I’m excited for the release of your album. You’ve worked so hard for it. Fought so hard for it. And I’m so proud of you, love.”

“Thank you,” Taehyung smiles and, as if he couldn’t handle the intensity of Jeongguk’s eyes, he hugs him tight and takes a deep breath. “I love you. What were you working on until this late? Tell me while we finish building this thing until the food gets here.” 

Leaving a kiss to Taehyung’s temple when they part, Jeongguk turns to where the pieces lay over the rug. “Well,” he starts with a pleased smile as he sits on the ground to be able to assemble the pieces, “I’ve been working on the collection I’ll exhibit soon.” His very first exhibition organized entirely by him, with the help of an institution that allowed him to exhibit his work to the public. It’s huge, especially for an artist who has always been refused or mocked for the works he had presented in previous museums. “I can’t say much more than that. You’ll have to wait patiently to see the result,” he chuckles happily.

“I’m so proud of you, you know that, right?” Taehyung smiles, reaching for his hand and squeezing it. “You’re gonna become more famous than I soon,” he chuckles. Although Taehyung still doesn’t know much about the exhibition, of course Jeongguk told him about it as soon as they offered him the opportunity, and he’s been nothing but supportive ever since. 

“That’s not my intention,” Jeongguk replies with an amused smile, thumb caressing the back of Taehyung hand. “But I hope that you’ll enjoy it as much as I do.” 

After all, he’s been putting the collection together for Taehyung’s eyes more than anyone else’s. A work that will accompany his own. A continuation of the album cover, and a new chapter that begins.

“I already know that I will,” Taehyung smiles, and reaches over the still unbuilt table to kiss his lips. “Come on, put those muscles to work, babe,” he chuckles and hands him a hammer.

Just as amused, Jeongguk rolls up the short sleeves of his tee to show his biceps, and starts assembling the table, jokingly contracting his muscles from time to time to hear that beautiful, bubbly laugh escape Taehyung’s lips.

Oh, how lucky Jeongguk is to be able to spend a lifetime hearing him laugh so happily.

— ✧ —

[October 6th]

It’s been a hectic few weeks, but the day has finally come. 

After all the filming, the photoshoots, the promotional interviews and recordings, the coming home at dawn and waking up in the middle of the day, the moving to a new place in between it all… Taehyung thinks that he should be exhausted, but he’s not. 

He feels like he’s been fueled by his own drive, by the excitement of everything going on, which is making him able to carry on even with little hours of sleep. 

The day the announcement dropped, Taehyung spent hours checking the response from his fans and from other people online. Jeongguk had to physically take his phone away and lock it in one of the drawers to get him to stop, but he was just so relieved. So happy. 

It seemed like everything was finally coming full circle: he was going to be able to share his truth with the world without fearing the repercussion of his words. His fans were so excited, and the teaser pictures had turned out amazing. Taehyung wished that he could’ve shared some of his personal favorites, but none of them were from the official shoot. They’re stored in Jeongguk’s memory drive back home. 

He wakes up nervous, because he knows it’s a very important day. He’s got a press conference in a few hours to answer questions about the album and, when it drops at 6PM, he’ll have to check the reactions and promote it some more. 

Their new apartment has shaped into more of a home in the past few weeks, too. They’re officially moved in, now. Pictures are hanging from the walls and their furniture has changed to make it seem more like them and less like an exhibit home like Taehyung’s old apartment was. 

They eventually turned two of the rooms into studios for each of them: one filled with photography equipment and pictures of Jeongguk’s family and another one for Taehyung, although he tends to work from the office better, since he made a promise to himself to separate his life-work activities now that he doesn’t need to hide from his company anymore. 

Jeongguk has also been busy these past few weeks preparing for his exhibition that Taehyung still hasn’t been told much about, which makes him both excited and nervous for some reason. 

Some nights, even if Taehyung arrived really late from filming, the light under Jeongguk’s door was still on, so he walked into it and hugged his back, placing kisses along his skin and urging him to go to bed with him. He always did. 

They’ve both been busy, building the future they wish to live in, together.

Taehyung’s heart is racing as he looks at Jeongguk sleeping next to him, his arm draped around Taehyung’s waist to keep him close where he belongs, next to him. 

Sometimes he wonders how he got this lucky. He wonders what would’ve become of him if Jeongguk hadn’t shown up in his life the way he did. Would he have fought for himself the way he did? Would he have realized that he deserved better than what he was used to? Would he even be here at all? 

He’s incredibly grateful that a soul as kind as Jeongguk decided to love his broken one until it was whole again. Taehyung smiles again, reaching to caress his cheek as he thinks of the surprise song that he added to the album. He hasn’t told Jeongguk about it yet—although, it’s not really a surprise to him considering he already heard it once. 

But he’s allowing the whole world to hear it now, he’s allowing his heart to be shown like it is: raw and in love with the man that now sleeps by his side. 

