Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

INT. FUNCTION ROOM - DAY

We see PARIS GELLAR, frustrated and marching to and fro, while LOUISE GRANT and MADELINE LYNN watch with cringe-bared teeth in the center.

MADELINE

Do we tell her?

LOUISE

No, no. Just wait for it - 

PARIS

God!

LOUISE

There it is.

PARIS marches up to Louise and Madeline, blowing her fringe out of her face.

LOUISE

What?

MADELINE

Paris - 

PARIS

No! I don’t wanna hear it.

MADELINE

Fine…

PARIS

Fine? You’re fine. Look at this place!

MADELINE

I like it…

PARIS

Of course you would, Madeline, it’s as empty as the space between your ears.

Madeline goes red, while Louise glances away with an exhale and widening eyes, and Paris sniffs her underarms and shake-flaps her arms.

PARIS

Do I look OK? Do I?

Louise and Madeline glance at each other. Paris clicks her fingers under their nose.

PARIS

Are you helping?

LOUISE

Yes!

MADELINE

Y-yes!

Paris glares.

PARIS

Good. Now do something helpful.

Louise and Madeline help to unpack board games. Louise squints at one.

LOUISE

Guess Who?

MADELINE

Who?

LOUISE

No, the game.

MADELINE

Oh.

Madeline pauses.

MADELINE

No, I don’t get it.

Louise, with wide eyes kicks it out of sight. Madeline glances at her fingernails and smiles.

MADELINE

You know, I’m thinking of getting a shade of black.

LOUISE

Which one?

Madeline cocks her head this way and that, waggling her fingers, while Louise comes up from the side.

MADELINE

I can’t decide. Maybe the darkest there is.

LOUISE

Sounds good.

MADELINE

What’s that called…

Louise shrugs.

LOUISE

I dunno. Black-black?

Madeline nods.

MADELINE

Got it. I’ll just tell Paris…

Paris can be seen marching, glaring towards them.

MADELINE

OK, I’ve got to pop to the ladies’.

LOUISE

Me too.

Paris watches them go, raising her arms.

PARIS

Guys!

LOUISE

We’ll be back!

Paris glares after them.

PARIS

You better be!

Paris turns, to many tables set up with board games and folding chairs.

PARIS

God!

Tana Shrick appears out of nowhere, and makes PAris leap.

PARIS

Don’t jump up on me like that!

TANA

Oh, I’m sorry, Paris.

PARIS

Yeah, whatever.

TANA

I’m here to help!

PARIS turns with a sharp eye.

PARIS

You?

TANA

Yes! You see - 

Paris points, and Tana stares.

PARIS

Well?

Tana gulps.

TANA

I’ll make myself useful.

PARIS watches her go, shaking her head. She glances over to the door leading to the ladies’.

PARIS

You’d better be back there!

PARIS waits, scoffs and turns, marching off.

Chapter Text

EXT. APARTMENT - DAY

We see ANDREA SACHS, swinging her handbag over her arm with folded arms, quite happily while chewing on her lip waiting, and the front door of an apartment opens, and EMILY CHARLTON comes down the steps.

ANDREA

Em!

EMILY

Oh, you’re here.

ANDREA

Of course I’m here. Did you think I wouldn’t make it?

Emily pauses.

EMILY

Andrea. Do I look alright?

ANDREA

Of course. You look great in everything!

EMILY

Good. Now let’s get going.

ANDREA

You try flagging down a taxi. I never have much luck…

EMILY

We’re not going in a taxi.

ANDREA

We’re not?

EMILY

No. I’ve called a car from Elias-Clark.

ANDREA

But - 

A car pulls up, and the chauffeur exits to open the door for Emily. She gets in, and Andrea makes to enter, but the chauffeur closes the door.

Emily glances through the window, where Andrea taps on the window. Emily frowns, gestures, and mouths.

Andrea pauses, then Emily rolls her eyes and sighs. Her voice is only just audible through the car.

EMILY

The other side! Honestly, Andrea.

Andy obliges, and gets in the other side of the backseat.

ANDREA

Sorry.

Emily sniffs.

EMILY

Yes, well. 

The car sets off, and Emily glances out the window, while Andrea cranes her neck to see ahead, tapping on her knees.

ANDREA

So…

EMILY

Yes?

ANDREA

Well, I just thought we might like to chat on the way there.

Emily continues glancing out the window. Andrea glances over.

ANDREA

Well?

EMILY

Do I look like I need a conversation?

Andrea pauses.

ANDREA

No.

Emily pulls out her cell phone, flips it open, presses a few buttons then sniffs, putting it back in her handbag, glancing out the window.

Andrea, watching this, runs her hands over her knees, up and then back to her knees again. Her shoulders are slightly slumped.

ANDREA

I’m just saying - 

EMILY

Stop it, Andrea.

ANDREA

You might like - 

EMILY

No.

Andrea sucks in her lips, glancing out her window. Emily pauses, glances over, then forward, rolling her eyes.

EMILY

Fine…

Andrea turns and smiles.

ANDREA

OK, so, how was your day?

Emily purses her lips, the driver catches her look in the rearview mirror. Emily sits back and folds her arms.

EMILY

Well, I had a couple peanuts for breakfast. Had a morning jog on my treadmill and watched that old movie.

ANDREA

Which one?

Emily sniffs.

EMILY

Breakfast at Tiffany’s. The one from the fifties.

Andrea glances out her window, while Emily glances at her nails.

ANDREA

I think that was from the sixties, Em.

Emily flutter-rolls her eyes, then glances out her window.

ANDREA

Well?

Emily pauses, then turns.

EMILY

What?

Andrea glances at Emily, who raises her eyebrows.

ANDREA

Aren’t you going to ask me how my day went?

Emily sighs, glancing to the driver.

EMILY

How much longer?

Andrea’s eyes soften, then she puts on leg over the other knee, folding her arms.

EMILY

Honestly, Andrea.

ANDREA

You could pay a little bit of attention, you know.

