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Chapter Text

Jae

All I had wanted and planned to do when I arrived in Seoul a month ago, was to just relax and decompress before I started my new internship with one of the big entertainment companies, JYP, as a stylist for a group. I have no clue what group yet as I am to have a meeting with the internship manager and CEO of JYP in a couple of weeks. However, two days ago I was talked into attending this idol gala with my brother and his band members by my loving Halmeoni. She seems to think that it would be a great way to mingle with others who I could be dressing in the future and I’m more than positive she hopes I find a boyfriend. 

So now, I am standing in this luxury hotel room in downtown Seoul waiting for the hair and makeup artists to arrive that will work their magic to make me look presentable for said gala. I finish hanging up my gown and lay out the accessories that I chose to compliment it. I chose a silver sequined, ruched, off the shoulder dress with a slit up to my thigh. My brother's company had wanted me to wear a gown from the same designer that the guys would be wearing but I told Hongjoong that one of the stipulations of my agreeing to attend was if I could wear the gown that I had designed.

Once I was sure the dress was hung where it wouldn’t get wrinkled, I made my way to stand just in front of the floor to ceiling windows to stare out at the view before me, overlooking the Han River. It was such a breathtaking view and I found myself getting lost in watching the cherry blossom flowers floating down to land gracefully on the beautiful water below. April has always been my favorite time to come home and visit for this reason.

A knock pulls me from my thoughts as I hear the hair and makeup artists announcing their arrival, walking through the hotel door. By the time I walk out of the bedroom, they have already started setting their stations up in the sitting room. My brother’s manager, Jin, walks in last and carefully explains the schedule to me as a hairstylist pulls me into a chair to begin working.

“Hair and makeup have an hour and a half to get you ready and then you will have another half hour to get into your dress and accessories. After that you will be escorted over to the Ateez dressing room down the hall to gather with the guys before we head down for the red carpet.”

“Wait, wait. I’m also walking the red carpet with them? I thought I was just attending the gala as their guest?” I ask, a little taken aback. My mind is running wild, stupid anxiety, maybe I should have decided to wear a designer dress instead of my own or maybe I should have just sat this one out. I let out a harsh breath and now I am nervous thinking about how my design will be perceived by the public or how I will be perceived. I am not ready for that yet, my mind yells that I still want to be a ghost for a little while longer.

I start to get lost in my thoughts until I hear Jin call my name softly, “Jae, you are going to do just fine, you are with your brother and the rest of the members. The red carpet is just a way to control the paparazzi since so many idols and celebs will be attending.” He gives me a reassuring smile.

I am not used to all of this like Joong, and the guys are. They are the idols; I laugh to myself. The closest I have come to being in the public eye has been walking in to attend a concert or two over the years accompanied by staff, but Atiny never really noticed me as they were trying to get glimpses of the members.

Jin has been a family friend for years, he also stepped in and helped Halmeoni raise Joong and I after our parents passed away. Jin was the one who encouraged Joong to audition and pursue his dream to become a trainee before ultimately debuting with the other members forming Ateez. We think of him as family more than just my brother’s manager. “And for what it’s worth, your dress is a fantastic choice.”

Of course, he could sense my apprehension. I smile and nod, “Thank you Jin. I appreciate your words.”

An hour and a half later, my hair has been curled and swept into a half up, half down style, some jewels for decoration, and my makeup is done with a smokey eye and red lip. I stare at my reflection in the mirror in amazement because I cannot remember the last time, I was lost for words by my appearance but damn those stylists know what they are doing.

As I am fastening the strap on my last shoe, the stylist that helped me dress, lets me know that they are ready to head to the Ateez dressing room. We make it out into the corridor and make our way through the dimly lit hallway; I am more than positive the floor has been booked out for us for the night. We stop in front of the last door on the left, where I can already hear the ruckus coming from inside.

It sounds like Wooyoung is yelling and laughing at the same time. I cannot help the smile that spreads on my face. I didn’t know that I missed these guys this much. They had all taken a liking to me pretty easily and took to treating me like their little sister. Even Jungho who is the only one younger than I am, even if it is just by a couple of months.

The door opens to manager Jin shaking his head at whatever craziness is going on inside. He steps aside and ushers us inside. As I step further inside the sitting room, everything becomes extremely quiet.

I am met with wide eyes from all the members, minus Hongjoong, who now also has a wide smirk. Then all at once I hear a mixture of shouts from everyone.

“Holy shit! Jae, is that you!”

“Kim Jae!”

“Oh shit, it is Jae!” Mingi yells looking at the other members.

“Jae! What are you doing here?” Seonghwa asks, making his way towards me and grabbing me up in a tight hug.

“Hi, Hwa! Joongie didn’t tell you guys I was attending the ceremony with you?” I ask, feeling squashed in Seonghwas arms.

“You knew she was coming and didn’t say a damn word, Joong!?” San asked, looking at Hongjoong with a surprised look.

“I thought it would be a good surprise for you guys. Plus, I wasn’t sure if Jae was going to agree to attending tonight.” Joong shoots me a smirk.

Everyone makes their way to me one at a time to get their hugs, while I am telling them how much I missed them even though I had talked to each one of them when I first made it back home a couple of days ago. Wooyoung grabs my hand, spins me around while whistling, and checks out my outfit.

“Wow, Jae, this dress looks amazing on you! Who knew that you could clean up so well,” Wooyoung teased, sticking his tongue between his teeth, and jumping to get away from the swat I was trying to give him.

“Oh, screw you, Woo, I could say the same thing about you!” I glare at him and then smile sweetly, “But thank you, I designed this for my final project for my last semester of university.”

With his hauntingly low voice, Yeosang says, “Wow, you designed this? You did amazing with the design, Jae. This gown is stunning.” 

“Awe, thank you Yeosang. I must have done a good job because I passed and was able to graduate with my degree,” I say and twirl around showing the dress off.

We all continue to talk amongst each other, I fill them in on the internship that I have accepted, and how it was living in the States the past four years while attending uni.

Wooyoung's phone rings beside me, where I am sitting on the couch, with a video call, he looks down at it and tells no one in particular that it is Binnie. I looked confused at Yunho, who is sitting to my right, and he tells me, “Changbin, from Stray Kids.” I nod.

Hongjoong comes to sit beside me, leaning into my personal space and asks, “Remember you met them shortly after our debut and before you left for the states? Wow, did you not keep up with the K-pop industry while living in New York?”

“Oh, stop. I know the group you are talking about; I just might need a refresher on who is who. It’s been so long; I don’t know if I would recognize them now. Plus, I am sure they don’t remember me either.” I shove him away from me. “And to answer your question, yes and no, I still listened to K-pop, I just wasn’t fully immersed in every member of the groups I listened to. I was extremely busy, remember?”

Wooyoung turns the phone around towards the group and tells us to say hello to Bin and Felix. The guys all smile and start to say their hellos, asking when they will be at the event, and a handful of other questions. Changbin and Felix are smiling and waving, answering the questions as fast as they can. When they look over to answer Hongjong's question, they both pause and stare, making eye contact with me. Felix's mouth slightly falls open in a “oh” and Changbins eyes widen with his smile. I can feel the blush creeping onto my cheeks as I smile and say hello. Felix clears his throat and the rumble from his baritone voice saying hello back gives me goosebumps and I can’t help but look down and my hands. 

Mingi steps in front of me, looking into the camera, while talking to them about some after party. I don’t know if Mingi did it on purpose or not, but I am grateful anyway. Wow, I remember the Stray Kids members being cute when they first debuted but holy hell they have grown up.

I feel eyes on me, I look up to Hongjoong and Seonghwa smirking at me. “What? Why are you two looking at me like that?”

“Oh, you know why. We saw you blushing when Bin and Lix made eye contact with you,” Seonghwa says with a chuckle.

Now all eight members are staring at me with smirks on their faces. Wooyoung says his goodbyes, hanging up the call and I already know that they are not going to let my blushing because of Changbin and Felix go. Ugh, I swear it’s like having eight annoying brothers instead of just one. But I can also play this game too, I smile to myself.

“So, what if I am blushing, how do you expect me to act when two extremely handsome men are staring at me like that?” I try to make it seem like no big deal and their gazes didn’t have that big of an effect on me and exaggerate some of my words that I know will push my brother’s buttons.

“Oh hell no. Nope, nope, nope. We are not playing this game; they are like brothers to us. You can’t be talking like that about them, Jae,” Joong whines at me, trying to give me a stern look in between shaking his head no.

“Why not, didn’t halmeoni want me to come to this event in the hopes of catching the eye of some “handsome young man?”” I retort, lifting my eyebrow and smirking at him. “I mean, I could always set my sights on someone…” I trail off to look around the room and grin devilishly when I spot Wooyoung about to stuff a strawberry in his mouth. “Like Wooyoung,” I say, turning back to my brother, blinking at him innocently.

I hear Wooyoung choke and cough behind me, I turn back to find his eyes wide looking from me to his “captain” and back to me like he had seen a ghost. 

“Wait, what are we talking about?” Woo asks, confused. The rest of Ateez are watching us like they would a tennis match, gazes moving back and forth. They already know what is about to happen.

I smile, standing, and walk towards Wooyoung, “Oh you know, I was just about to tell Joongie about our undying love for each other, Woo.”

It takes Wooyoung a few seconds to catch on to my little game and if anyone likes to poke at Hongjoong like I do, it’s definitely Wooyoung. He is just as much of a brat as I am. He squares his shoulders as he puts his arm around me, leaning into me. “Oh yeah, Joongie, I couldn’t wait to tell you about my undying love for your sister. I will take such good care of her,” he says sweetly.

The guys try but fail to keep themselves from busting out laughing at the scowl on Hongjong's face. Woo and I just stand there, staring at him with innocent eyes while he stews. Next thing I know he launches himself at Wooyoung. However, Wooyoung is nimble and able to dodge him while cackling loudly. 

The room erupts into more laughter as Seonghwa grabs Joong and brings him back to the couch, trying his best to calm him while keeping his laughing to a minimum. I know he really isn’t upset but it is still fun to mess with him.

Hongjoong just glares at me while the other members are still snickering, and Woo is hiding behind San. “You two are not funny!” He gives me and Wooyoung a pointed look. 

I place my hand over my mouth trying hard not to full on laugh at my brother. “They seem to think I am pretty funny,” I say pointing to the rest of the members. I make my way to Hongjoong and lay my head on his shoulder, blinking up at him, giving my best puppy dog eyes. “You love me so much, Joongie.”

Before Hongjoong can say anything more, Jin comes in to tell us that it is time to head down for the red-carpet events.

Lucky for us, we didn't have a long car ride over to the venue and staff got us a 15-passenger van instead of splitting us up. Jungho, Mingi, Yunho, and Yeosang climb in first. Then it’s San, myself, Wooyoung, Seonghwa, and Hongjoong. 

I sit between San and Wooyoung as we begin the drive. Wooyoung must feel how anxious I am becoming as the drive goes on. He grabs my hand and smiles at me, “How excited are you for this internship that you will be starting?”

I am grateful for the distraction and answer him, “I am excited but also a little nervous, the fashion style in the west can be different from the styles here. But I am excited to see how I can merge them together in my designs. Hopefully I will be able to work with some celebrity or idols as a stylist or even be picked up by a brand to design for someday.”

“I am sure that your career will take off in whatever way you want it too, Jae.” Hongjoong winks at me.

We pulled up to the venue and I take a deep breath to gather myself. Jin turns around from the front passenger seat, “Alright everyone, you all know what to do and where the points are. Jae just stay near Hongjoong or staff. When you stop to pose for pictures let them get a group photo of the members and then you can step in to get a photo with them.”

“Oh, I don’t need to take photos if it is easier for everyone,” I tell Jin.

“Nonsense, we want photos with you in them and Atiny will love to finally be able to see Joong's sister after all these years.” Jin states. I nod my understanding.

The door slides open, and as soon as it is, I can hear the clicking and see the flashes of the cameras going off. 

Seonghwa steps out first, waving and bowing towards the crowd. Wooyoung, San, and Hongjoong step out next following the actions of Seonghwa. Mingi gestures for me to go before the rest of them and Joong holds his hand out to help me out of the van. 