Taehyung almost added more songs to the album, but he knew that there will be more ones in the future where they will find a home. And more songs that will come out from his pen the longer Jeongguk and him live together. 

But this project, the darkness within is perfect as it is: from the dark thoughts, from the trapped feelings, from the anxiety and the fear to the release, the light, the hope and the freedom. 

He’s had a few too many conversations with Yoongi about it, about how he should announce it, how he should talk about it to the press, how he should add the final surprise song, too. 

And there’s something else he’s talked to Yoongi about: Jeongguk. He already gave him credits in the album for the cover, and he was all over the special thanks note Taehyung sent. He will also be credited for the recording of the behind-the-scenes footage from the recording of the album, and it won’t take a genius to know who the song is for. 

“What do you want me to say if there are rumors?” Yoongi asked Taehyung one night after they talked about it, Taehyung having posted a story of their shared home with Jeongguk somewhere in the background. It’s not like he’s hiding him, they’re not hiding anything. He’s just keeping the majority of it quiet, for now. 

“I kinda want to announce it myself,” Taehyung admitted. He always hated that companies felt the need to have a say in their worker’s love lives. The whole releasing a statement denying or clarifying rumors always felt stupid to Taehyung. 

He’s his own person, and he will speak on things when he’s ready. 

And he’s ready, now. 

The wind blows outside with the coolness of the new season and Jeongguk seems to start stirring awake, probably feeling the weight of Taehyung’s eyes on him, the touch of his hand against his skin.  

“Good morning,” is the first thing that falls from Jeongguk’s lips when his eyelids flutter open, rubbing the sleepiness out of his eyes. He reaches gently for Taehyung’s neck, caresses the skin there and brings him down to kiss him. It’s slow, tender, gentle, but filled with love and passion, as if silent confessions are being shared. “You woke up early for your special day,” he murmurs, morning voice hoarse. “Nervous and excited?” 

“Very,” Taehyung admits, feeling as if his heart were about to jump off his chest. To make up for it, he leans in and brushes his nose against Jeongguk’s before he kisses him again. “I can’t believe the day has finally come.”

Although still drowsy, Jeongguk keeps gently massaging Taehyung’s neck from where he lies on the bed as a way to bring him comfort. “You’ve waited so long for this day. Worked so hard for it. The new chapter starts today,” he smiles, eyes now properly staring into Taehyung’s. And just like every morning, Jeongguk looks at Taehyung like he’s falling in love all over again. Perhaps it is the sleepiness enhancing that already intense feeling of love, but it is so comforting and warm. “I love you,” he whispers it, “I’m so proud of you. Today is your day.”

“And I love you,” Taehyung whispers against his lips. “Thank you for being with me through it all,” he feels the need to say while the rest of the world still sleeps around them. “Don’t know if I would’ve made it without you.” 

“We found each other at the right time,” Jeongguk says with a smile, thumb caressing Taehyung’s jaw. “Let’s not try to imagine what our lives would have been like without each other. We’re here for a reason. And I couldn’t have been happier. You make the happiest man alive.”

And all Taehyung can do then is to pull him even closer and kiss his lips once more, as if it were the first time, as if, even after all these months, Taehyung was still falling deeper and deeper for him. He feels like he’ll never stop. 

Jeongguk’s alarm goes off startling the both of them and Taehyung frowns. 

“Why do you have your alarm set?” he questions, since he told Taehyung that he didn’t have class today. Did he forget to turn it off last night? 

“Hm,” Jeongguk starts when he turns off the alarm, and his hesitation piques Taehyung’s curiosity. “You’re not the only one whose work gets revealed today,” he tells with a knowing smile, “it’s a surprise. For you.”

“What?” Taehyung asks, sitting up. “You’re kidding me,” and he sounds as surprised as he feels, but Jeongguk just giggles. “Guk! What did you do?” 

An innocent shrug of his shoulders accompanies his satisfied smile. “Remember when you asked me what I was working on, when I came home late from class?” he waits for Taehyung’s nod before he finishes, “well, the exhibition starts today.” 

“What?! Babe, I’m gonna miss it!” Taehyung gasps, upset. He knows how hard Jeongguk has worked on this and the thought of not being there for him today makes him feel awful. He didn’t even know it was today, and he’s starting to panic, thinking that maybe he’d told him before and he’d forgotten with how many things he had in mind. “God, I’m sorry, I—I’m so proud of you.” 

Jeongguk blinks at the reaction, before he reaches to cup Taehyung’s face into his hands, quickly shaking his head. “Why are you apologizing? The exhibition is gonna last a week, love. And today is the perfect day for it to start. It’s about you, about freedom,” he explains, gently caressing Taehyung’s cheeks. “I wanted this, too. It’s more... meaningful, for it to start when your album drops. And I’ll have access to the place even after the closing hours, so,” he offers a gentle smile, reaching to kiss Taehyung’s lips, “I could show you around when there’s nobody else but you and me.” Taehyung feels his eyes well up as Jeongguk keeps talking, feeling so blessed and happy to have him. 

