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Chapter Text

Papa Smurf brought the internet to the village, and that's how it all began...

General chat:

User "President Smurf" has entered the chat

Einstein Brainy: Oh we have a new one!
Smurfette - Juliet: So it's Papa Smurf!
Hefty Romeo: Oh indeed he is! Didn't know right away!
Life is longing: Oh, and this one has already gone to the presidency ...
Pippi Sasseta: Well, at least today don't be grumpy!
Life is longing: I don’t grumble, but I say (oh, this Pippi, a solid positive)
Pippi Sasseta: Yes, I'm your sunshine!
Smurf President: Right! Give everyone your positivity!
Smurfette - Juliet: I support!
Life is longing: But not me!

User "Petrosyan Joki" has entered the chat

Petrosyan Joki: Oh, you have a positive here! Well then I'm at the right place!
Hefty Romeo: You're in the right place!
Smurf President: Yes, everyone is here!

User "Great Gargamel" has entered the chat

Grand Gargamel: Well, if everyone's here, then so am I! hehe
Hefty Romeo: Except you!
Life is longing: That's right, he doesn't belong here!
Smurf President: This chat is for smurfs only!
Great Gargamel: And this is discrimination and racism!
Einstein Brainy: He speaks the truth, according to the worldwide code of the UNO, and the article ...
Hefty Romeo: Shut up already, Brainy!

user "Charlie Chaplin - Clumsy" has entered the chat

Charlie Chaplin - Clumsy: HeLlo evEryOne?!
Smurf President: Welcome!
Great Gargamel: He can't even write properly, and you greet him!
Charlie Chaplin - Clumsy: I Can wRiTe!

user "Vanity Alain Delon" has entered the chat

Vanity Alain Delon: Hello and here I am! Isn't everything great?!
Petrosyan Joki: Yes, life is wonderful!
Vanity Alain Delon: I didn't tell you!
Great Gargamel: Well, one of you blues called me handsome?!
Vanity Alain Delon: Early rejoice it's me to myself! (looks in the mirror)
Great Gargamel: What a narcissist! Perhaps if only he could marry himself! Ugh!
Vanity Alain Delon: And you are a total freak! You would first change clothes and put in your teeth, then we'll talk! (turns away)
Great Gargamel: So you're also a boor?! Well I'll get to you!!! You will make a BEAUTIFUL ingot of gold! Ha Ha!
Smurf President: Dear citizens, do not quarrel! There must be a friendly atmosphere here!
Charlie Chaplin - Clumsy: RigHt!
Einstein Brainy: According to the global Internet rules, any swearing, insults, etc. banned here...
Hefty Romeo: Right! But if I meet you Gargamel in real life, I will beat you!
Grand Gargamel: Get there first and don't get caught by Azrael! ??
Smurfette - Juliet: Boys don't quarrel!!!

Great Gargamel: That's great, everyone is here! But damn it, you can't be caught here!
Smurfette - Juliet: and it's great!
Pippi Sasseta: Oh pappy!!!
Smurf President: Ahem, I'm actually your dad.
Pippi Sasseta: Cool! I have two dads!
President Smurf: Okay, let's change the topic.

Great Gargamel: Now let's talk about cooking?
Einstein Brainy: Oh, by the way, I recently presented a new Greedy book on cooking, of my own authorship!
Great Gargamel: Were my recipes there?
Einstein Brainy: What are your recipes?
Great Gargamel: Smurf mojito, smurf skewers, grilled smurf pie…
Einstein Brainy: ??!
Smurfette - Juliet: ??
Petrosyan Joki: Here's a gift for you, there's a book with your recipes, go there on the link: ераеркукуекене74к4смурфс.

user "Great Gargamel: " has left the chat

Einstein Brainy: Are you crazy?!
Smurf President: What did you give him for the link?!
Petrosyan Joki: Yes, a gift, a link to a viral site...

user "Charlie Chaplin - Clumsy" has left the chat

Petrosyan Joki: Oops!
Smurf President: So listen up everyone! For today the chat is closed for important reasons! We'll meet again tomorrow!

Chapter Text

User "President Smurf" has entered the chat

President Smurf: The problem has been removed, I am glad to welcome everyone again in our chat!

Smurfette - Juliet: Oh, I'm so glad that there were almost no casualties!
Einstein Brainy: Thanks to me, I've been cleaning the chat all night!
Hefty Romeo: Hope this doesn't happen again today!
President Smurf: If only this sorcerer - the loser does not come to our chat!

user "Grandfather Petro - smurf" has entered the chat

President Smurf: Dad? And you are here?!
Grandfather Petro - smurf: Well, what, I thought I would not master the Internet? Discovery time at my age!
Einstein Brainy: Proper knowledge is power!

