Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Grow up,” I was 14

Chapter One: “Should I Go Back?”

Billy was frowning as he looked out the window, frowning was a bit undermined. He was sulking, pouting. He did not want to go to this “therapist”; he didn't need it.

“Oh come on Billy, don’t pout. This is good for you,” Rosa said as she glanced at Billy who was in the passenger's seat.

“I’m not pouting,” Billy retorted as they pulled up to this fancy ass building. He wondered how Rosa could afford a place like this.

Billy had been told about this the previous night, they had gotten into an argument about it. It took him a while before he opened up to his foster family. So opening up to a stranger? Impossible. But at the end of the day he still had to go, but that didn’t stop him from researching this “therapist”. Turns out she really knew her shit. Doctor Gordonna Wilson had a PhD in multiple majors in psychology. She had even been reached out by several superheroes. So she was the real deal.

As Billy walked into the fancy ass building, Rosa told him to go sit and wait. He was still salty about having to come. But he didn’t want to make a scene so he sat down by the window. Around 10 minutes later Rosa came over and sat next to him.

“How are you feeling?” Rosa spoke in a soothing voice, Billy almost wanted to forgive her. But he was stubborn and shrugged. Rosa sighed, she was trying and Billy didn’t fault her for that. As he waited his leg started bouncing subconsciously.

“Nervous” Billy said after a bit. Rosa smiled warmly at Billy as she held his hand, proud he had felt comfortable enough to say something. As soon as Billy was about to elaborate some lady in a suit had walked into the waiting room.

“William Batson?” She called out as she looked over at the many people who were around in the waiting room. Billy was even more upset at that, was it so hard to say “Billy”? But he stood up and waved goodbye at Rosa, she gave a warm smile back. “That your mother?” The suit lady asked, with a smile on her face. 

“Uh, yeah she is” Billy nodded as he walked with the lady. Benounced to him, Rosa had heard.

“She seems wonderful” the lady spoke, Billy wondered who the lady was now that they were walking. She didn’t seem to be the lady who was on the Wiki page, then again you don’t trust Wiki. 

“Are you Doctor Wilson?” Billy said as he looked up and down at the lady. She laughed and put her hand over her mouth.

“Oh no, sorry. I’m Katie, I just work here. But i’m taking you to her” Billy nodded, he wouldn’t say it out loud but he was glad it wasn’t. But they continued to walk (Billy remembered the layout as they went so he knew where to run if he needed to) until they came to this door with a huge plat on it that wrote, “Doctor Gordonna Wilson” on it. Billy scoffed at that as the lad- Katie knocked on the door. A faint “Come in” was heard and Katie opened the door.

“William Ba-'' Billy cut her off as he walked into the room, it was rude as hell to barge in. But he didn’t care, “Its Billy” he spat out, Doctor Wilson nodded and Katie closed the door. There was a faint click, “automatic lock” Billy thought as he sat on the couch without a care in the world.

“Well hello there Billy, I'm Doctor Wilson. But you can call me Gordonna.” Yeah no, Billy was not going to be all “goodie” with this Doctor. Fuck that. He just leaned back into the couch, it was hella comfy. 

Billy studied the room, memorizing it. Subconsciously trying to find the most valuable things he could grab before looking at the Doctor. She had already started writing stuff down. “Already?” Billy thought, he was a little shocked, but mostly upset. Thoughts running wild in his head, it was like he was in a new toy that a child was deciding if they liked it or not. 

He wanted to leave. Be anywhere but here. Fuck, at this point he would do monitor duty at the JL then be here. For what feels like hours was seconds as she put her notebook down, putting a tab on the page as she closed it. Folding her hands in her lap.

“You wanna get out of here?” Gordonna asked, Billy must have looked taken aback as she continued, “What's your favorite place to eat?” Billy was so confused he just shrugged. “McDonalds?” Was she actually taking him out of here? As Billy’s thoughts went wild he looked back at her and she was already opening the door. “You coming? Or are you just gonna stay there for an hour?” 

Confused, Billy just stood up and followed, still processing what the hell was going on.