I stepped out smiling and gave a few bows towards the crowd. The rest of the guys follow us out of the van and give their greetings. Staff steps up to guide us toward the first stop. Hongjoong offers me his arm before we follow the event staff towards the first photography and interview area.

After going through the motions of the first few stops, I begin feeling more confident. The staff, photographers, interviewers, and fans were all extremely pleasant and supportive towards the guys and myself. As we were walking to the next area, I could hear laughing and cheering behind me. 

I turn around to see another group walking up to the first stop, some were following one member almost acting as if they were his personal guards, while the others walked behind them laughing. I stopped to watch the group interact with the fans and interviewers, smiling at their playful energy. 

Hongjoong let go of my arm so that he and the members could pose for a few group photos. As I waited back with the staff, I let my gaze fall back to the group behind us. That’s when my gaze was met with the same eyes that I saw on the video call Wooyoung received. Felix was studying me and then once he knew he had caught my attention, he smiled and nodded my way. I blushed again and looked away as Hongjoong called out to me to join them for the next photo.

“If I had to guess, I’d say that Yongbokkie thinks you are beautiful,” Hongjoong whispers to me as I get situated in the middle of the group between him and Yeosang.

I let out a puff of air through my nose in disbelief, “I guess Yongbok is his Korean name? And I highly doubt that he’s probably just curious as to who I am and if I am one of you alls dates.” 

I chanced a look back over to Felix to see that he and their tallest member are gazing my way. Wow, how is every member in that group drop dead gorgeous? I mean my brothers members were also devastatingly handsome, but I guess I didn’t see them that way since I thought of them as family, but these Stray Kids members were just… wow.

Felix has a soft but domineering look, his blonde hair swept back with a few strands framing his face, pink plump cupid's bow making his lips look that much more inviting, and his all-black tailored suit fitting him exceptionally well that it showed off his lean muscular frame. 

Then there was his band mate, the tallest member, wearing a black fitted suit as well but with a white shirt under his jacket, with longer black hair also perfectly styled and pushed back behind his ears with just a few strands laying on his forehead, and fuck me if his plump lips also didn’t have me wanting to see if they were as soft as they looked.

I shake my head and refocus on the interviewer in front of us. 

“Captain… Hongjoong, and who is this lovely young lady with you all tonight?” By this time Stray Kids had made their way over within earshot while they waited for their turn.

Hongjoong glances at me with a smile before he turns his attention back to the reporters and interviewers. “This is my younger sister, Kim Jae. She just returned from North America, where she has completed her studies and degree.”

This prompts the interviewer to turn to me with interest. “Oh Jae, it is so nice to be able to finally meet Hongjoongs sister in person. How did you enjoy your time overseas and what did you study?”

I look at Jin for confirmation that I can answer the questions since I wasn’t exactly prepared to be interviewed, he nods. 

“Thank you, it is so nice to be here with you all as well. I enjoyed my time in New York very much, it was an amazing experience to live and attend school there. I studied fashion and design.”

“How exciting, any plans to work in the industry now that you are back in Seoul,” another reporter asks.

Hongjoong gives me a look that means to keep the answer simple and short since we are almost out of time before we must move on. I sweetly shrug my shoulders and say, “We will see what the future holds for me.”

Staff steps in to usher us towards the last stop before we enter the venue for cocktail hour. We all bow and step off the platform area, I wrap my arm in Yeosang’s waiting arm as we walk away. 

I can’t help but chance another glance back to watch the other group step onto the platform for their interview, making eye contact once again with Felix. I smile and nod my head to him before I turn my attention back towards the direction we are walking. I take a deep breath; tonight is going to be interesting to say the least.

Chapter Text

Felix

My mind is still stuck on who that woman with Ateez was, she was stunning. She looked familiar to me, but I couldn’t place where I felt like I knew her from. “Hey Bin, who was that sitting with Yunho and Hongjoong? I can’t place her but I feel like I know her from somewhere.”

“I’m not sure, man. But damn it she is beautiful; I don’t remember Woo mentioning any of them dating anyone.”

“Yeah, she is stunning. I don’t recall anything being mentioned either about any of them dating.”

We walked back into Chris’ room, after ending the call with Wooyoung, where we were getting ready for the event. The rest of Stray Kids were scattered around the huge suite getting hair and makeup done or waiting for the others to finish getting ready. I sit down next to Hyunjin on one of the couches pulling my phone out to scroll through Tik Tok for a bit while we wait. Not really paying any attention to the short videos as my mind still tries to place why that woman looked so familiar to me.

“Did you guys get to talk to Wooyoung,” Hyunjin asks without taking his eyes off the game he is playing on his phone.

“Yeah, they were already ready and just waiting for staff to let them know when to head out to the venue. Hey, have you heard if any of them were bringing a date tonight?”

Hyunjin looks at me questioningly, “Date? No, not that I know of. Atiny might lose it if any of them were to bring a date. Why?”

I sigh leaning back into the couch more, “I was just curious because there was a woman there with them all dressed up.”

“Hmm, did you get her name?”

“No, but she looked familiar to me, I’m just not sure where I have seen her before,” I say.

Chan walks over to us and sits in the armchair opposite of us, catching the last bit of the conversation. “Doesn’t Hongjoong have a younger sister?”

Changbin sits down on the other armchair next to Chan. “Does he?” He thinks for a bit, “Yeah, I think he does but didn’t she move to the states a few years ago? I guess we will find out tonight since it seems like she will be at the event with them.”

“Yeah, that’s true.” I say, scrolling mindlessly through my phone. 

“Alright, we should take some pictures for our socials before we leave, yeah?” Chan says, slapping his legs while standing from his chair. He really is such a dad; I laugh to myself. We all stand as Chan starts giving out instructions to the other members who are all now done getting ready.

Our head manager, Hyuk, comes in to gather us and let us know that we will be walking the red carpet after Ateez and that it is time to head to the cars. We gather our things, walking out of the hotel room, heading towards the service elevators that will take us to the underground garage. I can hear Chan behind us counting to make sure that we are all accounted for. We finally make it to the cars, splitting ourselves between the two, and leave the hotel.

Minho

We finally arrive at the Entertainer Idol Gala, it’s a gathering where artists, celebrities, and idols can network and mingle together before the award season starts. I don’t mind this event too much since it is meant as a gathering for everyone in the entertainment industry to get together and network. Yes, we have photo ops and red carpet events beforehand but once inside we can relax and mingle.

We as a group step in front of the first set of photographers and I swear every time we have an event to attend, it takes several minutes for my eyes to adjust to the onslaught of camera flashes. The temporary blindness is an experience that I will probably never get used to. Once I can finally see where we are heading, I notice that our friends, the members of Ateez, are ahead of us.

We stop and pose for the photographers and do our usual aegyo for the camera, each one of us has a signature pose according to Stay. I smirk as I do my usual two-finger poke as if I am piercing the air and look around to my other members. Most are staring directly at the cameras in front of us, but I notice that Felix seems to be distracted and looking over to where Ateez is standing. Hmm, it’s a bit unusual for him to be distracted when we are at an event, but I don’t think anything else of it and complete Jisung's heart for the next photo, giggling as the photographers swoon over our public display of affection. Stay loves to see our flirting and speculate on if we are an official couple, they are all correct by the way.

As we continue to the next area, I keep an eye on Felix because something is definitely off with him, not that Stay, the interviewers, or photographers would notice but I notice the smallest things about my members. I overhear him whispering to Hyunjin as we are getting settled for another photo, “That’s who I was talking about earlier,” he gestures with his head towards the staff and a young woman with the Ateez members. Hyunjin looks over discreetly at first but then does a double take. Both of their stares linger, and I see the woman turn our way. She blushes slightly and turns back around, and I am sure it is because she has caught my two members gazing at her.

I clear my throat to get them to snap out of the trance that they both seem to be in, “Hey, focus you two, we have one more stop before we head inside.”

Both Felix and Hyunjin avert their gazes back and slightly bow saying sorry as we step off the platform and head over to wait our turn at the last stop for our short interview. The closer we get I get a better view of our friends and the woman who has seemed to capture the attention of several of my members, as I have now noticed Bin sneaking looks along with Hyunjin and Felix.

We wait quietly, listening to the interviewer’s question for Hongjoong, “Captain… Hongjoong, and who is this lovely young lady with you all tonight?” I see Bin, Felix, and Hyunjin perk up at the question and I chuckle to myself. They must really want to know who this beauty’s name is or they just want to know if she is any one of their dates.

“This is my younger sister, Kim Jae. She just returned from North America, where she completed her studies and degree,” Hongjoong answers and gives his sister a proud smile. I can also almost see the literal relief from the way the three members' shoulders relax. Hmm, that is interesting, I think to myself. While Jisung and I have our special relationship, we as a group are in a relationship together as well. I mean we have all had our little flings or crushes here and there outside of what we eight share but I have never noticed more than one member having such an interest in the same person at the same time.  

The interview finishes and I watch Jae slip her arm into Yeosang's as they step off the platform and make their way towards the entrance of the venue. She moves so elegantly, almost like she is gliding, why am I so mesmerized by watching her walk? I shake my head and chastise myself, get your shit together, Lee Minho! Jisung lifts his brow in a questioning look at me. I shake my head and look forward, ready to get this interview done.

“Bang Chan-ssi, how does it feel to be back home after finishing your Maniac world tour?” The photographers keep snapping photos as the interviewer from one of the many Kpop online tabloids asks her question.

Chan looks around at the members before he answers, “We had an amazing time traveling internationally to see Stay from all over. They really gave us a lot of energy and seemed to enjoy the show that we put on. It’s nice to be back home now since we were overseas for a couple of months.”

Another interviewer chimes in asking, “Now that the tour is over, can we expect another comeback soon or will you all take some time off?”

The microphone is handed to me to answer this question, we always try to split the question up between the members to answer. “Actually, we will be taking some time off for vacations and rest.”

“But don’t worry, we won’t be gone too long,” Felix follows up my answer. 

We like to keep Stay on their toes, waiting for any info of a new comeback. As much as Stay will be ready for a new comeback and tour dates, they also seem to love it when we take some time off to go on vacation, rest, and recharge. 

“Changbin-ssi, is there anyone here tonight that you are hoping to collaborate with in the future?”

Changbin reaches for the microphone in Felix’s hand. “There are so many talented artists here tonight that we would absolutely love to collaborate with, it’s just a matter of working out the details.” Changbin smiles as he hands the microphone to Jisung because his vague answer has the interviewers whispering amongst themselves wondering who Bin could have been talking about.

We have time for one last question and it’s from the Dispatch interviewer. “Han-ssi, when will you finally tell us if Lee Know is actually your husband like so many Stay seem to think?” We have a little joke floating back and forth between Dispatch and us. They always ask about our “relationship” and we always play up the fan service. Of course no one outside of our group, managers, and close family and friends know that it’s all true.

“We will send you an official photo to use in January when you announce the new couple,” Jisung answers laughing as the interviewers and photographers laugh along with him knowing the “joke” well.

Hyuk announces that there will be no more questions and that we will pose for a couple more photos before we head into the gala. I am once again blinded by the light coming from the cameras. Jisung grabs my arm and starts walking towards the doors leading into the event center. 

“I’ll never get used to those damn camera flashes,” I tell Jisung.

“I know, jagi.” Han answers chuckling because I will always complain about them. 

Upon entering the Gala, our group splits up, some heading towards the bar, some towards other colleagues and friends that are attending tonight, and the table we are assigned to. Felix, Hyunjin, and Changbin end up in a conversation with Wooyoung, San, Seongwha, Soobin, and Yeonjun. 

Jisung, Jeongin, and I decide to grab a drink from the bar before we start to mingle with the other attendees. Jeongin and I order some whiskey to sip on while Jisung orders something sweet since he still can’t handle his alcohol as well as some of us. I think it’s cute how his face will scrunch up when he does decide to take a swig of one of our harder liquors. Which is right now as he decides he wants to taste Jeongin's drink. His puckered face has Jeongin and I laughing.

“Hyung, why would you want a drink if you already know you wouldn’t like it?”

“Because, Jeongin-ah what if my taste buds changed?”

I laugh, “Jagi, you drank some of that liquor Channie hyung had in his office and made the same face last week.”

“So, that was different,” Jisung pouts before washing the bourbon taste out of his mouth with his strawberry daiquiri.