Emily flicks at a piece of lint on her skirt.

EMILY

Fine.

Andrea purses her lips and turns. Emily slowly nods as she rolls her eyes. Andrea smiles and nods.

ANDREA

OK, so. I woke up - 

The car pulls to a stop. The chauffeur glances in the rearview mirror.

CHAUFFEUR

We’re here, misses.

Emily bolts from the back seat and exits the car.

EMILY

Thank god!

Andrea opens her door, frowning.

ANDREA

Hey!

Chapter Text

INT. LABORATORY - DAY

We see REED RICHARDS, wearing a white lab coat over his clothes, patting his pockets.

REED

Keys - where are my keys?

SUE STORM wanders over, with a smile and holding up a pair of keys.

SUE

Here, genius.

Reed smiles and Sue kisses him on the cheek.

REED

Oh, there they are. You. And you.

Sue giggles, and glances over her shoulder.

SUE

Johnny!

Johnny Storm comes into sight, in a fitted shirt and zipping up his jeans.

JOHNNY

Coming!

Reed glances behind.

REED

Oh, and Ben? Ben, where are you?

BEN

Here, Reed.

Ben Grimm (in human form) walks over, casting an eye up and down at Johnny.

BEN

You look nice.

Reed pushes the button for the elevator. Sue holds his hand and squeezes, glancing up at him while Reed smiles at her. Johnny wrinkle-frowns at Ben.

JOHNNY

Well, gee. A compliment from the supermodel himself.

BEN

Hey!

JOHNNY

I’m just sayin’.

The elevator dings and the four walk in. The elevator arrives and Reed is on his phone, while Sue has her arms folded and walks out first, sighing.

REED

That’s terrific!

SUE

What’s terrific?

The four go outside, to the mild snap of paparazzi, and get into a car. Sue drives, putting on her seatbelt and glaring in the rearview mirror. Everyone quickly buckles.

Reed hangs up. Sue brightly smiles at Reed.

REED

OK, are we all set?

Johnny does a thumbs-up.

JOHNNY

A-OK!

Sue tries to catch Reed’s glance as he tucks his cell phone into his pocket.

SUE

Ready?

REED

Oh, yes, Sue.

Sue smiles, keying the ignition, driving out only to wait in beeping traffic. She purses her lips and chews on her lower lip, tapping on the steering well.

SUE

So?

Reed pauses, glancing to Sue.

REED

So?

SUE

Who was that?

Reed smiles.

REED

Well, it was one of the professors from - 

JOHNNY

Oh, boy. Not another experiment.

SUE

Reed!

Reed gestures, his face alight.

REED

Hear me out.

Johnny glances to Sue and nods.

REED

It’s gonna be an experiment.

Ben glances at Johnny.

BEN

He’ll take the power you use for your hair dryer and use it to make zero-point energy or somethin’!

Reed laughs and nods.

REED

I wish. But, Sue - 

SUE

You promised you wouldn’t spend more hours at the office.

REED

And I won’t - hey, the office is at home - 

Sue pouts.

SUE

I only see you when you climb into bed at 2am…

REED

I’m just downstairs!

Sue sighs. Reed closes his mouth. Johnny and Ben glance at each other.

Sue slams the steering wheel, and they all jump.

SUE

Oh, come on!

The traffic slightly budges. Sue glances at the men in the car.

SUE

Sorry.

Chapter Text

INT. FUNCTION ROOM - DAY

We see KAREN WALKER leading the group consisting of WILL TRUMAN, GRACE ADLER and JACK MCFARLAND.

Karen sighs and screws up her face.

KAREN

Why do we have to be here, I hate it here!

Grace walks over to Karen, a little frown and smile on her face.

GRACE

Karen, c’mon. It’s good to shake things up a little. Let your hair down.

Karen leans back a little and looks at Grace.

KAREN

Speaking of, honey, what’s that rat nest you call a hairdo? I call it a hair-won’t! Ha-ha-ha, oh…

Grace smiles lightly, pityingly.

GRACE

Come on, Kare…

Grace, leading Karen who is surprised and a little miffed, towards one of the tables of board games.

Jack, using his finger as a mustache, turns to Will who has his arms folded.

WILL

What, genius?

JACK

I’m thinking of getting one. Whaddaya think?

WILL

I’d say… 

Will claps Jack around the ears, who winces, then Will rubs his hands and walks towards a table where Louise and Madeline sit. Louise sighs while Madeline paints her nails.

WILL

So, where do we sign up?

Louise glances up.

LOUISE

Huh?

Jack comes to Will’s side, smiling at Will admiringly before turning to Louise and nodding. Will frowns.

WILL

The board games. Do we sign up?

Louise, widening her eyes, points.

LOUISE

They’re over there!

Madeline, gives a little chuckle and a shake.

MADELINE

Yeah!

Will frowns, turning to lead Jack towards a table.

WILL

That was unfriendly.

Jack scoffs.

JACK

Yeah! I mean, what is that nail colour?

We see KAREN and GRACE sitting opposite REED and SUE. They have a game of Guess Who set up.

Karen is frowning at her side, Grace looks alternately from the board to Karen. Reed frowns, leaning in with his hand on his lip. Sue sits with her hands between her legs, removing them to brush a strand of hair and smiling to place a hand on Reed’s back, turning to Karen.

SUE

Your turn.

Karen continues to stare the board.

KAREN

Hmm…

Grace glances to Sue, they share a smile, then Grace glances to Karen.

GRACE

Kare?

Karen does not look up.

KAREN

Yeah?

Grace giggles a little.

GRACE

It’s your turn.

Karen sighs.

KAREN

Oh, honey, I know…

Karen sighs.

KAREN

Are you…

Reed and Sue lean in slightly, Reed more than Sue.

KAREN

Are you an immigrant?

Reed pauses, glancing at his card. He glances up at Karen, who looks bored.

REED

Well - 

Reed glances at Sue, who pauses, then shakes her head. Reed glances at his character card, exhaling.

REED

No.

