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If you had asked Uzumaki Naruto how it all began, he wouldn’t specifically know where to start, or from what. People would surely call it a shameful retelling, yet he can’t deny that it’d be one he would hold with pride. Stupid pride. Stubborn pride.
But, if he were to really do it, if he were to really go down to the fundamentals of the whole shitshow, Naruto guesses that the first to kickstart it for him would be Inuzuka Kiba himself, and his absolutely idiotic fixations.
“Today is the day!” Kiba announces happily once he gets out of the shared showers. His towel barely stands on his hips, and the whole locker is filled with groans because of it. “Fellas, we will finally know the truth. We will be stripped bare, completely and utterly exposed.”
“What are you on about?” Shikamaru grouses, expression taking on that done quality that only the Nara could possess. The one that tells you just how insufferable your existence is to him right now. “Just leave it for later. All I want is to go back to the dorms and take a fucking nap.”
Kiba’s response is a loud, prosperous laugh that holds all the enthusiasm and none of his usual hot-headedness, which should probably be a warning of some kind. He completely passes by Shikamaru and his twitching eye, ass bouncing with his steps as he opens his locker wide. Naruto stretches his lips in a straight line, busying himself with putting on clean socks, and tries to keep quiet even though he kind of wants to chuckle.
“He’s not going to leave it alone,” Choji mutters, eyeing Kiba carefully from his own locker, the shirt he was going to put over his head totally forgotten in the face of Kiba’s weird little sounds of anticipation.
“Of course he isn’t,” Neji doesn’t even bother an attempt at continuing to dress himself. He simply crosses his arms over his naked chest, staring at their vibrating friend with contempt through his wild, sweaty strands. “You have five minutes before I leave, Inuzuka.”
“No one fucking leave!” Kiba spreads his arms in a sign of stop, and this time his towel really does slip. It makes Shikamaru groan loudly and look towards the ceiling in prayer. Naruto sighs, and leans back on the bench. “This is fucking serious, you assholes. You will want to know this.”
“Just get on with it,” Neji snips at him testily.
If it’s possible, it makes Kiba’s grin even larger. He steps over his towel, all of his dangling bits out, and shows them the lit screen of his phone. The closest one to him, sweetheart Rock Lee, who only had amusement for this whole thing, squints at it, and promptly makes a whole different face - it’s wonderfully revolted.
“What is Konoha’s Legendary Polls, and why is there a cocky-looking penis in the corner-”
“No,” Choji croaks, going from cautious to completely horrified. “Not this.”
“Yes this,” Kiba cackles, and lifts the phone in the air like it’s going to properly ascend. “The results are in! Our fellow students have spoken! Guys, I signed all of you in, so-”
“You what ?” Let it be known here that Neji is not one to be bothered by much, or many, yet right now his pale eyes have murder stitched into them, and it’s glowing.
It nearly makes Naruto rethink speaking up, but from the way Kiba’s eyes are bulging out with excitement, and Shikamaru’s disgust is so visible it almost drips out of his nose, ears and mouth, he concludes that he just can’t abstain himself.
“Please,” he begins, like the polite man his mom raised him to be. All eyes shift onto him. “You need to tell me what this is. I need to know if I’m equally ready to fuck you up, or if I’m going to join your side.”
Choji gives a pleading gaze, as if silently asking him to not go there, but it’s overshadowed by Kiba’s sudden indignation as he almost jumps over Naruto on the bench. He hovers, though, naked to the bone, and Naruto has the urge to push him away with his foot.
“You don’t know ?” He demands. Naruto would have felt intimidated, if he even had one fuck to give about Kiba and his unknown standards. The blond gives a shrug, and Kiba looks ready to lose his mind. “How? Naruto, how ?”
“Because you’re the only moron remotely interested in this shitty contest,” Shikamaru says, throwing his spare towel towards the Inuzuka. “And cover yourself, for god’s sake. I really don’t care about your dick, or if it’s the most praised.”
“Is this what Konoha’s most legendary is about?” Naruto chokes out, a laugh already flooding his entire mouth. He has the decency to cover his mouth at Kiba’s sullen glare, but that’s the extent of it. “No, c’mon, man. Really, a dick measuring contest?”
“Yes,” Neji’s knuckles give an impressive crack as he clenches his fingers, veins shifting up his arm. “And he put all of us on the roster.”
“ No,” Kiba denies, amusingly offended for some reason. He absentmindedly puts the towel around his middle, before sitting beside Naruto in a rush. Ironically enough, the other guys begin surrounding them as well, despite their clear displeasure at all this. “I mean, yes, I put you all in, but only because I’m a curious piece of shit, okay? But it’s not only about that, and you assholes know it! Naruto, listen, Konoha’s Legendary is all about gossip, alright? They’re annual polls made on that famous Konoha University blog, Hokage’s Shameless Orders, that contains all the drama happening around us, and they’re about almost anything. From the Konoha’s Legendary Mind to Konoha’s Legendary Jock, Konoha’s Legendary Lay, Konoha’s Legendary Nerd- So many, dude! Everyone is talking about it, how the fuck are you so out of the loop?”
Naruto resists the urge to scratch at his nape, “I guess I’m not that active on social media? Dunno-”
“You don’t need to be!” Kiba tugs him closer with an arm around his neck, stare growing insistent. “It’s everywhere, man. Everywhere. Really, how the fuck-”
“Would you get on with it?” Surprisingly, it’s Choji who says it. He looks ready to get out of his own skin with how much he’s fretting.
And just like that, Kiba’s attention focuses elsewhere, accompanied by a salacious smirk that makes Choji squirm even more. “You want to know the results just as much as me, don’t you, Choj’? Don’t worry, I’m sure you won on something as well. But with how often I got laid this year, the Legendary Dick one is all mi-"
“For fuck’s sake-” Before any of them can blink, or Choji can splutter his protests, Shikamaru snatches Kiba’s phone in a flash, earning himself a revolted hey, and begins scrolling through the blog.
Naruto’s sure Kiba would have assaulted the poor man to take his phone back, if Shikamaru’s expression wouldn’t have began looking more and more dumbstruck the longer he scrolled. The atmosphere around them becomes ridiculously thick, as if they’re all holding their breaths for their friend to finally say something.
“Well?” Kiba jolts with his impatience, appearing a little crazed. Naruto slowly inches away from him with a side eye. “Shikamaru!”
Shikamaru stares at the screen, lips tucking in with shocking amazement. The only thing coming out of his mouth is a soft, “Damn.”
“What?” Kiba stands up, towel falling to the ground yet again. He looks ready to foam at the mouth. “ What? ”
The Nara finally offers them a look, shifting from impressed to utterly aloof in one second, though when he stares Kiba in the eye, there’s a derisive twitch on his lips.
“Today’s the day for sure,” he drawls, and throws Kiba his phone back with a casual gesture. The way he puts his hands in his pockets shows just how mirthful he is about something. “But not for you. Or any of us. Tough luck, bud.”