“So, was it just me or was Felix a little distracted while on the red carpet,” Jeongin asks as we come to stand in front of one of the pedestal tables.

“You noticed that too, Innie-ah,” I reply. “Yeah, he, Jin, and Bin were all a bit distracted and I think she was the reason,” nodding my head towards where Hongjoong is now gracefully stealing the mystery woman from Yeosang's arm before walking towards a few producers we know.

Jisung and Jeongin follow my eyes and both of them say wow in unison. I can’t help but chuckle as their cheeks blush with a light pink color from my reaction to them. “It seems you two get why they were distracted.”

“Wow, she’s really stunning. Yeah, I can see why they were a bit distracted,” Jeongin says while not taking his eyes off her.

What’s funny is, we haven’t even had a conversation with this woman and yet six of us, that I know of, are affected by her. Yes, myself included. But it is more than her looks that draw me in. She carries this air about her, like she’s nervous because she isn’t used to being in this type of environment but the longer I observe her, she pushes that nervousness down and steals herself and stands confidently in her power.  Every once in a while you can see her let her composure slip as she speaks animatedly with another woman.

“I don’t know what it is that she is saying but whatever it is I want to hear all about it,” Jisung says in awe. He steals a quick look at me and our maknae, checking to see our reaction, to which we both smile and nod our heads. We may all be together romantically but we aren’t in a closed relationship, we just like to check with each other when another person catches our eye.

Jeongin takes another sip of his bourbon before speaking, “Yeah, I don’t know what it is but watching her, she just seems different from others that are used to being in our world. I don’t know if that makes sense.”

I nod my head, taking a sip of my bourbon as well. “No, I follow what you’re saying, Innie-ah. Maybe we can chat with her at some point tonight. I’m sure that we will get our chance since we usually end up hanging out with the members from Ateez by the end of the evening.”

Chapter Text

Jae

“Oh wow, they really went all out for this, didn’t they,” is all I can manage to ask as we walk into a huge open room that has seating areas set up around the perimeter, throw pillows on the couches, small tables with lit candles, round pedestal tables scattered in the middle of the room, with dim purple and white lighting.

I gaze around the room, taking in the beauty of everything and I hear Yeosang chuckle. “I take it this is the first time you have been to an event like this?” He grabs two flutes of champagne from a waiter passing by, handing me one, clinking his glass with mine before taking a sip.

Sipping the chilled champagne from the crystal flute, I notice the burn in my cheeks due to embarrassment, I nod and reply, “Yeah, I had events in Uni to attend but they definitely did not have the budget for décor like they obviously had for tonight,” I laugh.

Yeosang full on laughs at me and shakes his head. “Well then you are going to really be surprised when you attend the bigger award shows at the end of the year. This is nothing compared to MAMA.”

“Who said I will be attending those events,” I ask laughing. “I have not agreed to anything more than this one event.”

“Oh, I am sure that you will be attending other events between Hongjoong and the rest of us, we like having you with us. And you’re going to have to get used to these events, especially if you plan to work in this industry after your internship is over,” Yeosang states matter of factly and then he smiles at me.

I nod and smile at him, it warms my heart that all the guys have always been very supportive of me and my work. I feel a hand on my elbow, Hongjoong tells Yeosang that he needs to borrow me for a minute. Hongjoong starts leading me away, telling me that he wants me to meet some of his producer friends.

As we near a small group of people, I begin to feel the nerves from earlier bubbling up, Joong feels my arm tense in his and discreetly pats my forearm in reassurance. He always knows how to get me to push forward into my confidence and I do. Smiling, Joong greets the group and starts introducing me to the three men. I smile and say my hellos to the group. The last man that I greet, Dea-Hyun, introduces me to his fiancé Sumi, she looks to be about my age at 24 or 25. I of course can’t help but notice her long black gown made with the smoothest velvet I have ever seen. I extend my hand and bow to say hello.

“Hello, it is very nice to meet you, Sumi. Oh, my goodness, you are gorgeous, and I love your dress,” I rush out a little embarrassed. “It’s from the Dior fall/winter line, isn’t it? I loved that show and I have dreamed about seeing this particular piece up close.”

“Yes, it is. How did you know what line it came from?” Sumi’s lips curve in surprise.

“Oh, well, I just graduated with a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree and with a minor in Fashion Merchandising. I must have watched that show a hundred times to study how the fabric shifts and sways when the models walk. Seeing this velvet in person is so much better than I could have imagined, and you wear this piece so well. It compliments you exquisitely.” I knew I was rambling, but I couldn't help myself.

“Wow, you really seem to know what you are talking about. I love fashion myself, although I am not as well versed in the mechanics of creating the pieces,” she says and then looks me up and down, not in a rude way. When Sumi’s eyes connect with mine once more, she smiles and asks, “What designer are you wearing tonight? I don’t recognize it and it is a beautiful piece.”

“I designed and constructed it for my final project,” I smile widely, feeling extremely proud of myself.

“Wait… this is your design?” Her eyes widened, she’s definitely impressed. “Do you design for private clients or are you under a contract for a brand?”

“I am not under a contract to design for any specific brands at the moment; I actually start an internship in a few weeks with JYP. As for private clients, I have not but am open to the idea. I hope to either work with celebrities, Idols, or with a big designer someday.” I can feel my cheeks becoming numb because of how big my smile is, it’s nice when I find others who I can talk fashion with.

“Well, I am always looking for new pieces to wear to these events and I would LOVE for you to design something for me. How about we exchange contact info, I will be in touch with you, and it would be nice to have another girl friend to talk with.” She smiles and grasps my arm, giving it a friendly squeeze. I also like the idea of having a friend here in Seoul. Sumi and I exchange our info and she hugs me before she and her fiancé excuse themselves. It’s refreshing to feel that I have found a genuine friend here.

Hongjoong is still talking with the other two men about music industry things that I know nothing about, still I listen intently to him, admiring how passionate he is about his love for his chosen career. Next thing I know Wooyoung is popping up between me and Joong with a wide smile. He wraps his arm around my back and tells Hongjoong that he is stealing me, Joong just smiles and shakes his head saying okay and that he will meet us at our table for dinner. I say my goodbyes and turn to follow Woo to wherever he is leading me now.

“By the way, you’re welcome,” he grins at me.

“Why should I thank you, Woo?” I peer up at him with a quizzical look.

“Because I saved you from being bored back there, duh. And…. I want to reintroduce you to some of my friends.” He’s terrible at trying to hide his smirk.

I give a half-suppressed laugh and roll my eyes as we continue walking, “Um, I was not bored back there, Woo...and who would want to meet me? I don’t know anyone other than you eight from the K-pop world.”

Wooyoung just keeps that stupid smirk on his face and shrugs his shoulders. I shake my head looking forward and I realize that he is leading me towards a group of men standing with San and Seonghwa. I glance around the group of seven men and I meet the same rich molasses eyes that I have seemed to find all day. Then I realize that the friends Wooyoung was talking about are Changbin, Felix, the tall one, who I don’t know the name of, and two other men I vaguely recognize.

Suddenly I feel my anxiety start to creep in on me. Why the hell am I nervous? It’s not the idol thing… It’s them… especially Felix. I feel like I have a swarm of butterflies in my stomach fighting to get out. Why am I crushing this hard on three men that I barely know anything about? I mean, yeah, they are fucking hot with a capital H, but I am not some horny teenager. I mean horny yes, inexperienced, no.

There’s still some champagne in my glass. Should I shoot what’s left? Will they see? Fuck it– I tip it back in one gulp and ditch the glass on a tray passing by. I’m pretty sure no one noticed. Wrong, oh I am so wrong. Felix’s eyes are still on me and given that smug smirk he has, showing off his sharp teeth… he definitely saw. Heat creeps up my neck and blooms on my cheeks. Is it from being caught or is it the alcohol thrumming in my veins? I choose to think the latter because then whatever is passing between us would have me melting into this ridiculously expensive rug.

San slides his arm across my shoulder as I step up beside him and he smiles down at me. San is always quick to tease me about how vertically challenged I am. I stand at 5’3, 5’3 and a quarter with heels on. And what’s worse is I am shorter than Joong and he is the shortest member of his group. “There you are short stuff.”

Wooyoung takes over before I retort, clearing his voice. “Jae, these are some of our friends from the industry.” He points towards the two men that stand by Seonghwa, “This is Choi Soobin and Choi Yeonjun, they are members of Tomorrow x Together.”

“Ah, TXT, I know some of your music. It’s nice to meet you both,” I say as I give a bow and shake their hands.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Jae.” Soobin smiles.

“It’s nice to meet Hongjoong's sister, even if she only knows some of our music,” Yeonjun teases as he smiles and bows.

The group chuckles at Yeonjun's teasing. Wooyoung then turns me towards the three men standing opposite of us. “Jae, this is Seo Changbin, Lee Felix, and Hwang Hyunjin. You saw Bin and Lix on the video call earlier. Remember that was when you couldn’t stop blushing for some reason…”

I swear to all that is holy that I am going to murder these “brothers” of mine, Wooyoung will be the first to go. I close my eyes for a brief moment because I really want to smack Woo on the back of the head, but I know that would be inappropriate right now. I hear a loud smack and Wooyoung yelling, “Aish, what the hell San!”

I open my eyes to see Woo rubbing the back of his neck and catch San wink at me. I turn my gaze towards the three guys, who are trying not to chuckle at the spectacle in front of them, and greet them. “It is nice to finally meet you all, well I guess meet you again since we have technically met years ago,” I bow and reach out my hand to shake each one of their hands.

Felix chuckles, “Yes, I suppose you are right, that was when we were filming for Kingdom. It’s a pleasure to see you again, Jae,” he says as he takes my hand in his and places a gentle kiss above my knuckles. My breath stalls. If he notices, he doesn’t say anything but I can see that same sinful smirk from earlier. My heart skips a literal beat.

It takes everything in me to make sure that I do not visibly shudder at the sound of his voice, I swear he made it deeper than he sounded on the video call earlier just to see if it would have an effect on me. He smiles as if he knows the internal struggle I am dealing with right now.

Changbin takes half a step forward and bows, taking my hand, with a wide smile. “Hello Jae, it really is nice to see you again. I hope you are having a nice night even though you have to deal with this one,” pointing to Wooyoung.

Wooyoung feigns mock offense at Changbin's words, “Wow, Bin, I thought I was your bestest friend!” Seonghwa rolls his eyes and San just laughs, shrugging like he is used to this type of conversation between them two.

I laugh, “Thank you for your concern, Changbin. It’s hard to deal with these knuckleheads but I have had years of practice.” And now Wooyoung is acting even more of his dramatic self causing Seonghwa to come stand beside him to remind him that we are still at an event.

But I am not able to pay too much more attention to his dramatics because now I am gazing at one of the most ethereal looking human beings that I have ever seen. Hyunjin takes my hand delicately in his hand and bows. “Hello Jae, you look lovely tonight.”

Oh, he is smooth. I laugh, mostly because I want the floor to open up and swallow me whole at this point. “Thank you Hyunjin. You look nice as well.” I can’t help but stare into Hyunjin's kind eyes. I know I could lose myself in them if given the chance. Hyunjin’s smile is lethal and I file that away for later emotional damage.

Yunho and Mingi join our group to let us know that it is time to head into the dining area for dinner. I whisper to Wooyoung that I am going to run to the powder room to freshen up before dinner. Getting our table number from Woo, I politely excuse myself from the group. The powder room is empty. The marble counter top feels cool against my palms and a breath that I hadn’t realized I was holding escapes. My lipstick on the other hand is barely holding on. 

I am still dumbfounded as to why those three men are affecting me this much. It was true that I have not had a relationship since I broke up with the last asshole but even when I was dating, I was never affected like this from one person, let alone three.

It was pep talk time… Jae come on, you have to get your head out of your ass. You are out there acting like a fangirl whose favorite idol is giving them fan service. These guys deal with that on the daily, they don’t need that from you either. Plus, you are not usually this desperate. Time to unleash your bad bitch side!

Okay, pep talk was done, it was time to join the guys for dinner. After washing my hands, I reapply my lipstick and take several calming breaths. I’ll fake it till I make it, right? My new found demeanor is almost ruined as I jump when I feel a hand placed on my back, before noticing it was Hongjoong. “Sheesh, Joong, you scared the hell out of me!”