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“Nobody likes being trapped in an unfamiliar place,” Gordonna said as she ate a fry. Billy got a milkshake, still trying to wrap his head around the whole thing.

“Uh yeah, I guess?” Billy shrugged as he slurped his milkshake.

“All the stuff are from garage sales, nothing valuable” Gordonna told Billy as she took a bite of her burger. Billy was even more confused.

“Pardon?”

“The stuff in my office, it’s all just for show. Most likely you’ll find it for less than 5 bucks on the internet.” Gordonna chuckled, Billy sighed as he was caught.

“Sorry, I wasn’t going to…” Billy would pause before he opened his mouth to continue but Gordonna put her hand up.

“Don’t apologize Billy, it’s okay. I’m not mad, just curious. Can I ask why you felt the need to steal from me?” Billy would take a sip of his shake before taking a breath.

“Just a reflex I guess” he would shrug as he looked at Gordonna. She nodded before speaking.

“Is it also a reflex that you memorize the layout of every building you go into?” Gordonna took a bite of her burger without a care in the world, like she had just asked how the weather was. It honestly shook Billy, didn’t think she would have noticed. Hell, nobody else had. Why was she different?

“Who knows, maybe there's a fire and I need to get out” Billy grumbled out, he was a little upset she had called him out on the things he’d done. 

“Suppose so, have you ever been in a fire?” Gordonna would ask as she wiped her mouth, for some reason Gordonna acting as if this was a normal conversation was surprisingly somewhat calming.

Billy guessed so? Captain Marvel could shoot lightning out of his body. So he kinda started fires? But this is Billy, so no? So Billy just shook his head as he continued to drink his milkshake.

“Water?” She asked, Billy hadn’t really been in a pool or anything. Well that one time with that Doctor Sivana guy. Billy paused when he remembered, he was terrified. Learned the hard way that magic didn’t work underwater. “Billy?” Gordonna spoke, her voice filled with worry.

“Hm?” he looked up to meet Gordonna’s worried eyes. “What?” Billy asked.

“You were shaking, are you okay?” Gordonna asked, her sudden non-caring persona gone, all there was, was worry. Billy sighed, he knew he had to give some context. He must have zoned out.

“Oh yeah, fine. I was just remembering how I almost drowned” Billy chuckled awkwardly before continuing. “That uh, Mister Mind guy on the news a while back?” Gordonna nodded softly, leaning back in her seat, listening. “Well uh, I was at the festival that he came too. And I was with my fost– I was with my siblings. Well… long story short he slammed my face through the ice and into the water” Gordonna seemed worried for me but she nodded. Somehow she showed just enough emotion.

After a couple of seconds he remembered that Captain Marvel was also there. “Oh- But Captain Marvel and his buddies saved me and yeah… honestly I wasn’t important so dunno why they did that” Billy shrugged, he was used to talking about Captain Marvel like it wasn’t him. In a way it wasn’t.

“I’m so sorry that happened Billy. That must have been terrible,” she would hold Billy’s hand caringly, giving a little squeeze before she continued, “You shouldn’t have had to go through that, you are important. Don’t forget that Billy Batson” she would smile at Billy as she spoke.

Fuck .

_________________

Why did he say he would rather do monitor duty? Captain Marvel sighed as he sat down on one of the few chairs.

Captain Marvel wasn’t mentally exhausted like Billy. Billy was honestly thinking about skipping, but he was not gonna get another “Bat Lecture” about responsibility. He was 15, fuck that. Well, Billy was. Does that mean Captain Marvel is also 15? Eh… Captain Marvel shrugged before Wally, the “Flash”, came zooming in with a bunch of snacks. 

“Who’s ready to watch some screens?!” Wally called out as he sat down, passing Captain Marvel some goldfish. So what if Captain Marvel looks like he's 30? He’s a kid at heart! ... and other body?

“You good Cap?” Wally asked as he raised an eyebrow, his mask off. Wally was a chill dude. He had revealed his identity to the team a looooong time ago, he trusted them, so did they. The only person’s identity that was still unknown was Bats, and of course himself. Well, Supe to Captain Marvel guessed? They knew his first name. Eh? Counts ish?

