Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was nearly noon before the house was ready for the new arrivals. The floors gleamed, there were fresh linens in two of the upstairs bedrooms, and judging by the silence in the kitchen, they would have a cool lunch waiting when they got back. If there was anything left undone, it was the lawn, which hadn't been mown in over four days. Ah, well, couldn't be helped. Their new house guests weren't expecting perfection, anyway, or they wouldn't have flown halfway around the world to live in a house that was nearly one hundred years old.

Umino Iruka had gotten the house, and the land it sat on, for a steal. The little town of Lyberday had a number of such properties, former mansions built at the turn of the century and kept like family heirlooms until the families, most often political refugees, moved on and never looked back. New Switzerland, like her contemporary, had a history of taking in any who wanted asylum. Unfortunately for little gems like Lyberday, the wealthiest visitors never contributed enough to the economy to support the extravagant estates they left behind. They fell into disrepair and became public eyesores no one could afford to even tear down.

When Iruka had come here, the sprawling estate had been overgrown and almost scary with neglect. The thin wall of forest used to separate the west side of town from the surrounding fields had crept into the yard and merged with grass and weeds, high enough to wade through. It had taken weeks to cull the yard, and much longer to make sure stepping on the wrong board on the second floor didn't send a person crashing down into the hall below. The town council was happy to see the property cleaned up, but they hadn't offered any assistance with the repair costs. While they welcomed strangers, they preferred wealthy ones.

Fixing up the estate had wiped out Iruka's savings, mostly bonds left by his estranged grandparents. He didn't worry about it too much since he had a guidance position at the high school, and he had gotten quite a few offers to tutor or lecture at the local university branch. Apart from steady work, the consulate in Osaka had given him a monthly stipend for taking custody of one of their more troublesome wards. He had kept that in a separate account for when Naruto got a little older and decided he was ready to break out on his own. But the money was there, available in case of emergencies. All things considered, he thought he was doing rather well for a single parent with big ideas.

At twenty-three, Iruka was far too young to have a teenage son. He simply didn't have any world experience, and he couldn't remember a thing about his own parents, or how he had been raised. He had seen a lot, though, since he realized what he was - an early-bloomer and late-comer in the first generation of mutants. If he had been born a few years earlier or later, he wouldn't have had to go through as much pain and confusion growing up at a time when the world was still coming to grips with the fact that mutants were real and that they wouldn't disappear just because a few military factions and religious groups wanted them to.

Because he had been born at the end of the first wave, Iruka hadn't known to hide like the early mutants had. But neither had he been ostracized and studied like Naruto's generation. He had suffered in his own way, being lost in the middle, but in a way it was also a blessing. He had thought himself normal with dark personal secrets, just like everyone else, so he was used to blending into normal society.

Because he had never considered himself a pariah, he had been able to convince the people in this isolated little town that the rumors and fears spreading through the outside world were unfounded. He hadn't tried to hide what he and Naruto were. Instead, he had let them see for themselves that Naruto was just as wild, rambunctious, and normal as any other kid his age. Because that was all Naruto and mutants his age were, children in need of guidance and a safe place to grow.

The council had supported him, probably because his plans would stimulate the economy without requiring any monetary investment on their part. Iruka didn't really believe it was all because of his exemplary people skills, no matter what Naruto claimed. There were still a few holdouts in the town. There would always be a few closed minded individuals who were against anyone who was openly different. Most of the people Iruka talked to, though, were eager to see their town become a safe haven, extending a welcome to children who had nowhere else to go.

Now, less than a week after putting the invitation on the global, they were cleaning up the house in preparation for the first of what Iruka hoped were many. The only thing left was to grab Naruto and go meet them.

With a bright smile, Iruka pushed open the swaying door that separated the dining area from the kitchen. He was relieved to see Naruto sitting backwards at the counter, not a broken dish or splash of blood in sight. He still didn't trust him alone with anything that had to be cooked, but Naruto had wanted to help and sandwiches and salad were fairly basic.

"All finished?" asked Iruka.

Naruto lifted his head and looked over, his elbows still propped on the counter behind him. He was at that age where his face was a little round with baby fat, making the three whisker-like scars on either cheek stand out. He was on the short side, with an awkward lanky yet compact figure that said he was going to shoot up a few feet or die trying. At the moment he was dressed in an overly baggy jacket, the ugliest orange possible, and loose pants that Iruka knew he wore just to annoy him and make people accuse him of spoiling and over-feeding the boy. It made him look chubby, which he really wasn't, no matter how much food he shoveled away. His self-cropped blonde hair was jagged and standing up all over the place. Iruka sighed and wished he had time to grab a comb, sit on him, and try to rake some order out of the mess. Instead, he focused on the clothing.

"I thought you liked that jacket I got you," Iruka frowned.

"I do!" Naruto said quickly, all bright sky blue eyes and wide untrustworthy smiles. "That's why I'm only gonna wear it to school. I mean, we're gonna walk, right? It could get scratched or a bird might fly over and crap on it and that'd be awful! I guess it might be different if we were, say, driving, but...well, that's how it is."

Naruto flashed him a wistful smile and gave a helpless shrug. Iruka felt his left eyebrow twitch in response.

It was hard to believe with all the excitement, Naruto was still focused on the car. Now that it wouldn't just be the two of them, he had felt obligated to get one, in case of an emergency. But he didn't plan to ever have to use it. Everything in the town was within walking distance with very well maintained sidewalks and there were no fees for the public bus that made constant rounds on weekdays. Even the mayor didn't drive to work, and he had a chauffeur waiting at his beck and call. That was half the charm of the town.

Iruka forced a smile onto his face, determined not to give in. Naruto liked it when he lost his temper and yelled loud enough to make the windows rattle. He swore the boy got some weird kick out of cowering and going on about how mean and scary he was when he was mad.

"We've had the car for two days," Iruka reminded him calmly. "I said I might teach you to drive it. This summer. If you're good. You couldn't even go one day without ending up in my office."

Naruto gaped at the unfairness of it all. "That wasn't my fault! You know that Sven guy was-"

"Besides," Iruka interrupted smoothly, "Kakashi-san said they'd rather walk and get a feel for the place. I told you they'd been living in hotels. A walk across the fields will be a nice change for them."

"A walk," Naruto scoffed, grumbling under his breath. "More like a trek. What kind of moron wants to take a five hour walk in the grass when you could get picked up at the airport? I don't know, Iruka-sensei. These guys sound messed up in the head."

Iruka sighed and gave him a sad, studious look. Naruto could only take a few seconds of it before he cracked and fidgeted. Naruto flashed a weak, but real smile.

"Stop looking at me like that," Naruto waved. "I said I was fine with it. I've been helping fix up the place, haven't I? Besides, it'll be cool to have more mutants around here. Someone to wrestle with, you know? Kyuubi thinks so, too. Plus, I can't wait to have them going to school with me. Old pinched-face will snap if he has to teach a bunch of mutants in his class. That'll be great!"

Iruka winced a little. He was glad to see Naruto so enthusiastic, but he couldn't help worrying about the mischief he had planned. For now, he tried to pretend he hadn't heard anything ominous. "Are you ready to go, then? We're going to meet them partway."

"Yeah," said Naruto. "You should get a jacket, though. Kyuubi thinks it's gonna rain tonight. So it'll be cold on the way back, windy and all."

Iruka blinked in surprise. "He picked that up?"

"Yeah, when I was upstairs earlier. Airing out the rooms? He says it smells good, like right after you-" He grimaced and blushed and cut himself off, hopping off the stool. "I'll close the windows down here. We'll get back before it starts, but still..."

Iruka smiled and didn't pry. "I'll get the ones upstairs, then. I'll be right back."

Naruto waved him off and scowled the moment he was out of sight. It was hard enough living with a pervert in his head without the fox hitting on the man who was practically his dad. Iruka had assured him he wouldn't be insulted by anything Kyuubi said, since it was just another part of him, but still. Even if incoming rain did smell as good as Iruka did right after he showered, he didn't want Kyuubi saying stuff like that to him. It was just wrong.

They had talked about it a lot, and Naruto understood that Kyuubi was like his "id" - the hungry little demon everyone had that cared only about want-want-want. It was just harder in his case, since he was a mutant. His little demon wasn't so little, and it talked to him and took on a personality of its own. The trade-off was that it knew stuff and had powers that meant, as long as they worked together, Naruto could do stuff, too. So he had to get along with it. At least, Iruka told him it was better to get along with it. Naruto had his doubts sometimes.

He had met Iruka a few years ago in a hospital. He didn't remember the name of the place because he had been switching hospitals a lot back then. They had ended up seeing the same doctor, a funny fat guy with soft chairs and a cute nurse who wasn't at all nice like she looked. At least, she wasn't nice to him. He was pretty sure she had liked Iruka just fine. Kyuubi said it was because Iruka was shy and naive and people liked to take advantage of that. Naruto didn't know about that, but he hadn't liked the nurse nearly as much as the doctor. He was the one who finally got Kyuubi to talk. And he was the one who introduced him to Iruka, which made him great, in Naruto's opinion.

He didn't really know why he had been living in hospitals before Iruka took him in. No one would ever tell him, and all Iruka said was that he'd had an accident when his mutant talents woke up. That seemed to happen a lot with the second generation of mutants, according to Iruka. Naruto didn't know personally because Iruka was the only mutant he had ever met. But it seemed most kids who found out about them being mutants before they hit puberty found out by accident. Really public accidents. Often violent.

Kyuubi had told him a little about it, once they started talking and getting along better. According to him, Naruto had gotten lost and hurt, and Kyuubi had woken up angry. Kyuubi didn't remember anything before that, either, so Naruto guessed he would never really know about his parents or where he had been before he ended up living in hospitals. Kyuubi just said he had woken up angry and threatened, and he had killed some people. A lot of people. Kyuubi had enjoyed it, too. Naruto sort of wished Kyuubi had kept that last bit to himself, especially since Iruka and the doctor both told him Kyuubi was just another part of him. He didn't like the idea that a part of him enjoyed killing people. But really, it didn't feel real. He didn't remember it himself, even if Kyuubi did, so it didn't feel real. Iruka said it was best that he didn't remember, since that meant he wouldn't ever feel guilty about something that wasn't his fault.

Whoever Kyuubi had killed couldn't have been very important people because the hospitals hadn't blamed him for it. A lot of the doctors and nurses were afraid of him back then, though. Kyuubi had gone back to sleep after that first time and they had been afraid he might wake up and hurt people if Naruto was angry or upset. Naruto hadn't known that at the time. The doctors just did tests on him and put him to sleep so they could ask him questions. It was funny thinking about that now. They were talking about hypnosis, putting him to sleep so they could find Kyuubi and talk to it instead of him. They didn't know what Iruka and the fat doctor knew - that Kyuubi was a part of him and they would have to talk to him if they wanted to talk to Kyuubi.

He had first met Iruka in the fat doctor's waiting room. Naruto was really clumsy back then. He was still a little clumsy now, but only when Kyuubi distracted him. He had bumped into the pretty nurse and banged his arm on her desk. Iruka was as much a softy back then as he was now. Kyuubi said he had probably been born a softy, and that it just got worse as he got older. Naruto thought he was probably right about that. Iruka had been worried and he had held his arm and went in to see the doctor with him. Once they were away from the pretty and really not very nice nurse, Iruka had made the bruise on his arm go away. That was really cool, too, because it was the first time he had ever seen a mutant talent. Now he knew that Iruka's ability to heal little stuff was a very minor talent, but it was still useful, and he had been in awe back then. The fat doctor had known all about it, because he had introduced them with one of his big smiles that made his eyes get lost in his cheeks.

Iruka never told him why he had been seeing that doctor, but Naruto guessed they were friends. Iruka was really smart about stuff like split personalities and hypnosis. He had started visiting him after that and showing up to sit with him when he went to see the doctor. Naruto wasn't sure how they had figured out what none of the other doctors could about getting Kyuubi to wake up without it hurting people. Iruka said they had just taken it one step at a time and made him feel comfortable - because Kyuubi wouldn't be comfortable if Naruto wasn't comfortable. That, and Naruto wasn't a little kid anymore.

Most mutants were fully aware of themselves by the time they were twelve, and even if the doctors didn't know when Naruto was born, they had a good estimate. Naruto guessed maybe Kyuubi would have woken up again, even if he had never met Iruka and the fat doctor, just because he hit puberty and mutants always found their talents by the time they were that old.

Kyuubi said he had just gotten restless and tired of sleeping. Naruto thought that was probably true because Kyuubi had been a real ass when he woke up. It was really hard listening to him at first. He talked all the time when Naruto wanted him to shut up, and he wouldn't talk at all when Naruto wanted him to. He wouldn't say anything to the doctor at first, either, and Naruto had been afraid he and Iruka would think he was making it up when he told them about the bitchy voice in his head.

It was bad at first. They argued and when Naruto tried ignoring him, Kyuubi would make him do stuff without meaning to. Like he would go to pick up a cup and he would hold it too hard and break it, even if it was really thick and hard to break. They fought like that for a month or two, and Iruka and the doctor did all sorts of funny mind stuff to calm them down. Iruka called them memory games and relaxation techniques. Naruto just remembered that they didn't really work, even the fun ones.

It got worse until Kyuubi accidentally hurt Iruka. They were just arguing in Naruto's mind, a little angrier than usual, and he knew Kyuubi hadn't meant anyone to get hurt. That was when he found out that Kyuubi didn't really have control of the stuff he could do. Naruto hadn't thought Kyuubi could do anything besides making him stronger than he usually was, but it turned out Kyuubi could do a lot of stuff. Somehow, while the doctor was doing one of his calming talks, Naruto had ended up catching on fire. Sort of. It was orange and red like fire, and the chair he was sitting on got hot and smoldered until the sprinklers went off. He had jumped up with that fire-like stuff all over him, even with the water, and Kyuubi had thrown a fit in his head. They had both been scared, and having Kyuubi scared was horrible because Kyuubi was the one who had started it and neither of them knew how to turn it off.

He found out later that it wasn't like a real fire because his clothes hadn't burned. But he had thought it was at the time and he had tried to pat it out. Iruka and the fat doctor had tried to help, but Kyuubi had gotten scared and angry when someone touched him. Iruka ended up getting burned a little and somehow Kyuubi had made his fingernails sharp and he had scratched him. Just one swipe to knock him away, but it was deep enough to splash blood on them both. That shut Kyuubi up, though, made him stop that weird wailing in his head, and the fire-stuff, too. Naruto guessed Kyuubi had liked Iruka as much as he had, even back then, which made sense, since Kyuubi was supposed to be just another part of him.

Kyuubi said he would be good after that, said it was an accident and that it wouldn't happen again, ever. Naruto hadn't said anything because he had felt horrible, even though everyone plus Kyuubi said it wasn't his fault. Iruka healed himself, too, so Naruto didn't get in trouble when the orderlies ran in. They didn't notice anything but the blood, and the fat doctor told them Naruto had gotten a headache and a nosebleed. Naruto wasn't sure how they had explained about the chair having a big black spot on it, or why the sprinklers went off. Iruka wasn't a very good liar, so he figured the doctor must have made something up.

He had ended up going back to his room early that day and having a long talk with Kyuubi. They decided they had to do like Iruka and the doctor said and start getting along, because Kyuubi didn't want to go back to sleep and Naruto wasn't going to talk to him anymore if he had to be afraid someone might get hurt every time he and Kyuubi disagreed about something.

Iruka didn't visit him for a while, and Kyuubi said he was probably done with whatever he had been seeing the doctor for. Naruto had forgotten Iruka was only visiting him because he had to come in to see the doctor, anyway. Without Kyuubi to talk to, it would have been really lonely. They didn't blame Iruka for not wanting to visit anymore, though, even if it was an accident.

That was the first time Naruto really wished he didn't live in hospitals. He had always been in one, so it was weird to suddenly wish he lived somewhere else, some place where it was okay to leave and go check on a friend. He'd had a few friends who were patients, but they were usually really weird, and he had never stayed in one place long enough to get to know them. The doctor said he had the wrong idea when he asked him about Iruka, said he was busy with something but that he would come see him soon. Kyuubi didn't believe a bit of it, and Naruto was starting to learn that Kyuubi was really good at reading people. The doctor just said that to make him feel better because he was moping and feeling lonely.

The doctor and Kyuubi were both wrong. The nurses told Naruto he was making 'progress' and that he would be moved to a different facility soon. Iruka didn't visit him until he was getting ready to move to the new hospital. And it wasn't a visit. Naruto didn't really get all the details, but Iruka told him he had been some sort of ward, in custody of no one, really. The city was paying to keep him and have the doctors try and figure out if he was dangerous or sick, or whatever. Iruka had to talk to a lot of people and take some kind of tests or something, and that was why he had been gone so long. He ended up getting custody of him and taking him home with him, and since he knew the same sort of therapy stuff the doctor did, he wouldn't have to live in a hospital anymore.

They lived in Japan for a few years. Naruto had been overwhelmed by everything back then. The city, the fact that he was better off not telling people about Kyuubi, learning about mutants and recent history, and eventually school. He had hated school. He had known how to read and stuff when he had woken up in the hospital, after Kyuubi went back to sleep the first time. But he hadn't really been taught anything in years, certainly not in a room full of kids who acted like it was easy to sit in a room and listen to an adult lecture for hours on end. He got into fights. The teachers didn't like him, the kids didn't like him, and Kyuubi didn't like having to be quiet all day long and not being able to help when he got into fights with wannabe bullies.

Iruka took him out that last year and taught him at their apartment, enough so that he would be able to go to school with kids his own age. Naruto had done his best to convince him he didn't need school and that Iruka knew a lot more than any of his teachers, so he could teach him anything he needed to know.

Some things were already familiar, like the streets. He didn't remember anything before the hospitals, but walking on the sidewalks was familiar. The buildings seemed too far apart for some reason, but there was still that feeling that it was normal for them to tower like that. Kyuubi didn't like the city at all, hated not being able to stare at the stars, complained about the air like it smelled bad or something, and sent him dreams about forests and rivers Naruto had only seen on television. It was funny how stuff that was strangely familiar to Naruto seemed so alien to Kyuubi. He really had to keep reminding himself that they were just two sides of one person.

It was hard. It was nice, too. He learned all about Iruka's temper, which he just loved to provoke because it was hilarious how someone so calm and nice could erupt into a vein-throbbing monster, just like that. He still had trouble with his talents when he and Kyuubi got so bored with studying quietly that they took to bickering silently. It was amazing Iruka hadn't started bopping him over the head months sooner to get them to pay attention. Even that was funny, though, because Iruka didn't bop that hard, and when his vein wasn't throbbing, his eyebrow twitched instead. Kyuubi thought Iruka had a split personality just like him that came out as the twitchy veiny Monster-sensei. Naruto thought they were just really good at getting under Iruka's skin.

He learned that his teacher, because he and Kyuubi both agreed Iruka wasn't old enough to be called father, was a druggy. Iruka really didn't like that he called him a druggy, but Naruto thought it fit. He had watched as much television as Iruka would let him get away with, so he knew all about druggies. Iruka had his vitamins every single morning, like a religious fanatic with daily prayers, some of which he forced Naruto to take, saying he had missed years of sunlight and probably had a deficiency or two. Kyuubi agreed with the sunlight part but resented getting it in the form of a pill.

Then there were the little blue ones he took before he went to sleep that Naruto had been forbidden from touching. Kyuubi swore up and down that they were poison, and convinced him to flush two bottles before Iruka caught him in the act. Naruto still didn't trust them, but he promised to ignore Kyuubi since he knew Iruka ended up spending the entire night drinking coffee in the kitchen till he could go get more. If the vitamins were taken fanatically, the blue ones were more like an addiction. They had their own rooms now that they had moved, but he knew Iruka was still getting those pills specially ordered for him. He had only caught Iruka dozing off once without taking one, and he had woken up shivering and so white that Naruto guessed all those shows about druggies going through withdrawal were right. Kyuubi said he was just too dumb to get it, but Kyuubi was so dumb he didn't feel safe around strangers unless Naruto was wearing layers of baggy clothes, so what did he know?

Things had been nice with just the two of them, three if he counted Kyuubi. He got why Iruka wanted to help other kids, because looking back he knew living in hospitals was like living in a cage. He got it, and he sort of liked the idea of helping people. He just wasn't as obsessed with it as Iruka was. He had to agree with Kyuubi on the matter, Iruka just had this thing where he wanted to save the world and as annoying as it was, that was one of the things that made him so nice. So he resigned himself to having to share Iruka with a crapload of ungrateful brats. He had gotten him first, and he would always be Iruka's favorite, so it wasn't like he felt threatened or anything. Really.

Kyuubi snorted in his head, and Naruto sneered back at him. He had finished with the windows and was waiting near the door.

He was sort of surprised Iruka hadn't complained more about his clothes. He knew Iruka had bought him that new outfit so he would look all nice and sharp when they greeted the new guys. That was why he wouldn't wear it. He didn't need to dress up to impress some leeches who were only coming to get a free place to stay. The bums. If he had any say in the matter, one of them would be out there mowing the lawn after the grass shot up from the rain that was coming. Anyone wanting to live in his and Iruka's house would earn his keep or get lost, end of story.

Kyuubi nodded in agreement and flicked his tails, but suggested that they make the man do it. The idea had him flashing Naruto a sharp, toothy grin. Naruto smothered a laugh at how evil his fox was when he was plotting.

Kyuubi was a fox. No matter what Iruka said about Kyuubi being a part of him, Naruto knew he had always been a fox. That was just the shape Kyuubi took when he closed his eyes and got into a face to face talk with him. He was a big fox, too, a red one with lots of tails, nine of them - hence his name. Naruto was sure if Kyuubi had been outside his head, he would be bigger than the house. It was appropriate, too, because his size matched his ego.

'I still don't get why we have an adult coming,' Naruto griped silently. 'If the kid has a guardian, he doesn't need to stay here. The whole point was supposed to be taking in kids who don't have any place to live.'

'He's hiding something,' Kyuubi shot back.

'Yeah, yeah, I know. Iruka-sensei can't lie to save his life. But I think he meant it when he said they didn't have anywhere to go, living in hotels and all. That's moving a lot, right? Maybe they're on the run, like criminals or something. We should get a way to do background checks on people where you just plug in the name and it tells you everything. But then they'd just give fake names. This is really dumb, you know? What if they lied to him and they're really here to catch us and do experiments and stuff? They do that to mutants all over the place! But...that's just mutants who break the law, and they don't have that sort of stuff here.'

'They say it's just the ones who break the law,' said Kyuubi, 'but we don't know that. Only the mutants they catch know for sure, and no one ever sees them again.'

'That's right...! Oh, man, this is such a bad idea. And we're not even taking the car, so we can't drive off the road if they try to take us hostage or something. What if they have guns? Even with you, I can't outrun a bullet! This is so bad...why are we walking! We'll be out there alone, miles from town and no one will hear a thing...!'

Naruto was fairly dancing in place, his eyes shut tight, hands curled into anxious fists at his side. A hand fell on his shoulder and he jumped a good foot off the ground. "Gyah! You'll never take me alive!"

'You tell him,' Kyuubi smirked in his head.

Naruto panted and blinked at Iruka from where he had plastered his back to the wall. He could feel the heat rising up to radiate off his face. "Erm..."

Iruka just opened the door and stepped to the side with a knowing smile. "Ready to go?"

"Uh..." Naruto thought about sharing his worries about guns and isolated rendezvous with strangers who might be anything from mutant-hating scientists to homicidal maniacs, but something about the way Kyuubi was snickering in his head told him to keep it to himself. "Yeah, I'm ready. But I swear, if they try to kidnap us, it's all your fault for not taking the car."

"I'll take full responsibility," Iruka nodded, prodding him out the door.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

There was a nice tang in the air, the sort that bloomed in late spring with hints of the chill to come. The breeze was fickle enough to nip at the knee high grass and bend the blades nearly in half before darting off again like it had never been. The wind and the tang, more than the hint of storm clouds over the mountains in the far distance, promised a storm by evening. Or so claimed Hatake Kakashi, nature reader expert.

He sent a sidelong glance at his companion to see how the boy had taken his confident warning. If he weren't so used to being ignored by the dark broody little brat, he might have sighed in boredom.

This was payback, he was sure, for deciding to do the kind thing and letting Sasuke carry their bags. Sasuke wanted to do everything he could to get stronger as quickly as possible, so far be it from him to carry the stuff and prevent his kid the pleasure of exercising those ever so important arm and back muscles. Not to mention the calves and hamstrings. Rolling hills and knee high grass just did wonders for building hamstrings. Sasuke should be thanking him for letting him get such a work out. At least he could put forth the effort required to twitch when Kakashi went out of his way to annoy him. Selfish, ungrateful brat.

But, really, he had known Sasuke would ignore him. Because ignoring him was the easiest way to annoy him. And no matter how Sasuke tried to convince him he existed purely to epitomize the angsty, broody little teenager, Kakashi knew his kid was a closet sadist who snickered inside his gloomy little head every time he successfully annoyed him with that 'you don't exist in my angsty world' ignoring routine of his. Sure, he had never actually seen him with any smile besides his patented shitty little Sasuke smirk, let alone caught him indulging in a sadistic giggle of manic pleasure, but he could tell just by looking at him. He could see the inner sadist sniggering from the way Sasuke refused to so much as wrinkle his nose at him. That, and the fact that he hadn't told him to shut up, yet.

Kakashi suppressed a sigh and the urge to get a book to read while they walked. He did like the way Sasuke twitched when he read one of his brightly labeled books in his presence. Unfortunately with Sasuke carrying their bags, he would have to ask if he wanted to get his book. Asking would be admitting that he had given up his attempt to con a response out of his companion without having the book to fall back on. That would mean Sasuke had won. That was unacceptable. If he couldn't spend his free time making the boy twitch, he would have no excuse to keep him around.

Kakashi was anything but a samaritan. If he gained nothing out of helping his fellow man, well, his fellow man wouldn't be getting any help, now would he? It was a matter of principle, really. He was a vagabond and his kind didn't bother with things like picking up stray kids and going out of his way to protect, feed, and teach the little buggers. Especially if they were boring selfish little buggers. As long as he remained amused, it was all good.

He was aware that his outlook on life was a bit...unique. That was such a nice word. Unique. Yes, his outlook was unique. It had to be unique, because his outlook was the only thing unique about him. The moment he had realized his mutant talent was to copy other mutant talents, he had realized he needed something unique to make him, well, unique. He could mix and match the talents he had picked up during his travels to create new ones, but they were never really his. They weren't really new, either. It was no different from having the two mutants standing together and performing their skills at the same time. Sure, he might have met one of them in Florida and the other in Kyoto, but just because the two mutants would probably never meet didn't mean that if they did meet they couldn't do the exact same thing he did when he mixed their talents. So there was nothing new there.

He liked new things, interesting things, unique things. He had been traveling since he was fourteen and despite his initial lack of funds, he had managed to get all over the place. It was actually amazing how many mutants there were around the world, if a person had the free time of a lazy vagabond to look for them. His favorites were the mutants with talents he couldn't copy. And the ones who somehow knew what his talent was, the ones who kept their distance and refused to let him near enough to touch them. It was like the way some mutants had learned to block their minds from the telepaths to keep their secrets, without having the telepathy to know the people they were blocking were telepaths. Interesting and rare. Almost as rare as telepaths themselves.

Kakashi couldn't duplicate telepathy. Oh, he had touched at least two telepaths and tried to copy their talents, with their permission, since they had known exactly why he sought them out and lazily stalked them for weeks until they had given in. He was nothing if not persistent. He was lazy when he traveled, definitely, but he didn't mind putting forth a little effort on things that proved to be very rewarding. Like making Sasuke twitch. Very rewarding. With the telepaths he hadn't gotten a reward, which was sort of rewarding in itself. It was rare, after all, to find a talent he couldn't copy. Oddly enough, while he couldn't copy telepaths, he could copy the block other mutants used to ward off telepaths. It was really interesting the way his talent worked and didn't work, depending on the mutant he touched.

With his talent, it all came down to touch. That wasn't too bad since he rather liked touching most of the time. But it could be awkward, too. He had first discovered his talent by accident, having bumped into a classmate of his. Looking back he was pretty sure the girl had no idea she was a mutant at the time. She had been, well, ugly, to put it bluntly. He didn't really think she would have let herself be ugly if she had known she could change her appearance just by staring at a picture and rubbing her hands over her eyes.

It was funny now, when he thought back to how he had accidentally made himself out to look like the elderly general in his history text. Right in the middle of class. Shocking his teacher into falling over in her chair. It was really quite amusing in retrospect. Unfortunately it hadn't been nearly as funny at the time. He hadn't realized he had changed his face and once he was ordered in front of a mirror, he had been nearly as horrified as his teacher. He had been terrified that he would be stuck like that, a teenager with the droopy face and hair of a very old, overweight man. He'd had to replay the day in his mind four times before he had made the connection with the ugly girl and that bump in the hallway a few minutes before class. After an hour, his face had turned back to normal. But his hair never did. Naturally he had never tried to use that talent again. No, looking back, it hadn't been the least bit funny.

His parents hadn't thought it was that funny, either. He had always been something of a lazy prankster. He was sure he had been born taking sly amusement from the mishaps of the people around him. He could just see himself smirking in a cradle as his sitter stubbed her toe and hopped around cursing words he wasn't supposed to repeat. So his parents had naturally thought the incident in class was some extravagant prank on his part. Then they had thought his explanation of what really happened was a prank. Then they had thought he was insane. And since the silver-white in his hair wouldn't wash out, they had thought it must have been caused by trauma of some sort. So he wasn't just insane. He was possibly dangerous.

It still amazed him how long it had taken for the first generation of mutants to be recognized for what they were. The psych wards must have been filled with kids his age who suddenly spouted outlandish stories and were committed by their horrified parents. He had never seen any in the ward his parents sent him to, but that was probably because back then mutants had been rare, widespread, and unaware of their own talents. He was sure it had been much worse in the states. Once he started traveling he noticed that there were a lot more mutants in countries made up of mixed races and ethnicity. He had spent more time in the states than he had in any other country, so he was sure their psych wards had been filled to the brim with hapless kids just like him.

He hadn't really checked when he started traveling and searching for other mutants to copy. His own time in the ward made him shy away from checking them for other mutants in the same situation he had been in. He wasn't a samaritan, after all, so there was no point finding them and feeling sorry for their situations. They were probably there, but as long as he didn't go near the buildings, he wouldn't have to admit he knew they were there. He had broken out and taken care of himself, so it wasn't like they couldn't do the same. He hadn't spent more than a month in the ward before he realized he had nothing to gain from the place, or his parents, or school and a stationary life, either. He had decided on a profitable existence of doing things only when they benefited him in some way. And so he had left to find mutants he could use to add to his collection of copied talents.

He really was quite the collector. Sasuke, who occasionally did offer his views on things, assuming his cold statement would annoy Kakashi, claimed a collector was an obsessed person, the opposite of the lazy drifter Kakashi proclaimed himself to be. Yeah, that had annoyed him. Just a little. But he didn't see his collecting talents as an obsession. It was just a way to pass time, profitable, interesting, and not boring. He had spent a month in a padded cell. The last thing he wanted was boring. So he collected and traveled and every day was spent doing something new. Or, if not new, at least entertaining and profitable.

Sasuke seemed to be an exception to his self-proclaimed mission in life. He'd had to stop and take a long hard look at what he was doing with the boy before he was able to reconcile it with his motto of profit-only.

They had met by accident, so that couldn't be helped. He had been passing through Tokyo on one of his yearly trips to Japan. He didn't like his homeland all that much, so he only stopped by for a week out of each year. He had snatched a talent from a mugger two blocks from a seedy little bar and he had stopped to play with it near an open alley. It turned out to be a really weird and useless talent. He could make things glow by touching them. Just little things, like the knife he had stolen from the mugger. He had thought the man had a glowing knife because his talent was to make metal burning hot, or something useful like that. But, no, just a bright glowing knife that had to make mugging a lot harder since the weapon would stand out even in the daytime. Whatever genetic fairy had gone around granting humans with mutant talents, she had to have been on some sort of drugs when she had handed out that one. Who needed a little glowing object when flashlights sold for pocket change?

Disappointed by the cute but not all that interesting talent, he had tossed the knife into the alley. Now that he thought about it, that careless action on his part might have made him a little to blame for meeting Sasuke. He hadn't known anyone was hiding there, but still, just randomly tossing sharp pointy weapons into shadows was asking for trouble. He had gotten trouble, too, quite a bit of it. There was a hiss of breath and movement, and his first thought was that he had impaled a cat. He'd had good senses, after all, even then. He had been living on the streets since he was too small to properly defend himself, so he had picked up quite a few things along the way of surviving to adulthood. Like his sense of smell. Any perfume, cologne, soap, body odor, anything that cried human, he could pick up from a good distance. Sasuke must have been hiding there for hours because none of his 'nearby human' radars went off when he winced and stepped over to see what he had hit.

He was less than a foot away when Sasuke so kindly returned the knife to him. The brat really was a vicious little thing. At first he was stunned, vaguely appreciative of the speed of his attacker and how small and quiet he was. Then came the blindness and pain on the left side of his face, and the warm blood in his mouth. There were few things he hated more than the taste of blood, especially his own. His instincts kicked in then, immediately noting two things. That the kid planned to kill him. And that as fast and vicious as the brat was, he might actually succeed if he worried about hurting him. He grabbed the arm with the knife and broke it.

That talent was one he had picked up from a good looking guy in Osaka during his last trip to Japan, and it was a great talent for crushing things with his bare hand. If Sasuke hadn't been so fast, he would have broken the knife instead of his arm, but he hadn't survived so long by ignoring his instincts. So he disarmed him. And damned if the brat hadn't tried to poke out his right eye with his free hand. Vicious. Seriously. If he could have done that crushing talent with both hands, he would have broken Sasuke's other arm just for the hell of it. Instead he'd had to suffice with catching it and holding him as far away from him as possible. He had half expected to be kicked in the crotch next. Instead, he had found himself staring down into two wide red eyes with black curls spinning around the pupils.

He had never figured out exactly what happened after that. He woke up in jail with a bandage covering the left side of his face and attempted murder as the charge. The guard, a big stupid looking man, who didn't care that he had lost an eye and was in serious pain, and who didn't believe that he was the one who had been attacked, told him they had picked him up at the 'scene of the crime' and that he was 'one sick bastard' for attacking a helpless kid. The guard also told him he would be charged with homicide if the kid died at the hospital. So he guessed they had both been found in the alley. And since he was the older one, they automatically assumed he was the bad guy. Just great. They would believe the kid, too, because he had been really small and everyone knew little kids didn't try to kill people. Right. And if they identified him, they would link this charge with his having been dubbed insane, toss him into prison, and he would have to break out all over again. At that moment he had been pretty sure his day couldn't get any worse.

He was corrected a few hours later when the guard came back with a disgusted face to tell him someone had posted bail and that the charges had been dropped. Good news? Not likely. Not with his bad luck.

He had barely stepped out of the building and there was the kid, looking like he had crawled out of a train wreck and left a few pounds of skin behind. His first thought was that he had bailed him out to finish the job. At least his eyes weren't spinning, and they were black now, instead of red. It was funny that he noticed the kid before he noticed the guy he was standing by. An older double, tall, kinda sickly looking with a grayish pallor and lines under his eyes, like he was sixty instead of in his early twenties. He probably noticed the kid first because his older double looked like he was dead, or one of those mannequins in a clothing store. No emotion, no color, no movement. He talked like he was dead, too. All soft and blank, maybe a little clipped around the edges.

Kakashi hadn't been in the best state to really get what he was looking at. His face was throbbing, he could swear the kid was bleeding all over the place because he could smell the blood from five feet away - he had never finished walking down the steps outside the station - and that guy was talking like he had just asked him the time. It took him a minute after he finished talking for him to realize he had just gotten an apology. And a promise of reparations. Like the kid had accidentally hit a baseball through his window. Unreal. Unique. And he was too out of it to care. He thought he might have made a comment about the guy being a nutjob, but he really wasn't sure. He had started to wonder if he was back in a padded room having a really bizarre daydream.

Then the kid took off and he ran really fast for a bloody little thing with a broken arm. That helped snap Kakashi back to the real world, but not before he wondered curiously if the mannequin would follow a trail of blood drops to find him and bring him back so he could apologize to him for breaking his window. Yeah, he had been a little out of it, but he came back in time to hear the guy invite him to join him for a cup of tea. At least, he thought the guy had really said that. Looking back, that might have been part of the lala land padded cell fantasy. He really wasn't sure. He remembered declining the invitation, though. And the guy had nodded to him and walked off.

All things considered, Kakashi didn't think it was his fault he ended up following Sasuke. He had just walked in the opposite direction from the one the nutjob had taken. It was only natural to walk away from scary and bizarre things. It wasn't his fault that happened to be the same direction the kid had taken. Picking him up when he found him and taking him back to the hotel with him? Yeah, that was his fault. But he blamed his curiosity for that. It had been a pretty bizarre day and he didn't think he wanted to go to the mannequin for answers. He didn't think he wanted to go anywhere near any mannequins for the rest of his life.

So, yeah, he'd had a good reason to take him home and patch him up. He couldn't very well get answers if he bled to death, right? Right. Then the ungrateful brat had refused to talk to him, so it was only fitting that he keep him prisoner in the hotel for a week, right? Right. Probably. It wasn't like Sasuke had actually tried to leave once he realized Kakashi wouldn't be throwing any more knives in his direction. He just glared, and Kakashi glared back from his place in front of the door, and then he went back to his corner to skulk and play another day of ignore the old guy. He was really good at that game. A little too good.

By the time the kid started talking to him, Kakashi was sort of used to having that sullen glare follow him around. It was like having a cat. A cat that didn't like him but planned to keep him around for food. Emergency rations. He had to sleep sometime.

Okay, so he had gotten a little paranoid, but it was sort of fun wondering when the kid would snap and go for his throat. It was entertaining. In a 'pet me and I'll bite your hand off' sort of way. A fun, psychotic cat. And as soon as he figured out how to rub his fur the wrong way, he would be a really fun cat. He owed him some grief, after all, for his eye.

As things turned out, he hadn't lost it like he had thought when he woke up in the jail cell. The cut had been deep, and he would always have a scar from his eyebrow to his chin, but the eyeball itself still worked. It worked way too well, as a matter of fact. Once he understood what Sasuke's talent was, he knew why they had both been knocked out when he touched him and looked into his red eyes. Their talents were very similar. Where he copied talents by touching people, Sasuke could copy just about anything, talent or simple body motions, by watching and activating his red eyes. Sharingan, he called them. A nice enough name. Unfortunately for Kakashi, that seemed to be one of those rare talents that he couldn't copy. Not successfully. Something had gone wrong when he had touched him. He had learned not to copy things by accident years ago, but his adrenaline during their encounter must have activated his talent by accident. His left eye was now just like Sasuke's, only he couldn't turn the damn thing off. Just having it open too long was exhausting.

That freaked the kid out something awful. It was rather rewarding, too, the way he had reacted to seeing it. Sasuke seemed to think he had given it to him, instead of his having copied it. It turned out the mannequin was Sasuke's brother, and he had the same eyes. One of the talents he had picked up with the sharingan was the ability to transfer his own talents onto non-mutants. He had used that to give the eyes to Sasuke, who he expected to use the gift to pick up skills just like he had so eventually he could repay him by killing him. To speed that along, he hired people to attack him ever so often. Hence Sasuke's counterattack in the alley. Real nice family he had there.

Kakashi was still pretty sure he had copied the sharingan. He hadn't picked up any other talents from the kid, and he would definitely have noticed if he suddenly had the ability to turn normal humans into mutants. That was one scary talent. There would be a global panic if word ever got out that there were at least two mutants running around with that ability.

Sasuke told him there was probably only one. His brother wasn't a nice passive collector like Kakashi was. He preferred to have one-of-a-kind talents in his collection. Selfish mannequin bastard. Of course, that meant if he ever found out Kakashi had copied at least part of the sharingan, he would have to hunt him down and kill him. The little brat smirked when he imparted that bit of happy news. As payback, he wiped the smirk off the brat's face by pointing out that meant he couldn't let Sasuke go because he was the only one who knew about his left eye. Yeah, it was really fun once he got the kid to talking. Certainly entertaining enough to excuse sticking in one place for nearly two weeks.

Eventually Kakashi got restless, the kid started getting antsy, and the brother started lurking around the neighborhood the way only nutjob mannequin bastards could do. Real creepy like. So Kakashi decided it was time to switch venues and Sasuke, since he didn't really have a choice in the matter, decided to tag along.

Rinse, recycle, repeat. Times two years. Divided by a long distance custody battle. Minus a victory. Plus an online invitation and one intriguing telephone conversation. Equals asylum in a country with no extradition treaties or passport verifications.

Yeah, the kid was a pain. A lot of trouble. And Kakashi had to admit he probably wasn't gaining as much as he was losing by keeping him around. But it was fun, and he had started to like the little brat. He wasn't promising to stick around, anyway, just to hang out for a while and see what the place was like. If his suspicions were right, there would be quite a few second generation mutants taking this Iruka guy up on his offer. That meant fresh blood and quite a few talents to copy before he got bored of the place. Sasuke had the same thing in mind, considering his life goal was to pick up enough tricks to defend himself so he would live long enough to repay his dear sweet nutjob brother for the thoughtful gift he had given him. Ah, but kids were so cute these days.

His happy thoughts were interrupted by a thin book slapping him upside the head. Kakashi turned a droll stare on his scowling companion.

"You're drooling," Sasuke muttered, purposely looking in the opposite direction. "At least if you're hiding behind that it won't be noticeable."

That, as he quickly noticed, was a piece of his prized porn collection. Kakashi rescued it from the tall grass with an affronted look on his face. He was half tempted to give Sasuke a lecture about mistreating precious classical novels. He probably would have, except he had managed to win without even trying. Sasuke had snapped and he hadn't even had to pick at him. Just a little wet spot on the corner of the mask he wore over his face and crack, there went Sasuke's broody little mask. Yeah, he was fun to have around.

"You're so thoughtful," Kakashi beamed, his right eye crinkling happily. He promptly opened the book right in front of his head and moaned. "Mm, this part is so good...!"

Sasuke picked up the pace until he was walking a few yards ahead, a dark 'I don't know this guy' glare plastered over his face. He made up his mind not to take the book back when they met up with the owner of the house they were heading towards. It would serve the pervert right to be seen as exactly what he was on the first meeting. He didn't care much about first impressions, but he knew Kakashi liked to sweet talk mutants before copying their talents. With that book hiding his face, the owner and his son wouldn't willingly go anywhere near him. Perverted bastard.

An exaggerated moan sounded from behind him. Sasuke twitched and put more distance between them. If Kakashi hadn't copied so many talents, which he swore he would share eventually, he would have killed him years ago. It couldn't be that hard. He just had to get him when his face was buried in one of those disgusting books. Unfortunately that meant he would have to get so close he might accidentally catch sight of the illustrations in the book. He had done that once and it really wasn't worth it. Perverted gay bastard.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

The wind picked up by the time the dim grey mountains began nibbling on the rim of the sun. It was the rolling hills that made dusk appear to come hours earlier than it should have. The landscape masked the fact that Lyberday was located in the bottom of a fishbowl, half circled by mountains so cold they looked further away than they were. No matter how warm a summer was by the time it came, late spring inevitably had more in common with early winter. Some blamed it on the shifting climate, but locals in Lyberday claimed it had always been that way. Their location trapped cold like it trapped heat and the only relief was that due to the surrounding fields the town was rarely prone to flooding.

Iruka had heard all of this in passing. The gossip had never really seemed important before now. He and Naruto had moved to the town just as the winter snow was melting. They hadn't witnessed anything more than the early nights and a few weeks of frost before spring set in with a vengeance. Now, with dark clouds crawling over each other and the sun doing its best to hide before the rain started, he realized he should have thought more about the weather.

He had wanted the newcomers to experience the open fields and to see for themselves how strangely quiet and isolated the town was. There was something unreal about the landscape, with all those fertile fields growing wild and untended. Any other country would have swallowed the acres up for farmland, if nothing else. He could walk a few miles from the house and suddenly be unable to see anything for miles except the hills and the mountain range in the distance. Even the roads were hidden in valleys. He had thought a long calm walk would be a much needed change from living in cramped hotels in bustling cities. He hadn't planned to have them rushing to avoid getting soaked.

He kept his worries to himself, not wanting to hear any more reminders about the car. Naruto was brimming with energy and had bounded off ahead of him so there was no need to hurry him along. If anything, Iruka was the one rushing to keep up with him.

Naruto had completely adapted to this place in a natural way that made Iruka faintly envious. Maybe Naruto had been born in the country and that was why he took the landscape for granted. Iruka had always wondered why Kyuubi was so uncomfortable with claustrophobic buildings and noisy streets, despite Naruto claiming that he felt perfectly at home in the same environment. As far as he could see, Kyuubi embodied everything Naruto repressed, which probably included his childhood memories. For Iruka, it was different.

He might not have remembered his childhood, but he had detailed records to tell him he had always lived in large cities. The sheer emptiness of the fields was terrifying. They might as well have added a roller coaster in their back yard. It was convenient, and he had spent nearly as much time exploring as Naruto had. But he still couldn't take it for granted because that thrill of unreasonable terror never stopped niggling in the back of his mind, just a thought away.

According to Naruto, Kyuubi thought his irrational fear of open spaces was amusing. Iruka readily agreed. He had half expected to pass out the first time he had purposely gotten himself lost in the fields. If it had been anyone else with a similar phobia, he would have known exactly how to tackle it. None of that worked for him, so he made the most of it like an avid skydiver with a fear of heights. And it came in handy in situations like this. By meeting the two travelers in the fields, he was putting them on equal grounds. From what little Kakashi had told him over the phone, the boy he was about to meet was instinctively paranoid and suspicious. That was exactly how Iruka felt with no walls in sight. The only difference was that he knew he had no reason to feel that way, while Sasuke had ample reason.

Naruto, who had already topped the hill ahead of him, turned suddenly and loped back. Iruka couldn't help but wince at the boy's stride. Naruto wasn't even looking at the ground to watch out for tangles and holes hidden by the grass. Kyuubi had an instinctive way of avoiding problems like that, supposedly. That didn't make it any easier to watch. Twisted ankles and broken bones were among the injuries Iruka couldn't heal on his own.

"They're early," Naruto huffed when he reached Iruka. "And the old guy's a pervert!"

Iruka gaped. "Naruto!"

"No, he is! Seriously!" Naruto nodded, his eyes wide. "He's walking with a book like this, can't see his face at all, and Kyuubi said he saw that same cover in the back of the rental place! The shelves across from the tanning bed room? You're the one who told me not to go back there 'cause that's all porn, right? So he's a total pervert! Kyuubi says he's dangerous, too. Smells bad or something. Wha...? Oh, right. Kyuubi says he smells strange, like there's something wrong with him. Besides being a pervert. Doesn't want me to go near him. He says you shouldn't, either. The kid's closer than the pervert. We can take him back with us and maybe the old guy will get lost or something."

Iruka sighed and rubbed a hand over his arm. He was getting goosebumps from standing still so long, and the chill wind wasn't helping. It was lucky that their guests had managed to make such good time. That was what he should be focusing on, not Naruto's exciting warnings.

"I'm sure there's nothing wrong with Kakashi-san," said Iruka. "As for what he's reading..."

"You're gonna make excuses for him," Naruto accused. "Kyuubi said you would."

Iruka sighed again. "I'm not making excuses. But you shouldn't have even been looking at the back shelf in that store, let alone...memorizing the covers! Do I need to ban you from renting movies on your own? You promised you'd stay away from the back."

Now Naruto was fidgeting nearly as much as him. His expression was a scowl that bordered on a resentful pout. "It's not my fault. I only look that way when I see someone walk back there. Kyuubi's the pervert who memorizes pictures of stuff like that. All I've gotta do is glance that way and he'll remember everything he saw. But, you know, that guy's gonna be a really bad influence on me if he's reading porn all the time. We should definitely go back without him. Kyuubi says the kid might not be a pervert, so we can probably take him. But we should stay away from the old guy."

"We're not leaving either of them," Iruka said firmly. "They've had a long flight and a long walk. The last thing they need is to get caught in the rain. If you're really that uncomfortable, you can go ahead home. But...I'll remind you that you did agree to this. It's too late to change your mind now, Naruto."

"I know," Naruto grumbled, glaring at his feet. "I'm not changing my mind, and it's not just that he's a pervert. Kyuubi really doesn't like that guy. I mean really doesn't like him. He makes him nervous...and that makes me nervous. And - and what do you mean I can go ahead home! I just told you the guy's a pervert - you think I'm gonna leave you out here alone with him? There's no way! Shut up, Kyuubi. I'm not afraid of some pervy old guy. Wha...? Ew! He is not! Shut up, I'm not listening to you..."

Iruka had learned a while back not to get too worried when Naruto started talking to Kyuubi aloud. He still found it difficult to keep from touching him and distracting him from the argument. Luckily it didn't happen nearly as often these days. After a long moment, Naruto shivered and made a disgusted face. Then he shot a resigned look at Iruka.

"Do you want to share?" Iruka asked, with a weak smile.

"Not really," Naruto scowled. "They'll be here in a few minutes. They were on a hill when I looked, seemed close with Kyuubi's eyes and all, but not that close. Let's just get them before it starts raining. That old pervert over there can't be any worse than the one in my head, anyway."

Iruka blinked and cleared his throat. "So it's that? You are a teenager, it's not so strange for Kyuubi to...well..."

"Don't say it," Naruto winced, grinning and moving an arm up to ward off the hesitant words that might follow as if they were a physical attack. "We had The Talk. Once was way more than enough. Besides, you're too twitchy to start blushing on top of it. That's like an open invitation for perverts."

That last bit was given with a knowing smirk. Iruka returned the expression with a playful scowl. He promptly put his hands into the pockets of his jacket to keep from rubbing his arms.

The wind whipped at their backs when they crested the hill. Iruka saw Naruto fidget beside him. Kyuubi generally disliked being upwind from anyone. As paranoid as he had made Naruto with that 'dangerous smelling pervert' spiel, being upwind probably put him in an even worse mood. Iruka was just glad Kyuubi seemed to be focusing his suspicions on Kakashi rather than Sasuke. The last thing he wanted was to have both boys being paranoid of each other.

Iruka's first impression of Hatake Kakashi wasn't a very good one. Because of the book. The moment Iruka called out a greeting, Kakashi snapped the book closed and dropped his arm. He might have given a bashful smile, but there wasn't any real embarrassment in his demeanor. He reminded Iruka of a kid who turned to face a wall when he felt like picking his nose in public. If he felt like doing it, he was going to do it, and he didn't particularly care if the 'wall' he turned to face happened to open into a restaurant full of strangers trying to eat. The comparison stuck in Iruka's mind, even as he wondered if he hadn't possibly been spending way too much time in the company of unruly teenage boys.

Kakashi's stance was careless and lax. Iruka couldn't tell if he was as amused as he seemed to be because most of his face was hidden from sight. He was wearing a dark blue mask from his neck to the bridge of his nose. The cloth stretched and conformed to his features, but it still hid more than it revealed. It didn't even have an opening for his mouth. He was wearing a cockeyed headband of the same material, with a thick plate on front that sloped down to cover his left eye. His right eye was crinkled in what looked like a smile.

Iruka smiled in return, despite his disapproval of the man's choice of reading material. He would overlook it for now. Later they were going to have a talk about what was and wasn't appropriate behavior to display in front of impressionable young boys. Really. Kakashi had seemed so polite and well-mannered over the phone. Then again, he had also sounded far too young to have a shock of wild silver-white hair. He could look forward to a lot of 'I told you so' from Naruto when they got home.

"I thought you'd be older," Kakashi greeted, with a sly, crinkled-eye smile.

Iruka just barely kept from stumbling. He ignored the quiet grumbles Naruto was giving behind him and gave a droll look at the messy hair hanging over Kakashi's headband. He smiled back with a pleasant, "And I thought you'd be younger."

That eye uncrinkled and blinked at him, and Iruka turned his smile on the boy standing a few yards to the side of Kakashi. "You must be Sasuke. I'm Iruka and this is Naruto."

He received a nod in response. He hadn't expected more than that. Kakashi had warned him that Sasuke wasn't much of a talker. Actually, the exact term he had used was 'antisocial wannabe psychopath liable to bite fingers off if poked or prodded to be more friendly.' Iruka translated that as 'difficult and withdrawn with a side of paranoia.' He and Kyuubi would probably get along quite well.

The first thing that struck him about Sasuke was his appearance. Small and pale. Loaded up like a pack horse while Kakashi carried nothing but That Book. It really made Iruka wonder if the man were purposely giving the worst first impression possible.

Sasuke was Naruto's height, but he had a hungry, hunted look about him. Like he had spent far too long making the most out of what little nourishment he could get and had just managed not to come out bony. He was even paler than Naruto had been when Iruka first met him. His dark clothing made his skin tone an almost deathly white, marking a sharp contrast with his dark hair and eyes. It didn't help that he was wearing a short sleeved shirt and shorts. Shorts! Iruka nearly went off on the very idea. The wind was biting through his own jacket and that blank-faced, pale, overburdened, and hungry-looking boy was wearing shorts.

Iruka gave a sharp shake of his head, sent a Look at Kakashi, and hurried over to remedy the situation as much as possible until they got back to the house. Naruto must have recognized his sudden mood shift, because he immediately volunteered to carry most of those bags. Iruka almost patted him on the head for being so helpful. Especially compared to some people.

Sasuke wasn't appreciative of the attention. But he was amused. Just a little. It was the way Kakashi looked when that man glared at him. Like he wanted to protest that he wasn't a selfish perverted old man, even though they both knew he was. And like he had just realized this Iruka might not be as easy to play with as he looked. As much as Sasuke preferred not to get involved in Kakashi's little games, he did get satisfaction out of seeing the man thwarted. Within minutes of the first meeting, too. That had to be some kind of record.

Although they had spent years traveling together, Sasuke had never quite figured out what Kakashi's type was. Not that he really wanted to know. It was just that Kakashi had this compulsive need to mess with people, and the presence of a target closer to his own age meant Sasuke didn't have to take the brunt of it. The man seemed indiscriminate most of the time. Anything that might make someone irritated or uncomfortable, and it came out of his mouth like there was some disconnect between the man's brain and tongue. It was bound to get him killed one of these days. That was another of the reasons Sasuke stuck around. He wanted to watch.

These two didn't look like they would be doing the honors. The kid was notably jumpy, as if he expected Kakashi to try something. Which, knowing him, he probably would. The man, on the other hand, looked determined to ignore Kakashi until he redeemed himself. Fat chance of that happening.

Sasuke let the two take the bags from him. They weren't his, anyway. And Naruto looked like the sort who would bang up whatever he carried. Maybe he would drop and lose the bag carrying the porn. Kakashi would die. It would be entertaining.

He kept a close hold on his own bag. Kakashi had taken to buying him things after a while. Probably some attempt to placate him so he wouldn't kill him in his sleep or run away and leave him without a pet to torment. Sasuke had taken to refusing or pawning anything that kept him from traveling light. There was nothing in the bag he wouldn't abandon or destroy if he had to leave empty-handed. Until then, the bag was his, and he didn't want anyone touching his things. Besides that, it was almost insulting that the man wanted to take even that small bag from him. As if he couldn't carry a thing on his own.

He had recognized the way Iruka looked at him. Like he was a stray in need of a hug. It set Sasuke's nerves on end. Kakashi had tried that once, in a fit of teasing. He had done his best to break his arms for it. In the end he had only managed to give him a dislocated shoulder, but it had gotten his point across. Kakashi had spent weeks making sly remarks after that, offering home therapy to help him get over his aversion to contact. He had still been careful not to hug him again. That was one of the few things Sasuke honestly appreciated about him. For all his talk and taunting, he knew when he had gone too far.

It turned out that keeping his bag was a small victory. Refusing the coat was a lot harder. His curt, 'I'm fine,' didn't seem to cut it. If anything, it made Iruka look all the more determined to wrap him up. As if he had never been caught in cold rain before. And the open concern on the man's face made it hard to snap and threaten him with rapid violence if he persisted. What the hell had Kakashi gotten him into? He had never said a word about the owner of the house being a mothering figure with doe eyes that made him grimace for even being tempted to lash out at him. He was used to dealing with killers and hired thugs. And Itachi. And bored multi-talented old perverts, like the one that was smirking at him once he had someone else's coat wrapped over his shoulders.

Sasuke was surprised to have the kid, who was suddenly striking him more as loud and bouncy, than wary and jumpy, do the protesting for him. He sent a sidelong glare at Kakashi, for looking so damned amused, and then watched the blonde hop after Iruka in a fit of...something energetic.

"Nah, Iruka-sensei," Naruto protested, hopping after him as they turned for the house. "He could have used mine! I've got a lot more on than you do. I'm faster, too, so I won't get wet if it starts before we get home. What if you get sick? It's cold and you don't like cold. It would be really bad if you got sick. I only know how to make lunch foods! If you get sick I'll starve to death, or burn the house down trying to make breakfast. And you just know that old pervert can't cook, or Sasuke there wouldn't be so scrawny. You gotta stay healthy, see? We'd both end up skin and bones and too weak to go to school, and wouldn't that be bad...!"

Scrawny? Sasuke's eyebrow twitched. He had been active for most of his life. He could take down men twice his size and had done so on a regular basis. He was lean, maybe, but nowhere near scrawny. And that jacket? He would gut himself and be caught dead before he would wear bright orange. It hurt his eyes just looking at it. The thing was practically a beacon, probably visible from miles away.

He couldn't argue with Kakashi's lack of cooking skills, though. The man knew how to make one thing besides tea and coffee, some weird mix of vegetables and meat that Sasuke swore was only edible after being doused in spices and sauce. Preferably hot sauces because the stuff was sweet. Sasuke had an iron stomach and it had still taken him weeks to learn to keep the stuff down. He had been tempted to ask where Kakashi had gotten the recipe so he could track down and mutilate the person responsible, but he had a horrible suspicion Kakashi was a self-taught chef. He had way too many reasons to kill the man to waste doing it over food. He could only kill him once, after all.

Kakashi looked a little put-out by the comments. Sasuke wondered which he took offense at, being called a bad cook or an old pervert. Both were perfectly accurate. That was probably the problem. It wasn't often someone recognized him for exactly what he was right away. Kakashi was obviously slipping in his old age. Good. Maybe that would teach him to hide the porn until he was alone.

Sasuke still hoped the kid would drop the bag with the books, though. And from the way he was bouncing around, he probably would. That was almost annoying, though. The bouncing. With those bags. Bags that weighed almost as much as Sasuke did and were filled with all sorts of things no self-proclaimed wanderer should be toting around with him. The blonde hadn't looked that strong. And inhuman strength was one of those talents he couldn't copy with the sharingan. Sasuke was already strong for his size. He knew he was. But Itachi had never sent anyone with that particular talent after him because speed could only go so far against brute strength. One slip and he would die.

"Oi, oi," Kakashi murmured, slinking alongside him. "What's with that look?"

A heavy hand dropped on Sasuke's shoulder, and he sent a warning glare up at the man. Kakashi pretended not to see it.

"They're not the enemy," Kakashi smiled. "Don't go being all frigid and suspicious now. You'll never make friends that way."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed and he reached for that hand. Kakashi danced away, very casually considering he had almost had most of his fingers broken. He kept smiling, too, one that bordered on a knowing smirk. Sasuke stalked faster after the jabbering blonde. Ignoring Kakashi was the best way to spite him. Friends. As if he wanted to make friends. All he wanted was a room of his own and a fresh supply of skills to copy. If he had to stay in the middle of nowhere to get that, so be it. One look at the hills told him this was as good a place as any. Itachi never had liked the country. Not enough dead ends to corner him in.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Kakashi liked to think of himself as an open minded man. He got around, saw a lot, and didn't let much get to him and change the way he was. He was used to people looking at him funny. He had gotten it in grade school because of his complexion and pale blue eyes, which really begged the question of what exactly his mother had been doing when she had left the country to visit old friends a few times a year. By middle school, his eyes had darkened to an indistinguishable color and he had gotten the looks because he had shot up nearly two feet and was suddenly taller and skinnier than anyone else.

Eventually he caught on and gave them reasons to look that had nothing to do with appearances or rumors about his family. Looking back, his pranks had been pretty tame. He had never done anything that was irreparable. Hair grew back, desks were fairly cheap and really did look better decorated with perverted scribbles of the sensei and his favorite students, and, honestly, if the class president had just stopped taking such big strides, his ass wouldn't have wiggled so much when he walked. Maybe he shouldn't have said that with quite so many witnesses, but the advice had been intended to be helpful. He had gotten really good at attracting attention only when he wanted to, and it was something he liked.

These days it was a lot easier, though. Because of the brat. Not that he wanted to give Sasuke too much credit. The kid was to blame for the need to keep his left eye covered, yeah, but Kakashi had thought of the mask all on his own. Made him dashing. He had that on good authority. Mysterious, too. And there was something oh, so, tempting about having to peel down the mask to get at his mouth. A pretty blonde in an airport in Russia had told him that, before kissing his lips with a smile and giving him the ability to create an energy shield by whistling a high pitched note. It was a shame the blonde had disappeared a moment later.

Kakashi had stalked that one for weeks, and he still didn't know how many talents the guy had. Sasuke had gotten something out of the encounter, too. The kid had used the sharingan to pick up the blonde's ability to move like he was dancing on air. But as far as Kakashi was concerned, that teasing compliment and fleeting kiss had been more rewarding than any whistling energy barrier. Dragging a moody kid around with him really did a number on his sex life.

Porn was an obvious fall-back. If Sasuke ever developed a libido, he might understand, if not appreciate, the sacrifices Kakashi made for him. Just the fact that a kiss on the lips from a total stranger - albeit a pretty, mysterious, and playful stranger - was a sexual highlight of the last few years, really said something. Sasuke scared people off, even grown adults. Prided himself in it, too, the smug brat.

Kakashi had brought someone back to the hotel with him just once. A perfectly innocent event. She had been way too short and old for him, for one thing. He wasn't even thirty yet. He had been watching some kids beat up a gang of would-be thugs, trying to decide if they were mutants - and therefore stalk-worthy - or just another pair of punks keeping their streets clean. She had shown up beside him and offered to teach him a few tricks about telling mutants from nonmutants. In exchange, she wanted some tea and the use of his shower. Kakashi loved encounters like that. He could recognize a fellow traveler instantly, but the friendly ones were few and far between. They were rare and not to be taken for granted. He should have known Sasuke would do his best to screw it up.

That brat had more glares than anyone Kakashi had met. And he had met a lot of people. Psychopaths included. What was funny was that Sasuke fancied himself blunt and unimaginative. He didn't seem to realize that not all of his glares were the same. Sasuke's favorites in his arsenal were the forthright 'I loathe you' glare and the infamous 'you're touching me, again, you will beg for a clean death by the time I finish with you' glare. But somewhere along the way of being travel companions, the kid had developed a territorial 'you're entering my space' glare, accompanied by a 'prepare to suffer the consequences' sneer.

Normally, Kakashi didn't mind being greeted with that combo expression of violence the second he stepped through the door. It was Sasuke's equivalent of bristling his fur and sticking his tail in the air. Cute. A psychotic display of affection. Unfortunately, Sasuke's threatening glower of doom had a tendency to scare off one night stands before he even got them in the doorway. It was no wonder he had become a porn addict.

Porn was truly a wonderful thing. He had never had to sweet talk porn, didn't have to talk at all. He could open the tempting cover and sink right in to the good stuff any time he wanted. No foreplay, no awkward 'by the way, I'm leaving the country this afternoon, so if you're up to another go, now's the time,' no need to scope out a target since his favorite series was available all over the world. And once Sasuke got over his thing about living with an open porn addict who touched him when he least expected it, the porn was a great diversion. Any time he opened a book, he got a twitch out of the brat.

Any time. Every time. Which was a little sad. The brat was practically sixteen. It was embarrassing. Sasuke really needed to get that stick out of his ass or he would never get laid. If he hadn't seen Sasuke sport a wide-eyed blush when that blonde in the airport had leaned down to kiss his cheek, Kakashi might actually have believed he was as asexual as he claimed to be. The kid was so uptight Kakashi could count on him to disappear the second he opened one of his books. That was good. That meant as long as the book was open they could both pretend the other didn't exist. A much needed break that kept the amusement fresh and entertaining when he went back to tormenting the kid.

Kakashi knew he had plenty of reasons to be the way he was. He liked attracting attention so long as he was in control of why people were staring at him. He liked his porn, too. He didn't mind letting other people know that he liked porn, and that he was amused to be seen liking his porn. Especially when it was a sweet mothering school-teacher type with a too-tight tail of thick dark hair he couldn't wait to loosen up. What he didn't like was that the soft-spoken, infinitely teasable man he had talked to over the phone appeared far more prudish and unflappable in person. Iruka was almost as good at ignoring him as Sasuke was. He had never seen that coming.

Iruka really was younger than he had expected. Over the phone he had seemed reserved but friendly, easy-going, with a healthy sense of humor. Kakashi had made a few comments, playful ones at most since he hadn't known what the guy looked like yet, and he had gotten a soft laugh in response. That was encouragement, right? Soft throaty laughs were reserved for the bedroom, after all. He was sure he had made at least one innuendo about the rooming arrangements, and no one had called him a pervert then. Well, the brat had, but he didn't count. Sasuke was Sasuke.

It was almost like Iruka had taken one look at his porn and decided to ignore him until - until...? Until they were alone? The disapproving look Iruka had given him, almost disappointed and resentful, hadn't been that encouraging. Until he apologized? For what? He was a healthy adult and it wasn't like Sasuke hadn't learned real quick to ignore him when the porn came out. Kakashi was starting to think there was a problem here, and he had an idea it was that blonde kid's fault. The chubby looking one with the big mouth, who had somehow managed to make Sasuke feel threatened without even looking at him.

Kakashi had noticed the kid earlier, standing on a hill half a mile away and watching them as if he could see more than just their outlines against the gray-blue clouds. He must have some good eyes to go with that strength of his. Kakashi had just considered staring back over the top of his porn when the kid had turned tail and disappeared. Reporting back to Iruka? Urging him to hurry up? Warning him to stay away from the old pervert? Probably. The kid didn't seem to realize he wasn't the adult in the relationship. Calling him a pervert. Really. Kakashi had half a mind to sic Sasuke on him. It was a lot easier to convince Sasuke to take out the potential threat than it was to try calming him down. Naruto should have been thanking him. A threatened Sasuke was a thousand times more dangerous than a happily paranoid Sasuke.

No, he would definitely have to get Iruka away from that nosy kid if he were going to have some fun before he left. Correction. The nosy paranoid kid, who was shooting increasingly suspicious glances the closer Kakashi got to walking beside Iruka. Aww. Was the kid feeling protective? How cute. And futile. Sasuke could attest that Kakashi never let bratty little kids keep him from having fun. They just made it more of a challenge. He liked challenges. They kept things entertaining.

Kakashi shot a smirk at the scowling Naruto, and eased closer until his sleeve brushed Iruka's arm as they walked. Iruka jerked his arm away and sent him a startled look. Kakashi blinked back at him. Jumpy much? He was used to that from Sasuke, but now Naruto and Iruka, too? Was it him?

"Maa," Kakashi drawled with a lazy smile. "I'm not going to bite."

Iruka gave a soft snort that wasn't quite a laugh. "I didn't think you would."

A bold faced lie. Kakashi could tell from the way Iruka didn't quite look him in the eye when he said it. Wow. Maybe it was him. Iruka looked as nervous and uncomfortable as Sasuke had when he had cornered the bloody kid in his hotel room for the first time and ordered him to strip. The difference being that Iruka didn't have a knife. That he knew of. And Iruka looked more liable to bolt than to attack. At least the guy was trying to play it off with a weak smile. He just needed to learn to lie better.

"Cute kid you have there," Kakashi lied, beaming down at Naruto. "Reminds me of a dog I had once. Loud, bouncy, didn't take to strangers much. It's a shame we had to eat him. Never had to clean between my own toes with him around. Luckily Sasuke's real handy with a knife, me being such a bad cook and all. It's messy work, skinning loud annoying dogs."

Iruka stumbled. Looked horrified. Kakashi's lazy smile widened. Not so nervous and jumpy now. Nope. Iruka looked like he was caught somewhere between outrage and disbelief. Naruto was much quicker to react. The kid growled at him, showing some rather sharp incisors. And was it the lack of light or were the kid's eyes a little red?

Kakashi gave a smug nod of approval. "Growls just like him, too. Wouldn't even have to skin him."

"Ka - Kakashi-san!"

Ah, he'd recovered enough to speak. Kakashi took that as his cue. He propped a wrist on Iruka's shoulder and patted him like they were old friends.

"Just breaking the ice," Kakashi smiled. "I thought Sasuke would be the only one all twitchy and suspicious here. The way your kid's been shooting glares at me, you'd think I was some pervert trying to make a move on his old man. Or, in your case, make that young man."

Naruto clenched his teeth so tightly his jaw started to ache. It just got worse when Iruka reacted to the man with just a hint of reproach. That was the voice Iruka used when Naruto spoke without thinking, but hadn't done anything really bad. The pervert definitely deserved a harder voice than that one. And he was still touching him! Right in front of him. He was just begging to have his ass kicked. If Iruka wasn't gonna do it, Naruto sure as hell would.

'Do it and he wins,' Kyuubi muttered in his head. 'He's trying to provoke you. Iruka's being as polite as possible. If you ruin that by shooting your mouth off or attacking, that'll make you look as bad as the pervert.'

'But he's touching him!' Naruto wailed, in his head, since his teeth were still tightly clenched. 'Right in front of me! And Iruka-sensei's letting him! I can't just watch that. And he called me a dog. Right...? I think he did. Whatever that meant, it was insulting and he's still touching him! You said that was bad, right? Letting him touch us?'

'It's not the same,' said Kyuubi. 'There's something wrong, but that's just a touch. He's not doing anything with it.'

'Something,' Naruto repeated. 'You mean like a talent? Like he'd suck your energy out or something? A mutant vampire! He sure looks it, with that creepy mask. Everyone knows vampires are perverts. We gotta get rid of him.'

'Agreed. But not in front of Iruka. Just wait a while. He'll be glad you held in your temper. He's always going on about that.'

Naruto left off growling at the pervert and jerked his head away. Iruka was apologizing for something, as if Naruto was somehow to blame for the guy insulting him and being way too friendly. He would never understand how that happened. It just did. Especially with teachers. They would set him off and then whine to Iruka as if he were the one who had started it. Just because he was a kid didn't mean he was always the wrong one. He didn't get that polite side Iruka had. There was no reason to be polite to assholes, even if they were adults.

'That's like a double standard,' Naruto griped. 'I don't care if Iruka's proud of me or not. I shouldn't have to keep quiet when the pervert's the one who started it. We definitely gotta watch him tonight. If he goes anywhere near Iruka's room, I'm gonna kill him. You'll help, too, right?'

'Of course. Iruka is mine as much as he's yours.'

Naruto smirked at that, almost forgetting that he had been fuming a few seconds ago. And Iruka thought he had a problem sharing. He shared everything with Kyuubi.

'You don't think he'd really try that,' Naruto wondered a moment later, 'do you? I mean, even perverts have to have morals, right? And Iruka's not that wimpy. I bet he'd punch him out if he tried anything. He's cool when he's mad.'

'Depends on his talent,' Kyuubi said, with a fox equivalent of a shrug. 'I'll keep an eye on him. I don't need as much sleep as you. The other one's more dangerous, anyway.'

That got a startled blink and a scrunched up frown from Naruto. 'You think?'

'I wanna bite him.'

Naruto snorted, and did his best to keep the snicker in his head. 'Idiot. He's even skinnier than me. Got a girl's face, too. We'd probably break him in a fight.'

Kyuubi sighed. It was a long suffering sound that came from being stuck in constant contact with someone he considered intellectually inferior. 'Remember that 'don't judge a book by its cover' lecture I gave you when you picked a fight with that ugly kid? The one who busted your nose with the first hit because you wanted to take him without me?'

'Lucky hit!' Naruto spat. 'I still got him, didn't I? I don't need you to take on guys like that.'

'You got him because he was bulky and you were faster,' Kyuubi lectured. He was tired of making this point over and over. Why didn't Naruto have a perfect memory like he did? It was annoying that he couldn't even cuff him upside the head to make him pay attention. Iruka had no idea how lucky he was. 'The one behind us isn't bulky. He's dangerous. You think I'd want to bite him if I didn't think he was strong?'

'Well, you do get that mood sometimes,' Naruto smirked. 'You wanted to bite that shopgirl at the rental place, and there's no way that was about fighting. You're a total pervert and you know it.'

'It was the smell,' Kyuubi growled, bristling and defensive. 'That wasn't my fault. I told you how hormones work with females. It's a monthly instinct. That has nothing to do with this.'

'Sure, sure,' Naruto drawled. 'Whatever you say.'

'Fucking brat. That pervert calling you a dog is an insult to canines.'

'So he did call me a dog!' Naruto jolted. 'I knew it! That asshole pervert! I'm so gonna get him the second Iruka's not looking...'

Kyuubi growled in annoyance and turned his head, as if he were looking over his shoulder. Naruto mimicked the motions without thinking about it. He caught a suspicious glare head on before it narrowed and flicked away.

'What the hell?' Naruto scowled, staring hard at Sasuke. 'Why was he looking at me like that? I didn't do anything.'

'He wants me to bite him,' Kyuubi said, as if it were obvious.

Naruto couldn't help it. He snorted again, the grin making it to his face this time. 'Shut up, Kyuubi. Seriously.'

'It won't be easy, either,' Kyuubi continued, as if Naruto hadn't said a word. 'I can tell. He smells of blood. It's old, but it's there. Beating him will be a challenge for you. He'll be fast. Confident, too, glaring at us like that. Mm. Definitely gonna bite him.'

'You're just horny,' Naruto scoffed.

'Hm. Your type, too?'

'How the hell should I know? I'm not a pervert like you,' Naruto scowled. He sent another look at the silent kid behind him and caught another fleeting glare. He promptly glowered and turned back around. 'I don't think so. He looks like a real jerk. Glaring at me like that. I'll give him a reason to glare if he keeps that up. We're not even to the house yet and he's already trying to get on my bad side. Must be a moron. I could kick his scrawny ass, easy.'

Kyuubi was the one to snort, this time. 'He'd kill you in a heartbeat if I let him. It's not that kind of look. Not like those idiots you go to school with. He's looking through you. Trying to. To see me.'

'Don't get full of yourself,' muttered Naruto. 'No one can see you, even if they knew about you. And he doesn't. There's no way Iruka would have told them. He'd have to be a mindreader or something.'

Naruto promptly stumbled. 'Oh. Oh, shit, you think he's a mindreader? They're supposed to hear thoughts and stuff. Like everything we say would be just like saying it out loud! That's a - a...a total invasion of privacy, that's what! I'm definitely gonna kick his ass now. Hell, maybe I'll let you bite him while I'm at it.'

'I'll bite him eventually, regardless,' Kyuubi shrugged. 'But he's not a telepath. I'd know if we met one of those.'

'Really?' Naruto asked in surprise. 'How would you know?'

'The same way I know he's strong. And that the pervert can be dangerous if he touches us the wrong way. I'd know.'

Naruto scoffed. 'Like there's a right way for a pervert to touch someone. But, you know, your talents are weird, Kyuubi. We really gotta figure out what your powers are. There's no way you can get all that just from smelling people. Rain, maybe, if you smell the clouds coming. But not talents. I don't think mutants smell different from normal people. And there's no way different talents have different smells. That's just dumb.'

'Smell, sense, instinct,' Kyuubi shrugged. 'It's all the same when I'm using your body. The point is, I know. We're almost to the house. Let's attack him before the rain starts.'

'What?' Naruto choked. 'I'm not going to attack him if he's not reading my mind. Even if he is glaring like a jerk. Iruka would kill me if I just went and attacked him for no reason.'

'Iruka is currently distracted by the pervert,' Kyuubi pointed out.

Naruto couldn't help but notice that Kyuubi was right. He glowered at the two men. Whatever they had been talking about, there was no way it was amusing enough for Iruka to have his blush-smile on. That faintly blushing smile he got when he was amused, and embarrassed for being so amused. It was one of Naruto's favorites. That old pervert shouldn't ever get to see that smile.

'And he knows you planned to 'wrestle' with the mutants who came here,' Kyuubi continued. 'Iruka might not approve of the timing, but he won't kill you. Let's go. We'll keep the bags as a handicap. Just watch, we won't even be able to hit him on the first try. He's been waiting for it, sizing us up. Have to wear him down first. And be careful, too. I think he has a weapon on him. He's holding that bag with the wrong hand...'

Naruto tore his glare away from Kakashi and closed his eyes, so he could scowl at his fox properly. 'Down boy. You're getting silly, now. A jerk like that, he's bound to insult me eventually. Then we'll kick his ass. Right now we're just gonna play nice and get him to his new room. If I have to hold my temper and not go off on the pervert, you have to ignore the kid, too. No biting guests, Kyuubi. You know that's what Iruka-sensei would say.'

'Fine,' Kyuubi growled. 'You can go off on the pervert after I bite the kid.'

'You're so cute when you get all stubborn and frustrated,' Naruto teased. 'Be a good fox, now, and the first time the jerk insults me, I'll let you bite him as hard as you want. Deal?'

'No.'

'Tough,' said Naruto. 'That's the best you're getting. You keep forgetting the only way you can bite anyone is with my mouth. I'm not about to go doing stuff like that. Only perverts bite people.'

Kyuubi glared and huffed moodily. 'Foxes bite people, too.'

'Only foxes like you, Kyuubi. And that's only because you're a pervert on top of being a fox. Just take a nap or something. I bet he insults me before you know it.'

'As if I could sleep with that glare following us around,' Kyuubi muttered, 'and that pervert drooling over Iruka.'

Naruto shot a sharp look to the side and promptly went back to clenching his teeth. 'Damnit! The old pervert's got his whole arm around him now! That's it, I'm so gonna kill him!'

Kyuubi nodded in approval. 'Deal. You kill the pervert and I'll bite the kid. We can apologize to Iruka afterward.'

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Iruka ushered them inside with a relieved smile on his face. They had made it to the house just before the wind took those fat sprinkles and blew them into a diagonal torrent. He could already hear it sloshing against the door as it settled in for a heavy night of rain. That definitely wasn't the sort of storm a person wanted to walk through. There was a reason the countryside was so lush this time of the year.

Sasuke handed him his coat when he turned from the door. Iruka accepted it and waved them a few feet down the hall. "Closet," he gestured. "Kakashi-san, you can leave your coat here if you like."

Kakashi sighed and gave him a slow look that he was careful not to react to. He had already explained the need for formality on the way home. If he didn't address Kakashi politely, there was no chance of Naruto doing so.

Iruka taught by example. As far as he could see, that was the only way to get around Naruto's stubborn confrontational streak. The boy had a shocking disrespect for his elders, particularly authority figures. The best Iruka had managed was to teach him to think it, rather than speak it, and wait till he got home to vent. He feared the day Naruto snapped and started a physical confrontation with one of his teachers the way he did with his fellow students.

"Naruto," Iruka turned. "Would you take those bags upstairs, please? You can show them their rooms, and then I'd like you to help me in the kitchen for a minute." Naruto's mouth opened, but he didn't give him a chance to protest. "Kakashi-san, you and Sasuke can wait in the livingroom when you're finished. It's right through there. Excuse me."

He disappeared into the kitchen, a little high strung, but rather proud of himself at the same time. He had wanted to hover, to grab some towels and make sure the boys dried their hair properly because even that light sprinkle was enough to make their bangs stick to their temples. But Sasuke hadn't looked him in the eye when he had given the coat back. He had been staring down the hall, looking tense enough to snap. Naruto was used to being fussed over. Iruka doubted Sasuke would appreciate it as much. At least he hadn't taken the coat off until they were inside.

He had just started a pot of coffee when a thump sounded upstairs. He heard muffled voices overhead, and then more thumps coming down the stairs. Iruka recognized the heavy gait and winced. It was always harder to lecture Naruto after the fact.

"You won't believe it," Naruto huffed, pushing into the kitchen and glowering at the entire room.

"I might," Iruka sighed. "What happened?"

"That kid dismissed me," Naruto blurted, sounding outraged, exasperated. "Like I was a servant or something, just because I carried their stuff. And he asked me my last name and then used it on me!"

Iruka blinked at the last bit. Naruto's last name was Uzumaki, one of those little things he must have remembered on his own. He knew the hospital had used it to search for relatives, but no one with that name had claimed to know the boy. He didn't know why Naruto would be so upset at having Sasuke use his last name, there was nothing wrong with it. The teachers at his school addressed everyone by their last names. Some of the students did as well.

"What's wrong with that?" asked Iruka. "You have a fine last name."

"Not the way he said it," Naruto scowled. "He was all cool like, 'Thank you, you can go now, Uzumaki.' Like he was pretending to be polite or something, only he said it like it was an insult. I swear, if he had called me san, I would have wiped that look right off his face. And you know what he said when I asked what his last name was?"

Naruto paused, all excited and indignant. Iruka blinked. "What?"

"He said he didn't have one anymore!" Naruto said quickly. "What kind of crap is that? You either have one or you don't, right? And that pervert just laughed like it was a joke, only it wasn't a joke - he was definitely insulting me." Naruto took a deep breath and froze, giving him a sober look. "I don't like either of them."

Iruka sighed. He had intended to talk to Naruto about the looks he had caught the boy sending Kakashi during their walk. There had been one point where he was sure Naruto would burst or lash out. He had been clenching his fists and glowering so much his eyes had tinged red in the fading light. Iruka had been ready to catch him if he tried anything physical, but he hadn't wanted to say anything that might embarrass him in front of the others. He hadn't expected Naruto to turn against Sasuke as well. All on the basis of two comments? Even Naruto didn't judge people that quickly, not anymore.

"Sit down," said Iruka. He waved at the stools across the counter from him, watching as Naruto glowered a little and dragged his feet. "Do you remember the first time you went to school? Before you left you had something bad to say about everyone you thought you would meet. You had already set yourself up to hate everyone."

"And I was right," Naruto grumbled. "They were all younger than me, so they treated me like I was a retard."

"And when you started here you expected the same thing," Iruka reminded him. "Only they weren't as bad as you thought they'd be, were they?"

"Some of them," muttered Naruto, quieter now.

"It took you two weeks to make friends," said Iruka. "You had made up your mind against them in advance, keeping even the nice ones at a distance. If you started a new school now, would you make the same mistake again?" Naruto shot him a look, and Iruka smiled. "Okay, you probably would. But it wouldn't take you more than a few hours to realize what you were doing. That's my point. You know better than to make snap judgements based on one bad experience."

"I get what you're saying," Naruto sighed, "but it's not the same. I wasn't expecting him to be a jerk. I thought I'd get along fine, better even, since the kids moving in would all be mutants like me. I was all set to be friends, really."

Iruka nodded, "I know. But Sasuke is how you were. Kakashi-san doesn't think he's been around kids his age in a long time, so he'll try to keep his distance like you did. Remember that. He's probably as uncomfortable and wary as you were. Worse, even," and he flashed a playful smile, "with Kakashi-san as his only role model."

Naruto snorted at that, cracking a grin. "Good point."

"Just try to be patient with him," said Iruka. "If the problem lasts, I'll talk to him."

"You'll talk to him, anyway," Naruto smirked, "that's what you do. I bet you could even talk old pinched-face into liking mutants, if you wanted."

"Well, I don't know about that," winced Iruka. "It sounds too manipulative when you put it that way."

"Yeah!" Naruto nodded quickly. "That's the word Kyuubi uses - manipulating. Only you do it soft so it's like a person's doing stuff because he wants to, and not because you asked him to. You just sort of ooze into their heads, squirm around a little, and then ooze back out so quiet they don't even notice till they quit doing the stuff you wanted them to quit doing. Even that Sven guy's afraid of being sent to see you."

Iruka knew Naruto thought what he was saying was complimentary. And he had learned that trying to correct him wouldn't help. He did his best to not to wince at the imagery.

"I'll talk to Sasuke if I have to," said Iruka. "If the worst he's doing is addressing you with sarcastic politeness, it's not very bad. You deal with worse from some of your classmates, right? The ones that end with you being sent to see me?"

"Yeah," sighed Naruto. "It's just, it's almost worse than an actual insult because I can't clobber him for it. Plus I have to live with him. A fight's better - right up front and then it's over. Kyuubi thinks so, too. Of course, he wants to fight right now, for me to start it like a wrestling match or something. But I know better than to do that," he flashed a quick look at Iruka. "I'll wait till he starts it, honest. And we're both mutants, so it's still like experimenting more than just fighting. I was planning on that, anyway."

Iruka gave a slow nod. He really didn't want them fighting at all. But he knew how boys were. It was healthier if they settled things quickly, especially when they were going to be living together. He just had to make sure they did it in a controlled environment.

"Why don't you bring that up with him after you get home tomorrow," said Iruka. "I'll be taking them both around town and getting Sasuke enrolled for next semester - you remember how long that takes. Kakashi-san said Sasuke was very interested in expanding his talents. That's something you have in common."

Naruto perked up, "Really? You know what talents he has?"

"No, but I'm sure if you're willing to show some of yours, he'd do the same. We can make a day of it this weekend. I'll pack a lunch and you two can 'wrestle' in the fields as much as you want. Get some of that frustration out. You don't have to get along to be friends, you know."

"How do you figure?" asked Naruto, more curious than doubtful.

"Agree to disagree," Iruka smiled. "Rivalries can be healthy, too. Especially if both parties are confrontational and motivated."

"That's me," laughed Naruto. "Kyuubi's spouting out weird new things all the time. He had this dream about multiplying the other night - being in two places at once - weirdest thing ever. He comes up with stuff like that a lot, but you know I can't actually do it myself. Sometimes, if I pretend I'm fighting one of the jerks at school I think I could eventually, but usually it's like it's there but not close enough to grab."

"There you go," said Iruka. "I'm sure if you find something you and Sasuke have in common, it'll be easier to get along with him."

Naruto was quiet for a long while, his head tilted to the side, his smile fading away. Then the smile flashed back twice as strong and he laughed, pointing a finger at Iruka.

"You did it again!" Naruto accused, grinning at him. "See? Just talked me into putting up with him, only now I want to 'cause Kyuubi says he's strong and it's like it was my idea to start with. You're definitely good for a counselor. I still think you'd make a great teacher, but counseling is better for talking people into stuff, or away from stuff. You're like one of those wizard guys whispering advice to the king and standing back so he decides things like it was his own idea."

"You have a very active imagination," said Iruka. "Do you feel better about Sasuke now?"

"Yeah."

"Good," smiled Iruka. "Now let's talk about the way you were growling at Kakashi-san on the way home."

.-.

Sasuke had taken stock of his room - an empty bookshelf, a bed with fresh sheets and blankets folded in the corner, a desk with a lamp, a small walk-in closet, and no lock on the door. He set his bag on the desk and turned to glare at the man sitting on his bed.

"Get out," said Sasuke. "You have your own room."

"I wanted to talk a little," smiled Kakashi. "You're going about this all wrong and it's my job to steer you in the right direction. You should respect the advice of your elders, you know. We've been around a lot longer than you have."

"Get out."

"The way you handled Naruto, for instance," Kakashi continued merrily. "What brought that on? Just because you don't want to make friends doesn't mean you should actively make enemies of someone you'll be sharing a house with. You wouldn't want to upset Iruka, now would you? I'm sure he has taken a liking to you."

"It's none of your business what I do," Sasuke said coldly. "This is my room now. I don't want you in it. Get out."

"See?" Kakashi sighed, "That's the attitude I'm talking about. You're so blunt it borders on rudeness. You should really try to be more polite to people who are only going out of their way to help you." Sasuke stared blankly, and he laughed. "Well, maybe not to me, but to Iruka and Naruto. Break them in slowly before you pull out the glares of doom. A few blank stares to start with, cold short responses, then add in some veiled threats of bodily harm, and then you can glare and act on the threats so they know you're serious. Don't forget, not everyone is as used to dealing with psychopaths as we are. You'll be going to school, too, and you can't go killing or mutilating your classmates just because they brush your arm in the hallways. That sort of thing is frowned upon in polite circles."

Sasuke couldn't believe Kakashi was giving him advice on how to deal with people. More than that, he couldn't believe the man was sitting on his bed. The one thing he had really been looking forward to in this place, his own room, and Kakashi ruined it the moment they arrived.

Sasuke glared and spoke softly, "Don't make me get blood on the mattress. Iruka won't appreciate it."

"Ouch," Kakashi winced. His mask didn't reveal whether it was a playful wince or a real one, but he did get off the bed. He walked over to lean in the open doorway instead. "Really, now. That's exactly what I mean. I don't think you'd want to hurt either of them, but with your reactions, you're liable to slip up. Leave your knife under your pillow and try not to break any bones if one of them touches you."

Sasuke glared in silence.

"Right," Kakashi nodded. "I think that's all the advice for now. Just a little warning and I'll let you have your territory all to yourself. You can't hide in here. All right? Come down and eat with them, don't make me come up here and drag you out like a stubborn pup. And keep in mind that if you threaten Iruka in front of me, I'll have to take you out back and give you a nice thrashing."

Sasuke snorted at the crinkled smile that accompanied that threat. "You're welcome to try. Any time."

"Ah! That's what I like about you," Kakashi beamed. "Always so eager. I'll see you downstairs."

Sasuke shut the door behind him, pausing long enough to run a finger along the seam. There was enough room in the frame to slip a knife in and form a temporary lock. He hoped it wouldn't be necessary. Iruka would probably talk to him if he defaced his property right away. The thought made him grimace.

He flipped the mattress over to remove the imagined taint Kakashi had left, and sat down in the chair by the desk. He had to plan. It had been a long time since he had been around people. Kakashi didn't count. Kakashi thrived on annoying him. Most people, strangers, wouldn't. He wasn't sure about the blonde, Uzumaki Naruto, but he knew Iruka's type. The last time he had been around someone like that was grade school. He hadn't liked it then any more than he did now, but he had been able to handle it.

He had been too smart for his age, quiet, and polite to a fault. It was the way he had been raised, to speak when spoken to, to excel without need for praise, to be seen but not noticed. He had had trouble with the last part because teachers had a tendency to single him out and students had a tendency to resent that. Silence and painful politeness had worked to keep both problems to a minimum. He had thought he could adopt that again to handle being around people again. It turned out to be much harder than he had expected.

He hadn't meant to be sarcastic with the blonde. He had thought addressing him formally would be enough to put the boy off, make him realize from the start that Sasuke had no intention of being friends with him. But it hadn't come out that way.

He was still suspicious of him, that strength, the instinct he had that strength was the least of Naruto's talents. It was the same wariness he had experienced the first time he realized Kakashi had more talents than him. He had spent months waiting for Itachi to bribe or threaten the man into attacking him, unable to believe he was dragging him along just for the fun of it. Everyone had a price. Keeping company with someone stronger than him was suicidal. He had learned that lesson very early.

But Naruto was different and he knew that. There was no precedence. Itachi didn't want him dead; he wanted him terrified, hateful, and strong. And he had never used someone his own age. Even if he stayed here for a long time, it should be at least five years before Naruto was a potential threat. He knew that.

It was still hard, harder than it should have been. He prided himself in his control and slipping that sarcastic emphasis on the boy's name was...embarrassing. That wasn't acceptable. Instead of making the boy ignore him, he had riled him to the point where he would probably pay more attention to him. It was the same as how his quick refusal of the coat had only encouraged Iruka to hover even more. He would just have to try harder.

Kakashi would do his best to screw it up. Sasuke was sure of it. The man lived to torment him, and he would probably laugh and pick at him if he suddenly reverted to that restrained politeness he had lived as a child. But he was used to Kakashi. He could ignore him. It wasn't easy, but he thought he had gotten good at ignoring him. He would manage. He would just have to try harder.

And not look at Naruto. If he couldn't not glare, he wouldn't look at all. He had an idea that might backfire on him, the way using his last name had. But it was worth a shot. He would keep his ears open, figure out the blonde's temperament, and find the best way to work around it.

Kakashi liked to tease him about his lack of social skills. Sasuke knew better. He had them, he just hadn't bothered to use them in the last nine years.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

It was still raining when Naruto fell off his bed. Kyuubi liked to wake him up five minutes before his alarm went off. He did this by stretching out on his belly and then rolling over. Since Naruto was asleep, he automatically mimicked him. Naruto wished Kyuubi would do that while he was awake sometime, because it had to be a hilarious sight. He had never actually asked him to, though. Chances were good he would end up rolling over himself and that would be a lot more embarrassing awake.

He hit the floor with a muffled thump, legs tangled up in his blanket, and his arms still wrapped around his pillow. He grumbled and squirmed on the hard floor. He really wished he would remember to ask Iruka about getting a rug to put by his bed. These morning rolls were killer on his shoulders. He was always amazed at the lack of bruises when he woke up enough to stumble his way to the bathroom.

'You suck,' Naruto grumbled.

'Morning to you, too, sunshine,' Kyuubi rumbled back at him. He was still lying on his side, paws curled at the tips and tails splayed lazily behind him, mirrored in Naruto's boneless slump. He might as well have been purring in satisfaction at Naruto's lame greeting. Except he wasn't because foxes didn't purr.

'Sure they don't,' Naruto snorted, having heard that thought as cleanly as Kyuubi could hear his own. He yawned and did a squirmy stretch that brought him to his knees and no higher. 'I hate mornings so much. Why did you have to wake me so early, anyway? I don't have to be there till ten. It's not even-' He turned toward his clock and glimpsed the window. 'Ah! Kyuubi, you ass! It's still dark out! What's wrong with you, waking me this early? I told you school's out - I'm only going in for placement and that's not till ten!'

'Do you have a point?' asked Kyuubi.

'Yeah, I got a point,' Naruto scoffed. 'You're an ass. Now tell me why. Quick before I go back to sleep.'

'Iruka got up an hour ago,' said Kyuubi. He didn't give Naruto a chance to complain that Iruka always got up early on week days. 'Someone else went down not long after that. Can you guess who, or are you too sleepy to care?'

Naruto stiffened and turned itchy but alert blue eyes on the door. 'The pervert.'

'Good guess, I can't get anything past you,' Kyuubi drawled. 'Do you want to chaperone, or go back to sleep?'

'Don't be snarky,' snapped Naruto. 'It's too early to make me think, you know. And Iruka-sensei is a thousand times worse than me.'

He yawned again as he climbed to his feet, swayed a little, and then ducked back down to toss his blanket and pillow on the bed. Kyuubi liked to nap randomly during the day, so he was always awake and hyper in the mornings. Naruto felt like a numb woozy lump of meat and having a hyper fox in his head was like being poked with a sharp fork. Or something like that. He really hated trying to think first thing in the morning.

'How long have they been down there?' asked Naruto, as he scrounged up some clothes for the day. He tripped over a shoe and almost missed Kyuubi's response.

'A while,' Kyuubi shrugged. 'Not long enough to worry.'

Naruto stumbled out of his closet, jangling hangers from where he had jammed his hand out to keep him from going head-first over that stupid shoe. He could have sworn he had started putting his shoes on the shelf after the last time he had tripped over them. Obviously he hadn't.

'So do I have time for a shower, or what?' Naruto scowled. His eyes itched something awful. He curled a fist and rubbed at one for a second before Kyuubi growled in his ear. He promptly dropped the hand.

'You have to stop doing that,' Kyuubi said sharply. 'Every time you do, you scrub out eyelashes and it hurts.'

'Sorry,' Naruto winced. 'Really, I don't mean to. It's a habit.'

'A bad habit. Use those drops and take your shower. There's time enough for that. Iruka hasn't even made coffee yet.'

Naruto gave a dumb nod. He hated putting anything in his eyes, but the drops kept him from scratching. Kyuubi didn't just share his mind. Any irritation Naruto felt was twice as strong for Kyuubi. That itchy-eyed scrubbing was just one of those habits Naruto couldn't break on his own. It felt nice to him, rubbing till he teared up and the itch went away, but Kyuubi absolutely hated it. Naruto thought it was because Kyuubi didn't 'tear' the way he did. Just a weird mutant fox thing.

He stumbled again when he left his room, trying to shut the door behind him midstride and failing. He hadn't cleaned his room in...about three months, so he kept the door shut as much as possible. Iruka probably guessed what was behind that conspicuously closed door, but he had never asked. Naruto stopped, turned, and forced himself to stand up straight and steady enough to close the door. Then he turned to find someone watching him from the next doorway over.

"Hey," Naruto blinked.

Sasuke looked like he had slept in his clothes, which, Naruto guessed, he probably had. That little bag of his hadn't been big enough for a jacket, let alone pajamas and extra clothes. He was leaning in his own doorway, arms folded, black eyes narrow but not very sharp. It was his hair that caught Naruto's eye the most. It was mussy and fluffy and standing out all over the place.

'You see that?' Kyuubi smirked in his head. 'That's what he would look like after a night of sex. Minus the scowl. And the clothes, of course.'

'Oh, shut up,' Naruto snorted. 'Is there any time of the day when you're not a pervert?'

'No.'

Naruto grinned and started toward the bathroom again. It was all the way down the hall, but he thought he would make it without bumping into the wall. He nodded at Sasuke when he passed him.

"You're too noisy," said Sasuke.

The comment was given in a quiet tone laced with vague resentment. Naruto frowned and turned to really look at him. "What's that mean? Did I wake you up or something?"

'Of course you did,' said Kyuubi. 'Bumbling around bumping into things. He probably woke up the second you fell off the bed. He's a twitchy one.'

'Oh. Well, there you go. You'll have to stop waking me up that way.'

Kyuubi just shrugged, 'I like waking you up that way. He'll get used to it.'

"Sorry if I woke you up," Naruto said out loud. "I hate mornings."

Sasuke stared at him for a moment with a sleepy glare, then he shrugged, dropped his eyes, muttered something, and went back into his room. Naruto frowned at the door and resisted the urge to rub at his itchy eyes.

'What did he say?' he asked Kyuubi. 'Something rude, right?'

'No,' Kyuubi sighed, as if disappointed. 'He said it's fine. He looks as out of it as Iruka does first thing.' He sighed again, tails and ears slumping. 'Why is everyone so dead in the morning? You don't hunt at night, you don't do anything but sleep. You should be eager to wake up and get moving.'

'Like you're one to talk,' Naruto sniffed, once more dragging his way down the hall. 'You nap all the time. Try staying awake all day - I bet you'll be as grumpy in the morning as I am.'

Kyuubi snorted in his head, but Naruto noticed that he made no offer to take him up on that dare.

.-.

If Naruto was a numb piece of meat in the mornings, Iruka was a zombie. Dizzy, half blind, and completely incapable of quick thought. He was also slightly dangerous to himself, since he could very well drown if he attempted to shower immediately after waking up. He knew why. It was written on the side of the bottle, 'Do not operate heavy machinery.' In his case that meant he had to wait at least an hour before going near the coffee pot or the microwave. Which was a shame, since caffeine would have helped clear his brain.

Despite his living dead state, he automatically woke up at four every morning. That usually gave him enough time to sleepwalk his way to the kitchen and sit until his eyes focused, and then make coffee and sit for another hour or two before it was time to make breakfast. He liked to use the time to go over any lectures or plans he had for the upcoming week. While he wasn't capable of quick thought, his memory was as clear as ever. He did his best thinking sitting at the kitchen table with his chin propped on his wrists while the luminescent clock over the stove rolled the minutes away.

He was staring at the green numbers designating minutes, twenty-five, when the kitchen light flicked on over head. The five rolled over to the six before he blinked and glanced over to see who had done it. He made out blurry gray-white hair, dark right below, and dark clothes. He lifted his head and gave a vague smile.

"Hello," he murmured. A moment passed and he remembered his manners. "Good morning."

"Good morning," Kakashi said back, beaming happily. "Do you always sit in the dark?"

"Yes," Iruka smiled. Always. Because if he turned on the light he would end up staring at the coffee pot and he didn't need the temptation. "And you? You're up early."

"I always wake up early," said Kakashi. He gave a slow look from Iruka to the light switch. "Want me to turn this back off?"

There was something about the quick eager way he asked that made little bells ring in Iruka's head. He suspected it was important, but the bells sounded like they were all the way on the other side of the house, so he ignored them. He waved a heavy hand in Kakashi's direction and went back to watching the clock.

"That's all right," Iruka drawled. His tongue was awkward in his mouth. He really wanted some-

Iruka blinked and glanced back at the blurry figure standing in the kitchen doorway. "Say," he smiled, "would you mind starting a pot of coffee? I'd really appreciate it..."

"Sure," said Kakashi. He flashed another close-eyed smile and went around the counter. He didn't bother to ask where the grounds and filters were, simply opening cabinets until he found them on his own.

Once he had flicked the switch on the pot, he turned around and leaned against the counter. Iruka had dropped his chin back onto his wrists, once again staring blankly at the digital clock. Kakashi watched him with a slow smile.

He had wondered, when he had first pushed open the swinging door and noticed how large the numbers on the clock were. It was the sort of thing an old person would have, five inches tall with thick bold green numbers on a black background. Kakashi could see perfectly in the dark, another of those useful little talents he had picked up. He suspected Sasuke could, too, but only if he used his sharingan. The first thing he had noticed when he looked into the dark room was how fixedly Iruka was watching that clock. It wasn't until he turned on the light that he understood why.

Sasuke had the same problem waking up. He would snap awake in an instant, sharingan blazing, weapon drawn, body all tense and alert. But the moment he realized there was no threat, he would sort of melt into a daze that lasted a good hour or more. Kakashi had noticed it was worse when Sasuke had used his talents the day before. The kid had used those eyes of his constantly their first few days together, and when he had finally dozed off and woken back up, he had been drugged and dazed. Dead on his feet, Kakashi called it, though he knew Sasuke could snap himself out of it in a heartbeat if he was threatened. Iruka looked like that now. Worse, even, with his glazed eyes dilated far too wide for the bright room.

"You look like you should be in bed," Kakashi murmured. As he had expected, a moment passed before Iruka glanced in his direction. Those pretty brown eyes didn't focus a bit. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," Iruka said, with a wincing smile. "It just takes me a while to really wake up. That's why I get up so early. Plenty of time..."

"Hm."

Kakashi caught himself staring at Iruka's hair again. He wondered if it was against his code to scope out a man dead on his feet. Did he even have a code? No...no codes came to mind. He smiled and let his visible eye enjoy itself. Iruka had pulled his hair back in a loose tail that left thick strands falling around his face. He was wearing an overly large blue button up shirt with sleeves that fell to his knuckles and probably to his fingertips when he stood up. What Kakashi liked best was how tousled and relaxed he looked with that sleepy smile of his.

Unfortunately, those shiny dilated eyes ruined the image. Kakashi sighed and turned away. There were a few black mugs hanging off hooks just below the cabinet. He plucked two and filled them.

"How do you take it?" he asked over his shoulder.

"Black now," said Iruka. "Usually with cream and sugar, there's creamer in the refrigerator if you want some, but always black in the morning."

"A man after my own heart," Kakashi smiled.

He brought the cups over and watched Iruka wrap his hands around his mug. The table was round with four chairs, smaller than the one in the dining room. Kakashi drug one of the chairs over so he could sit closer to him. Iruka flashed him another of those weak, wincing smiles.

"I'm sorry I'm not good company in the morning," said Iruka.

"No need to be," Kakashi shrugged. "It's your home and I'm more of a freeloader than a guest. The least I can do is make coffee for the two of us. I can't offer to cook, after all."

He flashed a hopeful look at Iruka and was disappointed when the man didn't react to that barb. He sighed and sipped at his own mug. Maybe he didn't have a code, but it seemed he did have some sort of moral roadblock. Just thinking about making a friendly flirtatious gesture made him rebound off that unexpected block. Stupid block.

It wasn't like he had planned to really take advantage of the guy. As dazed as Iruka looked, he could probably get in some major league groping before he even noticed. All he had wanted to do was tuck one of those dangling strands of hair behind his ear. That wasn't even sexual in itself. It was more friendly than anything. Hardly even counted as flirtatious when he got right down to it. Heck, he would have done the same thing for a sleepy Sasuke if he didn't know the kid would snap awake and break his hand for it. Nothing sexual at all.

Iruka blinked when fingers brushed over his temple, tucking a bit of his hair behind his ear. He turned to find Kakashi giving him one of his crinkle-eyed smiles. He smiled back, thinking that if he had been awake he probably would have blushed in embarrassment.

"I come downstairs as soon as I wake up," Iruka explained. "Mornings are the only time I'm this messy, really."

"It's not messy at all," said Kakashi. "Don't worry about it."

That wasn't what he had wanted to say, but once again that block sprang up to keep any sly perverted comments at bay. And it glared at him, as much as a mental road block could glare. Kakashi sighed again. In retrospect that little hair tucking thing was a tad suggestive. Intimate, even. He decided he would never try something like that with Sasuke, threat of a mutilated hand or not. Just the thought of it made him feel slimy. Pervert, and gladly, pedophile, no thank you.

"So," Kakashi started, "what are the plans for today?"

"Not much this early," Iruka said slowly. "School lets out in April here, then placement tests this week to determine who advances to the next level. They don't have automatic graduation for the classes. Anyone who doesn't test up stays in the same class another semester. That's convenient for us. No matter which level Sasuke tests into, he's bound to be in a class with students his own age. The youngest boy in Naruto's class is ten, the oldest seventeen. They have mandatory attendance for children under eighteen, but it doesn't matter what level they make it to before they leave. Just as long as they're being taught something."

He paused for a moment, taking another drink and savoring the caffeine. "Naruto has his tests today, at ten. I thought I'd get Sasuke enrolled first and then take the two of you around town. Hopefully the rain will stop by then. I don't have enough umbrellas and I'd rather not take the car."

Kakashi nodded and watched him drain his mug. He stood and waved a hand at it. "More?"

"Please," Iruka smiled.

Kakashi leaned over to take the mug and froze seconds before a figure came bursting through the swinging door. He probably could have moved out of the incriminating position before the boy caught sight of him, but where was the fun in that?

"Stop right there, you!" Naruto roared, the second he saw how close Kakashi's face had to be to Iruka's. "Back away from Iruka-sensei. Slowly, if you know what's good for you!"

Kakashi snickered silently, grinning at Iruka's dazed expression. He straightened up, mug in hand, and slowly backed away. Then he turned to grin at the outraged boy standing just inside the door. Iruka reacted a moment later.

"Naruto!" Iruka gasped. "What's gotten into you?"

Naruto didn't look at him. He was still pointing at Kakashi. Now he waved his hand to the side, motioning the man to put more distance between himself and the poor muddled Iruka. "Go on," he muttered, "move it."

Kakashi laughed out loud this time, but again, he did as he was told. "I wasn't doing anything naughty. What a perverted imagination you have. I approve of that in a boy your age, you know. Maybe you can teach Sasuke a few things while you're at it."

Naruto didn't even try to make sense of that. Despite his anger at having caught the pervert red handed, he was still a little too sleepy to think clearly. He sent a quick check to Kyuubi.

'He's still got the mask on,' he thought. 'Is that better or worse?'

'Better,' Kyuubi admitted. 'He'd have more trouble using his tongue with the mask on.'

'Good,' Naruto sniffed. Then he realized what Kyuubi had said and went red in the face. 'Oh! Not good! You pervert, making me think about that pervert's tongue and Iruka-sensei all blurry and defenseless - you want me to just out and kill him or what?'

'Kill him if necessary,' Kyuubi shrugged, 'but not over this. Iruka's still dressed. It doesn't look like he had a chance to do much molesting. You made good time. Fastest shower, yet.'

'Well, yeah, I was fast, I was in a hurry to-' Naruto caught himself. 'Threaten pervert now, chat with fox later.'

He straightened up and thrust his pointing hand at Kakashi again. "You. You stay away from Iruka-sensei! I don't care how big a pervert you are, or how vulnerable and cute he looks in the morning, you will not molest him on my watch. You got that? And if I find out you tried anything while I was gone, I'll personally - um..."

'Rip his cock off and shove it up his ass,' said Kyuubi.

Naruto choked and grimaced, 'Ew, Kyuubi! I can't say that! Iruka-sensei is right there! He's out of it, but he's still there!'

'Castrate him,' Kyuubi sighed, wishing Naruto weren't so shy about using bad language in front of Iruka.

"I'll personally castrate you!" Naruto blurted, taking up where he'd left off. "With a spoon," he added, "yeah. 'Cause it'll hurt more!"

Kyuubi snickered in his head, 'Nice ad lib there.'

'Thanks,' Naruto smirked mentally.

Iruka choked on a gasp and stared at Naruto in shock. His face had gone very pale except for a pink blush spread out across the bridge of his nose. Kakashi found his eyes latching onto a dark scar there. It was faded with age and followed the contours of Iruka's face from the beginning of one cheek to the other. Despite his amusement at Naruto's tirade, he had a sudden urge to follow that scar with the tip of his tongue. That road block agreed with him, but hopped into place to remind him now wasn't the time.

"Naruto..." Iruka choked out, in a small voice that sounded almost like a whimper.

Naruto winced, but stood his ground. "I know you're angry and disappointed, Iruka-sensei, but you'll thank me later."

'Or ground you,' said Kyuubi. 'Either way, it was still worth it.'

'Yeah,' Naruto agreed. 'Definitely worth it.'

Kakashi grinned and refilled the cups he was still carrying. He set Iruka's down in front of him and clapped a light hand on the shocked man's shoulder.

"That's a good kid you have there," said Kakashi, beaming as Iruka gaped up at him in disbelief.

"Hey," Naruto jumped, "Don't you touch him!"

"A little possessive," Kakashi allowed, still beaming happily, "but a good kid. I like him."

"Oh," Iruka said in that small voice. He couldn't think of anything else to say so he said it again. Then he dropped his eyes and started sipping on his second cup of coffee.

Whatever Kakashi and Naruto did after that, Iruka didn't know. He fazed them out and thought of nothing but that hot caffeine and how nice it had been sitting quietly in his dark little kitchen.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Sasuke had planned to stay in his room until someone called him out. He had hoped to go back to sleep for a few hours. The curtained window so close to his bed had kept him awake most of the night. He liked that it faced the patch of forest separating the yard from the fields, but the rain never stopped, a steady drone that made it impossible to hear anything else. Eventually he had dozed off because the bed was nice and he had the room to himself and he wanted to enjoy that for however long it lasted.

He was sure it hadn't lasted very long before the noises woke him up. He had been dreaming, the sharingan cycling him through images it shouldn't have been able to record, trying to show him things he had been forced to forget. It did that sometimes, wasting his energy on things he still wouldn't be able to remember when he woke up. Things he didn't particularly want to remember. When he woke naturally he was left feeling disturbed and drained, dazed, sometimes sick to his stomach. And so frustrated with himself.

Kakashi had teased him about it once, just once, a few weeks after they met. Sasuke didn't remember exactly what Kakashi had said, only that the comment had left him so furious he had wanted to scream. He had punched him instead. It was a blind blow, no thought or powers behind it, but it had connected where none of his other attacks had. He had knocked the headband off, tearing open the long cut that had barely started to close, and left Kakashi staring at him with his own wild red eye exposed. Kakashi had been the first to look away.

Sasuke hadn't needed to say anything. Kakashi didn't know. Kakashi couldn't even control one of the eyes, and he had been born a mutant. Sasuke knew what the problem was and there was nothing he could do about it. Itachi had given him a mutant talent, but he hadn't given him a mutant body. That had to be the difference. Most mutants came into their powers at puberty, when their bodies were better able to handle the stress, but they had possessed those talents all along, lying dormant since birth.

Sasuke didn't know what the genetic differences were, but he knew there were no sibling mutants. Maybe if both parents had been mutants, or if the siblings were identical or polar twins, then maybe they would share the same genetic mutations. None had ever been found as far as he knew.

Itachi had explained it to him once, an off-handed comment about his own 'experimentation' during one of those strange visits where he didn't do anything but look at him. Sasuke didn't know what Itachi saw when he looked at him with the sharingan. Sometimes he would get a vague frown, just standing there with the black curls in his eyes widening, thickening, and he would still be standing there long after Sasuke escaped, as if he hadn't even noticed. Sometimes he would come closer, corner him, and give one of those quiet casual comments as if everything he did was for Sasuke's sake and he didn't understand why his little brother wasn't more appreciative.

Itachi had given him an adult talent four months after his sixth birthday and it had nearly killed him. He had lost two years of his life to a hospital bed, his eyes bound while his body worked stubbornly to reject them, as if his own eyes had become parasitic tumors. He remembered that lost time in a hazy way, moments where the doctors would leave Itachi to do whatever he could to help, no idea that he was the cause of the problem. The bandages would come off and he wouldn't have time to see anything but Itachi's eyes, sharingan blazing, and then it would all start over again.

Reinforcement, Itachi had explained during one of those disturbing visits years later. Their shared blood wasn't enough. He had needed to reinforce the talent before Sasuke's body would accept it as his own.

Eventually he had adapted enough to turn the sharingan off, with enough energy to understand what was going on around him, to protest the way the adults were treating Itachi as some kind of hero for helping him through it all, and to realize none of them would ever believe what had happened. He had adapted, recovered, and then he had run. He had never stopped running.

He had learned to turn the sharingan off, to keep it off, and reactivate it at will. He had learned to use it instinctively, constantly if necessary, and to cut through that dazed aftermath without even feeling exhaustion or pain. No matter how drained he was, he could and would react in an instant. And he was still improving. He had fought hard to control his talent and the only time he ever lost control was while he slept. Kakashi had no right to say anything to him about lack of control. Kakashi still thought they had both been knocked unconscious because they had lost control and instinctively tried to copy each other at the same time.

Sasuke hadn't lost control at all. The only thing Sasuke had tried to copy was that crushing move Kakashi had used on his arm. And he had copied that, perfectly. If one of Itachi's hirelings hadn't chosen that moment to attack, Kakashi would have been found alone in that alley, his throat crushed by a perfect replica of one of his own copied talents. Sasuke would have explained that to him if he hadn't been ashamed that his own distraction had landed him in a hospital with Itachi giving him another of those vaguely disappointed lectures.

When Sasuke woke up that morning he came close to losing control. He was ripped out of a disturbing blank sharingan-cycled dream by the sound of something trying to tear its way through the wall right next to his head. He panicked and for a moment he could actually see it. Then the sharingan spun and he realized he was looking at an energy signal, faint and clumsy and not the least bit threatening. Just a noisy mutant stumbling around in the room next to his. He had gone to the door to see who it was, though he had already guessed it was Naruto. Kakashi was silent in the mornings and Iruka hadn't struck him as the noisy inconsiderate type.

Once his suspicions were confirmed he had gone back to his bed, moved it a good foot away from that wall - he would ask before rearranging the room since it was Iruka's house - and then he had curled up under the covers with the intention of hibernating untill Kakashi came up and made good on his threat to drag him out like a stubborn pup. He was out immediately, slipping into a boneless dreamless sleep.

And then came the shouting from downstairs.

Sasuke's first thought was to stalk down there and beat the hell out of someone. Preferably Naruto, but Kakashi would serve as a substitute if necessary. Maybe the people who had built the house with such thin walls.

He grabbed his bag and stalked to the bathroom instead. He kept two changes of clothes rolled up in the bottom of the bag, simple, space conservative, and no fold lines. It wasn't that he cared, personally, just that dressing in wrinkled clothes attracted more attention than he liked.

He made sure the door was locked, turned on the shower and threw up as quietly as possible. That got rid of the sick disturbed feeling of having had his head filled with sharingan-cycled images while he slept. Normally he didn't bother since Kakashi's idea of breakfast was a pot of coffee, the last few cups laced with whatever calorie-laden flavoring they had at the moment. If breakfast here was anything like the 'snack' Iruka had offered them last night, Sasuke had every intention of eating it. He had choked down far too much of Kakashi's slop to start wasting actual food.

He made it downstairs before that lethargy started slipping over him again. He shoved it away viciously. This was unknown territory, he needed to be alert in order to notice things that might be important. And he was still angry, frustrated. If he didn't pay attention he would say the wrong thing and regret it later. It was a good pep talk and it might have worked if he had been on the streets of a strange city filled with dark alleys and potential ambushes. It fell flat the moment he entered the living room.

Common room, Sasuke remembered. Iruka had called it the common room before he had corrected himself. The room was too big, mostly empty space, with a long couch, two soft love seats to either side with cabinet stands and matching lamps, a low table in front of the couch, and a mostly empty entertainment center taking up the corner. Two windows looked out onto the front yard, curtains drawn back to show that the rain was finally starting to lessen. It cast a gray tint over the room. Textbooks were spread out across the long table, one lying on its face half under the couch. Naruto was sleeping, curled on the corner of the couch with another book ready to slip off his lap if he shifted just a little.

One look at the blonde and Sasuke gave up trying to maintain his 'sense of imminent danger'. It was too homey, too...normal. He glowered resentfully at the happily napping Naruto and went over to look at the textbooks.

School. He hadn't fully considered that. To say he was behind was a joke. His mother had started teaching him as soon as he had started talking. He had learned more before he went to school than he had in the few short years he had attended. Since then...

He picked up the math text and flipped through the back to the practice section. Nothing but the equations was remotely familiar. Dread and disgust took hold at the thought of how far behind he was. He knew how to handle being too smart. He couldn't even imagine being dumber than everyone around him. There was no way.

He took the book with him to the kitchen where, just as he had expected, Kakashi and Iruka were sitting over coffee. Kakashi looked over in surprise.

"You're up early," said Kakashi. "And you're lucid!" His eyes narrowed suspiciously, "How did that happen...?"

Sasuke ignored him and went over to sit across from Iruka. He nodded, "We need to talk."

"Good morning," Iruka said back, glancing from the book to Sasuke. "I was just about to start breakfast. If you want to move to the counter, we can talk while I work."

"I'll help," Sasuke offered. He firmly ignored the startled suspicious look Kakashi sent him. Iruka just smiled and led the way.

"Do you know how to cook?" asked Iruka.

"Some," Sasuke frowned. He had never done it himself, but he remembered watching his mother cook. He was sure with the proper equipment and ingredients he could reproduce anything he had seen her make. His memory had been good even before the sharingan let him mimic things. "I'm a fast learner," he shrugged and put the book on the counter with the tall stools that stood across from the kitchen set.

"That's what I want to talk about," said Sasuke. "School is mandatory here?"

"Yes," Iruka nodded. He started to rummage in the refrigerator and paused to glance back, "Anything you don't like in an omelet?"

Sasuke almost said syrup before he remembered Kakashi wasn't the one cooking. He shook his head, "I'm not a picky eater." And he wasn't. It didn't matter if he liked it or not. If he could keep it down for more than ten minutes, he would eat it. Iruka smiled, looking pleased with the response. Sasuke forced himself not to grimace or give any sign of how hard this was. Being sociable. What a joke.

"I was planning to get you enrolled today," Iruka said as he worked. "Naruto has his placement tests in a few hours." His eyebrow twitched. "He'll be studying until it's time to leave."

Kakashi laughed from the table, and Sasuke suspected the last minute studying was a punishment of some sort. He wondered how Iruka would react if he knew the blonde was napping lazily in the other room. Sasuke wouldn't say a word about it. As smug as Kakashi looked, he had probably been more to blame for the yelling earlier than Naruto. That was just like him.

"Will I be tested immediately?" Sasuke asked Iruka. "How long before I'm expected to start attending?"

"You'll be starting next semester," said Iruka. "The third of August. We'll have to request an individual placement test for you, any time before the end of July." He turned a reassuring look on Sasuke. "You don't have to worry about being behind. The classes are scaled so all the children can attend the same school."

Sasuke sent a dark look at the book he had placed on the counter. Iruka followed his gaze.

"Stir this for me, would you?" Iruka asked, waving at the skillet. It was a risky move if Sasuke proved as dangerous around appliances as Naruto had. He did it anyway. He turned his back and flipped through the text Sasuke had brought in. He wasn't surprised by what he saw. No wonder Sasuke sounded so worried.

"This is an advanced text," Iruka said, glancing over his shoulder. "Naruto won't test into this level for a few more semesters. I'm a counselor at the school, and I help with some of the peer tutoring, so I have access to all the primers. I can lend you the first series if you'd like to get a head start this summer."

A head start on catching up, Sasuke thought. He nodded and stepped back so Iruka could take his place. Kakashi was still watching him from across the way. Sasuke ignored him. As long as Kakashi kept his mouth shut, he could watch as much as he wanted.

"This is about ready," said Iruka. He turned the stove off and nodded toward the door. "Would you mind waking Naruto up for me? Just roll him off the couch and he'll get right up."

Sasuke blinked. So Iruka had known. Kakashi obviously hadn't, from the way he lost that pleased smile and gave a considering look from Iruka to the door. Sasuke couldn't think of a good excuse to refuse that request, so he took the math text back to the livingroom.

Naruto was sleeping on his side now, one cheek smooshed against the back of his hand, drool collecting at the corner of his open mouth. The book had slipped from his lap and lay splayed on the floor. Sasuke stopped four feet away and grimaced.

Roll him off the couch? Who did things like that?

He set the textbook back on the table, exactly where he had found it, and went a few steps closer. "Hey," he muttered. "Wake up." The blonde didn't so much as twitch. He glowered and took one more step. "Naruto."

Naruto's nose scrunched up. That was all.

Sasuke was debating on actually touching the idiot or taking Iruka's advice and tipping him out of the couch when he felt someone watching him. He turned a sharp glare on the doorway, expecting to find a smirking Kakashi lounging there to enjoy the show. Nothing. He immediately forgot about waking Naruto and focused on the room itself.

His eyes dilated. That was what it felt like when he activated the sharingan, as if he had gone from a blindingly white room into absolute darkness, except the results were the opposite. Everything was sharper, too vivid for such an empty room. There was nothing to focus on. He could see dust in the air, fat earthworms squirming in the drizzled grass outside the double windows, the raindrops. His eyes wanted to focus on the raindrops in particular because they were moving faster than anything else in sight. He tore his gaze away and focused on Naruto. His was the only energy in the room.

It was orange and hazy and loose, not so much weak as uncontrolled. Sasuke recognized it immediately as the same thing he had seen through the wall in his room. He couldn't see very far through barriers - Kakashi's signature was much more vivid and familiar, but he couldn't catch a glimpse of where he sat in the kitchen. Sasuke sharpened his focus more, checking to see if Naruto was faking sleep. Watching through his eyelashes? He wasn't. But there was something about that hazy energy that bothered him. The loose shape almost looked like it was intentional.

Naruto's eyes flicked open and Sasuke tensed. The irises were as dark red as his own. That wasn't the problem. It was that lucid stare when Naruto hadn't so much as shifted a muscle. If his eyes hadn't been open, Sasuke would have sworn he was still asleep. Then the blonde gave a slow grin and lifted his head. Sasuke had a sudden urge to back up, so he did. He had never been one to ignore his instincts.

"Iruka said to tell you breakfast is ready," Sasuke said, his tone as bland as he could make it.

He closed his eyes firmly and when he opened them again the sharingan was gone. He was ready to activate it again if necessary, but he didn't think he would have to. Naruto's reaction wasn't any worse than his own when he was woken up by a stranger coming too close to him. At least Naruto hadn't attacked the second he saw him.

Naruto blinked suddenly, his eyes fading to blue and that strange grin disappearing. He stared at Sasuke as if seeing him for the first time, let out a sleepy 'muh' sound, and fell onto the floor.

So much for not rolling him off the couch. Sasuke barely kept from snorting. He went back into the kitchen, tired, still sort of annoyed, but satisfied that he had more than filled his 'interaction quota' for the day.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

"What does he think he'll find?" asked Iruka.

He was sitting on the cement steps outside the school's main office. It had taken less time to get Sasuke enrolled than he had expected, namely because the boy didn't have any information for them to put on file. At least, none he was willing to share.

The only hitch had come before they actually entered the building. Kakashi had offered use of his last name, in a sly tone that made Sasuke flash him a sharp black glare. While the board understood that some mutants might not have full details to give for their records, they did require a full name. Proof of identification wasn't necessary. It was more a matter of them having something to call the students since all of the professors defaulted to last names. Iruka was quick to remember Naruto's complaint last night and would have offered the use of his own name as an alternative if he hadn't suspected Sasuke would glare at him as well.

In the end, Sasuke had given a name of his own, Uchiha. Iruka was sure it was his real name because Kakashi had looked startled, then sober, and he hadn't said a single teasing word about it. Iruka hadn't said anything, either.

It wasn't until they started back out of the building that Sasuke looked up. Other than answering questions in the office, he hadn't spoken since breakfast. So when he suddenly said he wanted to explore the town on his own, and that he would be back before dark, Iruka let him go with a nod, just saying to give anyone his name if he happened to get lost. It was a small town as far as the population went, but there were nearly as many derelict lots as there were inhabited ones.

Iruka had sat down on the steps and watched the boy walk off down the sidewalk. He was giving him space and freedom, something Naruto had demanded so often in the beginning that he took it for granted now. It was a good town. He would be fine. And this way if he ended up looking around the popular streets first, he would have a head start. The last thing Iruka wanted was for them to show up right behind him, as if they were stalking him.

But still, there was something about the way he had asked that was different from Naruto's eager 'let me explore' pleas. It wasn't just that he had wanted to be left alone.

Iruka glanced to the side, to where Kakashi was leaning casually against the thin black rail, "Does he think he'll find something by himself that he wouldn't if he went with us?"

"Oh, sure," Kakashi smiled. "He won't stop until he has noted every potential hiding spot in the place. By the time he's done, he'll have memorized the streets, buildings, shadows, cracks in the sidewalks, stray animals, you name it."

He caught Iruka's doubtful and concerned expression. His smile widened until his visible eye curved shut. "Hope you weren't planning anything for tomorrow. He'll be so wired by the time he gets back that he'll be up half the night and then crash till noon."

Iruka's eyes widened, "Maybe I shouldn't have-"

"Ah, don't worry," Kakashi waved, pushing away from the rail, "he's Sasuke. He said he would be back before dark and he will. He's not big on lying. He'll just want to check out the house when he gets back, finish up his sweep. Very thorough little brat." He let out a laugh, "Just try to find something else to keep him occupied before he gets it in his head to tackle those fields next. Or the mountains."

Iruka really wanted to believe Kakashi was joking. Despite how amused he sounded, Iruka didn't think he was. "The school doesn't keep digital records. It should be difficult for anyone to track you here."

"Should be," shrugged Kakashi, "but they're mutants, too, you know. They'll show up eventually, he'll be ready for them, and you won't even notice until he comes limping home looking like he has been through a meat grinder. His brother has a rule about never involving bystanders - Sasuke follows the same thing. First sign of trouble and he'll head for the fields. This is the perfect place for that sort of thing."

There wasn't anything Iruka could say to that. He was still coming to grips with the idea that Sasuke was every bit as 'hunted' as he had looked when he first saw him. Kakashi had told him some of it over the phone, just enough to warn him that while the kid was overly paranoid, he did have a valid reason to be. Iruka's first reaction was to keep an eye on the boy. If no one would attack unless they got him alone, he would simply make sure Sasuke was never alone. Except he couldn't, because that was the same as caging him.

"Enough about the brat," Kakashi said suddenly. He flashed a smile, bent down to catch Iruka's wrist, and pulled him up. "How about that tour?"

"What," smiled Iruka, "you don't want to go off exploring on your own?"

"No, I leave that to the angsty antisocial teenagers. I'm a social animal," Kakashi beamed. "Good company is so hard to find, I have to take advantage of it."

Iruka let out a short laugh, "I'm a counselor, just a step away from teacher. The only difference is a small pay increase and my kids don't get graded. I'm more about listening and lecturing than being good company. If you ever need a sympathetic ear, that's what I'm here for. Beyond that, I can't make any promises."

He glanced over to find Kakashi looking at him funny. It wasn't the man's expression so much as where he was looking. He wasn't looking at his eyes, or his face, it was more like he was staring at-

"You do have very nice ears," Kakashi said agreeably. He smiled widely when Iruka sputtered for a second and then laughed. The telephone laugh. Soft, husky, a little breathless at the end, and entirely natural. Maybe Iruka didn't reserve it for the bedroom, but Kakashi still liked the sound of it.

Iruka shook his head with a smile and waved to direct Kakashi's attention to a wide low gray building down the block. "That's the bus station. It stops there every hour, but no one really waits there. If you ever want a ride, just stand on any corner and it'll pick you up when it makes its round. From three to five during the school week it only carries students. Its normal hours are six to eight, noon to five on Saturday. It doesn't run on Sundays.

"There are two groceries," Iruka continued. "One on main street and one on 37." He nodded to the road they were walking alongside. "This is 37. If you follow it, it takes you out of town and winds all the way to the airport in Sisco. There's another bus that makes the run, but you have to buy a ticket at the station for that."

Kakashi didn't think that was a hint, but he managed to look wounded anyway, "Are you trying to get rid of me already?"

"Of course not," Iruka blinked.

"Trying to get me to go grocery shopping?" Kakashi asked, as if that was even worse.

"No," Iruka said quickly. Was that the way he'd sounded? "I was just going in order of the places I thought would be most relevant. I wasn't trying to suggest-"

Kakashi smiled suddenly. Iruka stopped talking and sighed.

"Cute," Iruka said, shaking his head. "It's a small town. I didn't really plan an itinerary. I don't know what interests you, so I was going from basic to particular. For example, there's a little health food store on Franklin - I love it, Naruto hates it, they barely get enough customers to stay in business, but I would have mentioned it eventually just on the off chance you like that sort of thing." He gave a weak smile and shrugged. "Is there somewhere you'd like me to take you first?"

"Your bedroom?"

Iruka froze as if he had heard a gunshot and wasn't sure if he had been hit or not. Kakashi winced. Maybe he shouldn't have said that quite so quickly. The eager, hopeful tone did make him sound a little desperate. But Iruka was the one who had asked, so it was only natural that he tell the truth, right? Not that Kakashi had ever been as big on the truth as Sasuke was, but he had his moments. And it really wasn't his fault that the bedroom was the first place he thought of. Iruka's embarrassed little smile was too endearing for his own good.

After a moment Iruka turned his head to look at him. Kakashi forced himself not to laugh at the man's expression. If he laughed now he would have a heck of a time convincing him he was serious.

"Are you seeing anyone?" asked Kakashi.

Iruka blinked slowly and then squinted. Naruto squinted all the time and swore that made it easier to see things clearly. It wasn't working for Iruka. Kakashi's tone was as casual as if there had actually been a segue into that. Of course he wasn't serious. That wasn't even a question. Only sleezy men hit on him like that and it was always accompanied by a sweaty palm and a smarmy smile. And it absolutely never happened in public. This was another poker-faced joke like the shopping bit. He walked into those so often he didn't even bother to blush when the inevitable punchline was given.

He forced a polite smile onto his face and met Kakashi's eye. "As a matter of fact, I'm not seeing anyone. Maybe you noticed that Naruto doesn't...take to strangers much. I'd appreciate it if you didn't make jokes like that when we go back. He gets himself worked up enough without provocation."

So much for not laughing. Kakashi dropped his straight face and smiled instead. The second he did it, Iruka visibly relaxed as if he had just been waiting for that. Kakashi gave him a good minute to feel comfortable again, then he stepped forward into his personal space and nudged the headband up off his left eye. Iruka gasped at the sight of the sharingan, and he caught a firm hold on the man's shoulders before he could back away. He simply held him in place and smiled as he looked at him.

Iruka's energy signature was a vibrant blue, layered and swirling, with a thin sickly shadow on the edges from whatever drug had left him dazed that morning. And his only talent was simple healing? He was a much better liar than Kakashi had given him credit for. He was also ridiculously obtuse.

Kakashi's smile widened slowly, "I'm not making a joke, Iruka. You want to know what interests me? You interest me. What sort of things I like? Well, I'll like anything you allow, and I'll make certain you like it, too." He eased closer, just enough to murmur in the frozen Iruka's ear, "I'm very good."

Iruka snapped suddenly and shoved him away. Kakashi let him go, pulling the band back over his left eye and keeping his smile. Iruka's face was so red Kakashi almost felt sorry for him, and his indignant, horrified, and shocked sputtering didn't even border on coherent.

"You...! That - without even - and to...!"

Iruka cut himself off and dropped his head, curling his fists over his ears for one shaking moment to center himself. Then he snapped his arms down and glared so furiously Kakashi took a startled step back. Iruka stalked forward, forcing him back further until he was standing on the curb. The shocked look in Kakashi's eye was rewarding, but not nearly rewarding enough.

"We're on the sidewalk!" Iruka roared. "In public! Two blocks from the school! From children, from Naruto! What the hell were you thinking!"

Kakashi stared wide-eyed at the vein throbbing on Iruka's temple. He was suddenly very aware of the trickle of traffic passing on the street two feet behind him. There was an old man sitting on a porch swing two houses down, smoking a pipe and leaning forward with an eager, vulture smile as if he was just waiting for Iruka to push Kakashi into the road. Small town didn't mean dead town, Kakashi realized.

So maybe Iruka had a right to be a little upset. This wasn't 'a little upset', though. This was actually kind of frightening. That mild-mannered infinitely teasable mothering schoolteacher type had fire in there. If it hadn't been so scary it would have been sexy. Iruka would definitely be great in bed. Kakashi kept that observation to himself for the moment. He had learned his lesson. Time and place. On the sidewalk in public two blocks from the school wasn't the place. Yes, lesson learned. He was ready to go sit in the corner now.

Iruka shuddered a little, his teeth clenched as he built up steam to continue his rant. He was cut short by a hand clapping down on his shoulder.

"Are you taking adult students now, Iruka-sensei?"

Kakashi blinked and marveled at how casually the stranger asked that, as if he had seen Iruka explode so many times it wasn't a horrifying and shocking sight anymore. He wondered how long it would take him to get that immune to the venomous glare Iruka snapped on the man.

"You stay out of this," Iruka spat.

"Now, Iruka," the man sighed, smiling calmly in the face of that glare, "do you really want me to cuff you in front of the elderly? You're a little old to be disturbing the peace. Why don't you leave that sort of thing to Naruto, eh?"

Iruka glowered resentfully as the tension drained out of him, leaving his shoulders slumped. He shot a look at Kakashi and his eyebrow twitched. He hadn't caused a scene on a public street like this since he was twelve. It was humiliating. And that was the entire reason he had gone off in the first place - being publicly humiliated. Oh, Kakashi had no idea how lucky he was Hiko had stopped him before he committed murder in front of voyeuristic neighbors.

"Kakashi-san," Iruka said tightly, not even attempting a polite smile, "this is Hiko, volunteer constable." He looked at the officer - who had once dragged him by the ear and locked him in a closet for fifteen hours after he caught him in a 2am yelling match over who had broken the most car windows - and glowered darker. "He's staying with me."

"Really," the man blinked. He turned appraising eyes on Kakashi and grinned. "You're either really brave or really smitten."

"Both," Kakashi smiled back. All of his confidence slipped back into place, and he shook hands with the other man. He decided he liked him. He was rough looking with shaggy sandy blonde hair kept out of his eyes with a dusty blue bandana, and pulled back in a thick tail so loose half of it fell around his face to his shoulders. His eyes were pale blue, narrow, and he had a weathered face, tan with a hint of stubble and an easy grin. He was the same height as Iruka, but his build made him look more like someone who fought with his fists, a bouncer, than a street cop in a tiny nowhere town. He wasn't wearing a uniform, either.

"How about we get a drink," Hiko said, turning to smile pointedly at Iruka. "I've got plans tonight that don't include making a visit to your place with the coroner later."

Iruka's eyebrow twitched again. Kakashi was smiling at him as well, looking as content and easy going as he had been a few minutes ago. That just wasn't right. Iruka glared sullenly at Hiko, "Aren't you on duty?"

"Took the day off," Hiko smiled. He prodded Iruka on the back, turning him and poking so he started walking. Kakashi followed pleasantly.

"How were you planning to cuff me, then?" Iruka scowled, unwilling to let go that easily. An arm swung at the back of his head, and he blocked it with his wrist. His eyebrow twitched again at Hiko's smile.

"Different kind of cuffing," said Hiko. He flashed a look at Kakashi and jerked his head toward the fuming Iruka. "Cute when he's sulking, eh?"

"Very," Kakashi beamed back.

Iruka stopped walking and wheeled around. He marched himself in the other direction and made it all of four steps before an arm caught his elbow and turned him back around. Hiko was still smirking, but there was too much steel in his eyes and grip to do more than continue glowering. Fine. So he would join the two idiots while they drank. But he swore if he found finger-shaped bruises on his arm later, he was going to sic Kyuubi on him. And this time he wouldn't step in the second it looked like Naruto was winning.

.-.

Considering how quaint and small the town was, Kakashi was rather impressed by the bar. It reminded him of a disco club he had been to in Cuernavaca, only emptier. There were three stories, the top being off limits, the bottom floor consisting of a bar on three sides and a dance floor in the middle. The second floor was a balcony set directly above the bar and open with a rail where people could stand or choose a table close enough to look down at the dance floor. They even served Mexican food, though it wasn't nearly as good or cheap as the real stuff.

The best part of the place was the hostess, a half naked knockout who somehow managed to make her tanned skin look good with a fluffy tail of pale pink hair. If Kakashi hadn't already set his sights on Iruka, she definitely would have been on his list. At least she would have been up until Hiko elbowed him in the side and directed his attention to the blonde giant frowning at him from the other side of the bar. Taken. That figured.

She was still nice to look at, and really friendly, too. The first thing she did was put her hands on her hips, exposing a long expanse of belly between her tight top and too short skirt, and told Hiko he had better not plan to get Iruka so drunk he passed out again or she would kick his ass. Kakashi liked her immediately. They had some surprising characters here, for such a small town.

Two hours later and he liked the bar, the owner, her broad-shouldered boyfriend bodyguard, Hiko, and the town a whole lot more. They were all eager to talk about Iruka and between his talents and that surprisingly short temper, there were a lot of things Kakashi wanted to know. The fact that Iruka was a happy divulging drunk didn't hurt, either.

"I was awful," Iruka winced, grinning painfully, "you wouldn't believe it. Naruto has never done anything half as bad as some of the things I used to do. I have to go easy on him. Have to. I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't."

"I wish I could have seen that," Kakashi sighed. The explosion earlier gave him an idea, but Iruka was so reserved and polite it was hard to imagine him as a wild child. Especially a wild delinquent child.

"I got pictures," Hiko offered with a wide grin.

Iruka shot up straight in his chair, "No! No way, that's where I draw the line. I already know what he'll say and I do not want to hear it."

"Oh, come on," Hiko prodded playfully. "It's not that bad."

"Yes it is," said Iruka, quite seriously. "You'll just encourage him."

Kakashi perked up at that and caught Iruka's eye. They were sitting across one of the smaller tables from each other or he would have tried poking him. He was so cute like this!

"Encourage me to do what?" asked Kakashi.

Iruka shot him a droll look, "Like you don't know..."

He was flirting with him! He was actually flirting. Kakashi's smile widened, but a small twinge had him sending a quick look at Hiko. He didn't want to ask. Really didn't want to. He had to.

"So," Kakashi drawled, "how drunk is he?"

"Not enough," Iruka answered before Hiko could open his mouth. He pulled his half filled glass closer to himself and gave Kakashi a narrow-eyed look. "Don't get any ideas."

Kakashi blinked, once more bemused by how endearingly cute a bristling - but clearly tipsy - Iruka could be.

"That's his last one," Hiko shrugged. "Three of those, five if it's beer, or two shots of the hard stuff and that's it. Have to cut him off there or he won't be able to sleep."

That was a decidedly odd statement. Kakashi might have asked about it if Hiko hadn't pulled out a tattered wallet and slid it across the table toward him. Iruka jolted and went to slap a hand over it. Hiko caught his wrist at the last second and pulled him back like a naughty child.

"Now, Iruka," Hiko smiled, "think about it. Are a few pictures going to make much of a difference? He already hit on you in public."

Kakashi pulled the wallet toward him, enjoying the way Iruka's glower followed his hand. Those sharp brown eyes flicked up to him, and he smiled until his eye closed.

"You say one word and I'll deck you," Iruka promised. "I haven't looked anything like that in years. Obviously. I'm a grown man."

"You're still cute," Hiko apologized. It would have sounded more sincere if he hadn't been smirking. "You're just not as pretty and fragile anymore."

"I hate you," Iruka deadpanned. "Just the fact that you keep those in your wallet is disturbing. Pedophile."

"Hey, now," Hiko winced. "Tenka's my son."

"That's even worse," said Iruka.

Kakashi sent them a curious look and then opened the wallet to flip through the laminated photos. The first ones were of the same two women, one of which looked like she was related to Hiko. The boys were in the middle of the set. Kakashi's mouth dropped open so suddenly he had to readjust his mask to keep it from slipping down. Pretty and fragile? He definitely agreed with the pretty part, in Iruka's case, but the kids in the photo didn't look the least bit fragile. They looked like, well, Iruka looked like he was a harlot or something. The other kid was dressed in chains and black and looked like his pimp. If not for the telltale scar over the long-haired boy's face and the fact that Iruka had already exploded on him once that day, Kakashi would have laughed and passed the pictures off as a really funny joke.

He flashed a peek at Iruka, found him staring back with narrow eyes and pursed lips, and looked down at the photo again. There was definitely a resemblance. And Iruka was right, he didn't look anything like that. The kid in the photo looked younger than Sasuke, effeminate enough that he might have thought it was Iruka's little sister, and the skirt...

Kakashi ventured another look at Iruka, his lips twitching, "Halloween picture?"

"Yes," Iruka spat, glaring at Hiko now. "I hate you."

"I know, I know," Hiko sighed happily.

Kakashi grinned behind the safety of his mask. The photo wasn't sexy. He didn't go for children, but his very active imagination told him Iruka would look better in that outfit now than he had as a kid. Maybe someday he would get a chance to tell him that without getting his head ripped off. He flipped through the other photos, many of which featured the same two kids. The other one continued to look like a punk, shaggy black hair and a shit-eating grin - definitely Hiko's kid - while Iruka was glowering, bristling, pouting, or posing obnoxiously in every single one. It wasn't until he flipped back to the first photo that he realized the similarity the two boys shared.

"What's with the scars?" asked Kakashi. That was it. Both boys had a scar over the bridge of their noses.

"I don't remember," Iruka shrugged. He was much calmer now that he knew Kakashi wasn't going to burst out laughing. "I've had mine for years. I think Tenka's was self inflicted to copy me."

Hiko snorted. This time he was the one to glower. "Iruka is four years older, though you'd never guess from those photos. He's been a bad influence from the start. I tracked my kid halfway across the country and found him in a jouvie hall with this brat. Took em both home with me. I swear, if there's anything worse than trying to hold onto a runaway, it's having a pair of them set on mass destruction."

"Tenka was worse than me," Iruka told Kakashi, in a 'don't listen to him' tone. "Always. He could make weapons out of his energy, like those Star Wars movies with the swords? I had to stick with conventional things like tennis rackets and bricks."

Kakashi blinked.

Iruka frowned a little and finished his drink. "Don't look at me like that. I told you I was awful."

"Ah," Kakashi smiled slowly, "I guess you did. It's just hard to picture you as a little hellion."

Iruka actually looked pleased with that. He gave Kakashi a sweet smile and pushed his empty glass aside. The owner of the bar, Caldina, immediately came over with a cup of coffee for him to sip on.

Hiko snorted, "Iruka went straight the second time Tenka took off. This brat switched to responsible considerate and polite so fast you just know he was only acting before that. Turned into a damn scholar on me and took off for Japan."

"Hiko's boyfriend was the one who told me about Lyberday," Iruka explained, still looking pleasant and mellow. "He was passing through and stopped by to let me know that he'd moved out here. I called him up that same day. He made it sound so peaceful I couldn't resist."

Kakashi looked at the wallet he was still holding and slowly slid it back across the table to Hiko. "Boyfriend?"

"Yeah," Hiko rolled his eyes, "I know what you're thinking. The guy's got a kid who keeps running off and he's gay? Must be his fault. Well, it's not. Tenka never had a problem with me. He was weirded out by his mother sleeping with my sister. We split up right after he was born and I was straight as a pin up until a few years ago, so you can't lay any of that on me."

Iruka reached over to pat a sympathetic hand on the man's shoulder, plucking up his drink and setting it off to the side. "I think you're drunk, Hiko."

"Eh?" Hiko blinked from him to his drink and snorted softly. "The hell I am. I'm gonna get there, though. You look like you're calm enough not to kill him when you get home, so you two head on out. I'll hang around and look pathetic till Caldina lets me crash upstairs. You know she likes having someone to mother over."

Iruka nodded and got up, waving Kakashi to follow. He paused at the bar downstairs, where the skimpily dressed owner sighed and patted Iruka's head when he tried to pay for their drinks.

"He's lonely again, right?" she frowned. "On the house, then. You might try to visit more often now that you're on break, Iruka. He only comes in here every other week, so you just know he's spending the rest of his off time by the phone. It's not healthy."

Iruka sighed. "I've offered to let him stay with me, but you know how he is. Plus I have guests now, with more expected as soon as word gets around."

"Yeah, you got yourself a handful there," she smirked, eyeing Kakashi, who grinned back at her. "I still expect to see you around more often. You don't have to come in to drink, you know. I have the best amaretto in the country."

"Because it's the only amaretto in the country," Iruka told Kakashi, with a fond smile. He shook his head and waved on his way toward the door, "I'll see you later."

Once they were outside, Iruka cricked his neck, yawned a little, and bit down hard on the side of his left wrist. He didn't seem to think anything strange about that until he noticed the funny way Kakashi was looking at him.

"Wakes me up," Iruka laughed. "I've never been fond of alcohol, so a few drinks are my limit."

"Your friend back there," Kakashi started, letting the question hang unspoken.

"Mm," Iruka sighed. "He's worried about Tenka. Tenka doesn't get into as much trouble as he used to, but when a few months go by without any word from him, Hiko sends Bunchu out to look for him. That's the boyfriend. He's a mutant, too. I'm really hoping he'll come back soon. Naruto has never even met him. He has a strange ability that I think might help Naruto figure out what his talents are. It's the same thing that lets him find people."

He flashed Kakashi a knowing look, remembering the way he had stared at him earlier with that red eye of his. He tapped a finger on his forehead. "Bunchu has an eye here that sees everything a person wants to hide. And what he sees with it, he can suppress with it. A very useful talent..."

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Naruto hated tests. They were pointless, really. He never skipped classes, he always turned in his assignments, he even paid attention so he would be able to answer questions if Iruka decided to do one of his random 'make sure Naruto's not sleeping through school' quizzes. It wasn't as if he forgot things from one day to the next. And they always started a school year off with a recap of the things they were supposed to have learned the year before. All he needed was a look at the book and he would remember most of what he needed to know. That should have been enough.

But then there were tests. Comprehensive tests. Like he was going to remember stuff they had stopped doing years ago, when his head was full of stuff they had been doing last week. If he needed to recall that stuff, he would just get one of the books, remember it again, and then apply it to the new stuff. That was what they did with homework. And lessons. So why were the tests set up like they wouldn't have their books next semester? It wasn't right. He knew for a fact no matter what class he was put in, he would have a textbook, they would go over it, and then he would be expected to put it all together. They didn't start a new year by sitting him down in front of ten pages of single-spaced questions and expecting him to pull it all out of his ass.

'What the hell is a logarithm, anyway?' Naruto griped, scowling at his answer booklet. The booklet stared back up at him, as white and blank and unhelpful as ever. Naruto glowered and fidgeted in his seat. 'Hey, bum, wake up for a minute. What's a logarithm? Oi!'

Kyuubi growled and curled tighter in an annoyed ball, tails pressing hard over his ears. 'You answered six of them two pages ago, moron. The ones raised to the little number. Left side of the equal sign...'

'Well, why the hell didn't it just say that, then? Base, power, logathingy - what's the point? If I already had to do the problems, why is it asking again? Shouldn't have to know the names of everything - they're just numbers. You see em and you work em out, that's it.'

'Stop talking to me and do it, then,' Kyuubi grumbled.

'But there aren't any numbers now!' Naruto moaned. 'It's got names for it all and I don't know the names for this stuff - these are theories - theories! I never remember that stuff. It's like that one about the commas - who cares why it goes there as long as you know it does? Come on, Kyuubi. The least you can do is help me with this...'

'If you don't know the answer, skip it. It's not like it matters what class you end up in.'

'Yes it does,' Naruto shot back. 'Iruka-sensei is already upset with me and I wanna be able to tell him I did good.'

'You did well,' Kyuubi sighed. 'The result is good.'

'Huh?'

Kyuubi hid his head in his tails again, 'Just give up.'

'But you know this stuff!' Naruto railed. 'You remember everything - I'd have this entire thing done if you'd just wake up and help a little.'

'That would be cheating,' Kyuubi grumbled, already half asleep again. 'Start cheating now and you'll be as stupid as the pustule. Just another pampered little pimple boy...paying someone to squeeze the puss for you so you don't explode...'

Naruto flicked a nasty glare at the boy in question, who was predictably seated right next to the smartest girl in their class and blatantly copying every answer she wrote. And of course old pinched-face somehow managed to miss looking in their direction when he made his rounds of the classroom to make sure no one was cheating. Of course. Naturally. Their teacher had spent half the test time standing right beside Naruto, but never looked two tables to the right where the real cheaters were sitting.

'You suck,' Naruto muttered. He sighed and flipped to a different page of questions. 'You really suck.'

'Only if he's lucky,' Kyuubi mumbled. 'Pretty eyes...'

Naruto raised an eyebrow and forced himself to focus on the first question in front of him. 'I don't even want to know. Go back to sleep.'

'About time...'

Despite his determination not to be anything like the pimple freak, Naruto ended up skipping nearly as many questions in the last section as he answered. He would just have to hope he had done well enough with the real math section - the one with numbers - to make up for it. And if he ended up in the same class again next year, he would have his lazy fox to take it out on. Kyuubi just hated school. That was all there was to it. He hated school as much as Naruto did, only he could sleep all day while Naruto had to stay awake or risk getting sent to a disappointed Iruka's office. That so wasn't fair.

He didn't really consider using Kyuubi as cheating, but he knew it wouldn't do any good to argue with the sleepy fox. He had tried that quite a few times, using Iruka's argument that Kyuubi was just another part of him, so really they were the same person and he wasn't asking for answers from anyone but himself. Every time he tried it, Kyuubi just rolled over and sniffed that he only used that line when he wanted to cheat in class. Cheating. Yeah. When Naruto wanted help in class it was 'trying to use his unseen friend' but when Kyuubi wanted him to run around barefoot on all fours in the fields it was 'being considerate to the needs of his other half.' Funny how that worked out.

Naruto sighed and closed his answer booklet. Half the class was still working. Sven and his girlfriend of the week had sauntered out twenty minutes ago. Stupid pustule. Everyone knew he was only sleeping with her for this test. If she weren't such a bitch, Naruto might have felt sorry for her.

'She's got nice legs,' Kyuubi commented. 'No ass, though.'

'Oh, so now you're awake,' Naruto scoffed. 'Jerk.'

'Pay attention,' Kyuubi said sharply.

Naruto blinked and looked up to find his teacher standing beside his desk. Again. He frowned up at him, lifting his test and handing it over first. He kept the answer booklet hostage in his right hand.

"My jacket," said Naruto.

"You can get it on your way out," the professor said, frowning back at him. "The booklet."

Naruto scowled and handed it over. His teacher accepted it with a sour expression, swept another look over his desk as if he still thought he would find a cheat sheet somewhere, and then turned away.

Naruto followed right behind him. It never failed with old pinched-face. Even if it was just a pop quiz, he was still the prime suspect. If he wore a jacket, it was taken. If he wore long sleeves, he had to roll them up. Naruto was sure if Terringer could get away with stripping him of his shirt, he would have done that too just to be absolutely certain there were no answers anywhere on Naruto's person. The first time it happened, Naruto had been convinced the guy was a pervert from the way he had stared at his bare arms. Kyuubi was the one who had explained how easy it would be to write answers on the inside of his wrist. For a lazy fox who didn't condone cheating on tests, Kyuubi knew all the tricks.

It wasn't until Naruto was safely outside, his jacket recovered and his teacher far from sight, that he vented. 'I hate him. Hate. Despise.'

'Fifteen years at most,' Kyuubi said back, cold and calm to Naruto frustrated anger. 'Lung cancer. Every time you walk in there I can smell it rotting more and more. He'll die all on his own. It's a waste of time to hate him.'

'I wanna hit him,' Naruto sighed. 'Just once. Every time he looks at me like that. And Iruka-sensei says he's too old to change - he's not that old. He's just a hateful bastard. It's not even anything I did, it's just 'cause I'm a mutant. Like he'd even know I was if I hadn't admitted it.'

'It's because of Iruka, too,' Kyuubi reminded him.

'I know,' muttered Naruto.

That was the only reason he held back so hard. If he gave Terringer any ammunition at all, the professor would run straight to Iruka. Then he would go over Iruka's head with the complaints. And Iruka would come home and lock himself in his office for hours before finally coming out, sitting down with Naruto, apologizing, and asking him to try harder. And that was worse than anything old pinched-faced put him through during class.

'He'd never have gotten that job even if we hadn't moved here,' Naruto muttered. 'He hates kids.'

'That's not the point,' said Kyuubi. 'The only way he can get to Iruka is through you. And you make it harder for him the more you hold back.'

Naruto gave a wan smile at that. 'You're saying I'm winning, eh?'

'Yes.'

'Trying to cheer me up now?' Naruto prodded, his smile growing wider. 'I'm still going to take it out on you if I fail that test and end up having him again next year.'

'You'd have had him for a few classes, anyway,' Kyuubi sniffed. 'History and Biology. If you didn't do well enough in the math to get out of his homeroom, it's your own fault. Foxes don't do numbers.'

'Excuses, excuses,' Naruto drawled, rolling his eyes. He stepped to the side so a kid could bolt past him and down the sidewalk. She stumbled twice before he recognized her as the smart snobby girl. 'Damn. He couldn't even wait till they got away from school before he dumped her...'

'Feeling sorry for her?' Kyuubi teased. 'Do you want to chase after her and offer some comfort?'

'No way,' Naruto said immediately. 'I just think it's wrong to make a girl cry like that.'

'She'll get over it in two days,' scoffed Kyuubi. 'Assuming she was really crying at all. He's a block behind us, you know. She was probably putting on a show for him. Would have been a better show if she had an ass to go with those pumping legs, though...'

Naruto resisted the urge to look behind him. 'Stop talking about her legs,' he grimaced. 'You said she wasn't your type.'

'She's dirty,' Kyuubi sniffed. 'Every week she smells like someone else. She's carried twice since we moved here, murdered it both times, and still she keeps trying to make more. And she has no ass. Not my type. That doesn't mean I can't appreciate nice looking legs when I see them pumping away like that.'

'Pervert,' Naruto winced. 'That's disgusting. I don't get that, that liking a body part but not the person thing. Why do you do that? It's like the guys talking about breasts. They call Marlie a cow, but they'll drool over her breasts for hours. I don't get it.'

'You do it, too.'

'Wha-'

'You're a face person,' Kyuubi said, all smug. 'The first time you saw her, before you found out she was a dirty bitch, you thought she was pretty.'

Naruto scowled. 'She is pretty. But that's not like-'

'You think Sasuke's prettier,' Kyuubi smirked. 'Because the first thing you look at is the face. You should have seen his eyes this morning.'

'He's got a pretty face!' Naruto sputtered. 'That's a fact, like saying flowers are prettier than rocks - it's not like looking at a body part and drooling over it just because of which body part it is. You don't see me-'

He cut his rant off mid-thought, his eyes narrowing suspiciously. 'Hey...wait. What do you mean this morning? You said nothing happened this morning. Right?'

'I did say that,' Kyuubi agreed, far too pleasantly.

'So,' Naruto growled, 'what's that about his eyes? If nothing happened, then I would have seen whatever you saw. Right? Right, Kyuubi...?'

Silence. The distinct impression that Kyuubi was calmly cleaning one of his paws. Which was wrong because Kyuubi wasn't a cat and he didn't have any way of getting dirty in the first place.

'Damnit, Kyuubi!' Naruto exploded. 'What the hell did you do with my body? I swear, if you did anything like - like-'

'Like what?' prodded Kyuubi, his ears twitching as he waited eagerly for Naruto's very active imagination to provide images to go with those suspicions. Anything Naruto thought he might have done was bound to be something he would love to have done.

'Like biting,' Naruto glowered. 'I'm not the pervert here, remember?'

'Spoil sport.'

'Yeah, well, you can make up your own perverted images if you wanna see them so badly. Now tell me. Did you bite him?'

'I didn't even touch him,' Kyuubi sniffed. 'Do you really think he would have been so quiet and bored looking at breakfast if I had bitten him?'

'Probably not,' Naruto sighed in relief. 'Okay. So what was that about eyes, then?'

'His talent,' said Kyuubi. 'Very pretty eyes. You'll see them yourself eventually. He thinks you've already seen them.' And Kyuubi's tone dropped, turning dark and sullen. 'He was looking right at me...and all he saw was you.'

'Poor Kyuubi,' Naruto teased with a wide satisfied smile. 'And here you were sure he'd be able to see right through me to you. I tried to tell you no one could see you, but did you listen? Oh, no, not Kyuubi. Poor little fox. Here you're all eager to bite the guy and he doesn't even know you exist. That's sad...'

'Keep it up,' Kyuubi bristled. 'You'll wish you hadn't.'

'Yeah?' Naruto scoffed, laughing to himself. 'What will you do? Talk me to death?'

'Something else I failed to mention about this morning,' Kyuubi commented, in a deceptively pleasant tone. 'I had full control of this body. After rolling you off the bed so often it was easy. I could have done anything I wanted and you wouldn't have woken up until I let you. There's nothing to stop me from doing it again the next time you sleep. Every time you sleep. And you need so much more sleep than I do...'

Naruto stopped walking. His expression was stricken and the cool silence coming from his fox made him nervous. 'Hey, Kyuubi. That's not funny, you know. I was just playing with you. I didn't think it would actually bother you.'

'I don't like being invisible, not having a body, not being able to do anything without your cooperation,' Kyuubi said back. 'When you rub my nose in it, it does bother me.'

'Yeah,' Naruto said quietly. 'Yeah, it would. Of course it would. I wasn't thinking about it like that. I just went right for your sore spot and started jabbing away at it. Sorry...'

'Idiot,' Kyuubi muttered. 'It's not the first time and it won't be the last. Stop that scared guilt thing. I'm not going to do anything with your body while you sleep.'

'I'm still sorry.'

'Hm,' Kyuubi sighed. 'Then maybe I should mention that if he hadn't stopped using his talent, I had every intention of jumping and biting him before waking you up and letting you take the blame...'

"What!" Naruto blurted, out loud, without thinking about the fact that he was standing alone on the sidewalk. 'You ass! I knew it! You better not have said anything weird...or looked at him funny, or, or anything freaky because he's gonna think it was me and that's not right.'

'He'll find out eventually,' Kyuubi pointed out. 'Once enough kids come here Iruka will have to make a disclosure rule to be safe. There's no point trying to keep it a secret. We're not that different from other mutants.'

'Sure,' Naruto sniffed. 'Like last time someone asked? Oh, you're a mutant, how neat! Do you control elements or make things float or read minds or something? And I'm like, I have a fox in my head who talks to me and lets me do things. Yeah. I've had enough of the crazy looks, thanks, and don't even get me started on the - oh, where did you grow up? I lived in mental hospitals for as long as I remember. And it's like, oh, really, that's, ah, nice and, yeah, I have to, um, I have go now... Right. Like I'd bring that on myself when I can just keep my mouth shut.'

Kyuubi made a frustrated huffing sound. 'They were idiot humans. Mutants aren't even the same species as far as I'm concerned.'

Naruto raised an eyebrow. 'That doesn't make it better, Kyuubi.'

'But it's true,' Kyuubi growled. 'I'd never have put up with you if you were one of them.'

'Careful,' Naruto reminded him. 'You start lumping all normal people together and you'll end up sounding just like pinched-face when he goes lumping all mutants together with the troublemakers. Don't wanna be a - a...you know.'

'Hypocrite...'

'Yeah.' Naruto nodded

'You know,' Kyuubi drawled, glowering, 'if you try saying it yourself you're more likely to remember the word next time.'

'Can't do that,' Naruto shrugged. 'It sounds weird when I use words like that. That's one of Iruka-sensei's words. Sounds normal when he says it 'cause that's how he is, but me, I just sound like I'm repeating something I heard.'

'...you are repeating something you heard. That's the point of learning a language.'

'You know what I mean,' Naruto said pointedly. 'I get in enough trouble repeating words I hear from you. Castrate? I told you I couldn't say anything about ripping cocks off and you give me castrate as an alternative? Without mentioning that, by the way, it means the same damn thing! Yeah. Don't think I forgot about that.'

Kyuubi just grinned in response. 'Next time ask what a word means before you yell it at someone.'

'And see?' Naruto glowered. 'This is why I don't want you doing stuff when I'm half asleep. You get me in trouble and then I have to deal with it while you go off and nap in some corner. I still can't believe he didn't ground me. Or you. Definitely you. Like bad fox, no talking for a day. Or something.'

'I just provide the ideas,' Kyuubi smirked. 'You're the one in control of the mouth.'

Lunch was waiting when Naruto got home. Just lunch. And a handwritten note from Iruka that made him distinctly nervous. Naruto stared at the note without making out a single word. He didn't even look at the sandwiches.

'This is bad,' Naruto whispered to his fox. 'I knew it was bad when he made me study, but he didn't say anything about me falling asleep so I thought he wasn't that mad. But this...now he's leaving notes for me? He doesn't even wanna talk to me?'

'Just read it,' Kyuubi sighed. Naruto's melodramatic side was fun to play with when he was being paranoid. Right now he was just being ridiculous.

'Read it for me,' Naruto whined, shooting a wary look around the empty kitchen.

'Idiot,' Kyuubi groaned. He did it anyway, if only to get this over with. 'It says, "Kakashi-san and I have things to talk about. We'll be in my office. Don't even think about disturbing us." I think he means it,' Kyuubi said sharply, before Naruto could do more than twist his face into a furious expression. 'If you run up there and start pounding on the door, he'll do more than ground you.'

'I wasn't gonna pound on the door,' Naruto glared sullenly. He wanted to, but he wasn't stupid enough to turn a disappointed Iruka into a furious Iruka. 'Is that it?'

'No. It says the kid's exploring the town and if it looks like it'll rain again before dark you should feel free to bring him an umbrella. That, and dinner's at seven. Don't be late. Or else.' Kyuubi grinned. 'I like the way his mind works...'

'What does that mean?' Naruto demanded. 'Or else what? I'll get grounded? He'll keep writing notes and never talk to me again? I'll have to apologize to the pervert? Why can't he just threaten me? I hate or else. He knows that...!'

'Which is why he uses it,' Kyuubi said back. 'Naturally.'

'And what's that umbrella thing about?' Naruto continued, getting more antsy by the second. 'He said he was gonna show them around. What - did he just dump Sasuke so he could lock himself up all alone in a room with the pervert? Is he trying to make me crazy? And they're up there now, they've been up there for who knows how long, all alone in the house, and now he expects me to go off and leave them alone some more? Maybe it's a test. Like he told me to go out and play when really he's just trying to see if I care enough to go up there and save him. He wouldn't have told me where they were if he really didn't want me to go up there, right? So-'

'Or else,' Kyuubi snickered. 'Do you want to find out what that means? Go up there and disobey him. You'll find out very quickly. And I'll go nap in a corner while you suffer.'

'Oh, come on,' Naruto groaned. 'You said you'd help me get rid of the pervert - you said so yesterday! Don't you even care what he might be doing up there? All alone in that little office. There's a couch up there! That's as bad as a bedroom...! You're the one who woke me up this morning because you were worried - don't try and act like you don't care.'

'Iruka isn't himself in the mornings,' Kyuubi said, still sounding amused, but also sounding calm and relaxed. 'If the pervert planned to take advantage of him, he would have done it then. This is a test. Iruka can take care of himself and you know it. That's the test. Leave it alone. You had a reason to act out this morning. You don't have one right now.'

'I hate it when you're reasonable,' muttered Naruto

He slunk down in front of the covered plate and ate mechanically. The letter caught his eye again. He read it himself this time, just in case Kyuubi had left something out. Nothing. Iruka hadn't even signed it.

'I can't believe he's writing me letters now,' Naruto glowered.

'Hm,' Kyuubi sniffed. 'Eat that one, too.'

Naruto grimaced and picked the top off the sandwich to look at the mushy gray filling. 'I hate tuna. It's got that sweet sour stuff mixed with it. I hate that.'

'I like it,' Kyuubi growled back. 'I don't complain about the honey and butter crap you like. Eat it.'

'So gross,' Naruto grumbled. 'If we figure out that multiple body trick, the first thing I'm doing is sticking you in one of them and making you use it when you eat. Poisoning my poor stomach with this crap.'

'I don't think the trick works that way,' Kyuubi sighed. 'It would be nice if it did. Mm...eat another.'

'No! If you want some more, I'll open a can of it. I can't stand that mayo stuff. It tastes like it's already gone bad. Even the pickles can't hide it.'

Kyuubi perked up at that. 'Two cans.'

'One,' Naruto sighed. 'And I'll try not to throw up the next time you have a dream about eating rabbits.'

'Deal.'

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

It took Sasuke three hours to find the red-light district. At least, he assumed that was what the area was. Kakashi had stuck to large cities, most of them as crowded as the one they had first met in, so he wasn't sure how the stereotypes translated to smaller towns. The area was dirtier than the rest of the town, more suspicious looking people, smaller hotels with stained exteriors, more cars, and a lot less staring. People here were on a mission. They didn't have time or interest in a lone kid who happened to be walking down the same sidewalk as them. For the first time since he had set out, Sasuke was able to stop walking without attracting the eyes of everyone on the block.

It was disturbing. He was used to being inconspicuous. When he was younger he had had trouble with cops, sometimes overly concerned adults who felt the need to keep an eye on the little boy walking the streets alone at night. That sort of thing had stopped at least three years ago. And there had always been enough people around for him to get lost in the shuffle. This was different.

It was daytime, for one thing. He had seen plenty of other teenagers walking around together or alone, particularly near the larger stores in the middle of town. Even then he had gotten stares, enough so that he had shied away from the area without getting a very good look at the buildings. There were enough blatant tourists shopping alongside the residents that he didn't understand why he was drawing so much attention when they weren't. The residential areas were a thousand times worse. As far as he could tell, the long-term residents had nothing better to do than to hang around outside and monitor their sidewalks. He had never seen anything like it.

He was seriously starting to reconsider staying in this place for any period of time. He had never felt this nervous being out in the open before, this conspicuous. Just the fact that the worst part of the town was the only place he felt safe in proved something was wrong. He was leaning against a faded brick wall and watching the building across the street - the hotel he knew any hireling of Itachi's would end up staying in when they tracked him down - and he still felt more relaxed than he had all day. That wasn't normal.

Kakashi liked to tell him he was paranoid of everyone, but it just wasn't true. Sasuke didn't care about most people. Normal people couldn't touch him. He had nothing to fear from them, so they didn't matter. Even normal mutants didn't bother him. It was only certain mutants, strong ones, crazy ones, dangerous ones, that he felt the need to be on constant guard against. Yet here he was, in the one part of town he was certain that type of mutant would pick, and he didn't even feel the need to keep his observation discreet. The only thing bothering him at the moment was the thought that Iruka's house was all the way on the other side of town and he would have to walk back through those stares to get there.

A woman approached him finally and he pushed away from the wall. She had been watching him for a while. He hadn't paid her any attention because she was staring for an obvious reason, not like the people in other parts of town. He had gotten that a lot in the last few years, about the same time those concerned adults stopped watching him with dismay. Kakashi said they did it because he was better looking than their usual tricks. As far as Sasuke was concerned, that just meant he had even less reason to be interested in them and so they should be looking for desperate old perverts like Kakashi instead.

The woman, who upon closer inspection was obviously twice his age, stopped beside him and went to lay a painted hand on his shoulder. Sasuke slipped past her with a bland expression.

"I have no money," he said, knowing by experience that any less would only be encouragement.

"I didn't ask for money," the woman said quickly, clicking after him in her laced up shoes. "You just looked so lonely I thought you'd like some-"

"I don't," Sasuke said sharply.

He heard a huff as he walked away, and that was all. The fact that she didn't protest or try following him was a point in favor of the town. He did get a few glares from the men sitting on the stoop down the street, but that wasn't anything new. He preferred glares over bored, curious, and interested stares any day.

A half hour later found him on the outskirts of town. Apparently it was entirely circled by those fields. There were estates here, too, many as large as the one Iruka lived in, most a lot more abandoned. A few of them looked like teenage hangouts. The large yards were littered with trash, burn patches in the high grass, trampled areas, and intimate articles of clothing amid broken bottles. One house in particular caught his attention the moment he approached and spotted it through the overgrown trees that obscured the front lawn. He stopped at the edge of the long drive. The yard was circled by a three foot stone wall and he stood on the outside of it, just looking at the house.

None of the windows were broken. And they were black on the inside, garbage bags or paint to prevent so much as a glimpse of the interior. Sasuke didn't have any special senses when it came to being a mutant. He couldn't smell blood from yards away like Kakashi could. He hadn't even been able to read mutant energy signatures until recently. But his stomach clenched when he looked at those black windows, and he knew one way or another he would end up inside there. It was the way certain dead-end alleys would catch his eye and make him sick just looking at them, knowing a body was going to be left there and he wouldn't let it be his.

He wanted to burn it down, the entire property, everything inside that chipped little stone wall. The first time he was chased anywhere near the place, he would do just that. The thought had no sooner surfaced than fat drops of rain splattered on the sidewalk. As if someone up there was mocking him. Sasuke sniffed and leaned his back against the wall, tilting his head back so the rain washed over his face. It wasn't as if anything shy of a hurricane could put out a blaze he had started, anyway.

He had just decided to head back, to circle the outskirts of town this time, when Naruto showed up. He heard him coming long before he came into sight, the sound of running footsteps muffled with heavy rain but loud in the absence of so much as a car splashing by. Sasuke blinked and turned when he realized who it was. His eyes were immediately drawn to Naruto's feet and the fact that he was running so fast without slipping at all on the sopping sidewalk. Then the boy skidded to a halt ten feet away with a peculiar expression on his face, half hidden by his big green umbrella.

Sasuke frowned back at him. Had Iruka sent Naruto to find him? He shouldn't have. He wasn't late. When he had said he would be back before dark, he had meant nightfall, not cloudy rain-caused darkness.

He waited for a few minutes until it became obvious that Naruto wasn't going to come any closer. Sasuke's frown darkened and he pushed away from the wall, going over himself. "Were you looking for me?"

Naruto blinked, looked around suddenly, and then went right back to frowning at Sasuke. "Yeah..."

"Why?" asked Sasuke. The question came out more sharply than he meant it to, but Naruto didn't seem to notice.

"Oh," Naruto grimaced suddenly and looked embarrassed. "I was supposed to find you before it started raining and bring you an umbrella. It's kinda pointless now. Sorry. I didn't know you'd be all the way across town or I'd have left sooner."

Sasuke sighed, dropping his eyes to glower at the drenched sidewalk. He should have known. Maybe if he explained to Iruka that he had spent as many winters outside as he had in, the man wouldn't be so quick to worry about a little rain.

"Here," said Naruto, pressing a dark blue umbrella at Sasuke. "It's too late now, but, whatever." Sasuke took it with the same sullen distaste he had given Iruka's coat yesterday. Naruto shook his head with a wry smile. "I bet you don't want it, eh? You were just standing there like you didn't even notice it was pouring. You like getting wet?"

Sasuke shot a look at the umbrella but didn't bother doing anything with it. He was already soaked, so it wouldn't make any difference. "I like the rain," he frowned. "It's clean."

"Yeah," Naruto said, "but it's cold. You know, if you get sick Iruka-sensei will make you stay in bed for days. You'll hate that, seriously. He can get rid of some of the symptoms, but he still makes you stay in bed forever and you can't eat anything but soup."

Sasuke shrugged and pushed the hair out of his eyes. That was the only thing he disliked about looking down in the rain, the way his hair stuck to his face. He shot a look at Naruto. "Does he expect me to come back because it's raining?"

"Probably," Naruto muttered. A frustrated and angry expression started over his face. "Assuming he's not too busy with the pervert to even notice. Did he dump you earlier? He told me he was going to show you guys around - and then I got home and he's locked himself in his office with the pervert and you're out here by yourself. He's not usually like that, honest."

"I wanted to look around alone," Sasuke said pointedly. He must not have been pointed enough, because Naruto didn't take the hint.

"Oh, that's okay, then," Naruto nodded. "He still usually worries a lot more than that, you know, not just about rain, but all sorts of stuff. Like, if he found out you were hanging around here by yourself, he'd have a fit." He shot a look at the house, a little smile pulling at his face. "You found one of the only places I'm not allowed to go near," he said. "And I bet you had to go through the slum to get here, too, right? Lots of druggies and old women with too much makeup?"

Sasuke nodded with more interest than he had shown before. "Is there a story behind this place?"

"Oh, sure," Naruto said, sending another look at the house as if he couldn't believe he was this close to it. He shook his head and frowned at Sasuke. "Everyone says something different about it. The usual stuff, that it's haunted, that the guy who lived there killed his family and they rotted for months before anyone noticed, that it's a gang hideout and anyone who goes into the yard gets followed home and their entire family is wiped out - stupid stuff, mostly. Really it's just blood and sex and drugs. And that was a long time ago. You can barely even smell it now."

"You can smell it?" Sasuke blinked.

Naruto flinched and fidgeted, a blatantly fake grin pulling across his face. "It's just a saying, you know. Like saying you know a ghost walked by because the hairs on your arms stand up, that's all."

Sasuke gave him an unamused stare, making him fidget even worse. "Kakashi can smell blood from a long distance. His is more a survival trait than a mutant talent. It's nothing worth lying about."

Naruto dropped his eyes with an uncertain expression. Sasuke didn't bother pressing the issue. It wasn't as if he wanted to talk to the boy, anyway. Kakashi was the one who enjoyed making people uncomfortable just because he was bored.

"I'll go back if he wants me to," said Sasuke. "I won't go past that house if you aren't allowed near it." He turned and crossed the street. A moment later he heard Naruto trotting after him.

"I can smell it," Naruto admitted once he had caught up. He glared stubbornly at Sasuke, just waiting for him to say something mocking. The glare wilted a little when he didn't get more than a blank glance. "It's old, but it's still there. Stuff like that never goes away. I don't avoid it just because I'm not supposed to go near it, either. It's a bad place and if you can't smell it, just take my word for it and stay away from there. Especially when you're by yourself. Don't ever go in there."

"I don't plan to."

"Okay, then," Naruto said, nodding as if they had just settled an argument in his favor.

They walked in silence for a while. Sasuke was looking around at everything as he walked, as if he had forgotten Naruto was even there. Naruto started looking around, too. He had already seen just about everything there was to see in the town - including the slum, which he would never mention to Iruka. But looking around some more kept his eyes from latching onto Sasuke and staring until the boy remembered he was there.

It was difficult. The fact that Sasuke was holding the wrapped umbrella near the tip as if he had never touched one before just made it harder not to stare. He had to be freezing. Naruto was sure his teeth would be chattering by now if he had been the one soaking wet and dressed like that. Aside from the way Sasuke kept brushing his hair out of his eyes, he didn't seem to even notice the rain.

Naruto stepped over a puddle and grimaced at the way his feet squelched in his shoes. His toes were starting to hurt from being cold and wet. He immediately glanced over and felt his expression tighten. Sasuke was wearing sandals. Naruto had a pair, himself, since technically it was almost summer now, but he sure as hell wouldn't wear them in the rain. Once more he had to bite down on the urge to grab Sasuke's wrist, drag him to shelter somewhere, and force him to take his jacket and use the damn umbrella the rest of the way home.

'I'm getting as bad as Iruka-sensei,' Naruto grimaced.

'Oh,' Kyuubi responded sullenly. 'So now you're talking to me again?'

'No,' Naruto snapped, tensing and scowling straight ahead. 'Forget I said anything. Go back to sleep.'

'Make me,' Kyuubi growled.

'Asshole,' Naruto growled back.

'Blame me all you want,' said Kyuubi. 'It's not my fault you aren't as pure and innocent as you like to think you are. Hypocrite.'

Naruto refused to dignify that with a response. He glared and made absolutely sure his eyes didn't go anywhere near the boy walking beside him.

He had made one comment, just one, and Kyuubi had blown everything after that all out of proportion. The first time he had seen Sasuke brush his hair back he had thought about kissing him. Okay, yeah, that was sort of sexual. But it really wasn't about that. Not like that. It was just the way he had looked earlier standing all alone in the rain with his back to that house - which was nearly as bad as stripping down naked in front of a pervert as far as Naruto was concerned. It was too vulnerable. And he had looked lonely and cold and sad and Naruto had wanted to hug him, just warm him up a little. Because he didn't see how anyone could really enjoy being cold and alone. He had just thought that if it were him, he would want someone to hug him and take him somewhere warm.

Even the kiss thing wasn't perverted, not like Kyuubi was making it out to be. It was just that Sasuke was so cold even his lips were pale now and when he had touched his face Naruto couldn't help but notice and-

'Your first thought was to warm them up with your mouth,' Kyuubi put in. 'You wanted to stick your tongue down his throat out of sympathy. It had nothing to do with the fact that he's so wet you can see every curve through those skimpy clothes of his, from that pert little ass to that slender waist that's just begging you to sink your teeth into-'

'Damnit!' Naruto exploded, flinching and stopping dead in his tracks. 'That's you, not me! Yeah, I checked him out, I'm not blind, okay? But that's not why I wanted to hug him, that has nothing to do with it. I just felt like that could have been me and I'd hate that if it were me. If I think something perverted, fine, call me on it, but stop trying to make everything into something sexual. Sympathy's not about screwing people. I know you have trouble with emotions like that, but just try to understand that it's not the same. Not like that. And I sure as hell didn't think about biting his waist - where did you even get that? All this time you've been talking about people you wanted to bite, I thought you meant somewhere like-'

'Right there,' Kyuubi said calmly.

Naruto blushed furiously when he realized he had automatically looked at the spot where Sasuke's pale neck disappeared into his shirt. He blushed worse when he realized he had not only stopped walking, but Sasuke had stopped as well and was now staring at him with a confused frown.

'Oh, man, I hate you,' Naruto whimpered.

'How is this my fault?' demanded Kyuubi. 'You're the one in control of the body, remember? That includes the eyes and the feet.'

'Shut up,' Naruto hissed frantically. 'He's staring at me!'

'I would be, too,' Kyuubi shrugged, completely unsympathetic. 'At least you weren't talking out loud.'

"What's wrong with you?" asked Sasuke.

Naruto jumped a little and made the fish pantomime. Mouth open, close, open, close. He knew the blush was very dark on his face because even his ears felt hot. "Erm, uh..."

'Do something!' Naruto screeched at his fox.

'I can't feel your toes,' Kyuubi smirked.

Naruto's face twisted up, 'How the hell does that help me!'

'I think they're starting to freeze,' explained Kyuubi.

Naruto blinked and sighed in relief, silently promising to torture that cryptic fox the second Sasuke stopped staring at him like that. He pulled his umbrella closer to his head and grimaced at Sasuke.

"I'm freezing," Naruto blurted, as if admitting that was embarrassing and that was why he had hesitated. "Let's stop somewhere, okay? Just for a few minutes?"

"You don't have to walk me back," Sasuke shrugged. "Do what you want."

Sasuke turned away and Naruto jolted after him, catching his wrist. "No!" he said quickly. "I meant-"

Naruto froze. The second he touched him, Sasuke's entire body tensed up. Kyuubi coiled inside, vivid and alert, all joking aside, as if he expected they would have to defend themselves. Naruto didn't know what was worse, the absolutely blank eyes Sasuke slowly turned on him, or how cold his wrist felt.

"Sorry," Naruto murmured, blinking slowly. "Um, I meant we should both stop somewhere. Iruka-sensei is probably still in his office, so there's no point going back right away, anyway and-"

'Let him go,' Kyuubi said quietly.

Naruto blinked and let go, his hand automatically rising to scratch sheepishly at the back of his neck.

"So, yeah," Naruto continued, talking a little faster. "We could swing by the rental place. It's not far. We have an account there, so we could pick something up. I bet you don't like the same kind of movies I do, anyway. And it'd be kinda nice to not go there by myself for once. But if you really want to just go straight back, then I don't-"

"It's fine," interrupted Sasuke. He turned away and waved a hand at the sidewalk. "Lead the way."

"Really?" Naruto asked, relief mixing with his confusion at whatever he had just done that was bad enough to make both Sasuke and Kyuubi get all tense on him. "Okay, then. It's really not far. They have a pretty nice selection, too..."

"Fine," Sasuke said again.

Sasuke turned his attention back to their surroundings until Naruto stopped shooting worried looks at him. For the first time since the rain had started, he felt cold. Kakashi was right. Even with someone he had decided wasn't a threat, he still reacted on instinct. Naruto might have some mutant talent that made him stronger than most people, but that didn't mean Sasuke couldn't have hurt him. Badly. And if he reacted like that with someone he knew - as well as he knew anyone - he was bound to be much worse with random strangers. He would have to break that habit. Quickly.

This was one more reason why staying here was a bad idea. But the more he thought about it, the more he was sure Itachi would want him to leave. Itachi would feel as uncomfortable in this place as he did. Because that was the point. He was sure the face he had worn just now was Itachi's face, terrifyingly empty, and all the more deadly because of that. It made him wonder how Kakashi managed to be so calm around him all the time. Maybe it was because Kakashi didn't know what would happen if Sasuke ever snapped the way Itachi had...

"Naruto," Sasuke said sharply, stepping forward so he was walking beside the boy instead of behind him. Wary blue eyes turned on him and he looked away. Had he scared him that much? It shouldn't matter whether he had or not. He frowned and offered the umbrella he was still carrying. "Show me how to work this."

"Seriously?" Naruto gaped. His eyes widened for a moment before he caught himself and closed his mouth. He had thought Sasuke held it like he had never touched one before, but he hadn't actually believed it. He stepped over and handed his own umbrella to Sasuke. "Hold this for a second. Okay. There's a catch you push it up on. And whatever you do, don't ever open it in the house. That's bad luck."

Sasuke looked at him as if he had said something incredibly stupid. "That's stupid," he said, to reinforce the look.

"Maybe, but it's still bad luck," Naruto glowered back at him. "So don't do it. Iruka-sensei will have a fit." Kyuubi was superstitious enough to have a fit, too, but Naruto didn't bother to mention that.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

"What does it do?" asked Iruka.

Kakashi resisted the urge to fidget in his seat. They had been talking for a while, seated in Iruka's cozy little office with the large desk separating them. It had started out great. Iruka's eyes had glittered when he decided to hide out in the office and test Naruto's willpower as payback for the outburst that morning. While he would rather have been sharing the couch, the large chair was too comfortable to complain about. And Iruka's interest in him seemed like a very positive sign at first. Somewhere along the way he had lost control of the situation. Completely. It worried him that he couldn't point out exactly when it had happened. They had gone from talking about the kids, with him poking playfully for more information on Iruka's wild childhood. The next thing he knew, he was being interrogated. And he hadn't even noticed until he had gotten halfway through describing his first encounter with Sasuke.

He had clearly underestimated him. Even now that he was wise to the fact that he was the one doing all the talking, he couldn't spot anything in Iruka's expression besides casual interest. His tone was pleasant, the mood was as warm as ever, and the office was still a quirky comfortable striped little den. He reminded himself to ask about the stripes. His attention darted to the right, a quick glance over the spidery blue designs on the wall that seemed to change every time he looked at them. There was definitely something odd about that. Like this entire situation. How had he gone from planning to probe and bed the guy to telling him his life story?

Iruka's cup clinked quietly as he set it down, reminding Kakashi to pay attention. He glanced over and fidgeted again. Iruka didn't look the least bit impatient, just sitting calmly and smiling some when their eyes met.

"Do," Kakashi said slowly. It wasn't that he had a problem talking about himself. He just wasn't sure if telling more would help or hinder his cause here. "For me or the kid?"

"Both," Iruka smiled. "Do those eyes do anything besides allowing the two of you to mimic things?"

Kakashi forced himself to think about what he was saying and not the paranoia that was starting to buzz around his ears. They were just talking. It wasn't as if Iruka was going to explode on him for saying the wrong thing. Probably.

"Well, it depends," he said. "Sasuke uses them for everything. As far as I can tell, he can't use any of his copied talents without activating the eyes first."

There was more to it than that. Since he had started reading energy signatures, he couldn't help but notice. Sasuke didn't even read as a mutant unless he was using the sharingan. It was as if his energy came out of nowhere the second he activated them and then it just...disappeared again. He was sure that had a lot to do with Sasuke's fatigue in the mornings, but since he didn't know what it meant, there wasn't anything he could do about it. Iruka didn't need to hear about that. If he wanted to know Sasuke's life story, he could interrogate him next. And if he did, Kakashi had an idea Iruka would get a lot more out of the brat than he ever had. Iruka was a little too good at this.

"And you?" Iruka asked, his smile widening just a hair. "What do you use yours for?"

Kakashi blinked suddenly. That buzzing had switched to a quick little tinkling bell. Aha! It was that look he had given him earlier. Iruka didn't appear to have an ulterior motive for asking that particular question, but there was something shark-like in his ever so pleasant smile. Kakashi leaned forward to smile innocently back at him. He had no problem being put on the spot when he knew what he had done wrong. And he hadn't actually done anything wrong. Iruka just suspected he had, or that he had tried to.

"I don't use that eye to copy talents," Kakashi said warmly. He could actually see a hint of tension drain from Iruka's shoulders. He loved being right. "I use it to see things."

"Really."

Oops, wrong thing to say. That tension was back and it had brought slightly pursed lips to go with it. Kakashi hurried to remedy the mistake. "Energy signals," he said, in a dismissive tone. "Everyone has them. I picked the trick up from a cranky little old lady I met a few months back. Taught it to Sasuke, too, though I'm not sure if he ever figured out how it works. For me, it's a way to tell a normal person from a mutant. I didn't mean to invade your privacy or make you uncomfortable. It was just my way of getting a good look at you."

"Really," Iruka said again, not looking very convinced. "And what did that good look tell you about me?"

"That you're very well named," Kakashi smiled.

Iruka blinked and jolted back a little in his chair. "Excuse me?"

"The office, too," Kakashi continued, his smile growing as he looked at those odd walls. "You really play up the whole dolphin thing. I like it."

"Th-" Iruka sputtered, a blush breaking out over his face. "That has nothing to do with my name!" he blurted. "The walls aren't even blue, they're more silver than anything. It's just that the patterns make me comfortable. I have agoraphobia."

"Fear of spiders?" asked Kakashi, eyeing the web-like walls uneasily. Iruka hadn't struck him as a masochist. Not that he had a problem with masochists. They made things interesting.

"Open spaces," Iruka glowered. "If you think this is bad, you should see the ceiling in my room."

Kakashi whipped around immediately. "I'd love to! I have always had a great interest in interior design. And if you feel more comfortable when you're closed in, I'd be happy to accommodate you."

"You're so helpful," said Iruka. His eyebrow twitched twice before he broke and sighed, giving in to a wry smile. "Seriously now, what did you see when you looked at me earlier?"

"Blue," Kakashi admitted. He propped his elbows on the desk and nudged the band up and off his left eye. Iruka tensed, losing his weak smile. Kakashi gave him a sober look in return. "I see blue. Thick, uncontrolled, with a thin darker layer underneath. And there's a shadow on the outside that shouldn't be there."

"A shadow?" Iruka asked cautiously.

"Mm," Kakashi nodded. "It's not as heavy as it was earlier. Whatever drug you're taking, it isn't good for you."

Iruka flinched and a queasy expression passed over his face. "You can see that. Is there anything else? Anything that...shouldn't be there?"

Kakashi closed his right eye, sharpening the focus so the black commas of the sharingan rotated full circle. He would never get used to the way that felt. Already he could feel a tension headache threatening along the back of his neck. He didn't see anything suspicious besides that shadow, and the shadow was definitely thinner than it had been a few hours ago. It was thinner, because it was being stretched and pushed out by that hazy blue.

He blinked both eyes and covered the sharingan again. Iruka was watching him with a wary expression. He shook his head in response. "Nothing. I don't know much about reading like this, but there doesn't seem to be anything else. What are you afraid of?"

"I'm not afraid of anything," Iruka sighed. "It's just-" He broke himself off with another sigh. Then he leveled a probing look on Kakashi. "You know how I mentioned that Bunchu could 'see things' with his eye? He never saw a shadow or anything like that because I never had to take the drug when he was around."

"Because he can suppress what he sees," Kakashi finished. "You mean uncontrolled talents."

"I mean everything," Iruka said sharply. He looked both impressed and uneasy at the thought. "Everything he sees. Talents, memories, instincts, rebellious thoughts - everything. If someone like Sasuke's brother copied a talent like that..."

Kakashi's eye widened. His first thought was that he wanted to meet this guy. The bored and greedy little collector in him was already rubbing its hands together. He didn't even know if a talent like that could be copied - chances were, it would backfire the same as it had with the sharingan. But he would be damned if he didn't want to find out as soon as possible. First things first, though.

"So this Bunchu guy suppressed your talents when you were living with Hiko," said Kakashi, "and when you left you resorted to a drug?"

Iruka looked off to the side, staring just past his shoulder. Kakashi didn't have to turn around to guess he was looking at the wall behind him.

"Yes and no," Iruka murmured. "I wasn't lying when I said healing was my only talent. It's all I can do." He glanced back to Kakashi and frowned at him. "The drug doesn't have anything to do with that. It's just to help me sleep."

"That shadow was weighing down your energy," Kakashi countered. Iruka didn't look like he was lying, but Kakashi was starting to think Iruka could hide things better than he had thought. "I could see that much."

"A minor side effect," Iruka said with a shrug. He stood and circled the desk, stopping next to Kakashi. "All I can do is heal minor injuries. Anything beyond that doesn't work the way it should. Let me see your eye again."

Kakashi stared up at him for a moment before pushing the band back again. "I can't keep it open for long. I did an hour once, really pushing it, but I ended up in a coma for three days. It's a good thing it wasn't longer or I'd have starved to death. The brat never even considered spoon feeding me. Or rolling me over, come to think of it..."

Iruka gave an involuntary smile at that. "I'm not surprised, what with the way you met."

"Yeah," Kakashi shrugged. He slouched back in the chair and let his eyes creep over Iruka again. "So what am I looking for this time?"

"Nothing," said Iruka. "I'm providing a demonstration. Feel free to try copying it if you can. I doubt it would backfire whether it works or not."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow at that. "What makes you think I'd try to copy your talent?"

"I didn't get the impression you were interested in me for my intellect," Iruka smirked. "And since you copy by touch, hitting on someone would be the easiest way to get close enough to copy whatever you want."

"Sharp," Kakashi winced. A pout crept over his face, mostly hidden by his mask. "I'll have you know I'd be all over you even if you didn't have any talents."

"You're after my body either way," Iruka pointed out, with a soft laugh. "So don't take this as an invitation. Kindly keep your hands where I can see them till I finish."

Kakashi's eyebrow twitched. He closed his mouth with a sullen frown. A moment later he opened it again. Iruka had leaned forward and placed his palms on his temples. His headband was the only thing keeping those fingers from sliding into his hair. Kakashi couldn't help but complain about that. "It doesn't seem fair that I have to keep my hands to myself when you're the one touching first."

Iruka coughed on a laugh. "I'm trying to concentrate here."

"You and me both," Kakashi drawled, his eyes widening at how close Iruka's face was to his. He suddenly wished he had never gone with the whole mask idea. "Are your lips as soft as they look...?"

"Ka-" Iruka blushed and glared. "Shut up and make sure you stop me if it looks like I'm going to faint."

That sobered Kakashi up, at least for the moment. "What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to show you why I said healing minor injuries is the only thing I can do," Iruka sighed. "Now be quiet."

"Hm," Kakashi frowned, obeying reluctantly. Iruka was staring at his left eye, which was a little strange now that he thought about it. He had gotten used to having people look at his right eye, or at the bridge of his nose as if he had two eyes like everyone else. They either did it to be polite, or because they suspected he could see through the band. Not that he cared at the moment. Iruka was standing right against the arm of the chair and leaning over him. The view was just as good as it had been on the street earlier. Except this wasn't in public. Time and place? He would be a good boy through the demonstration, but as soon as it was finished the good boy was taking a nap.

His gaze was drawn to that scar again. Surely it was too perfect to be accidental. What could do that by accident? Something falling straight down and trying to cut his nose off his face, maybe. A really clumsy person aiming for the eyes and cutting everything but. An angry child trying to mar what was otherwise a very likeable face. Iruka had said his friend's matching scar was self inflicted. Maybe he really was a masochist. He glanced back to Iruka's eyes and blinked at how dazed they looked. It reminded him of how glazed and unfocused they had been that morning. What exactly was he supposed to be demonstrating, anyway?

He focused on Iruka's energy again. The shadow might have been a little lighter, the blue could have been hazier than before. It did seem to be waving more around his arms. He could see the tiny hairs shift against the pale walls in the...background. Oh. So that was why the webbed stripes had seemed to move. It was a gradation trick. The pale silvery marks stood out a fraction past the darker colors, the rough texture offsetting the rest so the design appeared to change depending on where he looked. He could see where the repetition started and the contrast with Iruka's energy was like being in an aquarium and Iruka's eyelashes were fluttering and-

"Ah," Kakashi winced. He wrapped an arm around Iruka's waist and pulled him up so he was sitting on the arm of the chair instead of sagging over it. "Stop now, whatever you were doing. I get it."

Iruka blinked slowly, his head lolling so he was looking in his general direction, "Mn?"

"Yeah, that would be uncomfortable," Kakashi nodded, with an overly serious expression. "I can fix that."

He pulled him further until he had a lap full of unprotesting Iruka. He promptly took the opportunity to nuzzle the nape of his neck. Nice. Iruka squirmed and pushed his head back with a sleepy frown. Kakashi beamed back at him.

"I like you like this," he grinned. "No protests, no explosions, just warm and soft and - ah! Um, hey there...feeling better...?"

"Hands," Iruka reminded him, his frown not quite as sleepy as before, "where I can see them."

"Come on," Kakashi sighed, "you know you liked-" A pointed jab stopped him from going further. He reminded himself that his warm bundle of Iruka was in a very good position to damage parts he happened to be quite fond of. He offered an apologetic smile and promptly lifted his hands. "Where you can see them. Got it."

"Better," Iruka drawled. "Now explain why I'm in your lap."

"It's better than the floor?" Kakashi ventured with a hopeful smile. "You looked so out of it, I thought you'd sink down and puddle wherever you landed. This way's much more comfortable. So, about that demonstration. Did you enhance the sharingan or heal the fatigue?"

"Neither," said Iruka. He pushed himself up, a droll glare stopping Kakashi when he made to hold him in place. He wavered a little and leaned back against the side of the desk. "That's what happens when I try to heal something too serious for me to heal. It stops healing and the energy I'm trying to use gets transferred instead. What it gets used for depends on the person. Tenka used to call me a living battery. I can't control it and once I start, I can't stop on my own."

"Until you pass out," said Kakashi.

"Not even then," Iruka frowned. "A battery doesn't stop until you disconnect it or it goes dead. That's why I don't even attempt to heal more than minor injuries. Have you encountered others with this sort of problem?"

"No," Kakashi admitted. "I've seen a few who could transfer energy to each other, but that wasn't their actual talent. More like a side benefit of having more energy than most people."

Iruka snorted at that. "It has never been a benefit for me. It doesn't even help the way you'd expect it to. I thought it was an enhancement at first, but when I tried it with Tenka it just made him lose control of his own talents. He couldn't even manifest one of his weapons without it exploding." He gave a soft laugh at the memory. "Then I had to heal him on top of everything."

"What does it do when you sleep?" asked Kakashi. Iruka tensed and shot him a sharp look. He had expected as much.

"Nothing," Iruka said, in a tone that didn't encourage arguments. "That's what the drug is for. And before you ask, it doesn't have a name. It was made for me in particular by a friend of mine who specializes in mutant medication. I've been taking it for years, with no adverse side affects."

Aside from being dead on his feet when he woke up. Kakashi decided not to point that out. Iruka looked too defensive already. He had probably had trouble getting custody of Naruto because of this issue. It was clearly a touchy subject and there were far better subjects involving touch for them to get into.

"If you say so," Kakashi waved. He slunk more comfortably in his chair and casually stretched his legs so Iruka was standing between them. Nice. "It doesn't sound like the sort of talent I'd want to copy."

"I didn't think so," Iruka sighed. His eyebrow twitched, but he continued leaning against the desk as if he hadn't just been trapped there. "When you copy uncontrolled talents, you can't control them any better than the person you got them from, right?"

"Absolutely right," murmured Kakashi. "That's a danger in this profession. Of course, it depends on whether the talent is uncontrolled, or uncontrollable. I master things very quickly when I put my mind to it."

"Of course," said Iruka. "I wasn't implying otherwise."

"I didn't think you were," Kakashi said smoothly. Now if he could just get his chair a few inches closer to the desk...

"Kakashi-san."

Kakashi blinked at the amused glare Iruka was giving him. "My hands are right here," he protested. No one had said anything about ankles...

"Yes, I can see that," Iruka remarked. He didn't want to be amused, but Kakashi's innocent expression combined with the way he was holding his hands up made his lips twitch. "As tempting as the offer is, I'm really not interested in a quick lay."

Kakashi gave a lascivious smile. "Who said anything about quick?"

"And besides," Iruka said quickly, forcing back a helpless smile, "the energy I gave you won't last forever. You should really cover that eye back up if you don't want to end up in another coma. I'd make Naruto spoon feed you. I don't think you'd enjoy that."

Kakashi blinked in surprise, one hand rising to his left eye. He hadn't even noticed. No tension in the back of his neck, no queasy twisting 'focus' of those black commas, and the view was so vivid he had simply enjoyed it without thinking about the reason. It wasn't until he pulled the band down that he realized Iruka had used that distraction to step over his outstretched legs and was now sitting in his own seat on the other side of the desk. Sneaky school-teacher type.

"That was mean," Kakashi pouted.

Iruka laughed. "I'm really trying not to encourage you."

But he hadn't exactly turned him down. Kakashi knew when he was making progress. True, Iruka wasn't jumping at the chance to get bedded. He was still smiling and blushing in a way that said he enjoyed the flirting too much to make an outright rejection any time soon. Kakashi would get to him long before that time came. The chase was half the fun. Well, no, it wasn't even a fourth as fun as the actual bedding, but it was definitely an enjoyable portion of the process.

"Just watching you smile is encouragement enough," Kakashi drawled, earning him an even more embarrassed smile. Or maybe that was a resentful pout. Whatever it was, he liked it. He leaned forward onto the desk just as sounds erupted downstairs.

Iruka paled and looked as if he had seen a ghost. "That came from the kitchen."

"Yeah?" Kakashi prodded. Voices sounded from below. He raised an eyebrow at that, his eye gleaming suddenly. Voices. Plural. "I think that one was Sasuke."

"They're in the kitchen," Iruka mumbled in a panicky little voice.

"Yeah," Kakashi waved dismissively, "but that one sounded like Sasuke. I have been torturing that kid for years and I've never heard him raise his voice. Not once." He glared at the floor resentfully, just as a muffled rattling sound came from below. "That's not fair..."

Iruka shot up out of his chair, his face solemn and pale. "Naruto. In the kitchen."

Kakashi had barely stood up before Iruka was out of the office. He heard every step he took down the hall and onto the stairs. He followed along, still distracted by jealousy at having someone else get a raised voice from his kid, and by how painfully thin the walls were in this house. He would have to remember to do something about that when he got around to the bedding.

Iruka was frozen in the kitchen doorway when Kakashi caught up to him. He leaned around to see the damage. And he frowned in disappointment. There was an overturned pot of noodles on the floor, what looked like ice cubes all over the place, and a red faced Naruto standing behind the counter. Sasuke was sitting quietly on one of the stools opposite him. Both boys looked like they had been rained on fairly recently - Sasuke in particular - but there wasn't anything apocalyptic enough to explain Iruka's sudden paranoia.

"I didn't do it," Naruto blurted, the second he saw them.

Sasuke snorted from where he was sitting at the counter. Naruto grimaced.

"Okay," Naruto scowled, "I did it. But it was an accident! I was just trying to make some food. It would have been fine if know-it-all there hadn't gotten in my way. Like I was really going to catch the kitchen on fire again. I'm not that clumsy."

Iruka closed his eyes tightly for a moment. Then he sighed. "Why were you trying to cook, Naruto? We've talked about this. What happened to the sandwiches I left you? You couldn't have eaten them all."

"I did!" Naruto said quickly. "Most of em, anyway. There's still a few of the tuna ones left, but you can't eat those after an hour - they get all soggy and that's, egh, you just can't eat that. And I couldn't ask you to make something cause you said not to bother you, and Sasuke didn't get anything earlier, so-"

"Don't blame this on me," Sasuke interrupted calmly.

Naruto glared at him for a second before taking up where he had left off. "Anyway, I was just gonna make some ramen. Only you didn't get any of the microwavable kind so I had to use the stove. Then the idiot over there got burned and made a fuss about the ice so I dropped half of it and, yeah, it's definitely his fault, too. Still an accident, though..."

Iruka turned apologetic eyes on Sasuke. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," said Sasuke.

"No he's not!" Naruto scoffed. He pointed a finger at the boy, "See, he's got-" He blinked when he spotted the towel of ice sitting untouched on the counter to the side of Sasuke. His eyes narrowed. "Hey," he muttered. "The point of the ice is to put it on the burn so it doesn't hurt as much, moron. It's not gonna do any good if you don't use it."

Sasuke didn't so much as look at him. He was staring calmly at Iruka, "I'm fine."

Naruto scoffed. "Yeah, right. Iruka-sensei can heal stuff like burns, you know." He finally caught Sasuke's eyes and smirked. "It's not worth lying about."