“Sorry Jae, I got to the table and Wooyoung told me that you had come to the powder room, so I came to check on you and escort you to the table. And I know it has been a while since you have been around all of this.” He says while gesturing around the room. “So, how was the pep talk?”

“Yeah, I’m good Joongie. You know me way too well, I sometimes hate it. Yes, I did give myself a pep talk and so far, I feel better. Shall we get to dinner?”

We make our way into the dining area and I follow Hongjoong to our table. The table is only big enough to fit us nine, disappointment creeps in. I guess I was hoping that Stray Kids would be sitting with us. However, I do notice that one of the tables next to us has Soobin and Yeonjun, they smile and wave towards us. The table on the opposite side of ours has Stray Kids sitting there and I have to look down at my lap to hide the smile that forms on my face. Changbin looks up and smiles widely when he sees me and waves, causing a few more pairs of eyes to look our way.

Dinner goes well, with lots of  talking and laughter, catching up after having been a while since I could see all eight of them together. Wooyoung and San keep turning to talk to Changbin and some of the other Stray Kids members, always ending up laughing hard enough that I am sure if San didn’t have an arm around Woo, he would fall out of his seat. I met another member from TXT, Beomgyu, he is a couple years younger than me and he is absolutely the sweetest person ever.

The award portion of the night starts and it is all a very laid back process. We listen intently as the hosts give their speeches and present the awards. Mostly the awards are given to those in the industry who are retiring. As fast as it began all the awards and speeches were given and over with. “Ladies and Gentlemen please feel free to enjoy the open bar and don’t forget the dance floor is open. Enjoy the rest of the evening and thank you for coming,” the host states before walking off the stage and music begins to play in the background.

The guests have all made their way around the room to talk with others and some even made their way to the dance floor. Our table has now been joined by Changbin, Felix, Hyunjin, Soobin, Yeonjun, Beomgyu, and a few other Stray Kids members that I have learned are Han, Minho, and Jeongin. A waiter stops to fill my wine glass as another starts to clear our plates from the table. Yunho leans over the table with a shot of Soju in his hand, “Jae, are you really going to drink that wine or are you ready for the good stuff?”

With a devious chuckle, I ask Yunho, “Do you really want a repeat of the last time we drank Soju together, Yunho? Because if I remember correctly you tapped out first and had to have Jongho help you to bed.” The table erupts into laughter as Yunho pouts while I take the shot glass from his hand. “Try to keep up,” I smirk as I take the shot, keeping eye contact with Yunho.

I sit straight up gasping for air as my fucking alarm blares from my phone. Heart still pounding in my ears, I look around. Where the fuck am I? I start to feel my body, looking down, I’m in my pajamas in my hotel room. How the fuck did I get back here?! A groan forces itself out of my throat because of the sunlight filtering in from the open blinds. I plop back onto my pillows. A loud groan escapes- followed by a knock. “Room Service.” Ugh. This hangover already sucks and I have only been awake for five seconds. 

I begrudgingly throw my legs over the side of the bed to go answer the door. The attendant is too smiley this early in the morning, it’s eleven btw, I thank them for bringing me sustenance and begin to shut the door. Before I get my door shut, Joong and Hwa get my attention stating that they are coming to eat brunch with me.

I sit there and think, trying to remember what happened last night. The events come back to me, after Yunho gave me the shot glass filled with soju, we all started drinking. There were so many shots, talking, laughing, and some dancing. I remember dancing with Felix, then Hyunjin, and Changbin joined us. Then we drank some more until Seonghwa and Jongho helped us out to the van, Yunho and I using each other to stand. 

Well shit, I guess Yunho did keep up.

Chapter Text

Jae

It’s been three days since the gala and I haven’t been able to get the guys from Stray Kids out of my head. My brothers keep giving me shit about my ‘crush,’ and as the days pass by— it’s becoming harder and harder to deny. Yup, I’m definitely crushing on those men— some more than others, but honestly, each of them has their own appeal. 

Sitting cross-legged on my bed I’m reading over my intern contract. Or, should I say, trying to read through it and failing. I’ve been on the second page for what feels like an eternity. I can’t seem to get myself to focus on anything other than the fact that I will be interning at the same company as the boy group whose members haunt my thoughts. I’m usually strong-headed, able to push past nerves or crushes when I need to focus. So why does it feel like the butterflies in my stomach might claw their way out at the thought of running into any member in JYP’s halls?

As I dwell on the fluttering, there is a knock at my open door. I look up into Joong's eyes as he stands in the doorway. “Hey, Joongie, got everything packed?” 

“Yeah, we’re pretty much ready to head out. But…” Hongjoong trails off, watching me as I get up and walk towards him.

“Joong, I will be perfectly fine here. You and the guys have your own career commitments to attend to and I have mine. Now, go to Japan and leave me alone,” I say, laughing as I push him towards the living room. “Plus this is like the billionth time that you have asked me if I’d be okay.” I appreciate that all of the guys and the company have allowed me to stay here until I can get my own living situation settled. But a girl needs her space too.

“I know you’re independent, Jae, and you can handle yourself. I just feel bad leaving you here in Seoul, especially when Halmeoni lives far away from us.” He sighs and picks up his bag that was sitting on the couch. The rest of the guys wait in the living room for him to head down to the cars.

“Hongjoong, she will be fine. She might even enjoy the quiet while we are gone,” Yunho says reassuringly while sending me a wink. The rest of the guys all nod in agreement.

“Plus, if she does get lonely… I’m sure Felix, Changbin, or one of the Stray Kids members would be more than happy to keep her company,” Wooyoung says, smirking in my direction. I scoff and roll my eyes at him, causing a few of the members to chuckle. Of course, Wooyoung can tell that mentioning them gets under my skin. My cheeks betray me with a blush that I did not give permission to stain my cheeks. Being the brat that he is, he likes to tease me.

“Okay…” I clap my hands together, getting everyone’s attention. “It’s time for you guys to leave. Go have fun in Japan, make Atiny scream and lose their minds, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” I give each member a hug before giving Joong a long hug. “I will be fine, I promise. And if it makes you feel any better, I already made plans with Sumi to grab dinner a couple times while you guys are gone.” I kiss him quickly on the cheek and stand by the door.

“I know, and it does… Okay, have fun, enjoy the quiet, and good luck with starting your internship this week. They will love your designs so don’t worry. I will call when we land, love you baby sister,” Joong tells me before ruffling my hair as he walks out the door. Followed by the rest of the guys telling me their “love you’s and goodbye’s” too because you know, why not. I shut the door behind them, hearing the automatic lock engage, I turn around and lean back on it, smiling and I shake my head.

Now, I just need to finish going through this contract since I have my meeting tomorrow instead of next week. Apparently, there was an opening on another group's stylist staff. They liked my profile and want me to bring an updated portfolio for the team to review. So I am starting sooner as this group will be announcing a comeback in a couple months. I still have no clue what group I will be assigned to yet. So, just to be safe I have been doing research on all the groups they have including SKZ because I want to be prepared for my job and not for any other reason to watch or learn more about the Stray Kids members.

A few hours later, I stand at my desk with my hands on my hips, looking down at the scattered sketches. I want to make sure that I have a broad selection of styles to showcase my ideas. I have already narrowed down my sketches to ten, but I want to narrow the choices down to six. I figured I could showcase two feminine sketches, two masculine ones, and two gender neutral pieces. I shake out my hands and sit down to get back to work. I bite down on the end of my pencil while I look over the sketches for what seems like hours. 

Hongjoong calls me a few hours later to let me know that they have landed and are on their way to the hotel. I can hear the rest of the guys in the background being crazy like always, yelling to Joong to tell me hi and they miss me already. We say goodbye and I get back to work.

I wake up with a start, my alarm blaring beside me— 6:30 am. I groan,  realizing that I fell asleep at my desk working last night. I lift my arms up above my head to stretch them out and get blood flowing again. I get out of my chair, gather my clothes for the day, and head to the bathroom to shower and get ready, my meeting is at nine am.

Clasping the closure of the pearl necklace and securing the pearl earrings that were my mothers, I take one last look at myself in the mirror. I love being able to dress up and apply my style to the looks I choose for the day. Today I decided to wear a suit type of outfit. I have black dress pants that are split up the front, ending right above my knees with black lace sewn into the slits. I chose a white silk button up top with long sleeves, and a black lace corset belt. I chose my black leather Louboutin pumps to complete the outfit and let my jet-black hair fall down my back in soft curls. I want to make a good first impression after all.

Grabbing my purse and laptop bag I walk out of my room into the kitchen to get my coffee and some toast before my uber gets here. I should probably have more to eat but the nerves that are bouncing around have my stomach in knots, so toast will have to do for now. As I put my plate in the dishwasher and I am screwing the lid onto my travel coffee mug, I get a notification on my phone letting me know that my uber driver has arrived. Hurrying out of the apartment, I slow down just enough to make sure the door is locked behind me before running to catch the elevator that has people from the floor loading in before the door closes. Once in the lobby, I make my way out of the front door spotting my uber, I check with the driver to confirm that they are there for me and head to the JYP building.

The drive from my brother's apartment to the company is a short one. Thankfully the driver seems to be content with us driving in silence with nothing but some music playing from the radio. I take this time to give myself one of my pep talks. I take some calming breaths in and out and mentally hype myself up. 

I got this, this is nothing more than another chance to showcase my talent and to learn from stylists in the industry. No matter what idols I get to work with, I will always give my best work. If I get to see Felix, Changbin, Hyunjin, or any of the other members, I will act chill and normal. I will not let my ovaries make a fool out of me… again.

I nod my head as if to seal all the thoughts I just had, like a verbal contract with myself just as we pull up to the front of the JYP building. Thanking the driver, I step out onto the sidewalk and look up at the building. I take one last deep breath and square my shoulders before I walk into the front doors. I am supposed to meet my internship advisor by the front desk. It is now 8:30 am. I made it with a bit of time before the meeting.

As I walk up to the front desk, a beautiful woman stands behind the desk, chatting with the receptionist, radiating a confidence that I aspire to have. She has luscious blonde hair that hangs just past her shoulders, big, beautiful honey eyes, signature hourglass frame with legs for days. She wears a black turtleneck dress with almost identical black pumps to mine. 

She looks my way as I approach the desk, her smile widens as we make eye contact. “Good morning, I presume that you are Kim  Jae?” I smile and nod my head yes, smiling as I hear the small twang of what I assume is a southern accent. “How are you doing this morning? I’m Adeline,  assigned to you as your internship advisor and technically your ‘boss’,” Adeline says while doing air quotes.

“Yes, I am Kim Jae. Good morning, Adeline. I’m good, a little stiff from falling asleep on my desk last night,” I say, a little embarrassed.

Adeline just smiles sympathetically with me and nods her head. “Call me Addie, shoog. I have had my share of sleeping at my desk nights. It’s not fun and is also the main reason my chiropractor gets so much of my money.” She laughs and checks her watch. “Here 30 minutes early, I love to see the enthusiasm.” The receptionist hands Adeline some items before she greets the next person waiting.

“Thank you, I don’t like showing up late,” I reply, smiling.

“Okay, follow me. We will head to the conference room and then I will show you where our work room is.” Adeline turns and walks around the corner to head towards the elevators. I follow closely behind her pulling the strap of my laptop bag up to sit better on my shoulder. 

Once we are in front of the elevators, Adeline turns to look at me. She takes in my appearance and smiles. The elevator doors ding as they open allowing us to step inside. Adeline presses the button for the second floor. “I love your ensemble. Usually, we dress pretty casually when we are in the design room or fitting and dressing the idols. But for meetings, individual idols schedules, or anything that requires this,” she gestures to the dressy outfits we are both wearing. “Those are the only times that we are required to dress professionally.” 

The doors ding again before opening and then we are walking to the right towards a huge room with double doors at the end of the corridor. There are windows surrounding the room and I can see that there are at least 20 people inside this room already. Adeline speaks beside me, “Today, not only will you meet with JYP CEO but also the whole Stray Kids team. It’s almost comeback season, so when we added you and a few others to our team's roster we figured we’d get everything done in one meeting.”

I laugh, because I clearly didn’t hear correctly. Me? Kim Jae, on the Stray Kids team? What parallel universe did I fall into? Pausing mid-step, Adeline turns towards me with a questioning look. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh but I thought you said Stray Kids team?”

