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Chapter Text

Chapter 1

“Kagome, wait!”

The young woman ignored the three voices behind her as she slammed the door of the hut closed. They had just gotten back from a long journey into the Northern territories. She had not sensed a shard in over a year, so their hunt for the remaining shards had grown stagnant.  However, even her companions could not deny that they were wasting weeks, even months, at a time circling the countryside on the off-chance that she might pick up the energy signature of a shard of the Shikon no Tama. Still, they insisted on going, despite Kagome’s protests. Even in the five months that they had been gone, she still didn’t detect a single shard. They had returned the day before, gathering in the small hut that Miroku and Sango shared.

Since they were back, Kagome wanted to go back home, through the Bone-Eater’s Well. She felt like was being opposed on all sides. She wanted a couple of new kimonos and she was running out of personal hygiene items. On top of all of that, she longed for a couple of days’ worth of her mother’s divine cooking to drive out the taste of duty, responsibility, and obligation that she had been eating relentlessly.

Inuyasha berated her for wanting to go back to her home. Sure, he loved the cheap packs of instant ramen from the future, but the Jewel was almost complete. The taste of having his wish fulfilled was much more tantalizing than his favorite food. Kagome defiantly strode to the well with Inuyasha hot on her heels, grousing at her back the whole way.

When she arrived at the well, her worst fears were confirmed.

The well was sealed.

The magic had died.

Kagome dragged herself back to the village in dejection, confusion, and hurt. She had gone through the well just fine in the days before their most recent trip. She could only surmise that the unsettled feeling that she had soon into their trip was the indicator that her ties to the modern era had been severed.

Inuyasha crowed in triumph, his chest puffing out proudly at the fact that he got his way.

However, what set her off was the way that he demanded that she stop being selfish and keep looking for shards. What started out as taking on the responsibility to recover the shattered shards of the Shikon no Tama evolved into her being nothing more than the Inutachi’s glorified Shard Detector just so he could make a selfish wish to become a full blooded youkai.

Talk about the pot calling the kettle black , she thought with a huff.

There was only one individual that could quell the fury that was burning within her, but he didn’t know she was back from their journey yet.

The old and battered backpack was slung over one shoulder and her shakuhachi was gripped in her hand as she stomped towards the edge of the village. Anyone within a respectable distance from her could feel the whirlwind of emotions that snapped and swirled within her. A familiar vibration settled within her soul.

“Of all the insufferable… argh !” she growled, just before unleashing a litany of curses.

The urge to hurt something or someone built up within her as she put as much distance between herself and the village as possible. She did not bother to look behind her to see if anyone was following her. For their sakes and her own, they had better gotten the hint and left her well enough alone. With the way she was feeling right now, she would have brought the heavens down on the poor fools.

Or called forth demons from hell.

Whichever answered her summons first.

Within a short time, Kagome climbed the slope to the line of trees that edged the village of Edo before crossing through. Ahead was the glade that housed the now magicless Bone-Eater’s Well. Once she approached it, she found a new outlet for her fury. Without skipping a beat, the miko swung her leg and kicked the battered old well. There was a crack in her big toe that she knew would be hurting once she calmed down, but she was less than satisfied.

Kagome placed her shakuhachi on the ground before taking a stance that would have impressed even the most seasoned baseball players of the modern era. She allowed her backpack to slide from her shoulder and gripped the strap before swinging the bag with everything that she had. The items in her bag, namely a fresh kimono, a length of cloth to dry herself with, and a small pillow, padded the blow, striking the side well with a soft but forceful “Poof!”

It only added fuel to the raging wildfire that burned within her.

“I hate you,” she ground out at the dead well. She glared at the wooden structure as if she was trying to make it burst into flames with just her eyes. Retrieving her instrument, she continued, limping through the glade and into the forest on the other side. She didn’t think her toe was broken, but it wouldn’t have stopped her anyway.

They had left in mid-March, but they were only a week into their trip to the Northern territories when Kagome felt… off. She couldn’t explain it, but it just didn’t feel right. The feeling was like a vibration that ran along her nerves and it had her on edge. She didn’t know what it was or what was happening. What if it was her body telling her to slow down? What if it was the Shikon no Tama telling her that they needed to go the opposite direction? She spent half of the time pleading with their group to turn around and go back, but her arguments and logic fell on deaf ears.

We gotta find the last shards.

The Shikon is your responsibility .

You need to fulfill your duty .

As a miko, you are obligated to protect the Shikon no Tama .

The other half of the journey only found Kagome more upset than they had ever seen her before. The vibrations in her nerves felt like they had shifted deeper into her soul. She went long periods without even acknowledging any of her companions as the feelings of resentment and anger started to bloom within her chest.

It was late August by the time they made it back to Edo. Kagome was practically fuming, and, not to mention, exhausted. The vibrating within her body was steady and hard to ignore. The miko spent long hours of the night awake as she tried to meditate it away. As a result, the mornings always left her exhausted, but her friends wanted to push on anyway.

In the five months they were gone, they still did not find a single shard.

None.

Not one

Not even a tingle that would hint at one.

But her companions would never let her forget her place.

Responsibility. Duty. Obligation. The words she was beginning to hate with all of her being.

When she was first pulled through the well on her 15th birthday, she really wanted to help in any way she could. Compassion moved her to release the puppy-eared hanyou that had been sealed to the Goshinboku, pinned to the ancient tree for 50 years. She tried to aim the arrow, despite knowing she had never even touched a bow before in her life, at the crow youkai that had taken the Shikon no Tama soon after it was ripped from her body. Her aim was better than she had anticipated, but she still came up short, striking the Shikon no Tama clutched in the talons of the bird. Shame flooded her as the unexpected burst of reiki caused the Shikon to shatter into countless shards across the countryside.

The selfsame shards that they were still hunting for five years later.

Kagome tried to fight the feelings of resentment, anger, and jealousy. She truly did. As a miko, she was supposed to remain pure of mind, heart, and body. She was supposed to embody love and compassion, duty and responsibility. If she was a woman from this era, born and raised with such expectations already instilled in her, she knew that being the Guardian of the Shikon no Tama would have been a lot easier to bear.

But she wasn’t.

Kagome was born into a modern family in a modern world. She was raised with modern ideals of independence, self-respect, and freedom of choice. Yes, she was only in high school when she was first pulled through the well, but by then, she had already been exposed to sensibilities that were foreign concepts to the people in the Sengoku Jidai.

The Sengoku Jidai. The Warring States Period. The period of Japan’s history that was filled with civil wars and dangers around every corner. Death and destruction were rife wherever they went.

At first, at 15 years of age, she felt like she was living every history lovers’ and fanfiction writers’ dream: being able to live in a romanticized era of a bygone age. Maybe she could have even enjoyed the experience of being there and living in a way that her modern contemporaries would envy if duty and obligation weren’t being thrown in her face on a regular basis.

Even the older miko, Kaede never failed to remind her that being the Guardian of the Shikon no Tama was such a great privilege. Kagome knew that if there was at least a modicum of understanding and gratitude, she would have been at least a little bit more accepting.

It wasn’t her fault that she was born with the Shikon no Tama embedded within her body. But no, once that accursed well awakened and Mistress Centipede pulled her through, her role as the Keeper of the Shikon no Tama was all but forced upon her. And now, five years later, suffice it to say, she was more than ready to be done with the whole thing. And then, to add insult to injury, the well had sealed sometime in the months before they had returned, leaving her stranded in a time period that was not her own.

Kagome allowed herself to get lost in the forest. The longer she wandered, the longer it would take for her to get back, and maybe, just maybe , she would have calmed down by then. She wanted to walk longer than she did, but the pain from her toe begged for mercy.

When she arrived at the stream, she set her bag and shakuhachi on the bank, then pulled off her socks and shoes before wading into the water. Her original idea was to find the stream to wash in, but she wasn’t in the mood to undress. She had been hoping that the cool water would temper the rage she felt. The anger was still there, but at least it helped her foot.

She didn’t know how long she stayed at the stream, sitting on the bank with her feet still in the water and the bamboo flute to her lips.  The area surrounding her was quiet, the only sounds coming from Kagome’s instrument. She only started playing the shakuhachi in the last couple of years and did not have any training. She managed to learn a couple of songs from a music book her mother procured for her during one of her visits home. On top of that, Inuyasha always complained whenever she would start practicing.

Then again, he always complained if it was anything less than what he wanted.

What he wanted didn't matter to her.

Not anymore.

Kagome stopped playing her shakuhachi and sat it to the side. She was grateful for the privacy that she had at the moment and pulled the incomplete Shikon no Tama from her bag. The small golf ball-sized orb still had a tiny section the size of a grain of rice missing. She held it up to the fading light, but she knew exactly what she would see. She first saw it months ago when she first felt the vibration in her soul.

It was when she first recognized the resentment and anger for what they were and accepted them.

It was when she felt betrayed that her comrades would force her to keep to this duty and obligation without question.

It was when she realized that she would be stranded 500 years in the past and she was going to have to figure out how she would survive.

The Shikon no Tama was no longer glowing a solid soft pink, indicative of the pure energy housed within it. Something else swirled with the pure energy: growing tendrils of dark energy, reminiscent of smoky quartz entangled with the soft pink of purity that had previously dominated the Jewel.

The Shikon no Tama had been tainted.

As its Keeper, the taint could only have come from herself.

Deep down within her heart, she could not feel ashamed about it.

That fact almost made her smile.

Kagome watched the energies swirling within the Jewel with something akin to fascination. The dance of the opposing forces was hypnotizing. They swirled and moved freely around each other, as if caressing or even embracing each other. It wasn’t until she heard what sounded like the shuffle of leaves nearby that pulled her out of her trance.

She put the Shikon no Tama away and realized that it was quite dark outside. It was well after nightfall before Kagome returned to the hut she shared with Kaede. Noiselessly, she slipped under the blanket on top of her futon, but she stayed awake.

Despite being practically shackled to the Shikon no Tama and having her freedom of choice forcefully removed, Kagome did recognize the benefits of identifying as a miko in this era. Her rebellious spirit hated the label and the expectations that resulted from it.

But she wasn’t stupid.

Most of the women of this age were little more than possessions or pawns in the game of life. They were traded in marriage for financial and political gain between families. They were there for their husbands’, and sometimes even their fathers’ and brothers’, pleasures. They stayed indoors and bore children. They made tea and twittered about with other women. They lived caged lives.

Not all of them.

But certainly a large percentage of them.

Without a family and being unmarried at 20, Kagome knew that there was very little she could do to support herself. If that meant carrying the title of a miko, then so be it. At least as a miko, or introducing herself as one even if she didn’t want to, she had a means to support herself. She had a measure of protection and, dare she say, influence that could be used to her advantage.

But it would be on her own terms.

It would be for her own benefit.

She really needed to understand what was happening to her. The vibrating within her had slowed to a pulse. Like this, the sensation wasn’t as uncomfortable as it was when it first started, but it was there. Her reiki was still there, but it was feral. Meditation kept it from getting out of control, but she still needed to learn how to channel it properly. And she needed to learn how to fight. She could not  keep relying on others to always rescue her.

She really needed a teacher.

And to find one, she needed to leave the village of Edo.

However, the first order of business was that they needed to find the last piece or pieces of the Shikon no Tama. It was imperative that they do so. If she needed to find help elsewhere, then she would. Ideally, an alliance would be the most beneficial move. Fights were a great possibility, arguments were a given. But even they had to admit that their team was deficient. 

Team. The word made Kagome cringe.

The Inutachi would spout words about being a team, about being friends, and so on. But Kagome felt like they were a team and she was an accessory. They strategized and planned. She detected shards. They fought and brought down whatever they were facing. She purified the shards they retrieved.