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched at having his own words thrown back in his face. It twitched again when large hands fell on his shoulders. There was a pervert behind him.

"Now, now," Kakashi said pleasantly, smiling down at the top of Sasuke's head. His black hair was wet and mussy, and his clothes were damp. He had definitely been playing in the rain again. "I'm sure we've been over this before. If you hide nasty wounds they get infected and smelly. That's inconsiderate to the people who have to smell you."

Kakashi pulled away before the boy could snap around and attempt to mutilate him. And he found Naruto squinting suspiciously at him from across the room. He beamed back, tilting his head a little.

"How come you can touch him without him freaking out on you?" asked Naruto.

Kakashi ignored the black glare Sasuke turned on him. "So you've tried it," he smiled at Naruto, "Good boy." The kid might have gotten a raised voice, but Kakashi was confident he was still the only one who could pet Sasuke and get away without so much as a broken bone. He smiled encouragingly at the pouting blonde. "Just keep at it, don't let him maim you, and he'll get used to you before you know it. It helps if you remember his bite is worse than his bark, and he can't do either if you keep his mouth full."

"Kakashi-san."

A certain brown-eyed teacher-type was raising an eyebrow at him. Kakashi gave a sly smile in return. "Full of food," he said, looking Iruka over. "What were you thinking I meant, Iruka?"

"I'm sure I don't know," Iruka said coolly, firmly telling himself he was not the least bit amused. He went over to Sasuke. "Let me see. As long as it's superficial, it should only take a moment to heal."

Sasuke put his arm on the counter. He glared when Naruto immediately leaned over to stare at the burn covering the top of his hand.

"Oh, gross," Naruto gaped, his eyes wide. "It's got bubbles now...!" He blinked and looked suspiciously at Sasuke. "How much does that hurt?"

Sasuke returned the look with narrow eyes. "Do you really want to know?"

"Ah," Kakashi said quickly, waving a hand so Naruto leaned back and there was more space between Sasuke and his would-be victim. "No fires in the kitchen, Sasuke. I think that's the lesson for the day."

Iruka nodded and pointed at the damp floor. "Naruto, clean up that mess before someone trips on it." He ignored the grumbling that followed the order. "Sasuke, please hold still. This won't hurt a bit."

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Sasuke never made a sound. He sat rigidly, his damp bangs shielding his eyes as he stared down at Iruka's hands. As soon as the healing finished, he stood up, made a sketchy thanks that was more assumed than heard, and was gone. They heard the front door close quietly behind him.

Iruka had watched him exit the room. Now he turned sober eyes on Naruto, who was crouched on the floor by the half cleaned mess and frowning at the door. "Go ahead," said Iruka. "I'll finish that and start dinner early."

Naruto's head snapped around. "Really?" he asked. He stared at Iruka for a moment in surprise. Then he beat a hasty retreat before Iruka could change his mind.

Unlike Sasuke, Naruto had the good sense to grab a coat from the hall closet before he left the house. Iruka noted that as he went over to clean up the rest of the mess on the floor. He heard Kakashi follow him around the counter, but didn't look up until he finished dumping the ruined noodles in the trash.

"I'm trying not to hover," Iruka said quietly, finally turning to frown at Kakashi. "I really am trying. But neither of you is making it easy on me."

Kakashi's eye widened. "Me? What did I do?"

"He's been living with you for two years and he doesn't know better than to run around in the rain without a coat?"

Iruka had posed it as a question. Clearly it was intended as an accusation. Kakashi leaned back against the counter and sighed.

"He doesn't own a coat," Kakashi explained, in a wry tone. He didn't want to sound condescending, but Iruka had a lot to learn when it came to Sasuke. It was difficult not to be amused at the thought of anyone being that worried about Sasuke's recklessness. The boy was always like that. Running in the rain was nothing. How was Iruka going to react when winter rolled around?

"I've bought him a few coats," Kakashi continued. "I even managed to get one on him once." He smirked fondly at the memory. Sasuke had put up quite a fight that time. He had won because he knew Sasuke's weakness - the kid wouldn't accept 'charity gifts', but he wouldn't willingly destroy them, either. In the end it was surprisingly easy to pin the brat and get the coat on him when Sasuke was rigid to keep from tearing it in the struggle. "I got him to wear it all the way outside," Kakashi smiled. "Then he pawned it and came back with groceries instead."

"Why?" asked Iruka.

"Same reason he won't wear long sleeves or let his hair grow out," Kakashi shrugged. "Makes him harder to grab hold of. He has cuffs he wears if it gets cold enough and that's it. I'm lucky if I can get him to wear real shoes when we're somewhere snowy."

Iruka stared in disbelief, and a good dose of rising anger. "And you just...allow that."

"Most of the time," Kakashi admitted. "He's stubborn, not stupid. If he thinks he can handle something, he usually can. And if it turns out he can't handle it, he doesn't do it again."

Iruka looked as if he were close to another explosion. Kakashi cut him off by stepping forward and putting an arm around his shoulders.

"He's about fifteen," said Kakashi. "Maybe sixteen. He had to have been at least thirteen when I met him. How old were you when Hiko picked you up at that kiddie jail? I may not know how you ended up there, but it sounds like you were as stubborn then as the brat is now. What about that runaway friend of yours? Sasuke is a runaway waiting to happen, always will be. Push him into doing something he thinks could get him killed the first time one of those thugs shows up, and he'll be gone within the hour. I figured that out fast. I may not like all of his quirks, but they've kept him alive. And I'm not his dad. I'm not even a big brother. I'm just...the convenient adult who pays for the rooms and walks him onto the airplane so people don't ask questions."

Kakashi smiled at Iruka's troubled expression. "You, on the other hand, are the nice stranger he's afraid of hurting. Innocent bystander. You can tell from how helpful he was being this morning. Don't worry about hovering. It's your house, your rules. He'll either obey or he'll take off."

"I don't want him to leave," Iruka said quickly. "That's why I'm trying not to hover."

"Yeah, but it really bothers you, doesn't it. And this is just one kid who's not yours. What are you going to do when you have a handful of them staying with you? If you tiptoe around worrying about upsetting one of them, they'll run all over you."

"No," Iruka said quietly, "they won't."

He slid out from under Kakashi's arm and gave him an odd look, a half smile that was just the slightest bit devious. Kakashi blinked, watching him start gathering things for dinner. That look reminded him of the way Iruka had so easily controlled the conversation upstairs. He didn't know what to make of it. A moment ago Iruka had seemed worried and hesitant. Now he acted as if he had never doubted himself at all.

"I'll have a talk with him tomorrow," Iruka said, glancing over his shoulder. "I'm sorry for questioning the way you've been taking care of him."

Kakashi blinked again, his eye widening suddenly. "Is that what you were doing?"

"Well," Iruka smiled, "mostly I was distracting myself so I wouldn't go chasing after him. But it's good to hear more about the way you've been raising him. That's what you've been doing, you know. Raising him. Even if you started it because you were bored, he's a lot more than an entertaining pet to you now."

"Um," Kakashi frowned. Had he referred to the brat as a pet earlier? He thought quickly, running through the things he had told about his first encounter with Sasuke. Yeah, he had used the word pet a few times. A pet cat. "He's more of a stray than a pet..."

"So you say," Iruka murmured pleasantly. He set a pot of pasta to boil. Then he started gathering things for a salad. He would have Kakashi help. If he could teach Naruto to do it, he could teach even the worst cook.

"I'll be buying supplies," Iruka said as he worked. "I expect him to use the things I get him. The same goes for you."

"Me?" Kakashi blinked.

"Mm," Iruka smiled. "Wash your hands and chop this for me, please."

Kakashi looked doubtfully from the knife he'd been handed to the full head of lettuce. This was more Sasuke's area of expertise. The only vegetables Kakashi handled came out of a can. He washed his hands and came back to frown at the vegetable. He slowly cut the head of lettuce in half down the center. Then he glanced back up. "What do you mean me?"

"You didn't eat much this morning," said Iruka. His expression was gently disapproving. He didn't seem to notice how nervous that made Kakashi. "You'll end up as thin as Sasuke is."

"Eh?" Kakashi forgot about the lettuce cutting. He knew from holding him earlier that Iruka weighed considerably less than him. And he had always gotten compliments for his physique. Comparing him to the scrawny brat was ridiculous. "How can you say that? You haven't even seen me naked yet!"

Iruka started, a light blush breaking over his face. He considered reminding Kakashi that he had no intention of ever seeing him naked and decided against it. Selective deafness worked just as well. "All I meant was that breakfast is a very important meal in this house. As you said, my house, my rules. If you dislike what I make, I'm perfectly willing to prepare you something separate. I don't like to see people not eat."

"Oh," Kakashi sighed, deflating slightly. He was still tempted to do a little kitchen demonstration to prove his manliness and lack of scrawny teenager-ness. If the kids walked in Sasuke would take one look, do a full body twitch, turn on his heel, and walk right back out. Naruto would probably do a repeat of earlier and explode in outrage. Not only would it serve as a temptation to Iruka, it would be amusing as well.

"I take it you don't usually eat breakfast?" prodded Iruka.

Kakashi looked over in distraction. "No, we usually stick with coffee in the morning."

Bad thing to say. Very wrong thing to say. Iruka froze, his hand curled so tightly over the little fruit knife he had been using on the tomatoes that his knuckles turned white. Kakashi was already wincing by the time he finally looked up. Iruka looked up slowly, stiffly, with narrow brown eyes.

"We?"

Kakashi fidgeted. "Ah...well, I'm a bachelor, you know. Old habits. I've been drinking complimentary hotel coffee since I was twelve. The pots are so small it's not more than a few cups each..."

He absolutely would not admit how much he enjoyed the twitchy restrained hyper activity Sasuke displayed when he was jarred awake by a caffeine high. And it wasn't as if he hadn't tried to get Sasuke to eat in the mornings. The last time he had reheated his signature soup-stew from the night before, the kid had taken one look and made a run for the bathroom. Kakashi suspected Sasuke was allergic to one of the ingredients. Kakashi had been eating it for years, with relish, and he had never had trouble keeping it down.

"Don't tell me you never drank coffee as a kid," Kakashi said quickly, with a winning smile.

Iruka's dangerous frown lightened just a bit. "I did. In the evenings. To stay awake. Never for breakfast."

"Most important meal of the day?" Kakashi ventured. Iruka gave a sharp nod. "Well, if you want to keep the brat off the coffee, I'm sure he'll listen to you. He ate enough for three people this morning. He definitely likes you."

Iruka made a noncommittal hum and went back to preparing the salad. Sasuke didn't like him. Maybe he would eventually. Right now he was simply trying to avoid trouble. Iruka had recognized that immediately. The entire time Sasuke had spoken to him that morning, he had looked uncomfortable. It was forced and impersonal. Iruka had behaved the exact same way when he had gone alone to Japan after living with Hiko and Tenka for so long. There were two common ways for a defensive child to keep people at a distance. Iruka had done them both. It was either being abrasive so they didn't want anything to do with him, or being so painfully polite that they barely noticed him. He was glad Sasuke had chosen the latter approach with him. It was much harder to befriend abrasive teenagers.

.-.

Naruto found him in the backyard, seated on one of the large rocks at the edge of the trees. There were four of those rocks, mini boulders as Naruto liked to call them. They were two feet high and squished on the top and bottom so they were perfect for sitting. He had literally stumbled across them in the fields and drug them home to mark the corners of his would-be garden. It wasn't a garden yet because he hadn't decided what to plant there. He had spent all of spring sitting on one of the rocks and staring at his little eight by twelve patch of dirt. He kept getting distracted by the rocks, all four of which were speckled with shiny spots, rough patches, and faint etchings that reminded him of scars or fossils. He had to admit they looked especially interesting now that they were wet. That didn't stop him from immediately feeling annoyed at the sight of someone else sitting there.

Actually, he'd been annoyed before he even got outside. Iruka wasn't being himself at all. Iruka hadn't said a word about them being wet, he didn't make him finish cleaning up his mess, and he didn't even look exasperated when Sasuke went right back outside. Then there was Kyuubi, who had been faking sleep for the last hour. Naruto knew he wasn't really asleep and Kyuubi knew that Naruto knew. So why was he even bothering to pretend? The only thing Naruto could come up with was that Kyuubi was busy thinking things he didn't want Naruto to overhear. Kyuubi almost never hid things anymore. Everyone was acting weird and it all led back to Sasuke. Sasuke, who was currently sitting on one of his rocks and staring at his patch of dirt as if it were his own personal brooding spot.

Naruto stopped a few feet away and crossed his arms. The rain had calmed into a steady drizzle that barely made it through the edge of the trees. He was still getting wet, and his jacket was already damp from earlier. All Sasuke's fault.

"What's your problem?" Naruto glowered. "If you're mad at me, fine, don't take it out on Iruka-sensei. He was just trying to help."

"What's buried here?" asked Sasuke. He was staring over his folded hands at the barren mud patch. He heard Naruto make a distracted sound behind him.

"Nothing right now. It's gonna be my garden once I plant something." Sasuke gave no sign of having heard him. Naruto stalked as close as he could get without stepping in the mud. "That's my rock you're sitting on, too, so the least you can do is look at me when I'm talking to you."

Sasuke gave a slow look over his shoulder. "Do you want me to move?"

Naruto stared in surprise. Sasuke's eyes were half-lidded, as if he were bored, but the irises were a dark vivid red. There were two black marks angled on either side of the pupils, the top ones only half visible. Kyuubi stopped pretending he wasn't paying attention. Naruto wasn't the least bit surprised. Pretty eyes? More like dangerous and exotic. And Sasuke was already exotic compared to the locals here, with his pale complexion and Asian features. Naruto had never drawn as many stares living in Japan as Sasuke had the second they had walked into the rental place.

'Okay,' Naruto muttered, 'I admit it. He's really hot.'

Kyuubi gave a wistful sigh. 'I told you so.'

'He's still a jerk,' Naruto added firmly.

Sasuke continued to stare at him as if he were waiting for something. Naruto took that as an invitation to stare right back. He was sitting on the edge of the rock, legs bent, with his elbows propped on his thighs. With his head turned to look over his shoulder like that, Naruto could see a pale scar on the back of his neck that was probably hidden by his hair most of the time. Naruto never scarred, so he was always obscenely interested in them. Iruka did his best to discourage that as being unhealthy, while Kyuubi encouraged it as being a normal boyish obsession with gruesome injuries. At the moment, that little scar reminded Naruto of how nasty the burn on Sasuke's hand had looked, and the way he had just sat there as if it didn't even hurt. That was probably a conceited macho thing, but it was still kinda cool.

"How did you get that scar?" asked Naruto. He completely forgot his annoyance in favor of hearing something potentially disturbing. He didn't realize his eyes had lit up with eager interest, so he was a bit confused when Sasuke gave a disgruntled frown.

"I got knocked through a window," Sasuke muttered. His eyebrow twitched when Naruto's face lit up even more.

"Seriously?" Naruto gaped. "That's so cool. Were you fighting with a mutant? I got a broken nose once, but I heal really fast so it's not even crooked now. He was just your average moron, anyway. He just got lucky. I've never fought a mutant. Was he really strong?"

"No," Sasuke said, frowning more. He didn't want to talk about this. It was distracting and Naruto's energy was flickering strangely, too unnerving for him to relax the sharingan. It was as if the more excited Naruto got, the more his energy reacted. And Sasuke didn't know enough about energy signals to know if that was normal or not.

Naruto blinked. "No, he wasn't strong, or no, he wasn't a mutant?"

"Both," said Sasuke. He forced himself to look away, his gaze turning back to that muddy patch. "He wasn't a mutant. He was..." How had Naruto put it? "...just your average moron."

"Oh," Naruto sighed. He frowned in disappointment for a moment. Then a slow smirk slid onto his face. "Wait, you mean you got knocked through a window by a moron? And here I thought you were strong."

'He is,' Kyuubi said sharply. Naruto ignored him.

Sasuke didn't so much as twitch. In fact, he relaxed and turned a condescendingly bored look on Naruto. "I don't use my talents on morons."

"I don't either," Naruto said quickly. "But I still don't get pushed through windows. Was he like drunk or something, so you didn't fight back? There's gotta be a story behind it - mutants just don't get beat up by average morons. We run away or fight back, everyone knows that. That's why there are so many runaway mutants all over the place."

He knew that for a fact. It was part of the whole 'mutant history' thing Iruka had told him when they first started living together. The second generation and all that. They either got beat up and their talents came out to defend them, or they got tossed out by bad parents and had to use their talents to protect themselves from everyone else. Yeah, there were some who supposedly got kidnapped from loving families by people wanting to experiment on young mutants, but Naruto wasn't sure he actually believed those stories. He couldn't imagine good parents like Iruka just letting their kids get kidnapped without going to the police, the papers, and telling the world until they got their kids back and the bad guys got theirs. Besides, even with those stories, the kids supposedly broke out and escaped by using their talents.

'If they kill the parents, there's no one left to look for the missing children,' Kyuubi reminded him.

'Maybe,' said Naruto. 'I still say if it happened as often as people say, there would be some proof of it.'

'You're proof of it,' Kyuubi said sharply. 'No parents, no extended family, no proof that you were ever born.'

'One hell of a conspiracy,' Naruto whispered back, in a playful tone. 'I know, I know. I still say I just got dumped, some morons tried to hurt me, and my talents came out to protect me. You don't remember anything before that, so anything else is just guesses. I'll believe it when I see it.'

"I don't fight humans," Sasuke said dismissively, turning away again.

"So?" Naruto prodded.

Sasuke leaned forward and frowned at the mud. "So nothing. Some morons were fighting and I was too slow to get out of the way. It didn't involve me." He had also been nine at the time and too small to elbow his way through the crowd, but that was beside the point.

"It didn't involve you until you got knocked through the window," Naruto scoffed. "What would you do if someone pulled a gun on you?"

"Dodge or disarm him," Sasuke said, in that same monotone voice. He had only been in one encounter where that had happened. Since then he had learned how close was too close to get to people like that.

"And if a moron picked a fight with you?" prodded Naruto.

"Ignore him."

Naruto's face screwed up in a disgruntled scowl. That was exactly what Iruka had been telling him to do for years now. Ignore them. Walk away. Don't sink to their level. Don't be baited. He had never thought to hear something like that from someone his own age. That was the sort of stuff adults said, even though they had never followed that advice when they were kids, either. They might as well tell the kid to take his punches like a good little doormat.

Naruto gave Sasuke a wincing look. "You're gonna be in trouble once school starts. Seriously. If you don't fight back, the morons will have a field day with you."

Sasuke ignored him. There was still something odd about that muddy patch. He was more interested in that than Naruto's warning. Morons didn't concern him. The footprints did. They were fresh, not deep enough for the shoe size, and they were in the center of the patch as if the person had dropped out of the sky, taken one step toward the house, and then disappeared. His first thought was that a mutant had been here. Someone who had purposely left a very telling sign behind. And it was far too early for it to be someone sent by Itachi. Was it someone who had already been here and had noticed the new arrivals? He didn't think so. His gut was telling him it was a mutant, but he didn't have any of his instinctive wariness when he looked at those marks. That made him even more worried.

"Where did you get that one?"

Sasuke blinked and sent a sharp frown at Naruto. The blonde was pointing at the patchy scar on his left knee, once more wearing an eager interested expression. Sasuke fought back a twitch. He wasn't used to people even noticing his scars. His skin was pale enough that they weren't visible from a distance, and most of the ones not hidden by his clothes and hair were so old they were hard to see up close. The last time he had lost a fight badly enough to walk away with scars was when he had been distracted by Kakashi. Sure enough, the scar Naruto was looking at with the same morbid curiosity he had given his hand was one of those. There was no way he would admit how he had gotten that one.

"Are there other mutants in this town?" asked Sasuke.

"Huh?" Naruto blinked. "You mean besides me and Iruka-sensei? I don't think so. Hiko's supposed to have a kid who's a mutant, and a mutant boyfriend who usually stays with him, but they haven't been here since we moved." He waved a hand vaguely over his shoulder, gesturing to the house. "Hiko's a friend of Iruka-sensei. He's the one who taught me how to fight. He's pretty good, but he's not a mutant. He says there aren't any others. I'm pretty sure he's right, cause I'd have noticed if I saw one."

"You can tell a mutant on sight?" Sasuke frowned. He could do that now, but it was a recent addition. He couldn't do it without activating the sharingan, which meant it was also a rather useless addition. It wasn't as if he could walk around town with the sharingan looking for possible mutants. He had gotten enough stares from people who assumed he was normal. He didn't want to think of how many he would have gotten with red eyes. Of course, he did have a pair of sunglasses he had used in the past, but they would have drawn far too much attention on such a dark rainy day.

Naruto didn't answer right away. Was this another of those 'not worth lying about' things? Kyuubi thought so. But Kyuubi wasn't the one who had to deal with the weird looks.

"Not really sight," Naruto said reluctantly. "It's kinda like smelling blood from a distance. But it's not smell, either. I just...know."

'I know,' Kyuubi corrected him. 'Ask him what the pervert's talent is.'

Naruto blinked. 'Why now?'

'Because you want to distract him from asking more about you,' Kyuubi sighed. 'And we need to know. This is a good time to find out, while he's already talking.'

"What talents does the pervert have?" asked Naruto. "I know he can be dangerous if he touches us, but not why. I don't want him touching me, anyway, but what would happen if he did?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. Naruto could tell that Kakashi's talent relied on touch, but not what the talent was? Something else about that statement caught his attention. "Us?"

Naruto flinched and blurted, "Anyone, I mean, mutants in general. Me and Iruka-sensei mostly. I know he touched you and nothing happened, but something could if he used his talent, right? Something bad?"

Sasuke let it go for now. If Naruto had more talents than his abnormal strength, he would find out eventually. Right now he felt a wave of sympathy, for someone who would probably end up as one of Kakashi's victims once the man got down to business. Better that Naruto be warned in advance. "Kakashi copies talents by touch. It doesn't always work. When it fails, he's the one at risk, not the person he's trying to copy." He glanced pointedly at Naruto. "He lost the free use of his left eye when he tried to copy me. Because our talents are too similar. Where he copies talents by touch, I copy talents by sight."

Naruto's eyes widened. He stood motionless, but inside he was giddy - and a little guilty.

'I told you,' Kyuubi was muttering. Naruto was bouncing around too much to pay attention.

'He copies talents,' Naruto rambled, more to himself than anything. 'Talents. Meaning he's got a bunch of them. That's gotta be enough. If we fight we'd have to come up with new tricks just to keep up, right? It's just like Iruka-sensei said about how most mutants discover their talents because they're backed into a corner where they instinctively act. And you said he's strong, so he'd be able to really push us and then we can-'

'He won't fight us.'

Naruto's giddy rambling came to a dead stop. Kyuubi's tone was sober, almost wistful.

'What do you mean?' Naruto demanded. 'Why wouldn't he? He copies talents - we got lots of talents and we'll have more once we figure out how to do them. You said he's strong, well, we're strong and strong guys always want to get stronger - you gotta fight strong people to get stronger. Why wouldn't he want to fight us?'

'First,' said Kyuubi, 'he doesn't know we're strong. While he suspects we are, he won't act without proof. You won't tell him anything about yourself.'

'I might,' Naruto said slowly. 'I mean, if I have to tell him so he's interested, then I will. He just came out and told me what his talent is, so...'

'Second,' Kyuubi continued, 'he's too dangerous to spar with.'

'Are you saying he'd beat us?' Naruto demanded, outraged. 'What the hell, Kyuubi! The first strong mutant we run into and now you're too scared to fight him? I thought you were all eager to attack him, what happened to 'jump him before the rain starts'? What's your problem?'

Kyuubi gave a vague full body turn that meant he was about to go back to sleep, or back to feigning sleep in this case. When he spoke, it was with a morose tone. 'His reactions are wrong.'

'You're talking about the way he looked at me earlier,' Naruto frowned. 'He was just surprised cause he's not used to us. You saw the way the pervert did it - cause he's more used to him. And he didn't do anything when Iruka-sensei touched him, cause he was expecting it, right?'

'Maybe,' Kyuubi murmured.

Naruto sent a frustrated scowl at Kyuubi's curled back. The fox was mock-sleeping again, just like that. Well, two could play that game. He squared his shoulders and pushed all thoughts of weird mind-changing foxes out of his head. That was when he noticed that he was currently standing alone in the back yard. He jumped, looking around in surprise. How long had he been chatting with Kyuubi? He was so used to it he could do it without losing track of what was going on around him. He hadn't 'lost time' in years. He was sure they had only been talking for a minute or two.

Sure enough, Sasuke hadn't gotten far. He was walking along the edge of the bordering trees, scanning the ground and branches with the same steady interest he had given the neighborhood earlier. Naruto went after him. Once he caught up, he could see that Sasuke's eyes were still red. They weren't as bored and heavy lidded now. In fact, Sasuke looked a little edgy. Nervous, maybe.

"What are you looking for?" asked Naruto.

Sasuke ignored him. It wasn't easy. It hadn't been easy to walk away from him, either. They had been talking, well, Naruto had been talking, and then the blonde had gone quiet. His eyes had dimmed, focused on nothing, but his expression continued to be animated as if he were listening to something only he could hear. Frankly it was unnerving to witness. Sasuke had seen the same thing on their walk back. This time he'd had the sharingan active to tell him that it wasn't just Naruto's face that changed - his energy had flickered, too. Whatever it was, he didn't like it. He had gotten a sudden urge to be somewhere else. And Naruto hadn't even noticed him getting up and walking off. Distracting. Bad enough the boy kept talking to him, he didn't want to get involved in Naruto's issues.

The house was too big. Sasuke had suspected as much when they'd first gone into it and he'd seen how empty the livingroom was. They hadn't been living there long. But there was more to it than that. He could tell by looking at the outside that there was a third floor, possibly a tipped fourth attic floor as well. The main hall upstairs was too narrow to account for the depth of the exterior, suggesting another section at least as large as the one he had seen. He needed to explore the interior. Iruka wasn't going to like that.

"Are you ignoring me...?"

Obviously. Sasuke kept his attention focused on the house. There was a window on the second floor that would give quick access to the roof. It was on the end, the next to last room before the bathroom. Kakashi's room. His eyes narrowed as he thought about the trouble he would have to go through to get the man to switch with him. Was it worth it? The drop from his own window wasn't that far. If someone tried to get in from the roof, they would have to go through Kakashi's room first. The man was a lazy pervert, but he was also eerily sly when it came to noticing things. With him in that room, no one would get further than the window sill. Assuming they even got that far. Kakashi's hearing was much better than Sasuke's. Best to leave it, then.

"What's your problem!"

You. Sasuke almost said it this time. He bit it back and turned away from the house. He would have to do something about Naruto. Soon. Right now he had an hour before dark. He would have to go in then to keep his word to Iruka. Yes, he could always sneak out later, and he probably would do that. But he wanted see as much as possible while there was still some natural light to see by. Using the sharingan to see through the dark took more energy than he liked.

The trees thickened further in, clusters of bushes and weeds until it almost looked like a real forest. Not that Sasuke had seen many 'real' forests. This one was heavy with tall grass from the fields. The trees themselves all looked the same to him. He wondered if Naruto knew what kind of trees they were. Then he winced at his own thought. It was very difficult to completely ignore someone who was throwing a tantrum two feet away. The trees. Yes, he was only focused on the trees at the moment. They were sturdy affairs with branches so heavy a person could travel from the field to the house without touching the ground. That thought caught hold with a vengeance.

Sasuke turned on his heel, sidestepping Naruto, who had just edged closer than before. He went back to the muddy patch of dirt and judged the distance from those footprints to the nearest trees. It didn't seem likely. The jump was too far, the impact would leave heavy impressions in the mud, and the person would have to have jumped backwards to get back to the trees because there weren't any prints in the surrounding grass. That was why he had dismissed the idea earlier. Now he remembered one of the mutants Kakashi had tracked recently. A willowy blonde man who had moved as if he were dancing on air. Sasuke had copied that, but he hadn't had a reason to test it yet. It was one thing to know he could mimic something he had seen. Figuring out how to do it was considerably harder.

He concentrated on being light. Easy enough. He was naturally graceful, fast enough that he didn't stay on the ground long during a conflict. But this was dancing. He made a darting rush to the side and turned, grass ghosting over his ankles. His steps were still visible. They were lighter, yes, but clearly visible to anyone who knew what to look for. The rain was weighing him down. Not really, but he felt as if it were. And his sandals were strapped too tightly, keeping him flat footed. A sharingan copied image passed through his mind, the blonde man the first time they had spotted him. He had been standing more on his toes, and he had been relaxed. Boneless, even. Fluid. The only time Sasuke achieved that state was when he woke up in a daze. Trying to force it would only-

A hand closed over his left wrist. Sasuke whipped around and caught himself, his right hand inches away from Naruto's neck. His first relieved thought was that the blow wouldn't have killed the idiot. He would have been knocked away, left choking from the impact, but he wouldn't have died. Sasuke would have realized who it was before he could follow up with an actual attack. His second thought was that the idiot was faster and quieter than he had given him credit for. Naruto had been at least five feet away and he hadn't heard his approach at all.

"Well," Naruto glowered, "that's one way to get your attention."

Naruto was furious. Frustrated and hurt, too, because he had been sure they were getting along a few minutes ago. He was trying really hard to get past that insulting first meeting, and to not peg Sasuke as a complete asshole. So what did Sasuke do on his end? Insult his use of the stove, get burned in his place as if Naruto needed someone to protect him, refuse to let him help with the injury, get him in trouble with Iruka, and then walk away and ignore him like he wasn't even there. Naruto could get past the whole kitchen thing, because Sasuke had been trying to help, and he didn't really mind not being the one with the skin burned off his hand. If he looked at it that way, Sasuke was a pretty good guy. Ignoring him, though, that was too much. It wasn't as if Sasuke had anything better to do than to hang out while they waited for dinner. All he was doing was walking around looking at stuff. And doing odd little turns in the grass. Naruto admitted he kind of liked that last bit because there was something tempting about the way Sasuke moved. It made him want to tackle him, ruin that perfect balance and knock him off his feet. Maybe get into a nice fist fight while he was at it to make up for the weirdness Sasuke was creating in Iruka and Kyuubi.

"Let go," Sasuke said sharply.

Naruto immediately tightened his grip. He had let go earlier when Kyuubi told him to and where had that gotten him? Aside from asking about the umbrella, Sasuke had ignored him the rest of the way home. He knew if he let go now Sasuke would go right back to ignoring him. Even fighting and getting in more trouble with Iruka was better than being ignored.

"Make me," Naruto shot back. Sasuke's dangerous expression flickered for a moment, revealing wary surprise. Naruto gave a smug grin. "I bet you can't."

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched. What was Naruto trying to do, get himself killed? He forced his left hand to unclench. Naruto promptly loosened his hold so the bones weren't grinding together as much. Stupid. In a match of brute strength he might never have gotten free without sacrificing his wrist in the process.

Naruto had one flashing moment of surprise before he found himself lying on his back. Sasuke had smirked at him. Yeah, it was a dark smirk, more insulting than anything, but it looked good on him. And he had been too startled to feel wary about why exactly Sasuke had gone from looking cornered to being darkly amused. Then Sasuke had done one of those half turns Naruto had found so tempting to watch and the rain dampened wrist he was holding slipped free. He blinked sprinkles out of his eyes, scowling in annoyance, and tried to figure out what Sasuke had done to get him off his feet. One minute Sasuke was pulling his wrist free and the next Naruto couldn't see him anymore.

'He dropped and kicked your feet out from under you,' Kyuubi supplied.

'Oh,' Naruto sniffed. He pushed himself up and glowered at Sasuke, who was once more doing his graceful little movements at the edge of the would-be garden as if the encounter hadn't even happened.

'Iruka is going to complain about the grass stains,' Kyuubi pointed out helpfully. He sounded rather amused.

'He never liked this coat, anyway,' Naruto said dismissively. He hopped up and approached Sasuke. The boy didn't even glance in his direction.

Kyuubi shifted restlessly. 'I'm telling you to leave it alone.'

'No way.'

'You can't take him by yourself,' Kyuubi said quickly, speaking faster the closer Naruto got to his target. 'The only way you'll beat him is if you attack with the aim to kill.'

'I don't want to kill him,' Naruto said, in a calm casual tone. 'I want to introduce him to my garden. He was staring at it so much earlier, I think he'd like to get a closer look.'

'I can't talk you out of this?' Kyuubi sighed.

'Nope.'

'Idiot,' Kyuubi said, wistfully, and fondly because Naruto was his idiot. 'Do you want my help?'

'Nah, not this time,' said Naruto. 'If I can't get him to eat mud, I'll let you play next time. You can even bite him if you want. He looks like he needs a good bite.'

Kyuubi perked up, going from reluctant to eager so fast his fur fluffed. They were on the same level now. 'I knew you'd see it my way.'

'Yeah,' Naruto admitted. 'We're the same, so it was probably a given. Quiet now, I'm gonna pounce.'

'Pounce away,' Kyuubi beamed proudly.

Naruto stopped a few feet away, tensed for a split second and then lunged. Sasuke turned before his feet left the ground. He was ready for him this time, twisting into the lunge and pushing him further. Naruto immediately thought of the 'toss' Hiko had used on him during their last mock fight. He had already come up with a way to counter that the next time Hiko tried it on him. He applied it to Sasuke now. He grabbed hold of Sasuke's arm, his other hand clenching tight on the back of his shirt. They went down together. Naruto rolled when he struck the mud, using his weight to push Sasuke off him and his grip on his shirt to keep him from getting free. Sasuke made a blurred move with his free arm, and Naruto felt something like a slap on the center of his neck. Then it turned into a slow burn. He didn't realize his throat had closed up until Kyuubi surged forward in a haze of heat to heal the spot.

'Told you to stay out of it,' Naruto shot at Kyuubi, distractedly. Sasuke was really hard to hold onto. He had gotten him onto one shoulder, but he couldn't seem to push him all the way onto his back. The hand shoving against his neck kept them apart so far that he was afraid he would rip Sasuke's shirt. He had already lost his grip on Sasuke's arm, what with the rain and the mud making the skin too slippery for traction.

A sandaled foot shoved against Naruto's stomach. Naruto heard Kyuubi give an excited cry about Sasuke's flexibility as he lost his grip and fell back. Then he was scrambling up again. He tried to kick Sasuke's feet out from under him the same way Sasuke must have done to him earlier. Sasuke jerked back and lost traction. He went down on one knee before he caught his balance. That was just long enough for Naruto to tackle him again. This time he hit him head on and had the pleasure of seeing Sasuke's head snap back until mud splattered up onto his cheeks. Naruto grinned, unaware that his own face was just as splattered. He twisted sideways so there would be no chance of Sasuke kicking him off again. Then he leaned down to smirk at Sasuke's expression. He looked livid, more shocked and furious than anything. It was nothing like that dead dangerous stare he had given him earlier.

"Now what?" Naruto taunted. "It must be really hard to ignore me like this, eh?"

Sasuke stared in rising horror. Were they children? This wasn't a fight, it was a...wrestling match. Here he was, rolling around in the mud with someone who had nothing to do with Itachi or fighting for his life, and the one who had attacked him wasn't even using his talents. Oh, he had noticed the way that energy had flared when he had slammed the heel of his hand into Naruto's windpipe, some healing or protecting counter that kept the injury from choking him the way it was supposed to. But aside from that Naruto hadn't done anything except throw his weight around. And all of this because he had ignored him?

"Get off," Sasuke growled. He didn't want to be the one to bring talents into this mess, but he wasn't about to resort to twisting and squirming his way free. He would have to leave his shirt behind to do that and just the thought of Kakashi's reaction when he went inside muddy and shirtless made his stomach turn over. "Now," Sasuke added, when Naruto continued to grin at him.

"Make me," Naruto said, grinning wider than ever. Sasuke's eyebrow started twitching. Naruto laughed and pushed harder on Sasuke's arm, forcing him deeper into the mud. He had finally planted something in his garden. The thought made him laugh harder. That was all the incentive Sasuke needed.

"Die," Sasuke hissed.

His left hand shot out, palm flat against Naruto's throat. Then he poured enough electricity into the moron to make his muddy blonde hair stand on end. Naruto let out a chattering yipe and fell over. Sasuke calmly righted himself, brushing clumps of mud off his arms and legs as he watched Naruto sizzle. The blonde gave a few spasming twitches before lying still. Unfortunately he was still breathing. A few stuttering gasps later and he was talking as well. Sasuke's eyebrow twitched. He should have gone with his first instinct and send those volts into his brain. At least then he would have been out cold for a while.

"You shocked me," Naruto gasped, gaping and panting at the muddy teenager standing beside him. "That fucking hurt...!"

"It was supposed to," said Sasuke.

"Well, duh," Naruto muttered. He was getting his breath back now. Kyuubi was snickering in his head at having had to help him yet again. Naruto didn't really care. He had just been electrocuted. He blinked dazedly at Sasuke, who was looking almost cute now that he was standing up with mud all over him and that exasperated and wary expression on his face. Naruto pushed himself up and gave a weak smile. "I admit, that was really fun..."

Sasuke backed away slowly. The blonde wasn't sane. That was the only explanation. He had used that attack on grown men and left them shuddering for an hour, more than long enough to finish them off or make a slow escape. Naruto was already climbing to his feet and going on about how neat the attack was, as if he hadn't just been on the receiving end of it.

"Next time we fight, I'll show you one of my moves," Naruto said, with an excited grin. "I don't have a lot of attacks, but I have some great moves. There's one I've been trying to figure out where I can be in two places at once. I'm sure I can do it, I just never had anyone fast enough to push me into it, you know? You're definitely fast enough. Squirmy, too. I was planning to rub your face in the mud for ignoring me, just so you know. You made it so hard just to pin you that I gave up, like trying to hold onto a worm or something." He smirked and rubbed a hand on his neck. "And what was that move you did with your hand? Feels like I've been yelling a lot - it was like that before you fried me."

Sasuke just stared warily at him, as if he were afraid whatever Naruto had might be contagious.

"Whatever," Naruto waved. "We can talk about that stuff later. Iruka-sensei is gonna have a holy fit when he sees us." He grimaced a little, and then waved that off, too. "Before that..."

He picked his way out of his newly tilled mud garden. Sasuke backed away some more. Naruto frowned a little at the odd wariness. Then he shrugged and held out a hand.

"Good spar," smiled Naruto. His happy expression faltered a breath when Sasuke just stood there staring. "It won't kill you to shake."

"Says you," Sasuke muttered.

He gave his hand, just to keep Naruto from grabbing it. His hand was shaken up and down twice before Naruto let go. Sasuke promptly took another step back. He remained a safe distance away as Naruto led the way into the house. Iruka let out a shout the second Naruto passed through the back door. Sasuke dropped his head in humiliation. He didn't know what was worse, Iruka's horrified reaction, or Kakashi's perverted mud wrestling comments.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Kakashi was the first to notice the visitor. The rain had finally stopped just after dark, replaced by a nice breeze that teased the curtains of his open window. That was something he had missed living in hotels, being able to open the windows and let the night air in. Sasuke couldn't sleep by an open window, and Kakashi rarely bothered with separate rooms. He was dozing on the too small bed, dreamily imagining how much bigger Iruka's bed must be, when he heard the faint sound of footsteps hurrying down the drive. The house was too far from the main road for anyone to come so close by accident.

He got up quickly, more curious than worried. He made it as far as the stairs before one of the steps betrayed him with a resounding creak. That was four boards he would have to avoid stepping on if he wanted to sneak around the place unnoticed. No question about it, he would have to sound-proof the house as soon as possible. The sneaky stalker in him demanded it. He knew just the trick to do it, too, assuming the walls were sturdy enough to handle the extra weight. But that could wait until later.

He reached the front hall just in time to hear the jingle of keys, and to watch as the door was unlocked from the outside. Kakashi leaned casually against the wall, curiosity and amusement dancing over his face. The man was obviously trying to be quiet, but he was so harried that he hesitated for nearly a minute, shifting indecisively, over whether or not to lock the door behind him. Then he turned resolutely and started down the hall. He was almost alongside Kakashi when he noticed him. He immediately jumped and dropped his keys. Kakashi caught them before they could hit the floor.

"You're not very good at sneaking around," Kakashi drawled in amusement.

Hiko gaped for a moment. Then he grimaced in embarrassment, accepting his keys and slipping them into his coat pocket. "I wasn't sneaking," he winced. "I was just trying not to wake up Naruto. I forgot he might not be the only light sleeper staying here now."

"He's a light sleeper?" Kakashi gave a doubtful look.

"Sometimes," said Hiko. He brushed past, glancing over his shoulder as he headed for the stairs. "I'll explain later," he said quietly. "I have to talk to Iruka."

"He's asleep," Kakashi warned. Dead asleep, and unlikely to be anywhere near coherent if he were woken up mere hours after dropping off.

Hiko gave a knowing sigh, "That's why I didn't bother calling first."

Kakashi followed him upstairs, noting how Hiko automatically avoided that squeaky step. Not that it mattered. The hall was as silent as before, but now two of the bedroom doors were open. Sasuke's room was pitch black inside, no sign of the brat. Kakashi smirked and walked a little closer behind Hiko. If he hadn't greeted him at the door, the adorably paranoid brat would have scared the life out of him. Kakashi made a note to warn Hiko about that later. Iruka's house was no longer a safe place to sneak into, whether the man had a key for the front door or not.

Hiko stopped at the bottom of the narrow stairs to the side of the bathroom. He turned a pointed look on Kakashi. "Have you been invited up there?" he asked, with a jerk of his head at the stairs.

"Of course," Kakashi lied innocently.

Hiko's eyes narrowed and he gave a soft snort. "Yeah," he muttered knowingly. "You just stay right there. Want to sneak up there without permission, do it on your own time."

Kakashi pouted, a sullen glower following Hiko's progress until the man was out of sight. He heard a door open, then Hiko murmuring in a low voice. Iruka's sleepy voice was easier to make out. Kakashi listened with one ear, half his attention on the absolutely silent hallway. Iruka was saying something about a hospital and a door, falling and getting lost. Kakashi had just decided this one-sided conversation made no sense when Hiko emerged, pulling a sleep drugged Iruka along behind him. Kakashi went over and shut Sasuke's door before Iruka was far enough to spot it.

He followed them to the kitchen, where Hiko pressed Iruka into one of the chairs and proceeded to turn the clock face down, and to turn off the light. The man stumbled in the dark. Kakashi shook his head and went over to guide Hiko back to the table.

"Why turn off the light if you can't see in the dark?" asked Kakashi.

"It has to be dark," frowned Hiko. "As dark as possible."

"But there's nothing to focus on," Iruka protested. He stared around blindly, looking concerned, but more out of it than anything. "And we have to be quiet, or we'll wake the boys..."

"I wouldn't worry about that," Kakashi said reassuringly. His devious smile was hidden in the dark. He should have known Sasuke wouldn't have left his door open if he were planning to get the drop on an intruder. All it had taken was one glance into the room to see that the window was open. Sasuke hadn't touched his door at all. If his guess was right, there weren't any boys in the house to worry about waking at the moment.

"What's going on?" asked Kakashi.

"I got a call," said Hiko, looking in his general direction. "A lot of wounded, and it seems the only one they have with healing talents is out of her mind. Or someone else is in her mind..." He gave a frustrated shrug. "I didn't get all the details, just that it's a mess. The sooner Iruka gets out there, the better."

Iruka was shaking his head. Hiko glared in his direction as if he could actually see the movement. "Not a word about hospitals," Hiko said quickly. "I told you, that's not an option. Bunchu's there. He'll cut you off if it's too much. Any help is better than none right now."

"Where is this?" asked Kakashi.

"He couldn't say over the phone," Hiko sighed. "Too far." He looked toward Iruka again. "They'll send someone to pick you up. All we need is a connection. The kid has never been here and he doesn't know any of us. Bunchu says he only has enough for one trip. He'll have to leave whoever he brings here if he's going to take you back with him."

"It's too dangerous," Iruka protested. "Bunchu can't show him the way because I'd need him there if I'm to be of any help. And Tenka...?"

"In no condition to move," Hiko glowered. "I know. That's where he comes in."

Kakashi froze as the two men turned to look at him. He was suddenly glad it was too dark for them to actually see where he was standing. "Me...?"

"You," Hiko frowned. "You must get around a lot. As soon as I mentioned your name, someone over there recognized it."

"Small world," Kakashi laughed weakly. He prayed it wasn't anyone he had slept with. That could make things extremely awkward.

"Yeah," Hiko murmured, as if he knew exactly what Kakashi was thinking. "Anyway, all we have to do is stay here and wait. As soon as the kid shows up, the person with him will move away. Iruka, you have to make contact as quickly as possible. He won't stay long. He probably won't be solid, either."

"What?" Iruka cried. He was too horrified to keep his voice down.

Hiko winced. "The kid is in no better shape than the rest of them. He'll be concentrating on making sure his passengers make the trip intact. Bunchu says it'll be easier on him if he doesn't go the entire way himself. So he won't actually be here, just enough to make contact and pull you back with him."

"What kind of talent is that?" Kakashi frowned. "Sounds too risky."

"Only for the kid," said Hiko.

"He's the one I'm worried about," Iruka said sharply. "What kind of situation are they in to risk-"

"Bunchu's there," Hiko said again. "Calm down. He's not gonna let the kid get lost. He's got him grounded. He'll bring him back safe. And I'll be around here to keep Naruto from tearing the place apart, so don't worry about that, either."

A quiet buzzing started in the room. Hiko pulled a cell phone out of the same pocket he had placed his keys earlier. He scowled and fumbled with it as if the cell phone were something distasteful. Then he was describing the dimensions of the kitchen to the person on the other end, notably the bare wall opposite the door that was barely illuminated by the phone. He prodded Iruka out of his chair, pushing him so he stood a few feet from that empty spot. Then he shut the phone and looked around.

"Kakashi," he said quickly, not knowing where to look. "If you can see, stand on the other side so you can grab the guy he brings. We have to replace your friend with Iruka quick or the kid will end up taking your friend right back with him."

"Got it," Kakashi sighed. It had finally registered. Iruka was leaving. Someone he knew, possibly a former one night stand, was taking his place. That just wasn't fair.

Kakashi was the only one who saw what happened next. There was a waft of cool air, scented with a vague cellar smell and enough fresh blood to make him grimace. A black-haired kid appeared out of nowhere, crouching on the floor in that open space. Kakashi could see through him as if he were made of vapor. The kid dropped something without lifting his head, something small that didn't become solid until it hit the floor. It scampered away before Kakashi could get a good look at it. Then Hiko gave Iruka a push and he stumbled forward, falling right at the boy. For a second, Kakashi wondered if Iruka would go right through the crouching figure. But the moment one of his outstretched hands made contact they both disappeared.

Kakashi blinked at how quickly it had happened. Hiko stumbled over and turned on the light. Something soft brushed Kakashi's leg. Kakashi scowled, his gaze dropping to the floor. Sure enough, a furry brown face was grinning back up at him.

"Pakkun," Kakashi muttered. "I should have known."

"Nice to see you, too," the dog said mockingly. He turned his thick neck to look at the bug-eyed man gaping at him from across the room. He sniffed and lifted his pug head as high as possible. "Don't stare at the talking dog. Get him something to eat before he makes a chew toy out of you. He's had a long trip, you know."

Hiko closed his mouth slowly. He sent a disgruntled look at Kakashi. "Naruto's not going to like this."

The man turned to watch the kitchen door warily, as if he expected Naruto to come charging in. Kakashi decided now was a good time to tattle. "Speaking of the boys, I wonder where they snuck off to..."

.-.

Sasuke hadn't been able to sleep. Iruka had ordered them back out and hosed them off before allowing them into the house. He had then separated them, sending Sasuke to use a small bathroom on the first floor while Naruto was marched upstairs. If that weren't humiliating enough - and the hosing had certainly been humiliating - Kakashi had been waiting for him with a change of clothes that most definitely were not his. The pervert had been far too amused, making all sorts of disgusting insinuating comments about exactly what he and Naruto had been doing to get so slippery. Then there was dinner, a silent affair in which Iruka frowned at the two of them, and Kakashi smirked every time Sasuke glanced up. The worst part of it was that Iruka had only raised his voice once, when he had first spotted them dripping mud on the floor. The silent disapproval was much worse than being yelled at. He was sickly amazed when Naruto had flashed him a wink on their way to bed, as if he weren't at all ashamed of himself. Did Naruto get into trouble so often that this was something he could shrug off with a guilty smile? Just the thought of that was disturbing.

He ended up sitting at the desk in his room for hours, studying his notebook to keep from thinking about anything else. It was a small book, half filled with tense notes of all the mutants he had encountered. The first half of the book was filled with the ones who had attacked him. Those were marked by dates because while Itachi liked to throw him off once in a while, he was more regular than not. Once he had started traveling with Kakashi, those descriptions became mixed with random encounters. Some were mutants they had spotted but hadn't gotten close enough to copy, or even talk to. The difference between the first half and the second was blatant. Itachi had sent him mutants with specific talents he expected Sasuke to copy, talents that were inevitably deadly if used on anyone. The ones Kakashi had stalked ranged from pointless to harmless, only a few of them being in any way useful in a fight. It made him wonder where Itachi found the mutants he sent after him. Itachi rarely left Japan, but he seemed to have an unending supply of dangerous psychopaths at his disposal.

Sasuke added sections for Iruka and Naruto. He didn't think he would be able to copy Iruka's healing talent any more than he could Naruto's strength. They were the wrong type of talents. He had learned that the elemental ones, electricity, fire, could be copied but not replicated fully. His own fire usage wasn't anywhere near as powerful as the man he had gotten it from. He could start a fire with his energy, but he couldn't stop a fire that already existed. He could turn his energy into electrical currents, but he couldn't manipulate electricity that he hadn't generated himself. He suspected it was the same reason he couldn't copy mindreaders - those mutants didn't have 'talents', they had a unique type of energy. He flipped back to the section on Kakashi. His was another of those unique energy types. Kakashi could copy things Sasuke couldn't, because his energy was inherently adaptive. On the other hand, Kakashi couldn't copy 'talents' without copying the energy. He hadn't gotten one of Sasuke's individual talents, he had gotten the sharingan itself. Sasuke suspected that was why Kakashi was so selective and careful about stalking his targets before attempting to copy them. He was copying the whole or nothing at all. Sasuke copied parts but not the whole. And yet there was an exception. The last mutant they had encountered. That man had a mess of talents. All it took was a single look at his energy with the sharingan and it was obvious he had as many talents as Kakashi, if not more. Yet Kakashi had only gotten the one skill that man had allowed him to copy. Sasuke still didn't know how to incorporate that exception into the rest of his notes.

It was a small noise that distracted him. Someone scratching on the outside of his window. Sasuke was immediately aware of the fact that he was on the second floor with no trees anywhere near the side of the house. And he had never heard of a mutant who could fly. He turned slowly, groggily, as if he were swimming through something thick and heavy. It was that sensation he had felt in the rain earlier multiplied by a thousand. He felt the sharingan spin, but from a distance, as if it were happening to someone else. Then he stepped on something that bit into his foot and he realized he was outside, barefoot, in the fields, and he couldn't remember opening his window, let alone leaving the house.

He wasn't dreaming. He couldn't feel the ground, the grass, the air around him, but he could feel that cut on his foot. It stung with every step he took. That was real. Whatever was dulling his senses, muddling his thoughts and controlling his actions couldn't block out that little sting of pain. He had stepped on something that was still embedded in his skin, twisting a little deeper each time he put his weight down on it. He focused on that sensation, a slow anger rising up until the numbing weight started to ease. Someone was doing this to him. He would break it. Then he would kill the person responsible.

"You're so violent," a sweet voice murmured. "I like that."

The weight was gone so suddenly Sasuke reeled. His eyes snapped up and locked on a figure sitting a few yards away. It was a teenager, modestly dressed, with short sandy brown hair falling around his face. He was smiling with his chin propped on one hand, face towards Sasuke as if he could see him with his eyes closed. Sasuke took one tense step toward him and that weight returned, not as disorienting this time, but just as heavy.

"Don't attack me," the boy smiled. "I don't mean any harm. I just want to...talk to you. I had intended to do it earlier, if your young friend hadn't shown up."

"The house," Sasuke said. He was alarmed by how calm his voice sounded. He had intended it to come out sharp and furious. Instead it sounded as careless and fluid as the boy's.

"Mm, the house." The boy stood gracefully and approached, still holding his pretty smile. "I can't help but be drawn to places like that. Must be the sadist in me." He gave a soft laugh that was far too sweet. He paused a few steps away. "I am sweet," he said, as if he had read Sasuke's thoughts. "I can be very sweet when I want to be."

"Who are you?" asked Sasuke. He couldn't move. He could feel the sharingan focusing, but his vision remained hazy and vague. The only thing clearly visible was the strange boy. The field and sky were shadows in the distance. This wasn't Itachi. He was sure of it. This had absolutely nothing to do with Itachi.

"I don't know that name," the boy smiled, and this time Sasuke was sure he had read his mind. "You don't need mine, either. I won't be here long. And I'll let you forget me if you like, after I've gone."

Sasuke forced his mind to go blank. Anything he thought could be used against him. But that didn't matter, did it? He couldn't move. Panic was starting to creep in. He kept it at bay with a healthy surge of frustrated anger, wishing he could make his calm voice reflect the emotion he was feeling. "What do you want?"

The boy's smile widened. Then he opened his eyes.

Sasuke was falling. He felt as if the ground had dropped out from under him. He didn't even have that stinging pain to keep him grounded. Those eyes were too blue. Naruto's eyes were blue. He tried to hold onto that thought, but he couldn't because this was a different type of blue. This was like being trapped against a cement wall while Itachi leaned over him with the sharingan widening until he thought it was going to swallow him whole. Terrifying, dangerous, empty but full of all the bad things in the world rolled into a nauseating ball. It felt as if his insides were rotting away and all he could do was keep swallowing it back down.

The overwhelming panic was gone as suddenly as it had come. Everything was dark, but he could feel why now. There was a light hand over his eyes, holding them gently closed. He was kneeling on the ground. He could feel the grass on his legs, damp and cold. And there was an arm around his shoulders, that soft voice murmuring into his ear.

"It's okay, calm down, don't be afraid," the boy whispered. "I won't hurt you. Why would I want to? Shh..."

"Stop it," Sasuke growled. He was relieved to find that his voice came out as disgusted and furious as he meant it to.

"Ah, sorry," the boy said, with a soft self-depreciating laugh. "I'm not as good with emotions as I am actions. I didn't realize I would remind you of him. Are we so alike? Or does he rule your life and thoughts so much you can't experience anything without his presence intruding? I don't know what he is to you. Even now, all I can see is the name...and the eyes. You have the same eyes..."

"What do you want?" asked Sasuke. He could feel everything now, but he still couldn't move. He couldn't even see. "Let go of my eyes."

The hand lifted, brushing his bangs back as it went. Those deep blue eyes were as powerful as before, but not as painfully disturbing to look at this time. The boy was still far too close to him. Touching him, even. Sasuke felt himself grimace. Every part of him was struggling to lash out and he couldn't move anything but his face.

"I could rape you."

Sasuke blinked. The boy was giving him a teasing smile, watching him closely to judge his reaction. That smile faded when Sasuke gave a disgusted snort. He had spent far too much time with Kakashi for comments like that to disturb him. If that was the only thing the boy had in mind, he certainly had the power to do it. And if he left him alive, he would kill him painfully. There wouldn't be enough of him left to identify the body. What a stupid thing to die for.

"So that's why," the boy sighed. He pulled back and sat in the grass a polite distance away. His eyes closed in a sad smile. "I wondered. You seemed so unaware when I saw you earlier. Even the most powerful talents can be rendered useless if you encounter someone with an ability like mine. Yet you weren't at all afraid. You honestly don't care..."

"What do you want?" Sasuke repeated. "Really."

"Company. Answers?" The boy flashed a whimsical smile that didn't show a hint of those eyes. "I was curious about you. I could take away your pain. Those nightmares you have that you can't remember, that you don't want to remember...I could take them all away. I'd keep them for myself. I don't mind. That's the masochist in me mostly, but I also like to help. In exchange for keeping me company...?"

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. He knew what this was now. This was Kakashi. A young pretty Kakashi tormenting others out of pure boredom. Was this what happened when mutants had too much power, childishness, and free time on their hands? He could understand how some of them would turn psychotic and power hungry, but this was...ridiculous. Why did he keep running into mutants like this?

"It must be karma," the boy smirked playfully. "Or maybe it was simple bad luck that I saw you instead of this Kakashi of yours."

Definitely bad luck, Sasuke decided. He glowered at the boy. "He's back at the house if you're that bored." And knowing Kakashi, he would be all over someone as clearly bored and perverted as himself. A match made in heaven. Assuming Kakashi didn't mind someone who appeared to be Sasuke's age. The pervert made so many comments Sasuke couldn't help but wonder about him.

"Oh, I'm not quite as desperate as you think." The boy opened his eyes in a glittering smile. "Even if I were, I don't associate with pedophiles. I prefer company closer to my own age." He crawled closer as he spoke, until Sasuke couldn't see anything but those eyes. "People like you...and your friend."

Naruto? He didn't know why the thought of that disturbed him so much, but it did. Maybe because Naruto seemed so normal, young and carefree, as if he belonged to a completely different world where the most important worry he had was whether the grass would be dry enough tomorrow for them to mow as punishment for playing in the mud. Naruto, who had never fought a mutant before him, let alone a sadist intent on causing as much humiliation and pain as possible shy of killing him. That was as disturbing as the idea of someone attacking Iruka. Even Itachi didn't sink to involving innocent bystanders.

He didn't realize he was being kissed until he felt the damp grass at his back and even then, he didn't pay attention to it. His senses and thoughts were too distant. There were too many rogue mutants. Itachi kept his on a tight leash. They followed his rules. No involving bystanders, no killing him, no molesting him. The last rule had only been broken once, but Sasuke remembered it more clearly than most of the fights he had lost. The man had kissed him on the mouth and touched him. It was stupid and Sasuke had been too tired to care. Then Itachi was there and that had gotten his attention much better than his attacker's fumbled groping. If he had ever needed proof that Itachi was powerful, it was in the way that man had cowered in abject terror. The same man who had taken him down in a matter of seconds, sobbing and shaking at Itachi's feet. But he didn't want to think about that, what Itachi had done to that man, because even though he was going to kill the stupid boy who was taking advantage of him, he had no intention of dismembering him. That wasn't the point. The point was there were too many mutants no one had control over. It was pure chance this one had focused on him instead of Naruto. Or Iruka. What if this boy had come to live in the house? No one would know his true intentions until it was too late.

Sasuke came back slowly. A hand was gripping his shoulder so tightly he thought the bone might break. Like the sting in his foot, the sensation grounded him enough to swim his way back. His eyes were open. He focused on that, felt the sharingan spin once, twice, and then he was staring into vivid eyes. Vivid red eyes inches above his own. He made a startled sound when he realized who was kissing him. The sound was echoed a second later as those eyes faded to blue and Naruto reeled away in what appeared to be shock.

"You kissed me!" Naruto blurted. He had scooted back a few feet and was holding a hand over his mouth. His expression was too bewildered to be fake.

Sasuke pushed himself up with an equally confused, and slightly annoyed, expression on his own face. "Me? I wasn't doing anything, but-"

He cut himself off, his thoughts once more flying at their usual rapid speed. He was still in the field, just where he had been when the strange boy had approached him. But there was no sign of him now, not even an energy signature where he had been. Sasuke climbed to his feet, wincing once when he felt that thing twist in his left foot. He lifted the foot and plucked out a thin sliver of rock. Then he went back to looking at the damp grass around him. There were footprints. Familiar ones. Too light for the shoe size. And just like the ones in the mud, they disappeared without any sign of where the person had gone. Only he knew where the boy had gone, didn't he? He had scratched at his second floor window to get him outside. That was where he had gone, straight up.

Sasuke let out a frustrated breath. He would kill him if he saw him again. Not for kissing him, that was nothing. He would kill him for getting Naruto involved in his bored little game. Fucking bored multi-talented perverts. Even the young ones were out to get him.

"Oi, usuratonkachi," Sasuke muttered, glancing sullenly at Naruto, who was still sitting in the grass with that hand over his mouth. Wide confused blue eyes flicked up at him. "Do you know how you got out here?"

"Of course I do," Naruto said quickly, a scowl replacing that bewildered look. "I walked. Obviously." He glanced around him and rubbed that hand over his mouth again. "And don't call me that."

"Did you see anyone else?" asked Sasuke.

Naruto blinked slowly, surprise creeping over his face. "I don't remember," he murmured. His eyes widened in disbelief. "I don't remember at all! Not even why I came out here. What was I thinking? And..." He blushed and shot Sasuke defensive scowl, "Why were we kissing?"

"Some bored mutant's sick idea of a joke," Sasuke sneered. "If he shows his face around here again, I'll kill him. But I don't think he will. Forget it."

"Easy for you to say," Naruto mumbled, too quietly for Sasuke to hear him. He was more alarmed than he wanted to let on. Kyuubi hadn't answered him at first. The moment he realized he was actually kissing someone, Sasuke in particular, he had sent a frantic accusation at the fox. He had naturally assumed the jerk had taken over while he was asleep. But Kyuubi hadn't answered. It was as if he hadn't even been there. The sensation only lasted for a moment. A moment was long enough. Naruto hadn't been alone in his mind for a long time and that one moment of absolute silence had terrified him.

'I tried answering,' Kyuubi assured him. 'You couldn't hear me. I could barely see what you were doing. Someone else was in here, blocking us. I tried to chase him out, but it was like chasing smoke. I couldn't do anything.'

'Bored mutant...' Naruto said faintly, starting off across the field. Sasuke was already way ahead of him. 'Someone made me come out here? And you couldn't do anything.'

Kyuubi muttered in annoyance. 'Nothing at all. Expect watch and wait.' A tinge of amusement started at that. 'It wasn't a bad show.'

'That's not funny,' sighed Naruto. Except it was funny, if he ignored the idea that a stranger had been controlling him and Kyuubi hadn't been able to do a thing to stop him. 'Was I really the one doing the kissing?'

'Physically,' Kyuubi sniffed. 'Technically someone else was making you do it.'

'But Sasuke wasn't participating, right?'

'No,' Kyuubi sighed, glowering a little as if he were personally insulted. 'I think he was asleep. He woke up a few seconds before you did. It's a good thing, too, because that kiss was pathetic. There wasn't even tongue.'

'Then it doesn't count,' Naruto said firmly. 'My first kiss will be because I wanted to do it.'

'You did want to do it,' Kyuubi pointed out.

'Not while he's asleep,' Naruto glowered. 'That's just wrong. And speaking of wrong, why isn't he as freaked out as I was?'

'Because it wasn't his first kiss.'

Naruto stopped walking. 'Why would you say that?'

'Intuition,' said Kyuubi. 'Worry about that later. Hiko was at the house when you did your little sleepwalking escape. We should get back quickly. I don't think Iruka is there anymore.'

"What!" Naruto blurted. Loudly. Sasuke stopped in his tracks halfway up the next hill and turned to look back at him. Naruto closed his mouth with a frustrated blush. Then he broke into a run.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Kakashi started a pot of coffee while Hiko fried up some hamburger for the dog. As usual, Pakkun was taking advantage of the situation, sitting on the table as if he were an important guest in the house instead of an uninvited stray. Kakashi was used to that. Pakkun had done the same thing to him the first time they had met. He had run across the mutt quite a few times since then. At first Pakkun had stuck to his story about being a mutant who had accidentally turned himself into 'dog form' and gotten stuck that way. Kakashi hadn't believed it for a moment. Pakkun didn't just look like a dog, he acted like one, too. He panted, drooled, scratched himself, sniffed butts, and had a bad habit of shedding and leaving muddy paw prints everywhere he went. No, Kakashi had known within a few minutes of meeting him that Pakkun was a dog. He was just a dog who happened to be as intelligent and capable of speech as any human, with a few mutant talents and a bold muddy green energy signal to boot. He was also a dog on a mission. Kakashi wondered about that when he went back to the table.

"Did you ever find that cat?" asked Kakashi.

Pakkun looked up from his plate of ground meat. Leave it to Kakashi to interrupt a free meal. "Would I be here if I had?"

"Probably not," Kakashi sighed.

He knew the reason Pakkun traveled so much was because he was looking for another animal-pet-mutant-thing like himself. A black cat. That was the most Pakkun would ever tell him, that the mutant who had turned him from an average puppy into a talking mutant dog had done the same thing to a kitten once. A kitten he had never seen again but knew was still alive somewhere. Why Pakkun was so dedicated to searching for the cat was one of those details the mutt wouldn't expand upon. Kakashi suspected the dog was partial to the mutant who had turned him, so loyal and defensive that it was a touchy subject. Kakashi respected that. He didn't exactly support bestiality, but, hey, love was love. For all he knew, a mutant capable of turning a dog into a mutant could turn a mutant dog into a human. He had seen weirder things over the years.

"Nah," Pakkun sniffed, "just some puppy. Not the brightest, but a lot smarter than most of the mutts I've met. He was howling his fool head off so I had to listen to him just to shut him up. He got separated from his owner. The pup tried getting help, only no one believes in Lassie anymore. You know me, I had to stick my nose in it."

"In what, exactly," prodded Kakashi.

"Yeah," seconded Hiko. "All I got was some emergency, lots of wounded, and too much danger to talk about it over the phone."

"Mm, it's a mess," said Pakkun. He huffed sadly at his empty plate and settled on his heels so he could eyeball the men better. "The owner got taken by some military group. I got in to where they were holding him, really ugly place, way too many guards for me to do any good. Had to get some help. So I popped over to visit an old friend. I figured if the kid had been in there for a few days a couple more wouldn't matter much."

"What kind of military group?" asked Hiko. His expression was wary.

Pakkun scrunched his face up. "How would I know? Some research place in Vermont, lots of lab rats in gray cages. They're all the same, you know."

Kakashi knew exactly what he was talking about. He had avoided those places the same as he had the mental wards - no Samaritan rescues for him. That was a good way to get oneself killed and he planned to live a long life of selfish entertainment, thank you very much. "Vermont," he murmured thoughtfully. "So that's where Iruka went? The states?"

"Yep," said Pakkun. "I popped back to wait for backup with the pup, keep him out of trouble, you know." He sniffed at Hiko. "That's when your mate showed up. Your kid was one of the rats. The big guy didn't want to wait, even though I told him I had help coming. He didn't even bother sneaking in. Crazy fuck just knocked the door down and went right on in. Had the whole place crawling by the time Fay got there. Then he didn't wanna trust him." He gave a wry snort. "Can't really blame him for that after seeing the guy Fay brought with him. Anyhow, your kid wouldn't leave without getting the rest of the rats out, too. Then some freak showed up and started blowing the place apart. Biggest mess I ever seen. He took out three of the kids, half his own people - assuming he was on the same side as the guards. The place was coming down around our ears by the time he finally nabbed one of the kids and took off. We had to dig our way out."

Hiko had his head in his hands, a pained expression on his face. Kakashi shot him a worried look and then dismissed him for the moment. He didn't know any of the people Pakkun was talking about so the story didn't mean much to him. What he really wanted to know was where the escapees were hiding out now. If they were desperate enough to send an injured kid to pick Iruka up, it didn't sound like they had found a very safe place.

"So they're all in a basement now?" asked Kakashi. He knew what he had smelled, the bloody kid had definitely come from some place cold and damp. An uninhabited hiding place for sure, but not exactly a good place to put injured kids. And Iruka was the only healer they had been able to get? "Any chance someone will find them there?"

"It should be safe enough," said Pakkun. "Between his mate," he nodded at Hiko, "and Fay, they got everyone in the neighborhood convinced they didn't see a thing. The big guy says he can hold it for a few days till the worst of the kids is healed enough to relocate."

"How did they convince the neighborhood?" asked Kakashi. He shot a look at Hiko, remembering what Iruka had told him about the man's boyfriend and his talents. Hiko looked too depressed and tired to ask right now.

Pakkun stared at Kakashi for a long minute. Then he turned his head a little, giving his best impression of a sneer. "You should know. I went to get Fay a little over a week ago. He still smelled like you." His upper lip curled some more. "You must have copied one of his talents if you got close enough for me to smell you over that mate of his."

"Wait, wait," Kakashi said quickly, waving his hands. Hiko had lifted his head high enough to give him a suspicious glare. At this rate he would be set against him by the time Iruka came back. Just great. He shot a confused look at Pakkun. "Are you talking about the blonde guy in Russia?"

"Of course," Pakkun snorted. "Let me guess, you didn't even bother to get his name. You have a bad habit of messing with mutants better off left alone."

"He touched me," Kakashi scowled. "It was just a friendly encounter." No way he would admit that kiss was also a recent sexual milestone. That would be bad for his ego and bad for his reputation, if Hiko's continued stare said anything. "It's not like I did anything with him. But how do you know so much about him? I didn't get the impression he stuck in one place very long."

Now it was Pakkun's turn to look uncomfortable. He rocked his shoulders and looked everywhere except at Kakashi. "He's an old friend, is all."

Kakashi blinked slowly at the dog, realization dawning over his face. He abruptly grinned and reached over to poke the wrinkled mutt in the side. "You have a crush on him!"

"Shut up," Pakkun snapped, literally, almost taking a few fingers off with his sharp little teeth.

"What are you two talking about?" Hiko frowned.

"The guy Pakkun here tracked down to help in the great escape," smiled Kakashi. "It turns out he's a mutual acquaintance."

"In Russia?" asked Hiko. He shot a confused look between the two of them, eventually settling on Pakkun. "Why did you go that far away to get help? It's no wonder Bunchu didn't wait for backup..."

"Oh, no," Kakashi waved. "Pakkun can travel to a person in a few seconds. He can't bring anyone with him like that kid did, but he can move himself just about anywhere. That's the only useful talent he has."

Pakkun sniffed at the way Hiko gaped at him. "Yeah," the dog muttered, "I'm a little more than your average talking dog. Don't freak out and swallow your tongue. It's not as amazing as it sounds."

"Are you planning to pop back over there when you're done filling us in?" asked Kakashi.

"Nah," Pakkun sniffed. "Not unless you got a message you want to send. They'll call when they're ready to send that healer back over here."

"His name is Iruka," said Kakashi.

Pakkun gave him a knowing look. "Whatever you say, boss."

Kakashi quickly changed the subject, turning a curious gaze on Hiko. "Does Iruka always take off on a moment's notice? For problems like this?"

"No," sighed Hiko. "Not since he adopted Naruto, anyway. Tenka doesn't get into as much trouble as he used to. Even if he did, he wouldn't drag Iruka into it. He wouldn't call anyone. That's why I have to send Bunchu after him." He sent a harried look at Pakkun. "How many died because of his actions?"

"Ah, well, I wouldn't blame your kid too much," said Pakkun. "He was pretty out of it by the time your mate showed up. Most of the casualties were due to that psycho blowing the place up. And it's not like the lab coats would have kept them alive if we hadn't busted them out. Kids don't last long in places like that, you know. Total count? Three of the kids on the way out, the one the psycho took with him, and there's one we're not sure about. Fay snuck him out a few days ago, looking for a hospital too full to notice and report him. We haven't heard from them yet. The rest should be okay now that they got a healer. We got supplies enough, but some of that stuff the coats did to them isn't healing like it should. It's a mess."

Hiko shook his head, "Why did Bunchu wait so long to call me?"

"Didn't want you to worry," Pakkun sniffed. "Even if he had called you right away and you flew out there, you would have been stopped at the airport. The whole town's crawling. This way's better. We had to wait for-" He closed his mouth, sniffing at the air and blinking slightly beady eyes at the door. He promptly shot a doggy grin at Kakashi. "Still dragging the kid around with you, eh? You've got it bad."

Naruto crashed into the kitchen, all panting breath, tousled appearance, and rose madder red-blue eyes. Sasuke was much calmer, leaning casually in the doorway, sharingan taking in everything in the room.

"Where is he?" Naruto demanded. "What happened? Why-" He blinked and gave an odd twitch when he caught sight of Pakkun. "What's that doing here...?"

Pakkun bristled, a quietly insulted growl starting in his throat. How rude. He glowered at the blonde boy for a moment, then hopped to the floor. Sasuke raised an eyebrow at him, not looking the least bit surprised to see him. "Kid," Pakkun greeted, sitting at Sasuke's feet, "you got really bad taste in men."

Naruto sputtered, gaping from the talking dog to Sasuke, to Kakashi to Hiko, and finally giving a frustrated cry of confusion. "What the hell's going on!"

Hiko quickly caught hold of Naruto's shoulders and pressed him down in one of the chairs. "Calm down and we'll explain. No talking till we're done, got it?"

Naruto sent one more uncomfortable look at the dog and then folded his arms. "Make it quick," he muttered. "Iruka-sensei better be all right."

"I'm sure he is," Hiko sighed. He resumed his seat and gave Naruto an edited version of the story. By the time he was finished, Naruto's eyes were as blue as ever. Now he looked more unhappy and nervous than furious and scared. Once again Hiko wished his own son was half as protective and dependent toward him as Naruto was toward Iruka.

Naruto frowned at the table in front of him, doing his best not to throw another fit. He didn't want Iruka to be gone for days. But that was sort of expected, wasn't it? That was Iruka, saving the world one kid at a time. He should have been resigned to it. And they had been in a really big hurry so it wasn't like Iruka had willingly gone off without saying anything to him. If he hadn't been lured off by that mutant in his head, Kyuubi would have woken him up and Iruka wouldn't have gone without saying goodbye. That meant it was at least partly his own fault, anyway, right? And it wasn't like Iruka was in danger or anything. Iruka used to live with Hiko's family, so he was with friends right now. There wasn't anything to panic about, really.

'You're allowed to panic and overreact,' Kyuubi murmured, humoring him in a tone so sympathetic he might as well have patted Naruto on the head. 'You came home to find Iruka gone who knows where and a dog on the kitchen table. Anyone would freak out.'

'You're the one who freaked over the dog,' Naruto muttered sullenly. 'I was surprised to see him on the table, but I don't have a problem with dogs, even ones that talk. That's kinda cool, really.'

'It's inherently wrong,' stated Kyuubi. 'Dogs are not supposed to talk. And they absolutely are not supposed to come into my house without permission. Get rid of it. Tell Hiko to take it home with him.'

'Now who's overreacting?' asked Naruto. A wan smile started as he listened to Kyuubi fume. His fox's territorial side was too endearing to ignore. 'He's just a little dog. And he's a friend of Sasuke and the pervert. We can't just run him off. Besides, he talks, so he's more like a person than a real dog.'

A mug was placed on the table in front of him, full of steaming light brown liquid. Naruto looked up in surprise, just in time to see Sasuke sit with a mug of his own. He gaped at him for a second, but Sasuke's attention was locked on Hiko. He dropped his eyes back to the drink.

'You've been shivering since you sat down,' Kyuubi explained, in an amused tone. 'Panicking. He probably thought you were cold. You're covered in goosebumps.'

Naruto grimaced at the blush that rose to his face. Suddenly he was glad Sasuke was making a show of ignoring him. 'It was cold outside,' he glared at the smirking fox. 'Normal people get cold when they go running around in wet fields in the middle of the night. I was not panicking.' He took his hands off the table and rubbed the goosebumps as inconspicuously as possible, willing the embarrassing signs away.

'Like I said,' Kyuubi drawled, 'you're allowed to panic. It's natural. Iruka has never gone away before so you had no warning. I doubt caffeine and sugar is a good remedy for nervous tremors, but it's the thought that counts. He's making a habit of taking care of you. It must be because you're such a cute little kid when you're trembling and missing your sensei.'

'Asshole,' muttered Naruto. 'If it's okay to panic, stop making fun of me. At least I didn't freak out over a puppy dog.' He took a tentative sip of the drink. Another wan smile broke out over his face when he realized what it was. 'Iruka would have a fit if he found out I was drinking coffee.'

'Better enjoy it before Hiko notices,' said Kyuubi. 'And don't feel too proud of yourself. He put cream and sugar in yours. He's drinking his black. Like a man.'

Naruto's smile faded into a glower. 'Do you have to spoil everything?'

'You make it too easy not to,' Kyuubi shrugged. 'At least you're not shivering anymore.'

Kakashi was engaged with staring at Sasuke. The brat hadn't looked at him yet, but it was only a matter of time. He supposed that since it was after midnight, that little action of his was Sasuke's 'social deed of the day' and nothing to make a fuss over. He still wondered what Iruka would say if he knew Naruto was now in danger of picking up Sasuke's bad habits. He shared a sly silent exchange with Pakkun, who was once more seated on the table where he could be eye level with everyone else. Then he raised the question Sasuke must have been waiting for since the kids came in.

"What were you two up to while we were having a minor crisis?" Kakashi asked, in an innocently curious tone. "It's not like you to miss the...action, Sasuke."

Sure enough, Sasuke gave a full body twitch. What Kakashi hadn't expected was for Naruto to flinch, shaking the entire table. Wide cornered blue eyes shot up, staring at him from a very red face. Kakashi's eye widened slowly.

"Now wait a second," Kakashi frowned, staring at the blatantly guilty looking blonde. "I know I told you to keep at him, but I didn't mean to jump him. You've only known each other for two days..."

"It wasn't like that!" Naruto blurted.

Sasuke snapped a blazing red eyed glare on Naruto, the very first hint of a blush rising to his otherwise livid white face, "Shut up."

"But...!" Naruto looked frantically from Sasuke to the pervert, and then to Hiko, who was starting to get an expression just as shocked and disapproving as the pervert. "But it wasn't like that," he said more quietly, peeking tentatively at Sasuke. "Right...?"

"Idiot," Sasuke grimaced. He shot a disgusted glare at Kakashi. "Nothing happened. Not that it's any of your business. A mutant of your ilk was passing by and decided to be annoying. It had nothing to do with anything, so it doesn't matter." He snapped his glare back to Naruto. "Right?"

"Yeah," Naruto frowned. He blinked at Sasuke for a moment as that blush faded. Then he glowered in annoyance. "That's what I was gonna say if you had let me finish. Don't tell me to shut up if you're just gonna say the same thing I was gonna say! The pervert's the one making it out like something it wasn't," and he turned his glare on Kakashi. "Nosy old pervert."

"Hmm," Kakashi frowned, his eye narrowing. A mutant of his ilk? Coming from Sasuke he could guess what that meant. Only if it were a mutant like him, he doubted nothing had happened. Especially if it had involved both boys. A mutant of his ilk drawing two boys away from the house in the middle of the night. Something bad enough to get a violent blushing reaction from Sasuke? Yes, he would have to keep an eye on them. While he highly approved of Sasuke finally getting laid, two days was rushing it. Even he didn't move that quickly.

Hiko broke the uncomfortable impasse by placing a heavy hand on a certain blonde's shoulder. "Naruto," he said quietly, "I'd like to speak with you for a moment."

"Erm, okay," Naruto paled and fidgeted.

"I'm going to bed," Sasuke muttered, pushing back from the table. He was out of the room before the two could reach the doorway, unwilling to be left alone with Kakashi and Pakkun.

.-.

Naruto was very tired by the time he trudged his way upstairs. Hiko could be worse than Iruka when it came to some things. Part of that was because Iruka couldn't say the word sex without blushing and stuttering horribly. Hiko had no such problem. Add the fact that Hiko actually had a boyfriend, and his lectures were considerably more...explicit. Naruto couldn't remember ever blushing as much as he had in the last hour.

'How many times do I have to get The Talk?' Naruto grumbled irritably. 'I'm not stupid. It's not like I don't pick things up at school.'

'This time The Talk was mostly for me,' Kyuubi sniffed, just as irritably. 'Why am I always to blame? I'm no more gay than you are. I'm bi, if anything. And you're in control of the body.'

'Well, technically neither of us was in control tonight,' sighed Naruto. 'Still, it was just a kiss. I don't need an entire lecture over it. It's that old pervert's fault. Now no one's gonna believe nothing happened.'

'It's pure luck nothing did happen,' Kyuubi muttered. 'I'll give him that much. If that mutant could control us enough to make us kiss, he could have made us do anything.'

Naruto scoffed, feeling just as pessimistic, 'Yeah, but a lecture isn't gonna help in that case, anyway.'

'I should have known that mutant was nearby before he got close enough to control us,' said Kyuubi. 'I didn't even smell him on Sasuke. Either the guy didn't touch him before we got there, or he didn't have a physical body to leave a scent. Either way, that won't happen again.'

'Really?' Naruto grumbled. 'How are you gonna stop it?'

'I'll think of something.'

'You do that,' sighed Naruto. 'I have to think of what to say to Iruka-sensei when he gets back and Hiko blabs on us. I can't believe he reacted like that. And I used to think he was cool. Shows what I know.'

He stopped by the bathroom long enough to wash his legs and feet off. That was at least one reason to be glad Iruka was gone - he hadn't thought twice about how grimy his bare feet were and he was bound to have left some prints on the floor during his rush inside. Not to mention the way Iruka would have reacted to his and Sasuke's little post-midnight excursion. He shot a gloomy look at Sasuke's door on his way to his room. They had been getting along so well and now this. Sasuke hadn't blamed him for the kiss, he hadn't even cared, he had even gotten him a drink earlier. And then that nosy old pervert had to go and spoil everything. Well, there was another reason to be glad Iruka wouldn't be back for a few days. He would have plenty of time for payback.

The first thing Naruto noticed when he entered his room was that his window was open. The second thing was the little red and white envelope sitting on his bed. He stopped just inside the door and looked around warily. Kyuubi was doing his coon hound impression, nose to the air and all but howling for attention.

'What?' Naruto demanded. 'I don't speak coon hound.'

'Moron,' Kyuubi growled. 'I have his scent now. He must have come in here while we were on our way back. We went out Sasuke's window earlier and that,' meaning the envelope, 'wasn't there. I could track him now.'

'Maybe,' Naruto sniffed. 'Is he still around here? I'm too tired to go chasing someone all over town. And what if he controls us again? You haven't figured out a way to block him yet, right? No point catching him if we can't touch him.'

Irritated silence answered this reasonable comment. Naruto rolled his eyes. It figured the only time he one-upped Kyuubi was when he was dead tired. He closed his window and plopped on the bed, picking up the envelope with a glare that was more exhausted annoyance than anything. What kind of mutant screwed with people's heads and then left them messages? Then again, Sasuke had compared the guy to Kakashi, so maybe it was just another old pervert. He could already imagine him giving that one-eyed leer and going 'thanks for the show!'

'Asshole,' thought Naruto.

He peeked inside the envelope and stopped. He closed it, eyeballed the familiar logo on the outside, and then peeked in again. Then he exploded.

'It was a frickin stalker! He must have been following us all day! He even had the nerve to develop the pictures at the mall here - what kinda stalker doesn't have his own dark room? Not just any stalker, oh, no, we had to get a perverted lazy stalker. How much you wanna bet that nosy ass at the PhotoBin saw these and told half the town already? Damn it! That's it, forget sleeping it off and forgetting it, we're gonna track this guy and kick his lazy perverted stalking ass right back wherever he came from. Lead the way, boy. I'm gonna kill him!'

'No,' Kyuubi growled sullenly, 'you were right before. He'd be able to control us before we could get close enough to lay a finger on him.'

'Damn it,' Naruto huffed, losing some of his steam. 'I can't believe this...'

He squirmed on his bed, pulling the stack of photos out of the envelope. The one on top would have been a great one if it had been taken by Iruka, or Hiko, or anyone but an unknown perverted stalker. It was a snapshot of him and Sasuke wrestling in the mud. A good shot, too, because it really captured Sasuke's horrified mud splattered face.

'He was in our yard,' Naruto moaned. 'Even if he had one of those stalker zoom cameras, he had to have been close and you didn't even sense him...'

Kyuubi just glowered darkly. There was nothing he could say in his defense.

The second photo was creepier than the first because Sasuke appeared to be staring right at the camera without actually seeing it. Naruto figured it must have been taken right before Sasuke went over to stare at the mud patch again, when they had been walking around in the trees and he had just realized he was being ignored. This one definitely hadn't been taken with a zoom. It was too close and clear, despite the drizzling rain.

'You think he was invisible?' Naruto wondered. He was starting to get the shivers again.

'Maybe,' Kyuubi muttered. If he was as disturbed as Naruto, he was keeping it to himself.

Naruto flipped quickly through the rest of the photos, not stopping on any one because each of them was perfectly taken and creepy as hell. There were only three more with him in them. One of him standing by the rock while Sasuke brooded, a strange high angled shot from behind of him opening Sasuke's umbrella for him, and one of him and Sasuke standing on the sidewalk outside the stone wall that surrounded the black windowed house. There were four pictures of Sasuke sitting alone on his rock, each one taken from a different angle. And seven of him standing in the rain outside that supposedly empty house. A few of these were taken from the other side of the stone wall, but one of them was a front shot as if the photographer had been standing in the middle of the street right in front of him.

'That one's almost pornographic,' Kyuubi said, without a trace of humor. 'You weren't the one being stalked.'

'And he said to forget about it,' Naruto shivered.

He quickly turned the photo over, setting it down on top of the others. Then he squinted. Something was written on the back, in cursive romaji, with a large fluid writing style and bright blue ink. He stumbled over the cursive and Kyuubi, despite his dislike of anything educational, read it for him.

'It says, "I'll send the rest to Uchiha-san when I get them developed. Thank you for the memories. No hard feelings. And don't worry about the boy at the PhotoBin, he won't remember ever having seen these." It's signed FS.'

'The bastard,' Naruto glared. 'No hard feelings? He was fucking stalking Sasuke - he made us kiss, and he says no hard feelings? And who the hell is Uchiha? He just outright tells me he's got more of these that he's gonna send to someone else, and no hard feelings? What the hell's wrong with this guy...?'

Kyuubi lashed his tails restlessly. 'Better not tell Sasuke about these. If this FS knew you'd worry about the boy at the PhotoBin, he must have done more than control us when he was in here with me. There's probably a reason he left these for us and not Sasuke.'

'Oh, sure,' Naruto scoffed. 'Let's not mention that the guy who was playing a 'joke' on us just happened to be following him around all day taking pictures. Let's just do what Sasuke said and forget about it. That's a great idea!'

'We won't forget,' Kyuubi said, being pointedly calm to Naruto's blatant uncalm. 'He didn't see this mutant when he was staring right at him. It won't do any good to tell him. He's twitchy enough as it is. I have the scent now. If he comes back, I'll know. And I'll be ready for him.'

Naruto shoved the envelope in the bottom drawer of his desk, burying it under a mess of notebooks and loose papers. He really, really hated it when Kyuubi was calm and rational. 'You have a week,' he warned. 'If you can't figure out a way to keep that guy from getting in our head again, I'm telling Sasuke. It might not make a difference, but at least he'll be warned.'

'I only need two days to build a cage,' Kyuubi sniffed.

'Cage?'

'Mm. A cage with a trap door. That should do the trick...'

Naruto's face twisted into a scowl. 'Am I supposed to know what you're talking about?'

'Not yet,' Kyuubi smirked. 'I'll give you a tour when I'm finished. Get a good night's sleep. Assuming the caffeine and sugar doesn't give you nightmares.'

'More like the creepy stalker and pornographic wet Sasuke photos,' Naruto grimaced. 'I swear, you roll me out of bed before noon and I'm going in there and tying your tails in a knot.'

'Mh,' Kyuubi purred. 'I hope you have pleasantly vivid dreams. I know I will.'

'Pervert.'

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Sasuke fully expected to sleep the day away. By the time he blanked his mind long enough to doze off, there was a warning throb behind his eyes. The sharingan didn't care that he hadn't used it intentionally or that using it had served absolutely no purpose. The fact remained that he had kept it activated for hours on end, fully dilated for at least one of those hours. He knew from experience that sleeping it off was his only chance of avoiding a very nasty morning after. So that was the plan. He hadn't expected his subconscious to join forces with the sharingan and conspire against him. Maybe he should have. The night's encounter had disturbed him more than he had been willing to admit, even to himself.

The dream wasn't that bad at first. It was like watching a silent movie through someone else's eyes, only he was vaguely aware that it wasn't a dream so much as a replay. He was looking out of his own eyes and seeing what he hadn't been able to focus on last night. While the rogue had kept his mind dark and distant, the sharingan had been working all out, recording everything it saw. And because his subconscious knew he was disturbed by the fogginess and confusion of the encounter, it was determined to have the sharingan play it all back to him in detail. The only difference from his normal sharingan-induced dreams was he actually felt aware of this one, knowing instinctively that he would still remember it when he woke up.

He saw his drop from the window as clearly as if he were reliving it. He had used that talent then, the same one he had been experimenting with before the muddy wrestling match with Naruto. He had done it easily, instinctively making himself so light that he all but floated to the ground. He had left no sign of impact on the damp ground and as long as he was barefoot he knew he could do it again, just as instinctively.

He saw the rogue's energy, a pale blue with veins of violet, floating around the boy in a smokey haze. And when those blue eyes opened, he saw that energy explode, momentarily blinding the sharingan as it flowed from the boy to him. He had absorbed it, inhaled it even, giving the boy complete access to his already vulnerable mind. He felt that rush of nauseating panic again, but distantly, because the sharingan was still recording what he had been too stricken to see.

Their energies were incompatible. Something had gone wrong. He felt his heart falter as he collapsed, and saw the boy rush to catch him with enough honest guilt and concern on his face that Sasuke knew he hadn't anticipated such a negative reaction. And he knew he would never have been able to copy the boy's talents, even if they had met under different circumstances. It would go wrong like it had when Kakashi had copied the sharingan, only in his case the results would be fatal.

He saw himself kneeling, for minutes on end. It was no wonder his eyes had ached so much. He had been out of it longer than he had realized, too far gone to even blink, and the sharingan had remained fully activated the entire time. For all his mind manipulation, the rogue hadn't been able to deactivate the sharingan. He had made Sasuke activate it for that light jump from the window, but he hadn't been able to turn it back off.

He saw the rogue's energy shift as the boy soothed away the harm he had inadvertently caused when he had opened his eyes. Then his sight was cut off as that hand slipped down over his eyes. And now he understood why the boy had done that. The boy couldn't manipulate him into turning off the sharingan, so he had blocked it manually. Sasuke felt a small touch of satisfaction at that; there was a limit to the boy's ability to control him, after all.

There was no sense of time passing before that hand moved away and he opened his eyes again. The sharingan was showing him what it had seen, and it hadn't seen anything while his vision was impaired. The boy's energy was different now, lighter, weaker. He watched him back away, hesitate for a moment, and then take to the sky. Sasuke's thoughts snagged at this. He clearly remembered talking to the boy after that, seeing him approach once more until those blue eyes sent his mind spiraling back into thoughts of rogues and Itachi. Now he found himself staring at the place where the boy had been, at a hazy energy silhouette with no substance whatsoever. It wasn't until Naruto entered his line of sight, walking slowly with dazed red eyes, that Sasuke understood.

He hadn't seen the rogue leave because his mind was still being manipulated. He had seen what the boy wanted him to see. So when Naruto approached him, he thought it was still the rogue. The sharingan saw what was really there, just Naruto surrounded by a tight sheen of his own ruddy orange energy and that overlapping lavender silhouette. And then his mind went distant, just like it had at the time, because being gently pushed to the ground by Naruto was no better than being pushed back by a stranger. In fact, it was even more humiliating. Besides, he already knew the rest of what had happened. He struggled to wake up, distracted by confusion and frustration over the rogue's actions - why had the boy kept him from realizing it was Naruto, why had he even used Naruto, why had he sufficed with a secondhand kiss when he had complete control over him, why hadn't he at least made him close his eyes so he wouldn't have to see it if he had known all about his sharingan induced dreams? Then he was drawn back, feeling the sharingan focus just as it had when he had finally regained control over his own mind again, and he was staring into vivid red eyes right above his own. Only this time those eyes weren't Naruto's.

Sasuke woke with a ragged gasp, knees drawn up, teeth clenched, his knife - the only weapon he had ever carried - raised so the blade was almost pressing his cheek. He let out a hissed curse and closed his eyes tight, hating the sharingan, Itachi, and mostly himself. Maybe the rogue was right and he really did have few experiences that didn't make him think of Itachi, but, damn it, he didn't want to see that. He hadn't thought of him when he had come to in that field. He had recognized Naruto instantly. The only thing he had thought when he saw those familiar red eyes was that Naruto's lips were soft. And what the hell was Naruto doing kissing him? Itachi had been the furthest thing from his mind, damn it. He leaned tighter over his knees; between the throbbing in his head and that fucking dream he knew he was going to be sick. He clenched his teeth so tightly his jaw ached nearly as much as his head. Not for the first time, he seriously considered gouging his eyes out. Everything would be so much simpler that way.

"Eh," a sleepy voice murmured. "I didn't know you had wet dreams about your brother. That's not healthy, you know."

Sasuke's head snapped up, the sharingan blazing to life and locking on the pudgy brown form curled at the foot of his bed. He stared for one horrified moment, his face absolutely white. Then he bared his teeth and lunged forward with the knife, with only one thing in mind. Decapitation.

.-.

Naruto was having a really bad morning. He had woken way too early, for one thing, with the desperate need to take a bath because the walls were way too thin to take care of his...problem...with Sasuke in the next room. No matter how much Kyuubi liked to call him a closet prude, Naruto considered himself pretty open minded for his age. He'd had a pervert in his head since puberty. A pervert with an imagination nearly as active and vivid as his own. Kyuubi was considerate enough to keep some of his dreams to himself, like the ones he'd had about Iruka which Naruto did not want to see, let alone participate in. And some of the more disgusting 'stalking' dreams Kyuubi had where he hunted and mutilated jerks like Sven in animalistic semi-bestiality fashion. Naruto was only aware of those because he had demanded an explanation when he occasionally woke up with the urgent need to vomit his guts out. The fox kept those disgusting fantasies to himself and Naruto invited the fox to share his own more upbeat and enjoyable dreams. So when they both had the same person in mind, their combined dreams were typically intense. Naruto still preferred to blame the pervert for putting the thoughts into his head in the first place. As far as Kyuubi was concerned, they should have been having sex at thirteen. The fox was a really bad influence on an already hormone ridden teenager and that was that.

Naturally, following the bath they were starving. That was Kyuubi's MO - sex followed by food. And since they weren't actually having sex yet, that meant twice as much food to make up for it. Naruto figured some of that was his own body telling him to feed it so he could finally get that growth spurt he had been working on for the last year. He could swear he had already grown an inch in the last few months, so he didn't really mind being constantly hungry. It was just easier to gripe at Kyuubi for his need to feed rather than go back to sleep. What Kyuubi really wanted was food he could hunt down and eat raw, and knowing that put a damper on Naruto's otherwise enthusiastic hunger.

He had swayed his way downstairs, trying to be quiet so he wouldn't wake Sasuke up again, and griping at his fox for being such a horny pig. Then he entered the kitchen to find an even bigger pervert sitting at the table. His mood went from bad to worse. He had forgotten Iruka wasn't home and now he was alone in the kitchen with a pervert who couldn't even cook him breakfast like a responsible adult. He was just glowering his way to the cabinet, hoping to find some microwavable oatmeal or something, when a poof sounded behind him.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow at the little dog who had appeared in a small poofing cloud of smoke. Pakkun skidded three feet before coming to a stop, his fur bunched around his shoulders and his beady eyes flying to Kakashi. If a dog could be pale, the mutt would have been ash white. Kakashi guessed the problem immediately. He was already in front of the kitchen door, sharingan uncovered, when Sasuke burst into the room. His eyes took in the livid uncontrolled fury, the knife, and the way Sasuke only had eyes for the terrified dog. He immediately darted forward to disarm him.

He grabbed the wrist with the knife, wrenching it behind Sasuke's back, and used the same talent he had been thinking of to soundproof the house. It was the only talent he knew of that was non-fatal but still powerful enough to knock Sasuke off his feet and keep him there. He had gotten it from a skittish man in Germany a few years back, the ability to make whatever he touched increase in density - or whoever he touched weigh so much that gravity alone would level the person. Sasuke went straight down. Kakashi followed, his disappointed gaze locked on that knife.

"I thought I told you to leave that in your room," Kakashi sighed.

Sasuke barely heard him, his red eyes locked on the cowering dog. The crushing weight had flattened him on his stomach, knocking the air out of his lungs, but he managed to gasp enough in to hiss out a livid, "I'm going to kill him!"

Kakashi looked up from the prone teenager, his expression exasperated and slightly annoyed. "Pakkun. What have I told you about sneaking into Sasuke's bed while he's asleep?"

"Don't do it," Pakkun mumbled, looking as guilty as a scared dog could look. "I was cold, is all. I didn't think he'd get so mad..."

Two growls started at that excuse. Kakashi had expected as much from Sasuke, but Naruto's reaction caught him by surprise. His eyes snapped over just in time to see the boy's eyes flash from blue to red, a thick orange energy flaring around him in a strange pattern that almost looked like a pointy eared cat. Then Sasuke moved under him, shoving himself up on one arm and snapping his head back so fast Kakashi barely managed to jerk back in time to keep his nose from being broken. He promptly focused back on the more dangerous teenager in the room and doubled the weight holding Sasuke down. His eyes widened when it took a few tense seconds before Sasuke's arm gave out.

"You've learned a new trick," Kakashi blinked in surprise. Something to counter the extra weight? Either that, or Sasuke had gotten a lot stronger since the last time he had been forced to use this talent against the impulsive brat. "I still want that knife. You'll get it back this evening."

Sasuke tightened his grip on the knife, using that crushing talent he had copied from Kakashi on their first meeting. The only way anyone would get that knife from his hand was by tearing his fingers off. He was vaguely aware of the fact that he had almost gotten free. Despite the disgusting ending of that dream, it had been useful. He had almost made himself light enough to counter the extra weight Kakashi was giving him. But that thought just made him even angrier. He hated this talent. Kakashi never used it when he was looking at him, so he couldn't even copy it. And the bastard knew how much he hated being immobilized like this. Suddenly he didn't know who he was more angry with, Kakashi or the dog. Since he couldn't turn his head enough to see Kakashi, he let the dog take the brunt of his glare. And so he had a clear view when Naruto suddenly pounced the mutt and Pakkun yiped and disappeared in a small cloud of his signature smoke.

Sasuke blinked, too surprised by what the sharingan saw to be angry that his prey had just escaped. Naruto's hands had curled into sharp nailed claws, one of which held a few strands of tan dog hair. His teeth were bared, showing the overly sharp points. And his energy was a thick roiling red, forming a distinct animal like outline, complete what might have been a tail. Furious red eyes snapped toward him, but higher. Naruto was looking at Kakashi, who, Sasuke realized, had almost managed to get his knife while he was distracted. He tightened his grip without a second thought.

"Get off," Naruto growled, his tone thick.

Kakashi spared the wild kid one semi-bored look. Now that Pakkun had made his escape, it was only a matter of minutes before Sasuke came to his senses. It was being woken up by a perceived threat that made him so dangerous. Although, usually Sasuke didn't react quite this badly. Pakkun must have said something stupid to make an already dangerous Sasuke into a deadly furious Sasuke. Dumb dog. He never learned.

"In a minute," Kakashi said to Naruto. "Sasuke's not thinking clearly at the moment. He's a little dangerous when he's half asleep."

He turned his attention back to Sasuke, wondering worriedly if he would have to increase the pressure on the brat to get him to let go. The talent wasn't deadly by itself, but too much weight could cause internal damage. It would be better to wait him out. The scent of fresh shampoo caught his nose and saved him from getting a hole punched in his face. Kakashi jumped back, his instincts once more taking over in the place of actual thought. Suddenly he wasn't so sure that Sasuke was the more dangerous teenager in the room. But even Naruto was still just an impulsive kid. Kakashi caught the boy's arm and repeated the exact thing he had done to disarm Sasuke, jerking the kid's arm behind his back and applying enough gravitational force to flatten the silly brat.

It didn't work. Kakashi's eyes widened, the sharingan dazed by the bold reddish orange energy so close to his face. Naruto's knees buckled for a moment and then that energy flared higher and the boy stayed on his feet. He had forgotten to take the kid's abnormal strength into account. Even with both hands and the extra weight, he could barely keep him still. And he had forgotten all about Sasuke. Kakashi's expression twisted into a grimace as he spotted the dark-haired boy climbing to his feet and turning to glare at him.

"Now, boys," Kakashi said quickly, with a very weak grin. "Two against one is hardly fair."

Sasuke gave a soft snort and flicked his wrist, tossing the knife at Kakashi's face. Kakashi released Naruto and jumped back, catching the blade before it could bury itself right between his eyes.

"Take it," Sasuke muttered. His eyes faded back to black and he stepped over to lean against the wall. He slid his way down until he was sitting on the floor, his head falling to his knees. "Go for a walk or something."

"Ah," Kakashi blinked. A slow smile came to his face as he watched Sasuke's shoulders slump, those eyes dimming until he looked like his typical 'dead on his feet in the morning' self. Naruto had calmed down, too, that energy of his fading out along with the red in his eyes. The blonde was looking between him and Sasuke in confusion. Kakashi waved a hand at him. "Try not to burn the house down, eh? I'll be back later."

"Sorry," Sasuke muttered, staring vacantly with his chin propped tiredly on his knees.

Kakashi's smile widened. It always got him how quickly Sasuke went from psychotic to cute when he was sleepy. He waved a dismissive hand, "Don't worry about it. I know you can't help it. And I will give this back tonight," he waved the knife in parting.

Naruto turned to watch the pervert leave the room. He was still feeling disoriented, all the recent adrenaline making him heady and hungrier than ever. He slowly turned to frown down at Sasuke. And he sent a slightly resentful glare in Kyuubi's direction. The fox merely sniffed.

'They deserved to be eviscerated,' Kyuubi said stubbornly. 'Both of them.'

'Maybe,' Naruto muttered. 'But at least give me some warning before you pull a stunt like that. I would have helped. You didn't have to take control like that.'

Kyuubi looked away, his tone just a tad apologetic. 'I didn't stop to think about it. It was instinct.'

'You and your pouncing,' sighed Naruto. 'Good thing that dog poofed out of here. I thought you were gonna eat him for a second there. You're both canines, you know. That would make you a cannibal.'

That managed to get a surprised reaction from the fox. Naruto left him to think about that for now. Sasuke looked completely out of it, small and tired, and he was a little wary about approaching him. He stopped two feet away and cleared his throat. "Um, you okay?"

"Fine."

He didn't sound fine. Naruto glowered at what he was starting to see as Sasuke's general dismissal. Burned his hand? Fine. Got crushed by what felt like the entire house falling on his back when the pervert did that weird talent thing on him? Fine. Yeah, that was definitely Sasuke's catch phrase. He dropped down to squat on the floor so they were at eye level. Sasuke's eyes were glazed, not really focused on anything, and the whites were lined with red veins as if he had been crying or suffering from an all nighter. It reminded him of Iruka first thing in the morning. His arms were wrapped loosely around his legs, and Naruto's eyes were drawn to the bruises that were already forming around his right wrist, the one that had had the death grip on the knife.

"That bastard...!"

Sasuke followed Naruto's outraged stare. He snorted softly when he realized what had set the boy off. "It's fine," he sighed. "I would have used it on him if he hadn't stopped me."

Naruto glowered at getting another 'fine', but gave a grudging nod. Sasuke had been a little...violent...when he had come bursting into the kitchen. "For protecting the dog?"

"For touching me," said Sasuke. He gave a vague frown at Naruto and started to push his way back to his feet. "Don't ever touch me when I'm half asleep."

"Oh," Naruto blinked. "Okay, sure." He stepped back, watching Sasuke lean against the wall as if he were about to fall asleep standing up. "Um, maybe you should go back to bed for a while."

"No," Sasuke said sharply, tensing, his eyes flashing red for a second. He forced the sharingan away. He wasn't about to risk having another dream as sick as the last one. No, he would much rather be awake and miserably tired than risk that. He shoved away from the wall and made his way over to the kitchen cabinets. "I'll make something for breakfast," he muttered. "You stay away from the stove."

Naruto bristled at the reminder of the last time they had been alone in the kitchen together. Honestly, he was too happy at the idea of breakfast to complain. But Sasuke still didn't have to be such a jerk about it. He stalked over and hopped onto a stool. And he frowned when Sasuke poured himself a cup of coffee before pulling out a skillet.

"Hey," said Naruto, "does that taste good black?"

"No."

Naruto's face twisted in confusion. What was the point if it didn't taste good? Then again, Iruka drank his black in the mornings, too. He got up with a determined expression on his face. "If you can drink it black, so can I."

Sasuke gave him one vague look, raising an eyebrow at the challenging tone. Then he turned back to the stove, intent on replicating the omelet Iruka had made the day before. "Do what you want."

"I will," Naruto sniffed. And when he settled back on his stool with a steaming cup of black coffee, and the first sip burned his tongue and made him grimace, he was very glad Sasuke wasn't looking at him. The stuff was nasty. If this was drinking it like a man, he would rather be a teenager. Kyuubi snickered in his head. Naruto glowered at the fox and went back to sipping the foul stuff while he waited for the food. At least Sasuke seemed to know his way around the kitchen. He had been half afraid he would end up starving or running across town to Hiko's before Iruka came back. Then he remembered why he was so hungry in the first place. He blushed and ducked his head, hiding behind the coffee cup and doubly glad Sasuke was too distracted to notice him staring. He had never had the subject of one of his fantasies right in front of him the morning after. He kinda liked it...

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Kakashi took a walk. He knew Sasuke's vague order translated into 'go away, if you're near me you'll say or do something stupid, because that's who you are, and I won't be held responsible for my reaction, so you'll die painfully, and I'll be in trouble for getting your blood stains on Iruka's kitchen floor, which would be a bad thing.' There might have been a little 'go away, you're bothering the blonde kid' in there, but Kakashi wasn't really sure.

Since he hadn't actually seen much of the town, his walk was a short direct one that ended on Caldina's doorstep. The bar slash dance club slash whatever the hell she called it was closed, but the door was propped open. He peeked in and got a quick invitation from a sober looking Hiko. Kakashi wasn't all that surprised to spot Pakkun sitting at the man's feet. The dog wouldn't have gone far, and Hiko was the only other person he knew in town. He followed them to one of the tables upstairs, where Caldina's bushy blonde bodyguard boyfriend served them hot brown drinks and then made himself scarce. Kakashi took one sip of his mug. Then he rounded on Pakkun. The dog had the decency to look abashed.

"I was asleep," Pakkun grumbled. "He had a bad dream and didn't see me when he woke up. Then he looked like he was gonna stab himself in the eyes with that knife of his and I had to say something."

"He wouldn't have done it," Kakashi waved. "He wakes up like that sometimes, it doesn't mean anything. He might be a masochist, but he's not suicidal." He sent a droll glare at the dog. "What did you say?"

Pakkun gave an embarrassed shoulder shift, "Nothing I should be repeating. Shouldn't have said it the first time, but like I said, I was asleep. I just said the first thing that came to mind and, yeah, I won't be saying that again." He turned his head to look a ruffed spot of fur on the middle of his back. "Damn fox almost got me. I wasn't counting on him, or I would have popped out of the house instead. That kid, he really has horrible taste in men..."

"Fox?" asked Kakashi. He thought about Naruto's claws and teeth, and that pointy eared energy signature. "Looked more like a cat to me."

"Yeah, well," Pakkun sniffed, "you're not a dog." He turned his head to look at Hiko. "I'm gonna pop back over to the others, got any messages?"

"Just find out how long they're going to keep Iruka," said Hiko. "And if you talk to him yourself, don't say anything about the kids that'll worry him."

"Got it," said Pakkun. He didn't bother to ask Kakashi before he poofed away.

Kakashi scowled at the spot where Pakkun had been sitting. He was suddenly very aware of the sober man across the table from him. Hiko hadn't really said anything to him since last night. Now he looked like he had a whole mess of things to say.

"What are your intentions?" Hiko asked, when Kakashi finally looked up.

"Well," Kakashi said slowly, thoughtfully. "I'll probably stay away from the house for an hour or two. I'm not really interested in the town, but I guess I could walk around for a while. After that, I'll head back and hang around the house. If I get bored, I can always poke Sasuke until he snaps. It might be fun to pick on Naruto, too. Looks like he's got a weird talent. If nothing else, I could sleep for a few days. I didn't actually plan to be here alone with a couple of kids. I'm not big on babysitting."

Hiko stared for a moment, taking in Kakashi's smile. Then he rolled his eyes. "You know I meant your intentions toward Iruka," he said. "How long are you planning to stay here?"

"No telling," Kakashi said honestly, still holding his smile. "I figured I'd hang around long enough for Sasuke to get used to the place, maybe meet a few of the kids that move in with him. It depends on how long it takes the house to fill up."

"Look," said Hiko, "let's just be straight here. If Iruka is interested in a fling, I'd say about time, and that's it. The details are none of my business. Just don't drag it out too long. The second he decides he likes having you around, you can bet you'll be sticking around until he changes his mind. And if by some chance you do manage to leave, anyway, well, between Naruto and Bunchu, I don't think you'll get very far."

Kakashi blinked in amusement. "They'll drag me back?"

"Whatever is left of you, yeah," said Hiko. "That's assuming you actually get out of the house. I'm telling flat out, if he gets attached, you won't want to go anywhere. Ever. Personally, I don't think it'll come to that. I don't think he'll go for a fling, let alone a commitment. But if he does you'll be reciprocating before you know it. If you really value your wanderlust, you'll make this a short stay."

"Sounds like you're trying to scare me off," smiled Kakashi.

"It's only fair," Hiko shrugged. "I think a fling would be good for him. He's been living for that kid way too long and now he's set himself up to have a whole bunch of them. I don't have any problem taking advantage of a guy like you hanging around. Not that you seem to need encouragement. But you should know what you're getting yourself into. Stick around too long and you'll end up worse than Naruto." He pulled a face at that. "One possessive brat's bad enough."

"I'll keep that in mind," said Kakashi.

"You do that."

.-.

Pakkun came back with a flurry of instructions for Hiko, who happily passed them along to Kakashi. While Hiko was used to dealing with Naruto, most of their interaction was in the form of spars intended to teach Naruto to vent himself without relying on Kyuubi's strength. The kid was too prone to fights, too used to drawing on Kyuubi without thinking first. So their spars taught the kid simple moves that didn't require strength so much as thought and dexterity. Naturally those fights ended with Naruto and Kyuubi both getting so frustrated they knocked him back on his ass and stormed off until Iruka dragged them back to apologize. Any interaction they had outside those fights was stilted at best. Naruto resented him when he started talking like a parent, because he already had all the parent he wanted in Iruka. And Hiko was too used to being the 'unwanted big brother' to his own son to handle Naruto's little tantrums without backhanding the brat, which only led to more sparring.

Iruka was their calm go-between. Without him they were better if they stayed away from each other. Not to mention that the little lecture last night had left a bad taste in Hiko's mouth. It was one thing to explain to his own kid what his sister and ex wife saw in each other, and why a man might go from having an ex wife to having a boyfriend. It was another thing to tell Iruka's adopted son why it was best not to rush into anything between two men. Hiko knew for a fact that Iruka's 'talk' had been limited to the usual 'sex equals pregnancy equals not for children' lecture. Nothing a teenager didn't already know from anatomy class. If anything, talks like that made gay sex sound much safer and easier in comparison because there was no pregnancy danger, no bloody mishaps if the sex was attempted at the wrong time of the month, and no shotgun weddings since gay marriages were only legal in a few remote parts of the world. Sure, kids talked more these days, but he would never forget the misinformation he had at that age. He had been an adult before he had ever considered gay sex, and he had still managed to come away from his first 'full encounter' with a limp that lasted for three days. Even dangerous mutant brats didn't deserve that.

So he had sat Naruto down and given him all the warnings he had wished he had before he started experimenting himself. He knew the kids hadn't gone very far considering neither of the boys had been wincing or squirming uncomfortably when they first came into the kitchen. But knowing Kyuubi, who was hardcore personified, that wouldn't last very long. Naruto was way too eager and impetuous to be expected to keep a tight leash on his inner perv once the experimenting did start. In retrospect, Hiko was sure he had been a little more explicit than necessary. Now he was half afraid of being alone with Naruto, for fear the kid would call him on some of the things he had said. Like the offer to give him condoms so he wouldn't make something messy a thousand times worse. Or showing him where the enemas were kept so his partner wouldn't suffer debilitating problems the day after, since Kyuubi had said flat out he would never bottom. It was one thing to warn and instruct the brat before hand, and another to be party to it. Iruka would kill him just for telling Naruto how gay sex was done. He didn't want to think what Iruka would do if he found out he had given the kid implements to make the sex easier.

Thus he passed Iruka's lists along to Kakashi, pointed him in the direction of the mall, and made himself scarce. They could handle shopping without his supervision, and he could avoid being anywhere near a pharmacy with Naruto present and Iruka absent. Better safe than sorry.

Kakashi didn't know why Hiko was so quick to run away after passing along Iruka's message. He was too distracted to care. Pakkun came back with the news that Iruka would be gone for at least a week, and that he would be flying back. That meant days upon days alone with the kids. And despite his absence, Iruka was determined the kids would be taken care of the same as if he had been there himself. Hence the lists. Kakashi tried to look on the bright side. He still had Sasuke to keep him amused. Somehow that didn't cheer him up the way it usually did. He couldn't exactly forget that he had just walked into a strange mall in order to go shopping for two brats, and the man he was doing it for hadn't even promised to repay him with a gratuitous round of sex. That just wasn't fair.

"What are we getting?" asked Naruto. He couldn't help but notice that he was the only one excited. Sasuke was walking with his head down, hands in his pockets, looking more awake than he had been an hour ago, but still looking as if he would rather be sitting in a corner somewhere staring at nothing. Kakashi was walking just behind them with a sullen pout.

Naruto glowered at Kakashi. The guy was still wearing that mask of his, attracting strange looks from everyone they passed. The least he could do was not make it even worse by scuffling along. Naruto stuck a hand out, making Kakashi blink and raise his unhappily bored gaze.

"Either tell me what we're supposed to buy, or give me the list and go back to the house," said Naruto. "It's not like you know your way around here, anyway."

"No, no," Kakashi sighed. "Iruka left me in charge, so I'll handle the shopping." He looked sadly at the first list. Groceries. And here he had been making a joke when he had asked if Iruka planned to have him go grocery shopping. Was that irony? No, it wasn't ironic, just unfair.

"Food," said Kakashi, before flipping to the next list, "clothes," and his expression brightened just a hair at the thought of Sasuke's expression when they got to that part, "vitamins." The last list took that vague smile and turned it into a legitimate smirk of amusement. He poked Sasuke, "He'll have you healthy in no time."

Sasuke sidestepped the poking finger. He was very aware of the stares they were getting. Most of them were because of Kakashi's mask. If he mutilated the man, those stares would switch to him. He sufficed with a glare.

"Clothes first," said Naruto. He flashed a grin at Sasuke, ignoring the bland stare he got in return. "It's better to get stuff like that without Iruka-sensei watching. Even if he doesn't like what you pick out, he won't make you take it back. If he were here, he'd have you trying on all sorts of preppy stuff. He's like a girl when it comes to clothes, I swear. He doesn't even take me with him, anymore, since we never agree on anything. He doesn't like orange," he explained.

"Who does," Sasuke muttered.

Naruto glowered and scoffed, "Like your taste is any better. I bet you want all black."

"I don't want anything," glared Sasuke.

"Now, now," said Kakashi, his good mood fully restored. "This is about what Iruka wants. And we're going to make him happy, aren't we, Sasuke?" He beamed, impervious to Sasuke's sullen resentful look. "Lead the way," he said to Naruto. "We'll have our angsty boy dressed up just like a normal person in no time at all!"

.-.

A few hours later they had a nice wardrobe in dark shades to keep the otherwise fuming Sasuke from making any outright protests. Whether or not he would actually wear any of the items was anyone's guess. Kakashi suspected he would, if only around the house when Iruka was present. Otherwise he wouldn't have made a fuss about only getting things in dark nondescript colors. Silly nightowl. And when Naruto snuck some red items in Sasuke's size into the shopping cart, Kakashi benevolently looked the other way. They were more the color of the sharingan than orange, so it wasn't as if he were helping the enemy. Besides, Naruto would still have to get Sasuke to actually wear them. That would be fun to watch.

The grocery shopping turned out to be the real fun. Iruka's list consisted of four words - Microwavable Items and Fresh Produce. There was also a scrawled message for Sasuke at the bottom, 'Anything you feel capable of cooking is fine. Naruto is not allowed to use the stove or oven.' He made no mention of Kakashi cooking anything.

Kakashi pouted when he saw that. So he had overdiced the lettuce when Iruka asked him to help with the salad. That wasn't a big deal, right? He was used to the little bags of ready-made salad, is all - they always had hair thin strips of green stuff. And maybe adding ketchup to ranch dressing was an acquired taste, but he had only done it to his own bowl. Iruka should have at least waited to sample his signature stew before making assumptions.

Sasuke grimaced when Kakashi snuck the first can of stewed tomatoes into the shopping cart. He pulled the cart closer to himself and glared the man back. "You are not cooking," he said sharply.

"I'm the adult here," Kakashi reminded him, as he added a few cans of corn and green beans. "I'll buy whatever I like."

"With your own money," Sasuke glared.

"Naturally," said Kakashi. He pulled the cart over to the vegetable aisle so he could dump his cans easier. Sasuke remained standing rigidly a few feet away. "They have an oriental aisle here," he said over his shoulder. "What do you think about adding bean sprouts and water chestnuts to the mix? I saw some hash over there that'd be great with a little instant potatoes stirred in. Give it some texture..."

"I'm not eating that," Sasuke blurted. There was a nasty taste in the back of his mouth that refused to be swallowed away.

Kakashi blinked in surprise and sent a disapproving look, "You'd waste food?"

Sasuke stood his ground with a glare that looked weak on his otherwise pasty face, "That's not food."

"Of course it is," Kakashi beamed, "and Sasuke never wastes food." He turned back to his rummaging with a hum, "What about some frozen vegetables, like the stir fry stuff, or, oh, cauliflower, haven't tried that yet. I have to add some more ingredients since I'm cooking for three instead of two."

Sasuke's rising nausea mixed with concern. He couldn't let Naruto touch Kakashi's slop. Naruto was used to the real food Iruka cooked. His stomach wouldn't have any preparation for what Kakashi was capable of. He took two steps toward the cart, determined to put the cans back even if he had to break Kakashi's arms in the process. A darting figure cut him off.

"I love this place!" Naruto grinned. He dumped his armload of instant ramen into the cart. "They have every flavor you can think of! I like the curry best, but the creamy chicken's nice for breakfast if you wake up with a scratchy throat. Then there's the mushroom, which I swear, they never have enough of, cause it's popular, you know. The chili flavor isn't too bad, if you don't mind spicy. Of course, I got plenty of the chicken and beef - I didn't know if you guys were oldschool or not. Either way, it'll take me a few days to eat this myself and we can always get more if we run out."

"That's the Microwavable Items?" Sasuke asked slowly, staring at the pile of nearly identical packages. "Ramen?"

"Sure," Naruto blinked. "What did you think he meant?" He glanced at the canned goods already half filling the cart and flashed a curious look at Kakashi. "Hey, what are you getting?"

"Vegetables and meat," Kakashi beamed. "It's for my signature stew."

"Last time it was soup," Sasuke muttered, still staring at the ramen. Was that all Naruto planned to get? Noodles?

"Soup-stew," nodded Kakashi. He prodded Naruto closer to the aisle of canned goods. "How do you feel about salmon?"

"Oh," Naruto blinked, thinking of Kyuubi's tuna fetish, "That's fish, right? I like fish as long as it's not covered in mayo."

Kakashi nodded happily, "You get a lot more for your money if you buy salmon by the can instead of tuna, and the taste is practically the same. Chicken and beef gets old after a while, am I right?"

"At least with ramen," said Naruto. "That's why I love the variety they have here."

If possible, Kakashi's smile widened. "Can't go wrong with variety."

Sasuke shivered.

.-.

It was only a matter of time before Sasuke snapped. He'd had a long night, a bad morning, and an even longer day. There was the clothes, which he had to suffer through if he wanted to avoid causing trouble that would make Iruka 'talk' to him. And the groceries, a promise of going hungry or being sick for the following week. Really, he thought he had been holding back remarkably well. And then came the pharmacy.

"I still say the one a day vitamins should be fine," Naruto was grumbling. "They're supposed to have the same stuff, and you don't have to take as many pills. Those calcium ones are like horsepills. I have to chew something like an old person just to swallow them."

"Ah," Kakashi nodded, as if he knew anything about vitamins. "But these are for Sasuke. He needs to get used to swallowing things if he's going to be out messing around in the middle of the night."

Naruto choked and blurted, "Nothing happened!"

"Not this time," Kakashi said, in an overly morose tone of voice. "If I believe you, which I don't. I blame myself. I've been remiss in teaching him the ways of the world. Well, no more. Here, Sasuke, do you fancy the lubricated condoms or the ribbed for his pleasure? I prefer these, myself, because-"

Kakashi turned from the display tray of Trojans just in time to hear the little bell over the door ring. A red-faced Naruto was looking over his shoulder at the empty aisle.

Kakashi sighed and patted Naruto on the shoulder. "And this is why I said two days was rushing it. Since you stuck around, I take it you're not as shy, eh? In that case, let me give you some tips. First, you always-"

Naruto jumped. "No! Stop! Nothing happened - nothing! I already got The Talk twice, I don't need it from a pervert on top of it!"

"Don't be silly," Kakashi frowned. "You can never get enough advice. And if you're planning to do my kid, you're going to do it right or not at all. Sloppy efforts are like sloppy seconds, you might think it's fun at the time, but the mess takes forever to clean up. Playboy motto - always be prepared."

"Boy scout motto..." Naruto mumbled, frozen too much to follow Sasuke's example and make a quick escape.

"Biggest gay playboys around," said Kakashi. He turned back to the tray, "Now, let's see. Maybe a few of each. You can never have too many..."

.-.

Sasuke froze just inside the livingroom, his attention locked on the familiar pudgy brown dog that was taking up half the love seat. Pakkun froze as well, ready to poof away if the kid made a move toward him.

"Um," Pakkun said slowly, "hey, there. Sorry about earlier, you know. I'm, uh..."

Sasuke turned on his heel and left the room. Pakkun sagged in relief. Then he winced. He could hear every step Sasuke took up the stairs to his room. The kid never made that much noise unless he was really angry, and trying not to act on that anger. A moment later he heard the steps come back down the stairs. One look at the bag Sasuke was carrying, and Pakkun forgot all about self preservation. He darted after him.

"Hey," Pakkun blurted. "You running away?"

"I'll be back," Sasuke said, in an absolutely blank voice.

Pakkun edged a little closer. "When? Where are you going?"

"I'm going to look around the fields," said Sasuke. "I'll be back in a few days." He opened the back door.

"Days?" yiped Pakkun.

"Maybe a week," Sasuke said, shutting the door in the nosy dog's face.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Iruka sighed as he let himself be led over to his cot. He still didn't know where they had gotten the supplies to turn the basement of a formerly abandoned diaper factory into a makeshift hospital. Bunchu ignored him when he asked. Tenka said he didn't need to know. That told him their means were less than legit and they were sheltering him. It was enough to make him want to knock their heads together. Ever since he had gone to Japan to find out about his parents, Tenka had been treating him like 'the good one' as if they hadn't caused an equal amount of trouble together when they were teenagers. Bunchu was even worse, because he had always seen right through Iruka's attempts to act like a typical rebellious kid. Iruka had thought the fact that they were surrounded by wounded children might make them start treating him as an adult, if not a cynical one. No such luck.

"I should be the one supporting you," Iruka sighed, frowning at Tenka.

The boy was, what, twenty now? Tenka still looked exactly the same as he had the last time Iruka had seen him over two years ago. Shaggy black hair cut a little short on top and tied off in a slight tail in the back, dark headband and grin to match his father, and enough bandages to make him look like he had been in a car accident. Iruka supposed having a building fall on his head was close enough.

"Window dressing," scoffed Tenka. "I was back on my feet after two days. Would have been quicker if I hadn't busted my leg getting caught in the first place. I'm telling you, they don't make steel toed boots like they used to. No traction at all."

Iruka scooted over when Tenka made to sit beside him on the little cot. His attention shifted quickly over the boy's wrapped leg, and then back to his face.

"I thought I was supposed to sleep now," said Iruka. "Bunchu's orders."

"In a minute," Tenka nodded. He leaned close enough to squint right into Iruka's face. "We haven't had a chance to talk yet."

"There's nothing to say," Iruka frowned, looking off into the room. It was too dark to make out the nearest cots, but he knew they were there. "Unless you're waiting for me to ask if you got caught on purpose knowing Bunchu would eventually track you down and be forced to bust out everyone else along with you. I already know the answer to that question, so there's no point in my asking."

"Aren't you uppity," Tenka grinned. "Did the old man figure me out that quick?"

"Most likely," said Iruka. "We didn't have a chance to talk before he sent me out here."

"Yeah, sorry about that. Bunchu didn't know how long he'd be able to keep the kid awake, let alone awake enough to use that talent of his." Tenka grinned, "He'd never carried passengers before. The old man really knows how to pick em, shackin up with the only mutant around who can control other people's talents better than they can. The kid didn't even realize he was bleeding like a stuck pig till we got you back here. I swear, I like Bunchu and all, but his is still one of the coolest and most disturbing talents I've seen. Good thing he's on our side."

Iruka shook his head, "One of these days your dad is going to decide you're not worth it, or Bunchu is going to get tired of tracking you down when he'd rather be spending time with his lover, and you'll be stuck in whatever mess you've gotten yourself into."

"Oh," Tenka said playfully, "so you're lecturing me now? You wanna do it that way, all right. Tell me, Dolph, how's your home life? Ever figure out how you got that scar of yours? What about remembering how we met? Seems a little strange that you spent all that time studying psychology and you never got around to hypnosis. A person would think if you were gonna go to all that trouble to find out who your parents were, you might wonder how you ended up clear across the globe, on a bum rap in a jouvie hall, no less. And here I thought you moved to Japan to find yourself. Sounds more like you went so you'd have an excuse to keep yourself lost. I might get my kicks helping perfect strangers, but at least I know how I got that way. It all started when I ran across a scared little kid who looked half his age and didn't speak a word of English. I took him under my wing, taught him to glower with the best of them, not take crap from anyone, and most importantly, tear shit up instead of letting the feelings fester. Then one day I realized that not only was he older and smarter than me, but he'd started taking care of me instead of the other way around and I didn't much like it. I've been trying to save the world ever since, with the bonus that it keeps me from having to talk to my old man, who I still can't look in the face without remembering the time I walked in on my mom and aunt doing the nasty at age six. Oh, sure, I got a mess of problems, only I know about em, so I can deal. You, now, you're the same screwed up kid I met years ago. You just got yourself a nice adult front to hide it behind. So, Dolph, if you wanna talk psych at me, try it on yourself first. Then we'll talk."

Iruka pursed his lips and sent a playfully annoyed look at the boy beside him. "Are you finished?"

"Depends," Tenka smirked. "Are you gonna keep ragging on me for being inconsiderate to the old man?"

"Not right now," said Iruka. "I'm looking forward to the second undrugged sleep I've had in four years. I'll rag on you later."

Tenka grinned and rubbed a hand over Iruka's head, "Fair enough. That's not what I wanted to talk to you about, anyway."

"Really."

"Yeah," Tenka said, with a sly look. "More like that guy the dog says you got staying with you now."

Iruka groaned and dropped sideways so he could bury his face against the cot. "Don't start," he mumbled tiredly. "Hiko is already encouraging him."

"That's my old man," Tenka nodded. "He always was a smart one. Sorry, Dolph, you're way too young and nubile to be an old maid."

"Nubile?" Iruka sputtered. "Never call me that again."

"Virile, then," said Tenka. "How are you gonna feel when that kid of yours starts having sex before you? He's, what, sixteen now? That's-"

"I know," Iruka said sharply, sitting up and frowning until Tenka leaned away. "And if he did find someone to have a lasting relationship with, I'd be happy for him. What you and Hiko are suggesting has nothing to do with relationships and everything to do with casual sex. Frankly, while I do appreciate your concern, it's none of your business. You aren't exactly an expert on the subject, considering you're so disturbed about your own sexuality you don't know which sex makes you more uncomfortable, male or female. And your father happens to be an old busybody who's had precisely two intimate relationships in his life, one of which ended with his son being permanently scarred, and the other only happened in the first place because Bunchu refused to take no for an answer."

"Point," mumbled Tenka.

"If I did want advice on the subject," Iruka continued, just a little huffy, "I'd ask Bunchu. He's the only one of you who knew what he wanted and managed to get it - and keep it - for years. So, Ten-chan, if you want to talk sex at me, go have some yourself first. Then we'll talk."

"Alright, already," Tenka winced, with an embarrassed grin. "You're still a little shark, aren't you. Get your drug-free sleep. We can chew on each other tomorrow."

"Deal."

.-.

Naruto exploded on Kakashi as soon as Pakkun finished filling them in. "This is all your fault!"

"I know," Kakashi sighed. For once he looked suitably depressed. "I just don't understand where I went wrong. How could he spend so much time in close contact with me and my porn and still be a prude? It doesn't add up."

"Tha-" Naruto bristled and waved an accusing finger at the man. "You - you are a Bad Man. A bad perverted old man. You stay away from Iruka-sensei, and you stay away from Sasuke, too! You shouldn't be allowed near anyone!"

Kakashi blinked. Pakkun was having a loud choking fit on the love seat. Kakashi sent the dog a 'can you believe this kid?' look. Then he shook his head at Naruto. "Stay away from Sasuke?" He was sure he hadn't heard that right.

"You heard me!"

Or maybe he had. Kakashi's eye ticked. "Now, see here, Brat, we might have had some fun shopping together, but Sasuke's my main source of entertainment. I've been working that kid for the last two years. I don't mind sharing if you slow down on the sex stuff and stick to driving him crazy, but you're not replacing me. You're a million years too early."

Naruto gaped and sputtered incoherently. Kakashi wondered if he got that from Iruka. Sure enough, the sputtering was followed immediately by rage and a very loud voice. Kakashi folded his arms and waited for it to pass. As he had thought, this brat wasn't nearly patient enough to get the best results out of Sasuke. He would more likely get himself killed the first time he tried.

"You've got a lot of work to do," Kakashi sighed in disappointment.

Naruto closed his mouth with a frustrated growl. Half of him wanted to deck the pervert. It would make him feel better, and since Iruka wasn't home, he could probably get the perv down to a bloody pulp before he got tired. The other half was with Kyuubi. Find Sasuke before he got so far away they couldn't track him anymore. Beating the pervert could wait until they were safely outside and he had a few hours at his disposal. Iruka would kill him if he got blood on the floor.

'About time,' Kyuubi muttered. 'You're just wasting your breath, anyway. As fast as he is, he'll be halfway to the mountains by now.' He pointedly didn't mention that Iruka would be upset if he came home to find the pervert in the emergency room. Naruto hadn't noticed the way Iruka was taking a shine to the man. Kyuubi planned to keep it that way. As much as he hated to share his people, Iruka was off limits, anyway. And the pervert hadn't moved on Iruka when he was most vulnerable. Kyuubi had to respect that. Without Naruto around, he would never have had that much restraint.

Naruto grabbed his coat and marched for the door.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, "Where are you going?" Wasn't Naruto going to threaten him some more? Just walking away in the middle of a somewhat entertaining rant, where was the fun in that?

"I'm gonna bring him back," said Naruto. "Obviously."

"Ah," Kakashi winced. "That's a very bad idea. When Sasuke gets angry enough to walk out, the best thing to do is-"

"I don't want your advice," Naruto blurted, exasperated. "You just stay here and read your porn, or whatever it is you old perverts do when you're alone." His face twisted in a grimace. Ew, visuals. "Just stay here. And when I bring him back, you leave him alone. Or else!" And unlike Iruka, he actually had an 'else' in mind when he made that warning.

Kakashi was still standing where he had been left, his head cocked to one side, a bemused smile on his face. It wasn't until Pakkun snorted himself into a laughing fit that he moved. He raised a hand to scratch at the back of his head. "Kids."

"I think I like that one," Pakkun snorted. "Fox or not, he's got balls. Bet you he brings him back in one piece."

"Oh," Kakashi sighed, "I'm sure Sasuke will be in one piece. It's Naruto I'm worried about."

Pakkun sniffed, "But not worried enough to stop him, eh?"

"Nah," said Kakashi. "It's best to let kids learn their lessons the hard way. As long as Sasuke doesn't kill him, it's no problem of mine." He patted a hand on Pakkun's head, earning himself a glower. "I think I'll take the brat's advice and get reacquainted with my literature. It's been too long."

"What," Pakkun scoffed, "two days?"

"Three and a half."

"You poor thing."

.-.

Despite what Sasuke had said to Pakkun, he had no intention of 'looking around' the fields. His plan was to get lost in them and stay that way until his hunger or, more likely, his need to be clean, drove him back to the house. It was simple avoidance of a problem not serious enough to bother with. If he lashed out at Naruto, he would have Iruka and Kakashi to deal with. If he lashed out at Kakashi, he would merely amuse the pervert and he would still have Kakashi to deal with. Then there was Pakkun. He had never liked that dog. He couldn't use his talents on a dog. Pakkun was too good at popping away and hiding behind Kakashi for him to kill it with a weapon or his bare hands. And unlike Kakashi, Pakkun knew when he had gone too far and kept going that far every opportunity he got because his teleportation made him essentially untouchable. The mutt was right up there with Itachi, except Pakkun didn't have insanity as an excuse.

Sasuke circled the town first, making a beeline for the mountains in the distance. Somewhere along the way, he dropped his eyes to his feet and turned left. He couldn't actually get lost. His sense of direction was too good for that. He could be half dead, spinning in circles, and he would still be able to point to the house without thinking about it, just like he had always known which direction Japan was no matter what country Kakashi had taken them to. At most, he was concentrating on not leaving footprints. That talent he had done outside his window and again in the kitchen was difficult to maintain. The ground was too soft, and he couldn't relax enough to make himself light. Every few steps it slipped and he came down a little heavier. There was a time limit. Twenty seconds, when he had first left the house, the same amount of time he had managed to fight Kakashi's gravity attack. Forty-two seconds when he took that left turn with his eyes on his feet. Sixty-one seconds when his eyes started throbbing and he found a spot dry and defensible enough to sleep.

There was nothing in the fields but a few low half-buried rocks, weeds, and an unending ocean of high grass. Sasuke put his back to one of those rocks, curled on his side, and immediately dropped into the first absolutely dead sleep he'd had since Kakashi had told him, a week ago, that they would soon be parting ways.

Soon, he had said. So why was he still annoying him every chance he got? Sasuke had greeted the news with relief and nervousness. Kakashi was too stubborn and willful, more like a spoiled child than a rational adult. Meeting Itachi in person hadn't been enough to put him off his ridiculous idea of adoption. It would have only been a formality, of course, a legal maneuver that would allow Sasuke to return to Japan while he was still underage without immediately being taken into custody. Kakashi had gotten the crazy idea when Sasuke had finally admitted why he hadn't resisted being carted onto an airplane by someone he had only known for a few weeks. It was really very simple. Itachi hadn't wanted him out of the country. The closest Sasuke had ever come to getting out of Japan on his own was when he had snuck away in the cargo hold of a ship at age ten. That attempt had ended prematurely with an attack he barely remembered, and a four day hospital stay before he was able to stand on his own feet again. There was something to be said for having an adult escort, no matter how eccentric. No one had looked twice at him when he had followed Kakashi onto the plane.

Sasuke was relieved to know Kakashi had finally given up that ridiculous idea. Fighting Itachi by proxy? Using the courts? Maybe he should have mentioned how much raw wealth Itachi had at his disposal. He was an Uchiha, after all. The last one in Japan now that Sasuke was officially missing. Pointless. And once they were apart for good, Kakashi would have no connection to Itachi at all. Kakashi kept forgetting that Itachi had met him, spoken to him. Looked at him. Sasuke had spent a lot of time wondering why Itachi hadn't targeted Kakashi. It was only a matter of time. No matter how much Kakashi annoyed him, Sasuke didn't want him to be the first innocent bystander to die because of him. Kakashi was better off far away from him. One less weight on his conscience.

The nervousness was the same he'd had the first time they had met. What ifs. Why had Itachi left Kakashi alone? Because he had deemed him useful in some way. If he considered Kakashi useful because he was escorting Sasuke, that usefulness would be over the moment they separated. That didn't matter because without him, Kakashi would be even harder to track, constantly on the move in search of his next great entertainment. The alternative didn't bode well. He still hadn't managed to beat Kakashi in a fight. And the idea of having Kakashi attack him seriously was...disturbing. Not to mention that Kakashi would know exactly where he was. He had always been on the move, driven not by wanderlust, like Kakashi, but out of necessity. He really did appreciate the chance to settle down and grab some semblance of a normal life, for however long it lasted. But that meant being a stationary target. It was no wonder he hadn't slept well since Kakashi's telephone call to Iruka. He was making his own decisions for the first time in two years. He really had gotten far too used to having an adult lead him around by the ear. Whatever happened now, he would have no one to blame but himself.

All of those thoughts and nagging worries slipped away in the stagnant air. There wasn't so much as a breeze, nothing but open air and the smell of grass, rain, and summer. He had never slept in the open before. It was just as he had thought when he first made the trek across these fields. This was the perfect place. No dead ends to corner him in.

.-.

Kyuubi took control from the start. He was always as close to the 'front' as he could get when Naruto explored the fields. Usually they spent time out here for his sake more than Naruto's, so that was only natural. This time he came all the way forward. As he had warned Naruto, all that time rolling the boy off his bed had taught him how easy it was to go from passenger to conductor when Naruto was too distracted or unconscious to protest. Now that they had the same thing in mind, Naruto didn't even bother to protest. He simply relaxed and let Kyuubi have the reins. Naruto had played witness to enough of Kyuubi's stalking dreams to know the fox was a born hunter. Getting to track Sasuke down was probably so fun for Kyuubi that the fox thought it was worth having him run off in the first place.

Naruto had taken one step from the back door, intending to go through the trees and into the fields that way. Kyuubi came forward and turned him immediately, taking him down the drive and along the road past the school, instead. Naruto slunk back to watch. Kyuubi had him moving at a loping jog and didn't seem to be sniffing the air any more than usual.

'How do you do that?' asked Naruto. 'Don't you have to, like, smell the ground or something?' He imagined a miniature Kyuubi darting at the end of a leash, his nose to the dirt, tails spread wide in the air behind him. The real Kyuubi gave an insulted growl.

'Don't be stupid,' Kyuubi snapped. 'You've tasted him. I know his scent better than anyone's now. There's no wind to weaken that scent.'

Naruto shrugged his embarrassment off at the 'tasting' comment and hummed to himself. That was probably a good thing. The residents on their block were mostly old people, but a few were nightowls who would definitely enjoy watching him crawl down the road with his nose to the ground. This wasn't like running around in the fields. He had gotten over his embarrassment fast out there, because even though he knew he looked ridiculous on his hands and feet, there was no one to see it. And Kyuubi loved it. There weren't many things Kyuubi wanted that Naruto could actually give. Letting him play fox in the fields was one of them, and Naruto had to admit even he felt strong and excited when they did it. It was one of the few times when he actually felt like they were really one person, instead of a host and a passenger.

'You could probably run around the fields by yourself now,' Naruto sighed. 'If it's that easy for you to take control.'

Kyuubi didn't bother to lie. 'I like this. It is easy, too easy. I don't know why I didn't try this sooner. But it's not the same as us running together. That's...'

'Bonding?' Naruto offered. He grinned when Kyuubi made a noncommittal grunt. 'That's sweet.'

'Idiot,' Kyuubi sniffed. 'Either of us is powerful by ourselves. Naturally we're stronger united. I use too much on my own, with too little control. You use too little on your own, with too much control. It isn't sweet to make a habit of working in unison. It's common sense.'

Naruto gave a humoring nod, 'Yeah, right. Whatever you say.' And then he choked on a snicker as he felt a blush rise to his cheeks - Kyuubi's cheeks at the moment. That almost made it worth it to have Kyuubi in control of his body. Usually when he managed to embarrass the fox, he got to see him hide under his tails, curled in an ornery little ball. For some reason the idea of Kyuubi blushing, even if it was technically his face wearing the blush, was adorable. 'I never thought I'd enjoy making myself blush,' he said cheekily.

'Brat.' Kyuubi gave another growl. 'I'm going to run now,' he said, in a 'serves you right' tone. 'You'll be sore tomorrow.'

'Eh?' Naruto started, worriedly, just as he broke into a run. Kyuubi had left the road and was following the fields along the edge of town. 'Why are you running? What's the hurry?'

'There's no wind.'

'Yeah,' Naruto sighed. 'You already said that. I thought that was supposed to be a good thing - not having to sniff the ground, right?'

Kyuubi smirked, 'Look up.'

Naruto scoffed in annoyance, 'How am I supposed to do that when you're in control of the body?'

'How do I see things when your eyes are closed?' Kyuubi asked in return, his devious smile widening. 'How did I know Sasuke was glaring at us when he was walking behind you? You're in my position now. Start thinking like a disembodied fox.'

'Wha-' Naruto gaped, 'How the hell am I supposed to know how a disembodied fox thinks! Stop being so damn cryptic, will you?'

Kyuubi just snorted, half aware of the fact that he had done it aloud, using Naruto's vocal cords instead of his own. It reminded him of how he had spoken in the kitchen that morning. He had never really noticed how much thicker his voice was compared to Naruto's. Thoughts just didn't have the same visceral impact. He shook his head at the exasperated boy currently occupying the place right behind his eyes. 'Turn around,' he said. He smirked again when Naruto obeyed without thinking. 'You don't have a body at the moment. How did you turn? You don't have eyes to look out of at the moment. How are you seeing? If you don't want it dark in there, it won't be dark. If you want to see what's outside, you'll see that.'

'Whoa...'

Naruto gaped, feeling completely disoriented. He had gone into his 'mind' lots of times when he was half asleep, or when he had nothing better to do than to go back and chat with the fox where they could actually see each other. He had never really thought about the setting. It was in his head, after all. Kyuubi imagined whatever he wanted and that was what Naruto saw when he went for a face to face visit. Sometimes it was a cozy little pillowy den, like a cave almost. Other times it was a wooded area. Once they had even sat down for a bicker session in what looked like the doctor's office where they had first met Iruka, except with Kyuubi being small enough to actually fit in one of the comfy chairs. Naruto had taken it for granted that if he could close his own eyes and pretend he was somewhere else, Kyuubi - who didn't actually have a body of his own - would be just as good at visualizing make believe surroundings. Now, without Kyuubi, the setting was dark and dank and...disturbing. When he had first turned he had found himself staring into a pitch black void, feeling oddly weightless for the first time since Kyuubi had taken over on the doorstep. Now, the surroundings were resolving themselves into something cold and metallic, like a long abandoned prison filled with sludge and dripping sewer water.

'Kyuubi,' Naruto whimpered. 'I don't like this...!'

'Turn back around,' Kyuubi sighed. 'Look, we're in the field.' He waved a clawed hand to his left as he ran, 'You dug up your second rock right over there. We've been here many times during the day. It's not that different at night. Focus on the fields. You know them. Now turn around again, full circle, slowly. We're still in the field. With you in there, you can see them better than I can through these eyes. There are some benefits to not being limited by a physical body.'

'Oh,' Naruto murmured, blinking dazedly. It was still disorienting because Kyuubi was running and he felt as if he was standing still while a movie played all around him. He supposed this was what he would see if he were a tiny person standing on Kyuubi's head while the fox ran. He couldn't see what he was standing on, but he could look all around at the surrounding fields. Which was...really cool. 'Is it like this all the time when you're in here?'

'Of course. If I want it to be. I prefer an actual ground most of the time. And walls when I sleep.'

'Your den,' said Naruto. Kyuubi usually slept in the same cave, pillowed or grassy, or soft dirt depending on his mood. Naruto had always assumed that was a fox thing.

'Mm,' Kyuubi nodded. 'Don't wander around looking for it. It doesn't work that way. Once I'm finished with that cage, it should serve as a safety if you get lost. Or a place to seek shelter if anyone attempts to come in and take control.'

'This is like-" Naruto shook his head, another disorienting sensation because he imagined he felt his head move, even though he knew he didn't have a body at the moment. 'What the hell, Kyuubi,' he muttered. 'Why didn't you tell me it was like this?'

'Why didn't you tell me your mouth gets so dry when you breathe through it?' Kyuubi sniffed. He had closed his mouth a few minutes ago and was now breathing through his nose. 'You took it for granted. It's the same for me. You never asked and I didn't think about it.'

Fair enough, Naruto thought. There were probably a lot of things they still didn't know about each other, considering they were technically separated most of the time. It was only when they ran through the fields or ate or sparred or dreamed that they really came together. But they were so used to being in constant verbal contact that neither of them thought to ask about stuff like that. Still, his imagination was running wild with possibilities. If Kyuubi could make this...place...anything he imagined, and he could feel as if he had a real body even when he didn't in here, then they could probably use the area for all sorts of things. Experimenting with talents immediately came to mind. He was already imagining he had a body. Would it really be that much of a stretch to imagine he had two of them? And if he could do that in here, how hard would it be to do it for real? Not to mention-

'Don't get carried away,' Kyuubi growled, warningly. 'You're too new at this. At least wait till I finish the cage. And don't even think about experimenting with anything while I'm out here. You and your imagination. If it were that easy, I'd have done it a year ago.'

Naruto sulked, turning back around so they were staring at the same thing. Lots of dark grass. He had never had a problem with the fields at night, but it seemed darker now. 'Is it darker than usual?' Naruto asked. 'Or does it just seem that way because I'm in here?'

'That's what I was trying to point out earlier,' Kyuubi sniffed. 'The reason I'm running. Look up.'

Naruto didn't bother to think about it this time. He tilted his head back. And then he groaned. The sky was thick with dark gray clouds that were just hovering there, as if waiting for the worst possible moment to dump their burden right on his head. No wonder everything seemed darker. He probably wouldn't have been able to see anything if it weren't for Kyuubi's good night vision. 'Damn it,' he grimaced. 'I'm sick of this rain - it's supposed to be summer vacation!'

'At least you can step back so you don't have to feel the cold,' Kyuubi glowered. He had always thought Naruto was too thin skinned, one of the many reasons he demanded they wear layers of baggy clothing to make up for the kid's lack of fur. 'And you won't be able to mow the lawn for a while. That's something.'

'Yeah,' Naruto scoffed, 'but that just means the grass will be even thicker by the time it dries up.' He sighed and looked forward again. 'Okay, I get why you're in a rush now. What happens if it rains before we find Sasuke?'

'I'll lose his scent.'

'And then what?' Naruto prodded.

'We'll get wet and I'll make you take over.'

'Asshole.'

.-.

They found Sasuke just as a wind started to pick up, darting around with the heavy scent of rain clouds. At first it was annoying. Kyuubi froze at the first gust; that cloying scent he had been following was blown away just like that. Naruto, who had been lounging quietly, came closer to share his annoyance. Then the second gust brought that scent back twice as strong and Kyuubi snapped back into motion. Two more minutes and they were standing on the crest of a low hill and staring down at their target. Kyuubi fell silent. Naruto shivered.

'You think he just doesn't feel cold?' Naruto grimaced. 'Like a talent he copied?' He had come so close to the front that he couldn't help but feel the chill. It was colder than the day before and they weren't even wet yet.

Naruto recognized the rock Sasuke was sleeping against immediately. It was twice as big as the ones he had drug back to the house for his garden, taller, more rounded on top and set deeper into the ground. He had tried to dig it up once and found that the round surface was very misleading. The rock had a hollow as it approached the ground but the rest of it, buried beneath, must have tapered out even wider than the surface. Sasuke was lying with his back pressed against the concave edge, his left arm curled over his waist, his right bent so the back of his wrist lay against his neck. His face was completely hidden by his hair and the low grass that had grown up around the rock since Naruto's aborted excavation attempt. He looked completely exposed and vulnerable, even worse than when Naruto had spotted him leaning in front of that creepy house.

'I wanna hug him again,' Naruto admitted, sheepishly. 'Think he does that on purpose?'

Kyuubi started down the hill, timing his steps with the wind so his approach was absolutely silent. Despite being currently disembodied, Naruto felt a skitter over the back of his neck. The fox was still in hunting mode.

'Um, Kyuubi,' Naruto said worriedly. 'What are you doing?'

Kyuubi licked his lips.

'Ack!' Naruto choked. 'No! Don't you dare! Down, boy! Down, I said. Sasuke is not a rabbit. You eat him and I'll be the cannibal!'

An evilly sharp toothed grin answered that. 'Just a nibble.'

'Kyuubi!'

Naruto lunged forward, aiming to resume his customary place as keeper of the psycho fox. Kyuubi's step faltered for a second. Then Naruto went reeling mentally from the sudden rush of predatory lust, and Kyuubi used the distraction to prod him back. Three more silkily silent steps.

"Stop right there."

Kyuubi growled deep in his throat, a very creepy sound for Naruto to hear coming out of his own mouth. The fox stopped in his tracks, and Naruto shoved to the front again. This time he had a clear image of grabbing three tails in his fists and swinging the fox behind him in a somewhat thoughtless act of desperation. It worked. He suddenly found himself blinking his own eyes while a resentful fox groused in the back of his head. Sasuke hadn't moved, but Naruto could see red eyes glinting at him from behind loose dark bangs.

"Um, hey," Naruto started, with a wincing grin. His face felt boiling hot. "I was, erm, just..."

"Don't take another step," Sasuke said, in a blank voice. "Look down."

"Eh?" Naruto blinked at his feet. Grass, dirt, the usual turf found anywhere in the fields. He started to raise his gaze back up when a silvery glint caught his eye. He squinted. "What's that...?"

"Thread," said Sasuke. He let out a slow sigh and sat up, his right arm still held diagonally in front of his neck.

Naruto blinked when he spotted another silvery glint leading from Sasuke's curled hand to the grass. "Thread?" Naruto frowned. "Why? What would happen if I stepped on it?"

"It would have sliced your feet off at the ankle," Sasuke said, in that same calmly monotone voice.

"What!"

"It's very quick," said Sasuke. "You wouldn't have realized what happened until you hit the ground."

Naruto sputtered, gaping in horror. Kyuubi was growling and gnashing his teeth, tails snapping furiously back and forth.

'He must have set more of them all around the area,' Kyuubi muttered. 'Early warnings. He knew we were close the entire time and he intentionally waited till the last second to stop us.' He growled again, deeper this time. 'I'm not just going to bite him, I'll fuck him into the ground.'

'Kyuubi,' Naruto grimaced. 'Lust and anger don't mix. Stop it. It's your own fault for trying to jump him while you thought he was asleep. We're here to find him and bring him home, not attack him so he never comes back. Besides, um, he did stop us, so...no harm done.' He tried to convince himself he really felt that way. Some part of him was right there with Kyuubi. Cutting his feet off without so much as a 'by the way, watch out for the thread'? That was just wrong. Yeah, Kyuubi had been aiming to jump him, but Naruto wouldn't have let him. He was on Sasuke's side. Allies weren't supposed to cut each other's feet off.

"Um, so," Naruto frowned, looking from that seemingly innocent thread to Sasuke. "Can you, er, disarm it?"

"I did the moment you tripped the first thread."

"What!" Naruto blurted.

Sasuke sighed again, an annoyed expression breaking out on his face. "You're a moron. I already told you, I don't use my talents on morons. I disarmed it before you even topped the hill."

"But, then, why did you tell me to stop?" asked Naruto. He would deal with the moron thing as soon as he got over his frustrated confusion and relief. Sasuke hadn't meant to cut his feet off after all.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. Why had he stopped Naruto? Because he hadn't liked the look on Naruto's face when he came slinking down that hill. Sasuke didn't bother explaining that. He dropped his eyes, his arm falling as he shook his wrist and loosened the threads. Naruto had snapped three of them before he had come into sight. He could still reset the rest. The thread itself was normal thread, a tiny spool that didn't take up any room in his bag and cost next to nothing, but he had been using the same spool for years. It was a comfort thing. The man he had gotten the talent from had used wire. Sasuke had tried that, but his connection with electricity interfered too much. At best he could put enough energy into the closest threads to make them unbreakable. That little spool of thread had saved him quite a few times before he had started traveling with Kakashi.

"Why are you here?" asked Sasuke, without looking up. He was still annoyed at having such a good sleep disturbed. But part of him was worried. He had come miles from the house. How had Naruto found him so quickly? And why? Sasuke finished wrapping the thread and finally looked up. "Did something happen?"

"No," said Naruto. Then he shook his head. "I mean, yeah, obviously, the pervert ran you off. So I came to bring you back," he straightened proudly. "It's a good thing, too, because you won't want to be sleeping out here once those clouds burst."

Sasuke stared, "You came to bring me back."

"That's right," Naruto nodded. "I know you only left because the pervert was hitting on you. Looking around the fields for a week? Yeah, right. You didn't even bring anything with you for camping. Don't worry, I'll protect you from the pervert when we get home. I've got his number now."

Sasuke felt his eye twitch. "Kakashi isn't the only reason I left," Sasuke said, slowly.

"Yeah," Naruto glowered, "there's that dog, too. Climbing in your bed? It's no wonder you went off on him this morning. You really have all sorts of perverts after you." He thought of the creepy photos hidden in the bottom of his desk. "It's no wonder you're so twitchy, especially traveling around with a pervert who hits on you all the time."

Sasuke opened his mouth and stopped. What was he planning to say? That Kakashi never hit on him? That the pervert he had traveled with didn't go out of his way to make him twitch? That the dog didn't get his jollies from invading his personal space when he was asleep? He glowered in annoyance. "Most of the people after me are psychopaths, not perverts. I don't need protection from Kakashi. And I have every intention of staying out here for the rest of the week." His eyes narrowed more. "Go home."

Naruto gaped. "But...it's gonna rain. Really hard, too, if those clouds are as thick as they look. What, you're planning to sleep in the mud?"

It wouldn't be the first time. Sasuke sniffed. There was a reason he had left his notebook at the house. He didn't have anything with him that would be damaged by water. And if the water collected too deep, he would rest on top of the rock or move on. It wasn't as if he hadn't noticed the gathering clouds when he had decided to stop here for the night.

"Go home," Sasuke repeated.

"I can't just go back without you," Naruto protested.

"Then expect to get wet," said Sasuke. He turned his back and went over to sit comfortably on the rock, claiming it for his own. He firmly ignored the way Naruto was sputtering at him. He had dealt with Kakashi for a long time. He was confident he could out-wait Naruto.

'Let me,' Kyuubi growled. 'I'll disable him and we can carry him back.'

'You're not helping,' Naruto whined. 'The point was to find him and tell him it's safe to come back.'

'No,' said Kyuubi. 'The point was to bring him back. It doesn't matter if he's willing or not.'

'Kyuubi.'

'He'll get sick,' Kyuubi said, switching tactics. 'Sick and weak, out here all alone, in the cold rain, with a stalker on the loose.' Naruto squirmed worriedly. Kyuubi kept his smug grin to himself as he felt him caving. 'He didn't bring anything but that tiny bag, too small for two days' worth of food, let alone a week. This is for his own good.'

Naruto sent a furtive look at Sasuke and found him staring back over his folded hands. Sasuke's expression was blankly bored, his eyes black and half lidded. He looked fully prepared to sit there for the rest of the night.

'You're just looking for an excuse to jump him,' Naruto accused. 'You don't care if he gets cold and hungry.'

'Of course I care,' Kyuubi said smoothly. 'I wouldn't enjoy fucking a frozen skeleton.'

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. Naruto had just burst into choked coughs, a weird grimacing grin twisting over his face. "Are you having a fit?"

"Yeah," Naruto coughed, trying his hardest not to laugh out loud. Kyuubi was such an ass. "Hey, Sasuke, I got an idea. Let's fight it out. If you pin me, I have to do what you want and go home by myself. If I pin you, you have to do what I want."

"Pin," Sasuke repeated, with a droll expression. "I could kill you."

"Um, okay," Naruto said, giving him a weird look. "Maybe you could. And I could kill someone, too, if I didn't watch my strength. That's not the point. I'm talking about a sparring match. You know, winner takes all? We can set ground rules, if you want. Like, no weapons - cause I don't have anything like your thread and that's not really fair. And no breaking bones, so you don't have to worry about me using too much strength. You can still use that electrocuting thing - I recovered pretty fast, so it should even out. Or we can do it without talents. I should warn you, though, I'm pretty good at that. Hiko has been teaching me how to beat the shit out of morons without using any mutant advantages. Of course, you're faster than me, so that might even out, too. Either way is fine. What do you say?"

"I say you're a moron," Sasuke stated. "I don't fight morons."

"Tha-" Naruto growled, his hands curling into fists. "You're such an ass! That's it, first order - when I win you have to stop calling me names. Now we're definitely going to fight, whether you like it or not. I should kick your ass just for the insult, so you've got it coming, anyway. I'm trying to be friendly and reasonable here, but you're really pushing it!"

Sasuke simply stared, "Go home, usuratonkachi."

"Teme!"

Naruto lunged, his noble idea of a friendly sparring match replaced with a sudden need to wipe that bored look off the bastard's face. Sasuke waited till the last second and then flipped off the rock to send a well aimed kick to the small of his back. Naruto bit back a yipe as his knee barked against the rock. He twisted around, just in time to catch Sasuke's left fist in his palm. He caught the right fist with the side of his face, his teeth slicing the inside of his cheek. He swallowed a gulp of blood and Kyuubi was Not Happy. Naruto forced the fox back down by habit. Sasuke's eyes were still black, so talents were out. As angry as he was, he still wanted to beat him fairly, which meant no healing till the fight was finished. He jerked his leg around, kicking Sasuke's feet out from under him with his heel and pushing him over backwards.

Sasuke twisted as they went down, catching himself with his right hand and pushing off again so that Naruto was the one who hit the ground, landing hard face down. He pivoted with his left fist still locked in Naruto's grip and struck him on the back of the neck with his right elbow. The blow stunned him enough to break free. Sasuke darted back, far enough away to be out of reach, but close enough to kick him back down if Naruto attempted to get up and come after him. He never predicted that Naruto would roll sideways and knock his feet out from under him again. His mind skipped a beat for just a second of 'what the hell' at the bizarre move. Then he fell forward over Naruto, coming down to meet an eager fist to the gut. He coughed and shoved off, only to have his wrist caught as a hand closed over his shoulder. Naruto pushed him back and Sasuke was reminded of their last 'fight' as his head snapped back to connect with a ground that was much less forgiving than the soft mud had been. His eyes were just flashing red when a heavy arm came down to press on his neck.

"I win," said Naruto.

Sasuke blinked, the sharingan telling him how restrained Naruto's energy was, even weaker than the time he had caught him napping on the couch.

"I pinned you," Naruto glared. Kyuubi was threatening to take over, spurred on by those red eyes, despite the confused look on Sasuke's face. "I pinned you, so I win. If you wanna go again with talents, fine, but I won this match fair and square."

Sasuke stared. Pinned. That was it? What kind of fight was that? They were both still conscious, neither of them seriously injured, and it had only taken a few seconds.

"You want to go again with talents?" asked Naruto.

"No," Sasuke snapped, glaring suddenly. "I didn't want to fight a moron to begin with."

"Yeah," Naruto glowered right back, "and I didn't want you calling me that. Admit I won this round and I'll let you up. First condition of my victory, no more names. Second, you go back with me."

"And the third?" Sasuke bit out, more angry than sarcastic.

"I'm sure I'll think of something." Naruto felt a dark grin creeping over his face. Kyuubi was no longer pushing to take over; he was right there with him. Sasuke looked good when he was angry and they were already so close...

Sasuke tensed as Naruto leaned closer, staring at him with eyes as red as his own. This was too familiar. And bizarre. "What the hell are you doing, usuratonkachi?"

"Something," Naruto murmured, his eyes falling closed. "And don't call me that," he said against Sasuke's lips, "I won."

Kissing him. Sasuke stared, remaining absolutely motionless. Naruto was kissing him. By choice this time. What the hell was wrong with him? They had been fighting, furious and violent just a few seconds ago. Glaring at each other, hurting each other, and now Naruto was kissing him as softly as he had last night, firm but so tentative that it wasn't the least bit threatening. Naruto hummed and pressed into his mouth. Sasuke felt a sudden heat flare over his face as his free hand snapped up to lock on Naruto's shoulder, not pushing so much as holding tight. If he had been tense before, he was a statue now.

This was tasting. Naruto eased into the kiss, taking the lack of an immediate violent reaction as permission. Kyuubi was purring in approval and instead of feeling amused at that, he felt himself giving an answering hum. He was only vaguely aware of a continuing pain in his shoulder. Sasuke wasn't responding and he wanted him to. This was his first kiss, after all. He pressed closer to the warm body under him, noting the tension as he shifted the kiss from tentative to teasing. Any response would do. If he wasn't doing it good enough, well, Sasuke was the one with experience, so...

Sasuke made a small choking sound, and Naruto's eyes snapped open. He pulled back slowly, licking his lips and staring dazedly into Sasuke's wide red eyes. Sasuke was blushing. And pushing on his shoulder so hard only Kyuubi's thoughtless strength was keeping him in place. Naruto leaned back quickly, wondering if he had been completely wrong about that lack of reaction equaling permission. Then he noticed something else that put his worries to rest with a giddy sort of amusement. He had gotten a reaction, after all. And a very positive one, from the feel of it.

"Hey," Naruto murmured, with an embarrassed grin. "Um..."

"Get off me," Sasuke blurted, his glare looking out of place on his pink face. "Now!"

"Ah! Sorry," Naruto winced. He retreated a few safe feet away and fidgeted. A peek at Sasuke found him sitting up with a mortified expression on his face. He quickly looked away before he could catch sight of anything else that might be visible through Sasuke's light clothing. That embarrassed, but pleased grin started over his face again. "Um, that was my first kiss, you know. That kiss last night doesn't count. Sorry if I was a little thoughtless. You've kissed before, so I was waiting for you to, well, react more." And he choked back a laugh. He had gotten more of a reaction than he had expected, just a different kind of reaction. "I thought you'd kiss back," he explained.

"I have never kissed anyone," Sasuke snapped. He was humiliated and uncomfortable and...he wasn't going to think about what else he was at the moment. He was just going to sit absolutely still until it went away. And if Naruto so much as looked at him funny, he would kill him.

"What?" Naruto blurted, turning to stare at Sasuke in disbelief. "Never?" He sent an accusing yell at his fox, 'Kyuubi!'

'Trust me,' Kyuubi hummed back, all glowing and pleased with himself. Or pleased with having finally gotten a taste of the real thing.

"Never," Naruto repeated, glowering as Sasuke snapped him a glare. "If you've never kissed, why did you act like last night was nothing? If that was your first kiss, then-"

"I have been kissed," Sasuke muttered, looking away again. "I have never instigated or participated." Or reacted positively, but he didn't plan to admit that.

"Oh." Naruto gave him a long considering look. "Well, um, you could kiss me...or I could try again and-"

Sasuke shot to his feet. He stalked over to collect his bag. He then turned and started walking away.

Naruto jumped. "Sasuke? Where are you going?"

"Back to the house," Sasuke snapped. "That was your second condition."

"Oh! Great," Naruto beamed. He hurried over to walk with him. One look at Sasuke's murderous expression and his smile faltered. "Um, are you mad about the fight or...the kiss?"

"Both."

Naruto's face dropped. "Oh..."

"I'm going to challenge you tomorrow," said Sasuke, a hint of a sneer pulling at his face, "with talents. You won't like my conditions, either."

Naruto missed a step, worry widening his eyes. "Erm, I, uh, guess that's fair."

"Walk faster," Sasuke glared, with a grudging, "Naruto," in place of the insult he wanted to use.

"Sure thing," mumbled Naruto.

For some reason Naruto was suddenly sure Sasuke was going to kick his ass tomorrow. He couldn't imagine how, when he had Kyuubi on his side and they would be fighting with talents. It was just...something in Sasuke's tone that convinced him. He worried for a few minutes, hurrying along beside Sasuke as they attempted to get back before it rained. Then he thought about how nice his first kiss had been and the undeniable reaction he had gotten and he decided he didn't care if he got his ass handed to him tomorrow.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Kakashi didn't get it. He didn't know how Naruto had gotten Sasuke to come back so quickly. As far as he could tell, Naruto was completely unscathed. Sasuke was rigid and unresponsive, but no worse than usual. Kakashi came into the kitchen late the next morning to find the two getting along in relative calm, Sasuke sipping coffee while he cooked, Naruto heartily eating ramen for breakfast. Kakashi immediately snagged a cup of his own and hovered.

"Didn't expect you to be back so soon," he drawled at the top of Sasuke's head.

Sasuke flicked him a bored glance, "Do you want any of this?"

Kakashi glanced at the flat circular thing cooking in the skillet. It looked like a pancake. That couldn't be right. The smell was a little off and, besides, Sasuke didn't like sweet things. "No."

"I do!" Naruto piped up from the table.

Sasuke tensed for a split second and then shot a look over his shoulder. His expression and tone were mocking, but he didn't quite look at Naruto, "On top of noodles?"

"Ramen," Naruto corrected, glowering. "Ramen noodles. And why not?" He grinned. "It smells good!"

Sasuke's eye ticked as he turned back to glower at Kakashi, "If you don't want anything, go sit down."

"Eh?" Kakashi blinked, as if hurt. "Am I bothering you?"

"Yes."

"And why is that?" prodded Kakashi. "You know, Sasuke, I think of you as my own rabid son. If there's anything you want to talk about, I'm here for you." He gave his most angelic sacrificing father smile, earning him a twitch. Then the moment was ruined by certain loud mouthed blonde elbowing him away from Sasuke.

Naruto had stalked over to dump his empty ramen container, conveniently making the cooking area so cramped that Kakashi had to move to the side. He glowered at the man and waved him back some more. "You heard him," he muttered, "go sit down. You're in the way."

Kakashi blinked. So he was in the way, was he? He gave a narrow-eyed smile and let himself be herded over to the table. "Ah," he murmured to the irate blonde, "I wouldn't want to bother Sasuke. He looks especially tense this morning. I don't suppose you know why he would be so tense this morning?"

Naruto flinched, pointedly not looking in Sasuke's direction. "Mind your own business," he muttered.

Instead of blushing, Naruto had actually paled. Kakashi raised an eyebrow. He considered reminding the brat that Sasuke was his business. Then he thought better of it. Another push so soon after the last one and Sasuke might not come back at all. Iruka wouldn't like that. Besides, it would be more interesting to tackle Naruto when he was alone. He settled in for a nice staring session. He was curious how long Naruto could take it before he cracked.

Sasuke didn't speak again. He was thinking. Too much, not enough, he wasn't really sure. He ignored Kakashi and Naruto alike, not even saying anything when Naruto coated his pancakes in syrup, despite the raisins he had added to the batter, that already made them borderline sugary. He noticed vaguely that Naruto was staring wide-eyed at the way he attacked his food. He ignored that, too. Naruto hadn't exactly hesitated to wolf down his ramen, and it wasn't as if he had any reason to be polite in front of Kakashi. He had slept unreasonably well last night, dropping right back into the same dead sleep he had gotten in the fields. He had woken up just after dawn feeling wide awake. Clearly, something was seriously wrong with him.

He was a little too eager to teach Naruto a lesson, and wasn't that a juvenile thing to think. Teach him a lesson. What, was he five? He knew it was immature. Pointless, even. But the fight last night honestly rankled him. It wasn't even his embarrassment. It was the idea that a relatively painless scuffle could be considered a fight. He was familiar with attacks that were over almost as soon as they had started. The difference was that those ended when one person was incapacitated. They were serious, dangerous, deadly. These scuffles Naruto kept dragging him into were an insult to all of the fights he had experienced over the years. Then there was the fact that he had lost without even realizing that the fight would end the second his back touched the ground. Pinned? Fine, then, he would show him pinned. The only question was how to go about it without killing the moron.

Naruto opened his mouth when Sasuke got up from the table mere minutes after sitting down. He closed it again without speaking. He didn't know what he had been planning to say, anyway. He had been getting weird vibes from Sasuke since their walk back last night. It made him nervous for some reason. Then there was the way Sasuke had bolted his food, scarily fast compared to how politely he had eaten around Iruka. And he kept getting this dark look around his eyes, like he was amused by something only he could see. Even the way he moved to wash his dishes suddenly seemed worrisome. There was a sharpness to every little movement Sasuke made that reminded him of Kyuubi right before one of his mutilation dreams. Not exactly reassuring. And Sasuke still hadn't looked at him. Oh, sure, he looked in his general direction and talked as if things were normal, but he wasn't actually seeing him. Somehow that was worse than being ignored outright.

On top of that, there was the pervert, who had been staring at him since he sat down. Sure, he would rather have the pervert bugging him than Sasuke, but that stare was getting really annoying. He waited until Sasuke left the kitchen before he snapped. "What?" Naruto rounded, scowling at Kakashi. "What, do I have something on my face?"

Kakashi beamed. The brat had lasted almost ten minutes, four more than he had estimated. "Yes, you do," he remarked cheerfully. "Cute little kitty whiskers."

"They're scars," Naruto bristled. The only scars he had, as a matter of fact, and scars he was quite proud of. He had already had them when Kyuubi woke up the second time and started healing every tiny little injury he got. He sometimes wished they were somewhere other than on his face, but he still liked them. They were really unique, after all, like having a tattoo.

"They look like whiskers to me," Kakashi smiled. "Fitting ones, too, with your talent."

Naruto tensed, sending Kakashi a suspicious and disgruntled look. "What do you know about my talent?" Iruka wouldn't have told him. No way. He was suddenly reminded of what Sasuke had said about the pervert's touch. He scooted his chair further away from the table. He didn't see how anyone could copy Kyuubi, but he wasn't taking any chances.

"Just what I've seen," said Kakashi. He tilted his head thoughtfully and started ticking points off with his fingers, "Red eyes, fiery orange energy, sharp teeth, claws, pointy ears, a tail," and Naruto was starting to look panicked, so he gave a sly smile and added, "and your voice changes considerably. Why, it almost sounded like a completely different person. I don't suppose you have a split personality, do you?"

Naruto appeared frozen in place, wide-eyed and very pale. Kakashi went in for the kill, "What's his name? Neko-chan, maybe? Ah, no, that's right, Pakkun says fox not cat. I suppose that would explain the territorial behavior..."

"What do you want?" Naruto mumbled. Inside he was railing. Was it that easy to put together? The pervert had only seen Kyuubi once. And what did he mean about the dog? Kyuubi disliked dogs as a rule, but dogs had never had a problem around Naruto. He was pretty sure he didn't smell like a fox. Kyuubi didn't have a real fox's body, so there was no way he could smell like one. Then came the big question. Did Sasuke know?

'Not yet,' Kyuubi muttered sullenly. 'I told you it was only a matter of time. There's no reason not to tell him yourself.'

'Yes, there is,' Naruto shot back. 'I don't want him looking at me like that. He'll think I'm crazy!'

Kyuubi snorted, 'Look who he's been living with. I doubt crazy is anything new to him.'

"Oh, I'm just curious," Kakashi said, oblivious to the silent exchange. "Iruka was very open about his talent, and I'm sure Sasuke has told you about his and mine by now. The fact that you're keeping yours a secret, well," and he smiled, "it makes one wonder what you're hiding. And why."

Naruto focused his darkest glare on the pervert. "It's none of your business."

"Sasuke is."

'He's threatening me!' Naruto blurted to Kyuubi, while gaping at the pervert.

'Or challenging us,' Kyuubi growled back, 'I'll kill him if he tries anything.'

"Now, now," Kakashi waved, "don't get all worked up. I'm not going to spill your odd little secret, though I would suggest you tone down the teeth and claws the next time he makes an appearance - it's not exactly subtle, after all. No, I just want to know if this alter ego of yours is how you managed to get Sasuke to come back quietly last night."

Naruto blinked in confusion, actually thinking about that for a moment. Kyuubi had tracked Sasuke down, but the fight had been him. He hadn't used any talents, so, "No."

"I see," Kakashi nodded. And he did, finally. The lack of injuries had told him either the kids hadn't fought, or Naruto had used some unknown talent to subdue Sasuke without either of them getting hurt. If Naruto hadn't used his 'secret' talent, then it was obvious how he had gotten Sasuke to stand down. He had sexed him up. Ah, good old fashioned tactics never failed. Nothing shut Sasuke up like a flash of porn. Mystery solved. Now to find Sasuke and enjoy how especially spirited he was behaving this morning. He had always thought a little sexing up would be good for him. Not too much too fast, of course, just enough to dislocate that ill placed stick of his. "Nice talking to you," he smiled at Naruto. "And don't worry, your secret is safe with me."

Naruto turned to stare after the pervert. Kakashi had looked eerily cheerful, almost skipping out of the room. That just wasn't right.

'What's going on?' Naruto asked Kyuubi. 'What just happened?'

'I'm not sure,' Kyuubi muttered, though he had his suspicions. 'Finish eating and go outside for a run. You'll want to stretch those legs before he challenges us.' Naruto pouted irritably and Kyuubi sniffed at him. 'Don't look at me, I warned that you'd be sore today. It's not my fault you haven't been getting enough exercise lately.' Luckily he expected that to change shortly. Sasuke was letting out enough adrenaline to make him heady. Whatever Sasuke had planned, Kyuubi hoped it would be painful. He was tired of having Naruto doubt him when he said Sasuke was stronger than he looked.

.-.

Sasuke spent most of the day reading in the backyard. He had asked Naruto to fetch him some of those primers Iruka had mentioned and was wading his way through the first book. It was boring, too easy, and driving Naruto stir crazy. He had just flipped to the second chapter when he caught Naruto peeking at him from the window. He was halfway through the third when the blonde came out, fidgeted just outside the door for nearly twenty minutes, and then went back in. By the time he was on the sixth chapter, Naruto had come all the way to the rock before he started his fidgety shuffle. Sasuke didn't bother to look up, appearing entirely engrossed in the elementary material.

"Hey," Naruto murmured, finally. "Um, Sasuke...?"

"I'm busy," said Sasuke. "Go away."

Naruto grimaced and bit back a complaint. It was past noon and Sasuke was still reading. A textbook, even. How could anyone sit for hours on end reading a textbook? He just knew Sasuke was doing this on purpose. He scowled and scuffed a foot on the grass. "It's lunch time," he said hopefully. "You gonna eat?"

"Maybe later," Sasuke said, turning a page slowly as if he had all the time in the world.

Naruto's face dropped into a squinty-eyed glower. One more try, he could manage one more try and then he wouldn't have to wonder when Sasuke was going to challenge him, he would challenge the jerk himself. "Want me to bring you something?"

If Sasuke was surprised by the generous offer, he gave no sign of it, "Tea would be nice."

"Okay!"

Sasuke flicked an amused look after him. Too easy. His eyes were back on the book by the time Naruto came out, "Thanks."

"Sure," said Naruto. He waited a few more minutes and then did his best to sound casual, "So, are we still gonna fight today?"

"Later."

Naruto fought back another grimace. "Okay." He turned back to the house feeling relieved - the fight was still on, and annoyed - Sasuke could at least look interested in challenging him, and frustrated - when the hell was 'later'?

'What are you laughing about?' Naruto demanded, more than a little cross.

'I like him,' Kyuubi smirked.

'Well, good for you,' Naruto grouched, 'because right now I don't like him at all.'

Kyuubi's grin widened even more, 'I know.'

Mere minutes after Naruto disappeared into the house, Sasuke finally acknowledged the patient pervert who had been spying on him for most of the day. He turned to a fresh page in the textbook and wrinkled his nose. Kakashi smirked at the tiny facial expression. That was Sasuke's way of saying, 'fine, I admit you've succeeded in annoying me, now go away.'

Kakashi strolled out from behind the tree closest to Sasuke, a small orange-covered book held open in front of his face. He stopped beside the rock and let his gaze flick down casually, "Didn't anyone ever tell you not to play with your food?"

Sasuke's eyes narrowed ever so slightly. Kakashi beamed. He knew that look, too. Inner Sasuke was now sniggering in dark barely suppressed glee. That narrow glittery eyed stare was as close to a chuckle as he would get from the brat. Oh, yes, Sasuke was in a very devious mood today. As much as he enjoyed watching his kid plotting something evil, he was fairly sure Naruto wouldn't last much longer. It was up to him to make sure Iruka's adopted son was still alive when he returned. While comfort sex had its benefits, Kakashi didn't care much for tears. They ruined the mood. He resolutely didn't consider the possibility that Iruka might kill him rather than seek comfort. Kakashi was an optimist, after all.

"I approve," Kakashi said, with a confident nod. "Granted, he's a bit green for you. I had in mind someone more experienced who could carry you around by the scruff of your neck so those claws of yours can't do any damage. But he's eager to learn, easily riled, and hormone ridden enough to suffice for the time being. He must have done something right last night, to make you so eager to return the favor."

Sasuke turned a slow look on him, arching one dark eyebrow, "Do you want to die?"

"Now, now," Kakashi said cheerfully, "none of that. I'm simply giving you my support. It's only natural for boys your age to experiment. And this is the perfect opportunity for you to get in some of that home therapy I recommended, to get over your contact phobia. If you ever need me to make myself conveniently absent for a while, just say the word."

Sasuke's expression was studiously bland. Kakashi immediately took that to mean Sasuke was trying to hide the fact that something he had said had interested the boy. Now which part would that be? Kakashi felt a slow smile curving his lips until his visible eye narrowed with mirth.

"In fact," Kakashi murmured, ever so casual, "I think I'll take a long walk around town. It'll probably be a few hours before I get back, but I'm sure you can take care of yourself until then. Be sure to take your vitamins for the day. I noticed you skipped those at breakfast. Naughty, naughty. If I didn't know you'd refuse anything drug-like from my hands, I'd have brought them out to you. They'd go down well with that drink your new friend brought you."

Kaksahi strolled off, his face hidden happily in the open book. He could be very considerate. Not that Sasuke appreciated it. Ungrateful brat. Here he was, showing complete trust in a pair of teenagers, who collectively had sex and violence on the brain. If it had just been Naruto and that hidden fox alter ego thing, he wouldn't have done it. Sasuke was different. He was fairly sure Sasuke had never seen a naked person, male or female, let alone considered what a normal teenager would do if left alone with that person. Besides, it was officially three days and counting. This was the point where Kakashi typically began his pursuit in earnest. Openly stalking, groping, cornering, offering aphrodisiacs to the more inhibited of his targets. He wondered how the latter would work with Iruka. It would probably depend on that drug he was taking. Not that he had ever noticed adverse side effects with his own 'specially ordered' pills. They had been patented by Jiraiya-sama himself, after all. They were guaranteed to make the most recalcitrant lover into a growling sex kitten. Kakashi hummed to himself, pleased with how well his imagination went with the illustrated porn open in front of him. By the time he reached the sidewalk, he had forgotten why he was taking a walk, fully engaged in his own little fantasy.

.-.

Naruto didn't know what to expect when Sasuke called him outside. He had been watching television, snacking on ramen, and doing everything possible to distract him from the long delayed fight. It had worked so well he hadn't even noticed when Sasuke came in. He only heard him coming down the stairs. Sasuke gave a small smirk when he glanced over to see him standing in the livingroom doorway. Naruto jumped to follow. He wasn't nervous anymore, just impatient. He followed Sasuke over to the furthest rock on the right. Then Sasuke turned to face him and Naruto's attention was caught by the cuffs he was wearing on his arms and legs. They were white and loose with tiny belts on the ends. The ones on his arms reached just past his elbow.

Naruto blinked. 'Kinky.'

'Nice,' Kyuubi agreed. 'He'd look better in them without the black clothes, though. Or any clothes at all, for that matter. Don't stare too much. He's starting to glare at you.'

Naruto quickly pushed away his surprise at the unexpected kinky accessories. Sasuke was glaring suspiciously at him as if he had actually heard the silent exchange. He put an innocently eager expression on his face.

"Kakashi's gone," said Sasuke. "If we fight in the future, we'll do it in the fields. Agreed? I don't like witnesses."

"Sure," Naruto said quickly. He wasn't big on witnesses, either. Iruka had a bad habit of stopping him any time he used Kyuubi in a fight. Of course, that only happened when Hiko really pissed him off, but still. No witnesses was a pretty good rule. He decided to toss one in himself, "If we fight in the fields and you get hurt, you have to come back to the house so Iruka-sensei can fix it." Sasuke recoiled, giving him one nasty glare. Naruto stubbornly glared right back. "That's my rule. I heal fast on my own, so that's not a problem. I don't like seeing people hurt, so if you get hurt you have to say something so you can get help." Especially if he was the one who had caused the injury. "Agreed?"

"Fine," Sasuke said coldly. Naruto's confidence in this 'quick healing' was starting to annoy him. "I'm challenging you. Use your talents. Don't hold back on my account." He pulled his knife free of the left arm cuff. Kakashi, in a rare moment of honesty, had left it under his pillow, returning it just as he had promised he would. "I'll be using this."

Naruto's eyes widened for a moment before narrowing into a squinty stare just as quickly. Sasuke couldn't seriously be planning to use a single knife, right? Yeah, it did catch the sun, so it was probably sharp. But it was only a few inches long. "I keep telling you, I heal really fast. I mean really, really fast. Especially from stuff like cuts."

Sasuke stared, his cold and blank expression shifting slowly into a dark half smile, "Then you should live through this."

Naruto saw Sasuke's eyes flash red, giving him a few seconds' notice before he found himself lying on his back with something sharp digging into his neck. He blinked dazedly, just as the first warm trickle crept down to his collar.

'What...?'

'I told you he was fast,' Kyuubi drawled, sounding faintly amused and very casual.

Sasuke face eased into Naruto's line of sight. Naruto blinked at him.

'If I just got knocked down, why is he the one glaring?' Naruto murmured, only now realizing what had happened.

Sasuke gave the stunned blonde a derogatory sneer, "Does it count as a 'pin' if a weapon is touching you, but not the person holding it?"

"Um," Naruto stared, "I don't think so."

"Good," said Sasuke. He moved away, shaking a few drops of blood off his blade and watching as Naruto finally started getting up. He could see the way that small wound he had made was closing itself. There was a thick throb of that ruddy energy and tiny wisps of steam, as if the cut were hot to the touch. He didn't have to feel his blade to know the wound hadn't been that hot when he had first cut him. Not instantaneous healing, then. Naruto was glaring now. Sasuke felt that smile tug at his mouth again. He could have ended the fight just then, simply by touching him, and Naruto knew it.

"Defend yourself," Sasuke said, graciously giving an advance warning this time. He approached him slowly, openly, with his hand curved so the blade of his knife pressed lightly against the inside of the cuff on his wrist. Naruto tensed the closer he got, then lunged at him. Sasuke waited till he was almost within reach. He dropped to the ground again and calmly swept Naruto's feet out from under him. If it had been anyone else, he would have tossed the knife at his exposed back. But he had already decided not to cut up Naruto's clothing. While Iruka might not recognize blood stains, he would surely notice tattered clothing.

Naruto's reaction was quicker this time. He caught himself on his arms before his face could meet the grass. He twisted around, aiming a kick at Sasuke, who was still crouched behind him. A frustrated growl started in his throat when he missed by a good foot and a half. Now he knew how that bulky moron had felt when he had beaten the guy as if he were standing still. Compared to Sasuke, he was ungainly. Not tall enough to get the reach he wanted, not light enough on his feet to manage that graceful speed. And Kyuubi wasn't being the least bit helpful.

'Stop laughing!' Naruto snarled at the snickering fox. 'Whose side are you on?'

He shoved off, momentarily forgetting his decision not to punch Sasuke when Iruka wasn't handy to heal the scrawny guy if he accidentally broke him. He feinted to the left, legs braced enough so no simple kick would budge them. Sasuke snicked to the side, avoiding his outstretched hand and lining his face up for a perfect punch. Naruto put his full weight into the blow. And he cried out when his knuckles met with the sharp end of the knife three inches shy of Sasuke's face. He froze, absolutely sure the blade had sliced through his hand all the way to his wrist. No blow he had gotten in any of his sparring matches had hurt like this. Sasuke was just watching him, blank faced, left hand holding his wrist from beneath, the right holding that knife in an underhanded grip.

Kyuubi relented at the numb panic that was holding Naruto immobile. 'He didn't cut through your hand, he just sliced the skin off your knuckles. I can't heal it with the knife still embedded. Pull free and hit him while he's waiting for your reaction. It doesn't hurt any more than punching a brick wall would.' There was a tiny hint of sympathy in his tone. Mostly he felt satisfied. Naruto had no more concept of real pain than he did real speed. Sasuke was proving to be a good introduction for him.

Naruto obeyed without thinking it over. His hand still felt like it was on fire, or cut in half down the middle. He couldn't block it out, so he used the pain the same way he used his weight, throwing it all into a left handed punch that clipped Sasuke's right arm just above the belt over his elbow. He heard a sound then that made his lunch heave into his throat. A muffled crack mixed with the wet sound of that blade cutting the rest of the skin off his knuckles. He could feel it scraping bone as it jerked itself free, blood splattering out to speckle his left arm. Kyuubi immediately surged forward, turning the pain into a hot itchy sensation that was nearly as bad.

'Want me to take over?' asked Kyuubi.

Naruto almost let him. Then he caught sight of Sasuke standing off to the side. He was holding that knife in his left hand now, but he was watching, waiting, still looking so darkly amused that Naruto wanted nothing more than to knock that look off his face. Sasuke was playing with him, taunting, dragging this out when clearly he could have pinned him a dozen times over already. As tempted as he was to let Kyuubi beat the jerk into the ground, that would be admitting he couldn't beat Sasuke himself. There was no way.

Kyuubi sniffed at the sudden blaze of stubborn pride. Naruto was good at learning skills through practical usage, but they hadn't experimented enough for him to hold his own against a mutant as clearly experienced as Sasuke. And Naruto would never believe that until he the truth had been forced down his throat. It still wasn't like Naruto to be this much of a sore loser. 'He's testing you,' Kyuubi explained, as patiently as he could under the circumstances. 'Figuring out the limits of your healing abilities. That's the reason he's using that knife instead of a more deadly attack. I told you, he won't fight all out until he knows how strong we are.'

'Playing with me!' Naruto growled, 'That's what he's doing!'

Sasuke's eyes narrowed when Naruto suddenly lunged at him again. He had seen the way Naruto had reacted to the sudden pain earlier, his face turning ash white, those blue eyes widening until he looked so innocent Sasuke felt disgusted for ever having starting this. Then he remembered his reasons. He had a choice. Find out how seriously he could fight Naruto without endangering him, or stand down and let himself be 'pinned' again and again until Naruto bored of the game. Frankly, he'd had just about enough of standing down and letting Naruto throw his weight around. He met the furious lunge with a careful swipe of his knife, right about eye level. Sure enough, Naruto pulled back with wide eyes, all of his attention locked on the glinting blade. Sasuke used the distraction to kick him down yet again. This time he followed, placing his left hand on Naruto's forehead before the boy could roll himself back up.

"Pinned," said Sasuke. Naruto gaped in outrage, and Sasuke let his own dissatisfaction show on his face. "It's not much of a fight, is it? If you want to fight me, come with the intent to injure if not kill. I can't fight someone I'm afraid to hurt. You can't best me if you're afraid to use your strength." Naruto's mouth moved as if he was struggling for something to say. Sasuke cut him off, "That's my first condition. If you want to challenge me, fight me seriously because I'll be doing the same."

Naruto bristled, suddenly resenting the light hand on his forehead. As if Sasuke was so confident he would stay put that he didn't even need to hold him down. "And the other conditions?" he glowered.

Sasuke felt that amused smile pull at his mouth again. He thought he understood the way Naruto had smirked at him that time in the mud. There was something very satisfying about seeing an opponent blustering after being humiliated. He let his hand slide off Naruto's forehead, brushing a bit of his hair. Soft. And Naruto's expression went from frustrated to wide-eyed just as quickly as Sasuke's anger had turned to shock last night. How appropriate. Sasuke leaned close enough to give him the wrong impression.

"My second condition," Sasuke murmured, that smile glinting in his eyes. "If you want to kiss me," and his fingers casually brushed over Naruto's cheek until he was sure those sky blue eyes couldn't get any wider, "ask me."

Naruto gulped, all of his frustration and anger being replaced with breathless anticipation. He licked his lips nervously and let out a quiet, "Okay..."

"My third condition," and Sasuke was so close Naruto shivered from the breath on his face. His eyes slowly traced over Naruto's mouth before suddenly flicking up. "I'll call you whatever I want, usuratonkachi." He immediately stood up and turned away, calmly undoing the cuff on his right arm. Nearly a minute passed before Naruto sputtered.

"Asshole," Naruto blurted, gaping at Sasuke. He got to his feet and stared at the boy's back. He didn't know whether to be angry or amused at his own expense. Kyuubi was obviously settling for the latter, snickering away inside his head. Naruto sent him a sullen, 'Traitor.'

'Hardly,' Kyuubi drawled back.

'Seemed like it,' Naruto muttered, 'the way you were laughing at me instead of helping. Where do you get off laughing in the middle of a fight?'

'It's your own fault for not listening to me. I told you he was fast, confident, and dangerous. Don't underestimate him next time.'

'Whatever,' Naruto groused. 'You could have at least given me some claws to counter that knife of his.'

'You didn't ask,' Kyuubi pointed out.

Naruto bristled at that, 'I shouldn't have to! We were supposed to be fighting together! Instead you just sat back and laughed at me.'

There was a certain amount of hurt mixed in with the anger in that accusation. Kyuubi ignored it. 'I did help. I healed you and gave you freedom to use as much strength as you wanted.'

'Strength,' Naruto scoffed. 'Lot of good that did me.'

Kyuubi growled at the ungrateful tone. 'You broke his arm. If I had known you would be that reckless, I wouldn't have given you any freedom at all. I gave you free access to our strength and you used all of it in a thoughtless attack that could have killed him had it landed anywhere else. Be glad I know how well you learn from mistakes or I'd never let you fight on your own at all.'

Naruto barely heard the rest of that comment. He ran over to Sasuke and stopped just shy of grabbing his shoulder. Sasuke was crouched down, removing the cuffs from his legs. He didn't look like he had gotten a serious injury, but Naruto remembered the burn in the kitchen and knew that didn't mean anything. There was that cracking sound he had heard when he hit him. And Sasuke wasn't using his right arm. A sharp breath caught in his throat. Iruka wasn't home. Even if he were, he had told him again and again that he couldn't heal broken bones. "Sasuke? Is your arm...?"

Sasuke sent him a defensive glare, "It's-"

"Don't say it's fine!" Naruto cut him off. "Don't! You agreed! If you're hurt you have to say something so-" He stopped short. Get help. What kind of help could they get for a broken bone? That was serious! This wasn't like a scrape or a burn. He dropped his head, his hands curling into fists at his side as he clenched his teeth. "Damn it," he said in a small voice. "I'm sorry..."

'Hospital?' Naruto asked Kyuubi. The question came out weak and tentative. He couldn't forget the way Kyuubi had rounded on him. 'I should have been more careful. You were right. But...it's not like I can take it back, so...hospital?'

'That's a good idea,' Kyuubi said. There was no judgement on his part. He knew how well Naruto learned from his mistakes. The kid had a conscience that was almost sickeningly guilty when it came to hurting other people. As for him, he had known someone would get hurt from the moment Sasuke had pulled out his knife. This was why he had said Sasuke was too dangerous to spar with. Dangerous for them, and for himself.

"Moron," Sasuke called, breaking Naruto from his guilty pose. The blonde turned to flash him a pained look. Sasuke tossed the small item he had plucked from the grass. Naruto caught it. Then Naruto looked at what he was holding, let out a horrified cry of disgust, and dropped it as if it were on fire. Sasuke snorted at the childish behavior. "It's your skin," he smirked darkly. "I cut it off you myself. Which is why you struck back, in case you forgot. I told you to defend yourself. There's no need to apologize for following my orders."

Just the way he said it was almost enough to make Naruto go off on him. The slimy feel on his hand where he had squeezed that nasty strip of bloody skin didn't help any. He grimaced and glared and furiously wiped his hand off on his pants. "That's disgusting. You don't throw stuff like that at people!"

Sasuke snorted in amusement. "Moron."

Naruto glowered at the insult. As strange and violent as the fight had been, he would definitely have to fight him again so he could reinstate the 'no calling me names' condition. "Yeah, yeah," he muttered. "We have to go to the hospital to get your arm looked at." A quick glare answered that. Naruto ignored it. He went over and prodded Sasuke on the back, ignoring the way he tensed and doubled his glare at the contact. "Better leave that knife in the house. I've never been inside the hospital here, but some of them have metal detectors and stuff."

"I didn't agree to go anywhere," Sasuke reminded him, his eyes narrowed into black slits. "Stop pushing me."

"Well, if you'd start walking, I wouldn't have to push you so much," Naruto sniffed. Sasuke grudgingly started walking toward the house. Naruto followed right behind, more than willing to push him again if he hesitated. "By the way," he said, in an attempt to lighten the surly mood. "About that second condition of yours. You said to ask, right? What if I did ask?"

"Right now?" Sasuke growled testily. "I'd say go to hell."

"I knew it," Naruto glowered. "You'd think I was torturing you, making you go to a hospital to get help. They're not so bad."

"I hate hospitals," Sasuke spat. "All they'll do for a minor break like this is bind the area. I can do that myself."

Naruto raised an eyebrow, "You've had breaks before?"

"Too many to count."

"Damn," Naruto blinked in surprise. He quickly squashed the macabre interest that reared up at the idea. This break was his fault and that wasn't the least bit cool. "Well, I haven't had any breaks that I couldn't heal on my own, but I've been to a lot of hospitals. Don't worry, I'll get us in and out as quickly as possible." And hopefully the bill wouldn't be too outrageous. Iruka-sensei was already going to kill him, either outright or by guilt tripping him to death. He sighed again. "I really am sorry, you know."

Sasuke gritted his teeth, "Stop saying that." His eyebrow twitched. "And stop poking me. Do it again and you'll find out if regrowing a finger is as easy as regrowing skin. I doubt it is."

"Egh," Naruto grimaced. He suddenly noticed the white-knuckled grip Sasuke had on that knife of his. He drew his prodding hand back. "Okay, okay, I won't poke you. No blood in the house, all right? I'll have enough trouble just washing it out of my clothes." Not to mention that the pain of having a little skin cut was bound to be nothing compared to an actual amputation.

'He's kinda scary,' Naruto murmured. 'Think he'd really do it?'

'Definitely,' Kyuubi hummed, sounding very pleased with the idea. 'I really like him.'

'You would.'

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Iruka took mincing steps along the strewn floor. Years of decay had turned the occasional white puffs of cotton on the factory floor into brown clumps like soggy tumbleweed. Most of whatever mess had been left when the factory closed was hidden by dark and dust. A few scratchy skittering sounds behind the abandoned machines explained where the rest of the refuse had gone. Nests. Rats the size of dogs and spiders the size of rats. Mold and damp and dust all rotting in the stagnant air until he didn't even want to imagine what his hair smelled like. This was no place for people, let alone injured children. He suddenly appreciated how much work Tenka must have done to make the upstairs so inhabitable if it had started out as bad as this.

The toe of his shoe nudged something that promptly nudged back before casually waddling over his foot and under a hulking machine with a dust coated conveyor belt. Iruka almost swallowed his tongue. Not the size of dogs, he decided, doing his best not to gag. That...thing...had more in common with a pig. What could they have been eating over the years to get so fat? And what the hell was he doing stumbling around down here with nothing but a half dead flashlight and a puppy?

Iruka turned his flashlight in a low sweep, doing his best not to shiver when the shadows squirmed just outside the beam. A large fluffy white dog came panting around the side of the conveyor. Iruka greeted it with a weak smile. He had never been good with dogs. Particularly large dogs. He suspected he had been bitten as a child. Any dog taller than his knee made him uncomfortable. Akamaru, despite his owner's claim that he was still a puppy, reached mid-thigh. The dog didn't share any of his hesitation. It trotted over and sat at his feet, a lolling grin of triumph on its furry face. Iruka forced himself not to focus on the gleaming teeth too much.

"Did you find them?" Iruka whispered. The dog grinned up at him, wagging its tail. He winced and waved a hand, gesturing for his 'guide' to lead the way. For a moment there, he had half expected the dog to answer him. He blamed that on Pakkun. Just when he thought he knew everything he needed to know about mutants, in came a talking dog.

Akamaru turned and trotted off, his fluffy tail still wagging happily behind him. Iruka followed until the dog darted under a work table. There was another scuffling sound, bigger this time, and a sharp cry of alarm. Iruka crouched down just in time to get knocked over as the big puppy yiped and took off. His hand came down in the middle of something damp and squishy, and his flashlight clattered and rolled to a stop. The beam caught the side of a small dirt smudged ankle that was promptly pulled out of the light.

"Go away!"

Iruka firmly ignored the mess on his hand, just wiping it off on his pants. He picked up the flashlight and aimed it off to the side so it illuminated the girl without blinding her. She was a mess. He had expected as much from what Bunchu had told him, but the cobwebs and dirt she had collected from sneaking around down here made it look even worse. He sat down on the floor, folding his legs comfortably as if he were just as calm in her chosen hiding spot as she obviously was. She had been gone for over a day, after all. It would take a little talking to convince her out.

"Your friends are worried about you, Sakura," he said quietly. "Kiba has had Akamaru looking all over for you."

The girl recoiled, her smudged face twisting. "Don't call me that! And they're not my friends, they're freaks! Every one of them! That three-eyed one is the worst. Telling me to do it myself - if I could do that, don't you think I would have done it instead of asking for help? And don't even get me started on Dog-Boy. I swear, if that mutt comes near me one more time, I'll shove her fingers right up its nose! They're not mine, so what do I care?" She grimaced suddenly, a hand clenching in her hair. "Shut up! I'll rip it out, I swear I will! Every last strand! See if I don't! Just stop it, already, I don't care if-"

Iruka reached out and placed a light hand on the girl's wrist, just as she started pulling the fistful of pink hair, "Ino?"

That distracted her quite nicely. She flinched and looked at him in surprise.

Iruka took his hand back and gave her a softly disapproving look, "I'm sure Sakura isn't any happier with this than you are. Fighting each other won't help."

"She never shuts up!" Ino blurted, her face twisting in frustration. "Never! And she blames me - as if I asked for this to happen! Like I'd choose to be stuck in this big foreheaded small breasted body of hers in the first place. Cotton candy haired bitch!"

"Ino," Iruka said sharply. "I'd like to help you. Both of you. I can't do that if you're attacking each other."

She gave him a sullen look. "How can you help? I've seen you around, healing people. I'm not injured. I'm stuck in the wrong body. With a shrieking freak attacking me every time I open my mouth." She waved a sarcastic hand at her temple, "She's doing it right now."

"She can hear me," said Iruka. It wasn't a question. He pursed his lips, taking on a curiously polite expression. "Sakura, would you like to have Ino sharing your body for the rest of your life?"

A dumbfounded look passed over the girl's face. It held for a long moment before melting into a cringing wince. "Now she's crying..." She shot a reproachful glare at Iruka. "Why did you say that? This is even worse than having her yell at me!"

"Well," Iruka smiled gently, "I'm sure it won't come to that. Sakura, I'd like you to pay close attention to what I'm saying. If you have something to say in response, tell Ino and she can tell me. I take it you've been trying to force her out of your mind. That won't help either of you concentrate. Ino, the reason Bunchu couldn't help you is because you are not in your own body at the moment. His talent uses the talents of others. You, while inside Sakura, don't have access to your talents, because you don't have access to your own body. If he could have helped you, he would have. It just doesn't work that way. I know how frustrating it can be having another personality in your mind. I know someone with a similar...problem. The most important thing is to remain calm and work together. First, Ino, I need you to come back upstairs so we can do this near your body. If you were to separate from Sakura now, you might never find your way back. I'm sure Sakura doesn't want that any more than you do."

"Yes, she does," Ino sniffed. "She just said so. Loudly." She glowered for a moment, then made a face. "She says she'll cooperate as long as there's a chance of it working. I can tell you right now it won't last long. She said that when I first got stuck in here, too. Two days later she was a raving lunatic. Oh, shut up, you were, too."

Iruka backed up, lighting the way as the girl crawled out from under the table. "How did you get stuck in her mind in the first place?"

"Oh, that," Ino sniffed. She raised a hand to brush the hair over her shoulder and stopped half way through the gesture, as if she had just remembered it wasn't her own hair. Her nose wrinkled and she dropped the hand. "I figured out I was a mutant a year ago. Started with dreams, one of those 'out of body' things you read about in the tabloids. Then one day I was spacing out, looking at this guy and the next thing I knew I was in his head and my body was slumped right where I had been sitting. That was different from this, though. I didn't actually hear him at all while I was in there. And when I wanted to get back all I had to do was think about how much I needed to get back to my body quick before someone noticed what I had done."

"And eventually you got caught," Iruka finished, with a sigh. "That happens a lot."

"Does it?" Ino frowned. "I never heard about it. My dad was the one who caught me doing it. He thought it was something I could make money off of. I'm still not sure how. Anyway, a few weeks later this woman showed up at the house. She said I was going to some institute to learn how to control my talent better, because it was 'potentially dangerous' if I just did it on my own." She shot Iruka a dark look, more exasperated than upset. "I think my dad sold me out. That's the sort of thing he'd do in a drunken stupor and not think about till he had the cash in hand."

"I'm sorry," said Iruka.

Ino shrugged and made another aborted gesture toward her hair. This time her hand curled when it stopped halfway. She huffed and dropped her arm. "Anyway, they had me experimenting with people they brought in. Mutants, because I had never tried it on them before. It wasn't actually that bad until Sakura. There's something really wrong with her head, among other things." She grimaced suddenly, as if a very loud noise had erupted right beside her ear. When it passed, her expression was tired and annoyed. "She doesn't want me to tell you anything about her. Says you can wait and ask her yourself. Do you think you'll actually get a chance to do that?"

"I'm certain of it," smiled Iruka. "In the meantime, would you mind telling me why you dislike Kiba so much? He has been especially helpful in finding you."