“Thank you ,” he manages to say, and he feels like it comes from the deepest part of his soul. He will make it up to him, he’s already got some ideas. “I love you, I do.” And he hugs him again, so tight that they both fall down on the bed. “And congratulations to you, too, my darling.” 

“Thank you,” Jeongguk whispers back, fingers back to caressing Taehyung’s back. “This almost feels like a dream. To have you in my arms, ready to release your album, safe and free from them. I couldn’t have wished for more.”

And, truthfully, neither could Taehyung. 

— ♤ —

To say that Jeongguk isn’t nervous would be a lie. 

Not only is he nervous about how many people will come to his exhibition, but he is also nervous about the release of Taehyung’s album. Not that he thinks it won’t be well received, quite the opposite—he’s been excited for him to release those songs, to reveal such a private and raw side of him. Both Taehyung and him have been waiting for so long for it to be released, that Jeongguk had come to feel just as nervous as Taehyung. 

It’s a good thing. A new chapter of their life. Their lives have already changed since the trial, but now it feels like the final step they’re taking to freedom. 

And just like Jeongguk has told Taehyung, he couldn’t have chosen a better day for the exhibition to start, to accompany Taehyung’s album.

Surprisingly, the open hour received a lot of visitors. Mostly artists who have been aware of the exhibition, but Jeongguk notices that a lot of them came for pure curiosity. They must have probably seen the posters of it, quite vague, quite intriguing. Jeongguk stood there to welcome most visitors, and talk to those who were interested in knowing more about the process of those shots being exposed. It felt... surreal. To suddenly have that many people coming to see his own work, to have that many people praising him. 

And Jeongguk couldn’t help but smile, and respond with the same words of a man that has fallen deep in love, “I couldn’t have done it without my muse.”

The pictures are mostly silhouettes, close-ups of skin shivering under pleasure, of fingers digging into the flesh of an unknown back. A photograph depicts the joy of getting rid of clothes as soon as one’s day comes to an end, the rest of the moment kept secret between Jeongguk and Taehyung. Another has thousands of papers scribbled, under the weight of someone’s arm. Someone who’s most probably asleep after an exhausting day spent working. Another has an empty spot of an apartment that looks new, bathing in the morning sun. Our home, is the title of it. 

Jeongguk’s smile grows wide as he looks at each one of them, once again, with a feeling of accomplishment. Relief. 

[ SG ENTERTAINMENT ] “The Darkness Within” by Kim Taehyung is OUT now ! 

Jeongguk grips his phone at the notification as he shares the news on his instagram’s account, the story following the one about his exhibition. His heart is beating at miles an hour, and he feels so proud that he fears he might start crying in the middle of the exhibition, under a hundred of eyes. 

[ BREAKING NEWS ] Fans emotional reactions to their idol Kim Taehyung’s album 

A breath he didn’t know he was holding escapes him, a smile growing over his lips. No matter how much he’s trying to keep himself as calm as he can, he can’t help the tears that start brimming his eyes. 

to : baby cub ♡ — 06:03 p.m.
congratulations, baby!!!
i’m so proud of you
people are enjoying it!!
your hard work paid off
i couldn’t be prouder
i love you so much
you did it

After sending the messages, Jeongguk checks a few more articles and reactions from Taehyung’s fans. They’re honest, vivid reactions that he understands perfectly—he would have reacted the same way. Did react the same way, although it feels like it wouldn’t have reached the deepest parts of him if he didn’t know Taehyung the way he knows now. If he didn’t fall so desperately in love with him. 

Proud is an understatement. Jeongguk feels so relieved that he has to take a moment to process this, and come back to the exhibition that depicts these very same feelings—

Relief, and freedom.

A gift, and another confession to his muse.

— ✧ —

The flashes are blinding as Taehyung steps out into the conference room. Taehyung has been so nervous all day that he’s been barely able to stomach any food at all, and he’s been refreshing his phone every second just to make sure that everything is going well, that no unexpected things can ruin it for him, even if Yoongi has reassured him a million times that nothing will. 

He’s got trust issues, can you blame him?

But at exactly 6pm, he gets out to the conference room, bowing and thanking people for being there in the first place. 

It’s the first press event he does after the whole trial and he’s nervous. He fears that most of the questions he’s going to get will probably be about that, since it’s what gets the most clicks and, nowadays, that seems to be all people care about, but he doesn’t care. Not today. Not when he’s finally released the most special album in his career.

“First of all, I want to thank you all for being here with me to celebrate the release of The Darkness Within,” Taehyung smiles once he’s taken the first set of pictures in front of a photo wall with the name of the album on it. “This album, as you know, is a very personal work. It’s also very different from everything I’ve done in the past, but it has also been something I’ve been dying to say for so long. I wrote the entirety of the album a few months ago, and it felt like such a healing process to do that, to finally let go of everything that I’d been keeping inside for so long, and now it’s out there for the world to listen to and, hopefully, it can help people who find themselves in a dark position like the one I was in feel a little better,” he smiles and people clap at that, which makes him bow. “There are a total of ten songs on the album… or are they?” He smirks, then, hinting at the secret song. He knows the press got the songs early so that they could come prepared today, but he’s not sure if Yoongi sent that one too, or if it will also be a surprise to them. “I tell many stories through this album, and I also wanted to add a special song for a special person in my life.” 