“What? I didn’t win anything? No, that isn’t possible. Just-” Kiba scrambles to open the device, and take a look himself. His fingers fly over the screen. “Alright, whatever, I didn’t care about the stereotypical polls, I just want to- What? No, this can’t be- What the fuck is this? ”
They all watch with various expressions as Kiba falls to his knees with the most pathetic of moans, clutching at his hair in the it’s-the-end-of-the-world style, aside from Shikamaru, who just snorts like it’s all a good joke.
“Alright, what’s going on?” Neji lifts an unimpressed eyebrow, and Shikamaru throws him a look over his shoulder, the lazy smirk thriving on his mouth.
“A guy won 80 percent of the polls this year. Including both Konoha’s Legendary Dick and Lay,” he begins, and his smirk widens considerably so when his eyes settle on Naruto, who moved to take a gulp of his water bottle. “And his name is Uchiha Sasuke.”
He chokes. Hard. Water and spit fly out of his mouth, right down the shirt he just put on. Naruto covers his mouth, heaving with the power of his coughs, and weakly glares at a very smug Nara Shikamaru.
Lee’s round, innocent eyes glimmer like he unlocked all the secrets of the earth. It’s weirdly enthusiastic. “Isn’t that the guy you always want to beat up in your English-”
“What t-the fuck,” Naruto croaks after he feels like he can breathe. “ What- ”
“But I had so many good one-night stands!” Kiba bemoans to the ceiling. “Girls were giggling when I passed by them in the halls! Giggling !”
So that is how it began, kind of. Naruto had been doomed from the start, he just didn’t know it at first.
The rest, however, just makes it worse.
“Of course he won,” Sakura huffs, sitting right next to a startled Naruto at the lunch table. He almost asks about her frustration, only to get his mind off his, but then she goes on her tangent. “You think I didn’t notice? One look from him and you wet your fucking panties. Stop being sulky, you’re part of the rumors.”
Ino sits in front of them with a very aggressive slap of her tray, and glowers at Sakura, “Pot calling the kettle black much?”
“It was just a kiss!” Sakura’s hypothetical feathers ruffle along with her bristle. Naruto once again finds himself inching farther away from one of his friends, yet this time he does it slowly, like he can’t believe what he’s hearing. Frankly, he actually can’t. “One stupid kiss in a game of spin the bottle. He’s good with his tongue, alright? I didn’t mean to- to-”
“Moan like a broken pornographic recording?” Ino taunts, expression growing wicked. “It’s alright, dear. Your kiss is nothing compared to what others are saying he did. Now who’s the one being sulky?”
Staring at his salad in undiluted horror, Naruto finds himself whispering, “Please tell me you’re not actually talking about what I think you’re talking about.”
Both of them turn their heads towards him, as if they just now notice his presence. Sakura grows pinker than the nuance of her hair, a stammer at the tip of her tongue, but Ino just slaps a hand on the middle of the table with resolution, staring at Naruto intensely. He stares back, astonished.
“You talk to Sasuke frequently, don’t you?” Ino slowly asks, voice rough with random hostility. “Tell me, Naruto. Have you ever seen him with that bitch, Karin? You need to tell me right now-”
“I-We don’t talk. We can’t stand each other!” Naruto’s hands flap around with frustration, before he brings one to flip his hair off his forehead. “Karin? Who? What the fuck is even-”
“She boasts about it so loudly!” Ino’s smile is a scary thing, it twitches at one corner with deranged meanings. Even Sakura is starting to show concern. “Saying he had fucked her not once, not twice, but five times! That he’s a beast, that he’s the best. That he put her in that position, then in another. No. She’s lying. He wouldn’t touch a woman like her with a ten-foot pole. Right? Right? ”
He opens his mouth, yet nothing but a small, pitiful sound gets out.
“Ino.” Sakura puts a hand on Naruto’s nape, scratching at it like you’d do with a wild, scared cat. His shoulders lower from their high position near his ears. “Calm down. Poor Naruto doesn’t have anything to do with this. Don’t let her get to you.”
For a second, Ino deflates like a balloon, looking down at her meal with frowning resignation that almost puts him at ease. But then, something on her face twists, like a storm on the horizon, and she stands up with her hands braced against the table in front of them, livid to the core once more.
“But you talk to him often!” She exclaims, looking a bit pleading, and much more unstable. “Naruto-”
“I fight with him!” Naruto hollers back with mounting exasperation.
“Guys,” Sakura tries, albeit too soft for it to do anything other than be ignored.
“That’s still communicating. You can at least ask him-”
“ We can’t stand each other, ” it gets out with a groan, more like a screech, and Naruto puts his hands in front of his eyes, attempting to block out everything, but especially the eerie, insistent stare that Ino fixed on him. “I won’t ask him if he had sex with anyone, Ino! Are you fucking hearing yourself?”
A moment passes, before he hears a heavy thump. Naruto peeks between his fingers, and sees a defeated Ino resting her whole upper body on the table, with puffy cheeks and a dark gaze to boot.
“Whatever,” Ino mutters. “I will find out one way or another. Just you wait, Karin. I will bring you shame .”
“What is going on?” He asks meekly, to no one in particular, but Sakura hears it all the same.
She sighs, draws light circles against her temples, then over her eyes, as Ino continues to mumble darkly to herself, “You don’t even know.”
No, he doesn’t. He has not the slightest idea. And he kind of wants it to remain like that, if possible.
It doesn’t.
The next one happens when he’s at the old vend machine in block B, trying and failing to get himself a coke.
“My best friend’s cousin slept with him just about two months ago!” The hurried, excited whisper slithers up his ears without consent, and Naruto freezes completely, a wrinkled bill in his hand. “She said she couldn’t walk straight for weeks, Nina. How big does he have to be for you to feel him after weeks?”
“Pretty fucking big,” the one proclaimed Nina snorts, and horrifyingly enough her voice takes on a more dreamy tone. “God, I want to see it. Just once. He doesn’t even have to fuck me, he can just let me suck-”
A crash is heard. Then another one. And another one. The two girls startle, and blink owlishly over at the strange blond who’s constantly hitting his head against the buzzing vending machine.
Naruto doesn’t stop, not until Lee comes in a panic and stops him, confusedly asking what happened, Naruto-kun? Did you have a surprise quizz? It’s alright, those don’t matter much for the final grade-
He can’t escape it. Everywhere he goes, it just keeps going.