Karen flips down several characters and puts her hand on her elbow and leans her chin on it. Grace smiles.

GRACE

Well done, Karen!

Karen rolls her eyes pointedly to the ceiling, and glances at Sue with raised eyebrows.

Chapter Text

INT. FUNCTION ROOM - DAY

We see HYACINTH BUCKET entering, in a whirl and smile gadding with her hands about and glancing to the door with a frown.

HYACINTH

Elizabeth!

ELIZABETH

Right here, Hyacinth!

Elizabeth walks through, patting down her house dress. She glances around the room as does Hyacinth, who widely smiles.

HYACINTH

Oh, my Sheridan loves these sort of things.

ELIZABETH

Is he here?

HYACINTH

Well no, dear. He’s still at the uni - I mean, the polytechnic.

Hyacinth nods as Elizabeth sucks in her lips.

HYACINTH

He’s done very well as the cross stitch, but I can tell you Richard’s been spending a fortune on the patterns, but you know it’s all above board.

ELIZABETH

Is he enjoying it?

Hyacinth curdle-smiles in a closed-eyes shake of her head.

HYACINTH

Oh, you know how young people are - 

Hyacinth opens her eyes and points.

HYACINTH

Look! There’s one we might try, dear.

Hyacinth hurries off, leaving Elizabeth, who pauses.

ELIZABETH

What, a young person?

Elizabeth hurries to follow Hyacinth, who places both hands suddenly on a table and sits down.

HYACINTH

Oh, I love games!

Emily and Andrea glance up, where they smile in unison, with some surprise and glance at each other. Hyacinth adjusts her bag on her lap, and Elizabeth pulls a chair beside Hyacinth and sits down.

HYACINTH

Not there, dear.

Elizabeth catches Emily and Andrea’s eye and moves her chair to the other side of Hyacinth. Hyacinth fusses and adjusts her hat.

HYACINTH

Now! What are we playing?

Emily opens her mouth but Andrea brightly smiles.

ANDREA

Charades!

Emily gives Andrea a withering look. Hyacinth clutches her hands, and Elizabeth, pained, nods quickly.

ELIZABETH

Lovely!

HYACINTH

Oh, I love charades!

Emily lowers her voice to Andrea.

EMILY

Charades?

Andrea lowers her voice.

ANDREA

Yes, it’s fun!

Andrea turns to Hyacinth and Elizabeth with a smile. Emily does too, with a slightly more irritated and pained look.

Hyacinth stands up suddenly, and steps back.

HYACINTH

OK, I’ll go first.

Elizabeth nods and stares, hands in her lap. Andrea glances between the two of them, eyes bright. Emily chews her lip, glancing Hyacinth up and down, same to Elizabeth, then sniffing and leaning on the table with her elbow, stroking her upper lip with her finger, a slight smile on her face.

Hyacinth holds up two fingers.

ELIZABETH

Two words!

Hyacinth makes a fist and gestures with the other in a circular fashion.

ELIZABETH

Movie! Film!

Hyacinth nods, glancing around, then holds up a finger. Elizabeth’s chair squeaks under her as she shifts, and Emily glances at her, her smile widening, and Andrea does a silent clap of her hands, bringing her palms together, jittering this way and that with a smile.

ELIZABETH

First word!

Hyacinth makes an expression, then measures a gap of air with her thumb and first finger.

ELIZABETH

Erm - uh - To? The!

Hyacinth points and nods, then glances around, Emily and Andrea watching, and Hyacinth holds up two fingers.

ELIZABETH

Second word!

Hyacinth holds her finger to her mouth, dithering, then glances around and does an on-the-spot sashay.

ELIZABETH

Er, um, dance? Play!

Hyacinth suddenly lays the back of her hand against her forehead, swooning.

ELIZABETH

Er - um - 

Hyacinth shakes her head with a frown. Elizabeth wrings her hands. Emily pinches her lower lip, her smile showing. Andrea with fists balled in front of her, brightly smiles and nods.

Hyacinth swoons again, and Elizabeth puts a fist to her mouth, baring her teeth.

ELIZABETH

Um, er - 

Hyacinth makes a finger pistol in front of her, pretending to fire, then suddenly swoons with the back of her hand held to her forehead.

EMILY

Time!

Elizabeth slumps, and Hyacinth stands with hands on hips to Elizabeth.

ELIZABETH

I’m sorry, Hyacinth!

Hyacinth glares at Elizabeth as she gets back into her seat. Andrea leans over.

ANDREA

What did you have?

Hyacinth glances at Emily, gesturing with her head at Elizabeth and shaking her head.

HYACINTH

It’s a classic, I don’t know why you didn’t get it Elizabeth.

ANDREA

What was it?

Hyacinth struggles to articulate it, then opens her mouth.

HYACINTH

The Matrix.

Elizabeth’s eyes widen, Emily covers her mouth with her hand and chuckles, Andrea bites her lip and smiles brightly, nodding.

ELIZABETH

Oh!

Hyacinth adjusts her handbag on her lap, sniffing.

HYACINTH

Yes, dear…

ELIZABETH

Well, Hyacinth, I tried very hard!

Hyacinth settles herself, glancing ahead wistfully.

HYACINTH

Yes, I’m sure you did, dear.

Elizabeth looks put out and glances to Emily and Andrea with a pout. Emily turns to Andrea.

EMILY

You go.

ANDREA

Me?

EMILY

Yes, you, Andrea.

Andrea smiles, and rises. Emily sits back on her chair, folding her arms. Hyacinth looks a little disgruntled, while Andrea makes gestures, and Emily shouts out words, staccato. Elizabeth jumps at Hyacinth’s tone.

HYACINTH

You really should’ve tried harder, Elizabeth.

ELIZABETH

Hyacinth, they’re playing!

Hyacinth curdle-pouts and rocks a bit from side to side.

HYACINTH

If only my Sheridan were here…

Hyacinth glances around the room. Elizabeth sucks in her lip and watches Andrea and Emily, nodding and smiling. Andrea is flapping her arms. Emily is frowning.