User "Life is longing" has entered the chat

Life is longing: Here is the grandfather on the Internet! Is it strange that I don't see our Clumsy today?
President Smurf: After yesterday, he has problems with his laptop, most of all that will not come today ...

user "Charlie Chaplin NOT Clumsy " has entered the chat

Charlie Chaplin NOT Clumsy: Didn't you Wait? And by tHe way, thaNks to grandfather PeTer!
Grandfather Petro - smurf: Please grandson, I just reinstalled and rebooted your laptop.
Einstein Brainy: ?? Can you do it?!!! TEACH ME!!!
Grandfather Petro - smurf: I will teach you everything at your leisure.

user "Don Cesar de Bazan" has entered the chat

Don Cesar de Bazan: Hi all! And especially my dear Smurfette Juliet! I am your devote fan...
Smurfette - Juliet: ???? (blushes)
Hefty Romeo: Actually, I'm a devoted fan of hers!
President Smurf: By the way, who are you?
Don Cesar de Bazan: I am her prince on a white horse, I have been in love with her for a long time and I look forward to meeting her, she is the lady of my heart!
Smurfette - Juliet: Ooooh! He is so gallant! Can you upload your photo?
Don Cesar de Bazan: Not a problem, love! (uploaded a photo of the prince from Disney's Snow White as a smurf on a white rabbit)
Smurfette - Juliet: Oh, you're all my type!
Hefty Romeo: But Smurfette, am I not your type?
Smurfette - Juliet: Well, you're not a prince!
President Smurf: Where do you live, Don? I just need to know about my daughter's lover?
Don Cesar de Bazan: I live in a beautiful castle, with a beautiful garden.
Smurfette - Juliet: Just like in my dreams! (falls off chair)
Grandfather Petro - smurf: How are you with finances?
Don Cesar de Bazan: I have a Swiss bank account!
Grandfather Petro - smurf: That is great! Am I finally going to attend my granddaughter's wedding?! (starts crying with happiness)
Don Cesar de Bazan: Come tonight, to the clearing by the river, oh my Mi Amore!
Smurfette - Juliet: Can I come with my friends? Let's get to know each other?
Don Cesar de Bazan: Whatever you want, my love!

user "Smurfette - Juliet:" has left the chat

user "Don Cesar de Bazan:" has left the chat

President Smurf: Oh, how I've been waiting for this! My daughter's wedding!
Grandfather Petro - smurf: Oh I'm so worried! I'll go drink Corvalol! Oh that pressure!

user "Grandfather Petro - smurf:" has left the chat

***

Evening came.
Smurfette, wearing the most beautiful dress she had, went to meet Don Cezard de Bazan. She was accompanied by Papa Smurf, Hefty, Brainy, Vanity and Clumsy.
When she reached the clearing, she asked everyone to leave her alone by the river for a while.
Time passed, there was a sound in the bushes, Smurfette looked around, no one. she looked into the water for what it looks like and then in the reflection right above her she saw Gargamel!
- Aaaaaa!!!!!!
- Why are you screaming like that? Didn't she recognize her "Prince Charming - Don Cesar de Bazan ?!
- What did you do with him?! Where is he?!
- In front of you! He he ha! - Gargamel grabbed Smurfette with one jerk: - You see, and over there is my beautiful castle! He lifted her up so she could see his house in the distance, and then giggled again.

- I think I heard screams?! Papa Smurf said.
- I heard it too! exclaimed Clumsy.
- Forward! Save our Smurfette! shouted Hefty, and they ran to that clearing.

- Well, how do you like my horse? Gargamel pointed to Azrael as he entered the house holding Smurfette in his hand and then placed her in one of his cages: - How do you like my Swiss bank accounts? He demonstratively waved the hem of his tattered robe: - Well, never mind, soon you will become my bills! - He laughed again, so loud and piercing that Smurfette could not stand it and covered her ears with her hands.
Azrael meowed beside him, glancing slyly at the cage.
- But I can’t understand one thing, how do you know so many beautiful words?” If your usual vocabulary is so poor?
- My mom’s books are about knights, and any girl like you will think the prince is talking to her!
- But why haven’t you found yourself a rich girl yet and married her?
- Because not a single girl looking at me wants to marry me! - Gargamel made a sound like a growl and continued to prepare the potion.

- Follow me guys! Papa Smurf commanded, climbing in through the window.
- I'll save you, Smurfette! - I am your Romeo! Hefty said as he climbed up after Papa Smurf.
- Brrr, I'm scared!" Clumsy said incoherently, cowering in fear.
- Get moving already! Vanity nudged him, climbing in after him.
- Look! There's a cage! Hefty, find the key and we will help you.
Hefty noticed the key, it was lying on the table, and so without much effort, while Gargamel was busy brewing the potion, he took the key, and went to the cage, opened it, taking Smurfette in his arms. But then, as luck would have it, Azrael noticed them, meowed and chased after them. Gargamel turned around at the sound, but it was too late, Hefty
was nimble and quick and had already made it out of the house with Smurfette in his arms.

- You are my hero! Smurfette kissed Hefty on the cheek and he blushed for the first time in his life!
- Ooo! And yet not in vain we were preparing for the wedding! said Papa Smurf, and everyone went into the village.

END!