Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

march: @himeko pls come

march: @himeko get online  i beg

dan heng: what do you want

march: i wanted a genius and i got a fucking idiot

dan heng: rude ass bitch

march: DO YOU WANNA FIGHT BRO??

stelle: MARCH YOU GOT THIS 

march: THANK YOU BABE 

dan heng: sick sick homosexuals 

march: JUST DIE

welt: its 2am in the morning please go to sleep

march: no

stelle: no

dan heng: im studying

welt: why are you studying at 2 am in the morning

dan heng: i couldnt sleep

welt: ...okay...

bronya: whats going on

march: dan heng is being homophobic again :(((

seele: denial is a river in xianzhou luofu...

bronya: please never say that again

seele: what are you gonna do? kiss me??

bronya: yeah, what else would i do??? kill you?? hell no.

seele: oh.

sampo: oh my god, do i have a wedding to plan????

seele: can you just jump off a cliff or smthing

sampo: i thought we were friends :((

gepard: kindly accept my apology, sampo is just a little drunk

bronya: i thouth alchohal was not allowed in the dorms

gepard: .

gepard: its not.

bronya: gepard. 

seele: omg lil geppie is a trouble maker

gepard: STOP CALLING ME THAT

seele: no L 

natasha: everyone pls just go to sleep, its 2 am. sampo stop drinking. @himeko are you there?

silence

natasha: im guessing not, march just wait and stop being annoying.

natasha: good night

natasha has gone offline

serval: that was so hot

gepard: u heard her, go sleep

serval: fineeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, see you tommorow lil geppie <3

serval has gone offline

gepard has gone offline

sampo: aww lil geppie is now crying :(((

seele: how do you know that

sampo: im in his room

seele: arent u supposed to be in ur dorm...

sampo: oh

sampo: ye i guess i was

sampo has gone offline

silverwolf: HERTA GIVE ME BACK MY PROJECT SEKAI ACCOUNT PLEASE ILL DO ANYTHING

herta: anything, you say??

silverwolf: YES ANYTHIGN I NEED THE NEW 4 STAR MAFYUU CARD PLEASE

herta: hmmm...no

silverwolf: PLEASE GOD 

silverwolf: @kafka TELL HERTA TO GIVE ME MY ACCOUNT NOW

herta: and who said i would listen to kafka just cause you ask?

silverwolf: idk man im pulling out all the shots

silverwolf: @blade pls

blade: im doing something shut up

jingyuan: im something <3

silverwolf: what...?

silverwolf: oh

silverwolf: OH EW STOP GET OUT LEAVE RUN YOUR SO GROSS

himeko: @march what do you want

march: what took u so long im literaally dying here

himeko: got into a bit of trouble

march: oh shit are you okay?

himeko: yeah im fine now

kafka: no shes not her legs are still shaking

himeko: just shut up kafka

kafka: you didn't deny it???

himeko: ..yeah

march: WOAHOHHOAHOAHOAHAAHOAHAOHAHOA

stelle: kafka what. is there someone you wanna tell me?

march: IS THERE SOMETHING YOU WANNA TELL US???

himeko: theres nothing, kafka was just stressed and i helped out

kafka: i banged her hard dw

march:...was that why the entire building was LITERALLY SHAKING.

kafka: oh. 

kafka has gone offline

himeko: im going to kill that bitch

himeko has gone offline

tingyun: if u pay me enoguh march i could get you some pics of them ;)

fu xuan: please dont

tingyun: why not dear??

fu xuan: its call PRIVACY MAYBE?

tingyun: idk what that means

fu xuan: fucking hell

tingyun: you could fuck me sure

fu xuan: id rather die

tingyun: im not bad at sex tho

fu xuan: why do you know...?

tingyun: ive been told

fu xuan: by who??

tingyun: you, when u were drunk. 

jing yuan: fu xuan youve been drunk??? AND YOU DIDNT TELL ME???

tingyun: i  thought u were having sex with blade

jing yuan: no he fainted so im bored now

tingyun: oh okay anyway

fu xuan: WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE FAINTED???

jing yuan: well, he just, fainted? 

fu xuan: fucking- ugh you guys r so annoying

fu xuan has gone offline. 

tingyun: hmm dw ill calm her down <3

fu xuan has gone offline.

march: @himeko I STILL NEED YOU YK???

himeko: one second 

kafka: HEKL ME IEM GETTING TYUIED UP HEJP ME 

kafka has gone offline. 

