Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

     Steve was really struggling. Eddie and his uncle decided to go on a vacation out of town for a few weeks, and stupidly Steve decided to stay. How could he not? He had work and the kids. Dustin was pissed enough that there would not be any D&D for at least a month, he did not want to see what would happen if he left too (just for the little shit to go off to summer camp). Problem was, however, Steve was a massive overthinker. He was so fucking stressed out, it was not even funny. He knew that part of that was due to being separated from his Alpha for so long. Although Robin had offered, Steve had not been Gentled since Eddie left. After going so long without it, he figured he would be ok. However, like in many moments in Steve Harrington’s life, he was dead wrong. He was not eating or sleeping properly. He was stupid and had picked up extra shifts (in his defense, he was trying to distract himself), so he was also overworked. He looked like a fucking mess to say the least. The circles below his eyes were so dark, they looked like black eyes. His hair was an even worse train wreck. He had not had the resolve to put his normal products in, so it was flat and floppy.

    The only reason he had made it this far without being yelled at was that Robin was on vacation with Vickie. But that only raised a bigger issue. He desperately needed to be Gentled. It was getting to the point where his voice was shaking when he talked to Eddie on the phone. So far, he had kept up a pretty good cover, but he did not know if he could keep it up much longer. He did not want Eddie to cut his trip short, so he absolutely had to sound like he was (as Eddie liked to say when he was trying to cheer Will and/or El up) “peachy keen jelly bean” (whatever that meant). He weighed his options. On one hand, he could wait it out. Eddie would be gone for one more week, and then Steve could be back in his arms. While a week did not seem like a long time, Steve knew that at the slightest sign of distress Eddie would drop everything and come home. He did not want Eddie to rush home just cause he was too fucking weak to control the pain in his voice. The other option was Nancy Wheeler. Jonathan was out of town with the rest of the Byers-Hopper crew (plus Mike who, since he was dating Will, basically counted as one of them), so Nancy may have been free and willing to help. However, he knew she was prepping for an internship at a huge newspaper, and that getting all her stuff organized was proving to be very stressful (at least that is what he heard from Will, who heard it from Mike). Still, he needed help and she always said that she was there for him. Against his better judgment, he decided to go to Nancy’s for a bit of help. As he got to the door, he knocked. Mrs. Wheeler came to the door, holding Holly. “Oh, Steve, how wonderful. Are you here to see Nancy?” Steve nodded, then Mrs. Wheeler continued “Since Jonathan left, she has been working pretty much nonstop. If you could get her to take a break, I would be very grateful.” 

     Steve thanked her for letting him in, promised to try and get Nancy to take a break, then walked upstairs to her room. He knocked on the door, just for Nancy to come out. “Steve, what are you doing here?” She looked confused, angry, and very stressed out. Her hair was standing straight up, and she had pretty bad dark circles under her eyes too.

     Steve debated just walking out the front door, but instead mustered up the nerve to say his part. “I need your help.” There, Steve thought, I’ve gotten the hardest part done with. His smile dropped when he saw Nancy’s face pinched in anger. “Steve, you could not have picked a worse time to bother me. Why did you think I would be able to help? You should just try to solve it yourself instead of being a burden to the rest of us. It is bad enough you are so stupid, now you are going to add ‘constantly needing help’ on top of that?” Steve went to interject, just for Nancy to hold up her hand and scoff. “I understand Eddie is out of town, but that is not a reason for you to bother me. I mean Jonathan is out of town, yet you do not see me bothering all my friends. At this rate, Eddie is going to think you are way too clingy and leave your ass.” 

     Steve was shocked. He felt tears spring to his face, and realized how bad an idea this was. Throughout their entire relationship, Nancy always told him that he was too clingy, too much, too desperate. Those small comments messed him up for a long time but being with Eddie helped immensely. He nearly forgot all those insecurities, you could say they were pushed to the back of his mind. However, after what Nancy said, they were all rushing back to him. Suddenly he felt the need to cover up his scars, an impulse he had not felt since he started dating Eddie. He backed out of the doorway, and sped walked down the hallway. He could hear Nancy calling his name, but ignored it. He did not want her sympathy, nor her patronizing gaze. He quickly walked out of the house, ignoring Mrs. Wheeler and Holly calling out to him too. He quickly got into his car, and drove to his house. The entire drive, he thought. Eddie always told him how much he loved him, how good he was, how glad he was that Steve was in his life. But what if he’s just saying that cause I saved his life and he feels like he owes me? Steve wanted to cry, but needed to get home first. As he drove, he thought back to his last conversation with Eddie.

Flashback:

     “Baby, I wish you were here with us.” Eddie had said. “I really miss you, and I think Wayne does too. I don’t think he likes my commentary on football games.” Steve laughed, knowing that Eddie had no clue what was going on during those games. His laugh came out tinny and strange. 

     “Baby boy, is something wrong?” Steve knew he could not under any circumstances tell Eddie that something was wrong. That if he let it slip that he needed help, Eddie would drive back immediately. Steve did not want Eddie to do that. He needed to be self-sufficient. 

