Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sitting with Beauregard, pressing a damp cloth to his forehead, Caleb reflected on the past twenty-four hours, which had been one of the most intense twenty-four hours he’d had in a while. He should have known by the way he’d woken up hungover and screaming bloody murder that it was going to be an intense day, but when needs must, you know, you set men on fire and don’t really consider how it’ll affect your mental health.

Last night had been pleasant. Fantastic, even. The Mighty Nein had decided they were to celebrate Ikithon’s imprisonment the good ol’ fashioned way: getting drunk and having a brawl.

Well, someone in the Nein had decided that. Caleb had a few guesses as to who had the bright idea, one of said guesses showing up at his house after giving him the news about Ikithon just twelve hours before. The wizard himself hadn’t been privy to the party until Beau and Yasha showed up on his doorstep and interrupted his silent, lonely glass of whiskey to bully him into teleporting the three of them to Nicodranas. Caleb’s second guess conveniently happened to be from Nicodranas and knew Sending. Knowing them, it was probably a joint effort.

“We’re not leaving you alone tonight.” Beau had told him in her firm way, standing in front of his chair. “Get off your ass and let’s party.”

Admittedly, it lifted Caleb’s spirits to find his honorary sister so hell-bent on taking care of him. It would not be the first time this week even that Caleb’s raw, rotted soul had been laid bare at her feet and she had been kind enough to shove it back into the wizard’s chest.

Many times at The Blooming Grove, as Beau was gathering his disposition on Trent, Caleb could feel his soul ooze out like an infected wound being excised, coming out as tears or sweat or trembling muscles and vocal chords. On a couple occasions, Caleb’s old symptoms took hold. Whenever he described the fire and the screams in detail would he go still, unable to shake the mental image of the cottage in Blumenthal. He had been embarrassed and apologetic once he came back to himself those couple times, as Beau was pressing a wet cloth to the nape of his neck and giving him a mug of water. Beau reminded him in no uncertain, flowery words,

“You’re allowed to still be fucked up by something that literally broke your fucking mind, dude. Give yourself a break.”

What he would do without Beau… he didn’t know. She was one of the first to see the festering sins in his wounded soul and chose to be there, then later care for, then later love, him anyways. He could not have asked for a better sister than the one he had found in her.

All of the soul cleaning of the past two months left him drained and numb, like a corpse prepped for burial. The verdict was a relief, of course it was, but doubts swirled in his mind, still. Part of him wondered why he was not being tried. Why hadn’t he been locked away for his parents’ murder? Was Vergesson his punishment, legally speaking?

He had been content to sit alone and drink, staring into his fireplace as he pondered his morality for the millionth time, but it seemed his friends would not permit such behavior. So, when Beau told Caleb to get off his ass and teleport them to Nicodranas, he downed his whiskey, stood up, and did as he was told.

They teleported to outside the Chateau and Caleb was surprised when he walked in to see the place empty save for a familiar group of people. He wondered why until he caught sight of a dark robed figure hovering near the bar with Jester as the blue tiefling rambled on about her childhood home. Caleb’s heart hurt with affection at the idea that Jester asked for the Chateau to close early so Essek could be there. Whether it was for the party, for Caleb, or for both, the redhead wasn’t sure why Essek agreed to attend, but he was grateful regardless. Essek was one of them, now, whether he liked it or not. Hopefully the invite solidified that for him.

As the drow wizard looked up at the sound of the opening door, he watched as Caleb’s eyes went wide for a brief second before relaxing, the edges crinkling as a tired smile graced his lips. Essek smiled back at him from across the room.

“Al-right!” Beau hollered and clapped, grabbing the attention of the Mighty Nein, sans Caduceus, as the door swung close with a thud. “Let’s get this fuckin’ party started!”

And party they did. They drank, ate, laughed, and forgot the worries of the trial.

Essek was the first to approach him once the bell had been sounded, so to speak. They sat down at a table and caught up on how Essek’s return to Eisselcross had been, what the rumors were in the Kryn Dynasty, and how Essek was coping. Caleb mentioned wanting to go back to Aeor now that Trent was locked away, and watching Essek’s eyes light up behind the carefully placed mask of indifference, lest Caleb not invite him for some reason, was everything to the human. It chased away the memories of when Essek’s face didn’t light up at the promise of spending time with Caleb or their friends. Caleb only hoped his plans for Aeor didn’t change anything between them. Assuming he would go through with the plan, that is. At this point, he wasn’t sure.

After a while of sharing a drink and snacks, Jester bounded up to the table and asked Caleb to dance. Caleb did his best not to blush at the attention Essek gave them as they waltzed around the room. Knowing Jester that had been her goal from the moment she approached the table. Every time he caught sight of the drow in his peripheral, he saw the tiniest smile gracing the man’s lips. That little intrigued smile would kill Caleb one day, he was sure of it. And it would be a death worth experiencing. Not one he deserved, but one he’d gratefully and selfishly accept.

Not long after Jester let him go, Kingsley persuaded him into a drinking game that Caleb was hopeless to refuse. They talked about how well Kingsley was finding the sailing life and if Caleb regaled him with the tale of their pirating foray, it was not with the express intent to see Kingsley’s eyes alight with excitement. Definitely not. He gained no hopes for the future when Kingsley flirted with or complimented him. Not a single hope that it wasn’t just a game.

Who was he kidding? Not himself, certainly.

Caleb felt something for both the lavender-skinned men in his life, which wasn’t foreign to him but definitely complicated things. He had no idea what Essek or Kingsley thought of polyamory and he didn’t know how to approach asking, either. Sure, Bren had experience. Caleb hadn’t forgotten Bren’s experience with multiple partners. But Caleb hadn’t needed to explain his emotions to Astrid or Wulf, they had kind of just… fallen together. They’d been studying and Wulf kissed him and suddenly they were no longer studying the books but each other. There wasn’t a need to explain that Caleb felt something for them both, it was proven by action in the heat of a moment when all three were together.

Apparently Caleb’s thoughtful staring into the middle distance had been mistaken as dissociating because a broad-shouldered half-orc that he also once found incredibly attractive filled his vision as he sat down next to Caleb.

Fjord talked with him and offered to let him stow away for a few weeks on the Nein Heroez the next time they left port, but Caleb wasn’t sure he could make time despite how nice sailing for a couple weeks sounded. He was set to give a guest lecture for an old professor at the Soltryce Academy next week, and Caleb didn’t want to cancel. Fjord asked, in theory, if he gave Caleb an item from the ship would he be able to teleport to it, and after a moment of consideration the wizard agreed it was possible. The sailor promised to bring him something before they parted ways, that way Caleb could come and go as he pleased.

When Fjord left, Veth ran over to take his place. Veth and Caleb talked and talked and talked; well, Veth did a lot of the talking. Caleb listened with a small smile as she told him about her plans for an adventuring camp for young teens and the new apothecary that Yeza was opening nearby. Caleb promised to teach a few classes at her camp, so long as it didn’t start anytime soon. Veth promised it was an idea, a project she was working toward, and that it was still months off. She’d ask again in another four months.

After a few drinks, she persuaded Caleb into performing Modern Literature “for old times’ sake”. It gave Essek and Kingsley a heart attack each while everyone else laughed and reminisced. Caleb’s fake heart attack was brought up and Essek and Kingsley delighted in seeing the redhead blush ears to neck to face.

Yasha didn’t interact much with Caleb during the party except to sit with him on occasion and watch the room. They never had to speak much for Caleb to feel understood by her. Yasha and he had such starkly different backgrounds, but such similar emotions toward the path they walked. Her presence was comforting enough without conversation, so Caleb didn’t force it except to ask how Yasha’s garden was coming along.

At some point Beau, Yasha, and Jester all had a fist fight and Caleb couldn’t help but smile and snicker at Essek’s pained expression to the brutality and Kingsley’s cheers and calls for bets. No one was surprised when Beau wiped the floor with the barbarian and the cleric. It was, after all, the monk’s “thing”. Kingsley did lose a bit of money by betting on Yasha, but Caleb had no worries about Kingsley making up the lost ten gold.

By the end of the night, Caleb found himself with a permanent blush and a swimming mind. Whether it was from the alcohol or Kingsley’s flirtations he wasn’t sure, but he didn’t mind either. Nor did he mind when Essek held onto him with a tiny smile because the Empire wizard was unsteady on his feet.

But despite all the fun of the night, his mind was not done with him. It was never done with him. Not truly.

In his dream, he was back in the chair. Strapped down, unable to run, unable to cast, as Ikithon cut into his forearms and pushed shards of what he now understood to be refined residuum into his veins. He screamed but nothing came out. There was a collar, the enchanted collar from The Folding Halls of Halas. It was around his throat silencing his vocal chords.

He couldn’t figure out how Ikithon managed to get free or how Caleb managed to get captured. How did the collar get to be trapped around his throat? Had his old teacher managed to get someone to cast a Wish spell for him, to free him from the Sovereign Glue sticking the device to the skin of Trent’s neck? That man was supposed to be in prison. Caleb was supposed to be safe. Evidently the wizard wasn’t safe after all, as all he could do was sit there and take the nausea churning from the panic, the sting of a blade slicing, and the overwhelming burn of residuum beneath his skin.

It was an odd mixture of old memories coming together to form a new nightmare, and it left him screaming as he woke, shooting up from where he lay on the floor.

“Take them out!”

He stared wide-eyed ahead of himself for several seconds, breathing heavily, before he managed to blink the panic away enough to take in his surroundings. He was in the salon of his Tower, still dressed in his rumpled clothes from last night, lying on the floor beside a chaise lounge with his coat covering him like a blanket, now lying in his lap.

Footsteps ran across the first floor of the salon and Caleb looked up to see two of his friends despite hearing one pair of footsteps. Essek glided over the wood floor and a disheveled Kingsley jogged over barefoot before coming to a stop, bending over Caleb to place a hand on his shoulder. Caleb rubbed his hands over his arms, checking for any of the cuts from Ikithon, and blissfully found nothing as the two men stared down at him worriedly.

Realizing it had been just a horrid nightmare, he hung his head with both relief at it being a nightmare and with mortification that the two people in the Mighty Nein not used to his outbursts were the ones to hear him. His shoulders hunched over his lap and he planted one hand on the floor to keep him upright, his heart and head pounding.

When did he summon the Tower? Did someone deposit him here? Where was everyone else?

“Ey,” Kingsley’s voice was hoarse and gravelly, clearly also having a rough morning after, “ya alright?”

“T-Tschuldigung.” Caleb winced after he panted the word, remembering they didn’t understand Zemnian. “Ah, uh, Sorry.” He placed his other over his erratic heart and closing his eyes to the far too bright light of the salon. “Oh Scheiße.”

“Nightmare?” Essek questioned, moving to sit down on the lounge near the fellow wizard.

“Ja.” Caleb swallowed then grumbled under his breath, “Verdammt erinnerungen.”

“Common, magic man.” Kingsley teased, although there was still an air of concern to his tone.

“I-I’m fine, just… Just cursing my memory, that’s all.” Caleb looked down at his scarred forearm, turning it and examining for any accidentally self-inflicted wounds. He found a few reddening areas where he’d rubbed over his pale skin, but no scratches.

“Well, you have gone through a lot recently.” Essek reminded him, watching Caleb study himself with silent intrigue. Caleb nodded, because he had gone through a lot recently, and immediately he regretted the movement.

The adrenaline was starting to wane and Caleb could feel his stomach and brain begin to revolt. He summoned his mage hand and sent the amber translucent hand to tug on the red rope sash by the fireplace. His companions noticed, of course, and Kingsley, still not at all used to the tower, furrowed his brow. Before he could ask what Caleb did, Essek spoke.

“What do you need?” Essek took in Caleb’s growing discomfort as the man scratched at the scars on his forearm again. The drow wizard wasn’t certain exactly why, but he had gathered from spending time with the Mighty Nein that one of Caleb’s self-soothing techniques was to scratch his arms.

For fear of letting loose something, Caleb spoke a single word then pressed a fist to his mouth. “Bucket.”

Kingsley nodded and looked around the space, understanding what was going on at least partially, now. Hangovers he could understand. The Tower? All the magic shit around them? Not a lick. He ran over to a waste basket by one of the desks and carried it over, handing it to the poor pallor man sitting on the floor.

As Caleb wretched, Essek studied his exposed forearms. The scars did not seem self-inflicted, but they did seem intentional. In fact… Something was eating at the back of Essek’s mind when he looked at them. The placement, the location of the forearms, reminded him of something.

It was with startling clarity that Essek recognized them. He had seen them before, on someone else. The Scourger they had interrogated, beneath the maze-like tattoos, bore those same scars. So did Caleb’s old Scourger friends. If the scars were indicative of Scourger training, then Essek figured he knew who caused them and why Caleb woke up screaming and cursing his memory.

