Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Cas tugged the ratty and torn but warm blanket closer as the wind whipped through the alley. It was times like these that he thought back on his choices and how he got here. Cas sighed at the memories and pushed the thoughts of his family away. He was grateful for his dog, Meg, warmth as he sat there shivering a little despite the blanket. With limited access to food and adequate shelter, he'd lost a dangerous amount of weight. Castiel wasn’t sure how much longer he’d survive this way but he couldn’t stop, he needed his next fix. The shaking in his limbs was the first sign of withdrawal.

Dean was proud of what he’d accomplished. After growing up in wealth and his dad's restaurant he became well known. Dean's restaurant had been open for a couple of years now and it was doing amazing. Despite all his wealth and success he still felt it necessary to serve his community and help out the homeless. He finished flipping the last of the five dozen burgers and loaded them all up. Dean locked up his restaurant and then began walking. He gave burgers and Starbucks gift cards to every homeless person he encountered. Dean noticed the new man down the alley near his restaurant and slowly made his way down. He knew from personal experience that approaching slowly was the better way.

Cas eyed the figure approaching him with caution and pulled Meg closer to him. He wanted to know what he wanted and if he wanted anything from him.
“Hi there, I have a burger for you and your dog and a gift card for you so you can be warm for a little bit.” the stranger said and held the items out.

Cas frowned when all the man did was offer him food. He stared at it for a second and then slowly took it. Castiel's mouth watered some as the smell hit his nose, reminding him how hungry he was.
“Thank you,” he said quietly and unwrapped the first burger then set it down for Meg.

“Anytime, I give food out once a week to all the homeless so you might see me again” the man spoke back and then waved goodbye as he moved farther down the alley.

Castiel watched him go and began to eat the best burger he’d had in a long time. He tried to eat slowly because he didn’t know when he’d be able to eat next but it was gone in too short of a time. Cas curled up with Meg under his arm and then blanketed around them both but struggled to fall asleep due to the harsh wind whipping through the alley.

Dean finished giving out the food later in the evening. He got in his car intent on driving home but something stopped him. Dean couldn’t get the face of the newest homeless man out of his mind. He’d seemed too thin and too hopeless. Dean had the means to help and he couldn’t pass it up which was how he found himself in Walmart instead of opening the following day. He bought dog food, a bowl, and a thick blanket. Dean wanted to do something and this was helping a little bit.

After realizing that he couldn’t sell the Starbucks gift card for actual cash, Castiel wandered into the closest Starbucks. He kept his head down and quickly ordered a tea with honey added to it and a breakfast sandwich. Cas left as quickly as he ordered once he had his items. He frowned as he neared his spot and saw the same man from yesterday.

“Uh hey, I brought some dog food, a bowl, and a blanket for you,” the man said which only made Castiel narrow his eyes.

“Is there something you want from me?” Cas asked, eyeing him warily like he was only doing these things so he could have something else.

“Only your name. I’m Dean” Dean said and outstretched his hand.

Cas stared at the hand offered to him for a second and then took it.
“Castiel,” he said and looked at the items offered to him again. Cas couldn’t deny that he desperately needed everything.

“Thank you,” he said to Dean after a second and stared at him once Dean didn’t leave. Dean seemed to be contemplating something before he sighed a little.

“You know, my restaurant could use a dishwasher,” Dean said which made Castiel's eyebrows shoot upward.

“I….I don’t have anything to wear and I’m dirty” Cas said and looked down.

“Here, go to the thrift store and get something new. Come see me once you find the time” Dean said, handing Cas a fifty-dollar bill.

Cas stared at it and knew he’d be able to get his next fix with that. He needed the ketamine more than he needed the job offered to him.

“I….thank you, I’ll let you know.” cas said and took the money. He couldn’t help but feel hopeful about once again being able to feel as good as the drug made him feel.

“Well, I gotta get back but I’ll see you around,” Dean said and waved before he was turning and walked back in the direction of his restaurant. He washed his hands and looked over at Benny who was starting on prep.
“Hey sorry man, a new face popped up and he looked too thin. I dropped some stuff off for him” Dean said and began to prepare the food too.

“You do a lot for the homeless. I always got it handled over here.” Benny said and waited since it seemed like Dean had more to say. As predicted Dean started to talk again.

“He reminds me a little of Sammy so I uh, I offered him a dishwasher job. I gave him some money to freshen up with” He said, still overthinking if he made the right decision.

Benny raised an eyebrow and looked over at him.
“Really? He could be an addict you know and spend the money on drugs and you know what happened last time you tried to help”

Dean swallowed, the words stinging a little.
“I have to do something, I have to try,” he said, refusing to acknowledge the last part of Benny's words.

Chapter Text

Castiel trudged through the snow to the old bridge he met his dealer at. The man had always given cas the creeps but his prices were good and he could get a decent amount for fifty. He hugged his jacket a little tighter and ignored the shaking in his limbs. Castiel's eyes snapped over to the left when he heard footsteps.

“Well, what do we have here? Is my best customer hoping to buy?” Crowley said as he walked up to Castiel. He stopped a few feet away and looked the smaller and younger man up and down.

Castiel swallowed a little as he watched Crowley eye him.
“What can fifty get me?” He asked, getting right to the point.

Crowley sighed and pulled out three bags of ketamine.
“I’ll give you an extra bag for that dog” he said as he looked down at Meg who growled.

Cas narrowed his eyes and stepped in front of her.
“Meg stays with me. So three bags total?” He confirmed and clutched the money in his jacket pocket.

Crowley nodded and then hummed.
“You know I accept other forms of payment. Drop your pants and bend over the railing and I’ll give you two more”

Castiel always considered taking the offer every time Crowley asked but he never could. Being in control of his sex life was the only control he had. Cas wasn’t about to get fucked for the first time but his dealer who’d probably hurt him.
“No, I say this every time you ask. It will always be no” he snapped out a bit too harshly.

Crowley rolled his eyes and shook his head.
“You must not need the drug as much as you think then”

Cas scoffed and held out the fifty and his other hand.
“Only the three” he said and waited for the bags before snatching his hand away. Cas pushed the drugs in his pocket and looked away. Even after all these years he was still ashamed to be so dependent on a drug.

Crowley pocketed the money.
“Come back when you need another fix. You know where I’ll be”

Castiel paused as he started to turn away to leave.
“You know I will” he said and walked quickly away so he could get somewhere to take the drug privately. Cas had no plans to go back to his previous spot but groaned when he remembered the dog food and his blanket. He needed to go back now so he slowly made his way back. Castiel slowed a little when he saw Dean standing at his spot.

Dean smiled when he spotted cas.
“Hey, I brought more food for you. Have you made it to the thrift store yet?” He asked out of curiosity.

Castiel immediately felt guilt but pushed the feeling away.
“Oh, no, not yet but I will and I’ll let you know” he said and accepted the burger that was handed to him.
“Thank you for all of this dean” Cas said since he genuinely hadn’t had anyone help him in a very long time.

Dean gave him a soft smile when he was thanked.
“It’s no problem Cas. I need to get back again but I’ll see later” he said, the nickname easily slipping out.

Cas flushed a little bit when Dean called him a nickname and nodded when told he’d be back. He watched Dean go and sighed a little bit. Castiel leaned his head back against the wall and waited to make sure he was entirely alone. He ate his food and then tossed two pills back. Cas closed his eyes and let out a soft breath. He wasn’t entirely sure how much time had passed as the pills took effect. Castiel smiled a little when he felt the blessed numbness take over. He was unaware that he was being watched and had been followed for quite some time now.

Crowley lurked in the shadows watching Castiel as he took the pills and his awareness of his surroundings decreased. He was tired of asking every time the man came to buy from him. Crowley wasn’t waiting anymore and moved into the alley quickly. He grabbed Castiel's arms and dragged him deeper into the alley then around the corner into the other street.

Castiel gasped as he was dragged and kicked out as he was moved.
“L-let me go!” He cried out and tried to wrench himself free unsuccessfully.

Crowley slammed cas into a wall and onto the dirty alley floor. He kicked the struggling man in the head and then the gut. Crowley took the time Cas was down to restrain his arms behind his back.
“You should’ve just let me have what I want Castiel” Crowley said as he yanked the smaller man’s pants down.

Cas cried out when he was kicked and felt the skin on his forehead split open. He was light headed and weaker now but still felt the jerk of his pants. Castiel's eyes widened and he struggled with a renewed sense of urgency.
“No! No, stop!” He snapped out and kicked his feet to hopefully strike the man.

Crowley growled and slammed a thrashing castiel back down to the ground. He smeared a bit of lube onto his length then forced castiel legs apart more so he could easily force himself into cas’ dry, unprepared hole.

Castiel screamed as he felt the shearing agony of Crowley’s length forcing its way inside of him. He attempted to fight back but the pain was too intense. Cas could quite literally feel his body being ripped apart. Tears fell unwillingly from his eyes as he clawed at the ground for himself to hold onto but found nothing. Cas cried out as Crowley started a brutal, too deep pace. He could feel blood dripping down his legs and beginning to act as lube. Cas only cried more intensely when Crowley slapped a hand over his mouth to muffle his screams.

Crowley grunted with the force of his thrusts. He gripped cas’ hips hard enough to bruise until he had to grip the man’s back to keep him from moving too much. A dozen or so thrusts later he came inside the other man and pulled out. Crowley wiped his dick clean and tucked himself back into his pants. He pulled two bags of ketamine out of his pocket and threw them against the now injured man.
“As requested. Anytime you want more let me know” Crowley said and squeezed cas’ thighs purposefully to bruise.

Cas flinched when he felt the bags hit him. He glared at them then up at Crowley.
“F-fuck you!” Cas managed to say and tried to kick out at Crowley’s feet.

Crowley growled when he stumbled and whipped around. He kicked him hard in the stomach and glared.
“You better be grateful I’m leaving you here” Crowley snapped and walked leisurely away like he hadn’t just traumatized someone already going through so much.

Castiel panted on the ground and let out a sob when pain exploded up his spine when he tried to move. He didn’t want to see the damage done to him and closed his eyes as he tried to break the ropes keeping his arms behind his back. Cas’ whole body shook and he rolled onto his side with a soft cry. He didn’t see Meg running off since he was extremely dizzy at this point. Castiel didn’t know what to do or how to move on or just get up. How was he supposed to live on the streets after this?

Dean frowned as he heard a big commotion coming from the lobby of the bunker. He washed off his hands and came walking out to see what was going on. Dean frowned when he saw Meg barking and trying to stay in the building.

“What’s going on? How the hell did she get in?” Dean asked Ash who was trying to calm angry customers down.

“I don’t know, she ran in barking and she keeps running back in every time I drag her out” Ash said and sighed when the dogs barks only got louder and more urgent. Dean frowned at the words and looked at Meg. It was unusual to see her without Castiel too.

“What’s wrong girl?” Dean asked and knelt down to see her. He watched as she ran out of the building then paused and ran back when he didn’t follow. Dean quickly comped and apologized to his guests then followed the distressed animal. His eyes widened as he followed and noticed what looked eerily similar to blood on the bottom of the dogs paws. Dean slowed some as they reached the alley then ran when he saw the state Castiel was in.

Cas was rapidly fading into unconsciousness. He knew he was losing blood from the wound on his head and the mess between his legs. Castiel could kind of hear someone calling his name and felt his head being cradled right before he passed out.

Dean called an ambulance and pulled castiel's pants up to cover him. He knew the man had been awake when he got to him but still knew the signs of someone being high. Dean saw the blown pupils and bloodshot eyes. He worked on undoing the rope keeping cas’ hands in place. Dean sighed some as he finally undid the knots just as the ambulance arrived. He stood and watched Cas be loaded up on the stretcher with a newfound urge to help. Dean looked down at the dog who was whining and trying to go too. He chained Meg up outside the restaurant and gave her some food. Dean washed his hands and let out a sigh. Benny looked over at him and when the man didn’t speak he did.
“What was that all about?” He asked

Dean swallowed some and looked back down at what he was cooking.
“The guy I met last night, the homeless one, appears to have been attacked. He was awake when I got there but high as a fucking kite. The money I gave him must have been used to buy drugs”

Benny let out a low whistle.
“Well shit, it doesn’t surprise me that he turned out to be an addict. Still though he didn’t deserve to be attacked. What happened to him?”

Dean went quiet for a minute when he thought of how to describe what he saw without being too graphic.
“Well, his pants were down and he was bleeding heavily so I’d say sexual assault”

Benny swore again when he heard the words.
“Are you gonna go see him? He might not have anyone and he needs someone especially now” he said

Dean nodded and began fixing up some food for Meg.
“Yeah but I’m gonna feed his dog first. I’ll probably be gone for the rest of the day” he said and moved out back to set the food and water down. Dean laughed when Meg sniffed the food then jumped on him. He pet the excited dog and then moved away.
“You’ll see him again soon” Dean said and pushed himself back up. He drove to the hospital and waited for any news. It was a few hours before a doctor walked out asking about anyone there for cas. Dean stood and moved close to the doctor.
“I’m here for him. Is he okay?” He asked

The doctor sighed softly when he heard the question.
“He’s alive but he’s in really rough shape. He lost a lot of blood so we had to give him a transfusion. There was severe anal and perineum tearing which we had to go in to repair. We stitched a cut on his temple which we suspect was what gave him a concussion and cleaned everything else. There’s blunt bruising, defensive marks, scrapes, and minor cuts too but if he takes it easy then he should be fine eventually. He will heal physically but mentally we can’t say”

Dean nodded along as the doctor spoke. He had a hard time accepting that someone did this to such a kind person.
“Damn, okay, uh, can I see him?” Dean asked, wanting to see the other man in person.

The doctor nodded and led Dean to Castiel's private hospital room which they’d done for his safety. Castiel was lying on his stomach and was very still. He’d been cleaned and shaven which showed his age. Cas was too thin and too malnourished which was highlighted by the harsh hospital lighting.

Dean stared at the other man and sighed before he sat down. He took cas’ limp hand and waited for any signs of him waking. Dean couldn’t help but admire Castiel as he slept. There was no doubt that he was attractive but he wasn’t about to do anything rash especially after the other man’s ordeal.

Cas slept for another hour or so before he began to wake up. He wasn’t fully aware of where he was until he heard the beeps of the hospital equipment. At first Castiel wondered why he was there but then the memories hit him like a trunk. He remembered being held down and used against his will. Castiel had started having a little hope for his future but he couldn’t see a way out of this. After a second he realized his hand was being held and turned his head. Cas felt guilt stab him like a hot knife through butter.

“I should’ve bought clothes immediately. I should’ve asked for you to watch me get clothes but….now I’m here and there’s nothing I can do now” he whispered, not able to look Dean in the eye.

“…..you used it for drugs…didn’t you” dean said, wanting Cas to know that he wasn’t happy but also hadn’t wanted this to happen either.

Cas swallowed and nodded.
“Yeah, I did….i'm an addict but…I can’t take the meds anymore, I can’t” he said and shuddered when remembering how Crowley had thrown the bags of pills at him.

“You swear it. The job offer still stands but only if you get clean. My restaurant is five star and I can’t have an addict who isn’t recovering on my payroll” Dean said and after a second gave his hand a squeeze. The dark haired man looked over at him and immediately looked away. Cas was currently stuck in a flashback and was trying to figure out how to do that.