"Him," Ino bristled. "It's because he talks to his dog. What kind of guy treats his dog better than people? They tried to get me to try it on a dog once. Can you believe that? Bad enough I had to go into the heads of the freaks they picked up, at least they were people. Who would even want to know what goes on in a dog's head? They're dogs! Animals! And Dog-Boy had the nerve to tell me to respect his mutt - when I don't even respect him! There's no way."

Iruka forced back a smile, "I take it you haven't met Pakkun, yet..."

"Who?"

"A talking mutant dog."

Ino froze mid-step. "You're not serious."

"I'm afraid so," Iruka smiled. "From what I understand, he was a normal dog who was turned into a mutant dog as intelligent and capable of speech as a human. He's...very interesting."

Ino shook her head in disgust. "I had no idea mutants were such freaks."

Iruka winced and reminded her, as gently as possible, "You're a mutant as well."

"What?" Ino blinked, pulling an exasperated face. "Don't I look like a freak to you? I've got pink hair. And it isn't even mine!" She shook her head, gave another tired sigh, and marched off ahead of him. "I know I'm as much a freak as the rest of them. That doesn't mean I have to like it."

.-.

Sasuke sent a sharp look over his shoulder when Naruto joined him on the roof. It was the way Naruto did it that caught his eye. One claw-tipped hand catching the edge, that roiling red energy thickening as if it were sticking to the surface, and then a boost the rest of the way up so he landed in a light crouch. Sasuke took one long look with the sharingan, certain he would be able to mimic and perfect that ungainly use of energy. Then he turned away. He had been expecting Naruto to follow him, or fall out the window in the attempt. Naruto hadn't said anything for the last six minutes. He had cut himself off mid-rant and lapsed into suspicious silence. Sasuke had immediately decided Naruto had finally figured out a way to follow him. He had ranted for too long to have given up that suddenly. Sasuke wasn't surprised to see him. And he had nothing more to say now that they were both on the roof than he had when the idiot had been yelling up at him from Kakashi's open window.

His stance was simple. Hospitals made him sick. Unless he was unconscious, no one would get him into one. He had never considered hospitalization when he'd agreed to 'get help'. Naruto had specifically named Iruka as the potential 'helper'. That was the agreement. Besides that, he had already explained that the injury wasn't complicated. Kakashi kept plenty of supplies, which Sasuke had used the moment he got upstairs. He had bound his arm and would keep it braced as long as necessary. It wasn't a problem. His fingers weren't discolored, he had no pinching pain so the nerves hadn't been damaged, there was no looseness or dislocation in the bone itself, little swelling at his elbow - which was the one thing he had worried about with the blow having landed so close to the joint - and honestly, it didn't hurt that much. He didn't even have to use the sharingan to ignore the pain. It was uncomfortable, slightly nauseating, but entirely ignorable. Naruto was making a fuss over nothing.

The continued silence made him send another look at Naruto. He was still right where he had landed, looking oddly comfortable in a squatting position, one palm flat on the roof between his feet, the other arm bent over one knee so the fingers could drum his other knee. He was staring at him. No, not just staring, squinting and scowling so that his eyes were narrow glints in his whiskered face. Sasuke blinked. The pose, the squint, the drumming fingers, and mostly the pouting frown combined to make an interesting picture. It was almost...cute. A slow smirk pulled at his mouth. It was cute. Amusing. He liked knowing that he was the one who had annoyed Naruto so much.

"Hey," Sasuke called. "Come here."

He waved a hand at the spot beside him. Naruto's expression cleared for a brief moment of surprise. Then that scowling pout was back twice as strong. Sasuke barely kept the amusement off his face. He waited until Naruto joined him, flopping to the roof and stretching his legs out comfortably before resuming his pouting scowl. Sasuke handed him the roll of cloth he had used on his arm.

"Wrap a layer of that around your wrist," said Sasuke. "As tight as you can without cutting off circulation."

If possible, Naruto's eyes got narrower. "Why?"

"Because," Sasuke said calmly, as if he weren't sneering inside at Naruto's denseness, "you obviously don't know the first thing about self defense. You seem to be under the impression you could disable me with a single blow." Naruto's mouth shot open and Sasuke cut him off by shoving the roll into his hands. His tone was scathing. "You couldn't. You didn't this time and now that I've seen some of your potential, you'll never manage even that much in the future. Shut up and learn something."

Naruto scowled and grudgingly wrapped the bandage over his wrist. His movements were clumsy from inexperience and distraction. "You're just being an asshole so I'll stop feeling guilty," he muttered. His tone implied it was working.

"No," Sasuke sniffed, "I'm being honest so you'll stop insulting me like the moron you are." If it also happened to alleviate the guilt that was making Naruto so annoying, well, all the better. He reached over and took the roll, leaving nearly a foot of cloth between them. Naruto flicked a look at him when he activated the sharingan. "Now," Sasuke frowned, "try to tear that off your arm."

"What?"

"You have claws, don't you?" Sasuke's frown deepened. He had expected Naruto to use them during the fight earlier, instead of coming at him bare handed. He couldn't lend his knife for this. Naruto wouldn't know how to protect it from being chipped or shattered. "Use them to cut the cloth. You can use them any time you want, can't you?"

Naruto squirmed, hesitated, and looked everywhere but at Sasuke. "Of course I can," he mumbled, "I just don't see the point." His energy flared for a second, roiling and waning, and then condensing until it was barely visible. Naruto shot a stubborn glare at the bandages, "I don't need to do that to tear them." He curled his right hand into a claw and scratched carelessly at the cloth. Then he froze with a ridiculously dumbfounded look on his face.

Sasuke made it a point not to smirk when the blonde abruptly started tearing and pushing and picking at the little strips of bandage wrapped over his arm. He didn't know why Naruto was so reluctant to use his talents. Watching him learn the hard way was entertaining, though. He had no intention of analyzing exactly why he found Naruto's stubborn childishness entertaining. He just did.

"What did you do?" Naruto blurted. He was huffing in frustration, looking from the bandages to Sasuke and back again. "It's like they're solid or something."

"I reinforced it," Sasuke explained. This time some condescension made it into his voice. "Like I did with the thread last night. If you could see my energy, you would understand. I can use it to coat whatever I touch. It's not permanent. It doesn't change the bandages themselves. It's not flawless," Kakashi had proven that more than once, "but it's useful in a fight. When you hit me earlier, I wasn't focusing on defense. I use enough on a regular basis that your attack was dampened to the point where the break was minor. In the future, I doubt you'd be able to do more than bruise me with that amount of strength. I can do this," and he withdrew his energy so the cloth was fluid once more, "so long as I have the energy."

Naruto was nodding, staring vacantly at his wrapped arm. Once again, Sasuke had the impression that Naruto was hearing something he couldn't. Having a silent conversation with himself. And there was that disturbing sensation of being watched, even though he could clearly see that Naruto wasn't looking at him. He tossed the roll into Naruto's lap and eased further away from him. Naruto unwrapped his arm and set the roll off to the side, never losing that distracted expression of his.

"It's not a specific talent," Sasuke said quietly. He was half surprised that Naruto didn't hesitate before looking up. He had wondered if Naruto would hear him over whatever he was already hearing in his head. And wasn't that a disturbing thought. "It's more a matter of manipulating your energy. Mine isn't as versatile as Kakashi's, but I have less of it, so I can concentrate it on simple things better than he can. You have too much energy. I can see it," and he glanced over, his eyes narrowing on the restrained way Naruto's energy was hugging his body. "You're holding it back. Earlier, when you healed yourself, you concentrated it at the point of injury. It was too thick, sluggish. You don't have any control. If you're capable of healing yourself, it should be instantaneous. And the rest of the time it was just there. You weren't even using it..."

Was he jealous? Sasuke frowned at the field visible over the trees. He didn't think he was jealous. From that one glimpse in the kitchen, Naruto might have more energy than anyone he had seen since that blonde man in Russia. But it was useless if he couldn't control it. In Sasuke's situation, having too much energy would be even worse than having too little. He had too many talents that relied on having complete control over his energy. Just a tiny bit too much and it could explode in his face. And that was literally, in the case of his more incendiary talents. No, not jealous, then. Resentful, maybe. Naruto had a talent that was possibly enviable, and instead of using and mastering it, he was suppressing it and hiding it away like a dirty secret. Sasuke had met a few mutants like that during his travels with Kakashi. He couldn't understand that mindset. He would rather not have been a mutant himself, but once he had become one he had accepted that. Like the past, it couldn't be changed, so he might as well make the most of it. But then, he didn't care what other people thought of him.

"You were excited," Sasuke murmured, staring vaguely at the distant fields and remembering that wince-worthy roll in the mud, "about experimenting. All sorts of ideas and tricks that you thought you could do but hadn't figured out yet. You'll never figure them out if you hold back right when you should be going all out."

"Yeah..."

Sasuke snapped a quick look at him. Naruto's tone was strange. His expression was even stranger. He was wide-eyed, chewing on his lip, leaning forward a little, and staring at him in a way that made Sasuke distinctly nervous. He looked excited, nervous, breathless with anticipation, eager and reluctant, all rolled into one. And his eyes were muddying blue and red, until they were almost purple. Sasuke stared, tensing and preparing himself to ward and counter any attack that might follow.

"Sasuke," Naruto mumbled, blinking those odd colored eyes.

"...what?"

"I want to introduce you to someone," Naruto said, in a rush, as if he were hurrying before he could second guess himself, and swallow the words for good. "But before that...can I kiss you?"

"Now?" Sasuke blurted.

He immediately wished he hadn't, watching the way Naruto's face pulled into a fleeting grin. It was a stupid reaction on his part. He shouldn't have been caught off guard by the question. And, honestly, it wasn't as if he were adverse to the idea. He had planned his conditions out with the assumption that Naruto would ask. His own reaction last time had been mortifying and entirely unexpected. He didn't even know if he had reacted because of the situation, the kiss, the physical contact, or Naruto himself. Like school, this was another aspect of 'normal life' that he had missed over the years. The point of staying here was to get some of that back. And Naruto was convenient. That should have bothered him more. It didn't because Naruto was clearly interested in him for the same reason. Because he was there. They didn't know each other well enough for it to be anything else. So it was safe. Nothing would change between them because there was nothing to change. It was just a kiss. People did that on the streets all the time. Some people, like Kakashi, did a whole lot more than that on a daily basis. It wasn't a big deal and he had already considered all of this last night, so all he was doing now was stalling.

Sasuke snorted softly, more at himself than Naruto, who was still waiting with that eager yet hesitant expression on his face. "Fine."

Naruto beamed and scooted closer, putting a hand on his shoulder and then frowning at it as if he were afraid even that light touch might bother his arm. Sasuke rolled his eyes in exasperation. How could anyone like that make him nervous? He considered reminding Naruto that he was not made of glass, no matter what the idiot seemed to think. He didn't get a chance to. As soon as Naruto was satisfied with his grip, he leaned forward. Only he didn't aim for his mouth. Their cheeks brushed lightly, then Naruto nuzzled the side of his neck. Sasuke tensed.

"What are you doing?" he asked, and if his voice wavered a little, he didn't care.

"Kissing you," Naruto mumbled, as if it should have been obvious. "Obviously."

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched. Redundant little shit. He was five seconds away from punching him off the roof. His left hand rose to catch Naruto's shoulder, fully intending to shove him back and then pummel him thoroughly. This wasn't the kind of kiss he had given permission for. Obviously. This was disturbing. Who would want someone breathing right on his skin, especially his neck? He could practically feel the goosebumps breaking out on his arms. A moist heat joined the breaths and lips and any thought of pushing, punching, and pummeling went right out of his head. It was all he could do to suppress a shiver. Still disturbing, but...maybe that was the point. And maybe it really was Naruto that made him react, because he was positive he would never have stood anyone so much as touching his neck, let alone doing...this. Regardless, this wasn't what he'd had in mind at all. It wasn't even-

A hint of teeth ghosted over his skin and Sasuke reacted so fast that if he had been using his right hand, he would have broken Naruto's clavicle. As it was, his grip tightened and he shoved, holding him at an arm's length away, his expression livid behind a startled blush. Naruto let out a surprised cry and blinked dazedly at him. The fact that he was also sporting a blush did nothing to soothe Sasuke's temper.

"What?" Naruto blurted. "What did I do?"

Sasuke stared at him, searching for even the tiniest hint of guilt on his seemingly confused face. "Were you trying to bite me?"

Naruto fidgeted and suddenly became very interested in the part in Sasuke's hair. He fairly radiated innocence. "No."

"Are you lying?" Sasuke asked quietly. The 'fess up or I'll kill you' didn't even need to be said out loud. They were three feet from the edge of the roof. If he aimed his kick accurately, Naruto would land right on one those convenient rocks of his. And Sasuke's aim was always accurate.

Naruto huffed and glowered, that narrow eyed pout taking over his face once more. "Come on," he sighed. "I wasn't gonna bite you. I was just...nibbling a little. You said I could kiss you. I asked and everything, and you didn't even let me finish..."

Sasuke's response was scathing, "I said you could kiss me, not...chew on me." And Naruto called Kakashi a pervert.

"Okay, okay," Naruto grimaced, "I'm sorry. I didn't know it would bother you that much."

Another involuntary eye twitch met this statement. Sasuke wondered fleetingly if he had actually overreacted. Then he dismissed the notion. He wasn't the epitome of normal, clearly, but neither was Naruto if he honestly thought kissing could be equated to chewing on a person's neck.

"I promise not to nibble anymore," Naruto sighed, wistfully. Then he flashed a hopeful smile, "So, can I still finish?"

Sasuke blinked. "What?" He couldn't be serious.

"Kissing you," Naruto explained. "I was working my way up to your mouth, but you stopped me before I got there."

He was serious. Sasuke stared at the unfazed blonde, too bemused to so much as raise an eyebrow. "Were you dropped on your head as an infant?" Because that might explain a few things.

"Maybe," Naruto shrugged. "I wouldn't know. Anyway, you probably won't let me kiss you again, even if I ask, so can I at least finish this time?"

"On the mouth?" Sasuke asked, because the moron was right. He had no intention of ever saying yes again no matter how nicely the perverted nibbler asked permission.

"Yeah."

Sasuke gave him a suspicious look, "If you try anything else, I'm throwing you off the roof."

"Deal!" Naruto grinned.

The second Sasuke loosened his grip, Naruto darted forward, not giving him a chance to change his mind. Sasuke made a muffled sound before forcing himself to be still. This was what he'd had in mind earlier. Naruto wasn't nearly as hesitant as he had been last night, but maybe almost getting to chew on his neck had made him more bold. Or maybe it was the fact that he knew he wouldn't get another chance unless he pinned him in a fight. Whatever the reason, while this kiss was quite different from the last one, Sasuke's own reaction wasn't. Either it was Naruto or he had an oral fetish. There was another disturbing thought.

Sasuke caught a hand in Naruto's thick hair, closed his eyes, and kissed back. Tentatively at first, because he had no idea what he was doing. Then Naruto moaned into his mouth, a needy melting sound that did wonders for his confidence, not to mention his arousal. All thoughts, disturbing or otherwise, were shoved unceremoniously to the back of his mind.

.-.

"There's no other way." Iruka knew he sounded fatalistic. That was the way he felt, after all. But it was the truth. He had done everything he could to help the girls. They were entirely willing to be helped, and Sakura in particular was quite helpful when she set her mind to it. The closest he had come to 'exorcising' Ino was to get her free enough to lose contact for a few seconds. She had immediately come back terrified, claiming that she had been nowhere for hours. He had been forced to lull them into sleeping it off. He couldn't risk having Ino try again, even if she had been willing, because he knew exactly where she had ended up.

"She was lucky she found her way back," he said, in a quietly sober voice. "Her talent was never meant to be sustained for this long."

"Her vitals are stable," Bunchu stated. "The immediate danger isn't worth the risk."

Always the voice of reason. Iruka pressed his lips tightly together and waited for his immediate rebuttal to die down. Vehemence didn't work with Bunchu. He would see through it. He wouldn't even bother to argue with someone who wasn't thinking rationally. Once again, Iruka looked at him with admiration and distaste.

Bunchu was too big. Iruka had always thought so. He was too tall, his shoulders too broad, his build far too muscular to be as graceful as he was. He had been an intimidation when Iruka was younger. The fact that he had never raised a hand against either him or Tenka didn't matter. It was the sheer potential that had scared him as a teenager. Then there was the vertical slit in the center of his forehead. He never bothered to cover it, even in public. When the eye opened it was like being cornered, stripped naked, and held immobile while every single dirty secret was ripped out and bared for the entire world to see. Horrifying. It still amazed him that Tenka had the guts to go against his father, when that meant going against Bunchu as well. Just the idea of trying to manipulate the man made Iruka's stomach tie itself into knots. Yet despite all of that instinctive dislike, he couldn't help but be impressed by him.

Bunchu was a good person. Not in a vague way, like others said Iruka was a 'good person', but in a undeniable way. For all Bunchu's potential to pry, control, and hurt anyone who stood up to him, he wouldn't do it. Ever. It simply wasn't in him. The secrets he gleaned with his talents were never disclosed without just cause. His loyalties never wavered. He was completely selfless when it mattered most. The only weakness Iruka had ever found in him, if it could even be considered a weakness, was Hiko. Hiko made him human, in spite of his disturbing aspects and moral absolutes. And for all Bunchu's ability to see through people, even he couldn't explain what it was about his lover that affected him so much. He just did. And Iruka couldn't help but admire that.

"It's worth the risk," Iruka said, his tone as calm as before, but not quite as fatalistic this time. "She won't try again willingly, and you can't force her to. They have both been holding up well under the stress. They're young and resilient. But they're breaking."

"You can't be sure of that," said Bunchu. "You don't know how they were before, so you can't judge the changes now."

Iruka didn't falter this time. "I'm sure. You know I wouldn't attempt this if I wasn't." And Bunchu was fully capable of checking for himself if he honestly thought Iruka was lying. They both knew that.

"Hiko won't like it."

A wan smile broke on Iruka's face at that. Bunchu was honest to a fault, and always subject to that one weakness. Funny that the scariest person he knew could be so endearing at the same time. "No," Iruka smiled, "he won't like it at all. But it's my choice. I promise I'll take full responsibility if it goes badly. He'll bitch and moan for a few hours, and then he'll realize that if you hadn't helped me, I would have attempted it on my own and quite likely have gotten lost myself. By the time you come back with Tenka, he'll have finished taking his frustration out on me and won't have any left to bother you with."

Bunchu raised an eyebrow at that, "Tenka won't like it, either."

Iruka's smile widened peacefully, "Tenka has had you searching for him for the last seven months. I'm sure he'll survive being denied my company for a few days. Any other protests?"

"One," Bunchu said, not rising to the bait. "When was the last time you did this willingly?"

The smile slipped off his face as if it had never been. Iruka wondered briefly if this was Bunchu's way of scaring him into having second thoughts. Possible, but unlikely. Bunchu hadn't asked after him since he had come here, and Bunch hadn't had much contact with Hiko since Iruka had moved Naruto to Lyberday. This wasn't a question with an ulterior motive. Bunchu honestly didn't know.

"The drug works perfectly," said Iruka. "I've been on it since I left, straight up until I came here. You've suppressed it for me since then. The last I time I did this was six years ago, to wake Tenka from his coma. You were there that time, too."

"I see." Bunchu pushed away from the wall so he fairly towered over him. "Here or there?"

"There," Iruka said quickly. He had already relocated the boys bunking closest to Ino and Sakura, on the pretense of giving them more privacy. And Tenka had snuck out to check on the boy they had had taken to the hospital, since they still hadn't received any word on him. No one would notice if Iruka used one of the unoccupied cots. "This is necessary," he said, "but I'd still rather not go any farther than I absolutely have to."

"I see you're still as cautious as ever," Bunchu remarked, leading the way.

"Too cautious?" asked Iruka.

"As ever."

Iruka found his wan smile coming back. "I'm more comfortable with myself now. Otherwise, I haven't changed much over the years." He flashed a curious look up at Bunchu. "Did you think I would?"

"No."

"I'm glad to hear that."

.-.

Naruto wasn't aware of Kyuubi taking over. He was floating. This wasn't like the dream he had shared with the fox the other night, where he had been kissing Sasuke, touching Sasuke, doing things to Sasuke. None of that one-sided fantasy compared to having Sasuke kiss him back. Sasuke's hand was clenching tight in his hair, his body pressing into him of his own accord, and the way he used his tongue, so deliberate and confident, as if he knew exactly how to make him melt, all of it was a thousand times better than anything Naruto could have imagined on his own. So he let himself melt, and Kyuubi, who had been quite busy the last two days, quietly pushed him back into a warm cloudy corner where he could participate vicariously until he came to his senses. Naruto didn't even notice at first. Sasuke, on the other hand, noticed the second it happened. For all that Naruto and Kyuubi shared a body, and had a similar libido, the fox wouldn't recognize subtlety if it lurched up and bit off four of his tails.

Sasuke hadn't floated off like Naruto, but he was feeling a bit heady. They had been kissing for so long that he kept having to remind himself to breathe through his nose so he didn't asphyxiate. His first thought when Naruto suddenly took over the kiss was that the oxygen deprivation had left him more dazed than he realized, that he had messed up whatever he had been doing to make Naruto hum and melt into him. So he didn't protest or even hesitate at first. He was convinced Naruto was a far better kisser than him, anyway, no matter what gratifying sounds Naruto had made when Sasuke had taken over earlier. That was why he noticed the difference immediately. When Naruto had kissed him it was challenging yet soft, taunting but not pressuring. This was fast and rough, hurting his lips and pushing in as if he wanted to rape his mouth. Sasuke's eyes snapped open, wild and startled, fully expecting to see someone else kissing him like that. He was as shocked to see that it was still Naruto as he had been by the abrupt change in the way he was being kissed.

He hesitated. The kiss was still arousing, he couldn't deny that. But he didn't like it. It was too forceful, selfish even, too similar to the handful of stolen kisses he had experienced over the years, and he hadn't expected that from Naruto. There was no reason for that, trying to steal what he was giving freely. He had even participated. So why was Naruto acting like he had to get as much as he could before Sasuke pushed him away? This made him want to push away a lot faster than what they had been doing before. It bothered him. Not just because the contrast was so sharp it was disturbing, but because it felt as if Naruto was intentionally trying to make him regret having enjoyed himself a moment ago. And because it reminded him that he didn't know anything about Naruto. He had walked right into this.

He pushed, being careful not to hurt Naruto in the process. Even though he didn't like the sudden change, he couldn't really complain about it. He had given Naruto permission to kiss him. He had never specified what kind of kiss. It was disappointing, but he was at least partially to blame. He didn't get angry until a clawed hand closed over the back of his neck to keep him in place. Kissing him forcefully was one thing. Actually trying to force him was suicidal. Sasuke bit down deeply enough to taste blood, and to be sure Naruto would feel the pain before he could activate that not-quite-immediate healing of his. Then he jerked Naruto's head back and spat the blood in his face. As queasy as Naruto had been during their fight earlier, he fully expected him to scramble away.

Instead, a familiar grin crossed Naruto's face and vivid red eyes opened to glitter at him. Sasuke recognized it immediately. The couch, the kitchen, and that time he had watched Naruto slink down the hill as if he was a predator and Sasuke was his prey. The connection came fast - his instinctive reaction to this side of Naruto the few times he had seen it, Naruto's disturbing 'listening' pose as if he were hearing something only audible to him, the sensation of being watched when Naruto wasn't looking at him, and Naruto's rushed statement about 'introducing' him to someone.

"Who are you?" Sasuke growled, activating the sharingan and debating at lightning speed exactly how to disable this person without killing Naruto. Not that he wouldn't be paying Naruto back later for such a clumsy introduction.

"Kyuubi," the blonde said. He lifted his free hand to wipe the blood off his face, lapping it off his fingers so slowly Sasuke couldn't help but notice that his tongue was now completely uninjured. He grinned and leaned closer, ignoring the grip Sasuke had in his hair. Naruto was starting to wake up and it wouldn't take him long to find the trap door of that cozy little cage Kyuubi had pushed him into. He dropped his damp hand, slipping it into Sasuke shorts in a firm grip that was much more honest and blunt than any handshake. Sasuke froze in blatant shock. Kyuubi grinned wider, "Naruto was planning to introduce us, but you distracted him. It was so considerate of you to let him finish. You were enjoying yourself so much," and he twisted his hand firmly, wringing a squeak from the otherwise frozen boy, "you should have let me finish as well."

Sasuke suffered one long moment of frantic amazement that Naruto had remained so seemingly innocent with this pervert in his head. Then he snapped. His right hand closed over the groping wrist and crushed it mercilessly, not giving a damn at the sharp twinges that rippled over the break in his arm. Naruto, or rather, Kyuubi, hissed in pain and pulled free. Sasuke gave him a deadly jolt of electricity, courtesy of the hand that was still clenched in that blonde hair. That was enough to make the pervert reel back, claws scratching the back of his neck as that hand jerked away. Sasuke immediately kicked him off, with enough energy reinforcing the bottom of his sandals that it must have felt like being hit in the gut by an anvil. Then he had the momentary pleasure of watching the pervert fly off the roof and dig a groove in the muddy patch below. He had decided against throwing him on one of the rocks. This Kyuubi obviously had faster healing than Naruto. Instant death would probably still kill them both. Sasuke wasn't quite that angry. Not yet, anyway.

Sure enough, the blonde was moving mere seconds after he landed. Slowly at first, with that red energy flaring thicker and higher than Sasuke had ever seen it. Then he was on his feet and, the cheeky bastard, grinning up at him with what appeared to be approval. Sasuke raised an eyebrow at him, his own expression cold and not the least bit impressed.

"I'll fight you next time," Kyuubi called up at him. "You should have let Naruto chew on you. When I win, I'll enjoy sinking my teeth into you. Look forward to it. I know I will." Then he turned to the house, licking the hand that had curled around Sasuke with satisfaction. Deep inside a certain upstairs office, a telephone was ringing. He might as well answer it while Naruto was having a panic attack instead of trying to find that trap door in his freshly finished cage. Silly brat. The deadly one on the roof wasn't panicking, traumatized, or broken. Naruto really did worry way too much.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

The first coherent word Naruto managed was a strident 'why', followed by a horrified 'how could you'. Kyuubi gave a casual response before he could launch into more of the same. 'You'll have to calm down and envision the trap door if you want to get out of there,' Kyuubi informed him. 'The entire point of that cage is that it can't be affected from the outside when it's occupied.'

And then he smugly went back to ignoring Naruto for the moment. It was Naruto's own fault for handing him the reins. The kiss had been stimulating, sure, any sexual contact would have been stimulating. That hardly excused turning into a puddle of mush two minutes into it just because the dark brat knew how to use his tongue. Pathetic. 'Yes, you,' Kyuubi sniffed, when his thought made the muted clamor increase in volume. 'Feel free to stay in there. I'll be more than happy to take up where I left off when I'm finished here.'

Then he was lifting the phone, holding it a few inches away from his ear. It was a good thing he did, because the noise on the other end of the phone was even louder than the clanging of an outraged and caged Naruto inside his head. He bared his teeth at the double assault on his sensitive ears and growled a sharp, "Yes?"

"Umino Iruka?" a harried voice demanded. "Hello? Is this Umino Iruka?"

"No," Kyuubi snapped. "He's out."

"I need to speak with him," the man said quickly. "Or maybe I don't. It doesn't matter who. This is his house, yes?"

Kyuubi grunted. The phone had been ringing off and on since they had gone onto the roof, earlier. Now he was glad he hadn't mentioned it to Naruto. This man sounded as panicked and impatient as the brat in his head. Oddly enough, he could swear he heard actual bars clanging over the phone, in perfect sync with Naruto's efforts.

"And you take mutants? Young ones? Free of charge, no questions asked?"

Charging, Kyuubi sniffed. Now there was a thought. If other humans were as desperate as this one, Iruka could make a killing taking in unwanted mutants. Naruto stopped his fruitless banging in his cage and sent a blistering warning about not 'screwing up Iruka-sensei's plans' like the 'greedy fox' he was. Kyuubi ignored him.

"We take them here," Kyuubi muttered into the phone. His mouth pulled into a disgusted sneer as he added, "Free of charge."

"Great," the man sighed. "That's great. We've had him for a week now and no one will take him. He's driving the other inmates crazy, but we don't have anywhere else to put him. As far as we can tell, he's a complete loon - but he's not dangerous! Really, he's not dangerous, it's just - we can't let him out on the street and we can't keep him here. There's an institute in Wharthup we usually send our crazies, only they don't take mutants, so..."

"He'll fit right in here," Kyuubi drawled. Even Naruto couldn't argue with that.

An exaggerated sigh answered, "I'm so glad to hear that. We'll arrange an escort immediately."

The man went on with his thanks, rattling off names and information about the facility he was calling from, what they had on the kid in question, and how they had gotten the number in the first place. Kyuubi tuned him out, giving one more grunt when the man finally trailed off so he could hang up the phone. Then he sank down on the soft couch that took up the wall of Iruka's office and turned his attention to the brat in his head. Naruto was sitting in the middle of his cage, shoulders slumped, head down, all but exuding syrupy wafts of depressing colors. He didn't even look up when Kyuubi manifested himself in fox form on the other side of the bars.

'Gave up already?' Kyuubi prodded, half curious, half disappointed. 'That's not like you.'

'I didn't give up,' Naruto muttered. He folded his arms and glowered at them. 'Making a door is easy,' and he didn't even have to look up to imagine one opening right behind him, he could feel the shift in the air, 'but there's no point. You screwed it up. I was all set to tell him if you had just waited, but, no, you had to go and screw it up.' His voice sharpened as he sent a furious glare at the fox, 'And you don't even feel guilty about it!'

Kyuubi curled himself comfortably, dropping his head so they were closer to eye level, 'Guilty about what?'

'Doing that to me!' Naruto spat. Did the fox even have a conscience?

'I was doing things to him, not you,' Kyuubi pointed out, red eyes glinting with amusement. 'I didn't do nearly as much as I would have liked to. You should be grateful. I only held back on your account.' What did he need a conscience for when he had Naruto?

Naruto shot to his feet, stalking through the door he had created so he could rant at the fox properly. 'You were holding back,' he repeated sarcastically. Then he exploded, 'What the hell is wrong with you? How can you say you were holding back when you just - did that! You attacked him. With no warning, no reason. We weren't even fighting, and he was already injured and you just...!' He swallowed a gulp of air and stared at the unrepentant fox. 'How could you do that? What were you thinking?'

'I was holding back,' Kyuubi sniffed. He didn't mind having Naruto angry, frustrated, shocked. This was more betrayed and hurt, and he didn't care much for the implications of that. Surely Naruto knew him better than that by now. 'You know what I wanted to do to him, what I'm capable of. The main reason I didn't is because of you.'

Naruto's stomach twisted until he grimaced. It wasn't like he had forgotten. He could still remember the first time he had talked with Kyuubi, when the fox had smugly told him about the people he had killed, how he had enjoyed it, the rush and predatory pleasure he had taken from it. He hadn't forgotten. The stalking and mutilation dreams wouldn't let him forget entirely. But none of that had ever seemed real to him. It was all in Kyuubi's imagination, in his own forgotten past. He had never seen that aspect of Kyuubi firsthand, never wanted to see it firsthand. And so he had focused on the Kyuubi he had gotten to know over the years, snarky, sly, perverted, but basically an okay personality he shared everything with. Everything. Especially the few people he had become close to.

'You can't do that,' Naruto said quietly. 'Not to Sasuke. Not to someone we know. You wouldn't do that to Iruka-sensei.' And he firmly believed that, no matter what he knew about Kyuubi's darker side. Kyuubi valued Iruka every bit as much as he did and had from the start.

'Of course not,' Kyuubi growled. 'Iruka is off limits,' as he had acknowledged from the beginning. 'That has nothing to do with this. Don't jump to conclusions. I wasn't referring to mutilation or murder. You're overreacting.'

'I am not!' Naruto snapped. 'You attacked him! He was off guard because he trusted me and you took advantage of that. You just admitted you wanted to do something even worse - how am I supposed to react to that?'

Kyuubi's response was scathing, 'I did not attack him. If you were paying attention, instead of overreacting, you would have noticed that he struck the first and only blows. All I did was take up where you left off, making my intentions clear, which is more than you can say. Don't think for a second that I didn't catch you wavering the moment he kissed you back. You weren't going to tell him. Changing your mind without giving me any say in the matter? You should have known I wouldn't accept that after you specifically promised to tell him. If you want to play up a bleeding heart, consider how unfair it is for you to take advantage of him without telling him that I'm in here as well, having him every bit as much as you are, without him even being aware of my existence. I have no problem taking advantage, it's in my nature, but if you're going to do it yourself, don't spit indignant at me when I do the same.'

'It wasn't like that...'

'No?' Kyuubi drawled. 'What was it, then? You've had plenty of opportunities to tell him. I would have told him from the start. Now he knows.' He drew himself up, eyes glinting with smug approval. 'He took it well, better than I expected.'

'How can you say that?' demanded Naruto. 'He freaked! You saw how panicked he got when I kissed his neck and you went and - and...you know.'

Kyuubi gave a derogatory snort, 'If you can dream it, you can say it.'

'Groped him,' Naruto glared. 'Molested him,' because that was what it really came off as, 'right when he was actually relaxed a little. Yeah, maybe I was having second thoughts, but only because I knew you'd screw it up by being a horny pervert! I was still gonna tell him. I just wanted to wait until he was used to me before I sprung a mega-perv like you on him. And I was right! What did you do the second he saw you? Violate him so he tries to kills us to get you off!'

'Violating him would have gotten me off nicely,' Kyuubi pointed out. He continued while Naruto was too busy sputtering to think of a comeback. 'And he didn't try to kill us,' he sniffed. 'He was angry, not afraid. If he had panicked, we wouldn't be having this conversation. I have no interest in someone broken. He's not. He's twitchy, skittish, and I told you before that his reactions are wrong. Everyone who touches him is identified as a threat. As I said, I only held back on your account. He hesitated because of you, because you're not threatening. I am. And now he's aware of that. The next time we fight, he'll know better than to hesitate. And so will I.'

'You're not doing it again!' Naruto blurted. He could admit that Kyuubi had a point about him not telling Sasuke sooner. That was at least as unfair as Kyuubi coming out to molest him when he least expected it. And he did want the chance to fight Sasuke seriously. That was the reason he had decided to tell him, so he wouldn't feel guilty and uncomfortable letting Kyuubi really join him in a match. He still wasn't about to let Kyuubi mutilate him in a fight and that was just what the fox would do on his own. 'He's my friend. Well, sort of,' and he glowered a little, 'even if we don't get along half the time. I still like him. And I know you! You'll tear him up and then molest him and - and there's no way I'm letting you do that! He probably won't even speak to me now, let alone spar with me. Even if he did, I still wouldn't let you fight him without me!'

Kyuubi glared for a long while, staring him down. Then he shoved up and walked into the cage. It immediately shimmered until it was the same cushiony den he used most often. He had placed it there for that exact reason, convenience and comfort. Naruto bristled and turned toward him. Kyuubi didn't bother speaking until he had curled into a boneless ball.

'Keep telling yourself you'll be able to stop me if it makes you feel better,' Kyuubi muttered. 'I'm too tired to prove anything right now.'

'Tired?' Naruto stopped short. 'From what? Since when do you get tired?' Lazy, bored, moody, but never tired.

Kyuubi gave a helpless snort. 'He really distracted you well, considering it was his first time participating in a kiss. Did you even feel the injuries he gave us? Healing takes energy, brat, and I use too much on my own. Don't worry, a quick nap and I'll be as good as new. Next time I'll be sure to wear him down before I go in for the kill.'

'There's not gonna be a next time,' Naruto said quickly.

'Keep telling yourself that...'

.-.

Sasuke wanted to break something. The fact that there was nothing available to destroy made the antsy frustration that much worse. Any damage he did here would have repercussions if it were linked back to him. He couldn't simply vent and move on. Well, he could, but he didn't want to. What he wanted was to go inside, corner that...thing...in Naruto, and settle this. Seeing him walk away, apparently unscathed, listening to his parting taunt, and having to sit tight, knowing that whatever the personality was, it was still a part of Naruto. He wanted it over. He had been challenged and he had met that only to have his opponent - aggressor? - walk away as if he were in no more of a hurry to challenge him to a real fight than he had pretended to be with Naruto earlier. He was wound painfully tight now, desperate to get this over with and unwilling to make the first move himself. He had known better than to get involved in Naruto's issues. He had more than enough of his own to deal with. If he confronted him - them - right now, he would only be getting himself in deeper in a mess that he didn't want any part of.

He didn't know how to deal with this. The fighting, sparring, he had come to terms with. From Naruto's perspective, it was relatively harmless. Despite what he had said earlier, he had been sure Naruto would continue to hold back, that he would have to push him a little further each time, giving him a chance to perfect his own defenses until they were challenging each other without any real danger. Naruto healed fast and Sasuke had been adjusting his fighting style for years. It would be mutually beneficial. He didn't have any experience fighting someone with Naruto's strength, and even if Itachi never sent someone with that particular talent after him, there were other rogues to consider. It was a good opportunity for him to experiment with a different sort of opponent. Then there was Naruto, who had never fought a mutant and, by his own admission, had little control over his talent. Tricks he thought he could do but hadn't figured out yet? Sasuke had immediately thought of his own 'incorporation' stage, where he adjusted a newly copied talent and practiced until he could perform it himself. Knowing it was possible and knowing how to do it were two entirely different things. So he had understood Naruto's motivations and seen enough benefit on his end to support the idea of them fighting more in the future. All of that seemed meaningless now.

Split personality or not, that side of Naruto clearly had no need of him as a sparring partner. He had known Naruto was holding back, but he hadn't realized it was that much. Instantaneous healing. He hadn't even been able to see it. Naruto's energy had thickened at the point of injury when they had fought earlier, notably delayed, overdone, and easily trackable with the sharingan. What that 'Kyuubi' had done was immediate, possibly even automatic. If he could do that, why had he hesitated earlier when Naruto had obviously been in shock and pain? And how was he supposed to counter a talent like that?

That was another reason not to provoke a confrontation right now. He could adjust his energy well enough to counter the strength, but not indefinitely, certainly not against an opponent who could heal from every attack as soon as it landed. And if this other side of Naruto healed that much faster, there was no telling how much stronger he might be. He couldn't go into a blind fight with him. At best this 'Kyuubi' would adhere to the rules Naruto had given before, with a simple 'pin' equaling victory, in which case he would still have the speed advantage. At worst, he would be stuck defending against someone he couldn't land a lasting injury on until he slipped up. He knew what would happen then. The second his defenses fell, his instincts would take over and he would go for an instant kill. It was what he had been conditioned to do.

He stared fixedly at the trench Naruto's landing had dug in the 'garden' patch, at the ruddy orange energy still hovering sluggishly over the dirt. There were two faint smears of blood there, from the impact and from the wrist he had crushed. He had seen that once or twice, energy still wafting over a severed limb, unable to be reabsorbed for one reason or another. He had never seen so much for such a small amount of shed blood. The cynical part of him noted what a gross waste of energy that was. The rest was caught on the fact that Kyuubi had healed so quickly only two faint smears of blood had made it to the ground before the wounds had closed. That served to peak his already jangled nerves. And he suddenly caught what he had been too distracted, or focused, to notice.

Sasuke tensed, his teeth gnashing over a low growl, "Stop doing that."

He snapped a furious red glare back at the man standing a few feet behind him. No energy signature, no sound, no way of telling how long he had been standing there. How did he do that? And since when did Kakashi bother to wait to be noticed? Usually he would have touched him just to see him flinch and lash out. Or he would creep right up behind him until he could murmur some infuriating comment in his ear, as if Sasuke didn't already know the pervert had a death wish. Their eyes met and all of that paranoid frustration coiled until he couldn't stop himself from bristling. Kakashi was staring at him with a blank expression, sharingan locking with his own. Too familiar.

"What are you doing?" he asked, his tone quiet and deadly. His first thought was that it wasn't Kakashi at all, that the rogue from before had come back to influence his mind again. He hadn't felt this wary of Kakashi in years. Then the man sighed and he caught a sober frown beneath the mask.

"I was just looking at you," said Kakashi.

Sasuke managed a disgruntled glare, "Well, don't." Not with the sharingan. Not with such a blank face.

"Ah, sorry," Kakashi sighed, his tone far too casual. He pulled his headband down, covering the eye up. Then he went back to frowning at Sasuke. "Which one of them broke your arm?"

Sasuke flinched, instantly embarrassed, resentful, and livid. Naruto wouldn't have told Kakashi about his other 'personality' and not him, which meant Kakashi had picked it up on his own, while he hadn't had a clue. Worse still, Kakashi had been watching long enough to know that Sasuke now knew. If he had planned to tell him about Naruto's 'other side' he would have done it before he had left earlier. Which meant he had seen the kiss, and the rest. Bad enough he had to deal with Kakashi at all when he was already on edge. He didn't want to hear anything the nosy silent stalking pervert had to say after spying on them.

He forced a cool expression onto his face, his eyes narrowing. "How do you know it's broken?"

Kakashi flashed a faint smile at that, "You wouldn't have bothered to bind it, otherwise. And I'm sure you would have used your right arm sooner if the injury had been minor. He certainly heals fast," and his smile faded. "I didn't expect him to be so forceful, or I would have intervened."

"I don't need your help."

"True," Kakashi allowed, "you took care of it quickly enough after your initial shock. However, I-"

Sasuke shot to his feet, teeth clenched in frustration, "Shut up. I don't want to hear it."

"I specifically told him not to jump you," Kakashi finished, frowning at the roof as if he could see through it to the person in question, his tone as calm and casual as ever. "I'll have to have words with him. There is such a thing as being a little too eager." He flicked a curious look at Sasuke, catching him mid-step, and ignoring the promise of violence in the boy's stance. "Do you know you're bleeding?"

Surprise broke over Sasuke's face and he lifted a quick hand to the back of his neck. He grimaced when it came away sticky, the touch awakening a vague sting. "It's nothing," he muttered. "A scratch." And entirely worth having gotten the pervert off him so quickly.

"It's orange," Kakashi informed him. That faint smile returned when Sasuke made an expression of disbelief. "Just a little, but very noticeable when mixed with your energy, like oil and water. The wound is almost completely closed now. Which makes me wonder, if the fox's residual energy can help heal wounds he inflicts, does that mean Naruto is the one who broke your arm? Why would you let him do that? Sure, he might be good at necking, obedient enough to seek permission before making a move, but that's no reason to let him-"

A rush, more felt than seen, cut him off. Kakashi pulled to the side and caught a crackling fist in his left hand. He had helped Sasuke refine that particular talent, since he had copied a similar one himself. That Sasuke bothered to use it on him proved how disturbed he was. Kakashi happily diverted all of that paranoid frustration onto himself. As much as he disapproved of Naruto's, or rather the fox's behavior, he knew Sasuke didn't want to kill the kid. The fox, maybe, but not the kid. If he had, he would have done so instead of freezing on the roof for so long. Best not to let him go inside until he cooled down.

"Oh," Kakashi murmured, with a playfully guilty smile. "Did I touch a nerve? Or are all those years of sexual frustration finally catching up to you?"

"Stop spying on me!" Sasuke hissed. He wrenched free, aiming a round kick that Kakashi dodged with seeming ease. That served to frustrate him even more. Kakashi wasn't that much faster than him, he just had a way of moving that made it look more casual. He refused to admit that his own attack might have been less controlled than usual. It was difficult to focus when he was trying not to scream at the nosy bastard for making something uncomfortable a thousand times worse by talking about it. "Shut up and fight, or get the hell away from me."

Kakashi danced back, admiring the feathery way Sasuke skimmed over the roof. As if he were weightless, just like that pretty blonde. So that was where he had gotten his latest trick. He paused long enough to deflect a few blows, his energy absorbing the hits and giving the frustrated kid a chance to feel the impacts. Sasuke's arm was definitely going to hurt later. Reckless, as always. But he appreciated how much Sasuke needed to vent. Until the fox had made his appearance, things had been going so well Kakashi had felt obliged to avert his eyes. Despite what Sasuke believed, he had no interest in watching two teenagers make out. He had come back just in time to overhear Naruto's 'introduction' comment and so he had waited around to see how Sasuke reacted to the fox. About as badly as he had expected.

"Now, now," he said playfully, giving no evidence of the effort required to deflect Sasuke's attack. No sense inflating the kid's ego. "No need to get all bent out of shape over it. A few pointers never hurt anyone. I'm sure with a little practice you'll be fine having your neck nuzzled. You just have to teach him to leave hickies without using his teeth. Though, personally, I've always been rather fond of love bites. Spicy, you know, having a bit of sting to go with the heat."

A furious blush broke on Sasuke's face. Ah, so it really was a touchy subject. Kakashi winced and dove to the side, just as a jet of fire erupted where he had been. He rolled back to his feet, paused just long enough for a quick, "Iruka will be very upset if we burn the house down," and then flipped off the roof. Sasuke followed.

.-.

Iruka woke up disoriented. Everything was a sick yellowy blur that worsened when he tried to blink the stickiness out of his eyes. There was a splitting sensation in his temples and a swollen burn right above his neck that made his ears tingle strangely. The two erupted into one painful flare when a flat palm slid out of the shadows to knock him upside the head. He yelped. Then he grimaced as a furious face leaned over him, so close he recognized it despite the blur.

"That hurt," Iruka protested.

"Good! It was supposed to," said Tenka. "That's what you get for doing stupid shit the second I'm gone. Do you have any idea how I felt when I got back? I almost beat the hell out of that girl, I swear, if Bunchu hadn't held me back..."

"What-" Staring at that blurry face was giving him motion sickness. Iruka gulped and closed his eyes, "What went wrong? And why would you even be tempted to take it out on Ino or Sakura? It's certainly not their fault if I failed to help them."

Tenka was silent for a while. Iruka wondered if that should make him as nervous as it did.

"...what do you remember?"

That was always the first question asked. How he hated that question. He sighed and forced his eyes open. The blur didn't seem as bad this time. He could make out Tenka's outline standing beside the white of the cot. "My head hurts."

"No shit," Tenka snorted. "That's not what I asked."

Iruka sighed and forced himself to think about it. As painful as it was to think at the moment, it was better than having Tenka whack him on the head again. The years hadn't taught him much in the way of restraint. "Bunchu had to put me to sleep. I couldn't calm down enough on my own." That had been embarrassing. Every time he started to doze, he would remember what he was about to do and it snapped him awake again. Eventually he had been forced to ask Bunchu to knock him out. One queasy look at the man's third eye and he had dropped into absolute black.

"And?" Tenka prodded, already having heard Bunchu's side of it.

"Black. Sensory deprivation. Drifting." He would never be able to say how long that had lasted because, as Ino had discovered herself, a few seconds 'nowhere' seemed like an eternity. Iruka felt himself grinding his teeth. His head hurt too much to shiver right now. "Then a push. That must have been Bunchu. I couldn't tell." A hint of disgust tinted his tone, "I'd already forgotten what I was supposed to be doing." Not that it really mattered. His instinct to help always took over, with the 'why' and 'who' being unimportant. "I saw Sakura first. I didn't recognize her. There were two of her, and one of them was...bigger, somehow."

"You were younger," Tenka said helpfully. He had gotten the girls' side of it too, while he had waited for Iruka to wake up. "She was having a bad dream. Memory, maybe, I'm not sure." She hadn't exactly made a lot of sense, and he had been too busy trying not to beat the hell out of her to really listen. "She didn't recognize you, either. You just looked like some kid that wasn't supposed to be there. Bitch tried to run you out."

"Don't call her that," Iruka frowned. "You did the same thing when I went into your dreams that time. Sakura had even more reason, considering she already had Ino to cope with."

"Maybe," Tenka muttered. "I still say it's fishy that she remembered it at all. I didn't remember a thing when you woke me up from that coma. And I've talked to that Ino girl. She was harassed the entire time she was in there. Even when the bi-" and he changed words before Iruka could do more than narrow his eyes, "the other one - even when she was asleep. She's got some kind of split personality or something that's always awake. And that right there is why Ino couldn't get out on her own. Which you would have known if you weren't so damn trusting."

"I did know," Iruka sighed. Partly. He had known there was something wrong with Sakura's mind. Ino had let that much slip before Sakura had silenced her. He didn't blame Sakura for wanting to wait and tell him herself. Private things shouldn't be revealed by a third party. Tenka's reaction was proof enough of that. "Anyway, I don't remember much after that," he lied. "I was drawn to the smaller one, probably making the other one trust me more. She must have led me to Ino and, I suppose, Bunchu brought me out. I remember keeping a hold of Ino's hand until she was back in her own body. Whatever went wrong, I know it was successful as far as retrieving Ino goes."

"Yeah, she's fine now. A little frazzled, but fine."

"So I'll ask again," Iruka murmured. "What went wrong?"

Tenka let out an exasperated breath. "Aside from getting attacked the second you went in?"

"Yes," Iruka said firmly, "aside from that. It's not just my head, my hands hurt, too." He didn't have to look to feel how thickly they were wrapped. The pounding in his head could be explained away by his having used too much energy. He had been completely drained the last time he had done this, too. That didn't explain how he could have possibly gained a physical injury. "Are you saying Sakura is to blame for that?"

"Exactly what I'm saying." Tenka sounded angry again, in a taunting, frustrated and worried way. "Did you even ask her what her talent was before you went sleepwalking into her head?"

"No."

A huff of breath answered that. Iruka was awake enough to recognize the sound of another impending cuff to the head. He lifted an arm to ward it off. Honestly, Tenka was too old not to have a little more common sense. At this rate he would wind up with a concussion. A few wary seconds passed before he realized the blow wasn't coming. He glanced over his arm to find Bunchu restraining the livid teenager.

"You were supposed to tell me when he woke up," Bunchu said calmly, pushing the boy away from the cot. "Come back when you're thinking more clearly."

"At least wait until I'm back on my feet before you beat me down," Iruka put in, with a weak smile.

"Like I could wait that long," Tenka glowered, not bothering to shrug Bunchu off.

Iruka watched until the two were lost in the blurry dark a few feet away. He was looking at his bandaged hands when Bunchu came back. This time he didn't bother to ask the question.

"It was nothing you did," said Bunchu. "It took you four minutes to get in and bring Ino out. Sakura woke immediately. She panicked. Her last memory was of you bleeding. She didn't realize that it was just a dream."

"So she tried to heal me," Iruka winced.

He remembered Sakura's dream vividly. Nothing Tenka needed or had a right to know. Even Ino shouldn't have been privy to that, which was the reason Sakura's...'larger' personality had been standing guard the moment he entered. She had been keeping Ino at bay to maintain what little privacy Sakura had left. He sympathized completely with that and if he had remembered what he was doing, he would have waited until the dream ended instead of pushing his way in. It was the pain that drew him. Sakura's dream was a twisted memory and all he had understood was that she hurt and he was there and he could help.

She had been inside a car, choking on fumes and crawling over shattered glass. A man was dangling upside down, bound loosely by the frayed seat belt. She had panicked, taking him for dead, and when she tried furiously to heal him, those minor injuries that had kept him unconscious became the deadly ones she had assumed he had. Iruka didn't know how accurate that nightmare was to what had really happened. The transfer was immediate. He had felt the heat and tears, guilt and pain, and then hands pulling her, him, out the passenger window. A brief struggle, catching hold of the jagged window's edge, screaming as the grip was pulled free. It was what had happened after that, how he had gone from Sakura to Ino, that he didn't remember.

And Tenka was right. Sakura shouldn't have remembered any of that. The only explanation was that her other personality, the bigger one, had witnessed it and told her about it when she woke up. Just like that personality had noticed when Ino transferred into her mind, when anyone else would have felt as if they had fallen asleep, never knowing they had been taken over, until Ino went back to her own body again.

"Yes," said Bunchu, "she tried. And failed. Instead of healing wounds that weren't there, she created them herself. That's the flaw in her talent. Had you been seriously injured, she would have healed you completely. With minor injuries, her talent backfires."

"Did she tell you that?" Iruka murmured.

"No."

That was what he had thought. Iruka pressed his lips together to keep from protesting that intrusion. Bunchu must have been alarmed by what Sakura had inadvertently done. He reminded himself that Bunchu never pried without good cause. That didn't stop him from feeling outraged on Sakura's behalf. No child should have her darkest secrets stolen by a complete stranger.

If Bunchu was aware of Iruka's feelings, he didn't show it. His tone remained as sober and unapologetic as always. "She's waiting to talk to you. I recommend keeping a minimum distance of two feet between you at all times. Her talent is very volatile at the moment, due in good part to the excess energy you gave her. Your injuries are not as serious as they appear. I have explained to her that you'll be able to heal them yourself once you have recovered some of your energy. She doesn't believe me."

"You can't blame her for that," said Iruka.

"I don't. However, as she is upset and potentially dangerous at the moment, I'm giving you the same orders I gave her. Don't touch her, and don't let her touch you."

"Understood," Iruka sighed. "I'll try to restrain myself and save the comforting embraces until we're both feeling better."

Bunchu gave a quiet snort at the playful sarcasm. "You do that."

.-.

Sasuke had no shame about collapsing the second he reached the rock. Trying to kill Kakashi had always been exhausting. As an opponent, Kakashi was the epitome of versatile, switching from defense to offense, dangerous to playful, with no warning in between. He would never even attempt to 'spar' with him. It would be pointless. Anything shy of an outright murder attempt would be shrugged off, danced around, and returned with amused poking and prodding until he self destructed, which was what Kakashi liked best.

He had realized a few minutes from the house that Kakashi was intentionally irritating him. He resented being 'handled' that way, but he wasn't about to turn down the opportunity to beat on something that wouldn't be destroyed with the first few hits. The occasional winces and hisses of pain went far in making him feel better. As a rule, Kakashi hid his pain nearly as well during a fight as he did. Once he had understood that Kakashi was offering his services as a punching bag, he had calmed down enough to focus on eliciting as many grimaces as possible. A few more than the last time they had fought. And one solid hit that was just a hair shy of being deadly.

He turned on his side, half lying on the rock, and sent a dark look at his opponent. Kakashi was crouched a foot away, leaning heavily on his knees. Sasuke took that as another mark in his favor. He had forced Kakashi to the use the sharingan twice in that fight. While Kakashi had more energy and endurance than him, his incomplete sharingan sucked up far more of it than Sasuke's did. So even though he had technically lost the fight, Kakashi wasn't much better off in the end.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed in amusement. "Do you know you're bleeding?"

Kakashi's head snapped up, his own eye glittering with equal amusement. "Why, yes, I did notice that, thank you. Do you know you're bleeding more? We should take a look at that. I almost gutted you."

"It's fine," Sasuke sniffed. He moved a hand to the tear in his side and wrinkled his nose. This shirt was ruined. "A mere scrape."

"Ah," Kakashi nodded knowingly, "and mine is just a little rug burn." He picked at the ragged patch on his chest, where a last second shift of energy had kept Sasuke's hand from going right through his ribs and into his heart. Although technically a flesh wound, it was still a bloody painful mess and he didn't look forward to picking the pieces of torn cloth out with tweezers later. Sasuke's wound was bound to be worse. "You're still trying to do too much at once," he sighed. "I keep telling you, if you spread your energy too thin you won't have a successful offense or defense. Pick one."

"And get stabbed in the back?" Sasuke sneered.

Kakashi's eye narrowed in mock annoyance. "I'm not a back stabber. A back poker, absolutely, and proud of it, but that doesn't really have anything to do with fighting." He rushed on before Sasuke could do more than curl a lip in distaste. "That's one of my combos you're trying to master. If you're going to use one of my originals, do it right. I'm telling you, it won't work unless you focus all of your energy at the point of impact. Especially if you're going to risk a return hit in the process."

"That doesn't even make sense," Sasuke said in a seething tone. They had been over this before. "If I hadn't shielded, you would have gutted me. There's no point killing you if I die as well."

"Which is why you pick one or the other," Kakashi sighed. "If you want to survive, don't spread your energy so thin. Either keep it for defense or put it all into an attack that's guaranteed to hit the mark. What you're doing is beyond reckless, it's pointless." He rose so Sasuke was forced to look up at him, not minding that the look was a stubborn glower. "You don't have enough energy to land that attack on me and defend yourself at the same time. I knew you would try to do both. You knew I knew that. Why you still attempt it..." He shook his head in exasperation, "I might as well ask why you're such a prude, it's unfathomable to me."

Sasuke clenched his teeth, his eyes narrowing to sharp red slits. He was so sick of being called that. He wasn't a prude, he wasn't asexual, he just hadn't had time or inclination to consider that aspect of life and it was none of Kakashi's damn business, anyway. A hand picked at the edge of his shirt. Sasuke bristled and caught Kakashi's wrist before his hem had been lifted more than a few inches.

"That's going to need stitches," Kakashi commented, as if he weren't the least bit bothered by Sasuke's painfully tight grip. "Luckily for you, I have mastered that technique, so it's a clean cut. Almost cauterized, really." Much prettier than the grating tear Sasuke's half-hearted attack had done to him.

"Don't touch me," Sasuke grimaced, throwing the hand away from him. "Or my shirt," especially while he was still wearing it.

"Come now," Kakashi wheedled. "It's not as if I haven't seen you shirtless. It never bothered you before." He blinked at Sasuke's very disturbed expression. A slow hand rose to scratch at his neck. "Yeah," he admitted, "I guess it did. Come to think of it, the only time you let me patch you up was when I threatened to drag you to a hospital and you were too exhausted to fight me off. Hm. I seem to recall there being a hospital near here. I suppose you could let them take care of it, instead..."

"I can sew it up myself." Sasuke slipped off the rock, putting adequate distance between him and the disturbing pervert. It was comments like this that made him wonder about Kakashi. Admittedly, the man had never tried anything with him, but he had insinuated enough to keep him in a state of perpetual wariness. Just the thought of being partially unclothed in front of him make his skin crawl. "I'm not that exhausted," he said sharply. "Stay away from me."

Kakashi sighed. Then he imagined the brat sewing that wound up himself and he shivered a little. Only Sasuke would prefer sticking a needle into his own skin over having someone else do it for him. Or maybe it was him that put the kid off. He cocked his head to the side, giving Sasuke a considering look. He didn't mind the fact that Sasuke was slowly edging backward toward the house as if he expected to be chased, pounced, and patched up whether he liked it or not. "Maybe you can ask Naruto to do it."

Sasuke stopped moving. He couldn't be serious. "Naruto? He can't even put a bandage on straight." And Kakashi thought he would let him near his flesh with a needle?

"Really?" asked Kakashi. "Oh, well, in that case I guess you had better let me do it. As neat as your stitches are, that's an awkward place to do for yourself, especially left handed."

Sasuke wasn't about to fall for that. He let a cool blank expression slip over his face. Kakashi wanted him to admit that he wasn't going to use his left hand. Then the pervert would remark on his right arm being broken and use that as an excuse to force the issue. In which case he would have no choice but to run or fight him off, and either way, by the end of the mess he would be too tired to protest and Kakashi would win. His eyes narrowed, "You're not getting my shirt off. Give it up." He was ten steps ahead of the dirty old-

"Pervert!"

Sasuke jumped at the yell that erupted mere feet behind him. Naruto didn't seem to notice, too busy pointing at Kakashi in apparent outrage.

"You leave him alone!" Naruto growled at a befuddled looking Kakashi. "Go hit on someone your own age! Trying to get his shirt off, you - dirty old man, you!" He hesitated when he noticed Kakashi's tattered state and the bloody tear on his chest. He whipped around to really look at Sasuke, immediately narrowing in on the blood that was trailing down his side, soaking his clothes and dripping down his leg. His face went white and he sent one horrified, "You bastard!" at Kakashi before darting over to Sasuke.

Sasuke twitched at the way Naruto's hands fluttered just shy of touching him. This was the guy Kakashi had suggested he allow near him with a needle.

"How bad is it?" Naruto asked, in a panicky voice. "What did you do to him?" he yelled at Kakashi, a second later.

"You really need to calm down," Kakashi remarked, his eye narrowing a little. These weren't the 'words' he had planned to have with Naruto. "We were just sparring."

Naruto gaped in disbelief, torn between hovering beside Sasuke and staring in horror at the bastard responsible. "How can you say that? He's bleeding to death and you're just standing there - hitting on him, even!"

Kakashi's eye ticked in annoyance. "I was not hitting on him."

"I'm not bleeding to death," Sasuke muttered, frowning and edging away from those fluttering hands. They had gotten a little too close for comfort. "Stop that."

"Don't worry," Naruto said quickly. He put an arm around Sasuke's shoulders, oblivious to the way he tensed at the contact. "Let's just get you inside, Sasuke. Are you okay to walk? Here, let me carry you."

"Try it and I will kill you," Sasuke blurted. The proprietary treatment had knocked him completely off guard. Naruto's murmuring tone made it even worse. He sounded like Iruka. Then Naruto unaccountably beamed at his death threat and Sasuke wondered if maybe he had lost a little too much blood.

"That's more like it," Naruto sighed, grinning with relief. He gave a soft squeeze of his arm, pulling him closer so he could support him better, not minding at all the way Sasuke was staring at him as if he had suddenly sprouted fox ears and a tail to go with his whiskers. "You'll be just fine. We'll take care of it, right? You're not about to let some old pervert kill you off. No way. And don't you worry, I won't let him anywhere near you, I promise."

Kakashi glowered when he suddenly found himself abandoned in the backyard. He didn't know what annoyed him more, how weirded out Sasuke looked - which was one very amusing expression he had never so much as glimpsed on his face before, or the fact that Sasuke hadn't protested being hugged, fussed over, and led placidly inside to be taken care of. What had that blonde brat done to his kid? And where was the gratitude for dragging Sasuke out and letting him vent so he didn't mutilate said blonde brat - and inner fox - the second he went in the house? This wasn't how things were supposed to be.

"I take it back," Kakashi muttered sullenly. "I don't approve of him at all."

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Naruto was stubborn, like the sun was warm and Kakashi was different.

Sasuke reached this conclusion after four minutes of glares, threats, and discriminate use of force found his side throbbing nearly as badly as his arm and Naruto's stubborn self still half wedged in the bathroom door. Absolutely ridiculous. He conceded out of sheer exhaustion, retreating to a sullen seat on the edge of the tub, and glowering resentfully at the idiotic grin on the moron's face. For someone who had hovered over him all the way upstairs, Naruto had been awfully quick to make him exert himself when he had tried to lock him out of the bathroom. So he wasn't just stubborn and weirdly overprotective. He was a voyeur.

"I'm going to hurt you later," Sasuke said solemnly.

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto grinned, feeling smug at having made it into the room. He locked the door behind him. Sasuke didn't look like he would be bolting anywhere, but he wasn't taking chances. He turned back with his very best 'concerned Iruka-sensei' face. "You can try to hurt me as much as you want later," emphasis on try. "First you gotta get better."

"I'm not sick."

"You look it," said Naruto. And he really did. While Sasuke wasn't bleeding as much as he had first thought, he was still wearing more blood than Naruto had ever seen outside a splatter movie. He was scarily pale with rashy splotches on his cheeks and Naruto had actually caught him wincing when he had walked up the stairs. Sasuke wincing. If the blood hadn't been enough to send him into panic mode, that right there would have. This was the guy who took a burned hand and a broken bone without so much as flinching. "You look like you're gonna pass out. No way I'd let you lock yourself in here alone so you can pass out and bleed to death."

Sasuke snorted. Playing tug of war with the door had done more damage than sleeping it off would have. Any idiot knew that. Any idiot who wasn't a stubborn blue-eyed blonde with a pervert in his head. Sasuke's mind caught on that thought, just as said blonde reached for the kit he had left on the sink. His expression sobered into a narrow eyed stare.

"Kyuubi's a fox?" asked Sasuke.

Naruto flinched and knocked the open first aid kit back into the sink. He righted it just as quickly. "Did he tell you that...?"

"Kakashi mentioned it," Sasuke frowned. And it didn't make any more sense now than it had then. He reached out and tapped Naruto's arm, "Hand me the black case."

"Right," Naruto said quickly. He fumbled with the narrow leather case, which looked like the sort of thing that would come with fingernail clippers or lockpicks or something. His turned and his eyes caught on Sasuke's outstretched hand. His left hand, the one that had been pressing that wounded spot on his side. Once again, he felt his throat tighten at the sight of so much dark blood against Sasuke's pale skin. He had always had a problem with blood. Kyuubi said it was left over shock from having been splashed with Iruka's blood that time, because he had been responsible, and because it had happened so quickly it was still warm when it hit him. He suddenly wished Kyuubi would wake up. Kyuubi would be able to handle this without panicking. Except he didn't want Kyuubi to wake up, not now when Sasuke was wary and vulnerable and Naruto was too disturbed by the blood to focus. That would make things even worse.

Sasuke scoffed in annoyance. "Idiot," he muttered. He wiped his hand off on the left side of his shirt and then snatched the case. "How were you planning to help when you're too afraid of blood to even hand me something?"

"I'm not afraid," Naruto blurted. He scowled when Sasuke raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm not!"

"Then hand me the scissors," Sasuke sneered, "and try not to flinch this time."

Naruto handed them over with a stubborn frown, "I'm not afraid of blood. I just don't like seeing so much of it. You're bleeding a lot, you know."

"Not that much," said Sasuke, dismissively. Kakashi hadn't been kidding about the wound almost being cauterized. He had to pick a few threads from his mutilated shirt out of the cut, but as long as he avoided tugging matches in the near future, he might not even have to sew it up. "It looks worse than it is." He was debating on cutting around the wound or slicing the shirt completely. A speculative glance up at Naruto found the blonde glowering at him. That was preferable to having Naruto hovering worriedly or reassuring him as if he were the one panicking. Or offering to help him undress with a creepy Kakashi smile. Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "If Kyuubi is a fox, that means he's an animal. Right?"

Naruto dropped his eyes, feeling cornered, uncomfortable, guilty, and a dozen other things at once. "Yeah. Well, sort of. He's a fox..."

"So what does he want with me?" Sasuke scowled. He had been groped by an animal? That was even more humiliating than having Pakkun sneak into his bed. Pakkun didn't have anything sexual in mind when he did it. Kyuubi's actions had definitely been sexual, but considering what he had been doing with Naruto before the fox made his appearance, maybe...

"He's a pervert," Naruto grumbled, glaring furiously at his feet. He just knew his face was beet red. "He's an absolute hornball pervert. But - I swear, I didn't know he was gonna jump you like that, or I would have-" He glanced up to find Sasuke making a weird face. As if he had just bitten into something furry with a dozen legs and a squishy sweet filling. Naruto blinked. "Um...Sasuke?"

"Then he is a pervert," Sasuke said quietly.

"Yeah," Naruto blinked again. Had Sasuke actually doubted that after what Kyuubi had done to him? "He's a mega-pervert."

"A perverted fox hit on me," Sasuke murmured.

Naruto winced, "I'm really sorry about that. Honestly, I had no idea he'd do that. We didn't even know he could come out on his own until recently, so I didn't think he'd try taking over like that. Let alone be such a perverted asshole. I swear, I didn't-"

"Why me?"

"Huh?"

Sasuke gritted his teeth, his breath coming in furious little bursts. "What interest could a perverted fox possibly have in me?" he asked, in as calm a tone as possible. "I'm not a fox."

"Neither am I," Naruto frowned. "I'm as human as you are..."

"But he's not. He's a fox. An animal."

Naruto's eyes widened suddenly, "Oh! No, no, you got it all wrong. Kyuubi's like my alter ego or split personality or something. He's only a fox in my head. He doesn't have a real fox's body or anything. I mean, yeah, he thinks like a fox sometimes, but when it comes to liking people, we're pretty much the same. 'Cause it's my body, you know? Not like I'd be interested in an animal. That's just..." A mental glance at the nearly comatose fox in his head made him pause. Why did Kyuubi always lust after humans when he was definitely a fox in his head? He frowned and focused on Sasuke again. "That's kinda weird, huh? I never thought about it before. I don't know why he's a fox in my head. He doesn't act like one when it comes to other people. Aside from the biting thing, but that's just him being a pervert."

"Nevermind," Sasuke muttered. He was too tired to deal with this. Bad enough he had random human and mutant perverts hitting on him. Now animals were doing it, too? He didn't even want to think about it right now. He shifted on the edge of the tub and waved Naruto back a step with the sharp end of the scissors. "What's he doing now?"

"Kyuubi?" asked Naruto, his eyes locked on the glinting scissors. He jumped a little when he caught on. "Oh, you're safe. Honest. He's completely out of it. Been sleeping like the dead since earlier. He said he used too much energy healing what you did to him. Good on you, too, 'cause the bastard deserved it. But even if he woke up, I wouldn't let him try anything. He can't do anything unless I let him, or I'm too distracted to stop him. That's what happened before," and he paused, feeling a blush work its way up his neck. "I was paying attention to you instead of keeping an eye on him..."

Sasuke marveled at the way Naruto could go from mothering to queasy to starry-eyed in the space of five minutes. He firmly ignored how hot his cheeks felt. His side was more numb than sore now and that was never a good thing. That was much more important than the heated look Naruto was giving him. He focused exclusively on clipping his stained shirt away from the wound. And more to distract Naruto from staring than to settle his curiosity, he asked, "Does he always talk to you?"

"Um," Naruto fidgeted, dropping his eyes again. "Most of the time. He usually sleeps a lot during the day, but if he's awake he talks to me whenever he wants. It's just like thinking stuff to myself, though. I mean, he only exists in my head, so..." He trailed off, frowning at his feet. That sounded crazy even to him. "It's not as weird as it sounds." Except it was. "It's just, you know, it's like having a special voice for your conscience that speaks up when you're not sure what to do." Naruto scowled. That explanation had sounded much better when Iruka had first offered it to him. Kyuubi couldn't be his conscience because the fox didn't have a conscience. "He's my 'id'," he said finally, sending Sasuke a stubborn frown. "He's my greedy little demon who only cares about want-want-want. He's an ass and he's perverted, and that's just the way he is. He's part of me. He's what makes me a mutant. And I'm not crazy, so don't look at me like that!"

Sasuke glanced up for the first time since Naruto had started rambling. He raised an eyebrow, "I wasn't looking at you at all."

"You are now," Naruto muttered. Sasuke wasn't giving him a 'this guy is crazy' look, but that had to be what he was thinking. "I'm not crazy."

"Then stop being so defensive about it," said Sasuke. "I have met mutants with stranger talents than yours. You have an animal personality?" He shrugged, waving for Naruto to hand him the kit before continuing. "I have fought mutants who actually were part animal."

Naruto's eyes widened at the thought. "Really? What kind of animals were they?"

"A shark," Sasuke frowned. That hadn't been much of a fight. The mutant had barely grazed him and the next thing he knew he had woken up without a drop of energy. It had taken days before he could activate the sharingan without passing out and he still didn't know what the mutant had done, or what his energy sucking talent had to do with him looking like a half-human shark.

He leaned over enough to wet a clean strip of his shirt and started dabbing at his side. "There was one who looked like a snake," he muttered, grimacing at the memory. "He could create them out of his own flesh and blood."

"Gross," Naruto made an appropriately disgusted face, but his eyes were gleaming with interest. "Did you beat him?"

"No," Sasuke snapped. "They were venomous." And he had been nine at the time. Three lightning fast bites and a lengthy hospital stay filled with disturbing hallucinations while the doctors tried every anti-venom they could think of until Itachi had finally stopped by with an antidote. He scowled and rubbed overly hard on his blood stained skin. Funny how some of his worst fights were due to 'animal' type mutants.

"Any canines?" asked Naruto. "Like werewolves or-"

Sasuke shot him a dark smirk. "Actually, yes, there was one of those. He had a lot in common with your fox. He didn't keep his paws to himself so I removed them for him. I suspect he bled to death."

"Very funny," Naruto snorted. He grinned at Sasuke's evil expression, reminding himself to repeat that one to Kyuubi when the fox woke up.

With a light shrug, Sasuke turned his attention back to his side. It was probably just as well that Naruto assumed he had been joking. That 'werewolf' mutant hadn't been one of Itachi's, and Sasuke hadn't meant to kill him that way. He had simply been woken up to a growling attack and had reacted accordingly. He didn't actually know if the man had died, anyway. He had left while the perverted would-be cannibal was still howling over his amputated hands. The man could have put on tourniquets with his teeth and survived. Sasuke didn't particularly care, either way. He didn't appreciate being mistaken for an easy snack.

A healthy dose of peroxide set his crusted gash to bubbling and he hissed at the effort not to flinch and pull the wound open. If he could just keep still for a day or so it wouldn't need stitches. That suddenly seemed like a very big if. He grimaced when he caught Naruto staring at the cut with that panicky worried expression back on his face. "Are you any better at bandaging other people than you are yourself?"

Naruto bristled at the insulting tone. "Of course," he sniffed. "I've never had to bandage myself so it's not like I had any practice. Iruka-sensei makes me patch up Hiko if I go too far when we're sparring and he's not around to heal it right away." On the other hand he usually didn't feel guilty about those wounds. Hiko was an asshole to spar with since he had Iruka to hide behind. As far as he was concerned, Sasuke probably wouldn't have gotten hurt at all if it weren't for him and Kyuubi. He was the one who had broken his arm and then Kyuubi had screwed things up and left him all alone on the roof, a perfect target for the old pervert.

He glanced back at the cut, wondering if the bastard had used Sasuke's own knife on him. It sure looked like it. Except now that Sasuke had washed the blood away he could see how the skin around the cut was bruised, as if he had sliced him open and then hit him a few times to make it bleed more. Naruto's eyes widened, "What did he do to you?" Kakashi was an old pervert, sure, but he hadn't thought he was a sadist.

Sasuke winced at Naruto's stricken expression. Couldn't the moron stay distracted for longer than two minutes without reverting back to form? He handed Naruto a roll of bandages and went back to patching the wound. Even if Naruto's wrapping was clumsy, it would keep his own patch in place, and that was better than having to do it himself. He would concede that much to Kakashi. His right arm hurt like hell if he lifted it too high. Too much pressure, not enough energy left to reinforce it.

Naruto looked up quickly from the bandages he had been handed. Did this mean Sasuke wasn't going to throw a fit about being helped? "Sasuke?"

"It was a combination attack," Sasuke explained, before tearing a strip of adhesive with his teeth and placing it carefully along the edge of the gauze. "An original."

"What was?" asked Naruto. A cool and insulting stare flicked up at him, bringing an instinctive scowl to his face. Sasuke was so confusing. One second he was all friendly and the next he was looking at him like he was a moron. That made it really hard to decide if he wanted to help him or hit him. "What?" Naruto snapped.

"You asked what Kakashi did," Sasuke reminded him, a slow sneer pulling at his face. The idiot clearly had trouble keeping up. "It was a combination of two talents. When done right, it can cut through anything. Or anyone." He had a sudden image of Naruto with red eyes, sharp teeth, and a taunting grin. He sniffed as the image was replaced by a scowling and harmless blue-eyed moron. "We both attacked at the same time, so we canceled each other out. You saw his chest? Same thing. He blocked mine, I blocked his, so neither of us did it completely." Which was another source of annoyance. Kakashi kept harping on him for not focusing entirely on offense when he was holding back just as much for defense. If Kakashi had really put all of his energy into attacking, he wouldn't have been able to deflect Sasuke's attack as quickly as he had.

"Wait," blurted Naruto, "you mean you guys really were sparring? You spar with the pervert?" His face twisted in annoyance. "Why would you spar with him?"

Sasuke gave him a sharp look, "Why wouldn't I?"

"Because he's a pervert!" Naruto scowled. "Because you just got done sparring with me! You just got patched up from one fight and you jump into another? With a sadistic pervert, even! It's no wonder you're all beat up. Do you have a death wish or something?" He had a sudden urge to grab Sasuke's shoulders and give him a nice hard shake. How was he supposed to protect him from the pervert if he voluntarily fought with the guy? When he was already injured, even! "That's it," Naruto said, decisively, "you're not sparring with the pervert anymore. In fact, consider yourself grounded. No fights with anyone till your arm's better."

Sasuke felt his eyebrow twitch. Who the hell did he think he was? Naruto was nodding to himself, looking far too pleased with his statement. Sasuke stared at him. "Are you my mother, now?"

"Of course not," Naruto scoffed. He rolled his eyes at the thought. Like mothers went around making out with their kids. Sasuke spent way too much time with Kakashi. "I'm not your mother, I'm your boyfriend. And until Iruka-sensei comes home, I'm in charge of the house. So I say," and he pointed a finger at Sasuke, "no more fights for you until you're all healed up. You don't like that? Tough. I could pin you in a second the way you are right now. I won't 'cause that would just make your injuries worse, but we both know I could. Once you're all healed up you can challenge me and get your rights back. Till then, you're definitely grounded."

"So," Naruto said, stepping forward and waving at Sasuke, "arms up. The sooner we patch you up, the sooner you can start getting better." He hesitated when Sasuke didn't move. The boy was gaping at him with the strangest expression on his face, his left eyebrow twitching ever so often. Naruto frowned and poked his left arm, "Up," he said again, "I can't wrap it if you don't cooperate a little."

"You're crazy..."

Naruto flinched for a second before scowling furiously. "I'm not crazy! We've already been over that! And stop changing the subject, already. Shit, you change moods faster than anyone I know. Just suck it up and cooperate. Act your age," and he grinned smugly at finally getting to be the one saying that to someone else. "It's not that big a deal, right? You don't like hospitals - and I can promise, if Iruka-sensei saw you looking like this, he'd have you over there in a heartbeat. Even running away to the roof wouldn't save you from him when he switches into worry mode."

It wasn't often that Sasuke found himself struck dumb twice in one day. Naruto was insane. It had nothing to do with having a perverted fox in his head. Naruto was insane all by himself. Sasuke had met quite a few crazy people over the years, but Naruto put a whole new spin on the term. He forced his gaping mouth to close and lifted his arms. The quicker this was done, the quicker he could seek refuge in his room, far away from insane blondes and their twisted logic.

Naruto leaned closer, reaching around him to wrap the bandage, and Sasuke's mouth shot open again, "You're not my boyfriend."

"No?" asked Naruto. He was distracted by his task. Sasuke had barely lifted his arms at all, so he had to get really close to wrap the bandage around his waist. That meant lots of contact. And he had to reach under the back of Sasuke's shirt to get the bandage on straight, meaning he was feeling his way over very soft skin. His fingers hesitated over what felt like a scar on the small of Sasuke's back and Sasuke flinched. "Sorry!" Naruto blurted, fumbling not to drop the roll as he switched hands and pulled the bandage around Sasuke's side. His face was flaming hot and he refused to look up. He was as bad as Kyuubi, taking advantage of Sasuke when he was supposed to be patching him up. "So, um, if it's not boyfriend, what would you call it, then?"

Convenient was the first word that came to mind. Mistake came just as quickly. Sasuke didn't say either of them. He was clenching his teeth to keep from moving, his glare locked on the wall to the side of him. Then Naruto reached behind him and he flinched again. Absolutely humiliating, especially when Naruto immediately blurted out another apology. The only thing missing was Kakashi to start up on his 'contact phobia' routine. He swore, if Naruto said he was sorry one more time-

Dull fingernails brushed lightly over his side and Sasuke took a sharp breath, grimacing at the audible hiss it made through his clenched teeth. He could actually feel himself blush. The bastard was doing that on purpose!

"Sorry!"

"Shut up," Sasuke snapped. "Just be quick about it."

Naruto ventured a look at Sasuke and winced at his expression. "I'm trying to," he protested. "Every time you flinch I have to straighten the bandage again. Are you ticklish?"

"I am not ticklish," Sasuke said tightly. He shot a suspicious glare at Naruto, and was somewhat mollified by the guilty blush on his face. Naruto really didn't look like he was doing it on purpose. "Pull it tighter and it won't slip so easily. You're wrapping it too lightly, anyway."

"Too tight and it'll hurt," said Naruto. "That defeats the whole purpose." He could just bet Sasuke was about to say it was fine. He leaned forward to put another layer around him before he could. This time he was ready when Sasuke flinched the second he touched the small of his back. "Deny it all you want, you're definitely ticklish. That or you're just really sensitive," and he flashed a playful leer that made Sasuke bristle and bare his teeth. "Not that being sensitive is a bad thing."

"One more word and I'll knock you through that door," Sasuke growled.

"Right," Naruto nodded, "not another word. Got it." He ducked his head so his grin was hidden. If Sasuke had actually been in any shape to do that, he would have done it already. This time he made it a point to let his fingers linger over the edge of the bandage, and when Sasuke flinched right on schedule, he didn't offer a single apology. The more he flinched, the longer it would take, and Naruto was in no hurry whatsoever. Forget sparring with him. The second Sasuke was all healed up, he was gonna jump him and tickle him till cried. He could hardly wait.

As soon as Naruto reached the end of the roll, Sasuke shoved him away. Naruto went over to open the door, almost turning his back to him quickly enough to hide the grin on his face. Almost. Sasuke seethed and plotted a dozen ways to mutilate him beyond recognition without actually killing him. He clipped the bandage in place with more force than necessary. Then he shot to his feet. Two steps later his anger was replaced by vague surprise. Dizzy. Light. He couldn't feel his knees and he didn't even mind.

Naruto yelped and caught him halfway to the floor. Sasuke was completely boneless, reminding him of Kyuubi right before he had fallen into that coma-like sleep. Except Sasuke's eyes were still open, a dazed expression on his face. "Sasuke?" He pulled Sasuke's left arm over his shoulders, easing him up as much as possible. "Hey, Sasuke?" Dark eyes turned toward him, slowly, as if he were half asleep. Naruto sighed with relief. He had worried that Sasuke might pass out from the blood loss. Naruto put his right arm around Sasuke's waist, an awkward half carry considering he couldn't touch his injured side or his arm.

"Stupid," Naruto murmured, talking half into Sasuke's hair. "You don't stand up so quick after losing blood. You could have cracked your head on the floor and then where would you be? Come on, shuffle your feet or I'll drag you to your room. You'll kill me if I try to carry you, right?" No response. A quick peek found Sasuke's eyes closed. Naruto grinned. "You look like a girl when you sleep," he taunted. Not so much as an eyebrow twitch. "Be glad Kyuubi's sleeping, too. He'd definitely tell me to take advantage of this." Nothing. Yeah, Naruto grinned, Sasuke was completely gone. He ducked down to catch his legs, feeling absolutely smug about how easy it was to carry him. And that was without Kyuubi lending him extra strength.

He was just pushing open Sasuke's door when Kakashi rounded the corner. They both froze mid-step, staring at each other. For a moment Naruto wondered if he should defend himself for being in such an incriminating position. Then he remembered that Kakashi was the one responsible for Sasuke's condition. He gave the man a dirty look. He would have a talk with him later, when Kyuubi was awake, after filling the fox in on what the bastard had done. Even with a handicap, Kakashi had to be pretty strong to have messed Sasuke up so much. He would let Kyuubi have at him. Or, better yet, he would tell Iruka on him. As protective as Iruka was, Kakashi wouldn't stand a chance. Naruto sniffed and made it a point to kick the door closed behind him just in case Kakashi tried peeping. That pervert had no business even looking into Sasuke's bedroom.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

It was lonely in Sasuke's room. Naruto had been in the room plenty of times, but now it was Sasuke's room. He had thought it would look different, lived in, and it didn't. It was empty, bare walls, and the bed was made when he came in, as straight and wrinkle-free as if Iruka himself had done it. Naruto's first thought was that no teenager should make a bed like that. His second thought was that Sasuke needed some posters for those walls and he was going to get some even if Naruto had to lend some of his own and put them up himself.

He put Sasuke on the bed and only spent a moment hesitating over whether or not to make him more comfortable. Putting him to bed was one thing. Undressing him, even if it was just taking off his shoes, was too much. He would have told Kyuubi the same thing. No groping him while he was asleep. And, yeah, touching his ankles to take off his sandals counted as groping. He did stare for a while, but he was proud of himself for resisting the temptation to touch.

The desk contained the only visible objects in the room. A stack of those textbooks he had gotten from Iruka's office earlier and a small notebook. Naruto sat down and flipped through the notebook. He had been surprised when he realized Sasuke was reading textbooks on subjects he had known when he was still in the hospital. Kiddie stuff. At least six levels beneath him and he was still a little behind for his age, according to Iruka. For some reason he had assumed Sasuke was smarter than that. Maybe because Sasuke acted like he knew everything.

It only took him a glance to realize the notebook wasn't what he had assumed. Page after page was filled with tiny, almost robotic text, numbers, odd bits that might have been equations, and no breaks whatsoever. Naruto shot a bewildered look at Sasuke, who was as dead to the world as ever, and then squinted at the book again. A diary? Maybe. It did have dates. What kind of guy kept a diary? And how did he even read it without a magnifying glass? He fanned the pages, almost hypnotized by the writing. Every page looked the same. He wasn't going to read it, but if a few lines just happened to jump off the page at him, well...

He had barely reached the first blank page in the back of the book when the door opened. Naruto jumped and dropped the book guiltily. Then he realized that Kakashi had just opened Sasuke's bedroom door. Kakashi The Pervert. And he walked into the room as if it were his own. Into Sasuke's room. While Sasuke was sleeping. Indignation flared in his throat and promptly curdled there. Kakashi stopped beside him, picked up the notebook he had been snooping through, and put it away in the top drawer of the desk. He blushed furiously, and when Kakashi took him by the arm and walked him out of the room as if he were Iruka instead of The Visiting Pervert, Naruto went along in guilty embarrassed silence. It wasn't until they were in the hall, and Kakashi had shut the door after them, that he remembered Kakashi was 'The Pervert' and not 'The Adult' who had just caught him doing something bad. Naruto bristled and opened his mouth to rail at him.

"Let's talk outside," said Kakashi. "You're loud," he explained patiently, using his grip on Naruto's arm to pull him down the hall, "and if you wake him up, I might decide to break this so the two of you match. Oh, I know," he shook his head when Naruto's mouth opened again, "your fox heals fast. But judging by your current energy, you couldn't heal a paper cut at the moment. Am I wrong?"

Naruto closed his mouth again. He didn't know what was going on. Kakashi sounded...angry. What right did he have to be mad when he was the bad guy? Yeah, the pervert had caught him looking through Sasuke's book, but that was nothing compared to almost killing him. And hitting on him and trying to get him naked when he was already bleeding to death. And just walking into his room like he owned the place. And-

'I'm hungry,' Kyuubi muttered sullenly. 'Want me to eat him for you?'

'Kyuubi!' Naruto grimaced. 'Don't talk about eating people! That's-' He blinked and stumbled over the bottom step, Kakashi still pulling him along. 'Kyuubi,' he said quickly, 'the pervert cut Sasuke up. He almost bled to death and he passed out, and I carried him back to his room and then the pervert came in like he owned the place and-'

'And he caught you snooping through Sasuke's journal,' Kyuubi finished, in a bored tone. He let out a toothy yawn. 'I already know. It's quicker to look at your memories than to have you repeat it all. Now you expect me to mutilate him for it.'

'Well, yeah,' Naruto frowned. 'Right?'

'Do you know why he's mad at you?' Kyuubi drawled.

Naruto sent a resentful glare at the back of Kakashi's head. The pervert wasn't even looking at him and he was dragging him behind him as if he didn't think he would try and pull free. 'No!' Naruto blurted. 'Unless he's mad cause I stopped him from trying to get Sasuke naked when he was all bleeding to death and vulnerable. He even had the nerve to say he wasn't hitting on him. And they were sparring!' He straightened indignantly as he remembered that. 'Sasuke spars with him! Willingly!'

'Why wouldn't he?' asked Kyuubi, in a sly tone that said he knew exactly who he was mimicking. Naruto must have missed the reference because his response was the same.

'Because he's a pervert!'

Kyuubi gave a condescending sniff. 'So he shouldn't spar with Kakashi because he's a pervert. But he should spar with you because, what, you're a young pervert instead of an old one? Give it up. You already thought it yourself, he'd have to be skilled to have messed Sasuke up so much. That makes him a much better sparring partner than you. As for being perverted, I can hold my own with that old man any day. Just think how many opportunities he must have had to jump him over the years and he couldn't even get his shirt off when he was weak from blood loss. We've known him a matter of days and we've already gotten into his pants.'

'That was you,' Naruto railed quickly. 'You, not me! I wasn't even paying attention when you did that.'

'You should have been,' Kyuubi smirked. 'He's better endowed than you fantasized the other night. And that response was just from kissing. As sensitive as he is, I barely had to squeeze and-'

Naruto squeaked. Kakashi, who had been dragging the boy across the backyard, turned a sharp look on him. He promptly arched an eyebrow. Naruto's eyes were full blue moons amid his dark red face. He looked as if he had just seen ghost, a naked sexy ghost, judging by his blush. Kakashi had to stamp down his curiosity. Knowing his luck, the brat was having perverted thoughts about Sasuke. He didn't want him to share that.

"I suppose here is as good as anywhere," said Kakashi. He released Naruto's arm and frowned when he just stood there with that stunned blush. "Hey. I'm talking to you, brat."

"Ung?" Naruto blinked intelligently.

Kakashi resisted the urge to hit him upside the head. "Save the mental masturbation for later, if you don't mind." When Naruto flinched and gurgled, he gave an exasperated sigh. "Pervert."

"Wha-" Naruto bristled. His face was still red, but Kakashi's accusation distracted him from the lurid memories and descriptions Kyuubi was filling his head with. Yes, the old pervert had nothing on his fox. He admitted that freely now. Nothing at all. Kakashi was an amateur compared to Kyuubi. "You're the pervert," he muttered at Kakashi. 'So are you,' he muttered at Kyuubi.

'Hypocrite,' Kyuubi sniffed.

'Teenager,' Naruto shot back. 'We're supposed to be hormonal. Iruka-sensei said so.'

"Look," Kakashi interrupted, tipped off by the slight glaze to Naruto's eyes. He waited till those eyes unglazed enough to focus on him. "I have decided Sasuke likes you." Naruto looked surprised. He gave a begrudging nod. "Likes, or at least tolerates more than most. Considering how long he has gone without sex and the fact that you're the only one his age in the house, his choices are rather limited. Far be it from me to take away his best chance at getting laid sometime this century. So instead of assigning the ruin of your life as my next pet project, I'm just going to lay out some ground rules."

Naruto frowned suddenly. "Wait, hold it, who said you get to make rules? It's my house - if anyone's gonna-"

"Shut up," Kakashi smiled pleasantly, "I'm talking."

"What!"

Kakashi continued while the brat was busy sputtering his way to an explosion. "First rule, you break it, you buy it."

"What does that even mean?" Naruto scowled. "And I didn't say you could make rules! I'm not gonna follow your rules." He didn't even follow Iruka's rules unless he absolutely had to. He glared at the pervert and sent a sullen, 'On second thought, go ahead and eat him. Just knock me out or something till it's over.'

'Maybe later,' Kyuubi hummed, 'this is interesting.'

'How?' demanded Naruto. A painful tug on his left ear brought his attention back to the smiling pervert. He gaped and pointed a shocked finger at Kakashi. 'He touched me! Kill him!'

Kyuubi snickered quietly.

"Try to pay attention for longer than twenty seconds," said Kakashi. "The first rule applies to sparring. The cut was mine. I did it, I take care of it. The broken arm is yours. You did it, you haven't taken care of it. I was going to take care of the cut when you so rudely interrupted with your unfounded accusations. You made it your responsibility when you dragged him off. That means if it gets infected or ripped open the first time he wakes up too quickly, I'm going to blame you. I'll enjoy making you regret it. In the meantime, do something about that arm. And," he raised his voice when Naruto blanched and started to protest, "don't say it was an accident. I know exactly how much damage it takes to break one of his bones. I have been beating on him a lot longer than you have, after all."

"It was an accident!" Naruto blurted. "And what do you mean, fix it? I tried taking him to a hospital and he hid on the roof! What was I supposed to do? And I already know you beat on him. He told me all about you guys 'sparring' together. There's not gonna be any more of that. He's grounded and I got your number now."

Kakashi's eye ticked at the way the brat turned the word 'sparring' into something slimy. Was this really Iruka's kid? They were nothing alike. "That's between me and him. You get no say in it."

"Yes I do! Someone's gotta take care of him. He's too stubborn to do it himself."

"What do you think I've been doing for the last two years?" asked Kakashi.

'Turning him into a skittish twitchy mess,' sniffed Kyuubi. Naruto repeated that faithfully and earned another eye-twitch from Kakashi.

"I'll have you know he was twitchy long before he met me," Kakashi glowered. "Try learning more about him before you start making his decisions for him. Since you're very stupid, I'll even give you a tip. Ask him about his brother."

Naruto swallowed his retaliatory insult. He felt as if he had run right smack into a brick wall. Sasuke had family? He had assumed he was an orphan like him. Why else would he be traveling around with an abusive bossy old pervert like Kakashi?

"You see?" Kakashi smiled, pleased with Naruto's stunned expression. "Very stupid. As for fixing it, well, you'll have to take that up with your fox. His residual energy managed to heal the scratches he made quite nicely, earlier. Can I assume he's paying attention as well? The second rule is for him."

Kyuubi lashed his tails, eyes narrowed in a sly, amused smile. 'Tell him I'm all ears.'

"He's all ears," Naruto muttered. He hated being a go-between for Kyuubi. The last time anyone had addressed the fox instead of him was back in the hospital. It was uncomfortable.

'I could always come forward and talk for myself now,' Kyuubi offered. He sniffed when Naruto shot that idea down flat.

"Good," said Kakashi. "Second rule, you rape him, I kill you."

Naruto blanched. His hands curled into furious fists and he stared at Kakashi in disbelief. He would never. That anyone could even accuse him of it - and Kakashi was smiling so pleasantly he hadn't seen that coming - and why did that smile send shivers down his back when he knew it was an empty threat anyway because he would never-

'That was for me,' Kyuubi reminded him. His tails lashed again, an amused rumble stuttering up to go with his sly smile. 'A good rule. Tell him the same thing applies for Iruka. Only instead of killing him, I'll make him wish I had.'

Naruto diligently repeated the threat. Somehow it didn't sound as convincing in his own voice as it did in Kyuubi's amused purring tone. Then he took a mental step back. Something had gone wrong here. He should have been beating the daylights out of the pervert by now, or at least watching as Kyuubi mutilated him beyond recognition. He didn't understand why they were having this talk. Oh, he could get the Kyuubi thing - the fox openly admitted he would love to rape Sasuke first chance he got, without feeling the slightest bit guilty about it. But that was just one of the fox's perverted fantasies. It was never going to happen because Naruto wouldn't let it, and he could have told the pervert that and stopped the talk the second it started. Now he was so confused he wasn't even sure if Kakashi was still the bad guy. Kyuubi didn't seem mad at him. Kyuubi should have been even more furious than he was. They had always been protective and possessive of their people. Well, okay, their people was usually limited to Iruka alone, but still. Naruto was sure Sasuke fell under that heading. Didn't Kyuubi think so, too?

'Not yet,' Kyuubi shrugged. 'He may be later. For now he's convenient and I want him. If you want to keep him afterward, I'll support you, but that's up to you. As long as the pervert doesn't try to sample him first, I don't care if they spar. He didn't kill him. If anything, he made it easier for me now that he's weakened and vulnerable. I'd sooner thank him than attack him for doing that.'

'I thought you liked him!' Naruto cried. 'You said so! Hell, you liked him before I did!'

'I wanted him before you did,' Kyuubi corrected. 'I liked him about the same time you started to. I also like tuna. The difference is that he will provide more of a challenge before I can partake. And you, with your bleeding heart and teenage hormones will make it both easier and more difficult for me to get what I want. I like a challenge. Don't romanticize this. What you're feeling, you're feeling for yourself. It has nothing to do with me. Nor should it.'

'But you were the same,' Naruto countered, 'with the dog! And with the pervert! Because they touched him, you got all protective just like we do with Iruka-sensei, so-'

Kyuubi's tone darkened dangerously at the reminder. He had always been one to hold a grudge. 'He shouldn't have touched him in front of me.'

'Then-'

'I'm the same way with my food,' Kyuubi sniffed. 'All it means is that I don't like to share until I've had my fill. That's it. We're through discussing this.'

Naruto glowered at the stubborn, almost snooty tone. He didn't buy it. Not one bit. Kyuubi pulled the same denial when Naruto pressed him about Iruka. He would go on about how Iruka was useful, necessary to their continued existence, a source of comfort for his weak emotional side - aka, Naruto - and that because he knew them so well he was essentially irreplaceable and worth protecting and keeping at all costs. Never would the fox admit he cared about him as a person. It was always in terms of what Kyuubi got out of the relationship. Naruto knew Kyuubi cared at least a little about Sasuke, just from the way he had reacted to those pictures the stalker had left. Kyuubi was the one who had suggested he hide them so Sasuke wouldn't get worried and paranoid over something he couldn't change. And Kyuubi had actually been jealous that Sasuke was paying attention to him, without even noticing Kyuubi. That didn't go along with his story very well. Kyuubi was definitely in denial. And Naruto should have been used to it by now. Kyuubi didn't relate to emotions well, took pride in that fact, and dismissed anything that couldn't be explained away through selfish motivations. That was just the way the fox was, territorial, jealous, greedy, and quick to deny any emotions that were too openly 'human' for his taste. He was Kyuubi. He thought in terms of food, shelter, and sex. Only Kyuubi would compare a person to food. Tuna, even! He could at least compare him to ramen.

'I don't like ramen,' Kyuubi reminded him. He had never understand Naruto's penchant to live off a meatless noodle-based diet.

More proof that the fox was insane, Naruto sighed. It was a wonder he even bothered having conversations with him. When they disagreed there was nothing to do except air their differences and walk away. Figuratively speaking since they were stuck in the same body together.

"Your energy is much better now," Kakashi remarked. Naruto blinked dazedly for a second before focusing on him. He gave a pleased smile when the kid's eyes widened at the sight of his sharingan. "Gift from Sasuke. Almost makes us family, you know. Now that I've got your attention back, let's finish this, shall we? Third rule, learn it before you use it." He explained before Naruto could do more than screw his face up into a squinty scowl. "Your energy is all over the place. Your fox's energy, your combined energy, all of it. That makes you dangerous and essentially useless as a sparring partner. With Sasuke as your partner, that means you'll either kill him or be killed by him. While I wouldn't mind the latter, I suspect Iruka might resent it happening on my watch. So you're going to learn the basics. Since you're very stupid, this could take a while. We should start immediately."

Naruto choked and blurted, "Stop calling me stupid! Do it again and, I swear, I'm gonna kick your ass!"

"You're very stupid," Kakashi beamed. "Now let's get on with the attempted ass kicking. And while you're making a fool of yourself, have your fox focus on defense. You have too much energy to have such a pathetic lack of defense. It's no wonder your fox had to slink into the house after Sasuke took him out, earlier. Instant healing at the expense of all of your energy? Even with a quick recovery time, that's hardly worth it."

Anger flared in the back of Naruto's throat, almost as if his stomach were boiling. Kyuubi was pissed. Why? Because the pervert was insulting their use of energy?

'He was watching,' Kyuubi growled. 'Watching me. Us. And I didn't even sense him...'

'When?' Naruto demanded, staring at the beaming pervert in question. A furious blush suddenly erupted on his face. 'You mean on the roof? When we were - I was - with Sasuke?' Kyuubi just growled, his fur bunching around his neck, and Naruto let out a horrified cry. "You pervert!" he yelped at Kakashi. "You were watching us!"

"Yes, I was," said Kakashi. "And, sadly, I was not the least bit impressed. You're very stupid, after all. You should have known better than to bite a paranoid wannabe psychopath on the neck without expecting a violent reaction. All that advice I gave you in the drugstore and you couldn't even make it through the foreplay unscathed. Rather pathetic, really."

Kakashi took a casual step back, sliding the band back over the sharingan. He had seen enough to know the brat was appropriately riled now. The fox as well, if the roiling energy was any evidence. Assuming he could keep them angry and working together, this would be a short and potentially interesting exercise. He didn't have the energy for more at the moment, and as depleted as Naruto's energy still was from the fox's encounter with Sasuke, the kid would be wiped out quickly, too. All it would take was a semi-deadly injury and he already knew the fox, or Naruto, whoever controlled the healing, would waste the last of his reserves without a moment's hesitation. That was another basic lesson the brat had obviously never learned. Kakashi didn't fancy himself much of a teacher, but he had gotten rather fond of tormenting young mutant brats who thought they were better at fighting than they actually were. If Naruto was even half as entertaining as Sasuke, it would be well worth his time.

"Come on, stupid," Kakashi smiled, beckoning the growling blonde to follow him through the trees and into the field. "My ass is waiting for your foot. Unless you'd rather we stay and discuss your lacking foreplay technique some more." He was pleased to note that Naruto's voice was half as deep as the fox's had been in the kitchen that time. So he had them both. Perfect.

"I'm going to mutilate you," Naruto promised. He didn't know if it was him talking or Kyuubi, and he didn't care.

Kakashi just smiled wider, "You're going to try."

.-.

Iruka didn't realize how popular he had become until word got out that he had suffered a mishap and was now confined to a cot of his own. Even the antisocial few who had watched him warily, resentfully turning away the second he finished healing them, now made grudging passes to look in on him. Although they were no more inclined to speak now than they had been when they were the ones confined to a cot, he appreciated the gesture. They reminded him of himself at that age. Jaded, distant, unwilling to trust and unable to express even simple emotions like gratitude without it feeling wrong.

His regular visitors were the ones he had talked to the most, who were also the ones who had spent the least amount of time in captivity. They couldn't relate to the silent ones. They were still friendly, lonely, and young enough to eagerly latch on to someone they saw as a reliable but not condescending parental figure.

Kiba found the silent passes amusing. He had tried talking to a few of those kids and had come away convinced they were stranger and potentially more dangerous than any of their jailers had been. He kept up a running commentary on each one, as much for his own amusement as for Iruka's.

"She bites her fingernails," he said, after a dark-haired girl had stopped by, stared at Iruka for a moment, and then left without so much as a nod. "Till they bleed. Then she writes stuff with the blood all over her arms. No idea what it means, but the smell drove me nuts. I had to move to the other side of the room just to breathe."

"She seems nice enough to me," Iruka said firmly. The girl had been a wreck when he had first arrived and Bunchu directed him to heal her. She'd had metal tubes implanted in her arms, the purpose of which he had asked Bunchu not to share with him. He didn't want to know. It had taken hours to remove them without her bleeding to death or lashing out with her talent. Kiba had no idea. That was just as well. Iruka suspected she would be slipping away sometime tonight, taking her secrets along with her.

"Maybe," Kiba shrugged. He went quiet as another kid passed within a few feet of them, sending a long look at Iruka before cringing at the sight of Akamaru, who was napping at Kiba's feet. Kiba wrinkled his nose at him. "That one's sick. He started screaming when Bunchu looked at him with that eye of his. Freaked everyone out. Liked to never got him to shut up. Go anywhere near him and he jumps, but if you even look at him from a distance he glares like he knows exactly what you're thinking. His brother's not bad, only you can't talk to him without the freak throwing a hissy fit. Funny they're so different."

"They keep to themselves," said Iruka. He had healed the brother. Twins, identical except for talents. Disturbing talents and the sort of relationship that made him glad they wanted nothing more to do with him. As much as he would have liked to be able to help every child he met, he knew when to leave well enough alone. The fact that the skittish brother was interested enough to look at him made him glad he had Kiba keeping him company. Even Bunchu was reluctant to go near those two.

Kiba sent one more queasy look after the boy and shivered. "I think they're screwing each other," he muttered. "They smell like it."

"I'd rather not know," Iruka said quickly. "Change the subject, please."

"Sorry," Kiba winced. Akamaru lifted his head and chuffed at him. He leaned down to scratch behind his ears. When he spoke, it was in a more tentative voice. "You serious about taking us with you? I can get along on my own, you know. I was roughing it years before those guys picked me up. Not like I'd let that happen again."

Iruka nodded, "You're welcome to come with me."

"Akamaru, too?" Kiba prodded. Iruka nodded again, and he grinned, "I can tell you're skittish of him. He likes you, you know, for healing his nose. Dogs don't forget stuff like that. Might seem like a little injury, but something like that can really screw with his smell. That's like being half blind and deaf, with your fingers cut off. He's got himself convinced you're part of the pack now. Little brother, eh? I told him you'd be the alpha if we went with you, he just doesn't think like that. Might take a while before he gets used to the idea of someone other than me being the boss of him."

"I wouldn't try to boss him around," said Iruka. "As long as he doesn't make a mess of the house, he'd be your responsibility." Kyuubi wasn't going to like it at all. Iruka would worry about that later. Naruto would probably like Kiba enough to convince Kyuubi to put up with the dog. It wasn't as if he could expect Kiba to separate from Akamaru now. From what little Kiba had told him, the two of them had been traveling together since Akamaru was a newborn puppy. They were more like brothers than owner and pet. "He's very well behaved."

Kiba nodded, smiling proudly at Akamaru, who whoofed quietly in agreement. "That's because he understands what's expected of him." He met Akamaru's eye and gave him a playful image of a big house with Iruka as the lead dog and him and Akamaru as the pack runners. Akamaru answered with a lolling grin of amusement, sending his own image of a little floppy-eared Iruka scampering after two dogs twice his size with the power of his bark alone. Kiba laughed. "He still doesn't think you'll make alpha. Ain't got the teeth for it."

"I'll have to work on that," Iruka murmured. "You do know I have already agreed to take the girls with me?"

"Yeah," Kiba sighed, grimacing. "Wish you'd think that over. That Ino's a pain in the ass. And the other one's about as bossy as they come. Put the two together and, ugh, never a moment of peace."

Iruka smiled. He had been surprised to learn that Kiba hadn't been helping for the girls' sake when he had sent Akamaru to find them. Iruka had assumed it was because they had gotten along before he had arrived. Now he knew it was because of him. Akamaru hadn't wanted him wandering around the basement by himself, part of that 'little brother' image he seemed to have, and Kiba had wanted to help in gratitude for the healing he had done on the two of them, particularly on Akamaru. Ino wasn't the only one who had a problem with the boy's habit of treating his dog better than people. It turned out quite a few of the kids looked askance at the two of them, Kiba and his dog. As far as Iruka was concerned, Kiba's relationship with his dog was no stranger than Naruto and Kyuubi.

"I'm sure they'll get along eventually," said Iruka. "And Sakura's not really bossy, just concerned."

"If you say so," Kiba grimaced. "You're sure fast to forgive her. There's a couple people around here who think she should have gotten something for messing you up after you helped her and all." He waved a hand before Iruka could protest. "I'm not one of them. I know it was an accident. I'm just saying she's not real popular around here now. Even the silent ones look at her funny. It's a good thing you're taking her with you. I get the feeling a few of them wouldn't mind tracking her down later if she went off on her own. Whether that's cause they like you, or they're just looking for an easy target, I don't know. Doesn't help that Bunchu has her fixing up the worst of them. You ask me, some of them would have been better left in that place. Just 'cause they're all mutants doesn't mean they're good guys, you know? Some of them are fucking nuts."

Iruka couldn't argue with that. Bunchu had kept him clear of the most dangerous ones, partly because they were injured too seriously for him to help, partly because they were psychotic enough to try attacking even with Bunchu there to restrain them. He didn't like the idea of Sakura being used to heal them. Yes, with her talent she was the only one capable of healing serious injuries, and Bunchu would know which were injured badly enough to benefit from her sudden excess energy. That didn't change what the kids were. Not all of the kids who had been rescued were victims. The idea of Sakura going anywhere near them was disturbing.

Iruka shifted uneasily on his cot. He was under strict orders not to walk around until he had recovered enough energy to heal his hands. Bunchu had refused to tell him which ones he was taking Sakura to heal. She had jumped at the chance to vent some of her guilt, to see her talents heal instead of hurt. They were taking advantage of her eagerness to help, endangering her, and now that Iruka was reminded of it, he couldn't sit still.

"Would you mind checking on them?" he asked Kiba. He gave a weak smile. "I haven't seen them in a while."

"What," Kiba sniffed, "and leave you here alone when you can't even get up? Didn't I just say some of them are nuts? You even got that twin eyeballing you now that you're laid up." Akamaru cocked his head, looking at Iruka with concern. Kiba nodded at him. "Akamaru will go check on the girls, if you want. I'm not trying to insult you or anything, but you're like a kitten right now. No telling what they'd try now that most of them are healed enough to move around."

"All right," Iruka sighed. He nodded at Akamaru, "I'd appreciate it. Just a peek to make sure they're fine?" The puppy lolled an open mouthed grin and trotted off. He shook his head at Kiba once the dog was out of sight. "A kitten?"

"Well," Kiba hedged, "I don't mean it as an insult. Cats got claws and teeth, and they're fast and wily, you know. I've met a few who were damn smart for being cats." He grimaced a little. He kept trying to watch his language around Iruka, but so far he wasn't having much luck. It had been way too long since he had tried to be polite. Too much time talking to animals, maybe. With them it was all about the image, the idea, not the words. On the other hand, animals never lied, so they were easier to talk to than people. "All I meant is you've been declawed. You're too young to compare you to a toothless dog, after all. I didn't mean anything by it."

"You could have said I have been muzzled," Iruka commented. He was teasing. It amused him that Kiba, who had already shown a penchant for comparing people to animals, would dub him cat rather than dog. "I'll have you know I've been referred to as a shark more than once for my bite."

"Yeah?" Kiba blinked. He shifted uncomfortably. "I can't relate to fish. Birds, reptiles, none of that. It's mostly dogs, a few cats - just the ones that been around people a lot. I did catch a bear once, but he didn't make much sense. Not many wild animals around these days aside from squirrels and the like." He snorted softly. "Try getting sense out of a squirrel. Curious but jittery, or scared to the point where they take off as soon as they catch my scent. Take that Ino, she's definitely squirrel, for all she fancies herself a sleek cat. Sakura, now, she's so sure she's an alpha dog she don't even know she's a bitch."

"Kiba!"

"Oh!" Kiba grimaced, blushing faintly. "I didn't mean it like that!" He squirmed and scowled at his lap. He had definitely spent too much time in the company of animals. "I just meant female," he mumbled. "Sorry."

"Even referring to her as a female dog would be considered insulting," Iruka sighed. "I know you didn't mean it that way." He hadn't meant to snap at him. It was just hearing Kiba call her the same thing Tenka had, when neither of them had any idea of the things she had gone through, or why she acted the way she did. It wasn't fair. "Don't beat yourself up," he said quickly, flashing a smile at the boy. "I'm sure you'll get along with the girls fine once you get to know each other."

"Yeah," Kiba muttered. "Maybe. I don't know much about girls, is all."

"Neither do I," Iruka admitted. "But I've learned that stereotypes fit no one. Especially women. So if you have been thinking of girls as sweet innocent flowers, or sly cats that play hard to get when they're in heat, you should stop as soon as possible." Kiba flashed him a worried look, telling him he had guessed exactly right. Iruka grinned. "That sort of thinking will get you into a world of trouble. Don't think of them as girls. Just approach them as people until you get used to their quirks. And try to keep the animal comparisons to a minimum."

"Right," said Kiba. He sent a considering look at Iruka. Then he shook his head. "You kinda remind me of a wolf I met once, only you're not old enough." And that oldtimer hadn't had any respect for people, while Iruka seemed to like them as a whole. "If you pick em as well as you talk, you'll make a good leader."

"A den mother?" Iruka asked playfully.

Kiba snorted. "Yeah, except you're not a bitch - a female," he corrected, grimacing.

Iruka laughed, "I'll take that as a compliment, then."

"That's how I meant it."

.-.

Sasuke woke to the sound of someone knocking on the door. He wouldn't have gotten up if he hadn't suspected the knocks had been going on for a while. The sound brought a strange tightness into the back of his throat. How many years had it been since he had heard that? Kakashi never knocked when they had stayed in hotels. Attackers didn't bother knocking. They had never had any other visitors during their travels. Even when he had been a child, he had never answered the door when a person knocked. His mother or, if he were home, his father would answer. The old familiar sound brought a rush of almost childish curiosity to go with the nostalgia. Sasuke crushed it mercilessly. Good memories were the same as bad ones, useless.

He paused long enough to change his ruined shirt, scowling as he pulled on one of the new ones they had gotten during their shopping trip. Kakashi must have unpacked them while he was away in the fields. His closet was now filled with more clothing than he would ever need. A waste of money. Charity. As if it wasn't enough that Iruka was giving him food and place to stay. The shirt was too loose on him, almost covering his shorts with sleeves that reached past his elbow. That would be impractical in a fight, but it was useful now. It hid the binding he had wrapped around his arm.

He ran a hand through his hair on the way downstairs. It was getting long again. He had never understood why his hair grew so quickly when the rest of him didn't. Maybe all that time in the hospital as a child had stunted his growth. There was no telling what effect suddenly becoming a mutant could have had on his metabolism. Then again, Itachi had hit his growth spurt late, and his hair had always been long. All the more reason to chop it off.

Several things occurred to him when he reached the front hall. He didn't remember getting into bed. The last thing he remembered was standing up after Naruto unlocked the bathroom door. Had he passed out? It wouldn't be the first time. He hoped he had waited until Naruto had left the room. It was bad enough having Kakashi tease him over something like that. He would never hear the end of it if Naruto had put him to bed. On the heels of that thought was the realization that he was answering the door of someone else's home. Meaning he was the only one in the house. He immediately thought of a dozen reasons for Kakashi and Naruto to both be absent just now. He didn't like any of them. The last thing to occur to him was the least important. That squeaky step on the stairway hadn't made a sound when he had stepped on it. Kakashi must have done something. It was just like him to eliminate anything that kept him from sneaking around however he pleased.

There was a woman and a girl on the doorstep when he opened the door. The woman was tall with curly black hair reaching past her shoulders and dark eyes that were more red than brown. She blinked, looking over his head for a moment, and then smirked when she caught sight of him. Sasuke was suddenly glad he had mastered his politely blank mask. The way she smirked made him want to sneer.

"Oh," she exclaimed, with a light laugh, "aren't you a looker. No wonder the gossips have been going on about Iruka having a teen model living with him. You do look the part."

Sasuke stared at her for a moment and then looked at the girl standing beside and a tad behind her. She was around his age, black hair like the woman's except it was cropped short, and pale eyes that were locked on her fidgeting hands. He glanced up again, "Can I help you?"

"I'm Kurenai," she smiled. "And this is Hinata. I work with Iruka at the school. Is he home?"

"No," said Sasuke. "He won't be back until this weekend."

The woman frowned at that. "I didn't know he was going on a trip. I told him I'd have an answer by today, and he never said anything about being gone."

"It was unexpected."

"Clearly," Kurenai frowned. She sighed and sent a look from Sasuke to the hall beyond him. "Well, I guess it can wait. In the meantime, let me be the first to welcome you to town." She smirked again, not the least bit fooled by Sasuke's expressionless face. "You really have caused quite a stir. We don't get many Asians around here. Hinata and I are among the few. Iruka and Naruto don't look the part, especially Naruto."

"Is Naruto-kun home?" the girl asked suddenly.

Sasuke looked over, meeting her pale gaze for just a second before she dropped her eyes and ducked back a step. As if she expected him to hit her for speaking. He frowned. He had never had a normal person his age be afraid at first sight of him. He didn't know what to make of it. "He must have gone out somewhere," he said. Probably out in the fields being tortured by Kakashi, if Sasuke's guess was accurate. The girl flicked a peek at him and flinched, looking away and chewing her lip. She looked a few seconds away from bolting. Sasuke's frown deepened.

"That's too bad," said Kurenai. She put a hand on the girl's head and smiled at Sasuke. "I was going to invite Iruka and his guests to dinner this Friday. Since Iruka's gone, that's even more reason to invite you all. Naruto should have the number, just tell him to call if you're coming. And if we could get your name before we go?"

Sasuke winced. Etiquette. He knew better than that. "Sasuke."

"Well, then," smiled Kurenai. "It was nice meeting you, Sasuke."

"Nice meeting you," Hinata echoed, her whisper directed at her feet and so quiet it was barely audible.

Sasuke nodded and waited until they had turned away before shutting the door. Then he went down the hall, through the dining room, and out the back door. Kakashi would be cutting his torture session short, today. He needed to have a few words with Naruto.

.-.

"And what have we learned from this?" asked Kakashi. He paused expectantly and nodded when a strenuous growl answered him. "That's right, brute strength and raw energy gets you absolutely nowhere. Good boy! You're coming along wonderfully!"

"...kill you..." Naruto ground out, his bared teeth inches above the ground.

Kakashi nodded encouragingly. "If you can get to your feet you just might. In about eight years. Of course, if you had listened to me earlier, you wouldn't be in this position. I admit I was wrong, you know. You aren't stupid so much as stubborn. Stubborn personified, which is much worse. At this rate you'll burn yourself out long before you get a handle on that energy."

Naruto didn't hear him. Kyuubi might have, except he wasn't paying attention, either. They were entirely united under one cycling thought. Kill him. Get up and kill him. He was only one foot away. Thinking that, knowing that, didn't help. He couldn't get up. He could barely keep from slamming into the ground. All it had taken was one touch. They had chased him all over the place. Kyuubi had even started up that fire-like energy of his and sent that after him, and the cowardly bastard just kept dodging, carelessly, playfully, as if it was the easiest thing ever. And then, just when Kakashi had finally stopped his ridiculous dancing around, the bastard had touched them. One touch and it felt as if every piece of him, all the way down to his hair, weighed a ton. Kyuubi was blazing. Naruto could see the energy himself, that burning reddish flame singing away at the grass without actually lighting anything on fire. He knew Kakashi could see it too, because he had stepped back after Naruto dropped and hadn't edged closer until the energy started to falter. That was Naruto's plan. He had always been better at thinking in a pinch than Kyuubi.

Kakashi was close enough now that he could reach out and grab him. All it would take was one hit. But in order to get him so close he had been forced to sacrifice some of his energy, let it drop until Kakashi felt it safe enough to edge closer. And with that drop, he didn't have enough strength to get up. Forget lunging if he couldn't get up.

Naruto closed his eyes and concentrated on his knees. 'There, Kyuubi,' he said quickly, raising his mental voice to be heard over the fox's infuriated growls. 'The invisible kind. The kind he can't see without Sasuke's eye. He's not using that eye, so he won't see anything but the red stuff.'

'We don't know that,' Kyuubi snapped.

'You said it earlier,' Naruto reminded him. 'He only talked about our energy after he used the eye, up until we started with the visible red stuff. You said so.'

'I could be wrong.'

'You're not,' said Naruto. 'He wouldn't be so close if he could see what we have left.'

'We don't have much left,' Kyuubi reminded him sullenly. He resented this. He could have attacked minutes ago with what energy he had left. Every second he waited was that much more of his reserves burned away just keeping them upright. And all because Naruto had to go and think up one of his bizarre strategies at the last second. He was tempted to fight him. His own plan of simply blasting the bastard with everything he had left might not work, but there was no guarantee that Naruto's plan would work, either. At least Kyuubi's plan would mean less suffering. The longer they waited the more it ate at his pride. Much more and he would snap and not even Naruto would be able to stop him.

'So stop bitching and cooperate,' Naruto growled. Kyuubi was so annoying when he was frustrated and cranky. 'If I can get my knees up, I can put weight on my toes and we'll be all set to lunge. Let go now and we'll lose seconds getting up enough to ready a lunge.'

'Take it, then,' Kyuubi huffed. 'There's not much. You can control it as easily as I can. It's your plan. Better work, or I'll never let you live it down.'

'It'll work,' said Naruto. He pulled at his energy, a strange sensation considering how seldom he had been left in full control of their reserves. He wondered if this was what Sasuke had done when he had reinforced that bandage. Even if his eyes had been open, he wouldn't have been able to see it, but he could feel it. It burned. His muscles hurt from holding him off the ground, his entire body felt like it was quivering, but that energy burned as it moved. 'Is it healing at the same time? I'm not really injured.'

'Strained muscles,' Kyuubi muttered. 'That's an injury. Think of a rope pulled thin to the point of fraying. Doesn't matter.'

'Yeah, okay.' Naruto forced his eyes open. That visible red fire-like stuff burned to look at. He let out a low groan for Kakashi's benefit, noting smugly that the bastard had edged even closer in the last minute. He would barely have to move to catch his ankle. 'Here we go, asshole.'

Kyuubi gave a warning growl, 'Was that for me or him?'

'Both,' Naruto said cheekily.

A dark grin pulled at his mouth, his face still aimed at the ground. He inched up, coiled, gathered, and lunged. It happened too quickly to think. He was up, exhilarated to be off the ground, airborne, even. The weight was probably still there, but he didn't feel it. That red energy he had been using for show was pulling tight now, making up for the effort, easing the stress, Kyuubi's instincts to heal taking over without any direction on his part. Kakashi flinched back, his eye widening, right arm lifting to block the clawed hand aiming for his neck. Naruto was disappointed by his immediate reaction. Surprise, but not a hint of fear. His hand closed over Kakashi's raised arm and the strength of his lunge pushed the man backwards. Kakashi was going down and Naruto was going to keep him there, pinned, stationary, no more of that taunting dancing around and treating him like a bumbling idiot who had never fought in his life.

His right hand curled on the way down, aiming to catch hold of Kakashi's throat, his left hand still closed tight over that raised arm. There was a strange chirping sound in his ear. His head jerked slightly to his right. He caught sight of something silvery and glinting, curling all over Kakashi's left arm. Then he heard a whistle, high and piercing enough that Kyuubi cringed despite his distraction. The next thing Naruto knew he was being thrown back, light blazing behind his eyes, his left hand numb and tingling as if he had just stuck it into a bucket of icy water. He hit the ground hard and rolled twice before Kyuubi shot forward to push them to their knees. Naruto couldn't see anything at first, but Kyuubi could. What he saw made him even angrier than being humiliated and tormented had.

Naruto blinked groggily at Kakashi. The man was sitting on the ground, looking flustered and surprised. That silvery light was still curling around his left arm. Only now there was something shielding him. A bubble, translucent, ivory and lavender and swirly like the inside of a seashell. Naruto stared at it in confusion. Kyuubi snapped his head to the left, a furious glare taking over their face. Sasuke was standing on the hill a few yards away, glaring every bit as angrily as Kyuubi, except Sasuke was glaring at Kakashi. Naruto took control long enough to look at Kakashi. He was climbing to his feet now, still enclosed in that pretty bubble.

"I thought we agreed never to use that on each other," Kakashi called, a frown visible through his mask.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "We did. And you told me you'd never use the chidori on anyone else unless you wanted them dead."

Kakashi glanced at Naruto. Then he sighed and scratched at the back of his neck. "Instinct," he admitted. "I wasn't planning on it."

"You still did it," said Sasuke.

"Yeah..." Kakashi shot a quick look in Naruto's direction and dropped his eyes. "Sorry about that."

'What happened?' Naruto blurted. He felt heady, from the impact with that bubble, and from the shattered anticipation of having his attack cut off right at the best part. No, not just heady, he felt cheated. And he didn't even know what had gone wrong. 'What happened?' he demanded. 'Kyuubi?'

A low growl sounded in response, quiet at first, then louder, rumbling up until it almost hurt his ears and he could feel it down to his fingertips. Then they were up and moving again, faster than that final lunge at Kakashi. Naruto didn't realize what was happening until he heard Sasuke grunt from the impact. Sasuke was down in a second, one clawed hand closed over his left wrist, the other digging dangerously into his bandaged side. Naruto panicked.

'Kyuubi! Stop it!' Naruto yelled. 'What are you doing? Stop it! It's Sasuke! Are you nuts? He's injured!'

'I know that,' Kyuubi hissed. He leaned closer, glaring into narrow black eyes. Black, because Sasuke wasn't even bothering to use his talents to fend him off. His left hand shifted under Sasuke's shirt so there was nothing but thin bandages separating his claws and that injury. One flex was all it would take. And still those eyes were black.

"You interfered," Kyuubi growled. "Why?"

"He went too far," said Sasuke. His tone was absolutely calm. He couldn't hide how tense he was, but he wasn't intimidated. Not at all.

"So you protected him," Kyuubi snapped.

'Kyuubi,' Naruto said quietly. 'Kyuubi, come on. It was just a fight. Don't be mad. He's injured and you're gonna hurt him.' Only that wasn't what bothered him most. Kyuubi didn't want to hurt him. He wanted to terrify him. The thought of Sasuke being afraid of him, even if it was just Kyuubi, was too much. Naruto eased forward. Their claws were too close to Sasuke for him to wrestle Kyuubi for control. One twitch and they would cut right into him. 'I swear, if you scare him, I'll never forgive you.'

'Does he look scared to you?' Kyuubi rounded, in a blistering tone. 'Pay attention! How many times does he have to almost kill us before you realize how dangerous he is?'

Naruto flinched back in surprise. It wasn't until he eased forward again that he felt the pain at his neck. He couldn't help but smile. As fast as Kyuubi had tackled him, Sasuke had still managed to react in time to make it a stand off. One flex of their claws and he would be gutted, and one push of Sasuke's wrist and their neck would be slit. 'Cool,'Naruto murmured. He promptly winced when Kyuubi went off on him, mentally, since the fox was as motionless as ever. 'Come on,' he wheedled, 'it's cool. That's his broken arm, after all. And he's not even using his talents.'

Kyuubi ignored him and hissed again, "Why?"

"I was protecting you," Sasuke said, in a condescending tone. "Kakashi doesn't need me to protect him. He knows how to defend himself. You don't."

Kyuubi seethed, so tempted to ignore that blade and bite him, scratch him, anything but lean back and concede. It wasn't in him to concede. He leaned closer, feeling his skin split as that razor sharp knife dug deeper into his neck. If only they hadn't wasted so much energy on Kakashi, he would have been able to heal the injury no matter how deeply the knife cut them. "The next time you see me, I'm going to make you scream."

A smirk pulled at Sasuke's face. He had heard far worse threats from men in far better condition to deliver them. If Naruto's fox thought that worried him, it had a lot to learn. "You're welcome to try," he murmured. "Any time."

"Okay," Kakashi called, "that's enough, you two. How about you guys do your threatening foreplay somewhere else? Not that I don't appreciate seeing how well you're getting along. I'd just rather not be trapped where I have to listen to it."

Kyuubi let out a howl of pure frustration and darted past Naruto, intent on tearing up as many things as he could imagine until he passed out from the second energy drain in one day. Naruto wavered when he suddenly found himself in control. He should have known Sasuke would kick him off the second he loosened his grip. He landed hard on his back again and stayed there while he caught his breath. What a hectic five minutes...

Sasuke glared at Kakashi as he climbed to his feet. Kakashi had the nerve to smirk at him. Not worth the effort. He sniffed in annoyance and went over to Naruto. The blonde was blue-eyed again, looking as if he had just run a few dozen laps around the fields, followed by an all out power match with a playful pervert. That sounded about right, given Kakashi's penchant for tormenting people. "Meet me at the house," Sasuke muttered. "We have to talk."

"Eh?" Naruto blinked tiredly. "You're not mad at me? For Kyuubi being all-"

"No," Sasuke said. He turned one last glare on Kakashi and walked away. He made it as far as the hill before Kakashi realized he wasn't going to undo the energy barrier.

"Hey," Kakashi blurted. "Sasuke? Hey, buddy boy, aren't you forgetting something?" Something about the way Sasuke walked away told him the brat was smirking again. Kakashi glowered sullenly. "I didn't do it on purpose!" he hollered. Then he huffed and set down to busting the barrier the only way he knew how. So much for not using chidori a second time today. At least the blonde brat looked as tired as he did. "You did pretty good," he called at Naruto. "I never saw that last move coming."

"I know," Naruto smirked. He rolled onto his side so he could see the pervert better. "I'm really good at thinking up stuff like that."

"Ah," Kakashi nodded. "But it won't work a second time. Next time I'll be ready for you."

"Like there's gonna be a next time," scoffed Naruto. He was sure there would be, if only so Kyuubi could salvage his bruised ego. Naruto wasn't ready to admit they might have learned something from Kakashi's torture session. No way. He stretched, wincing at the soreness all over him. "How long is this heavy stuff gonna last, anyway?" he muttered.

Kakashi lifted his head in surprise. A sheepish expression broke out on his face again. "Oops. I completely forgot about that. The way you pounced Sasuke, it didn't even occur to me that you were still triple your weight. I'm surprised you didn't crush him. I'll take the weight off as soon as I get out of this bubble."

"What's with the bubble?" asked Naruto. He didn't have the energy to stand up, not weighing so much and having Kyuubi venting everything they had left on imaginary destruction. He had to suffice with rolling onto his stomach and frowning at the pervert in the bubble. "How did he do that?"

"The whistle," Kakashi sighed. "It works from a distance. It's supposed to be an energy barrier to protect people from attacks, but it works pretty well as a trap for those who don't have a way to get out. I picked it up from a mutant we met. Sasuke being who he is, he copied it the first time I used it. We ended up agreeing not to use it when we spar since it takes a lot more to break it than it does to set it in place. No sense getting exhausted in a fight and then being trapped in a bubble once it's over."

"It's girly looking," Naruto said, wrinkling his nose. "Like a seashell."

"Yeah," Kakashi admitted, "it really is. Do yourself a favor and get him to promise he won't use it on you. It's not the kind of shield you can break by pushing, so your talent wouldn't do much good. You have to cut it or pop it. And as far as we can tell, that only works from the inside."

"So it's a good shield for protecting people?"

"The best," said Kakashi. And he smirked at that. "I'm just surprised he put it on me instead of you, since you're the one he was protecting. He must have known you wouldn't be able to get out on your own." Except that wasn't precisely true. Sasuke could have removed the shield as easily as he had set in place. No, despite what Sasuke had said, he had been protecting them both. Naruto would have taken a nasty hit from his chidori, but he would have taken just as bad a hit if those claws had made it to his throat. Cute. He had never pictured Sasuke protecting anyone, certainly not him.

"Are you gonna pop that bubble any time soon?" Naruto groaned. "Even my fingers are heavy."

"Right," Kakashi said quickly. He gripped his left wrist and focused the remainder of his energy on his arm. It only took a moment to focus, considering how little energy he had left. Just enough to pop that shield. Then he yawned and flopped onto his back two feet from Naruto. "Okay, brat," he muttered. "You want me to lift that weight, roll over here. I'm not moving for at least an hour."

Naruto gaped. "You lazy bum!"

Kakashi just sniffed. "Your choice. If you'd rather stay like that till I wake up, it's fine with me."

"Bum," Naruto muttered. He grumbled and started the long roll over to the pervert. "Lazy perverted bum."

"Yeah," Kakashi drawled, "keep it up. I won't take the weight off at all."

"Then I'll roll on top of you and crush you," Naruto snapped. "Three times my weight? You'll be flattened in no time!"

Kakashi tilted onto his side so he could see the brat better. "You're too young to be on top of me. Go climb on someone your own age, you little pervert."

Naruto sputtered and gaped, and Kakashi rolled onto his back again, a satisfied smile spreading over his face. A little dangerous toward the end, maybe, but almost as fun as picking on Sasuke. He could get used to this.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Naruto didn't make it very far before the quivering got the best of him. Halfway back to the house, his muscles gave one final stubborn flex and then he collapsed in a warm puddle of goo. He sat stunned, almost bemused. It hurt. Not the way being cut or hit would hurt, just a heated ache, queasy, uncomfortable, tired, and it wouldn't go away even when he stopped moving. He had never felt anything like it. His entire life, at least what he remembered of it, pain had been a fleeting sensation immediately followed by an itchy healing and then he was raring to go. He'd had minor accidents, and there had been needles and tests before Kyuubi woke up, but those were fleeting, too, and they had never really hurt, not like this. The closest comparison he could make was waking up in the middle of the night, back when he had lived in the hospitals, and knowing he wouldn't get fed till morning. Some of those nights, particularly after Kyuubi had woken up, had been incredibly long, minutes creeping by while his stomach twisted and tried to eat itself.

He bent over his legs, huffed a soundless laugh, and promised himself never to take Kyuubi's healing for granted. If this was what it felt like to really use his talents against a mutant, he would have to get used to it. There was something satisfying about knowing that the ache was proof he had gone all out. He had certainly never gotten that from sparring with Hiko.

He didn't know how long he sat there, picking idly at the grass and marveling at the variety of aches he felt. Kyuubi had passed out mid rage, not even making it back to his nest. Naruto thought it was only fair that he stay where he had dropped, too. It would get dark before long and then he would try getting up again. Or maybe he would just wait until Kakashi finished his nap and headed back. He kept thinking about what Kyuubi had said about pulled muscles being like stretched ropes. If it ached from being stretched, how much would it hurt if it actually started tearing? Another good reason to wait a few minutes before he got up and tried again.

He was half asleep, still leaning over his folded legs, when a hand touched his back. He sat up in surprise. Sasuke. Crouching beside him, frowning at him with narrow red eyes. Naruto came fully awake with a wincing, "Oh!" He was supposed to meet him at the house. "Hey," he mumbled, dropping the bit of grass he had been playing with. "I was just-" He cut himself off, frowning suddenly. Did he need to make an excuse? He didn't think so.

Sasuke gave him a sweeping look with the sharingan. Then he sighed and leaned down to pull Naruto's right arm over his shoulders. "You should take your own advice," he said, in a bland tone. Naruto wobbled when he got him to his feet, confused eyes blurring at him. "Don't fight someone when you're already injured."

"I wasn't injured," Naruto protested. He was momentarily surprised that Sasuke was helping him, but he dismissed it quickly. He had done the same thing for Sasuke when he had caught him bleeding to death. And they were boyfriends, so it was only right. He still didn't like the lecturing tone Sasuke was using on him. "He started it, anyway."

"Which is why he'll be sleeping it off right where he fell," said Sasuke.

Naruto snorted, a weak grin spreading over his face. A few steps forward and the grin faltered. He wasn't walking very straight. His feet kept turning wrong, like his ankles couldn't hold him up properly. He shot a quick look at Sasuke, "Aren't I heavy?"

"Not as heavy as you were earlier," Sasuke muttered. "He took the cheap way out, using that talent on you. You should have waited a day before sparring with him. It's pointless fighting him when he's at half strength. He'll incapacitate you the first chance he gets."

"That was him at half strength?" Naruto asked, his face scrunching up. Kyuubi was not going to like that. Not one bit. "What's he like at full strength, then?"

"Annoying."

"That figures," Naruto muttered. He snuck another look at Sasuke. Even though it was fair for Sasuke to help him this time, it felt weird. Embarrassing, even. Yeah, he was tired and he hurt, but he wasn't actually injured. Sasuke was. And Sasuke seemed more as if he was doing a chore, like taking out the trash, than helping him because he wanted to. Sasuke wasn't the friendly type, Naruto reminded himself, and he wasn't really looking at him at all. Not to mention he had specifically told Sasuke to rest, because Sasuke was the one who needed looking after, not him. How was he supposed to watch out for Sasuke if he couldn't even walk back to the house without Sasuke's help? He tried to stand up straight and stumbled, almost taking them both down.

Sasuke let out a hiss as his arm was jarred, a tense frown flashing over his face, "Don't pull like that. If you want to walk on your own, say so."

One glance at Sasuke's red eyes, and Naruto grimaced. "Sorry," he mumbled, scowling off to the side. He absolutely wouldn't be taking Kyuubi for granted in the future. "Kyuubi passed out and it took the pervert forever to take the weight off."

"And you have next to no energy left," Sasuke finished. He shifted his grip on Naruto's arm and started forward again. "I can see that much. You'll burn yourself out at this rate."

Naruto frowned. Kakashi had said the same thing. "What does that mean? Burn yourself out?"

"Sleep, usually," said Sasuke. "A coma, if it's bad enough. The body shuts down until you recover enough energy to function. If it can't recover on its own, you either don't wake up or you die."

"Die?" Naruto demanded. "You can die from using too much energy?"

"So I've been told," Sasuke said quietly. "I've never seen it happen." Kakashi claimed to have seen it happen. Sasuke suspected Itachi's first 'experiments' had died in part because they had lacked the energy to sustain the sharingan. He had been put into enough comas himself to know how dangerous it was to be as low on energy as Naruto was right now. "If your fox wakes up before your energy comes back, don't let him heal you."

"How long should I wait?" asked Naruto. He was proud of how casual his voice came out. The thought of being stuck this weak and aching made his stomach clench. Yeah, he would have to get used to being low on energy and feeling pain now and then, but not all at once. He couldn't even stand up on his own! It was humiliating. There was no way he would be able to stay like this. He would go crazy. "Like, a few hours?"

Sasuke's head snapped around. "Hours?" No one recovered that quickly. "Do you monitor how much energy you use when you heal yourself?"

"Not really," Naruto frowned. "Kyuubi usually does that. I've never had to heal myself while he was sleeping."

"You use too much," Sasuke said sharply. "When you fought me, you used too much. When he healed himself after I threw him off the roof, he used even more. You have more energy than most people, so you probably never noticed how much you waste on healing. If you had better control, you might have enough energy to heal in a few hours. Haven't you ever talked to Iruka about healing? His control is perfect."

Naruto blinked in surprise. It was funny how Sasuke's tone shifted from biting to respectful the second he mentioned Iruka. "You know Iruka-sensei can only heal small stuff, right? And he can heal other people. I only heal myself."

"It's the same talent," said Sasuke. "All healers have the same basic type of energy," which he knew for a fact because it was one of those types he couldn't copy with the sharingan. "Yours is complicated because you have other talents in addition to healing. The amount of energy needed is still the same. It depends on the wound, not the person doing the healing."

"Oh." Naruto puzzled over that for a while. He was all for experimenting. Learning to control his energy had to be the first step to figuring out those tricks he and Kyuubi were aiming for. He wrinkled his nose, "But wouldn't that mean I'd have to hurt myself and then practice healing it?"

"Of course."

"I can't do that," Naruto blurted. "Iruka-sensei would kill me if he caught me doing that! He'd think I was a cutter!"

Sasuke jumped, caught off guard by Naruto's loud voice. He glared reproachfully and tilted his head away from him. "Don't scream in my ear," he muttered.

"Sorry," Naruto said, quieter this time. "But I'm serious. Iruka-sensei would throw a fit if he thought I was a cutter."

"What's a cutter?"

"You know," Naruto sighed. He waggled his left hand, fingers pinched over an imaginary razor. "A cutter. Emo kids."

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched at the suggestive gesture. Naruto couldn't be referring to what it looked like. Not when he had an arm around the idiot. He would kill him. "I have no idea what you're talking about." He glanced at Naruto's wrist and his eyebrow twitched again. "Stop doing that."

Naruto frowned from his hand to Sasuke, and back to his hand. He made one more cutting motion. Then his face turned bright red. "I didn't mean it like that!" If it had been anyone else, he would have called him a pervert. From what little he had seen, Sasuke was more prude than perv. "I meant cutting. You know, cutting yourself. Like cutting up your arms with a razor blade."

"Small cuts with a razor would be good to practice healing," Sasuke frowned. "It would be better to cut the back of your left hand, though. You could do that with your claws."

Naruto was shaking his head, grinning helplessly at how serious Sasuke sounded. "You've gotta be kidding. Iruka-sensei would never let me hurt myself. Even if I was doing it to practice, he still wouldn't like it. And I'm not the kinda guy who'd cut himself, anyway." Sasuke continued to frown at him, and his smile faltered. He sent a quick look to his left, at the arm wrapped around his waist. There weren't any scars on the back of Sasuke's hand, but there was one that curved along the webbing of his thumb. Naruto's face twisted into a dangerous scowl. "Sasuke," he said sharply. "You better not be a cutter. I know you got the whole pale skin black clothes emo look going, but cutting is dangerous! And it's stupid, too!"

Sasuke's eye twitched. He recognized that tone of voice. It was the one Iruka had used when he had ordered them outside after getting mud on his floor. He sent a scathing look at Naruto, "I don't cut myself intentionally. I have no healing talents. I can't copy talents like that. Why would I hurt myself if I can't heal it?"

"Don't ask me," Naruto sighed, smiling in relief. He waved his left hand, "I saw a show about it and they interviewed a lot of cutters. Emo kids. They wear these wristbands - or stuff like those arm cuffs you had, only they wear them all the time to hide the scars. I don't think any of them cut the back of their hands, though. That's a really obvious place and, you know, that sort of thing will get you sent to a mental hospital real fast."

"I've never heard of that," said Sasuke. Kakashi had teased him about being a masochist, but it wasn't true. He ignored pain during a fight, he didn't enjoy it.

"I thought everyone knew about it," Naruto frowned. "Where have you been living? Iruka-sensei said you guys were traveling a lot. Didn't you have television in the hotels?"

Sasuke's face darkened. "I never watched television." Pay per view porn. That was the only thing Kakashi had ever turned on when they had stayed in a hotel with a television. He had come to prefer the poor hotels without tv sets in the rooms. There was nothing worse than having to sleep in the bathroom to escape the moans. At least the written porn was silent.

"That sucks," Naruto grimaced. "I can't imagine going without television. What did you do in your free time, read?" He went for walks when Iruka ran him away from the tv set. Sasuke seemed more the indoor, sit in a corner with a nice book, type.

"No."

Naruto waited for a few minutes before he realized Sasuke wasn't going to say anything else. He frowned, staring at Sasuke's profile, trying to think of something to talk about before the sudden silence got too heavy. Sasuke's eyes were still red. That reminded him of how angry Kyuubi had been earlier, because his eyes were black. Red meant he was using his talents and he hadn't been using them when he had met Kyuubi's pounce. Naruto blinked. "Hey, why didn't you use your talents when Kyuubi jumped you, earlier?"

"I wasn't there to fight, and I would have reacted the same way if you had interfered with my fight," Sasuke admitted. "I didn't intend to interfere. Kakashi went too far. You surprised him and he reacted on instinct." His eyes narrowed. He knew that wouldn't happen again, but it shouldn't have happened in the first place. "He would have killed you. He might have survived it, but you wouldn't have, not with your energy as low as it was. You wouldn't have been able to heal yourself from an injury that serious."

"Oh," Naruto murmured. He wondered if that would make a difference to Kyuubi. He had never seen Kyuubi so angry before. "You should be more careful."

Sasuke arched an eyebrow, "Me?"

"Yeah, you," Naruto scowled. "He shouldn't have jumped you, not since you were helping, but you shouldn't have taunted him like that. It's not fair."

"Fair."

Naruto nodded stubbornly. "Right. Because he can't get back at you. He's really set on beating you up. I'm not gonna let him fight without me, but riling him up just makes it harder for me to hold him back. And it's not fair, like poking a stick at a caged animal. If he gets out, it'll be my fault, yeah, but if he's trying to get out so much because you taunted him, then it'll be your fault, too." He frowned at Sasuke's profile. It didn't even look like he was listening. "I want you guys to get along."

Sasuke looked over, his eyes glinting with amusement. "That isn't going to happen."

"Why not?" Naruto scowled in frustration. "You can at least try. He's not that bad once you get to know him." That eyebrow arched again, and Naruto had to look away. "Okay," he muttered, "he's pretty bad. But that doesn't mean you have to make it worse by poking a stick at him when he can't bite back."

Naruto sighed. He just knew Sasuke's parting taunt was going to keep Kyuubi riled. He wished he hadn't said that. But he couldn't really blame Sasuke for it, not with Kyuubi's 'make you scream' threat having egged him on. And he knew Kyuubi had meant that. He didn't know what to do. He wasn't used to playing the role of pacifist. Usually it was Iruka keeping him and Kyuubi from venting on whoever had riled them up. Maybe if he could keep Kyuubi distracted until Iruka came home, it would be okay. He was half afraid he might go to sleep and wake up to find out Kyuubi had snuck out and done something horrible to Sasuke. He couldn't control the fox all the time. Not any more. And a persistent thought kept bouncing into the front of his head when he imagined an angry Kyuubi fighting Sasuke. The last time he and Kyuubi had seriously disagreed about something, he had ended up with Iruka's blood on his face. If Kyuubi did anything, it would be with his body. So he wouldn't just have guilt on his conscience for not preventing it, he would have blood on his hands, too.

"Don't worry so much," Sasuke muttered.

Naruto shook his head. The problem was that Sasuke didn't worry enough.

.-.

It was pitch black when Iruka felt his cot move, dipping near his hip as if someone had placed a hand there and leaned slowly. He had always been a light sleeper before he started drugging himself to zombie levels. The old habit had enabled him to wake up to his quiet alarm clock despite his doped up state. Now, drug free for two days running, he was wide awake in seconds. His eyes snapped open to black, silence, and after a tense moment, the faintly humid sound of people breathing in the nearby cots. If someone was standing by his bed, he couldn't see them. There were a few windows in the building, two in the main office out front, and two more in the old break room upstairs that had a rickety staircase to the back lot. None of the light reached where he was. He knew that. And still his first thought was that he hadn't woken up at all, that he had drifted off despite Bunchu knocking him out for the night, and was currently in some nowhere state between dreaming and sleepwalking into other people's dreams.

He felt himself panic. Completely irrational. He was in a room crowded with nearly a dozen other people. But he couldn't see them. His throat narrowed until his sharp breaths should have whistled audibly. But he couldn't hear anything. He scrambled backwards on the bed until the wall stopped him and he was flattened against it. But he couldn't feel it. He was in an empty black void and in a moment he wouldn't remember where he was, where he was going, or where he had come from.

He felt the mattress dip again, and his breath caught in a sharp little whine. That snapped him out of the blank panic he had slipped into. Sensations returned, the breathing nearby, his own whistling breaths seemed especially loud, and touch, there was something sharp and awkward on the wall behind him and he had pressed hard enough against it to leave a painful dent right between his shoulder blades. His blanket had also been knocked aside so his bare feet felt what had been causing the mattress to dip. Not a hand, but a furry small something that scrambled closer when he jerked his legs away.

"Shh, easy, there, I'm not gonna bite you..."

Iruka's temper flared as his now vividly awake mind registered both the voice and the fur and came back with a single conclusion. Talking dog. Soon to be battered whimpering dog. He curled his legs to the side and leaned down where he thought the dog was sitting. "What the hell are you doing?" he hissed. Anger tended to tighten his throat nearly as much as panic, resulting in a viciously sharp voice when he wasn't booming fit to rattle windows.

"Waking you up," Pakkun whispered, in a friendly unconcerned tone. "Up you go. Quiet, now," and he scrambled to the floor. "Come on. I'll tug your pants leg to tell you where to go. Just walk slow."

A dozen questions sprang to mind as Iruka scooted to the edge of the cot. What was to stop him from kicking the dog? He wouldn't have the pleasure of watching how far it flew before smacking the floor, and he would miss out on counting the subsequent bounces. He might hurt his toes if his kick landed on the tailbone or the skull rather than that sunken midsection, but he could deal with pain for such a good cause. How was Pakkun seeing any more than him? As far as he knew, dogs couldn't see in the dark any better than humans. He wasn't a cat, after all. Why the hell hadn't Bunchu come to wake him? Bunchu had to be the reason he had been woken in the middle of the night. No one else would dare go against his 'complete bedrest till those hands are healed' orders. Why the secrecy? He would have gone quietly simply out of respect for the children still sleeping. A flashlight or candle wouldn't have woken them up, and anyone who was already awake wouldn't think much of him getting up to talk with Bunchu, no matter what the hour. Why hadn't Akamaru reacted to Pakkun sneaking by and climbing into his bed? Kiba had bunked down in the cot next to his, so the dog should have noticed another dog coming so close.

Being led by a tiny dog he couldn't see was awkward. He took a few steps and then fur brushed his bare feet as Pakkun scooted over to tug him into a turn. Then a couple more steps and another furry brushing tug. Despite the apparent attempt at secrecy, Pakkun was making quite a bit of noise, in Iruka's opinion. He could hear every brush of the dog's padded feet, and even the occasional click and scritch of his claws as he darted over for a tug. By the time they reached the back door that led into the wide warehouse, which Iruka had been told by a grimacing Tenka was an unloading dock and too stinky and greasy for people, Iruka was tapping his fingers on his hips. He might have been absolutely blind, but he knew his way around well enough to have found the door himself if Pakkun had just told him where they were going. There had better be a very good reason for this. He didn't appreciate being frightened and frustrated the moment he woke.

Iruka walked through the door, took two more steps, and heard it close quietly behind him. He turned into a red tinted flashlight beam. Red because the light was shining dimly through the cracks of someone's fingers. Iruka stepped closer and made out a grinning Kiba. A downward glance answered his last question. Akamaru hadn't reacted because he hadn't been in the cot next to him. Iruka's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"What's going on?" he asked. He was immediately hushed by Kiba and Pakkun, and given a quietly reproachful chuff from Akamaru. So they were all in on it. He would remember that later.

"Come on," Kiba whispered. He took Iruka's arm and led him through the smelly maze of old boxes and tarped lumps that were probably loaders and such. He used the muted flashlight beam until they were separated from the door by a few rows of junk. Then he uncovered it and sent more than just the shadows skittering away.

Iruka grimaced. He was barefoot! If one of those things crawled over his bare feet he was going to shriek and the canine conspirators would have a heck of a time sneaking after that. His toes curled, his heels inched off the ground, and he minced his way along as quickly as possible without stepping on something sharp or squishy. One piggy dogsized rat lurched close to his right foot and his breath hitched, but Pakkun snapped a look at it and the thing waddled off in the opposite direction. Iruka held that breath till Kiba prodded him through a doorway into a well lit room. When he let the breath out, it was a frustrated sigh.

There was a table in the room, dusty but rat free. And people. Familiar people. People who would no longer be on his list of friends if explanations were not given very quickly. Ino, Sakura, Tenka, who was going to get a pop in the mouth if he didn't wipe that grin off his face, and the boy who had picked him up at his house. He still hadn't gotten the boy's name since he had been sleeping every time Iruka checked in on him. Kiba closed the door and waved him at one of the chairs. Iruka took it as calmly as possible. He would not yell unless their explanation left him unsatisfied.

"What's going on?" asked Iruka.

"Told you he'd be pissed," Tenka smirked at Pakkun, who had hopped from a chair to the table. "Did you lick him?"

"Of course not," Pakkun sniffed. He sent a quick look at Iruka and maintained his indignant doggy expression, as if he'd had no intention of licking him awake if he didn't get up right away.

Iruka was not amused. "Ten-chan," he said sweetly, baring his teeth in a bright smile.

Tenka shuddered and grimaced, "Ugh, don't make that face. It's creepy as hell."

"Explain," Iruka said, his smile widening. "Now."

"Sure," Tenka winced. "Look, it's like this. Bunchu had to take off to pick that kid up at the hospital. You heard about Pakkun's friend helping us get out, right? Fay?"

"Yes," Iruka nodded. He had heard about him. He hadn't seen him because the man hadn't come back since he had arrived. "What about him?"

"Turns out his partner has a talent for picking up psychos or something, and we got a big one in our midst. They had to take off before the nut caught a glimpse of Fay, some history there, figured he would recognize him on sight or something. Bunchu's been keeping an eye on the nut, but like I said, he had to get that kid out of the hospital. He's getting released and Bunchu's the only one who can sneak him out now that Fay's gone. That leaves me, and you know, while I fancy myself pretty strong, I'd rather not mess with this one. Kiba tells me he was eyeballing you earlier."

"The twin," Kiba nodded, favoring Iruka with a pointed look.

Iruka straightened in his chair. "He hasn't done anything. So what if he looked at me? A lot of kids looked at me today, that doesn't-"

"He asked about you, too," came a vague mutter.

Iruka glanced over at the boy leaning against the wall to the side of Ino. He was one of the few kids who was still sporting bandages. Bunchu had warned him off healing him, saying his talent was spotty when it came to foreign energy, even the healing type. The boy was currently rubbing an eye with his fist, so he missed Iruka's look. "I haven't gotten your name yet."

"Shikamaru," the boy said around his hand.

"Yeah," said Tenka, with a frown at Iruka. "Lucky for you, the nut asked Shika. Anyone else could have at least given him your name. From what Bunchu told me about those twins' talents, they could have forced it out even if someone didn't want to give it."

Iruka's stomach churned at the thought. He had serious issues with people who invaded other people's privacy. A talent that allowed one to invade someone's body at the cellular level was even worse. He sent a worried look at Shikamaru. "Did he do anything to you? Either of them?" he added, because while the older twin had been quieter, his talent was the deadlier of the two.

"No," Shikamaru muttered. He looked at Iruka for a moment and then went back to rubbing his eyes.

"That's another reason we got lucky," said Tenka. He shot a impressed grin at Shikamaru, a grin that went unseen thanks to the eye rubbing. "He uses shadows, so no one can touch him in a dark room. They had a little confrontation and the nut took off, or nuts, if you count them separately."

"They left?" asked Iruka. He sent a slow look over the teens in the room, pausing on Sakura, who looked half asleep. She had been healing people all day. She shouldn't have been woken up for this, no matter how paranoid Tenka was. "If they're gone, why did you want me in here? What's the big deal?"

"Let me finish," Tenka sniffed. "They left, yeah. As far as we know, they left. Shika saw them leave."

Shikamaru dropped his fist long enough to frown at Tenka, "Don't call me that." Then he went back to rubbing.

Tenka flashed him a grin. "Shika saw them leave," he repeated. "Walked right out the door. Only no one was watching the door to see if they came back in. And with their talents, the older one could be inside any of those kids out there and we'd never know it till Bunchu got back. See the freakout? We might have our own little invasion of the body snatchers going on here, and the only person we know is being targeted is you. So here you are, in a bright room with all the trusted allies to keep you safe."

"The girls and Tenka were with Bunchu all day," Kiba put in. "And I was with you. I'm not sure about him," and he sent a suspicious look at Shikamaru, who was still rubbing away and yawning occasionally. "But Akamaru says he smells normal enough. I figure if those freaks mix physically, actual bodies and all, he'd smell it."

"Okay," Iruka said slowly. He sighed and sent a tired look over the kids. "So we're going to stay together until Bunchu gets back?"

"That's the first bit of the plan," said Tenka. He was grinning again. "Second step is, we wake Shika up enough to do his stuff, and he starts popping you guys over to your place. You were planning to take them with you, anyway. This will save you a couple plane tickets."

Iruka tensed and shot a very studious look at Shikamaru. The boy was leaning against the wall as if his feet wouldn't hold him up, he was yawning consecutively, his eyes were watery and red when he wasn't rubbing away at them, and despite the fresh bandages, there was a blooming pink spot on his temple. The boy had used so much energy fetching him that he had been sleeping for days, he hadn't been healed because none of them, not even Sakura, could transfer energy without hurting him, and now they were supposed to use whatever energy he had recovered to save money on plane tickets? All for a threat that was more paranoid delusion than substantiated fact? Iruka's eyes narrowed in a reproachful glare at Tenka's enthusiasm. "Forget it."

"You worry wart," Tenka scoffed. He sighed and waved a hand. "It's not up for debate, anyway. It was Bunchu's idea."

"No."

"And it's not like Shika's against it," Tenka went on. "He needs a place to crash till he can skip the bandages, kinda eye-catching, you know, and you've got a nice big house just ready to be filled with homeless kids. Just give him a dark corner to nap in and call it even. Shika's not picky."

Iruka's mouth shot open, and Tenka's right arm crooked and jerked down so his elbow rattled the table. Sakura flinched back in her chair, blinking wide-eyed for the first time since Iruka had come in. Tenka let out a choked yipe and launched into a series of silent grimaces. Iruka's eyes widened in surprise.

"I told you to stop calling me that," Shikamaru muttered. He blinked blearily for a moment before wiping his eyes.

Tenka also wiped at his eyes. Then he clutched his abused elbow and snapped around with a dirty glare for the boy. "That was low," he grumbled. "See if I argue your case again, ungrateful runt. I thought you couldn't do shit in a bright lit room, anyway." He caught Iruka's confused look and shrugged. "Shadows," he muttered. "That's how he kept the twins off him, he caught them in his shadows so they couldn't move for a while. It's real dark out there, you know. Anyway, Shika-" and he clutched his elbow and added a quick, "-maru agreed with Bunchu's plan. It's not like you'd turn away a kid, and we'll rest a lot easier with the ones left if we don't have to worry about one of them trying to do something to you the second our backs are turned."

"You still haven't explained why the twins were interested in me," said Iruka. He wasn't agreeing with the plan. He fully intended to talk Bunchu out of it when he arrived. But he was clearly going to be kept here till then, so he might as well get some answers while he waited. "I didn't have very much contact with them."

"He said you looked familiar," Shikamaru muttered around his hand. "The one with the real body, not the head sticking out of his back." He was oblivious to the weird looks he got for that statement. "He wanted to know your name and where I picked you up at." He yawned for nearly twenty seconds and then muttered, "He offered to make it worth my time if I dropped them off at your place."

"See?" Tenka nodded, flicking a thumb at Shikamaru. "Pretty creepy, right? Not paranoid delusion or whatever you're wanting to pass it off as. Just think, if Shikamaru had been a freak, too, you'd have had a nasty surprise waiting when you got back home. I doubt that kid of yours could have fended them off."

"Sasuke could," said Pakkun. "Kakashi, too, if he didn't try copying them first."

"Maybe," Tenka frowned, with a look that said he and the dog had already argued this point at length. "Anyway," he frowned at Iruka, "it would have been bad. Safest thing to do is get you out of here before you give any of the possible pod-people out there enough info to track you home. All we have to do is hold the fort till Bunchu gets back."

Iruka gave a numb nod. He was frozen on the idea of those twins going anywhere near Naruto. If the dogs could smell something strange about them, Kyuubi would, too. And knowing Kyuubi, he would incite Naruto to confront them. He refused to consider the possible results of that encounter. It hadn't happened. It wouldn't happen. He shivered and shoved the thoughts out of his mind. It hadn't happened and it wasn't going to, so there was no point worrying over it. He straightened and sent a sweeping look over the kids. Sakura had her head down and appeared to be dozing. He again wished she had been able to get the sleep she deserved, but he wasn't about to suggest she retire to a cot. Not now. Kiba was squatting near the door, petting Akamaru's ear and looking at the dog in an endearing way that meant they were talking to each other. Ino was frowning grouchily in the seat next to Sakura, picking at her fingernails and shooting distasteful looks at Shikamaru. Iruka wondered about that until he glanced over and spotted Shikamaru cleaning an ear out with his pinky while giving another uncovered open-mouthed yawn. Boys.

"Would you like to sit down?" Iruka asked the boy. "You can have my seat."

"No, thanks," Shikamaru muttered. He slumped bonelessly down the wall, his head tilted back in an uncomfortable looking position until he was half sprawled on the floor. He yawned noisily and muttered, "I'm good." Then, from all appearances, he went to sleep.

Ino sniffed in disgust, muttering something under her breath. Iruka smiled weakly and did his best not to stare.

"We got coffee," Tenka offered. He waved dismissively when Iruka shot him a look, "You don't have to whisper. He sleeps like the dead. How do you think he managed to stay out the last few days? Only time I saw him awake was when he picked you up."

Iruka considered reminding Tenka that it was a matter of politeness, not necessity. He settled for coffee, instead. Arguing etiquette with Tenka was pointless, and if he was going home ahead of schedule, he would have to get used to relying on caffeine again.

.-.

Kakashi was startled to find Sasuke waiting for him when he finally dragged himself back to the house. He hid his surprise, and the accompanying dose of wariness, as well as he could. Sasuke was blank-faced and rigid. Rigid was normal for Sasuke, but the blank face made those little hairs on the back of his neck stand up. It was never good when Sasuke started resembling the mannequin. Kakashi held his tongue and gave a slight nod before passing him in the hall. He continued upstairs to his room, highly aware that he was being followed by an expressionless Sasuke. He resisted the urge to look over his shoulder. He already knew Sasuke's eyes were red, and that they were drilling into the back of his head. He could feel it. Those poor hairs on his neck were jiggling to keep from being singed by that stare. He would never give Sasuke the satisfaction of showing how creepy it was to be followed by him when he was like this.

It wasn't until he reached his room, and Sasuke moved into the open doorway before he could close it behind him, that he relented. He turned and gave his most bored expression, complete with raised eyebrow. "Did you want something?"

"Yes," said Sasuke.

Kakashi fought back a wince. Sasuke's voice was as blank as his face. Either he was absolutely furious, or he was hiding something much worse. He let his eye roam over that perfectly empty face. And his nose twitched. He immediately shifted from pretending to be calm and feeling wary, to pretending to be exasperated and feeling angry. "I told you it needed stitches," he sighed, as if he didn't particularly care. "Come in," and his eye narrowed when Sasuke didn't hesitate or look at him. It had to be bad if Sasuke was willing to swallow his pride. Asking him for help? That was a whole lot of bitter pride to gulp down. He had wiped the frown away by the time he shut the door after him. He pointed at the chair, "Sit." And he blocked another frown when Sasuke did as he was told. Seeing him complacent was disturbing.

"Are you going to make a fuss about stripping in front of me?" Kakashi taunted. He was rewarded by a tight twitch on the left side of Sasuke's face. His satisfaction was immediately marred when Sasuke jerked his head away and removed his shirt without a word. Not just disturbing. This was wrong. Kakashi sighed and let go of any pretense. The bandage on Sasuke's side was dark. He was obviously reinforcing it so the blood didn't seep into his clothing, but it was a close thing. Kakashi crouched and picked at it, "Did you change the bandages when you got back to the house?"

"Yes," Sasuke said quietly. His blank face couldn't hide the humiliation in his voice. "It won't stop."

"So you've been reinforcing it the entire time?" Kakashi asked, even though he knew the answer. He received a sharp nod. "Stop." Sasuke's eyes faded to black. He turned to the desk, not surprised to find the kit open and ready for use. If he had known Sasuke was waiting for him, he would have come back sooner. Of course, it was just like him to wait instead of coming out to get him. Hard enough for him to ask for help at all. "You know," Kakashi said, as he set about removing the bandages, "Naruto could probably heal this. I've already mentioned it to him. Seeing what happened with the scratches unintentionally, with more focus-"

"No."

Kakashi's lips twitched. That had gotten a reaction. A glance found vicious black eyes glaring down at him. Stubborn, angry, promising a slow painful death if he persisted. There was his brat. "Why not?" he prodded. "He already has to take care of that arm, since he broke it. The wound wouldn't have ripped so badly if he hadn't jumped you for saving his life, weighing a few tons and you not even using your talents. You're messing around with him, anyway, so you'll have to get used to him touching a lot more than your side before long."

Sasuke tensed more with each word, his lips curling back to bare his teeth. "Sew it up or I'll cauterize it myself. Don't screw with me. I could kill you without trying."

"Now, now," Kakashi winced, playfully, because he was glad to have gotten such a vehement reaction. There was no sign of that blank-faced humiliated quiet pseudo-Sasuke now. "I hate the smell of singed flesh. And you don't want to get into the habit of sealing cuts up like that. It would make one nasty scar." He moved over to fetch the needle and added, "Besides, I still have enough energy to put you on the floor until you bleed to death. No point killing me if you go too, remember?"

"Hn." Sasuke glowered at him for a long moment before dropping his eyes. He reached into his pocket and tossed his spool at Kakashi's head. "Use that."

Kakashi caught it reflexively, glowering right back at the ungrateful brat. He settled on the floor again and gave an exasperated sniff at the thread. "You've been reusing this stuff for years. I'll have to dip it in peroxide or you can count on an infection."

"So do it," said Sasuke.

"Brat," Kakashi sniffed. He set to work, using the cap of the bottle as his 'soaking' pool for what thread he thought he would need. In the meantime he set to needling his cat in the nicest way possible. "You do realize that even using this thread, you won't be able to reinforce it the way you do as a defense. Right? It'll still tear if someone hits you when you don't have the sharingan activated. Healing the actual wound is the only way to avoid that."

"I said no."

"I don't get it," Kakashi murmured, threading the needle with a quiet hum. "You hate having me patch you up. Normally you'd sooner bleed to death than ask for my help. And you obviously like him, or you wouldn't be letting him stick body parts in your mouth." A grating choking sound answered that. Kakashi's lips twitched. "Despite that, you'd rather have me patch you up than let him try to heal you. It doesn't make sense. I'm sure there's an explanation that makes sense in your twisted mind, but, for the life of me, I can't figure out what it is."

"It wasn't my fight," Sasuke said tightly. He flinched when Kakashi started sewing the wound, his sharingan activating to block the worst of the pain. "I interfered. It was my decision. This wouldn't have happened if I hadn't."

"He would be dead if you hadn't," Kakashi reminded him. He decided not to mention that he might have ended up just as dead. Sasuke wasn't up to the whole 'you saved my life, you're so cute...!' teasing right now. He would save that for later. "He should be thanking you."

Sasuke's lip curled in disgust, "I wouldn't thank him. If he had interfered with my fight, I'd have killed him."

"Ah," Kakashi nodded, "I see. So you figure if you take your punches now, he's less likely to interfere if he catches you fighting later. I suppose that does make sense in that twisted head of yours. But, you know," and he beamed at the tense brat, "I get the feeling Naruto's the overprotective type. You're going to have a hard time when he finds out you have psychopaths attacking you at random. You may have to put him in the bubble when your visitors start showing up. I don't think he'll like that."

Sasuke looked away, his eyes glinting. Kakashi smirked. Sasuke had already thought of that. He should have known. Sasuke did like to plan ahead. And so long as Naruto had no way of popping the bubble, he would be protected and restrained from interfering at the same time. Convenient.

"The fox isn't going to appreciate that," Kakashi commented. A shitty little Sasuke smirk flashed over the brat's face. He shook his head at that expression of dark amusement.

"I know," Sasuke drawled.

Something about the way he said it brought those hairs on Kakashi's neck to standing again. He had never really noticed how seductive Sasuke's voice was when he was making sly promises of unholy violence. It was very disturbing. Kakashi blinked worriedly and focused on the wound he was sewing up. He would engage the brat in conversation later. He was obviously suffering from exhaustion. This was Sasuke he was thinking about. The kid. The brat. His little skittish violence-prone asexual cat. Any connection with Sasuke and seductive was inherently wrong. He fought back a shiver. He was definitely imagining things. It was that joke he had made earlier about threatening foreplay. He had been kidding when he had said it. He shouldn't be taking his own jokes so seriously.

"All in my head," Kakashi muttered to himself.

"What?" Sasuke snapped, with a confused frown.

"Nothing," Kakashi said quickly. "I'm getting old, is all," he sighed. "Everything will be fine after a little nap. Yeah, just fine. It's all in my head..."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. He watched more closely as Kakashi finished his work. As soon as he was done, he nodded, dressed, and went to the door. He didn't bother with gratitude, but he did give Kakashi the same advice he had given Naruto, earlier. "Sleep it off."

"Good idea," Kakashi sighed, more to himself than to Sasuke. "Definitely need a nap. Dreaming of nice healthy adult porn. Yeah, that's just the thing. Mm..."

.-.

Sasuke went to his room to follow his own advice as soon as he finished with Kakashi. He had made it back to the house earlier, before he had realized how badly his side was torn. He had postponed it as long as possible, hoping the bleeding would stop on its own. Finally he had been forced to act. His choices were fairly limited. He could use his left arm and his knife to cauterize the cut. That would stop the bleeding, make him sick to his stomach, and leave a very nasty scar. He could use the sharingan to block the pain and sew it up himself with his right arm. His arm was starting to worry him and he didn't fancy jarring it again today. He had an idea the simple closed fracture was teetering on becoming a compound one too nasty to leave unchecked. He would have to go to a hospital if he complicated that. The alternative was to get Kakashi and let him do what he had offered to do. Patch him up. Humiliating, but he would remember it later and that memory would keep him from making the same mistake again.

That was how he had stumbled onto Naruto. Between interfering with Naruto's fight and realizing his wound was torn to hell, he had completely forgotten about Naruto having been so low on energy. He had felt sickeningly guilty when he had spotted the boy sitting there in the fields. Any thought of passing him by and going on to fetch Kakashi was pushed aside. One glance was enough to tell him Naruto's energy was dangerously low. Having Naruto help him in the bathroom had been embarrassing, but looking back it was preferable to passing out and possibly bleeding to death on the floor. The least he could do was return the favor. Naruto didn't make a fuss about it, and he didn't really mind postponing his humiliation a while longer. He had known asking Kakashi for help would hurt. He wouldn't forget that lesson for a long time. No getting himself into a corner where he couldn't take care of himself.

So he collapsed the second he hit his bed, frowning resentfully at his inability to curl more comfortably on his side and burrow under the covers. Then he fell asleep. And he dreamed that he hadn't reached Kakashi and Naruto in time to interfere with their fight. He reached them afterward and stood on the hill looking down at them. He could vividly see the way Kakashi's neck was spurting, having slit a number of throats in his own time. Kakashi was holding the injury with one hand, and pressing Naruto's gaping wound with the other. He was doing something, a talent Sasuke didn't recognize. And it wasn't working. The chidori had burrowed deep into Naruto's side, obliterating organs and biting into his spine. If he wasn't dead already, he was certainly paralyzed for life. Sasuke watched the scene, feeling oddly detached as he noted the way their energies merged where their blood was pooling together, a strange swirl of silver and red. He hadn't thought they would have had that much energy left after those final attacks. If they hadn't been dying, he would have made a note not to underestimate them in the future.

He woke up to the sound of his bedroom door opening. That feeling of detachment remained strong as he turned to watch Naruto enter the room. He would be disturbed by the dream later. Maybe. Assuming he was awake now. If he was still sleeping, he would likely forget that dream by the time he slipped into a third dream, and it would be long gone when he finally woke up. Naruto crossed to his desk, pulled the chair back, and crouched on it. Like he had on the roof. Animalistic and oddly comfortable looking in such an awkward pose. Sasuke looked him over. The rest had done him good, assuming this wasn't a dream. The way Naruto had hung on him during the walk back to the house, he had estimated every muscle in his body had been hurting. Now he looked as limber and bright-eyed as ever. Bright red eyes, Sasuke noted. So it was the fox instead of Naruto?

"What do you want?" Sasuke asked quietly. If he was awake, he might as well speed this along so he could go back to sleep. If he was dreaming, he was curious why his subconscious had picked Naruto's fox to entertain him with.

"You."

The voice was deep, so he supposed that meant it was the fox, after all. He sighed and turned his eyes to the ceiling. "I'm not interested in you that way," he said honestly. Naruto was different, there was some sort of attraction there, likely because Naruto was so unthreatening he felt safe even when he was doing things that made him uncomfortable. The fox, though... "You're a horrible kisser."

A bristling growl answered that. Sasuke snorted softly. "You are," he muttered. "Even that werewolf kissed better than you, and I was asleep when he tried to stick his tongue down my throat." The memory of that incident brought a faint grimace to his face, dispelling some of that airy detachment. He had woken up to the sensation of something slimy choking him. It was a wonder he had enjoyed kissing Naruto so much. Really, he didn't understand why it was so different with him.

"There are better things to do than kiss."

Sasuke flicked a look to the side, frowning when he saw Naruto, or rather the fox, standing so close to his bed. "Don't touch me," he muttered. "I'm recuperating. I don't want to fight." He couldn't risk complicating his injuries any more than they already were, even if it was just in his dreams. Only now that the detachment was weakening, he was starting to think this might be real. His eyes narrowed slowly. "I'm serious."

"Ah," and the fox was crouching beside his bed, claws pressing lightly on the edge of the mattress, those red eyes even with his own. "You smell of blood." A sniff, and a quiet growl, "And the pervert."

"You have a lot of nerve calling him that," Sasuke said, raising an eyebrow. He was faintly surprised when a snicker and a grin answered him.

"True. He's an amateur compared to me."

"Right," Sasuke frowned tiredly. He wanted to look away, but that wakening part of him was fairly convinced this was no dream and wouldn't let him break eye contact. "I'm not interested in you. Get out of my room."

"Why should I?" came the taunting response.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, "Because Naruto doesn't want me poking a stick at you." He sneered faintly. "He seems to think it's unfair of me to counter your threats with taunts."

"That's because he thinks they're empty threats," Kyuubi drawled, in equal amusement. "He's young."

"And you're not?" asked Sasuke.

The fox grinned, "I'm not."

Sasuke snorted. "I'm still not interested in you."

"You will be," the fox murmured. He took a deep breath through his nose, as if breathing him in. Then he rocked back on his heels, "You're interested in Naruto. Would you like me to wake him?"

"I'm tired," Sasuked muttered. He wanted to say, 'I think I'm dreaming,' but if this were real that would be admitting a weakness. He couldn't do that.

"He won't let you wear yourself out," Kyuubi grinned. "He worries too much."

Sasuke wondered how the fox had heard that. Kyuubi had been sleeping when he had said that to Naruto in the field, earlier. Then that whiskered face was looming over him, too close, too fast, and his eyes widened. He was awake. He should have cauterized the wound earlier, no matter how much he hated doing it. Using the sharingan for so long must have worn him out more than he realized and that was why he had woken so groggily. Even now, the sharingan spun once and then died when he tried to activate it. His left arm rose on command, but sluggishly, with no power behind it. That mouth closed on his own and he tensed, waiting for the fox's pathetic excuse for a kiss.

What came was tentative and soft, immediately sending a warm flush over him. Sasuke blinked and hesitated, his left arm curling lightly around Naruto's neck, his knife limp in his hand. Those eyes had been red. That was the fox, right? But the kiss was Naruto. He pulled back, and glinting eyes fluttered open, not red or blue, but purple, some rose madder shade in between. He frowned and started, "Naruto? What-"

"Sasuke," Naruto murmured, in a husky voice that was still much lighter than the fox's rusty growl.

Naruto kissed him again, and Sasuke squirmed. He was definitely awake now. So he should stop this. He knew he should. A part of him didn't want to. He enjoyed the way Naruto kissed him. He had already admitted that to himself. It was uncomfortable having him lean over him in his own bed, but they were just kissing. This was simply a continuation of what the fox had so rudely interrupted on the roof, earlier. His hand tightened on his knife, a reminder of responsibilities and doubts and all the reasons he had decided getting involved with Naruto was a mistake. A certain skittish girl with a possible crush immediately popped into mind. Then Naruto hummed into his mouth and he closed his eyes, dropping his arm, and tucking the knife back under his pillow. He would deal with that issue later.

Naruto seemed to take his lowered arm as an invitation to shift the kisses to his neck. Sasuke tensed at the first nuzzling brush. Again, his immediate response was an irritated one. This wasn't part of the deal. Putting his teeth right over a main artery? He might as well have gone the fox's route and dug claws into his wounded side. He gnashed his teeth and let out a warning, "Naruto."

"I'm not gonna bite," Naruto murmured, seconds before belying his words with a soft nip. "It's foreplay," and he nipped again, his tongue flicking out to soothe the spot, "...doesn't hurt..."

Sasuke flinched at each feel of those teeth, his left hand curling tight in Naruto's hair. He could pull him free at any time. His stomach was clenching fitfully, alternating between uncomfortable and aroused. He kept thinking about Kakashi's word for it, necking, and the idea that this was normal, after all. It didn't feel normal. It felt threatening and disturbing. And had Naruto sounded like this on the roof? He sounded so confident it made him want to wait and see. He winced at another nip of those dangerously sharp teeth. Then Naruto moved to lap at the hollow of his throat. Sasuke's eyes snapped open and he choked.

That was worth the wait. He took a shaky breath and held it, and Naruto pressed his tongue into the spot again. He shivered in reaction. No teeth, no threat, and it felt really good. A grimace of embarrassment twisted his face when Naruto let out a breathy laugh at his expense.

"Sensitive," Naruto murmured in apparent approval.

Sasuke huffed at the teasing tone. "Idiot," he muttered, reflexively because Naruto was sucking on that spot, toying till it burned, and his shifted restlessly on the bed. He didn't want him to stop, but he didn't want to be still, either. His hand slid over Naruto's back, fingers kneading through his shirt. A quiet growl sounded at that, and he found himself shivering again as the hot breath hit his damp skin. He closed his eyes tight and tilted his head back, feeling horribly exposed and gratified when Naruto reacted by doubling his efforts. This was foreplay, he thought feverishly. If this was just the preliminary, he couldn't imagine what actually-

He didn't finish the thought. Warm hands slipped under his shirt and he welcomed the distraction. He wasn't ready to follow that thought to its natural conclusion. His muscles flinched as Naruto's hands ghosted over the bandages, frown lines breaking on his brow. Naruto lifted his head, those steamy eyes making him want to look away or squirm or distract him. He opened his mouth instead, leaning up to kiss him. He lapped at Naruto's tongue, coaxing it into his mouth and guiding him down until his head was pressing the pillow again. Naruto squirmed in response. One of those hands pushed up until his thumb was rubbing roughly over the hollow of his neck, irritating the damp skin in a way that made Sasuke want to arch into the touch, make it rougher still. He suddenly wished he hadn't fussed over Naruto's 'nipping' so much. He didn't think he would mind to feel teeth right there.

Naruto's other hand was tickling his collarbone, shying away from his broken arm, palm rubbing over his chest. Fingernails that were a tad too sharp flicked his nipple, and Sasuke choked and froze. Naruto had rocked his hips forward at the same moment and the sudden shock was too intimate, too immediate. He could feel him through the blanket and their clothes and his first instinct was to push away. He might have if Naruto hadn't taken over the kiss. Sweet and warm, arousing and reassuring, and if Naruto wasn't overreacting he shouldn't, either. He tilted his head into the kiss, his hand sliding into the back of Naruto's shirt to feel the warm skin. Naruto's fingers were rolling his nipple now, subtle, tingling and warm, and not so much as a ghost of those sharp nails. Their hips were flush against each other, but neither of them was moving now and that was fine. They were supposed to be aroused, knowing Naruto was, too, made it nicer.

A heady shiver tugged through him, and Sasuke almost laughed into Naruto's mouth. He had forgotten to breathe again. He pulled him back, taking a few deep shaky breaths through his mouth. Naruto watched him with heated eyes as if he were doing something besides catching his breath. He turned his head, avoiding another kiss, and pulled Naruto down so he could nuzzle his neck instead. He was curious if Naruto had a spot like he did. He nipped lightly, playfully, and was startled by the strangled gasp Naruto made against his own neck. He promptly did it again, soothing the spot with his tongue just like Naruto had. Then he flinched when Naruto's teeth latched onto a small pinch of his skin, right at the junction of his neck and shoulder. He was just holding it, not breaking skin, but the feel of those too sharp teeth sent a thousand alarms ringing in Sasuke's ears. He leaned back carefully, his hand curving to Naruto's shoulder.

"Don't," Sasuke said quietly. Those teeth eased up, enough for him to breathe again, not enough for him to relax. Naruto lifted his head, lips trailing his cheek before sliding free. He was slightly reassured that Naruto's eyes were more blue than red, but the mood was wrong. He was on edge now and he didn't think any amount of tentative kissing would make it better. He sighed and looked away. "That's enough."

"What?" Naruto murmured, blinking in hazy surprise. He pouted and kissed the edge of Sasuke's mouth. "Don't say that," he teased softly, "you're not supposed to say that."

Those hands slid free of his shirt, one rising to brush the hair away from his face. Sasuke shifted uncomfortably at Naruto's expression and the touch. He didn't want to be the one ruining the mood. Naruto was obviously still in the mood, but he wasn't. There was nothing for it. "It's no good," Sasuke frowned.

"What are you talking about?" Naruto frowned, some petulant frustration breaking through the lust in his eyes. "You're still hard."

Those hips shifted to prove his point, and Sasuke went absolutely rigid. His teeth clenched and he glared dangerously. "Get off me and get out."

Naruto gaped for a second before glaring right back. He looked outraged, confused, and maybe even hurt in a faint surprised way. Sasuke didn't like that look, but he was in no mood to make allowances. Naruto's mouth closed in a stubborn frown and he leaned down on him. Sasuke reacted by twisting sharply and tossing him off the bed.

Naruto hit the floor, landing hard on his side. He lay there as if stunned. Sasuke shoved himself up to scowl down at him. He was still scowling when Naruto suddenly flinched, lurched up, and scrambled backwards halfway across the room from him. Sasuke blinked in surprise. Naruto's face had gone ash white and he was staring at him in what appeared to be horror.

"What?" Sasuke snapped. He was angry. He didn't want to be concerned for the idiot when he was angry with him.

"S-Sasuke...?" Naruto asked, in a high wavering voice. "That-" And he gulped, what little color left in his face draining way. "I didn't - I thought..."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed as his remaining anger faded into grudging worry. Naruto looked as if he were about to cry. Just the thought of it made him grimace. His voice was still sharp, but not as biting, "What? What's wrong?"

Naruto was shaking his head furiously. He had backed up until his back was tight against the wall, and still his feet pushed as if to scoot him further away. "I'm so sorry," he blurted, his voice catching. He sniffed, worrying his bottom lip and swallowing roughly. "I didn't know," he mumbled. "I'd never have pushed you if I thought - I didn't even-" and he flinched suddenly, sending a wild look around the room. "How did I even get in here? I was sleeping! I thought it was - I didn't - I was sleeping!"

Sasuke blinked. Anger, frustration, and amusement twisted in his stomach, edging out the worry and bringing a sneer to his face. He pushed off the bed and went over to crouch in front of Naruto. His lips twitched when Naruto flinched and waited for whatever blow he thought was coming. "Your fox came in here," Sasuke explained, his tone sickly amused. "I thought I was dreaming at first. I turned him down and he offered to wake you up. He woke you up."

Naruto swallowed again, with effort, his shoulders shaking as if the lump in his throat was huge and choke-worthy. "So all of it was..."

"Real," Sasuke smirked. "Yes."

"I'm so sorry," Naruto whispered, his face twisting again.

Sasuke shrugged. "I'm not. Up until the bite, and the refusal to quit, I didn't mind. Though next time tell him to make sure you know you're awake. I don't appreciate being played with."

"Next time...?"

There was a world of hopeful disbelief on Naruto's face, culminating in his extremely wide eyes. Sasuke found himself smirking again. He tried to get rid of the smile and failed.

"Maybe," Sasuke qualified. "Who is Hinata?"

Naruto blinked, squinted for a moment, and then tilted his head. "How do you know Hinata?"

Suddenly it was very easy for Sasuke to get rid of that pesky smile. His eyes narrowed. "Kurenai came to the house, earlier. She invited us to dinner on Friday. Hinata was with her. What is she to you?"

"She goes to school with me," Naruto shrugged, still looking confused. "She's really shy, so she doesn't have a lot of friends. She was nice to me right from the start, so we're good friends now."

"I suspect she has a crush on you."

Naruto blushed suddenly, a weak grin pulling at his face, "You picked that up just from meeting her once? Heh, kinda obvious, I guess. Yeah, she's had it since we met. She's really sweet."

Sasuke's eye twitched. He had expected a swift denial or a guilty admission, not some embarrassed and pleased dismissal of the issue. He scowled dangerously. "Are the feelings mutual?"

"Well, sure," Naruto shrugged. "I told you, she's really sweet. I don't see how anyone could not like Hinata. She's just-" He cut himself off suddenly, his face getting that distant 'I'm talking to my fox' look. Then he blinked and leaned forward to squint at Sasuke. "You thought I had a thing for Hinata?"

"I didn't think that," Sasuke frowned. "I'm asking if you do. If you don't, fine. If you do, leave me the hell alone and stop messing around with other people while she's quivering pathetically on your doorstep."

"Don't talk about her like that," Naruto scowled. A beat passed and he sniffed, leaning back with a smirk. "You're cute when you're jealous."

"Do you want to die?"

Naruto laughed, "No, thanks. And, no, it's not mutual. Not like that." He sobered quietly, "Hinata's really sweet, but Kyuubi hates her because she has been treated really bad and it shows. He says she's broken. I don't know about that, myself, since she stands up for other people. It's only herself she won't stand up for. Anyway, as much as I like her, I'm not attracted to her. I just never was. And even if I had been, it wouldn't work. I'd never be able to trust Kyuubi around her." He scowled at his lap, silent for a moment in what was obviously a quick exchange with the fox in question. Then he huffed. "Is that what you wanted to talk to me about, earlier?" he asked Sasuke. "When you said to meet you at the house?"

"Yes," said Sasuke. "I can't relate to people like that, but I refuse to take part in breaking them further. I don't interfere with other people." He had gone a good fifteen years without worrying about sexual experimentation. He would rather go another fifteen than find out he had messed around with someone who was already taken, by a desperately vulnerable girl, no less. He left that sort of thing to Kakashi. "She's not a mutant."

It wasn't a question, but Naruto answered, anyway. "No, she's not. But she's really nice about the mutant thing. She's one of the only kids in my class who didn't make fun of me when they found out about Kyuubi."

Sasuke nodded. Then he stood up and waved at the door. "Get out now."

"Eh?" Naruto blinked. He jumped up, suddenly looking wary again. "I thought you weren't mad about-"

"I'm tired," said Sasuke. "I want to go back to sleep."

"Oh." Naruto went over to the door. He stopped without opening it, shuffled for a second and then turned around. "I'm really sorry for pushing you. I would have stopped if I knew it was real."

Sasuke snorted at that. "If I let you get away with that in your dreams, stop dreaming about me. It'll get you in trouble in real life."

"Right," Naruto nodded seriously. "I'll remember that."

"Good," said Sasuke. "Now get out."

"Okay..."

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

They arrived in the attic, shortly after four in the morning. Iruka would have preferred to wait a few more hours, until rooms could be readied for them, and possibly a meal prepared. The most he had managed was to have Pakkun go ahead of them so Kakashi was waiting when they arrived, the only one who could see well enough in the dark to bring each passenger aside until Shikamaru had transferred them all. Iruka was the last, and he had just stepped over to pull the string to the overhead light when he was swept into a smothering hug.

He was startled to find that it wasn't Naruto, as he had expected, but Kakashi. A very happy Kakashi, who was mumbling contentedly, brushing a masked cheek against his own and holding him much closer than was appropriate in front of children. Impressionable bewildered children, who were now staring at them in varying degrees of surprise, confusion, and hesitant anger. Kiba took two steps toward them, looking as if he was about to protest the manhandling. Akamaru started a low growl that sent Ino stumbling away from him. She tripped over a sheet-covered lump that Iruka vaguely recognized as an antique chest full of odds and ends he had been meaning to unpack one of these days. A hand moved from rubbing Iruka's back to rubbing his ass. Iruka flushed bright red and sputtered.

"The hell are you doing?" Kiba blurted, rushing forward to defend Iruka's honor. All it took was a sniff to know the masked weirdo was not in a physical relationship with the blushing Iruka and thus had no right to grope him like that.

"Control that mutt!" Ino spat, glaring at Kiba and rubbing the dust off her aching tailbone.

"Not in front of the kids," Pakkun sighed, shaking his head at the oblivious Kakashi.

"Ka-kashi-san," Iruka stuttered, squirming and pushing frantically to get free.

"Troublesome," Shikamaru muttered, before yawning and slumping comfortably on a sheet covered sofa in the corner of the attic.

"Are they...you know...?" Sakura whispered, to herself since no one was paying her any attention.

Naruto broke the chaos with a jubilant and booming, "Iruka-sensei!"

Kakashi gave one grudging sigh and stepped back just as the blonde missile came sprinting toward them. Iruka was promptly tackled by a smaller, and perversion-free, glomper.

"Iruka-sensei!" Naruto cried, hugging furiously and grinning fit to split his face, "You're early! Why didn't you tell me you were coming home early!"

"Naruto," Iruka sighed. He should have known Kyuubi would notice the second they arrived. So much for not having Pakkun wake the kids along with Kakashi. He returned the hug with a weak smile. "Naruto, we have guests."

"Yeah, I know," Naruto said carelessly. He gave one more happy squeeze, grinning at Iruka. Then he stepped back, turned sharply and glared at Kakashi. "Don't think I didn't see that," he growled. "Keep your hands to yourself."

"You're one to talk," Kakashi murmured casually. His gaze swept over the kids spotting the dimly lit attic, taking stock of each, noting the dog, which had traded its growl for a confused whine, and stopping on the snoring boy in the corner. "Iruka," he said. "One of your kids passed out."

Iruka winced. He firmly pushed aside his lingering embarrassment. He would yell at Kakashi later. First things first. "Naruto, show everyone down to the kitchen, please. It's much too dusty up here. Kakashi-san," and his expression was all business as if the man hadn't just had a hand on his ass, "help me with Shikamaru. I want to put him in one of the bedrooms downstairs."

Naruto hopped to it, sending bright-eyed curious looks over the other kids, one lingering wince at Akamaru, and waving them to the door. Kakashi was a bit slower to respond, giving a long look from Iruka to the comatose kid napping on that dusty sofa.

"What happened to your hands?" Kakashi asked, after Naruto's troop had left the room.

"An accident," Iruka sighed. "I'll be able to heal them in a day or so. Watch his head," he warned, when Kakashi bent to pick up Shikamaru. "He has a nasty bump. Bringing us here didn't help matters any."

"And you couldn't wait," said Kakashi. "That's what Pakkun said."

"I really wish we had," Iruka frowned. He was following a step behind Kakashi, unable to keep from hovering. "Be careful," he said when they reached the stairs, "it's steep."

"I noticed," Kakashi said in amusement. "I did walk up these stairs to get to the attic."

Iruka nodded absently. "Here, that room there, just let me make up the bed first..."

Pakkun had followed them down. Now he sat at Kakashi's feet with an amused expression. "He's been hovering for the last hour over that kid," he commented, watching as Iruka hurried down the hall. "Really didn't want him bringing them over here. We're supposed to let him flutter while it lasts. He's running on worry, see. Once he crashes, he'll likely sleep for a day or two. The big guy over there said to let him go until he drops and then keep him down until his hands are healed up."

"Is it bad?" Kakashi asked, quietly, despite the fact that Iruka was too occupied with fixing up the room to overhear them.

"Nah," Pakkun sniffed. "Just exhaustion, is all. Had a mishap with one of those kids and used up all his energy. Nothing some bedrest won't cure."

"I see," said Kakashi. "I'll make sure he gets plenty of bedrest."

Pakkun snorted. "The key word is rest, you know."

"No, it's not," said Kakashi.

Iruka glanced over from where he was fluffing a pillow, "I'm sorry, what did you say? And you can lay him down, now."

"Just asking if the bed was ready," Kakashi smiled. "He'll sleep much better in a real bed. That is the key word, after all."

Iruka's smile was a touch confused, but he nodded in agreement, anyway. Pakkun snorted and padded out of the room.

In the kitchen, mild order had been established. Naruto was enjoying his moment in the spotlight. He had been on high since Kyuubi first woke him up with the excited news that Iruka was home early. His half asleep mind had barely registered Kyuubi's additional warning that Iruka had brought four strangers and another dog with him. Now he was excited, curious, and decidedly not worried. So there was a dog with the new kids. Kyuubi would get over that eventually. So there were two girls. The blonde one did look a little snooty, but she had dark circles under her eyes so she was probably tired and cranky. The pink-haired one looked like she was biting back a whole mess of comments, but she was absolutely filthy so she would probably feel better once she had a nice bath. So the boy was taller than him and smelled just like his dog. That was nothing a growth-spurt and a shower wouldn't fix. They were mutants. They were his age, or close to it. And they were in his house, looking at him with all the curiosity and respect Sasuke hadn't shown when he had moved in.

"Are you related to Iruka-san?"

Naruto looked at the pink-haired girl, who had introduced herself as Sakura. He had been tempted to ask her if she had been named for her hair and had wisely bitten back the impulse. "No, he adopted me a few years ago."

"So that's why you smell like him," Kiba sighed. A relieved grin broke on his face. "For a second there," and he shook his head, unwilling to admit what his first thought had been.

"I smell like him?" Naruto asked. His face twisted in disbelief. "Really?"

"Yeah," said Kiba. "Like him, but it's the same scent as the house, so-"

"Would you please stop smelling people?" Ino grimaced in disgust. "Normal people don't go around sniffing each other, talking about the way they smell. At least try to act human."

"Stop harping on him," Sakura rounded on her, looking just as disgusted. "You have something biting to say about everyone. At least he has an excuse, since he doesn't know any better. You're rude for the sake of being rude."

"Well," Ino sniffed, "forgive me if I prefer being in the company of civilized human beings. I forget that some mutants prefer skulking in the refuse because their talents make them unfit to be near actual people."

"Oh," Sakura scoffed, "that's rich coming from you. You're the one who had me crawling in the basement with the rats. You were perfectly at home in the refuse, then."

"Why not?" Ino scoffed right back. "I figured as long as I had to look like you, I might as well behave like you. I certainly don't remember you complaining about the location when you were railing like a banshee over having to be in contact with an actual person for more than two minutes at a time."

"Just because you were-"

"Just because you never-"

"They're always like that," Kiba muttered to Naruto. "Iruka said they'll be better once they get used to each other, but I got my doubts. The only time they stop going at each other is when an adult's around."

Naruto scooted his chair closer to Kiba, still staring in fascination at the bickering girls. "Are they gonna start pulling each other's hair?"

"Probably," Kiba snorted. "If they do, I put my money on Sakura. She's the bossy one."

"Hey," Sakura protested, glancing over at Kiba. "I was defending you..."

"Don't talk about her," Ino rounded, giving Kiba a vicious glare. "At least she doesn't sleep with dogs."

Kiba scowled, a protective hand dropping to Akamaru, who was lounging beside his chair.

"Wait," Naruto said quickly, blinking at Ino. "I thought you didn't like her."

"So what?" Ino frowned. "Does that give him any right to insult her? She's never done anything to him." She narrowed her eyes and stared until Kiba squirmed. "Apologize, Dog-boy."

Sakura squirmed as well, "Ino-"

"Shut up, Doormat," Ino sniffed. "I'm talking to Dog-boy, not you."

"Ino," Sakura said again, sharper this time. "Don't call me that. And stop calling Kiba that. You've being very rude. This is a horrible first impression for Naruto, especially when we're guests in his home."

"No," Naruto said quickly. "Don't mind me." He had never actually seen a catfight. He was looking forward to the hair pulling. "Just be yourselves."

"Hey," Kiba winced, "don't encourage them..." Akamaru whined in agreement.

Pakkun chose that moment to enter the kitchen. The girls settled in their chairs quickly, Sakura looking contrite, Ino looking slightly pinched at the sight of The Talking Dog. Iruka and Kakashi were a few steps behind.

Iruka smiled when he saw how suspiciously quiet it was. "I'm sorry for the wait," he said. "I had to get Shikamaru settled. Now we can do introductions and then-" He paused, his gaze sweeping over the table and stopping on Naruto. "Is Sasuke still asleep?" he asked in surprise. They had been quite loud in the attic, and then coming down the stairs. He couldn't imagine anyone sleeping through all that noise.

Naruto looked away, doing his best not to squirm, "Probably."

"He had a very late night," Kakashi explained, in a sly tone. His eye glinted when Naruto whipped around to look at him. "Very," he repeated, and Naruto turned bright red.

Iruka shot a confused look at Kakashi and then frowned, "Naruto?"

"What?" Naruto blurted, his face flaming hot. Inside he was cursing the pervert, cursing the fox, and praying Kakashi hadn't heard anything aside from their doors opening last night. He tried to remember if either he or Sasuke had made suspicious noises and his mind came up a big fat blank. If they had been quiet, then all Kakashi could possibly know was that he had gone into Sasuke's room last night. He could have been going in there to talk. And even if Kakashi had heard everything, it wasn't like he was just going to reveal it all in front of Iruka and three strangers, right? Right...?

"Are you all right?" Iruka asked Naruto. He had never seen him blush like that. He didn't like the implications of that blush.

"Huh?" Naruto blinked, still not quite looking at Iruka. "Um, yeah, sure. I'm fine." He blushed harder when he heard himself repeating Sasuke's catchphrase. "I'm just tired. And hungry, too." He was looking everywhere but at Iruka's eyes, so he jumped when he caught sight of a perfect distraction. "Say, what happened to your hands, Iruka-sensei?"

"Oh," Iruka winced, "it's nothing." He moved his hands back as subtly as possible and smiled. "Well, Sasuke can meet them after we all get some more sleep. In the meantime, this is Kakashi-san," he nodded to Kakashi, "and these are Sakura, Ino, Kiba, and Akamaru. I'm assuming you already introduced yourself, Naruto?"

"Of course," Naruto grinned.

"Good," said Iruka. "You can get the rooms ready, and lend some clothes if anyone wants a bath first. I'll-" He curled his hands, "Kakashi-san and I will fix a quick snack. We'll have a real breakfast later."

"Sounds perfect," Kakashi said, before anyone, namely Naruto, could protest. "Out," he waved, looking down at the new kids as if it were his house rather than Iruka's. "We'll call you when it's done."

Pakkun sniffed and padded out of the room ahead of the kids.

"How big is this place?" Kiba muttered quietly to Naruto on their way out, "I don't wanna room anywhere near those two..."

"I heard that," Ino snipped, just as quietly. "I don't want to room near those two, either," she told Naruto.

"I don't care where my room is," Sakura sighed, "I just want a bath..."

"You need one," Ino grimaced. "You smell worse than the dog."

"I thought we weren't supposed to talk about the way people smell," Kiba scowled.

"Shut up, Dog-boy."

Kakashi listened as the bickering moved off down the hall. Then he raised an eyebrow. Iruka was watching the door with an oddly content smile on his face. "You're happy?" asked Kakashi. "They don't get along very well."

"They're so different, it would be strange if they got along perfectly right away," said Iruka. "They'll be fine. The girls might never be the best of friends, but they know more about each other now than most people ever do."

Iruka knew most of it was pure bluster. As eager as they had been to separate when they were trapped in the same body, both girls had stuck close to each other afterward, with Ino following Sakura and Bunchu during their healing sweeps. That Bunchu had allowed Ino to tag along told Iruka he had come to the same conclusion. The girls argued in large part to hide the fact that neither was comfortable being alone. They could snipe and resent each other all they liked. He didn't find it the least bit worrisome. If anything, it was rather cute. The only thing that bothered him was that Kiba kept getting caught in the crossfire. He would have to warn Naruto from the making the same mistake in the future.

"Snacks," Iruka said distractedly. "Something simple to tide them over. Sandwiches, maybe, if the lunch meat hasn't gone bad." He prodded the refrigerator open with the back of his wrapped hand. "And something for Akamaru. I'll have to pick up some dog food tomorrow." He fumbled with an unopened packet of turkey slices and just managed to get it to the counter without dropping it. He frowned in frustration. "I should just take these off," he muttered at his hands. "I haven't even seen the damage yet."

"Now, now," said Kakashi. He eased up and wrapped his arms around Iruka's waist, pulling him back against him. He rested his chin on Iruka's shoulder so he was all but murmuring into his ear. "What you should do is sit down, have a cup of coffee, and let me feed your brood. Then you can pop your pill and hibernate until you're well enough to heal those hands on your own."

Iruka blushed, surprise and distress mingling on his face. That was twice in a matter of minutes. Had Kakashi been this forward when he had left? He frowned as soberly as he could under the circumstances. "What's gotten into you? The kids-"

"Are busy at the moment," Kakashi finished smoothly. "Relax. You're much too tense."

Faint amusement niggled in the back of Iruka's throat. It was that smooth tone Kakashi was using. Lazy, syrupy, as if he had all the time in the world. As if there weren't six children and two dogs in the house, any one of whom could come bursting into the room. "You're very confident, aren't you."

"For good reason," Kakashi assured him. He nuzzled Iruka's neck through his mask and promptly regretted it. Iruka didn't smell very good. There was a moldy animal scent clinging to his hair that made his nose twitch painfully. Kakashi grimaced against the sudden urge to sneeze. "Maybe a nice hot bubble bath before you hibernate," he suggested. "Just to help you relax."

Iruka laughed. This time when he squirmed free, Kakashi let him go. "Is that your suave way of telling me I smell like I've been creeping around in a rat infested basement? Because I have. And as much as I'd love to wash my hair, I can't exactly do that without unwrapping these," he held up his hands. Kakashi's eye lit up eagerly, and Iruka laughed again. "Don't even offer. If you want to help, you can wrap these back up for me when I'm finished."

Kakashi let out a long suffering sigh, "If you knew what I've been through since you left, you'd be nicer to me. I didn't come here to babysit someone else's kid, you know. I was already doing that with Sasuke."

"I'm sorry," said Iruka. He sobered quickly and even managed to look contrite. "I never intended to do that to you. I do appreciate your help."

"You made me shop for groceries," Kakashi reminded him.

Iruka's lips twitched, "I'm very sorry."

"Then you should make it up to me," Kakashi said seriously. "I'll allow that I haven't quite earned full-blown 'thank-you' sex. But I have more than earned the right to wash your hair for you. We could do it over a sink, if you want to be really stingy about it. You didn't even warn me about your kid's fox. He almost killed me yesterday, you know, and I won't even go into what he's done to Sasuke. If I weren't such a nice guy, I'd be asking for a lot more than I am."

"He told you about Kyuubi?" Iruka blurted, seconds before suspicion tightened his face. "What's wrong with Sasuke? I knew Naruto had done something when he wouldn't look me in the eye. I swear, if he-"

"Hold it, hold it," Kakashi muttered quickly. He pushed Iruka back down into his chair, "One thing at a time. We're talking about me, remember? Me, you, gratitude, repayment, and that stinky hair of yours. I'll feed your kids and see them settled, then I'm washing your hair. You're going to keep those bandages on and sleep until you can heal yourself. Right?"

"Fine, but-"

"Then," he continued, "when you wake up, I'll tell you all about the kids. It's nothing that won't keep for a night," or two, if Iruka slept as long as he expected him to.

"Kakashi-san," Iruka said, in a warning tone. "What's wrong with Sasuke?"

"Exhaustion mostly," Kakashi frowned. He could see where Naruto had gotten that stubbornness of his. "He'll sleep it off the same as you."

"What else?" Iruka demanded. "What did Naruto do? Nevermind, I'll ask him myself-"

"You'll be still," Kakashi said sharply. Iruka flinched at his tone, looking surprised and a tad angry. Kakashi sighed. "Naruto broke his arm," and he had to catch Iruka's shoulders to keep him from jumping to his feet. "There's nothing you can do about that. Even if you had the energy, you can't heal serious injuries."

"I can take him to a hospital!"

"No," Kakashi said firmly, "you can't. He won't go. As exhausted as he is, he still has enough energy to run if I try to force him for you. Not that I'm offering to do that. Think about it. What good would it do to have a doctor look at him? A single x-ray would raise a dozen red flags. It wouldn't even get that far. All he'd have to do is take his shirt off. He has enough scars to get some fussy busybody crying about child abuse. And who will they go to with their questions? You? Me? No, they'll want to speak with his legal guardian. You'll have enough trouble with him staying here without that brother showing up in person. Leave it alone. He has taken care of it as well as some doctor could. And if I have my way, Naruto's fox will be fixing it before long."