To say Essek was surprised that those scars on Caleb’s arms had something to do with Trent Ikithon would be an unbelievable lie. Of course they had something to do with the ex-Archmage. From what he could gather as the Shadowhand to the Bright Queen, the Venn Diagram of Caleb’s traumas and Trent Ikithon was a circle.

Caleb’s voice just a couple minutes ago screamed in his mind again. Take them out. Take what out? That suggested that the cuts were meant to insert something, yes? But what?

“Danke.” Caleb throatily mumbled. Essek came back to himself to find Caleb wiping his mouth with a rag, pushing the bucket away from himself. He ordered the cat in Zemnian that had been waiting patiently nearby, having been summoned by Caleb’s mage hand, and said cat chirped and trotted over, taking the rag in its tail, then ran off.

“Feeling better Magician?” Kingsley asked, rubbing Caleb’s shoulder. Caleb gave a so-so gesture with his hand.

The wizard glanced over at one of the clocks hanging up on the walls of the salon. It was late morning, closing in on noon.

“What are…?” Caleb swallowed and tried to look up at Essek, eyes squinting slightly. “Where is everyone?”

“Veth went back home.” Essek explained then took in the pain in Caleb’s eyes as he struggled to make eye contact. “Um, would you like to dim the lights, perhaps?”

At the idea, Caleb snapped his fingers and pointed at Essek, silently grateful. He waved his fingers in the air then leveled his hand and slowly lowered it, the lights in the salon dimming as he did so. When it got to a comfortable level Caleb dismissed the magic from his fingertips and lowered his hand to his lap again.

“Better?” Essek asked. Caleb took a shallow breath and gave a thumb’s up, even just the idea of nodding at the moment making his head pound harder in his skull. No need to repeat that mistake twice. “We are currently in Jester’s old room. It took a bit of corralling from Yasha, but Ms. Lavorre and I managed to convince you all that setting up the Tower in the center of the Lavish Chateau was actually not a good idea and not a brilliant prank on the morning’s guests.”

“Everyone else is… here then?” As Caleb asked that, one of the tigers came walking up to them.

“Unless they scurried off in the night.”

Kingsley stiffened at the big cat’s approach instinctually, hand pausing on Caleb’s shoulder. The wizard patted the vibrant lavender hand reassuringly, addressing the cat, “Ah, Simon. Thank you.”

The tiger chuffed in greeting before curling its tail around the handle of the bucket and walking off. As it left, the smaller cat that had been behind it carried a platter with glasses of water and set it down beside Caleb. Caleb gave it a scritch before grabbing one of the glasses.

“Why am I… here?” Caleb cleared his throat as the water made his voice thick, gesturing to the salon lazily.

“That’d be my fault, actually.” Kingsley sheepishly admitted, grabbing a glass as well. “Everybody else pissed off to their rooms and I, uh… I couldn’t remember which one was yours, to be frank.”

The human wizard hummed. That explained a lot.

“You stayed down here with me?”

“Well now I couldn’t have you sleeping alone, could I?” King flirted with a charming smile. Caleb’s lips twitched with a smile that he hid with a few more greedy gulps of water.

“How kind of you, King, to ensure that I did not choke on my own vomit.” He managed to say after a moment, earning a wink from the blood hunter.

“An excuse, a reason, a lie: who’s to say?”

“Not you, I presume.” Kingsley laughed at that and it made Caleb’s heart warm. He looked to his drow friend and smiled, “And you, dear friend? Did Essek Thelyss pass out in the salon as well?”

Essek aimed a long-suffering, pointed look in Caleb’s direction, which only served to make Caleb smile wider. And if Essek gave him that look because he knew it would amuse Caleb and he wanted to see the man smile just that bit brighter, well, no harm no foul.

“I, Caleb Widogast, made it back to the guest chambers just fine.” Essek looked around. “I decided to explore your library about an hour ago, once my own hangover eased.” He focused his attention on Caleb again. “I also, ah, may have drunk more than I realized.”

“Gods, Caleb.” A familiar brash voice called out from the center of the room, floating down from the open iris in the ceiling. “You hurt yourself or somethin’?”

“Or something.” Caleb replied, not bothering to look over as he wiped a hand down his tired face. “Guten morgen mein freund.”

“Good morning yourself.” Beau replied, walking over. At hearing another pair of footsteps hit the floor Caleb looked over and saw Yasha was with her. Caleb gave her a simple wave and Yasha smiled a little worriedly and waved back. Beau pointed a finger around the room at the lights. “Hungover?”

Caleb hummed, downing the rest of his water. “Do not expect me to make the Tower again for the next day or two. I am amazed I managed to conjure it last night.”

“How about teleporting?” Essek asked, a smidge of concern edging into his voice. “Will you be able to get back to Rexxentrum?”

Caleb groaned. Just the idea of teleporting made his stomach roil.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to teleport, either.” Essek sighed, ringing his hands.

“It’s fiiiine!” Beau drawled, waving the problems away. “What’s another day in paradise anyways?”

“Yeah!” A happy voice interjected from the center column. Everyone glanced over and saw Fjord and Jester lowering into the room. “Mama won’t mind!”

“We could go to the beach.” Yasha suggested. Jester cheered and Caleb flinched.

He took some solace in Kingsley gripping tighter onto his shoulder at the loud sound as well. It was then that he realized Kingsley hadn’t let his grip on him go, yet, and his heart skipped a beat or two. Caleb pretended not to notice and secretly relished in the contact.

“The beach sounds awesome, babe.” Beau kissed Yasha’s cheek and started to walk off. “Breakfast then beach?”

“Why are the lights so dim?” Jester asked the air. Fjord leaned into her ear and whispered and her expression relaxed. “Ohhhh. Got ya.”

“Breakfast then beach.” Yasha agreed, following her girlfriend.

“Yay!” Jester skipped after them, tugging along Fjord until the half-orc stopped her. They spoke lowly to each other, shared a smile, and Fjord patted Jester’s hand before letting her continue frolicking off after the monk and barbarian.

Fjord walked over and offered an apologetic smile. Kingsley finally released Caleb’s shoulder at the new person entering Caleb’s space and the human tried to ignore the warmth leaving the spot as Fjord spoke.

“Sorry for the noise so early. You know how Jester is.”

“I know.” Caleb reassured.

“If the beach sounds like too much, that’s fine, you know.” Fjord offered. “I can cover for you.”

“Danke.” Caleb breathed, his lips curling into a grateful smile. As wonderful as the memory of the beach was, the idea of being under the sun blinded by sand was too much at the moment. “I’ll join when I can, ja? Make sure they have fun.”

“I will, but… you need to have fun, too.” Fjord reminded him. Caleb’s smile wavered for a fraction of a second, but Fjord didn’t seem to notice.

“Ja, well... Don’t worry about me. Beau needs a break just as much as I do, if not more so.” Fjord raised a brow, debating whether Caleb was being self-depreciating or honest. Caleb glanced shyly at Essek’s robe, feeling Kingsley’s presence behind him. “Some of my deposition brought back old… symptoms. She’s been very tolerant of me.”

Fjord’s eyes lit with understanding and he exhaled slowly, sympathy in his features.

“Because she cares about you.” He whispered, patting Caleb’s shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze. “We all do.”

“The feeling is mutual.” Caleb smiled tightly up at Fjord. “Bitte, friend,” he gestured to the column of air in the center of the room, “Eat. I will follow you shortly.”

“Take your time.” Fjord smiled, patting Caleb’s shoulder once more. Caleb gave a short nod, head still swimming a little and brain still throbbing in his skull. But he didn’t vomit on the floor as Fjord walked off to parent the group upstairs, so Caleb took that as a win.

“We should eat, too,” Kingsley proposed, “if you think you can stomach it?”

“Give me a few minutes. Bitte?”

“Bitty?”

Caleb blinked. “O-Oh, uh, please.” He translated. “Give me a few minutes, please? You can leave if you want, I won’t keep you. I just need a moment.”

Kingsley squeezed Caleb’s shoulder. The brief contact made Caleb want to lean in to Kingsley’s leg next to him, but he stayed upright. “Don’t take too long, magic man.”

“I won’t, circus man.”

The tiefling chuckled. As he walked to the column, he called, “You’re the only one I let call me that, you know!”

“What an honor, Mr. Tealeaf.” Caleb smirked watching the rumbled lavender man laugh and ascend the column of space, tail swishing behind him like a cat. And it was. It was an honor.

Caleb stayed sat on the floor as everyone but Essek left the salon. He was secretly pleased that Essek was not leaving as well, although that likely meant he wanted to have a private conversation, which Caleb wasn’t sure how to feel about. On one hand, he loved talking to Essek. On the other, private conversations with Essek were often times not exactly simple affairs.

Once they were alone for a handful of seconds, Essek spoke. His voice was soft, as if he was afraid someone might still be around and attempting to overhear.

“I shouldn’t linger.”

Caleb glanced over at his handsome compatriot and his smile faded somewhat, sadness creeping in. It had been two tenuous months since they last saw each other, and it felt like two months too long. They hadn’t even spent twenty hours in the same city together, with Caleb remembering only half of it, before Essek was feeling the need to leave again.

Was it selfish that Caleb wanted him to stay? Probably.

“I… had a feeling.” The human confessed. He groaned as he slowly got onto his feet, using the lounge and some support from Essek. Once he was mostly up he collapsed onto the chaise lounge, sitting beside the other wizard. “Do not take this as an offense, mein freund, but… How do you expect to leave?”

Essek laughed under his breath. “That is the question. I cannot stay but I also find myself, quite literally, unable to leave.”

Caleb was torn between smiling and frowning. He watched as Essek sighed and twirled one of the rings on his fingers.

“I should have paid more attention to how much I drank.” Essek frowned, staring daggers at his hands. “I knew I had to leave today. Why didn’t I pay attention?”

“You were having fun, and that is what fun does. What is the Common saying? ‘Time flies by when you’re having fun’?”

“That makes no sense.” Essek grumbled. “Time does not fly.”

“Regardless, you understand my point, ja?” Essek took in a deep breath and let it out in a heavy sigh that resembled a low groan. “Everyone is allowed to get horribly drunk and make poor decisions, Essek. Even you.”

Essek glared at Caleb’s teasing then looked back at his hands, staring them down like they personally wronged him. In a few ways, Caleb guessed they had. The redhead watched the pale lavender hands fidget restlessly for a moment, considering his options.

In the end, he opted to place his hand over them, gently pushing them apart to wrap around one of the offending extremities. Caleb felt Essek freeze momentarily and he squeezed the hand he loosely held and covered.

“I cannot promise it will be any safer with me for the foreseeable future. There are Volstruckers that would like to get their hands on me, I’m certain. But I can promise to fight with you if the need arises.” Caleb promised, committing to memory the first time he got to hold Essek’s hand. Essek looked conflicted and pained. He didn’t pull away, though, and Caleb took that as a sign that his touch was, at the very least, acceptable. “You are a member of the Mighty Nein, now, Herr Thelyss. If there is one thing that we do consistently, it is that we protect our friends.”

The drow was silent. Caleb sat with him, equally silent. There was no use pressuring Essek to respond, even if Caleb felt the need to. Essek would say what he wanted to say when he was ready to say it. All that Caleb required was a little patience, which he had plenty of these days.

Essek took a measured breath and Caleb prepared himself.

“You all should not have to pay for my mistakes.” Essek argued after a moment.

It was Caleb’s turn to be silent. Unwittingly, Essek’s words brought back the memory of his parents. They had paid for his mistake. As had the prisoner Trent had ordered the three of his students to torture and kill. That man had paid for the mistakes of three children. Bren’s mistake.

Usually, when Essek said such things, Caleb did not disappear into his old dark corner in his mind. Doing so now was a tad surprising, but he figured it was a byproduct of spending so long working on getting Trent imprisoned. He’s been focusing on his old dark corner a lot, recently.

Caleb filled the air with a deep inhale and long exhale after a pregnant pause, causing Essek to glance at the growing tension of Caleb’s hand on his.

“Could you do me a favor, bitte?”

Essek cautiously looked up to meet Caleb’s blue eyes after the human whispered. Where he expected kindness and affection, as had been present many times before, he found mixed with the kindness and affection deep-seeded pain. Essek couldn’t help the furrowing of his brow in confusion.

“Do not decide for me where and when I risk my life.”

The drow went to protest, his mouth opening and his eyes flaring with irritation, but Caleb interrupted him. “It is my life to risk. It may be blackened and scarred by my own mistakes and sins, Essek, but it is mine. And I have decided that…”

Caleb swallowed, nervous at what he was about to do, but before he could change his mind he did it. He interlocked their fingers, keeping his eyes locked on Essek’s widening ones.