“He’s into bondage. My brother’s best friend said that he tied her up and fucked her like that for hours-”
“No, I’m telling you. He’s bi! The guy in the dorm next to mine moaned his name so hard last month. It sounded like Sasuke was fucking him against every surface possible-”
“-heard he doesn’t fuck someone twice-”
“What? No, he fucked me three times already! And you bet I’m going for more. I have him on speed dial-”
“My friend Kuza told me Sasuke was the one to get him into omorashi. Can you believe-”
“He’s so big, girl. As thick as a wine bottle-”
“I want him to fuck me so bad. Do you think he’s into-”
“They say he fucked a third of the student body-”
“He has a monster cock-“
“12 inches of heaven-“
“Such a big dick-“
“Monstrous dick-“
“-I want that big cock to-“
“That’s it,” Naruto snarls, closing his locker so hard that it rattled through his whole body. Choji jumps on the spot, looking at him like he’s ready for an explosion of big proportions. With how Naruto is heaving, there’s no wonder. “I’m fucking done. No. No, I’m not done. I’m just starting.”
“Starting what?” Choji asks weakly, seemingly already regretting his curiosity when Naruto turns towards him, expression wide and truthfully desperate.
Taking his sweaty friend by the collar of his soaked shirt, Naruto tugs him closer, meeting fearful eyes with his own wide, blue eyes.
“I need to know,” Naruto whispers, and shakes Choji softly, making the big guy clutch at his wrists with a soft sound. “I need to fucking know if it’s all true, Choj’. I can’t anymore. It’s like every corner has someone whispering about Uchiha Sasuke’s dick and how big, how good it is. It started appearing in my dreams! I need to know!”
Letting go, Naruto rubs at his face, and then sets his determined expression on the silly stickers spread all over his locker. He stares at it for a few moments, before Choji’s tentative voice resounds again, slightly trembling.
“And h-how are you going to find out?”
With a calm head turn, Naruto blinks. “What do you mean how? It’s a dick, Choji. I’m going to have sex with him, of course.”
Choji, bless him, looks like he half expected it, and half like he can’t believe what Naruto is spewing out so casually. He parts his mouth a few times, and the sweat dripping down his face doesn’t seem to be from the mock match they just had anymore. “You- Just- Just because you want to know?”
Naruto crosses his arms, nods. “Yes.”
“Do you even want to, at least?” The exasperated hope in Choji’s eyes is loud.
The often mocking smirk painting Sasuke’s mouth when they bicker comes to his mind, that half-lidded gaze as it settles on Naruto and doesn’t stray for even a second, witty words falling out his mouth in that lilting, low voice of his. Then, the annoyed set of his jaw, the stares he can offer - heavy, scorching with entertained irk sometimes.
Naruto hums, mostly to himself, and tilts his head to the right, eyes closed for a moment.
“Yes,” he admits at least, soft and intimate. “I want him.”
He wants, needs and has to know if Uchiha Sasuke’s dick is really worth it. Truly Konoha’s Legendary Dick. It’s a must at this point. Naruto won’t rest properly until he has it, in him.
Inside his fucking ass. All of it.
Now, all he has to do is actually, as you would say on a normal Tuesday morning, acquire the dick.
Uzumaki Naruto seldom doesn’t get along with other people. He’s been signified as one of Konoha’s social butterflies for a reason. Hell, he even found out that he won Konoha’s Legendary Jock, which, whatever really, but it has to mean something to other people if they voted for him.
Now, everywhere, at any time, exceptions can appear. And Naruto learned that his was and still is Uchiha Sasuke. The handsome, rich jerk who always has to contradict him whenever they have debates in the English class they share. Naruto is not really that sore of a loser, he knows when his point is great, and when others have equally valuable opinions. Debates are meant to be all about that. He loves them, really. Loves some friendly arguing.
But there’s this thing about Sasuke, his know-it-all tone, and his vain glance whenever he butts in to counter Naruto specifically. All the damn time. It makes him boil like no one ever did before. They clashed, hard, and continue to do so almost every time they have English together. Their classmates don’t even bother anymore, and simply stare at them whenever they get into it, seeming to enjoy it like you’d enjoy a night show. Not to mention their poor teacher, who is too overwhelmed to even attempt to stop them. Many say that English B class is a whole shitshow, and to stray away from it.
It’s become a habit, at this point. Sitting opposite desks and getting ready to put one another to shame.
But today, the habit breaks. It caves under heavier, more important impulses. Naruto is ready for it to become the past as he takes a seat right next to Uchiha Sasuke, and not on the other side of the room. Some of the other students around them halt and gawk, expressions looking as if they’re expecting an all-out war. Even Sasuke stops his light scribbling, blinking towards Naruto with nothing sort of hostile, only surprise.
It dissolves fast, of course, and that arrogant eyebrow lift makes Naruto’s vexation twitch to life for just a few seconds. “Do you need something?”
“Do you hate me?” Naruto asks, straight to the point. He just needs to know, for the sake of his next moves. His future plans. His chances.
Sasuke stares, like he can’t quite compute the question directed at him, before he once again schools his features. Into suspicion, of all things. This guy really loves to make Naruto thirsting after him a hard task.
“You irritate me,” Sasuke responds, calmly. “But it’s not enough for me to hate you, no. Why?”
Sliding a bit closer, just a tad bit, Naruto leans forward, gives Sasuke a sharp, fierce glance that makes the Uchiha swallow. Quite an alluring gesture. It makes his throat stand out, pale skin and stark dips that Naruto wouldn’t mind tracing his tongue over.
“Is that all you think of me? That I’m irritating?” The mute disappointment in his tone seems to make Sasuke’s cheek twitch softly. “C’mon, Uchiha. You can do better than that.”
“You’re confusing the shit out of me right now, Naruto,” Sasuke says lowly, dark eyes roaming all over Naruto’s face like he wished to find a clear answer. They fix in certain spots - interesting.
Like a knee-jerk reaction, Naruto grins, a little mean, “What can I say, that’s not really a difficult achievement.”
Someone inhales sharply from behind them, just as Sasuke’s gaze goes from slightly narrow to downright murderous in a second. He shifts to face the blond properly, legs spreading even more and it takes all the power Naruto has within himself to not look down at the bulge he surely packs between his legs.
“I rectify,” The Uchina says, tone pure ice. “You’re not irritating. You’re a fucking menace to society and to my mental stability. Are you satisfied?”
“Boring,” Naruto hums, smiling sweetly - it feels like anything but, and Sasuke looks ready to wipe it off his face. Please, do so. “Like usual.”
“Fuck you,” Sasuke says, and it gets out like a sort of growl that actually gives him fucking butterflies. All fluttery in his tummy. Woah, okay.
“Yes, fuck me,” Naruto blurts, head totally empty. He blinks, realizes his slip, and meets Sasuke’s shocked expression with a small sound of total innocence. “I mean, you wish .”
“I…” Confusion on Sasuke looks too adorable, for it’s not a usual emotion shown by him, and Naruto concludes that he needs to leave him speechless more often. That is going to be a side quest to his Dick Acquirement mission.
“Naruto,” Sayori, the girl that often sits next to him, hisses towards them, eyes bulging with anxiety - probably for what this whole conversation will become if she leaves them be. “The professor is in the hallway. Come on, please. You two can- talk during free period.”
