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Chapter Text

Michael laughed as he shoved his little brother's head into one of the animatronics his father designed, then CRUNCH blood had been splattered everywhere. His foxy mask went from its normal bright red color to a deep crimson red that was dripping everywhere. His father was storming over to him and grabbed his shoulder tightly; which was understandable but that doesn’t mean it still hurt. “WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING!” The yelling of his father pierced threw his ears. What was he thinking? His wrist was aching for the grip his father had on him. Then Michael heard a static and loud bang of a door-busting open. He woke up.

“Can you make me breakfast Mike? Fathers not here.” Michael’s little sister Elizabeth asked as she fiddled with her hand.

“Sure, you little gremlin,” Mike said as he got up for the mattress that was placed on the floor. He went downstairs to see his father's normal coffee cup and paper. Mike glanced at it then continued to do as his sister asked and made breakfast. After cleaning up the table and putting the dishes into the sink to wash later that night, he made Liz and himself lunch and put it into two separate bags.

“Go get ready for school, Jeremy is gonna be here soon.” Michael explained to Elizabeth as he was going up the stairs to get dressed. After going into his room, Michael locked the door. He dug up a clean t-shirt, jacket, and pants. He saw himself in the full-body mirror opposite his bed. He pressed his chest flat before putting two sports bras on. Michael shoved his shirt over his head and then put on the jacket he got off the floor of his room.

“Michael!! Jeremy is at the door!” Elizabeth yelled from downstairs. “Fuck- ALRIGHT!!” Michael yelled back. He grabbed his bag and ran down to the front door.

“Hey man!” said Micheal waving to the man with bottle blonde hair.

“Sup dude” Jeremy greeted both Michael and Liz, “You two ready to go?”

“Yeah, I’m ready,” Michael replied

The three of them got into Jeremy's truck. Jeremy tapped Michael's shoulder “hm?" Michael was entirely focused on drawing something. "Did you do the math homework? I was busy last night and forgot to do it."

yeah, busy getting stoned Michael thought. "Oh I'll give it to you at lunch you can copy then." Michael responded then went back to drawing.

It was 20 minutes later and Michael and Jeremy had dropped off Liz at the middle school and were walking into the high school building.

"I know I've asked a lot from you, but do you think you could drive me home? Henry still refuses to" Michaelknew why Henry didn't want to drive Michael home but he didn't really need Jeremy to know why. "Sure! Do you need me to drive Liz home to or is Henry taking her?" Jeremy asked. Him and Michael had an interesting relationship. Consider the fact the they had some stuff happened at a party. Michael just wanted 'stay friends' which was complete bullshit, but think about it only made his heart ache. "Henry's taking Liz home today," Michael answered, "He takes her home every Thursday." Michael started to wonder what his life would be like if he didn't kill his little brother. Would he still be cared about by Henry? Would he ever met Jeremy? Michael was lost in thought

"Mikey?" Jeremy said hoping it would get his attention, "you in there?" "What? Oh yea I'm fine." Michael lost his train of thought which was probably for the better. Michael when inside the building and when to his locker. He put his stuff away. As he turned around he ran into Charlotte Emily.

"Watch where your goin- oh hi Michael!" Charlie waved to Mike and dragged him to math.

__________________

After about 4 classes later, it was lunch. He when to his locker to grab the brown paper bag that had his lunch in it. Until Charlie came over to him. "Can I eat lunch with your friends today?" Charlie asked knowing damn well she could just be with her two friends.

"Sure I guess you can." Michael muttered. He didn't want Charlie there but he felt bad. He grabbed the math homework that he 'forgot' to do and when out to the bleachers. "You eat on the bleachers?" The question from the brunette girl made Michael want to laugh.

"Lord no!" Michael said taking full offence from the previous statement. Michael say down under the bleachers and waited for his three other friends. Michael was humming a tune from a song when Francis came outta nowhere.

"Hey Mike!!!" Francis patted Michael on the head, "Who is this?"

"A friend. I know it's a shock to you I have other friends." Michael was very rude when he said that. Of course he didn't mean for it to be rude he just had some tone issues. Another one of Michael's friends arrived, this time it was John. John was the mother of the group and the only one who didn't have a plethora of issues at home. Making his house the main place to practice for the band Michael and Jeremy started back in middle school.

"Hey John!" Francis said before kissing John's cheek.

Was Francis gay? No of course not because that's wrong. It's a sin or that's what father told him. He was a sinner why did he care?

"Hey John! Nice to see your back from holiday!" Michael greeted him with a smile and a sweet voice that was 100% fake. He was trying to hide the fact he was think very hateful things towards the friends that have only treated him with kindness. Mike waves to the both of them.