Used to purify the shards they retrieved. They issued commands and expected her to follow them. It was time she followed her own path.

~~~~~~

Despite being out late, Kagome rose early the next morning and put water on the fire for tea. As she waited for the water, she dressed in a simple blue and white kimono that had a green and yellow haneri . She finished it with a simple red sash.

She prepared a simple breakfast of eggs and vegetables for the older woman in silence. She was not in the mood to answer questions or to endure the company of any of them. She hoped with all her might that Kaede would graciously accept her breakfast and leave her be.

Unfortunately, the aged miko didn’t get the hint.

“Ye were gone for a long time, child,” she said, shuffling into the living space. “I’m glad ye did not run into any trouble.”

Kagome recognized it as the same grandmotherly tone she would usually use when she tried to tease information out of them. Only this time, it felt patronizing. As kind as Kaede could be, she, too, never failed to remind Kagome of what everyone expected of her as a miko. She knew the older woman was delighted to have, what was in her mind, a protégé, despite any protests Kagome might have countered with. The younger woman felt her frustration rising, but stayed silent.

“Is everything alright with ye?” Kaede asked.

Kagome suppressed the exasperated huff. If she didn’t acknowledge the old woman, she was sure that Kaede would granny her to death.

“I’m fine, Kaede-baasan” she said, shortly.

“I know it was a shock for ye to find the well closed, perhaps the Shikon…” Kaede rambled on. Kagome stopped listening, although she thought she did a rather stellar job of responding just enough to keep Kaede satisfied while mentally forcing herself to keep from simply walking out on her.

“Oi, wench!” the loud-mouthed hanyou, one of the sources of her disdain, burst into the small living space. He folded his arms across his chest and glared down at her. Kagome didn’t bother looking at him as she gave Kaede her plate of breakfast and a cup of tea. “When did you get back last night? Why didn’t you say anything? Do you know how much Sango was worried about you? You can be so selfish, Kagome!”

Kagome let him carry on. The well had closed and she was contending with the sensation of a vibration in her soul. She was stranded in a time that wasn’t her own and surrounded by people that she had expected to understand her so much better than they did. She didn’t want to think that her comrades were sadistic enough to want her to feel so miserable. However, it was the way Inuyasha invited himself in and started berating her this early in the morning that had her actually considering that they might be that cruel.

Kagome figured that the wisest thing she could do at this moment was to remove either herself or the hanyou from this current situation. Trying to remove the hanyou would bring the hut down on Kaede. As much as the old woman contributed to her day not starting out as well as she could only hope for, she wasn’t ready for her to die.

Not yet, at any rate.

She moved into the sleeping quarters and started folding her futon. Whatever else Inuyasha was arguing, complaining, and/or grumbling about, Kagome didn’t hear. Her only objective at this point was to finish making her bed and exit the hut. She had a couple of goals in mind and both would require travel. She had no idea where to start, but she knew she needed to at least get out of the village first.

Hopefully, without incident.

The presence of a familiar youki that tickled her senses was not the savior of her dilemma she was particularly looking for, but she was glad for it all the same.

Inuyasha paused in his one-sided tirade. “Sesshoumaru,” he grumbled, before he stepped outside of the hut.

Kagome felt butterflies fluttering around in the pit of her stomach, but she continued with her task of tidying up. There were only a couple of reasons why Sesshoumaru would come to the village. Any of those reasons were usually because of her. Despite how upset she was, she truly wished she had a chance to see him last night. She hoped he wanted to see her. She hoped he had missed her.

And now, she had another reason to see him.

She wanted, no, needed , an alliance with him. They needed an alliance with him.

No matter how many times she tried to explain that Sesshoumaru was her friend, Inuyasha would dig his heels in. Even her other comrades continuously criticized her regarding her friendship with Sesshoumaru. They only saw the Western Lord as the enemy of their friend and that was enough for them. Kagome did not expect Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha to be friends, nor even like each other for that matter, but she was certainly not going to allow anyone to dictate to her who she could associate with.

Besides, there was more to their acquaintance than her companions could truly comprehend. It disappointed Kagome more than she wanted to admit that she was simply unable to confide in any of them like she wanted. In Sesshoumaru, she found everything that she was missing. He even made the thought of being stranded in a time that wasn’t her own actually bearable.

“What do you want, Sesshoumaru?” Inuyasha demanded. She could picture the red garbed hanyou crossing his arms, puppy ears at attention, and standing wide legged in a defiant posture as if he was a sentry on duty.

Sesshoumaru’s smooth baritone filtered through to her ears, unconsciously bringing a smile to her lips. The butterflies in her stomach did backflips.

This Sesshoumaru does not have business with you, Inuyasha.”

“Oh yeah?” Inuyasha challenged. “Then why are you here ?”

Kagome placed the shawl she was holding onto her futon. She pulled her hair into a side ponytail and added a matching red, white, and yellow kanzashi. It was one of those days that she really wished she had a full-length mirror. She picked up her shakuhachi and approached the door, but Kaede’s voice made her pause.

“Perhaps ye should allow Inuyasha to handle this.”

Kagome ignored her as she smoothed out her kimono. The younger woman knew from experience that she was the best one suited to “ handle this” . Kagome straightened her back before she stepped out of the door.

She saw Sesshoumaru’s gaze slide over to her the moment she stepped out of the hut. He caught her eye over Inuyasha’s shoulder. Kagome noticed how his eyes lingered over her form, as if he was committing the way she looked to memory. She couldn’t help the blush under his scrutiny. She didn’t have very many kimonos, but since she found herself in this era far longer than she had anticipated, she relented. The one with the matching hair comb that she now wore was one of three that was given to her by Sesshoumaru the last time they met after she had expressed her need for new clothing.

“Miko-sama,” he said respectfully, bowing low at the waist. Kagome smiled inwardly. He had been addressing her in that way for the last couple of years and only whenever they were in the presence of others. She never asked him why he did so, but she knew that he did not do so in jest or mockery. It was as if he recognized the respect that was owed to her and wanted everyone else to acknowledge it as well.

The first time Sesshoumaru addressed Kagome as such, Inuyasha was thoroughly taken aback by the fact that his youkai half-brother, the Lord of the Western Lands and the eldest son of the inudaiyoukai, had addressed a ningen with such formality and respect. The fact that Sesshoumaru still did it baffled the hanyou. Inuyasha threw surprised glances at Miroku and Sango, both of whom looked just as confused as he did. Kagome ignored the questioning (nosy, in her opinion) looks that turned her way and returned the low bow.

“Sesshoumaru-sama,” she said, “you honor me with your presence.” Inuyasha recovered enough to snort in derision behind her. She intentionally addressed Sesshoumaru personally, a move that completely ignored the others. They might have found it rude, but considering what she experienced with them over the last few months, she couldn’t find it in herself to care. The others were free to address him if they wished and as they pleased. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“This Sesshoumaru would be honored if you would grant this One a private audience with you.”

“What!” Inuyasha shouted, “Hell no! Leave, Sesshoumaru , you aren’t welcome here!”

Kagome ignored Inuyasha outburst and nodded to the golden-eyed youkai. “Certainly, my lord. If it pleases you, I know where we can speak privately.”

She turned a pointed look at Inuyasha to make sure he understood the meaning of private and the seriousness of obeying her wishes before she turned and led Sesshoumaru out of the village.

Over the course of the five years she had been searching for the shards, the acquaintance between Sesshoumaru and Kagome had evolved greatly. When they first crossed paths, he rarely spoke and barely acknowledged her as little more than “the miko ” . They had crossed paths several times during their travels. A few of those times found her conversing with Sesshoumaru while the others hunted or set up camp. It was usually when she was either doing laundry or satisfying her need for a bath. A few of their conversations were trading intelligence regarding the Shikon shards, but most of their interactions were in companionable conversation.

Kagome was quite surprised to find that he was an excellent conversationalist, especially when he spoke in a more relaxed and informal way around her. He inquired into the most minute details about what made her her . Some of his questions were quite personal, but she answered him, regardless. In turn, Kagome asked him equally private and detailed questions.

She had a feeling that, aside from his mother, she was the only one who knew so much about him. It was also during this time that she revealed her origins to the Western Lord, explaining her uniqueness came from having been born 500 years into his future, and confessed her deepest and darkest feelings about her duty as the Guardian of the Shikon no Tama. In him, she found the compassion and empathy that she sorely wished her comrades had towards her plight.

No, it was more than that. It was a mutual respect that had developed into a mutual affection for each other at some point. Neither knew when it had evolved, but they knew that it did. The way they felt for each other was openly there, if someone only took the time to see it. They didn’t try to hide it, but they also didn’t draw attention to it, either. At least, not in public and certainly not around her teammates.

She walked wordlessly and led him to the only place she could think of that would give them a measure of privacy.

The now defunct Bone-Eater’s Well.

Kagome tried to suppress the renewed resentment she felt as she stopped at the old wooden structure. She lowered herself into the grass, her back against the well. She laid her shakuhachi in the grass beside her as she made herself comfortable.

Sesshoumaru peered down at her before sitting beside her. He reached out and ran the back of a finger down her jaw. She closed her eyes and leaned into the gesture, her posture relaxing at his touch and taking the support from it that she sincerely needed.

“What has vexed you so, my miko?” he asked, softly.

A lot had happened since she last saw him. She was glad to see him. “I’ve missed you.” 

“So much that you would attempt to destroy the Well with your bag and injure your person in the process?” The humor in his voice made Kagome snap her eyes open to find him smirking at her.

“You were watching me last night.”

It wasn’t an accusation, but she didn’t expect to have a witness to her very unladylike fit of rage. He leaned over and nuzzled her neck behind her ear.

“You were away from me for so long, Kagome,” he murmured against her skin. If he was a cat, he would have been purring. “I came to see if you had returned and found you in such a state of unhappiness. I thought it wise to give you some space until I could see you this morning.”

She blushed and explained to him what had happened during the months they were apart. Their journey into the North, the sensation that was going through her body, and the closing of the well were the main topics she covered. It was a culmination of frustration and disappointment that blossomed into anger and resentment. As she unloaded everything that she’d been holding in upon him, she reached into her kimono and withdrew the Shikon no Tama, holding it up for his inspection. The pink and smoky black energies swirled together. Where the energies in the Jewel had previously been balanced, equal amounts of both colors, it was obvious that the dark energy was taking over.

“It’s tainted,” she whispered.

All she knew about the Shikon no Tama was what was told to her by Kikyou, Kaede, her companions, and other miko that she met in their travels. According to them, the Jewel was supposed to remain pure and pink. The dark energy could take over a person’s mind, turning a once good person into a villain.

The idea of it should have scared her, but it didn’t.

She didn’t feel evil. She just felt…normal.

Yes, she experienced anger, resentment, jealousy, even hatred. Any normal person would. No one could be expected to maintain purity and righteousness and happiness all the time. It was impossible.

Sesshoumaru withdrew his touch from her face and covered her hand with his, encasing the Shikon no Tama between their palms. She felt his youki radiate from his hand as though he was probing the Jewel. Her reiki rose to meet it, prompting the now familiar vibration deep within her soul to pulse at a faster rate. As soon as it started, Sesshoumaru’s eyes darted to hers. He stared at her so intently, she tried to look away.

“Look at me, Kagome,” he gently commanded.

Her eyes went back to his and held it. She didn’t know what he was looking for, but she gasped when the vibration grew a bit stronger. At her reaction, he pulled back, releasing her hand and softening his gaze. She swallowed.

“You felt that?” she asked.

He looked down at the Shikon no Tama, light and dark energies swirling hypnotically within.

“This is the sensation you experienced during your travels?”

She nodded, “Yes, about a week after we left.” She had to ask. “What is it? What’s happening?”

Sesshoumaru shook his head. “I do not know,” he admitted. “I have never heard of or even felt such a thing. It is… different .”

Her eyes dropped from his, the worry and confusion that she felt marred her features. Hooking his finger under her chin, he lifted her face and pressed a soft kiss to her mouth, earning a sigh from her as her reiki retreated and the vibration relaxed to a gentle thumping in her soul.

“We will find the answer,” he promised.

Kagome smiled. “Yes, we will, ” she agreed. She paused before saying, “I feel like I need a teacher. I’ve never had any formal training. Not just for my reiki, but for whatever this is. I feel like they’re related, but I don’t have the faintest idea what to do and how to manage it. Let alone just exploring it. Everything I can do, I learned on the fly.”

“When I go back to the West, I will search my library for any information that may assist us.”

Kagome nodded as Sesshoumaru laid a hand on her thigh. She wrapped her arms around his, feeling relieved to finally unload some of that burden from her shoulders. She was still unhappy, but knowing that she didn’t have to bear it alone made it much more tolerable. She wrapped her arm around his, settling her head on his shoulder as her eyes closed. She was grateful that she could draw from his strength and was even more so that he was willing to offer it.

Sesshoumaru was the first to break the silence.

“Will you play for me?” he asked.

Kagome lifted her head and smiled at him, reaching for the instrument at her side. During one of their conversations around two years ago, she had expressed that she had always wanted to learn. She had heard the music of a shakuhachi at a festival when she was a child and she was enamoured with it. When she saw him again after that conversation, he had presented her with the instrument along with three kimonos. She couldn’t contain her excitement as she accepted his gifts, accusing him of spoiling her.

You deserve to be spoiled , he had responded, causing her to blush.

Kagome lifted the bamboo flute to her mouth and proceeded to play one of the songs that she learned. All of the ones she had seen in shops were simple and plain, showing off the natural grain of the bamboo. If it was coated, it would only be a clear sealant to give it a bit of a shiny finish, but no more. The shakuhachi that Sesshoumaru had gifted her was exquisite. The bamboo had been cured with black lacquer. Kanzan-zakura had been painted down the right side of the instrument and her name was painted down the left with a clear lacquer overlay to protect the artwork.

He’d had it commissioned just for her.

The song she played was a modern piece of music, but she knew without a doubt that Sesshoumaru would enjoy it. Trusting her instinct, she poured herself into her practice until she had mastered it.

Her gamble paid off because once she first played the piece in full for Sesshoumaru, it was the song he always asked for.

As the music filled the glade, she watched Sesshoumaru’s eyes close as he listened, taking in every note that came from the lacquered instrument. At length, she finished her song and he opened his eyes again. She managed to play it flawlessly. She beamed with pride as she lowered the flute from her mouth.

“Very, very well done,” he commended her. “You have improved greatly since you played for me last.”

She blushed deeply as she murmured her thanks.

“There is another matter that I wish to speak with you about.”

“Hmm?” she intoned, setting the shakuhachi to the side.

“It was last year when we had a discussion regarding Rin.”

Kagome sat up and gave him her full attention. “I remember. You wished for her to be adopted by a ningen family. You wanted to tell her but didn’t know how.”

He nodded. “That is correct. I still have not broached the subject to her yet. She will be entering her 12th year soon.”

She understood what he wasn’t saying. The girl would be starting her first cycle soon if she hadn’t already and she needed the guidance of a ningen woman, a mother, to help her navigate the critical years of puberty. Deep down, she had to admit that while she was honored that he asked her opinion and advice, Kagome was relieved and glad that he did not ask her to take in the child.

It was two years ago when Sesshoumaru had referred a newly mated couple in his employ, an ookami male and a kitsune female, who were interested in adoption to her. Shippou was smitten with them instantly and left their group to be raised by his new family.

Similarly, Rin was a lovely girl and she would make any parent proud. Kagome loved children and wanted her own someday. However, at 20 years old, Kagome honestly did not want to raise a pre-teen. Not at this time.

Sesshoumaru continued.

“I understand that you are just returning from traveling for several months. However, I wish to ask if you would be willing to accompany me to explain the situation to her and to deliver her to a ningen village.”

“Of course,” Kagome answered right away. It wasn’t very often when the great inudaiyoukai of the Western Lands asked for a favor. She was weary from her most recent travels, on edge from the new sensations from the Shikon no Tama, and anxious from the stress of the well closing, but for all of the support he had given her through these years and was still giving her, she could not refuse him. She would not refuse him. “When do you wish to leave?”

“As early as you are willing,” he said. “If you wish to take a couple of days to rest before setting out again, you may do so.”

She shook her head. Staying a couple of days in this village with the Inutachi would not end well for anybody. She didn’t want to stay there. Besides, there was always a chance that they could find another shard. “I only need to get my bag and we can go.”

“Very well.”

Sesshoumaru stood and offered his hand to Kagome. Once she was on her feet, he kissed her sweetly and picked up her shakuhachi before they headed back to the village. When they approached Kaede’s hut, they found Inuyasha pacing aggressively like a dog that had been fenced in for too long.

The white haired hanyou glared at Sesshoumaru as Kagome continued towards the hut to retrieve what she would need for the journey.

“Oi, what took you so long, wench?” Inuyasha called after her as she stepped around him. He continued shouting at her back, then at the closed door after she entered. “What were you guys talking about? Why did you go so far? And why do you smell like him ?”

Kagome ignored him. No matter how she responded, he would start a fight that would only serve to delay their departure. She already told Sesshoumaru that she could leave immediately and she was going to keep her word. She was happy that she was able to suppress a smile when Sesshoumaru decided to humor him.

“This Sesshoumaru had much to discuss with her,” he was explaining, reverting back to his formal speech pattern. She knew he was mainly addressing Inuyasha, but everyone in their immediate circle was present. “It would have no longer been a private audience if four extra sets of ears were listening.”

Kagome could just imagine the hackles rising on the back of Inuyasha’s neck as Sesshoumaru stressed the word private . Inuyasha ground out, “But why does she smell like you? And why do you smell like her ?”

“Such a thing does occur when spending any amount of time in the presence of another,” he was saying. “Unless your hanyou brain is too dull to figure that out.”

Kagome heard the sound of steel as Inuyasha apparently slid Tetsusaiga from its scabbard. She shook her head at his foolishness, as unsurprising as it was, as she placed items in her bag. She didn’t understand why Inuyasha would get so riled up when it was apparent that Sesshoumaru was only baiting his younger brother. She looked around to make sure she didn’t miss anything.

“You want to say that again?” Inuyasha threatened darkly.

“This Sesshoumaru’s point has been made if this One must repeat himself,” the elder brother responded with his trademark air of superiority. Kagome was sure he finished his statement with a toss of his hair over his shoulder. It was a shame she missed it.

What sounded like Sango and Miroku shouting indicated that Inuyasha took the bait and at least lunged at Sesshoumaru, if he didn’t outright swing at him. Kagome put a cloth that she was using for a bath towel in her bag before closing it. After the abuse she put on the bag the night before, she was surprised and relieved that it didn’t take any more damage than it had already sustained over the last five years.

When Kagome stepped outside with her bag, it was just in time to see Inuyasha take a wild swing at Sesshoumaru. With the grace of a well-seasoned warrior, Sesshoumaru easily sidestepped Inuyasha’s advance, causing the hanyou to stumble forward a bit. She was no swordswoman herself, but even she could see the sloppy execution. How the hanyou didn’t fall flat on his face honestly surprised her. Kagome knew that Sesshoumaru was aware of her standing at the door of the hut, watching their display. He could have ended it at any time, but her ego whispered that he was showing off for her.

Inuyasha threw his weight behind his next swing, a backhanded swipe that looked strong enough to seriously injure Sesshoumaru, if he were a lesser youkai. Sesshoumaru was, in fact, not a lesser youkai and flash-stepped behind Inuyasha, causing the hanyou to miss his mark. The momentum resulted in Inuyasha over-rotating and he slipped, dropping to one knee.   The display of the fighting brothers had drawn a crowd of villagers, a combination of fear and fascination marked their faces. Closest to the fighting pair, the rest of the Inutachi stood nearby: Sango with Hiraikotsu on her back and Miroku with his hand on his beads to unleash his Kazaana. As if they needed to intervene.

Inuyasha was back on his feet in an instance and shouted at him, “Hold still, you bastard!” while brandishing Tetsusaiga over his head as if it was a battle axe. He lunged at Sesshoumaru again, ready to bring his sword into a downward slice. The older brother didn’t bother to move that time, choosing to plant a well placed punch square in the younger one’s diaphragm, successfully knocking the wind out of Inuyasha’s lungs. The hanyou doubled over, holding his middle as he gulped for air, as Sesshoumaru dropped his elbow in the middle of his back. Inuyasha immediately collapsed to the ground.

Sesshoumaru took advantage of Inuyasha’s incapacitation and stepped to Kagome before taking her bag, slinging it over his own shoulder. Kagome was vaguely aware of Miroku and Sango rushing to Inuyasha, to help him to his feet. Without a word, Kagome fell into step behind him as Sesshoumaru began to turn and walked away.

“Wait, Kagome,” Sango asked, confused. “Are you leaving?”

“Yes,” she said simply. “We won’t be back for some time, I think.”

Miroku stepped forward, “But why? What about the hunt for the shards? What about Naraku?”

Kagome took in a couple of deep breaths. She heard Sesshoumaru’s footsteps stop. She already knew the others would give her a hard time for considering anything but what they wanted.

“We haven’t found shards in a year, at least ,” she said. “I think we can-”

The taijiya cut her off, “But your obligation to the Shikon no Tama dictates that-”

“I know what my obligation dictates, Sango!” Kagome spat out. She really did try to keep her composure, but this was the same song and dance that they performed for the last year. “Not only do you people ,” she gestured wildly to the Inutachi, “never fail to remind me at every chance you get, but I am practically chained to it! I did not choose this responsibility, this duty , but I will choose how I live my life! And right now , Sesshoumaru and I have some business to attend to.”

“Regardless, Kagome,” Miroku stated calmly, trying to maintain diplomacy, “we believe that your Guardianship of the Shikon no Tama really should take precedence over anything else. At least at this time.”

Inuyasha joined in, having recovered from being Sesshoumaru’s example of why he is the superior fighter and tagged himself into this argument, “Besides, you were the one stupid enough to break it in the first place!” he said. “Fixing that should be your priority. Not running off to do whatever!” he gestured to Sesshoumaru, “Especially with him !”

Kagome felt the uptick in her temper. She took a step forward, ready to unleash her anger on the ones before her…those she had called friends at one time.

It was Sesshoumaru’s voice that stopped her.

“Miko-sama,” he said. Kagome stopped in her tracks, as she took in deep breaths. He moved closer to her and placed his hand on her shoulder. He lowered his voice. “Kagome.”

The sound of her name drew her attention that time. She turned to him, her blue eyes burned with unbridled fury.

Sesshoumaru said softly, “Your only duty is to yourself. Make the choices that are right for you and damn the consequences.”

Kagome held his gaze for a brief moment before he turned away and started walking towards the treeline. Her heart swelled in gratitude as she watched his retreating back. At least somebody cared about what she wanted.

“We’ll be back in a few weeks. Take care of Kaede while we’re gone,” she said simply and turned her back to the group.

They all called out to her, with both pleading and arguing, but she continued walking with her head held high, following Sesshoumaru into the line of trees.

Chapter Text

Kagome followed Sesshoumaru wordlessly as he led her through the forest. They didn’t walk as long as she had expected before they came upon Rin and Jaken. The little girl was sitting by the fire with what looked like paper and a brush. As they approached, Kagome found that the girl was practicing calligraphy. Ah-Un, the two-headed white dragon that Sesshoumaru kept, was lying down beside the girl, his heads were down and eyes closed as though he was napping, but Kagome knew from previous times spent with their group that he was still alert. Jaken, the kappa youkai and Sesshoumaru’s most loyal retainer, was standing guard, his Nintojo perched on his knees, as he kept his eyes on the trees.

At the sight of Kagome, Rin jumped up and threw herself around the young woman’s waist. Even Jaken rose from his place and gave her a low bow.

“I am so happy to see you, Kagome-sama!” the girl said excitedly.

Kagome returned her hug with a smile. She was truly happy to see her. “Rin, you are getting so tall now!” she commented. When the girl started following Sesshoumaru, Kagome thought she was rather small for her age, the top of her head coming to just below her waist. Now, at almost twelve years old, Rin’s head came to her chest.

“Sesshoumaru-sama says that I will be as tall as you when I am an adult!” 

Kagome met Sesshoumaru’s eye over the top of Rin’s head. “Did he now?” she asked, smiling. He looked away as though he was embarrassed, which only increased her grin.

“Yes! He also said that I should work hard to be smart just like you!” Rin grabbed Kagome’s hand and led her to where she had been doing her calligraphy work. “See? I’ve been practicing just like you showed me!”

Kagome sat beside Rin and humored the girl while she caught Kagome up on everything that she’d been doing since they had last seen each other. Rin had pulled out a scroll and started reading aloud to Kagome. In the years that she’s been acquainted with Sesshoumaru and Rin, Kagome would take time whenever she crossed paths with them to teach the girl a bit of reading and writing. She couldn’t deny the pride she felt as Rin showed off her literacy skills, especially considering the fact that most women in this era, aside from high ranking nobles, were not educated. But she also knew that Sesshoumaru would have employed at least one tutor in order for Rin to keep up with her studies.

Most ningen women in this era, including Kaede and Sango, were not educated. At first, it crossed Kagome’s mind that she might have made a mistake when teaching Rin basic education. However, as she thought about it, she wouldn’t have done anything differently. She would bring it up to Sesshoumaru.

Jaken bowed before Sesshoumaru. “Pardon me, milord! If it pleases you, I shall take Rin to fetch something to eat.”

Sesshoumaru nodded.

Jaken was about to scurry off behind Rin before he stopped and bowed to Kagome. “Do you have any preference for your meal this morning, Miko-sama?”

His address to her caught her off guard. While he ceased being outright rude to her quite early in their acquaintance, this was the first time that he addressed her as such. Her eyes darted up to Sesshoumaru’s in question, to which he only responded with a slight nod.

She nearly turned him down, but then realized that, while she made breakfast for Kaede, she herself had yet to eat. She turned back to Jaken, “Whatever you find for Rin is fine for me as well. Thank you, Jaken.”

The little retainer bowed to her again and scampered off. Kagome watched as the kappa led the girl into the forest. “I was thinking, Sesshoumaru.” He looked at her with his full attention. “Have you decided which village you wanted to take Rin to?”

He nodded. “There is a village in the Southern lands near the Western border. It has a diverse population of both ningen and youkai that seemed promising.”

Kagome tilted her head to the side in thought. “Would the village elder happen to be a hanyou named Jiro?” she asked.

Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow. “You know of it.”

She grinned. “I do. It’s the village of Kokura. Jiro allowed us to stay there several times while we were hunting for the shards. I know the miko there as well named Kaoru.”

He nodded. “Kokura Village was suggested to me by Morinaga.”

“The Lord of the Southern Lands. A bear, if I remember correctly.”

Sesshoumaru had sought her out after a successful patrol of his lands, bringing her three shards to add to what had already been collected. However, what was a shard delivery turned into a three hour conversation about youkai politics. She was glad that she was paying attention because she didn’t know at the time that the information would be useful to her now.

“Indeed," he sounded impressed that she would remember, “however, if I was aware that you were familiar with that village, I would have sought your counsel instead.”

She blushed, still unused to receiving blatant compliments from the great Lord of the West. Still, she squared her shoulders and spoke what was on her mind.

“I know that you are aware that most women in this age are uneducated.” At his nod, Kagome continued. “Unlike other girls her age, Rin can both read and write. She will inevitably marry when she gets to be of age. I’m afraid there will be very few ningen men who will appreciate a literate woman. Save for a couple of exceptions.”

“Which are?”

“Politicians and nobility, and perhaps a merchant family,” she answered simply.

Sesshoumaru remained quiet as he studied her. Kagome could feel his eyes penetrating her, as if he was trying to get into her brain through osmosis.

“I suggest,” she began, “that instead of hunting around for a noble or politician that would be willing to take her in, she could study to be a miko.”

His eyebrows raised. “Are you offering to train her?”

Kagome blushed again, but shook her head.

“I am honored that you find me up to the task, Sesshoumaru, but I was thinking that she could perhaps undergo miko training with Kaoru at Kokura Village. I cannot speak for her holy powers, but I do know that Kaoru is quite an accomplished healer. She is a kind woman and I think she and Rin would get along very well. And, should Rin decide to marry later, she will have gained valuable knowledge that will aid her family. Besides, Rin won’t have to worry about the burden of the Shikon no Tama, it should be much easier for her.”

Sesshoumaru was silent. Kagome waited while he contemplated what she said. It was several long minutes of silence, but she knew that he would speak when he was ready. In the meantime, Kagome reached in her backpack and withdrew her music book. She looked over the music for a song she had been practicing, playing the sounds in her mind until, at length, he spoke.

“That is agreeable.”

She studied his expression. He seemed to be relieved that Rin would be in a village that Kagome was already familiar with and could vouch for. Kagome wasn’t sure if Lord Morinaga had mentioned it, but there were also plenty of other young ones in the village that were near Rin’s age that she could associate with whenever she wasn’t apprenticing. Hopefully, she’d be able to make friends to stave off the loneliness from being away from Sesshoumaru.

Soon, Jaken and Rin returned with six fish already cleaned and gutted. Kagome helped with the fire and, in short order, the fish were being cooked over the open flame. When Sesshoumaru finally sat down, he had taken the seat next to Kagome, sitting in agura style, his hands on his knees and his back straight. Rin sat across from the pair near the fire with her calligraphy set.

“Rin.”

The girl focused her attention on him. Kagome noticed that he faltered. He could easily obliterate anyone or anything that crossed his path, but the powerful inudaiyoukai could not express himself to a child. Kagome couldn’t help but to find it endearing. She gently placed her hand on top of his that was resting on his knee and spoke up for him.

“Rin, Sesshoumaru-sama and I were wondering if you would like to learn how to be a miko, like me.”

The young girl’s eyes lit up. “Really? You’ll teach me?” she practically bounced in excitement.

Kagome shook her head.

“I do not have the training nor experience to teach you properly,” she said. “But, there is a village in the lands of the Southern Lord that has a miko I think you will like very much. Also, the village elder…” Kagome dropped her voice and whispered as if telling the little girl a great secret, “is an usagi hanyou with ears that droop like this!” Kagome picked up two leaves and hung them down the side of her face like the ears of a hound.

The little girl giggled. “Really!” she squealed again. But then she sobered up when the realization hit her. “But in the Southern lands, though? So that means that I won’t won’t be traveling with Sesshoumaru-sama and Jaken-sama anymore?”

She felt Sesshoumaru stiffen under her hand. This is the part that they were both nervous about, but Kagome continued on, confident that Rin would understand.

“I’m afraid not,” she said and the girl’s face fell. However, her next words caused Rin’s expression to brighten again, “but he’ll know where you are and he will be able to visit you as much as you like. There are many different types of ningen and youkai so you will always have someone interesting to meet. You will learn how to take care of sick people, like I do, and if you wish, you’ll be able to learn how to use any weapon you choose.”

“Will you be there?” Rin asked Kagome, quietly. It was like she knew what the answer was, but was afraid to ask.

Kagome hesitated.

“I will come to visit you as much as you want me to,” she promised. “Right now, I have a task that will keep me busy for a while, but when I’m done, I’ll come and see you as soon as I can.”

The girl’s expression brightened. “Okay! I’ll study hard and when you and Sesshoumaru-sama come to see me, I can show you what I can do!”

Kagome returned her smile and Sesshoumaru seemed to relax. She stole a glance at him and he appeared to give her a brief nod in approval. Rin took it much better than they thought she would. Not that they were expecting the girl to throw any kind of tantrum, but they did expect tears. A lot of them. However, Kagome had learned long ago that children are much more understanding than adults give them credit for.

They had eaten and busied themselves at their camp. After a few hours, Kagome noticed that Rin was fighting a losing battle against a nap. The little girl had a scroll open on her lap that she was reading, but it slipped out of her fingers as her head kept lolling about. Kagome got up from where she was sitting and repositioned Rin to lie down. She smiled as Jaken approached to assist her in making sure the girl was comfortable.

“I'm not schleep,” Rin slurred.

Kagome smiled at her, while moving her stationary and reading materials out of the way.

“Of course not,” she said, smiling down at the girl. “But it’s nice to be comfortable anyway.”

Jaken added his own little grumble under his breath, but one that was filled with affection for the girl that Kagome truly didn’t know he was capable of.

“Foolish child,” he muttered, “why are you trying to fight a battle you can’t win? You know you’ll feel better when you wake up.”

“Yeah, mkay.”