“I uh, I gotta get back to my restaurant but I’ll come see you tomorrow. The doctors said I could bring Meg so you’ll be able to see her” Dean said and reluctantly let go of Castiel's hand but only to lightly run his hand through the young man’s hair.

Cas snapped back into reality and bit his lip to hide how much he wanted to cry. He leaned into the touch from Dean and closed his eyes. Castiel took a deep breath and then looked at the other man.

“Thank you..” he said softly and watched Dean as he left. Cas couldn’t stop the tears at that point and allowed himself to express some of his emotions. It hurt his body to feel the aches and pains from his injuries and it hurt his mind to remember. When a male doctor came in to do a routine check Cas had a meltdown and his vitals reflected as such. The nurses had to sedate him when he began hurting himself more. Castiel finally fell into a medicated sleep and with a silent mind.

Chapter Text

Dean fed Meg as soon as he got back to the bunker. He pet her a few times and then walked inside. Dean greeted several employees and began to help with the dinner rush. Benny finally looked over once the rush was done.

“How’s he doing?” He asked knowing Dean would know what he meant.

Dean let out a sigh when he heard the question.
“He’s…..alive and recovering. I said I’d take care of his dog while he’s in the hospital” he said to keep it kinda vague for Castiel's sake.

“That’s nice of you brother. Be careful though because he could get attached to you easily. Trauma can do that to someone especially if he doesn’t have anyone” Benny warned but also knew Dean would be careful, especially with his history.

Dean nodded and then swore.
“Yeah….he’s just a kid though”

“Oh? How old did he seem?”

“No older than Sammy and he’s already been through so much. ” Dean said and decided right then that he was gonna help Cas the best that he could.

Benny sighed when he thought of what the man’s life must be like.
“Well shit, he's homeless, sexual assault, and probably an addict. I can’t imagine that being my life or anyone I care about” he said, hoping he could help once the man was out of the hospital.

“He is an addict. He told me straight up which I can admire. I’m still gonna offer him the job so he can do something and be something maybe” Dean said and sighed as he continued to clean up the kitchen.

“I’m gonna visit him tomorrow. Can you and Jo handle things here?” Dean asked

Benny nodded and glanced over.
“We got this, go be there for him,” he said and finished up. Dean nodded and then went outside to Meg. He took her with him home and bathed her. Dean could easily see how loyal she was to Cas and was glad he could bring her in.

The following day Dean came walking into the hospital with Meg in tow. He brought food with him and a new blanket with him. Dean smiled when he saw Castiel who was curled on his side.
“Hey there, I brought some things for you,” he said and sat on the chair beside the injured man.

Castiel had not had a good day so far. Nightmares plagued his sleep and he hated being constantly checked on. Cas hated that foreign hands would touch him and check him in places that hurt. He didn’t want anyone to touch him at all. The stitches ached and his head hurt but the memories were the worst of them all. Castiel managed a small smile when he saw Dean but his whole face lit up when he saw Meg. He hugged her when she jumped up to lick him and closed his eyes.
“Thank you for bringing her,” Cas said to Dean and felt his mood brighten even more when seeing the man’s green eyes.

Dean smiled and petted Meg too.
“I had to bring her. She’s staying with me and I’m happy to take care of her while you’re here. She’s quite the bed hog too” he said with a little chuckle.

Cas let out a soft chuckle that was a little wet sounding due to his state of mind.
“She’s a really good dog,” he said softly and seemed unable to let her go.

Dean chuckled some too and nodded.
“She is. She came running into my restaurant and wouldn’t leave or stop barking until I followed her. She led me to you all on her own” he said, resisting the urge to shudder when he remembered how pale and bloody Cas had been when he found him.

Cas smiled and then looked down at her. He was incredibly grateful for her because he couldn’t imagine what would’ve happened if no one had found him.
“Really? I….I don’t remember her running off or being found or getting here” Cas said referring to the hospital. He was trying hard not to panic about the cost and how the hell he’d pay for it.

“She must’ve run off when whoever did this dragged you away…” Dean said, eyeing Cas like he wanted to ask something but wouldn’t.

Cas nodded and was quiet for a little bit as he tried to calm his sudden anxiety.
“Yeah probably, I wasn’t focused on anything other than trying to get away which clearly did nothing,” he said and looked down.

Dean stared at him for a second and then finally spoke.
“Will you tell me what happened?” He asked softly.

Cas knew he’d have to tell his story eventually and looked at Dean before he nodded.
“Um…..my dealer, Crowley, always tells me if I don’t have money I can pay for the drugs in another way. I always decline because….it’s the only thing I can control. I can’t control anything in my life but I can control who I have sex with…or I thought I could. He tried again when I bought it yesterday but I said I’d always say no. I guess that pissed him off so he followed me to my spot and waited until I was alone and high to grab me” he said and paused when a tear slipped from one of his eyes. Castiel sniffled a little and closed his eyes before taking a deep breath.
“He dragged me deeper into the alley and I tried to fight but he’s bigger and stronger so it didn’t take much for him to overpower me. Then….he r….he raped me……. afterward he tossed two bags of pills at me, said I got what I wanted, and left” he whispered and took in a shuddering breath. Cas tried to calm himself a little and let out a little whimper when his injuries protested any movement.

Dean felt his anger rising as he listened to Castiel talk. He reached out with a shaking hand and took cas’ in his own.
“I’m sorry,” Dean said even though it felt stupid since he couldn’t change anything about it.

Castiel's whole body was trembling and he couldn’t speak. He didn’t want to cry again or freak out and he gripped Dean's hand with an iron grip.

“You’re safe now cas, you’re gonna be okay,” Dean said and rubbed his arm slowly.

Cas managed to slowly breathe and calm himself down. He let out an exhausted breath and then looked at Dean.
“Sorry…”

Dean shook his head at the word.
“It’s alright. Are you hungry? I brought you some food….”

Castiel let out another breath and felt himself getting calmer by the second.
“Yeah, yeah food sounds great,” he said and gave him a little smile. Cas was very thin and very infrequently had food. Dean had provided him with the most food he’d had consistently in years.

Dean was happy that Cas wanted to eat and began to unload the breakfast food he’d brought. He hadn’t known what the other man liked but brought a few different things that people generally enjoyed for breakfast.
“My restaurant, the bunker, doesn’t make breakfast but I thought maybe you’d enjoy some. There’s a breakfast sandwich, a muffin, and some water for you.”Dean said and set the items on Castiel's hospital bed.

Cas looked down at the food and picked up the sandwich first. He had to force himself not to eat too fast. The food tasted better than Castiel would have imagined. He let out a soft groan as he ate it.
“This is the best food I’ve had in years. Thank you, Dean.” Cas said, even though he didn’t know the difference between good food and bad food.

Dean nodded and sat back in the chair. He felt a sting in his heart when he thought of how tough it must’ve been for Sam. Dean couldn’t imagine going through this with his younger brother.
“I’m going to cover all your medical expenses and you can come to stay with me until you’re back on your feet”

Castiel had just barely pulled the blankets higher and relaxed into the bed when Dean spoke. His eyes widened at the words.
“You don’t have to…I know medical bills are really expensive, especially for everything I've needed since I’ve been here” Cas began to protest.

“I want to….it’s the least I can do after giving you that money”

“Dean….no, this isn’t your fault. I would’ve found a way to get drugs without the money and it seemed as if Crowley would’ve gotten to me anyway”

“I still want to help. You remind me kind of my little brother and I know you need help so I’m offering”

“How do I remind you of him?” Castiel asked, his head tilting to the side.

“I think he’s a little older than you but he’s in college and had an Adderall problem for a little while. I helped him get clean and he’s been doing better” Dean said and shrugged a little.

Castiel wondered how his life could’ve been if he never dropped out of high school. He wondered who he could’ve been.
“He sounds like someone I’d like. Thank you for helping me, Dean. I appreciate that you care.” Cas said and felt his stomach drop when the doctor walked in. He scooted away a little with wide eyes. Castiel tried to listen to her and began to calm some as she spoke. She started by examining his temple to check the stitches. Cas gave simple answers to her questions and tried to rate the pain he was in the best he could. When the doctor announced that she had to check the incision Dean got up to head for the door.

Cas panicked when he saw Dean get up and reached out to grab his hand.
“No, stay, please,” he asked

Dean paused when he felt the tug and looked back. His eyes softened as he saw the fear in Castiel's eyes and sat back down.
“Okay, I’m right here”

Castiel calmed a little when Dean agreed and slowly rolled onto his stomach. He closed his eyes and winced when he felt the doctor lightly nudge the stitches.
“Okay, we’re gonna keep you overnight again but you aren’t in any danger of bleeding as long as you take it easy. Don’t stay on your feet for too long and don’t try to pick up anything heavy.” She said and got up then discarded her gloves.

Cas immediately moved onto his side and pulled the blankets up.
“Thank you for staying,” he said softly and looked down.

Dean squeezed his hand and smiled at him.
“Of course. I’ll be back tomorrow okay? What size clothes and shoes are you?” He asked

Cas paused for a second when asked about his size clothing.
“I….I don’t know. I think my shoe size is 11” he said, having worn any clothing he could afford with no care for size for so long that he didn’t know.

“You look around my size, maybe a little smaller. I’ll get some things for you and I’ll be back in the morning.” Dean said and reluctantly got up. He whistled for Meg while wishing he could leave her with Cas.

Castiel hugged Meg again and pet her before encouraging her to go with Dean.
“Thank you, Dean,” he said and felt his eyes droop as the morphine spread. Castiel fell asleep not long later and at first, was okay. He got a few peaceful, dreamless hours but then the nightmares started. Cas whimpered in his sleep, twitched, and mumbled words of fright and defense. He woke up several times but fell back to sleep each time. The dark-haired man was still exhausted by the time he was checked on by the nurses in the morning. Castiel did feel a lot better physically. The scrapes were healing and old wounds were being mended by being off the streets.

Dean worried the whole drive home, all night, and back to the hospital. He had bought several whole outfits for Castiel that would be comfortable while he tried to heal and recuperate. Dean walked into the hospital that morning with the new clothes in tow and a slightly nervous smile. He had to wait outside cas hospital room while he was checked again and then was allowed in.

“Hey, I got you some clothes. There’s a shirt, sweater, boxers, sweatpants, socks, and a pair of shoes." Dean said with a more relaxed smile.

Cas looked down at the clothing in almost awe. He hadn’t had actual new clothes in a very long time.
“I……thank you, Dean. You don’t know how much this means.” Castiel said and slowly took the clothing out. It dawned on him after a moment that he’d struggle to put the boxers and pants on by himself.
“Um, I might need help putting on the boxers and pants. I can’t lift my legs very well or bend over in any way.” Cas said with pink cheeks and looked at Dean.

Dean's smile softened and he nodded.
“I’ll help….unless you want one of the nurses”

“You, I want you to help,” Castiel said since Dean was one of the only people he trusted. He slowly eased himself off the bed and leaned against it as he untied his gown. Without the gown Cas’ spine and ribs were visible. He had scrapes, minor burns from being dragged, and many bruises. The most prominent bruises were finger-shaped bruises on Castiel's hips, arms, and back. He was able to pull the shirt over his head and then stared at the boxers. After a second Cas looked at Dean.

Dean’s heart broke at the state Castiel was in. He didn’t know how much longer the man would’ve lasted on the streets if he hadn’t helped him. Dean moved slowly as he helped Cas with his boxers then the sweats and finally the socks. He couldn’t help but feel a level of intimacy.

Castiel was panting softly by the time he was fully dressed. He took a second to breathe and then tried to take a step. Cas’ legs shook and he grabbed onto Dean's arm for support.

“Woah there, take it easy,” Dean said and helped the other man with his first few steps then let him go. He watched him with concern in his eyes and stayed close.

Castiel appreciated Dean being so close to him. He did not want to be alone right now and maybe not ever. Every step that Cas took hurt and he was limping but he pushed through. He frowned when told he needed antibiotics and began to decline.

“I got them,” Dean said and paid before the other man could protest.

Cas stared at Dean once he paid for his meds.
“I don’t know how I can thank you for all of this,” he said and accepted the bag when it was handed to him.

“It’s the least I can do,” Dean said and stuck to his side as they walked outside. It had snowed the night before so the walk was a little icy. Dean made sure to stay close to Cas so he could catch him if he fell.

Castiel paused when he saw Dean’s car.
“Holy shit, your car is….wow,” he said as he looked at the classic.

Dean grinned and unlocked the passenger door.
“She’s my prized possession. My dad gave her to me when I was sixteen and I’ve had her since”

Cas slowly eased himself into the passenger seat and thought a little about how he was at sixteen. He’d been kicked out and was trying to find a full-time job.
“That’s amazing that you’ve had her for so long”

“I’ll keep her even after she stops running. So, we need to stop at the grocery store and pick up your prescriptions then I can take you back to my place.” Dean said and started the Impala up. He turned on the heat and aimed it toward Castiel. Dean tried hard not to watch him from the corner of his eye but couldn’t help it. He could see how guarded Cas was and how he almost couldn’t believe that he was being helped. It made Dean's heartache for the younger man. He parked once they arrived at a Target and made sure to walk around and open Castiel's door too.

Castiel was mostly in awe the whole car ride so it almost surprised him some when Dean opened the door. He eased himself out of the car and followed the other man inside. Cas was very careful that his ability to walk and walk well was taken into consideration. He almost protested when Dean urged him to sit in the seat usually used for people who couldn’t stand. It occurred to Castiel that he was injured a few seconds later and gently sat in the seat.

Dean began to push the cart with Cas sitting in front of him.
“So, any favorite foods?” He asked

“Oh, I uh, I can’t remember. I’ve just kinda…eaten what’s been available which hasn’t been much but I don’t know what my favorites are anymore." Castiel answered honestly.

Dean hummed as he thought of a way to rephrase.
“What about things you used to love? Before you were on the streets”

Cas couldn’t bring himself to smile when he remembered his life before the streets.
“I used to love barbecue and cheeseburgers. I was a fan of Coke and cherry pie too. I wanna try something you like to cook too” he said and peeked back at Dean.

Dean hummed and smiled as he thought of something.
“I can make a mean steak and cheeseburger so we’ll get ingredients for both,” he said and began to add things to the cart. Dean added the foods and drinks Cas mentioned as well as things they’d need in the house. He didn’t have enough food for two so he stocked up. Dean didn’t give Cas a chance to argue when they arrived at the men’s clothing section.
“I know you don’t have a lot of clothes so you can choose a few things from here to get started.” He said while resisting the urge to rub the other man’s shoulder.

Cas stared at Dean with a mixture of guilt and gratitude on his face.
“You don’t have to do all this for me,” he said with a guilty look now since they both knew how he’d spent the money Dean gave him before.

“I want to do it for you. I want to give you a solid chance of making it permanently off the streets. Please, let me do this.” Dean said and hesitantly placed a hand on cas’ shoulder.

Castiel was surprised when he didn’t flinch away from Dean's touch. He liked Dean’s touch and wanted more.
“Okay, I’ll pick a few things.” Cas gave in and began to look around at some of the items. He gently stood and limped a little as he took in his options. Castiel chose more sweatpants, a pair of loose jeans, some tee shirts, two flannels, and warm socks. He forced himself not to think about the price and then eased himself back into the seat.
“Thank you, Dean,” Castiel said and glanced back at him. He was beginning to grow tired and was starting to feel pain from his various injuries.