Sighing, Naruto turns again towards Sasuke, and is shortly left fumbling from the newfound intensity in his dark eyes. They are staring like he’s trying to get to the core of Naruto’s soul, or his chaotism. He hopes they find what they’re looking for, and adds a rough, sheepish grin for aid.
“Catch you later,” he says, head tilted in a teasing little salute. Sasuke doesn’t respond, but curiously enough, his fingers twitch over his notebook, inching oh so subtly in Naruto’s direction.
Hm.
For the rest of the class, Naruto sits with his own thoughts. He receives many unnerved glances at the unusual silence, especially when the debate part comes and he does absolutely nothing.
Most of them are from Sasuke, and Naruto can’t contain his impish little smile.
Suigetsu is, truth to be told, a little afraid of Konoha University and its body of students. He has his own reasons. Knows enough strange, frightening people from there to be entirely fed up without even being one to attend it, not to mention their obsessive competitions and the fuckton of drama that increases with every day that passes.
And Sasuke proves his point once again about it when he enters the dorm they share, muttering all over the place with one the most constipated expressions the Uchina has ever made. It scares him to the bone.
“I don’t even want to know,” he says without waiting a second more, lifting his hands in surrender. Big mistake.
Sasuke lifts his troubled gaze from where he was taking his shoes off clumsily, and promptly explodes.
“What do you do when you don’t know if you want to throttle someone or kiss the fuck out of them?”
“You do both. But in a hot way,” Suigetsu says, all wise and such. He gets completely ignored.
“I can’t- He’s just so- What is he trying to do, all of a sudden? He insults me, then he admits he wants me to- No, I don’t want to think about that. He was clearly playing with me. But then? All those little smiles? And no debate fighting? It’s like he’s trying to make some sort of weird peace with me! Then, then- He doesn’t even look at me anymore? He leaves the classroom without even a blink towards me?“
Sasuke makes a frustrated sound, muffling it poorly between gritted teeth, and throws his school bag onto his bed like it did him very wrong. The things he was carrying almost drop out of it.
“Alright.” Suigetsu turns with his chair towards Sasuke, watching him undress aggressively with an interested quirk of his eyebrow. “Now I want to know. Tell me who is blowing your mind so hard.”
Sasuke stops, shirt twisted over his bulging arms, and gives Suigetsu a blank stare.
“Uzumaki Naruto,” is all he spits out, low and guttural.
“Ah, yep,” Suigetsu’s chair rotates away. “Nevermind. I don’t want to know anymore. I’m done here.”
Sasuke turns back to his barely-contained breakdown, and Suigetsu has the sudden inkling that nobody is done here. Not even him.
A shiver goes up his spine. Fucking Konoha students.
Another day, another tactic.
“How do you successfully flirt with someone?” Naruto muses out loud around the straw of his milkshake, staring thoughtfully at their busy lunch table.
“You write them a beautiful love letter!” Lee exclaims.
“You send them nudes,” Kiba snorts, receiving an affronted gasp for their bowl-cut-haired friend.
“You compliment them at every opportunity,” Choji offers tentatively.
“Successful flirting is subjective,” Shikamaru mutters with half a mouth, face buried in his calculations. “It depends on the person you’re flirting with-“
“I say you act coy and see where it gets you,” Sakura smiles amusingly.
“None of that. Ask them on a date and that’s it,” Ino huffs, looking at all of them like they’re a lost cause. Then, she proceeds to squint at him. “Wait, why?”
Naruto contemplates all their answers, deems all of them utterly useless, and nods to himself, before standing up. He takes the half-finished milkshake, puts it in the hand of a very confused Lee, and then makes said confused Lee throw it all over Naruto’s chest.
Lee makes a horrified sound, looking at Naruto like he was coerced in an awful crime, while all their friends just stare, dumbfounded.
“Thank you,” Naruto says, smiling brightly and patting Lee on the shoulder. He feels the shake nearly drip over his pants as well. Alright, time to hurry. “Now, if you can excuse me. The swimming team just finished practice, right?”
All he needs is to receive Kiba's mute nod, before he starts walking towards their overly familiar locker rooms. He hears Ino sputtering after him with curious indignation that makes him snort, but he doesn’t stop even for a second.
This is a gamble, but he’s all for them.
When he enters, he doesn’t hear any of the showers running and curses himself for not taking into consideration the fact that the swimming team still has classes to get to, so practice might have ended sooner. Still, he doesn’t lose hope, and thank the Lords for his perseverance, for he spots Sasuke’s naked back between the lockers, and no one else. Of course the asshole takes his sweet time.
The grin on his face would have been compared to a whole Devil if anyone were to witness it.
No one is, though, and that makes him move forward with no hesitation, while micing a whole grimace. Sasuke’s head perks up from where he is fiddling with his shirt, before taking in Naruto’s appearance with bubbling surprise, then swift suspicion, then that wonderful confusion yet again.
His abs ripple with his breaths. Naruto needs to focus.
The Uchiha silently watches as Naruto opens his own locker in a hurry and pretends frustration as he looks into it, shifting some things around for the sake of it. The little smile that Naruto hides behind a hand under the pretext of cursing goes totally unnoticed.
“What-“ Sasuke doesn’t end his sentence, because Naruto makes a small, soft sound towards him, a pout already tugging at his lips.
“I don’t have a spare shirt with me today,” the blond mumbles. He rests slowly against the locker, giving the Uchiha a glance from under his fluttering lashes. “Do you, by any chance, have a shirt to lend me for a few hours?”
“You want my shirt,” Sasuke says, as if he’s trying to hear it from himself to believe it. Naruto gives a small nod. “What about your friends, can’t they-“
“They’re the ones that did this. I don’t want to talk to them right now.” It’s not exactly a lie, but it’s not the whole truth either. He cocks his head, furrowing his brows gently, and tries again, voice a bit meeker. “So please? Pretty please?”
Sasuke exhales through his nostrils, looking down at the sweater clenched in his hand. He bites at the corner of his lip, appearing to mull over something - and it totally doesn’t make Naruto almost bite his own lower lip -, before slowly stretching his arm towards Naruto.
The blond preens softly, and goes to take it. He doesn’t get very far. Sasuke swiftly grabs his wrist and jerks Naruto forward, making him gasp hurriedly. They’re almost nose to nose as the Uchiha presses Naruto carefully against his locker.
“What are you playing at?” He murmurs lowly in the small space between their lips, glare fierce, but also urging. Wanting answers. Desperately so, it seems.
Naruto parts his lips, breaths a little bit stammered. The elation in him at their current position is surely reflected in his gaze, for it makes Sasuke’s sharp expression furrow further.
“See, this is where you went wrong about it,” Naruto comments idly after a few seconds of thinking about how to function properly.
He takes a steadying breath, finds Sasuke’s hands spread on the locker against either side of Naruto’s head, and slowly lowers them to Naruto’s hips, under his milkshake-smeared shirt. Naruto’s skin pebbles at the contact with Sasuke’s cold fingers, yet Sasuke is the one to inhale sharply.
