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Seonghwa knew that idol life was hard. He had first seen it as a young boy, when he first got interested in elimination shows and then the K-Pop industry as a whole. He had known how his sunbaenims had suffered through injuries, sickness, awful managers, noisy interviewers and sasaengs. He had seen his members suffer physically and mentally for their jobs and their fans. Held Wooyoung when he couldn’t perform after he injured his back. Made San understand that, no, they didn’t hate him for gathering more attention than the rest of the group. Seen Yeosang’s teary eyes backstage when he had dislocated and relocated his finger on stage. Helped Yunho understand that he was worth more than his jokes and optimistic nature. Talked Mingi through panic attacks. Got Jongho to finally believe he was more than good enough to stand on the same stage as Seungmin and Eunkwang-hyung. Cradled Hongjoong against his chest when the captain doubted himself and his talents. Been there for all the ups and downs the group had faced.

Hell, he himself had smiled and danced through broken ribs, sprains, a damn hip joint injury to show his appreciation for Atiny.

They all worked through stuff that didn’t seem possible unscathed. But he had to realise there were things they couldn’t work through.

He woke up that particular morning to find he had woken before he was supposed to. Yet with a look at his phone he realised his alarm was going to ring in a few minutes. For that time he could relax a few precious minutes in bed, he mused. Instead he did the rational thing and got up, knowing if he didn’t stand up now and cuddled up into the warm covers he would never leave the warm cocoon of blankets.

He shivered in the cool air and threw on the soft socks with the llamas on them that San had gifted him for his last birthday as well as a washed out hoodie. He turned around to check on his roommate just to find the bunk bed above his own empty – again. Though hadn’t Hongjoong returned to the dorm with them last night? He had even gone to bed before Seonghwa or all the others – claiming tiredness after he had spent so much time with practising for their next comeback. The others had been a bit bemused as the dance practise hadn’t been that exhausting but then again none of them spent most nights at the studio producing and improving their songs.

Seonghwa yawned and stretched. Maybe he would find Hongjoong already awake in the kitchen burning toast. Heading out to prevent any of the disasters that his mind conjured up at the thought of the words ‘Hongjoong’ and ‘kitchen’ in the same sentence, he instead heard the captain’s quiet voice from the living room.

“Yes, manager-nim, I’m really sorry. I know. I’ll try.”

Just as Seonghwa stuck his head around the doorway his captain slid the phone back into his hoodie pocket and sighed. Concerned Seonghwa came closer, noticing how Hongjoong must have left their room in a hurry, just wearing his boxers and what Seonghwa recognized as the hoodie he had been nagging Hongjoong about to pick up from the couch.

“Everything okay?”, he asked gently, not wanting to spook the other man.

Still Hongjoong jumped but then just tiredly turned to face Seonghwa. Now closer to each other, Seonghwa could see how unnaturally pale Hongjoong was, dark bags under his eyes and eyes red … and shiny? Had their captain been crying? He was wringing his hands nervously, looking down at his feet and refusing to meet Seonghwa’s eyes.

“Joongie?”, Seonghwa inquired when he didn’t receive an answer, reaching out to touch Hongjoong’s upper arm in a gesture of comfort.

Finally Hongjoong looked up at him, and there really were tears swimming in his eyes, refusing to be shed. Immediately Seonghwa was concerned. Not because of the tears – Hongjoong was a naturally emotional person and his happiness, sadness, anger, defeat all were reflected by tears. But the implication of why Hongjoong was crying now was what scared Seonghwa.

Suddenly Hongjoong’s face turned pale and he placed a hand against his stomach.

“Excuse me”, he said through clenched teeth and pushed past his hyung.

Seonghwa only managed to turn around in time to see Hongjoong stumble into the bathroom across the hall. He had hoped Hongjoong would speak to him, not run off to the bathroom to get some privacy but apparently that would not be the case today. Assuming he would be fine for the time being and probably needing time to calm down, he turned to the kitchen, knowing he needed to start breakfast now or they would be late.

Slowly one after another the younger members trickled into the room, most of them half-asleep except for Wooyoung who somehow still had the energy of a three-old even at ass o’clock in the morning.

“Wooyoung-hyung, I swear to God, if you don’t shut up until after I have finished all my coffee, you will regret it”, Jongho threatened, obviously in a very good mood, and gestured at … the whole pot which was still half full.

“You will do no such thing”, Yunho grumbled and gulped down his own cup to refill it from the pot.

“Shut the fuck up, all of you”, Yeosang muttered, “it’s too … Wooyoung, I love you, but get your fingers away from my kimchi rice or I will throw away your games.”

Seonghwa grinned into his own cup of coffee, knowing that none of these spats would turn into something big. It was refreshing to see the younger members tired and cranky in the morning, completely normal young adults unlike the god-like idols they showed on camera. It was endearing, really, how Wooyoung and Yeosang stuck out their tongues at each other, not noticing how Jongho did drink all the coffee.

Still, his mind was with Hongjoong, concern tearing at his heartstrings. The young captain hadn’t left the bathroom since running off earlier, at least according to what Seonghwa had noticed and heard from San who was complaining loudly how he really needed to use the bathroom, having drank a lot of soda before bed.

At that moment Seonghwa heard San exclaim loudly: “Finally, hyung! I thought you had fallen asleep in there. And did you really need to let in all the cold air?”

There was no response, at least not loud enough for the members in the kitchen to hear. The others who hadn’t seen Hongjoong this morning were unworried, now fighting about the last of the rice. Seonghwa unobtrusively got up, put his mug in the dishwasher and then casually walked to the bedroom where he expected Hongjoong to be.

Jackpot. The captain was standing in front of his wardrobe, staring at his clothes but not making any obvious choices. He didn’t turn around when Seonghwa entered and closed the door behind himself quietly.

“Hongjoong”, he commanded, gently but firmly, “spill.”

The younger man turned around, wrapping his arms around his body maybe in an attempt to conserve some warmth. He swallowed hard, then his shoulders slumped down as he resigned himself to his fate.

“That was our manager-nim on the phone”, Hongjoong explained quietly, still staring resolutely at his toes. The older man nodded, having expected as much and encouraging his dongsaeng to continue.

“I … uh, I asked him if today’s schedule could be postponed, he said it wasn’t possible.”

Well, that explained nothing.

“Let’s sit down”, Seonghwa suggested and without waiting for a reply pulled Hongjoong onto his bed with him, never letting go of his arm. Hongjoong curled up into himself, knees pressed to his chest, making him look smaller than he even normally was.

“Why do you need the schedule cleared today, hm?”, Seonghwa encouraged, rubbing circles on Hongjoong’s arm with his thumb.

“I … I’m so sorry, I know we need the meeting with the producers and the CEO today as the comeback is coming closer but I woke up sick and I know it’s a horrible time and I am so sorry but I don’t think I can work today. I know it’s not professional and you’ve all worked through worse things but my stomach is killing me and I am so so tired and it’s so embarrassing. I’m sorry, I swear I’ll make it up to you, I just …” Now that he was speaking all the words spilled from Hongjoong like a waterfall and it broke Seonghwa’s heart to see him so defeated and broken. He wondered briefly how sick Hongjoong was, what symptoms next to a stomachache he was feeling, but right now he needed to stop the mental spiral.

“Joongie, stop”, he softly interrupted him, not wanting to hear Hongjoong blame himself for things so obviously out of his control. “It’s not your fault that you’re sick. I’m proud of you that you made the decision for yourself that you can’t work when ill.”

Truthfully Seonghwa was scared how bad Hongjoong must be feeling that he willingly stopped working. After all he would stay at the studio even when sick or exhausted and had to be dragged home by either his members, the managers, Eden, Maddox or on one memorable occasion Stray Kids’ Bang Chan. He was lowkey pissed that the manager didn’t recognize that Hongjoong must feel terrible if hardworking Hongjoong asked for time off.

“Doesn’t matter, does it?”, Hongjoong whispered, defeated, “I still have to go in feeling like this.”

“What exactly is ‘like this’?”, Seonghwa coaxed, wishing to help his friend and to understand the situation better.

Hongjoong bit his lip and it seemed like it was the most difficult task he ever had to do answering the question.

“I woke up at around four, I think, because my stomach was hurting so badly. Till I called the manager I spent the time in the bathroom.”

“You threw up?”

A shaky nod. Seonghwa gently pulled Hongjoong closer to him, rubbing his back and feeling his neck to find out if he had a fever. There was undeniable heat there.

“How often?”

“I dunno, four, five times maybe.”

“Anything else?”

The silence that followed was pretty self-explanatory but Seonghwa had to be sure so he could get Hongjoong the right medication and support. There must have been a reason why he had ran off to the bathroom earlier and he was nearly sure that Hongjoong hadn’t thrown up. If his suspicion was true he at last knew why his captain didn’t want to spend three-four hours in a meeting room with their boss and managers and other staff.

“Diarrhoea?”

Hongjoong gave a tiny, hesitant nod, obviously embarrassed. His face was flushed, not just from the fever.

“Oh, sweetheart”, Seonghwa whispered and opened his arms – letting Hongjoong decide if he wanted a hug. To his surprise, but then again not really, his captain dove into his embrace, softly crying and shaking. Seonghwa just rested his chin on top of his head, ignoring how uncomfortably warm the smaller man was, and held on tight.

“I don’t want to go in like this, it’s so embarrassing and I feel so sick. I can’t sit through discussions on the concepts when my stomach is cramping so badly and what if I …?” He broke off with a sob and didn’t need to continue for Seonghwa to understand his dread.