"Kyuubi...?" Iruka shook his head faintly. "Naruto can't heal people. He has never-"

"Just because he never has doesn't mean he can't," Kakashi cut in. "I'm working on that. Like I said, you've missed a lot in the last few days. I'll fill you in after you get some sleep. It'll keep till then."

Iruka shook his head again when Kakashi let go of his shoulders, but he made no move to get up. "Were they fighting?"

"Yeah," Kakashi sniffed. "Sasuke got some good hits in himself, but the fox healed them almost as fast as they landed. That's a really handy talent he has."

"I didn't want them fighting without supervision," Iruka grimaced. He wanted to demand, angrily, why Kakashi hadn't stopped them. Except he didn't need to ask. If Kakashi had already 'met' Kyuubi, then Naruto was the one he needed to talk to. Things had clearly gotten out of hand. "I was hoping they'd start getting along better than that."

"Oh," Kakashi said lightly, "they're getting along better. You'd be surprised how well they're getting along. They had a sparring match get out of hand, is all. Aside from that, yeah, they're definitely getting along well."

Iruka suddenly remembered that suspicious blush of Naruto's. His eyes narrowed. "Exactly how well are they getting along...?"

"Better than us," Kakashi muttered sullenly, as he went about making sandwiches.

Iruka groaned softly. Naruto was only fifteen, if that. Iruka had given him the obligatory talk over a year ago, but he hadn't expected it would be needed for...a long time. Naruto had too many issues to worry about romance and relationships. He was too eager to make friends and suspicious of the way other people looked at him. He had Kyuubi and a mess of complexes that Iruka had been unraveling since they had first met. He needed someone steady and supportive, not another teenage mutant with even more problems than him. And Sasuke needed therapy. A few years of counseling, and maybe a restraining order and body guards for good measure.

Iruka grimaced, "How could that happen?"

"I have no idea," Kakashi sighed. "I'm telling myself it's just curiosity. Or desperation. They might change their minds now that there are more kids around here."

"They are at that age," Iruka mumbled, unconvincingly.

"Yeah..."

.-.

The girls were arguing over the bathroom. Naruto leaned against the wall next to Kakashi's bedroom door and watched them. He couldn't look away. They had started as soon as they had gotten upstairs and realized Kiba had taken the only other bathroom. Ino had personally assigned him and Akamaru to the downstairs, vehemently stating she would never use a bathtub a dog had bathed in. Kiba had growled out something and slammed the door. Whatever he had said must have been in 'animal' talk, because Kyuubi found it funny as hell and refused to let Naruto in on the joke. With the downstairs off limits, Naruto had led the girls to the only other functional bathroom in the house. They had promptly slipped into spiteful insults and hissing girly nastiness. Naruto had never seen anything like it outside of television.

'I didn't think girls really acted like that,' Naruto murmured to Kyuubi. 'Hinata can't even get her voice to sound mean.'

'She's a plant,' Kyuubi sniffed in disdain. 'Grass is only strong against erosion. These two are wildfire.'

Naruto wrinkled his nose at the insult to Hinata, and frowned at the comparison. 'What's that supposed to mean?'

'That they would tear her apart along with anyone else foolish enough to get in their way. Learn from the beast-boy's mistakes. Don't get involved when they're going at each other.'

'Hey,' Naruto blinked. 'Beast-boy? Where'd you get that?'

'Smell,' said Kyuubi. 'He does smell like dog, but only his dog. The rest is a rich mix.' He sniffed, 'He's the only one of them that doesn't stink of rat. Much better smelling than these two.'

Naruto bit his tongue. He was so tempted to let the girls, particularly Ino, know that they smelled worse than Kiba. Only Kyuubi's warning kept him from interrupting the cat fight. He didn't want to get caught up in it. The girls were panting now, facing off in front of the bathroom door, hands curled into fists, teeth bared. They reminded him of weasels for some reason. Rabid, beady little eyes, sharp needle teeth, small but cool and deadly. Fur was going to fly and he had a front row seat.

'I hope they don't actually scratch each other,' said Naruto. 'Sakura's got the greenest eyes I've ever seen.' He kept imagining them being scratched out and it twisted that protective part of his stomach, the part that stood up for flowers and dolphins and pretty jerks who sparred with perverts.

'Her head is too big,' Kyuubi sniffed. 'She does have nice breasts, though.'

'Kyuubi,' Naruto scowled.

'The blonde will be better if we fatten her up. Perfect hips and,' he growled, 'legs to die for.'

'Legs!' Naruto mocked. 'What is it with you and legs? Sakura's much prettier. She actually looks like her name.'

'Hair should not be pink,' Kyuubi stated. 'The other one is far better.'

'You only like her because she's blonde with long legs,' Naruto said, rolling his eyes. 'Like those girls on the porno covers.'

Kyuubi gave a toothy grin, 'And you say I'm the one who memorizes the covers.' Naruto squirmed and blustered. Kyuubi snorted in amusement. 'I do like blondes. But it's not the color of the hair in this case.'

'Because it's clean?' Naruto guessed. He sent another look over the growling girls. 'Sakura's hair will be even prettier once she has a bath.'

'Not that, either. It's the length. Grab hold of that tail and she wouldn't be able to move an inch. Perfect.'

'Pervert,' Naruto sighed. 'She's mean. You saw how she was picking on Kiba. If you're gonna lust after one of them, it should totally be Sakura. She's the nice one.'

'So naive,' Kyuubi said in a wistful, pitying tone. 'Try listening, or actually looking instead of staring like a wide-eyed child. The flower isn't any better than the blonde. In fact, she's worse.'

'How?'

'Because she's holding back.'

Naruto squinted at Sakura, really looking this time. Ino was clearly going all out, giving a sharp tongue lashing that would have made Iruka's hair stand on end. Sakura was taking it quietly with nothing more than a glare. That just meant she had more self control, right? Only now that Kyuubi had pointed it out, Naruto did feel a little something coming from Sakura more than Ino. It was the worrisome stomach churning sensation he got when Iruka's fists started clenching and he lowered his head like a bull preparing to ram. The signal of an approaching storm, a yelling to rattle windows storm, in Iruka's case.

'What's she gonna do...?' Naruto blurted worriedly. He edged away from the two girls, goosebumps breaking on his arms. He could almost feel it in the air now. 'Kyuubi, what the hell is that?'

'Killing intent,' Kyuubi stated. 'Be afraid.'

Naruto cringed back another step.

Ino took a sharp breath, preparing to resume her current line of insult, a bitingly clever attack on Sakura's parentage guaranteed to kill the pink-haired thing since it was as true as it was humiliating. She had learned quite a bit while trapped in that big forehead. Like Sakura, she had completely forgotten their rapt audience of one. "What's more," she resumed, in a painfully mocking tone, "we both know that you-"

"Enough!" Sakura snapped. The word came out with the force of a slap. She took a sharp step forward until their faces were inches apart. "Stop it, you insecure bitch! That's not what this is about and you know it. You don't give a shit about my mom and I don't give a shit about your dad. My parents are dead and yours is a slovenly drunkard. So what? I don't care. I don't! I don't care. You care because you have the self confidence of a masochistic gnat. Buzzing around hoping someone will swat you so at least that way you'll have brought it on yourself. Well, you know what? I'm not going to swat you. You can be as nasty as you want and I'm still not going to do it. And it's not because I'm a doormat sucking up for a pat on the head, it's because you're not worth getting my hand dirty. You're pathetic enough without me swatting you down. If you weren't so defensive and nasty all the time, maybe-"

Sakura broke off as she suddenly found herself swung around and pushed against the bathroom door. The impact knocked the breath out of her. It was just as well. One look at the furious face looming over her would have made her heart stop, anyway. Bloodshot obsidian eyes glared her down.

"Shut up," Sasuke murmured.

Ino took a furious step toward the boy threatening Sakura, "Leave her alone! What are you-"

Sasuke turned his glare on her, and she froze mid-step. "You shut up, too," he said coldly. He glared at the two girls in turn until they were reduced to cringing in fear. Silent fear, thankfully. "Some people are trying to sleep."

Naruto jumped before Sasuke had taken more than three stalking steps back toward his room. Kyuubi hadn't given him any warning, and Sasuke had moved so fast he hadn't realized what was happening at first. Now he stared at Sasuke in rising horror. "Sasuke!" He darted over when Sasuke ignored him, catching his shoulder and forcing him to stop. "What the hell, Sasuke? You don't push a girl around like-"

Sasuke turned a blank stare on him, "Don't touch me."

Naruto flinched back, hurt flashing over his face. He watched Sasuke disappear into his room, closing the door quietly behind him. The click of the door seemed horribly loud in the silent hallway. Naruto flinched a second time at the sound of it.

'What happened?' he asked. 'What did I do? Was it me? He's not supposed to look like that anymore...' That was the blank look Sasuke had given him in the rain the first time he had touched him. As if he were a stranger, unwanted, insignificant, and easily disposed of.

"I'm sorry," Sakura said quietly, embarrassment tinting her cheeks to match her hair.

Naruto snapped around in surprise. "You're not the one who should-"

"I'm sorry, too," Ino muttered, her arms crossed.

"We didn't realize anyone was sleeping up here," Sakura said, looking at Ino for a second before glancing over at Naruto. "We didn't come here to cause trouble."

"You can use the bathroom first," Ino sighed, flicking her hair aside. "You need it more than I do, anyway."

Sakura snorted softly. "We could go in together. We're both girls."

Ino arched an eyebrow at that, "Aren't you perverted." She gave a slow smirk. "Why not. After all, you don't have anything I haven't already been inside of."

Naruto gaped as the two girls entered the bathroom, leaving him alone in the hallway. He blinked once, twice, and then exploded. 'What the hell? Kyuubi! What the hell did she mean by that? Inside of? She didn't - that's - I thought they hated each other!'

'The bathtub is so small, too,' Kyuubi hummed. He flicked his tails, torn between amusement and annoyance. 'It's always the hot ones.'

'Ew,' Naruto shuddered, hugging himself tightly. 'Stop! Stop imagining it! I don't wanna see that! Ino's mean and Sakura's scary!'

'Which makes it even hotter when they're naked and writhing against each other. Water slopping over the edge of the tub. Slick soapy goodness. Pushing the-'

'Stop it, stop it, stop it!' Naruto dove into his mind and whacked the perverted fox over the head with one of his own tails. 'Quit it! Stop! Just cut it out, you overgrown rat! Keep it in your own fantasies! I don't want any!'

'Liar,' Kyuubi grinned. 'You're already imagining yourself in that tub.'

'With Sasuke!' Naruto yelled. 'Not with two girls who are all over each other instead of me! If you're gonna fantasize about them, you should at least put yourself in the fantasy with them!'

'In this instance it's more fun to watch,' Kyuubi admitted. 'I'd join in after they've worn themselves out, just in case they protest having a male join in on the action.'

'Yeah, right,' Naruto scoffed, 'and I'd laugh my head off when they team up and drown your furry ass.'

Kyuubi straightened primly, tails curled over his legs. 'Don't talk about my ass.'

Naruto stared, squinted, and finally threw his hands up. 'You're such a freak. I'm gonna go find out what's wrong with the jerk. I don't care how hot he is, he can't get away with pushing girls. Not in my house. You can take your ass and your lesbian fantasies and play in that cage of yours. With the lights off, so I don't have to see it. Weirdo.'

Naruto hesitated outside Sasuke's door. He didn't remember how Kyuubi had gone in before. Sasuke would ignore him if he knocked, and get angry if he just went right in. He thought of how Sasuke had pushed Sakura against the door, and how shocked and scared she had looked. That brought a dark scowl to his face. Sasuke needed a talking to and he was going to get one. Right now. He steeled himself and fairly threw Sasuke's door open. He stalked in without hesitating. He caught a glint of eyes before Sasuke pulled the blanket over his head.

"Go 'way," came the muffled greeting.

"Not happening," said Naruto. He shut the door behind him, flicked on the light, and crossed to stand beside the bed. "What the hell was that, Sasuke? You can't just push a girl. You could have hurt her! She didn't do anything to you. Okay," he snorted, "maybe she woke you up, but that doesn't mean you can scare the crap out of her and push her around. It's not like she did it on purpose. She didn't even know you were sleeping in here. They just got here and-"

Sasuke pushed the covers back. One look at him was enough to shut Naruto up. He had seen him in the hall, as ruffled and cranky as that first morning when he was the one who had accidentally woken him up. He had gotten a good look at his blank stare when Sasuke had turned on him, too. But he had been too distracted to really look at him. He looked sick. No, not just sick. He looked miserable, like all he wanted in the world was a quiet hole to curl up in and die in peace. Naruto's overprotective instinct lurched into his throat.

"Sasuke-"

"Go away," Sasuke said, slowly, making pains to enunciate each word so even a toddler would understand clearly. "Get out. Leave me alone. Don't make me kill you."

"You look like roadkill," Naruto blurted. "What happened? You were fine, earlier."

Sasuke closed his eyes, too tired to muster up a suitable glare. "No," he muttered, "I wasn't. I was tired. I got woken by a fox. Bitten by a moron. Woken again by a herd of elephants upstairs. And again by two shrieking idiots right outside my door. Now I'm getting lectured. I'm tired. I'm thirsty. I hurt. If I have to get up again, I'm going to throw up and I gather from the idiots arguing over the bathroom that the other one is currently occupied. I don't have the energy to leave through the window. I could go out the front door, but I don't see the point when I could sleep right here providing you get out of my room and leave me the hell alone."

The last bit was accompanied by a dark bloodshot glare. Naruto winced. What Sasuke had obviously intended to be threatening came out pleading instead. It wasn't 'leave before I make you leave,' it was 'please just leave on your own, don't make me admit I can't force you to go.' Naruto had lived in hospitals long enough to recognize that look. It was an invalid clinging to the last threads of his self respect no matter how difficult he made things for those trying to help him. Sasuke would make a horrible patient.

"Be that way," Naruto said, in an annoyed tone, as if he wasn't four seconds from hugging the clearly weak and defenseless Sasuke until he stopped being so stubborn. "I can get you something to drink," he offered. "Iruka-sensei is making a snack for the new kids. There are four of them, but one of them is injured so he's sleeping now. I can bring you up something before you go back to sleep. We're going to sleep some more after we eat, anyway, since it's so early."

Sasuke eyed him, weighing his options. Sleep was what he needed most. Undisturbed sleep would replenish his energy enough to ignore the rest. On the other hand, he had lost too much blood to have missed dinner yesterday. Mutant powers were useless if he was too physically weak to function. A moment of thought brought him to the conclusion that his options sucked.

"Juice," Sasuke muttered. He pulled the blanket back over his head before adding a sullen, "Please."

Naruto grinned in amusement. Horrible patients actually were cute. He had heard a few nurses say that, talking about cranky old men and their sullen attitudes. Sasuke as a cranky old man. He liked that. "I'll be right back."

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Iruka was brainstorming. Some people made lists, planned things in ledgers, and carefully organized their thoughts. He let his mind ramble and wander where it liked, confident it would cover everything in such detail that by the time he focused it on the present, he would know all the things he needed to do immediately and dozens of things he wanted to do at some point in the near future. There had been a time when he couldn't remember what had happened from one day to the next. Now he loved his ability to plan everything in his head, knowing it would still be there tomorrow, and the day after, and next week. He hadn't written his plans in list format in over three years. If he had his way, he never would again.

He lounged on the couch in his quiet office, the tiny three-cup coffee pot growling away in the corner, and let his mind wander. There were so many things that needed to be done, that should have been done already, that would have been done if he hadn't been called away so suddenly. He needed a lock for his office door. Someone had been in here while he was away and tracked dirt all over the floor and the couch. Naruto, from the looks of the shoe prints, though he couldn't imagine how he could have gotten that filthy, or how he could have had the nerve to come into his office when he was that filthy. He needed a better caller ID for his office phone. Someone had called from an out-of-the-country number. That at least explained what business Naruto had coming into his office. As a rule, Naruto didn't go into his office and he didn't go into Naruto's bedroom. He needed to ask him about that phone call.

There were a few calls he needed to make himself, now that he was home. One to the hospital, because it was beyond foolish to rely entirely on healing talents when serious injuries were involved. He knew at least one person in administration. He seriously doubted they would give him the trouble Kakashi was worried about. This town had been accepting political refugees for decades. Half the long-term 'tourists' were hiding from one country or another. As long as they didn't cause trouble, no one minded them. That was part of the reason he had decided to settle here. No one cared about history. The only ones who asked questions were the long-term residential gossips and they were just as happy with lies as with the truth. So long as they had something new to talk about, they were satisfied.

He really needed to call Kurenai. There hadn't been time to warn her that he would be away. This was extremely bad timing. He had been corresponding with the man for months, and now, just when the man had been prepared to make a decision, Iruka hadn't been available to hear it. There were no other calls registered on his office line, so he assumed the decision had been given directly to Kurenai. However it had turned out, she would have come right over to tell him. Hopefully Naruto had taken a message. She was working nights now that school was out and he didn't have the heart to wake her up at five in the morning. She couldn't have been home for more than an hour. She was either sleeping now, or visiting with Hinata before crashing for the day.

He had to take the girls shopping as soon as possible. It had hurt to see them come into the kitchen wearing Naruto's clothing. Sakura didn't seem to mind, but Ino had been downright wilted. She had image issues and those shapeless clothes would damage her ego very quickly. He wondered if he could send them with Kurenai this weekend, or even Caldina. He had his own image issues that made it difficult for him to imagine spending a day in the women's clothing department. He would be ambushed the second he walked in. Half the single women in the town seemed to live in that part of the mall. He did his best to avoid such places. No matter how firmly he explained that he wasn't interested in getting a 'mother for his adorable little blonde boy' some persisted in bothering him. As if he couldn't tell from their eyes that they would just as soon see Naruto shipped off to an institution. As if Naruto would ever accept a strange woman coming into the house as if she owned the place. Best to avoid all of that.

He had to do something about Kakashi. He liked his office and he had picked the couch out specifically because it would be a comfortable brooding spot. He had never intended to hide in here first thing after waking up for fear that a tenacious man would be waiting for him in the kitchen if he went downstairs. He shouldn't have let him wash his hair. He hadn't realized there could be anything romantic or even pleasant about having his filthy head scrubbed in the kitchen sink. Maybe it was the soothing familiar scent of his shampoo. Maybe it was because he had been so tired and happy to be clean. Maybe it was Kakashi. He had to do something about that. He didn't want to.

He didn't want to talk to Sasuke, either. He had to. It wasn't the issue of Sasuke having some sort of sexual-experimental relationship with Naruto. That was normal. He didn't like it, wasn't comfortable with it, but he accepted it. He had gone through that phase himself, though he didn't remember it firsthand. Tenka had told him more than enough horror stories. If even half of them were true, then nothing the boys did would compare. He had no business lecturing them. He would try not to. What he had to talk to Sasuke about was the sparring, talents, what he suspected was a self-destructive nature. Or, if not destructive, at least careless and dismissive. That was fine when it only involved Sasuke. Well, no, it wasn't fine, but it was Sasuke's business and Iruka doubted he would get a say in that. When it involved Naruto and other children in his care that made it his business. He did have a say in that. Supervision. Ground rules. There was no other way. He was dreading the talk he needed to have. Sasuke would close off. He might jeopardize whatever progress Naruto had made in his absence. He didn't want to risk that.

He didn't want to talk to Sasuke alone. He would learn more from observing him at this stage than he would from cornering him. Maybe he could get the message across without addressing it just to him. The rules did apply to all the children living in his house. He doubted the girls would be experimenting with their talents, let alone getting into fights that would cause serious injury to one another. It still wouldn't hurt them to hear and know the rules. He could set them down in a group and make it a sort of belated introduction to the house. That would work best if he took Naruto aside first for a private talk. He was worried about Kakashi having 'met' Kyuubi so quickly. At the same time, he thought it best if Naruto was honest with all the kids about his other personality. It would prevent misunderstandings later. So he would talk to Naruto first, then he could address them all. This afternoon, if possible.

He would have Naruto show the others around afterward. That would give them a chance to interact and give him a chance to buy supplies. He hadn't expected the house to fill this quickly. He wasn't prepared for it. He felt guilty for having brought Kiba and the girls over only to have them wearing second-hand clothing and eating leftovers a day shy of the expiration date.

He had to remind himself not to let Naruto and Kakashi go grocery shopping again. He had expected Naruto to buy instant ramen. That was a given. He hadn't expected to open the cabinet and find it filled with a few month's supply of the stuff. He refused to even ask what Kakashi intended to do with the hoard of canned goods he had found in the second cabinet. He didn't want to know. Hopefully Ino or Sasuke had done the cooking yesterday. Ino had assured him, boastfully, that she was a wonderful cook. He was inclined to believe her. Even if she had lied, it was bound to be better than having Naruto make them instant ramen. He refused to consider that Kakashi might have cooked. He was being optimistic this morning.

He needed to get a lock for his bedroom door. He had set his alarm clock for ten, intending to grab a few hours of sleep and be up in time to make the kids a proper meal. Someone had come into his room and unplugged his alarm clock. If not for the wristwatch he wore to work, he wouldn't have known what time it was when he finally woke up. He had slept through an entire day. He didn't understand how he could have done that with so many children in the house. The noise should have woken him the moment they got up. He didn't understand why Naruto hadn't come up to wake him. He didn't understand how anyone had the nerve to mess with his alarm clock. He was responsible for a house full of children and he had left them unattended for an entire day. If the house hadn't been absolutely silent when he had woken up, he would be panicking and half out of his mind by now. He really had to do something about Kakashi.

He liked him. Sometimes. Kakashi was amusing to be around. He admired what he had done for Sasuke. Mostly. His hands-off method of parenting was countered by his genuine concern for the boy's welfare. Iruka found Kakashi's denial on that subject endearing. He was attracted to him. Unwittingly. He had always had a weakness for overly-confident and amusing men who thought they were more suave than they were. He enjoyed the banter. He appreciated anything Kakashi thought he could do to help Naruto with his talents. He really did.

Despite all that, he wasn't a hormone-driven teenager willing to toss reason and responsibility to the side for a fling after working so hard to get where he was. The kids would know. Naruto and Kiba might know immediately, from smell alone. Naruto would be upset. That was an understatement. He didn't know how the others would react, just that they would, and it wouldn't be anything good. Hiko would be an absolute pain if he thought he had 'gotten his way', and Tenka would be all over Kakashi the second he came home. Actually, Tenka would probably do that regardless.

He had already rejected him once. Or was it twice, now? Either way, he had already turned him down. It wouldn't take much to make a firmer, more final rejection. If Kakashi didn't like it, he would just leave a little sooner. Kakashi had only promised to stay for a week or two, anyway, to see Sasuke settled in. Kakashi had been casual about the entire thing, so it wasn't as if he would be hurt. He would just wander off until someone else caught his eye, no hard feelings. And Iruka would go right on devoting his time to other people's children and turning down the passes of would-be 'mothers' and dirty old men. Naturally. That was why he felt so tempted, after all. It wasn't every day that he found himself being pursued by a man he was actually interested in. He wouldn't have hesitated if he had met him before adopting Naruto. Everything was different now.

He pushed off the couch, feeling annoyed and frustrated, impatient. This was Hiko's fault. If he hadn't shown up when he had, Iruka might have enacted some unholy violence toward Kakashi and thoroughly terrified all thoughts of flirting right out of the man's head. That would have been embarrassing for Iruka, especially considering the neighbors who had been watching the entire scene. He would have felt guilty afterward, given the serious injuries Kakashi would have sustained had he succeeded in shoving him into the road to be run over by a few passing cars. Nevertheless, Kakashi would have been sufficiently discouraged right from the start and none of this would be an issue now.

He filled his office mug with coffee, automatically savoring the steam of freshly brewed caffeine. Then he stared at the tiny coffee pot, which was now less than half full. It was supposed to make three cups, yet it barely managed two. And he didn't have any more packets for that pot. His eyes narrowed in a sullen glare. None of this would be an issue now had Hiko minded his own business. He certainly wouldn't be hiding in his office, trying to make some gift-sized travel pot cover a morning's ration of coffee.

"That stuff will make your teeth yellow."

"I brush often," Iruka said, just a tad prim. "You, on the other hand, could do with some fluoride-laced doggy treats."

Pakkun lifted his head from where it had been resting on his front paws, "You buying?"

"Maybe," Iruka sniffed. He took a slow sip of his coffee. Then he turned a far too pleasant smile on the dog that was currently lounging on his chair. "Assuming you have a very good reason for being in my office. How long have you been there, Pakkun?"

The dog shrugged the kinks out, stretching his legs, mouth open in a wide tongue-curling yawn. He snapped his jaws closed with a quiet click. "Ah, ten, twenty minutes, give or take. Might have dozed off. This is a real comfy chair."

"Why are you in my office, Pakkun?"

Funny how sharp and threatening his name came out when Iruka smiled at him like that. Pakkun reminded himself that he could make an instant getaway the second he found himself in actual danger. He settled on his haunches, all lonesome doggy eyes and tiny little paws. He considered wagging the stump of his tail and decided against it. Too much effort. "The thing is, I'm not allowed to sneak into Sasuke's bed for a while, kinda messed up with him a little while back and now I'm playing it safe. The boss cuddles anything within grabbing distance when he's sleeping, so I don't even go there. I tried sneaking in with the shadow kid the other night and wouldn't you know, he kicked me right in the face. I gave him a good chomp for it." He wrinkled his nose, "Must not have bothered him much, cause he went back to sleep and almost smothered me to death. Kinda heavy for a scrawny kid. Wouldn't know to look at him until he rolls on your head. So then I figured I'd play up the cute doggy thing with that pink girl. Did pretty good with that until her blonde friend pitched a fit. I don't know what she's got against me. She doesn't smell like it's that time of the month. Anyway, I hopped back to Vermont yesterday and, well, that didn't go over very well, either. Looks like they done relocated on me. So I came back here and, yeah, that's about it."

Iruka stared blankly as the information penetrated his mind, made absolutely no sense whatsoever, and then dissipated like the steam off his rapidly cooling mug of coffee. "Why are you in my office, Pakkun?"

"Cause the bed wasn't warm after you left." Pakkun tilted his head to eyeball the man better. Clearly this whole 'waking up in a daze' thing was affecting Iruka's ability to think. It should have been obvious that if he had enjoyed sleeping in an empty bed he would have just picked one of the spare bedrooms here instead of hopping all over the place trying to find a quiet sleeper who wouldn't mutilate him the second he woke up. Iruka hardly moved in his sleep at all. Didn't kick, didn't snuggle, didn't make suspicious noises, didn't even steal the covers. It didn't get much better than that.

"You were sleeping in my bed? With me in it?" Iruka took a deep breath. He was not panicking. His voice only sounded small and high pitched because he was surprised. It had nothing to do with the utter loss of any privacy he had in his own home. "I didn't see you when I woke up..."

"I noticed," Pakkun grinned. "You jumped up so fast I half expected you to brain yourself on the ceiling. I got buried in the covers, so I just poofed downstairs for a bit. I would have hopped on the couch with ya when I got back, but you looked like you needed some brooding time. That's why I was napping on your chair. Just waiting for you to wake up for real this time. That friend of yours was right, you really don't function much till you get your coffee. You still look a little out of it."

Calm deep breaths. Long and deep. Iruka drew in a very deep breath and knocked back his coffee, which was still warm enough to burn his throat. He calmly refilled the cup. Then he went to stand beside his chair with the unrepentant dog staring up at him. "Pakkun. Never go into my bedroom again. Do you understand?"

"Why not?" Pakkun frowned. "I don't take up that much room." Why did everyone have such a big problem letting him sleep at their feet? He didn't lie on their faces like a cat or anything.

"Because I don't like people coming into my bedroom without permission," Iruka explained, as patiently as he possibly could. "It's nothing personal. It's a matter of privacy. That's my room. Just like this is my office. And that is my chair. I don't like people using them however they please. It's very rude."

"It's not like that was the first time I was up there. I had to go up to unplug that clock of yours right after you passed out the other day. And it's not like I'm 'people', you know." Pakkun gave his own condescendingly patient look, "I'm a dog. That's why your fox kid said it was okay for me to go unplug it. Cause you don't like people going in there. It was me or Akamaru and, just between us, the pup's got a bad habit of chewing on stuff. He probably would have electrocuted himself. Good intentions and all, but, yeah, not the brightest I ever met, far as dogs go."

Iruka shook his head. Pakkun stared at him, beginning to get a little worried. The man looked so out of it. Mouth open, eyes sorta glassy and red around the edges, and he just kept shaking his head like one of those motion things, back and forth, back and forth. Had a sorta hypnotic rhythm to it. Weird...

"You okay, there?" asked Pakkun. "Want me to call the boss in here? He's down in the kitchen. I told him you were hiding in here, depressed him a little, till he realized you only have a bit of coffee in here and there's a whole big pot just waiting for you downstairs. He'll come running if I call him." He snorted, "Actually, he'd probably come running if you opened the door and whispered his name. Just about tackled me when I pushed the kitchen door open, thinking I was you. The guy's got serious issues..."

"Pakkun," Iruka said slowly. "I want you out of my house."

"What? What did I do?"

"I want you out," Iruka repeated. He had stopped shaking his head. Now he was absolutely motionless, speaking in a clipped monotone voice. "I don't care where you go as long as you get out of my house. Right now."

"You're kicking me out?" Pakkun yiped. "I'm a guest!"

Iruka snapped, blurting, "No, you're not! I never invited you in the first place!"

"Yeah, well, someone invited me, otherwise that shadow kid wouldn't have been able to get here. I gotta be someone's guest."

"You're Hiko's guest," Iruka spat. "He invited you and he doesn't live here. Go molest him in his sleep. He'll probably like that."

"Ew! He's human!"

One step, a lunge, and Iruka had a fat brown pug dangling in front of his face. He held him by the wrinkled fur folds at the back of his neck and gave him a nice shake to make absolutely certain those bulbous eyes were taking in every word he said. "Pakkun. Get out of my house. Out. Get out. Now!"

He might have shaken him a little too hard. There was a poof of pale gray smoke that smelled faintly of charred dog. How Iruka recognized that scent, he didn't want to know. He sank into his chair and put his head down on his desk. He had lost his temper with a dog. He had spent the night, who knew how many hours, sleeping with a dog in his room, in his bed. Naruto had given a dog permission to come into his room and touch his alarm clock. Naruto. The same Naruto whose split personality freaked out if a dog so much as looked at them in public had teamed up with a dog against him. And Kakashi really was staking out his kitchen waiting to pounce the second he came down. It all was too much.

Breathe. He drew in a shaky breath. Things had gotten out of hand lately. He was still in control. He was. Really. He just needed to calm down and put things into perspective. He would laugh about this later.

He lifted his head to send a furtive look at the edge of his desk. His coffee cup wasn't there. Come to think of it, he didn't remember setting it down. Slowly, warily, he turned his head to look at the floor. His last cup of caffeine. All over his office floor. And there were little tan dog hairs floating in the spilled coffee. He felt his eye tick. No, he wouldn't laugh about this. He clearly wasn't in control at all. Time to take it back.

First he healed his hands. The bandages were icky from having been slept in and left to coagulate for days. He saw the damage for the first time, burns along the top of his hands, skin seeming to float in patches over sticky red. That explained why Bunchu hadn't wanted him to remove the bandages before he was able to heal them. Had he known the achy pain was due to something so serious, he might have overreacted. Now it barely took a moment's concentration to fix. His palms were the worst. In the dream, or memory as it were, he had cut them to bits grabbing hold of that shattered window edge. That was exactly how they looked.

He wondered what Bunchu had done to him to keep those cuts from hurting more when he flexed his hands. The man couldn't have made them stop hurting. Had he done something to his mind, interrupted the feedback from his pain receptors so that he simply wasn't 'told' how much it hurt? That was risky. He could easily have complicated the damage, thinking it wasn't very serious, since it barely hurt, not realizing what he had done until he could see the injury itself. Even now, when he could see how he had torn the cut on his right hand from grabbing Pakkun up like that, he couldn't feel any more than the distant ache he'd had since he had woken up on that cot. He tried to take it as a compliment that Bunchu had trusted him to follow his instructions, to remain inactive so the injuries weren't complicated before he had a chance to heal them. He failed miserably. Bunchu shouldn't have done that. People felt pain for a reason, to warn them when they were doing something damaging, to keep them from making it any worse than it was. This was the same as drugging him to block the pain without telling him that he had been drugged. He didn't appreciate it.

By the time he finished cleaning the mess on his floor, he had gotten a very good look at the chair he had been sitting in. More tan dog hairs all over the soft cushion. He would have to buy a few rollers while he was getting supplies. Akamaru probably shed as well and unlike Pakkun, Akamaru was a guest in his home. He firmly pushed aside any thought of his bed. The blankets could be washed. At least he wasn't allergic to dogs. It could have been worse.

Kakashi came to attention the second he pushed open the kitchen door. He straightened in his chair, eye twinkling, a wide smile visible through his mask. He made no attempt to tackle or attack. Iruka was almost disappointed. He had been looking forward to having a perfect excuse to lash out at him. Now he felt himself deflate. All of his determination to set things in order, remind Kakashi exactly who was in control in this house, and whose kitchen it was that he had chosen to camp out in, all of it smoldered sullenly into silence. Kakashi wasn't alone. Pakkun had failed to mention that.

Akamaru was stretched out to the side of the door, his fluffy tail wagging into motion as he gave his own open-mouthed smile. Iruka had a sudden urge to pet him, as much because he looked sweet as to thank him for being so much better behaved than a certain pug dog. He smiled instead. He suspected Akamaru knew what he had almost done, because he chuffed at him and his tail waved even faster. Was the dog laughing at him? Possibly. Iruka wouldn't blame him if he was. He would have to overcome his nervousness of the puppy's size. It was getting embarrassing. Silly.

He stepped into the room and was promptly assaulted by a quietly cheerful humming and an aroma that reminded him, rather forcefully, that he had slept through a day's worth of meals and was currently operating on a single cup of coffee for energy. He had used that up on his hands and his newly reclaimed self control. His eyes flashed to the counter, widening, then softening in amusement. He shouldn't have worried so much about the kids. At least one of them had made herself at home.

"That smells wonderful, Ino."

"Doesn't it?" Ino tossed over her shoulder. "You need a whisk. And another spatula or two." She glanced at him, waving the silver spatula she was using on the two skillets. "Plastic, Iruka. Metal cooking utensils will scrape off the finish and you'll have rusted pots before long. It never fails. Of course, you'll have to replace your pots eventually. These have barely a year's life left in them. They won't even last that long if you keep using metal on them."

Her tone was carelessly condescending. She shook her head, sighed at the futility of trying to tell a man how to keep a kitchen, and resumed her humming. Iruka sidled to the coffee pot, snagged a cup, and retreated meekly to the table. He didn't smirk until he was confident her activity had her undivided attention once more. She hadn't lied about her cooking skills. She had failed to mention how much she enjoyed cooking. The humming was as charming as the picture she made, her long hair swishing pleasantly, not unlike Akamaru's tail. Iruka kept that observation to himself. No sense ruining her good mood. He was also pleased to note that she was not wearing Naruto's cast off clothing this morning. The outfit was awkward and dark, not fitting her coloring or personality. It was visibly new, though, and that was enough to put her confidence at ease.

"What did everyone do yesterday?" asked Iruka. Although he addressed the question to both of them, his eyes pinpointed Kakashi. "I seem to have overslept."

Kakashi contrived to look hurt. "You're not blaming me for that, are you?"

"We all decided," Ino called. "Bunchu said you needed rest and I, for one, agree with him." She pointed the spatula at him. "You'll be no good to anyone running on empty. It's common sense." She gave a soft sniff of disgust, "Setting the alarm for a few hours when you were clearly told you needed complete bedrest? That's irresponsible."

Iruka's lips twitched. On second thought, perhaps having Ino overly confident wasn't such a good idea. She had a great potential to be insufferable if it lasted too long. "So you decided to have Pakkun unplug my clock?"

"That was Naruto's idea," Kakashi informed him, happily, like a child tattling on his rival. "He said whoever did it might need to go away for a while afterward and Akamaru doesn't have anywhere else to go. Pakkun was the natural choice, what with his convenient means of instant escape."

"Yes, I noticed that. He seems to come and go however he pleases."

"Side effect of being a dog," Kakashi said, dismissively. "He's not human enough to see things our way and too human to get along with his own kind. You can't blame him for it. Given the choice between sleeping outside like a stray and snuggling up in someone's bed like a house pet, anyone would take advantage of his talents. He never settles anywhere, he just pops up from time to time looking for a place to sleep."

Iruka sighed. Perfect. Now he felt bad for having chased him off. A poor homeless dog who was as much a mutant as the rest of them, simply seeking a warm bed for the night, and he had kicked him out of his house. That was charitable of him.

"He does have a playful streak, though," Kakashi continued, his tone dripping with amusement. "The less welcome he is, the more likely he'll sneak into your bed. He gets a kick out of irritating people first thing in the morning."

On second thought, even pitiful homeless mutant dogs had to respect the rules. Iruka had enough trouble in the morning without having to deal with a dog sneaking into his bed.

"I see you've healed your hands," said Kakashi. "The sleep did you good. Mind if I take a peek?" He pushed the band off his eye, not waiting for permission.

Iruka let him stare for a good minute before frowning back at him. It didn't take that long to gauge his energy. Kakashi was just using this as an excuse to stare at him with that eye of his because he knew how uncomfortable it made him. He raised an eyebrow in response, "Well? Is it all right?"

"You're perfect. I could look at you all day."

"Oh, stop it," Ino grimaced. "His hair's a mess, he's still wearing the clothes he slept in, and he's got a serious case of redeye." She flashed a vaguely apologetic look at Iruka. "No offense."

"None taken," Iruka murmured, smirking into his coffee.

"Speak for yourself." Kakashi sent a smoldering scowl at the girl. "Don't you know love is blind?"

"And stupid, besides," said Ino. Her eyes rolled, coming to rest on Iruka. "He's a freak. And an adult. Why is he here?"

"He came with Sasuke."

"And you decided to keep him? What for, comic relief?"

"He is amusing," Iruka smiled. "He can be helpful when he tries. He did keep an eye on the place for me while I was gone."

"A guard dog could do that."

Akamaru chuffed in agreement.

Kakashi shifted in his chair. "I'm sitting right here, you know."

"That's another thing," Ino rounded. "Do you know what the freak did when I came in earlier? Groped me! It's bad enough having a dog in the kitchen without being attacked by a pedophile the moment I walk in."

Iruka turned a very slow stare on the man, who reacted by slouching lower in his chair.

"I thought she was Sasuke!" Kakashi scowled. "Naruto lent the girls some of the new clothes we bought. I was confused by the smell."

"So groping Sasuke would have been acceptable to you?"

"I wasn't planning to grope anyone! Sasuke would have hit me or dodged. It's not my fault she just stood there." Kakashi's eye narrowed suspiciously, his gaze flicking from Iruka to Ino. "I think she liked it. She was looking at me funny all day yesterday. I'm so glad you're here to protect me. I was half afraid she'd molest me before you came down."

"Kakashi-san!" Iruka's mouth twisted faintly. He was not amused. He wasn't. Well, okay, he was, but only because Ino took the accusation in stride. It made him wonder what the two of them had in common to have fallen into a teasing ritual so quickly.

"Oh, please," Ino scoffed. "You're so not my type. I don't go in for freak mutant pedophiles."

"You don't deny you were staring at me, though," said Kakashi.

"Of course not. You're wearing a mask. I don't care how deformed you are, only a freak would wear a mask. You might as well wear a sign declaring yourself a mutant."

"I'm happy to be a mutant."

"Which makes you even more of a freak."

Kakashi sighed and sent a sad look at Iruka, "You're going to have a lot of trouble getting this one settled. She's the blackest pot in the bunch."

"Making you the kettle?" asked Iruka.

"Naturally," Kakashi all but purred, "I make the most interesting sounds when I'm all heated up."

Iruka's eyes closed in a tight wince. He had walked right into that one.

.-.

The day started off on a mixed note for Naruto. Breakfast was nice. Ino wasn't being nearly as spiteful toward Kiba, not in front of Iruka, anyway, and she was an even better cook than Sasuke. He liked the way it felt to sit there eating good food with Iruka and the new kids, all of whom had been nice to him. Unfortunately he was too sore to sit still in his chair for more than a minute at a time. He kept shifting to get more comfortable. Each time he squirmed, Kakashi sent him a sly look that made his face flame red. He just knew Iruka was going to get the wrong idea.

He had woken up in Sasuke's room this morning, sitting backwards in his chair and staring at him. Or rather, he had woken up to find Kyuubi sitting in Sasuke's chair. This whole taking over his body thing had to stop. For one, he didn't trust Kyuubi. For another, spending the night crouched on a chair was hell on his muscles the next morning and he was the one who had to deal with the ache while Kyuubi napped. Not to mention that if Sasuke had woken up to catch him staring, he would be forever branded a creepy stalker. Assuming Sasuke didn't kill them. Kyuubi might take pride in stalking and being creepy. Naruto did not.

He had already had enough trouble yesterday trying to tend to an increasingly cranky boyfriend. He was worried when Sasuke didn't come down in the morning, so he had taken it upon himself to bring something up to him. He had even cooked it himself. What thanks had he gotten? A growled lecture about ramen not being a breakfast food. Then when Kakashi had made a really cool stew for lunch and he had tried to con him down to eat, he had gotten the door slammed in his face. Finally he had snapped and threatened to drag him downstairs so he could cook his own damn food, since he was obviously too good to eat other people's cooking. That had ended with Sasuke forcibly throwing him out of the room and barring the door. He still didn't know how Kyuubi had managed to get back in there, especially without waking him up.

The fox apparently found Sasuke's antisocial invalid routine wildly amusing. The angrier Sasuke had gotten, the more Kyuubi liked it. Naruto tried explaining that fighting with Sasuke meant they weren't 'boyfriends', which meant no kissing, no foreplay, and definitely no sex. Kyuubi countered that the angrier Sasuke was, the more adrenaline was pumping through his body and the more toned he was for violently delicious sex. When Naruto pointed out that anything 'violent' in Sasuke's current condition would land him in the hospital, Kyuubi had dismissed it entirely, commenting smugly that if he did land in a hospital it would be even easier since he would be strapped to a bed and unable to resist. At that point Naruto had given up trying to reason with him. Kyuubi had issues.

Now his breakfast was marred for the second day in a row all because of his stubborn boyfriend. They had eaten in the dining room where there was more space. Those empty chairs kept reproaching him every time he glanced up. There was a jerk upstairs who hadn't eaten anything in days. His jerk. He had said he would take care of him because Sasuke clearly couldn't take care of himself. He was doing a really lousy job of it so far. He wondered if it would be counterproductive to physically restrain and force-feed the asshole. He immediately told himself never to call Sasuke that again. Kyuubi knew exactly what he wanted to 'force-feed the asshole'. Naruto ended up choking and spitting his half-chewed food all over the table. Then he had to deal with stares, complaints from an insulted Ino, concern from Sakura, that knowing look from Kakashi, and a "Damn, man, that's gross!" from Kiba, who had gotten royally splattered. At least all Iruka did was make him clean it up and apologize.

It wasn't until Iruka excused himself to go check on the other invalid in the house that Naruto realized there was a partial solution to all his problems. Iruka was home. He had healed his hands. He could heal other stuff. If he healed Sasuke's cut then the jerk couldn't use that injury as an excuse not to walk around. Then he wouldn't be able to hide in his room without admitting he was only doing it to avoid the new kids.

He followed Iruka and shuffled in the doorway to one of the spare rooms. He had known there was another kid in there, he had just...forgotten. Kiba said the guy had been sleeping for days, like he was in a coma or something. Sakura said she thought the guy was narcoleptic, whatever that meant. Ino said he was a freak with no manners. Naruto had assumed there was something wrong with him. Then he had been distracted by the jerk and he hadn't thought much about it anymore. Now he edged into the room so he could get a better look at him. All he could make out was a short tail of messy black hair and a pale face poking out of a blanket-covered lump.

"How are you feeling?" asked Iruka.

The boy let out an annoyed groan and rolled over to face the wall. Naruto winced. Couldn't the guy tell Iruka was in worry mode? Ignoring him wasn't going to work.

"Is there anything you need?"

"Sleep," the boy grumbled. He pulled the blanket higher on his shoulders.

Iruka's face fell into a sober frown, "You've been sleeping for days. Now that you're awake, you should eat something."

There was a mutter about eating taking too much effort, and Naruto snorted to himself. This guy was as bad as Sasuke. Just...more sluggish about it.

"Shikamaru."

Naruto winced again. He knew that tone. Iruka was about to launch into his 'stubborn children must do what is best for them, whether they like it or not' mode. He wondered if he could adopt that approach with Sasuke. Somehow he didn't think he would be able to pull it off without getting his face bashed in. Iruka just had a knack for it.

"It's time to get up. I'm going to check your injuries. Then you can take a bath and I'll have some soup ready when you get out. I know you're exhausted. That's all the more reason not to risk dehydration. When is the last time you ate or drank anything?"

Another groan, longer this time. Then the boy sat up and Naruto got a good look at him. If he had thought Sasuke looked sickly the other night, this kid looked like a corpse. Pasty, hollow, like he was barely even there. He had a nice strong glower, though. He aimed it Iruka as if he had no idea who he was up against. Dumb kid. Seriously.

"What's the date?" asked Shikamaru.

"What?"

"Today's date," he muttered. "The last time I ate was..." He rubbed a hand over his face, shook his head, and he glowered some more. "On April 15th at...3:27 pm."

Naruto gaped, "You haven't eaten in a month?"

The kid sent a blank look at him. "I was on a hunger strike. Doesn't take as much effort and all they do is hook you up to an IV, anyway." He yawned for a long moment. Then he turned a watery gaze on Iruka. "If it's all the same to you, I've had enough of people poking at me. I heal slowly. That's normal. Humans do it all the time. I might take you up on that soup, though. Later. Like in a week or two. Now, all I want is sleep."

Iruka's face darkened, "I can't let you go a week without eating when you've already-"

"Right," Shikamaru interrupted, wincing at his tone. "Whatever. Too much trouble arguing about it..." He slumped back on the bed, pulling the covers over his head as he went. The second his head hit the pillow, the covers fluttered and flattened.

Naruto gaped as Iruka pulled the covers back to reveal the empty bed. "How did he do that?"

"I ran him off, too," Iruka murmured, sounding upset and quiet.

"He'll come back," Naruto said quickly. "He's just being stubborn," like a certain jerk he knew. "He's going to be staying here, right? So it's not like he won't be back."

"He just wanted a place to sleep. I shouldn't have bothered him..."

Iruka sounded dejected, guilty, and much too upset for Naruto. It was enough to send him into worry mode himself.

"Iruka-sensei-"

'He's in the attic,' Kyuubi grumbled, half asleep.

Naruto repeated that quickly, grateful that his fox wasn't always an ass. "See? He didn't go far, so it's okay."

"I see," sighed Iruka. He shook his head. When he turned, his expression was sober and thoughtful, without a hint of that panicky 'what have I done this time' face. "I'll give him a day, then try again. I don't care what talents he has, they're housed in a human body and that won't last long if he doesn't eat. Honestly..."

'Maybe he doesn't want to last long...'

Naruto did not repeat that. Iruka was settling into his stubbornly confident self again. No sense spinning him around with a 'maybe he's suicidal' from Kyuubi. Just when he thought the fox was being helpful for a change...

'Wait till you get to Sasuke,' Kyuubi purred sleepily. 'Then I'll be just as helpful as can be. You have my word.'

"Yeah, right," muttered Naruto.

"Excuse me?"

He gave a little jump, reminding himself why he had followed Iruka in the first place. "Iruka-sensei, I need you to heal Sasuke. He's not eating, either. Nothing yesterday and only breakfast the day before. He gave me some crap about not wanting to walk around since he's got a nasty cut on his side. Really, he's just trying to avoid the new kids because he's an antisocial jerk and I yelled at him for scaring the girls when they got here. Anyway! If you heal the cut he won't be able to use that excuse anymore. I thought about sitting on him and force-feeding him-" Kyuubi opened his perverted mouth and Naruto added a hasty, "ramen! But I don't wanna make things worse."

"Kakashi-san told me about his arm." Iruka paused long enough for Naruto to blanch. "What's this about a cut?"

"The pervert cut him up!" Naruto blurted, eager to reassign the blame. He was gratified by the look of shock, disbelief, and wakening anger on Iruka's face.

"He failed to mention that."

"I'll bet! It was awful, Iruka-sensei! He cut up his side and it was all bruised like he was punching it to make it bleed more or something. Sasuke said they were sparring, but it looked more like he was torturing him or something. Seriously twisted. And instead of patching him up, he was hitting on him trying to get his clothes off - right in the backyard! I patched him up myself. Did a really good job, too."

"And then a few hours later you ripped it open worse than it was to begin with," Kakashi drawled from the hall. "Don't leave that part out."

"I did not!" Naruto rounded.

"Ah, that's right. That was your fox, not you. I assumed that since he's your split personalty, you would take responsibility for his actions. I see that's not the case. My mistake."

Naruto stared at the pervert, who was now giving him a scary narrow-eyed smile. There was a suspicious silence inside his head. His own eyes widened. 'Kyuubi!'

'I might have pushed a little too hard on the cut. I was angry.'

'You-' The fox sounded a tad sullen, but not the least bit apologetic. Naruto's stomach twisted. "So it's my fault he looked like-" four day old roadkill "-that?"

"A combined fault," Kakashi admitted. "Your fox wouldn't have attacked him if he hadn't interfered and he wouldn't have interfered if I hadn't been preparing to use chidori on you. So we're both to blame." He caught Iruka's stare and gave him a guileless smile. "I'd be more than happy to fill you in."

"I'll take you up on that," said Iruka, in a dangerously serious tone. "Later."

Kakashi murmured cheerfully, "It's a date."

Iruka left the room with Naruto quick on his heels. Kakashi watched them with a pleased smile, "That went well."

"Close the door on your way out," came a grumpy mutter.

He glanced over, recognizing the semi-comatose lump on the bed. "That's a very convenient talent you have," he told the boy. "Remind me to touch you later."

"Whatever," Shikamaru muttered, "just close the door. Preferably from the outside."

"Sure thing," smiled Kakashi. He added some thick soundproofing to the door and wall while he was at it since he was feeling so magnanimous. Then he nodded happily to himself. That had gone very well.

.-.

Sasuke didn't make even a token protest. He had guessed what was coming the moment he heard the knock on his door. Naruto pounded or came right in. Kakashi knew him too well to dare bother him when he was convalescing. He would come down as soon as he was confident he would be able to take a punch to the side without his guts falling out, another day by Sasuke's count. The extended sleep was doing wonders for his energy, despite Naruto's regular interruptions. Already he had reinforced his injuries so well they hadn't hurt when he had thrown Naruto out of his room last night. That was good, because he had been dying to do that for the last forty-eight hours.

When he opened his door to a concerned and sober Iruka, he wasn't the least bit surprised. The man seemed to expect a protest from him. He couldn't imagine why. It wasn't as if he enjoyed being wounded and vulnerable. He had a serious injury that would cripple him if he were attacked right now. Of course he wanted it healed. Iruka looked so surprised, even suspicious, when he invited him in and cooperated without hesitation. Sasuke wondered what the man thought of him, to be so surprised by a little gratitude. This wasn't like having someone else bandage his wounds. He could do that himself. Iruka was a healer. That was something he would never be able to do on his own.

Naruto followed Iruka into his room. Sasuke did want to protest that. He had woken up this morning to find his chair sitting one foot from his bed instead of braced against the door, meaning whoever had moved it had come in through the window. That was simply suicidal considering how close the window was to his bed. This 'coming into his room while he slept' thing had to stop. He wouldn't always be as out of it as he had been lately. He was a very light sleeper with a tendency to kill anything that got too close to him. As confident as Naruto was in his self-healing, Sasuke wasn't interested in putting it to the test.

The healing took only a few minutes. He sliced the bandages off, let Iruka heal the cut around the thread, and then pulled it free so he could heal the rest. Naruto made one rather loud interruption when he spotted the neat stitches, his outraged "You let the pervert stick a needle in you?" immediately being silenced by a sharp look from Iruka. Sasuke envied the man's skill. His own glares tended to make Naruto talk more rather than less.

Iruka stepped back when he had finished, his eyes dark and sober, "I was planning to wait until I could get all of the new kids together before saying this. Now I think it's better not to. Naruto," he nodded when the blonde edged closer, "this includes you. If you're going to fight, spar, do it in a way that doesn't cause lasting injury. Both of you have very dangerous talents. Experiment with them on inanimate objects, not on each other."

Sasuke found it odd that the man was looking mostly at Naruto. Of the two of them, his own talents were far more dangerous. Naruto's talents had the potential to be deadly, but only if he lost control. His own talents were designed to be deadly. Then again, he would never willingly use those particular talents on Naruto or anyone else living in Iruka's house. Maybe Iruka knew that.

"As for you," Iruka said, turning to Sasuke. "You can't heal the way Naruto can. Even seemingly insignificant injuries can add up, get infected, complicated, and turn into serious ones. If you're injured, whether it's from sparring or something else," and his stare made it very clear he was referring to attacks, "tell me. I understand your aversion to hospitals. I'll arrange for you to see someone who won't ask questions. You have my word. In fact, I intend to have your arm looked at before the end of the day. I don't-"

"That's not necessary," Sasuke said sharply.

"I'll fix it," Naruto interrupted just as quickly.

Sasuke's gaze snapped to him. Naruto's head was down, messy blonde bangs shielding his eyes as if he were riddled with guilt. His deeper, slightly rough tone said otherwise. He didn't need to see those eyes to recognize the voice. Oddly enough, Iruka didn't seem to catch on that it wasn't Naruto speaking.

"Kakashi-san told me he wanted to you to try healing it," Iruka said to Naruto. "You've never done anything like that. There's no guarantee that-"

"I'll do it."

Iruka frowned, looking torn and possibly concerned, "Naruto?"

The blonde lifted his head, eyes closed in a wide smile that Sasuke wasn't buying for a second. Iruka apparently bought it, because his stance relaxed fractionally.

"Trust me," Naruto grinned. "When have I ever gone back on my word?"

"Never," sighed Iruka. He went to the door, hesitated, glanced at the two of them with an uncomfortable expression, and then shook his head and left them.

Sasuke tensed the second he closed the door. He moved just in time to deflect a rather pointed lunge in his direction. He skirted the blonde, who was now crouched on his bed. "What do you think you're doing?" he glared.

"Keeping my word," the fox grinned, without so much as a hint of blue in his eyes. "Relax. I'm just going to heal your arm."

"And Naruto?"

A faint glower flitted over the blonde's face. "Holding onto four of my tails, fully prepared to rip them off if I try anything...funny...with you. He's still convinced a broken arm makes you defenseless. Naive brat."

"I don't want your healing," Sasuke said coldly. This was Kakashi's fault. Putting ideas into Naruto's head, playing with his guilt so the fox had a perfect excuse to take control. The meddling bastard never did know when to mind his own business.

"You let Iruka heal you."

"Of course. He's a skilled healer. You aren't. I won't have you experimenting on me."

The fox grinned evilly, "Really? You didn't mind me 'experimenting' on you the other night."

Sasuke's eye ticked. He still didn't know how much of that encounter had been Naruto and how much was the fox. He suspected the bite at the end was the fox. It reminded him of the kiss on the roof, turning something pleasant into something threatening the second he started reciprocating too much. Naruto's fox clearly fancied himself a predator, unwilling to allow anything that undermined his dominance. Sasuke had little patience for that sort of thing. Weak people did that, throwing their weight around, trying to prove to the world, and thus to themselves, that they weren't as weak as they feared they were. He had fought people like that. They tended to talk big and then blubber when they found themselves outmatched. It was pathetic.

"Besides, even with your side healed, you're still in no condition to hold me off for long. I'll wear you down until you're too exhausted to fight. Then I'll heal your arm," that toothy grin again, "and then I'll do whatever I want. Don't forget, I've already 'pinned' you once. That's three you owe me. If I pin you again, I'll take my sweet time collecting."

Sasuke's teeth clenched at the taunting threat. He glared, fully prepared to remind him that those 'pinning' terms were between him and Naruto, only because neither of them had demanded anything outrageous. He had spent the last two days incapacitated because of the fox's 'pin.' As far as he was concerned he didn't owe him anything. He was about to say as much when the fox grimaced and jumped a little. As if he had just been stabbed in the ass. Had Sasuke been in a better mood, he might have snorted aloud. It appeared Naruto had made good on his threat to rip off some of those tails. He wondered if the fox healed as well inside Naruto's head as he did when he was in control of his body.

"Fine," the fox muttered, in a resentful sulking tone. He glared at Sasuke. "We'll call it even on account of what I did to your side since you weren't using talents and it wasn't an official match. This time. The next time we fight, it will be a real fight, and when I win-" He cut himself off with a vicious growl. His head jerked to the side, as if there was someone standing right behind him. When he turned around again, his eyes were more blue than red.

Sasuke made a mistake then. He correctly took the blue to mean Naruto was as much in control as the fox now. Unfortunately he forgot that, like the fox, Naruto was determined to heal his arm. He relaxed just enough to let the blonde get within grabbing distance. It wasn't until Naruto moved, and they hit the floor, that he recognized the cheap trick for exactly what it was. Distract him with the insane fox so the even more insane blonde could get the jump on him.

He kicked him off and rolled so he had the upper hand, activating the sharingan at the same time. Naruto had latched onto his broken arm, hands squeezing tight enough to rebreak it a few dozen times, those tipped claws cutting through his sleeve and pricking his skin. Sasuke gritted his teeth and did his best to strangle the moron with his left hand. "You idiot! Are you trying to heal it or shatter it?"

"Both!" Naruto choked out. His face was turning an interesting purplish red. It matched his eyes.

Sasuke added a sharp knee to the stomach, more intent on making Naruto hurt as much as his arm was hurting than in trying to break his hold. He was already reinforcing his arm as much as he could, enough so those claws were breaking instead of sinking deeper into his skin. There was no way he would get those hands off without losing the arm in the process. Unless he took Naruto's arms off first. He considered that. It wouldn't be hard. Naruto did have a stunning lack of defense. He let go of Naruto's neck, held his hand out flat, sent a portion of his energy into it, and then hit him in the elbow. The blow was more of a stab than a punch. Naruto let out a sharp whine of pain. Good. His arm was hurting enough to make him dizzy and that with the sharingan numbing his nerves as much as possible. The absolute moron! Healing wasn't supposed to hurt more than the injury itself.

"Stop it!" Sasuke hissed. He didn't want to take Naruto's arms off. For one thing, Iruka had just told them not to cause each other serious injury. For another, he would never get the blood stains out of the floor. "You're making it worse!"

Naruto's energy flared a boiling red, "I'm trying not to! If you'd just be still-"

A punch to the face shut him up nicely. For all of six seconds.

"Damn it, Sasuke! Will you just-"

"No!" Sasuke yelled. He had been trying to keep quiet so Iruka wouldn't come back. Now he didn't care anymore. The higher Naruto's energy flared, the more his arm hurt. In fact, it was burning now.

He sent a wild look at it and felt himself panic. The cloth on his arm was smoldering. His own energy seemed to be evaporating as it came into contact with that fiery red. The sharingan faltered for a split second and all of the pain went straight to his head. Then it was gone, turned off entirely, along with the panic and any consideration for who was doing this to him. His survival instinct took over, as cool and merciless as ever. It only took one hit. Those eyes flashed blue, painfully wide with shock. The grip on his arm disappeared. Then those eyes turned red, as deadly as his own. He was already moving back when Kyuubi lashed out at him. He dodged, automatically shielding so the claws didn't penetrate his ribs. He rolled, came to his feet with his back to the wall, already prepared for the next attack and close enough to the window to escape if it was something he couldn't counter in this enclosed space.

The attack never came. Instead, there was a mocking, breathless growl. Sasuke stared at the bloody boy, recognition slowly creeping back into his mind. Naruto. Propped on one elbow, clawed hand closed tight over the gaping hole in his stomach that was roughly the size of his own fist. His eyes dropped slowly, taking in the red that stained his left arm up to the elbow. He had done that.

"That settles it," the fox muttered, in that pained but clearly amused voice. "He won't underestimate you again. Ever. Stupid brat has no tolerance for pain. He never did." He pulled his claw away, revealing wet pink flesh that was slowly being covered by creamy skin. "How's that arm?" he drawled, red eyes dancing at Sasuke. "Better, right? Just think, if you hadn't put up such a fuss we could have done this without you almost killing the brat."

Sasuke's gaze slipped over to his right arm. He flexed the hand. The skin felt tight, as if it had been singed or sunburned. That was all. The scratches on his chest hurt more than his arm. He lifted blank eyes. "I'm sorry."

"You should be."

"Naruto?"

"A little shaken. He's got this thing about blood, though right now he's more worried about yours than his," and the fox sneered. "Selfless little brat."

"Will you be all right?"

"Of course. A quick nap and I'll be as good as new. I have much more stamina than you."

Sasuke nodded absently. He went to the desk and pushed the texts aside with his right hand. His notebook wasn't there. He crouched, checking the floor, behind the desk, under the bed, no sign of it. Giving it up for lost, he crossed to the closet. At least his bag was where he had left it.

"What are you doing?"

"Leaving."

The fox stared at him, snorting, and then breaking into full laughter. "Because you attacked Naruto?"

"I intended to kill him."

That seemed to amuse the fox even more, "Then you're not as good as I thought you were."

There was nothing to say to that. He retrieved his knife and slipped it into his right sleeve, then turned for the window. He wasn't about to go downstairs covered in blood, most of it Naruto's. He would wash it off with the hose outside.

"You're wasting your time," the fox scoffed. "You know we'll track you down and bring you back. Again."

"Don't."

"No choice. He likes you."

"Then he's stupid."

Another sharp laugh, "Tell him that."

Sasuke turned to stare at the blonde. Those eyes were red, but Naruto was still in there. "I just did."

"Fine," the fox scoffed. He shoved off the floor, not sparing a glance at the smear of blood his hand left. "Run off. He's already throwing a fit. Bad enough you tried to kill him without hurting his feelings on top of it. I didn't take you for a coward." He shrugged, waving a clawed hand, "I'll see you after I've had my nap, either way. Right now I have to change and wash up. Too much blood to make him do it."

He watched him leave the room. Then he took the window. Washing off with the hose was a nice icy distraction. He inspected the cuts on his chest. Flesh wounds with the potential of being deadly. That was reassuring. It was nice to know the fox had his own survival instincts, even if Naruto didn't. He changed with the spare clothing from his bag, wadding the damp shirt and keeping it out of habit. Then he went to sit on one of the rocks. Naruto's rocks. He stared at the trees over the top of his folded hands. The fox needed to work on his guilt tripping skills. Killing him or hurting his feelings? There was no comparison. But he did make a good point. Naruto would follow him because Naruto was stubborn and had no sense of self-preservation in that blonde head of his. Sasuke would be wasting his time. He considered the alternatives.

He was still considering them when Kakashi poked his head out the back door and called him inside. Sasuke sighed and went in.

Kakashi's nose crinkled as he slipped past him, "You're bleeding again?"

"Don't ask," Sasuke muttered.

Kakashi didn't.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Iruka flinched when the door of his office opened. He didn't look up to watch Kakashi slip inside, didn't let a hint of his distress into his voice as he continued negotiating with the man on the other end of the line, but he did give a rather spectacular blush, judging from the heat radiating off his face. He would get a deadbolt for that door before the day was out, he swore he would.

"I don't care about the paperwork," he said into the telephone. "That's not an issue. If they want to have a probation officer here do periodic checks on him, I'm more than willing to cooperate. Whatever it takes to-"

"We're talking years," the man on the other end reminded him, sounding peevish and put upon.

Iruka's eyes narrowed and for the moment he successfully pushed all thoughts of Kakashi out of his head, "I wouldn't have contacted you if I weren't prepared to make a commitment. I know every aspect of his case. I've personally spoken to three of the psychiatrists who examined him. None of them saw any reason to deny my request. Even if something should happen, you wouldn't be held at all accountable."

"I'm his legal guardian-"

"Appointed by the state," Iruka snapped. "Temporary custody pending trial. It didn't go to trial. It never will. You're hedging. What do you want?" The response was immediate and cold. He knew now why the man had refused to give Kurenai his answer. She would have exploded, thereby ending any negotiations. Iruka felt his stomach churn at the sum. It never ceased to amaze him how utterly disgusting people could be where mutants were concerned. "That's too much. He won't come into anything until he's seventeen."

"I can wait."

"He has to agree to it," Iruka reminded him. "I can't promise anything that's not mine to-"

"He already has. What you have to do is cosign it."

Iruka gave a hollow nod. He should have expected that. It had been about the money from the start. Much more money than he would ever be able to give if the boy decided not to make good on his promise once he came of age. Sickening. "When?"

"Monday."

"I need to speak with him first," Iruka started. Not surprisingly, he was immediately cut off.

"The two of you can speak as much as you want once he's yours."

He didn't wait for the click as the connection was broken. He hung up the phone, one hand already rubbing his temple. A moment passed, stretching longer and quieter, until he sighed. Still, he didn't look up.

"Now isn't a good time," Iruka muttered.

"I gathered," Kakashi drawled. "So you don't just taken in and rescue children, you buy them as well?"

Iruka snapped him a sharp glare, "There are extenuating circumstances. It isn't-"

"Nevermind," waved Kakashi. "It's none of my business how you choose to populate your little house of mutants. I'm much more interested in continuing our previous discussion."

The blush came back, mindless to his own dark mood, along with the thought that they hadn't actually been 'discussing' anything when he had bolted earlier. Damn the man for being so persistent. He couldn't deal with all of this. Too much was happening so quickly he felt ragged and stretched and it was no wonder he had snapped and made a fool of himself, tossing aside all the rationalizations he had spent half the morning settling on.

Kakashi had snagged him the second he left Sasuke's room, catching hold of his wrist and all but dragging him down the hall and into his own bedroom. Iruka had naturally jumped to the wrong conclusion. The fact that Kakashi's first move, after pushing Iruka toward the center of his room and blocking the door and thus the escape route, was to take off his shirt, hadn't dissuaded Iruka's first assumption. He had gone bright red with anger as well as embarrassment, fully prepared to physically hurt the man if he tried anything. And then he had seen the bandages on Kakashi's chest. He had calmed down considerably after that, enough so that he had listened patiently to Kakashi's side of the recent 'sparring' event that had left both him and Sasuke injured.

Well, he supposed there had been some discussion involved. He had certainly been alarmed to learn that Kyuubi was now somehow capable of assuming full control of Naruto. That should have kept him sufficiently distracted from the muscular and rather attractive chest he had been running his hands over. His blush burned darker, almost painfully so, until he wondered desperately if he might suffer a brain aneurysm and not have to look at Kakashi for the rest of his life.

Iruka dropped his head into his hands, relishing in how cool they were against his face. "I can't apologize enough," he mumbled into his wrists. "It was a slip, momentary insanity, it will never happen again, please go away."

"But I want it to happen again," Kakashi grinned.

He was enjoying Iruka's mortification almost as much as he had enjoyed the surprisingly violent response he had gotten earlier. He had conned Iruka into his room with solid intentions. Put him on guard with the location and the privacy, calm and distract him with the wound and the startling information, lure him with the sexiness that was Hatake Kakashi's bare heated skin, and then steal a few kisses before the skittish teacher-type came to his senses. He had been happily surprised to find himself shoved up against his own bedroom door the moment he leaned down to steal one of those kisses. He had barely touched Iruka's lips and then his head was striking the door, a tongue was in his mouth, hands digging into his freshly healed chest, and a very interested body pushing hard against his own. And here he had thought he was the one getting frustrated from going without.

"When is the last time you got laid?" asked Kakashi.

A low groan filtered from around Iruka's wrists, "Please go away..."

"I'm concerned, is all. So much frustration can drive a man crazy. It's only natural that you'd snap, and the next person to kiss you might not be strong enough to survive your...rather lusty response."

Iruka's head snapped up, "Kakashi-" He was alarmed to find him standing right beside him, mask pulled down, one arm braced on the edge of his desk, the other curled comfortably on the back of his chair. He hadn't heard him move. How could have gotten so close in a matter of seconds? Why did he wear that mask when he had such a handsome face? "Kakashi..."

"You're fit to explode," Kakashi drawled, slowly, very aware of the way Iruka's eyes latched onto his lips, "and not just in the sexual sense. Think of how good it will feel to have some relief from at least part of what's stressing you."

"I'm not doing this." Iruka was surprised how firmly that came out. He felt as if he were a few seconds shy of lunging for that mouth and to hell with the consequences. "It will complicate things."

"How?"

"Naruto," said Iruka. He could feel the part of him that wanted to tackle Kakashi to floor and ravage him slinking back like a whipped dog.

Kakashi's lips pulled into a strange smile, "Naruto. The Naruto who has been in Sasuke's bedroom every night since I caught them making out on your roof? The Naruto whose fox all but gave me permission to do anything save force myself on you? You're worried about being judged by that Naruto? I didn't think he was that much of a hypocrite."

"That's different," Iruka said, and it sounded weak even to him. Were they having sex already? They couldn't be. Sasuke was too damaged, Kyuubi too dangerous, and Naruto... He winced, turning his head away from Kakashi. Naruto was much older than he had been. He had no place criticizing him. But he didn't want to see him get hurt and if he left him to muddle through it on his own, he would get hurt. It was inevitable. It was part of growing up. "I'm the adult. I have responsibilities."

"Yes," Kakashi agreed, "you do have responsibilities. And one of them is to stay sane so you can handle the kids in your care. Losing your temper with a dog and beating yourself up over some teenage experimentation are not the actions of a calm and rational caretaker."

A wry smile tugged at Iruka's mouth, though he kept his face averted so Kakashi wouldn't see. "You really think sexual frustration is the cause of my stress?"

"No, I think relieving your sexual frustration will ease enough of your stress so you can handle the rest without losing it."

Iruka turned a slow look on the man still leaning over his chair. He arched an eyebrow, his expression one of amused disdain. "You're hardly the only one offering his services to me. What makes you think I'd choose to relieve my frustration with you?"

"Because you like my nipples."

Iruka choked, snorted, sputtered for a second, and then broke into laughter. It felt good to laugh so he didn't try to hold it back. Kakashi's expression was so matter of fact, as if that were the most logical reason in the world. And he was right.

"You have a nipple fetish," Kakashi stated, with a knowing smirk. "You couldn't keep your hands off them."

With a carefully serious tone, Iruka said, "I'd rather have had my mouth on them." One look at Kakashi's expression and he fell to snickering again. He looked so shocked. And eager.

"In that case-"

"No!" Iruka said quickly, throwing a hand out to catch Kakashi's wrist before he could tug his shirt up. He grinned at the blatant disappointment that flashed over his face. "I was kidding. Well, not really, but I didn't mean I would actually do it. Kakashi-san, while I do appreciate-"

Kakashi interrupted him with a sullen, "Just Kakashi. No one whose tongue has been in my mouth is allowed to call me 'san'. It's a rule."

The blush was back, along with the desperate need to stare at Kakashi's lips. Iruka fought them both. "Just while Naruto isn't around," he conceded. Then he took a breath and resumed where he had left off, "Kakashi, I do appreciate your stance. And it's fairly obvious that I am interested. There's no point denying that. But I don't have causal flings. I can't. Momentary relief isn't worth it. I'm sorry." More sorry for himself than for Kakashi, but Kakashi didn't need to know that.

"Define fling," Kakashi frowned. If it was just a matter of keeping in touch, well, he could handle that. It was interesting enough around here to excuse coming back once in a while.

"When are you leaving?" Iruka returned. "You could be gone tomorrow and anything that happens here after you're gone won't have any effect on you. I have to stay here. If Naruto gets upset, the issue of hypocrisy aside, then I'm the one who has to deal with it. If any of the other kids take offense, then it's on my head. I have to consider the consequences of my actions."

Kakashi dismissed all of that with a shake of his head. "It's still just Naruto. All it comes down to is that you need the permission of your kid to have sex with someone." Iruka scowled, and Kakashi raised a hand to forestall whatever he was about to say. "I get it. You want these brats to like you and you're afraid that if they find out you slept with me, it'll ruin their good opinion of you."

"That's not-"

"So," Kakashi spoke over him, "all I have to do is get their permission. If they don't have a problem with it, you won't have one. Right?"

Iruka pursed his lips, a nasty resentment swelling up at how petty Kakashi made his reasoning sound. "What are you going to do, ask them if it's okay for you to sleep with me?"

"Yes."

It wasn't until Kakashi made it to the door of his office, mask pulled in place over a determined face, that Iruka realized he was dead serious. He bolted out of his chair, "Kakashi! Don't you dare!"

The telephone rang before he could make it out of the office and he turned on his heel. It could be an important call. And Kakashi couldn't really be serious. No one was that insane. He bit his lip and rushed to answer the phone. He would get rid of whoever it was as quickly as possible and then chase after Kakashi.

.-.

There was a nice finish on the floor that kept the blood from seeping into the wood. Sasuke had taken his damp shirt to the smeared handprint the moment he got back upstairs. It came out after a bit of scrubbing, even without soap or a proper brush. He was debating on what to do with the shirt when someone knocked on his door. He stuffed it back into his bag, stowing both in the closet. He would rinse it out later.

The knocks had been quiet enough that he was expecting to find Iruka standing there. He was naturally thrown to see Naruto instead. A sick tightness spread over his throat and he had to cough before he could speak. "Since when do you knock?"

"Can I come in?" Naruto asked quietly.

Sasuke's eyebrows jerked upward at the tone and the question. "Since when do you ask?" He stepped aside, watching him cross over to lean on the desk. He shut the door. Then he went over to sit on the edge of his bed. Naruto wasn't looking at him and he had no idea what he was supposed to say to him.

"I'm sorry," said Naruto.

That tightness came back, along with a pointless surge of anger. Sasuke glared at him. He was just standing there, arms folded, head down, a dejected look pulling his face. Why the hell was Naruto apologizing to him? Yes, Naruto was mostly to blame for what had happened. There was no doubt about that. He had refused and instead of accepting it, Naruto and that fox of his had tricked him and then forced the issue. His own fight or flight impulse wouldn't have been triggered if Naruto didn't always have to get his way, usually by throwing his weight around in a physical confrontation. He had considered all of that during his brief brooding session on the rock outside. But the fact remained that what Naruto had done wouldn't have killed him, hadn't even been meant to hurt him. What he had done should have killed Naruto.

"Don't apologize to me," Sasuke muttered. "You'll do it again and next time I will end up killing you. If you want to apologize to someone, apologize to Iruka for being suicidal enough to insist I stay here."

Naruto jerked upright, his eyes flashing, "It won't happen again."

There was no point arguing with him. Sasuke sufficed with a pointed stare.

"And you have to stay," Naruto said. "You don't have anywhere else to go. That's why you came here. Right...?"

"Yes," Sasuke admitted. Though that wasn't precisely true. He had everywhere to go. He could go anywhere except Japan. He just didn't have a place that would be waiting for him when he got there.

Naruto gave a slow nod. He came over to sit on the floor right in front of him. Sasuke stared down at him, a strange annoyance flickering onto his face. Naruto was sitting down there as if he were trying to make himself smaller. That dejected look was gone from his face, replaced by the stubborn determination he had come to expect from him. But there was a hesitance about him that Sasuke found incredibly insulting. Naruto was acting as if he might bolt if he got too close. Sasuke could only stand a few seconds of it before he snapped.

He leaned over to grab Naruto's arm and pulled him up. "Sit beside me, moron," he growled. "I'm not talking down at you."

Naruto scowled, fidgeting on the bed. "I'm trying not to push. The whole thing happened because I pushed, and I'm not gonna let it happen again. Not because of something I did."

"Why are you blaming yourself?" asked Sasuke. He blamed Naruto for instigating it, but that didn't absolve him of what he had done in return. He hadn't expected Naruto to accept that he was partly to blame, let alone try to take all of the blame. If anything, he had expected Naruto to be angry and resentful, holding a grudge, possibly guilt tripping him into standing down the next time they clashed. He shook his head, "I thought I hurt your feelings."

That got a sharp reaction from Naruto. He tensed up, his eyes flashing again, his features pulled into an angry frown. "Kyuubi lies. He lied about that and he lied to me about how much it would hurt you. He said it would only take a minute, that it wouldn't hurt any more than when it broke the first time, and then it would be fine. He really didn't know whether it would work at all. He was experimenting on you. But he told me he knew what he was doing. He's-" Naruto took a sharp breath, his face twisting tighter. "I don't know what to do about him," he admitted in a quiet voice. "It all sounded so reasonable, simple, quick, and now - now...I think half the reason he wanted to do it was so you'd react the way you did. To prove his point."

"What point?"

"That you're dangerous," Naruto frowned. His hand rubbed at the spot where he had been stabbed, and an uncomfortable blush started over his face. He dropped his eyes. "You scared the hell out of me. I thought I was dead, I really did. I've never felt anything like - I can't believe how much it hurt. And I couldn't believe that you did that. That I hurt you, or scared you, enough to make you do that. It was...well, I'm gonna have nightmares about that..."

He wasn't the only one, Sasuke thought morosely. "I'm sorry."

"No," Naruto said, "just..." He scooted further on the bed so he could turn to face him properly. "Why did you do it?"

Sasuke stared at the door across the way, debating on what explanation would suffice, and what exactly Naruto was asking. He frowned. "I didn't mean to."

"I know that," Naruto scoffed. "You looked like you didn't even know who I was afterward, or what you had done. I mean, what set you off? Because it hurt? Or...because you couldn't get free?"

Sasuke rounded with a pinched frown, "Does it matter which it was?"

"Yes," Naruto said sharply.

"Why?"

"Because he was the one hurting you and I was the one holding on." Naruto's face twisted, "And because I need to know what caused it so I can make sure it doesn't happen again."

"Naruto," Sasuke sighed, "it was both. It was the combination of the two and the fact that our energies aren't compatible. What you were doing was forcing your energy into my arm. You can't see energy, but I can show you what I mean." He activated his sharingan and lifted his right arm. He placed his hand a few inches above his wrist, "This is where my energy normally is unless I'm using it for something." He moved his hand upward past his elbow, the palm falling closer until it was almost touching his arm, right where the break had been. "This is where my energy is now, here, because yours...did something to mine. Mine isn't there anymore. Instead there's this," and he lifted his palm five inches above his arm, "orange stuff of yours sticking to me." His face pulled with distaste. "It's thicker than mine, I can't use it, it's not merging, it's just...there. The rest of my energy is compensating, but that orange is getting in the way."

"Kyuubi said that was to heal the break," Naruto said, in a small, uncertain voice. "Did he lie about that, too?"

"No," Sasuke frowned. "It healed the break. But in order to do that, it burned off my own energy at that spot. He probably did the same thing when he scratched me on the roof. Kakashi said he saw orange on the back of my neck. It was minor and it only took a second, so with everything else going on, I didn't notice. This, I felt." He dropped his arms and his eyes. "The second it burned off enough of my energy to heal the break, the sharingan faltered and I felt everything. I panicked."

"Then it really hurt..."

Sasuke grimaced, "I could have handled it if it hadn't lasted so long. You're too stubborn." He sent a seething look at Naruto, "I was very close to cutting off your arm to get free. If you ever try that again, that's the first thing I'll do. Then you won't have to worry about me snapping and killing you. You'll bleed to death before you have the chance to push me that far."

"That's reassuring," Naruto snorted, glowering right back. "You know, I admit it's my fault for pushing, but you're just as stubborn as I am. When you say no to something it's like, there's no point arguing about it, forget compromising or talking it out. If I didn't push, I'd never get my way about anything with you."

"That's because your way is usually wrong," Sasuke sniffed, "just like it was this time."

Naruto gaped in disbelief, "Do you know how conceited that is? You're not always right."

"When have I been wrong?" There was a long minute of silence, during which Sasuke allowed a faint smirk onto his face. Then Naruto jumped, literally shaking the bed and almost hitting him in the face with his pointing finger.

"The bathroom!" said Naruto. "I said if you went in alone you'd pass out and bleed to death on the floor and you passed out just like I said. If I hadn't been there you would at least have ended up sleeping on the floor a few hours, even if you had managed to bandage yourself before you passed out."

Sasuke didn't bother to respond. He was still convinced that fighting Naruto over the bathroom door had complicated his injury more than patching it up himself would have. For all he knew, he wouldn't have passed out at all if he hadn't participated in a wrestling match over the door when his side was still bleeding freely. Instead of pointing that out, and getting into another argument about which neither of them would concede, he let out a long sigh. He waved a hand at Naruto's stomach. "Can I see?"

Naruto's eyes widened, a surprised and pleased look taking over his face. As if he hadn't expected him to care about whether the wound had healed completely. Sasuke again wondered what sort of impression he was giving people. Iruka had been surprised that he would show gratitude. Naruto was surprised that he would show concern. Did he really come off as being that cold?

"It's completely healed," said Naruto. He pulled his shirt up, running the fingers of one hand over the spot. "It doesn't hurt or anything. You can't even tell anything happened. Except Kyuubi's deader than I've ever seen him. I kicked him around a little after I calmed down, for lying to me like that, and he didn't even flick a tail at me. He didn't even make it back to my room after washing up." He frowned suddenly, "And he was exaggerating about that, you know. I'm not so afraid of blood that I can't even clean myself up on my own. I don't like blood, especially having other people's blood on me, but I'm not afraid of it."

"Okay," said Sasuke. As if he actually believed that. Kyuubi wasn't the only one who lied about things. He would believe that Naruto wasn't afraid of blood the moment he started believing he really hadn't hurt Naruto's feelings when he had tried to leave earlier.

"Can I see yours?"

For a second he had no idea what Naruto was talking about. When he realized, he was bombarded with memories of the bathroom patch-up session, the sparring rule about injuries, and the very humiliating moment in Kakashi's room when he had removed his shirt. He couldn't help the nasty glare that claimed his face. It was instinctive. "Mine?"

"Where Kyuubi scratched you," Naruto frowned.

"It's fine. I shielded when he did it, and I was already moving out of range."

Naruto's eyes narrowed, "If you say it's fine, that means it's pretty bad. Don't bother denying it. I had blood under my fingernails, Sasuke. Your blood."

There was no logical reason why that statement should strike him as an accusation, let alone make him feel guilty. It did both and Sasuke didn't appreciate it one bit. Arms folding over his chest, as much to keep his shirt on as to prove it didn't hurt, he glowered. "You're not healing it. It doesn't have any of your orange on it and I'd like to keep it that way. I'm not having Iruka do it, either. He'd want to know how it happened and I have no intention of mentioning this to him."

With a begrudging nod, Naruto sighed. "He'd throw a fit. But I still wanna see it. Kyuubi did that and I want it to be the first memory of mine he sees when he wakes up."

Sasuke's upper lip curled, "Why? So he can gloat?"

"No," Naruto scowled, "so he'll know exactly why I'm not speaking to him."

He didn't like having to stand up for Naruto's fox. It left a bad taste in his mouth. Unfortunately it seemed Naruto hadn't learned anything from their messed up encounter after all. Sasuke stared at him, "He was defending himself, defending you. I was trying to kill you. Did you forget?"

"Of course not. That's not what I meant. He lied to me. I got your blood on my hands because he lied to me."

He wondered which bothered Naruto more, the blood or the lie. But he thought he already knew. "Why does blood upset you so much?"

Naruto dropped his eyes and fidgeted with the blanket.

"Nevermind," said Sasuke. "It's none of my business."

"No," Naruto muttered, still staring at the blanket, "it is. It really is. Kyuubi is...dangerous. Can be, anyway. When I was little something happened and he woke up to defend me. He killed people." He looked up quickly, though he didn't quite look at Sasuke. "I don't remember any of that. He went back to sleep after that, for a few years. When he woke up again we didn't get along. At all. We fought a lot and his talents were really iffy. Anyway, we were arguing and it got out of hand and Iruka-sensei was there and...we scratched him. It wasn't a serious injury, I mean, he healed himself, and it was an accident, but it was...disturbing. It got on me and it was warm and I did that. Kyuubi and I did. I think that's why. It's not blood, it's other people's blood, especially people I care about. Iruka-sensei says it might have to do with those people Kyuubi killed, but I think it was him, what we did to him. It shouldn't have happened. Like this shouldn't have happened."

"What did they do to you? The people Kyuubi killed."

"I don't know. He doesn't remember, either."

Sasuke really doubted that. One of them was lying. He suspected it was the fox. "If we fight each other seriously, you'll get my blood on you eventually. Can you handle that?"

"It's different in a fight," said Naruto. "Besides, you'll probably have more of mine than I will of yours." And he made a sour expression to show just what he thought of that.

"Not probably," Sasuke smirked, "definitely."

"Conceited..." Naruto let out a soft snort, then tilted his head. "So. Can I see?"

"Not right now," said Sasuke. Naruto's lips pulled into a pout, and he leaned over, pressing a soft kiss on them. "I'm sorry."

Blue eyes widened, confused at first, then sad, "Yeah, me, too. Are we okay, then?"

"I guess." He leaned over for another kiss. This time Naruto met him halfway. He thought if he were anyone else, he would have hugged Naruto rather than kiss him, maybe run his hands over his hair. Well, he could still pet his hair. It was thick and soft, and there was nothing awkward about that. Naruto hugged him instead, warm and tight. He did his best not to tense up too much. This wasn't like being hugged out of sympathy or pity, it was just Naruto. And the fox was comatose.

He pressed into Naruto's embrace, trailing a kiss along his jaw until he could murmur directly into his ear, "Are you the one who bit me the other night?" He swore he could feel Naruto's blush heat against his cheek. He certainly felt him give a little jump.

Naruto mumbled guiltily, "It was kinda both of us..."

"Don't bite me this time," he said, and then nuzzled his neck, feeling his way along. Naruto tilted his head to give him better access. He didn't abuse the trust with nips of teeth, which he still equated to threat, though he did taste him liberally. Naruto's heart was racing, he could feel the pulse under his tongue, very much alive, none the worse physically for what had happened.

Hands clutched at the small of his back, fingers unerringly slipping under the hem of his shirt to rub his skin. He shivered, almost scowling at the ticklish sensation. He had an idea that if he glanced up right now, he would find Naruto smirking at him. He didn't glance up. He pulled back instead, pushing on Naruto's chest. He was impressed by how easily Naruto let himself fall back on the bed. Those tickling fingers slid free to find new purchase on his shoulders, and then in his hair. It wasn't until he pushed up Naruto's shirt and bent to place a light kiss on his unblemished stomach, that Naruto protested. And it was more of a choked gasp than an outright complaint.

"Sasuke!" Naruto yelped quietly. He pushed himself up on his elbow, a startled, panicky blush taking over his face. This was a little too close to one of his favorite fantasies. Or rather, not quite close enough. There was no way Sasuke was working his way down to that, and he thought the disappointment might kill him. That hot tongue flicked out, swirling his navel, dipping in, and that was all he could take. His voice hitched up to embarrassing soprano levels, "Sasuke, stop..."

It never occurred to Sasuke that Naruto didn't really want him to stop. He pulled away immediately, rising and scooting back so there was no contact between them at all, save those hands still buried in his hair. Now embarrassment slipped onto his face, along with a small dose of guilt. He supposed he would have reacted the same way as Naruto, if not worse. What he had been doing was more intimate than anything they had done so far, and he certainly hadn't gotten permission to do it. Was he going to have to apologize to him again?

He sighed, not quite looking at Naruto. "No good?"

Naruto shook his head violently, "Too good." Almost enough to require him to change his clothing a second time this afternoon. He scrambled to his knees and pulled Sasuke to him. He couldn't get him to meet his eyes, but he did meet his lips in a kiss that was every bit as unabashed and arousing as what he had been doing to his skin. Suddenly the idea that Sasuke might do that didn't seem so impossible, not wishful fantasy, but something he could actually look forward to. Just the possibility made him groan and push deeper into Sasuke's mouth. Arms curled around him, pulling him closer still.

Those hands slipped under Sasuke's shirt again, this time pressing too hard to tickle. He could almost see the way they were digging into his skin. Not that he minded, considering he wasn't exactly being gentle to Naruto's back. Naruto was kissing him, pressing into him as if he couldn't get close enough. Intoxicating, feverish, and he suddenly understood why Naruto had asked him to stop. Much more of this and it would be acutely painful to have to stop. He was almost relieved when they were interrupted by a strident knocking at his door.

Sasuke pushed away first, straightening his clothes and licking his lips. His lips felt swollen, tender. He hoped it wasn't visible. Naruto looked disheveled enough for the both of them. He paused for a moment to appreciate the healthy flush on the blonde's frustrated face. "Here," he said, amused, and he leaned down to tug Naruto's shirt back into place. Naruto gave him a faint glower as thanks, then flitted from the bed to the chair, as if anyone knocking would be fooled into believing he'd gotten that aroused flush simply from talking.

He was glad he had taken the moment to straighten himself up. Iruka was at the door, looking harried and worried, but happily too distracted to notice that both of them were more peaked than usual. He nodded at Sasuke and barely spared a glance for Naruto.

"There's a telephone call for you," said Iruka. "He said it was an emergency. You can take it in my office," and he turned to lead the way.

Sasuke was completely thrown, enough so that he stood frozen in the doorway until Naruto dropped a hand on his shoulder. He jumped at the contact. Then he sent a quick wincing look at Naruto, not quite an apology, but as close as he could manage. He shook his head and followed Iruka down the hall. No one who knew him should have this number. Iruka let him into his office, shutting the door behind him. Sasuke was glad he had. Naruto might have followed and pressed his way in to eavesdrop if Sasuke were the one who had tried to close the door in his face.

He lifted the phone with a cold wariness that didn't show in his voice, "Hello?"

"The sharks are circling the lifeboat," a fuzzy voice whispered eerily.

A beat, and then Sasuke's eyebrow twitched. "What?"

"The crows are coming home to roost."

"Who is this?" Sasuke demanded, annoyance breaking over his face.

"Damn, you're thick," the voice exclaimed, that fuzziness exchanged for a familiar twang and a good dose of exasperation. When he spoke again, it was in very clear and clipped words, "Itachi has left Japan."

He went cold, numb, and then came confusion and exasperation of his own. Why was he warning him? "When?"

"Not sure. No one has seen him for a month now, Kisame, either. There have been a lot of people looking for him lately. I wasn't sure he had left until one of his regulars got knocked off last week."

"Why are you telling me?" asked Sasuke.

"'Cause we're friends! Thought you'd like a little heads up."

He wasn't at all amused by the conniving, almost playful tone. "We're not friends, Suigetsu."

"Oh, come on," came the wheedling response, "you're not still holding a grudge over that, are you? It was four years ago!"

Sasuke's eye twitched again, "You stabbed me in the back."

"Only 'cause you'd have killed me if I tried attacking head on!"

"While I was asleep."

"'Cause I'd never have gotten behind you if you'd been awake! Come on, it's not like I wanted to do it. What was I supposed to say? Sorry, 'tachi, old buddy, but your little brother and me are friends, so I'm gonna have to say no, go ahead and kill me. Psh, I never liked you that much. Besides, it's not my fault you got trouble with water-based talents. I went easy on you. Hell, I even gave you CPR when you drowned, so-"

"How did you get this number?" Sasuke cut in.

There was a slight pause, long enough for a sly smirk, if Sasuke's guess was right, "Itachi's not the only one with connections, you know. I get around."

"Who?"

"Kabuto."

Sasuke's face twisted, "Who?"

"The doc," Suigetsu sighed, "the snake's pet. You have to remember him. Roman eyes and Russian fingers? The voyeur."

Now there was a face to go with the name. White hair, glasses, not much older than him, with the sort of talent Sasuke hated most. He had seen him more times than he cared to remember, most often after waking up in a hospital following an attack. He had seen him during the snake's attack, too, standing back, not participating, but watching everything with a vague smile. He hadn't been one of Itachi's. Sasuke's impression of him was that he had his own motives and was only working for others when it suited him. He actually reminded him of Kakashi, except Kakashi stuck to himself while Kabuto had been a flunky more often than not.

"Why would he have this number?" asked Sasuke. The cold deepened, while the numbness shifted to anger. Kabuto he could deal with. Unlike Itachi, he wasn't insane. He definitely wasn't untouchable.

"That's a good question," Suigetsu drawled. "Maybe you should ask him."

"Don't call here again."

"Come on, is that the thanks I get for-"

Sasuke hung up the phone, with slightly more force than necessary. He rather liked the sharp click it made. He left the office and wasn't surprised to find Naruto hovering just outside. He gave him credit for not coming in.

"Anything wrong?" asked Naruto.

"An old acquaintance of mine," Sasuke said, settling on honesty with omissions rather than a lie. "I'm going for a walk. We have to mow the lawn when I get back, and Iruka wanted you to take the new kids around town. I'll meet you back here in a few hours."

Naruto's face pulled into a scowl, but he didn't comment on the antisocial behavior this time. Sasuke appreciated that, too. Their fight had some benefits if it made Naruto a bit more restrained.

"Good luck with your fox," said Sasuke.

"Yeah," Naruto sighed. "Have fun with your walk."

.-.

Shikamaru blinked bleary eyes at the door. The knocking was repeated, and then someone stepped in, outlined in light that was way too bright. He grimaced, ducking lower under the blanket.

"Sorry to bother you," Kakashi said cheerfully. "This will just take a minute of your time."

Shikamaru grunted and peered obligingly over the top of the covers.

"Is it all right with you if I have sex with Iruka?"

Bleary eyes narrowing, Shikamaru did a quick memory check. "Hovering guy with the pony-tail?"

"That's the one!"

"Yeah," Shikamaru sniffed. "Sure. Knock yourself out."

"Thank you very much," Kakashi beamed.

"No problem." He watched the weird guy all but skip out of the room, shutting the door politely and quietly behind him. Then he rolled over and went back to sleep.

.-.

Iruka hurried downstairs after seeing Sasuke to the phone. He was still trying to convince himself that Kakashi had been bluffing. It wasn't working very well. He was so frazzled that he actually collided with the man in question the moment he reached the hallway downstairs. Kakashi didn't mind, judging by the happy embrace and subsequent grope to the ass he greeted him with. Iruka bristled.

"Stop doing that!" Iruka huffed. "And about-"

There was a knock on the front door. Iruka gnashed his teeth at yet another distraction. He was going to have it out with Kakashi. He swore he was. If people would just leave him alone long enough to do it! He shoved his way out of Kakashi's clingy embrace and stalked to the door. There was enough frustrated anger blazing on his face that he expected to flashfry whoever was foolish enough to be standing on his doorstep. Thus, he was a bit confused by the blinding - literally - grin that met him.

"Hi! Thanks for having me! I am so happy to be here! Not that I minded where I was, but there just isn't sufficient room to exercise properly in a jail cell. It's no wonder the inmates are so cranky, they don't get nearly enough sunshine or calcium. I am determined to fit in better here, or else I will run fifty laps around this beautifully overgrown lawn of yours!"

Iruka blinked slowly. It was a boy. A very...exuberant boy with black hair in a bowl cut, blinding white teeth, scarily wide eyes, blocky black eyebrows, and a disturbing green jumpsuit that should have been illegal to wear in public. He barely resisted the urge to back up. "You are...?"

"Lee! I got arrested a few weeks ago for disturbing the peace. It turns out you are not supposed to climb public buildings. I don't know why, since it's not as if I hurt them in any way, but apparently that sort of action appears suicidal to some, so I attracted attention that I shouldn't have. They told you about that when they called, right? I expected them to come see you with me, but it seems they were in quite a hurry. They left skid marks when they peeled out. I do apologize for that! I don't know why they would be so rude, or why they were so skittish during the drive here. I am completely harmless, I can assure you! They just didn't have any place to send me and I am afraid my enthusiasm was making the other inmates feel inadequate. It was quite sad! I have never seen so many forlorn and excitable people in one place!"

The boy folded his hands behind his back, stood ramrod straight, and grinned, showing far too many perfectly white teeth. Iruka felt his stomach slip down a few inches, a very unsettling sensation. Then he smiled gently, "Please wait here a moment, Lee. I'll be right back."

"Certainly! I shall avail myself of the sunshine on your doorstep!"

Iruka nodded gratefully, easing the door shut on the boy. Then he turned on his heel and bellowed, "Naruto! Get down here now!"

"See?" Kakashi winced, poking an ear at the boom, and relieved that he had seen fit to soundproof Shikamaru's room. "Sexual relief would keep explosions like this to a minimum."

"Not one word," Iruka gritted through his teeth.

"Got it." Kakashi flashed a weak smile when Iruka flinched and looked close to hurting him. "That was two words, not one..."

Iruka's eyes narrowed dangerously. His hand flew up, pointing down the hall. "Kitchen. Stay there."

This time Kakashi obeyed silently. But he smirked the second his back was turned. There were bound to be kids in the kitchen. Kids whose permission he had yet to gain. Nice.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Sasuke had barely made it to his room when Iruka's bellow echoed up the stairs. He snagged his equipment and made a quick escape out the window. With his sunglasses firmly in place, he activated the sharingan, immediately scanning the yard for energy signatures. So it was that when he rounded the house he was nearly blinded by the cheerful beacon standing on the front steps. Tawny golden energy that burned in odd flaming spikes, the tips of which actually curved in his direction when the bearer spotted him. That was unnerving enough to stop him in his tracks. He had never seen energy react to a person like that.

"Hi!" the boy exclaimed. "I'm Lee! Do you live here, too?"

Too? Sasuke recalled the booming yell that had sent him fleeing from the house. One of Iruka's, then. He jerked his eyes away, having seen more than enough. That green was even worse than Naruto's orange. No one connected to Kabuto or Itachi would wear something like that. He would deal with this...person...later.

Lee blinked, his wide smile faltering for a just a second, and then waved at Sasuke's back. "Bye! It was nice meeting you!" He was still waving when the door opened and a blonde head poked out.

Naruto caught a glimpse of Sasuke, frowned after him, and then shook it off. Something was wrong. He could feel it in his gut, squirming, rolling, taking little rat-sized bites now and then. But prying and hovering was the same as pushing and he wasn't going to do that without a very good reason. He focused on the new kid. And then he grinned. No wonder Iruka had been out of sorts. This guy had even louder taste in clothes than he did. And his eyebrows. Wow. "Hey. Lee, right? Come on in. I'm Naruto."

"Thank you," Lee smiled. "It's nice to meet you!"

"Sorry about the welcome. I sort of forgot to tell Iruka-sensei you were coming." Naruto led him down the hall to the first empty room, the one set between Kiba's and Shikamaru's. "You can use this room. There are some other new kids here, too, right now. I was about to take them around town. You can come with and get your room set up later. Okay? You can leave your stuff in here now, though."

"Oh," Lee said quickly, "I have nothing to leave. I am accustomed to living off the land. That is much more difficult to do in large cities, particularly ones with peculiar laws. Is there a prohibition against running in the fields here? I was quite excited to see such fertile wilderness just waiting to be explored! The drive here was wonderfully enticing!"

"Running in the fields?" A wide grin spread across Naruto's face. "There's no ban on that. I do it all the time. Not sure what you mean about cities, though. What, are you from the country?"

"Yes," said Lee, and his expression became very sober. "It came time for me to spread my wings and explore the wide world on my own. Unfortunately, I have not done as well as I had hoped. I hadn't accounted for the laws and prohibitions and stunning lack of paying jobs for diligent young workers, such as myself."

"How old are you?" asked Naruto. He had been considering a summer job himself, but with Sasuke and the new kids, he was starting to think he would miss too much if he were out of the house all the time.

"I will be seventeen this year."

"Then you shouldn't have any problem getting work around here. Let Iruka-sensei know what you're interested in and he can set you up with something. Not that you have to," Naruto added quickly. "There's plenty of food and stuff here." He had that savings account Iruka had put aside for him if money ever became a problem around the house. It was supposed to be for when he 'left' to find a place of his own, but as far as he was concerned this was his own place. Iruka got quiet when he talked about him leaving, so he knew he didn't want him to go any more than he wanted to leave himself. "You'd only need to work if you wanted to save it up, or for spending money, stuff like that."

"I must work," Lee said fervently. "I am incomplete when I am not devoting myself wholeheartedly to a worthwhile endeavor."

Naruto's lips twitched, "Okay...if you say so." Whatever first impression Iruka had gotten when he had opened to the door to this kid, Naruto knew he was going to love the guy's work ethic.

As if conjured up by that thought, Iruka peeked into the room. "Lee. I'm sorry for being so abrupt earlier. You caught me off guard."

"Quite all right," Lee smiled. "I do that to people!"

"Ah," Iruka said, giving a weak smile in return. "If you'd come upstairs for a minute, I'd like to ask you a few questions."

"Certainly!" Lee turned a slightly less blinding smile on Naruto, "Will you be coming, too, Naruto-kun?"

Naruto hesitated, "You okay with that? He's probably gonna ask a lot of personal stuff."

"Oh, I have nothing to hide. Even the embarrassing mistakes I have made have only built up my inner strength. They should be shared so that others do not repeat them." And he gave a solemn nod, "You are more than welcome."

"Well, okay, then." Naruto grinned at Iruka, who was still looking as if he didn't know what to make of the kid. "Don't worry, Iruka-sensei. You're gonna like this one."

Iruka recovered his equilibrium quickly, "Of course I will. Come, let's talk in my office."

.-.

In retrospect, Kakashi considered himself lucky to have found the kitchen was not full of children when he entered. The girls would pose a problem to him, particularly Sakura. He was fairly sure he had been the only one to catch her "are they, you know" whisper up in the attic. That didn't necessarily mean she was a homophobe, but orientation could be an issue. He would save her for next to last, with Naruto taking up the rear. Kiba was the only one in the kitchen at the moment. Convenient. The kid was the earthy type, with his animal fetish, so he would be the second easiest to tackle.

"Ah," Kakashi sighed, entering the room with envious eyes shining at Akamaru, who was currently lounging on the floor beside Kiba's chair. "I envy dogs. They're so honest, following their instincts, not getting hung up on the little nicities that make people so difficult to deal with."

Five minutes later he knew he had him. Kiba stared at first, warily, surprised to find a supporter in him, and then the kid was nodding, and smiling, and eager to talk about how superior 'natural animals' were compared to humans with their hangups and petty grievances and language quirks.

"And it doesn't matter whose den smells better," Kiba was saying, leaning over the table toward Kakashi, who nodded solemnly. "As long as it's close to a food source, safe from predators, big enough to shelter the pups, that's all you need."

"They certainly wouldn't fuss over whether their neighbor has a scruffy stray for a mate," Kakashi drawled.

"Hell, no!" Kiba snorted. "Not unless they were planning to snag the bitch themselves."

Kakashi hummed thoughtfully. "But what about the pups? Say their dame went and hooked up with a mongrel they didn't much like. Would they throw a fit about that?"

"Well, maybe. Depends how old they are. If they're big enough they might try running him off, especially if they still remember their sire. 'Course, if they're that old, they'd probably be out looking for mates of their own by then. That's more a problem with cats than dogs, though. Some toms eat the litter if the kittens aren't his own. Dogs don't do that. If the dame's strong enough to raise the pups on her own, she'd run off any stray that tried to cross her."

"Eating the litter," Kakashi winced. "That's extreme..."

Kiba sniffed, "It's a cat thing."

"So canines are more accepting of their dame's preferences?"

"Most of the time they don't have a choice," Kiba shrugged. "If they could fend for themselves, they wouldn't be in the den. They're that old and still sticking around, then they just have to deal. The bitch is as likely to run off overgrown pups in favor of her new mate as she is to pick them over him."

Kakashi beamed. "That's very good to know. So, Kiba, as an overgrown pup who is still sticking around the den, would you say it's none of your business who your denmother decides to hook up with?"

"Huh?"

"I'm sorry," Kakashi drawled, leaning over to scratch behind Akamaru's ear, earning him a few thumps of his tail, "let me rephrase that." He straightened up and leveled a pleasant smile on the boy. "Iruka is in desperate need of a mate. I'm quite happy to oblige him, but there's still the issue of the pups, the litter. Would you say it's none of your business, or do I need to eat you?"

Kiba's eyes bulged, his skin going pasty white and then red from his neck up past his eyebrows. His jaw unhinged for a long moment before snapping shut. "The hell? W-" He pushed off from the table, staring at Kakashi as if he were insane. "Why the hell are you talking to me about - whatever you do with - that's got nothing to do with me!"

"None of your business?" Kakashi ventured, still smiling calmly.

"None!" Kiba blurted.

The poor kid looked a few seconds shy of bolting. Kakashi deduced that the earthy fellow was a virgin. He was reacting worse than Sasuke had the first time he had caught a glimpse of his illustrated porn. "I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable."

"Uncomfortable?" Kiba repeated in disbelief. "Shit, man..."

"Do you have a problem with homosexuality?"

"What?" If anything, Kiba looked even more exasperated. "No, I just - can't believe you're talking to me about - about your..."

"Sex life?"

"Yeah!"

"Well," Kakashi explained, "I don't actually have one at the moment. That's why I'm talking with you. Iruka is concerned that you might think badly of him if he were to-"

"It's none of my business," Kiba cut in, very quickly. "Seriously. What he does in private is his business, what you do is yours, and I don't want any part of it. Just - yeah, just keep me out of it..."

"Done." Kakashi stood with a pleased smile. "It was good talking to you."

Kiba watched him go. It was a long while before his face lost that pinched look. He didn't understand humans. What the hell could Iruka see in that guy? He was the kind of tom who would start eating off the litter first chance he got. And probably saunter off with a full stomach and a-

Akamaru cut in with a very firm reminder of the fact that Iruka was little brother, not little sister. Floppy ears not withstanding, he was as likely to be the one sauntering as Kakashi was. Sauntering and running the infertile bitch out the second he was done with her. No pups, no point keeping her around. Kiba couldn't help but snort. That did put a slightly different spin on things.

.-.

Iruka was glad he had taken time out to collect himself before speaking with Lee. The boy was actually quite endearing once one got past the gaudy and loud exterior. He had a hyperactive disorder, either compounded by his talents, or adding to them. He certainly wasn't insane. He had been raised in a small town, little more than a series of farms in southern China, with little human interaction aside from the mutant who had adopted him. Iruka suspected most of Lee's quirks had been picked up from him, a man with similar talents who Lee referred to reverently as his 'mentor in all things'. Iruka had little faith in this mentor of his, considering the man had all but ordered Lee to 'spread his wings and soar,' before abandoning him and disappearing on a 'world exploration' trip of his own. If he ever met up with the man in person, he was determined to have a long talk with him. The jail Lee had just come from was only the most recent in a long series of incarcerations that, frankly, made his head swim.

Disturbing the peace, trespassing, public intoxication, and that one was just plain upsetting, considering the alcohol had been given to him by an adult with undoubtedly ulterior motives. The poor boy hadn't even known what it was, and he still didn't remember what he had done under the influence, aside from destroying enough public property to get him held for two months in a local juvenile detention center. It was amazing he had survived so long, and rather depressing that no one had seen fit to take him in hand at some point. Lee didn't know any better, and he wouldn't, couldn't, until someone told him.

Things like this really hurt Iruka's faith in people as a whole. And it made him even more determined that what he was doing was worthwhile. They were slipping through the cracks. He couldn't catch them all, but he would certainly catch as many as he could.

Naruto, who had sat in silent awe during Lee's very honest description of his life, jumped off the couch when he was finished. Iruka could tell he was thinking along the same lines as him by the way his jaw set, and how determinedly cheerful his grin was. Naruto had led a sheltered life since he had adopted him. It was good for him to catch a glimpse of what it was like for those less fortunate.

"Let's look around town now," Naruto urged. "I'll introduce you to the others. You're not tired, right?"

"Oh, no," said Lee, that grin flashing over his face. "Getting to know one's environment is the first step to fitting in! I am eager to explore!"

"Well, there's not that much to see, but it'll keep us a few hours, anyway. Maybe we can all stop by the mall for lunch," and he ventured a quick look at Iruka.

"A light lunch," Iruka warned. Naruto was surprisingly frugal when it came to blowing money, with the one exception of meal time. The boy could easily eat twice his weight in fast food. "I want everyone back here by six. You didn't mow the lawn while I was gone."

Naruto's smile pulled into a wince, "I know. Sasuke reminded me. We'll get it done before dark, promise."

"Is that something I could help you with?" asked Lee.

He sounded as if he would actually enjoy that. Naruto waved him off, "No, it's a punishment. Wait until you get in trouble, then it'll be your turn to do it."

"Ah, I see."

Iruka followed them out into the hall. He caught Naruto before he could reach the stairs. "If you see Hinata at the mall, ask her to have Kurenai give me a call when she gets off."

"And wake you up?" Naruto grimaced. "She's working nights now, right?"

"It's important."

"Okay."

The boys headed for the kitchen, looking to round up the other kids. Iruka went to the livingroom with the same thing in mind. He stopped shy of the doorway. Kakashi was leaning against the wall just outside, looking as if he had been there for some time. Iruka's face pinched, a bristle working its way up his shoulders. He had almost forgotten about him. His mouth opened and Kakashi raised a finger for quiet.

"Take a peek in there," he murmured, jerking his head toward the doorway. "Cute little domestic scene going on with the supposed harpies."

Iruka's eyebrows shot up. He glanced into the room, stared for a short moment, and then pulled back with a hand over his mouth. He had been absolutely right about them. They bickered and picked at each other and seemed desperate to get as far away from each other as possible. And there they were, getting along as naturally as sisters. Sakura was sitting on the floor, a book opened in her lap. Ino was behind her, combing Sakura's hair and watching television over her shoulder. It was enough to make Iruka wish desperately for a camera.

In the livingroom, Ino shot a glower at the doorway and then rolled her eyes. And Kakashi had complained about her staring at him. At least she had the decency to do it openly. "Did you need something, Iruka?" she called.

Iruka gave a guilty jump, earning him a smirk from the lounging Kakashi. He came in with a weak smile. "Nothing in particular. Naruto's going to take anyone interested for a look around town now. If you'd rather stay here-"

"No way," Ino said quickly. She tossed the brush on the table, smoothing her long tail of hair, one hand sliding into her pocket. "You should get satellite. The daytime dramas they show here are absurd."

Sakura closed the book, an interesting but very overwritten series of journals Iruka had loaned to her. She turned in time to catch the strip of cloth Ino tossed at her. Her nose wrinkled when she used it for a headband. They had decided to cannibalize their stained clothing and the red cloth clashed horribly with her hair. She still didn't understand why Ino had been allowed to keep the clothing she had been taken in, while Sakura had been forced to wear the same hospital gray day after day. As it was, her hair was too short to tie back, a situation she intended to remedy as quickly as she could grow it out. She just knew Ino was going to say something about being blinded by the sun glinting off her forehead the second they were outside.

"This is very interesting," Sakura said to Iruka, as she set the book on the table.

Iruka gave a knowing smile, "But hard to wade through?"

"A little," she admitted. "I don't think it fits me. It's not an alternate personality so much as a duplicate. Louder and more honest," and blunt, "but still the same. It's just my own thoughts to me."

"And a monster to the rest of us," Ino scoffed.

Sakura favored her with a vindictive smile, "Stay out of my head and you won't have to worry about that."

"Oh, I'm not worried. I'd sooner go in the dog than back in there."

"I'll bet you would."

Iruka winced at the shift in that formerly peaceful atmosphere. He was relieved when Naruto came in from the dining room, Kiba and Lee close on his heels. Then Kiba caught his eye and unaccountably flushed dark red before looking away. Iruka felt himself stiffen. He managed to force a smile onto his face, nodding at Naruto, and then he turned on his heel, heading back to the hall and the masked man still leaning there. He didn't so much as look at him. He grabbed Kakashi's wrist and marched him to the stairs, his lips pressed into a frigid frown. He didn't let go until he had the quarry in his office and his back to the door, blocking any escape.

"Tell me you didn't," he hissed.

"Didn't what?" asked Kakashi. He blinked in innocent surprise at the venom wafting through the room.

Iruka's breath hitched with the strain of keeping his voice down. "Tell me you didn't ask Kiba's permission to fuck me."

The language came as a bit of a surprise, but Kakashi shrugged it off. "Of course I didn't. I simply asked how he felt about the idea of us getting to know each other better. He's quite taken with you, you know. I'd even say he's a bit protective toward you. He does not, however, believe it's any of his business who you choose to take an interest in. I expect he'll want the same consideration from you when he finds a girlfriend. Which might be sooner than he thinks. Girls tend to like the shy earthy types, especially ones with cute friendly dogs."

"I can't believe you talked to him about this." Iruka shook his head, anger, frustration, and a surprising amount of hurt twisting in his stomach until he felt sick. "I thought you wanted me to like you. Intentionally humiliating me is not the way to get on my good side! I barely know him and now he thinks I'm..."

"Human," said Kakashi. "An adult fully capable of doing what you like so long as it doesn't harm others. You're the adult here, as you pointed out yourself. The parent in this situation. When single parents take lovers, it's normal for them to worry that their kids won't like the partners they pick. So the considerate ones ask and test the waters. The inconsiderate ones say screw the kids and do what they want. You're considerate, you put them first and worry about how they'll feel about something that, most likely, won't have any effect on them, anyway. But your problem is that instead of asking, you assume the worst and abstain entirely. Do you really intend to turn down everyone you're interested in for the rest of your life on the off chance one of your kids will get upset?"

"It's my life," Iruka cried. "I was perfectly fine before you came and I'll be perfectly fine after you leave."

"Do you like playing the martyr? Oh, it's a noble enough idea, sacrifice personal happiness for the sake of the needy children. But all it comes down to is the old maid taking in the local strays. Sure, the cats appreciate it, but they'd appreciate it just the same whether she's living alone or entertaining guests seven nights a week. In fact, I'd wager they'd appreciate it more if she were having wild parties, considering she'd be happier, more likely to pet, and less likely to snap and kick. You've had your house open for, what, a week now? Already you're falling apart at the seams."

Because of you. The words pushed against the inside of his clenched teeth. Iruka didn't let them out. It wasn't entirely true, or fair. "Things have been happening," he said tightly. "It's been hectic lately. I'll cope until things settle down. If I do reach the breaking point, I have better ways to vent than screwing you."

Since Kakashi intended to do the screwing, he overlooked that statement. He sighed in honest pity, "Things aren't going to settle down, Iruka. They'll stay just as hectic as they have been, if not worse, so long as you're in charge of a house full of volatile teenagers. Normal teenagers would be hard enough for one person to handle. These are mutants, some of whom are individually capable of destroying this entire town if they had a mind to. There are seven of them now. You might have twenty by the end of the month. And every one of them will be looking to you for structure. It's not just a matter of comfort and shelter. They'll need rules, control, and you won't be able to control them if you aren't in control of yourself. You can't afford to flake. The second you do, it's going to fall apart."

"I know all of that," said Iruka. "Do you think I haven't considered how difficult this could be?"

"I think you've bitten off more than you can chew and you're so determined to do it the hard way by swallowing it dry that you're going to choke to death on it."

"What difference would that make to you? You're a blip. Here today, gone tomorrow. You won't be around to see it."

"Sasuke will be."

"Oh," Iruka erupted in disgust. "Don't you dare pretend this is about him!"

Kakashi's eye narrowed in a sly smile. "Why not? You're still pretending this is about Naruto."

"It is about him! It's about all of them!"

"No," Kakashi sighed. "It's about you."

Iruka tensed. Kakashi's voice was soft, almost gentle, but the way he stared at him was Bunchu all over again, as if he could see right through him. Kakashi advanced on him, and he took a quick step back, jumping when he struck the closed door. Hands came down on either side of him, pinning him in place. He wanted to push him away, but he didn't want to touch him at all. Kakashi was much too close, watching him with that knowing look and suddenly his mask seemed sinister. His hackles rose. "Stop it."

"Stop what?" drawled Kakashi.

He glared, "Trying to intimidate me."

"That's not what I'm doing."

"Well," Iruka said sarcastically, "if you're trying to seduce me you're doing a piss poor job of it."

"Not that, either. You might say I'm just trying to...dig a little." His thumb brushed the shell of Iruka's ear, sending him lurching as far to the side as he could get at the moment. The glare Iruka leveled on him was positively lethal. He rather liked that. "What happened to you? It doesn't sound like you had it that bad, taken in by Hiko, given a brother close enough to your own age to wreck havoc with. What are you trying to save them from?"

"Nothing," Iruka snapped. "Everything. As much as I can."

Kakashi stared at him until he started to get that edgy look in his eyes again. "Iruka?"

"...what?"

Kakashi smiled so that his eye crinkled, "You make an adorable crusader." He caught him up before he could decide whether to be confused or insulted, pulling him into smothering embrace. "Very cute."

Iruka quickly decided he would rather be insulted than confused. He bristled and squirmed, dearly regretting that he hadn't decked Kakashi the second he had cornered him against the door. "Let go."

"In a minute. You need cuddling. Or maybe that's coddling. Well, either way..." He squeezed him closer, nuzzling his masked nose against his neck. "Relax. I promise from now on I'll take my mask off before I put the moves on you. I'm still wearing it, see? This is absolutely innocent."

"There's nothing innocent about you," Iruka muttered. He didn't relax, but he did stop trying to get free.

"Such a mean thing to say..."

"The truth hurts."

"Yes, it does," Kakashi murmured, in a placating tone. He rubbed at the back of Iruka's neck, smoothing out some of the tensed muscles there. "Try not to hold that against me, eh?"

Iruka was suddenly grateful Kakashi couldn't see his face. Those were some very skilled fingers he had. He grimaced and kept any hint of that from his voice. "Too late. I've decided I don't like you. The sooner you leave here, the better. In fact, I'd be more than happy to drive you to the airport and buy you a ticket to wherever you'd like to go."

"I'll take you up on that." His fingers crept down Iruka's spine, pressing here and there, dragging out when he hit a particularly nasty knot. Iruka didn't make a sound, but he did lean into him more. "But not today."

"Tomorrow?"

"We'll see." He didn't have to sound quite so hopeful. Kakashi redoubled his efforts until Iruka's arms curled around him and he was all but hanging off him, so soft and relaxed he might have been sleeping on his feet. He would have to give him a real massage some time. Preferably sans clothing and inhibitions.

Iruka couldn't remember the last time he had felt so wrung out. Kakashi was far more manipulative than him. Or else he really was flaking. He couldn't keep up. What was he doing? He had dragged him up here to yell at him, not to snuggle with him. He pushed himself free and couldn't help being disappointed when Kakashi didn't try to hold on.

"I have things to do," he said, and immediately he wondered why he was excusing himself. Habit, maybe. "Please stop talking about this to the kids. I don't want to throw you out of my house."

"Alright," said Kakashi. He let himself out of the office and kindly chose not to point out that Iruka couldn't throw him out at this point. From what he had seen, Naruto and his fox wouldn't be able to, either. Now, if Sasuke happened to team up with the fox-pair, then they would be able to get him out of the house. But that wouldn't stop him from coming right back in while they slept off their injuries and exhaustion. He could be very tenacious when he set his sights on something.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Kiba was the first to notice. He had been dazing off, staring blankly in the direction of the entrance, listening to a thin commentary from Akamaru, who was exploring the parking lot, and blocking out the conversation going on around him. He wasn't interested in hearing about the kids Naruto went to school with, or listening to the girls scope out the teenagers seated at nearby tables, or watching Lee squirm with impatience as he took in everything they said. Kiba had seen and heard more than enough.

There were people here. Very few according to Naruto, who was used to big cities; the normal amount according to Sakura, who had grown up in towns just like this one; a huge number according to Lee, who had barely made it through the parking lot of the mall because he had never seen so many cars in one spot in his life. Most of those people knew Naruto. The ones his age didn't like him because he was a mutant. The adults condescended to him because he was a charity case, Iruka's case, and everyone liked Iruka. Naruto took it to be a matter of course and didn't understand why the girls were so outraged on his behalf. Lee was as confused as Naruto, asking constant questions about what was 'normal' and why. Kiba had long since decided that normal was whatever he became accustomed to. He didn't care what sort of attitudes people here had regarding mutants. All he wanted was to take off into the fields before Akamaru answered the call without him. Even a loyal partner like Akamaru couldn't be expected to sit around a stinking parking lot when there was all that fresh green just begging to be explored.

So he was staring off into the distance, feeling more antsy the further away Akamaru got. The images, their conversation, grew disjointed over distance. Akamaru was determined he should stay right where he was, with his own kind, whether he liked it or not. He wasn't comfortable. He should stay until he got comfortable, accustomed to it. Then he could revert to form and come play with him outside. If he left now, he would be running away. Kiba tried to explain that he was bored and disinterested, not scared or uncomfortable. Akamaru wasn't buying it.

The thready connection weakened suddenly, leaving him a faint image of the dog trotting after a figure across the street from the mall. Kiba blinked, focused on his surroundings, and was halfway out of his seat before he realized it. That was when he noticed. A soft click off to the left, scritching sounds of a pencil flying over paper, the sensation of being stared at, a sudden lull where there had been quiet murmurs a moment ago.

He glanced over at the mostly empty table next to theirs. Two people were seated there, a teenager with jagged reddish orange hair and a lopsided bandana, and an old man with wild gray hair and glasses slid to the tip of his nose. The boy was holding a small camera, the man a pencil, which sketched rapidly over the pad in front of him. Both were staring at them. The boy caught his stare and flashed a guileless smile before snapping another picture of their table. Kiba completed his interrupted rise. In a moment he was standing in front of the two, and looking down at a horribly vivid sketch of...a monster?

"Kiba?" Naruto called worriedly.

Sakura turned, looking over her shoulder, "What is it?"

Lee wasn't nearly as restrained. He hurried over to see what interesting sight had drawn Kiba's attention. The sketch caught his eye immediately. "Oh, that's very creative!"

"Thank you," the old man smiled. "Would you like to see yours?"

"Mine?"

"Of course." He flipped back two pages, turning the pad for Lee to see. "Your back was to me, so I couldn't get the eyes," he said, in a self-depreciating tone.

"That's me?" Lee asked doubtfully. The clothing was similar, but the hair was standing straight up in spikes, with swirling lines and rough marks surrounding the figure as if he were standing in the middle of a bonfire. There were ruins of a building surrounding him. And, as the man had said, the eyes were entirely in shadow.

"Mh," the man nodded. He smiled pleasantly at the others, pausing longest on Naruto. "Why don't you join us. We were just passing through and happened to notice the five of you. It isn't often we see so many mutants in one place."

"Is it that obvious?" Ino grimaced.

"How did you know?" asked Naruto.

"I didn't, actually. I was just sketching some of the locals." He flipped through the pad until he came to a normal scene that might have been drawn mere moments ago.

Naruto leaned over him quickly, pointing to one of the teenagers captured in the sketch. "That's Hinata!" He glanced at the others, "She's the one I told you about." Then he frowned suspiciously at the old man. "Why are you drawing pictures of people?"

"It's my hobby."

"And what's his," Kiba snorted, jerking his head at the orange-haired boy, "photography?"

"Sit down," the boy smirked back. "The ladies, too." He waved a hand at the seat closest to him and leered at Ino, "You can sit by me."

"Oh, goodie," Ino drawled. She did take the offered seat, though, if only to keep Sakura from being within groping range of the guy. She already knew what would happen. One grope and the guy's face would be embedded in the table. Then Sakura would spend the rest of the week beating herself up for letting that monster personality of hers get out of hand. She was so predictable. Her gaze flicked to Naruto, who was still staring at the sketch. "Do you get many mutants 'passing through' here?"

"Not until just lately," Naruto admitted. He immediately thought of the perverted stalker who had left him those photos. And he recalled what Kiba had said a moment ago. His eyes widened. "Photography?" He turned a furious glare on the orange-haired boy, eyes flicking from the camera to his face. "Was it you...? FS?"

"Um...don't think so." The boy glanced around the table, his smile faltering a hair. "The name's Lavi. Nice to meet you. This is Tiedoll."

"Why were you taking pictures of us?" demanded Kiba.

Sakura jumped, "He was what-?"

"Is that illegal?" Lee blinked worriedly. He could have sworn that was one of those nonsensical laws he had been told about during his travels. "You could get in trouble."

"There's no harm intended," said Lavi. "It's just record keeping. We like to keep track of any interesting mutants we encounter. So, with that in mind," and he grinned at Ino again, waggling the camera, "how about a close up? Your back was to me earlier. I could get a much better shot at this angle," and his eyes dipped appreciatively.

"Knock it off," Naruto scowled. "Pervert."

Ino quirked an eyebrow at having Naruto defend her virtue. He was rather cute when he got all protective. Especially considering the 'pervert' was a good foot taller and looked at least two years older.

The old man cleared his throat, earning him an apologetic wince from Lavi. He tapped his sketch pad pointedly. "I burn the sketches after I've finished them. You have my word they will never fall into the wrong hands."

As the man was staring directly at him, Naruto fidgeted. He suddenly wished Kyuubi was awake. "What do you mean?"

"This," and he turned the pad, flipping back to the first page. He gave no reaction to the way Naruto paled, or how curiously the other kids looked at the sketch. "This is my portrait of you."

"It's very creative," Lee said again.

Naruto barely heard him. His stomach churned at the image. It was as if someone had gone right into his head and photographed Kyuubi at his worst. The fox filled the page, tails fanning and writhing behind him, his teeth bared and dripping, smears marring his fur, crouching over a tiny shadowed body. The body and the expression were what hit him the hardest. If he had to pick one word to describe the Kyuubi portrayed here, it was 'evil'. Rabid. And his eyes kept going back to that body because the longer he looked at it, the more he was sure that was his body lying there. The thought of Kyuubi outside of him, evil, rabid, sent a shudder down his spine. He grabbed for the sketch.

"Easy!" Lavi said quickly, snatching the pad before Naruto could mutilate it. "This is past, not future. Calm down. Destroying it won't change anything."

"True," the old man stated. He retrieved the pad and slipped it into a faded bag. "As I said, I burn the sketches. I would do it immediately, but this isn't the place."

"It is illegal to start fires in public buildings," Lee nodded sagely.

"Precisely," the man smiled. "As for the photographs-"

"Yeah," Kiba glared. "About those. You going to burn those, too?"

"No way," Lavi grimaced. "These are for the record. We need these."' He slipped the camera into a pocket. "Besides, even if you got the film, it would just be blank for you. Only a few people get to see my photos," and he winked his right eye at Ino.

The two made to leave, the man tossing a tip on the table. Naruto lurched to his feet. "Wait!"

"We'll be in touch," said Tiedoll. "If necessary. Should things go well, you'll never hear from us again."

"Fat chance of that," Lavi scoffed.

"A thirty-three percent chance," Tiedoll corrected firmly. "Three possibilities, only two of which are dire. Do try to keep things in perspective." He turned to Naruto, catching his hand in both of his. "You are a wild card, young fellow. An unknown. The last thing I expected to find in this part of the world." He patted Naruto's hand. "Would that such as you can turn the tide. But I'm an optimist. Keep your head down, boy. Things will be better that way."

Naruto took two steps after them, "What are you talking about?"

"Nothing that need concern you," the man waved carelessly. "If you're lucky, it won't."

"What was that about?" Sakura asked quietly.

Ino frowned at Naruto, thinking of the sketch, "Are you a shape-shifter?"

With a dull shake of his head, Naruto went back to sit at their original table. He wanted to chase after the pair. But they were mutants. Without Kyuubi to help him track them, there was no telling if he would find them, or if they would be dangerous if he did find them. What did the kid mean by 'past not future'? Was that a sketch of the attack? When Kyuubi had killed people? If Kyuubi had been outside of him then, why had he gone back to sleep? What was to stop him from coming out again? How was Naruto going to keep control over Kyuubi if he were capable of manifesting outside of him? He already couldn't control him when he was only in his head. All he had to do was fall asleep or get distracted. Should he be scared? No, not yet. Worried, concerned, but not scared. He just needed to talk to Kyuubi. Kyuubi, who a glance found still curled where he had collapsed, as dead as Naruto had ever seen him. More than ever he wished he would wake up.

Sakura put a light hand on his shoulder. "Naruto? Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Naruto winced. "Um," he glanced at the others, "maybe we should talk about our talents." He didn't want to, oh, how he didn't want to. But after that sketch, they would demand an explanation. With that sketch they had already seen Kyuubi more vividly than even Iruka had. He was suddenly glad Sasuke hadn't come with them. He never wanted Sasuke to see Kyuubi depicted that way.

"So you're a shape-shifter?" asked Ino.

"No." Naruto frowned and shifted uncomfortably. "Nothing like that. I'm just-"

"I have to go," Kiba said suddenly. "There's something wrong with Akamaru."

Naruto jumped at the chance to postpone this confessional. "I'll come with you!"

"Then we're all going," Ino sighed. "So much for lunch."

Sakura scoffed at that, pushing on Ino's back to make her move faster. "You said you wouldn't eat the food here, anyway. Too fattening, remember?"

"Greasy, I said, not fattening. I have a wonderful metabolism, unlike some people."

"Whatever."

.-.

Sasuke ignored the dog for blocks before he began to get nervous. He was nearing the house now. That was the last possibility. He couldn't check the hospital, no matter how much he knew he should. He had tried. He hadn't made it any further than the front lot before he had caught himself panicking. Kabuto wouldn't be hiding in there, anyway. The whole point of the phone call was to let him know that the man was lurking about town somewhere. Ask him yourself? So Kabuto had to be waiting for him to do just that. He wouldn't be waiting in the one place he knew Sasuke couldn't step foot in. That left the house. And he didn't dare approach it with that dog following him.

He stopped in his tracks, turning a sharp glare on the dog. He had seen it in the kitchen when Kakashi had called him in earlier, sitting on the floor next to its apparent owner. Both boy and dog had wrinkled their noses at him, as if they could smell the blood he had washed off outside. He hadn't paid them any attention. Now he wished he had at least gotten the dog's name so he knew what to yell at it to drive it away.

"Get lost!" Sasuke snapped. He made a lunge at the dog, sending it scurrying back a few feet. The dog grinned at him, tail wagging, as if they were playing a very interesting game. How intelligent could it be? At least Pakkun understood threats. "Stop following me!"

The dog chuffed at him, front to the ground, butt in the air, tail wagging faster than ever. Sasuke's eyebrow twitched. This was not a mutant dog. It was a pet. He took a deep breath. Then he pointed at the sidewalk and said sternly, "Sit." It sat with a tongue-lolling smile. Sasuke nodded, "Stay." His eyebrows rose when it chuffed again as if it understood the order perfectly. "Good boy."

He crossed the street, the walled yard of the house looming ahead. The moment he stepped onto the sidewalk, he heard the dog trotting after him again. It was all he could do not to whip around and kick it. He didn't need this. He couldn't afford to be distracted like this. The hairs on the back of his neck were rising and he hadn't even stepped foot into the yard. He set the sharingan to combing the trees closest to the stone wall. "Stupid dog," he muttered under his breath. Then he ignored it the way he would a rat in an alley. If it got in the way and died, it was not his problem.

The house and yard looked the same as the last time he had been here. He didn't see any mutant energy signatures, not that he would have recognized Kabuto's if he did see it. He hadn't learned to read them until after he had met Kakashi. He stopped at the edge of the walkway, his hand falling to rest on the stone wall. Just once he wished his premonitions would be wrong. He didn't want go in there any more than he had the hospital. It wasn't as if he cared why Kabuto was here. But he knew if he didn't seek him out, Kabuto would come to him. He couldn't let him do that, not while he was staying in Iruka's house. His right hand curled slightly, ready to act if he was ambushed. He took a step onto the walk. There was a rush from behind him, and then that dog was in front of him, growling and blocking his way.

Sasuke hissed at the thing, his eyes flying over the dark windows of the house, watching for any movement. He started to dart past the dog and, as if reading his thoughts, the mutt started barking. His stomach twisted. So much for the element of surprise. He swore if he lived through this he was going to kill that bushy haired owner of the thing for not keeping it on a leash. This was a thousand times worse than Pakkun. A poof of smoke later, Sasuke decided the damn dog really could read his thoughts. Either that, or the whole dog species was out to get him.

Pakkun, who had been called by the very upset pup, took one sweeping look from the house, to the furious Akamaru, to the livid Sasuke, and quivered. "Oh, hell, no. You leave me out of this, pup." He butted his shoulder against Akamaru, who reacted by barking louder than ever, hopping as if to drive Sasuke back out of the yard. "Cut it out!" Pakkun growled. He sent a panicky, pleading, look at Sasuke. "Don't kill him. He's just a pup. Stop barking, you moron!" he hissed at Akamaru. "Do you want to get us both-" A tingle on the back of his left ear had him growling as well. He promptly turned and sent a whiplash of energy at Akamaru, forcing him back onto the sidewalk. The pup retaliated with confusion and anger, struggling to get back into a defensive position. Pakkun blocked him, his own instinctive growls drowning him out. Leave it to Sasuke to go looking for this one.

"You really are consorting with canines," Kabuto drawled. "I thought it was just a nasty rumor." He slipped out the door, eyes glinting over the two dogs and pausing on Pakkun in particular. His smile faltered. "It's been a while. How's Fay?"

Sasuke sent Pakkun a startled look, taking in his panicky shaking, and the way he was choking on his own growls. The other dog stopped barking. It crouched low to the ground, soft whines cutting through its growl. Kabuto continued to approach, sights set on the dogs, and Sasuke took a smooth step to the side to block his view.

"I don't suppose you'd mind waiting a moment?" Kabuto asked politely. He sighed when Sasuke took off his sunglasses. "I didn't think so. Well, then, right to the point. Have you seen your brother lately?"

"Why? How did you get the number?"

"Oh, we've had the number for a while now. We like to keep track of failed experiments." His pale eyes flicked past Sasuke to Pakkun again. "Some of them are easier to track than others."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "Leave him alone."

"Who?" asked Kabuto. "The dog? Or the one you're living with...?" He took a breath and held it calmly. Sasuke was in front of him suddenly, a knife edging into his neck. He stared down his nose at the boy. "Really, now. You don't think I came here alone, do you?"

"No," Sasuke spat. He had marked the one watching from the trees the moment Kabuto came out of the house. The distance was too far for an intervention. They both knew that.

"You don't want to be touching me," Kabuto reminded him.

"I want to kill you," Sasuke admitted. He had never been this close to him when he wasn't already incapacitated. So many times he had woken up to find this man touching him, healing him, and more than anything, watching him with the same vague smile he was wearing now. Voyeur. He wanted to kill him. "I've wanted to for years."

"But you won't. You only kill in self defense. I'm not threatening you. I never have. And so you really shouldn't be touching me." He flicked the fingers of his left hand and smiled when Sasuke couldn't get away from him fast enough. A thick waft of amputated orange energy curled about his hand before slowly dissipating.

Sasuke recoiled, clutching his right arm, barely resisting the urge to rub at it furiously. He hated him. Hated his talent. Despite all of the mutants he had encountered, he had never met anyone whose mere touch could make him feel so disgustingly filthy. His stomach was twisting, a sickening reminder of all the times he had been forced to endure this sensation at length. He wanted to kill him. He didn't need to touch him to do so. Kabuto's talents required contact, energy contact, if not physical. Sasuke didn't need self defense as a reason, either. Revenge was reason enough in his mind.

"You should be careful about things like this," Kabuto commented, as he flicked the remaining orange off his fingers. "Your brother would be very upset if he were to see you...tainted...with someone else's energy. He might decide to get rid of the source. Come to me if it happens again. I'll be more than happy to remove it for you."

"What do you mean?" Sasuke risked a glance at the figure watching from the trees. He hadn't moved. White hair, blank eyes, dark energy throwing more shadows over him than the foliage did. Kabuto had pulled a cloth from his shirt and was dabbing at the slice on his neck. The wound knitted itself closed in a throb of that energy he hated so much. Sasuke's mouth twisted at the sight.

"We're looking for Itachi. If you intend to stay here, he'll come to you or send someone to you. Naturally, the best way to find him is to keep an eye on you. Suigetsu did inform you that Itachi's followers in Japan have been murdered?" Kabuto paused to allow Sasuke some emotional response to that news. He wasn't surprised to get none. "You have lost to them in the past. You should know what sort of rogue it would take to wipe them out this easily. Someone capable of sending Itachi on the run?"

Sasuke showed no response. Inside, he scoffed at that. More likely Itachi had been the one to kill them off once they had lost their usefulness. Even if someone else had done the job, Itachi wouldn't have run. He would have stalked the one responsible and taken his talents or died trying. "You can't stay here."

"Or you'll kill me?" Kabuto gave a dismissive wave, his eyes glinting when Sasuke flinched at the flick of his razor sharp energy. They had never fought and likely never would. For very good reason. He didn't intend to die and he couldn't risk killing Itachi's little brother. Itachi was dangerous enough without that. "I'm not interfering with you. I'm not going to interfere with you, or with any of the mutants you're living with. As usual, I'll be spending most of my time in the hospital."

Sasuke shot another look at the trees.

Kabuto shrugged, "Insurance only, I assure you. He's here for Itachi. Orochimaru would like to see him dead."

"Is he here as well?"

"No," Kabuto said sharply. His expression tightened into something cold, taunting. "Itachi has already killed him once, thanks to you." Sasuke's suspicious look was confirmation enough. They had long suspected the sharingan was capable of altering memories as well as perception. There was no other explanation for the boy having survived Itachi's unique brand of 'strengthening' without losing his mind. After so many failed experiments, Itachi had finally done it right. And here he was, off limits. Kabuto forced his face to ease back into the vague smile he was known for. He had his orders. "We had Suigetsu call you so that you would have some warning. If Itachi sends someone in his place, we'd like you to leave him alive long enough for us to question him."

"No."

Of course, no. As if he would ever cooperate with them. As if he would risk his own life fighting with hopes of sparing his opponent. Anyone Itachi sent would expect him to fight all out. If he held back even a little, he would be killed. He wouldn't do that for anyone. Of course he wouldn't do it for Kabuto.

Kabuto let out a soft snort. "No, I didn't expect cooperation from you. And at the rate Itachi's followers are being slain across the world, I doubt he has any left to send who are capable of challenging you. He'll come himself. You'll be glad we're here when he does. Or maybe you won't be. You do have your own brand of loyalty." Sasuke sneered, but he waved it aside. "That isn't the only reason I wanted to meet with you. There's a new group going around. Testing and recording. And killing. They're looking for Itachi as well." He gave a small laugh. "Your brother is very popular these days. Like us, they know the best way to find him is through you. A word of advice, if I may?"

Sasuke tensed as the mutant in the trees finally came down. He was taller than he had looked, lanky, with an unnatural pallor. He was carrying a sheath, which he tossed at Sasuke's feet. Kabuto nodded, and the mutant turned back to lean against the nearest tree.

"Take it," said Kabuto. "You'll need it. And if you're invited to join, turn them down. Orochimaru has plans for them. Believe me, you don't want any part of that."

Akamaru barked suddenly. He gave one more growl and then took off down the sidewalk. Pakkun poofed out immediately, only having stayed to keep the fool pup from getting himself killed. The mutant by the tree shifted off, moving quickly enough to blur even Sasuke's eyes.

Kabuto turned for the house, with one more wave at the sword. "Be sure to take that with you. I don't think you'd appreciate having it delivered to you. And don't bother to come here again. I only picked this meeting spot because I know how you feel about hospitals." He paused, running a hand over the frame of the door and flicking a knowing look at Sasuke. "There's something sordid about this house. I'm sure Itachi will be drawn here as well."

That worried him more than anything Kabuto had implied. Bad enough to imagine being in that house with a normal psychopath. He didn't even want to consider being in there with Itachi. He snatched up the sword. No sense giving them a reason to come near Iruka's house. As much as he hated Kabuto, he knew the man wouldn't bother to lie. Dropping bits of the truth did far more damage. Just knowing Kabuto was in this town was going to drive him crazy. He didn't believe they would be able to do anything to Itachi, aside from make him even stronger once he had stolen whatever talents that rogue of Kabuto's had. But they might be useful to him, if they distracted Itachi long enough for him to get away. He hadn't met with Itachi in over two years. He wanted to keep it that way.

Sasuke spotted the cavalry coming and blocked them before they could cross the street. He ignored Naruto's worried greeting, marching past them so that they turned and followed him away from the house. He could feel Kabuto's rogue watching them from somewhere in that yard. The further away they were, the better.

"What did you do to Akamaru?" Kiba demanded. Minding his business when the kid had come into the kitchen reeking of Naruto's blood was one thing. He wouldn't let anyone mess with his partner. "Answer me! What did you do to him?"

"Nothing," said Sasuke. He didn't even glance around. "You can thank Pakkun for saving his life."

Akamaru sent Kiba a vivid image of a white-haired mutant, scented heavily of dirt and rot, as if it were a corpse come to life. Anger at something that shouldn't be, instinctive fear, his furious attempt to keep Sasuke from going any closer to it. Pakkun's intervention came as an afterthought, still tinged with Akamaru's confusion. He was supposed to protect people, not be protected himself. He didn't understand why Pakkun had driven him back. Kiba stopped in his tracks, turning a furious glare on the house, now more than a block in the distance.

Sasuke stopped, aware that the others were looking at the house as well. His teeth gnashed, "Leave it."

"Shut up," Kiba snapped, absentmindedly, his entire attention on the house and the images Akamaru had given him. "He's still there, isn't he?" Akamaru whined. "Two?" The other one hadn't scared him as much, but he had been the one to send Pakkun panicking. Akamaru felt that fear, even without knowing the reason for it. Kiba nodded thoughtfully. He couldn't communicate with Pakkun the way he could with normal animals. Akamaru respected Pakkun's judgement. That was enough for Kiba. "Bad stuff, then."

Ino huffed in annoyance at this one-sided conversation. She hadn't appreciated the way they had taken off running earlier, either. Her shoes were so loose on her feet she had almost fallen three times. The fact that Sakura was faster than her didn't make her mood any better. She turned her attention to Sasuke, who was much more interesting than participating in some Lassie reboot. He looked human today, not at all psychotic if one ignored the sword he was holding. That was hard to ignore considering how long the thing was, but she did her best. His sunglasses were very dated. She didn't think that brand had ever been in style. The rest of him, though...

Naruto jolted when Ino suddenly draped herself on Sasuke. His first instinct was to get ready to catch her when Sasuke flung her off violently. His second was to fling her off himself. "Hey!"

"I never had a chance to apologize for the other night," Ino sighed. Her fingers curled on his shirt as she leaned into him, not minding that he was as motionless as a statue. "We got off to such a bad start. I do hope you'll forgive me."

How the girl had gone from being terrified of him to hanging on him like one of those painted street women, Sasuke would never understand. It took every bit of his control not to lash out. He removed her with as little contact as possible, his expression one of comical distaste. "Don't do that."

Sakura assisted in the removal by shoving Ino away with all the violence Naruto had expected from Sasuke. It was enough to distract even Kiba, who was the only one to notice when Sasuke quietly edged away.

"What are you thinking?" Sakura exclaimed. "You can't do things like that!"

Flicking imaginary taint off the spot where Sakura had touched her, Ino sniffed, "The rule was no using talents. We never said anything about petting in public."

Sakura blushed bright red. "Shut up!"

"What the hell?" muttered Kiba. "Are you two fighting over him?"

"No!" yelped Sakura.

"Yes," Ino stated calmly.

"No way!" Naruto blurted. "I thought you were lesbians!" Three flabbergasted stares turned on him. He blushed redder than Sakura. "Well, after the bathroom..."

Ino raised an eyebrow. "You really are a pervert." She sniffed condescendingly at Sakura. "And you wanted to target him first. Hah!"

"Shut up!" Sakura hissed. "What's wrong with you?"

Kiba grimaced at the girls. "You're fighting over Naruto, too?"

Naruto started, "Over me? No way-"

"No!" Sakura cried, pulling at her hair. "Damn it, Ino. Why did you have to-"

"What is a lesbian?" asked Lee. He blinked in honest confusion when he was suddenly the center of attention.

"Wow," Kiba sighed. "That's just sad, man." He shook his head and frowned at the two girls. "You're wasting your time. They're both taken." Then he turned and went after Sasuke, determined to get more info on the strange mutants who had upset Akamaru.

"Yeah," Naruto blurted at the girls, blushing but firm. "Sasuke's mine. And I'm not interested." Kyuubi would have been, but they didn't need to know that. He gave a warning look at Ino, "Don't touch him again."

Ino huffed moodily as Naruto beat a hasty retreat. With her hands on her hips, she frowned at Sakura. "Now look what you did."

"Me?" Sakura demanded. "I can't believe you! You acted like a total slut!"

"There's a difference between being a slut and being forward about what you want."

"But you don't even want him. Either of them!"

Ino gave an exasperated sigh. "That's not the point. You're never going to learn how to-"

"Excuse me," Lee interrupted, his tone ever so polite. "What is a lesbian?"

Sakura blushed and flashed him a painful look. "Shouldn't you be following the other guys?"

"Oh," Lee said, "I would have. But there is a very powerful mutant watching from those trees over there." He pointed at the man, noting the way those pale eyes narrowed in response to his stare. "It would be wrong to leave you ladies alone without ascertaining that he poses no threat to your safety. So I have remained to see to it you return to Iruka-san's house unmolested. In the meantime, if you would be so kind as to explain this lesbian thing to me, perhaps I won't be left out of future conversations."

"Someone's watching us...?" Sakura whispered. She threw a startled look behind her. All she could see were heavy trees in the overgrown yard.

"Right," Ino said sharply, not sparing so much as a peek at whoever Lee was talking about. She caught Sakura's shoulder and prodded her in the direction the others had gone. The look she gave Lee was slightly more forgiving than the appalled stare she had gifted him with upon first sight of him. Clearly the boy wasn't as insane as his appearance suggested. "Lesbian is a slang term for a homosexual woman, a woman who prefers having sex with other women. Not to be confused with bisexuals, who enjoy both male and female partners."

Sakura blushed furiously, unable to look at either of them. She knew from their time trapped in the same body together that Ino spoke her mind regardless of things like modesty, or even decency. Being audience to it was still disturbing. And Lee was so sheltered. Ino was the last 'teacher' someone like him should be listening to.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

The sword was long, slender, unblemished. No hint of energy marred the surface, telling Sasuke that not only had it not been used on a mutant, it hadn't been touched by Kabuto, either. His energy was the sort to stick around. So his rogue must have been carrying it the entire time. For how long? And why? What reason could Kabuto have for wanting him armed with a sword?

Sasuke had never carried a weapon in Japan. Itachi had mostly 'trained' him to use his own body as the only weapon he needed. A focus of energy made a hand, an entire arm, as lethal as any blade. Naruto could attest to that. He hadn't even started carrying the knife until Kakashi had thrown it at him. Itachi had retrieved it from the alley, expecting him to return it to its rightful owner. Sasuke had never gotten around to that. As far as he knew, Kakashi didn't even realize the knife was the same one he had clipped him with on their first meeting. It was useful having a concealed weapon that didn't require talents, and thus the sharingan, to use. So Sasuke had kept it as a last resort, nothing more. A sword, though...that was a very specific weapon and, in his eyes, a limited one.

He was experimenting with it when Pakkun joined him in the field. He hadn't seen the dog upon his return to the house. Kiba had caught up, grilling him futilely on mutants he didn't need to know anything about. Sasuke had ignored him for the most part. He had been focused on trying to start the lawnmower. Kiba wouldn't answer his own questions about how to work the thing, so he had seen no reason to answer Kiba's questions. Not that he would have answered, anyway, since the less Kiba knew about Kabuto the better off he would be. Now, with Pakkun having poofed into existence a few yards from him, he wondered how Kiba's dog had summoned him earlier. If Pakkun could be called from a distance, he might actually be useful.

"How did you know to come, earlier?" asked Sasuke. His attention remained on the energy he was coaxing over the blade, but he heard Pakkun shift in the grass.

"The pup called me."

"How did you hear him? Because he's a dog? Him in particular? Or can anyone do that?"

"It's a dog thing," said Pakkun. "He's just louder than most when he gets upset. Probably 'cause of that boy he hangs out with. Rubs off on him. Little smarter than most, louder, kinda spoiled, come to think of it. I never expected him to drag me into a mess like that. What the hell was he doing there?"

"He followed me," Sasuke glowered. He sent a sidelong look at Pakkun. "Any reason he would think it was okay to follow me?" As he had expected, Pakkun's eyes bugged and the grass-shuffling grew louder.

"Ah, well, I might have mentioned how fun you are to play with. Eh-hem." His hind leg rose to scritch at his neck and he gave a mumbled, "Oops."

"Nice way to get him killed."

"Oops," Pakkun repeated sheepishly.

Sasuke focused the sharingan intently on the blade of the sword. Something was odd about the metal. It reacted to his energy in a way his threads and knife never had. He didn't have any talents that could change the structure of objects. He manipulated the energy coating the surface of the blade, not the blade itself. He had never fought a mutant who had that sort of talent. Or had he...?

"How do you know Kabuto?" Sasuke asked sharply. He turned to face the dog. "What did he mean when he called you a past experiment?"

Pakkun huffed, his head dropping soberly. "He wasn't talking about me."

"Fay? The one you called in to help Iruka and the others?"

"Yeah..."

"The one who made you what you are?"

Pakkun's head snapped up, "Don't spread that around."

"Explain."

"Fay did change me, but...before that..."

Sasuke set the sword aside. He crouched in front of the dog, everything in his demeanor sharp and demanding. "Just tell me how Kabuto is involved. Is Itachi involved as well?"

"No," Pakkun blurted. "I had no idea your brother was mixed up with them. I wasn't around when Fay was a kid. Only reason I knew about that guy - Kabuto's his name? - is 'cause I've seen him searching with those zombies of theirs. Usually, I see or smell him around and I know to switch out of the area fast. They've been looking for Fay since before I was born. All I knew about that Kabuto guy was he worked for Him, and no way was I gonna be caught." He took a few steps until he was looking right up at Sasuke. "What have they got to do with you, is my question. Here I thought that brother of yours was a loner type. Don't tell me he's taking orders from Him?"

"The snake? Orochimaru?" asked Sasuke. He had never been privy to the names of his attackers unless they had voluntarily introduced themselves. Apparently Suigetsu had known some of them, but he had never shared the information with him. From the wrinkled frown on Pakkun's face, the dog didn't recognize the name, either. "Long black hair, slit eyes, snake-talents."

"Hm," Pakkun rocked irritably, "I don't know. I've never seen Him up close. No telling what body he's in these days, or what name he's going by. Last I heard, he was in a body that let him mark people. That's how he was controlling the zombies, marking 'em and then just hopping enough to live in 'em for a while instead of eating them up and staying there. Probably the same guy, though, if it's the one that Kabuto's working for. I hear he's partial to dark-haired hosts." And he wrinkled his face again. "I'm surprised he didn't hop into that brother of yours. If he looks anything like you, he'd be just his type, especially with all the talents he's got."

"If it's the same person," Sasuke murmured. The only talent he had seen Orochimaru use was the snake one. That was how Suigetsu had referred to him as well, as the snake. "His talent is to switch bodies? At will?"

"When he was marking them it was. But he stopped doing that years back. Haven't seen any temp zombies since then. I figured he had to switch off again. When he's still getting used to a new body the only talents he has are the ones that host came with. Fay says it takes a while for him to adjust enough to use the talents from his old hosts. Some of em don't seem to transfer."

"And the experiments...?"

Pakkun looked away, shifting indecisively. "I didn't know those were still going on. There was a pair of twins in that warehouse who had definitely been...tampered with." His eyes flew up, angry, "But they weren't His type at all! Pale things. Gross rejects. Bad enough he's still making them without leaving them to get caught up in some lab. And they were still loyal to him." He growled. "Stupid kids..."

"The experiments," Sasuke pushed. He could hear Itachi's casual murmurs in the back of his head, failed experiments that had come before. With so many years of living day to day, he had never had the luxury to wonder why Itachi had been so determined to make a mutant. He had assumed that, as with everything else Itachi did, it was simply because he could.

"Looking for better hosts," Pakkun grumbled. "They don't last long. All the energy he brings with him eats 'em up and there's nothing left. Makes him too easy to kill when he first jumps, and then later when the host starts cracking." He snorted in derision. "Not that it matters when he can keep jumping forever. Problem is, even with all the mutants popping up, only a few can hold him more than a year or two."

"So he's making them," said Sasuke. "And it never occurred to you that I might be connected to this? You know I wasn't born a mutant."

"Yeah, but it just doesn't fit. From what Kakashi told me about your brother, I can't see him mixed up in this stuff. He's got that no bystanders rule, right? If this snake guy is who I think he is, the whole point is harvesting innocent bystanders."

"Itachi didn't always have that rule. He murdered a lot of...bystanders...to get to me." And was proclaimed a hero for saving his little brother from the unnatural blaze that consumed the evidence along with the building.

Pakkun hedged, not wanting to accept the obvious conclusion. "Still, you'd have known if He was involved. No way he would have left you free to roam all over the place where any rogue could take you out and make all that effort a total waste. Your brother's nuts, yeah, but he doesn't keep you locked up. And you sure haven't been brainwashed to obedience. It just doesn't make sense that He would invest so much into you only to sit back and let your brother take control."

"Either you overestimate this guy or you underestimate Itachi," said Sasuke.

"Maybe. The strongest mutant I know is terrified of Him. I know you're just as scared of your brother, but that's 'cause you've never seen him fight a mutant stronger than he is. Fay is much stronger than Him. I'm sure a lot of mutants are stronger than Him. Maybe your brother is stronger, too. It doesn't matter. The only way to get rid of Him is to kill every mutant in the world so there aren't any bodies left for him to jump into. I'm talking about a whole different kind of strength from what you know."

And Itachi had already killed him once. Kabuto's words made sense now. A lot of things made sense now. But what difference did it make? If what he suspected was true, it had been true all along. Finding out now wouldn't change anything.

"You okay?" asked Pakkun.

He didn't buy it. It was too neat. Nothing involving Itachi was ever neat.

"No," Sasuke said finally. "Go away." He retrieved the sword from the tall grass. Pakkun was looking at him strangely when he turned back. Sasuke flicked a hand dismissively, "Talk to me later."

"What kind of attitude is that?" Pakkun huffed. He grew stiff a moment later, a swift look over his shoulder confirming things. Even when Naruto wasn't letting off foxy vibes, his energy was very noisy. Odd that Sasuke had noticed before him, though. Naruto was too far away to be audible as he trotted in their direction. Pakkun wrinkled his nose. "I should have smelled him coming. Sweaty humans. Ick. You really do have bad taste in men."

.-.

Iruka had taken the car to go shopping. While he supported public transportation, he had too much to get to carry himself and he wasn't about to have Kakashi along with him. The sheer normality of buying groceries and supplies was a balm to his nerves. He had flaked, for no good reason, and repairing the damage took a bit of private time.

He was better than this. Now that he had time to think about it, he realized the last time he had come apart this badly was when he had set out for Japan, with nothing to keep his sleep safe and no one to lean on. He had survived that relatively intact. No, he hadn't just survived. He had learned from it. Half his childhood had been spent latching on to whoever was handy to keep him grounded. It wasn't until he had met Tenka that he realized it worked both ways. Having someone need him was as just as settling. When he had gone to Japan, he had found himself alone, no one needing him, no one to latch onto. He had panicked and rushed to find someone to fill either role, it didn't matter which. Indiscriminate and stupid. That mistake had led him to psychiatry, and, eventually, to Naruto.

It had seemed selfish the way he had latched onto Naruto. He had put off adopting him for months, afraid he was just taking advantage of the needy boy to fill his own need to be needed. That conflict had ended once he had found out more about Naruto, and about his own past. They had both lost their parents. The difference was Naruto's parents' entire existence had been erased, while his own had only been shrugged off and forgotten. Who had done it? Well, that was a matter of speculation. In his case it might well have been nothing more than a simple robbery. He could have wandered off and been picked up by someone who just happened to be leaving the country. He had no memories of it and no amount of hypnosis had brought them back. The fact remained that he had disappeared and the only relatives he had to search for him were his grandparents, who had never actually met him, anyway.

With Naruto, there was definitely something sickening at work, enough to make him glad Naruto didn't remember and Kyuubi wouldn't talk about it. A little boy with no past didn't just end up in the middle of a gang-style stand off by chance, especially not a little boy who just so happened to have a mutant personality capable of wiping out both sides of the confrontation in a matter of minutes. Someone had put him there to see what would happen. He was sure that if the violence hadn't attracted so much attention that same someone would have collected Naruto afterward to be used elsewhere. As if he were a weapon. And someone who would do that to one child would do it to others. After realizing this, his personal motivations for adopting Naruto hadn't mattered. He had been in the perfect position to help, so he had. And having done it once, he knew it could be done again and again. He might not be able to stop things like that from happening, but he could certainly help pick up the pieces when it did.

Iruka was a practical person. Despite his longing to save the world, as Naruto put it, he knew there were limits to what one person in his position could do. His murky background made it impossible for him to have any sort of political sway on people. He didn't have the offensive talents to rescue mutants the way Tenka did, and his healing talents were barely worth mentioning in a real crisis. What he had, and he had been startled to learn this, was a tendency to attract people. Children liked him, adults respected him, and he had studied enough psychiatry to understand the ones who didn't. The fact that he came across as being very normal, nonthreatening, and nice, made it easy to stay under the radar of the sort of people and organizations that Tenka targeted. He wasn't building an army, he wasn't leading a revolt, and anyone who met him would scoff at the very idea of him doing such a thing.

He was just giving back a touch of normalcy to an orphanage of misfits. They would benefit from it, the town liked the image it got from allowing it, and no one - should attention shift his way - would be able to complain about it. If his shelter also happened to put kids like Naruto out of reach, well, all the better. No one who met Naruto would see him as a threat and anyone attempting to paint him as such would be publicly scorned. Iruka would see to it. They were much too visible in this town to be erased.

In the end it still came down to his insatiable need to be needed, to be useful, to have a purpose. He didn't mind. He wasn't worried about being overwhelmed, the way Kakashi had insinuated. It was difficult relating to the kids on an individual basis when so many were coming in a rush, but he would catch up. The chances of Tenka leading him to another four at once were slim. Not to mention that most of them were old enough to take care of themselves if they found the house too chaotic to live in. There were other places in town they could go and still be in contact with their new friends. He doubted he would ever have to deal with a house full of teenagers trying to tear each other apart. He liked order too much to allow that. He would bend as well as he could, but he was fully prepared to put his foot down, even if it meant kicking out a teenager he had been hoping to help. He thrived off helping others, but he wouldn't stand being walked on.

By the time he had reached the pet section, realizing he had no idea what sort of food Akamaru would eat, he was feeling amused at his own behavior of late.

He had been so caught up with the kids, considering himself pulled in too many directions at once, that he had completely missed what was happening with Kakashi. He didn't want to fall back into the habit of leaning on someone. He was terrified of becoming dependent and then becoming indiscriminate in his rebound the second that person was taken away. Irrational, as silly as his fear of the open sky above his head when he walked across a parking lot. He wasn't about to become dependent on a drifter like Kakashi. Even with close friends like Hiko, he hated having to ask for favors, let alone feeling as if he needed the help. Besides, sexual intimacy did not equal automatic dependency. Kakashi's apparent promiscuity proved that quite nicely.

He had overreacted and with everything else going on, he hadn't even noticed what he was doing. That was actually embarrassing. He was supposed to know himself better than that, or else what was the point of devoting all that time to studying psychiatry? He had wanted to understand the way his mind worked, so he would never have to rely on someone else digging around in there to explain his actions to him. Now that he considered it calmly he knew he had reacted, overreacted, to a nonexistent threat. Kakashi had offered him a fling and he had responded as if he were being threatened with a forced marriage.

Not that he was suddenly eager to take him up on his offer. He had been celibate for years. His own reaction to Kakashi had shocked him mostly because he hadn't thought twice about remaining celibate indefinitely. He didn't like romantic attachments, didn't want them, and he had always considered his sex drive rather low. He had the occasional attractions, but no particular urge to act on them and suffer the complications that went with them. He supposed he had responded to Kakashi for exactly the reason Kakashi claimed, potential stress relief. Kakashi was handy, more than willing, and if he was as good as he claimed to be, then it would probably be great. He could use him and then throw him away, and Kakashi wouldn't complain a bit. He might have a few weeks of Naruto looking reproachfully at him as a result, but it would blow over. There was no real harm in it because Kakashi wouldn't stick around to rub it in Naruto's face and exacerbate the resentment. That didn't change the fact that he would only be doing it to relieve stress. He knew of far more interesting ways to do that.

He was debating over three brands of puppy food when he realized someone was hovering just behind him. His agoraphobia had never included fear of crowds or people, so he hadn't paid any attention to the other shoppers passing him in the aisle. He turned to the person, meaning to apologize for blocking the way for so long. The girl jumped back, her hand still raised. She had been about to tap his shoulder.

"Hinata."

"I'm sorry!" the girl blurted. She blushed, an embarrassed smile faltering on her face. "You didn't notice me..."

He wondered how long she had been standing behind him before mustering the nerve to try tapping his shoulder. "Sorry, I was distracted. You're not working today?"

Hinata glanced back to where she had left her cart at the mouth of the aisle, "I took off early to pick up some things for Kurenai-san. For the dinner party...?" When she turned back, her voice was a mere whisper, "You never called to say if you were coming..."

There was a hint of reproach in her eyes that Iruka took as a victory. She still had trouble raising her voice with him, but she had gotten better at meeting his gaze.

"I didn't know you were having a party," Iruka admitted. "I've missed quite a few messages. Is it soon?"

"Tonight." Hinata huffed, unconsciously mimicking Kurenai's pursed frown. "We were afraid you wouldn't be back in time. But Kurenai-san was hoping you'd come." She sent another quick look over her shoulder, as if afraid someone might overhear, before murmuring, "He's coming."

"Oh, really?" Iruka grinned at the girl's tone. "And Kurenai wanted me there to chaperone?"

"He bought her a bracelet," Hinata said solemnly. "Kurenai-san was very upset." And she dropped her head suddenly, hiding a smile behind her hand. "It has dangling pink and purple hearts on it..."

He laughed. He had warned Kurenai this would happen. She was the one who insisted they keep their relationship a secret until they were certain it would be a permanent thing. As if Hinata minded whether the two were married or not. As if the school board would care that two of the staff were seeing each other on the side. Asuma had approached it as a game, courting her with all the subtlety of a schoolboy with a secret crush. Anonymous boxes on her desk, gaudy pink affairs that left her fuming and rumors running rampant. Flower petals spilling on her when she opened the door, and how Asuma had gotten a key to her house she still didn't know. Now the charm bracelet she didn't dare wear in public. Iruka wondered if she had invited him because she was afraid Asuma would present her with an engagement ring out of a bubblegum machine if he caught her alone after dinner.

"I suppose I could stop by," said Iruka. "Though there are a few too many kids at my house right now to bring them with me."

"I met one," Hinata blurted. She shuffled her feet, "Sasuke..."

Iruka winced. "He's shy." Hinata shot him a look so skeptical it was almost bold for her, and he amended, "He's difficult." And the worst possible one of the new kids for Hinata to have met right off. Especially now that he was involved with Naruto. Not that Iruka had held any hopes of Hinata and Naruto getting together. Her crush on him was more hero worship than anything romantic. She idolized the way he was himself no matter how his classmates treated him, that he didn't seem nervous of any adults, even strangers, and the fact that he took her shyness in stride. Even Iruka had trouble not talking down at her when she was so nervous she appeared half her age. Naruto treated her the same no matter how clumsy or withdrawn she got.

"There are two girls living with me now," said Iruka. "I was hoping to ask Kurenai if she'd mind taking them shopping this weekend. It would be nice if you could go with them."

"I could do that..."

He wondered if he should ask Ino to go easy on her. Naruto said that Kyuubi 'smelled blood and went in for the kill' where Hinata was concerned. Ino had the same air about her. But Sakura would be there to temper her, and Kurenai certainly wouldn't stand for any nastiness in her presence. Besides, he rather thought Ino was protective of those she viewed as weaker than herself. He would let Kurenai handle it. She was bound to give him a full report if the girls gave her any trouble.

"I brought the car," Iruka said smartly. "Let me drive you home. I don't want to spoil the dinner later, but I do need to speak with Kurenai. If you're done shopping...?"

"I'm done." Hinata went to her cart and waited. "I just had to get fresh vegetables, mostly. Things that..." She bit her lip and for a moment her face was void of any expression, making her appear much older. She didn't look up when Iruka sighed.

Iruka hadn't wanted to tell her here, not in the middle of careless shoppers who would stare if she reacted strongly. "He said yes." He wasn't going to tell her the conditions. "I get him Monday. Do you want to come with me?"

"No!"

She flinched at how loudly she had spoken, covering her mouth and dropping her eyes. Iruka looked away to keep himself from reaching out to comfort or reassure her. This was where Naruto's attitude came in handy. Naruto wouldn't have been tempted to smother her just because she was upset. Iruka could barely look at her without his stomach twisting. The silence dragged on awkwardly. He waited, knowing she wouldn't meet his eyes for the rest of evening if he spoke first. Kurenai and yes, even Naruto, were much better at bolstering her self-confidence than he was.

"I'm sorry," Hinata murmured finally. "Thank you for asking. But, no, I couldn't do that. He won't want to see me."

"Alright," said Iruka. He didn't bother to lie and say she was wrong. He shouldn't have offered to bring her. "Let's get you home now. I'll have to drop my things off at the house afterward if I'm going to make it back in time for dinner. Maybe I'll bring someone along when I come back."

"Naruto?"

If only she didn't sound so hopeful. "Maybe, but he'll probably be busy with the new kids. They're all around the same age and you know how he likes to make new friends."

Hinata gave a wan smile, "He's very good at that..."

According to her he was. According to Naruto, he was awful at it. Iruka supposed it was a matter of opinion.

"I'll try to arrange something this weekend so you can meet them all," said Iruka. "I'd really like to have a picnic in the fields."

"I thought you wouldn't do that anymore, after the last one," Hinata remarked. She frowned, remembering the ants that had spoiled the entire outing. Iruka had been so angry he had sworn that was the last picnic he would attempt.

"Well," Iruka winced, "I might have overreacted. It was nice until I opened the basket and saw the food..."

"Ah..."

.-.

Naruto wasn't as sweaty as Pakkun had made out. He was flushed, though, and breathing heavily as if he had been running quite a bit. He squatted and leaned on his knees for a moment before letting out a deep breath. "That's the last time I let you mow first," he muttered. "The thing died on me five times!"

Considering how many times it had died on him, Sasuke didn't think much of that number. "Your point?"

"You left the blade down," Naruto grimaced. "I couldn't raise it or else my half wouldn't have matched what you did. Why did you do that? The grass was way too thick for that setting, you know."

"I didn't know the blade was adjustable."

"Oh." Naruto huffed, his face twisting into a frown. "That's too bad. I was gonna use that to pick a fight." He waved his hands when he caught Sasuke's expression, "Just as an excuse! Would have made things easier, is all."

"You want to fight me?" asked Sasuke. He could use a good fight at the moment. "I don't mind." He tossed the sword onto the grass and activated the sharingan.

Naruto recoiled, "Hold up! Not a real fight! Kyuubi's still sleeping, so I probably don't have the energy to give you a real fight. I just meant like a...little match real quick. You know, winner takes all? I want you to do something and there's no way you'll do it just because I asked, so I figured if we go without talents maybe I'll get a pin in and then you'll have to do it."

Sasuke wondered if Naruto realized pinning him in a match to get his way was the same as pushing him until he snapped and gave in. It all came down to the same thing, Naruto trying to force him into something he didn't want to do. Not that there was any chance of Naruto winning at the moment. Even Kakashi would have had a hard time with him if they fought right now. He let the sharingan fade away. "What do you want me to do? Ask before you start thinking up ways to force me into it."

"You'll say no, so there's no point just asking. Like, if I asked where you got that sword, you wouldn't tell me, right? You wouldn't even tell me your last name when I asked. You have this whole secretive thing where-"

"Kyuubi."

Naruto blinked, looking awkward. "I told you he's sleeping-"

"You didn't tell me about him," said Sasuke. "I told you about my talents long before you told me about yours."

"Yeah, okay, but you're still more secretive than-"

Sasuke interrupted him again, "I got the sword from a man named Kabuto. His talent involves energy manipulation. He can heal, but only by severing and reconfiguring a person's energy. He can disable a mutant with one touch if you aren't on guard against him. He has white hair that he wears pulled back in a tail, glasses, pale eyes. He said he'd be staying at the hospital here, most likely posing as a doctor. If you see him, or another mutant with white hair and pale eyes, keep your distance. Tell me if you spot him anywhere near the house, or if he attempts to talk to you."

For a long minute, Naruto gaped. Then his mouth closed with a click. He sunk down to sit in the grass. "What's your last name?"

"Uchiha," Sasuke grimaced. "I didn't intend to go by that name here. The school required me to give one, otherwise I wouldn't use it. There is only one person who goes by that name and it isn't me."

"Your brother...?"

This time Sasuke was the one taken aback. He recovered more quickly, a scowl taking over his face. "Kakashi." It wasn't a question.

"He said to ask you about your brother," Naruto admitted.

"And you thought I wouldn't tell you if you asked? Why? Kakashi knows. Iruka knows. It makes no difference to me who knows. He looks like me but older, taller, longer hair. If you see him, run away."

"Huh?"

Sasuke crouched in front of him, his tone dead serious. "If you hear someone mention the name Itachi, note the person who said it and stay away from them in the future. If you see someone who resembles me, run away. Do it quietly, tell your fox to shield his energy. Don't attract his attention. If he notices you, looks at you, go into a crowd and stay there. If you're cornered, agree to anything he says."

"Sasuke...?"

"He's insane," Sasuke said sharply. "He has the same talent as me," he gestured to his eyes, "sharingan. You'll know him the second you see him. There's no reason he should pay attention to you, you're too young," and inexperienced, "but if you do catch his eye, agree to anything he says." Naruto wasn't like Suigetsu. Even if Naruto agreed to attack him, he would do it from the front and Sasuke was sure he could put up a convincing fight without either of them dying. "There is no predicting what he might do. At best, he'll only want to talk at me. He does that sometimes. If he comes here, it will be to see me. You stay out of it. I'll take to the fields so no one in the house is caught in the mess. Just sit quiet and everything will be fine. I'll come back when it's over."

"Is he trying to kill you?" Naruto asked, his expression too blank to read. "Your own brother?"

"No. He doesn't want me dead. He's...training me." In Itachi's own warped way, that was true. "One of the talents he has copied is the ability to turn normal humans into mutants. He used it on me, gave me the sharingan with it, and now he's making sure I use it to copy other talents. He finds strong mutants and sends them after me so I can copy their talents. No one he sends will bother you. Just don't follow me if I suddenly leave the house." He could use the bubble to restrain Naruto if he had to, but only as a last resort. He certainly didn't want Naruto watching any of his fights. Whether he killed or lost they were always bloody. "I'll come back when it's over."

"How long?"

"What?"

Naruto leaned forward suddenly, his eyes flashing, "How long has this been going on, Sasuke? Kakashi said long before he met you - how long is that? You're my age!"

"I was six when he gave me the eyes. It took two years before I could use them. Then I ran."

"And you came here to get away from him-"

"No," Sasuke cut him off. "I came here because I was tired of running. It doesn't matter where I am. He sends someone or he comes himself. I win or I lose. Another month passes and it happens again. It's all the same." He rubbed a hand over his temple. He would much rather have been fighting than talking right now. All of this was sounding far too normal. Even if he considered the possibility that Itachi had 'made' him as a body for someone else to take over, that didn't stop the 'training' from sounding...repetitive and boring. Normal. He had never thought of his life as normal. He supposed after enough years of the same pattern repeating itself anyone would get used to it. "I'm not old enough to do anything right now. I'm physically incapable of using the strongest talents I've copied. I won't have the energy until I'm an adult. So I'm waiting. Here." And not just because this was a quiet convenient place to nab a bit of what he considered normal life. "I like it here..."

"I'll help you fight him," Naruto said fervently.

Sasuke couldn't stop himself from groaning. "You weren't listening to a word I said."

"Yes I was! We was...were..." Naruto blinked and frowned and muttered, "When did you wake up...?"

"Your fox?" asked Sasuke. "I want to talk to him."

Naruto blinked dazedly, still wearing that distant expression of his. "He can hear you, you know," he murmured to Sasuke. Then he scowled to himself, hissing, "Without taking over. I said no...!"

Although Sasuke was sure he would get more out of the fox if he waited for one of those late night visits, this was too urgent to wait. "His earliest memory, the attack on you when you said he first 'woke up' and killed people. Did he see anyone watching him? Someone who didn't fight, someone standing back and just watching, white hair, glasses, a vague smile, standing in the shadows watching the entire thing?"

"The doctor guy you got the sword from?" Naruto frowned. He stared at the weapon for a long moment, consulting with his fox. Then he shook his head, a sick look pulling his face. "He killed everyone who was there..."

"A black-haired man?" Sasuke prodded. "Snakes? Anyone who didn't seem upset by the thought of dying?" He still wasn't convinced that Pakkun's 'mutant creator' was Orochimaru. If he was, and if he hadn't sent Kabuto to spy on Kyuubi, maybe he had gone himself. "Did he see anyone or anything suspicious?"

Naruto squinted, leaning away resentfully. "Why are you asking this stuff? He killed people. A bunch of people. All at once and with a lot of gore. He didn't pick out faces or attitudes, he slaughtered them. And he liked it! Fox in a henhouse." He folded his arms tightly and looked away. "Those are his words, not mine. Fox in a henhouse. They weren't people, just feathers waiting to fly. He woke up, he went wild, he went back to sleep. That's it."

"I have killed people," said Sasuke. Naruto shot him a strange look. "I don't feel guilty for it. If someone attacks me, I defend myself."

"That's different! If your brother is sending mutants after you, then-"

"Not just them," Sasuke stated. "I was an eight year old alone on the streets. Some people like to attack children. I defended myself. How old were you?"

Naruto dropped his eyes, hugging himself again, "He didn't have to enjoy it so much..."

"There are some people I would enjoy killing." The voyeur's face immediately came to mind. He pushed it away. "I want you to stay close to me for the next few weeks. Don't go around town without me. If I leave the house for a while, stay inside until I get back."

"Huh?" Naruto started in confusion, paused, and then erupted, "No way! You better not be trying to protect me after you just got done saying I can't help you! That's bullshit!"

"You don't know who you're dealing with."

"Your insane brother?" Naruto scowled. "And some old doctor?" A beat, and then, "And a snake?"

Sasuke's eye twitched. "First, Kabuto is only a few years older than me. White hair, but young. He won't approach you." He believed that Kabuto intended to stay away from the house. "So as long as you leave him alone, you shouldn't have any trouble from him. Second, the 'snake' is not here. Kabuto is here on his behalf, looking for Itachi - my insane brother." He almost cringed at how carelessly Naruto referred to him. "Kabuto is here waiting for Itachi. Itachi, if he comes here, will be after me. None of this will involve you unless you attract attention to yourself."

"Right," scoffed Naruto. "Then why are you worried about me going out on my own?"

"Because there's a chance one of them will use you to get to me." Partially true. If Naruto was a 'failed experiment' then he should be useless to Kabuto except as a way to get him, and thus Itachi. Itachi, on the other hand, might be interested in Naruto's talent in and of itself. Just because Sasuke couldn't copy Naruto didn't mean Itachi couldn't. And Itachi killed the mutants he copied. "I don't want to be responsible for your death."

Naruto glowered at him, probably consulting with his fox. Sasuke waited him out. When the blonde suddenly straightened, he steeled himself.

"What do you think your brother is going to ask me?" Naruto's eyes were wide, almost frightened. "You said to agree to anything he says. What do you think he'd say to me?"

Sasuke sighed. He should have known Kyuubi would catch that. The fox didn't miss much. "He might ask you to attack me. He'll kill you if you refuse. Agree to do it." He raised his voice to override Naruto's immediate refusal, "He won't ask you to kill me. He doesn't want me dead. If he asks, it's either because he wants me to learn something by fighting you seriously, or because he wants me to stop trusting you. As long as you don't attack me from behind it won't be any different from us fighting because we choose to. I'll know the moment you attack that you're doing it because he told you to. I won't hold it against you."

"I won't do it," Naruto sniffed.

"He'll kill you if you don't."

"He'll try."

"And he'll succeed," Sasuke spat. "Trust me."

Naruto's face went blank, then he let out an amused snort.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "Tell your fox he does not want to meet my brother."

"What? How the hell did you know what he said?" Naruto gaped.

Sasuke snorted this time. "It was all over your face."

Naruto blinked and leaned toward him suspiciously, "Do you know what he said this time...?"

"Maybe," Sasuke sniffed. "Something about my brother looking like me?"

"Shit, that's freaky! How are you doing that?"

"I've been living with Kakashi," Sasuke reminded him.

"Yeah, well, Kyuubi is a lot worse than him." Naruto went quiet for a second and then blushed. "Do you know what he said-"

Sasuke cut him off, "I don't want to know what he just said."

"Probably not," Naruto grimaced.

"Do you still want to fight?" asked Sasuke.

"What? Oh! That's right! I've gotta pin you or you won't do what I want you to do!"

"I answered your questions."

Naruto nodded, "I know, but that wasn't what I was after. I want you to do something. It involves questions and getting secrets out in the open, but it's, well, you won't do it unless you have to."

"Try asking me," Sasuke glared.

"There's no point asking you because you'll say no."

"Then I'm not talking to you." Sasuke rose and retrieved the sword. Kakashi might be able to teach him how to use it. If nothing else, he could ask the new boy with the strange energy to spar with him. He made it six feet before Naruto grabbed his shoulder. He dropped and swept his feet out from under him without hesitation. He paused with his hand inches from Naruto's forehead, "Are you going to ask me, or should I make this a pin and force you to ask me?"

"I want you to play truth or dare with me and the new kids!" Naruto blurted.

"What?" He leaned back so Naruto could sit up. "What's that?"

"A game," Naruto muttered. "I know, you're antisocial and you don't want to hang out with the new kids and you're not the type to play games, and that's why I didn't want to ask because it's a given you'll say no, but I think I have to tell them about Kyuubi and I figured if you were there, too, it wouldn't be so bad, since you already know and even if they all look at me like I'm crazy, you wouldn't look at me like that, so-"

"What kind of game is it?" Sasuke interrupted, leaning away from the rambling blonde. "Does it involve fighting?"

"Erm, no...no fighting..." Naruto shot him a weird look. "It's where you sit in a circle and take turns asking each other questions. You either tell the truth, or take a dare. I guess the dares could involve fighting, if someone dared you to beat someone up or something. But the idea is to share so everyone knows about each other - talents and stuff. Kyuubi says Iruka will have to make a...disclosure rule with so many mutants in the house. I figure it's better to share because we want to than because we have to. The game would make it less uncomfortable since everyone will be telling secrets."

"That sounds dumb."

"I knew you'd say that. That's why I was gonna pin you so you'd have to play. Because I knew you'd say that."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, "Do you want me to really pin you this time?"

"Like you could! I wasn't expecting it a minute ago. There's no way you could do it when I'm expecting it."

"Really." Sasuke eased closer, brushing a hand over Naruto's shoulder. He smirked when the blonde froze and eyed him warily. "Can I kiss you?"

"Huh? What - I thought - yes!" Naruto jolted forward to catch him in a sudden embrace. "You don't have to ask me! I thought you wanted to fight, but if you're in the mood to-"

Sasuke muffled him with a light kiss. Like flicking a switch. Naruto pulled him tight, devouring his mouth in a heady kiss as if they were back in the bedroom and Iruka had never knocked on the door. For a brief moment, Sasuke toyed with the idea of distracting Naruto until he forgot that dumb game of his. No one would interrupt them out here. He pressed into Naruto, letting him take his weight as they eased down into the grass. Not being forced to stop meant they wouldn't stop until they wanted to. He did toy with the idea. Until he remembered it was daytime. And that they might not stop at all. He balked. He pulled back, gave Naruto a moment to blink hungrily at him, and then leaned down to kiss his neck. A few inches more and he whispered into his ear, "You're on your back. I'm touching you. Should I count this as a pin?"

Naruto's arms jerked around him, from anger or surprise. Then the blonde leaned forward to growl in his ear, "That's low. That's really low."

"Should I?" Sasuke taunted.

"I could roll us over," Naruto threatened, tightening his arms. "Would only take a second."

"Then we'd be even, with one pin each, negating each other's terms."

"I could bite you."

"What would that accomplish?" asked Sasuke.

"It would make me feel better..."

Sasuke snorted. "I'll play your dumb game."

Naruto's arms loosened, "What, really?"

"In a few minutes," Sasuke clarified. He turned his head, resting his cheek against Naruto's neck. "Just be still for a while."

"You like this?"

The surprise was evident in his voice. Sasuke sniffed. "I would if you'd be quiet." Silence answered him, but he had an idea Naruto was grinning. Well, let him grin. Naruto was the one who would have grass stains on the back of his clothes when they went into the house.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

When Naruto explained his idea to the others, their reactions varied. He recognized the way Kiba was staring at him, as if he wanted to mimic Sasuke's 'sounds dumb' remark. Sakura looked uncomfortable, Lee looked confused, and Ino looked downright rabid. Naruto had already begun to wince before the blonde opened her mouth to scoff at him.

"That's great!" Ino exclaimed. "And after show and tell is over, we can all trace our hands and make turkey pictures!" This time the silent looks were directed at her. She scowled at them, "Oh, come on. Turkeys. Thanksgiving? What, am I the only one here who had a normal childhood...?"

Kiba snorted, "Ask a stupid question..."

"Oh, shut up," she snapped at him.

"How do we play?" asked Lee. His enthusiasm was enough to bring a faint smile to Naruto's face, and to send Akamaru's tail wagging. "Is there a prize for the winner?"

"It's not that kind of game," Sakura told him. "The prize is having your question answered, or getting to make the person do something they'd never normally do."

"Oh! Have you played before?"

"No..."

"It's as old a game as spin the bottle and not nearly as rewarding," Ino scoffed. She immediately countered the criticism with a sly, "Athough it could be interesting if the dares are creative enough. No daring one of us to give you a blowjob, though. We have to draw the line somewhere." Her prim sniff countered the amusement in her eyes when Sakura promptly choked.

Lee perked up, "What's a-"

"I'll explain later," said Ino.

"Okay!"

Naruto fought to keep his blush to a minimum. Kyuubi was enjoying Ino's attitude a little too much and his comments were enough to completely sidetrack him. He sent a sidelong glance at Sasuke. They were all gathered in the livingroom since he thought the livingroom floor would make a good place for the circle. Sasuke hadn't deigned to leave the doorway. He was leaning there with his arms folded and a bored look on his face. His lack of reaction or interest pushed Naruto to get things rolling before he changed his mind.

"There are six of us," said Naruto, "so we can use a die and numbers to do the questions."

Ino looked surprised. "Who plays it that way?"

"I don't know," Naruto admitted. "Is there a better way to do it? This way we roll to see what number we are, then we go in order. If you roll your own number you go again. That way you don't get to pick who you ask the question of." All the better to keep himself from getting bombarded, though he had an idea Ino would be more interested in asking questions of Sasuke than him. He scowled at the odd reaction that thought garnered from Kyuubi. For a possessive fox, Kyuubi didn't seem too upset at the thought of the blonde girl crawling all over his boyfriend. Maybe because Kyuubi fancied himself somewhere in that threesome.

'It'll never happen,' he growled at the pervert. 'Even if it did, it would be me in there, not you!'

'You wouldn't be able to keep up with either of them,' Kyuubi said dismissively. He was tails deep in his own imaginings, not minding Naruto's annoyance. 'He's getting far too comfortable with you...'

'I want him comfortable with me,' Naruto reminded him. 'And what does that have to do with Ino?' Kyuubi's response was an explicit image of the two bound, defiled, and most importantly, humbled. Naruto didn't even realize he was choking to death until he felt Kiba's hand pounding on his back.

"Are you okay?" asked Sakura.

'We can do the flower, too, if you insist,' Kyuubi said magnanimously.

The image came before Naruto could block it. He continued to choke, mentally bitch-slapping Kyuubi as far into the back of his head as he could. At this rate he wouldn't be able to look anyone here in the eye without seeing them naked. His bleary eyes happened to land on Lee and he shuddered. He was suddenly very glad Iruka had gotten Kakashi out of the house for this. There was only so much mental scarring he could take.

"If you're done trying to swallow your own tongue, can we get this started?" Ino frowned when Naruto shot her a look and promptly choked some more. "What?" she snapped. "This was your bright idea."

"Give him a minute," said Sakura. "You've been making fun of him from the start, now you're eager to play?" Ino sent a smoldering look toward the boy leaning in the doorway. Sakura rolled her eyes.

"I'm okay," Naruto gasped. He wiped his eyes, wincing away from Kiba, who seemed to enjoy hitting him a little too much. A glance found his so-called boyfriend still watching from across the room. Would it kill him to show some concern? Or any emotion at all, for that matter? "I just had something in my throat," he said to Sakura. He was glad Kyuubi preferred fantasizing about Ino. Sakura was much too nice, when she wasn't being scary, to feature in one of the fox's sadistic bondage fantasies.

It didn't take long to get everyone arranged in a circle, a chessboard set in the middle for them to roll on. Naruto suggested they spend the first round introducing themselves. That way they could tell as much as they were willing to and save the questions for the private stuff they would rather not say. He was hoping at least one of them would have something to rival his own embarrassing secret. He rolled a three. If one of the first two offered up something bad enough, then he could just come right out with his own and, if he was lucky, brush over it as if it wasn't a big deal.

'It's not,' Kyuubi huffed. 'It won't be a big deal unless you make it one.'

'I'm playing this game,' Naruto reminded him. 'I'm the one who has to deal with it, not you. And before you go there, imagining them all in bondage and dripping sticky stuff isn't going to make me more comfortable with this. Don't try to be helpful, okay?' A sullen silence answered him. He counted that as a victory.

"Me first?" Sakura asked with a weak smile. "I don't really have any dark secrets." Ino snorted. She shot her a glare before continuing. "I'm just a...I think they said D class? I have one uncontrolled talent and that's all. I can heal serious injuries if I understand exactly what's wrong. But if it's not as bad as I think it is, or if I misunderstand the nature of the injury, then it messes up. I end up causing the injury I mistakenly thought was there instead of healing what was actually there." She licked her lips nervously. "I don't use my talent because of that."

Kiba, who had rolled a two, waited for her to add something. When she didn't, he shrugged. "I communicate with animals. I relate best to dogs, like Akamaru here. I've been living on my own most my life, staying out of cities and stuff. I do best in wild places, not that there are many of those left these days. Akamaru got scratched up by a raccoon a few months back and we tried to find a vet for him. That's how I ended up getting caught by those lab coats. They were really interested in using animals. As spies, maybe. I wasn't much help to them. Mice and squirrels are best for being everywhere and all, but their brains are so small they're pretty much useless. At least, I can't get sense from them. Most animals I talk to communicate with images. The rodent types are just instinct and emotion, fear mostly."

"You're supposed to be telling about yourself," Ino pointed out.

"I am," Kiba scowled. "My talent is to relate to animals. I communicate with them and if we bond, then we get a little trade off going. Like with Akamaru. I pick up some of his senses and he picks up human speech."

"He can talk?" Naruto blurted. "Like Pakkun?"

"No! He understands what we're saying, but he's got a dog's mouth. I don't know how the hell Pakkun talks around that mouth of his. All those teeth get in the way, you know."

Sasuke was glaring at the dog. "He understands human speech?"

"Yeah," Kiba scowled. "He-"

"You guys are asking questions!" Ino interrupted. "This round of show and tell is the showing, introductions only. Save the questions and the telling for round two."

"Right," Naruto winced. "Then-"

"We could just forget the game and talk," Sasuke said in a bland tone.

Naruto glared at him. "No! We're playing a game here. We have to stick to the rules or it'll get all messed up."

"Introduce yourself, then," said Sasuke.

It came out as a taunt and reminded Naruto of whose turn it now was. He suddenly felt small. A wide grin flew to his face, an instinctive reaction to being the center of attention. "You guys know that picture the weird old guy drew in the mall earlier? That's my talent. Well, minus the scary factor. I've got a split personality that looks like a fox."

'Not looks like,' Kyuubi corrected, 'is a fox.'

"Only since he's just in my head he might as well be a person," Naruto continued, ignoring the offense Kyuubi took at the assumption that being a 'person' was better than being a fox. "He's like my id. You know, ego, super ego, and then the wild little kid 'id' who is all about want-want-want." He knew he was rambling on about things only someone in long-term contact with Iruka would understand, but he couldn't stop himself. In the end, Iruka's clinical explanation sounded the least insane, even if it was the least accurate when compared to Kyuubi himself. "His name is Kyuubi, because he's got nine tails. A weird looking fox, I guess," and he laughed. "We sort of share energy, his is red, and it lets us do stuff like, uh, be stronger than usual, some animal type instincts," and he shot a quick grin at Kiba, hoping for support there. "You can tell when he's around because my eyes get red-"

'I'm around even when your eyes are blue,' Kyuubi growled. 'What are you babbling on about?'

"-so if I ever get all red-eyed and sharp toothed, it's just him taking a peek around. Don't pay any attention to it. Yeah..." He scratched at the back of his neck, the grin threatening to split his face in two. He was extremely aware of the stares. Even Akamaru was watching him without blinking. A snort broke the silence. Naruto almost hit Sasuke without even thinking about it. So much for supporting him when he was going out on a limb here. The asshole. He should have known better than to-

"My talent also involves my eyes going red," Sasuke stated. He activated the sharingan, immediately drawing the attention of everyone but Naruto, who was still squirming in his own embarrassment. "My eyes allow me to copy talents. I'm most interested in copying yours," he told Lee. "I have fought a lot of mutants over the years. I have never seen anyone with energy like yours."

"Is it special?" Lee asked, bright eyed and excited. "My master taught me everything I know. He assured me that I would be able to hold my own with any opponent I might encounter, but I have yet to put it to the test. I have little control over my energy, it simply is what it is. My talents involve physical excellence." There was not a hint of boasting in that comment, as if he were merely stating a fact. "Speed, strength, and agility are what I have trained to excel at. I don't believe that is something a person could copy. It requires years of training and far more stamina than you have." He shrugged apologetically when Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "I see these things. It may have to do with my energy, though I consider it simple instinct. For instance, Naruto-kun and his-" He blinked and frowned. "Should I address him separately? Kyuubi-san?"

"It doesn't really matter," Naruto said weakly.

"Very well," Lee smiled. "I know that the two of you have a great amount of potential stamina more akin to mine than anyone else here. You," and he nodded to Sasuke, "are much more refined and thus limited. You have more in common with..." He looked around at the others, stared at the doorway for a moment, and then nodded. "With the boy in the other room. And Iruka-san, of course."

"Not Kakashi?" asked Sasuke.

"Oh, no. His talent is quite strange to me. Perhaps he is to me what I am to you," he smiled widely. "I've never met anyone like him. I can't tell if he is strong or weak, which is very unusual. I tend to know these things on first sight."

"He's strong," Naruto said grudgingly. "A total weirdo pervert, but he's pretty strong."

"I see."

A long sigh sounded, then Ino waved at them. "You're chatting again. Why is it so hard to just talk about yourself and then move on? I want to get to the dares sometime today. So, if you don't mind, it's my turn."

"My apologies," Lee said quickly. "I didn't mean to monopolize the conversation."

"I know," Ino sighed. "You can't help being clueless. You're as bad as Sakura."

"Hey!" said Saskura.

"You know it's true," Ino sniffed at her. "Anyway, it's my turn. I have one talent that is, from the sound of things, better than any of yours." She waited long enough for Kiba and Naruto to frown at her conceited tone. "I can transfer my consciousness into another person and control them completely. Shall I provide a demonstration?"

Sakura jumped, "Ino, don't you-" The blonde girl had slumped sideways into her before she could finish.

"What happened?" asked Naruto. He leaned toward Ino, who appeared to be sleeping. "What did she-" A hand crept along the back of his neck and he turned to find Sasuke giving him a sweet smile. He had never seen anything so creepy in his entire life. "Sasuke...?"

"Nope, guess again."

"Ino, get out of him right now!" Sakura cried. "I can't believe you!"

"I'm not hurting anything," Ino said, though it was Sasuke's voice that spoke. "Am I, Naruto...?"

A shiver started over Naruto's back. Sasuke was going to kill her. And then he'd kill him for talking him into playing this game in the first place. He was deeply grateful when that playful hand left his neck. At least, he was until it dropped to Sasuke's folded legs and began to run little circles over his bare knee. For one brief moment he imagined it was actually Sasuke doing that, touching himself in front of him. Then Kyuubi pounced and he found wide dark eyes inches from his own. The fact that it was Ino's fear marring Sasuke's features didn't sooth his anger. "Get out!"

"Okay, okay, I was-" Sasuke's voice stopped cold, the rest coming from Ino on the other side of the circle.

"-just playing," Ino huffed. She straightened her hair and frowned at Naruto. "You weren't kidding about the red eyes thing..."

"Don't you ever do that again," Naruto growled at her. The voice was as much Kyuubi's as his own. It had the desired effect. Ino hunched her shoulders and looked away. He immediately looked to Sasuke. His expression was absolutely blank, dark eyes staring down at the hand that still lay over his knee. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," said Sasuke. He folded his arms over his chest, his blank stare shifting to the chessboard in the center of the circle. "How many rounds are in this game?"

"I don't know," Naruto frowned. He wasn't the least bit fooled by that 'fine' of his. "A few?"

"Let's get on with it, then."

"I guess I'm first," Sakura said. She sent one more frigid glare at Ino, and then rolled a three. Naruto paled when she looked up at him. She smiled, "How did you come to be adopted by Iruka?"

A simple easy question. Naruto was sure that was how she'd seen it. Something easy to help him relax. She couldn't possibly know that was the last thing he wanted to tell. Just because they'd been too distracted to freak out about his fox personality didn't mean they wouldn't freak when they found out he'd been raised in mental hospitals. He fidgeted and flashed a playful grin. "Dare!"

"Really?" Sakura blinked in surprise. She covered it quickly. "Um... I dare you to...let Kyuubi take a peek around - for the rest of the game!"

"What!" Naruto yelped. "Why? What's the point of-"

"Truth or dare," Ino said sharply. "Besides, you went 'all red-eyed' just now. Might as well go sharp-toothed while you're at it."

"You did say he comes out for a peek now and then, right?" Sakura prodded. "I'd like to meet him. I have a second personality myself, though it's only in my head. Iruka-san mentioned that he knew someone who'd had trouble with two personalities sharing his mind - I had no idea he was referring to you."

"Wait," Naruto blinked, "you have a split personality, too? You didn't say anything about that when-"

"It's not my talent," shrugged Sakura. "It's just a childhood thing I never grew out of. Anyway, truth or dare. Which will it be?"

Naruto glowered at the giddy fox hopping around behind his ears. 'This is only temporary. Don't think you're going to go wild on them. And if the next question isn't something you can answer, you have to let me take it. Oh, and you don't get to ask my question, either. I'm still the one playing this game.'

Kyuubi growled. 'When do I get to play?'

'Some other time,' Naruto said. 'After they've gotten used to you.' Not that he'd ever instigate a game like this again. Kyuubi must have heard that thought because his scowl manifested on Naruto's face when he was allowed to come forward. Naruto rolled his eyes, mentally, as he made himself comfortable. 'Stop pouting.'

'Fuck you,' muttered the fox.

'Language!'

"You don't look very different," Sakura commented. "Aside from the eyes."

Kyuubi flashed her a grin, sharp teeth glinting very well in the light. The way she paled was very gratifying.

"Oh..."

"My turn," said Kiba. He grabbed the die and rolled it hard, making it bounce off the chessboard and land in the carpet. It was a two. He huffed and rolled again, more gently this time. His eyes glinted when it stopped on four. He snapped a sharp look on Sasuke. "Who were those mutants earlier?"

Sasuke stared blankly at him, his response short and blunt. "The one with the glasses is named Kabuto. The other one is a flunky of his. I don't know his name."

Kiba growled, scoffing, "That doesn't tell me anything! Where did they come from? What do they want? Why-"

"I answered your question," Sasuke said. He handed the die to Naruto. "It's your turn."

"That's not fair!" Kiba protested.

"You should have phrased the question better," Ino said dismissively. She ignored his answering growl.

Kyuubi rolled a two and asked his question before Naruto had a chance to push forward and pose one of his own. "Are you a hunter? How good are you at tracking?"

"Yeah, I am," Kiba answered. "I'm real good." He exchanged a quick look with Akamaru, who whined quietly. "Are you thinking of a competition? You know, hounds hunt down foxes all the time."

"Oh, I have someone else in mind for the prey," Kyuubi drawled.

'You better be talking about Ino,' Naruto warned him. 'There's no way Sasuke would go along with it.'

'Why wouldn't he? He's a worthy prey. With skilled hunters on his tail, he'll improve so that no one but us will be able to track him. It's for his own benefit.'

'Right. You're wanting to hunt him down so you can make him stronger. It has nothing to do with pouncing and eating him once you catch him. Then you won't mind if Kiba finds him first.'

'That would never happen.'

'Then there's no point in competing!' Naruto huffed.

Kyuubi sighed, 'This is between me and the beast-boy. It has nothing to do with you.'

'Um, it's still my body. Just because I'm letting you out for this game doesn't mean you'll get to do whatever you want later. Don't think you can-' His vision blurred as Kyuubi suddenly swung his head around. Sasuke wasn't sitting beside them anymore. A moment later, he was rising and rushing after him. Naruto pushed at Kyuubi to let him have control. He needn't have bothered.

Sasuke stood frozen just inside the doorway, his stance stiff and unnatural. Naruto, or rather Kyuubi, pressed up to look over his shoulder. Shikamaru stood there, blinking bleary eyes at them. The boy lifted a hand to smother a yawn, and Sasuke mimicked him.

"I was just looking for the kitchen," Shikamaru muttered. "You don't have to attack me."

"What is this?" Sasuke hissed. His teeth were clenched, but his expression remained as blank as it had been earlier.

"Self defense. I've caught your shadow. You were too fast for me to avoid, so I just stopped you. Say you won't come at me again and I'll let you go. Like I said, I'm just looking for the kitchen. That Iruka guy promised me soup."

"Iruka's out right now," Kyuubi grinned. His eyes flew from Sasuke's stiff stance, down to the floor, and traced the visible shadow connecting his feet to Shikamaru's. Even Naruto was startled by the talent. "The kitchen is that way," he pointed down the hall. Then he curled his arms over Sasuke's shoulders, pressing up behind him and tickling under his chin with one sharp claw. Sure enough, Sasuke's eyebrow twitched and that was all. "You froze him completely?"

"Yeah."

Sasuke growled when Kyuubi tickled his neck some more. "Naruto..."

"Naruto is taking a nap," Kyuubi hummed into his ear.

'I am not!' Naruto yelped. 'What are you-' A clawed hand curled around Sasuke's waist, pulling him very close, and he gulped. 'Hey, Kyuubi...'

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "I can feel everything you do to him."

"Really?" Kyuubi blinked. If anything, his grin widened. "Everything...?"

"Kyuubi," Sasuke growled.

"Yes, that's my name."

"I'm going to kill you."

"Promises, promises..."

With another yawn, uncovered this time, Shikamaru released his binding shadow. He promptly stepped to the side. The formerly frozen Sasuke wrenched himself free and landed a kick on the side of Naruto's head. A moment later the hallway was wafting with furious vibes. It was enough to exhaust anyone in the nearby vicinity. Shikamaru huffed and left them to it. He could hear a scuffle break out, more voices, one particularly strident 'What about the game?' and then the door slammed. Silence reigned for a good minute before the voices started up again, erupting into the kitchen loudly enough to make him plug an ear with his finger.

"Thanks a lot," Ino glared, stomping forward until he was forced to back up a step. "You did that on purpose, didn't you! You've slept for days and days and the second we're having some actual fun, you wake up and spoil it. What do you have against me?"

The others were crowding in the doorway, Lee and Kiba talking at the same time but not to each other.

Sakura elbowed her way through. "Why are you taking it personally?"

Ino didn't take her eyes off Shikamaru, "Because he did the same damn thing in that factory! The second things are going well, he wakes up and suddenly everyone's fussing over him and he's the center of attention. After I went to all the trouble of making Sasuke more interested in my talent than-"

"What makes you think he's interested in your talent?" Sakura interrupted. "He said Lee's talent was the one-"

"He can't copy my talent," Lee said, regretfully. "I honestly don't believe anyone could."

Kiba shoved Lee on the shoulder, his voice quiet, "Don't interrupt, don't attract their attention." He directed him to the table, where they'd have a front row seat without being in the line of fire.

"Of course he's interested," Ino scoffed. "I could control anyone in the world, except maybe a few freaks with multiple personalities. Obviously if someone wanted to find a rare and ridiculously useful talent, he'd come to me. It's common sense."

"It's cheating," snapped Sakura. "That's what it is, cheating. You specifically said no talents."

"Oh, come on! I touched his leg. While I was wearing it. That doesn't even count as groping," she turned sharply, "does it, Lee?"

"Ah!" Lee smiled. "Groping, as in touching in a private part. No, a leg is not a private part. Therefore touching one would surely not be considered-"

"Now that doesn't count," Sakura scoffed. "He only knows what you've taught him. He was coached. He's biased." She turned as well, "Kiba?"

"Why involve me?" Kiba demanded. "I'm biased, too. Hell, I'm extremely biased. Against both of you."

"You don't have to be rude," said Sakura. "Just answer the question. You were there. Would you count that as groping?"

Kiba sighed. So much for this being a spectator sport. "What she did to Naruto? Yeah, that was groping."

"Hey!" Ino yelped. "Not that! We're not even-"

"What she did to Sasuke?" Kiba continued. "That was just messing with herself. It was her own body while she was in there, right? Not like he felt a thing, right? So if you wanted to label it anything, it'd have to be...well..."

"Masturbation?" asked Lee.

"Pretty much," Kiba grimaced. "She did it right there in front of us, too..."

"Oh..." Lee murmured, his eyes very wide. "Oh, I apologize! I should not have watched! I had no idea you were masturbating!"