silverwolf: bro's waffling

dan heng: i think she said 'help me im getting tied up help me'

march: oh

silverwolf: oh

himeko: okay what do you want march

march: i need help with stelle

himeko: whats wrong

stelle: whats wrong with me??

march: she keeps biting me

stelle: lies 

himeko: no i believe march, just endure it, she wont stop any time soon, anyway bye

march: WAIT NO COME BACK

himeko: WHAT DO YOU IM TRYING TO FUCK THE BRAINCELLS OF KAFKA

march: oh...

march: sigihighishgi just go

himeko: THANK YOU

himeko has gone offline. 

bronya: STOP MARCH WHY DID YOU TELL HIMEKO TO GO ON. HIMEKO IS IN THE DORM NEXT TO ME I CAN HEAR THEM

seele: if i may add, they are really loud

march: sounds like a skill issue

welt: i have some ear plugs if you need

bronya:PLEASE

bronya has gone offline. 

seele: pussy i can endure the noises 

seele: shit

seele: forget my past comment i will need the ear plugs as well

seele has gone offline.

march: HEKELPEP

silverwolf: herta u still havent given me back my account :(

herta: why do you think im giving it back to you 

silverwolf: bc...yk 

herta: no i do not know

silverwolf: dont make me say it

herta: i really dont know what u mean

silverwolf: cause...u love me or smthing?? IDK PLEASE JUST GIVE IT BACK

herta: you actually cant say love...omg thats adorable. 

silverwolf: shut up just give me the accout back

herta: say i love you and i will

silverwolf: im not cringe

herta: then no more mafyuu card for you...

silverwolf: PLEASE ILL DO ANYTHING

herta: okay then say i love you

silverwolf: ...anything apart from that

herta has gone offline.

silverwolf: NO COME BACK

silverwolf: OKAY ILL SAY IT FINE @herta

herta: im listening?

silverwolf: i love you

herta: aww i love you too <3

silverwolf: okay give me back my account

herta: nahh

silverwolf: HWAT

silverwolf: IM LITERALLY GOING TO CRY PLEASE IVE BEEN SAVING FOR SO LONG

herta: i dont even have ur account love

silverwolf: wait what

herta: yeah.

silverwolf: wait so ive actually been hacked??

herta: ...yeah.

silverwolf: ur fucking joking

herta: yeah dw ill give it back

silverwolf: finally

herta: manners??

silverwolf: ...thank you

herta: thats my good girl <3

silverwolf has gone offline.

herta: pussy 

herta has gone offline. 


himeko: @tingyun here

himeko: kafkashandstiedtothebackandablindfoldon.png


tingyun: OH MY GOD THANK YOU SO MUCH

himeko: no prob

blade: holy fucking shit

silverwolf: BOTTOM KAFKA REAL

herta: bottom silverwolf will soon be real when i arrive to your dorm, i hope ur ready

silverwolf: im jumping out the window bye guys

silverwolf has gone offline. 

natasha: do you guys know what sleep means

serval: pls calm down

natasha: no its fucking 2 am in the morning, we have school in 7 hours and ppl are getting banged, getting drunk and about to commit suicide. 

natasha: so please my dear serval, tell me to calm down

serval: ...

gepard: serval got HUMBLED 

natasha: gepard ur allowing someone in your dorm to get fucking drunk and you know damn well thats not part of the rules. 

natasha: @sampo get here now

gepard: ill get him

sampo: HELLOOO FRIENDS ^^

natasha: do you want me to hit ur head on a brick wall until u bleed?

sampo: thats not very friendly behaviour

natasha: then i very strongly urge you that you stop drinking and go to sleep

serval: me like strong women🫶

natasha: shut up and go to sleep

serval: yes ma'am

serval has gone offline. 

natasha: @himeko are you gone with kafka

himeko: almost

kafka: SITNCK YOUR FINGESBACK IN ME GOD 

himeko has gone offline.

kafka has gone offline. 

natasha: what the fuck.

himeko: okay im done now goodnight @everyone :D

tingyun: night!!!

silverwolf: did u just bang my best friend...

himeko: yea

silverwolf: respect

natasha: EVERYONE JUST SLEEP

Chapter Text

kafka: @everyone is anyone online

himeko: aren't you supposed to be in mr nanooks class

kafka: i am

himeko: why aren't you paying attention then...?

kafka: he's fucking boring 

himeko: sweetheart.

kafka: yes?