“… You are worth risking it for.”

The conflicting emotions on Essek’s face were expected.

Caleb knew. He knew that Essek liked him. They had been dancing around mutual attraction since the day they met, using it to further their own goals. Caleb wasn’t sure when it happened but suddenly he realized it wasn’t a game of subterfuge or information-gathering anymore. It was real, and even after discovering Essek’s sins it managed to persist. If Caleb was to learn to love and forgive himself, he by extension had to learn to love and forgive Essek, and that was far easier than he would have liked to admit.

He also knew that Essek was struggling, just as he had been not too long ago. The drow wizard was struggling under the weight of a war started by his own hands. The blood on them would never be cleaned off, thousands dead over a stolen artifact, but Caleb… his own hands were bloody as well. Not as bloody as Essek’s, no, but that didn’t lessen his sins, just put them into perspective. It gave him an understanding of the reluctance Essek might feel in starting something with Caleb, because he felt something very similar before with Jester and, if Caleb was being honest, Mollymauk to a degree.

He remembered the pain of accepting the Nein’s love without feeling he’d deserved it. It had been almost crippling at times. Often it had been physically painful, like his heart was ripping itself apart. If Essek wasn’t ready to accept his affection, if it stung just a little too much, that was okay. Rejection would hurt, but he would survive. The worst had already happened, after all. And Essek would always have Caleb’s aid, partnership or no.

These thoughts filtered through Caleb’s mind as Essek lowered his gaze and closed his eyes, his head hanging off his shoulders. Caleb’s chest hurt in sympathy. Essek failed to speak for a solid minute.

Time. His own voice reminded him. It takes time.

He squeezed Essek’s hand before releasing it, laying it on Essek’s thigh and pressing it down. Essek’s head shot up with sudden panic, his mouth opening to explain.

“I know.” Caleb whispered. At seeing Caleb’s sad smile, Essek frowned. “I know, liebling. It’s okay.”

Essek’s lips tightened into a line. At feeling Caleb pull his hand away, Essek’s hand reached out and gripped Caleb’s wrist.

“I can’t see you dead again.” Essek blurted out in a breath. The image of Caleb cold and lifeless after the fight with Lucien still haunted him. It had haunted him for the past two months. The idea that he could be why that image happened again… “I can’t. Not for something I’ve done.”

Caleb’s smile faded. He stared, and Essek wondered with trepidation if he finally said something that Caleb couldn’t excuse.

“I convinced you to fight Cognoza.” They shared a few seconds, staring at each other. “I made you fight Trent. I used dunamancy at Vergesson to murder several guards and led Trent back to you. I have compromised your safety time and time again for my own gain since the day we met, Shadowhand Thelyss.”

Caleb emphasized Essek’s title and watched as Essek deflated, no doubt remembering Caleb presenting the Luxon Beacon to the Bright Queen. That action alone put Essek in more personal danger than anything else Caleb could’ve thrown at him. After watching the memory sink in, Caleb continued, lowering his voice and ducking his head a little to attempt to see Essek’s face.

“I’m owed my chance at the chopping block for you. Whether you want my neck there or not, Essek, it’s there, and I’m not moving it away.”

Essek sighed. After a brief moment, Caleb gently cupped Essek’s cheek and tilted the drow’s face to meet his eyes again, and he offered a tiny smile, showing he was teasing.

“It’s time to cash in on those favors, ja?”

Essek couldn’t help the corner of his mouth turning up into a half-hearted smile. It wavered almost instantly with the knowledge of what Caleb was proposing. He should push Caleb away, distance himself from the Mighty Nein, drop off the face of Exandria, do something to ensure their safety and survival…

But Essek Thelyss was still a selfish man.

He leaned into Caleb’s hand on his face. Calloused and dexterous from years spent practicing arcane pursuits and living on the road, it was a warm pleasant weight against his cheek. The palm smelled faintly of smoke, comforting like a campfire on a cold night.

“I hate you.” Essek muttered. His tiniest excuse of a smile returning and his closed eyes gave away, however, that he wasn’t truly angry at Caleb. Irritated, probably, but not angry. Caleb’s heart warmed in his ribs. The fight had ended but the war wasn’t over. Caleb had no doubts about that. They would be revisiting this argument until Caleb was old and grey.

“I’ve been reliably informed that you don’t get to choose who cares about you,” Caleb remarked. He then lightly teased, “I assume the same goes for choosing who hates you.”

“Well good, because I hate you.” Essek’s smile widened a little at Caleb’s low chuckle. “And for the record you did not make me fight Trent.”

“I distinctly remember convincing you to walk outside with me to confront him,” Caleb countered lightly, “and you distinctly did not want to.”

Essek fixed his gaze on Caleb’s, narrowing his eyes into an intense look.

“I do nothing that I do not choose to do, Caleb Widogast.”

Caleb smiled, nonplussed by Essek’s intimidation. How he loved the way Essek said his name. Thank you, past Bren, for calling yourself Caleb Widogast to Nott. Without that decision the world would be in shambles.

He stroked Essek’s soft cheek with his thumb, admiring the indigo freckles his thumb swiped over. Essek’s intensity faded away as Caleb didn’t argue against him any longer, and he felt his cheeks flush at the proximity. His gaze drifted down to an auburn beard surrounding thin lips and he wondered what it would feel like underneath his fingers. Would it be coarse? It looked like it would be coarse.

Caleb noticed Essek staring thoughtfully at the lower half of his face and he opened his mouth to politely decline until he at least rinsed his mouth out-

“Heya!” Caleb startled, jumping where he sat and reflexively pulling his hand away from Essek’s face. “It’s Jester!”

Essek felt momentary horror at how abruptly Caleb retracted his touch, like Essek had zapped him with lightning, and then he saw the human’s eyes close, shoulder’s sagging and expression shifting as if someone had just scared the life out of him.

“We were just wondering if you were going to eat breakfast!”

“Are you alright?” Essek asked, laying a gentle hand over Caleb’s upper arm. Caleb nodded and held up a finger, signaling for Essek to wait.

“Is everything okay? I can cast Lesser Restoration you know. I’m -”

Caleb opened his eyes as the message abruptly ended, looking past Essek’s shoulder and lowering his hand to his lap.

“I am fine, Jester.” Immediate recognition passed over Essek’s face and he stifled a laugh, pressing a hand to his smirking mouth. Caleb narrowed his eyes at Essek, fighting down a blush. “Essek and I had some matters to discuss. We will be joining you shortly.”

“We will, will we?” Essek teased, snickering at Caleb’s glare. Caleb parted his lips to speak when Jester invaded his mind with her Sending spell again.

“Oooh,” Jester practically purred, sounding like a teenager hearing gossip. Caleb’s mouth closed and his expression turned carefully blank, but Essek could tell by the change in Caleb’s focus what was happening. “You and Essek were ‘discussing matters’, huh? Kinkyyyy!”

The pale redhead’s ears began to turn pink and Essek grinned, trying to hide it with his hand.

“Kingsley says you better invite him next time, he’d love to ‘discuss matters’.” The mention of Kingsley made the blush forming under Caleb’s skin brighter. “He’s counting my-!”

Caleb took a deep breath.

“I assume Fjord is busy if Kingsley is counting your words. I love you, Jester, but you two will be the death of me someday.”

The wizards waited for one of them to get another message. When none came, Essek spoke.

“Your first mistake, young man,” Essek teased Caleb, “was mentioning me at all.”

“I see that, now.” Caleb sighed, but he was smiling. “I do not mind them knowing, just to be clear.”

Caleb stood up, testing his body’s limits for upright motion, and assessed that he was functioning better than he had been ten minutes ago. He looked down at Essek, finding a peculiar look on the drow’s face.

“What is it?” He prompted. Essek’s lips tightened into a line.

“What about Kingsley?”

Caleb’s smile faltered somewhat.

“What about him?” Essek gave Caleb a pointed look that told Caleb to stop playing dumb. Caleb exhaled. “This was a matter I was hoping to discuss some other day.”

“What, that you’re attracted to him?” Caleb rubbed a hand over his face and scratched at his short beard. “It’s best to talk now before someone gets hurt, yes?”

Debating his choices, Caleb stood there for a moment then sat back down. Essek wasn’t wrong, of course. That didn’t mean Caleb was looking forward to the conversation.

“Ja, it is.” He relented.

When Caleb failed to continue, Essek raised an eyebrow. “Well?”

“Do you remember my old friends?” Caleb asked instead of answering anything directly. “The ones that helped us with Trent?” Essek studied the man’s face as he nodded. “Well, Astrid, Wulf, and I were… in a relationship.”

Essek’s face didn’t necessarily relax, but the tension eased. This information certainly explained the reunion after the fight ended.

“It was a spur of the moment, uh, revelation, one could say.” Caleb looked away, unwilling to meet Essek’s eye contact. “We spent day and night together. Suffered together. Took care of each other. I do not think I would have lasted as long as I had without their love.” Caleb felt the pull to admit something he hadn’t said aloud yet, and reluctantly gave it a voice, “Perhaps that was by Trent’s design, to make it harder for us to stray. Peer pressure is a powerful tool, especially for the young and malleable.” Caleb shrugged and rubbed his forearms. “Or that is just my paranoia, I do not know.”

Silence filled the air. Caleb stopped rubbing his arms after a short moment but stared down at them, still averting his gaze from Essek. The drow hazarded a question he wasn’t sure he wanted the answer to.

“Do you still…?”

Caleb glanced side-long at Essek, seeing trepidation. He gave the drow a sad smile. Essek didn’t have to finish his sentence for Caleb to understand what he was asking.

“I love the memory of them.” Caleb admitted softly. Essek frowned, feeling the pain in Caleb’s voice. “But they are not who I remember. Those people are long gone. We are no longer seventeen, after all.”

Seventeen.

Caleb watched surprise flash in the widening and relaxing of Essek’s eyes. He recognized that surprise. He had seen it from the Nein, when he told them hold old he had been when Trent recruited him.

“And how old are you now?” Essek asked cautiously. He wasn’t sure if he was asking something rude or inappropriate. Caleb just smiled tiredly and answered.

“I am thirty-three.”

Another flash of surprise in Essek’s eyes, but this one lingered for a little while longer than the previous flash. Caleb didn’t blame him. He didn’t feel thirty-three. Suppose that’s what happens when you spend a decade of your life unaware.

They sat in silence again, Essek processing Caleb’s words and Caleb processing old feelings. He allowed himself a few seconds to feel before pushing the emotions to the side, focusing on the present.

“To focus on your concern.” Caleb smoothed his hands down his thighs, smoothing out the creases from sleep and distracting himself with the touch. “Honestly, I don’t even know if Kingsley sees me in that way. He flirts, I flirt back. It’s a mutual exchange. A conversation about polyamory right now may be all for naught.”

“But you would like him to see you that way.” Essek reiterated. Caleb stiffened and his expression turned a little pained and a little wary.

“I… yes.” He sighed. He tentatively glanced over at Essek’s face. “But I would like for you both to see me that way.” He admitted. A moment of silence passed before Caleb continued, “You don’t need to be with him, too, if you’re not interested. And if you are, or become, interested, I would not stop you.”

Essek stared thoughtfully down at the floor by their feet. Caleb reached out and took Essek’s hand in his, swiping his thumb over the soft purple skin, and was relieved when Essek didn’t pull away.

“Of course, if this is something you’re not comfortable with me doing,” Caleb whispered, “if you would like to be strictly monogamous, that is okay.”

“My silence is not a denial.” Essek turned his hand over and held onto Caleb’s. “Give me time to consider it?”

“Ja, of course.” Caleb smiled softly, squeezing Essek’s hand. “Of course, liebling. Take your time.”

Essek’s lips flickered with a fond smile. He leaned into Caleb’s shoulder and it took everything Caleb had not to melt into the smaller drow. As they sat together, Essek whispered into Caleb’s personal space.

“A wise man once told me it takes time.”

Caleb smiled a little brighter and turned his face to kiss Essek’s forehead, then thought better of it. He needed to bathe soon before it became too difficult to resist or too automatic to stop.

“I’m not certain he was wise,” Caleb hummed, “but I will take the compliment anyway.”

Essek chuckled and the human stood up, holding onto Essek’s hand still. When Essek looked to him, Caleb gestured to the open iris in the ceiling.

“Before Jester sends me another message?”

Essek laughed softly again and stood up, following Caleb out. As they walked, Caleb squeezed Essek’s hand. “Should we pretend nothing has changed?”

“Nothing has, Widogast.” Essek returned the squeeze with his own before letting Caleb’s hand go.