~~~~~~~~

It took three weeks for them to arrive at Kokura Village. Sesshoumaru had explained to her that he was taking a very less than direct route to try and cover as much ground as they could with the hope that they came across at least one of the remaining shards.

There were none. 

The party entered the village and Kagome led them to the elder’s home where she knocked on the door. Shortly, the village elder opened the door and Kagome greeted him with a smile. Kagome looked down at Rin, who had taken her hand in excitement at seeing the village elder described just the way Kagome said he was.

The elder was an usagi hanyou, complete with a pair of long lop-like ears that rested down each side of his head. His face was human-like, save his red beady eyes. His nose had a very distinct rabbity twitch. Salt and pepper hair hung to his shoulders.

“Why, if it isn’t Kagome-san!” he greeted with a bow, his ears swaying slightly with the motion. “Welcome back to Kokura!”

Kagome returned the bow. “It is wonderful to see you again, Jiro-dono. I trust you have been well?”

“Indeed, indeed! But it has been far too long since you have graced us with your presence!” the usagi lamented.

He ushered the group into his home. His beady eyes shifted to the tall youkai and the young girl; Sesshoumaru was at Kagome’s side and Rin stood in front of them. The miko made introductions and Jiro dropped into a seiza before lowering his head at Sesshoumaru’s feet.

“Morinaga-sama sent word that I should expect you,” he stated. “To be honored by the presence of the great Lord of the West, I am truly humbled.”

Sesshoumaru accepted the admiration with a slight nod. “This Sesshoumaru thanks you for your hospitality.”

“It is my understanding that this young lady,” Jiro had risen to his feet and offered a bow to Rin, “is seeking a new home.”

She didn’t have to see Sesshoumaru to know that he disapproved of the hanyou’s wording. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Rin drop her head and Sesshoumaru placed his hand on her shoulder in a comforting gesture. While, technically, it was true, just hearing the words out loud didn’t sit right with Kagome. She didn’t like the thought of foisting Rin onto someone else, even if it was for the girl’s benefit. Just the idea of it made it seem like her presence was no longer wanted and that was simply untrue.