“Oh i’m fine” Captain Marvel replied, he was mostly honest with Wally. And he never lied to the JL so he sighed and decided he needed to get seeing a therapist off his chest. Not like JL is gonna find out he’s a kid… right? 

“Well actually, something's been buggin’ me. Mind if I run it by you?” He didn’t really talk much about his out of work life, and frankly. No one asked. But when they did, which was like never, it was always around Batman. Captain Marvel had heard enough horror stories that he refuses to talk about his out of work life around the Bat.

“Oh yeah, sure buddie!” Wally sat up straighter, Captain Marvel couldn’t help but give a slight chuckle as he looked at the stars while eating. Somehow he found it easier to talk when he has food, weird?

“Well I went to therapy, my mo– my friend had forced me to go. And honestly I was such a dick to her, thinking about it now it wasn’t the best approach. But she was so amazing, and I honestly wanna give it another go, I hadn’t felt that… free?” Captain Marvel looked over at Wally, who looked engaged with the conversation, before continuing, “Do you think I should go back?” Wally had thought for a moment before replying.

“Yes, I think you should. I think it’s amazing that you’re getting help. I have been going to therapy as well, I started feeling lighter when I went. The feeling you described as “free” is what feeling lighter is. Now don’t get me wrong, the trauma doesn’t go away, but it helps.” Wally smiled at Captain Marvel and Captain Marvel nodded, smiling back.

“Thanks Mr. West” Captain Marvel continued to eat his goldfish before falling into comfortable silence. 

A few minutes later Wally spoke, “Wally is fine Cap” Wally chuckled, “I ain’t that old” Captain Marvel also chuckled before speaking.

“Call me Billy”

The shock on Wally’s face almost made Billy shit himself laughing.

Chapter Text

“Grow up,” I was 14

Chapter Two: “Time Management and Thoughts”

After around 3 months of going to see Gordonna twice a week, Billy and her had started to hit it off well. So well in fact that Billy calls Gordonna “Don” and has already started trusting her more. She's almost like a cool aunt Billy never really had, but professional at the same time?

But what is Billy going to do when he has a session and a JL meeting at the same time?

“What the ever-loving fuck am I gonna do?!” Billy was pacing back and forth on the floor in his shared bedroom, Freddy was trying to calm him down, sitting on the bottom bunk of the bed.

“Okay calm down, can’t you just postpone the therapy? Or say you can’t go to the meeting?” Freddy asked, tapping Billy’s foot with his cane to stop him from walking. So Billy just sat on one of the bean bag chairs in the room. 

“I can’t Freddy! I have to go to the JL meeting, I do not want another Bat Lecture. But I don’t want to hurt Don’s feelings… what the hell am I gonna do?” Billy was obviously in distress as he put his hands on his head, sighing as he tried to think. 

“Why not do both?” Freddy shrugged. “You have superspeed, the meeting is at 4:00 and therapy is at 5:30” Freddy looked at the time, 3:42.

“But JL stuff takes forever, what if I’m late?” Billy stood up, walking over to Freddy, sitting next to him.

“Leave early” Freddy shrugged like it wasn’t so hard.

“What if they ask where I’m going?”

“The say you have to leave”

“What if they ask why?”

“Family emergency?” Freddy shrugged.

“What if-” Billy was cut off with a cane to the leg, “Ow! What the hell dude!”

“Your Billy fuckin’ Batson, you practically grew up on the streets, you have literally juked every cop in the city, you can lie like the devil himself, and your fuckin’ one of the most powerful superheroes in all of the world. You can do whatever you put yourself through, okay.” Freddy told Billy, he was right. Why was Billy getting all worried over this? He’s got this by the neck.

“Your right, thanks Freddy” Billy grinned as he hugged Freddy, standing up and opening the window, “See you in a bit Freddy” Billy would jump out of the window yelling “Shazam” as lightning came down, flying off into the sky.