Caleb did nothing but smile and follow Essek up through the iris.

Chapter Text

Bathed, fed, and feeling a bit more alive, Caleb left with a disguised Essek to join the group at the beach an hour out of town. By the time they left and gathered it was closing in on mid-afternoon and the rest of their friends were talking about a beach sleepover, which to the hungover members of the party sounded like a brilliant plan. The Tower didn’t have much longer in its existence, and a sleepover on the beach did sound relaxing despite how nervous it made Caleb to stay on the material plane while Volstrucker could be lurking nearby, but he was with his friends. His friends would protect him.

Caleb broke off from the group as they continued to play in the sand and water, walking over to a brown-skinned elf with blonde hair shaded by a pretty pink parasol Caleb recognized. He smirked to himself at the memory of Essek’s reaction the first time Jester gave it to him, picturing the drow beneath the facade. Essek met his gaze and smirked.

The human pulled his coat off and swung it around him, folding it and setting it down in the sand. “I trust you to keep an eye on my components, ja?”

“I will guard your things.” Essek reassured, trying not to blatantly admire the clothes being shed. “Don’t let yourself get burned.”

A little twitch of Caleb’s head didn’t go unnoticed by Essek, but Caleb didn’t seem phased, unbuckling the holsters for his books. He laid them down on his coat, keeping them safe from the sand.

“I can make no promises.” Caleb bent over and pulled off his shoes and socks. “Zemnian skin is not made for, ah, direct sunlight.”

“I will keep that in mind next time you test my patience.” Essek playfully threatened, pleased when Caleb grinned.

“Says the drow.” The human whispered, growling a little under his breath, and Essek felt his heart flutter. Essek playfully smacked Caleb’s shin with the back of his hand and the human laughed. He swallowed as Caleb stood upright and loosened his shirt at the clavicle then pulled it over his head and off his arms, a familiar medallion thudding against his sternum.

Thin and with barely any muscle, the pale redheaded human practically reflected light from his lightly scarred torso. His shoulders were covered with fine freckles from sun exposure and genetics and his pale chest was obfuscated by brownish-red hair, and Essek had to stop himself from reaching out to touch. He had seen Caleb shirtless before – in fact, he’d seen Caleb’s naked form getting into the “hot tub” at their Xhorhasian home – but he hadn’t been nearly as interested then as he was now.

Tossing his shirt on the pile, he pulled the tie out of his hair, letting the auburn ginger strands freely dangle past his shoulders. He needed a haircut. With everything that had been going on the past, what, year? His hair had been left to grow unchecked, reaching the longest it’s ever been. He liked having longer hair, he had realized a while ago, but this was getting ridiculous.

Adding the tie to the pile, he bent down to whisper into Essek’s ear, “I’ll be back in a few minutes. Stay safe, liebling.” He snuck a kiss to Essek’s ear, beard brushing against the sensitive skin of Essek’s cheek, making the drow twitch reflexively. He watched Essek’s face as he pulled away, smiling softly down at him.

Essek was smiling and looking at Caleb with an emotion that Caleb could only guess was love, and it made Caleb want to drag him away to be alone with him. Capitalize on the time they had being in each other’s presence, as it was a rare commodity. It was a shame the disguise hid what had to have been blushing cheeks and ears, but Caleb told himself he would make sure to see it properly before Essek went teleporting away again.

Caleb walked barefoot toward the ocean, ready to float for a few minutes, get saltwater in his sinuses, then head back and cast the dome for his drow friend so he could drop his disguise. As he approached the group closer to the water’s edge, he noticed Kingsley was stark naked among them, a lithe purple stick surrounded by white sand and blue waves and their friends, and he did his best not to stare. It was surprisingly easy, considering he’d seen the body naked twice before: once in a bathhouse, the second at Kingsley’s resurrection. But he still had to try because, well, he was rather attracted to that body regardless of how many times he’d seen it.

“What, not running in naked this time?!”

Everyone looked to the dark-skinned monk who shouted. Caleb rolled his eyes.

“Es gibt Körperteile, die ich nicht gerne verbrennen würde.” Caleb called back to her, knowing she would understand him.

“Burning your dick didn’t stop you last time!”

“I did not-!” Caleb glared at Beau, their friends laughing around her. Beau smirked smugly. “Has it ever occurred to you, Beauregard, that when I speak to you in Zemnian it is because I don’t want everyone else to hear?”

“Uh, yeah?” She chuffed as if it was obvious, just to get under Caleb’s skin, still grinning as Caleb closed the distance. “So?”

Caleb narrowed his eyes. A brilliant idea crossed his mind and he relaxed his gaze, smiling lightly.

“Zwei können dieses Spiel spielen.” Caleb’s tone shifted with the words but sounded oddly friendly. “Vielleicht sollte ich dir sagen, warum ich heute Abend meinen penis benutzen muss. Würde das deine Neugier befriedigen?”

Before Caleb could finish speaking Beau was shuddering. Yasha, at the end of the second sentence, tilted her head and pointed lazily at Caleb, whispering to Kingsley and Jester next to her. “Did he say penis?”

“I do not need to know what you do with your dick, Caleb.” Beau glared as the barbarian muttered to the two tieflings. Caleb smirked.

“Are you sure? You ask questions like you want to know the answer.”

“I could not give less of a fuck about your sex life.”

“Who said it was for sex?”

“Fine. I could not give less of a fuck about what you do with your own hand.”

“Ladies, please.” Kingsley interrupted, smiling wide enough to show his fangs. As he expected, he earned glares from both Beau and Caleb. Which was fine, so long as they stopped arguing with each other. Kingsley looked at Caleb and winked. “Caleb doesn’t need his hand. I’ve got a perfectly fine mouth right here.”

Beau groaned and rolled her eyes so dramatically Caleb half-expected them to roll into her skull.

“Gods, I hate you both.”

She stomped off through the sand and Caleb called out to her, trying not to let his voice portray his reaction to Kingsley’s words, “Real cool, Beauregard!”

He should’ve expected it. Really, truly, he should’ve known the second it came out of his mouth what was going to happen. But he pushed anyways, because a part of him knew and wanted to see it happen. He wanted to push that big red button.

Beau turned on a dime and jumped him, grappling him and bringing him to the ground. Caleb tried to push her off to no avail, smiling and choking out a laugh here and there as Beau cursed him out. Was this what having a sibling was like? He could only assume so.

“Ah-” Caleb spit sand out and tapped Beau’s arm around his shoulders. “Alright! Du gewinnst!”

Beau let him go and got up, not bothering to wipe the sand off of her. Caleb chuckled to himself and shifted onto his knees, fine quartz sand sticking to his skin as he cleaned his hand on his pants then wiped his mouth free of sand. A dark hand smacked his deltoid and offered itself for him to grab, showing a sign of good faith, and Caleb glanced up, eyed Beau curiously, then took the offered help and stood up. On his feet and grateful he hadn’t been tricked, he squeezed Beau’s hand.

“Ich liebe dich auch, meine Schwester.”

Beau gave Caleb one of her rare smiles. It was lopsided and genuine and erased years of hardship on her face.

“Although I would prefer if you showed your love in less violent ways.”

Beau punched his arm and he winced, holding it. “You started it, asshole.”

As everyone began to spread out, Kingsley stuck by Caleb. Fjord and Jester went to join Essek, Beau and Yasha went to relax at the lapping shore, and Kingsley followed Caleb toward the water, ready for a swim.

“Is it my turn to wrestle with you?” Kingsley flirted, bumping Caleb with his hip. Caleb chuckled and turned pink.

He considered the proposition. He swallowed.

Now would be a good time to ask, wouldn’t it? He could not continue flirting with Kingsley if he was going to commit himself to Essek, and he could not just stop reciprocating and leave Kingsley feeling ignored and unwanted. And, if by some miracle Essek and Kingsley were open to sharing a partner, it was best to have the conversation upfront. Right?

Besides, Essek would be headed back to the cold north until Caleb could get around to meeting him there in a couple weeks. Kingsley would be off with Fjord and Jester, sailing and fighting off Uk’otoa’s minions. For the most part, Caleb would be alone. The three of them would be spread out across hundreds of miles with nothing but time to think.

“Actually,” Caleb murmured, rubbing the back of his head, combing a hand through his tangled hair from Beau’s assault, “that is something I would like to talk to you about.”

Kingsley immediately stiffened next to Caleb. Caleb looked over at his friend and watched the smile fall away.

“I’m sorry,” The tiefling mumbled, “I’ll stop.”

“No!” Caleb blurted, reaching out to put a hand on a deeply scarred lavender arm. “No, please, it’s okay.”

Kingsley seemed relieved but confused, and Caleb frowned slightly. He wasn’t the best conversationalist. He usually left that to Fjord or, in the past, Astrid. It didn’t help that the conversation wasn’t in his mother tongue.

“Are you sure?” King whispered. Caleb went to say it was more than okay, then remembered Essek sitting one hundred feet away and closed his mouth. He felt it was more than okay, but his wants were not the only wants he had to consider. He gestured to the water and put on his gentlest smile.

“Swim with me?”

Kingsley swallowed and nodded, still not smiling. Caleb squeezed Kingsley’s arm and noticed something interesting: one of the anti-divination medallions that Caleb currently wore was around Kingsley’s neck. How he had gotten one and why, Caleb wasn’t sure. He would ask about it later. Right now, they needed to talk about something else.

He let the lavender arm go, walking toward the water, and he glanced over his shoulder at Essek who was watching him with mild intrigue and slight confusion. When they met eyes, seeing the trepidation and the anxiety in Caleb’s, realization dawned in Essek and he gave a tight smile with a nod of encouragement. Caleb nodded back and looked down at his feet as they touched the water.

“I need to ask, Kingsley…” Caleb started, taking advantage of the excuse to avert his gaze from King’s, eyes trained on his feet sloshing through the water. His voice got steadily softer as he asked, “When you… say such things… do you mean them?”

Kingsley froze and Caleb stopped his progression into the ocean, turning to look at Kingsley’s face. He saw a blush starting to rise on purple cheeks and hope grew in his chest.

“Course I mean them.” Kingsley said softly. “I don’t say things I don’t mean.”

Caleb raised an eyebrow and tilted his head at the sailor, leveling a disbelieving gaze at him. Kingsley couldn’t help but smile a little lopsidedly.

“Okay, maybe I do,” he relented, “but the things I say to you I mean.”

Caleb smiled, but his euphoria was short-lived as he realized this complicated things.

“I’m happy to hear that.” The human admitted, feeling the need to reassure Kingsley that his affection was wanted. “I was worried it was just a game.”

“What?” Kingsley breathed. He stepped closer and reached out, putting his hands on both of Caleb’s arms. Caleb could feel dulled claws pressing into his skin and hoped his shiver wasn’t obvious. “The only part of our flirting that is a game to me is to see how many times I can get you to blush.” King smiled charmingly and Caleb felt himself blushing. “You’re cute when you blush, magic man. Just like that.”

Caleb cursed in Zemnian and rubbed a hand over his cheeks, as if he could smooth it away.

“You’re telling me you’d like to…?” Kingsley wiggled his brow and Caleb couldn’t help it, he laughed. He had such an easy time getting under Caleb’s skin.

“I would,” Caleb licked his lip and his smile faltered a little, “but there are some… extraneous variables.”

“Some what?”

Caleb searched his mind for synonyms. The closest he could come up with denoted some negative connotations, but it was the best he had.

“Complications.”

At hearing that, King’s smile wavered as well.

“Do not fret just yet.” Caleb said, forcing himself not to wince when Kingsley’s hands dropped from his arms. “I have something else to ask.” Kingsley’s lips tightened into a line, but he nodded, prompting Caleb to continue. Caleb could tell Kingsley was about at the end of his rope, so he didn’t mince words.

“How do you feel about polyamory?”

It was as if a light went off behind Kingsley’s eyes. One moment he was dark and somber, the next he was excited and hopeful.

“Never tried it but I’m open, if that’s what you’re wondering. Why? Who’s the lucky other?”

Caleb couldn’t help but blush a little at King’s excitement. “Calm down. My ‘lucky other’ isn’t so sure about it yet.”

“Yet?” Kingsley prodded hopefully. “Is it Essek?” Caleb’s blush darkened and he looked away, out at the water, and Kingsley grinned. “It is. I knew it. So you have a thing for pretty purple men, do you magic man?”

“Kingsley please,” Caleb groaned softly, covering his face with his hand. Kingsley barred his teeth in a big smile.

“I hope he comes around. I wasn’t kidding about joining in.”

Kingsley watched Caleb’s throat bob as he swallowed. He chuckled. Obviously he wasn’t the only one fantasizing about that, then.