“Anytime Cas,” Dean said and pushed the cart toward the pharmacy.
“You have an antiviral, pain reliever, and antibiotic” he read out as he looked at the prescription. Dean set it in the cart and pushed the cart toward the checkout line. He insisted that Castiel stay in the seat and unloaded everything onto the conveyor belt.

Cas tried to help but to no avail. He didn’t want to feel useless but also knew he’d just barely got released from the hospital. Castiel forced himself to relax and let Dean do everything. He only reached for the prescription due to being told to take all three of the meds as soon as he got them. Cas was quiet the whole drive back to Dean's house. His eyes widened when they drove up to what could easily be described as a mansion.

Dean smiled as he drove up to his house. He peeked over at Cas and blinked when he saw the man’s facial expression. Dean rarely thought of how his home could look to someone who’d been through as much as Castiel had. He parked in the garage with several expensive cars parked to the right. Dean got out of the car and went around to the passenger side and opened the door.
“Here I can help you,” he said and slowly extended a hand.

Castiel was still in a bit of shock when the door opened. He looked at Dean and then down at his hand. Cas thought for a second and then took the hand offered to him. He held onto Dean as he slowly moved out of the car. Castiel swayed a little on his feet but steadied himself. He let the other man lead him inside and jumped when three dogs all barked and ran forward at the same time.

Dean chuckled a little and whistled so his two dogs would back away.
“Cas these are my dogs. The Saint Bernard is Cujo and the malamute is Siku” he said and gently let Cas go since they were past the stairs.

Cas smiled and petted both of Dean's dogs. He laughed when Meg nearly attacked him in kisses. Castiel knelt a little and hugged her. He’d missed constantly having her with him.
“I guess we have a love for big dogs in common,” Castiel said and gave Dean a little smile.

“Yeah, we do. Well, make yourself at home while I get the groceries” Dean said and lingered to make sure Castiel was okay then went back into the garage.

Cas nodded and looked around once he was alone. He took a seat at a plush recliner and pulled a blanket over his lap. Castiel smiled when Meg jumped up and laid her head on his lap too. The meds were kicking in and he felt himself drift off into a light sleep.

Dean smiled when he came back in and saw Cas asleep. He hated that the man had been through so much and hoped he could help. Dean began to cook dinner and made sure everything he cooked would be easy on Castiel's stomach. He began working on prime rib, salad, and crispy baked potatoes. Dean was so involved in his cooking that he didn’t notice Cas waking up. He only looked over when one of his dogs ran toward the living room. Dean smiled when he saw the other man.
“Hey, I’m working on dinner. It should be ready soon. I can get you some water and maybe a little snack in the meantime” he said and got a glass of water ready without an answer from Cas.

Castiel had woken up to the smell of food. The years of pushing down hunger were coming back in full force.
“Thank you for cooking Dean. Um ... .a snack sounds amazing thank you” Cas said and sat down gingerly.

Dean remembered what he’d been told to do and watch for once Cas was discharged. It seemed like the younger man was doing okay but he wasn’t entirely sure how his mental state was.
“Okay, what would you like?” Dean said before remembering that most likely Castiel wouldn’t know what he wanted.
“What about some fruit? I have lots of different kinds”

Castiel hummed when asked about fruit. He was very grateful that Dean was trying to help him.
“Apples would be good… if you have any?” Cas asked with a little smile. He was having a hard time smiling because of the weight of the memories and trauma associated with it, but he was doing his best.

“I have some apples,” Dean said and sliced a honey crisp apple into slices before setting the plate down in front of Cas.

“Thank you,” Cas said and flushed a little when he realized how many times he’d said thank you in the past few minutes. He hummed once he took a bite and slowly ate the fruit.

Dean smiled as he watched him and soon was back to cooking. It didn’t take too long before he was plating up the food and setting it down on the table.
“Alright, we have prime rib, a salad, and crispy potatoes that I baked in the oven. I got you a soda too and uh, feel free to eat as much as you’d like” Dean said and sat down next to Cas.

Castiel looked at Dean and then at the food. He knew Dean was a good cook but all food tasted amazing to him since he’d had to go so long without. Cas put two slices of meat, a small scoop of salad, and some potatoes on his plate. He cracked open the soda and took a sip. Immediately Castiels eyes began to water and the carbonation burned as it went down his throat.
“Damn, I forgot how intense carbonation can be,” He said with a chuckle.

Dean chuckled a little too.
“Yeah, I imagine it would feel that way, ” he said and filled up his plate.

Castiel smiled and took a bite of the prime rib. He groaned as soon as it touched his tongue. It was some of the best food he’d had in a long time.
“God, this is good,” Cas said and took another bite.

Dean's eyes widened just a little when Cas groaned and his cheeks heated. The sound went straight to his dick and he willed it to behave. Dean didn’t know if Cas was even gay especially since he turned his dealer down so many times.
“Good, have as much as you’d like,” he said and forced himself to focus on his food. The last thing Dean wanted was to grow feelings like that for Cas, who at the moment, was very vulnerable.

Cad smiled and nodded as he ate. He ate slowly and found his thoughts drifting to his family and how they might be doing. The only one he’d want to talk with was his brother. Cas had no idea how he’d contact anyone though. He noticed Dean's blush after a second and couldn’t help but imagine how he might look if the blush spread.
“How’d you learn to cook?” Cas asked to distract himself.

Dean smiled when he heard the question.
“My dad owns a chain of restaurants so I was constantly in the kitchen growing up. I learned most of what I know from him but I also went to culinary school in the UK and a French pastry school”

Cad listened to Dean intently and grinned.
“Is the one you work in now his?”

“No, he helped me open The Bunker when I was 19 and now I own all of it”

“That’s a kind thing for him to do,” Castiel said, reflecting on his parents and how he’d been raised. It was drastically different when compared to Dean.

Dean nodded and glanced over at Castiel.
“What about you…? Do you mind me asking how you ended up homeless?” He asked

“I don’t mind,” Cas said, then took a deep breath.
“I dropped out of high school when I was fifteen to try and support my family. My mom died when I was young and the hospital bills were high. My dad was an author but he’d never made enough to be able to fully support us. I faked my age and managed to get a job. It wasn’t a great job and where I met some terrible friends. Hannah, she uh, she introduced me to ketamine by crushing up the pill and dumping it in my water. I didn’t realize what she was doing but I know it made me feel so damn good. When my dad found out I was using he kicked me out. I tried to couch surf and that worked for a little while. I tried to get clean once and I was allowed in a group home until I was nineteen but then I had to leave. It didn’t take long for me to relapse and I’ve been on the streets since. I was able to get into some homeless shelters for a while but one of the workers found my drugs and blacklisted me. That was two years ago and well I was on the streets until you intervened” he said and looked down some as he took a deep breath.

Dean frowned as he listened for two reasons. He hated how Cas had been hurt and betrayed but the first part about his mom reminded him of another friend of his.
“I’m sorry,” Dean said honestly, feeling his heart ache for Castiel.

Cas gave him a little smile.
“It’s okay, none of it was my proudest moment but I’m trying and I’m moving forward,” he said and swallowed some.
“It was how I met Cr…..how I met….” Cas started but when his voice broke he stopped and looked away.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked,” Dean said after realizing Cas was becoming overwhelmed.

“No, it’s okay. It helps me talk about it and talking about it will help.” Cas said and gave him a tiny smile. He could tell Dean wasn’t fully convinced but he knew it was what he needed. Talking about it reminded Castiel of something important that he needed to do.
“Hey, Dean?” He asked

Dean looked over at him when asked.
“Yeah?”

“There’s a bag of ketamine in the pants I was wearing when I was taken to the hospital. I don’t trust myself enough right now to dispose of them myself but can you help me?”

“Oh, the nurses had to trash your clothing because they had to cut your pants off you”

Cas frowned at the words.
“They had to cut my pants off?” He asked

“Yeah, they didn’t want to hurt you more”

“Oh, then that solves my problem. I didn’t want any of the clothing I was wearing back so that’s good” Cas said and let out a breath. He smiled a second later because not having the drug meant he was doing something to change his life.

“Did you have enough to eat?” Dean asked as he stood and set his plate in the sink.

Cas nodded and stood to set his plate in the sink too. He didn’t know what to ask for or what he should ask for. Thankfully Dean seemed to read his mind.
“You can stay in the guest room upstairs. There’s a bathroom with a shower if you wanna shower. It’s fully stocked with shampoo, soap, towels, and washcloths” the older man said and began to put the leftovers in containers.
“I got all this so feel free to do what you’d like”

Castiel watched him and then nodded before he was making his way up the stairs. He wasn’t in as much pain anymore due to the pain meds and slowly walked up the stairs. Cas first looked in the guest bedroom then the bathroom. He grabbed everything he’d need and carefully avoided the bathroom mirror. Cas hadn’t seen himself yet and didn’t particularly want to. He got into the shower and let the water fall over him. Cas washed his hair and then began to slowly clean his body.
He hadn’t been alone in a little while at that point and the emotions he’d been pushing down bubbled back up. Castiel couldn’t keep the tears back and let himself release them in the shower. He found it nearly impossible to calm down as he relived the past few days. Cas only got out of the shower when the water turned cold. He wrapped a towel around himself but caught a glimpse of his battered torso in the process. Seeing some of what he’d endured sent him over the edge. Cas let out a sob and slapped his hand over his mouth. Sobbing led to a panic attack and he became unaware of how long he’d been in the bathroom.

Dean began to grow worried when he no longer heard any noise coming from the bathroom. He wanted to go in or knock but he also didn’t want to invade Castiel's privacy. Dean stood in front of the bathroom door and shook his head before he knocked on the door.

“Cas? You alright in there?” He called out and frowned when he only heard a strange sound. Dean swore and then opened the door. What he saw broke his heart. Cas was on the floor and was seemingly uncontrollably sobbing. Dean acted before he could stop himself. He moved into the bathroom and wrapped Cas up in a hug. Dean shushed him quietly and was surprised when Cas didn’t pull away but instead melted into it.

Castiel hadn’t expected to find comfort in Dean but as soon as he was hugged he melted. He tried to take in breaths but found it hard. Listening to Dean’s heartbeat helped him try and match. Cas felt like a burden at that moment but couldn’t find it in himself to let go.

Dean stayed right there with Cas until he eventually picked the other man up. He carried him to the guest room and helped Cas change into soft clothing. Dean then was laying on the bed with the upset man and holding him close.

Cas didn’t protest anything and leaned against Dean. He tried to breathe again and found it much easier. A few tears still leaked out but after a while cas fell asleep. His hand was gripping deans shirt but as soon he fell into a deeper sleep his grip loosened.

Dean felt his heart ache as he watched Cas sleep. He hated what had been done to Castiel and wished he could take the pain away. Dean slowly moved away from Cas and made sure the man was settled before he left the room. He let out a breath and walked downstairs. Dean couldn’t sleep so he did what usually helped him. He began to bake and decorate a large chocolate cake. Dean didn’t know how long it took and didn’t pay attention but groaned when he saw it was five in the morning. He made himself a cup of coffee and closed his eyes. Dean stayed there for a few minutes and then checked his phone. He didn’t know how to help Cas but he wanted to learn so he spent time researching. Once it became a reasonable hour Dean began to make breakfast.

Castiel woke up still feeling tired but a lot less upset. He rubbed his cheeks and sighed when he felt dried tear tracks. Cas slowly sat up and winced when he felt pain shoot up his back from his ass. He sighed and slowly stood before beginning to dress. Cas wore soft clothes and began to layer clothing but then he remembered he didn’t need to do that. He poked his head out and slowly made his way downstairs.
“Uh, hey…..thanks for helping me last night,” Cas said to Dean and gave him a little smile.

Dean looked over when he heard Cas and smiled back at him.
“You’re welcome, I’m sorry you had to go through that,” he said and slowly approached the other man. Dean gave him a cup of tea.

Cas accepted the cup and blew on it. He looked at Dean and sipped the tea slowly. Cas wanted to hug Dean and wanted to cuddle again with him. The thoughts didn’t surprise him very much but he also felt like it was too soon.
“It’s just kinda what it is,” Cas said and shrugged some, his eyes never leaving Dean.

Dean nodded a little and then forced himself to look away when he realized how long he’d been staring.
“I uh, I made breakfast. Your meds are sitting out so you should probably take those. I’ll bring the food out” he said and slowly turned to go grab the food.

Cas blushed when he realized he’d been staring for a long time too.
“Okay, thank you, Dean,” he said and forced himself not to overthink how often he was thanking Dean for things. Cas lowered himself into his seat and took all of his meds. He noticed a difference in his levels of pain almost immediately. Castiel sipped on the glass of orange juice and smiled. He hadn’t had orange juice in a long time. When Dean set the food down Cas grinned.
“This looks amazing Dean”

Dean couldn’t help but smile when Cas said the food looked amazing.
“Thank you, hopefully, it will taste amazing too,” he said and sat down next to the other man. Dean and Castiel ate breakfast in comfortable silence with a few words in between. Dean tried to stop himself from yawning but failed multiple times.
“I uh, I have to stop by the restaurant today to drop off a cake I made. If you wanted to you could come with me. I could even show you how one of your shifts would look like if you’re feeling up for it”

Castiel looked over when Dean spoke and hummed. He didn’t feel all like himself just yet but he wanted to do something. Cas couldn’t sit around with his thoughts or he’d be more of a mess than he already was.
“Yeah, I wanna see it and know what I’d be doing. We could stay for a little while if you wanted to. I want to do things. I want... I need to feel like a normal person” he said and stood to pour himself another glass of juice. Castiel paused when he saw the cake inside the fridge. That had not been there yesterday.
“When did you make this cake?” Cas asked and glanced over at Dean.

Dean felt his cheeks burn a little and he looked down.
“Oh,” he said and tried to think of a way to explain without it seeming like it was Castiel's fault but with no success.
“I couldn’t sleep. After you broke down I came down here and worked on it most of the night. I also…I guess I wanted to be available if you needed me”

Castiel felt his eyes soften from questioning to gratitude.
“I’m sorry you couldn’t sleep but it means a lot that you want to help me,” he said and smiled at him.
“I’m gonna change my clothes and then we can go?” Cas asked

“Yeah, I’ll get ready too,” Dean said and got up. He took a fast shower and dressed in casual clothing since he didn’t think they’d be staying long. Dean walked out just as Cas did and had to pause for a second. Castiel was wearing a long sleeve blue shirt and light-wash jeans. He’d put a tan sweater over top of everything and Dean found him very attractive. Dean shook himself out of it and smiled.
“Ready?” He asked and hoped Cas hadn’t seen his moment of insanity.

Cas had noticed Dean giving him a once over and felt his cheeks turn pink. He was nervous because he didn’t want anyone to touch him but also because he really, really, wanted Dean to touch him. Castiel only wanted to be touched by Dean and seeing the way Dean had looked at him only fueled that desire.
“Yeah, yeah I’m ready,” he said and followed the other man out to his car. Cas couldn’t stop admiring the classic car and smiled. He looked over at Dean and then got into the passenger seat. Cas watched the world outside as they made their way to the restaurant.

Dean purposefully parked in the back of The Bunker so Cas wouldn’t have to see his old spot and the place where he’d been raped.
“Alright well, this is the bunker. You’ll be working as a dishwasher so you’ll be in the back mostly. The food is made to order starting at twelve for lunch and five for dinner. Dishes will be slow to come so it shouldn’t be too much at once. No one else is here yet other than my head chef Benny and the baker I work with is on his way.” He said and went around to open Castiel's door for him.