"Now we wait for Rosalina and Jeremy." John said.

"Oh Rosalina isn't coming to day." Francis chimed in. "Aw man" Mike disappointedly groaned "what happened?"

"Take a guess." Francis said.

"She better not have gotten detention.. again." John said visibility annoyed

Silents fell over the group. The sounds of people playing football grew louder and louder. One of the guys threw the ball over to the bleachers by 'accident' the loud noise of a ball hitting the metal was loud enough to bother Mike's ears. Mike was pretending to straighten the curly strands of hair that weren't already straightened to distract his brain. It was the one thing he had from his mother and he (for some reason) hated it. Until a very familiar voice said

"Wow I didn't realize how many fags were here" It was Ted Baird. He used to wear the Freddy mask. Ever since '83 he bullied Michael and his new(ish) friends. "Oh look there a rare tranny here to!" the boy behind him spoke up.

"Real mature, Ivan. You know what if I told mom you bully people for being different?" Thank the fucking lord above for Rosalina. Rosalina stood there behind the younger boy who Michael guessed was a freshman. Her dark brown eyes looked made her look like she was trying to pierce threw his head with them.

"She won't do anything. I'm her favorite." Ivan said he was very cocky.

"I'll tell her about your magazine collection." "PLEASE DON'T!" The two continued to argue. It was obnoxious. Michael grabbed his bag and started to eat. He wanted to enjoy something before he threw up.

Jeremy wasn't here yet.. Which was strange. He didn't like it.

"Can you guys take your argument somewhere else it's annoying!" Francis yelled. Francis never yelled. He was a nice guy for the most part, but sometimes he can lose his temper. "Yeah, sorry man. See you later!" Everyone said their goodbyes before Rosalina dragging both of the bullies away. Michael moved so his back would face the school building. Michael still found it weird Jeremy hadn't shown up.

Then Michael got picked up.

I got what I asked for I guess..

"JESUS-" Mike yelled in panic, “JEREMY!!”

"WHAT I'M JUST PLAYING AROUND!!" Jeremy yelled back, trying not to laugh at the boy's panicked expression.

"PUT ME DOWN YOU ASS!" Then Michael was in contact with the ground again.

Chapter Text

The rest of the day was boring. Michael and Jeremy were talking about stupid things they've done. "Can you make a stop at my house? Left my guitar." Michael asked. Jeremy nodded, unlocking his truck.

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When the two boys arrived at Michael's house Michael saw another car in the driveway. This was Henry Emily's, one of his father's closest friends, car. Michael got out of Jeremy's truck and walked up to the off-color blue family home. Henry opened the door when he knocked.

"Hello, Michael!" Henry greeted. He was the opposite of his father. Henry was a much bigger man, thick black glasses sat on top of his Roman nose, and he was also much kinder than William as well. Henry let Michael inside and he spared no time running up the stairs and grabbing his guitar. When he was turning to leave William saw him.

"Where the hell are you going?" William questioned, his British accent stronger than normal. "you better not be running off to see that boy you're obsessed with"

"I'm not going to see Jeremy! I'm just hanging out with a few friends." Michael was defensive about Jeremy. Not in a romantic way because his father constantly said it was wrong to be gay or that homosexuality was a sin and fags like him wouldn't get into heaven, which scared him a lot more than it should've. Thinking back at it he always feared being frowned upon. This is why Evan is dead.

"Just don't be out too late, okay Michael?" "ok"

Michael left. He was happy father was using 'Michael' instead of his given name. Even if it was only because Henry was there. It made him feel like an actual man, even if he still had tits and a vagina. Which were the exact things that didn't make him a man. He isn't and will never be an actual man. He was just delusional. Michael ran back to Jeremy's truck. His bleached blonde hair was really pretty in this lighting. "Ready?" Jeremy checked. Michael smiled, "I think so.". He enjoyed it when Jeremy checked in on him it made him feel cared for.

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The two boys pulled into John's driveway. Michael got out of the car and waited for Jeremy. They wandered up to John's door then it began to rain.

"JOHN OPEN THE DOOR!!" Jeremy yelled knocking on the door again. "I'M COMING HOLD ON" John yelled back. They heard footsteps and then the door opened. The two of them were greeted by no one none other than John, "Get your asses in here". Francis went and grabbed a few towels for Jeremy and Michael so they wouldn't be soaked.

"God, your house is cold," Michael said, "Like you couldn't have turned the heat on?" John stared at him. It was 83° in his house, there was no way he was turning it up. John threw a towel at Michael. "Maybe you're cold because you're soaked." John snarled. Francis looked at Jeremy and said, "You should make sure your boyfriend doesn't freeze.". Jeremy got flustered. Ok sure, he wanted to be with Mike, but Francis calling him Jeremy's 'boyfriend' made him feel something. Rose came out of the bathroom.

