Archive of Our Own ^beta

Most people’s words hurt when they come in. Tyson’s heard the stories: searing pain up the arm, burning, aching. It’s supposed to be worth it, but he’s always been a bit of a baby when it comes to handling pain. He’s also not really sure he wants a soulmate - why can’t he decide who he gets to marry on his own? Why does the universe get to have that power?

He’s showering one morning about a month after his eleventh birthday when he glances down at his arm. His words are there - but they never hurt coming in, they were never faded or patchy. It’s like one minute there was blank skin and the next minute perfectly formed words appeared. He’s grateful that he got to escape the pain, but he’s worried that something is wrong with him. Not just because his words came in painlessly, but because of what they say:

Hi, I’m Tyson!

He sits on the floor of the shower and stares at the words for a long time. He rubs them, seeing if they’ll come off in the warm waterfall cascading over him, but they don’t budge. Tyson stays in the shower until his fingers are pruny and his skin is red from the heat of the water.

Later, once he’s dressed, he asks his mom for a guard. She’s thrilled that his words have come in, but he refuses to show her.

“They’re private,” he insists. “They’re my words.”

She finally relents.

Tyson knows one of two things must be true: either he’s some sort of freak and his soulmate is himself, or there’s some guy named Tyson out there destined for him. He’s not sure which is worse.

The Avs draft Tyson tenth overall in 2016. He should probably be happy, but all he can think about is the fact that he’s not going to be the only Tyson on the team.

North Dakota loses, and he gets a call from his agent. They want Tyson now, in the midst of what might be the worst season any NHL team has ever had. He looks around his dorm room, sighs, and starts packing. When the NHL calls, well - Tyson can’t say no.

He gets to Denver and checks into the hotel the team had set up for him. He lays on his bed, lost in thought about what the next day might bring. Some of his friends have met their soulmates, and the way they talk about it - Tyson hates it. He hates the idea that he’s going to be forced into marrying someone, that he won’t be in control of his own emotions. He wants to fall in love; he knows it’s taboo, but he thinks it’s more romantic than following some words on his arm without any good reason. His friends have all talked about a huge shift in how they see the world once they meet their soulmates. Nothing else matters to them anymore. One of his friends described it as “becoming whole.”

Tyson’s furious at that in particular. How could anyone say he’s not already whole? He’s happy and bubbly, he plays hockey well enough that he’s got a contract with an NHL team, and he has wonderful relationships with his family. The only thing seriously wrong with him is that he’s color blind, but he’s never minded that. And it’s not like a soulmate is going to fix his eyes or brain or whatever.

He wants to be able to find his own person, fall in love, make mistakes. He doesn’t want the certainty that comes with words, the storybook love: meet - get married three months later - have babies.

If it is Barrie, then - well, Barrie’s going to have a rough go of it, because Tyson won’t be tied down like that. Maybe he won’t even want to date Barrie. Tyson’s last thought before drifting off to sleep is that no matter what happens the next day, he’s determined to make his own choices in life.

He gets to the locker room early the next day full of energy and excitement for his first practice with his NHL team. He bounces around the room, introducing himself to people. Tyson’s eyeing Nathan MacKinnon - the guy’s a legend, but he looks really grumpy. He’s wondering what could possibly make someone be that miserable, when the guy next to MacKinnon walks over.

“Hi, I’m Tyson!” he says, sticking out his hand.

“No way, me too!” Tyson responds without thinking.

The two of them stare at each other for a moment. Tyson doesn’t think he feels different, really. Sure, Barrie is cute, but - his entire world hasn’t changed. From the way Barrie’s looking at him, he definitely said Barrie’s words. MacKinnon slams his helmet on the bench and storms out of the room, making Tyson jump.

“Don’t worry about him, he’s just - well, he’s Nate,” Barrie sighs. “He’s a lot less scary once you actually know him and also when it’s not the morning. He doesn’t do mornings. Anyway - wow. Um. Can I see? Is that ok? Your arm, I mean.”

Tyson’s hands tremble slightly as he takes off his guard to reveal his words. Barrie takes his off as well, and the two of them get lost in looking at their words for a moment, until Matt Duchene stomps over.

“What the fuck? Are you two soulmates?” he demands angrily. Tyson shrinks slightly at the sight of another angry superstar on the Avs. What is it with this team and grumpy people?

Barrie wraps a protective arm around Tyson. “Seems like it. You got a problem with that?” Barrie asks defensively. In spite of himself, Tyson likes the way Barrie’s arm feels around him. He feels safe, protected.

“Yeah, I fucking do. I don’t want to share a locker room with a couple of fags,” he snarls. Barrie’s arm tightens around Tyson’s shoulders and Gabe walks over. Anxious, Tyson leans into his soulmate.

“What the fuck, Dutchy?” Gabe says. “Seriously, it’s 2017, get out of here with your 1970s bullshit.”

“It’s not bullshit. I don’t want to be around this. They’re disgusting freaks,” Dutchy yells at him. “You can’t tell me you’re ok with this!”