“We will cross that bridge when we come to it.” Caleb remarked, lowering his hand and leveling at the tiefling half an inch taller than him. “For now, Essek needs time. He’s not been in a polyamorous relationship before.”

“And you have?” When Caleb didn’t deny it, his eyes went as wide as his grin, a soft gasp escaping his lips. “Caleb Widogast, you had threesomes and didn’t tell me?” Caleb groaned again and Kingsley laughed, watching the blush migrate from Caleb’s face to his neck.

“It was over a decade ago.” Caleb countered.

“So? I could have been having threesomes with you all this time and you didn’t tell me?”

“King-” Caleb lowered his voice in warning and Kingsley softened his playful teasing edges, reaching out to hold onto Caleb’s arm.

“I know, I know, I’m just teasing you love. I’ll go easy on the flirting.” King turned Caleb toward the sea and patted his back. “Let me know when things change, yeah?”

Caleb sighed. “Ja, I will. You menace.”

Kingsley laughed. “Good. Now let’s swim and get you back to your boyfriend.”

“He’s not-” Caleb bit his tongue. He regretted it the second it came out, because it had Kingsley turning toward him with a curious glint in his eyes. Seeing the question there and wanting to get it over with, Caleb mused, “We admitted our feelings to each other not more than four hours ago, that hardly means we’re boyfriends.”

The playfulness from Kingsley faded, replaced by surprised seriousness.

“Oh. That recent?” Caleb nodded, not knowing what else to do. “Well… Best get used to the title then, Magician.”

Kingsley and Caleb swam and floated in the waves for a little while. Caleb smiled as Kingsley pointed at fish around their legs as they waded out and tried to catch one. He laughed as Kingsley dived into an oncoming wave and surfaced seconds later shaking his head out like a dog, face scrunched at the saltwater burning his nose.

As they got far enough from the shore that their feet no longer touched the bottom, Caleb twisted onto his back and floated, dangling his calves down and resting his hands on his stomach, letting his body go limp. He felt something wind around his ankle and lifted his head a little, seeing Kingsley copying him. The tip of a spade tail laid flat against Caleb’s shin and the human realized the tiefling was keeping them from drifting apart. He blushed and rested his head back into the water again. He knew it was for safety more than it was to rile Caleb up, but that didn’t stop the action from riling Caleb up.

“So…” Kingsley said, but the sound was a little distorted by the water in both of their ears. Kingsley spoke a little louder to compensate. “We just… float?”

“Mm.” Caleb hummed, closing his eyes. His vision became red from the sun illuminating his eyelids.

“And you find this… relaxing?”

“The one time I was able to do this before, ja, I found it relaxing.” Caleb smiled to himself, knowing where this line of questioning was headed. “I assume you’re not finding this relaxing.”

“I mean I guess it is. It’s just boring.”

“What is the Common saying? Ah… Different strokes for different folks?”

Kingsley laughed, making Caleb grin. He loved that sound. After a moment, Kingsley continued his questioning.

“Do you like… think about things?”

“Believe it or not, mein freund, but I don’t actually stop thinking about things.” Caleb felt the slack in Kingsley’s tail growing taught. “The times my mind are silent are few and far between.”

“Okay.” Caleb felt water rush by his ears as the tail around his ankle pulled, bringing Caleb and Kingsley closer again. “So you’re telling me you never get bored, doing this?”

“I have too much to think about to grow bored.” Caleb murmured.

“Like what?”

Caleb couldn’t help the flutter of his heart at being asked that. It wasn’t often that he had someone wanting to know what he thought about. Well, someone that did not have ulterior motives or something they wanted out of him.

“Well, I have modifications to make to my cottage in Rexxentrum. Magical modifications. I need to protect it against divination magic if I plan to stay there or have Essek visit. Uh. Then there’s work. I have a guest lecture on transmutation magic and its varied applications next week. I also have a new spell I’m working on. It will act as a more amplified version of a spell I created before, my Web of Fire. It’s still very much in development, however. And of course there’s the Mighty Nein. The protection and happiness of the Nein are always on my mind.”

“You don’t have to protect us, mate.” Kingsley sounded closer, and when Caleb turned and lifted his head to see why, he realized they had been pulled together or drifted in such a way to be side by side. He lowered his head and stared up at the bright blue sky, avoiding the sun in the west.

“I do.” Caleb countered, tone offering no chance for argument. “Perhaps not as much as I had to in the past, but… Just because my old teacher has been silenced does not mean his guard dogs do not linger.”

“I thought his ‘guard dogs’ were your friends?” Kingsley asked, his voice nonjudgmental. “The man and woman that stayed behind at the Grove with us.”

“They were one of many. Astrid was his next-in-line, but we were not the first nor were we the last of his children.”

Kingsley furrowed his brows. “Wait… but you ended it. How are you not the last?”

Caleb thought back to the fire and winced. He took a deep breath, shoving that memory away and pushing down the emotions that sprung up.

“Has anyone talked to you? About my past?” Caleb asked soft enough that he didn’t blame Kingsley if the tiefling didn’t hear him. Evidently he did.

“Nothing more than what I was told at the Grove.” He admitted. “I know you’ve been working with Scribbles and Angel to put the old bastard that lit the place on fire in prison, and that you were a student of his or some shit, but not, you know, more than that.”

“I see.” Caleb swallowed and took a deep breath. “The ‘old bastard’ was my teacher, once upon a time, ja. He… was not a very nice man.”

“I’d say. He lit a temple on fire.” Caleb chuckled a little at that. He couldn’t disagree. “If you wanna talk to me about it, you can, you know. I’m not goin’ ta judge ya. It can’t be worse than what my ‘brother’ did.”

Thinking of Lucien, Caleb couldn’t disagree with that, either.

“I do not think it wise to dive into detail today. Maybe another time.” Caleb splashed some water onto his too-hot chest and stomach. “But I can answer your question. Why wasn’t I the last, ja?”

“Ja.” Kingsley mocked lightly, making Caleb smile.

“I was a… failed experiment, one could say.” Caleb licked his lips, tasting salt and brine. The sharp taste grounded him in the waves. “My final test, I had managed to… complete,” Caleb growled the word as if it disgusted him, “but doing so… It broke me. I… well, I went a little crazy.” Caleb smiled in that usual self-ashamed, nervous smile he gave when he mentioned his mental break. “I spent over a decade in a sanatorium before another patient cured me. Trent, my teacher, he… put me there. Left me there. For years. If I had no mind, I could not discredit him, you see? So while I was there, they… continued their lives. Placed mine on ice.” Caleb swallowed. “Trent says he placed the patient with me on purpose, but… I don’t know. Beau is certain he was full of shit, taking credit for other’s successes as usual, and Caduceus agrees, so I am inclined to agree as well.”

Kingsley let Caleb talk, listening to every word and sneaking glances at the carefully stoic bearded face pointed at the sky. All this time, he assumed Caleb’s past had been a few years back. A few years before he met the rest of their friends. But a decade? A decade spent…

“What’s a sanatorium?”

Caleb glanced at him momentarily, assessing whether he heard the question correctly. Kingsley smiled a little sheepishly. “Sorry, I’m only a few months old.” At least that seemed to lift Caleb’s mood, earning Kingsley a little twitch of the mouth.

“A sanatorium is, in theory, a place for the weak, feeble, and mentally ill to stay and be cared for or treated. In practice, it is more like a prison for wild animals. Sometimes you meet a wild rabbit, other times you run into a wolf. Half of the time, the wolf has authority over you.” Caleb sighed. “I suppose, out of everyone there, I was… lucky, in a sense. I do not remember much of my stay in Vergesson. And, I got to leave. Well, escape.”

Kingsley tried to picture it. Caleb in a cell, not all there… and suddenly a different memory came to light.

They were someplace dark. Caleb – Gods, was that Caleb in that ratty clothing and months long grime? – stared blankly ahead at a man burning alive. No, not at the man, through the man. His gaze looked a thousand yards long and his face was blank. Not carefully blank, just… blank. Void. Like his brain went on vacation.

Caleb heard a little gasp beside him and lifted his head, looking at Kingsley’s face change into an expression of confusion and mild horror. But it wasn’t directed at Caleb? Kingsley sat up and kicked his legs beneath him to keep him afloat, looking down through the water.

“Kingsley?” Caleb called, sitting up and kicking his legs, trying not to kick the tail still around his ankle.

Kingsley wordlessly took his hand and swam toward shore, releasing Caleb’s ankle. Concerned, Caleb followed, confused when Kingsley suddenly stopped them. They could touch the bottom, now, standing with the waves lapping at their chests.

“I… think I just remembered something?” Kingsley admitted to Caleb, looking to him, still confused. “Why do I remember a man burning and you looking all… dirty?”

“A man-? Oh.” The memory hit Caleb quickly, despite seeing a few men burn in his time, because it was a memory he thought of often.

“You were also all… spaced out.” Kingsley attempted to clarify. He tapped his temple, “Not all there, you know?”

“You are remembering something of Mollymauk’s experience, then.” Caleb answered, still holding onto Kingsley’s hand. “I… had an episode, near the end of a battle. If I remember correctly, that was the first episode you all witnessed.”

“Molly and Lucien?”

“N-No, the Mighty Nein. By the time we met Lucien, I no longer…” Caleb closed his eyes and turned his head away. Was he really going to admit this? Right now? Apparently yes, he was. “I was, ah, no longer in the habit of… punishing myself, for my past.”

Not where I could endanger you all, at least, Caleb thought, remembering the 8^th floor of his Tower.

Kingsley didn’t like the darkness that surrounded Caleb’s statement. Something not so good lingered like a disease underneath the surface, in the words he didn’t say.

“I think I’m done swimming.” Caleb interjected, changing the subject. He squeezed Kingsley’s hand, bringing the tiefling back to the present. “Do you… Are there any other questions you want answered?”

Kingsley smiled softly. “Nothing that can’t wait for another day.”

They swam back to shore and Caleb stood in the sun for a minute, letting most of the water run down his body or evaporate. Kingsley, having done the gentlemanly thing of making sure Caleb got back okay, patted him on the shoulder then smacked his clothed rear and dived back into the water, clearly not done swimming. Caleb smiled and rolled his eyes a little, calling out to Kingsley to be safe before drying a little then stomping through the fine sand toward Essek.

The human noticed his disguised friend was alone and glanced around, wondering where Jester and Fjord disappeared to. He caught sight of them walking, clothed and armored, back the way Essek and he had come from, and asked Essek once he neared.

“Where are they off to?”

Essek glanced up from the book he was reading, parasol in the crook of his arm, and stared. Caleb pointed toward Jester and Fjord in the distance.

“Ah, they are heading back into Nicodranas for refreshments.” Essek answered, marking his page and closing the book.

He was grateful his disguise prevented Caleb from seeing the full-face blush he currently had. It was entirely unfair for Caleb to walk up, hair down and his form still shining in patches from water, lording above Essek, and Essek to have no way to act on any urges.

“Oh, okay.” Caleb hummed, grabbing his shirt from his earlier pile. At seeing the shirt, Essek’s brain switched from arousal to caretaking.

“Mm, wait.” He ordered the redhead and twirled his finger. “Back up and spin.”

Caleb raised an eyebrow and smirked. Essek looked at him expectantly and Caleb obeyed orders, turning on the spot. Essek tsked.

“Your shoulders are red.” He chided, narrowing his eyes at his partner. “You said you would not get burned.”

“Nein! No, I did not.” The human vehemently argued, pointing at Essek before slipping his shirt over his head, leaving the lace at the front untightened but rolling up his sleeves to his elbows. “I said the exact opposite, ja? I told you I could make no such promises, erinnern? And instead of fretting over my delicate, pale Zemnian skin, you threatened me with sunlight the next time I try your patience.”

“Keep talking, Widogast. Turn that threat into a promise.”

Caleb laughed heartily, enough to end in a fit of giggles, and it was the most wonderful sound Essek had heard. He couldn’t help but laugh along, admiring the years that fell off the human’s face when he laughed.

“You’re just jealous of my keen mind.” Caleb teased. He was unable to bump Essek with his hip, so he resorted to nudging Essek’s arm with his foot. This resulted in a horrified, shocked gasp and a glare up at him that Caleb half-expected.

“Caleb!” Essek hissed, using his name like a curse. “Keep your sand off my shirt!” Caleb giggled.

“You are on the beach, mein liebe!” Caleb shouted, struggling to do so through his giggles, gesturing with open arms to their environment. “There is sand everywhere!”

“Not! On! My! Shirt!” Essek growled, feverishly brushing off whatever sand hid beneath the disguise. “This is worth more than your life you insolent little-” Caleb rolled his eyes and grabbed Calianna’s wand from his discarded coat beside Essek, not taking any of Essek’s angry muttering to heart.