_________________

Captain Marvel was sitting in his chair at the WatchTower, Batman was going on about the latest news reports and such. Captain Marvel was bored out of his mind as he listened, every second he would wait for the clock to turn 5:25, it has him 15 minutes to get to Don, so that would be fine. Hopefully.

“Any reports, Captain Marvel?” Superman’s voice rang out, Captain Marvel must have zoned out as he turned to Superman with a confused expression. “Your report on your city Captain Marvel?” Superman would tilt his head at Captain Marvel in a disappointed fatherly way. For some reason, it pissed Billy off.

“Oh yeah sorry… right” Captain Marvel would stand up, clearing his throat as he opened his mouth to speak before he caught the clock. It was somehow 5:29, “Where the hell did the time go?” Captain Marvel thought as he abruptly walked back and pushed his chair in. “So so sorry, uh- no reports? Besides the usual?” Captain Marvel would rush to say as he turned away to walk.

“Where are you going?” Batman’s voice ran out through the room, Billy Batson could lie… but Captain Marvel couldn’t. Shit, why hadn’t he thought about this before. It’s okay it’s okay… Captain Marvel, Billy was trying to calm down before he spoke.

“I have to leave” Captain Marvel spoke as he took a step, trying to leave the room before Batman’s voice rang out again.

“Where?” Fucking hell, why can’t Batman just get off his back for once? Always gotta pull this shit. Captain Marvel sighed as he glanced back at Batman.

“Emergency” Captain Marvel spoke before zooming off before the Bat could say any more. He was sooooo fucked for a lecture about “responsibility” the next time they met.

But that was for Captain Marvel, right now he had to be Billy Batson.

_________________

Billy had reached Gordonna’s office 13 minutes late. 5;43 the clock read when he entered the office. 

“Sorry I'm late Don” Billy sighed as he sat down on the couch. He wasn’t really all that sorry, but he had to at least act like it.

“Don’t be Billy, your quite alright. But since you were late we have to stay here today. Is that alright with you?” Gordonna asked Billy, well not really asking. More like being polite. But Billy just nodded.

“Yeah it’s whatever” Billy honestly wanted to get this over with, he was tired from all the league stuff. He really just wanted to play video games with Eugene and Freddy. 

“Okay then, today I wanted to know if you were comfortable talking to me about your time on the streets?” Gordonna asked, it caught Billy off guard how upfront she was.

Great.

_________________

When Billy got home he was exhausted. He never thought talking about his life would be so, draining… yet he felt lighter? Billy swears he's going crazy.

But he promised to play COD with Eugene, he had told Billy that COD was the game that Billy had to play in order to catch up with society. And Freddy wanted to join. So all three of them sat on the couch and played.

Everyone else besides the 3 of them and Victor were out with Darla at some park for a unicorn treasure hunt. Honestly, Billy didn’t really ask much. 

“How are you so trash at this Billy!?” Eugene laughed out at Billy, Freddy was picking at his lip as he glanced at Billy, trying not to say anything on the matter but failing.

“I mean, dude, it’s not that hard?” Freddy gestured to the TV. Billy frowned at the both of them.

“Maybe if you both would shut up, I could actually play!” Billy yelled, not even .5 seconds later Victor called out from the kitchen.

“Billy! That's enough!” Billy bit his tongue, being here for over a year still hadn’t gotten ridden of his “tongue” as they called it, basically, he was still getting used to “not talking back”. Billy gripped the controller so hard he must have left imprints in it. But he was taken out of his trance as his JL comm was vibrating in his pocket.

Billy would get up before looking back at his brothers they seemed a little worried, but Billy just spoke again “It’s a nice day out, I'll head out for a walk” and with that, they seemed to get the hint and went back to playing COD.

As soon as Billy was down the street he pulled out his comm, “Captain Marvel here” He spoke, trying to deepen his voice a bit.

“Captain Marvel, it’s Batman.” Greaaaat Billy thought before Batman continued, “We need back up in Metropolis. Copy?” Billy really didn’t want to, but he had opened his comms and wasn’t wanting Batman to give him any more reasons to dislike him. The thought alone sent shivers down Billy’s back.