Emily laughs and Andrea drops her arms and frowns.

EMILY

Oh, I have to tell Serena about this.

Andrea puts her hands on her hips and frowns.

ANDREA

Em!

EMILY

Oh, I don’t know.

ELIZABETH

Oh, I know!

Andrea and Emily glance at Elizabeth. Elizabeth sinks in her chair, while Hyacinth continues to look around.

Chapter Text

INT. FUNCTION ROOM - DAY

We see SUSAN MAYER and EDIE BRITT sitting around a table, with two occupants out of sight. There is a Monopoly board on the table.

Susan steeples her fingers under her lip and exhales, while Edie glances over.

EDIE

Susan!

SUSAN

Ah! Edie, I was concentrating.

EDIE

I know. You have that look on your face that turns men away.

Susan frowns.

EDIE

Oh, Edie. I’m just hoping I get a good dice roll.

Edie glances at the other two occupants, still out of sight, and shakes her head with rolling her eyes to the ceiling and back to Susan again.

Susan clenches the dice in both palms scrunched together, closes her eyes, grits her teeth, makes a manic face, then lets go of the dice, her mouth open and a hopeful expression.

EDIE

Well, I hope you don’t always pull that face…

The dice comes to a stop.

SUSAN

Three!

EDIE

Ha-ha!

SUSAN

Oh, rats.

Susan pouts with her lower lip protruding, extending her arm to pick up her token and move it three spaces. Edie, mouth slightly open, leans over to glance down, and sits back, smiling.

Susan frowns.

SUSAN

Baltic Avenue?

Edie glances at the unseen two opposite, laughing lightly as she glances at the board.

EDIE

It’s perfect for you! Just the piece of crap you deserve. Will you buy it?

SUSAN

Oh, I suppose…

Susan blows a raspberry and hands over some cash, and a man’s arm reaches out to hand Susan a card. Susan smiles, leaning slightly in Edie’s direction.

SUSAN

You know, Edie. If you land there, you can pay me rent.

Edie chuckles, taking the dice in her hand, rolling them with a glance to where the man’s hand had come from, then dropping the dice, her mouth slightly open, her hair hanging over the board.

EDIE

Yeah, right, Mayer.

Edie frowns and pouts, and Susan clench-fists and raises her hands in the air.

SUSAN

A-ha! You have to pay me, Edie!

Edie sighs, and hands Susan a note.

EDIE

Do you have change for $500?

Susan flicks through her money.

SUSAN

Er, how much?

Edie sighs and shakes her head, holding up two fingers.

EDIE

Two dollars, Mayer!

SUSAN

Oh, right.

Susan gives Edie change, and takes her two dollars with a smile. Edie shakes her head witheringly and glances, with raised eyebrows, to the two unseen people opposite.

EDIE

It’s the most money she’s had in her life, ha!

Susan shakes her head a little, still smiling, glancing up over her money.

SUSAN

Your turn!

We see that WILL TRAYNOR and LOUISA CLARK sit opposite. Louisa is wearing striped yellow socks and a big smile, while Will, not in a wheelchair, wears bespoke, well-fitted clothes.

Louisa raises her eyebrows, smiling.

LOUISA

Go on, Will.

WILL

I will, Clark…

Will takes up the dice, and all three women watch him. Will drops the dice, and the women lean in slightly.

LOUISA grins.

LOUISA

Seven!

WILL smiles slightly as he moves his token. He makes to pick up a Chance card, but LOUISA snatches it up first.

WILL

Clark…

LOUISA, smiling brightly, slaps his hand away as she reads, her eyes tight and scrunched and glowing.

LOUISA slowly glances at WILL with dawning, rising volume.

LOUISA

You advance to Boardwalk!

WILL rolls his eyes and grins at LOUISA, who claps her hand, the card falling to her lap.

LOUISA

Oh, well done, Will!

Edie has grit teeth.

EDIE

Yes…

Susan nudges Edie.

SUSAN

Edie!

Edie’s eyes widen.

EDIE

I’m sorry, jeez, it just seems rigged!

WILL smiles and LOUISA watches, smilingly, as WILL picks up his token and lands on Boardwalk. Edie sighs and puts her hand through her hair, pursing her lips and looking around.

WILL

I’ll take it.

LOUISA gives a little giggle and cheers.

LOUISA

Yeah you will!

WILL pays the money to the bank and collects the card.

WILL

Your turn, Clark.

LOUISA

Oh, my turn!

Edie rolls her eyes.

EDIE

Yes! Your turn! Sheesh.

LOUISA, smiling, picks up the dice and rolls it.

LOUISA

Two!

Edie, baring teeth as LOUISA continues to smile, hops her token two spaces.

LOUISA

Community Chest!

Edie clutches her heart and exhales, lowering her voice to Susan.

EDIE

Is she on drugs?

SUSAN

Oh, Edie!

Louisa picks up a card, and Will lays his hand over it.

WILL

Clark.

Louisa frowns at WILL.

LOUISA

Will.

LOUISA

Clark… 

WILL gives Louisa a stern look. Louisa pouts with her eyebrows raised.

EDIE snatches up the card, and LOUISA’s mouth hangs open, her eyes wide, her expression of surprise. WILL frowns.

EDIE chuckles.

EDIE

I’ll do it…

EDIE clears her throat, frowning a little.

EDIE

It’s your birthday… collect ten dollars from every player…

LOUISA covers her mouth.

LOUISA

It’s my birthday?

WILL smiles, laughing.

WILL

Yes, Clark.

LOUISA

Oh my god. Oh my god!

Edie glares and frowns.

EDIE

Oh My God!

SUSAN

Oh, Edie.

Susan smiles and gives the money, as does WILL. Edie sighs, fanning out her money.

SUSAN

You’re such a party pooper.

Chapter Text

INT. FUNCTION ROOM - DAY

We see BLANCHE DEVEREAUX, smiling with a pack of cards held to her bosom, giving a wink.