"I'm staying the night, John. There is no arguing" Rosalina declared as she sat on the couch. "I don't need to be driving in this weather." Francis glanced at both Michael and Jeremy "You two should probably stay the night too" Michael looked at Jeremy, who had a big ass grin on his face. Michael was thinking about what his father would do if he came home late, and what would happen to his siblings if he wasn't there in the morning, but he also thought about being a normal fucking teenager. "Alright! I don't wanna go back outside anyways." Michael said happily.

It was 3 am after hours of just sitting and talking. Michael's friends had all gone to sleep except Jeremy. He had his arm around Michael and was flirting with Mike. Jeremy looked at Micheal "You know Mikey I've been thinking about us lately" Michael giggled "I love you Jer just I'm not ready for a relationship yet, I'm sorry." "I know Mikey I just can't get you out of my head! Ever since you kissed me at that stupid fucking Halloween party I haven't been able to see you as just my friend." Jeremy admitted. He took his arm off of Michael's shoulder and looked away. "I should go, bye Michael see you at school." Jeremy got up and left. It was still pouring outside but he didn't care. Jeremy was upset, frustrated, and confused. Michael just sat there. He was shocked that Jeremy had just up and left him. Michael got up and went to the bathroom to cry.

Chapter Text

Michael fell asleep on the bathroom floor. His eyes were slightly red from how hard he was crying. knock knock "What?" Michael muttered, he was still upset over last night. But why? It's not like Jeremy and him were a thing. They were just friends that's all. "You good, man? I heard you crying last night. Where's Jeremy? What happened? Am I asking too many questions?" It was John. Of course, it was John, why wouldn't it be John!

"You can come in ya know" Michael clarified, "it'll probably be better to explain if you did." John opened the door and sat next to Michael. It was silent for a few minutes. "Sooo what happened last night?" John asked but this time he looked into Michael's blue-gray eyes. "I told Jeremy that I wasn't ready for a relationship then he left and I got sad," Michael said, looking at the tiles. He refused to make eye contact with John.

Rose came out of nowhere. "I made eggs!" she said smiling, "They have something in them that you've never tasted Mike, flavor" Rose made effects with her hands at 'flavor'. "Hey! I know what flavor is! I'm not that British!" Michael defended. He looked very offended by Rosalina saying that to him.

She laughed, "Just come eat stupid". Rosalina always picked on her friends; it was something she did as a joke. Michael got off the floor and then went over to the table. He sat down on one of the wooden chairs placed around the table. Michael was fidgeting with his earring. He hated eating, Uncle Henry said that he had an eating disorder but Michael didn't believe him. He was a normal kid, he wasn't like that. Michael felt something hit him on the shoulder.

"You gotta eat or just stare at it?" Francis joked. Michael nodded, and he started to eat. "So do you like it?" Rose asked, her head slightly tilted. "It's good."

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After Michael helped clean up. He realized he didn't have a ride home. "Hey, John," Michael started "Yeah you can call your dad using the phone" John cut Michael off. "Thanks." Michael went over to the phone that was mounted to the wall. He put in the number and it went to a voice message. Michael left a message and then placed the phone back on the mount. He walked into the kitchen and got his stuff. "I'm gonna start heading home. See you at school, bye!" Michael said. "Oh, alright bye Mike," said Francis. The others said their goodbyes as Michael left. Once he was outside he felt sick. Michael didn't know what was causing it. He felt nauseous. Michael ran back home and he felt even sicker when he went into the family home.

The man who was his father was standing at the entrance. "Where were you? You were supposed to be home at 10." the taller man spoke. William stared at Michael waiting for his response. "You never said when I had to be home. Also, it was raining. You would've hated it if I had come home drenched." Michael replied. Michael tried to go up to his room, but William grabbed his wrist. "Where the fuck do you think you're going?" The fear had set in. Michael was about to cry. Everything was getting louder. He felt his heartbeat in his ears. Everything was getting overwhelming. Michael pushed William away and ran up to his room. He put a chair in front of his door and sat down on the mattress that was placed on the floor.

He got out a journal that his father gave him around the time of his mother's death. He missed seeing his father happy. He was only like this because of her, and probably Michael too. He opened the leather cover, flipped to an empty page, and got out a pen.