“Ssssh, I got you, sweetheart”, Seonghwa mumbled, pressing a gentle kiss to Hongjoong’s head. He knew that Hongjoong didn’t mind, at least not with him. Hongjoong had a natural dislike of touch by other people, often uncomfortable when strangers even brushed him but it had gotten better over time with the members. He felt comfortable with them and trusted them to respect his boundaries. Yet at the beginning of their careers he had flinched away from them, disliking the casual touch, and it had been such an integral part of him that Atiny now expected to see him act disgusted. So he played it up for the cameras, never truly uncomfortable and the members always making sure to check in with him afterwards. Often he even exaggerated for funny content. But in the confines of their home and the familiarity that came with living together 24/7 he didn’t mind anymore.

“Do you want me to call the manager, say you really need to stay home today?”, Seonghwa asked, already knowing the answer.

“There’s no use. I have to be present at the meeting with the CEO and all of the producing staff. They can’t move it”, Hongjoong sniffed, relaxing against Seonghwa’s chest.

“Is there anything I can do to make it better? Do you want me to tell the others that you don’t feel well?”

Hongjoong shook his head frantically. “No! No, it’s so embarrassing!”

“You can’t help it, you’re sick”, Seonghwa reminded him, knowing it wasn’t enough and adding, “remember when Yunho threw up over two of our managers on the flight to Japan when the turbulence was so bad? Or how Jongho sneezed Yeosang in the face during his last flu? If I remember correctly I even once puked on your shoes when we were trainees.”

Hongjoong shuddered and swallowed. “Stop talking right now or I’ll return that particular favour.”

Definitely not wanting that, Seonghwa returned to the topic at hand. “What I was trying to say is that you don’t need to be ashamed. Even our great captain can fall sick and we all rely on you when we’re not at our best. You would actually do us a huge favour if you relied on us too, when poorly, so we don’t worry so much. We all want to help you and the kids don’t need to know all the details.”

Still Hongjoong shook his head wildly.

Seonghwa gave him a tight smile, then suggested: “How about I tell them that your stomach hurts and you vomited, so that they can help more with the ideas and the concept at the meeting, covering for you? You can just lie down here till we need to leave, take some pills and I’ll even get you a hot water bottle, hm? Doesn’t that sound better than trying to power through on your own? You just have to sit there and look pretty.”

“I always look pretty”, Hongjoong grumbled.

Seonghwa couldn’t suppress a grin. “That you do. Now, can I tell them?”

Hongjoong looked torn but another cramp seized his stomach and he curled into himself, panting, and subconsciously grabbed Seonghwa’s hand to transfer the pressure. His resolves were slowly crumbling and when he whispered a defeated ‘alright’ Seonghwa didn’t feel bad that he had sort of coerced him into agreeing with the promise of a hot water bottle.

“Get comfy”, Seonghwa said and helped the younger man climb under the covers of his bed – there was no way he would make Hongjoong climb up to his bunk at the moment. For a moment he just stood there, stroking back Hongjoong’s hair from his forehead and watching the formidable captain curl up into a small ball under the blankets. Then he got up from his perched position at the edge of the bed and nudged the waste basket closer just in case. “I’ll be back soon.”

When Seonghwa returned to the kitchen he encountered anarchy – at least it looked like it. Wooyoung and San were chasing Yeosang for whatever reason, Yunho and Jongho were arguing at the coffee machine and Mingi, who seemed to finally have found his way out of bed, looked like he was asleep on the table.

“Kids”, Seonghwa said and when he didn’t get a reaction repeated himself over the loudness of the others. Still no reaction. Sort of enjoying what he was about to do, Seonghwa stepped forward and in a few seconds he had pulled out the cord of the coffee machine and pulled the chair Mingi was sitting on into the middle of the room, causing the man to wake up and simultaneously building a barricade between poor Yeosang and his chasers.

“Kids”, he repeated one last time. The others turned to look at him, several different expressions on their faces, the most prominent however betrayal, except for Yeosang who again stuck his tongue out at Woosan.

“Ah, silence”, Seonghwa said with a grin, for a moment relishing in teasing his dongsaengs, “finally.”

“But did you have to sacrifice the coffee?”, Yunho pouted, making grabby hands at the plug Seonghwa still held.

“Yes”, Seonghwa replied, then turned serious, “I need you to listen to me for a moment.” Now he had their undivided attention, as normally those words belonged to Hongjoong.

“What is going on, hyung?”, Jongho asked, confused, tilting his head to the side.

Seonghwa sighed for - what seemed like - the thousands time this morning and announced: “As you know, we have that meeting about the next comeback in about an hour. However, Hongjoong isn’t feeling well today, so I want you to keep an eye on him and throw in your ideas about the concept, so that Hongjoong can rest during the meeting. He still has to come with us but the responsibility can’t just rest on his shoulders right now, okay?”

His words were met with worried silence for a moment. It was the first time they heard about Hongjoong being sick without seeing any evidence themselves beforehand. Normally their hyung pushed through any sickness without admitting he was feeling bad until he literally couldn’t go on. Though he had started to confide in Seonghwa after the great concussion incident of 2021 it had to lead to quite a few mishaps over the years. He had passed out during training multiple times and backstage at two concerts, got sick during a long drive because he forgot to mention that he had ran out of motion sickness medication, walked on a sprained ankle for three days so he had to use crutches for a while which could have been avoided, nearly landed himself in hospital because of pneumonia which he had played off as a flu. It was what they had thought an endless cycle and a hopeless trait of their captain.

“What’s wrong with him?”, Mingi asked, sounding nervous.

“Stomach flu, I guess”, Seonghwa explained, “he said his stomach is hurting badly and he apparently threw up a few times tonight. I’m pretty sure he is also running a fever.”

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Wooyoung turn pale. Yeosang immediately forgot their differences and reached over to place a comforting hand on his shoulder. With all the stress of the morning, Seonghwa had completely forgotten about Wooyoung’s emetophobia. Shit. Now it was too late and he really saw no way around it. He hoped it wasn’t to be so but he feared they all would see their captain sick over the day. Quietly Yeosang tugged Wooyoung out of the kitchen, giving him space to calm down in privacy.

“How can we help?”, Mingi inquired, a frown on his face.

“Yunho-yah, why don’t you check the cabinets for fever reducers and anti-nausea pills? Mingi-ah, you can help him. We also need a thermometer to see how high his fever is. Sannie, why don’t you make a hot water bottle? Jongho-yah, can you search for some comfortable clothes for Hongjoong and make sure we’re set to go in about half an hour? Please, all of you, keep the bathroom free as much as possible and give Joongie all the privacy he wants, ‘kay?”

The others nodded, turning to accomplish their tasks while Seonghwa returned to the bedroom with Jongho. The sight they found inside was heartbreaking. Hongjoong was curled up into himself, leaning over the bucket, panting. He looked up when they entered and choked out a helpless “Hwa” before he retched and the rest of his stomach contents spilled from his lips into the bucket below. Nothing much was coming up, just a few sips of water and bile, his stomach very obviously empty from earlier bouts of sickness.

“Oh, Joongie”, Seonghwa whispered and knelt down next to him, to brush back his sweat soaked hair and comfort him. Jongho focused on the wardrobe, finishing what Hongjoong hadn’t managed earlier, back turned in order to give them some semblance of privacy.

Helpless tears ran down Hongjoong’s pale cheeks, making him look pitiful and young. Seonghwa had enough braincells not to mention it. Instead he reached over to the bedstand where he kept a pack of tissues, ignoring how his arm would be in line of fire should the captain’s stomach rebel again. Tenderly he wiped Hongjoong’s mouth, then with a new tissue the sweat and tears that ran down his face.

“Are you done?”, he questioned. Hongjoong gave a tight nod and Seonghwa helped him lie back against the pillow. There was a knock at the door and Yunho, Mingi and San spilled into the room, holding the requested items.

“Why don’t I take care of this?”, Jongho asked and reached for the bucket to clean it out. He clearly sensed how Hongjoong was getting overwhelmed with all the attention and especially his weakness on display.

“Thank you, Jongho-yah”, Seonghwa said and waved the other three over, “all of you.”

San came closer to the bed and showed Hongjoong what he had brought. “Hey hyung, a hot water bottle just for you. And I brought you Shiber to cuddle.” San reached over to pull down the blanket but Hongjoong flinched away.

“I don’t want all of you get sick”, he said. San shook his head and replied: “If this really is the stomach flu we already got exposed, hyung. It’s not your fault and none of us can help it in these shared dorms. We’ve all got you sick on multiple occasions too and you never blamed us. Give yourself the same grace. Now let the hot water and Shiber make you feel better.”

Reluctantly Hongjoong nodded and once he was settled with the hot water bottle on his abdomen and Shiber in his arms, San sat down at the head of the bed, tenderly running his hand through his hair.

Yunho took it as his cue to kneel down next to Seonghwa and show Hongjoong the medication he and Mingi had sourced. “We got you something for the fever and the nausea, Hongjoong-hyung. Can you take these for us?”

Hongjoong hesitated, clearly overwhelmed. “Thank you, Mingi, Yunho, San, you need to get ready now.” Seonghwa threw them pointed looks and they all hurried to get up.

“Can Sannie stay?”, Hongjoong asked quietly, looking down at Shiber in his arms.

“Of course I can, hyung”, San replied quickly. If he was surprised he didn’t show it, he just sat back down and resumed running his hands through Hongjoong’s hair.

“Please take them”, Seonghwa requested, holding out the pills Yunho had given him. “You need to drink anyway, you’re definitely dehydrated.”

Hongjoong nodded and let San help him up to what was a sitting position only through technicality, leaning back against his dongsaeng. Careful not to spill the water Seonghwa tipped the water against Hongjoong’s mouth. The young man drank hesitantly, then faster. “You’ll make yourself sick if you drink so fast, sweetheart”, Seonghwa admonished, worried. “Here, just take the pills for now and let’s hope they stay down.”

Once he was done, Hongjoong, clearly exhausted, leaned back against his dongsaeng. “We’ve got you, hyung”, San whispered and held on tightly.