BLANCHE

Oh, you’re just cute.

STEVE ROGERS, sitting opposite, glances at THOR who chuckles, and ROSE NYLUND giggles beside him. A board game of Articulate sits in the center, with one token on a red space, and another on a dark blue space.

STEVE nods to THOR.

STEVE

Are you ready?

THOR

Of course!

THOR picks up the little hourglass, and it falls over.

THOR

Sorry.

ROSE

Oh, let me - 

ROSE grabs for the hourglass, touching hands, then THOR glances at her, and ROSE flips it over.

ROSE

Go!

BLANCHE, fluttering her eyelashes at STEVE, holds the pack of cards to her. ROSE glances between STEVE, who is stricken, and BLANCHE.

ROSE

Blanche!

BLANCHE jolts.

BLANCHE

Oh, yes!

BLANCHE picks up the first card, and squints at it.

BLANCHE

Ah - uh… it’s what you slip into after a long, hard day.

BLANCHE smiles and cocks her head slightly at STEVE, who blinks, glances away at the floor, then up again, his eyes creasing.

STEVE

A bath?

BLANCHE rigidly shakes her head, her hair barely moving, brightly smiling. She flicks her eyes to the card in her hand, then slightly bares her teeth in a smile, her lower lip gesturing.

BLANCHE

What I slip into. It’s very comfortable…

ROSE stares. THOR glances at the little hourglass, trying to peer through it.

STEVE frowns up at BLANCHE.

STEVE

A hot tub? Jacuuzi?

BLANCHE frowns and shakes her head, giving a little shimmy.

STEVE pauses, baring his teeth slightly with a frown. BLANCHE nods, glancing at the card then up again.

BLANCHE

Come on!

STEVE

I’m trying!

THOR chuckles.

THOR

Halfway gone…

BLANCHE pouts and puts the card down.

BLANCHE

I skip that one…

BLANCHE picks up another card. THOR picks up the discarded card, turns it over and pauses, chuckling. He leans over to show ROSE, who glances, squinting.

ROSE

Oh. Ha-ha! I would’ve got that one!

THOR

Ha-ha.

BLANCHE squints at her card. STEVE flicks his eyes to the hourglass, then back to BLANCHE.

BLANCHE resettles herself and smiles at STEVE.

BLANCHE

If you and I were on a date, you might… something… me around the park.

STEVE glances at THOR with a worried look, then glances at the floor.

STEVE

Accompany?

BLANCHE, barely moving, gives a stiff shake of her head, her smile wavering. She glances at the hourglass.

STEVE clicks his fingers several times, closing his eyes, opening them again.

STEVE

Another clue?

BLANCHE huffs and smiles brightly, pouting and raising her eyebrows.

BLANCHE

It’s a type of festival - 

THOR

Time!

STEVE throws up his hands.

BLANCHE

Oh!

ROSE

So close! Were you about to get that one?

STEVE puts his hands back on his knees.

STEVE

Is it carnival?

BLANCHE tosses the card at him. STEVE, frowning, picks it up and then shows the others.

STEVE

Parade?

BLANCHE flutters her eyelashes and gives a little chuckle to the others, returning to STEVE.

STEVE sighs.

STEVE

And what was the other one?

THOR grins and ROSE places her hand over STEVE’s.

ROSE

Lingerie, dear.

STEVE glances at BLANCHE, who chuckles, smiles with the tip of her tongue out and winks.

ROSE

Oh!

ROSE claps her hands.

ROSE

Our turn!

THOR grins and nods, picking up the deck of cards. BLANCHE turns to watch them, head cocked to the side, folding her arms with the palm of her hand supporting her chin.

STEVE clears his throat and glances between ROSE and THOR. ROSE watches THOR. THOR smiles and looks down at his card.

THOR

A - 

BLANCHE squeals.

BLANCHE

Wait!

BLANCHE reaches over and turns the little hourglass. She nods at STEVE with a smile who amiably smiles and turns to THOR with a nod.

THOR smiles at BLANCHE and turns to glance at the card in front of him. His eyes flick up to ROSE, whose mouth is slightly open, her eyes wide.

THOR

It’s one of those creatures that humans think are real - 

ROSE

Oh, oh, unicorn!

THOR shakes his head, glancing to the card. BLANCHE flaps her hand at ROSE.

BLANCHE

Guess again!

STEVE turns to BLANCHE.

STEVE

She’s on the other team!

BLANCHE, glancing at STEVE, mouth slightly open, nods slightly. She turns to ROSE, glancing quickly at STEVE whose expression is intent, and then to THOR.

THOR

Keep going.

BLANCHE

Just say anything!

STEVE glances at BLANCHE, who laughs and winks, turning serious as they both glance at THOR and ROSE.

ROSE wrings her hands.

ROSE

Uh - uh - manticore! Um - ah - dragon!

THOR shakes his head. He puts down the card, and STEVE slides it over to himself to look at it, and BLANCHE looks over his shoulder, mouth slightly open.

BLANCHE

Now what do you call that?

STEVE glances at BLANCHE and meets her gaze. THOR, meanwhile, picks from the top of the deck, while ROSE glances at the little hourglass, flicking back to THOR.

ROSE

Quickly!

THOR clears his throat, glancing up to ROSE.

THOR

Where we are right now!

ROSE

Oh, oh, a room! Space! A city!

THOR

Yes, yes, which city?

ROSE

Um - New York!

STEVE

Time!

ROSE

Yes!

ROSE slumps, breathing hard. THOR grins, STEVE exhales and BLANCHE fans herself with her hand.

THOR

That’s moving forward - right?

STEVE

Right.

THOR

And one space…

THOR looks delicately over the board, moving his token. BLANCHE sucks in her lips and bites her lip, chuckling. STEVE runs a hand through his hair. ROSE screws the lid on a bottle of water.

ROSE

Jeez Louise, no wonder it says on the box only players age twelve and up!

The others look at ROSE, who swallows and flaps her hand.

ROSE

It’s your turn!