Tyson’s shaking now, and his vision is blurry. A few tears fall from his eyes. Barrie notices and wraps him tighter, then brings him to sit on the bench.

“It’s gonna be ok, Tys, just ignore him,” Barrie whispers in his ear. Barrie’s voice is unsteady, and when Tyson looks at him, he sees tears streaming down his cheeks.

“They’re part of the team! So what if they’re soulmates, who cares? Why are you acting like this?” Gabe screams back.

“It’s fucking disgusting, that’s why. Look, Nate’s back, I’m sure he walked out because he feels the same way. It’s not ok, and I don’t want to deal with this bullshit in my locker room,” Dutchy snaps as Nate re-enters the locker room. Nate looks very confused.

“Uh, what’s going on? I just needed a sec, sorry. Holy shit, Tys, are you ok? What the fuck?” Nate says, walking over to wrap both Tysons in a hug.

“Please don’t be mad at me, Nate, I know I should have told you,” Barrie sobs into the hug.

“Dude, why would I be mad at you? I walked out because I needed a minute to stop feeling so single. I’m glad you found your person and you can finally ditch your guard, I know how much you hate that thing. You know I don’t care who your soulmate is, as long as he’s not an asshole.”

Tyson would like to think he’s not an asshole, and the way Nate is looking at him tells him that if he ever is an asshole, Nate will probably punch him. Or maybe just yell at him. Tyson doesn’t think Nate would actually punch a teammate.

Duchene makes an ugly screeching noise. “So you’re ok with these - with these faggots being in our locker room?”

Nate ruffles Barrie’s hair in comfort, then stands up, looks at Duchene, and decks him.

Ok, so maybe Nate would punch a teammate.

In the aftermath, Barrie brings him outside to his car. “I assume you’re staying in a hotel? I can bring you back there if you want, or take you to my place. I know that was a lot to deal with.”

Tyson hesitates. He doesn’t really want to be alone right now, especially not in a hotel room in a city he doesn’t know, but he’s also not really into doing the whole soulmate thing. Whatever that is.

“Look, you don’t have to - we don’t have to - .” Barrie sighs. “You’re alone in a new city and you just had to deal with a homophobic piece of shit screaming at you. Soulmates or not, I don’t really want to leave you by yourself, ok? We can just like, get some food and talk.”

“Food sounds good,” Tyson says, voice still shaky.

“Ok, let’s do that. Here’s your first Denver tip: the Dairy Queen on Wadsworth opens at 10:30. The rest open at 11. So if you want to do ice cream for breakfast, Wadsworth is worth the trip.”

Tyson laughs. “Is that where we’re headed?”

Barrie gives him a look. “I’ve never experienced a day that requires ice cream for breakfast more than today.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever actually been to Dairy Queen,” Tyson muses.

Barrie looks some combination of shocked and offended. “Ok, well now we’re definitely going to DQ for breakfast. I’ll order for you, don’t worry. I know the best blizzards.”

“Are you going to order something I like, or are you going to order two things you like because you can’t decide between them?” Tyson grins at him.

Barrie looks a little guilty. “Are you saying you don’t like cookie dough?”

“Cookie dough sounds perfect, honestly. Ugh, how fast can you get us there?”

Barrie smiles at him. “Ok, yeah, we’re gonna be best friends.” He pushes down harder on the accelerator.

They sit in comfortable silence, eating their blizzards in Barrie’s car. It’s not even 11 and it’s already been a day.

“You seem like there’s something on your mind other than the whole Duchene thing,” Barrie comments.

“I just moved to a city I’ve never been to before after dropping out of college in the middle of my first year, then I met my soulmate, then I had to attend my first ever NHL practice where I didn’t even get to hit the ice because someone was screaming homophobic shit at me.”

Barrie grins. “Ok, yeah, fair enough. I guess I was just worried that you’re upset about meeting me.”

Tyson sighs. “I’ll be honest, I never wanted a soulmate. With my words - I used to just hope I was some freak whose soulmate was himself or something. Not that there’s anything wrong with you, obviously.”

Barrie’s face falls. “What’s wrong with soulmates?”

Tyson tries to figure out how to phrase his feelings. “It’s just… I wanted to have a choice. I don’t want the universe to throw someone at me and say ‘this is your person, have fun’ or something. I always wanted to meet someone and fall in love. And instead, it’s like everything has been decided for me already, and now I’m staring down at this path that I have to take, and I don’t get a chance to say ‘No, this isn’t the path I want, let me off.’ I just have to go along with it. I’m worried I’m going to lose myself somewhere along the path - like I won’t just be Tyson anymore, I’ll be a soulmate.”

Barrie thinks about what Tyson said for a moment. “Tyson, we don’t have to get married because we’re soulmates. We could just be friends, if that’s more comfortable for you. There’s no timeline we have to follow.”

Tyson sighs. “It feels like there is a timeline.”

“There’s not!” Barrie exclaims. “Look, if you don’t want to get married to me, or even date me, that’s fine, Tys. I think it would be cool if we’re friends, because you seem fun and we share a name already which is awesome, but if you don’t even want that, I’m not going to force you. Do I think you have the most incredible smile I’ve ever seen? Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you’re required to let me suck your dick or something. You have a choice.”