“You should just do this,” Naruto continues with the same casualness, and then proceeds to slam himself against the locker using Sasuke’s hands. It knocks all the air out of his lungs. He smiles, lips parted with gratification, and stares into Sasuke’s astonished eyes. “And then you ask me what I’m playing at.”
They breathe hard into each other, chests rising heavily; Sasuke’s even gets a bit smeared with milkshake. He doesn’t seem to care much; Naruto wants to lick it.
“Fuck,” he grits out, hands tightening on Naruto’s hips and making all sorts of tingles rise all over his body. Naruto sighs out of instinct. “Are you trying to make me lose my mind, Naruto?”
“Yes,” Naruto breathes out, it ends with a slow bite of his lower lip. Sasuke’s eyes burn as they lower to watch the gesture.
“Why?” Sasuke rasps.
“Why?” Naruto repeats, almost incredulous. His cheeky expression makes Sasuke slam him harder against the lockers; it gets a lewd groan out of him. He tilts his head back with it. “This is why. Yes, more of this, please.”
Sasuke huffs out a small, hoarse laugh, resounding in complete disbelief of what is happening, before it transforms into a guttural groan when Naruto traces a coy hand up his right pectoral, fingers tapping teasingly over one nipple.
Sharp teeth find his collarbone; Naruto’s back arches off the locker with a choked moan when he's bitten without mercy.
“Fuck,” Naruto heaves, eyes growing heavy. “Fuck, please. Fuck me.”
That makes Sasuke reel back slightly from where he was sucking a soft hickey just under Naruto’s collarbone. He puts a hand around Naruto’s wrist, fingers trailing down his forearm just as Naruto raises it to thumb softly at the side of Sasuke’s neck. The blond gives him a look, blue eyes dazed and expectant, despite Sasuke’s small, unsure frown.
“Here?” The Uchiha says, hushed. His dark eyes travel to the side for a second, as if someone is going to enter the locker at any moment.
Naruto’s hand moves towards his nape, catches some silky, raven strands between fiddling fingers, before he huffs shortly and tugs Sasuke even closer, making him turn his attention back on him.
“We don’t have to if you’re uncomfortable,” he murmurs, just as Sasuke’s eyes lock onto his. Light blue clashes with black, and holds; he feels Sasuke’s barely contained breaths tremble against his lips. “But yea, I want you to fuck me right here, right now. Against the locker, on the bench, on the floor. Your choice, really.”
The words make Sasuke dig a mean thumb into the sensitive skin of his elbow, as if he’s trying to keep the restraint going. Naruto gives him time to think, to pant some more, and simply trails his lips along Sasuke’s jaw - gently, slowly, before leaving a teasing peck right next to his lobe.
Suddenly, his whole body is met with cold air, and Naruto blinks at Sasuke retreating figure, watching him take another step back. He looks absolutely alluring, standing right in front of him in only his black jeans and a calculated look set on Naruto - and alright, now he knows that he finds barefooted, bare-chested men staring him down very, very hot. Or it could be just Sasuke. It’s probable.
“You’re making me wait,” Naruto says, red-bitten lips twisting with modest displeasure. He rests heavily against the locker, enjoying the little simmer of arousal. “A yes or a no will be enough. I can take it, I’m a big boy-”
“Naruto,” Sasuke cuts in, serious, assessing. His styled bangs shade his intense eyes even more.“You really want this?”
In lieu of answering, Naruto grabs the hem of his shirt with nimble fingers and takes it off in one smooth move. It falls on the ground noisily, but Sasuke’s stare doesn’t move from the way Naruto arches his back ever so slightly as he unties the cord of his gray sweatpants slowly, lifted eyebrow almost provoking the man to stop him.
The Uchiha exhales, then sits calmly on the bench, before spreading his legs and curling his finger at Naruto. “Alright, then. Come here, you fucking brat.”
Maybe it’s not the moment for it, but Naruto can’t contain the bubbling laugh that escapes him as he obeys, all the while looking amusingly at an equally entertained Sasuke, if the subtle twitches of his mouth are anything to go by. He settles on his lap, arms coming up to curl around his neck, and nuzzles his nose against Sasuke’s in a small, teasing greeting that gets a surprised smile out of the Uchiha.
“Acting so soft with me all of sudden,” Sasuke comments in a pleasant rumble, hands tracing their own little voyage all over Naruto’s hips, to the small of his back where curious fingers touch the two dimples at the base of his spine. Naruto shivers. “What did I do to deserve it?”
Naruto hums in thought, and bumps their noses softly in persuasion when Sasuke’s hands stop. Satisfaction purrs loud in him when one begins trailing even lower, right under the waist of his sweats, and shamelessly grabs an asscheek, squeezing.
“You’re going to give me the fuck of my life,” Naruto says seriously, suddenly, and it makes Sasuke freeze for a second. “Of course I’m going to be good for you.”
A pause, before Sasuke snorts against his neck, fingers digging almost painfully into the supple skin of his ass. His other hand comes and takes hold of Naruto’s thigh.
“You’re unbelievable,” he mutters ever so softly, mirth resounding clear in his tone. Naruto smiles against his hair, and rakes his nails down Sasuke’s back carefully, loving the way red lines bloom under the pressure.
“I’m horny,” Naruto corrects casually, pushing his ass harder into the palm holding it. “Please do something about it.”
“So polite,” comes the sardonic comment, but Naruto can’t be bothered to retaliate when he feels the tips of his fingers move right where he needs them.
He holds his breath, heart pounding, and pointedly gives a small whine then they tease at his entrance, dipping in ever so slightly. The problem is, they stop right away. Halt in place, frozen. Naruto blinks, taken aback when a hand grasps at his hip and pushes him a bit back, just so that Sasuke can give him a wide stare. Well, alright. Naruto stares right back, doe-eyed and confused.
“Naruto,” Sasuke begins, expression incredulous for whatever reason, and swiftly thrust two fingers into him without a single warning, right to the second knuckle. Naruto jolts, arches away from them, then into them, and gasps wetly, all the while maintaining shocked eye contact. “You’re- Did you-”
Oh, Naruto realizes with a click, panting for a few seconds. He almost can’t compute that Sasuke is already two fingers deep in him, but that’s another thing entirely. Right.
“I may have fingered myself this morning in the shower. That’s why I’m still- I’m still loose,” he stutters, tucking his lips in with a small sound when the fingers move without any difficulty into his wet heat. His legs clench against Sasuke’s middle with a small tremble, cock throbbing when Sasuke finds his prostate effortlessly and begins massaging tight, insistent circles against it.
