Chapter Text
It had only been a couple of weeks since Peter had officially become an Avenger.
He was officially a fucking Avenger!!!
Peter was still freaking out about that. Ned was worse though. He would go on rants for hours on how cool it was that his best friend was an Avenger.
Since the initiation he saw the team and spent time with them every day.
May had gone on a much needed vacation to Europe, fully paid by the one and only Tony Stark, so Peter had been spending his days in Queens and his nights at the compound with all of the Avengers.
The Avengers had sort of become a family to the boy. At first it felt like he was always intruding. On their traditions, on their space, in their home. But after a night of Mario Kart and Monopoly, Peter no longer felt like an intrusion.
They would have game or movie nights once or twice a week, more if someone was having a bad day and just needed company. They had family dinners every Sunday night, and they had training days on Saturdays.
His days were mostly routine.
Wake up early in the morning.
Drive himself to school. (It was more Karen driving the car since in Mr. Stark’s words, “I would be a fool to let the spider-kid drive himself to school.” So his mentor/father figure had installed way too many protocols and safety measures into the car. He had even made it bulletproof.)
Go through the school day like normal and have Decathlon team practice after school most days.
He would then patrol until he was tired or until he got injured.
Then he would make his way back to the compound and after spending some quality time with the Avengers, he would go to sleep and start it all again in the morning.
He liked the routine.
He liked having something to rely on every day. The structure lulled him into a sense of peace.
Today however, was different. Today was the first Friday of the month. Today was graveyard day.
11 Years Ago
“C’mon buddy we gotta go.” Uncle Ben’s voice cut through the haze that was six year old Peter Parker’s thought. It had been a couple weeks since the unfortunate plane crash that had claimed his parents.
“I don’t wanna go.” Peter’s voice was high pitched and filled with emotion. Sadness. Grief. Loss.
His Uncle stepped through the doorway he had been leaning against and walked over to Peter’s bed. He crouched down next to the boy who was sitting on the edge of the bed so that he was under his eye level.
“Why not Pete?”
The little boy sniffed as tears started to roll down his face. “I don’t want to see their graves. I want them!” His voice managed to become even higher pitched on the last word.
Ben gave him a small but comforting smile. “I’m sorry bud. This is the best I can do.”
Peter logically knew that he couldn’t see his parents again. They were gone. Dead. Six feet under. In some place better. With the angels.
He gave a small nod and hopped off the bed.
“I’m ready.” He sounded like he was trying to affirm to himself that he was indeed, ready.
After that it became tradition for Peter to go to his parent’s graves on the first Friday of each month.
3 years ago.
Peter and his Aunt May stood in front of the three graves. The funeral had just ended but Peter couldn’t bring himself to leave. It had been his fault that Uncle Ben had died. If only he had stopped that robber when he had the chance.
But Peter had been weak and another person with the Parker name had suffered because of it.
Because of Peter, there was another grave to visit on Friday’s like these.
1.5 years ago
A clock tower. A fucking clock tower.
Gwen had fallen and Peter couldn’t save her. Peter had let the glider hit the clock tower, and Gwen had died because of it.
Gwen’s blood was on his hands.
But so was Harry’s.
He didn’t mean to kill the Goblin. But he wasn’t beating himself up about it.
It hurt that he was never going to see his friend again, but Harry had died the second the Goblin had appeared. Peter’s had refused to give Harry his blood but Harry had still found a way to alter his DNA. Once that happened, there was no going back. So Peter hadn't killed his best friend, he had killed a monster. That was something that it took a while for him to come to terms with.
Both of them had been buried in the same graveyard as the rest of his family. Just a few rows over.
Two more graves for Peter to visit.
OoOoOoOoOo
Ever since that first day, Peter held up the tradition.
May almost could never go. She had so many shifts at random times throughout the day that she couldn’t go with Peter. But Peter knew that she went when she could.
Sometimes Ned and MJ tagged along with him to pay their respects. They hadn’t been as close to Gwen and Harry as Peter had been, but they had still been friends. Ned’s dad was buried in the same graveyard and MJ grandma, who she had been really close to was also there.
None of the Avengers were aware of this little habit. He wasn’t sure how much they knew about all of the people he had lost. Mr. Stark knew about his parents and Ben, but he didn’t know if he knew about Gwen and Harry.
He hadn’t lived with the Avengers on the last first Friday, but he did now.
As the final bell rang, signaling the end of the school day, Peter instantly went to his car where he met Ned and MJ. They were coming with him today.
Peter and MJ got into the front seats while Ned sat in the middle seat in the back. They normally don't speak that much on these days. At least to each other.
Peter let Karen drive but he put his hands on the wheel so it wouldn’t look weird to anyone passing. Karen parked the car at the familiar flower shop. He had been going to this flower shop for over a decade.