“Joongie, I need to get ready now. Stay here with Sannie, alright? I’ll leave the bathroom door unlocked just in case and when I’m ready, I’ll help you. Sannie please take his temperature while I’m gone.” They nodded and Hongjoong shut his eyes.

Seeing the bathroom door closed, a sure sign that somebody was inside (always trying the handle or calling out to ask if anybody was inside had proven awkward, so they had agreed to leave the door open if it was empty or it didn’t matter if somebody came in and just close it when used), Seonghwa turned around to go check on Wooyoung.

He walked across the hall to Wooyoung’s, Yeosang’s and Jongho’s room, knocking on the door and opening it when he heard Yeosang call a confirmation. Wooyoung and Yeosang were cuddled up on the bed, Wooyoung’s head resting on Yeosang’s lap sniffling quietly. “How are you holding up?”, Seonghwa asked, leaning on the doorframe, knowing to keep his distance. He didn’t want Wooyoung to freak out more as Wooyoung knew he had been close to the source of his fear-

“I’ll be okay, hyung”, Wooyoung whispered though he looked everything but, “how is Hongjoong-hyung?”

“He’s been … better. Sannie is with him now, we need to leave in 15 minutes, so I need to get ready but I wanted to check in on you.”

“I got him, hyung”, Yeosang replied and tightened his hold on his best friend, “go get ready.”

Seonghwa gave them a satisfied nod, then quickly went to brush his teeth and unobtrusively get the rest of the medication for Hongjoong from the cabinet. When he returned to the bedroom, San placed his finger in front of his mouth, shushing him. Hongjoong was deeply asleep on his shoulder, curled close to him and cuddling Shiber to his chest. Nodding his understanding, Seonghwa got dressed before turning to the unpleasant tasks. First he checked the thermometer San was holding out to him – 37,9°C, not as bad as expected. He knelt down next to the bed and gently shook Hongjoong’s shoulder.

“Hongjoongie? I’m so sorry but you need to wake up. That’s it, open your beautiful eyes for us. We need to leave soon, you need to get dressed.” Hongjoong groaned but blinked his eyes open. They were glassy and red, half-lid from tiredness. He pushed himself up from San, trying to stay upright on his own.

“It’s time?”, he asked groggily. Seonghwa nodded.

“I’ve got you”, Seonghwa said, holding him steady when he threatened to fall over, “Sannie, you can go get dressed, we leave in 8 minutes.”

“Are you sure, hyung?”, San asked, hesitating, “I mean, does Hongjoong-hyung really need to come? He’s in a lot of pain and with how sick he is I doubt he can sit through the meeting. He’s running a fever after all.”

Before Seonghwa could answer him, he himself not sure of his answer, Hongjoong squeezed San’s hand and rasped: “Don’t worry, San-ah. I got medication and I promise I will go home straight after the meeting, okay? I’ll be fine.”

Even though San didn’t look convinced at all he got up and with a small ‘get better soon, hyung’ he left the room.

“Alright, Jongho found you some comfy but stylish clothes. Do you want the medication now or get dressed first? And you need to drink something.”

Hongjoong hugged the hot water bottle close to his aching middle. “Meds first. I don’t think that drinking is a good idea right now.” He was breathing deeply again, his stomach obviously unhappy with the change in position.

“Bathroom?”, Seonghwa asked, prepared to help his captain across the dorm. The younger man shook his head. “No. Not yet at least.”

Satisfied Seonghwa handed him the pill. “Let it dissolve under your tongue”, he read off the instruction from the box. Hongjoong did as instructed and immediately gagged. Better safe than sorry, Seonghwa grabbed the trash bin someone must have brought in while he was out and held it under Hongjoong’s chin. The captain spat out some saliva, trying valiantly to keep from throwing up but he was fighting a loosing battle. With a forceful cough and a burp he spewed the stomach acid, the pill that had barely started to dissolve and the water he had kept down till now into the bin.

Once he was done, Seonghwa helped him drink some of the water, which Hongjoong swished about in his mouth than spat out into the bin he still held between his knees.

“I want to try the pill again”, Hongjoong finally said, voice hoarse.

“Are you sure?”, Seonghwa asked, knowing the answer already and handing him a new pill. Hongjoong nodded and placed it under his tongue. He gagged a few times but was able to keep his stomach in place for now. “Can I have a sip of water?”, he asked once he was able to talk, “the taste and consistency is both chalk, I dunno, it’s disgusting.” Seonghwa let him take a few sips then eased the bin out from the tight grip Hongjoong had it in and set it aside.

“Let’s get you dressed.”

Of course they didn’t make it in time for the two cars that were supposed to drive them to the company. To their collective surprise Wooyoung and Mingi, the two members they could always count on being late, were the only ones ready in time. Truthfully Seonghwa didn’t care what the others were still searching for when he helped Hongjoong to the sofa to wait for their dongsaengs. Just as they were ready to leave, Hongjoong groaned and curled into himself, hands pressed against his stomach.

“Hyung?”, Mingi asked, sitting next to him and having held his hand before Hongjoong had suddenly let go.

“I’ll be right back”, Hongjoong said and with a slight shake of his head in Seonghwa’s direction ran off to the bathroom.

“Alright, we need to be in the cars five minutes ago. I’ll wait here for Hongjoong, you go already.”

The others nodded, Wooyoung practically sprinting to the door, and left. Only Yunho remained, wringing his hands. “Aren’t you going to go check on him?”, he asked, when Seonghwa made no move to get up. Right, he assumed that Hongjoong was getting sick and Seonghwa was always the member they went to went sick to get comfort.

“No, Yunho-yah”, Seonghwa replied, “Joongie asked for privacy before. Go down with the others please, and make sure the first car already leaves with as much members as possible, including Wooyoungie.”

Yunho nodded and left.

It took a few long minutes until Hongjoong returned, face red from embarrassment and still clutching his stomach. “Better?”, Seonghwa asked. Hongjoong just shrugged.

“We need to go.”

“Are you sure you will be alright? On the drive and during the meeting?”

“I have to be.”

He wasn’t. Not that any of them had expected anything different. When they managed to get through the elevator ride down to the garage, only Yunho and San were waiting for them, as well as a manager.

“There you are”, the manager-hyung greeted them, mustering them up and down “oh, Hongjoong-ah, you really don’t look good. Yunho and San already said as much but … I’m sorry that your lead manager didn’t let you stay home.”

Hongjoong gave him a tight smile, bowing slightly, but not saying anything. He looked dead on his feet. The few minutes upright were obviously taking their toll on him. Silently they all entered the car, Yunho in the front, Hongjoong in the middle between San and Seonghwa. As soon as they all had sat down and fastened their seatbelts Hongjoong dropped his head on Seonghwa’s shoulder, closing his eyes. Seonghwa moved closer to the door so that Hongjoong could rest a bit more comfortably against them and out of the corner of his eyes he saw San take out a plastic bag in precaution and hold Hongjoong’s hand with the other.

Nearly immediately after the manager had pulled out of the parking spot Hongjoong fell asleep again. He didn’t wake until they were about two minutes out from the company but when he did it was in a rushed panic, already doubled over his cramping stomach.

“How long till we’re there?”, he panted, eyes wide and frightened.

“Nearly there”, the manager replied, looking at them worriedly through the mirror.

“I got a plastic bag here, hyung”, San whispered gently, “it’s okay if you can’t make it till we’re there.”

Hongjoong looked up at Seonghwa, tears filling his eyes for the umpteenth time that morning. Christ, it wasn’t even ten o’clock and Seonghwa was already done with the day. He knew, of course, as the only one beside Hongjoong that he wasn’t nauseous. Well, at least that he wasn’t about to throw up.

“We’ve got you, Joongie”, he whispered, feeling helpless and close to tears himself. Oh, how he wished he had gone against Hongjoong’s wishes and called their manager-nim telling him he could stick a meeting somewhere the sun don’t shine while Hongjoong was so ill. He could only imagine how terribly Hongjoong must be feeling, his stomach threatening to give up on him and the fear that was running through his head.

In the end, they made it. Hongjoong booked it past the surprised waiting members and the other manager with speed Seonghwa hadn’t thought was possible in his state but he made it.

Just then their head manager arrived, looking angry. “Where is Hongjoong? I told him he can’t stay home for some minor sickness when he have an important meeting with CEO-nim.”

Seonghwa felt Yunho’s hand on his shoulder, holding him back from exploding in anger at the heartless man.

“Joong-yah is in the bathroom”, one of their nice manager-noonas said, trying to cool the other man down. “He’ll be there in time.”

“Fine. But I expect all the others to come with me now”, the head manager demanded. Seonghwa was about to protest when their manager-hyung who had driven them stepped forward. “I’ll wait for Joong-ah.”

A curt nod and they all hesitantly followed the man into the direction of the meeting room. When Seonghwa turned around one final time he caught the eye of the manager-hyung staying behind who gave him an encouraging smile.

They entered the meeting room already full of company executives, Edenary, Maddox and of course the CEO, Kim Gyu-uk, sitting around a long table.

“Good morning”, the CEO greeted them and they all bowed quickly. “Wait. Where is Hongjoong?”

“Hongjoongie and another manager will be here soon. I apologize for their tardiness”, the head manager said, bowing deeper than all of them. Clearly he was trying to impress the CEO, he had never called any of them by their nicknames unlike the rest of the managers. No wonder he didn’t even try to move the meeting.

“We still have five minutes until ten, nobody is late right now”, Gyu-uk answered, frowning. “Sit, sit. There is coffee and tea, some cookies. Enjoy it.”

They all had just taken their seats when a pale Hongjoong and the manager arrived, bowing and quickly sitting down. Hongjoong ended up between Seonghwa and San, showing no signs of illness. There was even some make-up on his face. How he got that Seonghwa didn’t want to know.