Cas looked at him and felt some nerves bubble up when he heard about other people eventually being there. He was especially nervous about Benny even though he had no real reason to be. As if sensing his nerves, Dean spoke again.

“Benny’s a real softy. He acts all tough but he’s a teddy bear” Dean said and stayed close to Cas as they walked into the restaurant.
“Hey Benny, this is Cas, he’s the new dishwasher,” he said knowing that Benny knew everything anyway.

Benny looked over at Dean when he spoke and then at Cas who stood a few paces behind Dean.
“Hey brotha and you too Cas. Welcome to the bunker” he said with a smile and kept his distance since he knew that Cas had recently experienced a trauma.

Castiel gave Benny a nervous smile.
“Hi, it’s nice to meet you,” he said and fiddled with his hands a little.

“How’s this one been treating ya? He’s a softy but acts like a tough one. If Dean hasn’t yet he’ll talk your ear off about pie and his car” Benny said and grinned when Dean rolled his eyes.

“That’s not all I talk about” Dean grumbled and glared at the other man who laughed.

Cas smiled a little wider and laughed softly.
“I guess we’ll have to see,” he said and looked up at Dean with a fond smile.

Dean stared back at Cas for a minute and then blinked out of it.
“I’ll show you where you’ll be most of the time.” He said and led Castiel over to the dishwasher station.
“You’ll interact the most with Jo who sometimes helps with the dishes. She’ll help out and maybe once you feel up to it you could switch to serving too.” Dean said and shrugged a little.

Cas looked at the station and nodded. It was better than any job he could’ve found while still on the streets. Cas couldn’t help but feel a small surge of hope for a different life.
“Thank you, Dean, for everything. This….being a dishwasher is a big step” he said and ran a shaking hand through his hair. Cas was beginning to shake from withdrawal and felt sweats starting. He was determined to detox without any help though.

“It’s the least I can do. I wanna help however I can.” Dean said and then smiled when he heard a voice call out his name.
“Gabe’s here for the cake. I’ll be right back.” He said and walked out to the front. Dean smiled when he saw his future brother-in-law.
“Hey, how’ve you been? How’s wedding planning going?” He asked the short, golden-eyed man.

Gabe smiled when he saw Dean and wagged his brows.
“Dean-o! It’s going great other than Sam insisting on a salad bar.” He said and shuddered at the mere idea.

Cas froze when he heard Dean be greeted. The voice was familiar and brought back lots of memories but he had to be sure. Castiel quickly made his way out to the front and next to Dean.

Dean looked over when Cas came out front and smiled.
“Gabe this is our new hire C-“

Gabe cut Dean off when he looked over when Castiel came out.
“…cassie?”

Chapter Text

Castiel smiled a little when he saw his favorite brother and heard him speak.
“Hi Gabe…” he said softly and stared at his older brother.

Gabriel moved forward and hugged his baby brother. He hadn’t seen him since he was eighteen and still living at home.
“Dad said you were dead. God Cas, where have you been?” Gabe asked in a disbelieving voice.

Cas flinched hard when Gabe hugged him but melted into it a second later and let out a breath.
“Um…..it's a long story but I bounced around a lot and a lot has happened. Dean helped me off the streets a few days ago” he said and looked at Gabe when the other man pulled back.

“Dad said you were dead. Why are you so thin? What happened?” Gabe said and led Cas to a table. He was alarmed by how skinny his younger brother was. Gabe wanted to know everything.
“I’ll cut you some cake and get some coffee going so we can talk”

Dean watched the two of them, mentally kicking himself for not realizing that Castiel was the Cassie his friend was always talking about.
“I got it, you two catch up,” he said and went to slice the cake. Dean let out a sigh as he prepared the items before looking at Benny.
“Castiel is the same Cassie that Gabe’s always talking about. I can’t believe I didn’t put it together until now”

“Oh damn really? It's awesome that they’re reuniting. You think he’ll want Cas to move in with him?” Benny asked, wondering how Dean felt about Cas.

“Probably and I wouldn’t blame Cas if he wanted to go with him,” Dean said and sighed a little.

“Do you like that idea?” Benny asked curiously.

“I want him to stay with me if I’m honest but Gabe’s family so I guess we’ll see,” Dean said and went to set the plates and mugs down.

Castiel sat at the table with Gabe and wrapped his arms around himself. The bright lights didn’t hide a thing so the shakiness in his limbs and the hollows of his cheeks were a little more obvious. Cas hoped he wouldn’t scare Gabe away by sharing anything but he also couldn’t hide it.

Gabe was concerned about Castiel's unhealthy appearance. He wanted his brother healthy and safe, which he had a feeling had not been what his baby brother's life had been like.
“So, where were you? Why did you leave? What’ve you been doing?” Gabe asked and thanked Dean when the cake and coffee were set down.

Cas let out a sigh and wondered where he should even begin.
“Um….. Dad kicked me out because he caught me snorting up ketamine in the bathroom. I got introduced to it at work and I was hooked. I tried to stay with different friends for a while but it didn’t work out. I was homeless for two years before Dean helped me off the streets a few days ago” he said and poured some cream in his coffee then some sugar. Cas’ hands shook the whole time which he tried to hide to no avail.

Gabriel watched Cas move and observed the shakiness in his limbs. It reminded him of Sam when he’d relapsed once while they were dating.
“Are you an addict?” Gabe asked, trying to be as sensitive as possible.

Cas sipped on his coffee and swallowed a little.
“Yeah….but I’m trying to stay clean. It’s only been three days but I’m trying” he said and looked away from Gabe.

Gabe began to reach out but remembered how Cas had flinched when he’d hugged him. He slowly inched his hand out and was happy when his brother didn’t flinch again.
“If you’re trying to stay clean then great. I have a spare room. You’ll stay with me and I’ll get you into a rehab center”

Cas looked up then and shook his head.
“No, I wanna stay with Dean”

Gabe frowned at the words.
“Sorry, what? Dean is a great man and good friend but why?”

“I like Dean,” Cas said and then looked down for a second.
“Dean was there for me, he got me off the streets, and he saved me. I wanna stay with him.”

“Cas, I know Dean, he’s a sweet guy but it’s been so long. I’d like for you to stay with me….”

Cas swallowed as he listened to Gabe. He wanted to explain why he wanted to stay with Dean but he couldn’t, not yet.
“I feel safe with Dean. He’s the only person who I’ll let touch me other than you now”

Gabe sighed and nodded, unable to hide that he was offended and sad.
“Alright..”

Cas stared at him and sighed a little too.
“This doesn’t mean I don’t want a relationship with you. I want to reconnect more than anything”

He nodded and took a bite of the cake.
“I thought you were dead Cas…..we all did…to know that you’re choosing my future brother-in-law over flesh and blood hurts”

“I know it’s been a long time. It’s been a long time for me too. Also, brother-in-law? Are you engaged?” Cas asked
“I know you aren’t happy but I just….I can’t just leave Dean after he gave me food, bought food for my dog, a blanket for me, found me, paid for my medical bills, bought me clothes that I desperately needed, helped me off the streets, and so much more”

Gabe wanted to ask what Cas meant when he said Dean found him but he refrained.
“Dean's brother and I are together. We’re getting married in a few months once he finishes college, and I understand” he said and finished his cake before he stood.
“I have some wedding planning to do…”

Cas nodded to Gabe and stared.
“It was nice to see you again Gabe,” he said and reached out to squeeze his hand.

Gabe squeezed back and then left after that. Dean came out to clear the table soon after and looked toward Cas.
“Everything ok?”

Cas sighed and slowly stood.
“Um, Gabe’s upset because he wanted me to live with him but I said no because I want to stay with you”

Dean blinked and turned to Castiel.
“Wait, really?”

Cas nodded and finished his cup of coffee.He hoped it was okay that he wanted to stay with Dean.
“Oh, I mean I want you to stay with me but he’s your brother, are you sure?”

Cas swallowed a little and looked a little nervous.
“He is my brother but it’s been so long and….I trust you dean, I feel safe with you. I also….It appears as if none of my family tried to find me or help me so I don’t know how much I trust them” he said quietly since part of him wanted to believe that his family cared enough to try and find him.

“Gabe looked for you. He never stopped or that’s what he told me. Nearly drank himself into a coma when your dad had you declared dead. Sam stayed with him for weeks because he was so worried” Dean said, remembering when Sam would call him asking for help.

Castiel stared at Dean and then sighed softly.
“Oh, that’s good to know I guess. I’m still….nervous I guess..of just about everyone…but not you” he said honestly and swallowed a little bit. Cas looked down and sighed softly. The shaking in his limbs was becoming a little more prominent and he could feel his body hearing more than usual. Castiel knew the signs of withdrawal from being through them before. He’d never gone more than two months without his drug.
“Can uh, can you show me more about the job?”

Dean smiled when he heard Cas said he wasn’t nervous around him. He was glad and sad at the same time.
“Yeah, I definitely can,” Dean said and led Cas back into the main kitchen. By this time the majority of his staff had arrived and were ready for the day. Dean greeted them all and then looked over at Cas who was wide-eyed, nervous, and standing several paces away from everyone else.
“Everyone, I want to welcome the newest member of our staff. This is Castiel, he’ll be our new dishwasher” he said and relaxed when everyone greeted Cas who gave a shy smile. Everyone began to disperse except for Gordon who shook his head.
“You can’t be serious. That’s the homeless man who stayed in that one alley near here. He’s probably some addict who sells himself for his next hit. We can all see the way he’s walking around here” Gordon said loudly with a scuff.

“That’s enough Gordon. You’re excused for the day and if I ever hear you talking about anyone like that again you’ll worry about your job you hear me? Castiel is trying to get back on his feet and deserves this job.” Dean said with an angry expression.

“Are you kidding me!?” Gordon said and glared at his boss.

“I said you’re excused,” Dean said and watched as Gordon begrudgingly left his restaurant. He sighed and turned to see Cas staring at him.

Castiel had seen and heard the whole thing. He hated how Gordon assumed anything about him. Cas couldn’t deny his attraction to Dean after watching him defend him. He looked up at him and walked forward quickly before pulling Dean in for a hug. Castiel had never had anyone stand up for him like that before.

Dean was both excited and shocked when Cas hugged him. He hesitated for only a second before he hugged him back. Dean stroked the shorter man’s back and let himself be hugged. He pulled away when Benny cleared his throat.

Castiel was sure Dean was able to feel how much his body was trembling. He was sweating, fatigued, nauseous, shaky, and his head pounded. Cas had originally planned to go to the dishwashing station but he didn’t think he’d be able to make it through the day.
“I uh, I know I said that I wanted to work but I don’t think I can make it through the day. The withdrawal is getting bad” he said and closed his eyes for a second. Cas swayed while his eyes were closed and he grabbed onto the counter.

Dean reached a hand out gently and placed it on Cas’ arm to stabilize him.
“Okay, let’s get you back to my home,” he said and shifted so he could put an arm around Cas to lead him outside. Dean helped him inside the Impala and kept a wary eye on him as he drove back to the house.
“I’m gonna pick you up okay?” He said and gently picked up the other man. Dean was worried about him but he knew from his younger brother's experience that withdrawal was awful at first.

Cas didn’t fight Dean and nuzzled him when he was carried. He didn’t want to be let go or left alone. Castiel craved Ketamine but the memory of being high on it while he was violated in one of the worst ways, then having it thrown at him made him too angry and sad and terrified to ever take it again. He tucked his head into Dean's neck and wished the other man didn’t need to leave.

Dean let out a breath when Castiel tucked his head in his neck. He wanted Cas in many ways but he knew now was not the time. Dean needed to give him time to heal both physically and mentally. He carried the injured man upstairs and gently laid him on the bed in the guest room.
“I need to stay at work for a few hours but I’ll be back soon. Are you gonna be okay here by yourself?” Dean asked and sat next to Cas on the bed.

Castiel closed his eyes once he was laid down and pulled the sweater he was wearing off. He was pale and sickly looking but he assumed it was from withdrawal. Cas gripped Dean's hand without thinking it through all the way. He couldn’t help it, he wanted to be around Dean as much as possible. Dean had saved him and Castiel would forever be grateful but there had already felt like something more was there before then.
“I’ll be okay,” he said and looked up at Dean before he was sitting up. Cas stroked the other man’s cheek and in that moment he couldn’t deny it anymore. He lightly brushed his lips over Dean and then laid back down.
“I’ll look forward to you coming back”

Dean was both surprised and happy when he was touched and kissed. He looked down at the other man and leaned down to kiss him on the forehead.
“Call me if you need anything. Later we can have dinner and discuss things," Dean said and stroked Cas’ hair before hesitantly leaving the room. He let out a breath once in the Impala and couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. Dean was prepared to be questioned by Benny but assured the man that he wasn’t using Castiel and only wanted the best for him. He knew his history wasn’t great and he’d made a huge mistake in an eerily similar way before but this time felt different.

Castiel tried to sleep but he kept tossing and turning. He’d strip down to his boxers and kick off the covers only to put it all back on a few minutes later. Cas not only felt weak from the withdrawal but also from the trauma done to his body. The stitches pulled in uncomfortable ways and his head pounded from the concussion. Castiel did eventually fall asleep but once he did his mind was filled with nightmares about Crowley and the potential of being found by him. He was pleased to see water by his nightstand and drained the cup quickly. He needed water and possibly food so Castiel pushed himself upright.
Cas swayed as he walked and stared down at the stairs with an unsure look. He persisted anyway and held onto the railing as he tried to walk down the stairs. Castiel knew he’d made a bad decision when he started seeing spots and gripped the railing tighter. He paused a few times but groaned when he realized he’d only gotten down three steps. The dark-haired man swayed once again before his eyes slipped closed and he tumbled down the stairs.

Chapter Text

Dean stayed through the lunch rush before his worry got the better of him. He announced that he was leaving after making a meal for himself and for Castiel then headed out. Dean had a plan of discussing a therapy and addict group to Cas once the man was physically healed. It didn’t take long to arrive at his home and unload the car.
“Cas, I’m home and I brought food” Dean called out as he walked through the garage door. He was immediately on alert when he got no response and heard no movement. Dean set the food boxes down and slowly crept through the kitchen to the living room. He ran when heard a groan and then to Castiel's side when he saw the man at the bottom of the stairs.
“What happened?!” Dean asked and knelt next to him.

Cas had only just woken up and let out a groan when Dean arrived. He glanced at the other man, then down at himself, and finally up at the stairs.
“I…I think I fell down the stairs” Cas managed to say before growing alarmed when he saw blood on his hands. He tried to stand but groaned when his head swam.
“I don’t think I can stand on my own,” Castiel said and tried to pinpoint where the pain was coming from. Most notably was pain in his head but there was also an unpleasant burn coming from between his legs.

Dean didn’t think and simply picked cas up instead of helping him stand.
“I’m getting you to the hospital. You probably tore the stitches and reinjured your head” he said and held Cas close as he moved into the garage then into the car. Dean set him down in the passenger's seat and moved quickly. He felt a heightened urge to protect Castiel and get him as much help as he possibly could. The first hospital, which was the same one Cas been discharged from, told them to wait in the waiting area. Dean found this statement incredibly irritating and felt they did not understand the care needed so he left.

Castiel meanwhile was getting lightheaded from the concussion and blood loss. He’d lost a dangerous amount of blood the first time he was admitted so losing anymore wasn’t good. Cas had given in to his urges to be close to dean and to touch him. He laid his head on Dean's shoulder on the way to the second hospital and easily fell asleep which was worrisome with a concussion.