“Why yes honey, I did. Why is that funny?”

“Oh, it’s not funny in a bad way. I am just surprised that I would be working with one of JYPs biggest groups as an intern.”

Adeline smiles and hums with a nod of her head. “Jae, I realize that I also forgot to mention that I am the lead designer for the guys. I know you are just out of Uni, but I recognize talent when I see it and your designs are incredible. That’s why I chose you when we had a spot open.” 

My mouth hangs open for a few moments in shock because I didn’t realize that Adeline was the lead designer for them, let alone that she chose me herself. “Thank you, Adeline. I promise that you will get my best work!”

Adeline smiles as we begin walking. “Oh, I am sure I will Jae.” 

Pulling the door open to the conference room, Adeline ushers me in, steering me to the left towards a group of  seven. There are similar groups scattered around the huge room, having discussions in low voices.

“Everyone, this is Jae. She is the intern I told ya’ll about. Jae let me introduce you to the design and stylist team.” Adeline begins with a lady who looks to be in her mid 30’s to my left. “This is Sua, Maya, Jaxton, Nali, Leo, Iris, and Yuri.” Everyone gives a welcoming smile my way as we say hello. 

Sua turns toward me, “I am the oldest one on the team and kind of the unofficial team eomma. Don’t hesitate to ask me questions if Adeline isn’t available.”

“Yes, Sua is an amazing stylist and my second in command. We work as a team of nine, I usually assign two members to one of the guys when they have solo schedules. But you will have a designated idol for performances, etc. Every one of us works with all eight members of the group, so that way if for some reason someone is out, the others can help fill in the gaps and know all the members' preferences.” I nod my head confirming that I am taking everything in as Sua and Adeline are talking with the group. 

“Jae, can I please have your updated portfolio? Mr. Jay Park will want to see it and the meeting is getting ready to start. You can sit here in these chairs with the rest of the team, Sua and I usually sit at the conference table with the other head of departments and their second in charge.”

As I am chatting with Leo and Nali, I feel a hand tap my arm. I turn to see Sumi smiling a huge smile at me. “Oh my goodness, Jae! I can’t believe that we are on the same team!”

“Sumi! What are you doing here? Please tell me that you are on the makeup artist team?”

Sumi’s smile widens and she begins to nod her head enthusiastically. “Yes, Dae-hyun got a call from Chan the day after the gala saying that they were needing another makeup artist and my temporary contract with Lisa ended a couple of weeks ago. So, now I am here.”

We hug and laugh with excitement at being able to work together. “Okay, I am going to go over and sit with the makeup team.” Sumi kisses my cheek before walking around to the opposite side of the room to sit with a team of eight.

The chatter dies down as a middle aged man, dressed in a dark suit walks in with two others in tow. I recognize him as Mr. Jay Park from what I learned about the company as I researched who I would be interning with. Park-nim takes the seat at the head of the conference table and says hello to everyone. He asks how everyone is doing and even greets the few new comers, like me and Sumi, welcoming us to the SKZ team. 

“I apologize that Chan isn’t here, however, I had to force that man to take a few days off but the members have already vowed to be back here in the building next week to start working on the new comeback.” There are a few chuckles throughout the room and Yuri leans close to me to tell me that the idols, especially Chan, do not know the meaning of downtime. “So with that being said, let’s also get to work so that we can make this comeback better than the last.”

The meeting stretches well into lunch time, each team has presented their ideas for the new comeback and rough sketches on how they are wanting to convey this new theme. Of course all of this is still in the preliminary stage as Park-nim has made it clear that the group has the final say in costumes, choreography, makeup, etc. The whole design team has been taking notes, myself included and I have so many ideas flashing through my mind. I can feel my hand itching to sketch these ideas out on paper ASAP. 

As I am doing a miniature rough sketch, I notice bodies approaching. Looking up from my sketch I see Adeline, Sua, and Park-nim coming towards me. I quickly stand, bowing in greeting when they stop in front of me. Adeline hands Park-nim my portfolio as she speaks to him. 

“This is the intern that I plucked from the NiziU team, Park-nim.”

Park-nim flips through my portfolio with the six designs I chose, along with smaller photos of completed pieces that I designed in Uni. Nodding his head, he looks up at me over the rim of his glasses. “So, Ms. Kim, I understand that you have recently graduated from attending University in New York for fashion design and merchandising, is that correct,” Park-nim questions with a polite smile.

“Yes, that is correct. I just recently moved back to Seoul a little over a month ago.”

“I see. Tell us, what are your goals for yourself and your career?” Park-nim asks, closing my portfolio to give me his full attention.

I quickly look at Adeline, feeling the nerves growing as all eyes are on me at this moment. Adeline smiles softly, with reassurance in her eyes. I take a breath and quickly gather my thoughts.

“Well, ultimately, I would like to design and create my own clothing label. Something that showcases my talents and who I am as an artist. Showing how innovative and creative I can be with couture pieces as well as pieces that can be worn for everyday wear. I would love to see my designs being worn by influential people from all over the world and have my designs sought after. If I am being completely transparent.”

I look over at Sumi who has a huge grin and then to Adeline who has a look of admiration on her face. Park-nim seems to be trying to hide his amused smirk. I breathe a bit easier, feeling proud of how easy it was to answer that question honestly.

“Well, Ms. Kim, just from your submitted portfolio, I can see that happening for you. I am not sure how much you have been told about what your internship with JYP will entail but I do feel like you would be a valuable asset to both our company and the Stray Kids team.”

I bow to show my thanks and gratitude for being given this opportunity to Park-nim and Adeline. Park-nim tells Adeline to go over the contract with me so that I can sign it and then get my employee passes, etc.

Chapter Text

Jae

Remember when you were a kid and you couldn’t sleep the night before the first day of school because you were so excited to see who would be in your class? Well, that has been me this whole week, even though I have met most of the team. They have had this week off to recoup after most of them were on tour with the guys. So this week has been all about learning the ropes as part of the Skiji team. Apparently the rumor is that the name was given to the Stray Kids team by Stay. Adeline has been graciously showing me around the company, while I finished up things with HR. I have even been able to sit in and watch Twice’s stylist work so that I can kind of get a feel for how our team will work.

Everyone I have met so far has welcomed me with open arms. I have had a few conversations with the managers who were working on things in their offices while Adeline had shown me the SKZ floor. I never imagined that there would be an entire floor dedicated to the group, but it makes sense. It was the same for Twice and Itzy. 

The SKZ floor is on the 10th story of the company. Around the perimeter, the floor includes the managers offices, Adeline's and Zara's (the makeup artists team lead) offices, the design studio where we will work, a makeup studio, and a smaller conference room in the middle of the floor that is surrounded by frosted floor-to-ceiling  windows.

Taking in the floor has my heart fluttering. It honestly feels so surreal to be standing here, taking in the surroundings of where I will be working. I feel like I am one step closer to achieving the dreams that I set as a child. I catch Adeline's soft gaze as she studies me, judging by the smiles she has on her face, she understands my feelings.

JYP has a cafeteria on the first floor, conference rooms and HR are on the second floor, gym and dance studios on the third floor, the recording studios are on the fourth floor, and Park-nim's office is located on the 12th floor. Adeline told me that while I was free to go to any floor if needed, these would be the main ones that I should get to know as well as the basement level that I could enter through if I was parking in the underground parking or ever riding with the Skiji team.

The design room is huge, there are work stations set up for all nine of us throughout the room, an area for the idols to change and have measurements/adjustments done, and last but not least my favorite part is where the sewing machines are. Of course JYP would have the best industrial machines for us to use, Juki Brand. I can only dream of owning one of my own soon.

Adeline had chuckled the first day she showed me the room when I squeaked excitedly seeing the sewing room with the machines and the trimmings they already had on hand. I felt like a kid in a candy store. She then told me that if this was exciting to me, that I would simply die when we take a trip to the fabric district. I cannot wait to do that.

It has been a week since the Gala and tomorrow is Friday, I only have to go to the company tomorrow to pick up my permanent badge and I also want to make sure that I have my workstation stocked before the whole team is back to work Monday working on concept ideas to show the members in a few weeks. 

I’m sitting on my bed with my sketchbook on my left side and some tuna kimbap on my right side, watching another episode of Project Runway playing in the background, working on some idea sketches I had floating around in my head. With my mouth stuffed with a piece of kimbap, my phone rings showing Hongjoong's face on my screen. I start to chew quickly so I can swallow my bite to answer.

“JOONGIE!” I yell, my mouth still full. Hongjoong instantly makes a disgusted face.

“Yah, Jae. Do you really have to answer with food in your mouth?” I can hear the others chuckling in the background while I just roll my eyes at him, swallowing my bite of food.

“Sorry, Joongie. You're lucky I didn’t stick my tongue out to show you my food,” Blowing a kiss at him as he gags. “How is Japan? How are the shows going? You will be gone for two more weeks right?”

“Woah, Jae. One question at a time,” Hongjoong laughs. “Japan is beautiful as always and yes we have two more weeks here. The shows have been amazing, Atiny has been so awesome to interact with and they have had so much energy.” 

I smile while I watch Hongjoong talk. His face lights up like a thousand stars when he talks about performing and their fans. He and my other brothers are definitely doing what they love. It gives me the confidence to push and work hard for my goals. “Eomma and Appa would be so proud of you, oppa.”

Hongjoong’s eyes softened at my comment, “They would be so proud of you Jae-bug.” Before I can start to cry, Joong changes the subject. “How has your first week at JYP been?”

“It’s been good, not too much going on. Just meeting with Adeline daily as we go over procedure and the layout of the building so I don’t get lost.” I laugh because I would indeed get lost if I wasn’t shown around. “Other than that, I got my contract signed for six months to finish my internship time and then we can revisit if I will be hired on full time. Then of course was the NDA that I needed to read through and sign. That was a lot but nothing that I didn’t expect when working with idols.”

Seonghwa comes into view, smiling. “That sounds like it has been a busy week for you. How does it feel to be working with Stray Kids?”

I shrug my shoulders, “Honestly, it hasn’t felt any different than what I was doing in Uni, but they also haven’t been at the company this week. Park-nim said that he had to force them to take some time off.”

Hwa and Joong just laugh and nod their heads. “Yeah, they like to keep working on the next thing that they get in their heads.”

I smile, “Sounds like another group of eight men that I know.”

Felix

“5, 6, 7, 8… 1 and 2 and 3 and 4…. Bum...bum…bum-dum-bum...” Minho counted out as we ran through this sequence for the 100th time, at least that is what it felt like. “Again… Yongbok-ah, you’re half a count too early on that last move.”

“Yeah, I know, sorry hyung. I’m trying to slow it down,” I tell him trying to catch my breath. My timing was off again. I couldn’t stop thinking about her—about Jae. I know, I am not giving it my all this practice, but I can’t seem to get out of my own thoughts today. We all shuffle back to the starting position and Hyunjin pats my back encouragingly, giving me a nod that tells me “You’ve got this.”

Minho starts to count out the beat again and we slip into the moves effortlessly, this time I land the counts perfectly and finish right as I am supposed to. “There you go, mate,” Chan says to me, clapping me on the shoulder. “If we keep up practicing, we will be ready for our comeback in no time. We got this, Fighting!”

Gasping for breath, I nod as one by one we all collapse to the ground in exhaustion. I lay on my back pushing my blonde hair away from my sweaty face and turned my head to look in the floor-to-ceiling  mirrors that line the back wall. I can’t help but chuckle as I watch Jisung crawl towards a limp looking Minho giving him a quick peck on the lips before laying his head on Minho’s stomach. Chan and Changbin have plopped down on the leather couch that is in the corner of the room, Seungmin and Jeongin are sitting against the opposite wall, and Hyunjin is laying down beside me. I reach my hand out to play with his hair as we all try and catch our breath.

Although we are technically “on vacation” we decided to come into the studio to start practicing our new choreo and record some for the album. We are still taking it easy, since we all decided to stay in Seoul for this downtime.

After our break, we start cleaning up the practice room before we get ready to head back to the apartment. Friday nights are usually the only night that we can have our weekly group dinner but we have been taking advantage of the off time and that means that Minho is cooking and I am on baking duty. 