himeko: if u pay attention in his class, ill let you top tonight

kafka: BET

kafka has gone offline. 

march 7th: are you gonna actually let her top

himeko: no LMAO

silverwolf: AS YOU SHOULD 

stelle: HELP

bronya: stop bullying kafka :(

himeko: stop bullying seele and ill think about it

bronya: no chance

march: not you guys bullying ur partners

stelle: you always make me shower when i come back from the gym :(

march: BC YOU ALWAYS SMELL LIKE SWEAT AND TRASH FOR SOME REASON???

stelle: ...

march: ...

march: stelle.

stelle: yes babe?

march: dont babe me.

march: have you been going through trash.

stelle has gone offline. 

march: oh dear god

march: @kafka whats wrong with stelle 

Automated reply: Kafka is paying attention in class to top Himeko tonight

himeko: oh she thought i was serious...

blade: so fucking stupid

kafka: I CAN STILL SEE THE TEXTS YK??

himeko: you lasted 2 minutes kafka

kafka: PLEASE GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE 

himeko: ...thats was weirdly attractive..

kafka: omg do u have a begging kink??? NAUGHTYYYYY

himeko: SHUT UP

kafka: @everyone HIMEKO HAS A BEGGING KINK1!!!!

welt: oh

serval: LS IM WHEEZING

natasha: welcome to the top club himeko 

kafka: excuse me im the top

himeko: what did you say sweetheart?

kafka: nothing ma'am

himeko: that's a good girl

silverwolf: EWEWEW KAFKA JUST GOT A NOSEBLEED HIMEKO

himeko: no way

himeko:you're joking...right?

silverwolf: I WISH I WAS SHE CANT STOP BLEEDING

himeko: fuck

march: IM LOOSING BREATH I CANT

bronya: thats quite funny actually

jing yuan: PLS

den heng: you guys know that the teachers monitor this gc right?

blade: why did you tell them it was funnier when they didn't know 

jing yuan: such a part pooper

stelle: TEACHERS CAN SEE THE GC??

herta: are you just knowing that

silverwolf: YOU KNEW AND U DIDN'T TELL ME???

herta: you didn't?

silverwolf: NO????

herta: sometimes i wonder how stupid u are actually

silverwolf :(

silverwolf has gone offline. 

kafka: herta apologize

herta: i thought u were busy having a nosebleed

kafka: im fine now, but apologize to silverwolf

herta: why

kafka: cause u upset silverwolf

herta: skill issue

kafka: honestly yes but silverwolf is sad so just do it

herta: guhgughugh

herta: @silverwolf silvie im sorry :(

kafka: SILVIE????

herta: shut up

herta: @silverwolf silvie im really sorry, i didn't mean to upset you

silverwolf: okay

herta: how should i make it up to you?

silverwolf: nothing

herta: hmmm

herta: ill buy you robux

silverwolf: ily 

herta: ilyt

kafka: you didnt say you love me when i bought you robux??

silverwolf: cause i dont fucking like you 

kafka: that can really hurt somones mental health

silverwolf: your already fucking insane and crazy about himeko

kafka: im not??

silverwolf: @himeko

himeko: what???

kafka: LORDDDDDDD PLEASE ONE CHANCE PLEASE

himeko:...we're already dating kafka...

kafka: how the fuck did i pull you

himeko: honestly no idea

welt: himeko thinks your attractive kafka

kafka: OH???

himeko: no i think you look smell and look like a raccoon mixed with a wet dog

stelle: thats not a bad thing

march: it really is 

stelle: ill change my perfume then :(

march: FINALLY PRAISE THE LORD @EVERYONE

dan heng: YOUR CHANGING YOUR PERFUME? 

welt: we have won the war

himeko: HALLELUJAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

stelle: did i actually smell that bad

march: im not telling her guys

dan heng: dibs not it to telling stelle

welt: dibs not it

march: DIBS NOT IT

himeko: yall are just mean 

himeko: @stelle well

himeko: you could smell better :)

kafka: pussies, ill say it

kafka: you smell fucking shitty 

stelle: :(

stelle has gone offline.

himeko: KAFKA. 

kafka: what?

himeko: THAT WAS MEAN

kafka: oh well

kafka: wait

kafka: i havent been paying attention to mr nanook

himeko: ig you cant top tonight then 

kafka: NO PLEASE MY LEGS ARE LITERALLY GETTING VERY  SORE

himeko: L

silverwolf: HAAHAHHAHAA

seele: pussy, cant handle the grind

bronya: your the one who tapped out when i just put a finger on ur coochie dont say shit

seele: I WAS VERY SENSITIVE

bronya: all 7 times that ive done it?