Kagome had to correct that quickly. “Actually, Jiro-dono, Rin has shown promise as a healer and we believed that she would greatly benefit under the guidance of someone as skilled as Kaoru-san.”

Jiro nodded. “Ah, I see! You are in luck. Kaoru recently returned from assisting a neighboring village, so you are free to see her at your leisure. Oh, and Kagome-san,” he started as they were leaving. “You might want to stop by the forge and see Itsuki. You know, he has been quite taken with you during your previous visits.”

Jiro gave her a wink, but Kagome pretended not to see it and she avoided looking at Sesshoumaru.

The small party thanked Jiro and they went to the shrine. The village miko was bent over a low table, grinding herbs. They entered and, after Kagome made introductions to Kaoru, a good-natured ningen female of around thirty-five, the women engaged in a bit of small talk. She could feel Sesshoumaru’s eyes on her as she chatted with the other females. Kagome could also see that Rin liked the older woman immensely. Kagome let out a breath of relief that she didn't realize she was holding in.

Sharing a look with Sesshoumaru, the pair left Rin in Kaoru's capable hands and took a tour of the village. Kagome wanted Sesshoumaru to get a feel for Rin’s new home. If he didn’t like it, then she would insist on finding another village for the girl.

Once they had made a turn around the village, they went back to Jiro’s house. The usagi had insisted that they make themselves at home for as long as they desired. Kagome expressed a wish to stay for a couple of days.

One reason Kagome wanted to stay was to make sure that Rin got settled in. She wanted to be available if either she or Kaoru had any questions. Kagome also found that Sesshoumaru wished to stay in order to allow her to get a couple of days rest.