“Would you like some tea?”, Seonghwa asked him, not knowing if it would help or not. Hongjoong shrugged, so Seonghwa just filled a cup with hot water and selected peppermint tea from the box. Maybe Hongjoong would feel like it later and it might sooth his stomach. Then the meeting began.

Half an hour into the meeting Hongjoong was fighting sleep, his eyes closing against his best efforts. Eden and Maddox who were sitting diagonally from them were throwing confused glances at them, already having looked that way when he had poured Hongjoong the – still untouched – tea. It was a wildly known fact that Hongjoong loved coffee and would always opt for it if given the chance. With copious amount of milk and ungodly amounts of sugar but never tea. They still had another three hours to go if not more. At least the younger members were actively throwing themselves into the discussions of concept and dances.

An hour into the meeting Hongjoong had nearly dozed off against Seonghwa’s shoulder twice. The oldest member had placed his hand on Hongjoong’s knee under the table to comfort him and to lightly hit him when he was nodding off too visibly. Maddox had taken out his phone and sent some messages, Seonghwa had felt the vibration of his phone but never answered it. He just shook his head knowing that Maddox kept staring at him. They could deal with worried hyungs later. Seonghwa didn’t even know at what part of the meeting they were at, too focused on the small, sick man beside him.

Two hours into the meeting they took a break after moving in circles for the past forty or so minutes. It was a relief for all of them, now all huddled together on the bench and on the floor close to the vending machines. Hongjoong had disappeared to the bathroom first chance he got. Just as he came back to sink down on the bench to rest against Yunho, sitting himself away as far as possible from Wooyoung, Eden and Maddox came over.

“What is going on?”, Maddox asked, face pinched, “you’ve been ignoring me, Seonghwa-yah.”

“Sorry, hyung”, Seonghwa said sheepishly, then turned to look at Hongjoong wanting his permission to tell their mentors what was going on. But Hongjoong was asleep again, Yunho holding him steady against his shoulder so it looked like he was just resting his eyes.

“Hongjoongie is not feeling well”, he admitted, not wanting to lie and not knowing how to come up with a believable lie.

“We expected as much. Why isn’t he home?”, Eden mused, looking a bit disappointed.

“Ah, the manager …”, San started to explain but at that moment they were called back into the meeting. Yunho and Seonghwa helped Hongjoong up and together they walked back inside. At least Hongjoong drank some of the tea, desperately needing the fluids.

Two and a half hours into the meeting and fifteen minutes of break in between Hongjoong was struggling. Seonghwa saw his resolves collapsing, his hand having moved to hold his stomach some time ago. Hongjoong’s face had went from white, to grey to green over the last minutes. He was breathing deeply, trying to settle the upset organ, and had given up on any pretences of looking fine. “Joongie?”, Seonghwa whispered, afraid how this might turn out. Maybe the tea hadn’t been a good idea after all. “Do you need to leave?”

San had given up on the meeting as well, turning to look at the two of them in worry. Hongjoong looked up at Seonghwa, eyes wide. “Please”, he rasped, tightening the hold on his stomach, leaning forward to rest his elbow on the table and his face on his hand. To anybody it might look like he was bored but all the members who now were looking at them knew that he was actually holding his hand in front of his mouth in a sad attempt to stop the inevitable.

Not knowing how else to help Hongjoong without revealing his sickness, Seonghwa spoke up for the first time during the meeting.

“Manager-nim, I’m sorry to interrupt?”, he said but turned to look at Gyu-uk-nim, “but could we have a short break, please?”

Instead of the CEO their manager, who had turned red after being interrupted during trying to impose his boss answered: “We just had a break half an hour ago.”

“I know”, Seonghwa said, looking sheepishly into his lap when he continued, “but I drank a lot of coffee and I don’t want to miss anything of the meeting.”

“Drink less coffee then. Now, as I was say…”, the manager started but stopped nearly immediately again, a disgusted expression on his face.

Next to Seonghwa, Hongjoong had finally and painfully lost the fight with his stomach and, retching loudly, he threw up on his lap in full view of all their hyungs and noonas. The room turned deadly silent as they all watched the captain loose his stomach over himself.

San was the first to react, pulling back Hongjoong’s chair so he could bent over further and get sick on the floor instead of on his dress pants and the edge of the table. Then there were surprised and worried voices, chaos really, as everybody tried to get a grasp on the situation. Yeosang was tugging Wooyoung out of the room, while Edenary, Maddox and some managers tried to get staring company executives out of. The lead manager stood there - mouth gaping open and closed like a fish. The other members got up to build a human wall around their captain, trying to hide him from prying eyes and looking away themselves. Seonghwa rubbed Hongjoong’s back, whispering comforting words and trying to get him to calm down, while freaking out internally himself. He had expected bad things to happen all day but Hongjoong puking peppermint tea, dissolved pills and other contents of his stomach on the meeting room floor during said meeting topped a lot of his fears.

And the CEO? He walked towards them. The members looked uneasy but they weren’t going to stop their boss.

“I’m very sorry, Hongjoong-ah”, he said once he reached them. Hongjoong, who had stopped getting sick a few moments before and now rested bent over with his eyes squeezed shut in humiliation and pain after San and Seonghwa had moved him away from the puddle of sick, looked up in shock. “I had suspected something was up. Clearly your manager prioritised his own rise in the company over your well-being. Once you’re better we will discuss who will be your new lead manager. He is fired on the spot, I can’t have him letting you all down. I hope you feel better soon, son.”

“Thank you, Gyu-uk-nim”, Hongjoong said sounding overwhelmed, trying and failing to bow while sitting down.

“No need for that”, the CEO said. “I told you to call me hyung. Anyways let your members take you home and get some rest. Seonghwa-yah, I’m very proud of you. You obviously covered for your unwell captain. You’re a good hyung.”

Seonghwa felt his mouth fall open and quickly bowed deeply. He had always known that Gyu-uk-hyung was a kind man but this surpassed everything. “Thank you”, he whispered.

“Are you feeling better, Joongie-hyung? Ready to go home?”, San asked gently. Hongjoong nodded.

“I got you a wet towel and some sweatpants”, a new voice said from the door. Eden, who had come to check on his favourite protegee.

“Thank you”, Seonghwa said, feeling like he was just repeating himself. They helped Hongjoong out of his soiled pants right there in the meeting room, not wanting him having to walk through the company building like that. He would be humiliated enough once he stopped feeling too sick too care. San wiped his mouth with the towel then they cleaned his legs, the others still protecting Hongjoong’s modesty now blocking the windows inside the room. They helped a pliant and tired Hongjoong into the - a bit too big - sweatpants that they really didn’t know who they belonged to (Seonghwa assumed Maddox-hyung but he wasn’t sure), then let him out of the room.

Outside of the meeting room only the two managers were waiting for them, one of them looking overwhelmed but joyful.

“Maddox-ssi took Wooyoungie and Sang-ah to the studio with him”, he explained when the others looked around for their missing friends, “Gyu-uk-nim gave me the temporary position of head manager, I promise I’ll do my best for you. Now, Joong-ah, do you need to go to the doctors or do you just want to go home?”

Hongjoong took Seonghwa’s hand, shuffling closer to him. “I just wanna sleep. And congratulations, we look forward to having you lead.”

Hongjoong fell asleep again on the drive home but this time they decided to let him sleep. Instead their strong maknae carried him inside, lying him down on the couch where they all could take care of him.

Well, for now they let him sleep head resting on Mingi’s lap. They had gathered the trash bin from that morning and wrapped Hongjoong in blankets as he couldn’t stop shivering. His fever was getting worse. A movie was running silently on the TV but none of them were really focused on it.

Around three in the afternoon they decided that waking Hongjoong to eat was a better alternative that him waking up from how much their stomachs were grumbling. So Seonghwa made some light soup, rice and some noodles, hoping they could convince Hongjoong to eat at least something. It wasn’t the greatest meal any of them had, scratch that, it was incredibly plain, but maybe Hongjoong could keep it down.

Jongho and San helped him carry the stuff over to the living room, Seonghwa made allowing them to eat on the couch for once. Yunho and Mingi had the harder task of waking Hongjoong up. After running between the kitchen and the living room carrying pots and eating utensils three times, Hongjoong was mostly awake, sitting cuddled up on Yunho’s chest. Mingi was pouting, probably wanting to be in Yunho’s position.

“You need to eat a bit, hyung”, Yunho said tenderly, “you need to take some medication. We took your temperature some time ago while you were asleep, you’re at 38.8°C. That’s a bad fever.”

“I’m not hungry”, Hongjoong said in a way that would soundly petulantly in any other situation but now only seemed pitiful and weak, “I’ll just throw it up again.”

“You haven’t eaten all day and what you ate yesterday you threw up tonight. We didn’t push fluids as much as we should have, your body is dehydrated and starved, hyung”, Jongho said, patting the captain’s knee. “Just try for me?”

Seonghwa didn’t need to see Jongho’s face to know that he was using his sweet smile, big eyes and maknae charms on their captain. Naturally Hongjoong nodded, defeated and unwilling to argue further. He looked so incredibly tiny, sitting there in too big clothes and on their giant’s lap, who dwarfed him even on his best days (meaning the days where he wore shoes that had higher heels than normally).

“Let’s try some soup and rice”, Mingi suggested and while Yunho let Hongjoong rest against him, Mingi fed him small spoons of food while Hongjoong ate slowly. Seonghwa handed him the pills once he had eaten enough and Hongjoong swallowed the fever and nausea medication quickly. Seonghwa held out the antidiarrheal but Hongjoong shook his head, face waxen.

“Doing okay?”, San questioned, “do you want the hot water bottle?”

Hongjoong shook his head again, just leaning back even closer into Yunho and pressing his mouth shut. After a few minutes of controlled breathing where none of them seemed sure he if he would be able to keep the food down, Hongjoong relaxed.

