Archive of Our Own ^beta

Hello folks! The Beyonder here. Coming to you from the- wait a sec...

Good, that's better.

As I was saying, Beyonder here, from the hit 2023 television series Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur, and I have come to tell you a tale. It is a tale of bravery, brutality, and probably a tiny bit of wacky hijinks sprinkled in there for good measure.

But why, Beyonder? Why would you do this? Why would you tell us such an awesome tale of persistence in the face of all that is unholy on this plane of existence?!

*DEEP BREATH*

Well you see, dear reader, that is because SOMEONE, and I won't name who (Spectrum) was supposed to tell you all about our young buddy Zero here, but ended up getting lost on their way back from the GAY ZONE, of all places!

(Yes, it is real. You thought Diver_Drive_Down was just taking the piss out of a joke, but it really is a real place)

With all of that out of the way, and by the way, good job me! Good job to you too! Let's get this show started!

Zero was an octoling created by the not-so notorious C.Q. Cumber after he bought a meteor with supposed gravity powers from the salmonids. At first he tried to infuse the powers into his living soldiers, but that just ended up killing them! What was a poor, evil tyrant like him to do?

Grave desecration, of course!

He desecrated plenty of graves, pulling out body after body and trying to resurrect them with the power of his meteor. If his genius plan worked, he would not only have an army of gravity-wielders, but an immortal army of them at that!

But, as you know in these kinds of stories, everything had to go wrong for our small, unlikeable antagonist.

He was able to find the perfect body, the dead sister of his most important lieutenant, Lucy. Now, Lucy was halfway to the loony bin, and would do anything if C.Q. told her to, especially if it meant she could kill people (No good).

Her sister, however, didn't have nearly that much devotion. Sure, she killed that one sanitized octoling, but C.Q. was the one who rigged the Octo-Shot to auto-shoot the man's face off!

It didn't take her long to catch onto C.Q.'s scheme, so she hatched a plan to escape. And by that I mean he basically revealed that he was evil to her right before she was rescued by her best friend Kay and the illustrious Deep Cut.

Zero thought that she also left Cee (Her other friend, almost didn't notice that I never said that) behind, but she had accidentally activated her TIME POWERS and sent him into the future, but not really.

Okay I'm gonna have to explain that, aren't I? Oh boy I love this part!

So basically Zero has gravity powers, right? And gravity is the manipulation of space. Well, if space-time are connected, then that means she can also manipulate time (Just like me!). That is the logical explanation, but it was honestly just some stupid JoJo's reference made by Diver because he can't act like a normal-

(What is that? Oh, I'm not allowed to trash talk the man literally writing what I say down as I speak it out? Well... that's fair).

So, she sends Cee into the future, which puts him into the Splatlands. Now, he should have been there at age 100-something, with a family living in a house there. Sadly, she sent him, and ONLY HIM, forward in time, making him a 100-something with no family, no home, and no bitches.

Okay, that was rude, but you get the point.

Zero likes the surface, and her friend Kay runs into and helps out the gay femboy self-insert Diver wrote for himself? Wait, am I reading this right? I am? Who the shell-

WHY IS HE IN LOVE WITH GNARLY EDDY WHA-

[WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK]

Okay, sorry about that. That got a little out of hand. Just like how it would be cool if Scuba KEPT HIS HANDS OFF OF GNARLY EDDY'S-

[WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK]

Okay, sorry about-

[WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK]

What?! I didn't even do it that time!

Anyhoo...

As I was explaining in rigorous and honestly sexy detail, Zero liked the surface world, but soon found that C.Q. could follow her even up to there! The evil cucumber then kidnaps Frye, finds Cee stranded, and almost kills Zero when she finds him!

He doesn't though, for some reason (Maybe character development, idk), and Zero gets away with killing over thirty salmonids using only sand. Oh, and not before Cee dies, of course.

So that is where she is now, wandering the surface and beating herself up for killing Cee. Don't be like that, squiddo! I know that you aren't at fault! I mean, how could you have killed him if you weren't even controlling your powers?

But what does the future hold for our young-minded hero? Well...

WASSUP FUCKERS!!

Spectrum!? I thought- oh nevermind.

BRING THAT BEYONDUSSY HERE, BOI!!

Huh, wha-

===[To Be Continued]===>

Yo guys, Diver here. Why the actual fuck did I make this lmao (It's because The Beyonder is my new hyper-fixation, that's why).