When he says that, the room erupts in flashes again. He should’ve seen that coming, but, unfortunately, that’s all they’re gonna get. 

It won’t be too hard to guess when the rest of the content for the album comes out. 

“And now, it is your turn to ask questions,” Taehyung smiles and sits down, microphone in hand, ready to be bombarded with the same question from different perspectives, but, to his surprise, that’s not what he gets. 

Turns out, Yoongi probably made sure that the people that came to the press conference were actually decent reporters that know what they were talking about and know what they were doing and actually care about music, which is nice for a chance. 

Taehyung answers all the questions gladly, and even gets emotional talking about the process of writing, remembering everything that he went through to get there. 

“I know this might a bit of a sensitive topic but it’s been known that your last company did not support you nor your artistic vision, at least not in the past few years. Was this a project that you have been keeping for a while?” A girl asks, ready to type out Taehyung’s answer. He bites his lip a bit nervously, then. 

“Like I said, this project isn’t that old yet, but… yes, I tried to release it under my old company and they did not approve of it. It’s one of the reasons why this is such an important work for me, because it gave me freedom, too. And I—I wanna thank someone for that, but he knows who he is,” he smiles softly. 

“One last question, please,” the moderator says, then, and Taehyung can’t believe it’s already been an hour since they started this. He wonders what the reaction from his fans has been, from the media and the general public. 

“Are you in love, Taehyung-ssi?” 

Now, that’s an easy question. 

“Deeply,” he whispers into the microphone before he stands up and gets blinded by the flashes again, waving goodbye and bowing to everyone before he goes backstage again. 

Yoongi is there to welcome him with a smile. 

“You’re a star, Taehyung. Now more than ever,” and he hugs him. “Come on, leave, I need to do a bit of damage control about your last question, now, though,” he chuckles. 

“Don’t bother, I think I’m going to cause more damage in a bit,” Taehyung winks at him and Yoongi rolls his eyes. “Is my car ready?” 

“We’re ready, sir,” one of his bodyguards lets him know and Taehyung nods, getting his stuff and rushing out of the building into the car. “Where to?” Taehyung smiles and makes sure he’s got everything he needs before he answers.

“The Seoul Photography Exhibition Center.” 

— ♤ —

The first day has been successful. 

Jeongguk didn’t expect that even half of the visitors would come, today, and he’s been quite pleasantly surprised. He supposes that the exhibition has also been shared through social medias, which brought a totally new public to discover his work. 

Although he’s been solicited more times than not, Jeongguk would always check his phone to see how the interview went. He didn’t have much time to watch the entirety of it, but he caught glimpses and clips from here and there, the last one making his heart leap and warmth spreading all over his face. 

“Are you in love, Taehyung-ssi?”

“Deeply.”

A giddy smile plays on Jeongguk’s lips when he puts the phone back into his pocket and bows to the visitors leaving the place. The doors close in less than twenty minutes, so only a few people are still left to discover the photography collection.

Lost into an interesting conversation with a creative director who’s been eyeing Jeongguk’s account for some time now, Jeongguk doesn’t immediately notice the chitchatters around them. He’s about to talk about his next projects, when gasps and the sound of camera shutters fill the room and pulls his attention.

“Isn’t that Kim Taehyung?” a woman whispers as Jeongguk immediately snaps his neck to look behind him. 

“Why is he here?” another asks.

And Jeongguk feels like he’s suddenly out of breath, his eyes wide and surprised by the man standing in front of him, bouquet in his hands, looking radiant and free. It is as if the light caresses his silhouette, illuminates him in a way that makes him stand out in the middle of any crowd. It makes him stand out, now. Jeongguk even forgets where he is, when he walks up to him. 

“You came,” he whispers with a faint chuckle of relief and happiness. “I wasn’t expecting you so soon.”

“ Of course, where else would I be?” Taehyung smiles and he hugs him like they’re the only people in the room, as if the fact that they’re not didn’t matter at all. Jeongguk pulls him closer, if that was even possible, his embrace tight and warm as he bites down a smile at how overjoyed he feels.

“You did it,” he tells when he parts just enough to look into Taehyung’s eyes, his own sparkling and his chest full of pride in Taehyung’s achievement, “your album is out to the world. Congratulations, once again.”

“And congratulations to you, too, mister exhibition man,” Taehyung smiles and hands him the bouquet. “These are for you.” 