“Yeah, copy” Billy said before he turned off his comm.

“ Shazam !”

_________________

When Captain Marvel flew down to the fight, it was the typical robot. So it wasn’t all bad. But there was Wonder Woman, Batman, Superman, and the Flash all there. Captain Marvel thought that was strange, why would they need most of the big 7 for something so small as robots?

Captain Marvel soon found out when he was hit by one. They pack a punch, to say the least.

Captain Marvel was fighting so many at the same time it was getting overwhelming. It was like they kept coming out of nowhere, they kept on coming and coming. Captain Marvel had been through this before but he was exhausted from having to go to therapy today. And he had to focus on calming down while destroying all these robots. And it was too much . 

But Billy had thought of an idea, but Captain Marvel was skeptical. The wisdom of Solomen and Billy’s thoughts were intertwined. He had to be Captain Marvel, not Billy Batson right now. But everything was too much and it was suffocating. He could barely get stable enough to take a breath before the next attack.

“Fuck it!” Captain Marvel somewhat yelled whispered. Before he would look around to make sure there was nothing but robots around before he yelled out.

“ Shazam !”

Billy Batson looked around as the robots seemed to all start falling down around him, like dominoes. It seemed to be that he had “overcooked them”. Billy was honestly quite proud of himself, he didn’t realize how well it would have worked.

“Holy fuck!” Billy grinned as he looked around him. But soon knew he had to turn back, but as soon as he was about to speak the “Man of Steal” had flown down to him. Fuck, how can someone be so fast?

“Son, are you all right? What are you doing out here, it’s not safe” And before Billy could speak he was already being picked up by Superman. SUPERMAN!? It felt weird, Captain Marvel was a “grown man” so there was no reason for Superman to pick him up, nor anyone for that matter. Even when he's Billy, he never let anyone pick him up. But not a second later he was back on the ground.

“You alright son?” Billy had to try and act surprised, like he hasn’t seen Superman for the 100th time. But Superman calling him “son” wasn’t helping.

“Oh my! Superman! I’m fine, thank you so much for saving me!” Billy tried so hard not to cringe. Superman only chuckled and patted Billy on the shoulder.

“Of course, say… did you see Captain Marvel, the huge guy with the lightning bolt on his chest,” Superman said as he glanced around the sky a bit before looking down at Billy. Billy smiled brightly before he nodded, he could lie. He was fucking perfect at it.

“He zapped the robot things with the lightning before he flew off” Short n’ sweet, perfect. The best part is it was a half-truth. But the look on Superman's face said that maybe it wasn’t such a perfect lie. Shit… he has super hearing doesn't he Billy froze, he can hear heartbeats. He was so fucked.

“Do you… know which direction?” Superman’s whole body language changed, he knew Billy was lying. But he was playing along? If this is some tactic to get him to cave, it was not gonna work on Billy fucking Batson.

“Dunno” Billy shrugged as he slowly inched his way back, “Thank you again Superman!” Billy was about to run off when Superman spoke again.

“Your face when you lie is perfect, then again to have a good lie you need to tell some truth. What really happened?” Superman’s voice was that of an angry parent. And it pissed Billy off. But he kept his composure. 

“I don’t know where he went” Billy shrugged, he knew he couldn’t outrun Superman. So he just had to get Supe to leave.

“Okay then, how about I take you home? Where do you live?” That caught Billy off guard. Take him home? Billy laughed. “Is something funny?” Superman was serious. He seriously was gonna take Billy home?! Now Billy was panicking, how does he tell him he lives all the way in Philly? That's like 3 states over!

“Oh uh no, I um. I don’t live far, I can walk…” Billy hoped Superman would lay off. And Zeus must have been looking down because Superman nodded.

“Be safe kid” Superman said before he flew off. After a couple of seconds, Billy let out a sigh of relief.

“Thank the Gods for that” Billy put up his red hoodie hood before he turned around, eminently walking into something, more like someone. The pure force of them knocked Billy to the ground, grunting as he looked up to meet the person's eyes. His blood ran cold as time seemed to stop.

“ Batman ”