Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Wanna play twenty questions?” Casey asked, looking at his best friend.

Raph swallowed a bit of pizza. “What?”

Casey finished his slice, thinking over what he wanted to say. “Twenty questions, but instead of the game we just ask each other questions. Like a getting-to-know-you thing.”

Raph picked up another slice and examined it. “But we already know each other.” He said, keeping his eyes off him. He didn’t know what Casey was trying to pull.

Casey leaned his head back against the cement wall. They were having a sleepover, because Casey’s family was out of town and he didn’t want to stay home alone when he could be hanging out with his friends. His friends and Raph, who he was pathetically in love with. He was so head-over-heels for him it made him cringe.

“Yeah. Doesn’t mean we can’t get to know each other more though.” Casey tried, just wanting to do this instead of imagining scenarios of them getting together. He spent too much time doing that as it was.

Raph rolled his eyes and set his slice back into the box. He turned so his shoulder was pressed into the wall, the side of his head on the cement. “Fine. Ask away, hockey boy.”

Casey leaned in the same position, the pizza box the only thing that separated them. “What’s… your favorite color? We’ll start off easy.” He said, trying not to dive into the questions he really wanted to ask.

Raph looked at him with a brow raised, because how stupid could you get? “Red, you idiot. Is that a surprise?” He asked, tucking the pizza box closed and threw it like a frisbee onto the floor, clearing up the space between them.

Casey shrugged, scooting closer. “Kinda. I mean, it’s kinda predictable. Your mask is red, you’re angry all the damn time which is associated with the color red, your–”

“Okay, we get it. But for real, I like it. It’s like… I dunno.” Raph said, fiddling with the red blanket below them. With a sigh he fell back onto the bed, his head on the pillow. He had his feet on the bed with his knees in the air, hands resting on his stomach. “It’s like… sunsets. And strawberries. And… love, I guess. That sorta stuff.” He said, staring at the ceiling.

Casey hesitantly crawled across the bed and laid next to Raph, their shoulders almost touching. Casey laid his left hand on the bed, and hoped that Raph would move to grab his hand. It was wishful thinking. “I like red too.” He said, looking up at the cracks in the ceiling.

Raph turned his head to face him. “Really? I would’ve assumed black was your favorite color.” He said, tapping his fingers on his plastron.

Casey let out a breath with a smirk. “Nope. Red’s my favorite.”

Raph turned back to the ceiling and shifted a little closer to Casey, but they still weren’t touching. He knew where Casey’s hand was, and he wanted to grab it, but he had no idea if Casey would even want that. “Why’s red your favorite?” Raph asked.

Casey breathed for a few moments, wondering if he should even tell him why. “It reminds me of…” You. Always you. “It reminds me of the same stuff you said.” He ended up saying, too nervous to tell him the truth.

“Oh.” Raph said softly, and Casey thought he detected a hint of disappointment. “Your turn.” He offered.

Now that they got the ice-breaker question done with, he could get into the stuff he really wanted to ask. “What happened between you and Mona? You never told anyone.”

Raph curled his hands into fists on his stomach. He hated that question more than he hated what happened. It was messy, but simple. “Just don’t tell anyone.” Raph said, wanting him to keep it secret for the time being.

“I won’t.” Casey promised.

Raph spared him a glance before sighing. “You remember how she betrayed us in space. Betrayed me.”

“Yeah.”

Raph hesitated. “Well, that kinda… turned things off. We decided we weren’t gonna date, or whatever it was we had. But when she came to earth and joined the mutanimals, we were gonna try again. Just see where things went, y’know?”

“What happened?” Casey asked.

Raph huffed. “I told her I like boys and she said that wasn’t acceptable on her planet. Then she realized that she didn’t really fit in with the mutanimals and didn’t want to come back with us, so she went back to her planet. I haven’t heard from her since.” He ended, hoping to god Casey wouldn’t judge him.

“That bitch.” Casey growled.

“You got that right.” Raph said with a huff. “After all that I realized I probably won’t get a shot at a relationship ever again, which sucks, but… nothing I can do about that.” He said, and Casey was silent. He didn’t really know what to say, so they sat there in the quiet for a while, thinking over Raph’s words.