“Wow, I should be the one offering you a bouquet!” Jeonguk takes the flowers into his hands, not even caring about the phones around them taking pictures and probably videos, too, as Jeongguk’s attention is all on Taehyung. On his muse. His love. “So, our dear Kim Taehyung is deeply in love?” he asks with an amused smile, although there is a red tint to his cheeks. He’s been surprised that Taehyung responded without hesitation. Pleasantly surprised.

And Taehyung’s smile is more blinding than all the spotlights, than all the flashes that go off the second he replies.

“Deeply.” And he pulls from the front of Jeongguk’s blazer and kisses his lips right there.

Jeongguk’s first reaction is to snap his eyes wide open, a hand squeezing Taehyung’s waist but it only lasts a second before he’s responding, eyelids falling and a chuckle muffled into Taehyung’s mouth as he hears gasps of surprise. “Is this okay?” he whispers against Taehyung’s lips, and when they part there’s warmth spreading all over Jeongguk’s cheeks. It is more than okay to him, and he feels so relieved that it almost feels guilty. “We’re gonna be all over the media,” he tells, and yet he keeps Taehyung there, close to him, with a sheepish smile on his lips.

“At least, for once, they’ll be writing the truth,” Taehyung smiles and his eyes are so full of love and fondness that Jeongguk almost melts. “Plus, I’m saving them the speculation about who my secret song is about,” Taehyung smirks, but Jeongguk frowns.

“Secret song?” Jeongguk hasn’t caught that from the interview. How did he even miss it? “You haven’t told me about it, have you? And you—” he stares for a second, thinking it through before the blush over his cheeks deepens. The next words are whispered again, as if he shouldn’t be talking about it, as if that should be kept a secret between them. “Did you really add a song you wrote about me on your album?”  

“I did,” Taehyung nods, unbothered. “You were my light within the darkness, it was only fair. You’ve already heard it, though,” and he bites his lip nervously, then. Maybe he’s just now realizing where they are and what they’re doing. “It wasn’t enough to write your name a million times in the acknowledgments, to have one of your gorgeous pictures as a cover. You deserved a song, too.”

“Taehyung—” he begins to speak but he has to bring the bouquet up between their bodies to hide the happiness written all over his face, wanting nothing more than to kiss Taehyung once again and never let go of him. “I can’t believe you did this.” And, well, he did also center his whole collection and very first exhibition around Taehyung, but he still couldn’t believe that a song about him would be released under Taehyung’s name. To the entire world. 

“And I can’t believe you did this!” He signals at the whole exhibition, and it’s then that Jeongguk sees all the eyes on them. But it’s as if Taehyung didn’t care, as if he wasn’t a celebrity at all. “Will you give me a tour?” He smiles. 

With a shy nod, Jeongguk lets go of the hold around Taehyung’s waist, offering a gentle nod to the people around as a manner to silently ask them to stop taking pictures. Thankfully, the cameras were lowered, then. 

“I think you’ll recognize every single photograph,” Jeongguk laughs as he guides Taehyung to the beginning of the exhibition, the first picture being taken the day of the trial, right after they went home from Jeongguk’s mom’s restaurant. The whole collection not only depicts freedom, but intimacy too. Love. Skinship. Gentle touches. Lips against sweaty skin. Fingers through curly hair. Legs tangled, and fingers intertwined.

“These are… so beautiful,” Taehyung whispers, almost choking up. “You…” but he can’t finish the sentence. Jeongguk turns to look at him and sees the tears in his eyes. “I love you.” 

This time, as they face the wall where the photographs are hung, no one is able to see when Jeongguk leans in to kiss Taehyung, slowly, passionately, his hand finding Taehyung’s and squeezing a little. Warmth blooms inside his chest, relieved that Taehyung enjoys the collection that depicts them in a certain metaphorical way. “I love you,” he replies in a murmur, smile to Taehyung’s lips, “I’m glad you like these. I thought they’d suit the release of your album.”

“They’re perfect,” Taehyung nods and hugs him again as they stand before one of the pictures entitled ‘shared intimacy’. It’s Jeongguk’s favorite. “Is it bad that I want to hang them all in our living room?”

A chuckle escapes Jeongguk’s lips, happy. “I have them printed at home already. I wanted you to have them, too, so you can do whatever you’d like with them.” 

“Good,” Taehyung nods and hugs him again. 

There’s an announcement then that says that the exhibition is about to close, so Jeongguk drops a kiss on Taehyung’s forehead before he goes to say goodbye to everyone that came. Something tells him that this might also be the start of something great for him.

— ✧ —

The second Taehyung stepped out of the car, he knew that he was going to be spotted, recognized, and photographed. Part of him felt guilty, because this was Jeongguk’s moment and he didn’t want to ruin that with his presence, but he also wanted to be there, support him and show him how proud he is of everything he’s accomplished, following his dream until he’s made it come true. 

When he steps into the building, he sees him straight away, glowing and talking with someone who looks like they’re important. Taehyung takes the opportunity to snap a picture of him, then, unaware of his presence, but with his art displayed around every wall. 