As we are still putting things away and throwing our towels in the laundry bin, Chan walks over to me. “Hey Lix, you good? I noticed that you seemed to be distracted this past week and more so today.”

I sigh because I knew it was only a matter of time before one of the members asked me what was going on, I felt off all week and knew that they would also pick up on it as well. “Yeah, I’m good Channie hyung. It’s actually pretty silly, I’m kind of embarrassed to say it out loud.” 

“Come on Lix, you know that any one of us would be there for you to talk to and we would never judge you,” his Aussie accent coming out accompanied by his signature smile that shows one of his dimples.

“I know, I know. I just haven’t been this tripped up over someone before but for some reason I cannot get Jae out of my head.” Rubbing the back of my neck feeling silly at my admission.

Chan laughs, “Oh, you’re talking about Hongjoong's sister… yeah, she seems great. You, Changbin, and Hyunjin seemed to really get along well with her that night. I watched you all dancing.” He gives me a playful smirk and waggles his eyebrows.

Laughing at his antics, I say, “Yeah, she is actually a great dancer. We had a lot of fun and she’s witty as hell. You should have seen her put Wooyoung, San, and Hongjoong in their place when they tried to tease her.”

“I’ve heard that she can handle those guys pretty well from Hongjoong,” he smiles. “So, what’s the issue Lix? Do you like her? Or is she something you feel like you need to get out of your system?”

I snap my gaze up to him and frown before I can catch myself. Logically, I know Chan isn’t meaning for that last question to come across as rude, he is simply just trying to figure out what it is that I want. But, for some reason the thought of hooking up with her to “get her out of my system” doesn’t sit well with me. I mean, it’s not unheard of that things like that happen, especially in our line of work. It’s not exactly easy to have a relationship outside of what we have with each other because of our schedules etc. 

I know most of our Stays would be happy for us and support our relationships but it’s also the matter of finding someone that can handle the pressure of wanting to be with us as a whole and also add in the fact that we’re idols. So, most idols hook-up here and there and it usually means nothing in a romantic sense or they end up in a poly relationship with their members and a few others.

“No, I really don’t want her to be just a hook-up.” I say it a little too harshly. I blush and look down, really embarrassed now.

“Woah, no worries, Lix. I just want to try and understand where your head is when it comes to Jae. This situation is also a little harder to navigate because we need to discuss this as a group and she is Hongjoong’s sister.”

“I know, that’s another reason why I have been dwelling over this. I don’t want to overstep any boundaries. I just don’t know what to do Chris.”

Chan pulls me into a hug and kisses the top of my head. “Well, I think the best thing to do is for all of us to sit down and talk. Then try to reach out to Jae and go from there. Is she single?” he asks, eyebrows raised.

“I have no idea,” I let out softly.

“Well, first things first, let’s have a chat with the others about what you’re feeling for Jae and see how they feel about the situation.” Chan takes a step back enough to look me in the eye. “For all we know, they would be open to you having another fling like you did with Mina last year. Or… there might be shared feelings about wanting to pursue her and add her to our relationship.” Of course all of this would come down to how Jae would feel. She could say no to the whole thing.” Chan hugs me tighter before lifting my chin to place a sweet kiss on my lips.  “We will figure this all out, Lixie.”

Later that night, after Minho hyung and I finished making dinner, we all gathered around our table to eat. The night was casual as we all chatted about random things from a new anime that Ji and Min were excited to start, to how many levels of Tekken or Genshin we have played the last few days. As I am chatting with Hyunjin about a painting he has been working on for Bin’s birthday, Chan clears his voice, silencing the chatter around the table.

“Okay everyone, since we are all here there is something that needs to be discussed.” Chan then looks at me before continuing. “I am sure that you all have noticed that our Bokkie has been a little preoccupied this past week since the Gala and for good reason.” As Chan’s words sank in, my stomach twisted. The room felt charged, everyone shifting slightly, eyes darting between each other.

Hyunjin smiles widely as he and the others begin to decipher where this conversation is going. Binnie makes eye contact with me from across the table with a knowing look as well as the others as each one begins to set their gaze my way.

“We agreed when we officially became lovers that we would always talk to one another if someone ever caught our eye and we wanted to pursue them. Now no one has ever wanted to pursue someone to bring into our relationship as of yet. Lix, would you like to tell all of us where your head is at?” Chan gives me an encouraging smile and nod. Loving all seven of them is the best and hardest thing I’ve ever done. We work as a unit, and honesty has always been our rule. 

“So,” clearing my throat, “I haven’t been able to get Jae out of my head since the Gala. That’s the reason I have been preoccupied and was struggling while we were practicing the new choreo today.” I can feel the weight of all their eyes on me. But I also feel the weight lifting off of my shoulders, so I continue. 

“I don’t know what it is about her. She just seems so different from the others that I have had flings with outside of us.” I gesture with my hand to the others sitting around the table. “I guess what I want to know is, how would you all feel if I pursue Jae? And am I the only one that is interested in her?” Before I let them answer, I word vomit out my insecurities. “I don’t know if she even feels the same way or if she would even be interested in our relationship style. But before I even take that step to start talking to her, I wanted and needed to speak with you all.”

It is silent for a few moments, the others letting what I said sink in as they also think about how they feel about the situation. That is one of the things that I love about our group is that we try not to make rash decisions and we take the time to actually process the situation when we have these kinds of talks. The fact that the silence stretches on for a few minutes doesn’t necessarily make me nervous as much as curious of what the others are thinking.

I allow my gaze to wander around the room to each one of my lovers. I’m hoping that I can decipher what they are all thinking before those thoughts are spoken out loud. So far, none of them are giving anything away with their facial expressions. The silence stretches on, and my chest feels tight. My palms are clammy as I glance around the table, desperate to read their expressions.

Minho is the first to speak. “From what I saw at the Gala and how you three interacted with her,” Minho says while gesturing towards Changbin, Hyunjin, and myself, “It would seem that Yongbok-ah isn’t the only one enraptured by Jae. Even Jisung, Jeongin and I could feel the pull towards her. She was fascinating to watch, she just has an aura around her that makes me want to be around her.”

I look around at the others and every single one of them are nodding their heads along with what Min is saying. Changbin is the next to speak as he leans back in his chair with eyes shining as he smiles thinking about Jae. “Yah, she really is something. Of course she is beautiful at first glance and once you start to talk with her she is smart and witty. Did you see the way she put Wooyoung in his place as he kept trying to tease her?” 

A few of us chuckle around the table at the memory. Jae really does know how to keep up with the Ateez members. “She’s also determined, did you see the way she spoke about her craft? It reminds me of us when we explain why music is important to us,” Jisung adds to the conversation.

“So what I am hearing is that more than Felix is interested in pursuing Jae?” Chan asks.

Seungmin says, “Even though I didn’t speak with her much that night, I am sure that if she was to be interested in a relationship like ours, I would fall for her as well.”

“That’s the thing, we aren’t fully jumping into dating her right off the bat of course. The only reason we are having this conversation is to make sure that we are all on the same page in case a relationship with Jae could be started. Then we would need to have another conversation with her about our dynamic as lovers as well when and if the time comes,” Chan states. Everyone nods in agreement around the table and I feel lighter.

We begin to clear the table from our meal, some take dish duty and the others put away the leftovers, while Minho and I just help clear off the table since we cooked tonight. Min stops me heading back to the table, wrapping his arms around my waist to give me a back hug.

“Yongbok-ah, you should have come and talked to one of us instead of letting this fester. Everything will work out the way it is supposed to,” He says before leaving a kiss under my ear on my neck. 

I turn around in his hold to wrap my arms around his neck, “Sorry Min hyung, I didn’t want a silly crush to be a big deal. However, the more days that have passed, it feels more than a crush.” Minho smiles at me and I kiss him sweetly on the lips. “Let’s get the table cleared and then we can get the living room set up for a movie.”

“That sounds like a plan, Bokkie.”

Chan meets us by the table. “Remember we are still going to the company for a few hours tomorrow to lay down some more vocal tracks. Plus, I also want to meet the new Skiji team members. Park-nim stated we now have a new stylist and I hope Sumi was chosen as the new makeup artist.”

Chapter Text

Jae

“One iced americano, please.” 

The cafeteria at the company is almost silent at 8:30 this morning. With only a handful of people sitting around sipping their morning coffees, Sumi and I are having an impromptu coffee date this morning after running into each other on our way into the building. 

“I don't know how you can drink that. Dae-hyun loves them too. He says they give him the ‘perfect amount of jitters’ to get through his day” Sumi’s lips quirk with a smile as she slides into her chair.

Plopping down across from her, I shrug. “I would have to agree with him, but only on days that I need the extra… motivation. Other than that I’m a frappucino kind of girl.” Sumi just giggles.

“So, how do you feel about being on the Skiji team?” Sumi takes a sip of her Macha.  “Were you expecting to work with this big of a group right away?”

Shaking my head, I swirl the ice in my cup. “Not at all. I thought I was hallucinating when Adeline told me the name of the group. However, I am super excited. There's no better way to learn than to jump in feet first right? What about you? Were you surprised when you got offered the MUA position?”

“Actually, I knew the night of the gala. Bang Chan talked with Dae-hyun and myself about the position. He knew my contract with Lisa was over and he said he wanted to snatch me up before anyone else could.”

My eyes widen, as well as my smile. “That had to feel amazing that the leader of one of the biggest 4th gen groups asked you personally, right? I am just happy that you and I are gonna be basically working together, even if we are in different departments.”

“Me too girl, we are going to have so much fun. So whatcha got planned for today? I’m not doing much but setting my station up before the team comes back Monday.”

“Same here. Adeline said that I could set up my work station how I needed to before we start working on new concepts Monday. Then I was going to roam around a bit to better familiarize myself with the company.” Not long after, Sumi and I had both finished our drinks. We rode the elevator up to the SKZ floor, making promises to grab lunch together next week before going our separate ways towards our respective work rooms. 

My work station is towards the back of the room and right by the windows. The light pouring in relaxes my nerves in a way. Working in natural light is what I prefer, whether it be design sketching, pattern making, or piecing together a garment. 

Placing my earbuds in, I turn on a playlist of today's Kpop hits. I figure what the heck, I need to become familiar with the newer music now that I will be working in the industry.

I start by cleaning and sanitizing my station. There is something calming in the familiar motion of wiping every hard surface down before I restock the right side pull out drawers with sketch pads, pencils, pens etc. The left side will house my fabric scissors, pattern paper, straight pins, tailors chalk, etc. Many of the items I brought from my stash at home and what I was missing I was able to find in the supply closet in the next room. I also have my own draping mannequin to work with. 

The mannequin's head is cocked to one side like he is silently judging me. “Right, you sir, need a name,” I tell him, hands placed on my hips as I begin to conjure up names. “It needs to be something dignified. Classy. Professional. Inspiring.”

I stare for a beat, then blurt out, “Felix-quin!”

The second it leaves my mouth, my face heats as I look around quickly making sure I am alone. “No, that’s ridiculous.”

I turn away to wipe some more invisible dust… then glance back.

“But also, kind of perfect… Nope. Nope, absolutely not.” 

Five seconds later, “Seamore. Yep, Sir Seamore of the draping table.”

I burst out laughing, “Good thing I’m alone or the others would think I’m nuts.” 

I pat Seamore on the shoulder, “Alright Seamore, don’t let me down.”

Case143 begins to play through my earbuds and I continue to dance, moving my shoulders. I may or may not have started listening to Straykids music after the gala. But no one can prove it for sure. Before I know it I am singing along. 

Why do I keep getting attracted

자석 같이 끌려가

I cannot explain this reaction

이것밖에 143

Why do I keep getting attracted

네 모습만 떠올라

I cannot explain this emotion

143

I LOVE YOU

I spin around after belting out the last line, just to see Bang Chan— The Bang Chan standing in the doorway. Why is he grinning like that? How long has he been there? Pulling out my earbuds, I wish, for the millionth time, that the floor would open and swallow me. I might actually die from embarrassment at this rate. Belting out a song in my own room is one thing– but being caught by StrayKids leader is a whole new level of humiliation. What if he thinks I am unprofessional? I can already feel my credibility unraveling at the seams. Ha! Seams…. Ugh Jae, get it together. 

“Hello, Bang Chan. Sorry you had to hear my awful rendition of Case143.” I laugh at myself.