The other reason was that Kagome wanted to take advantage of Jiro’s generosity and use his library, if the small collection of tomes and scrolls could be called such. The opportunity to start browsing for information regarding the pulsing in her body was golden. She was not confident that anything could be found here, but she had to give it a try anyway.

~~~~~~~~

Two days after their arrival, Sesshoumaru joined Kagome for a walk after their evening meal. It was really the first time she had been out during that time, so she dressed in a light grey and pink kimono with a pink and yellow haneri under it. Since it was still quite warm out as the fall had not yet arrived, she put her hair up in a messy bun.

The downtime had been much appreciated. If it wasn’t for the continuous vibrating within her soul that she somehow slept through, she would have almost felt like she was back to normal. She had trouble sleeping when they first arrived. The pulsing in her soul had her so keyed up that she couldn’t relax enough to sleep at first. Finally after a couple of hours, Kagome fell asleep and stayed asleep for the majority of the time and only left the room to eat. While she was sleeping, she could have sworn she felt Sesshoumaru’s fingers caressing her very lightly. However, whenever she opened her eyes, he was gone.

She had found that Sesshoumaru took it upon himself to conduct regular patrols of the village and surrounding area. He wanted to see for himself, not only the integrity of the village’s security, but also to observe the villagers that would be Rin’s neighbors. He also took some time to search the meager tomes and scrolls that Jiro possessed while she was resting, but he could not find any information that would prove useful to them. Kagome felt her disappointment rise, but accepted it as she knew that the answers would not come to them easily.

Their walk took them to the shrine where the miko, Kaoru, had already started Rin on her lessons in herbology. They stepped inside silently as Kaoru explained the difference between ginger and ginseng: their physical properties and medicinal attributes. Rin was scribbling what appeared to be notes with her calligraphy brush. Kaoru glanced up at them, flashing the pair a smile before she turned her gaze back to the girl before her. Seeing that Rin was faring well, Kagome led Sesshoumaru back out of the shrine and continued walking.

“Kagome-san!” a voice called out to her.

The pair stopped walking to find a young man rushing at them. He was wearing a heavy leather apron and gloves with burn marks and dark smudges. Black smudges streaked his cheeks and forehead. The strong odor of smoke and iron radiated from him. He bore all of the indicators of being a blacksmith.

Kagome shot her eyes up at Sesshoumaru briefly before addressing him.

“Itsuki-san, you’re looking well.”

The young man either didn’t see the inudaiyoukai standing close to Kagome, or he didn’t care. Either way, Itsuki reached out and grabbed Kagome’s hands in a way that was reminiscent of whenever Kouga would declare his possession of Kagome. She had to resist the urge to cringe.

Kagome tried to smile, but she couldn’t. She wasn’t actively avoiding Itsuki while being in the village, especially since she was there for a specific purpose, but at the same time, she didn’t try seeking him out, either. She slid her hands out of his and stepped back. She felt Sesshoumaru place a hand on her shoulder possessively.

“Jiro-dono said that you were in town, but I was too busy to come and pay a visit. He has commissioned me to forge a fence that he wants installed around the park.”

Kagome truly didn’t want to be rude and just walk away, but he wasn’t taking any hints. “Oh, a park?” she half-interestedly.

“It’s quite lovely!” he said, “It’s on the other end of town and, I daresay, you would find it to your liking, Kagome-san,” he said, with a smile. “I would love to show it to you later after I have finished for the day.”

Kagome took that as her cue. “Oh, there’s no need to trouble yourself, Itsuki-san. I think we’ll go take a peek at it now since it’s on our way back.”

The young man beamed in delight as Kagome and Sesshoumaru started to head in that direction. To Kagome’s surprise, it was indeed a pretty garden area. Tall hedges lined the garden with a rough hewn rock structure at the far end that had water trickling down like a fountain. There was a stone bench under the fountain and a few others dotted throughout the flowered landscape. It was obvious that it had been well maintained. At this time of the evening, a shade was casted over the bench under the fountain. That was where they sat down.

“How are you feeling?” he asked. She turned towards him as he sat beside her. Concern shone from his golden eyes and she smiled.

“Physically, I am feeling much better. I really didn’t think I needed that much rest, but I guess I did. That weird pulsing, though…” She shook her head. “It's still the same. But I am well enough to travel if you’re ready to leave.”

Sesshoumaru gave her a nod as he reached out and gently stroked her cheek with the back of his hand.

“This Sesshoumaru is grateful for your assistance with finding a place for Rin,” he said. “This One would not have been able to handle such a delicate situation as deftly as you did. Your diplomacy and dependability are to be commended.”

She smiled as she leaned into his caress. “I confess, I wasn’t sure it was going to work. I was just winging it and hoping for the best.”

“A youkai female, who has more freedom in our politics, would not have been able to maneuver the situation like you did.”

Kagome ducked her head, trying to hide the blush that was rising in her face. “You flatter me, Sesshoumaru.”

He hooked a finger under her chin before leaning forward and rubbed her nose softly with his. “I speak only the truth,” he said softly. “I wish you could see yourself as I see you.” 

Even after knowing him as long as she had, Sesshoumaru always knew how to wake up the butterflies in her stomach. As much as she wanted to stay in that moment, Kagome needed to bring up the other topic that was on her mind. She cleared her throat.

“Sesshoumaru,” she started.

She hesitated, feeling the butterflies turn into nervousness around the ever-present pulsing in her soul. She knew that she didn’t have a reason to be nervous, but she also knew that it had to do with the way she walked away from the village and the Inutachi. They were probably offended and angry with her and they would likely give her a hard time. Besides, she did tell them that she and Sesshoumaru would return. It’s not like she left for good.

Once Sesshoumaru accepted, and Kagome was confident that he would, even if it was just for her sake, Inuyasha would certainly pick fights with his brother every chance he got. He was so narrow-minded that his dislike of his brother would override any ounce of common sense that he might have.

However, Kagome also knew that Sesshoumaru understood what she was going through with the group. The idea that he would refuse her just to avoid causing her more stress entered her mind and threatened to make her unhappy, but she pushed it aside for the simple fact that  she wanted him there.

She could admit that she was selfish, especially when it came to what she wanted.

And even more so in regards to Sesshoumaru.

Sesshoumaru had been there for her, showing her more support and compassion than she could have ever imagined from the great youkai Lord of the West. She was eternally grateful for that. However, the more time they spent together, then the more freely he showed that he cared for her as well. The physical contact, no matter how small, seemed to be more frequent and bolder. Whenever he touched or embraced her, it was as though she could feel him asking for more.

And she wanted to give him just as much as she wanted to take from him as well.

If that made her greedy and selfish, then so be it.

That’s why there was drama going on in her life right now. Because she had been putting aside what she wanted for those she had called friends at one time. And now, she had someone here before her who was giving to her freely without demanding anything in return.

Kagome’s train of thought was derailed as a finger slid down her cheek and along her neck, stopping at the haneri she wore under her kimono, gently fingering the delicate skin with his claws. The nervousness and uncertainty that she felt was quickly replaced by a shiver of delight. She tried again.

“Sesshoumaru, I was thinking…” her voice faltered as her eyes closed.

“Hn.”

She took that as his way of acknowledging her and that he was listening, but her mouth couldn’t get the words out.

It wasn’t that hard. Maybe it was his nearness, his gentle touch. Maybe it was just him, everything that embodied who he was. She continued on.

“The Shikon no Tama is almost complete.”

Sesshoumaru and Kagome had talked about very personal and intimate topics before and she was always surprised at how easy those conversations were. But now that she wanted to broach the idea of asking Sesshoumaru to join their traveling party to find the remainder of the shards, she couldn’t get the words out.

“Indeed,” he murmured.

She sighed as Sesshoumaru slipped a finger under the neck of her haneri .  Kagome’s head fell to the side, exposing her neck. Her hand found its way to his thigh, gripping the silk that covered his strong muscles underneath.

His fingers traveled to the nape of her neck. Her breathing hitched at the sensation. Her eyes closed, concentrating on the feeling of those deathly sharp poisonous claws playing her like a koto right now. He removed his fingers and removed the comb that was holding her hair in its bun. Her black hair cascaded down her back. Sesshoumaru leaned forward, dipping his head down to her neck and inhaling deeply, taking her scent deep into his being.

She expected him to stop what he was doing to look at her and join her in the discussion. Instead, what she got was the inudaiyoukai of the Western Lands placing open mouthed kisses along her neck where his claw had just traced. Her hands moved to his shoulders to steady herself.

“Ally with us,” she blurted out, fighting through the haze in her mind that he was creating. She felt like they really needed to discuss it, especially since they would be leaving soon. But he was really making it hard for her to form a coherent thought.

He pulled back from her neck. “Am I not already more than an ally to you, Kagome?” he asked, his smooth baritone dropped in timbre.

His question made her realize that his opinion mattered to her.

What he thought about her…how he felt about her mattered.

Whatever this was that was developing between them mattered.

Kagome smiled at him. It was the first time that something tangible between them had been defined in their years of acquaintance.

“You are. We are, but I want you to travel with us…with me . Inuyasha and the others will fight me on it, but I don’t want to do this without you. But, I mean, if you don’t want to, then-.”

He placed his thumb over her mouth to cut her off. “Kagome,” he said, “I will stay by your side as long as you wish me to be.”

Before she could respond, his lips crashed down on hers. She gasped in surprise and he went in for the kill, deepening the kiss with such fervor that she had never experienced with him before.

There had been cuddling and nuzzling. They shared kisses, but they were chaste signs of unspoken affection between them. They would hug each other and touch here and there, exploring each other’s personal space without crossing boundaries.

But this kiss was different than any they’d ever shared. There was a fire and a passion that she knew Sesshoumaru could be capable of, but she had never seen before. Ever . And she loved every bit of it. She matched his intensity, sliding her tongue past his lips. The moment her tongue met his, he sought to dominate her mouth until she melted against him in submission.

In the back of her mind, she could remember Kaede’s words when she first learned that she had the holy powers of a miko.

What sets a miko apart is her purity: purity of mind, of spirit, of heart, and of body.

There was nothing pure about that kiss.

It was primal . It was animalistic .

And Kagome wanted more of it.

Yes, she was greedy and selfish indeed.

Chapter Text

Chapter 3

Sesshoumaru, Kagome, and Jaken left Kokura Village at dawn the following morning. All were satisfied with the arrangements for Rin’s care. Kagome couldn’t help the pride that she felt when she found that Sesshoumaru was extremely pleased with Kaoru, the miko who had taken in Rin. Jaken made sure to remind the girl that by studying hard and doing well in her lessons, she would make their Sesshoumaru-sama extremely proud. Kagome had left the girl with a hug and a promise to visit as soon as possible.

Rin, as expected, burst into tears when saying her goodbyes and demanding promises of visits as soon as they were able. Jaken wailed as he threw his arms around Rin. Even Sesshoumaru put his arm around Rin in an embrace that the girl had never received from him before. The emotional display had Kagome fighting back her own tears.

Once they left the bounds of Kokura Village, Sesshoumaru lifted Kagome onto Ah-Un’s back before settling her backpack over his shoulder and climbing behind her. He wrapped his arms around her as Jaken sat in front and took the dragon’s reins with instructions to start heading back towards the village of Edo.

The flight on Ah-Un’s back was more unsettling than Kagome had anticipated. The movement made her feel as though she was riding a horse that was walking on a floating, moving carousel. Maybe it was the unfamiliar way in which she was traveling that made her more sensitive, but the weird vibrating in her soul seemed to push its way closer to the surface and along her nerves. On top of both of those, the air had more of a chill than she expected. As she shivered, Sesshoumaru drew his mokomoko around her and held her closer.

They traveled like that for four days: Kagome between Sesshoumaru and Jaken and  wrapped in Sesshoumaru’s arms and mokomoko. They would travel well into the night and only stopped long enough for Kagome to get a few hours of sleep, then they were up early again to cover more ground.  Sleep came to her easily as she got accustomed to the different feelings and sensations, but she was more than happy when they stopped for the night. Needless to say, she would rest that much easier once she was back on solid ground. Her body simply wasn’t made for that kind of intense traveling.

Just before dusk on the fourth day, Jaken directed Ah-Un downward. Kagome gripped Sesshoumaru’s arms that were around her waist as they rode out the descent. In short order, Ah-Un landed in a small clearing near a stream. Once her feet touched dirt, she raised her arms over her head and stretched her body as far as she could. She couldn’t help the moan that reflexively escaped her lips. It felt wonderful being in Sesshoumaru’s arms during their journey, but four days of traveling like they had was exhausting on its own.

Kagome retrieved her bag from where Sesshoumaru had left it beside Ah-Un. Jaken had already left and returned with an armful of sticks to start a fire.

“Kagome-sama,” Sesshoumaru’s retainer addressed her, “there is a hot spring nearby if my lady would like to freshen up. While you’re gone, I’ll start preparing your meal!”

She made a show of looking herself over and checking for odors. “Do I really smell that bad, Jaken?”

The kappa sputtered as he struggled for a response. He threw himself onto the ground into a bow.

“N-No! Not at all, Kagome-s-sama! I mean, I know how much my lady enjoys bathing, and well, I thought, you know, I was thinking…!”

Kagome giggled and knelt down to him, placing a hand on top of his head. “I’m sorry, Jaken. I was only teasing. I would love a bath right now. I truly appreciate it.” Jaken rose to his feet and she could have sworn she saw a tiny bit of a blush staining his green nose. She asked him, “Are you sure you don’t want any help, though?”

“No, no! All is well in hand, I assure you,” he insisted, shooing her away. “Go, enjoy your bath, Kagome-sama! The hot spring is not that far from us to the north. Dinner should be ready for my lady upon your return!”

She stood and studied the diminutive retainer. The way he had taken to formally addressing her and provided meals for her, while not unpleasant, was definitely unexpected. Even when they were in the village for those couple of days, Jaken made sure her food was prepared and a bath was ready for her before she even left the room and then insisted on cleaning up behind her when she went to lay back down.

The old Kagome would have insisted on helping Jaken with everything and would have even tried to block his deference towards her. When she traveled with Inuyasha and the others, they would pitch in occasionally, but there was usually some kind of excuse for them to slack off. Inuyasha would make sure that she didn’t forget that she was just the Shard Detector and they did most of the work.

At the end of the day, it would usually be Kagome that would make sure that fire was prepared, food was caught, food was cooked, food was eaten, dishes were washed, and so on. A lot of times, she would just simply be too tired to just take time to herself and she would end up sleeping in her clothes.

Now that someone else was taking it upon themselves to prepare the camp for the night, it really took a load off of her. She couldn’t deny the fact that she liked it. It made her feel like she was special.

Like she was worth it . 

Kagome looked over her shoulder and raised an eyebrow in question at Sesshoumaru, who simply flipped his hair over his shoulder in response. That was a sign that no answers or suggestions were going to be forthcoming from his direction. She shook her head with a smile and collected her items before starting off in the direction of the hot spring.

Kagome washed quickly in the stream, before completely undressing and settling into the warm water of the natural spring. She heaved a sigh as she leaned against a rock. Her muscles melted in the warmth. It even seemed that the pulsing in her soul relaxed into a massage along her nerves.

According to Sesshoumaru, they would be at Edo Village by tomorrow. She truly didn’t know what to expect. Kagome was certain that the Inutachi would try to make her feel guilty, especially considering the way she had walked away from the group to join Sesshoumaru. The others didn’t know why she left with the inudaiyoukai and it was certainly not her place to enlighten them. If Sesshoumaru wanted them to know his business, then he could tell him.

Sesshoumaru was now a part of their group and she was pretty certain that they would fight her about it, especially Inuyasha. There had already been plenty of arguments in favor of having his assistance, the least of which she would have someone there who supported her. She was quite sure, however, that she would be the only one to see the merit in that.

There were two negatives that Kagome had mulled over in regards to Sesshoumaru traveling with them that she could foresee. The first one was Inuyasha’s jealousy in regards to not being the center of everyone’s attention. The other was the possibility that Sesshoumaru might be the one to beat Inuyasha with getting the kill for the last of the shards or Naraku. Or both.

At least with Sesshoumaru being there with her, she would be able to share the burden of the duty and responsibility that had been placed, nay, forced , upon her. He knew what it was like to be burdened with obligation and duty. Ever since his father died and he became the new Lord of the Western Lands, his life revolved around duty and responsibility. The difference between the two of them was the fact that Sesshoumaru had training early in his life in regards to his duty.

Kagome didn’t have that luxury.

If it could even be considered as such.

Her mind went back to Kokura Village and the intimate time they shared. The way he touched her, kissed her, was different from any other time before. Sesshoumaru was a being of few words. She was okay with that. She didn’t need words. Every action that the daiyoukai took was with purpose. She felt everything that he didn’t need to say when they crossed that boundary. She knew she didn’t imagine the way he felt about her. She also couldn’t deny that she craved what he was offering her, the unspoken hopes and expectations that had been laid bare between them.

She wanted to feel it again.

She wanted to experience it again.

But it wasn’t the right time.

Kagome shook her head, trying to clear her head and heart from thoughts of him. There was just too much that she had on her plate, not the least of which was the completion of the Shikon no Tama and finding out about this sensation that she’d been dealing with the last several months. She hated the idea of being duty bound as the Guardian of the Shikon no Tama.

Her first order of business was to have the jewel completed. It could have been just one shard left or there could be several. She simply didn’t know. But the sooner it was done, the sooner her obligation to the Shikon would be complete and the sooner she could move on to other matters.

She needed to start with what she did know. There was something else about the vibrating that had been pulsing through her. She couldn’t shake the feeling that it was related to the Shikon no Tama, but she was clueless as to how. It was a given that she kept the Shikon no Tama with her at all times. At present, it was down in her bag.

The pulsing occurred at different times and at odd intervals. At first, it crossed her mind that it reflected her different moods and feelings but she found that it wasn’t necessarily the case. She was relaxed in the hot spring and the pulsing had slowed, almost like a heartbeat. It felt like it was deep within her soul, soft but still present. There were other times when it was closer to the surface, vibrating along her nerves as if something had invaded her body and was trying to escape. That particular feeling unnerved her. 

She didn’t think that a shrine would give her the answers she was looking for. The various houshi and miko at the shrines the shard hunting group had visited during their travels did not have extensive libraries. In fact, they only had a few written scrolls and no tomes at all, so Kagome could hardly even call their small collection a library. If there was any place that could have the information, any information, that she needed, they would have to be a youkai library.

Her mind drifted back to Sesshoumaru again. She knew from their discussions that he had an extensive library. Apparently, a great-great-grandfather of his spent much of his leisure time reading and had started the collection of tomes and scrolls that he currently has at his shiro. Naturally, the desire to stay up to date with current ideas and thoughts passed through his line and each subsequent generation had added to the collection.

She certainly was not going to invite herself to his shiro. She was confident that Sesshoumaru would invite her there to see his home after the Shikon no Tama was completed, especially now that she didn’t have anywhere else to go. Truthfully, she had a feeling that he would expect her to live there with him. But the last thing that Kagome wanted to do was to impose on Sesshoumaru.

Kouga was the leader of the Yoro Ookami clan in the East, and she knew for certain that his clan did not have a library at all. Not a single tome, scroll, or even a scrap of parchment, for that matter. Additionally, the idea of subjecting herself to his constant “ You’re my woman ” nonsense, despite the fact that he had married and mated Ayame and even if it was in jest for old time’s sake, made her ditch that thought all together.

Unfortunately, she was not acquainted with either the Northern or Southern Lords. According to Sesshoumaru, Morinaga of the Southern Lands was his long standing ally, so she was confident that he would welcome her with open arms as Sesshoumaru’s companion. The Northern Lord, Tsuchimikado, Kagome was less certain about. Sesshoumaru didn’t speak ill of him, but he certainly didn’t express much enthusiasm when he schooled her on youkai politics. But then again, Sesshoumaru didn’t express much enthusiasm for anything.

Unless he was kissing her.

Or touching her.

Or holding her.

Then he told her everything that he couldn’t, or wouldn’t, say with words.

Realizing that she was smiling as she thought about him again, she removed the thought from her mind with a sigh. As much as she adored and craved his attention, she had to stay focused.

Maybe after they returned to Edo, or maybe when they were on the road again and traveling for another shard, she would bring up her desire to see his library. She could imagine him practically insisting, in his very Sesshoumaru-like manner, that she cease with her thoughts of being a burden and accompany him to his home where she belonged.

Finally, she put thoughts of the Shikon and Sesshoumaru out of her mind and enjoyed the rest of her private time, allowing her eyes to close as she drifted off into a light slumber. She didn’t doze for very long as her stomach started to protest from being empty. The aroma of meat cooking from the camp was getting difficult to ignore and it was tempting enough to pull her from the cocoon of the warm water of the spring. She dried and dressed herself in a light yukata before making her way back to the camp.

When she stepped into the camp, she found that a blanket had already been laid on the ground. Sesshoumaru sat on one side of the blanket with his armor removed. He had left plenty of room for her to sit beside him. She saw the invitation for what it was and joined him. Once she sat down, she took a cord and bound her still wet hair into a low ponytail. Jaken had already removed the meat from the fire and had handed her a plate with roasted mushrooms and assorted berries that he had foraged. She thanked the kappa with a bow of her head and began eating.

“Was the hot spring to my lady’s liking?” Jaken asked.

Kagome grinned. “I enjoyed it immensely. Thank you, Jaken.” The retainer bowed low, pleased with her response. “If you’re not careful,” she continued, “you’ll have me so spoiled that I may have to take you from Sesshoumaru.”

Jaken’s eyes widened fractionally as he shot his master a quick glance in reflex. He regained his composure and busied himself with moving her belongings to the side with Sesshoumaru’s. He stated lightly, “If it pleases my lady, I should be delighted to have gained a mistress instead.”

Kagome’s mouth hung open, unsure of how to respond. It was a response she certainly did not expect the retainer to make, and he had worded it in a way that could mean one of two things. However, she did not press the issue any further, filing it away to revisit at a later time.

Once she had eaten her fill, she felt tiredness creep up on her. The traveling and light sleep from the last few days was catching up to her. This was another reason why she was ready to be done with the entire business of the Shikon no Tama.

She was in dire need of a break.

Kagome laid down beside him as he settled his mokomoko on top of her. She tried to chat with him, mostly about his thoughts of Kokura Village and how he felt about leaving Rin behind, but as soon as he started answering her questions, the low timbre of his baritone had lulled her to sleep.

Kagome’s eyes snapped open as she felt the familiar tingle that had eluded them for over a year. At first, she was groggy, so she couldn’t have been asleep for very long, but she sat up immediately as Sesshoumaru stepped past her, drawing Bakusaiga from its scabbard. 

“It’s a shard,” she whispered, standing beside him.

His eyes were transfixed on something within the trees.

She knew that he couldn’t detect the shard like she could, but all of his other senses were trained on something in the darkness regardless. She wasn’t able to see what it was, but she waited. Soon, a kid stepped forward into the light of the campfire and Kagome let out a gasp.

It was Kohaku, Sango’s younger brother.