Whispers of his name must make their way to Jeongguk because he turns to find his eyes and they immediately light up. 

And Taehyung doesn’t care about anything else right there and then. Everyone else disappears, the voices, the cameras, the eyes on them. Nothing else matters. 

It’s just them, and Taehyung throws himself in his arms, hugging him tightly and almost ruining the flowers in the process. 

And it all gets even more overwhelming when he asks the same question that the last reporter asked him in his press conference, because even when he was hosting his own event now, he still found the time to check on him, on his album. 

So, as he told Yoongi he would, he did some more damage, but he’d do it a million times over, with no regrets. 

He kissed Jeongguk and felt the shock in his expression before he melted into it, chuckling, asking if it was okay. 

And maybe Taehyung would have to deal with some backlash because of it, but he doesn’t care, now. He loves him so much, the more people that know, the better. He’s tired of hiding. 

That’s why, after Jeongguk has shown him around and the exhibition announces that it’s about to close and Jeongguk leaves him there on his own to say goodbye to the remaining guests, he gets his phone out and ignores every text he has from Yoongi, Jimin, his siblings, his managers… and he opens instagram. 

He’s got so many favorite pictures from Jeongguk that’s hard to find a good one, but he decides to use the one he took when he walked into the exhibition for the first one, and post a few more domestic ones after that before he starts typing. 

He lets his heart speak, the same way he’s always done. 

“I think that today is a day that I will remember for as long as I live. A day where my name will probably be in everyone’s mouths, one way or another. I want to thank you all for loving my album and for loving me, but I want to thank someone else, too. There’s no way this album could’ve seen the light of day without him, there’s no way I would’ve found the way through my darkness, either. He’s my home, my best friend (sorry Jimin), my love. The special someone I want to sing all my love songs to. Thank you for coming to my house and making it a home. Thank you for mending all my parts and making me whole. Thank you for being the light within my darkness, Jeongguk.” 

Before he presses ‘post’ and tags Jeongguk as well, he looks up and sees him smiling back at him, probably at something one of the men said. Taehyung smiles back and posts it. Taking a video of the exhibition, stopping in front of the ‘shared intimacy’ picture and smiling, posting it on his story and adding the location and typing “ for an enhanced experience of my album, check out this exhibition too. the photographer is kinda talented ♡ ”  and he also adds his song to the story.

And, after all of it is posted, he turns off his phone, because Jeongguk is making his way back to him and nothing else in the world will ever matter more than that. 

“Let’s go home?” He asks, and Taehyung nods, wrapping his arms around Jeongguk’s neck and pulling him down enough to kiss his lips. 

“Let’s go home.” 

And, in each other’s arms, they do. 

Chapter Text

“And the album of the year goes to… The Darkness Within from Kim Taehyung!” the announcer screams and it takes a few seconds for Taehyung to react. The fans scream, his song plays, and he stands up but it’s as if someone else is controlling his body as he gets on the stage to get his very first daesang. 

He looks around to the crowd who are still screaming as he tries to land back in the moment. Tries to be present enough not to make a fool of himself and be able to say something. 

“Wow,” is the first thing that he feels like he can say. “It’s been a hell of a year, hasn’t it?” He chuckles and looks at the award that has his name written on it and the name of his album, too. Although his album was released last year, it was so late into the year that it did not qualify for a nomination that year, and Taehyung thought it wouldn’t for this one, either, since he released some more songs since then, but it did. And here he is. 

“I don’t—I don’t know what to say,” he admits. “Well, yes, I do, I just, wow. Okay, first of all, I want to thank Yoongi hyung and everyone at SG Entertainment for helping me out with the album, for making sure that it got released the way I wanted. Thank you for believing in me, in my vision and in my art. I want to say thank you of course to the fans who bought the album, listened to the songs and made them their own, too. May the darkness you find yourselves into fade with time. I love you, you are not alone, remember that,” the screams grow louder, then and it allows him time to take a deep breath before he smiles, feeling emotional about what’s about to say next. “And… of course, I couldn’t step down from this stage without thanking my special someone,” the fans go crazy again and he chuckles against the mic. “You already know who it is, huh?” And, unexpectedly, they all scream Jeongguk’s name and it makes his heart swell with pride. “That’s right. Jeongguk. Thank you for always believing in me as well, for keeping me company while I stay up all night working on songs and for coming with me to my filmings across the world so that I don’t feel lonely. For being the best partner anyone could ask for and for never giving up on your dreams either. I love you, this one’s for you, too.” He looks at the camera, knowing that he’s probably watching or he’ll watch after he’s done working. “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he bows after that and lets some tears fall, eternal gratitude filling his heart. 

He gets taken backstage but he still doesn’t believe that what just happened, happened. 

“The show is over, Taehyung-ssi,” Hoonjae, his bodyguard, tells him once he’s down and has taken some pictures with all the trophies he managed to win tonight. And he smiles.

“Drive me home, then.” 

Home, where he is.