Dean became more worried when Cas fell asleep on his head and pressed down on the gas. He ran inside the second hospital with Castiel in his arms and was pleased when the nurses immediately took him back. Dean explained the circumstances to the nurses while he waited. The reactions he got reassured him that the medical staff cared and were doing their best. Once the relatively short surgery was done, dean was allowed into Cas’ room. He was then told that Castiel would be kept in the hospital for five days and would be on bedrest for an additional five due to withdrawal and the severity of his injuries.

Cas was pulled slowly to consciousness over the next few hours. He smiled when the first person he saw was Dean.
“Hello Dean” Cas whispered and blinked a couple times as he adjusted to the light of the room.

Dean smiled when Castiel spoke to him and smiled at him. Being on the receiving end of one of Cas’ smiles felt amazing.
“Hey, how are you feeling?” Dean asked and squeezed cas’ hand that he’d been holding.

Castiel hummed and gently tugged on Dean's hand.
“Tired, nothing hurts anymore” he said softly and closed his eyes for a second then opened them again.

Dean smiled when cas tugged on his hand and got up from the chair.
“Want me to lay next to you?” He asked, hoping it wouldn’t seem too much.

Cas immediately nodded and scooted over so Dean could be next to him. He desperately wanted some gentle and positive touches from the other man.

Dean tried to be as careful as possible when getting on the hospital bed. He was unsuccessful a few times but it was worth it since he got to hear Cas laugh. Finally, Dean found a good spot and settled in then opened up his arms for Castiel.

Castiel immediately moved in when Dean opened his arms. He hugged him and tucked himself up against him. Cas let out a soft breath and was able to ground himself as he held onto Dean. He felt so incredibly fragile at that moment.

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel and after a few moments he pressed a kiss to his forehead.
“Do you want me to call Gabe?” He asked and called once he got the okay from Cas. Dean explained that Castiel was in the hospital and that he’d asked for him, which had Gabe racing to the hospital as soon as he could. He glanced down at Cas and gently rubbed his back.
“So, I know you wanna stay with me and I really want you to stay too. I like you Cas but you have to stay in the hospital for five days and then will be confined to bed rest for another five once released. I can’t take that much time off work so I think that for now it might be better for you to stay with Gabe” Dean said softly while hoping his words were taken well.

Castiel listened to Dean and felt a little disappointed but knew that it would be better. He also wanted a relationship with Gabriel. Cas had missed his brother for so long and wanted to know him again.
“I think that might be a good idea. Will you come visit me?” He asked, feeling a little anxious about the possibility of not seeing Dean.

“Of course I’d come visit you” Dean said and stared at him for several long seconds.
“So, uh, earlier, before I left-“ he began but cas cut him off.

“I shouldn’t have kissed you. That was too far and I didn’t ask and I’m sorry Dean. It was a stupid thing for me to do” Cas said and sighed softly when he thought of what he’d done

Dean blinked at the words and gently reached down to cup castiel's cheeks.
“I don’t think it was stupid” he said and leaned in slowly until he was close to Cas’ lips.
“Is this okay?” Dean asked softly

Cas stared up at him and nodded.
“Yes”

Dean smiled and then gave him a soft kiss that he deepened a second later. Cas hummed when he felt dean kiss him and kissed back. He felt incredibly safe and happy at that moment. Castiel had strong feelings developing for Dean and even though he definitely wasn’t ready for anything else, he liked kissing him. He smiled happily up at him and hugged him again. Cas looked over when his hospital room opened and the doctor walked in, a female doctor instead of a man.

“Hi castiel, I’m Ann, it’s nice to meet you” she said and moved over to check his chart.

“It looks like you had a fall today which tore some stitches in the anal region that we had to go in to repair. We did notice some first signs of infection, so we’ll need to keep a close eye on that as well as a concussion that worsened when you fell. We’re planning on keeping you for five days to make sure an infection doesn’t develop and to watch your head. Once you’re released you’ll be confined to bed rest for another five days.” Ann explained and cas verbally said he understood since nodding was definitely not a good idea. The doctor excused herself after that and left the pair alone.
It wasn't long after she left that Gabe knocked on the door then poked his head in. Castiel hadn’t even moved his head when he heard the knock. He didn’t want to move from his position tucked against Dean with his head in his chest. Dean did look up and managed to give Gabe a small smile.

“Hey cas, Gabe’s here” he whispered and stroked the other man’s back gently.

Cas glanced up and managed a small smile when he saw his older brother.
“Hi Gabe” he said and averted his eyes since he hadn’t told Gabe why he was here or explained his situation with Dean.

Gabe smiled when he saw his younger brother. It pained his heart to see Castiel so broken and struggling.
“Hey cassie” he said and went to sit in the chair on the side. Gabriel was quiet for a minute before he looked back up at Cas.
“Cassie..what happened?” He asked but didn’t push him to share since he didn’t know for sure but had an idea.
Castiel swallowed and shifted so he could see Gabe.
“Um…three days ago I was r-raped..by my drug dealer. When I went back to Dean's house after seeing you at the restaurant I passed out and fell down the stairs and tore the stitches” he said softly and laid his head back on Dean's chest when a few tears fell from his eyes. Cas wiped his eyes and took a soft breath before he looked back up at Gabe.

“My dog apparently tracked Dean to his restaurant and raised hell until Dean followed her back to me,” he said and looked away from Gabe. Even though Castiel logically knew that being raped wasn’t his fault, he still felt like others might think it was his fault.

Gabe’s gaze hardened as he listened to Cas speak.
“I see, I uh, I need a second” he said and left without a second to pause.

Castiel did look up then and watched him as he went. His whole body felt cold and he let out a shaky breath. Cas immediately was thinking the absolute worst, that Gabe blamed him and was disgusted by him.
“Does…do you think he hates me now? Or he blames me?” He asked, mostly voicing his thoughts out loud when it was too hard to keep them in.

Dean sighed softly and wished he could find Gabe and smack him
“I think he was just surprised. You're not the only loved one who’s gone through this..for both of us” he said and lightly played with cas’ hair.
“My younger brother and Gabe’s fiancé was sexually assaulted by his adderall dealer. We both helped him through it and now it’s happened to you so he’s going through it again. He’ll come back, don’t worry”

Castiel listened with a sad look on his face. On one hand, he felt awful that something so terrible had happened to Dean's brother, but on the other hand he was happy to know that he wasn’t alone. Cas let out a shaky breath and found himself unable to resist sleep any longer.
“I hope so” he said and fell asleep soon after. Cas was still asleep when Gabe walked back through the door.

Gabriel stared at his younger brother once he’d walked into his room. He felt bad for leaving but he hadn’t wanted Castiel to see him so angry. Gabe blamed their father for the way cas’ life was turning out. He couldn’t help but wonder what would’ve happened if Chuck hadn’t kicked his brother out.
“I got McDonalds,” Gabe said and sat by cas’ bedside again.

Dean glanced over and smiled a little since it was stereotypical that Gabe would end up with food. He didn’t immediately wake Cas up and sighed softly.
“You made him worry that you blamed him” Dean mumbled and lightly stroked Castiel's back.

Gabe swore quietly and sat down with a sigh.
“I don’t know how to deal with this. Sam was different because he’s my fiancé and I love him. Cassie though…so much has happened” he said and looked defeated for a moment. Gabe felt a responsibility for Castiel and he hated that he had not been there when his brother needed him the most.

Dean nodded to the words, understanding exactly what Gabe might be going through. He’d been told his whole life that he needed to look after Sammy and he hadn’t.
“I get it man, when Sam told me what happened I nearly lost it-“ Dean said but abruptly stopped when Castiel began to stir.

Cas blinked his eyes open with a soft groan and smiled when he first saw Dean but froze a little when he spotted Gabe. He knew it was unlikely that his older brother blamed him but it didn’t stop his stupid mind from thinking it.

Gabriel glanced over to his baby brother and his gaze turned sad.
“Cassie…I’m sorry that I walked out. I needed a second because I didn’t want you to see me be angry. I don’t blame you though cassie, I could never do that. I uh, I brought McDonald’s” he said and picked the bag up.

Cas stared at his older brother for a second and then sat up the best he could. He reached over and hugged Gabe tightly.
“Thank you gabe. I have a hard time not getting into my head about it” Cas said and glanced over at the McDonald’s.
“Thanks for bringing food too” he said and pulled back from the hug. McDonald’s was one thing that was familiar to Castiel since it was the only luxury he could afford on the streets.

Dean moved slowly so he was sitting up and helped Cas so he could lean against him while eating. He was unable to stop himself from rubbing Castiel's back or lightly stroking his hair. Dean smiled when cas gave him a little smile and leaned into the touches.

Castiel ate slowly and tried not to eat too much. He was mindful of his stitches and how they were in a less than ideal spot. Cas did manage to eat the burger and some of the fries before he stopped. He was quiet for a little bit and then looked at Gabe.
“Is the offer to stay with you still standing?”

Gabe blinked and then nodded.
“Yes, of course it is cas”

Cas smiled a little when he heard the words.
“Thank you Gabe. I uh..I only have clothes and a blanket and Meg too. Can Meg stay with you too? I know this isn't ideal for you so if you need me to go I will. I was supposed to have a job, but the doctor said I’d be on bedrest for five days and I have to take it easy or whatever for like a really long time” he began to ramble as he started overthinking the offer.

“Cas no, I…I looked for you, for years. Dad told me to stop but I couldn’t. I figured out different places you’d stayed and jobs you had but I was always too late. When dad had you declared dead I was pissed and sad and nearly drank myself dead. Sam had to come out and stay with me for a couple weeks. Now you’re here and I missed you so much. I want you around and I’ll help you however I can” Gabe said and felt a little emotional when remembering how he’d become hopeful when he found information about cas only to find that he was too late.
“Who’s Meg?” He asked after a couple minutes.

Castiel felt himself get a little emotional too while listening to Gabe. He smiled when asked about Meg since the name wasn’t a common dog name.
“Megs my dog, I’ve had her for a few years. I found her in a box of abandoned puppies outside a shelter. She’s a German Shepard who ran and raised hell in Dean's restaurant until she led him back to me” cas said, a fond smile on his face when thinking of Meg.

Gabe grinned when he heard the story.
“She is more than welcome to come too. I don’t have any pets so she’ll be just fine. I’m excited to meet her when you can leave” he said and relaxed back into the chair.

Cas smiled when he heard Meg could come. He had so many questions for his older brother.
“So uh, how did you know I was gone? Did dad tell everyone that he kicked me out?”

Gabe let out a heavy sigh when remembering that time.
“Not initially but he told me eventually. He tried to say that you’d run away but it didn’t feel right so I pestered him until he told me. I was pissed at him, I’m still pissed at him. You were fucking sixteen so he should’ve had you go with a family member. I immediately started looking for you but…you were gone”

Cas listened to him and frowned at the words.
“Well you found me now. Seems like I was closer than you realized. How…when did dad have me declared dead?”

“A year and a half ago but I’m sure he’d be thrilled to know you’re alive”

Castiel felt his body grow cold for a second. He didn’t want his father to know anything. Cas shivered when he remembered how hostile it had become between them when he was a teen. He didn’t know for sure but he had a sinking feeling that chuck wouldn’t take too kindly knowing he was an addict and now a rape victim.
“You didn’t tell him, did you?”

Gabe frowned at the way his brother's demeanor changed.
“No, I wanted to know what you wanted first. I won’t tell him”

Cas relaxed when Gabe said he didn’t tell him.
“Okay, I don’t know if I want him to know just yet. I don’t know how he’d react” he said and swallowed a little before he changed the subject.
“So, how’s Anna doing? And Michael?”

Gabriel did notice his brother's subject change but let it go.
“Michael’s off flouncing around in Europe somewhere. He doesn’t really keep in touch. Anna married a British man named Balthazar. She’s seven and half months pregnant with a baby boy. She’s been doing really well. You’ll never guess what she’s naming him” he said with a happy but amused grin.

Castiel chuckled a little at the description of what Michael was doing. His oldest brother never did seem the type to settle down. Cas tilted his head a little at the name comment.
“What?” He asked with a curious smile.

Gabe only grinned widened when his youngest brother asked what the name was.
“Castiel”

Cas briefly froze in a bit of shock before he smiled.
“Really? Why?” He asked with a little chuckle.

“We all missed you that’s why! Everyone took it hard and it changed the way everything was. Holidays, special events, your birthday, it all was different” Gabe said and looked sad for a moment before he smiled.
“That won’t be the case anymore”

Cas stared for a long moment but then he smiled.
“I guess I was just…so preoccupied with my addiction that it didn’t even occur to me that anyone would miss me. Is…is Anna close by?” He asked, now feeling the urge to reunite with his family.

Gabe gave him a soft smile and lightly patted Castiel's arm.
“None of us blame you cassie. I’m just glad that you’re here now and you’re alive. Anna does live near here. Do you want me to call her?” He asked

Castiel's smile faltered for a second when he thought about his current state of mind and health.
“Maybe...maybe tomorrow? I don’t think I want to see anyone else right now” he said since the idea of telling another person what happened made him feel physically ill.

Gabe nodded and fell quiet for a little bit as he processed everything he’d just heard. He wished he could’ve helped his younger brother sooner.
“So uh, have you called the police to report an assault? Or has anyone called?”

Castiel glanced over when asked about reporting.
“The other hospital did a rape kit but no officers ever came to talk with me. Maybe they didn’t take it seriously. I’m sure they hear about addicts being raped on the streets all the time” he said and glanced away when he felt shame hit him like a trunk. Cas wondered if anything would’ve been different if he hadn’t been under the influence. He gave Dean a little smile when he felt a light squeeze from the other man.
“I think I do want to report it though even if they didn’t do anything the first time” Castiel said and shifted a little in the lumpy hospital bed. Having Dean so close did wonders for his ability to relax.

Gabe nodded and suddenly had an idea forming about something he could do.
“You said his name was Crowley right?” He asked, acting like maybe he’d heard something about him before.

Cas nodded and resisted the urge to flinch from hearing Crowley’s name.
“Yeah, I used to meet him on a bridge near the edge of town. I think it was abandoned since there never seemed to be any cars and there was lots of graffiti”

Gabe nodded slowly and stood from where he’d been sitting.
“I’m gonna pick up some things for you so this hospital room can be a little nicer. I’ll be back soon” he said and hugged his baby brother again before he walked out of the door. Gabe needed to do something about this Crowley guy who had hurt his younger brother so much. He changed at his home so he looked the part of a buyer and headed to the bridge. Gabe definitely agreed with Castiel once he got there because it wasn’t the nicest of places. It didn’t take long before Crowley came swaggering down the bridge. Gabe stood when he saw him and walked slowly closer. He made sure to press the record button on the app he’d downloaded while waiting.

Crowley slowed down when he saw an unknown man walking toward him. He assessed the guy and decided he was probably there to buy.
“I haven’t seen you before. Not many meet me on this bridge unless you’re here to buy”

“I heard you sell ketamine. Someone told me you’d help me out” gabe said while trying to keep any anger out of his voice. This man in front of him had hurt his brother like no one ever deserved to be hurt.

“My best customer always met me here but he’s probably a little indisposed at the moment” Crowley said with a smirk when remembering the last few days.