Chan chuckles as he steps into the room. “No need for apologies. You sounded good. Please call me Chan. How are you doing Jae?”

“Well besides feeling like I am turning into a tomato, I am good. I just wanted to set up my work station before everyone comes back on Monday.”

Chan walks around the room, looking around at the work stations. While I try to lean casually against the table top of my work station. Mentally thanking myself for choosing my baby blue pleated skirt, white tank top with a matching baby blue cropped hoodie, and my AJ 1’s in Ice blue over the sweatpants and hoodie I was contemplating. I even did my hair in space buns today. So I’m not letting the nerves get to me at all. You believe that right? Me either. 

Chan comes to a stop beside my table. He smiles with his eyes.

“I don’t think I have ever seen this room this quiet or this clean.” Laughing he adds, “Usually it's a chaotic yet organized mess.” 

I look around, nodding. I can definitely believe that is the usual state of this room. Especially after being able to visit the other stylists' work areas here. It was a beautiful, chaotic mess. I feel like that’s how stylists work best. 

“I heard from Hyuk hyung that our new stylist was up here in the work room and I wanted to stop by to introduce myself. I didn’t realize it would be you Jae.” Chan has taken a step closer, only an arm length away. I can smell the spice of his cologne and it instantly makes my cheeks feel hot. Why is every member having this effect on me?

Swallowing, I force the tangle of words in my head to cooperate. “I only just found out this past Monday. To say I was surprised would be an understatement.”

“I hope you aren’t trying to scare off our new stylist Bang Chan.” Adeline strolls into the work room stopping in front of Chan just in time for him to give her a big hug. “Why are you back in this building Christopher? I heard you and the others were already working on choreography yesterday.”

Chan looks a little guilty, rubbing the back of his neck, and letting out a chuckle. “I would never scare off anyone, Adie. And to answer the other questions…” Chan looks up at the ceiling. “I plead the fifth.”

All I can do is watch the exchange between the two. I press my hand to my chest where I feel a pang of— jealousy? No it is jealousy, it’s yearning. It’s an ache that I wasn’t prepared for. My brain tries to reason with me: It was just a hug and Adie has worked with them since debut. She probably gets those dimpled smiles and warm embraces daily from Chan and the others. But I still can’t help but want to know what it would feel like to have Chan wrap those arms around me. 

Yeah, real professional Jae. I’m here to work, not swoon over the idols. I shake my head hard enough to clear my thoughts, forcing myself to come back to the conversation happening around me.

“I stole Jae from the NizUi team. Chan, her design ideas are exactly what we need for this next comeback.” Adeline’s praise catches me off guard and for the hundredth time, I can feel my cheeks burn. At this point, I won’t ever have to spend another dime on blush.

Chan smiles my way listening to Adeline. “I am sure that you wouldn’t have stolen her if you didn’t think that she had the right color for us. I’m curious to see what ideas you have for us, Jae.”

I duck my head down to try and hide the fact that my ears are now burning. Chan sees this and decides that he wants my attention so he leans in closer, tilting his head just enough to catch my eyes. 

“I… I hope that I can come up with something that captures the theme of the comeback.” Smooth, real smooth Kim Jae, I chastise myself.

Adeline pats my shoulder, “I know you will, Jae. By the way have you met the members yet?”

I pull my gaze from Chans to give Adeline my full attention now. I clear my throat, hoping that it distracts from the knowing look she is giving me, now. “Yes, I have. I met them at the gala last week. I attended with my brother Kim Hongjoong and his group.”

“WHAT?!” Adeline almost shouts, causing me to jump. “I had no clue that you were Hongjong's sister!” “Of course, my fave group is our Straykids.” Chan chuckles when Adeline bumps his shoulder. “My second favorite group is Ateez. They were amazing to work with when they filmed Kingdom with our guys.” 

I feel proud hearing that my brothers are so well loved, even by other idol group’s team members. 

“Well I was coming over to see if you wanted to go meet the members since I had heard that they were here but if you have already met them… then, nevermind,” Adeline smiles. 

I dropped the sketch pad I was holding, “Oh… No, I appreciate that Adeline, I’d love to introduce myself as part of the team instead of Hongjoong’s baby sister.” I quickly picked up the sketch pad to put away.

Before I can turn back towards Adeline and Chan, Chan suggests, “I can take her Adie. I was actually heading back to the practice room anyway.” Meeting my gaze, “If that is okay with you Jae?”

My body answers before my mouth can form words, nodding my head, probably faster than what is necessary judging by the smirk Adeline has. “Yeah, that would be great Chan, thank you.”

Adeline claps her hands together, showing a thousand watt smile. “Alright darlins, I will be off then. Chan, take care of my new girl. And Jae, watch yourself with those eight… They can be menaces to deal with.”

Chan stares at Adeline with amusement and I try to hide my giggle behind my hand. “Oh, I have plenty of experience dealing with menaces. I’ll be okay.”

With that Adeline turns on her heel, waving as she heads out of our work room. Chan and I stand in a semi awkward silence for a beat before he clears his throat and asks me to follow him. As we walk through the corridor to the elevator, Chan makes small talk with me. Telling me about how he is excited for the comeback and for me to be able to work with them. I reply and assure him that I am equally as excited to be on the Skiji team. 

Before I realize it we are already standing in front of one of the practice rooms on the third floor.  A loud bang slams against the door, hard enough I swear that I can feel it rattle my bones. And who is that screaming? Oh damn, it would be if Chan’s chuckle beside me was any indication. Yup, I have officially embarrassed myself enough for the next year. To make matters worse, I then realize that his hands are gently gripping both of my arms holding me steady. 

“You okay?”

“Yeah, that just scared the hell out of me. What are they doing in there?”

Shrugging, Chan says, “Not sure, let’s find out shall we?”

I follow behind him as he pushes the door open to hear music playing from the sound system and then I see Hyunjin running across the room yelling “ANDWAE HYUNG!!” as I then see Lee Know running after him with his shoe in one hand and tissues? In the other. Lifting my brow in question at Chan as Lee Know continues to chase Hyunjin around the room.

“Why is he chasing him?” I step closer to Chan so I can keep my voice low. None of the other members seem to realize that we have joined them.

Whispering back, Chan answers, “I have no clue.” Chan clears his voice loudly. “Hey! I brought someone to say hello.”

Immediately Hyunjin and Lee Know stop running around the room to look our way along with the other five members. Who are spread around the room. Seungmin and Jeongin are on the couch on my right, Felix and Han are laying on the ground by the large mirrors opposite the door, and Changbin is drinking water by a water dispenser hidden in the cabinet where the sound system is. 

Suddenly I feel the weight of all their eyes on me. It causes a buzzing feeling below my skin's surface when they look at me. I reach to tuck the strands of hair I left hanging behind my ears just to give myself something to do with my hands. Meeting Felix’s eyes first, I instantly feel the heat spreading on my cheeks and ears.

“So, remember when I said we had a new stylist? Well, I just found out it’s Jae. I figured you’d all want to say hello again since she will be working with us.”

“Hey everyone. It’s so good to see you all again.”

Felix is the first to make a move, he slowly gets up from his spot on the floor by Han and strides right up to me. Once he stops in front of me he flashes a wide smile. “Jae! I’m so happy to see you again. Can I hug you?”

“Y-yeah, of course.” I was hoping my voice would have sounded stronger than it did. Either way, Felix opens his arms and I step into them for the absolute best hugs (besides my parents… and Joongs) I have had. I try to remind myself not to relax too much into the embrace as we are still acquaintances and I work for them. But I let myself enjoy it especially since I haven’t been able to get this man, as well as the others, out of my head.

“YAH! I want a hug if Felix gets one.” I hear Changbin yell from where he stands by the sound system still. Felix and I separate and I notice a pink tint to his cheeks and ears just like mine. 

“Guys, she just got here. We can’t bombard her with skinship already. I’m sorry Jae, we are all very close with our Skiji team and as you can tell we are fond of skinship. If it makes you uncomfortable, we understand.”

Well, that makes sense. Maybe, because they are so close with their team members and love skinship like my brothers, I was reading the glances and small touches wrong at the gala. That explanation makes sense, but my body refuses to believe it. My pulse is too quick, my skin too warm from the way Felix’s arms lingered around me. I remind myself—over and over—that I’m staff, not a fan, but the memory of his cheek brushing mine makes it impossible to pretend it didn’t affect me. I try to push the disappointment down before I look around the room at the members and see the hope(?) in their eyes. It’s okay, getting to know them as friends will have to be enough.

“I honestly don’t mind it at all. You do remember who my brothers are right? Skinship should be in their name.” Having said that, all of the others make their way to me to re introduce themselves and also get their hug. I even got one from Chan. 

After I receive an introductory hug from all eight men, Felix leads me by the hand towards the couch opposite the wall of mirrors. I take a seat, placing my mini backpack on my legs as I am wearing a skirt. Hyunjin takes notice, he grabs his hoodie off the counter where the computer sits on his way towards the group. Arriving last, as everyone takes a seat around me, Hyunjin holds out his hoodie in both hands, indicating that he means to lay it gently across my lap.

Blushing, I move my bag to the side, allowing him to place the hoodie on my legs. “Thank you, Hyunjin,” I say just above a whisper, my nerves causing a shy smile as my eyes find his. After setting my bag on the floor beside the couch, I readjust the hoodie to lay better, while also letting myself sink into the couch to sit more comfortably. 

I am at the left corner of the couch, Felix sits to my left on a chair, Chan sits backwards on the next chair, Changbin takes the next chair, Minho closes out the semi circle of chairs that they had dragged over, Hyunjin ends up grabbing a floor cushion and sits beside mine and Felix’s feet, Seungmin and Jisung follow suit with them sitting in front of Changbin and Minho. This leaves the maknae to plop down beside me on the couch with a heartstopping smile forming across his beautiful face causing his fox-like eyes to form crescent moons.

“Here is some water noona,” the fox-like man states as he hands me a cool bottle of water. I look around quickly to see that they do in fact have a mini-fridge in here. I bring my gaze back to the maknae, my smile widening just from feeling his happiness radiating from him. Jeongin is the youngest in the room. Younger than me by only a year. 

“Thank you Jeongin.” I take a grateful sip of the cool liquid as I have been feeling parched since I was escorted into the room by Chan what seems like forever ago but has been maybe 15 mins tops.  As much as I am trying to tell myself the attraction I feel is one-sided, it isn’t working. Especially not when Jeongin flashes that crescent-moon smile and the others look at me with something more than polite curiosity. Chan said they’re affectionate with their team, and maybe that’s all this is. But the way Felix held me, the way Hyunjin draped his hoodie over my lap… it all lingers too long in my head to feel like nothing. And that thought is far more dangerous than I want to admit.

Chapter Text

Jae

It’s been hours since my impromptu visit with the members in the practice room. We laughed and chatted like we had known one another for years instead of days. I can’t contain the smile as I replay the conversations we had in my head. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I rest my chin atop of them, letting the cool spring wind wrap around me while I sit on the balcony, basking in the sunset. This week has been a whirlwind of newness and I still am not sure of the routine that will be once the Skiji team is in full work mode. Weeks like this have me wishing that my parents were here still so that I could talk with them, especially Eomma. I miss them so much.

I am buzzing with excitement to see what it truly is like to work with a group leading up to a comeback, especially one as popular as Stray Kids. My internship contract is for six months, which will end right before the new comeback is to premier in October. If all goes well, Mr. Park mentioned that I could be offered a permanent position with the team. It would be nice to be able to work with them through promotions and tour to see the whole process through to the end.

The sun is almost set, leaving behind a beautiful array of pinks and oranges behind before twilight settles in. The view my brothers have is not bad being on the 25th floor. I close my eyes as another breeze blows gently through the balcony. Ever since my parents passed, I have always loved sitting out by myself letting my mind become quiet for even a few moments. 

I only open my eyes when the vibrations coming from my phone that is sitting on the small table to my right grabs my attention. I pick up the phone to reveal Joong’s name on the screen, they must be getting ready to take the stage for tonight's concert. 

I answer the video call, smiling when my brother's face fills the screen. “Hi Joongie! Are you getting ready to go on stage?”

I hear Hongjong's light chuckle on the other end of the phone and see a big smile. “Yeah, Jae-bug, we have just finished with makeup and hair. What are you doing?”