“I feel so hot”, he mumbled, “like my skin is melting.” He sounded frustrated and like he was about to burst into tears. Seonghwa could sympathize, Hongjoong’s body was seriously out of whack and nausea was always uncomfortably warm for him too. Then the dam broke and Hongjoong burst into sobs. In an instant Yunho tightened his embrace and rocked from side to side, shushing the captain. A lot of emotions were flashing over his face mirrored by all of them: panic, fear, sympathy, worry and pity. It really was unfair how such an amazing person could feel so terrible.

Seonghwa knelt down in front of them, reaching up to take Hongjoong’s hands which he used to hide his face in his. “I just want to feel better”, the captain whispered.

“I know, sweetheart”, Seonghwa said quietly, “How about I help you take a cold shower? It might help the fever and you might feel better afterwards.”

Hongjoong nodded and latched onto Seonghwa, wrapping his arms around his neck. For a moment Seonghwa was perplexed but then with ease that came from extensive workouts and carrying the members he lifted Hongjoong up, letting him wrap his legs around his waist. San followed them into the hall, wanting to help. So while Seonghwa helped Hongjoong get undressed (modesty was something they had given up on quickly, it was just not possible with eight people in one dorm) and striped down to his boxers himself, San fetched some of his own pyjamas as it was no secret that Hongjoong loved the feeling over oversized clothes that belonged to other members especially when poorly.

Seonghwa had Hongjoong sit down on the floor of their shower, leaning him against the wall and adjusting the water so it was merely lukewarm. Hongjoong sighed in relief when the water hit his skin, cooling him down. Seonghwa took great care to lather his hair in shampoo and then conditioner, holding his hand over Hongjoong’s eyes so that no soap could get into his eyes. But now he had a shivering Hongjoong on his hands.

“Can you turn up the temperature, hyung?”, Hongjoong said in a shy voice, the formality slipping from his tongue without conscious thought, “I know I said I was hot earlier but I’m freezing right now.” Seonghwa turned the water a bit warmer. “A bit more, please”, Hongjoong mumbled and Seonghwa bit his lip. “The hot water might make you feel worse, Joongie.”

“Please?” He really couldn’t resist the man. Turning the water even hotter, he washed out the last of the conditioner, then got Hongjoong wrapped into a fluffy towel with San’s help. The heat didn’t seem to have been the best idea, Hongjoong looked faint and was swaying dizzily in San’s arms.

“I need to sit down”, he whispered, knees buckling. San and Seonghwa urgently lowered him down on the bathmat, holding him steady. Without any warning, Hongjoong retched and leaned over into the shower to get sick again. “Shit”, San said.

“Shit”, Seonghwa echoed. There went the medicine and the food. During a small respite they got Hongjoong situated next to the toilet just in time for his rice and soup to re-appear. San gently rubbed Hongjoong’s back, while Seonghwa focused on getting the shower clean.

Finally the gagging tempered off and San tenderly wiped Hongjoong’s mouth with a bit of toilet paper. “It’s okay, hyung”, he whispered soothingly.

“It’s not”, Hongjoong suddenly yelled, then his voice was choked by sobs, “I’m sorry. It’s not okay. I feel terrible, I’m so nauseous that it feels like I will never be okay again, my stomach is still killing me and I’m so fucking embarrassed. I threw up in front of the most important people at KQ. Don’t tell me ‘it’s okay’ because it is not! I just want to feel better and for this day to never have happened. What will … what will they think of me? I can’t show my face there again, I …”

“Joongie, sweetheart, take a deep breath, you will make yourself sick again”, Seonghwa said, kneeling down next to them. Too late. The sobbing had set off another wave of sickness and Seonghwa could only cringe at the sound of liquid hitting liquid and the broken off crying. San looked at him, eyes wild with uncertainty. “I’m sorry, hyung”, he said, sounding close to tears himself.

“It’s not your fault, Sannie”, Seonghwa said, focusing on the smaller problem at hand, “why don’t you get some puppy-cuddles?” It’s what they called Yunho’s comforting bear hugs. San nodded and fled from the room.

Seonghwa held back Hongjoong’s hair till he was just dry heaving, then pulled him into his arms, reaching out with one hand to flush the toilet. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset San-ah”, Hongjoong whispered. “I know, sweetheart. Try to calm down, okay? I can only imagine how you must be feeling right now, but please remember that Gyu-uk-hyung nor any of the others are angry at you. They are worried and just want the best for you. They all know it was that managers fault.”

“Still”, Hongjoong sniffled.

“I know”, Seonghwa whispered.

It was later that evening when Hongjoong woke up again. After his breakdown in the bathroom he had fallen asleep fast and Seonghwa had placed him back on the couch, where he kept on sleeping peacefully. Now his face was flushed and his hair messed up from how he had been tossing and turning. None of them had the heart to wake him up before, but now he rolled off the couch, clutching his stomach.

“Hyung, there is a …”, Mingi said but Hongjoong ran out of the door, slamming the bathroom door shut behind himself.

“… trash bin right here”, Mingi finished weakly. “Should we check on him?”

“NO! Uh, no”, Seonghwa said quickly and when the others raised their eyebrows at his outburst he added, “he’s probably already thoroughly embarrassed, let him handle himself for now.”

The waited for Hongjoong to return, using the break from needing to be quiet to stretch and move around. Then Seonghwa’s phone dinged.

From Hongjoong (20:38):

Can you get me new pyjamas?

Seonghwa winced, and at the others’ glances, explained: “I think Joongie threw up on himself, he asked for fresh pyjamas.” It was a believable excuse if any. So he got up and quickly got Hongjoong the requested items, while the members stared at his retreating back.

“Joongie, sweetheart, I got your clothes”, Seonghwa said, knocking on the bathroom door. The shower was running and he didn’t receive an answer.

Debating with himself if he should just enter, Seonghwa’s worry won out and he pushed the luckily unlocked door open. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw the previously empty washing machine running and the windows were open, though not quite able to hide the smell.

“It’s Seonghwa” he announced, “I brought you pyjamas, sweetheart.”

“Thank you”, came a small whisper from the shower, as Hongjoong turned the water off. The bathroom was designed in such a way that one member was able to take a shower while others used the sink at the same time so he didn’t see Hongjoong undressed when it wasn’t necessary. He reached out his hand for a towel and dried himself off.

“Hwa?”, he asked in a small voice, “I’m really dizzy, I don’t want to slip, can you…?”

“Of course”, Seonghwa breathed and jumped across the room to hold onto Hongjoong before he fainted or fell. He helped Hongjoong into the new sleep clothes, then led him to sit on the closed toilet seat, never letting go of him. He pressed his toothbrush, already loaded with toothpaste, in his hand. “Brush, then I think it’s time for bed.”

Hongjoong nodded but didn’t stick the toothbrush in his mouth yet. “Are Wooyoungie and Sang-ah home? Is Wooyoungie okay?”

“He’s fine”, Seonghwa said, readying his own toothbrush. He just wanted to go to bed as well. “A manager-noona just texted me a few minutes ago, they are having a sleepover with Changbinnie, and the rest of Stray Kids, I think. Don’t worry, they don’t know why.”

Hongjoong nodded and finally brushed his teeth.

A few minutes later the two of them were cuddled up together on Seonghwa’s bed. Hongjoong laid on his side closer to the edge of the bed, Shiber who had been abandoned on the bed that morning cradled in his arms. Seonghwa had climbed over him to lie pressed to the wall, holding Hongjoong in his arms.

“Sleep, Joongie, you will feel better.”

Seonghwa hated being wrong. Right now he would give everything to be right. It was only three hours later that he was pulled from sleep by the sounds of retching. He sat up, wide awake immediately, and turned on his phone’s flashlight to see Hongjoong getting sick into the bucket – again. Seonghwa was surprised there was even anything left in him for his stomach to reject but he was wrong about that too.

“Oh, fuck”, Hongjoong moaned and before Seonghwa could react he jumped up, cradling the bucket to his chest to run out of the room. A different door slammed shut further in the apartment and from the high-pitched squeak it was clear it was the bathroom door.

Fuck indeed. Seonghwa allowed himself a short moment to wallow in self-pity before he – shivering now that his personal heater and the blanket were gone – got up to check on his best friend, who apparently was now getting sick from both ends at the same time. At that thought Seonghwa’s self-pity vanished – it could be worse right now, he could be in Hongjoong’s position.

It felt like a deja-vu as he knocked on the bathroom door. But this time he got a panicked: “Don’t come in.”

“Joongie, I’m going to call a manager to drive us to the ER. You’re losing too many fluids.”

He was only answered by a retch.

He walked to the living room, sinking down on the sofa, and turned off the flashlight of his phone. Then he called their favourite - now lead – manager-hyung.

“Seonghwa-yah? What do you need? How is Hongjoong-ah?”, the manager asked, already wide awake and moving, the voice of a woman in the background. Seonghwa didn’t have the strength to feel bad for taking him away from his family at a time like this.

“Hyung, can you drive us to the ER? Joongie is really sick, he has been getting sick a lot and he has diarrhoea too. I’m afraid he’s losing too many fluids, he already was dizzy a few times.”

“Of course, hold on tight. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

Not wanting to just sit around feeling useless, Seonghwa got up again and started the electric kettle before gathering up the hot water bottle from their room. He didn’t know how bad Hongjoong’s fever was and if the warmth would make it worse, he just knew that Hongjoong needed some comfort and something to help with the pain. Then, nervous energy drumming through his body, he wrote a note for any of the members who might find them missing.

Hongjoong finally stumbled out of the bathroom one arm pressed against his stomach and with the other holding himself up by the walls, just as the manager texted he was there. Seonghwa instantly wrapped his arm around Hongjoong’s waist to steady him, scared he would collapse. The younger man looked incredibly unsteady and he was bent over slightly, stomach cramping badly.

“Come on, let’s get you some help. I brought you a hot water bottle.”

