Chapter Text
(I Left My Heart) In Manhattan
Chapter 1
Henry’s brownstone smells exactly how Alex imagines the rooms of a Pottery Barn magazine to smell like- freshly grated cinnamon, summer air dried cotton linens and a hint of cedarwood. Upon entering the house, Alex toes off his shoes and kicks them under the bench in the hallway where Henry sits every day to slip on his own shoes.
“Hen, where ya at?” Alex calls out, following the sound of Tony Bennett’s raspy voice singing Love Scene, one of Henry’s favorites songs to listen to while cooking…or how Alex likes to put it, making a valiant effort in the kitchen.
Alex finds Henry in his favorite navy-blue apron, scraping the meat out of a spaghetti squash halve into a bowl. On the stove is something simmering in a pot and beside that, in a frying pan are long tubes of sausages, cut lengthwise to butterfly and crisping up nicely.
“Wow.” Alex blinks, taken by surprise that what Henry is cooking looks edible for once. “Look at you!” He beams. A little smile ghosts over Henry’s lips as he concentrates on the task at hand. The bloody squash is hot as hell and he really doesn’t want to burn himself…again.
“Smell any good?” Henry asks.
“It actually does…what are you making exactly?” Alex shrugs off his sweater and drapes it over the back of the bar stool on the other side of the kitchen counter. He makes his way over to Henry and peers over his shoulder to get a better look.
“Dunno…I felt like having a bunch of different things tonight.” Henry shrugs. “I wanted squash, but I also wanted sausages…I couldn’t make a decision at the market, so I bought both…then I decided I wanted mashed potatoes of all things, so I’m also making those as well.” He chuckles to himself, tapping the prongs of the fork he’s holding against the stainless-steel pot simmering loudly.
“All of it, huh?” Alex smirks. “Well, you look busy, so I don’t want to bother you for too long. I just wanted to come tell you something.”
“Oh? What’s that?” Henry asks, offering Alex a simple glance before returning his focus to the pot of boiling water.
“…June called and told me that my mom is coming into town next week.”
Henry perks up with a bright smile, “Oh? That sounds lovely for you. You haven’t seen her in months, correct?”
“Yeah.” Alex’s answer is oddly curt, which grabs Henry’s attention. The brit quirks an eyebrow at Alex with a slight tilt of his head.
“Sounds like I’m wrong then? Are you not looking forward to her visit?” He wonders.
Alex shakes his head responsively, pulling himself up onto the counter to take a seat, away from the food prep, but still in Henry’s line of sight, “No, no…It’s just that when she comes into town, I have to be the one to put her up because June’s apartment is too small and she has both Nora and Pez living with her right now.”
“Oh, yes…right. How is that going by the way? If he’s being too much of a bother to her, I can ask him to come stay with me-”
“It’s fine.” Alex cuts short again. Henry’s nose wrinkles at the tone of his boyfriend’s voice, but he doesn’t bring attention to it. Clearly something about his mother’s trip is bothering him and he’s just patiently waiting to find out what that is.
Henry hesitates, placing the lid back on his pot, “Alright…so, what did you want to tell me then?” He asks, turning down the heat.
“Just that she’s gonna be staying with me for a week.” Alex clears his throat, scratching at the back of his neck.
The taller man shrugs with a cheeky grin, “Oh, alright then. No hanky-panky at your place for a week, got it.” Henry giggles, winking at Alex.
Alex swallows, forcing himself to laugh too, but it’s short lived. “Yeah.” Alex breathes, dropping his gaze elsewhere.
Henry plants his hands on his hips, “Alex, is there more to this than you’re letting on? You’re acting rather odd.”
A pained expression plagues Alex’s face and he pushes off from the counter. “Ugh, yes.” Alex stresses, pacing back and forth in the small kitchen space. “The reason I’m telling you about my mom coming to visit is because-”
A thought crosses Henry’s mind and his face lights up with the realization. “Oh dear…you want us to meet, don’t you? This is a meet the parents type situation, isn’t it?”
Alex stammers, “Uh, well-”
Henry takes Alex by the shoulders, “Oh, Alex, love. I can’t even imagine how stressed you must be feeling…darling, of course I’d love to meet your mum. You know that if my parents lived closer, I’d have you meet them sooner.”
“No.” Alex’s voice sounds strangled, “No, it’s not that.”
Henry drops his arms, overcome with confusion, “Oh? Well, then get on with it, Alex, what is it?”