ROSE glances side eye at THOR, sharing a glance, then they both sit back and watch.

Chapter Text

INT. FUNCTION ROOM - DAY

We see MICHELLE FLAHERTY sitting with a notepad and pen, smiling, and looking around at a group of people out of sight.

MICHELLE

OK! I want everyone to close their eyes…

MICHELLE clicks her pen, smiling to varying degrees.

MICHELLE

Could I have just the werewolf open their eyes?

We see JAMES COOK, open his eye with a wide smile showing his teeth. MICHELLE nods and smiles, scribbling on her notepad.

MICHELLE

And close your eyes. Can we please have the seer open their eyes?

We see JASON STACKHOUSE, opening his eyes and grinning a little, then closing his eyes. MICHELLE scribbles on her pad. 

MICHELLE

And can we have the sorceress open their eyes?

We see MARY CRAWLEY, opening her eyes with a sly smirk, then closing her eyes.

MICHELLE nods, then glances around at everyone who has their eyes closed, where we can additionally see JOHNNY CHASE and CECE PAREKH.

MICHELLE gestures.

MICHELLE

And everyone open!

MICHELLE smiles as everyone opens their eyes. COOK glances around, carefree and hissing through his teeth.

COOK

So who’s the werewolf, then?

MARY

Not me, I hope.

COOK smirks at MARY, then glances around the room, raising his eyebrows.

DRAMA shrugs when everyone looks at him.

DRAMA

It ain’t me!

COOK glances to CECE.

CECE

You, babe?

CECE raises her eyebrows and purses her lips.

CECE

What about you?

Everyone glances to COOK, who frowns and holds up his hands.

COOK

Hey, now!

MICHELLE checks her notepad then hugs it to her chest.

MICHELLE

Perhaps everyone would like to do introductions?

Everyone glances at each other. Michelle glances at Cece.

MICHELLE

Shall we begin to my right?

CECE glances at MICHELLE and nods, smiling, then glances around at everyone else who watches her.

CECE

Hi, I’m Cece.

Cece clears her throat, her hair swinging around her shoulders, her posture straight.

CECE

I’m a villager.

COOK snort-chuckles, DRAMA shakes his head, MARY sucks in her lips and raises her eyebrows, glancing at her card held to her chest, then to MICHELLE.

JASON chuckles a little as everyone turns to him.

JASON

Uh, yeah. Hey. I’m Jason Stackhouse. Uh, I’m a lumberjack.

Everyone turns to MARY, who raises her chin.

MARY

Well, I don’t know why you’re all looking at me. I’m as innocent as a lamb, promise…

Everyone turns to COOK, whose smile has not dropped, and who occasionally chuckles.

COOK

Well, I’m Cook.

Cook turns serious, and clears his throat.

COOK

I’m a humble fisherman. Pulling in fish, you know.

COOK glances up to CECE, who widens her eyes and glances away. COOK glances to DRAMA.

DRAMA

Well, I’m an actor.

TURTLE

No, you ain’t!

DRAMA glances over his shoulder, where TURTLE sits grinning.

DRAMA

Shut up, jerk off!

DRAMA turns, rattled and shaking it off. Michelle nods.

MICHELLE

And who are you?

DRAMA looks again at the group, then to MICHELLE. DRAMA shrugs.

DRAMA

I’m a villager!

Michelle nods slowly, then everyone glances at each other, and some at Michelle occasionally.

MICHELLE

Well, we could always go to night…

JASON

Wait!

Jason raises his hand. Michelle blinks, then nods.

MICHELLE

Yes, Jason?

JASON

Thanks, teacher - 

Michelle frowns and Jason lowers his hand.

JASON

Uh, one of us is the werewolf, right?

MARY

Spoken like a true werewolf.

Jason slaps his chest.

JASON

Uh-uh! Not me!

Jason glances around the room, swallowing.

JASON

Uh. I’m just sayin’, shouldn’t we vote?

MARY

But we don’t know anything… we want to be sure we eliminate the right person.

JASON

Huh.

CECE

Yeah.

Everyone glances at Cece.

CECE

If we get rid of the wrong person, we could eliminate the Seer.

Cece glances at Mary, and nods. Cook points between Cece and Mary, grinning.

COOK

What was that?

Mary, holding her card to her chest, frowns.

MARY

What was what?

Cook, smiling as he glances between the two of them, nods.

COOK

That.

Mary glances to Cece, their expressions becoming identical.

MARY

What? A nod?

Cece exasperatedly glances at Cook.

CECE

You want to go to a vote?

Cook laughs.

COOK

Yeah!

Mary clears her throat.

MARY

I accuse Cook!

Cook blanches, and Cece catches Mary’s glance and smiles.

CECE

I second that!

MICHELLE

Ooh-kay… 

Michelle sits cross-legged, rocking back and forth, clapping a little.

MICHELLE

It’s starting.

Cook glances at everyone, serious, then manic-grinning. He points at himself.

COOK

You can’t think old Cookie’s a monster?

MARY and CECE glance expectantly at JASON. Jason nods.

JASON

Hell yeah! Sign me up on the bandwagon!

Michelle nods.

MICHELLE

Then let’s take it to a vote!

Cook laughs loudly.

COOK

But I’m innocent!

Michelle raises her eyebrows.

MICHELLE

Is that your speech?

COOK grips his stomach and throws back his head, his face creased in a smile.

COOK

I don’t got nothin’ to prove, babe. I’m just a fisherman.

Michelle makes a lifting gesture with her palms, the notepad turned over in her lap.

MICHELLE

Everyone raise their fists… if you think Cook should live, give a thumbs up! And if he should be eliminated, give a thumbs down. Ready?

Everyone nods, and Cook laughs, holding out his fist.

COOK

Well, I’m not gonna kill myself, am I?

MARY purses her lips and glances at CECE, who nods. Everyone holds out their fists.

MICHELLE

One - two - three!

COOK grins and gives a thumbs up. MARY, CECE, JASON and DRAMA gives a thumbs down.