Hongjoong just nodded and leaned more on Seonghwa. Apparently hot water bottles were a good bargaining tool.

“Are you not going to argue?”, Seonghwa asked in a teasing tone to hide his own anxiety.

“I feel too sick. My stomach really hurts. And I just want to feel better. I don’t look forward to it, especially the car ride, but I’d do anything right now to not feel like my stomach is tearing itself apart.”

“Alright. The manager is here already, do you think you can walk or do you want me to carry you?”

Hongjoong bit his lip then shyly looked up. “I don’t know how much longer I can walk.” “Alright”, Seonghwa replied softly, handed his dongsaeng the hot water bottle and knelt down to lift Hongjoong’s knees and back. Hongjoong tiredly rested his head on Seonghwa’s shoulder and adjusted the heat against his stomach.

Their manager met them at the door, having come up the elevator to help Seonghwa with the captain. He took on look at them and sighed. “Do you need help?”, he asked. Seonghwa shook his head and followed their manager into the elevator, careful to keep holding tightly onto his precious burden.

They quickly reached the car, too tired and worried to talk much. The manager opened the back door for them and Seonghwa helped Hongjoong settle in an upright position. The seat belt was fastened over the plastic heat so that Hongjoong didn’t have to hold onto it. Then Seonghwa slipped into the other side and reached over to link Hongjoong’s hand with his.

“I’d like to go in first, get them to set up a private room”, their manager-hyung said, watching them carefully through the mirror but also driving a bit faster than allowed, “I don’t want to encounter fans or, God forbid, sasaengs with Joong-ah in this state.”

Seonghwa nodded and made to reply, when Hongjoong tucked at his sleeve, hand pressed over his mouth. As fast as possible Seonghwa reached his hand to the front passenger door, pulling out the roll of plastic bags they kept in there mostly for snack wraps or bottles but also just in case for the members (Hongjoong and Yunho) who were more susceptible to motion sickness. Seonghwa quickly ripped off a bag, letting the roll fall into the footrest, shook the bag open and thrusted it in Hongjoong’s direction just in time. He cringed as the bag got fuller and heavier in his hands but he knew now was not the time for squeamishness.

Suddenly Hongjoong’s voice broke through the silence, a panicked tone that Seonghwa had never heard before. “Hyungs?”

“What is it, Joong-ah?”, the manager asked, clearly torn between turning around to check on his protegee and getting to the ER as soon as possible. Seonghwa stroked Hongjoong’s back, then followed his horrified gaze.

He first hadn’t seen it, looking away from Hongjoong while he was throwing up, but now he could clearly understand why Hongjoong looked so freaked out. There was blood in the bag, mixed with water and bile. Seonghwa could only stare in shock for a moment as he saw the speck of blood also covering Hongjoong’s pale lips but then his senses kicked in.

“Joongie is throwing up blood”, he cried, not able to keep the alarm out of his voice.

The manager didn’t respond, just stepped hard on the gas pedal.

They arrived at the ER a few minutes later. Their manager-hyung had thrown all worry into the wind and ordered Seonghwa to carry Hongjoong inside as fast as possibly, running ahead to inform the hospital staff of their situation.

As soon as Seonghwa entered the ER, Hongjoong hiding his face in his shoulder and not having enough strength anymore to keep up his body tension so he just kind of hung there, a nurse showed them to a private room. The manager was inside already speaking with a female doctor, while Seonghwa gently laid the captain on the hospital bed.

“Good evening, Hongjoong-ssi, Seonghwa-ssi”, the doctor greeted them, “your hyung already informed me of what happened. Hongjoong-ssi, have you experienced any other symptoms except nausea, vomiting and diarrhoea?”

“My throat hurts”, Hongjoong replied quietly, eyes closed against the bright light, “stomach hurts really badly.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Is there a specific place where your stomach hurts most?”

“Right side.” The doctor seemed to come to a conclusion.

“Alright. Did you ever have appendicitis?”, she asked. Hongjoong shook his head.

“Okay, I’m going to press on your stomach to test for it. Maybe you can hold your hyung’s hand? It might hurt quite a bit.”

Blindly Hongjoong reached out and Seonghwa grasped his hand. If Seonghwa could forget any moments of his life he would want it to be what happened in the next few minutes. The sounds Hongjoong made when the doctor pressed on his stomach and then let go were inhumane, fitting more to a wounded animal than their strong captain. They were only broken when Hongjoong broke off crying to heave up a bit off blood, painting his pale face red. He looked like a twisted version of Snow White, Seonghwa thought hysterically, face as pale as snow, hair as dark as ebony and lips as red as blood. Then he passed out, face scrunched up in agony going slack. Seonghwa and the manager could only stare.

The spell was broken by the doctor announcing: “I’m pretty confident in my diagnosis but I need a CT to confirm it. We’ll bring him there now and start the surgery right after, if possible. You can see him after. Don’t worry, it’s a regular surgery, it has it’s risks sure, but we perform it daily. It is best for him that he is unconscious now, the pain can be very bad as you saw.”

Seonghwa felt tears drip down his cheeks as he was faced with the worst possible outcome of that day. How had a nasty stomach flu become a life-threatening disease that required surgery? He clutched Hongjoong’s hand tightly, leaning over him to press a kiss against his forehead. “I’ll see you on the other side, Joongie. Don’t be scared”, he mumbled. Why did this feel like a goodbye?

An orderly wheeled the bed out of the room and Seonghwa collapsed into the managers arms, crying hysterically.

The manager informed the other managers while Seonghwa - once his sobbing had turned into silent tears dripping down his face - called Jongho. He knew that Yunho would panic, as would San, and Mingi probably wouldn’t hear his phone.

“Seonghwa-hyung?”, the maknae greeted him sleepily, “what’s going on?”

“Don’t panic”, Seonghwa said, wiping at his leaking eyes.

“That is not how you prevent that. What’s going on? Why are you calling? I’m literally in the room next to yours.”

“I’m not. Listen, manager-hyung and I brought Joongie to the ER. He has appendicitis, very likely, and needs surgery.”

“Shit. Shit. Fuck.”

“I feel you. Can you tell the others, carefully? You can’t all come to the hospital, the staff is already overwhelmed with keeping Hongjoong’s and my identity private, but I wanted to let you know. Please try to get some sleep anyhow.”

“Get some sle… yes, hyung.”

“Don’t worry too much, Jongho-yah.”

“You too.”

Seonghwa chuckled bitterly and then decided he needed somebody he could talk to on a different level, someone who also was a hyung responsible for a group. Without thinking he dialled Lee Know’s number.

“Seonghwa-hyung? Why are you calling me in the middle of the night?”, Minho greeted, sounding equal parts confused and annoyed but mostly sleepy, “don’t worry about your ducklings. They, Changbinnie, Lixie and Innie are up to something untoward, I’m sure. Nothing unusual.”

To his embarrassment Seonghwa burst into tears again.

“Seonghwa-hyung?” Minho suddenly sounded a lot more awake. “What’s happened? Should I get Wooyoung or Yeosang on the phone? Or Channie-hyung?”

Seonghwa shook his head, then when he remembered that Lee Know couldn’t see him he mumbled: “Joongie is really sick. We’re at the hospital right now, he’s having surgery.”

“I’m so sorry”, Minho said, concern clear in his voice. Seonghwa would never understand how Stay or anybody else could call this kind man cold-hearted. “Do you know what is wrong?”

“Appendicitis, most likely”, Seonghwa replied quietly, quickly, “Minho, it was so scary, he was so sick all day and in so much pain and then he started throwing up blood and passed out screaming when the doctor checked him over. I’ve never seen him look so terrible, it was like a horror movie. I should have realised earlier that something was going on, he told me he wasn’t well, he never does that. I should…” Damn, he was crying again.

Minho interrupted him. “It’s not your fault, Seonghwa-hyung. You couldn’t know, you’re not a doctor. Don’t blame yourself. I’m sure he will be fine. Appendectomies are normal, harmless surgeries. Hell, I had it as a child and I turned out fine.”

Seonghwa couldn’t help but quip: “Well, mostly.”

“Hey, there”, Minho said and laughed lightly but sobered up quickly again, “do you want me to tell your kids?”

“No, please don’t. Wooyoungie is stressed out enough, I’ll tell them in the morning.”

“Alright, listen, are you alone?”

“A manager is here with me.”

“I will be there in half an hour, hold on tight.”

“Wait, Minho”, Seonghwa stopped him, “the hospital is having trouble keeping me and Hongjoong from the public’s eye. I don’t think they would appreciate another idol storming in. Besides, I don’t think JYP would approve.”

“Fuck JYP. You need a friend. Sit tight and text me where exactly you are.”

True to his words, Minho arrived thirty minutes later. Seonghwa didn’t have the guts to inform the hospital of his upcoming arrival and the manager was still on the phone. He still was so relieved that Minho was coming, even though he was close with their staff and especially their manager-hyungs and manager-noonas. Yet sometimes they acted like they were the team’s parents and it was kind of unhelpful. But having a same-aged friend there, who understood his worry for his captain on a different level, someone who didn’t get paid (even though he knew the managers liked their jobs) to be with him, was so important for him right now. And it sure did help that Minho was an incredibly funny person and a force to be reckoned with when it concerned his friends.

So when Lee Know entered the room, Seonghwa couldn’t help but burst out laughing. The other man was wearing the rattiest pair of sweatpants he probably had, a hoodie stained with something and a half-full bottle of … soju in his hand. The hood of his sweater was pulled over his head, unbrushed hair spilling out.

“Well, if this isn’t my favourite fellow 98’ liner?”, Minho greeted cheekily, “I promised to come, here I am. I think I can pull off the homeless alcoholic quite well, don’t you?”

Seonghwa smiled and let Minho wrap him in a warm hug. “What if somebody had recognized you?”, he hissed, not wanting his friend to get in trouble or danger.