"I wasn't masturbating!" Ino blurted. "Don't tell him things like that, you - Dog-licker!"

"The hell? I don't lick dogs! You take that-"

"A dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's." Lee nodded sagely when they looked at him. "It is an inhospitable environment for bacteria compared to the human mouth."

Sakura cleared her throat. "How do you know things like that when you don't know anything about...well, anything?"

"Doesn't everyone know that?"

Kiba snorted, "I didn't and I talk to dogs."

A high pitched gasp broke them up. Ino had a hand over her mouth, eyes bulging in horror. The others followed her gaze.

Shikamaru bore the stares for a few seconds before lowering the gallon of milk. He took a quick breath after all that swallowing. "What?"

"How could you...?" Ino whispered. "I can't believe you'd...how could you just...oh..."

"What the hell," Kiba frowned at her. "You never drank out of a jug before?"

Ino shuddered, her curled hand pressing closer to her mouth. "Of all the dirty...germs...backwash...oh...how could you..." She choked and suddenly stomped a foot on the floor. "Sick! That's sick! You should be ashamed of yourself!"

Sakura rushed to her side, putting an arm over her shoulders and acting both to comfort and restrain her. "It's not a big deal. Really. It's just a jug of milk. A few dollars down the drain, that's all."

"I'm not pouring it down the drain," Shikamaru muttered, staring at Sakura as if she were the bizarre one. "That's wasteful."

"Damn right it is!" Ino cried. Her face was angry and upset, with a good dose of nausea. She stomped her foot again. "You have to finish every drop now! When it goes back in the refrigerator, you have to put your name on it so no one swallows any of your backwash, you - sick, sick person, you!"

"I wasn't planning to put it back at all." Shikamaru turned away from Ino and glanced at the table. He caught Kiba's eye. "Bathroom?" With a direction in mind now, he sent another weird look at the panting Ino and then left the room, head back and jug tilted so he could drink while he walked. There was one more stomp before he made it out of the kitchen.

"What's wrong with her?" Kiba asked Sakura. "Everyone's drank out of a jug at least once, right?"

"I have," Lee chirped. "It is much more convenient than purchasing cups that must be cleaned and stored after each usage."

Sakura flashed a wincing look. "That's not the same as drinking out of a container other people will be drinking out of as well. She just doesn't like germs, okay?"

"But wasn't she down in that dirty basement?" Kiba frowned. "Crawling around in the-"

"People-germs," Sakura huffed. "And spit." She glared at Kiba. "Would you enjoy drinking a jug of someone else's spit? No? I didn't think so. Drop it." Prodding Ino, she guided her out of the room, slowly, so hopefully there would be no glimpse of Shikamaru when they hit the hall.

Ino let herself be guided only because her stomach was twisting enough to leave her too dizzy to make it up the stairs to her room. "Why is he so sick? It was sick, wasn't it?"

"It was sick," Sakura assured her. "Completely rude. No manners at all."

"Just sick. And milk! The backwash will be floating on top where- Oh! It's so sick...!"

"It's always the quiet ones," Sakura commiserated.

"He doesn't even try," Ino mourned. "It's not fair! Why do I always have to be attracted to guys as disgusting as my father? Why?"

"It's a curse."

"It is! Sick, disgusting - it's not fair! I hate him! Every time I look at him, he's doing something sick and rude and - it's not fair!"

"I know."

"And when I try to want the normal ones-"

"They're gay."

"It's not fair!"

"I know."

.-.

"Well?" Kakashi drawled as they walked down the sidewalk. "How did I do?"

"I'm impressed," Iruka admitted. "You make very good small talk."

They hadn't stayed long. When Kurenai hadn't heard anything, she had gone ahead and invited one of their coworkers and his wife to act as insurance against any plot Asuma might have had. That was the reason Iruka had given in to Naruto's request to take Kakashi with him. Naruto had wanted him out of the house and Iruka hadn't wanted to separate one of the kids from the others. Unfortunately, without any of the kids there to keep her involved, Hinata had retired early and Kakashi had ended up being the only source of entertainment. How he had managed to talk about so many pointless yet interesting things, Iruka didn't know. He had thought the dinner would be awkward and embarrassing. Instead, it had been pleasant, if a little on the boring side.

"Are you really that well traveled?" asked Iruka. "I didn't think you were the type to keep up with politics."

"It pays to know what's happening, especially on the mutant front. I wouldn't want to be arrested the second I step off the plane because the country has gone and banned mutants since my last visit. I started paying even more attention once I had the kid along with me. Some of them have particular laws about under-aged mutants. And then there's old fashioned unrest. I'm not interested in walking into the middle of someone else's fight. Riots aren't my thing."

"But some of it is so obscure. I had no idea mutants were so involved in Australia, of all places. I've never read anything about that." Not that he doubted Kakashi's information. As outlandish as the story was, it had a ring of truth to it. "Masked vigilantes? And you mistaken for one of them..."

"Don't laugh," Kakashi pouted. "It was a major pain getting out of there. Everyone wanted an autograph or a picture and all the actual mutants hated me for walking around openly. As if I could have known they had an underground deal going on with the authorities. If I were that interested in keeping the streets cleaned, I'd have been running the place, not sticking to the shadows."

"How did Sasuke take all of the attention?"

"Badly. He just couldn't understand why everyone was fawning over me and not him. He was so jealous of my popularity I had to cut our visit short."

Iruka stared at him for a moment and then sighed. "Now that just makes me doubt the entire story. Is any of that true?"

"Of course." Kakashi stopped, catching one of his hands while putting as much hurt into his visible eye as possible. "Iruka, do you believe I'd lie to you?"

Iruka's lips pressed into a tight line. "Now I'm doubting everything else you've said tonight." He tugged his hand free so he could resume his walk. "I should have known. You haven't so much as looked at the television or a newspaper. You haven't had any access to the net - unless you brought a laptop with you. There's no way you could be current with everything that's going on in the world. And it's only a matter of time before they think to check one of the things you mentioned, then they'll assume I'm associated with a pathological liar." He sighed. "Here I honestly thought I had underestimated your ability to act normal."

"You do believe I lied to you," Kakashi accused. "I'm wounded. Disappointed in you, as well. Everything I've said this evening was entirely true." He paused and then sighed himself, "Well, except the part about being pulled over in Florida. They don't issue driver's licenses to mutants there, so I wouldn't have driven at all, let alone gotten a ticket for driving too slowly. I expected at least one of you to call me on that. You should really consider learning more about what's going on in the world, Iruka."

"That was the truest-sounding story you told..."

"Which proves fact is stranger than fiction. For instance, there was a vampire in Texas two years ago who decided the death penalty was inhumane. Do you know what he did to get rid of it?"

Iruka winced, "Even if it's a true story, I probably don't want to know..."

"He cleaned out every single prison. All those poor people suffering on death row for decades, all those poor tax payers feeding them while going without themselves, all taken care of in one night. And the vampire was so full afterward that they caught him waddling from the scene of the crime as puffed up as a balloon. Of course they immediately put a dozen holes in him so that he drained just enough to fit through the door. The bloated bat he turned into during his escape was the size of a golf cart."

The laugh broke out despite Iruka's attempt to muffle it. "That's absurd. And macabre, besides. I don't believe that. If you'd told it tonight, no one else would have believed it, either."

"It's absolutely true. Look up Texas fat bat the next time you're on your computer."

"I may actually do that," Iruka warned.

"I just told you to," Kakashi beamed.

Iruka's smile faltered. "It's not true."

"I wouldn't dream of lying to you," Kakash said, reproachfully.

"Then Sasuke, who doesn't even like to be spoken to, was actually jealous that you got more paparazzi attention than he did?"

"Well...I would dream of teasing you. That doesn't count as a lie, though," he said quickly. "You didn't believe it for a second. A lie is meant to be believed. Anything less is just a joke."

"Oh, of course. I see the distinction."

"I knew you would, being so clever." He smiled at the droll response. "You're not much of a conversationalist, though. I was looking forward to hearing some interesting anecdotes. They were your friends, after all."

"I warned you I was more of a listener than a talker. One of the reasons I find myself surrounded by people who never stop talking."

"Are you implying that I talk too much? Because, you know, I can't talk at all if my mouth is otherwise occupied."

"Kakashi."

He huffed moodily. "Don't worry, Sensei, I've learned your time and place lesson very well. Which is why I'm suggesting rather than molesting. I have behaved myself all evening. Surely good behavior deserves a reward..."

Iruka gave him a long look before smiling. "Maybe."

"Coy," Kakashi grinned. "I like that."

Someone was waiting at the end of Iruka's drive. Kakashi spotted him first, giving him plenty of time to mask his annoyance. When Iruka did spot him, the old man smiled and came to meet him with an outstretched hand.

"Umino-san?"

"Yes?"

"Tiedoll, it's a pleasure to meet you. I wanted to speak with you about your house."

"Oh. Is it important?"

"I consider it time-sensitive," Tiedoll nodded solemnly. "I would be very grateful if we could go some place public to discuss it." Iruka glanced past him, toward the house, and he smiled once more. "It wouldn't be proper for a complete stranger to ask for an interview in your own home. But since I'm here, and you happen to be out, I was hoping we could get this matter settled as quickly as possible. Please, if you'd join me for a cup of coffee, I promise I won't keep you long."

Iruka gave a polite smile, his expression reserved. "I suppose I could do that. Kakashi, would you mind waiting?"

"No," Kakashi drawled, "I think I'll join the two of you. You don't mind, do you?"

"Not at all," Tiedoll said quickly. "The more the merrier. In fact, I was hoping I might get a chance to meet you as well, Hatake-san."

"You know me?"

"By reputation only. You were added to the mutant registry three weeks ago. I've wondered how you managed to stay off it for so long. Perhaps you can share some of your secrets."

"Is that what this is about?" asked Iruka. "The list?"

"Yes and no," Tiedoll admitted. He gave a cheerful smile. "I'd rather not get into it on the street."

"But you don't mind talking about it in a more public place," Kakashi murmured.

"It's not a matter of privacy," Tiedoll said quickly, his eyes wide. "I'm not as young as I used to be so my knees protest after a while. I prefer to sit while discussing the future. It's more relaxing."

"Of course," said Iruka. "Do you have a place in mind?"

"I do."

With a smile, Tiedoll led them back the way they had come. Kakashi eyed him, noting that his walk was as fluid as theirs, belying any old age weakness he claimed to have. The fact that he was drawing them away from the house couldn't have been more obvious. Had Iruka noticed? Iruka had wanted him to stay behind, so he probably had.

"What is this list?" Kakashi asked, leaving either of them to answer.

Iruka raised an eyebrow at him, his tone far too casual. "All that knowledge about politics and you haven't heard of the registry?"

"Well, I suppose it's an international list of known mutants, likely written by some faction hoping to mark them off one a time. Things like that don't really interest me. Though if I'm on it now, I guess I'll have to pay more attention."

"Not necessarily," said Tiedoll. "Names have a habit of coming and going from the list, without staying long enough to reach the top. Yours hasn't been on long enough to garner much attention. I'd say you have a sixty-six percent chance of slipping off the list in the next week or two."

"Really. How did you come up with those odds?"

Tiedoll turned to wink at him. "That's what I'd like to discuss with you."

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

It took time for Naruto to get into the fight. He wasn't angry. He had always lashed out due to anger, hurt, repaying a wrong done to him. Without that requisite anger he was hesitant, awkward, he worried about consequences and motives. Sasuke was upset, had been since he had met him in the field. Being caught by Ino's and Shikamaru's talents had only made it worse. Naruto's instinct was to comfort. He wanted to help, not to hurt.

It wasn't until they hit the fields that he realized Sasuke wanted this fight as much as Kyuubi did. He could have outrun them. He could have stayed at the house instead of taunting Kyuubi to follow him. What he had done was wave a red flag at the bull and he was grinning. When Kyuubi didn't attack the second he turned to face them, he laughed. Naruto was struck by the stunning realization that he didn't understand either of them. In that moment he felt completely left out and it hurt.

"Don't be a wimp, Naruto. How do you expect to keep him on a leash if you don't let him stretch his legs now and then?"

"Don't talk through me," Kyuubi growled. Yet he made no move to attack. Naruto didn't understand why.

'It's no use if you're going to cry about it,' Kyuubi spat at him.

'I'm not crying!'

'You might as well be. Don't you get it? This is comfort for him. He doesn't want to be pet and protected and weak.'

'I know that.' He did. And he knew it was wrong. 'It's not healthy.'

Kyuubi snorted. 'If he enjoys rough sex are you going to refuse to give him any because it's not healthy?'

'This isn't like that!'

'Yes it is. This is exactly like that. Look at him. Look. Is he eager to fight or to fuck?'

He looked. If he had been in control of his body he would have been shivering and hard instantly. It was Sasuke's eyes, his smile, a sly taunting smile that made him wonder, frantically, if Sasuke was just as sadistic as Kyuubi. Sasuke looked ready to pounce and Naruto suddenly wanted him to.

Kyuubi made a rumbling noise of contempt. 'Be glad I'm here. If you let him take you down that easily, he wouldn't want anything to do with you.'

"Well?" Sasuke prompted.

Kyuubi grinned. That was the only warning he gave before attacking. Rather than dodging, as he had expected, Sasuke twisted to the side, his sword flashing from one hand to the other before nearly decapitating them. Kyuubi caught it in his palm, hissing as it bit into bone. His flash of satisfaction that Sasuke wasn't holding back was marred when Sasuke sneered at him.

"Shield, Naruto! You have energy for a reason. Use it!"

"Stop talking through me!" Kyuubi bit out. His fist closed on the blade and when his claws chipped rather than penetrating the metal, he simply wrenched it out of Sasuke's grip. His hand shot out and Sasuke flitted out of range. Using the sword to extend his reach, he sent fiery red energy slashing after him. Again, he evaded. "Don't you want your toy back?"

Sasuke's hand whipped out, fingers splayed, and threads wrapped around the handle of the sword. Sparking electricity flowed along them, but Kyuubi let go before it could reach him. With a yank, Sasuke sent the sword sliding off into the grass. "I don't know how to use it, anyway," he admitted.

'He's so damned cocky!' Naruto grimaced.

'Tell me about it,' Kyuubi growled. He crouched low to the ground, energy billowing, singing away at the grass around him. Sasuke darted at him and he leaped to the side. It was a feint. Threads rippled up from the grass, lashing around one of his ankles and cutting in deep. Kyuubi reached out and tangled a fistful of them in his claws before Sasuke could pull on them and finish the cut.

"What are you doing in there, Naruto?" Sasuke hissed, contempt twisting his face. "Do you want your feet cut off? Shield, you moron!"

'I'm trying, bastard!' Naruto yelled, forgetting that Sasuke couldn't actually hear him. 'I don't know how!'

'If he keeps talking through me, I'm going to kill him,' Kyuubi warned.

'Now you know how I feel.'

Electricity sped along the threads. This time he couldn't simply let go. It caught him head on and if his teeth hadn't been clenched, he might have howled. Naruto, who wasn't quite close enough to the front to feel the pain, pulled on their energy. He didn't know how the hell shielding worked. He could only assume it had to do with condensing the energy. He tried to do that. But instead of pulling tight and thick, it exploded in eye-watering waves of red. Kyuubi ignored Naruto's apologetic yelp.

The threads had ignited. On the other end of those threads, Sasuke took the brunt of it and was thrown backward. Kyuubi didn't give him a chance to recover. He reached him before he could get to his feet. Sasuke's arms flew up and Kyuubi felt the impact his fist made against Sasuke's blocking arm shudder back along his own arm, all the way to the back of his neck. Having been knocked to the ground again, Sasuke dropped his arms and suddenly there was a ball of fire heading right for Kyuubi's face.

'Stop, drop and roll!' Naruto yelled.

'I know,' snapped Kyuubi.

He hadn't jerked to the side fast enough. His left sleeve had caught fire. He dropped, rolling to snuff the fire, and then kicking when he found Sasuke right above him. Sasuke blocked with one arm and again Kyuubi could feel the impact echo all the way through his leg. Sasuke landed a kick of his own that threatened to cave in his rib cage. Kyuubi ignored the pain, leaving his energy to handle the damage. He caught Sasuke's leg and jerked him off his feet. As he went in for the kill, Sasuke's left arm erupted in chirping silver currents. He caught himself mid leap and sent a wave of energy at him instead. It was cleaved by Sasuke's arm, cut neatly in half, the two impacts digging into the ground on either side of Sasuke's head.

Sasuke rolled to the side, hissing when his skin made contact with the singed ground. His elbow struck the sword he had flung aside earlier. He snatched it up, pivoting to face Kyuubi's immediate lunge. Sparks flew as the sword cut through the thick red energy, slicing off the longest of Kyuubi's claws.

Kyuubi jerked back just long enough for the claws to regrow. His energy flared. Then he heard it. Fast movement wisping through the grass, cloth flapping. Behind him. He whirled and caught a glimpse of a dark figure rushing toward him and then Sasuke was between them, another sword clashing with his own.

.-.

Kakashi had expected them to end up at Caldina's place again. Instead, Tiedoll took them to a coffee shop down the street from it. It was a cheery little place, brightly lit and surprisingly busy. The old man led them to a booth in the back and insisted they order before he began.

"I'm part of an organization that monitors and controls mutant activity. My role is to investigate and record. I'm sure you've noticed that many mutants consider themselves above the law. They are. The only military faction capable of dealing with powerful mutants is Oz and, frankly, they're not going about it very well. They're more interested in catching rebels and teenagers than going after the actual criminals. Not that they could handle them if they did try. No, I'm afraid it's up to us to control each other."

"And how is that working out for you?" asked Kakashi.

Tiedoll ignored the sarcasm. "You might be surprised. The key is to know which individuals other mutants flock to. Oh, you'll have your rogues," and he smiled at Kakashi, "but even they tend to seek out their own kind. The problem is that they don't coexist well. Once they reach a certain level, their inclination to find companions of equal strength leads to power struggles. You're far more likely to find an S class mutant surrounded by B level underlings than to see two A classes together. The rare exceptions are what we look for. They're the ones who change the future."

"What do you do when you find them?" asked Iruka.

"Monitor and record, in order to plot how they will influence future events. At the moment we're tracking three possible futures, two of which are dire."

"Fortune telling?" Iruka demanded. His expression bordered on disdain. "I don't believe in that."

Kakashi looked over in surprise. "You're a skeptic? A mutant who doesn't believe in mutant powers?"

"Abilities, yes," Iruka frowned. "But not fate. If one could see the future then that would mean the future is already determined. In which case, even knowing the future wouldn't enable one to change it. There would be no point to living at all."

"I agree," Tiedoll said quickly. "To date, we have never found a mutant who could accurately see into the ultimate future. The closest we have come is a young mutant who has visions of possible futures. Three possibilities for each mutant she forecasts. By making her aware of as many mutants as possible, and their connections to each other, we have been able to identify which futures coincide and eliminate the others. Mind you, even the final three we have identified remain possibilities only. As you said, there is no single ultimate outcome. That leaves room to promote the most positive future and to intervene to shift or forestall the negative ones."

Iruka was shaking his head. Tiedoll leaned closer, his tone earnest. "Please hear me out. It isn't just the future she sees, but also the present and the past. By knowing an individual and the choices he makes in a given situation, you can predict his reactions in future situations. Even if she couldn't see the future, her predictions based on past actions would still be more accurate than your average weather forecast." He flashed a smile. "We don't take anything on face value. There is a lot of computing involved and we leave plenty of room for variations. Wild cards, we call them. Individuals who could, for good or bad, throw all of our predictions out the window."

"Then what?" prompted Kakashi.

"Why, then we begin again, incorporating the new variable into our system to identify the effect on the future."

Iruka sighed. "If these individuals exist, whether they're identified or not, then they affect the future, whether they're identified or not. So unless you can identify them all, the future you plot will always be off."

"Exactly," beamed Tiedoll.

"What does this have to do with me?"

"You are a wild card. We have been following two S class mutants who have a significant effect on the future, partly because of their connection to each other, a rare occurrence given the level, and partly because both have connections to mid-level mutants around the world. When we saw that the two were going to converge for the first time in six years, naturally we investigated. What we found was you. Your house. It isn't included in any of our predictions. Because we can't see you, we can't see the mutants around you, and the collective effect you will have on the future. Now that I'm here, I realize there is at least one other wild card in addition to you. I can't emphasize how rare that is. What I would like is your permission to investigate this further."

"Meaning what, exactly?" asked Kakashi.

"I would like to have a student of mine stay in the house for the next week, so we'll have a first-hand account of what happens there."

"No," Iruka blurted. "I opened my house to shelter kids. I don't want to be involved in some...organization, whatever your motives are. It has nothing to do with me."

"I'm sorry," said Tiedoll, "but by sheltering Uchiha Sasuke, you have gotten involved. Unless you can get him out of your house and out of this country - within the next few days - you will be involved. All three futures show the convergence happening here, because of him. Not even the presence of two wild cards can halt that now that it's already in motion."

"So his brother is one of the S class guys you've been following," said Kakashi.

"Yes."

"Then I guess we'll be cutting our visit short."

"No!" Iruka cried. "Naruto would never forgive me! I wouldn't forgive myself. Besides, you said his brother doesn't involve bystanders."

"Not as far as I know, but-"

"We don't see any evidence that he'll start now," Tiedoll assured them. "The problem isn't direct harm that he'll cause, it's the repercussions. Simple contact with him has been known to cause radical shifts in the lives of mutants. For instance, you," he nodded to Kakashi, "were never predicted to keep company with anyone or to stay in one place for more than a month. Now all three futures show you staying in this country for at least a year."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "Proof that your predictions are completely off."

"If they are," Tiedoll frowned, "it will be because of your contact with Umino-san and the other wild card living with him. Until you arrived here, your actions have been exactly as predicted, including your sudden appearance on the mutant registry. We have been unable to identify who placed you on the list, but we knew exactly when you would be added. Two of the futures now show you being removed within the next week, the other has you staying on it and rising rapidly."

Kakashi hummed, more amused than anything. "Who is the other S class mutant coming here?"

"No one you have had contact with. None of the futures show you ever having direct contact with him. Unless one of the wild cards here intervenes, he won't have contact with anyone except his own people and Uchiha Itachi."

"Getting Sasuke out of here would take care of all of that," said Kakashi.

Tiedoll spoke up before Iruka could protest. "You can't. If you tried, there are already mutants here who would stop you."

"Really. Do any of your futures show me trying?"

"Yes," Tiedoll said soberly.

"And what happens?"

"They destroy the airport, killing hundreds of innocent humans and one young mutant who has already suffered too much to have his life cut so short."

"What's his name?" Iruka demanded. "The mutant."

"Hyuuga Neji."

.-.

Kyuubi was in a bubble. He was raging and bordering on blind panic. Naruto wasn't faring much better. He couldn't believe Sasuke had done it. As panicked as Sasuke had gotten at being restrained, he should have been the last person to do that to someone else. Yet here they were, trapped, enclosed, and none of Kyuubi's attempts to puncture it were working.

The attacker had targeted them. After ordering them back to the house, insulting Kyuubi's strength and effectively ensuring that he wouldn't go anywhere, Sasuke had deflected two more attacks. It wasn't until he had used the bubble that the swordsman finally focused on him. He looked young, in his late teens or early twenties. He had at least a foot on Sasuke, with black hair held in a high tail, the ends of which dangled past his waist. He wore a long black coat that billowed when he moved and was armed with a dark slender smooth-handled blade, which he wielded with confident proficiency. If Naruto hadn't been furious at having been trapped, and afraid of Kyuubi's growing panic, he would have been worried about Sasuke.

'Kakashi said you have to pop it. Use your claws to stab, not slash.'

Kyuubi paid no attention. He had been clawing and slashing, simply raging away, from the moment they had been contained. With every second that passed, his thoughts made less sense, getting further away. Naruto forced himself to remain calm. Someone had to think rationally. If Kyuubi was losing it, that meant he absolutely couldn't.

He eased forward, but not enough to take control. Kyuubi didn't seem to hear him. If he did take control now, Kyuubi would respond to it as a threat. The last thing Naruto wanted was to fight with his fox right now. They had done that before. It was messy, accomplished nothing, and it would take them so deep into the back of his mind that they would have no idea what was happening outside them.

Focusing on his right arm, he imagined it was injured. He could feel the itchy burn as his energy moved to the spot. Not the fiery kind that had exploded on him earlier, but the healing kind he couldn't see. The arm jerked, claws twitching inward, and Kyuubi froze. His shoulders remained hunched, defensive, but he was paying attention now.

'What are you doing?'

'I don't know,' Naruto admitted. 'Kakashi said you have to pop it. Clawing isn't working. It has to be hard, sharp and hard enough to punch through.'

Kyuubi's eyes snapped shut. He remained like that for a long while, muscles trembling, breaths coming in furious bursts. Then he grinned. 'Thinking rationally, Brat?'

'Yeah,' Naruto shrugged. 'One of us has to.'

'Better than last time,' Kyuubi huffed. 'With Iruka.'

Naruto's resolve tightened, closing like steel bands around his shoulders and back. He could almost see it. 'That will never happen again. We're too dangerous to lose control. There's no point getting out of here if we lose ourselves doing it.'

'He shouldn't have caged you.'

'Or you,' said Naruto. 'I know. We'll tell him that when we get out of here.'

'Can we?'

Kyuubi was controlling himself, waiting, looking to him. That show of confidence was enough to make him heady. 'Of course we can. I've just gotta start thinking like a disembodied fox.' He shook himself and then looked up at the top of the bubble, then higher at the sky above. He could see Sasuke fighting in the distance, darting in to a clash of metal and then away again. Was he still in the bubble? Was he? 'Kyuubi?'

'I can't go,' Kyuubi growled. 'If you float off, I can pull you back. If we both go, this body will die.'

'Why would it? Ino left hers. It was still waiting when she came back. But we do need something to hop into.' He was outside the bubble. He was sure of it. Looking down, he could see it, almost feel the smooth surface. What was it made of? He was standing on it. No, he shifted, sitting on it. It was so smooth, so perfectly round on top, that if he wasn't careful he would slip right off and land in the grass. Suddenly he felt giddy, rolling in possibilities regardless of what was happening at the moment. A low growl from Kyuubi brought him back to earth, if not quite literally.

"Whoa!" a voice cried. "What's with the pink beach ball?"

Naruto whipped around and had to scramble not to fall off the bubble. He still couldn't see his body, if he even had one, but his sense of balance told him his seat was a precarious one. Two people had approached while they were distracted. They were wearing long black coats just like Sasuke's attacker. One was the orange-haired boy with the camera, Lavi. The other was a smaller white-haired teen with strange marks on one side of his face. He remembered Sasuke's warnings. The boy's hair was too short to be the doctor, but he could have been the other one, the flunky.

'I knew it!' Naruto yelled, glaring at Lavi. 'You are FS, aren't you!'

They didn't see or hear him. They were looking at Kyuubi and the bubble. The white-haired one reached out a red hand that appeared to be covered in tiny scales and touched the bubble. With a yelp, he was thrown clean off his feet.

"Damn," Lavi exclaimed. "What is that thing? Hey. Are you trapped in there? Need some help?" He was addressing Kyuubi as if he didn't even notice Kyuubi's slashing energy and bared teeth.

'Ask him to pop it,' said Naruto. 'Find out what they're doing here.'

'It's obvious what they're doing here,' Kyuubi spat. 'They're with him,' and his gaze snapped to the two fighting across the way. 'They have the same reek.'

"I haven't heard anything about this," Lavi was saying, circling the bubble with care not to actually touch it. "The little Uchiha did this?" He shot a look at his companion, who had gotten back to his feet.

"There is no record of him having a talent like this," the white-haired boy said. "He didn't have it in any of Lenalee's visions. He must have gotten it from a wild card."

"Think Yuu could pop it?" asked Lavi.

"Not a chance."

"Damn," Lavi breathed. He flashed an impressed grin at Kyuubi. "And you can't get out of there?"

Kyuubi snarled, his face so distorted Naruto barely recognized it as his own. His energy flared, curling wildly all along the inside of the bubble. Naruto hissed and squirmed as the top of the bubble heated beneath him. 'You're going to burn me, Kyuubi!' He caught himself the moment he said it. Kyuubi caught it, too. The fox's head snapped back to look up at him. Naruto held his breath. 'Can you see me?'

'I see something...'

The two strangers followed Kyuubi's gaze. The marks on the white-haired boy's face glowed and his left eye filled with red. He immediately backed away, pulling the other one with him.

"What do you see?" asked Lavi.

"Trouble."

"Ah, hell..." Lavi threw his hands up. "See? This is why I don't deal with wild cards. Get in, get her done, get out. They just have to over-complicate everything! Remind me why I do this?"

"To keep Kanda from killing the wrong person?"

"Right..."

Sasuke was aware of the new arrivals, but he didn't have time to care. He and Kakashi had done everything in their power to breach that shield from the outside. Nothing worked. Naruto would be safe as long as he lived to let him out when this was over. He would. His opponent was the one Kabuto had warned him about. He was faster than him, stronger, and undeniably skilled with his weapon of choice. But he wasn't fighting to kill and that gave Sasuke all the edge he needed.

He set out to match him, staying on the defense. He copied everything, learning the swordplay so he could deflect and duplicate each attack. He remained one step behind, forced to shield each time he was struck with something new. His opponent delivered those 'surprises' with visible contempt. If Sasuke hadn't been experienced at fighting losing battles, he might have been enraged by the guy's attitude toward him. Instead, he let himself be toyed with, looked down on. He was learning from this, improving. The longer it went on, the more convinced his opponent was that Sasuke posed little challenge and absolutely no threat to him. His mistake was over confidence. Sasuke had learned that lesson a long time ago.

He waited until the guy repeated one of the moves Sasuke had already learned to deflect. Sasuke reacted the same, sword angled across his chest to take the impact and shove away afterward. Except this time when the attack came he laced his blade with currents and added an enforced left-handed blow to the midsection. He felt the lower ribs crack before the guy was thrown backward. For a moment he lay where he had fallen. Sasuke knew better than to press the advantage. The fight so far had been nothing but energy enforced strength and speed. There was no telling what his actual talent was.

The teen rose to his feet, wiping the back of his hand over his mouth. He looked at the blood there. Then he spoke for the first time. "Can you fight?" He grinned and moved his sword behind his back. His other hand followed. When he brought his hands forward again, he had two identical swords, the hilts connected by a visible chain of white energy strung along behind him. He came, faster than before, and now Sasuke was truly on the defensive.

He blocked blow after blow, using both hands to keep his grip on the sword. He had used too much energy taking Kyuubi's attacks. Now he used just enough to keep his blade from breaking. It wasn't enough engergy to keep the weapon from being knocked away. With a grin, his opponent swooped down on him. He caught one blade in each hand. They were reinforced with something not unlike his own electrical current. The energies clashed and singed them both. They recoiled and Sasuke spewed fire at him. The swords crossed, slicing through the flames just as his own chidori had cut Kyuubi's energy earlier.

When the swords came down, the mutant changed. His energy flared white around him, flowing down the length of the swords until they looked like white fiery wings on either side of him. Black vein-like tendrils crept up to the edge of his face and marks appeared in his eyes. In that instant, they looked too much like the sharingan.

Sasuke didn't realize he was summoning a chidori, pouring all of his energy into it with no thought of defense. Kakashi might have been proud. He was only aware of those eyes. Then his opponent moved and they were rushing toward each other.

.-.

Since Tiedoll had deliberately gotten them away from the house, Kakashi did his part to keep them away as long as possible. Something was happening there, undoubtedly with Sasuke right in the thick of it. They could have gone right back, let Iruka worry and possibly even go looking for the kid, could have gotten caught up in the mess. The fact was, everything he knew about Sasuke told him the less other people interfered, the less harm came to them and to Sasuke himself. Sasuke's method of dealing was to get it over with quickly, with as little fuss as possible, and then to forget about it. The last thing he would need or want was a concerned Iruka fluttering around him. That Kakashi's detour of choice just so happened to result in a tipsy Iruka was simply a perk of being such a considerate person.

"They have no right," Iruka was saying, his eyes stormy as he stared into his drink. "Investigating? Prying is more like it. Sticking their nosy little fingers into other people's business is more like it. So what if there are a limited number of futures? What gives them the right to decide for everyone else which future is best? And that 'we just want to record' bit? If he hadn't come, then you wouldn't have considered rushing Sasuke out of here, so the business with the airport wouldn't even be a possibility! The fact that they saw that as a potential future proves their predictions are based on their own interference, dependent on their own interference! Who is to say things wouldn't be just fine if they stayed out of it? They can't say! Because their own involvement is requisite in order for them to say anything!"

"You're getting too worked up over this," said Kakashi. "If you don't want involved, turn the kid away when he gets here."

"Just like that?"

"Why not?"

Iruka waved his hand with a humorless laugh. "Why not, indeed." He sobered just as quickly, his tone far too casual. "Did you by chance notice he didn't say anything about the 'control' portion of their organization? Why do you think that is?"

Kakashi hummed, pretending to actually think about it. "Because you're a nice caring fellow who wouldn't want to hear all the messy details of the mutants they kill?"

"There you have it. If I had refused, what do you think they would have done?"

"Nothing," Kakashi smiled. "Nothing at all. You had me there to protect you."

"Oh, but to hear him tell it, they know everything about you. Staying for a year? So much for our fling. And here I had such plans for this evening..."

Kakashi almost jumped over the table. "Now hold on. I think we have established that these guys are nutjobs. The fact that they're voluntarily messing with Sasuke's brother - the ultimate nutjob, trust me - just proves their nutjobness. I may not have any visions of the future, but I know mutants, nutjobs included. These guys talk big, and there may be some truth to what they say, but they're playing with fire. There are mutants out there...who make Sasuke's brother look like a sweet little kitten. They're probably watching these guys right now. Like he said, we mutants deal with our own. If they want to go around playing God, well...let's hope they enjoy their moment in the spotlight. It'll be brief."

They sipped at their drinks for a while. Eventually, Iruka sighed and rubbed a hand over his eyes. "I don't want one of them in my house."

"Do you want me to find Tiedoll and tell him you changed your mind?"

"Yes," Iruka admitted. "But don't. He said after this one week, they wouldn't bother anyone in the house again. Better to get it over with..."

Kakashi rose and moved his chair so they were next to each other. He rubbed a hand on Iruka's shoulders and frowned when he seemed to wilt at the contact.

"You know," Iruka started, "when I came up with this idea, I thought the only people I'd have to worry about were bigots and bill collectors. I went to-" He winced. "I took measures to ensure that military factions like OZ wouldn't even glance this way. I thought Bunchu would be here to help with any mutant troubles, before anyone even moved into the house. If he were here, this wouldn't be happening."

"I'm here," Kakashi frowned.

Iruka took one look at him and laughed so hard he almost spilled his drink. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, "but-" He glanced over and had to muffle another laugh. "You look so insulted."

"I am," Kakashi muttered.

"I didn't mean it that way," said Iruka. "Honestly. I'm sure you can be dependable...if you tried really, really hard." He snickered. "But you have nothing in common with Bunchu. He's one of a kind."

"Are you trying to make me jealous?" That sent Iruka into another fit of laughter. Kakashi took his drink away before he could spill it all over himself. "I think you've had enough."

Iruka came down with a little sigh. He leaned back, bumping shoulders with Kakashi. "Take me home?"

"I can do that."

.-.

When Sasuke's sword was knocked away, Kyuubi roared. Naruto froze. The two strangers reacted a moment later, their tones impossibly casual and completely inappropriate.

"They're going to kill each other," the white-haired one remarked.

"Ah, hell," Lavi groaned.

The two took off running across the field. Naruto followed them without a moment's thought. The white-haired one got there first. His arm deformed into something huge and pale, slamming into the long-haired teen and pushing him clear.

Sasuke skidded to a halt, his expression vaguely confused. Then he spotted Naruto and his mouth dropped open. He took one step toward him and stopped. "Naruto...?"

"Damn moyashi!" The swordsman shoved his way up. He lurched toward Sasuke, only to have his path blocked by Lavi. "Out of my way!"

The white-haired one rushed to block him as well. Both hands were normal size again and held out to either side of him. "You test," he said quickly. "That's all. Test, not kill."

"Or be killed by him," muttered Lavi. He received a vicious glare and winced away.

Naruto edged toward Sasuke. The chidori had faded, but Sasuke was still staring at him with the strangest expression, lost, confused. He wished they were alone so he could hug him, kiss him, tell him everything was going to be okay. A raged roar brought him back to his senses.

"Let me out!" Kyuubi bellowed.

Naruto looked behind him. He would have fallen over if Sasuke hadn't suddenly been there to catch his shoulders. The bubble was still there. Kyuubi was still trapped within it. And he looked very unhappy about it. Naruto gaped. The hands on his shoulders gripped tightly for a second, then the bubble faded away. Kyuubi immediately charged toward them.

So much for the shield, Sasuke thought. He stared at the two Naruto's. Aside from the eyes, teeth, and wild energy Kyuubi was manifesting, they were identical. He couldn't tell which was real. Or were they both real? Had they split apart or was this something else? One of the newcomers was speaking to him. Sasuke snapped to attention.

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience," the white-haired boy said. "We're only here to test you. Kanda was a little too eager, is all." A growl from the swordsman answered that. "I was supposed to get here first so we could introduce ourselves and ask for a quick spar."

"A spar," muttered Lavi. "Not a knock-down drag-out kill-each-other fight."

"We're part of an organization that-"

"I don't care," said Sasuke. "He attacked Naruto."

Lavi's eyes widened and he rounded with a reproachful, "Yuu!"

"He was in my way," Kanda sneered.

"We don't deal with wild cards," Lavi scolded. "You know better than that."

"I'm very sorry," the white-haired boy said, earnestly. "We have no intention of making an enemy of you. We simply wanted to test you and make sure that-"

"It was a waste of time," Kanda interrupted. He sheathed his now-solitary sword and sent a long look at the two Narutos, a suggestive look that made Sasuke want to attack him again. The sneer he gave Sasuke told him it was intentional. "It will be years before you're good enough to be useful." He turned and walked away.

"Really," the apologetic boy started again, shifting to catch Sasuke's eye. "We didn't mean any harm. We just wanted to make sure you weren't another Itachi. With all the sociopaths running around, one insane Uchiha is more than enough."

"Are you the ones who killed his people in Japan?" asked Sasuke.

The boy flinched back with a wounded look. "Only the insane ones. Itachi did the rest of it on his own."

"Why?"

"Maybe because you're already stronger than them. Maybe because he was bored with them and had nothing better to do. He is insane, right?"

The two turned to go. Sasuke took a step after them. "You don't stand a chance against him."

The orange-haired boy glanced back, grinning. "Neither do you. But that hasn't stopped you, has it?"

Watching them go, Sasuke shook his head in disgust. He wondered what Itachi would do with them. Copy them, kill them, maybe send the swordsman after him again. There was a lot he could learn by fighting him again. That thought brought him back to his own sword. He turned, spotting it in the grass. It was useful. With a little practice-

Naruto interrupted his thoughts with a heavy punch to the face. It knocked him back onto his ass. He sat there stunned, one hand rising to his burning jaw. Naruto stomped toward him. Then the other Naruto, the red-eyed one, grabbed the first and hissed a furious 'Mine!' into his face. The duplicate disappeared in a haze of displaced air. Sasuke started to get up, but Kyuubi pounced, knocking him back and holding him there at full strength.

Kyuubi spoke with cold fury. "Never do that again."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. He would do it again. And next time he would put the duplicate into a protective shield as well. As if reading his thoughts, Kyuubi shook him, violently, before freezing completely. Sasuke was thrown by the erratic behavior.

Suddenly Kyuubi grinned. "Do you remember what I said the last time we were in this position?" Sasuke's mouth shot open. He didn't give him a chance to react. He shoved his head back and to the side and bit him, high on the shoulder, hard and deep.

Teeth clenched tight, Sasuke refused to scream. He coated his hands with energy and raked them across Kyuubi's back, shredding it, drawing more blood than the bite. Kyuubi growled, biting harder, grinding against bone. Sasuke dug his hands deeper for a moment, then his lips curled. He took a deep breath. Seconds later Kyuubi was rolling in the grass, hair singed and the back of his shirt burnt clean away. Then they were staring at each other, dark menacing looks. Sasuke wanted to fight him again, all out, until one of them, preferably Kyuubi, was a bloody broken mess. He was seriously considering going for the sword when Kyuubi grinned.

"Rematch?" Kyuubi taunted.

Sasuke sniffed. On second thought, he didn't want to give him the satisfaction of a fight. "Only if you tell me what really happened the first time you woke up."

All expression left Kyuubi's face, though his tone was simple curiosity. "What makes you think I remember more?"

"Because you told Naruto you didn't. And you're a liar."

Kyuubi stared at him for a long time. His expression was calm, studious, making him distinctly nervous. Finally, he gave a toothy grin.

"Another time," Kyuubi drawled. He relaxed, closing his eyes and letting himself fall back into his mind.

Naruto was startled to find himself back in control, just like that. For a moment, he was distracted. 'You remember more than you told me?'

Kyuubi didn't answer. He curled comfortably and sighed. 'Do you still like him?'

'Huh? Why?'

'Because I have decided to keep him,' Kyuubi murmured.

A wave of jealousy swept over Naruto, then confusion at his own possessiveness. He stared at his fox, who was already rumbling his way toward sleep. How could Kyuubi go to sleep after a comment like that? And they had things to talk about! His own memories were strange. He remembered being in the second body, but he also remembered being trapped with Kyuubi and watching the look-alike run off. He remembered sliding off the bubble and running toward Sasuke, but he also remembered being tugged back into his mind and seeing the body run off without him. It was so strange. He hadn't been aware of anything that second body had done until Kyuubi had grabbed it and somehow made it vanish. Since that moment he had been aware of both memories and trying to reconcile them was making his head hurt.

Nearby movement caught his attention. Sasuke was pulling on the collar of his shirt, trying to inspect the bite. Naruto cringed as soon as he saw it. His hands curled into fists, but he wasn't about to apologize. Sasuke should never have trapped them like that. He knew as well as Kyuubi that Sasuke had every intention of doing it again. And if he did pull that shit again, Naruto would let Kyuubi bite him again, even harder.

Despite the anger roiling in his gut, he couldn't help but ask. "Are you okay?" The look Sasuke sent him made him want to punch him again. He crouched down to glare at him instead. "You're a real bastard."

Sasuke's hand shot out, catching him by the hair and pulling him into a brief kiss meant to silence and confuse. It worked perfectly. He immediately shoved Naruto back onto his ass and went over to retrieve his sword.

Glaring, Naruto licked his lips. "A real bastard," he repeated. Then he was up, tackling Sasuke to the ground, kissing him back, and dodging when Sasuke tried to punch him for it. He pulled away and this time they both stayed seated, matching each other glare for glare. "Never do it again, Sasuke."

"I'll do whatever I have to do."

Naruto was reminded of their talk in Sasuke's room. When Sasuke said no to something it was impossible to compromise. His arms curled around his stomach. He was so frustrated. Kyuubi's adrenaline and fear were still coursing through his body. Yes, fear, because in the end Kyuubi had panicked as badly as Sasuke had at being restrained. He crawled toward Sasuke, watching him tense more the closer he got, preparing himself for something violent because it always came down to violence with him. When they were just inches apart, Naruto stopped. He stared at him, trying to put as much sober determination into his eyes as possible. He knew he had won when Sasuke was the first to look away.

"If you can master even the most rudimentary defense, I might not have to do it again."

Naruto shook his head, knowing that was as good as he would get. He leaned forward, kissing his bruising cheek and pulling him into a tight hug. "A real bastard," he sighed. "But you're my bastard."

"Idiot."

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

The house was dark when Iruka opened the door. The walk back seemed to have cleared his head. At least, there hadn't been any more bouts of laughing depression. He locked the door behind them, nodded to Kakashi, and went off to check on his kids.

The television was on in the livingroom, Kiba and Akamaru stretched out in front of it, with Lee seated nearby and talking animatedly. They looked over when Iruka came in.

"Has everyone else gone to bed already?" he asked in surprise.

Kiba shrugged. "Mostly. The sloth is in the kitchen. Naruto is out back getting pounded by that jerk of his."

"Can't they go one day without fighting?" scowled Iruka. He started down the hall, muttering about 'power struggles' and 'do they have prove the nutjob right?'

Kakashi shook his head, amused that Iruka had apparently adopted his pet name for Tiedoll, and impressed by the way Iruka had automatically interpreted the world 'pounded' in a nonsexual way.

Kiba stared over at him. "You know that ain't the kind of pounding I'm talking about, right?"

"I know," Kakashi smirked.

"I know it's none of my business and all," Kiba started. "But if that asshole comes in here reeking of Naruto's blood again, I think you ought to do something. Naruto is a nice guy and Iruka would be really upset if he found out he was getting his ass reamed by that sadist."

Kakashi was speechless.

Kiba winced, looking away. "None of my business," he muttered. "I know it ain't, I just don't think it's right, is all."

Kakashi coughed, forcing his lungs to work again. "What makes you think Naruto is on the receiving end?"

"The grass stains all over the back of his clothes were a dead give away."

Lee nodded sagely. "The receiver in a relationship lies on his or her back during intercourse."

Kiba shook his head in pity. Lee repeated that as if it were gospel. He had probably gotten it from Ino. "Or on hands and knees," he told him. "His knees were pretty stained up, too."

Kakashi didn't let himself laugh, at least not out loud. "Naruto is a big boy. I'm sure he can take care of himself." He wanted to be there when Sasuke found out they were discussing his sex life, and when Naruto found out he was the abused bottom in the relationship.

"We should stage an intervention," said Lee.

Kiba quirked an eyebrow at him. "What's that?"

Kakashi left them to it. Whatever had happened during their absence clearly hadn't involved those two. He found Shikamaru sitting by himself at the kitchen table. In the dark. Sipping a cup of juice with a tired grimace. "No hovering Iruka?"

"No point," Shikamaru muttered. "My stomach is the size of a grape."

"Vitamins?" Kakashi guessed. Shikamaru grumbled an affirmative. "He did the same thing to Sasuke. At least you're not alone."

"Mnh. Juice and milk don't mix..." With one more grimace, he took off for the bathroom, almost running Kakashi over on his way out.

Iruka, as Kakashi should have known, was in the dining room, looking out a back window. He was taken back by the happy little smile he wore. "They're not fighting?" Or any other kind of pounding?

"No. Look."

Kakashi took a peek. Naruto was seated on one of the rocks with Sasuke crouched in front of him and holding one of his hands. Their bowed heads gave them the appearance of being in intimate discussion with each other. Only someone who could see in the dark would know what they were actually doing. Kakashi decided not to correct Iruka's interpretation of the scene. He was glowing too much to ruin it.

Sasuke noticed the spying, but gave no outward sign of it. He didn't want to distract Naruto. Naruto honestly didn't know anything about energy. He used it purely by instinct, blind luck, random chance. Even the healing, which happened immediately with Kyuubi, was automatic. Having seen the fiery red energy and the more subtle orange both working at the same time during their fight, Sasuke had to conclude that the two were completely separate.

Kyuubi had treated the red as a weapon, almost as an extra limb. Sasuke wondered if the fox was using it to compensate for his lack of tails. Nine tails. If he could form nine individual 'arms' from that red, he would be much more versatile. Since Naruto was so ridiculously touchy about his fox, Sasuke didn't mention his suspicion. He would have to bring it up with the fox himself. Naruto had told him his attempt to shield with the red had resulted in that explosion earlier. He apparently had no control over it at all.

That left the orange. It would have been so much easier if Naruto could actually see it. "When you climbed onto the roof you made it thick, made it stick to the surface for traction to boost you up."

"I did?"

Sasuke sighed. So that was another instance of instinct slash blind luck. He scraped a fingernail over the back of Naruto's hand, causing him to yelp quietly and tug. "Heal it with as little energy as possible."

"You cut me," Naruto blurted.

"Heal it."

"I can't believe you just cut me!"

Sasuke scowled in frustration. "You wouldn't cut yourself. You're not going to learn to control this unless you practice doing it deliberately."

"You could have at least warned me first," muttered Naruto. He concentrated and the little wound closed.

"You used way too much."

"Wait!" Naruto pulled his hand away. "You're going to cut me again?"

Sasuke leveled a cool stare on him. "Is your tolerance for pain really that low?"

Face twisting, Naruto promptly stuck his hand back out. "Okay, do it again."

He did. Then he ground his teeth. "You just used even more than last time."

"But I was trying to use less!"

"I think you're just going to have to get used to the bubble," Sasuke sighed.

"No!" Naruto snapped. He waggled his hand. "Do it again."

"Naruto-"

"Cut me, Sasuke!"

A low whine drew their attention to the dog standing a few feet away. Akamaru's tail was tucked between his legs, his ears tilted back. He whined once more before slinking off around the corner of the house.

"What's his problem?" Naruto muttered.

In the hall upstairs, Kakashi had waylaid Iruka before he could disappear into his room. "I'd like to hear more about this list," he said, directing him to his office. The frown Iruka sent him said he would rather not have been reminded of it. He didn't protest, though.

"I have a copy of it," Iruka admitted. "It's a few years old, second generation mutants only, as far as I know."

"Do they keep separate lists depending on age?" asked Kakashi. He casually shut and soundproofed the office door while Iruka was busy at his desk.

"No, I think they just didn't have many of the first generation identified at the time. They do seem more interested in teenagers. I assume that's because they're easier to identify, since their parents actually know what they are these days." Iruka unlocked the file cabinet next to his desk and looked through the folders. The first page of the report was a blue gray laminated sheet with a silver 'R' stamped on it. He handed it to Kakashi. "I got it when I was in Japan, adopting Naruto."

"Is he in here?" asked Kakashi. He flipped through the pages. It was simply a list of names in no seeming order, with an eleven digit number next to each.

"Middle of page forty-one. Tenka is in there, too. He had just started messing with their facilities when I left for Japan."

Kakashi skimmed through it more carefully. There were no Uchihas, or any other names he recognized. "Surely they had identified more mutants than this."

"Those are just the ones they considered a threat at the time. The entire registry is much longer. And confidential."

This list was confidential, too, or Kakashi didn't know anything about seedy military operations. How did something like this fall into the hands of a quiet little teacher-type? "Why is Naruto on here, then?"

"Because. He has a great capacity for destruction," Iruka said quietly. Whether Oz had been involved in Naruto's awakening or not, they had certainly taken note of it. "He isn't on there now."

Kakashi's eyebrows rose. "How did you manage that?" Iruka blushed, his gaze dropping to lock on his folded hands. "Oh, really," he drawled in a teasing tone. He slipped his mask down while Iruka was distracted. "Surely you didn't sleep with the enemy just for a favor. Not you, Mister 'I don't have flings', surely not..."

"No," Iruka winced. "It was just...someone hoping to get back on my good side."

"And it failed? Too bad for him." He tossed the report on the desk. Then he leaned close, fingers creeping over the tensed muscles on the back of Iruka's neck. The moment Iruka glanced up, he swooped in for a kiss.

Maybe it was the mask that made Kakashi's lips so soft, much too soft for a man. Although Iruka had always considered himself more gay than bi, he had kissed his share of girls as a teen. Kakashi put them to shame, making his own lips feel leathery and chapped in comparison. Of course he was much more interested in Kakashi's tongue than his lips, but his thoughts refused to focus and he wasn't up to arguing with them.

His hands slipped up to tug on Kakashi's hair and the back of his shirt. He was aware of being drawn up out of the chair, but not of the transfer to the couch. His attention was locked on the suffocating kiss, trying to prolong it. Kakashi kept frustrating him, pulling away to catch his breath, as if breathing was really that important. He conceded finally, shifting to kiss the underside of his jaw, then his finely shaped collar bone. When had Kakashi taken off his shirt? Or had Iruka done that for him? He closed his eyes, trying to remember. Hands were kneading his stomach, fingers dragging along the small of his back so the muscles loosened with a fluid ache. Well, whoever had taken off Kakashi's shirt should have taken his off as well. It was a crying shame to have cloth in the way of those hands.

One of his own hands left Kakashi's back to trail over his chest. His nipples really were quite nice, dusky, and so sensitive. A light rub of his thumb had Kakashi grinding into him, panting in his hair. Seeking a more vocal response, he flicked his tongue out, teasing, adding a quick pinch of teeth.

"Iruka..."

Much better. He liked hearing his name called in such a breathless tone. What the hell had he been thinking, denying himself this? It was just a fling, but what a fling. And those hands. Kakashi was massaging him through his pants, so good, dizzying. If he wasn't careful he would come early, and probably hard enough to pass out.

If anything could have brought him out of it, that did the trick. His eyes snapped open and he pushed against Kakashi. "Wait," he blurted. "Wait..."

Kakashi took heart at that, somewhat. Wait wasn't the same as stop. But he wasn't about to let Iruka rationalize it all again and stop them cold turkey. He shifted on the couch, ducking to suck on Iruka's neck, drawing a ragged groan as those hips thrust up into him. "More excuses?" he murmured, lapping and teasing his skin.

Iruka forced his hips to be still, tilting his head away. "I've been drinking."

"So have I."

That mouth nuzzled closer. His hand slid under Kakashi's chin and pressed, levering him back so he had to meet his eyes. "It makes me sleepy."

Kakashi pouted at him. "Sleepy sex is nice, too."

"Not for me."

One look into that sober gaze and Kakashi groaned. When had he become so nice? He stretched out to lie on him, bonelessly, cuddling but not rubbing. "Pop your pill, then," he sighed. "I'll just...keep the bad dreams away."

Iruka flinched, his expression shocked. "You'd molest me in my sleep?"

"Just a little?" Kakashi conned. He shifted his body so his full weight kept him pinned beneath him.

"Kakashi-"

"If I let you up, you'll run for your room and lock me out."

For a grown man, Kakashi had the woebegone pout of a five year old. Iruka snorted and pushed the man off him. As narrow as the couch was, he rolled right off the edge. Iruka rose. He still felt shaky, sensitive, and more than a little turned on. He hid it with as prim an expression as he could muster. Kakashi remained seated on the floor, pouting reproachfully as he pulled his shirt back on. Iruka didn't so much as glance at him. He replaced the list and headed for the door. There, he paused but didn't look back. "For your information, I haven't installed a lock on my door yet."

Kakashi gaped, staring after him. Then he pulled his mask back up over a wide smile. If that wasn't an invitation, he didn't know what was.

.-.

Sasuke was sitting at his desk when Kyuubi scratched at his door. He didn't know why the fox hadn't snuck right in as usual, but wasn't complaining about the change. That session with Naruto hadn't gone well. He couldn't figure out what the problem was. Naruto couldn't tell whether he was using less or more. He should have been able to feel the difference. Naruto said it itched when it moved and burned when a lot of it moved all at once. When he tried to move just a bit of it, there was no itch so he couldn't tell if he was using it at all. There had to be a way around that. He still hadn't come up with one when the fox showed up.

Sasuke gave him the chair and sat on the bed, legs folded beneath him. "Naruto's asleep?"

"Of course."

"And you know what we were trying to do?"

"I'm not interested in that," said Kyuubi. He turned the chair, straddling it and bracing his arms on the back. "Do you really want to know what happened that time?" Sasuke sat straight up. "Take off your shirt." The immediate glare was predictable and amusing. Kyuubi smirked. "You give, I give."

Sasuke shook his head. "Why did you lie to Naruto?"

"I didn't, not really. I just...withheld things he didn't need to be reminded of. He's fragile, you know. Like you." As expected, Sasuke snorted at him. He was very on guard against him and while his attempt to act casual might have fooled Naruto, Kyuubi saw right through it. "Naruto didn't want me to play that game with the rest of you. Truth or dare? Show and tell. You show and I'll tell."

"I thought you wanted a rematch," Sasuke taunted.

"Another time. You wouldn't show him earlier. He wanted the scratches to be the first thing I saw." He gave a toothy smile. "I'm more interested in seeing the bite."

"And you'll stay right where you are?"

"No need for sarcasm," Kyuubi mocked. "I won't move. Show and tell doesn't involve touching. It involves showing and telling."

It was really a question of how much he wanted to know. The answer was, a lot. And as Kakashi had so happily pointed out, it was only a matter of time before Naruto saw him with more than his shirt off. Still, Sasuke felt cheap for doing it. He thought that was a good way to feel. He was satisfying a voyeur for a little information. His contempt for himself rid him of any embarrassment he might have felt as he pulled his shirt off. The fox gave one sweeping look over him and then waited expectantly for him to remove the bandages. There was no reaction to his scars. He hadn't thought there would be. Naruto would have cared, would have overreacted, his fox didn't. He took the bandage off the bite, a simple quick thing he had tossed on in case it seeped during the night. Kyuubi took a deep audible breath. Smelling the blood? He wouldn't be surprised. It took longer to uncover the scratches. They had crusted over, but the skin surrounding them was pink and agitated. He marveled that they hadn't split while he was rolling around earlier.

Kyuubi dropped his chin to rest on his arms, a satisfied smile curving his lips. It was disturbing, insulting even, to see that on Naruto's face. Sasuke quirked an eyebrow.

"He was crying," said Kyuubi. "That's what woke me up. The sound of him. Whimpering. I was inside a terrified little boy who didn't know who he was, didn't understand what was happening to him. There were people crowding around him, yelling, arguing, some holding him off the ground, twisting his arms back. One was cutting him, spitting questions at him. Who are you, who sent you, what did you see, whose side are you on? Yelling at him for answers, hurting him. He was so small, so easy to break, struggling and crying his heart out."

Kyuubi's expression was frightening. Sasuke had to steel himself not to move, not to back away from it.

"I hate it when he cries," Kyuubi murmured.

It was both a warning and a threat. Then Kyuubi grinned, his eyes as sadistic as any of the mutants Sasuke had lost to, the ones who had dragged his defeat out by hurting him slowly until he passed out, humiliating him, torturing him just because they could, anything as long as it wasn't sexual or deadly, the ones who had given him most of his scars, so conveniently hidden by his clothing that Kabuto had never bothered to heal them completely. Sasuke stared into those eyes and thought that the people who had hurt Naruto, whoever they had been, had certainly gotten what was coming to them. "So you killed them."

"Eventually."

"And you don't know how he got into that situation or who they were?"

"They were meat for the beast," Kyuubi said, grinning playfully. "Fodder to test me out. I didn't pass."

Sasuke leaned forward. "Then you do know who put him there."

"I don't. Naruto might, but he refuses to face it. I've caught glimpses of it," his eyes narrowed coldly. "Somewhere dark and metallic, isolated. There were no mutants there. I'm sure I would have woken sooner if there had been."

Not Orochimaru, then. But some sort of cell or prison. "Were there any mutants among the people you killed?"

"A few," Kyuubi shrugged. "None worth playing with before I ate them."

"Ate?" He immediately shut his mouth, glaring when the fox snickered. Of course he hadn't been serious.

"I simply tore them apart. Had there been women or children, I might have eaten a few bits and pieces, just the best parts. I prefer my meat tender."

Sasuke's face twisted. This time there was no laugh, just Kyuubi grinning at him as if daring him to doubt it. "What do you mean, you didn't pass?"

"He was in a hospital when Iruka found him. If I had passed, they would have taken him back to wherever he was before."

He said that as if it was obvious. To Sasuke it was. "What's the very last thing you remember?"

Kyuubi's eyes darkened. "Going back to him and licking his wounds." He gave a bitter, hateful smile. "I could have been free, but he was defenseless without me."

"You were outside of him? Like earlier?"

"No," Kyuubi snapped. He shifted in the chair, looking away, annoyance flitting over his face. "We were still together earlier." He had been tugged into that second body, with Naruto in control of it. He could still remember how infuriating it had been to have someone snap at them like that. But he had also been the one doing the snapping, not realizing he was in that second body the same as Naruto was. Naruto was right. Having two conflicting memories was a headache to deal with. He had essentially attacked himself in a fit of possessive anger. It was embarrassing. "We were both in that body just like we are in this one. Naruto did that." He grimaced. "I don't know how he did that. Yet."

"Could you separate?" Sasuke prodded. "Like you did that first time you woke up?"

"Maybe," Kyuubi muttered. "Not for long." It was different now. Something had changed while he slept. "If I did, he'd die."

"You'd care?"

Now that was an impertinent question. Kyuubi stared him down. "This body is far more convenient than my own for some things." His eyes slid over Sasuke's bare skin, leering this time. "You didn't have to worry. He's fascinated by scars. Me, I'd rather have made them myself." He rose and approached the bed. He stopped a foot away, just when Sasuke looked ready to snap. "Truth or dare. What does your brother do to you when he comes?" Sasuke's entire expression closed off. "Truth or dare," Kyuubi repeated.

"Nothing like that," Sasuke bit out.

"Nothing like what?" Kyuubi drawled. "I wasn't implying anything. I simply asked. What does he do? Or is it...what has he done...?" He eased closer until he was right against the bed, staring down into that blank face. "Truth or dare."

"Dare."

Kyuubi grinned. "Let me lick your wounds."

That snapped Sasuke out of his blank state. He recoiled with a weirded out expression on his face. "What? Why?"

"You made me remember unpleasant things. Give me something better to think about."

Sasuke felt that familiar disgust creep over him. He was reminded of that blue-eyed rogue. What was the attraction of touching someone who wasn't interested? It wasn't even about power, not if Kyuubi was asking him to allow it. So what was the point? "Is this sexual?"

"Only if you want it to be."

Sasuke snorted. "Are you really a cannibal?"

"Of course not. I'd never eat another fox."

"Bestiality isn't much better than cannibalism."

Kyuubi stared at him for a full minute. Then he sniffed. "You're such a prude." Sasuke bristled and Kyuubi ducked down until he was right on him, not touching, but close enough to breathe on his face. "Would you rather tell me what it is this brother of yours does that has you so traumatized?"

"I'm not-"

"Liar. You're terrified of him. Not of the attacks you talked about, just him, of seeing him. Why?" Sasuke was rigid, glaring, threatening to lash out or go blank again. Kyuubi snorted at him. "Hold still."

Sasuke froze, wincing and clenching his teeth. Goosebumps broke out on his arms. The bite hadn't seemed very close to his neck when he had gotten it. Now it was much too close. He steeled himself. At the first suspicion that Kyuubi was even thinking about biting him again, he would punch another hole through his gut. The fox could heal it afterward, and hopefully Naruto wouldn't feel it in his sleep. But Kyuubi didn't seem interested in biting. He wasn't even sucking on the wound, which Sasuke had half expected him to do, what with his obvious fetish for blood. He was just licking it. That was bad enough. The bite hurt. His entire shoulder felt sore and he had an idea it would be swollen by morning.

Kyuubi tilted his head, his tongue pressing and dragging, but not too hard. Thick blonde hair tickled Sasuke's cheek. Then he ducked to run his tongue along one of the scratches on his chest. Sasuke flinched back, almost recoiling. Red eyes flicked up at him, taunting and amused, and it was all he could do not to flush at his own lack of control. Kyuubi moved in again, pressing harder than he had on the bite. Dampness trickled down his stomach. Sasuke's upper lip curled. The fox was drooling on him. Why was he putting up with this?

The answer came swiftly. Because it was fair. He had gotten answers from Kyuubi. He had gotten much more than he had hoped for. The fox's descriptions had been so lurid he could imagine exactly what he had seen in disturbing detail. His sense of fair play said letting Kyuubi gloat over the sight of a few wounds wasn't enough. He should have answered his question in return.

He didn't want to answer that question. He didn't want to admit that he had no idea what Itachi did to him. Sometimes he didn't do anything but talk to him and Sasuke would listen without understanding half of what he said. But when he didn't talk, when he cornered him and his eyes changed, then...there was nothing. A blank spot. He came to still standing there, or crumpled on the ground, staring blindly at the place where Itachi had been, still trembling with tears drying on his face. There were no physical wounds, or mental ones, for that matter. It was simply finding himself that way, waking up panicked out of his mind, knowing he had cried so hard his nose had stopped up. He couldn't stand it. He would never share that with anyone, so if Kyuubi wanted to drool on him instead of pressing for an answer, then he would put up with it. The fact that he now had insight into what was probably the most traumatic event in Naruto's life told him he was still coming out ahead. He would have to do something to make it up to Naruto as well.

That tongue flicked over one of his nipples and Sasuke shoved him away. The scratches hadn't extended that far. Kyuubi laughed at him and went over to perch on the chair again. Sasuke didn't even bother to glare at him. Like Kakashi, Naruto's fox seemed to enjoy riling him and seemed to dislike being ignored. He put his shirt on and folded his arms over his chest. The cloth felt gross on his damp skin. He ignored that, too. "Satisfied?"

"Not even close," Kyuubi drawled, licking his lips.

"I am," Sasuke said bluntly. "Get out."

"What, no more questions for me?"

He thought about it. "One. What was the point of that?"

Kyuubi actually looked surprised. "Wasn't it obvious? I like the way you taste."

Sasuke shot off the bed with a grimace. "Get out of here."

"Touchy prude," Kyuubi sniffed, scowling at him. He rose and started to go, but turned back at the door. "Don't you want me to wake Naruto up for you? You can finally finish what the two of you started in here earlier." He flashed a knowing look. "You seemed to enjoy the way he tastes, too."

Instead of dignifying that with a response, Sasuke threw his knife at him. Kyuubi caught it with a quiet laugh. Shaking his head, he set it on the table. Then he left. Sasuke was surprised he actually left. He immediately braced the chair against the door, just in case. He didn't think he was worn out enough for the fox to sneak in without waking him, but he wasn't taking any chances. He snatched up his knife. It wasn't until he headed for bed, tugging his shirt away from the sticky bite, that it hit him.

He activated the sharingan and looked down. Sure enough, there was orange all over his chest and even more hovering at his shoulder. He cursed his own stupidity. He should have known. It must be so much easier with open wounds. Naruto might have learned from their encounter, but Kyuubi obviously hadn't. He went to bed fed up with the pair of them. As he closed his eyes, he wondered if Kyuubi had done the same thing when he had licked Naruto's wounds that time. He suddenly had a very bizarre image of Naruto licking an unconscious Naruto. That was messed up.

.-.

Kakashi felt tricked, cheated, played. He should have realized there was a catch. By the time he had entered the room, Iruka was half asleep. He had gotten a lifted edge of the blanket, one nuzzling 'be a good boy now,' and then Iruka was out of it while he was left very much awake - and horny - with a warm trusting dolphin nestled in his arms. Of course, being a born cuddler, he wasn't about to let go. As long as it had been since he had last gotten laid, it had been even longer since he had last gotten to snuggle. That didn't change the fact that Iruka had invited him into his bed just to warm it up while he slept.

Did he really trust him that much? True, he'd had some trouble with that moral roadblock of his when he had first seen him dead on his feet, but dead in bed was different. No, wait, dead in bed was worse.

He fidgeted. Could he molest him in his sleep? Just a little? He looked him over. Iruka was curled against him, all limp and pliant. He hadn't even taken his hair down, let alone gotten naked for him. How rude was that? He let his fingers do a bit of shoulder rubbing and didn't get so much as a sigh in response. Yeah, dead in bed was much worse.

He had left his headband and mask by the door. Now he looked him over with the sharingan. The shadow was there, thick enough to be disturbing, though he knew most of it would loosen up and start wearing off come morning. He played with it, partly to ignore his arousal, that was still stubbornly sticking around, and partly out of curiosity. He gathered energy around his hand and pushed it through that shadowy stuff until his fingers were ghosting Iruka's forehead. The energy curled around his hand, sticking, and when he lifted his hand away, some of it dragged out to follow. Once his hand was entirely clear, the brackish tint of the shadow faded back to Iruka's normal blue before merging into his own energy.

He was reminded of Iruka's reference to himself as a battery. Did he have any control over it at all when he was asleep and not drugged up? It seemed inclined to go toward any foreign energy it came into contact with. If he raised his energy now, with so much physical contact between them, he could probably suck him dry without Iruka even waking up. He paused for an amused moment to enjoy that fun turn of phrase. Then he sobered. While no expert on energy, he knew there was something wrong with that inclination. Even those mutants he had seen who could transfer energy had to force it out. It took a lot of effort because its natural inclination was to cling tight. He wondered if Iruka's energy was liable to just float away while he slept, or - a more disturbing possibility - to seek out the nearest mutant and transfer over automatically. That would certainly explain why Iruka hadn't wanted to talk about it. Naruto already had too much uncontrolled energy. Kakashi didn't want to imagine what the kid would be like hopped up on a bunch of excess energy that, according to Iruka, even his friend Tenka couldn't control.

He closed the sharingan, then shielded his energy. That was a useful trick that let him pose as human around those who could read energy signatures, and to 'disappear' around the especially tricky ones like Sasuke. With a long sigh, he curled around Iruka. That distraction had helped him with his not at all 'small' problem. He still considered Iruka a sadistic cock tease who had intentionally set this up to torment him. A test, maybe. But what made Iruka so sure he wouldn't take advantage of him? He supposed the alcohol could have impaired Iruka's judgment, leaving him too muddled to think this through. He doubted it, though. He was fairly sure the only reason Iruka limited the amount of alcohol he drank was because too much would interfere with that drug of his. On the other hand, Iruka hadn't been very steady in the office, and he had been drinking wine at Kurenai's, before his 'only so many' drinks at the bar.

He snuffled Iruka's hair. The man had a sly manipulative streak in there. His seemingly clueless sweet side just made people forget how quickly his mind worked. This probably was a set up.

"I don't know," he muttered to himself. "Either way, it doesn't change the fact that this sucks."

"Just go to sleep," Pakkun muttered from the foot of the bed.

Kakashi's eyebrow twitched. He levered himself up to scowl at the dog. "When did you come in?"

"When you were busy molesting him in his sleep."

"I haven't even started that yet," Kakashi snapped.

Pakkun sniffed. "Molesting his energy, molesting his body, same difference."

"Do you mind?" Kakashi glared. "I finally got him in bed with me, in case you didn't notice."

"It's not like you can do anything while he's sleeping, anyway. He doesn't move a muscle in his sleep." He snuggled comfortably in the blanket. "Unlike some people."

"Find another bed," Kakashi ordered.

"Sure thing, boss. You want I should pop over to the fox and ask to bunk with him because Iruka already has a bedmate for the night?"

Kakashi flopped back on the mattress, hugged Iruka closer, and glowered for all he was worth. This was not how he had imagined finally getting into Iruka's bed. The only good part of this debacle was that Pakkun's presence had effectively killed what was left of his libido. He swore, he was going to rent a hotel room, kidnap Iruka, and screw his brains out. This place would drive him insane.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Kyuubi was sitting on the front step when the sun came up. Over the last few days he had developed a habit of getting up the moment Naruto fell asleep and then dozing when he woke up. So far he hadn't strayed from the house. He had been content to watch Sasuke sleep, finding it endlessly interesting. He slept with his back facing the wall, so Kyuubi could see when his eyes moved under the lids. He dreamed every single night, sometimes all night long. More than once Kyuubi had been tempted to wake him up and see what color his eyes were.

This morning he was distracted, restless enough to prowl but unwilling to leave the house. He couldn't accept how many mutants were in town. He had been sure he would know if one came anywhere near him. But last night he had heard the swordsman, he hadn't sensed him. He hadn't even heard him until he was right there. In the bubble, he had let those two mutants get within touching distance. If they hadn't spoken he still wouldn't have noticed them. When he had left Sasuke's room last night, he'd had to intentionally focus on the house as a whole before he realized where Kakashi was. Even if that dog hadn't been with him and Iruka, Kyuubi would still have been more concerned with his own inattention. His instinct was to blame Sasuke for being such a huge distraction. But that wasn't a good enough explanation and he knew it.

Now he sat on the front step, watching the few cars pass by. Early commuters on their way to Sisco. The old man down the street had come out a little while ago, setting his porch up for his daily sidewalk watching. Despite his age, he noticed Kyuubi immediately and nodded at him. Kyuubi nodded back because Naruto would have. Aside from him and the cars, there were no distractions out here. And still he felt nothing from the strange mutants in town. He and Naruto had met four already, and Sasuke had met two more at the black-windowed house. He should have been able to pinpoint them. Rather, he had assumed he would be able to.

He had never had that assumption tested before. Either he had overestimated his own inherent abilities or what he had told Naruto was truer than he had thought and he really was more restricted in physical form. He couldn't look behind him without turning his head. He couldn't focus and monitor the surroundings without letting his eyes blur or closing them altogether. Even his hearing was affected. As loudly as the swordsman's coat had flapped, he should have heard him long before he came into sight. Furiously frustrating. He couldn't depend on Naruto to monitor their surroundings when he took control because he couldn't teach Naruto to do what he did instinctively when Naruto was in control.

The door opened behind him. Kyuubi tensed. Again! He knew who it was now that he was focusing, but he hadn't sensed anyone moving around in the house. How did Naruto stand constantly being this vulnerable?

"Naruto?"

"No," Kyuubi snapped. Facing the possibility that even his offensive talents were diminished when he was in control, he was in no mood to be nice. Despite the red eyed glare he snapped her, she sat down beside him. Naruto was to blame for this with his 'don't pay any attention' rant. Did Naruto want him chewing up his new friends?

"I'm sorry, Kyuubi-san," Sakura corrected herself.

That was another thing. By implying that he was only around when their eyes were red, Naruto had hidden the fact that he had been privy to every word they had spoken. This was the second time he had rated a 'san' from these brats. As if he were a complete stranger. Not that he cared. "What do you want?"

"I just saw you out here and thought I'd join you."

Join Naruto, she meant. He turned his full attention on her. With some bangs and plenty of exercise to tone up those legs she would definitely be fuckable. Small but perky breasts, pretty eyes, a nice fresh scent. She wasn't bad. He just wasn't the slightest bit interested.

"The boys were talking," Sakura said quietly. "I just wanted you to know that if you ever need someone to talk to..." She turned a concerned look on him. "I'd like to help."

"Help," Kyuubi repeated. "With what?"

"Sasuke-kun."

He had her on her back instantly, not giving her a chance to so much as gasp. She stared, frozen, shocked, so thin-skinned. He growled low in his throat. "He's mine. Keep your 'help'. Even if he wanted it, I'd never allow it. You're not my type. I prefer females who know how to use their bodies."

She slapped him. He was so surprised he reared back, giving her a chance to scramble free. Then she slapped him again. It was all he could do not to hit her back.

"Don't you ever talk to me like that again! Who do you think you are? You're nothing like Naruto at all, are you!"

"I said I wasn't him," Kyuubi snapped. "You're the one who came on to me, anyway, with your offer to 'help.'"

"I was not coming on to you! I was showing concern! For Naruto! It's no wonder he's in an abusive relationship, with someone like you in his head. And I thought sharing a body with Ino was bad." With a disgusted huff, she turned on her heel and stomped back into the house.

Kyuubi stared at the closed door. The sound of snorting laughter drifted down the street. He shot a glare at the old man, grumbling under his breath. On second thought, he supposed he was slightly interested in the harpy. She did have a mouth on her. He wouldn't mind putting it to better use.

.-.

Kakashi turned the alarm clock off at the first quiet peal. Too late. Iruka groaned, shifting and then stretching out of the curl he had been in all night. He sat up groggily, with a vacant expression that would put an actual zombie to shame. Then he turned his head, staring at the alarm clock. He remained that way for two full minutes.

"I turned it off," said Kakashi.

"Oh."

After a while, he started moving toward the edge of the bed. Kakashi caught him easily, snuggling into his back, chin dropping to his shoulder. "Where are you going?" He was surprised Iruka had even bother setting the alarm. Who got up at seven-thirty on a Saturday, anyway?

"I'm awake."

"I noticed," Kakashi murmured. His tone was casual. Frankly, he was appalled and amused. Could Iruka really be this out of it?

Iruka turned his head, staring right into his open eye. "Kakashi?"

The answer was clearly yes, Iruka was genuinely out of it. His eyebrow twitched. "Who did you think was in your bed?"

"You're in my bed...?"

"No," Kakashi drawled. "I'm just a figment of your imagination. In fact, this isn't even your bed. It's a porno set. You'd better start taking your clothes off before the director gets impatient with you."

The teasing went right over Iruka's head. He continued to stare. They were so close he could see the uneven way Kakashi's scarred eyelids met, a small gap in the lashes. His wild hair was messier than ever. Had he been standing on his head? There was some red in his open eye, indicating a poor night's sleep. Why was Kakashi in his bed? He repeated that thought out loud.

"You invited me," said Kakashi.

Yes, Iruka recalled doing that. But... "I didn't think you'd stay all night."

That settled it. This had been an evil scheme to drive him insane. Kakashi tightened his arms and glowered as well as he could with only one eye open. "What, did you expect me to throw a fit and storm off when you fell asleep on me?"

"Yes."

At least he was honest about it. And his expression was more confused than smug. Smug would undoubtedly come later. What Iruka didn't realize was that as far as he was concerned he now had a standing invitation. In fact, there was nothing to stop him from picking up where he had left off right now.

"Are you guys getting up or what?" Pakkun grumbled from the foot of the bed.

Except that...

Iruka pulled, trying to spot the dog. The voice had emanated from a conspicuous lump of blanket. "Pakkun? Stay for breakfast."

A dark nose peeked out. "You gonna shake me again?"

"No. I'm going to give you a flea bath and check for ticks."

Pakkun's entire head emerged at that, eyes narrow, ears perked. "Promise?"

"What?" Kakashi glowered. "You actually want a bath?"

"You kidding? Another week and ticks will be after me like flies on fresh road kill." He shrugged free of the blanket and nodded sharply at Iruka. "Got it. I'll stick around. Wasn't planning to take off right away, anyway."

Kakashi tightened his arms again, ignoring Iruka's attempt to shift off the bed. "I see what you're doing," he told him. "You think I won't try anything with the mutt watching." The look Iruka slowly turned on him radiated innocent confusion. He didn't buy it for a second. As vague as Iruka's expression had been since waking up, he probably didn't even have to try in order to add a dash of confusion to it. Just bringing his eyebrows closer together achieved the effect. Oh, he was good. "It's not going to work."

Iruka's lips pulled into a tiny frown. "I want coffee."

Pouting. The manipulative bastard was pouting at him. What was worse, it was working. That tired forlorn expression hit him like a ton of bricks. It was all he could do not to scoop him up and rush him downstairs for coffee and anything else he might want. Scratch that, Iruka was very good.

"Give?" Pakkun drawled, staring knowingly at Kakashi.

"For now," said Kakashi. Iruka clearly didn't understand the way this worked. He had spent the entire night in his bed, with his permission. As of this moment he was no longer restrained by any moral imperative whatsoever. Even molesting him in his sleep would only be considered kinky dream sex now. Sure, it might border disturbingly on necrophilia at first, but if Hiko had managed to wake him from a dead sleep then Kakashi could, too. With a wide smile, he placed a chaste kiss on Iruka's temple. "Let's get you some coffee, then."

.-.

Since there was no bed to roll Naruto off of, Kyuubi woke him by leaning close and admitting, 'I molested Sasuke last night.' It had the effect of a cattle prod. Naruto flinched, skittered away, and came up fighting mad. Kyuubi gave him a rough shove to the front.

Naruto almost fell over sideways when he suddenly found himself in control of his body. He had been dreaming about bodies, seven look-alikes all arguing at the same time about how they should spar, one on one, dogpile, janken. And then suddenly one of them had turned to him with Kyuubi's eyes and teeth and said-

'You did what last night?'

'Licked him,' said Kyuubi. 'On the bite and the scratches. They'll heal faster this way. He'd never show them to Iruka.'

Naruto scowled, feeling unnerved by the absence of those duplicates he had been arguing with. What was he doing on the front step? Kyuubi had come out here? After he had gotten done licking-

'You licked Sasuke?'

'First ground rule. You break it, you buy it.'

It took a few minutes for Naruto to understand what he was talking about. Kakashi's rule about injuries. 'Oh,' he frowned. 'Wait, are you saying you jumped him again and-'

Naruto was bordering on horror at the thought of a repeat of the last time they had 'healed' Sasuke. Kyuubi cut him off, 'He let me do it.'

Now came jealousy. Naruto knew Sasuke had enjoyed fighting with Kyuubi more than he had with him. That was bad enough. If Sasuke was letting the fox molest him, too, then...

'It wasn't sexual,' Kyuubi huffed. 'Not to him, anyway. We were playing that game of yours, Truth or Dare. He wouldn't answer my question, so I gave him a dare.' Kyuubi sniffed softly. 'He didn't even understand why I wanted to do it.'

Naruto settled down a little. He was still confused. Why had Kyuubi even bothered to tell him?

'Because he is bound to notice what I did. He'll probably take it out on you today.'

'Thanks a lot,' Naruto grumbled.

'Naruto,' Kyuubi said abruptly. 'Do I abuse you?'

'What?' Naruto gaped at the bizarre question. Kyuubi scowled, visibly defensive, glaring, his tails standing up in insulted tufts. Naruto could barely stop laughing long enough to form a question. 'What the hell are you talking about?'

'They think I abuse you,' Kyuubi snapped.

'Who?'

'Them. That pink harpy said I was abusive, that the 'boys' had been talking about it.'

'Sakura? She talked to you? When?'

'A few minutes ago,' Kyuubi growled. His tails lashed behind him and he sneered. 'She was 'concerned' about our 'abusive relationship' and offered to 'help' by taking Sasuke away from me.'

Naruto squinted in confusion. 'Are you sure it wasn't Ino? No, nevermind, you wouldn't mind a threesome with her. But why would Sakura think you were abusing me? I'm like the only person in the whole world you wouldn't abuse. Well, not including Iruka-sensei.'

'If I knew why, I wouldn't be asking you. She had the nerve to come on to me, insulted me, threatened to take what's mine, and when I warned the bitch off, she slapped me.'

Naruto couldn't believe it. 'She slapped you? You? Sakura did?'

'Twice!'

'Hold on,' Naruto mumbled. He couldn't wrap his brain around this. Yeah, he had seen her go off on Ino, but that was just words. For her to hit someone, especially Kyuubi...he must have done something to set her off. Naruto stumbled as he rushed inside. Though wide awake now, his coordination was still half asleep. He left Kyuubi grumbling in the back of his head and darted down the hall. He found her immediately, sitting by one of the windows in the livingroom, in quiet conversation with Lee. Their expressions when they saw him were as strange as Kyuubi's story.

"Naruto-kun?" asked Lee.

"Yeah," Naruto mumbled. They had greeted him with cold looks. Now their faces shifted into what almost looked like pity. What the hell had happened while he asleep? "Um, Sakura-chan? I heard you had an argument, or something, with Kyuubi?"

"Don't worry," she said quickly. "I wouldn't hold you responsible for that creep."

"Uh...thanks, I guess." He shifted, frowning at the two of them. Finally he burst, "I think there's some kind of misunderstanding or something. What made you think I was being abused?"

Ino spoke up from behind him, scaring the hell out of him. "Ignore them," she scoffed. "That stupid Dog-Boy put absurd ideas into Lee's head and Sakura, being the gullible fool she is, believed it."

Sakura jumped to her feet, her face flushed with anger. "Just because you don't want it to be true doesn't-"

"Naruto," Ino interrupted. "Is Sasuke abusing you?"

Naruto's mouth dropped open. It was too early for this. He tried to come up with an intelligent response and all that came out was a stilted, "Huh?"

"Is he abusing you?" she repeated. "Sexually?"

"Sasuke?" Naruto yelped. "What - but-" He turned on Sakura. "I thought you thought Kyuubi was abusing me!"

Lee put an arm around his shoulders. "No one has the right to hurt you. It's okay, Naruto-kun. We only want to help you."

"No," Naruto blurted. "Wait! Just...hold it. Where the hell did you get the idea I was being abused by anyone? I'm not- I...that's just-" He stopped, looked at them, and then sat down heavily on the floor. Sakura first, because if she had actually slapped Kyuubi, twice, then she had to be the most worked up. "Kyuubi doesn't do anything to me. We share a body. It would be like doing it to himself." Lee next, because his concerned expression was weirding him out. "No one is hurting me. At all. If someone even tried it, I'd kick his ass into next year." As for Ino... "You thought Sasuke was sexually abusing me?"

"Of course not," Ino huffed. "As if I'd ever believe the testimony of a dog."

"Akamaru overheard you last night," Lee said suddenly. "Even if you have been conditioned to enjoy pain, that does not-"

Kyuubi was howling with laughter. Howling. He was rolling around madly, looking as utterly ridiculous as this entire situation. Naruto was sorely tempted to go back there and kick the shit out of him. He clenched his teeth, forcing himself to count to three. He couldn't have made it to five, let alone ten.

He pointed a finger at Lee. "That wasn't what it looked like. At all! Sasuke was just trying to help me control my energy so I don't waste so much of it when I heal myself." His arm cut through the air to point at Sakura. "I'm sorry for whatever Kyuubi said that made you slap him," twice, "but if you actually did threaten to steal my boyfriend, then you probably deserved it." Then Ino, who looked far too smug at being proven right. "What Sasuke and I do," especially sexually, "is none of your damn business. You can't have him. Ever." No matter how much Kyuubi fantasized about it. He shot to his feet, glaring at the three of them. "My fox, my boyfriend, my business and my house! I don't want to hear another word about it! Got it?" He stared them down until he had received a nod from each. "Good."

Then he turned to his fox. 'Stop laughing. This is not funny!'

"Naruto?"

Iruka was in the doorway, staring at him. Naruto blushed so hotly he thought his eyes would sizzle and pop right out. In his head, Kyuubi began another rolling fit of laughter.

"What's going on?" asked Iruka.

"Um. Nothing. Just, uh, setting some things straight. You know how it is with us kids. Heh. We get worked up over the silliest things. Heh. Heheh..."

"Kiba started a stupid rumor," Ino told Iruka, rolling her eyes. "Some people were gullible enough to fall for it, so Naruto was clearing it up. Frankly, I think they have too much time on their hands. You should assign chores to keep them busy. You know what they say about idle hands. I, on the other hand, have already started breakfast. There's a pot of coffee in the kitchen with your name on it."

"Oh," Iruka blinked in pleased surprise. "Thank you."

"Not at all," Ino beamed. She took him by the arm and led him off down the hall.

"Suck up," Sakura hissed.

"That was smooth," Naruto mumbled. Lee suddenly stepped in front of him, so close he took a quick step back.

"Naruto-kun," Lee said, his tone very formal. "In my eagerness to right a perceived wrong, I seem to have jumped to the wrong conclusion. I apologize. I shall also apologize to Sasuke-kun for-"

"No!" Naruto yelped. "Really! Don't even mention this to him, okay? Please? He'd freak if he knew you were even talking about him like that."

"I don't know," Kakashi drawled from the doorway. "I was looking forward to watching his reaction to this."

Naruto rounded furiously. "You knew about this?"

"Kiba mentioned it last night."

"And you didn't correct him?" Naruto demanded.

"I thought it was nice of him to be so worried about you. And I couldn't exactly deny that Sasuke has a tendency to come in reeking of your blood. Then there was the issue of conspicuous grass stains on the back and knees of your clothing. The two of you must have had quite a tumble in the fields..."

Sakura and Lee began to look doubtful again. Naruto huffed in frustration. "We were sparring! I heal fast, but I can't block like he does, so I end up bleeding more. That's the only reason. That's exactly what I was working on last night when Akamaru came sniffing around." He muttered to Kyuubi, 'I'm starting to see why you don't like dogs. Are you ever going to stop laughing...?'

"You're awfully defensive," commented Kakashi.

Ino came back before Naruto could snap at him. With her hands on her hips, she glared up at Kakashi. "Go in the kitchen and tell Iruka how nice he looks even though he doesn't."

Kakashi sighed. "You have no appreciation at all for the disheveled just out of bed look."

"Exactly. So go show your 'appreciation' and quit confusing them. What kind of man gets his kicks playing with gullible little kids, anyway?"

Kakashi wrinkled his nose. "I don't know what Iruka sees in you."

The sniff she gave let him know in no uncertain terms that the feeling was entirely mutual. She watched until he was gone, then turned to glare at Lee. "Well?"

"I should not have doubted you," Lee sighed.

Ino shot a smug smile at Sakura, who made a rude noise of disgust. "I forgive you," she told Lee. "Go set the dining room table for me."

"Certainly!"

Naruto felt a bit queasy as he stared after them. He would have to talk to Lee about that. It was disturbing to see any guy led around by the nose that way.

"Naruto?" Sakura was frowning when he turned. "Was it really nothing?"

"Well, we do fight and it does get messy, what with our talents and all. But it's just sparring."

"I hate Ino being right," Sakura muttered. It had seemed so plausible. She gave a little laugh. "We'll have to watch for Lee. He's quite a crusader when he sees an 'injustice' being done."

Naruto stretched out on the couch, leaning on the arm of of it. "What was he gonna do? Beat up Sasuke to defend my honor?" He snorted at the thought.

"I think that was stage two of his intervention plan," Sakura said, with a weak smile. "I'm sorry for jumping to the wrong conclusion."

"It was pretty weird to deal with first thing in the morning," Naruto grimaced. "But if Kiba is the one who..." He blinked. "Where is Kiba?"

"Out playing with Akamaru. I didn't actually get his side of it. He had Lee so worked up that-" She sighed and gave him a sober look. "I'm glad I was wrong about Sasuke, but I still think your fox is a creep."

"What did he do to make you slap him?"

"You don't know?" Sakura asked in surprise.

Naruto fidgeted. "Well, actually, I was asleep. See, he's like a night owl. Naps most of the day and then he's up all night. He doesn't usually bother anyone." Except Sasuke.

"I bothered him," Sakura admitted. "I thought it was you when I went out. Still, he didn't have to be so-" She stopped herself firmly and stood up again. "You should talk to Kiba before he gets back. He's still mad about those mutants upsetting Akamaru. I'm sure that's partially to blame."

"Yeah, probably." He got up. "You know, Kiba said you were the bossy one." Her eyes narrowed and he waved quickly. "I only mentioned it 'cause Ino is totally the bossy one. Are Lee and her...you know?"

"Dating...?"

"Or just messing around, whatever." The very possibility had Kyuubi paying very close attention. 'I'm not letting her anywhere near Sasuke, so you can just give up right now. Besides, if she's got a thing for green spandex, then you're definitely not her type.'

Sakura laughed, muffling it immediately. Ino would die when she told her. She could hardly wait.

"Is that a no?" asked Naruto.

She grinned. "Well, she did promise to teach him about sex." Naruto's queasy expression was amusing. "I don't think Lee sees her that way, though. It's just that she actually answers his questions. He has questions about everything. I thought hanging out with Kiba might make him latch onto him instead, but, well, you see how that turned out. Ino just likes the fact that he's respectful and he hangs on every word she says. She wants kids someday, so this is like practice for her."

"Um, isn't she kinda young to be thinking about that?" Iruka would have a heart attack and, honestly, Naruto didn't want some squalling baby around the house.

"My mother was fourteen when she got pregnant with me."

"Oh," Naruto blinked. "Um, I didn't mean that it was, uh..."

"It doesn't matter," Sakura shrugged. "Ino would rather die than be an unwed teenage mother. She would consider that far too trashy." Ino's grand plan was to be married at eighteen, economically stable at twenty-two, and pregnant with the first of her three children at twenty-five. The fact that she wasn't attracted to the guys she considered 'father material' made her big dreams just that, dreams of an idealistic school-girl. And Ino knew it. Naruto was still shuffling awkwardly. Sakura waved at him. "Go find Kiba. Ino went all out this morning," playing competent house-wife sickeningly well, "so it'll be a while before breakfast is ready."

"Yeah, okay," Naruto said quickly. "Later."

He went out the front door and circled the house, letting Kyuubi direct him. He was caught on the idea of having a kid at fourteen. It was scary enough to hurt his stomach. He was around fifteen, but he still thought of himself as a kid. An irresponsible teenager. Without Iruka to keep him in line, he would be all over the place getting into as much trouble as he could find. How could anyone his age take care of a baby? How could anyone his age even want a baby? That was something for people Iruka's age. No, even he was too young. Kakashi's age, then. Babies were for old people who had already lived their lives and were ready to settle down and let a kid live it for them instead.

'If you had one, you'd love it,' Kyuubi mocked. 'You'd treat it just like that snot-nosed brat you had following you around last month.'

'Konohamaru doesn't count. That was like having a little brother. Babies don't do anything but cry and crap and roll over once in a while.'

'You've never seen a baby.'

'I watch tv,' Naruto scowled. 'They cry and crap for a few episodes then suddenly they're toddlers. Why? 'Cause no one wants to watch a whole season of crying and crapping.'

Kyuubi sighed. This was why Iruka ran Naruto away from the television. Not that it mattered. 'You'll never get a baby from Sasuke.'

'Can you imagine him as a mom?' Naruto laughed. 'I'd rather adopt a kid old enough to want to come live with me, anyway.'

'Well, if you change your mind, I'd be willing to knock up that blonde for you. Iruka wouldn't mind having a baby around if it were half yours.'

'Thanks for the offer, but I think I'll pass,' Naruto rolled his eyes. 'She's the nagging kind and there's no way in hell I'm ending up like poor Lee.'

'Sasuke might want children.'

That threw Naruto for a moment, but he recovered quickly. 'If he does then I'll rob a bank or something so we can spring for that 'in-vitro' thing they used on that show with the triplets. If I won't let Ino crawl on him for you, I'm sure as hell not letting him crawl on anyone else.'

Kyuubi dropped it. Children weren't in his longterm plans any more than they were in Naruto's. But Sasuke clearly was. Good. It would be harder to keep him if Naruto lost interest a few years down the line.

.-.

Breakfast was an awkward affair. They were all present, leaving only three empty chairs, two between Sasuke and Kiba on the left and one between Ino and Shikamaru on the right. The empty gaps were bridged by uncomfortable looks, Kiba looking embarrassed and avoiding Sasuke, Ino trying not to glare or bristle when Shikamaru yawned and scratched at the back of his head. At the ends of the table, Kakashi was beaming over at Iruka, who in turn sent him suspicious looks every now and then, wondering what he was plotting behind that mask of his.

Kakashi had fetched Sasuke, waking and conning him down without getting mutilated or verbally abused the way Naruto would have had he tried it. Sasuke ate mechanically, with no appreciation of the effort that had gone into the meal. When Ino tempted him with one of her home-made rolls, he accepted it with a grunt, not even looking up at her. She almost cried. Iruka made up for it with as much praise as possible shy of outright flattery, but it wasn't his approval she wanted.

Shikamaru had been dragged out of bed by Lee. Lee's enthusiasm was downright exhausting. Shikamaru had gotten up just to keep himself from being smothered by it. He nibbled a bit of everything. It was all good, but it would have gone down better if Ino would stop cringing out of the corner of his eye every time he so much as wiped the back of his hand over his mouth. He wondered what she would do if he burped. Probably start stomping her foot and shrieking again. He had always considered women unfathomable, but she took it to the extreme. Whoever had come up with the seating arrangement clearly had it in for him.

Lee was the only one not broody or preoccupied. He ate politely, but with gusto, lavishing praise on the cook and attempting to strike up a conversation with anyone who glanced at him. Since he was sitting by Kakashi, he was drawn to and impressed by the way he ate. "How do you consume food with such speed as to hide your face without getting indigestion?"

Kakashi glanced at him, took another invisibly fast bite, and smirked. "Practice."

"The question isn't how he does it," Sasuke muttered, "but why he bothers."

Sakura bit her lip and tried to catch his eye. "Have you seen his face?"

Sasuke didn't look up. There was no coffee at the table. Fresh squeezed orange juice, milk, but nothing resembling caffeine. He snatched another roll. While he didn't care much for sweets, sugar was a better stimulant than nothing.

Kakashi answered Sakura's question. "Sasuke is the reason I wear a mask."

"Have you considered having it healed?" asked Iruka. It wouldn't take much. A light tear to reopen it and it might heal as good as new.

"So he is disfigured!" Ino exclaimed. "I knew it."

"Wait," Naruto rounded, scowling at Iruka. "You've seen him without his mask on?"

Iruka blushed, fumbling for something to say. Kakashi took amused pity on him. "He healed me after he was done with Sasuke the other day." Naruto accepted that explanation with visible relief. Curious. Surely his fox had smelled him on Iruka. Kiba had smelled it, judging by the way he was now ducking his head to hide his red cheeks. Sasuke shot him a dark look. His kid wasn't buying it, of course. Sasuke knew the injury could have been healed without his mask coming off. Kakashi smiled at him. He no longer needed to get the kids' permission, after all.

After breakfast, Iruka made the rounds. Ino's suggestion that he assign chores was a good one. It didn't seem fair that Sakura was the only one helping Ino and Lee with the clean up. Unfortunately Ino declared Kiba too unsanitary to clean anything, Shikamaru and Sasuke looked in need of a nap, and Iruka knew better than to let Naruto handle breakables. As expected, the girls were excited by the prospect of shopping. Lee was disappointed when Ino told him he couldn't tag along. Sakura suggested he use the time to get to know Naruto better and that brightened him right up.

The dog grooming didn't go over as smoothly. Pakkun expected a nice hot bubble bath, so instead of hosing them off out back, he was forced to use the downstairs bathroom. The tub was certainly big enough, and both dogs put up with the scrubbing better than he had expected. They still splashed so much water on the floor that he had Naruto and Kiba round up every towel in the house to keep it from reaching the hallway carpet. That left no clean towels for the humans to use. In retrospect, he should have saved the dog-cleaning until everyone had finished their morning ablutions.

With that done, he went hunting for Sasuke. The boy had kept his head down so much Iruka doubted anyone had noticed the bruise on his jaw. His lecturing tone wasn't quite as strict as the one he used on Naruto, but it was close. After what he had seen last night, he assumed the boys had been sparring rather than actually fighting. Not that it made any difference. Whether the injury came from Naruto or someone connected to Sasuke's brother, if Iruka could heal it then he wanted to know about it. This time he didn't leave him alone until Sasuke promised, verbally, to tell him in the future. Hopefully he would keep his word. Iruka then found Kakashi and sent him up to tell Sasuke exactly what they had been told last night. He was sure Sasuke would be more willing to share his thoughts with Kakashi than with him.

By the time he reached the kitchen he had it all to himself. He made a jug of iced tea and settled down to think. Kurenai and Hinata were picking the girls up at ten. He would wait until they were gone before getting started on the picnic. While Ino was a very good cook, Iruka did know the way around his own kitchen and preferred to do some things himself. He could enlist Naruto's help and use the opportunity to catch up. And possibly warn him? He sighed as the thought reared its ugly head. He refused to change his plans. If he let what Tiedoll had said get to him, then he would end up confining the kids to the house for the entire week. Oh, he could devise enough activities to keep them busy for a few days, but not even he wanted to be trapped in the house for that long with all of them.

Naruto pushed into the kitchen with a cheerful, "Hey!"

Iruka smiled. "Just the person I wanted to see. Have a seat. As long as we've known each other, I think it's about time Kyuubi and I met face to face."

Naruto blanched.

.-.

The picnic was pure torture. Sasuke couldn't have felt more uncomfortable if Itachi had been sitting beside him, exchanging pleasantries with Kabuto. The adults were sitting on a separate blanket a few feet away, Kurenai talking and gesticulating wildly, Kakashi and Iruka interjecting something ever so often that set them all to laughing. On his own blanket, everyone else was focused on Hinata. The girls were gushing and teasing, Lee was making an idiot of himself in order to con a smile, Kiba was trying to get her to hold his dog despite the fact that Akamaru weighed more than she did, and Naruto was watching on like a proud papa and occasionally threatening Kiba when his teasing bordered too closely on flirting.

Sasuke wasn't interested in her. He wasn't interested in them or any part of this. Why did he have to be here? He couldn't even leave or Naruto would accuse him of being jealous again. He was not. If Naruto preferred her company over his, then that was just fine with him. One less complication. One less reason for him to be sitting here completely out of place when he should have been getting as far away as possible. Itachi wasn't just sending someone, he was coming himself. Two years since he had last seen him. Itachi wouldn't come all the way here just to look and talk at him. Sasuke should have been halfway to the mountains by now.

Kakashi had warned him against taking off. Kabuto wouldn't hesitate to destroy the airport. If his flunky really intended to take on Itachi he might be strong enough to stop him if he tried for the mountains. If he was taken down now, Kabuto would keep him unconscious as bait, leaving him no chance to run at all when Itachi arrived. Even if he managed to defeat the flunky, he would certainly be injured, forced to hide rather than run when Itachi came after him. It was a lose-lose situation. He would still rather run and take his chances with Kabuto and his flunky, than sit around waiting for Itachi.

The kids laughed again, Naruto crowing and whacking a hand on Hinata's back that nearly leveled her. Sakura and Kiba immediately set on him not to be so rough and he laughed at that, too. Sasuke stared at them with something akin to revulsion. He had nothing in common with these people. He never would. They didn't even live in the same world.

He was on his feet before he knew it, walking away without a backward glance. He made it ten feet and stopped. Shikamaru was lying on his back in the grass, arms folded behind his head, eyes staring up at the sky. Sasuke looked up. "What do you see?"

"Clouds."

There was nothing else to see, not even birds or airplane trails. Just a few clouds floating along. The sky was the same everywhere. He usually only looked up at it during the night. He had been fascinated by stars once, a lifetime ago.

"It's better if you lie on your back. Won't get a kink in your neck."

He would get stains on his clothes and grass in his hair, though. He sat on his knees instead. He wished he had been able to copy that blue-eyed rogue's ability to fly. Two years. He had actually started to believe he wouldn't see him again. Foolish. If he had wanted to settle down, he might as well have stayed in Japan.

"It won't last," said Shikamaru.

Sasuke didn't look down. "What won't?"

"Them. This place. Won't last. It never does."

He had thought the same thing himself. He had wanted to grab a bit of normal life for as long as it lasted. Of course he had known it wouldn't last for long. That didn't stop him from wanting it.

"It's a shame," Shikamaru sighed.

"Yeah."

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

It wasn't that Naruto didn't grasp the situation. A bunch of what Iruka referred to as 'first generation' and what Naruto dubbed 'old' mutants had gotten together and decided they could predict the future. So they had recruited 'second generation' or 'teenage' mutants to go around spying on people and worrying or scaring them so they did exactly what they wanted, ensuring that the future ended up just the way they had predicted. Simple. And stupid. He couldn't believe Iruka had taken it so seriously. Kyuubi felt the same way and said so to Iruka's face.

That had been awkward. Naruto hadn't even thought about the fact that everyone had seen Kyuubi take over except Iruka. Kyuubi said that was because he hadn't wanted to think about it. Having Kyuubi come out to talk to Iruka without him as a go-between made it real in a way him talking to the others hadn't. Iruka took it well, though, and Kyuubi was on his best behavior, probably because Iruka talked to him in that patient pleasant tone Kyuubi had always liked listening to. When Iruka asked Kyuubi how it was, the fox vented, complaining about his limited senses, frustration, telling things Naruto was sure he'd had no intention of sharing with him. He realized how long it had been since he and Kyuubi had sat down for a heart-to-heart chat.

There wasn't time for one after Iruka finished with him. The girls left and he suddenly had his hands full with Lee. It turned out that Lee had never had a girl actually talk to him before. Not surprising. He didn't make a very good first impression. Apparently Lee felt his lack of interaction with the fairer sex contributed to his alienation from his peer group. Kyuubi had to explain to Naruto what Lee meant by that. Naruto immediately set about dumbing down Lee's language. There was nothing wrong with knowing the 'big' words, but using them casually like that attracted as much attention as his appearance.

Kyuubi lodged one disgusted protest before retreating to the back of his head. Naruto ignored him. He knew exactly what would happen if Lee used 'Iruka-level' words around the idiots he went to school with, not to mention some of the teachers. Besides, it was fun translating Lee's sentences into 'teenager' for him. They both ended up laughing and Naruto couldn't remember actually seeing Lee laugh before. The guy seriously needed to relax more.

By the time he had finished helping get lunch ready and they had all taken to the fields, he was in a good mood. Kiba wasn't avoiding his gaze anymore, making him glad he had cleared things up with him.

Kiba had admitted that he didn't understand how gay couples worked. Since they were both male, he had assumed it would be like two predators fighting and the stronger topping the weaker, meaning he thought Naruto was the weaker one. Naruto had taken exception to that and to the flip side, the idea that he couldn't possibly top Sasuke unless he beat him up so badly Sasuke couldn't stop him. That was too close to violent 'Kyuubi-fantasy' territory for him. He ended up giving a big lecture about the separation between fighting and sex that left them both uncomfortable. The fact that he had given the exact same lecture to Kyuubi more than once didn't make it easier. Finally they decided that Kiba was too straight to ever understand how two strong guys could function together on equal terms. And Naruto was too inexperienced to be sure what he said wasn't utter bullshit. He and Sasuke clashed constantly and they were barely into foreplay. There was at least some merit to Kiba's take on predator-predator interaction. All he had to do was recall Sasuke's expression when he had fought Kyuubi. Definitely predatory.

The actual picnic was great. Everyone liked Hinata. He had known they would. She was simply the sweetest person he had ever met. The girls had adopted her by the time they came back, so Hinata didn't even drop her eyes when she was introduced to the rest. He prodded Lee to try out his language lessons on her, because she was the type of girl he should be talking to if he wanted to learn how to interact with girls as a whole, just in case he ended up liking girls. Lee wasn't sure which sex he liked, if any, so Naruto figured this was a good time to find out. Kiba, on the other hand, he actively discouraged. He didn't think he wanted Mister 'I'm too chauvinistic to understand equal relationships' anywhere near his Hinata. The way she adored Akamaru at first sight made it harder for him. Still, Kiba's attempts to flirt were embarrassing and kinda sad to watch, so Naruto's protectiveness eased up after a while.

He didn't notice when Sasuke left. He had figured Sasuke was avoiding him because he was still angry about Kyuubi healing him. So he ignored him, too. It wasn't like he could have conned him into socializing, anyway. And he wasn't about to risk Sasuke hurting Hinata's feelings right when she was opening up and enjoying herself.

Kyuubi was the one who noticed. He couldn't stomach the way Naruto fawned over that pathetic girl, so he had set his sights on Sasuke the moment they left the house, once more enjoying an unlimited view of the world. What he saw infuriated him. Everything about Sasuke bled skittish, cornered, disconnected. He was bordering on fight or flight and no one was even looking at him. That couldn't be simple resentment at having been tricked and healed again.

Had something happened to him while he was napping earlier? Kyuubi hadn't been out very long, less than an hour or two while Naruto was busy making Lee sound as ignorant as him. Or was it a delayed reaction to the mutants last night? Iruka's ridiculous fortune-telling cult? Sasuke had dismissed their very existence the moment they had left last night, as if he knew who they were and couldn't have cared less. That was the reason Kyuubi had cut Iruka off earlier. If they were as stupid as that, he had thought he understood why Sasuke hadn't been interested in them. Now he regretted it. Iruka hadn't wanted to tell them anything, it was all over his face. By cutting him off, he had ensured that Iruka wouldn't say another word about it.

When Sasuke left, Kyuubi almost tried to follow him. That was what Naruto had done, pushed away and forced - imagined? - a body there to catch him. Fear stopped him. He didn't know if he could duplicate what Naruto had done. He did know what would happen if he actually separated. At least, he thought he knew. How would Sasuke, or any of them, react if he did manage to manifest in his real form? Just one of his paws would be big enough to crush the entire blanket of babbling teens if he appeared right outside of Naruto. Even if he did manage to get clear of them, his mouth was designed for tearing, not for speaking. More to the point, he might not be able to get back. It wasn't just Naruto who would be at risk then, but both of them. He seethed and coiled his tails and kept his thoughts to himself.

Sasuke hadn't run. What he had done was worse. He had walked away from Naruto, away from him, and found solace with someone else. Kyuubi tensed, watching them with blazing eyes. If that boy so much as touched him, he would go out there and tear him to shreds, consequences be damned.

Everyone was fawning over a delighted Akamaru and picking on Kiba when Sakura spotted it. She leaned closer to Naruto and whispered in his ear, "Your eyes are flickering red and blue. Is something wrong?"

Naruto looked over in surprise. Then he looked back. He knew how much Kyuubi hated Hinata, so he had assumed the fox was sleeping, or grouching sullenly in the back of his head. What he saw had him rushing into his mind without a second thought. The cage was on fire. He couldn't see Kyuubi inside, but he sensed him, barely. Furious flames were lashing out between the bars. He didn't get very close before the heat stopped him in his tracks. There was no response to his yells, so he did the only thing he could think of. He turned the sprinklers on.

The water doused the exterior of the cage, but he couldn't get it to reach inside, no matter how clearly he imagined it. He edged closer, feeling the water as if it weren't just something he had imagined in his head. He could see him now, crouched motionless with his tails raging around him. Kyuubi was growling so hard he should have felt the tremors under his feet. Instead, he could barely hear him, as if Kyuubi were on the other side of sound-proofed glass. Naruto was shocked. How could Kyuubi have gotten so upset without him feeling a thing? The answer came as soon as he touched the door of the cage. Kyuubi had designed it so nothing outside could affect what was inside. He hadn't felt a thing because Kyuubi had locked himself inside, away from him.

'Why?' asked Naruto.

Kyuubi made no pretense of 'speaking' to him the way he usually did. The response was pure thought, stabbing into his head like hot steel. 'You're to blame.'

Naruto didn't want to talk to him this way. Kyuubi hadn't communicated with him like this since he had first woken in the hospital. It was unnatural to be 'thinking' at someone right in front of him, impersonal, alien even. But if that was what it took, he would have to. He closed his mouth tightly. 'What did I do?'

'Look.'

Memories crashed into him, everything Kyuubi had seen, thought, felt since they had left the house. Naruto was on his hands and knees by the time it finished, mouth dry, heart pounding in his ears. Was this how it was for Kyuubi when the fox looked at his own memories? He couldn't catch his breath. He didn't need to breathe to think, though. 'Why didn't you say something?'

'You didn't care.'

'I didn't know,' Naruto corrected him. This wasn't just about Sasuke. Kyuubi thought he didn't care about him, either. All because he had been distracted for a little while? No. There was underlying vulnerability to all the memories. This went further back. What he had glimpsed when Kyuubi was talking to Iruka was actually a deep festering wound. Kyuubi had nothing but what he kept. By letting Sasuke walk away, he had turned his back on the one thing Kyuubi was trying to keep and that wound had ripped open. Now Kyuubi couldn't even stand to look at him. Naruto's eyes burned. 'I didn't know.'

'You didn't care.'

Wetness trickled down his cheeks. He sniffed, wiping it away furiously. What had he done to his fox? How could it have gotten this bad? His throat closed so tightly it hurt. 'Let me fix it.'

'Stop crying.'

He scrubbed the back of his hand over his eyes. 'Just let me fix it, okay? It's not broken.' A choked laugh forced his throat open. This time he spoke with his mouth. 'He's not going to pick Shikamaru over us. They're just both quiet and antisocial, that's all. I'll talk to him. I'll find out what's wrong. Or you can talk to him yourself. If you want to keep him you have to get used to this. He's high maintenance. And he gets just as jealous as we do. I bet anything that's half the reason he stormed off.'

Kyuubi looked at him finally, but refused to open his mouth. 'Because you were fawning over that girl.'

Naruto's eyes widened as it hit him. Kyuubi wasn't just jealous of Sasuke, he was jealous of him, too. He could feel his throat threatening to close up again. He had been neglecting his fox. They really didn't share everything because Kyuubi would never understand, let alone share, his feelings toward Hinata. 'I don't know about children, but it's nice having a little brother and a little sister. I like having people to look out for. Not everyone has an all-powerful fox to lean on, you know.'

Kyuubi snorted. He couldn't hear Naruto's thoughts from inside the cage, but he had an idea what was going on in his head. Sappy idiocy, no doubt.

'Do you want to talk to Sasuke or do you want me to?'

'Neither.' Kyuubi let out a long sigh and dropped his head onto his paws. 'Teach me how to make a duplicate body when we get back to the house. Leave me alone until then.'

'What about Sasuke?'

'I'm the one keeping him. I'll deal with him.' The impulse for flight had vanished the moment Sasuke dropped to the grass. He wasn't going anywhere for now. When he did go, Kyuubi couldn't count on Naruto to notice. Naruto couldn't even keep him for one day, too interested in his sweet little charity case. Well, if Naruto insisted on keeping that broken bitch despite him, he would find a way to keep Sasuke despite Naruto.

'Kyuubi. I want to keep him, too.' The fox snorted again. 'I do! But I can't pay attention to him every second of the day. I'd go crazy. He'd go crazy. We can have different friends and still be-'

'Do you think he's making friends out there?' snapped Kyuubi.

'Maybe. Why not? They might have more in common than we do. What? Are you going to get angry every time he talks to someone else? You know he probably shares more with Kakashi than he does with us. Are you going to go off on him, too?'

'Kakashi is more interested in Iruka,' Kyuubi spat. 'I can't have Iruka, so it doesn't matter. That shadow kid is a threat. Don't you see that? Did you forget how he got here? What am I supposed to do if he takes him somewhere I can't follow? Sasuke wants to run and he's sitting next to the only person here who could get him away from whatever it is he wants to run from.'

Naruto's eyes widened in shock. He hadn't made the connection. He knew someone had taken Iruka from the house and then brought him and the kids back. None of the other kids had mentioned having a talent like that. So if it wasn't Pakkun who had transported them, the only person left was... 'Damn it, Kyuubi! Why didn't you just say that to start with? You cryptic emotionally-retarded fox!'

The others startled when he jumped up. "Be right back," he said, with a weak grin. He ran over to the sky-watchers. Sasuke tensed and shot him a sharp look. There was no response from Shikamaru. "Can I talk to you for a minute? Hey, Shikamaru, can I talk to you?" Dark eyes turned to him and an eyebrow quirked. Naruto's grin faltered for a second. "Can I talk to you over there?" he asked, pointing away from the picnic.

Shikamaru groaned and rose slowly. A hand scratched at his pony tail, loosening up the grass stuck there. It took them forever to get far enough away that no one would overhear. Naruto was so impatient by then he could barely keep his voice down.

"You brought everyone here, right?" asked Naruto. "How did you do that?"

Shikamaru sighed, dropping to sit on the grass. Naruto immediately crouched in front of him. "I just held on. Bunchu took directions from Iruka and used them to guide me to the attic. When I picked Iruka up, Bunchu had the dog lead me and made sure I didn't drop Iruka on the way back. I had never tried transporting people before. It takes a lot more energy than just moving myself does."

"So you couldn't take anyone anywhere without Bunchu helping, right?"

"Well, if it's some place I've been before, I could. Probably. I'd have to make sure it's dark there, though. I haven't recovered enough energy to wrap myself in shadows if it's as bright as it is here. Ask me again in a few days."

"Then you could take someone somewhere if you waited till night to do it?"

"And if the place I'm going to is dark enough when I get there. If it's too bright, I'd get pushed right back. It's like teleporters with water talents. If there's no water where they're trying to go, then they have to bring it with them or they can't go all the way."

Naruto was momentarily distracted. "You've met mutants like that?"

"Not personally."

"Oh," Naruto drooped. He shook himself. "Don't take Sasuke anywhere, okay? In fact, don't even mention that you could, okay?"

"Are you asking me to lie for you?" asked Shikamaru. He didn't look disturbed by the possibility.

"Yeah," Naruto blurted. "No! I mean, well, just don't bring it up." Sasuke hadn't talked to anyone, and probably wouldn't, so if he didn't tell him and Shikamaru didn't tell him...he might never know. Problem solved.

"Lying takes more effort than telling the truth," said Shikamaru. "I wouldn't bother without a good reason." He frowned and dug in his hair again, picking out a few more blades of grass. "Have you got a good reason?"

"I don't want him to take off. If he knew you could get him out of here that easily-"

"It's not easy," Shikamaru interrupted. "Just taking myself somewhere right now would set me back for days. I wouldn't do that without a good reason, either."

"So if he asks you-"

"He'll have to give me a good reason."

'Sasuke won't tell him,' said Kyuubi.

Naruto was surprised he had come out of the cage. He tried to act as casual as possible. Kyuubi got touchy when he ascribed overly-human emotions to him. 'He told us and Iruka. He said he didn't care who knew.'

'He told about his past,' Kyuubi corrected. 'It's his future that has him set to run now.' It was his brother, the prospect of seeing him. That had to be it. He was afraid that what he hadn't been willing to talk about was going to happen again. And just as Kyuubi had accused, the thought of it had him terrified. 'He's damaged...'

'What do you mean by that?' Naruto demanded.

Kyuubi ignored him. He would never have wanted someone broken, but Sasuke was damaged. Damage could be fixed. The question was how. He sighed in frustration. 'He is high maintenance.'

'I told you,' Naruto huffed. He quickly turned his attention back to Shikamaru. The guy was staring at him with the most bored expression he had ever seen on a person's face. Naruto winced. "Sorry, just talking to the fox."

"You have a fox?"

He blushed, choked, and mentally slapped himself. He had completely forgotten that Shikamaru didn't know. He had gotten more comfortable with Kyuubi being 'out' to the other kids. Now he had to go through it all again. He cringed inside and began fidgeting outside.

Kyuubi shoved him out of the way. "I'm the fox," he said testily. "My name is Kyuubi. Iruka calls me a split personality, though it isn't accurate. We are fully aware of each other. I exist inside him at all times. I take part in everything he does. His talents rely on me. Without my assistance, he can do little more than heal and increase his strength. Our eyes turn red when I'm in control. I have no physical form of my own and taking over his body limits me. I spend most of my time in the back of his head watching him make an idiot of himself. He considers me a dirty secret and I consider him the demeaning price I pay in order to exist in this world."

Naruto jumped aside as Kyuubi stalked past him. The fox's fur was raised, his tails lashing. He was as moody and bitchy as the first time they had spoken to each other. Naruto cringed again. Yeah, he had definitely been neglecting his fox. He had even talked Iruka out of making tuna sandwiches for the picnic. He felt like a total asshole. When he opened his eyes to find Shikamaru staring at him, he didn't even bother to bluster. "He's upset with me. Don't take it personally."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "Is he what Sasuke wants to get away from?"

"No!" Naruto blinked in surprise. "Actually, he gets along better with Kyuubi than he does with me half the time." He crushed his jealousy the second it reared up. They didn't share Hinata, but they were sure as hell sharing Sasuke. "Sasuke's situation is...different. I just want a chance to help him with it. If he got you to drop him off somewhere, I might never find him again." A thought that scared him just as badly as it had Kyuubi.

"I don't think you have to worry," Shikamaru shrugged. "I could only take him somewhere I know. I doubt he'd want to go to any of the places I've been."

"What-"

"Someone else is talking to him," Shikamaru interrupted. "Shouldn't you be scaring him off, too?"

"I wasn't trying to scare you off," Naruto winced. "I was just-" He stopped and took a quick glance back. "Oh, shit, not Lee..."

Sasuke stared warily at the exuberant boy. "I don't fight with witnesses," he muttered. Everyone was looking over at him now, making him feel as uncomfortable and out of place as he had earlier. The way Lee had challenged him so loudly everyone heard didn't help matters any.

"It is not a fight I am pro- suggesting. Nor a spar, though I would not be ad- against - such a pro- suggestion." Lee faltered. Replacing words was not as easy as Naruto had made it seem. It would clearly require extensive practice to master. Naturally. Difficult lessons were the ones most worth learning. "I am suggesting a race. Kiba-kun has claimed Akamaru to be faster than anything on two legs. I have accepted his challenge, as has Sakura. It is my suggestion," though the word proposal really did seem more accurate, "that we extend this race to include any sure-footed person among us. Kakashi-san named you as the fastest person in his opinion, so I would like you to par- take part."

Sasuke turned a simmering glare on Kakashi. That explained why even the adults were staring. They were in on it.

"Lee! Hey! Hey, Lee?"

Naruto was running toward them. Sasuke watched as Lee promptly repeated his challenge, and the reason for it, to the out of breath blonde. He wasn't surprised when Naruto immediately pounced on the proposal. He was annoyed, though, when Naruto seconded Kakashi's opinion.

"Oh, yeah," Naruto nodded. "Sasuke's really fast. He runs circles around me."

"Kakashi is faster," Sasuke cut in.

"He is an adult," Lee said firmly. "His body has had time to fully mature, as have his talents. Akamaru is a young teen by human years. To race him against an adult would prove nothing."

"Exactly," Kakashi called. "Get up and race, Broody-Boy. I've got ten bucks riding on you."

Sasuke's eye twitched. If he did get up it wouldn't be to race. It would be to close that mouth of his permanently. A hand clapped down on his shoulder and he jumped at the contact. He was about to lash out when he realized it was Naruto rather than Lee.

"Come on, Sasuke," Naruto wheedled. "It'll be easy!"

"Not necessarily," Lee was compelled to admit. "Speed is one of my strongest attributes."

"Points," Naruto supplied automatically. "Talents. Maybe characteristics, but that's even longer. Skills or strong points sounds better. Always go for the one syllable word."

"I see," Lee nodded.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke demanded.

"Fixing the way he talks," Naruto explained. "So he doesn't sound so formal."

So smart, he meant. Sasuke had never heard anything so ridiculous. His eyes narrowed. "There is nothing wrong with the way he talks, except the volume."

"Ah, yes," Lee frowned, lowering his voice. "I am not on a stage and should not speak as if I were."

"I'm," Naruto said quickly. "And shouldn't. You've gotta use more contractions. You sound like a machine. From old black and white movies, even."

Sasuke shot to his feet. "Naruto." He waited until he had his undivided attention. "You'll race, too. Whether he beats me or not, when I beat you, you'll stop this- this..."

"Language lessons," Lee said helpfully. He nodded to Naruto, "Or talk tips, for a one syllable replacement."

"That," Sasuke grimaced.

"But I'm helping him! And we already know you're faster than me!"

Sasuke stared at him. "Don't make me pin you in front of everyone."

Naruto sent a wary glance around, noting all the eyes on them. "Like you could," he mumbled, faintly. Sasuke took one step toward him and he jumped back, hands up. "Okay! Fine! I'll race, too. But it's your fault if people make fun of him because of the way he talks."

Sasuke sniffed. "If they do, then they're not worth talking to."

Lee shook his head. "People can't help but react to those who are different. I do-n't wish to stand out."

"Then you shouldn't be taking advice from someone who thinks orange is a normal color for clothing."

"Hey!" Naruto yelped. "Like black is any better!"

"Children," Kakashi called. "Are we going to see a race today or not?"

"Yeah, you'll see one," Naruto growled. He glowered at Sasuke. "Forget what I just said. I'm going to leave you in the dust. And when I beat you, you'll be wearing orange for the rest of the weekend!"

"I'd rather die," said Sasuke.

"Oh, no," Lee exclaimed. "You should not even joke about such things!"

Even Naruto looked askance at him this time. Sasuke sighed. "Let's just get this over with."

"Yeah," Naruto scoffed. "So Sasuke can get back to his brooding."

Sasuke didn't bother rising to the bait. It was true, after all.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

They used a length of thread, resentfully supplied by Sasuke, to mark the finish line. Kakashi sat holding one end of it so it glowed brightly in the grass. He was amused to have finally found a use for the ridiculous talent that had led him to meeting Sasuke. Hinata and Ino stood on either side, for those who wouldn't have the eyes to see the thread until they were right on it. Shikamaru was appointed the role of watching the start to be sure no one jumped out early. Ino had shot Lee down when he had suggested inviting him to participate. He had been injured so badly when that building came crashing down on them that even if he had wanted to race, which she doubted, he would just end up hurting himself. Kiba had scoffed at her supposed concern and immediately regretted it when both Sakura and Hinata gave him reproachful looks.

Sakura, the obvious longshot, was the only one at the starting line who was not taking this seriously. That left her free to enjoy the competitive way the boys were eyeing each other. They seemed to have forgotten that the point was for one of them to beat Akamaru. It didn't matter who won as long as it wasn't the dog. Thus she was the first to question Kiba when he got down and let Akamaru climb onto his back. "You're carrying him? You can't do that! The point is to see how fast he is."

"I'm running with him," Kiba scowled. "Did you think I'd pit him against a bunch of mutants all by himself?"

"You did say he was faster than anything on two legs," Lee pointed out.

"He is. We'll be running on four legs, not two. I'm just giving him a little boost, is all." Kiba pushed up on his fingers and toes, Akamaru ducking close to his back. Then they merged.

Sakura's hand flew over her mouth. If Ino had found him distasteful before, she was going to be horrified by him now. Kiba's entire body structure seemed to have changed, top heavy, thick in the shoulders, his weight resting on the more on his thickly clawed fingertips rather than the palms. His hands looked longer and she wondered, frantically, if his feet had lengthened as well. They must be painfully restricted by his shoes if they had. Then she shook her head sharply. How could he have the guts to do this in front of them? If his face had changed just a little bit more, he would look like some kind of werewolf!

"That's so cool!" cried Naruto.

Sakura's head snapped to the side. Naruto's eyes were huge, amazement all over his face. Lee looked impressed, and even Sasuke looked more surprised than disturbed. She bit her lip. Was this a guy thing? Or a mutant thing...? She wasn't like Ino. Just because her talent was dangerous and useless didn't mean she thought other mutants should feel ashamed to use theirs. In fact, she envied the way Lee was so proud and matter of fact about his talent. It was just... She glanced at Kiba again and almost cringed. He had just merged with his dog! She had spent too much time trapped in a mind with Ino not to find that at least a little bit freaky...!

"Who's in control?" Naruto asked, excitedly. "You or Akamaru?"

"Doesn't work that way," Kiba said, with a shake of his head. His voice was thick and rough, scraping out over sharp teeth. "Just us. Gonna run like hell. Hey," his eyes snapped to Naruto. "Fox gonna run?"

Naruto stared and then grinned widely. He would never have even considered running like that in front of Sasuke, let alone Sakura and the others. But, damn it, if Kiba could get away with it he wasn't about to be left out. 'Hey, Kyuubi! Get out here and help me beat this dog. Hounds hunt down foxes, my ass!'

Sakura flinched back a step when Naruto suddenly crouched on all fours next to Kiba. Surely he wasn't going to- She winced. He was going to. His hair fluffed, abruptly twice as thick, his lips curling back over sharp teeth, and there were claws at his fingertips, looking longer and even sharper than Kiba's. She almost stomped her foot. She was a girl, damn them! She barely even counted as a mutant. Didn't these guys even care that she was freaking out over here?

Naruto glanced at her with purple eyes and grinned, showing far too many sharp teeth. "Take it easy. It's just a race."

"Easy for you to say!" Sakura wailed. "You're not even two-footed anymore!"

"True," said Lee. He had an odd smile on his face. "If he were to win, it would prove nothing. Therefore, one of us three must win this race." He nodded to Sakura and Sasuke. Then he sighed. "I must say, Naruto-kun, your energy is quite invigorating."

Sakura flinched again when Sasuke stiffened, his eyes flashing red. She didn't let out a peep of protest when he ordered her to stand between Lee and Kiba, putting Naruto on the far end.

"No closer," Sasuke warned Lee.

Lee blinked in surprise. "Have I done something wrong?"

Sasuke snorted. That tawny energy of Lee's was bent nearly in half, straining toward Naruto's billowing reddish-orange. If he hadn't been convinced Lee had no idea what his energy was doing, he would have done more than put more distance between them.

"Are you guys ready, or what?" Shikamaru drawled.

"Hey!" Sakura protested.

He let out an aggrieved sigh. "Are you guys, you canines, and you girl, ready or not?"

"Ready!" Naruto and Kiba bit out at the same time.

Sakura jumped, Sasuke snorted, and Lee beamed. Shikamaru decided that meant they were ready, too. He sighed again and muttered, "On your mark get set go."

Lee and Sasuke were out in front instantly, with Sakura a ways behind. Kiba and Naruto lurched a few steps before getting into a good stride, both wishing they had taken their shoes off first. Within a few bounds they had passed Sakura and were bearing down on the front runners. Lee pulled out ahead and Sasuke lightened himself until he caught up. Sasuke was the only one who understood what happened next.

Lee's energy rippled out behind him as Naruto got closer, straining until Lee stumbled. Sasuke dismissed the race and turned on him instantly. Kiba reared back, trying to slow himself with his hands and failing miserably. Naruto leapt nimbly to the side without breaking stride and crashed headlong into Sasuke. Sakura jumped over a flailing leg, Lee's, was almost tripped by a flapping arm, Naruto's, and finished the race. Her ear-splitting whoops of victory weren't the least bit ladylike.

"Take that! Yeah! Who's the boss! Shannaro!"

"Damn it, Sasuke, why did you turn?"

"Keep your lovesick energy to yourself!"

"Excuse me, but if you put your hand there again I will be forced to consider it groping."

"You tripped us, damn it! That doesn't count!"

"Arf! Arf! Grrr...!"

"She gets excited," Ino explained to a wide-eyed Hinata as Sakura continued to rant.

"That went well," Kakashi drawled.

.-.

Iruka considered the picnic a disaster. By the time he and Kakashi had pulled the boys apart, none of them were unscathed. Poor Lee was riddled in bruises, namely because he had been too confused to defend himself. Iruka couldn't understand what had made Sasuke attack him like that. He hadn't seemed the type, though his stony silence was when asked was nearly as bad as Naruto's. At least he understood Naruto's reason, as absurd as it was. The way they had all been rolling around it was only natural that hands had ended up in the wrong places. He seriously doubted Kiba had meant to grope Sasuke any more than he had meant to grope Lee. And the way Kiba had erupted in defense of his 'straightness' made Iruka wonder if the blustering boy was in denial. As if it wasn't a commonly accepted fact that all mutants were inherently bisexual.

He lectured them all through the healing. Bruises and bites on Naruto and Kiba, especially Naruto. Akamaru had never gotten a rabies shot. What the hell had they been thinking? Scrapes and bruises on poor Lee. He should have defended himself at least a little. Bruised knuckles and scratches on Sasuke. Vicious, he hadn't pulled his punches at all. And how could Naruto have possibly misconstrued Sasuke's attack on Lee as cheating on him? Sasuke had been reducing Lee to a pulp, not making out with him. By the time Iruka was done, he was grateful they had at least kept their talents out of it. Teenage brawls were bad enough without that.

Back at the house, he had them all clean up and then left the three violent ones in the kitchen with orders to make supper. Together. If there was any damage, to the kitchen or to each other, when they were done, they would regret it. Akamaru was to stay outside. He would be allowed in Kiba's room to sleep, but he wasn't to mingle with anyone else until he had gotten all of his shots and Kiba could swear to him that he would never bite anyone living in the house again. Iruka's fear of biting dogs might have made him overly strict, but with the additional threat of rabies, he felt justified. He considered Lee entirely innocent and refused to let him take part in the punishment, however much he asked to be included.

Lee followed him to his office. Iruka had to bite down hard to keep from snapping at him. He couldn't believe a simple friendly competition had degenerated into a fist fight - with biting! - so quickly. And right in front of him, too. With Hinata and Kurenai watching on. Oh, Kurenai had laughed it off, just like Kakashi had. That didn't stop Iruka from being disappointed in all three of the boys.

"I was also to blame," Lee said solemnly, taking the chair across from Iruka's desk. "Sasuke made it very clear that my energy was behaving improperly toward Naruto. My not being aware of it doesn't absolve me of responsibility."

"What do you mean by improper?" asked Iruka. He was getting a bad feeling about this.

"I experienced an invigorating reaction just before the race," Lee admitted. "It is possible that my eagerness stemmed from a natural attraction of my energy for Naruto's energy. It was quite a stimulating sensation."

Iruka winced. He cleared his throat. "Was your reaction also...physical...in nature?"

Lee's eyes widened. "As a matter of fact, it was! I took that to be a natural reaction to the adrenaline and testosterone rush at being faced with such a challenging race. Do you believe I might have been experiencing a sexual attraction? Naruto did tell me that I was past the age where I should be feeling a sexual attraction for one sex or the other, if not both."

"Well..." Iruka stopped. He was going to have to give him The Talk. It had been bad enough giving it to Naruto. Giving it to Lee was...

"Oh!" Lee jumped suddenly, his eyes huge. Then he gradually slumped, drooping in the chair. "I see why Sasuke was so upset with me. He did warn me before the race not to get any closer. He must have meant no closer to Naruto." He ducked his head in shame. "How painful it must have been for him to see my wanton energy molesting his beloved. Oh, how could I, even in my ignorance, have allowed such a thing to happen? Naruto has been so kind to me. To betray his trust in such a way is unforgivable. Yet," his eyes flashed up, pinning Iruka in his chair, entreating him, "what can I do to prevent my lustful energy from acting without my control?"

"I-" Iruka blinked, blushed, and frowned. "I don't think it's...as bad as all that. Really. Every male experiences an...improper reaction...at one point or another. It's just a part of growing up." Lee looked so doubtful and upset that once again Iruka wanted to track down that 'mentor' of his and skin him alive. "Honestly, Lee, it's entirely natural. You may simply be attracted to certain energy types. That happens with some mutants. It would also explain why you haven't felt a preference for one sex or the other, since you haven't had much contact with other mutants."

"Naruto does have energy more akin to mine than anyone else here," Lee frowned. "If that is the case, how can I prevent myself from having improper reactions to him?"

Iruka took a deep breath. With this one word, he was ensuring that his blush remained in place for the rest of the night. But he had to say it. Dear God, Lee was turning seventeen years old! He had to say it. "Masturbation."

.-.

Sasuke stared. "Do you even know how to cook?"

"Yeah," Kiba scoffed. "Skin it, shove a stick up its ass, and turn it over a fire till it's done."

"Right," said Sasuke. "Do you see anything here to skin?"

"I dunno, roast fox don't taste too bad if you cook it long enough."

"Yeah, right," Naruto growled, "and I bet you loved shoving a stick up their asses, too, you sick bastard. I knew you were gay!"

"Damnit, you take that back! His ass was in my way or I'd never have touched it!"

"Yeah," scoffed Naruto, "and you were only squeezing Lee's crotch 'cause it was in your way, too, right?"

"Damnit, that only happened 'cause your fat ass was on my back!"

"See? See! You're obsessed with ass, you - closet homo!"

"Damnit, I am not!"

"Stop saying 'damnit' as if that's the only word you know," Sasuke snapped, turning from the open refrigerator. "Take it outside if you're going to fight."

"We can't," Naruto glared. "Iruka-sensei said we have to help!"

"You can't help," Sasuke muttered. "There's nothing for him to skin and you can't work anything but the microwave."

"Yeah?" Naruto scowled. "Well, at least I know how to work a microwave!"

"What makes you think I don't know how?"

"Um," Naruto mocked, "let me think about it. The fact that you never go near it?"

"What the hell?" Kiba sneered. "You can't work a microwave? You hit a few buttons. It doesn't get any simpler than that."

Naruto swung his head around. "Don't you make fun of my boyfriend. I'll kick your ass!"

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah!"

Sasuke whipped around. "Shut the fuck up right now or I'll kick both of your asses!"

"Like you could," Naruto mumbled.

"Naruto...don't make me come over there."

Naruto skulked at the table, not glaring at Sasuke until he had turned back to the refrigerator.

Kiba scowled from his own seat at the table. "He's bitchy," he whispered.

"Tell me about it," Naruto grimaced.

"Naruto..."

Kiba snorted when Naruto cringed. "He's so got you whipped."

Naruto kicked him under the table. Kiba yelped, freezing when Sasuke shot him a venomous glare. The moment Sasuke's back was to him, Kiba kicked Naruto back. Sasuke rubbed his temple. He made dinner as quickly as possible, all the while ignoring the two idiots who were trying to kick each other to death at the table. He swore he would never get in trouble again. Iruka's punishments were sadistic.

.-.

As expected, Iruka blushed all through dinner. The food was excellent, meaning Sasuke had made it, probably with the other two doing nothing but getting in his way. Sakura continued to beam, proving that at least one person aside from Kakashi had enjoyed the disaster of a picnic. Shikamaru ate a little more than he had at breakfast. Iruka liked to think Ino cringed a little less at his bad table manners, but it was probably just wishful thinking. Since Sasuke had been suitably punished having to put up with the other two, Iruka made them clean up afterward. Naruto broke two glasses, a plate, and somehow bent a fork clear in half. Iruka counted himself lucky that was all, and sent them to bed as soon as they were done.

Kakashi was waiting for him when he got to his room. No sign of Pakkun, but it didn't really matter. Iruka sighed. "Kakashi, I'm not in the mood."

"Oh?" Kakashi drawled, lounging on the bed. He had considered stripping first, but Iruka had blushed so much through dinner he didn't want to risk embarrassing him to death.

"I had to give Lee The Talk."

"Which talk?"

Iruka blushed harder. His cheeks hurt from blushing so much. "The masturbation, sex, and condom talk. I couldn't get it up now even if I tried."

Kakashi winced. He was sure he could get Iruka up if he tried, but if there was even the slightest chance Iruka would be thinking about Lee when they were... Yep. That killed his libido, too. He sat up with a scowl. "Couldn't you have waited until tomorrow to give him that talk? I had plans!"

Iruka sat on the bed with a soft snort. "I would rather not have given it to him at all. Apparently, he got an erection from being so close to Naruto's energy earlier."

Kakashi blinked. Yep, dead libido. Stone cold dead.

"Sasuke saw his energy doing...something to Naruto's and that's what set him off. It seems that Lee's 'Mentor,'" and he spat the word out, "taught him that erections are just a reaction to fighting. Adrenaline, testosterone, not a mention about puberty or-" He let out a disgusted huff and looked at Kakashi. "He's almost seventeen!"

Kakashi shifted uncomfortably. "Surely he has..."

"No!" Iruka cried. "He hasn't! Not once! In his entire life!"

"That poor kid. No wonder he's so uptight." Kakashi couldn't imagine. Even Sasuke- Well, he didn't know that for sure. His kid had slept in the bathroom a lot, though. Kakashi grimaced. At this rate his libido would never recover. The pitiful thing was getting deader with every second he thought about this. "Hm. Should I go soundproof Lee's room?"

Iruka laughed despite himself. "I don't think he's rude enough to disturb anyone."

"I don't know. Seventeen years is a long time. And he does have trouble keeping his voice down."

Iruka laughed again and climbed under the blanket. Whether Kakashi stayed or went didn't matter. He was absolutely impotent at the moment. "I don't want to talk about this any more." He chuckled and grimaced at the same time. "I hate giving The Talk."

Kakashi stayed, getting under the covers with him. "Who gave you The Talk?"

"No one. I knew everything about sex long before I was having any." He sniffed, snuggling into Kakashi's chest. "I don't want to talk about that either. I just want to sleep and not be blushing when I wake up."

"Alright, then," Kakashi sighed. He counted down from fifty. Iruka was out at twenty-two and completely gone at fifteen. Kakashi's life sucked.

Hours later, Kakashi was woken by the sound of the door opening at the foot of the stairs. He slipped away without Iruka moving a bit. He was waiting with his mask in place when the door to the room opened. The mask hid his scowl. Hell. If he was going to get yelled at by Iruka's kid, he should at least have gotten some sex first. The blonde scowled at him and waved at the stairs.

"Outside," he muttered. "You're loud. If you wake him up, you'll be sorry."

Not quite what he had said to the brat when he had ordered him out of Sasuke's room that time, but close enough. He played along. He had known it was only a matter of time before Naruto went off on him, anyway. Might as well get it over with. He let himself be herded out back. Then he folded his arms and waited for the explosion.

"Why did Sasuke try to run today?"

Kakashi blinked in surprise. Red eyes, cold expression, quiet voice. Not Naruto, after all. "I wasn't aware that he had. I told him not to run."

"What did you tell him? Exactly?"

"Iruka didn't say anything about it?" asked Kakashi. He was actually impressed. He had been sure Iruka would obsess over it until the whole house was on lock-down for the next week.

"He started to," Kyuubi grimaced. "I cut him off after hearing about some fortune-telling cult."

'We cut him off,' Naruto admitted. 'I'm as much to blame for that as you are.'

Kyuubi snorted. Naruto had been throwing an unholy fit since finding out where Kakashi was. He had lost it even worse upon learning that Kyuubi had known exactly where Kakashi was and done nothing to stop him. It had taken an hour to talk him down. Naruto was only capable of rational thought now because Kyuubi still couldn't smell any sex on Kakashi's person. To Kyuubi it was simple. Naruto would never let him have Iruka. If Iruka wanted to have someone else, he had the right. As long as Kakashi didn't harm him, Kyuubi would accept Iruka's choice. Naruto was just childishly determined that his 'Sensei' didn't need sex, shouldn't have sex, would never have sex. Ever.

"Ah," Kakashi sighed. "You missed the most important part. Sasuke's brother is coming here. That 'cult' wants to have someone in the house to record what happens when he gets here. They think some kind of show-down, a world-changing event, is going to happen when he arrives. Everyone is looking forward to it except Sasuke. There are some mutants in town who would go to desperate measures if he tried to take off before his brother gets here."

"I knew it," Kyuubi growled. 'His brother is the only thing he's afraid of.'

'Why?' asked Naruto. 'He said his brother wouldn't do anything but talk to him if he came. Right?'

'At best. He said at best that's all he'd do if he came. He is coming and it's the worst case scenario he's afraid of.'

"This doesn't really involve you." Kakashi was suddenly the recipient of an extremely hostile glare. "If you try to interfere, you'll just end up making it worse for Sasuke. Look, kid, I've met a lot of mutants and his brother unnerves the hell out of me. No normal emotions, no normal expressions, abnormal responses to everything. He's a total nutjob. Sasuke calls him insane, but I'd say whatever is wrong with the guy is a lot stranger than simple insanity. Either way, I wouldn't want to fight him. You don't stand a chance against me, so what could you possibly do to him?"

"Kill him," Kyuubi snapped.

"Stupid kid." Kakashi's eye narrowed. "How do you think Sasuke will feel if his brother kills you? He's got enough shit without feeling responsible for your death. He likes you. At least, he likes Naruto. Cares about him. Don't make his brother kill the one person he's ever cared about in his miserable life. If you want to die that badly, fight me. I'll kill you. Then he'll just assume I lost control again, and that it had nothing to do with him."

Kyuubi's energy flared red around him. Kakashi stepped back into the middle of the dirt patch. He beckoned for the fox to attack. The moment Kyuubi darted for him, Kakashi dropped, one palm flat against the dirt. Kyuubi was immediately sucked under until only his head was above ground. The look Kakashi gave him was one of pure contempt. "Sasuke's brother has a lot more talents than I do. Deadly ones. Think about that while you're digging yourself out. Or the next time you're buried, it'll be in a coffin."

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Sasuke wasn't in bed when they opened his door. Kyuubi had made certain they opened it without making a sound. Sasuke hadn't made a sound, either. He was standing in the shadows to the side of the door. He looked them over and shut the door behind them. His eyes narrowed when Naruto flicked on the light. Naruto was absolutely filthy, dirt caked to his clothes and under his fingernails. Only his face was the last bit clean.

Sasuke shook his head. "That means you're not worth talking to."

"What?" Naruto snapped. He was so angry his voice shook.

"When he does that," Sasuke explained. "It means you've said or done something so utterly stupid you're not worth talking to."

"He's done it to you?"

"Once. How did you get out?"

Naruto's shoulders went back proudly, "I made duplicates to dig me out. Five of them!" Actually, he had made the duplicates and then the Kyuubi in each had handled the digging. Even after seeing him do it, Kyuubi hadn't been willing to drift off. Instead, he had helped Naruto make the duplicates by shoving him out until one appeared, dragging him back and then shoving him out again. Naruto had gotten pissed by the fifth one, feeling like a disembodied yo-yo. "I couldn't move under there!"

"That's the point. What do you want?" asked Sasuke. Naruto should have at least hosed himself off. Sasuke refused to be punished if the filthy idiot had tracked dirt all the way up to his room.

"How strong is your brother?"

"Is that why he buried you?" Sasuke demanded. "Idiot! I told you to stay out of it. It has nothing-"

"It does!" Naruto cut him off. "It does have to do with me. If he hurts you-"

"He won't-"

"Bullshit!"

"He won't," Sasuke repeated, keeping his own voice calm. "He won't hurt me unless I attack him. I haven't done that in years. I told you, I don't have the energy to use the best talents I've copied, and he knows I've copied them because he's the one who sent them after me, so it wouldn't matter even if I could use them. I'm not stupid enough to bother fighting him now."

"Then why even bother running? If he's that much stronger and he'll always be that far ahead, what's the point of anything? You might as well kill yourself and call it quits!" Naruto scowled. Sasuke's cool stare made him feel as childish as Kakashi's had. He glared harder at him. "Why did you want to run today if you're so sure it's useless?"

"Because I don't like it." Wasn't it obvious? "I'd rather run knowing it's futile than stand still waiting for it."

"And I'd rather fight knowing I don't stand a chance than stand aside doing nothing!" Naruto snapped.

"It's not the same." Sasuke stepped right up to him, stopping his protest with one look. "He won't kill me for running. He doesn't want me dead." He continued advancing on him until Naruto's back was to the wall. "He'd kill you for fighting. But me? For running? All he'll do is lecture me." His voice dropped to a soft murmur that made the hairs on Naruto's arms stand up. "Foolish little brother, denying the inevitable. After all I've done to help you, all my efforts, you still remain so weak..."

Naruto cringed back against the wall. It wasn't just the voice. Sasuke's face was a mask, void of anything human, and his eyes, the dark curls in his eyes were spinning, multiplying, bleeding together until he felt sick looking at them, but he couldn't look away. Even Kyuubi was struck silent, caught. "Sasuke..."

"Does your fox still want to know?" Sasuke murmured. "I'd never tell, but maybe I could show. He's done it enough, I'm sure to have copied it perfectly. It begins like this and ends with me," his hand rose until his fingertips touched Naruto's temple, "in here."

"Stop it," Naruto whispered. He could feel himself trembling, unable to move, unable to look away. Then those fingers brushed across his face and pressed his eyes closed. Gone. He sagged, braced on wobbly legs.

"I probably could do it," Sasuke said, his voice normal again as he crossed to sit on the bed. "I don't know what would happen if I did, though. To me, or to the person I used it on. If you can keep him from catching your eyes, you're safe, at least from that. Once you look, it's already too late."

"Shit, Sasuke!" Naruto gasped, angry and shaken. "Do you have any idea how scary that was? I can barely stand up, bastard!"

Sasuke's eyes flicked up. "Of course I do. Why do you think I'd rather run than stand around waiting for it?"

Naruto shook his head, leaning on the wall until his knees stopped acting like jello. "Does he actually sound like that? Like he's about to suck your tonsils out?"

Sasuke gaped.

"That's what it sounded like!" Naruto insisted. "Like some creepy old man or something coming on to me."

"Then I didn't do it right," Sasuke grimaced. "He sounds like he's about to ooze under your skin."

"Yeah," Naruto pointed. "That's exactly what I'm talking about! It was all soft and intimate and-" He shuddered, rubbing his arms. "He actually talks to you like that?"

"He talks to everyone like that."

"What's wrong with him? Yeah, insane, I know, but I mean...was he always like that? What was he like before he found out he was a mutant?"

"I don't know," Sasuke frowned. He didn't have many early memories of him, for which he was grateful. The few he did have were pleasant, disturbing compared to the Itachi he knew now. "He was quiet. Perfect. My father was harder on him and prouder of him. I never got to see him as much as I wanted to. Then he left."

"Where did he go?"

"I don't know. Developing his sharingan, collecting talents, experimenting on other people. I'm not the first person he tried to give the sharingan to. Some of those failures must have happened while he was gone, or while I was in the hospital."

"You never asked? I mean, do you even know why he's doing this to you?"

Sasuke shrugged. "At first I was too scared to say anything. When he took me, he burned down the entire building where we lived. Our parents, relatives, hundreds of people who had nothing to do with it. There were no survivors except him and me. His reasons don't matter now. I haven't spoken to him since before he left home. I never will again."

Naruto's stomach twisted. Sasuke's tone was cold, almost casual. Whatever anger and pain he had felt was old now, dried up, impersonal. He spoke of losing his parents as if it had happened to someone else. "You must hate him so much..."

"I would, but you have to care about someone to hate them. I won't give him that." And it bothered Itachi as much as his silence did, as much as anything could bother Itachi. He didn't connect Itachi with the vaguely pleasant memories he had of a brother with the same name. Itachi was the same person, of course, but Sasuke considered him a stranger. Itachi's insistence on calling him 'little brother,' as if that meant something, only strengthened his resolve.

"Spar with me," Naruto said suddenly. Sasuke didn't act upset, but he should have been. If fighting was comfort food for him, Naruto would give him as much as he could stomach. "Come on."

Sasuke followed without comment, pausing only to arm himself. The house was silent when they left. The fields and night air felt the same, as if they were the only ones alive on the planet. But they weren't. Sasuke caught Naruto's eye, "If someone comes while we're out here, I'm putting the shield around you. If you can't accept that, go back to the house."

"You won't even give me a chance to fight?" Naruto scowled.

"I won't give you a chance to die," Sasuke corrected.

"What about you? What if it's not your brother? What if it's someone stronger who wants to kill you?"

"Then I'll use the shield on myself as well." Maybe.

"So why don't you do that when your brother comes instead of running?"

Sasuke stopped in his tracks. He had never considered it. Why hadn't he considered it? The look of disbelief Naruto shot him asked the same. Why not?

"It would hold against him, right? 'Cause if it won't, then there's no point putting me in it, either."

He would be a captive audience, Sasuke thought, imagining it. He couldn't run once he was inside, but Itachi wouldn't be able to make him meet his eyes. Itachi could talk, but he couldn't do whatever it was he did when their eyes met. How would Itachi react to that? Would he get angry? He had never seen Itachi angry. Even when that rogue of his had touched him, breaking the rules, Itachi had been cold, vaguely disappointed in the man, casually dismissive of his pleas for mercy. No, Itachi wouldn't get angry. If Itachi couldn't force him to meet his eyes physically, then he would find another way to get what he wanted, using anyone who happened to be nearby at the time. The no bystanders rule applied to his underlings, not to Itachi himself.

"It would hold," he said, finally. It had to hold against Itachi. He was counting on that. "But it would be pointless to put myself in it. All he would have to do is threaten someone else and I'd come out."

"Don't listen to him."

"He doesn't make idle threats. Using that on myself would be the same as attacking him. It wouldn't help, but it would make things worse."

The more Naruto heard about this guy, the more he wanted to prove everyone wrong. No one was invincible. Given their history, it was understandable that Sasuke was convinced. Brainwashed. Or conditioned to believe, as Kyuubi put it. Kakashi hadn't said he had ever actually fought Itachi. Kakashi was probably convinced just because Sasuke was. Sasuke did sound awfully convincing. But Naruto wasn't about to be scared of someone he had never even met. Kyuubi definitely wasn't.

"How do you want to do this?" Sasuke asked, turning to face him.

"Huh?" Naruto glanced up, remembered they were out here to spar, and grinned at him. "Just watch this. You can tell how much energy I use, right? Do the math for me, okay?" Kyuubi was eager to help, but he didn't feel like being yo-yo'd again. His fox enjoyed shoving him out of his own body a little too much. On his own there was no yanking involved, just a push, more projecting than actually leaving. He made five copies. The last two appeared too close together and immediately started arguing and shoving each other. Just like in his dream, they were prone to fighting. He didn't like taking orders from anyone, even from himself. He scowled at the bickering pair and then looked over at Sasuke. "Well?"

"Well, what?" Sasuke frowned.

"How much did I use on each one? I mean, what fraction of my total energy? I'm trying to figure out how many I can make without actually doing it and risking that 'burnout' thing you mentioned. And how do they compare to me? Could one of them make more of themselves? And if one of them was seriously injured, would he use more energy healing himself than it would take to just make a replacement for him? Does it take energy to keep them around, or is it a one-shot deal?"

"You think I can tell you all that just by looking at them?" Sasuke stalked over to the two who were now yelling at each other. He slammed their heads together. Both disappeared in a whoosh of air. He quirked an eyebrow at Naruto. "Did they even try to heal?"

"I can't believe you just did that!" Naruto yelled.

"Yeah!" one of the duplicates put in. "Is violence your answer to everything?"

"How were they supposed to heal when you just knocked them senseless?" glared another.

The third, who was now red-eyed, just growled.

Sasuke ignored all three of the clones. "Did they?"

"No," Naruto scowled. "They didn't have a chance to even try healing. And I felt both of those impacts the second they got dispelled. Just so you know!"

"But you're not injured," Sasuke noted. "So it's just the memory you get from them? The physical damage doesn't carry over, then." He looked thoughtfully at the remaining three.

Naruto tensed. "What are you gonna-" Too late. Sasuke had dispatched them before he could even finish the question. Their pain and surprise, and anger, immediately transferred over to him. "Damn it, Sasuke! That hurt!"

"Not physically."

"I still felt it! They might be copies, but they're still me! And Kyuubi," he grimaced. "Boy is he mad at you, now..."

"Make some more," Sasuke ordered.

"No way!" Naruto refused. "Not if you're just gonna get rid of them again." Sasuke turned to look at him and he was momentarily thrown by his expression. Gleaming eyes, a small smirk that promised nothing good. "What are you thinking...?"

"Make some more. I'll give them advance warning this time."

"Sure you will," Naruto scoffed.

"They may not be able to heal," Sasuke drawled, "but they should be able to block. And shield."

"Oh." Naruto's eyes widened. "But why would they be able to if I can't?"

"Because they only have as much energy as you do when you're holding it all back. They would have to use it all to shield. If they can, then that's the same amount you should use to shield yourself. The amount it takes to make one of them."

"But I don't know how much it takes to make one of them. That's why I asked you to watch and do the math for me!"

"Then practice and pay attention until you do know," Sasuke snapped. "You'll have to learn to monitor your own energy at some point. I won't always be watching to tell you how much you used."

Naruto didn't like the sound of that. At all. He decided he had interpreted it wrong. Of course Sasuke couldn't watch him every second any more than he could pay attention to Sasuke constantly. He certainly didn't want to rely on Sasuke all the time. That would just be humiliating. He promptly repeated that rationalization to Kyuubi. His fox wasn't really buying it, either, but he agreed to play along. For now.

"Well?"

"Keep your pants on," Naruto muttered. His boyfriend had a bossy streak.

.-.

Iruka and Kakashi both slept in the next morning. After spying on the kids for most of the night, Kakashi had turned off Iruka's alarm, not in the mood for a morning ambush. Naruto's clone technique was a strange one. They weren't real. Oh, they looked real enough, and the way Sasuke dealt with them, they were definitely physical. But they weren't true duplicates. They didn't smell like Naruto. The dirt on him didn't carry over to the copies. Physical damage to them didn't carry back to him. Kakashi had seen a mutant actually duplicate himself. Both copies were half the strength of the original, damage to either carried over when they merged back, and most importantly, any stains or wounds or scents on the original were still there in the duplicates. What Naruto did was something else entirely. The dirt. If he could make facsimiles without the dirt, then he could make ones that didn't look anything like him at all. And neither of the kids seemed to realize that.

What else could Iruka's kid do? More precisely, what the hell were Naruto's actual talents? His base energy was the orange, healing and strength. And shielding, if Sasuke's lesson panned out. The copies were also made with the orange. Just with the orange. There was no sign of the red until one of the clones went red-eyed and the fox took over. Unlike the orange, which was just a fraction for each clone, the fox could use as much red via a clone as he did in the original. He accessed it by remote. That had thrown the kids, literally in Sasuke's case since he hadn't been expecting it. It had thrown Kakashi, too. As many copies as Naruto could make, any one of them having full access to that red, well... Attrition was the first word that came to mind. Misdirection came next. Surrounded by an infinite number of expendable copies, any one of which could attack with full measure of that red at the drop of a hat...it sounded like a lot of fun. It was tempting. But Sasuke had dibs tonight, so Kakashi would just have to wait his turn.

Iruka woke around one in the afternoon, berating him for touching the sacred alarm clock. Kakashi accepted the lecture with equanimity and would have rolled over and gone back to sleep if he hadn't been thrown out of the bed. Letting Iruka sleep in was a mistake, he realized. The man wasn't at all pliable when he'd had a decent amount of shut eye. In fact, he was downright crabby. Kakashi sullenly retreated to his own room and slept the rest of the day away. He understood 'Day of Rest' even if Iruka didn't.

For Iruka, the day was all but ruined. He hadn't just missed half of it, he had lost his chance to pound in yesterday's punishment while it was still fresh in his three troublemakers' heads. Learning that two of them had apparently slept as late as him didn't help.

He had to apologize to Ino first. She had made breakfast for all of them and only three had shown up. Not to mention the pot of coffee that had gone black and thick and been poured down the drain. Or the fact that she had sent Lee up to check on them and knew Kakashi hadn't spent the night in his own room. The way she had sighed, shaking her head at him, he had been half afraid she had a mind to give him The Talk herself.

Despite his late start, he went ahead with his plans. Yesterday had proven one thing, at least. The kids jumped at the chance to compete, so group activities were definitely in order. He had to get their interests clearly sorted before the new arrivals came tomorrow.

Neji needed order, structure, and at least one of the kids available to quietly buffer him so none of the others set him off. He had fancied Sakura for the buffering, since she was quiet and considerate, but she could also be pushy, almost as fussy as Ino, and her outburst yesterday proved she could get just as worked up as any of the boys. Naruto was out of the question. He was much too close to Hinata and he couldn't have been subtle and unobtrusive even if he tried. Lee was the most suitable, since he had so few preconceived notions about the world, with such natural optimism he could provide a perfect counter. But he was as bad at subtlety as Naruto, if not worse. Aware that he was basically playing matchmaker, not one of his strong points, he considered the ones left.

He didn't want anyone getting too close to Sasuke right now. As unfair as it was, he considered him a risk, Kakashi's 'runaway waiting to happen' more now than ever. Naruto didn't seem to have any trouble getting closer, but Iruka suspected a push now, even from Naruto, would send Sasuke over the edge. Besides, he really didn't like the idea of them sharing a room. Even if by some chance Sasuke did agree, there would be the issue of beds. If he moved two in, it would imply he was passing judgment. Moving one in was the same as giving them permission, even encouragement. He couldn't think reasonably about their relationship. His natural, unreasonable, inclination was to say they were too young, would always be to young, end of story. His protective, and even more unreasonable, inclination said they were a bad match. Sasuke was incapable of giving Naruto the unconditional love and acceptance he needed and Naruto was far too protective and obsessive to give Sasuke the space he needed to deal with his own twisted situation. Iruka knew his views were biased. It wasn't his decision to make, so the less he had to do with their relationship, the better.

Kiba already had a roommate in Akamaru, and his personality was too abrasive and rough to foist him off on Neji. They would grate even worse than Lee and Neji would. There was really only one solution. Move the girls in together, offering Sakura anything it took to make it up to her, and place Neji with Shikamaru. He absolutely would not let any of his kids share a room with whoever Tiedoll was sending, even for a short week. And while Shikamaru wouldn't help Neji adjust, he would certainly be the least obtrusive roommate Iruka could give him. And it was only for a week. Hopefully the girls would agree to remain as roommates so Neji could have his own room after the spy went on his way.

He called the girls up to his office and explained his proposal. He was pleasantly surprised that they didn't erupt immediately, though Sakura's simmering eyes said she was close. "There just aren't enough rooms."

"Kakashi's not even using his," Ino scoffed.

Iruka blushed. "He's in there right now."

"But he's not staying, right? It's only temporary."

For a moment, Iruka was caught in the grips of blind panic. How could he have forgotten? Was he getting used to him? Taking his presence for granted so that the moment he did leave- He shook his head. No, he had simply gotten distracted. Kakashi was amusing to have around and he made a nice bed warmer, but that was all. He gave Ino a firm smile. "Of course when he leaves one of you can move into his room. But for at least the next week-"

"I can deal with her for that long," Sakura muttered gloomily.

Ino rolled her eyes. "I'll be the one dealing. But you should move Shikamaru in with Lee instead. Then the new boy can have his own room right from the start."

Iruka hadn't considered that. Shikamaru liked peace and quiet. Lee was anything but. He started to ask Ino how she had come up with that arrangement, but Sakura beat him to it.

"You just want him where your toady can control him," Sakura accused. She shook her head at Iruka. "Lee couldn't get his door open this morning to wake him up for breakfast. She figures if they're in the same room Shikamaru won't be able to ignore her summons. Don't even consider it."

"He doesn't eat enough to keep a bird alive," Ino glared. "It's for his own good!"

Iruka winced. "He hasn't had regular meals in a while." Or any meals at all, for that matter.

"Which is why he should be eating small portions throughout the day," Ino pounced. "He can't do that if he sleeps the entire day away."

"Sleeping helps him recover his energy," Iruka explained, as if he didn't believe it was also a way to avoid being sociable. "Don't forget that he used his talent to bring all of us here. As long as he is getting up to eat each day, we should let him sleep as much as he needs to."

Sakura flashed a smug smile at Ino, who sniffed and looked away. Iruka regretted having to force the two of them together. But as Ino had pointed out, it was only temporary.

"If you'll start moving your things, I'll have some of the boys help move in a second bed."

"You have extra beds?" asked Sakura.

Had they thought he expected them to share? He was surprised they hadn't protested more. "There are more rooms at the back of the house, but I haven't had time," or money, "to repair them. I imagine this building was a hotel or boarding school at some point." Or, more likely, home to an entire clan of immigrants. Some of the other mansions he had looked at before settling on this one had a similar design, though a few had rooms so small they were more like servant quarters or walk in closets with beds crammed into them.

"We're moving into your room," Sakura said to Ino. "It's bigger."

"And has a window," Ino smirked.

"So does Kakashi's. I'm getting his when he moves out."

Ino sniffed at Sakura's challenging tone. "It's too close to the bathroom for my taste, anyway."

"Then it's all settled?" asked Iruka.

"I suppose," Ino conceded. "But they better not be bunk beds you're moving in. I'd rather lose half the floor space than have her snoring over my head."

"As if I'd sleep on the top bunk with a freight train rumbling under me," Sakura sneered.

"Glad to hear it," Iruka smiled. He shooed them out, still bickering as they hit the hall. Two down, one to go. Compared to them, Shikamaru would be easy. Iruka could guarantee him Neji would be the quietest roommate he had ever have.

He was about to close the door to his office when Sasuke showed up, appearing out of nowhere. The boy was as quiet and fast as Kakashi. Iruka hadn't caught a glimpse of him or Naruto since he had gotten up.

"What is it?" asked Iruka.

In response, Sasuke stared off into the distance over his shoulder and presented his right arm. Iruka had to bite his tongue to keep from exploding. The burn extended from elbow to wrist, painful just to look at. And it was drying, meaning it had been exposed for hours. He wanted to demand an explanation, how, when, and he couldn't. Sasuke was doing exactly what he had promised to do. Iruka wasn't about to ruin it by prying. He chewed on his tongue for a moment after healing him, and then asked, "Anything else?"

Sasuke shifted, still not looking directly at him. Finally, he frowned and muttered, "My shoulder hurts. Can you heal through clothing?"

"Of course," Iruka said and did just that.

"Thank you."

Iruka smiled. "You're welcome."

.-.

Kyuubi was prowling. In fact, there were three Kyuubi's on the prowl tonight. One, the original, was back at the house, upstairs in their room. One was in the fields. The other, him, was prowling the town. This was much better than taking over while Naruto slept. The house wasn't left defenseless, and there was no physical danger to him or Naruto in the 'fake' bodies. Even better, after sleeping for most of the day, Naruto was wide awake. Kyuubi could slip back, take a wide view of their surroundings, before taking the lead again.

He had been right the first time. When he extended his senses, leaving Naruto to navigate, he could feel the mutants in the area. All nine of them. The number alarmed Naruto, and left Kyuubi feeling threatened and thus angry.

He tracked the most familiar scent first, the swordsman and the other two, to a hotel. A seedy, busy hotel, thriving enough that he kept to the shadows. There was a fourth mutant in there as well, probably the old man Naruto had met in the mall while he slept. The old man's scent was all over town, often accompanied by the orange-haired teen's. The other two didn't seem to have left the hotel at all except to track them in the fields. To Kyuubi, it was clear those two were the strong ones, biding their time while the other two gathered information. He still didn't consider them a direct threat because Sasuke didn't. They were Iruka's fortune-telling cult. Busybodies, but not necessarily enemies.

He picked up two more at the black-windowed house. The building was empty, a good thing since Naruto was adamant that they not go into the yard. Kyuubi tracked one of the scents to the hospital, where the mutant currently was. Sasuke's 'doctor,' no doubt. His trail also led to a small house nearby that Naruto identified as having been empty as long as he could remember. The For Sale sign was still in the yard. There was no sign of the other one, the flunky. His scent had led from the yard of the dark house, into the fields, and then vanished. Kyuubi had sensed him somewhere near the hospital when he had first started his prowl. Now there was nothing. Even knowing that no damage they took would harm their real body didn't stop him from feeling completely exposed. Kyuubi kept that to himself. Naruto was nervous enough about this, and Kyuubi needed his cooperation so he would be free to do his sweeps without being limited.

'Let's check the house,' Naruto suggested.

'Why? No one's in there.'

'Exactly. So it's safe. Maybe the flunky can teleport like Shikamaru. If you catch his scent by the house but not leading up to it, then...'

Of course. Naruto could be quite quick in his own right. Kyuubi circled the house, still wary of an ambush. The moment he saw the back yard, he pushed Naruto to the front and let his senses flare. The mutant was there, deep beneath a patch of churned dirt, underground. He felt dead. Kyuubi knew he wasn't. Sleeping, more likely. Possibly as aware of them as Kyuubi was of him. The mere possibility had Kyuubi rushing forward, getting them away as fast as he could. Strangeness didn't begin to cover it. That mutant was utterly unnatural. Kyuubi snorted once he deemed them far enough away, trying to get the earthy corpse scent out of his nostrils. No wonder Akamaru had reacted so badly to that mutant. Anything with a lick of animal instinct could tell that...creature...had no right to exist.

'What's wrong with him?' Naruto asked quietly.

Kyuubi shuddered. 'Everything.'

'Then he's dangerous. Strong?'

Kyuubi couldn't answer. When he had sensed him from the house he hadn't seemed any stronger than the others, certainly not compared to the swordsman. Even now, it wasn't his strength that made Kyuubi want away from him. It was just his utter wrongness.

'Like Frankenstein? He is that doctor guy's flunky...'

'Maybe,' Kyuubi admitted, surprised. 'Maybe just like that. Exactly that.'

He shook himself and headed back to the house. The other three mutants were a long way off. In Sisco, or even further out. As fast as he could run, it would still take the other duplicate all night to find them. And his task was the hardest one. He couldn't be spotted no matter what. If the mutants weren't already headed this way the last thing he wanted to do was arouse their curiosity and lead them back here. He would only get close enough to sense them more clearly. Then he was to self destruct. The thought made Kyuubi's stomach roil. But it was the quickest way, and less dangerous than having him backtrack all that way to tell what he had seen. At least they could return to the house and let the original dispatch them.

That was the plan, anyway. Except by the time they got close to the house, the original wasn't waiting for them in their room like he was supposed to be. No, Naruto was in Sasuke's room. Only the fact that Sasuke wasn't to know what they were doing stopped him from rushing up there and attacking himself.

'But it's us,' Naruto said weakly. 'We can't be jealous of ourselves.'

'Do you want to attack them, too?' Kyuubi demanded.

Naruto fidgeted, grumbled, and finally admitted it. 'Yeah. This is totally unfair! How come they get to mess around with Sasuke while we're stuck doing all the dirty work? Cheating rat bastards. So, do we spoil it? Or wait...?'

'Neither,' Kyuubi growled. He turned his claws so they pressed his stomach. 'We off ourselves and go join in.'

'Good idea!'

.-.

"I couldn't sleep," Naruto admitted when Sasuke opened the door to him.

"So you decided to come bother me." Sasuke shook his head and sat back down at his desk. He continued writing in his notebook until Naruto's shuffling started to get on his nerves. He was just about to snap at him when he finally spoke up.

"What are you writing?" asked Naruto.

"Notes. I keep track of all the mutants I've encountered." Sasuke set the book aside and turned on him. "I found my notebook in the drawer of my desk. Any idea how it got there?"

"Oh, yeah! Heh. Uh, when I carried you to your room that time. I thought it was a diary or something. But I didn't read it! Honest."

Sasuke snorted. "You can read it if you want. Maybe you'll even learn something."

"Hah-hah. Just because I'm a slow learner doesn't mean I'm stupid. I figured out how to shield, didn't I?"

"Once. And you couldn't duplicate it."

"I was tired! Now that I've actually done it, I can do it again. I just have to practice, is all."

"So why aren't you out practicing?"

"Because," Naruto said, giving the cutest smile he could. "I wanted to visit you instead."

Sasuke stared. Naruto's expression was so ridiculous he almost laughed. He snorted instead. "Is that supposed to be cute?"

"Oh, come on," Naruto pouted. "I'm cute." He eased closer to him and batted his eyelashes. "Baby blue eyes, adorable smile, golden curls, flawless skin..." Sasuke laughed. Oh, he choked it off the second it came out, but it was definitely a laugh. Naruto grinned and slipped his arms over Sasuke's shoulders. He batted his lashes again. "Can I kiss you?"

"Only if you stop doing that thing with your eyes."

"Spoilsport." Naruto closed his eyes and kissed him. Slowly at first, then more. It felt like they hadn't kissed in forever. He gradually pressed closer until they were flush against each other, Sasuke leaning back against the edge of the desk, his hands lifting up to catch hold on the back of his shirt. He teased, taunting him to take over, and felt Sasuke harden against him. Sasuke really did react fast, not that Naruto was any better. He rubbed, pushing as close as possible while Sasuke kissed him in that way that made his insides melt.

The desk was digging into Sasuke's back. He was about to suggest relocating to the bed when Naruto suddenly stiffened. His eyes flashed open. He would have moved away if he hadn't been pinned in place. "What is it?"

Naruto blushed. He had just gotten a crash of information, memories, along with a whopping dose of jealousy and anger from the town duplicate. He couldn't tell Sasuke that. Instead, his ever opportunistic mind gave him an even better idea. He leaned close, his tongue flicking out to trace Sasuke's jawline. "I want to do something," he whispered. His hands went to Sasuke's waist and lifted him up until he was sitting on the desk. Sasuke was so tense, but when Naruto looked up, his expression was more confused and surprised than anything. Naruto didn't have to make up an excuse for his blush now. His thumbs curled under the edge of Sasuke's shirt and he ducked his head.

Sasuke stopped breathing. What the hell was Naruto doing? No, that much was painfully obvious. He was kissing his stomach and one of his hands was rubbing his- Sasuke's hands snapped down to the edge of the desk and clenched tight. He couldn't breathe.

Naruto looked up, still blushing, but also concerned. Sasuke's expression was stricken, much too pale. Naruto licked his lips. "If it's too much, tell me and I'll stop. Okay?" He could see the way Sasuke's throat worked. When he spoke, it was a hoarse whisper.

"Okay."

Naruto kissed his stomach again, ignoring the scars. Kyuubi had warned him about them and he wasn't going to think about them now. He wouldn't think about anything right now but taking this as far as Sasuke would let him. Inside, he felt as stricken as Sasuke and couldn't believe he was actually doing this. At the same time, he felt giddy as hell and couldn't get over the fact he was actually getting to do this. Sasuke's skin jumped beneath his tongue, his breath coming in sharp bursts, otherwise he was silent and motionless. But his erection was hot and throbbing in his hand. When he stroked it, he felt the tremor work all the way up Sasuke's back, punctuated by another sharp breath. He curled his fingers tighter, working up a rhythm, slow and firm. Sasuke was in no position to thrust into his hand, but the way his stomach flexed, he clearly wanted to. His labored breathing was the most erotic thing Naruto had ever heard. He couldn't stop himself from groaning. He wanted to look at him while he did this.

Sasuke's eyes were closed when he rose, but they snapped open the second he kissed him. A hand whipped up to tangle in his hair. Sasuke kissed him, his tongue thrusting into his mouth, forceful and needy. Naruto moaned, stroking him faster.

This wasn't how he had wanted to do this, but Sasuke had to be close. He was close and he wasn't even touching himself. As if reading his mind, a hand tugged at his pants, undoing the clasp. If not for the grip on his hair, he might have pulled back in surprise. Sasuke's eyes held him as well, smoldering, demanding. Naruto used his tongue to tell him he wasn't complaining, not at all. Sasuke's grip was rough and harsh, dragging another moan out of him. He muffled it in Sasuke's mouth, stroking him just as hard. Their kissing became violent. Naruto struggled to maintain an upper hand, wanting to wring a moan out of him, a whimper, anything. He couldn't. Sasuke froze when he came, silently, his lashes fluttering closed. It was so endearing and sexy that Naruto was the one who whimpered, coming in Sasuke's motionless hand.

Sasuke slumped against him, relaxing for the first time since they had started. Naruto held him tight, kissing his cheek, his neck, even his hair. He wanted to kiss him all over and lick him clean.

"Our clothes," Sasuke huffed into his neck.

"Yeah, messy." He lapped at Sasuke's earlobe. "I was gonna use my mouth," he admitted, "so you wouldn't get dirty."

Sasuke tensed, then pushed him back and kissed him hard on the mouth. "Next time."

"Yeah?" Naruto stepped back on wobbly knees, letting him get down from the desk. They didn't look at each other as they straightened up as much as they could without a washcloth. He should have at least brought a box of tissues. Not that he had expected to get more than a little kissing, and that only if he was lucky. Now...he felt nervous, guilty, and Sasuke still wasn't looking at him. Sasuke had gone to his closet for clean clothes. Naruto went over to him. For a long moment he simply stared at his back. The he hugged him tightly from behind. He tried not to be bothered by the way Sasuke tensed in his arms. "It was good, right? We're good?"

"Yeah."

Sasuke was blushing. Horribly. Even his ears were red. Naruto ducked his face into Sasuke's shoulder and grinned until his cheeks hurt. He should have known. He pressed a few more kisses on Sasuke's neck, and on his reddened ear. "Can I stay for a while? Just...together? Like we did in the fields that time?"

"Go change your clothes first," Sasuke muttered, turning his face away.

If Naruto could have possibly grinned any wider, he would have. "Okay."

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

The field duplicate never made it as far as Sisco. He was still a long way from the three mutants when he dissipated. He never got close enough for a better reading of them, but he did pick up something just before reaching the end of his leash. He thought there might actually be four out there, something he could feel just a hint of, even further out. Possibly on the ocean, boat or plane. He had never imagined sensing anything that far away. Losing the copy proved there was a limit. Either it was distance, or the energy used to create one wore off after a certain amount of time.

Kyuubi mulled that over after Naruto returned to his own room for the night. Sasuke had ended the cuddling session the moment Naruto started dozing off. Afraid of being jumped in his sleep? He needn't have bothered. Kyuubi had already had plenty of opportunities to do that. He had far more restraint than even he had given himself credit for.

He dozed off after a while. Although he didn't actually require sleep the way Naruto did, they had used a lot of energy in the last few days. Naruto slept to replenish the body, Kyuubi to replenish the energy. If they did risk the 'burnout' thing Kakashi and Sasuke had warned of, Kyuubi knew he was the one who would end up out of commission.

That thought followed him into his sleep and he dreamed about his first awakening, just as he had described to Sasuke, except much bloodier. He had been too furious to bother with his claws. Snatching them up whole, still flailing on his tongue and against the roof of his mouth when he chomped down and ground them up. He had vomited repeatedly, not because he couldn't stomach them but because he hadn't wanted them in his stomach. His tails had torn into the buildings around him, his fiery energy racing to burn those out of the reach of his jaws. There had been a few mutants there and they had attempted to fight, to survive. He had swatted them like flies, just one sweep of his tails, each with the force of a tornado. Concrete shattered with each step he took. If he had leapt, just once, the shockwave of his landing might have leveled entire buildings. He had been invincible.

Then he had turned back, why, and licked the little broken body as lightly as he could, why hadn't Naruto healed himself, until the wounds closed, how had he known that would help, and then he had looked down at him, he detested broken things so why, and closed his eyes, stupid, lowering his head to press his nose against him, so stupid, and when he opened his eyes again, so much time lost, he was trapped in Naruto, how had he known his name when he hadn't before, with the knowledge, where did it come from, that to separate again might kill them both, why would it, because something had changed, what, and he would never be invincible again, so very stupid.

He woke simmering in ancient resentment that would never truly go away. He had been a God, or as close to it as any living thing could come, and now he was nothing but a shadow in the back of a teenage boy's head.

'Bad dream?' Naruto mumbled, stumbling into his den.

Kyuubi tensed, still curled tight. He couldn't even blame Naruto. No one and nothing to take that resentment out on except maybe himself. Naruto had been the victim from the start. He couldn't take it out on him. And blaming himself was useless. He couldn't change what he had done and now...he was so deeply connected to the brat he couldn't even wish that he had left him to die.

'Me, too,' Naruto admitted sleepily. Kyuubi was huge right now. He rarely was these days. Naruto climbed onto one of his legs, using the fur to pull himself up and up. Then he tilted forward and let himself tumble down until he was lost in the fur between Kyuubi's neck and one of his curled tails. His fox heaved a long sigh that Naruto echoed. 'No more bad dreams tonight,' Naruto said firmly. That enormous tail curled over his head so everything was dark and warm and they both went back to sleep.

.-.

Iruka went alone to pick up Neji. He had considered inviting Kakashi along, but he didn't see a glimpse of him until he came down Monday morning. Although as friendly as ever, Kakashi wasn't the least bit flirtatious. After dealing with his disappointment, he decided it was just as well. It would have been more fun if Kakashi had been a bit more tenacious. He would regret not sleeping with him at least once before he left. Their brief encounter in his office led him to believe Kakashi was as easy-going in bed as he was out, not at all controlling and selfish the way most self-proclaimed 'experts' often were. He would look back on this as a missed opportunity. Now, though, he knew it was for the best. This week would be difficult enough without that complicating things.

Naruto asked to go with him. It was hard to refuse him. Hinata had confided more in him than she had even in Kurenai. Because Naruto did know so much, he thought that made him the best equipped to deal with Neji's problems. Iruka did his best to dissuade him from meddling. Neji had spent the last year dealing with his problems. What he wanted now was to put them away on a shelf and get on with his life. While it was unfortunate that he insisted on putting Hinata on the shelf as well, it was his choice. She accepted it, even approved in that selfless way of hers. Naruto was convinced he could change their minds, fix things, through sheer determination. Badgering, in other words. Iruka would have to keep an eye on him. Naruto had a bad habit of doing the wrong thing for all the right reasons.

It took an hour to fill out all of the paperwork. Iruka's stomach was tied up in knots by the time it was finished. That shameless disgusting man had brought along a witness. The way both of them behaved toward Neji was infuriating, and there was absolutely nothing he could do except put up with it. How could the courts have placed a kid with someone like that? And to leave him there for so long? Even if it had gone to trial, Neji would have been better off in a detention center. Iruka knew he was overreacting. Neji's attitude during the entire ordeal was condescending and disinterested. In the end, it was Neji who had purchased his freedom, and if he could handle the last minute nastiness with aplomb, the least Iruka could do was keep up a calm front. He did his best. He might have held his tongue all the way back to the house if they hadn't been ambushed in the parking garage.

A teenage boy was sitting on the hood of his car. He was paler than Sasuke, dressed entirely in black, short black hair, dark eyes, and a short tight shirt that left his stomach entirely exposed. Iruka suddenly wished he had brought Lee along, after all. Compared to this boy, Lee's penchant for green spandex would have seemed normal. Iruka had hoped to have Neji firmly established at the house before Tiedoll's 'student' showed up. He should have known better. The boy slid off the hood and presented his hand with a wide smile that touched nothing but his mouth.

"Umino Iruka?"

"Yes." His hand was shaken twice, the gesture as wooden and phony as the smile.

"I'm Sai. The Order sent me." His eyes flicked to Neji and narrowed, making his smile real if not any more pleasant to look at. "You must be the one who murdered his uncle. That was very cleanly done. I'm a great fan of your work."

Iruka could have died. He might as well have brought Hinata and Naruto along. The knot in his stomach rolled, lurching up until he had to struggle not to be sick.

"How nice," Neji said flatly. He looked at Iruka. "Is this person staying with you?"

"Only for a week." Iruka's tone was equal parts apologetic and pleading. He snapped a frigid glare on the smiling Sai. "That is not common knowledge. Kindly keep anything your 'Order' has picked up or predicted to yourself. Understood?"

"Certainly. Though we could use someone like you," he nodded to Neji, "if you ever get tired of the quiet life."

"You're not recruiting any of my kids!" Iruka immediately regretted raising his voice. Neji was staring at him, likely taking exception to the possessive or to the reference to him as kid. Sai looked taken back, though, so maybe it was worth it.

"I apologize," Sai said formally, though his tone was more curious than anything. "It's not my intention to anger you. We desire your cooperation. I will refrain from making offers to anyone else in your care."

"Thank you," Iruka said stiffly. "Let's just...get back to the house."

Neji got in the back, shutting the door in Sai's face when he attempted to join him. Iruka couldn't blame him, though he would rather have had Sai alone in the back than seated right next to him. He had barely started the car when the boy started in on him.

"Is this the best vehicle you could afford?" asked Sai. "The Order would be more than willing to compensate you for your cooperation if you're that low on funds."

Iruka gave a tight smile. "No, thank you. This car is perfectly suited to my needs."

"I've never seen a car without a cd player built into it. It must be very old."

"I like it just fine," Iruka said, as calmly as he could. He was relieved when Sai turned his attention to the duffel bag in his lap. He'd had the radio off on the drive here, content with the sound of the wind rushing through the open windows. The windows were up now and turning the radio on would be a rudely obvious cue for silence. The boy produced a sketch pad and proceeded to stare at him. Iruka bore it stolidly.

"I get nothing from you," Sai remarked. "Are you mentally handicapped?"

"Excuse me?" Iruka blurted.

"Some wild cards are obscured due to brain damage. The lack of activity in certain parts of the brain make trying to view the mentally challenged similar to viewing moss. Except I have no trouble drawing moss, while you are more akin to an inanimate object. I could depict the outside, but see no activity within. Are you very stupid?"

"I am not!"

"I apologize. I didn't mean to offend you."

Iruka clenched his teeth. If the boy didn't mean to offend, then he was the mentally challenged one. Forget being polite. He reached over and turned on the radio. When Sai immediately pointed out how cd players in modern cars eliminated commercials, he turned the volume up.

.-.

Getting them into the house didn't go over as badly as Iruka had feared. Neji had no issue with sharing a room, probably because Shikamaru greeted him with a nod and then rolled over and went back to sleep. He would be the quietest roommate Neji had ever had as well. Sai was impressed by his room, admitting that after the dilapidated vehicle, he had expected far shabbier accommodations. Iruka did not respond to that taunting insult. Most of the kids were in the livingroom. They greeted the newcomers with friendly interest for the most part. There were open stares directed at Sai thanks to his clothing, but that just meant less attention to Neji. He would be retreating to his room any minute now, so Iruka hurried to get the rest of the introductions done first.

"Where's everyone else?" asked Iruka.

"Out back," said Sakura. "Kakashi is giving a lesson. We're not supposed to go near them or else Naruto might get self-conscious."

Iruka couldn't get out there fast enough. When he did reach the back door, he took one look and then blocked the view before Neji or Sai saw anything. "Why don't you...settle in. You can meet Naruto later." He didn't want to leave Sai alone with his kids for even a few minutes, but he wanted them seeing what he had just seen even less. Kakashi was dead. So very, very dead.

Kakashi was still sitting on the rock when Iruka went outside. The naked woman was still standing a few feet away, running her hands over her flat stomach. And Iruka was furious enough to kill. Then the blonde bombshell glanced over her shoulder and blushed. Her hands flew up to cover her breasts and she squeaked out a horrified 'Iruka-sensei!' Iruka could have died.

"It's not what it looks like!" Naruto yelped. He rushed over to stand in front of the girl, who had ducked down to hide her naughty parts. "I was just working on the contours!"

"He keeps making the pelvis too wide," Kakashi put in helpfully. "He did manage to shorten the legs enough to stand up without falling over, though."

"This is all your fault!" the girl wailed from behind Naruto. "I knew this was a bad idea!"

Iruka couldn't get his brain to function. The girl was taller than Naruto, a much higher pitched voice, most definitely female, but the scars were there on her face, wide blue eyes, and... "Kakashi."

"Now, hold on," Kakashi protested, finally realizing the peril he was in. "That thing is as real as a barbie doll and not nearly as attractive. This really isn't what it looks like."

"You will die."

Naruto gulped and whirled around, dispersing the girl clone. Then he made two more Iruka-sized ones to head the dangerous man off. "Look, Iruka-sensei! I'm just working on my talent. This is totally innocent! Honest!"

Iruka halted. At first glance they looked identical to Naruto. Then one of them stepped toward him and fell over. Iruka blinked.

"Stork legs again," Kakashi sighed, shaking his head at Naruto. "You have to lengthen the torso, not just the legs."

"I was in a hurry," Naruto snapped. "Saving your ass, in case you didn't notice."

The other high-legged Naruto was swaying in place, his too-short arms out for balance. Iruka stared at him for a long while, then at the other one on the ground, who was trying and failing to get up. "Naruto. Come here."

"Iruka-sensei," Naruto cringed, moving as slowly as he could to delay reaching him. "Please don't be mad. I was only using the female 'cause it's totally not my body and since he's gay and I like Sasuke it wouldn't be weird or sexual or anything."

That was the first time Naruto had mentioned his interest in Sasuke to his face. Iruka might have paused at that under different circumstances. "Naruto," he said quietly. "Why was she naked?"

Naruto shuffled his feet, sending a quick grimace at the downed stork clone. "I can't figure out how to change their clothes to something I'm not wearing. If I could get the body right, clothes should be easy. It's quicker to make one without clothes than to have them strip down each time. I went through a bunch to get one as good as that one."

"Why would you ever need to know how to do...that?" The look Naruto flashed him was stunned, accusing. There wasn't a single hint of guilt.

"You don't want me to master my talents?" Naruto demanded. "What's the point of having them if I can't use them?"

"I'm not saying that."

"But you're mad at me for experimenting."

"No," Iruka said sharply. "I'm mad at him for letting you think that was okay."

"But he was just giving me pointers..."

"While you were alone with him, in the guise of a very pretty, very naked woman."

Naruto blushed. "You think she was pretty?"

Now Iruka blushed. "That's not the point!"

Kakashi sighed and looked over his shoulder. "Help me out here."

"They haven't been alone," Sasuke called, his tone bland. "Though I did warn the others not to go near the back windows. They haven't tried it so far."

Iruka looked up, spotting him in one of the trees. Somehow, knowing Sasuke had chaperoned made him feel better and worse about this entire situation. Better, because it meant he hadn't misjudged Kakashi, he had simply underestimated the man's complete disregard for common decency...and common sense. Worse, because a Sasuke who was that bland about seeing a naked female Naruto might not have trouble with a naked male Naruto. His belief that the kids weren't doing anything centered around the assumption that Sasuke was too restrained, if not downright shy, to give in to anything Naruto might suggest. This just threw that right out the window.

"It really wasn't weird like it looked," Naruto started again. Iruka's expression was getting more conflicted rather than less. He had known Iruka would throw a fit. Iruka was much too innocent to see a naked girl, even a fake one, and not freak. Kyuubi was snorting in the back of his head. Naruto ignored him. He remembered how much Iruka had blushed during the pregnancy portion of The Talk. Of course Iruka would be horribly embarrassed by the sight of breasts. "It definitely wasn't sexual. That would just be gross. It was more..."

"Clinical," Sasuke supplied.

"Yeah!" Naruto nodded, frowning at Iruka. "You shouldn't have given him a book with so many pictures of female bodies if you didn't want me to see it."

Iruka's mouth dropped open. "I never-"

"Anatomy 2.31," said Sasuke. "Figure 4.2," he flipped the page, "4.3, 4.4, 4.7..."

Kakashi caught Iruka's eye. "I think we have established that Sasuke is more interested in the energy used to make a female duplicate than he is in the way she looks."

"I use a lot more energy," Naruto explained. "I still don't think I'm getting the guts right, 'cause there are still some hard lumps inside that feel weird. It'll probably take even more energy to do it really right."

Iruka shook his head. This was just too wrong for him. "I don't approve. If you and Sasuke want to-" He stopped. Was he seriously about to suggest the two of them do this...bizarre naked experiment alone together?

Naruto squinted for a moment and then snorted. "Sasuke doesn't know what a naked girl is supposed to look like with her skin on."

"Neither do you," Sasuke snapped, glaring down at him.

"I watch movies," Naruto scoffed. "Every horror movie has at least one money shot. I know a lot more about it than you do!"

Kakashi waved at them both. Then he sent an amused look at Iruka. "Left to their own devices, they would have cartoon figures or skinless monstrosities with intestines falling all over the floor."

"No," said Iruka. "Just...no. Look, I'm an open minded person." He glared warningly when Naruto snorted. "I am. But this-" His gaze paused on the book Sasuke was holding. He couldn't believe they were using a school primer to excuse this. "This is wrong. Really wrong. It's ten shades of wrong, Naruto. It just is. There won't be any more of this. Understood?"

"But I've almost got it," Naruto whined.

"Understood?"

Naruto hung his head. "Yes, Iruka-sensei..."

Iruka glanced at Kakashi, offended by the amusement in his visible eye. "Understood?"

"Yes, Sensei," Kakashi pouted.

Amazingly, Sasuke glared back when he turned on him, looking angry enough to argue. Iruka was tempted to take that book from him and hit him upside the head with it. He was the last one Iruka had expected to corrupt Naruto. "Understood?"

"Understood," Sasuke glared. "Provisionally."

So. Sasuke had decided to switch from overly polite to abrasive, had he? Iruka was not impressed. "The provisions being...?"

"Teach him how to heal without putting himself or his fox into a coma."

Iruka flinched, feeling as if he had been slapped. "What?"

"Damn it, Sasuke!" Naruto rounded. "I'll figure it out on my own!"

"How?" asked Sasuke.

Naruto flushed, clenching his fists. "I'll think of something."

Sasuke jumped down, stalking past him to Iruka. "Can I talk to you in your office?"

"Absolutely," Iruka said quietly. He turned just in time to see the second long-legged Naruto fall over. His eye ticked. "Naruto, do something about these two."

"Oh, yeah..."

.-.

By the time Naruto went inside, he was more confused and uncomfortable than anything. He was starting to guess how they must have looked to Iruka. Guilt was creeping up, shame, and maybe they had been doing something really wrong, and not just a something that would set Iruka off. He honestly hadn't seen it that way at all. It had struck him as funny, actually. The first time he had made one of his females strip to show the weird bulge on the side of the waist and the loose way the legs met the hips, Sasuke had almost fallen out of his tree. Sasuke had put up a good front for Iruka, but he hadn't been nearly as casual during the early attempts. Sasuke had taken to the trees to make sure no one came near or peeked into the back yard, but also because he wasn't willing to go any closer to a female Naruto. Even when he was explaining the internal differences to fix that bulge, he hadn't done much actual looking.

It hadn't been nearly as awkward with Kakashi, who found the entire thing absurd. The original idea had been to make a clone who didn't look anything like him. Kakashi was convinced he could, so Naruto had been determined to try. It wasn't until he tried changing the size of the clones that he had some actual success. But then came the storks. And when he tried to make them smaller, only the legs shrunk and they looked like baboons or something. He had made the first female on a whim, just hoping to shut Sasuke up. It sort of worked. Even Kakashi had been shocked to silence. Then came the laughter and grimaces. That first attempt had been his head on a distorted femalish thing. It hadn't just looked bizarre. When he dispelled it, he got feedback of odd pains all over the body.

He supposed that was when the experiment had turned wrong, though it honestly hadn't seemed that way at the time. Sasuke had gone to look through the primers and ordered everyone else to stay away, because the last thing Naruto had wanted was one of them seeing his head on a girl's body, especially a super deformed girl's body.

Now, he guessed he shouldn't have had the copies undress, let alone started making them without clothes. But...he had been so proud of the fact that he could make them without clothes. That had to be the first step to figuring out how to change their clothes so they didn't automatically match whatever he was wearing. He hadn't meant for it to get into really wrong territory. Then again, if one of the girls had seen him, he might have felt ashamed as well as embarrassed. Maybe that was what made it so wrong. Demeaning to women? No, Iruka would never accuse him of that. He wasn't as chauvinistic as Kiba, and he was a long way from considering girls sex objects. Kyuubi, maybe, with his leg fetish, but not him. The simple fact was doing it by himself wouldn't help him know how much energy he used and he didn't want to show his own naked body in front of Sasuke, and definitely not Kakashi. Using the girl version had seemed the obvious solution at the time.

He sighed, trudging inside. Maybe he should have taken Kyuubi's advice and recruited Kiba for this. Iruka definitely wouldn't have been upset if he had been trying to make animal copies instead of girls. But that would have been even harder because they didn't have any anatomy books for animals in the house. As much pain as that first girl clone had been in, he didn't want to imagine what a fox clone would have ended up like. Besides, he still couldn't even change their hair color, forget adding fox fur and tails. He was thoroughly depressed, disappointed, and kinda sick to his stomach. To make matters worse, Sasuke was upstairs with Iruka telling him who knew what. He didn't want to involve Iruka. This whole mess proved he would learn a lot more about his talents if he did it when Iruka wasn't around.

There was a strange boy in his livingroom. Kyuubi, who had been alternating between laughter and encouragement during the experiment, now came to attention. He immediately identified the boy as having come in with Iruka. Since the boy didn't match the pictures Hinata had shown him of her cousin, he had to be the fortune-telling cult's implant. The spy. Naruto scowled. Could a person be a spy if the people he was spying on knew he was there to spy on them? A busybody, then. A nosy, unwelcome busybody. He was sitting on the floor, talking to Sakura as if they had known each other forever. And what the hell was up with his shirt? Slutty girls and prostitutes did the bare midriff thing, not guys. Okay, Naruto acknowledged, maybe he did have some gender biases.

Sakura looked up, leading the boy to glance over his shoulder. He promptly stood and offered his hand with a close-eyed smile that reminded Naruto of Kakashi. Except not, because aside from his interest in Iruka and that whole burying him thing, he didn't hate Kakashi anymore. He hated this guy already. He shook his hand, though, resisting the temptation to squeeze until that smile went away.

"Sai," the boy said. "I'm here on behalf of The Order. It's nice to meet you, Naruto. I've heard next to nothing about you. I was just explaining to Haruno why her talent is currently the most useless one here."

"Haruno?"

"My last name," Sakura muttered.

"Her talent isn't useless," Ino snapped, glaring at Sai.

"This isn't up for debate," Sai said, turning back to resume the discussion Naruto's entrance had interrupted. "Her talent requires extensive medical knowledge to utilize properly. Since she doesn't have a quick way to gain and retain that knowledge, her talent will remain useless for years. She's barely a D class." He shrugged. "I'm surprised someone like her is even in this house."

Ino shot to her feet. Naruto beat her to it. He grabbed the guy's shoulder and swung him around. "Sakura is here because she was invited here. You're only here because Iruka-sensei let you in the front door. Leave her alone or I'll throw your ass back out that door right now."

"I'm sorry," said Sai. "I didn't mean to offend anyone."

The statement was as rote and fake as Sasuke's 'fines' were. Sakura still looked upset. Naruto had a mind to take the guy out back and vent some frustration on him. "What's your talent?"

"I'm an A class. I have multiple mastered talents." He smiled regretfully and shrugged. "You're a C."

"I'm a what?" Naruto demanded. "Are you trying to pick a fight with me?"

"You're a C class mutant. Multiple uncontrolled but potentially useful and dangerous talents. I wouldn't dream of picking a fight with a C, even if we were enemies. We aren't."

"Don't beat him up just yet," Kiba called to Naruto. "I want to know what this class shit is first. Those labcoats holding us mentioned some level stuff, too."

"I heard about that," said Sai. He turned. "Unfortunately, there were too many wild cards involved, including Umino, for us to monitor the situation. All military organizations follow the class system, so naturally they would have ranked you accordingly. The rest of you are B class," he nodded to include Lee and Ino in that. "One fully mastered talent, potentially useful or dangerous. It's you Bs that they tend to capture most often. I can't imagine what interest they could have had in a D," and he shook his head at Sakura. "Unless they hoped to take advantage of your unmastered talent and the damage it could cause. You have the potential to be an extremely proficient B class, but it will take years of study to master." He stopped, cocked his head to the side, and smiled at her. "Maybe that is why they wanted you. To kill you before you could grow up to become a powerful ally to their enemies."

Naruto couldn't tell if Sai was insulting her or complimenting her, or even threatening her. He decided it didn't matter. He was going to kick his ass. Him and his class bullshit. How the hell did he get a lower grade than Ino? Kakashi came into the room from behind him, and he gave an awkward look at him. Now that he knew they had been doing something bad, he probably should feel uncomfortable around him. He couldn't quite pull it off. Given it all to do over again, he would do just the same, except he would have started with the girls immediately. He sighed at himself. He wasn't learning Iruka's lesson here at all.

"What am I?" Kakashi drawled.

Sai's smile vanished, though his tone was as casual as ever. "An A class, of course. You should have hit S a long time ago. Your refusal to master the first talent you copied has kept you at A. Is that intentional?"

Kakashi smiled and ignored the question. "And Sasuke?"

"The little Uchiha is also A class. If he lives to adulthood, he's guaranteed to be S."

"And how many futures show that happening?"

"One, prior to his moving here. Now two, though the presence of so many wild cards make those subject to huge shifts. Umino instructed me not to talk about our predictions, so I shouldn't say more."

Kakashi gave an understanding nod. "Iruka agreed to this under protest, only because he was assured you would monitor without interfering. So what you were just doing with Sakura was...?"

Sai blinked, all expression leaving his face. "I messed up."

"Yes, I think you did. Iruka assigned you a room, right? Maybe you should go to it and...reflect for a while."

"Excuse me," Sai said, with a nod to Naruto as he passed him.

Kakashi watched him head down the hall. Then he shook his head at Naruto. "I think he's new at this."

"I don't like him," Naruto blurted. "I seriously don't like him."

"Join the club," sniffed Ino.

"Who the hell is he?" asked Kiba. "What's he doing here?"

"He's here to spy for some fortune-telling cult," Naruto shrugged. "It's just for the week."

Kakashi sent another look down the hall. "Assuming he lasts that long."

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Naruto was preparing for war. He honestly thought he was going to learn something in the next few days that would make a difference. Sasuke was just interested in keeping him busy. Experimenting with the clones kept him distracted. It also forced him to use his energy deliberately. It didn't matter if a female copy was anatomically correct inside because it would never be dissected and compared to a real one. That wasn't the point. By trying to make one as accurate as possible, he used his energy to focus on minute details. His usage was careful, deliberate, with no waste involved. If he could get used to doing that, there was no reason he couldn't apply the same logic to healing and shielding.

Sasuke agreed that the experiment itself was inappropriate. Parading a naked woman around in front of Kakashi was absolutely wrong. He agreed with that. But it had been working, better than any of his attempts to make Naruto control his energy usage. Kakashi was responsible for that. He forced a person to think around corners instead of attacking head on. Naruto was a bull. Given enough time he probably could ram down walls with that thick skull of his. That was exactly what would get him killed. Iruka could restrict and shelter him as much as he wanted. Sasuke would do his part to make sure Naruto had no involvement with Itachi. But Naruto's stubborn inclination to attack things head on would still be there afterward and it was the afterward that concerned him. Naruto was just begging to be stabbed in the back. As he was now, he would use everything to heal the first blow and have nothing left for the second one. His offensive strength made him too confident to understand just how defenseless he really was.

Sasuke explained some of that to Iruka. He didn't have to go into detail because Iruka was all for Naruto learning to protect himself. Iruka was alarmed to learn that Kyuubi was put into a deep sleep after healing serious injuries, partly because that meant Naruto had gotten enough serious injuries to know what healing them did to his fox. Sasuke definitely didn't go into detail about that.

For his part, Iruka read between the lines. He didn't want Naruto involved. Sasuke didn't want Naruto involved. Neither of them could change the way Naruto was and it was Naruto's very nature to get involved. All that was left was to minimize the damage. Naruto's obsessiveness would be useful. Despite breaking up the experiment, Iruka knew those 'copy' things could keep him occupied for days. If he could help Naruto with his healing, then Naruto would want to fight to test it out and he now had a disposable army of copies to fight with. It sounded like the perfect solution. So what was the problem?

"Kyuubi," said Sasuke. "He won't be distracted that easily. The lessons would keep Naruto occupied, but not him. His is the red. I doubt he could be taught to control the orange. Everything about him is exaggerated and offensive."

Iruka doubted he was just imagining the double meaning to those words. He suddenly wondered how Naruto's fox factored into the two boys' relationship. "Have you had problems with him?"

"He doesn't care," Sasuke said flatly. "He isn't interested in healing or shielding. He's only interested in the clones because he can use the red offensively in them."

That wasn't what Iruka had meant, but on second thought, he didn't really want to know. How many times had Naruto referred to his fox as a pervert? No, Iruka decided, he really didn't need any details.

"Give him to Kakashi."

"What?" Iruka blurted. He was never letting Kakashi near Naruto again. "Why would I-"

"Kakashi will infuriate him," said Sasuke. "Brute force is useless with Kakashi. The fox will exhaust himself trying anyway, or he'll be forced to experiment with that red. Kyuubi's red is at least as versatile as the orange if he can just learn to control it. Either way, dealing with Kakashi will keep him occupied."

"And worn out," Iruka said, catching on. "Are you hoping to have him completely worn out when your brother arrives?"

"No. Naruto fought Kakashi while you were gone. His energy was almost completely exhausted. The fox slept it off, but Naruto was still active. Exhausting Kyuubi would just leave Naruto defenseless. He would still try to interfere. It wouldn't make any difference. I'm going to have to restrain him either way. The point is to keep them occupied with strengthening themselves. Naruto does strange things. I don't want him planning something unexpected." Like focusing all of their attention on creating an attack to pop the bubble from the inside.

"Doing the unexpected is what Naruto excels at," Iruka sighed. "You know, we could always find out what day your brother is coming and just drug Naruto's breakfast so he sleeps right through it."

Sasuke gaped.

"A couple pills mixed in with his orange juice...he wouldn't even notice." Sasuke looked shocked and even outraged. Was drugging him really any worse than locking him inside some shield? Iruka sighed again. "I'm joking. Drugs have no effect on Naruto. He neutralizes them the same way he heals. Even cold medicine doesn't work on him, though oddly enough he still catches colds." He shrugged. "We could still find out what day your brother is coming here."