“Yeah, Castiel huh? He told me you’d be here and that you accept..different..kinds of payment”

Crowley let out a chuckle that was sparked with danger when he heard the words.
“Oh yeah, he got exactly what he wanted that way. Always coming around here with whatever he could find to get his fix. I knew what he really wanted though so I decided to give it to him. Although, I gotta say, if you want someone who can handle it, he’s not who you’d want”

Gabe barely resisted the urge to hit the awful man in front of him.
“Oh? Maybe I’ll find him and hit him up some time. So what can I get for ten?” He asked

Crowley hummed and pulled out half a bag.
“I’ll throw in two if you drop your pants and bend over. I’ll be fast and you look like you take it better”

Gabe scoffed and rolled his eyes.
“No way, I’ll take the half bag. I don’t do that kind of thing” he snapped and handed the ten over.

“Someone’s angry but fine” Crowley said and handed the drugs over but not without looking the smaller man up and down.

Gabe grabbed them and slowly backed away. He didn’t feel like he could let the other man out of his sight. The shorter man did eventually turn around and turned off the recorder. Gabe smiled as he made his way back to the hospital. He stopped midway and picked up a heated fuzzy blanket, flowers, fluffy socks, and a small radio. Gabriel arrived back at the hospital almost two hours later and made his way to Castiel's room. He passed two officers headed the same direction. Gabe was determined to be there as much as possible for his baby brother.
“Hey, did you guys contact the police?” He asked and sat in the chair next to cas.

Castiel glanced at him and swallowed hard.
“Yes, I decided to officially file a report” he said just as the officers knocked on the door. Cas paled a little bit and his heart monitor started beeping faster. He closed his eyes and breathed slowly until he felt like he could open his eyes again.
“I can do this,” Castiel said mostly to himself.

The officers were allowed in the room after Cas gave the okay. They explained why they were there and then began to ask questions about what happened. Castiel gripped Dean's hand as he began to once again recount the assault. He told the officers where he thought the attack took place so they’d be able to see the blood and signs of struggle. Cas was relieved when they did not need to examine him and felt panic hit him hard when the report was done. Everything felt fuzzy and he couldn’t breathe and he felt himself pulled back into the memories. It felt like it went on forever but then he felt his body calming and Cas was able to see Dean, Gabe, and a nurse who all appeared concerned. He hated that he saw tears in both Dean and Gabe’s eyes. Cas blinked a couple times and frowned a little at the way his body felt. He felt sluggish and sleepy and wondered if he’d been given anything.
“W-what happened?” Castiel managed to mumble after a second.

Dean gave him a soft but slightly pained smile.
“You had a panic attack. The nurse injected something in your I.V to help you calm down” he said and hesitated before he lightly squeezed cas’ hand.

Cas looked at Dean's hand on his own and then looked back up at Dean before he leaned against the man.
“Oh, I..I’m sorry” he said quietly.

Dean frowned and hugged him after a second.
“You don’t have to be sorry for anything” he said and rubbed Castiel's back a few times. Dean hated what had been done to Cas and wished he could make it better.
“Try and sleep okay? One of us will be here the whole time” he said and lightly guided the smaller man so he was laying down. Dean watched over him until Castiel was breathing evenly and asleep. He sighed and sat down then hung his head.

Gabe swallowed a little as he watched Dean and cas. He hoped that Castiel was happy and felt safe with dean.
“So uh, I went to see Crowley”

Dean's head snapped up and he glanced at Gabe.
“What? Why would you do that?”

“I wanted to hear him admit it and uh-“ Gabe paused and pulled up the recording app on his phone.
“I recorded it”

Dean stared at him then at the app. Slowly a smile spread across his face and he chuckled a little.
“Holy shit, that was sketchy but genius”

Gabe grinned when his plan had worked.
“I already sent it over to Jody so she can do with it what she likes. He definitely incriminated himself”

Dean felt a sense of relief when he thought of what that could mean.
“We might just get him with that”

Chapter Text

It was day two at the hospital that Castiel agreed to let Gabe contact Anna. He’d been nervous about it but he wanted to see his sister again after so long. Cas shifted around in his hospital bed as Gabe called their sister. He smiled when he heard Anna’s puzzled and inquisitive voice respond to Gabe but eventually agreed to come to the hospital. Cas shifted a little bit and sighed when a nurse walked into his room to announce she wanted him to try and walk. He was nervous about it but agreed to at least try. Castiel made Gabe turn away while he put hospital pants on with the nurse's help. He tried to take a step but his legs wobbled and he winced slightly. Cas let the nurse help him and eventually he did become better at walking but left him feeling exhausted. He was helped back into bed where he promptly fell asleep.

Anna texted Gabe when she arrived at the hospital a few hours later. She was given a room number and began to grow a little suspicious as she made her way upstairs. Anna wasn’t surprised to see Gabe outside of a hospital room.
“Gabriel what’s going on?” She asked and crossed her arms over her pregnant belly.

Gabe smiled a little at her and gave her a hug before he did anything else.
“I found a stray,” he said and opened the door to Castiel's room.

Anna hugged back and kept frowning at him until he opened the door. She looked in before she walked in but not before her face smoothed out in recognition. Anna stared at cas then at Gabe and then back at cas again.
“Castiel?”

Cas had woken up shortly before Anna arrived so he still appeared sleepy. He gave her a little smile and felt relief that she was here.
“Hey Anna”

“Oh my god cas, where have you- what- how did you get here?” Anna stumbled a little as she walked closer to her younger brother. She could tell something bad and big had happened but wasn’t about to ask. Anna knew better than anyone that after a trauma it was better to be present. She gave Castiel a hug once she was close enough.
“I thought we’d never find you”

Cas hugged back and felt tears prickle at his eyes when asked how he got there. There was so much he could say and so much he didn’t want to say.
“A friend of mine helped me off the streets a week ago. Gabe happened to be a friend of his and we reconnected” Castiel settled on and pulled away with a frown when he heard what sounded like water hitting the floor.
“Did your water just break?”

Anna’s eyes widened and she groaned when she realized what happened. It was too soon, she was only 32 weeks along.
“Yes, fuck, Gabe can you call Bal?” Anna asked and gripped the side of cas’ hospital bed as a contraction hit her.

Castiel stared at her with wide eyes. He hit the nurse button to get more help and tried to move upright. The nurse didn’t have any questions when she walked into the room and saw Anna then the light water on the floor. It was chaos from there of nurses coming in and out. One took Anna’s vitals and found the baby’s heart beat. Another helped her into a wheelchair and off she went to the maternity ward. Cas kept a grip on the IV pole and focused on it as Gabe pushed him in a wheelchair after Anna. They weren’t allowed to stay with Anna so they waited in the maternity ward for updates. Shortly after a blonde man came running through the doors and asked about Anna.

Balthazar muttered obscenities under his breath when he was not allowed to see his wife. He dragged a hand down his face and walked over to Gabe.
“What happened?”

Gabe sighed a little when he saw Balthazar. He liked his brother in law but the man always gave him a bad vibe.
“She came here to see Cas but I think maybe the shock kickstarted labor”

Balthazar frowned and shook his head.
“Cas? You mean the dead one?” He said, seemingly just now noticing the third person in the room.

“Not dead” cas said and gave his apparent brother in law a weak smile. He was starting to feel lightheaded but wasn’t about to tell anyone about it.

Balthazar stared at the other man. He could visually see that something was wrong with him and he wasn’t in the best of health but there was something he couldn’t put his finger on.
“Oh, hello, I’m Balthazar Anna’s husband,” Balthazar said and held out his hand.

The sudden movement made Cas flinch but he brushed it off and shook Balthazar’s hand. He immediately didn’t like his brother in law but he didn’t take well to most people. The conversation trailed off as all three of them waited for an update for Anna. Castiel frowned when he heard over several staff radios that there was a code green in another department. He wanted to ask what that meant but didn’t want to disturb. The longer they waited the more lightheaded and pale cas got.

He glanced away when Balthazar angrily demanded to know what was happening to his wife. One of the nurses noticed Castiel and approached him while several other coworkers tried to handle Balthazar. She asked to see his hand which cas tilted his head at but extended his arm to her. He realized after a second that she was looking at his hospital bracelet. Cas wasn't phased when she announced into the radio that the code green from ICU was in the maternity ward. He wasn’t sure what happened next but he woke up to his vitals being taken and a concerned Gabriel.

Castiel protested being taken back to the ICU but relented when Gabe said he’d update him on Anna. He had to be helped onto a hospital bed before being wheeled back to his room. Cas had further checks once back in his own room. Much to his dismay it was discovered that he had developed an infection, which combined with withdrawal had made him pass out. A new medication was added to his already lengthy list to help fight it. Cas fell asleep soon after being administered the new medication.

Gabriel eventually did come and visit his younger brother once Anna was in the clear. He told him how she’d needed an emergency surgery and the baby was born via C section. Baby Castiel would need to stay in the NICU for awhile and Anna also would be in the hospital while she recovered. Cas was happy about the news and was finally able to relax. He gave Gabe a hug when the nurses told them visiting hours were over and watched him go. Castiel smiled a little once he was alone because it seemed like things were looking up. He’d finally remembered the reasons why he should stay clean and get better. Castiel fell asleep a few hours later and for the first time since the assault had a dreamless night.

It was around two the next day that Castiel decided to call his father. Gabriel had left a phone with him in case of emergencies but he had yet to touch it. Cas had been alone for several hours after both Dean and Gabriel had been told visiting hours were over. He held his breath as he waited for the call to connect.

“Gabriel? Any updates on Anna?” Chuck answered and set the phone on speaker in his living room.

Cas swallowed when he heard his dads voice. He hoped this call would go well all things considered.

“Hey dad” He started with and wished his voice would sound a little stronger.

“Castiel?” Chuck asked in almost disbelief at hearing his son's voice for the first time in nearly a decade.

“Yeah, I uh… I wanted to give you a call. I reconnected with Gabe and he’s been staying with me”

“Staying with you? Where are you living?”

“Oh uh, I meant he’s been staying with me in the hospital. I got hurt…I think a week ago. It’s a long story but he found me”

Chuck rolled his eyes and let out a sarcastic laugh.
“The hospital? Trying to score more drugs I see. Give that bed up to someone who really needs it”

Castiel frowned when he heard the words. He knew his father would be less than happy to know he was an addict and had been homeless but not like this.
“No, I’ve actually been clean for a week. I was hurt on the streets and someone nearby helped. I’m not…even if I was here for drugs I wouldn’t be able to afford it”

“Being jumped isn’t a reason to go to the hospital Castiel. Don’t give me that, you’d do anything for those precious drugs you depend on”

Cas closed his eyes and sighed, feeling himself growing angry.
“Getting myself admitted to the hospital for one specific drug is a terrible idea. It’s also a great way to get myself arrested which I don’t need and I wasn’t jumped”

“There’s no other reason for you to be there. You need to give that bed up for someone who really needs it” Chuck said in a manner that told Cas he didn't really believe anything he said.

“I do need it, I was fucking raped on the streets ok!? My dog led someone back to me and I ended up here. You can’t just..wait for that kind of injury to heal. Someone can die from infection that way” cas blurted and immediately regretted it.

Chuck was quiet for a moment but then he started laughing.
“Don’t be ridiculous Castiel, just because you had rough sex and regretted it doesn’t make it rape”

Cas felt his body grow numb and he almost drifted out of himself.
“Are you fucking kidding me? It wasn’t rough consensual sex. My drug dealer followed me until I was alone, held me down, and- I don’t need to explain how it happened to you”

“Men can’t be raped Castiel. That’s just the way it is. I don’t want to know any details of what you and your partner did together.”

“It wasn’t my partner and there’s evidence of violence and injury that isn’t the same as rough sex, there’s scans and signs and..that’s just what it was”

“No it wasn’t, men can’t be raped and that’s it. I will hear nothing else about it. You were probably just offering yourself up for your next hit” chuck snapped into the line.

Cas stayed on the line for a second longer then hung up the phone. The words rang in his ear and he couldn’t breathe. He didn’t know what he’d expected from the man who’d thrown him out at the first sight of a drug. Castiel wondered what his life could’ve been like if his father had simply asked what happened instead of immediately throwing him out. For once he didn’t feel sadness or despair he simply felt numb. Cas didn’t speak with the nurses coming to check up on him and curled on his side.

Chapter Text

Castiel didn’t want anyone to talk to him like they thought he mattered because he didn’t. At one point he lashed out at a nurse and became increasingly upset until they gave him medication to calm him. The dark-haired man fell asleep shortly after and was still groggy when he finally woke up the next morning. Castiel asked for an extra blanket and curled up with it. He didn’t even notice when Dean walked into his room or when the man greeted him. He blinked when Dean's concerned face appeared in front of him.

“Hey there sleepy, you okay?” Dean asked

Cas stared at Dean and felt doubt hit him hard. Did Dean like him? Or did he just feel sorry for him? Or god forbid he felt pressured?
“Yeah, I’m okay”

The other man stared at Cas with a little frown. Dean scooted a little closer to him and reached out to lightly stroke his cheek.
“Is it an off day? Not every day is gonna be all sunshine and rainbows but that’s okay. Do you need anything? Maybe a hug?” He asked with an unintentionally dazzling smile.

Cas felt himself melt a little at the words and smile from Dean. He didn’t know how the other man was so damn charismatic all the time. Castiel nodded when asked if he needed a hug and shifted upright. He glanced up at Dean and then met him in the hug. Cas let himself settle into the hug and enjoyed the feeling of Dean's arms around him. He wished he understood why he liked being touched and held by the older man so much. Castiel nuzzled him and smiled when he felt a kiss on his head. He pulled away after a while and glanced down at his hands then back up at Dean.
“I called my dad yesterday…after you and Gabe left. It didn’t go well” Cas finally admitted.

Dean frowned at the words because he’d always known Chuck to be a relatively laidback guy.
“What’d he say?”

“He accused me of only being in the hospital to get drugs and..and told me that men couldn’t be raped. He called Crowley my partner and said that ‘having rough sex and regretting it later isn’t rape’ so I hung up on him”

Dean had to quickly school his face because he was angry. Who the hell did Chuck think he was saying that?
“The asshole did what? He doesn’t know anything about this and hell Sam's gonna be his son-in-law and he’s been through this too. That shit isn’t true so don’t believe any of it” Dean said and hugged him again.

Cas hugged back and squeezed his eyes shut. He was tired of crying and feeling nothing but sadness and fear.
“I’m tired of feeling bad and feeling dirty. I don’t need to worry that someone won’t believe me. I was finally starting to have better days but what happens when I have to see my dad? Is he going to constantly hold me back? I need something good other than you and Gabe” Cas said and sniffled even though there were no tears.

Dean rubbed the other man’s back and kissed his head.
“You shouldn’t have to worry about that, especially from your own family. You deserve something good and you’ll find it I promise you” he said and let Cas hug him for as long as he needed. Dean wanted to find Chuck and talk some sense into him.

Cas eventually did pull away and felt his eyes droop again. He laid back down and hugged the extra blanket surrounding him. Castiel couldn’t get the cold, sad feeling away and he hoped he could sleep it off.

Dean stroked his cheek and kissed his forehead.
“Sleep, I’ll come back soon okay?” He said and waited for Cas to nod then walked out of the door. Dean punched his steering wheel once in the car and then drove to Chuck's home. He’d been there for an engagement party so he sort of recognized where he was going. Dean was angry at Chuck but mostly he was angry for Cas. The man deserved love and a caring family and he hated that Chuck wasn’t part of it. Dean parked and knocked on the man’s door a little harder than necessary.

