Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Margaret stood outside her bar. She was not standing inside because the door to the Cat’s Tail had inexplicably turned as solid as the wall next to it, real shame. There were several children in there, an immediate red flag. Just like the one currently being waved out the partly open second story window. Margaret was at least mostly sure that was a good sign. Diona could usually handle herself around the drunks and large quantities of alcohol.

All around -and sometimes above- her, the city of Monstadt swirled around like a leaf in the breeze, or Venti on his third drink. She saw a young man sifting through the fountain for coins, a figure precariously perched on the god statue, and what looked like Diluc entering the Angel’s Share. She always thought it was a safety hazard for someone with a Pyro Vision to spend so much time in a room filled with alcohol, but who knows, maybe one day the Angel’s Share will go up, or rather down, in a blaze of misplaced elicit beverages. That would be nice. The Angel’s Share going down of course. Not arson.

In a wayward slightly bumbling jump, the figure on top of the god statue leaped from god’s hands, wings extending in a not particularly majestic flurry. The figure crossed through the city with staggeringly slow speed, their shadow chasing them on the ground and surprising the man stealing from the fountain. The figure set down in a slightly more majestic tap onto the cobbled streets of Mondstadt. From this distance, Margaret could tell quite clearly who it was. It was the Traveler, the mysterious girl with blond hair who was said to have fallen from the sky and was now on a quest to find her lost brother. On the way of course she had also saved multiple cities from destruction, but that’s not what Margaret noticed about her.

In a subtle trot, the Traveler -Her name was Lumine, everyone just called her Traveler for some reason- approached Margaret, a rare opportunity for sure. The ‘Hero of Mondstadt’ didn’t typically have time to talk to commoners like her, geezer. 

“So, you couldn't resist stopping by again, huh?” Margaret asked on que.

“...” said Lumine.

“... Just kidding! Loosen up a little! Mondstadt is a city of romance!” Margaret said to break the silence.

“... I was wandering through Guyun Stone Forest and while climbing up a 90 degree vertical cliff face, I bumped into this thing,” Lumine said with reasonable timing, as she took about from somewhere, considering she didn’t have pockets, a large five foot long greatsword with blue and gold embellishment, “Noelle’s sword wasn’t hungry, so I’m gonna give it to you. Appreciate.”

“Oh… this is… lovely,” Margaret stumbled. “It’ll look whimsical over the mantle,” she finished, finding her footing. “You’re too k…”

“No,” Lumine said. “No mantle :(“

“Hey,” someone with a very annoying voice shouted from behind Lumine as they manifested, “I thought you were gonna give me that sword!” The voice flew out from behind as a small two foot tall figure in gold and white robes and a very evil face. 

“Paimon,” Lumine said, turning to face the unreasonably short figure, crossing her arms, and doing a teacher's voice, “we already gave away the sword, and you know there are no takesie backsies in life.”

“I takesie backsie!” Paimon shouted in a very loud, high pitch, and annoying voice.

“If you takesie backsie!” Lumine shouted, grabbing Paimon by the throat, “then you get tacksie backsied out the window!” 

Lumine hurled Paimon through the nearby window of the Cat’s Tail, Paimon’s form tumbling through the air like Venti two more drinks in, and smashed with a high octave scream of, “oi,” into the glass.

“Anyway where was I?” Lumine said simply, turning back to Margaret. “Ah… If you try to mount this sword in your mantle, I am going to tear every shingle from your roof and stuff them down your throat,” she finished with a twinkle. 

Lumine not particularly softly shoved the sword into Margaret’s hands. It was almost as tall as her, taller than Lumine, and very hard to carry, not helped by the manner in which it had been delivered to her hands. “Well, thank you Traveler,” she pushed out over what should have been the straining task of carrying the sword, which for a reason unknown to Lumine, seemed light and effortless in Maragret’s hand. 

“Now then Lumine, is there anything else you’d like to say?”

“Don’t call me Lumine, turnip. If I ever hear that again, I’m going to pack every mint in Mondstadt into your house and burn it. Anyway, I’m looking for minions unpaid volunteers partners to come with me into the Spiral Abyss Lumine’s Traveler’s Suspiciously Spiral Shaped House of Fun. Do you know anyone?”

“Oh, Traveler, I can’t say I do, but I’ll make sure to keep a lookout. The Cat’s Tail brings in quite the cast of interesting fellows.” Margaret vocalized, edging some confidence from the sword at her side.