“Hmm,” is the only thing Sasuke says for a few moments, but his eyes are still way too alert, studying Naruto’s face unabashedly. All the blond can do is gasp little, uncontained moans while he shakes against the merciless little strokes of Sasuke’s nimble fingers. It’s been a while since he had been fingered by someone else, but he swears he doesn’t remember anyone ever drawing such reactions from him without even touching his cock. This is ridiculous. “Did you think this was going to happen for sure? Me fucking you? Is this why you did it?”
The questions make him do a double take in his mounting high.
“ No,” he says, then presses his lips together to avoid an ill-placed laugh at the absurdity of that, though it does nothing to conceal the long whine echoing in his throat when Sasuke spreads his fingers meanly inside him. “I- ah , I told you I’m horny. This morning I felt- especially needy, okay?”
Sasuke doesn’t need to know that Naruto had fingered himself almost every day lately because of him, four fingers deep under the hot spray of the shower or the covers of his bed, and thoroughly frustrated for not having more. For not being spread wide on a certain cock. There’s a very likely possibility that someone from the other dorms heard him begging for Sasuke like a babbling, craving idiot, and surely that will be spread as another rumor. And isn’t that an interesting musing.
“Well, then.” He hears suddenly, bursting him from his thoughtful haze instantly.
Sasuke stills his fingers, and carefully removes them with a squelch, clicking his tongue when Naruto offers him a small mew of protest. His free hand moves from the crease between Naruto’s hip and thigh to pop open the button of his jeans, before lowering the zip slowly over his bulge with a sensitive hiss. It’s idiotic just how fast Naruto’s mouth watered at the sight of navy blue briefs, already a bit wet with precum.
And oh. Oh. Maybe the rumors are not unfounded at all. His lips part, mouth becoming completely dry when Sasuke takes his cock out of his briefs and gives it a small stroke, stopping right over the bulbous, red head. And just like that, between them, a bit curved inward and all pulsing veins, flushed pink sits Sasuke’s big dick.
“If you’re so needy,” Sasuke sighs, so minutely pleased yet so arousing with his little expressions of gratification. He gives Naruto a glance from under his lashes, lidded and heavy with intention, and the blond feels his hole clench around nothing. “Then get to work, Naruto. It’s all yours.”
Naruto swallows, staring wide-eyed at the way Sasuke leans back properly, removing his hands completely from him as he rests all his weight on them, wet fingers looking obscene against the ugly green color of the bench they’re sitting on. He gives Naruto an expectant quirk of his eyebrow, looking so, so smug. The hot asshole.
Exhaling sharply, unsteadily, the blond lowers his pants until they are under his ass and his cock peeks from under the front, already so hard and sticky - Sasuke watches him, drinks it all with a bob of his throat, as if he’d want to swallow Naruto whole. He just now becomes aware of how exposed he is, in a place where something like this will surely be punished, and with the door totally unlocked. He doesn’t know why, and doesn’t want to find out too soon, but his arousal doubles with a powerful shiver just at the thought of someone finding them like this.
Biting at the inside of his cheek with sudden shyness, Naruto wraps sweaty, unsure fingers around Sasuke’s hot girth, completely overwhelmed with how his fingers struggle to close around it. His hand is not small by any means, holy fuck.
And he resolves to take all of this inside him? Yes, yes he does.
“You’re not going to help at all?” He asks, a bit hoarse, much more timid than he should be, almost naked in a man’s lap and pleading to be fucked. Sasuke’s answer is an unbothered shrug, combined with that mirth swimming in his gaze. Naruto draws his lips in a soft pout, trying to hide just how affected he is by such an attitude. A fucking masochist, he is. Sighing, he trails the tips of his fingers along the big, underside vein, before tapping his index finger on the tip, mesmerized with how the precum sticks to it. Sasuke's abs flex with every little touch. Naruto hides his smile, mumbles, “Lazy ass. What did I expect? Of course you-”
Ruthless fingers grab his chin, tilting Naruto’s head closer to Sasuke, more like making him stumble over him - their cocks brush for a split-second, and Naruto’s mouth pops open with a soft moan.
“A brat should earn his pleasure, don’t you think?” Sasuke asks slowly, thumb tracing a hard line along Naruto’s bottom lip, spreading spit all over it. “Maybe if you do a good job, I’ll help you.”
“Promise?” Naruto mumbles, before biting the tip of Sasuke’s thumb.
The Uchiha hisses quietly, and yanks Naruto even closer just to harshly bite at his mouth. Naruto lets him, raw moan echoing in his throat, and in retaliation grabs the base of Sasuke’s cock, squeezing it. Sasuke’s groan is muffled against his mouth; Naruto takes the opportunity to capture his lips in a searing, unhurried kiss.
He plants his knees on the bench, and lifts himself up a bit, nearly smiling with endearment when Sasuke stubbornly follows his mouth and kisses him again, hand clenched on Naruto’s scarred cheeks, digging in, keeping his lips open and pliant, all for him to get his tongue inside and make Naruto lose his mind. He vaguely remembers Sakura saying that Sasuke is good with his tongue, and he dazedly agrees - frozen on his knees over Sasuke as his whole mouth is licked without an ounce of shame.
And Naruto can’t even gather his wits - he just babbles pathetic moans into Sasuke’s hot mouth, little sounds of pure obscenity that make the Uchiha almost purr against him. With a clumsy hand and a heaving, thundering chest, he takes Sasuke’s throbbing cock, smears it however he can with all the precum available, and aligns it in a few tries, feeling it slide between his cheeks with a shiver.
It’s only because his knees are beginning to ache, thighs trembling, that he sinks on it with the rush of a starved man, hitting the base of it almost immediately. Big mistake, and at the same time not really. Naruto groans with swift pain, with the mindblowing realization that he has Sasuke’s cock buried in his ass, his big, annoyingly famous cock. He clenches pathetically around the girthy length, and his whole body erupts into goosebumps. The only thing keeping him in this little hazy headspace right now is the deep moan Sasuke gives into his parted mouth.
“Take it slow,” Sasuke warns hoarsely, finally lifting a hand to seize Naruto’s hip when the blond rotates his hips impatiently, just to feel all that length twitch inside him hotly.
“ Mno,” Naruto breathes stubbornly, ridiculously pleased when Sasuke lets out a little tsk and digs his nails into his skin. It only adds to the dizziness formed by pleasure and pain combined. It spurs him on, really. The Uchiha should know by now.
With a small lift, he falls back down, slapping his ass down against the rough material of Sasuke’s jeans. God, his cock is so deep. Naruto swears he feels it at the top of his head, pulsing. Intrusive. Like it’s taking Naruto and making a home for itself inside him. It stretches him, impulsively, every time Naruto rises and falls down on it, a little higher with each slide. He can’t get used to it, no matter how long he rides it. It keeps hitting spots he never knew existed, brushing against his prostate clumsily only because Naruto can’t keep the cadence of his hips constant, he can’t take it like he wants to.