Chuck opened the door slightly and peered outside.
“Do I know you?” he asked, vaguely recognizing Dean.

“Yeah, I'm Dean, a friend of Gabe's. I own the steakhouse in town, The Bunker”

“Oh, hello, did you need something?”

“Yeah, I'm also a friend of Castiel. He told me what you said when he gave you the reason he was hospitalized”

Chuck sighed and rolled his eyes.
“I was only giving him the facts. Just because you decide to have sex with someone and change your mind halfway through doesn't make it rape and it certainly doesn't put you in the hospital”

“He was high and his dealer attacked then forced intercourse on him. He never gave consent”

“And what makes you so sure? He could've wanted more drugs”

“He told me everything, and I found him high, bleeding, and beaten. It's ignorant bastards like you that allow rapists to walk free!”

“I find that hard to believe. Sure, men rape women all the time but it's never the other way around” Chuck said with a chuckle.

Dean let out a disbelieving and humorless chuckle.
“A man followed your son, beat him, and forced him to have sex. People like you who think men can't be raped are fucking disgusting”

Chuck paused and stared at him for a second.
“He's claiming he was raped by another man?”

“Yes, you dick! His dealer, a man, raped him! Not that you give a fuck!”

“I care for all of my sons and my daughter. I searched for Castiel for a long time only to find that he'd thrown away his chance at a new life to party and use drugs” Chuck said calmly, thinking that if Cas truly got raped by his dealer that he probably deserved it.

Dean glared and punched the other man.
“You think he purposefully bought drugs? His co-worker crushed the pills and dumped them in his water. He didn't willingly take them at first but then he was hooked. He was homeless and nearly died because he was attacked!”

Chuck grunted with the force of the punch and stumbled back. He glared and threw a punch at Dean's way, hitting him on the cheek.
“He can control his own life! He didn't have to keep using it, that was his choice. It's his own idiot's fault for getting himself hooked and leading his dealer on!”

Dean groaned when he was struck, already feeling the skin starting to swell.
“You're disgusting. Anna and Gabriel are gonna love to hear this when I get back to the hospital”

“Don't turn my kids against me because you like Castiel”

“I like all of your kids. Gabes my best friend, and if you remember, my soon to be brother in law”

“You’ve never acted this way about Gabe before”

“Gabe was never raped. You gonna apologize to your kid or what?”

Chuck glared and crossed his arms then shut the door in Dean's face.

Dean scoffed, pulled his phone out, and called Gabriel as he left.

Gabe picked up on the second ring.
“Hey Deanio”

“Hey Gabriel, so you're gonna fucking love this. Castiel called Chuck and spoke with him. Bastard all but said Cas deserved what happened to him”

Gabe was quiet for a moment.
“The fucker said what?” he asked again to make sure he heard correctly. Gabriel never thought their father would act that way.

“He was saying men can't be raped, practically said Cas was asking for it because he was using. Said he must've consented for more drugs”

“Fuck him. What the fuck is wrong with him saying that to Cas? I'm coming down there and I'm talking to him”

“Good. Also, feel free to punch him in the face again, people with the whole men can't be raped mindset make me sick”

“I fucking know. I hate that but especially because of what happened to Sam too. He's getting punched, multiple times”

“Perfect, I'll be back at the hospital soon. If you gotta take off tell Cas I'll be back in a few minutes”

“I'll tell him, Benny showed up with some food and he's been chatting with Cas so he won't be alone”

Dean was surprised but he smiled because he wanted Benny and Cas to know each other.
“Oh, great, um, tell Benny he can have the day off tomorrow. I'll be there soon. Bye Gabe”

Gabe said bye too and then hung up the phone. He had to breathe and school his face before he went back into his brother's hospital room.
“Dean is on his way back. Benny, he said you can take off tomorrow”

Benny glanced over mid-sentence and nodded.
“Sweet, I’ll get going once Dean gets here,” he said and then continued his story of how he first met Dean. Benny had just finished talking about The Bunker when Dean walked through the door.
“Hey, I’ll leave you two alone. You can tell him the rest of the story about opening the bunker” he said and stood up from the chair, clapped Dean on the back, said bye to Cas, and walked out the door.

Castiel glanced over and gave the other man a soft smile. He frowned a second later when he saw the red lump forming on Dean's cheek.
“What happened to your cheek?” cas said and sat up straighter when Dean got closer. He reached out to lightly brush the area.

Dean felt his cheeks heat slightly from the attention Cas was giving him.
“Oh uh, I went to see your dad,” he said honestly.

Cas stilled for a second and glanced up to meet Dean's eye.
“Why did you go see him? Did he hit you?” He said and lightly tilted Dean's head to see the mark better.

“He needed to know he was in the wrong. He had no right saying the shit he said to you”

Castiel stared for a second and then gave him a little smile. He leaned forward and kissed Dean on the head like the man had done to him before.
“You didn’t need to do that,” Cas said softly as he gazed at him.

“Yes I did,” Dean said just as softly back and smiled at the kiss. He had no idea what to call Castiel because they were certainly more than friends.

Cas found himself staring at Dean for longer than what would be necessary. He eventually shifted to the hospital bed so Dean could join him. Cas lightly patted the spot and helped him up the best he could. He spent the next few hours asking about Dean's life and learning more about him. They shared a few kisses much to Castiel's delight as well. It was hard for Cas to share anything other than small snippets here and there about places he’d been. He didn’t want Dean to leave but knew he had other things to attend to. Castiel was soothed by the kiss he was given before he was alone again. He never liked being alone because it left him to his thoughts. Cas found himself unsurprisingly drifting off not too long later.

Meanwhile, Chuck had become very angry after visits from both Dean and Gabriel. He thought both of his sons were being irresponsible and he needed to talk some sense into them all. Most of all, he needed to talk some sense into his youngest son. Chuck did not care that he hadn’t seen Castiel in nearly eight years. It was almost too easy to figure out which hospital Cas was at and then convince the nurse at the counter to let him see his son. The sob story he told got him sympathy too easily. Chuck kept the sob story up as he was led to his youngest son's room without proper identification. He barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes as the nurse went on about how support was essential to healing after such a terrible attack and it was good he was coming to visit. When the nurse finally left Chuck let himself into the room and took a second to stare at his son. Even though he could admit that Castiel did not look healthy he was still convinced that there was no reason for his hospital stay other than the obvious stitches in his head. Chuck frowned and shut the door harder than necessary to wake Cas up.

Cas jumped as he woke with a start and winced at the way his head protested to the sound of the door. He frowned as he looked around for the source of the noise. Castiel froze when he saw Chuck and remembered the day he was kicked out all over again.

“Still here being dramatic I see,” Chuck said when Cas finally looked at him.

“I have a concussion you inconsiderate bag of dicks. Why are you here?” Cas said, his mood instantly changing to anger and slight fear.

“To see this nonsense first hand”

“It’s not nonsense. When you get jumped and attacked in an alley you go to a hospital”

“You offered to fuck someone then changed your mind, that’s not what I’d called ‘getting attacked’”

“I didn’t offer to fuck anyone. A man followed me and forced himself on me after I repeatedly rejected him. I guess he just…decided to take what he wanted..” Cas said, eyes going slightly unfocused when he spoke about the attack.

“Then you led him on”

“Even if I did, I never consented to anything. Wearing a fancy watch isn’t an excuse to be robbed”

“You must have because this doesn’t happen. Men don’t get raped so you need to drop this little act. I’ve had to go over this with your brother twice now”

“Oh, men can’t be raped huh? I’m stuck in this fucking hospital for no reason according to you”

“You are here but that doesn’t mean you were raped, you fucked a man and now you need an excuse”

Cas stared at his dad with slight pleading eyes.
“He dragged me down an alley, beat me, restrained me, and then forced himself on me. That's not just normal sex or even rough sex.” He then held up his arms so Chuck could see the bruised and slightly burned ligature marks marring his wrists.
“This doesn’t happen from simply fucking a man and these aren’t the only ones. I have bruises from his fingers and defensive wounds. There’s a bruise in the shape of his shoe on my stomach”

Chuck stared at the marks and listened to the rest of his son's words but still rolled his eyes.
“People get marks from sex all the time. I don’t need to explain how that happens to you. I’m fine with two men being together but you can’t go around spreading rape rumors because you regret your decision!”

Cas let out a breath and dragged a hand down his face.
“I didn’t sleep with anyone, I didn’t ask for any of this,” he said quietly and took a deep breath.
“Please leave”

“Not until you agree to end this nonsense. Gabriel told me you were pressing charges against your partner”

“He’s not my goddamn partner. Why the fuck would I make up a rape rumor? I already have a record and I don’t need false accusations added to it. Rape isn’t something you joke about or lie about”

“You weren’t raped! You’re a man! You let someone fuck you and decided you didn’t like it so you’re making up stories” Chuck snapped as he took a couple of steps forward.

Cas flinched at Chuck's tone and how suddenly he moved. He didn’t need the doubts now flooding his mind about everything. Had he led Crowley on? Did he ask for this to happen? Did he deserve it?

“This doesn’t happen to men! Men can’t be raped by men or women. It just doesn’t happen and it never will! You probably wanted drugs and who knows how many times you’ve traded sex for drugs. You will drop this little act Castiel. Drop the charges against your partner and stop this nonsense” Chuck said like Cas was a petulant child who had disobeyed. He scoffed when his son said nothing to him, turned on the spot, and left.

Cas let himself fall apart after Chuck left. He overthought everything that had happened before and after. Eventually, sleep took over and Cas drifted off but it was a restless night. He woke up feeling like he hadn’t slept at all. Today was supposed to be a good day because he was finally leaving the hospital. Cas couldn’t shake the numb feeling and ended up staring blankly at the wall. He figured it was better than feeling sad though. Castiel did get up when the doctor brought his discharge paperwork and filled it out. He changed into a pair of loose jeans and one of Dean's hoodies.

Gabriel knocked on the door thirty minutes later and walked once told he could.
“Hey Cassie, ready to go?” He asked with a big grin since he could finally begin a new relationship with his brother.

Cas had been sitting on the hospital bed and had the same blank expression. He swung his legs over the hospital bed and went to push himself off.

Gabe moved forward to help if needed but frowned as he observed the other man.
“What happened?”

Cas let out a humorless laugh as he thought about the night before.
“Dad came to visit”

Immediately Gabriel was livid.
“He fucking what? That son of a bitch. Are you okay?”

Cas let out another humorless laugh and pushed himself off the bed.
“I thought he’d be happy to see me. Maybe apologize for being an asshole and kicking me out and starting this shitshow but no. He comes here and tells me I need to drop the charges. It was like arguing with a brick wall. No matter what I said he didn’t believe me. Said I must’ve led him on or let someone fuck me but because I didn’t like it I’m crying rape. What the fuck does he know? He’s an assbutt and he’ll never change. I fucking dropped out of high school to help him get his act together and he kicks me out for trying one drug one time. I never should’ve tried helping him..fuck him. Fuck him and his attitude because men apparently can’t be raped” he ranted and paced and wiped at his eyes to stop the tears that threatened to spill.

Gabe watched him and let him rant. He hadn’t realized how much his brother wasn’t saying.
“He’s an asshole. I can’t believe he was let in past visiting hours”

“Oh, he probably got sympathy for having a formerly dead drug-addicted son who he hasn’t seen in seven years. He’s an idiot who thinks he’s not an idiot. Fucker said Crowley was my partner too”

“Like hell! Deans your partner. I’m sorry for this Cassie..do you wanna go see Dean?”

Cas flushed when Gabe called Dean his partner. He liked the sound of that but he didn’t know if he could call Dean that. Sure, they had kissed a couple of times and they seemed inseparable but they hadn’t had the what are we talk yet.
“Well…nothing's official yet,” Cas said and glanced over at Gabe.
“I don’t need Dad. I have you and Dean and Anna and that’s enough for me. How is Anna? Have you seen her?” He asked

Gabe smiled when Cas said he didn’t need their dad. He knew that the other man wished things had gone differently but he wasn’t about to upset him on what should be a good day.
“She’s still recovering. There’s been a lot of complications so far with her and our nephew. I’d suggest seeing her but it’s outside visiting hours. We should come back later but for now, out you go” Gabe said with a little grin.

Cas nodded and sighed then followed Gabe out the door after outright refusing to sit in the wheelchair. He had to sign a few more things and once again get some prescriptions but then he was free to go. Cas smiled when he was outside and breathed in the crisp November air. He had an odd feeling of gratitude mixed with guilt because he didn’t deserve this. Castiel did not deserve a brother or a random man who’d decided to help him. He was overwhelmingly grateful at the same time.

Gabe smiled as he watched his younger brother. He imagined that it was overwhelming for Cas because of how his life took a turn.
“Come on, my cars this way,” Gabe said and walked at the same pace as Cas. He soon led him to a red Mustang and opened the door.
“Here let me help you,” Gabe said and helped Cas lower himself into the passenger seat.

Cas thanked him and settled in easily. He thought of how he’d felt on the last hospital trip and frowned some. The dark-haired man was remarkably better than how he’d been when he’d initially been released from the first hospital. The ride to Gabe’s house was quiet which Castiel appreciated. After weeks of endless questions, it was nice to have some quiet. At one point he began to pick at the sleeve of the hoodie he was wearing. The habit was picked up by Cas as a way to manage his cravings. He knew eventually he’d need to start going to a support group to keep himself in check but for now, picking at his clothing was doing the trick.

Castiel was once again baffled at the size of Gabe’s home when they pulled up. He only had past friends' homes and his childhood home to compare it to but the difference was significant. Cas glanced over when Gabe began to speak of how he’d set up the guest room but hadn’t put anything away yet. He nodded along and got out of the car when his brother did. As soon as Cas walked inside Meg jumped up on him. He sank to his knees and hugged the excited dog. Castiel was very aware that if it hadn’t been for her his fate would have been catastrophic. He’d missed her terribly while stuck in the hospital and planned on making up for it. Cas soon was settled on the couch with Meg curled up next to him. He had a mug of Gabe’s homemade chai tea and felt genuinely happy. Cas spent the next few hours chatting with his older brother until he had to take another round of his medicine. The medicine made him tired so he ended up falling asleep on the couch.

Dean arrived a few hours later with a celebratory basket of goodies. He was nervous about seeing Castiel and mentally kicked himself. Dean didn’t need to be nervous. He liked Cas and it was obvious that Cas liked him back. It was quick but Dean was falling and couldn’t seem to stop. He couldn’t help but be a little wary because of Castiel's situation. Dean did not know much about the other man’s past or what he needed to do to get by. All he knew was that he wanted to be there for him as he picked up the pieces of his life. Dean gave a nod to Gabe and set the basket down before sitting near Cas’ feet. He chatted quietly with Gabe until he felt Castiel stir.

Cas instinctively moved away when he woke and felt someone else’s presence. As soon as he realized it was Dean he moved closer. Gabe excused himself shortly after to prepare some food. Cas found conversation came easily when talking to Dean. It was like he’d known the older man for much longer than he had. The whole night was spent talking with Dean and Gabe and eating good food. It was almost too much for Castiel. He felt like an imposter but also had to recognize the drastic switch his life had taken. For the time in years, Castiel fell asleep in a real bed with clothes that fit him and everything he could need.