The lady behind the counter greeted the, now familiar to her, teenagers.
“Your normal orders?” Her voice was soft and sweet. She knew what they were getting flowers for without asking. She was just like that. She never pried into who they had lost and the three of them were very thankful for that.
“Yes please.”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Please.”
The lady handed them their bouquets of flowers.
MJ and Ned had the basic grieving assortment, as Peter called it, which was Poppies for memorial and chrysanthemums for happiness.
Peter on the other hand, had what most would seem as a random assortment.
Sunflowers and Lilies for his parents. Loyalty and devotion.
African Violets for Ben. Spiritual wisdom.
Pink tulips for Gwen. True love.
And black irises for Harry. Honor.
Ben had always picked out the flowers for his parents. One year Peter had asked what they meant and Ben got him a book on flower symbolism. After he lost a person, he would read the book until he found a flower that suited them.
Peter used the card Mr. Stark had given him and paid for everyone. They then got back in the car and made their way to the graveyard. They were still silent.
OoOoOoO
They had gotten to the graveyard and branched out to their different spots across the graveyard. Peter was currently standing in front of his parents’ and his uncle’s graves.
“Hey guys. Here I am again. Like that stupid song. Here I am again on my own. Going down the only road I’ve ever known .” Peter sang softly to himself so no one else could really hear it. “Since I last talked to you guys I moved in with the Avengers and officially became one of them. I hope you guys are proud of me. I’ve tried to become someone that you would be proud of. Minus the whole killing the Goblin thing, I think I've done pretty well. Don’t worry about May though, she’s just taking a vacation. I’m not sure what’s going to happen when she gets back though. I don’t want to leave her.”
Peter didn’t know what else to say so he just leaned down and set the flowers under their graves. He held onto the other two bunches and made his way over to his friends' graves. Ned and MJ were already there waiting.
The story that everyone had been told was that Harry and Gwen had been casualties in a fight between the Green Goblin and Spider-man. Only Peter, Ned, and MJ, knew the truth about what happened. Because they had been good friends and died together, their families had buried them next to each other.
Peter reiterated what he had said to his family and then set the flowers down. Ned and MJ said their pieces but Peter struggled to stay focused on what they were saying. These days were always tough for him. They brought up so many emotions. And Peter struggled to work through them like a normal person.
After they finished, the group wordlessly walked back to Peter’s car. Peter dropped them off at their homes’ and then made his way back to the compound. Normally, Peter would go on patrol at this point, but he didn’t have it in him right now. So he told Karen to take him back to the compound and put on his sad music playlist.
He let the music flow into his brain and occupy the space that was being taken up by thoughts that he would rather not think. The drive was a little over an hour, but Peter was thankful for the time to just have some peace before the chaos of the compound and his goofy ah somewhat family.
OoOoOoO
Peter was quiet at dinner that night. Something everyone at the table had seemed to pick up on. Tonight the people present at dinner consisted of Tony, Pepper, Nat, Steve, Clint, Bruce, Sam, and Bucky. Wanda and Vision were out on a date or they would have been there.
Everyone had tried to ask him questions or just involve him in a conversation, but he would only answer in one word sentences or just nod and shake his head.
To say the least, they were all worried. Peter was like a son to Tony and Pepper and like a nephew to the rest of them. So to see the usually energetic and talkative teenager like this, it made them all freak out.
Eventually it was Nat who brought it up.
Peter felt someone kick his leg under the table and looked up from his plate where he had just been pushing around his food, to see Nat looking at him questioningly.
He just stared back.
“What’s wrong little spider?” Little spider had been her nickname for him since the day they had met.
Peter knew he wouldn’t be able to avoid the question. He also knew he couldn’t lie to her.
He barely registered that the rest of the table had fallen quiet. Waiting to see what he had to say.
Peter took a breath before addressing the Russian spy.
Every first Friday of the month I go visit the graveyard in Queens where my family’s at. I give them flowers and talk to them. It was just harder than normal today. I don’t know why.” He gave a small shrug at the end as he looked up at Nat.
She was looking at him with a soft expression on her face.
“How many people have you lost?” The question came from Clint. He was sitting next to Nat.
He looked over to him. The archer too, had a soft expression on his face and his eyes held a look of pity.
“My mom, dad, and uncle.” Peter didn’t add Gwen and Harry. He didn’t want to go into that if none of them knew about them.
There were now looks of pity coming from everyone at the table. Pepper who was sitting next to him wrapped her arm around him and gave him a small hug.
He let a single tear roll down his face and then pulled away from the woman who was now like a mom to him. Next to May of course. And Nat was after Pepper.
Wow, he had a lot of maternal figures in his life.
The table was silent for a few moments but then the conversation started back up again. This time Peter joined.