I pick at the fabric on my fuzzy sleep pants that I am wearing with my left hand, while I hold the phone with the other. “Just sitting on the balcony, watching the sunset. You know, my usual ritual.”

“Everything okay? Did anything happen? You only sit out like that when you need to calm your mind,” Joong says, not bothering to hide the concern seeping into his voice. 

I smile, my brother has always been protective over me and my feelings. “I’m fine, just needed a breather since my first week is now over. I’m trying to let the nervous feelings out before the real work begins, you know?”

“Yeah, I know. This is going to be a new chapter for you with a full blown job and not just a side one like you did in Uni. But even with that… You are going to do amazing, I just know it.” The pride in his voice as he reassures me. Hwa leans in next to Joong, smiling, “Joong’s right, Sweat Pea, you got this. We miss you already!” 

Before I can reply, Hwa has left Joong’s side to finish last minute things before they head to the stage.

“I have to go. They are waiting for me to head to the stage.”

I give a silly salute and nod. “Can’t start the show without the captain. Have fun, Joong. I’ll talk to you later.” I blow kisses to him and the others that are waiting in the background before the screen goes dark. I set my phone back down on the table, looking out again as now the city of Seoul is lit with the twinkling lights of a busy city at nightfall.

I still feel burdened by my stress when I head to bed. Maybe, I just need some sleep. That night I fall into a fitful sleep. I lay there for what feels like ages, willing myself to give into the sandman so I can sleep— but sleep doesn’t come or so I think.

Sirens… that’s all I can hear. Are they getting closer– or further? I can’t be sure. No matter how hard I try, I cannot pry my eyes open. My head feels fuzzy. Why can’t I feel my body? Why? Why can’t I move? I feel the panic rising. Quickly, my breaths become labored as I continue to fight with myself. Trying to get my eyes to open or my limbs to move. 

The sirens are still blaring and they have definitely come closer. I begin to sob along with my labored breathing. “HEEEELLLLLPPPPP,” I scream but it feels as if my throat is raw and only a small broken sound happens. 

“JAE?! JAE, WHERE ARE YOU?!” 

Eomma? No, it can’t be. Eomma and Appa are— gone. How can they be here? Where is… here? Where the hell am I? WHY CAN’T I FUCKING OPEN MY EYES?!

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*

My alarm sounds beside me and I crack my eyes open, unsure of where I am. I am so disoriented that it takes me several minutes to come back to myself and realize that I had a nightmare. Sitting up, I wipe the back of my hand over my face, feeling the tears that are falling. 

It was another nightmare of the night my parents' died. Only this one was different. Instead of me watching the accident, I was the one trapped and I could hear my Eomma’s voice calling my name.  A steady stream of hot tears fall down my cheeks, replaying her voice in my head, a voice that I haven’t heard since I was 10.

Thank goodness that it is Saturday and I am not due back at the company until Monday. After a nightmare like that, I would have been all over the place if I had anywhere important to be. I want nothing more than to call Hongjoong to tell him about it, seeking the comfort my brain craves but I won’t bother him when I know it will just upset him, especially since he is in another country. So the next best thing for me to do is to get moving and go to the gym to workout the remnants of it.

I collapse onto the mat, my chest heaving, and my arms  numb. It’s been a hot minute since I have done a boxing drill workout. Glancing at my smartwatch, I see that it is already 9 a.m. I got here at 6:30. No wonder my muscles are screaming at me. I lay there for a moment longer, feeling my heart rate settle,  music still thumping through my earbuds.

Finally, I find the strength to sit up with a groan, peeling off my gloves, flexing my fingers to get blood flowing again. After packing them away and gulping down some water, I switch my playlist to something smoother, letting the jazz notes guide me through my stretches. My body immediately begins to melt into the flow until I am finishing out my last stretch in child’s pose. My warm muscles loosen with the music. 

The chime of a message cuts through my earbuds. I stay for a couple minutes longer in the pose before I reach for my phone. The screen flashes with a message from Sumi.

Sumi: Dinner and drinks tonight?

A smile tugs at my lips. Yes, exactly what I need.

The rest of the day passes quickly. I busy myself with mundane tasks— groceries, laundry, and binge watching some of my fave dramas. At 5:30 I jump in the shower, washing quickly and shaving my legs. Once finished, I wrap a fluffy towel around my body while walking to my closet to decide on tonight’s outfit. I settle on a black mini skirt, a pink silk backless tank that has gold link chains on the shoulder straps, and black leather ankle boots. 

Now that I have decided on the outfit, I sit at my vanity to start drying and curling my hair. I pull my hair back into an easy updo, leaving a few curls loose to frame my face. I finished my hair and makeup just in time for Sumi to text me saying that she is here to get me.

Me: Come up to the 25th floor, apt 824, I am almost done.

Sumi: On my way up, girl.

A few moments later I hear the doorbell and I rush to let Sumi in. 

“Hey there beautiful,” she greets me at the door. Giving me a once over and whistling. 

Laughing, I spin around cutely doing a pose once I am facing her again. “Look who’s talking! You look gorgeous as always! Your turn.” I motion for her to also give me a spin. Sumi laughs and does the same cute spin around and ends with her own pose. She is wearing a black halter neck midi dress and silver heels that match her purse.

“I just need to grab my boots and purse then we can head out.” I tell her as I gather everything before we head out the door towards the elevator. We stroll quickly through the lobby towards the building's entrance where Sumi’s driver is waiting. We get settled in the backseat as her driver pulls onto the road, taking us to the restaurant.

Sumi angles her body towards me, “So… I heard that you got to hang out with the guys yesterday. How was it?”

Shrugging, I can’t help the smile that my lips form. “It was good, they are really nice and we talked for a couple of hours. I am really excited to get to work with them. How did you know?”

“Addie told me when we went to grab a late lunch in the cafeteria.”

“I didn’t know you and Addie knew each other?”

Sumi giggles, grabbing my hand. “Oh girl, yes. Addie and I go way back. We met back when we were both working with Twice. She has also designed some gowns for me. She is one of my dear friends.”

“Wait– you both worked with Twice? Oh wow,” I say, gripping her hand excitedly. “I bet her gowns were gorgeous! You’ll have to show them to me one day.”

“Okay, back to the guys…” Sumi looks at me as if I am hiding juicy gossip.

I laugh, “What about them? We talked, they were nice and polite… I don’t know what else to say.” But I can feel the blush coloring my cheeks.

Sumi just eyes me with a knowing look. “Girl, please…”

Before she can finish her thought, the car comes to a stop in front of the lounge. Sumi’s driver steps out and opens the car door for us, holding his hand out for each of us as we step out onto the sidewalk in front of the Cocktail Kingdom Lounge.

We walk through the doors to the hosts’ table, where Sumi tells them that we have a reservation for 7 p.m. We are then escorted through the lounge to our table located along the back wall. The establishment has a cozy yet sophisticated vibe to it. Dark colored walls, dim lighting, and plush emerald seating gives off a cozy feeling. The gold chandeliers, etched glass cabinets, and tall ceilings give a sophisticated vibe. The lounge is crowded but is surprisingly quiet, not like the bars back in New York.

We get comfortable in our seats as the host tells us that our server will be with us in just a moment. As soon as the hostess is out of ear shot, Sumi is quick to continue the conversation I was hoping that she would forget.

“Like I was saying, those boys were all making eyes at you at the gala, especially Felix. Even Dae-hyun commented on it to your brother and Jongho. Which was hilarious to watch because Hongjoong’s eyes about popped out of his head and Jongho couldn’t stop laughing.” We both crack up at the mental image of Joong digesting that information. “Plus, I also saw how you were around them, especially when you danced with Felix, Hyunjin, and Changbin. Girl, you were smitten.”

I sigh, because I know what Sumi is saying is true about how I was feeling that night. But what Chan said about skinship and being close with their staff still floats around in my head. Before I can answer Sumi, our waiter comes over to us. We order some cocktails and food, thanking the waiter before he leaves to put in our order with the bar and kitchen.

I turn back to Sumi, “Look, I don’t know what is going on. Yes, I guess you can say that I have a crush on Felix— on all of them…”

“But,” Sumi fills in for me with a gesture of her hand.

I take a breath, “But, I work for them now. And Chan already told me that they are just touchy feely people. I am sure that I was just imagining them being flirty when they were just being friendly. Plus, I wouldn’t want to be inappropriate and have a crush on the idols that I work with.”

Sumi just stares at me for a beat like I was speaking in another language. Which I could being that I lived in the states for almost 5 years, but that is besides the point. No, the look she is giving me makes me feel like I am missing the point of something. This quietness makes me squirm in my seat a little, so I decide that now is the best time to take a sip of my Cosmopolitan.

“Jae… first off, yes the guys are touchy feely with those they are close to. Secondly, was there anything in your contract about fraternizing with anyone on the team or the guys?” I shake my head no because I am not sure that my no would come out very strong.

“And finally, I know what I saw the night of the gala. Addie even commented on how Chan was watching you in the stylist room. You do know that it is okay for a team member to have a ‘fling/relationship’ with the idols or other team members they work with, right?” 

Again I shake my head no because I never actually thought about it. Sumi gives me a sweet smile while she reaches across the table to pat my hand.

“I guess I also just don’t want to get my hopes up. Plus, how would things work when I am crushing on all eight of them, Sumi?” 

“Girl, you do know that polyamory is a thing right? I know, it’s still a fairly new concept but it isn’t as taboo as it used to be years ago.” Sumi sits back against her chair with an almost challenging smirk, silently telling me to come up with more excuses.

I roll my eyes but also give her a teasing smile. “Yes, I know polyamorous relationships exist. I have just never thought of it, let alone thought about being in one. Plus who’s to say they would even be interested in that?”

Sumi again gives me that ‘I know something you don’t know’ look before she leans forward towards me. Quietly she says, “Girl, the guys are literally in a poly relationship.” My mouth drops open before I can stop it. I had no clue. Sumi continues, “There is a lot you will learn working in this industry hun. If one or a few of them are interested in you, like you are them, there won’t be an issue. Plus, if what I have heard from the other makeup artists is true, then they don’t mind having other relationships. Apparently Felix and Mina had a thing for a couple of months last year.” She shrugs a shoulder like it’s no big deal.

But the pang of jealousy that shoots through me is a big deal. I’m not bothered that the members are together… that’s fucking hot. No, I am jealous over learning that Felix was in a relationship— situationship or whatever with someone else. Why does this bother me? I didn’t even know him or the guys then. Hell, I was still with Garret at that time. I really need to get it together because it isn’t like me to be jealous and here I am letting the green eyed monster pester me the past two days.

I clear my throat to respond even though Sumi is already smiling like she knows the info she just gave me sat hard with me. “Oh, well I guess it makes sense. We have to sign NDAs and it’s not like it is easy for idols to date outside of the industry for fear of the parasocial relationships they create with the fans to fall apart. My brothers have all told me that before.”

Sumi nods her head as she sips her cosmo listening to me ramble. “And Jae, it’s okay to feel a bit of jealousy. I say that because I did when I first met Dae-Hyun. We were in the friend stage and he had another producer friend that I found out they had had a relationship before. I hated that it made me jealous and I realized it was because I was already falling for him. And now I am marrying him.”

I can’t help the smile that forms on my face watching Sumi light up as she talks about marrying Dae-hyun. She looks so giddy and happy. We spiral down the wedding rabbit hole, which is a great way to get the conversation off me and whatever it is I hope to have with the Stray Kids members. Sumi tells all about how they have everything from the venue, to the cake, menu, theme, and even her dress chosen. The only thing that is still unknown is a wedding date. I can’t help but laugh with her.

“I know the date should have been the first thing that we chose but our schedules are so crazy that we haven’t been able to narrow it down. But we aren’t worried because the perfect date will present itself when it does.”

“One day I hope to find the kind of love that lights me up the way you and Dae-hyuns lights you up, Sumi.”

The rosey blush that stains her cheeks has me grinning even more. “Oh you will, Jae. I am sure of it.”

Sumi sits back in her seat, and we continue getting lost in conversation as we finish our drinks. Time has flown by, when Sumi looks at her watch exclaiming that it is already 10:45p.m. We ask the server for our tabs so we can pay and head home.