     “Yeah, I had to train this kid today, but otherwise I am doing great.” Steve quickly muted the phone, then choked down his sob. He always reacted that way when he lied to Eddie. He did not know why, nor was he about to ask Eddie if he felt the same. Eddie just chuckled, then launched into a story about Wayne and him being attacked by birds. Steve listened along, but did not add to the conversation. 

End of flashback: 

    During every phone conversation he had with Eddie, Eddie told him how much he missed him. How he could not wait till Steve was back in his arms. But what if he was just saying that to appease me? What if he really hates me and is afraid to say something? What then? Steve could feel himself going into an Omega Drop, he had not gone through one since he started dating Eddie. 

     He quickly walked inside, and walked up to his nest room. He hates you, you’re too clingy. He deserves someone who is better than you. Someone who is not broken. Steve whimpered at his own thoughts. He began raking his nails up his arms, feeling something wet dripping down his hands. When that pain was not enough, he started pulling at his hair. He alternated between the two, not caring how much pain they left him in. To be honest, laying in the nest just made him feel worse. He could smell his Alpha, but he knew he was not around. He curled up, sobbing for hours. It is not like I have any plans for the day , he thought. He was crying so hard he didn’t hear the phone ringing, the front door open, footsteps leading up the stairs, or the door to the nest room opening. The next thing he heard was a voice saying “oh Stevie”

POV Eddie: 

     Eddie was tired. He and Uncle Wayne had to cut the trip short because he was having back pain, he had not seen Steve in a month, and he desperately wanted to hold Steve. He had called him when they started driving back, but there was no answer. Eddie figured he was out driving one of the kids around or taking a nap. Now he was driving over to Steve’s house. He had just gotten Wayne settled into the bed and got him some painkillers, when he was told (and mind you this is a direct quote) “if you don’t go over and see our boy right now, I will actually make you sleep outside for the next month.” Eddie, not one to doubt Wayne, rushed straight out to his car. As he drove he thought about how weird it was that Steve did not answer. Actually, how strange Steve had been over the past few days. Whenever Eddie was on the phone, Steve sounded strange. But when Eddie asked if he was ok, he always just said yes. Eddie figured he was just stressed out by work. 

     When Eddie walked into the house, he was hit by the smell of pure, distressed Omega. He quickly ran upstairs, following the scent. He burst into the nest room, terrified that something happened to Steve. Luckily, or unluckily depending on how you look at it, Steve was safe and sound in the nest. Eddie almost breathed out a sigh of relief until he saw his arms and hands. His hands were covered in blood and hair, and all you had to do was look at his arms to understand why. There were gashes going up his arms, and his throat. Eddie wanted to puke. “Oh, Stevie” Steve’s head bolted up, and Eddie felt even worse. Steve had huge bags under his eyes, and his hair was floppy. The worst part, however, was his eyes. His eyes were glazed over, but not in the good way like when Eddie takes him apart. In a very bad way that meant he was dropping. 

     “I am sorry, Eddie. I didn't mean to ruin your vacation. I am such a shitty person. Oh my fucking god could I just not be a screwup?!?” By the end of that sentence, Steve was back to clawing at his arms. Eddie could not take it any longer, he lunged forward into the nest and wrapped his arms around Steve. 

     “Shush, you are ok. I love you, and you are safe. I don’t know who told you that you are a screwup, but they were wrong. You are ok. I am not sure what is going on, but we will fix it together.” Eddie put his hand on the back of Steve’s neck, and Steve went completely limp. Oh Eddie though, that’s what this is about. “I take that back. I know exactly what is going on. Baby, do you need to be Gentled?” For some reason, Steve frantically shook his head.

     “No, no I can be good, Eddie. I don’t need it. I am ok. I am ok. I can be good and not need it.” Eddie’s heart fucking shattered.

     “Baby, it is ok to need it. It is not a hardship for me to take care of you. I love you. So I am going to ask you again and I want you to answer truthfully, no apologies or justifications. Do you need to be Gentled?” Steve nodded, opening his mouth to keep apologizing. “Ah, ah, ah. I said no apologies. It is ok to need this.” What Steve did not really understand was putting an omega down was just as calming for an alpha as it was for an omega. That level of trust, to be able to hold someone and not worry about fucking up, that was amazing to Eddie.

     Eddie began rubbing the pressure points on Steve’s neck. It was a beautiful sight to watch the omega crumble in his arms. Steve’s initial uptight, too tense posture suddenly shifted. It started with the widening of pupils and slightly parted lips. Then came the silent tears and the sound of a quiet breath in a tight throat. The pain from the past few weeks broke free in continuous, painful, heavy sobs that made Eddie want to hold and gentle him forever. The omega flopped completely on Eddie, forcing him to support all his weight. It was a level of trust that he greatly appreciated. Eddie wanted to live in that moment forever. 

    There would be time for talking later. Later, he would ask Steve what wound him up so much. Why he felt like he couldn’t talk to Eddie. Later, he would make Steve something to eat, as he felt incredibly skinny. Later, he would shower Steve, and spend his time worshiping every little detail. For now, Eddie just wanted to hold his boy.