MICHELLE claps her hands.

MICHELLE

That’s game over!

MARY exhales and smiles at CECE. JASON scratches his head.

JASON

Is that it?

COOK laughs and flips over his card.

COOK

Bad draw…

TURTLE glances over DRAMA’s shoulder.

TURTLE

Hey, what’d you get, Drama?

DRAMA

Never mind…

TURTLE snatches up DRAMA’s card, and flips it over. DRAMA reaches for it as TURTLE stands, grinning and laughing, flipping the card over to show everyone.

TURTLE

The village idiot!

DRAMA glances at everyone, then up at Turtle.

DRAMA

You’re the village idiot, dumbass!

TURTLE

Not according to this!

DRAMA gets up and chases TURTLE who runs off, their voices reverberating around the room. MARY sighs, CECE pulls at her hair, JASON ruffles his hair and sniffs.

JASON

So, what do we do next?

Michelle collects up the cards and shuffles them.

MICHELLE

We play another game!

Chapter Text

INT. FUNCTION ROOM - DAY

We see PARIS GELLAR sitting across from TANA at a table, with a chess board between them. PARIS’ mouth is tight while TANA reaches to pick up a pawn, PARIS raises her eyebrows, then TANA shakes her head and lets it go.

PARIS

Oh, come on!

TANA jolts, and PARIS stands and walks off. MADELINE, blowing on her nails, glances up. LOUISE shakes her head and flips a page of her magazine, bobbing one leg on the other knee.

TANA and MADELINE catch each other’s gaze.

MADELINE

I’ll play!

TANA

Sure!

LOUISE

Madeline, do you even know how to play?

MADELINE

Sure!

Madeline sits opposite Tana.

MADELINE

The little horsey can go diagonal…

TANA and MADELINE duck their head to their game while LOUISE watches. PARIS walks among the tables, her stride swift, her hands behind her back, twisting her fingers as she walks.

PARIS walks past JACK MCFARLAND sitting opposite JOHNNY STORM playing Guess Who.

JOHNNY frowns over at JACK, who has interlocked his fingers and is resting his chin on them with a smile.

PARIS walks over to where HYACINTH and ELIZABETH are watching EMILY and ANDREA playing charades.

EMILY

Keep trying, Andrea.

ELIZABETH

I don’t think you’re supposed to talk!

PARIS walks past SUSAN, EDIE, LOUISA and WILL playing Monopoly.

SUSAN

I roll a twelve!

SUSAN’s smile drops. EDIE laughs.

EDIE

Oh-ho, right to jail… suits you right.

PARIS walks over to where BLANCHE and STEVE, and THOR and ROSE play Articulate.

ROSE holds a card.

ROSE

OK, so this little icon means everyone gets to answer… 

THOR

But you have to give a clue that I’ll get.

ROSE

Right.

THOR

So we get our turn.

ROSE

OK… 

ROSE clears her throat, and PARIS moves on.

PARIS reaches a group of beanbags where MICHELLE FLAHERTY sits with JOHNNY DRAMA, MARY CRAWLEY, CECE PAREKH, JASON STACKHOUSE AND JAMES COOK in a circle.

PARIS glares.

PARIS

This isn’t time out!

MICHELLE glances up.

MICHELLE

Excuse me?

PARIS goes rigid.

PARIS

You’re supposed to play a game, not talk! I didn’t rent this space for nothing!

PARIS jumps at a tap on her shoulder, and MICHELLE and the others turn back and talk amongst themselves, casting glances at PARIS.

PARIS turns to see KAREN WALKER standing with a martini.

KAREN

OK, honey. Honey - 

PARIS

Oh, who are you?

KAREN laughs and gestures.

KAREN

Honey, this party is a bust.

PARIS glares as KAREN nods and cocks her head. She turns to everyone and raises her voice.

KAREN

Dinner at my penthouse! Ha-ha!

PARIS whirls, and sees many people rising.

PARIS

No, wait! I’ll pay! I can play! C’mon, it’s real fun - 

PARIS watches, downtrodden as everyone begins to leave, giving their thanks. LOUISE and MADELINE sidle up to PARIS.

MADELINE

I had fun, Paris.

TANA wanders by.

TANA

Me too!

PARIS glares.

PARIS

Yeah, ‘cos you were the target audience.

PARIS gives a short, shrill yell then becomes serious.

PARIS

I hate New York!

Chapter Text

EXT. NEW YORK - STREETS - NIGHT

We see a chauffeured Town Car, in which Thor sits in the front seat, and Emily and Andrea sit in the back seat on either side of Steve.

Thor sniffs and glances somewhat over his shoulder.

THOR

So. What are we having?

Emily frowns.

EMILY

For dinner?

THOR

Yeah.

EMILY

I’m on a diet.

ANDREA

Do you think it’s free?

Steve turns to Andrea.

STEVE

Is what free?

ANDREA

The food.

Emily rolls her eyes.

EMILY

Oh, honestly, Andrea - 

ANDREA

It’s just a question! I can ask a question, can’t I?

Thor chuckles and grins.

THOR

I hope there’s food.

The car comes to an abrupt halt, honking, lights and then the car moves again. Thor turns grim.

THOR

I’d rather fly.

STEVE

I think we all would, pal.

Steve leans forward to squint out the window. Emily and Andrea glance at each other between his back, and when he sits back, they both glance out the window nearest and adopt faux-serious expressions.

CUT TO:

EXT. NEW YORK - STREETS - NIGHT

We see SUSAN and EDIE, shivering as they walk along the footpath, with TURTLE and DRAMA walking ahead.

SUSAN

You will protect us, won’t you?

DRAMA and TURTLE glance over their shoulder. DRAMA up-nods and grins, TURTLE beams and gives the thumbs up.

TURTLE lowers his voice.

TURTLE

I’m banging the blonde.

DRAMA turns and frowns, his voice a hiss.

DRAMA

No way, asshole!

TURTLE

Careful, she’ll hear you!