— ♤ —

Jeongguk had made sure to leave work in time for the Album of the Year announcement. He couldn’t be present physically, although he would have wanted nothing more than to be by Taehyung’s side at that moment, so he immediately went home to turn on the TV and watch it live. 

Obviously, he had no doubts that Taehyung would win—no matter how many times Taehyung tried to reason and tell him that the possibilities of him winning were low because of the release date. It was a way for them to not feel disappointed, but Jeongguk never stopped believing in him. 

And he was right.

Sitting on the couch, sparkling eyes glued to the screen, Jeongguk holds his breath the whole time, his heart thumping loudly when the announcer gives it a few seconds of suspense. His hands are balled into tight fists, ready to celebrate, and when Taehyung’s name drops, Jeongguk jumps to his feet with an excited cheer.

“I knew it!” Jeongguk screams excitedly, startling the dogs that were lying by his feet—Yeontan, and the new addition to the family, Bam, a still very young Doberman. Both of them seem to quickly share Jeongguk’s excitement although they don’t understand what’s going on, and Jeongguk can’t help but start dancing with them.

Taehyung did it. On his own. 

The speech prompts Jeongguk to stand still, lip trapped between his teeth and tears brimming his eyes. I love you, he wants to tell Taehyung for the millionth time. I love you so much. He can’t help but join the audience by clapping, sniffling with a wide beam on his face. Proud. Relieved. Happy.

There’s still time before Taehyung comes home, and Jeongguk is quick to get to work and get ready to welcome his lover.

His fiancé.

— ✧ —

The way up in the elevator always feels like a breath of fresh air, knowing that in a few minutes he’s gonna be with his family. 

Yeontan’s barks are the first thing that he hears when he reaches their floor, and he laughs. After so many years, and the little fur ball is still the same. The only difference is that there are other, less high-pitched barks that accompany him. Baby Bam. 

Taehyung still remembers very clearly the day they adopted him. Jeongguk had always talked about wanting a big dog, and Taehyung always feared for Yeontan’s safety if that were the case, but he was just a baby when they got him, fit right in between their palms easily. Now he’s much bigger, but he still thinks he’s a small dog, the contrary of Yeontan. Their dynamic is adorable and Taehyung loves them so much. 

When he gets the door open, the smell of homemade food reaches him and he smiles. 

He definitely is home, now. 

“Hello?” Taehyung chuckles when both puppies run to him and almost kick him down to the floor. “Hi, hi, babies,” he kneels down to let Bam reach his face and Yeontan rest his paws on his knees. “Where’s daddy?” He asks as if the dogs understood him, as if they could reply. 

“Congratulations!” Jeongguk’s voice reaches him before he appears with a wide beam on his face, holding a cutely decorated cake where Taehyung can read Album Of The Year along with adorable doodles of their dogs, and an equally adorable depiction of the both of them—a tiger for Taehyung, and a bunny for Jeongguk. A family. 

“ Were you watching?” Taehyung asks as he stands up much to their dog's displeasure and heads to where Jeongguk is, thankfully putting the cake down so that he can hold Taehyung instead when he hugs him. “Thank you.” 

“Of course, how could I not? I knew you’d win,” Jeongguk tells when he kisses Taehyung, their smiles making it hard for them to deepen the kiss. “Your speech made me cry, too,” he admits with a faint chuckle.

“Did you hear the crowd calling your name?” Taehyung smiles, not knowing if it could be heard through the screen the way he heard it there. He hopes he did. “You were there with me, you know?” And he caresses his face, the silver band on his finger brushing against Jeongguk’s cheek. 

They’ve been together for over a year now, almost two, and although Taehyung did get some looks for jumping into this too soon, he didn’t care. He was already living his dream life with a lovely family, nothing was going to change that. 

“I did,” Jeongguk nods, reaching to take Taehyung’s hand into his own, and caressing the rings they’ve exchanged with a smile full of love. “It all feels so surreal,” he breathes out, and looks back into Taehyung’s eyes, “I feel like I’m falling in love with you all over again, every single day.”

“And we still have forever, darling,” Taehyung whispers and brushes their noses together before he kisses him again, deep, trying to convey all the feelings, all the words he would love to say to Jeongguk but that, deep down, he knows that he doesn’t need to say them, that he already knows. After so long together, there’s nothing he doesn’t know. 

There’s a whining sound at their feet and it makes Taehyung laugh. 

“Your son demands your attention, it seems,” Taehyung looks down and sees Bam looking at them with his puppy eyes that Taehyung always jokes that he’s got them from Jeongguk. Taehyung has a hard time saying no to either of them.

Jeongguk reaches to scratch Bam’s head with an amused laugh, before he takes the cake back into his hands to guide them to the living room. “Come on, let’s eat! We’ll have all night to celebrate it between the two of us,” he adds when Taehyung comes closer again to kiss him, smiling into it. Taehyung hums against his lips and presses another quick kiss. 