October 19, 1986
Jeremy is mad at me. I think I fucked something up, I don't know what though. He's been acting weird ever since last October. Father is mad I stayed at John's he said he's "worried about me", right. Father hasn't cared since Evan's passing. He'll definitely be pissed about my report card, I have a D in health. I just wanna see Jeremy. I don't care what I have to do, I just want to see him happy. I think I might be the problem though. I'm always the problem, that's what father always says or he says I'm just like my idiotic mother. I don't think father hates her, I think he's just upset about her passing.

Michael put down the pen. Am I that much of a pussy? I'm writing about my feelings like I'm 7. Lord, I'm never going to grow up, am I. Michael thought, hitting himself on the side of his head.

"Mikey?" a quieter voice said from behind the door, "are you there? I missed you." "Yeah, Liz, just give me a second." Michael put the journal underneath his mattress and moved the chair in front of the door. He opened the door. Elizabeth walked into Michael's room. "Dad is upset at you.." Elizabeth spoke, "I think he's gonna hurt you again." Michael hugged her. Elizabeth got the idea that 'Dad is going to hurt him' from Charlie. Charlie had let Michael talk to her about William and of course, she accidentally told Elizabeth. "He's not going to hurt me, Liz. I told you this, remember?" Michael tried to calm her down. "Hey, how about I make dinner then I help you get ready for bed?" "Ok.." Elizabeth agreed to leave Micheal's room to go downstairs.

Chapter Text

Michael had to ride with Charlie to school. He was ready to kill himself when he walked out the door and saw Charlie and Henry. DAMNIT. Michael awkwardly opened the car door. When he got into the car Henry glared at him.

"Hello Michael, how are you?" Henry asked as he put on a smile. "I'm fine, thank you for asking, Mr. Emily," Michael replied. Michael was reviewing his notes for his exam in science. "So I hear you're doing well in school." Henry tried to start a conversation after a few minutes of sitting in silence. "I guess," Michael said, putting on his headphones. As music filled Michael's ears he thought about all the ways he could disappear, the ways he could kill himself.

"So how've you been, Henry?" Michael asked, "It's been awhile since we've seen each other." Henry answered with something like "I've been just fine, thanks for asking!" Michael wasn't really paying much attention to the man. He had pulled up to the middle school entrance and Liz got out of the light gray minivan. Michael waved goodbye to his sister, then realized he had to actually go to school today. Henry continued with the questions "How's your dad been doing?" "Ok, I guess, he hasn't left the basement in, like, months." Michael's answer was half true, he had only left the basement to bitch at Michael and take his anger out on him. That's all Michael really good for anyways.

Charlie pulled Michael into an empty hallway once they got to school. “Ok Mike, what the fuck is going on with you? You've been acting weird all week.” She whispered, well it wasn't really a whisper. Michael hesatealy said “I'm fine.”
Charlie stared at Michael “sureeee you fine I totally believe you.” Michael said nothing. He couldn't just tell Charlotte everything. She'd tell Henry, who'd tell the authorities, who'd take away his sister and father and Michael would be responsible for all of it. “You know you can't keep everything bottled up forever, at some point you gotta tell someone.” Charlie said as she started to walk away, “Me, ‘someone’ is me.” Michael nodded knowing damn well he wasn't going to talk to her, Jeremy (who probably hates him), a therapist, or just anyone who could help about his father.

He heard the first bell and started to walk to his first period which was English. Michael hated English for so many reasons. One of them being he was in the same class as all his friends but the one he wanted to see the most, the one that probably hates him and wants to see his dead mangled body hanging from the ceiling of his room. Michael entered the classroom and sat down in a seat before the late bell rang. The teacher started with attendance.

Michael started to zone out, letting his thoughts consume him. He started to think about Jeremy and how pissed he looked at Michael. He never thought he'd see Jeremy, the boy who helped him with almost everything, be so pissed. He wanted to tell Jeremy he was sorry but honestly at this point a ‘sorry’ would be like adding salt to a wound. The bell rang. Has it already been an hour? Michael had thought. He got out of his seat and left with every other student.

John had found Michael walking to his next class, he'd thought that he should say hi. “Hey man!” John said smiling. “Hey.” Michael replied he was confused why the shorter brunette was talking to him. The only reason John, Roselina, and Francis are friends with Michael is because he could play guitar.

Jeremy was friends with them when they started they're band (which has no name. John says “he's working on it” but everyone knows he’s not) they were in need of a guitarist and Jeremy suggested Michael. Jeremy said it would be a fun thing and that could be a way to make new friends. Looking back at it, that might've been a way to get rid of Michael. Tears started to form in Michael's eyes.