EDIE rubs her arms, while SUSAN pulls her wool coat closer.

SUSAN

Edie, are you cold?

EDIE chuckles.

EDIE

Oh, please. I wouldn’t wear that old rag…

SUSAN

Gee, thanks.

EDIE

I’m serious! You come out here looking like a pigeon lady…

EDIE strokes a strand of hair from her face, parting her lips as she looks into the distance. Her heels clack on the pavement.

Ahead, DRAMA and TURTLE are in a frantic conversation.

SUSAN

So, what do you think they’re talking about?

EDIE pouts, smirks and shrugs, raising her chin, parting her lips and licking her teeth.

DRAMA points and there is a portico with a white-gloved porter outside. TURTLE rubs his hands.

TURTLE

Let’s make the magic happen, baby!

DRAMA tugs at his collar and sniffs.

DRAMA

They don’t have this kind of weather in LA… this is the East Coast for you, bro.

TURTLE rolls his eyes, and stays back to hold open the door for EDIE and SUSAN, waiting for DRAMA to enter then bashing him with the door.

DRAMA

Watch it!

TURTLE

Ha-ha!

TURTLE enters with DRAMA, and the porter looks worried.

CUT TO:

EXT. NEW YORK - STREETS - NIGHT

We see a smart BMW driven by WILL TRAYNOR, with LOUISA in the front passenger seat, and HYACINTH and ELIZABETH in the back seat.

WILL cranes his neck to look out at the traffic, LOUISA smiles at WILL and fiddles with the glovebox, HYACINTH sniffs and glances out the window with her handbag in her lap, ELIZABETH holds her hand out in front of her.

ELIZABETH

I’m still shaking, Hyacinth!

HYACINTH

Oh, Elizabeth. Not everyone can win, dear.

ELIZABETH

I know, but look!

HYACINTH

What, dear? Is it one of those unmentionables pushing a shopping trolley on the streets?

HYACINTH clicks her teeth.

HYACINTH

You know, it’s a lovely city with some lovely buildings, but they do have the most appalling people wandering at night…

The car comes to a stop at a red light. WILL glances at LOUISA and smiles. LOUISA takes his hand and pout-smiles with crinkling eyes, squeezing his hand. HYACINTH darts her gaze between the two, puffing up.

ELIZABETH points at the window.

ELIZABETH

Oh look, there’s the young people!

We see JASON, CECE, COOK, MARY and MICHELLE walking along the footpath together. MARY and CECE are talking side by side and nodding. MICHELLE is behind them, swinging her arms and smiling up at the sky. JASON, his muscles showing through his singlet, talks to COOK, who lights a cigarette, and laughs and nods.

CUT TO:

INT. NEW YORK - HOTEL LOBBY - NIGHT

We see REED, SUE, JOHNNY, BEN, BLANCHE and ROSE entering the lobby together.

BLANCHE

Oh! Ha-ha.

BEN

Hey, Johnny.

JOHNNY

Yeah?

BEN

That receptionist wanted your number.

BLANCHE and ROSE step to one side, glancing in awe at the paneling and chandelier.

JOHNNY

Really?

BEN smirks, REED and SUE smile at each other, and BEN, REED and SUE get on board an elevator and the doors close.

BLANCHE and ROSE nod and turn to another elevator, which opens. JOHNNY comes running into sight.

JOHNNY

Hey, that was a dude - 

JOHNNY stops, and slumps. He walks into the elevator to join BLANCHE and ROSE.

JOHNNY

Hey, ladies.

BLANCHE fusses with her hair.

BLANCHE

Well, hello…

ROSE giggles.

ROSE

I’m a virgin!

BLANCHE gapes, slowly turning to ROSE. JOHNNY turns, awkwardly. ROSE darts her glance between BLANCHE and JOHNNY.

ROSE

I am!

The elevator doors close.

CUT TO:

INT. NEW YORK - HOTEL LOBBY - NIGHT

We see PARIS GELLAR, red-faced facing the receptionist who picks up at a phone.

PARIS

Do not pick up that phone!

LOUISE

Paris!

We see LOUISE and MADELINE standing near the door.

PARIS

Oh my god, what, Louise?

MADELINE

I’m getting kinda chilly - 

LOUISE

That’s because you left the door open.

MADELINE nods.

MADELINE

I don’t think I’m used to New York.

LOUISE

Whatever…

PARIS turns to the RECEPTIONIST.

PARIS

I was specifically invited - 

RECEPTIONIST

Ma’am - 

PARIS

Don’t ma’am me!

TANA comes in from the cold, holding a lollipop.

TANA

Look, everyone!

PARIS glances over, then back at the RECEPTIONIST.

PARIS

Fine!

CUT TO:

INT. NEW YORK - CORRIDOR - NIGHT

We see WILL TRUMAN, GRACE, JACK and KAREN walking along a plush, elegant corridor leading to a door.

JACK

Will, Will - 

WILL

What, Jack?

JACK

Buy me a board game.

WILL

You already have one, it’s called Jack-Go-Away. It’s where you go away, and everyone wins!

JACK pauses.

JACK

I haven’t heard that one, but let’s play that later!

JACK nods several times and smiles. WILL sighs and rubs his face. GRACE walks up to KAREN who is searching in her handbag and pulls out a set of keys.

GRACE

Hey, Kare?

KAREN

What, Grace?

GRACE

It was really good of you.

KAREN glances over at GRACE.

KAREN

Wha - huh?

GRACE stares.

GRACE

Before?

KAREN frowns, shaking her head.

KAREN

Doesn’t ring a bell…

KAREN scoff-laughs, unlocking and opening the door. GRACE, JACK and WILL stand out in the corridor, about to enter.

KAREN enters and her voice can be heard.

KAREN

Rosie, hide the children and lay out the treats. We got us a bunch of poors to look at life up in the sky, ha-ha!

ROSARIO

Shut it, you drunk! Come on, everybody...

They go inside, the door remains open, and from somewhere, an elevator pings and there is the sound of footsteps and chatter.

THE END