“Ah, nobody looks at a stumbling drunk at the hospital late at night. They just hope they don’t puke on their shoes.”

“Fair enough”, Seonghwa shrugged, “do I want to know what that stain is?” he mustered the grey hoodie and the brown stain in disgust.

Minho scratched his head. “Well, this is Changbinnie’s hoodie, so I don’t really know or want to know either.” He pulled the offending item over his head and lounged into the seat next to Seonghwa, purposely manspreading so he was touching Seonghwa comfortingly.

The manager-hyung came over from the other side of the private waiting room, apparently having finished dealing with NDA’s and logistics.

“Lee Know-ssi”, he greeted, a pinched look on his face, “please tell me you have JYP’s permission to be here.”

“Yes”, Lee Know said smoothly, “does that make you feel better?”

“Are you lying to me?”

“Yep”, Minho said nonchalantly.

“Oh God”, the manager groaned, and fell onto the seat on the other side of Seonghwa, “let me keep my job after this.”

Having Minho there was a relief. He kept up a steady stream of conversation and comfort and when Seonghwa started to fall asleep, he even managed to catch a few minutes on the man’s lap, stretched out over the uncomfortable chairs. He didn’t even comment on the obvious tear stains on his knees.

It took close to four hours until a nurse struck her head through the door. She looked at Minho in a mixture of disgust and confusion, then announced: “Hongjoong-ssi’s surgery is over and everything went well. You can come up to his room with me right now, the doctor will meet you there.”

“Thank you”, Seonghwa breathed out, bowing deeply.

“This is where I leave”, Minho said, grabbing onto Seonghwa’s arm and looking heartful sorry. “I need to get back before they realise I left and … well, I was never here after all.”

“Thank you, Minho”, Seonghwa said earnestly and wrapped him in a hug, “thank you so much.” Lee Know put on his costume again and slipped out the door.

He and their manager-hyung followed the nurse up through what seemed to be mostly staff hallways until they arrived at a room, the nurse ushering them in. Hongjoong was lying asleep on the bed, several tubes running into his body. He had been changed into a hospital gown and the blood had been wiped off his face. He looked much better than he had all day. The silence of the room was filled by the sound of a heart monitor beeping.

“He’s still sleeping off the anaesthesia. Don’t be afraid of the IV’s, we have him on several medications and on saline for fluids. He’s currently receiving pain medication, antiemetics, antidiarrheals and fever reducers”, the doctor said, arriving behind them.

Seonghwa slumped down on the chair next to the bed, taking Hongjoong’s smaller hand in his, running his thumb in comforting circles over it.

“The surgery went well. He had appendicitis, as expected. The blood was explained by a Mallory-Weiss tear in his oesophagus, caused by the excessive and violent vomiting. We put in some clips through an EDG-procedure, so the bleeding has stopped now. That’s why it took so long. He will be fine in about two weeks, he just needs to rest, get his strength back up and not use his stomach muscles too much. The surgery side needs to heal.”

“Thank you”, the manager said and they both bowed. “When can he go home? I won’t take him home against medical advice but a hospital is always dangerous with sasaengs and fans.”

“We don’t recommend going home until after at least twenty-four hours after surgery. We will see how he feels when he wakes up and how much the medication helps. I’ll leave you to it, you can stay as long as you want. Call if anything changes and when he wakes up. It might not be until much later, his body is exhausted. Don’t hesitate to call if you have any concerns, we value the privacy and well-being of our patients.”

She walked out, leaving Seonghwa and the manager alone. There was a single sofa in the room and now that the excitement was over Seonghwa felt exhaustion tear at his whole being. The manager of course noticed, he was their favourite after all, and pulled him to lie down on it, his head on the manager’s lap.

“Sleep, Seonghwa-yah”, the manager whispered, “you did well.” He drifted off to the feeling of the managers hands playing with his hair.

Hongjoong slept quite long into the morning, the nurses had already brought in an early lunch for Seonghwa and a manager-noona who had switched ‘shifts’ with the lead manager, when his eyes finally fluttered open. The manager waved her phone at Seonghwa, showing that she would inform the others.

“What…?”, Hongjoong slurred, eyes half-open, “Hwa?”

“Hey, Joongie”, Seonghwa said, abandoning his phone on the night table to race to his dongsaengs side, lacing their fingers together and pressing the call button. “Why don’t you open your pretty eyes for me?”

“Bright”, Hongjoong groaned but followed the instruction. A few seconds later he looked up at Seonghwa. He looked incredibly cute like that, face scrunched up in discomfort and tiredness, yawning widely and eyes only half open to blink blearily up at him.

“Welcome to the land of the living”, Seonghwa greeted him, brushing his hair out of his eyes with the hand that wasn’t holding Hongjoong’s. “How are you feeling?”

“Hm, tired”, Hongjoong mumbled, “Can I sleep just a few minutes more? I promise I’ll get up after that.”

Seonghwa couldn’t help but laugh and he received an adorable pout in response. “You can sleep all you want later”, he promised, then added: “You’re in hospital, sweetheart. Do you remember what happened?”

“Hospital?”, Hongjoong whispered, eyes suddenly wide and before Seonghwa could stop him, he tried to get up. He didn’t get very far, his face nearly immediately took on a grimace of pain and he groaned. “Why does my stomach hurt?”

Seonghwa gave him an encouraging smile, realising that he would never get Hongjoong to remember on his own. Apparently he was useless after anaesthesia. “You had surgery, Joongie. Your appendix didn’t like you anymore, you were really sick yesterday. Do you remember?”

“I threw up, I think? Wait, I remember Gyu-uk-nim was there? That can’t be right?”

“Sorry. Gyu-uk-hyung was there. In fact he’s very worried about you, since manager-hyung told him that you were in hospital.”

“Gyu-uk-hyung? Since when do we call him that?”

“Since yesterday, as I said, he’s really worried. He fired the head manager because he forced you to come to the meeting.” Shit, that was the wrong thing to say. Hongjoong instantly froze before his face became even more panicked.

“Oh, right. Oh, God, the meeting”, Hongjoong whispered and hid his face behind his free hand, pulling the other out of Seonghwa’s hand to do the same, “I threw up in front of the important executives and the CEO?”

“Yes, but as I said, they all are very worried and you just had surgery. No one blames you. Do you want me to read all the get-well-soon messages from everyone now or later? I think it’s about close to twenty messages, excluding the team, the managers, Edenary, Maddox and the CEO.”

Hongjoong turned red, blushing spreading all over his face down to his slightly exposed chest which was visible since the blanket had slipped when he moved.

They were saved from the slight awkwardness by a new doctor arriving. He had already introduced himself that morning to the manager while Seonghwa had been asleep as well.

“It’s good to see you awake, Hongjoong-ssi”, he said and moved over to check on the heart monitor. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired”, Hongjoong reinstated.

“Anything else? Nausea, stomach pain?”

“Mhm, I am queasy and my stomach still hurts a bit.”

“That are probably some aftereffects of the anaesthesia and the surgery. Your friend already informed you of what happened?”

Hongjoong nodded, his now greasy dark hair getting even more mussed up. The doctor came to stand next to the bed and with Hongjoong’s permission he lifted the covers and the hospital gown to look at the incision. There was quite some bruising around the area and the blue stitches were standing out quite a bit, but it didn’t seem inflamed and wasn’t warm to the touch when the doctor carefully touched it with his gloved hands.

“That looks really good, I think we can discharge you this evening. For now I’d like you to try eating a bit of Jell-O”, the doctor said, “the nurses will bring it by soon, alright? Do you need anything else?”

Hongjoong shook his head. “Thank you, doctor.”

Shortly after the doctor had left, a nurse brought in two sorts of Jell-O for Hongjoong to choose from. Hongjoong had asked Seonghwa to help him raise the head of the bed, so he could sit up against it, claiming he felt better. But now his face turned pale again at the sight of the food. “I don’t want to eat”, he stated.

“Nauseous?”, the nurse asked and he nodded. “Well, we stopped the antiemetic medication some time ago but I think you might just be experiencing side-effects of the anaesthesia and hunger. Please try to eat, you might find that you are actually hungry.”

“Please, Joongie”, Seonghwa said, not above begging. His dongsaeng hadn’t kept anything down for over twenty-four hours now, he needed nutrition and he needed it now.

Slowly Hongjoong spooned mouthful after mouthful of the wiggly substance into his mouth, looking like swallowing got harder and harder each bite. He had neared the bottom of the cup after long ten minutes of eating with Seonghwa encouraging him, stroking his hair, keeping up small talk, and retelling the story of Lee Know’s arrival. Then he swallowed harshly and held the cup out at Seonghwa, eyes shiny. “I really can’t eat anymore.”

Taking pity on him, Seonghwa placed the cup on the night table and continued massaging Hongjoong’s scalp, hoping to sooth him into sleep. The younger man had curled up into himself while trying not to move his hurting incision side, looking wax and there were droplets of sweat running down his face. Seonghwa really hoped he would fall asleep soon and be able to continue sleeping through the discomfort, not wanting Hongjoong to suffer more.

Yet, maybe twenty minutes after Hongjoong had finished eating he opened his eyes and looked up at Seonghwa. His voice sounded weak and defeated as he whispered: “I feel really sick. I don’t … I don’t wanna throw up, it will hurt so badly.”

Seonghwa watched him stifle a gag into his pillow and hurriedly pushed the call button. If Hongjoong really had to be sick, they needed help. The manager-noona rushed over and said: “Seonghwa-yah, please help Hongjoongie sit up, if he needs to vomit, holding a pillow against his stomach might help the pain.”