“Are you ok man? you look like you're about to cry.” John said as he looked directly into Michael's light blue-gray eyes. “Mhm. I'm fine, just got dust or something in my eye.” Michael muttered. Thankfully the bell rang saving Michael from having to deal with John. “Well there's the bell! Gotta go, bye!” Michael ran to his next class.

About 10 minutes into class Michael asked to go to the restroom. When he was given permission he ran to the restroom. He started to cry. He heard someone open the door. Michael had gone quiet and prayed that whoever just came into the bathroom didn't hear him.

“Michael?” The voice spoke from the other side of the stall door, “Are you ok?” It was Jeremy. Jeremy was on the other side of the door. Michael stayed quiet, he thought Jeremy had to leave eventually. “Mike, I know you're there. I saw you run in here.” Jeremy pushed Michael to talk. Michael thought for a moment then replied with “I'm fine. Why are you so worried about me anyways?” Michael wanted Jeremy to leave. He wanted him to stop caring. He wanted his attempts to push Jeremy to work. Then the bathroom door closed again. The bleach blonde left.

Michael was alone again. This is what he wanted. Right?

Chapter Text

After crying in the bathroom for about an hour after Jeremy left Michael had finally left the bathroom. He didn't know what time it was, so Michael decided to go to his spot under the bleachers. It was a surprisingly nice day despite it being the beginning of fall. He saw someone walk over to him. It was Sammy, Charlie's younger brother. He came and sat next to Michael.

“Hey dude.” Sammy said he had a sweet almost caring tone in his voice. Michael waved, he had no effort to talk to anyone right now. He just wanted to fucking plan his death. “Sorry for coming up and talking to you outta nowhere but..” Sammy paused, his tone changed to a much more sad tone. The blonde looked like he was gonna cry. “I was wondering how you made it this far? Like I remember when you got super suicidal around when that happened, but how did you stay alive and not give in?” Sammy finished his sentence.

Michael looked at him. It was almost like he was looking into a mirror. Except Sammy looked nothing like Michael. Sammy had middle-length blonde hair, tan skin, hazel eyes, Sammy was also shorter than Mike despite being biologically a man. “My sister really helped, but I know that it doesn't work for everyone” Michael answered, “Vincent and Scott getting me therapy also helped.” Sammy turned to look at Michael. “Thanks, I'll try that.” Sammy gave Michael a half-assed smile, Michael could tell it was forced and that the only reason that Sammy came to Michael was for motivation to live. The only thing Michael was lacking.

god why did I say ‘my sister helped so much’ knowing damn well I thought and knew Henry was just gonna take her in after i died. Michael thought to himself as he was digging through his locker. He had hope that Sammy wouldn't commit, he was like a little brother to him. Both him and Charlie were like family to Michael, and he hoped his plans for tonight wouldn't have much of an effect on them.

He didn't want to see them cry, or his sister, but it had to be done. It should've been done a long time ago but Michael was too much of a pussy to do it. He should probably say goodbye to everyone considering that this would be the last time he'd see most of them. During his next class he wrote a note to Jeremy about how much he was sorry and that he shouldn't have tried to push him away. Michael put his whole heart into the note for Jeremy.

He decided to give the rest a goodbye in person because it could be done much quicker. After class ended, Michael went over to Jeremy's locker and stuck the note inside, then he went and found Charlie, Sammy, John, Roselina, and lastly Francis. He said goodbye and hugged them. Most of them were confused but not Francis, Francis knew what Michael was going to do. “Don't kill yourself man. It's not worth it. Trust me that shits permanent.” Francis said, his slight jersey accent showing.

“I'm not gonna kill myself! I just want to say goodbye to my friends before school ends!” you liar. you fucking disgusting liar. Michael thought right after he said that. “Whatever you say man. I better be seeing you tomorrow.” Francis said he had a threatening tone there at the end. Francis ended up walking away first, this hurt Michael.

School finally ended. Henry was supposed to drive Michael and Elizabeth home, but Michael decided to walk. He didn't want to talk to Henry, he wanted to go home. He'd always told himself ‘just got to make it to Friday’ (he was not in fact going to make it to Friday this time). Michael had walked up to the oak door that was painted white a while back. He took out the key for the door and unlocked it. He opened the white door gently and shut it behind him.

Jeremy was standing in front of him. He had a piece of paper in his hand. The blonde looked concerned, like he was gonna cry. Then Michael walked in. Jeremy hugged the taller boy, who was most definitely trying to get out of having physical contact.

“Thank god you're ok! I was so worried about you, mikey.” he was worried about me? Or is he just lying to get me to talk again so he can have a better reason to fucking hate my guts. thought Michael. “Why though? and before you say ‘i love you’ you don't. You love the thought of me. You love the fact that you can fuck me and I still talk to you like we're just friends. You like the me that is just for show, not the real me.” Michael pushed Jeremy away from him and ran up to his room.