The poor boy had died years ago, but he was being kept alive by a shard in his back, placed there by Naraku to use him as a puppet. Kagome felt sorry for the child as she knew of the burden the boy was experiencing. Kohaku was haunted by shame and self-loathing because of his deeds while under Naraku’s influence.

Technically, he was still dead. The boy didn’t age at all since Kagome first met him five years ago, but he still held the memories, the grief, and the guilt of the slaughter of his taijiya clan, including his parents, in addition to the deaths of all of those who fell by his hand since he came under Naraku’s control.

Kagome noticed that Sesshoumaru kept his golden eyes trained on the boy, subtly shifting further in front of her. The chain of Kohaku’s kusarigama softly jingled from his back as he stopped several feet in front of them. His eyes shifted from Kagome to Sesshoumaru and back.

“Kagome,” Kohaku said. His voice broke and his shoulders slumped forward, almost as though he was relieved to see her. He had been crying. “Kagome, please, help me.”

Kagome started to step out from behind Sesshoumaru, but he held up his free hand, barring her from approaching Kohaku. Bakusaiga was in the Western Lord’s right hand, his posture stiff, as he was ready to strike the kid down in an instant. She didn’t have to see Sesshoumaru’s face to know that he was on high alert. It didn’t matter if the boy was a familiar face or not. Having a shard, especially one placed there by Naraku himself, immediately classified Kohaku as a threat that Sesshoumaru would not hesitate to eliminate.

“Kohaku, what happened?” she asked from behind Sesshoumaru, her concern for the boy was evident.

He collapsed to his knees, in defeat and hanging his head down. Tears fell from his face. “Make it stop, Kagome, please, I beg you!”

Kagome gazed up at Sesshoumaru, but his hard gaze was fixed on Kohaku. She gently placed a hand on his arm. Sesshoumaru didn’t look at her, but he dropped his arm to allow her to approach the boy. He lowered Bakusaiga, but he did not sheath it. Kagome held her hand out to Kohaku, helping him to his feet and led him closer to the campfire. Once they sat down,  Kohaku leaned into her, seeking comfort.

“Are you hurt?” She reached for a silk handkerchief that was in her bag and started to wipe away the tears from his face. He nodded against her shoulder.

“I can see them. I hear them. I can’t take this any more,” he moaned. Kagome took the child’s hand, patting it in comfort. “Sango wants me to live, but I’m not alive. I can’t do it myself because Naraku won’t let me go. Please, Kagome, please …I don’t want to do this anymore. I can’t do this anymore.”

Kagome felt her heart sink as she encircled him in an embrace. The child returned it, burying his face in her chest. Sobs wracked his frame, the anguish and pain radiating from him spoke volumes.

She understood all too well that Sango was glad to have her brother back, even if it was by unnatural means. Sango had always been adamant that they would not kill Kohaku under any circumstance. However, Kagome could not help but to think that Sango was being selfish, thinking about what only she wanted. The other woman was forcing an unnatural life upon someone who did not want to be alive simply because she couldn’t let go.

There was nothing that Kagome had been able to say to Sango to change her mind about releasing Kohaku from his nightmare. Kohaku was being used to kill. He knew it because he had to relive all of his horrible memories day after day. And Sango’s refusal to let him go was just as cruel as what Naraku was doing to him.

He was being tortured at the hands of someone he loved and someone he hated.

Even now, he was acting against the commands of his puppetmaster to seek reprieve from the only one who could truly understand what he was experiencing and who could help him. Kagome knew it was dangerous to keep Kohaku in their camp, but she couldn’t turn him away, not in this state. For now, he was lucid, which meant that Naraku’s attention was turned elsewhere.

And if Naraku realized exactly who Kohaku was with at this moment…

It would only be a matter of time before the kumo hanyou stepped in to take control of the boy again.

The boy turned watery but vacant brown eyes towards her. It was as though his gaze was stuck inward, replaying all of the deaths and hearing all of the screams of those that had fallen by his hand.

“Please, Kagome,” he pleaded. “Please take my shard. I know what will happen. I just wish that Sango could understand that I just…I can’t do this anymore.”

Kagome’s heart went out to the child. She cupped his cheek and placed a kiss on his forehead. “Everything will be alright, Kohaku.”

He started crying again as she held him. His arms tightened around her, drawing as much comfort from her as he could get. She smoothed down his hair and rocked him, as if she was a mother comforting her distressed child.  Eventually, his sobs died down, but he refused to let go of her. Jaken handed Kagome a cup of chamomile tea he had prepared in the process, and she managed to coax him to drink it. Once Kohaku drank it all, she helped him to lie down in her blanket. She stayed beside him, stroking his hair as he eventually drifted off to sleep.

Kagome stared absently into the fire as she pondered her options.

Kohaku was offering his shard, or more accurately, he was begging Kagome to remove it. It was the shard in his back that was keeping him alive. If she removed it, then he would die for good. She knew the day would come when she would have to reclaim the shard as it would be needed to complete the Shikon no Tama. No matter how it was done, the end result would be the same. Still, she did not want to be responsible for Kohaku’s death.

Kohaku not only knew and accepted the end result. He longed for it.

She had always hoped that it could be done in a different way.

Kagome knew that retrieving the shard and Kohaku’s final demise would seriously affect Sango. There would be tears and there would be grief. But it also meant that Sango was going to be very angry with her. There was hardly anything left of their friendship, but Kagome knew that any feelings of camaraderie would cease to exist between them if Kagome were to grant Kohaku’s wish.

She already knew that Sango would not listen to reason when it came to Kohaku. Maybe it was guilt, maybe it was shame, maybe it was an unhealthy obsession with her deceased younger brother.

Kagome had a younger brother of her own. She knew that if the same thing had happened to Souta, she would have been just as upset. If she was faced with the same dilemma regarding her own brother, she, too, would have been angry or sad or depressed, or a combination of the three. 

All Kagome wanted to do right now was to cry. This was another unavoidable burden, part of her duty as the Guardian of the Shikon no Tama. She did not want to have to make this decision. This was the kind of situation where she knew she could not let her emotions get the best of her.

There were two ways she could resolve this.

Both solutions were distasteful to her.

She could give Kohaku some kind of sleeping aid and have Sesshoumaru remove the shard from his back. The only problem with that option was that she didn’t know how far down the shard truly was. She could sense it. The shard was right in the middle of his back and it was tainted. She knew that the shard would have the same smoky quartz look that the rest of the Shikon no Tama was starting to look like.

However, she did not know if the shard was right under the surface of his skin or if it was deeper within his body. If the shard was right under the surface, that would have made it a little bit easier. It would be just a matter of taking a knife, lancing the skin right at the shard and popping it out. They could do it while he was sleeping and it would be a peaceful end for a child with a tortured soul.

But, if she approached it from Naraku’s perspective, the shard would be embedded far deeper to prevent it from easily being removed, even by Kohaku himself. That was why he said that Naraku would not allow him to take his own life. Naraku had control of the boy's limbs, so even if Kohaku wanted to throw himself from a cliff, Naraku would stop him. Or at the very least, he would just reanimate after hitting the bottom…even if the fall reduced him to nothing more than a bag of broken bones.

Another option was to just leave Kohaku alone. Once they collected the rest of the shards, they would confront Naraku. With the kumo hanyou dead, the boy should be relinquished from his master’s control. She knew that would be the option that Sango, Miroku, and Inuyasha would try to convince her to take. The Shikon no Tama would remain incomplete, therefore extending Kagome’s duty as the Guardian, but Sango would have her brother. Sango would want Kohaku to live with her and she would take care of him.

The hard thing to explain to the others was that the boy would still only live half a life. He was already dead, so they would condemn Kohaku to walk the earth, forever tormented by his guilt, shame, and self-hatred. Kohaku would not be able to age and he would not be able to move on. He would live eternally as an eleven year old boy. To Kagome, that idea was worse than the death he was asking for and far more cruel than what he’s currently experiencing.

She chewed her bottom lip as she tried to come to a decision. She was going to have to end his life and retrieve the shard. It was the only way, the humane way, to deal with this situation. The others may end up becoming her enemies, but she was prepared for that.

Make the choices that are right for you and damn the consequences.

Sesshoumaru’s voice echoed in her mind. She looked up at him from across the fire, where he still stood, his senses on high alert to step in when necessary. Their eyes met and his gaze helped to strengthen her resolve. She already knew what the correct choice was. She just had to do it.

She just didn’t want to do it right then.

Sesshoumaru held his hand out to her, beckoning her closer. Kagome stood from where she was sitting beside Kohaku. She walked to him, taking his hand and they both sat down across the fire from the boy. Wordlessly, Kagome wrapped her arms around Sesshoumaru, taking the same comfort from him that Kohaku had received from her. She sighed as he returned the embrace. She knew that she did not need to tell him what was going through her mind. He had known her long enough to be able to read her thoughts and emotions.

“Tomorrow.”

She knew what he meant.

No more fretting about it tonight and they would see what the morrow would bring.

Kagome snuggled deeper into his arms, trying to get as close to him as she physically could. She knew that he understood her need for comfort at this moment as he left Bakusaiga on the ground beside him and tightened his arms around her.

She awakened after a couple of hours to Sesshoumaru’s body nearly covering hers and the sound of steel against steel splitting the silence of the night. Opening her eyes, Sesshoumaru held Bakusaiga up over their heads, blocking Kohaku’s kama . He deftly pushed the boy backwards, control in all of his movements so as not to injure Kagome.

Kagome pushed back just enough to signal to Sesshoumaru that she was awake. His hold slackened so she could slide out away from him. Jaken immediately jumped in front of her with his Nintojo, ready to protect her if necessary. Now that she was out of the way, Sesshoumaru could focus his attention on his opponent.

Kohaku was crying as he tried to lunge past Sesshoumaru to strike at Kagome again.

“Kagome!” he wailed. “Kagome, I’m sorry!”

His actions didn’t match his words as he tried to take another swing at her. Sesshoumaru parried the child’s move. She could tell that he was not trying to kill Kohaku, but he did advance on the boy enough to keep them both a safe distance away from Kagome.

“Kohaku,” she started.

“I wanted to hold him back, but I can’t!” he said, apologetically. His tone was begging to Kagome to understand, fat tears rolled from his nearly vacant eyes. “I can’t stop him! Please! Please help me!”

Naraku was currently controlling the boy’s movements in a frantic attempt to take advantage of the opportunity to kill Kagome. Finding that there was no way around Sesshoumaru, the undead taijiya changed targets to the youkai Lord that was effortlessly blocking each of his moves. The boy skillfully swung his kama, a flurry of slashes that would have outmaneuvered any other opponent. He was struggling to get any kind of opening against Sesshoumaru. As he kept fighting, Kohaku started talking faster as if he knew his time was running out.

“He’s in hiding, Kagome!” Kohaku exclaimed.

“Where, Kohaku? Where is he? What do you know?” Kagome stepped a little closer, her heart racing.

“Um…uh…” he stammered. His words trailed off as he spun his kama over his head before launching it at Sesshoumaru. The daiyoukai simply raised Bakusaiga and deflected it, the instrument dropping to the dirt with dull thunk.

“Kohaku, I need you to try and concentrate,” Kagome instructed. Maybe if she could keep him talking, it could slow him down or at least distract his mind from focusing on the fact that he was attacking those who provided him with hospitality during the night. “Please, tell us what you know. If it’s anything at all, no matter how small, you would still have a hand in helping us bring him down.”

The fundo at the end of his kusarigama was spinning over his head this time. The rotation was blindingly fast. “Uh, there’s an island, I think. Beyond the Northern Lands.” 

They had spent most of the spring and all of the summer months scouring the Northern Lands for shards. She had detected Kohaku’s shard as soon as he was within range, so if Naraku was truly in the North, how could they have missed him? They had missed something…unless they were looking in the wrong location. It was likely that Kohaku didn’t know anything more as she assumed that Naraku would keep his minions in the dark.

Kohaku punctuated his statement with the release of his chain, the fundo flying straight at Sesshoumaru. The weight at the end of the chain wrapped around Sesshoumaru’s arm at the wrist. The daiyoukai frowned at it as the child hopelessly pulled on it. He switched Bakusaiga to his other hand as he gave the chain a quick jerk and the boy fell to his knees in the dirt. Sesshoumaru shook the chain off of his wrist before switching Bakusaiga back to his sword hand. He glared down at the child, shifting his hold on his sword. He took a menacing step towards Kohaku.

“You withheld this information.”

“I-I didn’t know!” Kohaku said, his eyes widened in fright as he shrank back from the intimidating daiyoukai.

Kagome spoke up. “Kohaku…”

“I swear, Kagome! Please believe me!” he pleaded. “I-I think he was…he was talking to somebody else when he came to me! Before he realized where I was!”

Kohaku was on his feet in an instant, swiping at Sesshoumaru again with the kama. Each swing of his weapon grew more frantic and erratic. They were all expertly blocked by Sesshoumaru, but they left the boy vulnerable. Sesshoumaru seized the opening and grabbed him by the neck with his free hand. Naraku in Kohaku’s body started thrashing wildly in Sesshoumaru’s hold.

Kohaku turned dimly lit brown eyes towards Kagome. Kohaku spoke softly, his voice shaking with the erratic movement of Naraku trying to free himself from Sesshoumaru. The words and actions were in stark contrast to each other.

“Please tell Sango I’m sorry and that I love her.” The boy then looked at Sesshoumaru with fat tears rolling down his face, and pleaded. “Please, Sesshoumaru-sama…please…”

Without a word, Sesshoumaru nodded and stabbed Bakusaiga into the ground before he reached out with his free hand, grabbing the boy by his head. With a flick of the wrist, Kohaku’s neck was broken and his small body went limp, the kusarigama dropped to the ground. Sesshoumaru started lowering his arm to place the body on the ground before a swirl of dark energy formed around Kohaku’s back.

As the body tried to reanimate, Sesshoumaru dropped to one knee, turning the Kohaku over his knee as if he was going to punish the child. Working quickly and with purpose, Sesshoumaru cut open the back of the boy’s taijiya garb and summoned poison into his fingertips before he plunged a finger into Kohaku’s back.

Kagome fought back tears as the undead child screamed in agony. Kagome watched as Sesshoumaru carefully searched for the shard. After what seemed like a long time, but was only a few seconds, he started to retract his finger, bringing the shard with it. As soon as the shard was free of Kohaku’s back, the boy’s screaming stopped suddenly and his body went limp for good.

Kagome was at Sesshoumaru’s side in an instant as he reached out to drop the shard in her waiting hands. Using more of his poison, he cauterized the wound he had just created and carried the boy’s body back to the fire. Kagome sat beside Kohaku, gently smoothing out his hair. If there was ever a time she was more grateful to Sesshoumaru, this was it.

She opened her bag and removed the Shikon no Tama. She placed the recently recovered shard into the small empty section, watching as it fused together. Her eyes were transfixed on the glowing swirls of dark and pure energies. To her surprise, the energies seemed to be balanced, an equal amount of both dark and pure. Despite being tainted, the Jewel seemed to radiate with a warmth that she didn’t notice before. The pulsing in her soul, which was humming in the background, seemed to change its rhythm to match the warmth from the Jewel.

Kagome shouldn’t shake the fact that they were related, but she simply didn’t know how. She didn’t know what it meant. The sooner she could unravel the mystery, no matter what it was, she knew she would start feeling better about it.

At least there was only one more shard to retrieve and they now knew where to look for it.

Naraku had the audacity to try and attack her and Sesshoumaru had protected her, saving her life. Kohaku managed to give them both a major piece of the puzzle that they needed. As for the shard, she was relieved that Sesshoumaru was the one that retrieved it. She had killed another before, but only either in self-defense or for food. But to willfully take the life of another person in order to gain something was something she had never done before, but she would have if she really needed to.

She was relieved that it did not come to that.

Sesshoumaru approached her quietly. She looked at him and he touched her cheek with the back of his fingers before he walked away from the camp and into the darkness. As she watched his retreating back, Jaken pressed a cup of tea in her hand.

“Here you are, Kagome-sama,” he said, “it’ll help calm your nerves.”

She thanked him, drawing her knees up to her chest as she sipped her tea.

“Worry not,” he said, “Sesshoumaru-sama will return shortly.”

Kagome smiled, grateful for his company. Her nerves were shot, but without Sesshoumaru, she couldn’t see herself falling back asleep tonight. Kagome went back to the opposite side of the fire where she had been sitting with Sesshoumaru. Lying down, she curled in on herself as the night’s events settled within her mind. It started with a couple of tears, but she was powerless to stop the flow.

She cried for the boy whose life was taken from him, who was damned for a time to relive his nightmares day after day. A boy who would never grow up to be a man, and to experience a full life of his own.

She cried for the woman whose little brother was killed and then desecrated for years, to serve as a pawn of another. A woman who only wanted the best for her sibling, the only family she had left, even if he wasn’t alive any longer.

She cried for the family that she had left behind because of her duty to recover the final shards of the Shikon no Tama. For her grandfather, whose wild stories didn’t seem so outrageous anymore. For her brother, with whom she couldn’t bicker over the most trivial stuff nor cheer on at his soccer games. For her mother, who loved her and believed in her more than anyone else in the world.

Strong arms banded around her and held her close as she sobbed, her face buried in his chest. She held onto his hankimono like a lifeline, the relief that he had been there to not just protect her, but to complete the unsavory task of retrieving the jewel. That feeling only added to the raw emotions that went against what it meant to be a miko that she had tried so hard to bottle up.

A large hand rubbed soothingly along her back and, at length, her sobs quieted. As she fell asleep in his arms, she realized that despite releasing so many emotions, she did not have any regrets. The last lingering emotion that she had was only gratitude for the sacrifice that Kohaku had made to put them one step closer to completing the Shikon no Tama.

Chapter Text

Chapter 4

Sesshoumaru looked down at the sleeping miko beside him. She had cried off and on ever since the unfortunate incident with Kohaku hours before. The sun had been in the sky for at least a couple of hours by the time Kagome’s aura had settled down enough to finally allow her to have some undisturbed sleep. He wanted to start breaking camp so they could leave, but he was loathed to wake her.

He turned, looking for Jaken to instruct him to have breakfast ready for her, but the kappa had already left. While he did not verbally acknowledge or call Jaken out on it, Sesshoumaru had noticed long ago that his retainer’s thinly veiled hostility towards the miko vanished very early in their acquaintance with Kagome.

He was sure that Jaken’s prejudice toward Kagome was not because she was human but it was because of her reiki, the antithesis to their jyaki. By all intents and purposes, she was supposed to be their natural enemy. Their kind was not supposed to be ensnared by her. Youkai were supposed to stay with their own kind and humans, especially those who possessed reiki, were supposed to stay with theirs.

Jaken came in through the woods with Ah-Un, a deer suspended in one of the two-headed dragon’s mouths. Wordlessly, Jaken made sure the fire blazed strong before setting out to clean the deer.

Jaken’s prejudice had morphed into a devotion that rivaled what he bestowed upon Sesshoumaru himself. Even Rin, whom Jaken had nearly single-handedly raised, did not receive the kind of devotion and loyalty that he showed Kagome.

Sesshoumaru looked down as Kagome shifted beside him. He pulled his mokomoko up further onto her shoulders and brushed a stray hair from her face.

Out of seemingly nowhere, the loud, strange, clumsy teenager transformed into a strong-willed, powerful, resilient woman who came in like a whirlwind. She tore up the unwritten book of codes and rules that the people from their era had been taught since time immemorial and turned all of their lives upside down.

Especially his own.

When Sesshoumaru first crossed paths with Kagome when she was a fifteen year old girl, he barely gave her a second glance. It wasn’t that he didn’t find her pretty or anything of the sort. Yes, she appeared to be infatuated with his brother, but that wasn’t any of his business.

His interaction with her directly during the first two years were few and far between. His brother’s brashness put his companions in danger more often than not. Fortunately, they were all of the same goal, so Sesshoumaru had been nearby to offer his aid when they had crossed paths several times.

Sesshoumaru had to admit that he did prioritize Kagome’s safety over any of the other’s. At the time, he really didn’t know why. She was a slight little thing then and she was a liability. She had some power when they met, but it was soon obvious that she neither knew about her abilities before she came to this time nor did anyone take the time to explain it to her. Her companions did not take the time to teach her anything; it was obvious that she was, to use one of Kagome’s expressions, winging it. How she managed to survive this long with such a concept beyond his comprehension.

It was around year three when their groups had crossed paths again that he could really see what was going on.

Kagome was unhappy. He could sense sadness, but he mainly sensed frustration and anger as the dominant emotions that emanated from her. Every time their traveling groups crossed paths, what she was feeling was more and more palpable.

He didn’t know if it was to spite Inuyasha or despite his half-brother, but Kagome would also take those times to go out of her way to include himself in their activities when they set up camp for the night.

That was when their conversations had begun.

Even before she revealed her true origins to him, Kagome had proved that she was different from her companions. She was unconventional and strange, daring and bold.

But she was brilliant and educated.

It was refreshing to be able to have substantial conversations with another individual. Not only was she liberal with her questions, but she also encouraged and indulged his insatiable curiosity in return. It was during those conversations where he got to see the Kagome that her companions overlooked and vastly undervalued.

Her values were shaped by the era she had grown up in and by her family. While those values would be foreign concepts to the populace in this era, it also set her apart because of the breadth of her compassion for all living creatures, youkai or not.

Kagome never brought up his brother or any of her other companions during their conversations. If he was curious about them, he would ask and she would answer, but that was the extent of it. And he was fine with that because, much more quickly than he had ever anticipated, he found that he wanted her to himself.

While traveling, Sesshoumaru would constantly wonder, hope, that he would see her again. But as their conversations grew more in depth, the length longer, and the topics more intimate, he started to actively seek her out.

The distance between them kept getting shorter as they grew more familiar with each other. She had initiated their first contact, throwing her arms around him after a particularly stressful incident they had dealt with not long before their rendezvous. He had closed his arms around her, reveling in the feel of her arms around him while also giving her the comfort she longed for.

That was when he started to bring her gifts.

At first, they were small items, like jewelry, that she could keep with her at all times, if she chose to. However, as they grew closer, he wanted to make sure she was provided for at all times. He gifted her the black lacquered shakuhachi, simply because she wanted one, and several kimonos as she had expressed her disdain for the traditional miko attire.

Just because I have reiki doesn’t mean I need to conform to what everyone else thinks I should be, she had said, indignantly.

Sesshoumaru looked down at the sleeping woman beside him. Even though neither of them said the words, he instinctively knew deep within himself that Kagome felt the same way for him that he felt for her. Although he was the one that advanced their relationship, crossing that unspoken line when he kissed her, he had not yet vocally expressed that he wished to court her.

He wanted to. He wanted her.

He wanted her to abandon this fool quest. He wanted to take her to his home and lavish her with love and attention, to make her his Lady, his partner, his mate . Kagome would not want for anything, be it either material items or affection. The Bone-Eater’s Well made sure that she would not be able to see her family again, but he wanted to give her a family, pups and all.

With him. And then with hers when she was bound to him.

But it just wasn’t the right time yet.

Sesshoumaru knew that Kagome had a lot on her mind and it was a heavy burden for her to bear. Retrieving the last of the shards, the tainting of the Shikon no Tama, and the sensations that she had described to him that neither of them had an answer for were all obstacles that they needed to overcome. So he would be there for her, helping her as much as he could and he would wait as long as he needed to.

For her. For them.