“Then take it off.” Caleb suggested, lowering his voice as he grabbed his spellbook, unholstering it and opening it to the right page. His tone pretended like it was an innocent request, but the underlying subtext very much hinted that it was not, which made Essek freeze. Caleb amended, in the same tone, “We are on a beach, after all. I would hate for it to get ruined.”

Caleb caught the elf’s throat bob and he grinned to himself as he turned away, walking ten feet before stopping.

“I don’t believe that last statement was entirely truthful, Widogast.” Caleb chuckled, not bothering to argue. “Besides, you are not the only one with delicate skin.”

“Borrow my coat, then.” The human proposed, marking out a circle around Essek.

“And give away that I am wearing a disguise?” Essek countered, lowering his voice so only Caleb would hear.

“Give me eleven minutes,” Caleb walked past, brushing his hand over Essek’s shoulder simply because he could, and murmured with a sly grin, facing away from Essek, “and you can take off as much or as little clothing as you wish, mein liebling.”

Moments passed of Caleb walking around Essek in a twenty-foot diameter circle, never close enough for Essek to whisper to, which was infuriating. Glancing around and determining they were still alone and Kingsley was still in the water, Essek spoke.

“You are certainly in a mood.”

“Having the person you’ve liked for a while confirm that they are also interested into you tends to have that effect.”

“So I take it the conversation with Kingsley went well?”

Caleb froze mid-drawing of a line. Panic seized him at the worry that he was in trouble. At seeing Caleb freeze, Essek added, “It is fine if he confirmed his intentions, Caleb. I knew what you were going to ask. I would have Sent you had I been uncomfortable with you asking him.”

The human stared at where his wand met the sand, trying to think of a reply. Knowing that Essek wasn’t upset relaxed him a little, but he was still so nervous that he’d done something wrong.

“It did go well.” Caleb finally replied. Essek waited for him to elaborate, watching Caleb resume his casting. However, after a long moment passed, Essek sighed.

“And?”

“And… The feelings are mutual.”

Essek’s lip twitched with a smile, which surprised him. He had always considered himself a possessive person in every sense of the word, but the idea of Kingsley holding attraction toward Caleb didn’t set off warning bells in his head. In fact, it made him happy. Essek added it to the list of feelings he had toward their predicament that he needed to sort through.

“He’s willing to forego our flirting while you… consider.” Caleb’s tone was stoic and calm but carefully so, as if Essek would fly into a rage otherwise. Essek rolled his eyes.

“Caleb. Ssussun. My dearest friend.” The human wizard hesitantly looked over at Essek, seeing the elven disguise smile lightly at him. “The only thing I’m jealous of is your keen mind.”

Essek smirked at the chuckle that earned him.

“So please, can you tell me about your conversation with Kingsley without looking like you’re afraid I’m going to murder you?”

Caleb relaxed, leveling an affectionate gaze at Essek, knowing he was exaggerating. Essek’s smirk did not fade as they held a silent staring contest, the drow waiting for Caleb to continue talking. Caleb brushed his fingers through his beard as he looked off at the tree line and thought about something.

“Most people tend to get mad,” Caleb said, scratching his nails down through his beard then curving around to rub his neck, “hearing about their… partner, I suppose is the correct term?”

“Partner is good.” Essek hummed, agreeing. Caleb nodded then continued.

“Hearing about their partner discussing a possible relationship to someone else that they are attracted to.”

“Those same people probably would have been livid that their partner swam with a naked person they’re sexually attracted to,” Essek replied, agreeing. Mild fear flickered in Caleb’s eyes like a candle. Essek smothered the flame by tilting his head and saying pointedly, “I am not one of those people.”

Caleb smiled, hand dropping from the curve of his neck.

“No, you are not.” The love and adoration in Caleb’s tone as he said those words made Essek’s chest tighten.

“I have no reason to question your loyalty to me, Caleb. You are stupidly willing to risk your life for me,” Caleb rolled his eyes at the ‘stupidly’ comment, “and have saved mine more than once already. I don’t doubt your love for me, not at all.”

Love.

Love.

Hearing the word come from Essek’s mouth was different than hearing it in his thoughts. It sounded so right, so true, in Essek’s voice. He knew he was in love but knowing and hearing it were two different beasts entirely.

Caleb took long strides to where Essek was sat on the sand, dropping the wand near his coat, and used his now free hands to cradle Essek’s head and smash their lips together. Essek let out a surprised noise against Caleb’s lips, eyes going wide.

It was after he felt Essek’s lips against his that Caleb realized he’d never been romantically involved with anyone that wasn’t human. The drow’s lips were cool and soft against Caleb’s somewhat chapped warm ones, and the difference would have made Caleb flinch had he not pushed their lips together with such force that their chins hit. Kissing Essek, finally kissing Essek, made Caleb feel like he was taking his first breath after being suffocated: endless relief.

It took a few seconds but Essek melted into the kiss, reaching up to scratch his nails lightly through Caleb’s beard before he cupped the auburn-covered jaw. The beard scraping over his mouth and chin was ticklish, causing an involuntary shiver down Essek’s spine. Essek smiled against Caleb’s lips, warmth rushing through his chest.

Essek was the one to pull away, looking up into Caleb’s blue eyes and lowering his hand from Caleb’s jaw. A shine was starting to form over them.

“And I do.” Caleb whispered, still cradling Essek’s face. “Ich liebe dich. I love you.”

Essek reached up and wiped some errant sand from Caleb’s face. “I love you as well. So please, tell me how it went with Kingsley?”

Caleb studied Essek’s face, a smirk creeping up his lips. Oh, that was interesting. That was very interesting. He needed to explore this avenue further.

“You seem quite invested in the details of what King and I talked about.” He commented. “Any particular reason, mein liebe?”

“He is the other subject of your affections.” Essek countered a little too quickly. “Why wouldn’t I be interested?”

“And you are certain you are not jealous?” Caleb teased his partner, his tone light and playful. Essek rolled his eyes. “Or are you just hopeful that we talked about you?”

“You better have talked about me.” Essek glared playfully, knowing that they had but pretending he was doubtful and upset. Caleb chuckled.

“I didn’t intend to bring you up by name, but Kingsley guessed it right away. The second I asked what he thought about polyamory, he was asking about you.”

Just as Caleb suspected, Essek’s eyes flickered with emotion that he tried to hide. An ounce of hope was lurking behind the curtain, which caused hope to spark within him, too.

“So he isn’t all innuendo and mischief, then.” Essek joked, patting the sand next to him.

“Oh, no, no he is.” Caleb snickered, sitting down with a soft grunt. “I spent most of the conversation covering my face and blushing.”

“Oh?” Essek prompted, a grin settling on his cheeks. He wiped the sand on his hand off on Caleb’s pants leg and Caleb sighed a little but let it slide, as Essek knew he would.

“Let’s just say he’s hopeful we’ll send him an invitation.”

The human watched Essek’s facial expression as he ended the sentence, witnessing when Essek processed his meaning by the widening of his eyes and the flare of his pupils. He narrowed his own eyes and reached up, pressing sandy fingers against Essek’s cheek.

Essek flailed and pushed Caleb’s hand away, scrunching his face and cursing in Undercommon as he wiped the sand off his skin and away from his eyes. Meanwhile, Caleb watched with a knowing grin.

“I knew it.”

“Knew what, you iblith?” Essek insulted the human in Undercommon, lowering his hands from his face when he was sure he got the sand off. Before he could turn to fix his thunderous glare at Caleb, the redhead spoke.

“You’re blushing.”

“So?”

“You like him, too.”

Essek immediately stopped moving, eyes staring in slight panic and horror at the sand. The disguised drow clenched his jaw, multiple scenarios running through his head as to how he could handle this interrogation.

“Well, that explains why you smeared sand on my face.” Essek grumbled, moving to brush the sand that fell from his face off his shirt. “You got it on my shirt again, too.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’m telling you now.”

“No, du Arschloch.” Caleb sighed, showing the first signs of irritation. “You know what I’m talking about.”

“I’m not sure I do.”

“Essek.”

The dunamancy wizard wondered briefly what he wished for more: going back in time to prevent a war, or going back in time to prevent this conversation from occurring.

No, no. That was childish. He was being childish.

Essek sighed, ending it with a low groan, feeling his ears heat up as he admitted, “Alright, maybe I do like him just a little bit.”

“That does not answer my question, liebling.” Essek looked away, making sure they were not being overheard by a nosy monk or a naked tiefling. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“What was I supposed to say?!” Essek countered, frustrated. His face felt like it was on fire. Thank the Luxon no one could see it right now. “’I also think your friend is annoyingly attractive and I’m not sure why’?”

Caleb stared for a moment, waited for Essek to add something, and then barked out a laugh.

“Yes!” Essek rolled his eyes dramatically, wrapping his arms around his knees. “Yes, Essek! Exactly that!”

“Well then there!” Sure he sounded like a child, but it felt good. “I think your friend is annoyingly attractive.”

“Good. That’s wonderful.” Essek might have been embarrassed but Caleb was positively beaming. The drow glared out across the sand, watching a naked tiefling clamber up the shore toward his things piled out of reach of the waves. “That’s a perfectly normal feeling, Essek.”

“For you, perhaps.” Essek sulked. “Keep in mind that until I befriended you and your group, I did not have friends.” Essek snarled the word with disdain. “Relationships interfered with my work.”

Caleb stared at his partner for a moment then sighed. He went to wrap his arm around Essek’s back, paused, shook off the sand that might have clung to his clothing, felt the sleeve for any stray grains, and then continued with wrapping his arm around Essek, pulling their sides together. Essek felt his chest ache with affection at the realization of what Caleb did, softening his sulk considerably.

“How about this, ja?” Caleb murmured to his partner, kissing his temple. “We can take our time. Focus on us before bringing someone else into the equation. And when you decide what you want to do with your attraction, I’ll be happy to help you. Until then, your secret is safe with me.”

Essek leaned into Caleb’s side. It takes time. That was okay. Time was good. Acclimation was important.

“I suppose that’s fair.” He remarked. “After all, before I asked about Kingsley, you were going to let me decide what to do with your attraction to him, and I was happy to help you with that.”

Essek heard Caleb’s breathing hitch at the implication and he smirked. He patted Caleb’s sandy knee then wiped the sand off, saying, “My disguise will end in twelve minutes, dear. Make your dome for me?”

Essek could hear Caleb swallow and he suppressed the urge to grin. He felt air tickle his neck and ear as Caleb breathily snarled next to his ear before standing up,

“I hate you both for teasing me like this, but I especially hate you right now.”

“I love you, too.”

Chapter Text

Jester and Fjord returned from their adventure into Nicodranas an hour before sunset, arriving with pastries and plenty of food for a picnic dinner stowed away into the Bag of Holding for easy transport. The arrival of food summoned the group to Essek and Caleb’s sandy white dome, and as the sun set over the water they ate and talked and enjoyed the view.

If Kingsley sat near Caleb and Essek, well, it was obviously a thoughtless coincidence.

Everyone got dressed again once they dried off and brushed the sand off of them. Essek offered some assistance to those who needed a little Prestidigitation in getting clean while the rest tiredly talked about whether they would need watches.

“So who’s gonna take first watch?” Beau asked the group, now that they were gathered and getting ready for sleep. Half looked confused while the other half waited for someone to speak up.

“What do you mean?” Fjord asked.

“Yeah, why do we need watches?” Jester tagged on.

Caleb stiffened. Essek frowned just slightly and subtly placed a comforting hand on the small of Caleb’s back, thin fingers scratching over the cotton of his shirt. The uptick in Caleb’s breathing followed by him leaning into it told the drow he felt his touch.

“Just because Trent’s gone doesn’t mean the Scourgers are.” Beau explained.

“He hurt them, though. Shouldn’t Trent being in prison make them happy?”

The ex-Volstrucker couldn’t help the sad laugh that escaped his lips. Jester looked at him, narrowing angry eyes in his direction, but Caleb didn’t see them.

“That’s…” Beau sighed. “There’s more to it than that, Jessie. I mean, you remember dinner with him. Imagine that but for months or years.”

Jester opened her mouth to speak, but she seemed to understand the more she thought about the dinner.

“You had dinner with him?” Essek rasped with disbelief in the silence Jester left. Already tired of the arguing, and definitely not wanting to remember the dinner with Trent, Caleb interrupted.

“Bitte, stop. Just stop.”

The group went silent, Beau and Essek clocking onto Caleb’s distress. “The point is that there will be Volstrucker displeased with me for one reason or another. Or perhaps there are Volstrucker under the Martinent’s instruction that we do not know about. Either way, we must be prepared for a confrontation.”