“Mmmmmmm party members. Economics.” Lumine whispers, scratching her chin. “This is satisfactory,” she finished, turning to leave.

In that moment, Lumine sensed something, something off about the sword. Her vision went white for a second and when it returned, there was a dark miasma around the sword. Lumine blinked again, and it was gone. Margaret looked at Lumine with worry and shock on her face. 

“Traveler, are you okay? Your eyes rolled back into your head for a second and I was extremely worried.” Margaret said.

“...” the Traveler said, having no other choice because it was the only dialogue option given.

Suddenly, Paimon emerged beside Lumine (despite being thrown out the window only moments ago) in a sprinkle of stars and constellations.

“Paimon can sense something wrong with that sword…it’s a good thing it's no longer ours! See ya Margaret!” Paimon said in a very high pitched annoying tone, before dragging the Traveler away from Margaret, leaving the owner of the Cat’s Tail with a giant, concerningly not heavy, possibly cursed, miasmatic, sword.

Chapter Text

Kaedehara Kazuha, the man with no friends, living ones at least, was smoking his daily naku weed, his 40th one of the day actually, and it was only 12:05 am. The day had just started, but Chloris had already restocked a bunch of naku weed. He was her most regular customer, afterall, and shockingly the calmest, considering how much weed he did, but how unsavory Lumine was in buying her Valberries, s huddering. Despite the numerous times Kazuha had come to her saying something along the lines of “clouds hide, the birds call!” or “the wind knows me” Kazuha never acted as high as he should be.

Kazuha exhaled, letting the smoke of the weed hide to him the memories of his many, many deceased associates. Actually, it was only one, but one is also many, as Kazuha would say. 

“Heehee,” said the Wind in a Micheal Jackson-like manner

“Who’s Micheal Jackson?” Kazuha responded. 

The wind proceeded to start moonwalking.

“Rad moves, wind, rad moves,” Kazuha continued, “that's real poggers…” Kazuha leaned back on the wall, except there was no wall. He was in an open field. Kazuha fell, but he did it with style, rising into the air with all of the grace of Venti on his seventh drink. Kazuha reached for another naku weed and put it in his mouth. He exhaled disappointingly, for the screams of his dead friends haunted him to this day. They weren't screams of pain though, mostly screams of “Kazuha stop smoking naku weed you’re gonna get yourself killed!” and “I’m not even real, Kazuha. I’m just your subconscious telling you what’s right!” but Kazuha didn't care. If he died, he would meet Tomo (considering that they both end up in the same place, in which case, maybe going up wasn’t going to help that  ifykyk). So Kazuha smoked more naku weed. He even broke the Inazuma record for smoking naku weed, beating both Yoimiya and Arataki Itto, rising high, but not as high as he is right now, which is to say several feet off the ground.

But oh, the screams were taking him again. Back to the land of his past, I guess.

When Kazuha was a little lad, and he wanted berries and cream, but before the naku weed had gotten to him, his mummy always made him do the little lad dance. The ridiculous hillichurl skin costume dance with all the kicks and waves. Kazuha hated it, so he swore eternal vengeancevengeance on mushrooms. The vengeance thing wasn’t related to the dance, he just hated plants, which was why he was a vegetarian. 

Nayyway, then his friend was brutally murdered in the vision hunt decreee. Poor Tomo, Kazuha still had his vision too, made a nice paperwieght for when the bagage of his long and sad existence caught up with him. Kazuha sat in Windrise contemplating his existence for hours, his total smoked naku wed count going up by the hundreds.

“cheze,” someone said calmly, or maybe whispered, or maybe shouted, Kazuha couldn’t tell. What Kazuha could tell was the blunt blade of a greatsword striking against his chest and driving him to the ground. Looking up throughthrough the haze of all his incredibly dead friends, -so sad :(- Kazuha saw above him a tall figure silhouetted by the sun, mounting a large five foot greatsword over their shoulder, its gold and blue embellishments glinting in the sun. The silhouette raised the sword above their head and brought it down on Kazuha’s. 

The memories ceased as the world went dark.

When kazuha awoke, still feeling extremely high, which i don't know if that's a good thing or not, he was surrounded by people, so many people… but one voice stood out to him, as the voice belonged to a blond haired woman who was pointing at him. He was still high and could barley hear, but he heard the woman say one word: “yes. That one. Leaf boi.”