"How?"

"Kakashi didn't tell you? About the three futures?"

"Oh," Sasuke snorted. "That."

"There's one of them downstairs right now. It would only take a minute to ask."

"I don't want to hear it." It was bad enough knowing Itachi was coming without knowing the exact day. He would never be able to wait for him. And if he took off early, Naruto would follow, making all of the distraction attempts a waste.

"It wouldn't be accurate, anyway. Too many wild cards." Iruka smirked when Sasuke rolled his eyes at the term. "Have you heard anything about this group before?"

"The phone call I got the other day," Sasuke admitted. "Just that they're new, interested in Itachi, and at least one nasty individual has 'plans' for them that I wouldn't want any part of. I doubt they'll be around for long."

Exactly what Kakashi had predicted. While Iruka didn't particularly like the outspoken boy he had let into his house, he didn't want to imagine him hurt. Sai couldn't be much older than Naruto.

Sasuke stood. "I'll send Naruto up."

Iruka's eyes widened. "You want me to teach him now? It's almost lunch time."

"I'll make something."

"I don't want Sai left alone with the others," Iruka protested, half rising from his chair. Who knew what Sai had already said or done to them.

"Kakashi can keep an eye on him." Sasuke waited for more objections. There were none, though Iruka did frown at him.

Sasuke was rather managing, Iruka realized. Accustomed to getting his way? He wondered if that annoyed Naruto as much as it did him. "I'll get Naruto," Iruka said firmly. "We'll do this outside." Sasuke started for the door. "I'll assign someone to help you with lunch. Just to be fair."

Sasuke stopped, stiffening. "That isn't necessary."

"I insist," Iruka smiled. Petty as it was, he did like getting the last word in.

.-.

Lee sat in on the lesson. Iruka hadn't been sure about inviting him at first. Naruto didn't learn well with people his own age. He became too self-conscious, second guessing himself constantly, or so driven to prove he understood right off the bat that he didn't give himself a chance to actually understand anything. It was one of the reasons he had so much trouble with school. He learned better with one on one or self-study. But this was a good chance to smooth over any remaining awkwardness from the picnic debacle. If Lee also picked up something that might help him with his own energy, well, all the better.

Naruto didn't mind having Lee there at all. He still felt awkward about the whole 'flashing girl breasts at Iruka' thing. And Lee had been awfully quiet since that fight. Even Ino was worried about him. Lee had been sitting in the livingroom all day, just staring out the window. As far as Naruto was concerned, a quiet Lee was a troubled Lee. Better to get him involved. If it also kept Naruto from being alone with Iruka, well, all the better.

"I'll be focusing on Naruto," Iruka told Lee. "If you have a question, or want to jump in, feel free." Lee gave a sharp nod. His body language had him focused and eagerly interested, but his silence was a little unnerving. Well, Iruka would give him another day or two and then if he was still troubled, they would have another talk.

Iruka had placed a blanket in the shade at the edge of the trees. Naruto was sitting across from him with his back to the house. Naruto was so nervous he wasn't even fidgeting. Iruka reached back to pluck up some grass and then threw it at him. "This isn't a test. Relax."

"It might as well be," Naruto muttered, wiping his pants off.

"Why didn't you heal yourself after the picnic?" asked Iruka.

Naruto glanced at Lee and shrugged. "It wouldn't have been fair. Kiba and Akamaru came apart, and Sasuke's eyes were black, so I figured talents were out."

"But you heal without trying, automatically," said Iruka. "How did you keep that from happening?"

"I just held it back." His hand curled and pushed toward his stomach. "Pushed it back, locked up inside so it couldn't leak out. That would have been cheating."

"It wasn't difficult?"

"Not really. I've done it with Sasuke. If his eyes aren't red, then he's not using his talents, so I don't either."

"You don't question how you do it," said Iruka. "You know you can, so you do. Instinctively."

"Well, yeah. That's the problem. I do stuff on instinct and then I'm not sure how I did it, so I can't do it again when I want to."

"Most mutant talents work on instinct. Your body knows how, even if your mind doesn't. Think of it like breathing. You can control your breathing if you concentrate, focus, but the moment you get distracted your body takes over because it can, because it needs to. Your energy works on the same principle. If you're diving under water, you take a deep breath so you don't run out and black out. When you're using a difficult talent, your energy concentrates so you'll have enough to do it without blacking out. The more you swim, the more your body gets used to taking deeper breaths until you don't have to think about it anymore. It's the same with energy. The more you use talents that require a lot of energy, the more your body gets used to compressing it in large amounts. When you go from swimming to sitting, your heart keeps racing. Your body needs time to adjust. But it does adjust, on its own, without any help from you."

"But I want to help it," Naruto frowned. "Right? Isn't that the point?"

"Your heart won't stop racing just because you hold your breath and tell it to stop. You have to work with it, slow deep breaths. The point," said Iruka, "is to work with it. It knows how it works, better than you ever will. If your body uses too much energy to heal, that's because the energy is there to waste. The injury is a threat, better to waste energy eliminating that threat quickly and completely than to let it remain. That's your instinct. It's not wrong in itself. It's what keeps mutants from dying the moment their talents emerge."

"But instinct is what I'm supposed to be getting away from!"

"According to Sasuke?" asked Iruka. "You're not like him." Hadn't Sasuke told him? Naruto knew about his brother, so he must have told him something. "He wasn't born a mutant. His instincts are learned responses. Using energy is something he has trained himself to do. Think of it this way, if you suddenly found yourself with an extra leg, your body wouldn't know what to do with it. If your body has any instinctive reaction at all, it would be to view the new addition as a threat, a tumor, something that doesn't belong. Any use of that limb would require conscious effort. After a while, your body will get used to it and develop new instincts, conditioned responses, to deal with it. You don't have that problem. Your body knows your energy, it knows how to use it the same way your heart knows how to pump blood. Your energy is just another part of your body. All you have to do is teach it moderation. Once it gets used to using smaller amounts of energy to maintain the same level of safety - remember, wounds are threats, pain is the body saying it's in danger - then you'll start using less instinctively."

Naruto wasn't getting it. Either that, or he just wasn't seeing how this applied to his immediate problem. He worked better with visuals. Iruka curled a finger, directing him to sit closer. "Now hold your arm out. Good. Where is your energy right now? You're not holding it back and you're not using it for anything, so where is it resting?"

"I can't see it," Naruto frowned. "That's the problem. Sasuke could-"

"No," Iruka said sharply. "It doesn't matter what Sasuke sees. This is about you, what you see. Think about it, close your eyes if you need to. You're a mutant. You have a lot of energy. It's around you all the time. What does it look like? Is it a blurry haze like heat wafting off you? Does it ripple like water or lash up like fire? What color is it?"

"It's orange."

"Because Sasuke says it's orange?"

"Because I like orange," Naruto said stubbornly. "It burns like Kyuubi's does, but not as sharp. It's more...simmering than flaming."

Iruka lifted a hand to hover over Naruto's arm. "Where is it now? You're not using it now, it's resting over you like a simmering blanket of orange. How high is it? Am I touching it?"

"Yeah. It's about here," and he lifted his hand right above Iruka's.

"About two inches, then?"

Naruto's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Is that small?"

Iruka had to fight not to smile at him. "I don't think it is, especially in a resting state. Mine's less than an inch," he confided. "And copper."

"Copper?"

"That's how I've always imagined it, copper with glints of black." Kakashi could call it blue all he liked. To Iruka, it would always be a burnt metallic shade. He curled his fingers, dragging his hand through the air about two inches above Naruto's arm. "Here's yours. Resting, waiting for you to use it. Say I could catch hold of it, snag it, and pull it off you." He used his hands to demonstrate. "Curl it all up like a ball of yarn. How big would the ball be?" He moved his hands apart. "A basketball?"

"Much bigger."

Iruka grinned. "That's pretty big. Now say you wanted to direct energy to your arm. This big ball of condensed energy flattened out and wrapped all over your arm. It would be like a plate of orange armor."

"That's what Sasuke does!" Naruto said excitedly. "Kyuubi hit him full on and it was like punching concrete. I got one of the clones to do it once. They have less energy, more like...half an inch. So..."

Iruka prompted him, "A ball of their energy would be...?"

Naruto moved his hands together slowly. "A melon."

"So that's how much you need to shield. A little more for a leg since it's longer, less for a foot or a knee."

"Yeah."

"That's still a lot of energy, though. If you had a little scrape on your arm you wouldn't put a melon-sized dose of medicine on it. Especially if the medicine stings."

"It burns when I use a lot of it," said Naruto. "When I fought Kakashi that time, I sent a bunch of energy to my legs, like shielding I guess, only my leg muscles were sore and the energy healed them as it moved along. It burned."

"A little medicine goes a long way. Too much can hurt more than it helps. Let's say you have a cut that goes from here," he touched the knuckle above Naruto's pinky and traced a line to the bone of his wrist, "to here. I have a ball of medicine I'm going to put on it. I want to cover it completely, but I don't want it dripping all over your hand. How big a ball would I need?"

"Grape!"

"So that's all the energy you would use. Take a scoop from where you don't need it and drop it on the cut. Once it's there, instinct takes over. It's on the injury, so it heals the injury. As it gets used to using less, but healing just as well, it'll begin to do that on its own. Get used to watching what it does, visualizing all that extra energy dripping off your hand and pooling on the ground. What a waste. Scold it for being so wasteful." Naruto laughed, and he grinned back. "A little scolding can go a long way. You'll have to mop up some spills. Maybe imagine a way to catch what drips off, or make the tunnel so bumpy it can't stream out as much as it wants to. It's rushing through you like the blood in your veins." He curled a hand over Naruto's arm. "Put a tourniquet on to cut it off. Then ease up so just a little gets out, just what you need. Be gentle but firm. It wants what's best for you just like you do. You're not fighting with it, you're guiding it. Visualize it as something physical, something you can see and measure and move. Give it its own personality if that helps. The pesky muscle that's so used to doing its own thing that you have to keep badgering it until it finally accepts that you are in charge, and your way really is the better way."

"Is that what you do?"

Iruka smiled. "Mine is very stubborn. I have to go against my instinct every time I heal. Instinct says to use enough to heal the wound. But I can only use a certain amount before it stops healing and starts transferring instead. My head knows this, but my instinct can't understand. I have to be forceful when I apply a tourniquet to cut it off. It feels wrong to stop when a serious injury is still there. But it's necessary. I imagine it's not that different from what you do when you lock yours inside. Did it feel wrong not to heal yourself after that fight?"

"Yeah, but mostly because of Kyuubi. He's all instinct, especially when it comes to healing. It really bothers him when I hold back like that. He really didn't like me being healed by you, either." He frowned suddenly. "You know, if you really wanted to punish me you should have made me stay like that for a while. Like, no healing for two hours, or something."

"I don't like seeing you injured any more than Kyuubi does," Iruka shook his head. "You know my stance on corporal punishments."

"Switches and belts are for people with no imagination or self control," Naruto mimicked, grinning. "Doesn't stop you from yelling till that vein in your temple pops out."

"Nobody's perfect," Iruka scoffed. "Back to the topic. From what I understand, your healing is a function of your energy, attuned to you and your needs, to help you keep safe from threats, injuries. How did that work when you healed Sasuke's arm?" Naruto looked away, fidgeting suddenly. "When I heal myself, I treat my own injury the same way I do injuries on others. If the wound is too severe for me to heal, my energy just loops until I settle it down. Your healing is meant for you, as natural to you as your blood. I don't see how that could heal someone who isn't you."

Naruto grimaced. "It's, uh..." He rocked back, shifting uncomfortably. "Kyuubi says that's a really good analogy. Like a blood transfusion."

"A blood transfusion only works if the blood types are compatible," Iruka said slowly. "Otherwise the new blood isn't incorporated. You're back to the body turning on an extra limb as if it were an enemy, a tumor."

"That was a good analogy, too," Naruto mumbled. "Um...it's kinda...well, it doesn't work right," he finally admitted, hanging his head. "When we healed his arm, we sort of forced our energy into the break so it would heal from the inside like it does in us. But...Sasuke's energy was already there and it's not, well, compatible, I guess." He looked up through his hair, not lifting his head. "We sort of burned the energy off his arm and forced ours in there so it was left like some kind of tumor."

Iruka was appalled. "Naruto!"

Naruto straightened up with a jolt, his eyes wide. "It was a big mess, mostly Kyuubi experimenting and me not thinking it through, but we already settled all that, so we're okay now. It won't happen again, and Sasuke's shielding more now that he knows how strong we are, so it's not like he'd get another break. I think it hurts me more than it does him when he shields. He's really good at that. And it's not a problem with open wounds, since we can just leave a little energy on him and it just seeps right into the scratch or bi-" Naruto shut his mouth with an audible click.

Bite. He had been about to say bite. Iruka couldn't believe it. They had clearly been sparring with talents. As strong as Naruto was and as fast as Sasuke was, how could biting even be a possibility? Surely they had better ways to hurt each other. What kind of twisted relationship did they have?

"If the energy isn't compatible, what happens to the infected limb?" asked Lee.

Naruto could have hugged him. He grinned gratefully instead. "Sasuke said the orange hovers without mixing. I figure it's like dead skin. Eventually it'll just...slough off and then new skin - energy - will grow up to take its place."

"Interesting." Lee looked at Iruka. "That isn't what happens when you heal?"

"No," Iruka sighed. "I don't leave my energy behind when I heal injuries. Unless the person's energy reacts badly to any foreign contact," like Shikamaru's, "there's no issue of compatibility." He looked at Naruto, who was determinedly avoiding his gaze. The less he knew the better. He kept telling himself that. It wasn't working very well. "I think that's enough for now. Let's see how lunch is coming." And whether Sakura had fared better working with Sasuke than the boys had.

.-.

Iruka didn't get a chance to monitor Sai at all as the afternoon progressed. He took Kiba and Akamaru to the vet first. The dog was given his shots and a general checkup, and pronounced the best behaved animal the man had ever seen, if a little undernourished. The man tried to sell them a grossly overpriced bag of dogfood that wouldn't have fed Pakkun for a week, and did con him into paying thirty dollars for a one-month dose of flee and tick drops. He went on for so long about how nothing store bought would ever work and how anything used would simply poison the animal that Iruka bought it mostly to shut him up. He had no intention of coming back every month no matter what the vet said. The man also tried to talk Kiba into getting Akamaru neutered. That hadn't gone over very well. Akamaru got just as angry as Kiba did when his manhood was threatened.

Then he took Neji to pick up his things from storage. Hinata had brought everything with her when she was adopted by Kurenai, and had Neji's belongings stored away, ostensibly because Kurenai's attic was tiny, but mostly so Neji could retrieve them without making direct contact. They would see each other eventually, of course. The town was small and they would be going to the same school, not to mention how welcome Hinata was at the house. But that was eventually, not today. Neji didn't waste time getting what he wanted. The rest would be left for Kurenai to sort through, mostly furniture and a few boxes marked antiques. She would probably keep the latter in case one of the kids decided they wanted them a few years down the line.

Once they got back, there was the unpacking, taking what wouldn't fit in the shared room up to the attic. By the time he had a moment free to worry about Sai, a smugly smiling Ino informed him that he had been sent to his room by Kakashi and hadn't come out all day. Iruka was speechless. So that was why he hadn't seen him at lunch. While he disliked the boy on principle because of who had sent him, and personally because of his apparent attitude problem, he wasn't going to have him starving on his watch, or being mistreated at all, for that matter. He left Ino working on dinner, with Lee once more playing errand boy, and went upstairs. That was another thing he disliked, having Sai in Sakura's former room put him much too close to Naruto.

When Sai opened the door, Iruka's eyes were drawn to the desk. There was a computer on the desk. Not a laptop, but an actual computer complete with a satellite internet receiver and other parts Iruka didn't recognize. A second smaller desk stood to the side with a scanner and printer combo, and on a shelf below that was a fax machine. What the hell did he need a fax machine for? Sai hadn't brought anything but a duffel bag. "Where did all of that come from?"

"I create things from sketches. I can also store things in sketch format, but the slightest smudge would cause damage when I attempted to extract it later. I only do that with inanimate objects. I could duplicate the organic machine of a living creature, but it would have no more personality than a plant. I don't store those. How can I help you?"

"Um." Iruka blinked. "I heard Kakashi sent you to your room?"

"He suggested I take some time to reflect," Sai nodded. "This is my first field assignment as a recorder. I usually accompany a control team. I have never dealt with wild cards before. I find you very disturbing."

His expression and tone were so casual, Iruka was taken completely off guard. "Me?"

"I have never met someone I couldn't draw. Tiedoll did warn me that he couldn't draw you, but I didn't believe I would have the same difficulty. This is rather like having a statue speak to me. I don't understand."

Neither did Iruka. The boy certainly didn't seem disturbed. "I only have a minor healing talent-"

Sai shook his head. "That's not the issue. I've met mutants at all levels and recognized them immediately. To me, you're not a mutant. You're not even alive. If I drew and extracted a sketch of you, it wouldn't even function as an organic machine. It would be a shell."

"Well. Um. I don't know what to tell you."

"Exactly," Sai nodded. "To investigate you, I'll have to find out what the others see when they look at you. That will involve talking to them."

Iruka sighed. "You're not forbidden from talking to them. I just don't want you influencing their choices by telling them of future events that may or may not happen. And I don't want you inviting any of them to join your group."

"You flatter yourself by thinking I would. Hyuuga is the only one we could use right now. I knew he would refuse when I suggested it."

"Then why did you?"

"Because we could use someone with his talent," said Sai. "And because I'm a great fan of his. Only a few wild cards have had full control of their talents the first time they used them. He's a rare exception. I find that fascinating."

He didn't sound or look fascinated, or interested at all, for that matter. Maybe he couldn't help it. "Why did they send you?" Surely they could have found someone better able to interact with others.

"I'm the only one with recording talents who has had direct contact with Uchiha."

"Sasuke's brother? You've actually met him?"

Sai grinned suddenly. "He threatened to kill me."

And that made him genuinely happy. Iruka gave up. He wasn't going to understand this kid unless he studied him at length. He didn't want to. Just talking to him for a few minutes made his head hurt. "Dinner should be done soon if you're hungry," he said. Then he left. Sai didn't waste any time shutting the door.

Everyone showed up for dinner. Naruto attempted to engage Neji, asking if he had settled in okay, if he wanted to look around town tomorrow, along with Shikamaru if he was interested since he hadn't gotten out much either, just harmless small talk. Neji mostly answered with shrugs, but Naruto wasn't the sort to let that discourage him. He shifted the topic to food and suddenly almost everyone was talking at once. It had been sunny for days, no sign of rain. There was a charcoal grill out back and plenty of beef in the freezer. Kiba and Ino immediately began arguing over who could cook meat better. Shikamaru made a quiet comment about possibly building a fire in the dirt patch out there. Naruto somehow heard him over the others and pounced, prompting Sakura to give a mournful sigh about marshmallows.

The discussion carried into the cleanup, most of them still arguing as they brought their dishes and anything else they could grab into the kitchen with them. Not at all organized, but Iruka much preferred this sort of group effort over individual chores. He especially liked that Neji and Sasuke automatically followed the others, carrying their dishes in despite the fact they weren't participating in the talk itself. Then he realized he had been left at the table with Kakashi and Sai, both of whom were staring at him. He rose quickly and began gathering up the leftovers the kids had missed.

"What do you see in him?" Sai asked Kakashi.

Iruka didn't look up, but he did notice that Sai used a differential tone with Kakashi. He felt a rush of annoyance. It was his house. He should at least garner as much respect from the kid as Kakashi did.

"With the sharingan, you mean?" Kakashi looked over at Iruka. It was taking him an awfully long time to stack those dishes. He smirked and shook his head at Sai. "I thought your group knew everything about me. Shouldn't you know this, too?"

"Not where he's concerned. Now that we have a name, the research division is working on a back trail. That doesn't help identifying what he is."

Iruka sighed, giving up any pretense of ignoring them. He frowned at Kakashi. "He thinks I have brain damage or something that prevents him from reading me the way he does others. So he wants to know what the rest of you get from me that he can't see."

Kakashi quirked an eyebrow at Sai. "Can you read mutants with mental blocks?"

"I'm not telepathic," said Sai. "What I get is insight into the type of mutant I'm looking at, one talent or a variety, the degree of control or lack thereof. I get even more information by drawing them. Blocks make mutants harder to draw, but not impossible. Aspects are blurred or completely fogged out, usually the eyes. Lee has a huge block. His eyes would be entirely in shadow, but I could still draw him. With Umino, there's nothing. I don't even see a flicker of life within."

"He finds me very disturbing," Iruka informed Kakashi, with a wry smile.

"How strange," drawled Kakashi. "I see you as clearly as anyone."

"With the sharingan or without it?" asked Sai.

"That's a telling question," Kakashi informed him. "Is it possible your group has no idea how the sharingan works? That the reason you guys have so much trouble understanding the radical shifts Itachi causes is because you can't figure out what his main talent actually does?" Sai's expression was absolutely blank. Kakashi laughed. "Sorry, kid. You're not going to get answers about the sharingan from me. I might use this eye for a few things, but I'm definitely no expert. If you really want to know, you should be talking to Sasuke. Except you can't. Right?"

Iruka flashed a confused look between them. "What? Why not? He's-"

"Anything I might say directly could be considered interference," Sai stated. "I'm here to monitor Uchiha's influence on the uninvolved people living in this house and to learn as much as possible about the resident wild cards. The little Uchiha is outside my jurisdiction."

"That could be tough when you're eating at the same table as him," Kakashi smirked.

Sai shook his head. "As long as I don't instigate anything, it's not an issue. Tiedoll's team has already established contact and learned as much as they can from him at this point. They'll be leaving before Uchiha arrives." He smiled. "I have to stay."

"Sasuke's brother threatened to kill him," Iruka told Kakashi. He looked at Sai. "Do you think he'd attack you just for talking to Sasuke?" How would he even know?

"Not necessarily. To date, we haven't been able to predict anything Uchiha does except where his brother is concerned. The little Uchiha has been his pet project since he made him as a mutant. He is fiercely protective and possessive of him." Sai shifted his attention to Kakashi. "As an INTJ, he has focused on the little Uchiha to the exclusion of all else. When you took him from Japan, Uchiha's attention shifted. He is on the move now, looking at the bigger picture, no longer content to pull strings from behind. We thought he was coming to take back his pet project, because that's the only thing that can keep him occupied for any period of time. No matter what else he's involved in, he still comes back to that. Now, there's doubt in the Order over whether his coming here has anything to do with the little Uchiha at all. He may be after one of you wild cards," and he looked sharply at Iruka. "If that's the case, the rules change. He threatened to kill me if I ever used my talents on the little Uchiha. If he attempts to take a wild card from here, then I'll interfere directly. There's something about my talents in particular that he thinks could adversely affect his pet project. As much time and effort as Uchiha has devoted to the project, he'll drop everything if his work is threatened."

"Is there a particular reason you won't refer to Sasuke by his name?" Kakashi drawled. "A conscious effort to dehumanize him, maybe?"

Sai blinked in surprise. "He's the smaller of the only two Uchihas left. I did consider Uchiha-chan, but was advised against it. Most refer to him as the little Uchiha to avoid confusion. We only use first names when we have no last name to go by. Using one's first name implies familiarity, and people are easily offended by that."

"If Sasuke hears you calling him 'the little Uchiha', he'll be easily offended. I guarantee it. Call him Sasuke."

"Very well," Sai agreed. "Though I don't intend to address him at all unless I'm forced to in order to redirect Uchiha's attention."

"Do you really believe he might not be coming here because of Sasuke?" asked Iruka.

"No. I'm sure his reasons have everything to do with the - with Sasuke. We had no warning of the wild cards here. Uchiha wouldn't have known, either. I see no reason for him to focus on this part of the world except that Sasuke is attempting to stay here. The others drawn here believe the same. Tiedoll's discovery of two wild cards here has many in the Order worried. I don't agree. Naruto-" He stopped and frowned at Iruka. "What's his last name?"

"Stick with Naruto."

"Very well. Tiedoll drew an alarming sketch of Naruto. While I do feel an unusually large number of talents in him, his inherent lack of control makes him of no interest. Uchiha has been very consistent in that regard. He's only interested in mastered talents. He also focuses exclusively on adults. Even when he identified me as a possible threat, he didn't kill me outright because I'm not an adult yet. We believe Sasuke is responsible for that. Uchiha has no morals of his own, but he is strongly invested in keeping Sasuke sane and alive. Involving bystanders or forcing him to kill people he considers too young would compromise his morals, possibly even push him toward suicide. Uchiha is well aware of that. He seems to have modified his own behavior to fit those standards. Naruto may be of interest to him years in the future, but not now. I'm convinced of that. Others in the Order aren't convinced."

Kakashi sent a sly look at Iruka. "You're an adult."

"I'm sure he could find a better healer than me," Iruka scoffed.

"Exactly," nodded Sai. "There's no reason for him to be interested in either of you. As for healers, he has only allowed one to work for him. The fact that they're enemies doesn't seem to matter. Should anything happen to Sasuke, Uchiha will send for that healer and he will come without hesitation. Their relationship has us baffled, but it has remained that way from the very beginning. Unless that healer were to die, I doubt Uchiha would even consider replacing him. Is your healing talent very strong? Unique in some way?"

"I can only heal minor injuries."

Sai stared at him for a long moment and then frowned at Kakashi. "You won't tell me anything you see in him?"

"I don't see anything that would interest Itachi," said Kakashi. "Other than that? Nope, I'm not saying anything." He smiled. "What I see is none of your business."

Sai rose and turned back to Iruka. "Will you consider it interference if I speak to Lee about someone he knows? The Director faxed me some information he believes will make him very happy. It's nothing that would influence his choices, simply information on one Maito Gai's recent activities."

"Guy?" Iruka demanded. "Lee's 'mentor in all things'?"

Sai blinked, leaning away from him. "The Director referred to him as a father figure. I'm not versed in either of their particular cases. The man has only been active in isolated rural areas. He was recently adopted into a very primitive tribe. It's meaningless information. The Director just thought Lee would like to know. If you consider that interference, I won't-"

"Not at all," Iruka said quickly. His grin bordered on predatory. "I'd like to hear this as well. I'm very interested in that man's current location. And I'm sure Lee will be delighted."

"Planning to send him an angry letter?" asked Kakashi.

"It wouldn't reach him where he is now," said Sai. "The Order could see it delivered at a later date if you like, in appreciation of your cooperation."

That offer was much better than bribing him with money. Iruka doubted a lecture would have the same impact in written form, but Lee would probably love a chance to make contact. "I'll consider it. Let's get Lee now." He smiled at Kakashi. "Be a dear and take that stuff into the kitchen, would you? Thanks."

Staring at the half cleaned table, Kakashi wondered if Iruka was really that clueless. Too distracted to think clearly? Or maybe it was all a front? Time would tell, he supposed. So much to think about. The shadow of that drug kept Iruka all but invisible to Sai and his 'Order' friends. Only a talent like the sharingan could see through it. His sharingan thrived off Iruka's energy, the benefits of which would be double for someone with two of the eyes. Really, it couldn't have been more obvious. Iruka had gotten so comfortable with him sharing his bed and flirting with him that a single day without flirting made him think he had given up. The fact that Kakashi was making him drop his guard for a surprise ambush couldn't have been more obvious. Really, Iruka was ridiculously obtuse.

Reminding himself to ask about that 'INTJ' thing, he set about clearing the table. Reduced to kitchen boy, was he? Treated just like one of the kids. His plan had worked so well he almost felt sorry for the man. Except he didn't. Iruka would thank him later. Assuming he wasn't too breathless to speak at all.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Lee was on cloud nine. His mentor had married, undoubtedly to someone as pure and youthful as himself. And it was a woman, so there could be children. He could barely control his excitement. Sai had warned him that it would be months before a letter could be delivered. As much as his mentor moved around, it would be even longer before he could visit. But Lee knew he would, bringing his bride and any children they might have along with him. He could hardly wait.

Ino declared it cause to celebrate. She had the perfect game in mind. It took some wheedling to convince the others, namely Iruka. 'I've Never' was a drinking game and Iruka wasn't about to allow them alcohol. Ino's solution was to use soft drinks as a substitute. A caffeine high and anyone who took a bathroom break automatically lost. Those who didn't like carbonated sugar, namely Iruka and Sasuke, could drink coffee instead. And since she was certain she had the game in the bag, the ultimate winner would get to assign penalties to all the losers. It was perfect. Most of the others agreed. The only problem was that Iruka didn't have any soda in the house. They had to make a trip to the gas station, the closest place still open at seven in the pathetic little town.

Iruka wasn't sure about participating in the game. If Kakashi hadn't insisted on playing, he would have gone up to his office and left the kids to it. They were much too old for this. It was ridiculous to have adults playing right alongside the kids. Besides, while he had never played games like this at that age, he knew very well how they turned out. Sexual topics, embarrassing revelations prompting questions no one wanted to answer. He retreated to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee, filling a thermos with what was already done. He muttered under his breath the entire way. They were going to be up all night. Lee with a sugar buzz. There was a very good reason he didn't provide Naruto with caffeine. He was convinced it had no more effect on him than any other drug, but Naruto certainly bounced off walls as if it did. Why had he agreed to this? They were in a good mood and wanted to do something fun together. Still...

"Are you going to be a party pooper?" asked Kakashi.

"No," Iruka muttered, as he gathered enough cups for everyone. The carpet would be ruined at this rate. He should at least insist they do this in the dining room. "I can't believe you actually want to play a childish game with them."

"It sounds like fun," Kakashi smiled. "And I'm sure you'd rather have an adult or two present to make sure it doesn't get out of hand."

"So you're planning to chaperone. I see."

Kakashi sighed. "You're too self-conscious. Are you really that afraid of being embarrassed in front of them? Just think, it'll make you more approachable if you hang out with them."

"Maybe. But an authority figure has to be respected." Iruka snorted. "Sai has no respect for me at all. The others do and I'd like to keep it that way. If they start thinking of me as one of them, they won't listen to a word I say."

Clearly, Iruka was that self-conscious, with strict ideas of what it meant to be the 'adult' of the house. Kakashi knew better. "Slumming once in a while won't strip you of your power. They respect you because they like you. That isn't going to change. As for Sai..." He let out a quiet chuckle. "That kid is a foot soldier. He'll respect his superiors because that's his job. Otherwise, he only respects those he sees as being stronger than himself, as a mutant. It's not about age or experience, just what he sees with his talents. You can't take that personally. I really doubt any of the others are going to adopt his attitude, so it doesn't really matter what he thinks."

"It annoys me," Iruka admitted.

"I can tell."

Lee burst into the kitchen with five two liters in his arms. Naruto and Kiba followed, equally loaded. Iruka gaped. "Isn't that a bit much?"

"There's a lot of us," said Naruto. "And we had to get a variety since we don't all like the same thing." Ino came in with a twenty-four pack in each hand. He grabbed one and set it on the table. "Like root beer," he said to Iruka.

"Root beer doesn't have caffeine," Iruka protested.

"Barq's does," said Ino. "A and W cream soda, too, but they didn't have any of that. It's too bad. Sakura loves that stuff."

"Big Red tastes about the same," said Kiba.

"Assuming she'll drink it," Ino scoffed.

"I've never had soft drink before," Lee told Iruka excitedly. "I'm going to try them all!"

"Be sure to use that 'never' in the game," Ino smirked. "If you can get it in before you have to drink some, it's a great one."

"We're doing this at the dining room table," Iruka said decisively. He wasn't about to have fifteen two liters all over the carpet. Fifteen. There was no way they needed that many of them.

It didn't take long to get them all settled at the table, in the same places they had been at dinner. Iruka was surprised Neji was participating. He probably was doing it to avoid being badgered, rather than out of any actual interest in learning more about the others. Much like Sasuke and Shikamaru, no doubt.

"Lee gets to go first," Ino said as soon as they were all in place. Naruto and Kiba groaned. She frowned at them. "It's his celebration."

"I've never drank soft drink," Lee said with a wide grin. Everyone took a drink except Sasuke.

"You're like an old man," Naruto grimaced at his boyfriend. "You've gotta do more kid stuff."

"I'll go next," said Kakashi. "Since I'm the oldest."

"What does that have to do with anything?" asked Naruto.

"Be quiet and respect your elders," Kakashi sniffed. "I've never worn a skirt." He grinned when Iruka gave him the nastiest glare imaginable as he and the girls took their drinks.

"Iruka-sensei!" Naruto yelped.

"I was a kid," Iruka scowled, a furious blush breaking on his face. "It was a joke for Halloween." Kakashi was so dead.

"You must have had an interesting childhood," Ino commented, with a completely straight face. She didn't crack until Sakura started laughing.

"What kind of skirt?" asked Lee. "A dark russet would go very nicely with your complexion."

Even Iruka had to laugh at that. "It was black and that's all I'm saying on the subject. I'll go next. I've never groped Ino."

"Oh, that's low," Kakashi drawled. He took a drink of his coffee.

"I thought you were gay!" Naruto blurted. "What were you groping her for?"

"He thought I was Sasuke," Ino informed him.

As expected, Naruto blew up. "What! Why you-"

"I wasn't planning to grope anyone," Kakashi sighed. He sent a smoldering look at Iruka, who had a sweetly innocent smile on that diabolical head of his.

"Shikamaru next," said Ino. "We can go clockwise. Though, it'll skip you," she said to Iruka, "since you've already gone this round."

Shikamaru made a face at being singled out. "I've never groped a guy."

Quite a few drinks were taken. Iruka shot a startled look at Neji when he took one. Sakura rolled her eyes when Ino drank with a smug grin. Naruto scowled as he took his. What he and Sasuke had done together didn't count as groping since it wasn't one-sided. But what Kyuubi had done on the roof that time definitely did. It wasn't fair that he had to drink for two. Kiba slouched resentfully in his chair as he took his drink. It wasn't like he had wanted to grope them during that stupid fight. Kakashi looked as smug as Ino when he downed his coffee. He promptly refilled his cup, topping off Iruka's while he was at it.

"I've never kissed a girl," said Neji. He raised an eyebrow when Ino took a big drink.

"There's nothing wrong with being bi," she scowled, at Kiba in particular.

"I didn't say there was," Kiba muttered, looking away quickly. He was blushing.

Naruto frowned when Iruka took a drink, and he scowled when Kakashi took an even bigger one. Was Kakashi gay or not? Sai also downed his drink, refilling it with the two liter closest to him. Naruto wasn't buying that at all. Sai had to be gay to dress the way he did.

"I'm keeping score, by the way," Ino said before taking her turn. "That way if our bladders outlast the soft drink supply we can still determine the winner."

"And we're supposed to trust you to keep a fair count?" asked Sakura.

"Wait," Iruka said quickly. "I bought a message board." He fetched it from the kitchen. He had picked it up before taking Hinata home from the store, hoping to prevent any more missed messages. He quickly tallied the results so far. Ino and Kakashi had the most. Somehow, that didn't surprise him.

"Ready?" asked Ino. "I've never slept with a dog."

Iruka, Sasuke, Kiba, Kakashi, and Shikamaru all drank. Naruto scowled. He was going to have a talk with Pakkun about sneaking into bed with his people.

Sakura smiled playfully. "I've never touched Sasuke-kun." Him shoving her against the door the first time they met didn't count since he had been the one touching, not her.

Sasuke rolled his eyes as he took a drink. He was rather put out that so many people drank as well. Iruka, Kakashi, and Naruto had excuses. Ino and Kiba were just annoying. He went ahead and finished off his coffee before it could get cold. Kakashi happily refilled it for him.

"My turn?" asked Naruto. "I've never..." He blinked. Between him and Kyuubi there wasn't much they hadn't done. His eyes moved around the table and narrowed on Kakashi. "I've never had sex with a guy." He was planning to as soon as possible, but that didn't count. Kakashi took his drink as expected. But Naruto was shocked when quite a few of the others also drank. Sai wasn't surprising, but Shikamaru and Neji? Hinata's cousin was gay? And- "Iruka-sensei!"

Iruka groaned, wanting to sink under the table. "I'm much older than you, Naruto."

"But!" Aware that he was panicking, Naruto struggled to keep his world from crashing down around his ears. Iruka couldn't have! With the pervert?

'They haven't had sex yet,' Kyuubi assured him.

That was even worse! He'd had sex with someone else? "With who?"

"That's none of your business," Iruka winced.

"But!"

Ino snapped at him. "Did you expect him to be a forty year old virgin?" She was just as upset as Naruto by the results of the round, but at least she could be realistic about it. Teenagers experimented. Just because Shikamaru had apparently had sex with a guy didn't make him gay. He could be just as bi as she was. But this did make him sharing a room with Neji even more unacceptable. That was it. She would hound Iruka until he moved Shikamaru in with Lee. There was no other choice. "Sasuke-kun?" she prompted.

"I've never touched a microwave."

Naruto took a moment out of his horrified panicking to scowl at him. "I knew you were gonna use that." He took a drink along with everyone else. There were quite a few cups to refill.

"Am I allowed to drink even if I haven't lost the round?" Lee asked Ino. This was his first drink and he felt rather left out.

"Sure," said Ino. "You'll win at this rate. You might as well get some sampling in."

"I've never kissed anyone," said Kiba. Everyone except Lee and Sakura drank. At least he wasn't the only one here with zero experience.

Sai smiled pleasantly into his drink. "I've never slit anyone's throat."

Sasuke was the only one who drank, drawing quite a few looks. Naruto bit back a growl, tempted to go over there and break Sai's glass on his smiling face.

"That was macabre," Kakashi drawled. "On that note, I've never killed anyone."

Neji, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sai all drank. Sakura also took a drink.

"That wasn't your fault," Ino scowled at her. "It was an accident."

Sasuke gave Naruto a similar look. "That wasn't you."

"I'm drinking for both of us," Naruto muttered.

"Oh, yeah," Kiba mocked. "This is a really fun game."

"Your turn," Kakashi told Lee.

"I've never held anyone's hand."

Sasuke was the only one who didn't drink. Naruto frowned at him. "You must have held your parents' hands, when you crossed streets and stuff?"

"No."

Naruto grabbed one of his hands and held on while he took his drink. "Now you can't say you never anymore."

Shikamaru muffled a yawn and finished his glass for the hell of it. He refilled it with a can of the rootbeer. "I've never worn green."

"Oh!" Lee said in surprise. He flashed a wide grin and downed his drink. Naruto, Neji, and Sasuke were the only ones who didn't drink with him.

"I've never worn orange," said Neji.

"Okay," Naruto scoffed. "Get the guys with a preference for one-color wardrobes. I see how this is." He quirked an eyebrow when Lee happily drank again.

"Orange socks," Lee smiled. "Very warm."

"You're perfect for each other," Ino scoffed. "Take a drink, Sakura. Before I tell them what part of your clothing has orange on it."

Sakura glared, blushing and almost choking down her drink. Kakashi, Iruka, and Kiba also drank.

"Let's see," Ino hummed. "I've never run in the fields here." All of the race participants drank, along with Kakashi and Iruka.

"I've never had an erotic dream," stated Sakura. There were a lot of blushes, Lee being the worst, as everyone except Sasuke drank.

"I've never used my talents in a fight," said Iruka.

Kiba snorted when Ino and Sakura were the only ones not drinking. "That's only 'cause you can't use your talents in a fight."

Naruto tried to think up something for Lee, since he was totally winning. "I've never met another mutant with similar talents." Kiba, Shikamaru, Neji, and Ino were the only ones who didn't drink.

"I've never watched a movie," said Sasuke.

Naruto cringed as he and everyone else drank. "I'm going to fix that," he told him furiously, "even if I have to tie you in front of the tv."

Kiba shrugged. "I've never committed a crime."

Naruto scowled at Sasuke when he and Sakura were the only ones not drinking. "With all you've done?"

"It was self defense," Sasuke said flatly.

Naruto shot a look at Neji, "Yours was self-defense, too."

"I wasn't defending myself," Neji said, his tone as flat as Sasuke's.

Huffing, Naruto refilled his cup. If self-defense didn't count, then he shouldn't have drank either. Then again, he had done a few spots of vandalism. Just because he hadn't been caught didn't mean it hadn't happened.

Sai smiled at Lee. "I've never climbed a public building."

"You know about that? It really was quite challenging," Lee sighed, taking his solitary drink.

"I've never had someone teach me about sex," Kakashi drawled.

Blushing, Iruka frowned over at him. Then he blinked. Sasuke was the only one not drinking. In fact, he was scowling suspiciously at Kakashi.

Kakashi shrugged when Iruka sent him a sharp look. It wasn't his fault Sasuke ran away every time he broached the topic of sex. As many half-sentences as he had gotten in before the brat bolted, Sasuke was bound to have put some of it together. With Naruto on the job, he would pick up the basics in no time.

Lee filled his cup with Kiba's Dr. Pepper. He was working through them all and feeling quite energetic. "I've never used a telephone."

"Ouch," Naruto winced, looking at Sasuke. "He's even worse than you." They drank along with everyone else.

Nursing another can of rootbeer, Shikamaru let his gaze roam around. This game was stupid. They were stupid. But their reactions were amusing. "I've never been attracted to Sasuke." As expected, the boy in question bristled and glared at him.

Naruto fumed as Ino and Sakura took their drinks. He was a little disturbed when Neji drank. Sai downed his entire glass and Naruto almost killed him on the spot. Then Lee sighed and took a little sip. Naruto almost choked to death as he polished off his own cup. "Lee!"

"I'm not sure," Lee sighed. "I am still uncertain of my inclination."

Kakashi laughed. Sasuke's expression was to die for. "Give it time," he told Lee. "I'm sure you'll figure it out."

"I've never bottomed," said Neji. He watched as Iruka, Sai, and Shikamaru took drinks.

Ino's eyes snapped to him. She knew why he had said that. Did she ever. She was getting him out of that room even if she had to move in with the slob herself. A low whine drew her attention to the other side of the table. Naruto looked like he was ready to cry, staring at Iruka with the most awful expression. Iruka was slumped in his seat, face red, looking two seconds shy of hiding under the table.

'Get over it,' Kyuubi snorted. 'He can do what he wants. You won't let me have him, so you can't complain if he let's someone else.'

'That's disgusting,' Naruto snapped. Then he went back to whimpering, silently this time. His gleaming crystal Iruka-sensei statue was getting darker by the second. It wasn't supposed to be like this!

"I've never fantasized about raping someone," said Ino. She sniffed when Neji took a drink. She so had him pegged. It was always the quiet pretty ones.

Kakashi and Sai each polished off a glass. Naruto drank a good dose of his own, on Kyuubi's behalf. Iruka blushed until his face was almost purple when he took his own drink. Naruto let out another whimpering wine as his formerly gleaming image of Iruka grew still more tarnished.

Sakura huffed at how this game was turning out. Leave it to Ino to get into a dick-measuring contest with a handful of guys. Only in this case, it was the perversion level they were testing. Ridiculous. "What's the score? I think after someone hits twenty they should be out. Otherwise the game might never end."

"You're kicking me out?" Kakashi pouted.

"He just hit twenty," Iruka explained to Sakura. "I'm one away. In fact, Sasuke has the lowest at the moment."

"Let me see that!" said Ino. She frowned at the board for a moment and then handed it down to Kakashi. "You keep score. If you have any nevers to use on Sasuke, give them to one of us." She looked around the table. "It's everyone against Sasuke now. He's way ahead. That's unacceptable."

Naruto snorted at Sasuke's expression. If Ino was trying to get on his good side, she was going about it all wrong. "Just don't do any kid stuff. If it's something any normal kid has done, he's never done it."

"Naruto," Sasuke said warningly.

"Sakura?" Ino said, turning expectantly.

"Um," Sakura blinked. "I've never...worn boys' underwear?" Ino clapped an approving hand on her back when all the guys took a drink, including Sasuke.

"I'm out," said Iruka. He picked up as many empty two liters as he could carry and took them into the kitchen. They had gone through quite a few of them. Once that was done, he went straight for the bathroom. Was it their age that gave them such big bladders? No, Kakashi hadn't gone yet, either. Well, he was normal even if the rest of them weren't.

"I'm next, then," Naruto said, after Iruka retreated. He sent a sly look at his boyfriend. "I've never worn sandals in the rain."

Sasuke glowered when he was the only one to drink. "I've never had a fox in my head."

"Cheap shot," Naruto muttered, taking his drink.

Kiba also took a drink. "I've talked to a couple before. It's all like telepathy, so I figure it's the same thing." He wrinkled his nose at Sasuke. "I've never kissed Naruto."

By his own admission, Kiba had never kissed anyone. Sasuke snorted as he took another drink. This teaming up on him was bullshit.

"I've never slept in the same bed with another person," said Sai.

Lee, Sasuke, and the girls all took drinks. Naruto stared at Sasuke but didn't want to ask in front of the others.

Kakashi leaned toward Lee. "Ever walked barefoot in the snow?"

Lee's eyes widened. "I've never done that. It would be very foolhardy."

"Yes," Kakashi agreed, watching Sasuke take his drink. "Very foolhardy..."

"You're out of the game," Sasuke glared at him.

"I just asked him a question," Kakashi smiled innocently.

"Ask me one," Shikamaru muttered.

Kakashi hummed thoughtfully. "Ever been carried to bed by Naruto?"

"Nope. I've never done that."

"He carried you to bed?" Kiba stared. "No wonder you went off on me," he said to Naruto. "I had it all backwards."

Sasuke whipped his head around, pinning Naruto in place. "What does he mean by that?"

"Nothing," Naruto mumbled. "Right, Kiba?"

"Er, yeah," Kiba drawled. "Nothing at all..."

"I've never worn women's underwear," said Neji.

Ino glared at him. "You're supposed to be getting Sasuke, not us." He didn't even look at her. She took her drink while plotting his painful demise.

Kakashi laughed when Sai also took a drink. "You do live on the wild side, don't you." The boy grinned and refilled his glass.

"I've never hit Naruto," said Ino. Sakura and Kiba scowled at her, but Sasuke also drank and that was what mattered.

Sakura's expression was evil when she said, "I've never imagined Sasuke naked."

"What the hell?" Naruto exploded, when Neji and Sai both drank. "You guys have spent less than a day with him!"

"As if that makes any difference," Ino scoffed as she took her own drink. She would make Sakura pay for that one later.

"I'm out," said Sai. He promptly leaned over to whisper in Kiba's ear.

Naruto scowled when he finished his drink. He was one away from being out himself. "I've never...been attracted to myself."

"You can't use that," Sasuke sneered.

"Yes, I can," Naruto grinned. "I never have." Sasuke glowered at him as he took his drink. The girls drank, too, making his grin widen. Then Lee drained his cup and his grin vanished. Wow. Lee looked really weird when he blushed. Lee was attracted to him? Lee was? Kyuubi groaned and Naruto squirmed in his chair. The idea made him uneasy. And itchy, for some reason.

"I've never been female," said Sasuke.

"Bastard," Naruto muttered. "Thanks a lot. Now I'm out."

"What does that mean?" asked Sakura. "How could you be female? Cross-dressing?"

"He wasn't dressed in anything," Sasuke informed her. He smirked. Naruto's face couldn't get any redder.

Naruto jumped up and drug his chair over behind Ino. "Now you're going down, teme."

"I'm so scared," Sasuke scoffed.

Kiba cleared his throat, a blush covering his face. "I've never...drank someone?"

Sasuke stiffened and snapped a sharp look on Sai. "What do you know?"

Sai turned his head away, calmly sipping from his cup. Kakashi sighed at him. Sai was very bad at this 'not interfering' thing.

Naruto shot out of his chair. "What the hell, Sasuke? Does that mean-"

"It's not what you're thinking," Sasuke hissed. Was everything sexual with him?

"Maybe not for you," Ino groused. Shikamaru and Neji had both taken a drink. The game was so not going the way she had planned.

"Lee is now leading," Kakashi told them, turning the board. "With Shikamaru close behind."

"I get to assign penalties if I win?" asked Lee. His eyes gleamed as much as his pearly whites. "I've never cooked a meal for others."

Ino groaned. "You knocked me out! You're supposed to be on my side!"

Shikamaru was the only one who didn't have to drink. "I've never washed a dish," he admitted.

"Nice work," said Kakashi. "You just knocked out Neji, Sakura, and Sasuke. It's between you, Lee, and Kiba now."

"It's not supposed to be like that," Ino complained.

Sakura rolled her eyes at the whining. Naruto sighed at not getting a chance to give any tips. He sullenly drug his chair back over to Sasuke.

"Guess it's my turn, then," said Kiba. "I've never obeyed Ino." He shook his head sadly when Lee drank.

"I've never combined with a dog," Lee said back, "though it does look quite fun."

"Yeah, it is," Kiba admitted, taking his own drink.

"I've never gone to a female for advice," said Shikamaru.

"As if being a misogynistic pig is something to brag about," Ino muttered as Lee took another drink.

Kiba thought for a moment. "I've never thrown up." The other two drank.

"What, never?" Naruto asked in surprise.

"Iron stomach," Kiba smirked. "Comes in handy when you're roughing it."

"I've never slept through an entire day," said Lee.

"Nice one," Shikamaru acknowledged. He took his last drink. "I've never spoken to that dark-haired girl at the picnic."

"Because you're antisocial," Ino scoffed.

"It doesn't matter," Shikamaru smirked. "They're both out. I win. As usual."

"He's right," said Kakashi. He slid the board where they could all see. "So he's assigning the penalties. What do you have in mind? No, wait, let me fetch Iruka first."

Once Iruka had rejoined them, Shikamaru leaned back in his chair. He did Ino first, since he had the perfect punishment for her. She was practically begging for it. He pointed at the two liter closest to her, a half-filled bottle of Big Red. "Drink that. Out of the jug. All of it, or you'll have to put your name on it before it goes back in the fridge."

"What?" Ino exclaimed. "No! You can't make me do that!"

"Sure I can."

"It's disgusting!" Ino wailed. "I would never do that!"

"If you renege now, no one will ever play a game with you again," he pointed out.

"I don't care!"

Sakura patted a hand on her back. "Just think of it as a big twenty ounce. No one else drank out of it. No one is going to. It's all yours, so there's no problem."

"But it's gross," Ino whimpered.

"Come on," Sakura scoffed. "Are you going to let him show you up?"

Ino stiffened, glaring viciously at Shikamaru. "I hate you."

"I noticed," said Shikamaru. "Now drink up. You'll like it."

If only looks could kill. Ino snatched the two liter, took a deep breath, and started chugging.

"Whoa!" Kiba gaped. Ino barely took a breath before going right back at it. He had seen guys do that, but...damn.

Ino slammed the empty jug down. Her throat was on fire. Of all the soft drinks here, he just had to pick Big Red. She flashed a bleary-eyed yet challenging look at Shikamaru.

"Well done," Shikamaru commented. He leaned forward to catch Sakura's eye. "Kiss someone."

"What?" Sakura blurted.

"You've never kissed, right? Plenty of guys here. Pick one and kiss him." He looked around the table, not discounting Kakashi and the queasy-looking Iruka. "Whoever she picks has to kiss back. Consider it your penalty."

"No way!" Naruto protested. "She'll pick Sasuke. You can't make him kiss her."

"Sure I can."

"Try it," said Sasuke.

Shikamaru sighed. "All I have to do is use my shadows on you." He shrugged at Sakura. "Then it'll be like you're kissing me. But if that's how it has to be, that's how it has to be."

Sakura blushed furiously, her eyes flying over all the uncomfortable and wary faces.

Sai grinned when she came to him. "I'll kiss you," he said cheerfully.

"No you won't!" Naruto snapped. "You're not laying one finger on her!"

"Oh," Sai blinked. "You want to kiss her instead?"

Naruto blushed and sunk back into his chair. "I'm not saying that..."

"I would be honored to share your first kiss," Lee spoke up. "I have never kissed, either."

Sakura bit her lip. Lee was so sincere and sweet and totally not her type. His eyebrows! But compared to the others... If she picked Sasuke, he would never forgive her. If she picked Naruto, Sasuke would never forgive her. Sai gave her the creeps, and the adults were out of the question. That only left Kiba or Lee. Or Neji...? He was almost better looking than Sasuke, and completely gay by the sound of things. Her shoulders slumped. Inside, she railed, cursing the inbred cretins who had mated and produced a twisted creature like Shikamaru. "Lee-kun?"

"I'm honored," Lee beamed.

Sakura squirmed as he came over to her. "Do we have to in front of everyone?"

"No," Shikamaru waved. "If he says you did, I'll believe him."

At least he wasn't a complete monster. She caught Lee's hand and tugged him out of the room.

Nice, Shikamaru noted. Now Lee couldn't say he had never held hands with anyone, either. Shikamaru pointed at Naruto and then at Kiba. "Kiss each other. With tongue."

"Oh, hell no!" Kiba roared. "I'm not kissing a guy!"

"Do it," said Shikamaru, "or I'll make you french your dog."

"She's right," Kiba exclaimed, pointing wildly at Ino. "You are sick!"

"Suck it up," Shikamaru muttered. Every one of them was a drama queen. "Pretend he's a girl or something. If you get that defensive about kissing a guy, people are going to think you're in denial."

"I'm not in denial! I just ain't interested in kissing a guy!"

"I don't want to kiss you, either," Naruto grimaced. For some reason, Kiba's horror was kinda insulting.

"Denial," sighed Shikamaru.

"I am not!" cried Kiba.

"Prove it." He wasn't impressed by the way Kiba bristled at him. He raised his eyes and waved a hand at Sai. "Unless you'd rather kiss him."

Kiba sent one look at the grinning Sai and lurched out of his chair. "Screw that." He stalked over to Naruto and stared down at him with an expression of pure revulsion. "Get up."

"No," Naruto cringed. "I don't wanna kiss you."

"Good!" Kiba snapped. "I'd be freaked as hell if you did."

Naruto stood and faced Kiba. His expression was a picture of wary disgust. They inched closer, staring, both trembling on the verge of recoiling to opposite sides of the room.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. He sent a shadow under the table, tipping Kiba forward. The kiss lasted all of five seconds and was immediately followed by gags and dry heaves. There must have been tongue because Kiba was scrubbing the back of one hand over his. Naruto grabbed his glass off the table and spit furiously into it. Ino promptly gagged and bolted from the room. Nice.

"Well done," Shikamaru said dryly. He looked at Sai. "You kiss him," and he pointed at Sasuke.

"I really shouldn't," Sai admitted. "He may attack me."

"He won't because I'm not making him kiss you back."

Sasuke wondered what made him so confident about that. Naruto was sputtering beside him. He sent him a bland look. "I don't care."

"I do!" Naruto scowled. Kyuubi sure as hell did. Sai stood and approached them. Naruto's eyes were caught on his exposed stomach. All he could think about was that guy's hands on Sasuke, his mouth on Sasuke, his tongue-

Naruto's eyes flashed red and he surged out of the chair. Except he didn't. He didn't move a muscle. Couldn't. His eyes flew to the side to find Shikamaru giving him a bored stare.

"Don't make a fuss," said Shikamaru.

Naruto growled at him. Then his attention snapped back to Sasuke. The bastard was kissing him. One hand on the side of his face, the other on his shoulder. Touching him. And Sasuke was letting him.

It really was all the same, Sasuke decided. He felt nothing but annoyed disgust, contempt, disinterest. The kiss wasn't as forceful as the stolen ones he had experienced over the years, but in the end it was no different. The way Sai attempted to con a response reminded him of Naruto, but he wasn't Naruto. What was it about Naruto that got to him? He didn't spare Sai so much as a glance when he pulled back. His eyes turned to the furious blonde beside him, and then down to the shadow holding Naruto immobile. He looked over at Shikamaru. "Let him go."

"I don't think so. He'll attack someone." Shikamaru admitted, "Possibly me."

"No, he won't," said Sasuke. "Just give me a ten second head start." He leaned close to Naruto and dropped his voice. "Outside. Now. Be quick about it or you'll never catch me." He rose and went out the back door.

The second Shikamaru released his shadow, Naruto tore after Sasuke, slamming the door behind him. Shikamaru winced. If he had known Naruto would take it that badly, he would have made that his penalty instead of using him for Kiba's. Naruto was seriously possessive. He yawned and looked around at the others. "You two can go now," he waved at Kiba and Sai. They didn't waste any time doing just that. "Now, then." Iruka looked highly disturbed. Definitely uptight. Kakashi looked amused. When did he not? Shikamaru sniffed at Kakashi. "You can assign Iruka's penalty."

"What?" Iruka blurted.

"He's done me a fair turn," Shikamaru shrugged. "I owe him one." He rose from his seat and tapped Neji's shoulder. "You come with me."

Iruka gaped when Neji followed him out of the room. That was- That wasn't- That-

"Well," Kakashi drawled. "Looks like our kids aren't the only ones having some fun around here." Iruka sputtered. "Relax. Here, I'll help you clean up. We can play the penalty game some other time."

"They-" Iruka's jaw and throat worked frantically, but nothing more came out.

"They may be," Kakashi shrugged. "And they may not. Do you really want to know?"

Iruka snapped his mouth closed. He began cleaning up the mess. He didn't want to know. Tenka was right. Having kids in his home get more action than him was absolutely humiliating. And wrong. He snapped a smoldering look on Kakashi. How had Kakashi gone from sneaking into his bed to ignoring his very existence? Iruka had sex appeal, damn it. The least Kakashi could do was take advantage of that penalty Shikamaru had handed him.

"By the way," said Kakashi. "What was that 'INT' thing Sai mentioned?"

Iruka huffed moodily. On second thought, maybe he didn't have sex appeal. It had been a few years since he had used it. If Kakashi wanted to talk about that when they were alone together, he was clearly losing his charm. "It's a personality type. Scientists tend to have it. With a sociopath, it means he doesn't just not feel remorse, he's incapable of it, or most other normal emotions. He's also horribly conceited. Any flaws in the project is due to a flaw in those around him, never a shortcoming of his own. One doesn't relate to others because he can't empathize with them, too stuck in his own head. When working in a group, he's like a director, but if the actors can't perform up to his standards, he'll get out there and do it himself. What it means," and he frowned, "is that you don't want him on the big screen. With small projects the damage is localized. Once he moves onto bigger things, there's no telling how much damage he could do."

"Yeah," Kakashi sighed. "That's what I thought."

.-.

Naruto was stronger when he was furious. Everything increased, physical strength, energy, speed. Even his instincts sharpened. His instincts had to be sharp because his rational thought dropped to nothing. He was more fox than bull now, better at everything, a quicker response time. But his inability to think clearly was glaringly obvious. His attempts to shield, to limit waste when healing, were stunted, half-hearted at best. In an enraged state, Sasuke couldn't decide who was in more danger, Naruto or himself.

He adopted Kakashi's style to deal with him, minus the taunts. He wouldn't bother talking to Naruto when he was like this, and he wasn't interested in getting him even more riled up. He fought silently, defensively, allowing enough blows to connect to let Naruto vent without getting him more frustrated, but not staying close enough to risk any actual damage to either of them. He wasn't as willing as Kakashi to offer himself up as a punching bag. He couldn't let himself be weakened right now. So he danced, evaded, waiting and watching for Naruto to let up. When he felt he had used as much energy as he dared with Itachi looming overhead, he placed the shield around himself. He sat down on the grass, dropping his chin to his folded hands, and watched Naruto rage himself back to sanity.

"What do you think I am?" he asked, when Naruto was finally reduced to panting and growling on the other side of the barrier.

"A bastard!" Naruto spat. "A cheating bastard!"

Sasuke snorted. "What does that make you?"

"That doesn't count! I didn't want to do that - Kiba didn't even want to do that. You didn't care about doing it!"

"I didn't do anything."

"Exactly! You just sat there and let him! How could you do that?"

Sasuke's eyes dropped to the blood trickling from Naruto's clenched fists. His claws were too long to be clenching his fists like that. Odd that his eyes went red with anger even though Naruto was clearly still in charge. "You're hurting yourself."

"I want to hurt you!"

His gaze flicked up. "Will it make you feel better?" He wasn't surprised when Naruto looked away. It wouldn't. Maybe for a few minutes, but then he would regret it. Frankly, Sasuke didn't know how to deal with a guilty Naruto. "You don't own me. You're not responsible for what happens to me or anything I do. I may not like seeing you kiss someone else, but I have no say in it. If seeing it makes me angry, that's too damn bad." And seeing Kiba's mouth on Naruto had certainly made him angry. "What you do is up to you. How I respond is up to me." His response was to make sure Naruto's mouth didn't come anywhere near him after where it had just been. He was sure Naruto felt the same way about him. "Getting angry and jealous is a waste of time. Will you do it again? Of course. You played and you lost. That was the penalty. You wouldn't back down from it any more than I would."

"You wouldn't have kissed Sakura..."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "I wouldn't have kissed anyone. I wouldn't know how to do that with someone I'm not attracted to. It's not something I could fake. Even if he had made me do it using his shadows, it would have been him doing it, not me." He wouldn't have done that to her, anyway, if he had a choice. Being kissed by someone who didn't want to had to be as degrading and pointless as kissing someone who didn't want it. "Why did he assign kissing penalties at all?"

Naruto was taken back by the question. His hands uncurled. "Lee, Kiba, and Sakura were the only ones who had never kissed anyone. That could be why for them. It's not as random as that thing he made Ino do." His face abruptly clouded again. "But why the hell did he have Sai kiss you? That bastard sure didn't take it like a punishment."

"Why kissing?" Sasuke pushed. "Those three didn't kiss people they were attracted to, so what was the point? Just to have done it?"

"I guess," Naruto shrugged. "That's how these games always turn out. Truth or Dare, you dare people to kiss. Spin the bottle, Seven Minutes in Heaven. All the drinking games are basically kissing games."

"And that's normal."

Naruto stared down at him, coming as close to the energy shield as he could without touching it. "You are totally alienated from your peer group." Sasuke quirked an eyebrow at him. "It's something Lee said. You make this stuff sound weird when to me it's just the way things are. And still, I'm the one who freaked and you just shrugged it off like it's nothing." He took a deep breath and curled his hands again, though not as tightly this time. "I don't ever want to see that again. I won't play games like that anymore, either. Okay?"

"No," Sasuke shook his head. "I only played because you asked me to. I'm not interested in things like that, anyway." Nothing but embarrassment and annoyance. And jealousy. "It doesn't matter if you play. They're your friends."

"It does. You didn't like me doing it any more than I liked you doing it. Besides, I don't want to be stuck kissing people I don't like. It's..."

"Disgusting. Pointless."

"Yeah." Naruto scuffed a foot in the grass. "Will you come out of there now?"

"Do you still want to hurt me?"

Naruto flinched, ducking his head. "I didn't really want to. I was just so...angry. Jealous." Possessive.

"Yeah. I know." With a little concentration, the shield fizzled out. Naruto was slow to approach him. Sasuke was reminded of the way he had sat on the floor of his room. Naruto really did think too highly of himself if he believed he could have hurt him. Sasuke had used the shield to keep from wasting energy. He could have fended him off without it, or simply gone back to the house. So much for not having to deal with a guilty Naruto tonight.

Naruto sat down in front of Sasuke, close enough that their knees touched. "Um. What was that thing about drinking someone?"

Revulsion twisted Sasuke's face. "I would never have phrased it that way. It was a mutant I fought. It's in my notebook if you want to read about it. Water talents. I don't have anything to counter liquids. The chidori might have helped against him, but I didn't have it back then. He could liquify himself, turn into the same water he controlled. He surrounded me and I drowned." His stomach churned. He didn't know which had hit him harder, the betrayal or dying that way. "The water in my lungs was part of him. I don't know how he extracted it without killing me."

"Your brother doesn't have something like that, does he?" Naruto asked worriedly.

Suigetsu's talent unnerved Naruto where nothing he had told him about Itachi had. Sasuke had to marvel at that. "I doubt it. What's the long-haired guy's story?"

"Neji?"

Naruto's hesitation was blatant. Sasuke gave him a pointed stare. "Do you honestly think I'm going to repeat anything you tell me to the others?"

"No," sighed Naruto. "You're probably the only one who wouldn't spread it around. He's Hinata's cousin. Their dads were twins, one of those rich family things where her dad was the heir and his was the poor relation. Only it didn't stay that way. By the time Neji's dad had his accident, he had a lot more money. He left a bunch of it to Hinata for when she's old enough, seventeen or eighteen, I'm not sure. Her dad was always an asshole, but he got a lot worse when Neji moved in with them. He couldn't touch Neji, so he took it out on Hinata."

"Neji killed him?"

Naruto shrugged, scowling at his lap. "Hinata says he didn't mean to. It was the first time he had ever used his talent. He didn't know he was a mutant before that. But..." He made a disgusted face. "I'd have gone off on the bastard on purpose if I'd had a chance to. I bet Neji would have done it a lot sooner if he had known he could."

"What is his talent?"

"I'm not sure. I only know what she told me about it. Something about his eyes going white. He hit him, but it wasn't very hard. I mean, it didn't leave any marks. But it caused a lot of internal damage. That's why they sent him away for so long, the whole cause of death thing. Hinata testified about all of it, so even if it had been on purpose it was totally self defense. It's not like they could have charged him for it. But they sure tried to. Iruka-sensei has been trying to get him since we moved here and heard about it. I guess Neji would rather not be living in the same place as Hinata. He doesn't want anything to do with her. It's such bullshit. None of it's her fault."

"You think he blames her?" asked Sasuke.

"Why else wouldn't he want to see her? They were really close when they were little."

Sasuke could think of plenty of reasons that had nothing to do with blaming her. If anything, Neji probably blamed himself for not protecting her sooner, better, before she turned into the beaten-down person she was now. "Their fathers were twins?" That certainly explained the resemblance. If her hair were longer, he would have known the moment he saw Neji.

"Identical twins. But her dad came out first, so he was the eldest."

"What about their mothers?"

Naruto winced. "Cousins. But it wasn't all weird and gross like it sounds," he said quickly. "It's an old fashioned family, so that's just how they did things." If Sasuke said one word about inbreeding, Naruto would be forced to deck him.

Now Sasuke wished he had taken a look at Hinata with the sharingan. Identical twin fathers, closely related mothers, and they looked like siblings. "Are you sure she's not a mutant?"

"Yeah," Naruto frowned. "Kyuubi would have noticed if she was a mutant."

"Even if her talents haven't come out yet?"

"She's fifteen. Mutants get their talents at puberty." Iruka had told him that, so he had it on good authority. "She would have known by twelve or thirteen."

"Not everyone matures at the same age, especially girls." The chapter on female reproduction had made that graphically clear. He hadn't looked at Hinata very closely, not getting past her lowered eyes and skittish behavior. But she was small, nothing in the way of breasts or curves. She looked more like a thin boy than the rounded female Naruto had turned his clone into. "I wouldn't rule it out."

"Oh, she'd love that. I wonder what kind of talents she'd have." Though, considering how much trouble she already had dealing with other people, adding 'mutant' to her list of problems probably wouldn't help anything. "I really don't think she is, though." Kyuubi definitely didn't. In fact, Kyuubi found the very idea insulting, as if she wasn't good enough to join Kyuubi's club. Naruto scoffed at his fox, 'You're such a snob, Kyuubi.'

"If she was a mutant," said Sasuke, "she would probably have the same talents as Neji, passed from the identical fathers. If he got it from his mother, she wouldn't have anything." Then again, he and Itachi had the same parents and he hadn't gotten anything from them. "It was just a thought. I've never heard of sibling mutants, twins or otherwise."

"What if the parents were both mutants?"

"I've never heard of that, either."

"Weird," Naruto muttered. "Iruka-sensei says the oldest of the 'first generation' would be around forty now. Some of them must have gotten together and made kids who would be teenagers by now."

"I've never met a mutant over thirty," said Sasuke. And he had done his part to make sure the mutants he had met never lived to reach that age. Unless he counted Orochimaru. If he were Pakkun's body-hopper, then there was no telling how old he really was.

"What about Kakashi?"

"He's twenty-eight at the most. His hair isn't any more natural than Sakura's. It's something to do with his talents."

"Sakura's hair isn't natural?" Naruto demanded. "But! I thought that's how she got her name. How do you know?"

"She told me."

Naruto's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "When?"

"When we were making lunch. Her hair changed the first time she used her talents. I don't see why. Her talents have nothing to do with her appearance. Her hair was a dark blonde before that."

Sakura with sandy blonde hair and green eyes. Even Kyuubi had to admit it made an appealing image. But Naruto liked her hair just the way it was. "I'm surprised you talked to her," he admitted.

Sasuke scoffed. "She's smart." And not nearly as annoying without Ino around. She had made no attempt to touch him the entire time they were in the kitchen together. She also had the only healing-related talent he had ever encountered that he could actually copy. He hadn't, of course. She couldn't control it when it was natural to her, so there was little chance of him fairing any better. At least for now. He had passed Iruka's primers on to her. If studying did make a difference, he would reconsider later. He had a quicker way of retaining information than she did, if that was all it took to use the talent properly.

Naruto didn't know how to feel about Sasuke talking to Sakura. Making friends with her? Did someone like Sasuke even make friends? He had said Sasuke might be making friends when he had talked to Kyuubi about Shikamaru, but that was mostly just to calm the fox down. The fact was, he had gotten used to Sasuke not talking to, or even showing interest in, anyone but him. Well, and Iruka and Kakashi, but that was out of necessity. Naruto was the only one Sasuke really talked to and that was the way he liked it. Did that make him stupidly possessive? Was he going to start chasing off anyone who talked to Sasuke the way Shikamaru had implied? He wasn't Kyuubi. It wasn't like he was going to consider everyone who looked at Sasuke a threat. Though having so many of them say they were attracted to his boyfriend did make him a little twitchy about having them so close by. At least Shikamaru wasn't. And Kiba, not that Sasuke was likely to make friends with him. Or Lee.

Naruto grimaced suddenly. "I can't believe Lee is attracted to me."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at the random comment. "Lee's energy was all over you during that fight. I can't believe you didn't feel it. Kiba kissing you was nothing compared to that."

"What?" Naruto yelped. "What do you mean?"

He wrinkled his nose. "Have you ever seen a dog hump somebody's leg? That's exactly what his energy was trying to do to you. And neither of you noticed."

"Then...he didn't..."

"He had no idea," Sasuke muttered. He had known that from the start. Knowing it wasn't intentional hadn't helped. Lee might as well have been molesting Naruto himself. Even if Lee's energy had been doing that to someone else, he couldn't have simply stood there and watched it happen. He still shouldn't have hit Lee so hard. The fact that Naruto liked Lee, trusted him, had made it even worse. He regretted losing his temper, but if it kept that from happening again, it was worth it.

"So that's why he said he wasn't sure who he was attracted to," said Naruto. The idea was disturbing. He didn't think of Lee that way at all. But if Lee hadn't realized his energy was doing that, then he probably didn't think of him like that, either. "Does energy do that? Just go after someone, even if you don't like them personally?"

"I've never seen it happen before. I've never seen energy like his before. Either it's huge or it's barely connected to him. It reacted with Kiba, too, when he used his talents to combine with that dog. It reached out, but it didn't molest him. It was more like it...wanted to get to know his energy better." He made a face, trying to think of a good comparison. "Like sniffing a strange dog. Like it was...curious. Friendly. I don't know. It reacted that way to me, too, the first time I saw him. But with you it went wild. You used a lot more energy than Kiba did. What were you doing to need so much?"

"Huh?" Naruto blinked. "I was just running. With Kyuubi." He scratched his cheek, feeling a little embarrassed now. "When we run like that, it's like we're really one person. It's not me and him, it's just us. Kinda like Kiba and Akamaru, I guess. It's one of the only times when we're totally on the same wave-length."

"The way your eyes go red when you're angry." Naruto's expression was confused, but it didn't matter. That explained a lot, such as why Naruto's energy had flared, seeming to double the second he had crouched down. That was why Naruto was so much stronger when he was angry. The two were working as one. "You should run like that more often. It shouldn't take blind rage to make the two of you work in unison. You can't take advantage of it if you're too angry to think clearly."

"But if I used a lot of energy, then..."

"You weren't wasting it. You were drawing it out and compressing it, making it there, available. You have more energy than Kakashi when you do that." Naruto didn't seem to understand the compliment he was giving him. Since learning to read energy signatures, he had only met one mutant with more energy than Kakashi, that blonde in Russia. Even that flying rogue hadn't had any more energy than Sasuke himself. Lee was probably right about Naruto's potential. The fact that Naruto wasn't tapping it, let alone harnessing it, was horribly frustrating.

"Come on," said Sasuke. "Let's run for a while before we go back to the house."

"What? Like a race?"

"No. Even with the energy boosting your speed, you still couldn't catch me if I ran all out." He rolled his eyes when Naruto immediately took insult at that. All the reinforcement in the world wouldn't let him match Naruto's potential strength, so why did Naruto get so outraged at being slower? It was just a difference in talents. Lee was faster than him when it came to pure speed. Sasuke would have won the race by lightening himself and reinforcing his feet, but in a distance race he would never have had the stamina to maintain that. That was just the way things were. Getting angry about it wouldn't change anything. "You'll never be the best at everything, Naruto. Work on what you are good at. That'll make up for the rest."

Naruto wasn't buying that. He was absolutely convinced he could do anything as well as if not better than Sasuke. At least as far as physical things like speed and strength were concerned. Kyuubi was more realistic, but he approved of Naruto's stubbornness. That 'I can do anything I set my mind to' attitude of his was one of his best traits. Even if it did get him into trouble.

'Have him chase us,' said Kyuubi. 'He doesn't get to do that often enough.'

'At all, you mean,' Naruto scoffed. It was more awkward running on all fours when it was just him and Sasuke. But Sasuke was all about energy, so they would give him plenty to look at. They had more than Kakashi, huh? And Kakashi had more than Sasuke. 'The only thing he's got that we don't is experience.'

'Exactly,' said Kyuubi. He didn't mention that experience made all the difference. Naruto knew that as well as he did, he was just being boastful and optimistic. The least Kyuubi could do was play along. Besides, it was amusing how eager Sasuke was to strengthen Naruto up. They were equally protective. Naruto was just more honest and open about it.

.-.

An interesting scene greeted Iruka when he swung by the livingroom. Despite their sugary caffeine buzzes, he wasn't going to have the kids keeping him up all night. Or destroying the house. He stepped into the doorway, intending to give them an hour more before quiet time. Instead, he paused and stared. Ino was on the couch, Kiba on one of the love seats, Sakura standing in the middle of the room, and Lee down on one knee before her.

"I vow to protect you with my very life," Lee declaired. "Unhappiness shall never cloud your emerald eyes or turn your fair lips."

Kiba muffled laughter into his hand, Ino groaned, and Sakura blushed darker than her hair. Iruka blinked.

"It's...awfully melodramatic," Sakura said weakly.

"Corny as hell is what it is," laughed Kiba.

"Truer words have never been spoken," Lee insisted earnestly. He squeezed Sakura's hand. "I would protect my friends with my life. Naturally I would do no less for my soulmate."

Ino sighed. "Nix the 'fair lips' part. You wouldn't say that to a guy."

"It's a little embarrassing for a girl, too," Sakura admitted. "And you can't really promise someone they'll never be unhappy."

"I would do everything in my power to prevent it," said Lee.

"Then use that," said Ino. "And do it standing up. You can't propose marriage to a guy. Even if it's a girl, you'll need a ring first."

Lee looked from Sakura to the hand he was holding. "No," he said quietly. "Kneeling is a display of my utter devotion. With or without marriage, my humble devotion would remain unwavering."

Sakura sighed, flashing a pleading look at Ino. "It is romantic, in an embarrassing, corny, way."

"I know," Ino huffed. "But he's going to get decked if he tries that on the wrong guy. Or girl, for that matter."

"He'll get his ass kicked regardless," said Kiba. "Assuming the guy can stop laughing long enough to do it."

"What are you all doing?" Iruka asked, having finally found his voice. Sakura jumped, blushing scarlet and tugging her hand free.

"Practicing," Lee said with a bright smile.

"For who...?"

"My soulmate!"

Iruka tried to smile and failed. "Your soulmate being...?"

"He doesn't know yet," said Ino. "Since he can't have Naruto, he's determined not to let his next 'perfect match' get away. It's sweet." And her eyes narrowed, daring Iruka to say otherwise.

"I see." Iruka ran a hand over the back of his neck and looked at Lee, who had finally gotten to his feet. "You know, I think declarations of love are better when they're," only in Disney movies, "...spontaneous. You won't know what it is you love about the person until you meet them. Practicing is..." He suddenly found it very difficult to keep a straight face. "It's like practicing pick up lines. Those are some hot pants, I'd love to get in them."

Kiba gaped for a second and then snorted. "No melodrama there."

Ino snorted as well. "No one would use that as a pick up line."

"It's quite popular around here," Iruka admitted. "The point is, it sounds shallow, rehearsed. Just say whatever comes to mind." And if the person couldn't handle the unique things that came to Lee's mind, then they weren't a very good match, anyway. If that mentor of his had married, there had to be someone out there for Lee. "What's the rush, anyway?"

"We kissed," Sakura muttered, staring at her feet. Ino would never let her live that down. Never.

"I now realize what a mistake that was," Lee said solemnly. "We have deprived our future partners of that honor. The shame-"

"Oh, come on," Kiba muttered, disgusted. "It ain't that big a deal."

Ino snapped him a challenging look. "How are you going to feel ten years from now when you look back on your first kiss? With Naruto." Kiba's face turned an interesting orange. "Exactly."

"No more kissing games?" ventured Iruka. He didn't bother to hide his relief.

"It wasn't supposed to be one this time," said Ino.

"Yeah, right," scoffed Sakura. "You were so going to molest Sasuke if you had won."

"Well, at least I wouldn't have made Naruto kiss Kiba. That was just sick!"

"Tell me about it," Kiba put in.

"Well," said Iruka. He waited till he had their attention. "I want you all in bed within the hour. Or at least very quietly watching tv down here. If you feel the need to bounce and scream, please take it into the fields."

"Like we'd do that with those two out there pounding on each other again," said Kiba.

Iruka would rather not have been reminded. He was about to go when he realized Kiba was sitting alone. Now that he thought about it, he hadn't seen the dog since they had come back from the vet. "Where's Akamaru?"

"Um." Kiba looked away sheepishly. "He needed some private time. He's around town somewhere."

Iruka groaned. Threaten to neuter him and he took off to sow his oats. He should have seen that coming. "If any of my neighbors turn up with halfbreed pups, you're finding homes for them."

"Sure," Kiba said quickly.

This evening had proved one thing, Iruka decided, as he headed for bed. Sex was on the minds of everyone in his house and he wasn't getting any. This had to be payback for playing so hard to get. Karma sucked.

.-.

Sasuke had barely dozed off when Naruto showed up. As usual. He greeted him with equal parts frustration and annoyance. "You can't be doing this. Not now. Itachi is coming any day now. He could already be here."

"He's not," Naruto said quickly.

"You can't know that."

"I do. Kyuubi is keeping track of how many mutants are in town. He'll know if any leave, or if new ones show up. He'd know the second they get as close as Sisco."

Sasuke was struck dumb. Wary. That changed everything. He had to find a way to keep that fox occupied. "He can sense that far away?"

"And further." Naruto wasn't going to mention the three distant ones. They had been stationary the entire time. Whoever they were, they weren't coming any closer. For all he knew, they lived in the next town over. Kyuubi had never tried sensing other mutants, certainly not that far away. Those three might have been living there since before they had even moved to Lyberday. If not, he would know the second they did start approaching. "So it's okay."

"I still need sleep," Sasuke said testily.

Naruto shifted, rubbing his socked toes on the floor, bashfully. "I didn't actually come for that." Though he wouldn't have passed up a chance to start some of 'that' if he saw an opening. "I've been having bad dreams. So I was wondering if I could, um, sleep with you."

If the way Naruto's voice trickled off hadn't proven his embarrassment, the blush certainly did. It was almost enough to make Sasuke feel guilty. Almost. "I can't share a bed with you." Sure enough, Naruto flinched. He ground his teeth. "It's not personal. I can't sleep with someone else."

"But you have," Naruto blurted. "You drank during the game, so..."

"That's why I can't," Sasuke said sharply. "The last time I did, he attacked me in my sleep. On Itachi's orders." Even if he trusted Naruto's fox not to try anything, which he didn't, he wouldn't be able to keep from lashing out the second Naruto so much as rolled over. Assuming he could fall asleep at all with someone that close to him.

"Was he a friend?" asked Naruto.

"I thought so," Sasuke muttered. He had been so stupid back then. "He's the one with water talents. I told you how that turned out. He's also the one who called to tell me about Kabuto."

"So he's one of them now."

"He was under Itachi's thumb all along. It was just a ploy to make me trust him so he could stab me in the back. I was naive enough to fall for it."

"You know I wouldn't do that," said Naruto. "I've never even met your brother."

"It doesn't matter." Sasuke looked him over. Rumpled, tired, awkward. "What have you been dreaming about?" Naruto stared determinedly at his feet. He sighed. "Take the bed."

"What? Really?" Naruto's head snapped up. He barely had a chance to get excited before it dimmed. Sasuke crossed to the closet and pulled out a jacket, slinging it over his shoulders. "What are you doing? Where are you going?"

"No where." He went to the corner by the window, at the foot of the bed. He sat down, making himself comfortable. Naruto remained frozen with a stricken expression on his face. Sasuke waved at the bed. "Go ahead."

"I'm not kicking you out of your own bed," Naruto blurted. He couldn't believe the way this was going. It had been a stupid idea to start with. Just because Sasuke played a leading role in his nightmares didn't mean he wanted to punish him for it. Sasuke probably thought he was acting like a toddler. He could damn well sleep by himself. "Nevermind. This was a stupid idea, anyway."

"I don't mind." He shrugged when Naruto looked at him. "I can't share it with you, so just take it." What else could he offer? Hugs and reassurances? Kisses? Well, he could offer kisses, but he wasn't going to unless Naruto forced him to. He wanted to get to sleep some time tonight. He sighed again, letting his head drop. "Don't be stubborn, Naruto. Just lay down and go to sleep."

Naruto got in the bed. It was still warm. He would much rather have been down on the chilly floor next to Sasuke, though. This had been such a bad idea. He had mostly just wanted to make sure Sasuke was okay. He didn't like leaving him alone at night because if his brother did slip in past Kyuubi's senses, then night was when he would probably go after Sasuke. When he was alone. The only time he was alone. Naruto was making sure of that. He curled under the covers and listened hard, trying to hear Sasuke's breathing in the room. Barely audible, but there. That was enough to keep the nightmares away. His at least. Kyuubi wouldn't talk about his dreams, so he couldn't help with that.

Hours later, Sasuke was wakened by motion. A brush against the hair next to his face. There was a pale arm reaching out from behind the curtains. He was on the other side of the room in a heartbeat, back to the corner, sharingan locked on the window. No arm. No motion. Just the jacket that had fallen to the floor when he bolted. Movement wrenched his gaze to the bed. Naruto. Sitting up groggily, staring over at him.

"Sasuke...?"

At the sound of his voice, something pale shifted in the shadows under the bed. Sasuke's eyes snapped down, trying and failing to see through the darkness. He could see in the dark. Why couldn't he see what was under there? Naruto started to swing his legs over the edge of the bed. Sasuke flinched. "Don't move! Something's under the bed."

Naruto froze, frightened by the visible fear on Sasuke's face. 'Kyuubi?'

'I don't sense or smell anything,' Kyuubi said quickly. He had only been in a light doze. 'The number of mutants hasn't changed. They're all where they usually are.'

"Are you sure it wasn't a dream?" Naruto asked, whispering. If there was something under the bed, then whispering probably wouldn't help. But Sasuke looked like he would jump out of his skin if he spoke any louder.

"No," said Sasuke. He wasn't sure at all. He wasn't even sure he was awake now. Why couldn't he see what was under there? Was it clinging to the bottom of the mattress, hiding out of sight? He took a slow step toward the bed. Gray over black. A pale flash flying through the air. His hands flew up, catching it a foot from his face. It twisted around his right arm and chomped down on his left. He tore it apart before he even realized what it was.

"Sasuke!" Naruto rushed to him, stopping short at the last second. The head of the thing was still attached to Sasuke's arm, the rest lay in bloody white tatters at his feet. The head looked like some sort of big flat snake, but the body had tiny lizard-like legs. The legs continued to kick feebly as the blood blackened on the floor. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you! Kyuubi didn't sense anything, so I thought-" He closed his mouth. Babbling wasn't helping. Blood was dripping from Sasuke's arm and he was just standing there, staring at the thing. Sasuke looked like he was in shock. "Sasuke? Hey! Let me get it off you, okay?"

"Don't touch the teeth." Sasuke stood motionless, watching as Naruto gripped the snout and chin and pried it loose. The jaws had snapped closed again before it even hit the floor. It rocked for a moment and then snapped at his foot. He jumped back, dragging Naruto along with him.

"What is it?" Naruto demanded. "What's wrong? It's dead, right? Sasu-"

Sasuke shoved him into the corner by the closet. There was a pale hand playing with the bottom of the curtains. Except there couldn't be because the window was closed. His eyes fell. The creature's head was just where Naruto had dropped it, as if it had never snapped at him. He took a slow, deep, breath. "Naruto. Is the window closed?"

Naruto looked over his shoulder and cringed. A light breeze was wafting through the curtains. How could someone have opened the window without one of them hearing it? "It's open. That...thing...must have climbed up the side of the house and-"

"Naruto," Sasuke said sharply. He turned to him. "What color are my eyes?"

"Black...?"

"I have to get out of here."

"What are you talking about?" asked Naruto. "We've gotta take care of your arm." He reached out and was shocked when Sasuke skitted away from him. "Sasuke?"

"Stay back," Sasuke hissed. "I'm hallucinating. I'm-" His throat closed up. Itachi was standing beside the window. It wasn't real. Naruto wasn't reacting, so it couldn't be real. It looked real.

Naruto followed his gaze to the window. "I'll close it," he said quickly. "So no more of those things get in."

Sasuke caught the back of his shirt before he'd taken more than two steps. "Don't. There may be more under the bed."

"Then after I shut the window, I'll-" He was swung back into the corner so hard he winced at the impact. "Shit! That hurt, Sasuke!"

"Stay away from the window." Itachi was shaking his head at him. Hallucination or not, that venomous thing must have come in through the window. He didn't want Naruto anywhere near it.

"I'll have a clone do it," said Naruto. "Okay?" Sasuke stiffened as if he had completely forgotten he could do that. He made a copy and knew Kyuubi had taken over by the fluid way it dropped to peer under the bed.

Sasuke couldn't help but stare at the clone. It had red fox ears, and a mess of tails sticking out of the back of its pants. When it rose and approached the window, Itachi was gone. Sasuke immediately whipped around, searching the rest of the room. The sound of the window sliding shut was enough to make him jump. "I have to get out of here."

"Why?"

Sasuke turned on him, furious that he could possibly be so dense. Then he lurched away. So that was where Itachi had gone. His heart was pounding so loudly he could barely hear Naruto's voice.

"Sasuke?"

"I'm seeing things that aren't real..."

"How would going outside make it better?" Naruto couldn't stand the way he was staring at him. "Whoever sent that thing could be waiting out there."

"I'm-" Something approached him from the side. He cut into it without waiting to see what it was. A waft of air told him. Naruto's clone. He clenched his fists and refused to look where he knew Naruto was standing. "I'm going to hurt someone. You."

"I'll heal," Naruto said flatly. "Look at me."

"I don't see you."

So who did he see? "Close your eyes," said Naruto. Sasuke flashed him a look of fury that changed to confusion and wariness of whatever he saw. "If you're seeing things, close your eyes. I'll take you to the bathroom and deal with your arm. It's still bleeding."

Sasuke took one look at the tooth marks in his arm and closed his eyes tight, his stomach lurching toward his throat. There were pale things wriggling in the circular holes. He could hear Naruto coming closer, but he still jumped when he touched him. The hallucinations were only visual right now. If this was anything like the last time, they would extend to hearing and touch very quickly. "I really do need to get out of here, Naruto."

"Let me take care of your arm first." Naruto turned him toward the door. He made three clones on the way out of the room. That snake-lizard thing had no scent, but it must have left some kind of trail. If it was there to find, Kyuubi would find it. Sasuke let himself be led to the bathroom and didn't fuss while Naruto rinsed his arm off in the sink. It wasn't until he leaned over the wounds that Sasuke pulled away.

"No licking," Sasuke grimaced. "It's poison."

"Venom, right? So you gotta suck it out." He sighed when Sasuke folded his arms, hiding the wounds. "I bet it wouldn't hurt me. But if you're worried about it, I'll have a clone do it."

Sasuke managed a faint snort. "You're finding a lot of uses for those."

"They're really useful," Naruto shot back. He was relieved that Sasuke was still able to pick at him. He set a clone to working on the bite, spitting into the sink. He couldn't see anything that looked like poison, though. Just blood and spit. He made him keep it up until Sasuke suddenly stamped one of his feet as if he were a horse knocking a fly loose. A moment later Sasuke's free arm swiped at his back. "Sasuke? Are you not just seeing things?"

Sasuke spoke through his teeth. "Is there anything in the tub?"

"No..."

"Then I'm not just seeing things." He jerked his arm away. If there was any venom left, he had already absorbed it. He backed up until he found a wall and then slid down to the floor. His hands brushed over his legs. He knew it wasn't real. Knowing didn't help. He could feel it, hear it. If he opened his eyes, he would see it. "Leave me alone."

"What?"

"It'll pass," Sasuke muttered. It had to. "It's not as bad this time." Maybe the white thing was different from the snakes Orochimaru had set on him. Or the antidote Itachi had dosed him with had built up some sort of immunity. Maybe it was just because he was bigger and he had only been bitten once. He could still think. As long as he could think rationally, he could wait it out.

"What are you going to do?" asked Naruto.

"Wait," said Sasuke.

"Waiting won't do you any good."

That was Naruto's voice, but it had issued from the tub. Sasuke ignored it. "Don't let anyone in here. That way I'll know anything I hear isn't real."

"There's gotta be something I can do," Naruto frowned. He couldn't just leave him like this. "Maybe we can knock you out. So you sleep through it."

Sasuke huffed, amused despite himself. "I couldn't let you even if I wanted to. You saw what I did to that clone of yours."

"I didn't mean hitting you over the head or something!" He shot a quick look at the tub. Sasuke kept hunching away from it. He turned to his clone. "What do you think?"

"I know where Iruka-sensei hides them."

"It could make things worse."

"Worse than this?"

"Good point."

"Are you talking to yourself?" Sasuke demanded sharply.

Naruto winced at his harried tone. "Sorry. I was talking to my clone."

"Only two of you?"

"Uh. Yeah...?" He winced again when Sasuke banged his forehead on his knees. That must not have been the answer Sasuke was hoping for. He waved a hand at his clone. Making Sasuke sick was better than leaving him like this. He had to be losing it fast. Once the clone was gone, he crouched down as close to Sasuke as he dared. "Is it scary...?"

"No. It's frustrating. Infuriating. Confusing." He swiped viciously at his legs. "They won't stop touching me."

Naruto took a deep breath and wrapped his arms around Sasuke's shoulders. Sasuke stiffened, goosebumps breaking out all over his arms and legs. "It's just me," Naruto said quickly. "Just me."

"That's what he said," Sasuke spat.

Naruto's eyes widened. He shifted his hands so they covered Sasuke's ears.

"Naruto?"

"Yeah. Does it help?"

"Not really. But don't let go."

"Okay."

Sasuke concentrated on breathing as calmly as possible. Naruto's hands kept those squirming things from oozing into his ears. They would have been after his nose if he hadn't had his face hidden against his knees. How the hell had he survived this as a child? He must have been terrified out of his mind. The bathroom door clicked open and he flinched in surprise. He had heard it do that at least six times and it startled him every single time.

"Naruto?"

"What did you get him for!"

"They weren't there!"

"I can't believe you even considered using them without talking to me first."

"Naruto?" asked Sasuke.

"Sorry," Naruto sighed. "It's my clone and Iruka-sensei."

"What?" Sasuke's head shot up, his eyes flashing open. Suigetsu was in the bathtub, a wide grin floating at the top of the towering body of water. Sasuke snapped his eyes shut and growled, "Naruto."

"I'm sorry!" Naruto winced. "I was trying to help!"

Iruka crouched beside him, his bleary eyes moving over Sasuke. He could heal the bite, but he couldn't do anything for the hallucinations. "Sasuke? Are you allergic to any drugs that you know of?"

"It's Iruka-sensei asking," Naruto said, when Sasuke gave no sign of having heard the question.

"No," said Sasuke.

"Are you using your talents now?" asked Iruka.

"I can't." He couldn't even use the sharingan to ignore his throbbing arm. He could have avoided most of the tactile sensations just by shielding.

"Try," said Iruka. "Activate the sharingan and then open your eyes for a minute."

Sasuke tensed. He didn't want to. He could still hear Suigetsu squishing around in the tub. If he opened his eyes long enough to see him splash down on him, the hallucinations were vivid enough that he might actually drown again.

"Here." Naruto turned his head toward them. "Just open your eyes for a second. If you see anyone but me and Iruka-sensei, and a clone behind him, then you'll know it's not real."

"Knowing that doesn't help," Sasuke muttered. He activated the sharingan. He could feel his eyes changing, but when he pulled at his energy there was nothing. He opened his eyes just long enough to see a gaping mouth right in front of him. He couldn't stop himself from flinching away.

"Black," Naruto sighed, frowning up at Iruka. "They've been black since he was bitten. Maybe the venom makes it so he can't use them."

"Or control them," said Iruka. He turned to the clone. "Fetch Kakashi."

"No!" Sasuke's eyes flew open. This time he was angry enough to ignore the nightmarish things slobbering on him. Naruto and Iruka were somewhere among them. "All of you get out and leave me alone. None of this is helping." Dealing with them made it harder to ignore all the rest. "I'll wait it out."

"Sure you will," Suigetsu laughed. "You're doing a great job of it so far."

Sasuke snapped him a furious glare. "Stay out of it!" Something slimy wrapped around his ankle. He crushed a hand over it without bothering to look.

"Aw, now you've hurt his feelings. That one really likes you."

"Shut up!" Sasuke snarled and tried to dive into the bathtub.

Naruto had to use his full strength to keep him from it. "Red!" Naruto yelped at Iruka. "They're totally red now! What do I do?"

"Hold him down," said Iruka. "Talk to him."

"Sasuke? Sasuke, there's no one there. Sasuke? It's me. Come on, you can hear me. Sasu- Ow! Bastard! You bit me!"

"See?" Suigetsu grinned. "That's what I always liked about you. You're a mean little shit."

"Shut up," Sasuke snarled, "or I swear I'll kill you!"

"Yeah?" Suigetsu taunted. "You and what army? I could drown you with my pinky." He waggled the digit in question.

Sasuke caught hold of the edge of the tub and tried to drag himself to it. The slimy things had been joined by furry things, all of them holding him down and pulling him backwards. He tried to knock them loose with a jolt of electricity, but his energy gave no response. His hand was yanked free of the tub. He ducked his head and chomped down on the furry thing circling his wrist. It yelped weirdly but held on tight. Suigetsu flicked water in his face and laughed. With a furious hiss, Sasuke bit the furry thing again, determined to chew right through it.

"Oh My God That Hurts!" Naruto wailed. He grabbed Sasuke's hair and tried to pry him loose without breaking his neck. "Sasuke! Don't eat my fingers! Please?"

"Now might be a good time to try shielding," Iruka said weakly.

"Yeah, sure! 'Cause I can totally concentrate while he's- Shit! Sasuke! Can you chew through bone? I'm gonna bleed to death!"

"Well," Kakashi drawled from the doorway. "I can see why you woke me up. Along with everyone else on the second floor."

"Do something," Iruka snapped.

"All right." Kakashi stepped into the room and leaned over the struggling pair. "Hey, Naruto. Grope him."

"What? He's chewing through my fingers and you want me to make out with him?"

"Well, I was going to suggest you kiss him, but he'd probably chew your lips off. So grope him. Nothing gets through to him like a dose of personal space invasion. Trust me." He put a hand on Iruka's shoulder and turned him away. "You don't want to see this."

Naruto let go of Sasuke's hair, reached around his bucking body, and grabbed his crotch. Sasuke stopped moving, absolutely frozen. "Sasuke? Can you hear me?" The teeth unclenched enough for him to pull his mutilated hand away. "Sasuke?"

"Naruto?" Sasuke asked warily.

"Yeah. It's me."

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to keep you from eating my fingers," Naruto admitted.

"Do you have fur?"

"No. I don't have much in the way of fingers left, either." His hand was healing as fast as he could make it, but it still hurt like hell. "Why are you trying to get into the tub, Sasuke?"

Sasuke tensed. "Why are you groping me in front of him?" he shot back.

Naruto groaned. "There's no one in the tub, Sasuke."

"That's right," Suigetsu grinned, waggling his fingers. "No one here but us imaginary water people. You two go right ahead and fuck. Don't mind me."

"You are so dead," Sasuke snarled at him. A rough twist at his privates had him hunching his shoulders. "Naruto! Stop molesting me in front of him!"

"There's. No one. In the tub. Sasuke." Naruto curled his arm around Sasuke's chest and levered him back until he was sitting on his knees. "Nothing there. Not real. Remember? You knew that a few minutes ago."

"Yeah," said Suigetsu. He arced over the edge of the tub, frowning down at him. "You turning senile or something?" He flowed back, snickering, as Sasuke took a swipe at him. "Man, 'tachi would die if he saw you now. A hand on your cock the only thing keeping you from a total break down."

"I hate you! I always hated you!"

"Liar, liar, pants on fire. And they might as well be with your snuggle bunny groping the hell out of you. He's got some grip on him."

Groaning, Naruto held on for dear life to the snarling thing that used to be his cool-headed boyfriend. "Someone help me out here! He's going to start chewing on me any second now." A hand reached over his shoulder, two blue pills lying on the palm.

"Get those down him," said Kakashi.

"How am I supposed to do that?"

"Easily." Kakashi popped the pills into Naruto's mouth and touched Sasuke's shoulder. The crazy kid was flattened so fast he choked mid-snarl. Kakashi kindly rolled him over for Naruto. "There you go. Get them down him and let me know when he passes out so I can take the weight off."

Naruto heaved a sigh of relief. He almost lost some fingers prying Sasuke's mouth open, but once he was kissing him, Sasuke froze again. His eyes were red and wild, but he didn't bite his tongue off. And he actually swallowed the pills with only one disgusted choke.

"Naruto?"

"Yeah."

"Why did you feed me maggots?"

"They weren't maggots," Naruto grimaced. He leaned close and kissed him again, on the lips this time. "Sasuke? I don't like you when you're crazy."

"Then why are your tails wagging?"

Naruto gave up trying to reason with him. "How many tails have I got?"

"They're wagging too fast to count." Sasuke's upper lip curled suddenly. "Make him shut up or let me go do it."

Glaring tiredly at the tub, Naruto growled, "Shut the fuck up or I'll make you give that faucet head."

Sasuke snorted in disgust, his eyes rolling in an attempt to see behind him. "You would enjoy that."

"Hey," Suigetsu shrugged. "I take my fun where I can get it. Speaking of which, there's a slimy little fellow two inches from your left ear looking for a happy home."

"Naruto," Sasuke tensed. "Cover my ears or let me up."

"I'm not the one holding you down," Naruto sighed. "But okay, I got it." He covered Sasuke's ears and sent another look at the tub. Still empty. "Is it your brother?"

"Worse," Sasuke grimaced. "Much worse."

"I'll take that as a compliment!" said Suigetsu.

"Why don't you close your eyes," Naruto wheedled. "Give those pills a chance to..." Sasuke's eyes had faded to black. He leaned closer, hoping for clarity. "Sasuke?"

"It's your fault I can't trust anyone," he muttered. "I really hate you."

"Comes with the territory," said Suigetsu. "Sweet dreams. Maybe you'll see me when you wake up."

"I hope not," Sasuke mumbled.

Naruto waited a few minutes to make sure Sasuke was truly out of it. Then he turned to his clone, who was still guarding the door. Kakashi was waiting just outside, along with Iruka, Sai, Sakura, and Ino. Naruto cringed when he saw them all. Sasuke was going to be so embarrassed when he woke up, assuming he was sane enough to care.

Kakashi took the weight off and gave Sasuke a sweeping look with the sharingan. He winked at Iruka. "Worked like a charm. You can heal him now." He stepped out of the way, turning to the ones in the hallway. "You guys go back to bed. There won't be any more yelling tonight." At least, none where they could hear it. He shooed them away. "Go on. Show's over. You, too," he said to Sai. "He's outside your jurisdiction, remember?"

"Can you carry him to his room?" Iruka asked Naruto.

"I could, but I'm not going to. I sent some copies to find out how that thing got into his room. I haven't heard from them yet. I'll take him to my room."

"Keep an eye on him. If his breathing changes at all, come get me."

"Got it." He picked Sasuke up and sent one last look at the tub. His clone was still waiting. He nodded at him. "Get his notebook." That would give him something to do while he watched Sasuke sleep. And it was about time he read through it. He wanted a name to go with the talent.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Iruka was hovering just outside Naruto's door when Kakashi left his room. Despite the fact that Kakashi had taken his sweet time, the man was in the exact same spot he had been earlier. He was facing the door, head down, vacant gaze aimed vaguely at the doorknob, one hand raised and frozen halfway to touching it. Whether he was lost in thought or in a drugged stupor was anyone's guess. Kakashi supposed it was a combination of the two. He was curious to see if Iruka would go through with it and have whatever talk he felt he needed to have with Naruto. But he had an idea it would be quite some time before Iruka moved from that spot on his own initiative, considering how long he had been standing there already. The night wasn't that young. So rather than knocking, and possibly snapping Iruka out of his daze, he slipped into Sai's room as quietly as he might have snuck up behind Sasuke. He wasn't surprised when his sudden entrance startled the boy, though he did raise an eyebrow at the speed with which Sai blanked his computer monitor.

"I'm sorry to intrude," Kakashi said pleasantly. "There's one little thing I wanted to ask before I call it an evening."

Sai's tone was as curious and pleasant as could be, and his expression would have certainly fooled anyone who didn't wear a mask on a regular basis. "What might that be?"

Kakashi leaned casually against the door, playing the game as well as the kid if not better. "Predictions. I was just curious what sort of futures your group saw before all of these wild cards changed things for you. Not the futures you see now, because knowing those might influence things and you're not here to influence." He gave a long smile at the way Sai's eye ticked. "What three futures did you see for Sasuke before? When he only had one chance of living to adulthood? You didn't seem too surprised by the action just now, so I assume this attack was in the old predictions as well as the new ones. Am I wrong?"

"No," Sai admitted evenly. "We knew this would happen. The only change is that he was supposed to leave the house. None of our predictions had him staying and risking the people here. It isn't in his nature to knowingly endanger others. Even our new predictions showed him leaving the house the moment he realized what had happened. We couldn't account for Naruto's presence changing things."

"And what was supposed to happen when he left the house? Not in the new predictions, but in the old ones."

"They're the same as far as that goes. He was supposed to leave, to be captured a safe distance from the house, and held until Uchiha arrives." He gave a sober frown, genuine and cold. "He shouldn't be here. If he's still in this house when Uchiha arrives it will be impossible to ensure that no one else is involved. He's supposed to stay in this town until Uchiha arrives, not in this house. I know you assisted Naruto in keeping him here. I don't know what you did to counter the hallucinogen, but you shouldn't have."

"Don't." Kakashi waved a hand, not missing the slight flinch Sai gave. The boy was wary of him. Good. "I didn't ask what you think I or anyone here should do in order to make your predictions come true. I didn't ask for your opinions or anything of the sort. I asked what three futures you saw before coming here. The three defunct futures. That's all. I have better things to do than chat with you, and I'm sure you have business you'd like to get back to." His eye flicked to the black computer screen. "Reporting in and all."

Sai's lips pressed thin, an odd expression pulling at his face. "You don't intimidate me."

"Yes, I do," Kakashi smiled. "So tell me what I came to hear and I'll leave you to your work."

"No," Sai sighed, "you really don't. You intrigue me. I haven't been given full clearance to your case file, so all I know are the basics about you."

"And you can't draw me very well because of the sharingan," Kakashi finished for him. He almost laughed when that pursed little frown pulled Sai's face again. "I know more than you think I should, is that what you're trying to say? Well, I probably do. But I don't know those three predictions of yours. Tell. Quickly, if you don't mind. I don't want to spend the night playing with you."

"It doesn't matter now. Those predictions have been discarded." A moment of silence stretched out between them, then Sai turned to face his computer. His voice was toneless as he recited the defunct information. "All three futures had him being captured tonight, while under the drug's influence. They kept him until Uchiha arrived. One prediction had Sasuke dying during the encounter, an accident as far as we could tell, though it ultimately led Uchiha to wipe out the group in retaliation. One prediction had Uchiha dying during the encounter, though we were never able to determine how exactly, and the - and Sasuke being subsumed by the other group. We considered that death. The third prediction had the two groups parting without incident only for both brothers to die together years later. Again, the nature and cause of Uchiha's death was never determined. We didn't rule out the possibility that Sasuke killed Uchiha before taking his own life. He was more than powerful enough to have done so by then."

"I see. Even when he survived to adulthood, he still led a short life. And suicide? Really? All three of those futures seem rather bleak to me. But now you see two futures where Sasuke lives to adulthood rather than just one...?"

Sai didn't so much as glance over at him. "I thought you didn't want to discuss our current predictions."

"You're right. I don't." Kakashi flashed a smile that he knew the boy could see reflected in that blank monitor. "You've told me more than enough. Thanks for your time. And thank you for not interfering tonight. I'm sure you were tempted to."

"You have no idea," Sai muttered.

Kakashi laughed quietly before slipping back out the door. He had an idea, alright. In fact, he was fairly sure he had figured the group's agenda here out completely. All he had wanted was confirmation and Sai had given him that. They claimed there were always three futures, one good, two bad. Of those three futures, it was obvious which one they had considered good. The one in which Itachi survived. As far as they were concerned, what happened to Sasuke was incidental. And if they had told Iruka that, Sai would never have been allowed into the house. He had to restrain himself from lecturing the boy about hiding things better. Subterfuge and misdirection didn't seem to be Sai's strong suits. As it was, he would just wait and see how long the kid could go without interfering.

Iruka was still in the hall, as motionless as ever. Kakashi shook his head at the sight of him. For all he knew, Iruka had fallen asleep standing up and would stay there until gravity finally had her way wicked with him. If he'd had a samaritan bone in his body, he might have considered waiting around to catch him, or leading him off to bed. Instead he flashed an amused smile at the man's back and slipped away while Iruka was otherwise occupied. He would find out later whether or not Iruka had followed through with his obvious need to hover and meddle.

.-.

As Sasuke had accused, Naruto was putting his clones to good use. Along with the ones he had sent out earlier, he assigned another one to the bed. It was currently stretched out on top of the covers, which he claimed was more to keep Sasuke warm than to snuggle with him, and watching him for the slightest twitch. Naruto was at his desk, skimming through Sasuke's notebook while Kyuubi memorized and made connections.

The picture that formed was horribly interesting. It helped that the notes were concise and detached, impersonal, even. Each early account included a detailed description of the mutant, anything noteworthy the mutant had said, accents and scars, so he would be recognized on sight if they ever met again. After a little skimming, Naruto knew Sasuke had never fought the same mutant twice. The descriptions became shorter over time, less about what part of the world Sasuke supposed they had come from, more on the nature of their talents, with later additions listing what talents he had seen or copied since the fight that could have been used to counter them. Where the first accounts were mostly records of the injuries he had sustained, the later ones recorded the injuries he had inflicted. Kyuubi in particular could see the way Sasuke had gone from victim to aggressor, defense to offense, could almost point out which fights had the biggest impact on his approach to the entire situation.

One loss to a mutant with wires that had wrapped him up and could easily have cut him into a hundred pieces. In every fight thereafter, he was shielding the moment any attack began. That was also the point where he had gotten his threads, though there was no mention of them being used offensively until much later. A one-hit loss where his opponent took him down with a single blow that made his shielding seem nonexistent. Then he was reinforcing so that his own blows carried more impact than his physical strength could achieve. Sasuke might have taunted him to read the notes to teach him about the variety of mutants out there, but the book told more about the way Sasuke fought than anything, a record of how his tactics had developed and why.

Some things weren't clear in the notebook. All of the early accounts had mutants who were faster than him, with no way of telling whether that was because they had been older or because their talents gave them a speed advantage. Kyuubi had expected to find a fight with a mutant whose main talent was speed, one he could point to as being the source of Sasuke's own speed. There were none. Even in the accounts of Sasuke's fighting, the speed increase seemed gradual, taken for granted. Where he had started being unable to follow the moves of half his opponents, eventually he was not only following, but outstripping them. Naruto speculated that maybe he had copied speed from someone without realizing it and began to perfect it over time. Kyuubi wasn't so sure. Sasuke hadn't copied his ability to manipulate his energy from anyone. He might have seen the ways others used their own energy, reinforcement, shielding, but he had learned how to implement it on his own. Through trial and error, or sheer experience over time? Naruto was learning that exact same thing himself, which meant anyone could probably learn to do it. Was speed the same way? Just another way of manipulating energy? Even later, when Sasuke was clearly faster than most of his opponents, they were fast enough in their own right to run circles around Naruto. That much was obvious, and frustrating. Kyuubi had never considered himself slow. After being chased by Sasuke in the field, while he and Naruto were running together at top speed, he had to concede that they were slow. Quite slow. Humiliatingly slow. He wanted to believe they would get faster the more they trained, fought, because otherwise they would always be at a huge disadvantage. It was bad enough being danced around by Kakashi and Sasuke without imagining a serious fight with enemies just as fast if not faster.

Another thing that wasn't clear in the accounts was the purpose of some of the attacks. They were going on the assumption that Sasuke's brother had sent these mutants after him for a specific reason, because that was the assumption Sasuke made in his notes. They were sent after him so he would copy them, learn from them, to make him stronger. But there were some attacks where his opponents were so far beyond him they seemed pointless. The shark was one of these. In the account, Sasuke noted that he had seen him before, accompanying Itachi, but they had never fought. For good reason, apparently. The mutant had barely grazed him with a bizarre looking sword and sucked every drop of energy he had. Why? Sasuke hadn't learned from it, hadn't copied anything. The snake was another. The attack was over the moment it started, and even if he had been intended to copy that talent, what would he ever need with the ability to make creatures from his own body? Assuming he had even copied it. It didn't sound like he had. The account had more information on the aftermath, the hallucinations and hospitalization, than the talent itself. So what was the point of setting that mutant on Sasuke? They were trying to get into Itachi's head and failing miserably.

The water mutant was the only account with a name given to the attacker. Suigetsu. There was nothing in the notebook implying that he and Sasuke had known each other before the attack except for the fact that Sasuke had known his name. And it was definitely an attack, not a fight. He had been stabbed with something and when he had woken and turned, he was surrounded by water and drowned. The entire attack lasted less than two minutes by Sasuke's count, most of that time spent suffocating. Unlike with the shark and snake, they had heard enough from Sasuke to know the point of this one. He hadn't copied anything, but he had certainly learned from it. Judging by the way Sasuke had hallucinated about the guy, it was a lesson he would never forget. Naruto didn't want to read anymore after that.

'What do you think it was like?' Naruto asked. 'Living like this...'

Kyuubi responded sharply, reminding him, 'That's not why we're reading this. Feeling sorry for him won't help anything. You can't change the past, you can only learn from it. Like he has.'

'Yeah, that's easy to say.' Naruto risked a fleeting glance at the bed. He couldn't look for long without getting a burning dose of jealousy at the sight. That was himself lying there, holding Sasuke, and he knew it. Once he let the clone go, he would remember being there, doing that. And still he couldn't stand to see it. His jealousy and Kyuubi's possessiveness. How could Kyuubi even try to pretend he wasn't affected by what they had read? He didn't need to turn around and look to know the fox was coiled, his body language giving him away as surely as the fuming waves he was letting off. This wasn't about feeling sorry for Sasuke, though he did, this was about feeling outraged on his behalf. Kyuubi could tell him to look at the notes objectively, but he knew they both felt the exact same way. 'We have to kill this guy...'

'Now that's easy to say,' Kyuubi snorted in disgust. 'You're not killing anyone. I'll be the one to do it.'

'Are we seriously going to argue over who gets to finish this guy off? Because if we are, we might as well wait till Sasuke wakes up so he can jump in, too. We all hate the guy. If he's as strong as everyone says, then we have a better chance working together than fighting each other to see who gets the first crack at him.'

Kyuubi didn't respond to that. Naruto didn't understand yet. Right now Naruto was upset and angry, protective and eager to get rid of the threat. But Kyuubi knew better than that. It was that soft pathetic part of Naruto's nature that made Kyuubi unwilling to even consider what might happen to him if he were ever truly on his own. Naruto was too human to kill, even with someone who clearly needed to die. To this day, Naruto continued to suffer guilt over the people Kyuubi had slaughtered, people who had been well on their way to torturing a crying child to death. If Naruto ever took part in a murder himself, Kyuubi knew that precious conscience of his would cripple him afterward. Naruto was just that useless.

'That's not true,' Naruto growled. He whipped around, too angry to be amused at the way Kyuubi flinched, eyes wide, ears back, looking startled and caught. Although he hadn't heard any words, he'd gotten the gist of it from the vibes his fox was letting off. 'You're thinking about what you did, aren't you? About what happened to me and those people you killed? This is different. We're not talking about killing an entire crowd of people just because one or two of them did something bad. This is one maniac who took his own brother and systematically tortured him for years. And he's still doing it. He has to be killed or else he might never stop.'

'Angry words,' Kyuubi said quietly. He was surprised Naruto had caught the direction of his thoughts, but he wouldn't be dissuaded by some little speech given in the heat of the moment. 'You can agree that he needs to die, but if you had any part in his death you would feel guilty about it. Don't bother to deny it, we both know you would.'

'So what if I do? Knowing I'll feel guilty afterward isn't going to stop me from doing what needs to be done. I hate him, Kyuubi, just as much as you do. You're not the only one who's going to get satisfaction out of it, either. I want to hurt him every bit as much as he's hurt Sasuke. I want him dead so I don't have to worry about him ever hurting Sasuke again. Yeah, I'm sorry he has to be killed because the thought of killing anyone makes me feel dirty. But so what? I'm human. We're supposed to feel that way. Do you think Sasuke doesn't feel that way? He got used to it because he had to, that doesn't mean he likes having to do it. I'm never going to like it. That doesn't mean I can't do it when it's necessary.'

'You're still talking at me, still spitting words.' Kyuubi pressed close enough that he could have tugged Naruto back into his mind if he had wanted to, overriding the mental objection before it could come out in more words. 'You won't make me agree with your morals no matter how much you fling them at me. I know you have the will to kill, if you're forced to. You'll kill to protect, if you have to. But even if you are forced to do so, you won't be able to. By the time you realize you have been forced, that you have no choice but to kill, either you or the person you're trying to protect will already be dead. Read the notes again, look at the numbers. Five seconds between spotting the attack and delivering the finishing blow. No time for doubt, no time to decide if there's a choice or not, that choice was made the second the attack was spotted. That's his instinct, and mine, and that's the sort of enemy that will kill you and never feel the guilt you feel. Accept it. Even if you could judge the situation and make that decision in an instant, that instant will slow us down too much. We're not fast enough to waste even that instant on hesitation. And you will hesitate. Because you're supposed to. Supposed to feel that way, to be human. But you're not. You're a mutant. You may look human, want to be human, but you're something else. So is he, and so are they. And so am I. There is nothing human in me. Keep your human morals. They're good for you, I know that. Don't expect me to share them. I don't. I won't. And I don't just take satisfaction out of killing, Naruto. I enjoy it. I know you hate that, but it's true. He deserves to die and I'm going to enjoy killing him very much.'

Naruto wanted to turn away in disgust, to put enough distance between them that he could ignore the hard truth until it settled into the back of his mind where it belonged. Had Kyuubi been in his den, he would have done just that. As it was, he let his back be warmed, as if Kyuubi were really standing behind him. But he he didn't lean into it. He kept himself stiff in at least a token of resistance, enough so his face and front felt cold in comparison to the warmth behind him. He accepted Kyuubi's bloodlust, in that he knew it was there and wouldn't go away, but he would never fully accept it. There was always a temptation to listen, to appreciate Kyuubi's way of thinking. He was most aware of it when he was angry, how similar their need for justice was, and how easy it would be to fall into Kyuubi's more sadistic enjoyment in the reaping of vengeance. He could be just as self righteous as Kyuubi when it came to revenge, repaying someone who had wronged him or one of his. He got just as much satisfaction and enjoyment as Kyuubi did when it came to punishing someone he felt deserved it. The difference between them was that he didn't want to be that way. Kyuubi could pander to him and dump scorn on him for his stubborn moral code, his naivety, but as far as Naruto was concerned that was what kept him human.

'Rage makes us no better than an animal,' he remarked. He wasn't trying to convince Kyuubi of anything now. He didn't want to fight a useless fight. But it had to be said. 'It's the fight or flight instinct Iruka-sensei talks about. Ours is fight, it comes in anger, and it's blind and rabid. Kill or be killed? We'll kill. You'll enjoy it and I'll regret it, because I don't want to be an animal and you don't want to be human. That's just how it is. When the time comes, we'll react the same way, with rage, so it doesn't really matter if we don't feel the same afterward. By then, it'll already be done.'

'Agreed.'

Naruto sighed, looking down at the notebook still opened in front of him. He wanted to read the more recent notes Sasuke had made, to see if there was any mention of him in there, but he didn't feel up to any more right now. 'Do you think the 'fight or flight' thing is different for him?'

'I think he's been trained for fight,' Kyuubi said quietly. 'We've never had to fight to defend ourselves. I was defending you when I began killing those people, not myself. I continued killing them because I wanted to, I enjoyed it, they deserved it.'

Naruto didn't agree because there had been too many people involved and they couldn't have all deserved it. But Kyuubi already knew how he felt about that, so he wouldn't bother repeating it. 'You were motivated by anger, revenge, rage.'

'And bloodlust, yes. He's different. He was conditioned through fear. When he stabbed us, he did it because he was afraid but unable to flee. He took flight mentally while physically he switched to automatic fight. It's a trained response. Instead of feeling more, he feels nothing. I could see it, smell it, his instinct was flight but his reaction was the exact opposite. It's wrong to automatically act counter to one's instinct that way. Unnatural.'

'Because that's the way his brother wanted him to be. But why?' Naruto didn't expect an answer to that. Sasuke had no idea, so how were they supposed to guess? 'Just to see if he could...? If the guy has that many dangerous mutants handy to send after Sasuke, then why didn't he do his 'training' on them instead? Why turn a normal person, a little kid, into a mutant if all he wanted was to make a killing machine? It makes no sense.' That was the worst part. If there was no motive, no reason behind any of it, then that meant the man was doing it simply because he wanted to do it. Because he enjoyed it? What Itachi had done to Sasuke was easily as sadistic as Kyuubi's bloodiest fantasies.

'He's much worse than I am,' Kyuubi argued, in an angry and insulted tone. 'I let my victims die when I'm done with them. He keeps his alive for years so he can resume the torture any time he feels like it. Even I'm not that depraved.'

'Not helping,' Naruto winced. He didn't like the present tense Kyuubi had used, as if he were actually killing people on a regular basis rather than just imagining it. Knowing he had a would-be serial killer sharing his head was difficult enough without having to talk about it. 'That's a good point, though,' he said quickly. 'Sasuke did say his brother doesn't want him dead. If he doesn't try to hurt Sasuke when he gets here, then it'll be hard to justify just walking up and attacking the guy.'

'Everything we've heard implies that he won't let anyone get between him and Sasuke. He'll attack us when we do. Then it's self defense.'

'Right.' Not that killing out of self defense would clear his conscience any, but Naruto knew better than to start that argument up again. 'I hope we hear from the clones soon. It's bad enough waiting for Sasuke's brother without the mutants here starting trouble early.' Assuming it was them. Kyuubi assured him there were no new mutants in the area, but Naruto didn't see why the ones here wouldn't have tried something sooner if that was their aim. The only thing they could come up with was that they had waited till the last minute so there was less time for Sasuke to get away from them before his brother turned up. Naruto preferred to hope that wasn't the reason. They weren't anywhere near ready for Itachi to show up.

'While we're waiting, maybe you should see what Iruka wants.'

Naruto shot a quick look around the room, wondering what he had missed. 'Iruka-sensei?'

'He's been standing outside your door for half an hour now. Ever so often he shifts his weight from one foot to the other, so I'm sure he's awake out there.'

'Why now?' Naruto blurted. He didn't want to talk to him right now. Or ever, if Iruka wanted to talk to him about what he suspected Iruka wanted to talk to him about. 'It's because I told him I was taking Sasuke to my room. Can't he just let it go for tonight? It's not like we're going to mess around when Sasuke's drugged up. Not that he'd have any room to talk if we did, what with that pervert being up in his bedroom the other night. Unless he snuck up while Iruka-sensei was asleep...?'

'That wasn't the first time he slept up there,' Kyuubi said, calmly crushing Naruto's hopes. 'It's becoming a habit. Iruka is well aware of it.'

'Thanks for rubbing the salt in,' Naruto groused. He squirmed in his chair, eyeing the door for a second before glancing at the bed. The clone was asleep, still spooning around Sasuke's blanketed form. He would give anything to switch places with him.

'You're the one who insisted a clone do it.'

'Because Sasuke's afraid he'll wake up and kill me or something. If the clone handles him waking up just fine, then he'll see there's nothing to worry about. And if the clone does gets poofed, then we just won't mention that it was there. He'll never know he was right, which means we'll still have plenty of chances to prove he's wrong. It's the perfect solution.' Naruto ignored the snorting fox behind him. He knew he was right. Besides, Sasuke was the one who had remarked on how he was finding lots of uses for his clones. That was practically a dare for him to find as many uses as possible. Who was he to disappoint him? He sent a longer look at the door, his eyes dropping to lock on the motionless doorknob. 'You think if we stay really quiet, he'll just go away?'

'No. Eventually he'll either muster up the courage to knock or he'll fall asleep on his feet.' Kyuubi snorted in amusement, then let out a quiet rumble. 'It's been a while since I've smelled him this nervous. Still tasty.'

'Yeah. Ew. Don't go there with Iruka-sensei, okay? At least not where I can hear you.' He went to the door, wondering what Iruka had to be nervous about. Naruto was the one on the spot here. Just as Kyuubi had warned, Iruka was standing right outside his door when he opened it. A long moment passed before the man blinked and lifted his gaze from Naruto's waist, about where the doorknob used to be, to his face. 'He's so out of it,' Naruto winced. 'Has he really been standing out here for half an hour? Why didn't you tell me sooner?'

'You were busy lecturing me about morality. I didn't want to interrupt your sermon with a reality check. You might have taken it the wrong way. You get rather touchy when I point out your blatant hypocrisy.'

'You're such an ass,' Naruto muttered, rolling his eyes. He had opened the door just enough so he could fill it with his body and, hopefully, obscure Iruka's view of the room. Now he edged forward, wincing again at how slow Iruka was to react. He really didn't want to have this talk in the hallway, but he was no more willing to leave the room than he was to invite Iruka into it. "Iruka-sensei!" Naruto said, trying to sound surprised and failing miserably. His smile was so forced it hurt. "Did you need something?"

"I..." Iruka bit his lower lip, his gaze shifting over Naruto's shoulder to stare at the door. "Has there been any change with Sasuke?"

"No, nothing. He's sleeping normally." There were a few differences Kyuubi had pointed out, such as the lack of eye movement. Considering the hallucinations he had been having, Naruto figured it was a good thing he wasn't dreaming right now. He didn't want to imagine what kind of nightmares that poison might cause. He wouldn't mention that to Iruka, though. Then Iruka would ask how he knew Sasuke usually dreamed a lot, and he definitely didn't want to get into the whole 'sneaking into Sasuke's room at night to watch him sleep' stalker thing.

'He doesn't mind Kakashi sneaking into his room,' Kyuubi pointed out, sounding a little sullen. 'Why shouldn't we sneak into Sasuke's?'

'You snuck in, not me,' Naruto reminded him. 'And it's more the 'staring at him all night while he sleeps' thing that looks bad. Besides, you just said the pervert wasn't sneaking into Iruka's room while he was asleep. Are you saying he did?'

'No. Not while he's asleep.'

'Okay, then.' Naruto tried to project a calm, neutral, doctor-like expression onto his face. He had no idea what that would look like, so he wasn't sure how well he pulled it off. The idea was to assure Iruka that there was no need to have this talk right now, because Naruto was only reacting the way he would if any of his friends were sick. "It's pretty late. I'll wake you up if there's any change, but I think he'll be fine. Really. You don't have to stay up."

"Right." Iruka turned slowly, started to walk away, and then stopped. His eyes closed and he took a deep breath. Naruto was already cringing by the time he let it out and turned back to him. "Naruto. Do you have any idea what you're getting yourself into? Just how attached to him are you? Honestly?"

"I'm keeping him." Naruto winced when Kyuubi gave him a mental slash. "We're keeping him," he amended. "I know all about his situation and I don't care. We're keeping him." He couldn't read Iruka's expression at all, but he didn't like the way he looked at him. It made him want to fidget, to drop his eyes and scuff his feet like a little kid. Or blush, he could easily have given in to that.

"Have you told him that?"

Naruto jumped, glancing behind him as if there were any way Sasuke could have snuck out of bed and come within hearing range without him knowing. "No way!" he grimaced. He shook his head at Iruka. "You can't say that to a person, especially someone like Sasuke." He barely resisted the urge to rub his arms. "He'd think I was saying I owned him or something. He'd be insulted, furious, or he'd freak out and run and then I'd have a heck of a time conning him back with me."

"Naruto-"

"I did tell him that much, though," Naruto said quickly, guessing what Iruka was going to say. "I told him if he runs off, I'll just follow him and bring him back. He said I was stupid, but in the end he didn't run. He stayed here, so that means he's okay with it. Tonight, too. He wanted to take off to make sure he didn't hurt anyone, but he didn't because he knows I would have gone after him and brought him back."

"If you're forcing him to-"

Naruto snorted, choking back a laugh. "Come on, Iruka-sensei. You've met Sasuke, right?"

Iruka sighed, a frown breaking on his face. "Manipulation is just as-"

"Again, have you met Sasuke? He's way more manipulative than I am." He shook his head, smiling a little. "I thought you'd be more worried about me than about him, at least as far as that goes."

"I am worried about you," Iruka huffed. "Any relationship you two have is going to be so..." He cut himself off. He wasn't going to say anything about that. Anything he said about their relationship itself would be meaningless if Sasuke's brother took him away, and premature even if he ended up staying. What he was really worried about was Itachi. As protective as Naruto was being, not letting Sasuke out of his sight, he was going to be there when the brother showed up no matter how they tried to keep him away. He couldn't tell Naruto not to interfere because that would just make him even more determined to do just that. What could he say that wouldn't just encourage Naruto to prove him wrong, possibly getting killed in the attempt? And what if things went smoothly? For all they knew, Itachi would come, check on his brother, and leave, giving the busybody spies nothing to show for their time and making all of his worry unnecessary. If Itachi didn't intend to start a fight, then Iruka certainly didn't want to get Naruto keyed up for one. He sighed. "Naruto, do you know who sent the thing that bit Sasuke?"

Naruto jumped on the change of subject. "It wasn't his brother, I know that much. It had to be one of the mutants who were already here. Kyuubi thinks they were trying to run Sasuke out of the house so he'd be in their hands when his brother shows up. Stack the deck in their favor, something like that. Sasuke has this rule about not involving bystanders, so the second he realized he was hallucinating he wanted to go outside. They were probably planning on him reacting that way. I'll have to ask him about it when he wakes up. It won't happen again, though, if that's what you're worried about."

"Alright. Stay inside tonight, okay?" He gave a tired smile at how enthusiastically Naruto nodded. There were undoubtedly some of those duplicates of his outside at this very moment. He could already see how that ability would make grounding him difficult in the future. "I'll see you in the morning. Wake me up if there's any trouble, though. Alright?"

"Sure! Good-night, Iruka-sensei!" Naruto waved at Iruka's back, just in case the man glanced back at him. The second he opened the door to the stairs, Naruto ducked back into his room. 'Ugh! I'm glad he was half asleep. I'd hate to have tried that with him wide awake.'

'A brief stay of execution at best,' Kyuubi sniffed. 'Why don't you take a nap while I read the rest of the journal. I'll wake you when we hear from the clones.'

'Sounds like a plan.' Naruto shot one longing look at the comfortable pair on the bed and then relinquished control to Kyuubi. Sleeping in Kyuubi's den alone while a copy of himself snuggled with Sasuke? That so wasn't fair.

.-.

The only part of the lizard snake thing that hadn't fallen apart by the time Naruto's clone returned to Sasuke's room was the head. Sasuke had ripped the body apart, spraying blood and showering the floor with a handful of clumps, including at least one stretch of belly with legs still attached. But they had crumbled and dried until it looked like a simple pile of dirt clods. Even those lacked a clear scent, as if they ha'd been baked in the sun until the last bit of life was burned away. The head, on the other hand, was still intact and very lifelike. Yet even it smelled more like dirt, possibly earthworms, than a real creature. Naruto bagged it and took it with him. They had found dirt smears on the wall leading up to the window, and what might have been a slithering trail in the dirt patch in the back yard. That trail wasn't seen anywhere in the dew-dropped grass. Without a scent, there was no chance of following it through the fields. Kyuubi didn't see any point doing that, anyway. They already knew there was at least one mutant in town who stunk like wet earth.

They still sent one of the clones to patrol the field lining the backyard, just on the off chance he might sniff something out. Two more were left hanging out in the yard itself, in case there were more scentless beasties looking for a way to sneak into the house. After an hour it was clear that standing guard would be a long boring affair. They spent the time well, though, practicing shielding and brainstorming possible bubble-popping methods while the Kyuubi in each kept an eye on their surroundings.

The clone with the bagged head didn't waste any time. He went straight to the house where they had smelled the underground mutant with every intention of digging him up if necessary. Kabuto appeared from around the side of the house before they could take a single step off the sidewalk.

Naruto's first impression of the man was that he looked annoyed at being disturbed. He almost felt embarrassed, as if he should apologize for bothering him so late. It was hard to peg the guy as someone who would send a hallucinogenic snake-lizard after someone. Sasuke had warned him that the 'doctor' was young, but not that he gave off an aura of harmlessness. He actually reminded Naruto a little of Iruka. He simply did not look like a bad guy. And he was definitely a lot smaller than Naruto had expected. For some reason he had thought the guy would be ripped with muscles and tall and intimidating looking.

Kyuubi quickly reminded him that this was a healer, someone who attacked with energy rather than physical talents, and not to let his appearance fool him. They had agreed beforehand that Naruto would be in control so that Kyuubi could continue to monitor everything around them, but Kyuubi was hard pressed to stay quiet when Naruto immediately started to doubt himself.

Kabuto stopped a few feet away and folded his arms over his chest, the streetlight reflecting off his glasses. "Why are you making a liar out of me, Uzumaki Naruto?"

"How do you know my name?" Naruto demanded, instantly defensive.

Kyuubi winced. The guy probably knew the names of everyone in the house. But at least Naruto was suspicious now. For a moment there Kyuubi had been afraid Naruto would completely drop his guard. Naruto really did have a bad habit of judging people by their appearances and Sasuke had failed to mention that the 'doctor' had a pretty face. Kyuubi snorted to himself, knowing he would have to remind Naruto of this the next time the boy complained about his leg fetish.

"I know more about you than you do," Kabuto said flatly. "Now please answer my question. I gave Sasuke my word that I wouldn't interfere with anyone living in that house. I don't appreciate being made a liar. Why are you here? This is the second time you've come here. If it's simple curiosity, I don't have time for it."

'So I was right,' Kyuubi growled to Naruto. 'That mutant could sense me as clearly as I sensed him. But I don't sense him now. Either he isn't here or he's underground again.'

'He did come out from behind the house,' Naruto shot back.

He pulled the bag out of his pocket and held it up so the man could see the head, "This is why I'm here. It stinks of dirt, just like that Frankenstein friend you have out back." The man stiffened and then hurried forward for a closer look. Naruto took a sharp step back, letting Kyuubi flash some of his energy to warn the man off. "That's close enough. You can see it just fine from there."

Kabuto's eyebrows shot up, and he stopped a foot away. "What exactly has Sasuke been telling you about me? I'm a healer. I have saved his life more times than I can count, not that he has ever been appreciative of my efforts. He's even more ungrateful than Itachi, who to this day expects me to come running any time he accidentally damages his brother too much. They really are a pair, the two of them. As for your gruesome trophy there, I can assure you Kimimaru had nothing to do with that. And Frankenstein?" He scoffed, eyeing Naruto with open contempt. "You obviously have never met a mutant with an earth affinity. You can tell your fox demon that his nose is confusing him. There is absolutely nothing unnatural about Kimimaru. He is the way he was born to be."

A cold chill shot down Naruto's back. 'How does he know about you?'

'He's lying,' Kyuubi growled, his tails lashing. 'That mutant is as unnatural as they come. Don't believe a word he says. About anything.'

'Yeah,' Naruto agreed. He couldn't help wondering, though. If Kabuto was the one who had healed Sasuke after all those attacks in his notebook, and he was now Itachi's enemy, then why hadn't they joined forces against Itachi?

'Because he's working for the snake now,' Kyuubi reminded him. 'Snake. Venom. Hallucinations?'

Naruto forcefully silenced the rest of his lingering doubts. He glared at the man and turned the bag so the open mouth of the snake-like head was clearly visible. "So you're saying you guys had nothing to do with this?"

"That depends on what it is," Kabuto said, as if that should have been obvious. He held out a hand. "May I see it?"

'He might destroy the evidence,' Naruto worried quickly. 'Do we need it for anything?'

'It's useless,' Kyuubi admitted. He wouldn't have let it leave the house with a clone had it been worth saving. 'Even if we knew how to make an antivenom, any drops of venom we got from it would just turn to dust the second it's away from the rest of the head. Don't get within touching distance of him, though.'

Naruto tossed the bag, watching suspiciously as Kabuto peeled the plastic back. The man swiped a finger over the frayed neck, cutting it somehow despite his lack of claws. The piece immediately dried up. He crumbled the bit of dirt between his fingers and raised his hand to his mouth. Naruto grimaced, fighting not to warn the guy about the venom. If he was a bad guy, as Sasuke insisted he was, then he deserved to be poisoned. And he probably was a bad guy, because no good guy would taste dirt that used to be the neck of a snake-lizard thing.

'It's just dirt,' Kyuubi scoffed, amused by the disgust Naruto was suffering.

'It's gross as hell,' Naruto insisted. He kept his attention on Kabuto's face, watching for any sign that he might be behind the attack after all. "Well?" he prodded. "Do you know what it is?"

Kabuto's eyes flicked up, dark amusement flickering in them for a moment before the light hid them from sight. "Bad art?" He closed the bag, rocking the head back and forth on his palm. "I take it the rest of this thing exploded? If so, you can assure Sasuke it had nothing to do with us. That's the handiwork of one of Itachi's many enemies, a young mutant by the name of Deidara. Rumor has it that he had an encounter with Itachi just last week. Itachi has a bad habit of leaving him alive."

"It didn't explode," Naruto said sharply. "It's poisonous. And I know there aren't any new mutants around here, so don't try and tell me someone else is the one who-" Kabuto moved too suddenly for him to react. The man grabbed the front of his shirt, looking so shocked and panicky that there was no way he was faking it.

"Did it bite Sasuke?" Kabuto demanded. He didn't give Naruto a chance to respond. "Of course it did. He would have destroyed what was left of it, otherwise." He released him, crushing the snake head in his palm and dropping the bag of clay in disgust. "You should have told me immediately. How could you waste time with stupid questions when he's out there alone and out of his mind? If Sasori is involved in this, too, then one of his damned puppets could kill him before we can even find him!"

Kabuto turned on his heel, furious enough to kill the boy if he had to look at him for another second. He should have known something like this would happen. Things had been going too smoothly. He had warned Orochimaru he would regret having introduced Deidara and Sasori to each other. Those two would be a thorn in everyone's side for as long as they lived. Neither of them could handle rejection and Itachi obviously enjoyed Deidara's attacks too much to just get rid of him already. At least this would be the last straw. If Sasuke died because of this, then Itachi wouldn't hesitate to kill both of them. But how the hell had Sasuke gotten out of that house without Kimimaru noticing? They should have known the second he took off. They had been expecting him to run at some point, because he always did, and Kimimaru should have been in place to catch him immediately. If he had found a way to run without being detected then he could be anywhere by now.

"Sasuke's safe," Naruto called out quietly. There was no question in his mind now that the guy really had nothing to do with the attack. Even Kyuubi was convinced of that much, though he continued to warn Naruto against dropping his guard.

Kabuto froze in his tracks. He closed his eyes and reminded himself of all the reasons Uzumaki Naruto was more useful alive than dead. Not the least of which was that he was currently the main thing keeping Sasuke from running. If he killed the boy now, then Sasuke would be on the run by tomorrow. Then he would have to find, catch, and keep him until Itachi showed up. And deal with Itachi's annoyance when he found out about it. Having Itachi seek him out the moment he arrived definitely wasn't part of the plan. If he had his way, Itachi wouldn't even realize they were here until it was too late. He rubbed a hand over his temple. Everything had been so much simpler back when Orochimaru had left the planning of these things to him. He swore the man was going senile in his old age. Much more of this and he would join the Black Order and set his talents to the future rather than the present. At least they knew how to reward their people. Orochimaru was nearly as bad at showing gratitude as Itachi was.

He heaved a sigh at all the suffering he put up with. Then he turned and went back to the boy, a relieved smile spreading over his lips. By the time he reached Naruto, he was as harmless as could be. Outwardly, anyway. "Thank goodness. Was it a hallucinogen, then? Or a poison? If it was venom or poison, I'm sure Sasuke's immunity will take care of it quickly. He has already been dosed with the best drug available to handle problems like that. I should know, since I designed it myself. If it was a hallucinogen, then it should wear off on its own. It would depend on how many times he was bitten. What are his symptoms? Clammy skin, shortness of breath? Neither Sasori nor Deidara is very good with drugs, so I doubt it's an original creation of theirs. I would be very surprised if there are any side effects Iruka can't handle. But if there are, tell him to call the hospital in the morning and ask for Yakushi-sensei. I'd be more than happy to proscribe anything he might need. I know how much Sasuke hates hospitals."

Naruto shook his head, "Sasuke is just fine." He wouldn't have told him even if there had been symptoms, and he certainly wouldn't have Iruka contact him. Just because the guy wasn't behind the attack didn't mean he could trust him. "Tell me about the mutants you think sent the thing. Where would they be now?"

"They could be anywhere," Kabuto shrugged. "Sasori uses puppets, robots, corpses sometimes but not as much. He would have to be close by to control a zombie without it stinking the place up. With inanimate puppets, distance isn't really an issue. He's probably in a plane or boat, close enough to maintain contact but not close enough to be detected himself." He prodded the plastic bag of clay with the toe of his shoe. "Deidara definitely isn't here. He probably designed that and left it with Sasori in case his attack on Itachi failed. Deidara should still be in Vermont right about now, licking his wounds. I can't imagine what he was hoping to achieve with this. Drugs aren't his style. It was no doubt Sasori's idea. He has never cared for the way people tiptoe around Itachi. He might have even thought he would be doing us a favor by getting rid of Sasuke. He hasn't been in the loop in a long time," he smiled apologetically. "Rest assured, we don't want Sasuke dead. I'll send Kimimaru to take care of whatever puppet Sasori has hidden in the mountains." He knew it would be in the mountains because that was where Sasuke was most likely to flee. It was pathetic how predictable he was. "I promise, you won't have any more trouble from him."

"Does this Sasori guy work for you?" Naruto demanded.

Kabuto's eyes widened and he laughed. There was another reason not to kill the fox demon's host. He was funny. "No one works for me." The very idea was ridiculous. "Didn't Sasuke tell you anything? I'm a freelance healer. I work for anyone who needs my talents. At the moment I'm working for Orochimaru. If something happens to Sasuke, Itachi will call me to heal his brother and I'll be working for him. If Orochimaru and Itachi decided to face off and they both survived the encounter, I would heal them both. It's all the same to me."

"You...play both sides, then?" Naruto frowned, more than a little confused. He didn't think he was lying. Yet Sasuke definitely considered him the enemy, so...

"I play whatever side interests me at any given moment," Kabuto shrugged. "As for Sasori, he's not on anyone's side these days except Deidara's. Sasori was working for Orochimaru at one point, until he was replaced by Itachi." His eyes narrowed with mirth at Naruto's shocked expression. "You had no idea they were allies in the past, did you? Sasuke never did try very hard to understand the situation he was caught up in. Anyway, Sasori has held a grudge against Itachi ever since. That doesn't make him our ally. Orochimaru certainly won't look kindly on him for endangering Sasuke. He has as much invested in him as Itachi does."

Naruto jumped on that, Kyuubi pushing so close that his eyes flashed red. "What do you mean? What does he want with Sasuke?"

"The same thing as everyone else," Kabuto shrugged. It wasn't as if anyone had ever made a secret of it. "He wants the sharingan, of course. Sasuke's eyes aren't fully developed yet, but it's only a matter of time. Unfortunately most people aren't willing to wait, so they go after Sasuke now and Itachi kills them. Or they target Itachi himself and he kills them." Even Orochimaru didn't have the patience to wait. If he hadn't been so eager to sink his teeth into Sasuke while he was still young and defenseless, Itachi might never have turned against him. Instead of leaving Itachi alone and having a chance to get both someday, he had basically ensured that he would never get either. Not that Orochimaru would ever listen to him on the matter. He sighed, "It's all very stupid, if you ask me. The sharingan isn't the only talent that can copy others, and it certainly isn't the most powerful talent to have. But I just work for people. I can't make them take my advice. Believe me, I've tried."

"Are you going to try to kill Itachi when he comes, then?" asked Naruto. Suddenly that possibility scared him. He was so conflicted he didn't know what to think. He wanted Itachi dead for everything he had done to Sasuke. But if Itachi was the only thing keeping more people from targeting Sasuke, then they needed him alive. Or would killing Itachi mean those people had no reason to go after Sasuke at all? Did they have to kill someone to take his talent? Kakashi and Sasuke both copied talents simply by touch or sight. So...

'I think he means taking the eyes themselves,' said Kyuubi. 'Or having someone with the eyes use them to pass the talent along. Sasuke said his brother gave the eyes to him, so maybe he could give them to anyone.'

Kabuto snorted. "I won't be going near Itachi unless something happens to Sasuke, and Itachi sends for me to heal him. Kimimaru is here because Orochimaru would like Itachi dead. He may make an attempt to kill Itachi. I'm not that suicidal. Frankly, I don't think anyone will ever kill Itachi except Sasuke, because he's the one Itachi wants to be killed by. And it will be years before Sasuke is strong enough to manage that, assuming he lives that long."

"But if this Kimimaru guy does kill him?" asked Naruto.

Kabuto dropped his eyes, smiling at the thought. Orochimaru would insist on coming to collect Sasuke himself. He would probably empty the house while he was at it. It would be nice to have Iruka around again, and he had always wanted the chance to study the genetics of a true second-generation mutant like Naruto. He would get what was left of Itachi and with the sharingan at his disposal, he might even be able to extract the fox without killing his host. But then he would be expected to plant the fox into Orochimaru's new body and what a waste that would be. He shook his head. It was just as well Kimimaru didn't have a chance in hell of killing Itachi. Orochimaru would reap all of the benefits and having gotten his way, yet again, he would be truly insufferable to have to live with.

"Don't count on that happening," Kabuto said, as he turned back for the house. He had an early shift at the hospital in a few hours. He would send Kimimaru after Sasori's puppet before turning in. "But if by some strange chance it does happen, run away. Run as far away from Sasuke as you can get. Take anyone you care about with you."

.-.

Iruka was wallowing in self pity by the time he closed his bedroom door behind him. He was a failure as a parent and a pathetic excuse for a mutant. He didn't know what to say to protect Naruto emotionally, and he couldn't do anything at all to protect Sasuke physically. He was utterly useless in this situation. He leaned against the door, closed his eyes tight, and let out a miserable whine in the back of his throat.

"Well," Kakashi drawled, "that is definitely not the reaction I was hoping for."

His whine turned into a groan, and he pushed away from the door sluggishly. "What are you doing in here?" he grumbled. "I thought you were done with this-" He blinked and his brain stopped working.

"Done?" Kakashi smiled, taking pity on the poor man. "Iruka, I haven't even gotten started yet."

Iruka stumbled back so his head thumped against the door. That kick-started his brain, just a little. Kakashi had the worst possible timing in the history of the world. With everything that was happening, he couldn't possibly... How could he even think about... Why... He... Iruka whined again, his eyes scrunching but not closing the way he wished they would. "You're..."

"Very tenacious?"

"Naked," Iruka whimpered.

"Yes, I am," Kakashi agreed. He stretched out more comfortably on the soft bed. "It's nice of you to notice."

Iruka finally put his hands over his burning eyes. If he couldn't tear them away, he would just cover the traitorous things up. What was wrong with him? How could he even be tempted at a time like this? But...those legs...abs...ass...and his... He smacked his hands against his eyes. Even with them closed now, the sight wouldn't go away. In his bed. Kakashi was... "Naked," he choked out. The image burned onto his brain would never go away. It was so very wrong. Crazy. No, this couldn't be happening. Nope, not real. Kakashi wasn't naked. That was just silly. He turned around and groped for the doorknob. "I'm going downstairs for a while. When I come back up my room will be empty and we'll both pretend this never happened."

A very solid warmth pressed all along the length of his back. Iruka whimpered again. His entire body felt like it was shaking and he didn't know if he was about to burst into tears or hysterical laughter. He gave up on the doorknob and slumped against the door, thumping his forehead on it. "You're insane," he whispered. It wasn't fair. "Please don't play this joke on me. Not right now. The timing-"

"Is always wrong," Kakashi murmured. "I know." He slipped an arm around Iruka's waist, letting his weight press him gently against the door as he nuzzled his neck. His free arm quietly pressed the new bolt he had installed on the door into place. Iruka didn't look like he would be finding the doorknob tonight, but he wasn't taking any chances.

"It is," Iruka insisted. "It really is." He knew that. He was worried sick about the kids. To even think about sex at a time like this was shameful. Indecent... He tilted his head to bare more of his neck to Kakashi's hot tongue. It was too shameful and indecent to even consider. He knew that. He really did. "There's so much going on right now."

"There always is," Kakashi agreed. "I know." He slid his hands up under Iruka's shirt to rub his thumbs over Iruka's nipples. Iruka melted with a liquid mewl that had him grinning against the man's neck. He had known his nipples would be sensitive. That explained Iruka's own fascination with them. He rubbed and plucked at them until Iruka was rocking back against him, one arm reaching up to catch in his hair. His mouth was tugged closer to Iruka's ear, and he obliged him by licking and nipping his earlobe.

"I'll hate myself tomorrow," Iruka groaned. He wanted to hate himself now. He was trying his best to, but he just couldn't seem to manage it. His free hand reached back until his palm was pressed tight against one of those muscular thighs. What the hell did Kakashi do to get that toned? It was so hard he just knew that if he nipped him there he wouldn't get so much as a pinch of skin between his teeth. "I'll never stop blushing."

Kakashi hissed as Iruka's hand shifted to rub something nearly as hard as his thigh. "I like it when you blush," he assured him, as he reached down to return the favor. "Do you want to do this here or in the bed?"

"Bed," Iruka panted, his eyes opening to stare at the blury door his forehead was pressed against. "That way I'll have time to come to my senses and stop us before-" He was turned and pushed back against the door so suddenly his breath escaped in a huff. And he found his lowered eyes falling on the very thing he had just been stroking. Then Kakashi's mismatched eyes were right in front of him, a smile curving his lips. He licked his own lips, not knowing which temptation he wanted to taste more.

"As if I'd give you time to think," Kakashi laughed quietly. Iruka's hands caught in his hair and he let himself be pulled into a roving kiss. He pushed Iruka's pants down enough so that he could stroke them both at the same time, his other hand rising to play with one of those peaked nipples. He tweaked and tugged on the nub until Iruka was squirming, leaning harder against the door. Finally the man nipped his tongue with his teeth and pulled his head back. Those lips were moist and hungry-looking, but they were pulled down into a definite frown. Kakashi steeled himself to ignore any rationalizations Iruka might have just come up with. He had played Iruka's game long enough. Tonight it was his game and he wasn't going listen to a single protest from that mouth when Iruka's hips were still rocking into his hand.

Kakashi's hands were sinfully skilled, and the feel of his erection pressed tight against his own made him both nervous and eager as hell. But he couldn't let himself be distracted by that. Kakashi's fingers were torturing his nipple mercilessly and he wouldn't stand for it. He wasn't about to do anything he didn't like and Kakashi had better understand that right now. He forced himself to stop staring at Kakashi's mouth and frown at him properly. "If you keep playing with my nipple like that, it'll hurt."

Kakashi's eyebrows shot up in surprise and amusement. "Surely they're not that sensitive."

"They are," Iruka insisted, his own eyebrows dropping into a glower.

He didn't dare laugh at that belligerent expression, but he couldn't stop himself from smiling. Iruka clearly knew what he liked, and had no trouble speaking up about things he didn't like. Kakashi liked that. It didn't hurt that Iruka's frown looked more like a pout than anything. He left off stroking him long enough to rid Iruka of his shirt. Then he flattened his palms over his nipples, rubbing softly. Iruka's eyes closed, that frown melting away. "I'll be more gentle with them," he promised. He lowered his head to lap at the abused nipple, causing Iruka to shiver and push his hips out. He obliged him with steady strokes, his fingers curling and pulling enough to keep him on edge without sending him over. It was just as well he wasn't touching himself anymore. It had been far too long, and he had no intention of ending this until Iruka was thoroughly ravished. The man deserved it for being such an awful tease.

"Good," Iruka huffed, pleased to have gotten his way. Good didn't begin to describe what Kakashi was doing to him, though. It really wasn't fair at all. He wanted to taste him, too, but now he couldn't even reach his mouth, let alone the rest of him. He rubbed his face in that shock of soft pale hair, and then his eyes caught on the hand Kakashi was rubbing over his chest. Kakashi did have such good hands. He was suddenly burning with jealousy at everyone Kakashi had practiced on with those hands. There was simply no getting around it. The man was a slut. But he wouldn't be thinking about anyone else tonight, if Iruka had his way. He ducked his head so his tongue flicked his fingertip. Kakashi looked up at him through his hair, and the sight of his tongue running along his nipple made him all the more determined to get some for himself. He caught Kakashi's wrist and lifted his hand to his mouth. He ran his tongue over the pad of Kakashi's thumb, then down to tickle across his palm before sliding up the next finger. Kakashi fought with his hands. It was no wonder he had such a refined sense of touch.

Kakashi groaned, unable to tear his eyes away. His fingers were tingling, nerves awakening all over his body. The sight of Iruka's tongue sliding between his fingers, those dark hungry eyes holding his own, was more than he could take. "Iruka..."

"Yes," Iruka confirmed, smiling with satisfaction. He shouldn't have doubted himself. It was his body Kakashi was lavishing pleasure on. Of course he wasn't thinking of anyone else. He closed his eyes and took Kakashi's forefinger into his mouth, cupping it with his tongue. He didn't have to look to know how much he enjoyed it. He could hear his breath catch, and felt the hot exhalation on his damp skin. He continued to make love to his hand until Kakashi tugged it away, replacing it with a kiss every bit as needy as their first. Iruka smiled into his mouth as he was pushed hard against the door, that damp hand clamping tight on his ass. Who was ready to explode now? He let Kakashi plunder his mouth, and then caught his eyes when he finally pulled away enough to glower at him. "How long has it been?"

"I was about to ask you that," Kakashi muttered. He was sure that if he let Iruka have his way, he would be completely undone before he had a chance to properly molest the man. In fact, he would probably be bending over and offering his own ass to him before he even remembered that wasn't part of the plan. He pressed a damp finger into him, watching the way his face pinched as he rose on his toes, just a little, in an instinctive bid to get away from the intrusion. He swept his tongue along Iruka's pursed lips. "How long has it been?"

"Years," Iruka hissed, "Forever." He spread his legs a little more and leaned against the door, trying not to squirm when Kakashi added a second finger to stretch him. He had such long limber fingers. They moved every bit as carefully inside him as they had against his tongue. But that really wasn't the issue here at all. Kakashi tried to catch his eyes, but he ducked his head to lick a path along Kakashi's jaw. He had such a well defined face when it wasn't hidden away by that mask of his. His hand reached down to stroke what they were pressed too close for him to see. "You're bigger," he groaned, arching as Kakashi thrust his fingers deeper. There really was no comparing Kakashi to the last person he had been with. Not that he wanted to. He didn't even want to think about anyone but Kakashi right now. That didn't change the facts. "Maybe too big."

"You shouldn't flatter me so much," Kakashi warned him. "I'll get a big head."

Iruka shook his head, pressing his face into Kakashi's neck. "It's already big." That was what he had been trying to explain. He could feel that much. He ran his thumb along the tip, smearing the moisture there. "I saw it." The image would never go away. Kakashi stretched out on his bed, his pale skin gleaming against the cover, all long and limber and toned, every bit of him. And this already standing tall and proud, he was such a shameless man, he really was. Just the sight of it had torn him in half, wanting to run away and wanting to grab it, get a good feel just like he was now, and see how much of it he could take. Frankly, he had doubts, and if he had to explain them, then he would be the one thinking about someone else while he had his hands all over Kakashi. That wouldn't be fair to Kakashi, and it wouldn't be much fun for him, either.

"I saw you see it," Kakashi drawled. He nipped at Iruka's ear and nuzzled when he quickly gave him more access to the spot. He thrust his fingers as deep as he could, enjoying the way Iruka shuddered and gasped into his neck. He wasn't as loud as he would have liked, but his reactions were honest and uninhibited. The fingers petting him eagerly told him just how much he enjoyed it. "You looked as if you had walked into a brick wall."

"No, it's not that hard." It was actually quite soft and silky until he curled his fingers all the way around and squeezed. He pulled, dragging his name from Kakashi's lips. He would never get enough of the way Kakashi drew his name out, the last bit coming as a reproachful panting moan. As if Kakashi wasn't just as bad, pushing so hard it seemed he wanted to fit his entire hand inside him. He leaned his shoulders against the door, taking some of his weight off Kakashi. His legs felt shaky and he wasn't sure how much longer they would last. "Bed?"

"We'll get there," Kakashi promised. By the time they did, Iruka would be so far gone there wouldn't be a chance of him coming to his senses as he had threatened a little while ago. Besides, he had a favor to return. The first time they had kissed, he had found himself thrown against his door and ravished. He fully intended to return that with interest, quite a bit of interest. And unlike Iruka, he wouldn't stop until they had both gotten their fill.

He lifted Iruka's hand, licking the fingers in thanks for the unnecessary but well appreciated attention. Then he eased his way down until he was on his knees before him. While he appreciated the way Iruka had gone on about his size, because it was both amusing and very flattering, he didn't see why he would. There wasn't much difference between them. Iruka certainly didn't have anything to feel inferior about. He took a long sliding taste, his fingers twisting to rub and push so that Iruka was straining up on his toes again. He had come downstairs barefoot earlier and his toes were curling along the smooth floor. His pants were also down around his ankles, keeping his legs from spreading too far. Kakashi considered helping him kick them away, but decided against it. He rather liked having him hobbled, and so tight he was already throbbing with anticipation. He would have him spread out on the bed later. For now he liked having him cornered and confined. Flustered and panting, too. He spared a glance up at him and smirked at how wide his mouth and eyes were. He had him stunned, speechless even. He bobbed his head, his fingers moving in slow steady thrusts that had Iruka rocking his hips in time with his movements.

Iruka finally closed his eyes, tilting his back against the door. He was supposed to be the one doing that, not Kakashi. Leave it to Kakashi to play by his own rules. And he was so very good at the game, too. He curled his fingers in Kakashi's hair. It was thick and fluffy, standing up like a flopsided brush. He did like his hair, but there were so many other parts of him he wanted to touch and he couldn't reach any of them like this. It was horribly unfair, yet he was enjoying himself too much to complain. Kakashi was nearly as good with his mouth as he was with his hands. His free hand was massaging the small of his back, working down his thigh, and he knew he should make him stop that because it made him feel as if his muscles were being reduced to mush and he was already worried about his legs giving out. They should have been in bed for this. Who did things like this standing up? And how long did Kakashi expect him to hold out? He couldn't remember the last time someone had touched him like this. Except that wasn't right, either. As far as he knew no one had ever gone down on him at all. He was always the one who did that. He should have been the one doing it now. Kakashi couldn't possibly call out his name when his lips were wrapped tightly around him, his hot mouth determined to suck the life right out of him. He tugged on Kakashi's hair until he relented enough to look up at him. For a long moment Iruka was too caught up in staring at that sinful mouth of his to remember what he had wanted to say. Kakashi brought his attention back with a hard thrust of his fingers, bringing him up on his toes and causing his head to jerk back against the door. He gasped, licked his lips, and forced himself to say it before it was too late. "You have to stop now. I'll come if you don't."

"Ah," Kakashi acknowledged. He was well aware of how close Iruka was. He could feel it in the way he trembled, how he clutched at his fingers each time he pushed them all the way in. Then there were the sounds. Iruka wasn't being at all quiet now, though he wouldn't be the one to point it out. Nobody would hear him except him, anyway. He curled his free hand around Iruka's erection, running his thumb gently over the tip as he caught his dazed eyes. "If you come now, I won't have to move to the bedstand to get lube." As tightly wound as Iruka was, he was bound to come quite a bit. Iruka shook his head at him, the tail of his hair wisping against the door. Kakashi reminded himself to undo that tail before he took him to the bed.

"My legs won't hold up," Iruka said quickly. He didn't want to fall partway through and be forced to finish up on the floor. "And you have to use lube. I don't like it to hurt." Kakashi was much too big. He was already worried that he wouldn't be able to take him all. He held his breath as Kakashi's fingers eased out of him, leaving him feeling both bereft and sorely misused. Just his fingers made him ache and burn. Hewould never be able to take him without a proper lubricant. He didn't notice that Kakashi had stood up until his mouth was taken in a heavy kiss that made his knees feel weaker than ever. His face flamed as he realized he was tasting himself on Kakashi's tongue. It made him want to apologize and that had to be the most ridiculous thought that had passed through his mind all night. He might apologize for not being willing to take him dry and standing up, but he wasn't about to apologize for the way he tasted. He certainly hadn't told Kakashi to go down on him. Kakashi had decided to do that all on his own.

Kakashi pulled the band out of Iruka's hair and combed it with his fingers as they kissed. Iruka wasn't being nearly as bold in returning the kiss as he had expected. He was also blushing. As much as Kakashi enjoyed those blushes, he wasn't about to let Iruka think himself into another retreat. They had gone much too far for that. He leaned down to pick him up and then quickly kissed him again before he could say a word. He felt Iruka shift his legs so that his pants slipped free to the floor. That told him the blush wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Was he about to turn shy on him, then? It was far too late for that, too. He took him to the bed and immediately covered him, not giving him a moment to catch his bearings. His hand fisted in that thick hair, which felt every bit as good as he had known it would, and he attacked Iruka's neck with tongue and teeth. He didn't bother to leave marks, knowing Iruka would simply heal them away the moment he noticed them. Judging by the throaty moan he gave, he wouldn't be forgetting the feel of it any time soon. He pressed hard against him, crushing him into the bed, once again stroking them together. Iruka's head tossed as he wrapped his arms around his back and shoulders, pushing up just as hard. He nipped his earlobe and then murmured into his ear. "Iruka..."

"Yes..."

Kakashi grinned at the sheer pleasure audible in that breathy voice. "You like hearing me say your name, don't you," he murmured.

"Very much," Iruka moaned. He spread his legs wider and reached an arm down so he could pull Kakashi's hips harder into him. Even his ass was so toned it was ridiculous. He squeezed and kneaded the muscles, enjoying the feel of it, until Kakashi panted his name again.

"I'd like a little of the same," Kakashi admitted, as he eased up enough to slick himself with the little tube he had set aside earlier. He leaned down to lap at one of Iruka's nipples, and Iruka tugged on his hair, encouraging him to give both equal treatment. He eased two of his slippery fingers inside him and they were squeezed tightly, telling him it was an unnecessary but very welcome touch. No, he realized, Iruka wasn't about to turn shy on him.

"I'm sorry," Iruka gasped, "Ka-" He choked as Kakashi rubbed hard in just the right spot, panting as he came down again. "Kakashi..." He hadn't been intentionally depriving him of that. It was just so hard to get his name out without stuttering horribly. He wasn't used to talking at all during sex. Just getting his name from Kakashi's lips was such a heady rush. Kakashi pulled his fingers out and pressed against him. Iruka's eyes flashed open, and he tugged urgently on Kakashi's hair until he looked up at him. "Don't be too rough to start with," he said quickly. "I don't like it to-"

"I know," Kakashi smiled. He kissed him softly, admiring how nice his hair looked spread over the pillow beneath him. Iruka's expression was so earnest he couldn't help but kiss him again. "I have absolutely no intention of hurting you," he assured him. "Unless you ask me to." Iruka's eyes widened, his mouth dropping open in surprise. Then he laughed and Kakashi ducked down to taste his smile.

Iruka wrapped his arms tightly around him, pulling him close so he could duck his head into the crook of his shoulder. Kakashi pushed in and he clung to him for dear life. It was a strain, as he had known it would be, but it felt so good he was hard pressed to remember why urging him to move faster would be a bad thing. He was almost being too gentle. He told himself that he would be grateful later that Kakashi was starting as slowly as he had asked. Right now he wished he had kept his big mouth shut. Kakashi slid an arm under his hips, lifting him just a little, and then he was all the way in. Iruka shuddered, choking out his name in a stutter that was every bit as pathetic sounding as he had feared it would be. Kakashi couldn't have minded because he groaned his name into his ear in a hoarse voice that told him exactly how good it felt for him. But he didn't move. He stayed right there, buried and throbbing inside him. Iruka found himself kissing Kakashi's neck, his shoulder, everything he could reach, and pulling on his back as he rocked his own hips. Finally he whimpered in frustration right into his ear. "Damn it, Kakashi, move...!"

"Quit hiding your face from me and I will," Kakashi shot back, feeling every bit as frustrated as Iruka sounded. Did Iruka think it was easy to wait him out when he was writhing against him like that? Iruka's head dropped back against the pillow. He took one look at the man's pouting lips and broke into a grin. Iruka couldn't possibly look that annoyed with him if he were hurt. If anything, he looked like he wanted to do a little hurting himself. "Are you done hiding?"

"I wasn't hiding," Iruka snapped. He had been, of course, but it was very rude of Kakashi to call him on it. "If you don't move, right now, I'm going to flip you on your back and take over."

"I think you're bluffing," Kakashi drawled. His throat was so tight that his voice came out shaky and hoarse, but the taunt got the reaction he expected. Iruka quirked an eyebrow at him, his lips turning down even further. Kakashi gave in, ducking down to kiss him senseless as he finally started to move. At least his intention had been to ravage him. As Iruka's tongue thrust into his mouth and a strong hand caught his hair, holding him in place, he wasn't sure who was ravaging whom. Oddly enough, he didn't care. He even decided he would give Iruka a chance to flip them over and have a ride later, since he was so eager to prove himself. It would be hours before he let him sleep.

.-.

Sai was ambushed the moment he stepped out the front door. He had been afraid that might happen. Nothing was going according to plan and it was all Naruto's fault. He seemed to have a driving instinct to stick his nose into the business of everyone around him. If he hadn't been a wild card, he might have made a fine recorder for the Order.

"Where do you think you're going?" Naruto asked, his arms folded over his chest. They had been in charge of watching the front of the house, and Kyuubi had noticed the moment Sai headed for the front door. Naruto had already decided he didn't like the guy, so it was only natural to distrust him as well.

"The team here is going to the airport now," Sai told him. "Uchiha is due the day after tomorrow, so they have to be long gone before he gets here. I'm going to see them off." Naruto's eyes widened, and he nodded politely to him before continuing down the walk.

Whether Naruto had the good sense to pass that warning along to Sasuke or not, it was the closest he could come to direct interference. He had warned his director that Kakashi was on to them, but the man refused to budge. His mission was to report the changes the wild cards had on their predictions, and to protect them from Uchiha if he showed any interest in them when he arrived. He wasn't to do anything else. There was no such thing as controlling the future where Uchiha was involved. Even if he did directly interfere to get Sasuke out of the house now, it wouldn't guarantee that their predictions came true. Naruto had already begun to change things.

Sai had never questioned an order before. But he had never been in direct contact with wild cards before, either. Except Uchiha, of course. Although he wasn't officially considered a wild card, he had as much influence on mutants and events as any of the wild cards did. The only difference was that they had insight into his actions via Sasuke. Without the sharingan activated, Sasuke was as readable as any human. He was their access to Uchiha. Their only access. He would remind Tiedoll of that before the team left. Tiedoll had more influence on the director than he did, and he would know his opinion wasn't based on his personal involvement in the case. He certainly wouldn't accuse him of being intimidated by Hatake Kakashi.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Naruto was pretending. Kyuubi had woken him up the moment the clone assigned to the front of the house had offed himself in order to relay the deadline. At first Naruto had panicked, and Kyuubi had raged, but both quickly realized that was a waste of time. Now Kyuubi was napping while Naruto played inside his head. They didn't know how they would feel once they had the memories of multiple clones having been awake all night. Naruto figured since the clones took energy, it was Kyuubi who would feel the most tired later. He didn't need his fox's commentary for this, anyway. Kyuubi either couldn't or simply refused to experiment with his energy, so that left it entirely up to him to figure something out. He used his imagination for that.

He set up a full length mirror and then pictured his energy the way he had described it to Iruka. He saw it immediately. It was thicker than he had imagined it before because he figured he had underestimated himself when he said it would only be a few inches thick. He ran his fingers through it, right over his arm, and tried to pretend he could feel it. That didn't work at all, for some reason. He could see it waft around his fingers, though. The front-yard clone had been trying to shield earlier. He tried that on his right arm now, watching the energy thicken up and darken in the spot, while the rest of the energy around his body grew a bit thinner. He pushed it down, focusing it on his hand, and tightened it up. It looked nice and solid, but when he tried touching it his hand went right through it. He guessed he just wasn't very good at imagining sensations. He had felt the heat from Kyuubi's fire that time, and the water he had tried to extinguish it with. He could feel his arm, too, just like normal. But he couldn't feel his energy. Maybe that was a good thing. He didn't have to worry about that burning sensation he usually got when he tried to make his energy move deliberately.

He curled the dark hand into a claw and yanked at the energy over his left arm. His fingers snagged and then ripped a wad of it away like cotton. He cringed at that. It looked painful. He might not feel anything in here, but he was sure that if he managed to do that outside of his head, then it would hurt like a son of a bitch. He quickly patted the wad back in place, relieved when it smoothed out. He was also relieved that Kyuubi hadn't been awake to see that. He would probably have made fun of him. He curved his hand and tried pressing the energy down, lightly, and pushing some of it toward his wrist as if his whole arm was a tube of liquid. The energy caught at his wrist, bunching up there like a lumpy boil. He wondered if it would pop and spill on the floor, the way Iruka had described. The floor was clean since this was all in his head, but he didn't fancy the idea of trying to mop his energy up. He pressed very carefully until the blob of energy eased into his palm, and then pulled on it like putty so that it was stretched out a few inches past his fingers. It hung there, flopping when he waved his hand. Absolutely ridiculous looking. He couldn't help but grin. This was a lot harder than he had thought it would be.

He held his other hand flat, keeping the flap in a straight line as he shielded all over his hand. That hardened it up. At least, it looked harder, and it didn't flop when he moved it around. It wasn't sharp, though. He tried pinching the tip into a point, but the energy bounced back into a rounded edge the second he took his fingers off it. There was no way he could puncture the bubble with that. Hell, Kyuubi's claws were sharper than that and they hadn't worked. There had to be something he could use that would do the trick, though. Sasuke had used his energy to make his hand hard enough to punch into his stomach that time. That was just shielding, right? Or was that reinforcement? Was there a difference between the two? Naruto was fairly sure reinforcing just meant using even more energy. He eyed the mirror and imagined all of his energy flowing to his right hand, like a giant fist. Then he pulled it tight, making it darker and thinner until he looked almost normal except for a brownish orange glove. If it was just a matter of condensing energy, maybe he could punch right through the damned thing. Then again, Kyuubi had been going all out, blazing with energy, and he hadn't so much as cracked the bubble when he hit it.

Kakashi had used that electrical talent to pop the bubble when he was in it. Naruto closed his eyes, imagining his energy crackling all around him. He could even hear it. But when he opened his eyes he nearly fell over laughing at himself. Instead of the fiery snapping currents he had imagined, his energy was bubbling all over. It looked a lot more like water than fire now, or gel. Yes, it looked like gel with tiny air bubbles making their way from his skin, through the stuff, and out into the air. What was he going to do with energy like that? Splash it at the bubble and hope it had a corrosive effect? Suddenly it wasn't the slightest bit funny anymore.

He closed his eyes again. He needed something sharp enough to stab with, to puncture. They had tried scratching the bubble and it hadn't worked. Slicing didn't do the trick, so it had to be pointy and strong. Spikes, blades, a needle at the tip of his fist, anything sharp at all. He concentrated so hard that his brain hurt. He had a sudden image of himself as a pin cushion and went with that. Like the spiked ball on the end of a chain. Then he opened his eyes and sat down so hard he hurt himself. Tails. What was wrong with him? He imagined spikes and he got tails. They weren't even pointy tails, they were long and fat, and rounded at the tips. He had beaver tails wagging around above his head. He dropped his chin onto his hand and squinted at his reflection. There weren't even nine of them, just three fat beaver tails. And he would be damned if they weren't bubbly gel tails at that. He was obviously doing something wrong here.

Maybe he was just trying too hard. If all he needed was something sharp, he could grab a knife out of the kitchen. If he could get his energy to move around the blade, reinforce it the way Sasuke had done to that bandage that time, then he could put his full strength behind it and it wouldn't break. That might be enough to puncture the bubble.

He glared at the tails in the mirror until they shortened and finally went away altogether. It would be so much easier if he could con Kakashi into using the bubble on him. Then he could experiment ways to pop the thing. If he ended up getting stuck in there, then he wouldn't be able to do anything but send clones after Itachi. Even if they all managed to shield, they still wouldn't be able to take more than one or two hits. With a whole bunch of them, and Kyuubi using his energy from all over the place, they might be able to distract the guy or at least slow him down a little. If he was close by he could keep making them as fast as they were expelled. But he was pretty sure that wasn't how it would happen. Sasuke was going to stick him in the bubble the second he realized Itachi was here. Then Sasuke would lead Itachi away from the house and he would be stuck in the bubble with no idea where they had gone. He could send his clones after them immediately, but he wouldn't put it past Sasuke to dispatch them himself. Either way, it would be over without him being able to do anything.

Movement caught his eye, and he spotted Kyuubi padding toward him. The fox stopped behind him, dropping his head onto his shoulder to stare at him in the mirror. Naruto scowled when he saw his blush being reflected back at him. 'I guess you saw that last bit, huh?'

'I never thought of you as a beaver,' Kyuubi said, humming with amusement. 'I suppose any tails are better than none, though.'

'You're just saying that to be nice...'

'No,' Kyuubi admitted. 'I was making fun of you.'

Naruto groaned, burying his face in his hands. 'I don't know what to do.'

'Start by dispelling that clone so we can go to sleep holding our mate.'

'He'll be mad when he wakes up and finds out,' Naruto reminded him.

'I won't mind.'

'Yeah,' Naruto sighed, 'me, neither.'

.-.

Sai never made it back to the house before daybreak. He had spent an hour or two arguing his case, and might have continued for longer if the taxi hadn't arrived to take the team to the airport. He was then plucked off the street right in front of the hotel by a mutant he should never have had direct contact with. Was Naruto's meddling responsible for this, too? By the time he settled into a seat in the empty waiting room, he was resigned to the fact that he had utterly failed this mission.

He should never have been assigned a recording task. Not even Tiedoll would credit his observations, and he was the one who had taught him to record in the first place. The Order clearly didn't trust his ability to monitor the situation accurately. He could place some of the blame for that on Kanda, who had convinced the entire team that the little Uchiha was useless. Kanda's past involvement with Uchiha made him extremely biased, which was painfully obvious to Sai. But he didn't have the seniority to make even Tiedoll take that bias into account. Instead, he had been accused of letting his own bias sway his opinions. In short, Tiedoll had given him the same lecture he had just received from the director, to not let anyone in that house affect his course of action. What would Tiedoll say when he learned that it wasn't just the people in the house having an effect on things? He wondered if people were fired from the Order.

He decided to make the most of the situation. The Order had nothing on the mutant who had accosted him, and very little on Uchiha's pet healer. He would draw them both when he returned to the house. He would also do his own research into Hatake, since the director continued to insist he had no need to know. He had his own suspicions as it was.

His eyes glinted appreciatively when the healer entered the room. The man was furious. Even restrained as he was, his talents were as insidious as his motives. And he was no healer at all. He was a molder, or, to be crude about it, a butcher. It was suddenly obvious to him why Uchiha continued to seek him out. He had no doubt that the Order hadn't intended him to ever realize this, either. He had to wonder what else they were keeping from him. That was yet another mistake on their part. Had he been better informed, he would never have mentioned this man to Hatake, even in passing. He wondered what other things he had unwittingly mentioned to tip the man off.

"What was the Black Order hoping to achieve with this stunt?" Kabuto demanded testily. He kept his hands in the pockets of his lab coat so he wouldn't be tempted to act on his baser instincts. "Don't bother to lie. Sasori was very quick to defend himself." Kimimaru had still destroyed his puppet. Orochimaru didn't want Sasori back, not yet, and Kabuto certainly wasn't about to trust him not to interfere once Itachi arrived.

Sai didn't bother to defend the method the Order had chosen to use. It was too overly complicated for his tastes. Most of their plans were. "We wanted him out of the house."

"And into mine?"

"We knew you wouldn't let him leave. It seemed easier to simply to hand him to you."

Kabuto's eyes narrowed. "I don't want him." He could barely tolerate Sasuke under normal circumstances. Itachi had let him run rampant until he didn't have any redeeming qualities at all aside from his talent and his face, both of which he owed to his Uchiha blood. He would have had to keep him drugged the entire time, for his own sake, and Itachi would have known the moment he saw him. That was the entire point, of course. The Order had wanted him to babysit Sasuke so that Itachi would be angry with him the moment he arrived. It was so obvious they were trying to force a fight that they might as well have skipped the plotting and contacted Itachi directly to tell him exactly who would be waiting for him here. Then again, maybe they had already done that as well. "Sasuke wouldn't be set to leave at all if your group hadn't shown up to warn him."

"I believe that, technically, you warned him first. Our team wasn't able to make contact with Umino until after your call." Sai's eyes widened as the man shifted subtly. It was quite remarkable how well he controlled the lighting, using the reflective nature of his glasses to hide the promise of violence in his eyes.

"Let's get back to Sasori," Kabuto said quietly. "Were you hoping we would take him out in retaliation and save you the trouble?"

Sai shrugged. "That would have been nice, but we weren't counting on it. As I understand it, they chose him because he was convenient. He had motive, means, and a desire to prove his continued loyalty to Orochimaru."

Kabuto couldn't argue with that much. Sasori had a far-reaching talent that allowed him to remain undetected by most mutants. Even Itachi might not have noticed him. But Sasori also had a dependent relationship with Deidara, who was obsessed enough to make Itachi appear sane. The Order might have put the idea into Sasori's head, but it would take more than smooth words to convince Deidara. Itachi didn't consider Deidara's talent impressive enough to set him against Sasuke, and Deidara wouldn't be satisfied until he had proven otherwise. He would never get the chance if anything happened to Sasuke now. Kabuto could easily imagine him being involved in a flashy explosion, just close enough to Sasuke to get Itachi's attention and bring him running. But drugs weren't his style, and modeling a golem after one of Orochimaru's snakes was beneath him. Sasori was convinced Deidara had sent the creature to him, and that he was fully aware of the plan. Kabuto had his doubts about that. Deidara was just as likely to retaliate against Sasori for taking part in this stunt as they were, all orchestrated by the Order, of course.

He slowly cooled his temper. Itachi had told him all about this particular boy's talents. He would sooner believe he had created the thing, modeling it after Deidara's golems in order to fool Sasori, and Orochimaru's snakes in order to fool Sasuke. The one thing the Black Order excelled at was playing mutants off each other so they didn't have to get their hands dirty. Unfortunately for them, he was out of their league. He had spent his entire life around manipulators and considered himself on par with the best of them.

"And Deidara?" Kabuto inquired. " Was he intentionally directed to that research facility, or was that an unfortunate coincidence?"

"I don't know," Sai admitted. "I don't think we had anything to do with that. There were too many wild cards involved in that incident for us to see anything." As far as he knew, the Order wasn't aware that Deidara had even been there. There was at least one other mutant they were aware of who was capable of causing the sort of explosives that had taken the place down. If Kabuto thought Deidara had been responsible, then he would have to be sure to include that in his report. They had been aware that someone working for Orochimaru had infiltrated that facility, but not why or how the place had been breached. They had blamed most of that on Umino's presence there obscuring their visions, but if Deidara had been involved then maybe Itachi had as well. Was it possible there had been another meeting of S class mutants, with Umino right in the thick of it, and they hadn't even realized it? This meeting was turning out to be quite useful. Since the man was being so helpful, he supposed he should offer something in exchange. "I do believe the Order made an effort to include Deidara in their plans here, but they were unable to locate him due to his frequent proximity to Uchiha."

An open admission was more than Kabuto had expected. It was good to know that Deidara hadn't been involved in this plot with Sasori after all. Deidara was uncontrollable for the most part, but he didn't like to think that he might have misjudged him so badly. He did note, though, that Sai didn't take credit for creating the creature itself. That was a shame. He wasn't willing to offer any more information without knowing that the information Sai had to give in return was worth it.

Kabuto stared at him, taking in every aspect of his body language. Either Sai was lying about what had happened at that facility, or the Black Order wasn't as well informed as his sources said they were. He didn't appear experienced enough to lie to his face. Which meant they had no idea. That much was a relief. Orochimaru wasn't taking them seriously at the moment, so it had come as a rude shock to think they might be that many steps ahead. Although he considered their classification of strong mutants as 'wild cards' to be ridiculous, he had to concede that Deidara fit the bill. If Deidara hadn't been tipped off by the Order, then he must have realized on his own that Orochimaru and Itachi were both after the same prize. He had snatched it up beneath both of their noses, drawing Itachi straight to him. Itachi had it now, and if the Order was still unaware of that, then those little 'predictions' of theirs were going to be even further off than they realized. They were so focused on playing Orochimaru and Itachi off each other that they were missing the big picture entirely.

"Does the Order have any more surprises to spring here?" he asked, his eyebrow rising.

Sai raised his own eyebrows in surprise. "Would you expect me to tell you if they did?"

"If you'd like to live." He had been looking for an excuse to experiment on one of their people. Orochimaru would likely complain about him interfering with his plans for them, but it would be well worth it, especially if Sai had been the one to create that golem. Even if the boy hadn't created it himself, he would be able to give him the name of the person who had. Having someone with that ability could be very useful in his research. He was growing very tired of corpses, and Itachi wasn't leaving them much else to work with.

Sai smiled, pleased to have garnered an outright threat. "As far as I know, they have no more surprises in store. Now we have only to wait and see how things turn out."

"If things turn out the way you want, then your Order will be the next target on Itachi's list. You can be sure of that."

"No," Sai shook his head, "it isn't a question of what I want. The Order isn't interested in my opinion on the matter. I just work for them."

"Oh?" Kabuto gave a slow smile. "It seems we have something in common, then."

.-.

Kakashi had turned Iruka's alarm clock off last night, while lying in wait in his room. He was glad for the forethought when he entered the kitchen the next morning and found himself interrupting a huddle. Ino, Sakura, Lee, and Kiba were at the table, leaning in and whispering heatedly. Upon sight of him, they grew silent and stared. It wasn't until Akamaru put a paw over his head and Kiba dropped his eyes with a blush that Kakashi realized the gossip hadn't been about him. He promptly smiled and lifted a hand in greeting. "Morning."

Kiba didn't look up, telling him that the boy had sniffed him out just as the dog had. As long as he wasn't chatting about it with the others, Kakashi didn't mind that. The others were still staring at him, following him with their eyes so that the short walk to the coffee pot suddenly felt much longer. He ignored them until he had his cup, and then hopped onto one of the stools, leaning against the counter as he perused them. He had expected Ino or Lee to be the first to break, so he was surprised when Sakura was the one to speak up.

"Is this another misunderstanding?" she demanded. "Ino and I both heard what Naruto was screaming last night. You can't tell us they were just 'sparring' when it took both you and Iruka to break them up."

"I never took him for a biter," Kiba muttered. He kept his head down, his face still quite red.

"I still say there has to be a rational explanation," Ino said stubbornly. She scowled when Sakura rounded on her.

"I'm not saying there isn't," Sakura reminded her. "But the explanation Naruto gave is not cutting it, not this time." She promptly turned back to Kakashi, looking at him expectantly. "Well?"

Kakashi thought about it for a moment, and then offered, "Sasuke got hungry in the middle of the night and decided to snack on Naruto's hand?" They must not have liked that explanation, because both girls jumped to their feet, Ino snapping at him for defaming Sasuke and Sakura jumping on him for making light of the issue. He looked past them to the boys, noting that Lee was the only one of the kids who seemed to be taking this all quite calmly. That couldn't be good. He sighed and stood, forcing the girls to back up. "If you want to know, I suggest you ask them yourself. I know how much you ladies like your gossip," he smiled at the immediate denials, "but I think you're going about this all wrong. If you continue to jump to the worst possible conclusion, then neither of them will want anything to do with you." Not that Sasuke did, anyway. "I'm sure you have things that you haven't shared with them. And, if you don't, then you really need to consider getting lives of your own to entertain yourselves with."

Sakura took insult at that. "There's a difference between being nosy and being concerned!"

"Yes, there is," Kakashi agreed. "You can get back to me after you've learned the difference."

"I don't believe it was a domestic quarrel," Lee said suddenly, his calm tone cutting right through Sakura's gasp of outrage. "Perhaps it has something to do with Sai sneaking out last night."

Kiba winced, shooting him a pained look. "We weren't going to tattle, remember?"

"You said we shouldn't 'tattle' to Iruka," said Lee. "You never mentioned we should say nothing to Kakashi, either."

"Both are just as bad," Ino huffed at him. "Telling any adult is tattling, no matter how irresponsible he might be. Besides, Sai didn't actually sneak out since we were never given a strict curfew to begin with. And he certainly didn't sneak back in."

"Yeah," Kiba waved, "but you know he was doing something he wasn't supposed to or he wouldn't have been so rude when he came in."

"Not necessarily," Lee argued, his brows drawing together stubbornly. "Naruto specifically said that Sai was here to spy. Naturally a spy would need to report his findings. Whatever happened last night would surely be something worth reporting on. If he were merely doing what is expected of a spy, then there is no issue of 'tattling' at all."

"No, Lee," Ino said sharply, scowling at him when he continued to frown back at her. "It's still tattling. You're a tattle. Accept it so we can move on."

"Get off him," Kiba scowled. "At least he's finally grown a pair. I'd rather have him be a tattle than your stooge."

"I'm sure! What next, are you going to have him biting his nails and playing with the dog? I'll bet you'll have Shikamaru teaching him to pick his ears in public, too. Don't think I haven't noticed the way you've been trying to get him to hang out with you when I need his help around the kitchen. Just because you're a useless male doesn't mean he has to be!"

"You guys," Sakura groaned, "don't start on that again. We're supposed to be finding out what-" She glanced over and stiffened, going from pleading to dangerous in a snap. She caught Kakashi just as he was pushing through the door. "Hey! Where do you think you're going?"

Kakashi shrugged at her, "I have better things to do than listen to this. Finish making breakfast and try not to tear the house down while you're at it. Later, if you kids are feeling mature enough to behave yourselves, one of you can go up and ask your questions. Or you can stay down here and speculate and bicker until your mouths go dry. I honestly don't care which option you choose."

Their voices started up again the moment he was out the door. He shook his head. Iruka should have sat them all down and explained what Sai was doing here. Better yet, he should have had Sasuke explain what Sai was doing here. It was no wonder they were frothing at the mouths after hearing Naruto screaming at the top of his lungs about Sasuke chewing his fingers off. He didn't envy Naruto trying to explain away that one. And Sai was every bit the amateur he had thought he was if he couldn't even sneak back into the house without being caught. He tapped lightly on Naruto's door, but didn't wait before pushing it open.

Naruto scrambled out of the bed so fast his legs got tangled and he nearly fell on his face. Kakashi winced when Sasuke didn't so much as twitch at the commotion. He shut the door behind him and went to the desk, pushing things aside so he could set down the coffee he had brought up with him. "Relax," he said to Naruto, who still had a furious blushing 'caught' expression on his face. Considering how Kakashi had spent the night, he wouldn't say a word about the two of them. He did consider saying something about the mess in the room, but decided Sasuke would give Naruto an earful about that when he woke up and realized he had spent the night in a sty. His kid had serious issues with bugs and this place looked like it could be crawling with them. "Here, have a drink while I take a look at him."

One gulp of scalding black coffee was more than enough to wake Naruto. He took a second gulp, just to be sure. Then he turned and leaned against the desk while he watched Kakashi. The man pushed the band off his eye and looked at Sasuke for a long time in silence. Naruto's stomach twisted a little. All of the clones had poofed during the night, each one waking him for a few minutes before he could doze off again. As far as he knew, Sasuke hadn't moved all night, not even a little. He tried prodding Kyuubi awake enough for some reassurances, but the fox batted him away grumpily. He guessed all those clones had worn him out, after all.

"How is he?" Naruto asked quietly.

"Empty," Kakashi said flatly. He had been afraid that might happen. Without the sharingan activated, Sasuke didn't have much base energy to speak of. What little he did have had been smothered completely by the drug's shadow. "He might have trouble using the sharingan when he first wakes up. Tell him not to try using it. It will wear off in a few hours." It wouldn't, of course, but Iruka would be awake by then. "Don't let him sleep much longer. Shake him awake, if you have to."

"What if he's still hallucinating when he wakes up?" Naruto asked worriedly. He didn't want a repeat of last night.

Kakashi covered his sharingan and turned a droll stare on him. "Are you really incapable of restraining him on your own? I thought strength was one of your natural talents. I was surprised by how much trouble you seemed to be having last night."

"I didn't want to hurt him," Naruto scowled. "Yeah, he was struggling like hell, but he wasn't shielding or anything."

So he had learned that lesson. Kakashi smiled at him. "I doubt he'll still be hallucinating. Just wake him up and keep him awake. That drug was designed for Iruka, not him. The longer he sleeps, the harder it will be for him to wake up. I'll send Iruka in as soon as he's up and lucid. If you're hungry, have one of your duplicates bring something up for the two of you. He won't want to be around the others this morning. They're already talking about how he was chewing on you last night. You might want to just tell them the truth before they decide to hold a lynching party."

"Oh, God," Naruto groaned, his stomach rolling. He had wailed. Loudly. And they had been standing right outside the door by the time it was over. He rubbed a hand over his face, not even looking around when Kakashi left the room. What was he supposed to tell them? This was Sasuke's business, and if Sasuke didn't want them all to know, then he didn't have any business telling them. Then again, telling them might be the lesser of two evils. Sasuke would probably be just as mad if he found out they all thought he was some kind of sexual sadist.

'He'd make a good one,' Kyuubi admitted. 'His teeth aren't sharp, but he sure knows how to use them.'

'You're awake! I thought you were being grumpy because using those clones wore you out.'

'That was nothing. It would take a lot more than that to wear me out.' Kyuubi wrapped a tighter block around his thoughts. He wasn't grumpy, he was jealous and horny as hell. The nerve of the man to come in here reeking of Iruka that way. Meanwhile they had spent hours in bed with Sasuke without getting so much as a grope out of it. The scent, the feel, the sheer proximity of him had invaded his dreams. But Naruto had been too worried to even contribute with a few fantasies of his own.

Naruto shifted uneasily. His fox was letting off peculiar vibes. 'Kyuubi? What are you thinking about?'

'He said to wake him up,' Kyuubi reminded him, his tails curling as Naruto followed his gaze. 'I know how I'd like to wake him.'

Naruto's face flushed as the fox gave him lurid visuals. Kyuubi certainly knew how to put those clones to good use. For a moment he was completely caught up in the fantasy, Sasuke restrained and writhing, biting out threats in between gasps of pleasure. Then Sasuke cried out, and it was Kyuubi's name on his lips. Naruto exploded into his head in a fiery rage. Kyuubi hightailed it straight into the cage, where he turned, grinning his sharp teeth and lashing his tails. 'That would never happen!' Naruto hollered into the fox's smug face. 'Never! My name, not yours!'

'My fantasy, my name,' Kyuubi hummed, taunting him with a few more lurid images that didn't include Naruto at all. 'You had him on his hands and knees in that bathroom and didn't even take advantage of it. I would have...handled...him much better.'

'You are so sick,' Naruto cringed. He didn't want to be aroused by what Kyuubi was imagining, but he couldn't help it. 'He was crazy! He didn't even know who I was in there!' He knew he had to put a stop to this. Right now Kyuubi was at least using his body in the images. If he had to picture the two of them together while Kyuubi was in his fox form, then he would be the one to go crazy. 'Do you want me to go nuts? Why are you doing this?'

'Because I'm horny,' Kyuubi snapped. 'Obviously.' Even in the back of Naruto's mind, he couldn't get the reek of sex out of his nose. If he imagined Iruka right now, then he wouldn't be able to keep Naruto from catching glimpses of it. He was being very considerate by turning his attentions to Sasuke instead. The least Naruto could do was molest Sasuke for him. He wasn't even asking for a bite. A few good licks would be enough to get the scent of Iruka out of his mind.

'I don't even want to know how you could possibly be horny at a time like this,' Naruto sighed, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

'No, you don't want to know,' Kyuubi confirmed sullenly. 'If I told you, you'd probably be sick.' Or, more likely, he'd storm straight to Iruka's room. Either way, he didn't want Sasuke to be left alone for even a minute. No matter how Naruto reacted, it would take him a long time to calm down and Kyuubi didn't feel like dealing with it right now. What he felt like doing was molesting the hell out of their sleeping beauty. He quickly sent another image at Naruto, a sickeningly sweet and tender one that had the blonde blushing his fool head off. Now that fantasy definitely tempted him. Naruto was such a closet romantic.

'Stop it,' Naruto said weakly, backing away from the cage. 'You just stay in there until you...' He winced, turning his back and walking away quickly. 'Just stay in there until you've gotten it out of system. And keep it away from me, okay? I don't need that kind of distraction right now.' There was no way he could wake Sasuke up with a hard-on and there was no telling how long it would be before he could sneak away to the bathroom to take care of a problem like that.

He finished off the coffee Kakashi had left, using the nasty flavor to get him back into a gloomy mood. Damn Kyuubi for being such a hornball. As soon as he felt a little more normal, he went over and sat on the bed. The moment his eyes fell on Sasuke, he felt a rustle in the back of his head and knew Kyuubi was watching. As long as the perverted fox kept his thoughts to himself, he would do his best to ignore him. He was reminded of the first time he had put Sasuke to bed. He hadn't done anything bad then and he wasn't about to now. He wasn't that kind of person. There was nothing wrong with looking, though. He was staring at Sasuke's lips when he noticed the blood. He had wiped his face off last night, but only a little because he had been worried about waking him. There was a little bit of blood still crusted on the corner of his mouth. His blood. He wondered if it would be okay to tease him about chewing on his fingers. Not right away, of course, but that had to be something they could joke about someday. He licked his thumb and rubbed the spot clean. Sasuke's arm promptly rose to wipe at his mouth. They both tensed at the exact same moment.

"Hey," Naruto said quickly, resisting the urge to move away from the bed. "Are you feeling sane this morning?"

"...Naruto...?"

"Yeah." Naruto was just about to heave a sigh of relief when Sasuke groaned and pulled the blanket up over his head. "Hey! Don't go back to sleep!"

"Go 'way," Sasuke grumbled. He growled a little when Naruto tugged on the covers.

"You have to wake up." Naruto frowned at the blanketed lump. Finally his jaw tightened and he yanked the blanket away entirely. Sasuke shot into an upright position and glared at him. He had a flash of two mismatched red eyes, one with a single black mark in it, the other with two, and then Sasuke cringed, his hands grabbing at his head. Naruto cringed himself. It must have hurt like hell for Sasuke to actually cry out. "Don't use the sharingan! We had to drug you last night and Kakashi said not to try using the sharingan right away. It'll wear off in a few hours, but you need to stay awake until then."

Sasuke leaned his head on his raised knees. He had a horrible taste in his mouth and just sitting up had taken an enormous amount of effort. None of that mattered, though. "I don't have any energy..." What could he have done to wipe himself out that much? He shot a quick look at Naruto and his eyes immediately teared up. He wiped them furiously. Just one flash of the sharingan was enough to make them throb and burn. "Are you alright? What happened?"

"I'm fine," Naruto assured him. "You were bitten by a snake lizard thing and you started having hallucinations. Do you remember that?"

He remembered the bathroom. They had been in the bathroom and it had been crowded with people and things that weren't real. Suigetsu taunting him. And then Naruto had... He scrambled away until his back slammed into the wall. His eyes were so wide they burned and blurred, but he couldn't tear them away from the blonde sitting across from him. "We..."

Naruto stood up in alarm. "What? What's wrong?"

"We had sex?" Sasuke demanded, his throat closing so tightly it came out as a hiss. "In front of Suigetsu?"

"What? No!" Naruto gaped, stunned both by the tears in Sasuke's eyes and the horribly affronted look on his face. Was the prospect of them having sex that horrifying to him? "That guy wasn't even here! That was just a hallucination you had!"

"No," Sasuke said tightly, his eyes narrowing into slits. "Hallucinations come from the mind of the person and I don't think things like that." He had never had an erotic fantasy in his entire life. The very idea that he might have hallucinated something sexual was insulting. "There was nothing sexual going on in that room until you grabbed me." He did recall Suigetsu making nasty insinuations about those squirmy things, but he discounted that. He vividly recalled Naruto intruding, coming out of nowhere amid all those things, the only real thing in the entire room. And he had known it was real because it was sexual and he would never have hallucinated something like that. He remembered that. And Suigetsu had told them to go ahead and fuck and had they? It was all hazy after that. They could have done anything. He wiped his eyes, but they were still too blurry to make Naruto out. "Don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying," Naruto said sharply. He took a deep breath and sat back down on the edge of the bed. Sasuke's eyes were watering, he realized. He was so relieved those weren't tears that he had to remind himself to be insulted by what Sasuke was suggesting. "You were out of your mind, Sasuke. Messing around with you like that would have been like doing it with a perfect stranger. Not to mention that Iruka-sensei and Kakashi were right outside the door. I did grope you, but only to get your attention. You were chewing through my fingers." He held the hand up. "I mean that literally. You got all the way to the bone and I didn't know how to make you stop without breaking your neck or your teeth. I was screaming so loud I woke up everyone upstairs. We're going to have to explain that to the others because they're already jumping to all sorts of awful conclusions. Anyway, Kakashi suggested I try groping you, so I did. But just to get your attention! And that's all I did. I grabbed you and you came to your senses for a second. I did end up squeezing you once, but only because you were trying to do another nosedive into the tub. After a while even groping you didn't snap you out of it, so Kakashi used that weight talent of his and we drugged you. Oh! I also kissed you to get the pills down, but it wasn't sexual." His nose wrinkled. "You thought the pills were maggots."

Sasuke closed his eyes with a sigh, rubbing his throbbing temples. "I'm sorry for accusing you. It was very confusing and that was one of the few things I remembered clearly. I should have guessed Kakashi would be behind it somehow. Sex is his solution to everything."

"To be fair, it did work for a few seconds," Naruto conceded. "But then you got angry again. What was that guy saying to you? I've never seen you so mad."

"Taunts. It all came from my own mind, so it's only natural that he knew exactly what to say." He propped his forehead up on one arm, not bothering to open his eyes. "I probably hallucinated about him because we were talking about him last night." He supposed he should be glad his mind had thrown Suigetsu at him. If it had been Itachi, he would have reacted with fear. He would much rather Naruto see him insanely angry than afraid. "Is that all that happened last night? I didn't hurt anyone else, did I?"

"Nope, just me." Naruto waited expectantly for a moment, and then frowned when he didn't get an apology. "You chewed my fingers down to the bone," he reminded him.

Sasuke wasn't about to apologize. "You shouldn't have kept me here. I could have killed someone."

"No, you shouldn't have tried to run. The guy who sent that thing was waiting for you, just like I said. Well, he wasn't waiting himself, but he had some sort of puppet or zombie or something out there, waiting to get you. Do you know a guy named Sasori? Or Deidara?"

"Neither," Sasuke frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, I sent clones out to look for a scent or track, to find out where the snake-lizard came from. When that didn't turn anything up, one of them went and ended up talking to that doctor guy, and he said-"

"You what?" His eyes flashed open and he grabbed Naruto's shirt, but he had to hold off on yelling at him. He clenched his eyes, holding his breath for a long dizzy moment. His eyes felt as if needles were being inserted directly into the center of them.

"Do your eyes hurt that bad?" Naruto asked worriedly. He leaned forward, brushing the hair away from Sasuke's face. "Be still for a minute."

Sasuke grimaced as he felt Naruto's tongue on his right eyelid. That didn't hurt as much as scrubbing his hands over them had, but it still hurt. "What are you doing? Do you really think that's going to help? You said the drug would wear off in a few hours. There's no point doing that." He didn't want Naruto's orange all over his face.

"It can't hurt."

It did hurt, but Sasuke didn't bother telling him that. He curled his hand in Naruto's shirt, pushing him away when he tried to lick his cheeks. "You talked to Kabuto? After I told you to stay away from him?"

"It was just a clone. And he seemed really worried when he thought something might have happened to you."

"I'm sure," Sasuke muttered darkly.

"Anyway, he thought it was the work of some guy who uses puppets, and another guy who makes things explode, but since this thing didn't explode it might not have been him. I'm not sure about that part. He said they had a grudge against Itachi, and that's why they did it. Kyuubi kept an eye on him and that Frankenstein flunky of his after the clone left. He caught the flunky heading into the fields, aiming for the mountains, but then he lost him. The doctor-guy said he had an earth affinity, so he might have gone underground. Kyuubi has been having trouble reading him when he's buried."

Sasuke shook his head. "You knew for a fact that I didn't want you near them. Yet you intentionally sought him out. Your meddling is going to get you killed. I don't want to be responsible for that!"

"It was just a clone."

"You drew attention to yourself. He might never have even noticed you if you hadn't-"

"He already knew my name," Naruto interrupted. "He said he knew more about me than I did. And he knew about Kyuubi, too. He called him my fox demon. How would he know that much about me?"

Sasuke didn't like the sound of that. "He's a voyeur. He watches people. He knows things because he watches and listens. It's his business to know." But why Naruto? Kyuubi's story had convinced him the snake had nothing to do with Naruto's past. But even Kyuubi didn't know where Naruto had been before he ended up in that conflict. Was he the 'failed experiment' Kabuto had mentioned, then? Kyuubi had said that he considered the attack on them to be a test, which he had failed. His stomach clenched fitfully. No, he didn't like the sound of that at all. If the snake had been interested in Naruto when he was that young, then maybe Itachi would be interested in him now. He couldn't even protect himself from Itachi. How the hell was he going to protect Naruto if Itachi actually targeted him? "What else did he say about you?"

"Nothing. I went there to talk to him about the attack, because I thought that flunky of his was behind it. We mostly talked about you. He said your brother-"

"Itachi."

Naruto frowned. He didn't blame him for wanting to distance himself from the guy, but the way he said it was pretty telling. "He said Itachi used to work for his boss. Did you know they used to be on the same side?"

"No," Sasuke shrugged, dismissively. "I suspected it, but it doesn't matter to me what history they have."

"It should matter," Naruto said, frowning even more. "He also said that people are after you and Itachi, for the sharingan. So if he dies, they'll come after you. He basically said the only reason they haven't gotten you yet is because Itachi has been killing anyone who targets you."

"It doesn't matter."

Naruto growled under his breath, scowling at him now. "How can you say that? I'm telling you that it's not just Itachi who's after you. Of course it matters!"

"Why?" Sasuke peeked through his eyelashes. The room was so bright it hurt his eyes, but he could see well enough to stare at Naruto. "What difference does knowing that make? What do you expect me to do differently now that I know that? Go back to running so I'm harder to find?" Honestly, he would rather die. He was so tired of that life. He honestly didn't believe he would ever get stronger than Itachi, so there was no goal to work toward, nothing to look forward to, just surviving one day at a time and for what? So that one day he might finally be strong enough for Itachi to get what he wanted from him? If Itachi really had been in league with the snake, and the snake really was Pakkun's body thief, then it was obvious why Itachi had made him a mutant. It didn't matter that the two had some sort of falling out. Itachi wanted him strong and alive because he would be useful to him that way. Whether he was planning to get the death he wanted or to do a body-hop of his own, it made no difference in the end. "The only thing I can do is get as strong as possible as fast as possible. I'm already doing that. I've always been doing that. If it's not enough, there's nothing I can do about that. And if Itachi wants me strong, then the best way to spite him would be to kill myself right now. Or stay weak, which is the same thing as killing myself."

Naruto was shaking his head. "That's passive-aggressive bullshit."

"Do you even know what that means?" Sasuke sneered.

"Kyuubi does," Naruto snapped. "It means you're giving up without even trying."