To Michael his room wasn't only a place to sleep but it was a safe space, one of the only safe spaces he had after November of ‘83. He had put his desk chair in front of the door and also some heavier books. Michael grabbed his journal as well as his black fountain pen that he had gotten from his mother on his 6th birthday. A week before she died. He began to write.

October 23rd, 1986.

Goodbye Jeremy. I'm sorry for all the pain that I've caused you. I'm so, so sorry. Please don't feel like you have to not move on, I don't care if right after this you date someone else who I can grantee is much better than I ever was. Hopefully they will be happy to get to celebrate your birthday, your real birthday instead of having to celebrate it on the 1st of march like you normally do. I'm sorry I didn't make that day special for you this year

Michael stopped writing for a second. Why was he apologizing to Jeremy? Why was Jeremy the person he decided to talk to in his suicide note? Why the fuck was he wroting a suicide note in the first place? It's not like anyone actually reads them, or cares if they do. He ripped out the piece of paper from his journal and threw it in the trash before closing the book. Michael had saved some broken glass from 2? Maybe 3 years ago. He had it in a plastic bag in the bottom of his desk drawer and he'd been saving it for this moment.

Michael carefully took a piece of glass from the bag and he started to slide it across his wrists. Someone was trying to open the door. It was probably Jeremy. Who cares about him anyways Michael did. Michael always did. Ever since he met Fitzgerald he had cared about him. Michael was pulled out of his train of thought by the pain of his wrists. Blood was dripping from them like a river. But lord did it sting, he had never cut this deep before. Probably because he was too much of a pussy but whatever. The pounding on the door got louder. Michael noticed the chair had moved slightly. He tried to stand up to move it, he started to get light headed.

Blood dripped from his wrists as he made his way to the door leaving a small trail behind him. Jeremy got the door open just when Michael got to it. Jeremy looked at him. Michael looked pale, paler than usual. Jeremy hugged him again except this time Michael didn't try to run. He cried into Jeremy's shoulder, apologizing for everything, even getting blood on the man's blue shirt. Jeremy held Michael for a good few seconds until he picked him up and brought him to the bathroom.

“Mikey, where do you keep the first-aid kit?” Jeremy asked, his brown eyes looked into Michael's. God He was so beautiful. So, so beautiful “It's under the sink.” Michael replied, he wasn't upset that jeremy was trying to save his life, or atleast right now he wasn't. Sure he'd be pissed later but hopefully Jeremy would stay with him and comfort him. Jeremy grabbed some bandages from the first-aid kit and started to wrap his wrists. This made Michael think about how Jeremy wanted to be a nurse, just like his mom. He had once told Michael that after his dad died, he and his mom had moved here from Phoenix, Arizona. His mom had gotten a job here at the hospital in Hurricane, that's why they moved.

Michael had met Ms. Fitzgerald many times. She was one of his brother's nurses before he passed. She was like his mum. “Are they too tight?” Michael shook his head “Ok I'm done then!” Jeremy said, putting one of his hands out so Michael could get up. The two left the bathroom and went downstairs into the kitchen because Jeremy insisted on making tea.

“What type of tea do you want?” Jeremy asked as he looked through the cabinets until he found the tea. “Earl Gray, please” Michael replied he was tired and sounded like it. “Alright! also quick question, can I stay the night for maybe like a few days? I wanna make sure you're ok and be with you, of course!” Jeremy seemed so happy to be with Michael. Did he just want to fuck Michael than leave him to rot all over again? “Of course you can. Just no sex, I can't deal with that right now. You understand, right?” Michael explained. He needed Jeremy to understand this. Michael wanted more than sex, he wanted a relationship. He wanted to marry him and maybe even have a family if Michael got better.

The truth was that Jeremy sorta wanted that to. He walked over to the brunette and kissed him. A genuine kiss. Not the shitty ones that were with the intention of getting in his bed. One that was filled with passion for him.

“I love you so much, Michael.” Jeremy said, it was almost like a dream.

Maybe this all was a dream…

Chapter Text

Michael woke up.
Everything felt like a dream.

It was about a year since Michael's attempt. Him and Jeremy started dating. Everything was starting to go how He wanted it to. This wasn't right.

At about 3:28am, it was still dark outside. Jeremy was staying the night at Michael's house, and he was dead asleep. Surely, he wouldn't notice if Michael disappeared for a bit. Michael got out of bed and went into the bathroom to just look at himself. He looked at himself in the bathroom mirror. He couldn't get over how feminine he looked.