“I haven’t told her…about you…just…yet.” Alex confesses softly, his voice trailing away as he speaks, shrinking with every word out of his mouth.
Henry’s mouth falls open at the confession and instinctually he tucks his arms across his chest. “I see.”
Alex braces his next statement with his hands clasped together, “Please don’t take this the wrong way, Hen. I’m just not ready to bring her into my dating life yet. It’s got nothing to do with you and everything to do with her and my dad. I promise. Their divorce was messy and they can both be so cynical when it comes to love and I know the second I tell her that I’m in love with someone, she’s going to go on this huge rant about how love is just a made-up concept and it’s pointless because no one should have to feel so strongly about another person just so they can-”
Henry interrupts Alex with a squeak of a voice, “Love…you’re in love with me?” He questions, bracing a hand against his diaphragm. Alex blinks a few times before he goes over what he just blurted out in his head again.
“Shit, right…I was waiting for the right time to say that…you hadn’t yet, and I didn’t want to rush you if you weren’t- OOF.” Henry pulls Alex hard against his chest. “Ready.” The shorter one giggles into Henry’s shoulder, embracing him back.
“Oh, Alex!” Henry exclaims breathlessly. “I love you too.” He cries out passionately, pecking kisses into Alex’s curls. Laughter bubbles out of Alex’s throat as he continues to rub gentle hands over Henry’s back.
“I wanted to wait for us to go to dinner or something…to find the right moment. I’ve been wanting to say it.” Alex says. Henry scoops Alex up in his arms, planting a kiss on his lips, not letting the other slip away so easily.
“Neh,” Henry kisses the corner of Alex’s mouth, “This was- perfect- love.” He mumbles between kisses. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He pulls back, crying fully now.
“Oh, Hen, baby. I didn’t know you’d feel so strongly about this.” Alex muses softly, thumbing away the tears streaming down Henry’s cheeks.
“I didn’t either.” Henry laughs wetly, making quick work of wiping away his own tears. “Christ, I didn’t think I’d be the type to cry about something like this.” He gasps softly, sniffling hard while he tries to find a tissue, which he does in the form of a flimsy napkin on the dinner table. “Oh, goodness. I am so sorry.” Henry apologizes, having a seat. “I’m stopping, I swear.” He takes a deep breath, dabbing at his eyes.
Alex trails over to him, “It’s alright, trust me I’d probably be the same way if you had caught me off guard too.”
“I suppose.” Henry continues to laugh through his tears, “I just don’t know what’s come over me.” He presses a hand to his chest, trying to evaluate himself.
“It’s a huge step…we just said the ‘L’ word.” Alex shrugs with a smile. “I’m grateful that you had this kind of a reaction and it didn’t evolve into you telling me to fuck off somewhere.”
Henry laughs heartily at that, trying to dry up his tears as best as he can with the same crumpled napkin. “You’re right.” He nods his head with a giggle, “And to think, I was about to be really upset about the whole you not telling your mum thing.” He says and Alex’s eyes grow wide out of Henry’s view.
Alex takes a pause before nodding stiffly, “Y-Yeah…that, uh, would have really sucked…”
Henry catches the hesitation in his voice and snaps his head up in Alex’s direction to see the evident distress on his face, “Christ, Alex… you’re still not going to tell her about us, are you?” Henry’s appalled as he stands from his seat at the table. “I can’t believe this.” He starts away.
Alex groans with a roll of his eyes, “Henry, come on- it’s complicated!”
Henry spins on his heel, cutting an arm through the air, “No, no, it’s not. It’s not complicated. You tell me you love me, but you won’t tell your parents you’re even dating me? What the bloody hell do they care?”
“It’s not like that, Henry.” Alex attempts.
Henry pouts, “Is it because I’m white? You don’t think they’ll accept me?”
Alex balks, “What? Henry my mom is white!”
Henry throws his hands up, “How would I know? I’ve never met them!”
“Well, that’s not the reason, okay?” Alex hollers back, pacing the area near the dining table.
“Well, what the hell is it then? Is it me? Are you embarrassed of me?”
“Oh, for Christs sake, Henry, no!” Alex throws his arms out at his sides.
“Then what!” Henry shouts.
Alex licks his lips with a deep inhale, “They don’t know that I’m gay, okay...I haven’t come out to them yet, and I’m not ready.” He explains and the distraught look on Henry’s face speaks volumes.
“But you said-”
Alex cringes, letting his eyes flutter closed, “…I know what I said, Henry.”