“I like the sound of that. But I also like the sound of eating, it smells delicious and I haven’t eaten all day,” Taehyung admits and chuckles, heading to the living room where he finds the table full and ready for them. “When did you have the time to do all this? Weren’t you at the gallery all day?” Taehyung turns, feeling touched. “How did it go, by the way?” 

“I prepared everything before leaving so that I could cook this as soon as I got home,” Jeongguk tells with a satisfied smile, his eyes sparkling at Taehyung’s question. “Wonderful! Do you remember this well-known creative director from Seoul? I finally signed to be the official photograph in his team! This is huge, love!”

“Oh, my God!” Taehyung gasps. “That’s—That’s amazing, baby!” And he hugs him again. It feels like, after all, his arms are always the best place for him to be. 

Jeongguk has been working so hard on his photography career ever since he finished his classes at college, and although Taehyung suggested to help him, to introduce him to people in the industry that he’s worked for or with before, Jeongguk never wanted to accept his help. Wanted to make it on his own, and Taehyung didn’t push because he never doubted that he will. 

He is so talented and his pictures are gorgeous. He still remembers the very first exhibition he had, the one that accompanied his album. It was a huge success, so much that he got many calls after that. Some of the pictures from that one are still decorating their walls, which maybe should be embarrassing, but isn’t. Taehyung is incredibly proud of him and he would frame all his pictures if their walls could fit them. 

“I told you he’d be dumb not to get you!” He sighs, still in his arms, feeling emotional for some reason. 

They’ve come so far, both of them. As individuals, as artists, as humans, and together. 

Jeongguk’s chest vibrates with a happy laugh, tightening his embrace around Taehyung. “You did. You told me,” he confirms, and reaches for Taehyung’s face to look into his eyes, staring for a moment as if he’s taking in today’s events. “We made it,” he ends up whispering, leaning in for a kiss, “together.”

“Together, forever,” Taehyung nods.

And it feels like the easiest promise to keep, because theirs is a story that will live on, a love story that makes ancient humans regret not living to see, the kind of love people tend to write songs about, just like Taehyung has, hundreds of them, by now. The kind of love that, once you find it, you know you must hold onto it forever because it makes you a better version of yourself. 

So the promise of forever is easy, because Taehyung can’t and won’t ever imagine his life without Jeongguk in it. Without his bright eyes, his charming smile, his loud laugh and his warm embraces. His sweet kisses and his calming touches. His late nights and early mornings. 

Can’t imagine his life without their shared intimacy, and he knows that he doesn’t need to, because Jeongguk feels exactly the same way. 

Taehyung finds Jeongguk’s hand, then, the one where his ring is, and brushes it. 

“You make me happy, you know that?” Taehyung asks, softly. Feels like he has to. 

And it makes Jeongguk break into a wide beam, eyes shining with that pure and honest love. “And you make me happy. The happiest man alive. Spending a lifetime with you is the greatest gift this universe could have offered me. I love you, and only you, Kim Taehyung.”

“I mean, you better love only me, ” Taehyung teases him, then, hands on his now-longer hair. “Although our dogs deserve some love, too, look at them,” he pouts and turns to look at Bam, trying to fit himself in Tannie’s bed and Tan resigned and laying on top of him.

“They’re adorable,” Jeongguk laughs at the sight, endeared, and turns to look into Taehyung’s eyes again. “But you’re the most adorable to my eyes,” he tells when he catches Taehyung’s lower lip between his teeth, amused, and kisses him again. “The prettiest. The funniest. The most talented and hard-working artist.” And between two slow kisses, he adds, just as lovingly, “The love of my life.”

“I’m already marrying you, babe, no need to flatter me,” he chuckles and presses another kiss on his lips. “But I love you, too. I’ll never get tired of thanking you for loving me at my worst and for staying through all of that, too, even when you didn’t need to. Even when I’d been such a dick to you since day one.” 

“You don’t have to thank me when loving you has always been this easy,” Jeongguk replies, hands coming up to caress Taehyung’s cheeks. “And I like that I fought for your love too,” he laughs, “I’ll never blame you for anything. But I will thank you for letting me into your life. For allowing me to live by your side.”

“I’m glad my shitty company hired you, I think it’s the only good thing they ever did,” he chuckles, then. “After all, no records or awards come close to how lucky I am to have you.” 

“We really were lucky enough to find each other at the right time.” Jeongguk hands drop to Taehyung’s thighs, suddenly lifting him from the ground and spinning them once with a wide, overjoyed smile. “I love you,” he confesses again, and again, “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

And Taehyung laughs, holding onto him for dear life while their dogs also spin around them. 

As the world keeps spinning around them, Taehyung is certain that this is a memory that will live in his heart for as long as he lives. With Jeongguk at the center of his universe like the sun to his earth, always in orbit. 

And he knows that years will pass, seasons will change, but they will remain evergreen. As in love as they were the very first night they spent together. 

Taehyung knows that, without a doubt, their story will live on forever .