And maybe this is why everyone is so obsessed with it, wants it again and again, because Naruto doesn’t think he can get out of his room without the desire to have this fucking dick in him again, buried deep, in all sorts of positions. He won’t even try to kid himself. Sasuke will ruin him for everyone else, for anything else. His thighs burn, Sasuke’s limp hand on his hip burns, his chest burns with every small moan and groan Sasuke lets out against his sore lips. The little ah, ah, ahs tumbling out of his own mouth grow meeker the more he tries to keep himself up, to fall down again. In truth, Naruto loves to ride cock, he had always prided himself with it, because he has nice thighs, muscled and lean, and the men writhing under him as he takes them and brings them to completion never fail to praise him, until he’s flushed with it and bouncing like there’s no tomorrow.
But for some reason, right now, as he rides Sasuke it almost seems erratic. Pathetically desperate. It’s like his legs won’t listen to him, and it makes him frustrated. Maybe it’s because their pants stop him from having full movement, or because Sasuke is the biggest he’s taken, and he’s not buckling his hips against him at all. Really making him do all the work. It morphs his moans into little whines that he can’t be ashamed of, even when Sasuke flickers that heavy gaze back on him from where it was staring at the movement of Naruto’s hips, and lifts his eyebrow.
“You need to speak if you want something, love,” the Uchiha says softly, breathless, making Naruto almost delirious.
“I’m being good,” Naruto whimpers, the hands splayed over Sasuke’s rising, sweaty chest going up to cradle his jawline just as his legs give out and he sinks completely on his cock, and stays there, hips merely moving in little circles that have Sasuke clenching his hand around Naruto’s waist with bruising force. “So please. I- ah, p-please fuck me?”
Suddenly, sweaty, steady hands clench around his thighs, right under his ass, and Naruto feels completely lightheaded as he’s manhandled around without that much of an effort, back slammed against the cold bench - making it arch. The smeared sweatpants are ripped off his legs, before they’re tugged around Sasuke’s waist, and without even letting him draw a normal breath, Sasuke pushes back into him with a smooth thrust, to the hilt, and then continues doing it without pause. Sharp, long thrusts that drive him mad.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck ,” Naruto babbles on, spit already dripping down the corner of his mouth and abdomen tensing with the tingles spreading down his legs.
“A brat and a pillow princess all in one,” Sasuke comments roughly between pants, the smirk on his face looking way too alluring, all red and bitten. The sweat falling down his neck is also dripping down on Naruto’s flushed chest, some of the drops just glide lower, until they disappear in Sasuke’s happy trail, along the sharp v of his hips. Fuck. God. Fuck. The moan he lets out echoes around them. “And a slut as well.”
Naruto keens, head reeling back, and hiccups another moan when hot lips find the stretched line of his throat and begin peppering small, sweet pecks against it, right as Sasuke slows his merciless movements into something almost lazy.
“Someone is going to hear you,” Sasuke mutters amusingly right against his Adam apple. “And they’re going to come in, only to see you under me, clenching on my cock like a needy little thing, Naruto.”
“‘M not- I’m-” The choked, weak protest gets lost instantly.
Sasuke’s thumb traces a sweet line until it stops right under his belly button and pushes harshly, before drawing tight circles right there, as if he’s trying to feel his own cock deep inside Naruto. He- Oh my god-
The lewd whine he lets out gets overshadowed by Sasuke’s loud, surprised moan when Naruto clenches hard around him and comes. Long, white spurts, painting his whole chest with irregular lines. His cock twitches weakly against his lower abdomen, softening ever so lightly, but Naruto still feels tense to the limit, especially since Sasuke slowed to a halt, and is staring as if he can’t believe Naruto just came untouched.
“What ‘re you doing?” Naruto mumbles meekly, his shaking legs still wrapped around Sasuke. He gives a light yank at Sasuke’s middle, lifting his tired arms to curl around his neck, just so that he can get access to his mouth to whisper coyly against it, “I want your cum inside me. Can I have it, please?”
And maybe Sasuke wasn’t all playful when he demanded that he wants Naruto to be good for him. The powerful twitch of his cock and the broken groan he lets out vibrates in both of their chests, making Naruto blink in pleasant surprise, before it all melts into a small wince of oversensitivity when the Uchiha begins to move again, this time in messy, short strokes. His whole body buzzes with it, completely overwhelmed, but just for a few seconds. Sasuke’s cock gives another twitch, practically throbbing against Naruto’s sensitive walls, and stops.
All Naruto distinguishes is a staggering warmth filling him, just as Sasuke half collapses on top of him, breaths heavy and eyes scrunched in pleasure. He swallows, a weak moan resounding in his chest, and threads a hand through Sasuke’s wet hair almost absentmindedly. They sit in complete silence for a moment, trying to calm their struggling lungs, and their hearts as well.
Naruto stares at the ceiling for a few moments before he promptly falls into a pit of giggles. They make Sasuke shake on his chest, until the Uchiha lifts himself on one forearm to give Naruto a look - not quite annoyance, not with the liquid softness so present in his eyes.
“You’re still in me,” Naruto says, voice a wreck, and gives another giggle when he realizes it.
Sasuke seems to think for a second, handsome face glowing. Even through his obvious exhaustion, his satisfaction seems to be a living thing. Though, he almost looks careful. Naruto doesn’t like it one bit. “Do you want me to move?”
“No,” Naruto blurts, and dumbly enough, his legs wrap themselves higher on his small waist, keeping him still. He mumbles, “Just… A few more seconds, please.”
Sasuke’s caution melts in a second at that, the twitch of his bruised lips looking like a wonder ready to fully be explored. “Who knew you had it in you to be so polite? Hm?”
“Who knew you'd have a kink about it?” Naruto taunts by reflex, the grin on his face almost too pliant to be mocking. “No one mentioned it. Maybe they need to stop talking about your dick so much and start rumors about what’s really important.”
Sasuke’s brows twitch with his confusion and no, this is not the time to be adorable. Especially adorably confused. “What? Rumors?”
Naruto stares, and then stares some more, before he bursts out laughing, which rapidly dissolves into a gentle whine when he jostles Sasuke’s cock inside him. The Uchiha also hisses, and gives him a weak glare.
“Sorry, sorry,” he says, dragging his hands along Sasuke’s ribs with tenderness. “Alright, I think you can pull out. I guess I’m not going to recover the feeling in my legs until you do it.”
He receives a snort for that, which makes him smile without even wanting to. Sasuke’s touch is a careful, sweet thing along Naruto’s inner thigh as he pulls out, massaging it leisurely when the blond gives small sounds of displeasure. Naruto tucks his lips in, shame flooding his face all at once when he feels cum leak out of his puffy hole. Please don’t stare at it.
But of course, Sasuke is staring right at it. Almost mesmerized. Naruto clears his throat, all chocked up, and the Uchiha whips his head up, for the first time having the decency to flush a little.
“Do you want me to clean you up?” He asks, fingers already lowering ever so slightly towards Naruto’s used entrance, and it makes Naruto sputter, close his legs like a goddamn virgin and trap Sasuke's hand right there.