The brit’s voice is shaky, “Y-you lied to me…you told me your parents knew from the very beginning…” His voice trails off, but he finds it once more, raising it as he yells, “You told me you were out of the closet!” He points an accusatory finger at Alex.
“I know! I know!” Alex cries out, absolutely ashamed of himself. “I was scared, okay? I was scared of losing you because you were already out to your parents before we met, and I was afraid you wouldn’t want to date me if you knew I had to hide it.”
Henry’s eyes wide as can be, “That’s bloody fucking ridiculous, Alex!”
“It didn’t feel like it at the time!” He defends.
“So, you actively chose to lie to me, then? What the hell else have you lied to me about?”
“Nothing! I swear that’s it. I’m not out to my parents- that’s it.” Alex sharply cuts a hand out in front of him. “And yes, before you say anything, I told June and Nora to go along with it. But that’s it. I promise.”
Henry takes a deep breath with a scoff and takes a step back from Alex with a turn of his cheek.
“H-Hen…please, don’t be upset with me about this. It’s been hard enough to keep this from you.”
Henry mournfully explains, “I wanted you to meet my parents this fall…they are coming for Thanksgiving with my sister…and I wanted you to meet them.”
Alex nods, “Okay…I can still-”
“No.” He shakes his head. “I…no. I don’t want you to meet them anymore.”
“What? Why? Because of this thing with mine? Henry this doesn’t change who we are!”
“I know they are going to love you and I can’t bear to make them fall in love with someone I’m dating, if I’m not even sure where it’s going.”
Alex holds his hands up defensively, “Whoa, whoa- Henry, baby, we’re still you and me.” He flicks his hands in the space between them frantically.
A few stray tears stream down Henry’s cheeks, “I can’t be with someone who lies to me, Alexander…I just can’t.”
Alex shakes his hands at his boyfriend, “No, nuh, no! Hold on! You’re getting way ahead of yourself, H. It’s not like I freaking lied about being in love with you or something! I meant that- I still do. I love you, very, very much. I lied about my parents knowing I’m gay, so what? That’s the truth. It’s not that big of a deal, we can work past this!”
“You started our relationship out on a bloody lie, Alex! You could have just told me and we could have talked about it. I would have understood.”
“I didn’t want to lose you-”
“Well, you bloody went and messed that up now, didn’t you?” Henry crosses his arms firmly.
Alex gapes at the man, “Henry.”
“Please leave, I want to be alone.”
“No. No, I’m not going anywhere. We’re not done talking. This is completely getting blown out of proportion! I didn’t come here to break things off, I’m simply asking for time and forgiveness!”
“I’m done talking about this and I’d like for you to leave. Now.” Henry hurriedly swipes at the fresh stream of tears, wishing he could make them stop.
“Look, I’m used to dealing with the emotional side of you, Henry, but this is…you’re usually more levelheaded than this, H…you seem extra-”
“I think the word you’re looking for is hurt, Alex. It’s what I am- hurt.” The blonde bites.
Alex sighs, “I was going to say sensitive.”
The older man’s eyes widen, retracting back after a second, “Oh, so because you hurt my feelings, I have to have an excuse for being upset, is that it?”
He sighs, scrubbing his hands down his face, “That’s not what I’m saying. This is getting out of hand.” Alex groans, throwing his head back.
“I agree. You should go.”
“Jesus, Henry would you just let me talk-”
“You had the chance to talk, for the last six months of our relationship. I’m not willing to listen at the moment, so I think you better leave.”
“But-”
“Go.” Henry stands firm with tense shoulders and clenched fists; a form of body language Alex isn’t familiar with Henry carrying ever.
“Fine, but we’re gonna have to talk about this sooner or later. I’m not giving up that easily.”
“Very well. Just not now.” Henry frowns, watching his boyfriend snag his sweater off the barstools’ back before starting off toward the front door. Henry doesn’t follow, rather he remains in the kitchen with feet planted firmly, until the brownstone’s front door opens and slams shut, signally Alex’s departure.
Henry finally lets out the breath he’s been holding, as a sob, “Shite.” He braces a hand against the marble countertop and tries to take deep breaths to calm down, but they don’t come. David had kept his distance during their argument but found his way into the kitchen to comfort his human. Henry sunk down to the floor with his back pressing against the cabinets and pulled his pup into his lap.
“Oh, David…what do we do?” Henry sighs, tipping his head back with his eyes closed as he rubs soothingly at David’s ears.