He wanted to rip his skin off as he looked at himself. His face was so feminine, even though he tried so hard to make it not. Tears started to fall from his cheeks. He grabbed one of the blades he hid from Jeremy. He pulled up the fabric of his pants. He pressed the blade to his pale skin and slid it across. He repeated this motion for a bit. Until he heard a knock on the bathroom door “Hey Mikey, are you ok?” Of course it was Jeremy! I mean, he wouldn't be an Afton if he didn't have terrible luck.“yea, I'm ok.” he responded, “I'll be out in a second, so don't worry.” Michael said as he was scrambling to get one of those big band-aids. Once he found the box, he pulled one out and put it over the bleeding cuts. He opened the door, and Jeremy pulled Michael into a kiss. “O-oh! Hey there!” Said a very flustered Michael. “You're so cute, Mikey. I love you” Jeremy kissed Michael on the cheek before heading into the bathroom. you won't if you knew what I just did.

Michael went back to his room. He got onto his bed. He waited for Jeremy to come back. Jeremy came back into his room about 1-2 minutes later. “Hey Mikey!!” Jeremy sat down next to Michael. “Hey Jere.” Michael looked at him. He had a mix of happiness and disappointment on his face. Which was a little odd, but it’s Michael Afton.

It was a half hour later, Jeremy and Him had just been talking about random shit until Jeremy dropped the fact that he got a job. Michael looked at him with a panicked expression “Where?” Jeremy was confused about why his boyfriend was so panicked about him getting a job. “Ummm that new fazbear’s place, Why? I mean, I know that your dad owns it, but it's not like I'm gonna get hurt.” Michael stared at Jeremy. “Jeremy, you are going to get hurt! Why do you think that it got closed in the first place? You're going to get killed for christ sake!” Michael argued.

“Why can't you just be happy that I got a job? That means we can finally get a place, and you don't have to live with your dad anymore! Why do you bitch about everything?” Jeremy argued back, “you know you're just like your dad, you have to be in control of everything and if you aren't you bitch about it!” Michael stopped talking. He just stared at Jeremy, processing what he had just said. ”Why would you say that? You fucking asshole!” Michael got up, “God, you know you're such a dick went everything doesn't go your way! And you're telling ME I'm like MY DAD?!” Michael was about to open the door to his room. “So now you're gonna storm off to your uncles’ house? God you're such a man child.” Jeremy said. “What happened to my Jeremy? Because you are not him.” Michael said right before he closed the door as quietly as he could

Jermy really couldn't take a hint and see where he had messed up. Hell, he still thought he was in the right to say that his boyfriend was just like his dad, even though many times in the past having to tell him he's nothing like him. Back on to Michael though cause he's the main character! You would think every emotion would be hitting him at once like a brick but no, he thought nothing and he certainly felt nothing. Michael grabbed the keys to his father's truck. He didn't care if he got yelled at, he just wanted out of there. On his way to the dark gray truck Jeremy came out of nowhere. “Why are you out here..?” Michael questioned, his voice was lacking any emotion whatsoever. “I'm not going to stay at your house if you're not here, y’know” Jeremy answered. Michael shrugged and Continued his way to the Truck.

Michael started the car. Jeremy's words were looping through his head. ‘You're just like your dad
’ despite hearing that sentence over a million times by now he never thought that Jeremy Fitzgerald, his boyfriend, the man who would sit with him for hours telling him that he's nothing like his dad and never be, said that sentence. The one person he trusted the most out of everyone he knew. The man who spent his entire summer break spending time with Michael and helping him feel better. said this to him

Once he arrived at his destination he parked a few blocks away. I mean it's not like William would know that he was at Vincent and Scott’s house. He walked up to the house. It was a dark grayish-blue color, it was also on the smaller side. Michael knocked on the door. He didn't really expect anyone to be awake at this hour especially considering that it was a Sunday night, well technically Monday now but who cares.

Vincent opened the door.

“Michael? Why are you here so early? It's like 5am.” The older man spoke, it was obvious he was just woken up. “I needed to get away from home for a bit. The only other place I know is here and Henry's and I'm pretty sure he'd tell my dad.” Michael looked on edge, no one knew about Jeremy and his relationship. Sure Vincent and Scott would be the most accepting of their relationship but Vincent also had a history of accidentally telling people things that are a secret.

“Oh alright! Scott is sleeping right now so please try to be quiet.” Michael nodded. “Also Michael, if you want to talk about it. I'll help.” Vincent smiled. Michael walked into the house and saw Vincent was watching him. Which made him think how he wanted to have a relationship just like Vincent and Scott's. ever since Michael could remember, they had always been so fucking inlove with one other. Even though they were never legally married.