“Anyway,” Raph ground out, “How’s it going with… you and April?” He asked, trying to change the subject as best he could. Sure, he wanted Casey to like him back, and he wanted Donnie to get April over Casey, but that didn’t matter when he just wanted the spotlight off him.

Yikes. That’s what he wanted to ask? “I kinda… lost feelings for her. Nothing was gonna happen anyway.”

Raph thought over his words. “How did you lose feelings for her?”

That question hit Casey like a bullet. It almost sounded like Raph was asking for advice. Like he was trying to get over someone. Mona, maybe? He didn’t sound too hung up over it, so it might not be her. He had to tell him anyway though, just in case it was her.

“You just… move on. Find someone new to like.”

Raph’s arm twitched, backing out from grabbing Casey’s hand at the last second. “What if– what if that person’s it for you? What if they’re all you’ve ever wanted, and that you couldn’t even move on if you tried?” Raph asked, anxiety rising. He didn’t want Casey to find out about his feelings for him, but he needed to move on because it was never going to happen and he had no idea how to accept that.

Casey had no idea where this was coming from. Raph sounded panicked, like his entire world depended on how Casey answered his questions. It scared him a little, because Raph was never this vulnerable. “I guess you just gotta– you gotta either suffer in silence forever, or tell them so you can move on. You could cut them out of your life, but then it’ll just hurt more.” Casey said, wanting Raph to tell him what was going on because Casey was starting to worry. “You okay?” He asked.

Before Raph could think better, he slipped his hand into Casey’s, and let out a trembling breath. He squeezed it, looking for any sort of comfort he could get. “Fine. I’m just going through something. But it’s fine, I’m fine. It’s all good.” He said shakily, and his heart beat faster when Casey squeezed back. “It’s your turn.”

Casey didn’t know what to do or what to think. Raph was obviously upset, but he wasn’t going to make him talk about anything he didn’t want to talk about. “Um, what’s your favorite–”

“I can’t do this.” Raph said, dropping his hand and turning on his side, facing away from Casey. “Just fucking shut up.”

Casey pressed his lips together and turned on his side, facing Raph. “What’s wrong?” He asked as gently as he could.

Raph let out a few ragged breaths before he spoke. “How– how am I supposed to get over someone when– when–” Raph exhaled sharply and flipped onto his back, staring at the ceiling. He grabbed Casey’s hand again and squeezed it tight. “How am I supposed to get over someone when he’s right here in my bed, holding my hand, talking about our love lifes and I’m left to wonder how I ever thought you’d like me back.” He growled, angry at the world that his life was like this.

How could he even hope that Casey would ever in a million years think of him the same? How foolish could he be that he thought that maybe there was a small, microscopic chance Casey liked him like he did? He looked over at Casey, whose eyes were as wide as the moon, and his heart dropped into his stomach because oh my god I just ruined everything.

Raph whipped his head back to stare at the ceiling. “Forget I said anything. It was stupid.” He said, face flushed in embarrassment. This could not get any worse.

“It’s not stupid.” Casey said, dropping his hand. Raph squeezed his eyes shut at the motion, as if closing his eyes would make it so that it wasn’t really happening.

Casey scooted closer to Raph so his arm was slung over Raph’s waist and his chin was tucked into his shoulder. Raph was frozen under him, stuck taking deep, labored breaths because this couldn’t be happening, could it?

“I like you too.” Casey whispered, because knowing he liked him made it so much easier.

Raph turned his head to look at him, and their noses were only inches apart. His heart thumped in his chest, pounding like a drum. “You do?”

Casey laughed, a short, breathy chuckle. He sat up and put his forearm on the pillow next to Raph’s head, and the other on his cheek, brushing at his green skin. “Yeah.” He said, staring down at his lips.

Raph looked up at him, wanting him to lean down and just kiss him already. Without thinking, Raph lifted his hand up and behind Casey’s head, pulling him down and capturing his lips in a kiss. Casey moved his hand and pulled Raph farther into the kiss, and Raph put his hand around Casey’s waist.

Casey pulled away and fell back onto his side, arm wrapped around him. He tried to catch his breath, because after so long, after all this time, they were finally together.

It was perfect.