"No, I'm being realistic. What good does it do me to know that people are after me? If they're stronger than me, then there's nothing I can do except hide or die. Which of those choices do you suggest I go with?" Sasuke scoffed at Naruto's expression. His face was a mottled picture of anger and denial. "Neither, right? The only other option is to go on as I have been. I can't make myself age faster and that's the one thing holding me back. All I can do is continue to survive until I'm strong enough to fight back. I do that regardless, so what difference does knowing any of that make?"

"You should want to know. If you at least understand why it's happening, then..."

Sasuke shook his head, suddenly feeling sorry for him. Even as naive as he was, Naruto was reaching the same conclusion Sasuke himself had reached years ago. "It won't make me feel better. Knowing his motives won't change what Itachi does. It won't make it any easier to accept. If anything, it might even make it harder." He had a strong will to live. If this got any harder than it already was, he might lose even that. Everyone had a breaking point. He had already been nearing his back when Kakashi had clipped him in that alley. If he hadn't gotten out of Japan then, he doubted he would be still be alive today.

Naruto dropped his eyes. He couldn't understand why Sasuke was so resigned. He didn't even sound angry. How could he have survived so long if he had such a defeatist attitude? And not wanting to know why his own brother was doing this to him? He should want to know. He should need to know. Naruto would have. He wouldn't have rested until he finally understood why it was happening. Understanding motive was important to defeating an enemy, wasn't it? And how could knowing possibly make it worse?

'You wouldn't want to know, either,' said Kyuubi. He had approached enough to be a warm spot at Naruto's back. Naruto was so forlorn and pitiful, he felt obligated to wrap a few tails over his shoulders. 'Can you imagine Iruka suddenly torturing you in order to make you stronger? Would it matter to you why he was doing it?'

'That's a bad example,' Naruto sighed.

'We don't know that. He may have been a kind brother before he went insane. If he has been protecting him, then he's doing it for his own reasons. It doesn't matter what those reasons are. They don't change the fact that he's been torturing him and will continue to do so until he gets what he wants out of him.'

'I hate it when you two are on the same wavelength and I'm not,' Naruto admitted. He smiled weakly, feeling as pitiful as Kyuubi was taking him to be. He knew exactly why the fox was patting his shoulders like that. 'I'd still want to know. Even if it were Iruka-sensei doing it all of a sudden, I'd still want to know why. I'd never be able to just accept it without knowing why and being absolutely sure that there's nothing I can do to help him stop being that way.'

'That's the difference. He was a child when it started. He never had any hope of changing anything. Now it's been going on for so many years that not even a determined softie like you could get through to this guy. Give it up. You can't save him. The only way to stop him is to kill him. Don't let what that doctor said sway you in that. Regardless of his motives, what he's done is unforgivable.'

'Yeah,' Naruto said softly, 'but you know, I'm really bad at giving up.'

'I know,' Kyuubi sighed in resignation. 'Luckily for you, I'm here to make up for that flaw.'

"Naruto..."

Naruto blinked rapidly, wincing a little when he realized he had gone too deep into his head. He glanced up to find Sasuke staring over his shoulder. His eyes were bloodshot and watery, but wide open. And his upper lip was curling in revulsion. "Huh?"

"Where are we?" Sasuke demanded. There was trash all over the place. Dirty clothes, papers, dirty dishes, even empty instant ramen cups. Had he slept in this sty? His skin was crawling at the very thought. This place was an infestation waiting to happen.

"Um..." Naruto glanced over his shoulder and cringed. He didn't really notice the mess until he thought about someone else seeing it. Maybe he should have stuffed some of that under the bed and into the closet while he had the chance last night. "My room?"

"I'm out of here." Sasuke was off the bed, sidestepping a wad of dirty clothes, and at the door in seconds. Naruto caught him there, and he shot him a deadly glare when he tried to stop him. "If you ever want me to step foot into this room again, clean it first."

"Okay, okay," Naruto groaned. Sasuke sounded as bad as Iruka. "I'll clean it right now, just wait, okay?"

"I'm not staying in here another second."

"Then I'm coming with you to your room!" Naruto insisted as he followed him out. It wasn't until Sasuke halted just inside his own room that he remembered the dirt on his floor. He stared down at it for a long while, and then scowled at Sasuke. "Let me guess, you want me to clean that up, too?"

"Or you could leave while I do it."

Naruto heaved a sigh. "I'll do it."

"I thought you might."

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Sasuke watched as Naruto cleaned up the mess on the floor. Naruto had tried to make a clone do it and had been met with stubborn refusal. They were duplicates after all and the clone was no more eager to do chores than he was. In the end he had sent the clone downstairs to check on breakfast and started cleaning the floor himself. Sasuke was impressed that Naruto wanted to stay in his room so badly he was willing to clean up a mess he hadn't made, especially considering the state of Naruto's own room. He was also relieved that he had insisted on staying here. He couldn't stop thinking about the fact that Kabuto knew about Kyuubi, which meant the snake did as well. He had to assume Itachi knew as much as they did. Where before he had been afraid to have Naruto sticking too close to him, he was now afraid to let him out of his sight. Yet he couldn't imagine what Itachi could possibly want with him.

Naruto was just starting to come into his own abilities. He had no fighting experience, making him no threat to anyone. He certainly had nothing in common with the sort of mutants Sasuke associated with Itachi. He wouldn't be motivated by greed and the desire for power, so he couldn't be used to do someone else's dirty work. That only left Kyuubi, and according to the fox he couldn't exist separate from Naruto. Kyuubi might have more in common with Itachi's typical underlings than Naruto did, but Sasuke suspected he was too proud to be someone's lapdog. His awakening had proven that he couldn't be controlled, and his only loyalty was to Naruto, and possibly Iruka. Itachi might be able to use threats to get Kyuubi to do his bidding, but with Naruto to limit him that wouldn't last long. Why would Itachi bother? If the snake wasn't interested in Naruto despite what he knew about him, then Itachi shouldn't be either. Even if Naruto was their 'failed experiment,' that meant he was exactly that - a failure. Someone they kept track of but weren't particularly concerned about. There was no reason for Itachi to target him in particular. But telling himself that didn't help. He had never been able to get into Itachi's mind. He didn't know what Itachi's goals were so he couldn't guess what use he might have for Naruto.

The only thing he knew for certain was that Itachi would use Naruto to get at him. He didn't want him to form bonds with anyone. The moment he realized Naruto mattered to him he would use that against him. Whether he merely threatened to kill him or attacked him outright, Sasuke would have no choice but to leave him behind. The shield might be enough to protect Naruto from an attack, but it wouldn't protect what he had here. It was foolish to care so much. He had known from the start that this would be temporary.

He listened to Naruto grumble under his breath as he dried the floor and was reminded of their tussle in the mud. He had come here with no intention of making friends. Now, simply by being himself, Naruto had become something even worse. He didn't think he could give him up without a fight and that was a terrifying prospect. He knew what would happen if he attacked Itachi. He might be strong enough now to handle the pain, but not the crippling fear. How much worse would it be if Itachi knew exactly why he was fighting? He might decide to punish Naruto rather than him, and Naruto had far more people he cared about. If Itachi decided to slaughter them Naruto would never recover. He might survive, physically, but he wouldn't be Naruto anymore. He couldn't stand the thought of that.

"Naruto. Come here."

"I'm almost done," Naruto grumbled. He left the wad of paper towels on the floor and came over to sit beside him on the bed. His eyes widened when Sasuke put a hand on his cheek. The touch was gentle, but Sasuke's expression was cold, his eyes dark with anger. "What's wrong?"

"I hate you," Sasuke stated. Naruto had stubbornly pushed past his defenses and then tempted him with things he had never wanted or needed. Hurt flashed in those bright blue eyes and he hated him even more for looking so vulnerable.

"What?" Naruto blurted. "Why? What did I do now?"

"Just shut up," Sasuke muttered, as he pulled him over. Naruto squirmed in his arms, and he tightened his hold. This was as much Naruto's fault as his. Hadn't he been angry with him for giving up without trying? He should be satisfied now. He would fight and he would lose, but he would make sure Itachi lost as well. Itachi would have to kill him to take this away from him. He would finally know just how invested Itachi really was in keeping him alive. "This is all your fault," he growled. He shoved Naruto's head down on his shoulder when he tried to pull away enough to look at him. "You had better survive this."

As if he would die that easily. Naruto winced at the fist clenched in his hair, but he stopped trying to get free. He curled his arms around Sasuke's back, returning the fierce embrace. He didn't know why Sasuke was so upset all of a sudden, but if he wanted to be close to him he was more than willing. Maybe the weight of it all had finally gotten to him. He wished he could say something to reassure him. Instead he merely pulled him closer. Eventually Sasuke relaxed and dropped his head onto his shoulder. Naruto loosened his grip and raised a hand to cup the back of his head, petting his hair. Whatever Sasuke thought to the contrary, he wasn't alone in this. They were keeping him. He would never be alone again.

.-.

Iruka didn't wake up in a muddled daze the way he usually did. Instead it was a jolt and his eyes snapped open to the familiar sight of his tilted ceiling. The first thing he heard was his own sigh of relief. The screaming had stopped. For one long moment he wondered if the screams had been his own. He had started to suspect they were, but now he remembered what his own voice sounded like. The screams had been much higher pitched, a woman or young child. That was odd. He rarely gravitated toward females. It wasn't until a hand touched his shoulder that he realized he wasn't alone. Another long moment passed before he could put a name to the face. He sat up with a groan.

"What's wrong?" Kakashi asked, quirking an eyebrow at the scowling man. He had expected Iruka to have difficulty waking, considering he hadn't let him get much sleep last night. He was startled and a touch amused to find him as cranky as if he had let him sleep himself out. Iruka spotted the coffee cup, and Kakashi held his silence when it was snatched out of his hand. Experience had taught him to be wary of a cranky Iruka.

"I got lost," Iruka muttered. He gulped some of the coffee, grimacing when he found it lukewarm. That didn't stop him from draining the cup, though. "I should have taken another pill before I went back to sleep," he admitted, handing the cup back. "I wasn't thinking."

That was an understatement. He must not have been lost for long because the events of last night were quick to return, including some vivid explanations for the soreness he felt. An automatic blush followed close behind that thought. He fought it off until he recalled why he wasn't particularly dirty this morning. Then the blush caught him full force. He resisted the urge to scowl at the man responsible. Barely. He knew he had only himself to blame, but that didn't stop him from feeling taken advantage of. Even a saint would have trouble resisting a naked Kakashi and Iruka was no saint. Still...he didn't regret it enough to feel angry. He was just a little disappointed in himself, and sullenly impressed by Kakashi's gall.

"You have to share," Kakashi drawled, smirking when Iruka glowered at him. "You can't blush and squirm like that without sharing what's on your mind. Unless you want me to coax it out of you...?"

"You're incorrigible," Iruka huffed. "I still don't know how you got us to the bathroom. Anyone could have seen us."

"No, there was never a chance of that." He was surprised Iruka hadn't protested more last night, but he supposed the man had been a little out of it at the time. It was a shame he couldn't impress him some more while he looked so rumpled and vulnerable. Well, his glower didn't look particularly vulnerable, but the blush and slumped shoulders certainly did. He sighed as he sat on the edge of the bed, keeping his hands to himself for the time being. "Iruka, this would be a good time to tell me exactly what that drug of yours does." As expected, the sudden question caught him off guard. "Sasuke isn't handling it as well as you do."

"Oh!" Iruka scrambled against the covers. "You should have told me sooner. Is he-"

"He's doing better than he would be if you ran down there naked," Kakashi assured him. Iruka froze and then covered himself. Kakashi laughed. "It's a little late for that."

"You're horrible," Iruka groaned. He pushed the man off his bed so he could drag the blanket with him to his closet. Kakashi had seen enough of him already. "What's wrong with Sasuke? His symptoms?"

"You haven't answered my question," Kakashi pointed out, sitting back on the bed. "Why should I answer yours?"

"Kakashi-san."

It wasn't just the formality, it was the tone. Kakashi winced, and then glowered. He didn't even try to keep the condescension out of his tone. "I can only assume the drug is doing the same thing to him that it does to you. Since you won't tell me what it does to you, I can't say what it does to him."

Iruka snorted softly but didn't rise to the bait. It was bad enough Kakashi had wriggled his way into his bed without letting him into his dreams as well. "I did tell you. It helps me sleep. You said it looked like a blanket over my energy. That's accurate enough. People sleep with blankets to feel warm and secure. The drug has the same effect on me." Fully dressed, he turned to toss the blanket on the bed and wasn't surprised to find Kakashi's red eye locked on him. "What?"

"There's no shadow now," Kakashi frowned. There wasn't even a hint of one. Iruka's energy didn't look any higher than usual, but he couldn't tell if that was because he was controlling it himself or if that were simply his normal level.

Iruka brushed Kakashi's concern off. "I told you, I forgot to take another pill before I went back to sleep. What did you see when you looked at Sasuke this morning?"

"Your blanket," Kakashi said flatly, "and nothing else. He doesn't have much energy when he's not using the eyes. That shadow snuffed out what little he did have, so now he doesn't have enough to use the eyes at all." If he tried to use them now and found himself unable to, he would likely panic. He considered telling Iruka that, but decided against it. He doubted a guilt trip would get him the answers he wanted, and drugging Sasuke hadn't been Iruka's idea, anyway. In fact, Iruka had been set against it from the start and would likely place the blame right back on him. He gave a wistful sigh for the loss of that disheveled and flustered Iruka, and looked back to the motivated and cranky one standing before him. "Under normal circumstances, I'd consider his condition serious. But with you here, it's not a problem."

Iruka was both surprised and suspicious. "What do you mean?"

"All he really needs is a little energy boost to lift that shadow, and you happen to have a sharing nature as well as energy the sharingan thrives off of." It really was convenient the way that worked out. He wondered if Iruka's energy was really as incompatible with others as he thought it was. He had only provided one example, his friend Tenka, and considering his talent was to manifest weapons made of energy it might not mean much that an energy boost was disastrous for him.

"Is he in his room?" asked Iruka. He found his hairtie on the floor and made a high tail that would do him for now.

"He should be." The house hadn't fallen apart under their feet, so it was safe to assume Naruto hadn't tried to keep him in his mess of a room.

It was only as Iruka was reaching for the doorknob that his sense of decency got the better of him. Admittedly there wasn't much to say about what they had done. Kakashi had caught him by surprise and he had given in. For him it had been amazing, undoubtedly the best sex he would ever have. For Kakashi it was just another encounter among many. He would remember it long after Kakashi had forgotten and if he walked out without saying anything he would remember it with regret. He turned to look back at him. Kakashi was watching him, looking as casual as a man of his experience should be after a night of meaningless sex. Iruka knew he didn't have to worry about hurting his feelings. He was doing this to make himself feel better about having used him. The fact that Kakashi had wanted to be used didn't make it any better.

He went over and leaned down to kiss his cheek. Kakashi's eye widened, and he smiled at him. "I'm sorry for being so flustered and abrupt. Last night was very nice. Thank you for sharing it with me." He brushed the back of his hand over Kakashi's other cheek and then left the room, content that having given in didn't make him a bad person. They had both enjoyed themselves so there was no harm done.

It wasn't until Iruka shut the door quietly behind him that Kakashi realized what had just happened. For the last ten or so years he had been leaving bedrooms with remarks similar to the one Iruka had just given him. He was stunned to find himself on the receiving end of such a casual dismissal. He didn't like it one bit. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. Iruka was supposed to have fled the room in embarrassment that he had gotten his way with him. Hadn't he promised to never stop blushing? If Iruka thought he could just put last night behind him and go on his merry way as if it had never happened then he was in for a surprise. Kakashi would bide his time and help him with the kids, but as soon as they were alone he would set things straight. As he had warned him last night, he was just getting started.

Sasuke's room was a little more crowded than Kakashi had expected. Sasuke and Naruto were sitting on the floor eating breakfast. A second Naruto was sitting across from them and picking at their plates. Iruka was standing over the three, his arms folded as he lectured both Narutos. Kakashi's eyebrow quirked when he caught the gist of the lecture. He would have expected Iruka to be too distracted to worry about something so trivial as Naruto eating for two. The worst thing that could happen would be for the chewed food to be left behind when the clone vanished. If Sasuke wasn't concerned about that potential mess, Iruka shouldn't be either.

"I already ate some downstairs," the clone was defending himself to Iruka. "I'm still hungry." He made a grab for one of Naruto's sausage links only to have his hand batted away. He pouted until Sasuke gave him one of his. He bit it in half, savoring the spicy flavor. He felt as if he had never eaten before, which technically was true since he had only been created a short while ago. He sent a defensive look over his shoulder, including Kakashi in it this time. "I deserve a reward. I had to go down there and face everyone by myself. They thought I was the real thing, but Lee's the only one who looked like he believed me when I explained about last night." He turned back to Sasuke with a shrug. "You're going to have to talk to them this time."

"I don't care what they think," Sasuke said flatly. He offered him half of his cinnamon bun and watched in fascination as he gobbled it down. He couldn't figure out how a clone was able to eat. It might appear solid, but it was just an extension of Naruto's energy. Right?

"You don't have to share so much with him," Naruto grumbled beside him. He resented the attention Sasuke was paying the clone. He had wanted to dispatch it the moment it brought the food up as payback for interrupting them right when Sasuke had relaxed enough to stroke his back. They might have progressed to kissing if he hadn't barged in.

"Have you even considered what will happen when that duplicate disappears?" Iruka asked worriedly. His question had been directed at Naruto, so he was surprised when Sasuke answered.

"If he keeps it around long enough to digest, the food should be transformed into energy. That's all calories are, after all. If not, Naruto will clean up the mess."

"Thanks a lot," Naruto muttered, making a face at his eggs. His disgust at the prospect only put a tiny curb on his appetite, however. Kyuubi was starving this morning so he couldn't blame the clone too much if he were feeling the same as him. Making those clones last night must have worn the fox out no matter what he said to the contrary. Kyuubi was curled in a tight ball in his cage, radiating impatience and ravenous hunger. Naruto already knew this one plate of food wasn't going to satisfy him.

"As long as you're prepared for the consequences," Iruka sighed reluctantly. It wouldn't be the first time Naruto had eaten himself sick, and they knew more about his duplicates than he did. He was just relieved to find them getting along so well this morning. Aside from his pallor and bloodshot eyes, Sasuke didn't look too bad considering his difficult night. He glanced over at Kakashi and frowned when he merely raised an eyebrow at him. He was the one who had sent him rushing down here in a fit of worry. "I'm going to check on the others," he told Naruto. "Let me know when you're finished eating so we can check on Sasuke."

"I don't need checked on," Sasuke muttered.

"I'll come get you," the clone offered, ignoring Sasuke. Sasuke didn't have much food left, so going downstairs again would give him a chance to grab some more. He ignored the dark look Naruto sent him. Naruto would thank him later. He rarely got enough food to feel full with just one mouth to do the eating. And if the food really did get left behind it would be the real body's problem, not his. Besides, Naruto deserved it for sending him down to face the others while he was up here cuddling with Sasuke. He didn't know how that had happened, but he felt quite smug to have broken it up.

The adults left the room, Kakashi pausing to send an amused look at Sasuke. Sasuke glowered back. Once the man had gone, he slid his plate over, offering the rest of his eggs. Naruto's clone took the fork eagerly.

"Sasuke!" Naruto scowled at him. "You know, if he really does leave a mess behind I might decide not to clean it up."

"Just make sure he's in your room when you let him go. Then you won't even notice what he leaves behind." He stole Naruto's last sausage, raising an eyebrow when he promptly threw a fit. "Go downstairs and get some more. Better yet, just go eat breakfast with the rest of them. You don't need to stay up here with me. I'll be down later."

"No. I want to eat with you." He wasn't letting him out of his sight. He rounded on the clone, who had completely polished off Sasuke's plate. "Go get some more sausage. And see if there's any bacon left."

"More rolls," Sasuke put in. "And coffee."

"I can't carry all that!" the clone protested. "I'll want to get something for me, too."

"You've had enough already," Naruto muttered. He glared at the clone, wondering if it was worth arguing with himself. If they were too loud Sasuke might kick them both out. "You'll probably be munching while you're down there, anyway. You don't need to bring anything back up for yourself."

The clone groused and drug his feet, but he took their plates out of the room. Sasuke turned to Naruto once he was gone. "Are you planning to stick close to me all day? I'm not going to run off." All he really wanted to do was go back to sleep for a few hours. There was no point in Naruto hanging around for that. He was sure nothing would happen to either of them in the daytime so long as they stayed inside.

"I'm not worried about you running off," Naruto admitted. "I just don't want you to be alone." According to Sai they had at least another day before Itachi was expected to arrive, but he didn't want to take any chances. Sasuke's eyes narrowed, and he quickly distracted him before he could get insulted or defensive. "I read some of your journal last night. Kyuubi and I were wondering how you got so fast. Is that a talent you copied?"

"I don't think so," Sasuke sighed. Maybe it was just as well Naruto was feeling over-protective. Even though he knew Naruto would be perfectly safe with the others, he didn't really want him to leave. "My speed began to improve once I started learning how to use my energy. Unless it's something that naturally goes along with the sharingan, it isn't a talent. A lot of it is just having fast reflexes. You'll get that with experience."

"So you think we'll get faster the more we fight?"

"Of course. Don't expect to get as fast as me, though. Your talent is power. I've never met a mutant who excelled at both power and speed." He frowned suddenly, recalling that interrupted race in the fields. "Except maybe Lee. If he's as strong as you he may have both. You should spar with him. That would help you get faster without having to hold back your strength. Just watch out for that energy of his."

"I can't see his energy," Naruto reminded him with a weak smile. "If it gets a little too friendly neither of us will know, so it doesn't matter much." He was still disturbed by the thought of it, but if he couldn't see or feel it, what difference did it really make? Fighting with Lee was a good idea, and it would probably be fun. It wouldn't help him in time to take on Itachi, though. His expression sobered, and he sent Sasuke a furtive look. "I assumed Itachi was fast. Does that mean he isn't strong?"

He should have known Naruto would get back to that. Whereas the thought of attacking Itachi filled him with dread, the thought of Naruto doing so infuriated him and made him sick to his stomach. It wasn't right. He wouldn't stand a chance. It would be like him attacking Sakura, a senseless bloodbath. He knew Naruto would never believe it until he saw it with his own eyes. But even then he wouldn't see much of anything because he didn't have the sharingan. He closed his eyes, knowing he was wasting his breath even as he spoke. "He's strong enough. The last time I attacked him he cut through my attempts to shield as if my energy wasn't even there. I could see his movements, but I wasn't fast enough to touch him. I still don't know what talents he has copied over the years. He didn't have to use any of them to put me in my place." He had only seen Itachi use an actual talent once, when he had torn apart that would-be rapist right in front of him. He had already lost the sharingan by then, so all he knew was what he had seen. It was gruesome, quick, and effortless.

"How long ago was that?"

Sasuke knew what he was thinking. He was wondering the same thing himself. He was a lot stronger now, faster, and he could manipulate his energy as easily as his body. It would still be a hopeless fight, but he suspected he was good enough to at least make it a fight. If Itachi was as reluctant to kill him as he thought, he could probably draw blood before it was over. But it would end swiftly, the moment Itachi used his talents. He didn't need to know what talents Itachi had at his disposal. He had seen the mutants who obeyed his every command. Fighting the man they feared would be like fighting all of them. He couldn't imagine a single mutant being capable of that. He certainly wasn't. "It hasn't been long enough," Sasuke said finally. "Attacking Itachi is suicide. I won't let you do that no matter how much you want to."

"But if we attack him together-"

"We'd die together," Sasuke finished for him. "Forget it, Naruto. I'm not taking you with me."

He said that as if he had a choice. Naruto kept quiet. If Sasuke refused to even consider planning a joint attack, then he would just have to find a way to help him on his own. The main problem was still getting around that bubble of his. If he couldn't figure out how to pop it in time, then he would just have to make sure he wasn't put in it to begin with. The doorknob turned and Naruto looked up expectantly. But the door only opened a crack.

"Sasuke-kun? I knocked but there was no answer. Is it okay to come in?"

"I told you it was," the clone said from the hall. He pushed past Lee, not minding when he froze at the sight of the real Naruto. "You're lucky I brought help if you won't even open the door for me."

Kakashi must have soundproofed his room, Sasuke realized. He sighed at the wide-eyed boy standing in his doorway. "Come in. Shut the door behind you."

"Why are there two Narutos?" Lee asked, once he had recovered from his shock. He sat down beside the clone, looking from him to Naruto in amazement.

"I'm the real one," said Naruto. He didn't know what his clone was thinking, bringing Lee up here. The whole point of using a clone was so he could stay up here and Sasuke wouldn't have to see anyone. He sent a worried look at Sasuke. He didn't appear annoyed to have Lee here, just resigned.

"Iruka-sensei and Kakashi are the only other ones who know I can make copies of myself," the clone told Lee. "Now you're in on the secret. Don't tell the others. I'll surprise them with it later."

Lee beamed, pleased to be favored with such trust. "Your secret is safe with me." He handed Naruto and Sasuke the mugs he had brought up, and then went back to staring from one Naruto to the other.

The clone grimaced when Naruto's eyebrows shot up at the sight of the coffee. "Iruka-sensei knows that one's for you. I tried convincing him they were both for Sasuke, but Kakashi ratted me out by saying Sasuke doesn't like cream and sugar in his. Iruka-sensei said you only get one cup. He wouldn't let me have any at all."

Sasuke handed him a sausage to shut him up before he could start whining in earnest. He took one of the cinnamon buns from the other plate. He wasn't as ravenous as Naruto and his clone apparently were, but he was hoping the sugar would pick him up a little. "Have you eaten?" he asked Lee. He didn't seem to be in any hurry to leave and the clone had brought up more than enough to go around.

"Yes, thank you." He flashed a quick smile and then looked at him soberly. "I'm sorry you did not feel comfortable joining us for breakfast this morning. I for one did not believe anything untoward about you this time."

"This time?" Sasuke repeated. Naruto choked, turning bright red. He flicked him a sidelong glare.

"I thought you didn't care what they thought," the clone put in.

He didn't care. That didn't mean he wasn't curious about Naruto's reaction. Conveniently Lee was only too happy to explain.

.-.

Immediately after leaving Sasuke's room, Iruka had rounded on Kakashi. It took a few minutes before he understood his take on the situation. Sasuke wasn't aware of the seriousness of his condition. He thought it would wear off on its own. If Iruka acted particularly concerned he might realize and overreact. Iruka was no more eager to see that than Kakashi was. Sasuke was taking this better than Kakashi had expected so they shouldn't do anything to ruin that. It didn't take long for Iruka to reach the same conclusion. He went downstairs content to give the boys some time to themselves. It was a good thing he did because unlike Naruto and Sasuke the other kids weren't taking last night nearly as well.

Breakfast was strained and awkward. Ino grudgingly accepted his apology for making them wait, but it was obvious the empty chairs at the table bothered her. Sakura and Kiba wouldn't be engaged in conversation at all. Iruka fully understood Kiba's reluctance to look him in the eye. The moment he walked into the kitchen Kiba beat a hasty retreat to let Akamaru outside. By the time they sat down in the dining room he had his blush under control, but he continued to look horribly uncomfortable. That made Iruka wonder why Naruto hadn't reacted similarly. He wanted to believe that Naruto was simply too preoccupied with Sasuke to notice, but he doubted he would get off that easily. Lee was the only one of the kids who seemed the same as always. In fact, his enthusiasm was brighter than ever as he tried to cheer up Sakura. She was downright gloomy and Iruka didn't need to know why in order to see that it was affecting Ino as well. Like Lee, Iruka focused his attentions on Sakura. He did his best not to think too much of the fact that Neji, Shikamaru, and Sai had failed to come down for breakfast.

They had almost finished eating when Naruto's clone showed up to raid the table. Iruka watched curiously as all of the kids except Lee dropped their eyes. Obviously some explaining was needed. He wanted them to develop a healthy respect for each other's privacy, but right now their lives revolved around each other. The girls in particular were relying on the comfortable group dynamic. He would have to find something to occupy their time. Unlike most of the boys, they weren't loners. Ino had found a place for herself as the bossy housewife of the group, but Sakura remained in limbo. Although Lee and Naruto were friendly enough to include her, they had other things on their minds. He decided to take her aside later. She was the only one who couldn't exercise her talents so even in group activities she was likely to feel left out. Maybe he should ask Kurenai to keep her for a few days. Hinata would love the company and it would do Sakura well to have a female friend aside from Ino.

He brought up the idea while he and Sakura did the dishes. She was reluctant to miss out on anything that might happen in the house. On the other hand she wouldn't mind getting away from Ino for a while. They were still discussing it when Naruto stalked into the kitchen, a guilty-looking Lee following close on his heels.

"Iruka-sensei," Naruto scowled, "Sasuke kicked us out of his room!"

Sakura gasped, and Iruka sent her a quick look before frowning at Naruto. He wasn't sure what to make of the complaint. "It is his room," he reminded him. "If he doesn't want company, that's his choice."

Lee hung his head. "It's my fault. I told him what we suspected of him." He sent a guilty look at Sakura. "He was very upset."

"Oh, no," Sakura cringed. "Lee, you shouldn't have done that!"

"I realize that now..."

"I want permission to break his door down," Naruto told Iruka. "It's not right that he's blaming me just because they thought he was some sadistic rapist abusing me."

Iruka choked, his face turning nearly as red as Sakura's. "What?"

"Naruto!" Sakura wailed. "How could you be such a tattle? I hate you!" She bolted from the room with tears in her eyes.

Naruto flushed and looked after her guiltily. "I wasn't trying to-"

"Naruto," Iruka said firmly, catching his arm. "Let's discuss this in private."

"I will speak with her," Lee assured Naruto. "It is my fault, after all. I contributed to the misunderstanding and failed in my attempt to explain and apologize for it."

"You really did," Naruto sighed, his shoulders slumping. "But it's not your fault Sasuke's so difficult. Tell Sakura I'm sorry."

"You can tell her yourself later," said Iruka. "Come on. Let's go to my office." He was a little exasperated to find Kiba hovering just outside the door. He had no doubt Ino had been with him before taking off after Sakura. "If you're going to eavesdrop you should at least be careful that you're not caught at it."

"I wasn't!" Kiba flushed badly. "I was, uh, just going to see if you needed any help, is all."

"Good. In that case you can finish the dishes. Thank you for offering." He flashed him a tight smile before pulling Naruto down the hall. A few steps later he looked back. "You can help him," he said to Lee, who was following right along with them.

"Oh," Lee blinked in surprise. "Certainly."

They picked up another shadow at the stairs. Since this involved Sasuke, Iruka supposed Kakashi had a right to join them. He would rather have sent him to the kitchen with the other two, though. He didn't like the odd looks Kakashi kept sending him. Naruto started dragging his feet as soon as they got upstairs. When they reached Sasuke's room he latched onto the doorknob and refused to be conned another step.

"He's alone in there," Naruto said, wincing under Iruka's reproving gaze. "He blocked the door and he can't hear me when I knock. He could be going to sleep in there. Kakashi said he's not supposed to!" He turned to Kakashi for support and scowled when the man merely raised an eyebrow at him. "Do something!"

"Such as?" Kakashi drawled.

"Tell Iruka-sensei to let me break the door down."

"You are not breaking the door," Iruka sighed. "Just come into my office so we can discuss this."

"There's nothing to discuss," Naruto insisted. "It was just a big misunderstanding. I had it all cleared up until they heard me yelling last night. But I cleared that up, too, so everything would have been fine if Lee hadn't told him about it. Now he's blaming me and that's totally unfair. It's not my fault he won't just talk to them himself."

"Stand aside," said Kakashi. He gave the kid a push when he was reluctant to obey. He removed the soundproofing and rapped lightly on the door. "Open up, Sasuke," he said quietly. "If you don't let Iruka take a look at you, it could be a week before you can use the sharingan again." Naruto's mouth dropped open, and he raised a finger over his clothed lips. Something scraped lightly over the floor, a chair from the sound of it, and then the door opened. He beamed when a narrow blood-shot eye peered out at him.

"What are you talking about?" Sasuke demanded. "Naruto said it would wear off in a few hours."

"That's what I told him," Kakashi confirmed cheerfully. "I lied. If you force yourself to activate the sharingan right now you'll put yourself into a coma. Then you'll sleep right through your brother's visit. I doubt he'd appreciate that, though you might." Sasuke backed away, looking every bit as stricken and horrified as he had expected. Kakashi let himself in, holding the door for Iruka and Naruto. He only let the latter in to avoid the tantrum he would likely throw if forced to wait in the hall. Once they were inside he shut the door and redid the soundproofing. As far as he was concerned the less Sai overheard from this room the better.

"What's wrong with me?'" Sasuke asked warily.

"You're not a mutant," Kakashi explained as if telling him something he didn't already know. He pushed the band off his left eye and nodded. "The drug we gave you last night has smothered any natural energy you had. It's nothing to worry about, though. Iruka will give you a quick boost and you'll be as good as new."

Iruka didn't care for his tone any more than Sasuke did. He sent him a reproachful look and then waved Sasuke to sit on the edge of the bed. "I'm just going to transfer enough energy for you to activate the sharingan. It's the least I can do since it's my fault for letting them give you that drug in the first place."

"It was my idea," Naruto reminded him. "I didn't think it would hurt anything." He folded his arms over his chest, scowling at Kakashi. "You should have told me."

"And what?" Kakashi drawled. "You would have beaten him unconscious instead? You couldn't even restrain him without my assistance."

"If you're going to argue, do it somewhere else," Iruka snapped at the two of them. Anyone with eyes could see how disturbed Sasuke was. He almost looked frightened. Kakashi and Naruto quieted, though only Naruto looked appropriately abashed. Iruka sat on the bed, frowning over at Kakashi. "Don't let me give him too much. I don't want to risk his talents getting out of control."

"I wouldn't worry about that."

"You might not, but I do," Iruka said firmly. He indicated for Sasuke to face him and placed his palms gently over his eyes. The transfer went smoothly, but then it always did for him. If anything he was worried that it might go too smoothly since he hadn't taken a second pill last night. He wasn't feeling at all dizzy when Kakashi told him to stop.

Kakashi looked them over carefully and then nodded. "Give it a try, Sasuke."

"Let me see," Naruto said quickly, edging in beside him.

Sasuke turned toward their voices and activated the sharingan. When he opened his eyes the first thing he saw was Naruto, then blackness, then fire and teeth bearing down on him. He recoiled, throwing his arms up in front of him to ward it off. His palms tingled as he thrust the thing away from him, and for a moment he thought he was hallucinating again. Then blackness swept over him and he realized there was a hand covering his eyes.

"Take it down a notch," Kakashi said sharply. He removed his hand cautiously and stepped back when Sasuke blinked up at him with his normal sharingan. "Sorry," he said over his shoulder to Iruka. "I guess I did let you give him a little too much."

"You guess?" Iruka snapped, glaring at him as he ran a concerned hand over Naruto's shoulders. Sasuke had barely looked at Naruto and he had collapsed from it. Even now Naruto's expression was dazed and visibly confused. "Are you all right?"

"Kyuubi isn't," Naruto murmured slowly. The fox was huddled in his cage, singed and letting out furious waves. Naruto shook his head, blinking at Sasuke. "What did you do to him?"

"That was Kyuubi?" Sasuke grimaced, wishing he had gotten a closer look before reacting. "I didn't know. When I saw the teeth I thought it was another hallucination."

Naruto slowly rose, surprised that physically he felt just fine. Inside he felt shaken. He didn't remember falling down. All he had seen was the strange star-like pattern in Sasuke's eyes, the same one he had used while mimicking his creepy brother that time. Then he had felt horribly cornered and Kyuubi had rushed forward only to be met with...something. "I think you made him explode..."

"What?" Sasuke asked sharply. "Your energy looks fine."

"Yeah," Naruto frowned. "I feel fine. And he's not damaged or anything. At least, I don't think he is. You just did something to him. Blew him up so he had to reform in the cage. I think you hurt him."

"I didn't mean to."

"Of course you didn't," Kakashi said dismissively, interrupting the two. "You just used a little more energy than you're used to. We'll leave you two to work this out." He caught Iruka's arm and tugged him out of the room before he could argue. He wasn't surprised when the man turned on him the moment they reached hall.

"What was that?" Iruka demanded. "If his energy is out of control we shouldn't leave him to-"

"His energy is a little higher than normal, but not at all out of control. He just used more than he needed at first. He's fine now. You don't really want to be in there while they make up, do you? I didn't take you for a voyeur."

Iruka flushed irritably. "I wish you would take this more seriously."

"You could stand to have a little levity," Kakashi returned easily. "By the way, your phone is ringing. That's probably more important than watching our kids make out."

Iruka flushed and bristled, then he put his nose in the air and stalked past him without a word. With amusement, Kakashi watched him shut himself in his office. Then he went over to rap on the girls' door. He wasn't surprised to be met by a furiously protective Ino.

"What do you want?" she glared, filling the cracked door so he wouldn't catch sight of Sakura. It was bad enough she had cried without anyone seeing her eyes all red and puffy.

"I decided I was too hard on you girls this morning. It's not your fault no one has seen fit to explain anything to you. The fact is, Sasuke has an insane homicidal brother who likes to make his life a living hell. If you care to ask him I'm sure he'll tell you all about it, if only to keep you from jumping to any other wrong conclusions. If you'd rather not speak to him directly, I suggest you just leave him alone until Sai leaves. Everything should be over by then."

"What do you mean?"

Kakashi smiled pleasantly, saying the one thing guaranteed to send them running straight to Sasuke despite their reservations. He did so like to meddle. "I mean that by the time Sai leaves Sasuke will be gone, dead, or in a much better mood. However it turns out, things should be much quieter around here in a few days. So try not to worry too much about anything that happens in the meantime. There's no point taking it personally when it has nothing to do with you." Ignoring her stunned expression, he turned on his heel and disappeared into his own room.

He predicted it would take less than an hour for one or both of them to storm Sasuke's room. That should ensure the boys were interrupted before they could get into another tiff, and it was no less than what Sasuke or Iruka should have done days ago. If they weren't careful, Naruto wouldn't be the only one of Iruka's kids getting caught up in the mess when Itachi arrived. He was confident Sasuke would realize that and shut down their nosy concern before it got them killed. Iruka would thank him for that later, once he realized what Itachi was really coming here for. Contrary to his assumption, Kakashi was taking this very seriously. He was simply enjoying himself while he was at it.

.-.

"I think he's more upset that you were afraid of him than he is about you throwing him back in his own territory," said Naruto. "You're the first person other than me who has seen him." Aside from the people he had killed, and maybe that old man at the mall. Unlike them, Kyuubi had wanted Sasuke to see him. It was no wonder he was so upset now.

'I am not upset,' Kyuubi hissed furiously. 'Don't tell him things like that. He caught me by surprise, that's all. I wasn't expecting him to jump into your mind that way, let alone that he would be able to affect me physically. If his brother can do the same thing we'll both be left snarling at him from inside this cage.'

"You hurt his feelings," Naruto said quietly. Although it was undoubtedly true, he mostly said it because he was enjoying the warm embrace Sasuke was giving him. He was quickly learning that Sasuke was much more tactile when he felt guilty about something. After the way Sasuke had thrown him out of here earlier he thought he deserved some affection. This was much better than an apology. Kyuubi would get over it eventually.

"He didn't strike me as the sort to have his feelings hurt," Sasuke commented. In fact, he would have thought the fox was the type to angrily dare him to try that again. Or to mock him for reacting with fear at a mere glimpse of him. He eyed the bushy blonde hair burrowed against his chest with growing suspicion. "Are you sure you aren't the one upset?"

"No," Naruto said quickly. "I know you didn't do it on purpose." He knew his eager tone had given him away when Sasuke abruptly released him. He tried to put a surprised and hurt look on his face, but he suspected what came out was more of a disappointed pout. 'Shut up,' he snapped to the mocking fox in his head. 'I was this close to making out with him. That's what you've been wanting all morning.'

'I wanted you to jump him, not guilt trip him into jumping you. Be glad you're such a bad actor. If you had him buying that spiel about me I would make you regret it.' All he had to do was tell him about Iruka and Kakashi. That would ruin his entire life, much less his day.

Sasuke went over to lean against the desk. He should have known. He folded his arms over his chest and scowled at Naruto. "Did I hurt Kyuubi at all, or were you just saying that so I would forget about earlier?"

"You really did blow him up," Naruto insisted stubbornly. He wasn't about to have Sasuke viewing him as a liar. He might have exaggerated a little, but only because Kyuubi was too proud to admit that he was upset at having his first face-to-face meeting with Sasuke turn out the way it had. 'He thought he was seeing things,' he reminded him, ignoring his denial of any hurt feelings. 'You have to admit your teeth are big and sharp enough to scare anyone who isn't expecting it.' To Sasuke, he insisted, "Kyuubi's too set on not having feelings to admit when they're hurt. I know he looks a little singed, though, and he won't come out of his cage so you must have hit him pretty hard."

"You keep him in a cage?" Sasuke couldn't keep his distaste from sounding in his voice. "Since when?"

"No, I don't keep him there. Though sometimes it would be nice if I could." Naruto winced from the mental slash Kyuubi gave him for that. 'Sometimes you deserve it and you know it.' The fox was still skulking angrily in the back of his head, but at least that had conned him out of the cage. "Kyuubi made the cage after we were controlled by that mutant. Nothing can touch us in there. I'm not sure what you did when you ran into him, but he popped up in the cage afterward. When he's in there even I can't make him come out if he doesn't want to."

"I think I made contact with his energy," Sasuke frowned, remembering the way his hands had tingled. "Since he has no physical body it must have been our energy that clashed." He wondered if his had overpowered Kyuubi's or if he had merely taken him by surprise. Kyuubi's energy had burned his away when Naruto had tried to heal his arm. Maybe it was different when he was in direct contact via the sharingan. That didn't bode well for Naruto. What he had done was just a clumsy hint of what Itachi was capable of. He would have warned him if he wasn't certain that would just drive Naruto to prove him wrong. "Tell me more about this cage."

"It has bars and you have to be inside it to imagine doors." Naruto blinked and shifted awkwardly as he found nothing else to say about it. 'How does it work?' he asked Kyuubi.

'It just does. Tell him to try breaking in here again and I'll show him how well it works.'

"Kyuubi says he'll show you how it works if you want to try that again. I don't think you should, though. He's been in a weird mood all day, so he might be up to something."

"I have no intention of doing that again." Even with Naruto's permission there was no telling what might happen. He counted himself lucky that neither he nor Kyuubi had suffered damage as it was. He gave a mocking sniff when Naruto looked as if he wanted to argue about it. "You have enough personalities in your head as it is. If you want another, go ask Ino."

Kyuubi jumped at that, rushing forward to press hard on Naruto's back. 'Ask her. In here I could do things to her that would never be possible with your body. And it will be no more than she deserves for attempting to control us by coming in here to begin with.'

'Stop it,' Naruto glared. 'I'm not cheating on Sasuke even if it is just in my head. Besides, in case you didn't notice she has a serious hate of dogs. She'd take one look at you and run screaming from the house, you overgrown mutt.'

'She wouldn't make it one step. I'd catch her with my tails and...' He let the images speak for themselves.

"Naruto," Sasuke said sharply. Naruto's face was nearly as red as his own eyes, and he was shocked to see him sporting a tent in his pants. He had seemed normal just a few seconds ago. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"It's not my fault," Naruto blurted, coming back to himself in a flash. He squirmed under Sasuke's shocked stare, putting his hands over his lap. "Kyuubi is being a perverted bastard. He's been like this all morning. I don't know what's wrong with him."

Sasuke forced himself to look away. He couldn't protect Naruto from his own fox. This was something they would have to work out on their own. Yet he couldn't help wanting to go back in there and punch the pervert in that oversized snout of his. "Is he...doing things to you?"

"Ew! Of course not! He's imagining doing things to, um..." He didn't want to admit the fox was fantasizing about Ino, let alone that the images were affecting him.

'Appreciating something sexy doesn't make you unfaithful,' Kyuubi scoffed. 'For instance, this is sexy as hell.' He quickly incorporated Sasuke into the fantasy, giving him a dominant role over the girl that suited him better than even Kyuubi liked to admit. He grinned evilly when Naruto whimpered. 'Is that jealousy I hear, or lust?'

Naruto pushed the image away as forcefully as he could. He hated that part of him liked the sight. 'Stop it, Kyuubi! I don't want him touching her or anyone else. It's not hot, it's wrong! You might as well imagine him kissing Kakashi. That's how wrong it is!' He was startled when the image vanished, leaving only an enraged Kyuubi in its wake.

'I'll kill him before I let him have Sasuke, too. Sasuke is mine.' The thought of what that man had already done to Iruka was so infuriating that he didn't realize he was projecting until Naruto wailed. He abruptly found himself abandoned in the back of Naruto's mind. So much for not telling him...

With his fox a traitor, Naruto threw himself on the only person he had left. He grabbed Sasuke by the arms and shook him frantically. "Kakashi defiled Iruka-sensei!" he wailed miserably. "And Kyuubi knew about it! My beautiful statue is in ashes!"

Sasuke's eye twitched as he stared dumbly at the teary-eyed blonde. He couldn't pretend to be surprised that Kakashi had finally gotten his way with the man. He felt sorry for Iruka, but the man had seemed perfectly normal earlier, so Kakashi couldn't have traumatized him too badly. Naruto was still shaking him, so he forced himself to say something. "I'm sorry...?" That must have been the correct response because Naruto slumped against him, sniffling pitifully.

"Poor Iruka-sensei," Naruto whimpered. "If only I had met him sooner he would never have had sex and then he wouldn't have been tempted by that conniving pervert. He could do so much better. It was such a beautiful statue, it really was. Now it's ruined...!"

Sasuke awkwardly patted Naruto on the back. "I'm sure he'll survive," he offered weakly. "Maybe you can repair your statue after Kakashi leaves." That came out a little more positive-sounding, considering he didn't know what the hell Naruto was talking about. He flinched when he suddenly found himself pushed away so hard that he struck the side of the desk. Naruto was baring his teeth, his eyes as dangerous as they were blue.

"Oh, no," Naruto growled furiously, "he's not going anywhere. No one fucks with my sensei and then just walks away. His balls are staying right here whether the rest of him does or not. I'll stick them in the freezer. Yeah. Then the next time some perverted bastard starts sniffing around here I can pull them out to show them what happened to the last guy who touched my sensei. That's perfect."

"You need help, Naruto. Psychiatric help."

"And I know just where to get it. Stay here, Sasuke. I'm going to take care of this right now." He stalked over and wrenched the door open. He was so set on ripping Kakashi a new one and giving Iruka a stern talking to that he barely even noticed the startled girls who stumbled out of his way. Kyuubi was trying to talk him down, and he snarled at the traitorous fox, blaming him entirely for having allowed this to happen. They were supposed to protect Iruka, not stand by while some sneaky mask-wearing pervert defiled him in his own house.

Ino edged toward the open door to peer warily in at Sasuke. She kept a tight hold on Sakura, who was trying desperately to retreat. Naruto slammed the door to Iruka's office and she couldn't help flinching. "Um, is he mad that we interrupted you?" Maybe she shouldn't have knocked so hard on the door.

"No," said Sasuke. "He's just insane. Now isn't a good time to talk to him."

"He's not the one we wanted to talk to, anyway." She dragged Sakura into the room and shut the door behind them so she wouldn't be able to dart back out. "So," she started smartly, smiling at Sasuke. "What's this about you having a crazy brother? Is there anything we can do to help?"

Just like that, any sympathy Sasuke might have felt for Kakashi vanished. No one else could be responsible for this.

.-.

Iruka was late picking Hiko up for the drive to the airport. It had taken him a long time to calm Naruto down. In the end he thought it had gone over much better than he had expected. That silly game had introduced Naruto to the idea of him being a sexually experienced adult. All he'd had to do was reinforce that firmly and patiently. He was surprised to find Kyuubi supported his right to make his own decisions. They had spent a good while comforting Naruto. He was a very idealistic boy, and this was a major loss of innocence for him. Although Iruka felt guilty about that, he knew Naruto was old enough to deal with the reality of the situation. Eventually. For now he left confident that Naruto would not be attempting to mutilate Kakashi in the next few hours so there would be no macabre trophies in his freezer when he returned.

Hiko was suspicious about the delay. Iruka had just hung up after promising to be right over when Naruto barged into his office. He spent most of the long drive to Sisco explaining the situation with Sasuke. He was so relieved that Bunchu had made it back in time that he didn't mind the lecture Hiko gave him for letting Sai into the house. That seemed to disturb him a lot more than the prospect of Sasuke's brother showing up.

"For all you know he could be planning to kill the lot of you in your sleep," Hiko grimaced. "What makes you think anything he's told you is even true? So they knew about the Hyuuga kid coming. Lots of people know about that. It's a matter of public record. That's the only thing you have to base any of their bullshit on. You're playing right into their hands."

"If so, then Bunchu can confirm it," Iruka shrugged. "Sai has a terrible attitude, but he hasn't caused any trouble so far. They could just as easily have sent him posing as a mutant with nowhere to go instead of admitting he's a spy. I wouldn't have known any better."

"That just proves my point. Naruto might be off his rockers with that fox of his, but he's right about you checking out the kids you take in. Just because they're young doesn't mean they're harmless. Have you picked up any others since you got back?"

"Just Lee. He's as harmless as they come." Iruka sighed as he listened to Hiko voice his doubts about that. It was just as well that Hiko didn't know Lee had been jailed before arriving at the house. "I'm not being reckless," he insisted. "I haven't taken in anyone aside from Sai that I don't feel comfortable dealing with, and he won't be staying. Anyway, why didn't you tell me last night that Bunchu would be arriving today?" Knowing that might have spared both him and Naruto this morning's drama.

"I called you as soon as I found out they were here. I don't think they arrived today, though. Tenka said the coast was clear for them to be picked up. My guess is they've been here for a while, just waiting to make sure they weren't followed or whatever. I really wish Tenka would stop getting involved in this stuff."

Iruka smiled knowingly. "You wouldn't say that if you had seen the kids he helped rescue. If I had offensive talents like his, I'd gladly join him. He's fighting the good fight."

"I don't want to hear it," Hiko muttered, turning to glare out the passenger window. Iruka wasn't the one who would have to make it up to Bunchu for sending him off to rescue Tenka's ass again. For someone 'fighting the good fight' he sure didn't accomplish much without getting himself into trouble. "You're too set on having your little house of mutants to go roaming, anyway. If you had a lick of sense you'd just marry a mutant and start making your own instead of adopting the strays like this."

Iruka couldn't help but recall that Kakashi had commented on the same thing. He promptly pushed that out of his mind. "I prefer the strays. They're much more interesting."

"Difficult, you mean."

"Do you remember what Tenka was like as a baby?" Iruka asked curiously, as if he hadn't heard the horror stories.

"Okay, point taken. Don't remind me of that. He never stopped squalling and the mess, ugh, I swear mutant babies are a lot stronger than normal ones. Their diapers should come with locks to keep the damned things on." The memory of the smell was so strong he had to roll down the window. His exwife had been so proud of how quickly Tenka had taken to potty training, but as far as his own apartment was concerned it had come two years too late. He still didn't know how she had managed to keep her own home so immaculate. Compared to the filthy little finger-painter he had been, Tenka was an angel now. Which was probably the reason Iruka had brought it up. Hiko glowered out the window, refusing to give him the satisfaction of knowing his tactic had worked.

The reunion wasn't nearly as awkward as Iruka had feared. His presence helped, as did the young man they had with them. Tenka was too busy introducing him and telling about the dispersal of the other kids to say anything that would set his father off. For his part, Hiko was too busy trying to hide his annoyed affection to start lecturing him right away. They met in the airport parking garage, but judging by their bags they hadn't just arrived. Tenka quickly confirmed that.

"We heard all about the spies you had hanging around, so we had to wait until they left. Is it true you kept one?"

"He's only staying for a few more days," Iruka sighed. He knew better than to ask where Tenka had received his information. "Does this mean you'll be avoiding the house until he's gone?"

"Nah, one of them I can handle. We just didn't want to bring Shino in with a whole group of them nosing around. You have room for another, right? His parents are both first generation, so he's not safe at home."

"We no longer have a home because they destroyed it," the young man corrected him. "My parents are living out of hotels now. They'd rather I didn't."

"You're welcome to stay as long as you like," Iruka assured him. He did his best not to stare. The boy was very tall despite Tenka's insistence that he was only sixteen. He had thick bushy black hair cut into a flat top, circular black sunglasses, and a pale trenchcoat with a collar high enough to hide the lower half of his face. He stood out nearly as badly as Kakashi would have, though it was hard to tell if he noticed or cared. His hands were hidden in his coat pockets, but Iruka spotted a bit of bandaging on his wrists. "Have you recovered from your injuries?"

"He'll be fine," Tenka said quickly, before the boy could speak for himself. "I'll tell you all about it later. Let's get out of here. We've been holed up in this town for days and I'm dying for something other than take-out." He snatched up two of their bags and prodded Iruka to lead the way to his car. "Do you have a grill? This is perfect weather for a barbecue."

Hiko sent him a reproving look. "Iruka has enough going on at his place without throwing a party for you."

"Yeah?" Tenka challenged. "Like what?"

"We don't need to get into that right now," Iruka winced. He didn't want to have this discussion in front of Shino. Unfortunately Hiko was eager to tell them all about the trouble he had gotten himself into. He spent most of the car ride back defending himself.

.-.

Kyuubi was tired of being reasonable. It didn't suit him nearly as well as it did Iruka. And, to be perfectly honest, he saw nothing wrong with mutilating Kakashi a little. Although he accepted Iruka's choice that didn't mean Kakashi deserved to walk away completely unscathed. He just thought they should make sure Iruka was done with the man before tearing off any bits Iruka might have a use for. He realized that line of reasoning wouldn't work on Naruto the moment he said it. He was left watching in annoyance as Naruto promptly succumbed to dry heaves at the thought of Iruka anywhere near those particular 'bits'. 'You really need to grow up.'

'No one should have to grow up this fast,' Naruto shot back at him. Kyuubi was too heartless to possibly understand what he was going through. 'This is like those kids in the movies who walk in on their parents having sex. I'm allowed to be traumatized for life.' The worst part was that he had actually started to like Kakashi a little. If he weren't careful he might even start to understand why Iruka had chosen to mess around with him. He refused to let that happen. 'Just leave me alone. I have every right to be miserable.'

'I liked it better when you were angry,' Kyuubi admitted. 'If you want to confront him, I'll help.'

'Sure you will, now that it's too late.'

Kyuubi scoffed at the sarcasm. 'I didn't see you offering to sleep with Iruka instead of Sasuke last night. Stop being jealous just because he got some and we didn't.'

'That's disgusting!' Naruto wailed.

'No, unfair is what it is. Just like it's unfair that I'm stuck in this office watching you sulk while those bitches in heat are in there sniffing around my mate. If he ends up smelling like them I'm going to take it out on your hide.'

'As if you don't get off on the idea of him messing around with them. You can't have it both ways.' He knew Kyuubi was just trying to make him jealous or curious enough to go see what Sasuke was really doing with the girls. He wasn't going to fall for it. Sasuke wasn't the cheating sort any more than he was.

'He may not be, but he wouldn't have a choice in the matter if Ino used that talent of hers. Giving him a chance to impregnate her is very different from letting her molest him. Or using his body to molest that pink-haired one with the mouth I'd like to-'

"Don't say it!" Naruto didn't realize he had yelled out loud until he heard the way his voice echoed in Iruka's empty office. His fox was now sulking in the back of his head, which suited him just fine. He deserved to lose a few tails for what he had just been thinking. 'I swear, Kyuubi, if you don't stop being such a wanna-be rapist I really will find a way to lock you in that cage. It's bad enough you lust after everyone I know without you being sadistic about it.'

'Not everyone,' Kyuubi snapped, very insulted. 'Just the fuckable ones. You'd be frustrated, too, if you were trapped in a child's head with the reek of sex all around you. Even this couch stinks of it.'

With a yelp, Naruto shot off the couch. 'They did it in here?'

'They might as well have. Kakashi and Iruka have been leaving that smell everywhere they go. You have no idea how hard it was to keep you from noticing when Kakashi first came down this morning. You should be thanking me. I only hid it for the sake of your sanity and because Sasuke's safety was more important. It still is. Whether you consider those girls a threat or not, they certainly aren't capable of protecting him.'

'Now that I can agree with.' As upset as he was that Kyuubi hadn't told him right away he had to admit that he wouldn't have wanted to be distracted first thing this morning. He couldn't have dealt with that traumatizing mess on top of his worry for Sasuke. 'Is that why you've been such a hornball all morning? The smell?'

'The smell of Iruka. You don't want to know the sort of things it makes me imagine. I suppose I could have turned my thoughts toward Kakashi instead, but he isn't really my type.'

'Please don't,'' Naruto cringed queasily. 'There's only so much mental scarring I can take in one day.' He left the office, marching past Kakashi's room without so much as a glance at the closed door. He would have it out with him whether Iruka liked it or not. Right now Sasuke was more important than revenge.

He opened the door without knocking and was only slightly disturbed by the sight of Ino lounging comfortably on his boyfriend's bed. Sakura was sitting in Sasuke's chair, with Sasuke standing a foot away and leaning against the desk, looking resigned and annoyed. Naruto immediately smiled at him. He had known Sasuke wasn't the type to cheat even if the girls had been bold enough to tempt him, which Ino most definitely was.

Sakura stood up when he entered the room, fixing him with a stern frown. "Naruto, you had no right to humiliate me in front of Iruka the way you did. But now that I understand the stress you've been under, I forgive you. Sasuke, please let me know if there's anything I can do to help." If he needed someone to keep Naruto distracted, and thus safe, it was the least she could do for misjudging him so badly. She was certain Lee and Kiba would lend a hand as well once they realized what was really going on around here. She started for the door only to stop when she realized Ino hadn't budged. "Let's go, Ino."

"Go ahead without me," Ino waved dismissively. "I'm going to visit a while longer." She smiled flirtatiously at Sasuke, something she had noticed made him distinctly uncomfortable. He didn't know how to deal with girls. She would never have guessed it from that scary first encounter, but he actually seemed reluctant to come too close to them. Now she was confident he wouldn't attempt to physically remove her from his bed even if she were to make herself more comfortable than she already was.

Sasuke looked away from the girl batting her eyes at him from his own bed, and glared at Naruto. He was the one who had insisted he couldn't treat girls the same way he would have treated anyone else. Judging by Naruto's furrowed brows he was too busy arguing with his fox to be of any help. Sasuke turned to the only other person in the room. Sakura got his silent message and, being a girl herself, was apparently allowed to be as rude and forceful as necessary. He watched enviously as she marched over and yanked Ino off his bed. Ino was still indignantly complaining about Sakura's high-handed low-browed manhandling when he shut the door behind them.

"A lot of help you are," he muttered at Naruto as he went over and opened his window. He didn't know why the girls smelled like mangos, but it was officially his least favorite fruit.

"What are you doing?" Naruto asked curiously. Sasuke was stripping his bed while sending him quick heated glares. 'What's so funny?' he demanded of Kyuubi, who was snickering in amusement.

'He doesn't want to smell like them any more than I want him to. You should have let me run her off for him. I'm sure with a little coaxing he would have shown some...gratitude.'

'As if I'd let you anywhere near Ino right now,' Naruto scoffed. He watched Sasuke toss his bedding in a pile on the floor and then flip the mattress. 'Wow. He's even more anal about the smell than you are. Shut up,' he snapped when Kyuubi instantly jumped on his word choice. 'I just meant he either really hates their fruity hair stuff or he hates girls in general. I think it smells nice, myself...'

'Certainly better than them stinking of rat,' Kyuubi allowed.

Sasuke snatched the wad of bedding and thrust it into Naruto's arms. Since he was intent on taking up space he might as well make himself useful. "Go wash that."

"What? I'm not your maid!"

"No, but you're the reaon I couldn't throw Ino out before she had a chance to rub herself all over my bed. If you don't want me intimidating the girls, you can clean up after them. Otherwise the next time Ino goes near my bed I'll throw her out of the room the same way I did to you and Lee earlier."

"You better not try that on one of the girls," Naruto scowled. "It's bad enough you did it to Lee. That hurt, you know."

"It was supposed to. Now go."

'Doormat,' Kyuubi snorted, when Naruto grudgingly turned to go.

'Shut up. As soon as this mess with his brother is finished I'll show him he can't order me around. Just you wait.' He stopped at the door to scowl back at Sasuke. "Don't even think about blocking the door or I'm coming in the window."

"Good luck with that."

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Shikamaru received a strange look from Naruto when their paths crossed on the stairs. Considering the wadded blanket and sheet Naruto was carrying he could have returned the look with interest. Naruto hadn't struck him as a bed-wetter, but he supposed one could never really tell about things like that. He crisscrossed the hall rapping on doors until one was opened by a bleary-eyed Sai. He would have thought a self-proclaimed spy could pull an all-nighter without looking as sleep-deprived as that. Apparently not. Shikamaru didn't bother beating around the bush. "I need a secure line."

Sai blinked, looked him over from head to toe, and then blinked again. His head tilted to the side and he smiled curiously. "Was he any good? He doesn't look like he'd be very good, too stiff and reserved. Although, once his hair is messed up I suppose he might be-"

"Yeah, yeah," Shikamaru muttered as he pushed past him and into the room. That distracted Sai enough for him to stop pretending he hadn't heard him. The door closed behind him as he eyed Sai's set-up. He had seen better, but it would do. He sat down at the desk and helped himself to his computer.

"What makes you think I have a secure line?" asked Sai. For once he didn't have to feign anything. Both his curiosity and amusement were genuine.

"What makes you think I had sex with Neji?" Shikamaru tossed back. He didn't mind being watched as he typed in the codes that put his current location out there. Even if Sai memorized and deciphered the numbers, it wasn't as if he ever used the same code twice.

"We know all about you," Sai informed him. "You have a death wish. Umino might very well kick you out of his house if he knew what you're involved in." He was disappointed when Shikamaru didn't even bother looking back at him. "Maybe I'll tell him myself."

"Go right ahead," Shikamaru drawled. "While you're being honest, don't forget to tell Uchiha Itachi that you kissed his little brother. With tongue." He caught Sai stiffening out of the corner of his eye and felt his lips twitch. For a member of such a troublesome group, Sai really wasn't that bright. "A person can't stay in this house without hearing things, whether he wants to or not. You have bigger things to worry about than me."

"I'm not worried about you," Sai said, his voice smug and taunting. "We're not even the slightest bit interested in you. Frankly, you're no more than a flea biting a lion. There aren't enough of your kind to do any significant damage."

"And yet here you are threatening me." Although he had expected that, he was surprised by the lack of subtlety. If he had known Sai was that easy, he wouldn't have bothered setting him up with that kiss last night. "I'll be out of your hair in a minute. Go back to taunting me about Neji. That was amusing. You almost sounded jealous."

"Hyuuga won't join you," Sai said sharply. "He won't join anyone. He doesn't want anything to do with being a mutant and he never will. If there was any chance of that, we'd have him already. You're wasting your time."

"I don't consider any time well spent a waste," Shikamaru commented. Definitely jealous. He wasn't surprised the Order wanted Neji, but he hadn't expected Sai to want him, too. Maybe he had a thing for the dark and silent pretty types. "Does Itachi look anything like Sasuke?" That would explain a few things.

"What makes you use his name so casually when you don't know the answer to that?"

"I have ears. I can also read. It's just fascinating what you can learn by reading. You should try it some time." He suspected he would be doing a lot of reading once his contact finished copying everything from Sai's computer and the database it was currently connected to. Just the thought of that much work made him sleepy. "Oz has had their eyes on Itachi for years. Of course I've run across the name. They probably know more about him than you do."

"Impossible."

"Because they share information with you?" Shikamaru turned to raise an eyebrow at him. "You don't really believe they're sharing all of their information with you. Do you?" Although Sai's face gave nothing away, his silence spoke volumes. He might not be good at the job he had been given here, but he wasn't entirely stupid. Good for him. Shikamaru turned the computer off and then stood and caught his eye. "I'm not your enemy, you know."

"You're not qualified to be anyone's enemy," Sai said dismissively. "You're just another-"

"Flea," Shikamaru sighed. "Yes, I heard you the first time."

"Fleas are a nuisance, though. I might still tell Umino about you before I leave. There won't be anything to stop me then."

And still with the threats? The guy was downright tiresome. "You would just be admitting that your Order knew all about that facility and the torture taking place there without making any effort to help."

"You're one to talk about effort," Sai smiled pleasantly. "Is it really that hard to starve yourself to death?"

"Try it sometime."

Since Shikamaru didn't look back, Sai didn't bother maintaining his smile. It hadn't seemed to annoy the boy, anyway. Nothing he said had, which was odd. He hoped he wasn't suffering a twinge of conscience. That wouldn't look good on his report. He sat at his desk and turned the computer back on. The loading screen froze just seconds in, then the hard drive shut itself back off. Sai closed his eyes. He probably should have seen that coming. With a long sigh, he drew out his sketchpad to make a functional duplicate. Maybe getting fired wouldn't be so bad. At least he would never get assigned another recording task. If he seriously considered switching teams he might even have Kanda's group sent to dispose of him. Beating some humility into that one would almost make it worthwhile.

.-.

"Are we in agreement, then?" Sakura asked her troops. And they were her troops. While Ino might know her way around the kitchen, and the bedroom to hear her talk, Sakura was definitely the brains of their pair.

"I want no part of it," Neji said flatly.

Sakura did her best to glare him into submission with no visible results. He had only been included because Lee had spotted him coming out of his room and snagged him before he could disappear back into it. Since this meeting was taking place in Lee's room it hadn't seemed polite to argue with him. Now she wished she had screwed politeness and stuck to her guns. "If you're not going to help, then you can leave."

Lee caught Neji's wrist before he could rise from his spot in the tightly seated circle. "You might change your mind," he said earnestly.

"Don't count on it," said Neji. He did sit back down, though. If he was going to be living in this house he might as well know what was going on in it. The fact that they intended to include Hinata in their plan was another reason to hear the rest. She must still be chopping her hair off because none of them seemed to realize they were related. That implied she hadn't changed much since the last time he had seen her and made him resent having to see her again. He didn't want any part of that, either.

"What if distracting him isn't enough?" asked Kiba. "Are we going to resort to force?" That would be much easier for him than intentionally flirting with Hinata. Actually, if he flirted too much he and Naruto would probably end up fighting anyway. Naruto was awfully possessive of her for someone with a boyfriend.

"It might come to that," Sakura admitted. "I'll have to warn Hinata about the plan to make sure she doesn't misunderstand, so her reactions might not be enough to keep his full attention."

"That's where I'll come in," Ino smirked. "If he tries to bolt, you hold him down," she said to Kiba, "and I'll take over and keep him down."

Lee actually winced. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"It's not," Sakura snapped, frowning at Ino. "If Kyuubi is anything like my internal personality, you could end up trapped in his mind. There's no telling what that beast might do to you."

"I'm sure he's not a real fox," Ino started, her tone very patronizing.

"I'm pretty sure he is," Kiba put in. "Tails and all."

As they bickered about the true identity, and threat level, of Naruto's parasite, Lee turned to Neji. "Is Shikamaru still asleep?"

Kiba snorted and then coughed to cover his red face. Lee had asked just the right person, too. There was way too much sex going on in this house. Poor Akamaru was beside himself to the point where Kiba actually felt sorry for the neighborhood bitches. Not that they had much right to complain considering the scents they were putting out to lure his friend in. Akamaru was going to stink so bad by the time he came home that he would have to give him another bath.

Ino scowled at Neji, and at Lee for asking him that question. They might be roommates for now, but she still fully intended to fix that. "I'll inform Shikamaru of his role." And make sure his lazy ass assumed that role whether he liked it or not. She had never heard of anyone sleeping as much as he did. It couldn't possibly be healthy.

"His talents would be useful," Kiba admitted. Shikamaru certainly hadn't had any trouble holding Naruto in place last night. "But if we're going to resort to that, why not just do it from the start? Shikamaru could drop him off somewhere at the first sign of trouble and pick him back up when it's all over." He suddenly found all eyes on him, and stared back at them in disbelief. "What? I'm the only one who thought of that? Shit, you're all stupid as hell, aren't you?"

The confounded silence held for a long moment, then Neji laughed. Yes, they really were. Ignoring the venomous look Ino shot him, and Lee's attempt to call him back, he let himself out of the room. He had heard enough.

.-.

"Iruka's back!"

Sasuke looked over from his desk when Naruto bounced off his freshly made bed and tore out of the room. Since Naruto had told him about two of the mutants Iruka was bringing back with him, he decided to follow. According to Kyuubi, there were three mutants in total and they had been in Sisco for days. He was curious as to why.

The sound of Naruto pounding down the stairs brought Kakashi and Sai from their rooms. Sasuke shrugged at them.

"You would think Iruka had been gone for days," Kakashi remarked, both in amusement and for Sai's benefit. Sure enough, a flash of consternation crossed Sai's face as he quickly headed for the stairs. Honestly, Kakashi couldn't help liking that kid. He was an original trying to follow the narrow standards of others and doomed to failure. He might prove to be an interesting person once he accepted that he was in the wrong line of work. Assuming he ever broke out on his own. Some never did.

Iruka was bowled over just inside the door. He enjoyed the excessive affection too much to complain, though his aching tailbone wanted to. "I wasn't gone that long."

"Long enough," Naruto insisted. Especially now that he knew Iruka was in danger of falling for even the obvious perverts. He eyeballed the newcomers as he and Iruka climbed to their feet. Hiko was safe, annoying most of the time, but safe all the same. The really broad shouldered guy with the tawny hair and vertical line on his forehead had to be Hiko's boyfriend. Kyuubi confirmed as much, though thankfully the scent wasn't heavy enough at present to bother him. Tenka was easy to spot, what with the scar over his nose matching Iruka's so well. He had heard about that identifying feature of his plenty of times. The other guy, though, he was worrisome. The trenchcoat and sunglasses positively screamed weirdo if not pervert. Despite the guy's age, Naruto was immediately on guard. He had learned his lesson with Kakashi.

'He smells bad,' Kyuubi told him. 'Sharp and metallic, almost like when you squash an...' He took a deeper breath, looking hard at the bushy-haired mutant. Then he collapsed into tail-waving mirth.

'What?' Naruto demanded. 'What's so funny?'

'Iruka is going to hate this,' Kyuubi howled. 'We have to be there when he finds out.'

'Finds out what?' Naruto's attention was pulled away from his hysterically amused fox. Iruka must have introduced him to Tenka because he suddenly found himself being squeezed in a rather painful hug. Then his back was being slapped just as roughly. He shot a confused look from the smiling Iruka to the grinning jerk who was currently assaulting him.

"You're a little old to be my nephew," Tenka was saying, "but it works for me. I love your scars. Gives character, you know?"

"You think so?" Naruto asked in surprise. Maybe the guy wasn't so bad after all. Naruto was looking up at Tenka, so he saw the moment his expression changed. Tenka's smile vanished and a sneer of contempt rapidly took its place. Naruto followed his gaze and for a moment he thought that look was being directed at Kakashi. But Tenka wouldn't know what Kakashi had done to Iruka so that sneer was probably aimed at Sai instead. That was okay, too, though. After last night, Sai was only a little lower on his mutilation list than Kakashi was.

Sai didn't acknowledge the hostile teenager, who barely qualified as a gnat in the big scheme of things. He wasn't concerned about him. In a few minutes he might be quite concerned about the giant wild card standing near the door. Did Iruka attract them like flies? But at the moment his entire focus was on the hand. Iruka was holding a little white severed hand, a dead thing one would think, yet it was vividly alive to him while Iruka was the same inanimate stone as always. He could draw that hand, and possibly part of the arm it had once been attached to. That wouldn't tell him whose it had been or where it had come from, though. He finally dragged his eyes up to look at Iruka, who was plainly bracing himself for an explosive encounter between him and the black-haired teenager. Iruka would probably intervene on his behalf, too, Sai thought. Iruka was nice like that. So why was he holding a child's severed hand?

"Whose hand is that?" asked Sai.

Since Sai was staring directly at him, Iruka could only assume he was talking to him. He glanced around for a second before responding in the only way he could. "What?"

"So you're the spy, eh?" Tenka drawled, edging past Naruto to size Sai up. He faltered for a split second when he got a good look at Sai's bare midriff, but he forcefully shrugged that off. "What's to stop me from throwing you out of here right now?"

"That would be me," Iruka reminded him, not that Tenka was listening. Sai was still staring at him in a way that made him very uncomfortable. He quickly turned his attention to Naruto and introduced him to Bunchu. Then he noticed that Kakashi, who had been hanging back, had been joined by Sasuke and, surprisingly, Neji. More kids were now peering down the hall from Lee's room and a movement out of the corner of his eyes turned out to be Shikamaru lounging in the doorway to the livingroom. His house suddenly seemed very small, and for someone who enjoyed being closed in as much as Iruka did, that was saying a lot.

"Okay," Iruka said loudly, a smile belying his sharp tone. "Everyone into the backyard. We can do introductions and such outside since it's such a nice day."

"Nice day for a barbecue!" Tenka put in, to the excitement of more than a few of the kids.

"Do you roast marshmallows at a barbecue?" Lee asked curiously as they headed for the back door.

"Only if there's a bonfire," Sakura sighed sadly.

"What?" Tenka grinned back at her. "You want to burn the town down? I saw all that grass on the drive here. One spark and the whole place would go up."

"Not really," Naruto said, thinking of the fire Sasuke had spewed at him in the field that time. "We could build a pretty big fire in my garden if we wanted."

"That's a mud patch," said Kiba, "not a garden."

"Just because you've never seen me plant anything in it doesn't mean I never have," Naruto countered, with a wry look at Sasuke. 'He has bloomed beautifully since I planted him.' He grinned when Kyuubi gave a heartfelt groan.

Hiko kept near Iruka at the back of the pack. "Want to keep the spy in here so Bunchu can look him over for you?"

"It can wait," Iruka said firmly. "He really hasn't done anything to anyone since he got here."

"Which doesn't mean he won't," Hiko muttered. He glanced back at Bunchu and was surprised to see that Kakashi had fallen in alongside him. Shouldn't Kakashi be following close on Iruka's heels? Surely he hadn't given up already. He would have asked if he weren't afraid Bunchu might decide now was a good time to have a word with him. Thanks to the packed car they hadn't spoken to each other yet. He preferred to keep it that way for a while longer.

By the time Iruka had finished with the introductions he was feeling quite content. Naruto wasn't as quick to accept Shino into the fold as he had expected, but Lee was, and with Tenka's support he had Kiba's and Sakura's approval as well. Neji, Shikamaru, and Sasuke were being as antisocial as ever, watching it all without offering anything. If Shino was as quiet as he had seemed during the drive home he would probably fall back into their ranks before long. That only left Sai, who was at least refusing to rise to any baiting Tenka threw his way. Now if the strange boy would just stop staring at him like that he could truly enjoy seeing his yard filled with young mutants.

"How about now?" Hiko prodded, ruining the moment.

Tenka must have heard him because he hurried over. "What? You're not taking off already, are you? We're having a barbecue!"

"Says who?" Hiko scowled at him. "This is Iruka's house, not yours. Anyway, I wasn't talking about leaving. I'm talking about finding out what that 'spy' is really up to. Like I'd really leave him here to murder them all in their sleep."

Iruka let out an aggravated sigh. "He is not going to-"

"Relax," said Bunchu.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow when all three of them did just that. So this was the guy Iruka considered so reliable, was it? The slit in his forehead had opened up to reveal a creepy eye that made the sharingan look downright lovely in comparison. Sure, his voice had a ring of soothing authority to it but, meh, Kakashi had heard better. He edged the band off his left eye just long enough to confirm his suspicions. He immediately stopped viewing him as a rival. It was easy to get people to rely on you when you gave them no choice but to do so. Even he wasn't that manipulative.

Sai returned the wild card's bug-eyed stare with open curiosity. He had seen that eye even when the man had been standing in the hall with it firmly closed. That was all he had seen when he looked at him earlier. Looking into the real eye was no different. It was just a vertically set blue eye that threatened to turn green with the yellow-gold energy currently thrumming behind it. When he drew him he would have a blank page with only that eye staring out of it. Odd, but not that interesting. It wasn't until he glanced at Iruka that he realized what that eye had done. The hand was gone. Gone from his sight but not, he suspected, from Iruka's grasp. The first time he had actually seen something in Iruka and now it was gone. That wouldn't do at all. With a sigh, he walked over to confront the wild card.

"If you limit my talents I won't be able to do my job," he pointed out. "I'm not harming anyone. I haven't and I won't. You have no cause to interfere with me."

Bunchu nodded and closed his third eye. "He hasn't lied outright," he told Iruka. "His primary objective is to witness and record. Secondary to that, he believes he's here to protect you and Naruto if it proves necessary for him to do so. Your lives are the only two that matter to him."

"I never said that," Sai complained. His orders had said that, not him.

"You're here to protect them?" Tenka scoffed. "Yeah, right. What the hell are you going to do? You draw pictures!"

"Useful ones," Sai said amicably. "Would you like me to draw you?"

"No," Iruka said sharply, before Tenka could jump at the challenge. "Bunchu looked him over, just like you wanted, and he didn't see anything-"

"I saw quite a bit," Bunchu interrupted. "Let's go inside and discuss it. You two stay out here," he said to Tenka and Sai.

Sai didn't budge. "You need to undo what you did to me." If the man thought his size and sober stare were intimidating he really had a lot to learn.

"What I did only affects the way you see Iruka," Bunchu told him. "As it won't hinder your mission in any way, I won't be undoing it." He brushed past the boy and led the other adults inside.

Tenka promptly rounded on Sai. "Just what were you trying to do to Iruka, anyway?"

"I was trying to see him," Sai admitted. Why the wild card considered that to be threatening was a mystery to him. If Iruka didn't want to explain the hand he was carrying around with him then he could easily refuse to do so. Blocking his sight of it wasn't going to make him forget he had seen it, after all.

"What's going on?" Naruto demanded. He had seen enough to be more angry than suspicious. Kyuubi had reacted with revulsion the moment Bunchu's third eye opened up, but since it had been aimed at Sai he had no complaints. Bunchu was Hiko's, who was Iruka's, which made him one of the good guys.

"Apparently," Tenka muttered in a disgusted tone, "your spy here plans to protect you and Iruka by drawing pictures." He threw his hands up and wrinkled his nose at Sai. "And to think we hid out for days to avoid you guys. Buncha useless pansies."

Sai smiled blankly at the attempted insult. Tenka was definitely a gnat. Between him, Shikamaru, and the bug-crawling newcomer, Iruka's house was a veritable infestation. He wondered how that would play into Uchiha's arrival tomorrow. If the wild card really had read his mind he was no doubt informing Iruka at this very moment. Since Sasuke's continued presence proved Naruto hadn't passed along his warning he could only hope Iruka or Kakashi did the honors. Uchiha had no more use for insects than the Order did, and he was far more likely to swat any that got in his way.

Iruka slammed out the back door, his expression determinedly cheerful. "We're having a barbecue," he announced. The resounding cheers were all he needed to hear. If things were set to fall apart tomorrow that was all the more reason for his kids to enjoy themselves today. He would do his part to make sure they did. In the end, that might be the only thing he could do for them.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Iruka insisted on buying metal prongs to roast the marshmallows with. Sakura personally thought they tasted better on sticks sharpened to fresh green tips, but she wasn't about to argue the point. Tenka had tagged along on the shopping trip and was in close conversation with Iruka. Sakura hung back with Hinata, who had been happy to accept the invitation with just one reservation. Neji was her estranged cousin. Really, that was something Naruto might have warned them about. It was no wonder he had been so unwilling to take part in a plan that involved the boys flirting with her. If Sakura had known they were related she would have assured him they weren't about to let her get her feelings hurt.

"They'll only be playing it up to bring out Naruto's protective side. If they make you too uncomfortable, just catch my eye and Ino or I will tone them down a little. It shouldn't be much worse than the picnic. Lee is a sweetheart and Kiba is more shy than he likes to admit."

"You think he's shy?" Hinata asked, her eyes wide. She was shy. Kiba was nearly as unreservedly friendly as Naruto.

Sakura gave her a knowing smile. "For someone with an instant crush on you, he's very shy." She realized her mistake when Hinata's face blanked and then turned bright pink. "Surely you noticed...?"

"I thought..." Hinata ducked her head, fidgeting suddenly with her fingertips. It couldn't be true. She peeked at Sakura and then quickly looked away again. What if it was true? She didn't know anything about how boys behaved when they had crushes. Unless she could use Asuma as an example? That didn't bode well. "I thought he was just being nice." Naruto had always been nice to her and no one had ever suggested he had a crush on her. She had never worried that he might. Boys simply didn't have crushes on her.

"I don't think Kiba's the sort to be nice just to be nice," said Sakura. She winced at the way that came out. "What I mean is-"

"I know what you meant," Hinata assured her with a small smile. She had warmed to Sakura, who came off as overwhelming but had her own moments of self-doubt. Kiba, on the other hand, made her uncomfortable. All boys did, aside from Neji and Naruto. Even when Kiba had been nice to her, she had found herself waiting, bracing for the moment when the niceness stopped. That wouldn't happen around the others, so she supposed as long as she was never alone with Kiba it wouldn't matter even if he was interested in her that way. "I'm glad you asked me to help you with this. I've been waiting," hoping, really, "for a chance to do something for Naruto-kun." He was so self-reliant he never seemed to need anything from anyone.

"You won't have to do much," Sakura promised. She had to bite her tongue to keep from commenting on the glow in Hinata's eyes when she said Naruto's name. She couldn't understand why Hinata wasn't jealous, disappointed, even broken-hearted by Naruto's attachment to Sasuke. If anything, Hinata seemed genuinely happy for him. It was a little disturbing, to be honest. She had been bracing herself for possible tears when she explained their relationship and the danger Naruto was in because of it. Now she wanted to shake the girl, to tell her to stop being so nice and start fighting for what she wanted. That was the sort of thing Ino would do, so it was just as well Ino hadn't come along this time.

"Just be yourself," said Sakura. "That should be more than enough to hold Naruto's attention."

And that was another thing Sakura couldn't figure out, Naruto's attachment to Hinata. Ino had pointed to it as proof that he was bi rather than gay. Was it Hinata's shyness that had kept him from making a move on her? She wasn't really that shy around Naruto. The picnic had proven that. Naruto had seemed to take pride in being able to tease her out of her shell. He was almost proprietary about it. That possessiveness was what made Hinata the perfect bait to hold his attention now. So why didn't they have a relationship? And why wasn't Hinata at least a little upset that Naruto had latched onto Sasuke so quickly despite having known her for much longer? The only conclusion she could come to was that their feelings for each other had nothing to do with physical attraction. And, Ino be damned, Sakura was too heterosexual to understand how Hinata could fail to be at least a little attracted to Naruto. Sasuke was the kind of guy girls fantasized about, true, but Naruto was the kind they married and lived happily ever after with. Not to mention that he was surprisingly ripped for his age once he took off that unsightly orange jacket of his.

"How long will you need me?" asked Hinata.

"What?" Sakura blinked, confused for a moment. She hated the influence Ino was having on her. A few years ago she would never have considered scoping out a guy's body. A cute face and brooding eyes were all she had needed to form a crush, and then she had been too preoccupied sighing dreamily to think about what might come after that magical first kiss. Ino had ruined all of that. Sakura wondered if Hinata had ever daydreamed about kissing Naruto. Then she mentally bitch-slapped herself and got back to the very important business at hand, Operation Distract Naruto. "As long as you can get out of working, we'd like you to stick around. Sasuke doesn't know when his brother is coming, except that it should be within the next few days. You can sleep in my bed. Ino is a lousy roommate, but at least she doesn't snore."

"I've never been part of a sleep-over before," Hinata admitted.

Hinata's expression was just eager enough for Sakura to grin. "I should warn you, Ino will want to talk about boys. I'll do my best to keep her from scalding your ears too badly, but she doesn't actually come with a censor. And it won't matter that you're coming over on serious business. Even when we were afraid she'd be trapped in my mind forever, she said the most outrageous things just to get a reaction from me."

"I would like to hear more about that, if you don't mind talking about it." Hinata had heard enough about how Sakura and Ino had met to know they had experienced an awful captivity. But the way they described their escape made it sound like an adventure. She even liked the way they bickered about whose account was more accurate.

"We'll keep you entertained," Sakura laughed. "You can count on that."

Tenka sent a suspicious look at the two girls who were purposely, he was sure, hanging too far back to be overheard. "Your girls are planning something," he warned Iruka.

"A distraction, I suspect," Iruka agreed, with a wry smile. "I'm not the only one worried about Naruto these days." He wished he could be more reassured by that.

"I doubt having another kid in the house is going to help much. You should get all of them out of there tonight. Between Bunchu and Shika, you could have the place deserted when the brother shows up."

Iruka sent him a repressive look. "That would just delay the confrontation. We'd have to come home at some point and he might very well be waiting there for us there. Not to mention how badly Shikamaru was wiped out last time you and Bunchu talked him into transporting us. Even if he were willing, I don't want him suffering another setback. Besides all of that, Bunchu is going to be...otherwise occupied...for the rest of the night."

Tenka cringed, his face paling and then flushing in rapid succession. "You went and did it. You just had to go and put that thought in my head. Have a heart, Dolph. He's my old man. I don't want to think about those two..."

"Being occupied?"

"Fucking," Tenka spat, so loudly Iruka gave him a sharp glare. He lowered his voice, though he still growled through his teeth. "That's what they're doing. That's what they always do after Bunchu brings me back. I swear, sometimes I think that's the only reason Bunchu agrees to find me, so he can make the old man repay him with..." His face wrinkled and his voice dropped to a horrified little whisper, "...sex."

Although Iruka came close, he didn't laugh. "You remind me of Naruto. Is it really that difficult to accept that your father is a sexually active adult?"

"Yes," Tenka assured him. "It really is. If you have a heart, you'll never let that kid of yours know what goes on in your bedroom." His expression abruptly changed as he latched onto that much less traumatizing thought. "Assuming you ever see any action in there. Why isn't that Kakashi guy stalking you? I thought for sure you'd have gotten some from him by now."

Iruka sighed. "I don't understand how you can be so supportive of my sex life when the very thought of your father and-"

"I ain't thinking about that again. Don't even try to take me back to that. I'm on to you now. And I'm not supportive of your sex life, I just think it's past time that you had one. With so many kids in that house there's no telling when you'll get another chance like this. You're interested, he's interested, so-" He frowned suddenly. "He is still interested, isn't he?"

"No," Iruka sighed, "probably not."

He sighed again when Tenka promptly launched into a lecture, calling him stubborn, a prude, a prick-tease – and where he had gotten that idea, Iruka had no clue – and accusing him of cutting his nose off to spite his face. That last was a favorite of his thanks to their matching scars. Iruka remained silent. He wasn't going to tell him that Kakashi had already gotten what he wanted from him. He had gotten what he wanted from Kakashi as well. It was done. True, he was already considering sneaking to Kakashi's room tonight in hopes of another go at it before he left, but he wouldn't actually do it. He'd had his fling. Kakashi might leave the day after tomorrow. Rather than long for just a little more, it was better to already be thinking of him as gone.

.-.

"You're burning them," Kiba scowled. "Give me that!"

"Back off!" Ino snapped, brandishing the spatula at him. "I'm the cook in this house!"

Kiba's upper lip curled. "This is the backyard. You want to cook in the house, get in there and do it. No one wants to eat charcoal."

"Eating meat rare is the same as eating it raw!"

"They're burgers, not steaks. I don't want 'em raw, I just don't want 'em burnt. Now give me that." He snatched the spatula away from her and quickly flipped the nearest burger.

For a moment Ino could only stare at him in shock and outrage. Then she whirled and set off with an indignant, "Iruka!"

"You could have handled that better," Naruto commented. He grinned, though, and shrugged at a wide-eyed Hinata. "Guys are better at grilling meat, anyway. She just doesn't want to admit it."

"Is that an inherent trait?" asked Lee.

"No," Sakura muttered. "It isn't true, either. I'd better go stop her before she comes back with-" She spotted Ino lifting one of the marshmallow prongs and winced. "Something like that."

Across the yard, Tenka was sitting against the side of the house. "He's going to have his hands full with that one," he commented to Kakashi as they watched Iruka and Sakura attempt to talk Ino down. Now that Iruka was occupied, he decided to pry. "So. What made you give up?"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow at the boy. "Excuse me?" He shouldn't have been surprised when he received a pointed look. He had forgotten this was Hiko's kid.

"Iruka," Tenka muttered, as if Kakashi didn't already know. "What? He not good enough for you? The dog made it clear you don't have much in the way of standards."

"I take offense to that," Kakashi informed him. He would have a word with Pakkun the next time they met. His tastes might be varied, but his standards had always been very high.

"Then what's the problem?"

"At the moment? Far too many nosy kids underfoot." At least the others weren't bugging him at the moment.

"Does that mean you still-" Tenka scowled when Kakashi rose and walked away from him. "Hey! I was talking to you!"

Which was the very reason he was walking away. Even Naruto would have been astute enough to realize that. Kakashi looked over at the boy in question. Naruto was fully occupied with the grill, surrounded by friends and with the little black-haired girl at his side. If he had any idea what Sai's group predicted for tomorrow he was hiding it well. The constant circle of kids eager to talk to him probably helped. Kakashi wandered over to where Shikamaru and Sai were facing off over a chess board. That was an odd occupation for a barbecue, but Iruka's kids were an odd bunch to begin with. "Who's winning?"

"Me, of course," Shikamaru said in a bored tone. He had asked Iruka to bring out the game so Neji would have something to do while pretending to ignore his cousin. Unfortunately the girl had kept sending furtive looks at him until he finally snapped and went off into the trees to join Shino in gathering loose wood for the fire they were going to build later. Shikamaru had just made up his mind to take a nap when Sai had sat down across from him. Trouncing him wasn't very entertaining, but the stupid things he said in an attempt to get a reaction from him had at least kept him awake. So far.

"I suggest we switch," Kakashi said cheerfully. "You can talk to Iruka's nosy little wannabe-brother, and I'll beat Sai at chess."

Sai looked up at him politely. "I suppose I could let you win the first match, out of respect for your age."

"He's not bad," Shikamaru admitted, because it was true. "He's just not me."

"For which I'm dearly grateful," Sai agreed. He wasn't surprised when Shikamaru accepted Kakashi's offer to trade places and went over to sit near Tenka in the shade of the house. Unless Shikamaru had intentionally let himself be interred in that facility, he was probably grateful to Tenka for rescuing him. Not that the Order hadn't rescued mutants from similar situations. They were just more selective than Tenka appeared to be. Some of the mutants he had helped to release would kill countless people before they could be captured again. Assuming Oz could even find them a second time.

"So," Kakashi started, as he moved the black pieces back to his side of the board, "have you told Sasuke about tomorrow?"

"That would be direct interference," Sai pointed out.

"And you're not allowed to do that. Right. Then you haven't told Naruto, either?" Sai didn't react to the question. He also didn't look up. Kakashi gave a long sigh. "You're very bad at this. You must realize that by now."

Sai frowned at him as he moved his knight. He didn't need Kakashi to tell him that. "This is my first recording task." And would be his last, one way or another.

"It shows," Kakashi said flatly. "If your goal was to keep Naruto from being involved, you have personally ensured the exact opposite. Even beginners aren't supposed to make mistakes like that."

"I thought he would warn Sasuke."

"And Sasuke would run?" The boy clearly hadn't been observing those two closely enough. "If he did, Naruto would run after him and either bring him back or stick with him until Itachi found them both."

"You assume Sasuke would let him." Even if Sasuke did, Sai was more than willing to restrain Naruto. All he needed was for Kakashi or Iruka to tell Sasuke. The moment Sasuke bolted, Sai would be able to act freely. "You should inform him and let him decide how he wants to proceed."

"I was thinking about doing just that," Kakashi admitted. "Now that I know you want me to, I'll have to make it a point not to." He smiled when Sai's head snapped back and his eyes locked onto him in pure exasperation. His voice was rather gentle when he reminded him, "Unlike your 'Order', I prefer having Sasuke alive."

"Naruto's interference could get him killed," Sai spat.

"Or it could be just what he needs to defy your group's predictions." Sai had nothing to say to that, which wasn't surprising because there was nothing he could say.

Tenka was scowling as he eyeballed the unlikely pair of Kakashi and Sai. "I'd like to know what they have to talk about."

"Probably Sasuke," said Shikamaru. That appeared to be all anyone had to talk about these days. Even Neji had given him an earful about the plan the others had concocted. Being new, Shino might have something non-Sasuke-related to talk about, but Shikamaru wouldn't count on it.

"Speaking of Sasuke-" Tenka frowned when Shikamaru let out a loud groan. "What? I didn't even finish the sentence!"

"Forget it," Shikamaru muttered. "I am not dropping him or Naruto off somewhere until the trouble is over. It won't work. If his brother wants to see him, he'll just wait till he gets back. Besides, Naruto already asked me not to take Sasuke anywhere. If I tried taking either of them, Naruto would probably beat on me until I bring him right back. He has a temper where Sasuke is concerned. I'm not having him turn it on me."

"Oh, come on. You can't tell me you're afraid of him. After messing with Oz, what's one kid? Look at him." Tenka wrinkled his nose at Naruto, who was fussing over Hinata with the most wishy-washy smile a guy could wear and still be male. "He's a total sap. Probably doesn't have a mean bone in his body."

Folding his arms behind his head, Shikamaru made himself more comfortable against the side of the house. "Go talk to Sasuke and see what happens. We can continue this discussion when you get back." He closed his eyes, not bothering to watch as Tenka jumped up to accept his challenge.

Kyuubi noticed the instant Tenka started heading for the tree Sasuke was sleeping in. Naruto immediately darted over to head him off. Sasuke was tired. The only way he had convinced him to rest outside was by promising no one would bother him. The others had readily agreed, but Tenka had been out with Iruka at the time. Naruto wasn't about to let him ruin it. Sasuke's tree was far enough for him to be away from the noise but close enough for Naruto to keep an eye on him. It was the perfect compromise.

Kiba made a face when Naruto took off. "We're failing here, guys."

"Failing what?" asked Iruka. He had come over to supervise the cooking, ensuring that Kiba and Ino both got equal time with the spatula. If Ino's burgers were a little chewy, it would be worth it to maintain the peace. Her heart had truly been set on skewering Kiba in the ass.

"Nothing!" Sakura said quickly, with a bright smile. Inside she fumed. Kiba was absolutely right. She was convinced they'd had Naruto's full attention on Hinata. That only left Kyuubi to blame for her plan failing. They needed some way to distract that fox as well. Maybe they could con Naruto into letting him come out for a while.

"Plan B?" Lee asked quietly.

Sakura nodded and caught Ino's arm, pulling her away from the grill and out of Iruka's hearing range. Ino dragged her feet the entire way.

"It was my turn!" Ino complained. Just because she didn't fuss with her burgers as much as Kiba did, that didn't mean she wasn't entitled to equal time with the spatula.

"Yes," Sakura said pointedly, "it is your turn. We're going to Plan B."

Ino's eyes widened and she broke into a wide grin. "Well, it's about time. Plan Busty Blonde is underway!"

"That's not what the B stands for," Sakura muttered. Too bad Ino wasn't listening. She caught Lee openly staring at the breasts Ino was arching to enhance and decided to keep her mouth shut. If poor sexually-confused Lee was interested then Naruto's fox might be, too. It was worth trying.

Shikamaru cracked an eye open when Tenka sat down beside him again. The look on his face said everything. Shikamaru asked anyway. "Well?"

"He's worse than Iruka with the last cup of coffee," Tenka said disgustedly. "And that red-eyed thing when you try reasoning with him? Forget it."

"My words exactly," said Shikamaru.

.-.

To Ino's disappointment, Plan B was postponed by Iruka calling everyone over for burgers. She wasn't convinced hers were finished cooking, but Iruka insisted on doling them out anyway. Naruto rushed to deliver some to Sasuke and, surprisingly, to Neji. Once he got back everyone else settled on a blanket under the edge of the trees to eat. Ino noted with amusement that Sakura only ate one burger, leaving plenty of room for marshmallows. Ino wasn't quite cruel enough to inform her of how many calories were in just two of the enormous marshmallows Iruka had brought home. Who knew? Sakura might get lucky and the weight would help pad out her chest. That thought made her wonder about Hinata, who was as flat as a boy despite her age. She had a strong suspicion the girl was binding her breasts. If so, she would definitely be talking to her about that tonight.

Sakura hoped she was the only one who noticed where Ino's stare was directed. She leaned over to hiss in her ear. "There is no Plan L! Stop staring at her like that."

Ino nearly choked on her food. She turned to gape at Sakura in something akin to wonder. "I doubt I will ever say this again, so you better enjoy it now. You, Sakura, are a genius."

"What?" Sakura blurted. A cold chill swept down her back and her eyes widened. "No! I'm not. I'm an idiot. You can't seriously-"

"Yes!" Ino whispered furiously. "That's perfect! Forget Plan B, we're going straight to Plan L. We'll have him and his fox so focused they wouldn't notice if the house fell down. And once it's out there, we can resort to it any time we need to."

"No, Ino," Sakura cringed, her face turning red. "I am not going to pretend that you and I are-"

Ino snorted. "Who said anything about you?"

If anything, Sakura's face got even redder. "Are you insane? You can't put the moves on-"

"What are you girls whispering about over there?" Tenka demanded sharply. Forget just being suspicious. The sight of those two plotting was downright disturbing. Ino might be out of Sakura's head now, but they were obviously in each other's pockets. Females that close simply couldn't be trusted.

Being the amateur that she was, Sakura blushed furiously and dropped her head with a vague mumble. Ino was far more collected as she let a sly smile slip onto her lips. This she directed at Naruto, who was looking at them curiously. "We were just discussing how nice it is to share a meal with," and her smile became downright lascivious as her gaze slid over to Hinata, "such enjoyable company." Hinata smiled back at her, shyly and innocently oblivious. Naruto, on the other hand, spewed his mouthful of food a good two feet. For once, Ino wasn't at all disturbed by the grossness of such a thing. She licked her lips for Naruto's benefit and then took a slow bite of her burger. Success was delicious.

.-.

Having come down long enough to light the fire, Sasuke returned to the trees. He wasn't at all interested in burnt sugar. He was, however, interested in what had Naruto so distracted. Naruto had barely glanced at him, and he had been visibly torn between arguing with his fox and keeping an eye on Ino, who was merely showing Hinata how to spear her marshmallows. Was he afraid Ino would stab her with it if he looked away? Or was Kyuubi saying things to disturb him again? Since Naruto was not sporting another tent in his pants, he assumed it was the former. He preferred that assumption because there wasn't a damned thing he could do to stop Naruto's fox from being a pervert. Unfortunately.

Now that Naruto was no longer fussing over him, he took a tree closer to the field this time. If Naruto's claim about Kyuubi being able to sense mutants no matter where they were was true, then he shouldn't have had to stay so close to the house to begin with. It was much more comfortable resting where people couldn't look at him. He had felt eyes on him from the moment he had stepped outside earlier and was quite sick of it. Folding himself on a sturdy branch, he set his mind to ignoring the distant voices. A moment later he snapped upright and looked around suspiciously. He could still feel eyes on him. That there was no one in sight meant nothing.

Activating the sharingan, he did a probing sweep of his surroundings. The eye was in the foliage. For an instant he was frozen at the sheer improbability of that, a round white eyeball with a brown iris floating gently in midair and staring right at him. Then he drew his sword, which instinct had insisted he keep on him, and sliced the thing in half. It exploded into particles, which swept off to reform a few feet away. A few feet closer to the field. Sasuke didn't need a clearer invitation than that.

.-.

Iruka was doing some early cleanup in the kitchen when he was sexually assaulted. There was no other description for it. One second he was closing the refrigerator door after putting the leftover cheese away and then the next second he was up against the refrigerator door with Kakashi's tongue in his mouth. He never had a chance to protest. He didn't have a chance to reciprocate, either. The assault ended as suddenly as it had begun. Mask back in place, Kakashi calmly turned away to gather up a stack of dirty dishes. Iruka was still staring dumbly at him, and sagging against the refrigerator, when Kakashi deposited his load in the sink.

"If you had bought paper plates, we wouldn't have so much to wash," Kakashi commented. He nodded at the questioning sound Iruka finally let out. "Yeah, I guess that would be a waste of money when all these need is a little elbow-grease. And dish liquid, of course."

By the time Iruka got a hold of himself, Kakashi was elbow deep in a sink full of suds. With a determined scowl, Iruka marched over to him and opened his mouth, but all that came out was a confused, "What...?"

"...was that?" Kakashi finished for him. "A good-morning kiss. Better late than never, as they say. Since I'm washing, you can dry. Here."

Iruka automatically accepted the wet dish and dried it with only a little fumbling. He couldn't tear his confused eyes off Kakashi long enough to focus on the task properly. "Do you always kiss your partners the morning after?" If it was just part of his normal routine, then-

"I'm usually long gone the morning after." With praise as faint as what Iruka had given him this morning. The difference was that he gave his praise while his partner was so sated and groggy the only faintness they noticed was their own breathing.

This time Kakashi had to stay, for Sasuke's sake. Iruka suddenly had no trouble dropping his eyes and focusing on the dishes he was drying. He had no idea what to say. If Kakashi came to his room tonight he would welcome him. He really hoped he wouldn't, though. A one-night fling could be excused as temporary lust-induced insanity. If there was a second night he might start including the nights Kakashi had merely slept in his bed, which would add up to an actual relationship. If there was one thing Iruka knew for certain, it was that he was very bad at giving up on a relationship.

They finished the dishes in silence, Iruka keeping his eyes on his hands and Kakashi keeping his eye on Iruka. Since Kakashi's intention was not to keep Iruka on his toes, certainly not in the kitchen where kids were liable to interrupt, he let the comfortable silence soothe away the wrinkle between Iruka's eyebrows. As far as he was concerned he had given him enough warning that tonight should come as no surprise. Of course, given Iruka's habit of thinking himself into knots he would probably still be surprised. But Kakashi had given him a fair chance not to be. That was the most he would concede after that casual dismissal this morning. For a man who claimed he didn't have flings, Iruka sure didn't act the part.

Kakashi's hearing was sharp enough to make out the knock on the front door, if not the words spoken once it was opened. This being Iruka's house, he expected the visitor to be here for him. Shikamaru's bemused expression when he glanced into the kitchen and went over to Iruka did take him by surprise, though. "Another stray?" Kakashi asked, recalling how Lee had been dropped off.

"A shark," Shikamaru said, raising an eyebrow at Iruka. "He wants to talk to you."

"A loan shark?" asked Iruka. He sent a quick look at Kakashi as he dried his hands and set the towel aside. "I haven't taken out any loans, certainly not from a shark."

"Not a loan shark," Shikamaru muttered. "Just a shark. Gills, blue-gray skin, sharp teeth?"

Kakashi raised his eyebrows when Iruka sent another quick look his way, a wary one this time. "I'll go with you," he volunteered. "I've never seen a shark that makes housecalls."

"I don't know any shark mutants," Iruka blurted as he and Kakashi walked down the hall. "And I'm not expecting any more kids."

There was no need for Iruka to voice the conclusion he had jumped to. Kakashi was right there with him. Their suspicions were all but confirmed when Iruka opened the door and they got a good look at the guy. With the mouth full of teeth, the visible rows of gills, and the pale blue-gray coloring, this was just the sort of weirdo an insane Uchiha would keep company with, in Kakashi's opinion.

Iruka gulped, straightened his shoulders, and opened his mouth. "I'm-"

"Umino Iruka," the shark grinned, exposing the points of his teeth. He ran a tinted finger over the bridge of his nose. "Dolphin of the sea, I know. That's cute. Thanks for not making me wait. The old man down the street took one look at me and ran into his house ranting about harpoons. Last thing I need is a lecture for slaughtering a local. I'm Kisame. You've heard of me, I'm sure."

The shark-man waited expectantly. Iruka faltered just enough to blink and blurt, "Not really." That made the grin vanish, which should have been a relief but wasn't. At least the strange man didn't look angry, just a bit annoyed.

"Figures," Kisame bit out. Then he shrugged and produced an envelope and a card. He held the card out to Iruka. "You're invited to tea tomorrow morning at ten. Don't be late. He hates that." He waited until Iruka accepted the card and then offered the envelope. "Bring these two with you. The Babysitter can come along, too, if he wants." He grinned at Kakashi. "I never envied you that. One wrong move and he'd have hung you up by your entrails. You'd think that would be a quick way to die, but it's really not. He has skills."

Clutching the card and envelope to his chest, Iruka leaned out the door to watch the man walk away. He spotted his elderly street-watching neighbor peering out through a crack in his curtains. Kisame must have spotted him too, because his head turned in that direction for an instant and then he walked a lot faster down the sidewalk. Iruka might have watched him until he was out of sight if Kakashi hadn't drawn him back into the house.

Kakashi led the bemused and rather dazed Iruka up to his office. Iruka pulled away the instant they were inside, automatically going to sit at his desk. He then stared at the card for so long that Kakashi began to wonder if he could even read it. "Well?" asked Kakashi.

"I am cordially invited to take tea with Uchiha Itachi," Iruka murmured. He lifted bewildered eyes to Kakashi and heard an odd little laugh escape his mouth.

"That sounds about right. I thought he might have mentioned tea the first time we met. Guess he really did. I did warn you he was insane," Kakashi reminded him. Iruka's eyes dropped back to the card and another slightly hysterical sound came from his throat. Kakashi kindly reached over and plucked the card away. It was a rather official looking card, the sort of thing any insane mannequin might have in large quantities for just such occasions. The only thing marring it was the address scribbled on the back. He supposed that had been written by the shark. No one old fashioned enough to carry around formal tea invitations could have such messy handwriting. Pocketing the card, he prodded Iruka as gently as he could. The last thing he wanted was for Iruka to break and succumb to full on hysteria. "And the envelope?"

Iruka started to open it only to stop and straighten suddenly. This time when he looked up it was with angry indignation. "He's not supposed to be here until tomorrow!"

"According to their predictions, which are influenced by wild cards, and so on and so forth. You don't believe in fate anyway," Kakashi reminded him. "The important thing is that they were wrong. If they can't even get the arrival date correct, you can throw out pretty much everything they've said. That's good news. So. The envelope?"

Although Iruka was annoyed by Kakashi's levity, he grudgingly opened the envelope. He took one look at the picture inside and dropped it on the desk with a choked cry. Tenka was right. Knowing and accepting something in the abstract was very different from seeing proof of it with his own eyes. He flattened the palm of his hand against his mouth and mumbled around it. "I think I might be sick. Or faint. Do people really faint from shock? I think I might really do it. I don't..." He pushed his chair back and looked frantically around the room. "Air. Maybe I just need some air."

"Easy does it," Kakashi said soothingly. He slipped the photo out of Iruka's line of sight and patiently rubbed his shoulders until he stopped hyperventilating. Then he took a surreptitious look at the photograph. He considered it rather romantic, actually, with the moonlight and all. He could see where Iruka might be disturbed by it, though. He and Naruto were a lot alike in that way. He decided not to tell him the real reason he should be concerned about the kiss captured in this photo. Itachi had seen this. That didn't bode well for Naruto. "Just relax, calm down, and don't tell anyone about the visit or the invitation." The house shuddered slightly under their feet. Kakashi noticed, even if Iruka didn't. "I think I'll go check on the kids."

"He wants me to bring Naruto!" Iruka blurted.

"I know. We'll decide what to do about that later. Just stay here until you can put up a good front. We don't want Sai getting wind of this."

"As if it would make much difference when he couldn't even get the date right. Fortune-telling my ass," Iruka growled.

"Yes, and a very tasty ass it is, too." That got a sputter out of him, which was much better than shock and hysteria.

.-.

Naruto had always wished he could find a way to make Kyuubi accept if not appreciate Hinata. He now realized what a fool he had been. The first time Ino had put an arm around her shoulders, smooshing one breast against her arm, Kyuubi had discovered a marked appreciation for Naruto's little sister of choice. Even Hinata's clueless innocence worked in her favor because it made her the perfect prey for Ino's sly seduction. Naruto found himself in a horrifyingly helpless position, torn between fighting Kyuubi's rabid fantasies and his own inability to stop Ino's flirting without Hinata realizing and being scarred by the fact that Ino was flirting with her. He had been so focused on the attention Kiba and Lee had been paying her that Ino's interest had caught him completely off guard.

"You should grow your hair out," Ino murmured, her lips close enough to Hinata's ear to have Naruto's fists trembling where they were clenched on his knees. She was rather surprised he hadn't tackled her by now. Hinata, bless her naive soul, didn't suspect a thing. Ino ran her hands through the jagged mess someone had made of the girl's hair and fairly purred, "It's so silky."

Sakura was so mortified she couldn't keep herself from squirming. Not that anyone noticed. Kiba and Lee were watching the two girls with rapt expressions. She had thought they were no longer flirting because they realized the plan had changed. Now she knew better. They were teenage boys fully engaged in the seemingly lesbian scene unfolding before them. And as much as it pained her to admit it, Ino was right. The house could fall down right in front of them and she doubted Naruto would take his eyes off Ino long enough to make sure Iruka wasn't buried beneath it. Boys were such dogs. Even the new one, Shino, was watching from across the yard. At least, she assumed he was. His sunglasses made it hard to tell for sure.

Had Sakura known what Shino was really looking at, she might have had some of her faith in the male species restored. He was actually watching Sai, who was seated by the house with a sketchpad in his lap. Sai had created a bird a few minutes ago, an improbably sharp-edged little white bird that had flown right out of his pad and off into the trees. Since there were interesting insects along the tree line, Shino had been in the perfect spot to see both that initial flight and the sudden gust of wind-blown sand that had ripped the paper bird into shreds before it could make it past the first few trees. Sai had made and lost two more faux birds before bringing out what appeared to be a real one. That one had managed to outfly the sand. Sai hadn't taken his eyes off the sketchpad once since making it. Shino wondered if the boy was remotely viewing through the bird's eyes the same way he did with insects. Only Tenka's warning kept him from asking.

Sai didn't care that he was being watched by the new boy. Naruto was fully engrossed in the lesbian action and Iruka was in the house. That left him free to spy on Sasuke, or to at least try. His bird couldn't get close enough to see anything. A mile into the fields it had encountered a tenacious opposition. Whoever Sasuke was fighting either had excellent multitasking skills or he had set an automatic defense around the perimeter. No matter how high his bird flew, it couldn't move forward. Already it had been scraped badly enough for its flight to be slowed, and it was nearly blind in one eye. He resented that. Unlike his first attempts, this was a real bird, indistinguishable from any other bird. What kind of mutant targeted random birds? The kind of mutant Sasuke was currently fighting, apparently. There were quite a few mutilated birds and small animals circling that perimeter. At this rate his own bird would be joining them. He liked that particular bird. He had just dispelled it when Naruto exploded to his feet.

The energy coursed through Kyuubi's body like electricity until his every hair stood on end. He was so close to the front that Naruto shuddered, feeling it as clearly as he had. There was no need for words and no time for recriminations. The mutant was a distant bonfire that had suddenly burst into life on a dark night. And Sasuke was right there beside it. Naruto shot to his feet and raced across the yard. Then something struck his forehead and he halted as if he had run into a brick wall.

The scrap of paper Sai had attached to Naruto's forehead, with the word 'still' drawn in block letters, was enough to keep Naruto's body immobile. It had no effect on his energy, however, or his mouth.

"What the hell are you-"

Sai attached a strip of 'silent' over his mouth and another of 'calm' directly over his heart. That slowed his panicked breathing. Yet that energy continued to grow until the sheer heat of it had Sai edging back a step. If he had to put 'sleep' over his eyes there was no telling how the others would react. Then he saw that energy with his own eyes, a violent red that was now singeing away the edge of the paper over Naruto's heart. He no longer had a choice in the matter. He quickly drew the 'sleep,' outlining it twice, and ripped the paper in a strip long enough to cover both of Naruto's wide eyes. The boy immediately swayed on his feet. Sai dropped his pad and was reaching out to catch him when every one of his commands burst into flames. Heat seared his palms and a slashing pain burst down his chest. That red energy was a physical thing, he realized too late. It had sliced into him like a blade. Or a tail?

"If anything happens to him, I'll kill you," Kyuubi snarled. He shoved the boy away and took off into the trees.

Sai hit the side of the house so hard he wondered if he had left a dent. The house had certainly left a dent in his back. He deserved that much for forgetting Tiedoll's sketch. He had completely sealed Naruto, leaving the fox to take full control of his body and mind. He should probably count himself lucky it had chosen to stay inside Naruto's body. That sketch had made it appear more than large enough to squash him like a bug. Next time he would have to draw out his seals in advance to make sure they contained both Naruto and his beast. If this had been Itachi rather than some random rogue, Naruto would be racing straight to his death right about now. He looked over curiously when the back door opened, but it was just Shikamaru.

Shikamaru took in the way the outside of the house had conformed itself to the shape of Sai's back and snorted. "I thought I felt a thud. It was just Sai making an impression on the house," he called over his shoulder to Tenka.

"If it's anything like the impressions he makes on people, it's bound to be a bad one," Tenka cracked.

Not as funny as Tenka meant it to be, Shikamaru noted, but true enough. He watched him return to the kitchen and then accepted his fate and stepped outside. Sure enough, Ino was already marching in his direction. "No," he said flatly. Naturally she ignored him.

"Naruto took off! The plan was working great, perfect even, but then he took off anyway for no good reason! He tried to stop him," she waved at Sai," I give him that much credit, but his attempt didn't work, either. He went that way," and she pointed toward the trees. "Go get him and bring him back."

"No," Shikamaru said again. Then he turned his head away and plugged his ear with a finger to protect his eardrums from her screeching. As soon as she took a breath, he explained. "All rumors to the contrary, I do not have a death wish." He heard Sai snort, but since Sai was still sitting in that Sai-shaped dent in the wall his opinion didn't have much weight at the moment. The others crowded around him and he braced himself for more bull-headed nonsense. Thus he was surprised when Lee spoke up to offer a reasonable alternative to the snatch and relocate plan.

"You could go to him to see if he wants help," said Lee. "In that case there would be no question of force. If he's in trouble, a quick escape might give him the time he needs to regroup. Sasuke's brother would not be able to follow you, after all."

Sai was so amused by the unexpected depth of their desire to meddle that he felt compelled to help them, just a little. "Sasuke isn't fighting his brother. He may be fighting someone his brother sent, but it could also be a random rogue."

"And you still attempted to stop Naruto from interfering?" Kakashi drawled from the doorway. Sai's mouth snapped shut. Kakashi shook his head at him. He slipped past the others and went over to pick up the battered kid. Then he had to stop and stare in frank amazement as a vivid blush swept over Sai's face. Really? Then maybe it wasn't respect and intimidation that made Sai behave differently around him. "Relax," he smirked. The boy was much too young for him. "I'm just taking you in so Iruka can work his magic on you." He paused at the door long enough to pass a warning along to Shikamaru. "If you do jump into this, make sure you're able to pop back here in a hurry. You're the only one here that Iruka can't heal."

"I forgot that," Ino blurted. She looked stricken. "How could we forget that?" she demanded of Sakura. "If he goes after Naruto and something happens to him-"

"It's nice of you to worry about me," Shikamaru lied, because it was actually suspicious rather than nice, considering the source, "but I don't even have to go there all the way. If there's no safe place to land near Naruto, I'll just come back without making the full trip." Now that he knew this didn't involve Sasuke's brother, he was resigned to making the effort. If nothing else, he couldn't possibly be more useless than Sai. He raised an eyebrow at Lee. "You want to tag along, Voice of Reason?"

"Me?" asked Lee. "I'm a voice of reason?"

"In this bunch? Yes. Yes, you are. Come on, we'll use your room. Might as well start with some darkness. It's going to be bright as hell out on that field." And this way he would find out if he was actually capable of transporting someone without Bunchu to guide him. If he ended up leaving Lee behind in his room then at least he would never be asked to transport Naruto or Sasuke again.

.-.

Sasuke's immediate reaction was consternation. He had focused so much on the predictions of Sai's group that he had forgotten that Suigetsu and Kabuto's warnings had come first. Suigetsu had warned him that both Itachi and Kisame had fallen off the radar. Kabuto had been sure Itachi would send someone or come himself. Just because both Kabuto and Sai's group were hoping for the former didn't mean he should have outruled the latter. The disembodied eye led deep into the fields and straight to a mutant the sharingan didn't recognize as a mutant. It was just a pale boy no taller than him with red hair, flat green eyes, and the kanji for 'love' tattooed on his forehead. He was far too young to have been sent by Itachi and he didn't have any energy at all that the sharingan could detect. But the eye floated to his outstretched hand, and when he closed that hand around it, the eye burst into glinting particles that settled in the grass rather than reforming.

"I have come so you can fulfill Itachi's promise to me," the boy said in a soft voice that was as blank as his face.

"He sent you?" asked Sasuke. He wanted confirmation before he attacked. He had never killed someone so close to his own age and wasn't eager to start now. The grass rippled between him and the boy, and a wave of sand rose up to wash over him. There was the mutant energy the boy lacked, it was wrapped in and around the sand. He had no proof the boy was the one controlling that energy, but for the sake of survival he had to assume as much. Instinct took over, silencing any remaining doubts he might have had.

He was able to cut through the energy binding the sand, and quick enough to dodge before it could reform. He couldn't do any lasting damage to it, however. Surrounding himself and his blade with crackling currents let him change the form of the particles, solidify them into crystalline clumps the mutant was unable to manipulate. But there would always be more sand to replace what he transformed, brought up from the very earth itself. Here in this field the mutant had an unlimited supply. Sasuke didn't have an unlimited supply of anything, energy least of all. If this became a battle of endurance he would lose. He had no choice but to go in for the kill. The boy, who had stood silent and still amidst the raging waves of sand, never even glanced back when Sasuke darted around him. A wall of sand shot up as if of its own accord to be shattered under his blade. Too little too late. His sword continued downward and finally the boy moved, glancing back over his shoulder. The blade bit into the side of his face.

Sasuke clearly saw the lower half of his face shatter to reveal a second face, one with teeth bared in a vicious smile. Energy radiated out from under that mask, nearly blinding the sharingan with its intensity. He recoiled, but now he was the one reacting too late. The boy's right hand shot out, catching the front of his shirt and jerking him closer. His energy bit into that hand and the surface of it crumbled to reveal pale skin that rippled as if something were bubbling or squirming beneath the surface. Then he had no choice but to focus on that partially revealed face and the green eyes that were no longer flat but now gleaming with a maniacal glee.

"He built you up higher than this," the boy said, and his voice was strangely fast and sharp. "Show me what you can do. Make this good for me like he promised you would."

That hand bulged obscenely against his chest, and he tore free to send a ball of fire right at the boy's face. That hand was still changing when it rose to shield the boy's head. The mottled tan and brown skin blackened beneath the flames, filling the air with the stench of burnt flesh. A high screech rent his ears, yet somehow it was more felt than heard. Then the hand turned, opened so the sharp fingertips curled like claws, and reached for him through the fire. Sasuke darted back, struggling through waves of sand that grabbed at his legs and slashed at his back. Shielding braced him against the hits, currents broke any grip the sand could get on him, but his main attention was on the mutant stalking him with almost playful swipes of his now fully deformed and enormous arm.

The mutant was clearly disturbed. He appeared to be devolving right before his eyes into something more animal than human. Plenty of Itachi's henchman had enjoyed toying with him, but they had done it after he was already defeated and unable to fight back. Sasuke was suddenly convinced that either Itachi hadn't sent him or he had sent him to be killed. He was unstable, out of control, and Itachi had no use for those who couldn't be controlled. Each time Sasuke sliced into that deformed arm, often burning it as well, the creature screeched with glee rather than pain and lunged at him for more. The sand surrounding him was still a nuisance, but he was beginning to suspect its purpose was to keep him hemmed in and close enough for direct contact rather than a real attempt to take him down.

Evading the arm, Sasuke slashed at the boy's unprotected left side. The mutant crouched and something large and lumpy swept around to block the blow. A tail. The deformity had spread from his right shoulder down his back to form an odd looking tail. It flung his sword off and then the mutant leaped at him from all fours, reminding him of nothing so much as Kyuubi. He dodged, hit a wall of sand at his back, and forced his way through it. He needed distance and time to think. He didn't want to do Itachi's dirty work and kill a mentally disturbed boy. He tore through the sand. The mutant lunged after him, but he was slowed by his own unwieldy appendages. Sasuke had managed no more than ten feet between them when a howl ripped loose and that unnerving energy crashed over him, heavier this time, wilder. The ground lurched beneath his feet and he was suddenly surrounded by a whirlwind of sand. He had just enough time to reinforce his energy so he wouldn't be sliced up when the mutant burst through the vortex and tackled him to the ground.

The mask on his face was almost entirely gone, his teeth sharper than before, but it was his eyes that made Sasuke catch his breath. He looked frantic and...afraid? "Make him go away," the boy demanded. Although higher and unsteady, there was still a hint of that soft voice he had originally spoken in. "No bystanders. Make him go away." He gripped Sasuke's shoulders so hard his claw-like fingertips bit right through his energy and into his flesh. The mutation had now taken over both arms and was bubbling across his chest. "Make him go away before I eat him!"

Sasuke was stunned when the mutant leaped off him, the whirlwind bursting so the particles of sand settled quietly in the grass. He quickly rose, not taking his eyes off the boy, who was now crouched a few feet away with that tail swiping behind his bulging back. Then a familiar voice caught his ear and he whipped around to see Naruto, or Kyuubi rather, fighting what appeared to be an entire ocean of sand. How had he gotten so close? His clothes were tattered and bloody, his fiery red energy arcing into multiple tails that cut through the sand attempting to engulf him. Sasuke took a single step in his direction and the mutant to the side of him groaned, drawing his attention back to him. That mutation had taken over his entire body and was now eating at the edges of his face. The boy wasn't transforming, he was being consumed. Sasuke sent a quick look at Kyuubi, who had progressed a few more feet in his direction. Then he did the only thing he could. He placed a shield around him.

.-.

Shino frowned when the door was closed in his face. He couldn't pretend to be surprised that they hadn't noticed him following them. No one ever seemed to notice or remember him. His manner of dress would catch people's immediate attention and he would be subjected to suspicion, questions, sometime hostile dislike, but then he would be forgotten about. He sometimes wondered if that was an aspect of his talents. His father had the same tendency to fade away into the background and claimed that was for the best considering the nature of their talents. Shino sided with his mother on that issue. He would never know which people were willing to accept him if he allowed everyone to forget he existed. So he knocked on the door and told himself not to take it personally when Lee opened the door and asked if he could help him, as if he wasn't now a member of this house and so couldn't possibly have any interest in what was going on in it.

"What now?" asked Shikamaru.

Lee glanced back at him. "It's-" He turned back to look at the new boy in honest surprise. "I have forgotten your name." He never forgot a name. He was certain he had been paying attention when Iruka had introduced them to the boy. He even recalled Tenka talking about him.

Shino let the collar of his coat hide both his sigh and his frown. "Aburame Shino. I thought I should inform you that going directly to Naruto would be a bad idea. He is currently caged in an energy shield of some sort." He looked past Lee to Shikamaru. "If your energy were to manifest inside that shield, you would likely be trapped in there along with him." He believed that because he had lost contact the moment that shield had formed.

"How do you know that?" asked Shikamaru.

"I placed a bug on him."

Shikamaru sighed and ran a hand over his face. Was every teen in this house a born meddler? "What are you, another spy?"

"Certainly not." Shino accepted that being new he was an outsider, but it wasn't fair to lump him in the same category as Sai, whom everyone clearly disliked. He hadn't done anything to warrant that. "I simply like to know what's going on around me, as a matter of self-preservation. And curiosity."

Definitely a meddler, Shikamaru decided. He might as well take advantage of it. "Is your bug an auditory one or visual?"

"Both," said Shino. He was surprised by the boy's easy acceptance. Most people had trouble with the idea that he could hear and see through an insect the size of a flea. Then again, Shikamaru couldn't know just how small his bug actually was. "Naruto was under attack before the shield formed around him. You would likely be attacked if you arrived nearby. I suggest you wait."

"For what?" asked Lee.

"For Sasuke to remove the shield."

.-.

The creature the mutant had become raged far longer than the sand did. Cut off by the bubble Sasuke had placed around the boy, the sand was no longer fed by his energy and eventually settled into dunes, the largest of which were around his own shield. The mutant had been intent on piercing Sasuke's shield rather than his own. Before passing entirely beyond speech, he had accused him of denying what he had been promised. After that there had only been howls and growls and infuriated snarls. Now finally spent, he was curled in a tight ball, his energy filling the bubble with a hazy fog. As Sasuke watched, the surface of that mottled skin began to crack and crumble away, until all that was left was the red-haired boy half-buried in sand. Sasuke saw the wounds he had made heal to mere scratches before being covered by a thin layer of sand that took on the appearance of unblemished skin.

The boy was still for so long Sasuke began to wonder if he were asleep. He could no longer hear Kyuubi yelling at him in the distance, but he didn't want to keep him caged any longer than necessary. He was looking over at Naruto's bubble, which was also half buried in sand, when the mutant suddenly sat up. With his masked face as blank as ever, he grabbed a handful of sand and tossed it at the shield, shattering it so easily Sasuke flinched. No wonder he hadn't tried breaking his own shield. He had never been trapped in it to begin with.

The boy walked over to stand just outside the edge of Sasuke's shield. "Why did you stop?" he asked, his voice as quiet and calm as it had been in the beginning. "You made him safe. You could have finished me before I had grown large enough to swallow him shield and all."

How much bigger would he have gotten without the shield to contain him? Was that why he had stayed inside of it? "Did Itachi send you here so I could kill you?"

"He set me free to do as I like."

That wasn't really an answer. The boy's eyes were flat again, but Sasuke wondered if without the mask he wouldn't see a flash of teeth.

"What I like is to fight," the boy continued, "to taste the blood of my opponents. I eat people." He said it without a hint of emotion. "I like to torture them first, so they cry and beg. Don't you think I should be stopped? They tried. They had me chained and drugged, but they couldn't kill me. Itachi said you would be able to. He said you could make it good for me. Why didn't you?"

"There is nothing good about death," Sasuke said sharply. Where the hell had Itachi found the boy? He belonged in an asylum. "If you want to die that badly, why don't you do it yourself?"

"Because I can't. I have tried. I can't do enough damage before I change and go looking for someone to eat. Itachi said you have morals. Are you going to leave me free to eat people?"

Of course he couldn't. But he wasn't willing to perform a mercy killing, either. Sasuke released his shield and walked forward to punch the boy in the face. The boy lurched back a step, but there was no tensing, no anger, no hint of unholy glee in the green eyes that turned back to him.

"It will take a lot more than that to kill me," the boy informed him. There was just a tiny hint of annoyance in his voice.

"I wasn't trying to kill you. I just felt like hitting you." Sasuke scowled when the boy merely blinked at him. He turned on his heel. "Come with me." They were nearly to Naruto when the boy seemed to realize his intention.

"Itachi asked me not to kill any bystanders. Do you want me to attack your friend so you have no choice but to kill me? I might eat him before you have time to stop me."

Sasuke ignored him. He could stop him simply by placing another shield around Naruto. His intention was to see just how unstable to the boy really was. Naruto tensed as they drew closer. His palms were flat against the inside of the shield and his eyes were as blue as the sky. Kyuubi must have worn himself out tearing through all of that sand. He explained before Naruto could start in on him, "Itachi sent him here to be killed by me. I refused."

"Foolishly," the boy behind him muttered, a little more anger creeping into his voice.

"Then he's not an enemy?" asked Naruto. "Kyuubi swore he was a monster. That bastard Sai did something to knock me out. By the time I came to, we were stuck in here and he said you were fighting a monster." He hadn't seen any of that. All he had made out were two more bubbles in the distance, with the sand raging around the one Sasuke was in. Which reminded him, "Let me out of this pink beach-ball already!"

"I will in a minute," said Sasuke. First he told him what the boy had claimed. Predictably, Naruto reached the same conclusion he had.

"That sounds like Kyuubi," Naruto blurted. "The old Kyuubi, at least." Because thanks to him his fox could no longer give in to any of those horrible urges. He stared hard at the blank-faced boy standing so placidly by Sasuke. "Have you ever hurt anyone without changing?" He wondered what the boy changed into. As far as he knew, not even Kyuubi had gotten a good look.

"Yes," the boy said, and now his voice was thick with anger. "I like to fight. It's what I do."

"You?" asked Sasuke. "Or the thing riding you?"

"There is only me," the boy snapped impatiently. "Itachi looked for something more and found nothing. He couldn't separate me from what I become. No one can. I am what I am. All you can do is kill me." His eyes narrowed. "Preferably in a good fight."

"You're angry now," Sasuke noted. "Why aren't you changing?" The boy's eyes were bright with angry frustration despite his blank face.

"I can't make it happen any more than I can stop it from happening. Do you think I would eat people if I had a choice? It's disgusting. Vile. I-" He cut himself off, closing his eyes so his face was a perfect mask. When he spoke again his voice was calm and soft. "If you attack me with deadly intent, I'll change. That's the only guaranteed catalyst I know of." He opened flat green eyes to stare at Sasuke. "Outside of a fight, it only happens when I tire. I can't stop sleeping any more than I can stop fighting. I have tried. I always succumb eventually."

Sasuke released the shield around Naruto. The mutant had more control than he had given him credit for. He might be completely unstable in his transformed state, but he wasn't insane. Whether or not he was a rabid dog that needed to be put down remained to be seen. The moment Naruto was free, he grabbed Sasuke's arm and pushed his sleeve up. He was already licking the first scratch before Sasuke realized what he was up to. "Naruto!"

"You're bleeding," Naruto scowled, before licking another of the claw marks.

"Do you enjoy blood?" asked the red-haired boy.

Naruto turned his scowl on him. "I can heal small wounds by licking them. But I hate blood." Especially Sasuke's blood. He wasn't about to forget who had left those marks on him.

"It turns my stomach," the boy said quietly.

And yet he claimed to 'like' eating people. Sasuke didn't comment on that. Naruto was trying to get at his other arm and he had his hands full keeping him at bay. "Stop it," he snapped. "They're not serious." The wounds were shallow impressions of the claws the mutant had gripped him with, rather than actual scratches. They did, however, warn him of what might have happened if he had been a little slower in evading his swipes. He suspected the boy had been holding back, and that he hadn't lost full control until the mutation consumed him so completely he was beyond speech. If he didn't have a parasite akin to Naruto's fox, then he was a victim of his own mutant talent. Either way, Sasuke loathed the thought of being forced to kill him. And he loathed Itachi for placing him in the position of being responsible for the boy's actions if he failed to kill him.

Sasuke flinched when darkness suddenly swept over him. He heard Naruto gasp and felt him latch onto his arm. Then the dark cleared away, sweeping back like a black wind, and faded to reveal Shikamaru and Lee standing right next to Naruto. Naruto, who relaxed the moment he saw them as if he had known perfectly well that Shikamaru had such an ability. Naruto would pay for keeping that secret.

"Oh," Lee sighed in disappointment as he looked them over. "You really didn't need help."

"I wouldn't say that," Shikamaru muttered. His skin was crawling. What were the odds? First the same prison, now the same refuge? The odds should have been astronomical. Unfortunately the world seemed to be revolving around Sasuke these days, so he shouldn't be so surprised. He braced himself and greeted him, "Hello, Gaara."

The red-haired boy took a slow step forward and stopped when Shikamaru winced. "You're still alive."

"And you're free," Shikamaru acknowledged. "Did that guy with the explosives try to kill you?"

"Eventually. He didn't want Itachi to have me. I ate his arm."

"Of course you did." Shikamaru smiled stiffly. Of course Sasuke's brother knew the blond-haired psycho who had snatched Gaara up and blown the place apart during their jail break. Itachi was the brother of Sasuke, around whom the world turned. His smile threatened to crack as he turned it on Sasuke. "You can't take him back to that house."

"How do you know each other?" asked Naruto.

"He refused to date my sister," Gaara told him without taking his eyes off Shikamaru.

She hadn't wanted to date him, she had wanted to eat him alive. Even at fifteen the girl had been nearly as cannibalistic as her little brother. Shikamaru's smile faltered a little more. "She was too old for me," he told Naruto. She also suffered from the same ego-maniacal insanity as the rest of that family. At least she wasn't a mutant.

"She didn't think so," said Gaara.

Shikamaru ignored both him and his own goose-bump ridden skin. "You can't take him to that house," he repeated, including Naruto as well this time. "He'll eat everyone the first time he falls asleep. I'll take him to Bunchu. If he can't control him, then I'll take him home."

"I can't go back there," Gaara informed him. "I ate Father before I left."

Naruto choked, telling Shikamaru that he didn't need to say any more about how dangerous Gaara was. "I'm sure he deserved it," he said to Gaara. "He always was an asshole. Even Temari said so. I bet she misses you."

Gaara's eyes narrowed. "I won't go back there."

Because he didn't want to eat his own siblings? Shikamaru supposed he had to respect that. "Then I'll take you somewhere else. If the man I'm going to introduce you to can't help, then I'll take you somewhere else." Preferably a place with no people. A deserted island, maybe. Last he had heard, Gaara couldn't swim.

Gaara watched as Shikamaru reached out and took his elbow in a hand that shook. A smile went unseen behind his mask of sand. "One of these days I'm going to eat you."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Shikamaru sighed. He wrapped them both in shadow, sought Bunchu out in his mind, and took them to him. A moment later he wished he hadn't been in such a hurry. His shadows dissipated to reveal something Gaara really didn't need to be seeing.

"Is that sex?"

Shikamaru cringed. Thankfully Hiko's yelling kept him from having to answer that question.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Iruka managed to put up a good front for Sai. It helped that the boy's eyes remained downcast the entire time he was healing him. The injuries also served as a distraction. Like many fair-skinned people, Sai bruised quickly and vividly. The cut on his chest was upsetting, but it was the wide discoloration on his back that Iruka found most disturbing. Naruto could have broken his back, damaged his spine, even left him paralyzed. Iruka felt horrible about that because a large part of him wished Sai had succeeded in restraining Naruto. Kakashi seemed to think that since Sasuke hadn't run off to face or avoid his brother there was nothing wrong with Naruto having chased after him. As if Sasuke's normal opponents weren't just as deadly. It wasn't just about Itachi. Iruka didn't want Naruto getting involved in any of Sasuke's fights.

"What am I supposed to do?" Iruka asked, once he and Kakashi were back in his office. "I can't stand knowing he's out there, possibly being hurt at this very moment. And I'm supposed to bring him with me tomorrow? I can't."

"I really doubt he intends to kill him," said Kakashi.

"Why?" Iruka didn't think Kakashi could say anything that would reassure him at this point. He still wanted him to try.

"For a number of reasons." Kakashi sat on the couch, leaving Iruka free to remain safely behind his desk or to join him. "That he invited you means he wants something from you. He won't get it if he hurts Naruto. If he wanted to kill Naruto, he wouldn't ask you to bring him with you. He would have taken him without warning. Instead of worrying about what he wants with Naruto, you should be concerned about what he wants with you. That hasn't even occurred to you, has it?"

Iruka remained in the safe territory behind his desk. "If he wants something from me, it's obviously Naruto. He expects me to deliver him to him. I won't do that." He couldn't. He wasn't even sure he could bring Sasuke with him. Given a choice, he would go alone, despite knowing that would only postpone the inevitable. "Why did he ask me? He should have come here himself and done whatever it is he's here to do."

Kakashi suspected Itachi had done exactly what he had come here to do, set up a seemingly non-hostile meeting with his little brother and the people currently involved in his life. What he intended to do at that meeting was anyone's guess. Perhaps Iruka was right to worry and the psycho intended to kill all three of them right in front of Sasuke. Kakashi doubted it, though. That would be far too straight-forward and predictable for someone as openly crazy as Itachi. "Maybe he invited you for the same reason Sai told Naruto he would be arriving tomorrow, so Sasuke would be warned into leaving the house."

"Sai told Naruto? Is he insane? Why would he do that? He's supposed to be keeping him from getting involved, not encouraging him!"

So much for calming Iruka down. Kakashi winced. "I imagine he thought he would be able to stop Naruto from following Sasuke. He did make an attempt earlier. Obviously he isn't quite as up to the task as he thought."

The reminder of Sai's injuries, and the dent to the house Kakashi had described, had Iruka's mouth snapping closed. Naruto wouldn't have hurt him so badly if he hadn't nearly succeeded in restraining him. At least Sai had tried, which was more than he could say for Kakashi. "You could have stopped him."

There it was. Kakashi didn't need to hear the accusative tone in Iruka's voice. He had proven once and for all that he wasn't dependable, that he couldn't be relied on to shelter Naruto from the danger Sasuke brought with him. Because he didn't want to. Iruka was willing to throw Sasuke to the wolves in order to protect his kid. Kakashi didn't blame him for that any more than he blamed himself for not feeling the same. "I warned Naruto that getting involved could lead to his death, or at the very least make things much worse for Sasuke. He didn't care."

"He doesn't understand," Iruka cried. "Inside he's just a child who thinks if he tries hard enough everything will turn out fine. He's never had to face the real world because he's never lived in it."

"Then it's past time he did." A harsh reality check was just what Naruto needed if he was going to have any sort of future with Sasuke. No matter how much Kakashi might like Iruka and his kid, Sasuke was always going to be his first priority.

"That isn't up to you!"

"No," Kakashi agreed. "It's up to Naruto. As selfish and naive as he is, he's made his choice. Let him live with it. Right here in the real world with the rest of us. Like it or not, Iruka, you can't shelter him forever."

"I can try."

And fail. Kakashi eyed the man sadly. Maybe Iruka needed to learn that lesson as badly as Naruto did. Sometimes you couldn't win no matter how hard you tried. Kakashi had spent a month with nothing to do but come to terms with that cold fact of life. Sasuke had lived with it for years. At least Iruka and Naruto would only have to face it for one day.

.-.

Naruto felt awkward removing his shirt in front of Lee, what with his admitted attraction and all. Unfortunately, Lee refused to accept that he wasn't injured until he flashed him some skin. Sasuke glared daggers at Lee the entire time, which went a long way toward making Naruto feel better. He liked him being jealous. It proved Naruto wasn't the only one with a possessive streak. He was still glad to have his ruined shirt back on. "I told you," he said to Lee. "I heal fast, especially when Kyuubi's in control."

Naruto was sure half the reason Kyuubi was sleeping right now was because he had healed every cut he had gotten the moment it happened. His fox hadn't even tried to learn how to shield, so he must have had to do a lot of healing. Naruto blamed Sai for all of that. Bad enough Kyuubi had been alone to wear himself out. Now his clothes were ruined, too. He caught Lee looking down at his ragged pants and took a quick step back. "I am not taking my pants off, so don't even try it, you pervert!"

Lee took a startled step back. His face heated and he tripped over his own tongue. "I'm not – I was – I assure you, my – I was only...concerned about – that...I assure you, I had no ulterior motives whatsoever!"

"Good," said Naruto. "Glad we're clear on that." He turned his attention to Sasuke. "So, what are we going to do about that sand guy? You were going to take him back to the house, weren't you?"

That had been Sasuke's first thought, to get Kakashi and Iruka's opinions on the matter. "Shikamaru took responsibility for him. He's his problem now."

"Do you think it will be that easy? If Itachi sent him, can you really just...let him leave?"

"Do you have a better idea?" asked Sasuke.

Naruto didn't. He had no idea what should be done. All he knew was that letting Shikamaru drop him off somewhere wasn't good enough. "Could Itachi be wrong about him not having something like Kyuubi? Maybe it's a regular split personality, or something like Sakura has."

"Don't ask me," Sasuke snapped. "I don't know what Itachi did or didn't see in him. I'm not sure I believe he even looked. He has never done anything like this before." That he knew of. Just because Itachi had never sent a teenager after him before didn't mean he hadn't been involved with any. What exactly was Itachi doing when he wasn't busy making his life miserable? He was suddenly curious where he never really had been before, simply because the mutant Itachi had sent to him this time was his own age. And he wondered if that wasn't the very reason Itachi had sent him.

"Sasuke?" asked Lee. "Is the mutant in the ground an enemy of yours or an ally?"

Sasuke turned a distracted frown on him. "What?"

Naruto was much quicker to catch on. "Frankenstein!" he yelped. He stiffened and edged closer to Sasuke, his eyes flying around the sandy grass. "He goes underground. Kyuubi could have been right on top of him and not sensed him. How did you know he was here?" he asked Lee. "Has he been here this entire time?" He braced himself, waiting for the ground to burst open. Or maybe a hand would shoot up to grab his ankle and pull him down until he was buried again. That was just the sort of thing a zombie would do, and Kyuubi had said the guy was as unnatural as they came.

"I only just noticed him," Lee admitted. "He's right there." He pointed, but the mutant was already rising into a crouch and then standing. The sand fell away from his pale clothing and there wasn't a hint of dirt in his white hair. Lee wondered how he could conceal himself underground without getting at least a little dirty. Then Sasuke was in front of him with his sword drawn and Lee had an answer to his question. One didn't greet an ally that way.

"What do you want?" Sasuke asked quietly.

"Gaara of the Sand," said Kimimaru. "If Itachi has truly given him to you, then the beast has already fused with its host. He's of no use to you. We'll take him with us when we go."

"What makes you think he'll still be here?" If Kabuto's rogue had been eavesdropping on the entire encounter, then he must have heard Shikamaru's plans.

"What do you mean by beast?" Naruto asked, hurrying forward until he was next to Sasuke. He ignored the way Sasuke tensed and tried to glare him back. Kyuubi might be creeped out by the Frankenstein guy, but Naruto was not. At least, he wasn't when the guy was above ground and looking like an albino pretty-boy. "Is that Gaara guy like me?"

"Naruto," Sasuke hissed.

"I want to know!" Naruto shot back at him. "If they know about both of us, then-"

"He is nothing like you," Kimimaru said coldly. "Your beast is weak and tainted, contained within an inferior host. His can consume its host, retaining its full power. There is no comparison between the two." He completely disregarded Naruto then, turning his attention back to Sasuke. "Itachi has no business giving him to you, knowing we want him. I won't permit it."

"Do you plan to take him by force?" asked Sasuke.

"If necessary."

Sasuke sheathed his sword. There was no point fighting a dead man. "We're leaving, Naruto." He turned and walked past Lee. It only took Naruto a moment to follow. A glance found his face still red from the mutant's insults, his mouth closed tightly over the mess of things that wanted to spill out. They were being watched, still well within hearing range, but he didn't bother lowering his voice. "Nothing he says matters, Naruto. Itachi is going to kill him."

Naruto shot a glare over his shoulder at the albino freak. He still wanted to know how the man knew so much about him. Had Kyuubi been awake he would never have been able to turn his back and walk away. He would have stood his ground and demanded answers. If the man had continued to insult his fox, he would have beaten those answers out of him. And died for it? Kyuubi was freaked out by him, but he hadn't been able to come out and say the mutant was actually strong. He looked back at Sasuke, who was blankly calm as if they were merely taking a walk through the field. "Is he that weak?"

"He is not at all weak," Lee insisted, before Sasuke could answer. He appeared surprised that Naruto would even ask such a thing. "He has a very powerful aura about him. Can you not sense that?"

"He isn't weak," Sasuke agreed. Without Kyuubi, Naruto probably couldn't tell one way or the other. He didn't know how accurate Lee's appraisal was. What he did know was that no one weak would be sent to attack Itachi, and according to Kabuto that was the rogue's main purpose. "He's definitely stronger than me." Naruto sent him a startled look, which was rather flattering in a way. Having never seen him defeated in a fight, Naruto had no idea how weak he was in comparison to some of the mutants out there. He smiled at him. "If I had to fight him, I wouldn't mind having you fight alongside me. He may be stronger than me, but he's no where near Itachi's level."

Naruto's chest swelled up until he thought it might burst. Sasuke might not want him anywhere near Itachi, but he didn't consider him useless. He had started to worry about that. He didn't want to be a weakness that Sasuke left behind, sheltered and protected, at the first sign of trouble. He didn't have Sasuke's experience and he would never gain any if he couldn't fight mutants stronger than himself. He forgot all about the unanswered questions that had been infuriating him just a moment ago and flashed Sasuke a wide grin. "We'd kick his albino ass straight back to whatever grave he crawled out of."

Naruto really was cute when he was brimming with confidence, Sasuke decided. He let himself enjoy it for now. "It wouldn't come to that. Even if Itachi doesn't kill him, I doubt there will be enough left of him to put up a good fight. In that case, we might want to let Lee have a go at him."

"Yes, please," Lee said eagerly. "Defeating a would-be kidnapper would be a noble chapter in the history of my life."

Naruto couldn't help but laugh. He suddenly imagined the three of them playing janken to see who had the first crack at the guy. If Sasuke could be that casual about someone he admitted was stronger than him, then maybe it really was just Itachi who made him unreasonable. Naruto decided he could accept that. He grinned at Lee. "Do you think you could take him on your own?"

Lee hesitated long enough to send an apologetic look at Sasuke before answering. "As he is now, I believe I could hold my own against him. I doubt he would tap into his true power unless driven to do so. I would simply have to defeat him before that happens."

Sasuke wasn't insulted, merely skeptical. "You don't even know what his talents are."

"True," said Lee. "Since he was under the ground, perhaps he uses dirt in some way. He strikes me as being more akin to Shikamaru-kun, though his darkness appears deeper." He blinked and murmured to himself, "Darker than darkness? A blackness of the soul...?" He abruptly shook his head, throwing the distraction off. "It is just as well that I will not be fighting him as he is now," he decided. "There is something very wrong with him. I do believe he might even be evil at his core."

Sasuke snorted. Considering the rogue belonged to the Orochimaru, that was practically a given. "That's a safe assumption to make. What are you doing out here, anyway?" The question caught Lee off guard, as intended. That didn't explain the sharp blush that struck Lee's face or the way he dropped his eyes. Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Why did you and Shikamaru show up like that?" Lee fidgeted, all but confirming his suspicions.

"We were concerned about Naruto," Lee said slowly. Real men never lied. Yet he couldn't tell the full truth without breaking his word to Sakura. Breaking a promise was even more unforgivable than lying. He decided to tell the basic truth without embellishment and hope that sufficed. "Naruto left suddenly without giving an explanation. I suggested that he might need a quick means of escape and Shikamaru was willing to come and find out if that was the case. He invited me to come with him." All completely true, and very reasonable sounding, too. He looked hopefully at Sasuke. Sakura had assured them that Sasuke wanted Naruto distracted and kept well away from the trouble he was in. If she was correct, then Sasuke should know what he had left unsaid.

Sasuke did, as a matter of fact, have a very good idea what Lee wasn't saying. The girls were behind this. He should have expected as much from how eager they had been to help when he had explained the situation. Unfortunately, their way of keeping Naruto distracted and uninvolved had wound up getting Lee and Shikamaru involved in addition to Naruto. Had this been Itachi, he would have been stuck trying to protect all three of them. Well, maybe not Shikamaru. He sent a sidelong look at Naruto, who was suspiciously quiet. Hoping he wouldn't comment on Shikamaru's ability? He knew why Naruto hadn't mentioned it to him. Naruto had been afraid he would use it to run. Was he still afraid of that? Sasuke could have reassured him on that issue. Running had never gotten him anything except time to run even more. He was beyond tired of it. At some point, he had to stop. It might as well be now, while he was motivated to do so.

.-.

Gaara had the strangest mind, or soul as it were, that Bunchu had ever seen. He was an almost perfect yin-yang of light and dark. On one side he was deeply calm, eager for challenges yet perfectly content to wait until a worthy one could be found. On the other side he was wildly rabid, desperately consumed by an insatiable hunger for blood and violence. The roots attaching the two were weighted on the dark side, leaving him unable to right himself when his psyche flipped. Bunchu could suppress that rabid side, but it was a temporary fix. Like Iruka, the boy would require specially designed drugs if he were to have any hope of living a normal life. Even that would only prevent him from losing control when he slept. Nothing would stop him from flipping if his life were endangered. That survival instinct was too deeply ingrained to be altered.

"If you want to maintain control," Bunchu warned him, "you must avoid fights of any kind."

"Impossible," said Gaara. He glanced over when Shikamaru groaned. Shikamaru was sitting as far from him as the man's living room allowed, but still close enough to hear every word. Gaara stared at him until he shifted uncomfortably and looked away. "I could sooner stop breathing," he said to Bunchu. "Can you make me do that?"

Bunchu might have reacted with amusement if Gaara hadn't been completely serious. "I could, but only long enough for your psyche to flip. Your survival instinct can't be countermanded that way. So long as you continue fighting, you risk endangering your life and thus triggering the flip. You must stop fighting altogether."

"Never," Gaara said flatly. He turned his stare back to Shikamaru. "I'm done here. Take me somewhere where I can sleep, if you really believe he has made it safe for me to do so."

"I have," said Bunchu. "But it will only last for twenty-four hours. The drug Iruka takes should suppress your energy enough to prevent a full transformation after that. I don't recommend you rely on it for long, though. You need something designed specifically for you." He nodded to Shikamaru. "I can help you take him to the doctor Iruka uses in a few days. It should be safe to take him back to the house until then."

Shikamaru grimaced at the very idea. "I wasn't planning to take him there at all." That was the entire reason he had brought him here instead. He spotted a glint in Gaara's eyes and rubbed his arms. His skin was going to be chafed at this rate.

"The house where Itachi's brother lives?" Gaara nodded and went over to his transport. He didn't know when Shikamaru had learned to move people along with himself, but it was certainly convenient. He folded his arms over his chest and stared at him. "Take me there."

Shikamaru scowled at the command. He really didn't appreciate being viewed as a taxi that ferried people around. "Why should I?" he muttered. It was a shame he had never visited any icy wastelands. A glacier would be a great place to leave Gaara.

"Because I could shatter every bone in your body without lifting a finger," Gaara said simply. "Need I remind you?"

"No," Shikamaru sighed. He was very aware of the fact that Gaara could manifest and control his sand without moving a muscle. He could do the very same thing with his shadows. But as satisfying as the thought of strangling Gaara with his shadows was, he really didn't want to get eaten. "I'll take you there, but if Iruka says you can't stay, I'm dumping you off somewhere else." He knew he was wasting his breath even as he said it. Naruto and Sasuke had both been primed to take Gaara home with them. There wasn't much chance of Iruka throwing him out before he had eaten at least a few of the kids. Hopefully he would start with Sai and work his way up to Ino.

.-.

Even after accessing Naruto's memories, Kyuubi couldn't understand what had happened during his short nap. The alarming monster Sasuke had been fighting was spending the night, possibly his first of many. The doctor's unnatural flunky had threatened to kidnap him, and Sasuke had invited both Naruto and Lee to help stop him if Itachi failed to kill him. Itachi had sent someone to the house during their absence, inviting Iruka, Kakashi, Naruto, and Sasuke to mid-morning tea tomorrow. Rather than run away, Sasuke had suggested Naruto clean his room so that he could visit him this evening. Kakashi and Iruka were now rearranging the kids to give the monster a place to sleep. The monster was out back discussing who knew what with Sai, while Shikamaru hovered near the door. Sasuke was alone in his room, and Naruto was scrubbing the floor underneath his own bed as if he intended to eat off of it.

'Am I the only sane one left?' Kyuubi demanded. 'What the hell are you doing?'

'I'm cleaning my room so Sasuke will visit me,' Naruto said, although that really should have been obvious.

A very frustrated growl started in Kyuubi's throat. 'If he visits we'll have him on the bed, not under it.'

'He's anal enough to check,' Naruto groused. He stretched so he could run his rag along the crack by the wall, just in case. 'I'm not going to give him any excuse to change his mind.'

'He probably just wants to talk about his brother,' Kyuubi pointed out. He would bet three of his tails Sasuke was brooding at this very minute, plotting a dozen ways to ensure Naruto was excluded tomorrow. Assuming Sasuke even intended to show up. 'I can't believe you're doing chores while he's plotting his escape.'

Naruto froze for a long minute and then rolled onto his back to swipe some of the dust away from the underside of his bed. 'He promised to see me at dinner and to visit me in here if I got the room clean. If he's going to run, he won't do it till later. Besides, there's no point in him trying to leave me out of it when his brother wants to see me, too.'

'According to logic,' Kyuubi spat. 'If he's thinking rationally right now, I'm a rabbit.'

Naruto laughed a little as he squirmed out from under the bed. Kyuubi's pointy ears were nearly long enough, but he doubted there was room on his ass for nine fluffy bunny tails. That image further annoyed his fox. It didn't distract him, though. Naruto sighed as he tossed his dirty rag into the pile near the door. 'We don't know what he's thinking, and since he's not going to tell us there's no point worrying about it. If he runs, we'll chase him. If he tries to bubble us, we'll throw clones at him. Nothing has changed as far as that goes.'

'And the monster? He's talking to the spy at this very moment!'

Naruto wiped his hands off on his pants and went over to check his bed. It didn't look anything like Sasuke's when he made it, but at least the blanket was flat. Mostly. That should count for something. 'Gaara's only half monster. And he promised he wouldn't say anything to Sai about Itachi being here early.' He let that hang for a minute before jabbing, 'You still can't sense him at all, can you?'

Thick waves of frustration answered that. If Kyuubi could sense the bastard he would have known the moment he had arrived. Even the monster was as difficult to pinpoint as a human, not giving off a hint of the energy he had been blazing with earlier. How the hell did he do that? It was probably some shielding nonsense that Sasuke hadn't bothered mentioning yet. He hoped Sasuke did keep his promise because he was overdue for a good bite. Reducing his host to a maid? Naruto's palms were wrinkled, for fuck's sake. Sasuke would pay dearly for that. If he really did pay a late night visit, Kyuubi would see to it he left every bit as dirty as Naruto's room had been this morning.

Cocking his head to the side, Naruto looked closely at his hunched fox. 'Are you angry or horny?' Kyuubi's fur rose and the tips of his tails twitched into pointy upright spikes. Naruto snorted. 'Nevermind. Stupid question.' Anger and lust often went hand in hand where Kyuubi was concerned. But right now it was probably frustration that was getting to him the most. 'I still can't believe Neji and Shikamaru had sex last night. They just met!' Sure enough, the fox growled so deeply he could feel the vibrations beneath his feet.

'If I don't get some soon, I'm going to kill everyone in this house,' Kyuubi snarled.

Naruto sputtered and then erupted in what might have been a giggle if he had been less of a man. He stumbled back when the fox snapped at his legs. 'You-'

'This isn't funny!'

'But it is,' Naruto snickered. 'It's Shikamaru and Neji! Think about it. Hinata's cousin? He's a classic ice princess! And Shikamaru is...Shikamaru. All he's done since he got here is sit around and sleep. A slug and an ice princess? I mean, what the hell, right? It's crazy.'

Kyuubi sullenly refused to see any humor whatsoever in the current situation. If a slug was getting some from an ice-cube, then he should damned well be getting some, too. It wasn't crazy, it was unfair and completely unacceptable.

'Who do you think topped?' asked Naruto, and Kyuubi's head snapped back in a raging howl that had him scurrying to the front of his mind before his mental eardrums could burst. Kyuubi was definitely frustrated. He probably shouldn't be egging him on. Unfortunately it was hard to resist when Kyuubi made it so easy. His fox deserved some grief for the thoughts and very wrong images he had entertained about Hinata earlier. The idea of Shikamaru and Neji was too weird to do anything for Naruto, but if it upset Kyuubi that much he didn't mind letting his imagination run wild. He could be very creative when he put his mind to it.

.-.

Sai was very close to giving up. Yet another unexpected wild card popping up at Iruka's house? The man had to be a magnet for them and if the Order didn't realize that then they were the ones in the wrong line of work. Shikamaru had introduced the boy to him with a strange comment about him being unlikely to upset the boy's stomach. Sai took exception to that. He had a way of irritating people, which he was quite proud of, but he had never made anyone physically ill.

Gaara knew exactly what Shikamaru had meant, of course. If Bunchu's efforts and Iruka's drug failed to contain him, and Itachi's brother still refused to kill him in a good fight, then he would need something to occupy himself with. Deliberately falling asleep near an Oz base had allowed for a guilt-free rampage and a quiet interment, but it hadn't been at all satisfying. He would never understand why Shikamaru devoted so much effort to targeting a mere human faction when he could be going after mutants instead. At least they struggled on the way down. "How many mutants are in your group?"

Sai sent a quick look at Shikamaru when the boy let out what sounded suspiciously like a choked laugh. He reminded himself that this particular wild-card was an acquaintance of his, which made it unlikely he could be in any way interesting. Sai's immediate appraisal deemed him to be a lowly D class with just one uncontrolled talent. Beyond that, all he saw when he looked at him was an odd pear-shaped gourd, a hollow container that could be cracked with a light tap of a hammer. Had the boy not been a wild card he wouldn't even bother speaking to him. Maybe that was what Shikamaru found so amusing. He ignored the flea and turned his attention back to the blank-faced newcomer. "I'm afraid even members of the Order aren't told our exact numbers." Those numbers were constantly changing, so only the Directors and Seer kept an accurate count. Not that it mattered. "We also don't accept wild cards into our ranks." Especially uncontrolled ones so easily cracked.

Gaara stared at the boy's smile, which was every bit as fake as his own mask. Arrogance was no guarantee that Sai could put up a good fight, but if his group was large enough there were bound to be some mutants in it who could. "Will you be rejoining them when you leave here?"

"That was the plan," Sai smiled. Whether or not he went through with that plan remained to be seen and was none of this boy's business. "Enough about me. Is there anything interesting about you, aside from your lack of eyebrows?"

As much as Shikamaru enjoyed the thought of Gaara stalking Sai right out of here and home to the heart of his group, he didn't want to be responsible for a blood-bath in Iruka's backyard. Considering how closely Gaara's sand adhered to his skin he was lucky to have eyelashes. His lack of eyebrows remained one of his few sore spots. Leave it to Sai to zoom in on that so quickly. "Iruka should have a room ready for you by now, Gaara. You can take a nap before dinner."

"I am rather hungry," Gaara said, eyeing Sai's exposed midsection. If Bunchu was wrong and he changed in his sleep he would hunt the boy down and bite him in half. Even if that wasn't enough to make Sasuke kill him, at least he wouldn't be throwing up bits of cloth afterward.

Shikamaru stood well back from the door before following Gaara inside. He really wasn't looking forward to babysitting him while he slept. At least he had managed to accomplish what he had set out to do. Gaara had someone other than Sasuke to focus on, and Sai was convinced Gaara was just another of the kids Tenka had rescued. If Sai saw Gaara using sand he might realize he was the one Sasuke had been fighting earlier, but even then he wouldn't necessarily connect that to Itachi. Lee had been sworn to secrecy and it wasn't as if Gaara would volunteer information to someone he wanted to eat. Now if he could just survive while Gaara got his ten minutes of shut-eye he could be out of here by midnight. Unlike the rest of them, his world did not revolve around Sasuke. He had his own work to do.

.-.

Since most of the kids had filled up on burgers and marshmallows, dinner was a simple affair. Iruka prepared it himself. Ino had declared herself to be on strike until he saw the wisdom of moving Shikamaru in with Lee like she wanted him to. She didn't seem to care that Shikamaru was the only one who could room with Gaara, or that Neji had readily agreed to move in with Lee for now. Shino had volunteered to sleep on the couch so Tenka could bunk in Kiba's room tonight. He would move in there tomorrow. As far as Iruka could tell, Ino was the only one who had a problem with the new, and largely temporary, rooming arrangements. He had no idea why it bothered her and couldn't devote himself to finding out right now. He still had to keep up a good front for Sai, after all.

The meal was awkward at best. Gaara didn't eat much, Sasuke barely picked at his food, and Shikamaru gorged as if he had just rediscovered his stomach. Ino ignored him as openly as Neji ignored Hinata. That might not have been so awkward if they hadn't all been crowded together to make room for everyone. Iruka supposed he would have to get a bigger table and open some more rooms at this rate. Turning away any new kids who showed up at his door simply wasn't an option. Naruto and Lee were cheerfully getting along like a house on fire. That was surprising, and Iruka let himself focus on them, taking some comfort from the sight. He hadn't wanted to tell the boys about the visit and invitation. Kakashi had taken that decision out of his hands the moment Shikamaru had brought Gaara into the house. He had explained the situation to Naruto and Sasuke as if Iruka had already agreed all four of them would go together tomorrow. He had agreed to no such thing.

Frankly, Iruka didn't see that happening. He wasn't a naive optimist like Naruto. He simply refused to believe the isolated little world he had worked so hard to build could crumble that easily. Sasuke would do something. Or Sai would. Or maybe it would be Gaara who threw a wrench in the works. Someone would do something to avert the impending disaster. If no one did, then Iruka would have to do something himself and he had no idea what he could possibly do to fix this. He had never met Itachi. Even if he could get into his head, there was no guarantee he could influence him. The hardest thing of all was that Bunchu, upon whom he had pinned such hopes, could do nothing to help. His eye didn't work on Kakashi's sharingan, which made it completely useless against someone with two of them.

Iruka was thoroughly depressed by the time dinner was over. Even seeing Naruto happily engaged with Lee, Sakura, Hinata, and Kiba hadn't cleared the gloom from him. Only Sai stuck around to offer to help with the cleanup. Iruka waved him off with equal parts guilt and resentment. He didn't know when he had started to believe the boy's predictions. He did know he had only himself to blame for doing so. He knew better. There was no such thing as fate. People determined their futures with their own actions. There was coincidence, irony, predictability, but nothing was written in stone. No matter what Kakashi or anyone else thought he would not be showing up for tea, the dumbest euphemism for slaughter he had ever heard of, with Naruto alongside him. He refused. That was all there was to it.

.-.

Shikamaru took off shortly after returning to his room for the night. Gaara had slept for nearly forty minutes before dinner without so much as a twitch out of him. That would hold him for at least three or four days. There was still the chance Gaara would pick a fight with someone strong enough to endanger his life, but that would happen whether Shikamaru was around or not. Once Gaara had changed there wasn't a thing he or anyone else could do except run, anyway.

The moment Shikamaru vanished, Gaara slipped outside and settled on the roof. He was wide awake and feeling strangely lost. He had been five the last time he had slept for longer than a minute without changing. Those early transformations had been small and short-lived, and his father had quickly found the best way to make the most of them. By ten his life was nothing but a series of battles and he had gone eagerly from one fight to the next. Then he had escaped to eat a neighboring family and the paid fights had stopped. His desire for them never had. By the time his father had tried to kill him, he had already begun to seek out a good death.

It had never occurred to him that there might be mutants out there who could suppress that part of him. If drugs could work half as well, then he might have no valid reason to chase death. Where would that leave him? He was still a monster. He might have found a way to make that part of him sleep, but it would always be there, just beneath the surface. He stared at the moon and wondered why having a choice about his future was so much worse than having none.

.-.

The utter failure of their grand plan left both Ino and Sakura moody and quick to snipe at each other. They tried to tone it down for the sake of Hinata, who had been so excited to have her very first sleep-over. Neither of them expected Hinata to be the one who snapped them out of it.

"Do you actually like girls?" Hinata asked Ino, once they were settled on the two beds. "Or were you just flirting with me for Naruto-kun's sake?"

Sakura gaped, while Ino turned bright red in an odd mix of embarrassment and outrage.

"You knew?" Ino demanded.

"Well, yes," Hinata said slowly, almost apologetically. "You were much more...tactile...than either of the boys. And you complimented my hair." She gave a little smile. "Even I don't like my hair..."

"But-" Ino drew herself up, outrage beating out her embarrassment. "You didn't even blush! I was all over you – I even smooshed a boob on your arm!"

"Ino," Sakura cringed.

"Well, I did," Ino snapped at her. Her accusing scowl flashed back to Hinata. "And you didn't even blush!"

"I'm sorry," Hinata whispered, shrinking on the bed across from the angry girl. "I didn't know I was supposed to act embarrassed..."

Sakura gave her a wincing smile. "It's not the fact that you didn't act embarrassing that's so surprising, it's the fact that you weren't embarrassed." At all, apparently. She was trying to find a gentle way to ask the obvious question when Ino beat her to it.

"Are you a lesbian?"

Hinata blushed so furiously she actually felt dizzy. She should never have asked Ino if she liked girls. "I'm sorry!" she blurted, before dropping her voice and her eyes. "I didn't mean to insult you by asking you if you were. It's just that I'm not." She fidgeted with her hands. "That's why I wasn't embarrassed. The thought of a girl liking me that way doesn't bother me because I don't like girls that way. I was just curious if maybe you did. But I shouldn't have asked you like that. I'm sorry."

"Ino's bi," Sakura informed her. "You didn't insult her, you just confused her."

Hinata ventured a peek at Ino and promptly cringed at her expression. "I'm sorry," she blurted again.

"Oh, cut it out," Ino snapped in disgust. "I'm just annoyed that you pulled one over on me. I had you pegged as dumb as a post." She scowled when Sakura elbowed her in the side. "I'm complimenting her by saying that because she's obviously not." She folded her arms and frowned at how long it took Hinata to lift her head back up. "To answer your question, yes, I do like girls. Some girls. I'm not the least bit attracted to girls who wrap themselves up so they look like boys, however." Her tone softened, just a little. "You can take that off now, you know. There aren't any guys in here to see you."

Hinata dropped her head again and slowly reached inside the back of her shirt. By the time she was done, she had a tangle of cloth in her lap and Sakura was gaping at her. Ino reached over and closed Sakura's mouth for her before she could say something she would regret.

"That's better," Ino said firmly. She wasn't surprised to find that Hinata was more filled out than Sakura. The girl's shoulders had been soft, telling her she carried her weight up top. Lucky her. "Now that we're all girls, we can do what girls do and talk about boys."

Hinata's eyes flew up, confusion overriding her embarrassment. "But I thought you liked girls..."

"She's bi," Sakura said again. "She likes both girls and guys."

"So," Ino started, leaning forward with a leering smile. "Have you ever seen Naruto with his shirt off?" That did the trick. She would get a blush out of Hinata for every single one the girl had failed to give her earlier. "What color are his nipples?"

Hinata whimpered.

.-.

Despite what Naruto had told Kyuubi, he was nervous by the time Sasuke slipped into his room. He really was afraid of what Sasuke had to say, what he had planned, and the way those words and plans might affect his involvement tomorrow. He knew he and Kyuubi would react however they had to when the time came, but he did wish Sasuke would just give up already and accept the inevitable. Then they could make plans together for once.

Sasuke barely glanced around as he shut the door and came over to sit beside him on the edge of the bed. Naruto couldn't help being annoyed by that. Where was the inspection? Did he even notice that he had gotten the dust off the top of the curtains? He'd had to stand on the chair to manage that. Naruto held his silence as long as he could, about thirty seconds, and then snapped. "Well?"

Sasuke was staring at the spotless freshly-scrubbed floor with growing amusement. He hadn't realized Naruto was that eager to please. All he had promised was a visit, after all. He finally lifted his eyes to look over at Naruto, who was scowling with impatience. Sasuke smirked. "Take your shirt off." That knocked the scowl right off his face.

"What?" Naruto blurted. He leaned away so suddenly he almost fell right off the bed.

'Don't do it,' Kyuubi warned him furiously. 'You gave him a show in the fields earlier.' Since that had been for Lee's benefit, Kyuubi was glad to have slept through it. 'Now it's his turn.'

Naruto agreed with him. Even if he hadn't, he was getting tired of being ordered around by Sasuke. And the bastard still hadn't complimented him on how well he had cleaned his room. He folded his arms over his chest and glared. "Why should I?"

Sasuke might have snorted if Naruto hadn't looked so suspicious. Not quite the reaction he had expected. Maybe Naruto really had thought he was just coming to his room to talk. Sasuke was tired of talking and thinking and waiting and worrying. He didn't want to talk to Naruto. He had come in here determined to do what he wanted and talking was the last thing he wanted to do. He considered Naruto's belligerent expression for a moment, and then reached down to lift his own shirt over his head. Maybe that would eliminate the need for words.

'Take your shirt off,' Kyuubi yelped, in a sharp one-eighty. 'Hurry before he changes his mind!'

Naruto fumbled with the hem of his shirt, his attention torn between Sasuke's calm expression and the pale marks decorating his body. He refused to focus on the latter and didn't know what to make of the former. Then Sasuke leaned forward and reached over to help him with his shirt. 'What is this?' he asked in confusion. He couldn't believe this was actually what it looked like. It had to be a trick, right? 'What is he doing?'

'Asking for it!' Kyuubi knew exactly what Sasuke was asking for. If Naruto wasn't willing to give it to him, he certainly was. He pushed for control, growling when his clueless host resisted, as if Naruto didn't want to jump Sasuke just as badly as he did. 'He's practically begging for it. What more do you need?'

Sasuke sighed when Naruto's eyes dimmed, that distant 'arguing with the fox' look taking over his face. He didn't have the patience to wait until those two settled things between them. If Naruto didn't touch him soon he was going to walk out of this room feeling like a fool and he doubted he would ever enter it of his own accord again. He leaned forward and kissed him. That got an instant response, though it still wasn't quite what he had been hoping for. He tensed as hands latched onto his upper arms, no doubt intentionally pressing tight over the tender scratches there. The kiss was crude and frustrating. Kyuubi hadn't improved at all, not that Sasuke had given him much chance to practice. He didn't want to give him a chance now, either. He had come here to be close to Naruto, not to fight with his fox. And it would be a fight because Kyuubi put him on edge and seemed to enjoy keeping him there. He turned his face away and hissed when teeth ghosted over the side of his neck. "Has Naruto decided to sit this one out, then?"

Kyuubi grinned and took a deep breath of his nervous scent. "He is a little slow to catch on." Sasuke was tense, poised to bolt, yet refusing to do so. He was waiting for Naruto. "Give him a minute." Kyuubi was jealous enough to take advantage in the meantime.

Sharp-tipped fingers made quick work of his shorts, and Sasuke clenched his teeth as he was tightly stroked to full arousal. Kyuubi did have his own attraction, but it was volatile and threatening, and why the hell wasn't Naruto taking part in this? If he did anything the fox would push back until he snapped and was forced to retreat. He wasn't experienced enough in this to counter him, and he didn't trust him enough to submit.

"Naruto," he hissed into his ear. "Have you forgotten what we agreed to do this time? If you're not interested, just say so." The body froze against him and then reared back so suddenly he didn't need to see the blue to know who was staring at him.

Shock, a slow forming grin, an exasperated, "Why didn't you say so in the first place?" Then Naruto was smothering him in an embrace and kissing him nearly as hungrily as his fox had. But he wasn't controlling about it, and he eagerly welcomed Sasuke's tongue into his own mouth. When Sasuke drug blunt nails lightly down his back there was no retaliation, just a pleasured hum as he melted deeper into him. Sasuke leaned onto him, and Naruto only hesitated a moment before giving way, pulling him down with him. His hands were just as quick to wander, but he didn't fight when Sasuke caught his wrists.

"Let me first," said Sasuke. "Then you can if you want. Okay?"

Naruto nodded frantically, not trusting himself to speak over the knot of anticipation in his throat. If Sasuke really wanted to do what he had so casually put off for 'next time,' then he was absolutely okay with that. He was only a little worried that Kyuubi's influence might push him to ruin it. They did have very different views on how this particular fantasy was supposed to play out. But even Kyuubi had to admit that Sasuke was very good with his mouth. If he had to lie back and let Sasuke have the reigns in order to benefit from that, so be it.

Sasuke would have preferred to take his time. Naruto was very open about his pleasure, showing him exactly what he liked. He was especially sensitive around his navel, arching up and pulling on his hair for more attention there. But that double-fisted grip on his hair became painful the longer he lingered. Naruto was panting, watching him with half-lidded eyes that were far from blue. He didn't want to taunt out the fox, didn't want to push him any more than he wanted to be pushed by him. So he moved down until he was holding him with both hands, not stroking, just feeling. He ran his tongue along the length of him and marveled at the way he shuddered. He took the tip into his mouth and those hands released his hair at the same moment Naruto's hips bucked. He pulled back and watched in surprise as Naruto curled his fists into the blanket on either side of him. His eyes were closed tightly, his teeth clenched, and Sasuke knew exactly what was going on in his head. Affection washed over him until he felt a stupid smile pulling at his lips. He licked it away and leaned down to take him back into his mouth.

Naruto was horrified to find that he wasn't so different from Kyuubi after all. He was in Sasuke's mouth. Sasuke himself had invited him in, was lavishing him with that wicked tongue of his, and all Naruto wanted was to grab his head and force him down so he took every last bit of him. He'd choke him, hurt him, ensure that he never ever did this again, and part of him didn't care. Part of him, not Kyuubi, felt it would be worth it to come just once while buried inside him. So he tightened his deathgrip on the blanket and felt both hopeful and guilty every time his hips bucked. He couldn't stop doing that, but Sasuke could pull back, could hold him down if he wanted to. Sasuke was free to stop if he wanted to. Naruto whimpered at the thought and wished a large part of him didn't feel as outraged by that possibility as Kyuubi did.

Naurto was clearly killing himself in his efforts to hold back. Sasuke would have felt sympathy or at least amusement over that if he hadn't been frustrated at his inability to rid himself of his gag reflex. He wasn't intentionally torturing Naruto, he simply couldn't stop himself from pulling back every time he took him too close to the back of his mouth. He wasn't afraid of suffocating. He could hold his breath for quite a while, in fact. Gagging would be embarrassing, but he was sure he would get past that if he could just do it. He bobbed his head until Naruto was writhing and then pushed down just as his hips pushed up...and instantly pulled back. Enough was enough. "Naruto."

"You're stopping...?"

He sounded as if he were about to cry. Sasuke let out a sharp breath that would have been a laugh if he hadn't felt so frustrated. He had wanted to do this the moment Naruto had mentioned using his mouth the other night. He wanted to feel him in his throat, to swallow him down, and he was going to get what he wanted one way or another. "Tell Kyuubi to give me a hand."

Naruto's eyes snapped open. "What?"

"Just this one," Sasuke said, tapping Naruto's right fist. He saw Naruto's eyes darken and his face twist up as he tried to prevent Kyuubi from fulfilling that request. That smile tugged at his mouth again. "You'll know if he pushes me too far, Naruto. Don't worry so much."

"One of us has to worry," Naruto shot back. "You don't know what you're asking." Kyuubi was beating him with his tails in his eagerness to get free.

"Yes, I do," Sasuke scoffed. "He might be horrible at kissing, but I suspect he'll be very good at this."

"I could be good at it, too," Naruto mumbled, feeling both insulted and guilty. And horny. Sasuke's lips were red and moist, his breaths hitting him with every word he spoke, and he wanted nothing more than to grab him and push him back down. He could be very good at that, he just didn't want to be good at it and Sasuke shouldn't want him to be either.

Kyuubi was out of all patience with this nonsense. 'He wants his mouth fucked, we want to do it, now get the hell out of my way and let me at him!'

"No," Naruto said, to both of them. His attention remained on Sasuke, though. Because this was between him and Sasuke, a first for them, and if it couldn't be romantic at least it wasn't going to be violent. "I'll do it, if you really want me to." Sasuke flushed, looking annoyed and uncomfortable, and when Naruto slipped a hand into his hair he could feel the back of his neck tense. Sasuke wasn't nearly as confident about this as he was trying to act. 'We're not ready for anything like that,' he told Kyuubi.

'Speak for yourself! He's the one who asked for it.' With words this time, so even Naruto couldn't pretend not to understand.

Naruto wasn't going to argue with him. Unlike Kyuubi, he could see past his own frustration. A good part of him wanted the same thing as his fox, the same thing Sasuke seemed to want, but an even larger part of him wanted a whole lot more. He remembered what happened when Sasuke was pushed too far and he had made a promise with himself that he wouldn't do that again. Not even when Sasuke was the one asking him to. He lifted his left hand and brushed his thumb over Sasuke's lips. A faint smile came to his own lips when Sasuke pulled back at that, just as he had thought he would. "And you wanted Kyuubi to hold you down...?"

"With one hand," Sasuke snapped. He was embarrassed by his own reactions, always flinching, always pulling back. Why was it so hard to just do what he had set his mind to doing? This was Naruto, who would literally torture himself to avoid pushing him too far. That hand brushed past his cheek, down over his shoulder to his back, and he hated the fact that Naruto could feel how tense he was. He couldn't help that any more than he could help being relieved that Naruto refused to let his fox take over. He trusted Naruto, whether his body understood that or not.

"Sasuke-"

He didn't want to talk about it, didn't want to talk about anything. So he bent down and swirled his tongue around his tip, turning whatever Naruto had been about to say into a startled moan. That second uninvited hand curled against his upper back, flexing against his tensed muscles until a fluid achy burn set in there. He let himself enjoy that as he coaxed Naruto back into that frantic writhing state that looked and sounded so good on him. Naruto gasped, panting over the wet sounds of his mouth, and then his hips bucked, the hand in his hair pulled, and for a brief moment Sasuke felt exactly what he had been missing. It was actually a little painful, his throat closing as it tried and failed to gag. He swallowed frantically and heard Naruto let out a cry that made his entire body shiver just as he felt the first spurt of fear at his inability to pull back. Then the hand was tugging on his hair, letting him up even as Naruto's hips followed in a need to keep him down. He caught a breath, felt a rush of nervous excitement, and took him back in with Naruto's shaky yet clearly eager help. He hadn't expected to like this. He had thought it would be for Naruto's pleasure, that any enjoyment he took from it would be knowing he was the cause of that pleasure. But he didn't just like the sounds Naruto made and the sight of him moving that way. He liked the warm taste of him, the feel of him in his mouth, and he liked the feel of him in his throat even better.

Naruto wasn't sure when he stopped fighting. It might have been after the second time Sasuke swallowed him whole because he couldn't count after that. His hand was fisted in that thick hair and if he held him down a little longer than Sasuke liked it certainly didn't stop him from bobbing back down for more. He found himself staring at him through his eyelashes, or maybe that was Kyuubi and his own eyes were actually closed. Sasuke's eyes were brief flashes of red as he worked him over. The sight of himself disappearing into his mouth was almost as powerful as the feel of it. And he felt it both inside and out because his left hand had moved at some point and was now curled lightly around the side of Sasuke's neck, not to threaten him, he hoped he didn't take it that way, but just to feel the way his throat moved, the vibrations of his quick heated breaths. Naruto's hips bucked violently, desperately, and that might have been Kyuubi, too, but Sasuke couldn't have minded much because his own hands were flat against his stomach, fingers rubbing and curling but not holding or pushing back like they could have been doing. Then Naruto was gone, consumed, blind need overriding any protests his conscience might have had.

Sasuke trembled, instinctively straining against the double-fisted hold in his hair. He swallowed convulsively but couldn't make it go down any faster than a torturously slow trickle. His lungs burned and his hands flattened, pushing against Naruto's stomach and hips, but only a little because as alarming as it was he didn't really want it to end.

It was Naruto who eventually drew him up and off so that he could gulp, cough, and gasp his way back to sanity. At least, he thought it was Naruto. The pinch of sharp nails against his scalp told him it might have been Kyuubi. It was definitely Naruto who pulled him up and kissed him senseless, as if he wasn't already dazed and oxygen deprived as it was. He barely had a chance to respond before that mouth pulled away, dropped, and closed around his own erection. "Wait!" Sasuke choked out, just seconds before coming in Naruto's mouth. The blonde reared back, his face a picture as he struggled to swallow, and Sasuke slumped back onto the bed to throw an arm over his flushed face. So much for that, he thought, his lips twitching into a small wry smile.

.-.

Iruka walked into his bedroom to find a naked Kakashi lounging on his bed. Again. His reactions were much quicker this time. He only stood frozen and mentally drooling for a minute before turning on his heel. Only to be faced with a second naked Kakashi, giving him a nice view of his ass as he closed and locked the door. That sufficed to shut down the rational part of his brain. He stared, blinking slowly, as the naked man turned and casually reached up to pull the tie out of his hair. He was still blinking, and not thinking, when his shirt was lifted over his head. It wasn't until Kakashi unbuttoned his pants for him that he thought to throw a quick look over his shoulder. Yes, there was still a naked Kakashi on his bed, although he was sitting up now and moving toward the edge of it. Iruka's head snapped back around and then dropped so he could stare at the pale hands pushing his pants down off his own naked hips. "Wait," he finally blurted. "What?"

Kakashi smirked as he slipped off the bed and went over to wrap his arms around Iruka's waist. He lifted and held him so his other half could remove his shoes and pants. "Please don't get the wrong idea," he murmured against Iruka's sensitive ear. "I wouldn't dream of using one of Naruto's techniques on you. Mine isn't a facsimile created as an extension of my own energy. I've merely halved myself for the moment. Don't let that worry you. He may only have half my energy, but I promise you he has all of my prowess."

That was a threat if Iruka had ever heard one. A whine started in his throat as the other Kakashi rose and eased close until he was firmly trapped between the two of them. In what world was this considered fair? This shouldn't even be possible. Damned mutant abilities taking his already risque fantasies to entirely new levels. He had barely kept up with one Kakashi. What could he possibly do with two of him? "But...why?"

"Why not?" Kakashi drawled against his lips. He caught Iruka's wrists and lifted them so his hands were pressed against his chest. He smirked when Iruka's fingers twitched against him. "Just think, you can indulge your nipple fetish to your heart's content."

"While I take you from behind," the other Kakashi drawled into his ear. "I might even be persuaded to let you indulge your more...predatory...fantasies on one of us, just so long as I can be inside you while you do it. Wouldn't that be nice...?"

Iruka whimpered pitifully. Kakashi was a monster. He was going to ruin him for anyone else. Oh, how he hoped he would. But Iruka was a nice person, so even though Kakashi was asking for it he was compelled to warn him because it was the right thing to do. "If we do this, I might never let you leave."

Just like he had vowed to never stop blushing? Kakashi remained skeptical, but he was willing to counter that threat with one of his own. "If we do this, you might never get me to leave."

With the terms clearly set, there was nothing more that needed to be said. Iruka put his mouth to better use. Those nipples weren't going to lick themselves, after all.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Sai was waiting in the kitchen when the first person came down. He hadn't expected it to be Sasuke. As far as the Order had been able to ascertain, his sharingan was always active when he slept, doing something that left him drained and easily read when he first woke up. Yet he was the first one to appear that morning, groggy and slow on his feet, but awake and still very much in the house. He should have been long gone by now. It was all Sai could do to keep his talents inactive as he watched him clumsily start a pot of coffee. It wasn't just about his orders to avoid direct interference. He had already acted against those, to no avail. The temptation lay in the simple fact that he didn't know what he would see if he looked at him without his energy fully suppressed. If Sasuke died today he would never know why Itachi hadn't wanted him to read the boy. Unlike Iruka, Sasuke was a mystery he could solve with one look. Only the prospect of Itachi finding out kept him from it. The Order didn't want Itachi viewing them as his enemy, and technically Sai still worked for them.

Kakashi was the next to make an appearance. Although he shook his head at Sai, he didn't pay him much more attention than Sasuke had. He poured two cups of coffee, mussed a hand over Sasuke's head, making the boy stiffen and flash a quick red-eyed glare at him, before sweeping back out of the kitchen. Sai wondered if he and Iruka were sleeping together. Normally he would have known on sight. Energy had a way of rubbing off and merging when two mutants had sex. But Kakashi's energy changed depending on the talents he was using, and Sai wouldn't have recognized Iruka's even if Kakashi had been coated in it. His attention turned back to Sasuke and he wondered if a real look would reveal him covered in Naruto's red. As amusing as the thought was, he doubted it. Itachi's rule against rape was too well-known. With Sasuke's looks it was easy to see why some of Itachi's men might have been tempted. But the rule had been placed over everyone who had contact with him, even those who would have been disgusted by the very idea. The rule had been designed to protect Sasuke's sanity. As far as Sai was concerned if being raped a few times was enough to break him then the craziness that had taken Itachi probably ran in the family. The only question was why Itachi was so set on it not infecting his little brother. Itachi had embraced his own insanity too much to view it as a weakness.

"Are you and Naruto having sex?" asked Sai. Sasuke stiffened and slowly looked over his shoulder at him. With his blank face and red eyes the resemblance was uncanny. Yes, Sai could definitely see why he had tempted Itachi's men. Doing him would be almost as good as the real thing. It was a shame Itachi had worked so hard to keep him a frigid virgin. "I won't be here much longer and he looks like he'd be a lot of fun. Kinky, even, what with that fox of his. We seem to have similarly eclectic tastes."

"Get out," Sasuke snapped.

"Are you sure? I wouldn't mind giving you a hand with breakfast. You have to crack the eggs before you put them in the skillet," he said helpfully. Those red eyes narrowed, but he couldn't tell if it was simple annoyance or possessive jealousy. Did Uchihas even experience emotions like jealousy? He rose from the table with a careless shrug. "If you have this covered, then I suppose I can go see if Naruto needs a hand with anything. I'm very good with my hands." Not so much as a twitch. Sai left the room with heavy disappointment. Even with his hair mussed, Sasuke was as cold as his brother. Maybe that was just as well. If he were going to risk his life screwing with an Uchiha he would much rather do it with the real one.

.-.

For a horny fox who had finally 'gotten some,' Kyuubi was far from content. Naruto was disappointed that he hadn't gotten to take his time bringing Sasuke off. Kyuubi was disappointed that he hadn't gotten to fuck him senseless while he was lying there flushed and vulnerable. They both felt cheated that Sasuke had promptly left the room. Naruto was hurt by the lack of snuggling. Kyuubi was insulted by the lack of trust. If he had wanted to force himself on Sasuke while he slept he would have done so a week ago. There was no reason Sasuke couldn't have stayed, mollifying Naruto's need for tactile affection and letting him enjoy the scent and feel of him. He had let Naruto lie flat on his back, giving himself over to Sasuke's whims. The least Sasuke could do was let himself be held afterward. But, no, he had left, and Naruto was too stubbornly considerate to stop him. Naruto insisted Sasuke was still worried he might lash out in his sleep, but Kyuubi wasn't buying that.

Kyuubi kept his senses trained on Sasuke's room all night. For nothing. Sasuke made no attempt to slip away, didn't even leave the bed. That proved he could just as easily have spent the night with them. Kyuubi knew Sasuke had refused to do so because of him. His chosen mate was afraid of him. Naruto would never understand how insulting that was. He wanted to dominate him, to have him completely at his mercy, but it wasn't as if he would hurt him. The point was to force him to enjoy everything he did to him. And he would. Sasuke had proven he liked it every bit as rough as Kyuubi had hoped he would. So why the fear? All Kyuubi could think was that emotions had something to do with it. That thought made him want to eat a tail just so he could cough it up in disgust. He had enough trouble dealing with Naruto's emotions. He refused to pander to Sasuke's as well.

The moment Sasuke left his room, Kyuubi rolled Naruto out of bed so he could take a well deserved nap. Emotions? That was definitely Naruto's domain. He was the one ruled by them, after all.

After a sleepy shower, Naruto left the bathroom only to freeze when Kakashi passed him in the hall, bringing two cups of coffee up to Iruka's room. The man merely gave him a nod and a knowing, somehow commiserating, look on the way by. Naruto halted in his tracks, a burning rush of...something...heating his face. Embarrassment, as if Kakashi knew exactly what he had been up to last night. Fury, because Kakashi might have been up to the very same thing with Iruka. Shock, to realize just what a damned hypocrite he was. Just the thought of last night made him want to jump back into bed and relive it over and over until his hand cramped up. He was never going to get enough of Sasuke and never wanted to. But Iruka had, what? One more day? Two? And then he might never see Kakashi again. Naruto knew there was a good chance Sasuke would try to leave him, but only in order to protect him. If Kakashi left it would be because he wanted to, because he was done here, and Naruto would be damned if he was going to let his sensei be hurt that way. Them...doing stuff...was painful and gross and so very very wrong. But if Iruka wanted to keep him even half as much as Naruto wanted to keep Sasuke, then...then what kind of man would Naruto be if he didn't do his part to help? Iruka deserved to be happy, too. If he and Kyuubi had to drag Kakashi back kicking and screaming, so be it. At least he would get to mutilate him a little while he was at it. He had done well enough in biology to know a man only needed one ball to get stuff done.

Sai caught him at the bottom of the stairs, waving him into the living room. Naruto wanted nothing more than to ignore him. Kakashi had pounded in the warning that they do nothing to let Sai know his predictions were off, but as far as Naruto could tell they weren't actually off yet. Since they hadn't actually seen Itachi yet he might as well have arrived today. For all they knew, Itachi's flunky was the only one who had really arrived early, and Sai hadn't made any predictions about him. Things could be going exactly according to Sai's timetable. That, along with how the bastard had endangered Kyuubi and Sasuke yesterday, made him want to beat the hell out of him, or at the very least throw him out of the house. He still couldn't understand why Iruka wouldn't throw the guy out.

"What do you want?" Naruto growled, as he stalked over to stand in the doorway. He was momentarily distracted by the sight of Shino sitting on the couch and Akamaru sitting on the floor across the short table from him. Those three were all he needed first thing in the morning. He was glad Kyuubi was taking a nap.

"The dog has fleas," Sai said cheerfully. "I thought you would like to know."

"What?" Naruto shot a startled look at Akamaru, who promptly hung his head. "But Iruka-sensei gave him a bath! And flea drops. Expensive ones!" Iruka had still been complaining about that when he got back from the vet.

"It wouldn't have helped if he's been around other animals with fleas since then," said Shino.

Akamaru ducked even lower on the floor, managing to look both embarrassed and guilty. Naruto cringed at the thought of fleas hopping off him to dig their way into the carpet. "Why is he inside, then?! Get him out, quick before they're everywhere! Iruka-sensei hates bugs!"

"Does he?" Sai asked curiously. He raised an eyebrow at Shino. "It's a wonder that he let you in the house, then, isn't it?"

As biased against Shino as Naruto instinctively was due to his blatant weirdo if not pervert trenchcoat, he wasn't about to let Sai bully someone Iruka had invited to live with them. "Leave him alone," he warned Sai. "If you want to start something, start it with me. I owe you an ass-kicking for yesterday."

"I'm flattered that you're so interested in my ass," Sai lied politely. Despite what he had told Sasuke, Naruto really wasn't his type. It was that fox of his. Sai drew the line at bestiality. "I am concerned, however, that no one seems to know about his talents. Would you care to demonstrate them, Aburame? I'm sure it wasn't your intention to come here under false pretenses." Despite his affinity to them, Shino was not a flea. He slunk around in the background but he didn't intentionally hide there.

Shino leaned forward and stretched a hand out over the table. Naruto was startled to see thick bandages peaking out of the arm of his coat, then he was distracted by the sight of Akamaru's fur ruffling. He watched in growing horror as bugs, fleas, hopped up the dog's back, onto his head and nose, and then right into Shino's palm. In a matter of seconds the boy was holding a black clump of bugs in his hand and Naruto's hairs were standing on end. "Oh my god!" Naruto cringed. "Iruka-sensei is going to die!" And Kyuubi had known. That was why Kyuubi had laughed and wanted them to be there when Iruka found out. His fox was a sadistic monster!

Naruto rounded on Sai. "You can't tell Iruka-sensei about this! One word to him and I'll make you eat your teeth. I swear I will!" Poor Iruka had enough to worry about today without being traumatized first thing in the morning. Naruto wasn't nearly as creeped out by bugs as Iruka was and even he couldn't bring himself to look back at Shino's hand. "I mean it!"

"I never intended to keep it a secret," said Shino. Akamaru was rubbing against his leg in gratitude and he reached down to scratch him with his free hand. "Tenka merely advised me to hold off on mentioning it."

Naruto nodded quickly. "Keep holding off. In fact, you might want to hold off forever. There's no point-" He winced back a step when Shino rose. None of the bugs fell out of his hand and onto the carpet, but they could have. "What are you doing with them?"

"Releasing them outside."

"Why? Can't you flush them down the toilet or something?" Naruto wouldn't have thought sunglasses could glare, but Shino managed it somehow.

"They didn't ask to be brought inside. They were only doing what they have to in order to survive."

Naruto decided he didn't like being lectured on the fair treatment of bugs. Shino might not be a pervert, but he was definitely a weirdo. Akamaru chuffed at him and he scowled down at the dog. "You're still getting a bath. I bet you have flea shit all over you." The dog shook himself as if he were trying to knock the flea droppings off onto the carpet. If Kyuubi had been awake Naruto was pretty sure he'd have kicked the mutt. As it was, he just glared until Akamaru trotted over to scratch on Kiba's door. "Don't leave marks in the wood," he muttered, as if Iruka was going to care about that when he had a flea-master living in his house. What kind of talent was that? And he had thought having a fox in his head was weird.

"Don't try to help," Sasuke said when he entered the kitchen. "Grab some coffee, sugar it up, and keep quiet."

Naruto made a face at his back, but he still followed his orders. He had already discovered that he liked watching Sasuke the morning after. This time it hadn't just been dreams, either. He was so smug about that he didn't even bother to hide behind his coffee cup.

.-.

For the second night in a row, Iruka had forgotten to dope himself up. He had been drawn to the same place, which was strange because he usually wandered so far and stopped so many places that he didn't remember anything when he woke up. The screams were definitely his, he realized, and they continued incessantly, increasing in volume long after a hand was clamped over his mouth. They were a child's screams, muffled at first, then piercing his ears and mind until he would have given anything to shut them up. He would have killed him himself if only it would make the screaming stop. Then his eyes snapped open and the hand that had refused to let go was on his shoulder, bigger, warmer. Except it was Kakashi's hand now. Kakashi. He smiled faintly at how quickly that name came to mind, even easier to remember than his own.

"Bad dream?" asked Kakashi. He was alarmed to see tears spill out of Iruka's eyes when he blinked up at him. He had appeared to be sleeping as deeply and peacefully as ever when he had reached down to shake him awake.

"Not mine," Iruka sighed. He rubbed the back of his hand over his eyes and pushed himself up. "Something is wrong. I never go to the same place twice. I have to stop doing this..."

"Doing what, exactly?"

"Indulging myself with you until I'm too content and tired to take my pill," Iruka huffed. For once he ignored the temptation of coffee, choosing instead to pull Kakashi into a good morning kiss. Even after the excesses of last night, Kakashi remained temptation personified. He wanted to drown himself in his fluid heat and never come up for air. Suffocating. Had he been suffocating in a closet? He broke the kiss and took one of the coffee cups Kakashi held with a befuddled and apologetic smile. If he was going to be drawn to the same place he should at least be able to put the details together. He could have sworn he had been kneeling in a hallway when the screams started. He didn't recall anything about a closet. Maybe he had been more places than one, after all.

"Are you ever going to tell me what that pill of yours does?"

Kakashi's pout reminded Iruka of the way he had whined last night when he had refused to even try taking both halves of him at once. As if Kakashi had any right to complain. It was no wonder the man never bottomed. He was a wimp when it came to his own discomfort. Like a spoiled child, really. It wasn't the least bit sexy. "You look like a ten year-old when you pout," Iruka informed him. He laughed when that lower lip protruded even more. "Stop it before I start feeling like a perverted old man."

"I deserve something for letting you defile me," Kakashi complained. "I'm still sore."

"Then you can imagine how I feel," Iruka pointed out. He supposed he would have to heal Kakashi's ass while he was soothing away his own aches. The prospect had him laughing again. "I like you..."

"I noticed," Kakashi said smugly.

Iruka noticed that he didn't return the compliment. He didn't stop watching him expectantly, either. "Have you noticed that I'm very normal? Boring, even?" Kakashi's eyebrows shot up, which was somewhat flattering. Iruka sighed. "The medication I take is a marvel and the woman who designed it is terrifying. But there is nothing at all special about what it does to me or why I need it." He hadn't intended to make it into a mystery with his silence, he just didn't like talking about it. It had ruined the majority of his life. Kakashi was expecting something impressive or horrible and in truth it wasn't either, it was just a pointless shame. "All it does is keep me from sleepwalking. Mentally."

"Telepathy?"

"No," Iruka muttered. Did Kakashi have to sound so hopeful? Telepathy would have been nice and useful. Telepaths were rare and powerful and he could only wish he had something like that. "It's more like what Ino does, except I can't do anything to the person I make contact with. I don't even remember who I am. I wander off, lose myself, and experience things through the eyes of others. Only bad things." Because his desire was to help and without remembering himself he always forgot that he couldn't help in any way. "Nightmares, memories, pain and death and I can't do anything about any of it."

"Except keep yourself from roaming," Kakashi said slowly. "That's why your energy tries to latch onto anyone nearby when you sleep. It's trying to roam."

"It does?" Iruka winced. "Even with the drug?"

"I said it tries," Kakashi said soothingly, "not that it succeeds. Your blanket keeps it from going very far. I noticed it that first night, when you fell asleep on me. Energy isn't supposed to behave like that. It's unnatural."

"That's why I take the drug. Before I started taking it, I was–" He didn't even know how to describe it because he couldn't remember anything from those years. "Tenka says I was like an empty slate every time I woke up. He thinks I cut myself hoping the scar would help me remember my own name. If I did, it didn't help. I had to keep a journal for that." According to Tenka, when they had met he had slept with a card tied around his wrist reminding himself that he was Umino Iruka and not to believe anything anyone said until he had read his journal. He couldn't even conceive of having lived that way.

"This is worse than I thought," Kakashi drawled.

"You're mocking me!" Iruka knew he should have been outraged, furious even, but he couldn't get past the startled hurt. He shouldn't have told him anything. He should have let him go on thinking he had some mysterious power hidden away. Kakashi, with his copied talents and directionless life, would never understand how it felt to want to save the world while being unable to even save himself without suppressing what few talents he did have. A hand reached toward his cheek and he jerked his head away from it. "Get out of my room."

Kakashi sat down on the edge of the bed, which placed him right in Iruka's lap and stopped him from issuing another eviction notice. "Iruka, I am not mocking you." He smiled when all he got was a snort of disbelief. "I'm mocking myself. I thought I had you all figured out. I thought that drug of yours was what blocked you from being read by Sai and his group. I had you down as a reactor all blanketed over so your energy won't spill out onto whatever mutants happen to be nearby."

"My energy does not spill out on anyone," Iruka said stiffly. It was difficult to be anything else but stiff when he had a lap full of Kakashi. "I have better control than that."

"When you're awake," Kakashi agreed. He casually leaned sideways until Iruka's arm came up to brace him. He was so accommodating. "But what happens to the mutants you go to in your sleep?"

"I don't know." He had never given it much thought. "I never know who they are. I don't even know if they are mutants. They're just people, males usually, and I'm seeing things through their eyes. Bunchu helped me do it with Tenka a while back and he never knew I was in there. I assume the others don't, either. Sakura is the only one who ever noticed me, and that's only because she has a separate personality that saw me before I was drawn into her memory."

"I'll have to ask her about that some time," Kakashi decided. He clearly hadn't paid enough attention to the girls' talents. "It appears Naruto isn't the only one around here who needs to do some experimenting with his talents."

"Are you suggesting that I-" Soft lips cut him off, and then his lap was empty and Kakashi was plucking away his coffee cup. It was a good thing he had drunk most of it or it probably would have spilled.

"I suggest you get dressed, put on your game face, and go help Sasuke with breakfast. We have an important meeting in a few hours."

One he had been meaning to talk to Kakashi about. "I am not going to-"

"Be late," Kakashi finished for him, even though he knew that wasn't what Iruka had been about to say. "He hates that, after all."

Mask firmly in place, he left the room before Iruka could reiterate his refusal to take Naruto along with them. Sasuke had stuck around. If Sasuke was willing to walk in there on his own two feet, then Iruka would survive having Naruto walk in along with them. The address was for a public place, after all. If there was slaughter on the menu, it would probably be delivered afterward. There was a method even to madness. He just had to put the pieces together. That would have been easier it he weren't still missing some of the key ones.

.-.

Shikamaru and Gaara were missing for breakfast. Iruka assumed they had gone to see Bunchu again. If he had known Hiko was going to be getting this much company he wouldn't have agreed to let Tenka hide out at his house for the night. It was just as well that he had, though. Tenka would keep an eye on things while they were gone. Iruka hoped he kept an especially close eye on Sai. The boy had shown a suspicious lack of interest when he learned that the four of them would be going out for a while. Iruka hadn't given up on the idea of Sai doing something at the last minute to keep Naruto from being involved, but he was starting to worry that any interference on his part might backfire and make things even worse. So Iruka kept his mouth shut, maintained a casually pleasant demeanor for the kids' sake, and ultimately left the house at a brisk pace as if his mind wasn't rebelling with every single step. Naruto spoke up the moment they reached the sidewalk and it was all Iruka could do not to whip around, grab him up, and race him right back into the house.

"Where are we going, anyway?" asked Naruto. His nervous excitement was a physical thing. He could feel it on his arms, almost see it shimmering in the air. It was actually happening, finally, and Sasuke was walking right there beside him. True, Sasuke was blank and cold and looked more like a killer than a person, but he was within reach of his hand. The only thing that kept Naruto from reaching out was the fear that Sasuke would flinch away, possibly even bolt, if he did.

"The coffee shop," Iruka said gloomily. The very same shop where he and Kakashi had first learned of Itachi's impending arrival. He knew there were only so many places in town that served tea, but the coincidence still struck him as intentional if not cruel. Kakashi's sleeve brushed his arm and he glared down at it. They might as well be reliving that first walk home through the fields for all the concern Kakashi was showing.

"He invited us to tea at a coffee shop?" Naruto made a face when no one else commented on the weirdness of that. "I don't like tea." Sasuke faltered a step, but when he glanced over at him he was still blankly focused and closed off.

Kakashi snorted in amusement. Leave it to Naruto to ruin the doom and gloom Iruka and Sasuke were trying so hard to drown them all in. "If he offers you tea, you take it, Naruto. Assuming things even progress that far."

"This is insanity," Iruka stated. Was he the only one who saw that? The shop was right there, less than a block away.

"When in Rome," Kakashi drawled.

Iruka was sorely tempted to hit him. "You do not play into the delusions of a madman. That only encourages them." Then he had to shut up because they were at the door and that bizarre looking shark-man was stepping out to hold the door open for them.

"Looking good, kid," Kisame greeted Sasuke. "Shoot up another foot and grow that hair out and you could give him a run for it."