“Caleb is right.” Essek murmured lowering his hand to touch the back of Caleb’s hip, hiding his arm behind Caleb’s back. “Besides, we are out in the open, no? No city walls to cage us in or protect us. Anyone could come by and attempt to take advantage.”

“The dome keeps out anyone we don’t like, right?” Fjord reminded the group. “I don’t think we need to worry about our things being stolen without us knowing.”

“Anyone.” Essek lowered his voice, leveling his gaze at Fjord. “We are by the water, are we not, Captain Tusktooth?”

As Essek anticipated, Fjord sat back a little, effectively on the back foot, and he swallowed.

“We’re so close to Nicodranas, though.” Kingsley argued. “I mean, fair play to ya if ya want to take watches, but… ya know.”

“Nicodranas did not stop them before.”

Caleb looked pointedly at Jester. He still felt guilty for dragging Veth and Jester’s families into his mess just because they invested themselves in him. He would not let them be put in danger again.

At the reminder Caleb gave, Jester softened. She nodded, silently agreeing.

“Sounds like there’s a history I’m not privy to.” Kingsley prompted, watching the interaction with a curious gaze and hinting for an explanation.

“Nor I.” Essek murmured, equally curious.

No one opened their mouths to explain, so Jester did.

“After we stole the medallions from Vergesson, we came back here because Caduceus and I, we set our Sanctuaries here in Nicodranas. We arrived and Trent was, well…” Jester glanced at Caleb, unsure of whether to continue. Caleb’s lips tightened into a line and he nodded, silently giving her permission. Jester nodded sharply back, looking back to Essek and Kingsley afterward.

“Trent kept Sending Cayleb messages, trying to convince him to meet and talk.” At hearing that, Essek stopped tracing circles on Caleb’s lower back, pausing before pressing his hand against it, stroking his thumb over the fabric of Caleb’s shirt. Just the residual panic of imagining himself receiving those Sendings from Trent Ikithion made Essek want to run. He couldn’t imagine how it must have been for Caleb. “Obviously that was a bad idea, you know, so Cayleb was like ‘uh, no thank you!’ and ‘some things are bigger than you, Icky-thong!’”

Caleb couldn’t help but smile a little at Jester’s sassy interpretation of events, even though the memory was one of the most painful ones he had. The fear, the terror. He was having a never-ending panic attack that day, his newfound family being used against him coming to life before his very eyes. It was the thing he feared most once he began to like this band of misfits.

“So we were like, okay. Trent is mad. We need an hour to attune to the necklaces. Do we risk it? And we did. I think? I don’t know, I was freaking out. But anyway! We knew our families were in danger because Cayleb said that’s what they do, you know, to get to somebody. They go after their families and friends. So we went and we checked in on my Mama and Veth’s family, made sure they were okay, they hadn’t seen anybody, you know? I told Mama to be ready to pack up and go because crazy people were after us, thinking we had a day or two, but nope! Guess who was waiting for us at the Lavish Chateau?”

Jester leveled a mischievous and playful look at Essek and Kingsley, prompting them to guess.

“Trent?” Kingsley finally offered a guess. Jester pointed at him and beamed.

“No! You were close, though. It was Cayleb’s old friends! And they were there to warn us because, like, Trent sent them to find us and probably capture us or our families buuuut they liked us so much, they were giving us the heads up to get our families and run!”

“How kind.” Essek dryly remarked. Jester either didn’t hear him or ignored him.

“Of course we didn’t trust them right off the bat, cause we weren’t sure if Astrid hated Trent or not, so Veth followed them invisibly. Turns out yeah, they were telling the truth, and Trent had teleported to Nicodranas.”

Essek turned a little pale and Kingsley winced.

“So obviously we packed up Mama and Luc and Yeza and we wondered, who do we know that could get us out of here? Well we’re actually besties with a super powerful wizard here so we ran to said bestie Yussa. He – oh, sorry, they. They have a tower and we use their teleportation circle like, a lot and we help them with stuff and things, so we were going to be all like ‘hey, can you teleport us out of Nicodranas? Sorry for bringing the Assembly to your door!’ Obviously Cayleb would’ve done it if he could have but he was tapped out after Vergesson.”

Caleb stole glances at Kingsley and Essek as Jester went through the story, wanting to witness their reactions but scared to know them at the same time. Essek’s hand on his back kept him grounded.

“So we get to Yussa’s and we find out that Yussa was stuck in the Astral Sea! Well like they weren’t stuck, their mind was. Their body was just like napping on a sofa or something. But they couldn’t help us, right, so we went through their stuff and found a tuning fork and a scroll of Plane Shift! How lucky, right? Of course we were like super afraid to use it, but we had no choice, you know? We heard somebody coming in from downstairs and we were running out of time! But like only so many people can go through with Plane Shift so we were freaking out and Cad, he had this idea to – well – actually, that’s complicated to explain so don’t worry about it. Point is we found a way to get everybody through the Plane Shift BUT-!” Jester gasped, leaning forward as if she was telling a fictional story and not a recounting of a harrowing moment in their lives. “But! Just as Caleb was finishing the spell, guess who walked in. Astrid.” Jester gawked for a moment then finished, pausing for dramatic effect, “She was about to Counterspell Cayleb… but she didn’t, and she let us get away.”

The group was silent, watching and waiting for Kingsley’s and Essek’s reactions. It took a long moment for either one to say anything.

“Oh.” Kingsley breathed. “That was… a lot.”

“It was a lot when it was going on, too.” Beau breathed out in a sigh, looking tired from just remembering that day.

Kingsley still had a lot of questions, but a fair few of the dots were connected, now. It explained why Caleb’s ‘final test’ broke him. It wasn’t just a test of skill, it had to have been something horrible, right? Horrible enough to be the hardest test for a group of arcane assassins to endure. It also explained why Caleb was so protective of the Mighty Nein still. These people were stone cold.

“They don’t know you’re here though, right?” Kingsley asked, looking at Caleb, who was staring down at the sand in center of the circled group, avoiding eye contact.

“I’m not sure.” Caleb swallowed to clear his throat. “They… we, were trained to get information by any means necessary.”

Caleb’s eyes darted over to Fjord for half a second, and then at Essek’s leg next to his, and then down at his hands as they fiddled with one of his spell components, which Kingsley found interesting.

“All I know for certain is that I told no one of where I was going, as I did not even know myself until a certain someone came banging on my front door,” Caleb looked pointedly at Beau who gave a half-hearted salute. “And, after Beauregard informed me of Trent’s sentence, I attuned to the medallion once more as a precaution. Anything else I am uncertain of.”

“Speaking of that, did everybody reattune like Jester told you to?” Beau demanded, looking to every person in the group. That answered whether the party was a combined effort, then. They nodded and Beau smirked. “Awesome. That should make things harder for them.”

“Scrying is not the only method they employ.” Caleb reminded them. “We must be vigilant while you are…” His bravado faded as he finished his sentence, swallowing down his pain, “… with me.”

Jester frowned and crawled across the circle to kneel in front of Caleb’s crossed legs and give him a hug. Caleb sighed and reluctantly hugged her back, closing his eyes. He didn’t want to see everyone’s reactions.

“We’ll keep you safe, Cayleb.” Jester whispered to him, squeezing him tight. Caleb felt his throat tightening at her words.

“I’m not worried about me.” He admitted. “I-”

“Well we are.” Jester interrupted him before he could continue. “We’re worried about your safety because we love you.”

Jester might as well have stabbed Caleb through the ribs. It was no wonder that Caleb’s voice was hoarse as he mumbled after a pause, “I… love you all, too.”

“I can take the first watch.” Fjord decided for the group, nodding at Caleb. Caleb looked at him, grateful, as Jester pulled away and he let her go.

“I’ll stay up, too.” Jester smiled at Caleb before looking at Fjord and giving a shimmy of her shoulders. “It’ll be romantic.”

Caleb chuckled. Jester looked back at her friend and Caleb said softly to her, “Thank you, Blueberry.”

Jester smiled again and gave him another hug, this one quick and tight.

“I’ll take second?” Beau offered then looked at Yasha, raising an eyebrow. Yasha nodded, smiling at her girlfriend, and Beau returned the smile. “Sweet. Yasha and I will take second.”

“I can take third.” Caleb smiled self-consciously with a hint of sadness to his eyes. “It is my fault that you might be in danger after all.”

“Hey! None of that, dirt wizard.” Beau smacked Caleb’s leg with her boot. “We talked about this, remember?”

Caleb sighed and mumbled, “Tschuldigung.”

“S’alright.” Beau accepted the mumbled ‘sorry’ and looked around the group.

“I will likely be awake by then.” Essek interjected, removing his hand from Caleb’s back. Caleb had forgotten it was there but he missed it already. “I can assist Caleb.”

“Wonderful. Let’s call it, then.”

Caleb dismissed then recast the dome further up by the trees, ensuring the dome didn’t fade away while they were sleeping and the area they were sleeping on was not sand but dirt and grass. It would also keep them a tad more hidden in case people came wandering by, which was good.

Everyone bedded down. It was warm enough that they didn’t need a campfire, thankfully, so they managed to fit everyone into the dome, but it was a bit of a cuddle pile, which Essek grimaced at. Caleb noticed his displeased look and smirked, patting a space beside him closest to the edge of the dome.

“Here. I saved you a spot, liebling.”

At the pet name, two people reacted. Essek’s grimace faded into a light smile. He sat down by Caleb’s torso, crossing his legs and preparing for his trance.

Caleb also noticed Beau’s head pop up, looking at them incredulously.

“Thank you, ssussun.” Essek murmured to his Light, gratefulness and affection in his gaze. Caleb watched Beau’s jaw drop and he blushed bright red.

Aiming to ignore her gawking, he turned over onto his side and faced Essek, acting as a barrier for the rest of the group. Caleb draped an arm along Essek’s folded calf, hand resting on the drow’s knee, the limb barely touching his partner as he glanced up at Essek’s face.

“Is this…?” He whispered. Essek smiled. Delicate lavender fingers tucked loose strands of hair behind Caleb’s ear.

“It is fine.”

Smiling and with permission, Caleb laid the full weight of his arm on Essek’s body, shifting a little to get comfortable. Someone laid a calf over Caleb’s calves, and then another. Glancing down, it looked like the legs belonged to Fjord.

“Question, dear.” Caleb asked, looking up at his partner’s chin.

“Mm, answer, hopefully.” Essek closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath and straightening his posture.

“What does ‘sue-soon’ mean?”

Essek smiled, a light blush darkening the tips of his ears. “Ssussun,” he corrected, “and it translates to ‘light’ in common.”

Caleb’s cheeks turned pink and he smiled, admiring the features of Essek’s dark face.

“Undercommon?” the human asked.

“Mhm.”

Suddenly, Caleb felt someone else’s shoulder press into his back, between his shoulder blades.

“This alright, magic men?” Kingsley’s voice spoke softly behind Caleb’s head. So that was who the shoulder belonged to. Caleb figured that was likely on purpose.

Caleb watched Essek open his eyes, observe something behind Caleb’s back, then met his own gaze. The human grinned up at him knowingly, teasingly, and Essek narrowed his eyes at his partner, garnering a weak laugh from him. Essek rolled his eyes and met Kingsley’s red ones over Caleb’s shoulder.

“It is, Mr. Tealeaf. Thank you for asking.”

Kingsley hummed and squirmed, settling down. “Best not to piss off my wizard’s wizard, you know?” He grinned at Essek and threw him a wink and Essek blushed, eyes going a little wide before he cleared his throat and shifted, pretending he was just settling down. Caleb felt his heart race at seeing Essek react to Kingsley’s flirting.

The human rested his head on his pack, smiling softly and basking in the warmth under his arm and the warmth pressed against his spine.

Moonlight streamed down from the sky, illuminating the darkness. The stars were bright and unobstructed above them, twinkling in and out of existence like possibilities inside the Luxon Beacon. Essek was fresh out of his trance and gently pushing Caleb awake for their turn at watch as Beau sat down with Yasha, ready to settle back down for sleep.

Suddenly the dome vanished. Beau, Yasha, and Essek looked up then at each other. The wizard and the monk shared a look of understood panic.

“Caleb.” Essek growled, shoving his partner. Caleb startled and gripped Essek’s leg. “Get up. The dome-”

An explosion deafened them and racked the whole group with pain. Caleb felt the familiar burn of magical fire along his back. Several people in the group screamed and yelped.

“Company!” Beau shouted, leaping up and across her prone family toward the caster she spotted. “Get your mage blade, babe!” Yasha jumped to her feet and grabbed Magician’s Judge, pulling it from its scabbard and tossing the leather to the scorched earth, running after her girlfriend.