“Everyone always talks about it like there is no choice, though. Like their body becomes not their own anymore, and all they want to do is spend time with their soulmate.”

“Tys, are you ok with me holding your hand for a second to make a point?” Barrie asks. Tyson nods, confused, and Barrie intertwines their fingers.

“Ok, we’re holding hands. Does this feel any different to you from any time you’ve held other people’s hands? Do you feel like you’re going to suddenly need to have sex with me in the DQ parking lot or something?”

Tyson laughs. “Definitely no to sex in the parking lot.”

“See? You still have a choice. Your body is yours, Tys. I’m not going to sit here and demand sex or marriage. I want you to want that. If you don’t want that with me, that’s fine too. I’m not going to hate you or resent you or anything, ok? All soulmates are different just like all people are different. We don’t have to tell people what our relationship is like.”

“So you’re saying we can be… I don’t know, platonic soulmates or something?” Tyson asks.

Barrie smiles at him. “Yeah, Tys. Everyone always jokes that Nate and I are platonic soulmates. If that’s what you want to be with me, that’s awesome. We can be friends. As long as you’re willing to share your blizzard with me.”

Tyson giggles as his soulmate tries to steal cookie dough from him. “Rude! At least give me a peanut butter cup if you’re going to do that!”

They spend the next couple weeks cementing their friendship. Talking to Tys is easier than anything. They open up to each other in ways Tyson never imagined he’d be able to do. The season ends with 48 points, but Tyson gets his first ever NHL goal. The guys on the ice celebrate with him, but Barrie hangs back for a second, hugging Tyson after everyone else steps back. He smiles widely at his soulmate, looking deeply into his eyes, before heading down to fist bump the guys on the bench.

They both head back to their own families over the summer, but keep up the constant stream of texting and phone calls. Most nights they spend an hour or two on the phone, talking and laughing together.

Tyson moves into a house with JT and Kerfy the following season. Some people on the team are confused as to why he’s not staying with his soulmate, but he brushes them off, explaining that he wants to get the full rookie experience.

“You’re ok with this, right?” he nervously asks Barrie. Barrie wraps him up in a hug.

“Of course, Tys. I’m happy when you’re happy.”

Tyson steps back from the hug and smiles at his soulmate. “You’re the best.”

Nate insists that Gabe hosts Canadian Thanksgiving at his place.

“Remind me again why we’re doing this?” Gabe sighs.

“Team bonding, Gabe! It’s an important holiday for Canadians. Are you saying you hate Canada?” Nate exclaims. EJ rolls his eyes.

“But we’re not in Canada and I’m Swedish. Why couldn’t you host?”

“You have the better house. Now shut up and check on the turkey, I don’t want it to burn.”

Tyson’s on cookie duty, carefully rolling out several dozen cookies as Barrie watches carefully and steals cookie dough when he thinks Tyson’s not watching. After the fifth time, Tyson whacks him with a spoon. “Hands off!”

His soulmate looks sad. “Just one more small bite?”

Tyson rolls his eyes. “Fine,” he says, then picks up a bit of cookie dough and puts it to his soulmate’s lips. Barrie eats it, watching Tyson with surprise at the gesture. Tyson makes eye contact with him and blushes, immediately looking back at his cookies.

He sneaks a few more glances when he thinks Barrie isn’t looking, a bit embarrassed with the way he’s acting. His soulmate once told him that he has an incredible smile; he wonders if Barrie still thinks that about him. He finishes the cookies and puts them in the oven.

“What now?” Barrie asks him.

“Now we wait for the cookies to finish baking. And then we let them cool before eating any of them.”

Barrie pouts. “I hate waiting. I want one now.”

Tyson laughs. “You’ve already eaten like, six cookies worth of dough.”

Barrie smiles at him and Tyson realizes - oh. If anyone here has an amazing smile, it’s Barrie.

Oh, shit. He’s in love with his soulmate. Somewhere between the late night phone calls, practicing together every day, and secret Dairy Queen trips, Tyson had fallen for him. It had happened so slowly that he hadn’t noticed until now.

Is this how love is supposed to work? Tyson’s not sure. He thought there was going to be some major event marking the sides - before love and after love. But all he can think of are the times his soulmate had made him laugh until they both cried, stealing bites from each other’s blizzards, making cookies together, an assist on a goal, keep away at practice, talking on the phone until they fell asleep. Maybe love is composed of all the little moments. Tyson can’t point to the divide - there’s no time he can say that he loved Barrie one day but didn’t the day before. It had happened so gradually that it was impossible to pinpoint.

“Can I kiss you?” Tyson asks his soulmate. Barrie looks at him with surprise.

“Are you sure you want to? You know you don’t have to, right?”

“I want to,” Tyson says firmly. “As long as you want to. I love you.”

Barrie pulls him close and gently kisses him.

“I love you, Tyson,” his soulmate says. “But you always have a choice.”

“I know. And I choose you.”