Sasuke didn't even look at him, but Naruto did. He bristled and glared at the man's pointy teeth. This had to be the shark Sasuke had told him about, the one his journal said had stolen every drop of energy he had. Kyuubi wanted to claw him up for that, but they had bigger fish to fry. Naruto followed Sasuke inside and finally got his first look at the infamous Itachi.

The resemblance was undeniable. The man was facing the door, seated at a small table with only three empty chairs. He was young, pale, with long black hair held in a low tail that let strands fall along his face in a style that almost reminded Naruto of Hiko, except on Itachi it was downright pretty. He would have been struck by that, how damned pretty he was with that black hair and those red eyes, if this hadn't been Sasuke's insane bastard brother who needed to be killed for every horrible thing he had done to Sasuke over the years. The man seemed utterly casual, as blank-faced as Sasuke at his worst, as he looked at Iruka and Kakashi. Then his gaze shifted past them to Sasuke and those eyes narrowed. Naruto never saw him move, but suddenly he was standing a foot away from the adults and his eyes had swirled into a black three-bladed pinwheel that was nothing like the rounded star-like pattern Sasuke's sharingan had taken that time. Somehow Itachi's was much worse and it wasn't even being directed at him. Naruto couldn't move, couldn't tear his eyes away to even look at Sasuke. Kyuubi did it for him. Naruto immediately wished he hadn't because Sasuke's eyes were pitch black as if he wasn't even trying to counter that creepy stare.

"What have you done, little brother?"

That soft voice sent claws scurrying down Iruka's back, but his eyes remained locked on the terrified woman standing behind the counter across the way. She was just doing her job, trying to make a living, and now she was trapped by two inconsiderate mutants who had come in as if they owned the place and frightened all of her customers away. "You're being very rude," Iruka heard himself saying. "We haven't even been introduced yet." Those strange eyes flicked to him and he fought to keep his revulsion off his face. One didn't play into another man's madness. He knew better. Yet he couldn't help pointing out, "You did invite us to tea."

"I did," said Itachi. "Pardon my rudeness. It pains me to see that my foolish little brother still has not learned to let go."

Iruka's right hand clenched painfully and then those eyes shifted away and he found himself looking back over his shoulder just in time to see Sasuke leave the shop. It only took a split second for Naruto to chase after him. When Iruka glanced back, Itachi's eyes were three black curls on red, no different from Kakashi's. Iruka suddenly knew why there were only three empty chairs at the table Itachi had chosen. The man had never intended the boys to join them for this, whatever this was.

"Please have a seat," Itachi invited, with an elegant wave to the table he had chosen. "The tea here is weak but passable. Kisame assures me that the cakes, however, are divine."

The woman behind the counter let out a high-pitched giggle that made Iruka worry for her sanity. Whatever Itachi had might very well be contagious. "That sounds lovely," said Iruka. He was grateful when Kakashi took him by the arm and escorted him to one of the chairs. Kakashi wasn't being very helpful, his face pale and pinched beneath his mask, but at least he wasn't cracking jokes or giggling frantically. Iruka could only cope with one madman at a time.

Kakashi kept quiet while Iruka soothed the shop-girl enough so that she only spilled a little of the tea she served them. The mannequin was looking much healthier than the first time Kakashi had seen him, more pale than gray, and just as casually batty as ever. He seemed to appreciate Iruka's particular brand of calm politeness. That was more unnerving than Kakashi liked to admit. The fact that Iruka could so easily look him in the eye made him wonder if he weren't a little crazy himself.

Iruka took a sip of the tea, which was indeed weak, and then got down to business. "What can I do for you, Uchiha-san?"

"An exchange of favors. You fix my little brother, and I will fix you."

Kakashi coughed around what might have been a laugh if he hadn't been watching Iruka take tea with the mannequin as casually as could be. "I wasn't aware that either of them were broken."

Itachi gave him an admonishing narrow-eyed look. "That is the only reason I have allowed you to keep that eye. Now hold your tongue before I change my mind. It's rude to interrupt."

And these two were very against rudeness. Kakashi nodded and went back to watching the spectacle silently. He supposed it was just as well that the boys weren't here for this. Naruto was even worse at keeping his mouth shut than he was.

.-.

Sasuke made it nearly a block before Naruto caught up with him. From the way he had bolted out the door, Naruto had expected him to be running. Instead, he was walking slowly down the middle of the sidewalk with the shark keeping pace just a step behind. Naruto barreled past the tinted fish-man and caught Sasuke by the arm.

"Sasuke! What are you doing?" He jerked him around only to freeze at his expression. This wasn't like the blank face Sasuke had been wearing earlier. His black eyes were wide, empty and unfocused, and his face was so emotionless he looked like a porcelain doll. "Sasuke...? Hey!" Naruto grabbed his shoulders and shook him hard. "Snap out of it, Sasuke! Wake up! We can't leave Iruka-sensei alone with-" His eyes dropped to see a pale blue-gray hand slip under his arms and push against his chest. He was shoved back so hard he stumbled and would have fallen on his ass if Kyuubi hadn't surged forward to catch them in a crouch. His head snapped up just in time to see Sasuke's eyes roll into the back of his head and the shark duck down to pick him up. "Don't touch him, you bastard!"

"Relax," Kisame grinned. The blonde might have some teeth when he went red-eyed like that, but they were nothing compared to his own. "I've got this. He might have shot up a few feet, but he's still tender as a seal pup when you get right down to it." He appreciated the way the fox's energy flared so thickly even he could see it. Unfortunately a fight in the streets in broad daylight wasn't his style, and definitely wasn't in the plan. Too many bystanders. "Behind you, kid."

Naruto whipped around and bared his teeth in absolute rage. The fucking interfering bastard! "You-"

Sai shoved his hand through that fiery energy, striking him hard on the stomach. It was like slamming the door of an incinerator, and more than worth the burns. That energy was cut off, Naruto's expression blanked, and his eyes fluttered shut. He crumpled to the sidewalk in a messy heap. This time Sai didn't bother trying to catch him. He was too late to get Iruka out of this, but he could at least remove Naruto from the equation. Naruto's fox might reside in his head, but when two personalities were connected that deeply it was always through the umbilical. This seal would keep them both locked up nice and tight.

Kisame raised an eyebrow at the blonde boy lying like a corpse on the sidewalk. Itachi was worried about someone like that? He swore he was never going to understand the way his mind worked. He raised his eyes to glower at the boy responsible. "You better hope that wears off fast."

"It won't," Sai said flatly. He knew all about Itachi's pet shark. The man wouldn't lift a finger against him when he had Itachi's little brother to protect. "He'll stay under until the seal is removed."

"Oh," Kisame sighed. "That's fine, then. You had me concerned for a second there." He shifted Sasuke so he had a hand free to point at the downed Naruto. "Itachi wants that one alive and unharmed. Bring him to the house when you're done, would you? I'll get enough attention just carrying one of them."

Sai wondered if the man's brain was as proportionately small as the fish he resembled. "I'll do no such thing." Then he tensed and clenched his teeth when a voice spoke up from right over his shoulder. He hadn't sensed anything.

"I would be glad to," said Gaara.

"Great," said Kisame. "Try not to take too long or make too much of a mess. This one is a meddlesome brat, but he's still a bystander. Rules, you know."

"Of course," Gaara acknowledged. He watched Kisame leave with Itachi's brother and waited patiently for Sai to face him. He had hoped following him would prove more interesting than sitting on the roof all day. When Sai finally turned it was with a face nearly as blank as his own. Gaara's interest kicked up a notch.

"You're working for them?" Sai asked in disbelief. He couldn't have misjudged the situation that badly. He had thought this boy was just another of Tenka's rescued mutants. Because that was just how Shikamaru had introduced him.

"I don't work for them. I'm just bored." Hopefully Sai could put up enough of a fight to alleviate some of that. If not, he could always threaten Sasuke when he brought Naruto there. He knew for a fact that Kisame could put up a good fight. "Unless you stop me, I'll be taking him with me now."

Sai's eyes narrowed. Gaara didn't look big enough to drag Naruto, let alone carry him. But if he was wrapped up with both Shikamaru and Itachi there was no telling what his talents really were. Shikamaru and Itachi? That was ridiculous! One was a reluctant do-gooder and the other a narcissistic psychopath who got his kicks from making grown men soil themselves. He glared at Gaara, trying to figure out how he might possibly fit into such an unholy union. "Where do you think you're taking him?"

Gaara ignored him as his sand crept over Naruto's stomach, feeling the seal that had been placed on him. It was just a small slip of paper, yet it seemed bound right through his clothes and into the flesh below. He wondered if ripping it off would be enough to release him, if he would immediately begin raging with that bold energy he had been using just minutes ago. Naruto could put up a good fight, too. Gaara had seen just how much damage the boy could take without going down. He wondered how Itachi would react if he decided to keep Naruto for himself. It would be very rude, after all.

Sai never had a chance to react. He saw that hollow container shimmer, explode into tiny particles, and then he was being swallowed in a fist of sand. His last thoughts were that if he survived he would quit. He'd had more than enough of this nonsense.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Iruka wasn't sure when Itachi stopped speaking aloud. He supposed it happened around the same time his eyes changed. He hated those eyes. They were penetrating, intrusive, and like Bunchu Itachi knew exactly how they made people feel. That was the only reason Iruka met them evenly. Because, unlike Bunchu, Itachi enjoyed the way his invasion disturbed people. He enjoyed it far too much.

"What makes you think the fault lies in Sasuke?" Iruka asked, and he could hear his voice even though he knew his mouth was no longer moving. "Perhaps it's you."

"Perhaps." But he didn't believe that. He was pandering to him as if he were a small child. Or an inferior being. "Rather than break, he was supposed to evolve, to shed the chains of human weakness and achieve a higher plain of existence as I did."

"Delusions of grandeur," said Iruka.

"A lack of blindness. I have seen what lies beyond this world. Would you like me to show you?"

"No, thank you. I prefer to live in this world." He much preferred sanity, as narrowly defined and limited as it was.

"You were before my time. Had you been one of mine you would have no choice but to accept what you've seen. Once I've finished with you, you will never see the world the same way again."

"I don't want you to do anything to me." He should have been frightened. He wanted to be. "I reject your exchange. Sasuke doesn't need to be fixed. All he needs is to be free of you." That was the wrong thing to say. Now there was fear, clenching tightly around him. He pushed anyway. "If you have shed your human weakness, why cling to him?"

"Because he's mine. A thorn in my side. A distraction when I have better things to do. A constant reminder of my one mistake."

The anger was oppressive, viciously so, because for all his 'evolution' he did have one human weakness and he carried it around with him everywhere he went. Iruka couldn't breathe. He didn't need to breathe when he wasn't speaking aloud. "Maybe you're the one who needs to learn when to let go."

"You will fix him. I don't have time to continue repairing him and I will not allow all of my efforts to have been in vain. You will do your part. In exchange, I will repair the damage Orochimaru did to you. I can't undo the past, but I can open the future to you. What you want most is to save the world. I will give you what you want. To save the world, first you must see it."

He felt as helpless as a child being pushed toward an ominous doorway to pitch blackness. He wanted to fight, to struggle and plead just like a child, but all that came out was a whisper. "I don't want to."

Horrible amusement bubbled over the back of his neck as he was shoved head first into the dark. The voice followed him down, echoing mercilessly. "People so rarely want what they think they want."

.-.

The moment those eyes locked onto Iruka, Kakashi found himself questioning things he had known for years. His life had value because he enjoyed it. Risking his life to spare someone else a little pain was at best masochistic, at worst pointless. Wise people knew when to bow out and minimize their losses. And so on and so forth. All common sense, pessimistic in its realism and callous in its delivery. So he called himself an optimistic fool when his hand rose and prodded the band off his left eye. The energy enveloping Iruka was dark and tight. Where Iruka's shadow had been a heavy blanket, this was a clamp with the tiniest of threads connecting his blank eyes to Itachi's. It would be very easy to cut that thread. Tempting, even. If he hadn't been such a cynic he would have done so without hesitation. Since he valued his life he forced himself to consider the results before leaning forward.

"Be still," Itachi said quietly, without blinking or looking over. "Interfere and I may inadvertently kill him."

Common sense warned that you never bluffed with someone who had a better poker face than your own. But in for a penny in for a pound, as someone somewhere was supposed to have said. "Maybe I'm willing to risk that."

"I'm not," said Itachi. He slowly lifted his right hand so his loosely splayed fingers pointed at Kakashi. "Would you like me to remove that eye? You will never have the blood to use it properly. Stronger men than you have died for what you have, and you don't even appreciate it."

"I never asked for it," Kakashi pointed out. Since his full attention was on that casually lifted hand, he couldn't help but notice Itachi's fingernails were the same dark blue-gray shade as the shark's. That detail did dangerous things to his mind. Had Itachi painted his nails to match? Or had the shark done that for him? When he found himself wondering if Itachi's toenails bore the same shade he knew he was slipping fast. He covered the sharingan and that hand dropped. Unfortunately, it remained on the table where the nail polish was clearly visible.

"You should have died for it," Itachi said, seemingly oblivious to Kakashi's preoccupation with his nails. "Had I known you had that eye I might not have let my little brother go with you."

"And here I thought we had snuck out of Japan right underneath your nose," Kakashi drawled. No matter how insane the man was, it simply wasn't in him to be afraid of someone who painted his nails to match his shark. "Why did you let him go with me?"

"To see what would happen. An experiment, if you will. He was supposed to kill you."

"Sasuke did try a few times," Kakashi admitted. The brat deserved that much credit. "His heart just wasn't in it." That painted hand snapped into a tight fist and he saw his upper lip twitch in what would probably have been an actual curl had he been normal. He poked a little harder. "Sasuke tries to hide it, but he's really a very sweet kid."

"I will rip your tongue out through your nostrils."

Kakashi blinked. Somehow, a threat like that carried more weight when it was given in such a politely inviting tone. He still couldn't picture those prettily manicured fingers plunging into a man's nasal cavity. Instead, it reminded him of Sasuke's sly invitations of violence. "You sound like you're flirting with me."

"Do you think I can't kill you while my attention is divided?"

"I'm fairly sure you could," Kakashi admitted. "I'm just not convinced you want to. Why are you here? What exactly are you doing to Iruka?"

That hand uncurled and a small smile graced his mouth. "I am giving him what he wants. I always give mine what they want the most. The question is whether they still want it once they have it. Do you? Do you still long for entertainment? Or has my difficult little brother managed to cure you of your boredom? Your tendency to wander has diminished notably since I lent him to you. Are you glad? Or do you wish you had never laid eyes on him?"

"I wish I had never laid eyes on you. Sasuke, I don't mind so much." That creepy little smile vanished as if it had never been. It was his use of Sasuke's name that did it. "Do you ever call Sasuke by his name?"

"Why would I?"

"Why wouldn't you?" To Kakashi it was no different from the way Sai's group refused to refer to him by name. A way to dehumanize him. They both viewed him as an extension of Itachi, a possession of his, rather than a person in his own right. "You might get along better if you did."

"You think I want that? You are a strange man. It was your reputation that led me to hand you my little brother, yet you never touched him. Not once. Instead you chose this one. Explain that to me and I may be persuaded not to kill you for being such a disappointment to me."

"You're disappointed that I never touched your 'little' brother?" The idea of that hurt Kakashi's brain so badly it banished any lingering fear he might have had. It was no use fighting it any more. "You're a certifiable fruitcake. You do know that, don't you?"

"You have spent more time in a padded cell than I have. Did it warp your mind? Or did it open your eyes to your true purpose in life?"

"I was never crazy, just misunderstood," Kakashi scowled. The moment he said it, he realized his mistake. Itachi wasn't normal enough to smirk or raise an eyebrow, but he didn't need to be. Kakashi knew very well that he had walked into that one. He refused to be compared to this nut. "I don't go around attacking children. If that's what you heard about me, you were grossly misinformed." Possibly by a jealous ex of his? That was a depressing thought. He liked to think that he left satiated happiness behind him, not resentment.

"I was informed that you attack anything with two legs. I began to suspect otherwise when you instigated that legal nonsense regarding custody. Rest assured, I gave that man ample time to regret his lies before he died."

"That's nice of you," Kakashi winced. He wasn't sure how much more of this he could take. While he wasn't afraid of the guy any more, he was worried that his craziness might be catching. Iruka had said playing into a madman's nuttiness only made it worse. He sent a queasy look at Iruka, who merely appeared as if he were sleeping with his eyes open. This was beginning to strike him as akin to watching a rape in progress. That Iruka appeared to be unconscious during it didn't make it any less disturbing. Would stopping it really kill him? If this was a mind-fuck then severing that energy could leave the freak's mental cock firmly embedded in Iruka's brain. Kakashi thought he was going to be sick. "How much longer is this going to take?"

"I have been told it feels like days. For me, it is done in a matter of seconds. The human mind is such a frail, easily confused, organ. Had you only looked at me with the sharingan my little brother so foolishly gave you, you might have recovered quickly enough to see me leave. As it is, I advise you to make yourself comfortable. By the time you wake up my business may very well be done here. Until then, you may ask me whatever you like. As with your sexual proclivities, your curiosity proceeds you. That, I know, was not a lie."

Dread froze Kakashi's entire body. "Are you saying that this is..."

"All in your mind?" Itachi smiled. "You could say that."

.-.

Sai woke feeling as if he had survived a trip through a wood-chipper. For a long painful while he wished he hadn't. The instant he opened his eyes and realized that he could not only open them but see through them as well, he was glad to still be alive. He was more glad to find that his teeth were back in place. He clearly remembered having a few jagged roots scratching loosely over his tongue when the bones in his face had been crushed inward. Swallowing some of the blood left in his mouth, he cleared his throat and stared at the man leaning over him. "I wonder how the Order would react to you saving me."

Kabuto snorted softly as he repaired the boy's ribs. He couldn't recall the last time he'd had such small fragments to work with. "Since you no longer work for them, does it matter?"

That was rather presumptuous of him. Sai's lips pulled into a painful smile. "I never actually said I would quit."

"They don't tolerate failure. If you went back to them, they'd kill you."

"I thought they might," Sai sighed. "No one ever talks about the members who fail to return. I suspected they might have been disposed of by the Order itself."

"And immediately destroyed," Kabuto said in disgust. "They don't even use the bodies."

"You could have used mine," Sai pointed out. He supposed the man still could. His hands were swollen skin bags full of jagged bits. If those weren't healed he wouldn't be drawing anything ever again.

"You're more useful alive."

"To the mutant you work for?" Sai made a face at that prospect. "I'd rather go back to the Order. I prefer being in control of my own body."

"You wouldn't have a body if it weren't for me. You'd still be a puddle of goop on that sidewalk. That's no more than you deserve for standing there like an idiot before Gaara of the Sand. All you had to do was attack him and he would have held back in order to prolong the fight. You can fight with your talents, can't you?"

"Only if I prepare in advance," Sai admitted. He had to internalize his sketches for that. Had he done that instead of putting his energy into that seal he could have replaced his mutilated hands with little more than a mental picture. Instead, he had followed his orders and set out to detain with no plans of fighting anyone. "I was still approaching this as a recording task."

"Watch and record. Prevent interference without interfering yourself. And all for what?" Kabuto sneered in disdain. "To free Itachi of his only weakness? If they think they'll benefit from that, they're as insane as he is. We certainly won't do it for them."

"Not on purpose," said Sai. "It is predicted to be an accident. We don't know whether it's one of you or Uchiha himself who accidentally kills him, only that it is predicted to happen during this encounter. That's the one outcome the Order favors."

"Thus proving their insanity. And you willingly worked for them."

"I wasn't given enough information to truly understand the situation," Sai said in his defense. "I agreed to the task and did my best to fulfill it. That I'm relieved the wild cards have prevented me from doing so is of no consequence. My part is done."

"For now." Kabuto eyed him closely as he worked. Now that the boy was no longer a member of the Black Order he wouldn't have to defend his actions to Orochimaru. He wouldn't even have to mention him if he didn't choose to do so. "Since you have tasted the futility of meddling with the future, are you interested in working with the present and past?"

The man certainly knew how to tempt a person. Sai was careful not to let that show. "It would depend on the work. And the employer."

"You would be working for whoever is willing to give you what you want in exchange for the information you gain. As for the work..." His mouth twisted into a mocking smile. "We're hunting demons. You have just survived your first encounter with one."

.-.

Gaara was enjoying himself immensely. Kisame didn't require an overt threat to his charge in order to fight him. The moment Gaara had arrived with Naruto, Kisame had grinned and offered to repay him with 'a little action' while he waited for Itachi to get back. There was no close contact, no real attacks that might have endangered him and triggered a change. But he was able to use his sand freely without his opponent getting so much as a scratch on him. That was what he liked best, actually being able to use his talents without it ending the moment it started. Kisame wasn't as fast as Sasuke and didn't have the healing energy of Naruto. What he had was thick skin and an enormous jagged sword that reduced his attacks to a dusty nuisance. The blade swallowed his energy ravenously, ripping and tearing through his sand as if it was a feast. Kisame's grin was wide, revealing nearly as many teeth as his unusual blade. Gaara couldn't remember the last time he had faced someone who enjoyed the clash as much as he did. He threw his energy into bringing forth more sand until the earth shook under his feet.

A hand fell on his shoulder and Gaara froze. His sand fell heavily around Kisame, who also froze, looking over at him with a grimace. Gaara looked back over his shoulder, marveling at the man's ability to come so close, to touch him, without his sand automatically acting to shield him. His brother had managed the same thing with his punch yesterday and Gaara still couldn't figure out how.

"You'll destroy the house," Itachi said in a lightly admonishing tone.

"Sorry," Kisame said quickly. "Got a little carried away."

"Where is my little brother?"

"Livingroom. I was just thanking Gaara. He brought the fox along. I put him with Sasuke."

"You put them together?"

Kisame cringed, his face paling as much as his complexion allowed. "He's sealed. And your brother is still out of it, so..." Itachi stalked past him and he flinched at the look on his face. "Fuck."

Although Gaara was annoyed to have his fight interrupted, he was curious enough to follow Kisame to the house. "Didn't he want them both?"

"Not together, apparently," Kisame grimaced. "He could have mentioned that."

The house wasn't as dark without the black bags over the windows, Gaara noted. The light shone through thick dust to illuminate the two boys, who were right where they had left them. Sasuke was slumped forward with his back against the wall and Naruto was curled on his side next to him. Itachi stood over them for a long moment and then kicked Naruto in the stomach so he landed over by the fireplace. That little slip of paper fluttered to the floor. Gaara's eyes narrowed at that. He had spent ten minutes trying and failing to remove that seal. It annoyed him that Itachi had done it so easily. The man bent and lifted his brother by the neck so he was pressed up against the wall at eye level with him. The boy let out some choking sounds, but his eyes remained closed. Gaara frowned behind his mask. "Why are you strangling him?" He wasn't even awake to feel it.

Kisame winced and grabbed Gaara's arm, paying no attention to the automatic wash of sand that tried to slice up his hand. "Why don't we go back outside and pick up where we left off?"

"Do that," Itachi said, without looking back at them. "But do it at a safe distance from the house."

"Sure thing," said Kisame.

Gaara let himself be drawn back outside. His interest, however, remained back in that room. He had more than enough sand near the house to form an eye. He wondered if Itachi would notice if he watched from one of the windows, and if Itachi would care if he did notice. He supposed that depended on what exactly Itachi was doing in there. "Is he going to kill him?"

"Sasuke?" asked Kisame. "Not a chance. The other one? Who knows."

Since Gaara was mostly interested in fighting Itachi's brother, he was glad to know the strangulation wasn't a prelude to murder. He was still curious why Itachi had him against the wall. The last time he had seen two people up against a wall like that they had been engaged in what he strongly suspected was sex. Shikamaru had refused to confirm or deny that, but the two men had certainly been unhappy with the interruption. He sent a look back at the house as he followed Kisame over the short wall that separated the back yard from the field. "Is he going to have sex with his brother?"

Kisame fell head first. He was just picking himself up off the ground when Gaara glanced back at him. Groaning, he rubbed grass out of his hair as he eyed the boy. "Don't even go there. I asked him that once and he busted half my teeth. Took weeks for them to grow back. Just assume he's not and hope you're right. If he's that far gone, we're all doomed."

That was as uninformative as Shikamaru's 'forget you ever saw that' had been. Gaara decided he would definitely set an eye to the window, just in case.

.-.

It was the impact with the floor that woke Kakashi up to reality. Days, Itachi had said. It felt like weeks frozen in that chair being engaged in insane conversation while the bastard plundered Iruka's mind. Once he understood what was happening, helplessness had rushed in to fill the void left by his lack of fear. Rage had followed soon after. And still time had dripped by, sluggish and thick. He had tried to attack him, and found himself unable to move. He had refused to engage him in conversation, and found the sound of Iruka's shallow breathing was worse than anything Itachi had to say. He had tried to anger him, and learned that Itachi had counted on Sasuke becoming attached to him, all the better for him to learn his lesson when he was betrayed by him. The fact that Kakashi had never betrayed Sasuke was a surprise, a disappointment, but ultimately inconsequential. The only thing Itachi had shown a true reaction to was his lack of attraction toward his brother, which he took to represent an equal lack of attraction to himself. It figured he was a narcissist as well as a fruitcake.

"Are you all right, Sir?"

Kakashi sat up on the floor and stared at the blurry figure until he recognized the colors as the shop girl's uniform. "...still here?" He didn't know whether that slurred question had been for her or himself. Since he had been trapped in that chair it made sense that he was still in the coffee shop. She, on the other hand, should have been long gone by now. The question must have been meant for her, then.

"You're welcome to stay as long as you like," the woman said quickly, too quickly for Kakashi to follow properly. "I don't mean to rush you. He did pay me to keep the closed sign up all day. But maybe we should call someone for your friend? Unless he usually looks like that? Oh! Mutants. Of course. I'm sorry. Forget I said anything, please. I won't bother you again. Unless you need something, of course. He did pay in advance. Very well, too." Her piercing giggle stabbed into Kakashi's head as she stumbled back a step, turned, and scurried away.

Kakashi stared after her for what might have been an hour. Or it might have been a matter of seconds. His sense of time was still warped. He scrubbed a hand over his face, dislodging his headband, and suddenly everything snapped into focus. Iruka. He scrambled to his feet only to lurch against the table when his body failed to match the speed of his mind. The movement caused Iruka to slump further sideways in his chair. His eyes were still open, glazed over and empty, and his energy was nonexistent. The bastard hadn't just fucked with his head, he had sucked him dry. Kakashi's hand shook as he reached out to press Iruka's eyes closed. If he hadn't already been unconscious, the lack of energy would have put him into a coma. There was nothing he could do about that, or about anything for that matter. Anything he did do would only make things worse. He continued reminding himself of that rational fact as he bent to lift Iruka out of the chair.

"Does this shop have a back room?" he asked the woman. He couldn't carry Iruka into the house like this. The kids would go nuts. Tenka would probably charge off to get revenge, and it would be Kakashi's fault when he got killed in the attempt.

"We do, but he didn't pay me to-" She gulped, choking a little when Kakashi turned and she saw his red eye. "Oh. Of course, you're free to use it if you want. Please do! It's right through there!"

"Thank you." He just hoped the room was dark. This was a much longer trip than going from Iruka's bedroom to the bathroom right downstairs.

.-.

Naruto woke to the sound of screams. They were distant enough that he might have been able to ignore them if they hadn't reminded him of Sasuke. That was stupid. After all, he had never heard Sasuke scream and couldn't imagine him ever screaming like that. He opened his eyes to find himself lying on a full-sized Kyuubi, his legs bent and sticking ickily in one of the fox's ears. He pulled himself up and slid backwards to land on one of Kyuubi's tails. His fox was lying on his side, with his back up so tight against the outside of the cage that his fur stuck messily through the bars. Naruto dropped to the ground and stumbled over to look him in the eye. Kyuubi blinked slowly at him and he wanted to ask why he was so big, why they had been sleeping like that, maybe apologize for sticking his feet in his ear. But then he noticed that the screaming had stopped. In the silence he could hear footsteps coming closer until they stopped right next to him. Kyuubi shot bolt upright and Naruto whirled to rush to the front of his mind.

His stomach hurt, a tight burn that ate all the way to his spine. He was lying on a hard floor with his left arm bent under him so the fingers of that hand felt cold and numb. How long had he been lying like that? He blinked through dusty air and found himself staring at sandalled feet just a short way from his head. The sandals reminded him of Sasuke's, but the toes were painted a dark bluish-gray. Sasuke would never do that. He stared at those improbable toes for a long moment and then looked past them. The heat in his stomach flared painfully. Sasuke was slumped against a moldy-looking wall, his head tilted back and his black eyes wide open. His bleak expression was so hopeless Naruto felt like he was drowning, but it was the tears streaming down his face that killed him.

He clawed his way off the floor and lunged to him. He got close enough for the fingers of one hand to touch his damp cheek, then someone snagged the back of his jacket and flung him across the room. Kyuubi was a rage of heat burning his skin. They rebounded off another dirty wall and whipped around to snarl at the bastard responsible.

Itachi's face was utterly blank, but his eyes were so narrow the pinwheels in their center made them appear more black than red. "Don't ever touch him in front of me."

"What did you do to him?" Naruto demanded. His voice would have broken if it hadn't been thick with Kyuubi's rage.

"What I always do to him," said Itachi. "Whatever I want. He belongs to me and will until the day he kills me."

Sasuke wouldn't have to wait that long. They were going to kill the bastard and Naruto knew now that he had been wrong. He was going to enjoy it just as much as Kyuubi without having any regrets. He didn't just want to kill him. He wanted him to suffer. Kyuubi's energy boiled around and even through him until he could barely see the man through the haze. All of the tactics they had considered, distractions, clones, shielding, attacking with energy tails, all of it fell to the wayside. Nothing would serve save ripping him apart with their bare hands. And teeth. They launched themselves at him and later, much too late, they would regret having forgotten one of the few things they knew about Sasuke's brother. He was fast.

Itachi stepped aside. Catching Naruto's right arm, he wrenched it out of the socket and pinned it behind his back. His own right hand closed around Naruto's neck just beneath the chin and lifted him off the floor. Claws raked bone deep along his right side, but he gave no reaction to it. His eyes bore into Naruto's and he said, "Back."

To Naruto it felt as if his spine had been hooked to a speeding train. He was yanked backward so hard and fast that he fell on his ass when it let go. He was sitting inside his own cage, only now there were bloody chains twined through the bars all the way around it. More chains were wrapped around Kyuubi, holding his enormous body in a painfully tight crouch so he was staring right at the man standing in front of his snout. Revulsion and self-loathing coursed through Naruto until he wanted to throw up. Itachi was in his head. How could they? Sasuke had warned them. They had looked him right in the eye and now he was in here with them.

"How does it feel?" Itachi asked Kyuubi. "Contained within such a powerless host. Even now, he has saved himself and left you at my mercy. Does that demand loyalty? The chains binding you are your own. They bind you to him because you allow them to do so."

Naruto lurched to his feet, futilely trying to envision a door in the floor or roof of the cage. He grabbed the bars and those chains surrounding him flared a bloody dripping red. He wrenched his hands free to stare in shock at the red welts on his palms. He felt no pain. Kyuubi was growling so hard he should have felt it beneath his feet. But he didn't. He was trapped, cut off. Kyuubi was right there and he couldn't get to him. And Itachi expected Kyuubi to believe he had put himself in this cage on purpose? He grabbed the bars again, ignoring the smell of his burning flesh as he screamed through them. "Leave him alone! Get out of my head, you bastard!"

Kyuubi bared his teeth, straining to lift his head enough to open his jaws. The chains burned through his fur, biting into his flesh, but he didn't care. It would only take one bite.

"You don't believe me," said Itachi. "But you know you weren't born to this body. You were free once. You must remember how it felt. The raw power, unrivaled except by others of your own kind. Now look at you. Chained and helpless within a human boy's mind."

"He's a mutant," Kyuubi said viciously.

"A few mutated genes does not a new species make. He is human and you are anything but."

"What do you want with me?"

"I want you to let go. Shed those chains. Leave behind that petty human weakness that keeps you here. What is it to you? Love? Pity? Have you been trapped here for so long that you entertain such human emotions?"

Kyuubi's rage was so deep he ceased growling. He didn't have emotions like that. He refused to have them. But he wouldn't admit that to this man, wouldn't say anything this man wanted him to say. Naruto might be trapped in the cage he had made, but he was also protected within it. That was enough. Itachi might have made it into Naruto's head, but he would never get inside his own. Nothing he said mattered because he didn't matter. "You're a dead man."

"For forcing you to face the truth?" Itachi asked curiously. "For endangering your host?" His eyes narrowed and his voice became deadly. "Or for torturing your mate?"

Kyuubi fought back a shiver as an icy chill bit into him everywhere except along those burning chains. Had he gotten that from Naruto? He must have. Kyuubi refused to believe his own thoughts were that easily stolen.

"I knew the moment I saw him," Itachi murmured. "He's filthy with your host's energy. Tainted. If you wanted him that badly you should have shed this weak shell and taken him yourself. What kind of demon shares his chosen mate with another? You are a disgrace to your kind."

"He's not a demon!" Naruto screamed at him. Kyuubi was his fox. They shared everything because they were together through everything. They were meant to be that way. Kyuubi knew that. He had to. "Don't listen to anything he says, Kyuubi!"

"As if I would," Kyuubi snapped irritably. He didn't need Naruto to remind him who his enemy was. Sasuke was his mate. Itachi would pay for forcing him to see his mate so broken. "You will die for what you've done to him."

"What I have done?" Itachi tilted his head, giving a slow look from Kyuubi's teeth to his claws. "You're a demon. We both know what you would like to do to him. He is too weak for the likes of you. His mind would shatter into a million pieces if you were to even attempt it. I could fix that. Let go. Shed those chains and come with me, and I will give you what you want. He will never know what you do, and you will never have to face having broken him yourself."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Naruto cried. "He's your own brother!"

"He is my little brother," Itachi said, his eyes holding Kyuubi's. "My foolish little brother, who has allowed himself to be tainted by a mere boy after I have spent years protecting him from powerful men. He isn't worthy of you. But I will lend him to you if that's what you want the most. All you have to do is let go of your weakness. Leave this cage behind and come with me."

Kyuubi was silent for so long that Naruto wondered if he was actually tempted. How could he be? Itachi wasn't offering him Sasuke, he was offering use of his mindless body. Kyuubi had to be as disgusted by that as he was. The man was offering to pimp out his own brother. And for what? "You sick fuck," Naruto growled. "What the hell do you want with my fox?"

"Are you his?" Itachi asked Kyuubi. "His fox? His pet? You don't have to be." The chains around Kyuubi tightened until his nose was low enough for Itachi to lay a hand on it. "Will you come to heel for the rest of his life? Or will you let him go and walk free to live a life of your own?"

Kyuubi's eyes narrowed as he felt his resolve weakening. That wasn't him. The man was doing something to him. He had to be. Kyuubi wanted power and freedom. He wanted Sasuke. But he also wanted Naruto. If he was a demon, then he was a selfish creature who wanted what he wanted and wouldn't settle for less than everything he wanted. He tensed, fighting whatever the man's touch was doing to him. Then his ears twitched. There was a sound outside of them, and then the man and the chains that had been holding him vanished. Kyuubi shook himself and rushed over to tear at the chains that were still binding Naruto's cage.

"What's going on?" asked Naruto.

"Sasuke," Kyuubi growled. That had definitely been a whistle he had heard. This was the only time he would ever be glad to be trapped in that damned energy shield of his.

Naruto's eyes burned as he thought of how Sasuke had looked. He wiped them quickly. "Do you really think it's him?"

"It could be Kakashi," Kyuubi allowed. He doubted it, though. Kakashi was too afraid of Itachi to get involved in this. "Either way, we have to get these chains off. If the person who made the shield goes down that bastard will be right back in here."

"Only if he catches our eyes. Forget the chains. I'm fine in here. Make sure our eyes are closed and do that disembodied looking around thing you do. Only do it so I can see, too."

Kyuubi gave one last painful yank at the chains with his teeth before giving up. He was very disturbed by the fact that they hadn't vanished along with his own. But Naruto was right. Naruto was safe in the cage. Whoever had saved them wasn't the least bit safe.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Sasuke came to faster than he had the last time Itachi had caught him with those eyes. His immediate response was still the same. He found himself being crushed by a mindless overwhelming fear that made everything in him recoil. He was instinctively driven to flee yet physically and mentally unable to do so. Usually it was the burning of his unfocused eyes that caused him to blink, to close them and breathe until his mind finally accepted that there was no longer anything to escape from and his body eventually loosened enough for him to function. It was over, Itachi was gone, he was still alive, so he needed to get up now. Except Itachi wasn't gone this time. He was standing right there. Any second now and he might turn and do it again. A voiceless sob caught in his throat and the sharingan whirled to life. And then he saw what else was different this time. Itachi's back was to him because he was focused on Naruto, who was dangling limply from his raised fist.

He had no idea how long it took him to comprehend what he was seeing. There was blood on Naruto's left hand and more blood seeping into the floor by Itachi's right foot. That was Itachi's blood, he realized, and his shaken mind focused on that to the exclusion of all else. Naruto had drawn blood. Naruto had attacked Itachi seriously enough to draw blood. Itachi was going to kill him for that, if he hadn't already.

He was moving before he fully realized his own intention, energy flowing down to crackle along his left arm. He whistled a split second before that arm burrowed into Itachi's bloody side. The energy barrier forced Itachi and Naruto apart, Itachi's arm flung up with the singed fingers still curled but no longer closed tightly around Naruto's neck. Itachi stumbled back a step, pulling Sasuke along with him. Sasuke could feel air touching his damp fingers and didn't hesitate, didn't even think, as he ripped his crackling arm up and back, severing his spine. Itachi's head turned and Sasuke, who knew better than to look any higher than his mouth, saw his lips pull into a smirk. The body exploded into a flurry of black birds. He never saw the foot that shot out of that cloud of beating wings. He certainly felt it, though. His back struck the shield he had made and a small gush of blood filled his mouth. He gulped it back down. So much for putting everything into an attack and saving nothing for defense.

The birds cleared, fading into the dusty air like a mirage, and any annoyance Sasuke had about Kakashi's bad advice was replaced by growing horror. Itachi was smiling. No, he was grinning. And then his mouth opened in laughter and Sasuke wanted nothing more than to clamp his hands over his ears and curl into a tiny ball. He wasn't aware of clawing his way backwards and up until he was crouched on top of the energy shield like a frightened cat trying to escape a rabid dog. An emotionless Itachi was frightening. A laughing Itachi was absolutely terrifying.

"Oh, little brother," Itachi breathed. "I could almost forgive you." Another lash of laughter tore from his mouth before his lips settled into a wide, but far more contained, smile. "You have left him trapped in his own mind. With the demon in full control it's only a matter of time before it destroys that body and the boy's soul along with it. And I have you to thank! If only you had done it intentionally..."

Sasuke had dropped his eyes to Naruto, who was crumpled within the shield. He was breathing, didn't appear physically injured, but his energy was wrong, more red than orange. As he looked down at him the last of that orange was swallowed up by a thick bloody red. He had seen Kyuubi take control before. His energy had never looked like that. This energy was more fluid than fiery, seeming to bubble right out of the pores in Naruto's skin. Then there was a flash of motion out of the corner of his eye and he had no more time to worry about Naruto and Kyuubi. His head snapped to the side and his own sword ghosted through his hair to embed itself in the wall behind him. Had he been thinking clearly he might have wondered why the weapon hadn't been on him when he had awakened. It wasn't like Itachi to bother disarming him.

"Come down from there, little brother." There was no expression on Itachi's face now, though his voice was velvet with amusement. "You know better than to attack me. Don't make this any worse than it has to be."

Sasuke jumped back, snatching up the sword and recognizing it for the lure it was when Itachi was waiting for him there. He blocked, shielding just enough so that the floor he was thrown into took more damage from the impact than he did. Itachi was on him before he could recover and he sent a fireball into the air between them. For a moment the fire swelled, crackling in the dusty air, and then, impossibly, it was sucked inward to vanish between Itachi's pursed lips. That was when Sasuke realized that Itachi was using his talents, that he had been using them since he had first attacked him, and that he had no hope whatsoever of walking away from this. Fear arched sharply along his spine to clench in the pit of his stomach. He buried it in icy resolve to at least make Itachi bleed before it was over. Naruto had done that much and he refused to disappoint him by going down without leaving his own mark.

.-.

For Naruto, it was as if a movie screen had been set up outside the bars of his cage. Kyuubi had gone so close to the front that his thoughts were as distant as the sounds coming from that screen. He hated being cut off like this, both from Kyuubi and from what was happening outside them. It was Sasuke, and if they couldn't help they should at least be able to feel for him together. Instead he was alone in the cage, tense with fear and pride as he watched Sasuke fight, and wondering if Kyuubi felt the same way he did. The brothers were a blur of motion even to Kyuubi's eyes, their dark clothes standing out against the pale walls and dirty floor of the room. Each time they clashed, pausing long enough to come into clear focus, he looked for injuries because that was what the screen looked for, what Kyuubi looked for. That told him Kyuubi shared his concern, whether he was as impressed as he was or not.

Sasuke was faster than either of them had realized. It was insulting to think he had held back that much against them. Naruto chose to believe he hadn't, that it was Itachi who was forcing him to be so much faster, because for all his speed he had barely made a mark on the bastard. There was a thin cut on Itachi's cheek, so close to those awful eyes of his yet not nearly close enough. Another cut bled lightly down the man's left shoulder, but even that didn't compare to the scratches he and Kyuubi had made. Naruto couldn't help making that comparison because Kyuubi's attention, and thus the screen he was watching, kept going back to those claw marks as if seeking proof that Itachi could be dealt serious injury, as if demanding why Sasuke wasn't dealing equal damage. There was no comparison in Naruto's mind because Itachi had let them make that scratch in order to catch their eyes. Itachi didn't seem interested in catching Sasuke's eyes. All he seemed to want was to drag this out, taking Sasuke down bit by bit.

Kyuubi realized what was happening long before Naruto did. Had they been together he would have hidden his thoughts for Naruto's sake. The bastard was playing with Sasuke, leaving himself open to attack just to see what Sasuke would do. Testing his strength? Or letting him believe he stood a chance against him when he clearly didn't? Kyuubi suspected it was both. The few blows Sasuke had dealt him were hard earned and met with vicious retaliation. That small cut on Itachi's face had gotten his ribs broken. Kyuubi didn't need to see the blood on his lips or the stilted way he was breathing to know the damage was extensive. That shallow cut on Itachi's arm had ruined his right hand. Sasuke had the sword in his left hand now, and Kyuubi couldn't fathom why he kept going back in for more. If he did deal him serious damage the bastard might very well kill him. Kyuubi was beginning to suspect that was the entire point, that Sasuke expected, possibly even wanted Itachi to kill him, and was ignoring his pain and throwing himself back into danger just to see how long it would take. That selfish recklessness was infuriating because Sasuke wouldn't be indulging in it if they hadn't failed to kill the bastard when they'd had the chance.

Sasuke's back struck the shield and instead of immediately rebounding off it he leaned heavily against it. The ragged dragging sound of his breathing forced Kyuubi forward that last step until he was looking at him with his own eyes. The scent of his blood, thick with cloying fear, had him rising into a crouch before he even registered the pain. His entire body, Naruto's body, was in pain. He looked down and was shocked to see that the skin of his hands was scalded red, his energy bubbling out and around it like boiling water. Or blood? Then Sasuke choked and his eyes flew back up, narrowing with fury. Itachi had him pinned against the shield. Kyuubi didn't think to avoid looking at the man's eyes, but it didn't matter. Itachi's full attention was on Sasuke. Kyuubi wanted nothing more than to eat the bastard, and unlike the others he had chewed up all those years ago, he would swallow this one just for the pleasure of shitting him out.

"You can't make me kill you," Itachi was saying, his voice a sickly intimate murmur. "You can't make me do anything. Haven't you learned that by now? You're too weak, little brother. You would have to use the eyes I gave you to invade my mind, to join me in here, and you're far too afraid of what you might see. You're a coward, little brother. Run away now, like you always do, and I won't hurt you any more today. I promise I will let you escape. All you have to do is remove this shield first."

That black and red gaze flicked down, and Kyuubi belatedly snapped his eyes closed. For a second he cursed himself, thinking it was too late. Then he thought of what Itachi had just said and wondered. His eyes flashed back open and met Itachi's gaze with shock. Was that why the bastard had drawn the fight out? The shield didn't just protect them physically, it blocked energy. Itachi couldn't do whatever it was he did without making contact with his energy. He had been cowering for nothing. Baring his teeth, he shot to his feet. The hot pain in his body was nothing compared to his fury at having been made to look like a fool by this man.

"Tell him to free you," Itachi said to Kyuubi. "Your energy is going to fill that cage and when it does it will consume both you and your host." He clenched his hand around Sasuke's neck, glaring when Sasuke's eyes remained tightly closed. "You're killing them both, little brother. Were it intentional, I would accept that. But you're doing it in a vain attempt to save them. After all these years you have learned nothing. You can't save the dead. You're still dragging your weakness around with you for all the world to see. Let it go. Killing them will break you and I refuse to piece you together again for such an unworthy cause. Let go, little brother, or I will sever that bond myself."

Kyuubi lunged tight against the inside of the shield. He clawed at it with his nails and that thickly heated energy. His teeth gnashed and had Naruto been with him he would have cursed the bastard, would have demanded an explanation. But Naruto wasn't with him and he was nearly mindless with fury so all that came out was a snarl. Itachi drew Sasuke away from the shield and flung him back against that moldy wall. He followed in a flash to crouch in front of him, and Kyuubi knew he had caught his eyes because Sasuke let out a choked cry, a whimper, really. Then he began to scream. Kyuubi's last rational thought was to get rid of the screen connecting Naruto to this, because Naruto would cry if he heard this and he couldn't stand to have them both cry. Then he gave himself over to outrage and fury, the only things strong enough to keep his own pain at bay.

.-.

Sasuke peeked out of his bedroom when he heard the knock on the door. They rarely had visitors, and never this late at night. He heard his name spoken in a familiar voice and leaned out further into the hall in an attempt to see who it was. He knew that voice. Then he saw his mother rushing toward him and winced back into his dark room. It was past his bedtime. He opened his mouth to apologize, but she grabbed him up and ran with him into her own room. He wasn't allowed in her room. That was his father's room, too, and he wasn't allowed to even touch the door, which was always kept closed. She closed the door behind them and locked it. There was just enough light in the room for Sasuke to see the bolt she snapped into place. It was even bigger than the one on the door to the apartment. Then he was being crammed into a closet, his mother joining him and pulling the door closed behind them, and he couldn't see anything at all. He started to ask what was wrong, and her hand clamped over his mouth.

"Quiet," she whispered, and he had never heard her voice sound like that. "It will be over soon." She gave a shaky breath and he wondered suddenly if she was crying. She never cried. Even he wasn't allowed to cry. Crying was for babies who didn't know any better.

There was a clicking sound, then a rattle. Someone was at the bedroom door. His mother made a horrible sound and his confusion gave way to sudden fear. Her hand moved so high on his face that it covered his nose. He squirmed, trying to tell her he couldn't breathe like that. The hand tightened until he couldn't help pushing and kicking at her hard enough to hurt. Then the hand was gone, finally, and he took a quick breath. He would have apologized for kicking her, but something wrapped around his neck and squeezed so hard all that came out of him was a weird squeak. It hurt so badly he felt tears in his eyes. Now he was crying like a baby, but he couldn't help it because he couldn't breathe and it hurt. He didn't understand. He hadn't kicked her that hard, had he? He wouldn't have kicked her at all if she hadn't covered his nose. He had been keeping quiet, just like she wanted.

He heard a loud crash, like something breaking or falling. Something wooden and heavy. His mother started screaming and didn't stop. Her screams were loud, angry and frightened, and he wished she would stop. Weren't they supposed to be quiet? His flailing hands had found her face. He wanted to cover her mouth, just like she had with him, but was suddenly terrified she would bite if he did, that her mouth would chomp closed and bite his fingers right off. The closet door was wrenched open and he saw a dark figure in the faint light. He thought it was his father, that he would make her stop screaming and let go of his neck so he could apologize and explain that he hadn't meant to kick her so hard. But as familiar as that voice was, it wasn't his father's.

"You selfish, stupid woman. Now I'll have to kill everyone in the building."

Sasuke saw a pale hand reach down to catch his mother's dark hair. Her head was pulled back and then a red mouth opened up in her neck and spewed sticky salty red into his mouth and eyes. She stopped screaming. If he had been able to breathe he would have screamed for her. His hands flew up to scrub his burning eyes. His throat was free, open enough for him to cough and vomit. He got the vomit all over himself because he was being dragged out of the closet. Then he was dropped and his head hit the side of the cold bathtub hard enough to make him cry. Except he was already crying. Now that his throat was open he was sobbing so hard he gagged around it.

"Stop it," said that familiar voice.

He couldn't stop. He drew his knees up and muffled the gags against them. The light flicked on and his bleary eyes rose and widened. It was his big brother. He looked much taller now, and he had red all over him. Blood. Sasuke looked down at the red on his own hands and finally understood why his mother had stopped screaming. He shuddered, curling forward in the tub and gagging harder than ever.

"Stop it, Sasuke," his big brother said, in that carefully quiet voice he had tried so hard to copy. The shower turned on, spraying him with cold water. "Stay here until I come back for you."

Sasuke stayed until there was no more red, no more blood, on his hands. He wanted to stay there until his big brother came back for him, but he was afraid to. His big brother had red, had blood, all over him. He needed to know for sure why his mother had stopped screaming, why his father had let Itachi stop her when he was the one who hated noise. He climbed out of the tub only to fall on his face. He was cold and wet, shaking too much for his feet to work. He was still crying, dripping with shame and dread as he crawled into the bedroom. Then he saw her. His mother's head was lying by her feet. At first she just stared at him with her mouth wide open but silent. Then she screamed at him, condemning him for crying and crawling around like a baby when he should have been getting as far away as he could before the monster who had killed her came back. He shot to his feet and bolted out of the room with his hands clamped tightly over his ears. He couldn't muffle her screams. They closed over him so loud and piercing that he ran blindly down the hall all the way to the livingroom.

He tripped over his father. The carpet burned his cheek. He had bitten his tongue so hard his mouth filled with salty blood again. It didn't matter. His father's eyes were gone. His father looked at him, just as disappointed in him and angry with him as his mother was, but his eyes were gone. They were sunken red and black holes in his face. Sasuke stared at them, unable to look away, until he saw his own hand moving toward them as if it wanted to see how deeply his fingers would sink into those gaping holes. Then his mother was screaming at him again and he scrambled backwards, crawling like a crab toward the open door. He turned when he reached the hall, got to his feet, and fell over another body.

For a long time he lay where he had fallen. The air was bad, burning his mouth and throat. He gulped it down anyway. His mother's screams beat at him, urging him to move but holding him down so heavily he couldn't move at all. He didn't pay any attention to the fluttering by his ankle at first. Eventually his mother grew quiet enough for him to hear the whimpers, to realize something, someone, was touching him. He flinched, lurching up and away until his back was tight against the hallway wall. The body he had fallen over was still there, but he saw now that it wasn't alone. There was another one beneath it, a small one with a little white arm and fingers stretched out in his direction. Those fingers curled on the hallway carpet and the whimpering thickened. Unlike him, he had the right to cry. He really was a baby.

Sasuke forced himself to move, to crawl forward close enough for that little hand to curl tight around his own. He pulled on the hand, hard enough to make the little boy cry in pain. He kicked at the body, pushing with his left hand. He wanted to let go so he could push the body with both hands, but that little hand wouldn't let go of his own. He knelt, coughing at the bad air, and bent down to grab that small wrist with his left hand. He pulled as hard as he could and the muffled crying rose into shrieks that beat at him until all he wanted was to let go, to run away and never look back.

"What are you doing, Sasuke?"

He choked at the sound of that familiar voice. Hope lurched into his chest that his big brother had come. That hope tightened and bled into horror that the monster his big brother had become had returned. His mother was going to start screaming again. He wondered if he would be able to hear her over the childish shrieks that were tearing his ears. He kicked out, pushing himself as far away as he could get with that impossibly strong hand holding tight to his own. His brother stepped forward, the smoke in the air turning his face gray. His eyes were wrong. There was even more red on him now, covering his clothes and splattering his face. Somehow his eyes looked just as red as the blood. The child screamed louder and Sasuke pulled desperately against the hand gripping his own. He couldn't help him now. He couldn't help anyone.

"You can't help him, Sasuke," his brother said, as if reading his mind. "You can't help the dead. That is nothing but a bag of flesh, an empty shell. Let go of it. Let go of your sympathy, whatever pity or compassion is holding you. Those emotions are weakness. You will never survive unless you let them go."

He wanted to let go. He already had. It was the hand that wouldn't let go of him. He wished it would. If the boy let go of him, maybe he would stop screaming, too. He would give anything to make the screaming stop. He would kill him himself if only it would make the screaming stop. Something bright flashed through the smokey air and Sasuke reeled backwards. Free? Was he free? No. He lifted his arm and stared in horror at the little hand. It was no longer attached to the arm, but it was firmly attached to him. For a brief moment the screaming stopped. Then it was back, sharper than ever before.

"Stop it, Sasuke. Shut up."

He wasn't the one doing it. A hand clamped over his mouth and he sobbed against it when the screams continued. It wasn't him. It was the boy, the baby, possibly his mother as well. They were screaming at him and they would never stop. Through his tears he stared at his brother's eyes as they drew closer. Those eyes were red and black, reminding him of the holes in his father's face.

"Sleep, Sasuke. Go to sleep, little brother."

His eyes closed and he wished they hadn't. Now he was alone in the dark with those screams. They followed him down. He had known they would. They blamed him for not saving them. Their screams would never stop.

.-.

Gaara was disturbed by what he was seeing. At first he had been disappointed, even bored, because Itachi hadn't done anything to his brother except look at him, and when he had let go, Sasuke, who Gaara had been viewing as a challenging opponent, had slumped down like a puppet with its strings cut. Naruto had sparked his interest for a moment, until Itachi had caught and stared at him, too. Gaara couldn't hear anything he said, but he had no interest in, no respect for, someone who did nothing but talk to and stare at his adversaries. Then Sasuke had woken up and spurred Itachi into action, finally, and Gaara's attention had been held so strongly even Kisame had noticed his distraction. He split his attention more firmly since he didn't want anyone, an opponent like Kisame least of all, to think he could be worn out that quickly. When he looked back through the window Itachi was once again staring at his brother, and Naruto appeared to be drowning in a blood filled bubble.

He couldn't understand a fight like this. Was it even a fight? Itachi had looked at him with those eyes and he hadn't felt anything beyond curiosity. The man had stared at him for just a moment and told him it was too late, that there was no demon in him that could be extracted. Gaara had believed him. Now he wondered if Itachi had truly looked at him at all. Clearly the man fought with those eyes, a mental attack of some sort that left his opponents devastated and broken. Gaara hadn't experienced an attack. Had Itachi not viewed him as enough of a threat to use those eyes on him? Or had Itachi been afraid using them might trigger a change and get him eaten? If Itachi was afraid of him, that made him useless. He didn't like seeing someone useless ruin two people who were capable of a good fight. Sasuke might be able to throw off the mental attacks and stand to fight again, but Naruto appeared to be deteriorating physically. All because Itachi was too cowardly to fight with his body rather than his mind?

Gaara had just made up his mind to kill the useless man when someone burst up out of the floorboards right behind Itachi. He had felt that man beneath the ground during his fight with Sasuke and wondered what he was doing down there. The man stabbed at Itachi with what appeared to be a blade of bone. Itachi whipped around and sliced the bone skewer in half with the sword Sasuke had been wielding. It was enough to make Gaara's stomach clench and bubble with frustration. Was the man useless or not? He obviously could fight, even better than his brother when he was pushed to do so. Yet he resorted to attacking his opponents' helpless minds. Itachi was no different from him after he changed, Gaara decided. He didn't thrive off the challenge of a fight. He thrived off the fear and helpless pain of a victim who could do nothing to stop him. He was a monster. Gaara hated monsters.

.-.

Naruto flinched at the crashing sound and cautiously took his hands away from his ears. The screaming had stopped. He slowly uncurled on the floor of the cage. Kyuubi had abandoned him. He had removed the screen, his only connection to his fox, and left him alone with Sasuke's tortured screams. Kyuubi should have stayed with him, should have come back and helped him bear it. Then maybe he wouldn't have ended up curled into a ball and sobbing his heart out. He could have been strong if he hadn't been left alone. He rose on shaky legs and stepped over to bang on the bars of his cage. It was dark out there, cold and metallic. He was back in that dank prison and this time Kyuubi wasn't here to change the surroundings. He banged on the bars and cried out to his fox. He needed to know what was happening. More than that, he needed to know he wasn't alone.

Kyuubi heard him and gratefully retreated from the pain. That molten energy had nearly filled the bubble. He didn't think Naruto's body had any skin left on it. Fear for his own survival had mated with his tortured outrage until he had become a mad thing clawing and biting at the inside of the shield. Naruto's cries were a lifeline. He snatched at it and pulled himself back to sanity.

Naruto was horrified by the sight of him. His fox was no bigger than Akamaru, his sticky wet fur plastered to his skin, his eyes wild and panicked like a hunted beast. His fox looked terrified and Naruto, who had been wondering if he would ever forgive him, dropped to his knees and stuck his hands through the bars. His hands burned and bled, but it didn't matter because he couldn't feel it. He could feel Kyuubi as he stroked his little ears until his breathing settled and his fur dried and rose as thick and healthy as ever. "It's okay, Kyuubi," Naruto heard himself saying. He could believe that now that they were together again. "We can get through anything as long as we're together."

"I think we're dying," Kyuubi admitted. He hadn't planned to tell him. How foolish of him. Naruto had a right to know. If anyone could think his way out of this mess, it was Naruto. "We have to get out of this bubble."

"Show me," said Naruto. "What's happening out there?" Kyuubi turned and Naruto drew one hand back into the cage, leaving the other on his fox's shoulder. Itachi was fighting the Frankenstein mutant. Naruto couldn't bring himself to believe the albino might win, but he hoped he would at least cut the bastard up good before he died. Itachi was using Sasuke's sword, and that was too sickening to even look at. Sasuke was once again slumped against the moldy wall, shattered and small, and it hurt so bad to see him like that. They hadn't done anything to protect him. Now they couldn't do anything to help him, couldn't even get close enough to touch him.

Kyuubi trembled under his hand and Naruto knew it was just as hard for him to see Sasuke like that. The view shifted to the bubble and Naruto's breath caught in his throat. At first it looked like blood, his own body floating and drowning in a ball of blood. But there were tiny bubbles floating up through that thick red. He had seen that before. That was just how he had envisioned his energy that time he had tried to imagine something sharp and ended up with rounded tails instead.

"Can you control that energy?" Naruto asked quickly. "Can you move it? Pull it back or change its shape?"

Kyuubi didn't do that sort of thing. That was what Naruto was good at, controlling and manipulating his energy, experimenting with things. But Kyuubi knew he was the only one who could go forward to try now. "I'd have to leave you alone here."

Naruto looked at their surroundings. It was still dark, but no longer metallic, ominous, and abandoned. His eyes dropped to find Kyuubi watching him, and he smiled suddenly. "We're still in our own head, Kyuubi. Make a clone of yourself. Only make yours so it stays connected to the body you leave here with. Then I can talk to you and see what you do even when you're out front. It will be just like how we usually are." Or close enough so he wouldn't have to be cut off and left alone in this cage.

Maybe Kyuubi should have thought of that himself, but he hadn't and probably never would have. He had Naruto to think of things like that. The clone he made of himself was pointlessly massive, and for a moment he found himself split in half – looking up at his enormous original-sized body while also looking down at his smaller Naruto-sized one. Then he closed the eyes of the smaller one and took the larger one out to where it was painful and noisy.

That unnatural mutant was tearing the place up with what appeared to be bones emanating from his own body. There were craters in the floor, cracks in the walls, even a small portion of the ceiling that appeared to have caved in. Yet as far as Kyuubi could tell Itachi had no more wounds than the scratch they had made and the two cuts Sasuke had left. The area around Sasuke was the only part of the room that hadn't been touched. He didn't know if the mutant was avoiding that area or if Itachi was keeping the fight away from him. It was enough to see that they weren't dragging Sasuke into it. He felt Naruto's hand tighten on his shoulder and turned his attention to the energy surrounding their body like molten sludge. He couldn't pull it back in. It hurt to even try. But he could move it. He could move it far more easily than he had ever expected.

.-.

Itachi had met Kimimaru before. Kimimaru had been little more than a child then, a pale thing the likes of which Orochimaru had always disdained. But he had been quiet, pretty, and eager to please. He had been a willing test subject and Itachi had envied Orochimaru for having found him first. To see him here, fully grown and still alive, was a surprise. Itachi would kill him, of course, but he wanted to see what Orochimaru had made of him first. Kimimaru had fully embraced his own body for the weapon that it was. His little brother had never learned to do that, despite all of the opportunities he had given him. Instead, he had attacked him with a blade, a flimsy piece of metal. Itachi suspected Kimimaru had given the sword to him. He would make sure to return it before letting the man die.

He followed him closely, casually harassing him with the borrowed blade. Orochimaru had marked this one as a child. Perhaps he was watching through his eyes at this very moment. Itachi was tempted to use the mangekyou on him to see if Orochimaru was really in there. He might have done so if he had been willing to risk being distracted yet again. He had been interrupted before he could finish with his little brother. If his brother came out of it on his own then Iruka should be able to piece his mind back together, but there was no telling how much damage he might do to himself in the meantime. Unless Kakashi's sharingan was more advanced than he knew, it would be days before Iruka recovered enough to do his part. Itachi didn't have time to wait for him. There was still the demon to deal with. His brother had created that shield. He would have to see to it that his brother removed it.

"Are you trying to keep me away from him?" asked Kimimaru. He didn't expect an answer. Itachi refused to engage him. He was beneath Itachi's notice, not even worthy of being set against his precious little brother. Kimimaru hated him for that. He hated them both. Itachi, the one Orochimaru had rescued but couldn't hold. Sasuke, the one Orochimaru wanted but couldn't have. They both had what he never would and deserved to die for not valuing it the way they should. He allowed himself to be shoved back into the wall, cracking it further. He fired bone fragments from his fingers and palm, knowing Itachi would dodge and leave them free to cut into the beams in the opposite wall. He wasn't supposed to kill Sasuke. But if the upper floors happened to collapse and crush him out of existence it would hardly be his fault.

"What does Orochimaru intend to accomplish with this?" asked Itachi. "Aside from your death, of course."

"What do you intend?" Kimimaru shot back. They were dancing around the shield now. The bloody energy was swirling so violently the body within was completely obscured. He sent bone skewers at it, leaving Itachi to dodge so they rebounded off the shield to slice into the ceiling. "There's no point extracting the ninetails. You know better. Stronger eyes than yours have tried. He returned to his host. By choice! He's tainted by human emotions. He stays in that weak vessel by choice. Even if you manage to lure him out, you can't stop him from returning to his host."

"I can if his host has no body for him to return to," said Itachi. And to think, he had his little brother to thank for that. If only he had done it on purpose.

"You think Orochimaru hasn't thought of that?"

"He doesn't have the eyes for it," Itachi reminded him. "He never will." He lifted his arm. It was time to return the sword. Along Kimimaru's spine would be a fitting resting place for it. He paused as a crash sounded behind them, the dry cracking of plaster, and then a choked gasp. His arm swept down, slicing Kimimaru from his right shoulder to his left hip. Then he was across the room, confronting the possessed corpse that was holding his little brother in its skeletal arms. "How many times do I have to kill you?"

The corpse grinned, the mark on its decaying skull flaring a bright red before being covered by a creeping flow of pale skin. It tightened the arm it had around Sasuke's neck, forcing out another of those sounds that made Itachi's eyes narrow. Then it had lips and tongue enough to speak. "My dear misguided Itachi. Don't you know by now? You may kill me as many times as you like. I only have to kill you once."

Itachi's upper lip curled as the borrowed body dragged an enlongated tongue over his brother's tear-stained cheek. When this was over he would track down Orochimaru's newest body and mutilate it slowly. "If your aim was to kill me, you would have sent a stronger assassin."

Orochimaru grinned, revealing rotted teeth beneath the facade of unblemished skin. "Why? You are such a hypocrite, Itachi. Always wanting others to shed their weaknesses when you cling more tightly to yours than anyone. This body isn't even alive, yet you can't bear to see it touch him. Why would I need to send my strongest against you? All I need to do," and his canines whitened, growing into glinting fangs, "is threaten to bite him. You would rather die than see me claim him as my own." He wrenched Sasuke's head to the side, baring his neck. "One move and I will mark him. Stand there, Itachi, and let your weakness be the death of you. Just as you always wanted it to be."

.-.

It was impossible to truly focus on two things at once. The energy shield was straining under the pressure. They could feel it threatening to give way. At Naruto's urging, Kyuubi poured more energy out, moving it faster and faster until the shield shuddered around them. They were so close. But Kyuubi's attention was torn. Sasuke was in danger. There were teeth, fangs, less than an inch from his neck. And the undead bastard was threatening to mark him, to claim him as his own. He couldn't focus on creating a whirlpool out of his energy when all of his instincts demanded he throw himself at the side of the shield, to bite and claw at it until it gave way under the force of his rage. Only the feel of Naruto's hand on his shoulder kept him from it. Naruto, who was just as outraged and afraid as he was, somehow still had room for rational thought. So he continued to force his energy out, energy that had no where to go, and trust that the shield would crack in time to prevent their mate from being claimed by another.

The first crack formed just as the white-haired mutant appeared behind Itachi and stabbed him in the back. The bone skewer went through the middle of Itachi's back and continued on right into Sasuke's chest. Time stood still. Kyuubi didn't feel his energy seeping into the crack in the shield, widening it into jagged splinters. He heard the corpse scream in fury, but he didn't care. He saw Itachi slice the skewer impaling him in front and behind, ripping it out of himself. He saw him remove the corpse's head so it hit the floor as hairless and skinless as it had first appeared. He saw him whip around to cut the white-haired mutant from the top of his forehead all the way down to his groin. Kyuubi didn't care. He saw Itachi catch Sasuke's body and pull the skewer out of his chest so he could see right through the bloody hole to the torn wall behind him. He didn't care. It was too late. They were too late. He saw Itachi sink to his knees and bend down to kiss Sasuke's bloody lips and finally he cared again.

The shield shattered and his energy exploded to fill the room as he took his natural form. It was different this time because he was using Naruto's body rather than taking shape outside of it. It was different because he was inside, within a house that had no room for him. The house broke and crumbled around him. His jaws opened and he ducked his head down to snap the brothers up. There was no time to rip Itachi away from Sasuke. So he held them both in his mouth, safe and still on his tongue. His tails churned around him, ripping the upper floors and roof off of his back and head. He wanted to rear up and shake himself free of the ruined house, but he didn't dare risk jarring Sasuke.

Finally the dust settled. He lowered his head and carefully let them out. Itachi was still holding him, still kissing those lips that belonged only to him and Naruto. Kyuubi snarled and ripped him free with his claws, flinging him aside so his body vanished into the rubble. Naruto was crying, reaching through the bars with both hands curled tight in his fur. Kyuubi wished he would stop. His crying hurt and it wasn't helping. He curled around Sasuke, making a cocoon out of his tails, and licked him as gently as he could. Sasuke was still breathing. All they had to do was make sure he didn't stop. If only Naruto were free he could pour his energy into him. Naruto's energy wouldn't have hurt him the way Kyuubi's did. Naruto's hands were warmly buried in his fur. Kyuubi turned his head so his cheek was pressed along Sasuke's battered body. He was much too cold. They could at least warm him up a little. That was what Naruto had first wanted, after all. Just to warm him up a little.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Kisame reacted before the house collapsed and the earth shook. He reacted the moment that shield around Naruto cracked. His head snapped around and he said, "Gotta go, kid," before setting off at a run.

Gaara followed him more slowly. That wasn't by choice. Physically, he had never been fast or strong. He had never needed to be. Until Shikamaru, no one had been able to touch him without his sand acting as an automatic defense. With Itachi and his brother he now knew of three people who could do so. Perhaps he should consider exercising. A quick smile flitted behind his mask as he broke into a loping jog. Unlike Kisame, he didn't need to reach the house quickly in order to know what was happening there. He watched through his eye as the creature Naruto had become evaporated in a haze of heat. He intended to find out more about that creature, that fox the size of a house. Few people had seen him change and survived to tell about it. He knew from those accounts that his own size rivaled that fox. If the fox's strength equaled its size he might not have to worry about changing. There was someone here too large for even him to eat.

His eye scanned the rubble, watching for Itachi. He had made up his mind about him. Given a chance, he would kill him. He might even be doing the world a favor. Monsters were meant to be killed. As a monster himself, he knew that better than anyone. Movement caught his eye. There he was, slowly pushing himself free from a pile of lumber that should have been too heavy for him to lift. Another flicker of movement had his eye turning back to the unconscious boys. Someone who looked like Kisame was crouching over them. It couldn't be the real Kisame. He wasn't fast enough to have gotten there already. Even if he had, Gaara suspected he would have gone to Itachi first, not to the boys. The impostor reached out to lay a hand on each boy and the three of them vanished in a swirl of black.

Gaara forced his tired legs to move faster. Shikamaru was gone. He should be on the other side of the world now, sneaking into places he had no business being. Unless his energy was used up, he was nearly as untouchable as Gaara himself. Yet that was definitely his talent. That the impostor had used Shikamaru's talent was more disturbing than the fact that he had taken the boys. They had appeared half dead, anyway. There wasn't much more a person could do to them. At least this way they were out of reach of Itachi and his mental torture. His eye went back to the man in question, showing that he had finished freeing himself. His face was ashen from the bloodloss as he sat with a hand over the bloody wound on his middle, his head turned to stare over at the place where the boys had lain. Gaara wondered if he had seen the impostor who had taken them. He wanted to know who that man was.

Despite having set off first, Kisame didn't arrive that much ahead of Gaara. Running wasn't his thing. Sure, he had the stamina for it. He was just too heavy to flit around like Itachi did. Since he preferred to stand his ground and throw his weight around, he didn't mind being the counter to his light-weight partner. It was a nuisance, though, in situations like this. By the time he got within sight of the house there was no house. From the blank look on Itachi's face, there was no fox or Sasuke, either. Kisame was already grimacing when he started the clumsy climb over the rubble to the perched Uchiha.

"I missed everything?" asked Kisame.

"Did you enjoy yourself with Gaara?" Itachi asked politely.

Kisame's grimace pulled tighter. "I like that kid."

"Then I will do my best to avoid having to kill him."

"Thanks," Kisame huffed. He plopped down beside him and looked over at the flattened area holding Itachi's attention. "Did you get the fox?"

"My little brother got the fox."

Kisame gaped at him. "Really? How the hell did he manage that?"

Itachi dropped his eyes, his lips pulling into a distasteful frown. "He appears to have seduced him." He turned a glare on Kisame when the man burst into laughter. "There is nothing amusing about this."

"You're just jealous," Kisame scoffed. Then he cringed. "Of your brother, I mean! Not the other way around." He didn't relax until Itachi stopped looking at him like he wanted to rip his tongue out through his nostrils. He had seen him do that and it wasn't pleasant. "He had to grow up sometime," he offered. "At least he picked a good one."

"He picked a child," Itachi said blackly. "A mere boy. I will never forgive him for that."

"You never forgive him for anything," Kisame shrugged. A few more disappointments on Sasuke's part wouldn't change much. His eyes dropped to Itachi's bloody hand and then shifted to take in his torn back. He raised an eyebrow at the extent of the damage. "You dying?"

"Orochimaru showed up."

Kisame couldn't imagine how that might have resulted in Itachi being injured. Orochimaru was a meddling nuisance at best. A nuisance with a hard on for Uchihas. And Sasuke had been in the thick of it again. On second thought, Orochimaru's presence did explain a lot. "What about all that energy you got from the dolphin?" Itachi's eyes narrowed, and Kisame grinned suddenly. "You gave it to your brother," he accused. "You fucking softie."

"I have invested too much of my time to let him die simply because one of Orochimaru's underlings bears a grudge against me."

Kisame wiped the grin off his face before Itachi was moved to remove it permanently. "That brother of yours is going to be the death of you one of these days."

"He owes me that much."

"And I owe you for not sticking around to help out," said Kisame. "I got a shit-ton of energy from Gaara. I swear, that kid's a bottomless pit. We should keep him."

"I gave him to my little brother," Itachi reminded him firmly.

"That was before you knew he had the fox in his pocket. Doesn't seem fair for him to get them both."

"Jealousy doesn't become you," said Itachi. "It is a petty useless emotion."

Not that Itachi would know anything about that emotion. Kisame pressed his lips together to keep from grinning. Sasuke had seduced the ninetails? Itachi had expected to lure the demon out, to destroy his host, who deserved that and more for daring to taint his little brother, and to keep the demon all for himself. Instead, the demon had chosen Sasuke? No one ever chose Sasuke. They grudgingly accepted him as the closest they could get to Itachi, and even then he was a poor substitute. Had the kid gone and grown a personality in the last two years? Hard to imagine that. Even harder to imagine was Sasuke having enough sex appeal to lure in a demon. Yet the demon had chosen the little brother over Itachi himself? Itachi would never live that down. If Orochimaru really had shown up, then word would spread like wildfire that Itachi had tried and failed to tame the ninetails. Once they found out why he had failed, well, Kisame foresaw a lot of slaughter in their immediate future.

"What about the dolphin?" asked Kisame. That had been their first reason for coming. The photos hadn't shown up until later, catching them en route and complicating what should have been a quick check-up visit. Tracking that photographer down was yet another thing on their to-do list.

"He is quite functional for someone with such an inherent flaw," Itachi allowed. "He may choose to ignore the possibilities I have created for him. I suppose I'll have to keep in touch to ensure that he does his part. The babysitter may prove useful in that."

Really? Kisame hadn't gotten a very good look at Kakashi. It still boggled his mind that Itachi had allowed a non-Uchiha to run around with a working sharingan. But he guessed no one else would have been capable of babysitting Itachi's difficult little brother. Kisame suspected even Kabuto couldn't stand him, and Kabuto made it a point to get along with everyone. Openly, at least. He had to wonder what kind of man Kakashi was to have survived Sasuke for so long. "How about the babysitter?" Kisame asked curiously. "Did you fuck him up?"

"I would like to rip that eye out and feed it to him."

Feeding him his own body parts? Kisame couldn't help scowling. He hadn't expected Itachi to like the man that much. It was a hard kick in the teeth. He detested being kicked in the teeth. Itachi knew that, of course. "Are you mad at me for playing with Gaara instead of helping, or what?"

"Not at all," Itachi murmured, his black eyes going back to that flattened area. "I couldn't care less what you choose to do with your time."

Not mad, just annoyed, Kisame decided. He could work with that. Itachi was drained and half dead, after all, while he was brimming with energy and left over adrenaline. He grinned at Itachi's profile and set his sword down on the rubble behind them. "Patch you up?" he offered. "I'm good for it."

That wasn't all Kisame was good for. Itachi's attention drifted over the rubble to where Gaara's eye was floating and watching. The boy had tolerable manners for a mutant, much less a demon. He had been spying all along, discretely and from a polite distance. Now Gaara was making no attempt to hide his surveillance and was, in fact, rudely eyeballing them. Kisame was to blame for that. He had a way of reducing those he fought with to their basest form. The less these two interacted, the better.

Gaara never came any closer than the stone wall surrounding the remains of the house. His eye was destroyed from six yards away by a seemingly casual flick of Itachi's fingers, but not before he had seen enough to stop him in his tracks. It wasn't just his little brother that Itachi liked to kiss. The image stayed with him as he turned on his heel and started the long walk back to Iruka's house. As a monster, Itachi would be a guilt-free kill. As Kisame's partner, obviously in more ways than one, Gaara would have to let him be. It was a shame Kisame was a shark. It might have been interesting to see how two such disproportionate men went about having sex.

.-.

Kyuubi woke to find himself buck naked, being given a sponge bath by none other than Lee. Had he been able to move he would have swatted him hard enough to knock that thick-browed head right off his green-clad shoulders. How dare he take advantage of Naruto's body like that? The damned pervert. It was the vibrations caused by the growling in his throat, and the fact that his hand didn't rise to swat him like he wanted it to, that made him aware of the stinging pain all over him. Even his eyelids hurt. He tried to scowl, but the tug that expression made on his face hurt too much. He let out an angry questioning sound.

"Don't worry, Naruto," Lee said, as he reached down to pat the damp cloth against the stinging line between his eyebrows. "You are already showing great improvement."

"That's not Naruto," said Kiba.

Kyuubi hadn't even noticed him sitting on the edge of the bathtub. He hadn't noticed he was lying on the bathroom floor, either. No wonder his sore ass felt so cold. They could have at least put a towel under him before molesting his body.

"Check the eyes," Kiba told Lee. He wrung out the rag he had just rinsed and exchanged it for Lee's pink one.

"My apologies, Kyuubi-san," Lee said formally.

Kyuubi's lips tried to curl when the boy swiped that wet cloth along his thigh, way too close to parts of his anatomy that shouldn't have been stinging like they were. Baring his teeth hurt too much. He growled as well as he could without moving his mouth. "The hell are you doing?"

Kiba leaned over to catch his eyes, face pulled into a grimace of sympathy. "You had no skin. Seriously. Your back's okay now, mostly, but only 'cause we dunked you in the tub while it was growing back. Cracks and crumbles right off when it dries out. Must be painful as hell."

It was. He still would rather have dealt with the pain than have these two getting an eyeful of him. Especially Lee. It was a wonder the perv wasn't bright red, what with his crush and all. Or maybe it was just a flitting attraction rather than a full out crush. Either way, this was ten shades of wrong, as Iruka liked to say. Kyuubi scowled, not caring how it cracked the newly grown skin on his face. "Why are you two doing this? Iruka could grow skin back in a few minutes." The two boys stared at each other for so long that Kyuubi finally remembered who Iruka had been with the last time he had seen him. "Where is Iruka?"

He reared up and was almost in a sitting position when Lee pushed him back down. Easily. His eyes widened. He had no strength. Worse than that, he had next to no energy. Then he remembered why. He stopped fighting the hands holding his mutilated shoulders down. "Sasuke…"

"He and Iruka are both in their rooms," said Kiba. "The girls are sitting with Iruka in case he needs something when he wakes up."

"Please don't exacerbate your injuries," said Lee. "You are in far worse condition than either of them."

That was impossible. "Sasuke has a fucking hole through his chest!" The two boys stared at each other again, and Kyuubi sent a frantic look into the back of his mind. Naruto was asleep, curled up on the cold floor of the cage. Those bloody chains were still twined tightly through the bars. There was no sign of the clone he had made of himself.

"He doesn't have a hole in him now," Kiba said slowly. He frowned down at him, wondering if his brain were as melted as his body had been. "Kakashi mentioned broken ribs, but there isn't anything we can do about that until Bunchu gets here. Kakashi made everyone promise to leave Sasuke alone. That's all we got out of him before he keeled over."

"He passed out in the hallway," Lee explained helpfully.

"Made a hell of a thump," Kiba agreed. He passed Lee a freshly damp rag, and then asked Kyuubi, "Do you know how he got you two back here? No one saw a glimpse of him until he came downstairs."

"I don't remember seeing him at all," Kyuubi muttered. The last thing he remembered was curling into a warm ball around Sasuke's cold body. Had Kakashi found them like that and brought them back here? Had he saved Sasuke, then? Not likely. Kakashi wasn't a healer. If there was no longer a hole in Sasuke's chest, they must have healed it themselves. That would explain why Naruto was sleeping now. He always slept when Naruto was the one who had used up his energy. Maybe he had managed to heal Sasuke with his own energy after all. Even as he considered it, he knew that explanation didn't work. If his energy had been able to heal the way Naruto's could, he would have healed himself by now.

"What happened to you guys?" asked Kiba. "Where did you go earlier?"

Kyuubi decided his face was healed enough to bare his teeth. "I'm not saying anything else until I get some fucking clothes," he growled. He couldn't believe he was having a conversation with these two completely naked. Even Sasuke hadn't seen them completely naked. Naruto was never going to be able to look these two in the eye again. Assuming Kyuubi could get him out of the damned cage so he had a chance to do so.

"Clothing would surely damage your freshly grown skin," Lee protested.

"A likely excuse," Kyuubi snapped. "You can explain that to Naruto when he finds out you stripped him down and molested his naked body. Fucking pervert." Lee blushed bright red and sputtered out an incoherent denial.

Kiba snorted. "Big difference between being naked and skinless. Even the girls were too freaked out by the blood to notice you didn't have any clothes. If it weren't for the hair, we wouldn't have even recognized you."

Kyuubi supposed his clothing might have burned up along with his skin. If not, it certainly would have been shredded when he changed sizes. That still didn't excuse Lee rubbing his hands, separated by a wet cloth or not, all over Naruto's body. Naked and skinless was still naked. He growled at Lee, whose red face betrayed his guilt in Kyuubi's eyes. "Clothes. Now."

The boy sputtered just a little bit more and then jumped to do his bidding. Kyuubi decided he might salvage some pride out of this debacle yet.

.-.

Ino sighed for the fourth time in as many minutes. She squirmed in the hard chair Sakura had dragged up and placed at Iruka's bedside opposite her own. Finally she burst. "This is pointless!"

"You don't have to stay," Sakura reminded her calmly. She didn't take her eyes off Iruka. If she hadn't seen Tenka shake him so roughly she had wanted to intervene she would have believed he was merely sleeping. There didn't appear to be anything physically wrong with him. He just wasn't waking up.

Ino glared at her. "Just because you fancy yourself a nurse doesn't mean you are one. You can't even touch him until Bunchu gets here because with your talents you'd probably kill him. My talents, on the other hand, might be just what he needs."

Sakura sighed. Ino never knew when to give up. "We don't even know what's wrong with him. After what happened with me, you should know better than to go hopping into people's heads when you have no idea what might be waiting for you in there."

"Why not?" Ino scoffed. "He certainly didn't know what was waiting in your head when he hopped into it. His mind can't possibly be any worse than yours."

"Maybe not. But if you get stuck in there he won't be able to lead you out this time. He'll be stuck in there right along with you." Sakura raised an eyebrow when Ino grimaced. "Are you willing to risk having people like Kakashi flirt with you for the rest of your life? Your life as a middle-aged man…?"

Ino would have cringed if she wasn't determined not to let Sakura know how horrible that prospect was for her. She lifted her chin instead. "I still fail to see the point of waiting for Bunchu. He couldn't help us. What makes you think he can help Iruka? Whatever is wrong with him is obviously mental, not physical."

"We don't know that. Bunchu will be able to tell us for certain." She was counting on that. She was also impatient for him to control her talent well enough for her to help with Naruto. Kiba and Lee had rushed him into the bathroom, but not before she had seen far more than she had wanted to. The sticky red faceless body could have belonged to anyone if not for that bloody blonde hair. Just the thought of it made her sick to her stomach. She had been convinced he was already dead. If Ino hadn't jumped to hold her back she would have tried to save him…and likely killed him herself. Knowing she could only make things worse didn't stop her from wanting to bolt downstairs and try anyway. She wanted to at least be doing something to help. That was why she was determined to stay right here, holding vigil over Iruka until Bunchu arrived. Maybe it was pointless, but it was better than making things worse.

"I'm going to do it," Ino announced. She leaned forward over the bed. A long minute later she shot a glare at Sakura, who hadn't even looked up. "Well?" she demanded. "Aren't you going to stop me?"

Sakura shifted irritably in her chair. It was hard enough quelling her own impatience without having to deal with Ino's as well. She lifted her head to scowl back at her. "I don't have to stop you because you're not going to do anything. Neither of us is going to do anything that might make things worse. If you can't wait quietly up here, then go keep Hinata company. She's probably hiding in our room to avoid Neji."

"If I go down there, I'll drag her out of that room and make her deal with that insufferable cousin of hers." Ino scowled when Sakura made no move to prevent her from carrying out that threat, either. Enough was enough. "I'm doing it," she warned her. "Unlike you, I'm not particularly worried about making things worse." Kakashi and Iruka were out of it. Sasuke was battered and out of it. Naruto was a mutilated humanoid out of it lump. How much worse could things get short of one of them dying? And, anyway, it was Sakura's fault for being too caught up in her own head to stop her.

Sakura gave a little jump and rose halfway out of her chair when Ino slumped over the side of the bed. Her first reaction was guilt, because she had practically dared Ino to prove her wrong, hadn't she? Iruka's eyes opened, bloodshot and glazed, but focusing on her easily enough. She glared down at them. "You are an idiot!"

"You're just jealous," Ino scoffed, because it was true. She grimaced at the deep voice she had spoken with, never having been in such an old body before. But a little stretching proved her earlier suspicions. "Aside from a splitting headache, there's nothing physically wrong with him. Nothing that hurts, anyway. Maybe he had to heal someone and wore himself out. That would explain why he's sleeping too deeply to…" Ino trailed off and snapped a wary look over her, or rather Iruka's, shoulder.

"What's wrong?" asked Sakura. Iruka's face paled, something she wouldn't have thought possible with his complexion. "Ino?"

Ino stared blankly at the wall at the head of Iruka's bed. Something was in here with her. There was no visible physical presence like she had encountered in Sakura's mind. She knew if she closed her eyes she wouldn't see anything but darkness. She could hear it, though. There was a faint rustling behind her, like cloth or…whispers? If she closed her eyes and looked back she wouldn't see it. But she would feel it. She would be swept back into the void, just like when she had tried to leave Sakura's mind, she would be lost in it, except this time that void wasn't empty. Something was in there. She could feel it, could hear it drawing closer. Or was she being drawn to it? A whimper caught in her throat and she shoved herself away, out and back until she was in her own body and scrambling away from the bed.

Sakura winced when Iruka's vacated body pitched back onto the bed. Her first concern was for Ino, though. Her face was ashen, and she didn't even seem to realize she had fallen and was crawling backwards across the floor. Sakura rushed over to crouch beside her. "Ino! What is it?"

"Don't touch me," Ino cringed, shoving herself up and away from Sakura. "Just…don't. Don't touch him, either. I was wrong. He's…" Her skin prickled as if bugs were crawling all over her. She scrubbed her hands over her arms, nearly gagging at the sudden nausea clenching in her gut. "There is something very wrong with him. I think I'm going to be sick."

"What did you see?" Sakura demanded.

"Nothing! I didn't want to see it." She didn't want to feel it, either, but it was still on her, all over her. Her stomach lurched into her throat. She really was going to be sick. Sakura was a concerned obstacle between her and the door. Gagging, she shoved her aside and bolted out and down the stairs.

Stunned and gaping, Sakura stared at the empty doorway. Ino had looked on the verge of puking. Ino never puked. Ino considered puking one of the most disgusting things a person could do. Yet Sakura clearly heard her barrel down the stairs and slam the bathroom door open. Then she heard her shriek, slam the door closed again, and run down the hall for the downstairs bathroom. Guilt and sympathy ate at her as she finally snapped into motion and hurried after her. As sick as Ino had looked, the last thing she had needed was another peek at Naruto's mutilated state. If Sakura had been thinking clearly she would have remembered and warned her that the bathroom was currently occupied. She just hoped Ino made it to the other bathroom in time. Calming Ino enough to find out what had happened would be difficult. If she had to help Ino wash vomit out of her clothes calming her might prove impossible.

.-.

Had Naruto been awake, he might have celebrated. Kyuubi suspected he was now cured of his fixation on the blonde bitch. Anyone who screamed and gagged at the sight of his naked body wasn't worth his time. It didn't matter that he had still been covered in thick sticky blood, with weeping patches of thin skin along his front. He had been naked. The important parts of his naked body were fully healed. A real woman would have ogled him at least a little. She certainly wouldn't have gagged. At least Ino's intrusion got rid of Lee and Kiba. Kyuubi had worried that the bushy-browed pervert was going to insist on 'helping' him with his shower. Instead, he had hurried off to make sure Ino was all right, and Kiba had hurried off to hide in his room where any more screaming would be muffled.

Kyuubi locked the door behind them and showered quickly. His scalp was so tender it was a wonder Naruto's hair hadn't fallen out. Despite his best efforts, there was still a hint of red marring the blonde when he finished. He was almost glad Naruto wasn't awake for this. Even he was unnerved to see so much of their blood swirling down the drain.

He was unsteady on his feet when he left the bathroom. It wasn't just the newly grown skin that hurt. The ache was bone deep. Transforming like that had done some serious damage to Naruto's body and he didn't have access to Naruto's energy in order to heal it. All of the discomfort was worth it when he stepped into Sasuke's room and saw him.

Sasuke was far too pale, with blood dried along his mouth and cheek. His chest rose and fell beneath the blanket that had been drawn over him. He was alive. Even from a distance he reeked of Itachi, his own blood, and the dry rotted corpse. But he was still alive. Kyuubi took a slow step into the room and shut the door behind him. Naruto would have rushed to his bedside, would have cuddled and fussed and maybe cried a little. But Naruto was curled in a small limp ball, locked in a cage in his own mind. Kyuubi could see Sasuke breathing. Naruto didn't appear to be doing even that much. He felt as if he had traded one for the other and knew he had never made such a choice. He wouldn't have. He leaned against the door and closed his eyes so he could get a closer look at Naruto.

There was no sign of injury. The hands that had been burned bloody when he stuck them through the bars of the cage were smooth and whole. His complexion was good and the ball he was curled in was loose enough to be a comfortable way to sleep. He just wasn't breathing. Kyuubi stared down at him. Time wasn't standing still. He and Naruto were the ones being still. He stared down through the bars at him without thinking, blinking, moving...or breathing. With a jerk, Kyuubi reared back suddenly, gnashing his teeth and letting out a roar of noise that should have woken Naruto but didn't. Of course Naruto wasn't breathing. He was looking at Naruto's mind, a projection of himself, not his real body. Naruto didn't need to breathe in here any more than he did. Kyuubi slumped down on shaky legs and heaved out a heavy – imaginary and entirely unnecessary, damn it all – breath of air. He wasn't thinking clearly. That Naruto looked healthy and whole proved he was just that. Naruto was wiped out, sleeping too deeply to hear him even if he hadn't been contained within the cage. Kyuubi had slept like that, too. He had seen Naruto's memories of himself, knew very well that he didn't bother to breathe when he slept that deeply. He had forgotten and frightened himself half to death. He would make sure to share that humiliating memory with Naruto later. It was the least he could do.

As soon as his limbs stopped feeling like melted rubber, Kyuubi attacked the chains. He broke teeth and claws on them with focused intent. The pain he felt was real, but the body he used was not. All of this was inside Naruto's mind and he wasn't about to forget that again. He made a cat-sized clone and felt its head melt away as it tried to slip through the bars. That pain was so unnervingly real he ran a tail over his own snout to make sure it was still there. He sent the tip of that tail through the bars and then pulled it back to examine the painfully bloody stump. The chains were doing that, making a barrier of energy around the cage. He had designed that cage himself. Anything trying to get through the bars should have simply vanished out of existence because this was Naruto's mind and from within that cage nothing could exist unless he allowed it to. Kyuubi sat back, fixing his tail with a thought as he considered those chains. If they were made of energy then they could be destroyed with energy. He had none at the moment. Accepting that fact was harder than it should have been. He left a Naruto-sized clone to watch over him and turned back to take control of the body housing them both. With Naruto trapped in his mind, he was now the host. He should have relished the freedom, the sheer irony of that. He didn't.

"Who brought you two back here?"

Kyuubi stiffened painfully, his nostrils flaring with a sharp inhalation that didn't bring a hint of the boy's scent. How long had Gaara been there? Kyuubi hadn't looked any further than Sasuke's bed before rushing into his mind to check on Naruto. Gaara could have been sitting in the open window all along. This was why Naruto was the host, Kyuubi thought furiously, because he couldn't stand being limited to what he saw out of his eyes alone.

"Get out," Kyuubi growled. He stalked across the room. He was far too aware that even the pads of his feet stung with each step. He had seen firsthand the damage Gaara could cause. A fight with him now, when he couldn't even heal the damage he already had, would be suicide. He wanted to attack him anyway for daring to enter Sasuke's room. Had Naruto been awake he would have attacked him, because Naruto would have felt the same way he did. But Naruto wasn't awake. If he got this body killed Naruto would never wake up. He stopped at the foot of Sasuke's bed, placing himself between him and the mutant sitting so casually in his window.

"You aren't healing like you did with me," Gaara noted. "Is that because you transformed? Or is it something Itachi did while he was looking at you?"

"You were there...?" Kyuubi clenched his teeth on the questions burning his tongue. He had no memories of what had happened after curling around Sasuke. Was Itachi dead? He hadn't been able to do anything to the man when he and Naruto had both been free and determined. He wasn't stupid enough to think he stood a chance against him if he showed up now.

"I was watching," said Gaara. "I saw someone take the two of you using Shikamaru's talent. Who was that?"

"I don't remember," Kyuubi snapped. That much was true. If Kakashi really had copied Shikamaru's talent and used it to bring them home, risking an encounter with Itachi and wiping himself out in the process, then Kuubi wouldn't repay him by setting Gaara on him. "What happened after we were taken? Did you see Itachi?"

Gaara stared at the swaying blonde. The voice was different from Naruto's and the eyes were as red as the enormous fox he had transformed into. Was he conversing directly with Naruto's monster? Perhaps they had more in common than he realized and this was what Naruto became when he slept. At least Naruto's monster could speak. He couldn't even do that much when he changed.

"I'm not going to attack either of you," Gaara said quietly. "It would be a waste to fight you as you are now. I prefer a good fight. Both of you are capable of giving me one."

Naruto would have believed him instantly. For once, Kyuubi's instincts were the same. He sat on the edge of the bed, close enough to feel the warmth in Sasuke's blanketed feet. Not cold any more. At least they had managed that much. "What did you see?"

"Everything. I brought you to that house after Sai sealed you." Gaara had expected anger. Naruto, or rather that monster fox side of him, merely frowned. "I couldn't remove the seal he placed on you. Kisame asked me to bring you there, but I would have kept you to fight with myself had I been able to remove that seal." His eyes narrowed. "Itachi removed it with one kick. He's strong for a man who mentally tortures his opponents. I don't approve of that."

Kyuubi snorted. This from a monster who ate people. "So we have you to thank for us waking up there." And Sai, for making a seal Gaara couldn't remove. Had they been caught in a fight with Gaara they might not have gotten to Sasuke in time. His stomach clenched in disgust. In time? In time to do what? They had woken in time to be saved by Sasuke, in time to watch him be tortured and nearly murdered, in time for Naruto to be trapped in his own mind. Yes, they had gotten there in time. In time to witness their own uselessness. Kyuubi's throat tightened into a painful growl, "Is Itachi alive?"

"He was when I left. Did you think you had killed him with one blow?" Gaara felt his interest in the fox wane sharply. "If you wanted him dead, you should have eaten him when you had the chance. A real monster never spits out his prey."

"Unless his prey is wrapped around his mate," Kyuubi sneered. "Not even a demon would eat his own mate." Gaara's eyes widened and flicked past him to Sasuke. Kyuubi rose and blocked his view. "Touch him and die."

Naruto's monster was in no condition to kill anyone. Gaara ignored the threat and looked him over with new eyes. "Can a monster have a mate?"

For an instant, Gaara sounded as curiously clueless as Lee. That was enough for Kyuubi to sit back down. Maybe Naruto was right and this boy was only half monster. "I'm not a monster, just a fox." Maybe a fox demon, but only if Naruto agreed to him taking that designation after the way Itachi had all but ruined it. "Foxes have mates. Sasuke is mine." And Naruto's, though he still occasionally thought of him as a boyfriend rather than a mate. Kyuubi would have to teach him the difference between the two. Boyfriends were temporary. Mates were for life.

"That's what stopped you from eating him?" asked Gaara.

"Of course," Kyuubi snapped. Then he recalled who he was speaking to and changed his answer. "No. I would never eat someone unless they deserved to be eaten. I don't lose control the way you do. But even if I did become a rabid monster, I wouldn't hurt those who belong to me. Naruto, Iruka, and Sasuke. They're mine. I protect what's mine."

"You have sex with all three of them?"

Kyuubi's face pulled painfully. This kid was even worse than Lee. That shouldn't have been possible. "No," he growled in disgust. "Sasuke is my mate, Naruto is my host, and Iruka is my..." He stared at Gaara's blank face and wished Naruto was awake to throw him some ideas. He didn't know what Iruka was. The word lodestone came to mind, but he wasn't sure where he had heard it or what it meant. He scowled at the boy. "Iruka is mine. He's like a father to Naruto and that makes him mine."

"I have no interest in fighting with Iruka," Gaara informed him. "I would rather fight with you than with Naruto. But I will be fighting with Sasuke. He stopped me mid-transformation. No one has ever done that before. I will be fighting with him as soon as he recovers." From the fox's growl, he suspected he would have to fight him in order to get to Sasuke. So long as it was a good fight, he would look forward to that. "In deference to Kisame, I decided not to kill Itachi earlier. If he attempts to ruin either of you worse than he already has, I may change my mind. I'll keep an eye out for him while you recover. Try to be quick about it. There isn't much to do here."

The boy slipped out the window and rose out of sight on what appeared to be a cloud of sand. Kyuubi gaped for a long minute before jumping up to close and lock the window behind him. Then he stood there and wallowed in the despicable truth. Someone sent by Itachi was volunteering to protect them from Itachi. Worse still, they might very well have to rely on that protection for the time being. It was shameful, humbling, even. And infuriating. How could he be so useless he had to rely on a deranged boy to protect him and his own? If only he had kept his head. Planned better. Itachi should never have caught their eyes. He didn't need Naruto's eyes to be open in order to see everything around him. Had he experimented even a little he would have discovered sooner that he could make a mental clone of himself. They could have fought the bastard with their eyes closed. They would never have been separated and Naruto could have added his own clones to the fight. They could have made a difference.

Could, would, should have. Naruto would say they had blown it. Naruto, who had at least tried to plan and use his head, would blame himself. Kyuubi was the one to blame. He had given in to his animal instincts. Barking and lunging like a dumb dog rather than behaving like the cunning fox he was supposed to be. This was his fault. He had grown so used to viewing Naruto as his weakness that he never imagined it might be the other way around. Yet when they were drowning in the bubble it was Naruto who had saved them. The child he resided within was the one who had behaved like an adult while he had regressed to a squalling infant. Humbling, indeed. He would make it up to him. He would start by getting him out of that cage. Sasuke had trapped him in there by placing the shield around them. Sasuke would make that up to Naruto by undoing what his brother had done. Then Kyuubi would do whatever was needed to make his own uselessness up to them both.

He checked him over first. No bandages. Kakashi apparently hadn't done any more than tuck him into the bed before he collapsed. The wound on his chest hadn't healed completely. It was a sunken patch of sticky red right in the center of his sternum. That close to the heart he wouldn't be alive if he hadn't healed internally. His ribs were another matter entirely. If they were broken Kyuubi couldn't risk shaking him. He crouched on the bed and pushed the hair off his face. Sasuke didn't have any injuries there. Naturally. Itachi had given him those eyes and wouldn't have risked damaging them. Kyuubi used the edge of the blanket to wipe the blood off his cheek and then slapped it gently. It felt ridiculous to be softly slapping him awake, something out of those black and white films even Naruto refused to sit through. It wasn't very effective, either.

"Wake up, Sasuke," Kyuubi growled. "The fight is over, but everything is fucked. Kakashi is down. Iruka is-" His breath caught in his throat. He hadn't even checked on Iruka. The girls were with him, though. They would have come looking for him if Iruka's condition had changed. Whatever his condition was... "Itachi did something to Iruka. He's down, too. And Naruto is down, trapped in his own head. I let your brother do that, and you made it worse. Wake up and help me fix it!" He could feel his temper flaring, as if he hadn't learned anything. He had to keep his head, damn it. Naruto wasn't here to keep it for him. But it wasn't just anger he was fighting with, it was something urgent and scurrying with sharp little teeth. He slapped him harder, so hard that his claws caught hold and sliced red lines through his cheek.

Kyuubi froze in horror. Itachi hadn't marked his face. He was worse than Itachi? Naruto was going to see those cuts. How would he explain this to Naruto? Sasuke had nearly been killed and was still seriously injured. Who clawed up his mate when he should have been holding him, simply grateful he was still alive? He looked at the recriminating blood on his claws, at the painful marks he had left, and at Sasuke's wide red and black eyes. Pinwheeling eyes. Kyuubi blinked. At least it had worked, he thought wryly as he was thrown back into his own mind.

.-.

Itachi was a slave-driver. Kisame threw him a resentful scowl as he heaved another chunk of house out of the way. The cocktease was watching him, freshly healed and imperiously perched on his throne of rubble. In retrospect, Kisame should have known he wouldn't be getting any. They were out in the open for one thing. And he had been off goofing around with Gaara instead of watching Itachi's back. It still didn't seem right to get only one kiss in exchange for a mountain of purloined energy. Then again, Itachi's idea of a fair exchange had always been a little warped. Kisame dug deeper until he had to use his blade to bite through some particularly stubborn boards. Even in shambles, this fucking house was evil. He swore he had already chipped some of the teeth of his sword. Those weren't exactly fun to replace.

"A bit to your left," Itachi corrected him. "You're drifting again."

"It's not easy digging straight down through this shit," Kisame muttered. He threw another glare over his shoulder as he shuffled to the left. "Why am I going after a sword? I thought you didn't want him using weapons anyway."

"I don't want him relying on weapons," Itachi corrected him again. There was a difference. He watched as Kisame lifted another pile of lumber and plaster and tangled wires out of the hole. Despite his grumbling, Kisame could always be relied on to put his back into heavy lifting. Itachi supposed he had earned an explanation. "I left the sword near Kimimaru."

"Orochimaru's bone guy?" Kisame huffed. "What's he like these days?"

"Taller," Itachi said succinctly. "Far less eager to please." His eyes dipped pointedly, and Kisame quickly returned to his excavation. "He tried to kill us both. Orochimaru was very displeased."

"I'll bet." Kisame worked a little faster. He should have known there was a good reason Itachi had passed the dolphin's energy along to Sasuke. The only question was why Itachi wasn't in a worse mood. "Did you kill him? The bone guy, I mean."

"Twice. He stayed down the second time. He made no attempt to transform."

Which told Kisame he probably wouldn't find him at the bottom of this rubble. Was he doing all of this work just to confirm Itachi's suspicions? "You really think he'll stick around to take another shot at your brother? With both you and Orochimaru out for his blood?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Itachi murmured. "If I believed him alive under there and having such intentions, I would have burned the entire pile to the ground. I merely wish to ensure that my little brother's sword is returned to him."

A bold faced lie. Or was it? Itachi made it really hard to tell sometimes. Kisame stopped working altogether and turned a serious scowl up at him. "Is there even a sword down there or are you just punishing me for goofing off with Gaara?"

Itachi frowned his disapproval. "Focus on the task at hand, Kisame. And do try to dig faster. There are other tasks I wish to see to today."

Kisame bent back down to work with a grimace. This was definitely punishment.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Hinata was pleased to have discovered a third male who didn't make her feel uncomfortable. She wished she could say the same about his bugs. They were the size of the nail on her pinky finger, with rather shiny gray-blue shells. But they had sharp black pincers as big as their bodies. She sent a nervous look from Shino's palm up to the glasses obscuring his eyes. "Do they bite?"

"Only if I want them to. These aren't natural insects. They're a manifestation of my energy. Would you like me to alter their appearance so they look more harmless?"

"No," Hinata smiled with relief. "The shells are very pretty."

"My mother's look like opals. She's better at this than I am." She would have lectured him severely for what he was about to do. Hinata had only been momentarily forgotten. The others would recall her existence soon enough and they would have nothing in common. Except their desire to help. It was probably wrong to take advantage of her desire just to give in to his own. He curled his fingers lightly over the two jeweled insects. "Are you sure you want to do this? He will recover on his own eventually. His energy isn't low enough to kill him. It's just a coma."

"It's unnecessary," Hinata said firmly. "He brought Naruto-kun home. He shouldn't be left in a coma if he doesn't have to be." He certainly shouldn't have been left with no one to watch over him. A well-meaning stranger was better than no one. She was better than no one. "I want to help."

"To be a part of things." He had entered Kakashi's room for the same reason. Unfortunately there wasn't much he could do with his current energy level so it was just as well that Hinata had gotten here first. He extended his hand and was impressed that she didn't hesitate to cup her own hands. A girl who wasn't skittish of bugs? His mother would be making wedding arrangements if she ever found out they had been in a closed room with only a comatose man as chaperone. He was glad she would never know. "Hold one in each hand."

Hinata winced at the ticklish feel of tiny legs on her palm. She wanted to shake them off or curl her hands to keep them still. Instead she focused on keeping her hands flat and standing as motionless as possible. "Now what do I do?"

Shino smiled at her determined voice. "Nothing. Just hold them. They won't take any more than you can afford to share safely. When they become too heavy to hold comfortably, that means they're full. Then you set them down on him. They'll get a feel for his energy and transform yours so it's compatible."

"You could do this with anyone, then?" Hinata was sure Kiba and Lee would be willing to offer some of their energy as well. Sakura definitely would have if she hadn't been saving her energy to help with Naruto. Maybe even Ino would - no, she doubted even Sakura could convince Ino to touch a bug. "If some of the others shared their energy as well-"

"I doubt anyone else would be willing to do this. Too many people detest and fear insects."

"But if it's to help-"

"I wouldn't expect help from anyone else, save maybe Akamaru."

"You can get energy from a dog?"

"Every living creature has energy. Even plants, though it would take far more insects than I can currently make to gather enough energy from plants to be useful in this situation." He frowned at Kakashi. Hinata wouldn't be able to help him much. A dog could share even less energy than a human could. Adding his own would bring Kakashi into a natural sleep, but it would mean putting himself out of commission without getting any answers as to what had happened to the four of them. He supposed that was the price of being useful. If he were intelligent he would learn from this. Hinata shifted her weight from one stiff leg to the other, and a quick smile crossed his face. "You can sit on the edge of the bed. You won't bother him."

"Oh, no! I couldn't!" Hinata blushed furiously at the very idea. "I'm fine. Really!"

Shino fetched her the chair from the desk and sat on the edge of the bed himself. "It shouldn't be much longer. Set them down as soon as they start feeling heavy." He hadn't thought much of her at first sight. Now he suspected she was hiding a stubborn streak. She would probably try holding them even if it hurt her arms. "If you accidentally drop them, they'll explode."

"What?"

"Not a violent explosion," he assured her. "They're just fragile. They would shatter on the floor and all of the energy you wanted to share would waft away. It would be a horrible waste."

"Yes, it would," Hinata frowned. "I won't drop them." She glimpsed a smile before it was hidden by his high collar. She smiled back. "I've never done anything like this."

"Shared your energy with a mutant?"

"That, too."

.-.

Kyuubi really was a fox. The ears were wrong, like narrow pointed wings extending past his shoulders. Humanoid musculature, particularly in the arms and legs. The weight distribution was better suited for two legs than four. It wasn't as noticeable when Kyuubi ducked lower, closer to eye level, and the tails churned around him. But even the tails were wrong, more serpent than fox. Was he aware of that? Had Kyuubi ever seen a real fox? Someone should have told Naruto a real fox had a pointed snout, straight thin front limbs, open ears, and a bushy tail. Kyuubi really was a fox. But he wasn't a real fox.

Sasuke stared into and through those red eyes, the only aspect aside from the teeth that matched the image he had formed in his own mind. He spoke, his voice sounding sane in the silence. "Did you ever look like that?" Or was it just in his mind? He looked closer at the image taking form there and wondered...whose mind? His or Kyuubi's?

Sasuke's eyes had become a mirror and Kyuubi could see himself reflected there. Raw power, all teeth and fur and tails. Sasuke saw him as he was. But another image ghosted beneath that, wispy and wistful and more familiar than Kyuubi cared to admit. The mane of jagged red hair was his, as were the eyes, the sharp toothy grin, but the ears were wrong, there was only one tail, thicker and shorter than any of his own, and the body was nothing like Naruto's. The only human body he had access to was Naruto's and he doubted Naruto would ever grow to be that tall. He would never look like that. Had he ever? "Maybe in another life." Because that much of what Itachi had said was true. He must have been born with a body of his own. He refused to believe he had sprung into existence the day he had met Naruto. He had come from somewhere and, for whatever reason, been unable to go back.

Kyuubi blinked when Sasuke's right hand dropped to curl in the fur on his left paw. He was clenching that paw, which really was shaped more like a clawed hand than a rounded animal paw. Why had he never seen that? Because Naruto hadn't. Naruto saw him as he was and never looked any deeper than that.

"Naruto," Kyuubi growled, shocked that he could have forgotten even for a moment. "He's trapped in the cage I built. Itachi was in here. He left chains around the cage and I can't get them off."

"Itachi took his eyes," said Sasuke. "I don't know what he did with them."

Fear clenched at the nape of Kyuubi's neck. He had been so reassured to see Sasuke appear in Naruto's mind, visibly uninjured, no screams or tears or crumbling. Naruto would have noticed how blank Sasuke's face was, would have recognized the lack of emotion in Sasuke's quiet voice. Kyuubi didn't know how Naruto would have reacted to this. He went with his own instincts. He caught Sasuke up in his tails and gave him a nice shake. He was relieved when Sasuke's eyes narrowed and that hand clenched tighter around his fur. Anger, not fear.

"Don't do it," Kyuubi growled. "Don't you dare break on me."

"I saw things," Sasuke bit out. Heard things. "I wasn't drugged this time. It came from me." It must have. "I went as crazy as he is." What if he still was? Would the madness consume him the moment he went back into his own mind? Some of it had followed him in here. His grip was so tight Kyuubi's thick fur bit into his palm, yet he could still feel cool little fingers pressing the back of his hand. Had that boy ever moved or had he been yanking on a corpse? Had there even been a boy in that hallway? The dead didn't move. They didn't scream. He couldn't be crazy, too. "One insane Uchiha is more than enough..."

Kyuubi shook him again, so hard that his teeth clicked together. Iruka would have been appalled. Naruto would have been outraged. For Kyuubi, it was the most natural thing in the world. "If you go insane on me I will rip it out of you. Stop wallowing in your own head and look around. You're not in your head now. You're in mine!" Except he wasn't. Sasuke's eyes flashed up at him and suddenly he couldn't move. Sasuke's eyes were different from Itachi's, but they restrained him just the same. There were no chains, nothing he could feel or see save those eyes holding his own. The sheer gall! He wasn't going to be bound by his own mate! He bared his teeth. "If you-"

"This is Naruto's mind," said Sasuke. "I won't invade yours. Yours is back there." Further in. Deeper than he would have ventured even if he had been confident of his own sanity. Naruto had Kyuubi to protect his mind. Kyuubi had no one. How deeply had Itachi penetrated their minds? He didn't want to know. He brushed the loosened tails away from him. His right hand didn't feel empty even though he knew it was. Hallucinations with no hallucinogen. So long as he didn't look at it, he didn't have to acknowledge it. His mind might be ruined but he wasn't in his mind. He was in Naruto's.

"Where is Naruto?" asked Sasuke. "What did Itachi do to him?" Kyuubi gnashed his teeth with a rumbling growl Sasuke could feel beneath his feet. Sasuke's eyes narrowed. He didn't want to know, but he needed to. "What did he do to you, Kyuubi? There are marks. I can see them." They weren't as deep as scars, but they were clearly visible against the red, the ghost of Itachi's energy as if it had lashed all over him.

Whatever paralysis had held Kyuubi vanished the moment Sasuke broke eye contact. Kyuubi sent a quick look back over his own shoulder. He didn't see any marks. "He caught me with chains. The ones he put around the cage are still there. I can't break them. You'll have to do it."

Sasuke swayed when a cage appeared out of the void. He had to remind himself that wasn't impossible because this wasn't real. This wasn't his own mind, it was Naruto's, and Kyuubi dwelled here. This place didn't have to follow the rules of the real world. It was whatever the two of them chose to make of it. Yet he couldn't help worrying about what else might appear out of the dark. Kyuubi stepped forward, now small enough to be at eye level with him, and Sasuke curled his right hand in the fur on his shoulder because that felt real even if it wasn't.

"You really are a fox," Sasuke muttered. That was so wrong. "I would have trouble accepting that even if I weren't questioning my own sanity. A fox. You really are a fox. It's no wonder you're so bad at kissing."

Kyuubi sputtered and would have defended himself furiously if not for the small smile flitting over Sasuke's face. He could tolerate being insulted if it made Sasuke feel better. For now. "I don't get much practice in here," he pointed out. Though that could change if Sasuke could be persuaded to visit again. He might even find a way to take that dream form, since Sasuke seemed to prefer it so much.

Sasuke's step faltered as an old image passed before his eyes. Naruto licking an unconscious Naruto. Only this time it was Kyuubi, who really was a fox, and that made it all the more wrong and bizarre. "You better not be practicing with Naruto."

"Of course not," Kyuubi spat. "That would be disgusting!"

No, Sasuke decided, his mind wasn't to blame for that not making sense. Kyuubi and Naruto were insane all on their own and probably had been long before they had met him. True insanity was not accepting that one's thoughts were insane. He could still recognize sane from insane, so he had to be sane. Didn't he? More sane than the two of them, at any rate. He felt Kyuubi's muscles tense beneath his hand as they reached the cage. Naruto wasn't breathing. Sasuke snapped his eyes closed to keep from staring blankly at the pale hand curled limply near Naruto's head. If Naruto were dead this world would have collapsed. Besides, he didn't want to drag yet another ghost around with him. Not that there was any such thing as ghosts, of course. He knew there wasn't. He knew that.

"He's just sleeping," Kyuubi said quickly. "We don't have to breathe in here. I sleep the same way when we use too much energy. Get the chains off and he'll be fine."

They didn't have to breathe? Then there was no point gasping in hopes of getting enough air to clear his dizzy head. It wasn't a lack of oxygen making him light-headed. He pushed away from Kyuubi. Now wasn't the time to be leaning on a fox the size of a horse and wishing he could sleep wrapped up in those improbable tails. He was getting dizzy because it took energy to be here. He might not be here much longer. If the mind he returned to was as damaged as he feared he might never have another chance to undo what Itachi had done. He reached out and clutched the chains. They were just energy given form. Itachi's energy. Itachi's ghost. This ghost didn't scream, but he heard it all the same. Murmuring to Kyuubi, taunting Naruto's demon, tempting him, in that sickeningly intimate voice as if it wasn't bad enough he had invaded their mind to begin with.

It shouldn't have hurt so much, shouldn't have hurt at all, but it did because Naruto was right. Itachi wasn't just insane. He was a sick fuck. Who else had Itachi offered him to? Had anyone taken him up on that offer? Sasuke didn't want to know because Itachi was also right. His mind would shatter into a million pieces, if it hadn't already done so. He pulled on that energy, drawing in every nauseating drop, and brought his arms down to stare blankly at the struggling crow it had become. The bird had Itachi's eyes. He wanted to crush it into a pulp, but didn't want the bits squirming around in the recesses of Naruto's mind. He couldn't leave it here. He would have to take it with him.

Kyuubi caught Sasuke's arms before the crow was close enough to peck at his face. "What are you doing?"

"Eating it."

"Are you insane?"

A startled laugh tore from Sasuke's throat. The laugh sounded almost normal despite how close to hysterical he felt. That was something. "Sane for the moment," he assured himself. Rational, even. "This is energy. It's Itachi's energy. It can't be destroyed. It has to be absorbed or contained. I'll take it with me."

Like hell he would. Kyuubi pounced, tails yanking Sasuke's arms away so he could snap the bird up himself. He jumped away from Sasuke and spat the bird into his tails, wrapping three around it as tightly as he could without crushing the thing. A flash of his claws severed the tails. The pain was stunning. He was almost blind with the searing feel of it. Naruto's pain had never felt this real, not even when he had been in control of his body. The tails would grow back, just like Naruto's body healed and their energy replenished itself, but the memory of this pain? He feared that would last much longer. No wonder Naruto had so little tolerance for pain. He would probably have to learn to shield now, just so he wouldn't suffer guilt or sympathy each time Naruto was hurt. There would be no more joking about ripping off his tails, either.

By the time Kyuubi had replaced his tails, which looked better but didn't stop them from throbbing horribly, Sasuke had wrapped the severed tails into a tight ball. A tight and wetly matted ball. Kyuubi's nostrils flared. "You're bleeding? What did you do?"

"It's just energy. I don't have a body in here," Sasuke muttered. His body was no more real than Kyuubi's was. Strange how that didn't stop it from hurting. Even stranger that his chest hurt the worst even though it was his hands he had drawn the blood from. He watched as the blood hardened into a casing as sturdy as Itachi's chains. He hoped. He sat back on his heels and closed his eyes. The pain was getting worse. His face hurt as well now. Why was that? "Hide that away where Naruto won't stumble across it," he told Kyuubi quickly. "A cage of its own wouldn't be a bad idea. I'll try to help you get rid of it later." If he had the energy and sanity to do so. Unlike his current body, the pain was real. He was feeling his real body. He was being pulled back to it.

"You're leaving?" Kyuubi whipped his head around and cringed. Sasuke was see-through. So were the bloody scratches dripping down his cheek. He had somehow forgotten about those.

"Not by choice," Sasuke murmured. The screams hadn't stopped in his absence. Had they been screaming all these years? Itachi must have locked them away. Why had he let them out now? He had been so convinced that Itachi wanted him alive and sane. Why had he thought that? Itachi was insane. What would Itachi care if he lost his mind as well? At least Itachi was gone now. For now. Wasn't he?

"Is Itachi gone?" Sasuke asked desperately. "Is it over?" For now? At least for now?

"Yes," Kyuubi said, wishing he felt as confident as he sounded.

"And Naruto will be able to get out of there on his own now. Won't he?"

"Yes. As soon as he recovers enough energy to wake up."

They wouldn't need any more help from him, then. That was something. "Don't wait for him. There's no telling how dangerous I'll be if I've lost my mind. You'll have to kill me. I might not be able to do it myself. You'll have to do it. I refuse to be another-"

Insane Uchiha? Another Itachi? Kyuubi wished Sasuke had lasted long enough to finish that thought. He would have reassured him with complete confidence. Maybe it was just as well that he hadn't gotten a chance to, though. Naruto should be the one to explain why they were familiar enough with crazies to know Sasuke wasn't one of them. Naruto was still hiding the time he had spent in mental institutions. Naruto wouldn't like Kyuubi being the one to tell Sasuke that part of his past. Besides, Naruto had arms to hold him with. All Kyuubi had at the moment were tails, three of which were still pulsing with pain. He snatched the ball of bound energy between his teeth and limped back into the murky edges of Naruto's mind. He buried it in the same place he hid his private thoughts, nightmares, and dreams. Naruto never looked back there. He was swaying on his feet when he finally made it back to the cage. He couldn't make a door to open that cage. Naruto would have to envision one himself when he woke up. Kyuubi should have considered situations like this when he had designed the damn thing. He collapsed just outside the bars, his remaining tails twining around the throbbing replacements. Naruto's body had probably fallen right on top of Sasuke's. He wouldn't be able to move it now. And he still didn't know what Itachi had done to Iruka.

He stared blearily at the boy behind the bars. He felt as if he were the one caged. Were the chains binding him to Naruto ones of his own making? He had turned and gone back to him all those years ago. No one had forced him to do that. Kyuubi snorted softly. He couldn't for the life of him figure out why he had done that. If that was a choice he had made, he had long since forgotten his own reasons. No, he didn't believe he had made that choice. He had gone back because he had to. He knew that. He wasn't gullible enough to let some insane Uchiha convince him otherwise.

A memory niggled in the back of his mind. Or maybe those were the nerve endings from his severed tails. The pain might be making him a little crazy as well. Maybe he should have eaten the damned bird himself.

.-.

There were squabbling children in Kakashi's bedroom. He cracked an eye to take in the unwelcome sight. Correction, there were two squabbling boys, one loud and one quiet, a whining dog, and a slip of a girl cringing and trying to sneak out the door behind them. With a long sigh at this clear evidence Iruka had yet to recover, he sat up in his bed. The girl gasped, turned bright pink, and bolted from the room. The boys, unfortunately for Kakashi, did not.

"I assume there's an explanation for this," Kakashi drawled. "Oddly enough, I'm not interested in hearing it."

Kiba's face reddened at the easy way Kakashi rose from the bed, as cool and capable as if he had merely been taking a nap. That was all the proof he needed to haul off and deck the bug-ridden swine. Akamaru could sing the guy's praises for the rest of their lives and that still wouldn't justify this. Shino lurched back a step but didn't fall. His glasses hadn't even been knocked askew. Damning proof Shino could have used his own energy instead of leeching off Hinata. "How much did you fucking take from her? You-"

Kakashi stepped between them, pushing them apart and turning both toward the door. "Fights are to be done outside. From the last I saw of Naruto, there is enough blood in this house already."

Kiba bristled furiously. "Do you even know what he did to her?"

"I didn't harm her in any way," Shino stated.

"The hell you didn't!"

"Outside," Kakashi ordered. He swung Kiba into the hall before he could pounce the taller boy. He had no idea if Shino was capable of fighting, but he clearly recalled that Kiba was a biter. A tussle between them would definitely involve bloodshed.

"He sucked her dry!" Kiba spat. "And gave her energy to you!"

Kakashi's eyebrows shot up. "I see. I'll have to thank her, then. I don't suppose you could do the same thing for Iruka, could you?" he asked Shino. "Or the other two?" Naruto was probably a priority, unless he had managed to grow some skin while Kakashi was asleep. "How long was I out, anyway?"

"Only for-" Shino jerked back a step, catching Kiba's fist en route this time. He frowned down at him. "If you have that much energy, you shouldn't be wasting it on me. Hinata said she was going home. She shouldn't make the walk alone. Akamaru won't be much help to her if she passes out along the way."

"What?" Kiba yelped. "Damn it! If I don't finish you off, you can bet your ass Naruto will." He should have been able to promise Akamaru's vengeance as well. Damn the guy for turning his own dog against him. That was bullshit and a half.

"So," Kakashi drawled, once Kiba's pounding steps had ceased echoing in the hall. "You drained the only human in this house? For me?" That was incredibly stupid. Downright flattering, in fact.

"No one else was interested in looking after you. She wanted to help someone, and there was no one around to stop us." Until Akamaru had sniffed them out and Kiba had burst onto the scene. By then it was too late. He should have known his insects weren't to blame for the delay. He had never created faulty ones. His very first attempts had been ugly, but even they had functioned perfectly. He really should have guessed. It wasn't unusual for him to be the first to know something. It was unusual for him to stumble so clumsily onto it. He couldn't decide if he should be pleased or irritated.

Kakashi was definitely irritated. How was it that after all the time he had spent in this house the only ones to concern themselves with him were two kids he'd had nothing to do with, one of whom didn't even live here? Under-appreciated didn't begin to cover this. He shook his head in exasperation and stalked across the hall to check Naruto's room. The house was suspiciously quiet considering the chaos that had erupted when he carried the boys downstairs earlier. How much earlier? "How long was I out?" he asked Shino, who was nosily shadowing him. Naruto's room was empty. It was also conspicuously clean. Sasuke's influence, no doubt.

"Less than two hours," said Shino. "Tenka left to fetch Bunchu. He said Bunchu would be able to utilize Sakura's talent to help Naruto. There doesn't seem to be a need for that now, however." He directed this observation to Kakashi's back as the man swept into Sasuke's room to lift an unconscious and visibly uninjured Naruto off Sasuke's chest. Shino had only caught a glimpse of Naruto's previous state. He could almost believe he had imagined that to look at him now.

Between the deep scratches on Sasuke's pasty face and the damage Naruto's weight had undoubtedly done to his broken ribs, Kakashi wasn't feeling magnanimous enough to let him sleep it off here. The sharingan revealed Naruto to be even emptier than Sasuke. He didn't want to know how the two of them had managed that in such a short amount of time. They shouldn't have even awakened on their own. "Put this one in his own bed, first room over." He started to hand Naruto over, but hesitated when Shino's raised arms revealed bandages. He recalled what little he had heard about this one. "You're the one who was taken out early, to a hospital, right? Can you carry him?"

"He isn't that big. My injuries are largely cosmetic at this point." And liable to remain that way whether his energy fully recovered or not. Convenient that he preferred concealing clothing anyway.

Shino must have gotten lost on the way to Naruto's room. By the time he returned Kakashi had fetched his supplies and bandaged Sasuke's face. Naruto had better hope Sakura or Iruka was able to heal that because otherwise it would require stitches. Kakashi doubted Sasuke liked Naruto enough to want matching scars. He looked back at Shino. "Where are the other kids?"

"Sakura and Ino were sitting with Iruka. For some reason they're in the downstairs bathroom now." Shino frowned back into the empty hallway. "Kiba and Lee were supposed to be tending to Naruto." It was strange that no one had come to see why Kiba was making such a commotion.

Naruto obviously hadn't needed as much 'tending to' as Kakashi would have thought. The brat could have used a jailer, though, to keep him out of trouble. Kakashi left the rest of his supplies on Sasuke's desk and waved Shino out of the room. Provided no more blondes flopped on his chest, Sasuke would keep for a while longer. His energy had been just high enough for him to wake violently when Kakashi had placed him in that bed. Now there was no chance of that. Kakashi couldn't help resenting Naruto for that. When he had found them in that rubble Sasuke had been a warmed-over corpse and Naruto had been a bloody monstrosity. Now Sasuke was a chilly corpse and Naruto would be just fine with a bit of energy to jump-start him. With all of the talents Kakashi and Sasuke had copied, they should have had some sort of healing ability between them. Kakashi was left wondering if he had broken his rules for nothing.

He could have gotten lost seeking them out. He could have arrived right in the middle of the fight and gotten himself or one of them killed. He could have arrived a few minutes too early and been crushed by whatever building that rubble had originally been. He could have shown up too drained to bring them back with him. He could have appeared right in front of the shark and been left wishing he had taken on the guise of Itachi instead. So many ways his involvement could have gone badly. In the end he'd had just enough energy to bring them back here and hand them into the care of Iruka's meddling brats before passing out at their feet. As if any of them could have protected the boys had Itachi followed him back here to finish what he had started. Kakashi wasn't a good samaritan. He couldn't think of a single justification for breaking his own rules so completely. He had no choice but to blame it on Iruka. The motherhen had rubbed off on him.

"Still want to make yourself useful?" he asked Shino. It wasn't really a question. "Watch the hall and try to keep anyone from going in or out of their rooms, including Naruto." He wouldn't put it past that fox of his to power him up somehow. He didn't bother telling Shino to send Tenka up to Iruka's room when he got back. Iruka was bound to be the first person Tenka checked on. Iruka was the last person Kakashi checked on because he already knew what he would find. He wasn't looking forward to seeing that again.

.-.

Tenka had crashed the car three blocks from Iruka's house. Kiba, who had been irritated to find Lee already escorting Hinata home, was suddenly glad for his presence. Kiba was pretty damn strong, in his own opinion, but even he couldn't have punched the dash in enough for Tenka to get his legs out. After crying about how it was her fault the paramedics didn't have any 'jaws of life', the bus driver nearly drowned Lee in kisses and did her best to suffocate him in her sagging breasts. Kiba was very happy to be a useless spectator. It didn't hurt that Hinata was leaning more of her weight on his arm than she was on Akamaru's back.

Tenka was still cursing when he was forcibly loaded onto the ambulance. He cursed Iruka for buying such a flimsy car, the bus driver for not getting out of his way when he was in a hurry, and Iruka for jumping into dangerous shit again without even warning him. He would have knocked that nonsense out of his head for sure. Most of all he cursed the damn officers and medics for not believing he had someone waiting who could heal him better than any damn doctor. In between the curses, he gave Lee directions to his house and set him off at a run. He wished he had run himself. He had been stuck in the fucking car for so long he could have been home and back by now even if he had walked the whole way. Had he known that damaging the dash of a car wouldn't make the thing explode he would have cut himself loose to begin with. Damn the old man for not making him memorize his phone number. Parents were supposed to make kids do shit like that. Double damn him for not knowing how to drive, either. Really, this was all Hiko's fault. If his old man had to go and hook up with another man he could have at least picked one who could teach him and his son how to fucking drive a damned car.

"You should go with him," Hinata whispered.

"What," Kiba scoffed, "and reward him for cussing his fool head off?" He should have realized all that yelling and bad language would upset her. He didn't even use language like that around Ino and she barely counted as a girl. Tenka should have his ass kicked for burning Hinata's ears that way. It would serve the dumbass right if Sakura was too worn out to heal him once she was done with the others.

"Come on," he said to Hinata. "Let's get you home before you trip over your own feet." He winced when she ducked her head. "Not that I'm calling you clumsy! Or that I wouldn't be able to carry you if I had to. I carry Akamaru all the time and he must weigh twice what you do. Not that I'm calling you scrawny or anything!" She ducked her head lower, leaning away from him in favor of Akamaru. Kiba bit his tongue miserably. He was missing Lee already.

.-.

Gaara watched the mutant sitting in the backyard while slowly picking bugs off his eyeball. There wasn't much to see now that Naruto and Sasuke were both asleep. He would still have a talk with that bug-user for interfering. His eye had only entered the room in order to see what the boy was planning to do with Naruto. Had he known the boy was just putting him to bed he wouldn't have cared. There was no cause to coat his eye in bugs and throw it out the window that way. Closing the window and curtains was especially rude. He flicked a sand skewer through each bug he picked off, leaving them pinned to the roof. They continued to wriggle. Real bugs wouldn't have. A talk was definitely in order. There were some odd talents in this house. He picked off another bug and wondered about the long-haired boy sitting below him. Was he not concerned like the others, or did he have nothing useful to offer? He would ask him when he ran out of bugs. He didn't have anything better to do.

.-.

"You expect me to extract endogenous DNA from ancient deciduous teeth?"

The contempt in Kabuto's voice would have shamed a lesser man, or at least have irritated him. Kisame just grinned at the door Kabuto had slipped out of and closed behind him. He wondered what secrets were hidden away in this little house Kabuto had chosen. A far-from-dead bone guy, maybe? That would almost make up for missing the fire. It had been months since he had last seen Itachi's black flame in action. Itachi was definitely holding a grudge, sending him here instead of letting him watch the fun. Not that Kabuto couldn't be fun, too, now and then.

"They're not that ancient," Kisame argued. "A few centuries at most, I'd bet. Don't pout just because we found the body and you didn't."

Kabuto reigned in his temper. Obviously Kimimaru had failed. That Kisame had been sent meant neither Itachi nor Sasuke would be requiring his services. He was glad to know that since healing Sai had made a serious dent in his reserves. It still pricked his pride to know Itachi had found the source of the negative energy tainting that house despite him having searched the place first. He really did hate the sharingan. Still, at least Itachi was willing to do an exchange, meager as it was. Kabuto pointedly lifted the bone Kisame had given him. "This is not a body. It's a jawbone. From an infant."

"It has teeth. That's all you need, right? Want me to crush one for you?"

"Why does he insist on destroying the bodies?" Kabuto demanded. "He knows I want them."

Kisame grinned. "That's why he destroys them. At least he saved you some teeth. When's the last time Orochimaru did that?"

Never, of course. Orochimaru disdained his research, when he bothered to acknowledge his theories at all. Anything that had happened before Orochimaru's original life was of no consequence to him. In his eyes, demons were merely another stage of mutant evolution, one he had yet to capture and harness for himself. Itachi's fanatical delusions about other dimensions and reincarnation turned Kabuto's stomach, but at least Itachi was willing to throw him a bone now and then. Even if it was just an ancient jaw with three tiny baby teeth. Kabuto extracted the smallest of the teeth for Kisame to crush.

Kisame did so with relish and dusted his hands off into the little bag Kabuto provided. Having his own teeth damaged was a pet peeve of his. Crushing teeth for Kabuto to test on Itachi's behalf? Now that was fun. He grinned as he watched him dip a finger into the dust and bring it up to his mouth. Kisame didn't know of anything Kabuto would hesitate to taste in the name of that research of his. He had to respect that. The creepy little guy wasn't the least bit squeamish. It probably came from working with the snake for so long. "Well?"

"Not human."

"Demon?" asked Kisame.

"I can't say that without running tests." He wouldn't have said that regardless. The only 'demons' he acknowledged were the ones made of energy and contained within the bodies of mutants. As far as he was concerned, Itachi's 'ancient demons' were nothing more than a concentrated offshoot of the gradual speciation mutants had continued along to this day. They represented what mutants were evolving into, not what they had been bred from. "I can confirm that it is too mutated to be human." That was all Itachi wanted to know, after all. "How was it killed?"

"Hard to say since the house fell on top of it. Speaking of houses, you're not hiding the bone guy in yours, are you?" Taking him out would put him good with Itachi. He hadn't just been forced to miss the fire, he had dug up half that damn house before Itachi had finally told him what he was really looking for.

"No," said Kabuto. "I haven't seen him."

"You sure? No sense protecting a dead man. He tried to kill Sasuke, you know."

"No," Kabuto sighed, closing his eyes. "I didn't know that." He could easily believe that, though. Orochimaru would blame him for it, too, for letting it happen on his watch. As if he had any influence on Orochimaru's lovesick fool. A heavy hand patted his shoulder. He opened his eyes to glower up at Itachi's lovesick fool.

"Look on the bright side," said Kisame. "At least you got some teeth out of it. Right?"

"Yes," Kabuto muttered. "There is that."

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

Itachi's vision of the world was a mad interpretation of the first law of thermodynamics through the eyes of a tentacle porn addict. Or perhaps a cephalopodiatrist, to lend him some credence. If the things he saw were energy given shape, then they must be coming from somewhere. His logical conclusion was that they squeezed their way through cracks in the barrier separating this world from the next. That those things were residual traces of disembodied souls and the ravenous exploratory extensions of larger spiritual beings was a leap Iruka refused to make. Energy given form, visible only to those with the eyes to see it? Perhaps. Far more likely they were a common hallucination stemming from people's universal fear of slimy wriggling things. Had Iruka seen such things as a child, he certainly would have viewed them as evil if not demonic. So he had sympathy when he witnessed through Itachi's eyes that first glimpse of his newborn brother and the horrific sight of an infant covered by frantically writhing...things. For a moment he shared that horror, then rational thought resumed. Unlike all of his other forays into the memories and dreams of others, he remembered himself this time and recognized the disturbing vision as just that - the vision of a disturbed mind. It was obviously an only child projecting his resentment, revulsion, and fear onto the newcomer to the family. That Itachi had gone on to see similar things elsewhere merely proved he had embraced and fueled that madness until it made some sort of sense in his mind.

Iruka closed his own mind as firmly as he could. None of the 'evidence' Itachi showed him did anything but emphasize just how crazy the man was, and just how long that craziness had been building up. He couldn't understand why Itachi even bothered showing him the memories. Was knowing that Itachi had been sent away for a year after being caught trying to boil his infant brother alive in order to 'clean him off' supposed to show Itachi as anything but batshit crazy? And why was Itachi so caught on the screaming? Even as a toddler Sasuke had screamed when his mother screamed. That was supposed to mean something? Their father had never liked crying or screaming. Who did? Their father had silenced the screaming pair and warned Itachi that if he ever used 'those eyes' again he would personally tear them out. To Iruka, that proved the man had seen Itachi's eyes change before, and he couldn't fathom why he had ever let Itachi back into the house after the first time. To Itachi, it was some shocking revelation that his father knew exactly what he was experiencing because 'those eyes' were passed down through the bloodline all the way back to an ancient ancestor who may have mated with something of demonic origin, and, oh, the mental leaps were so astronomical Iruka's brain hurt just witnessing them. He felt so bad for the family he couldn't blame them for handing their deranged son over to Oz. The only question in Iruka's mind was how and why Itachi had escaped that incarceration to wreck havoc on the rest of the world. Iruka wasn't subjected to those memories. This was about Sasuke and his place in Itachi's twisted view of the world, and about Itachi's mistake.

Iruka was still wondering about that 'mistake' when he was finally abandoned in the void. The murder of their parents had broken Sasuke's mind. Was that the mistake? Underestimating how fragile a normal child's mind could be? Itachi had taped the pieces back together and locked the memories away, but the tape could only hold those doors closed for so long. Like the energy tentacles squirming through the cracks in the barrier between the worlds, those ghosts kept seeping through the cracks around the doors to get at Sasuke's mind and the longer the sharingan worked to keep them at bay the weaker it became against them. Was that the mistake? Programing Sasuke's sharingan to repair the tape when Itachi wasn't around to apply new layers himself? Or maybe the sharingan itself was the mistake. Did Itachi regret having made him a mutant? According to Itachi's interpretation of things, the sharingan ran in the Uchiha bloodline, so Sasuke might have come into a mutant talent of his own had he not interfered. Between those locked doors and the sharingan Itachi had given him, that would never happen now. Did Itachi regret that missed opportunity? Or did he think the 'ghosts' themselves were the remnants of some latent talent that Itachi had inadvertently snuffed out? Iruka had no idea. All he knew was that Itachi had made a mess of Sasuke's mind and left the wounds to fester beneath shoddily reapplied bandages and he wanted Iruka to heal those wounds once and for all. In exchange, Itachi had crafted a tether Iruka could use to explore the world. Itachi's world?

Iruka had seen more than enough of Itachi's world. He wanted to go back to his own now. Without Itachi in his head he could no longer see or feel the man's 'energy tentacles', but he could hear them rustling and whispering all around him. Only his refusal to believe in such things kept him sane.

From what little he could remember, being lost had always meant floating like an empty shell in the recesses of space until, after an eternity, he was drawn in by the gravity of another person's pain. The tether was designed to keep him connected to his own body and serve as a lifeline to pull himself back as needed. But strength was required to pull himself. Strength out here was energy, of which he had none. Itachi had drained and abandoned him in order to force him to 'experience the freedom' he had gifted him with. It seemed sadistic. But since Itachi was certifiably insane maybe he really didn't understand that being out here with his mind intact was much worse than having no sense of self. He could think. He could count. By his count he had only been out here for a few minutes and already he felt in danger of losing his mind. He wouldn't survive hours of this, much less an eternity. He wondered how long Ino had been lost out here. She had recovered with only a momentary hysteria. Maybe he wasn't giving himself enough credit. Then again, she hadn't been surrounded by disgustingly noisy tentacle monsters that were, in his imagination at least, squirming all over him. He reminded himself that those things were just a manifestation of Itachi's madness. They weren't real. It was getting harder and harder to convince himself of that. The cracks were so vivid in Itachi's eyes, a web that bound the world with tendrils connecting each mutant and starbursts splintering the fabrics of their dimension in each spot where a cataclysmic explosion of energy had fractured the barrier. The tentacles swarmed in those places, feeding and breeding on the remains, just as they had at the black windowed house. Iruka had been repulsed by that house since his first glimpse of it. It would be so easy to believe Itachi's explanation for that instinctive revulsion. But he didn't dare open that door.

The only sign that he was being pulled by someone was sudden receding of the noisy - and entirely imaginary, he reminded himself - tentacle things. It sounded as if they were rushing away from him. He realized he was the one moving an instant before the pain consumed him. Then he was staring through a blur of tears at a bulging stomach and the bloody rip being widened by his - her - fingernails. He felt the desperate anguish, knowing something was wrong, that he was dying inside her and she had to get him out, had to see him breathe at least once before she died or it was all for nothing. And seething hatred for the old man watching from the other side of the bars, even for the young boy who had been brought to witness this ultimate proof that they were no better than animals. Worse than the physical or even the emotional pain was the terror of trying to tear the flesh without hurting the baby. Iruka was so horrified, traumatized even, to find himself experiencing a self-inflicted cesarean that he suddenly wished he had embraced Itachi's madness after all. It would be so much easier to believe these bodies were merely fleshy containers on a temporary stop the souls made during the trip between then and there. Because if, as he had always believed, this life was the only life they got, he was about to experience one ending in a vain attempt to give birth to another. The true horror wasn't living this death. It was knowing he would live with the memory of it.

.-.

Neji was deeply regretting his decision to buy his way into Iruka's care. The mutants here weren't just mutants, they lived as mutants. Some of them, like Shikamaru and Tenka, were deeply involved in the 'mutant front,' laying the foundations for an outright war between the species. Sasuke, with his family drama, had dragged the others into 'mutant on mutant' chaos. Even Lee, who struck him as relatively grounded despite his outlandish appearance was eager to build upon his 'talents' in order to be more useful. As far as he could tell there wasn't a single person in or associated with this house who was remotely normal except for Hinata. How absurd was that? It wasn't supposed to be like this. Iruka had described his home as a place for mutants to live a normal life, thereby proving they were as normal as any other young people their age. Normal. False advertising at its finest. Ino had it right. They were all freaks. It was only a matter of time before Neji was forced to include himself under that heading. This was the complete opposite of what he had wanted.

He blamed Shikamaru the most. Despite Shikamaru's casual use of his talents, he had seemed utterly normal. They had messed around because they could, they were at that age, sharing a room, with a mutual lack of revulsion that was nearly as good as an attraction, so why not? Just a nice way to pass the time. Then Neji had asked him how long he had been living in the house and the floodgates had opened. Shikamaru had revealed himself to be anything but normal. Worse than that unpleasant shock was that Neji had envied him for having a mission, a purpose in life. Eventually Shikamaru's mission would get him killed, but there would be others to take up his fight and that made it worthwhile. If Sasuke represented the black side of being a mutant, fighting mutants who targeted their own, then Shikamaru represented the white, fighting humans who targeted mutants. Neji had never experienced the black and didn't want to be tempted by the white. It was bad enough being in the gray. Accepting that he was a mutant meant accepting that he could have saved Hinata years ago but hadn't. He hated being a mutant. But suddenly he was beginning to hate being a useless noncombatant even more.

"What are you doing here?" asked Gaara.

Neji had been asking himself that very same question. He turned to glare at the newest addition to the house who, from what he understood, had dabbled in both the black and the white. Strange for Gaara to be out here with him when there were fights to be fought. "Nothing," he snapped. That was the problem. He wanted nothing to do with mutant problems, yet actually doing nothing felt...pathetic, if not outright cowardly. That did not sit well with him.

Gaara walked over the center of the dirt patch until he was standing directly between the two mutants. He was disappointed to sense no violence behind Neji's glare. "Are your talents useless, then?" He watched as the boy shoved off the rock and stalked back into the house. Probably just as well. Someone useless would only get in his way. He dropped his eyes to stare at the dirt behind him. "And you? Why are you here?" The mutant who surfaced was far more intact than he had been the last time Gaara had seen him. He was also darker skinned, with black patches around his eyes and a hairless lizard-like tail. Interesting. Gaara's eyes gleamed. This one could definitely put up a good fight.

"Are you here for Sasuke?" asked Gaara. "Or Naruto?" He supposed he could protect Iruka as well, in deference to Naruto's demon.

"Neither," said Kimimaro. "I'm here to return this." He tossed Sasuke's sword onto the grass near the house, then turned back to Gaara. "I am also here for you. I came to escort you to a far better place." Because Gaara belonged with them and bringing him back with him was the only way he would be allowed back himself. It didn't matter that he had accomplished his mission with Kabuto being none the wiser. The samples he had collected of Itachi's flesh, blood, and bone wouldn't make up for his having nearly killed Sasuke right before Orochimaru's borrowed eyes. That he had gained similar samples from Sasuke might go a way toward soothing Orochimaru's temper, but only if he could keep the man from having him killed on sight. Gaara would fix that. With Gaara he wouldn't just be allowed back, he would be welcomed. He might even be welcome enough to displace Kabuto for a time. That would be worth having left both Uchihas alive.

"I'm not interested in going anywhere at the moment," Gaara admitted. "How do you intend to change my mind?"

"By whatever means necessary."

Gaara grinned.

.-.

Lee saw Bunchu to the front door and then stiffened, excused himself, and tore off around the side of the house. Bunchu let himself in and headed upstairs only to be barred from examining either of the boys by Shino. He was directed to Kakashi and followed up the stairs to find the girls hovering just outside Iruka's door. Bunchu closed that door with all three of the kids on the other side of it. Kakashi, who was sitting in a chair beside the bed, sent him a blank look before turning his attention back to Iruka. Bunchu directed his own attention there as well.

"Glad you could make it," Kakashi said flatly. "Maybe you can figure out how he's still alive. I have seen humans with more energy than he has."

"I have seen him with less," Bunchu admitted. "His body has no energy because he isn't in his body. He isn't in his body because it has no energy to hold him. Either state can cause the other. He is currently somewhere else."

"Sleepwalking?" That was what Iruka had called it. Kakashi was more than happy to seize on that explanation. To the sharingan Iruka was like an empty husk. Where even a dying human had a spark at their core until the very end, Iruka had a black hole. Kakashi had felt that if he looked at if for too long he would be sucked right into it. So he had stopped looking. He looked at Bunchu instead, the man Iruka considered so reliable. "Can you bring him back?"

"Not without having contact with the body he is currently in. Even then, I'm not sure it would work. His mind has been altered."

Mind-fucked, Kakashi grimaced. "What does that mean?"

"Tampered with," Bunchu frowned. "Doors opened that should be closed. Tears where he used to have scar tissue. General disarray that could be hiding further alterations. And all of his shields are down." Even the ones Iruka couldn't lower on his own. Anyone with the slightest telepathic abilities could waltz right into his empty head. Bunchi's eyes narrowed. It appeared that someone already had.

Kakashi rose when Bunchu stalked to the door, pulled Ino into the room, and shut the door on the other two. Kakashi didn't need him to explain. Her face said everything. "Ino?"

"I didn't make it worse!" Ino cringed. "He was already like that. I was only in there for a minute, just to see if there were any physical injuries. I got out as soon as I heard them. They were in there before I was, I swear!"

"They?" asked Bunchu.

"You can't hear them?" Ino's face flushed with anger until she snapped. "I knew it! I told Sakura you wouldn't be able to help! That creepy eye of yours is useless with stuff like this. Useless! Go help Sakura heal Naruto and stop pretending you can do anything about this! And, I swear, if you ever yank me around like that again, I'll-" Kakashi stepped up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. She choked, her eyes blurring until Bunchu was a six-eyed freak rather than a three-eyed one. It wasn't an improvement. She made a disgusted face at him and then looked back at Kakashi. "I didn't hurt him and he can't help him. He couldn't help me, either. I don't know what's wrong with Iruka's mind, but he isn't alone in there. There are things in there with him. Bad things."

"Iruka isn't in his mind at the moment," Kakashi sighed. He didn't know when he had gone and grown attached to this one. She did make a mean pot of coffee. His lips quirked into a wry smile. "If something is in his mind, we'll just have to make sure it's gone before he gets back."

"Is he lost, then?" Ino winced at the very idea, but... "I got lost. I'd rather be lost than trapped in there with them."

"I see," Bunchu said flatly. A quick look at the memory itself explained more than anything she had to say. He should have guessed. He shook his head at Kakashi. "What she heard is of no concern. It could have been anything from a telepath remotely accessing his mind to the residual energy in this room filling the void left by his absence. I could close the doors and raise his shields but since I can't access his memories when his mind is elsewhere there is no point in doing that. No one who looks in there will see anything. More importantly, I don't know if he left of his own volition. His mind has been tampered with enough already. Any further meddling might hinder him from returning once his energy recovers. You shouldn't have been meddling in the first place," he told Ino.

Ino bristled and bared her teeth, but Kakashi spoke up before she could. "Would giving him energy help?"

Bunchu's eyebrows rose. "It certainly wouldn't hurt. Can you do that?"

"No, but I know someone who can." Kakashi went over to tug Shino into the room, shutting the door on Sakura's cry of protest. "I don't know how long this takes," he told Bunchu, "so if you'd take that noisy one down and set her to work on Sasuke, I'd appreciate it."

"Why Sasuke?" asked Ino. "Naruto is the one with no face!"

"He appears entirely uninjured now," Shino informed her. He watched Bunchu leave the room, sympathizing with Sakura when she was once again denied entrance. He raised an eyebrow at Kakashi. "Why did you invite me in here?"

"Iruka needs an energy boost," said Kakashi. "Can you transfer mine to him?"

Shino scowled. "Hinata worked very hard to give you that." Had she wasted it on the wrong person?

"Hinata?" Ino demanded. "What does she have to do with anything?"

Shino folded his arms over his chest and frowned down at her. "Since you and Sakura chose to tend to Iruka, one of you should give your energy to him. Assuming you desire to help him, that is."

"Of course I do," Ino glared. "But I don't know how to give someone energy. If I did, of course I'd-"

"I know how," said Shino.

"Then do it, already," Ino snapped. "And drop the attitude! You're the newest addition to this house! I haven't even gotten your name yet."

"No, I'm not," Shino muttered. "Gaara is. And my name is Aburame Shino."

"Whatever," Ino scoffed. "Just get on with the energy transfer if you really know how to-" Her eyes dropped to Shino's palm and she lurched back a step. "What the hell is that?"

"An insect."

"What? Why? That's-" Her eyes bulged. "You don't expect me to touch that, do you? Oh! Why are there two of them now? Ew! They're moving! Why are they moving?"

Shino sighed. Maybe he should transfer Hinata's energy after all.

.-.

"Oh, good," Lee sighed, "I'm not too late." He stopped beside Gaara and addressed the boy's would-be kidnapper. The man looked and felt considerably different now that he had tapped that evil power of his. "As you were honorable enough to state your intentions in advance, you should be honorable enough to agree this must not happen near the house."

Since getting Sasuke eaten would not further his cause, Kimimaro conceded. "Agreed. Shall we continue this discussion in the fields, Gaara of the Sand?"

Gaara's eyes narrowed. This wasn't a discussion, it was a fight. At least, it should have been a fight. He directed his annoyance at the interloper, though he did his best to keep it from sounding in his voice. "What do you think you're doing?"

Lee blinked in surprise. "I was given to believe that you lose control when your life is threatened, endangering anyone near you. Is that not true?"

"That's true."

"Then this must not happen near the house. Have no fear, I will personally ensure that your life is not endangered. Relocating is merely a precaution."

Gaara's opponent turned and walked away as if the matter was already settled. Gaara followed with rapidly growing anger that remained firmly fixated on the presumptuous boy at his side. "This is my fight. Do you intend to steal it from me?" He would maim him at the very least. Later, after the fight was finished, he would probably eat him. Just as well they were leaving the house, then.

"Not at all," Lee exclaimed. "Of course you have every right to defend yourself, and as Naruto and Sasuke are unable to join in this worthy endeavor I shall naturally welcome your contributions to this fight. Ours is not an opponent to be taken lightly. You have my word that I shall do nothing of the sort."

Gaara felt his anger faltered under the weight of confusion. The boy was somehow dousing his eagerness to fight. That shouldn't be possible. "What are you talking about?"

"Defeating your would-be kidnapper, of course. I do understand," Lee assured him. "You wish to fight your own battle. If you prefer, I will leave the attacking entirely to you while I focus solely on your protection. I am utterly flexible in terms of offense and defense. Defeating this villain is what matters, not the role I take in that endeavor."

No, Gaara decided, despite his confusion he was still irritated enough to eat him. The only question was whether or not he would suffer guilt for having done so. "The first time I saw you, you were with Shikamaru. What are you to him?"

"A voice of reason!" Lee beamed proudly.

Gaara was so stunned he nearly halted in his tracks. The Shikamaru he knew had always been his own voice of reason. What could have happened to change that? He hadn't seemed any different. But if he was now relying on this boy for advice Gaara should probably avoid eating him. Perhaps he shouldn't discount what the boy had to say so quickly, either. He didn't even know what the boy's talents were, after all. "Can you put up a good fight, then?"

"Yes," Lee said frankly. " I am very well-rounded. I was taught by the very best. I will not let you down."

Gaara eyed the dark gray tail of the man walking ahead of them. It was studded with bones, looking more like a dinosaur than any living reptile Gaara had seen. This man had fought Itachi and walked away, apparently stronger than ever. If Lee survived against him, he would prove himself worthy of being kept alive. And if he died then Gaara wouldn't have to worry about eating him. Either way, he would still be having a talk with Shikamaru when he got back. Temari had dubbed him a lazy genius. If Shikamaru was relying on Lee out of laziness Gaara would take it upon himself to snap him out of that in a hurry.

.-.

Sai didn't look up when Sasuke's door opened. He had bided his time to get in here without being observed. Now it no longer mattered. His charcoal pencil flew over the sketchpad, depicting the shapes if not the features. He wondered what Kabuto would make of this. Perhaps he already knew. Kabuto was the one who had advised him to draw Sasuke now, while he had the chance, rather than regret not having done so later.

"What are you doing in here?" Sakura demanded. She threw a frantic look back at Bunchu and didn't understand why the man wasn't rushing to throw the spy out.

"I'm drawing a picture," said Sai. Really, that should have been obvious. So much for Haruno being one of the smartest in this bunch. At this rate she would never master that talent of hers.

"Ignore him," said Bunchu.

Sakura hesitated for just a moment before choosing to ignore Bunchu instead. She marched over with every intention of throwing Sai out herself. Then she saw what he was drawing. He had captured Sasuke in his bed so vividly it could have been a photograph rather than a sketch. But it was the shadowy figures that immediately caught her attention and sent chills down her back. "Is that what you see? What are they?" Or who?

"I have no idea," Sai admitted cheerfully. "There is no such thing as ghosts. Otherwise, I would say he's a necromantic. Or, at the very least, haunted." He finally glanced up to smirk at Bunchu's third eye. "He's holding Iruka's hand. Except it was never Iruka's, was it? Did you know that at the time? That the severed hand belonged to one of Sasuke's imaginary friends?" He was curious how Iruka had picked up that hand, but didn't bother to ask. It wasn't as if Bunchu would tell him. His own hand moved to thicken the shadowy little figure curled up on the edge of the bed, but the body remained indistinct compared to that vivid hand gripping Sasuke's. Strange. "A toddler, I'd say. Can't be someone he killed, then. Of course, the room would be packed if everyone he has killed stuck around to haunt him." He looked around the room, and then his hand was moving again. Two more up against the wall between the desk and the head of the bed. Unlike the other three, these weren't in direct contact with Sasuke. They weren't even looking at him. They were facing the wall, their forms so vague they could have been shadows. Maybe they belonged to the house and had merely been summoned by Sasuke's necromancy. He snorted and had to bite back laughter. It was no wonder Itachi hadn't wanted him doing this. It had nothing to do with his talent affecting Sasuke. Itachi just hadn't wanted anyone to learn that his little brother was as insane as he was. Too bad for him. This one sketch would probably be enough to get the Order off his back. He hoped Tiedoll was in charge of the exchange. He would enjoy rubbing the old man's nose in his discovery.

Sai closed his sketchbook and rose with a smug smile. "Don't worry," he told Sakura. "There are no ghosts here. There is nothing here but a sad little Uchiha who is just as crazy as his brother."

"You don't know what you're talking about," said Bunchu.

"Whatever you say," Sai shrugged. He shook his head at Sakura. "Give my regards to Iruka. And I really am sorry we got off on the wrong foot. You have the potential to become an excellent healer. Don't let the wild cards ruin that for you. Or Ino, for that matter. She's just a breeder waiting to happen. Sad waste of talent, if you ask me, but I suppose someone has to continue the mutant race. Better her than you, right? Maybe I'll see you around sometime. You're going to be a bombshell when you grow up. Just so you know."

Sakura gaped at the door Sai closed quietly behind him. Then a sigh drew her attention to Bunchu. She promptly flushed.

"You should have ignored him," said Bunchu. "He has no idea what he's talking about."

"I know that," Sakura said quickly. "If anyone is crazy around here, it's Sai."

Bunchu was quiet for so long she began to grow uneasy. Then he sighed again, shook his head, and waved her toward the bed. "Let's get you to work."

"Gladly!"

.-.

Iruka never made it back to the void. He floated up and back when her consciousness faded until he was looking down at the little life squirming in her ruptured belly. Without her love and desperate hope tinting the scene he was overwhelmed by helpless revulsion. Only the nostrils and mouth were clear, making it look more like an alien parasite than a human baby. Because it was a mutant baby. They were parasites. That thought came with a tug, and then he was looking at the newborn from a different perspective. Curiosity and childish impatience. And disgust. Were they going to leave it there? Could a mutant baby survive with its umbilical still connected to a corpse? There were tiny flashes of white in that squalling mouth. It had teeth. Could mutant babies eat meat? Infant mammals were limited to drinking milk, weren't they? But this was a mutant. Maybe it could lap up the blood it was swimming in. He turned to look back at the general who had invited him to this event. "How long can it survive by eating its host?" He was granted a thin smile of pride and dark approval. He always said just the right thing. Because he had no filter and they liked him that way.

"You'll find out for yourself. This one is yours."

Perfect. He stepped up to the bars and smiled down at the grotesque yet lively creature, and Iruka pushed as hard as he could to get out of his diseased mind. There was a blurry lurch, as if he had tipped backward suddenly and then overcompensated so fast he should have fallen forward onto his face. Except it wasn't his face. He had gone forward, not up, and that sick mind was now a curdled mass of tumors. He sneered down at the grossly obese boy strapped to his table and longed to slice him open just to silence his blubbering. The gluttons were the worst. The sheer selfishness of mutants continued to astound him. Did the ungrateful wretch have any idea how much of his stockpile he had gobbled his way through in order to maintain that weight? "Have some shame," he spat. "You have eaten nonstop since you got here. Is it too much to ask that you give back to your own? That gut of yours will feed dozens. Fitting, considering you have eaten nearly that many during your stay. This should have been done weeks ago."

Could a mind separated from its body be physically ill? Iruka felt as if he were vomiting in his soul. Yet he couldn't separate himself from the man's thoughts, the feel of the boy's trembling stomach squishing beneath the hard press of his gloved hand. The blood alone would make enough pudding to feed a captive army. Assuming the ingrates didn't choose to starve rather than taint their palates with such a foreign dish. As if it was really so different curdled than it was when mixed with soups and stews. But minimizing waste was for the cooks to worry about. He was just the butcher now. His lip curled as the blubbering grew in volume. Perhaps he should start gagging them. He doubted a pig squealing would be as annoying as this. "Stop begging," he snapped. "I can't kill you first. You're too fat. Even with the drugs I gave you, half the blood would curdle before I can collect it if I killed you first. Besides, I know all about your stay here. You never failed to clean your plate. It's rather late to start wasting food now."

He turned back to his equipment. The fat distribution was top-heavy, leaving the legs more humanoid in shape than not. The femoral artery was accessible. It would take a little digging to get to it, but sadly this piglet was not the biggest he had slaughtered since achieving this post. He was by far the loudest, however. He scoffed. "Are you hungry again? Is that the problem? I supposed I could cut off a chunk of fat for you to chew on if it will shut you up while I work." Amazing how well those lungs worked under all that weight. A gag really was in order. One fashioned of his own fat would be most appropriate. He picked up his scalpel.

Iruka closed his eyes. He couldn't close his ears. He couldn't stop feeling the man's careful grip on that little blade. He felt his arm lift, felt his other hand grip a thick pinch of fat, and felt his throat close up. He was suffocating. His throat was being crushed. The pressure was all around him, squeezing the air out of his lungs, but with his throat crushed the air had nowhere to go. Was that his blood gushing out of his ears or parts of his brain? Iruka's eyes flew open, but he couldn't see anything but a red burn. Was he dying? They had better not feed his remains to the mutants. He would rather be eaten by worms than wasted on those things.

Iruka pushed. He had expected to detach, to float up as he had with the woman. Instead it was a sidestep and he was in the young boy on the table, staring through teary eyes at...a black humanoid mass. The mass jerked for a moment before collapsing out of sight. A far quicker death than he deserved, Iruka thought furiously. The boy didn't think so. He was too frightened, ashamed, and sickened to think anything but that it had been quick. He wanted to go quickly, too. A boy hurried over to cut at the rope binding his right wrist and he opened his mouth to beg him to use that knife on him instead, but what came out was a startled, "Do I know you?" Because Iruka had lunged forward. Iruka knew him. Nine years old if he was a day, with his hair falling straight to his shoulders, but it was undoubtedly Shikamaru. Iruka reached out to him frantically. If he could transfer to him, maybe he could stay with him, move forward until Shikamaru returned to the house. Once he was close to his own body he was sure he could get back to it. He strained until the boy's tears dried, his desire for death faded, and he stared in wonder at his rescuer. "How do I know you?"

"You don't," Shikamaru said quietly. "Your dad has connections, though. There's a fortune up for your return. First time I have ever heard of that. Figures I'd stumble across you instead. I've never done a rescue. Frankly, I don't know if I can. I hope you can walk on your own. I'll have enough trouble trying to keep us from being spotted without trying to push a wheelchair, too." He grimaced and hurried to cut free his ankles. "Assuming I can even find one..."

"I can walk," the boy said fervently. "I can walk anywhere if I'm with you." Shikamaru shot him a disgruntled look and Iruka winced back guiltily. Was he affecting the boy's mind? He couldn't be. That Shikamaru was a child proved this had already happened. He couldn't affect something that had already happened. Or maybe this was a memory, a dream of the past, and that was why the boy seemed to be adopting his own vision of Shikamaru as the answer to all of his problems.

"That's very creepy," Shikamaru muttered, before turning back to cut free the other leg. "But if it gets us out of here in one piece, I'll take it."

Iruka surged forward the moment Shikamaru took the boy's hand to help him sit up. The transfer was fluid, so easy, but when he turned and looked he was afraid he had accidentally stepped backward rather than forward. He was being suffocated again. Only this time it was just his ribs that hurt, a faint ache rather than outright pain. He, or rather Shikamaru, squirmed and muttered, "Ease up. I'm not as whole as I look." His hugger pulled back to beam at him, a broad smile that made his eyes get lost in his cheeks. Iruka recoiled in surprise. This boy - a teenager now, so was it the same boy? - was the spitting image of Akimichi, the doctor who had introduced him to Naruto. His son was a mutant? Was this his son?

"You've lost weight," the boy sighed.

"And you haven't gained much," Shikamaru snorted. "I thought you were working on that? I should take you for breakfast at the house I'm currently staying at. There's a girl there, total pain in the ass, but a good cook. She'd fatten you up in no time."

Do it, Iruka thought furiously. Right now. If he could just get home-

Shikamaru shook his head and Iruka tumbled backward as if he were an insect being swatted out of the air. He found himself floating, looking down at the two teens and clinging from a gossamer thread to the edges of Shikamaru's mind. He froze, terrified that any movement on his part would send him spiraling away to who knew where.

"What's wrong?" asked the boy.

"A telepath, probably," Shikamaru muttered. "You need to work on your block. I had a spy tell me the Black Order knows all about me. There's no way they got that from my head. I'm blaming you for this one, Chouji."

"Sorry," the boy winced sheepishly. "Dad tries his best, but I'm an open book. It runs in the family."

"Yeah, I know. Speaking of family traits, are you up to busting a wall down for me? We found a vault that uses a retinal scan. No telling whose. The walls could be a couple feet thick."

Chouji sighed. "I should have known you were here on business. Don't you ever take a break?"

"I just took one. You get me in that vault and I'll take another while we bulk you back up. I wasn't kidding about that girl's cooking."

"I'm still not eating meat."

"Forget meat," Shikamaru scoffed. "I'm talking home-made cinnamon rolls. The french toast isn't bad, either, if you can handle eggs."

"I'm in!"

"Great. And it will be a lot quicker now that I'm a regular taxi service." Shikamaru sent a slow look over his shoulder, making Iruka wonder if he could see some hint of him. "I suspect we'll have a tag-along for this one. He's still hanging around."

"The telepath?"

"I guess," Shikamaru shrugged. "As long as he stays out of your head, I don't care. If Oz has a telepath on the payroll now, good for them. He still won't be able to warn anyone in time to stop us. Not now."

"I can't believe you can transport other people now."

"Yeah," Shikamaru sighed. "I'm just full of untapped potential. They'll be listing me as S class at this rate. Hate to think of the pictures they'd be posting of me."

"Poor guy," Chouji grinned. "It must be awful excelling at everything you do."

"Tell me about it."

.-.

Gaara felt a surge of adrenaline as his opponent rushed him and his sand formed an automatic shield. His sand was too slow and his opponent too fast. But Lee was faster than both, appearing between Kimimaro and the half-formed shield, letting the bony whip wrap around his left arm and breaking the man's grip on the weapon with a kick upside the head. Once again Gaara felt his eagerness transform into frustration. He had yet to take a single step since the start of this fight. Since he hadn't made an eye, he was forced to turn now and then in order to direct his sand attacks. But every time Kimimaro attempted a direct assault on him, Lee intervened and he was left watching the two of them dart, and in Lee's case flip, around until Gaara's patience snapped and he broke them apart with an attack of his own. So far as he could tell, those attacks of his had left more scratches on Lee than Kimimaro's strange weapons had. Gaara had an annoying sensation in his stomach because of that, which he suspected was guilt. He resented feeling it. Lee kept throwing him gently reproving reminders that they were allies, comrades, partners, and other such platitudes. He was sorely tempted to ignore Kimimaro and direct his attacks entirely at Lee. The boy might not be stealing his fight, but he was certainly ruining his enjoyment of it.

Lee had a strange way of fighting, a strange way of moving in general. He bounced. He flipped around on his hands. During one flip he had kicked his opponent into the air and then sprung airborne himself in order to kick him back down. It was bizarre, and Gaara really wanted to send his sand after him to see if Lee could evade it in the air as easily as he evaded Kimimaro on the ground. When Lee bothered to evade. The two had more direct clashes than his own sand had against either. He wondered if part of the irritating sensation he was experiencing was jealousy. He envied them the physical impact of direct contact. They had beaten down the grass all around him with their clashes, and while his own waves of sand had been as mobile as them, he hadn't taken a single step. This wasn't like his fight with Kisame. He had been content to stand still because Kisame hadn't been interested in attacking him directly. Kimimaro was trying to attack him directly. Lee just wasn't letting him. The longer Lee kept Kimimaro at bay, the more Gaara's interest in Itachi's last opponent diminished, and the more he was convinced he was wasting his time by sending his sand after the wrong opponent. Enough was enough. If he wasn't going to enjoy this fight, he wouldn't let them enjoy it, either.

He took a step toward the fighting pair and the ground heaved beneath his feet. As always, his sand acted automatically to shield him. One second he was falling forward, the next he was crouched in a tight ball of sand. He could feel the pressure of some sort of cage just on the outside of his sand shield, and pain in his wrists and ankles. His sand hadn't moved quickly enough. The shield had formed around four slender skewers with tiny recurving teeth that caught and ripped when he shifted one of his arms. He forced his shield to crumble and wasn't surprised when the bony cage made no attempt to crush him. The cage appeared to be made of ribs. That didn't surprise him, either, considering its creator. What did surprise him was that the cage contained his energy nearly as well as Sasuke's had. Kimimaro should have used this during his fight with Itachi. Sasuke's shield had clearly annoyed the man, after all. This one only annoyed Gaara because of the skewers attached to it. They were so close to his veins that any movement on his part would risk him bleeding out and triggering a change. He had his own reasons now for not wanting to eat Lee. Did Kimimaro realize that? Or did he honestly think this cage would be able to contain his fully transformed self? Sasuke's cage had contained his energy without injuring or endangering him, giving him time to rage his way back to sanity. This one seemed designed to trigger a change and then keep him that way. If so, it was far too small.

He turned his head to glare at the fool. Kimimaro had traded roles with Lee, and was now keeping the boy from getting close to him. As if Gaara needed help breaking free of this cage. There was another striking difference between Kimimaro's cage and Sasuke's energy ball. Sasuke's had been a complete sphere, cutting him off from everything outside of him. Kimimaro's extended beneath the ground, down where the dirt was, where the sand was. Gaara dropped his eyes to look at the blood seeping into the dirt beneath him. Kimimaro had laid and sprung this trap without shaking the earth until the last moment. Still, had Gaara been faster he could have evaded it entirely. Well, Gaara wasn't fast. He could, however, teach the man a thing or two about subterfuge.

Lee was berating himself furiously. He had forgotten his opponent's affinity for dirt. He had also taken the man to be far more honorable than he actually was. Of course a villain with a blackened soul wouldn't hesitate to use a cowardly trap. But despite Kimimaro's dark energy, the man didn't strike him as being evil. His energy was evil, terribly wrong and disturbing, but Kimimaro himself had struck him as almost noble at his core. A misread, obviously, and not at all like him. Lee didn't have time to wonder how he had misread the man so badly. He had made a mistake and Gaara was now suffering for that mistake. It was unacceptable. He had vowed to protect him and failed to do so. He could not fail again. He darted at his opponent at top speed and was startled when bone skewers shot out of the ground, forcing him to evade. More traps? Or another aspect of Kimimaro's talents that he had been holding in reserve? That disturbing energy was thickening, billowing until his stomach clenched and he had to admit the man was stronger than him. Lee would lecture himself about his lack of humility later. For now, he had to free Gaara. Kimimaro was stronger than him, but he wasn't stronger than both of them. Between his speed and Gaara's amazing supply of energy, they would prevail.

Kimimaro finally clipped the fleet-footed nuisance with one of his earthbound skewers. He caught him by the neck with a freshly grown spinal whip and yanked him back to earth. He quickly pinned him in place. The boy's strength was nearly as annoying as his speed, but his energy and attitude were rather appealing in a way. Kimimaro didn't want to kill him if he didn't have to. He walked over to frown down at the struggling youth. "Give up. This doesn't concern you. It never did. Gaara of the Sand is a demon. He belongs with us."

"He doesn't want to go with you," Lee cried. "I won't let you take him!"

"You have no say in the matter. Be still now, and perhaps you won't bleed to death." He turned away and crossed to where he had caged the demon. Gaara's head was bowed, staring down at his pinned wrists. That sand shield of his had prevented the skewers from piercing the veins in his wrists and ankles, but Kimimaro was still surprised he hadn't transformed. Rumor had it that even a glimpse of his own blood was enough to unleash the beast. A pity that wasn't the case. He would have to injure him further. He wanted to deliver the demon itself, not a demon in boy's clothing. "It's over now. You may resent me once the tests begin, but you will thank me afterward when you never again have to fight what you really are. That is true freedom." The boy didn't look up. That was just as well since he hadn't been speaking to the boy. He ran a light hand over the ribbed cage and thin skewers shot out to slice the boy's neck open, spraying the ground with a thick splurt of...sand?

"Fool," Gaara murmured from behind him as he stabbed a slender skewer of sand into the base of his skull. Direct contact really was preferable now and then. Paralysis was boring, just as Shikamaru had claimed, but it was a quick way to finish an unsatisfying fight. The man crumpled in an ironically boneless heap. Gaara let out a disgusted sigh. "Did you really think you were the only one who could move under the ground? You shouldn't have used my fighting title so casually when you have obviously never seen me fight. Now you never will." It took more effort with Kimimaro than it had with Sai. Kimimaro had far more bones to crush. The end result was still the same. Gaara turned away before releasing the saturated sand. Although his sand enjoyed the taste of this as much as his demon side did, he didn't particularly like the sight of it. Or the smell, for that matter.

Gaara was almost amused by Lee's fervent apologies by the time he finished freeing the boy. No one had ever apologized to him. For anything. "You aren't as strong as you think you are," he informed him.

"I shall become much stronger," Lee vowed.

Gaara nodded as they headed back to the house. He hoped so. Fighting him would be more entertaining that way.

Silence reigned over the fields for a long while before Kimimaro's body twitched and then began the slow process of piecing itself back together. Even Orochimaru's cursed blood had its limits. He had died too many times today. Too many mistakes. He should have waited before setting out to capture Gaara, should have monitored the earth beneath his cage, should have guessed Gaara could create a sand facsimile of himself as lifelike as his own earthen ones. More than anything, he should have stabbed Itachi in the throat when he'd had the chance. Itachi might have died, Sasuke wouldn't have been injured, and he wouldn't be dealing with yet another failure today. A wisp of grass caught his ear and he nearly groaned. He was wrong, he realized. His biggest mistake had been accepting this suicide mission in the first place. He didn't bother opening his eyes. He already knew who it was.

"Have you had ample time to experience regret?" Itachi asked as he knelt beside the mutilated remains of his head. He plucked daintily at a bit of the bloody white hair. "Answer my question now and I will put you out of your misery quickly. Aside from your death, what did Orochimaru intend to accomplish with this?"

The man never knew when to quit. Kimimaro kept his eyes closed. He would take the answer to that question to his grave. The samples were safe. If Kabuto didn't find them then Orochimaru would undoubtedly send someone who would. One way or another, Orochimaru's next body might have Uchiha blood. Fitting revenge against both of them. Had his teeth been in their proper place, he would have smiled.

"Very well," said Itachi. "We'll do this slowly, then."

Kisame gave a grimacing grin. That black flame was a thing of beauty. But when it was used on a person and started at the feet? Yeah. Between the screams and the stench he would rather have been admiring it from a distance. Itachi had invited him along for the show, though, so he wasn't about to complain about having a front row seat. He had enjoyed watching Gaara's energy in action again, too. It was a damn shame they couldn't keep him. Once the screams stopped, he set himself to gathering up all the visible pieces of bone littering the area and tossing those on the blaze. That was fun, but the smell was pretty bad. It was a wonder Itachi could stand being so close to it. By the time Itachi released his flame and stood, only a humanoid shaped patch of dirt remained. Kisame knew from experience that grass would never grow in that spot again. Pretty cool, really.

"Cleanly done," said Kisame.

"Naturally."

"Are we finished here, now?"

"Not yet," Itachi murmured. He picked distastefully at his filthy clothing. Black flame prevented any energy from sticking around, an ultimate form of purification. The smoke, on the other hand, was undoubtedly settled deeply into his hair. He was long overdue for a hot bath. Unfortunately there was one more bit of business to attend to first. "Next we find Sai."

"The kid with the middriff?" Kisame asked in surprise. "I thought Gaara took care of him."

"Kabuto will have healed him by now," Itachi informed him. Kabuto was too curious not to have seen the boy's potential, and not wasteful enough to have let him die. "My little brother had the distinct memory of having been kissed by him." Compared to the disgusting things his brother and the ninetails' host had gotten up to, that was nothing. But it was the principle of the matter. He refused to have anyone saying he made empty threats, after all. "I am curious what else he may have done."

Kisame winced. That explained why Itachi hadn't changed out of his ruined clothes yet. This was bound to be messy, especially if Itachi still considered the kid too young to kill. Honestly, sometimes dead was better.

.-.
TBC

Chapter Text

By the time Shikamaru finished transferring them, Iruka had managed to pull himself in so he was a whisper in the back of his mind rather than a balloon floating along behind him. He was fairly convinced this was happening in real time, rather than some past memory he had stepped into. That was too bad for him since Shikamaru was clearly in no hurry to rush back to the house. It was a revelation, though. If this was currently happening, and Shikamaru had noticed his presence, did that mean others might as well? If he could control this and have some influence on the people he reached, then there might be some use to this talent of his. He had certainly moved from Chouji to Shikamaru by choice. Had Itachi given him the ability to do that? Or had allowing him to retain his sense of self given him the rational thought needed to make that choice? The chain was still there, tethering him to his body. As far as he knew that was the only real change Itachi had made to him. He wouldn't thank him for it, but he would be a fool not to take advantage of it. He focused on the chain, which seemed brighter, more solid as it stretched from his navel off into the void. He wondered how much energy it would take to grab hold and pull himself back. And how much time. He didn't want to wait. He didn't want to risk an eternity out there, either.

Chouji punched through the wall with a fist the size of an elephant. The hole was impressively clean with no cracks radiating from it and very little shaking. The room was reinforced too thickly to be in danger of caving in, but a mini earthquake down here would definitely draw attention from anyone above. That was the main reason Shikamaru had wanted Chouji's help. Although the upper floors of the base had been destroyed, there were still soldiers digging through the rubble above and working their way down. It was best if they didn't realize someone had already made it deeper than they had. If this room was their target then it would be best to destroy it long before they reached it. But first he had to see just what they were hiding in there. He watched as Chouji stepped back from the hole with a smile, his fist and the rest of him visibly deflated. That one punch had cost him a good thirty pounds. Chouji probably hadn't gotten his weight up enough to be doing this sort of thing. Shikamaru didn't bother lecturing him. Chouji's incarceration as a child had all but ensured he would never be able to eat enough to use his talents to the fullest. Just one of the many reasons he wasn't suited for this sort of work. He loved to help, though, especially when he was the best person for the job. Shikamaru patted him on the shoulder and pushed him back to lean against the wall. It was too dark for Chouji to see, and he had no business entering the room he had broken into, anyway.

"Wait here," said Shikamaru. "Let me take a quick look around and I'll get you out. I can come back on my own afterward."

Iruka tensed. If Shikamaru was planning to drop Chouji at the house and come right back here, he would have to be ready to transfer as soon as they arrived. If Shikamaru was planning to take Chouji back to the place where he had picked him up, then Iruka would have to stay with Shikamaru until he returned to the house after he was finished here. He wished he knew which of those things Shikamaru had planned. If he edged a little closer he would be in his mind and then maybe he would know. But Shikamaru had tossed him back earlier. He couldn't risk losing contact. His eyes dropped to the chain again. It was definitely more solid now. Had he recovered some of his energy? How long had he been away from his body? For all he knew, days might have passed. Or longer? He didn't even want to consider that. He needed to go home.

Shikamaru sighed. There was definitely someone riding him. Ino was the first person who came to mind. Her talent didn't sound anything like normal telepathy, so he might not be able to stop a direct attack from her. But from the way she had described it, she had to at least look at a person in order to use her talent. There were only a few mutants he had heard of who could seek a person out over a great distance, and none of them could make actual contact unless the person they were seeking out was also a telepath. Shikamaru definitely wasn't a telepath. But remote viewing past his block shouldn't be possible. He really hoped it wasn't Ino. If she had found a way to spy on him she would have to to be warned, possibly even trained. He didn't want any part of that. His work was troublesome enough without the girls getting wind of it. Ino was a meddlesome pain all by herself. Add Sakura to the mix and all bets were off. He really hoped it wasn't Ino. He climbed onto the thick edge of the hole Chouji had created and promptly cringed.

He had suspected this would be bad. The experiments being done here had been largely pointless and not nearly as deadly as in the places he usually targeted. There had been a few dangerous prisoners, like Gaara, but most of the kids they had freed were just mid level mutants who were no threat to anyone. They had been held and studied, but hardly tortured at all, really. Even the security had been so light that Bunchu could have gotten them all out without any trouble if that bomb-lobbing psycho hadn't shown up to complicate things. This just wasn't the sort of base Shikamaru was usually sent to. His talents didn't lend themselves to rescues. That might change now that he could transport other people, but usually he was sent to places where weapons and plans were being made, so he could learn as much as possible without anyone knowing he had been there. A base full of captive mutants was an unusual target for him. But there was a lot of secrecy around this particular base, even in the older records. And the precautions they had taken to protect those secrets had been designed as if they knew exactly which mutants might try to infiltrate the place. Now that he knew The Black Order had insight into his activities, that explained why he had been caught with soft light during his attempt. He could only hope that didn't become standard practice. But how had Oz known that he would be the one sent here? Even he never knew where he was going until the last minute. Had they been taking those precautions for years just in case someone like him ended up here? Something was here and Oz wasn't taking any chances of it being found. Knowing that, he had braced himself for something bad. But not this. This wasn't bad, it was crazy.

What the hell was wrong with them? The modern Oz was based in science. They still had the occasional sadistic freak on the payroll, but they no longer went out of their way looking for them like they had a few decades ago. The current leader of the group was touted as a humanitarian by the nonmutant world for his fair and reasonable way of dealing with the malcontents. Was he aware that things like this were being done? Did he buy into it? Or was this some twisted remnant of the Romefeller Foundation's religious leanings that had been secretly adopted by members of the current organization? Shikamaru hoped this was a hold-over, maybe a small faction within the organization that was doing insane shit under their leader's nose. If Treize Cushrenada was allowing this then it would add a whole new dimension to their fight. As if things weren't bad enough already.

"Shikamaru? What's that smell?"

"Offal," Shikamaru muttered. "Cover your nose. I'll be right back." He was going to have to go in there and memorize everything he could right now. There was no way he would come back here alone. Sometimes he really hated his life.

Iruka was so horrified he shoved the sight away with both fists. He flew out of Shikamaru's mind only to be snagged, once again floating along behind him. And that was worse because now he was free to look around with his own eyes. It was like a torture chamber out of a horror movie. There were rotten corpses strung up on the walls, an altar with drains leading in strange patterns along the floor to...a pit? A well? It was a black hole in the center of the room and there were things writhing up out of it and feeding off the remains. That was Itachi's delusion, Iruka told himself. He was only seeing that because of what Itachi had shown him. It wasn't real. But the tentacles closest to him were turning, reaching up toward him, and he didn't care if it wasn't real. They could see him. If they were energy then so was he and they were swarming to eat him up. He grabbed hold of the strand connecting him to Shikamaru and yanked himself back to the safety - and sanity - of Shikamaru's head. He hit him so hard the boy stumbled from the impact.

Definitely not Ino, Shikamaru grimaced. The presence was so heavy he had nearly gone right into the hole. Whoever the person was, he could feel him clinging to him like a cat suspended over water. Except there was no water in that hole, or blood for that matter. It was just a bottomless pit, possibly the source of the strange energy that he could feel crawling over the shadows he had wrapped himself in. What the hell was wrong with them? Were they dabbling in the occult? Did they really think they could 'destroy the mutant menace' by unleashing something worse? That didn't fit with anything he knew about Oz. This was more like the religious 'mission from God' nonsense The Black Order subscribed to, only in reverse. Satanists within Oz? Devil worshipers? He wanted to go to bed and not wake up for a good decade or two. Memorizing this place wasn't going to help anyone stop whatever these people were messing with. He looked anyway, memorizing the patterns carved into the altar, floors, ceiling and walls, because the man he reported to would want to know and he didn't plan to come back for a second look. It wasn't likely anyone else would offer to do it in his place. He didn't know what sort of energy this place was filled with, but he could feel it squirming and digging against his shadows. There was a lot of it and it was hungry. Few mutants would be able to come in here without being eaten alive. This room was going to have to be destroyed from the outside. He didn't envy the person assigned that task. It was a shame they couldn't just bomb the place out of existence like Oz did when they found a nest of mutants. Being one of the good guys sucked sometimes.

"Shikamaru...?"

The energy was probably seeping through the hole in the wall. Chouji might not feel it, but there was nothing wrong with his nose. Shikamaru turned back, sending shadows ahead of him wrap Chouji up. Either he sent too much or he hadn't recovered as well as he had hoped. He was two feet from the hole when something pierced the shadows shielding his right foot, wrapping up his leg and yanking him back. He lurched forward and caught himself on the edge of the hole. "Chouji!" He didn't need to explain. Chouji immediately fumbled his way toward his voice and caught his arms. Shikamaru wrapped them both up as thickly as he could and then focused on severing the tendril of energy embedded in his foot. He couldn't transport himself with part of him tethered to this place and the fresh blood had evoked a feeding frenzy. He could feel the energy now biting and clawing at his shadows. He ripped as much of that energy off his leg as he could, created a thicker barrier of shadows to keep more from getting in, and then transported them to Iruka's attic. The dusty air was such a welcome relief he would have happily taken a nap if it weren't for the pain. That stuff wasn't just eating his energy, it was like acid against his flesh. Energy that had a taste for meat? That didn't even begin to make sense.

"Are we-"

"At the house I told you about," said Shikamaru. He sat on the floor and used his shadows to gather up and contain the rabid stuff he had brought along with him. Once wrapped in shadows it looked like a small black skinned sack of writhing snakes. He had never seen anything like it. He would drop this off as a sample when he made his report. Hopefully someone else would know what to make of it. "There's a dangling light switch three feet to your right," he told Chouji. "There's a box between you and it, though. Be careful."

"I know," Chouji whispered. He walked right to the switch and pulled it with a look of wonder on his face. "I know this place. I feel like I've come home. Why would I feel like that?"

Shikamaru shot him a narrow eyed stare. "Is that you, Ino?"

"Eh?"

"Nevermind," Shikamaru sighed. His tag-along had obviously hopped over to Chouji. If it wasn't Ino, then it was probably one of the other people living in this house. He should have known. "If you feel like you know the place, just go with it. Do what comes naturally." He could have saved his breath because Chouji was already walking toward the door with a dazed look on his face. That guy really needed some mental shields. He was way too open for his own good. "Hey! If you're leaving, turn the light back off before-" He broke off with another sigh. Chouji was long gone, leaving him to either get up and turn the light off himself or find a dark corner to crawl into. He opted for the couch, of course. He stashed the shadow-wrapped bundle under the couch and wrinkled his nose at the dusty cushions. If he was going to make a habit of dashing to Iruka's attic, he should probably see about dusting that couch. Maybe. Probably not, though.

Kakashi jumped to his feet when the strange boy burst into Iruka's room. He had been making a lousy attempt at cheering up Ino when Bunchu had come back to tell them that Sakura hadn't been able to heal Sasuke completely. She just didn't have the energy. And now she wouldn't because Ino had already given hers to Iruka with nothing to show for it. Kakashi had watched as Ino charged Shino's bugs with her own energy, a pretty pink that matched Sakura's hair perfectly. Kakashi would make sure to inform her of that later. He had watched those bugs change the color of that energy to Iruka's blue before transferring it into his body. And he had watched as that energy was sucked right into the black hole he had imagined at the back of Iruka's mind. Ino had faced bugs and tried her best and it was all for nothing. To find out that she could have transferred her energy to Sakura instead, and actually have made a difference that way, was just one more blow. Kakashi had gone right past frustration to anger, and he was directing the full force of that at Bunchu. The man Iruka considered so dependable was proving to be rather useless. For example, Bunchu was standing the closest to the door when the intruder entered the room, yet he made no attempt to stop him from rushing to Iruka's bed. Kakashi had to do that himself.

He caught the boy's wrist and forced him back a step. Then he almost took a step back himself when the kid looked up at him and beamed. For an intruder, the kid looked awfully happy to see him. It was a bit disturbing. "Who are you?"

"It's Iruka," said Bunchu. "Let him go."

Kakashi flashed him a glare before turning his attention back on the strange boy. He had bushy brown hair, odd red spirals on his cheeks, and silver hoop earrings that were vaguely familiar. The baggy clothes and very pungent odor proclaimed him a slob if not an outright hobo. That smile, though...that just screamed happy puppy dog. Or Iruka? Kakashi pushed the band off the sharingan and released the possessed boy with a long sigh. The kid didn't seem to have much energy of his own, but he was a wearing a blue sheen around him that was unmistakable. He couldn't help wondering if Ino's energy had reached Iruka through that black hole, after all, or if it had never been needed in the first place. Iruka had apparently made it back all on his own. Why did that annoy him?

"What do you mean he's Iruka?" Ino demanded. "Where did he come from?"

Kakashi barely heard Bunchu's answer. The moment he was released, the boy rushed to Iruka and touched him. That was all it took for the energy - and Iruka, Kakashi assumed - to transfer over. It wasn't much energy, far less than what Iruka usually had, but it was enough. He looked alive again. The strange boy flinched back, looking around him with confusion and embarrassment. He started to say something, then his eyes bugged and he bolted for the door. Kakashi didn't spare him a glance as he resumed his seat beside the bed. The kid was the vehicle Iruka had used to get home. Knowing Iruka, that meant he would probably try and keep him, so Kakashi would have plenty of time to find out about him later. He leaned over him and murmured, "Are you awake, Iruka?"

Iruka's eyes opened, turned to him, and then Iruka pushed himself up enough to catch hold of Kakashi's shirt and pull him closer so he could bury his face against Kakashi's chest. There was a ragged breath, and then he broke into gut wrenching sobs. Kakashi flinched. The realization struck him like icy claws raking down his back. He was never getting out of his house. He had been warned that would happen and hadn't believed it. But here it was. He cared. He cared far too much. He hadn't just broken his own rules on a whim, he had done so for the same reason anyone would have, because he couldn't stand seeing what happened when he did nothing. Better to try and fail than to face the consequences of doing nothing, even knowing how much that failure could burn. And he did know. He knew better. He was setting himself up for failure and pain and far more trouble than he had ever wanted in his life. He had spent years avoiding this sort of thing because he knew better. Yet here it was.

His arms rose to curl around Iruka's shaking shoulders and he heard himself give a long sigh. Hadn't he thought it was time Iruka and Naruto grew up and faced the real world? He dropped his head to bury his nose in Iruka's hair. Maybe it was time he grew up as well.

.-.

Sakura hadn't been able to bring herself to leave Sasuke's room. Bunchu had left, after assuring her she didn't have any more energy to heal. She didn't have enough energy to hurt, either. Not that she planned to touch Sasuke. He was asleep and that was good. She had been able to heal his ribs and that awful looking spot on his chest, so he was breathing much better now. She wasn't going to disturb him. She just wanted to know if there really was someone else here. Ino would have mocked her mercilessly if she knew what she was thinking. Ino didn't believe in God, much less the immortal soul. Sakura did. She always had. And she had always wondered if her father had lingered to watch over her, to hear her apologies and forgive her for what she had done.

She found herself sitting on the floor next to Sasuke's bed, staring at that spot where Sai had drawn that little body. Maybe the shadowy figures were something Sai had seen in Sasuke's mind, but that didn't mean they weren't real. She had imagined her father so many times, so clearly she could almost feel his arms wrapped around her when she woke up crying and missing him. If there was even the smallest chance, then...

Her fingers brushed over the blanket next to Sasuke's hand. She hadn't even gotten to his hand before she ran out of energy. It was swollen and discolored and bloody. It was also curled slightly, and she couldn't look at it without seeing the little hand in Sai's sketch, the little body curled in the bed next to him. Was it a boy or a girl? Did Sasuke know he was there and talk to him, or did he dismiss it as a crazy delusion the way Sai had? Sakura couldn't imagine anything worse than lingering after death and having no one even notice. She pet the blanket, feeling foolish and sad and breathless. What was she hoping for, some proof of the afterlife? It was stupid. She knew that, but she couldn't help it. She licked her lips and rose to her knees.

"Are you really there? If you can hear me, can you give me a sign?" she whispered. Goosebumps broke on her arms as she listened. The room was silent. She couldn't hear anything but Sasuke's breathing. There was nothing to see and no reason to think the chill she felt was due to anything but her own imagination. But she was suddenly freezing and scared. What if wasn't the child who answered her? Sai had drawn others. What if they were people Sasuke had killed, vengeful spirits just waiting to be acknowledged? She shouldn't be doing this. Whether it was dangerous or merely silly, these weren't her ghosts and she had no business messing with them. She smoothed the blanket again with fingers that shook. Then she bowed her head and said a prayer for them.

The chill had faded by the time she stood up. She had definitely let her imagination get away with her. With a wistful smile, she looked at that empty spot on the bed and sighed. "I'm sorry."

Sasuke's fingers twitched.

Had she woken him up? She winced guiltily. She started to take a step backwards, to apologize again. Instead she found herself lurching backwards with one arm thrown up in front of her. She caught her balance and blinked in shock. Sasuke was sitting up in his bed, staring at her with red eyes, and for a long moment she didn't know what had happened. She hadn't seen him move. She stared at him until his eyes turned black and her hand started to burn. Her right arm was still raised. She turned it and gasped. Her palm was split open. How had that happened? It was gaping and bleeding, and she could see flesh and - was that bone? Her breath caught in her throat, making a strange sound, and then the heat flowed up her arm to her head and she swayed. Was she about to faint? Surely not. After all the gruesome injuries she had healed in that factory surely the sight of her own blood couldn't be enough to...

Sasuke flinched at the thump the body made. He stared down at the body for a few minutes before it dawned on him. Sakura was lying on his bedroom floor. Naruto wouldn't like that. Blood was forming a small pool next to her and was liable to stain the wood. Iruka wouldn't like that. Why was Sakura bleeding on his floor? His vision swam and he closed his eyes.

Murmurs swirled around him. His mother asking for a sign, but they had never done that on his floor. Never in his room. They were sitting on the carpet on the floor of her room, with the lights off and the incense making shadows in the candlelight. She held his hands and sang until everything was warm and happy and he wanted to crawl into her lap and fall asleep listening to the sound of her voice. But then she stopped, and squeezed his hands.

"Now close your eyes," she said, "and tell me what you see."

Sasuke's eyes flew open, and he gasped. For a moment the room seemed alive with smoky shadows, but that wasn't real. He was in his own room, in Iruka's house, and Sakura was bleeding on his floor.

He pushed off the bed and took a single step toward her. Then the room lurched sideways and he fell, catching himself with one hand. The wrong hand. Pain exploded as he curled over his knees, clutching his right wrist close to his stomach as if that would help make the hand hurt less. He wasn't aware of falling over until his head hit the floor and he heard himself grunt at the impact. He was a mess. No energy, obviously, but it was more than that. His balance was shot. There were too many sounds and thoughts crowding in his head, none of which he could trust to be real. The floor was real. Sakura was real. Her blood was definitely real. It shouldn't have been so hard to focus on that. They weren't screaming. As long as they didn't scream he could still think. If he could think he could act. In theory.

He barely lifted his head before everything swam, dark and smoky behind his eyes, and he could feel the carpet under his folded legs. He had always loved that carpet, silky and smooth, but thick and long enough to tickle the inside of his fingers when he ran his hands through it. Kyuubi's fur was coarse and rough in comparison. His eyes snapped open and he dragged himself over to Sakura. Maybe that memory was real, and his mother had owned a carpet like that. But there was no reason to be recalling something so trivial now. He kept his eyes open and his head close to the floor where the world was more stable.

Sakura's palm was flayed open. He had to have done that to her. There was no one else here. Was there? His breath caught as fear clenched along the back of his neck, the sense of an overwhelming presence right behind him, watching, reaching toward him, and the clamoring in his mind was deafening. He hadn't looked around the room and he wasn't going to. Kyuubi had said Itachi was gone for now. That was all that mattered because that was real. Wasn't it? That memory suddenly seemed far more fanciful than half of the ones flitting around behind his eyes. He had gone into Naruto's mind and interacted with his fox, who wasn't even a real fox? That sounded crazier than his mother performing some sort of seance. But Kyuubi was Naruto's fox, and Naruto was real. That was enough.

His left hand shook as he caught a frayed part of his shirt and ripped it. He kept his eyes on Sakura's wound. He was afraid to look away because the madness was behind his eyes. So long as he kept his eyes open he could focus. The cut hadn't been made by a knife. Perhaps he had used his left hand. He doubted he could uncurl his right hand enough to have made such a straight even cut. His shirt caught at the seam along his side and snagged there. He looked down in disbelief. How could he have cut Sakura's hand if he was too weak to rip through a few threads? He wadded the strip he had made and pressed it against Sakura's hand. There. He could hold it in place without having to get up. That would help stem the bleeding until she woke up or someone came or he got himself straightened up enough to function properly.

Was Naruto out of his cage yet? He wondered what conclusion Naruto would jump to if he walked in on this, him lying beside Sakura on his floor and holding her hand. He imagined this from Naruto's perspective, only in his mind there was no blood. He had thought there would be blood and horrific skeletal faces because how else would someone who had been dead for years look? But it was the body that bled and decayed. What was left was beautiful.

He had tried to see them that way. In his mind they had always been little sparkling creatures that played and flew because they all had wings. They swooped and swirled and formed a rainbow cocoon to keep the good in when she laughed and sang, and they surged and grew strong to keep the bad out when she yelled and cried. But that was just what he had pretended to himself, because that was what babies did, pretending and imagining silly things because they didn't know any better. He wasn't a baby. He knew better now. They weren't his creatures or Itachi's monsters, they were his mother's dead people. He tried so hard to see them the way she wanted him to but it was just pretending again because to him they weren't beautiful at all. They were dead. They were terrifying.

"Is there a woman?" she asked.

"I don't know," Sasuke whispered. They were just shadows, colorless and dead and he didn't want to be here with them.

"No, don't open your eyes. See with your mind, and listen with your heart. Can you hear that? She's speaking to you." She squeezed his hands. "That's your grandmother."

One of them was closer than the others. He didn't want to look, but he did, and he saw something that might have been a mouth but what came out was a squirming pile of filth and hate and death. He wrenched his hands free and covered his mouth to keep the scream in. He couldn't see the disappointment in her eyes through his tears but he knew it was there.

"Take long deep breaths. That's it. Good. Now, do you want to try again?"

"I want to go bed," he mumbled against his hands. Except he didn't want to go to bed, either. They would follow him. They always followed him now and they would be there in the dark, waiting for him to close his eyes. "I'm sorry." And he was, he was so sorry he couldn't see them like she did. If he could just see them right they wouldn't be so scary.

She sighed and brushed a hand over his eyes. "Don't cry. Crying is for babies, and you aren't a baby anymore, are you?" She smiled and pulled him into her lap.

He burrowed into her. He was too old to cry. He was also too old to be held like this. But he didn't have his imaginary friends to hold him now and he wasn't allowed to touch Itachi. She was all he had left. He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed as tightly as he could.

"Ow..."

He didn't want to hurt her, but he couldn't make himself let go. Soon she would stop hugging him and he would never feel safe again.

"You're hurting me, Sasuke-kun."

His eyes flashed open to stare blearily into the brightness. A white ceiling in the daytime. He was lying on his back on a hard floor. He turned his head and blinked at Sakura. She was lying on her back, too, staring at him and looking worried and confused. He was confused, too.

"You're hurting my hand," said Sakura.

Her hand. He had been holding the strip of his shirt against her hand to stem the bleeding because he had cut her somehow. He released his grip and brought his hand up to press against his eyes. The memory was so vivid he could feel the tight pinch of tears in the back of his throat. That wasn't real. It couldn't be. He would have known if insanity had run through all of them that way. He couldn't have forgotten such a thing. Children imagined strange things. But he hadn't. It wasn't allowed. Unless that had happened before the rule was put into place? He had forgotten how that rule had been placed. How could he have forgotten that? The memory was yanking him down, swallowing him up and fighting it was like trying to swim in tar. Why had his father come into his room that night? He had been sitting on his bed with his blanket up over his head, over his ears, and he had whimpered when the door opened. Why had he been afraid of the door opening?

His father had sat down beside him in the dark and taken his face in his hands, forcing him to look at his eyes. "No more crying, no more pretending."

He heard the rest, even though his father didn't say it. No more crying, no more pretending, no more brothers. He couldn't stop himself from crying.

"No," said his father. "No more crying. No more pretending. That never happened."

His tears stopped because the world stopped, silent and still and cold. The world was waiting, holding its breath, just like him. He stared into his father's eyes without seeing them.

"Say it."

He heard his own voice, like a quiet whisper at the other end of a dark tunnel. "That never happened..."

"Again."

"That never happened."

And it hadn't. Of course it hadn't happened. None of that was real. Maybe Itachi had cut off his mother's head and torn out his father's eyes. Itachi was insane enough to do that. Maybe Itachi had cut off a little boy's hand in that hallway. He could believe that, too. But the rest was nonsense. Itachi had stripped his memory of the murders because he had lost his mind, and Itachi had wanted him functioning like a normal person rather than a raving lunatic spending the rest of his life strapped to a bed in some mental hospital. If Itachi had left the door to that memory open now it was because Sasuke was sane enough to tell which parts were real and which weren't. Right? Surely that was right. Because the alternative was terrifying.

"Sasuke-kun?"

Sakura. She was real. Sasuke stared at her with relief. He just had to keep himself grounded, focused on something real, and wade his way through the thoughts and images and sounds filling his head until he had sorted them one by one and locked the madness away where it belonged. He wasn't Itachi. There was no chance of him embracing his own insanity. He was too sane for that.

"What happened?" asked Sakura.

"I have no idea," he admitted. His voice was hoarse and his throat hurt. Had he been screaming? He was sure now that the screams he had heard back then had been his own, just as Itachi had insisted. The dead couldn't scream, but a traumatized child could and had. That was why he had continued to hear those screams even after Itachi had covered his mouth and sent him to sleep. He had continued screaming in his soul right up until the moment Itachi had ripped it out.

He didn't realize he had gotten to his feet until he found himself falling into Sakura. She must have tried to catch him. He couldn't focus on that through the sudden pain, the horror of it. Itachi had ripped out his soul. Ripped it out and burned it up right in front of him. But without that soul there was no 'him', no more Sasuke, just Itachi's little brother. A hollow shell all blackened and scorched inside. Reinforcement, Itachi had called it. Purification of the filth that had plagued Sasuke since the day he was born. No more Sasuke, just the brother. The shell. And that shell had shattered every single time.

It wasn't a memory, it was looping horror, an unending nightmare that would swallow him up and never let go. Sasuke held it back with everything he had. If that was what Itachi did when he caught him with his eyes he wasn't ready to face it. He couldn't. He would break into a thousand pieces. There was no question of that. He couldn't break now, not when he finally had something to hold onto. He wasn't that shell, Itachi's soulless creation made in the image of the brother he had always wanted but never been able to have in Sasuke. That wasn't him. He was alive and sane and it didn't matter that he would never be what Itachi wanted. He had wants of his own. He was alive and sane and he had every intention of staying that way. Kyuubi wouldn't have to rip the insanity out of him. Sasuke would find a way to do that himself.

"Sasuke-kun? You should get back in bed. I'm so sorry I woke you up. And fainted! I don't know why I did that. I have seen blood before. And it's just a tiny scratch. It looked huge to me, but I was startled and probably not thinking clearly at the-"

"Sakura," Sasuke said sharply. Focusing on her helped for the moment, but it obviously wouldn't hold his damaged mind for long. "Where is Naruto?"

"In his room, I think."

She was holding his arms with both hands. Just a scratch? She must have healed herself while he was swimming around in his own head. He forced his legs to hold his weight and let her keep him upright. The room wasn't just swaying, it was dipping and churning and he wanted to close his eyes to get away from the sight of it. But he knew better now. That way led madness. "Help me to his room."

"Why don't I get someone stronger who can-"

"You're strong enough," Sasuke scoffed. "I can walk. I just can't balance." She looked like she wanted to argue with him, but he put his right arm around her shoulder and that stopped her protests. She blushed. She also scowled at him. At least she moved, finally, in the direction he wanted. Naruto would keep him focused, grounded, and safe.

.-.
TBC