Seonghwa managed to squeeze himself behind Hongjoong, holding him up with an arm around his chest, the other pressing the pillow against his stomach. Hongjoong moved his arms to hold the pillow himself, leaving Seonghwa’s other hand free to hold the kidney dish under Hongjoong’s mouth just in time to catch the first wave of vomit. The pillow did seem to help, though Hongjoong was still shaking in pain. The manager-noona rubbed Hongjoong’s shoulder comfortingly. Hongjoong seemed to be done shorty after, his stomach still empty except for small sips of water and the Jell-O.

The nurse came back into the room just then and taking in the scene, she paged the doctor and began cleaning up.

Hongjoong still sat cradling the pillow but slightly slumped back against Seonghwa’s chest between his legs. He looked so so small and tired it was painful to watch.

“How did you know the pillow would help, noona?”, Seonghwa asked genuinely interested. She shrugged. “After my first pregnancy I had a bad cough that hurt the C-section side. The gynaecologist recommended using a pillow then and I figured it would help with vomiting too.” “Ah, thank you.”

The doctor arrived quickly, looking worried. “He shouldn’t still be throwing up, yes, the anaesthesia might cause some nausea but the surgery was long enough ago that it shouldn’t be an issue. There might be something else wrong.”

Just then the manager-noona groaned. “I think I know what is wrong”, she said, voice full of compassion, “Jongho-yah just texted me. Apparently Yunho-yah threw up this morning and San-ah did just now. Their team members.” She added as the doctor looked on bemused. “Since appendicitis isn’t contagious as far as I know, I think they all have either the stomach flu or food poisoning. Probably the flu though, considering that they could have easily gotten infected by being close with Hongjoong-ah the past few days.”

Hongjoong pressed himself even closer into Seonghwa’s chest, probably blaming himself. Seonghwa just kissed his temples and cuddled him close.

The doctor nodded thoughtfully. “That would be a good explanation. I want to push fluids and give him an antiemetic again, then as soon as a CT-machine is free I still want to check that nothing else is wrong.”

The manager-noona tried to get Seonghwa to go home while Hongjoong was taken to the CT but he refused. He needed to be with his captain. Good thing he stayed, as the doctor returned a crying Hongjoong, who was wrapped around the pillow to stop the pain and hide his face. The doctor himself was fuming.

“I’m really sorry”, he apologized repeatedly, “there was a young woman who was working on the CT tract, she tried to take some photos of him. We fired her on the spot, took her phone so she can’t post the pictures and are waiting for the police to show up to take her into custody. Again, I am so sorry that happened but I can assure you that no information was leaked. I asked that the police speak with you so you can take up any legal actions you wish.”

For a moment, all Seonghwa could feel was anger, incredible hot anger at the sasaeng who had misused her position and the captain’s vulnerability for herself. He took a few deep breaths knowing that - while definitely warranted - the anger wasn’t helpful. So he just sat down next to Hongjoong, pulling the small man onto his lap, letting him cry.

Why couldn’t Hongjoong have a fucking break?

“Thank you”, the manager said sounding all business until her voice softened as she asked about Hongjoong’s well-being.

“It truly just seems to be the stomach flu, it really is unfortunate that this happened simultaneously”, the doctor said. Unfortunate, indeed.

Suddenly Hongjoong said something, speaking up the first time since he was returned to them. “What was that, sweetheart?”, Seonghwa asked, running his hand up and down Hongjoong’s back to help him calm down.

“I wanna go home.”

Seonghwa looked up at the doctor who nodded. “I don’t see why not. His incision is healing well and the scan was good. Since he already has the flu he won’t get infected worse by your sick members. I would just like to run another bag of fluids while we process the discharge.”

“Hear that, Joongie? We can go home soon.”

Soon turned to be another two hours and another hiccup with nausea but by evening they had bundled Hongjoong into blankets and moved him down to the car in a wheelchair, using the staff exit to hide him from unfriendly eyes. Hongjoong probably would have resisted the wheelchair normally but he was too exhausted.

Another twenty minutes later they arrived home and Seonghwa carried their captain into the dorm where they were greeted by an exhausted Jongho. “Mingi-hyung is sick too now but he and Yunho-hyung are sleeping in his room. Manager-hyung is with Sannie-hyung”, he informed them, sounding like he was about to fall asleep himself. Seonghwa could understand him too well, he was tired to the bone himself.

“Go to sleep, Jongho-yah, you did well.”

He laid down Hongjoong on his bed, the man having fallen asleep in the car. Careful not to wake him up, Seonghwa switched out the pillow the hospital had allowed them to take with for the drive with Shiber, cooing at the cute sight. He stepped into the kitchen to grab some water and food to find that they apparently had used the good mixing bowls for … not their intended use. Great.

When he entered Mingi’s room he indeed found Mingi and Yunho curled up together on the bed that was way two small for the two tall men. He adjusted the blankets to cover them shoulder to foot, felt their foreheads to find that if they were running fevers they were low ones and tried not to stumble over the mixing bowls on his way out.

San was lying on Yunho’s bed in their room, talking quietly with the manager-hyung. Seonghwa leaned over to hug him when San made grabby hands towards him as soon as he opened the door. “Hey, Sannie, how are you feeling?”

“Sick, hyung”, he pouted, “how is Hongjoongie-hyung?”

“I’m sorry to hear, love. Joongie is asleep, he will be fine soon. Focus on yourself, okay?”

“Hm”, San hummed into his shoulder, not having let go of his hyung in his misery. “How is Jongho?”

“He’s fine, too.”

“’kay.”
 

Just like that San fell asleep in Seonghwa’s arms and he careful lowered the younger man into a comfy sleeping position. He kissed his forehead than as stealthily as possible left the room, their manager-hyung following him.

“I heard what happened at the hospital, I’ll make sure that sasaeng gets fair punishment. Is Joongie really okay?”

“He… not right now, I think, but he will push through. A lot had happened the past two days.” Wow, had it really been only forty-eight hours? To Seonghwa it felt like a lot longer but then again he had only slept maybe three hours of them.

“Yeah”, the manager sighed, “how are you doing, Seonghwa-yah? Don’t tell me you’re fine.”

If he were honest, Seonghwa was about to do that but he knew the manager would know immediately if he lied.

“I don’t know. I’m tired and exhausted. I just wanna sleep. I hope I don’t get sick while the others still are. Or maybe I should get sick soon, I don’t want Wooyoungie having to stay way for so long.”

Then his heart dropped into his stomach. Fuck, he had completely forgotten about Wooyoung and Yeosang.

Their manager-hyung seemed to be able to see the panic swelling up in Seonghwa’s chest. “Let’s hope you don’t get sick at all. Period. But don’t worry”, he soothed, “I called Sang-ah a few hours ago. They are fine. I decided to let Lee Know-ssi tell them about Hongjoongie and Stray Kids are letting them stay over for as long as needed. I think they are enjoying their time there, Bang Chan-ssi texted me just forty minutes or so ago that they are having a lot of fun trying to sing Stray Kid’s songs while Stray Kid’s sing yours.”

“Alright.” Seonghwa took a deep breath to sooth his own anxiety.

“How do you have Bang Chan-hyung’s number?”

“Well, he texted me. I think he got mine from their manager though.”

“You have the number of Stray Kids’ manager?”

“Sure. A lot of idol group managers, actually. We have a bi-monthly meeting to complain about hard-working, never-sleeping and crazy idols that we somehow still love to death. It’s honestly way better than therapy.”

“You… never mind, I’m to tired to figure out if you are serious or not. I want to call Sang-ah though nevertheless.”

“Do that and then go to sleep please.”

“Yes, appa-hyung”, Seonghwa joked and with his heart a bit less heavy went to the living room to not disturb anybody, already dialling Yeosang’s number.

“Seonghwa-hyung”, Yeosang said, sounding relieved. “How is Hongjoong-hyung?”

Seonghwa smiled when he heard Wooyoung yell the lyrics to what he recognized to be MANIAC in the background. “Exhausted and tired, right now he is asleep, he was still a bit nauseous earlier. Who other than Hongjoong would be so unlucky to get the stomach flu and appendicitis at the same time? He will be fine though. How are you holding up?”

“I’m glad to hear that”, Yeosang said. There was a small pause and Seonghwa was about to ask what was wrong, when Yeosang spoke again. “Is it wrong that I feel bad that I couldn’t help? Don’t get me wrong, hyung, I know Wooyoungie needs me but I wish I could help you.”

“Oh, Sang-ah, it’s alright”, Seonghwa replied calmly, “you did the best thing you could. You protected your friend, helped him through his fears and helped us not having to worry about you two. Don’t worry about us, we did just fine. Just be glad that you two will hopefully avoid this flu.”

“That I am”, Yeosang replied, “thank you, hyung.”

“Of course, Sang-ah. Now, show Stray Kids what an amazing singer you are, I’m sure you can go as deep as Felix if you try.”

“I will. Good night, hyung.”

“Good night.”

Exhausted beyond reason Seonghwa didn’t even change his clothes (he still was wearing yesterday’s pyjamas anyways) before he fell into bed, hugging Hongjoong tightly and falling asleep.

Of course Seonghwa was not able to escape the flu, as much as he wished he would be. He woke up nauseous the next morning, spending most of the afternoon in the bathroom. The rest of the members started feeling better by then. It seemed to really just be a twenty-four hour bug, except for Hongjoong who apparently had a lot of bad luck and well, the appendicitis probably hadn’t helped. But he hadn’t gotten sick since the hospital. The only one spared was their strong maknae.

So, a few days later, Wooyoung and Yeosang returned home. They had talked over the phone frequently and Wooyoung had tried to apologize so often that Hongjoong had threatened to have a lengthy talk in his room if he kept if up. Ever since Wooyoung had stopped, though he probably still felt bad.

Nevertheless, he practically jumped into each members arms once he opened the door to the apartment and then ended up cuddling the rest of the evening with Hongjoong. The captain was still in a bit of pain and would not be able to partake in their schedules for the next days and in dance practice for at least another three weeks. But they were fine.

They were together again and that was all that counted.