~~~~~~~~~~

Jaken checked on Ah-Un as the two-headed dragon turned the haunch of venison constantly over the fire, making sure the meat was cooked evenly for their Lady.

It was a pity about the human boy, but it served him right for trying to attack his Lady in the middle of the night and abusing her kindness!

Nevermind the fact that he was a puppet of that vile kumo hanyou!

Jaken had stayed up all night, keeping an eye on his Lord and Lady. He was glad that his Lord had been there to protect her in the night. Although his Nintojo would always be ready to defend her at a moment’s notice, he would never presume to take his Lord’s place as far as Kagome-sama’s protection.

He had to admit that his early dislike of Kagome-sama was purely instinct. She was a miko while Sesshoumaru-sama, Ah-Un, and himself were all youkai. Youkai and those with holy power were natural enemies.

Everyone knew that.

But that brazen human girl with her obscene…was it even a kimono?...garments crossed lines that even the stupidest individual knew should not be crossed. She flaunted her disregard for propriety as wantonly as she did her skin.

He wanted to hate her so badly!

But he couldn’t.

While Jaken had not really experienced the extent of her kindness and compassion firsthand, other than the way she would address him with respect, he had seen her interactions with others, including his little Rin and his Sesshoumaru-sama.

At first, Jaken couldn’t understand why his Sesshoumaru-sama was so interested in the girl that was in his half-brother’s group. She always seemed to be in need of saving from one situation or another. It wasn’t until Sesshoumaru-sama started seeking her out, where he surreptitiously turned an ear into one of their conversations.

He wasn’t trying to eavesdrop. It was purely for research!

It was for his Lord’s protection!

Several youkai and human females have thrown themselves at Sesshoumaru-sama’s path, bestowing pretty words of empty compliments. Youkai females wanted Sesshoumaru-sama’s power and status. Human females coveted his status and wealth.

Jaken had to admit that he had expected the same thing from this weird little human.

He remembered that Sesshoumaru-sama and Kagome-sama were discussing a matter of the West that had been brought to Sesshoumaru-sama’s attention just before he had sought her out. Jaken had to admit that he was duly impressed with how well she held up her end of the conversation.

Not only did she ask questions to gain a better understanding of the inner workings of the West, but Sesshoumaru-sama obliged her and answered her. She had given Sesshoumaru-sama suggestions and recommendations and, to Jaken’s surprise, his lord actually followed them!  

To anyone else, it would have just been a daiyoukai and a human woman having a conversation.

But to Jaken, that was the moment that Kagome-sama transformed into his Sesshoumaru-sama’s mate, the future Lady of the West. That was who she was in his mind ever since and he treated her as such.

Only his Lord or Lady would change his mind otherwise!

Jaken had to admit that he was worried for a long time that his Lord would punish him for such presumptuousness, but the kappa managed to make it through the last couple of years without so much as a bruise as far as Kagome-sama was concerned.

If anyone had asked Jaken, he didn’t understand why his Sesshoumaru-sama was taking so long. However, while Jaken was aware that he could be dumb at times, he didn’t live as long as he did by being that stupid.

Besides, Jaken knew that if he crossed any lines too boldly, then he would not live long enough to see Kagome-sama take her place as the Lady of the West.

That would make his dreams come true.

~~~~~~~~~~

Ah-Un’s nostrils flared as they tried to judge the doneness of the deer meat by scent alone. It didn’t appear to be done just yet, but they couldn’t tell. They took their job as the spit boys quite seriously. They had to make sure that the meat was completely cooked through.

They definitely did not want to be at the receiving end of Sesshoumaru-sama’s wrath because his mate got sick.

While Ah and Un were incapable of speech like Sesshoumaru-sama and Jaken-san, they still had their own opinion about the little miko that their Lord had taken quite the fancy to.

The two-headed dragon adored her.  

What was it about these human females that brought youkai to their knees like they did? First, it was their Lord’s father, then it was Jaken-san, then it was their Lord himself. It was as though human females, at least Rin-chan and Kagome-sama…maybe even Izayoi-hime…were the only ones with the keys to unlock their hearts.

Besides, Ah and Un were aware that they were bred to be a beast of burden, but Kagome-sama never treated them as such. Rin-chan didn’t either. Would Izayoi-hime have done the same?

Maybe they were a different breed of human? Were there different breeds of humans? Hm, Ah-Un would have to find out.

And maybe, just maybe , he could find a mortal dragon female to dote on that would be just as lovely as the mortal women his Lord had in his life.

~~~~~~~~~~

The scent of venison cooking over the fire pulled Kagome out of the sleep that she felt like she had just entered. However, she couldn’t deny that waking up in Sesshoumaru’s arms felt…right. It was the only way she could think of to describe the feelings of safety, security, and comfort that currently enveloped her. Wordlessly, she pulled herself closer to him and sighed when she felt his arms tighten around her. She drew from him all of the strength and comfort he was willing to offer.

The events of the last few hours played through her mind.

It saddened her that she wasn’t able to save Kohaku. His young life was cut so short, but then again, to have experienced the horrors that he did while under Naraku’s control, maybe it was a mercy. If there was another way, she would have gladly taken it.

Her saving grace was that she didn’t have to deal the final blow. She didn’t have to be the one to cause him more pain while digging around in his body for the shard. She didn’t have to hold him while he breathed his last breath, watching as the last sliver of light in his eyes faded to black.

What she did have to do, and she certainly was not looking forward to it, was break the news to Sango.

Kagome felt conflicted. On one hand, she truly didn’t care about what Sango, Inuyasha, or Miroku thought of her. They let her know on multiple occasions what her use was. They never failed to remind her that she was their Shard Detector and that was how they treated her.

Well, maybe not Miroku directly, but he certainly didn’t stand up for Kagome. Maybe his love for Sango and his friendship with Inuyasha meant more to him than she ever could. 

If that was the case, it made him an enabler, allowing Inuyasha and Sango to treat her however they wanted just to keep himself out of the line of fire. In her opinion, she found that fact more disappointing than anything the other two could ever do to her.

Regardless of any pending drama, Kagome was going to have to inform Sango that her beloved brother, the last of her family and her taijiya clan, had perished for good. She was prepared for Sango’s anger. The taijiya was going to hate her. She was going to blame Kagome. She was going to accuse her of letting Kohaku die.

Hell, she might even accuse Kagome for killing him herself.

Just the fact that someone, a child, had to die because of her burden, her responsibility, her obligation, unsettled her. She was doing her job. She was doing what was expected of her, demanded of her, but she still didn’t like it.

The only ones who knew what truly happened last night are the ones that were there with her. It was Sesshoumaru and his servants, but they were the ones who had shown more care about her wellbeing in the time she had known them than any of the others combined. Maybe it was like comparing apples to oranges.

She traveled with Inuyasha and the others because she had to. She traveled with Sesshoumaru because she wanted to. Even with the obligation of having to find the shards of the Shikon no Tama, being with Sesshoumaru made it feel so much less of a burden and more like an adventure. It didn’t make her feel less anxious about being done with this quest that had been thrusted upon her, but Sesshoumaru made it feel so much more bearable.

She was pulled out of her thoughts by the inudaiyoukai nuzzling her cheek with his nose. If it wasn’t for the dead body on the other side of the fire, Kagome would have loved to stay there in Sesshoumaru’s arms until the earth swallowed them whole.

Instead, the voice of Jaken spoke up after he cleared his throat.

“Excuse me, Kagome-sama,” he said, his small body bowing low to the earth. “Good morning. I have prepared breakfast for you. You may eat it at your leisure. I have also taken the liberty to have a kimono ready for you to wear after you have bathed…if you so wish.”

Kagome sighed before sitting up. She opened her mouth to speak, but her stomach beat her to it and growled in protest at being empty. She didn’t think she would be hungry enough to eat. 

There was literally a dead body across the fire from them, but since it was covered and as long as she didn’t look at it, she felt like she should be okay to eat.

Kagome pushed herself up into a sitting position and rubbed her eyes just as Jaken had approached her with the food that he had prepared. She smiled at him in thanks and started eating, pointedly keeping her gaze away from the other side of the fire.

Sesshoumaru spoke gently from beside her. “I’ll carry the boy’s body back to Edo Village while Jaken and you follow with Ah-Un.”

Kagome was silent for a moment before she spoke. “It’s always hard to deliver news such as this. I’m not looking forward to it.”

“Indeed,” he agreed. “I had to deliver such news after my father passed. He lost some men in his fight against the dragon and I had to be the one to share it with their families. Just remember that it is their grief that will dictate their words and actions. You are not at fault.”

Kagome’s shoulders slumped forward. “Are you sure? Maybe there was something I was missing…something I could have done…something different.”

He placed his arm around her waist and gave her hip a comforting squeeze. The gesture was intimate and Kagome couldn’t help but lean into his embrace.

“Like what?” he asked. “The boy needed the shard to live, but the shard was needed to complete the Shikon no Tama and rid the world of that vile hanyou. Had we not granted his wish to end his life, Naraku would not have stopped until he killed you. If he did not stop, the boy would have still died by my hands attempting to touch what is mine.”

Kagome studied Sesshoumaru as he spoke, her heart fluttering in her chest after his declaration. Part of her wanted to pretend that she had no idea of what he was referring to. She searched his gaze as the conflict warred within her.

She wanted to be his partner, his Lady, his mate.

She desired it above anything else. She would be a fool to turn down the affections of one such as he. It wasn’t because he was a powerful daiyoukai or that he had wealth that he never talked about and she never asked about. It wasn’t that he had status within youkai society, his own lands and his own subjects.

Sesshoumaru desired Kagome for who she was and that was what was most important to her. Not because of her holy power that she could wield. Not because she was the guardian of the Shikon no Tama. Not because she was an anomaly in that world. And certainly not because she didn’t have anyone else that she could turn to.

He felt for her the way she felt for him. And she desired it. She wanted it.

She was afraid to admit that she needed it.

But the timing was not right. Not until the Shikon no Tama was complete. Not until Naraku had been defeated. Not until she could figure out just what in the world was happening to her.

She would accept the fact that she may never get rid of the Shikon no Tama. It was a very real possibility that she simply could not ignore. Many desired to have the Shikon no Tama to make a wish, to make their dreams come true.

That was why Inuyasha was so hellbent on having it completed. When they first met, he wanted the jewel to become a full youkai, like his half-brother. When he was with Kikyou, he had flipflopped and wanted to become full human for her. Now that the other miko was no more, he changed his mind again to become full youkai again.

But apparently it was supposed to be a selfless wish that would get rid of the jewel. But if that was the case, then Inuyasha’s demands to complete the Shikon no Tama was an exercise in futility.

That made Kagome pause. If she really thought about it, there truly was no such thing as a selfless wish. In the end, a wish would still benefit the one who made the wish, even if it was on the behalf of another person.

That was what Kagome needed to work out. That was what she needed to deal with. Kagome needed to get rid of the Shikon no Tama without making a wish.

In the meantime, she would indulge in his attentions, in his affections, and she would return them just as intensely and adoringly.

But she would not allow him to make any promises to her. Not yet, anyway. Not until she had some definite answers and they could plan for their future together.