Chapter Text

     When Eddie woke up, Steve was still sound asleep. Eddie’s heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. His beautiful brunette hair was spread in a halo, his moles looked downright delectable, and the best part was that his scent had evened out. He no longer smelled like rotting lemons, a telltale sign that Steve was sad. Eddie wished he could live in this moment for life. Unfortunately, when did Eddie ever get what he wanted? Steve rolled over, and opened his eyes. Eddie could see emotions flick over Steve’s face, starting with sleepiness, happiness, confusion, panic, anxiety, before finally landing on depression. Steve quickly sat up, trying to run out of the nest. Eddie, having spent his entire life running, realized this and quickly pulled Steve back to him. “Hey, hey Baby I’m here. You can calm down, it’s ok” Eddie wanted to cry. Before he left, Steve never would have tried to run from him. What the fuck happened while I was gone? Eddie thought. 

     “I’m sorry, Eds, I’m so fucking sorry that you had to cut your vacation short just to deal with my stupid ass. I’m sorry I’m such a screw up. I am so fucking sorry that you guys have to haul my sorry ass around because you don’t know how to get rid of me and I don’t know how to take a hint.” Eddie’s heart fucking shattered. How could Steve feel that way? 

     “Baby, why on earth would you think that? I love having you around. We all love having you around. Me, Robin, the kids, Jonathan, Nancy, every last one of us.” The second he said it, he knew something was wrong. Steve was relaxed, and then he tensed so abruptly Eddie was shocked he didn’t tear something. “Baby? What’s wrong?”

     “Oh it’s nothing, just… thought of something.” Unfortunately for Steve, Eddie could always tell when he was lying. Steve had few tells, but they were all very obvious once you knew him, and right then all of them screamed that he was lying. “Stevie, please tell me the truth, I’m not gonna be mad I just want to make sure you are ok.”

     At that, Steve broke. He began explaining how earlier the day before he went to Nancy’s to ask for her help, just to be told he was being a burden and needed to stop being so clingy. Eddie was already ready to go and fight her but when Steve said that she told him that Eddie would dump him if he was too clingy, Eddie lost his shit. He could smell his scent changing, becoming more aggressive. He could feel Steve tense back up, so he tried to rein it in. It was really fucking hard though. 

     “But she didn’t mean any damage! She’s just trying to help me. I’m sorry you’re stuck with me.” Eddie could have ripped that bitches head clean off. As a matter of fact, he could’ve murdered everyone who had ever told Steve he was too much. His parents, Carol, Tommy H, Billy, Nancy. The whole fucking lot.

     “Oh honey, none of that is true. I live for when you are clingy. You’re always so independent, you never let anyone worry about you. So seeing you let down your guard, let down those walls makes me feel like I’m doing something right. Seeing that you need me and knowing I’m the one you chose to let take care of you makes my Alpha sing. I love you, and I love caring about you. You’re so good, just let me take care of you.” Eddie knew the best way to get Steve to let Eddie give him what he needed was to phrase it like he was doing Eddie a favor. Which he was. Eddie wasn’t lying about how much he loved to take care of his Stevie. Steve, for his part, nodded. “Ok, if you’re sure Eds.”

     “Now baby, I’m gonna need you to answer all these next few questions as honestly as you can. I will not be mad at you no matter how you answer. Can you do that?” Truthfully, Eddie knew he would be pissed at some of the answers. But not with Steve. No, he’ll be pissed at himself for not checking on Steve enough, at Robin for going out of town at the same time as him, at Nancy for taking her stress out on Steve. “Ok, first question: when was the last time you ate? And I mean a full meal, not just a snack.” 

     Eddie could tell it had been awhile. Steve felt like he had lost quite a bit of weight. When they first started dating, Steve was hunger-lean. It wasn’t that he was trying to be thin, it was that he got so preoccupied he forgot to eat. Through careful, hard, persistent work (and constant check-ins throughout the day) he and Robin had managed to get Steve on a solid eating schedule. To think of all that work down the drain cause his entire support system had gone on a vacation was almost unbelievably painful. “I don’t know” Steve whimpered out, “I think 4 days.” 

     Eddie wanted to go back in time and slap himself silly. How could he not see that Steve was this bad? “Ok hun, the first thing we will do is get some food into you.” As he stood up, he could see Steve swaying. He knew that the boy was incredibly lightheaded when he didn’t eat, so he swept him off his feet and into his arms. “Eddie!” Steve whimpered. “Put me down, I can walk.” Eddie wanted to roll his eyes, but just kept going.

     “I know you CAN walk, but I don’t want you to, Princess. I got you.” Truthfully, he didn’t. There were a lot of stairs, and Steve was very lightheaded. But Steve didn’t need to know that. Once they got to the kitchen, Eddie made grilled cheese. They cuddled on the couch as they ate. Eddie wanted to say something, but saw that Steve was dozing off. He pulled Steve into his lap. Tomorrow he’d be paying Nancy Wheeler a visit, but for now he’d just cuddle with Steve.