“How many?” Fjord demanded, scrambling to his feet with a wince. Everybody hurried to stand and grab their weapons.

“No idea.” Essek answered, helping Kingsley pull Caleb up onto his feet. “Are you alright?”

“I’ve been better.” Caleb hissed.

Kingsley grabbed his scimitars and invoked his rites, slicing the blades along the back of his neck. The human grabbed his coat and pulled it on, immediately going for a specific pouch of components as they fanned out, searching the moonlit darkness for enemies. Caleb felt a hand press on his burned back over his coat and the pain eased significantly.

“Thank you, Jester.” Caleb breathed, smearing a line of dust up his arm and holding the pose, looking around them for other attackers.

“I’m the healer now, yeah?” Jester tried to joke.

“Found two more!” Fjord shouted, following it up with a series of arcane words. He pointed at one of the figures lingering at the tree line and shadows gathered from the darkness of backlit trees around them.

Kingsley sprinted for them and Caleb pointed his Disintegrate toward the one Fjord hadn’t cursed. He saw it hit, but the person was left still standing, albeit wobbling from the impact. The human cursed.

“Not bandits.” Caleb muttered to Essek, the pair standing back to back, now alone as Jester ran after Kingsley.

“Yeah, I gathered that when the dome dropped.” Essek replied, being snarky. “Scourgers?”

“Most likely.” Caleb sighed then cursed under his breath in Zemnian. “Beau and Yasha should not be on their own.”

“I’ll go.” Essek went to float away but Caleb grabbed him. They locked eyes in the darkness.

“They want us separated.” Caleb countered.

“They have us separated.” Essek argued right back. Caleb inhaled sharply and shook his head.

“No, they want us separated.” Caleb gestured between them. Essek scowled. The human was probably right. Sensing Essek wouldn’t run off, Caleb checked in on the fight and hurled a Counterspell at one of the caster’s aiming at Fjord. “There may be more, Essek.”

As if they had been summoned, figures came running at the wizard’s from opposite sides, flanking them.

“Scheiße!” Caleb yelled out in surprise, throwing up an arcane shield as a hand axe came swinging down at his chest. Essek in his peripheral sent out a pulse wave of energy from his hand and pushed the other assailant several feet away, buying them a few more seconds.

Caleb pulled out his caterpillar cocoon and waved it, drawing a sigil in the air and transforming into a giant ape. The enemy hit after he transformed, cutting into his hairy ape leg but not damaging Caleb himself, thankfully. Capeleb took the chance and grabbed the Volstrucker that was attacking him, throwing them at a nearby tree.

A blur of purple came running past Capeleb’s legs and the ape watched a scimitar-wielding tiefling hack at an enemy running toward Essek.

“Hands off my fucking wizards!”

Suddenly Caleb was shunted back into his human form, feeling the effects of a dispel lingering over his skin. He saw one of the Volstrucker pointing at him and gathered who had cast the Dispel Magic. “Du Ficker!” he cursed and glanced around, assessing the battlefield.

Twenty seconds after they ran off, Beau and Yasha came sprinting back, Beau leading the charge. Everyone looked singed and injured from the earlier Fireball, but Fjord, Jester, and Beau looked especially bad. By Caleb’s estimations, that had another twelve seconds before things started to get real bad, like some-people-go-unconscious-or-die bad.

Before he could talk himself out of it, he grabbed his phosphorus-coated string and thread it through his fingers, forming a cat’s cradle. He muttered the arcane words for his Web of Fire and smashed his palms into the ground, preparing himself to counter a Counterspell. No such Counterspell came, however, as his enemies were too busy fighting his friends.

A ring of fire erupted from the ground around Caleb. He could feel the burning arcana flowing around his hands and into the ground. How he missed using fire-based spells. The burn felt so right.

Tendrils of flame snaked along the ground to the Volstruckers, surging forth from the ground beneath their feet, igniting the two fighting Fjord and Beau and the two engaged with Kingsley and Yasha. Caleb sent the extra fifth gout to the one that attacked Essek, just to be spiteful.

Caleb had expected them to keep standing. He didn’t realize how much energy he put into the spell until two of the four standing enemies fell to their knees, screaming and illuminating the night like human-sized torches.

Screaming.

The screams.

Essek casted Haste on Yasha, hoping the barbarian would finish the fight for them, and he glanced around the battlefield. Fjord shouted out a thank you to Caleb and ran his final opponent through with Star Razor, but Caleb didn’t reply. That wasn’t unusual. There were plenty of reasons for Caleb not to reply, so Essek thought nothing of it. Peering into the darkness, Essek saw no more enemies approaching or lurking.

With the end of the fight near, he turned his attention to Caleb instinctively, wanting to check that he was still standing, still alive. What he found concerned him.

Caleb was kneeling on the ground, staring ahead where Yasha and Kingsley were fighting, with his hands planted in the grass, his whole body sagging like a stiff breeze would push him over. Essek floated over and grabbed Caleb’s arm, making to pull him up. Caleb didn’t budge, he was dead weight.

“Caleb?” Essek said, realizing something was wrong. He knelt down by Caleb’s side. Essek expected his presence or his voice to bring the wizard back to himself, but it didn’t. He continued to stare. “Caleb.” Essek raised his voice, holding onto Caleb’s shoulder.

“Uh oh. Shit.”

Essek glanced over at the voice that spoke then cursed in Common. Beau jogged over, past her belongings where she grabbed her waterskin and a singed cloth, and fell to her knees on Caleb’s other side, dousing the rag with water.

“What’s wrong with him?” Essek demanded, admittedly panicked.

“Give him some space.” Beau murmured, pulling Essek’s hand away from Caleb. She lowered her voice so only Essek could hear, “Trust me, you don’t wanna be holding onto him when he comes to.”

“Why?”

“You’ll get a face full of fire is why.” Beau snapped, pushing Caleb’s hair away from his skin with an oddly gentle touch unexpected of Beauregard in Essek’s eyes. As Beau placed the wet rag against Caleb’s forehead, she murmured gently to him, “You probably didn’t think you’d kill them, huh Firebug? It’s okay. They deserved it.”

Other footsteps approached their spot, running through the grass.

“Did it happen again?” Jester asked, hovering ten feet away with Fjord.

“Yep.” Beau hummed.

“Caleb?”

A new worried voice entered the space, kneeling in front of the redhead. Kingsley looked to Essek and Beau, eyes wide with fear and concern.

“What happened?” Kingsley darted his eyes between Jester and Beau, reaching out to touch Caleb but being gently stopped by Essek, seeing that Beau knew what she was doing and trusting her. “What do you mean ‘again’?”

“Cayleb goes all weird if he kills somebody with fire.” Jester explained. “He used to do it a lot more but-”

“Jester.” Fjord quietly said her name in warning.

Oblivious, she glanced over at him. “What?”

“That’s for Caleb to tell.”

“Just give him a minute.” Beau said to Kingsley, ignoring whatever conversation Fjord and Jester were having. She flipped and rested the rag on the nape of Caleb’s neck, gesturing for Kingsley to keep back, “He’ll-”

Caleb blinked furiously, coming to but still disoriented from his flashback. He started leaning back, away from the figures in front of him, and breathing heavily, bordering on hyperventilating with his panic.

“Whoa, hey man.” Beau said, slowly reaching out to touch Caleb’s upper arm. The redhead snapped his attention to Beau at the sound of her voice and stared wide-eyed like an animal ready to bolt. When she didn’t get a face full of Firebolt for touching him, she wrapped her fingers sans her thumb around the limb, keeping him from falling over but not preventing him from pulling away. “Hey there, buddy. You hear me?”

Recognizing the face of his best friend, his sister, Caleb’s muscles relaxed a tiny bit, staring at her for a long moment before processing that she said something.

“Hmm?” He hummed sharply, body trembling beneath Beau’s dark-skinned hand as he stared daggers into and through her.

“You hear me, Caleb?”

“Mhm.”

“Good.” Beau squeezed his arm then grabbed the rag from where it fell behind Caleb’s back. Caleb growled a little in warning, higher pitch and fearful, and leaned away and she rubbed his arm, murmuring, “Just grabbing the rag, man. Don’t freak out. Everything’s okay.”

She rewet the rag, getting the dirt off of it, and dabbed at Caleb’s forehead again. Recognizing the routine, Caleb started to relax. Routine. Routine was good. Routine was predictable. Routine was right.

“See? Everything’s fine.” Beau spoke softly to her second brother, silently assessing his every twitch and breath. He was starting to calm down, now. He was becoming more like Caleb and less like a cornered animal.

“Are you alright, Caleb?” Essek asked for everyone, tentatively reaching out to brush his fingers over the back of Caleb’s hand and encircle it with his own.

“Mmja.” Caleb slurred, dazedly staring past their group into the forest. His eyes found one tree in particular and focused on it, trying to calm his breathing.

“Sure?” Kingsley pressed disbelievingly, hand caught between reaching out to touch and refraining to keep from adding to the problem.

“Mmja.” Caleb slurred a second time, repeating himself. He did not sound very convincing.

Half a minute passed of letting Caleb’s body work through the adrenaline coating his nerves before Kingsley sat up on his knees in front of Caleb. He cupped Caleb’s face, keeping it still as he pressed a gentle kiss to Caleb’s cool damp forehead, then let go and pulled back just as quickly as he gifted the forehead kiss.

Essek stiffened, immediately recognizing where he’d seen that before. Caleb gave him an identical kiss on the Mighty Nein’s ship, during their interrogation of him.

Beau was about ready to knock Kingsley’s lights out but when the tiefling pulled away, letting go of Caleb’s face and sitting back on his heels, she noticed Caleb give a weak smile. The fight left her, seeing that Caleb hadn’t freaked out and that Kingsley might have actually helped not hindered, leaving her confused and shocked.

“Better?” Kingsley asked. Caleb hummed, giving the slightest nod. “I don’t know why, I just… felt like I needed to do that.”

“You did it before.” Beau breathed. She cleared her throat. “Well, not like, you you, but like Molly you, you know?”

“Strangely, yes.”

Beau smirked. She fixed her gaze on Caleb again, whose breathing was calming down but his eyes were still dazed. He tended to struggle on focusing his attention after episodes so Beau wasn’t overly concerned.

“Been a while since this happened in a fight, huh buddy?” Beau remarked, folding the rag and wiping Caleb’s face with it. Caleb hummed, eyelashes fluttering as Beau touched the edges of them with the rag. “Need a minute alone?”

He hummed again, but it wasn’t a confirmation. It was a low, drawn out hum, like he was thinking and didn’t know the answer. Beau pulled back and rested the rag on her leg, ignoring the wetness and grabbing her waterskin.

“Water.” She told him simply.

Caleb took a couple seconds to react. He held out a hand toward her, not looking at her, and she placed the opened container in his hand. She didn’t mind the lack of eye contact, it just told her he was worn too thin to put up with it was all.

Caleb brought the container up to his lips and gulped down a couple mouthfuls. The liquid rushing down his throat helped bring him back to the present, back into his own body again.

Essek glanced over at Fjord, remembering the earlier conversation in the Tower salon. Caleb had told Fjord that Beau had been ‘tolerating’ his old ‘symptoms’. When Fjord met Essek’s eyes, they shared a look that suggested to Essek that they were remembering the same conversation and this was one of the ‘old symptoms’ Caleb had been hinting at.

“You have this down to a science, Beauregard.” Essek complimented, offering a small smile. He was genuinely grateful for her help. He wouldn’t have handled Caleb’s episode nearly as well as she did.

“Fuck up enough times and you learn what works, yeah?” Beau patted Caleb’s shoulder, the human wizard still shaking. It was clear she correctly heard the subtext to Essek’s comment by the way she glanced at Essek before looking at Caleb. Hopefully they would have a chance to discuss it later. If Essek was to take Caleb into Aeor again, this seemed like a skill he would need to know just in case.

Apparently Beau saw something flicker in Caleb’s face because her expression hardened. She chided, “Ah! No. No blaming yourself, Widogast.”

“I did not say anything.” Caleb countered, sounding more coherent and like himself.

“You didn’t have to. I saw that look.”

Caleb sighed. There was no use in arguing. She had been right, after all. He had been blaming himself. It was hard not to when it was your brain they were trying to figure out, and the price for misstepping was hurting one of the people you care about most.

Beau handed the rag over to him and Caleb whispered, “Danke, Schwester.”

As he placed the rag to his forehead, thinking about the craziness that was the past twenty-four hours, Beau smirked and leaned in, giving him a side-hug that wasn’t nearly as awkward as they once were.

“Don’t mention it brother.” She whispered into his ear, just for him to hear.