Whatever their future may hold.

~~~~~~~~~~

Kagome knew that her homecoming to Edo Village was going to be less than spectacular, but they really could not delay for much longer.

Just as Sesshoumaru had promised, they made it to the boundary of Edo Village just before the evening meal. Kagome and Jaken rode Ah-Un into the village, led by Sesshoumaru, who carried Kohaku’s body in his arms.

They had just cleared the forest and were heading for Kaede’s hut when Inuyasha, Sango, and Miroku intercepted them on the way. Kagome immediately noticed Sango’s distended belly, her hand resting over it with one hand while holding Hiraikotsu with the other. Kagome quickly did the math, wondering how far along Sango could be and when she found out since no one said anything while they were traveling. Her thoughts were cut off when Inuyasha spoke.

“It’s about time you got back!” he complained. “We were going to leave without…'' He froze mid-sentence when he saw what Sesshoumaru was cradling. He frowned and looked back and forth between Kagome and Sesshoumaru. “Is that…”

“Kohaku!” Sango shouted. She ran to Sesshoumaru and pulled the boy’s body out of the daiyoukai’s arms. The young woman screamed in grief and collapsed to the ground, cradling her brother’s body in her arms. Inuyasha fell to his knees with her, his arm around her to support her. He was speaking to her in a low voice. Whether it was for comfort or concern for the baby, Kagome couldn’t tell.

Ah-Un knelt down and allowed Kagome to slide from their back. She stood silently by Sesshoumaru’s side as Sango was overcome with grief. Kagome watched the scene before her. Her face was impassive and her gaze hard as she kept her head up and back straight.

“What happened?” Miroku breathed, his gaze flicking back and forth between Sesshoumaru and Kagome. His expression was pained but also laced with confusion. “Why would you do this?”

Kagome remained silent as the scene played out before her. While Sango was cradling Kohaku’s body, Inuyasha saw the tear in the back of the boy’s outfit.

“You killed him?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. Sango’s head snapped up, the grief in her expression turned to pure disgust and anger.

This was the reaction Kagome was expecting.

Yes, they killed him. She was involved in taking his life and she would not deny it, but it was certainly without malice. As Sesshoumaru had said earlier, it was unfortunate, but Kohaku had a shard that they needed and he had to die in order to retrieve it. He had offered it to them, begged them to kill him and end his misery, but in the end, it was self-defense. There were no excuses or explanations that would be given. It was just the way things were. It was unavoidable and they all knew it.

Sango let Inuyasha support her brother’s body as she stood, her own body rigid from fury. Her fists were balled up at her sides as she stalked forward. Miroku rushed ahead, grabbing Sango by the arm, but the taijiya continued on her warpath. Contempt radiated from the other woman like a raging inferno. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sesshoumaru stiffen and Jaken jumped in front of her, brandishing Nintojo, but Kagome stood her ground, her chin up.

She did nothing wrong and she was not going to be bullied by the woman she used to see as a friend and sister at one time. As Kagome straightened her back and lifted her head in defiance, Sango's expression seemed to transform into pure hatred.

“How dare you!” she hissed, shaking Miroku off as she pointed a finger at Kagome. “You always thought you were special because of that damned Jewel! I bet you couldn’t wait to kill him just so you could have his shard, you hateful greedy bitch!”

Kagome knew Sango would be upset. She expected the tears, the anger, definitely the grief, but she certainly didn’t anticipate the other woman to get unhinged to this degree.

Kagome believed that it was her lack of response that sent Sango into a rage. The other woman screamed at her and, surprising everyone present, Sango pulled her fist back, poised to swing at the miko. Kagome flinched in reflex, but she braced herself for the blow.

Before Sango could follow through, Sesshoumaru shot his hand out and grabbed Sango by the neck. Panic had replaced every other emotion that the taijiya had shown as Sango struggled against Sesshoumaru’s grasp, her hands hopelessly clawing at his wrist that held her firm.

Kagome glanced at Sesshoumaru, to find his eyes bleeding red. It was the first time in a long time that she had seen him lose his temper like that and never on her behalf. Even when Naraku had attacked her through Kohaku, he had remained composed. Sesshoumaru snarled and to Kagome, it appeared as though he had started to tighten his grip on Sango’s neck because Sango’s struggling grew a bit more frantic.

Inuyasha and Miroku started to panic. The males started to approach Sesshoumaru until they saw his poison forming from the fingertips of his free hand. They stopped in their tracks, but Inuyasha unsheathed Tetsusaiga, pointing it at his brother. Miroku dropped to his knees, lowering his head to the ground in a kowtow. 

“Sesshoumaru-sama, please,” the houshi pleaded. He sobbed into the ground. “Sango is my wife and she carries my child. I beg you, please, spare them both.”

Without waiting for Sesshoumaru to respond, Inuyasha started to advance on his older brother. Sesshoumaru growled dangerously in warning as his eyes flicked to both of the males.

“Drop her, Sesshoumaru!” Inuyasha demanded. Inuyasha ignored Sesshoumaru’s warning and continued to approach until his brother snapped him back with a whip made from his poison. Inuyasha jumped back and he cursed vehemently. The ground sizzled and smoked at the place where Sesshoumaru’s corrosive poison made contact.

Jaken held Nintojo higher, ready to release the fire from his staff as Miroku tried to rush to Kagome.  He was stopped by both another lashing of Sesshoumaru’s whip and a warning blast of fire from Jaken’s staff. Wild violet eyes were streaming tears, as he begged Kagome.

“Please, Kagome-sama! Do something!” he pleaded.

“Why should I?” she asked.

Kagome’s voice was unwavering and unrepentant. She heard the gasps from the males and saw Sango pause her struggling in Sesshoumaru’s grasp. It was as if they couldn’t believe what came out of Kagome’s mouth.

“Be-because she’s your friend,” he said, weakly.

Inuyasha interjected, “We’re your friends and you care about us. You know you want to help us. It’s in your nature.”

Kagome let out a humorless laugh, the anger and upset that she felt whenever she was around them stirred. The miko looked at Sango as her wild, panicky eyes were pleading for help. She turned her attention to Inuyasha, who’s Tetsusaiga had transformed to his full size, and to Miroku, who had sunken down to his knees, his shoulders sagging in defeat.

Kagome knew deep down that she would not feel any remorse if Sesshoumaru ended the other woman’s life at that instant. If she saved Sango, she really didn’t foresee any gratitude coming from the other woman. Sango would continue on her tirade and sling more accusations and insults her way, despite the current inconvenience of having Sesshoumaru’s fingers wrapped around her throat.

If Kagome let Sango die, Inuyasha and Miroku would hate her, most likely until the day they died. But she could live with Miroku’s and Inuyasha’s hatred of her. What they thought about her didn’t matter anymore. She cared more than she should have earlier in their acquaintance and it didn’t get her anywhere. She had allowed them to take advantage of her, to walk all over her, only for any affection for them to be replaced with resentment and disappointment. It wasn’t even about the Shikon no Tama. Kagome held resentment that she gave more to what she thought was a friendship than they did and disappointment that the affection that she had given so freely at one time was ignored.

Until it served them like it was now.

“Friend? Are you truly trying to call yourself my friend now, when it’s convenient for you? I cared about you, all of you, before. I would have put my life on the line for any of you!” she pointedly looked at each one of them. “And now you want my help,” she practically spat, contemptuously.

Sango sobbed, “Kagome…”

“You already accused me of killing Kohaku. All I have to do is to say the word.”

Kagome was confident that Sesshoumaru would end the other woman’s life on her behalf without hesitation and without question, especially if Sango proves herself to be a threat to Kagome.

Inuyasha visibly swallowed and Miroku let out a sob as the miko leveled a glare at them. She wanted to make a point that they would not get away with bullying her. But she knew that Inuyasha was right. Sango, she didn’t care about. But if she allowed her resentment to cause the death of Sango’s baby, she would never forgive herself.

The miko sighed in defeat as she placed a hand on Sesshoumaru’s arm, the muscles in his arms twitched slightly as if he was restraining himself from killing Sango. The inudaiyoukai narrowed his eyes at the woman whose throat was encircled by his fingers and he practically threw her on the ground with Miroku and Inuyasha both coming to her rescue. Sango gasped for air from her spot on the ground. The red receded from Sesshoumaru’s glare as he gained control over himself again.

“Hanyou,” Sesshoumaru addressed his half-brother menacingly. “If your woman attempts to harm She who belongs to this Sesshoumaru, this One will kill her.”

…She who belongs to this Sesshoumaru…

Kagome felt her heart flutter in her chest again. It was the first time ever that he declared publicly a close connection to her. They didn’t intentionally keep their feelings for each other a secret. If no one could sense what was going on between the daiyoukai and the miko, then that was no fault of theirs. If confronted, Kagome would only brush the observation off as not being anyone else’s business. Sesshoumaru’s mere presence struck fear into anyone with even the smallest bit of common sense, so she didn’t believe that he had to dodge statements like that from anyone. Except maybe Inuyasha but his brother only got the same response that everyone else received.

But to publicly declare to anyone within earshot that she was his…

It flooded her being with a sense of warmth and longing that she didn’t realize was possible. There were still discussions she believed that they needed to have with each other, unspoken and unresolved feelings that should be brought to the surface and out on the table, but now was not the time.

Sesshoumaru’s remark stunned everyone as an awkward silence hung in the air before he stalked off. Kagome spared the others a glance. Sango was still on her knees beside her brother’s body. Inuyasha was kneeling beside her while Miroku stood back a couple of steps, his gaze on Inuyasha and Sango. Miroku’s brow was furrowed, like he was deep in thought. Looking away, Kagome left to follow behind Sesshoumaru.

The pair entered Kaede’s hut, but the old miko was not there. Jaken entered the hut not long after them but stepped out to collect some water for tea. Kagome sat at the table as Sesshoumaru paced. She reached out and took his hand, causing him to stop his movements. When his fingers closed around hers, she smiled at him as he sat down at the table with her.

The other part of the statement is what had Kagome burning with questions. 

He told Inuyasha, If your woman…

As far as she knew, Inuyasha didn’t have a woman, however, he could only have been talking to Sango, especially since that female most recently saw her life flash before her eyes. Kagome also knew that inuyoukai had acute senses, so Sesshoumaru could sniff out a secret better than anyone with even the keenest observation skills.

If that was the case, then that meant Inuyasha and Sango…

“Sesshoumaru,” she started. “What do you know about Inuyasha and Sango? You scented something, didn’t you?”

The corner of his mouth lifted. She was sharp.

He nodded once. “Indeed. The hanyou’s scent is heavily mixed with hers.”

Kagome thought about it. It would be natural for Sango to have Inuyasha’s scent since they traveled together quite frequently. Even Kagome carried Inuyasha’s scent for a while. Fortunately for her, and more so for Sesshoumaru, she now carried Sesshoumaru’s scent. Not only because of how frequently they traveled together, but lately, they had been in each other’s company much more often. If she still had any of Inuyasha’s scent, she would have been surprised.

“What about Miroku’s scent?” she asked. She was trying to piece together what Sesshoumaru knew without him actually telling her. She wanted to figure it out herself.

The daiyoukai shook his head. “It’s subtle. It’s there, but not nearly to the degree that Inuyasha’s scent is.”

Kagome tapped her finger to her chin as she thought it out.

Inuyasha’s scent was heavier than Miroku’s. That meant that, although Sango and Miroku were married, or rather, were supposed to be married, Sango still spent more time in Inuyasha’s company than in Miroku, which meant….

Her eyes grew wide. “Inuyasha and Sango…”

Sesshoumaru nodded, watching her reaction. He had only done it once before…given Kagome pieces of vague information. As she worked through the facts that he had given her, Sesshoumaru could almost swear that he could see the pieces falling into place in her mind. When her eyes widened with realization, he couldn’t help but feel his chest puff out with pride at the fact that his intended was so intelligent.

At least, she would be his intended…if she didn’t reject him.

He knew Kagome had to deal with the obligation of the Shikon no Tama first, and by extension, Naraku. Now that they knew where the final shard and the spider hanyou was holed up, it was one less obstacle that she had to deal with.

He wanted to whisk her away to Naraku’s hideout and take him out swiftly so he could proceed with much more pleasant topics with Kagome.

Like courting her.

Like mating her.

Like having a home full of hanyou pups that she had bore him.

He felt compelled to lift her hand that he had been holding to his lips, gently kissing the back of it. Her smile filled him with a warmth that he didn’t know existed.

Sesshoumaru had been in and out of the village several times during the years, only ever calling upon Kagome. His interactions with Inuyasha were unavoidable as it seemed that the hanyou was always on the lookout for his elder brother just to be able to pick a fight with him.

If Sesshoumaru and Kagome interacted with each other within the village, it was generally a stroll through the village or small talk, both gracing each other with formalities as if they were at the royal court. Otherwise, the majority of their interactions occurred in private. Kagome either traveled with him or they walked out of the bounds of the village. It was only then when he truly relaxed and Kagome started to learn about who he truly was.

However, since Sesshoumaru openly declared his close association with Kagome, he was hoping that she would not be opposed to it if he displayed his affection more openly. He didn’t think she would be against it, but still…

Her voice interrupted his thoughts.

“So that means Sango’s baby…”

Sesshoumaru nodded again. “It is merely speculation at this point as there are too many unknown factors.”

Kagome agreed with a sigh and shook her head. She did remember Sango’s refusal to wear her taijiya armor when they were traveling and she complained of illness. However, Kagome didn’t pay much attention to Sango’s bellyaching. She had her own issues that she was dealing with as the energies from the Shikon no Tama started messing with her at that time. They had refused to return to the village. Kagome remembered being so irritated and upset that she didn’t pay the others any mind.

If Kagome really thought about it, she would have to say that Sango’s belly looked like she was much further along for her to be pregnant only three months. If it was a fully human baby, that would mean that Sango was pregnant during their travels in the North and she was at least six or seven months along right now.

If the baby was hanyou, Kagome had to estimate that Sango was around four or five months pregnant. She wasn’t an expert when it came to hanyou pregnancies, any pregnancies for that matter, but she could tell that Sango’s belly was growing much faster than if the baby was fully human.

Or her time table was off.

Which meant that Miroku had to know. There wasn’t any way he couldn’t not know. Didn’t he even find it questionable that his best friend would want to spend so much time with his wife? That must have been why Inuyasha didn’t seem to show any interest in any of the other village women also. 

Regardless, it wasn’t any of her business. It wasn’t her place to say anything. If it was a situation that the three of them agreed on, then she was happy for them. If it wasn’t…Kagome had watched enough dramas before the well closed to know how that kind of story ended. She didn’t know when it was going to happen but their affair was going to implode.

And it was all of their own doing.

At least, Kagome couldn’t be blamed for that and she was glad.

Kagome didn’t want to think about that. Sango and Miroku had been married for six months. In fact, Kaede had mentioned to Kagome that Sango was with child the day after they had gotten back from the North. Naturally, Miroku was thrilled to be an expectant father, especially since being able to continue his bloodline was his famous pickup line that he used before he had committed to Sango. That was one reason why they were so determined about continuing the hunt for Naraku. Sango and Miroku had something to live for. Inuyasha had his wish he wanted to make. And Kagome…

Kagome had nothing.

Well, not nothing as she had Sesshoumaru…or she would like to think she did.

However, Sesshoumaru would not have said what he did just to stir up drama. He liked to bait his brother, but he was not the sort of individual who would fight dirty like that. She had a feeling that the elephant in the room would be left alone to rampage. With that being the case, Kagome would have to pay closer attention to the three of them the next time they were together.

~~~~~~~~~~

Jaken placed the teapot on the table before his Lord and Lady. He poured his Lady’s cup of tea first, then his Lord’s, observing them as they spoke to each other as if they had forgotten that he was in the room. Sometimes, it seemed as if Sesshoumaru-sama and Kagome-sama were in their own little world…far away from magical jewels and bloodthirsty, manipulative hanyou. The affection they had for each other was palpable. But as far as he knew, neither one of them had confessed their feelings to each other. While it wasn’t his business to know why, he really wanted to know why.

But he knew his Lord did not act without reason. He figured that his Lady had much to take care of before they could further their relationship.

It was a disappointment, really. It was understandable, but a disappointment all the same.

All he was concerned about was that his Lady would stay safe until the whole debacle with the Shikon no Tama and that hanyou filth was taken care of. He was absolutely certain that Sesshoumaru-sama would take Kagome-sama as his mate. His Lord would dote on her and she would want for nothing. Everyone in the West would praise the beauty, grace, and power of his new Lady.

And there was such affection between them that he just knew within his kappa heart that there would be little hanyou pups running around in no time at all!

Jaken sighed to himself. What he wouldn’t give to have a shiro full of little ones to care for again. Rin was seven by the time she joined them, but the idea of tiny hanyou babies made Jaken’s heart swell.

He needed to send word to the Shiro to prepare the Lady’s rooms. He could hear the questions preemptively about whether his Lord had taken a mate. He would have to get the most trusted of his Lords advisors to oversee the preparations to receive their Lady. He so badly wanted to add a nursery…but he should probably discuss it with his Lord and Lady first.

In fact, he should probably wait until they were actually mated first.

He was already acting presumptuously as it was. He didn’t need to put his life in any further danger because he couldn’t contain his happiness and excitement about what, in his opinion, was inevitable.