Michael went into the guest room. He sat down on the bed and grabbed his journal.

November 8th, 1987

Me and Jere got into another argument. I don't know what I’m doing wrong all i did was tell him not to work at Freddy's. He keeps saying that me worrying is going to he why he dies. I wanna go back to summer. I dont want him to be mad. God I fucking hate myself so much. Why can't I fucking think. Why am I so stupid. I want him to hold me and tell me he's not mad. I just wanna be loved in a relationship for once. I thought he was different. At least he hasn't hit me or fucking sa'd me like Jason did. Why do I have such a terrible taste in men? I just want a happy healthy relationship where a guy doesn't snap at me cause i'm trying to keep him safe.

I still love Jere. I don't think I'll ever stop loving him. He might stop loving me though.

Michael’s thighs started hurting.

stupid fucking scars Michael thought. He laid down, he pulled the bed's comforter over his body. He stared at the ceiling. Observing every crack, bit of chipped paint, and every bump in the paint. Before Michael knew it, he was asleep. He slept like he'd never slept before. A bomb could go off and Michael would still be peacefully sleeping.

After lord knows how long, Michael woke up to the sound of someone walking downstairs. Michael guessed it was Scott because there was no way in hell Vincent would be awake at this hour. Michael sat up a bit so he could see the alarm clock on the bedside table. It read 6:04am. shit i have to get ready for school Michael groaned. He rolled out of bed, he stepped on his pencil. “OW! fuckin’ shit.” Michael kicked the pencil across the room. “Stupid fucking pencil.”

Michael got dressed and went downstairs, Scott was making coffee and reading the newspaper. “Hey uncle Scott.” Michael said, still half asleep.

The older man looked up from the paper and said “Oh hello Michael! I didn't know you were here!” Scott smiled at him not like a toothy smile, just a smile that showed some teeth. His braces showed a little. “So how's Freddy's doing? I heard you became manager.” Michael asked, not like he cared about Freddy's since Evan died. “things are good. How's Liz?” Scott questioned. “I think she's ok. she seems happy about some robot father's making her.” Michael answered, getting out a kettle and poured some water in it.

“You still don't drink coffee?” Scott laughed, taking a sip of his freshly made coffee. Michael scoffed “sorry I don't like that sad, bitter drink. If you'd even call it that.” Michael was never much of a coffee drinker, unless he was desperate. After a few minutes the kettle started to whistle. Michael got out a tea cup and a bag of English tea (his favorite). He poured the boiling water into the cup and waited a second or two before putting a teaspoon of sugar into his tea.

He drank his tea, grabbed his bag, and headed out the door to make his way to school. Thankfully Vincent and Scott's house was much closer to school, so Michael could just walk. Once he got there Charlie was waiting for him.

“Dude where were you?! Also why are you so sweaty…” Charlie looked at him. She was very confused. “Oh yea.. that. I sorta walked.. to school.” Michael stuttered a lot, having someone trying to make direct eye contact with you is not fun. “You WALKED?? ARE YOU INSANE?” Charlie was 10x more confused now. “Me and dad got in a fight so I'm staying with uncle Scott and Vincent. They live right around the street so I just walked.” Michael explained hoping it would make the girl less confused. “Ohh that makes more sense.” Charlie said.

“You know, you could just stay with my dad? He's not mad at you anymore.” She continued as the two walked towards the building. “I know! It's just… awkward? Ya’know” Michael said kicking a rock that was in his way. “Yeah I get that. But I just wanted to remind you that you're always welcome!” Charlie smiled, she was so happy about everything. She's the type of person to see the glass as half full rather than half empty. “Thank you Charlie, that means a lot..” Michael smiled back at her.

Once the two got into the building it was insanity in there. Kids going to their classes, lockers, going to talk to their friends. “I guess I'll see you at lunch, bye Mike!” Charlie waved before running through the crowd to her locker. “Bye Charlie..” Michael was alone again. Despite putting himself into this position, he was still sad about it. It felt like he was back in 1984. Michael shook all the negative thoughts out of his head and made his way to his locker. The red paint was peeling around the corners and the exposed metal was starting to rust. Michael got his books out of his locker and headed to Math. Michael was good at math. Everyone says he got his brains for his father but Michael would disagree.

Math was pretty much a blur, Michael was out of there before he knew it. He decided to skip english. He didn't want to see Jeremy right now. So he headed to the bathroom.

Chapter Text

This isnt a new chapter sorry

Just wanted to say that im gonna discontinue this work. Im not really happy with it and ive also lost interest into five nights at Freddy's. Im not quitting writing, just this fanfic :3