He hides his face against his palm when he spots Sasuke’s amused smile, breathes in the smell of their sex, and exhales as he sits up, surprised when he realizes that he doesn’t mind the slight twinge at the base of his back. It almost makes him want to preen.
“We could shower,” Naruto suggests, chewing at his lips a bit hesitant. “I mean, I really need to shower. Can’t really walk out of here- dripping. But… you can join me. If you want.”
He keeps his gaze focused on Sasuke’s hand between his legs, and the nice, blue veins underneath his pale skin, the length of his elegant fingers. Fingers that were inside him.
“Do you like me?”
Naruto’s head rises so fast it almost gives him a whiplash. His round eyes find Sasuke’s, and the struggling conflict on that soft, resigned face.
“What?” He says dumbly.
“I asked if you like me,” Sasuke repeats, seeming to not harbor much patience right now. He had already tucked himself back inside his jeans, sweat already drying on his skin. He looks restless. It makes the blond want to squirm.“In a romantic way. I want to know.”
Like the stubborn fuck he can be, Naruto slowly asks, “Why?”
“Why?” Sasuke’s eyebrows almost disappear behind his wild fringe. “Because we just had sex, Naruto, and you’re inviting me to shower with you. I want to know if you like me, or if you just want another round and nothing more.”
Makes sense, of course, but Naruto’s mind is like slow molasses right now, and it’s all because of this man and all of his touches, his fucking dick. Sighing, he shuffles closer, and quickly catches Sasuke’s hand when it moves to retreat from his thigh.
“Of course I like you,” the blond says, and it still makes Sasuke look at him, pretty, black eyes wide, even a little vulnerable. Naruto frowns, plays with Sasuke’s fingers without much thought. “Why are you so shocked? You didn’t seem like you were questioning it earlier. You rather seemed very convinced of my attraction for you.”
“Attraction is different from liking someone,” Sasuke blurts, almost matter of fact, but he does lean closer towards Naruto, arm relaxing in his hold when the blond begins tracing the veins up his forearm lightly. There’s a wary twitch of his mouth. “You mentioned something about rumors, a few moments ago. I just-”
“Oh,” Naruto says, realizing. He softens his features into something more sheepish. “Well… You see. The whole university is kind of talking about your dick. A lot. It just… awoke a lot of realizations in me.”
This time it’s Sasuke’s turn to stare, face blank. Naruto cowers a bit under his gaze, trying to put his best innocent expression forward.
“You… realized your feelings for me because the whole school is talking about my dick?”
As if put on a trial for mass massacre, Naruto deflates and admits, “Yes.”
With a big exhale, Sasuke turns his face towards the ceiling, and puts a whole hand over his face.
“I’m sorry?” Naruto tries, meek. “If it helps with something, you are not your dick, your dick doesn’t define you. You are awesome, handsome, smart and- Please stop looking at me like that, I really, really like you!”
He can’t help but laugh after that, at this whole ridiculous situation. He’s sitting here, with cooling cum on his chest and butt naked, totally high on the fuck he’s just received, with a totally flushed, sulky Sasuke trying and failing to glare at him. This time, there’s no hesitation when Naruto swoops to plant a giggling kiss on his pretty mouth.
The mission Dick Aquirement swiftly transformed into Boyfriend Aquirement.
Naruto nailed it.
Suigetsu is at the same desk, in the same chair, just doing a different task altogether, when Sasuke enters the dorm at the end of the day like a rageful wave, not even bothering to take his shoes off this time. It’s a different day, yet the white-haired man feels a big sense of deja vu when he sees the frustration on his stoic friend’s face.
He opens his mouth, ready to ask-
“I fucked Naruto Uzumaki,” Sasuke declares seriously. “In the lockers, and then he fucked me in the communal showers, right after he confessed to me that he realized his feelings for me because the whole of Konoha University is apparently gossiping about all the millions of one-night stands I’ve never had, and how much my big dick changed all of their lives. And now I have a boyfriend because of it.”
Suigetsu closes his mouth, slowly turns around, and picks his pen back up.
“Can you believe it?” Sasuke continues, completely unbothered by the back turned towards him. He sounds like he wants assurance that, yes, totally, he can’t believe it. But.
“Yes, I can,” Suigetsu groans. “I totally fucking can. Because your uni’s batshit insane, bud. Please never talk to me about it ever again. Keep your boyfriend away from me. Thank you.”
Sasuke snorts. Suigetsu feels like banging his head against their walls.
“It can’t be right! It just can’t, ” Ino cries the next morning, sitting in her usual spot at their lunch table, but this time she just slumps entirely on the surface. Naruto stops his soft humming, eyes blinking up at her and a sympathetic-looking Sakura.
“What’s going on now?” He asks, a bit cautious, with a glance towards his pink-haired friend, who huffs despite the slight curling at the corner of her lips.
“Well-”
“He’s taken!” Ino wails right over Sakura, who presses her lips together in annoyance, but otherwise doesn’t do anything. “Someone wined and dined Sasuke fucking Uchiha! And right when I worked out the courage to go and ask him out-”
“What?” A random girl stops in her tracks, staring in heartbroken disbelief at all of them. “What did you just say? Sasuke Uchiha has a girlfriend? But- But he was single two days ago! I heard-!”
“Stop with I heard, I heard, I heard! ” Ino snarls, slamming a fist against the table. Sakura jumps, but Naruto can’t move a fucking muscle, completely dumbstruck, “I asked him myself, girl. He’s in a relationship, he doesn’t know who the fuck Karin is, or any of us for that matter, and he’s not into omorashi at all! Not one rumor is true. Everyone heard nothing but lies.”
More and more people were stopping and stepping closer, some looking horrified, others doubtful or completely destroyed by the blonde’s words, and others were simply grinning with their whole faces. Nearly the whole cafeteria seemed on stand-by. Ino smacked her head against the table in defeat.
“Well, one was kind of true. His dick is certainly big,” Naruto blurts, and proceeds to tuck his lips in as he realizes what he’s done.
All heads turn slowly in his direction, and they stare; Ino lifts hers up, face ghostly pale. Sakura’s eyes are bulging.
“Naruto,” Ino whispers, utterly stupefied when his words register. “You…”
Naruto lifts a hesitant hand in the air, waves awkwardly, and he weakly says, “I’m his boyfriend. He’s actually gay, guys. Um, yea. Hi.”
Let it be known, that if anyone were to ask how it all went down, really, Naruto wouldn’t be able to tell half of the tale properly. Too many things. Too many rumors. Too much desperation and horniness on his part. But he could tell you how it ended.
With Konoha University in shambles, after Naruto Uzumaki, Konoha’s Legendary Jock, just took Konoha’s Legendary’s dick, lay, and all the other eighty percent of the polls, won under the name of Sasuke Uchiha, and made him his.