sampo: SLAYED 

seele: sleep with one eye open

bronya: your not gonna get a wink of sleep once im done with you seele

seele: oh

dan heng: just a reminder than teachers can see the gc

jing yuan: STOP REMINDING THEM HGUGHUG YOUR NO FUN DANIEL

blade: DANIEL???

jing yuan: dont say anything baldie

kafka: BALDIE I CANT BREATHE

Chapter Text

bronya: i love you my butterfly <3

seele: SOGRHGOW STOP YIT DONT SAY TAT OUT OF CONTEXT

bronya: aww you're so adorable when your flustered 

seele: STOP THSI IM ON A MISSION YOU CAN'T DO THAT WITHOTU GIVING ME A WARNING

seele: YOURE HAVING SOOO MUCH FUN AREN'T YOU??

bronya: mhm

seele: ugh i hate you

bronya: i love you

march: CAN YOU GUYS TAKE THIS TO DMS??? SOME OF US ARE SINGLE HERE

stelle: im right here???

march: you never took me on a date 

march: you never asked me to be your girlfriend

march: we just kinda...started yk??

stelle: oh..

stelle: well i could like, do something if u would want?

march: no its

march: its fine

march: ill talk you later stelle :)

stelle: wait-

March has gone offline.

stelle: shit 

Stelle has gone offline. 

serval: okay i just back read the chat and discovered 2 things. 

serval: 1. bronya and seele have a very cringe yet romantic text messages 

bronya: wait...i said those things in this gc...?

serval: yep. 

seele: BRONYA U MADE ME LOOK LIKE A BOTTOM

bronya: but you are a bottom??? i cant spread misinformation online

sampo: HAHHAHAHAHAH BOTTOM SEELE LMALMAOAMLAOA

seele:  Poll to remove Sampo from the gc @everyone 

natasha: i vote against

sampo: TY NAT I LOVE YOU

serval: watch your mouth sampo koski 

natasha: don't worry ml, im yours already

serval: stop ur making me giggle

serval: in that case i vote against

seele: THIS AINT FAIR UR ONLY VOTING AGAINST CAUSE UR GIRLFRIEND IS VOTING AGAINST

serval: no im also voting against cause we are talking about geppie's little boyfriend

geppie: EXCUSE ME??

geppie: wait.

geppie: WHO THE FUCK CHANGED MY NAME

Serval has gone offline.

geppie: son of a- 

geppie: whatever

seele: @everyone need more votes 

welt: against

welt: never really met sampo but i think he is okay

sampo: THANK YOU GRANDPA!!!

welt: nevermind im voting for. kick this sonic looking ass out of this gc ban him if u can as well

dan heng: this is the most emotion ive seen of welt so far i love it

silverwolf:  HELPEPELPEEPELPELPEL SONIC LOOKING ASS

herta: WELT GOT SASS 

Meanwhile...


stelle added kafka & himeko into "Opertaion: love"

kafka: what do you need, himeko are in the middle of a date

himeko:  you're asking me to send you girlfriend asmr

kafka: like i said we are in the middle of a date

stelle: i did NOT need to know that

himeko: whatever

himeko: what do you need?

stelle: basically i never asked march out on a date  or asked her to be my girlfriend and i think shes sad about it

kafka: are you slow

stelle; what

kafka: WHY DIDNT YOU ASK MARCH?

kafka: ARE YOU SLOW???

stelle: STOP I JUST NEVER THOUGHT I NEEDED TO CAUSE IT WAS OBVIOUS WE BOTH LIKED EACH OTHER

kafka: WELL THATS STUPID ISN'T IT

kafka: YOU DONT JUST ASSUME THAT YOUR DATING IF YOU HAVENT EVER MADE IT CLEAR TO THE OTHER PARTY OR PARITIES 

stelle: oh

kafka: so whats your plan

stelle: and thats why i need you guys' help

stelle: you guys may have a concerning relationship but if u boil down the insanity of kafka, you guys are really cute

kafka: was that supposed to be a compliment

stelle: sure

stelle: so my question is, how do you ask someone on a date?

himeko: so you really never thought about this

stelle: not once

himeko: no wonder 

stelle: WHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

himeko: dont worry about it

himeko: heres what youre gonna do...