Chapter Text

Gabe checked the time with a big smile on his face. It had been entirely too long since he’d seen his fiancé. Sam had returned back to California after the winter break and had not had another chance to visit since. Now, he finally had a week off and was flying out. Gabe was ecstatic about seeing him and introducing him to Castiel. He was also happy because he could show his younger brother that things could get better. Although the situations were different, Sam had more in common with Cas then both Gabe and Dean.

The last three days had some ups and downs. The biggest issue was Castiel insisting he was fine even when he clearly was not. Gabe could see the many ways his brother tried to distract himself from cravings. He tried to help but the other man was resistant to it. The next problem was that Cas wouldn’t talk about anything that bothered him. He often would flinch when Gabe moved too fast, suffered from nightmares, and seemed uneasy. The only person who could get him to open up, much to the annoyance of Gabe, was Dean. Realistically, Gabe knew that the two men had bonded and they’d shared a trauma together. He still wanted his brother to share with him and know that he could come to him.

Castiel glanced up from the sea of art supplies he’d created on the table when the door opened. He’d quickly figured out that releasing his sometimes explosive emotions and challenging cravings through art helped. The drawings were not good per say but they helped and that’s what mattered.
“Hey, need any help?” Cas asked when he saw the bags in Gabe’s arms. He was a little nervous and wary of Sam visiting but there was a streak of curiosity that shined brighter than his nerves.

“No I got it” Gabe said and began putting the groceries away. He’d bought extra food for his moose of a fiancé but also knew they’d need extra to sustain them. Gabriel quirked a smile at that thought but frowned a second later. The last thing he wanted to do was retraumatize his brother. That meant they’d need to be quiet and subtle. Or he could ask Dean to let cas stay with him. After all, Cas wasn’t exactly sticking to his orders for bedrest and he constantly wanted to visit with Dean.

“So, I know you know that Sam is visiting for the next week and a half and I want you to feel comfortable so-“ Gabe began but Cas cut him off.

“You want me to stay with Dean because you’ll be having lots of sex with your fiancé? Yeah that's fine but I’m not gonna break because I hear sex sounds” Cas deadpanned and looked at Gabe with an unamused expression.

“I just want you to be okay”

Cas’ stoic expression fell slightly at the words.
“I know”

“I’ll call Dean and let him know. Knowing him, he’d love having you around more” Gabe said and winked at him.

Castiel rolled his eyes but couldn’t deny that. He felt the same way when it came to Dean. Cas was crushing hard on the man so getting to spend more time with him was exciting. The more Cas thought about the reason why he was going to stay with Dean, the more off put he was by it. It wasn’t staying with Dean that he minded, it was that Gabe was treating him with kid gloves. The longer he was quiet, the more irritated his disposition became. Eventually he went upstairs to his room and didn’t come down for the rest of the night. Cas texted Dean instead and called him to talk. Simply hearing the other man speak and be at the center of his attention made Castiel happy and excited. He refused to come down for dinner and wouldn’t leave other than to grab his medication towards the end of the night.

Gabe arrived at the airport early the next day and waited excitedly to see Sam walk through the doors. He had missed the other man terribly but was also excited to tell him about Cas. Gabe really thought that if the two men spoke they’d get along and bond over similar experiences. He smiled when he saw the familiar long brown hair and caring smile he’d come to love about Sam so much. Gabe surged forward and met the other man with a hug. He laughed when the larger man picked him up and spun him around. Gabe pulled him down for several long kisses before letting him go.
“Hey moose, I’ve missed you” he said and hugged him again.

“I’ve missed you too gabe” Sam said and squeezed him then pulled back.
“Let's grab my luggage and then we can go somewhere private” he said and winked then took Gabe’s hand.
“I do have a meeting later but after that we’re gonna be in bed for a long time”

Gabe shivered and felt his dick twitch but tried to will it down so he wouldn’t be walking around the airport with a boner.
“I may or may not be wearing a plug” he whispered to him and smirked at the hungry look he was given in return.

The time it took to get to baggage claim, locate Sam’s bag, find the car, load the car, and start to drive away from the airport felt entirely too long to Gabe. Gabe jumped slightly when Sam reached over and squeezed his thigh. He groaned and stepped on the gas. Once they’d reached a generally secluded area Gabe parked and leaned over to kiss Sam roughly. Sam kissed back then pulled away with a little grin.
”Go bend over the hood” he said and opened the door of the car. Sam began to strip as he waited for Gabe to do as told.

Gabe groaned at the words but did as told. He stripped down and then bent over the hood of his car. It took a lot for the smaller man not to glance backwards or beg. Gabe gasped when he felt Sam come up behind him.

Sam smirked and pushed his hands up the other man’s naked back. Normally he’d tease but he was too riled up and knew Gabe was too. The bigger man lightly pushed Gabe’s legs further apart and began to play with the plug. He liked the way his fiancé squirmed and moaned softly at the sight.

Gabe groaned as he felt the plug move.
“Sam….please…fuck me..” he begged

Sam groaned again when Gabe begged and finally pulled the plug out. He pushed three fingers inside him and was pleased when he discovered the other man was slick enough. Sam still spit into his hand and stroked himself and then pressed inside. He moaned and got halfway inside before slamming the rest of the way. Sam knew what Gabe liked so he wasted no time setting up a brutal pace.

Gabe moaned loudly when Sam finally entered him and cried out when the brutal pace began. He resisted the urge to claw at the hood of his car. Gabe searched for something to hold onto and groaned when Sam reached out and gripped his hands. He spread his legs a bit farther and groaned when it caused Sam to sink in further.

Sam moaned too when Gabe shifted. He kissed and nipped at his lover's neck, the gentleness of it a sharp contrast to the roughness of his hips. Sam knew he wasn’t going to last long and lightly pulled Gabe more upright. He kept steadily thrusting his hips and stroking the other man’s dick.

Gabe squirmed and moaned loudly when a hand wrapped around his weeping dick. There wasn’t much he could do in this position other than holding on and taking it. It didn’t take long before he cried out and came over the trunk of the car. Gabe sagged but was held up by Sam’s strong grip.

Sam only lasted a dozen or so thrusts later before he came inside the twitching man. He thrusted a few times to work himself through it and to hear Gabe gasp from overstimulation. Sam leaned down to press a couple kisses to his fiance's back. He lightly stroked his hands along his arms and back and smiled when Gabe’s breathing started to even out. Sam gently pulled out with a groan and grabbed the towel he’d thrown on the trunk.

He wordlessly cleaned both of them up and pulled Gabe off the trunk to kiss him softly. Sam continued cleaning him and pressed him back onto the trunk to kiss Gabe's neck as he gently pressed the plug back inside the other man. His eyes widened when he heard the whop of a siren. The taller man quickly straightened up and stepped in front of Gabe. He yanked his pants up and watched as an officer approached.

“We uh, we got a call about a sexual assault…but I can see that isn’t the case. These sorts of activities shouldn’t be performed in public” the officer said, glancing away from the two men.

Sam felt the words hit him a bit harder than anticipated.
“No, he’s my fiancé and we just reunited. You know how young love is” he said and tried to appear less awkward.

Gabe quickly dressed and moved to grab Sam’s hand.
“Yeah, sorry, we couldn’t wait,” he said and leaned into him.

The officer nodded and then sighed.
“I see, well I’ll let you off with a warning this time” he said and made his way back to the squad car.

Sam watched him drive off and sighed before pulling his shirt back on. He glanced over at Gabe and then started to chuckle softly.
“Well damn, that’s one way to start a trip” Sam said and then leaned down to kiss him.
“I can’t believe someone thought I was assaulting you” he said, the thought ridiculous in his mind.

Gabe kissed back and then frowned.
“You alright though?” He asked

Sam frowned for a second before it dawned on him what Gabe meant. He swallowed a little at the implication given what he’d been through.
“Yeah, I promise” Sam said and gave his hand a squeeze. The memory of when he’d been raped didn’t hold as much weight as it once had. It had taken years, but he’d got there. Sam gently stroked Gabe’s face and then kissed him softly.
“I love you, I’ve missed you”

Gabe smiled and kissed back.
“I love you too” he said and then pulled back so he could stretch a bit.
“Come on, I’ll drive you to your meeting and pick you back up” Gabe said and gently sat in the driver's seat. He chatted with his fiancé and managed to bring Castiel up. Gabe didn’t get the chance to really explain why he wanted them to meet before arriving at the treatment center. He gave Sam another kiss and then briefly went home to clean himself up.

Castiel was tired of being told to take it easy or rest or to lay down, he was going out and that was that. He’d found one of the flyers Gabe purposefully left around the house as a pathetic attempt to tell him to go treatment and decided to attend. As soon as Castiel stepped outside though it occurred to him that he hadn’t been alone or alone outside since the assault. The thought had him going back inside and dressing in baggier clothing. It helped that Cas was constantly cold, a result of his body working to properly replenish blood and from how underweight he still was. Gaining weight had proven to be considerably harder than what he’d thought. Castiel bought a bus pass and took the bus to the treatment center where the meeting was being held. He walked into the building but paused outside of the door where the meeting was taking place. Cas stared at it for quite some time before he found the courage to walk in. He glanced around at everyone attending and slowly made his way to the table holding coffee, fruit, and some pastries. Cas managed to relax as he poured himself some coffee and added cream. It was just as he put the lid on that someone spoke and put a hand on his arm.

“Hey, I haven’t seen you before” the man spoke

Cas nearly jumped out of his skin when he was touched and pushed the hand away. He glanced over to see who’d touched him and let out a breath.

The man with longer brown hair and hazel eyes took a step back.
“Hey, it’s okay, I’m sorry, I should’ve asked before I touched you. Is it your first time?”

Cas swallowed and gripped his coffee a bit harder, not seeming to notice how hot the liquid that spilled out onto his hand was.
“Yeah, it’s my first time, uh..sorry..for pushing you” he said, letting out a breath and willing the shame away.

“No I’m sorry, I should know better” the man said and began to fill up his own coffee.
“I’m Sam by the way, I go to this meeting whenever I’m in town visiting my fiancé”

“I’ve never been to any kind of meeting. It’s only been about three weeks but my brother and a guy I’m interested in really want me to attend something so I’m here” cas said and sipped on his coffee.

Sam chuckled softly and sighed.
“I remember those days. I was in the same situation, my brother and a guy I’m interested in really wanted me to attend a meeting. I’m glad I did and I hope you’ll feel the same” he said and glanced over to the therapist who ran the meeting who announced they were going to start.

Both men made their way to the chairs and sat, cas one seat away from Sam and away from anyone else. He sipped on his coffee and glanced up when asked if people who were new would speak. Cas hesitantly raised his hand and swallowed.
“Um, my name's Cas..I uh I recently got off the streets and I’m 2 weeks clean. This is my first meeting and my first time out alone after this…saint of a man helped me out” he said and sighed softly.
“I’m only three weeks clean because I had to stay a week in the hospital. I’m nervous about trying to stay clean on my own” Cas added then quieted down and let out a breath. He smiled slightly when a couple people clapped and told him to just keep going. Cas focused on his food and ate slowly while trying to listen. He glanced over when Sam spoke about his experience trying to get clean and how he’d had what felt like too much support.

Sam kept glancing over at Cas and finally moved to sit next to him. He quieted his voice and glanced over at him.
“Cas doesn’t happen to be short for Castiel does it?”

Cas tensed when Sam said his full name.
“Yeah” he said simply and had a feeling he knew where this was going. This had to be someone from his past.

Sam smiled and had to stifle a laugh.
“You’re Gabe’s brother right? I’m Sam, Gabe’s fiancé and Deans my brother”

Cas immediately relaxed when it didn’t end up being an issue.
“Oh, hi, it’s nice to meet you” he said and gave him a little smile.

“You should come out with me, Gabe, and Dean after this. We’re grabbing lunch” Sam whispered and then moved to sit a seat over like he’d been since he had a good idea Cas wanted it that way. Cas had every sign of being a newly recovering addict and who was struggling with some kind of trauma. Sam had a good idea what the trauma was but was not about to ask.

Both men stayed in the meeting for the entire length and lingered for a bit. Cas excused himself to the bathroom while Sam went out to the parking lot. He smiled when he saw Gabe and pulled him in for a kiss.
“You know your brothers here?”

Gabe kissed back and nodded.
“I didn’t until I got home and saw his note. I was hoping you guys could talk to each other. There’s some…similarities to what happened to him and you”

Sam stared at him before it sunk in what he meant. His face smoothed out in surprise because he knew Gabe wasn’t telling him this lightly. Sam nodded and swallowed a bit.
“I’ll talk to him soon” he said and reached out to thread their fingers together. Sam pulled him closer and kissed him again.

Cas smiled as he walked outside and saw Gabe with Sam. He was happy that Gabe found someone but felt guilty that he already knew about Sam’s experiences without hearing it from the man himself. Cas knew how important it was to share his experience in his own words but he also knew it was recent for him and had been years for Sam.

Gabe smiled when he saw Cas and moved over to give him a hug.
“Thank you for coming to a meeting” he said as he pulled back the hug.
“Me, Sam, and Dean were going to have lunch. Please come too?”

Cas smiled and nodded.
“I want to come” he said and flinched hard when someone bumped into him coming out of the center. Cas sent a grateful look at Sam's way when he stepped over to the other side of him so no one would get close.

“Let's head over” Sam said and let Cas go first before following closely. He knew all too well what it was like to be touched or bumped into suddenly after a trauma like that.

Gabe followed with a soft smile because his brother and fiancé were getting along. He took his position in the driver's seat and only drove once everyone was settled. Gabe sent Sam a smile when he put an arm around him. The drive to The Bunker was quiet and relatively quick. He couldn’t stop himself from glancing at both Sam and Cas to make sure they were okay.

All three of the men walked into The Bunker a short while later and waited up front. Dean noticed a couple minutes later and came running out of the kitchen. What surprised Gabe and Sam was when he ran to Cas first. Dean had a big grin on his face as he got closer to the group. He pulled Cas in for a hug and rubbed his back slowly.
“Hey, how’ve you been?” Dean asked softly

“I’m good, I went to a meeting. It was kinda helpful actually” Cas said and smiled as he pulled back to look at Dean. He flushed slightly under one of Dean's charming smiles.

“That’s amazing, I’m proud of you angel” Dean said, the pet name slipping out before he could stop it. He flushed slightly at his slip up then leaned in, kissing cas on the forehead.

Cas smiled at the name and closed his eyes at the kiss.
“Angel huh?” He teased and gave him another hug.

Sam observed both of them and hummed softly under his breath almost unconsciously. Gabe noticed almost immediately how Sam’s expression looked and moved closer.
“Dean found Cas after he was attacked. They’ve been bonded since and are in a sort of relationship” he whispered over and took Sam’s hand. The thought of ever finding someone he loved like that hurt his heart.

Dean rubbed Cas’ back a bit before his attention turned to Sam.
“Hey bitch” he said with a grin.

Sam rolled his eyes.
“Hey jerk” he said and then gave his older brother a hug. The two men quickly began catching up as they walked to a table with one side against the wall. Sam and Cas both ended up with the side against the wall with Gabe and Dean next to them. For the most part Cas stayed quiet as Dean and Sam catched up. He preferred to observe people anyway, especially new people. Cas smiled when he felt Dean's hand move to rest on his knee. It was comforting and made him feel wanted. When it came time to order Cas stuck with soup to keep things light. He’d learned the hard way what eating too much too soon felt like. Cas leaned up against Dean and smiled when it sunk in that the three people at the table were his family now.